Like you'd say to somebody: "You'll like this guy. He's all right. He's a goodfella, he's one of us." You understand? We were goodfellas. Wiseguys. But Jimmy and I could never be made because we had Irish blood. It didn't matter my mother was Sicilian. To become a member of a crew, you've got to be 100% Italian so they can trace your relatives back to the old country. It's the highest honor they can give you. It means you belong to a family and a crew. It means nobody can fuck around with you. It also means you could fuck around with anybody just as long as they aren't also a member. It's like a license to steal. A license to do anything. How many years ago since you were made? - I'm an old-timer. 30 years ago. - Thirty years? Brings back a lot of memories. Pike's Peak was a pimple then, wasn't it? As far as Jimmy was concerned, with Tommy being made it was like we were all being made. We would now have one of our own as a member. - Who's this? - This is Vinnie. Vinnie. What happened? Did we get straightened out? No, we had a problem. We tried to do everything we could. What do you mean? You know what I mean. He's gone, and we couldn't do nothing about it. - That's it. - What do you mean? He's gone. That's it. I knew it! I can't fucking believe it. - What happened? - They fucking whacked him. Fuck. Are you all right? It was revenge for Billy Batts and a lot of other things. And that's that. There was nothing we could do about it. Batts was a made man and Tommy wasn't. We had to sit still and take it. It was among the Italians. It was real greaseball shit. They even shot Tommy in the face so his mother couldn't give him an open coffin at the funeral. I was gonna be busy all day. I had to drop off some guns at Jimmy's to match some silencers he had. I had to pick up my brother at the hospital and drive him home. I had to pick up some new Pittsburgh stuff for Lois to fly down to some customers I had near Atlanta. Right away, I knew he didn't want them, and I'd be stuck for the money. I only bought them because he wanted them, and now he didn't. What good are these? None of them fit. What's the matter with you? I'm not paying for it. I didn't say a thing. Jimmy was so pissed off, he didn't even say goodbye. Stop the drugs. They're making your mind into mush! - You hear me? - I'll take them back. I knew my Pittsburgh guys always wanted guns. Since I would see them in the afternoon to pick up a delivery I was pretty sure I'd get my money back. Oh, my God. When I finally got to the hospital, Michael's doctor wanted to put me in bed. Jesus Christ, what happened to you? I almost got into an accident on the way here. And I told him I was partying all night. - I'm fine. - Come on. Get over here. - Doc, I'm fine. - Let me check you out. Come on. He took mercy on me, gave me 10 milligrams of Valium and sent me home. My plan was to drop off my brother at the house and pick up Karen. There it is. You see that helicopter right there? Right in front of us, there. I think it's been following me all morning. - Get the fuck out. What are you, nuts? - I'm telling you. I don't know what's going on. It's the third time I've seen it. At the hospital I saw it. I had to make some stops. I've seen it every time. I've been all over town and I've seen it all day. I was cooking dinner that night. I had to start braising the beef and veal shanks for the tomato sauce. It was Michael's favorite. I was making ziti with meat gravy and I'm planning to roast some peppers over the flames put on some string beans with olive oil. I had some beautiful cutlets that were cut just right that I was going to fry up as an appetizer. So, I was home for about an hour. My plan was to start the dinner early so Karen and I could unload the guns Jimmy didn't want then get the package for Lois to take to Atlanta for her trip later that night. I kept looking out the window, and I saw that the helicopter was gone. Michael, keep an eye on the sauce. Stay here with your uncle Michael. So I asked my brother to watch the sauce. and Karen and I started out. Oh, God. I see it. - I see it. Look, it's right there. - Damn! - That's it. - There it is. We got to get to your mother's. See, I told you. It's funny. - It's not the end of the world. - We're going to your mother's. Go inside, tell your mother not to touch anything outside the house. Nothing. We couldn't go to your mother's house? You had to come here. Let's go shopping. I'm not nuts, it's been following me all morning. I'm telling you. Fine. Fine. He thinks I'm paranoid! I should bring him the helicopter, then we'll see how paranoid I am. Come on, let's go inside. - Yeah, it's gone. - I don't hear anything. Let's go back to your mother's. - They all right? - Beautiful. They're great. Didn't I tell you, you were paranoid? Didn't I tell him? Yeah. I need a hit. Want to see helicopters? Come on, I'll show you helicopters. I've seen enough helicopters for one day, thank you. My plan was I had to get home and get the package ready for Lois to take on her trip. Also, I had to get to Sandy's house to give the package a whack with quinine. Plus, I knew Sandy would get on my ass. Then I had the cooking to finish, and I had to get Lois ready for her trip. - It's Sandy. What is this? - She's a pain in the ass. - When are you coming over? - In an hour. - You staying tonight, right? - I can't. I got my brother tonight. Come on, stop. We'll talk about it later, okay? Goodbye. - Hello? - It's me. You ready? Listen, tell Michael not to let the sauce stick. Keep stirring it. - Henry says don't let the sauce stick. - I'm stirring it. - Listen, you know what to do? - Yeah, yeah. Don't "yeah, yeah" me, Lois. This is important. Make sure you leave the house when you make the call. You understand me? You hear me? Call from an outside line. I mean it. Jesus, you must think I'm dumb. Why are you bugging me? I know what to do. You little hick, just make sure you do it. You can be such a pain. - Hey! Just do it! - Okay. Un-fucking-believable. All of them. Every fucking girl in my life. - What did he say? - Nothing. What does she do after she hangs up with me? After everything I told her? After all her "yeah, yeah" bullshit? She picks up the phone and calls from the house. If anybody was listening, they'd know everything. They'd know a package was leaving my house and they'd even have the time and flight number, thanks to her. As soon as I got home, I started cooking. I had a few hours until Lois' flight. I told my brother to keep eye on the stove. All day long the guy's been watching helicopters and tomato sauce. You see, I had to drive over to Sandy's, mix the stuff, then get back to the gravy. Do you think you can come over here, fuck me, and leave? - Come on. - You got someplace better to go? Don't talk like that. Come on. - You all right? - Yeah, sure. You believe me? Do you believe me? Do you believe me? - That the last one? - Yeah. You lying son of a bitch. I hate you! Please stop feeding the dog from the table from the plate on top of it. Stop it. - I have to. - You don't have to. I got to go home. What do you mean, you got to go home? I've been carrying this all day. We got to start taping it to your leg. We got to go soon. I got to go home and get my hat. Forget your fucking hat. Are you kidding me? So I need a trip to Rockaway because you want your hat? I need it, I got to have it. It's my lucky hat. I never fly without it. Lois, do you understand what we are involved in here? I don't care. I need my hat. I won't fly without it. What could I do if she insisted I drive her home for her goddamn hat? I hid the package in the kitchen and went to take her home. A hat? What the fuck is this? Police! Freeze! Don't you move, you motherfucker or I'll blow your brains out. Shut the car off slowly. For a second, I thought I was dead. But when I heard all the noise, I knew they were cops. Only cops talk that way. Don't fucking move. If they had been wiseguys, I wouldn't have heard a thing. I would have been dead. Michael, lock the door! Talk to me. When was the last time you took a collar? Fuckhead, I'm talking to you. You don't want to say a fucking word, don't. I don't really give a fuck. You'll do 25 years. See how much of a good guy you'll be then. All day I thought the guys in the helicopter were local cops busting my balls over Lufthansa. They turned out to be narcs. Just get the lawyer. They'd been on me a month. Phone taps, surveillance, everything. You know the boys. All the pals are here. You don't want to talk to me, you'll have a problem all night. Each one of these counts holds 25-to-life in New York State. Twenty-five fucking years, pal. I'll slap your fucking head inside out. What, were you guys grocery shopping? Are we going to make a cake? You going to make a fucking cake? You got anything good in there? Is it good? Bye-bye, dickhead. See you in Attica, dick. I spoke to Jimmy. He offered to give me some money. He just wants to know what's happening. He just wants to talk to you. Fuck Jimmy and his money. I got to straighten out everything with Paulie or I'm dead, Karen. Then you're better off staying in here. They could whack me in here as easy as outside, maybe even easier. They're afraid I'll rat them out. People are already walking away from me. I'm dead in here. You got to get me out. Karen finally got her mother to put her house up for my bail and I was out. I remember I had this feeling I would be killed right outside the jail. I knew Paulie was still pissed at me, and he's such a hothead. And I was worried about Jimmy. See, Jimmy knew if Paulie found out he was into drug deals with me Paulie would have Jimmy whacked even before me. This is the bad time. I didn't feel safe until I got home. Now my plan was to stay alive long enough to sell off the dope the cops never found, then disappear until I can get things straightened out. Karen! Fuck! - Where's the stuff I left, Karen? - I flushed it down the toilet. You what? What was I supposed to do? They were all over the house. That was worth $60.000! I need that money! That's all we got! What was I supposed to do? They had a search warrant! That's all the money we had! I was depending on that! Why did you do that? I had to. They were going to find it! - They would have never found it! - They would have, I swear to you! They would've found it! Why did you do that? - They would have found it. - Why did you do that, Karen? Oh, my God! - I had to do it. - Oh, my God. Paulie, I'm really sorry. I don't know what else to say. I know I fucked up. Fucked up. Yeah, you fucked up. But I'm all right now. I can be trusted now. I'm clean. On my kids, I'm clean. You looked in my eyes and lied to me. You treated me like a fucking jerk. Like I was never nothing to you. After what you said, I couldn't come to you. You know, I was ashamed. I'm ashamed now. But I got nowhere else to go, Paulie. You're all I've got. And I really need your help. I really do. Take this. And now I've got to turn my back on you. $3.200. That's what he gave me. $3.200 for a lifetime. It wasn't even enough to pay for the coffin. - We got to get out. - I don't want to run. I don't want to. Am I supposed to just pick up and leave everything? Go hiding? I don't want to do that. Is that what you want? If we stay around here, we're dead. You got it? We're dead. They're right. You took too much of that stuff. You're totally paranoid. How's he doing? Busting his balls or what? He's okay. They sobered him up. Good. Very good. Glad to hear it. You know what kind of questions they're asking him? Jimmy, I don't know. I got my mind on so many other things. I got no money... The girls are old enough to read the newspapers. Tell him he's got to call me. Okay? As soon as you talk to him, e's got to call me. It's very important. He doesn't know I came here to see you. It's like he's crazy. - Take this. It's a couple of thousands. - Thanks, Jimmy. Don't worry, everything will be all right. I got some beautiful Dior dresses. You want to have them? Pick out a few for yourself. - For my mom. - Yeah, whatever. No. It's over here. In the store on the corner. It's swag, so I got it down on the corner. Go ahead, sweetheart, I'll see you. - Thanks, Jimmy. - Don't worry. - I'll try. - Don't forget, he's got to call me. - Over here? - Right down there. It's over there, on the corner. Right there. No, go ahead. It's right in there. No, Jimmy. I'm in a hurry! My mom's watching the kids! I got to get home! I'll come back later! Karen! What happened? Nothing. - What happened? - I just got scared. Got the keys? - What happened, Karen? - I just got scared. It's o... It's okay. - Are you all right? - Yeah. If you're part of a crew nobody ever tells you they're going to kill you. It doesn't happen that way. There aren't any arguments or curses like in the movies. Your murderers come with smiles. They come as your friends. People who cared for you all your life. They always seem to come in the time when you're weakest and most in need of their help. So I met Jimmy in a crowded place we both knew. I got there 15 minutes early, and Jimmy was already there. He took the booth near the window so he could see everyone who drove up to the restaurant. He wanted to make sure I wasn't tailed. He was jumpy. He hadn't touched a thing. On the surface, of course, everything was supposed to be fine. We were supposed to be discussing my case. But I had a feeling Jimmy was trying to sense if I'd rat on him to save my neck. I been telling you your whole life, don't talk on the fucking phone. Now you understand? It's going to be okay. You got a good chance to beat the case. You know that kid from the city we were talking about? You know? The kid turned out to be a rat. As soon as he got pinched, he ratted on everybody. I know where he is. He's hiding now. Know what I'm saying? Would you have a problem going with Anthony to take care of that? No, not at all. That way they got nothing. Jimmy had never asked me to whack somebody before. But now he's asking me to go to Florida and do a hit with Anthony. That's when I knew I would never have come back from Florida alive. Whenever you move me, I asked once and I'll tell you again I don't want to go any place cold. You don't have a choice in that matter. Come on. Just whoever fucking controls it... just no place cold. Do that for me. I'm trying to... He's bronchial, that's why. If he's legitimately bronchial, we'll take it to consideration. I'd like to go someplace not cold. Can I ask you some questions? What about my parents? What about them? Am I going to see them? Am I going to talk to them? Don't I have some kind of contact with them? No. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You mean to tell me that God forbid, something happens to my parents they get sick, I can't going see them? Maybe something can be worked out, if they're sick if there's extraordinary circumstances... I can't do this. I can't do this, Henry. I can't leave my parents. Excuse me, Karen, I told you before. I'm not going to do this unless you and the kids come with me. I can't do it without you. So, you do whatever, but... that's it. - You need Henry, not me, right? - That's right. Frankly, I don't care whether you go or not. If it'll make him a better witness, I'd like you to be with him. They want Henry, not me. Henry'll be in the protection program. They can't get to him. They can only get to him by getting to you getting to your kids. If he goes into the program, you're in danger... - I don't know anything. - Don't give me... the babe-in-the-woods routine, Karen. I've listened to those wiretaps, and I've heard you talk about cocaine. Conversation after conversation you talked to Henry on the phone. It doesn't matter. Whether he goes to jail or stays on the streets and beats the case, he's a dead man. He knows it and you know it. What about the kids and school? Will they get left back? I mean, what goes on? Go to Wall Street and get real crooks. Whoever sold you those suits had a sense of humor. What it comes down to is we're your only salvation. We'll gonna save your life, we'll gonna save his life and we'll keep you out of jail. This morning you told the jury about your background. It was easy for us to disappear. My house was in my other-in-law's name. My cars were registered to my wife. My Social Security cards and driver's licenses were phonies. I never voted, I never paid taxes. My birth certificate and arrest sheet was all you'd ever have to know I was alive. - Do you see him here in this courtroom? - Yes. Will you please point him out for the jury? Let the record reflect that mr. Hill identified the defendant, James Conway. Do you also know a man named Paul Cicero? Yes. - Do you see him in the courtroom? - Yes. Can you point him out for the jury? Let the record reflect that mr. Hill identified the defendant, Paul Cicero. Your Honor, I have a document... See, the hardest thing was leaving the life. I still love the life. We were treated like movie stars with muscle. We had it all, just for the asking. Our wives, mothers, kids, everybody rode along. I had paper bags filled with jewelry stashed in the kitchen. I had a sugar bowl full of coke next to the bed. People call them rats because rats do anything to survive. Isn't that right? - Objection! - Objection sustained. - I know nothing about being a rat. - You know everything about being a rat. Objection, Your Honor. In view of the violence... Anything I wanted was a phone call away. Free cars. Keys to a dozen hideout flats all over the city. I'd bet $20.000, $30.000 over a weekend then blow the winnings in a week or go to the sharks to pay the bookies. It didn't matter. It didn't mean anything. When I was broke I would go out and rob some more. We ran everything. We paid off cops. We paid off lawyers. We paid off judges. Everybody had their hands out. Everything was for the taking. And now it's all over. That's the hardest part. Today everything is different. There's no action. I have to wait around like everyone else. Can't even get decent food. After I got here I ordered spaghetti with marinara sauce and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I'm an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook. What the fuck is that? Jimmy? -What's up? -Did I hit something? What the fuck is that? Maybe you got a flat? No. What the fuck? You better pull over and see. He's still alive. You fuckin' piece of shit! Die, you motherfucker! Look at me! Look into my fuckin' eyes. Die! As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster. To me being a gangster was better than being president of the United States. Even before I first wandered into the cabstand for an after-school job I knew I wanted to be part of them. It was there that I knew I belonged. To me, it meant being somebody in a neighborhood full of nobodies. They weren't like anybody else, I mean they did whatever they wanted. They double parked in front of a hydrant and nobody ever gave them a ticket. In the summer, when they played cards all night nobody ever called the cops. Tony Stacks. How are you? Tuddy Cicero. Could this be the Canarsie Kid? Tuddy. Tuddy ran the cabstand and the Bella Vista Pizzeria and a few other places for his brother, Paul, who was the boss over everybody in the neighborhood. Paulie might have moved slow but it was only because Paulie didn't have to move for anybody. -lt's your fault. -You started it! I started it? It's your fault. At first my parents loved that I found a job across the street from the house. My father, who was Irish, was sent to work at the age of 11. He liked that I got myself a job. He always used to say that American kids were spoiled lazy. Henry! Watch how you cross! Bring back milk! And my mother was happy after she found out that the Ciceros came from the same part of Sicily as she did. To my mother that was the answer to all her prayers. I was the luckiest kid in the world. I could go anywhere, I could do anything. I knew everybody, and everybody knew me. Wiseguys would pull up and Tuddy would toss me their keys and let me park their Cadillacs. Here I am, this little kid, I can't even see over the steering wheel and I'm parking Cadillacs. But, it wasn't too long before my parents changed their minds about my job at the cabstand. For them, the cabstand was supposed to be a part-time job. But for me it was definitely full time. That's all I wanted to do. People like my father could never understand, but I was part of something. I belonged. I was treated like a grown-up. Tell him 519. Every day I was learning to score. A dollar here, a dollar there. I was living in a fantasy. Did you have a good day at school today? My father was always pissed off. He was pissed that he made such lousy money, he was pissed that my kid brother Michael was in a wheelchair. He was pissed that there were seven of us living in such a tiny house. Tell me about this. It's a letter from school. It says you haven't been there in months. In months! You're a bum! Want to grow up to be a bum? But after a while, he was mostly pissed because I hung around the cabstand. He knew what went on at that cabstand. And every once in a while I'd have to take a beating. But by then, I didn't care. The way I saw it everybody takes a beating sometime. I can't make any more deliveries. What do you mean you can't make any more deliveries? You're gonna fuck everything up. My dad said he's gonna kill me. Look. Come on with me. -ls that him there, kid? -No. -How about him? -Nope. -That's the guy-- -Get him. Excuse me. -Scumbag. -Come here, you piece of shit. -Know this kid? -Yeah. -Know where he lives? -Yeah. -You deliver mail to his house? -Yeah. From now on, any letter from that school to that kids house comes directly here. You understand? If another letter from that school goes to that kid's house in the fuckin' oven you're gonna go, head first. That was it. No more letters from truant officers. No more letters from school. In fact, no more letters from anybody. Finally, after a couple of weeks, my mother had to go to the post office and complain. How could I go back to school after that and pledge allegiance to the flag and sit through good government bullshit? Paulie hated phones. He wouldn't have one in his house. Mickey called. Want me to call him back? All right, make the call. He used to get all his calls second hand. Then you'd have to call the people back from an outside phone. Got a nickel? Get him on the phone. There were guys, that's all they did all day long, was take care of Paulie's phone calls. For a guy who moved all day long Paulie didn't talk to six people. If there was a union problem or, say a beef in the numbers only the top guys could meet with Paulie to discuss the problem. Everything was one-on-one. Paulie hated conferences. He didn't want anybody hearing what he said and he didn't want anybody listening to what he was being told. Hundreds of guys depended on Paulie, and he got a piece of everything they made. It was tribute, just like in the old country, except they were doing it here in America. All they got from Paulie was protection from other guys looking to rip them off. And that's what it's all about. That's what the FBI could never understand. That what Paulie and the Organization does is offer protection for people who can't go to the cops. That's it. That's all it is. They're like the police department for wiseguys. People looked at me differently, and they knew I was with somebody. I didn't have to wait in line at the bakery on Sunday mornings anymore for fresh bread. The owner knew who I was with, and he'd come from around the counter no matter how many people were waiting I was taken care of first. Our neighbors didn't park in our driveway anymore, even though we didnt have a car. At 13 I was making more money than most of the grown-ups in the neighborhood. I mean I had more money than I could spend. I had it all. One day.... One day, some of the kids from the neighborhood carried my mother's groceries all the way home. You know why? It was out of respect. Hi Mom, what do you think? Look at my shoes. Aren't they great? My God... You look like a gangster. They shot me. Help! Henry, shut the door. That was the first time I had ever seen anyone shot. Can't have that in here. Jesus Christ! I can't have that in this joint. I remember feeling bad about the guy, But I also remember feeling that maybe Tuddy was right. I knew Paulie didn't want anyone dying in the building. You're a real jerk. You wasted eight fucking aprons on this guy. I don't know what the hell's wrong with you. I got to toughen this kid up. It was a glorious time. And wiseguys were all over the place. It was before Apalachin and before Crazy Joe decided to take on a boss and start a war. It was when I met the world. And it was when I first met Jimmy Conway. He couldn't have been more than 28 or 29 at the time, but he was already a legend. He'd walk in the door and everybody who worked the room just went wild. He'd give a doorman $100 just for opening the door. He'd shove hundreds in the pockets of the dealers and all the guys that ran the games. I mean, the bartender got $100 just for keeping the ice cubes cold. The Irishman is here to take all you Guineas' money. -Want a drink? -Give me a Seven and Seven. Jimmy. I'd like you to meet the kid Henry. How you doin'? Pleasure. Thank you. Keep them coming. See, Jimmy was one of the most feared guys in the city. He was first locked up at 11, and he was doing hits for mob bosses when he was 16. See, hits never bothered Jimmy. It was business. But what Jimmy really loved to do... what he really loved to do was steal. I mean, he actually enjoyed it. Jimmy was the kind of guy who rooted for the bad guys in the movies. Give me your wallet. You might know who we are, but we know who you are. You understand? He was one of the city's biggest hijackers of booze, cigarettes, razor blades, shrimp and lobsters. Shrimp and lobsters were best. They went really fast. And almost all of them were gimmies. I mean, they just gave it up, no problem. They called him Jimmy the Gent. Tommy...help the lady. Drivers loved him. They used to tip him off about the really good loads. Of course, everybody got a piece. Thanks Jimmy, I'll be back for the rest later. Ok, see you later... Henry, come here. Say hello to Tommy. Youse gonna be working together, okay? Help him. Go ahead. Hey Jimmy, you got anything good? And when the cops assigned a whole army to stop Jimmy, what did he do? He made them partners. Jimmy, I'd complain, but who'd listen? -What do you need? -I'll take two Luckys. -Here you go, Henry. -Thanks a lot. Here ya go... -What do you need? -One Pall Mall. Here ya go... Whoa, whoa... what do you think you're doin'? -lt's all right. -Why, you got permission from your mother? How many cartons you need? -Where'd you get the cigarettes? -Get him out of here. -lt's okay. -lt's not okay! -No, you don't understand. -No, you don't understand. Store's closed. -Henry got pinched. -Where? By the factory. Selling cigarettes... Henry Hill. The People of the State of New York vs. Henry Hill. Docket #704162. Yes, sir. That's me. Just stand there. Now stay there. Counselor, proceed. Congratulations. Here's your graduation present. -What for? I got pinched. -Everybody gets pinched, but you did it right. -You told them nothin' and they got nothin'. -l thought you'd be mad. I'm not mad, I'm proud of you. You took your first pinch like a man and learned the two greatest things in life. What? Look at me. Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut. Here he is! Oh ho... You broke your cherry! Congratulations! By the time I grew up, there was 30 billion a year in cargo moving through Idlewild Airport, and believe me, we tried to steal every bit of it. See, ya gotta understand, we grew up near the airport. It belonged to Paulie. We had friends and relatives who worked all over the place... and they would tip us off about what was coming in and what was moving out. If any of the truckers or airlines gave us any trouble Paulie had his union people scare them with a strike. It was beautiful. It was an even bigger money maker than numbers and Jimmy was in charge of it all. Whenever we needed money, we'd rob the airport. To us, it was better than Citibank. You got a phone? Come on! Two niggers just stole my truck. Can you fucking believe that shit? There was Jimmy and Tommy and me. And there was Anthony Stabile. Frankie Carbone. And then there was Mo Black's brother, Fat Andy. And his guys, Frankie the Wop and Freddy No Nose. And then there was Pete the Killer, who was Sally Balls' brother. Then you had Nickey Eyes and Mikey Franzese. Jimmy Two-Times, who got that nickname because he said everything twice. I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers. What is this? Coats? I need suits, Henry, not coats. Suits are up on Thursday. I know, but this is the middle of the fucking summer. What am I gonna do with fur coats? You don't want furs? I'll take the furs away. No, don't take them away, I want them. We'll hang them in the freezer with the meat. How's that? For us, to live any other way was nuts. To us, those goody-good people who worked shitty jobs for bum paychecks and took the subway to work every day and worried about bills, were dead. They were suckers. They had no balls. If we wanted something, we just took it. If anyone complained twice, they got hit so bad, believe me, they never complained again. It was just all routine. You didn't even think about it. Frankie, what the fuck does 520 have to do with 469? 520 ain't even close to 469. What he fuck does that got to do with anything? Piece of cake. It's all there. Don't worry about the alarms. I just gotta find a way to get the key. -No problems? -l'll take care of it. -Tell him what you were telling me about, Frenchy. -Too good to be true. Big score coming from Air France. Bags of money like this coming in. ok? Tourists and American servicemen change their money over into French money and send it back here. -Calm down. -lt's beautiful. It's totally, totally untraceable. Our only problem is getting a key, but I got a plan. -Me and Frenchy and this citizen. -Yeah, he's a piece of work. If I'm right, there could be half a mil coming in, all cash. The best time is probably over a weekend. So maybe Saturday night. There's a Jewish holiday Monday. They won't find out until Tuesday. Beautiful. What about the security? Security? You're looking at it. lt's a joke. I'm the midnight-to-eight man. I'm the commandant. He just comes in like he's picking up lost baggage with Tommy -lt's beautiful. -lt won't be a problem at all. -Good. -We're on. What's really funny is that fucking bank job in Secaucus. I'm in the middle of the fuckin' weeds, laying down. He comes over he says, "What are you doing?" l said, "Restin'." "Here, you're resting'?" "This ain't no beach or park." "l'm resting! " l said. They pull me in, they start giving me all kinds of questions. You know, this and that. "What are you going to tell us, tough guy?" l says, "My usual. Zero. Nothing." "Why tell you?" The fuck. He says, "No, you're gonna tell me something today, tough guy." I said, "All right, I'll tell ya something, go fuck your mother." You saw the paper, Anthony. My head was out like this. I'm coming around and who do I see in front of me? This big prick again. He says, "What do you want to tell me now, tough guy?" I said, "Bing, what are you doing here? I thought I told you to go fuck your mother." I thought he was gonna shit. The fuckers. Me, I wish I was big just once. Funny. You're really funny. What do you mean, I'm funny? It's funny, you know. lt's a good story. You're a funny guy. You mean the way I talk? What? It's just, you know. You're just funny. You know, the way you tell the story and everything. Funny how? I mean, what's funny about it? -Tommy, you got it all wrong. -Whoa Anthony-- He's a big boy. He knows what he said. What'd ya say? Funny, how? Just, you know. You're funny. Let me understand this. Maybe it's me I'm a little fucked up, maybe. But, I'm funny, how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fucking amuse you? What do you mean, funny? How am I funny? You know, how you tell a story...what? No, I don't know. You said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the fuck am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me what's funny! Get the fuck out of here, Tommy. Motherfucker! I almost had him! You stuttering prick, ya! Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning! What the fuck is it with you? I thought I was getting pinched over here. He's hangin' on my fuckin' neck like a vulture. Like impending danger. What do you want? This guys worried. He didn't want to come over with the check. Could you take care of this? No problem. Tell him to put it on my tab. That's what I want to talk to you about. It ain't just this one. It's seven big ones you owe me. $7,000, that ain't peanuts. I don't mean to be out of order-- lt's good you don't like to be out of order, Sonny. Embarrassing me in front of my friends, callin' me a fuckin' deadbeat. Ya know Sonny, you're a real fuckin' mutt. You know the money we spend in this fucking-- -Don't be like that. -Like what? Do you believe this prick? You think this is funny, eh? What the fuck are you looking at? You fuckin' moron! You don't want to bring the check? Do you believe this prick? You're supposed to be doing this stuff, too, ya know? You're a funny guy. That's it, Henry! You want to laugh? This prick last week asked me to christen his kid. I charged him $7,000. You really are a funny guy. I'm worried. I'm hearing all kinds of fucking bad things. I mean, he's treating me like I'm a fuckin' half-a- fag or something. I'm gonna wind up a lammist. I gotta go on the fuckin' lam to get away from this guy. This ain't right. I can't go here or there. You think you're the only one? I talk to them a million times. They don't listen. If you tell him, he'll stop. I'll wind up being declared M.l.A. They're gonna find me in the back of a car somewhere, in the weeds? You've known this fuckin' Tommy all your life. Who knows better than you? This cocksucker's an arch criminal. When I leave my house in the morning, before I get to the car, I'm lookin' over both shoulders. This is no way to live. I'm no fence jumper. -Tell me what I gotta do, whatever the fuck I gotta do I'm gonna do, no? -What could I do? If there was something I could do, don't you think I would do it? You know me, I'd like to help you out. Sonny...tell him what we talked about. Maybe you could come in with me, take a piece of this fuckin' joint. it'd be good. What are you talking about? You mean the restaurant? It's a classy place. You've been in here a million times. Tommy taking over this fuckin' joint is like putting a silk hat on a pig. I don't mean any disrespect, but that's the way it is. I'm begging you. What can I say? What am I going to do? What does he want from me? I don't know anything about the restaurant business. All I know is how to sit down and order a meal. Not for you. Just a place to hang. The chef is great. The fuckin'shows are good. There's a lot of whores coming in. What do you want from me? Tommy's a bad seed. What am I supposed to do? Shoot him? That wouldn't be a bad idea. I'm sorry I said that. I didn't mean to say that. I just mean that he's scaring me. I just need help. Help me, please. You know anything about this fuckin' restaurant business? He knows everything about it. He's in the joint 24 hours a day. Another fucking few minutes, he could be a stool. That's how often he's in there. You want me to be your partner? is that what you're tryin' to tell me? You want me to be partners? What do you think I'm talking about? Paulie, please. It's not even fair. You don't understand. You run the joint. Maybe I'll try to help you. God bless you, Paulie. You've always been fair with me. Now the guy's got Paulie as a partner. Any problems, he goes to Paulie. Trouble with a bill, he can go to Paulie. Trouble with the cops, deliveries, Tommy he can call Paulie. But now the guy's gotta come up with Paulie's money every week no matter what. "Business is bad? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. " "The place got hit by lightning, huh? Fuck you, pay me. " Also, Paulie could do anything. Especially run up bills on the joint's credit. And why not? Nobody's gonna pay for it anyway. And as soon as the deliveries are made in the front door, you move the stuff out the back and sell it at a discount. Take a $200 case of booze and you sell it for $100. It doesn't matter. It's all profit. And then finally, when there's nothing left when you can't borrow another buck from the bank or buy another case of booze you bust the joint out. You light a match. Do you need any help reaching anything? You look like you're decorating a Christmas tree, ya fuckin' prick. She's from the Five Towns. Who? Who? The Jew broad, Diane. I was tellin' you about inside. I been trying to bang this broad for a fuckin' month, now. The only thing, she won't go out with me alone, ya know? -No. -No, what? No, what Henry? Who the fuck asked ya anything? I didn't even ask ya anything. At least wait to hear what I'm going to say. All right, what? Ok, what. She won't go out with Italians alone. She's prejudiced against Italians. You fucking believe that? In this day and age? What the fuck is this world coming to? I can't believe this. A Jew broad, prejudiced against Italians. Anyway, she won't go out with me alone without her girlfriend. So you come along for her friend. See? I knew it. I knew it. What the fuck is wrong with that? -When is this? -Tomorrow night. I can't tomorrow night, I gotta meet Tuddy. You could meet Tuddy. You could fuckin' come early and then still go. -Why do you always do this? -Don't give me that shit. What did I ask you for? A favor. I do a lot of fucking favors for you. I'm trying to bang this fuckin' broad. You wanna help me out? I don't understand you. She's fuckin' beautiful! Her fuckin' family they live in the Five Towns. These Jew broads got alotta money. Maybe the family owns the whole fuckin' block. You're liable to end up with a big fuckin' score here, ya motherfucker. See! You with your fucking mouth! I had a meeting with Tuddy around 11:00, and here I am a backup guy for Tommy. Did you have enough to eat? It was delicious. I'm just watching my diet. Let me watch your figure. I couldn't wait to get away. I was ordering the dessert when they were eating dinner. When they were having coffee, I was asking for a check. Have some coffee. lt'll wake you up. Joe, can we have the check? What are you doing? -l got to go. -Go where, Henry? We just got here. I got that thing. I gotta go. Alright, wait a couple of minutes and we'll all leave together. Ok, this way you don't go out like a bunch of hobos, staggerring out one at a time, eh? I couldn't stand him. I thought he was really obnoxious. He kept fidgeting around. You don't mind, do you? That's very annoying. Good, huh? You'd probably do alot better with Manischewitz, but it'd look funny on my table. -Ready? -Henry, lighten up... We just got here. What are you doing? Before it was even time to go home, he was pushing me into the car then pulling me out. It was ridiculous. But Diane and Tommy made us promise to meet them again on Friday night. We agreed. Of course, when Friday night came around, Henry stood me up. I feel terrible. I don't know where he is. He really liked you, too. That's all he did was talk about her. We were a trio instead of a double date that night. He should have called. I hope it's nothing serious. But I made Tommy take me looking for him. Tommy, what the fuck? You got some nerve standing me up. Nobody does that to me. Who the hell do you think you are, Frankie Valli or some kind of big shot? Slow down, alright. I forgot. I thought it was next week. It was this Friday and you agreed, so you're a liar! We can talk about this. Talk to you after what you just did to me? Forget it. I thought you were gonna stand me up. You looked bored. You didn't say anything. What did you expect? Let me make it up to you... Karen. I'll think about it. I remember, she was screaming on the street, and I mean loud. -But she looked good. -l'll think about it. But it'll cost you, Hill. A lot. She had these great eyes just like Liz Taylor's. At least that's what I thought. Hello, Henry. -Ready? -Yeah. Come on. -Oh no, wait a minute. -What? You have to cover that cross. My mother sees that-- Karen... Mom. I'd like you to meet my friend, Henry Hill. How do you do? My daughter says that you're half Jewish. It's just the good half. See you later. You're leaving your car? He watches the car for me. It's easier than leaving it at a garage and waiting. It's a lot quicker that way. I like going in this way. It's better than waiting in line. How are you doin'? What's up? Here you go. -How are you doin', Gino? -Good. How are you? Every time I come here, Every time, you two. Don't you work? Henry, nice to see you. Hi, how are you? Anthony, right in the front. Anything you need Henry, just let me know. Tony, thanks a lot. I appreciate it. You gave them $20 each. Henry, this is with Mr. Tony, over there. -Where? -Over there. Thanks a lot, Tony. Salut! -What do you do? -What? -What do you do? -l'm in construction. They don't feel like you're in construction. I'm a union delegate. And now, ladies and gentlemen the Copacabana is proud to present the king of the one-liners Henny Youngman. How are you all? I'm glad to be here. Take my wife, please. I take my wife everywhere but she finds her way home. I said, "Where do you wanna go for your anniversary?" She said, "I wanna go somewhere I've never been before. " I said, "Try the kitchen. " Dr. Wellsler is here. Gave a guy six months to live. Couldn't pay his bill. Gave him another six months. I love this crowd. Air France made me. We walked out with $420,000 without using a gun. And we did the right thing. We gave Paulie his tribute. Sixty thousand. It's going to be a good summer. I'm proud of you. That is a lot of money for a kid like you. Anybody asks you where you got it, you got it in Vegas playing craps. Check, sir. No, no, no. You have to sign for it here. Should I tip him? -How ya doin'? -Okay, Bruce. How are you? Okay. -Henry, this is Bruce. Bruce, this is Henry. -Good to meet you. I'll see you around later. Do you know him? Yeah. He lives across the street. ♪ "Roses are red, my love ♪ ♪ "Violets are blue ♪ ♪ "Sugar is sweet, my love ♪ ♪ "But not as sweet as you" ♪ One night, Bobby Vinton sent us champagne. There was nothing like it. I didn't think there was anything strange in any of this. You know, a 21-year-old kid with such connections. He was an exciting guy. He was really nice. He introduced me to everybody. Everybody wanted to be nice to him. And he knew how to handle it. Don't buy wigs that come off at the wrong time. Morrie's wigs don't come off! Even underwater. And remember, Morrie's wigs are tested against hurricane winds. So, forget about money. You can afford a Morrie wig. Prices to fit every budget. So call me now! And come in for a personalized fitting. Morrie, Jimmy's waiting. You're past due. I've been good to you. But there's something quite unreasonable going on here. Jimmy's being an unconscionable ball breaker. Give him 8-to-5 on Cleveland. I never had to pay the vigorish that he demands. What am I, a schmuck on wheels? Please, you know Jimmy. You borrowed his money. Pay him. I didn't agree to three points above the vig. What are you going to do? Going to fight with Jimmy Conway? He wants his money. Give him his money and let us just get the fuck outta here! Hey... Fuck him! Fuck him in the ear! Fuck him in the other ear! Did I ever bust his balls? I could've dropped a dime a million times. Don't call the cops. You're talking crazy. You got money for that commercial! You don't got my fucking money? Jimmy, he's gonna pay you. I'll fucking kill you! Give me the money, cocksucker. Pay me! He'll pay, he'll pay. Morrie's. Who's this? He's here. Jimmy, I'm sorry. You should be sorry. Don't do it again. Give me the fucking money! You hear me? Give me the fucking money! I'll give you.... You've got it, kid. You've got it, believe me. Karen, slow down. Where? Stay there. Don't move. It's Karen, Jimmy. What happened? What happened? Are you all right? Who did it? This guy who lives across the street from me that I've known all my life. He started to touch me. He started to grab me... I told him to stop. He didn't stop. I hit him back. And then he got really angry. He pushed me out of the car. You sure you're all right? Huh? Why don't you go inside and get yourself together. Clean up. What do you want, fucko? You want some, huh? I swear on my fuckin' mother, if you touch her again, you're dead. Don't shoot. Hide this. Are you all right? Are you all right? I know there are women, like my best friends who would have gotten out of there the minute their boyfriend gave them a gun to hide. But I didn't. I got to admit the truth: It turned me on. Mazel tov! Why don't you be like your friend Henry? He's got a nice girl. He's settling down now. He's married. Pretty soon he'll have a nice family. And you're still bouncing around from girl to girl. It was like he had two families. The first time I was introduced to all of them at once, it was crazy. Paulie and his brothers had lots of sons and nephews. Almost all of them were named Peter or Paul. It was unbelievable. Meet Paulie Jr., my nephew. And this is Petey. There must have been two dozen Peters and Pauls at the wedding... This is Marie. ...plus, they were all married to girls named Marie. She looks Italian. And they named all their daughters Marie. And this is Pete. No, I mean Paulie. I get confused myself. By the time I had met everybody, I thought I was drunk. Paulie, you shouldn't have. Welcome to the family. Sunday dinner? So beautiful. I want to cry. Karen, here's something to help you get started, huh? -The bag. The bag. -What bag? The bag with the envelopes in it, all the money. Don't worry about that. Nobody's going to steal that here. He didn't call? -He's with his friends. -What kind of person doesn't call? He's a grown-up. He doesn't have to call every five minutes. If he was such a grown-up why doesn't he get you two an apartment. Oi, don't start. Mom, you're the one who wanted us here. Listen, you're here a month and sometimes I know he doesn't come home at all. What kind of people are these? -What do you want me to do? -Do? What can you do? He's not Jewish. Did you know how these people live? Did you know what they were like? Your father never stayed out all night without calling. Stay out? Daddy never went out at all, Ma! Keep out of it! You don't know how I feel! How do you feel now? You don't know where he is or who he's with! He's with his friends! Dad! Will you leave him out of this? He's suffered enough. The man hasn't been able to digest a decent meal in six weeks. Where were you? Why didn't you call? We were worried to death! A married man does not stay out like this! Normal people don't act like this! What's wrong with you? You're not normal. She's right! What's wrong with you, Henry? What kind of person are you? What is the matter with you? What the fuck kind of people are they? We weren't married to nine-to-five guys. But the first time I realized how different was when Mickey had a hostess party. -Karen, where you from? -Lawrence. Ah, yeah, Lawrence. Out on the island. That's nice. I'm from Miami. You ever been there? It's okay, but it's like you died and woke up in Jew heaven. Angie stop picking at that thing. I'd like to smack his face. The red-haired guy? He looks like a farmer... I'm tellin' ya I can't get through the gate without this guys hands all over me. So I told him, "Keep your fucking hands off me, or I'll cut them off." She means it. He's lucky. I just mention this to Vinnie-- How can you mention it? Vinnie'd kill him. Vinnie'll kill the miserable bastard, then he'll be there for life. Talk about problems. What about Jeannie's kid? He was in an argument. A lousy $10 card game. He pulls out a gun. The gun goes off. Some kid gets killed. When the grandmother hears finds out he's in jail she has a heart attack and drops dead right on the spot. Now Jeannie has a husband and son in jail and a mother in the funeral parlor. -Jeannie drinks. -Maybe she's depressed. Give me a break. She's drunk. As soon as something happens, you automatically make them out to be saints. They had bad skin and wore too much makeup. They didn't look very good. They looked beat-up. And the stuff they wore was thrown together and cheap. A lot of pantsuits and double-knits. She spends her life in a nightgown. The woman is no angel, believe me. They talked about their rotten kids were and about beating them with broom handles and leather belts. But that their kids still didn't pay any attention. When Henry picked me up, I was dizzy. I don't know if I could live like that! God forbid, what would happen if you had to go to prison? Karen... Mickey said that Jeannie's husband-- Do you know why Jeannie's husband went to the can? Because he wanted to get away from her, that's why. Let me tell you something. Nobody goes to jail unless they want to. Unless they make themselves get caught. They don't have things organized. I know what I'm doing. You know who goes to jail? Nigger stickup men. Know why they get caught? Because they fall asleep in the getaway car, Karen. Come on, don't worry so much, sweetie. Come here. After a while, it got to be all normal. None of it seemed like crimes. It was more like Henry was enterprising and that he and the guys were making a few bucks hustling while other guys sat on their asses waiting for handouts. Our husbands weren't brain surgeons, they were blue-collar guys.... The only way they could make extra money, real extra money, was to go out and cut a few corners. Where's the strong box, you fuckin' varmint? Don't fucking move! Don't move! -See you at the diner. -l'm riding shotgun. Did you see him give it right over? Back to the hideout to split up the loot. We were all so very close. There were never any outsiders around. Absolutely never. And being together all the time made everything seem all the more normal. Hello Mrs. Hill, police. I'm Detective Deacy. This is Detective Silvestri. We have a search warrant. Would you read and sign it? Anywhere? We have to go through everything. You boys want some coffee? No coffee now, thanks anyways. -Just be careful. -We'll just go about our business. There was always a little harassment. They always wanted to talk to Henry about this or that. They'd come in with their subpoenas and warrants, and make me sign. But mostly they were just looking for a handout. A few bucks to keep things quiet no matter what they found. I always asked them if they wanted coffee. Some of the wives, like Mickey Conway used to curse at them and spit on the floor. She used to spit on her own floor! That never made any sense to me. It was better to be polite and call the lawyer. ♪ "Happy birthday to you" ♪ We always did everything together and we always were in the same crowd. Anniversaries, christenings. We only went to each other's houses. The women played cards. And when the kids were born, Mickey and Jimmy were always the first at the hospital. And when we went to the Islands or Vegas for vacation we always went together. No outsiders ever. It got to be normal. It got to where I was even proud that I had the kind of husband that was willing to go out and risk his neck just to get us the little extras. But I got Mom to watch the babies tomorrow night. -Can't do it, Karen. -Why not? I just can't do it. I got something lined up. Yeah, but tomorrow night's the only night she can do it. -Pretty please? -Karen, I can't do it. What do you want me to do? -l got to go. -Wait a minute. I wanted to go shopping, can I get some money? How much do you need? That much. This much... Give me a kiss. See you later. Oh...all right. ♪ "I always dreamed the boy I love ♪ ♪ would come along ♪ ♪ "And he'd be tall and handsome, ♪ ♪ rich and strong" ♪ ♪ Now that boy I love has come to me. ♪ ♪ But he sure ain't the way I thought he'd be. ♪ Welcome home, Batts. Hiya, sweetheart. How are you? Sit down. Have a drink. Give them all a drink. And give those Irish hoodlums a drink, down there. There's only one Irishman here. It's a celebration, fellas. -Top of the morning to ya. -lt's good to be home. This is my friend Jimmy. Henry. lt's his joint. This is Lisa. Tommy. All dressed up. All grown up and doing the town. Look at this. Forgot you were having a party for him. Come here. I'll say hello. How are you, Billy? I haven't seen you in six years. Jesus Christ Almighty. You look terrific. Watch the suit. You little prick, ya. I've known you all my life. -Don't go gettin' too big on me. -Just don't bustin' my balls. Hey, Tommy... If I was gonna break your balls, I'd tell ya to "go home and get your shine box." This kid was great. I used to call him "Spitshine Tommy." I swear to God. Oh, he'd make your shoes look like fuckin' mirrors. Excuse my language. He was terrific. He was the best. He made a lot of money too. Salut, Tommy! No more shines, Billy. What? I said "No more shines." Maybe you didn't hear about it... You been away a long time. They didn't go up there and tell you. I don't shine shoes anymore. Relax. What's got into you? I'm breaking your balls a little bit, that's all. I'm only kidding with you. Sometimes you don't sound like you're kiddin'. You know, there's a lot of people around. Tommy, I'm only kidding with you. We're having a party. I haven't seen you in a long time and you get fucking fresh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I'm sorry, too. It's ok, no problem. -Alright, salut. Now go home and get your fucking shine box. Motherfucking mutt! You fucking piece of shit! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, come on! He bought his fucking button! That fake old tough guy! You bought your fucking button! -Don't get nervous. -You motherfucker! Keep that motherfucker here! Keep him here! Keep him here! Come on, you fuckin' feel strong? I'm sorry. Tommy gets a little loaded. He doesn't mean any disrespect. He don't mean any disrespect, Henry? Are you nuts? Teach this kid a little fuckin' manners! Hey Jimmy, what's right is right. -You understand what I'm talkin' about? -lt's alright. The kids over here, we're hugging and kissing over here and then 2 minutes later he's acting like a fucking jerk. No, no, no, nah. You insulted him a little bit. You got a little out of order yourself. -l didn't. -You insulted him a little. -l didn't insult nobody. Give us a drink. -Okay. Come on, let's have some drinks, alright? Drinks on the house. No, have the drink with me. The drinks are on...the house. I fucked kids like that in the can. In the ass. Fucking break up my party. You been away for six years. Everything is different now. I did my fucking time, Jimmy. I came home and I want what I got to get. I got fuckin' mouths to feed. -You're gonna get it. -You understand? Get the door! Let me shoot him in his big, fucking mouth! Let's shoot him. Fucking mutt dented my shoes. His whole crews gonna be looking for him. This is fuckin' bad. What do we do with him? We can't just dump him on the street. Don't worry. I know a place upstate. They'll never find him. Come on, let's get some more tablecloths. I didn't want to get blood on your floor. Henry, go open your trunk. We'll pick up a shovel at my mother's house. She keeps a shovel lying' around here somewhere. Just keep quiet though, I don't want to wake her up. Look who's here. What are you doing? What happened? I hit something on the road. Jimmy'll tell you. What happened to him? I haven't seen you in so long. What happened to him? You, too. How are you? Why are you up so late? Well, he came in. Youse came in. I'm so happy to see him. Go inside. Make yourselves comfortable. I'll make you something to eat. -Go to sleep. We're leaving. -l can't. Not while he's home. I haven't seen him in so long. I want to see him. You go inside. This stuff is great, but it's like lead. Tell me, where you been? I haven't seen you. You haven't called. Where have you been? Mom, I been working nights. And tonight we were out late. We took a ride out to the country and we hit one of them deer. That's where all the blood is from. Jimmy told you. It reminds me, I need this knife. I'm taking this, okay? Just for a while. The poor thing. We hit the deer and his paw. What do you call it? The paw. -The hoof. -Got caught in the grill. I got to hack it off. Ma, it's a sin to leave it there. I'll bring the knife back. Delicious. Why don't you get yourself a nice girl? I get a nice one almost every night, Ma. But get yourself a girl so you could settle down. I settle down almost every night. But then in the morning I'm free. I love you! I want to be with you. Why don't you settle down? How's your friend, Henry? What's the matter? You don't talk too much. Talk. What are you quiet for? You don't eat much, you don't talk much. -l'm just listening. -What's the matter, something wrong with you? When we were kids, the compares used to visit each other. There was this man. He would never talk. He'd just sit there all night. They say to him, "What's the matter? Don't you say anything?" He says, "What am I going to say, that my wife two-times me?" So she says, "Shut up! You're always talking! " But in Italian, it sounds much nicer. -Cornuto contento. -That's it. It means he's content to be a jerk. He doesn't care who knows it. Did Tommy ever tell you about my painting? Look at this. It's beautiful. I like this one...one dog goes one way and the other dog goes the other way. One's going east, and the other one's going west. So what? And this guy's saying, "What do you want from me?" The guy's got a nice head of white hair. Beautiful. The dog looks the same. Looks like somebody we know. Without the beard? No, it's him. It's him. What the fuck is that? For most of the guys, killings got to be accepted. Murder was the only way that everybody stayed in line. You got out of line, you got whacked. Everybody knew the rules. But sometimes, even if people didn't get out of line, they got whacked. Hits became a habit. Guys would get into arguements over nothing and before you knew it, one of them was dead. They were shooting each other all the time. Shooting people was a normal thing. It was no big deal. We had a serious problem with Billy Batts. This was really a touchy thing. Tommy had killed a made guy. Batts was part of the Gambino crew and was considered untouchable. Before you could touch a made guy, you had to have a good reason. You had to have a sit-down, and you better get an okay or you'd be the one who got whacked. Saturday night was for wives, but Friday night at the Copa was always for the girlfriends. And last week we saw Sammy Davis, Jr. You got to see this show. What a performer! He does these impersonations. I swear, you'd think it was the real people! Oh, it's unbelievable. You could see how a white girl could fall for him. What? Not me. But you could see how some girls could. Like that Swedish girl. In other words you condone that stuff? Take it easy. I just wanna make sure I don't wind up kissing fuckin' Nat King Cole over here. I don't mean me. But, you know, he's got personality. "Personality?" He's very talented. I understand perfectly what you're saying. But you have to watch out sometimes how you say things. You know, people get the wrong impression. I just said he was talented. Why don't you just leave it alone now? I understand what you said. He's talented. Leave it at that. ♪ "Pretend you don't see her, my heart ♪ ♪ "Although she is coming ♪ ♪ "Our way ♪ ♪ "Pretend you don't need her ♪ ♪ "My heart ♪ ♪ "But smile and pretend ♪ ♪ "To be gay ♪ ♪ "It's too late for running ♪ ♪ "My heart ♪ ♪ "Chin up if the tears ♪ ♪ "Start to fall ♪ ♪ "Look somewhere above her ♪ ♪ "Pretend you don't love her ♪ ♪ "Pretend you don't see her ♪ ♪ "At all" ♪ No? Not even Uncle Paulie? What did you hear about that thing? What thing? The Brooklyn thing? No, no. The guy from downtown. The guy there from where Christie used to live, there? The guy who disappeared up the block from Christie, the one they made the beef on. You know the guy I mean? His name was Batts. His people are driving everybody crazy looking for him. Nobody knows what happened to him. He came into the joint that one night and then he just disappeared. That was it. Alright, keep your eyes open. Because they're busting my balls about this bastard, alright? Okay, everybody, let's eat. I want my money. I want my money. He owes it. Otherwise, pitch baseball cards. We gotta real problem. You know that thing we took care of upstate? -Paulie was just talking about that. -We gotta get it outta there. They just sold the property they want to make it into condominiums. -Jimmy, it's been six months. -I don't care how long it's been, we gotta get it outta there right away. Henry, hurry up. My mother's making fried peppers and sausage for us. -Henry, here's an arm. -Very funny, guys. Here's a leg. Here's a wing. What do you like, the leg or the wing Henry? Or you still go for the old hearts and lungs? Oh, that's so bad. What happened to the car? I hit a skunk Karen, all right? Go with your mother. It's disgusting, Henry. I set up Janice in an apartment around the corner from the Suite. That way I was able to stay over a couple nights a week. My new antique lamp. Karen was home with the kids. And she never asked any questions anyway. The furniture's all Maurice Valencia. Looks like Roma. This is all silk. This is from Siam. Come see my bedroom. -Tommy, will you take him? -Of course. I'll eat this fucking dog. Love that crystal ball or what? This is where we spend most of our time. I love the floral arrangements. French. Janice and I were having so much fun, she started screwing up at work. I had to straighten out her boss a little bit. Fuckin' Janice can do whatever she wants to do! Got it? Got it? I'm who ya gotta run through, you understand? . Hang up once more and you're gonna deal with me! Get off of her. You're an animal. Spider, on your way over here, bring me a Cutty and water, huh? -Did you guys eat? -l'm starving. -l'll play these. -You'll play those? Do I fuckin' stutter? I'll play those. What am I? A mirage? What? Where's my fucking drink? I asked you for a drink. -You wanted a drink? -l just asked you for a fuckin' drink. I thought you said that you were "all right, Spider." Whatta you got me on a pay-no-mind list, kid? No, I thought I heard someone say "Spider, Spider." -l thought it was Henry. -You're a stuttering fuck. I thought you said, "l was all right, Spider." You ain't all right. No, I thought you said you were all right, Spider. I am all right! You ain't alright, you little fuckin' prick. You been doing this all fuckin' night to me, ya motherfucker! He wants a drink now? I'll bring it. Go get me a fucking drink! Move it, you little prick! You walk like "Stepin Fetchit." For everybody else you fuckin' run. Run for me ya prick! Dance! Dance the fucking drink back here! What's that movie that Bogart made? -The one where he played a cowboy. -The Oklahoma Kid. Oklahoma Kid. Shane? Oklahoma Kid, that's me. You fucking varmint. Dance! Yahoo, ya motherfucker! Round up those fucking wagons. Now he's moving. Shot in the foot. He's fine. So he got shot in the foot. What is it, a big fuckin' deal? Vito, get a towel. Nice fucking game. Take him to Ben Casey. Let him crawl like he crawls for the drinks. Take him to the doctor down the street. Bones are all shattered. Don't get me upset, now. Don't make a big fuckin' thing out of it, Spider! Ya little prick. You trying to make me think what I did here. It was an accident. Fuck him. Little fucking actor. -You in? -l'm in. -Eight hundred. -Eight hundred? You haven't been home in two weeks! You're not going out tonight! Karen, will you grow up! Stop. I'm still gonna go out! Not without your car keys, you're not. Are you nuts? What's your problem? Yes! I'm nuts. Something's going on! -Stop with that, already. Enough! Stop with that! -No! I'm telling you, I look in your face and I know that you're lying! -Get out! Get out! -Shut up! Out of my life! You're fucked in the head. It's in your mind. -You're a lousy bastard! -You got a problem. Go ahead. Go to your ready-made whores. That's all that you're good for! Get out of my life! I can't stand you! Spider, what's your rush? Thank you, Spider. Spider, that fuckin' bandage on your foot is bigger than your fuckin' head. Next thing you know he's gonna be comin' in in one of these fucking walkers. But you can still dance. Give us a couple of fucking steps, Spider. You fucking bullshitter, you. Tell the truth. You llokin' for sympathy, is that it sweetie? . Go fuck yourself, Tommy. I didn't hear right. I can't believe what I heard. This is for you. I got respect for this kid. He's got a lot of balls. Good. Don't take shit from nobody. He shoots him in the foot and he tells him to go fuck himself. Tommy, you going to let this fucking punk get away with that? What's this world coming to? That's what the fucking world's coming to. -How's that? -What is wrong with you? What is the fucking matter with you? Are you stupid or what? I was kidding with you. Are you a sick maniac? How do I know if you're kidding? I'm kidding with you and you fucking shoot the guy? He's dead. Good shot. I'm a good shot. -Hard to miss at this distance. -You got a problem with what I did, Anthony? His family's all rats. He would've grown up to be a rat. Stupid bastard! I can't believe you. Now you're going to dig the hole. I got no fucking lime. I'll dig the hole. I don't give a fuck. is it the first hole I dug? Not the first hole I dug. Where are the shovels? It's Karen Hill. I want to talk to you. Hello? Don't hang up on me! I want to talk to you! You keep away from my husband, you hear me? Open the door! Answer me! I'm gonna tell everyone who walks in this building that in 2R, Rossi, you are nothing but a whore! Is this the superintendent? Yes, I want you to know sir, that you have a whore living in 2R! Rossi, Janice Rossi. Do you hear me? He's my husband! Get your own goddamn man! Wake up, Henry. What are you doing? Karen, what are you, crazy? Yeah, I"m crazy. And I'm crazy enough to kill the both of you. Karen, take it easy. Do you love her? Do you? I love you. You know I love you. You don't. No, you don't. Be careful, baby. Don't. How could I hurt him? I couldn't even bring myself to leave him. The truth was that no matter how bad I felt I was still very attracted to him. Why should I give him to someone else? Why should she win? Karen...just put it down. You know I love you, don't you? You're all I want, Karen. Please, put the gun down, Karen. What are you, fucking crazy? I got enough to worry about getting fuckin' whacked on the street! I got to fucking come home...for this? I should fucking kill you! -How does it feel? -l'm sorry. How does it feel, Karen? I'm sorry! Hi, Jimmy! How are ya? -Looking good. -Thank you. Good to see you. -Hi, Paulie! -Hi, honey. How are you? -Go get some cigarettes, okay? -Sure. -Any of you need anything? -l'm all right. -You want anything to drink? A beer? -No, this.... -Chinese food? -No, come on, sit down. Karen came to the house. She's very upset. This is no good. You got to straighten this thing out. We got to have calm now. We don't know what the hell she's gonna do. She's hysterical. Very excited. She's wild. And you got to take it easy. You got children. I'm not saying you gotta go back to her this minute, but you got to go back. You got to keep up appearances. The two of them come to my house every day. I can't have it. I can't do it, Henry. I can't do it. Nobody says you can't do what you want. We all know that. This is what it is. We know what it is. You have to do the right thing. You have to go home to the family. You got to go home, okay? Look at me. You got to go home. Smarten up. I'll talk to Karen. I'll straighten this out. I know just what to say to her. I'll say you'll go back to her and it'll be like when you first got married. You'll romance her. lt'll be beautiful. I know how to talk to her. Jimmy and Tommy were going to Tampa this weekend to pick up something for me. Instead, you'll go with Jimmy. You come with me. Have a good time. Sit in the sun. Take a couple days off. We'll have a good time. When you come back, you'll go back to Karen. Please, there's no other way. No divorce. We're not animali. No divorce. She'll never divorce him. She'll kill him, but not divorce him. You going to pay us? Just give us the fucking money! I can't. I swear. Let's go. We'll throw the bastard to the lions. Lions? I ain't going near any lions, Jimmy! Just throw him over the moat. I'll get the money! They must really feed each other to the lions down there, 'cause the guy gave the money right up. I'll get the money. We got to spend the rest of the weekend at the track. They mean business. Then, I couldn't believe what happened. When we got home, we were all over the newspaper. At first I didn't even know why we got picked up. Then I found out the guy we roughed up had a sister working as a typist for the FBI. I couldn't believe it. Of all the fucking people. She gave up everybody. Jimmy, me. Even her brother. It took the jury six hours to bring us in guilty. Judge gave Jimmy and me ten years, like he was giving away candy. Ten years in a federal penitentiary. You will now be turned over to the U.S. Attorney Generals office. Toast, guys. Good trip, good life. Get out soon. Good trip, sweetheart. We'll watch the home front. Say hello to those blow-job hacks, huh? Motherfuck them every chance you get. I'll call you, uh, when I get a chance. Now take me to jail. In prison, dinner was always a big thing. We had a pasta course, then we had a meat or a fish. Paulie did the prep work. He was doing a year for contempt and he had a wonderful system for doing the garlic. He used a razor and sliced it so thin it would liquefy in the pan with just a little oil. It was a very good system. Vinnie was in charge of the tomato sauce. Get that smell? Three kinds of meat in the meatballs: veal, beef, and pork. You got to have pork. That's the flavor. I felt he used too many onions, but it was still a very good sauce. Don't put too many onions in the sauce. I didn't put too much onions in, Paul. -There are only three small onions. -Three onions? How many tomatoes? -Two big cans. -You don't need three onions. Johnny Dio did the meat. We had no broiler, so he did everything in pans. It smelled up the joint something awful and the hacks used to die but he cooked a great steak. -How do you like yours? -Medium rare. Medium rare. An aristocrat. When you think of prison you get pictures in your mind of all those old movies with rows and rows of guys behind bars. It wasn't like that for wiseguys. It wasn't bad, but I missed Jimmy, who was doing his time in Atlanta. Give me two steaks. Everyone else in the joint was doing real time, all mixed together, living like pigs. But we lived alone. We owned the joint. We batted them sons of bitches. You couldn't recognize them. They deserved it. Even the hacks we couldn't bribe wouldn't rat on the guys that we did. People used to be able to leave their doors open. Sorry it took so long. That skinny guard's a pain in the ass. -We'll have to do something about that bastard. -l took care of him. What'd you bring? Some bread. Vinny, I got your peppers and onions. Salami, prosciutto, a lot of cheese. What else? -Scotch. -Nice. -Red wine. -Okay. -Now we can eat. -Some white, too. Beautiful. Okay, boys, let's eat. Come on, Johnny, Vinnie. Tomorrow we eat sandwiches. You got to go on a diet, Vinnie. Read 'em and weep. What are you doing? Alright, I'll catch you guys later. Yeah, you going for a walk in the park? I'll catch you next week. Thanks. -ls there any more? -Nope, that's it. Have a good weekend. Thanks Henry. You girls stay right here. -Hold hands. -Go right up front. What are you talking about? I saw her name on the register. Jesus Christ! You want her to visit you? Let her stay up all night crying and writing letters to the parole board. What am I doing here? Where am I? I'm in jail. I can't stop people from coming to see me. Let her sneak this stuff in for you every week. Let her fight these bastards every week! Look what you're doing! Stop it! I'm sorry. Let her sneak this shit in for you. Will you stop it? -Let her do it! -Stop it! Nobody's helping me. I am all alone. Belle and Morrie are broke. I asked your friend Remo for the money he owes you. He told me to take the kids down to the police station and get on welfare. Karen, lt's going to be okay. I've never seen Paulie since he got out. I never see anyone. That's what happens when you go away. We're on our own. Forget everybody else. Forget Paulie. As long as he's on parole he doesn't want anybody doing anything. -l can't do it. -Yes, you can. All I need is for you is to keep bringing me this stuff. I gotta guy in here from Pittsburgh who's gonna help me move it. In a month we're gonna be fine. We won't need anybody. I'm afraid. I'm afraid if Paulie finds out.... He is not helping us out. is he putting any food on the table? We've got to help each other. We got to be really, really careful while we do it. I don't want to hear a word about her anymore, Henry. Never. -Daddy! We missed you. -Are you here to stay? Did you see our pictures? I did the one with the house and rainbow. I did the sun. My chorus concert is in two weeks. Are you coming? Do you like the house? -Karen, get packed. We're moving out of here. -With what? Don't worry with what. Just start looking for a new house, ok. I got to go to Pittsburgh in the morning. Those guys up there owe me $15,000. We'll be alright. I got things lined up. Pittsburgh? You have to go see your parole officer tomorrow. Karen, don't worry about it. Everything's gonna be fine. Who wants to go to Uncle Paulie's? What do you want? Sweetheart, let Mommy eat. You look good. Did you eat this good in the joint? I don't want any more of that shit. -What shit are you talking about? -Just stay away from the garbage. I'm not talking about what you did inside, you did what you had to do. I'm talking about now. From here and now. -Why would I get into that? -Don't make a jerk out of me. Just don't do it. Don't do it. I want to talk about Jimmy. Watch out for him. He's a good earner, but he takes too many chances. I wouldn't take chances like Jimmy. Tommy's a good kid, but he's crazy. He's a cowboy. He's got too much to prove. -You got to watch out for them. -l only use them for certain things. I ain't going to get fucked like Gribbs. Gribbs is 70 years old and he'll die in prison. I don't need that. So I'm warning everybody. Could be my son, could be anybody. Gribbs got 20 years just for saying hello to some fuck who was selling junk. That won't happen to me, understand? You're out early because I got you a job. I don't need this heat. You see anybody fuckin' around with this shit you're gonna tell me, right? . That means anybody. -All right. -Yeah? Yeah. Of course. It took me about a week of sneaking around before I could unload the Pittsburgh stuff. But when I did, it was a real score. I started using Sandy's place to mix the stuff. And even with Sandy snorting more than she mixed, I could see that this was a really good business. I made $12,000 in my second week. I had a down payment on my house and things were really rolling. All I had to do was every once in a while was tell Sandy that I loved her. But it was perfect. I'm tellin' ya... As long as I kept getting the stuff from Pittsburgh, I knew Paulie would never find out. Within a couple of weeks it got so big... I needed some help. So I got Jimmy and Tommy to come in with me. Nice... It's fuckin' great. -Nice... Mr. Conway? ! You bring your pay slips? Four and a half months of dirt. -lt's so good. -l did it. -Do you love it? -Oh, it's wonderful. This we just had to have made special. Go ahead, sit in it, Belle. The others you couldn't even sit in. Okay, you ready? Watch the wall with the rock. The electricians did it special. Come on... This was imported. lt came in two pieces. Do you believe what they can do? -Nice, huh? -Come here. Did you and Jimmy talk? Yeah, I talked to him... He's looking into everything. This'll make the Air France hold up look like Goddamned peanuts, man. Come on. -It's ok... He's gonna do it, right? -l told you. He's looking into it. We'll see what happens. No promises. Do you understand? There's millions in there. And I've been bleeding for this. I've been cultivating this son of a bitch for two years. He owes me 20 grand. Once in a lifetime. I could retire. No more nut every week. No more bullshit. My dream comes true. Morrie Let's get a drink. And these are the guys Jimmy put together for what turned out to be the biggest heist in American history. The Lufthansa heist. Tommy and Carbone were gonna grab the outside guard and make him get us in the front door. Frenchy and Joe Buddha had to round up the workers. Johnny Roastbeef had to keep them all tied up and away from the alarms. Even Stacks Edwards got in on it. He used hang around the Lounge and play guitar. Everybody loved Stacks. He was supposed to do was steal the panel truck and afterwards compact it by a friend of ours out in Jersey. Only Morrie was driving us nuts. Morrie... Have a drink and shut up. Just because he set this up he felt he could bust Jimmies balls for an advance on the money we were going to steal. He didn't mean anything by it. That's just the way he was. I had everybody working for me. Even our old baby-sitter, Lois Byrd. D'ya have a good flight? I hate Pittsburgh. Where'd you find such creeps? They're not that bad. And it's worth it, isn't it? is this the same baby you used last week? No, that one was my sister's. This is Deirdra's. Big yawn. She looks just like you, Lois. That's what the stewardess said. -Yeah... Take it easy, Sandy. Come on, Henry... Give me a break. You got enough here to go around. You got all day. Just make it last, all right? Take it easy. -l got to go. -Where are you going? Don't start. You know I got to go do this thing. Where are my keys? Over there. It's a mess. lt's like a pig pen. What do you think I got you the dishwasher for, huh? I hate doin' the dishes... Fucks with my nails. You gotta be smart. Look at all this powder around here. It's enough to put us away forever. Henry..stop. Loosen up. What are you doing? You don't have to go anywhere. Make them wait. Nobody knows for sure just how much was taken in the daring pre-dawn raid at the Lufthansa cargo terminal at Kennedy Airport. The FBI says $2,000,000, Port Authority Police say $4,000,000. The city park says $5,000,000 Those son-of-a-bitches! ...from the scene of the heist at JFK. It looks like a big one. Maybe the biggest this town has ever seen. Come here, you! Come here! Look at this genius. This genius! Merry Christmas, Jimmy! -Who's this? -That's my wife. Come here. I want to show you something, Jimmy. Isn't she gorgeous? I bought it for my wife. lt's a coupe. I love that car. What did I tell you? I talked to you before, didn't I? Didn't I say not to go buy anything for a while? The fucking car? It's a wedding gift from my mother. It's under her name. I just got married. -l love that car. -Excuse me for a second. -l just got married. -Are you nuts? -What am I getting excited for? -Are you stupid? We got a million fucking bulls out there. Everyone's watching us. It's under my mother's name. It's a wedding gift. I don't give a fuck. Didn't you hear what I said? Don't buy anything. Don't get anything. What's the matter with you? What am I getting excited about? Because you're going to get us all fuckin' pinched, that's why. What are you, stupid? -What's the matter with you? -l apologize. -l'm sorry. -What the fuck is the matter with you? I'm sorry, Jimmy. It's under my mother's name. What'd you say? You being a fuckin' wise guy with me? -l'm sorry. I apologize. -What did I tell you? What did I tell you? You don't buy anything, you hear me? You don't buy anything! I'm sorry, Jimmy. The fat fuck. He oughtta wear a sign. I can't believe this... Are you stupid, or what? Excuse me. -Take it off. -Why? Take it off! Take it off! Didn't I tell you not to get anything big or attract attention? One guy gets a Caddy and one gets a $20,000 mink. I'll return it. Bring it back where you got it. Get it out of here. Understand? Get it out of here! This drink here is better than sex, babe. I'm going to see Stacks. Don't you look at anybody. You look straight ahead or I'll fuckin' kill you. He's so jealous. lf l even look at anyone else, he'll kill me. That's great. I tell them all not to attract attention. What do they do? I've been looking all over for you. Listen, I need the money. -Morrie, relax, okay? It's Christmas. -l need the money. I'm relaxing. I need the money. -l did what I had to do. I need the money. -Not tonight, Morrie. Listen, I did my caper. He owes me. Everyone's flashing that stuff here. Evidently they got their money. I'm wearing the same old shit. They're wearing it. I gotta go talk to him. Jimmy? Jimmy? I got 500 grand coming to me. The biggest fuckin' bundle he ever made in his life. I'll go talk to him. Go have a drink. -l'll talk to him. -lt's poison in my eyes. -Morris, baby, are you all right? -No, I'm not. Jimmy? Christmas. Your share. Just a little taste. Ha ha... Jimmy. We did it! We did it! We did it! Hey, Jimmy? -Yeah? Jimmy? -Yeah, yeah. Who is it? -lt's me. Pete? One second. Don't do what Frankie and Johnny did. Don't be a moron with the money. Do what's right, ya understand? -Yeah. Of course. Karen, Judy, Ruth, come here! I got the most expensive tree they had. -What do you think, Mommy? -l love them all. I love the gold outfit. -Merry Christmas. -Thank you. And? And? Happy Hanukkah. -Very funny. -Go get yourself something nice, ok? Lufthansa should have been our ultimate score. The heist of a lifetime. Six million in cash. More than enough to go around. Yo, Stacks! Open up! What the fuck are you doin' in there? What is it with you, huh? Ah, this fuckin' guy ain't ready. I knew you weren't gonna be ready. -You didn't bring coffee? -What do I look like, a fuckin' caterer? Frankie will make coffee. Make coffee. Thought you'd have one of your bitches in here. Yeah, I did. Where the fuck is she? Always got these hot books around though, or a bitch, or somethin'. What time is it? -lt's 11:30. We were supposed to be there by 9:00. -l'll be ready in just a minute. Yeah, you're always fucking late. You'd be late for your own fuckin' funeral. What the fuck you looking at? Come on, make that coffee to go. Let's go. What the fuck you doing? It's a joke. A joke. Put the fucking pot down. Ya gonna take the coffee? Stacks was always crazy. Instead of getting rid of the truck like he was supposed to, he got stoned went to his girlfriend's, and by the time he woke up, the cops had found the truck. It was all over the television. They even said they came up with prints off the wheel. It was just a matter of time before they got to Stacks. I gotta talk to you. -Have a drink. -Come on. Have a drink. Have a drink. What are you doing? It's an occasion. Have a drink. I still gotta talk to you. What? What? What? What? -What happened with Stacks? Is everything ok? -Don't worry about that. -There's feds all over the place. -So what? Where are they going to go? -lt's in the papers. -He's worried. What are you worried about? The television and the newspapers. All the shit's out there. -What are you worried about? -You worry too much. Everything is beautiful. There's nothin' to worry about. Didn't you tell him? Not yet. -What? -Guess what? They're going to make him. Paulie's going to make you? Tommy! They opened up the books. Paulie got the okay. Can you believe that? This little Guinea bastard. He's getting made. We'll work for this guy one day. He's gonna be a boss. I can't believe it. I'm really happy for you. That's great. Congratulations. Motherfuckers, we got them now. Jimmy, I've been looking all over for you, baby. Jimmy, can I talk to you for a second? I mastermind the Goddamned thing, I'm left with dick. They'd be up a creek without a paddle if not for me. Fuck him! I want my money. Henry, I want my fuckin' money! I've had it up to here! That cheap cigarette hijacking Mick. -No, fuck him! I want my money! -Good. Go tell him. Are you gonna keep your mouth shut, or what? Huh? Morrie, you're gonna get your money. You just got to stop busting balls. Look at me. You hear me? Look at me. Ok? Everything's gonna be fine. ♪ "Oh, Henry boy, the pipes, ♪ ♪ the pipes are calling" ♪ You sweetheart half Mick, half Guinea? I'll sing with an Italian accent. ♪ "And down the glen, ♪ ♪ the glen and down the mountainside ♪ ♪ "The summer's gone ♪ ♪ "And all the roses dying" ♪ ♪ It's gettin' near dark... ♪ I could see for the first time that Jimmy was a nervous wreck. His mind was going in eight different directions at once. Think Morrie tells his wife everything? Morrie? Him? That's when I knew Jimmy was going to whack Morrie. That's how it happens. That's how fast it takes for a guy to get whacked. He's a nut job. He talks to everybody. He's always acting like a jerk. Nobody listens to what he says. Nobody cares what he says, he talks so much. Make sure you bring him here tonight. -Okay? -All right. Start like this. Sorry. Did I get you in the eye? Stop breaking my balls, alright? . I was just stalling for time. I knew I had 'til eight or nine o'clock to talk Jimmy out of killing Morrie. But meanwhile, as far as Jimmy knew, I was going along with the program. I pulled out his hair. I bit him. He's out fuckin' cold. I'm enraged. I wanted to kill this little fuck. I walk away. We start to go in the fuckin' joint. I don't want to turn around. Jimmy's going like this to me. I don't want to fuckin' turn around. I don't want to turn around. He picks up his fucking head, he says, "Ah...." I said, "Don't say it! " "Jerkoff! " What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? I fucking fly at him! I got him and I'm banging his head, biting his fuckin' face. I'm pulling his hair out of his head. I beat him to a fuckin' pulp. To a fuckin' pulp, I tells ya. He's laying there full of fucking blood. I'm out of breath. Forget about tonight. Forget about it. It was like a load off my mind. Poor bastard. He never knew how close he'd come to getting killed. Even if I had told him he would have never believed me. -Jimmy, could I talk to you now? -You're a pisser. A real pisser. You wanna talk now? Okay, let's talk. Let's get it over with. Swear to God, I've never met a ball buster like you my whole life. Who loves you more than I do, huh? -l'd do anything for you. -Except stop busting my balls. -Let's go have coffee. -Want to go to the diner, or what? We'll go to the diner over there on the boulevard. -Which diner? -Rockaway Boulevard. lt's open 24 hours. -They got danishes there? -Yeah, they got everything. Let's pick up some danishes for Belle. You hear about the points we were shaving up in Boston? It's terrific. Nunzio up in-- I thought he'd never shut the fuck up. I know. Pain in the ass. -Whatta you wanna do with him? -Chop him up and get rid of the car. Call me when you get through. -Frank, let's chop him up. -All right. -Where you going, you dizzy motherfucker, you? -I thought you said chop him up. Up at Charlie's, not here! Come on, what are you doing? Get the fuck out of here. I got a better shot letting him fuckin' drive. What are you waitin' for? The car's cold. Get the fuck out of here! What, warm it up? Get out of here! -Who is it? -lt's Belle. Open up. It's Belle. Let me in. Morris didn't come home. He's missing. I know something's happened. Calm down. He's missing! I know something happened. He's probably drunk and fell asleep somewhere. In 27 years he's never been away all night without calling. I know something's happened. I know you know. Let me get changed. I'll take you home then look for him. I've been home! I've been on the phone-- -So what the fuck you want me to tell Belle? -Who gives a fuck? Tell her he ran off with some broad. What do you care about her? -Watch this. -Don't fuck with them. I do it all the time. I'll bust their fuckin' balls. Don't give them the satisfaction, the fucks. Come on, fuckos. Let's go for a ride. Keep them up all night. I'll see you later. Jimmy was cutting every link between himself and the robbery but it had nothing to do with me. I gave Jimmy the tip and he gave me some Christmas money. From then on, I kept my mouth shut. I knew Jimmy. He had the cash. It was his. I knew he kicked some money upstairs to Paulie, but that was it. It made him sick to hafta turn the money over to the guys who stole it. He'd rather whack them. Anyway, what did I care? I wasn't asking for anything. And besides, Jimmy was making nice money through my Pittsburgh connections. Still, months after the robbery they were finding bodies all over. When they found Carbone in the meat truck, he was frozen so stiff it took them two days to thaw him out for the autopsy. Still, I never saw Jimmy so happy. He was like a kid. We had money coming in through my Pittsburgh people and even after a while, the Lufthansa thing began to calm down. But the thing that made Jimmy so happy that morning was that this was the day that Tommy was being made. Jimmy was so excited, you'd think he was being made. He must have made four calls to Tommy's house. They had a signal all set up so he'd know that the minute that the ceremony was over. -Ma, where are you? -Here I am. -You're home. -Home? I'm leaving. -You look lovely. -l look good, huh? You look wonderful. Be careful. Congratulations. I love you. Don't paint any more religious pictures, please. God be with you. We always called each other goodfellas. You'd say to somebody: "You'll like this guy. He's all right. He's a goodfella, he's one of us. " You understand? We were goodfellas. Wiseguys. But Jimmy and I could never be made because we had Irish blood. It didn't even matter that my mother was Sicilian. To become a member of a crew you've got to be 100 percent Italian so they can trace all your relatives back to the old country. See, it's the highest honor they can give you. It means you belong to a family and a crew. It means nobody can fuck around with you. It also means you can fuck around with anybody, just as long as they aren't also a member. It's like a license to steal. It's a license to do anything. Hey, how many years ago was it you was made? Ah, I'm an old-timer. Thirty years ago. 30 years, huh? Brings back a lot of memories. Pike's Peak was a fuckin' pimple then, wasn't it? As far as Jimmy was concerned, with Tommy being made it was like we were all being made. We would now have one of our own as a member. -Who's this? -This is Vinnie. What happened? Did we get straightened out? We had a problem. We tried to do everything we could. You know what I mean. He's gone, and we couldn't do nothing about it. What do you mean? He's gone. He's gone. And that's it. I knew it! I can't fuckin' believe it. -They fucking whacked him. -Fuck. Are you all right? It was revenge for Billy Batts, and a lot of other things. And that's that. And there was nothing that we could do about it. Batts was a made man and Tommy wasn't. We had to sit still and take it. It was among the Italians. It was real greaseball shit. They even shot Tommy in the face so his mother couldn't give him an open-coffin at the funeral. I was gonna be busy all day. I had to drop off some guns at Jimmy's to match some silencers he had gotten. I had to pick up my brother at the hospital and pick up some stuff for Lois to fly down to some customers I had near Atlanta. Right away I knew he didn't want them and I'd be stuck for the money. I only bought the damn guns because he wanted them and now he didn't want them. What the fuck good are these things? None of them fit. I'm not paying for it! I didn't say a thing. Jimmy was so pissed off, he didn't even say good-bye. Stop with those fuckin' drugs. They're making your mind into mush! Ya hear me? I'll take 'em back. I knew my Pittsburgh guys always wanted guns. And since I was going to see them later in the afternoon, to pick up a delivery I was pretty sure I'd get my money back. Oh, my God. When I finally got there at the hospital to pick up Michael, his doctor wanted to put me in bed. Jesus Christ! What happened to you? I almost got into an accident driving' over here. And I said I was partying all night. No, I'm fine, doc. Get over here. Let me check you out. He took mercy on me, gave me Valium and sent me home. Now, my plan was to drop off my brother at the house and pick up Karen. There it is. You see that helicopter right there? Right in front of us there. I think it's been following me all morning. -Get the fuck out. Are you nuts? -l'm telling you. It's the third time I've seen it. At the hospital I saw it. I had to make some stops. I've seen it every time. I've been all over town and I've seen it all day. I was cooking dinner that night. I had to start braising the beef and veal shanks for the tomato sauce. It was Michael's favorite. I was making ziti with gravy roasted peppers string beans with olive oil. I had some beautiful cutlets that were cut just right that I was going to fry up as an appetizer. So I was home for about an hour. My plan was to start dinner early so I could unload the guns Jimmy didn't want. Then get the package for Lois to take to Atlanta later that night. I kept looking out the window and saw that the helicopter was gone. Michael, keep an eye on the sauce. Stay here with your Uncle Michael. I asked my brother to watch the sauce, and Karen and I started out. Oh, God. I see it. -Look, it's right there. -Damn! Yep, that's it. We gotta get to your mother's. See, I told you. It's funny. -lt's not the end of the world. -We're going to your mother's. Tell your mother not to touch anything outside of the house. Nothing. Couldn'tve gone to your mother's house? You had to come here. ♪ "Everything's gonna be all right ♪ ♪ this morning" ♪ Let's go shopping. No, I'm not nuts, this things been following me all fuckin' morning! I'm tellin' ya. Alright. He thinks I'm paranoid! I should bring him the fuckin' helicopter, then we'll see how paranoid I am. Come on, let's go inside. Yeah, it's gone. -l don't hear anything. -Let's go back to your mother's. -They all right? -They're great. Didn't I say you were paranoid? Didn't I tell him? Yeah. I need a hit. Want to see helicopters? Come on, I'll show you helicopters. I've seen enough helicopters for one day, thank you. I had to get home and get the package ready for Lois to take on her trip. Also, I had to get to Sandy's to give the package a whack with quinine. Plus, I knew Sandy would get on my ass. I had the cooking to finish, and I had to get Lois ready for her trip. -lt's Sandy. What the fuck is this? -She's a pain in the ass. -When are you coming over? -ln an hour. -You staying tonight, right? -l can't. I got my brother tonight. Come on, stop. Stop. We'll talk about it later, okay? Good-bye. -Hello? -It's me. You ready? Tell Michael not to let the sauce stick. -Henry says don't let the sauce stick. -l'm stirring it. -Listen, you know what to do? -Yeah, yeah. Don't "yeah, yeah" me, Lois! This is important. Make sure you leave the house when you make the call. Understand me? Call from an outside line. I mean it! Jesus, you must think I'm dumb. I know what to do. Hey, you little hick, just make sure you do it! You're such a pain. -Hey! Just do it! -Okay. Un-fucking-believable. All of them. Every fucking girl in my life. -What'd he say? -Nothing. So what does she do after she hangs up with me? After everything I told her? After all her "yeah, yeah" bullshit? She calls from the house. If anyone was listening they'd know everything. They'd know a package was leaving my house and they'd have the flight number. As soon as I got home, I started cooking. I had a few hours until Lois' flight. I told my brother to watch on the stove. All day long the poor guy's been watching helicopters and tomato sauce. I had to drive over to Sandy's, mix the stuff, then get back to the gravy. Do you think you can come over, fuck me, then leave? -Got someplace better to go? -Don't talk like that. Come on. -You all right? -Yeah. You believe me? Do you believe me? -That's the last one? -Yeah. You lying son of a bitch! I hate you! Please stop feeding the dog from the table from the plate on top of it. Stop it. -l have to. -You don't have to. I gotta go home. What do you mean you got to go home? We gotta start taping it to your leg. We got to go soon. I gotta go home and get my hat. Forget your fucking hat! Are you kidding me? I need a trip to Rockaway because you want your hat? I got to have it. lt's my lucky hat. I never fly without it. Do you understand what we are involved in? I don't care. I need my hat. I won't fly without it. What could I do if she insisted I drive her home for her Goddamn hat? I hid the package in the kitchen and I went to take her home. A hat? What the fuck is this? Police! Freeze! Don't move, motherfucker! I'll blow your brains out! Shut the car off slowly! For a second I thought I was dead, but when I heard all the noise I knew they were cops. Only cops talk that way. Don't fucking move. If they had been wiseguys, I wouldn't have heard a thing. I would have been dead. Michael! Lock the door! Talk to me. When was the last time you took a collar? Hey fuckhead, I'm talking to you. You don't want to say a fucking word, don't. I don't give a fuck. 25 years, pal, that's what you're gonna do. See how much of a good guy you'll be then. All day I thought the guys in the helicopter were just local cops busting my balls over Lufthansa. They turned out to be narcs. Just get the lawyer. They'd been on me a month. Phone taps, surveillance, everything. You know the boys. All the pals are here. You don't want to talk to me, you'll have a fucking problem all night. Each one of these counts holds 25-to-life in New York State. 25 fucking years, pal. I'll slap your fucking head inside out. What, were you guys grocery shopping? Are we going to make a cake? You going to make a fucking cake? You got anything good in there? is it good? Bye-bye, dickhead. See you in Attica, dick. I spoke to Jimmy. He offered to give me some money. He wants to know what's happening. He just wants to talk to you. Fuck Jimmy and his money! I told you, I gotta straighten out everything with Paulie or I'm dead. Then you're better off staying in here. They could whack me in here as easy as outside. They're afraid I'll rat them out. People are already walking away from me. I'm dead in here. You got to get me out. Karen finally got her mother to put her house up for my bail and I was out. I remember I had this feeling I was gonna get killed right outside the jail. I knew Paulie was still pissed at me and he's such a hothead. And I was worried about Jimmy. See, Jimmy knew if Paulie found out he was in the drug deals with me Paulie would have Jimmy whacked even before me. This is the bad time. I didn't feel safe until I got home. So, now my plan was to stay alive long enough to sell off the dope the cops never found, then disappear until things got straightened out. Fuck! Where's the stuff I left, Karen? I flushed it down the toilet. You what? What was I supposed to do? They were all over the house. Karen, that was worth $60,000! I need that money! That's all we got! They had a search warrant! That's all the money we had! I was depending on that! Why did you do that? I had to! They were going to find it! -They wouldn't have found it! -They would have! I swear! They would've found it! Why did you do that? -They would have found it. -Why did you do that? Oh, my God! -l had to do it. -Oh, my God! No! Paulie, I'm really sorry. I don't know what else to say. I know I fucked up. Yeah, you fucked up. But I'm all right now. I can be trusted now, Paulie. I'm clean. On my kids, I'm clean. You looked in my eyes and lied to me. You treated me like a fucking jerk. Like I was never nothing to you. Paulie, after what you said, I couldn't come to you. You know, I was ashamed. I'm ashamed now. But I got nowhere else to go, Paulie. You're all I got. And I really, really need your help. I really do. Take this. And now I've got to turn my back on you. Thirty-two hundred bucks. That's what he gave me. $3,200 for a lifetime. It wasn't even enough to pay for the coffin. -We got to get out. -I don't want to run. Am I supposed to pick up and leave everything? Go hiding? I don't want to do that, Henry. Is that what you want? Karen, lf we stay around here we're dead. You got it? We're dead. They're right. You took too much of that stuff. You're totally paranoid. How's he doing? He's okay. They sobered him up. Good. Glad to hear it. -You know what kind of questions they been asking him? -l don't know. I got my mind on so many other things. I got no money. The girls are old enough to read the newspapers. Tell him he's got to call me, ok? As soon as you talk to him, he's got to call me. lt's important. He doesn't know I came here to see you. It's like he's crazy. -Take this. lt's a couple thousand. -Thanks, Jimmy. Don't worry, everything will be all right. I got some beautiful Dior dresses. You want to have them? Pick out a few for yourself. -For my mom. -Yeah, whatever. Not here. ln the store on the corner. It's swag, so I got it down on the corner. Go ahead, sweetheart, I'll see you. -Thanks. -Don't worry. -l'll try. -He's got to call me. Over here? Right down there. It's over there, right on the corner. Yeah, it's over there. Right there. No! Go ahead! It's right in there! No, Jimmy! I'm in a hurry! My mom's watching the kids! I gotta get home! I'll come back later! What happened? Nothing. -What happened? -l just got scared. Got the keys? What happened, Karen? I just got scared, Henry. lt's okay. Are you all right? -Yeah. If you're part of a crew nobody ever tells you they're going to kill you. It doesn't happen that way. There aren't any arguments or curses like in the movies. So your murderers come with smiles. They come as your friends. The people who have cared for you all of your life. And they always seem to come when you're weakest and most in need of their help. So I met Jimmy in a crowded place we both knew. I got there 15 minutes early and Jimmy was already there. He took the booth near the window so he could see everyone who drove up. He wanted to make sure I wasn't tailed. He was jumpy. He hadn't touched a thing. On the surface, everything was supposed to be fine. We were supposed to be discussing my case. But I had a feeling Jimmy was trying to sense if I'd rat him out to save my neck. I been telling you your whole life, don't talk on the fuckin' phone. Now you understand, huh? It's going to be okay. I think you got a good chance of beating the case. Well, you know that kid from the city we were talking about? You know? The kid turned out to be a rat. As soon as he got pinched, he ratted everybody out. I know where he is. He's hiding out. Know what I'm sayin'? Would you have a problem going with Anthony to take care of that? No, not at all. That way they got nothing, uh? Jimmy had never asked me to whack somebody before. But now he's asking me to go down to Florida and do a hit with Anthony. That's when I knew I would never have come back from Florida alive. Wherever you move me, I asked once and I'll tell you again I don't wanna go any place that's cold. You don't have a choice. Ed, come on. Whoever fucking controls it just no place cold. Do that for me. He's bronchial, that's why. If he's legitimately bronchial we may take that into consideration. I'd like to go someplace not cold. Can I ask you some questions? What about my parents? What about them? Am I going to see them? Am I going to talk to them? Don't I have some kind of contact with them? No. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You mean to tell me if something happens to my parents and they get sick, I can't see them? Maybe something could be worked out if they're sick. If there's extraordinary circumstances-- l can't do this. I can't do this, Henry. I can't leave my parents. Karen, I told you before. I'm not going to do this unless you and the kids come with me. I can't do it without you, ok? So you do whatever, but...that's it. -You need Henry, not me, right? -That's right. I don't care whether you go or not. If it'll make him a better witness, I want you with him. They don't want me. Henry'll be in the protection program. They can't get to him. They can only get to him by getting to you or your kids. If he goes into the program you're in danger. -l don't know anything. -Don't give me the babe-in-the-woods routine. I've listened to those wiretaps and I've heard you talk about cocaine. Conversation after conversation you talked to Henry on the phone. It doesn't matter. Whether he goes to jail or stays on the streets, he's a dead man. He knows it and you know it. What about the kids and school? I mean, what goes on? Go to Wall Street and get real crooks. Whoever sold you those suits had a sense of humor. What it comes down to is we're your only salvation. We'll save your life, his life, and we'll keep you out of jail. This morning you told the jury about your background. It was easy for us to disappear. My house was in my mother-in-law's name. My cars were registered to my wife. My Social Security cards and driver's licenses were phonies. I never voted or paid taxes. My birth certificate and arrest sheet were all that showed I was alive. -Do you see him here in this courtroom? -Yes. Will you please point him out for the jury? Let the record show that Mr. Hill identified the defendant, James Conway. Do you also know a man named Paul Cicero? -Do you see him in the courtroom? -Yes. Can you point him out for the jury? Let the record show Mr. Hill identified the defendant Paul Cicero. I have a document.... The hardest thing was leaving the life. I still loved the life. We were treated like movie stars with muscle. We had it all just for the asking. Our wives, mothers, kids, everybody rode along. I had paper bags filled with jewelry stashed in the kitchen. I had a sugar bowl full of coke next to the bed. People call them rats because they will do anything to survive. -Objection! -Objection sustained. -l know nothing about being a rat. -You know everything about it! Anything I wanted was a phone call away. Free cars. Keys to a dozen hideout flats all over the city. I'd bet 20 grand over a weekend then blow the winnings in a week or go to sharks to pay back the bookies. Didn't matter. It didn't mean anything. When I was broke I would go rob some more. We ran everything. We paid off cops. We paid off lawyers. We paid off judges. Everybody had their hands out. Everything was for the taking. And now it's all over. And that's the hardest part. Today everything is different. There's no action. I have to wait around like everyone else. Can't even get decent food. Right after I got here, I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I'm an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook. What the fuck is that? Jimmy? What's up? Did I hit something? What the fuck is that? Maybe you got a flat? No. What the fuck? You better pull over and see. He's still alive. You piece of shit! you motherfucker! Look at me! I always wanted to be a gangster. To me beinga gangsterwasbetterthan being president of the United States. Even before I went to the cabstand for an after-school job IknewIwantedtobe partofthem . it meant being somebody ina neighborhoodfullofnobodies. They weren't like anybody else. They did whatever they wanted. They double parked in front of hydrants and nobody ever gave him a ticket. In the summer when they played cards all night nobodyevercalledthe cops. Tony Stacks. How are you? Tuddy Cicero. Could this be the Canarsie Kid? Tuddy. Tuddy ran the cabstand and the Bella Vista Pizzeria who was the boss of the neighborhood. Paulie might have moved slow butitwasonlybecausePaulie didn't have to move for anybody. It's your fault. You started it! I started it? It's your fault. At first my parents loved that I found a job across the street from the house. was sent to work at the age of 11. He liked that I got myself a job. He always used to say that American kids were spoiled lazy. Henry! Watch how you cross! Bring back milk! My mother was happy after she found out the Ciceros camefromthesamepart ofSicily as she did. To my mother thatwastheanswertoallherprayers . I was the luckiest kid in the world. do anything. and everybody knew me. Wiseguys would pull up and Tuddy would let me park their Cadillacs. I can't even see over the steering wheel andI 'mparkingCadillacs. it wasn't too long beforemyparentschanged their minds about my job at the cabstand. it was supposed to be a part-time job. But for me itwasdefinitelyfulltime . That's all I wanted to do. but I was part of something. I belonged. I was treated like a grown-up. Tell him 519. Every day I was learning to score. a dollar there. I was living in a fantasy. Did you have a good day at school? My father was always pissed off. he was pissed that my kid brother Michael wasinawheelchair. He was pissed that there were seven of us living in such a tiny house. Tell me what's this. It's a letter from school. It says you haven't been there in months. In months! You're a bum! Want to grow up to be a bum? he was mostly pissed because I hung around the cabstand. He knew what went on there. I didn't care. The way I saw it everybodytakesabeatingsometime. I can't make any more deliveries. What? You'll fuck everything up. My dad says he'll kill me. Look. Come with me. Is that him there? No. How about him? No. That's the guy Get him. Excuse me. you piece of shit. Know this kid? Yeah. Know where he lives? Yeah. You deliver mail to his house? Yeah. any letter from school to his house comes directly here. You understand? Another letter from school goes to that kid's house head first. That was it. No more letters from truant officers. No letters from school. no more letters from anybody. my mother had to go to the post office to complain. How could I go to school after that andpledgeallegianceand sit through good government bullshit? Paulie hated phones. He wouldn't have one in his house. Mickey called. Want me to call him back? make the call. He got all his calls second hand. Then you'd have to call the people back from outside phone. Got a nickel? Get him on the phone. was take care of Paulie's calls. For a guy who moved all day long Pauliedidn'ttalktosixpeople. With union problems ora beefin thenumbers onlythetopguysspoke with Paulie about the problem. Everything was one-on-one. Paulie hated conferences. He didn't want anybody hearing what he said oranyonelisteningto what he was being told. and he got a piece of everything they made. except they were doing it in America. All they got from Paulie was protection from the guys trying to rip them off. That's what it's all about. That's what the FBI could never understand. What Paulie and the Organization does isprotectpeoplewho can 't go to the cops. That's it. They're like the police department for wiseguys. and they knew I was with somebody. I didn't have to wait in line at the bakery on Sunday morning for fresh bread. and no matter how many people were waiting Iwastakencareoffirst . even though we had no car. At 13 Iwasmakingmoremoneythanmost of the grown-ups in the neighborhood. I had it all. One day some neighborhood kids carried my mother's groceries all the way home. You know why? It was out of respect. What do you think? Aren't my shoes great? You look like a gangster. They shot me. Help! shut the door. That was the first time I had ever seen anyone shot. Can't have that in here. Jesus Christ! I can't have that in this joint. but also feelingmaybeTuddywas right. I knew Paulie didn't want anyone dying in the building. You're a real jerk. You wasted eight fucking aprons on this guy. What's wrong with you? I got to toughen this kid up. It was a glorious time. And wiseguys were all over the place. It was before Apalachin and before Crazy Joe decidedtotakeon a boss and start a war. It was when I met the world. And it was when I first met Jimmy Conway. but he was already a legend. He'd walk in the door and everybody who worked the room just went wild. He'd give a doorman $100 just for opening the door. He'd give hundreds to the dealers and the guys who ran the games. The bartender got $100 just for keeping the ice cubes cold. The Irishman is here to take you Guineas' money. Want a drink? Give me a Seven and Seven. I'd like you to meet the kid Henry. How you doin'? Thank you. Keep them coming. Jimmy was one of the most feared guys in the city. and doing hits for mob bosses at 16. Hits never bothered Jimmy. It was business. But what Jimmy really loved to do what he really loved to do was steal. He actually enjoyed it. Jimmy was the kind of guy who rooted for the bad guys in movies. Give me your wallet. but we know who you are. He was one of the city's biggest hijackers shrimp and lobsters. Shrimp and lobsters were best. They went fast. no problem. They called him Jimmy the Gent. Help the lady. Drivers loved him. They used to tip him off everybody got a piece. I'll be back for the rest later. come here. Say hello to Tommy. okay? Help him. Go ahead. you got anything good? what did he do? He made them partners. but who'd listen? What do you need? Two Luckys. Henry. Thanks a lot. What do you need? One Pall Mall. What are you doing? It's all right. Says who? Your mother? How many Pall Malls you need? Where'd you get the cigarettes? Get him out of here. It's okay. It's not okay! You don't understand. You don't understand. Store's closed. Henry got pinched. Where? By the factory. Henry Hill. The People of the State of New York vs. Henry Hill. Docket #704162. sir. That's me. Just stand there. Now stay there. proceed. Congratulations. Here's your graduation present. but you did it right. You told them nothing. I thought you'd be mad. I'm proud of you. You took your first pinch like a man and learned the two greatest things in life. Look at me. Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut. Here he is! You broke your cherry! Congratulations! there was 30 billion a year in cargo and we tried to steal every bit of it. we grew up near the airport. It belonged to Paulie. We had friends and relatives who worked all over it. They would tip us off about what was coming in and moving out. If any truckers or airlines gave us trouble Paulie'sunionpeoplescaredthem with a strike. It was beautiful. It was a bigger moneymaker than numbers and Jimmy was in charge. we'd rob the airport. it was better than Citibank. You got a phone? Come on! Two niggers just stole my truck. Can you fucking believe that shit? There was Jimmy and Tommy andme. And there was Anthony Stabile. Frankie Carbone. Fat Andy. Frankie the Wop andFreddyNo Nose. who was Sally Balls' brother. Then you had Nickey Eyes andMikeyFranzese. nicknamed because he said everything twice. get the papers. not coats. Suits are up on Thursday. But it's the middle of summer. What'll I do with fur coats? You don't want furs? I'll take them away. I want them. We'll hang them in the freezer with the meat. to live any other way was nuts. those goody-good people who worked shitty jobs for bum paychecks were dead. They were suckers. They had no balls. we just took it. they got hit so bad they never complained again. It was all just routine. You didn't even think about it. what the fuck does 520 have to do with 469? 520 ain't even close to 469. What's that got to do with anything? Piece of cake. Don't worry about the alarms. I just got to get a key. No problems? I'll take care of it. Tell him what you were telling me. Too good to be true. Big score coming from Air France. Bags of money coming in. Americans change their money over into French money and send it back here. Calm down. It's beautiful. totally untraceable. but I got a plan. he's a piece of work. all cash. The best time is probably over a weekend. So maybe Saturday night. There's a Jewish holiday Monday. They won't find out until Tuesday. Beautiful. What about the security? Security? You're looking at it. It's a joke. I'm the midnight-to-eight man. He just comes in like he's picking up lost baggage. It's beautiful. It won't be a problem at all. Good. We're on. What's really funny is that fucking bank job in Secaucus. I'm in the weeds lying down. Resting. Here? This ain't no beach or park." "I'm resting!" I said. this and that. My usual. Nothing. you'll tell me something today. go fuck your mother. Anthony. My head was out like this. I'm coming around and who do I see in front of me? "What do you want to tell me now? What are you doing here? I said to go fuck your mother. I thought he'd shit. The fuckers. I wish I was big just once. Funny. You're really funny. I'm funny? you know. It's a good story. You're a funny guy. You mean the way I talk? What? you know. You're just funny. the way you tell the story. Funny how? What's funny about it? you got it all wrong. Anthony how? you know. You're funny. Let me understand this. Maybe I'm a little fucked up. how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fucking amuse you? funny? How am I funny? how you tell a story. I don't know. You said it. You said I'm funny. How am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me what's funny! Tommy. Motherfucker! I almost had him! you! was he shaking? Henry. You may fold under questioning! What's with you? I thought I was getting pinched already. He's on my neck like a vulture. What do you want? This guy didn't want to give you the check. Could you take care of this? No problem. Tell him to put it on my tab. That's what I want to talk to you about. It ain't just this one. It's seven big ones you owe me. that ain't peanuts. I don't mean to be out of order Sonny. like I'm a deadbeat. You're a mutt. You know the money we spend in this fucking Don't be like that. Like what? Do you believe this prick? You think this is funny? What the fuck are you looking at? You fucking moron! You don't want to bring the check? Do you believe this prick? too. You're a funny guy. Henry! You want to laugh? This prick asked me to christen his kid. 000. You really are a funny guy. I'm worried. I'm hearing bad things. He treats me like I'm a fucking fag. I got to go on the lam to get away from this guy. This ain't right. I can't go here or there. I talk to them a million times. They don't listen. he'll stop. I'll wind up being declared M.I.A. They'll find me in a car in the weeds. You've known this Tommy all your life. This cocksucker's an arch criminal. When I leave my house in the morning I look over both shoulders. This is no way to live. I'm no fence jumper. I'll do it. What could I do? I would. I'd like to help you out. Tell him what we talked about. take a piece of this joint. It'd be good. What are you talking about? You mean the restaurant? It's a classy place. You've been in here a million times. Tommy taking over this joint is like putting a silk hat on a pig. but that's the way it is. I'm begging you. What can I say? What am I going to do? What does he want from me? I don't know anything about the restaurant business. All I know is how to sit down and order a meal. Not for you. Just a place to hang. The chef is great. The shows are good. There's a lot of whores coming in. What do you want from me? Tommy's a bad seed. What am I supposed to do? Shoot him? That wouldn't be a bad idea. I'm sorry I said that. I didn't mean it. It's just that he's scaring me. please. Know anything about the restaurant business? He knows everything. He's there day and night. he could be a stool. You want me to be your partner? Is that what you're telling me? please. It's not even fair. You don't understand. You run the joint. Maybe I'll try to help you. Paulie. You've always been fair with me. he goes to Paulie. he goes to Paulie. Tommy hecallsPaulie. But now he has to pay Paulie everyweekno matterwhat. pay me. " pay me. " Paulie could do anything. Like run up bills on the joint's credit. And why not? Nobody will pay for it anyway. Take deliveries at the front door and sell it out the back at a discount. Take a $200 case of booze and sell it for $100. It doesn't matter. It's all profit. when there's nothing left whenyoucan'tborrow another buck from the bank youbustthejointout. You light a match. Do you need help reaching anything? You look like you're decorating a Christmas tree. She's from the Five Towns. Who? The Jew broad. Diane. I been trying to bang her for a month. She won't go out with me alone. what? what? Who asked you anything? Wait to hear what I'm going to say. what? She won't go out with Italians alone. She's prejudiced against Italians. You fucking believe that? In this day and age? What is this world coming to? prejudiced against Italians. She won't go out without her girlfriend. So you come along for her friend. See? I knew it. I knew it. What the fuck is wrong with that? When is it? Tomorrow night. I'm meeting Tuddy. You could meet Tuddy. Come early and then go. Why do you always do this? Don't give me that shit. What did I ask you for? A favor. I do a lot of fucking favors for you. I'm trying to bang this broad. Help me out. I don't understand you. She's beautiful! Her family lives in the Five Towns. These Jews got money. Maybe the family owns the whole block. You may wind up with a big score. You with your fucking mouth! I had a meeting with Tuddy at 11:00 and here I am a backup guy for Tommy. Did you have enough to eat? It was delicious. I'm just watching my diet. Let me watch your figure. I couldn't wait to go. I was ordering dessert when they were eating dinner. I was asking for the check. Have some coffee. It'll wake you up. can we have the check? What are you doing? I got to go. We just got here. I got that thing. We'll leave together. one at a time. I couldn't stand him. I thought he was really obnoxious. He kept fidgeting around. do you? That's very annoying. but it'd look funny on my table. Ready? Lighten up. We just got here. What are you doing? he was pushing me into the car thenpullingme out. Itwasridiculous. Diane and Tommy made us promise to meet them again on Friday. We agreed. Henry stood me up. I feel terrible. I don't know where he is. He really liked you. All he did was talk about her. We were a trio instead of a double date. He should have called. I hope it's nothing serious. But I made Tommy take me looking for him. what the fuck? You got some nerve standing me up. Nobody does that to me. Frankie Valli or some big shot? I forgot. I thought it was next week. so you're a liar! We can talk about this. Talk to you after what you just did to me? Forget it. I thought you would stand me up. You looked bored. You didn't say anything. Let me make it up to you. I'll think about it. she was screaming on the street and I mean loud. But she looked good. I'll think about it. Hill. A lot. She had these great eyes just like Liz Taylor's. Henry. Ready? Yeah. Come on. Wait a minute. What? You have to cover that cross. My mother sees that Mom. Henry Hill. My daughter says you're half Jewish. Hey no, no. Dont talk to me, madam! Why? - I have stolen and sold all.. ..thejeweIIery of little miss. What nonsense are you talking about? Hey no, I am telling the truth. I am telling the truth. I am a thief. Athief! And why are you talking to me? You should hit me. Hit me. - Krishna! Madam, I didnt feel bad.. ..when Vicky brother slapped me. I even endured when sister-in-Iaw Naina called me.. ..a dog.. a dog that but today.. ..today when sir slapped me, it didnt hurt me here.. ..it hurt me here, here. What, he slapped you? -Yes! He not only slapped me, he has.. ..so asked me to leave the house! Now even I wont stay here, I am going. And listen madam, forgive me if.. ..unknowingly I have hurt yourfeeIings. What is this that I am hearing? You raised your hand on Krishna? You told him to get out of the house? What do you think can our Krishna steal? Even if God comes down and testifies.. ..against him then too I wont believe it. How did you believe it? Who is the fool who believes that Krishna has stolen anything? Then.. then why did you do this? Its very simple, Janki. Try and understand. I can tolerate anything but when someone.. ..tells Krishna anything it pierces in me like an arrow . Today that arrow pierced my heart when.. ..those people called him a thief. I have controlled my injured hurt with great difficulty. I have raised this hand with great difficulty to hit him. I told him to get out of this house with great difficulty. But.. butjust think.. where will he go? The world is very big, Janki. He can go anywhere. And.. after a few bumps he will also learn to get steady. No, I wont let him drift like that. No Janki, you still dont know my brothers. You didnt think that after I die.. - No. Dont say that. -Yes, Janki. You didnt think what they will do.. ..to that poorthing after I die. He.. he cant stay in this house and understand that.. ..because he has a clean heart. But why send him like this even if we want to? He wont understand any otherway, Janki. And he will never be able to leave us and go. Sir.. bless me with the hands you beat me. Okay madam, atleast you bless me! I understood. I understood that all my ties with this house are severed Its very simple, sir. But Krishna understood it today.. ..that the poor persons destiny can get generous.. ..for sometime but cannot improve forever. Excuse me, sir.. -Get aside. Mister, listen to me.. - Hey go away, go away. Its a strange city. No one listens here. Mister, where can I get a place to stay here? What? -A home? Whats so funny? Hey fool, who gave you a ticket to Mumbai? I have come without a ticket. I didnt have the money to buy the ticket. Then listen, when I came to Mumbai.. ..even I had asked the same question. Can I get a place to stay somewhere? Its been 20 years I still didnt get a reply. I amjust standing like this on one leg. You didnt understand, right? Does this city belong to yourfather? Why dont you think before taking.. ..your bags and baggage and coming here? Enough. Enough. Hey.. hey my.. My trunk! Who took away my trunk? Where is my trunk? Even you will vanish like the trunk, mister! Go away, go away, go back. Look mister, I will tell you something worth.. ..10 lakhs forfree. Got it? Every person gets three things.. ..very difficultly in this Mumbai city. Got it? Look there. Food, clothes and settler. Thief. Oh no! .. Thief. Thief. Thief. Mister, catch him! Hey where are you running with my trunk! My trunk! Boss! Boss! -What is it? Why are you screaming so much? Boss, look at this. That.. He is my man, what is it? Mister.. mister, that trunk belongs to me. He.. he stole it from the station. It has my name on it. Krishna. Hey smarty, what if it has your name on it? If you write your name of this colony.. ..then will this colony belong to you? Look mister, you dont.. - Move on! Yobbo, quickly get out of here.. ..or I shall break your bones. Hey but that trunk belongs to me. Look mister, this trunk is mine.. ..please give it back to me. It contains a very precious thing which belongs to me. I beg of you. - Look I have gone crazy.. But mister, listen to me.. Mister, give me my trunk back. Look, give me my trunk back. Hey ruffian, get the trunk. Come on let me see, pick up the trunk. I swear on God, dont worry, brother. You have landed in the right hands. Hey boss, what are you doing! Do you wish to kill this person by hitting him so hard? And brother, even you should leave this place. This fellow is a very crazy man. But he took my trunk.. - Let the trunk go to hell. And you get lost from here. Brother, this blood is more expensive than yourtrunk. Go. Look mister, I have requested you a Iot. I have even begged to you. I have even pleaded. Now I shall use my hands. Ouch! Hey you, now when your boss is getting beaten.. ..you are planning to escape? Hey, Iet me go. I swear on God, brother you have shown such a nice.. ..programme, wont you tell me your name? Krishna. I think you are new in Mumbai. And you still havent got a place to stay, right? You also look hungry. This means that you are a decent man. Brother, all this comes Iaterfirst tell me.. ..what are yourfuture plans? I mean where will you go? -Wherever my legs leads me to. Thats good too. Then brother, tell your legs to follow me. My mansion isjust around the corner. No, I dont want to be a burden on anyone. And when my family threw me out of the house.. ..I dont share any relationship with you. Why dont we share a relationship? We do have a relationship. Look you are poor, I am poor. And I swear on God, brother the relation.. ..a poor shares with another poor.. ..is greaterthan a brother-brother and father-son relationship. And the truth is I swear on God.. ..you have made a place in my heart. Come. Come. Come on. Come on. Brother, you have a very sad story. I swear on God, you made me cry. You heard my story but didnt tell anything about yourself. My name is.. Airport. Airport? What kind of a name is Airport? Brother, people laugh out helplessness as ajoke.. ..and sometimes thatjoke becomes your name. I am production manager in the film industry. And I pick up and drop artists to the airport. Artist? You mean even the heroes and the heroines? Yes, everyone. From Amitabh Bachchan to Asrani. And from Sridevi to Aruna Irani.. ..I have picked up and dropped all of.. ..them to the airport more than a thousand times. But I swear I still didnt get a chance to sit in the plane. Buddy, please make me meet Amitbah Bachchan once. Brother, now you have come to me.. ..then I will get this thing done for you. Okay, you stay here all alone. Dont you have any relatives? I do. Who says I dont? There is a distant uncle and so called sister-in-Iaw. Distant uncle keeps a distance from me. And so called sister-in-Iaw never calls me. tell me something.. -Yes? What is so special in this trunk.. ..that you were ready to die for it? should I? This is that precious thing? -Yes. This is my sirs photograph. Okay! So this is the photograph of that great man.. ..who accused you of theft and threw you out of the house. No, this is the photograph of that God.. ..who brought up a five year old helpless and orphan. Brother, what are you made up of? You still have so much respect forthis man? Friend, a God is always a God. He is worshipped under all circumstances. Whether he give happiness or sorrow to his devotee. If you dont mind can I place my sirs photograph.. ..next to your Gods? Wow, brother. Wow! Go. Sir, I really miss you. I miss you a Iot. Who must be taking care of you? Oh yes.. there is madam, little miss.. ..they will take good care of you. I wont come back, sir. I wont come back. Its very simple, Jyoti. I dont like it that I sit at home all day and you work. I will have to do something. - No, brother. We have lost everything. AII we have got is you. If anything happens to you, then where will we go? With whose support will we live? Sometimes I feel, you all have the same.. ..mother but you and your brothers are so different! This is the difference between family and strangers. Some family members become strangers.. ..and some strangers become ourfamiIy. Like our Krishna. Wonder where he will be. What must he be doing? You all are looking for me and I.. ..I was waiting for you all over here. Is it so? Keep this in your pocket, Peter. Now I will open this lock only after.. Take this. Hey.. hey what are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Hey.. No! -Who is it? Who is it? Oh! Brother.. I beg of you, I appeal to you.. ..if you want I can even take you to a doctor. But I swear you should stop having these dreams. Or else one day your scream will kill me. Look.. look brother, my heart is beating so fast. Forgive me, Airport my friend, but.. No brother, today I will have to.. ..tell you what your problem is. Why do you have such dreams? What else ajobIess person do otherthan have dreams? till my dreams dont come true these.. ..dreams will keep on following me. Oh this means I will have to get you ajob. Come brother, I will talk to my producer about you today. And get you ajob of spot boy. Which hero is shooting over here? Hey forget about the hero, the producer and.. ..director Mr. N. Chandra is coming. -Okay. call him sir and fall on his feet. But why should I call him sir? Because this is how you greet here! Come on! -Sir! What is it? -Sir, that.. he is Krishna. He is a very hard working boy, sir. He wants a spot boysjob. Its a small thing, keep him. Why do you need to ask me? You have done me a huge favour, sir. Sir.. - He gave me a house to stay. I had my clothes with me and you.. ..you provided me with a living. Wow! Wow! Wow! Mumbai suited me well, sir. Mumbai suited me well! Mum.. Mum.. Mumbai! Mumbai suited me well. Mum.. Mum.. Mumbai! Mumbai suited me well. Looking at the condition of Mumbai.. ..my heart started beating faster. Mum.. Mum.. Mumbai! Mumbai suited me well. Mum.. Mum.. Mumbai! Mumbai suited me well. Looking at the condition of Mumbai.. ..my heart started beating faster. Mum.. Mum.. Mumbai! Mumbai suited me well. Mum.. Mum.. Mumbai! Mumbai suited me well. There are ample beautiful, charming women here. There are a Iot of colourful beauties visible at the beach! These colonies are made on top of gold and silver! film celebrities reside in these lanes and by lanes. This is heaven forthose who have money with them. The one who is pauper drifts around! The earnings and living here is worth millions. The destiny here is with millions! The one who comes here never returns. This is not a city but a shackle. When I came to this place, my Iife changed! Mum.. Mum.. Mumbai! Mumbai suited me well. Mum.. Mum.. Mumbai! Mumbai suited me well. There are tall buildings. But there is no place to stay. There are so many roads. But there is no place to walk. Dont talk about food, water is sold here. AII the land is sold, now they are selling the sky. Money is everyones parents. Money is God! people are running afterthe money! Entire life is spent away in queues. Look how low a human has gone down to survive. Looking at this condition brother, I felt like crying! Mum.. Mum.. Mumbai! Mumbai suited me well. Mum.. Mum.. Mumbai! Mumbai suited me well. Looking at the condition of Mumbai.. ..my heart started beating faster. Mum.. Mum.. Mumbai! Mumbai suited me well. Mum.. Mum.. Mumbai! Mumbai suited me well. It suited me well! Yes, Mumbai suited me well! Wow! Great, brother! Mumbai suited me! Drink. Drink. Drink some hot tea. I have no religion and cast, my name is Super-fast. Fast. Fast. Very good. Drink it. Drink it. Just let me.. -Are you all set here? Its all fit, how can it not be? Lights on! ScoundreI, you betrayed your own family! I embraced you with love and you strangled my trust! This is what you gave me in return of my favours? Beware if you show me your inauspicious face again. Get out! Go away from here! Sir.. I am not sad because.. ..the entire village got me wrong. I am sad because even you couldnt understand me. I will take you leave. What have you done! The one whom you loved all your life.. ..you threw him out of the house! Why? Why did you do that? Thats because I Iove him a Iot. And the one who you love the most.. ..you have to sometimes act of hating them.. ..fortheir own benefit. You tell me, what do we have left with us? Poverty, pain, sorrow and troubles. I didnt want him to lead such a life with us. He is so young. He has a whole life in front of him. How could I see his life getting ruined in our sorrows? His life was getting ruined! I understood. I understood that sir acted in front of me. That slap.. that slap was an act. Sir.. sir loves me a Iot. Sir loves me a Iot. Krishna, what.. Its not a doctors concern. Hejust said and went that admit brother in a hospital. But we will have to pay the fees. We dont have any money plant with us.. ..that we can plunk them from it. Brother, but we will have to get him treated. No, its important to get him admitted in a hospital. But its not necessary that it should be a private hospital. Sister-in-Iaw is right, brother. We will be brother admitted in a charitable hospital. Yes, we arejust concerned with the treatment. people even get treated overthere. You all dont worry about brother. This situation shall never arise as long as I am there. You wish to tell the world that we dont care about brother? Itsjust you who takes care of him. With an ordinaryjob of a steno.. ..thinks great of herself. Jyoti, I wanted to ask you why did you take up.. ..such a humiIiatingjob and tried to defame ourfamiIy name? The familys respect is ruined.. ..because of me working, brother? And the fact that you wish to get brothertreated.. ..in a charitable hospital will do wonders to ourfamiIy name? Jyoti, you are crossing your limits. I have learnt to cross limits from you all, sister-in-Iaw. Where were these limits when someone else.. ..stole myjeweIIery and accused Krishna for it? Where were these limits when brother.. ..was taunted of smoking an expensive cigar? Where were these limits when.. ..the guarantee papers werent signed.. ..and brother had to part with his favourite car? As soon as this house lost its money, you all lost the.. ..Iove and respect you had for brother. Today he is up till his neck in debts.. ..and you all are leading a lavish life. Your rudeness is nearing him to death. Today he wishes that rather just had Krishna.. ..than having deceitful and betraying brothers like you. well done, Ravi! well done! well done! By slapping your younger sister.. ..you have proved that you are elder. Jyoti, its very simple. The brother, who you have been tying Rakhi from.. ..so many years, consider this slap.. ..as.. as your gift in return! Didnt you feel ashamed! The sister, who I have even never stared at.. ..you slapped that innocent sister of mine! No brother slaps his younger sisterfor his.. ..pleasure, but when a younger sisterforgets how.. ..to behave with her elder brother, then it is.. ..necessary to slap her in orderto teach her manners. No! No! She isnt iII-mannered. Shejust told you what the truth was. That poor girl didnt know that you people would get.. ..so irritated after knowing the truth! ItII be better if you talk clearly, instead of confusing us. If you hate us so much, then why have you kept.. ..relations with us from so many years! ? Because he promised your mother, when she was.. ..about to die, that he will never let her children cry but. .. but he didnt know that one day.. ..those children will make him weep! He did so much for you! You forgot all that so soon! You are forgetting, sister-in-Iaw. He got those 13 thousand rupees, which he invested.. ..in business and succeeded, after selling.. ..that hut, and that hut didnt belong to him.. ..but to our mother. Whatever he did for us was not a favor, but it was his duty. Dont feel bad, sister-in-Iaw. Anyway, whateverthey are.. ..doing, they are doing it for you both, forthis family. You indeed eat food twice a day.. ..but have you everthought who pays forthat? We are doing how much we can, sister-in-Iaw.. ..but brother shouldnt snatch our peace from us. I dont want to snatch anything from you.. ..but I amjust snatching a right from you today. Janki. No one will conduct my final riots from among these two. Anyway brother, this right is not meant for us.. ..but it is meant for your child, but Im sorry to say.. ..that sister-in-Iaw doesnt have any child. And however you might be related to us.. ..but you are not our real brother. My friend, please come back. Without you, my Iife is incomplete. My friend, please come back. Without you, my Iife is incomplete. Come and look at my condition. Without you, all my happiness is incomplete. My friend, please come back. You came to my Iife as my.. You came to my Iife as my.. You loved me more than my near ones did. people say that you were a stranger. people say that you were a stranger. My friend, please come back. Without you, my Iife is incomplete. My friend, please come back. I pray to God that wherever you are.. ..may you always be happy. I pray to God that wherever you are.. ..may you always be happy. Even afterforgetting, I cant forget you, my companion. I always think of you. I always think of you. My friend, please come back. Without you, my Iife is incomplete. My friend, please come back. Brother, you are counting your money! How much money did you collect? Nothing. Even afterworking hard all day.. ..even after starving, I collected only 900 rupees. I cant understand what to do. Brother, this is Mumbai city. If you lose hope so soon, then.. ..you wont be able to do anything. Then what else should I do? How can a man, who earns just 50 or 100 rupees.. ..a day, pay back sirs Ioan worth lakhs of rupees? If your intentions are good, then you can do anything. No! To earn money, a man needs to be smart.. ..cunning and educated. And I am an illiterate, a duffer, foolish. What can I do? Everything will be alright. God is there. hell make everything alright. Oh God! Make me worth getting sirs old days back! 65, 1, 1. Take one.. -Action! Yes. I am a criminal. And this dark world of crime.. Cut it. - Im sorry. Make-up, come here. Take two.. -Action! Yes! I am a criminal! And.. Cut it. Sorry. Take 9.. -Action! Yes! I am a criminal! And.. Whose guests are these! ? Get them out of here! Shooting is going on! Yes! I am a criminal! Switch off this light. This is breaking my concentration! Change this.. change this light! Make-up.. - He needs concentration! These superstars.. - Idiot! Now stop combing your hair and act! Act! Taking.. -Take 38.. -Action! Yes.. silence! will you put this in my mouth! ? Take it up! Is this a shoot or is this ajoke! ? Who the hell is laughing! ? Whos that! ? Hey! Did you laugh! ? You laughed! Sorry, sir. What the hell is sorry! ? Sir, actually, you are explaining to him so well. We all understood, but he does not understand. Did you understand! ? Did you understand! ? Yes. will you say all these dialogues? I remember all the dialogues. will you say such a Iong dialogue overthere.. ..in front of the camera? hell feel bad. You will say the dialogues! No, sir. hell feel bad. You will say the dialogues! Ok, sir. III say it if you want. Come! III see! Yes! I am a criminal! The people of the crime world are scared of me! I am a disgrace on the name of humanity! I know! I know that you hate me! You think Im not a nice man! But I believe that no man in the world is bad. No one is a born criminal! No thief robs forthe sake of pleasure. No criminal commits any crime for his pleasure. No prostitute sells her body for her pleasure. Time and circumstances. Time and circumstances force a person to become bad! And you know very well that a person who dies due to.. ..poverty or starvation, his final riots are not conducted. From that time.. from that time, I have Iearntjust one.. ..thing from life, I have understoodjust one thing.. ..from life that it is not a crime or a sin to be born.. ..as a poor, but dying due to poverty.. ..is the biggest crime, the biggest sin! Bravo! Bravo! It is the biggest crime.. -Thats our hero! Heres our hero! wonderful. Mind blowing. My discovery! Cut! I swear upon God, you were outstanding! The truth is that I have been happyjust twice. Once when India attained freedom, and today.. ..when my friend has become successful. I dont understand something, Dhanraj. You want to buy Mr. Kumars mansion. And I want to sell it, in orderto.. ..get my money back.. - Right. Then why dont you give me the.. ..money and take the mansion? Why are you conducting this auction? You dont understand. When the house gets auctioned, then the.. ..dignity of the members of the house gets ruined. There is a saying in Gujarati that if you want to show.. ..your rivalry, then you should see to it that your.. ..enemy becomes a pauper completely so that.. ..he begs and doesnt mess with you again. Ravi! Vicky! Ravi, did you hear? Our house is getting auctioned! Why are you so shocked, sister-in-Iaw? This would happen some orthe other day. will you.. will you let this heaven-Iike.. ..house of yours get auctioned? Vicky.. Vicky, this house is notjust.. ..made up of lime, sand and stones.. ..but your brothers hard work is also involved in this! And.. and where will we go if we leave this house! ? Now everyone will have to arrange forthemseIves. Naina and I have seen a flat for ourselves. We will go there. And what about me, sister-in-Iaw? I am like a guest in this house. If not with you, then III live with brother and sister-in-Iaw. But you dont worry, sister-in-Iaw. III search for a room for you, brother and Jyoti. Yes, III have to pay the rent. III pay it. youll pay the rent! people sacrifice their lives in orderto.. ..keep their dignity intact! Our house is getting auctioned.. ..and you have no shame at all! Even though you all are the brothers of.. ..such a kind man, you have stooped so low. Sister-in-Iaw! Vicky, I beg of you! Dont let this house get auctioned! I beg of you! Listen to me! This.. this is our house! Do something! Do something! Dont let this house get auctioned! Vicky! Vicky! Ravi! gentlemen, before starting this auction, I would Iike to.. ..tell you that Mr. Chaudhry will bid.. ..forthis luxurious mansion first. 50 lakhs. 51 Iakhs. 55 lakhs. Come on, gentlemen! Come on! 55 lakhs! 55 lakhs! 56 Iakhs. 57 Iakhs. Keep going! 57 Iakhs! 57 Iakhs! 60 lakhs! gentlemen, 60 lakhs! 60 lakhs, 1! 60 lakhs, 2! 60 lakhs, 3! No. No! I have.. I have decorated every single.. ..item of this house myself! This is my house! This is my husbands house! This is the temple of our love! This is the paradise of our happiness! I wont let anyone capture this house! I wont let this house get auctioned! I wont let this house get auctioned! Janki! Janki! Janki! Janki! Janki, open the door, Janki! I said open the door, Janki! Janki! Janki, who will support me if you lose hope? I know that you are feeling very bad. You cannot forget the bidding of the auction. I know. Look, Janki.. Janki. Janki! No, Janki. No. Dont do such a thing. I dont have anyone else besides you. If you leave me, then I wont be able to live. No, Janki. Janki! Janki. Janki. Janki! Sister-in-Iaw! No, sister-in-Iaw. No, sister-in-Iaw, you cannot leave me! Sister-in-Iaw, I didnt go away from you.. ..so that you leave me forever! I didnt go to the city to earn so that when.. ..I come back, you dont even talk to me! See, sister-in-Iaw! See.. see.. I have brought so many saris for you! See! This pink one, this black one, this red one! See! See! But I didnt bring any white sari, sister-in-Iaw! I didnt bring any white sari, sister-in-Iaw! Cut it. Krishna! Krishna! Dear, dont weep! Krishna! Youve done a good job, dear! Goodjob! Goodjob, dear! Goodjob! Krishna, the truth is that now you can definitely become a star! And I mean it. Hey Johnny, come here. click a photograph! He is the phenomena of tomorrow! This pose! Mum.. Mum.. Mumbai! Mumbai suited me well. Mum.. Mum.. Mumbai! Mumbai suited me well. Looking at the condition of Mumbai.. ..my heart started beating faster. Mum.. Mum.. Mumbai! Mumbai suited me well. If we look at the history of the Indian film industry.. ..then we come to know that in every.. ..different generations, different.. ..actors have been superstars. The first generation was of DiIip sir, afterthat came.. ..Rajendra, Dharmendra, Jeetendra.. ..Amitabh Bachchan, and today.. ..Krishna is very popular amongst everyone. hello. Mr. Krishna, firstly Id like to ask you that you have.. ..become a superstar in very less time. How do you feel after attaining so much success? The truth is that all this seems to be.. ..like a magic for me, Tabbassum. Ok, Mr. Krishna, it is said that behind.. ..every successful man, there is someone. Today you are shining like a star in the sky of prosperity. Can I know who the one behind all this is? There are many people, but my sir is the most important one. Sir! Mr. Krishna, our audience would.. ..definitely like to know.. I would Iike to tell everyone, Tabbassum. Sir. This is the name I worship before worshipping God. Because God gives and then takes it back.. ..but my sir hasjust given me. Today, even though I am away from him.. ..but because of his blessings.. ..today thousands of people and watching my show. Even my sir might be watching this show. Sir, you are watching, arent you? I know that you might be very happy. But you might be thinking why.. ..your Krishna didnt come back. Just few more days. We are destined to stay away forjust few more days. III definitely fulfill the promise that.. ..I made to sister-in-Iaw, sir. III definitely come back. III definitely.. III definitely come back, sir. You dont know what this acting can do to me? Otherwise the day will arrive when all the.. ..girls will queue up for my autograph and you.. ..wont even get chance to come near me! How did I spend my day? And the nights too? O beloved dont ask me.. ..about the severaIty! O beloved dont ask me.. ..about the severaIty! How did I spend my day? And the nights too? O beloved dont ask me.. ..about the severaIty! O beloved dont ask me.. ..about the severaIty! darling, I missed you everyday! finally, I met you after so many days! darling, I missed you everyday! finally, I met you after so many days! Whenever I had missed you! I used to cry for you! And I used to engross in yourthoughts! Neither did I sleep nor did I remain awake! How did I spend my day? And the nights too? O beloved dont ask me.. ..about the severaIty! O beloved dont ask me.. ..about the severaIty! I was so far.. ..yet so nearto you! I was unlucky.. ..only forfew days! I was so far.. ..yet so nearto you! I was unlucky.. ..only forfew days! I used to see you in earth.. ..I used to search for you in the sky! I used to write you when.. ..I dreamed about you! How did I spend my day? And the nights too? O beloved dont ask me.. ..about the severaIty! How did I spend my day? And the nights too? O beloved dont ask me.. ..about the severaIty! O beloved dont ask me.. ..about the severaIty! Sir, I am here! Madam! Why is this house locked? Who are you? Whom do you want to meet? Gardener, why is this house locked? Where is sir? Who? Mr. Kumar. Oh, you mean him? He was really nice fellow. Its been long since he has left this place! Where did he leave for? I dont know, sir. But afterthis mansion was auctioned.. ..nobody saw him around here! Auction? Yeah, now Mr. Dhanraj owns this mansion. Dhanraj? ! And what about his family? His brothers? They were not brothers but rather brutes. And now they have become quite rich. They have started factory with help of those auction money! Both of the brothers have taken away all the money. Mr. Kumar and his younger sisterwere.. ..thrown out of this house! They have left this house as if they were leaving this world! But why did he agree to all this? Why did he put up with their dishonesty? Why did he leave silently? What could he do? He was not in his sense! As if he was mad! Because of his wifes death! Krishna, no one knows where Mr. Kumar is! But its really nice to see you back. I am carrying a burden on my mind! Now I am really relieved! But Mr. NagpaI, how did this happen to you? Yourwife has died, your daughter became widow. And I started suffering from cancer! What? This is how a sinner repays his sins! The fire that started in your bosss factory was not accidental! Krishna, I have started that fire because.. ..Dhanraj paid me to do so! I had started that fire! Dhanraj! Airport, now we have to play a new role in our life. We have to meet every one of sirs enemies! With new avatar and a new identity! Yeah, we have to revenge sir and sister-in-Iaw! We have to revenge the injustice that happened to them! And we swearthat unless and until we.. ..bosss destruction, we will not think about anything else. Brother Ravi! Brother Ravi! What is it, Vicky? Why are you shouting? You wiIIjump forjoy once I will let you know the news! Brother, exporter has come with orders.. ..worth crores of rupees! If we can get our hands on one order.. ..then our lives will be filled with prosperity! We will earn millions! Dont you worry, Vicky! We will definitely get those orders. I will prepare an excellent sample.. ..which no one will have in the market! Oh brother! Thats really great! Huh! The quality is excellent. -well thanks. But this order is worth 80 lakhs. And yourfactory is too small. Can you handle such a Iarge order? Yeah, why not! Why not! We will deIiverthe goods within the time, Mr.. Mr. Airport! Airport? Yeah its Hawai Adda in Hindi! You can call me Mr. Adda if you want! Oh Adda! Oh Mr. Adda! - Mr. Adda! .. Mr. Adda, at Ieast give us one chance! Oh I Iike your sincerity! Just a minute. Sir, both of the partners of Naina Garments are over here! What, sir? How do they look? well they are quite handsome! Decent and honest! And sir, they want to make progress in their lives! - Right! But sir, they havent delivered that.. ..big ordertiII now, right? Yes! -Yes, sir? well decent and honest are the rare breed! Give them the order! congratulations! congratulations! congratulations! You have bagged the order! You do one thing; take five lakh rupees from Mr. Mehta. I mean advance! Oh, got it! Got it! Thank you, Mr. Adda! Bye! Okay! They will borrow 50 lakh to bag this five lakh. And thats what I want! Brother Krishna, we have got them! Now what? Now, next is Dhanraj! Dhanraj. Mr. Dhanraj? Yeah, speaking! Go on! You own a mansion. Yeah. Named Swarg! - Right! And I want to buy it. But I dont want to sell it. Think about it! I will give you whatever you ask for! But I still wont agree! Not even for 50? Not even for 55! 60? You dont understand! Look, I have told you. 70? Who are you? 80? Whats so special about this mansion? I mean to say that.. 90! Wait a minute! Wait! If you want it so badly then I wont disappoint you! I want to ask you one thing. But I hope you are not kidding, right? I dont do that! Then come with the money, I will get ready the documents! I have already prepared the documents! Very good. -You wiIIjust have to sign them! My man is waiting outside with 90 lakh. Just go and open the door! Okay. Wait a minute! Dont hang up! I wiIIjust come back. Dont hang up. Good morning! Here are the papers and here are your90 Iakhs! Come in! please, come in! Come in! please, come in! Man, how did you know that I will.. ..definitely make a deal on 90 lakhs? Dhanraj, I know how much each man is worth! I know pressure points for everyone! Take this. You know there is a saying in our Gujrati. Dont make a deal with a man to.. ..whom you dont understand! But I am making this deal because.. ..I can get you guys! Because its profitable for me! Take this. Just tell me one thing. Does your boss want to start a price war? No, he is planning totally different! He wants to throw down those who are at the top! Good day! And enjoy your self, please! The money has arrived! The money has arrived! Its tune is soothing! Its tune is soothing! The money has arrived! Coming! hello! .. Sir, there is a fire in yourfactory! What? Fire in the factory? -Yeah. Who are you? - I am watchman overthere! .. How did it. Watchman! Hey, GadgiI! GadgiI! GadgiI! GadgiI! There is a fire in the factory! GadgiI! Throw the water overthere! Throw it! Idiot! No! No! My factory! Dhanraj! Krishna? You? Yeah, its me! I have come here to see you getting ruined! Do you remember, Dhanraj? We have seen this sight before! The only difference is, at that time.. ..you were happy and today I am! I know it! I know now! You have done this! You have done this! I know it! Dhanraj,just think that God has punished you for your misdeeds! Your bad time has arrived, Dhanraj! Your mill has caught fire and there.. ..you have sold offSwarg to bag 90 lakh! I didnt get you. Just think that if you dont have that 90 lakh then? Hey! This cant be! This will never happen! There is saying in every language and Gujrati too! God is a silent punisher! No! Greetings! Greetings! please come. What will you have? We wont have anything. We have come here to remind.. ..you that tomorrow its 13! -Yeah, we know. Dont worry, Mr. ToIani! You will get back your money with interest! The goods are ready wejust have to deIiverthem! Once you deIiverthe goods give us the money! Sure. Greetings! Greetings, Mr. Adda! Mr. Adda! -Yeah? I am not Adda! I am Chaddha! Oh Mr. Chaddha! -Yeah, go on! Mr. Chaddha, your goods are ready. -Yeah. Goods! What kind of goods? Where do they come from? Who are you guys? I guess you havent recognized us! Sir, you had given us rupees five lakh as advance. And we have kept ready your goods worth 80 lakh! I think you are forgetting. I am forgetting! Yes, right! So guys, do one thing! Just forget about it! Forget? What are you saying, Mr. Adda? Mr. Chaddha! Mr. Chaddha, dont do this, otherwise we will be ruined! .. We might die also! -Yeah! What can I do if you are going to die? Its all right, if you cant do anything! We want to meet your boss! -Yeah! Then go to right and turn to left! Thank you! -Thank you! -Greetings! well, thats where the boss sits. Boss, your manager says that you.. ..dont want to accept our goods? Dont do that with us, sir! We will have to auction everything! Sir, we will be ruined! Thats what I want! Krishna? Yeah, your humble servant! Krishna! The same man who was slapped and abused! The same man who was thrown out of.. ..the house underthe false accusation of theft! So, you are taking revenge forthat? I have forgotten about that already. But how can I forget about the tears from my madams eyes? How can I forget what you did with my master? Do you remember, how did you suddenly.. ..change yourself in the time of need? Do you rememberthat you had denied.. ..from signing the guarantee papers? Did you remember how did the lenders take away the car? Do you remember how did you force sirto leave cigar? Mr. Vicky, you guys dont remember anything. But Krishna is aware of everything. I am not going to accept your goods. Go and complaint about me in the police station! Go to court if you want! Go! Now you will know when the lenders.. ..will come and ask you forthe money! You will realize when your houses will be auctioned! You will realize when your mills will be locked up! What are you waiting for? Go! Leave! Get lost from here! Leave before my watchman comes here.. ..throws you out of my cabin! Just leave from here! I say, get lost from here! Forgive me, sir! Forgive me! congratulations, sir! Congrats! Why are you so sad at this happy occasion? Now you have already revenged your enemies! You have got back yourSwarg! But still you are.. Airport, heaven cant be a heaven.. ..unless God dwells in there! You are right, Krishna. We have looked for him everywhere. But we couldnt find him! I am afraid that he might have.. No, Airport! It cant be! As long as I am alive nothing can happen to him! He is not meeting me because he is annoyed with me. But tomorrow, I will visit a temple where.. ..he had found me when I was an orphan! I believe that my prayers will be heard there! How can the medicine work when you are hungry? Are you hungry? You are starving for last two days. And you claim that you are not hungry? I wiIIjust come back. O God, I have looked for him everywhere! But I couldnt find him. I dont know how he is doing now. God, you have bestowed me with everything. But without him its useless! God, I want to find him! Yes, I do! Have a seat! Have a seat! Brother, please sit down. Mr. Kirshna is going to serve the offering! Master! Master! What happened to you, sir? What happened to you? Krishna, ourfate betrayed.. ..us once you left us! I lost everything! Your madam also left me! Yeah, I know! I know! Sir, I know all of it. You have met me after such a Iong time! Master! How is little miss? He is Krishna! Krishna! He is Krishna! Krishna! I want autograph! Autograph! Autograph please! Autograph please! Autograph please! Yeah. You guys, dontjust stare at each other. Wont you come in the house? Lets go, Master! - Hey, Krishna. Lets go. Without you the heaven is nothing but a ruin! Krishna? Master, I have called them over here. You called them here? Sir, they have already been punished more than what they deserve! Now they are sad, homeless and helpless! please forgive them! Forgive them? shall I forgive them? shall I forgive them? They are murderers of my wife.. ..and you want me to forgive them? Dont say that, brother! Younger ones always makes mistake.. ..but elder ones has to forgive them, isnt it? You silly one. You must have forgotten that you were slapped! But I cant forget that! They have wounded me in such a way.. ..that I wont be able to forgive them in this life! Dont be so harsh on them! If you wont support them in their bad times.. ..then who else will support them? And did you forget what sister-in-Iaw used to say? The one who doesnt know how to forgive.. ..even God doesnt forgive that person. Jyoti, even if God sends me to hell for not.. ..forgiving them, then III happily go, but I.. ..I will not give them a place in.. ..my heaven-Iike house again. If.. if I forgive them today, then all those brothers.. ..who take care of their younger brothers.. ..like theirfatherwiII neverforgive me! Jyoti, its very simple. If today these people have cried in orderto improve.. ..their bad times, then can you assure me that.. ..in future, if the time changes.. ..these people wont change themselves? Can you assure me about this! ? No! You cant assure me about this. Krishna, get these people out of here! Im feeling suffocated! One day, you promised me that.. ..you will never let these children cry. And today, when these children are.. ..in front of you, you are feeling suffocated! Did you forget your promise! ? You broke your promise! Krishna! III get the doctor.. - No! No, Krishna. I dont want to live. You.. you have returned all those things that.. I lost. My.. my.. brothers.. ..my brothers.. my wealth.. My dignity.. my dignity.. my honour.. this heaven.. You have done a Iot of favours on me. Do.. do me a last favour. tell me, sir! Just order me! Marry.. marry Jyoti.. This fool.. like you.. ..likes you a Iot.. Marry.. marry her.. Janki.. Krishna.. your.. ..sister-in-Iaw is.. calling me. Sir! Sir! Brother! What did you do, sir! ? Why did you do this! ? Your life was in your palm and you didnt open your palm! Sir.. How will I repay yourfavours? My tears ask me this. My tears ask me this. [ Woman Narrating ] Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett led an elite group of scientists into the desert... to develop a top secret project known as Quantum Leap. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Dr. Beckett prematurely stepped into the project accelerator... and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own time was maintained... through brain wave transmissions with Al, the project observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Dr. Beckett can see and hear. Trapped in the past, Dr. Beckett finds himself... leaping from life to life, putting things right that once went wrong... and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home. [ Man ] What do you make of that? [ Bells Chiming ] Well? Um-- [ Clears Throat ] It's a-- It's a-- a gold locket. Melvin, your powers of deduction astound me. I'm talkin' about the, uh-- the German stuff on the back. What's, uh, "Mein Liebe für 'uwig"'? No, that's "Meine Liebe für ewig. " Oh. Yeah. That. "Meine Liebe für ewig"... means... "My love forever." Oh. Oh. I didn't know you knew German. No, neither did I. I'm just kind of surprised that I would remember... that much from my last... one German class I took in high school. Ah. The little girl must be her. Her? Her. [ Sam ] She's dead. Melvin, you should've been a detective instead of a mortician. [ Man ] It was the saddest thing-- finding her purse... sittin' on top of a neatly folded coat out there at the end of the dock. Hmm. She drowned herself? I found this shoe floating' under the dock. Guess the other one sunk to the bottom. Melvin? What is it, Melvin? Hmm? - Nothing. - Come on. It's not like you've never seen this sort of thing before. It's just that she's so young. Well, don't you remember? What, two summers ago? The little boy who got hit by the speedboat. Hmm? Whew. I'll never forget what he looked like. Yeah. That was, uh-- [ Clears Throat ] That was horrible. You know, Melvin, I think this job's startin'to get to you. It's just the formaldehyde. It kind of-- [ Buzzer Buzzes ] Ah. Must be Greg. Mr. Truesdale. Evenin', Lyle. I knew the German girl worked at the lodge. That's why I called Greg. I didn't want to bother you, sir. You- - You told him that, didn't you, Greg? Yeah. Uh, Dad wanted to come. I insisted. Hilla was one of my best employees. Melvin. Mr. Truesdale. Uh, she's back here. Oh. You were close? Uh-- Yeah. We were friends. I-- Ah, he's a good-looking kid. Lots of girls at the lodge have their eye on him. Suck it up, Greg. [ Chuckles ] Kid's got his mother's stomach. Seems like there was more to it than that. Her name's Hilla. Hilla Danner. I hired her as a desk clerk at the beginning of the season. She, uh, have any family? I believe they were all killed during the war. Well, looks like you're gonna have to bury her in potter's field. I'll pay for it. Well, that's real nice of you, sir. She did work for me. I've, uh, got some paperwork in the car we need to fill out. Uh, sorry. Nonsense. I'm only sorry we had to do this at all. Yeah. [ Lyle ] Be right with you, sir. Melvin, why were you contradicting Mr. Truesdale? Well, it seems like the girl meant a lot more to his son than he wanted to let on. The man was embarrassed. Of what? Of Greg's weak stomach. Melvin, if it wasn't for Mr. Truesdale, you wouldn't be coroner. I'd remember that. [ Woman ] That was her mother's. It's the only thing she had left of her family. They all died in the war. Her father in North Africa... and her mother and her brothers in the firebombing of Dresden. Oh, Hillie. Why? After surviving all of that? Why? She was my friend. I should have known. I should have... stopped her. Friends always feel that way when someone close to them dies. Those are Hillie's. I have to get them cleaned. No, no. It's okay. No, I have to. Hillie's clothes were always perfect. She wouldn't wear anything that wasn't perfect. It doesn't matter anymore. [ Sobs ] Wait. Wait. Wait. Can I- - Can I, uh, drive you home or somethin'? I'm sorry, Mr. Spooner. I-- I have to get out of here. [ Sighs ] No wonder nobody wants to touch me. Al, you scared me. Scared you? Comin' out of the coffin. What about me? You know how I feel about dead people. I'm a coroner. Yeah. Well, no. Actually, you're a mortician. [ Chuckles ] It's 1 957. Uh, you're in Riven Rock, Massachusetts. And in little towns like this sometimes they appoint the local mortician as the coroner. This is horrible. Hey, I wouldn't mind sitting out this leap either. Well, maybe you can. I don't think I need you on this one, Al. What do you mean you don't need me? I don't need you. What? Well, what do you mean you don't-- What do you mean you don't need me? - Al, if I'm here to help this girl, - You don't need... me? I'm a little late. [ Chuckles Nervously ] Maybe I will sit this one out. [ Whirring ] Uh, Ziggy doesn't know why you're here, and about all he's got on the girl there is-- Hilla. Yes. Hilla. Is she committed suicide by drowning... on November 9, 1 957. November 9? What? What? Today's her birthday. She's 1 9. Forever. Why am I here? I told you we don't know. It's gotta have something to do with her. Right? Who was she, Al? Who was she? What songs did she like to sing? Who'd she dream about at night? William Holden. What? William Holden. It's 1 957. She's a teenager. She had to have a crush on either William Holden orJames Dean. Uh, knowing her background, my money's on Bill. I'll bet Picnic is the first movie she saw when she came to the United States. She looks like she's sleeping. Sweet dreams. Al, she didn't commit suicide. She was murdered. Are you sure that's a bullet hole? I saw more than a few of these in my last year in med school. How could the chief of police miss this when he pulled her out of the water? Well, uh, maybe her hair was covering it or-- I don't see an exit wound. I guess the bullet's still in there. Sam, you're not gonna-- Al, I'm a-- a doctor, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. But, I mean, that-- that-- that does-- that doesn't mean-- Well, you know. The only clue we've got... is the bullet. [ Chuckling Nervously ] I think I'm gonna go get a cup of coffee. [ Metal Clinks ] [ Sighs ] You can come out now, Al. It's over. - Is that the bullet? - No. Shrapnel. I found it under an old scar behind her ear. Oh, from the war. Well, where's the bullet? There wasn't any. There wasn't any? Small entrance wound. No exit. It's like the bullet went in... and vanished. Look at this, Al. Someone dragged her onto that dock. Oh, come on. Lots of women have scuffed-up heels on their shoes. No, not Hilla. Her friend told me that Hilla always kept her clothes perfect. Whoever killed her, dragged her to the end of the dock. I hate to tell you this, Sherlock, but she could have shot herself. Where's the gun? Maybe it fell into the lake. No, I don't think so. Why not? If Hilla committed suicide, I wouldn't be here. The only thing that makes sense is that I'm here to find out who murdered her. [ Sam Narrating ] Whenever I quantum leap, I get to see what it's like to walk in another man's shoes. And sometimes what it's like to drive in his car. I knew very little about Hilla, except that she survived a war when everyone else in her family died. She was either lucky or had a strong will to live. One of these had run out on her. I had to find out which one. Greg. Ah. Melvin. How you doin'? Fine. Fine. Uh, we're just wrapping up for winter here. Uh- - Um, could you tell me which room was Hilla's? The key doesn't have a number on it. Yeah. Um, the one on the left-- the first one. Thanks. Uh, what do you want in Hillie's room? Well, I need-- I need a dress to bury her in. Do you have any suggestions? Her favorite was the blue dress with the bow on the back. You loved her, didn't you? - Uh, everybody loved Hillie. - But... you loved her a little more. You would've made a great Dr. Watson, Al. (music) [ Mid-tempoJazz ] (music) [ Continues ] [ Distant Cannon Fire ] [ Distant Screaming ] [ Hilla's Voice ] I saw Picnic again. William Holden is so handsome, and I know how he feels. All alone, a drifter with no one to love. That's what's missing from my life-- someone to love. Mr. Truesdale's son, Greg, asked me to a picnic today. He is so cute. He turned my camera on me, and I can't believe how silly I acted. [ Chuckles ] But it was fun, and it made us laugh. He asked me to the movies, and I decided to take a chance. I hope it's not a mistake. [ Hilla ] July 4. America's independence. [ Chuckles ] At dusk, we got a bottle of wine and watched the fireworks. I drank too much, but it helped me tell the truth-- that for the first time I had met someone I could fall in love with. And after that, we fought until dawn, and I realized I had to end it between us. [ Door Opens ] Hilla? What are you doing here? Oh. I, um-- I came to pick out a dress for Hilla's funeral. And to listen to her records while you read her diary? It's, uh, in German. Look, Stephanie, I am the coroner. That doesn't give you the right to go through her things. She was beautiful. My camera loved her. You took that? It's a hobby I'd hoped to turn into a profession. Hillie and I were gonna go back to New York together. She was gonna be a big fashion model, and I'd shoot all her covers. She'd have made it too. I keep expecting her to walk through the door, you know? Hillie understood life better than most people. Maybe because she'd seen so much death. That's why I can't believe she killed herself. Maybe she didn't. - What do you mean? - She may have been murdered. Oh, God. Do you have any idea who may have done it? No. Everyone loved her. No one... would want her dead. What? Nothing. It's not nothing. What are you thinking? Truesdale fired her. Because of his son? Greg had a fling with Hillie. A fling? It seemed like he loved her. He loves a lot of the girls, but he's not gonna get serious with someone like Hillie. His father would kill him. Stephanie, would you keep this to yourself for the moment? Of course. Thanks. - The blue one. - What? That's the dress you should bury her in. The blue one with the bow. [ Al ] It's right here, Sam. It's in the closet. How long have you been there? Uh, well, long enough to know that you think Greg's old man murdered Hilla. Or maybe Greg. I thought the kid was in love with her. According to her diary, she met someone new. She broke it off with Greg on the Fourth ofJuly. Well, maybe they made up again. I don't know. After the fourth, there are no new entries. Except she did put this in there. What is it? A blood test result. Her beta H.C.G. was positive. Uh-huh. Speak English, will ya? Two people died in that lake, Al. Hilla was pregnant. Nah, that's not a bullet wound. Damn it, Lyle. Yes, it is. Then where's the bullet? I haven't found it. You don't have a bullet, you don't have a bullet wound. She could've hit anything falling into the water. A rock, a nail-- anything. But she didn't. It wasn't suicide. It was murder. Melvin, I'm startin' to worry about ya. Beautiful dead girl naked under a sheet. Must have a way of makin' a man think strange. Sam. Don't lose your cool, Sam. Melvin, this is nothin' more than an unfortunate case of suicide. Bury the poor girl. If it was suicide, where's the gun? She wasn't shot. I'm the coroner. I say she was. If it was a suicide, the gun is probably in the water near the dock. Maybe the gun's in the lake. If she shot herself-- and I don't believe that she did-- then the gun must have fallen into the water. That lake's near freezing'. You want me to send a man into that icy water lookin' for a gun that's not even there. If the gun is there, then you're right about the suicide. And then... I'll bury her. Okay, Melvin. I'll look for the gun. But... whether I find one or not, you bury the German girl tomorrow. You know, he does have a point there, Sam. Oh, come on, Al. I didn't leap in here just to bury Hilla. Well, there's nothing else that figures-- Except- - Except if she was murdered, and the killer was never caught. Uh, well, look, if the chief finds the gun in the lake-- He won't. And- - And even if he does, it just means that the killer threw the gun in the water. Boy, you won't give up, will ya? Not when I feel I'm right. All right. Say you're right. We find the gun-- even find someone to trace it to. What does that prove? You have no bullet to match it to. I know. I know, Al. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I mean, where's the bullet? Talkin' to the stiffs again, Melvin? - Excuse me? - That's the great thing about a stiff. They don't talk back, but, boy, can they listen. [ Al ] Uh-oh. Uh, Sam, if-- if she's gonna do what... I think she's gonna do, uh, I'm out of here. You okay, Melvin? Yeah. I gotta hurry and get back to the shop before Mrs. Sparling's dryer shuts off. I'll be out of a 50-cent tip. Don't worry, honey. Aggie's gonna fix you up. That German girl sure was pretty. Her name is Hilla. What dress did you get for her to wear? A blue one with a... bow on the back. I left it in her room. That's not like you, Melvin. You're always after me for forgetting' things. Well, you better get it. We can't bury her naked. Even if she didn't have no money. You knew her? Nah. But you hear more in a beauty shop than a priest in confession. Uh, don't-- don't overdo it. Just--Just keep it natural. Sure, Melvin. [ Door Closes ] What are you doin' back here, Sam? I came to get a dress to bury Hilla in. You decided to stay for the late show? I thought you were gonna sit this leap out, Al. Now, don't get me wrong. I've had a lot of fixations on women, but this-- It's not one of your cheap flings. Whatever. This is an obsession. Look at her, Al. She's so young... and beautiful and... full oflife. Is that a girl who could kill herself? This is 1 957, Sam. An unmarried girl that got pregnant was an outcast. Sometimes they'd end the pregnancy. Sometimes they'd even end their own lives. - Maybe Greg helped her do both. - You really think he killed her? Hilla tried to break up with Greg on the fourth. She said they fought all night. She broke with him, Al, but it was too late. She was pregnant. He's gotta be the killer. But you've got no proof of that. I've got feelings. Feelings? That's a song. You've got no evidence. - You got no gun. You got no bullet. You got nothin'. - I got her. You got shadow and light flickering on a wall. That's not Hilla. What you're seeing is in your imagination. [ Sam ] She's trying to tell me something, Al. I don't know what it is, but she's trying to tell me something. [ Sam Narrating ] As much as I hate to admit it, sometimes Al's right. Hilla was haunting me in a way even I couldn't understand. But I kept thinking about the road she had traveled to get here... and all she had lost along the way... to die alone, buried and forgotten, with her murderer free. I had to be here to change that. [ Lyle ] I told you this was a waste of time. Not really. We just proved that she didn't shoot herself. Come on, Melvin. If she committed suicide, the gun would have been down there. It's not. So someone shot her. Damn it, Melvin. Will you give it up? You've got no evidence and no motive. She was pregnant. Pregnant? That's right. And we both know who the father was. [ Laughs ] [ Groans ] Oh, come on, Greg. Ah, I'm just a little off today. Hey, Melvin, Lyle. Can you believe it, Melvin? First time I beat the kid since he was 1 6. Must be the cold. [ Chuckles ] I've got your check up at the office. Looks like we'll have snow for the funeral. I can't bury her until I finish the investigation. Melvin thinks she was murdered. Murdered? You said she committed suicide. No, I found a bullet hole in her left temple right here. So the poor kid shot herself. Why would anybody want to kill Hilla? Maybe because she was pregnant. Of course, that probably doesn't come as any big news to you, does it, Greg? How did he know she was telling the truth? She could have just been saying that so he'd have to marry her. Got a lot to lose. Harvard Law School's coming up. All this one day. A kid and an unmarried mother... could ruin everything. I was gonna marry her. What? We were gonna elope the night she died. - I don't believe it. - Neither do I. - Hilla broke it off with you. - No, she didn't. On the Fourth ofJuly, she told you she loved someone else. You fought, and she ended it between you. Who told you that? Hilla. In her diary. No, that wasn't me. Not that weekend. I was at a tournament in Boston. That's right. The kid won. Brought back a real big trophy. Whoever she broke it off with, it wasn't me. Wejust started dating each other around that time. And you didn't get her pregnant either. Next time you come around here with wild accusations, get your facts straight, Melvin. (music) [Jazz On Record Player ] [ Hilla's Voice ] That's what's missing from my life-- someone to love. (music) [ Ends ] [ Record Scratching Softly ] (music) [Jazz ] That's a beautiful melody. Haunting, beautiful. I used to like to play that on rainy nights... sitting in front of a roaring fire by the fireplace. I don't have a roaring fire. You don't have a girl in your arms either. Now, look, this isn't Laura. Hilla is not gonna come through that door drenched with rain. Al, look, I- - I know I'm being a little irrational about this, but... I'm the only one on Hilla's side. That's not true. She's got me. You finally can see that she didn't do it? Hilla and I are both orphans. We gotta stick together. Now- - Let's see-- Let's see if Ziggy's got anything new here. - He's liable to get tough, Mr. Smith. - Let him out, I said. - What's his name? - We call him Buck. I don't like to take the responsibility, Mr. Smith. That's why you'll never amount to much. What are you asking for him? Uh, 250 bucks. Sold. Let him out. So your name's Buck, eh? You're tough, huh? Hey, wait a minute. That dog cost me a lot of money. - I pay for my pleasure, Mr. Groggins. - Wait a minute. That dog belongs to me. I bought him, Smith, and I don't allow my dogs to be shot. That is, of course, unless I shoot them myself. That's all right. I'll give you twice what you paid for him. He's not for sale. Just as you say, my good man. Just as you say. Well, what others have you? - Uh, here. Hitch 'em up. - These two will do. I ordered a collapsible bathtub from Seattle. Did it get here? It's a bathtub.! It's a bathtub.! You sweet meats. You're losing your home. Easy with ye. Come on. Out. Come on. Come on. Come on, Harmon. Here ya are, Mr. Smith. We thought it was something to pile wood in. The only bath a person gets up here is by the sweat of the brow. How interesting. Mush! Been a great pleasure, gentlemen. A great pleasure! Nice guys. Well, I don't like to see a dog killed either. But after all, 250 bucks is 250 bucks. All right, I told you I'm buying him, and I am. - We ain't got no time to fool with him. - Quiet, quiet. Whose money is this? Listen, you, you're my dog, and I'm your boss. The sooner you learn that, the easier it's going to be for both of us. Come on.! Mush.! Mush.! Ho! Ho! Right there! Hey! Go on! Get back there! What'd you bring this baboon along for? - That big guy don't like him.! - That's just too bad! He'll learn to like him! - Come on! Let's go! Mush! Mush! - Get your teeth out of him.! Come on! Get up there! Come on, gray boy! Come on, Buck. - What's the matter? - Nearly took my wing off. Come on, big boy. We don't mean you any harm. We're trying to be friendly with you. Buck, come here! Buck, come here.! Come on, boy. Nobody's gonna hurt you. Come on, now, be- Buck! Hey, Buck! Buck, come here! Well, you can kiss that 250 bucks good-bye. Yep. It's too bad too. He'd have made a great dog. Now he'll either freeze to death, or wolves'll get him. Poor fella. Make yourself at home, Buck. Hey! Look, boss! Wolves! Is he dead? No, he isn't dead. And he isn't a he. Hey, you know who that is? That's Blake's woman! Oh, John! Oh, John darling! I'm so glad! Oh. Oh - Oh, I thought- Is my husband with you? Have you found him? You're the only one we've found so far. What about your husband? I don't know. We ran into trouble... and we lost most of our provisions crossing the river. The ice broke, and - and then some of our dogs died. Two days ago my husband went out to look for food... and he hasn't come back. Do you think he's dead? That's a pretty good guess. What are we gonna do with her? What can you do? Take her to Dawson and leave her. You're forgetting one thing, pal. - Yeah? - She and her old man was looking for the same thing we are. And they had the map - the original one. You'll find my husband for me, won't you? There's nothing we can do. We're a thousand miles from nowhere. Either the cold got him, or the wolves. - Get on the sled. We're taking you to Dawson. - But you gotta help me find him. He isn't dead. I - I don't believe that. Hey, listen, lady, in this country when a guy is gone for two days, he's gone. I refuse to go until I definitely know about my husband. If you don't wanna stay and look for him, you can go without me. No! No! Put me down! Put me down! I can't go! I've got to stay! Put me down! Stop! Stop this sled! Whoa! What's the matter? - You untie these straps. - Oh, no, no. You might fall off. I'm doing this for your own good. Later on you'll thank me. I hate you, you beast! Let me out of here! Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me! Whoops! Ha! - Let's go! Mush! - Mush.! Beans. It's customary up here, Mrs. Blake, for everybody to pitch in and do their share. You've been with us two days, and you haven't done anything but sit around and look nasty. Can you cook? Yes, I'm considered a very excellent cook. Huh. Well, how about giving these beans the benefit of your talents? I'll do nothing to help you. I'm your prisoner, and since you seem to want me with you, you'll take care of me. Want you? We just had an attack of insanity and decided to keep you from committing suicide. Very bad idea, come to think of it. Hey! You're forgettin' our guest of honor. Thank you, Mr. Hoolihan. - Hey. Gimme. Come on, gimme. - Hmm? Say, uh, Mrs. Blake, if I ain't too inquisitive... what was you and your old man gonna do up here? Work. Oh. Looking for the yellow stuff, eh? Probably. Can't understand it, a guy taking his wife way out in the wilderness. Stupid, if you ask me. Mr. Blake had an excellent reason. Yeah? Yeah. He loved me and I loved him. Well, I wouldn't let him go alone. Undoubtedly, that will still impress you as being a very stupid reason. We thought it an excellent one. I still think it's stupid. Have some coffee. It might warm you up. Well, tell me somethin'. Uh, didn't he have some object? Wasn't there somethin' he was after? What I mean is, did he have a hunch, or did somebody give him a tip? - I'm very tired, Mr. Hoolihan, and I know you must be. - Me, tired? Heck no! Well, I thought you might be, asking such personal questions. - Good night. - Good night. Boss, she's a woman in a million. - You think so? - Yeah. She don't talk. Oh! All right, get on with the dogs. No, thank you. I'll cross the way you men do. Hold on! Hold on! Stick with it.! Hurry up! Hurry up! Don't forget the gun! Say! Nice, modest little prices they have here. They practically give things away. Say, boss, how much we got this side of the grave? Just about enough for a room in a poorhouse. This mansion over here'll do. Come on. - Come on, Buck. - Come on, Buck. Well, Mrs. Blake, I guess it's about time to say good-bye. There's an officer of the Mounted Police down the street. They'll get you back to the States. We'd stake you ourselves, only, well, we've mislaid our funds. Yeah, yeah. Well, you've been very nice, Mr. Thornton. I - I suppose I was a little difficult, but... - well, losing someone you've grown to love isn't- - Yes, I know. I'm sorry I was so rough. Well, I - I'm sorry I was so unpleasant. Mmm. I'm sorry that I can't think of a thing to be sorry about. Ohh! I suppose you've got friends and relatives back in the states. No. My husband's all I had. - Why do you ask? - Because we got a proposition to make. Yes? We know what brought you up here. We've known all along. I mean, old man Blake's claim. But how? How could you possibly know? Give me that map, Shorty. Yeah. Did you ever see this? Or, uh, something like it? Yes. Yes, I've seen the original. This won't do you any good. It isn't correct. I know it. That's why I was going to suggest that- My husband had to borrow and beg to make this trip. He went through all sorts of horrible difficulties and- I know. Well, now he - he's gone. That's why I was going to suggest that- And you were gonna take it away from him, steal it. Oh, now, please be reasonable. Why don't you come in with me and Shorty on this thing? Where our map is incorrect, give us the right route. We'll be partners. And, well, while you're about it... I suppose you may as well consider all angles. We need your information about this. We could probably find the mine ourselves without your help. It would take longer. Of course, you don't know us very well... except that we're a little rough on women. We might play you dirty. We might take your information and then tell you to, well, go jump in the river. We might do that. On the other hand, we might be on the up-and-up with you. Let me see your map. This river here - it isn't a river, it's a dry creek. - And that mountain peak, that's down here. - Criminy! That's it! Ha! All the other mistakes are minor ones. All right, Mr. Thornton, now you can tell me- How did you express it? To go jump in the river? We've gotta do a lot of jumping ourselves to get the 700 bucks for the outfit. - Seven hundred dollars is hard to get. - My, oh, my, oh, my. But we'll get it, if we have to take a knife, stick somebody and take it away from 'em. - Yeah! - Come on, Shorty. Mush! - Come on. Let's go. - All set. Keep your fingers crossed till we get back. We've gotta make a touch, Shorty. Something that means more to me now that just finding a mine. Yeah, I been noticing that. You're the doctor. You know what's good for ya. The way I figures it, hunting for gold's a full-time job. Anything that interferes with it, interferes with it. - What do you mean? - You know what I mean. Mind keeping that fat snoot of yours out of my affairs? All right, all right. No offense, boss. No offense whatsoever. - Where's Buck? - Hmm? Come on! My, oh, my, oh, my, oh, my! Can't you see that's poisoned meat? That's the second time he's attacked me! Yeah, he's crazy about you! Can't you see? Wait a minute, partner. I'll give you a chance to make some money. - I doubt it. - I'll give you $300 for him. - Ha.! - Five hundred. Nope. Not interested. I'll give you $1,000! That's a fabulous price to pay for a dog. I could get a team of six for that. What do you expect you'd do with him if I let you have him? Give myself the exquisite pleasure of putting a bullet through his head. Yeah, that's what I thought. No, thanks. I'm sorry I can't contribute to your fun, mister. Boo! What'll you have to drink, gentlemen? Well, Jack, my boy, how is tricks? Hello, Sam! How are you? Glad to see you. Sam, this is Shorty. - Hello. - Ah, yes! Just seen the argument you had with that fellow back there. - He doesn't seem to like your dog. - No, no. The dog doesn't like him either. Look, Sam, how you fixed? Uh, pretty nearly flat. But anyhow, I got enough to ask you gentlemens to join me in a drink. - Bourbon, straight! - Ditto! Likewise! Come on, boy! Come on! Schnapps? Well, Sam, here's to your very good health. - Skoal. - Prosit. You know, that's a lot of money that fellow offered you for your dog. Yeah? That's a lot of dog too. Ja! - Hey, boss, let's head for the hotel, huh? - No, no, no, not yet. Maybe somebody we know will show. Ole! Ha-ha! How are you? I got lots trouble. Nowhere I can get two dogs, cheap. What matter, huh? I got load of thousand-pound flour... I got to get over to 40-Mile Creek. Two of my dogs, they die. It's too big load for the other four dogs to pull. Quiet, now! Yo! That's one fine dog, mister! You want to sell, maybe? - No, I don't. - I'll say he don't! You know, that fellow back there... just offered him 1,000 bucks. - One thousand bucks? - Mm-hmm. What the dog do? Spit gold dust? He's the best dog you've ever seen. He could pull that load of yours without any help at all. - Sure! I'll bet you he could. - Well, he could. How'd you like to make a little bet on that, partner? Haven't any money to bet. I hear of one dog in Nome... he pull 800 pound. But he dies dead to do that. Ah, no dog can pull 1,000 pounds. It's impossible. Well, then it's impossible. Let's drop it. Is it all right to look at him, mister? It ain't every day we can see a dog that can pull a thousand pounds. Come on, boss. Let's get outta here. What's the matter, gentlemen? If I overheard correctly... the argument is whether or not this dog can pull a thousand pounds. I'm willing to bet a dollar a pound he can't. He won't bet. Says he's broke. I don't want money from you, my friend. If your dog is able to do it, I'll give you the $1,000. - If he can't- - Well? Why, then, I'll take the dog. No. Say, that sounds fair to me. Mister, you wouldn't want to own a dog that couldn't pull a measly thousand pounds. - Sounds like an easy way of making money to me. - Sure.! First he shoots off his mouth. Then he won't go through with it. Well, my friend, these gentlemen seem to think I'm giving you the best of it. Don't do it, boss. Let's go outta here. A thousand dollars. It's a bet! It's a bet! I think you make one big mistake, mister. But, well, we go outside. - Thornton's crazy! - If Jack says his dog can do it, he can do it! - Ten-to-one he can't! - It's a bet! - Any more takers? - I'll take ya! - I got a poke that says you're wrong. - I'm right! - But it dies dead to do that. - The dog will do it! - Gee, boss, he can't do it. He'll kill himself trying. - Shut up. You're not only doing this for money. You're afraid of getting stuck here and losing that Blake woman. Oh, all right. Your dog is to pull the sled a hundred yards from the standstill. That's the bet. A hundred yards.! All right, all right! One, two, three, four... All right, get back. Nobody touch that dog. five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, one, two- Dog is gonna draw a sled. Just stand there. The dog will do it! It's plenty load for one dog to pull. The dog will do it! Five, six, seven, eight, nine- Keep your hands off that dog, now! You understand? Oh, I beg your pardon. Seven, eight, nine, a hundred. Go on, mister. We're waiting. Buck. Buck! Come on, boy! Come on, Buck! Mush! Come on, boy! Mush, Buck! Come on, come on, Buck! - Come on, boy. - Stay away from that dog! Buck, come on! Buck! Come on, boy! Come on, whitey! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Hooray! That dog done it. - He all right? - Hope so. Oh, I beg your pardon, old boy, but haven't you forgotten about the money? The gelt? Please. Mmm! Thank you, sir. - Oh, say. You know something? - Well? You'd make a good dog biscuit. - What's that, a halter? - Yeah. Hmm. Being as I'm working like a horse, I just as well look like one. There you are. Now hang on to this. Is that all? Did you remember nails? Nails. Hammers and saw. Look. You bought 'em yourself. What's the matter with you this morning? - Nothing. Get out. - Mmm. Oh, hey, listen- There's something we did forget - a medicine kit. We need some iodine and quinine, just in case. Yeah, all right. I'll get 'em. Hmm. I hope it won't be too heavy for you to carry. - See youse later. - All right. Say, uh, what do we need the nails and hammers for? Well, the snow's disappearing fast. We'll have to cache the sled later on and build a boat. Oh? Say, uh, look- Yeah? What is it? I, uh- I got something to tell you. Maybe you better take it sitting down. You know how I feel about women in this country. Where we're going is ten times as tough and rugged... - as anything you've seen up to now. - What are you getting at? Well, just this. I paid your room rent here at the hotel... and I'll leave you enough money for expenses until we get back. You mean I'm supposed to wait here while you and Shorty go- That's it. I've been wondering whether you'd try something like this. Well, if you're going, I'm going too. - You mean you don't trust us? - I mean exactly that. All right, Shorty and I will stay here. You go find the mine. - Oh, don't be smart. - Well, you're not going. Wouldn't be fair to you, or to us either. Slow us down to a walk and make us carry double provisions. Besides, it's more of a risk than I want to see you take. Believe me, that's my only reason for making this decision. If you don't like my way of doing it, do it yourself. - You can have my share. - Oh, so you're gonna give me my mine, are you? Well, thank you very much. You'll not leave this town without me. We'll leave without you. You'll wait here and like it. All right, come on. Let's get going. - How about the iodine and quinine? - I'll get them. If that female iceberg comes out and wants to tag along, smack her down. Wonder what's happened now. Oh, well. You know, I know a couple of people used to fool around like that... and they got children now. You, uh - You still want to go along? Not only do I still want to go, I am going. All right, come on. Let's get going. Come on.! Mush! Mush! Come on.! Hey! Hey! Come on! Mush! Mush! Mush! - What's up, Sergeant? - They just brought a fellow in. - Picked him up on the Skagway Trail. - What happened to him? It seems like he left his sled to go hunting for food... then couldn't find his way back. He was almost a corpse when they found him. - What's his name? - Well, we found these on him. Name seems to be Blake - John Blake, San Francisco. Here it comes. Say, it even looks like a raft. Thanks. I always wanted to join the navy. - Will there be room for the dogs, sailor? - I'm afraid not, matey. - They'll have to run along the bank. - Very well, sir. Be careful of that varnish on the deck, you two gobs. Step right in, commodore. All set? Shove off, cabin boy. Ca- Toot, toot! Hard aport! Come on, Buck. Come on. The way I figure it, we go 100 miles upstream... then we follow a creek that runs into it north. Huh! Never fails. Oh, you pretty things. That's right - north for about 40 miles. And then all we gotta do is- Oh, if you could only cook. Then all we have to do is find the knoll... upon which stands a tree, half-shattered by lightning. And the cabin. Near that knoll. Gee, I wonder what it's gonna be like... having things instead of wishing for 'em. Hmm. Not nearly so much fun. You're wrong, Claire. Wishing never got anybody anyplace. It's owning something that counts. Taking it when you can't get it any other way - that's all right too. It's the law up here - The law of the Klondike. When there's something you need, grab it. Take it away from the other guy. It's a good law. It works. Nope. It only works when you deserve to have what you take. Otherwise it's stealing. Perhaps that particular commandment isn't respected up here. They all get broken. That one gets splintered. Well, Noah... that boat manipulating's a little too tough for my delicate constitution... so if you don't mind, sir, I shall go below. Good night. - Night, Shorty. - Night. Good night, dice. Summer's just around the corner. I can smell it. You know, somehow Dawson and Skagway and... even California seem like places I've just heard of. Seems as if I've lived out here in this wilderness forever. Other people and other places... never existed. But there's one thing I do remember... and that's a very kind and wonderful man. I wonder what Buck sees in the fire. What are you thinking of, Buck? Well, he's probably remembering more than thinking. Remembering back to the time when he was more wolf than dog. When there was only one law- the law we were just talking about. It's getting late, Jack. Think I'll say good night. Not guilty, Your Honor. Cabin! - The tree! - The mine! Oh, boy! Hey, somebody pinch me. That does it. It's just as it was in the letter. My, oh, my, oh, my. I do declare. Hey! Hey, boss! Boss! Come here, quick. Hmm. Look at this. Oh, my. Oh. Lookit, lookit! Tell me if I'm dreamin'. Lookit. Holy mackerel. It's gold, Claire. More gold than I've ever seen in my whole life. Oh! Oh, be careful! Hey, if we panned this much in an afternoon... think what we'll get in a month. Gee, I wish I could stick around here a couple of days longer. You know, I been dreamin' of this moment all my life. I'm sorry, Shorty, but you got to file a claim. As long as the trails are open, some prospector is apt to discover this creek. First to register gets discovery rights. You're the boss, boss. - When I get to Dawson, first thing I'm gonna do- - Don't. - Don't what? - Get drunk. Not a chance. I'm gonna catch up on my meals. I like coffee, and my stomach's been getting weaker every day. Well, so long, kid. - Don't spend it all in one place. - So long. Well, good-bye, Mrs. Blake. Good-bye, Shorty. Come on, dogs. - Hey.! Hey, Shorty.! - What? You forgot your meal ticket. Oh! Oh, yeah. Come to papa. Snake eyes. My, oh, my, oh, my. I do declare. Well, good-bye. - Good-bye. - Bye. What's the matter, boy? Buck! Buck.! - What's biting him? - I don't know. - What's that, Jack? - Wolves. That's funny. They don't usually come so close to camp. Buck! Come here! Buck, come back here! If that's a pack, they'll kill him. Buck, come here! Buck.! He's been changing lately. Haven't you noticed? Seems as though he remembers things up here. Buck, come back here! Buck! Buck! Buck, come here! Well, well. Welcome, stranger. How are ya? Huh? Well, seems we still mean more to him than- than that old memory. Yeah. Hey, hey, wait a minute. You better come inside before you change your mind. Come on, tough guy. Come on. All right, kid, shake it up. Shake it up. Oh, that's grand music. Yes. That's grand music. Aw, that's grand music. Yeah. That's grand music. That's lovely. Come on. Shake it up. All right. You tired? Hmm? All right, come on now. Let's pull. Together. One, two... - three- - Oh! Well, we weren't together. - Oh, I wish you hadn't. - Why not? I haven't let myself think about us. - I didn't dare. - Why? Oh, I don't know. I- I've had sort of a strange premonition. I don't know exactly how to explain it, but- Explanations belong 5,000 miles away. I only have one question... and I only want one answer. You know the answer. I don't want to know the answer. I want to have the answer. It just struck me, Mr. Blake. Now my back please, Kali. I say, Mr. Blake, it's just struck me that so far... I've taken this entire matter on trust. I believed your story and put up the money for this outfit. I still believe your story, but I think it's time... you gave me a little more positive proof. You should show us the map, Mr. Blake. When I asked you in Dawson City to help finance me... I told you I knew the location of a very rich mine. I still know where that mine is. I'm taking you there. But the map, Mr. Blake- Why do you continually refuse to show us the map? I see. Well, what's to prevent our taking it away from you? The possibility that such a map may not exist- except in my memory. Violence will do you no good. You've come this far... and now there's nothing you can do but go all the way. You'll gain nothing... by killing me. Now, now. Who talked of killing? We're not pirates, my dear man. We are gentleman adventurers on the road to great riches, eh? Come, come, Kali. My towel. Say, Jack. - Buck's gone again. - Yes, I know. - I heard his lady friend howling last night. - Oh? Well, that's what happens to a fella when he gets in bad company. Mmm! Wait a minute. According to all you told us, and to all calculations... we should have located the mine two days ago. I'm afraid you're bringing out my worst side, Mr. Blake. - Yes, I-I know, but- - If you're trying to hoodwink us... we are certain to find it out sooner or later... and if such is the case... there is nothing left for us to do but mourn for you. I swear I'm doing the best I can. I followed the compass directions exactly. The burnt tree.! - The cabin! That's it! - My dear Mr. Blake... how can you ever forgive me for doubting your integrity? You've placed me in a most embarrassing position. I scarcely know what to say. One for the master. And one for the dame. And one for the little boy who's filing the claim. Why, Jack, I never suspected. The world doesn't understand me. At heart I'm an artist. Oh, I want to write poetry. I want to compose. I want to sing, paint. - Barns? - Yes, yes. Those too. I want to starve in a garret. Wear me hair long. Get egg on a flowing tie. In other words, be a genius. Ah - But no. No, the world sneers at me talent... and instead it gives me... gold. Oh, my poor boy. You seem to have all the comforts of home, Mr. Thornton- A comfortable cabin, golden evidence of more comforts to come... and a beautiful lady. You will oblige me greatly if you will assist... in making this incident as painless as possible. Come on, get it over with. What are you going to do? Do? My dear man, nothing at all. The important thing is- We're going back by water, Kali, using Mr. Thornton's canoe. You may destroy our burros. As I was saying, the important thing is to prevent you people... from filing claim on this charming site before we do. And how do you expect to do that? Oh, very easily- by leaving you here and destroying all means of transportation. - If you can't get back to Dawson to file, why, then... - you can't get back to Dawson to file, now can you? So we'll file instead. If you want to work the mine while we're gone... you're very welcome to do so, of course. We'll be glad to recompense you for your trouble when we get back. Meanwhile we'll take with us your gun and ammunition, axes, et cetera. It would be a grave error to leave behind... the implements for building another canoe, wouldn't it? Kali! Francois.! Kali.! Come here.! Look here, Smith. Why can't we do business? I'm always open to an honest proposition, Mr. Thornton. We'll give you the claim, all of it. You can have what gold we've got. But leave us some way of getting out of here. The winter snows are coming on. My dear man, you call that a business proposition? We already have the mine, and the gold is ours by right of- How shall I put it? By right of conquest. Do you mind if we don't argue the point anymore? Let's help ourselves. Mr. Thornton would only squander the gold. I must commend your sense of humor, Mr. Thornton. Very few people would be able to smile on an occasion like this. - Thank you. - Not at all. I remember watching a magician once. From an apparently empty hat, he shortly produced a rabbit. He smiled very much as you're smiling now... because, I imagine, he knew all the while... that he had that rabbit up his sleeve. You've something up your sleeve, perhaps. Perhaps. Roll up your sleeve, Mr. Thornton. There's no rabbit there. Come, come. Don't let's strain our friendship. Madam. Careful, you idiot. You might have split the bottom. We'll be back, my friends. For the time being, good-bye... and good-bye. Look out! Well, they wanted gold. Now they got it. Hey, Claire, get the medicine kit and some hot water. Is he badly hurt? Yeah. He's got a nasty crack on the skull. Some prospector, I guess. Go away, Buck. Get out of the way. John! John! Oh, John. John, darling.! Claire, dearest... I'd like to talk to Mr. Thornton. All right, dear. I thought I'd... lost you. Try to rest, please. He's feeling much better this morning. He remembers everything, thank heaven. It wasn't so serious as we thought. He wants to see you, Jack. What are you going to say to him? I wanted you... and I took you with us. Well, I'm keeping you. Jack. You know I love you, don't you? You couldn't doubt that, could you? Well, he needs me. You have your law and... I have mine. Best thing you can do, Blake, is to get out of here as quick as you can. You need medical attention. Take the canoe. It's easy going now, but it won't be when the heavy snows come on. Will you come with us? No, I'll stay here and work the mine. When you come back in the spring, we'll divide what I've found. I came to say good-bye to Buck. He never would have forgiven me if I'd forgotten that. Would you, Buck? You could have skipped that. You're only making it tougher on everybody. Oh, Jack, put your arms around me. Well, I'll be seeing you. Yes. You'll be seeing me. I'll be seeing you too. Every day and every night and every minute. This isn't the end. It can't be. Careful of that first stretch of rapids. After that it's clear sailing. Good-bye, Thornton. And God bless you. Good-bye, Blake. Good-bye, Jack. Good-bye, Claire. It's hard to say no to that call, isn't it, Buck? It's all right, boy. Go ahead. Shorty? - Yeah! - Shorty! - Hello, boss! - Why, you old son of a gun. You came just in time. You saved my life. Well, look at you. You're all dressed up. Yeah. We're in the money. I filed the claim. We're rich - Richer than Astor's pup! No trouble at all. I went right in and signed the names. - Oh, and the claim was- - Shorty. What's that? That's our new cook. - Where'd you get it? - I won it in a crap game. [Ann Sothern singing "I'm in Love All Over Again"] * I'm in love * All over again I'm in love * * All over again * Tell me what did you do You're better than you * * I'm in love all over again * * Got a trick * Of fixing your hair pretty slick * * The clothes that you wear * Baby even your kiss was never like this * * I'm in love all over again.. * [tires screeching] [people chattering] Here they come. That college gang is here. Half strength on all their drinks. [indistinct chatter] * I'm in love all over again * - Ted. - Get me my secretary. - Ah, here you are, Molly. - Hail maestro! - Hello, Jane. How are you? - Fine. - Your show was grand, Doug. - Did you like it? You've certainly produced the best musical done at college. I had a great gang. How about a dance later? - Certainly. - I'll be over. - You beautiful thing... - Uh-uh. Okay. * Aah I'm in love * All over again I'm in love * * All over again * Tell me what did you do You're better than you * * I'm in love all over again * * Got a trick * Of fixing your hair pretty slick * * The clothes that you wear * Baby even your kiss was never like this * * I'm in love all over again * * Even thought we try a separation * * Our little romance was growing strange * * When you floated back in circulation * * The situation began to change * * Here is my heart * All over again can't we start * * All over again * I just needed a shove * And heavens above * I'm in love all over again * * I'm in love * All over * Again * [crowd clapping] [instrumental music] * Palsy Walsy how're they treating' you? * [shouting] * Palsy * Walsy * Lend me your elegant ear * Met your darling mother your sister too * * They're young as ever and so are you * * Palsy Walsy * Fancy my meeting' you here * Are my senses leaving me and are my eyes deceiving me * * Why sweetheart, it's your uncle from Spokane * * Will you get off the floor * Please have someone show you out * * Before we have to throw you out * * You can't throw out your uncle from Spokane * * Mmm, that's what you think * How I've longed to meet somebody like you soon * * If I never meet you that'll be too soon * No! * Palsy Walsy * How're they treating' you? * Fancy my meeting you here * Palsy Walsy.. Let me throw 'em out. Did you ever play football? * Met your darling mother your sister too * * They're young as ever and so are you * * Palsy Walsy * How're they treating' you? * Fancy my meeting you here * [crowd applauding] You hear that? We're a hit. And to see, I owe it all to you. [applause continues] [clapping and whistling] [knocking on door] Who is it? [knocking continues] Hello, partner. 'Thanks. I'll wait out here.' Would you mind passing me out a chair? Hello. Will you tell the manager that one of those fresh college boys is annoying me? I'm the manager. Get away from that door! I was only waiting to take Miss, uh, Miss what's-her-name home. Or maybe she doesn't want you to take her home. Silly of her if she doesn't 'cause I'm a pretty nice fella and I think she's divine. 'Get out of here before I throw you out.' - Oh, you're gonna get tough? - Yes, I'm gonna get tough. - Well, start something. - That's just what I'm gonna do. [grunts] 'I'll drag you out of here by the neck.' Let go off my throat. Let go. Let go off me. Let go. Well, fancy meeting you here. - What... - Shh. [knocking] Hello, partner. "Breathes there the man with soul so dead "who never to himself hath said. You're an angel." That gives me an idea. I'm gonna write a little song about you someday. [clattering] Now, that's hardly a friendly attitude. Do you have to annoy me? I just dropped around to tell you I'll be back tomorrow night, and the following night and each consecutive night for an interminable period. I hope you enjoy the new show. This is my last night. Leaving us? Tch-tch-tch. Would you mind autographing this for me? Where did you get my picture? From a little frame out by the door. Oh, hold on, that's mine. Oh, well, I'd prefer whenever you're smiling. - Do you, ever? - Yes, when I'm amused. You know, I think I could use you in my fall production. I don't play animal-act. No, really. I'm putting on a Broadway show next season. You're putting on your show right now, and it's a flop. Wait a minute. I'll meet you out front. Hey. [laughing] I hope you make it in time for your fall production. How did I get in? Oh, man! Goodbye, partner. [screaming] Help! [intense music] [tapping foot] [swing music] - You're a college graduate? - Yes, sir. - Travelled here and abroad? - Yes, sir. - How many languages you speak? - Five, sir. Well, I think we can use you. Salary, 22.50 a week. - But don't you think that... - Report at 9 in the morning. Nine o'clock in the morning. Thank you, sir. [people chattering] This radio station is one of the largest enterprises of its kind. A Metropolis in itself complete with theatres stores, cafes, and offices representing every form of art and industry, employing an army of men and women. There are 1222 miles of hallways and corridors. 666,000 square feet of floor space and 1,000,283 separate and distinct articles of fabrication were used in its construction. So what! And now, we will enter the main broadcast auditorium. The Rex Hour is on the air, and absolute silence must prevail. [instrumental music] * I'm in love all over again * * I'm in love all over again * * Tell me what did you do You're better than you * * I'm in love all over again * * Got a trick Got a trick * * Of fixing your hair pretty slick * * The clothes that you wear * Baby even your kiss was never like this * * I am in love all over again * * Even thought we try a separation * * Our little romance was growing strange * * When you floated back in circulation * * The situation began to change * * Here's my heart all over again * * Can't we start all over again * * I just needed a shove * And heavens above * I am in love all over again * * Love is magic * What I know of it has me up a tree * * Love is crazy * After full of it what's come over me * * We both said goodbye and parted * * We agreed that it was there * * Now I've got to make up all of it * * Why haven't I confessed? * I'm in love * All over [banging on the drum] * Tell me what did you do You're better than you * [whispering] What do you mean by bringing those people here? Take off that uniform and get out. You're fired! You're fired. He beat you to it. Shh. Get those people out of here. [mark tree jingling] Oh, I beg your pardon, sir. Young man.. I'm looking for the Patio Bar. - Good idea. - Yes, indeed. - Hi, Doug. - Hi. Let me see, just-just where are we now? Hello, pop. I thought you were going to Patio Bar. Well, bless me, so did I. - What place is this? - Well, sir.. You're now in the locker rooms of one of the largest enterprises in the world. Complete with... - Yes, I know, I know. - If you watch closely you'll see a young man make a quick change and get out. Oh, you're quitting your job. That, in substance, is the idea, major. Commodore, Sir. Commodore Jason T. Thatcher. Commodore it is then. If you'll just port your helm and bear slightly windward, I'll slip into these stripes. I suppose you're going into a better business. Show business. Would you call that better? No, sir, I would not. You are talking, sir, to a man who has given his life's blood to the theater. There is no business so precarious - 'so uncertain of rewards.' - 'But think of the fun.' My young friend, it's a wretched business at best. It has nothing to offer a man without capital. But I can get capital. Eh, well, my boy, of course that puts a different face on the matter. It always does. Actually, the theatre offers a splendid opportunity to a man with a small amount of capital. Ahem, now, by a strange coincidence, I happen to know of a play that's in production at this very minute in which a man could invest a few dollars and indubitably reap a small fortune. Uh, I say, ah, young man. Here, here. Father, where have you been? Have you seen a young man that just changed his pants? - His pants? - Yes. I had him right in the palm of my hand and lost him. Confound the luck. But you can see him some other time. - I've got to find him now. - Oh, father, but... Oh, there you are. Daughter, I want you to meet one of my oldest and dearest friends, mister, uh-uh.. Tyler, Douglas Tyler, I'm delighted Miss Thatcher. How do you do? Ah, Mr. Tyler and I have a mutual affection, my dear. - The theater. - Oh. Ah, shouldn't we be going, father? There's no hurry. I was just about to ask Mr. Tyler up for dinner. But we have such an early dinner. Then we should get started, don't you think? Why, by all means. Oh, look here now, Tyler, that's taking an unfair advantage. - There you are. - My guest you know. Oh, I'm sorry, Commodore, I paid without thinking. Well, it's a bad habit to get into. Quarter's a bit down nothing elaborate you understand but cozy. A little teaser to loosen us up a bit. Thanks. Now, let me see just when did you say this money would be available? Hmm? Money? Oh, the money. Anytime. Tell me, um, did Miss Thatcher go out? No, no, no, she's about somewhere. - Sit down, my boy. - Thanks very much. Now, as I was saying, the production, Hooray For Love is taking on fine shape. Fortunately, the producers are two of my oldest and dearest friends. And, uh, ahem, I may be able to persuade the boys to part with a small piece of the show. Mind you, I said I might be able to. Chop's coming right along, my dear? - Yes, in a moment, father. - Uh, may I? - Thanks, I think I can manage. - Ah.. Charming girl, your daughter. Nice of you to go to all this trouble for me. Oh, anything to make you happy. (Tyler) 'It's a special ambition of mine to feature you' 'in my first production. Or did I tell you.' (Patricia) 'Yes, I think you did.' Sorry, I'm already rehearsing in a play. - What kind of a play? - A musical called Hooray For Love, if you must know. Ooh, Hooray For Love. Good show? (Patricia) 'Surely not as good as the one you'll produce, but it'll do.' Huh, hot. Careful, not too much salt. - You don't like salt? - Hate salt. You forgot this little corner over here. Thank you. Tell me, uh, is the young one mine? How did you guess? Mr. Ganz, do you recall telling me the other afternoon when my daughter was rehearsing that you could use some additional money? Whether you like it or not, you'll be in my fall production. - Bet you my high head I won't. - It's a bet. Ganz, I've got your man. Shrubbery and ground's all in good shape. - What rent is it bringing in? - Just enough to pay the taxes. But it's a valuable property. Surely, you could loan me 15,000 on it. You know, Douglas it was father's wish that you keep the place. Yes, I know. I hate to take a chance on losing it, it's all I have left. But I've got to have the money. But the theater business is an outright gamble. Anything is a gamble to a fellow who doesn't know his oats. But I think I know something about the theater. There's a wide difference between college plays and Broadway productions. But one has to start somewhere, and there doesn't seem to be any room for me at the bottom. So I'll start at the top. Alright, take your positions, girls. Music. [piano music] Come ahead. Wait a minute, where's Gambarelli? She's supposed to enter with her father. (male #1) 'She's coming.' Well, tell her to hurry up, Mr. Ganz is waiting. I'm afraid you won't get much idea of the number this way. We expect it to be one of the highlights of the show. Chowsky, explain how you're putting it on. With pleasure, Mr. Ganz. The setting is a magnificent art saloon with terrific big pictures all around, very lovely. Gambarelli is coming with her father to sell his paintings. I see. Visualize it, Tyler. With beautiful costumes and a full orchestra. [slow-paced orchestral music] [music continues] [music continues] [music pauses] [music resumes] [music pauses] [music resumes] [music pauses] [music resumes] [music intensifies] [music pauses] [music resumes] [music pauses] [music resumes] [music pauses] [music resumes] Splendid! Splendid! What do you think of it now, Tyler? Uh, shouldn't Miss Chummy appear for Mr. Tyler's benefit? You see, uh, Judge Peterby owns a small piece of the show. I've contributed, not only in the shape of money but also in the shape of, uh, Miss Chummy. - Like it? - It looks pretty good. We have enough capital for a good show but we wanna put on a great show. Your 15,000 would allow us to do it. Hmm, well, I feel it needs certain changes. Now, the Bill Robinson number. I think if you played that in a street in Harlem, you'd get more out of it. Good idea, we'll use it. Right Grady? Right. Miss Chummy brings a new personality into the theater. Uh, my advice would be to accept the boys' generous offer, Tyler. You don't have to sell me, Commodore. All I wanna know is, will I have a voice in the production? As a partner, you'll have as much to say as Grady and myself. They've adopted a little idea of mine, Tyler. - Let's sign the papers. - You're using good judgment. We'll go right up to the office. Alright, we can rehearse Miss Chummy now. Aah! (Commodore) Mr. Ganz, Mr. Ganz? We may as well adjust our little business now. The understanding was that I was to receive 10% if you recall. Uh, 10% of the show. No cash, Commodore. Oh, but confounded, sir, I insist upon the cash. I'm not putting money into plays at my age. Well, if you'd prefer $1500 to a possible fortune it's alright with me, Commodore. Uh, Regan? Yes, Mr. Ganz. Has Bryson called about the ticket buy? - 'Bryson? ' - Yes. He was to call and make an offer for a block of seats for six weeks. Uh, let me see, um 300 seats at four dollars, uh, $1200. Multiplied by eight, uh, $9600. Multiplied by six roughly, uh, $58,000, uh... Pardon, pardon me, Mr. Ganz. On, ahem, on second thought I may take an interest in the show for my percentage. I'm not in need of cash at the moment and it may offer me a bit of diversion. Well, now you're talking. Come along, Commodore we'll fix you right up. - Are you alright? - Mm-hmm. Oh, I feel fine. You see, Trixie, now that this young Tyler has brought more money into the play I shall arrange for you to have more to do. - And you may become a star. - A real star? A great star. Possibly as big as-as a planet. Well, where is she? Where's Miss Chummy? Well, I've called her twice, she's over there with the judge. Tell everybody else to go home, I'll attend to her. Okay. Alright, Miss Chummy we'll go through that new number you've been telling me about. - I brought my own piano player. - You wouldn't trust ours, heh? Yes, but he knows all my routines. He does, huh? Mm-hmm. [wailing] Listen, being that it's a new number today just for the sake of novelty, please try to sing the same notes what he plays. - Alright, ahem. - Music. [clears throat] [falsetto singing] What have you got in your mouth? Firecrackers? Must you give out with that shrill gargling? Well, I'm a dramatic coloratura. Coloratura? Music. [piano music] * Fluttering chirping birds of spring * * Come back to your home in the north and sing * [falsetto singing] What do you think you're doing now? - 'Singing.' - Who told you? Here, here, none of that. Give the little girl a chance. Remember, Rome was not built in a day. Please, please. Not too close to the artist. My dear Miss Chummy, straighten out your tonsils and try to... Mr. Chowsky, I can't sing if the atmosphere isn't cogelial. - The atmosphere isn't what? - Cogelial. Not only sings a broken melody but speaks a broken English. - Music. - Winter. * Winter has passed, oh winter no more * * So way up in the sky you can soar, can soar * [yodeling] * All is such a.. * And you are free * To build your nest. Wait a minute. What's that business with the tangled digits? I'm building a nest, you see it's all symbolical. I see. - Music. - Flying. * Flying and floating rest on your wing * * Just joy and happiness around you bring * [piano music] - Do you have to dance also? - I gotta show my versatility. That's versatility, huh? Yes, you can never tell what I'll develop into. You should only develop into double pneumonia. Here, here, here. Sweetheart, is he annoying you? Well, no. No one beneath me could hurt me and no one above me would hurt me. What a beautiful sentiment. Now, you let her finish. Music. Cooing. * Cooing, billing birds of spring * * Come back each year and sing and sing * Cooing and billing birds of spring, come back and... Pardon me, something is bothering you? - I forgot the words. - That's fine. * Oh that is what he taught me to.. * * Spreading sunshine and gladness * * And teaching lessons of love * Fluttering, chirping birds of spring * [yodeling] [yodeling continues] What a lovely pizzicato. To you, that's a pizzicato. To me, that's a pizzinati. I know, music. [yodeling] All my life, I've looked forward to America. I suffered fire, floods, pestilence, and starvation to get here. And when I arrive, what does America give me? - A hillbilly. - Oh. Now, you see what you've done? I warn you. Any more insults, and I take my money and Miss Chummy out of this production. Wait, to compromise, just take out Miss Chummy. Ignoramus. Hold it. (Douglas) Stand right where you are. No, I mean Miss Thatcher. Mm-hmm, in something of silk. Hurry up. Get to the funny part so I can laugh. The funny part is, I've won your high hat. Off with it please. Tell me more. You are now talking to one of your employers. The young man with a fall production, remember? Oh, yes, that is funny. Where would you get money to put into a show? Well, young lady, I'll tell you. The only thing ahead was the old homestead in Connecticut. So I put a plaster on it. You trying to tell me you mortgaged something to buy into this show? Any law against it? Did my father talk you into this? The old gentleman with a lovely daughter? (Patricia) Answer my question. Well, being my oldest and dearest friend he was kind enough to introduce me to the producers. 'Ah, just a minute.' - You owe my a high hat. - Sue me? Oh, hello, my dear. Just sitting here anticipating a few small profits. Your rehearsal go well? Father, you got him to put everything into this show. But, my dear, I did him a great favor. The show unquestionably will be a tremendous success. I know you expect it, but what if it isn't? Well, I didn't mean any harm. I didn't know you were interested in him. I'm not interested in him. But why do you do such things? But, my dear, I was just trying to earn a small pittance. At somebody else's expense. Well, I've done the wrong thing again I suppose. I know I haven't been much of a father to my little girl. More or less of a reprobate I guess. No tragics, father, please. Oh, I'm an old rascal, and it's a fact. I've been a burden to you all your life. But it isn't to late to right matters. I shall square everything with one magnificent gesture. 'Though it means putting my head in the pillar, eh.' I shall do it. Father, what are you talking about? I'll marry the duchess. You're not going into that duchess routine again. - This time, I mean it. - She's a very nice woman. A little kittenish perhaps, but you'd be lucky to get her. But then, you wouldn't marry anyone you think too much of your freedom. No man should ever marry a woman unless he can't do without her. And I can do without the duchess. So that's out. Well, one thing remains. From now on, I shall stand on my own feet. [thumps cane] [orchestral music] [music continues] [melodious piano music] * You're an angel * You're so understanding * Think of heaven handing me * A dream like you * You're an angel * You're an inspiration * What a combination * You're a sweetheart too * Makes no difference where I look * * You're all I see * Close as pages in a book * That's how we'll be * For * When you taught me * What my heart was made for * * I got what I prayed for * You're an angel * Very lovely.. - Like it? - You're amazing. Produce plays, direct, write songs, even sing them. Well, think of my an inspiration. Regan, where's Mr. Ganz? He and Mr. Grady are in Atlantic City, Judge arranging for the opening. Don't worry, my pet. If Chowsky won't rehearse you today I shall have him discharged. [whistling] Can't you see I'm busy? The Judge wants to talk to you. Pardon me. What are we going to do about this Chummy individual? We can't allow her to sing. The minute she opens her mouth, the ushers will open the doors. That's where you're wrong, Chowsky she'll be the biggest laugh in the show. - But she takes it seriously. - The audience won't. Tell her her number's in. [sighs] Go on. Alright, dearie, let's try it. Start from the first. [piano music] * Never felt so humbler to me * So completely awed I couldn't speak * * Never knew a heart could beat this way * * When we meet this way * Can I help * But say * You're an angel * You're so understanding * Think of heaven handing me * A dream like you * You're an angel * You're an inspiration * What a combination * You're a sweetheart too * Makes no difference where I look * * You're all I see * Close as pages in a book * That's what we'll be * For * When you taught me * What my heart * Was made for * I got what I prayed for * You're * An angel * Dear. And so, my dear duchess. Tomorrow, I may be in possession of the city and its treasures. - A theatrical titan. - Not really, Commodore. Success is in my very grasp. - Confounded flies. - Tell me about it. I have invested practically everything I have in a theatrical venture which is certain to make millions. Millions, duchess. Do you know, Commodore, since you've called me duchess when others address me as Mrs. Schultz. I positively shudder. Yes, I can understand that. Now, as I was saying... But let's not talk anymore of money. There are so many more important things. - Name one. - Well, happiness. There are times when I feel I could trade all my wealth for just a sip from the cup of dreams. For a cottage, small, by a waterfall. You're so understanding. Uh, tell me, what is your opinion of the privileges of love? - I'm in favor of them. - I mean.. Do you think a woman in love is privileged to speak her mind? How can you stop them from doing it? Pardon, my dear, I feel the need of a cigar. [jazz music] - The check. - Uh, yes, ma'am. I'll take care of it. [music continues] - You may keep the change. - Thank you. We must go now, my dear, pressing business engagement at the theater. Waiter, check if you please. Never mind, I paid. My dear duchess, why are you always paying the check? It's deuce and embarrassing. Anybody think we were married. Oh, Commodore, what are you saying? Oh, come, come, we must be dashing. [engines revving] Taxi. [car honking] Drop you at the theater, Commodore? No, my dear, just a bracer from here. I shall call for you opening night and escort you to what no doubt will prove to be one of my greatest successes. Until then, au revoir, my dear. - Set right, cabbie. - Bye, goodbye, Commodore. - Ah, Chowsky. - Please, Mr. Commodore. Ah, what's the trouble, what's up? I'm going to drown myself in a sea of vodka. Pleasant death, any particular reason? Particular reason? It is the end of Chowsky. Read that. You know, I'd like to say something big and brave right now but.. I can't think of a thing. How about this? (Patricia) 'You may be down but not out.' Sharp one. Well. There's, um.. "They think they have me licked, but I'll show 'em." Here's one. "In the fell clutch of circumstance "I have not winced nor cried aloud. "Under the bludgeonings of fate my head is bloody, but unbowed." Magnificent! You display a bit of histrionic talent there, my boy. You should have been an actor. Of course, I perform best in my native surroundings. - You know, the open fields. - Oh, I hate the country. - I'm afraid of wild flowers. - Yes. I've heard that one. Tell me, were you ever born in a big white house surrounded by a high green hedge? With an orchard, a patch of woods and a natural spring. - 'Yes.' - No. What? No big house with little thatches growing all around it? There's nothing like going out in the morning and picking yourself a nice fresh bunch of thatches. Boy, am I glad I got rid of that house. And now, you haven't a care in the world. No. If this hadn't happened I'd never discover what a sap I am. Oh, yes, you would. - I would have told you. - Yes, I suppose so. We won't have to put up with each other any longer, will we? - Yes. - I was afraid of that. Now let's see. No house, no show, no prospects. Don't I get anything out of this? [clears throat] Might just as well smoke a doormat. You don't happen to have a new cigar about you, do you, Tyler? I'll, uh... I'll walk out and get you one, Commodore. - Uh, no, no, no, don't go. - 'It's alright.' I feel the need of a short walk anyway. - I don't want to trouble you. - No trouble at all. Doug. Yes. You know, this is only the beginning of all. Patricia, it was hardly my fault. No one could have foreseen that Ganz and Grady would... But you didn't know those men. You did it for what you get out of it. With his interest at heart. I felt it provided an opportunity for him. I really did. You have my word, dear. Your word. What good is your word? What's he gonna do now? He's lost everything he had. No great amount of money, Patricia. Oh, it isn't the money, father. He had dreams. They're gone, perhaps... perhaps even his faith in himself. - Everything. - But the boys is young. I'll think of something. - I'll find a way to help him. - Oh, don't talk to me. I don't wanna hear any more alibis. I don't wanna see you. Oh, I didn't mean that. I don't know what I mean. Well, I understand. I-I have failed you. - But if I could make amends.. - Oh, what could you do? I might be able to arrange backing. So he could go on with his production. Father, where would you get any money? I'll get it... someplace. [ship horn blowing] Jason, when is the captain going to marry her? As soon as we're upon the high seas. - You have the license? - Right here in my pocket. Though I understand, we won't need it. While we are waiting, couldn't we go some place and snuggle? Snuggle? Yes, I believe it is customary. I suppose we go on the deck and into the matter comfortably. I'll get my wrap. There we are, my sweet. Bermuda. We'll ride bicycles and everything, won't we? I myself prefer a horse and the open range. With the vine fanning my cheeks. And the stars for me guide. What was that, Jason? - What was what? - What you just said. I don't know, my dear. I'm afraid I wasn't listening. [ship horn blowing] The pilot boat. I must get this letter off, my dear. You'll pardon me. You'll hurry back, won't you, Jason? I'll be back before you can say abracadabra. Abracadabra. Have you tried the cut-rate ticket brokers? I've tried everyone. Everywhere. Nobody wants to put money into a show with a black eye. - Oh, if father only had... - Your father isn't responsible. I went into the show because I liked it. I thought it had good possibilities. It's no great tragedy. There'll be other shows. But what about now? Well, I'll get some kind of a job and start up the old road again. (male #2) 'What's the assessment, my good fellow? ' (male #3) One forty, sir. Here you are, there's five dollars. You keep the change. Thank you, sir. And buy yourself a haircut with it. Ah, there you are, children. Father, where were you? I've been worried to death. Serving our noble cause, my dear. Here, just feast your eyes on that. Fifteen thousand! Well, who's Magenta P. Schultz? - Why, that... - Father, how did you get it? When I told the Duchess the predicament we were in she insisted on helping us out. - Insisted? - Yes, my dear. Insisted. Ah, there's a woman for you. Isn't it splendid? Come, come, my boy. Reassemble the cast. Order the costumes, strike up the band. The show will go on. [laughing] [mumbling] Abracadabra. Abra.. Abracadabra! Abracadabra! Here's your money. We're having a dress rehearsal Monday afternoon. - The scenery must be there. - I doubt if we can finish it. That gives us only three days. You've got to finish it! The show opens Monday night. - Oh, alright. - Fine. Here you are. Now remember, we must have the costumes Monday morning. [snaps] - What about those amber spots? - 'Right away.' They should be on when the curtains come through. Do you realize we open tonight? - What's next? - The Bill Robinson number. Off with the footlights. Johnny, take your curtain cue from the music. Alright shoot. Ready! Take it away. [fast-paced music] [music continues] [fast-paced music] [peppy music] [knocking] Come in. What's the matter, honey? What are you crying about? Tell the man. I can't pay my rent, Mr. Mayor. And they put me out in the streets. Well, child, that ain't nothing to cry about. Look here. Here you got an apartment, right smack on the corner with the highest ceiling in Harlem. 'Look at that electric light.' 'Why, you even got running water.' Ah-h, child, with that smile you got everything. 'Why, you're the richest gal in Harlem.' What do you care about being outdoor? What will I do when it rains? If you insist on being inside, go in and tell that landlord.. ["I'm Livin' ina Great Big Way"] * You got a snap in your fingers * Got that. * And a rhythm in your walk. Got that too. * As the elephant say I'm livin' in a great big way * It's all the way you look at it, you know. * Got a handful of nothin' Why, you're a rich millionaire. * But I watch it like a hawk. True mama. *Well, I'm doin' okay * *I'm livin' in a great big way * Tell that to the landlord. * I'm the salt in the ocean * I'm the sun way up in the sky * Oh, no. *I'm a Franklin D. Roosevelt * *I'm a million dollars * * Long as I got a snap in my fingers * * Rhythm in my walk. Oh. * Got the devil to pay * Living in a great big way * Got a snap in my fingers * Got a rhythm in my walk *As the elephant say * * I'm livin' in a great big way * * Got a handful of nothin' Yeah, but you watch it like a hawk, honey. [feet tapping] [tapping continues] [feet tapping] [tapping continues] [piano music] [tapping continues] [music continues] Did you hear, what the lady said? Not exactly, what did she say? She said * I got a snap in my fingers. And. * And a rhythm in my walk. You don't tell me. * As the elephant say * I'm livin' in a great big way * Oh, get away from here. That's too much. * I got a handful of nothin' What? * But I peep at it like a hawk. Peep at nothin'? * I'm doing okay livin' in a great big way * Tell me more. Tell me more. Listen here, sir. * I'm the salt in the ocean. Mm. * I'm the sun in the sky. Mm-hm. *I'm a Franklin D. Roosevelt * Not the President? * I'm a million dollars * Long as I got a snap in my finger * Don't stop. * And a rhythm in my walk. Get away from here. * I got the devil to pay I'm livin' in a great big way * - Let me tell you something. - What is it? * Got a snap in my fingers. 'Yeah, yeah.' * Rhythm in my walk. No, no. *I'm doin' okay living in a great big way * *Got a handful of nothin' * Quite right. *Watching like a hawk * 'No, you didn't.' * As the elephant say * I'm livin' in a gigantic colossal way * * I'm the salt in the ocean * I'm that sun up in the sky * I'm a Franklin D. Roosevelt * I have a million dollars as long as * * I retain that snap in the fingers * * And the rhythm in the walk Oh, dear * Not yet. - One day. - Mm. Ah. Another? - What the hell is that? - Get it down you. Is there no chance of them getting back together? Mum and Dad? No way! #... around me # Inside I'm feelin', oh, so cold # Oh, yes... So, tell me about London. I don't see it. Underground most of the time. Underground? Er, yeah. I'm a tube driver too. A writer who also drives a tube train, eh? Very glamorous. Research for your novel, I suppose. Yeah. That's right. It's all about a tube driver. Handsome, comes to the Lake District, meets this feisty, young girl who gives him a really fucking hard time, and they get drunk. Oh, yeah? How does it end? Tragically. Oh! Hello, Paul's phone. No, I'm sorry, he can't get to the phone right now. Can I take a message? Oh... OK. Bye. Some foreign bloke says he makes tasty crackling and you shouldn't be afraid. - What's that all about? - It's... just... a mate. He's a chef. Wants me to try a new recipe. See? I don't know any fancy foreign chefs. Don't tell me it's not exciting living in London. It's not exciting living in London. - Oh, come on. It must be. - It's not. It's like some huge ant hill where nothing works properly. Millions of people just getting in each other's way. No space, no air. So, why don't you leave? I'm trying, but it's hard. With money it's bearable, but if you're skint, you're trapped. Try living here. Everybody knows you, knows everything about you. Nothing changes, nothing ever happens. Their idea of a good time is getting shit-faced as quickly as possible and then shag anyone who'll let them, and then do it all again tomorrow. Now, that's being trapped. To escaping. To escaping. And a big, fat win on the lottery. - What? - I was just thinking about Wicklow. What about Wicklow? When you disgraced yourself running round half naked? No, not that. The singing competition. Oh, you were a star that night. My Rosemary. First prize. - Sing for me, Rose. - Hm? - Sing for me. - Get away out of that. - Do you think I'm the Rose of feckin' Tralee? - Go on. Please. I can't, Tommy. Jesus, it's been years. Course you can. You've a gorgeous voice. Please. For me. Not like that. Do it properly. Like you did in Wicklow. Now, go on. You're a menace, Tommy Cassidy. # Oh, please ne'er forget me... #... Though the waves now lie o'er me # I was once young and pretty # And my spirit ran free # But destiny tore me from country and loved ones # And from the dear land # I was never to see # A poor immigrant's daughter # Too frightened to know # She was leaving forever # The land of her soul # Now, that's all you're getting. It's more than you deserve. Beautiful. - I can die a happy man now I've heard that. - You'll outlive us all. Only the good die young. - Quiet, isn't it? - It's the country. - It's always quiet. - Yeah, but... it's a bit creepy, really. Yeah. Where were you planning on staying tonight? Or weren't you? Ah... You know... I'll find somewhere. I'll sleep in the car. You know me. I can sleep on a rope. You're a feckin' torment, Tommy. Well, look at that sky. Look! - There's a shooting star. - That's a satell... A satellite, yeah. I know. I was just checking. # I saw two shooting stars last night. - # I wished on them... - #... but they were only satellites # It's wrong to wish on space hardware # I wish, I wish, I wish you'd care # I don't want to change the world # I'm not looking for a new England # I'm just looking for another girl # Thanks. Come on. Let's get home. No, Tommy. - You smell gorgeous. - I said no. You know you love it. A bit of the old Tommy magic. It doesn't work anymore, Tom. Shit. Ooh, shit! Wait... Why me? - 'Cause you're different. - OK. # My love, you got me spinning like a wind-up toy # Hot kiss, won't you tell me what you miss, boy? # My love, you got me spinning like a wind-up toy # Oh, Father! I pray to thee! # I got a man, so blind I can't see # I'm his favourite toy Like a beach ball # Bang it up and down Or throw it against the wall # "Oh, Tallulah," he said "You're so dramatic!" # "What's all that shakin' goin' on in your attic?"... #... My love, you got me spinning like a wind-up toy # Hot kiss, won't you tell me what you miss, boy? # My love, you got me spinning like a wind-up toy # You can't knock it, or rock it, or be-bop it # It's an itch you can't scratch Nothing's gonna stop it... Oh... you're up. I thought I'd bring you a cup of tea. Er... come and sit down, Tom. There's... something I'd better tell you. I'm going to divorce you, Tommy 'cause I want to get married again. He's... He's a good man. He lives in the next village. He's a plumber. Oh, come on. You didn't think I wanted to grow old on my own. Well, speak to me, then. I'll bring this in to Frances. She'll probably be glad of a cuppa. - Frances, can I come in? - No. Go away. Oh, please. Hear me out, Frankie, will you? I brought a nice cup of... - Did you listen? I said no. - Please. I just want to talk. Huh? Here... I don't know where to start. Er... Maybe I should let you talk. You tell me what you feel - and... and... and how I let you down. - Please, not now. Right, right. It's not my call. Er... Erm... the thing is, Frances... I hate meself for what I've done. Much more than you ever could. You know? I know that doesn't change anything or make it better... God, I'm terrible at this! All I want to say is... I've been... a terrible father... but... that doesn't mean I, er... don't care or... feel... What the fuck? Jesus! You... Get out! Get out! - Get out of my room! - Stop it! - Don't start! - Get out! He was in the bed! I don't care, don't even... - What do you mean? - Paul! Bastard. Oh... oh, fuck! Come back, you little bastard! I'll take a fucking bar to you! Good morning, Father. I'm gaining on you, you little fucker! I'll rip your fucking head off, you little bollix. Oh! Jesus Christ! Tommy, let's just talk about this. - Be reasonable. - Oh, I'll be reasonable. I'll be very reasonable. Ha! I've got you now, you little shit. - You're the one that said "seize the day!" - Seize the day... not me feckin' daughter! You weren't that bothered two days ago. She won't even talk to you. Jesus... I could kill you! Oh, fuck! Oh, shit! Oh, fuck! Don't drop me! Please, don't drop me! Me own fuckin' daughter! What's so fucking funny? You! Us! Life! Life... huh? Is that what you call it? Start leading one, instead of following one around. You're the one who's topping himself. Like you give a fuck. - You never even asked me why. - Because I don't care. Think you're the only one who's ever screwed up? Well, boo-hoo-hoo, Tommy. Life sometimes sucks and that's that, but not all of us have so much self-pity we need to kill ourselves. How the fuck would you know? With your head stuck up your arse all day! How the fuck would I know? 'Cause I'm standing on a bridge in the middle of fuck knows where, covered in cow shit, fighting a fat, old Irishman dressed in a kimono. And all because his daughter hates him and seems to quite like me. Come on. Budge up. Come on, now. Come on. Here. For fuck's sake. Hey! Where are you going? Eh, Paul, wait! Wait, you fucker. Wait for me. - You can forget about tomorrow. - Good. - Find some other poor fucker. I won't be there. - So? - Fuck you! - No, fuck you! Tommy, you're an arsehole. Tommy? That's so childish, mate. That's... Tommy? Tommy, mate. Tommy. Oh, fuck. Don't do this to me, Tommy. Tommy! All up! Don't let them see me like this. Rose and Frankie. - I'm serious. - All right. OK, OK. He's in the hospital. I'm off to see him now. Well, I'm not going. OK. If he thinks having a heart attack can make up for... Well, he can think again. Maybe you should go and see him. - Why? - I don't know. You never know when you'll see him again. Like I care. What if something happens? What if it was the last time? - I'll see you later. - No... you won't. - I will, I promise. - No. I mean, I don't want to. Oh... - OK. - Just go, Paul. Well. I'd better get off. You'll call and let us know how he is? You'll see that he's all right? Look out for him? - I hardly know him, really. - Promise me. So say it. All right. I promise. Where the hell have you been? - How's it going? - Great. You brought me gear. You have to stay in overnight for observation. I'm not staying here all night. No, I've things to do. You just had a suspected heart attack. Lie down. Heart attack, me arse. Just a touch of angina. More lively than usual. You're staying here. What's it to you? Please don't leave me here, Paul. Please. You stay here. OK. That everything you wanted to say to her? Let's go. - It's because you're ill, isn't it? - What? That you agreed to... You know. I never heard of someone killing themselves because they had angina. But it's not, though, is it? It's not just angina. So, what is it, then? - What? - All right, it's not just angina. So, what, then? It's terminal. That's all you need to know. I don't want to die in some piss-stinking nursing home, surrounded by people dribbling and making farm noises. Whether I've got six months or six years, it's not gonna be some fucking golden age. It'll be shite. Every day worse than the last. I won't have it. I'm going out when I say, not when they decide to pull the fucking plug. I'm a stubborn, selfish bastard. I wanna choose when I die. Therearewarningsofgales in Forties, Cromarty, Forth, Tyne, Dogger, Fisher, German Bight... Change of plan. Oh, look, Paul... no. Wait... listen... - Eh! How are you? - All right, yeah. It's not too loud, is it? Not at all. I just figured, you know, if you can't beat 'em I'm like a big shark. Shark. Yeah? I stop swimming and die. Oi, come on! Hey! C'mon! # If I should fall from grace with God Where no doctor can relieve me # If I'm buried beneath the sod But the angels won't receive me # Let me go, boys Let me go, boys # Let me go down in the mud Where the rivers all run dry # This land was always ours Was the proud land of our fathers # It belongs to us and them Not to any of the others # Let them go, boys Let them go, boys # Let them go down in the mud Where the rivers all run dry I should've come up before. Paul, have you got the keys? - You're not going yet, are you? - Yeah. Better get some sleep. We've both got a big day tomorrow. Don't tell me you've forgotten our little arrangement. I'll see you at six minutes past ten. All right? - Goodnight. It was great. - Thank you. Sweet dreams. Tommy, wait. - I can't do it. - Course you can. - A deal's a deal. - No, Tommy. - I promised Rosemary. - What the fuck did you tell her? Nothing. She asked me to look out for you. That's all I'm asking you to do. Look out for me. And when you see me, don't stop. That way, you're not breaking any promises to anybody. Tell me, Paul... What? Why do you want me under your train? It's just... I've had... two people die under my train this month. Jesus, you're a serial killer! No. They weren't my fault. They got this rule. If you have three in a month, they pay you off. Ten years' wages. Lump sum. Mm... What were you planning to do with this pay-off? - Buy more books? - Get out of London. Go and live in Scotland, on an island. - Get away from everything. - Really? Life in the fast lane get too much for you? Youth is wasted on the young. You know, somebody famous said that. - What were you planning to do on this island? - Write, I guess. Write? What about? You've had no life! Anyway, it doesn't matter. I don't want it anymore. I didn't know you before. You were just some bloke. But now... We're friends. I think. I don't want to do it. The money's not important. It might not be to you, but it is to me. I want some of that to go to Frances. Ten grand. Look, Paul, son. If this weekend showed me anything, it's that I want some good to come of my passing. Now, if I jump from that bridge, the only thing I would've left behind was a traffic jam all the way up to the Angel. This way... I get to give something to me little girl. That's something I wasn't able to do when I was alive. And you'll get your money. Everyone's a winner. - Now that's how I want it. - For fuck's sake, I don't want the money! I'm an idiot. I didn't think things through. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it's not. It's crazy. I can't do it. I won't. Do you know how many nights I've stood on that bridge? How many times I've... climbed over and stood on the parapet and... wanted to jump, wanted to end it all? You want the truth? The truth is... I'm a coward. I'm fucking scared. I need your help. I need you to be there for me. The only way I can do this is if you help me. You said we were friends. Mm? Then help me to do this. Please, Paul. As my friend, all right? AmanfromNorthLondonisin intensive care following a bizarre attempt to cook and eat his own body parts. Believed to be a native Frenchman... MydearestFrances I know you're angry and hurt. You don't want to hear anything I have to say. I don't want you to feel bad for not speaking to me. I don't blame you at all. And, of course, you're right. I don't expect you to understand why I've done the things I've done. I don't even understand them meself... though me pals Arthur Guinness and Jack Daniels might have an idea. Anyway... I need you to know it was never my intention to hurt you. I've been stupid, and selfish, and pig - headed. I don't have much to show for me time... except you. And I couldn't ask for more. Look after your mother. You don't need me to tell you she's one of life's good ones. Far too good for someone like me. Tell her I'm pleased about her and the plumber. It's handy to have a man with a trade about the house. She deserves a bit of happiness. I know I was never the father you needed or deserved, but you will always be my beautiful girl and I will always love you. Always... always... always. He still had six weeks in solitary. If people don't respect the law, what have you got? Anarchy, mob rule, and mice in your garibaldis. What are you going on about? You think his mouse brothers come and busted him out? Mind you... I think I can see a tunnel. Ooh... Back already? Ahh... there's your culprit. - A bleeding' heart liberal like Paul. - What? Yeah, that's it. He's got the hump about that three-and-out thing, and he's come down here and he's let Mickey have it away on his toes. That's your man, Victor. He even looks guilty. It was a joke. We were having a laugh. What you talking about? You know. The rule, the big game, three and out. - What about it? - You know what? I think he believed us. You knew it was a joke... a wind-up, didn't you? What? You actually fell for it? If it was true, everybody'd be looking for somebody to run down. You didn't believe us, did ya? No. Course not. You know what? Maybe it wasn't him what let that mouse out. Thistrainis nowreadyto depart. Stand clear of the doors, please. Jesus, Tommy. No. Please! No! Train208,is thereaproblem? Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. A deal's a deal. Come on, Paul. For God's sake, hurry up. Train208... Come in, driver. Driver 208. Animal on track. Line clear. Proceeding now. You stubborn, old bastard! Deal's a deal. "I will arise and go now and go to Innisfree, "And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made; "Nine bean rows will I have there, a hive for the honey bee, "And live alone in the bee-loud glade. "I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow, "Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings; - "There midnight's all a glimmer... - Nooooo! "And evening full of the linnet's wings..." # When you're down and troubled # And you need a helping hand # And nothing, oh, nothing is going right # Close your eyes # And think of me # And soon I will be there # To brighten up even your darkest nights # You just call out my name # And you know wherever I am # I'll come running # To see you again... Pack your bags. There's something we've got to do. #... If the sky above you # Should turn dark and full of clouds # And that old north wind should begin to blow # You just call out my name # And you know wherever I am - # I'll come running - # Running, running # To see you again # You just call out my name # And I'll be there, yes, I will # You've got a friend # You've got a friend # You've got a friend # You've got a friend #Just call out my name # You've got a friend # You've got a friend # You've got a friend # Somebody help me, yeah # Somebody help me now # Won't somebody tell me what I've done wrong? # When I was just a little boy of seventeen # I had a girl She was my queen # She didn't love me like I loved her # Now I know # Now I'm so lonesome on my own # Somebody help me now Somebody help me # Somebody help me, yeah Somebody help me # Somebody help me now # Somebody help me, yeah # Somebody help me now # Won't somebody tell me what I've done wrong? # What I've done wrong # All right... # Subtitles by LeapinLar Based on the life of Nolberto Coria Customers were witness to the havoc created. Some good Samaritans had to help her to get out of the vehicle because she was hurt. Some gangsters were about to die at the hands of an enraged crowd in Guatemala. The so-called criminals were whipped and had to walk naked on the streets as punishment. The crowd thought them guilty of extortion and robberies. Policemen and soldiers rescued them before they were killed. A substitute teacher gave a hard punishment to a six-year-old boy... Hello. Yes, madam. Yes. Yes, of course. Yes, of course! Tomorrow. Yes, madam. Yes. Goodbye. In Peru prostitutes and drug addicts were arrested. Many of those arrested are teenagers who inhale glue. Ready, madam. - Thank you, Guille, see you next week. Where are we going? - To see Beto. Good morning, Beto. - Good morning, madam. Open the curtains. - Yes, madam. Friday they are coming to see the house. - Yes, madam, I will be here. Here, Beto, these are from last month. Thanks, I didn't have anything to read. Trick or treat? I didn't realize it was Halloween. Do you want to see a real monster? Violence in Bangladesh left 50 people injured. Hundreds of demonstrators demanding electoral reform were evacuated with teargas and beaten by the police. Many ended up lying on the street covered in blood. In Australia, over a hundred soldiers had to... I don't think they'll sell it. - When do you think it'll get sold? It would be a miracle, it's been so long... Don't you get bored? - No. Can you come tonight? Okay. Bring some milk, I ran out. Okay, see you later. Bye. Good evening and welcome to The Bombay. The next song is one of my favourites. I hope you like it. And now a song dedicated to La Loba. No thanks, I'm done for today. The only thing we have left is our spirit and our wives, right? She applies the real ten Commandments: Give me, I need it, you have to, pay look, I like it, I want it, buy it and fuck you. You can't do anything about it. And when we get home tired and ask: How did it go? How was your day, honey? They are always grouchy and reply: Do you really want to know? No man! It's hard to deal with them every day. But that's how it is. We have to learn to live with it. Don't you think so, Miss? Hey, Beto! - Hello, beautiful! I don't get it. You live in this mansion and we have to fuck in this room. Did you like my stockings? Yes, they're terrific. I have really nice legs, right? Legs are not important. - Why not? Because it's the first thing I move aside. Well, fuck you. Next month I am going to buy another pair, but in red. Come with me tomorrow to the cemetery. You know I can't. I have to be with my family. And besides, your wife never liked me. Do you know how hard it is for me? I am leaving. See you next week. Why so fast? - Let's go please. Damn it! Tamales! - What do you have? Red and green. - How much? Only ten pesos. - Give me two red and two green. Here. Do you also want a sweet one? - If you can give me credit until next time. Thank you. In Colombia a ten month old baby died... of an infection caused by rat bites. The baby was malnourished and the mother informed... the authorities in her statement... that the baby's father committed suicide and left her alone with four kids. The 10 year old was buried. She was murdered by a neighbour who wanted to eat her The victim 's family friends and classmates were at the ceremony. The murderer was found guilty in the first degree. The criminals have not been caught. They decapitated two policemen in Mexico. The heads were found at a site where police had killed drug dealers. There was a note saying "learn to respect". Hey, beautiful. Hurry up, I'm getting cold! I can't, I ate too much. Yes, to Lézaro Cardenas. How long is it going to take? Okay. Bye. How much money do you think the old lady has? I bet it's a lot. - I don't know. Where were you, Beto? - On the roof, madam. Fixing some dampness. Do you have the mail? - Yes, madam. Do you like living here, Beto? Yes. I'm used to it, after so many years of being here. I don't know what's going to happen when it's sold or rented. Do you think there are many people living like you? No! Being indoors is very hard, now I am used to it. But the first days I felt it was very hard. Even the people who come to see the house ask me: "Isn't it scary?" No, I tell them. I don't hear the noises any more. I'm used to the strange noises. I'll come on Wednesday to pick you up to go to the market. A woman was kidnapped by her ex in California. He broke a window and pulled the pregnant girl out. The victim's nephew helped him and went with them. Their family thinks he was forced by the perpetrator, who is considered dangerous. Take this, Beto. Do you want to go to the hospital? - No, I just want to go home. Look at my eyes, Beto. Bye. May I offer you a drink? A friend of mine was driving a Tsuru thinking that nobody knew him. He was kidnapped, I don't know how much he paid. Now he drives an armoured Hummer with bodyguards. The dinner is ready, everybody to the table! Mom, what's going to happen to Beto? Do you know where I can find a job? Merry Christmas! Kids, before you open them, give the gifts to Beto and the maids. Here, Beto. - Thank you. That's nice, what do we have here? A shirt and a watch. - Terrific. Are they from you or from your mom? From Santa Claus. - Santa Claus! They're very nice. Thank you for giving them to me and to Santa because he sent them. What did he say? Here, give this gift to Beto? Yes. - Well, thank you. For Celi... Thanks, madam. Elvira... - Thanks, madam. Beto... Tomorrow I'll come to talk to you. - All right, madam. Merry Christmas. The new owners will move in next week. What are you going to do? I don't know. I want to help you, but I don't know how. I don't want to leave. You could remarry. I can't live with anybody, I am a weird man. So many years have passed. - Yes, madam, 30. Can you please leave me alone, Beto? Yes, madam. Hello, Too. Fine, and you? I am calling to ask you for a favour. Can you get a job for Beto? Yes, we all feel the same. Yes, I'll do that. Of course. I send you a kiss. Bye. One moment. We'd better go. Hello? Hey, Lupe! Why? Right. Can't someone else go? All right, I'll be there. Help the guy, fatso! - Again. I'm looking for Miss Guadalupe Mendoza. - Miss Guadalupe Mendoza? Yes, she's here. She was arrested for disturbing the peace and public exposure. You know, the community calls and we have to act, sir. How much is the fine? It's 200 pesos according to the law. She has to stay here for 24 hours. But if you want we can put her in a cell by herself. Shut the fuck up, whores! Guadalupe Mendoza? You're going to sleep in the suite tonight. Shut up! Shut up, you rowdy bitches! I want to tell you... I am a Christian now and... God spoke to me in many different ways. For instance in a dream. Now I ride a cab and I preach to the people, so to speak. I tell them to get closer to God. I tell them you can talk to Christ in different ways. And thanks to God I'm with him now. What are you going to do now? Can you come to the living room when you're done? Now that it's sold, why don't we use it? I'll be in the bedroom. Get away from the window. Why are we getting out through here? - They can see you in daylight. See you. Is there anything that you want to do before you go away? No. I don't think so. Our Father, Who art in heaven. Hallowed be Thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation a but deliver us from evil. Amen. Our Father, Who art in heaven... Our Father, Who art in heaven... Beto, give me a glass of water. I'm very tired. Right away, madam. I have a surprise for you. The house is not sold. No, it's not that. But don't worry. Here's some money. So you and another person can live comfortably. I want to thank you for all these years you took care of the house. I really appreciate it. Thank you. Lupe? Can you come to the house? Right now. But come in through the back door because the driver is here and he might see you. Yes. Okay. Hurry! Here. What's wrong with you? - I just want to be alone. A mother tried to kill her two daughters with prescription drugs. Mrs Cárdehas reports from Mexico this is the second case in less than a month. Hey, Beto! - Hello, beautiful! ...some good Samaritans had to help her to get out of the vehicle because she was hurt... Some gangsters were about to die at the hands of an enraged crowd in Guatemala, the criminals, as you can see, were whipped and walked almost naked on the streets as punishment. They were found guilty of extortion and robberies policemen and soldiers rescued them before they were killed. A substitute teacher gave a hard punishment to a twelve-year-old boy... Hello. Yes, Madam. ...yes of course tomorrow yes Madam goodbye. There is a new police operation against prostitutes and drug addicts in Peru many of those arrested are teenagers who inhale glue... Ready, Madam. Thank you, Guille, see you next week. - Where are we going? - To see Beto. - Good morning, Beto. - Good morning, Madam. - Open the curtains. - Yes, Madam. Remember on Friday some people are coming to see the house. Yes, Madam, I will be here. Here, Beto, these are from last month. Thanks, I didn't have anything to read. Trick or treat? I didn't realize it was Halloween. I don't have any candy but do you want to see a real monster? Violence in Bangladesh left 50 people injured... Demonstrators demanding electoral reform were evacuated with tear gas and beaten by the police. Many ended up lying on the street covered in blood. In Australia, over a hundred soldiers had to... I don't think they'll buy it. When do you think it'll get sold? It would be a miracle, it's been so long... Don't you get bored? No. Can you come tonight? Ok... Bring some milk, I ran out. Ok, see you later... Bye. Good evening, and welcome to the Bombay the next song is one of my favorites I hope you like it. Thanks... and now a song dedicated by La Loba No thanks, I'm done for today. The only thing we have left is the spirit... and woman, right? She applies the real Ten Commandments: Give me, I need, you owe, you have to pay, I saw, I liked, I want, buy it and you are screwed. You can't do anything about it. It's like when we ask forthe dinner, right? We are tired and we ask how is it going How was your day, honey? And they are always grouchy. - Do you really want to know? No man! It's hard to deal with them every day but it's life's circle; in which we have to live and exist, don't you think, Miss? - Hey, Beto! - Hey, beautiful! I don't get why living in this mansion we have to fuck in this room... Did you like my stockings? Yes, they are cool. I have really nice legs, right? - Legs are not important. - Why? Because it's the first thing I move aside. Well... fuck you. Next month I am going to buy the same ones but in red. Come with me tomorrow to the cemetery. You know I can't. I have to be with my family and besides, your wife never liked me. Do you know how hard it is for me? I am leaving, see you next week. Why so fast? Let's go please. Damn it! - Tamales! - What do you have? - Red and green. - How much? Only ten pesos. Give me two red and two green. Here. Do you want a sweet one? I don't have more money, but if you can give me credit until next time... Thank you. A ten month old baby died of an infection caused by rat bites in Colombia, The baby was malnourished and the authorities are questioning the mother she says that the baby's father left her alone with four kids. The funeral of the ten year old girl murdered by a neighbor who wanted to eat her body in Oklahoma. The victim's family and friends were at the ceremony. The murderer was found guilty in the first degree... Two criminals who decapitated two policemen in Mexico have not been caught yet. The heads were found... outside a govemment building with a note saying "learn to respect". - Hey beautiful! - Hurry up, I'm getting cold! I can't, I ate too much. Yes, to Lázaro Cárdenas. How long is it going to take? OK. Bye. How much money do you think the Old Lady has? I bet it's a lot. I don't know. Where were you, Beto? Yeah, it's really good. It's like... It comes out sizzling. Sizzling? Yeah, it'II... It'll save your life. It's amazing. Weird. It'll definitely help with physics. Hi. Hey. What are you gonna get? Hi. I didn't know you were... Didn't know you were working today. This is a surprise. Yeah, shift change. So, can I start you all, you know, with some water before I come and take your order? It sounds great to me. Yeah. Just water. All right. Just working on some physics here. So, we need some... That's your friend from school. Uh-huh. So, you're wearing a Mayhem shirt. I am. Yeah. Isn't the singer, like, a cannibal? 'Cause you're in, like, a Christian power metal band. Seems kind of weird. I don't know. No, actually that was just a rumor. But he didn't actually eat anyone. And Crucifictorious is actually... It's not power metal. We're more of extreme grindcore with like, heavy thrash influences. Like what thrash bands do you like? Like Napalm Death? Like the Keep? Like Cannibal Corpse? Carcass, I mean, I really only have two sections for vinyl. Like metal, non-metal. So... Right. Well, mainly... You all ready to order? Yeah. I want the sizzling apple pie. And I think also chips and... Oh, my... That's pathetic. I'm back at the start. What's up? Um... What's the matter? Sorry. I... That's haven't been honest with you about a couple things. Okay. I lied to you about babysitting my brother the other night. That guy at church was Tim Riggins. Mmm-hmm. We have kind of a history together. Okay, what kind of history? Get the door, Brian. Hey. Hey, I just came by to say that I'm sorry. Come in. Hey, Noannie. Didn't Mom ban her? Noannie, please. Just watch your show and be easy, all right? I just feel so bad about everything. I really cannot believe you had to apologize like that. I wish we could erase that whole day. It's gonna be okay. This whole thing gonna blow over. I was really worried about you. Smash always lands on his feet. Hello? Who is that? No. No, I don't. Who is this? Noannie, give me the phone. You guys are jerks. Stop calling here or I'm calling the police. Oh, my God. Who was that? No one. Noannie. It's just some idiots calling saying stupid things, okay? Like what? Brian, it's stupid. Like what, Noannie? He says he hears I put out to white boys. He calls here again, you give the phone to me. Do you hear me? Do you hear me? Yeah. This is all my fault, isn't it? No. No, don't you ever say that. Noannie, look. Look, this has nothing to do with you. Come here. Come here. I know, I know, I slept with my paralyzed boyfriend's best friend. It's the worst thing I've ever done. It would be great if you said something. Sorry, I'm just thinking how hard that must have been for you to tell me. And I'm really glad that you did. I just want us to be honest with each other. Do you still have feelings for him? Nope. No. No. Okay. Now let's go get some ice cream. Well... Just in a minute. Hey, Street, here comes your best friend. Oh, that's funny. Somebody's got to talk to him. Low man on the totem pole, that would be you. Hi there. Interested in a Malibu. Afternoon, Gerald. Oh, hey. How you doing today? All right. Just came to have a second look. Yeah. Can I ask you something, Gerald? Yeah. What's the problem exactly? Sorry? Why won't you let yourself have this car? What do you mean? What is it really? Is it that you think if you buy this car you're gonna find another car you like better elsewhere immediately after buying it? Or is it that you just think you don't deserve the car? Man, you don't know me. No, Gerald. Please, I'm not insulting you, so please don't take it like that, okay? I'm just trying to understand you. Because all these salespeople around here, take a look at them. They sent me over here because they've given up on you. All right? They sent me, wheelchair guy, rookie, low man on the totem pole to talk to you because none of them believe that you can pull the trigger on actually purchasing a vehicle. But let me tell you something, I know you love this car. You love this car so much that you come in two days a week. Two days a week to just look at it and then you walk out. Gerald, life's too short, man. Life is too short. Okay? Things change in an instant. Take it from me. Okay. So be a man. Take control of your life. Be a man. Buy this car. Show all these people that they're wrong. That you can make a decision. I'm gonna really think about it. No. No more thinking, Gerald. No more thinking. No more dithering. No more wasting everybody's time, especially your own. 'Cause that's what you're doing. You're wasting your time every time you come in here. Buy this car because you love it and because you want this car and you want to drive off this lot in this car today. Buy it. Okay. Okay. Mr. Garrity! Yes, sir. All right, Gerald over here would like to go ahead and start paperwork on purchasing this hybrid here. Yes, I would. Congratulations, Gerald. Congratulations. Well, thank you. Hey. Hey. So we made an A. Did we really? Yeah. Yeah. It's cool, right? Congratulations. It was the best grade in the class. Thank you. Also, I made you something. I sensed a bit of reluctance on your part to embrace the cheese that is power metal, so it's your very own power metal mix. Wow. It's actually... You said, "Parking lot mix" on here. It's like heavy metal parking lot, you know? Do I have to listen to it in a parking lot? No, cars, bedrooms, whatever. Bedrooms. Wow! Sweet. Whatever. Anyway. But it was nice seeing you. I'll see you around. Well, I appreciate it. Bye, guys. Yeah. Thank you. Cheers. No problem there. Wow. Soul mate, right there. God's little gift to Landry, that's what that is. Why can't you just be happy... Hey, Smash, you're on TV, homes. And I want to apologize to him and everyone for doing so. Anyone can say, "I'm sorry. " Doesn't mean they are. Smash Williams is an arrogant, violent thug who attacked us just because we're white and have money. And everyone's defending him. He's lucky me and my friends acted civilized. And from the Smash Williams controversy, we go now to Kevin with the rest of today's sports headlines. Smash? Hey, what the hell are you doing here? Looking for you, man. Did you see Adam Hughes on TV? Do you want to respond... No, you're trying to get me in trouble! I'm just trying to get the truth. Hey, hey! Tell him the truth, Smash. Just shut the hell up! Just shut the hell up! Smash, what happened that night? Was your sister hitting on him? Is what he said true? Hell, no, that's not true! That's not true. All right, look, I'll tell you like this. He was saying some foul things to my sister and I. Racial, sexual and threatening. That's right. Now, if somebody comes around your little sister and starts talking like that, you just gonna stand there and smile? No. You're gonna ask him to stop, which I did. And if they don't stop, what? You're not gonna do anything? So are you saying you should not have apologized? Not the way he's talking. So that's a yes? He didn't deserve an apology. He deserved worse than what I gave him. I should've messed him up worse. And with that latest salvo from Smash Williams, it appears the Dillon Panthers problems are far from over. Turn it off, will you, Crowley? Hey, hey, hey! Hubby's home. How was your day, darling? It was... It was good. It was good. I sold a car, so... What? You did? Out-freaking-standing! Oh, man! You did! Whoa. So, what? You're like, you're like a car salesman now. You're like Willy Loman! Yeah, you a salesman, huh? Yeah. I guess I am. Hey, man. It's all good, right? Look, you get a little money in your pocket. Nothing wrong with that. Just for now, right? Plus it's always good to have a roommate that can pay his half of the rent. Hey, what do you say you and me head down to the rec center? Got a pick-up rugby game going on. Then afterwards, maybe go get me some ribs, some corn. Some hot chicks. Maybe she got a friend for you. But one of them ugly ones. Buck-toothed and, you know, just got the fangs. Got the fangs happening, huh? Know what? Yeah. Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah? Just give me a couple minutes to change and then we'll head on out. Oh, dinner's on you tonight. You still owe me... I think, what is it, $19.40? Oh, you're serious about that? So... Yeah. Dinner and girls. Both on you tonight. No, the girls will be on me. I... Brucey, Moreno, Lung-Dog... I mean, all those guys started investing a couple months back. They're doing well. I mean, so... Like, if those idiots can do stuff in the stock market, why can't I? Oh, my God, what are you gonna... You're gonna apply your grade nine education to the stock market? I'm not... That's... Shh. Yeah. Go. Be quiet. Hey. Sorry. You okay? Yeah. Yeah. So, what's up? Tim here? Billy. Yeah. Came to bring you this. What's this? It's the money you owe those guys. I don't want you to get beat up again. I'm not bringing you into this. You're not bringing me into anything, Tim. Is this why you came over? Yeah. And I'm not... I'm not coming back here anymore. Chris makes me happy. That's it. I'm not taking it. Okay. All right. Nice, y'all! That's the way! That's the way! Good teamwork! You all need to call it! Watch that hole in the center, okay? You all need to pick that up. Hey, time out! Time out. It's looking great, girls. They're double blocking me every time. That's okay. No, they've figured out our move. No, they did not. Now, don't you act like this is luck. This is not luck. You all are doing a great job. We are kind of lucky 'cause their star hitter's out sick. TAMl: No, you all are playing a great game. You're playing a great game. I want you to keep it up. I want you to keep it simple and remember, you are playing this game and you are winning this game because of your teamwork. You are a team. You work together. And you, you just focus on that Riggins. You slam it down his throat. You all got it? Get out there. You know you can do this. Let's go, girls. One-two-three... Panthers! TAMl: That's you. All right, girls! That's what I'm talking about! All right, keep it together! Keep it together! You had fun, right? Good job! Good job! How about that? So what? They're like, what? One and seven now? Why you got to be like that for? Mom is one and one! The team is one and seven. It's one and 0! One for one! Ready? Hey. What's up, boys? Let's just get this over with, all right? Here's your money. How you doing, Billy? It's good to see you. All right, it's all there. I'll see you around. Now, just come on in. Let's count it first. Make sure it's all here. If you got the money, we're good. It's all there. Just bring it in, man. Okay? I wanna make sure I got my money, so come on in and count it. One hundred, two, three, four five, six, seven, eight, nine, we're up to a thousand? Yeah. There's one. Twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, two thousand. Getting closer. What's wrong, Tim? You look a little depressed. Okay, can we just get this over with, man? Just count the money and let us get out of here. Hey! You wanna calm down, man? You would think I wasn't the one that got ripped off here. Yeah, why don't you call the cops then, Guy? Ooh, good one, Billy. Three... Six... Twenty-nine. What do you know? It's all there. All right. It's taken care of and it's all paid up and he don't owe you a dime extra, all right? Billy, let's go. It's over with now. I don't want a dime extra. And you're not gonna touch him again. You hear me? I hope he doesn't give me a reason to touch him again and I hope you don't... I don't give a crap if he gives you a reason. You're not gonna touch him again, just say it. Billy, let's go. You need to calm... You need to tell your little brother... Listen to me, you fat son of a bitch! You're not gonna touch him again, you understand me? How's Jackie? You don't touch... Billy! Billy! You're barking up the wrong tree! Hey! Get out! You are barking down the wrong tree! Billy! Go! Jesus Christ, Billy! What are you thinking, man? Get in the truck! Barking up the wrong tree, Billy! He's got a gun. He's got a gun. Just get in the truck. Keep your little brother away from me. Start the truck. Start the truck. I'm trying! Gun, man, he's got the gun! I know, Billy, I'm trying. Just go! What were you thinking? Come on in. Coach got something he wanna tell you. The board called. They've decided to suspend you for three games. Suspend me? But they can't do that, can they? They can and they have. Is this 'cause I told that reporter the truth? Baby, that didn't help. That's the rest of the regular season. How the hell we gonna get to the playoffs? How we gonna make it to State? I'm sure there were moments, when King Arthur regretted pulling the sword from the stone. But he never gave up his quest. So why did you? Or have you already found the traveler that you and the less fortunate members of Veritas were looking for? The traveler. Why doesn't it surprise me that you've fallen for Patricia Swann's vivid imaginings? I didn't imagine the deaths of Virgil Swann or Oliver Queen's parents. You think I can control the fate of individuals? You give me too much credit. You certainly controlled mine. It wasn't an accident we were in Smallville the day of the meteor shower. The factory was just a cover. You were really there to meet this traveler that Veritas wanted to protect. I remember evething, dad. Those are the memories of a small boy in shock trying to cope with the trauma of a meteor shower. A trauma brought on by my own father! My life changed forever that day. You sacrificed me for the traveler. Why? Who is it, dad? Who is it? ! What if I told you now, that you are the traveler? You're right. Your life truly changed that day. I told you in the helicopter that you were destined for a great future. That's why I've been so hard on you, trained you so relentlessly. Think, Lex. You have survived mortal injuries so many times. How else can you explain it? Because I was trained never to accept defeat. When I get my hands on that box in Zurich, I have a feeling all my questions will be answered. I know how strong it is... The attraction of the dark power. But it will destroy you. I can't let you go down that terrible path. I can't open it... because I need a second key. Give it to me. I've swept every possible place you could have hidden it. And I finally realized, there's only person you would trust it with. Yourself. If you open that box, if you get hold of that secret, there will be no redemption for you. No redemption. Ever. I was raised in your shadow. Now you're gonna die in mine. No one will even remember your name. I'm sorry, Clark. I traveled halfway around the world via satellite. There's no trace of Kara and Brainiac. I can't let Lana sit in that asylum in pain. Only way to help her is to find Brainiac. I've tapped every radar screen known to mankind. There's no bogey or blip unaccounted for. It's like they just flew off the map. What about Brainiac's power sources? Check the electrical grid for any power surges again. Stay focused, Chloe. Busy night out there. What's going on? Someone at Luthorcorp just jumped out their office window. Rumor has it it was Lionel Luthor. Let's go. I just talked to him. You said you were working down the hall from your father tonight? I heard him yell. Then he was gone. I know how difficult this must be for you, but I need a positive identification. Whenever you're ready. Thank you. You killed him? You killed dad? Not that I want to speak ill of the dead, but Lionel Luthor left a lot of damage in his wake. Remember he locked you in a kryptonite box? He did a lot of things, but he'd never commit suicide. I don't know about that. He was beyond disturbed - when he came to the Daily Planet today. - Doesn't mean he'd take his own life. He was rattled the last time I saw him. Desperate to give me something... A locket. What does a locket have to do with Lionel Luthor falling 40 stories from his office window? Mr. Luthor... I just wanted to tell you how sorry I was to hear about your father. When I was a boy... we took a trip together to Washington, D.C.... It was just the two of us. I thought I was just tagging along on another business trip, but... he wanted to show me the Air and Space museum. He knew I loved things that could fly. We were looking up at the Apollo 11 command module. I couldn't believe it went to the moon. My father held my hand. And he told me, "The right man, can make anything possible." You have his locket. How did you get him to... Lionel was a cruel, sadistic man. What are you suggesting? No one will ever know. I promise you. Where's the key? It was empty. My father must have given it to someone. I asked you to keep an eye on him. Lionel stopped by the Daily Planet before going to Luthorcorp. He was spotted in the basement. Get the helicopter ready. Of course. You killed dad for a necklace? You're not real. He was mean sometimes, but he loved us. Get out of my head. Get out of my head! You shouldnt have done it! I had no choice! "For Kal-El, in the event of my death." In my lifetime, I've known many famous and powerful men... Presidents, sultans, kings... and I believed that I was superior to them all. But I've come to know the truth, Kal-El. My greatest accomplishment is that I have dedicated myself to protecting your life and serving you. For that, I am grateful. But if you are reading this, it means that I cannot protect you any longer from a terrible truth. Two lockets exist... Two. Each one has its own key. These keys used together, unlock the secret of controlling you. You must find the keys, or your destiny will fall into the hands of another man. You must save yourself. What is it with the Luthors? I swear death follows that family around like a stray puppy. You're not gonna... I wanted to search Luthorcorp tonight for evidence that Lex had Patricia Swann killed. But you, genius that you are, wanted to stay here and... search through meaningless memos in Lex's office. So while we were over here, photographing everything but the bottled water, the story of a lifetime was happening right across the street. Take a look at the view. One of tonight's shots from Lex's office. What? The schoolboy crush is sweet, but you need to adjust your focus in more ways than one here. This is serious. Bodies are literally falling out of the sky. And we have the picture to prove it. - Lex's office looks out over Luthorcorp. - And? It's Lionel Luthor right before he died. What? No way. Creepy. I can't believe you got this. It's gonna get creepier. There's someone else in the room. Lionel Luthor might have been pushed. You think this blurry blob of pixel is the killer? Trust me. This has Pulitzer written all over it. What are you waiting for? Sharpen the shot. It's not that easy. My computer's not powerful enough. What about that heavy-duty hardware that Lana has stashed at the Isis foundation? Nice. I can upload this bad boy to the foundation's server right now and, if we're on Lana's system, we could use Chloe's mad skills with a CPU. That is, if we can pry her away from Clark. Chloe and I share the same DNA. Trust me, Jimmy... She is gonna want to be in on this. I'm so sorry about your father. Thank you, Chloe. He visited you here tonight. He really wasn't himself. I fear, in his deluded state of mind, my father disposed of some valuable family heirlooms. Did he give you anything? Other than the feeling that something was definitely off? No. He was here for a few minutes. - And to be honest, I got scared, so... - Have you checked your desk? He didn't give me anything. I swear he just came here to talk. This was my father's. I've never seen it before. - Why were you hiding it from me? - If I knew it was yours, - I wouldn't keep it from you. - Why would he even give it to you? Do you know what this key is for? Lionel wasn't in his right mind when he was here. I don't know why he left that. You're fired. Escort miss Sullivan from the building. Aren't you gonna give me a second to clear out my private things? Your personal items will be boxed up and sent to your home. Your name may be on the building, but that's my personal stuff. I got rights! If anything is missing, I swear to god, you won't hear the end of it! I'll pack up miss Sullivan's belongings. You go back to the mansion. Get some sleep. We did it, Lex. Lionel not suicide. Have Pic. Come to archive room. Jimmy. That's it. I'm leaving. I want to start working on this picture, but we haven't heard from Chloe yet. I really think that we should wait. News waits for no one... Not even Chloe. You texted her, you left her, three voicemail messages at the apartment. She's not Helen Keller. She'll get the message and meet us there. It wouldn't kill us to wait a few more minutes. I agree with Mr. Olsen. Why are we outside of the kitchen? It's a little late for a snack, isn't it? I've seen you around here before, haven't I? You work for Lex. He has nothing to do with this. I'm here about that photograph you took. Which photograph would that be? Because I take a whole lot of pictures. L. Luthor in his office before he killed himself. I want that photo destroyed. His death was tragic enough without it being sensationalized by the media. You could have said that before you broke out the heavy artillery. As soon as we saw it, I immediately jumped on the delete button. This is all a big misunderstanding. You're lying. I deleted it. After I saw your text message, I went into the mainframe and pulled it from your hard drive. But the transfer log shows you uploaded the file to a second server with a cloaked IP Address. I want to know where. - You shot me? ! - You weren't cooperating. - How about a warning? - Tell me or she dies. Where's the server? It's the Isis foundation. It's 3rd and Broadway. It's a 10-minute drive. I'll come back for you when I'm done. You're really bleeding. I guess... trying to take on one of Lex Luthor's fembots doesn't make me the smartest icicle in the freezer. Don't worry. I'm gonna get us out of here. Is anyone out there? ! Is anyone in there? ! Help! Can anyone hear me? ! - Jimmy and Lois here? - Not yet, but Jimmy's message said he already sent the files, I was about to get started. I got a message that Lionel left for me in his vault. I think I know why he was killed. He was trying to protect me. Lionel did say something terrible was coming. There's something on earth that can be used to control me. Control you? As in "do my bidding," like some sort of puppet? What could possibly pull your strings? I don't know. But whatever it is, it takes two keys to unlock. When I went back to the Daily Planet tonight, there was a key in my desk. Lionel left it there for you. Where is it? Lex took it. I was trying to hide it from him, but then... He fired me. Which is fine, because I wanted to get out of that black hole anyway, but... We don't have time to talk about my nine-to-five right now. You think that that mystery man was after the locket? I don't think our mystery man is much of a mystery at all. Considering Lex went to the Daily Planet tonight, same night that his father died, and fired you over that key. How long till we get an I.D. On this picture? Jimmy wasn't kidding when he said there isn't a lot of photo in it. It's gonna take me at least a couple of hours. Keep working on it. My father just died, and you're already breaking and entering? Lionel would never take his own life. I thought you'd at least try to offer some words of comfort. Get out. I'm not going anywhere. You can still be good. Tell Clark what you did. He's our friend. I'm not gonna debate my father's mental state with you. I'm grieving. I think you know what it's like to lose a father. Don't bring my father into this. Why not? Our fathers were a lot alike... Smart, strong-willed, and both died prematurely. You're right, Lex. Lionel did die too soon. I want to know the truth about how he died. The truth is... our dads were alike in another way. They both felt that you were the kind of son a father could be proud of. He would have felt the same way about you, if you would have tried. What happened to you? I did try, Clark. In fact, when we first met, you inspired me. All I wanted was to be your friend, but... you turned your back on me. So you're the person you are today because of me. I tried to be your friend. But all you care about is power and control. This is Smallville! Meteor freaks, alien ships, cryptic symbols! These threats are real. Someone had to take control. Someone has to protect the world. Listen to yourself. You're so caught up in your own delusions, you've lost track of reality. Have I? Then let's talk about something you can't deny. After years of pleading with my father to show me some compassion, he turned to you, with open arms. What would a worldly billionaire have in common, with a simple farm boy? Maybe he just knew he could trust me. Of course. Everyone can trust Clark Kent. You're the perfect son. So why did Jonathan Kent always seem so stressed? Was raising the perfect son really that much work? I wonder how much of a strain it put on his heart. Are you blaming me for my father's death? Are you? ! You're the guilty one, not me. And this time, you're gonna own up to what you've done. I know you killed Lionel. - Who's delusional now? - I have proof. You really did it, Lex. You in here? What happened? - You okay? - Somebody hit me. They destroyed the picture. But you were right. I saw the picture. It was Lex. When I went to see Lex, I found Lionel's locket. But without that photo, we can't prove anything. - What about the key? - I X-rayed the mansion. It's nowhere to be found. - Jimmy and Lois? Where are they? - I don't know. And I'm worried. The last I heard, they were leaving the Daily Planet. If whoever attacked me - followed the photo from there to here... - He may have stopped them from leaving the building. I got to go. If Lex has both of those keys, not only will he discover your secret, but he'll have complete power over you. That's not just your worst nightmare... It's everyone else's, too. Be careful. I've got an exclusive for you. When we get out of here Lois lane and, Jimmy Olsen are gonna be world-famous. Our name in lights. I can see it now. It's gonna be great. Lex. It's Gina. Please call me back. I found who you've been searching for. I know who the traveler is. After the funeral, I plan on taking some time off. Get the jet ready. Zurich. You can't run away. No matter where you go, I'll always be there. You can't get rid of me. You need my help. There's still good inside you. I know it. I don't want your help. Don't go to Zurich. I'm going. I have to. Dad was right. If you open the box, it will destroy you. It's all I have left. It's not true. You still have me. I'm done listening to you. You make me weak. Long night. It's good to see the sun again. It's too bad Lionel's not here to see it. Lex closed the funeral to any and all guests. In other words, Lex is the only one invited. Lionel deserves better. At least we know how Lionel truly felt about you. He thought of you as his second son. Another person who treated me like a son and died because of it. Jor-El died getting me on that ship. My dad died of a heart attack from the powers he took on protecting me. And now Lionel's been murdered for protecting my secret. They did die for you. But ultimately, they died for all of us. There was a reason those men were in your life. Each of them added something to the man that you are today. How can Lex have done it? How does a son... murder his own father? Total absence of love. Some say that's the definition of evil. You have to get those keys away from Lex, before he kills anyone else. He's not gonna have the chance. I won't let him. when king arthur regretted pulling the sword from the stone. But he never gave up his quest. So why did you? Or have you already found the traveler that you and the less fortunate members of veritas were looking for? The traveler. Why doesn't it surprise me that you've fallen for patricia swann's vid imagings? I didn't imagine the deaths of virgil swann or oliver queen's parents. You think I can control the fate of individuals? Oh, god. You give me too much credit. You certainly controlled mine. It wasn't an accident we were in smallville the day of the meteor shower, was it? The factory was just a cover. You were really there to meet this traveler that veritas wanted to protect. I remember everything, dad. those are the memories of a small boy in shock trying to cope with the trauma of a meteor shower. A trauma brought on by my own father! My life changed forever that day. You sacrificed me for the traveler. why? Who is it, dad? Who is it? What if I told you now that you are you traveler? You're right. Your life truly changed that day. I told you in the helicopter that you were destined for a great future. That's why I've been so hard on you, trained you so relentlessly. Think, lex. Think. You have survived mortal injuries so many times. How else can you explain it? Because I was trained never to accept defeat. When I get my hands on that box in zurich, I have a feeling all my questions will be answered. I know how strong it is... The attraction of the dark power. But it will destroy you. I can't let you go down that terrible path. You must not open that box. I can't open it... Because I need a second key. Give it to me. I've swept every possible place you could have hidden it. And I finally realized there's only person you would trust it with. Yourself. Lex, if you open that box, if you get hold of that secret, there will be no redemption for you. No redemption. Ever. I was raised in your shadow. Now you're gonna die in mine. No one will even remember your name. Smallville 716 Synchro : Flolo i'm sorry, clark. I traveled halfway around the world via satellite. There's no trace of kara and brainiac. I can't let lana sit in that asylum in pain. The only way to help her is to find brainiac. I've tapped every radar screen known to mankind. I mean, there's no bogey or blip unaccounted for. It's like they just flew off the map. What about brainiac's power sources? Check the electrical grid for any power surges again. Stay focused, chloe. Busy night out there. What's going on? Someone at luthorcorp just jumped out their office window. Rumor has it it was lionel luthor. Let's go. I just talked to him. You said you were working down the hall from your father tonight? I heard him yell. Then he was gone. I know how difficult this must be for you, Mr. Luthor, but I need a positive identification. Whenever you're ready. Yeah. Thank you. you killed him? You killed dad? Not that I want to speak ill of the dead, but lionel luthor left a lot of damage in his wake, clark. Remember he locked you in a kryptonite box? Lionel did a lot of things, chloe, but he'd never commit suicide. I don't know about that, clark. He was beyond disturbed - when he came to the daily planet today. - Doesn't mean he'd take his own life. He was pretty rattled the last time I saw him, too. He was desperate to give me something... a locket. What does a locket have to do with lionel luthor falling 40 stories from his office window? Mr. Luthor... I just wanted to tell you how sorry I was to hear about your father. When I was a boy... - Or a CD. You didn't know what to do. No, in homeschool club, you get tapes only. - So you never had a locker? - No. Or I got... I felt embarrassed. That's kind of the best part of high school. - Having a locker? - Yeah. - I never used my locker. - You see it on Saved by the Bell. I don't know if they can clear that, can they? - Can I say Saved by the...? - Saved by the: Yeah, you could say that. - This is amazing. - This is the greatest van in the world. - A lot of good times went down there. - A lot of mold. - Yeah. Lot of memories. - Joseph Middleton. Here's a tidbit nobody knows, including you guys. Joseph Middleton was my first casting director audition in Los Angeles. - Really? - Probably my last. - Was it for this? - Because it's offer only after that. - Oh, yeah. - Good one. - Good one. - And Aaron Yoo was deathly ill here... Oh, my God, yeah. He could hardly stand up. Yeah, poor Aaron showed up for this, just out of the hospital. He flew into town that morning with stitches in his side. - He had surgery on his abdomen. - He looks healthy as a horse but it's just good acting. - He's doing an amazing job. He's in agony right there, right? Like, he can hardly stand. - Yeah, we set up, like, a cot for him. - The deck chair. I use the "we" term liberally, because it wasn't any of us here. - Right. Yeah. - I brought him Jell-O. I specifically remembered making sure that he had a cot. I think he made that up, I think he wanted the attention. He totally did, he's such a drama queen. - He was a trouper, though. - I don't know how he did that... I think it really hurt him to sit and stuff so when he's sitting in the van, you know... But he never really complained. But look at the energy, just... I mean, when I'm in agony, I don't do stuff like that, normally. When I'm in agony, I make sure everybody knows that I'm in agony. Absolutely. Rule number one. - Hey, I'm in agony. - Sympathy. - put on some pants. - I like this tune. - Yeah, put on some pants. - I like this tune. - Yeah, put on some pants. - Ari, we are adorable. - Shut up, there we are. This is still all reshoot stuff. - All reshoots. - Oh, my gosh. Did you guys have to revisit anything to get back into character six months later? - No. - All me and Kat had to do is look deep into each other's eyes and then we were back. All we had to do was... There's some creepy old men teachers, like, going in and out of the hallways. Remember, when we were waiting to go outside? That was all we needed. - Alexis, in that outfit, is so adorable. - She's adorable in any outfit. She is. Damn her. I looked like... I literally look like a man who is... Like a man who's... A big man in this school uniform. I don't know what you're talking about. - Who invented that? - You're nuts. - Ari, you look adorable. - Oh, thank you, honey. And I look like crap. Fluffy. - Fluffy. Fluffy. - Fluffy. Fluffy. - Here we are, two girls... - Exuberant. ...off into the night. You just came out of that door looking like you're surprised that you came out of that door. - How did you achieve that? - What does that mean? You came out of the door like you didn't expect to. Maybe one of the one of the ADs just pushed me out. - Oh, right. - I didn't realize that we were rolling. Is it true that there's only, like, a few Yugos in the world? Here's a story: I hit my head here really hard. - It hurt. - Oh, Mike. - You'll see my head... - There we go. You can hardly tell, but I thought... When it happened, I was like, "Great, that'll look like I did that on purpose." And then you can't tell. It looks like I have a spastic neck movement. - Tom Richmond. - Tom Richmond. It hurt though, really. I think I was bleeding. I was actually bleeding from that. They had to put makeup on it. - Yeah. - Mike. For the rest of the movie, whenever you see me, I had makeup on. No, that's not true. - It's horrible. - Oh, God, that was real vodka. - It's a controversial shot. - Whose voice is that, Pete, yelling? That's Myron Kerstein, our editor's voice heckling Ari. Those are good names there: Adam Brightman, Nathan Kahane, Joe Drake. - We love Nathan. - All those names are good too. - Good names. - New York, we love. - That's a good couple of names. - Look how cute... Mike. I did not really drink alcohol in that previous scene. - I just want that to be known. - You did. You did. Okay, this is sexy. This was the original beginning of the movie. Right. This is how the movie was gonna start before we shot... Yeah, this was the opening scene. - Look at Rafi go. - People went bananas for Rafi. That's really Rafi's voice too. That's him singing. Although, we're not playing those instruments. He is the only one who's really doing it. I'm playing an instrument. - The love instrument. - Your body is your instrument as an actress. When we rehearsed this scene, before we started shooting it in Don Hill's and we were listening to that song, it was one of the most exciting moments of all... People love this song and they would, like, sing it between shooting it. This was the first few days of shooting in here. - Why isn't this on the soundtrack? - This was the first week of shooting. - We were all strangers. - It's not on the soundtrack? It's on iTunes. I'm gonna buy it. So, what are you talking about, Pete, with the stars in the sky or something? Well, in the title design, they drew little squiggles and stuff in the sky. I was waiting for it to happen, it already happened. If you squint really hard and do like this, you can see. - Okay. - It's similar. I don't think I ever closed my mouth in this movie. It's hard not to laugh when you're standing next to me with your mouth open like that. It's such a good choice though. This is the first thing we shot on the movie, this performance. - That's right. - The second thing was this scene... And then Rafi normally comes down and kisses a guy. It just cuts away right when it happens. And that guy was so excited. He had to kiss that guy and it didn't make it in. - They kissed a lot. - That guy was so excited when... We couldn't stop them from kissing after a certain point. Mike, I love your face when you do that. Your were so pissed. I like the Jerk Offs sign in the back. That's Lite-Brites. Those were some of my favorite things. Dave Doernberg, our production designer, dug out the Lite-Brite. - I love Lite-Brite. - He doesn't do that for every motion picture he works on. This is the first thing of our friendship that we ever filmed. Yeah. Watching this scene, like, this is where we all got to know each other. This is where l... I hadn't ever met Jonny or seen him in anything. And he didn't say a word in this sequence. He's standing in the crowd staring at Rafi, but I learned so much about him just watching him from the stage. - But you met him at rehearsals, right? Yeah, I mean... But still, you know, it was kind of... We were just acquainted. - Ari, look at us becoming BFF's. - I know. - I love that it's capsulated on film. - It's on film for... - That's an attractive looking face. - You're drunk. - Good look. - You're beautiful. Ari, when you... - Okay. - I love this. Have you been looking at me? "I've been looking at you guys. Have you been looking at me?" A lot of good practice. Flirting in college. It really helped a lot. And look at Jonny's bone structure. - Yeah. - Jonny has the greatest face. - Look at that. - Oh, mama. He's creepy. People keep asking me if Jonny's related to Josh Hartnett. - Oh, my gosh. - Really? I don't even really know the answer to that, I assume not. I don't think he is, but I can see why they're asking. - Just because they look...? - What is that? Yeah, they have similar bone structure. - came all this way to see me. Dude, don't give into temptation... I love your use of slow-mo, Pete. Good job there, Mike. That's not slo-mo, that Alexis' performance. Oh, God. You think it's easy to achieve that? - Damn. - Slo-mo acting. Damn lady. I just wanna say I feel like we set a ridiculous pace for this commentary and now we're all finding it hard to keep up. We realized this is gonna go on for two hours. It's a good thing that we have Pete's list of questions. My coffee is starting to wear off. Oh, my God. - This was shot in the studio... - Stage. This was the very last thing we shot. Actually, the very last thing we shot on the movie during principal photography was the moment... Was your orgasm. - The overhead shot on the couch. - Oh, that. But that morning, on day 29 of shooting, we shot this. I remember sitting there watching this because it was beautiful. - So this wasn't a reshoot. - Were you wrestling? - No, this is principal photography. - Right. - Were you really tickling each other? - Yeah, that was real tickling. I love this song, by the way. - This song by The Submarines. - The Submarines. - Great song. - It's a great song. I'm seeing some of the faces in the background and remembering all these people that we spent, like, two weeks with. There was one female extra that had a thing for Kat. - One female extra? - Just one. One that came up and said something, but half a dozen had their eye on you. A little, like, "Oh, yeah." There was one female extra, blond girl in a hat, female extra who worked her way into every shot in the first third of the movie. Really? You know what, I have to say it was a point of frustration. Because I felt like every shot we cut to, she'd snuck in there. We should call Rafi and see if he has anything he wants to say. All you have to do is put an ADR... Put an ADR line like, "Oh, the O'Malley triplets are here tonight." - Jeez. - They're all over the place. This moment was reshot. - Yeah, this was reshot. - That thing that just happened. Oh, yeah. Now, Pete, did we use the reshot kiss or the original kiss here? - We reshot the kiss. - The reshot kiss. - Okay, because there were a few... - Why did you reshoot the kiss? Because Rafi wasn't handsome enough in the background. If you look now, look at the face he makes. - Not handsome. - It is stunning. - Everyone's... - I mean, look at that. - He's all I can look at right now. - Look at those eyes. - Oh, yeah. - There we go. I love how my head is 800 times the size of your head. - That's a beautiful shot. - This is love. Love happening. - It is. - Look at those eyes. - Thank you, Tom Richmond. - Thank you, Tom. - Was that the blond girl? - She just walked by. Oh, man, I missed her. We go to the same dentist together. - Zac Booth is also very handsome. - Yeah. - It's true. - Everybody's handsome. - All the guys are handsome. - Good-looking group. - Zac Booth has incredible hair. - Yeah, he does. - I mean, a great guy too. - Look at that. It's kind of... See, there's no Rafi, because they knew that if you were on-screen, it'd be distracting. Look at your punim. - Oh, squeeze it. - Stop it. I wanna mention that Rafi tried to do a mean thing to me in Toronto. - Do you guys remember? - He did. That was uncomfortable. - Yeah. On-stage. - But I stopped it, didn't I? - There we go. - Yeah, he was trying to get me back... Oh, my gosh. - But, Mike, I averted your... - Yeah, you did. We were on stage doing a QA in Toronto and Rafi said: "Mike, sing that song that you always sang to me on set." And he was getting me back because of this prank we had played on him in Toronto. He was getting you back for the $20 prank? Yes, exactly. Oh, I felt... I was really... That was not a good moment. And he looked at me, like, the most sadistic look. Well, and then he got his, like, Rafi little-kid thing of like: "Mike, you did it to me." Hilarious. And then I played, like, mom. I was mom there. I was like, "No. Michael does not do it." - Yeah, that was nice. - Here we go. Bishop Allen. Oh, Mike. Oh, yeah, here we go. - Bishop Allen. - Tilt up. Tilt up. There they are. - Those guys were great. - I say hi and then they say hi. - This song was stuck in my head after. - Yeah, I love this song. It's a great song. It's a great song. - This is one of my favorite... - Is that her? - That was the girl in the background. - It was? Here's one my favorite Ari Graynor moments. Here it comes. What? Can we get a ride? - Oh, that's... - That's you. Is that "we"? Here it comes. Sorry, Tris, the car's full. - It is full. - Is she gonna hiccup or something? Are you mad at me? What I love about that is the gum that's... The gum is just about to fall out of your mouth. You look so messy. It's like Andy Capp. Remember the impossible, like, cigarette dangling? That's like you and the gum. Remember Dan Aykroyd in Ghost Busters with that cigarette? - He does that scene. - It's hanging vertically. I know exactly what you're talking about, when he finds Slimer. - How'd he get that cigarette to hang? - It's incredible. I'm glad that my life's insecurities of thinking people are mad at me got put to good use in this movie. - Yeah, it was such a good choice. - Oh, Ari. I've been thinking that a lot lately. The phone rings and, "Hey, we need to talk about something." I always have the impulse now of saying, "Are you mad at me?" If I had a dime for every time I say that in life, I'd be a rich woman. You haven't said that to me. You've only been like, "Do you love me?" "Do you still love me?" The answer is always yes. That's a pretty good one too, right there. Oh, my gosh. - That's hideous. - We were laughing filming this. Right? For some reason? - We were giggling. - Why were we laughing? Oh, it was when we were doing that shouting thing, which I can't say... I can't say because it's a bad word. Remember the high-pitched shout? Oh, yeah. Wait, I thought that was in the van. I think this is where it became invented. Unfortunately. - You off-duty? - This isn't a cab. Are you off-duty? I had laryngitis, remember? I was sick this whole time. You didn't sound like you during this. - During this stuff? - Yeah, during all this stuff. Aaron Yoo was really driving that van, by the way. Confidently. - It doesn't sound like I have laryngitis. - I don't think you sound that different. It's because Self, our PA from heaven, used to bring me hot beverages. - We miss you. - I love Self. - you two might get stuck. Having some trouble? Hey, I bet that wasn't looped. I was with Jonny... I was with Jonny during that moment. ADR. Whatever. I'm not trying to show off, I'm just saying. You know what though? This is bad because I'm loving watching this and not saying anything interesting. Don't look at it. - Yeah, look away. - I can't look away. Hey, I think I should... - This was freezing. - This is from cold. - This awkward... - It was really cold. It was, like, October, November in New York. We were all in these huge warming coats when we weren't shooting. Which almost made it worse because you'd get warm and take it off. That's true. Sometimes I'd try and not put it on to get used to the cold. This van smelled not like muffins. Oh, I liked the smell in that van. - It smelled awful. - It smelled like home. Like sad... It smelled like home when someone vomits in your living room and pees all over your carpet. Sometimes there would be phantom wet spots on there. Yeah. Well, there'd be, like, just a Coke can. Like, a renegade Coke can just standing there. Was that you? Just laying down your: Staking your territory? It's behind us now, we can talk about it. Ari, you're the cutest... Everyone I talked to says that you just steal everything and that you are just the best drunk anyone's ever seen. And that you are gorgeous and luminous, which is all true. - I look like a man. - A lot of extras. If you say that one more time, I'm gonna slap you across that face hard. Do it. There's no time like the commentary. Rafi and I were talking, like, kind of inappropriately. We didn't realize everyone was wearing their headphones between takes. Wasn't there a funny thing, when you first shot that scene that Pete didn't specifically say, like, don't lift up Kat's shirt. Oh, my God. When he thought there was a shirt under it. I totally remember that. Rafi thought there was a shirt under my shirt when we were rehearsing and lifted up my hoody, and there wasn't a shirt under my shirt. I have to say, though, they don't... Should I have to say, in a scene, that you should not pull up a girl's shirt? Don't pull up Kat's shirt in this one. I mean, am I supposed to say that in every scene? I made it seem like it was Pete's fault, but it wasn't. At least I was wearing a brassiere. - Rafi was hoping to catch a glimpse. - No, I don't think he was. - Rafi blamed it on his character. - Can I, like, reveal a secret? He was in character. This is embarrassing, but I wanna say it because you guys are here. After that happened, I re-created my crouch in my trailer pulled up my shirt to see what I look like. Re-created your what? I was, like, "I need do some crunches." - Oh, my gosh. - You are so much. - Oh, no. - That's what you do in your trailer? That's what I... I know, it was really insecure of me. I like this part, Ari. We should talk about this stunt, Ari. - Oh, God, is this the...? - I didn't not... - Well, I accidentally hit it once. - You hit your head once. - But there was padding on the door. - Should we talk about where this is? It's, like, Ludlow and Stanton. I didn't realize that my ass was gonna be... - Ari, your ass. - There it is. It's so beautiful. - Goddamn you, Kat. - Does she say, "My ass is in the air?" I remember you saying that. You really, really look like you... - Jesus. - You guys, I'm fine. That was like a big stunt, right? The timing of that was tough. With them pulling the door, and didn't it... It was tough and Ari ate that door a couple of times. Yeah. You're dedicated to your art. Was that a take where she actually hit her head? - I don't think so. - Looks pretty convincing. I think it's just the sound effect that makes it so powerful. - There they are, off into the night. - I'm actually driving. - Yeah, and... - It died a bunch of times. Do you have any assemblies of those takes in the blooper reel at all, Pete? - Of Mike stalling the Yugo? - Yeah. - No, I don't have them. - The Yugo just slowing to a stop. - No. - Are you doing, like, a blooper reel? - Yeah, we have a great blooper reel. - My God. I wanna see it so badly. - Click on over. - Stop this commentary immediately. - Hey, that was my hand. - Kat Dennings does her own inserts. Because nobody else can do it right. I don't think that my hand acting in the scene with the toilet ended up in there, right? That was cut? - No, your hand is... - When she looks in the hole and my hand goes over it. - No, that didn't make it. - They cut that out. - That didn't make it. - God, your fault, so hard. If anyone's gonna get raped in that van... And this is so... This gets a huge laugh. Sorry, I told you I didn't think that rape line was gonna work. Yeah. No, it's fine. Did you tell me that night? Yeah, because you guys started bringing the scene in... You started to re-create the scene and it was going really well but then that rape line I thought was never gonna work. It was never gonna play funny. But it's one of the biggest laughs in the film. I think that some people definitely won't like it. So I think your instinct was... - I was playing it safe. - Well, rape isn't a joke, Michael. - What'd you say? - Rape isn't a joke. - No. - It is in this line. It gets a big laugh, though. Hey, we're about to do... Oh, no, we're not. This, you're being pulled by a, whatever that's called, a dolly rig. - These guys are towing the... - Not actually driving. Is this the night...? Oh, no, that's gonna be in another scene. - Is this a real or fake background? - This is all real. - We're really being... - That's 1 st Avenue. I don't think we had a fake background in the Yugo, did we? No. Oh, except when I'm, like, driving into the city. - In the van we had a fake thing. - Seth Meyers. - And Lorene Scafaria, the writer. - Our writer. Screenplay writer. - She's so hot. - These guys were great. Some people don't realize that that's Seth Meyers, right, Mike? Some, yeah. A lot of people, actually. I've mentioned: "Yeah, Seth Meyers was the guy in the back." They're like, "No way, that was him?" - Wait, what were they like? - This was awkward. Like, "Wait a minute, no way. Seth Meyers? - That wasn't him." - Their mouths were making noises. - I'm like, "Why are you telling me?" - They totally made out, like, for real. This was an interesting biological experiment, to have them making out in the back of that Yugo for a whole night. - I think that's fake. - Yeah, they committed. - Something came over them. - Did they get pregnant that night? Their characters did. The characters got pregnant. Their characters did, they did. Sick. Was it awk...? Did they...? Like, when you guys would cut in between would, then, they sit on opposite sides? - No, we were all talking. - They were chilling. - Or were they still making out? - They were friends before this. So it was more comfortable than it would've been, I think. I don't think they were friends in italics. They weren't friends afterwards. No. Bet she was pointy. It was fun, though. I remember laughing a lot this night. And we went really late this night. I think we went till, like, 6 or 7. - Was this where you got carsick? - I think it was. - What do you mean? - Pete got really bad... Well, on this night we were towing the Yugo, and I was facing the Yugo. So I was driving backwards outside. It was about 15 degrees. And you had some bad food. It smelled like gasoline. And I think I ate some bad flan. - Yeah. - Bad what? You know, it's the old bad flan. - Flan? - Yeah. You never had flan? Flan like the pannacotta kind of flan? It's like the Mexican dessert. It's just like lard. - It's just like caramel flavored lard. - No, it's not. - It's like custard. - It's cream. - Yeah, it's delicious. - It's a damn flan. - I'm not saying that it's not good. - Okay, so did you get all...? I threw up on the process trailer, is what happened. - You did. - And I didn't finish the day. Christo Morse, our AD, saved me. He directed the last quarter of the day. Felt so bad. But, Pete, you were a trouper, though. Yeah, you lasted a long time, considering. I made it look... I puked with authority. - I thought it was directorial. - I thought it was good. Was it projectile, like that time when we put that hose up next to my face? If you look carefully at the windshield of the Yugo, I did hit it. - No, stop. - Pete, tell me what... - We should talk about this. - That look you tell me to talk about all the time, now you say it. This is one of my favorite moments, you're looking at each other with that song before the moment's broken by Mike's voice in that CD. But you were getting to know each other. This was day six of shooting. Is that right? You have an incredible track of it all. I can't believe you know what day is what. - Yeah. - Sorry to interrupt. I wanna hear what you were gonna say about the look and stuff. So you guys were still getting to know each other and so, what I did was I asked Kat, who was off camera, to... I didn't tell you about this, Mike but I asked Kat to put her hands on your legs but I asked Kat to put her hands on your legs and tell her how adorable she thought you were in Superbad. - Did you put your hands on my leg? - I can't remember. I couldn't tell if you did. I assumed you did because you did the rest of it. - I couldn't tell where your hands were. - I probably poked it. - I don't wanna know. - Didn't know where your hands were? I remember something like that. I like to poke Michael, because... You're so cute when you flinch. When you recoil with horror. Poke, poke, poke. - Here's some hotness. - These guys are good. - Sexy. - Great chemistry. I don't know why, but these guys... They, like, auditioned together, right? Norah! Norah! Norah! Oh, my God, Pete. This is that crazy shot where they had like... They put the wall back, remember? When it goes all the way around, someone was putting the wall back. - Really? - Yeah, it was like a 3-D shot. - Oh, my gosh. - This one was... This was cake icing on my hand. - It was? - Yup. - It looked like paint. - Have a sweet dessert. - After this, you licked your fingers? - I licked that wall. Check out Mike's performance here. Oh, well, there's a... What? - Total shock, which I love. - I'm like, "Wait. What?" - What's happening? - Wait a minute. What? - "Why are you grabbing on me?" - "What's going on?" There was previously a scene there with Mike and a transvestite. - You can catch that on the DVD too. - Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. - In the deleted scenes. - That's what I was recovering from. Are most of the scenes that are deleted on there, or did you pick and choose? We got a great scene with Kat and Jesus. We've got Trannie Tris. - Thank God. - Trannie Tris. - All the oldies but goodies are there. - Do you say: - "When I say 'Jesus' you say 'Christ"'? - That's in there. Yes. - That was fun. - Yup. Do you have the bathroom scene at the? In the Catholic school. Is that in there? - No, I'm afraid not. - No. - That was kind of omitted, right? - Oh, God. - That was fun. - That was funny. Remember how much fun we had because we weren't outside for once? And we were just all girls for once. - It was the only day off that I had. - I know. That was great. It was the only day I could kind of walk around. - What'd you do that day? - I slept late because I was on the weird night schedule. So I slept basically half a day away. And then got up and maybe got some food or something. I think I hung out with my friends. If you really wanna know, she actually supported our music and our band when nobody else did, not that that's any of your business. - Okay, forget it. I can't do this. - Do what? Just make a U-turn and take me back to Ludlow. I'll find my own way. - Perfect. - I refuse to be the goodie bag at your party. - You don't have to yell. It's not a train station. We're in a car. - Just drop me off. - I will. Oh, my God! Are you crazy? Mike, is this the night somebody confused you for...? - Denzel. - Denzel Washington. - That's right, that's the night. - What do you mean? - You don't know that? - Oh, my God. - I don't think so. - You tell the story. It was just someone driving by and went, "Denzel." A car full, of... No, there were like six people. They were like, "Denzel." And they were drunk. This was probably a Friday. I remember a lot of people getting out of bars this night. Friday night, 7th Street, Avenue A. - Yeah, at like 1 a.m. - We're in the middle of the action. - Did you happen to think...? - Hello. Not a real punch. Oh, I was so terrified I would hit you by accident. There was a take where you were supposed to, but you didn't. Pete asked me to slap you and I couldn't do it. - I started to cry a little bit. - I saw you two having that discussion. I was like: "She's gonna hit me. I'm ready for it." It's gonna be cool. It'll be a good reaction. That was the only time I started to cry a little because I felt like... - You actually started crying? - I was hiding it. - At the thought of hitting me? - Just the thought of hitting Michael without him knowing. Or just hitting Mike. - It's like hitting a puppy. You cannot... - But we were in character. I know, but... It would have been so Of Mice and Men. I didn't do it. But back to the Denzel story somebody thought Michael was Denzel. Did you ever think that maybe Denzel was just standing behind you? - We looked to make sure. - They were looking at me. I looked around for Denzel, because I love Denzel. - But there is no Denzel. - No, it was me. Did we have any celebrity sightings on the shoot? - I don't... - Wait, wait. Yeah, we... Oh, God. Well, now I forget. Remember there was a guy near Don Hill's who was crossing the street and I was like, "That's the guy from..." Really? He's in a band, remember? He's handsome. - Was it Mayim Bialik? - I forget. - Maybe. - Mayim Bialik. - Could be. - I love Mayim Bialik in Blossom. I don't remember. Mayim Bialik was, like, head of a Yiddish singing group. Last I heard. True story. - Oh, this was so cold. - Yeah. - It was raining too. - Look at those boys. How can you just not love them and wanna hang out? Jonny's beatboxing was really funny. This was when the "let me show you my balls" thing happened. - Yeah, that was that night. - Right there. A guy wanted to show us his balls. Didn't get to. So a guy on our movie or some other dude? - A drunk guy that was stumbling... - A guy tried to show us his balls. - Christo handled it perfectly. - Christo and Self handled it. - What did Christo do? - Christo handled his balls. Christo is our first AD, who is... - Handsome. - Handsome. - Hand me some of that. - And so sweet. Gorgeous. Ari. By the way, this pregnant lady actually threw up like in the left over where the chairs were, before we started shooting. Threw up everywhere in between her legs and then just proceeded to sit there for 20 minutes with her and her boyfriend and nobody cleaned it up. I feel like that was a good omen. - This is the greatest... - Ari. - You are amazing. - I feel like you can tell that I tried to spit my gum out. - Such a terrible actor. - Oh, my God. I love the audience, like, reaction whenever Ari does something gross. - It's so amazing. - People really get vocal. Okay, this is my favorite thing, right here. Sounds like fun, right? Not always. Scary. - That is a genius, genius line. - So good. Genius. Ari. And that was all you. You made all that up. You guys are so supportive. I love you. I guess Jonny looks a little like Josh Harnett. - I can see it. - He's just so chiseled. - But I don't think that they look... - So chiseled. He's angular. I love the end of this scene what you guys do, what Mike and Kat do. You're relating to each other silently for one of the only times in the movie. And there's this whole thing, Mike, where... Now you decided you gonna be on her side and not on your friends' side. Right. If you watch carefully, you do this gesture that's like... - We're a team. - It seems to say ignore these guys, I'm with you. Well, it's not Nick and His Friends' Infinite Playlist. - Right. - Oh, that's sweet. I say we do a drive-by. No. Absolutely... I was loopy there. I think it was pretty late. Pretty early. You can normally tell by our eyes. Yeah. Yeah. You didn't CGI out any of the red in some places. I'm sure it was... Or maybe you did. No. I took some of the red out of your cheeks in the exteriors because you looked cold. - Oh, my gosh. - Hey, did you have to take out some of our icy cold breath coming out of our mouths? - No. We just didn't use... - No? Look at that face. Look, they were falling in love. You see a bit of breath in this movie, don't you? - Well, this is worth talking about. - Okay. - Okay. - Kevin Corrigan. Ari, tell us about your evening this night. This was, like, 3:00 in the morning and we were supposed to shoot a whole other scene. I was supposed to see a guy and think they were twins. And about a day before, you, Peter, came over and said that you couldn't decide how to shoot it so we weren't gonna do that scene but we had Kevin Corrigan and what do we wanna do. And I have a thing with turkey sandwiches so we talked about it and we talked to Kevin who in a really, like, intense way decided that he wasn't gonna say anything during the scene. Yeah, that's kind of... Turning the scene on its head. - Last minute. - Hilarious. I was like, "Oh, my God. He's not gonna say anything. What am I gonna do?" - Oh, Ari. - I'm sure everyone was freaking out because it was so late and there was no script. I was just babbling about a turkey sandwich for like hours. I would love to see Kevin Corrigan get some kind of award for this scene. He's so genius. His face... I wish... I wish at some point in the DVD you can put a thing of him flipping his hat over. Remember, when he would like do this huge body twitch and his whole hat would flip? Oh, my God. Ari, you... You two. I'd love to see it in the movie with these characters. I think the two of us should write something. Caroline and Silent Guy's Infinite Evening. Ari, this right here, when you almost throw up a few times I don't know how you freaking do it, but it's so disgusting and so accurate. How do you...? How do you...? How do you make a noise every time? - How do you? - I don't know. - It's one of those hidden talents. - It really makes you, like, squirm. So good. - Oh, my God. - I love Kevin Corrigan. Okay, Englewood. Okay. Well, the last bus to Englewood left seven minutes ago. You see? She's fine. Let's go. No, just because there was a last bus doesn't mean she was on the last bus. - You and your logic. - I'm trying her again. - Oh, no. Don't throw up. - Oh, God. The thing that's too bad is that there were many other throw up scenes in the original and now there's... No, I mean, that's a good thing. - I don't... - Remember, there were like...? - We shot four other throw-up scenes. - On the bus. Remember? With the projectile, with the tube hooked up to your face. Yeah. - Norah. - Caro... Oh, no. This was like a river, a river flowing. Oh, God. And it's so hard to sync it up with your mouth. - It seemed all so unreal. - That's so disgusting. Yeah, people really get wound up when they watch this. - I just laugh. I think it's funny. - That's not real vomit. - It was real. - It's real. No. But it's like... What I keep saying is if you put crushed graham cracker cookies and ginger ale or ginger cookies or whatever and you hold it in your mouth and spit it out. It doesn't matter that it's not real, it's just disgusting. It's just as vile. This woman coming through, do you remember when her line was: "Hell no." And she did it, "Hell no." - Oh, my gosh. - No, that's not real. - Yes, it is. - She... All the takes of her saying that line are on the DVD. Ari, your face... Right here. Right here. Oh, ashamed but happy. - Guilty pleasure. - I think that was the last thing I shot. That was the... Yeah, that was the last thing you shot. - That was your last day. - It's like a little private shame that you share with yourself. Fine, let's go to Brooklyn. Aaron fell down, one of those takes. - Oh, he did? - Yup. I love this. - Ari, you look sexual. - You were right there the whole time. - We were so close. - You really do. - We were so close. - You really do. You look drunk but great. Pete, you can really tell how much you love New York with these shots. And it's sexy. Sexy at the same time. - NY. - Sexy NY. I do love New York. I think it's part of what makes the film, you know, special. - Absolutely. - Or specialer. But look at these shots, you can tell you're a New Yorker and you love it. Does anyone remember this reference? - No. - It's the fifth lady. - What? - What is that? Wanna know what that's a reference to? Sex and the City, when it was over all the girls, they were always talking backstage about the show. And they were like, "New York, it's the fifth lady." Didn't Kim Cattrall play New York? But it is. It's like in this. New York is, like, the biggest character. That's true. That's true. Mike and I got a lot of: "So, the music's really a character." Yeah, the music's a fifth character. New York's a character. Yugo's a character. Gum is a character. Yeah, the gum is a character. The Yugo's a character, you know. I'm not gonna lie, I felt important while this was happening. I was going in front of the line, doing what I want. So we're going into one of my favorite scenes in the film. Mike and Kat, you did an amazing job with this dancing. And I was worried about how we were gonna do this. Yeah, this was one of the most tired days of the shoot. - Remember? - This was when we switched to days. - This was our first day. - That's right. We had been on the night schedule so we had not enough sleep. I love your dance because it's so you two. And only the two of you would do that. And only, I think, after hours of... I mean, not being able to sleep for days. You can tell we were desperate for sleep. Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about. What am I saying? I have a stomach ache from fatigue at this point. But when this was written, it was like "Norah and Nick get up on Beefy Guy and Dev's shoulders and do a dance." - It was so terrifying. - I didn't trust Rafi to hold me at all. I didn't trust anyone to hold me. I'm unholdable. It was just too scary. Like you're a Bruce Willis movie, Unholdable. This is... I think it's terrific. Try and get as close to my hands as you can without touching them. - It's so good. - But this is my favorite. - This is one of my favorite moments. - We did a lot of versions of this. - What's that? What? - This. Look at us go. I don't remember any of this. It's one of the few times in the movie where you were improvising. - And I... - Yeah, I guess so. I don't think you know where it's going. Usually, when you improvise, you have a sense of where you're gonna land. Yeah. But in this case you didn't, and I think that the way you were feeling that really makes that special. It makes it what it is, because it's so in the moment. And it's really cute. I'm not gonna lie. Baruchel. Slow down the sexy bus. It was really fun. It was good having Jay around. I would like to... I would like to also tell people that Jay didn't smoke cigarettes this day and put candy in his mouth because I'm not a smoker. And it was very sweet of him. - What a pro. What a pro. - I didn't ask him to do that. - He's aces. - Yeah, I know. I didn't ask him to do that. He just did it. Really thoughtful. - He was hilarious. - I didn't dislike smooching Jay. It's hot. I'm just gonna say it. - Just, you know, say it. - Just gonna say it out loud. - that gay band We're Gay. It was great because... - We're Gay. - We're Gay. We had been shooting for a while when he came in. And we had all gotten pretty tight pretty fast and it was just cool. He came in and was just so awesome. - Yeah, he jumped in. - Just jumped right in. Oh, man, do you remember Rafi put a bunch of Babybel... - You know, the Babybel cheese things? - Oh, yeah. They come wrapped in wax and Rafi got a bunch of those and balled them up and put them in the back of Jay's jacket as a joke. And Jay was okay, but the wardrobe lady was not pleased with it. Oh, man. I won't name names, but she was angry. What happened? Did they melt all over the place? - I mean, it's not good for clothes. - It's just cheese. - It's wax. It's, like, balled up wax. - Oh, the wax. - I love the happiness of that moment. - Yeah. - Look at Jonny's face. - Yeah. - John Cho. - Holla back. - I love that shirt. - I bought that from the wardrobe sale and gave it to Eddie, a.k.a. Jesus Christ. - Oh, really? You did? - Yeah. The hype man knows what you want but he's not sure if you want it enough. Do you really want it? Do you really want it? This was funny. So you just randomly picked this extra to be, like, the guy who loves the band, right? I didn't even pick him. Our AD, Christo, picked him. He said, "You okay with this guy being the fan of the band?" I said, "Yeah." - Then the backflip. - All of a sudden, he can do a backflip and no one knows it. Right. And it was just something he just did, right on a whim? He said, "Can I dance? Can I do whatever I want?" I said yes. - Look at this. - And then he threw in the backflip. - These were all his decisions? - Yeah. We just gave him the stage and he ran with it. - I hope we got his business number. - So good. Project Jenny, Project Jan is this band here. - This guy was so good. - By the way Jeremy who plays Randy, when we made out in the first club scene and we made out for a while, and he was getting married the next day. It was like a really funny thing. It felt like I was his bachelor party. I didn't find that out until the end of the day. I felt guilty that I asked him to do that when he's getting married the next morning. It's a hell of a bachelor party. - It's all acting. - Yeah. - He was in character. - He's a cool guy. - Look at his guy. Look at his guy. - This guy, I mean... - Look, he's shameless. - Somebody get this guy a show. And then all of a sudden, "Hey, I'll blow their minds real quick." And then all of a sudden, "Hey, I'll blow their minds real quick." The shot looks like it was orchestrated to highlight the backflip. - But it wasn't. It was just in there. - It was the master of the scene there. This was the coldest I've ever been in my life. Ever. Ever. Ever. - Pete? - Yeah, this was cold. - This is pretty rough. - I can see the rosiness... - I almost didn't give you my jacket. - Yeah, just to be a douche. - Just because I was so cold. - I thought you would have to have some major, like, Lord of the Rings CGI on my nipples because it was... It was like... Nipples isn't PG-13. They were like... I got to the point where I couldn't feel my extremities. I mean, it was so cold. I was in a damn T-shirt, you know? T-shirt. In Lord of the Rings, are they known for their nipple CGI? Yes. What do you think? Of course. Oh, awkward pause. Anyway... That jacket, by the way, the jacket that I put on you which is a jacket that we actually wore in like... It kind of provided a bit of warmth, but not as much as you'd think. - No, it was like... - Like a thin cotton. - It was like wearing a plastic bag. - Yeah. Actually, wearing a plastic bag would've been warmer. Look at all this. Okay, so let's talk about... - Tension. - The time where they had to stop the van short and I flew back and I, like, landed on my bad wrist that I had a minor surgery and stuff on in the exact spot, like on a metal drum pole. Oh, man. I freaked out and thought I was gonna have to get my tendon resoldered, but it didn't happen. - You can't fool around with that stuff. - No. Didn't mean to. - I think this was a reshoot day. - No. Didn't we...? Didn't we reshoot the...? Oh, it's a different moment in the van. It's when I'm looking out the window at Tris on the car. - Yeah, that was a reshoot. - That was a reshoot. Because I remember... Remember Raf and I were giving each other a hard time this day. Do you remember? It was the reshoots and I was a little scared. I was like, "Oh, my gosh. He's really getting angry." I think I was making fun of his accent. That's the way to get him mad. Michael would make fun of Raf. He'd be like: "Oh, later on, Rafi Gavron." Rafi's from London. You can't tell by the movie, but he's English. Oh, and Ari this is the best deli. Remember? - I wasn't in this scene. I came to visit. - Yeah, but you came to visit us. We got Tony, our script supervisor, a cake because it was his birthday. Of course. I remember that. This was one of the craziest days of my life. - I don't know if you guys recall. - Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. You guys were shooting without me, so I had... I was... - Oh, this was the day. - That's a great story. - Yeah, but there's not enough time. - It'll take all day to tell. - Michael had a crazy adventure. - I did, yeah. Because I thought I was coming in to work at 6. That's what I was told. And then I didn't end up coming until 2. And anyway, there's too much to say. Too much. But Devendra Banhart is in this scene. - Right. That was cool. - Later on. And your friend Kevin, right? Kevin and Devendra Banhart are in the scene we're about to see. And... - Kevin visited a bunch of times. - This is a sweet scene. - This is the handholding scene, right? - Yeah. I remember Aaron and I were talking about... He was really nervous before shooting this scene because this was his audition scene. And I had said my import authority... The part at the window that was my audition scene and I had freaked out. It's scary. When you worked on a lot, that's when people are like, "It's good." Then you do it and you're like... It's so great, though. It's such a sweet, sweet scene. And I like what's going on with Jonny and Raf in the background there. - I didn't see it. - It's very sweet. They're just kind of canoodling. That broccoli she just put in her mouth was saturated with, like, lard oil. - Oh, man. - We were trying to... She was trying to pick the healthiest thing to eat off of there, but... Yeah, it was pretty gross. I feel bad. Norah never had an orgasm. I love that whole... I love that whole shtick. Norah never had an orgasm. See, look at this, I mean... We filmed about three minutes of them canoodling. It was very sweet. I couldn't say "cut" because it was kind of adorable. This is really cute too. Was that a real couple? - It's a couple of extras. - A couple of extras. They're good then. I felt... I felt really nervous doing this bit about orgasms. Didn't the guy there say something about getting, like, a pocket rocket? Yeah, something about dildos and then I felt... - The vibrating egg. - What is that? - A large vibrating egg. - Yeah. - What? - What's that? - Annie Hall. - Yes, of course. - Devendra Banhart. - "We used a large vibrating egg." Look, I'm just afraid that if he gets with you and nothing happens his self-esteem could really go through the crapper, you know? This is Tris. Devendra was so sick this day. He showed up, walked off the plane from Barcelona and he couldn't swallow. - Look at how tense he is. - Look at him. He is dying. I fanned him with a paper plate and we've been friends ever since. That's the way great friendships are formed. It's good at breaking down walls. I did... Yeah. Ari. "Jesus." - Eddie Kaye Thomas. - Eddie Kaye Thomas. This is exciting, we got to be to be on film together. - You ever work together? - We met doing a play. This is the first time we've been on-screen together. - That's the best cigarette flip too. - How did he do that so well? I mean... This was also... We shot that, like, right before Thanksgiving. - There's your ass again. - Ass again. But you look really cute there. Hey, look at this ridiculous bedazzled phone that Tris has. It's a really revealing prop. - I love the bedazzled phone. - It's pink and it's sparkly. Oh, yeah. - Oh, my gosh. - Psycho. This is an exciting commentary. - I think so. - Oh, yeah. She's got the best mean looks, but she's such a sweetheart. She is like the sweetest lady. - Hey. - Hey. You all right? Is she okay? We should talk about commentary pet peeves. What's one of your? When people are watching the commentary, they're like: "I love this scene." And everyone goes quiet and listens. But when you're listening to a commentary, it's quiet. You can't even hear it and you're like, "Why aren't they saying anything?" But this could lull some people to sleep. I watch these things to go to sleep. - Oh, that's sad. - Is it? You guys, nobody better fall sleep watching this commentary. - Let's talk about this damn church. - This is one of my favorite churches. - That's like Broadway, right? - Andy Samberg is genius. - Famous street in New York. - Yeah, but it's... Mike, why don't you talk about what it was like to film this? - How did you...? Yeah, you guys... - This was very late. I remember it was the last thing in the night. - Andy was around for hours, though. - Yeah. In fact, this was the same night as the convenience store thing. - Right. - So this was, like, 6 in the morning. We started shooting the next scene at about 5, 5:30. Yeah. And we had to finish before the sun came up. Yeah. And we had to finish before the sun came up. - This... That. - That. Let's talk about that. That is so good. - It's so frigging good. - Let's talk about it. Let's discuss that. When you push those doors and you say, "Yeah." - Yeah. - Yeah. Was that...? Was that a conscious choice? - I'm gonna dig into you. - I think so. - I think I remember being... - I love Switzerland. I think I remember saying it. It's just... Like, yeah. Well... Of course, those aren't gonna work. And then Andy said a lot of funny stuff here. He gave that guy a lot of funny names like Cheddar and... What were the...? The names were: Switzerland, Steinbrenner. - Cheese. - Cheese. T-Bone. - T-Bone, yeah. - Michael. - And he said a lot of funny stuff. - Your tighty whities are visible. Yeah. Kat made me have the most uncomfortable meeting with Andy Samberg. - I didn't mean to. I was so 7th grade and embarrassed. I didn't mean to. You were gonna meet him that night or you weren't. I was like, "Oh, Andy's here? Hey, I wanna meet him." And Kat's like, "All right, I'll go introduce you. Come on." - Oh, my gosh. - I never met him either. Andy was talking to somebody and then Kat goes: - "Andy, this is Ari." - Oh, man, that is so funny. - Great. - I couldn't help it. This is at The Box, which is an amazing space. This was amazing. This was... Yes. Yes. - This was a really fun day. - They did that how many times? Like 10? Upwards of 10 probably, right? - Yeah. - This is one of my favorite days. We're all, like, hanging out in there. - My parents were here this day. - Yeah, your parents were there. I love everybody's different faces. Look at this. Bewildered. This was originally slow motion, right? Or I guess we shot it regular. It was, but we realized the song wasn't long enough for us to play it in slow motion. - Right. Oh, man. This is a dream come true for me. - Yes. - Blue balls. They also cut out the cucumbers in there. I was thinking that. There was the biggest cucumber you've ever seen. They cut that out? - I mean, you guys cut that out? - Oh, yeah. You know how you popped out of that tree and said a dozen different things? - We have all those on the DVD. - Oh, there you go. - My favorite... - And they're terrific. - he came to rescue me. You look like you have the little Charlie Brown tree on your head. You look like you have the little Charlie Brown tree on your head. - Oh, yeah. - Cutest. I love when you say, "This tree is drunk." I'll text you. Okay? Poor Gary. He eats shit all night, he doesn't get anywhere with Tris. He's a sympathetic character. But it's incredible because he hangs in. That's Sunshine Theater. - He's the new Nick. - He is the new... Exactly. In a few weeks, he'll be going through what Nick's going through. That... This was the night when friendship was truly solidified. Because at the beginning of this scene, I'd thrown up into a plastic bag but still had to hold the gum in my mouth, and then gave the gum to you. - So you had... - And I put it in my mouth. You had my ABC gum that had been sitting in my mouth with fake throw up. With fake barf and then I put it back in your mouth because we realized, that once it lost its flavor it was better that way. - Of course. - This is so sweet. This is the... People go... when they see this. - No joke. - I'll do it. We had Chinese food, like, three weeks ago... Oh, Chinese. - Oh, I love Chinese. - There it is. - There it is. - These kids are so adorable. God. Let's talk about something, like... What's on your little paper, Pete? - A reference paper for stories. - Yeah. Yeah, let's whip it out. - What's it say? - Does anyone wanna talk about... Talk about the gum. When you guys shared the gum. - We just did that, Mike. - Okay. About Mike and Kat living in New York for the first time? This was the first time that me and Kat lived in New York. - Yeah. - The end. And the last. - Anyone wanna talk about auditioning? - Oh, God. Oh, yeah. Remember, there was that huge to-do about my hair and my makeup and all that stuff on my last audition. Remember, Pete? Remem...? Somebody went... Did you go shopping for clothes? - I went shopping for clothes. - You brought options. - I bought 800... - That was the first time we met. - That's right. - We read together. Pete and Kerry Kohansky gave me pointers and really helped me out, you know. Was this something I shouldn't talk about? Never mind. - That was all a lie. - We should talk about... Let's rewind and... Wait, seriously, should we go redo that? No, it's okay. Oh, shit. Should we talk about that today is September 24th, 2008? - It's one week till the premiere. - What's today? One week from the premiere, today. - We have one week till the premiere. - That's exciting. - Countdown to show time. - Yeah. - Wait, seriously. - Look at your little face. Are you sure? This is for posterity, you know. Okay. Anyway, here's my face. - There's Ari's face. - I love... This is why I love Norah and Caroline, because they love each other. - It's very sweet. - We love each other. That's a cool shot. It is rare that you get real female... True female friendship in movies right now. Because usually what we get is, sort of, mean girl behavior. - Yeah. - It's so true. Even, you know... - I'm sorry, you go. - No, you go. No, I was just gonna say that with Tris, too I feel like even though she come... In certain moments, she comes across as being like you know, antagonistic to Norah or whatever. But she's just as vulnerable as Norah and Caroline and just wants to be... - She's human. ...accepted, like everybody else. - That's pathetic. - She does... It's not like they're never gonna see each other. I mean, they all go to school together. Caroline and Tris are friends, sort of. And Norah doesn't despise Tris. We spend a lot of time trying to define the relationship between the three girls. Because that idea of, like, "frienemyship" is hard. And so there's like a lot of debates, like, figuring out how mean they were to each other versus how friendly they were versus how passive-aggressive. There was a lot to figure out. And I... Here we go. Here it is. - Here it is. Here it is. - Michael, you stop doing that. Wait, watch for it. There was no cut when we did this. - Okay, I'm gonna call my boyfriend. - This is the gum. - It looks fake. - It looks fake. - It looks like a skillful editing trick. - Like someone passed me a new... - No. - No, that's dirty gum. - That is tainted gum. - It's all spitty and... - That is tainted gum. - It's all spitty and... And, also, I should point out that I think Alexis and myself and Ari decided that we had all been friends since babyhood, basically. - That's why we all tolerate each other. - Right. I figured that about me and Raf and Aaron too. - We all grew up together. - Stop trying to copy our ideas. No, it's the same with us. That was our back-story, not yours. - Get your own. - Get your own back-story. - Get your own. - We just met this night, earlier this... Ari, what is your feeling about this running gum gag now that you've seen it played to an audience, because you... It's funny, things that you don't think about when you're shooting. Like, I was obviously very aware of the fact that we had to always be on top of the gum situation. When we were doing press in Toronto all the gum and all the throwing up questions I didn't realize that it was such a thing, kind of. You know? But I think it's funny. God, I don't know... Do you...? What do you think about it? I mean, I love the reaction that it gets in the theater. And I think it's funny. I don't think that thing is for every film or every story. But I think it helps add some levity and lets... It lets air out of the dramatic balloon when we need to in this movie. You were a little bit resistant to it at first. - I was? - Yeah. - Was I really? - To the gum or the vomit? - What did I say about the gum? - To the... I think you weren't sure about how far we were taking it. Well, because we've had these debates about, like, the whole kind of bathroom-humor joke. Like, Pete always wanted us... Do you know that thing where we were all smelling stuff? - That's out of the movie. - Every take he wanted us to think that we were smelling something gross. - Or he wanted us... - Oh, man. I remember that. - He made me... I smelled something. - Everyone had to do it. - We all had to do it. - That's so right. And then, like, there were times where in the bathroom scene you were like, "Girls, it's a great opportunity for like bathroom humor." - Oh, my God. - And we were all like, "What?" It was 5 in the morning and the three of us looked at you: "No, we're not gonna do that." I think it's relatable to an audience to witness someone else smell something bad. - Oh, God. - It is. Think about it. I remember talking to you about this when you're like: "Why is it my instinct to make someone else smell something bad?" Right. And then inevitably somebody says, "Here, smell this." Speaking of smelly things. - How did you feel about this foot... - Oh, God. - Nice one. - Oh, Alexis' foot, doesn't... - She's an extremely pleasant... - That's her real foot, right? - That's a stunt foot. - Right. - No, that's really Alexis' foot. - That's an Alexis foot. I love this scene. You're terrific in it. It's almost one take. - Oh, really? - Yeah. One-Take Cera, huh? One-Take Cera showed up. No, no, no. We did multiple takes. But what I mean is it's one angle. - This was like... - Almost one take. There's one cut. - I love that part. - Me too. One-Take Cera... Did One-Take Cera show up? Because One-Take Dennings never showed up. - One-Take Cera did not show up. - Okay. But that's because One-Take Sollett was not on the premises. I don't even think One-Take Graynor has ever been uttered before. I used to say before we started to shoot a scene: "This is One-Take Dennings. One-Take Dennings." And I thought maybe I would get it in one take, but it never happened. In ADR, One-Take Dennings maybe showed up once. - There you go. - She did show up. - In post. - She showed up for post. She was in L.A. the whole time. Yeah, One-Take Dennings stayed behind while I went to New York. Yeah, One-Take Dennings stayed behind while I went to New York. - There you go. - Handsome. He is. What, do you want me to lie? You want me to make this commentary a sham? What? You didn't have to get me any present. So the history of the name, Oz-rael... - Look at that betrayal on my face. Yes. - I want a poster of that. I actually... I got a little copy of it. Of course you did. You have a copy of this CD? No, I have like the JPEG. Just because it's funny. Yeah? Serious? Oh, that means so much. That means so much. Thank you so much. Really? Really? - This was Jay's last day, huh? - Oh, was it? Look at the way he's looking at you. - Yeah, it's all fake. - Jay showed up this day having been in Hawaii shooting... - Oh, right. - Tropic Thunder. - Shooting Tropic Thunder. He was like, "You won't believe where I've been." He said, "I've been in the jungle holding my guts and carrying my intestines over my shoulders through the forest." We're like, "Yeah, right, buddy." Well, now I know what he means because I've seen the film. This was such a different role for him. Didn't he keep saying... Kept being like, "I'm not really an asshole." Like, "I'm not really like this." He was so good at it. He kept saying he felt really bad because he was manhandling me and being so... It's a pretty obnoxious character. - But he's so not anything like that. - He did it really well. I felt like the fattest girl in this fake club here, because I was. That's so stupid. Look at how gorgeous you are. Well, because I was... My face was completely obscured in shadow just then. This was, like, the coldest night ever. - This is as bad as it got. - Poor Alexis... - It's true. ...who has, you know... Weighs, like, 5 pounds and didn't have any clothing. Also, we were like on... - We were near the bay. - And on the water. - You were right on the Hudson River. - Hudson River. It was, I don't know, 3 or 4 in the morning and it was probably about 5 or 10 degrees. - This was the day... - It was so cold. She has a funny story about the dance. I can't remember what it is. But, like, it was a dance that they used to do in 8th grade or high school or something. No. You know, what she did was she went back to Tawny Kitaen's choreography in the Whitesnake video. - Oh, my God. - And she copied some of the moves. Yeah, because in that video, basically it's Tawny Kitaen dancing on the hood of a Trans Am or something. - I don't know what it was. - She looks great. I mean... - She modified it for the Yugo. - She did. Look at that wind. That wind doesn't even... That jacket just goes the other direction. And they had these huge heater-tunnels things that blew hot air on you. It's great because it's so sexy, but so hilarious at the same time. - It's so cheesy. - It's so Tris. - Cheesy dance, but she looks fantastic. - It's so painfully cold right now. Look how cute she is. What were you thinking when you were watching this take after take? I think I was thinking I'd rather be somewhere warm and "Does she really need me to be here for this?" - Oh, my God. - Look how cute she... Look how just... - She's so adorable. - Oh, Mike. It looks like there's a wind machine, it's so perfect. - But there's not. - This is my favorite move coming up. Wait, right... Coming. No. No. No. - That's a cool shot. - This. Here it comes. - Now. - Bingo. I love that. I love that so much. That gets a huge... People will really laugh at that too. That lipstick on the windshield thing took us a long time. I know. I know it. Yeah. - I had to be in a very specific spot. - Yes. - Mike, you're thinking about me here. - Yeah. - Were you thinking about Kat here? - No. - He was thinking about... - Food. I forget what I was thinking about, it wasn't Kat. I don't think it was to do with the movie. It was probably, like, "Why"... You were thinking about seeing No Country for Old Men. I was thinking, "How am I gonna back up?" I don't even know how to drive forward on a stick shift. - I can't believe you left her there. - I can. Good. I think that's the first time anyone's sympathized for her character there. People cheer. I love how she checks her boobs to see if there's something wrong. Her boobs must be misaligned, that's why he backed away. - That's so funny. - It's so sweet, though. That's so funny. - Mike, you're... This is terrific. - This is a great moment. This is really late. - Oscar. Oscar. - Right? Really late. - Yeah, it's probably 5:30, 5:45. - Well, maybe a Golden Globe. Look how great. That was really me doing that. I really actually did that. Mike, you're a handsome act... Good actor. I just want to sum this up. If you wanna give us any compliments, feel free. - Yeah, go for it. - You guys are handsome. You're so good. I was really eating this, because I use... I remember I said that I thought when girls ate in movies it looked fake and like they weren't swallowing. Like they were just gonna throw... Like, barf it into a thing after. Because usually they give you a bucket to spit stuff out. I hate when I see it in movies where they're not eating and not swallowing. - It does get disgusting. - Yeah, it was gross. And I regretted it. I skipped lunch that day and went and... I did a scene once where I ate a fig per take. And we did it like all day and I was like, "Why did I do this?" Because you can't get out of it once you've started. And drinking stuff too. It's hard too. Like, if you have a lot of beverage. Don't get me started about drinking things. God. This is a real phone. - Oh, boy. - And in the background... There were people in the background, like Rachel Cohn, who wrote the book. And David Levithan. Yeah, where are you? Did you leave the city? - I'm at Veselka. - What are the cross streets? Second and Ninth. Okay, well, don't leave. I'm gonna come over, okay? In the meantime, could you pass that message on? I'm happy about something. He took it, as the English later said, "like a man of war" which is exactly what he was. By the end of the first week of April, Edward had appointed an agent in Scotland. Edward ordered him to raise dragon, the banner which signified no quarter, no prisoners, no mercy, no rules at all. And the English rode north. Wishart and Lamberton were swiftly captured. The English regained Cupar Castle and moved towards Perth. Robert I rode to meet them with all the forces at his disposal. King Robert camped in the woods above Methven on the 1 8th June. He had failed to draw the English out from Perth to a pitched battle in the accepted, sporting style of medieval chivalry. So he would try again tomorrow. But the dragon banner was flying. For the English, chivalry was by the by. They approached under cover of darkness. It was a rout, a slaughter. Robert and a few hundred survivors dragged themselves west. His wife, Elizabeth, was still with them, his daughter and his sisters too, so he se nt the women north, hoping they might find refuge in Norway. But they were captured and handed over to Edward. Robert and his remnant suffered a further defeat at Tyndrum, a defeat that must have seemed final. So the King of Scotland was forced to flee still further west, to Dunaverty, at the very tip of the Mull of Kintyre. There was no land left to run to. He put to sea and disappeared. He must have sailed with the bitter knowledge that his crown was proving costly. Bruce's wife and daughter were confined in convents. He would not see his wife again for eight years. Back on the mainland, Edward indulged himself in an orgy of executions. One of the victims was Robert's brother, Neil, hung, drawn, quartered, as Wallace had been. The news of his brother's excruciating death will have bitten deep. Perhaps this misfortune meant that God didn't want him to be king. For six months, Robert the Bruce remained in hiding. In 1 828, Walter Scott pulled all the strands of myth and hearsay together and gave the Bruce an encouraging spider for comfort, but it was just a story. Where he fled to precisely is not known. Ardnamurchan is the current favourite. But wherever he went, Sir Walter was right about one thing, that Bruce had a decision to make, whether to give up or go on. He had connections. One of his sisters was the Queen of Norway. He could have hidden there. But that would have left his wife, his other sisters, his daughter and all his bishops in captivity. It would have left his supporters, his friends and his brother dead and unprayed for, in purgatory, or worse. What sort of choice was that? He chose to fight on. He gathered a force of Irishmen and Hebrideans, and landed secretly at Turnberry in Ayrshire, towards the end of February in 1 307. By the beginning of March, two more of his brothers were dead at English hands. The price of Robert's throne was rising. He took his forces, his anger, and his grief into the broken lands of south-west Scotland. He wasn't hiding. He was learning how to fight. He had no more than a few hundred men. Hardly any knights. He only had spearmen, foot soldiers, and no intention whatsoever of following Wallace to an early grave. So he could only wait until the English were wherehe wanted them to be... and then surprise them. In April, Robert and a force of 300 men surprised an English force of 1 ,500 here beside Loch Trool in Galloway. It was an unpleasant surprise. There was no room for cavalry to manoeuvre and nothing for the English to do except trip each other up and die. So they ran away. So this was victory. The Bruce enjoyed the taste. But was it a fluke? A one-off? It might be. By May, Robert was in Ayrshire. The land was full of the level playing fields that knights adored. The Bruce chose Loudoun Hill instead. The Bruce had a few more men to work with now, about 600, and he put them to work gilding the lily, digging trenches to further reduce the opportunities for a wide assault, narrowing them down to a point. On 1 0th May the English approached, 3,000 strong. They charged. Then they found out about the valley and the trenches. They lost their elbow room. A lot of them lost their horses as well. When the Bruce and his men attacked, it was with such terrible violence that those English troops at the rear, those not yet engaged, decided not to engage at all. They broke and ran. It was no fluke. Robert I was a winner. God was on his side. God had also had enough of Longshanks, the Lawgiver, the slaughterer of Scots. Angered by the failure of his much larger forces to crush the Bruce, Edward dragged himself out of his sickbed and ordered his armies to muster at Carlisle. But he was iller than he thought, and older too. This is as far as he got - the sands and marsh of the Solway Firth. He died within sight of Scotland. But the covetous King did not go gently. He asked his son to send his heart to the Holy Land on crusade, but his bones would go with the army to Scotland to finish the business. The King is dead. Long live the King. Longshanks' bones weren't up to the task, but they weren't the problem. Edward II was. He had his father's temper, but nothing else. Not his intelligence or his learning or his tactical gifts. His first act as king was to disobey his father's orders concerning the disposition of his various body parts. He simply dropped dad off at Waltham Abbey to await proper burial. Then, in his own good time, he joined the English army in Scotland. On arrival, he learned they'd been badly provisioned, so he marched them south for a good square meal. He would leave the Scots in peace, by and large, for the next three years. And now the Bruce had a job to do - Edward's job. He had some Scots to slaughter. The Comyn family and their many supporters were still loyal to the Balliol claim. There was only one thing to do with such opposition... Kill it! He left the borders to his increasingly trusted lieutenant, James Douglas. Himself, he marched north, accompanied by his brother Edward. The Bruce's campaign gathered momentum as he moved up the Great Glen. His forces were never large, although by now they had a reputation. His tactics were thorough and unpleasant. He reduced one Comyn castle after another. He reduced them to rubble. He killed the occupants. He burnt Nairn to the ground. A ruined castle, after all, was no use to the Comyns, no use to the English if they returned and no use to a king who had settled on a strategy - hit and run. Right now, the Bruce had no use for castles. Castles meant you couldn't move. So, burn the castle, fill the well, move on. It took him just two months. By November, he was in the north-east, his forces now joined by those of the Bishop of Moray. Another man of war, Bishop Moray. The vestments were just for weekends. And then... The King is ill! The Bruce's illness was nameless, mysterious. It left him weak as a kitten. There was no medicine to hand, no doctor. He grew steadily weaker as the days passed. The King is dying. It was winter. The army was perilously close to running out of food. The Earl of Buchan, cousin of the murdered John Comyn, had gathered a sizeable force and was waiting for the moment to attack. The Bruce's forces withdrew into the Highlands. The King was taken to a castle, to die, some thought. And then, magically, as spring came, the King recovered. He returned to the slaughter. He came here, to Barra Hill, near Aberdeen. The Earl of Buchan had dug himself in at the summit, amidst the remnants of an Iron Age hill fort. It was, he thought, an impregnable location. He was wrong. By now the Bruce's reputation rode ahead of him. The Earl of Buchan lost his cavalry to simple terror. Then he lost the battle too. John Comyn, Earl of Buchan, last of the Comyn nobility, fled to England. He was dead within the year. There were still supporters of the Comyns to exterminate. King Robert rode north. He came to Duffus Castle and the Bruce laid waste. Then he sent his brother, Edward, eastward into Buchan, the heartland of Comyn power. The Bruce did not forgive it. On his orders, such damage was done that the land was infertile for a generation. But it was not the land he damaged. He didn't just burn the crops. That would have made the land fertile in the coming year. He ordered the slaughter of the livestock, and not only the animals, but those who tended them and who grew the crops - men, women and children. Parts of Buchan were left barren for a generation because there was no-one left alive. ROBERT THE BRUCE: Ihave split the blood of innocent men... NEIL OLIVER: ByMarch of 1309, the Bruce had crushed resistance almost everywhere in Scotland. In the July of the previous year, the Pope had lifted his ban of excommunication. So he was officially back in the fold, one of the saved, at least for the time being. Now it was time to get on with the business of kingship. Here at St Andrews, in a cathedral nearing completion after 1 50 years, he called his first parliament. It was a funny sort of parliament, by modern standards. It only lasted two days, and only really did two pieces of business. Day one - parliament replied to a letter from the King of France, who wanted the Scots to go with him on crusade. "Not just yet," said parliament, "we're busy." Day two - parliament issued an open letter called The Declaration Of The Clergy. It's not a famous document, but it should be. The Declaration Of The Clergy published for the first time the ideas that Scotland's bishops had borrowed from Duns Scotus. With great cunning, it wove into Scotland's recent history the idea that a king could be chosen, and it did it as though everyone should always have known that such a thing could be. The clergy and the "people", seeing the virtue of Robert the Bruce, had "agreed" upon him, and with "their concurrence and consent", he was raised to be king. It's a very important document indeed. It sounds almost revolutionary. But in 1 309, the "people" really meant the important people - the nobility, the clergy, the community of the realm, not the peasants or the drinkers down the pub. No, the declaration was written for the people, not by the people, because the people were meant to listen to it. It was preached in churches. It was copied, shown around, repeated. It was the party line from Robert's faithful support and prop, the Scottish Church. The Declaration Of The Clergy was stage two in Robert's conquest of Scotland, an attempt to persuade the doubters, and there were still many, that Robert was indeed the rightful king. This was good. But was it good enough? The sheer scale of the Bruce's task was becoming clear. His kingship was still in question. He was not a legend yet. Three things needed to be done if he was going to make the throne safe for himself and for his male heir. One, he had to secure the loyalty of all of Scotland's nobles and eject the English from any significant holdings. Two, he had to force the English King to accept the independent status of his throne. And three, he had to father a male heir. He hadn't even finished task one, and his wife was still in English hands. So no chance of an heir, then, or not a legitimate one, at least. But before all of these things, he must become unquestionable. He must become a legend. And for that, he would have to wait five years. He would have to wait for Bannockburn. By the spring of 1 31 4, the Bruce had almost completed his first task. Only Stirling and Berwick castles remained in English hands. Edward II began raising an army to reconquer Scotland. Edward mustered his forces at Berwick on 1 0th June - 1 5,000 footsoldiers, between 2,500 and 3,000 horse. Edward's nobles were mostly absent and they hadn't sent as many knights as he would have liked either. So not exactly a vote of confidence then, but no matter. Edward had more than enough confidence in himself to make up the shortfall. They rode north. The Scottish forces mustered in the Tor Wood, south of Stirling. The numbers bore no comparison. 500 light horse, about 6,000 foot. But size isn't everything. By now, the Bruce's army was used to war. The men were used to each other. His brother Edward, James the Black Douglas, Thomas Randolph, the Earl of Moray, were experienced, battle-hardened men. And the footsoldiers of the Scottish army had learnt to fight in schiltroms - packed together in close order, with spears and shields permanently presented. Like tanks, but made of human bodies. By Saturday 22nd June, the Bruce had chosen where to fight. He'd had a lot of practice by now. He chose wisely - the edges of New Park, near the Bannock Burn. The trees limited cavalry action, and to the southeast, the ground was broken by streams and burns and rills. On either side of the road leading to the New Park, the Bruce modified the terrain. Just as he had done at Loudoun Hill, he made the ground treacherous for his foes, this time by ordering the digging of innumerable pits, disguised with grass and branches. These would snap the legs of the English horse. The English army itself made camp to the north, and night fell. The next morning was a Sunday, so the Scots began it with a mass. The Bishop of Dunkeld presided, and when the mass was finished, he will have got his weapons ready. This would be the reckoning, the payment. For the Bruce had lost brothers and friends, family and priests. His wife and daughter, dear to him, had been imprisoned. And those who gave allegiance to him had lost still more. And now, the English King was here, no more than a hundred yards away. He would be made to pay. He must be made to pay. The English opened with their knights, as was traditional. A massed cavalry charge, and one of the knights, Henry de Bohun, found himself charging an isolated figure, off to the side of his soldiers. An isolated figure, wearing a crown. He lowered his lance and galloped forward. This was his chance at immortality. But the Bruce dodged it. He rose up in his stirrups, and with a single blow of his battleaxe, split De Bohun's skull from crown to chin. With that one stroke, the Bruce became legend. The schiltroms held. They pushed forward. The English cavalry were sent in again, but the Earl of Moray's schiltrom forced them back, and that was the story of Bannockburn. For two days, the Scottish schiltroms held and then pressed forward, hemmed the English in for slaughter. And on the second day, the English had had enough. So they did what had now become the traditional thing when faced with a Scottish army, its feet and spears firmly planted on the ground... They ran away. The Scots got down to the profitable business of taking prisoners, and Edward took to flight. Robert had too few mounted men to send a sizeable number in pursuit, so Edward escaped. Check, but not checkmate. The haul was impressive. Robert was able to trade his prisoners. He recovered Bishop Wishart, 74 years old and blind, his daughter, his sister, and best of all, Elizabeth, his queen. Eight years of captivity had left their mark, and Robert will have known that what she'd suffered was his fault. All for his costly throne. All for his legend. In the history books and by the firesides, the scale of the victory would swell, just as the tales would grow taller. In fact, by the 20th century, the King himself had grown by two feet. But the facts were rather bleaker. Only the task of removing the English from Scotland was near completion. The attempt to produce a male heir could now begin, but it was perfectly possible that Queen Elizabeth might prove barren. Bannockburn had given him his legend, but it had changed nothing else. The road to Scotland's independence seemed very long, and it was blocked. Progress now depended on Edward II, who had no reason to make any concessions of any kind at all. For four long years, the Scots raided English territories in the north of England, Ireland too. Robert lost his last remaining brother, Edward Bruce, all in vain. Edward took no notice. He didn't need to. He couldn't beat the Bruce on a battlefield, so he'd changed the game. He'd started playing by the rules that Scotland's bishops used. He had gone to the Pope. And the new Pope was desperate to restore papal prestige by sending all the major crowns of Europe on crusade. Kings who caused petty national squabbles would not be tolerated. In 1 31 8, the Scots discovered that the English had convinced the Pope that the war between England and Scotland was Scotland's fault. Robert, his lieutenants and his bishops were all excommunicated. In addition, the Pope ordered that in every English church, three times a day, a ceremony was to be held at which the name of Bruce was cursed. The news will have been bitter. As the curses rose from every English church, the Bruce came to St Andrew's Cathedral for its day of consecration. Almost 700 years ago, the Bruce stood here, along with his old mentor, William Lamberton, but without Wishart, who had died two years before. He watched as these marks were made. A generous annuity for the new cathedral was announced. He was pious, desperately so. The Bruce's spending on things like this - churches, chantries, monasteries and chapels - was increasing. Generous grants were made to institutions dedicated to St Andrew, St Fillan, St Thomas, St Ninian. His people called him Good King Robert. But Good King Robert wasn't so sure. He wanted the saints to intercede on his behalf. Those English curses didn't seem quite empty, not at least to the man they were intended for. The fate of the Scottish crown was back in the hands of the papacy. And the Scottish clergy, once again, was the Bruce's only hope. In April 1 320, a Scottish knight set off for the papal court. He was a postman of sorts. He carried with him three letters. All were written here, in Arbroath Abbey. One was from King Robert, one was from the bishops, and the third was from the nobles of Scotland. Only the letter from the nobles survives, and it's now known as The Declaration Of Arbroath. It has become a very famous document. Some people see it as an astonishingly precocious manifesto for national and democratic freedom. Some Americans argue that you can see its influence in their own Declaration Of Independence. In 1 320, it was a hard-nosed reply to English spin. And it spun pretty hard itself. Of course, it wasn't the nobles who actually wrote it. This was ventriloquism, with the nobles' dummy sat firmly on the bishops' knee. It was a potted history, and a brandished fist of a document. The Pope must have enjoyed reading it. First, it summarised the arguments of Baldred Bisset's brief. "We are an ancient people. "We are Rome's special daughter." Second, it asserted that Robert the Bruce, "by due consent and assent of us all", had freed them from the English yoke. But if he should submit to the English, "We Scots will drive him out, "and make some other man who was well able to defend us our king. "For as long as but a hundred of us remain alive, "never will we be brought under English rule. "It is in truth, not for glory, nor riches, "nor honours that we are fighting, but for freedom, "for that alone, which no honest man gives up but with life itself." So, the idea of Duns Scotus, that kingship is contractual, with added brass neck and a generous pinch of broadsword, had finally reached the papal court. But it hadn't finished yet. It added that it was the English, not the Scots, who were making excuses for not going on crusade, and that if His Holiness didn't do something to stop them, then His Holiness would be blamed by God for the slaughter of bodies and perdition of souls that would inevitably follow. Cheeky. The Pope replied in August. The letters, astonishingly, had had the desired effect. The excommunications were suspended. Better still, Pope John wrote to Edward and told him to end the conflict and negotiate. Edward agreed, with an ill grace. The treaty negotiations were to take place at Bamburgh, in Northumberland, in the March of 1 32 1 . So, in March, the envoys began to gather. The papacy and the French King sent agents too. It was a farce, a drain blocked with all the old arguments. The English wheeled out the ancient story of immemorial English ownership of the Scottish crown. The Scots replied with creaky chunks of Bisset and a generous helping of the Declaration, adding for good measure that the entire Norman and Plantagenet dynasty was itself illegitimate, stemming as it did from the foreign usurpation of 1 066, an invasion led by someone the Scots chose to refer to as William the Bastard. The true and legitimate claim on the English crown, said the Scots, lay with the house of Wessex, whose sole living representative was one Robert I of Scotland. The Bamburgh negotiations came to nothing. A letter confirming Robert's excommunication arrived a month later. Stalemate. And after that, for six years, it was groundhog day for Robert the Bruce. Every time the Scots secured concessions at the papal court, Edward successfully got them undone. The only day that delivered any variety was the 5th March 1 324, when Queen Elizabeth was delivered of a healthy baby boy, someone to give Scotland to, someone of his blood. A miraculous male heir. David. The Queen was 35. The King was 50. For those days, it was near enough to miraculous. But did it matter? Every morning, the Bruce awoke to find the English King unchanged. The Bruce's groundhog day lasted until 20th January 1 327, when Edward II was deposed. Edward was removed from the throne by his wife, Isabel of France, and her lover, Roger Mortimer, with the tacit approval of an English nobility that was heartily sick of Edward's incompetence, favouritism, rumoured homosexuality, and corruption. His son, the Prince of Wales, just 1 4 years old, was crowned King Edward III a little less than two weeks later. This was good news. This was an opportunity. But King Robert, once again, was ill. He remained active, but sometimes he was active almost in effigy, carried around from place to place, paralysed, like a statue of himself. The illness came and went, but it came more and went less as time passed. An eyewitness in July said the King was so ill, he could scarce move anything but his tongue. But it was time for one last effort, or this great opportunity would be lost. And so, miraculously, in August the King was well enough to lay siege to Norham Castle, while Moray and Douglas made assaults on the castles at Alnwick and Warkworth. All of these sieges in Northumbria sent a message loud and clear. The Scots, quite possibly, were about to take the north of England. The threat was real. The English folded. On 1 8th October, whilst at Berwick, Robert issued his conditions. The King of England must recognise his throne and the independence of the Scottish crown in perpetuity. To seal the deal, his son David was to marry the King of England's sister, Joan. The English hummed and hawed, but there was little doubt that they would accept all of the important points. The Bruce had won. Queen Elizabeth of Scotland died nine days later. She was sure of her husband's success but she was not alive to see it. The Bruce's blessings were usually mixed. The peace was finally concluded at the monastery of Holyrood, where the Bruce lay ill, on 1 7th March 1 328. One of the English promises was to return the Stone of Destiny. His earls were in attendance, his bishops too, including William Lamberton, who had chosen him, with whom he'd signed a very different document 24 years before and without whom, very likely, none of them would have been there at all. Lamberton died two months later. On 1 2th July, in accordance with the second of Robert's treaty conditions, David, who was only four, and the Princess Joan, who was six, were married in Berwick Church. Neither king was in attendance. One was too angry, the other was too ill. Peace at last, after 32 years of struggle and bloodshed. The Pope let it be known that he recognised the Scottish throne, and he lifted the ban of excommunication from King Robert. The Pope was onside. The gates of hell were firmly shut. King Robert, you might think, could be sure of salvation. But he wasn't. Guilt weighed heavily on him. His nameless illness assured him that he still lacked God's grace. The crown was his, he wouldn't be parted from it. But it was steeped in blood, the blood of his family and the blood of others. He arranged for a chaplain in Buchan to say masses for his brother Neil, dead since 1 306, and made grants to Dunfermline Abbey, where his wife lay buried. The Bruce and his advisers judged the time was ripe to ask for something that every European monarchy of status possessed - an ampulla - a bottl e of sacred oil, blessed by the Pope himself. Oil from such bottles was used to anoint kings at their coronations. Any attempt to conquer the lands of a king who, by virtue of this oil, had been anointed by God, was a mortal sin. The English kings had an ampulla. The French did too. But the Scottish kings didn't, and they wanted one. It was more than any mere status symbol. It was a bottle full of independence from the English King. His illness grew worse. "The King is dying," people said. Nobody knew what he was dying of. But this time it was true. He had just three months to live, but he went on pilgrimage, struggled down the south-west coast of Scotland to the shrine of St Ninian in Whithorn Cathedral. Too sick to ride, the warrior King was carried on a litter. The journey took a month. When he arrived, Robert the Bruce, mortally ill and on the edge of the abyss, did penance. He fasted and did penance for five days. After all, the Church had got him his crown. Surely now God would take him back. God forgive me. I have spilt the blood of many innocent men... On his return, he gathered his earls around him and he spoke to them. "My day is far gone," he said. "I thank God for giving me time to repent in this life. "Because of me and my wars, much blood has been spilt. "Many innocent men have died. "So I take this sickness and pain as proper penance for my sins." And he let it be known that after his death, he wanted his heart to be removed and taken on crusade. Robert knew he would never live to go himself, but the Scots had been promising the Pope a crusade since 1 320. Robert died on 7th June 1 329. He was 55 years old. The illustrious King of Scots was buried here, at Dunfermline Abbey, near his wife. The dead King, and the first king of something that had never existed before. The very word "Scots" meant something different. There was a Scottish people now, loyal to a Scottish throne. No more confusion, no more divided loyalties. The bishops and the Bruce had done theirjob. It was a revolution. The King is dead. Long live the King. His five-year-old son David succeeded Robert the Bruce on 7th June, 1 329. The following year, James Douglas took the Bruce's heart on crusade against the Moors in northern Spain, and died there. The heart, having fulfilled its promise, was found on the battlefield, returned to Scotland and buried in Melrose Abbey. After his death, the legend of the Bruce did what legends do. It ate things up. It ate the human being. All that was left was Robert the Bruce, the soldier King who fought for Scottish liberty and won. It left a suit of armour, and this face, resolute and empty. The legend hid his consuming guilt. It rarely mentioned the bishops who'd chosen him, and who had guided his every step. It barely muttered the names of his lost family. It shrunk the Scottish casualties and multiplied the English armies he'd defeated. It blurred the medievalness of what he did. It made it about liberty for all, instead of a revolution that established a free and independent Scottish crown. On November 24th 1 331 , David and Joan were enthroned as King and Queen of Scotland. There was no Stone of Destiny. Edward III had promised to return it and hadn't. But at last, there was an ampulla of sacred oil from the Pope. The bottle of independence from the English crown. Final proof of the Bruce's triumph. Final proof that the Scottish crown was free and quit of English authority. Final proof that the reign of Good King Robert had been worth everything, all the deaths and horror. Freedom from the English crown at last, for ever. The next English invasion was in 1 332. So much for bottles and for promises. AtZLIT 2011 NARRATOR: They call it Britain's last great wilderness, a place as beautiful as it is barren. The islands and mountains of Scotland seem to exist on the edge of the imagination. But it wasn't always like this. For centuries, Gaelic Scotland was at the heart of the Scottish kingdom. Then it changed. It became something different, something separate. Something other. (LIVELY MUSIC PLAYS) (ALL SPEAK GAELIC) In many ways, Scotland is a nation of two cultures, one Highland and one Lowland, and one part just doesn't seem to understand the other. Most of us don't speak Gaelic. We speak English and, whether we admit it or not, we have to view our own country through the prism of the English language. And when we go to the Highlands and Islands, we find ourselves in amongst a language and an entire culture that we don't understand, that we just don't get. It's an uneasy, uncomfortable double vision. It's Scotland's guilty secret. And it all began with a feud between two families. In 15th-century Scotland, family was everything. This is the story of two of those families and how their fates were locked together. The rise of one meant the fall of the other. Their struggle was epic their names legendary. They were the Stewarts and the MacDonalds. There's a story of a medieval Spanish traveller who came to Edinburgh to see the sights. When he got home, someone asked him what was the most wonderful thing he'd seen. The traveller thought for a moment and then answered, "A grand man called MacDonald with a great train of men after him, "called neither Duke nor Marquis." His name was Alexander, Lord of the Isles, Ri Innse Gall, The King of the Hebrides. Alexander's family, the MacDonalds, had played the game well. They had backed Bruce and the rewards had flowed - lands, wealth and power. The power of 10,000 armed men. Power over the islands. Power over the sea. This is called a "birlinn" or a West Highland galley. She's really a descendant of a Viking long ship. What range, what territory could boats like these cover effectively? In some cases up to 50, maybe 60 miles a day. You could certainly go from Northern Ireland up to Cape Wrath in two or three days if you had good wind behind you. NEIL: How important would you say these craft were to the Lordship? GORDON: Vital. Whoever controlled the roads of the sea had the power and that's what the MacDonalds had. If it wasn't for these, there would have been no Lordship of the Isles. With over 100 birlinns at his command, Alexander dominated Scotland's Atlantic seaboard. No wonder they called him the King of the Hebrides. The nerve centre of his far-flung territories, Finlaggan on Islay. It was here Alexander summoned his chiefs to do deals, form alliances and, most importantly, keep the peace. As an archaeologist, one of the first things that strikes me about this place is the fact that it isn't fortified. But then, of course, it didn't need to be. By the time Alexander took over, the Lordship had already enjoyed a century of internal stability. And with that peace and with the patronage of the MacDonald Lords came a flourishing of the arts, sculpture, music and poetry. It's often hard to get a sense of what places like Finlaggan were like in their heyday. But a few archaeological finds that have been recovered from the site over the years, give an idea of the day-to-day reality of life here. This is from a hunting dog's collar and you can tell from the careful decoration on it that the dog's owner was proud of the beast and wanted it to look its best and, of course, the Lords of the Isles were very big on hunting. These are gaming pieces carved from bone, the rules of the game long forgotten, but on this one you can clearly see the carved outline of a stag with its antlers and its mouth open and its tongue sticking out. And finally, this last piece is a pilgrim's badge or token. It's made of lead and it's from Rome. So somebody with connections to the Lordship of the Isles went all the way to Rome and brought back this as a souvenir with its image of St Peter carrying the keys of heaven. Alexander, Lord of the Isles, held the keys to more earthly kingdoms. His Atlantic realm faced in two different directions at once. To the south was Ireland where family and cultural ties were deep. To the east was Scotland. But the Lordship wasn't on the fringes of the Scottish kingdom, it was at its very centre. The Gaelic world of the Lordship was at the heart of how Scotland imagined itself. It was the Gaels who had first unified the kingdom, giving it its Gaelic name, Alba. Now Gaelic Scotland was enjoying a second golden age. If Finlaggan was the heart of the Lordship, then Iona was its soul. St Columba's island was one of the most important spiritual sites in Scotland. It was here that the bodies of the Lords of the Isles were brought for burial. Alexander showered the Abbey and its community with money and gifts. Of course, he had good reason. Like the best of medieval godfathers, he had a string of mistresses and a pile of cautionary letters from the Pope to prove it. All this church-building was a kind of spiritual insurance policy. But if Alexander MacDonald feared for his soul, that was pretty much all he feared. He was Ri Innse Gall, a king in his own land, in a land where there was no king. Scotland was a kingdom with an empty throne. Its Royal line had faltered. Its young king was in the hands of its ancient enemy. James Stewart, King of Scots, had been captured by the English when he was only 12 years old. His family had fought alongside Robert the Bruce during the Wars of Independence. When Bruce's bloodline died out, it was the Stewarts who succeeded to the Scottish throne. But the sole heir to the new Stewart dynasty was now a hostage - a bargaining chip, leverage. It was the same old game, for the same old stakes. If the Scottish magnates wanted their king back, they would have to submit to English overlordship. "Forget the Bruce. "Give up your independence." But the Scots weren't going to play by the English rules. "No, thanks," they said. "We're managing fine without a king." So James was left as a captive with plenty of time to brood on his redundancy. For a time, James had been shunted from one miserable prison to another. But then his royal privileges were restored and he was given free run of Henry V's court. You can imagine how grateful James was for this outbreak of benevolence. But Henry's motives weren't exactly pure. He had a war to finish in France and he needed a new ally to fight an old enemy, because across the Channel it wasn't just the French that Henry was up against, it was the Scots. (BAGPIPES PLAY) The role the Scots played in the Hundred Years' War was something the French would never forget. In this summer pageant in the middle of France the crowds are celebrating the arrival of Scottish troops at a life or death moment in the history of their country. Henry V had just defeated the French at Agincourt. Final, decisive victory was within his grasp. And then the Scots waded in on behalf of their old ally. Now the Scots and French forces were united against the English king. To defeat them he had first to divide them and Henry thought he had the perfect weapon -James. Now Henry's plans for him became clear. James was King of the Scots, so James could tell the Scots to pack up and go home. Melun was the acid test. In 1420, Henry lay siege to the strategic town just upriver from Paris. The walls were defended by Scottish troops. James knew what was expected of him. He ordered the Scots to surrender. English and French kings expected unquestioning obedience from their subjects. But these soldiers were Scots. And in Scotland, king and kingdom didn't mean the same thing at all. Scotland was more than one individual. It was a community, a loose but resilient network of loyalties. "Lay down your arms," James commanded his subjects. And as one, the Scots kept on fighting. 700 defenders held out against a 20,000-strong besieging force. These days, the underground vaults beneath the town are used to store wine. But in 1420, this was the scene of vicious hand-to-hand combat. The English dug tunnels beneath the fortifications in an attempt to undermine them. The defenders opened up their own tunnels so they could counterattack. It was in claustrophobic, suffocating darkness that the battle of Melun was fought. But for all their tenacity, the defenders of Melun couldn't hold out. When Henry finally broke into the town, he was out for revenge. The surviving Scots were rounded up, separated from the other prisoners and executed en masse as traitors to their king, James I. James never forgot the shame of Melun. He had been made to act as a puppet by a foreign king. He'd been defied by his subjects. His humiliation was immeasurable, off the scale. It was Melun, more than anything else, that shaped the kind of man James would become - intolerant, inflexible, impatient. Just two years after Melun, Henry V was dead. His successors couldn't see much political value in James. But their prisoner was still worth a king's ransom. In 1424, the English cashed their chips in. At 30 years old, James Stewart was on his way home. Scotland was more of a memory for James than a reality. He had spent over half his life in English captivity, so he had a lot of catching up to do. In other words, he was a king in a hurry. Amongst the welcoming party was Alexander MacDonald, King of the Hebrides and Lord of the Isles. He must have viewed the new arrival with guarded curiosity. Along with the other Scottish magnates, Alexander had agreed to pay a colossal ransom. What had they got for their money? A king on the make, a catwalk king. A king who understood that front was everything. Linlithgow Palace was James I 's pet project. It was something brand-new in Scotland. It wasn't a fortress. It was a Renaissance-style Royal residence. It made its point through wealth, not strength. James had an agenda. He wanted to elevate the very idea of kingship. Linlithgow Palace declared, in 100-foot-high capital letters, James's ambitions as a European monarch. Before James I, the magnates like the Lords of the Isles had regarded their king as first amongst equals, and occasionally as something less than that. But James considered himself to have no equals. James I was educated and accomplished. He was Scotland's first Renaissance king. Amongst many other talents, he had a real gift for poetry. In one poem entitled The King's Quair, he described the moment when he first fell in love. James was a captive in England when he wrote these lines, But you wouldn't have heard this language at the court of Henry V. This was James's mother tongue and imagine how he must have missed it, the rich Scots language of his Lowland birthplace. Scotland in the 15th century was a blur of different languages and dialects. In the Lowlands, Scots - a distinctive vernacular with Anglo-Saxon roots - predominated. Most of the rest of the kingdom - at least half of Scotland 's population - spoke Gaelic. And within Gaelic Scotland there was no more influential, no more determined figure than Alexander, Lord of the Isles. While James Stewart was palace building, Alexander MacDonald was empire building. Alexander's birlinns gave him control of an island archipelago, but his real ambitions lay on the mainland. Ross stretched from the rocky shores of the Atlantic to the rich farmland of the North Sea coast. By acquiring Ross, Alexander became one of the most powerful landowners in the kingdom. Ross was the jewel in Alexander's crown. But soon James himself began to cast envious eyes on the northern prize. The king was running short of cash. All this palace building came at a price. He'd already tried cooking the books. Money that should have been going south to pay his ransom was being spent on gold leaf and fine carving, but even that wasn't enough to plug the hole in his finances. He needed money, and badly. Alexander's territory in Ross began to look seriously tempting. James invited Alexander to meet him in Inverses. But this would be no Royal garden party. Alexander was camped outside the town with a large entourage, including his own family. When he finally got the summons from the king, Alexander, his mother and a few select followers got dressed in all their finery. What delights were on the menu? What treats were in store? As soon as they were through the gates, they were set upon and disarmed by the king's men. The MacDonalds didn't have a chance to resist. Alexander's own mother was pushed around, taunted, dishonoured. James watched as the MacDonalds were dragged off like common criminals. It seemed to inspire him. He entertained the court with some off-the-cuff verse. But this time, the muse was less romantic. It was no gentle love poem he recited. "Let us take the chance to conduct this company to the tower "For by Christ's death, these men deserve death." Wary tolerance had suddenly turned violent. James executed some of his prisoners without trial. But he didn't kill Alexander. He didn't have to. James had got his hands on Ross and the revenues it provided. After a couple of months and with a great show of mercy, he released the Lord of the Isles. But if he thought Alexander would be grateful, he was wrong. Alexander gathered up his men, returned to Inverses and burned it to the ground. Revenge was sweet, but it was short-lived. Alexander knew he'd allowed his anger to blind his judgment. A Royal army was closing in. Outnumbered and outmaneuvered, Alexander calculated That he had only one option left. At Holyrood Palace in 1429, Alexander, Lord of the Isles, surrendered. Ritually stripped to his underclothes in front of James, he handed over his sword, his title and his lands. Alexander, Lord of the Isles, was then led away into captivity. The rules of the game had changed. The magnates had once carved up Scotland amongst them. Not any more. Now the king was in charge. Or so the king wanted to believe. The Lord of the Isles might be behind bars, but his family openly defied Royal authority. James sent an army to deal with them. But Alexander's men weren't about to turn tail. (MAN SPEAKS GAELIC) From every corner of his dispossessed territories, Alexander's supporters gathered, moving to meet the Royal army at Inverlochy at the head of the Great Glen. The Islesmen landed their birlinns a few miles down there where Fort William now is. They marched along the river towards where the Royal army was camped around Inverlochy Castle, just down there in the trees. The commander of the Royal troops was in the middle of a card game when he got the report of the enemy approach. He dismissed it. He said he knew very well the doings of the big-bellied caries of the Isles. At that moment, a body of archers hidden on this hill shot a hail of arrows down onto the unprepared Royal troops. And taking that as their cue, the main body of the Islesmen charged. It only took a few minutes. Over 900 Royal troops lay dead. Their injured commander fled over the mountains. Inverlochy was a brutal lesson in the limits of Royal power. James was forced to realise that it was as dangerous to keep Alexander behind bars as it was to have him on the loose. A month after Inverlochy, he set Alexander free. Alexander got just about everything back - his lands, his titles and, crucially, his prestige. The MacDonalds were back on top. The Ste warts, mean while, were in trouble. To many of the magnates, James's release of Alexander seemed like weakness. They scented blood. Simmering resentments finally boiled over into conspiracy. On 20th February 1437, James's enemies finally caught up with him. It was after midnight when they broke into the Royal lodgings. With the assassins outside the door, James searched for a way out. There wasn't one, so he smashed a hole through the wooden floor and dropped into the sewer beneath. But the exit to the drain had been blocked off. James turned to face his pursuers. He tried to make a fight of it. But there, in the darkness and the filth, he was stabbed to death. Scotland held her breath. The killing of a king was a shocking, almost sacrilegious act. With the Stewart dynasty weak and exposed, the MacDonalds were unassailable. When Alexander, Lord of the Isles, eventually died in 1449, his dream of ruling an empire that stretched from coast to coast had been realised. He was buried not on Iona like his forefathers, but on the mainland in the rich soil of Ross. From beyond the grave, Alexander was not only reinforcing past claims, he was hinting at future ambitions. The kingdom was at a turning point. With James I and Alexander, Lord of the Isles, gone it was up to a new generation to continue their legacies. On the Stewart side, James II assumed his father's throne. A bright red birthmark earned him the nickname, James the Fiery Face. On the MacDonald side, it was john who now became Lord of the Isles. His inauguration followed a ritual that was centuries old. just like the ancient kings, john stepped into a carved rock footprint, joining him to the land he was to rule over. (MAN SPEAKS GAELIC) The bards heaped extravagant praise on john MacDonald. But it only added to the weight of expectation on his shoulders. John's position was difficult, even precarious. Should he try and expand his territory? Or would it better to consolidate his already over-stretched empire? For the moment, he opted for the status quo. Meanwhile, James took decisive action. The new king would cement his family's fortunes, not through violence but at the altar. Here in Edinburgh in 1449, James II married Mary of Gueldres. She was the grandniece of the Duke of Burgundy, one of the most wealthy and powerful men on the continent. The Stewarts had most definitely arrived at the top table of European power. There was a hefty price to pay, of course. James and his family wanted to impress their powerful, foreign guests with the very best in food, wine and entertainment. But it was worth it. The marriage brought the Ste warts international prestige and political influence. And there were other, more tangible items on the gift list. NEIL: This is some wedding present for a teenage king. It is. And the wedding wasn't exactly a shotgun wedding. It was one of the main dynastic weddings of the period. And when James got this gun, Mons Meg, from the Duke of Burgundy, he was being given one of the most impressive pieces of technology available at that time. Just how dangerous or effective was a thing like this? This gun could fire 18-inch stone balls, a good-sized ball, that could go over a mile, actually, especially with a following wind. And the real danger that this represented was to the castles of the period. A gun like this brought against a great castle was a real threat in terms of knocking its walls down. What does it say about James, though, that he now possesses this? Where does it put him in the league table of kings? It's putting him right up there amongst go-getters, amongst the main sovereigns in Europe. - So James was, in many ways, a big noise? - Absolutely. James H's showy pretensions hid a mass of insecurities. He was thin-skinned, prickly, paranoid. The king felt trapped, hemmed in. To the north and west john MacDonald dominated a huge arc of territories. Meanwhile to the south, there was another potential rival - the Black Douglas. William, Earl of Douglas was a 15th-century pin-up. He was popular, he was famous and he was very, very rich. His family, the Black Douglases, were the big power in the Borders. When William, Earl of Douglas, and john, Lord of the Isles, agreed a friendship pact, it set them on a collision course with James. Deals like this were routine, innocuous, they meant as much as a handshake. But James didn't see it as a courtesy. He chose to view it as a conspiracy. The king brooded on how to deal with the two magnates. He didn't brood for very long. In 1452, James requested the presence of the Earl of Douglas at Stirling Castle. William smelt a rat. He only showed up when he got a letter guaranteeing his safety. It was the dinner party from hell. James was jumpy and volatile. William was edgy too. The fact that both men had been drinking since lunchtime made the situation even more unpredictable. Only one thing was guaranteed and that was a confrontation. At some point, late in the proceedings, James demanded that William give up his alliance with john, Lord of the Isles. William refused. Bad move. James exploded. He pulled a knife and launched himself at William. Then his courtiers pitched in. Legend has it that when the frenzy was over, they dumped him out of that window. When the body was recovered by William's men, it was found to have 26 separate stab wounds. His head had been split open with an axe. It was a shocking act, as much for its violation of notions of honour as its brutality. William's followers paraded a copy of the king's safe-conduct pass around Stirling before ransacking the town. But James was more than a match for the Black Douglas. Faced by the King's heavy artillery, the Douglas castles surrendered without a shot. William's family fled into exile in England. This was another great leap in the Stewart fortunes. By seizing the lands of the Black Douglases, James made himself very rich. Big guns, wealthy relations and a single brutal act of murder would bankroll the future of Scotland's Royal dynasty. For James, it was a dream outcome. But for john, it was a nightmare scenario. What had happened to the Black Douglas could happen to him. john had to find a way of keeping on the right side of the explosive and newly powerful king. So when James prepared for war with England in 7460, john was amongst his most loyal lieutenants. john vowed that his men would fight one league mile ahead of the main army. It was a very public, very ostentatious show of loyalty to the King. It was also a vow that John would never have to keep. James loved guns. In fact he loved them to death. James was in the middle of a long, hot summer campaign when he got news that his queen, Mary, was arriving. He got one of the guns ready to fire a salute. But his grand gesture blew up in his face, literally. The gun exploded, sending lethal shrapnel flying in all directions. At 29 years old, James II was dead. No-one could doubt that the Ste warts would continue. The dynasty seemed unassailable, as much a part of Scotland now as its rocks and hills. But the new king, James III, was just a boy. For some, opportunity knocked. Only months after the coronation of eight-year-old James, an envoy arrives at john MacDonald's stronghold of Ardtornish Castle on a secret mission. The messenger represents the defeated Black Douglas family and he carries with him an offer from the English king, Edward IV. What Edward proposes is this - he will back a rebellion in Scotland and the MacDonald and Douglas families will share the spoils. John will get the north of the country, the Black Douglas will get the south. And Edward? Well, Edward secures his grip on the English throne. Of course there was a catch to all of this. John and the Douglas have to acknowledge Edward as their overlord. This was treason. The MacDonalds and the Black Douglas were plotting the annihilation of Scotland's Royal dynasty. The old king's suspicions now appeared less like paranoia and more like prophecy. So why did john take such a huge gamble? Why did he risk everything that his forefathers had achieved? The simple answer was that he had no choice. john was being put under pressure by his own relatives. They wanted to see the continued expansion of MacDonald territory And the leader of the hardline faction was his illegitimate son, Angus Og. Angus 0g pressed his father to sign the treaty with the English. The ink wasn't even dry before Angus and his men set out to demand that taxes owed to the king be paid directly to the MacDonalds. But the English king had only ever wanted a diversion in the north. When Edward sorted out his own internal troubles, he had no further need for his Scottish allies. The game was up for john, Lord of the Isles. He could now only hope that the king, jam es [I], wouldn't discover the secret treaty. Fat chance. Eventually the story leaked out and everyone, the king included, knew about John's pact with the English. John was cornered. In a humiliating ceremony that echoed that of Alexander all those years before, he was forced to surrender. john had wanted nothing more than to be like his father. This was the bitter fulfilment of that wish. Like his father, he had underestimated the power of the Stewarts. And like his father, he had paid the price. But this was more than a personal failure. The repercussions would be felt much more widely, rippling down through the centuries and affecting Scotland to this day. John kept his head. He even managed to hold on to some of his lands. But the humiliating submission was too much for others in his family. Angus 0g looked back to the glory days, a time when his family commanded respect. Then, the MacDonalds had burned Inverses to the ground and routed a Royal army at Inverlochy. No-one, not even kings, had been able to subdue them. And now they were expected just to roll over. The argument divided the family. In the process, it tore Gaelic Scotland apart. When Angus attempted to seize power from his father, the Highlands and Islands erupted into civil war. The birlinns which had made the Lordship now gathered to destroy it. Son against father, the final battlefield - a bay on the Sound of Mull. That stretch of water ahead is called Bloody Bay. It's where the birlinns of john and Angus Og clashed with such disastrous violence. It's supposed to have been a victory for Angus's forces, but the truth is that it was a defeat for the whole of the Lordship. Something more than men died that day. The idea of a strong Gaelic world, a coherent entity that could deal on equal terms with the rest of Scotland, died too. It was a seismic moment. The hairline crack between the Highlands and the Lowlands suddenly blew wide open. At one time, Gaelic Scotland - the place, the people and the language - had seemed central to the collective identity of Scots. But now it began to be seen as threatening, as different, as other. Scotland was changing, and changing fast. Only one thing seemed constant - the Ste warts. just a few years after the implosion of the MacDonalds, another James sat upon the Scottish throne. Extravagant, charming and able to inspire affection as well as respect, James IV was everything that his forefathers weren't. But he did have one Stewart trait a burning desire to make a mark. Falkland Palace was James IV's country retreat, an escape from the everyday pressures of court. Everywhere you look, there are thistles. This was the new Stewart emblem. It was an image that James adapted and reproduced endlessly. It was a brilliant logo, so simple, so memorable that the thistle became the definitive symbol, not just of the Stewarts, but of Scotland too. James wanted to create a new Scottish identity. But that identity was a very specific, even limiting one. James IV was the last Scottish king to speak Gaelic. But Gaelic wasn't the King's native tongue. Scots was. And under the patronage of James, Scots was on the up. This is one of the first prints printed and produced in Scotland in 1507, 1508, and the fascinating thing about it is that it's written in the language of the Lowland Scots. Who's the author that's printed here? The Flyting Of Dunbar And Kennedie is actually by two poets. - And this is by Dunbar. - What is a flyting? A flyting is a genre where one poet challenges another poet to a duel by being as abusive as possible. Can you read me an example of Dunbar having a pop at his adversary? (SPEAKS LOWLAND SCOTS) He's not exactly calling him a smashing chap, is he? Er, not really, no, no. I can already pick out from what you're saying that one of the key things that this Lowland poet is accusing the other of is of using the Irish tongue, the Gaelic tongue. - Yep. - What's that about? THEO: I think Dunbar is tapping into the stereotypes that would exist at the time. As part of James IV's political agenda, cultural agenda, social agenda, you're looking at him pushing Lowland Scots as the language of the people in Scotland and use that as an official language and export that to the further-out regions, and therefore Gaelic is clearly under pressure. - So language is power? - I think so, yes. Under James IV, earthy, everyday Scots became the language of literature and law and therefore of power. Gaelic, meanwhile, had become politically tainted. It might well have been the language of at least half of all Scots but, as far as Lowlanders were concerned, it was the tongue of traitors and outlaws. Without the glue of the Lordship to hold it together, the Highlands and Islands had become a kind of Wild West. Everyone was out to grab what they could. In the bloodletting, old scores were settled. Angus Og, the upstart son who had tried to seize the Lordship, met a brutal end, strangled to death by one of his own servants. This was Linn nan Creach, The Raiding Time. To the outside world it seemed that every stereotype of the lawlessness of the Gaels had been confirmed. As if overwhelmed by the torrent of violence that he had unleashed, john MacDonald retreated into penance and prayer. In name at least, he was still King of the Hebrides, still Lord of the Isles. But in the new Scotland, there could only be one king and only one lord. In 1493, James took the title for himself. The Stewarts, not the MacDonalds, were the Lords of the Isles now. It was their word, their law, their rule. James put together an expedition and sailed north to impose his authority. The last time a Scottish king had ventured into the labyrinth of the Hebrides, he'd been on the run. But unlike Robert the Bruce nearly 200 years previously, James had come not as a fugitive but as a feudal overlord. The time of the MacDonalds had passed. The time of the Stewarts had come. They were rich, they were powerful, they were in charge. The Stewarts now looked to secure their future. In 1503,James IV married Margaret Tudor, the daughter of Henry VII of England. It was another spectacular marriage for the Ste warts, but with an important difference. This time, it wasn't just the Stewarts using a royal match as the passport to power and respectability, it was the English Tudors. The Tudor dynasty was still a fragile one. They'd just emerged from the Wars of the Roses and they were clinging on to power by their fingertips. Marriage into the long-established Stewart family would bring much needed legitimacy in the eyes of European monarchy. It was an extraordinary reversal of fortune. Once they'd been hostages and political prisoners, now the Stewart dynasty had become major powerbrokers, able to make the reputations of their Royal rivals. And with the birth of a baby boy in 1507, the Ste warts were only a heartbeat away from the throne of their ancient enemy, the English. The world had turned, the centre had shifted. While the Stewart court blossomed, the court of the Lords of the Isles, Finlaggan, burned. (MAN SPEAKS GAELIC) The Highland Boundary fault line cuts like a sword stroke through the heart of Scotland. From coast to coast, it divides the country into two distinct parts, the Highlands and the Lowlands. It's a neat division, perhaps too neat. It's easy for us to think that the differences between Gaelic identity and Scots are somehow set in stone. But this sense of separation is only a few centuries old. It's history, not geography that divides us. Scotland's split personality is the result of a family struggle that pulled the kingdom apart. From being fully paid-up members of the Scottish project, Gaels began to be thought of as rebels, outsiders. Scotland couldn't continue to be diverse, it had to be a single, political entity. And maybe a single cultural entity too. It was the Stewarts who drove this new vision of a Scottish kingdom. In their eyes, Scotland was secure in its independence and established on the European stage. But this was only the start of what they had set out to achieve. In the years to come, their ambitions would truly take flight. - How you doing? - No' bad. - Good day for it, eh? - Aye, it's lovely. - We can go aboard, yeah? - Yeah, nae problem. This is Loch Leven in Perthshire. In 1567, it was at the centre of some of the most turbulent events Scotland had ever known. On a little island in the middle of the loch, kept as a prisoner, was a young woman. 24-year-old Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots. On their way to the island was a small group of powerful nobles intent on stripping the queen of her crown. When the nobles arrived here, they were brandishing documents they wanted Mary to sign and they were prepared to use force and threats to her life to get their way. They saw themselves as the saviours of Scotland, and she was the obstacle in their path. But Mary refused to co-operate, because she knew that with one scratch of the pen, she would cease to be queen. Mary and the nobles held radically different visions of the nation's future. And Scotland stood divided. From that moment, on this loch, an incredible transformation will take place that will not only see Scotland united, but a Scottish king ruling the entire British Isles. The ambition of an unconquered nation and its royal family will be the driving force that unites two ancient enemies and sets them on the road towards the Great Britain we know today. A Scottish takeover of England? Who would dare dream of such a thing? In 1542, Scotland 's fate came to rest on the shoulders of a six-day-old girl, when its king, James V, died. His daughter, Mary Stuart, was the last of the great Scottish royal line - a child of glittering dynastic potential. And almost immediately, the coveted prize of an English king. Infant Mary was the solution to a very English problem. Henry VIII had fallen out with other countries in Europe, over religion. He'd broken with the Catholic Church, and now England was vulnerable to invasion. Henry's worst fear was that a hostile army would be allowed to land in Scotland a no' from there, launch itself into northern England. England's king, Henry VIII, was an arch strategist and he came up with a remarkable course of action. He would kill off the threat from the north by marrying the Queen of Scots to his own son. And by doing that, Scotland would become part of England. A group of Scottish nobles were seduced by Henry's scheme and even signed a marriage treaty on Mary's behalf. But Mary's guardians backed out, which brought Scotland and England once again to the brink of war. Young Mary was forced to run from one castle to another, as Henry sent soldiers to hunt her down and bring her to him. When they couldn't find her, the English generals decided on a new tactic. Diplomacy on one hand... devastation on the other. A huge English army invaded southern Scotland. The English tried to persuade the Scots that a royal marriage to their oldest enemy was in everyone's interests. But while the politicians threw away words like "fellowship" and "brotherhood" and "equals", the English soldiers were murdering and raping and burning their way across southern Scotland. Abbeys like Melrose, then major commercial and cultural centres, were devastated, as southern Scotland was brought to its knees. But the Scots still wouldn't give up their queen. Instead, they looked to Europe for military help and called on France - their oldest and most trusted ally. Now the French king, Henri, entered the fight. He would send troops to help the Scots fight off the English. But there was a condition - the infant Mary would have to be betrothed to his son, Francois. So a new marriage treaty was drawn up for five-year-old Mary, promising that she would now one day be Queen of France. The French king duly sent an army to fight off the English and a boat to spirit his little Scottish queen to safety. And the English scheme to take over Scotland by marriage was dead. The magnificent chateaux of the Loire Valley became Mary's refuge, as she entered the protection of the French royal family and charmed the man who had gone to war for her hand. "She is the most perfect child that I have ever seen," he wrote. Mary was welcomed in here like a long-lost daughter. In fact the king, Henri, treated her like one of his own children. She lived in the royal nursery alongside the dauphin, her future husband, and she received a fantastic Renaissance education - literature, rhetoric, as well as music, dancing and sport. She was a precious jewel and in this setting, she shone brightest of all. Her future husband, Francois, was short and clumsy. But Mary was tall, elegant and charming. All through her childhood, at court appearances and in private, she impressed her French guardians. And she was groomed for a glittering future, not only in France and Scotland, but potentially beyond. Mary's veins contained very royal blood, blood that gave her a claim to an even bigger prize - the crown of England. She was only fourth in line, but Mary's French guardians knew where that claim could take them, if fortune smiled their way, and that one day, Mary Stuart might just be their key to the back door of England. Her claim to be a contender for the English throne had always been a long shot. But events back across the Channel took a couple of unexpected twists. In quick succession, an English king and an English queen, both from the House of Tudor, died without leaving heirs. Suddenly, in 1558, Mary, in French eyes at least, became the perfect heir for the English throne. There was just one problem. Elizabeth Tudor. Henry VIII 's illegitimate daughter also now claimed to be Queen of England. She had been born just eight months after her parents' wedding. And in the eyes of many, she was not only illegitimate as a daughter, but would be illegitimate as a queen. So, Mary's French family stoked her ambition, as she became the vehicle for theirs. They encouraged her to dream - that now the crown of England really could be hers too. If she got it, one single, united empire would stretch from Scotland in the north to France in the south. This would be a Catholic empire, vast and powerful, that would dominate the west of Europe. Wasn't that what God had in mind for Mary? But her rival, Elizabeth, was English, Protestant and a Tudor. So she got the crown and Mary's dream of a vast Catholic empire slipped away. And soon, even the certainty of her own French crown was under threat. The Protestant Reformation was coming. This religious revolution was spreading across Europe, promising to sweep away Catholic monarchs like Francois and Mary. just a few months into their reign, a group of rebels stormed the chateau at Amboise and tried to capture the king. So who were the rebels? They were Protestants, but they were lords. - We know their name now. - Oh, right. And they wanted to plot against the royal family and the king, Francois II, - who was young and weak. - Right. The revolt failed, and a very public and very bloody example was made of the rebels. How much of this would Mary, Queen of Scots have seen with her own eyes? We know she saw the bodies at the balconies of the chateau, because she was in the chateau. It was the first time she was confronted with such a thing. - Such violence! - Yes. First time she saw this. The bodies were hung from here to show the people? - To make an example. - This is what you get. Just a few months later, Mary's time as Queen of France came to an abrupt end. Her young husband, Francois, died of an ear infection, leaving Mary a widow and a powerless dowager queen. The glittering future that Mary had been brought up to believe in disappeared before her eyes. France, the Catholic empire, life at the centre of the Valois court - it was all suddenly over. So Mary looked to home. But home had changed. The Reformation that was pitting Protestant against Catholic from France to Holland and beyond, had spread to Scotland, with dramatic results and very little bloodshed...so far. Swiftly and comprehensively, the Scottish Church had gone over to the new creed. Life in Scotland was suddenly very different indeed. Edinburgh's tiny Magdalen Chapel was where the leaders of that Reformation met to plan their brave new world. And they now wanted to change more than just the Church. What was undertaken in this room was the sweeping, all-encompassing reform of Scottish society. They started with religion, but they wanted to reach out and touch every part of people's lives. And of course, it couldn't help but be a direct attack on the power of the monarch. Mary's most loyal supporters - Roman Catholics who had dominated the country in her absence - were driven from power, as Protestant nobles took control of the country. The movement's spiritual leader was a preacher called john Knox. He called for those who practised the Catholic mass to be put to death. He even went as far as to claim that Catholic monarchs could be justly deposed. Catholic monarchs like Mary. When the Scottish nobles heard Mary was coming back, different factions sought her out. One Catholic earl wanted Mary to return as a Catholic figurehead in a war to drive out the Protestants. Another offer came from her Protestant half-brother. He wanted Mary to come back and work with the new Protestant regime. If she accepted his offer, he promised she could remain a Catholic, as long as she kept her religion a secret and only practised her faith in private. One August day in 1561, Mary Stuart sailed into Scottish waters. She had chosen to work with the Protestant regime. Her ships were almost a week ahead of schedule, so there was no welcoming party. But a few rounds of the ship's cannon promptly assembled a small, curious crowd, as Scotland's queen finally came home. During Mary's first private mass on her first Sunday back, a mob gathered outside Holyrood to protest. They jeered and shouted that they were going to kill the priest, but they couldn't get to Mary. Eventually, they went away, but the secret of the queen's private faith was out, and the truth hung in the air like a bad smell. John Knox wouldn't even tolerate Mary's private faith. "That one mass," he said, "was more fearful than if 10,000 armed men were landed in any part of the realm "to suppress the whole Protestant religion." From the pulpit of St Giles', he openly preached against her. Knox was brought before the queen, and straight to Mary's face, he questioned her right to rule Scotland. Why? First of all, she was Catholic and Scotland wasn't. Not any more. Second, she was a woman. But Mary had lived long enough to have seen the realities of religious reformation. She was no innocent, so she faced him down. Scotland could remain Protestant. In private, however, she would remain Catholic. No matter how violently Mary and Knox disagreed, there would be no bloodbaths here. Mary had survived her first crisis and now she had the business of ruling to attend to. Mary began to tour the whole country, winning over the powerful regional nobles with her beauty and her cultivated charm, rekindling old loyalties that ran deeper than the new religious ties, sending a clear signal that she was back... and in charge. This is a moment from Scottish history that stays with you. Mary was back and she was making a success of it. But she'd been queen all of her life. She'd been surrounded by the magnificence of the French court and she'd had her ambitions to be Queen of England inflated and fanned. After all that, could she really reconcile herself to a life lived here, out on the edge of the world? The bigger stage, England, was always on her mind. The trouble was, the English already had their leading lady. But by 1564, Elizabeth had neither married nor produced an heir. So Mary seized the initiative. Mary began surveying the field for suitable contenders for marriage. But Mary wasn't just looking for a husband, she was looking for a stud - to maintain or even improve the bloodline. Someone who could finally help her fulfil her dynastic potential. First, she investigated Catholic suitors. Spaniards and French. The French one was her dead husband's adolescent brother. And the Spanish one promptly lost his mind. Elizabeth offered her own favourite. But eventually, Mary settled on something much closer to home - an English cousin. Like her, he's a good dancer. A good huntsman. Tall, good-looking and young. His name was Henry, Lord Darnley, and he was the boy who would be king. After a whirlwind romance, Mary and Darnley married, and Scotland was poised to have a cocky 19-year-old, not just as its queen's husband, but as its out-and-out king. All with Mary's blessing. But then something strange happened. A clue lies here, in the National Museum of Scotland. So, what have we here, Nick? Well, we have a coin which was struck to commemorate the marriage of Mary, Queen of Scots and Henry, Lord Darnley, in July, 1565. - And that's the happy couple? - Indeed, staring into each other's eyes. And the inscription has Henry's name before Mary's. So it's Henry and King before Mary and Queen. That's right. Yes. It was probably considered soon after this had gone into circulation that it was conveying an unfortunate message, and they were withdrawn from circulation very rapidly - and replaced with a different type! - What replaced it? It was replaced by a different coin, the same size, but with different designs on. Surely that's mysterious - that two coins should replace one another so quickly? Well, Mary, of course, was of higher status than Henry Darnley, and the coin seemed to convey that he was at least equal, if not, in fact, superior status. So the new issue was brought out which had Mary's name first, making sure that the correct hierarchy was maintained. So he's been put in his place by the time the second coin comes out. - Yes, very much so. - So quite clearly, these two coins tell us what we need to know about that relationship. Well, yes. The fact this happened in Scotland so rapidly is an indication of something unusual going on, yes. Darnley roamed about Edinburgh drunk and debauched, mouthing off about not being king and making enemies in the process. If Mary had once encouraged him to dream of being king, she now backtracked. And well she could, because Darnley had done his job by then - he'd made his wife pregnant. Guns fired across Scotland to salute to the future king when Mary gave birth to a son, James, on June the 19th, 1566. A few months later, a lavish party was thrown in the great hall of Stirling Castle to celebrate James's baptism. And it was a major political event. Mary had ordered a huge round table be set up here - to remind the guests of King Arthur, the mythical king of Britain. And James was hailed as Little Arthur, the future king of a reunited Britain. The visiting English ambassador was suitably offended at the Scottish royal family's claim to be the future rulers of the whole British Isles. It was a very provocative gesture. But it was realistic. Time was running out for Elizabeth. She was already in her mid-3Os, and it was becoming less and less likely that she would ever produce her own heir. And if she didn't, or couldn't, where would that leave England? Answer - in Scotland's hands. Whether Elizabeth liked it or not, baby James would be the next in line. So the English queen now seemed poised to do some thing remarkable - bury the hatchet with Mary and name her son, James, as the successor to the English throne. Until, that is, Mary's poor choice in men came back to haunt her. The house where Darnley, Mary's husband, was staying was blown up with gunpowder packed into its basement. But it wasn't the blast that killed him. His body was found some distance away from the scene of the explosion. In all likelihood, he was strangled as he tried to flee for his life. The Scottish nobles had finally run out of patience with Darnley. But some said the blood on their hands was ordained by the queen herself. And Mary's behaviour seemed to prove those suspicions. She didn't rush into mourning clothes. Nor did she give her husband a state funeral. Instead, Darnley's body was dumped at night somewhere in Holyrood Abbey. You get a sense of Darnley's tragedy here. The story goes that he's buried alongside these other dead, but they have gravestones and he doesn't. No-one knows for sure where he was buried and no-one really cares. Yet he was practically a king of Scotland. His sordid death changed everything for Mary. Elizabeth put a stop to any more talk of her succession, until, that is, Mary could be cleared of any involvement in Darnley's murder. But that wasn't about to happen. Instead, she married the man most people suspected of carrying out the murder. His name was James Hepburn, Earl of Bothwell. There were, of course, rumours that he kidnapped her, that he raped her, that she married him to keep her honour. But none of that could alter the fact that from the outside, from the point of view of the ministers, the nobles and the mob, it looked bad. Those factions who had always opposed her, chief among them the hardline Protestants, now rose up against Mary and her power-hungry new husband a no' Scotland teetered on the point of civil war. Mary and Bothwell met their opponents outside Edinburgh, ready to calm their kingdom with violence. But on the battlefield, Mary begged her opponents to avoid bloodshed and to allow Bothwell to escape. In return, she offered herself into captivity. Mary was taken to Lochleven Castle. When the nobles came to force her to sign her abdication documents, at first, Mary resisted. But it was only so long she could put up with the threats to her life. So she signed and gave up her power, gave up...her country. A few months later, Mary escaped and tried to get it back. But it was too late. The army that she raised was defeated at Glasgow, and Mary fled to England, where she threw herself on Elizabeth's mercy. But Elizabeth put her back in prison. # The Lord shall out of Zion send # The rod of Thy great power # In midst of all thine enemies... # The future of Scotland once again rested on the shoulders of a Stuart infant. # All willing people... # This is the 110th psalm, and it's believed to have been sung at the coronation of Mary's son, James, here in the Church of the Holy Rude in Stirling. # ... From mom's womb # Thy youth like dew shall be... # It was the worst attended Scottish coronation of all time. After the psalms came the sermon, and it was given by the firebrand preacher John Knox himself. # ... And, for this cause, in triumph # He shall lift his head on high. # It wasn't unusual for an infant to become a king, especially not a Stuart king. But there was something momentous about the day, and it marked a turning point in the history of the nation. For the first time, a king of Scotland had been crowned in a Protestant ceremony. That ceremony sent a clear signal - when it came to religion, Scotland was now firmly on the same Protestant side as England. As James grew up, his religious education became the most important project in the land. Scotland's leading scholar, George Buchanan, was brought in to ensure that James was set against his mother's religion for good. He had once been a confidant of Mary's, but then he had turned against her. And now he had power over her son. James and Buchanan spent a lot of their time here at Stirling Castle. And through this little door is supposedly the school room where they had all their lessons in Latin, history and rhetoric, and, of course, lots and lots of Bible lessons. You can't help but feel for little James. He was here without a mother or a father. He was kept away from the people. He was almost a captive himself. And he wasn't here to do what he wanted - he was here to do what he was told. To make matters worse, the man responsible for his education was not above inflicting physical punishment. After one beating inflicted by Buchanan, James's guardian, the Countess of Mar, accused him of going too far. Buchanan retorted, "I have whipped his arse - you may kiss it if you want to. " And just what was his tutor trying to beat into him? Something his mother never fully grasped - the limits of royal authority. In the new Protestant Scotland, the role of the monarch was under review. The will of the people was what mattered now. And Buchanan wanted to ensure that James got the message. He even wrote a book to help James be the right sort of king. Listen to this - it's from George Buchanan's personal note to James VI at the start of his book about kingship. "I have sent you this book to steer you through the reefs of flattery. "It may not only admonish you, "but also keep you to the path which you have once embarked upon. "And if you should stray from it, rebuke you and drag you back again." It's all couched in very affectionate language, but there's no mistaking Buchanan's intent. It says to me that he wants to control the young prince. In fact, he wants to create a puppet king. Buchanan went on to say that if the king caused the people to despise or distrust him by reigning like a tyrant, the people were perfectly justified in getting rid of him. It was meant as a warning, not necessarily as a prediction. But just a few years later, James came to understand exactly what his teacher had been trying to tell him. A group of Protestant nobles lured 16-year-old James to this castle and took him prisoner. James's crime? He had been keeping dangerous company - the company of an older, charismatic French cousin. Esme Stewart was the only family James had ever known, and James had grown bold with him around. Once-trusted ad visors had found themselves sidelined, some had even been executed, and his cousin had been promoted in their place. Esmé Stewart was two things the Protestant nobles feared most. He was French and he had Catholic sympathies. Even more worrying, he had an influence, even a power, over young James. Protestant nobles felt their power slipping. And in England, Elizabeth grew worried at developments north of her border. So, with her support, Esmé Stewart was forced back to France. And James came to share his captive mother's fate. James stews in captivity, as clays turn into weeks, turn into months, and into a year. He's just a young boy. He knows his mother has been imprisoned in England for years, so maybe this is his lot. Or perhaps his captors have another, more grisly fate in mind for him. But his jailers didn't seem to know what to do with him. For the best part of a year, they moved him around the country, until, finally... James escaped. He sought out his loyal supporters and raised an army to take on his captors and get his kingdom back. A few skirmishes later, James marched into Edinburgh and took full control of Scotland. And it wasn't long before James showed just what kind of king he intended to be. The book of his old tutor, George Buchanan, that contained all those ideas of the king's rightful place, the book designed to rebuke James and drag him back to the correct path, was banned. James would be guided not by the will of the people, but by God alone. James would be an absolute monarch. But what of England, and of the queen who had wanted James jailed? Elizabeth was facing war in Europe and now she sought an alliance with the Scottish king. But James had a price in mind. Nothing less than a guarantee that he would be her heir. Childless Elizabeth guaranteed nothing, but she did offer a bond of friendship, and Little Arthur was almost where he wanted to be. But this so-called friendship was about to face its toughest test. In her 19th year in Elizabeth's English prison, Mary had grown reckless. Almost everything she'd hoped for had been lost - the Catholic empire, power in France, power in Scotland, even her liberty. $0 when she received an offer to join up to a murderous plot, she said yes. The plot was an elaborate one. Mary was to be liberated, Elizabeth was to be executed, and a Catholic army would land here on the south coast of England. They would sweep up through the country to London and secure Mary's position. It was nothing less than a plan for a holy war. Mary wrote a letter agreeing to Elizabeth '5 murder. The letter was intercepted. Mary was tried for treason and sentenced to death. James now faced the toughest decision of his life. Just how far should he go in pleading for the life of the mother he hadn't seen since he was a baby? If he was seen to be weak, if he did nothing, then the Scottish people themselves might rise in defence of Mary. But if he shouted too loudly and severed his ties with England and with Elizabeth, what would that mean for his place, his unspoken place, in the line of succession? He sent ambassadors to London with clear, written instructions - the one, "To deal very earnestly both with the Queen "and her Councillors for our Sovereign mother's life." The other, "That our title to that Crown be not prejudged. " In other words, "Do nothing to jeopardise my claim to the English throne." James's next letter begged Elizabeth merely to exile Mary. But by then, it was clear that James was not going to make war to save his mother's life. # The lion and the unicorn were fighting for the crown # The lion beat the unicorn all around the town # Some gave them white bread and some gave them brown # Some gave them plum cake and drummed them out of town. # The English Royal Coat of Arms bears a lion, and the Scottish Coat of Arms bears a unicorn - the mythical wild animal that cannot be tamed... except by a virgin. Now the Virgin Queen had tamed her troublesome unicorn. Mary went to the block dressed as a Catholic martyr and still claiming to be the rightful Queen of England. Nothing became her in life like her death. James expected Elizabeth to reward him for his loyalty, but he was in for a shock, as again, she refused to officially name him as her chosen successor for the English crown. So James set about proving himself as a king... in Scotland. First, the Stuart line had to be strengthened. James chose a wife, Princess Anne of Protestant Denmark, who quickly gave birth to an heir, Henry. And then she produced a spare, Charles. Sometimes by force, but more often than not by guile, James started to stabilise his turbulent kingdom. Words were his main weapons and books were his ammunition in the constant struggle to stay in control. He even sought out copies of books from across the known world. So what have we got here, lain? Something rather intriguing - a translation into Scots of Machiavelli's famous treatise on statecraft, The Prince, done by William Fowler for his sovereign, James VI. And here is the first page. "The Prince of Nicholas Machiavelli, secretary and citizen of Florence, "translated furth of the Italian tongue." Rather nice usage of "furth" - "out of" the Italian tongue. What is The Prince all about? What's the essence of Machiavelli's work? Power. The getting, the keeping, the exercise of power, and the use of it for the prince's ends and for the good of his state. Machiavelli's book The Prince has become the most famous book on power in the world. It advises kings to act like a fox, as well as a lion, in keeping hold of it, which James did...amazingly well, and gradually, he established himself as a king who ruled with his head and not with his heart, a son who was the opposite of his mother, though every bit as ambitious. Elizabeth's stubborn refusal to name James as her chosen successor became irrelevant. The writing was on the wall for Tudor England, And james was the only real contender for the crown. Like his mother, the perfect solution to a very English problem. James had already proven himself to be an adept ruler in Scotland. He had succeeded where Mary had failed. He was also the right sex and the right religion to rule in England. And what's more, he had done something the Tudors had never been very good at - he'd produced viable heirs. Now all he had to do was live longer than Elizabeth. But Elizabeth lived on and on and on. In fact, Elizabeth I lived longer than any English monarch had ever lived before. Little Arthur was forced to bide his time and contemplate his master plan for when he finally took over in England. james was 36 when he received the news he'd spent half a lifetime waiting for. Elizabeth was dead. The Tudors were finished. And England needed a king. James received the news just three days after the death of Elizabeth. The king-makers wanted him to go down south. He was to go immediately and directly to the seat of power. But James had other ideas. For one thing, he was going to take his time. And for another, he wasn't going to travel light. He was going to take his whole entourage - all the pomp and circumstance he could manage. This was to be a triumphal tour of the promised land. Now a moment that Scottish kings could only have dreamed of had arrived. A Scottish takeover of England was happening, and the moment belonged to a king who had proven himself as a clever and effective ruler, one of the most accomplished kings Scotland had ever produced. He entered London just a few days after an outbreak of plague. Shortly after, he took a barge along the Thames to the Tower, where he finally saw the English Crown jewels that now belonged to him. Put yourself in James's position. This was the seat of power of his most ancient foe - the enemies of his blood. The people who had burned, raped and murdered his forebears, who had sought to dominate his nation for 300 years, were offering everything they had, throne and crown included, to him. Imagine what that must have felt like. After the grand entrance, the great words of welcome, james unveiled his master plan, and it went way beyond just being the king of two separate kingdoms. Now, according to James, was the chosen moment for a new country to be born. James had a crystal-clear vision of the future and his place in it. This was to be a Great Britain - united under a common religion, common laws and common citizenship. He would be at the top - king and emperor of it all. And most crucially, it was to be a union of two equal nations. But that was precisely where the problem lay. "What's so equal about Scotland and England?" said the English nobility. England, they thought, was clearly the superior nation - richer, more developed, stronger. What benefit would there be in joining with backward and impoverished Scots? Yet a Scot was now their king, and he was determined to take his idea of Great Britain to Parliament. It didn't exactly go down a storm. James was accustomed to getting his own way with Parliament in Scotland. He expected unquestioning obedience. But the men here would not roll over - certainly not for an upstart Scot. Inside Parliament, it quickly became clear that james wasn't about to get his own way. And outside Parliament, relations between Scots and English were on the point of breaking down. James exacerbated the situation by his own actions. He began to shower his inner Scottish circle with gifts - money, pensions, land. English estates were dealt out to Scottish nobles. And suddenly, England seemed to be ruled by a clique of very powerful Scots, blocking the way of English courtiers and nobles to riches and royal favour. Scots in London began to acquire a reputation as being on the make and tight-fisted and closed ranks around their king. Their prominence was to make them a target in one of the most spectacular conspiracies in British history. One group had come to especially hate james and his expatriate entourage and decided to take matters into their own hands. English Catholics felt the Scottish king had let them down with empty promises of tolerance. And so they turned not only against james, but against all Scots in London. One of these conspirators was a mercenary called Guy Fawkes. The gunpowder was heaped up under the Houses of Parliament. But the institution itself was not the target. King James was - Protestant, Scottish, King James. They later said they had enough gunpowder to blast him all the way back to Scotland. After the plot had been foiled, after Guy Fawkes had been tortured and made his confession, it was revealed that the conspirators had detailed maps and plans giving the locations of the houses of every prominent Scot in London. What they had planned was nothing less than the ethnic cleansing of the whole city. James's project for a peaceful, united Britain was in desperate trouble. In the absence of meaningful progress, james resorted to symbols, to gestures, to flags. Once James was settled in London, he asked one of his English advisors to come up with some designs for a new flag for his United Kingdom. And don't the results give a telling insight into the mind-set of the English establishment of the time? Scots were gripped by the new fear that the independence of their unconquered nation was under threat, that a Scottish king would do with the pen what no English king had been able to do with the sword - turn Scotland into a satellite of England. Scotland would now be outranked by England, "And thereby loss her beauty for ever," said one commentator. Scotland will turn into "a pendicle of England," said another. The Union Flag, with the English cross set on a Scottish background, was what james chose to represent his united kingdoms. But in James's lifetime, it was no more than a reminder of what might have been, of an idea whose time hadn't yet come. The people of the islands, both Scots and English alike, weren't ready to be British. And so Project Britain ground to a halt. For centuries, English kings had used the prophecy of King Arthur's return to try and justify their attempts to subdue Scotland. But in one of the great ironies of British history, it was Scotland's own Little Arthur, James, who fulfilled that prophecy. What james had seen as a great victory for Scotland, other Scots felt as a loss. For the first time, Scots now found themselves ruled from distant London, and a new reality dawned. By 1603, the Scottish people had a powerful sense of their identity as an ancient and free nation, unconquered by successive waves of invaders, who had fought time and again to secure their freedom and forged a place in Europe. They had also created a unique and distinctive court. But the events of 1603 weren't just a further step along that road. They were the decisive turning point in Scotland's story. The peace and co-operation that 1603 seemed to promise would be short-lived. In the century to come, Scotland and England would experience a terrible escalation of violence in a furious civil war to resolve just what Britain actually meant and what sort of country the new Scotland would become. For almost 20 years in the 17th century, this island was the most secure prison in the entire British Isles. Welcome to the Bass Rock, in the Firth of Forth. Welcome to Scotland's Alcatraz. There was no escape from the Bass. Its cells were home to the country's most dangerous men, men whose religious beliefs threatened the stability of Britain itself. Their radical vision was declared in a document called the National Covenant. The National Covenant would unseat kings, license revolution, cost tens of thousands of Scots their lives. It started the Civil War that would cost King Charles I his head. He struggled to erase the Covenant from history, but to tell the truth, there was never any chance that he would succeed. After all, he was only a king. And the National Covenant was a contract between Scotland and God. In 1633, King Charles I came here, to Edinburgh, for his coronation. It was a visit he would really rather not have made. He had been king for eight years now, and if the Scots had given in to his frequent demands that the Scottish Crown jewels be sent to London, then the trip wouldn't have been necessary. But the Scots had said no. Several times. So here he was. It was his first visit to Scotland in 30 years. Scotland had missed their king. They'd missed his father James as well. After all, the Stuart dynasty might now be in charge of all three kingdoms, but it was Scotland that they came from. And now, here Charles was, processing down the Royal Mile towards his palace at Holyrood. The crowds were cheering. The Scots were pleased to see him... because they hadn't seen him before. Charles was ignorant of everything that mattered to his Scottish subjects, especially the Presbyterian Kirk. It might have helped to meet some of its members. Someone, for instance, like Archibald Johnston of Warriston, a deeply religious young lawyer. Warriston was as sure as his fellow Presbyterians that the Scottish Church was the closest to perfection on Earth. But equally certain that it was still sinful, because it was made of human beings, and humans fall short. King Jesus is the perfect one. King Jesus supplies the grace and mercy that we lack. King Charles, on the other hand, chose his first visit to Scotland to show that grace was not his strong point. The Scots had made plans for the coronation, but Charles rewrote them. He would not be visiting Scone, with its charmless and poky chapel. He would have the service here, in Holyrood Abbey, with suitable pomp. And the coronation service would be Anglican, conducted by an English priest. A Scottish minister simply wouldn't do. Clumsy. But Charles sincerely believed he was God's anointed king. He sincerely believed that his Church, the Anglican Church, worshipped God correctly and that the Presbyterian Church did not. A shiver ran down the spines of Scotland 's Presbyterians. The King had forced change on their Church once before. Charles 's father had imposed bishops on them, but to the Presbyterians, every soul was equal. Bishops were distasteful. The King's task was to defend the Church, not define it. But it would take more than courage to say no to the King. Warriston kept a diary, a window into the mind of a man who would do just that. So, this is all diary in here? WOMAN: It certainly is. - It's fair to say he liked taking notes! - He wrote all the time. He wrote when he was in church, he wrote when he was on horseback, he wrote and he wrote and he wrote. What kind of man is revealed in these pages? A fiery, fanatical, energetic, zealous man at the forefront of a revolution. Royal authority, it's not something we take very seriously, but in the 17th century, you thought God's authority came down through royalty, came down through the people to whom royalty delegated their powers. If the King tells you to do something, and you are studying your Bible, and this great feeling is washing through you in prayer, you have the courage to say no to the King, even if that leads you to the gallows or the headsman's axe. The King provided the Presbyterians with many things to say no to. Charles ordered the con version of Edinburgh '5 High Kirk, 5 t Giles, into an Anglican-style cathedral. He appointed new bishops. And then, three years after his troubling visit, a rumour came to Warriston's ears. The King intended to introduce an Anglican service book in Scotland. Scots tended to look down their noses at the English Reformation. Technically, both Anglicans and Presbyterians were Protestant. Both had rejected the Catholic Church and the powers of the Pope who led it, but as far as the Presbyterians were concerned, all the English had done was swap the Pope for their own King. In due course, in 1637, the prayer book arrived. It was an Anglican prayer book with superficial tweaks. The presiding minister was called a Presbyter, but the words he spoke were priestly. Popish, to Presbyterian ears. Warriston went to a meeting to discuss the new prayer book at the end of May. When he got home, he wrote in his diary that it was the very image of the Beast. The 23rd July 1637 was the day appointed for the first use, throughout Scotland, of Charles's new prayer book. The Bishop of Brechin had no trouble at all when he conducted the service, but the Bishop of Brechin delivered the service with a pair of loaded pistols on either side of the service book. In Edinburgh, the presiding Bishop and his Dean took no such precautions. They were beaten up, they were pelted with shit. The new prayer book was ripped to shreds and the Dean had to hide in the clock tower. Later, the carriage in which the Bishop and the Dean tried to make their escape was rocked and rolled and overturned. The rioting lasted for hours, until nightfall. In due course, the riots became a revolt. Charles had no idea how serious things were getting in Scotland. His advisers kept the truth under their flamboyant hats. The Scots had formed an alternative government and Warriston was appointed as its secretary. They wanted a useful Scottish king, who would visit Scotland more than once a decade, who understood the Presbyterian Kirk. They wanted everything that Charles was not. So Warriston made a suggestion. They should rewrite him. This was their rewritten king, the National Covenant of 1638, drafted by Warriston with the help of the leading minister of the day, Alexander Henderson. It was addressed to an idealised Charles I who already understood his duties as a Presbyterian king. It was addressed, in other words, to a king who didn't exist. In carefully respectful terms, it attacked all the changes that Charles had made, and everything he stood for. It demanded a monarchy limited by a constitution, limited in power, limited by laws. The Covenant was a contract between three parties - the King, whose task was the defence of the Presbyterian Kirk, the people, and God himself. It was called the Covenant as a reference to the Old Testament, to the Covenant made by God with his chosen people. In the Old Testament, the chosen people had been the Jews. But it was and is an article of Christian faith that the coming of Christ, and his death on the cross, changed the Covenant. God's chosen people now were Christians. The National Covenant of 1638 went a bit further. God's chosen people were the faithful members of the most perfect Church on the face of the Earth, the Scottish Presbyterian Kirk. A meeting was scheduled here, at Greyfriars Kirk in Edinburgh, for the 28th February 1638. The Covenant was signed by 3,250 people. Warriston signed it himself, and in his diary that evening he wrote, "This is the glorious marriage day of the Kingdom with God." Copies were sent to every parish in Scotland. One Sunday in March, Warriston took his family to a kirk south-west of Edinburgh. It was a chance to see how the Covenant was being received outside the city. The minister explained the Covenant. The congregation sat unmoved. Then the minister asked them to stand and swear their Covenant to the Almighty God. The congregation rose to their feet. They raised their hands. They broke down, they wept, they testified. The minister was almost suffocated by his own tears. They swore their Covenant with God. And after 15 minutes, they fell down on their knees and prayed. Warriston was stunned. "Lord," he wrote, "let me never forget my part in this. "There is a very near parallel between Israel and this Church, "for we are the only two nations sworn unto the Lord. "Our Scots Kirk in its rediscovered perfection "will be a pattern for other nations. "We shall extend the royal prerogative "of King Jesus the Son of God above all others, "perhaps extend his kingdom throughout the Earth." The enthusiasm was national in scale. At the very least, 60% of Scotland 's million people promised themselves to God, and believed that God made them a promise in return. They were his chosen people. And it was indeed the people who signed. They weren't even used to holding pens. Now they were signing a document of national significance. This was a new world where a king like Charles I could soon find it hard to breathe. But not all the signatures were freely given. Failure to sign the Covenant was considered sinful. Dubious. Popish. And what if God was watching, and saw that you had failed to sign? Not all the signatures were shaky for lack of practice. But once they'd signed, whatever their reasons, then they'd made an oath, a contract, a promise to God. Impossible to unmake. Impossible to untake. A heavy weight on any conscience, a terrible weight for any nation to inflict upon itself. A constant pressure towards extremism, fundamentalism, madness. It took a year for Charles to realise how far his Scottish subjects had gone beyond mere disobedience. They would have to be brought to heel. Charles began preparing for war. Other kings of England would have turned to Parliament for money, but the English Parliament had shown insufficient sympathy with Charles's belief that his rule was absolute, so he hadn't called them for ten years. The alternative was war on the never-never. Charles began to look for someone to borrow from. The Scots raised an army of fervent Covenanters, led by expert soldiers who had returned home from foreign wars. Charles raised the military equivalent of a tickling stick. He lost. Twice. By September of 1640, he was shamed and mired in debt. He had to call the English Parliament. And the English Parliament was full of Protestants who wanted the same things as the Scots - limits to his power. They didn't understand that he was God's anointed, trying to save their souls. Charles declared war on Parliament in August 7642. The English Civil War had begun. Warriston had prayed for a chance to extend the power of King Jesus beyond Scotland 's borders. The English Civil War was a regrettable bloodbath, of course, but it was also an opportunity. For the first year, the Scots took no part. Charles and his Royalist army secured victory after victory. And in the autumn of 1643, England's Parliament sent agents north to Scotland, to ask for help. The National Covenant had been for Scotland alone. The Solemn League and Covenant of 7643 would go much further. I wasn't expecting to see this in the form of a little hardback book. WOMAN: Unlike the National Covenant, Solemn Leagues actually tend to be printed. They are normally a plain, printed book that is signed up to. - We have these lovely engravings here. - What do they tell us? One of my favourite illustrations is this one here. It shows how the Covenant is more radical than that of 1638. There's no wishy-washy stuff from bishops here. It's the extirpation of Popery, prelacy, that is bishops. And here we have these bishops, prelates, deans, deacons, all being cast out of the Church, being insulted as they go. Something as benign as a chorister is an evil that has to be extirpated? Oh, yes, of course. This expanded Covenant closed a simple deal. In return for their military assistance, the Scots required the establishment in both England and Ireland of a Presbyterian Kirk, modelled after Scotland's very own. Plus expenses. The royal prerogative of King Jesus would extend through all three kingdoms. Now the Scots had something serious to fight for. They happily sent an army of 20,000 men south, complete with ministers and a battle cry - "King Jesus. " In July, at the battle of Marston Moor in Yorkshire, they won the first of many victories over Charles 's army. The Scots had turned the tide. Charles would never have the upper hand again. Two years later, Charles sent his sons Charles and James to France, for safety, and surrendered to the Scots. He was taken to Newcastle. Alexander Henderson and Warriston, the Covenant's co-authors, were sent to persuade him to sign the Covenant. There were two paths open to Charles. On the one side, a long life as a Covenanted king, limited by laws, but the country's leader still. On the other, more war, more loss of life. The faint hope of victory for absolute monarchy. They got down on their knees and begged Charles to sign the Covenant, accept a kingship limited by laws, to agree to establish in all three kingdoms a Presbyterian Church of which he was in no sense the head. They were asking for peace, of course, but they were also asking Charles to reject his God, to reject his entire understanding of himself, his duties, his place on Earth. The King couldn't say yes. It was a syllable too far. He did not sign the Covenant. The Scots handed the King over to the English Parliament. But in his own mind, he was still king by God 's grace. It would be sinful simply to accept his fate. Secretly, he made contact with the nobles of the country that his dynasty had been born in. Scotland's nobles had signed the Covenant, but it was Charles's hope that their loyalty to his family would prove stronger. And he was proved right. The nobles agreed to fight for him again, provided that if they won, he would adopt the Covenant and the Presbyterian Kirk for a three-year trial period in all his kingdoms. The nobles took their secret deal to the rest of the Covenanters. And the very idea split the movement in two. For the ordinary folk who made up the majority of the movement, the Covenant was everything. This talk of three-year trials was nonsense. They would not fight for the vague promises of an uncovenanted king. They became known as the Protesters. The appeals of the Protesters fell on deaf ears. The nobles marched south to fight for Charles. And at Preston, they were defeated utterly by an army led by a former gentleman farmer, Oliver Cromwell. For the Protesters, this was no more than God's judgment. God did not want the nobles to run the country. The Protesters seized the capital and purged the ungodly nobles from power. Warriston joined them. Now the Protesters were the heart of the Covenanting movement, God's people. And a government as well. This was the Rule of the Saints. They packed the governing session of the Kirk with their members. They seized control of public conduct. Backsliders and opponents would be executed. No sin would go unpunished. There were floggings, ears nailed to posts, holes bored in tongues. The Rule of the Saints marked the high point of the Covenant's power. Covenanters in later years would remember it as the golden age. But there was no way the Rule of the Saints could ever have lasted. It was only possible while certain things remained undecided, such as the fate of the King. By December of 1648, Cromwell had become the leader of a faction that controlled the English Parliament behind the scenes. All those who might have defended the King were purged from Parliament, and an act was passed. The King would be prosecuted for treason. The trial began on the 20th January 1649. Charles refused to defend himself. He refused to recognise the jurisdiction of the court, or the logic of the charge itself. But this was the new world, where kings found it hard to breathe. On the 30th January 1649, they cut off his head. When the King's head fell, the old world ceased to be. It went mad. The people were horrified by what Cromwell's faction had done. $0 the English Parliament abolished monarchy. If there was no king, there was no crime. They had beheaded a nobody. No-one had asked the Scots if th ey wanted their king beheaded. Their Covenant needed a king, like King David in the Bible. Their Covenant needed his signature. A dead king could sign nothing. So within a week of the King's execution, they declared his son Charles king instead. The 20-year-old Charles returned from France to take the throne. It was imperative that he sign the Covenant. His ship arrived in the mouth of the Spey, in the north east, in June. It anchored, and before he had had a chance to set foot on land, commissioners went on board, presented him with a copy of the Covenant, and required his signature. He signed. Because he had to. But in Cromwell's world, there could be no kings. As long as there were kings, he was a regicide, a king-killer, which meant that Cromwell had a bone or two to pick with the Scots. In July of 7650, Cromwell came north. At first, his campaign went badly. He was forced back to Dunbar, his back to the sea. One last push would secure his total defeat. The Protesters mustered their army in Leith. It was more than double the size of Cromwell's force. The godliest of the godly, Warriston amongst them, chose this moment to insist that the army be purged of its ungodly elements. The ungodly elements, tended, by and large, to be the professional soldiers upon whom the army's success had depended. "God can do much with a few," said Warriston. He was right. But God chose to do it for the other side. One morning in September, Cromwell broke out of Dunbar at dawn, killed 4,000, took 10,000 prisoner, and put the rest of the Covenanting army to flight. It became one of Cromwell's most famous victories. It made him seem, at last, like a possible leader, not just of an army, but of the country itself. The very next day, the Kirk Session and the town council fled from Edinburgh. The Rule of the Saints was over. The young King Charles fled to France, and the English Parliament declared the birth of a new country. The Great Britain of the Stuarts, the Union of the Crowns, was gone, replaced by the Commonwealth of England, Scotland and Ireland. Behind the pleasant title was a brutal union of conquest, secured by pillage, massacre, and the presence in Scotland of an English army of occupation, 10,000 strong. In 1653, Cromwell became something called Lord Protector. Not a king, but still addressed as "Your Highness" by those who served him. Behind his back, people called him a tyrant and usurper. For four years, Warriston held himself aloof from the new regime. But in the end, his ambition required him to collaborate. He just couldn't bear being unimportant. In 1657, Cromwell made him the Lord Clerk Register, chief record keeper of the Scottish Government, and gave him a position on the English Council of State. It was a dream of power. And a nightmare of betrayal. just what was Warriston loyal to now, apart from himself? It was hard to say. The Covenant hung over his head as much as anybody's, but there was no king. There was someone who looked and behaved increasingly like one. But that was Cromwell. He began to look like a king reflected in a wicked mirror - ugly, ill-favoured, a tyrant with a bloodstained chin. Warriston kept on with his daily regime of prayer, manufacturing certainty as best he could. Then Cromwell died. His unreal regime died with him. Now the Commonwealth was headless. But there was a head available. It belonged to Charles II. On May 8th 1660, the English Parliament proclaimed Charles II King of England. The Scottish Parliament did likewise one week later. There were scenes of wild celebration in Edinburgh - toasts drunk, glasses shattered, cannons fired. The joy was hysterical. 11 years of guilt unleashed. Warriston felt the future tighten around his neck, and fled to Europe. The brief and ugly experiment was over. The headless king had horrified everyone. No-one wanted anything to do with dictators, no-one wanted anything to do with the almost-democracy of the Covenant. The way ahead was backwards. The Parliaments of both England and Scotland began undoing things. They remade the old world. They remade the Union of the Crowns. You could hardly see the join. It was as though nothing had happened. As though this Charles was that Charles. His father's ghost was promoted. He became King Charles the Martyr. Cromwell's body was exhumed and its head cut off. There was no Cromwell. There had been no Civil War. There was no Covenant. There would be no Covenanters. The English Parliament declared the Solemn League and Covenant of 1643 unlawful. Surviving copies were collected and burnt by the public hangman, executed as though they were people. Charles was destroying the evidence of the new world that had killed his father. Everyone knew there would be changes for the Presbyterian Church. Perhaps it would be enough for Charles that the Protesters no longer ran it. It wouldn't. Charles appointed bishops and archbishops. He ordered Scotland's ministers to swear an Oath of Allegiance to him, and also required that every minister seek the nomination of a local member of the gentry. 262 out of roughly 1,000 ministers failed to make the cut, couldn't or wouldn't take the oath, couldn't or wouldn't find a noble patron. So 262 ministers, mostly in the south west, were made redundant. Alexander Peden was one of them. Until 1662, Peden was a minister in the parish of New Luce, in the deep south west. Charles's Oath of Allegiance stuck in his craw. He couldn't say it, let alone swear it. On the last Sunday before his expulsion, Peden entered the pulpit at New Luce and preached. It was a performance to warm the heart of a Warriston. He preached from morning until midnight. When at last he left the pulpit, he struck its door three times and ordered it never to open again, except for a Presbyterian minister like himself. This became his pulpit instead. Any rock would do, to be honest. And this became his kirk. He became a field preacher. A man on the run, with a growing reputation. His followers called him Prophet Peden. The meetings to which he preached were outlawed under the new King's regime, but they took place regardless. The largest drew crowds of 10,000 and the crowd bore arms. Here, and in places like this, he preached to a movement that the Covenant had created, to people who had no nobles, no gentry to lead them, and never felt the lack. They were voices in the wilderness, pointing at the Stuart dynasty and crying tyrant, insisting that the King could not do as he wished. Almost nobody was listening. Once, the Covenanter movement had run the entire country. Now it was numerous only in the south west, numerous and illegal, dismissed by the mainstream. The nobles, many of the ministers and most of the rest of society had gone back indoors, where it was warm under the umbrella of what the King permitted. The Protesters stayed outside. They liked it cold. In Prophet Peden, the Protesters had found a new hero. He was desperately needed. The government of Charles ll was eating up the old ones. In 1663, Warriston was finally arrested in France. The last of 78 men that Charles held responsible for his father's death. The gallows were built unusually high, opposite his former house on the Royal Mile. On the night before his execution, a friend visited him in jail and Warriston told him he could never doubt of his own salvation. He had so often seen God's face in the house of prayer. Time passed. The King adopted a more tolerant policy. He licensed some of the Protesting ministers to preach once more, as long as they accepted that he, not King Jesus, was head of the Church. For Peden and the hardcore of the Protesters, this was wickedly similar to Catholic Christianity, where the head of the Church was human, and had power over individual souls. The King, they were now certain, was Popish. Even paranoids are right occasionally. In 1670, Charles concluded a secret treaty with the most powerful Catholic king in Europe, Louis XIV of France. Louis agreed to provide Charles with a generous annual pension. This was to assist Charles in the restoration of his kingdoms to the arms, the very open arms, of the Catholic Church, at which point Charles would announce his own Catholicism. And Charles promised that once the national conversion was complete, he would assist the French in their war against the Protestant Dutch. This was a secret that Charles must keep. Anyone who accused the King of Popery must be silenced. The most outspoken Protesters were confined on the Bass Rock. Peden was one of them. He was imprisoned there for four long years. Their leaders were captives, the King 's power seemed limitless. Everything that the Protesters had once achieved was being undone. The idea grew amongst them that a spectacular act of rebellion would recall their countrymen to the one true path. Bishops were at the heart of the wicked changes that the King had made. And the Archbishop of St Andrews had once been, like themselves, a decent Presbyterian. On 3rd May 1679, Archbishop Sharp was returning to St Andrews with his daughter. But nine Protesting Covenanters had lain in wait. They gave chase. Sharp's coach was just two or three miles from safety when it was brought to a standstill. It was an assassination, a terrorist act. The Government sent a taskforce to the Protesting heartland to stamp on the rats, led by a newly appointed captain, john Graham of Claverhouse. Claverhouse knew that the crowds at field preachings could sometimes number as much as 10,000. But he was unaware that they were half religious service, half army, like the one he blundered into at Drumclog. The terrain was boggy and treacherous. Claverhouse's men were trained, but outnumbered. Manoeuvres were simply impossible. They were defeated. Claverhouse was almost killed. Soon afterwards, Glasgow fell to the Protesters. With this victory, the golden age seemed within their grasp. They could have marched on Edinburgh to restore the Rule of the Saints. Instead, they made camp near Both well Brig, just south of Glasgow, and settled down for three weeks of discussion. Should the ungodly be allowed to join the army? Were they fighting to unseat Charles for failing in his duty as a Covenanted King, or were they fighting simply to reproach the King and restore him to the path of righteousness? During these three weeks, the Protesters dissolved into smaller and smaller factions. Tubs were thumped. Hobby horses were ridden. Fine points of theology debated. Perhaps they were under the illusion that the King was in a mood for clemency. After all, Peden was once again at liberty. But Peden himself wasn't at Bothwell. He had learnt his lesson on the Bass. The best sort of prophet to be was one who was breathing. From a safe distance of 40 miles, he prophesied the bloody slaughter of his friends at Bothwell Brig. Wherever his information came from, it was accurate. 400 of the Bothwell debaters were killed, 1,200 taken prisoner, the rest dispersed in terror. But Bothwell Brig had shown that the Covenanting movement was still a threat. Executions of the Protesters became frequent. In 1681, a widow's son from a small town in Dumfriesshire came to watch as the very last Protesting minister swung to glory. And he decided that a martyr's death would suit him, too. His name was James Renwick. Later that year, he came into the city to watch another five executions. Five more of his fellow Protesters. Their heads were stuck on the city's Netherbow gate. And that night, Renwick climbed up, took them down, and buried the five grisly parcels with all due ceremony. He began to rise in the ranks of the Protesters. Renwick was in the bloom of youth. The King who so offended him, Charles ll, was withering on the vine. His wife had proved barren. Charles had fathered several bastards, but male bastards weren't considered king material. There was only one alternative - the King's brother, James. At the King's command, he was confirmed as Charles [J's successor. But James had been openly Catholic for almost ten years. The vast majority of his future subjects were Protestants, for whom Rome was a byword for tyranny. Yet almost nobody dared object. He was a Stuart, after all, and guilt for his father's execution stilled most tongues. Only the Protesters said out loud that here was the final proof that the Stuart dynasty was unfit to rule. Since Bothwell Brig, the Protesters' numbers had declined. There were no more than 6,000 left, when once the Covenant could have claimed 600,000. They didn't care. They rechristened themselves the United Societies, declared that they were the country's rightful government, and as their leader, they chose James Renwick. To announce their presence, they marched into Lanark to the Mercat Cross and burnt copies of the acts that made James next in line for the throne. Then they made their own declaration. In the name of the people, for whom of course they did not speak, they rejected the Stuart dynasty. They rejected Charles as King on the grounds that he had destroyed the perfect reformation, on the grounds that he'd turned his court into a brothel. On the grounds of the hateful Catholicism of his intended heir. They demanded a return to the years of 1648 and 1649, to the Rule of the Saints. Then they took up hammers and smashed the Mercat Cross. Renwick's United Societies cut a dash. They drew the eye of Prophet Peden. He took to preaching sermons that supported them. He lamented the bad faith of the nobles, gentlemen and ministers who had deserted the Covenant for the safety of Charles II's Church. "They are vile bastards," he said. Clearly, Peden hoped the United Societies would take him on as their minister. But Renwick let it be known that Peden had been tested and found wanting. His numerous absences whilst others had lost their lives had been noted. In fact, he had disgracefully failed to die on several occasions. Not like Renwick. Renwick was more than willing to die if his God required it. Renwick was insanely resolute. And with his 6,000 men, he was perfectly capable of starting a second civil war. He and his followers were eminently worth killing. But how could these dangerous men be identified? The Government needed to look inside its subjects' heads. An oath was framed requiring all citizens to reject the United Societies, but there were questions, too. Could the subject say, "God save the King"? No-one from the United Societies could say that of Charles II. Not when God was listening. And God was always listening. john Graham of Claverhouse, fast becoming the Government's enforcer of choice, was sent into the south west, armed with the oath. The oath could be administered on the spot and failure to take it was punishable by instant death. These months would be remembered as the Killing Times. It wasn't the numbers that made the Killing Times notorious. The numbers weren't great. It was the summary nature of the executions. No courts. No appeals. Just a bullet in the head. A little over 90 deaths in a little less than a year. The killings began in December and provided an unpleasant baptism for the beginning of a new and inauspicious reign, the reign of James VII and II. In February 7685, Charles I! died of a stroke. James's succession was unopposed. The Stuart dynasty seemed unassailable. Now there were two powerful Catholic monarchs for Europe's Protestants to contend with. In France, Louis XIV. In Britain, James VII and II. For William of Orange, the Calvinist Prince of the Dutch Republic, the prospect of a Catholic alliance between Louis XIV and James was too frightening for words. He had been fighting the French off and on for years, and he was a Stuart, or very nearly. He was James's nephew and son-in-law. In short, he had a claim to James's crowns. James set about providing William of Orange with ammunition. He decreed that Catholics could not only worship, but hold office. He was his father's son. Parliament was not consulted. Catholics became a majority on the Privy Council, Catholics were appointed to the control of royal burghs. Little was lacking from James's victory. Only the United Societies remained. He set a price on Renwick's head by proclamation. £100, dead or alive. It was clear to Renwick what his God required of him. He would preach in the fields outside Edinburgh, he would even enter the city itself. He would make it easy for the King's men to find him. The authorities entered the house he was staying in. Renwick shot one of them, escaped, but couldn't or wouldn't run. He walked this far, to Castle Wynd, where he was captured. He was too important a prize for simple execution. For two weeks, the authorities attempted to extract from him a confession that he had never done God's work. This proved impossible. His execution was finally fixed for February 17th 1688. On the scaffold, Renwick spoke for King Jesus at considerable length. He recited Psalm 103. "The Lord has established His throne in Heaven, and His kingdom rules over all." He read from Revelations, Chapter 19. "Come and gather yourselves together unto the supper of the great God, "that ye may eat the flesh of kings." And he concluded, "Lord, I die in the faith that you will not leave Scotland, "but that you will make the blood of your witnesses the seed of your Church, "and return again and be glorious in our land. "And now, Lord, I am ready." Renwick's death made James feel safe. He could ignore the Covenant. He was anointed by God, an absolute monarch, unchallenged. And then he did what his brother had failed to do - he secured the future of the Stuart dynasty. On the 10th of June of that year, the King's wife gave birth to a healthy male heir, James Francis Edward. A rhyme began to do the rounds. James should have listened to it. It was a prophecy. Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top When the wind blows, the cradle will rock When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall Down will come baby, cradle and all. The roots of his power as a Catholic king were far from deep. They had grown upon stony Protestant ground. William of Orange had begun preparing an invasion fleet two months before the child was born. The fleet was ready by the first week of October. With sailors and others included, William's force totalled some 70,000. Clearly, he had no intention of doing this twice. The army landed in Devon in the first week of November. And almost at once, James's support began mysteriously to wither away. Because in the end, Stuart or not, son of the headless king or not, he was a Catholic. On the night of 9th December, the Queen and the King's young heir fled to France. James VII and II followed on the 23rd. He hadn't abdicated. But everybody decided to behave as though he had. They decided, too, that this wasn't an invasion. This would be the Glorious Revolution. They had invited William of Orange. Do come and take a kingdom! Dress - military. RSVP. In May of 1689, William of Orange and his wife Mary accepted a joint monarchy of England, Scotland and Ireland. A monarchy with strings attached. The Crown could no longer suspend laws, levy taxes, or maintain a standing army in peacetime without Parliament's permission. Here, at last, was the new world, 50 years after the Covenanters had first asked for it. 50 years after Charles I had said no. In England, the Stuarts were kings no longer, with hardly a shot fired. The Glorious Revolution would acquire another adjective. Bloodless. But in Scotland, there was blood aplenty. Several northern nobles remained faithful to James. One of these Jacobites was john Graham of Claverhouse, now the Viscount Dundee. Claverhouse went north, formed an army, won a decisive victory at Killiecrankie, and died of his wounds on the battlefield. The first Jacobite rebellion died with him, but its body twitched for some time after. It took several months to crush the Jacobite garrison in Edinburgh Castle. But the garrison here held out longest of all. So it was on the Bass Rock that the Stuart dynasty finally lost its grip on power. At last, there was a kind of peace. The moderate remnants of the Presbyterians reached a compromise with King William. Bishops were abolished, and the Presbyterians resumed control of the Church of Scotland. But they were deceiving themselves. They were the Church of southern Scotland. Because in the north, loyalty to the older kind of God-anointed king remained in force. The split in the Kirk was a split in the country, an unheated wound, and the Stuarts, of course, were far from dead. Health care! When do we want it? Now! What do we want? Health care! When do we want it? Now! What do we want? Health care! When do we want it? Now! What do we want? Health care! When do we want it? Now! What do we want? Health care! When do we want it? Now! They say cutback! We say fight back! They say cutback! We say fight back! They say cutback! We say fight back! They say cutback! We say fight back! They say cutback! We say fight back! (all) Hey, hey! Ho, ho! Poverty has got to go! Hey, hey! Ho, ho! Poverty has got to go! Hey, hey! Ho, ho! Poverty has got to go! Hey, hey! Ho, ho! Poverty has got to go! Hey, hey! Ho, ho! Poverty has got to go! Hey, hey! Ho, ho! Poverty has got to go! Hey, hey! Ho, ho! Poverty has got to go! # Try and change # # Your perspective # # And you might find # # You're perfected # # You're perfected # # Just try and change # # Your perspective # # And you might find # # You're perfected # # Perfected # # Perfected... # (man) I'd just like to, uh... end this... with a moment of silence... for our dear friend, Babo. He passed away... because he didn't have health care... A moment of silence... # Try and change # # Your perspective # # And you might find # # You're perfected # # Just try and change # # Your perspective # # And you might find # # You're perfected # # Perfected # # You might find # # You're perfected # # Perfected # # You might find # # You're perfected # # Perfected # # Perfected # # Perfected # # Perfected # # Perfected # # Perfected # And the final number is 44, making tonight's Gold Rush numbers, 35, 4, 7, 53, 23 and 44. This is your Gold Rush girl, Marissa Kessler, wishing everyone a lucky lotto day. Somebody help me! Help! Help me! No! No! No! Don't, please! Don't! It's a jungle out there Disorder and confusion everywhere No one seems to care Well, I do Hey, who's in charge here? It's a jungle out there Poison in the very air we breathe You know what's in the water that you drink? Well, I do It's amazing People think I'm crazy 'cause I worry all the time If you paid attention, you'd be worried, too You better pay attention Or this world we love so much might just kill you I could be wrong now But I don't think so 'Cause there's a jungle out there It's a jungle out there There's something wrong here. This is wrong. This is very wrong. This is very, very... Wrong? This was no random mugging. This was all about her. He was after her. He took her purse and some jewelry. He wanted us to think robbery. She was stabbed six times. That's right. Two in the neck. Four in the back. Or, was stabbed three times. Look at the pattern. It's two, two and two. Three times. With a pair of scissors. Yes. That's possible. Who brings scissors to a mugging? Scissors say what? Spur of the moment. Not planned. Plus the mud on her shoes. There's a mud puddle near the exit. But there's a light right there. If she was walking, she would have seen that. So, she was running when she left the building. Whatever happened started inside. There was some kind of fight. He grabbed some scissors and chased her out here. Find me the station manager. I want a list of every employee that was here last night. Make that every employee, period. Yes, sir. Any idea on motive? I guess you could say that there were 12 million people with a motive. Myself, included. This was the lotto girl. She broke my heart three times a week. What is that? What is what? On her fingertips. Is that paint? Yeah. Looks like it. Hey, Gabby. Take a sample from her left fingers. Okay. Excuse me. Mr. Monk? I have a nephew. He's 10 years old. He's your biggest fan. He... He clips articles. He thinks you're cooler than Spiderman. Really? Kids. If I could get your autograph, he'd think I'm some kind of hero. Sorry. Mr. Monk is working. Maybe when he's finished. Oh. Sorry. Anything else? Clues, clues. Scanning, scanning. No, that's it. All done. You said something about an autograph? That would be great. Thank you so much. Would you mind... Would you mind... Perpendicular. Put your head down. Your hair is in the way. Head down. Head down. Are you okay? Oh, she's fine. She looks mad. Yeah, that's just her look. What's that? "It looks like her number came up." It's a zinger. She's a lotto girl. Her number came up. Get it? Mmm-hmm. Do you remember last year, Sergeant Beecham shoved that junkie into a lamp post and he said, "I'll keep you posted"? Oh, yeah. I heard about that. Yeah, everybody heard about it. I mean, people were repeating it. It was famous. This is even better. This is a classic. If you say so. Yeah, I just need to pick the right moment. Captain? If you're ready to release the body, I can take her downtown. Okay. I still don't get it. Who would want to kill the lotto girl? I guess her number came up. Hey! What are you doing? Hey, what are you doing? That was my line, man. What are you talking about? I just said the exact same thing two seconds ago. Ask the Captain. Randy, this is a crime scene. For God's sakes... No. You heard me. Yeah. You know what? He must have heard me. Huh? Yeah, it's okay. Look. It's written in my notebook. Right here. See that? "It looks like her number came up." Let's see your notebook. I didn't write it down. I just thought of it. Please. Come on. Can you believe this guy? You know what? I'm going to have your badge, Officer... Come on, Shifty. Let's walk it off. Excuse me. I'm Stan Lawrence. I'm the station manager. Here's that list you wanted. Oh. Great, great, great. I'll make sure they get it. How long did she work here? Not long. Just a few weeks. I still can't believe it. I... I should have put more lights back here. Oh, no, no, no, no. You can't blame yourself. It was at midnight. The parking lot was empty. More lights wouldn't have made a difference. Thank you, Officer. That's very nice of you to say. Oh, I'm not an officer. I work with Mr. Monk. Is that Adrian Monk? I've heard of him. He's a genius. Right? And you're his partner. Partnerlbabysitterlassistant lbabysitter. What's your name? Natalie Teeger. Miss Teeger, I know this probably sounds callous, but have you ever done any acting? Me? No. Well, here's my problem. We've got another show tomorrow night and I know it's terrible timing, but we need someone to pick the numbers. You mean on TV? I think you're a natural. No, I don't think so. Here you go. I was just talking to his nephew on the phone. He couldn't even believe it was really me. I felt like Fats Domino. Mr. Monk, this is Mr. Lawrence. He's the station manager. Hi. He just asked me to be the new lotto girl. Oh, only for one night. We can hold a regular audition over the weekend. What do you think? I don't know. What do you think? Oh, I think it sounds like fun. I know, but here's the thing. Tomorrow is Wednesday. Oh. We've already made plans. What plans? Me making dinner while you vacuum the rug? Exactly. And here's the other thing. If I let you take a night off, I have to let everybody take a night off. Who's everybody? What are you talking about? It's just me! Mr. Monk, come on, it's one night! Well, then, I guess I'll just have to say no kay. No-kay. No-kay. Which is it? No or okay? No-kay. No-kay. He's trying to say okay. That's as close as he's ever going to get. No-kay. No-kay. I'm so excited. No-kay. She looks nervous. I don't care as long as she's lucky. Is it too much? You look great. Excuse me. New girl, new girl. You're off your mark. My mark? Yeah. The big "X" on the floor. Look where I'm pointing. Oh. 90 seconds! 90 seconds? Wait. No, no, no. I don't have a script. Excuse me. I never got a script. There is no script. This is the lottery. For the love of God, if there was a script, we'd all be rich. God. Amateurs. Captain. Lieutenant. How is the investigation going? Well, we're just getting started. Spoke to the staff, the camera crew, everybody said they left the building after the show. They usually do. Well, somebody was here. The girl didn't stab herself. You wanted to know if Marissa received any fan mail. Some of them are pretty dicey. You know, personal. I put them on top. I need quiet, everyone! New girl! New girl! You're on! In five, four, three, two. Good evening, people. Welcome to the Big Gold Rush Pick Six. I'm Natalie Teeger. Are you ready to play? Then let's play. The lottery. And the first number is... Turn it on. Turn it on! Oh, my God! And the first number is 25. My mother's birthday. The next number. 52. 52 cards in a deck. The next number is... Seven. The seven dwarfs. The seven dwarfs. 32. 32 teeth. And, 10. My boss' absolute favorite number. Aw, crap. Apparently, not everybody's favorite. And the final number is 17. My daughter's age! Hi, Julie! Once again, the Gold Rush numbers are 25, 52, 7, 32, 10, and 17. So, that's it for now. Keep playing lotto! You'll thank me later. "You'll thank me later"? That's my line. I say that. Hurts, doesn't it? You know, I might as well flush 20 bucks down the toilet once a week. It was terrible. Wasn't I terrible? Yeah. You were great. I don't know what happened. I just... I got so nervous. You were great. It's like a tax on the stupid. Come on, Randy. We're parked out front. Great job. Thank you, Mr. Monk. It was fun. Yeah. I'm glad you did it. What a fun thing to do only one time and never try it again or mention it again. Natalie? Where are you going? Mr. Lawrence, I told you I wasn't an actor. I'm so sorry. Sorry about what? That you did such a terrific job? That the phones are lighting up like crazy? They love you. And those little ad lib things you did? You were wonderful. Wasn't she wonderful? So, what do you say? About what? About doing it full time. It's just three nights a week. I promise it won't interfere with your day job. I mean, I don't know. You really thought I was good? I told you when I met you. You're a natural. Mr. Monk? Well, I... Why don't we think about it? Okay. I will. I just did. I want to do it. Oh, Mr. Monk, I'm so sorry. But I could really use the money and I think it could be fun. There you go. A star is born. No. Don't worry. It's not going to change a thing. My job with you always comes first. I promise. Come on. We've got a million things to do. Okay. We've got to talk to the publicity people and set up a photo shoot. Natalie. I hate that picture! I like the other one better, the one on the trolley cars. What do you think? I don't know. Oh, my God. It's so weird seeing myself on a bus like that. I mean, I can't believe it's really me up there. I can't believe this is really happening. I can't believe it, either. I hate to bring this up, but we have work to do. Remember your predecessor, Marissa Kessler? Murder victim? Multiple stab wounds? Does that ring a bell? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. All right. Randy and the Captain are probably already there. It should be just around the corner. It's number 24. 24. 24. 24. Are you done? Sorry. Let's do this. What's the guy's name again? What... Who was it? Her ex-boyfriend? No! No, the ex-boyfriend had an alibi. He checked out. Oh, God. That's right. You weren't at the meeting this morning. But I had to shop for a dress. I can't wear the same thing every show. I had to wear the same blouse three times last week. Three. Three. Three. Tres. Three. Hello. Sorry. Just remind me. All right. His name is Malcolm O'Dwyer. He's some kind of lottery fanatic. He wrote a bunch of fan letters to Marissa before she was killed. Hey! I'm a big fan! Thank you very much. Not you. The lotto girl. "You'll thank me later!" That's not actually my line! Mr. Monk said it first! I thought that was you. It's you, right? Yeah. I guess it is. Yeah. Natalie Teeger. Oh, my God. I hate to bother you. Would you mind? We really do have to... Oh, sure. We should head up. Mr. Monk, do you mind? The Captain probably... Mr. Monk? Bend. Bend a little. Bend, please. Bend. I never know what to say. I know what to say. Did I write those letters? Of course I wrote the letters. My name is on them. I'm not going to deny that. Did you bother reading them? Yes, sir, I have. Well, then, you know I didn't threaten anybody. I offered the producers and the lottery commissioners some constructive criticism. I don't know why they don't listen to me. I know more about this lottery system than any living American. I'm sure you do, Mr. O'Dwyer. It's not just a game. Not to me. I can see that. Where were you a week ago, Monday, sir? A week ago, Monday. That would be 4, 7, 23, 35, 44, 53. Uh, excuse me? I was here. Like always. Watching a drawing. Three prime numbers! I did not see that one coming. Do you own a pair of scissors, Mr. O'Dwyer? Of course I do. Who doesn't? May I see them, please? How about some metallic paint? Paint? Yeah, a shade called titanium black. Do you think I killed Marissa Kessler? Well, you do have her picture up all over the wall. I've got everybody's picture up on the wall. I mean, these are the past lotto girls. Jackpot winners. People who work there. Secretaries. Gaffers. They all know me. I'm a freelance journalist. I publish a newsletter. A lotto bulletin. Yeah, I've seen that. What's this? These are some numbers I'm thinking of playing. Oh, no, no. Malcolm, don't worry. Nobody's going to steal your numbers. Well, you'd be a fool not to. These six numbers aren't just chosen at random. They're my own algorithm based on probability, emerging number patterns and the theories of Sir Isaac Newton. Isaac Newton? Really? There's just six numbers. You only buy one ticket a week? That's all I need. How many do you buy? Well, it depends. 20. You're just shotgunning it, huh? Rookie move. Well, how much have you won? How much ever or how much this year? Let's say ever. Zero. It's not just about winning or losing. It's the lottery. It's all about winning. What else is there? The journey, Captain! It's how you get there. I'd rather lose my way than win a $20 million jackpot your way. Okay. I think we're through here. You think you're pretty clever, don't you, Mr. Lottery Expert? Well, I've got news for you. We've got your number. Hey. Mother of mercy. Yeah, we were just leaving. I don't blame you. Who is this guy? A very colorful dead end. Hey, where's Natalie? She's downstairs. Oh, she's signing autographs. You hate this, don't you? What? Natalie getting all the attention. No. I'm happy for her. Sure you are. It's good for her. She deserves it. Long overdue. It's driving you crazy. I can tell. You used to be the superstar. Now, you're Garfunkel. I'm not Garfunkel. You're Garfunkel and you can't stand it. I'm not Garfunkel. I'm not Garfunkel. Congratulations to all you winners. We'll see you Monday night for the biggest super jackpot in lotto history. $212 million. I'm Natalie Teeger reminding everybody to try your luck. You'll thank me later. Bye-bye. And we're out. Eddie, you did it again. Please don't cue the music until I'm waving goodbye. Sorry. It's not rocket science. Stan, there you are. Did you get my email? About? My new idea. About all the fan letters I've been getting. I thought I could read a few of them on the air. Well, I don't really think we have time. Oh, sure, we have time. I'll just pick the lotto numbers faster. Well, you see, Natalie, the show is about the numbers. That's why people are watching. It's not really about you. Really? Is that what you're hearing? Because that's not what I'm hearing. Why don't we discuss this later? I'll see you Monday. Okay. Jesus. Excuse me. Do these cables have to be right here? Yes, they do. Because they carry your voice from this microphone to that sound board. Well, can't you put them someplace else? I almost broke my neck. Almost doesn't count. Fine. I'll do it. Okay. What are doing? Are you mental? Put it down. Put it down. Let go. Put it down. I am taking care of it. I got it. Put it down. I got it. Billy, what the hell are you doing? Stan, I can't work with this guy. What, you can't work with me? Who do you think you are, lady? I've been here for eight years. And you're just another untalented pretty face. Billy, calm down. Untalented, huh? The ratings keep going up every night. How do you explain that? The ratings go up when the jackpot goes up. That has nothing to do with you, you moron. Billy! I've warned you before about your attitude. That's it. You're out of here. You're fired. Somebody call security! What? No, no, no, no. Fired? Wait, no. Don't fire him. Look. See? I'm moving it. I'm moving the cable. I'm moving... Get him out of here. Stan. Stan, don't do this, please. Not now. Okay? Come on. It's too late, Billy. I'm sorry. I'm apologizing. Mr. Logan has been terminated. I don't want him back in the building. You make sure you get his security pass and keys. Get him out of here! Stan. Listen to me. It was my fault, too. I tripped over the cable. I... Natalie, this is not about you. I've been warning this guy all summer. Come on, people! Let's get that stage reset. Make it look good. Big, big jackpot on Monday. Garfunkel? Yeah, I'm probably the biggest Garfunkel who ever lived. I mean, after all I've done for her. You know, I give her money almost every week. But doesn't she work for you? That's not the point, exactly. Adrian, Natalie is a human being. Now, all this attention can throw a person off balance. Especially if it comes suddenly and unexpectedly. You know, I once wrote a book on body language and it spent all of three minutes on the best-seller list. Now, I was very young and I'm sorry to say I became a bit of a diva. I didn't like myself very much. So, now, you're on her side. The question is, why aren't you on her side? Why aren't you happy for her? Natalie is your friend. Maybe you're afraid she doesn't need you anymore. Maybe you're afraid of losing her. Or maybe I just feel insulted. Insulted? What I do is hard. I am out there. I am sweating out every clue. I am putting killers behind bars. What does she do? What does she do? 91. Number 91. 91. Number 91. 91. Number... I mean, how hard is that? I mean, a talking monkey could do her job. It's embarrassing. Actually, that's 16. See, you're holding it upside-down. Oh, it's... It's confusing. There's usually a little line under the nine. It goes under the six. The line goes under the six. I'm pretty sure it's the nine. It's no big deal. Look, I've seen it my whole life. I've never seen it under the six. Why don't we ask Natalie, then? Well, she's the expert. Okay. Okay. But I see your point. About the monkey. All I'm trying to say is it's not the same Natalie. If you knew her, you wouldn't know her. Last night, after the show, she got somebody fired. Really? One of the crew. Sound guy. There were some wires on the floor. She was... You know, complaining. And, I mean, I met the guy when I was there. He was a nice kid. Now, what's he going to do? What's he going to do? And... Wait. Don't tell me. Sound engineer Billy Logan, right? Oh, my God. What are you doing here? Oh, my God. Come in, come in, come in, come in! Oh, I can't believe this. Here. You've been taking pictures of me. Yeah, I thought I saw you. I hope you don't mind. There was nothing on the website, so, I took a few candids. They're for the next issue. Cast and crew, after hours, behind the scenes. While I have you here, I have a couple of questions. It's not your lucky day. What a shame. Just a kid. At least he didn't hit anybody when he jumped. Are we sure he jumped? "Tired of losing." Not much of a note. Brevity, the soul of wit. But he was a writer. Look at all these letters. No. There's something weird about this. Monk, look around you. That note's probably the least weird thing in the whole apartment. This is the birthplace of weird. But why today? This guy was a lottery nut. Isn't tomorrow night the big jackpot? Yeah. Yeah, he probably knew he'd never win, which makes him a whole lot smarter than me. What have you got? A contact lens case. With only one lens. Fluid! It's fluid! I need a wipe. What? I don't have a wipe. Give... Give me a wipe. Just... I need a wipe. Where's Natalie? I'm your biggest fan. I never miss a show. Oh, thank you. That means a lot. Natalie, what's your favorite number? My gosh. There are so many. Mine's 19. That's a good one. Do you think it's going to come up on the show tomorrow? Excuse me. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Monk. I got a little distracted. Is the cadaver in your way? We could... We could move it across the street if you like. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. So, how did it go upstairs? Fine. Is that your boyfriend? Oh, no, this is my boss. This is Adrian Monk, who is a hugely famous detective. He solves... Natalie, who does your hair? Oh, God. Well, you take your time. Okay? I'll just be over here at the crime scene, if anybody's interested. Natalie? My mom's in the hospital, and it would mean so much to her if you would take a picture with me. Please? - Okay. Thanks. Murder! Or suicide. Or murder. It's a tough call. Yeah. This is a tough one. In many ways, this reminds me of the killer astronaut case I solved last year. You probably read about it. Hey, Monk? Look at this. Hello. It's the other lens. It looks like you were right. Nobody jumps after putting in one contact lens. Want me to put it in this evidence bag? Bag number 32. Hey. 32. 32. 3-2. 32. Mr. Monk, are you mocking me? In public? I don't make fun of your job. That's because I have a real job. I'm solving a homicide here. Well, I have a real job, too. I'm changing people's lives. I'm making them rich. Yeah. You are not making them rich. You're not giving them financial advice. You're just reading little numbers off little white ping-pong balls. And if it wasn't you, they'd just hire some other bim... Some other what? Bim what? Bimportant person. Mr. Monk, do you think I'm a bimbo? Look, I know what I do isn't the most bimportant job on the earth, but what do I do for you? Hand you wipes all day long? Pick up your laundry? You know, people admire me now. And I admit it. I am enjoying the attention. I guess I needed it. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. But I can't work like this. So, you're going to have to choose. All right. Then I guess I quit. Thank God. Well, call the station manager, and tell him to find somebody else. No, I quit you. I quit us. Monk, stop crying. I don't know where she is. It's going to be okay. No. No, I can't, Monk. I'm at the gym. No, you don't want to come down here. Believe me. There are naked people here. Look. I tell you what. I've got to work late tonight. Why don't you come by the office? Good. Okay. See you then. Hello, everybody. I'm Natalie Teeger. Who's ready to make lotto history? Our super jackpot is worth $212 million. Why did I make her choose? Of course she'd choose to leave. Everybody leaves. First, my father. Monk, don't do this now. - Then, Trudy. Trudy didn't leave you. Sharona. Now, Dr. Kroger... I can't blame Natalie for leaving. I'd leave me, too, if I had the chance. God, I am the king of Garfunkel. I am oozing Garfunkel. She'll be back, Monk. She just needs time to cool off. That's right. She probably feels worse than you do. She looks pretty happy to me. Oh, would you just turn it off? Please. It's just... It's too painful. No, no. Wait. Did she just say 15? I've got four numbers here. Our next number is 33. 3-3. So nice, they named it twice. Oh. - My God. God, I can't stand it anymore. All right... And our final number for $212 million is... 54. 54. 54. 54! Making tonight's final Gold Rush numbers... 25, 62 25, 62, 12... ...12 15, 33, and 54. ...15, 33 54. Oh, my dear Lord! All day, I had this feeling! Congratulations. Are you going to quit? What? You kidding? I quit 30 seconds ago when the 54 ball popped out of the drum. Come here! You big, beautiful, no-longer-hypothetical boat! Randy? Do you still have those student loans? Yeah, I've got eight more years. Not anymore! No way! No way! I love you! Yes! Oh, thank you! Oh, thank you! Wait, wait! Believe it. Wait, wait. - Two hundred what? - 212. Two hundred and twelve? $212 million! I gotta call my kids. I've got to find a good accountant. Hey! I can buy a good accountant. I can buy 20 good accountants! I hit the jackpot! Captain just won the lottery! Hey. Next time you call me Captain, it's because you're on my boat! Yes! Oh, my goodness! I'm a rich man. Everybody leaves. - Look at this. Natalie. Mr. Monk, I'm sorry. I didn't know where else to go. What happened? Are you okay? You haven't heard? What? What time is it? 5:00. One minute after. Turn on the news. What... What channel? Any channel. A major scandal involving the Gold Rush lottery. As we told you this morning, there were two winners in last night's jackpot giveaway. Eugene Maddox, a truck driver from Rockaway Township and Leland Stottlemeyer, a highly decorated officer with the San Francisco police. Now, according to the rules, these two men would split the $212 million grand prize. Mr. Maddox, what do you do for a living? Yesterday, I was unemployed. Today, I guess I'm retired. That makes two of us, brother. But in a stunning development this morning, the lottery commissioner suspended all payment to Captain Stottlemeyer after it was revealed that Stottlemeyer has known and worked with Natalie Teeger, the newly hired lotto ball girl. There is a news conference... He said we cheated. Why? Just because you know the Captain? I... I mean... Okay. It looks bad, but it's not impossible. No. It's not just that. They said they have proof. They checked the equipment. There was something wrong with the machine. It was rigged. Rigged? They said I'm going to jail. Mr. Monk, I'm sorry I said I quit. I'm sorry. Okay. Okay. You have to help me. Yeah. Good morning, Miss Teeger, Captain. You and your friend, Mr. Monk, wanted to see what evidence we had? Yeah. Well, here it is. Before we begin, is there anything you want to say to the lottery commissioner? Yep. I'm not a cheater. Neither is Natalie. That's all I have to say. Well, I'm afraid we can prove otherwise, Captain Stottlemeyer. After the drawing, we received a phone call. An anonymous tip. I asked Mr. Lawrence to check it out. I reviewed the tape from Monday night's show. I didn't see anything suspicious, so we examined the machine itself. We examined the balls. We measured them, we weighed them. We were bouncing them. And everything seemed perfectly normal. So, what's the problem? This is the problem. The same numbers? The same numbers. But that's not possible. That's what we thought. So we tried again. And again. And again. And the same six numbers kept popping up. Not always in the same order, but the very same numbers. How did that happen? They're very lucky numbers? Metallic paint. Very good, Mr. Monk. We took a closer look. The numbers on these six balls and only these six balls were painted with metal-based paint. All the others were acrylic based. There's a magnet in the microphone. Right again, Mr. Monk. An electromagnet. Battery operated. Strong enough to pull these six balls and only these balls up the chute. Well, we didn't put that there. Oh, Miss Teeger, please. Don't insult us. You started working here two weeks ago. You had access to the equipment. Suddenly, your friend wins what? $106 million. I suggest you both get good lawyers. What? This is nuts. Hey, Monk? Monk? Have you got anything? There were two winners. What happened to the other man? The truck driver? Eugene Maddox. We've already talked to his lawyers. He's agreed not to sue us in exchange for a rather generous settlement. I'm sure he did. Waiter! Yo! There's something wrong with my glass. It's empty. You know what? Hell. Just bring the whole bottle and charge it to the room. I'm afraid you can't afford it, Billy. You think you guys won the jackpot? We've got news for you, Billy. We've got your numbers. Number, number. We've got your number. Numbers? Will you girls excuse us for a minute? Thank you. So, you guys are old friends? No. No. We just met at the bar. Yeah. I recognized him from TV. I went over and said hello. What was your name again? Billy, don't bother. We've already checked. You guys have known each other for years. You've worked on five movies together. I knew I'd seen this logo somewhere before. At the press conference, it was on your friend's jacket. That's the clue that capped the case. That's not even a real phrase. It's all over, Billy. We know why you killed Marissa Kessler. The paint we found on her fingertips told the whole story. That night after the show, she must have caught you rigging the equipment. It looks like you painted yourself into a corner. Randy. You think I rigged the super jackpot? That's right. It's... It... Okay. If I rigged the lottery... lf... If... If I'm so smart, why would I let this hammerhead win half the money? Well, you didn't want to. You didn't plan on it. But you got fired. Well, because of her. Hey, there were cables on the floor. Somebody could have gotten killed. They were duct taped down. Nobody was tripping on it. Okay. Okay. I told you about her. Can we focus here? Your plan was already in motion. You'd put the gizmo in the microphone, but getting fired ruined everything. They escorted you out of the studio. They took your security pass and you couldn't get back in. You had a problem, Billy. A real dilemma. Is that right? Yeah. You knew the six numbers that were going to hit. But then what? You were locked out of the building. You couldn't just turn the magnet off. You knew the same numbers were going to keep coming up night after night. After four or five times, somebody would have noticed. Yep. They'd find the magnet, you'd be the first and only suspect, so you framed us. Do you have any idea what you did to this man? This man has nothing. His... His wife left him. His girlfriend is in jail. And he's been living in a ratty little condo. Thank you, Randy. He's been looking at a sad little picture of a boat on a wall for 11 years... Randy. ...and you gave him hope, and then, you ripped his heart out. Randy. For that, you're going to burn in hell. That and the homicide. Actually, two homicides. Don't forget the lottery fanatic who had a picture of them both together. I think we're done here. You two are under arrest. Stand up. Let me see your hands, hotshot. Thank you. Glad you like numbers, Billy. You're going to be wearing some numbers on your shirt. Is that right? They won't be lottery numbers. I get it. Because you're going to prison. Yeah, I get it. You have the right to remain silent. I will if you will. You miss it, don't you? More than you know. No, I have the best job in the world right here. I'm proud to be your Garfunkel, Mr. Monk. You know, we could both be Garfunkels. A couple of Garfunkels. Yeah, maybe. There's no law against it. Yeah. Do you know who Garfunkel is? Sure. He's a cartoon cat. He hates Mondays. No, that's Garfield. This is Garfunkel. Oh! Garfunkel. Right. It's the thing my grandmother had on her neck. No, he's a singer. Simon and Garfunkel. Oh, right! The chipmunks. No, not the chipmunks. Bridge Over Troubled Water? Mrs. Robinson? What are you talking about? Their songs. Feelin' Groovy? Oh. So, they're hippies. Yeah, I guess so. Cartoon hippies. No, not cartoon hippies. Mr. Monk, come on. Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 And the final number is... 44. Making tonight's gold rush numbers 35, 4, 7, 53, 23, and 44. This is your gold rush girl Marissa Kessler wishing everyone a lucky Lotto day. Somebody help me! Help! Help me! No! No! No, no, please, don't! No. - = Monk 703 =- Sub VO : ¤Aka¤ ¤YaYa¤ [Sub-Way.fr] There's something wrong here. This is wrong. This is very wrong. This is very, very... Wrong? This was no random mugging. This was all about her. He was - after her. - Took her Purse and some Jewelry. He wanted us to think Robbery. She was stabbed six times. That's right. Two in the neck, four in the back. Or was stabbed three times. Look at the pattern. Two, two, and two. Three times... With a pair of scissors. Yes, that's possible. Who brings scissors to a mugging? Scissors say what? - Spur of the moment, not planned. - Plus... The mud on her shoes. There's a mud puddle near the exit. But there's a light right there. If she was walking, she would've seen that. So she was running when she left the building. Whatever happened started inside. There was some kind of fight. He grabbed some scissors and chased her out here. Find me the station manager. I want a list of every employee that was here last night. Make that every employee, period. Yes, sir. Any idea on motive? I guess you can say that there were 12 million people with a motive, myself included. This was the Lotto girl. She broke my heart three times a week. What is that? What's what? On her fingertips. Is that paint? Yeah, looks like it. Hey, Gabby! - Take a sample from her left fingers, - Left hand. Excuse me, Mr. Monk? I have a nephew. He's ten years old. He's your biggest fan. He clips articles. He thinks you're cooler than Spider-man. Really? Kids! If I could get your autograph, he'd think i'm some kind of hero. Sorry, Mr. Monk is working. Maybe when he's finished. - I'm sorry. - Anything else? Clues, clues, scanning, scanning. No, that's it, all done. You said something about an autograph? That would be great. Thank you so much. I got. Would you mind? Would you mind? Perpendicular. Put your head down. Your hair's in the way. Head down, head down. Are you okay? - She's fine. - She looks mad. No, that's just her look. What's that? - "It looks like her number came up." - It's a zinger. She's a lotto girl. Her number came up. Get it? You remember last year sergeant Beecham shoved that junkie into a lamp post, and he said, "i'll keep you posted." - I heard about that. - Everybody heard about it. I mean, people were repeating it. It was famous. This is even better. - This is a classic. - If you say so. Yeah, I just need to find the right moment. Captain, if you're ready to release the body, I can take her downtown. I still don't get it. Who'd want to kill the Lotto girl? I guess her number came up. - Hey, what are you doing? - Hey, what are you doing? - That was my line, man. - What are you talking about? I just said the exact same thing two seconds... Ask the captain. - This is a crime scene, for god sakes. - No, you heard me. You know what? He must've heard me. It's okay, look. It's written in my notebook right here. See that? "It looks like her number came up." Let's see your notebook. I didn't write it down. I just thought of it. Please, come on! Can you believe this guy? You know what? I'm gonna have your badge, officer Kil. Come on, Shecky, let's walk it off. Excuse me. I'm Stan Lawrence. I'm the station manager. - Here's that list you wanted. - Great, great. I'll make sure they get it. How long did she work here? Not long. Just a few weeks. I still can't believe it. I should've put more lights back here. No, you can't blame yourself. It was after midnight. The parking lot was empty. More lights wouldn't have made a difference. Thank you, officer. That's very nice of you to say. I'm not an officer. I work with Mr. Monk. Is that Adrian Monk? I've heard of him. He's a genius, right? And you're his partner. Partner/ babysitter/assistant/ babysitter. - What's your name? - Natalie Teeger. Ms. Teeger, I know this probably sounds callous, but have you ever done any acting? Me? - No! - Well, here's my problem. We've got another show tomorrow night, and I know it's terrible timing, but we need someone to pick the numbers. You mean on Tv? I think you're a natural. - No, I don't think so. - Here you go. I was just talking to his nephew on the phone. He couldn't even believe it was really me. Felt like felt like fats Domino. Mr. Monk, this is Mr. Lawrence. He's the station manager. He just asked me to be the new Lotto girl. Only for one night. We can hold a regular audition over the weekend. What do you think? I don't know. What do you think? - I think it sounds like fun. - I know, but here's the thing. Tomorrow is... wednesday. - We already made plans. - What plans? Me making dinner while you vacuum the rug? Exactly. And here's the other thing. If I let you take a night off, I have to let everybody take a night off. Who's everybody? What are you talking about? It's just me. Mr. Monk, come on. It's one night. Well, then I'll guess i'll just have to say no... Kay. No kay. No kay. Which is it? "No" or "okay?" Nokay. Noookay. He's trying to say okay. That's as close as he's ever gonna get. No kay. - Nokay. - I'll do it. Nokay. - She looks nervous. - I don't care, as long as she's lucky. - Is it too much? - You look great. Excuse me, new girl. New girl, you're off your mark. - My mark? - Yeah, the big "X" on the floor. - Look where i'm pointing. - 90 seconds! 90 seconds? Wait, no! I don't have a script. Excuse me, I never got a script. There is no script. This is the lottery. For the love of god, f there was script, we'd all be rich. Amateurs. Captain, Lieutenant. How's the investigation going? Well, we're just getting started. Spoke to the staff, the camera crew. Everybody said they left the building after the show. They usually do. Well, somebody was here. The girl didn't stab herself. You wanted to know if Marissa received any fan mail. Some of them are pretty dicey. You know, personal. I put them on top. I need quiet, everyone! New girl. New girl, you're on in five, four, three, two, and you're on. Good evening... people. Welcome to the big gold rush pick 6. I'm Natalie Teeger. Are you ready to play? Then let's play... the lottery. And the first number is... Turn it on! - Turn it on! - Oh, my god! And the first number is... 25. My mother's birthday. The next number... 52! 52... cards in a deck. The next number is... 7. The seven dwarves. Seven dwarves. 32. 32 teeth. And... 10, my boss'absolute favorite number. Crap. Apparently not everybody's favorite. And the final number is 17. My daughter's age. Hi, Julie! Once again, the gold rush numbers are 25, 52, 7, 32, 10, and 17, so that's it for now. Keep playing Lotto. You'll thank me later. You'll thank me later. That's my line. I say that. Hurts, doesn't it? You know, I might as well flush 20 bucks down the toilet once a week. God! I was terrible. Wasn't I terrible? - Yes. - You were great. God, I don't know what happened. I just got so nervous. - You were great. - It's like a tax on the stupid. Come on, Randy. We're parked out front. Good job. Well, thank you, mr. Monk. - It was fun. - Yeah. I'm glad you did it. What a fun thing to do only one time and never try it again or mention it again. Natalie, where you going? Mr. Lawrence, I told you I wasn't an actor. I'm so sorry. Sorry about what? That you did such a terrific job? The phones are lighting up like crazy. They love you. And those little ad lib things you did. You were wonderful. Wasn't she wonderful? So... what do you say? - About what? - About doing it full-time. It's just three nights a week. I promise it won't interfere with your day job. I mean, I don't know. You really thought I was good? I told you when I met you you're a natural. Mr. Monk? Well, why... - Why don't we think about it? - Okay, I will. I just did. I want to do it! I'm so sorry, but I could really use the money, - and I think it could be fun. - There you go. A star is born! D-d-don't worry. It's not gonna change a thing. My job with you always comes first, I promise. Come on, we've got a million things to do. We gotta talk to the publicity people and set up a photo shoot. I hope your afternoon is free... Natalie. I hate that picture! I like the other one better. The one on the trolley cars. What do you think? I don't know. My god, it's so weird seeing myself on a bus like that. I mean, I can't believe it's really me up there. I can't believe this is really happening. I can't believe it either. I hate to bring this up, but we have work to do. Remember, your predecessor, Marissa Kessler. Murder victim. Multiple stab wounds. Does that ring a bell? Sorry, sorry. All right, Randy and the Captain are probably already there. Should be just around the corner. It's number 24. 24. 24! - 24. - Are you done? Sorry, let's do this. What's the guy name? Her who was it? - Her ex-boyfriend? - No! No, the ex-boyfriend had an alibi and he checked... God. That's right, you weren't at the meeting this morning. But I had to shop for a dress. I can't wear the same thing every show. I had to wear the same blouse three times last week. Three! Three. Three, tres, three. - Hello. - Sorry. Just remind me. All right, his name is Malcolm O'dwyer. He's some kind of lottery fanatic. Wrote a bunch of fan letters to Marissa before she was killed. Hey! I'm a big fan! - Thank you very much. - Not you. The Lotto girl. You'll thank me later! That's not actually my line. Mr. Monk said it first! I thought that was you. It's you, right? Yeah, yes, it is. - Yeah. - Natalie Teeger. Oh, my god. I hate to bother you. Would you mind? - Really do have to. - Sure. - We should... we should head up. - Mr. Monk, do you mind? - Captain's probably. - Mr. Monk. Bend. Bend a little. Bend, please. Bend. I never know what to say. I know what to say. I write those letters? Of course I wrote the letters. My name's on them. I'm not gonna Deny that. - Did you bother reading them? - Yes, sir, I have. Then you know I didn't threaten anybody. I offered the producers and the lottery commissioner some constructive criticism. I know why they don't listen to me. I know more about this lottery system than any living American. - I'm sure you do, Mr. O'dwyer. - It's not just a game. Not to me. - I can see that. - Where were you a week ago monday, sir? A week ago monday. That would be 4, 7, 23, 35, 44, 53. - Excuse me? - I was here. Like always... watching a drawing. Three prime numbers! I did not see that one coming. - Do own a pair of scissors Mr. O'dwyer? - Of course I do. Who doesn't? May I see them, please. - How about some metallic paint? - Paint? Yeah, a shade called titanium black. Do you think I killed Melissa Kessler? You do have her picture up all over the wall? I've got everybody's picture up on the wall. I mean, these are the past lottery girls. The jackpot winners. People who work there. Secretaries, gaffers. They all know me. I'm a freelance journalist. I, publish a newsletter. Lotto bulletin. Yeah, I've seen that. What's this? These are some numbers i'm thinking of playing. No, Malcolm, don't worry. Nobody's gonna steal your numbers. You'd be a fool not to. These six numbers aren't just chosen at random. They're my own algorithm based on probability, emerging number patterns the theories of sir Isaac Newton. Isaac Newton. Really? There's just six numbers. You only buy one ticket a week? That's all I need. How many do you buy? Well, it depends. 20. You're just shotgunning it? Rookie move. Well, how much have you won? How much ever or how much this year? Let's say ever. Zero. - It's not just about winning or losing. - It's the lottery! It's all about winning. What else is there? The journey, Captain! It's how you get there. I'd rather lose my way then win a $20 million jackpot your way. Okay. I think we're through here. You think you're pretty clever, don't you, Mr. Lottery expert? I've got news for you. We've got your number. - Mother of Mercy. - Yeah, we were just leaving. I don't blame you. Who is this guy? A very colorful dead end. Where's Natalie? She's downstairs. She's signing autographs. You hate this, don't you? - What? - Natalie getting all the attention. - No, I'm happy for her. - Sure you are. It's good for her. She deserves it. - It's long overdue. - It's driving you crazy. I can tell. You used to be the superstar. Now you're Garfunkel. I'm not... Garfunkel. You're Garfunkel, and you can't stand it. I'm not Garfunkel. I'm not Garfunkel. Congratulations to all your winners. We'll see you monday night for the biggest super jackpot in Lotto history. $212 million. I'm Natalie Teeger reminding everybody to try your luck. You'll thank me later. And we're out. Eddie, you did it again. Please don't cue the music until I'm waving good-bye. - Sorry. - It's not rocket science. - There you are. Did you get my email? - About? My new idea. About all the fan letters I've been getting. I thought - I could read a few of them on the air. - I don't really think we have time. Sure we have time. I'll just pick the Lotto numbers faster. You see, Natalie, the show's about the numbers. That's why people are watching. It's not really about you really. Really? Is that what you're hearing? Because that's not what I'm hearing. Why don't we discuss this later? I'll see you monday. Jeez! Excuse me. Do these cables have to be right here? Yes, they do. Because they Carry your voice from this microphone to that soundboard. Can't you put them someplace else? I almost broke my neck. Almost doesn't count. Fine, I'll do it. Okay, what are you doing? Are you mental? Put it down, put it down. - Let it go. Put it down. - I'm taking care of it. I got it. Put it down! - What the hell are you doing? - I can't work with this guy. You can't work with me? Who do you think you are, lady? I've been here for eight years, and you're just another untalented pretty face. - Billy, calm down. - Untalented? The ratings keep going up every night. How do you explain that? The ratings go up when the jackpot goes up! It has nothing to do with you, you moron! Billy, I've warned you before about your attitude. That's it. You're out of here. You're fired. Somebody call security! What? No, no, fired? Wait, no, don't fire him. Look, see, I'm moving it. I'm moving the cable. Get him out of here. - Stan, don't do this. Please, not now? - Come on, I'm sorry. - It's too late, Billy. - I'm apologizing! Has been terminated. I don't want him back in the building. You make sure you get his security pass and keys. Get him out of here! Stan, listen to me. It was my fault too. I tripped over the cable, I. This is not about you. I've been warning this guy all summer. Come on, people. Let's get that stage reset and make it look good. Big, big jackpot on monday. - Garfunkel? - Yeah, I'm probably the biggest garfunkel who ever lived. I mean, after all I've done for her. You know, I give her money almost every week. But doesn't she work for you? That's not the... point exactly. Natalie's a human being. Now all this attention can throw a person off-balance, especially if it comes suddenly and unexpectedly. I once wrote a book on body language, and it... it spent all of three minutes on the best seller list. Now I was very young, and I'm sorry to say I became a bit of a diva. - I didn't like myself very much. - So now you're on her side. The question is why aren't you on her side? Why aren't you happy for her? Natalie's your friend. Maybe you're afraid... She doesn't need you anymore. Maybe you're afraid of losing her. - Maybe I just feel insulted. - Insulted? What I do is hard. I am out there. I am sweating out every clue. I'm putting killers behind bars. What does she do? What does she do? ! 91. Number 91! 91. Number 91. 91, number 9. I mean, how hard is that? A talking monkey could do her job. - It's embarrassing. - Actually, that's 16. You're holding it upside down. It's confusing. There's usually a little line under the nine. It goes under the six. The line goes under the six. - I'm pretty sure it's the nine. - It's no big deal. - I've seen it my whole life. - I've never seen it under the six. Why don't we ask Natalie then? She's the expert. Okay, okay. But I see your point. About the monkey. Look, all I'm trying to say is it's not the same Natalie. If you knew her, you wouldn't know her. Last night after the show, she got somebody fired. - Really? - One of the crew, the sound guy. There were some wires on the floor. She was like... complaining and I mean, I met the guy when I was. He was a nice kid. Now what's he gonna do? What's he gonna do? Wait. Don't tell me. Sound engineer billy logan, right? My what are you doing here? My god, come in, come in! I can't believe this. You've been taking pictures of me. Yeah, I thought I saw you. I hope you don't mind. There was nothing on the web site, so I took a few candids. They're for the next issue. Cast and crew after-hours, behind the scenes. While I have you here, I have, well, a couple of questions. It's not your lucky day. What a shame. Just a kid. At least he didn't hit anybody when he jumped. Are we sure he jumped? "Tired of losing." Not much of a note. Brevity, the soul of wit. But he was a writer. Look at all these letters. No, there's something weird about this. Monk, look around you. That note's probably the least weird thing in the whole apartment. This is the birthplace of weird. But why today? This guy was a lottery nut. Isn't tomorrow night the big jackpot? Yeah. Yeah, he probably knew he'd never win, which makes him a whole lot smarter than me. What do you got? Contact lens case. With only one lens. Fluid! It's fluid! I need a wipe. I don't have a wipe. G-give me a wipe. Just I need a wipe. Where's Natalie? I'm your biggest fan. I never Miss a show. Thank you. That means a lot. Natalie, what's your favorite number? My gosh, there's so many. - Mine's 19. - That's a good one. Do you think it's gonna come up on the show tomorrow? I'm sorry, Mr. Monk. You leave that to me. They found his body at the scene of a car crash just outside St. Albans carrying NIA documents. He was discharged from the NIA six months ago for psychiatric reasons. So where'd he get the NIA papers? Pronto. You all right? Yes. Is Julia with you? Yes. Thank god. Okay, where are you? At home. Where the hell are you? Better you don't know. The police came here looking for you. They found Paolo's body at your studio. Kyra, you know I thought I could leave the past behind. I know you did. But why did you run? It's complicated. Look I need your help. I have a Swiss phone number. I need you to go on the computer, use reverse directory, see if you can get a, uh, name and an address. Kyra, it'll take you ten seconds. Give me the number. Got it. Christian Lenk, Twenty-one Zermatt Strasse, Zurich, Zero-Five-W. Great, okay, now you and Julia need to go away for a couple days. Go to the inn where she likes to feed the ducks, you know where I mean. You are creeping me out. Promise you'll do it. Not until you tell me what's going on. Okay look, just get out of your apartment. Turn off your cell phone. I'll call you at the inn as soon as I can. Go now. Okay. Tell Julia I love her. Mama? Right. Who's Julia? She's my daughter. You were married. Kyra's a friend of mine. We both wanted a child. I want you to tell me the truth. About what? You, me, what happened in Berlin. I told you, we worked together. Don't. The memories are fading, I can feel them disappearing. I wanna know the truth while it still matters. Please. You were studying in Washington. I was assigned to recruit you. You seduced me. It was part of the job. Why me? We knew you could help flip Kozlenko. Who am I? What is my name? Kozlenko. You're Marta Kozlenko. He was my father? I lured my father to his death? It wasn't your fault. He wanted it to look like a kidnapping, not a defection. Somehow the KGB got onto us. We'll go to Zurich, first thing in the morning. I'm sorry. You're sorry? For what? For all of this. Maybe if I hadn't called you or taken you out of your life, maybe... It would've happened anyway. Whoever's after us needs my numbers too and you weren't just part of the job. I've always cared about you, I always will. Marta. Alright we have to get outta here. What's wrong? Police are downstairs. We made the paper. (speaking German) (speaking German) You speak English? We need you to drive us to Zurich. We're not gonna hurt you. But my deliveries. I have customers. Today we're you're only customers. Don't even think about it. Thank you, Jann. I hope we didn't cause you too much trouble. Appreciate it if you can, uh, wait a couple hours before calling' the police. And you were right. The strudel was excellent. Damn, we should have grabbed a couple of those crescents to go. Oh well. Jacob, what happened to me after my father died? Honestly, I don't know. You hated me. You left Berlin and I left the business. And we never spoke again? Oh, I'd phone, you wouldn't take my calls. I have no idea where you went or what you did. Started a new life, thought I could leave the past behind. So much for that, huh? We don't just ring the doorbell, right? Look, why don't you, uh, stay here. I'm gonna go look around. (speaking German) Marta. Don't move. Hi. Hi. How did you? Dog seems to know you. Maybe. Do I live here? It doesn't look familiar. Huh, no labels. Well, someone's got expensive taste. Men's clothing, no women's. I must not live here. Gotta be something to identify whoever does. You definitely know whoever lives here. Okay, what's going on Marta? Know what I think? I think you set me up. I think this amnesia is bullshit. No, no. Oh, fuck me. What? You're gonna tell me, you don't know who this is? Who is it? It's Jared, damn you. Paolo and Yale are dead, Marta. Why? I don't know. Alright, I don't remember anything, I swear. Is Jared a victim too or is he in on this? Yeah, um, I'm getting out of here. What're you gonna do? It's Kyra. I told you to turn off your cell phone. What have you gotten us into? Why are you calling here? Because I told her to. You know she was packing to leave when we got here. Oh, I haven't spoken to you since Berlin, partner. What do you want, Jared? Oh, come on. You're a smart guy. You've spoken to Marta, you found my place. You must have figured it out by now. Numbers to the Swiss bank account. There ya go. This can't be agency sanctioned. Yeah well, let's call it my retirement plan. You killed Yale. And Paolo. You dragged them into this. Now give me the fucking numbers. You're outta luck asshole. I forgot 'em years ago. Really? Oh you did? I don't think so. - Papa, please help us. - Please... Mama? You know it's gonna take me a little while to get to Zurich so make yourselves at home. There's a bottle of Chateau Le Fit in the cellar. You kids knock yourselves out. I'll see you at the bank at four. You remember where that is. 'Kay, we're not staying here. And I am not letting you out of my sight. Get her ready to go. Hurray. No, no. Please. - Please. - Listen. Listen to me. Listen. You say nothing about this, and your daughter will be home tonight. Talk to anyone and she's dead. You understand what I'm saying. Look, I - I don't blame you for not trusting me. Look, if it makes you feel any better, the Marta I knew wouldn't be involved in anything like this. People don't change that much. Jacob, where are we going now? I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get her back. If I'm gonna save her, I'll need your help. Can I trust you? C'mon. That's it. Shit, c'mon. Jared. How'd you recognize me? From pictures. Of us together. Where's Jacob? Take me to Julia, and when I know she's okay, I'll call him. What would you say if I told you, uh she was still in Italy? Then you don't get your money. Good old Jacob, huh? I shoulda known he'd keep the game interesting. Where is he? Is he looking at us now? Is the girl in Italy? No, she's here in Zurich. I have a taxi waiting. How long was I with you? Not long. You were setting me up. To get the money. (speaking German) How did we get together? Does it really matter? Yes. I tracked you down. I bumped into you in front of your apartment in Paris. Pretended it was just, uh, by chance. We had a really good time in St. Tropez. You stole my life. Look, if it's any consolation, it really wasn't much of a life. You didn't seem very happy. Oh. Blame yourself. I mean, I tried to cut you in, but you wouldn't give me your pass code, so I mean, I had to use the drug. How did I get away from you? I guess I'm getting old. Sloppy. I forgot how physical you could be. You ran off to tell Jacob. (speaking German) Please. Oh yeah, I'd be afraid too. Why are you helping him? Call it instinct. You couldn't take that away from me. Uh, do you wanna see the girl or not? This way. Stay. What happened? It's under control, thank you. Julia, I'm Marta. I'm a friend of your father's. Where is he? He's waiting for you. Where? Yes, okay. Thank you. You've seen the girl, now let's make this thing happen. Jacob wants me to stay with her. He doesn't care about the money, he wants his daughter. And he wants to remember who she is. Where's the injection gun? Oh yes, this is vintage Jacob. Always loves a chess game. And always three moves ahead. I have it. It stays here. It's the only way he'll give you his numbers. You'll meet him at Fraumunster Church. And what stops me from killing you right now? Because you're a smart man. You're gonna meet Jacob, he'll call, you'll have us released and after that, you'll have the numbers and Jacob. You may have lost your memory Marta, but, uh, you still have balls. If you haven't heard from me in an hour, kill them both. She really needs to go to the bathroom. Do I look like I fucking care? Just tell me where it is. Fuck. The end of the corridor. (speaking German) (speaking German) Oh, shit. I'll walk. Here. (speaking German) Hey. Get the fuck off. You alright? Yeah. Okay. Where is she? This way. Hey baby. Hi. Hey. Hey. You okay? Yeah? You're okay. Okay. Everything's gonna be alright. Oh god, what would I do without you? C'mon, daddy's got you. Let's get outta Zurich. Not yet. We got one more thing to do. Damn it. Jacob? Jared. What's goin' on, buddy? Where are you? Turn around. This isn't working out the way you wanted, is it? Let's go in the church. You need to repent. Keep going. You probably don't go to church much, do you? What the fuck is this all about? How about Paolo? Huh? How 'bout Yale? Collateral damage. Acceptable losses when you consider that with interest there's over twenty million in Kozlenko's account right now. Aw, c'mon partner, just think what we could do with that money. You been planning this for a long time, huh? Nah. You know, you got out when you should. I stayed too long. I got bounced around, passed over. You know, the last time I really enjoyed the game was Berlin. Right before the wall came down. So, you started thinking about the money. Yeah, checked some records. It was forgotten about. I mean, c'mon, it's all sitting there, right there. I think I'm gonna follow your example, bro, and not share. You are gonna tell me your code numbers and Marta's code numbers. Oh. Oh I know you way too well, partner. Yeah? Yeah. You're not gonna shoot me. You couldn't pull the trigger. You're right. The only thing I'm gonna regret is that you won't remember what an asshole you've become. I wonder what two shots would do? So, how did it go? Couldn't have been smoother. They didn't ask any questions? Transferred all the funds to a new account in the Cayman Islands. Oh baby. He was found two weeks ago. Patrolman saw him wandering on Bahnhofstrasse. Dazed, confused. Ran his prints and uh, found that he worked for your group, NATO Intelligence. Thought you could help us. He was stationed in Zurich. Shuffling papers. Hm. What'd the doctor's say? No. He's catatonic. Appears to be awake but he's uh, not responsive. There's been no change in the two weeks. I think he's hopeless. So whatever he once knew will die with him. Nothing? No sir, we had a tracer put on Keene's passport. The woman as well. But they vanished. And Jared Clayton. They are moving him into a nursing home, outside of Staad. On NIA pension of course. Of course. All right, we tie up the usual loose ends. Release statements about terrorist cells to cover up. And tomorrow morning, we'll be back to business as usual. Good night, agent Henry. Sir, there's just one more thing. It's very late. It's about the Kozlenko affair. What about it? I did some research, and as you know the NIA keeps excellent records. Kozlenko's require a Class A security clearance. And in 1988 there were only two people, other than the operatives themselves with that kind of clearance on that specific project. One of them Yale, is dead. Oh god, what the hell is this? You are the one that set up agent Kozlenko. You told the Stazi about the defection. And you helped set the trap that killed him. You have no proof. Actually sir, I do, the money. The ten million dollars marked for Kozlenko. Once a year the bank needs a signature to renew the account. I checked it out. It was your signature, sir. The only thing I can't figure out is whether Jared Clayton was working for you. Or you were working for him? I knew you were ambitious, Henry. I just didn't know how ambitious. Security is on its way up to you, sir. You might want to call your lawyer. I'm not going to be calling anybody. Sir, you were saying? Sounds good. I'll release the statement in the morning. You should get some sleep, agent Davis. You sound tired. It's been a long week. Yeah, yeah, I - I can hear him. Uh, yapping in the background. Is he house broken yet? Mm, sorta. Mama's not really happy. When are you coming back? Yeah, I'm - I'm not sure yet, angel. As soon as I can. Listen, I gotta go. I will uh, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye, I love you papa. I love you too, Julia. You two, uh, takin' off for the airport? Yeah. You sure you're doin' the right thing? I mean, you know, you just met the guy. Could be he's only uh, after your money. Well, that's okay. I'm only after his body. So, how much longer are you planning on staying? I gotta think through some things. Gonna take a while longer. Don't forget about me. Jacob Keane? I'm Agent Henry. I'm with the agency you used to work for. What agency? We're very impressed with what you did. I don't know what you're talking about. The director would like to know if you'd entertain the notion of taking on a certain freelance assignment. And why would I wanna do that? 'Cause you're a rich man now. I already was a rich man, Agent Henry. You gave the money to Marta. After everything, don't you think it's the least she deserves? You on duty right now? Not officially. You like rum? END Subtitles by LeapinLar Swannie. Come over here. Come to me. Nice, Swan. Come on. Come to me, Mr. Swan. You'll frighten it! Help! Help! Go get my parents. Go! I've killed him. I've killed him. I kill... ohh. Ohh. Nathan! Oh Jesus. - Where's Claire? - Call 911! - I don't know what happened! - Where is she? - He came out of nowhere! - Nathan... Do you think he can hear me? Where's Claire? Where is she? I'll look for her later! I was dead. I mean, I was really dead. Really. Tell me about it. What's it like to be dead? I'd got loose. It were as if I was getting out of my body. My body was staying here, and I... I was flying. You were floating? Yes. I heard that dog, and a woman screaming. They were around me, panicking and... then I heard that noise. It was like a whistle. A very, very loud whistle. I saw... a light. A light? Yes. It was alive. It was alive as if it were waiting for me. I was in the light. I felt good. - Didn't you want to come back? - No. But you did come back. Yes. Why did you come back? I just did. Something made you come back. Is there something you're holding back? Yes. Hey, would you like to hear about Jesus Christ? Here you go. Would you like to hear Excuse me, would you like to hear about Jesus Christ today? Like to hear about Jesus Christ? - Okay. - Thank you very much, sir. Would you like to hear about Jesus Christ? Have a great day. Would you like to hear about Jesus Christ today? But what made him come back? Won't you answer? Nathan? ... right turn. It doesn't recover. We're dropping the... Speed, 220 knots. Wings lowered. Flap up. Flap up! Flap up! Power! Power! Oh, shit! No! Of the 45 passengers on board, nine belonged to the same family. All from Haiti. So? So they're afraid of getting fucked over by the Warsaw Convention. I explained to them that doesn't exist here, but they're scared, even still. They set up a committee. I met their spokesman. They gave me this. What does the NTSB say about this? The NTSB isn't getting involved. Neither is the FAA. They've all washed their hands of it. The airline is registered in the Virgin Islands, the tour operator in the Caymans. The crew is from Russia. They still don't know if the plane crashed in Haiti or the Dominican Republic. Every day it's a different story. But the plane was due to land here in the US? Seems like everyone forgot that. The FAA isn't going to go poking its nose in. Too much work, too much hassle, too much everything. Nathan? I don't like the smell of it. If the FAA won't get involved, that means a lawsuit like this could drag on for years. That means hundreds of thousands of dollars. And it means we can forget about the Hague Protocol. I don't like it. Excuse me, since when are we afraid of cases that drag on for years? These people are going to get fucked over on the pretext that no convention... It was the same shit in Unterlinguen. In Kinshasa too. A judge will show up with his calculator and say what? "All right, let's imagine some two-year-old kid "who has lost his mother. "We'll say she'd have devoted how much of her time to him, per day?" - Michael? - Three hours, tops. That's a good mother. Up until the age of 18, which gives us three hours a day, times 365 days, times $8 an hour, plus the usual interest... that totals a little less than $100,000 at best. - And the plane wasn't even full. - See? How far will that get you? You can't even take your mistress on a weekend trip. Nothing. All right, fine. But tomorrow morning, these people are going to be in my office. - What do you want me to tell them? - Send them to me. I'll explain everything. They'll understand, don't worry. Anything else? Your appointment is here. Who is this guy? Remind me. Joseph Kay. Heads up a department at St. Louis. - I'm not sure what he wants. - Heads up a department? Something like that. "Something like that." "I'm not sure what he wants." What's that supposed to mean? Why send him to me? - You were recommended. - By who? - Who upstairs? - Ross. I see. - Your daughter called. - Oh, yeah? She left you messages at home and... Yeah, I know. I forgot. She wanted to talk about the vacation. She wanted to know, was it, "Like the usual?" This was my daughter who called or my wife? Your daughter. Okay, I'll call her back. Yes? All that glucose... Yes? Worries me. I can examine you if you want. I'm a doctor. All right... what can I do for you, Dr. Kay? You work at St. Louis, right? I don't know if I'm the right... Nathan, I believe you have misunderstood me. I'm very serious. You mustn't take hypoglycemia lightly. In fact, you shouldn't take any symptom lightly... ever. You can't imagine the number of cells you burn up every day. Of course, you'll tell me you're also manufacturing... - I don't want to interrupt... - But it's not so. Neurons can't be replaced. Some die every day. Every day a few more. All that glucose you're pumping in is just cheap energy. Very bad for you, very bad for the neurons. Thank you for your concern about my health, but I'm fine. Now why don't you tell me what you want from me? That slight shaking in your hands, have you had that a long time? It's a morning thing, right? When you wake up? You work too much. Sure. Excuse me. Oui, mon ange. Yes, sweetheart, I know. Yeah, yeah. Daddy will call you back, but now I'm... wait, hang on. Would you excuse me a second? Yeah? Uh-huh. Honey, I can't talk to you now. Rachel, check out that guy for me... now. Of course you're coming for vacation. Sure you are. No, honey, I can't come get you. We'll do just like last time, I... We'll see. Okay, I'll call you back. Love you. Don't ever do this to me again. Ever. I've got a screwball in my office. He may be a screwball, but he wasn't lying. He's head of a department at St. Louis. Ross didn't tell you anything else? No, nothing. They say the swan sings only once, just before dying. Yes, I know. He senses he's going to die, so he sings. It's not because of the pain. On the contrary, he sings because he's glad. He's glad to die. - The number of legends about swans... - Dr. Kay. They also say swans guide and keep company with the dead, to help them cross the threshold. That's my favorite... a very old Celtic legend. - Yes, I know it. - You do? - Yes, my wife told me about it. - Your wife told you about it? Right. You mean your ex-wife? We all live in glass houses. So I see. Why don't you finally tell me what I can do for you? I believe I'm the one who can do something for you. But you'll see for yourself. Certain experiences can be very unsettling. I'll see what, for God's sake? What experiences? I'm merely pointing out the need to be prepared. Is that a threat? No, it's not a threat. It's a message. But I'm not quite sure you're ready to hear it. How come you know so much about me? Did you have me checked out? Did you... was it Ross told you all that stuff? "The need to be prepared." What's that supposed to mean? I don't know this Ross person. I've never met the guy. And I think you know what I want from you. I think you know very well. Hello? It's me. Claire, hello. Yeah, I'm here. Is Tracey there? Yeah, sure. You want to talk to her? She called me today. She wanted me to call back. I know, she told me. Um, Tracey's asleep. She's in bed. Already? Is she okay? What's wrong? She waited for you to call all day. She's drawing things I don't understand and waking up at night. No, she's not okay. Is there anything I can do? Let's talk about this another time, okay? I'll tell her you called. Okay. Nathan. Nathan! Nathan. Listen, I came to apologize for this morning. I was a little heavy-handed and I wanted to apologize. I have something to show you not far from here. Nathan, wait. Listen. I have something to show you, I just don't know if you'll be able to handle it, that's all. I'm fed up with your mysteries. I'm tired. Nathan, it'll take five minutes of your time, no more. And then I'm out of here. You'll never see me again. I give you my word. - You give me your word? - Yes. I give you my word. You know who I am, you know where I work, you're a lawyer. If I do anything wrong, anything at all which... It wouldn't take you five minutes to blow my career out of the water. Nathan, believe me, it's important. You have to see it. I swear. It's important. Come with me. Five minutes. 10 minutes... no more. And then... I'm gone. You brought me here just to tell me this? What the hell does it mean? Or is that all part of the message? You come out with these little riddles of yours and expect me to... You see that guy, the kid in the orange jacket? Do you see him? Yeah, I see him. So what? Name of Dennis. 10 years ago to this day, his father died here. He was waiting for a train as he did every evening. He had a good job, happy family. And one evening, he'd had enough. And when the express came by, he jumped. Was he a friend of yours? And these last few days, Dennis has come here every evening. - Every evening. - Do you ever answer a question? Look at him. - Why should I? - Look at him. Because in about two minutes, Dennis there will be dead. What the f... You're crazy. Completely crazy. You gotta take the Chambers Street Exit, right across the platform. Look! He's got a gun! He's got a gun! He's got a gun! Listen, don't do it! Please, put the gun down! Is this your first time? You seem kind of young. He's here to see Dr. Kay. - Okay. - He'll come get you in the day room. - This way? - Mm-hmm. I... I think what you're doing is wonderful. You came to see him? He'll be here. Just have to wait. Come here. Come here. What's the matter? Something wrong? Myocardial metastases. Cancer of the heart muscle. Super rare, right? They wrote an article about me in a magazine. It's in my room, if you want to see it. Apparently, I could croak from one day to the next... from one minute to the next. - Jeremy. - Nathan. What do you do, Nathan? I'm a lawyer. Do you know if he's going to be long? The first doc I saw, you know what he called it? "Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy." Wow. Can you believe that guy? You and me, we're gonna slap that that son-of-a-bitch with a lawsuit. What do you say? Legally, that's not exactly my bag. Jeremy, hello. - Up already? - Yeah. - Happy birthday. - Yeah, thanks. You've made a new friend. - Are you the new volunteer? - He's a lawyer. He and I are gonna throw a doctor's ass in the slammer. Oh, well... see you later. Bye. You smell that stink? Like something's rotting? Behind the stink of detergent... can't you smell that? It reeks of death around here. Why do you think she puts up with it? She had a kid who died. That's why. All of us in here are going out in body bags, and she knows that. She thinks that when we see her little darling up there we'll tell him how mommy's doing. And we'll take care of him. Make sure he eats his dinner and goes to the potty up in Heaven. Volunteer, my ass. What about you? You got a message to send, too? Who you got up there, huh? I'm going soon, so make the most of it. Some "dearly beloved?" - Or maybe... - Excuse me. Hey! Hey, come back. I didn't mean it like that. I don't know how to die. None of us know how to die. But maybe... somewhere deep inside of us a part of us does know how. Maybe it's not as terrible as it seems. Try and rest. You know, Nathan, the dying have taught me one thing... that you can look death in the face and go on living. Our mission here is to keep them company. Keep company with those about to die so that they can depart in peace. Great, but what's it got to do with me? Me, my. My little consciousness, my little comforts, my little life. What about others, Nathan, do you ever think about them? And Dennis? Have you thought about Dennis? If you knew he was going to blow his brains out, why didn't you do something? Why didn't you try to listen to him? Who kept Dennis company so he'd "depart in peace?" Anyway, how did you know he was going to die? This time I want an answer, none of your... - I saw it. - You saw it? - Yes. - How did you see it? Was it written on his face? - Yes. - Yes? Listen, I'm beat. I didn't sleep last night because of you, - and I've got to be at work... - Nathan, people who come here, they've already traveled a long road paved with suffering. But they have had time to prepare themselves. But often death comes... unexpectedly. It can't be predicted. Yes, I know, yes. For instance, say you cross the street at the wrong moment, or the body just gives out... just like that. Snap your fingers, you're dead. We see that every day. And those people never have time to untangle the knots. They never have time to prepare themselves. And so? And so... the role of the Messengers is to give those people too a chance to be reconciled. - "The Messengers?" - Yes. I don't understand. There are people out there who know in advance that someone is going to die. Let's say they... "got the message." And in those cases, their job is to help that person depart in peace... reconcile. - And you're one of these "Messengers?" - Yes, I am. - You know who's going to die? - Yes. - You see it? - Yes, I see it. And you help them depart in peace. Nathan, I realize it may be hard to believe... But Dennis didn't depart in peace. - No. - Why? We don't always succeed. Sometimes we get there too late. No one has power over the hour of death. No one. I don't believe you. Have it your way, Nathan. But these things can still exist whether you believe in them or not. I know when someone's going to die... I see it. And I make every effort to prepare them for what's coming. Well, I think I've heard enough for today. What exactly are you trying to tell me? Are you trying to tell me I'm going to die soon? Is that it? I told you everything. You know everything. Go fuck yourself. Hurry up. Sam. Sam, hurry up. Bring that over. Hurry up. Breathe, breathe, breathe. We need a neck brace and a splint. Get that here. Look straight into the light. Don't move. The smell of the ghosts. Follow the smell of the ghosts and you'll find the flower. What did you say, sweetheart? It's a cactus. It makes a flower once a year, at midnight. Only once. At 12:00 noon, the flower dies, and it smells like ghosts. The flower smells like ghosts? Yeah, but it's real nice. Mommy says ghosts smell good. The Night Blooming Cereus. Yes, I remember. Mommy told me about it too. An Indian legend. Honey, can I talk to Mommy? She says she'll call you back. Tracey? Hello? I had everything checked out, everything... brain, heart, lungs, blood. I got my urine tested, my saliva, my sperm... they tested everything and they found nothing. Nothing at all. There's the file. Take a look. A little hypoglycemia and nothing else. Nothing else at all. I'm very glad to hear that, Nathan. - I'm happy for you. - So as of this minute, you are out of my life. No phone calls, no visits, nothing. If I ever see you again here or any place at all, it'll mean the police... got it? May I show you something? - No. - It's a photograph. Anna Rachevsky. Very cute. Now leave. From a Russian family. That photograph was taken the day she arrived in New York. I don't give a shit. Not much money, father out of the picture. She wanted to go to college, but the closest she ever got was working in the cafeteria at NYU. Her boss treated her like an animal. The students didn't even notice. Except one. He was a foreigner too... a Frenchman. She welcomed the kindness he showed her. But later, she was fired. He lost touch with her. End of story. Anna Rachevsky, right. - Coming back? - Yes. Thou hast sent him gifts? No. You have offered him flowers? You've written him a poem? I ... Even zero, it remains a proof of love. If you had him said"I love you", maybe you would go to the church instead of Aymeric. You think? Yes! Move over. How it happens in all the stories? The girl will marry the wrong person. Here arises the true love and expresses. Damn, you're right. Looks Titanic. Yes. But Titanic He died at the end. Exactly. That's a great proof of love. And you, champ? What is proof of your great love? It is you, florist Melanie. Jessica is there? Where? There. * Michael? 6 letters. Jessica? I still have 9 letters. Jessica, go ahead. U, C, G, F T, E, A, S, K. 9 letters. The account is good. General laughter. ... The numbers and letters, it's different! So it "The numbers or letters." General laughter. - We will not get bored at your wedding tomorrow. Dawn will bring full of surprises. That's it! Make your malignancy. I burned everything. You have nothing. There 's no evidence. Good. I'm going to go. Want. Gift. You're bluffing! You got no proof. It's funny? She screams. Oh no. Hello, is Melanie. Melanie? Are you alright? I had to offer Johnny out. The dog moaned. Goodbye. She insists her footsteps. ... Oh, the little cat. The little cat ... Standing. We get married in 3 hours. Did you sleep well? No. Jessica and Blandine will not come. lmpossible. They are our witnesses. He no witnesses! Person will testify. You've said nothing? There "s nothing. You got nothing to do? Innocent help you, now? You can see it like that. Police arrested him that night. You told he was French. It's your fault. That you enough to be ugly. He needed you to be nasty. Shortness of breath. Is Drogba qu'lnnocent At Home? * I'll see. They arrested an innocent man? Laughter. * You can not tell you. How can I do myself? I find that? * Fend for you, miss. The phone rings. ... * You are very Melanie at Lupin. Speak after the beep. Bip. * Melanie, it was Jonathan. I know where you're not. ll have much time. Remember me. Kisses. A knock. ... You thought I would let you do that? You see? You wanted to screw up my marriage but yours takes off. That is good, the informers. With what I told the cops Mamadou tone must be on the plane. The airport! Bitch! It is where, his fund puts forth? Damn ... So that, it goes there. The engine. Oh no. Starts! Starts! * The passengers of flight AF 598 to Senegal are expected at the gate 18. Starts! Go. The engine. Clang. Dirty whore! Dirty whore! Go! Bitch! Bitch! The phone rings. Hello? * Melanie? * Where are you? It's complicated. I can not go with you. But why? * I have a love story set. And I have a super tight timing. You'll have fend for yourself. It's too late. * No. It's never too late. It's not too later. Course. * Course. Run! * Quote, fuck! Illegal immigrants! Illegal immigrants, you not care where? Why? Quickly * Last call for boarding flight 1593 to Benin. It's him! Innocent! Innocent ... Above all, do not move. This man should not go. It is not possible. He must go home. But I love it! I want to marry her. ll have to live with him 6 months under the same roof. It is not possible, since you take him. That's what I'm saying. * Your attention, please ... You will not let him go after what he did. Because it hurts me! Still. It happens! Found something. Above all, do not move, my love. They come get you, it's good. Innocent, I love you! * Felix Mendelssohn: "Wedding March". ... Turning now mutual consent. ... No! It's not there, the wedding? Good. Best wishes. You, Aurora, are you willing to take spousal Aymeric before God to love and to cherish all your life? - Yes. - Aymeric, do you agree to take to wife Aurore here present before God to love and cherish all your life? No! Wait. Thunder. I have something to say. Coward. Two minutes. There. You wait here. The newlyweds will leave. Take a packet of rice. Wait. Wait, Dawn. It resumed. Where were we? Consent. Okay, consent. Very good. Good. Go. We concentrate, we agree, and we let more disturbing. You, Aurora ... I said yes! Oh, sorry. Uh ... So you, Aymeric ... you accept to take to wife Dawn, here present, before God to love and cherish all your life? No. Aymeric, I love you. I have forgotten nothing. For 15 years, I kept the thought of you. That's it? You're finished? Who else has a message to get across? Sit down. You resume. Thou consent. Blandine, me neither, I have forgotten nothing. I kept on my heart a trace of you. * Wedding March. ... Anything! Brat! Applause. You're shit! ... You're there. It was successful, it's great. In two months, they marry. Dans 3, tu es dehors. So? Are you happy? Ouch. Forgiveness. Yeah! Long live the bride! Yeah! Yeah! Take that, here we go. It's heavy. It is you who are heavy. Barking. Shut up. * Once Upon a Time: "Apple." Captioning: Flash Video "Winner, winner, chicken dinner." Those words had been dancing around my head all night. I mean, it's Vegas lore, that phrase. Just ask any of the old-time pit bosses, they'll know. It was a Chinese dealer at Binion's who was first credited with the line. He would shout it every time he dealt blackjack. That was over 40 years ago, and the words still catch. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. There it is! "Winner, winner, chicken dinner." Yeah, try it. I had heard it at least 14 times that night. I couldn't lose. First of all, what I was doing wasn't illegal. There were certain institutions and people that frowned upon it, but it's legal. And not everyone can do it. Just those with gifted minds. I have a gifted mind. That's what got me into all this mess. I was counting cards and I was up over $640,000. All right! I'm just gonna have to split those tens. - Splitting tens. - Splitting tens again. Well, that's all right. I've been winning and losing for years. We used hand signals, too. Folded arms, the table's hot. A touch to the eye, we need to talk. And a hand running through perfect flowing hair meant only one thing. Get out. Now. "Winner, winner, chicken dinner." Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. Premed. 4.0 GPA. 44 MCATs. President, American Legion Math League. TA to Professors Wilkins and Sanders. Both of whom are friends of mine, and who wrote glowing recommendations. And you're accepted early into school here at Harvard Med, pending graduation from MIT. It's very impressive. Thank you. The Robinson Scholarship is comprehensive, as you know. It's a free ride. And free rides don't come easy. Absolutely. We have 76 applicants this year, only one of whom will get the scholarship and most of whom have résumés just as impressive as yours. Right. Professor Phillips? Some kids grow up wanting to play for the Red Sox. You know, some grow up wanting to be, I don't know, a fireman. I grew up... Well, really, I just wanted to come here to Harvard Med. And now that I've gotten accepted, it seems to only come down to the money. Which I don't really have. So, what I'm trying to say is that I really, really need this scholarship. Did you rehearse that? Yeah. Like, 14 times in front of the mirror. Unfortunately, desire doesn't figure into this much. The Robinson is going to go to someone who dazzles. Somebody who just jumps off the page. Oh, well, then, I'm also involved in a science competition. We're building a robotic wheel that can navigate itself using a proprietary GPS system. Well, I'm designing the system. So... Right. Ben, last year, the Robinson went to Hyum Jae Wook, a Korean immigrant who has only one leg. Well, I have both my legs. Well, have you considered cutting one of them off? That was a joke. Ben, it's all about the essay. You need to really explain to us what makes you special. What life experience separates you from all the rest. Life experience. What can you tell me, Ben, that's going to dazzle me? I'm so sorry I'm late. - Where is your jacket? - Oh, I got it. I got it. It's right here. This is no way for the new assistant manager to come to work. Congratulations. How does $8 an hour sound? Eight dollars? Wow! Wow. That's great, Warren. Thank you. Thank you. You slept with him, didn't you? - Yes, I did. Yes, I did. - Yes, you did. I'll sleep with him, too, and I'll get $8 an hour. So Palmer finishes up his lecture, right? And I say to him, "Well, Professor Palmer, you're gonna need at least 14 capacitance probes "to get the kind of results that you're looking for," okay? So then he says to me, "Miles, don't you think that's a little excessive?" And I get up, I swear to God, Ben, I get up in front of the entire class and I say, "You can never have enough capacitance probes." Oh, my God. What the hell is wrong with you? Oh, nothing. I hope nothing. You just got promoted, man. You should be happy. I just gotta write this essay for the Robinson Scholarship, and I have nothing. And the reason that I have nothing is 'cause, well, I've done nothing. - Oh, give me a break, Ben. - What? You have everything. You blow me out of the water, and I'm a cerebral stud. Is that nothing? Yeah, well, it doesn't dazzle. Hey. It dazzles me, mister. You know, ever since I was 16, I crushed exams. I took on extracurriculars. I showed up early. I even sat up at the front and I stayed late. Man, I gave up everything. You know, I gave up fun. I gave up sex. I don't think you gave up sex. - Okay. Maybe not sex. - Yeah, you didn't give up sex. All right, all right. Not sex, but... It just annoys me that the one thing that is stopping me from going to Harvard Med is money. You know, tuition fees and living expenses alone cost over $300,000. $300,000. It's outrageous. It's astronomically high. I get that. You know, I just thought there was more to life than just money. Well, look at the bright side, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance. Thank you. - Happy birthday, honey. - Thanks, Mom. Thank you, love. Kisses. Make a wish. - Make a wish. - Okay. Bravo. Congratulations, Benjamin. Did you know Miles did the frosting on that? You see that? It took me five minutes to figure out it was a Fibonacci series... Where the next number is 21. Now you're slipping, Cam. Cam, you owe another six bucks. No, no. I didn't eat any of the Buffalo wings. Oh, really? That's great. Well, we're not doing it that way. We're just dividing equally. So let's say you pay. - I got it, all right? - No, no. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. It's your birthday. You're as broke-ass as I am. I just wish now I had eaten some of those wings. So, I nailed the specs on the 2.09 last night, after 19 cups of coffee. - Check it out. - You are kidding. - What is this? - You're kidding! This is good. Miles, this is good. Yeah, well, it better be 'cause this is what we've been working for since we got here. This is called destiny. You know, there is the... Thank you. There is the possibility that we might not actually win this thing. Oh, yeah? Bite your tongue! Bite your damn tongue! Look, guys, we don't date, we don't travel, we don't have any money. The only thing that we do have is the 2.09 Competition. If we can't even win that, what's the point? Hey, hey. Look at this! No, no, no, no. Yeah. We suck. Your father would be so proud of you, Ben. Yeah. Do you remember anything about him? Not really. Maybe when he shaved? Yeah, I think I watched him shave. So, what are your plans for the rest of the night? I don't know. I'll probably just go back and work on that essay. Ben, you're working too hard. Between the job and school and the 2.09, you've had no time for just yourself. You have to squeeze in a little time for fun, Ben. You only turn 21 once. And it goes by very fast. Okay. All right. - Good night. - All right, good night. - Don't come home before 3:00. - All right. All right. Now, who can explain Newton's method and how you use it? You can use it to solve nonlinear equations. That's impressive. That's really good. I mean, I'm very impressed by that, especially since my class is called Nonlinear Equations. All right, now somebody tell me something I don't already know. Anyone? Bueller. Anyone? Bueller. Newton stole it. - I'm sorry? - Newton stole it. Joseph Raphson published this same method 50 years earlier. And if the start value is too far removed from true zero, then it fails. - I'm sorry, what's your name? - Ben. Ben Campbell. Ben. So Ben Campbell suggests that Joseph Raphson was the original author of this method. Well, if that's the case, then why didn't he get any credit? Well, for one thing, Newton had a better publicist. And for another, after 1700, we know very little about Raphson other than the fact that he discovered the Kabbalah about 300 years before Madonna. All right, now, let's give Ben a chance for some extra credit, shall we? We're gonna call this the game show host problem, all right? Ben, suppose you're on a game show. And you are given a chance to choose from three different doors, all right? Now, behind one of the doors is a new car. Behind the other two, goats. Which door would you choose, Ben? Door number one? Door number one. Ben chooses door number one. All right, now, the game show host, who, by the way, knows what's behind all the other doors, decides to open another door. Let's say he chooses door number three. Behind which sits a goat. Now... Ben, game show host comes up to you. He says, "Ben, do you want to stay with door number one "or go with door number two?" Now, is it in your interest to switch your choice? - Yeah. - Well, wait. Remember, the host knows where the car is so how do you know he's not playing a trick on you? Trying to use reverse psychology to get you to pick a goat? Well, I wouldn't really care. I mean, my answer's based on statistics. Based on variable change. Variable change? But he just asked you a simple question. Yeah, which changed everything. Enlighten us. Well, when I was originally asked to choose a door, I had a 33.3% chance of choosing right. But after he opens one of the doors and then re-offers me the choice, it's now 66.7% if I choose to switch. So, yeah, I'll take door number two, and thank you for that extra 33.3%. Exactly. People, remember, if you don't know which door to open, always account for variable change. Now, see, most people wouldn't take the switch out of paranoia, fear, emotions. But Mr. Campbell, he kept emotions aside and let simple math get his ass into a brand-new car! Which is better than that goat you've been driving around campus. All right, everybody. That's the end of the day. Thank you very much. Your graded papers are down here at the end. You can pick them up on your way out. I am invincible. Guys, Jill Taylor, 10 o'clock. Man. That's brutal. You know, you should just ask her out, man. It's not like she's a rocket scientist or anything. Oh, wait, she is. Well, why don't you ask her? Because I'm already dating someone. Yeah, your right hand doesn't count, Miles. It does the way I use it. It does the way I use it. Hey, you know what? Maybe I don't even want to go out with her. Yeah, that's funny. You know, you say you want a life experience, right? Well, I'd say getting down with that would definitely qualify. Cam! Boy genius. You have to follow me now. - Excuse me? - You have to follow me now. Come on. - Where are we going? - You'll see. Our honored guest. - How you doing, Ben? - I'm okay. - You ever been in this room before? - Yeah. Organic Chemistry in my freshman year. - How'd you do? - Well, I got an A. - Professor Rosa... - Micky, please. Is there a problem with my paper? Well, you found a more efficient method for finding true zero than Isaac Newton and that, my friend, is not so much of a problem as it is a major ass-kicking. Although Newton has been dead for over 250 years, so it wasn't exactly a fair fight. So, is this some kind of a math club? Don't be rude, people. - Kianna. - Fisher. - Choi. - Jill. - You ever studied blackjack? - No. No, really? Well, it's really simple, actually. You play against the dealer. You're given two cards. Face cards are worth 10 points. The closest to 21 wins. If you go over, you lose. If the dealer goes over, they lose. It's the most popular card game in the world. It's a game with memory. Cards drawn are the past, ones to come are future. And the best part, it's beatable. Are you talking about counting cards? No. I'm talking about getting very, very rich. You count cards, right? All of you? As a team, yes. - When? - Weekends. And Christian holidays. - Where? - Vegas, baby. So, why are you telling me? Well, let's just say a spot opened up on our roster. How? Jimmy got a job at Google. - Jimmy got a job at Google? - Yeah, it's catchy, I know. Well, if you're making so much money at this, then why did he take it? Ben, I said Google, not Sizzler. Yeah... This is crazy. No, Ben. This is profitable. Yeah, I can't do it. So, I'm sorry. - Come on, Ben. It'll be fun. - Yeah, Ben, it'll be fun. No, it's not that. It's... I just got a promotion at my job, so it's kind of not a good time for me. We pay better. Look, I can't just go to Vegas on weekends. Why not? MIT's on cruise control for you, you've already gotten into Harvard Med. I mean, what do you have to worry about? - How did you know that? - I like to take an interest in my students. Well, I'm also really involved in the science competition. You know, the 2.09 Competition? Wait, no. I'm building a car that drives by itself. Yeah, well, it's something I've been doing with my friends for over a year, so it's kind of important. Ben, let the car drive by itself. Listen, you not only have a gifted mind, but you're also composed. You don't give in to your emotions. You think logically. Ben, you were born for this. You'll have more fun than you've ever had in your entire life. It's perfect. Thank you. But I'm really not the right guy. So I'm sorry. Ben. I hope this little conversation we just had will remain private. - No, of... - No. You're one of my favorite new students, and I'd hate to lose you, if you know what I mean. - I'm just not sure it's me. - It's boring. It's boxy. It's blue. How is that not you? So, how much is this thing gonna run me? Oh, well, let's see, the belt's $49.95, minus 15%. The jacket's $589.99. The pants, $285.99, minus 10% for both. Unfortunately, the shirt's not on sale, but I can knock off 5% from the $69.99. The shoes were just marked down from $155, so you're looking at $1,042.68. I'm pretty good with numbers. - Yeah. - I guess so. Yeah, so let me know when I can ring that up for you guys. - Yes. Thank you. - Thanks. Hey. Hey. - Could you help me? - Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. I'm looking for a tie. Oh, well, we're having a 15% sale on the ties. And if you want, I could probably get you an additional 10% with my employee discount. - This one's nice. - Yeah. Oh, yeah. This one has actually been treated with our patented Nano-Tex fabric protection, you know, to repel liquids and stains. - Well, that's really functional. - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty functional. Face me. Stay still. Despite being tempted by the Nano-Tex repellant, I'm actually not here for a tie, Ben. I came to see you. You did? Blackjack's a great game. No, look, it's easy to learn and there's really not as much strategy to it as people think. I grew up on it, actually. - You grew up on it? - Yeah. Every night after dinner, my father and I would play. I knew basic strategy before I was, like, nine years old. If I won, he'd take me out for ice cream. And what if he won? He'd still take me out for ice cream. Oh, yeah. Sure, yeah, he's your dad. Ben, you should feel the thrill of winning more money than you can possibly imagine. I think you should come to Vegas. 'Cause I'm guessing that you could probably use a break from this place. I can't. I'm sorry. I just can't. Okay. If you change your mind, you know where we meet. Yeah. You're welcome any time. You know, I think the best thing about Vegas is you can become anyone you want. - What's the count? - Plus 9. - No. - Plus 11. No. - Dude, I lost count 20 cards ago. - Don't call me "dude." - Plus 9? - You're just following Jill. People, please. We had a total of 76 cards that came out of the deck. Twenty-three were high cards with a value of minus one. Seventeen were neutral with no value at all, and the rest were low cards with a value of plus one. - How could you lose the count? - Plus 13. The count. It's plus 13. Yes. Pull up a chair. Stop. - What is it? - Plus 12. Eggs. Twelve eggs in a carton. - Now what? - Plus 9. Cats have nine lives. Cat. Sweet 16. Every card had a value. A high card, minus one. A low card, plus one. The rest, zero. Plus 13. Plus 8. Plus 9. Plus 12. I was studying all day, every day. But it wasn't physics, chemistry and engineering. I was back to simple math, used in ways I could never have imagined. The team had a system. And to go unnoticed, we created a whole new language. Words were numbers, and numbers were words. - Plus 17. - Magazine. - Plus 6. - Gun. - Plus 15. - Paycheck. Plus 12. Is this chemistry review? - Plus 14. - Ring. - Plus 16. - Sweet. Use it in a sentence. Man, that sugar's sweet. Because I knew the count, I knew which cards were left in the deck. That's how I knew what to bet. You're doing great. Micky, I just want to let you know that I'm only doing this for medical school, which is $300,000. I mean, if I can get anything close to that, then I'm done. Well, in the first place, Ben, it's not "if," it's "when." And second of all, I get it. I completely understand. - You do? - Yeah. It's a means to an end. Look, they've got this new computer software that reads people's faces, so who knows how long this gig's gonna last for any of us? What if we get caught? Our system keeps us under the radar, you'll see. Anyway, counting cards isn't illegal. - So, there's no danger in it at all? - No, Ben, it's safe. Very safe. You think you can beat the system? This is the system, beating you back. You wanna count cards, you do it in Atlantic City. - Get him up. - Come on, kid. Count to five. - Count to five! - What? Count to five so I know you don't have brain damage, you can go home. Start with one. One, two, three, four, five. Good. Now, stop counting. Let's go. You're crazy, everybody knows to split eights. My grandmother splits eights. Not against a 10. It's a sucker play. Look, you're choosing to play two hands against the highest up card a dealer can have, right? Against a five or a six, it'd be fine. Against a 10 or an ace, it's a sucker play. Yeah, Kianna, save it, all right? Jill's right. All right? Choi, why don't you explain to Ben how we do? Oh, all right. So, our team is divided into two kinds of players, spotters and big players, right? So if you think that this table is the casino floor, then salt and pepper shakers are your spotters. Spotters are just sitting at the various blackjack tables and they're betting the table minimum. They never fluctuate their bet. That's right. Spotters never raise the bet or play any kind of progressive system. That's how we stay under the radar, and that's why we never get caught. Exactly. Okay, they're just sitting at the table, betting the table min, and they're keeping the count waiting for one of these decks to get hot. Right. And then when one of the decks gets hot, the spotter at that table signals in the big player. This... Mustard. Give me the mustard, honey. Please. Well, I'm always the mustard, so... When I get the signal for the hot deck, I stumble over like some drunk rich kid, or some zoned out dot-com millionaire, and I throw down big money. So the big player bets big and still keeps the count. When the deck cools, he cashes in. It's not as easy as it sounds. Oh, yeah, it's not, you know, because if Grey Poupon over here ever loses the count, it's up to his table's spotter to give him the signal to get out. - And you know the signals, right? - Yeah. Show us. Okay, what's this? - The deck's hot. - Right. We need to talk. The deck's cooling. And get out. Get out now. Good. I think he's gonna be ready for our little trial run tomorrow. There's a trial run? - Where? - You'll find out. Hey. - You Ben? - Yeah. Follow me. This way. Go, go. You go. No more bet. No more bet. Come on, money. Today, 14. Whose side are you on? Sixteen. Thank you. Sorry, gentlemen. So, Henry, did I tell you I read about this place in a magazine? - You wanna put that money down? - Yeah. $300. $300. $300. You bet, sir? Thanks. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. "Winner, winner, chicken dinner." All right. Nice. Can I get another drink, please? Thank you. What the hell are you doing? What are you doing? I haven't done anything! Get off me! Get off, I haven't done anything! Please. Please let go. - What's the count? - Please don't hurt me. - I said, what's the count? - Look, I haven't even done anything! What's the count? Plus 18. Oh, you've gotta be kidding. Congratulations, Ben. Sorry, we had to make sure you'd keep the count under pressure. Welcome to the team. We didn't mean it. It's okay, Campbell, I cried inside that bag. Fisher and Jimmy have always been the big players. I want you to take Jimmy's place. I've never done this. I know that and I understand. But I don't trust the girls, and Choi is, well, Choi. Look, I've been teaching for more than 14 years, and I've never had a student as impressive as you. Your brain is like a goddamn Pentium chip. You're gonna do great. You know how I know that? 'Cause you remind me of myself 25 years ago. You in? - Yeah. Yeah, I'm in. - Good. Good. There's one more thing, Ben, and this is important. We're counting cards, we're not gambling. We're following a specific set of rules and playing a system. Right. I've seen how crazy it can get at those tables, and sometimes, people lose control. They give in to their emotions. You will not. You understand? Yeah. Get some rest. - Some rest? - Yeah, we're leaving tomorrow. Tomorrow? I have a Quantitative Literacy paper due Tuesday. - No, you don't. - I don't? No, I spoke to Professor O'Reilly. I told him you were helping me with a special assignment, and he understood, so he gave you an A. You see, Ben, amazing things can happen from the inside. You'll get a call about details later. So did the girls go on ahead, huh? Oh, yeah. They got a lot more bags to check, you know? Okay. Well, wait for us by security 'cause Ben and I are gonna hit the head. No, I'm good. No, I really think you should go. It's a long flight. - No, I'm okay. - We're going to the bathroom. Honestly, I really don't have to go. - I don't care what you have to do. - Look, I really don't have to... Please just shut up. Why are you looking over there? Look, I don't... I don't care. Shut up. Get in here. - What are you doing? - Let's go. - Pull down your pants. - What? Don't ask questions. - Shove these in your underwear. - Why? You want me to do it? 'Cause, I swear to God, I will. - Why can't we leave it in the bag? - Because it shows up on the scanner. And we're not about to have them confiscate $250,000. $250,000? - No. Why do I have to do it? - 'Cause you're the donkey boy. You really suck at not asking questions. What's a donkey boy? - Step forward, sir. - Thanks. - In the basket, please. - There's a table when you get to the line. Act casual, think casual, be casual. Remove your keys, any metal objects. Laptops out, please. Thank you. If you have liquids in a Ziploc bag, please show them to us now. - Thank you. - You're welcome. Your boarding pass. Sir? You forgot your bag. Thanks. Nice going, Campbell. Hey, Ben. Basic strategy says you should hit that. Burt, Moishe, Vladimir, Mona, Miss Sommers, your new identities are on the bar. So glad you could make it. Vladimir Stupnitsky? Yeah. Your dad's a diplomat with the Russian consulate. You live in Washington, D.C. Your hobbies are backgammon, chess and long walks on the beach. Will anyone help me? Hey Gocha... Don't put pressure, he may die. See and tell me, I must kill him. I must kill him. Hey, Doctor? - He's on the bed. - Wake him up! Doctor is there, but what you do there? What to do now? Gocha... Gone again! My partner said he's in this quarry. He can't speak properly. Even a sorry would hear like quarry. Sir, is Singamuthu's son a fool like you to come here? He would've gone in search of his father. - What did you say now? - My foot! You watch cartoons on laptop, he would've left your area along with his father. This place is my fortress, I'll get him at any cost. Enough of searching there, come on boys. Come on boys, Find him whether he is here. Search inside. - Playing cards? - How much? - 250 - Calm! Drinks, cards, you need any woman? May I send one? - He's here! - Who? Your Godfather! Singamuthu's son! He beat my partner. Hey Konda Reddy! Has my son come here? How could I judge it? I can get it from your scared face. You're shivering. You're sweating profusely. Konda Reddy is scared because my son is here! Yes, he has come! But he'll not go alive from here. Come on boys! Get up! Come! Get in. Where did you go? Hey, where did he go? Go inside. Where did Kutty go? Come here. Where did you go? Where did you go? To pluck guavas. There are only stones for 12 kms. Where did you get the guavas? Tell me the truth. Where did you go? I won't tell you. Tell me. I won't tell you. Small boy! Don't you fear me now? Konda Reddy says that Singamuthu is in this quarry. And is insulting me with a camera. This bastard says that he went to pluck guavas. Don't you have any fear? Until he tells me where he went, he must lie there bleeding. If anyone tries to save his life without my knowledge, your children's fate will be very much similar to his. This is Cuddapah Raja's line of death. If anyone treads on it, I will kill him. Kutty, where did he go? He didn't come for lunch either. He can't stay hungry. Kutty, come fast. We might miss the bus. Someone tell me where he is. Ilango, where is Kutty? Tell him to come. He went somewhere. Cuddappah Raju questioned him where he went. He didn't tell him anything. He hit him with an iron rod. No Velu. Listen to me. Cuddappah Raja asked him several times. He should have told him the truth. That's his fate. No Velu. This is our curse. Let's go. How many times to tell you? Are you deaf? You fear death. Not me. Singamuthu is in jail. I saw him. They threatened me. But I told them nothing. Take him to hospital. Make it fast. Shocked? I'm not Murugesh to get beaten up. I'm Vel, Singamuthu's son. Vetrivel. He will come. I swear. His words have come true. One must give birth to a son like him. By killing Cuddappah Raja for these people, you've kept up your father's promise. How are you going to save your father who is in Konda Reddy's custody? I know where my father is. I will come back with my father. You leave this place with these people. Welcome! Are you Singamuthu's son? You can't find your father. Konda Reddy has entered your people's camp. You don't know about him. He can knock 3 heads in one swing. I don't know how many would have died by now. Your men are going to die there. And you're going to die here. Catch him. Get everyone into the bus. Leave no child. Get every child into the bus. When we locked up Singamuthu, your boss, everyone worked in fear. Now that his son is back, have you lost your fear? Get every child into the bus. Sir, all are innocent children. Give us any punishment. Don't harm them. Look, your children will be taken to Bihar or Orissa. If anyone tries to escape, we will cut your children's limbs and make them beg on Bombay streets. Leave my brother. Tell them to leave my brother. How will they leave your brother? You should've thought before doing something. I told you but you never listened to me. Now Singamuthu's son beat their men. But you people are in a fix. It's all your fate. I'm Konda Reddy's man. Get lost. Someone is beating our men. Go there. I'm Konda Reddy's man. I'm Konda Reddy's man. Konda Reddy is not an ordinary man. Take them all. Get inside. Get inside. I am scared. Don't get scared. You will be fine. Don't make any noise stay here. - Okay. - Stay inside. What if Singamuthu's son comes here. This is Konda Reddy's fortress. Don't lock horns with him. No one can escape. Take them all. This is Konda Reddy's fortress. This idiot tried to escape. That bus is full. I thought of putting him in this bus. Come here. Take him. go. Leave me. Leave me. I didn't hide them. I swear I didn't do it. Who did this? Brother... Brother... Brother... Konda Reddy somehow knew about our people trying to escape. They are taking away small children. I tried to save a few. But they found them. Let the attrocities end with me. You must save our men. Let me be the last man to die. Leave no one. - Father... - Kill me. You bastard! You came looking for your father. Kill me now. How dare you kill my man Cuddappah Raja? Now kill me. You said he'll come as your saviour, right? I will kill him infront of your eyes. and put his dead body under Gocha's feet. Velu, don't worry about me. We must save these people. Kill him. Kill him. He is my son Velu. Vetri Velu. Konda Reddy, you think you can kill me? My son will surely send you to hell. If you are a real man, fight with him. Brother llango... How many more are there? Call any number of men. This will be their fate. You said I can't come alive. I have come alive. You said I can't save my father and my people. I have saved them. You said Konda Reddy is the King of Cuddappah. But now I stand on his dead body. You said whether I am real man. Yes, I am real man. To me, you're just a corpse. If any Konda Reddy or Gocha comes here I will slit their throats. Stop. As you said, you have saved your father your people. No one can cross Cuddapah. I've framed your people as naxalites. Courier, I woke up when you killed Cuddappah Raja. We jailed your father as a naxalite. Just 5 minutes, I changed everything. To free the head of terrorists, police station vandalized. Terrorists attacked police and escaped with arms ammunitions. How is it? No inquiry for naxalites. Encounter straight away. It's our men. Hey Inspector. We got the shooting order. Don't listen to anyone. Just kill them all. Okay sir. Want to hear their death cries? Listen. - No one should escape. - Gocha, my father my people. Tell police not to shoot them. Hello... hello... There are little children. Hello... hello... Do you think I will cry beg you? Those who are in the bus are your men not mine. You said Konda Reddy called us. But you are taking us elsewhere. If you're a smart ass, I am a much smarter ass. I know you will do such a thing. You said you framed them. I changed everything. There is an important guest in the bus. Do you know who it is? Where are you trying to escape? Why are you leaving us? Police? Go catch them. - Listen. - Go fast! Those who kidnapped the marriage party are running away. - Who are you? - I am Konda Reddy's brother. I know Konda Reddy's brother. I am Gocha's son-in-law. Does this dirty face need Gocha's sister? Gocha told us to be alert and to shoot everyone and not let anyone escape. It has only smelt only blood. But this has smelt our sweat too. Do you know what will happen if I hack you with this? Come hack us now. Kill us. Come. Idiot. You shot the groom. Shot them all dead. They are not your policemen. Very honest policemen, as a wonded man if you can do so many things, I wounded you, I can do many things. The day I saw your laptop, I sent information through the net. That's why top officers are here. I know. Even if we had planned this operation, this would have been the end. In a war, people will die. We can handle this in the inquiry. Mind your business. You go. Since your son sent information through the net, we were able to catch a big criminal. He has done good. Feel proud of him. Great job. I really appreciate you. C'mon boys, search the place. Those who mined diamonds against the law were arrested punished. Velu who helped us in this operation was felicitated by the government. Moreover, his crimes were pardoned and freed by the court. Nothing wrong in doing this for a son like you. I feel proud of you. I might be your father, but you were born for the people! Previously on Kyle XY... Kyle? Be careful, even in our backyard. We have bigger problems than Mrs. Bloom. Jessi starts back at school today. I sort of levitated. Show me how. I will. She's the one who attacked me. I know Lori will never forgive me. You have to earn forgiveness. "She Could Be You. " What? The two of you used to play that song all the time. D4. It's not there. It's a Latnok ring. All the members received rings. It was a way of identifying one another. And you're Latnok? Yes. I got accepted into a music program in New York. I leave in two days. Two days? I miss this. I miss you. I didn't want to go back to how I was before. How were you before? Invisible. I'll call... and text and e-mail. I'm gonna come back to you. You promise? Promise. Spring cleaning- a curious ritual. Nicole said it meant time to rid ourselves of things we didn't need anymore. The first step is reflection. What's worth keeping? What's lost its value and can be given away? For some, the choice is easy. For others, much more difficult. Wow! Getting rid of all that. Actually, I've gone through, and... I like all my things. I don't want to give them away. Oh, Kyle, you don't have to, but... a lot of this stuff has seen its best day. Look at this t-shirt. It's shrunk, it's stained, it's faded. I wore this the first time Stephen took me to work with him. Well... this one's torn. I ripped it playing basketball with Josh. Great game. The first gift Lori ever gave me. Sentimental pack rat. Great. We're in trouble. Look, this isn't supposed to be torture. Consider it a chance to shed your old skin, be someone new. Dude, take a load off. Let's throw this puppy around for a few. Let me grab the rest of the boxes first. The boxes aren't going anywhere. But I told Nicole that I- The best part about spring cleaning is ditching out on spring cleaning. You can't do it, can ya? You always have to do the right thing. And you always find a way of putting fun before work. Alphabetical order, my encyclopedic friend. But I will have you know, I'm done with my room. And I'm trashing this with the rest of my stuff. But first... Bite marks. Foam. It's irresistible. Come on. Show me what you got. Okay. Keep going. More. Whoa! ±¾×ÖÄ"½ö¹©Ñ§Ï°½"Á÷£¬ÑϽûÓÃÓÚÉÌÒµÓÃ; -=ÆÆÀÃÐÜ×ÖÄ"×é=- ·­Ò룺¸öÈËID У¶Ô£º¸öÈËID ʱ¼äÖ᣺¿¨Èø You didn't tell me you were coming. No one knows. I'm surprising my mom for her birthday. You're a good present. How's New York? Amazing. Everything I imagined. And the music program? The teachers are all so inspiring. And the students there are so talented. Like you. They've all had incredible training. It was intimidating at first, but I know I'm in good company. I'm learning about composers I never knew- Amanda's heart was beating rapidly, and she was speaking really fast. She seemed happy, but I could sense that she was troubled. I'm already a better technical player. Amanda... is everything all right? I can never hide anything from you. But I need to let my mom know I'm home. Can we get together later? Of course. Good. I guess we need to talk. She said what? "We need to talk. " What is it? Nothing. No, I missed something. Well, when someone says, "We need to talk," sometimes it's a lead in to a discussion about feelings that have changed. Feelings? Prepare yourself, dude. She's dumping you. At least she has the decency to do it in person. Don't read into it. Just wait and hear what she has to say. No. Not my lucky shirt. Josh, you've outgrown it. I couldn't help but wonder... Had Amanda already outgrown me? Okay, grab hold of the wire and make these babies blink. What? You turned a block full of headlights on. This should be easy. Are you serious? You said I look for ways to slack off. This I take seriously. You have to challenge that brilliant mind of yours, and someone has to fill in for that Foss guy, right? Well, that someone, my friend, will be me. Really? Just- make 'em blink. Hey. Is it working? Not really. Thinking about Amanda drained all the voltage out of him. Oh. Yeah, I heard. "We need to talk. " Sorry she left you hanging. Typical woman. Um, anyway... I need to look for my digital projector. You giving that away, too? No, I need it for a lecture I'm giving at U.W. You're giving a lecture? I mean... you're giving a lecture. I've been asked to speak at a symposium tomorrow. Are you getting paid for this thing? Because you're supposed to bring home the bacon, Dad, and I eat a lot of bacon. For your information, Josh, I have already had a job offer. This lecture is about showing my expertise... for free. Well, I think your expertise is worth more than that. Thank you, Kyle. I'll let you two get back to work. What's that? Just an old magazine. You done in your room? Yep. And now I need permission to boycott an assignment. Let me guess: math. Nope. Me. My guidance counselor is making everyone write a two-page essay about who you really are. I don't know the answer to that yet. I mean, how old were you when you figured that out? I'll let you know when I get there. Figuring out who you are is a constantly evolving process. "Constantly evolving process. " That's three words. I need more. How about "sarcastic," "moody," and "cynical"? I didn't ask you. And I'm not a cynic. I am totally "glass is half full. " I just acknowledge that the other half of the glass is a desolate void of disappointment, misery, and regret. Preparing ahead makes me pragmatic. Uh, speaking of being prepared... Homework? Done. I know. You should call Ripley's. I need an opinion. I can't decide which one. What do you guys think, plaid? Definitely. Thanks. You and Amanda should take a walk around the marina. Sunsets are really pretty. Maybe we will. Dead man walking. Hi. Hello. Can I come in? There's a front door. I wanted to see you. This is quicker. What happened? Oh, I - I slipped and hit my shoulder. Jumping off another roof? Kyle, I've learned my lesson. And I'm here to learn another one. You said I have to work my way up to do things like levitate, so start teaching me. I can't. There's nobody around. I have plans tonight with Amanda. Oh, Amanda. She's home? As a surprise. You're anxious about it. Your heart's beating really fast, I can tell. She told me, "We need to talk. " So? You don't think that means anything? Uh... it means she wants to talk to you? Isn't that a good thing? That's what I thought. So, uh, when can we get started? When Amanda goes back, I'll have time. Okay. Well... good-bye. Bye. Ready? Kyle, I can't go out. But you said we need to talk. I'm sorry. I can't see you. Amanda? Inside! This is all your fault. What? My daughter flying clear across the country to surprise me. You're not happy she's home? I'd be happy if she hadn't used my birthday as an excuse to tell me she wants to drop out. Drop out of the conservatory? Why? As if you didn't know you're the reason. She didn't say anything to me about it. We haven't even had a chance to talk. You're not gonna get that chance. You will not see or speak to Amanda until she's back where she belongs, at that school. I don't understand why she won't let me speak to Amanda. Well, unfortunately, Mrs. Bloom sees you as a distraction. I just want to know what happened, make sure she's okay. Well, put yourself in Mrs. Bloom's shoes. What I mean is, try to see things from her perspective. That music conservatory sounds like a pretty big opportunity, one that Amanda shouldn't miss. I don't want her to miss it. But Mrs. Bloom shouldn't force her to go back. Kyle, I'm afraid Mrs. Bloom has every right to send Amanda back whether she wants to go or not. Just as she has the right to ask you to stay away. And the hard truth is... it's really none of our business. You know what Amanda means to me. If she's struggling with, or confused about something, how could it be none of my business? I know you're bummed, but look at the bright side. Which, by the way, is my new M.O. At least Amanda wasn't planning on dumping you. How do you know that? Mrs. Bloom blames you for ruining her life. It seems to me like Amanda flying home was a case of "girl missing boy next door. " But we don't know that. We don't know anything Amanda's feeling. No one's letting her explain. Even Mom and Dad. I can't believe they're siding with Mrs. Bloom. I can't believe we're siding with Carol Bloom. She's uptight, narrow-minded- Yeah, and those are her good qualities. Well, like it or not, we have to respect what she wants for her daughter. But Kyle has shown nothing but love and concern for Amanda. And now we have to keep them apart? The funny thing is, knowing Kyle, he'd make the situation a lot better if he were just allowed to talk to her. You remember being Kyle's age? When something like this takes over your whole life... That's half the fun of being in love. Now we have to be the buzz kills, the grown-ups. Well, if this is what being a grown-up means- It sucks. Why can't Mom and Dad do something? They can't cross the line with Mrs. Bloom. They're all about crossing the line when something's not fair. Go throw Mom one of your "puppy dog in a thunderstorm" looks. Get her to change her mind. They made it clear. I have to obey Mrs. Bloom's request. This isn't right. I can't just stand back and do nothing. Kyle, do I detect defiance? Genius joins the dark side. I've got a list of rules I've been dying for you to break. I don't want to break any rules. I won't have to. I'll do exactly what Mrs. Bloom asked me to do. Atta boy, Kyle. Take a stand. Why are your feet on my bed? There were still ways to contact Amanda without seeing or speaking to her. * I miss * Feeling you there by my side... * I could easily circumvent Mrs. Bloom without leaving my own house. But it seemed she could find ways to thwart me just as easily. If electronic messages weren't getting through, there would be no way for me to send a note or a letter without Mrs. Bloom intercepting it. I couldn't see or speak to Amanda. The written word was no longer an option. But there were still a few notes I could send her way. I hoped this message would get through, and she would at least know I was thinking about her. I was just trying- I know what you were doing. I think you better come in now. What? You want my music now, too? You've already confiscated my phone and my computer. I know this is hard for you to understand- That you're keeping me prisoner? You will leave this house when you agree to return to New York to become the extraordinary pianist you're meant to be. Mom, I'm not seven years old anymore. You think I don't get that this is a great opportunity for me? Then why would you throw it away? Because it's not right for me now. It's not what I want. You don't know what you want. Dude... the crispity, crunchity goodness in that bowl is long gone. I'm not really hungry. My essay sucks. Speaking of sucks- What? I meant Shakespeare. Extra credit. Impressive. Impressive would be figuring out what language this was written in. I thought Kyle might be able to translate, but... Well, what part are you at? The part that says it's about two families and it's set in "fair Verona. " That's the first two lines. She lives exactly 38 feet 9 inches away, and I can't even tell her I'm sorry. You could if she wasn't locked in her own house. Who else but Mrs. Bloom actually changes the alarm code to keep someone in? I just hope Amanda doesn't feel as bad as I do. Looks like we have our own resident pair of star-crossed lovers. The balcony scene's her favorite part of the play. Of course, it didn't end well for them. So Romeo and Juliet did everything in their power to be together. You guys know how this ends? Why didn't you say so? This all began when Amanda said we needed to talk. That's exactly what we're gonna do. I can write my essay later. Whatever it is, I'm in. Wait a minute. I'll do just about anything but that. If you wanna help, you have to commit, take this seriously. Then let me drive the getaway car instead. Or I could create a diversion or something. Hey, you want in? Accept the assignment. Then I guess I'll see if I can borrow one of Andy's. What can I do to help? Help what? Help Kyle have a night out with Amanda like you've been talking about. How do you know what we've been talking about? You just sat down. I listened in while I was sitting at that table over there. I thought you had the copyright on that move. I can do anything Kyle can do. Could you make out with Amanda? 'Cause that would be hot. It's a common male fantasy to watch two women make out. Number six on popular top-ten lists, but it's not really backed by statistical evidence. That's all really fascinating and everything, Kyle, but I think what she really needs to learn is the meaning of privacy. Bitchy, not cynical. A total difference. I was just trying to help. ? Can I help you? Hi. Is Amanda home? I'm a friend. I've seen you going in and out of the Trager house. You're Lori's trampy friend. Oh, no, that's Hillary. Well, whoever you are, Amanda is not allowed to have visitors. Oh, but do tell Kyle, "Nice try. " Hey! Dad! Josh! Guess who was a hit at the symposium? I knew you'd be. Yeah, I was a little nervous when I got there, but I look out and I see a room full of computer science geeks. My peeps. Sounds like... really fulfilling and fascinating stuff. Say, uh, why don't you take a load off, and I'll put that projector away for you. Sure. Thanks. That's our block? On a map of the power grid. There's our house.. and Amanda's. And how does that help? I need to know how the neighborhood is wired. This has high-voltage cables, transformers, utility lines, breaker panels- It's part of the plan. I'm back. Jessi, please try to use the- Oh. Front door. Right. How'd it go? 12154. So, uh, I'll see you at the Rack later? Okay. Bye. She was done, right? I should probably get going. Um, didn't you just leave? I wanted to talk to you, and, um... Kyle said that I should... use the front door. Okay. Um... your parents didn't press charges, and they could have. They understand that what I did to you wasn't me. And I'm really lucky that they do. Yeah, you are. Kyle explained everything to you. I didn't want to beat you up. It was my programming. Things... went wrong. So, what, you caused the most traumatic experience of my life, and now you're telling me that it's not your fault? I'm telling you I'm sorry. I'm not here to ruin things anymore. I'm here to help. I'm trying. Then I guess I can try, too. Okay. Hey. Want some help? Dig in. Hey, I thought you got rid of this. I got a little nostalgic and rescued it from the reject pile. I got a little nostalgic myself today. Being back on campus again, no office politics, no corporate crap, just this flow of ideas. It was a real give-and-take. I forgot how satisfying that can be. It's been a long time since you talked about teaching. Yeah, I know. I was surprised when the feeling hit me. I was also surprised when the head of the computer science program mentioned an adjunct professorship. Stephen, that's great. Two job offers. No, no, no, just the one. I turned it down. Why? Well, you wanna get back in the public sector, and I already have a fantastic job. I mean, it's a great salary. I'd be the senior VP in charge of software development. Yeah, at a company that makes elevator control panels. Well, it's not as exciting as a career change, I admit, but at least this time around, I won't have an evil boss. How'd it go? Mission accomplished. Excellent. So far. What you are planning here is so out there, there is no way everything will go right. Suzy Cynic. Kyle, your plan is genius! It's totally optimistic, at least what I understand of it. Thank you. So what's next? Well, Jessi got the alarm code, and you got her to pull down the shade, so on to Phase Two. Here you go. Phase Two. Now we just wait for dark. I have unwavering faith and fully support your exploits, but how is that a plan? You got something better? It's just that there's a lot at stake for Kyle's sake, and I don't want anything to go wrong. Any why would that happen? Kyle's covered all the angles. I'm sure he has. Then why don't you just relax? Kyle's plan has to work, otherwise he won't get to Amanda before she's gone for good. ? Think about Amanda, how much you want to see her, to hold her... to touch her. Josh, eww. What? He needs an emotional trigger. The other thing I need is silence. Good idea. Lori, out! What did I do? This is man's work. I so wanna make a joke right now. She could have stayed. Yeah, but I'm about to get all mushy, and I didn't want her to hear it. Listen, Kyle, I get how messed up you are right now. If anybody told me I couldn't see Andy ever again, I'd be a mess, too. But you've got to pull it together. You really think I can do this? Knowing how much you care about Amanda? Zero doubts. Come on. Deep breaths, just take it slow, one bulb at a time. By focusing, I could control the flow of electrons along the wire, much like driving a car along a narrow road. In this case, the road led into the Trager house's electrical system, which in turn connected to the neighborhood transformer. Through the transformer, I was able to reach Amanda's house and gain access to the house's electrical system. Once inside, I could direct the flow of electrons through the wires hidden in the walls. I was able to find my way to Amanda's room. Finally, I got my message through. And finally, we would have our chance to talk. Phase Three. MEET ME AT THE RACK ALARM CODE 12154 You owe me... big. Trager, you really embraced your inner Hallmark card. You've gone soft. I know. You can cut the irony with a spoon. I just hope it's worth it. What's that supposed to mean? Nothing. All this for puppy love? I mean, seriously, what are the odds that the person you're gonna spend the rest of your life with is literally the girl next door? I mean, I don't want to put a bad mojo on the whole love vibe, but I don't want to set Kyle up to get his heart chopped, sliced, and diced. God, that felt good. Did you see where I put the napkins? Is there a garlic convention in here? Too much? Never. What's the occasion? Take your pick. I feel guilty about discouraging Kyle. I appreciate the life we have and that we have such good kids. Um... I'm incredibly hungry. How about all of the above? Stephen. Hmm? You mentioned Amanda would be missing an opportunity. You ever feel that way? What makes you think I feel that way? Spring cleaning. Dragging the past out of the closets, seeing who we've become. You still look great in a bikini. I wouldn't know. I haven't worn one since Josh was born. Remember how I was supposed to be the cool mom who published thought-provoking articles and had a career? All I've accomplished this weekend is five loads of laundry. Not to mention an insanely aromatic marinara sauce. Yes, there was a time when I wanted to teach, but I don't feel like I'm really missing anything, 'cause I never went down that path. But you had to go the corporate route to support our family. Which I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Why don't you go gather the troops. All right. I'm on it. Hey. Is she coming? I hope so. She got my message. I know now is not the best time to ask, but can we add that electrical trick to the list? I really want to learn that, too. After Amanda goes back to New York, when you have more time. I promise I'll make time. But I have to make time for Amanda, too. She might be staying. Oh, she's staying? She doesn't want to go back. You're surprised. No, it's- it's good news for you. Do you know why? Not yet, but now I have a chance to find out. Thank you... for your help. Your dinner is getting cold. I know you're not very happy with me right now, but I am only looking out for your best interests. I made that noodle casserole you like so much. Oh, Amanda. Hey, hon? Where the hell are they? This could be the biggest move you bust all night, so we just wanna make sure you have it down. Meet her at the door. Compliment her. Walk her over to the table. Offer her a seat. Yes. Care to demonstrate? Would you like a seat? No. No, no. You have to pull the chair out for her. Oh. And then just slip it underneath her as she sits. Not too fast or you'll take her out at the knees. Right. Not too fast. Why am I even worried? You'll be fine. Does it look okay? ? I love this. The lights, the table, everything. And the window in my room. How'd you even get the idea for that? Romeo and Juliet. Act 2, scene 2, line 2. The balcony scene. That's- Your favorite scene in the play. I like that you pay attention to weird little details like that. You do? You're blushing. I am? I shouldn't have said that. I totally embarrassed you. No. Amanda... you can always say whatever you want with me. Glazed Cornish game hens on a bed of sautéed greens, sweet-potato soufflé and asparagus, with shaved Romano and pancetta. I don't think this is what we ordered. Right. 'Cause nothing says romance like a smoked turkey wrap. I took some liberties with the menu. You made this? No one knows I'm secretly a fan of Top Chef. And no one ever will. Bon appétit. Stop staring. I can't. I'm O.D'ing on suspense. I wonder how it's going. You wanna know if it's going badly. What you witnessed earlier was a completely uncharacteristic outburst. No, it's how you really feel. It was just a mini meltdown brought on by some stupid homework assignment. The "Who You Really Are" essay? No one ever takes that seriously. Well, almost no one. It was recently brought to my attention that I am always the girl with the wry commentary and the patented eye roll. Honest question. Do you think I'm a cynic? Honest answer? Absolutely. You're Miss Possible But Not Likely. About my own life? Of course. But watching those two, who am I to say they're not meant for each other? I mean, look at them. Have you ever seen two people look at each other like Kyle and Amanda? Not in a while. Amanda, you said we need to talk. Right. You didn't think I meant- Maybe a little. After a few people weighed in. The one time you didn't take my words literally. Did you really think my feelings had changed? Is that why you brought me here? I brought you here 'cause everyone else was making assumptions about what you wanted, and how you were feeling and what was right for you. But no one was actually asking you. That's why my feelings for you could never change. Didn't know the lights out here twinkled. Only for you. You have no idea how disappointed I am right now! Mom- Save your excuses! Your flight leaves in less than two hours. My flight- You heard me. But you haven't heard her. You have nothing to say in the matter! But I do! Don't you even care? I'm not happy at the conservatory. Of course I care! But I also care about scholarships, opportunities. I care about your future. If you really cared about my future, you would not have sold my piano in the first place! Mom, I'm sorry. I didn't- Get in the car, now. I have to go. I understand. I hope you're satisfied. It took all my will power not to trip her. Thank you for letting me know Amanda was here. Glad I could help. Welcome home. I'd ask you what you were thinking, but I don't think you were thinking at all. Actually, this took a great deal of planning. Not helping. The Blooms' situation was private. We made it very clear you were not to see Amanda. You were not to get involved. I know I broke a rule, but I'm not sorry I did. I had to do it, for Amanda. Good intentions aside, you're still grounded. All of you. Two weeks. What? School, work, home. Everything else is off-limits. And I'll take your cell phones. This was my idea. Lori and Josh shouldn't be punished. They were just helping. Exactly. What if Foss- If anyone important calls, I'll have it with me. Do I get one last call? No. But you do get to go to your rooms. Now. Grounding Kyle. Who would have expected it? And he was the ringleader. When did that start happening? Be honest. You're kinda glad they did it, aren't you? Well? Aren't you? Some rules are meant to be broken. About that. I think we should break some rules, too. Stephen, I don't want us to sail into a complacent, suburban existence without fighting the good fight. I want you to pursue that opport U.W. Nicole, that's not an option. Well, then we need to make it one. You can't get the chance to pursue an old dream and just pass on it. We have mouths to feed. We'll keep them fed. We'll make it work. We always do. Spring cleaning isn't just about sorting through things and getting rid of clutter. It's about taking stock of who you are and how others see you. It's a chance to redefine yourself, to change expectations. And to remember that it's never too late to recapture who you were. Or to aim for who you want to be. Take a seat. Where have you been? I was just out looking at the stars. You were stargazing... every night this week. How about the truth now. I've been sneaking out. Obviously. Why? To try things. Such as? Um... I've been testing myself. Getting stronger and faster. I know I shouldn't let people see me, and that's why I do it at night. I - I don't know what to say. I expected that it would take you longer to get comfortable living here before we were ready. We? I have big plans for you, Jessi. And I need you to be as strong and as smart as you can possibly be. How do we start? Well, first thing's first. You need to get some sleep. We'll talk about it further in the morning. Okay. LISTEN WHO IS THIS Amanda. What happened? Did your mother change her mind? No. I didn't get on the plane. Can you hide me? Come in. -You're so slow! -Who's slow? It's really nice in here, isn't it? This is really what I want to do. On the anniversary of the day we first met. -Wait, what are you looking for? -Wait, don't move too much. Wait! -Wait, wait a second! Wait! -What are you looking for? . Where could it be? Here, here, here, here! Is this what you're looking for? . Hey, wait! Wait! Can you see that tree? . It's been there since I was young. You know, whatever storm comes, whatever kind of earthquake, It's still standing. Joy, I promise you. That tree is as strong as my love for you. If you can't answer now, it's okay. I'll wait. It's okay. Just tell me anytime, I just wanted to give it to you now just in case... No. No? I can't wait to tell you yes, I'll marry you. Load it 300 okay? . Thank you! -Just there in the other block. -I'll ask permission first. -Hello, Grandma! -That's why be good my dear, okay? But of course Grandma, I'm being a good girl! -You can even ask sister... -You're such a joker! Hello Grandma, of course I should still be your prettiest and your favorite granddaughter! Oh my, my granddaughter is really clever. So how are you my dear? What made you call? Well, there's something I'd like to ask your permission for. I'm getting married. Really? Is it to your boyfriend who's a doctor? . Yes Grandma, to Migs! Our wedding will be on June 1 0. -Oh my I'm excited! -You know what Grandma? I love Migs so much. And I know he'll take care of me. Come on, my dear. He's also lucky because of you. About what? You know, the go-getters. Then feature your Auntie Isabel. -She's a breast cancer survivor. -That's right. And guess what she's doing now? -She's good! -That will do. -Why don't you feature your mom instead? -Oh, never mind. Dad wait, how many years have you been with mommy? Is it 29? Ara, is it 29? That's sweet! You know what? I wish me and Joy are just like that too. Wait a second. -Oh, are you going to tell us something? -Yes, of course! Why won't I? . Dad, wait. It's like this, actually... She said... Brother. -You've been together for just 1 year, right? -Yes! So what? Are you sure about your decision? . This is really all I want in my life. Of course, my son. Congratulations my dear! Dad, you really have a good taste. Another one? Well Dad, I really want me and Joy to be just like you. It was so sudden. Just come home, please? You're his first love, you know. He only met that Joy because you left for Canada. Please Bela, just come home please? . I really don't want Joy to be my sister-in-law! She's not on the same level with my brother. Come on Ara, you've already pre-judged the person. But it's true! I'm right, am I not? Right? I'll just get back at you. Oh my, will you fix that quickly? Make it fast, come on! -Hey here! -Come on! -What is it? -Hey hey hey! Why weren't you here last Monday? -She's right. -Doc Migs treat us pancit. Ouch! -I just did something important. -Important? Where did you go? . You had a date with Doc Migs, didn't you? . -Hey, what's happening to you? -Are you okay? . Wait, I think I know it. -Doc Migs proposed to you? . -Yes! And...she accepted my proposal. -No more backing out, okay? -But she already said yes! I'll fetch you after your shift. Make it fast, okay? . Wait, wait wait. -Tell us how he proposed! -Yes! Come on! Wow it's so beautiful! -Leonie, put my stuff in my car okay? . -Yes, Sir. How are you? I see, you finally saw each other! How are you? The last time we e-mailed each other, you said you have a boyfriend, it's Ryan, isn't it? We've broken up. I heard you're getting married in three months? . Why? Don't you love me anymore? But it's different now. Before, when you left me... I thought my world was about to end. You know what? . I can see it in your eyes that you're happy. You'll come to our wedding, okay? . If I didn't go to Canada, If you didn't leave? . -Where could Mrs. Castro's room be? -Are you okay there? My gosh! -Why? . Are you okay? -That operation took so long! My head ached because of it, wait. -We had a hard time, good thing we finished it. -Oh, is that so? -How are you feeling? -I'm okay, I lost my headache. -Are you sure? . -Especially now that I saw you. Let's go. Come on! -I have a surprise for you. -Really? . -What is it? . -I'll introduce you to my childhood best friend. -But why will I meet her just now? -Because she came from Canada, she just arrived. -Make sure she's just your best friend okay? -Yes! Come on! What? You know, Migs and I have been playing together since we're 2 years old. As a matter of fact, he's my first boyfriend! How old was I when I answered you? -Around 1 6, right? -What 1 6? Around 1 5 and three fourths! -Come on. -So you've been a couple. Yes! We're childhood sweethearts, right? I'm sorry, I thought Migs told you. No, it's okay! I was just surprised because he never mentioned that to me. Haven't I told you about it? You know, why don't you guys tell me how you met? Oh! It's like this. We were together in the hospital, she's a nurse there. There it is! Hence the uniform! Then it's okay that you're together! Are you okay, Joy? . Are you okay? . I just got tired earlier. Would you like me to take you home? . That is if it's okay with you, Bela. Don't worry about me. Come on, I'll take you home. Bela is beautiful, isn't she? Yes. Yes, and she's kind. She's really kind. Don't tell me you're jealous. Not really but I just didn't know she was your ex. Come on Joy! Joy, Joy... Listen to me. Listen... Don't ever think about her, okay? She's gone. She's past, as in already erased. It's gone. And you... You are my present and my future. It's only you. Is that okay? -What? Want to go inside? -No, I still have duty tomorrow. -Are you sure? . -I might lack sleep. Go ahead. Kiss me. Say "please" first. It's beautiful. Every day, I can see... It feels like heaven because I'm with you In every new day -I always wish... -Sit beside me. that you're just there with me in life. -I wish you'll truly love me. -You're so beautiful You brought colors to my world. Is it okay? . -Sis! Let's take a picture! -Sure! Come here! -Let's take a picture. -Make sure it's focused, okay? . Yeah right, excuse me. Why weren't you here a while ago? Sorry I forgot! Oh, Doc! Did you know that-- Oh Sis! You're still prettier! Right? . Oh my! They've been together for a very long time, right? . When do you think is she coming back? -Wait a second. -Oh sure! -Just a minute. -Oh my, the foods are delicious! You should've tried everything! When it gets cold it won't be as tasty anymore. You like that, right? . Oh my! I'm really excited for you. You two can now make a family! Oh, don't mind me! I didn't see you in the church a while ago. It's just, I looked for you. -My wife is so beautiful. -You're really such a joker. -But it's not that. -Here you go again. -Oh come on! -Really! So Joy... Where are we? So, does it mean you're the only one who has surprises for me? . Is that okay? Is that okay? . Is that okay? -It's beautiful! -I told you! You know? I'm really lucky you became my husband. Really? Well now is the start of our new life. Oh come on! You're so handsome! And you... You're the fairest of them all! Promise me that it'll only be me. You're the only one I will love. Promise me that you won't leave me. I'll always be here by your side. You're my life, Migs. I love you, Joy. Here, I've already prepared it because I knew you were coming. -Nice. -There you go. Is it nice? . Thank you. -Hey Migs! Your change! -Buy load instead! Thank you Migs! -Joy! Stay here first. -What happened? -We'll take care of that. -Migs, wake up! It's too low. -Why did you come inside? -Alex please! I'm his wife, I have to be here! -We'll take care of Migs. -His blood pressure? Just stay here, we'll take care of this. We still can't be sure of the extent of the damage but he's still lucky he didn't get a fracture in the skull. -Doc, when is he waking up? -There's a lot of possible outcomes. But I promise... Whatever happens to him, I'll still take care of him. Is there anyone looking for me? . No one. But I already found the man I love in the whole world. How's Migs? He hasn't waken up yet. I'm sure he will wake up. Aren't you going to visit again? . You know, I'm not supposed to be there. My son! My son! Brother! Come here. Come. How are you feeling? Come, one more. There's Joy. Who are you? . I'm your wife. I'm Joy. I don't know her. Migs, I'm your wife. -What? . Wife? . -Migs, you had an accident after our wedding. What wedding? What accident? -Migs look at this, look! -What? . What is this? . -lm your wife! -What is that? -Brother! -What? -Brother! -What now? . What? Bela, what's this? What's happening here? . What wife are you talking about? Who's that girl? Will you tell her to go away? Wait, wait! -Just relax, don't stress yourself! -Bela, what? Hey! What is happening here? Enough! That's enough! If he doesn't remember you Joy, It only means... that his lost of memory is centered on the times you were together. Is that why he can't remember me? . How long will this amnesia last? . Will he get his memory back? . We can never tell right now, there are instances when the memories come back after a few weeks or months. But in some cases, the memory doesn't come back anymore. But how is that? I'm his wife. Treat him like your patient. I'll be out later. Come on, let's go there. How are you feeling Migs? . How are you feeling Migs? . Who exactly are you? . I'm Joy. I'm your wife. I don't remember anything. There are so many things I can't remember. Son? . Mom, what's happening? . Joy, can I talk to Migs for a while? . It's okay. Why are you saying she's my wife? . I don't even know her. I know it's hard for you to believe. But this is true. Joy is your wife. You love her so much. Your memory will come back soon. But for the meantime, we're just here for you. Recognize Joy. So you will remember her. ...as her husband. Adel, is this serious? . You had a speedy recovery Migs. Just a little more therapy... But expect some disorientation... That's just a part of your recovery process. As of now sir, we just have to wait. We can't tell when his memory will come back. What we can advise is, don't let him get too stressed. But Doc, what do we have to do? Those he can remember. Why don't you and Migs stay over at our place for now? . In his room. Because he might get more confused if you lived there in your new house. We'll just go home. I'm his wife. I'll take care of him until his memory returns. -But Joy... -I can take care of him. This is our house! This is your gift for me on our wedding. You know, we have a privacy here. It's near my workplace so I can check up on you during my break. Raya also promised that she'll look after you when I'm on duty. Migs, you're my husband. I will serve you. I'll do everything for your memory to come back. Migs, I need you. I want to go home. When are you taking me home? You don't have to do this. I'm your wife. I love you so much, Migs. It'll just worsen the situation. He thinks you are his girlfriend. Ara, I'm scared. But I'm scared of giving my whole heart again. Knowing that one day, his memory will come back. Joy is his wife. But you're the one he loves right now. I badly want to love him even if I know it's wrong. But it's hard to get hurt. Will you get my bag please? It really has a different appeal. Daddy's so proud of her because... So that's why you dad was in a Hummer when I saw him in Toronto. What are you doing there? . It's work. I have an exhibit to stage for my client next week. Hello sis, how are you? I'll go to your house later, okay? . Sis, are you okay? . They really are close to each other. Who? Migs and Bela. I'm not used to seeing them like that. Sis, be strong. Fight for Migs. You know, show Migs why he fell in love with you. I just find it so hard every time he sees me but he doesn't remember me. But I can't make it obvious. I have to hide it. -It hurts so bad. -Sis, you can do that. I have to carry on. I'll show him why he loved me. Take a bath. You know, this is where we had our second date. And you always take something home for Raya and Mrs. Robles. That's why Raya loves you so much because you always bring her food. -It's because you keep bribing her. -Is that so? . -Who were you talking to? -It's Ara. Later... I'll go to our house, I'll just get something. -Do you want me to go with you? . -No. I'll go alone, I'll go alone. -No, I'll go with you. -No, I'll go by myself. I'll go. No, I also have to get something. The recipe, so I can cook for you. I'll go with you? . Fine, it's up to you. And tomorrow's your birthday! You're already 28 years old! What would you like me to cook for you? It's up to you. -No! Just tell me, I'll cook it for you. -Anything. What? Anything you want. Sorry, I can't come later. Joy said she's coming with me. Okay then. I'll find a way. I really need to see you. Yes...okay. I'll just call you. Yes. Who were you talking to? You heard it right? I was talking to mommy, I just asked how she's doing. -Are you sure? . -Yes, I'm sure. Why do you ask like that? -Then give me your phone. -Wait! -Give me your phone! -No! -Give me your phone I'll just look at it! -Wait! What's the matter? . -Give that to me! Give it! -Joy! Wait! Wait! What? Are you going insane? . What's happening to you? I said there's nothing! Can you see this? Look! You've been calling Bela! She's my friend! Is it wrong to talk to her? . Is it wrong to call her? No, right? . Yes, it's a friend! Yes, it's Bela! -But it's different! -No! Is it wrong? . -I called her because she's my friend! -Because Bela is your ex! I don't care! What does it have to do with this? Remember this, you can't leave the house -if I'm not with you. -What did you say? . I'm not leaving? . That's not going to happen! What? Are you smothering me now? . Is that it? -Is that what you want to happen? . -No. I'll make sure you're not cheating on me That's why wherever you will go, you'll have to bring me along! If you want to know, fine! If you're always like that... -Why? What are you going to do? . -I'm really going to leave you! -Give that to me! Give it! -What the-- Oh my! It's so hot outside! And these things I bought are so heavy! Sis? Sis, why? What happened? . Why am I being like this? What's the matter? . Come here. Don't cry sis, it doesn't look good on you. Because of my jealousy, because of my suspicions, I'm turning into something else. If I keep on being like this, Migs wouldn't like me. Come on Sis, you know you're not really like that, right? . I'm already choking Migs. I've smothered him so much, You know, it's like this Sis don't put him on a leash. He has to be with you because he loves you. Right? Come on! Brother Migs! Happy Birthday! By the way, my sister left your cell phone. She told me to give it to you. Wait a second okay? . Brother! -Who's that girl? -I'm your wife! Bela, what's this? What's happening here? What are you talking about? . Brother Migs! If you're always like that, -Why? What are you going to do? . -I will really leave you! ...as her husband. Brother! Brother! Oh no... Where are we going, sir? Do you know the way to Makati? I'm lost. I don't know... I don't know how to go. Bring me there. Don't you have a car? . I'm Pacio by the way. You're the one who cured my wife. But she's doing fine now. But I really ran after him, sis. I have searched almost the whole block but I really didn't see him anymore. You chased him? . Then why didn't' you reach him? What if something bad happens to him? Okay, change your clothes now okay? . -I'm sorry sister. -It's okay now. Why are you soaked in rain? Will you change your clothes! They said Migs is not in their house. I also called Ara but he isn't there either. Where could he be? I don't want to think he's with Bela. You should've told me you were coming. I could've prepared for your birthday. What really happened to you? And then you'll come here drenched in the rain. I don't know. I was disoriented. I can't remember, I didn't know where I live. That's why I went to your house. -It's good you didn't get lost-- -Bela, I really wanted to be with you. Wait, wait! You have to go home. -Joy might be looking for you. -I don't give a damn about Joy. What if he's not with Bela? . And he was picked on in the streets? And something bad happened to him that I don't know. Sis, sister, just go to sleep. Do you know that's what I wanted to hear from you when I came back from Canada? But you chose Joy. And you got married. I know. But I'm not happy with her. I'm happy with you. It's important for me to make his heart remember what his mind forgot. But what matters the most to me is if he's safe. Don't! Go ahead, Migs. Take care. It's already morning. Sorry, I got lost. I even prepared food for you. I'm sorry. I couldn't understand what happened. What? You went to Bela? . Go ahead and explain your lies. I'll make believe that nothing happened between the two of you. I'd still listen! Are we going to fight again? . What, do you want me to be pleased? . Don't I have the right to ask where you've been? That Bela is really unbelievable. Because if I am the mistress, I would think of the wife waiting for you. There. Answer it! And I want you to answer it in front of me. Here! Are you happy now? . Didn't you tell me that Bela is kind? Maybe she's using her kindness to steal you from me. Or you're just acting blind to the truth that we're husband and wife! And the way to Bela is the only thing I remember. Can't you understand that? I don't want to understand it because I'm so tired of you, Migs. Well, I'm tired too. I can't take it anymore. One more chance? I will change. If I would keep you hoping, you'll get hurt even more. Migs, I need you. I'm begging you. -I'm here for you now. -What are you doing here? . This is wrong. -Wrong! -Wrong? . What's wrong? What's wrong? My heart and mind says you're the one I love. You're the one my heart is screaming out. But what if, what if your memory comes back? How? What if the accident really happened so I can come back to you? . I don't want to get hurt again. Don't be scared. Don't be scared. What did she say? . Hello, this is Joy. We have to talk. I know Migs is with you. He voluntarily came back to me. Bela, the only person who lost a memory is Migs. Not you. Don't take advantage of him, Give him back to me. If you're thinking that I'm a mistress now, If you're thinking that I'm a mistress now, you got it wrong. You're probably forgetting... I'm the first love... He's happy with me. If he ever forgot you, it's not my fault. Maybe that was destined to happen. I'm begging you. You already have everything. Give him back to me. You're wrong. I waited for so long to be with him. I can't give him back to you. It's Migs' medicines. I know you don't want me for Migs. It's not that I don't like you for my brother. I just really got used to him and Bela. Just tell Mommy and Daddy that Migs and I need some space. I'm begging you. Take good care of Migs. Your patient has fallen asleep from waiting for you! I think she wants you to tell stories. Joy, April and I will just do the rounds. -We'll go ahead! -Bye! -Come on! -Let's go! Bring Sandra back to her room first. Why? Is there a problem? I'm pregnant. I had my check up with Dr. Gamboa. It's already 7 weeks old. I'm having such a hard time. Your husband will come back to you! So stop crying now. Stop crying. When his memory comes back, who else will he come home to? What if his memory doesn't come back? Whatever pain was caused by your relationship with Migs, it also has beautiful memories. And most of all, stop pleading or begging on that Bela. Her conscience will haunt her more if you have no connection. Do you still love Migs? . Yes. I love Migs so much. You have to wait for him to get better. Migs, stop it! Come on! -Why? I used to do that. -No. Oh! Wait, I forgot something. -I'll come back. -Okay then. What? You want a ripe mango? Come on! I'm in the mall! Yes sis. Okay, bye! How's Joy? . Why are you looking for her? What do you want to hear? . That she's okay? . And she's not looking for you? You two have incredibly think faces. Don't you ever mess with my sister again. I saw Migs yesterday. He even asked how you're doing. What did you say? . Of course I nagged him! Oh my! He was even with that Bela! After what he did to you? . I can't believe his guts! Sis, what I did was right, wasn't it? Sis, is it really like that when you're pregnant? You're not just craving for the food. You're also craving for the place where you want to eat! My gosh. And you know, this place is too far! Even taxis can't get here anymore. Sis, if you only told me we're going here, I should've worn rubber shoes and pants! To think I gave too much effort. Sis? Sis, are you okay? . Do you know that Migs proposed to me in front of that tree? He told me, however strong that tree is, that's how strong his love for me is. That's why I want to see that tree. As long as that tree is right there, I won't lose hope. Everything will be alright, Sis. How many copies to you want me to buy? . -What? How many letters? . -What's that? Five! Five! Five! He's pestering me! Yes, okay! I'll call you later, wait! Hey! You're such a pest! Give me that! Hey! Give that to me! I'm going with them. I love you. But I want to experience life in Canada. You know that long distance relationships are hard. See you later. [phone rings] All right. So? How'd you get on? What, totally empty? I tried. I'll drive myself. I've got a nice new car there. See you in a bit. Make it look good, eh? I already have, Jimmy. I already have. [# Candi Staton: Young Hearts Run Free] # What's the sense in sharing this one and only life # Ending up just another lost and lonely wife? # You count up the years and they will be filled with tears # Love only breaks up to start over again # You'll get the babies but you won't have your man # While he is busy loving every woman that he can # Say I wanna leave a thousand times a day # It's easier said than done when you just can't break away # When you just can't break away # Young hearts, run free # Never be hung up Hung up like my man and me # My man and me # Young hearts, to yourself be true # Don't be no fool when love really don't love you # Don't love you # It's high time now Just one crack at life # Who wants to live it in trouble and strife? # My mind must be free to learn all I can about me # I'm gonna love me for the rest of my days... So you've had a good day? You? So-so. # Say I'm gonna turn loose a thousand times a day # But how can I turn loose when I just can't break away? # When I just can't break away # Young hearts, run free # You'll never be hung up Hung up like my man and me # You and me # Young hearts... Got something for you. # Don't be no fool when love really don't love you # Don't love you # Young hearts, run free # You'll never be hung up Hung up like my man and me... Take care. # Young hearts, to yourself be true # Don't be no fool when love really don't love you # Don't love you # Young hearts, run free # You'll never be hung up Hung up like my man and me # [# Feeder: We Are The People] # What do you say? # What do you think about miracles? # Miracles are something you dream about # We're looking for a new way out # Slipping away # Losing all sense of reality # Sacrifice, love and democracy # We burn it all down # Cos all our lives # We're waiting for something new # Waiting for someone like you # We are the people # Who let this whole thing go # Just like the people you know # We are the reason # We're blinded by the goal # We are the people, you know # Burning away, light in the sky # So you can bring us home # Further, further down an open road # We've torn it all down # Why do we pray? # Why do we talk about angels? # Flying with their golden wings # We've burned it all down # Cos all our lives # We're waiting for something new # Waiting for someone like you # We are the people # Who let this whole thing go # Just like the people you know # We are the reason # We're blinded by the goal # We are the people, you know # Step it up, step it up Step it up again # Step it up, step it up Step it up again # Step it up, step it up Step it up again # Step it up, step it up Step it up again # We can be silenced, we can be brave # We can be broken, all can be saved # It's the rest of our lives It's the rest of our lives # It's the rest of our lives # One # We are one # We are one # We are family # One # We are one # We are one # We are family # Subtitles by LeapinLar Hello, hockey fans! Welcome to tonight's game. It should be a real barn burner! Charlestown, 1978. We should have lost hope when the steel mill closed down, but that was the year our beloved Chiefs won the Federal Cup, led by the infamous Hanson Brothers. Their aggressive style of hockey brought passion to the team, hope to the town. Metropolis had its Superman, Gotham City had its Batman, and Charlestown had the Hansons. And like everyone, though, eventually, they disappeared. Bounced, bolted, vanished, deep-sixed. But this, my friend, is the story of how they were found again, resurrected and transformed, together with a group of ragtag orphans. It was their task to defend Charlestown against a heinous villain like none other. A real estate developer, a devil in a black pantsuit who hornswoggled me out of my own town. Her name, Bernie Frazier. Well, 30 years later and your vision has finally come true, Mayor Kenneth. This wasn't my vision. Another done deal, done right. - Go ahead. - You got it. Out with the old, in with the new. I love the smell of progress in the morning. Come by and see me tonight, I'll have more good news for you. This splotch of grime will soon be a gleaming suburb with strip malls on every corner. We'll call it Frazierville or Bernietown. Sounds lovely, ma'am. Come on, boys, let's go. Let's go. Come on, get up there. Get on your homework, okay. All right, group A, you guys are on dinner, group B, you're on... - My man. - Out of here. Bumpy ride on the short bus? What's up, buddy? You're on bathrooms. Get out of here. - Let's go! - Hey, what's up, man? You're on garbage. Group B you're on dishes. - Last one in the house does my laundry. - All right, let's go! - Halt! Tweaker, get back here! - Man. All right, empty your pockets and keep your hands where I can see them. Empty your pockets. Sneak in more candy, you do dishes all month. Clear? Get out of here. Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four! Somebody get the little dudes a snack and no hockey till I get home from work. Your lover boy is here. You better put that down before you hurt somebody. You better come and take it from me. Okay. How was that? Little high, a little wide. Like you could do better, Zamboni-boy. Not in that butt-ugly uniform, I couldn't. Did you get Hello Kitty to sponsor you? - L'll just get Dad to fire you. - No way, your dad loves me. Besides, you like to stare at my butt when I'm working. - That's disgusting. - Is not. I wash it every day. Are you okay? Okay. Mess. This lot is 40 acres. The owners were old time hockey players, the meanest goons to ever tie on skates. Let's see how scary they really are. Welcome to Zenovation, one-stop shop for mind, body and soul. How may we help you, our sisters? Love the robes, fellows. I'm Bernie Frazier with Frazier Realty. I'm here to talk to you about your land. May I come in? - Not interested. - Bad karma. Nice wheels. Okay, it seems the gooneys have gone loony. Put them on my to-destroy list. Go! Go! You cannot score on me. That's what I'm talking about, baby! - Looks official. - Code red. Battle stations! - Move! Move! Move! - Hurry, Henri! Hurry up! - We're so screwed. - Who wanted kitchen duty? Tweaker did. - Whose is this, come on? - Don't look at me. We're so dead. - Go! Go! - Clean up! Clean up! Let's go! - Come on, guys, hurry up. - All right... Quiet. Ms Davis with Child and Family Services. This is an inspection. Riley Haskell, senior resident. I'd like to see Mr Webb, please. He's actually indisposed at the moment. I'd be happy to show you around. Right. Please follow me. - Go, go, go! Quick, come on. - Move. - Grab these ones, too. - What are they doing in here? Riley said I can't keep it up in my room any more. - You can't keep it in the freaking kitchen. - This is our common area. And as you can see, we keep a very tight cleaning schedule here at the house. We also like to focus on and stress education, music... Hot soup coming through! The kitchen, where we provide a well-balanced diet. They're his pets. Rescue rats. Tweaker grew up in the basement of a candy store before coming here. - They were his only friends. - Take me to Mr Webb. Hey, clean the crumbs off the floor. They're very clean for rats. Hi, I'm Randy Webb, home director. I see you've met Furry and Scurry. Wonderful, lovely creatures, I assure you. This is not good, Mr Webb. Not good at all. Come on, over here. - Did you get what I needed? - You betcha, Ms Frazier. Excellent. Two season tickets, third row, centre as promised. - I'm open. - Come on. Move it around. - Watch out. Watch out. - Hit my blocker. Hit my blocker. Can't feel it. Okay, put some mustard on this one. Yeah, right. Come on, man, keep it going. Let's do it, man. Ten bucks for the first one who gets one past my glove. L'll make it 50. Put that puck in the net, or we'll be here all night. I am not pleased. Cross! Cross! Move, move! Nice save, my darling. Come in. Mr Mayor, thanks for driving over. Never miss a practise. Have you heard? Newman failed a surprise inspection today. This report should sway public opinion and clear the way for my purchase of the land. What about the boys? Well, I love kids just as much as anyone, but... Excuse me. Do I need to install tampon dispensers in the locker room, ladies? Hit someone. But there are... But there are better homes for those boys, elsewhere. This is win-win. Good for the orphans, good for Charlestown. That Newman Home, it's as old as our city. Old being the key word. Your town is a rotten relic. Now, you can be seen as the man who finally helped save it, or be blamed for standing in the way of progress. Rest assured, there will be progress. Why don't we have a meeting of the council before you leave town? - Good idea. - Super. - Good night, Your Majesty. - Bye-bye. Elbow to the head. Elbow to the head! Show some bite, Hounds. I'm warning you. Do not make me come down there. Do you know that golf is the world's number one vacation sport? The average course provides hundreds of jobs. And a pro-tour stop could mean millions of dollars in revenue for Charlestown's businesses. A vote for Frazier Point is a vote for the future. And it's good for the poor little orphans, too. Can't wait to move into a good home, Ms Bernie. - That's right, Tommy. - It's Timmy. Timmy. Frazier Point is a hole-in-one for all of us. That lady's not going to take us away from here, is she? You see these? See these? Nothing gets by me, okay? All right, off to bed. It's late. Smells like a giant jock strap. Maybe 30 years ago it would've been fine. Oh, my Lord. Okay listen, honey, try not to touch anything or breathe deeply. There he is. Should have worn a hazmat suit. Those are some extremely nice skates for rentals. We don't open till 10:00. You're Shayne Baker, right? Girl's league MVP? I hear you're pretty good. What do you say, maybe sometime, you and me, we could go scrimmage. I am good for girl's league. Maybe you should just go scrimmage yourself. Okay. It's a very generous offer! More than this place is worth. This ice has decades of history for the town. I'm not going to just sell it off because you wanna put some office building here. Well, actually, I was thinking more of a boutique mall and day-spa. Rick, history only matters if people care, and no one does around here any more. This town belongs to me. And one way or another this ancient scrap heap you call an ice rink will be mine, too. So think about my offer. Let's go, Kain. Stay away from her. - Now, Kain! - All right. Well, Dad? - I said no. - Me, too. Where's Riley? Let's be honest with each other. Charlestown needs a makeover. It's time to look toward the future, folks. And the first step toward that future is the Frazier Point Golf Community Country Club and Spa. Two hundred luxurious new homes! - Thirty-six holes and... - Twenty-five orphans without a home. Who let him in? Anyone? He works for me. I thought he should hear what you have planned for his home. - Of course. - By all means, please continue. Yes, do. To survive hard times like these, we all have to make sacrifices. Those making the biggest sacrifices are the boys at Newman. But we could use a Wii in every room, or some new dirt bikes, or even a year's supply of Lucky Charms, but other than that we're fine, thanks. Is that so? Hope, the report please. Rats in the soup pot. Girlie magazines. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. My dream is simple, folks. I want to help the orphans and create a new Charlestown full of life, energy and growth potential. Help us? By destroying the only family we've ever known? By shipping us off to dangerous big-city homes where kids have tattoos, piercings, and, God forbid, Facebook? City Council, ask yourselves this. Is a round of golf really worth an orphan's happiness? You done? Go home. Did I mention my development will double your property value? Nice try, kiddo. - Hey. - Hey. Dad told me about the home. That woman gives me the creeps. She's like Darth Vader with lipstick. She is with the dark side. Clever we must be to defeat her. Oh, God. Okay. So as was just clearly evidenced, your relative maturity level is about half mine most days. But seriously, if I have to say, "No, we're just friends," one more time, I'm gonna totally drug you and dry shave your entire body. - Wow! - Okay, maybe just your arms and legs. Did you just ask me out? Okay, look, my dad is going to a Flyers game on Saturday. So, you know, he'll be gone most of the night. You should come over. Okay. But I'm bringing Band-Aids and aloe vera just in case. - Okay. - Okay. Later. - Not sure we'll be able to stop the... - Pass the sugar. I know women. - You already have too many shirts. - Serious? Whatever, dude. Nice. So, I went to the big meeting. In two months the town will vote whether or not to close us down. Now, that will give people time to think. - What if they vote, "Yes?" - I don't know. Look, what's with you guys? Don't you remember who we are? Sonny Newman founded this home before there ever was a Charlestown. His dog Dexter saved the entire city from the great flood of 1938 with one proud woof. The amazing Hanson brothers, whose ferocious might and legendary skill won the Federal Cup for this town in 1977. They lived in this very house when they were boys just like us. Gentlemen, we are the Hanson brothers. We are the children of the great Sonny Newman. We are the princes of Charlestown, and we will never be forgotten! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Double dessert for everybody! - Yes! Except for you! Time was, we never had a free skate on a Saturday. Everybody'd be playing hockey. I'm talking from toddlers to old guys like me. Good or bad, it didn't matter. People loved it. When the Chiefs won the title in '77... I won a couple of banners myself playing junior in the '80s. - You know what they used to call me? - What's that? - Fireball Rick. - Are you serious? We got to do something quick, or Bernie's going to roll right across that river and wipe us off the map. - You want to save your home? - Of course. People love an underdog. Maybe we can give them something to believe in again. - Are you gonna do it? - I'm not gonna tell him. Come on, dude, I told him last time. - Here he comes. - We're next anyway. - All right, guys, listen up. - Bring it in. Here's my plan. We work in their businesses. We get good grades. We stay out of trouble, mostly. But that's not enough, no. We have to make this town love us again, men. Remind them what we're made out of. We have to become champions if we want to win that vote. - So we're joining the junior league. - Join? What does he... We'll take down the Hounds, win over this town and save our home. Little enthusiasm here, guys? Well, I mean... Where are the little dudes? That CFS lady came and got them. She says they've been fostered. Sorry. As a mother, Dickie, I simply could not abide the thought of these tiny youngsters living in such awful conditions. So while the good people of Charlestown decide the fate of the decrepit Newman Home, they will reside with me until a more permanent situation arises. Real estate developer Bernie Frazier on fostering three boys from the Newman Home... We'll get them back. We'll save the home and we'll get them back, I promise. Everybody off to practise. Hustle up, let's go. Practise time. L'll get the sticks. Dumped in a Dairy Queen bathroom at age five, Alex Gorrall was a kid without a home. A kid without a future. But now this unlikely hero has one shot to win the cup. And he's done it! Gorrall has won the cup. Give it up for A-train, people! Nice shot, Dairy Queen. Dude, this is my private time. Yeah, well, the Newman Home knows no secrets, you know that. Yeah, sorry about the little dudes, man, I did all that I could. Hey, it's not your fault, okay? Look, I called CFS. Bernie requested no visitors, so we can't even go see them. I promised lan he'd be safe. Well, all we can do now is try and get them back. Wow, at least someone's excited about my plan. So, how are we doing on money? Let's take a look. From our jobs we have $500. That's not counting food and utilities. Well, Mr B's giving us free ice-time. We still need the entry fees and gear. You're gonna have to get me an Easton Stealth Pro Stick, I'd be like... I'd be like Harry Potter on his Nimbus 2000, bro, unstoppable. Well, I guess we better find a sponsor then. Tomorrow we make proposals to our bosses and every business in town, okay? - Deal. - Cool. Later, Dairy Queen. There he is. Hey there, pal, I'm Mark, the mayor's VP of PR. How are you? Rocking, dude. Look, I was actually really hoping to speak with the mayor. Yes. Sorry, that's not going to happen. He is on a vision quest, listening to the flowers with Shaman Maria somewhere near Machu Picchu. And he's not going to be back for a couple of months, if he even survives at all. Crazy old codger's got a bit of a death wish if you ask me. Anywho, you gang are looking for a sponsor, am I right, for your little orphan hockey team? Which is super, it's great. We love the kids without the parents. Love it. Here's the sitch, though, we already sponsor a bowling team. Yes. Tenpin, kind of awesome. Tell you what I can do, though. How about a box of Charlestown snow globes for you and the guys, all right? Enjoy those and, hey, thanks for stopping by. Bowling team? Support for closing the home is up 36% since you fostered the baby orphans. And your approval ratings jumped a total of 50%. God, I love the power of good PR. Keep those little brats in the basement till after the vote. I don't even want to smell them. And watch out for boogers and spit-up. Hey. - Hey. - Any luck with the sponsor, hunt? Nobody's made a donation since Sonny Newman was alive. Check this out, bro. They're back in town. Been here a while I guess. They came into the copy shop to design this for some kind of business that they run. But get this. Back in 2002, they won the lottery. Brought back the Chiefs for one season and then became these big time poker players. - So are you thinking... - They lived here. They played hockey. They got lots of cash. So when the Chiefs folded, we took our lottery money and we went gambling. Roulette, dice, poker, Vegas, Atlantic City. We were high rollers. But it was an empty life, you know. Babes, booze, bar fights. Our wives left us, took our kids. You guys have kids? - Yeah, we got three of them. - Yeah, one each. Yeah, the judge said we weren't good role models. Said we have to find peace and balance. That night during wrestling, I saw a TV ad for Peace and Balance. - So we bought a franchise. - Zenovation. - So how's business? - Sucks. - Real bad. - Not one stinking customer. We had some really great times living at the old Newman Home, until we got pro contracts and our mom made us move back in with her. Here's the thing. We've got a plan to save our home, but we need a sponsor. And who better than three glorious hockey heroes from Charlestown's past? - Good idea. - Smart kid. Who were you thinking of? You guys. - You'd sponsor us? - I don't know. Hockey's pretty violent. We gave that up with the bar fights and the gambling. Not our path. Look, it'd be great advertising. We'll be travelling all over the state, playing a new style of hockey. Just think. Zenovation on ice. Come on get it, boys. Here you are. Look at the pads! - Here we go. - All right. You get one of these. There you go, guys. There you go. Goalie! Goalie! Good save. Nice catch. Hey, my name isn't goalie, you know. It's Henri. Those are your pads. Here you go, two! Zen is peace, clarity, focus. Empty your minds of all distractions. Don't think, just be. What if I have to think about not thinking? - Shut up. - I have that same problem. - Hey. - Sorry. When you're passing the puck, you're sharing your soul. You're saying, "Here, I trust you with this precious and rare gift, my brother." - Nice. - Don't be angry with the puck. Release the energy. - Slow. - Nice. Like that. Nice and easy. - Release through the body. - Be one with the universe. - Nice. - Beautiful. Love that. Wow! You work much here or... - Condiment art. - Condiment art? Lt's very popular in Taiwan. I sell them on eBay. Made $50 once. Really? Well, I've got $50 that says you can't get one past me out there. What do you say? Ls that a yes? You know, I've got the lowest goals against in Pennsylvania history, right? Wow! That's really funny because I've scored the most in Pennsylvania history. Yeah, but for girls. Come on. Combined. All right. Let's go. And this. Let's go. Give it to me. Come on! Let's go. Come on, you got better than that. Let's go, you're the MVP girl. Oh, man. I could get you in a game. You just need to be distracted. Trust me, watching you shoot in that shirt is distracting enough. So? Ls this feng shui hockey for real? We got gear, uniforms and our fees paid. And they can run the practises, but we'll still play the games my way. - So lots of skating and no scoring? - That is harsh. You open with the Hounds, Saturday. Drop the Zen crap. Control the blue line and put me on the roster. Then you'll have a shot. And did I mention that Kain Frazier and I scrimmaged together at the rink? He's good. It's date night. Riley and Shayne sitting on the couch... Just drop it guys. Look, I'm staying home, all right? You totally have to go, man. Baker's goofy, but she's hot. I don't know, man. Like, if Tweaker gets in that candy, man, he's like a werewolf at full moon. Okay, give some credit to A-train and Big Daddy Precious. We could take care of this house. No worries. - Just one thing in return. - Details. K-l-S-S-l-N-G - Hey, entrez vous. - Here. I hand-picked them from Precious' flower garden. Thanks. - So, I made pizza. - Boogers and butt cheese? Greasy, grimy gopher guts. Mutilated monkey meat. - Dirty dirty birdie feet. - Dirty dirty birdie feet. - French fried eye balls dipped in kerosene - French fried eye balls dipped in kerosene - I didn't have a spoon, I had a straw - I didn't have a spoon, I had a straw No, it's tofu, pepperoni, organic goat cheese and cream spinach sauce. Yummy. All right, guys. Winner takes all, a week without chores. Prepare to meet your doom, boys. Not tonight, French Fries. This game is mine. You know why the Flyers suck? Lt all comes down to Lindros. What a waste. Sucked us dry and left us for dead. So, you gonna kiss me tonight or what? - Pair of nines. - Pair of trois. Triple aces, boys. I win again. - Tweaker! - Tweaker! You know I really like you, right? So you'd have to like gnaw on my lip for this to totally suck. I guess it's not like in the movies where kisses magically happen at exactly the right moment. Just like the formation of rainbows. Wow. Can you imagine if I told other people that you actually said that? - It could be your dad. - I'm in the shower. - There's a thought. - Easy, pilgrim. - It could be the guys. - You gave them my number? What? I made pizza and we were gonna have purple cows after we kissed. Look, I'll make it up to you. I'm sorry. A teenager has his right to get his mac on, Riley Haskell. It's the law. - Where's Mr Webb? - He's sick. Look, I gotta go. I'm really sorry. The pizza was really good. Jerk. And Precious, make sure you do that thing I told you to do. - I made a mess. - Henri, help me out. You grab the other side. Yeah, we'll just lift this up. - Man, I got this. Grab that. - You got it? - That's better. - Where is he? Ate the whole box. - He OD'd on Ding Dongs. - Oh, God. - You okay? - We didn't have a choice, man. - It was for his own good. - He'll be fine by game time. Dickie Dunn Jr. Here with Dickie Dunn III bringing you another exciting season of junior league hockey action. And this year's first battle is a real David and Goliath matchup. Yeah, Dad. If David were a Chihuahua, that'd be more like it. Yes, that's true, D-III. It's the defending champ Ice Hounds versus Newman's upstart orphan team calling themselves the Zenovators. All right, guys, let's do this. All right, guys. I know this isn't exactly how we'd want it, but if we don't help ourselves, nobody else will. I don't remember life before I came to Newman's, some of you might. But right now all we've got is these ugly uniforms and each other. And that's what we're fighting for. The little dudes, our home, our family. And this town is gonna see that, and they're gonna love us, and worship us, and buy us cake and chocolate and candy. So let's go pound the Hounds! - Balance. Inner peace. Focus. - Share your souls. You guys aren't coming with us? There's only so much we can teach you, son. Plus, we want to save our big entrance for after the game. They're retiring our jerseys. - All there is left is inspiration of another. - Yeah. Words of a hero. A hockey hero. - Doug Gilmour. - Doug Gilmour. No way. No matter what anybody else says, no matter what anybody else thinks, you play the hockey like you're born to play. True to the game, true to yourselves. Come on, guys. Let's go, come on. We can hear our voices echoing throughout this depressingly vacant arena as the Newman boys are led out by... Can you believe it? That's NHL star, Doug Gilmour. And they all seem to be wearing bathrobes of some sort. Look, better than wearing nothing at all. In my half season as player and one day as announcer, no, I've never seen anything like this. Even though your playing career was cut short by an irrational fear of having your throat stuffed with vulcanized rubber, I'm proud of you all the same, Son. - Welcome to the booth. - Glad to be here. And here they are now, the three-time defending champ Ice Hounds, led by their MVP Kain "Stonewall" Frazier. Yes, his Hounds look to easily devour these Zenovators today, much in the same way his mother hopes to destroy their home. No one stands in the way of Binghamton folks, on the ice or otherwise. And the Ice Hounds look every bit the monstrous machine that has dominated the region for many seasons. Mon Dieu, those guys are bigger than you are? Maybe they'll win. It'll be like a miracle on ice. It'll be a miracle if they make it off the ice. We keep it loose, we have fun, we play it Newman style, all right? We're gonna win this one for the home, guys. Let's do it. - You guys shouldn't be out here. - You guys shouldn't be on steroids. And we're underway. Binghamton's star scorer, Janislav, controls the puck. Here he comes up the aisle. He did not make the Zen defender. He's driving on goal all by himself. He shoots. The Hounds have scored at five seconds in. That must be some kind of a record. The orphans need a fatter goalie. Now, some crisp passing by the Zenovators. Gorrall shoots and denied by Frazier. Who's your daddy? Oh, no, you don't have one, do you? - What? - Hey! And now some fisticuffs. A good old donnybrook. And it's a massacre folks. It's just like the time you got your butt kicked by my piano teacher. Nope, this is definitely worse than that. Much worse. That goal light needs a new battery, and ref's arms are getting tired as the Hounds just keep pouring it on. Goal! Tremendous tactics, terrific teamwork, and a vastly superior genetic makeup giving Binghamton the edge today. And that, mercifully, is the end of the game. And by the looks of it, the end of the Zenovators. - All right. - Zen's a journey, it's not a sprint. It's a journey, stay with it. It's gonna get better. Come on, stay with it. So much for sharing our souls. Ladies and gentlemen, if I can draw what's left of your attention, at the end of the arena, you'll see three famous jerseys, number 16, 17, and 18, the Hansons. Jack, Steve, and Jeff. There they go, they're being retired. Let's give them a big hand. Ladies and gentlemen, the Hanson brothers. Hello, Charlestown. Thank you for your support and retiring our old jerseys. - But we're not here to talk about hockey. - What do you mean? Lt's just a dumb game where you bleed a lot, and a total waste of time. Get off the ice! And so, right now, you all should be meditating on your inner chi. Our message is about peace, love and universal harmony. Loser! And about finding balance and cosmic energy through Zenovation. - Open up your minds to a new reality. - Losers! - Screw harmony and peace. - And that chi stuff. This is just too easy. - Thank you, sir. - Thank you very much. Appreciate it. And the pictures of the kids, your family, nice people. Hey, mind if I wear this? You got any tickets to the policemen ball? Well, guys, you ready? Okay. - We're back. - We're back. What happened yesterday was our fault. - Un-American. - Un-Pennsylvanian. - Un-Charlestownonian. - Un-Hansonian. This town needs a good punch in the nose. - A kick in the teeth. - A jab in the spleen. Bernie's hitting us below the belt. Fellas, we're here to show you how to help fight back. - And we have reinforcements. - Guys, come on in. These are our boys. Dit. - Gordi. - And Toe. Guys, time to put on a foil. Play some old-time hockey, like Eddie Shore. - Dit Clapper. - And Toe Blake. - And Gordie Howe. - Gordie. - You all right, goalkeep? - Riley, you okay? Hell, no. Look here, you okay? - Yeah. - You sure? Great! Good! Get him again! This is how you get the jersey over your opponent's head. Today, if they have the balls to show up, the Newman boys face the much-hated Scranton Night Hawks. Two-time runners up for the Hounds, the Hawks are reloaded and they are as tough as they got. Holy smoke, the Newman team takes to the ice in a manner that can only be termed tremendously tacky. They have donned the sacred shrouds of the Chiefs. This is a sacrilege. Yeah, tacky like that time when you got sloshed on communion wine. Well, yes, exactly like that. 0-1, same old butt-whopping. It is clear these Newman boys are decidedly doing disservice to the lasting legacy of the Chiefs. Hey, Riley, I think it's time. Toe, Dit, Gordi, let's do it! Okay, boys, make your daddies proud. Talk about their family ties, sports fans. It appears the offspring of the Hanson brothers are making their first appearance as part of this ragtag team. - Hey there, good game. - I'm gonna hat-trick you twice. Good luck with that. Oh, yes, cross-checking, boarding, slashing, spearing. That certainly brings back the memories. Questionable sportsmanship aside, these Chiefs have certainly been reinvigorated with new blood on the ice. And after the first formal foray of these junior Hansons, - you have to ask yourself... - Is that nature or nurture? ...ADD or DNA? Good job, good job, good job. He sent in the goon squad. They have gone from Zenovators to headhunters in less than a week. Yeah, it's truly inspiring, Dad. Sure do have a lot of spirit. What they need is liability insurance. And in a scene that is strangely familiar, three Hansons are populating the penalty box, forcing their fellow Chiefs to face a difficult five on three penalty kill. A true test of their orphan grit. - Thank you. - Nice save. In a strange first period move, the angry Night Hawks seem to be trying to make the Chiefs pay by pulling their goaltender to make it six on three. That's something you don't see every day. And he's their last uninjured player to boot. ...goes down to block the shot, and Alex Gorrall tosses the puck. He flips it in the air and splits the two defenders. What an amazing move! He's rocketing down the ice towards the empty net. He's beat the desperate defence. He's spins around, he scores. Led by emerging phenom Alex Gorrall, it seems these boys may be worthy to call themselves Chiefs after all. Way to go, guys! No mercy! People actually cheered for us. - How about the Hansons? - Yeah, the Hansons. Killed them. Didn't see them put one in the net. Hey, I looked for you after the game. What game? All I saw was a wrestling match. Got to give people what they want. Put butts in seats, win the vote. Yeah? Well, keep playing that way, you won't be seeing this butt in the seats any more. Interesting style of play. Had to let them know we meant business, sir. That's how it was when I was a boy. Hard-nosed hockey. I admire you, kid. I do. But if all this is about the vote on your home, I don't see much hope in hockey changing their minds. What if I told you we already changed one? A big one. It seems these boys have been inspired by rumours that Mayor David Kenneth plans to support their petition to save the Newman Home when he returns from his vision quest in Peru, if he ever returns at all. Man, that's awesome. I can't believe this! I want names. Good newsman never reveals his sources. There isn't a good newsman within 50 miles of here. I'm just trying to capture the spirit of the thing, Bernie. Is it true? Well, no, no, no, no, hang on a tick. Our office was not contacted for this story and the mayor is unreachable. But why would somebody lie about this? I hate those little orphans. Off the record, of course. With the key vote only weeks away, Bernie Frazier today responded to rumours that Mayor David Kenneth may oppose her Newman measure. Well, Dickie, the mayor and I are good friends. He personally assured me of his support before he left town. Clearly, someone is lying. - Harold! I didn't understand what you said. - What the fuck are you doing? - What the fuck are you doing, man? - You're ruining my shot. - You what? Get off my set! I'm so confused. What's... - What's going on? - Harold, I'm doing a photo shoot. For H/gh T/mes magazine. Of course, you're a model. You're very hot. You're a model. Right. I always wondered what you did for a living. I'm sorry. So, wait a second. So you're not with this dude? Are you kidding? Me? - Yeah. - No. Anton is like totally gay. Harold, what are you doing here? I didn't want to wait ten days to see you... so I thought I would come and surprise you. That is so sweet. OK. It's sweet. I've been thinking about you this whole time. - You have? - I have. - I missed you so much. - I missed you. Fuck yeah, dude. Bang bang, Roldy. Hello, Maria. My name is Kumar. - I've heard so much about you. - Hi. This is Vanessa. Vanessa, Maria. - Hey. - Hey. How you doing? Ladies and Roldy, how would you like to get really fucking high... since we're in Amsterdam? - Yeah. - Shall we? - Sounds like a plan. - Let's do it. Motherfucker! I see trees of green Red roses too I see them bloom For me and you And I think to myself What a wonderful world I see skies of blue And clouds of white The bright blessed day The dark sacred night And I think to myself What a wonderful world Yes I think to myself What a wonderful Yes, dude! What the fuck? What the fuck? What are you doing? I'm taking the most incredible dump of all time, man. You couldn't wait till I got out of the shower? May I remind you that we both just ate 30 burgers... and four large orders of fries? Don't worry, in a little bit, I'm sure it'll hit you too. It may be. But I'm gonna wait till you get out of the shower. Well, don't wait too long. We've got to leave for the airport in an hour. Ooh, that burns. - An hour? - Hey, and, Roldy? Yeah? Nice pubes. Ooh wee Ooh wee When I step into the party all the ladies wanna know I'm hangin' with the ballers, yeah, or my nigga Ghost I can tell you what they say, haters, if you wanna know They say ooh wee When I'm rollin' my Mercedes all the ladies wanna roll Be my Juliet and I can be your Romeo If you actin' menace I can pick another ho Ooh wee, ooh wee - Ooh wee - La, la, la, la, la, la-la In the middle of the summer, or even 20 below I'm a bad motherfucker I'm way too fuckin' cold Let me tell you what they say when I'm pullin' off my drawers They say ooh wee - Ooh wee - La, la, la, la, la, la-la Ooh wee Aiyo, aiyo My game's here to party just to cut up a rug Don't make me have to cut up a thug Now play something for me, DJ, 'cause there's nothin' but love Hosted by the ladies who looking' for somethin' to rub Ooh wee Dude. Oh, my Go-- I just realized something. What? Maria's gonna think I'm a stalker, man. I'm following her to Amsterdam. Dude, relax. I have a med school interview in ten minutes. You don't see me freaking out. Don't worry, man, she'll be psyched to see you. Oh, psyched? You think she's gonna be psyched? Totes, dude. Why wouldn't she be? So how does this work? We just--we show up in Amsterdam and we start calling hotels... and ask if they have a Maria staying there? - I don't even know her last name. - Dude, it's totally cool. We're definitely gonna find her. Amsterdam is a very small place. It's not gonna be-- Sir, I need you to step aside, please. Let me search you. - Did I beep? - No, you didn't beep. Just a random security check. If you could just step aside, please? Just over here. - Random, huh? - Yeah. So this has nothing to do with my ethnicity? Kumar, just do what the guy says. Sir, it's our job as airport security... to search for all possible weapons or illegal drugs. So just because of the colour of my skin, you assume that I have drugs on me? - No, he's-- - What are you, a racist? Racist? Dude, I'm black. He's black. He's not a racist. Please, dude, you're barely even brown. No, he didn't mean that. Compared to me, you look like Matthew Perry. Hey, who you calling Matthew Perry, bitch? I'm calling you Matthew Perry, you Matthew Perry-Iooking bitch! No, there's nobody here who is Matthew Perry. No one! What is going on here? Sir, Matthew Perry over here thinks that I have illegal narcotics on me... because I'm a minority. This is textbook racial profiling... and I'd be more than happy to call the ACLU or the government-- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry for the inconvenience, sir. - You can move along. - I appreciate it. Thanks, Matt Perry. Why does everything have to become a huge argument with you, man? 'Cause this is America, dude... and as long as I have my freedom of speech, no one's gonna shut me up. Kumar? Roldy? - Vanessa. - Oh, my God! - Good to see you. - So good to see you. l-- - Hi. Hey. - Hey. Hey. God, it's been forever. What are you guys doing? We're actually on our way to Amsterdam. - Amsterdam? - Yeah. Well, you guys haven't changed. You have. You look amazing. Your hair is diff-- - Doesn't she look amazing? - Yeah. Yeah, you look great. You look awesome. Sorry. What am I even saying? You look different and-- - Kumar Patel, you're flustered. - Little bit. So, what's up with you? You still dating the Abercrombie-wearing douchebag? Actually, it's Brooks Brothers. Colton! How are you, buddy? - Good to see ya. - Good to see you. And we're not dating anymore. No. We...are getting married. Congratulations, you guys. - You're fucking getting married? - Yeah. - When? - Next week. It's going to be a perfect day. I mean, that's assuming we get those Stargazer lilies for the bouquets. This florist has been a complete nightmare. Fucking assholes. Colton's practically planning the whole wedding all by himself. So, Rold, Brewster Keegan letting you off the leash for a little vay-cay? I own that place now, Colton. Thank you so much for the hook-up. Hey, I ran into Todd, at Whitaker's, of course. He told me you got a job working for the government. Yeah! Yeah, President Bush and my dad were in the same fraternity. - Oh, that's right. - Oh, Jesus. Yeah, yeah, when he gave my dad that appointment at the Defense Department... - I became his right-hand man. - Douche. The President's supposed to be at our wedding... - but you know how busy he is. - Yeah. Sounds like an incredible job, man. Hey, you really got some major connections to the top. If you ever need anything, I'm your man. - Thank you so much, buddy. - Anytime. This guy's the best. - So, sweetheart, we should get going. - Yes. - Good to see you guys again. - Congratulations again. - Thank you. Take care, thank you. - It's so nice. - Bye. - Bye. Dude, I can't believe they're getting married. We've only been broken up two years. I'm sorry, bro. But we are going to Amsterdam. Come on. This is true. This is true, Roldy. Ooh wee - Man, this is so not like me. - Yeah. It's like I'm a whole new Harold. Better, faster, stronger. Nice. Man, I've never used a sick day before. I'm taking a whole week off from work here, man. And in less than eight hours, we're gonna be in Amsterdam. - This is nuts. This is nuts. - I know, dude. It's gonna be exactly like Euro Trip, only it's not gonna suck. - It's gonna be awesome. - It's not not gonna be awesome. Dude. Dude, this chick's giving me such a boner, it's awesome. Thank you. You ruined the moment. She's all yours, buddy. - You wanna pause it? - I'm gonna go to the bathroom. No, that's-- Enjoy. Just a minute. Fuc-- Hey, hey. Let me in. What are you doing? I'm taking a piss, asshole! - Yeah. - Yo! I'm not joining the mile-high club with you. What about the really high club? - Are you retarded? - No. You brought weed on the fucking airplane? - Yep. - What the fuck? Wait a second. You were giving that security guard shit. Yeah. How else was I supposed to get past him? By not bringing drugs on an airplane? - Look--What are you doing? What is this? - You'll see. Harold Lee, I would like to introduce you to an invention of mine. Meet the smokeless bong. - You made this? - You know, I did. When you were slaving away at work... I was actually being a productive member of society. - Yeah, that's really productive. - Let me show you how it works. So you take a little weed... put it in the bowl right here and light it just like a normal bong, OK? Now here's the truly genius part. Inside this mechanism, I have actually made a little tiny, tiny fan... and some disinfectant powder, OK, it works sort of like a deodorizer... so that anything it expunges smells like Lysol. - Put it away. - No, dude. Can you not wait till we get to Amsterdam? It's the weed capital of the world! - No. - Put the bong away! - Take the inaugural hit, dude. - No! Come on, man. - Then I'm gonna do it. - Put it away. Put the frickin' bong away. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Turb-- Terrorist! Roldy? - What the fuck is that thing in his hands? - No, ma'am, not a terrorist. - He's just an idiot. - This is just a bong. He said he got a bomb! No, people, it's a water pipe for tobacco. No, no, no, it's not a bomb. It's just a bong. Poison gas! It's marijuana! Marijuana! You picked the wrong plane, you terrorist fuck! Hey! Hey, what are you doing? There are three air marshals on board. Three! We are not terrorists! Sir, that's a bong, not a bomb. Shut up! I got this one! - Roldy? - Please don't! I am in a great amount of pain, sir! Everybody relax. Just calm down. Everything is under control. Tell 'em to turn the plane around. These two assholes are goin' back to the U.S. Secretary Fox. Glad you could make it. Think I'd miss a terrorist attack of this magnitude? Not a fuckin' chance. Who are these people? Representatives of the different intelligence agencies. I assume Secretary Whitmore's coming? Negative. He's on an ice fishing trip in Glacier Bay. I'm in charge while he's gone. Well, shouldn't he be alerted? Isn't this issue of more importance than an ice fishing trip? Who are you again? Dr. John Beecher, Vice Chairman of the NSA. Yeah, well, listen, Dr... Dipshit. You've obviously never been ice fishing before. - No, I haven't. - Yeah, well, it's fucking exhilarating. The last thing anyone would want while fishing for pike is to be interrupted. Now back off... and let me do my job. What's up with the guy with the weird eyes? He handicapped or something? We believe he's of Korean descent. My God. North Korea and al-Qaeda workin' together. This is bigger than I thought. You couldn't wait? You couldn't fucking wait? We were about to have all the legal weed we wanted. You know, in Amsterdam, where we were going! Thought you could get away with this, huh? You thought that after 9/11 our national security was a joke, huh? Well... guess what? What? We knew you fuckers would be back. - Holy shit! - But we're Americans, man. - We love America. We love America! - Very much. That's a convenient thing to say... after you try and blow up a plane filled with Americans! - No. - No, we didn't do-- No, you see, you have the wrong idea. My idiot friend here brought marijuana... - on the plane. - Yeah, hey, hey, hey, hey. Zip it, Hello Kitty. OK? I know your operation's funded through drugs. No. This is typical government bullshit, sir. l-- - Hey, hey, hey. Shut up. Shut up! - l-- - No, I'm trying to explain it! Harold! - Shut up, shut up, shut up! Shut up! Do we have the right to make a phone call? Yeah. Yeah! I'm sorry. You want rights now. You want freedoms right now. Is it time? Is it freedom o'clock? - Guess what. - What? Where you guys are going, they have never even heard of rights. Well, where are we going? We're innocent men! We're innocent men! I'm an innocent man. I donate blood. And toys for tots. And now I'm in Guantánamo Bay. See why I'm against paying taxes? Hey! Hey. Fuck you! Dude, calm down, OK? Look on the bright side. There's a sink. There's a toilet. The pillow actually looks pretty comfortable. OK. You don't speak to me, ever. - Ever. - OK. - No! Shut up! - OK. So what are you guys in here for? For giving the United States a taste of their own medicine. - You guys are real terrorists? - Some call us terrorists. Others call us heroes. Screw that. You think you guys are heroes for killing innocent people? It's 'cause of assholes like you that we're even in this fucking place... you fucking cowards! Well, maybe if the people in your country stopped eating donuts... and started realizing what your government is doing to the world... assholes like us wouldn't exist. - Fuck you! Donuts are awesome! - They're delicious. You like donuts? Well, wait till you see what they make you eat in here. - Yeah? - What do they make you eat in here? l-- Ever hear of a cockmeat sandwich? What's a cockmeat sandwich? You're about to find out. Right about now. Suckers. All right, cockmeat sandwich time. You know the drill. What about them? They just got here! Big Bob's taking care of them. - Big Bob. - Big Bob? I hope you like donuts. Let's go to work. Hey, listen, guys, enjoy. Holy shit. - This is not good. - No, Kumar, it is not good. - I've never had to suck a dick before. - Me neither. I bet it sucks dick. Shit, dude. Please don't let it be Big Bob. Please don't let it be Big Bob. Please don't let it be Big Bob. Come on. Please don't let it be Big Bob. Please don't let it be Big Bob. Please don't let it be Big Bob. - Please don't let it be Big Bob. - Hi. I'm Big Bob. - Fuck. - Yes, you are. You boys ready for your cockmeat sandwich? No? Well, you better get hungry real fast... 'cause I got a whole lot of sandwich waitin' for ya. Holy shit! - All right, let's get goin'. - Hold on, hold on, hold on, Big Bob... I got to ask you a question before this all goes down. - All the guards in Guantánamo are gay? - Fuck, no! Ain't nothing gay about getting your dick sucked! You're the ones that's gay for sucking' my dick! - What? - In fact... creeps me out just bein' around you fags. - But-- - All right. - Wait-- - Get down on your knees... - and open your mouths. - Please, Big Bob. Why don't you just kick our ass instead? - Get on your fucking knees! - All right. All right. - All right, all right, all right, all right. - You go first, dude. Jesus, Kumar. I hate you so much! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. God, his dick smells like shit, dude. Holy shit! - What the hell happened? - That terrorist fuck bit my dick! - Come on. - Wait, wait, wait, wait a second! Should we? What if they kill us out there? They're gonna fucking make us suck their dicks if we don't. We're gonna die in here. Come on. - Fuck. Fuck. - Shit. No, shit. - Shit. Shit. - Fuck. Fuck. - Shit. Shit. - Fuck. Fuck. - Oh, shit! Get out! - Come on! Shit! Go. Go. Look, look, look. What the fuck is he doing? We've got to go now, now, now, now, now! It smells like burnt asshole. I can't fucking believe this. Fuck! My wrist is swelling, man! - Shut up. - We're gonna die in a jungle! - Shut up! - Fuck! Watch out for cheetahs! This is cheetah turf. - What? - OK. Fuck. We hit ocean. What do we do now? All right. Hey, look, look! Excuse me. You guys going to America? Sí, vamos. Yes, we're going. Thank you. - Es mío. - Vamos, vamos. I'm telling you, Jorge... the first thing you have to do when you get to America... buy a device called TiVo, OK? Freedom means nothing if you're a slave to regular programming... I promise you that. And now, how about you focus? We gotta figure out what to do when we get to the States. We don't have wallets. We don't have any ID. We've got nothing. Well, I figure we're gonna land somewhere around Miami, right? There's only one guy we know who lives down there. - Who do we know that--Raza. - Yeah. We gotta go see Raza. - Adiós. - Hasta luego. - Thanks again. - What nice people. Man, South Florida here we are. OK. So, now how do we get to Raza's? The professional way. We walk. Let's go. - Walk? - Yeah. So I guess Raza's-- - We'll find it, we'll find it. - ...thataway. Yeah. Dale así, papi Tócame Ay Papi Ay Papi Ay - Wow, Raza's place is pretty sweet. - Kinda ghetto for Miami. Para abajo Toca, toca, toca, toca, toca - Hi. - Hey. Y'all aren't here to complain about the noise, are you? No. We're not... here to complain about the noise. We're-- We are here to see-- - What is his name? We're here-- - Vagina. No, we're here to see Raza. OK. Follow me. Thank you, ma'am. We'll follow...you, I guess. Ba-dunk, ba-dunk, ba-dunk She got it, she got it She got it, she got it - Hey, guys. - Hey. - Hey, Raza! - What? What's up? - Kumar and Roldy? - What's up, man? I haven't seen you guys since graduation. What are you guys doing here? Wait, what's up with the orange jumpsuits? - Hey, no, no, question number one-- - It's kind of a long story. l- ...what's up with this party? - What do you mean? There's exposed vagina all over your house. Yeah. That was my idea. I don't know about you guys, I'm sick of all the hype over topless. Really? I always liked toplessness. That's-- - That's just me. - Yeah? Well, I'm starting... the bottomless trend. Hence, the bottomless party. So what are you guys doing in South Beach? How about you answer that question? I'm gonna go check this out. - Where are you going? - Bang bang, buddy. Listen. I'm really sorry to bother you with this. - You all right? - Not really. They were locked up for less than an hour, and they already escaped? Damn it. Make sure the press doesn't get wind of this. Don't need the public thinking we're some two-bit operation. Got it, sir. It must have been either al-Qaeda or North Korea who broke 'em up. Find out if they have any relatives in the country. You probably should have done that in the first place. Do you have a problem with the way I'm running the show, Beecher? I'm just saying that... I've looked through the files on Harold Lee and Kumar Patel. They were both born and raised in New Jersey. Other than a couple of traffic tickets, they're clean. Right. That's why they just broke out of prison. But they--It's not even clear that they should have been there in the first place. Shut your-- You see this cute, little white girl, Beecher? Yeah. Do you want her to get raped and murdered? Of course not. You sure? 'Cause this is America. - Do you want to rape America? - No. Then stop fucking with me. This is serious. She's adorable. So you guys are fucking fugitives? It's just it's Kumar's fault. If we get out of this... the chances of us remaining friends is highly... highly--boobies. Yeah. Hey, what do you think you're doing? Put that back on. And keep it on. - Sorry. - Fuckin' party do you think this is? Yo. What are you guys talking about? Roldy was just letting me in on your situation. - Yeah? - Thanks for getting me involved. What about that fuckin' time we had to cover for you... lie to your ex-girlfriend about how you got crabs? You owe us, man. - Yeah, that's right. - What? - OK, that was a long time ago. - I love crabs. Speaking of ex-girlfriends... isn't yours getting married or something? How does everybody know about this except for me? Wait. Colton! Colton Graham can help us out. - No! Fuck that! - Yes! No doubt. If anyone could clear your names, it's him. No, I'm sorry. That dickweed is not helping us. Wait a second. Do you have his contact info? Not anymore. But the wedding is at his family's estate in Hewitt, Texas. But you don't want to bother them when they're doing their whole... wedding thing, right? You know, that actually might be our only hope. Fuck! How do we get there? We can't go to the airport. They're looking for us. - I'll loan you one of my cars. - Really? But first...y'all got to get in the spirit of the party. - What do you mean, spirit of-- - What do you think I mean? - What about you? - Me? I've been in the spirit. - Oh, God! - Oh, my God, dude! Oh, my God! - Love your dickdo, Raza. - Yeah. Drink it in. - What the fuck? - That looks like Osama bin Laden's beard. I know, right? All right, boys. Your turn. Let 'em dangle. - Let's just do it. - Bring it. Count of three? One. Two, three. You guys are awesome, man! That's not even necessary. - Would you please-- - Oh, my dick! My dick cost a late-night fee Your dick got the HIV My dick plays on the double feature screen Your dick went straight to DVD My dick bigger than a bridge Your dick look like a little kid's My dick large like the Chargers, the whole team Your shit look like you 14 My dick locked in a cage, right Your dick suffer from stage fright My dick so hot it's stolen Your dick look like Gary Coleman My dick pink and big - This car is frickin' sweet. - Yeah, yeah, it's sweet. 'Cause we're fugitives. Driving a yellow convertible with the top down, dressed like assholes! Yo. Yo. Yo, look, he has one of these things. - Would you put that down? - No, you can hook up to the Internet. You can play Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! on it. King Hippo's going down. Put that away. Put that away. I can't believe you can even think about playing games at a time like this, man. You realize what would happen if our parents found out about this? You have sent our sons to Guantánamo Bay? This is an outrage! You Arabs think you can just mix in with our peaceful society... and we're not gonna find you, huh? I am not Arab! I am Indian! Look, Chief. I'm not here to argue seblantics with you, OK? I'm here to save lives. Ask the Lees what they know about their son's terrorist activity. Look, we have been American citizens for over 40 years. Now, frankly, I find this very offensive. They're using some sort of dialect I've never heard before. But I'm pretty sure he said something about going on the offensive. Tell them we know what their son is up to... and if they don't cooperate, he could be sentenced to death. Hit 'em. Yeah. We know what he said! Sir, Harold and Kumar are good boys. He's supposed to be in medical school. They are supposed to be in prison! That is where terrorists belong! These fuckers are goin' down. Dead. Or alive. Tell them that in your fake ching-chong language. Shut up! You're an idiot. I don't know what you're saying, buddy... but fuck you. - Fuck me? - Will you let him talk to you like that? - Listen, no, sit down. - Fuck me? Hey, look, man, we're in Alabama. Wow, we actually get a first-hand look at the South, huh? Hey, this wasn't supposed to be a trip through the South, OK? This was supposed to be the most romantic week of my life. Remember that? Before you fucked it up? You remember that? Just chill, OK? We'll be out of this situation. You'll be up in Maria's guts in no time, all right? Hey. She's not some skank, man. I've never felt this way about anyone before, really. What the fuck? Why am I talking to you about this? It's not like you would understand, so-- I want to be happy I want to be happy, just like-- Excuse me, please. Will you turn that off? This is a library. What a fucking chode. - What the fuck? ! - Oh, my God. You know, the whole reason people come to the stacks... is for some peace and... quiet. Look, I know, I'm sorry. I hate it when people disturb me here too. It's just this fucking calculus final is killing me. - Do you mind if I take a look? - No. - You're actually very close. May I? - Yeah. Excuse me. I touched your breast. - It's OK. - Sorry. You just go-- Wow. You're good at this. Thanks. What did you, like, take calculus in high school or something? Actually, my dad taught it to me in sixth grade. What, are you like Doogie Howser? No. Although that would be incredible. He's my hero. I love that show. What are you working on there? This is just a poem for my creative writing class. It's like- "The Square Root Of Three"? - No, no, I'm sorry- "A poem of love by Kumar Patel." - I need this. - Hey, let me read it. - No, no. - Why? - Because it's lame. Then read it to me. There's no way I'm letting you see me in that light. Good luck with your calculus. Come on, don't be embarrassed. You know, a lot of girls find intelligence sexy. Look, I'm not even gonna be showing this to my professor, all right? That's why I'm so stressed out right now. Stressed out, huh? Come with me. - ...going? - Come on. What? You're smoking drugs in the library? What if somebody catches us? Don't worry. It'll help you relax. Oh, boy. It's illegal. I want your fish right by me That's how it has to be Here. --Copacetic if you let it so set up And keep the downstream down and the upstream up This is poison. My stoney, my baby Let me help you. Funk the groovin' thang whistlin' As I rip my rhymes Time and time again struttin' and in the summertime So screw it, strip down and be generic Strip down and be a passenger Strip down and be a messenger In asking' why I'm born I come up blank in the winter In asking' why I'm born I come up on when I'm on her - It's time to find the kind - My summer, his summer I'm Kumar. Vanessa. You're still not reading that poem. And then I kiss my stoney baby My stoney, my stoney My stoney baby My stoney My stoney baby Kumar. My stoney baby Kumar. Kumar. Kumar. - Kumar. - Yeah. What's going on? We're in Birmingham, Alabama. Are we supposed to be here? What's going on? - Why did you bring us here, dude? - What do you mean, why did l-- You were supposed to be following the directions, asshole. What do you mean? There's got to be like a highway or something, right? Yeah, there's got to be a highway. What's going on up there? Squad up My niggas I see some pussy-ass niggas, so what the fuck-- What the hell is this? We knock these niggas out I see some pussy-ass niggas, so what the fuck you wanna do? - I'm turning around. - Nah, just go through, man. Dude, we're not driving through this basketball game. You know, Roldy, I really thought you were bigger than this. Dude, I'm not scared 'cause they're black. I'm scared because they're scary. And it's not like we got Gregory Hines out there. They're not that scary. It's my ball! Turn around. Rob this motherfucker, drop his punk ass in a ditch Drag this pussy nigga, slap his ass up like a bitch My niggas is my niggas 'cause my niggas-- - Fuck! It won't move! - Shit, dude. Shoot him dead between his lips I see some pussy-- - That's not good. - Now there's no music, man. Shit, man. - Motherfucker! - My Jordans, nigga! - Shit, this isn't good. - This is not good. This is not good. No. No. No. They're coming over here. - Fucking shit. Why did you do that? - Yeah, I hit a fire hydrant on purpose. They're getting weapons, man. All right, what do we do? What do we do? Run, run, run. Run, run. The men are still very jumpy. A night on the grog will straighten them out. Nature calls. What do you think? I think they started the party without us. Who are you? You do realize you only have one shot. Which means you'll only be able to kill one of us. And that whoever you do not shoot will have to cut your throat before the other hits the ground. Ready? Let the show begin. Stand your ground. Stand your ground! Stand your ground! Gather around me here! Captain Taylor. Mr. Crusoe. I thought you'd forgotten us. Are you going to be leading us? I'll leave that to you. Right. I need to help a friend, but I'll be back. Lancaster. Unshackle the men. Come on, let's go. Get up, Velasquez. The prisoners are out! Arm yourselves, you drunken sots! They're in disarray. Let's have at them! Fire! Fire. Reload! No! No, wait! Hold your fire. One more shot and I kill her. Papa! Lower your weapons. We have lost. Not just yet. Back to your mother. Lock 'em up! A night away to bury my brother and what do I come back to? Taylor and his officers got out. It's in the nature of captives to want to escape. It's the jailer's job to stop 'em. They had help. Obviously. The lash will loosen their tongues. Put 'em onboard the ship. Won't find it so easy to launch an escape from there. No! You take 'em! And you stay with them till I send for you! Excuse me. I got hit over the head by two men over there. Shut up! You lad. Come here. Mr. Atkins obviously needs all the help he can get. So you go with him. What will happen to the women? You leave the women here. It'll give Captain Taylor something to consider if he tries to plan another escape. And what are you gonna do about those two men? What I always do to people who try and cross me. We have to get those women to safety. Come on. Who are you? Bless you. Don't be afraid. He's a friend. I need you to take them to the tree house. But he's a savage. Far from it, madam. He's my best friend and he's your salvation. And where are you going? I've got to find a way onto that boat. You'll be fine. Come on and get this boat out to sea, you lazy lots! All right, all right. You'll be kissing the gunner's daughter before too long. Get her out to sea while the tide's still with us. One, two, heave! Come on, boys! One, two, heave! One, two, heave! Secure the camp. I've got a score to settle. We have all had our fill of Jacob Moore. So I'm seizing the ship and taking command. Stow the prisoners below. Prepare to set sail. You're abandoning Moore? That I am. Weigh anchor! Up sheets! Hands to the jeers! Aye, Captain. Stow the prisoners. Let's get clear of this godforsaken place. Let's go! Come on. We need to drink. Please. Make it quick. What are you doing? It will keep you cool. We are being pursued. Let us go. Now! You're going to leave us here? I could make my life a lot easier and return you to Jacob Moore. If you would prefer. Soon as we clear the rocks, move the main sail! Give her everything she can carry! This ship's mine now. Not if I have anything to say about it. Get him! Take the wheel, boy! This one's for me. You fight like a man with a lot to lose. Well, I have nothing to lose. Which makes me far more dangerous. First blood, I think. So, the evil island spirit. You going to attack me with a stick, are you? I have a very, very unfair advantage. Oh? Well, we'll just see about that. Die! Hold the wheel steady, boy! While I finish him off. You see? I have been living the outdoor life. Fresh air, plenty of exercise and nutritious food. You... You have been cooped up at sea, eating nothing but broth and dry biscuits. Aye, but I still have the beating of a savage in me. Especially one that cost me so much. I do not think so. You can't defeat us all. Last blood to me as well. You haven't shed it yet. Now who's on their back? What the hell is going on? Get your scurvy asses back down below. You have to go now. Go. Go. Keep your gun on them all. Where'd he go? He fell overboard. He'll do well to survive with that wound he has. Then good riddance. Well, at least they're stuck here a while longer while they fix our ship. I don't think Atkins and his men will travel too far into the jungle anymore. Today, the battle may have been lost. But the war is far from over. Have faith, my friend. We will get you home. Come. Ripped By mstoll You just fell for the oldest trick in the book! And what book is that? How to defeat the boastful warrior in one easy move. Well, then, you had better press home the advantage before it is too late. But you're weaponless and flat on your back. Really? That makes it 3 hits to me. And to you... uh, none. Who's that? Jacob, it's hotter than hell in here, and full of stinging things. You're my brother, nolan. But any more griping from ya and I'll put you out of your misery. Understood? Oh, fresh water. We should be heading farther inland. And if I wanted your opinion, captain taylor, I'd have asked for it. I'll have you hanged for this, moore. Not if I put a hole through your skull first you won'T. Jacob, he's a valuable hostage. Do you seriously propose to throw away an asset like the captain? Take him back to the beach! You're asking me? If you're so pleased. This way. Mutineers. Friday, that's an english ship. That means escape. But it commandeered by mutineers. What if the captain and his crew were reinstated? That is a very big "if" under these circumstances. The crew is circled. The captain is wounded and the mutineers are at least 25 strong. What are those? Where? There. Womenfolk. Must be the captain's wife and daughter. Your womenfolk are shaped like bells. No wonder you went to sea. Then we have to know that the captain would be on our side before we try anything. Come on! No stopping! Push it! Push it! No brandy! But-- but the pain! Maybe you'd better let your little brazilian butcher boy do it. You remove it, my boy. I can't work runder these circumstances. Forgive me. Well, community? Tonight we stuff ourselves and drink captain taylor's brandy! Here. Thank you. Save your strength. You're going to need it. Captain taylor! My name's crusoe. Where'd you come from? I'm a castaway on this island, but I'm here to help you. - Are you alone? - No. There's more than one of you? Just. You're an optimist. If I help you regain command of your ship, I need your word that you'll take my companion and myself off this island with you when you set sail. You have it, sir. Jacob moore, the leader of the mutineers, is as desperate a black heart as ever lived. A few of the men follow him through allegiance, the rest obey him simply through fear. I'm working on a plan. Until I come back, you stay here. I will return. Good, sir. Is this an old cannibal trick? One time, we had a warning of an attack. We had the entire village like this. When the raiders came, we jumped up and chased them back to the beach. But there was one small problem. You couldn't find the village again. Have I told you the story before? Now, remember, just remove the leader. Jacob moore. If we take him, we gain a significant advantage. There! - Get after it! - All right! What witchcraft is this? What are ya? Nolan! Atkins! Come help me! Help me! Help me! Help me! Where are ya, ya dog? Now, what have we here? You're a demon... come to trap me! No, it's us! Will, nolan! It--it was here. What was? A net! - A net? - A net, aye! It caught me in a net! It tried to capture me. What did? A spirit! It tried to kill me, it did, yeah. But I'm not so easily dispatched. Oh no! Where are ya, then? Come on, man! I'm here! And I'm ready for ya this time! I overestimated the net. Or underestimated the man. A locksmith showed me this once. He had a workshop next to my warehouse. Why is it called a skeleton key? Because it's thin. I don't know. Killing jacob moore will not have solved anything. No? One of his men would have taken his place. Well, that depends. The leader of a mutiny has to terrify the crew more than the prospect of a hanging. Well, if you ask me, crusoe, I just think that-- friday, look, we're not gonna kill them all. We'll reinstate the captain and his officers in exchange for a safe passage to englan where no one will hang. If they can convince a judge that they were forced to join a mutiny for fear of their lives, then no. Your english judges must be the wisest of men, not to be corrupted by the power they hold over the lives of men. Except for one. Do you believe there is a god? Judge jeffries... do you believe in hellfire? King james' right-hand man. To see him in action was to see the future, for me and every london merchant and dissenter family in the realm. Such a villain through the whole city! Now, gentlemen of the jury, you take notice of the terrible carriage of this fellow. How can one help abhorring these men and their religion? A pagan would be ashamed of such villainy! Oh lord. Oh blessed lord. Oh blessed lord. What a generation of vipers do we live among! You watch! He'll have him tied to the back of a cart and whipped through the streets. I can't say how it goes in england now, but every man deserves a chance to redeem himself. Like jacob moore. Jacob moore sealed his fate whatever we do. How do you plan on getting that to your captain? You have already chanced one visit to the camp. I have a messenger in mind. I tell ya, lads. Have no fear. I look into the eyes of evil and I come through unscathed, right? All of you! Stop your mumbling about ghosts and demons. Get to work! Ya see? They don't doubt me! I don't doubt you eitherer, jacob. He's been muttering all night. Something about a man coming to set us free. It's the fever. It's healing. Thank you. Excuse me! You're a woman. You have a keen eye, mister... - crusoe. - Crusoe. Robinson crusoe. stay right there, mr. Crusoe. Don't move an inch. Why? I said don't move! You expect me to stand here while you try and shoot me? So you can keep your secret and carry on living a lie? Only so I can carry on living. Listen, I wish you no harm. Then why were you spying on me. I wasn't spying on you. I came to ask for your help, but you-- This changes things. I'm sorry I startled you. If you're in need of medical help, then my sex would be of no issue. Are you planning something? Like I said, this changes things. You don't trust me because I'm a woman? I serve jacob moore because I'd be killed if I didn'T. I do what I can for captain taylor because I have no wish to end up on the end of a rope should he regain command. Self-preservation to the last. You're a castaway stranded on this island, mr. Crusoe. We're all slaves to self-preservation. Takes courage to live as I do. More than if I were a man. I'll find another way. What if I tell the mutineers you're out here? And what if I tell them that you're a woman? Whose life would become more unbearable then? Be careful who you trust, robinson crusoe. Do you need anything? I happened to lay eyes on you earlier this morning, miss. I've been at sea over a year now, but I ain't forgotten what makes a woman a woman. Come here! Please! I beg you! Begging's good. You alert the whole camp, then I'll be everyone's property. But if you keep my secret, you'll also keep exclusive rights. You're a sly one. And no mistake. Do we have a deal? Nolan! Where are ya, ya gutless dog? We have a deal. I'll be back soon. You can rely on it. Did you find the lad? Yes and no. The lad's a lady. A bearded lady? The beard's an old stage performance trick. Your mating rituals are complicated enough as they are. And that kind of thing will not help. She may be brave, but I would never normally put a woman's life in danger. I need a different plan. Where have you been? The sacrificial burial ground. You're not the only one who has a plan, crusoe. Those are human remains. It would not be a burial ground if they were not. We need a distraction, so you can set the prisoners free. The mutineers are all on edge, because they think there are demons on this island. My good friends here will help supply them. What about your spirits and laying bones to rest? They are happy, crusoe. I have discussed it with them. Even spirits need a change of scenery now and again. But I promised to return them once it is done. Those mutineers are tough. They'll not buy this. The tough ones always fear the most. Think back when you first came here. Alone on the island, when the sun went down. No hope, no help. And no name for the things you feared the most. Come out! You are without a doubt the most surprising human being I have ever known. We can take care of things from here. I think we will be quite all right, thank you. Our orders are to watch you at all times. But not while we wash, surely. Nolan! Look. What? Back to camp. Now! Move! And that is just the beginning. Come on. We've got work to do. Do you understand these people? Neither do I. A dead man. A dead man at the lagoon. We have to leave! He's been into the grog again! Shut your mouth, will! We all saw it, right? It's true. I saw it with me own eyes. - It rose up like a demon! - Demon? Get the women back into the stockade! First it attacked you, now it's come for me. This place is cursed. We're all cursed! Calm down, man! We have to find another island to get provisions from before it's too late. - It's a devil, sir. - He speaks the truth. Right, you lot. Load all the goods into the longboat! Did you not hear him? Move it! We shouldn't have taken the ship! Shut up, man! You're giving everyone the jitters! He must be sun-struck. Let me help. Right. Just keep him away from the rest of the men. Come on. Roll out the barrel, boys! Just put your shoulder into it. Chew this. It'll calm you. I know what would really calm me. Just chew. Contrary to what people believe, gunpowder does not explode. It burns very quickly, producing a high volume of gasses. Crusoe, in order for me to help you, I must maintain my will to live. Confine these gases within a rigid container, and the container will burst in a spectacular fashion. This is what causes your explosion. A man of science would appreciate that. The spirits would say: "Make sure it makes a bang". You stick with your spirits and I'll stick with mine. Ah, they are the same. - No, they're not. - Yes, they are. I have heard you pray for help from a dead man. That dead man would be the son of my god. - Is he not dead? - No. And he's certain not found in bones and relics. Unlike your saints and martyrs. All right. Now, those are similar. - The same. - Similar. Give them your faith, and they will give you their protection. Dost thou, jeremiah blackthorn, in the name of this child, renounce the devil and all his works, the vain, pomp and glory of the world, and the cardinal desires of the flesh, so that thou wilt not follow nor be led by them. ******** And if faith is not enough, have powerful friends. Nolan! Nolan. I don't know what's wrong with him. One second he was calming down and then the next-- well, where's the surgeon? He's back on the ship. Well, you better take care of my brother! Yes, sir. Go, lad. Go now, lad. Easy does it. Put him on the table. His throat's constricted. Maybe he swallowed an insect and it stung him. His only hope is if I can open his throat below the swelling. Well, do it! If you have a god, pray to him now. If not, I suggest you get one quick. The ghost pointed at him and now he's dead. Shut up! I'll take his body and bury him at sea. And I trust ya to take care of things while I'm gone. Of course. I'll be back. Haibal didn't have gunpowder when he crossed the alps. He broke up rocks with fire and vinegar. Shall I tell you how? You always do this to me when I cannot get away. What's wrong with expanding your horizons? Makes my head hurt. Crusoe, you should stop worrying. We have a plan. I just want to go home. Hey, you should take a slug. You should take it easy. The men are still very jumpy. A night on the grog will straighten them out. Nature calls. what do you think? I think they started the party without us. Who are you? You do realize you only h have one shot? Which means you'll only be able to kill one of us. And that whoever you do not shoot, will have to cut your throat before the other hits the ground. Ready? Let the show begin. Stand your ground! Stand your ground! Gather 'round me here. Captain taylor. Mr. Crusoe! I thought you'd forgotten us! Are you gonna be leading us? - I'll leave that to you. - Right. I need to help a friend, but I'll be back. It's coming from the jungle! Lancaster, unshackle the men! Come on, pick up the muskets. The prisoners are out! Arm yourselves, you drunken sods! They're in disarray! Let's have at them! Fire! Reload! No! Hold your fire. One more shot, and I kill her. Papa! Lower your weapons. We have lost. Not just yet. Back to your mother. Lock 'em up! One night away to bury my brother and what do I come back to? Taylor and his officers got out. It's in the nature of captives to want to escape. It's the jailer's job to stop 'em. They had help. Obviously. The lash will loosen their tongues. Put 'em onboard ship. Won't find it so easy to launch an escape from there. No, you take 'em! And you stay with 'em till I send for ya. Excuse me. I got hit over the head by two men over there. Shut up! U, lad! Come here! Mr. Atkins obviously needs all the help he can get, so you go with him. What will happen to the women? Leave the women here. It'll give captain taylor something to consider if he tries to plan another escape. And what are you gonna do about those 2 men? What I always do to people who try and cross me. We have to get those women to safety. Come on! Hey, who are you? Bless you. Don't be afraid. He's a friend. I need you to take them to the treehouse. But he's a savage! Far from it, madam. He's my best friend and he's your salvation. And where are you going? I've got to find a way onto that boat. You'll be fine. Come on and get this boat out to sea, you lazy lot! All right, all right! You'll be kissing the daughter before too long! We're off to sea while the tide's still with us! One, two, heave! Come on, boys! One, two, heave! One, two, heave! Secure the camp. I've got a score to settle. - We've all had our fill of jacob moore. - I know. So I'm ceasing this ship and taking command. Stow the prisoners below! Prepare to set sail. You're abandoning moore? That I am. Weigh anchor! Hub sheets! Hands to the jeers! - Stow the prisoners! - Aye-aye, sir! Let's get clear of this god-forsaken place. Let's go! We need to drink.Please. Make it quick. What are you doing? It will keep you cool. We have been pursued. Let us go. Now! You're going to leave us here? I could make my life a lot easier and return you to jacob moore, if you would prefer. Soon as we clear the rocks, boom the main sail! Give her everything she can carry. This ship's mine now. Not if I have anything to say about it. Get him! Take the wheel, boy! This one's for me. You fight like a man with a lot to lose. But I have nothing to lose. Which makes me far more dangerous! First blood, I think. So, the evil island spirit. You're going to attack me with a stick, are ya? I have a very, very unfair advantage. Oh, well we'll just see about that. Die! Hold the wheel steady, boy! While I finish him off. You see? I have been living the outdoor life. Fresh air, plenty of exercise and nutritious food. While you, mister... you have been cooped up at sea, eating nothing but broth and dry biscuits. Aye, but I still have the beating of a savage in me. Especially when they cost me so much! I do not think so. You can't defeat us all. Last blood for me as well. You haven't shed it yet. Now who's on their back? What the hell's going on? Get your scurvy arses back down below. You have to go now. Go! Keep your gun on them all. ********* He fell overboard. He'll do well to survive with that wound he has. Then good riddance. Well, at least they're stuck here a while longer while they fix our ship. I don't think atkins and his men will travel too far into the jungle anymore. Today, the battle may have been lost, but the war is far from over. Have faith, my friend. We will get you home. Come. The reason Lian is able to treat Gong Xi seriously is she completely focuses on her acting, such that no one can tell her foot is in fact injured. Before the guest leaves, I can't collapse. Gong Xi... Gong Xi! Please give me another opportunity, let me have another try. Please. You gave me 100 points? Despite having no talent you nevertheless go all-out. So I had to give you some sympathy points. Can you stand up? Do you need me to help you up? I must learn well. Someday, I must possess acting skills comparable to this guy's. - When I said laughable, - Everyone together... I didn't really mean it's funny. I meant it's an embarrassment. Do you understand? Embarrassment? Is it as bad as that? It is. To me, it is! You're not allowed to leave! I want you to wear the Love Me Dept uniform with me and be my nice partner. Gong Xi, I have run out of other options now, so I'd like to ask you to help me. See if you can completely undo the knot in Mary's heart. Don't rehearse anymore! No one wants to watch such an idiotic show! Mary, how can you be so disruptive? I also think that the jie jie's response isn't very rational. Let's see you act it out. Show us how you'd interpret this Lola who resents her little sister. Daddy will not forgive me. Mommy's death was an accident. It wasn't your fault. Brought to you by WITH S2 Written In The Heavens Subbing Squad Love is a solo show. Solo Solo. For you, I want to... Solo. The lights shine on me, the one who really loves you. I practice my lines. How do I perform flawlessly and make your heart flutter? No matter how many times I've suffered defeat, I still won't turn back. Because you have the smile I want to possess every time we meet. Sometimes I doubt myself. I blame myself for not being lucky enough. I'm scared I'll spoil you with too much affection, but I'd still rather believe... Baby. Love is an extravagant solo show. I'm not afraid of ridicule. Eventually, you'll be moved. Love is solo. Oh, S - o - l - o Love is a cruel solo show, up on the stage. Your glance is overflowing with sparks. Love is solo, the most beautiful extravagance. Love is a solo show. Solo Solo. For you, I want to... Solo Solo. Love is a solo show. Solo Solo. For you, I want to... Solo Solo. Love is like a battle arena. Solo Solo. S - o - l - o Love is a solo show. Solo Solo. Love is a solo show. Solo Solo. What are you doing? You only have half an hour until you perform. I'm not a scriptwriter. I can't come up with any persuasive dialogue. So that's why I'm doing other things to change my mood. This is a voodoo doll I made myself. Whenever I'm in a bad mood, it works well for venting my feelings. Do you want me to show you how to make one? Put that away this instant! Are you going to admit you've lost to those people? I'm not, but I don't know how to act out the scene. In that case, you shouldn't have parroted Mary just now and provoked those vicious shrews. I wasn't provoking them, but after listening to what Mary said, I agree that it's illogical. Look at this. This jie jie* was the recipient of their mother's love, (*big sister) but as a result of her mei mei's birth, (*little sister) all of her happiness was stolen away in one night. In my mind, this jie jie should hate this mei mei intensely. But, this jie jie who hates her mei mei so much, has to coax her by saying, "Daddy doesn't hate you at all, Mei Mei. " In other words, Jie Jie doesn't want Mei Mei to continue to suffer. That means Jie Jie also loves Mei Mei a lot. This character is too complex. I can't figure it out. To be honest, I don't care at all what your thoughts are on this character. All I care about is that you don't mess this up and ruin our Love Me Dept's reputation. Hold on... What reputation? What did you just say? I didn't hear you clearly. Could you repeat that again? You want me to say it again? No... nice words shouldn't be repeated a second time. Then, are you willing to help me, for the sake of our Love Me Dept's reputation? I don't know if I can help you. After all, you created this problem yourself. However... in the eyes of an actor, a script is the bible. There's no doubt whatsoever. An actor just needs to perform according to the script and he's all set. Then, have you never doubted a script before? What's the use of doubting? It won't change anything. The other actors will all follow the script to perform. That's the only way the show can go on. The other actors will all follow the script to perform. Why didn't I ever think of that? What do you mean? Let's do that! I apologize for making everyone wait. It's all right. We've already prepared ourselves for this to be a waste of time. You're not even from the industry, how impressive could you be? Exactly. How you ever got into LME is a big mystery. Of course it was by brown-nosing and shamelessly hounding the CEO. Love Me Ba Bu is basically headquarters for parasites. Gong Xi jie, good luck! Don't lose to them. Mary. Listen up. If you screw up and give that herd of subpar women an excuse to look down their noses at our Love Me Dept, you're dead. I'll do my best. Go on. Good luck! All of you just wait for my move. If you have no counterattack, then meekly accept defeat and shut your faces! Angel... You have been blaming yourself all this time, haven't you? In this world, there's no one who blames you. Every single one of you say you don't blame me. But, in private, you say that Mom's death is my fault! Back then, I was opposed to having the baby. Lily was right at the peak of her career... At that time, she was at the prime of her modeling years. I can't believe that for her child, Lily was willing to sacrifice everything. In the end, because of a child's request, she dropped all her work, and specially flew back in order to celebrate her birthday. Mary, you're up. Give Auntie a hug. Come... Daddy, Mommy died because of me. Didn't she? Of course not. Why would you think that, Mary? Let's go. I'll take you to get something to eat. You can't trust what adults say. That's not how it is at all. Don't have such foolish thoughts. That's definitely how it is! That's definitely how it is! Even now, Dad still hates me! At this time, in the script... Lola appears. She cannot hold back the tears, but gently laughs once. Why is it disdainful laughter? What is she thinking? What are you laughing about, Lola? Based on the script, Lola should now say... Nothing. I merely remembered something adults often say and I accidentally laughed. I'm sorry. Nothing. I merely remembered something adults often say and couldn't help laughing. That line is exactly what's in the script... But the tone is completely different. This jie jie is different from the script. She's not gentle at all. I'm sorry. Such a murderous aura. The dialogue didn't change, but the mood is completely different. She has totally overturned the character's personality concept. Gong Xi jie is amazing. Next, in the script, Lola gently says, "Angel, you're a smart child. Before you hear what others say... " Angel, you're a smart child. Before you hear what others say, you already know the answer in your heart. Then Lola will gently say, "Daddy is human too. " "Sometimes he's irrational. " Daddy is human too. Sometimes he is irrational and unintentionally says hurtful things. Angel, you ought to know that parents don't resent their children. Angel, you ought to know that parents... do resent their children. She changed the dialogue. What is she doing? Jie Jie is supposed to make Mei Mei realize that their dad loves her. Once that line is changed, how will she make Angel realize that her father does not hate her? According to the script, Lola is supposed to gently say, "Dad actually loves you a lot. " Dad actually... hates you a lot. Daddy doesn't like me. Why do you think that? Because Daddy never takes me out and he doesn't play with me, unlike you. Mary, you hardly ever see your dad, right? Yes. When you see your dad, how does it make you feel? Very happy and also very scared. That's right then. Right? Think about it. Your dad is usually very busy and doesn't have time to spend with you. Therefore, in his heart, he probably feels very apologetic towards to you. So when he actually has free time to spend with you, he becomes nervous and doesn't know what to talk about or play. Is that what it is? Yes. Your daddy just doesn't know how to behave around you, because you spend too little time together. But, in his heart, I'm sure he loves you a lot. Do you know that? Lian is just like all the other adults. He only says nice things to kids. I'm not so easily fooled. I know that for a long time now, Daddy... For a long time now, Dad has hated you. Mary. I'm crying. I can tell. I'm not sad, it's because Jie Jie's performance is so good. I'm telling the truth. I'm not sad. I'm not. You... Face reality. Dad doesn't love you at all. Dad doesn't love you at all. You're lying! Shoot! I let her influence me and spoke lines not in the script. I'm lying? Why do you say I'm lying? Because... All of you just wait for my move. If you have no counterattack, then meekly accept defeat and shut your faces! What do I do? I can't counter her... Oh, right. Because Dad carries my photo with him every day. This line... "Because Dad carries my photo with him every day... " That's supposed to be Lola's line. Angel was pressured by Gong Xi into speaking Lola's line. Next, Angel's line should be... Dad carries around pictures of our brother and me every day too. He doesn't just keep your picture. They really did swap lines. Gong Xi made Angel say Lola's lines, and then changed Angel's lines into Lola's. She actually has the ability to make Angel automatically collaborate with her performance. Angel fell into her trap. No matter how busy Dad is, he always shows up for my piano recitals. That's because if he doesn't show up, people will criticize him behind his back. He... He also buys me birthday gifts. I'm the one who picks out those birthday gifts. He has no idea what you even like. He doesn't care about you at all. That's not how it is! Isn't it? Dad, he... He sends me messages from the States every day! Good morning, Mary. Is the weather in Taipei nice today? Mary, I love you. He writes the same thing every time. But the contents of the messages are always the same, right? He's just humoring you. A message like that can just be copied from old ones. It takes less than a minute to write. That's not how it is! No matter how busy Daddy is, every morning and every night, he writes me an email. Mary. Although every note is pretty much the same, Daddy writes to me every day... So what? Didn't you just say he writes the same thing every day? A letter like that takes less time than cooking ramen. You dare to compare Daddy's letter to ramen, that's too much! You say that yourself all the time. Plus the time here is different from the time in America. But he still accommodates the times I wake up and go to sleep to write me emails. He tries really hard! Isn't that what I frequently say to you? Maybe those messages aren't even written by your dad. He could have his assistant write them. He wouldn't allow other people access to his email! That's what I say too, but you don't believe me. You're just lying to yourself, aren't you? You'll never know for sure whether your dad really wrote those messages. I know! I just know! What's going on here? Will the show continue? Don't know... You just know? What basis do you have for saying you know? Do you think you know your dad very well? Back to the script. Gong Xi is going back to Lola's lines. She's acting again. Yes. She's back to Lola's lines again. You've never had a proper conversation with your dad. All day and night, you just complain that Dad doesn't care about you. You never try to be understanding of his feelings. Isn't that true? Mary, how was your day at school? Did you play any fun games with your classmates? Why does he ask the same question every time? Lame. Bit nippy, but this time of year, what do you expect? And as your daughter said, no-one really knows what's gonna happen. You don't have to do this any more. You can live instead. Daddy! You've been found guilty by a unanimous verdict. The law says you should be punished, but we don't have the resources to impose a custodial sentence. Therefore, I have no choice but to pass a sentence of death. What? - Don't you dare. - What would you have me do? - What would you do? - Not this! That's not an answer. That doesn't help me. I cannot let this fail. It just has. You're wrong. You've got what you wanted, so you can stop now. It's OK. It's all right, you're all right. You returned what you stole. Your sentence is commuted. Justice and mercy. This is our law. You know, we're totally confident. I've looked closely at the vaccine research and it's impeccable. There's nothing at all to worry about. And I'd like to thank you for your courage. We're not the only ones. There are survivors everywhere. People live, you know? The thought of Davy being alone. That finishes me. The rest... It's a good life. Thanks. We'll bring the car back. Looking for her son Peter, 12 today. There's an estate called Waterhouse. Somewhere east of here. I've heard there may be children there. Voilà! How on earth did you manage that? Garden centre, piece of cake. - Perfect! - Thank you! Look at Naj. Never seen him so happy. Maybe he'll move in with them! Come on, we're naming the chickens. - Why? - Cause no-one eats pets with names. Got to be something that suits them. - Nugget? - Something nice. Korma? - What happened to you? - Car crash. Suits you. Both. Are you OK? We're naming the chickens. You can have one, but you'll have to share. - Otherwise Abby won't get one. - She not back yet? That one there. Eagle Eye. What do you reckon? Look at him. He knows exactly what's going on. You couldn't get anything past him. It's a chicken, they're female. Silly me. What's that? It's your surprise. - We're having a party. - What's the occasion? It's my son's birthday, and I want to celebrate it. OK, Naj, do the honours. Three, two, one... You'd better come. There's a problem with the vaccine test. For God's sake, be careful. - How long has he been like this? - A few hours. - I should have been told! - BP is going through the roof. Oedema presence. At first we thought the vaccine was working, but then he started showing symptoms of the virus. His immune system has collapsed. This is my fault. We're losing him. Hold him, for God's sake. The risk of contamination is too great, there's nothing you can do. Come on, get out, all of you. You too, Sami. I'm so sorry. You do what you like. I'm not leaving him to die on his own. Cut my throat! Drive! Samantha Willis live here? Abby Grant sent us. You ever get your hands dirty? If you need anything, then... just ask. Morning. I've come for Peter. He's my son. You want it. Yeah. Why can't you get better for me? We had so much and it's all fucked up forever. I'm so lonely. I know. Do you remember when you rode with me in the ambulance after I tried to kill myself? Of course. That's what love feels like. What are you doing? Lovely Sid and lovely Michelle are fucking. We're not... Not in the way you're thinking. Effy? What's wrong? It keeps happening. OK. Lie down. - Do you mind? - No. I like this story, anyway. Thanks. "Orpheus was the greatest poet who ever lived. "His music was so beautiful that when he played rivers would stop flowing, "winds would stop blowing, "and the skies would open up "so his wondrous melodies could be heard by the Gods in heaven. "One day, his wife Eurydice was bitten to death by vipers. "Overcome with grief, "Orpheus played heartbreaking songs on his lyre. "The Gods were moved, "and so advised Orpheus to travel to the land of the dead "and sing his songs to Hades to bargain for his wife. "So it was that Hades' heart was softened. "And he allowed Eurydices to leave on one condition - "that Orpheus would walk in front "and never look back." - Hey! Here he is! - Looking good, mate. Cheers. I feel quite good. Eh. What's going on here, then? Ah you know, man... The winds of change. Rivers of blood and all that. Shit getting wild, man. Him and her, Sid and Michelle... - Ow! Easy, man. - Yeah. Where is Sid? He came early... with Michelle. - All right? - It's loud. You all right? What do you mean? You look a bit... I'm fine. Loudest club in the west, mate. You gonna be all right? Yeah. I'll be fine. Hey, Tony... Hey, Cass. Are we going somewhere? Oh, yes... - You sure you're ready for this? - I'm totally ready. Isn't that sweet? I'm sad about them. Aren't you? I'm fine and dandy. Good. We're just fine and dandy... Come on. You can buy me a drink. I think that since Sid and Michelle are together, we should do the same. What, go out? Yeah! Get dressed up? Go on a date? Yeah! And we'd talk and eat dim sum, - and I'd take you home... - And I'd walk you upstairs... But I'd knock my head on the door frame and fall down. I'd get the witch hazel. And I'd say, "Witch hazel? "What are you, 90? Get some fucking painkillers." And I'd say, "Hey, it's an excellent astringent, "and we're out of aspirin." I'd turn the argument into a good, hard, angry fuck. Well, that's where we might have a problem. What do you mean? I've got... a bit of a problem in the downstairs department. What? You know, downstairs. What? ! Where? ! Oh, for fuck's sake! - My cock doesn't work! - What? My cock doesn't work! Hi... He's watching us. We can't help it, Sid. No. It's OK, isn't it? Isn't it? It's fine. We're fine. Fine. OK? - I'm fine... - And dandy... Whoa! Here it comes... Oh, I've missed this. Fucking hell, I've missed this... I feel good! Yes, but take it easy, Tony. I feel so... fucking good! What about our date? You all right? I'm balalaika, feathered up, and ready to rock da party! Yeah, boy! Dude. I can't believe you're going out with Michelle. It just kind of happened. But you're... you know. What? Well, you're not exactly... Not exactly what, exactly? Not exactly, you know. A player, a don, an R Kelly, a baby daddy... All right. I get it. A smooth criminal, a president of the USA, a buddha buddha buddha cheese buddha. Hey, Sid. - Er... You having a good evening? - I'm just marvellous, Sidney. Like hell on Earth in here. Glorious. Yourself? Er, yeah, yeah, I'm all right. Excellent! Vibrant! Superb! So glad to hear it! - Tony, are you OK? - I'm top-notch, buddy. Enjoying your night out? Me too. Hey, Nips. - Don't call her Nips, Tony. - Why, what you gonna do? I'm, uh, objecting. Strongly. - Come on... - Tony, what are you doing? Isn't she pretty, hey man? Tony. You two make such a sweet couple! Out of all the world's famous lovers - Anthony and Cleopatra... Taylor and Burton, Jordan and Peter... Stop it. Bert and Ernie... I would say that you two are quite possibly the greatest snog history has so far encountered. What is wrong with you, Tony? Are you OK? What is it with you people and the concept of OK? I mean, we're a fucking threesome, aren't we? You know... peas in a pod. A fucking family, that's what we are. D'you need to sit down? Just calm down. No... I need to... I don't... I've got... I need to go... Out of my way! It's a panic attack. That's all. What? It sounds like you're having a panic attack. I can't breathe, I can't... Maybe it's because you wanna fuck your sister. What? Do you want to fuck your sister? No! Jesus! It's just people say panic attacks come from some deeply repressed sexual urges. You know? What? I was just testing a theory, see. Actually, I'm talking shit, cos it turns out a panic attack's just a fuckload of adrenaline mainlining into your heart. It's just how we deal with danger. Fight or flight, they call it. Right? I don't know you. Are you a fighter or a flighter, Tony Stonem? Cos depending on your answer... well... A lot depends on your answer. I'll see you around. Hi, Effy. How are you? I'm fine. How are you? Good. Is Tony here? We need to speak to him. Tea? Coffee, anyone? - Er... no, thanks. - Er, no, I'm fine. Tony? No, thank you. You OK, Tony? You seem a little under... well, under the bed. I'm fine. Tony, come out. I'd prefer not to. Listen. I think we need to talk about this. I really don't know what you mean. Well, me and Sid are together now. Yeah. I know. And you're obviously not OK with it. Who says I'm not? Well, er, you did, pretty much. Last night. Oh, come on. I was only taking the piss. You know... cos it's funny? Listen, do you mind? I've got an interview. Got to get ready. All right. Oh, OK. See you later, Tone. Bye, Tony. Bye. Fuck! Take this. It's stuff. Maps and shit. OK. You look really good, Tony. Like you're ready for anything. Thanks. See you later. I'm gonna tell you a story. A bloke, he wakes up one morning. He gets dressed. He goes down the stairs. He makes himself a little bit of breakfast. He walks to the garage, he gets in his car. He starts his car. Drives off, I don't know, a couple of miles. Stops. Gets out his car. Has a couple of blokes pour petrol over his head and... Sets fire to himself. He... What? He sets fire to himself. Fucking boom! What's in the bag? My sandwiches. So what we got? Ham and cheese, chicken, or egg and cress. Egg and cress... Isn't life wonderful? You looking? I don't... what? Few scars, few marks... What do you think of them? I think they're horrible. At least I got 'em, mate. Cos I fucking wear 'em. Right... How about you? Do you... have any marks? - No. I'm fine. - Oh, yeah, course you are... You're fine and dandy. Right? Egg and cress... It's a little fucking miracle. 18 years old. The age of opportunity. I bet you can't wait to come here! Imagine it... being able to live away from your parents and you can do anything you like, like stay up all night and eat ice cream! Derek. Thanks, Polly. So. New home, new friends, new horizons. The good times, the bad times... The parties... oh, my God, the parties! The loves that will never be, even though they seem so right. Just remember though, that if you will drink - and personally I have a bitter lemon... But if you do, just don't over-do it, or you won't be able to get up in the morning for your lectures! So, any more questions before group sessions? Are you two shagging or what? No, we're not. I adore Derek to bits. But he's more like a brother. But you'll make friends like that here too. Friends who appreciate that you never, never, never want that to happen. So... No. We're certainly not doing that. No. We're not... We're... truly not. Any more questions before... Thank you. You know, if you don't work together, then you'll... You're late. Sorry... I couldn't find the room. And yet everybody else seems to have managed, which I find kind of spooky, really. Sorry. Please... So. Whilst you were meandering around the corridors, we were introducing ourselves. Martin, you were telling us what you did on your gap year? Yeah... As I was saying, I spent most of my time in Central America. You know, building bridges of the real, and the symbolic variety. You know, just really teaching the people out there out there the value of teamwork. So 6,000 years of tribal society, they still hadn't managed to grasp the rudiments of teamwork. Sloppy. They must have been delighted that you showed up. - You next. - Me? Yes, yes, you. Enlighten us. Do. Um, OK. I'm Tony Stonem. I go to college... I live in... I actually said enlighten us, don't bore us, Mr Stonem. Speak about yourself, about your motives, your drive, your animus. Don't know what animus means, do you? - Yes. I know what it means. - Well, I'm relieved. You see because at this university, we don't have room for the inarticulate. I think I'd better go, then. Bye. Good. So Tony, you were about to tell us just how extremely clever you are. - I'm not that clever. - Oh, he's clever all right. Really? Touching. Sadly lacking in substance. At our university you have to have verve, a sense of charisma - intellectual thrust. And that's what we're here to do this afternoon, is find out whether you're a giver. - Whether you're... - Willing to sleep with the lecturers? - I'm sorry? - I was just making the point, sir, that you've been screwing every girl in here with your eyes since we arrived, which suggests that sex ranks higher than substance. And I'll pass, thanks. You see, I don't really find intellectual thrust that sexy... Or fake tan, for that matter. Oh, you think that's funny, do you? - It's possibly funny... - Possibly funny. The thing is, I don't actually have to put up... OK. Cool. See you! I think you should join her. Don't you, Tony? Toodle-oo. You. You really fucked up in there. I really fucked up? Wait, what are you even doing here, anyway? Same thing you are. Wow! Check it out. Ah... Shall we? No. No way. First of all, I can't really swim very well any more and secondly... Ahh, boo-hoo. What the fuck? ! I told you, I can't... I can't... Can't swim... Oh, you're such a pussy. I can't. You just don't want to. Lie back. That's it. You're OK. It's easy. Just float. Excuse me. Come here, please. Come on... Bit naughty. Never mind. Up you come. - Tony - is that right? - Yes. Now, Tony, the thing is, we're not really supposed to go in the pool. It's really only for sporting events. And the Super Irony Fun Splash Club. And the Super Irony Fun Splash Club, too. You're supposed to be on the tour. There was this girl, but she's gone. Don't go with her, Tony. - What? - You should join us. What? Yes. We'll find you somewhere you can dry off. You should get out of those wet clothes, too. I'd really like to see you out of those clothes. I'll lend you my cagoule. I'm all right, thanks. Just... I'm all right. Built in 1972, then demolished the following year before being rebuilt in 85, the Bulwer-Lytton building is a classic example of the late modernist, post-Bauhaus development from humanist rationalist impulses from utility. Inspired by Alvar Aalto's signature style, the building is built... Psst! In here. Come in here. ... Social interaction and the hyper relevance of volume as, er... I wanna talk to you. Come here, then. What are you doing? The idea is to walk across the room. The room's full of shit. This is a lab. It's an experiment. Come here. For fuck's sake. Fuck. Oh, shit! Bollocks. Well done. Well done? You got here, though. What do you want from me? Hey! Who's in there? Over here! Better run. Hey! Stop! Come back here, you! Oi! They're going down the science block. Come back! Halls of residence. Shall we? Good afternoon. How may I help you? We're seeking shelter from the fascist oppressors. And we're wet. Can I interest you in some hashish? I'm not really supposed to. Drugs do odd things to me at the moment. Aren't they supposed to? This is Matt. You want a hit from the bong? He is an artist. Truly, an artist. I'm Toby. His roommate. And this is of the purest, highest possible grade. I assure you. Cool! Bravo! All splendid fun. Polly! My little chaffinch. How the devil are you? I'm going to pretend that I don't smell that, Toby. Smell what, mon petit chou? It's very, very naughty what you're doing, Toby. Quite possibly. Anyway. Have you seen a... wet boy running around here? He's lost. And he's truly in a lot of trouble. We have witnessed no moist children of the masculine variety gallivanting within these halls, no. Oh, hey, Poll. How's it going? Oh... Hi, Matt. You, er, you thought about what I asked you? Yes, actually, I have... And? All right, you can shag me. But only once. You're lucky Bruce is in Guatemala. Fine. I'll be around later. Can't allow our friends to be naked alone, Matthew. It's just not cricket. Got ya... They're beautiful. Oh, thanks. I do them myself. Do you? Yeah. So you could do me... now? Sure... if you're up for it. Does it hurt? Beautifully. What are you getting? A mark... Passion... Want... Need... My, my. Thank you. My... My pleasure. Come and look at it. What's it like? Good. Touch it. What? Touch it. I can't do this. So many things you can't do. You can't swim, you can't run... You can't fuck. Oh, dear. How d'you know that? But you can, Tony Stonem. You can fuck me right now. - No, I couldn't. - You want to. Hey, fuck you! I got hit by a fucking bus. That fucks you up. Well, fuck you right back. You're just not trying hard enough. You must be so happy the way you are. Why do you care if my dick can get hard or not? This is fucked up beyond words. Coward. Fucking coward. Coward. Wanker. Why don't you just stop being such a fucking pussy and let the fuck go? Fucking leave me alone! There you are. Are you OK? Look at you, you poor thing. Come with us. We'll get you some warm clothes and a nice hot tea. The Musical Society are going to do a performance for all of you. HMS Pinafore. # I've treacle and toffee, I've tea and I've coffee # Soft tommy and succulent chops # So buy of your Buttercup, Poor Little Buttercup # Come of your Buttercup, buy! # Come back! There'll be cheese and wine. It'll be fun! There's always cheese and wine! Take a seat. Eventful day. Pissing around in pools, smashing up labs, avoiding activities, getting up to no good in the dorms. - How'd you know what I...? - And now you turn up for an interview like, well... You know, I'm amazed you actually even bothered, really. But I'm a fair man, so bearing all that in mind, why don't you try to convince me into offering you a place at this university? Oh, you think you're so original, don't you? I have met a million kids like you. Yeah, vaguely intelligent. Agonisingly middle-class. Read a book by Camus, a book by Kafka. No real substance, though. Just a little fucked-up jumble of misdirected, immature, poly-sexuality and pure, arrogant, impotent rage. So... What you got, big boy? Get off me. You don't know a fucking thing about me, you sanctimonious cunt. But since we're playing the guessing game, let's make a few assumptions. A divorced, lonely, middle-aged lecturer, who lives alone - and gets his rocks off... - You're really fucking... Gets his fucking rocks off trying to sleep with fucking first years. Other hobbies include intimidation and furtive masturbation. I bet you thought you'd died and gone to heaven when you got here. Your own office and all the students you could eat. - Let go of me. - Animus. It means spirit, courage, passion, wrath. This is mine. Who the fucking hell do you think you are? I'm a bad dream, mate. I'm you before you shrivelled and died. And I don't wanna go where you've been. So in answer to your earlier question, you should've given me a place here. I'd have been the best student you'd ever had. Here he comes. Welcome back, Tony. Congratulations, Tony. Good work, sir. Enjoy. The pleasure is all yours, sir. The pleasure is all yours. You're not coming? I think I'll stay here for a while. It's peaceful. Go home. It was good to meet you. Thank you. Don't look back, Tony. Hey, Tone. Where are Sid and Michelle? No idea. You're a terrible liar, Jal. Anybody can see you've got something going on. - Shit! - Christ! What the fuck? ! Tony! - What the fuck are you...? - Shut up! - Sid, are you gonna let him? - Tony, I'm objecting to... You're always fucking objecting! Can't you do something? OK. OK, Jesus. Tony, what? Are you trying to scare me, because it's not working? I love you. I'm saying it again. OK? And you. I love you too, you little fucker. This is wrong. Can't you see it's all wrong? You're my girlfriend! And you're my best friend. - Tony, I love her. - No, you don't. OK, maybe I don't. He loves Cassie. And you love me. That works. - We work. - Why now? It's too late. It's always been there, Michelle. It just took a while. I need you. You can't have her. It's wrong. It's wrong. That's all I'm trying to say. Everything's gonna be all right, Cass. transcripts.subtitles.me.uk Sync: Nathbot Effy, 100% success. My art coursework. It's on the subject of emotion and you seem quite emotional. So you can do it for me. I'm Pandora. I'm new. Tell him I've discovered the power of the pussy. And? I'll sort out your fucking soap opera. And that, ladies, is why Monet was shit. Ryan? Perfect. Norman, you scared me. Did you leave that door open or is your Daddy home? Ryan Fuck me! Roman. Jesus. I thought you were Ryan. Here. Do you know where Ryan is? He's getting in on the 10:30 Ferry. Wants you to pick him up. He called. I guess you were busy. Got it. Oh baby. What's all this? Come on, I'll drive. ...just the fact that Jim gave me the case. I mean there are five other guys he could've given it to, but, he handed it to me. Hi baby. Miranda is insanely jealous. What's in your pocket? You haven't listened to a word I've said have you? Yeah, five guys... Miranda's insanely jealous. What's in the pocket? Open it. It's your mother's old silver chain. Ryan, it's beautiful. That's paper inside. Paper? Paper for... Our first anniversary. Oh my god, it's tonight. - I don't even know what to say. - Don't worry, you've been so busy. No, please. Don't make excuses for me. I will make this up to you. You promise to do ... What's on the paper? My love for you. Sealed forever. It's pretty dark out there huh? Oh my God! I love it. I love you. You're welcome. Thanks for telling me. He made me promise. Sneak. You do everything your big brother tells you? Yeah right. I'm I'd listened to him, I wouldn't be such a fuck up and you two never would've met. Can't fault you on that one. Alright. - I'm gonna get outta your hair. - No, no. No rush. I uh... I gotta go change anyway. Uh... Thanks, big man. It really looks beautiful. I'm sorry about earlier. Please don't smoke in the house. Roman. You want one? No. You know I promised Ryan. What's that? Paper? It's cute. # No I can't save you # You're on your own # You're on your own #NoIjustcan'thelp... Things get too busy on the couch to call? I was doing something for my brother. Oh yeah? Am I gonna meet this brother of yours? It's not likely. Thornton Wilder wrote, "There's a land of the living," "and a land of the dead." "And the bridge is love." "The only survival, and the only meaning." My Mom would have loved you. Well, of course. You said she had good taste. You know, you can't ever leave me. No matter how bad a wife I am. You're a perfect wife. Liar. You know we wanted to be pregnant by now. I can't take that kind of time off work right now. Besides, we need my income. That's not an issue. Come on. I don't know if I'm ready. What if we lose us? Jess. You will never lose me. So what was it like in prison? It's actually not so cracked out to be. If you could start your life over, what would you do different? Be someone else. That's sad, Roman. Anyone can change. Change is a choice, you know? Change is a choice? Where'd you read that? Just made it up. So when will I see you again? Hard to say. You're not going to do anything stupid are you? See, right there! That's what it's like being me! Everyone always thinks I'm up to something. I wonder why. You're sexy when you work. Norman. Right, hang on. Lucky coin. Damn it. You know, no one ever died from taking a day off. It broke. I don't know what happened. Oh, it's ok. I'll fix it. Unless you forget where you put it. Don't you worry, I'll find a perfectly safe place for it. We're out of juice. Norman. Come on. When are we getting our house back? Jess, come on. I'm serious. Look, I feel bad enough about what my Dad did already. Everybody's always giving Roman a raw deal. He's my brother. I'm not gonna do that. I didn't mean it like that. It's just... I know you don't see it but... He scares me. And I don't trust him. Remember, I'm the one that caught him snooping in our bedroom. Come on, Jess. He's not a bad person. I plead his case. I know exactly how bad he is. I can't do this for another 18 months. We need to get him into a halfway house. Alright. As soon as we find a place, he's out of here. Hello. Hey. I think Roman is pulling some kind of stunt. What're you talking about? Well, he just tore out of here in his car and he took all his stuff with him. Ryan, you know he's not allowed to leave the state. Alright, I'm coming back. They both suffered total cardiac arrest. Paramedics revived them on their way in but there were no signs of cognitive response from either one. - We're assessing... - Which one is my husband? Can he hear me? It's possible. We really can't tell at this stage. "Casey" Do you want a chair? No, I'm not gonna stay long. Not sure if he'd want me to. I'm sure he appreciates it. Anything happens, you'll let me know? Either way. Of course. You're sweet. Just like he said. Mrs. Bryson? Can we speak for a moment? We can keep your husband on the machine so long as there is lower brain function. And we will keep monitoring but... It's been three weeks now. What are you saying? The chances of him waking are very small. Like what? There's no way of telling. It could be months. Hey, little man. You've been through a lot lately. How you doing? I have nightmares sometimes. I get scared. You do? ? Sure. So do i. Hey, i have an idea. How about i sleep in here tonight Just in case i get scared? Okay. I'll protect you. Oh! Okay. What if i get scared? I'll protect you, too. My hero. Oh, geez. Ohh. I didn't know it was gonna get that crowded! So, what do you think of the book so far? Dude, seriously. Quit asking me. I will throw this book out the window. That's the only signed one in the world. It's a collector's item. We'll always have omaha, mouth. You just said a mouthful. Nice. Who are you? I am Casshern. Luna, I'm going to kill you. Hey, for what reason were we born? Hey, for what reason did our lives cross? I'm scared because I don't know, so I take your hand Right now, I want you to firmly squeeze mine back I try to escape this harrowing reality Everything I hoped for in my life turned out to be an illusion A flood of emotions, struggles that lead me astray... I just want to cling onto them and move forward, forward! On these shattered hills, under a sky of rust, you and I are fraught with life like azure flowers We dream that we're bubbles, nestled together, and yet I'm not ready to wither yet! Hey, for what reason were we born? Hey, for what reason did our lives cross? I'm scared because I don't know, so I take your hand Right now, I want you to firmly squeeze mine back That's the day the Ruin began. From the moment Luna was killed, the world as we knew it began its unstoppable descent towards destruction. And the name of the man who killed her is Casshern! Yes. Casshern! He must pay the price for what he's done to the world. Kill him... Kill Casshern! Kill Casshern! Kill Casshern! Kill Casshern! Casshern... Kill Casshern! The harbinger of the Ruin of the world, Casshern. Devour Casshern! Kill him... Kill Casshern! Devour Casshern! Why? What do you stand to gain by devouring me? The Ruin cannot be stopped now. Kill me if you must, Casshern, but this body won't last more than half a year amidst this destruction. What does that have to do with me? Casshern, he who devours you shall attain eternal life. That's ludicrous. I don't know if it's true or not, but to die without even trying is too wretched to fathom! Die! The Ruin cannot be stopped... He who devours me shall attain eternal life... Kill Casshern. Devour Casshern. Kill Casshern! Devour Casshern! Kill Casshern. So you become fragile when you lose consciousness... It certainly is a fragile world. A world of nothing but robots. Ohji... Ringo, you're awake? You know you need to sleep. I know. Devour Casshern... What an absurd concept. You'll gain nothing by devouring him. It won't stop the Ruin. You... You're him... The world is coming to an end. We all must pay the price. Casshern must pay, as will we. So Casshern has awakened? Indeed. We knew it would happen. Your business will be booming for a while. Beautiful... --Me? --Yeah. Are you a human, mister? Then you must be a robot, right? I... suppose... You don't know? Are humans...? Beats me. I haven't seen many of them. That's why I thought you might be one. Since you're so beautiful. What's your name, mister? My name? I'm Ringo! I'm... Kill Casshern! Casshern... Kill Casshern! Casshern. Casshern? You waves are so mean! I had them all lined up! Are you a robot, too? Yeah. I started to rust here, but Ohji fixed me. I'm usually prettier than this, but you caught me at a bad moment. Because the Ruin's begun. What is the Ruin? Is it going to happen to me, too? Man, I don't know what's going on! But, you really are beautiful, mister. You aren't all beat up like me. You're like a human! I have to get back, or else Ohji will be worried! Ohji will be worried! Ohji will be worried! Bye-bye! I don't think you're beat up. I don't. You can have this. It's the prettiest one I've ever found. It'll keep you safe. Thank you. Just now, that was... Luna... Ringo! Humans will perish, just like us. I'm a robot. A robot kid? I can't stand kids! They have that new kid smell! The world's on its way to Ruin! It doesn't need any goddamn kids! Die. Leave Ringo alone. Who the hell are you? Let her go. Wait, you're him? Ringo... You really are beautiful. Mister... You're Casshern! No doubt about it! They say the Ruin will stop if we eat you. Well, that story's too dumb for me to believe. But, I understand why some would want to believe it. I've never seen a body as brand new as yours. But I'll never get to see it again, once I smash you-- What are you...? ! Mister... S-Stop! Don't. I don't... wanna... die... Ohji... Stay away. I don't believe my eyes. Crying in sadness as you bid farewell. I thought it, but now I've seen your true colors myself. Your ability to kill like that is impressive. Yours is the lowest form of existence! It always has been. Do you know my past? Enough to know that I want to kill you. Tell me. What am I? You're nothing more than a killing machine. Long ago, you killed the Sun named Moon, and the Ruin began. The world is already dead. I know nothing. Not even myself. I only know that my enemies cry out the name Casshern. Let's stop asking ourselves why the tears keep flowing As soon as the sky is filled with blue at daybreak, let's go ahead and row towards tomorrow You can't get by on kindness alone, so you hurt someone You can't get by naked to the world, so you hold someone Nobody knows the reason why Why do we experience love if it hurts so? Nobody knows the place to go We seek each other so fervently, because nothing goes on forever There, robots who have accepted death reside. Ne't time: "A World Replete with Death Throes." This country, our country. Rising country. This is country's rising politician. This is rising talent. This is rising gangster, Laxminarayan One. Who's the king of Mumbai? He's a Gangster-son. Gangster-son, What is it? Like Star-son. Sunny Deol, Bobby Deol, Hrithik Roshan Sanjay Dutt, Abhishek Bachchan. You're the Abhishek Bachchan of gangster community. Your father Pappu MMS. He was Amitabh Bachchan of the gangster community. Today his Refugee is releasing. Meaning 1st murder. I'm here to kill you. What did I do? You want to keep my boss's land! Brother... His Refugee, Will it be a hit or flop? Tell her, Who's the king of Mumbai? Who? Brother... Apparently she's the king and the king Kong. Poor Laxminarayan. Badla Bhai told his mother. What did he say? Laxi's mother... Steel from the gun and child from the womb. They never go back. But only mother knows her pain. Right? I thought he'll do few murders in his life. I thought he'll get settled. I wanted to you marry the daughter of Chota Khujli. But came out useless. Take your argument at home. Bhai give me one chance. No one gets two 4s at one ball and two chances in one life. Stupid fool like you Laxminarayan is no one else in the world. Shoe is chewing me, then you chew it. This is Laxminarayan Two, MBA from Jharkan University. He has just two rules in life. Rule no 1, Boss is always right. Rule no 2, If the boss is wrong then follow the rule no 1. Sofa or Chair, Sir? Chair. Left or right, Sir? Left. Your left or my left, Sir? But sir I came thought here, there are two doors... shall I go through here or there? Where is he? Brother, Buy a underwear. I don't want it. Buy a underwear, It's awesome. I said, I don't want it. Buy it, once you wear it you'll become superman. Wear it and fly, it won't rip off. Wear it and fight, it won't rip off. Wear it and climb Kutub Minar, it won't rip off. Jump off the Kutub Minar your everything will be ripped off but the underwear will stay the same. This is the guarantee of Laxminarayan. But your voice will rip my brain off for sure. Should I write it down? I already have one. You have one! Then you should wear it. How do you know that I'm not wearing underwear? You know about my nature. And this is Laxminarayan Three. I can tell the topic of letter by looking at the envelope. I can tell the size of the son by looking at the father. Wow. He's been selling undergarments since he didn't even wear undergarment. He's made a undergarments factory. Bulbul loungewear. What is this? Who are these slim girls? Dad, they are our brand models. And photo session is going on... Model or their skeleton! Look like they got sick by wearing out undergarments. Who will buy our undergarments? We'll have to wear them all. Underwear is okay, but who's going to wear the bra? Your father. Dad please don't use your words. What is happening? Uncle Shakespeare said, What is in the name? But he forgot... What if three people share the same name? Laxminarayan One. Laxminarayan Two. Laxminarayan Three. Diamond is worth 20 crores and route is by road. Go easily and come back with the diamond. Here, 2 bucks. You'll get the diamond when you'll give him this half bill. This diamond will bring that diamond from Pondi. Stop, I know you have the diamond. We are dangerous people. He's running. Scoundrel. Don't touch me. Say Chandu loves Chandni. Sound so sweet, Keep saying it. You think I'm mad! I mean let me show it also. I didn't even touch. I did nothing. Chandu, There's someone at the window. No one is there. Hey why are you peeking and scaring my girlfriend? I'm not scaring her. Look at my back. Hey why me? Brother for god sake look at my back. Hey I'm not like that. Neither am I. I've been shot! Look at my back. Stop the car. I'll count to 3. You can't die. Shall I shoot. This diamond is gone. And the other diamond... Fake diamond. Papa will be shocked once he sees it. This is the 20 crores diamond. Do you know? Why do I've myself called Papa? Why Papa? Because Demelo only knows about having. Pa Pa... Papa. And you came back and left the diamond. You know that electricity only comes for 2 hours a day. And you let it go to waste. Tell me... Where is the diamond? Like every time electricity went this time too. Now it'll be back Tommorow. Where does it go? When it leaves? In the inverter. Then turn on the inverter. This is a joke for you! We are also someone's child, we lose our memory. You made these bombs, Right? Yes Papa I made it. I have a diploma for making bombs. Now you'll die with this bomb. Tell me, Where is the diamond? Why won't it blow? Papa, Bomb is here... And you're using the remote from there. Come inside the range. Should I press it while standing on the bomb. What kind bomb is this? Why won't it blow? Papa, Don't hit me. Don't doubt my talent, Bomb is fine. I have a diploma. Let me see the remote. Here. Battery is fitted wrong. Now see how it blows... Now tell me, Where is the diamond? Chandi look at this diamond. Our luck will also shine like this. After today, won't have to do this sales job. We won't have to live in this car show room's wash room. Won't have to listen to Laila Madam. Let's runaway. Idiot, they must be looking for us. In one or two days... Until then we'll have to put it somewhere no one can see. I have an idea, What? This is gas, Why did you put it in here? See nobody can see it here. This car is here for sale, what if somebody comes to buy it? Nobody came to buy it for seven months, who will come now... A man's death and another woman over a woman. Once catches up with you, it never lets go. And Yadav's death is catching up to him. Kill him. Who shall we send? After Heera's murder, Police in Pondi is alert. I've heard that you have a vacancy for a shooter. Give my son a chance to do a murder. I want him to get settled before I'm dead. His career gets developed. Give this target to my Laxmi. I'll do my best. Give me one chance. And if he fails this time, he's not of one father, I tell you. A sparkling rose and loose motion never stays forever. This time I'm sure that Laxminarayan will come back with job done. Bhai, I won't forget your kindness. Bullet will go off so neatly even you won't be able to notice. But who's the target? Poets have poetry, walls have ears. Leave for Pondi. Your room will be booked in blue diamond hotel. You'll get a envelope there. Whoever's address and photo is in the envelope. You'll have to kill him. Get my diamond before killing him. I want that diamond at any cost. Don't worry Bhai. Have some opium and go to sleep. I'm hearing a name that scary for the 1st time. Time is not good, let's go to the village. We are in the village. Let's go to the city, Car is here. I will kill him slowly. Make a bomb. Which blows. Laxminarayan will come, but he won't go back. Listen to me carefully. I've seen an old car on the internet. How is it, Sir? I want to buy this car. Leave for Pondi now. Check the car and give 1 lac as advance. I will mail you the details. Which mail, Sir? Sir, Today's Zapack mail comes very quick. Fool. I'll fax you from the computer turn on the fax machine. There are two fax machines here, which one, Sir. Left or right? Left. Your left or my left? My left. Which position are you in, Sir? Can't see on the phone. This is your last chance. Leave for Pondi right away. Stay there in Hotel Blue Diamond. Room will be booked. I'll send you the details over there. Remember I want this car any how. It's a gift for my wife. Sir, Which wife? One who's Bandra or the one who's in Varli? Why is he so angry? Laila always checks the car thoroughly before she buys is to sell. Madam, My car! This car of yours, I can't sell it. Nobody can sell it now. We are from the ICUC Bank. Madam, You took a loan of 2500000 for this show room of yours. And you haven't paid your installments since ten months. Actually we are here to give you a notice. What notice? If you don't pay in 5 days, we'll take all of your cars. You can't do this. We can do it Madam because we are scoundrels and bastards. I'll call the police. We are the police. We work part time with the bank. Okay Ma'am, Have a good day. Brother. Give size 40 in this material. What are you doing? I'm taking out sister's bra. Shut up, Son of bra. If not Bra then what? Pajama? Teaching me. Here it is madam 42 it'll be perfectly fit. Dad, listen to me. Brother. Not 42, give size 40. 42 will be perfectly fine. Brother I said not 42, give size 40. What are you saying? How do you know? It's my size. Do you know better or me? I can tell the size of bra by looking at the blouse. You know my nature. Her husband even ask me for her size. 150 please. Here. Give me a bag. What's the bag for? You're going to wear it anyway. Dad, You'll have to leave for Pondi. There you'll have to meet our designer who's worked on our valentines collection. Actually I've seen the designs on the internet. You just need to go and make an agreement with her. Okay I'll go. Don't you worry. And if you like the design give her 100000. She need it. Okay. What her name? Shut up, Not yours. Leave the bra. Speak. Please write it down. Pen is not working. Dad leave it. You just get to Pondi, and go to the Hotel Blue Diamond. I'll will courier all the pictures and details. Please Dad don't say bra and panty over there. Let's see how's her design. I'm a designer, You'll see Name of my brand Pure Diamonds. Will be on everyone's toung. Whole world will wear my undergarments. Not less. Not more. Please leave. It's simple. Make me leave or I'll leave. Actually you father and my father were partners in this restaurant. So either you buy the whole restaurant or let me buy. You know that I don't have that kind of money. Why don't you keep half? M.M. Munde never takes half. Whole world knows that. I will pay you back slowly, slowly. How slow Jia Jee? Tommorow at 11:00 my client is coming here to meet me. He'll like my design definitely. And Jia's doors of destiny will open. Come Tommorow at 12:00, you'll get the money. Tommorow at 12:00, it'll be your bad time or mine. If just Laxminarayan likes my designs. Here, Ticket. Look son. Do the murder nicely. Mother, go now. And remember... If anyone give you food, don't eat. Those crimnals, they mix something in the food. And then they steal all the stuff. Don't tell your name to anyone. Keep that in mind and wait... 25000, you might need it. Enough mother, stop crying. You have the gun, Right? Yes mother. You have the ammo, Right? Yes mother. My son going to murder for the first time. Mother don't you worry. Stop crying. Buying for the kid. I don't have 100000 in the bag. Which one is going to Pondi? The one, which is leaving... What are you looking at? This, Paharganj's peace. It's Karolbagh's. It's can't be Karolbagh's, It's Paharganj's. Khurana's stuff. This not Khurana's stuff. This is my wife. I'm not talking about your wife, I'm talking about her bra. It's Khurana's stuff. He sells this cheap stuff. Why the police? Stand in line everyone. Open your bags. Open it. Sure, There's nothing illegal. And you know my nature. Why? Are you my cousin? You nature depends on my future. What's all this? It's all mine. You wear this! No, I sell these. I was here on work so thought I should bring it. I thought I'd make some money for the fare. Please come... Madam it's a perfect fit. Show me the bag. Which one Ma'am? Right or Left? Left. Your left or my left? Were you born in military? Doing left right, left right. Show me the other one. Open the zip. Ma'am there are two zip, which one, front or back? Take him away. Check him, open every zip on him. And if you can't find the zip then rip it then put a zip there. Then open the zip and then check him. Everything is sold. It's the last one, for you. Where is the dirty canal? Why? Are you going to clean it? The Blue Diamond Hotel is right beside it. I want to go there. Do you see that bufalow? Yes, On the right. Follow it. It takes bath everyday in it. What Madam? You're just wasting time. There's nothing in my bag. I can see that you're a riot without a weapon. Show me the bag, okay go ahead. See this is a pant. And this is my Gun! Where did that come from? Put the gun down and surrender. Yes I'll put it down but first let me think where it came from? Give me the gun or... I'll beat you so bad. No Madam don't come forward. A stupid fool like you will shoot me! You're scaring a Jatni with spray. Ma'am this is my gun, actually the holi is coming that's why. But when I saw your physique I got scared and... I hid the gun in his bag. Let him go. Please Ma'am. Let him go! Gentleman is telling me to let him go. Let him go. You'll have to file an application for it. I obliged you, Aren't you going to oblige me? Sir is calling. Must be the wife's massage. Today I'm on duty. Otherwise someone like you has never been spared by me. Get his information and let him go. You came out to be intelligent. You don't look like one. But you are. But How did you put the gun in my bag? I'm shocked. You were standing before me and I was standing behind you. You were standing before me and I was standing behind you. You were looking on your left your left. I came slowly... but that bag of yours, it was in the left. Here is your gun, and listen. You met me here. Don't meet me there. Understood? I don't take help, not even from my father. You know my nature. But I know your nature. Your size is 52 but you wear 48. How do you know, Sir? If it was 52, wouldn't you be adjusting again and again. Okay, tell me which room is under my name. Your name, Sir? Laxminarayan. Okay Listen. A letter is suppose to arrive on my name. One minute, let me check. Here. Please come, I'll show you the room. Laxminarayan, Which room? Laxminarayan or Laxminarayan? Laxminarayan, not nalayan. Nalayan But there's no Laxminarayan staying here. No? No. Wait. He will stay. He will stay. I've a reservation. Laxminarayan think or what will people think? I belong to a nice family. What? Laxminarayan? I was looking for you. No Sir, I'm not the oil and cream man. Come to corner. No Sir, I'm not like that. I won't do it again. What are you doing? I'm not like that, You must be mistaken. Actually my pant got wet that's why was behaving like this. Hold it. No I won't. Boss has sent this. Take it. Yes. Boss told me. It's all there. Right? Job should be done. Otherwise your career... No, don't say it out loud. Don't say my name. I'm not speaking to you. Courier for Laxminarayan. Mine. You're Laxminarayan. Is he Laxminarayan? Yes he is Mr. Laxminarayan. So you're Laxminarayan. Sorry I didn't know you're Laxminarayan. Now I know. Sign here Laxminarayan. Where Laxminarayan is written. Thank You Laxminarayan Jee. So Laxminarayan... He is the target! But Why? Boss wants to buy this car! He better buy a bicycle for his wife. Did you see that newspaper? It's written here that 20 crores Diamond leads to murder. 20 crores Diamond. 20 crores Diamond. We should take it out of the car now. Right? Tonight we'll take it out anyhow. Really? Really. It'll be fun! How much money... 1000000. The deal is fixed in 1000000 for this car. This car! How can this be? That's what I'm thinking. How can it be? No one came to see it for seven months now coming to buy it. Who is the buyer? Laxminarayan. This car won't go anywhere today because today at 11:00 Laxminarayan is coming to see this car. So both for you, clean it up. So when he sees it, He shouldn't be able to take his eyes off. Come at 2:00 and take the advance. What are you doing? What are we going to do? We'll lose our diamond. We won't let Laxminarayan get here. We'll kidnap him. I must close this deal today, I'll have to impress everyone with my charm. How do you know the name? Since childhood. How? Who told your Papa? Naturally Sir, He'd know. If he bought undergarments from my shop then off course he knows my name. Laxminarayan Undergarments Salesman. My name is Laxminarayan. You mean your... Yes... and you know my nature. My name is Laxminarayan. And I don't know your nature. Nor I want to know. Strange man. Knows the name! Not nature. Laxminarayan's room? There he is. Why people runs away to take D'Melo's name? I don't understand, Mr. D'Melo. Mr. D'Melo. Excuse me, Excuse me, Anybody home? Hello! Hello! Mr. D'Melo! Papa, he looks like Laxminarayan. Wearing tie he came your home to kill you, he thinks you are a dog. Kill him right now, No! First, let's find out who is this daring's man? And who sent him? Car is here, don't know where there are? I think he' s not home, Oh! Hello! Sir! Nice meeting you finally, My name is Laxmi... Hands up! Sir! You have a misunderstand, Sir! I am Laxminarayan, Put your hands up, Left or right? Sir! Both! Sir! Walk Silently, Where? Left or Right? Left! Your left or mine? Papa! Did she design bra and panty or car? She is doing business in car like you, Nisha, mail it to Mr. Kumar and tell him that... Oh! Madam! Yes! You're the same in photo? Yeah! Who are you? I am Laxminarayan, Hi! I am Layla, I was waiting for you, Here we go, you deal in cars, Yes, I deal in cars, And you know my nature, I deals in car too, Where you keep your stuff? Stuff? Stuff, This stuff, I think you are desperate to watch? Since I've seen that picture, I can't see anything, What a design? This stuff won't available in Chandni Chowk, If Khurana's will see then he will be jealous. Are you ready to make a deal? Definitely, show me the stuff. You know my nature, I can't make deals without seen stuff, Come I'll show you, This gun, found it from him. I think it's English, Chinese, Sir! But it looks like English. Papa! Don't talk to him, he asked much questions, Sit! Where do I sit? On sofa or chair? On chair, There are lot of chairs, Which chair, left or right? Lefts one. Sir your left or mine? My metric's question paper, here. Here, on this chair. Really, you're such a daring man, Thank you Sir, You come straight here. If I called you then you won't come, You were busy that's why I came her, Anyway Sir, Shall we finish the work, Sorry Sir! Don't get me wrong, I am in hurry. I have to finish one more job, Mean? After finish my job, you'll go to finish for another job. Sometimes, I have to finish 5-6 jobs, I am kind of busy for 24 hours. Marveles! Learn some, learn some, learn some thing from him. Learn! Learn! Excuse me, Sir! Excuse me, Sir! Learn! You beat us every time to the front of anyone. Sorry! Can we finish it off now? Shall we do our work here or... some where in private? Papa, he's asking your choice, You would like to die here or... inside in private. Whom you're working for? Virus Autos, I gave you my card, Viruses Autos, It seems a foreigner gang, What's your Boss name? Mr. D.M. Pipot, Mr. D.M. Pipot, Why this pipot wants to kill me? Actually Sir, your... to kill, you say kill, Why he needs to kill you? Then why you came here to kills me? Sir I... not kills Sir! K I L L kill. You add S with every English word, Sir, that's not right, Sir! It's Papa's S, he will add where he wants. Why you want to kill me? Sir, why I should I kill you? You're joking, Sir. Papa, don't talk to him, kill him otherwise, he will kill us with his questions. You making my death mock. Papa! He's dead. Marveles shooting, Marveles shooting, After long distance, Papa has learn to shoot. Thanks, My sons. Excuse me, Mr. D'Melo. This is not fair. You know I have to go for another work, and you have ruined my face. Where is Bathroom? Where is Bathroom? Bathroom is on left, Whose left? Yours or mine? Your Tamil will take my life, And I am M.A. Munay. Murli Manohar Monday, not enough, not less, bubble gum. You told me to come and get the money at 12:00, so it's 12:00, Jia Jee, today I am in serious mode, so cut the crap, bubble gum. Please have it, Please! Look! I am not feeling very well and my head is so hot. Then make your head cool and take coconut. Then sit under the coconut tree, Not coconut, why you're saying coconut? You gave my money or I'll take it, Sorry! May I have water? Jia Jee, someone fire a bullet. It's not like that you call some guys here to kill me. There are nobody, Jiaa, M.M. Munday not enough, not less. Bubble Gum. Very much. But Munday won't afraid to any bad guy, you just wait here I'll be back. What the hell? Where is this Laxminarayan? It isn't like this that he's here and he's not recognizing you. Yes. It could be, Eat sometime, Excuse me, I need to announce my name Laxminarayan! Sir, I didn't came here to kill you. I didn't came here to kill you. Sir, trust me, I didn't came to kill. Then whom you came to kill? Sir, I didn't came to kill anyone, Sir my Boss Mr. Pipot... he told me to meet you, If you want you can ask to Mr. Pipot. Give me the numbers of Pipots. Fax number or Phone number? Phones! Landline or mobile? Mobiles, India or Singapore? Where is your Boss? He is in London, Then why did you say Singapore? I was afraid, Leave me, I'm giving you. 0044786679. It's ringing, It's ringing, He's will pick up. Sir, my boss is an educated man from Oxford University, I'm his special man He'll pick up. It's time difference, it's morning and he's busy in the mornings. Hello! Hello! Sir! It's Laxminarayan. Who Laxmi? Sir, Laxminarayan, your Laxminarayan. You fool, have you done, Sir, there's a problem. That's why I want to talk to you. Laxminarayan, you blood idiot, I don't want any excuses. I want results, you stupid, nonsense, you bloody ass hole call me when you finish your work. Otherwise I'll shoot you, Idiot. I know you love me. I think it's disconnect, International Calls Papa, I told you before, Kill him. Thank you Papa! Sir! What you've done? You tell him to kill me. Sir, you can't do this, Sir, try and under... Which kind of sound is this? Even Papa, don't know. See, how much comfortable? To Sit, To Lay. You don't have adjust every time. It's right, it must be comfortable in the matter of get up and down. Yes! Otherwise, customers complains a lot. You have to adjust while sitting, walking, Right! Gents could do that, but ladies have a problem with that. Show me, I showed you. You told me about the side effective. Show me the stuff, What you want to see more? This one. This, this. I am showing you this since long. Look, Madam since you're showing me that's good but I am... the perfect business man. Till I didn't show the real stuff, I don't make deals, this one. Show me the red west and brief. Full piece. Here's your Boss stuff. Bhai's diamonds, I'm sorry it's late to delivery you Boss must be angry with me. Yes! He's solid angry, Please say him sorry from me. I will be grateful to you for my entire life. Please! I am very upset and I am sorry! Please! Just try and understand. Excuse me! I'll just come. I can't kill her. And when she return Bhai's diamond then why? I think electricity has gone, Papa. Shits! It's will be back tomorrow, Papa. Don't you have Inverter? What? Don't you have Inverter? Papa, he's challenging you, I'll turn on the inverter. Papa, forget about electricity and kill him with bomb. I am not that Laxminarayan, It must some another Laxmi. Have you gone mad? That Laxminarayan lives in my hotel. I saw him, you leave me Sir. It's about my job. No. Not at all. There's another Laxminarayan, May be he lives in Room No. 504 I am not that Laxminarayan, He must be that under garments dealer. If you lied to me then... You're saying like I'll say something and you will follow me. Sir, do what you want, Marveles Idea, Come, show me, where is that another Laxminarayan? Papa, You take the tie, who will take the tie man? Don't worry, If you want stuff then you have to show your stuff, and business happens like this, I think you don't know about business. I am in business from 40 years, I will stop if you show me the stuff, Yes or No. What you thinking? Laila, If this deal won't happen then you can't take place your bank's installments. If the bank's installments would not take place then everything will go. But you will see from far. And... You won't tell anyone about this. All right, show me. But not here, Then where? In your hotel. All right. Come. Tell me who shot the fire? Fire shot from there and we were here And you. Yes, Madam. Then come. Yes! Madam! What are you doing? A weapon without riot, Didn't you fire a shot to him? Hey, search him, Yes! If you don't mind, Sir! Why you always searching? You didn't know that police officers didn't leave any chance. Do you understand, Come with me to police station. Why police station? I live in Ghat Kupar. If you do comedy again then I'll kill you, and you'll cry for entire life. Madam, your button is open, Catch him. Laxminarayan, My money. Laxminarayan! Laxminarayan! Hold his leg, not mine hold his leg. First I'll get down, I'll help Papa. I'll give my hand to Papa, Should I give you my hand? OKs, OKs, First you people give me the hand, give me your hand, Which one? Left or Right? Anyone, otherwise I couldn't climb up. You come from right, and you come from left. Sir, sorry Sir! You will murder D'Melo's Yadav's Sir that Laxminarayan is someone else, I'll chop you in pieces. Why you'll chop my pieces? You're behind me. You're eating my Supari. Sir, I don't eat anything. Can't you see, No, I can't. You hit me, Yes, I did it. So. If he won't with me, then I'll chop your pieces. Who? He! Where he's gone? Hey! Helps! Helps! Pintos! Chandu! Where did that Laxminarayan has gone? There, Come on, Come on, Quick. Laxminarayan, Stop! Look, Don't come after me. Look, you Boss told you to give me something in this replacement. Then give me and go. No, How could I give you that? It's not your age, Age not concerns. You know, how many little people has gone there. Look, I can't raise you up. I am saying, Sorry. I am saying, Sorry. You were the only Laxmi, Who was my last hope, And If you betrays me, then what will happen with me? Think about it. Kill me, Kill me, Please, I want to go up. Kill me, Laxmi! Leave me, Kill me, please! Kill me. Let me go. What you've done? We stop him to go. Don't touch him, He is my Laxminarayan. No, he's our Laxminarayan. Who told you? He's our piece, He's not a piece, he's Laxminarayan. He's ours, He's mine. He's ours, He's mine. One minute. Yes, Madam, Where are you? You know Laxminarayan was coming on 11:00. Yes, Madam but how could he? He's lay down here. He is not, He stands next to me. You people come soon here. I have to go. Yes, come fast, OK. OK Madam. Two minutes more, Sir, He's not our Laxminarayan. I told you he's my Laxminarayan, Yes it's your piece and it's yours too. "When there is life, there is living" Sir i want to check out. I want to check out please make my bill. Why Sir you were suppose to leave tomorrow? Sir, yeah but i want to go now. Please make my bill. Please make my bill, i want to check out. Please make it quick. My luck is not good, will you change it? What kind of man you are, asking question on questions cheak out please! "When there is life, there is living" why you are laughing? Yeah ma'am? Ma'am, Inspector... recognize me? How can i forget you? You are look changed. Did you had accident? Yeah just like accident, kindly take me with you. Oh my duty alarm... when i see you i feel like i should hit the alarm because i am on duty, so i cant even hit the alarm. Madam? Did you find him? I couldn't find Laxmi Narayan. You shut up... let's check over there, ok tata, bye, see you. Did you had Viagra? And now you cant control it? Don't do this, don't play with my feelings. Or i will kill you. Then you will left crying. Go back, stay away... go back... Ma'am i am the same Laxmi Narayan, Ma'am I am not Laxmi Narayan! Ma'am I was telling you, i am not that Laxmi Narayan! Inside... i will shout you if say a single word. Stop, hold him... teasing girl, even with those guns? And including me also... i was just telling you, that he is the same Laxmi N. Who come to shout you. Then why didn't you said, "that's him" "that's him"? You told me to shut my mouth. I think he is scoundrel... i should let you hit by her sandles. Just like the other day. Madam, i am fresh now. Now show... i have never show it to anyone before. What? Never show? Then how you do business? Please don't call it Dhanda (business) I sounds very Ganda (bad) Why is it bad? In our business, customer don't pay till they though the item. And we have to show on words too. You also show it? Yeah... and you know my nature and ladies check every thing. Weather if its not loose, size is fine... we have to show every thing. I am doing bussing like that for 40 years. Show that... this is only for the watching purpose? But who hit me? Don't know, there were two people. They hit you, and they were taking you with them. Then i stopped them and told them, that's my Laxmi Narayan. Did you said that? Then they talked on the phone, and ran away. Then you bring me here? How can i left you there? Laxmi Narayan. Now pain is gone? Pain has just started. What is she doing! Why are you taking off your cloths? How can i show you then? No... no! This is wrong... now i got your nature. And you know my nature. Laxmi Jee Relax... that's what happen in this age. I am sorry... why? Because of the way talked to you. When? When i told you to shoot me. What was you fault... I am not like that. If i didn't had problem, i would never say like that. After my father left. I am all alone. Have to leave this house too. You know, that Mundaya was saying... if i don't pay him the money, i have to marry him. Better is that, i should kill myself i will kill you... if you talk like this. I am here, here it is, how much you need? I bought 25000/- only 25000/-? Don't worry... take this chain, worth 24000/- only? Only means, its fake. Take this ring. It was for my just wife. Just wife? Yeah i just told Mina gay my wife. Worth 30000/- i though you would give at least 100000/-. Whey? Did you knew, i will give you money? Yeah... do i look parrot from my face? Parrot! Muna, Papu take all the stuff from this house. T.V., fridge, sofa... washing machine and every thing. Take that swing too, i like it M.M. Munday, Murli Manhoowar Munday, not less not too much, take half... see she has bundle of cash... take all the stuff of this girl. Leave the money and go you way. You will scare me with that? I wont spare you, and you too. One minute uncle... put finger in you ear. Why? Go ahead... sit... why? Yeah? This girl is your sister from now on. Understand Munday? M.M. Munday, Murli Manhoowar Munday, not less not too much, give the bubble gum... yeah take it please. From today if she has any problem then i will beat you like hell. How! What are you talk brother. Listen! Last nail of coffin... listen completely what i am saying. What? If you ask her for money or ever threaten her... then i swear upon my mother, i will shoot from Mumbai, and it will hit on you back. And on 26th July 2005. You will be laying on the road like dead cow. Understand? No... brother... Jeeya Jee is like my child no, not like child, she is my child. Muna, Papu what are you doing, when ever i call you, you come. Get out from here, don't you have any other work, Shut up! Now greet and get lost. Or i will shoot you right here. You don't worry your brother is with you. And you never told me that you know big don of Mumbai. Not to worry, from today if there is any work for me, ask me. Here's the money, bubble gum... get lost! Go Munday go... wow, you did well acting for a underworld don. Munday ran away... but where this gum came from? I am Bhai (brother) of Underworld for real... i am bhai (brother) For real? You are Bhai (brother) Son... Son... Laxmi Narayan is my father and i am his son. Here Father, Son and Uncle... 3 type of Laxmi Narayan are here. So which one you want Sir? Sir, can you get me to there room. God knows, after Sono's mom, i turned off all my feelings you have tune on them again. I call sister, every women. I told you the size of bra, by seeing but i have never seen anyone with bad eye. You have left me for nowhere. You has told to show it? So i am undergarment saler, what i elss i would look for? You do business in car, right? Yeah i do business in car! Is it wrong? Selling undergarments in car? But you said, that you will get from me and sale it with 5°/° commision oh God, i was talking about the design which you were about to show me. Which design? The red one. That's car's photo. Then why you are showing inside space from outside? That means you are not the Laxmi N., who was coming to get car? No... so you thought, that i am other Laxmi Narayan. You did this to me, what have you done... if you are not that Laxmi Narayan, then where is he? That would be him, but this is i am. Sir, your Son is here who? Your Father. That not my dad. He is yours... Sir, you are not his Father? I am not even married, how could i have son? And now i think, i wont marry ever. Sir, everyone has there own taste. We have one more Laxmi Narayan in spare. Let me show... Sir, i have told you there is one more Laxmi Narayan in this hotel. And now even Manager has confirm too, i you will let me go? Sir... shut up, i am stuck here and you want to leave? Just listen to me... now what has done is done. Now listen to me... you... now you have to but the car. Its worth is 1000000/- you can give 900000/-. 900000/-? Madam i look stupid from face but i am not. Why i buy the car? You know, in 5 days if i didn't pay the bank installments. Then they will my showroom, and just because of that i... otherwise i am not that type of girl. I am also not that type of person, do i look like Khurana's? I have the reputation too, you can ask anyone at Chandni Chok if my Son find out that in hotel in one room... with one girl... shame... shame... Madam you go to bathroom. No... Madam you go to bathroom, go... go... lock the door from inside. Are you Laxmi Narayan? Yeah. Are you father of Sonu? Yeah... you came so early son? You were in Singapore? Yeah my work has finished early so i thought... Papa doesn't know about bra, pantee and design so you came to tell me. I am selling undergarment since you were not even wearing it. And now you will explain me, now get out. Out? Why? One second... where are you going? Bathroom dad, why you are going? To get light... no... now i wont let you get light anymore. See how thin you have become. Do eat or not, now i wont let you go thin never... Dad, please get a side or it will come out. If went inside mine will be out. I said no... Dad what is she doing here? Son, she is... you know my nature right? Now i know now why hide from Son. Your dad with me in this room... was finagling the deal. What kind of deal? Should i tell Laxmi Narayan Jee? I will tell me he is my son, we talk regularly. You go from here. I wont find the same situation again. You dad with me in this room, on bed... final the car's deal. Car's deal when? Now here on this bed... should i tell Sonu? No... why? Youth dad wanted to hide from you. Actually he bought the vintage car to sale his stuff... in 1000000/-. 1000000/-? What is all this Dad, we already have car, cancel. Cancel the deal, the deal is cancel. Laxmi Jee you told deal done, bed! But dad? Deal is done. But my advance of 100000/- i and sitting in front of underworld don. You know... why i have started undergarment business. Because it has under like underworld. I got this 100000/- Laxmi Narayan Jee, thank you, the car is yours, i should leave now, i have to make agreements papers. Come at 4 o'clock and get 900000/- too yeah sure. You saved me. And you caught me. I always wanted to marry some... some underworld don. How excited, how thrill there life is. Husband go in the morning. And wife didn't know if the husband will come back home or not. In the night when husband come back and kiss. It is feel like that's a last kiss. Because don't know from where bullet can come. And husband could have encounter. How many kills you have made? You really didn't know that i am Bhai (brother) How would i know? Then why you were waiting for me in the restaurant? That's my restaurant. I have been inform that you are coming there so i bought my beg there. So Bhai(brother) call you and send me to kill you. What? Your boss is bhai (brother)? Yeah... you know it was my first murder. For this bounty, mother have paid lot of bounty in Mandir. She went to Sidhivinayak every Tuesday by walking. For "my son get one change to murder." After that much ganpati, i got one chance. I though by one murder, i could steel my life. Then i will marry to daughter of Chora Khujli, and make my life. But... because of me every thing gone wrong. Kill me. Laxmi kill me. What are you saying, you don't have to worry. I am here, from today i will stand before you if any bullet comes to you what? You will fight with you boss for me? Now i will show Bhai(brother) what is Bhaigiri(gangster) Leaving... your just call wife's ring. Not nessescery... i will come back soon, i will wait. Bhai (brother) you are here? Open grave and hidden new can be seen from far away. Work has done? You were right bhai (brother) My loose motion has stopped Bhai. Here is you stuff, your diamonds. See, have you seen Chota Khujli. I use to told you that this Laxmi Narayan, will make her mother's dream come true. I proud of you. How many bullets you have shoot on throat. None. You much have cut him. Kill by pushing the throat? How cheap your mentality is Bhai... just like egg of lizard. Do not take life, give life to become Bhai(brother) You should learn some. I am not cheep Bhai like you. Who do business in diamonds and take others life. I thought you have reputation. But now i know that you have no reputation. Did you kill her or not? No. Because i want to become Godfather. Godfather, even Chota Khujli can become father too. But one can become God when he give life. And today i saved her life here's your diamonds. From today we have separate ways. Because i wont work for cheep Bhai like you, who sopil the name of underworld, for a underwear. Check you diamonds and Chota Khujli marry your daughter with some Aslam Bhoda etc. Now i don't have any interest in her. What is this? Diamond. Is this diamond? Yeah see its written here too, pure diamond. See this. Where would i wear this diamond? Its you own choice, why you are asking me? Check it carefully, Laxmi Narayan don't left any work undone. What! What are you looking at, say thank you, and give the payment. Son, tell me one thing. Is there any good corner in this hotel? Why? Because you payment is very big. If i will give it here, everyone will see it. Yeah, there is a corner, let me show you, come... why are you beating me Bhai? Hit him... if you don't want to give the payment, forget it, but why you are beating me i am cheep, and i will wear this? Tell me where is the diamond? Here's your diamond. The diamond which was snitch from me and took my honor. Honor can be destroy by snitching this too. Diamond which shines... Bhai see this how shiny is this. The diamond which was stolen by Yadave. Now who is Yadav Bhai? Yadav, that's Yadav. I have come to shoot him Bhai. Now what is he? He stole you diamond, Diamond was stolen by Yadev. Then you did you send his photo. Not his, i have send you his photo in the envelope. Then why this photo came out. You are lying... you are lying, you have send this photo. And that diamond photo too, and after this you are beating me too. You didn't got his photo? No, otherwise i would never spear him. I even beaten him too. When, where? He was running from the street. So where he is right now? But the one who he was following, is in the same hotel. Come show me. Why are you wearing these glasses? What if he recognize me? Bhai, really you have... what? Glasses. Mr. Daver, Laxmi Narayan speaking, i need 900000/- fix 900000/- or the work will not done. And you know my nature right? Understand, 900000/- 900000/- killing money. Isn't that too much Papa? Your other Laxmi Narayan is there. Now i can leave Sir? Where you would go, the climax is still behind, see Bhai that's Yadev. Where is he going? Where is he going? Lets see. What a Dearing best shooter. I have never seen before. I will kill him like the death will say wow what a kill. Before the Laxmi Narayan kill me. How... Bhai should i shoot him right here. You will not kill him. We have serpent ways right? Bhai listen Bhai. Leave my hand, i am cheep Bhai right? No... no... i think like the egg of lizard. My thinking is like lizard egg. Not only thinking, i am egg of lizard. You have big heart. Give me one more chance. I fall because of that girl, my heat has become candle. One chance. Only one chance. Stand up. And remember. Forget about the girl and concentrate on the career. I give you one more chance. But keep in mind. If your bullet would miss him. Then my bullet will kiss you. This time i will shoot on throat, forget it! Shoot the rascal. I am not even married yet. Next week girl's parents are coming to see me. Please let me go... i will free you first you free me. On one condition. Your every condition is accepted. I will not kill him. You will kill him. No. No... don't do this... i have never even killed the bee, how can i kill a man? Teach him to kill bee. You guys look very intelligent. Please let me go Sir, kill. Sir, what? Bee. Bee? Gently! Its female. Female? Should not hurt. Do not break glass and kill the bee, you guys have... kill it... kill or i will give you a slap under you ear. Sir, she is gone... Chandu do something. See the diamond's worth is 200000000/- it will be gone with the car. Now every thing is in God's hand. God... God... do something, anything... excuse me. You? You? Both of you are here you should be shame of yourself. You killed that sweet and innocent Laxmi Narayan and fled? Having the punishment for that same sin. Actually we thought he is the Laxmi Narayan who was about to buy car. But he was not that Laxmi Narayan. Which car? A green old broken car, couldn't sale even 7 months. If it could not sale for two day more, that would be nice. Are you talking about 6121? Yeah, how you know? That's my car. I will transfer all the balance to AMI 200000000/-! If you will take 75°/°, that would be good too. All right give the 5°/°. In 1000000/- really, paper are ready too. And Laxmi Narayan would be on his way at 4 o'clock with money. Here's the 50°/° from advance. Its not nursery now, i have changed my mind, i don't want to sale my car. Here's the car's papers read it. I don't want to sale my car! I am taking this car. That's my car. I made it car, see this, i have made the headlights, and the paint too. You understand? And and... what elss? See this i have changed them, they were very old, i have spend the money. See more carefully. You sold this car with lot of effect, and she was saying no. That's why Chandni made her unconscious, yeah Chandni? Yeah... yeah... if you were hitting her then why you were behind me? Dad please think one more time. That's what i am thinking, we should leave its getting late. 200000000/-? Get some water madam is going unconscious, lets run with the car, this diamond is mine because this car is in my showroom. Diamond is mine because the car is mine. This diamond is four of us. But what if Laxmi Narayan came to pick up the car then? Then we will sale him the car, what? But before that we will take out the diamond. You, never listen to me ever. Laxmi Narayan Jee i am Laila speaking, yeah? Can you come after one hour? After one hour? Actually papers will talk little time. All right, you know my nature right? I will come after one hour. Quick. Here it is... don't be questioner... never questioner when someone is about to begin some work. Let's have coffee, coffee? Where will you hang around with this lets put it in locker. Will it be safe in locker? Take care of this beg i am coming in one hour. 504. Be careful. Means you are not shooting me? I had to shoot. But not with gud with boom. Make a boom which blast. Bring the beg like he put in that locker, and we will put boom in it. And after that we will exchange there bags. Then we will have 900000/-. And he will have the boom. And by pressing the remote. How can i do this. I don't know how to press the remote. He is big rascal. He is trashing him with boom to have his money. You stuff has also trash by him. Should i shoot him right here? Will we trash him in his style. Means with boom? Yeah. And now there is no tension of getting same to same bag. Really Bhai you have. What? Bag Bhai (brother). This boom can blush even by touching hand. What shall i do? Put it in this. Now let me go, let me go Papa. Papa? He is saying Papa just like us, Papa. Papa we should took on photo. Sir, what are you doing, it will blast. Sir, do you also want to put bag in safe deposit. How you know? Change the tags. Here how? The hotel staff is here. Its big job Papa, yeah it is. Go tease the girl who is standing being me. Who me? Yeah who elss, go tease her. She will shout, help... help... i will come and beat you, hotel's staff will gather here. At the same time they will change the tags. No one has ever tease a girl in my whole family. You are saying i tease her, i don't even know it. There is not much to do, go near her and say. Coming? And that's it. How will you say? Coming? Ma am. Ma'am? Is she your sister? No... coming? Coming? No... no... which one, the one behind me. Right or left behind you? Left one. You left or mine? Your left. There are two girls in my left. The pink one. There are two with pink, light pink or dark pink. Laxmi Narayan do one thing. Yeah Sir? I am going to tease her, you beat me. With hand or with leg? With leg. With left or with right leg? Whatever just beat me! Whatever just beat me! With both leg, or i will kill you i am going to tease her. Coming? My room or yours? What? Hey listen, come! Sorry, i am not that type of person. Even i m not that type of women. Don't you have brother or father? Why you are showing attitude, see its off season, i will give you 50°/° off. The girl is teasing Papa. Come... someone help! Come... someone help! Okay whatever you say i will do. Okay whatever you will give me, i will take it. You don't have manners you are teasing the person who is like your mother? No... no... he is not teasing me... beat me hard. What are you doing he is my customer. Why you are not beating me, ., come-on do it. Leave him, he is my customer. Why you are beating him? He was teasing a women. Women? He was teasing a women! What is going on? Leave me. Leave me... leave me! What is going on? What happen? I think his death will happen with my hand, stand straight, or i will beat you some rascal is getting nail. Not wall the door. Now i had enough of beating him, now call the police. Don't do this Sir, my hotel is very good. You are right, not necessary, the work has done. Papa will not do this again, Papa say sorry to Mummy. Just finish it sir. They have beaten me a lot. The worst way. Like Dog. You told me to beat Papa, not like this! Please let me go. Papa he also nailed you., he nailed him like pig, he is very dangerous man. Size of your underwear... Laxmi Narayan is going away with bag, where are you going? You take your bag too, lets press the remote from here. Not from here, take this left right from here. Lets move. Press the button boss. Not now. Come-on sit in the car. Let me go please, no! Press the button, which one Papa? The left one. And now you cant ask who's left because its everyone's left. There is only one... make target on Laxmi Yadev, and Khujli make target on Laxmi. Today one will left. Didn't worked. I think its out of range. Take the car near the rally. I think they know we are following them. Increasing the speed. I am getting near, you make target. Drive fast its getting late. You don't know my nature? Uncle? Why its not working? Bhai (brother) its on target should i shoot. Wait lets find out where's the diamond, Papa! Yes! A man who is behind us, asking for side, should I give him? Papa, tell him if he give him side, then car will come on the middle. Then how could we get the range, I'm telling you over take him, One, Two Three... Laxminarayan, it's your first murder, Shoot him, For your mother's tears sake, Shoot him. Papa, he's escaping, No, Papa. I suppose to leaving you but to ask first, My I take a leave please? Please! No! Till he die, you can't leave from here, Follow him, I miss a lot still water and died grand mother. What you looking at my face? We don't have to spare Yadav, Come on. Dad! Dad! Listen! Listen! Dad! She's making you fool, Try it once, It's fun, Laila Jee! Laxminarayan you're here, Please come, please come, So nice to see you, Complete 900,000. Count them, Now where is my car? It's just between polishing, You people just make it fast, Shri Narayn's here, It's complete cash, count them. What's this? I got the bundle of 10, what to do? Is this the bundle of 10-10? It's just a underwear, She calls bundle to underwear, It's underwear. I keep the bundle inside, Where this underwear come from? These are my designs, Where you get it from? Hey, Hi! Jia! You, How dare you come at my front? You told Laxminarayan that take my samples and shoot me, Dad! Did you say her like that? First tell me, who is she? Dad, she's Jia, whose designs you came here to take, But I didn't meet her, Namaste! Namaste! Who is he? I am Laxminarayan, Then who was he? One minute, One minute, Who was who? Dad, What's this mess? You didn't met her, You gave me her picture in envelope, Then how could I met her? And this one was for another Laxmi, Who is this another Laxminarayan? Sir, which kind of bomb you make? It doesn't works, Mr. Laxmi, I have diploma, Where you get this diploma's from? Papa, let's go to the straight, and press it from front, some things doesn't works to press from back side, I came here to take underwear and I got car. Think about that Laxminarayan, who came here to take car... and take underwear from here. It's the same car, what I was talking about, This car was in your luck, not in that Laxminarayan, don't know where he would be? Excuse me Madam, Excuse me Madam, Excuse me Madam, Excuse me Sir, Can I come in? Can I come in, Can I say something? Sure! Sir, Madam, I am that another Laxminarayan, He was in my next room, Right Sir! Madam, I came here to but this car for Mr. Pipot, Oh! Yeah! He called me, Right Madam. I am his special man, Pipot's man? Right Sir! Tell me one thing, Your Pipot didn't have any women? No Sir, He have two women, Two Women? Right Sir! And he keep a man, Which kind of man he is? Come to that window, Come on. Take your photo, It came to me by mistake, Yes Sir! It's your photo, You came here for this, Ones, Twos, why it doesn't explodes? You are the sharp shooter, I don't wear kafan to people but under garments. You didn't came here to kill her, Then who came here to kill her? Third Laxminarayan, who came to me, There she is, there she is, Stop! Stop! Stop! Come on Pintos, Come on Pintos, No, No, Papa! Please! Please! Please! Please don't press the remote, Is he your father? Namaste, No, No, He is not my Papa, Every one calls him Papa, that's why I call him Papa too, D'melos Yadav Gangster, Nobody will move, Other wise I'll shoots, Take out, who ever have what, Laxminarayan! You came here to kill me, to kill D'Melos Yadav. Ones! No, Papa! Twos! Don't press the remote, Bomb will be explode, Where is that Bomb? In your Bag, There is a bomb inside my bag, Bomb is inside your bag, Is it Bomb? It is the cover of bomb, Then where is bombs? Bombs inside your bag D'Melo Yadav, Who are you? Laxminarayan! Orange never be hard and, Batla's enemy never have time, A bomb you made will take your life, Give me the remote, Papa, don't listen to him, we changed our bag's tag, And I replaced it, Papa, I... with my personal hands... replace the left side bag's tag to right side bag. And I replace left one with right one I don't understand, Can I come in guys? Can I? Ok! Can I say something? You people put guns down, Please, Thank you, Now listen to me very carefully, Get me the table please, The left one, The left right, The right one, Now tell me who replace the tag first? Me, Me, How? Show me, I replace the left one's bag to right one's, when you replace left to right one, That time your left was yours or mine, That was my left, Then I replace left one's to centre, and... replace right one's to left, That's it, simple. One, Two, Three, BBC, Bomb Brand Cash. Then They turned 1,2 to 2,1, Then again he turns 1,2 to 2,1 and then replace 1 to 3, One Two Three. Absolutely clear and simple, You guys get it? No! What do you understand? I am saying that press the remote, What will explode, it has a bomb, Sir, I think this is the best idea, Press it, press it. Ones, Twos, Threes. You're insulting me from morning. Is there any bomb or he's just telling us to press. No, Sir. There is a bomb inside, I saw it from my eyes. But it doesn't explodes, He made it, Hold it, Show me the remote, You place plus up and minus down, the how could it explode? It must be opposite, Turn minus on to plus, cover it. And say, One, Two, Three, Papa, it explodes. It doesn't explode, It doesn't explode, You're insulting me from morning, insult in car, insult in society, I am a Dons, I am a Dons, insults on the front of these girls. I will... Hey... Rangeela Ratan Jackie Shroff! Silence, You' re beating to the front of all, If battery is not working then what is my fault? If we check to open the bag then It isn't better? It's better, Not better, It is not a matter of bomb explode, It about respect. Now until bomb won't explode... till then give me this gun, Give me the gun otherwise I'll shoot. He will shoot himself. Shut up, You don't talk much. I will kill you first, Come over here. No, No, It's Ok, I am normal than you. Go and buy the famous battery from Bhaiya's Shop. I don't have change, Change... Take it from me, but bring it quick. Pintos! Why you're doing all day Pintos, Mintos, Lintos? You just add S, You add S on every single word and English word. People have one father in this world and I have 550,000 Fathers. Right! Papa, you don't have to do like this, What else? Hey! I will give you a slap. My Papa add S, It's not your concern, I'll beat you here, Pintos! I bring you from street, from orphanage. I gave him clothes, Did I gave you application, that bring me up. Father died in darkness, and son is power house. Here's your clothes. You dramatic, you hits me this clothes in publicly, anywhere. Hits me anywhere, Pintos! Listen to me, Yes! Did you buy it from Pahar Ganj? Yes. It's Khurana's stuff, How do you know? Khurana sold this useless stuff, I know, To call Calvin Klein, he dress me up Khurana's stuff, You are such a miser man, Calvin Kline didn't made underwear like this. Don't speak in public, This man... gave me electric shocks. If electricity gone then hits me on inverter. You don't cry, you just ask him. Tell him about Sunday. This Sunday or last Sunday? Shut up you question answer, speak straight, Pinto! Don't be angry, You don't interfere, Batla Bhai! You're like my younger son. That's why I am telling you, Who killed your Hira Lal? We killed him, Now that Hira Lal... where he's gone to hide that diamond? How do I know? You tell me, You must know little little, Your memory has gone week, Which Diamond, which car, she was that car. Papa! These two are the same. Speak, Where is the diamond? I don't know, very good Chandu, don't tell them, no matter what you lost your life, but don't tell them. Chandu! Where is the diamond? Stupid, what are you doing, tell them it's in the petrol tank, In petrol tank? Diamond is mine, diamond is mine. I bought the car then diamond is mine. I came here to buy car, diamond is mine, I have a Gun. So diamond is mine, Papa. But petrol tank is not opening, Then how could we get the diamond? Ok, all you people turn it down, What are you doing? Vomit! Vomit! I am telling you to turn down the car. Which one? This one or that one? I am sick of his question answers, How are you? Give me two batteries, Which ones, Big, Medium or small? Remote batteries? Which remote batteries? VCD, DVD or TV, To explode a bomb remote's battery. Khade chand! Yes! Madam! Did you hear, what I hear? I've seen it photo, today this diamond is mine, Papa One, Two, Three. And say one, two, three. It exploded, papa? It didn't explode! It didn't explode! It didn't explode! It didn't explode! Since morning you have been humiliating me! You humiliated me in the car! You've humiliated me a lot. You humiliated me in front of these girls! I will.. Hey! Rangeela's Jackie Shroff! Quiet! You are beating me in front of everybody. What can I do if the battery is not functioning! Right! Right! isn't it better to open the bag and check? Right! - No! Now it's not about the bomb exploding! It's about my honour! Now until the bomb doesn't explode.. ..Give me the gun! Hey! - Give me the gun! Give me the gun! Otherwise I will shoot! Give me the gun! - Give the gun! Otherwise he will shoot himself! Please! Give the gun! - Quiet! You don't say anything! I will explode you before the bomb explodes! Albert, come here! - Fine.. I am normal with you! Go and buy two batteries from the shop. Go. I don't have change. Change! I will give you. But bring it quickly. Go. Go. Thanks. Pinto! Pinto! Why do you harp Pinto the whole day? You pronounce it improperly! He always add 'S' after an English word. He makes us say fathers. People have one father in the world. And we have 5.5 lakhs fathers. Right! Papa, you shouldn't do that! - Yes! Hey! I will thrash you! Papa adds S. But why are you interfering? I will thrash you. He is a fool.. Pinto! I brought you from the street! From the orphanage! I gave him clothes! I gave it to him! So did I give an application? To adopt me? Father dies in darkness and the son in a powerhouse. Here are your clothes. Dramatic man! - Pinto! You always beat me in front of others. - Pinto! You always beat me in front of others. - Pinto! What happened? - Listen to me! Yes! - Listen! Did you buy it from Pahadganj? - Yes. Its Khurana's goods. - How did you know? Only Khurana sells such cheap stuff. Do you know? Saying Calvin Klein, he gives us Khurana's goods. He is a miser! Calvin Klein doesn't make.. .Such underwear. How could you say that? - You look good. Ma'am, I am telling you. Don't say it in public. This man! Kills by giving electric shock. During power cuts he kills by using the generator. You don't cry. Ask him. Shall I tell him what happened on Sunday? This Sunday or previous Sunday? Fool! You! - Sorry! Sorry! Say it clearly! Pinto! Pinto! Don't get angry! Don't get angry! Batlya brother, you don't interfere. Look, you are like my younger son. Yes. That's why I am telling you. Who killed your Hiralal? We did it. Now where did Hiralal hide the jewellery? We don't know! Tell me! You know something. Memory has become weak! Which diamond? What diamond? What car? One, two, three. - This was the one! One, two, three. One, two, three. Papa, they both are the one! Tell me! Where is the diamond? I don't know! Very good, Chandu! Don't tell him! Even if you have to lay down your life! Don't tell him! Okay! Chandu! Where is the diamond? Stop it! What are you doing? Tell him that it's in the petrol tank! Petrol tank! It's my diamond! - It's my diamond! I have bought the car! Its mine! I had come for the diamonds! - It is mine. - it's mine! I have the gun! So the diamond is mine, papa! But petrol tank is not opening. How to get the diamond? One, two, three. Then.. Heave! Everybody heave! What are you doing? Vomiting! - Vomiting! - Vomiting! - Vomiting! I said to turn the car! - Oh! Which one? This one or that one? His questions and answers! What do want? - Give me two batteries. Which one? Big, medium, small? - For remote! Which remote? VCG, DVD or TV. For the remote of a bomb. Fatehchand. - Yes, ma'am. Did you hear what I heard? - Ma'am! Guys! Guys! Guys! Hold it up! Hold it up! Hold it up! UP! Up! Up! Your right! Your right! Not my right! Here! Here! One, two, three! One, two, three! Coming into the world is free! Leaving the world is free. Look at this charade of the world. Absolutely free. Good. Hey! Hey! Diamond! I saw it in the photo! Today this diamond is mine, papa! One, two, three. My Pinto! Pinto! Pinto! Somebody save him! Diamond! Diamond! Hold this! Yes! - Doctor! Hey! Hey! This is my diamond! As long as D'mello Yadav is there.. ..This is not possible! Give me this diamond, Batlya! Doctor! Doctor! Will I get well? Will I get well? - Leave me, Pinto! Leave! I am not a doctor! - Give it to me, Yadav! Yes! Give me the diamond otherwise.. Here. Who is the king of Mumbai! Me! Come on! Come! You fraud! You look so nice! Catch him! - Stops! Hey! Dad, here! Here! Hey! Hey! Hey! Excuse me! Son, climb up! Hang on! I will do it! Excuse me! My Pinto will die! Don't make him stand on the car! Brother D'mello, throw the stick! Throw the stick! Hang on! Hang on! The stick is of no use! Throw the bag! If anybody moved I won't spare you! I know everything! There is a bomb here! Bomb and here? Who told you? Here there is no bomb. - No. There is no bomb! No! No! No! No! Mayawati Chowtala's information can never be wrong! Tek Chand! - Come on! Tell me, Albert. Where is the bomb? He is a child. What will he know? Get lost! We don't even know who he is! There is no bomb here! - Who are you? There is a bomb! Which bomb? - The one whose battery is this! Which battery? - For the remote! Oh no! This is not a bomb's remote! - Then what remote is this? This is a TV remote! Yes! Yes! Yes! Where is the TV? - There is no TV! TV.. We have the remote. We have to buy the TV. - We will buy it later. So this not a bomb's remote? No! No! The bomb won't explode by pressing this? No! No! Then press it and check! Yes! No! No! No! Why are you scared? When there is no bomb, it won't explode! - Correct! And if it exploded then you all will be in trouble. So one.. No! No! No! Two.. Where are you going? Three! There is no bomb here. If there was a bomb, it would have exploded. And if there was an explosion meaning there was a bomb! Yes! Yes! Yes! Quiet! Silence! If anybody speaks.. Papa! Papa! Who spoke up? Speak louder! Hail Goddess! Papa! Papa! - Say it again! Hail Goddess! I am asking who is making this noise! Papa! Papa! Who is stuck down? Papa, I forgot to say that this is a time bomb. What are you saying? - What! By mistake I got time bomb instead of remote bomb, papa. Then at what time will it explode? Uncle, at 6 o'clock! By the way papa, what's the time? Hang on! Hang on! 30 seconds to 6! It means one.. - Two.. Three. Papa, did the bomb explode? One, two, three. 'Pinto's bomb blasted the diamond.. ..And not the people into pieces.' 'Its said that nobody gets anything before the right time.. ..And more than what they deserve.' 'Everybody got their share of diamond.' 'What Laxminarayan one and Jia got.. ..With that they bought their share of restaurant from Munde.' 'Today too Laxmi's mother wants her son to be a shooter.' 'And she tells the same thing to every goon.' If this time he fails, he is not his father's son. Let me tell you. 'Laxminarayan two bought some shares of virus autos.. ..With his share and today he is the board of director in that company.' 'And his boss Pipat..' Pipat. - Yes, sir! I think we need to talk. - Yes, sir. Sit. Sir, on the chair or the sofa? - Chair. Left or right? - Left. Your left or my left? 'Laxminarayan three sells underwear.. ..And vest in a bus and not in a car.' 'And Laila is his brand ambassador! 'Mayawati Chowtala gave bribe with her share.. ..And she has become a jailor.' 'And her prisoners are Albert, Pinto, papa and Batlya.' 'Chandu and Chandni have bought the showroom from Laila.' 'And it's heard that they are going to marry soon.' 'But they are still running in the race of life.' 'To be one, two and three.' Subs By: aSTEEL Hello, I'm Professor Brian Boucher, and welcome to the first video in An Introduction to Financial Accounting. In this video, we're going to provide an overview of the financial reporting landscape, what's required in financial recording, who makes the rules, who enforces the rules, what are the basic set of financial statements. We've got a lot to get to in this course. And I'm really excited, so let's get started. Let's start with a definition. Accounting is a system for recording information about business transactions to provide summary statements of a company's financial position and performance to users who require such information. Wow,pleasetellmethewhole video won't be this boring. [LAUGH]I surehopenot . But to spice things up a little bit, I will bring in some virtual students every now and then to ask questions or make pithy comments. Anyway, this definition has three parts. The first part is recording transactions. This part turns out to be a big deal, as not everything a business does gets recorded in the financial statements. And sometimes, it'll seem like nothing's happening. Yet, we'll need to record a transaction anyway. The second part is about providing summary statements. Large companies have billions and billions of transactions every year. If they made them available to you in a gigantic database, your first question would be, how can I summarize all this into one or two summary numbers? And the third part focuses on users, because different user groups would want different summary numbers. So most companies have to keep three sets of books. Our focus in this course will be the first set of books or financial accounting. This standardized set of statements is geared towards external users, like investors, creditors, customers, suppliers, competitors, and any other stakeholder or person that has interest in the company. However, these financial statements are not used to determine taxes. There's a separate set of books based on tax rules that are used to compute how much taxes a company has to pay. These rules are often quite different from what we do in the financial statements. And we'll talk about this difference more later in the course. Finally, there's managerial accounting. This provides customized reports for internal decision making. We're not going to cover this topic in this course. But I want to make you aware of the fact that the financial accounting that we do talk about is generally not used for internal decision making, instead there are other kinds of numbers that are looked at. So what are the financial reporting requirements? The Securities and Exchange Commission or SEC requires periodic financial statement filings. Companies must file an annual report or 10-K once a year. This includes a full set of financial statements with a substantial amount of additional disclosure. This thing generally runs 2 to 300 pages. The other three quarters of the year, firms still file a quarterly report or 10-Q, which has a full set of financial statements but less required disclosure than the annual report. If anything material happens between quarter ends, companies must file an 8-K or current report. Material information is generally viewed as anything important enough to move stock price, which means companies file these quite often. They don't require the financial statements, just an update of whatever major corporate event has happened, something like, top manager resigns, or you lose a big customer, or there's a lawsuit, or something along those lines. All of these files have to be prepared in accordance with Generally Accepted Accounting Principles or GAAP. Excuseme,doesthisstuff only apply to U.S. companies? That'sa goodquestion. I should note that this will be a U.S. centric course, because I'm at a U.S. business school. However, the things that we cover will be applicable globally. So for instance, even though we're talking about SEC filing requirements in U.S., every country in the world that has a securities market has five requirements like an annual report. The only difference you might see internationally is instead of a quarterly report, some countries require semi-annual reporting. This also only formally applies to public companies. But private companies that need to go to a bank to borrow money often times are required to provide financial statements on a quarterly or annual frequency, because the banks are so used to getting financial statement information in that format and in that frequency. So this is a pretty universal set of filing requirements that apply to public and private companies around the world. These periodic filing requirements create much of the tension in financial accounting. For example let's say we ship goods to a customer in one quarter, but we collect cash in the next quarter. When did the sale occur? Was it when we shipped the goods or collected the cash? Let's say we buy some equipment in one quarter and then use it to manufacture goods over the next 23 quarters. When does the expense occur? When we pay cash to buy the equipment or as we use it over the next 23 quarters? A lot of what we're going to do in this course is try to figure out what quarter to put various business activities into, when we put together the financial statements. So, who makes the rules? Generally Accepted Accounting Principles or GAAP are established by the U.S. Congress. But, they're usually too busy trying to do things like investigating steroids in baseball or figuring out whether they should shut down the U.S. government again, that they don't have time to do accounting standards. So they delegate to the Securities and Exchange Commission. But they're often too busy trying to catch the bad guys, so they don't have time to make the rules. So they delegate to the Financial Accounting Standards Board or FASB, which is a seven-person board in Norwalk, Connecticut that has the authority to make accounting rules in the US. Now, sometimes, they're even too busy to make all the rules. And so there's an Emerging Issues Task Force and the AICPA that can also have a hand in making accounting rules or U.S. GAAP. Now, this is just in the US. Internationally, there are International Financial Reporting Standards or IFRS that are established by the International Accounting Standards Board or IASB, which is based in London, and are now required in over 100 countries, including all of the EU. But as of now, U.S. GAAP is still required for U.S. firms, so basically, there are two big sets of accounting standards in the world. But the good news is, for almost all of the introductory accounting topics that we look at in this course, there's a very high degree of overlap in the two standards. Whydoesn'ttheU.S. just switch to IFRS? DO you think there will ever be one global accounting standard? Actuallyinthesummerof2008, the SEC came out with a road map that would move U.S. firms to IFRS basically now. But then what happened was, Lehman Brothers went bankrupt, the financial crisis hit, and the road map dropped way off the SEC's radar screen. So for the foreseeable future, we're going to have two big sets of standards in the world, U.S. GAAP and IFRS. But as I just mentioned, the good news is the two standards are getting closer to each other all the time. The FASB and IASB are working together on any new standards. So all the stuff that we talked about that's under U.S. GAAP in this course, will be very similar to what you would see under IFRS. So who's responsible for financial reporting? Management is responsible for preparing financial statements. Wait! What? That is like a professor allowing students to give themselves their own grade. Everyone gets an A+! Yes,that'scorrect, we allow managers to put together their own financial statements because they have the most information about what happened in the company. And we hope that they use their discretion in financial reporting to better communicate their activities. However, it is important to remember that they may use this discretion to try to manipulate the perceptions, and we need to be on the lookout for such opportunistic behavior. So, we've put in a number of checks and balances to try to curb managers' opportunistic behavior. First, the Audit Committee of the Board of Directors provides oversight of management's accounting process. However, this is not a foolproof check on managements behavior. One of the biggest financial statement fudge ever was Enron. And the head of their Audit Committee was, was a guy who's full-time job was Accounting Professor, which means you could put someone like me on the board and still have these kinds of problems. So then the auditors are hired by the board to express an opinion about whether the statements are prepared in accordance with GAAP. This again is not foolproof because in the case of Enron, their auditor, Arthur Andersen, signed off on some of the more aggressive things they did. And part of the reason was because they were being hired by Enron to approve their accounting. If they lost Enron because of a disagreement over their accounting, then they would have lost the biggest company in Houston, and would have to go to the second biggest company in Houston which is, exactly, who knows what the second biggest company in Houston is. And that's why they want to make sure to keep Enron. The next line of defense is the SEC and other regulators who will take action against the firm if any violations of GAAP or other rules are found. Now these bodies tend to be very reactive instead of proactive. And it's often times after someone else has brought the fraud to the public's attention that they launched their investigation. So by and large it's information intermediaries like stock analysts, institutional investors, and the media that provide the biggest check on manager's behavior by either exposing or fleeing firms with questionable accounting. But by the time one of these parties get involved, it's a very public issue, the stock price drops, and you're in bad shape if you're an investor or employee of the company. So in the end, the only party that's really going to look out for your interest in terms of understanding and trusting financial statements is you, which is why it's really important that you learn some basics in terms of reading financial statements. So what are the required financial statements? Well, there's four of them. First, there's a balance sheet, which gives a company's financial position, which is its listing of all its resources and obligations on a specific date. Then there's the income statement, which provides the results of operations over a period of time using accrual accounting. By over a period of time, we mean between two balance sheets, so either a quarter or a year. And by accrual accounting, it means we're going to recognize things in the income statement based on business activities, not based on cash flows. Because we have a separate statement for cash flows, the statement of cash flows, which will give you all the sources and uses of cash over a period of time. And then finally, there's the statement of stockholders equity which provides changes in stockholder's equity over a period of time. okay. Could we get an example? This is pretty abstract. Yesinfact,Ihave anextendedexample where we go through a simple business and see what the different financial statements call tell us about what's going on at the business. But it takes another 10 minutes or so. So to avoid this being a long first video, why don't we cut it off here and we'll pick it up in the next video. I'll see you then. Seeyounextvideo. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. Kinotur Studio presents a "Kinovidrodzhennya" Production A film based on Alexander Turchynov's novel "The Illusion of Fear" Andrey Panin Alexey Petrenko Alyona Babenko Sergey Garmash Inga Oboldyna Alexey Gorbunov Alexander Semchev David Babayev Written by Alexander Turchynov and Yuriy Butusov Director of Photography - Sergey Mykhalchuk - Bonjour, partner. How was Paris? Bonjour, ça va. I'm not there yet. I see. I've found a buyer for our mega-centre. There will be no sale. You'll love the price. I'll demolish a few more houses and build as many mega-centres as I wish. As you say. But let's meet and talk it over. Please don't conduct negotiations behind my back. What negotiations? Hello? Let's meet. Hello? An Alexander Kirienko film Partner! THE ILLUSION OF FEAR - Any problems? -The entrance is closed. It must be opened, then. It's not possible. We're waiting for a government delegation. But we're running late! I'll see to that now. What are you doing? You! I told you we're running late. Understand? You can lose your driver's license for that! You don't have the authority. We have a charter flight! I heard you. But I can't do anything. OK? It's not far to the terminal. You can walk there. Walk there yourself! If I let just one car in I'll be fired! Hey you... Stop that! Come on! It's alright. I'll walk. Igor Alexandrovitch? King Solomon, the poor of the city are waiting for you with a petition to stop the construction of the altar of sacrifice to Moloch. The main instigators are here and waiting for your mercy. I build altars to all the gods, because a human is weak. One should go to the nearest temple of any kind in a moment of weakness. Maybe I shouldn't hurry about Moloch? Wise Solomon, people believe in your fairness. Don't let doubts poison your grand design. The law will protect you from your enemies, because what you believe in will always become law. King, here are the petitioners from the city! Great King! You're building a temple for pagan filth. New sacrifices will bring not glory, but fear. The treasury has already paid for the building of the altar to Moloch. Temples are expensive nowadays. I'm decorating this city to glorify it. Great King! There are madmen, who being blind, will worship the new idol. Get him out of here! Don't build the altar to Moloch! The pagan filth will destroy you and all of us! Glory to wise Solomon! Hurray to our King! Hurray to our King! Hurray! What was there will go on. What has been done will be done again. There is nothing new under the sun. Hurray to our King! Hurray to our King! Have you come to your senses, you son of a bitch? Where am I? What are you babbling? Wait. Let him drink a bit. We won't tell anyone about it. - Who are you? - We? We're the modest employees of our respected police. I'm the Major and Seryozha is Captain. - What are you incriminating me for? - What words you know! You'll tell us yourself what we're incriminating you for. You have no right to... Call her in. Sergeant? Bring the victim in. Do you recognise this man? I do. - Did he rape you perversely? - Yes he did. Tell us about it. What shall I tell you? What shall I repeat it for? I was standing on the road waiting for a ride to the city. A foreign car stopped.The door was opened. - And? - A man offered to give me a lift. The man was decent-looking, in an expensive suit. So I got in. We passed a few kilometres. Then he turned off the road and raped me. That's all. You may go free. You'll sign the protocol of identification later. She was your Statute 153 and a straight road to the rooster house. In a blink of an eye a rusty shank will be stuck in your hemorrhoidal ass... What do you want of me? Transfer the title to your mega-centre We will make you neither a dead man nor a convict then. A few our favors against one of yours. -These are good terms, agree to them! - No. Nod your head, if you don't want to piss blood until the end of your life. - All right! Good. Go to the cell and have a rest. Call for Seryozha and me when you're ready to go to the notary. Is it a deal? Don't! Don't! Get in! Sit down. I'm Petrovskiy Viktor Appolinarievich. What is your name? Korob. Your first name? - Igor Alexandrovitch. - Igor Alexandrovitch. Nice to meet you on our territory. Damn it! I didn't know that I would surrender so quickly! Did you sign everything that they demanded? You were right to do so. They could have killed you. Listen to me, old man. Life is more valuable than the money. You'll earn it again. You're still young. If you lose something you'll earn it back, if you are healthy. Sure... But this is not the most important thing in life. What is most important in life? To live in harmony with yourself and feel free. We seem to have problems with that. You're wrong. This is the first place I have felt truly free. You're joking, aren't you? No. You only value what you lose forever. We have lost the illusion of freedom. But we were never free in reality. We had some troubles and communal inconveniences. Freedom is the ability not to depend on circumstances. It is the ability to think. It is victory over your fears. Do you ever feel fear? Sometimes. Freedom has nothing to do with bars and locks. Somebody gave an order to do away with me. Who did it? My business partner? He has been dreaming of getting rid of me for a long time. Sell the control package of shares. The Americans are offering great money for it. Sell your shares to me. I'll buy them. May be it was Marmazin? He is an oil-trader. He is an authority. - Hey, bro! - He feeds the cops from his hand. He is buying all the real estate he can get his hands on. How much do you want for it? This is not a gas filling station. The mega-centre is not for sale. I won't offer it twice. I'm not a parrot either. - Goodbye! - Goodbye! Why are you standing here? Get in the cars and let's go! Illychenko could have done it too. He is a new oligarch and a member of parliament. This issue will be decided at the highest level. I respect you and the highest level. But it seems to me that we're living in a democratic country, aren't we? We are. But democracy is not permissiveness. One may pay dearly for one's self-confidence. I agree with you. Do you know how I got here? I headed a department in a mental hospital. I was to retire in a year. I was silly enough not to acknowledge the fact that a young mediocre specialist had bought the post of the head doctor and stolen everything in the hospital away. I wrote to the Ministry of Health and to the General Prosecutor's Office about it. So here I am! I'm waiting for the court hearing with broken ribs. I'm accused of dealing drugs. But I'm grateful to those who sent me here. For here I got to know what real freedom is. I have lots of free time. I read the Bible from beginning to end here for the first time both the Old and the New Testaments. Don't you hate those who broke your ribs? Our torturers are very unhappy people. They don't know what they are doing and are subjecting themselves to eternal suffering. I'm living here and now and not elsewhere! And God for me... I beg your pardon. If you don't believe in God what do you believe in? I believe that there is God. But he doesn't give a damn for me and my troubles! Stop shouting! I can't sleep. It's time to go to sleep. You had a rough day today. Solomon, your decisions frighten me. The petitioner is right. You're not building a road to God. You're building a wall of fear. Hundreds of people bow to me. Fear is the only thing that makes them succumb to me and create something. Piss faster! Why are you jumping around like a drunken kangaroo? He shoved me. Who? He... there he is sitting. In black. He is staring at me all the time. Calm down.Tell me who is staring at you? The man in black sitting on a toilet. He is holding a piece of paper in his hand. Close your eyes and touch your nose first with your right and then with your left hand. Are you making an idiot out of me? You do have problems. Has it ever happened to you before? This is paranoia.The signs of schizophrenia. Really? Here he is! Calm down. Give the mega-centre away! Open the door! I'll sign everything! Call for the notary! I'll sign everything! Mommy, why is this man sleeping? Don't stop. Come on! The seagulls! The seagulls! Yes, the gulls! Look! Come here, daughter! Hey, seagulls! Fly over to us! Be careful! Lets do it together! Hello, Igor Alexandrovitch. Igor Alexandrovitch? Hello. How was Paris? Hello. Is Sotnik here? Do we have problems, Igor Alexandrovitch? Other people will have problems. Hello, my dear wife. Hello, Natasha! Natasha, are you drunk again? You disappeared for a few days again and didn't even call. What was I to do? Who am I to you? An empty place? I'm sitting here in depression and you're waiting for me to serve to you! Great King! People who love you caught criminals! The people are waiting for you judgement, Solomon! Who are these people? They are your enemies, great King. They have destroyed the new sacrifial altar that you built. In darkness the earth trembles. I said to them: "Gods, sons of the Lord! You're gods but you live like humans and will fall like all the kings." The King has ruled to execute the criminals. Execute them! You are the one who should be judged, Solomon! Let this execution be a lesson to everyone who dares go against the works of the great King Solomon! Let justice be done! It is easy to kill with other people's hands. Remember your fear, Solomon. It will become your sentence. Solomon! Our blood is your vanity. Today you will see us and tomorrow we will see you. I think they deserve your mercy. They are enemies of the state. They believe in you. And you make them believe in a sin. I may forgive my enemies but not the enemies of the state. Turn to the bureaucrats we know. Re-register all the statutory documents documents and backdate them. Pay to whoever you need. Stop our offshore transactions. Cash in our current accounts. All of them. Get all the accounts out of the office. How can they use your signature? How do I know? Intensify the supervision over the employees. I think there is a spy in the office. I'm meeting the Police Commissioner today. I think he'll explain it to me. Have you been waiting for me for long? You're mistaken. I wasn't waiting for you. You're the one who is mistaken. Did you want to have the property that didn't really belong to you forever? Prepare the papers for the new owner. Don't you get informal with me! And tell your masters that we'll talk in the arbitration hearing. Don't you sneer at me! There are people who will show you who is who. You either tell me who I'm dealing with or get out of here! Your Commissioner won't come and save you. He received orders and and left on a long business trip. You have one day. Prepare the transfer documents. If you shout and twist we'll take away everything to your last pair of pants. We'll crush you like a bug. Don't get accustomed to delicacies. It'll be hard for you to get used to prison food. Anything else? Catch that brat, be quick! - Whom do you mean? -That Major! Be quick! I was at the door. Nobody came in or out. Nobody? You slept on duty, didn't you? No. Nobody came in. The second post. We're clear. There is nobody here. The third post. We're clear. Really, Igor Alexandrovitch... Nobody came in. Get out of here! This is me! Igor? What... Where are you going? Stop! Stop! Igor! It's fine. We need to backdate the papers for title to the mega-centre in your name. What for? We need to backdate the papers in your name! Calm down please. It's all right. They won't get anything. I won't let them do it to me. They won't get anything. That's how the business is done. - What is he saying? - He may say lots of things. Igor... Don't do anything to me please. I would have given you the 500 thousand from the last contract myself if you had called me. There was nothing between your wife and me. I just danced with her, and that's all. Everything else is a lie! Did you find any papers with my signature? No, we found nothing so far. May be you should turn to the police officials? It was a real attack. So crazy! I got confused. Where are the real people? Where are the images I created? I'm scared. May be I shall forget about it all and start painting again. I showed promise, didn't I? Garik, you're my best friend. I need your help. The situation is difficult but not hopeless. But if you drink so much you'll get delirium tremens instead of schizophrenia. You're joking and I don't want to live. I'm dreaming that I'm King Solomon. May be you are Tsar Solomon. May be all your troubles are just a dream. Solomon was not a bad guy. I wouldn't brush him aside if I were you. What Solomon? May be I'm a schizophrenic indeed but I can still tell a dream from reality. If you weren't such a cynic you'd tell what is real and what is not. If you had just a bit of faith you'd find the key to your problems. What advice can I give you? Turn to a doctor or to a prosecutor. I feel unwell. A medic! I have nightmares. You're too busy, King. You should take more rest and enjoy yourself more. Change your wives more often. You have the same advice for every cause. I need a real cure. There is one effective cure from your illness. It is a sacrifice to Moloch. Moloch is waiting for fresh blood. I am not a pagan. Moloch is the only one who can help you. Try it! Yes, everything has been performed and signed. Goodbye. Whom did you call? Nobody. Why aren't you sleeping? I see Solomon and police in my dreams. What police? What Solomon? You need to have a good sleep. I'm very tired. I'll be upstairs. The cerebral cortex is not damaged. Frankly speaking I don't even see the consequences of that terrible beating you told me about. I don't think that you have hallucinations. - Why? - It's very simple. That waiter must have gone out for a moment and then lied to you seeing how angry you were. Why do you believe him more than yourself? It's weird. May be it's connected with your low self-esteem. And behind the bars... What was the surname of that imprisoned doctor? - Petrovskiy. - Petrovskiy? Oleg, please bring the analyses. Petrovskiy... No, I don't know such a psychiatrist. I suppose that he invented that story. They love doing such things in such establishments. That man didn't look like a typical convict. He was intelligent and aged. All right, all right. If it wasn't a joke why do you think that you and not your face-to-face contact had problems with reality perception? He is old and was beaten. May be he fell sick, imagined that he was a physiatrist and started treating you. Maybe the convict whom you believe to be the invention of your mind was indeed in your cell. I have seen thousands of mental cases. You have nothing in common with them. When did you last have rest? In prison. That's the core of your troubles. Take a vacation! Have some rest. Go to the sea and then come to me in a couple of weeks. Will you be able to come on the 29th in 5 p.m.? - Yes. - Brilliant! Good luck to you. Good bye. Good bye. What do we have here? We checked your information. You've never been detained by the police authorities. You were never put behind the bars. You were never accused of anything. There is no criminal case against you. You were never summoned to the police even as a witness. But I was arrested by the police! There was a major and a captain there who beat me and tortured me. Then they called in a false witness and I was forced to confess to raping her! Did you see their IDs? Their surnames? Their posts? Do you know the address where it all had happened? I saw no IDs. I didn't see that place because they took me to it and out of it unconscious. They beat me first and drugged me with something later. It's very strange. You don't know their surnames. You don't know the address. You don't remember where it happened. You didn't make a photo of your bruises. You didn't get a blood test to identify the drugs you were given. You turned to us a week after it all happened. Please state the facts on which I should open a criminal case. What case? Don't you understand that your police are trying to take away my business, my property - everything that I have! Your police are blackmailing me! Who? Who is blackmailing you? Who? What are you involving the police officers into your business for? Do you understand that you couldn't have been detained without any official documents, a warrant or something like that? It's nonsense! Nonsense! There was one doctor in my cell. May be you can identify that prison by finding him? What is that doctor's surname? Petrovskiy... Viktor Apolinaryevitch. The tailor has come and is waiting. Petrovskiy. Viktor Apolinaryevitch. What was he accused of? I don't know exactly. Something connected with illegal drugs. He is a doctor and he quarrelled with his boss... - His age? - About sixty. Check it through all the channels. Tell the tailor to come in. All right. You may write a statement to initiate the criminal proceedings. You may turn to the district police department or to the district prosecutor's office. Well... Viktor Apolinaryevitch Petrovskiy has never been detained or accused of criminal activities. No man under such name has been to any prison in our region. As you can see I don't know how we might help you. We investigate serious crimes, but your case does not seem to be in our department. What do you mean? I mean that your story resembles a case history to me. I beg your pardon. Thank you. Isn't it too short? Igor Alexandrovich? I knew we would meet again! It's a miracle! God heard my prayers! Here is a release certificate with signatures and stamps. I'm a victim of arbitrariness! That head doctor quarrelled with somebody. Criminal proceedings were instigated against him and he got fired. Not only was I released, I was restored to my work place. They'll even pay me my wages for the entire period of my absence. I got so lucky! So we were in the prison of the neighbouring region! Let's go to the prosecutor! I'll prove them that I'm not crazy! What are you doing? You won't prove anything to them. You'll only create more problems for yourself and for me. The man who ordered you locked up is very influential. Illegal detention means nothing to them. Do you exist in reality or not? Don't surrender! Don't surrender! Despair and fear are the illness itself. It's the madness! Do you have conscience or not? You don't answer your mobile. Nobody knows where you are. I'm nervous! Have you forgotten that we're going to Paris? I can't go to Paris now. Take some rest there without me for a few days. No. - I have an important meeting. - No! You promised to spend two days with me. Why are you sitting here? Who are you meeting with, if it's not a secret? It's not a secret. I'm meeting with Garik. - With Garik... - Yes. This meeting is more important to me than to him. So Garik can't wait, can he? Why do you react in such a way? Lets go. - What? - Let's go, I say! I'll give you a lift. His place is on my way. Close the bag, let's go. I got used to your lies. I got used to the fact that you have affairs with other women. But I can't get used to your cynicism and your perverse cruelty. What women? What cynicism? You've been telling me about meetings with your best friend, your former classmate Garik for a long time. I couldn't never understand why you don't want to introduce us to each other. Why won't you invite him to our house? What does Garik have to do with it? Don't interrupt me! I'm fed up with it! I got interested. I started gathering information about Garik, his family and work. I found some data. Come and look. He's gone. He died the next year after your graduation. He died almost 30 years ago. Your best friend died. You could have invented something more convincing and not use such cruel lie. I'm leaving. I can't live like this any longer. I'm so scared with you! - Hello? - Hello? Hi, old man! Garik! Is that you? It's me. Who else could it be? What's wrong with your voice? - Aren't you dead? - What? Who is dead? Are you drunk again? You're dead. Well... You died and I went crazy. But you're talking to me. Let's meet at our usual place. What a fool! Moloch! Moloch! Moloch! Moloch! No! Don't do it! No! Be quick! Run there! Here she is! You didn't expect it, did you? I knew that it was not delirium! I knew it. You'll tell me everything now! You'll sign everything off to me! How much did you get for it? How much was your price? You're the one who sold your soul. You! You didn't rape me. You stole my life away. You killed my son. He could have lived. He could have been saved. But you demolished the hospital. What did you do it for? You did it for the sake of your damned mega-center. Save our children! Korob is the killer! Why are you standing? How does one start this engine? I have cursed you. You won't forget your fears until you disappear. I cursed you. Solomon? What are you doing? Whom are you sacrificing our children for? You betrayed God. Pestilence, diseases and troubles are happening because of you. Your betrayal will bring blood and sufferings to our people. You betrayed, you betrayed... I don't know what to do, Garik. I thought that I had one person who could help me. But it turned out that he is dead. I'm alive, thank God. Stop that! I know that I'm ill. You and many other people don't exist. You're looking for reality in an unreal world. It's like looking for God for He is the only reality. Do you get it? The rest is the illusion of the Creator. Garik, shut up! You're dead. May be you died? Maybe you were devoured by your mega-centre. I look at your paying for your wealth. I think I made a right decision. I built my own real world, my family and my life. But I'm grateful to you. I won't be happy without you. Mom, mommy, I've found Daddy! Dad, we've been looking for you. Look at the stones I've gathered! Igor, what is this? You've spent two hours in the cold wind with your bronchitis! But I finished my sketch. Now I know what my new painting will look like. You're like a child. Let's go home. Farewell! I hope you'll overcome your fears. Are you talking to yourself again? Anya? Anya? Anechka? Show me your sketch. It's nothing special. It's beautiful. Hello, partner! How was Paris? - Any problems? -The entrance is closed. It must be opened, then. It's not possible. We're waiting for a government delegation But we're running late! I'll see to that now. What are you doing? You! I told you we're running late. We have a charter flight! You can lose your driver's license for that! Do you know who is in the car? I heard you. But I can't do anything. OK? It's not far to the terminal. You can walk there. Igor Alexandrovitch? # I'm going down to South Park # # Gonna have myself a time # # Friendly faces everywhere # # Humble folks without temptation # # Going down to South Park # # Gonna leave my woes behind # # Ample parking day or night # # People spouting "howdy neighbor" # # Headed on up to South Park # # Gonna see if I can't unwind # # Come on down to South Park # # And meet some friends of mine # Ha ha haaa! Look at Kenny's lunch! A bologna sandwich and water! Ha haaa! Goddamn, your family's poor, dude! Hey, you fellas wanna go see High School Musical 3 tonight? ! A bunch of kids from school are gonna go see it again! What's High School Musical 3? You know, the sequel to High School Musical 1 and 2. What's High School Musical 1 and 2? There's not even condiments on his bologna sandwich! Ha haahah! What's High School Musical 1 and-- dude, it's only the most popular thing with kids in our age group! Yeah, where the hell have you guys been? Peru. And then I saw High School Musical 3 again on Friday, and guess who was there... Bridon Gueermo. Bridon Gueermo-- oh, he's such a dream! I'd give anything to be with Bridon Gueermo. But he'd never go for me, I'm nobody. That's not true, Red. Everyone has something that makes them unique. # Everyone is special # # In their own way # # Move to the beat and let your spirit out # # As long as we've got each other # # We'll never have any trouble # # That's what bein' friends is about # # Oh yeah # # Everyone is special # # In their own way # # And we'll always be together as one... # What the hell are they doing? I have no idea. #... together we'll stay # # And every kidin school # # Is special in their own way # Dude, girls are such fags. # Oh yeah, oh yeah # # Boys # # Are special in their own way # # Girls # # Are special like a birthday # # We'll always be dancin' # # And singin' it loud # # Aah # Ahh # # Ahh # # Ahhhh # Here he comes! # I like havin' fun # # In the hot summer sun # # And grooving to the beat # # When my homework is all done # # If you ask me what I know... # Who the hell is that? That's Bridon Gueermo. He's just a third grader, but he can sing and dance better than anybody! He's already seen High School Musical 3 over 100 times! #... everyone is special in their own way # # Special in their own way # # Let it out party people # Are we the only ones here who are completely confused? Yeah, I guess we better check that movie out. # You got to go with the status quo # # If you wanna be a regular joe # # Come on now # # And your dreams are only a beat away # # Don't let 'em tell you no # # You got to go with the status quo # # Keep singin' about the status quo # # That's the phrase we know # # Get down now... # This... is cool? # Sing about what we know # This is cool? We are really getting old, you guys. # Goin' with the status # # Go with the status quo # # Go with the status # # 'cause that's where we should go... # It says this D.V.D. sold more copies than any D.V.D. ever made. They just released part three in theaters and it made 80 million opening weekend. Well, I'm out, guys. If this is what's cool now, I think I'm done. I no longer have any connection to this world. I'm gonna go home and kill myself. Good-bye, friends. I don't care how popular being like these kids becomes, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it either- - Kenny? No fucking way I'm doing it. All right, we promise? We have to swear to each other right now we'll never become this. - I swear. - I swear too. Okay, good. What happened, I thought you were gonna kill yourself. I tried. Went to sleep in my Mom's car in the garage with the engine turned on. But you didn't die? Freakin' hybrids, man. They just don't do the trick anymore. All right, kids in seats, kids in seats. Today we are going to discuss the Berlin Wall. This was a wall in Germany that actually separated the communist east side and the democratic west side. # East side west side # # Whatever side that you're on # # As long as we care about each other # # We can still all have some fun... # Oh, man. # Don't sweat what you might get # # By seeing the other side as a threat... # Oh, you kids! # We gotta learn to all get along # # East side west side # # It doesn't matter to me # # We gotta learn to power through and set each other free # # Don't care what other people wear # # Or the way they like to style their hair # # Neither side is right or wrong, that's why we got to all get along # God, this sucks! Do you feel like maybe you're l-l-losing her, S-Stan? I don't know. There's nothing I can do about it anyway. Maybe you should just talk to her. You know, a little conversation. Tell her what you feel. # Sometimes ya feel like there's a b-b-burnin' inside ya like a-- # Just stop. All righty then. Uh, Wendy... Hey, Stan. Look, I just want you to know, if you want to, you know, be with that Bridon kid, then you should. What? I mean, I see the way you two are together and I don't wanna be in your way. Stan, that's ridiculous. - It is? - I would never leave you for Bridon. - Really? - No way! That'd be stupid! I wouldn't have a chance with Bridon. He can be with any girl he wants! There you go. Feel better, p-pal? What am I supposed to do? I can't just sit back and watch some kid steal my girlfriend away. I mean, Wendy says she'd never leave me for him, but what if she just doesn't wanna hurt my feelings? She said he could get any girl he wants, and that means if he wanted, he could have my girl. This is all so crazy. I mean, really, how could my day get any worse? No, no-- no, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it! No, fuck off, I'm not doing it! Aw, jeez, you're no fun. - Hey, Bridon! - Hey. - Hi, Bridon. - Hi. Hey, Bridon! Hey. Hey, kid, over here. Hey, uh, listen... You know this whole singing and dancing thing you do, I think you need to, uh, ease off a little bit. Huh? Yeah, look, I know you think the kids in school like you, but actually they're all getting really annoyed. - They are? - Yeah, you don't know 'cause you're just a third grader, but take it from me, you're driving everyone crazy. I don't blame them. All that singing and dancing-- I can't stand it. You don't like doing it? It just isn't me. What I really wanna do is just play basketball. Basketball? I love it, always have. I never miss a game on TV-- when my Dad isn't making me rehearse. I'd love to quit singing and dancing forever and just play ball. Dude, you should do that. You should join the basketball team right now. - I can't. - Yes, you can. What's stopping you? It's my Dad. He thinks basketball is for sissies. If I don't do what he wants, he beats me. No, dude, listen, you need to take a stand and tell your Dad what you want. Really? When you grow up and you're a fourth grader, you'll understand that you have to be tough and direct with your parents. Go to your Dad and tell him you wanna give up singing and dancing and join the basketball team. You know, you're right. I'm gonna talk to my old man tonight. Sweet. Sit up properly, Bridon. You know how strict your father is about posture. All right, dear, dinner's ready. Okay, let's eat! Dad, I need to talk to you about something. Ooh, that sounds emotional! # What is it son # # What's on your mind # # Whatever it is, you know your Dad has the time # No, Dad, can we just talk? # If you can talk it you can sing it # # You can lay down the rhythm and bring it # # Just put a melody to the words # # That you're sayin' and soon you'll be-- # Dad, I wanna join the basketball team. What did you say? This kid at school today told me I should do what I wanna do. That's what I really wanna do. Basketball? ! No son of mine is going to be a sweaty little jock! But, Dad, it's what I really want. There's no singing and dancing in basketball! I know, that's kind of why I like it. Don't you even think about it! If I had a jock for a son, I'd be the laughing stock of the men's choir club! It's my life, Dad! Don't make me slap you. I will slap your face so super hard! I am the man of this house! You disrespect me and you're gonna get slapped! Maybe you should let him try it. What did you say, woman? ! You aren't being fair. That's it! I'm gonna slap you! No, please! # I slap you I slap you # # I slap, slap, slap you # # I'm slappin' you slapping' you silly 'cause you disrespected me # You guys, I need to copy your math homework before class. You're not copying my homework, you lazy turd. Fuck you, Kyle! # And you know # - # We're together at school again # - # School again # # With all of our friends... # Aww! # We'll be doing this forever... # Ugh, God, shut up! # What a special day... # Shut up, shut up, shut up! # Never # # Going away # Hey, kid, what happened? I thought you didn't wanna sing and dance anymore. Yeah, well, my Dad blew a gasket when I told him, and then he beat my Mom. Dude, what did I tell you? You have to be tough and stand up for yourself! Mr. Garret, Mr. Garret! This kid wants to join the basketball team. He's really good. Really? Look, I should be getting to class. Hey, we sure could use you, kid. I can never find enough kids that wanna play ball. All the kids and the school funding goes to the theater department. You see? They need you. This is fate, kid-- fate. I don't know. Look, just come in at recess and shoot some balls with the team. Yeah, just go in at recess and shoot some balls with the team, Goddamn it. Okay. Hey, that's great, Bridon! Thanks! We might have a chance at winning now! Bridon! # What are ya doing here # # What are ya doing here # # Ba-bow, ba-bow ba-bow # Dad, I was just messing around. I drove by the school and saw kids on the playground doing a music number and you weren't there! You're here in the sports gym shooting basket hoops! Hey, your kid is really good at this. Don't talk to me, stupid jock asshole! Just go easy on him, huh? You know what this means? ! It means you're about to get slapped. So you better shut up! If he wants to play ball, you should let him. I'll do it! I'll slap the shit outta you! He's just a kid. You don't tell me how to raise my son! I'll slap it again. Dad, stop! You're trying to turn my son into a little asshole sports person like yourself! There, there's another slap. Maybe you'll think next time you act you--- Slap it, I slap it! Ow, Dad! Dad, you're hurting me! Shut up, Bridon! Uh, what's going on here, Mr. Gueermo? Get outta my way, Mackey! You want a piece a this? ! I'll slap everyone in this Goddamn school if I have to! You are never going to play shooty hoops! Do you understand? ! You are gonna sing and dance and be the best at it! You're hurting my arm! Ah, shit. Oh, that's good, that's good. Yeah, shoot that guy in the face, Kyle. Yeah, nice. You guys...this High School Musical thing isn't gonna go away. I think we better just get on-board with it. What? ! Are you crazy? No way, dude. We promised each other we would never do that. - Remember? - Yeah! I know, but I think we're really starting to become outcasts at school. We're losing all our credibility. I mean, look at who you guys are hanging out with now. Scott Malkinson, for Christ's sake! What so bad about hanging out with me? Shut up, Scott Malkinson. I'm Scott Malkinson. I've got a lisp and I've got diabetes. Hey, don't make fun of my diabetes. Don't make fun of my diabetes. I'm Scott Malkinson. You can rip on him, but you guys are hanging out with him. Doesn't that make you think maybe your clout at school has slipped a little? Stan, you're just jealous of that third grader and you think Wendy's gonna go for him unless you start singing and dancing too. Yeah. That isn't true! Okay, that's totally true. But, you guys, we are at risk of becoming the unpopular kids. Hey, that was supposed to be my power-up pack. That was supposed to be my power-up pack. I'm Scott Malkinson, I have diabetes. # Ya-da-da ya-da-da # # Ya-da-da da-da-da-da-da # # High School Musical is so awesome-- # Mr. Gueermo? What? ! We're from child-protective services. There's some concern you might be physically abusing your child. What? ! Who the hell's been saying that? ! We got a phone call from a concerned student who wishes to remain anonymous. His name is Stan Marsh. You better just turn your asses around and get back in your little car 'cause there's a world of hurt about to come your way. Mr. Gueermo we need to come in and have a word with your son. Oh, by all means. You got the balls to come in here, do it. Do it. Hello, Bridon, my name is Mr. Kelly. We just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes, if that's okay, and just maybe-- Yeah, there it is! Slapped you! You probably think I'm finished, huh? ! No, there's another one! Oh, my God! Don't worry, bitch, I didn't forget about you! There's a slap for you! Slap, slap, slap! Yeah, there you go! Here's a little "reach around the back of the head" slap! Oh, God, please! You have to get away, he won't ever stop! Oh, I'm going slap happy! # I'm goin' slap, slap happy # # Slappity slappin' you # # Teachin' you a lesson for comin' in my house # What are you looking at, Robertson? ! They're here! The audition results for the school musical are in! Hey, you got the lead, Wendy! - All right! - All right, Wendy! Who's the male lead? No surprise there, it's Bridon! - All right, Bridon! - Cool, Bridon! I get to be a stand-in! Congratulations, Bridon! Guess we'll be working a lot together! Yeah, great. Goddamn it! No matter what I do, this kid just won't stop. And now they're gonna be in a show together? ! Jesus, it's all over for me. They'll probably even have a kissing scene! What did I do to deserve this? And what am I supposed to do now? # Someone's # # In the kitchen with Dinah # # Someone's in the kitchen I know # # Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah # # Strummin' on the old banjo # # And goin' fe fi fiddley oh # # Fi fi fiddley I ohhhhhh # # Fe fi fiddley I ohhhhh # # Strummin' on the ol' banjo # # Jo jo # # Go tell Aunt Rhodie # # Go tell Aunt Rhodie # # Go tell Aunt Rhodie # # The old gray goose is... # # Happy birthday to you # # Happy birthday to... # # Can you hear the rhythm # # Now is the time the time # # It's time to go to bed # # Yes time to call it a day # # You can reach the stars-- # Oh, please you have to do something! What are you interrupting me for? ! It's our son, he's running away! What? ! # What's going on here # # What's this all about # # What do you think you're doing # Dad, I'm sick of you trying to always-- No, no, sing it! No, I'm sick of singing! # Can you believe it? What'd he just say? # # What's the matter with kids these days? # # Kids these days # # Kids these days # Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! Just go right back to your room and sing a ballad, mister! Just let me go! Go ahead... make my day. You get upstairs, or I will slap you until there's little red handprints all over your face. Ahgghgh! Oh, my God, what was that? ! Did you see that? ! Oh, my God, it hurt so bad! Agh! What the "h" is going on? ! What are you doing? This is crazy! Well, I had to see it to believe it! I told you, guys. He's been watchin High School Musical over and over again. Actually, this is High School Musical 2. It has a dance-along part. We said we wouldn't be a part of this fad and look at you! Yeah, look at yourself, man! Look, you guys might be fine with being outcasts and hanging out with Scott Malkinson, but I'm not. You know what, at least Scott Malkinson has some self-respect! At least Scott Malkinson doesn't cave in to peer pressure and start doing musicals! Scott Malkinson has a lisp and diabetes! Nobody's gonna let him do a musical! That's enough, you guys, it's not cool. Lots of kids have diabetes, and you shouldn't be-- You shouldn't rip on kids with diabetes, that's not cool. I'm Scott Malkinson. Look, guys, the world is changing. We can't fight it, we have to change with it. I've been watching these movies and from the looks of it, there's gonna be a lot more singing and dancing when we get to high school. And if you think we'll gain any respect by ignoring this thing and be individuals, then think about this-- right now, everyone thinks Butters... is way cooler than any of you. That's a low blow, Stan. Third team foul on West Jeff Bobcats, m'kay. Ball goes back over to the Cows. All right, you ready to get in there, Bridon? ! I'm ready, coach. Give em' hell! Just a minute to go in the first quarter. # Hey # # Hey # # Hey # # Hey # # We will we will # # Rock you # # Sing it # # We will we will... # Hey, Bridon, how come you weren't at musical rehearsals last night? I joined the basketball team. I gave up singing and dancing forever. I'm just not into it. You gave it up? That's right. You know, sometimes you just have to go with what your heart tells you. There's things we're all good at and we can't just keep them bottled up inside. # 'Cause you got to do what you wanna do # # Don't let nothin' get in your way # # Chase your dream every day # # True girl you know it's true # # That if you really wanna be you # # You gotta do what you wanna do # # He was unhappy # # 'Cause he just wanted to play ball # # But he finally got the courage # # To answer his heart's call # # Just like me all I ever wanted # # Was to sing and dance # # And now that I stood up for my dream # # I finally have the chance # # You gotta do what you wanna do # # Even if other people # # Don't really want you to # # True girl you know it's true # # That the thing you want to do # # Is the thing that you should do # # Some kids think I'm strange # # 'cause I like studying for an exam # # But I don't let that bother me # # Because it's who I am # # And I like nothing better than # # Making fun of Jews # # And ripping on black people # # Though some people think it's rude, but you gotta # # Do what you wanna do # # Just make sure that what you're doing # # Is what's cool and popular with everyone else # # Chew baby chew and chew... # Hey, Bridon, can we watch you practice basketball? Uh, sure. Do what you want don't have restraint. Don't stress about it or you just might faint You gotta do what you wanna do # Do what you wanna do # # As long as what you wanna do # # Is what everybody wants you to # # Glue baby buy some glue # # Just in case what you're doing... # Hey, guys. Hey, guys! Huh? Where'd everybody go? The girls all wanted to go watch that Bridon kid practice basketball. But the girls like singing and dancing. No, I think the girls just like that Bridon kid, no matter what he does. But...no, we just-- no, no, wait! South Park Subtitles: reaper Look at Kenny's lunch. A baloney sandwitch and water. God damn, your family's poor, dude. Hey you, fellas, wanna go see High School Musical three tonight? Bunch of kids from school are gonna go see it again. What's High School Musical three? You know, a sequel to High School Musical one and two. What's High School Musical one and two? This- - This is not even condom its only's baloney sandwitch. What's High School Musical one- - DUDE! Its only V most popular thing with kids in our age group. Yeah! Where the hell are you guys-- b-been? Peru. And then I saw High School Musical three again on friday and guess who was there. Briden Gueermo. Briden Gueermo, oh, he's such a dream. I'd give anything to be with Briden Gueermo. But he'd never go for me. I'm nobody. That's not true, Red. Everyone has something that makes him unique. Everyone is special in their own way. Move to the be and let your spirit out. As long as we got each other we'll never have any trouble that's what be in francis about Oh, Yeah Everyone is special in their own way and we'll always be together What the hell are they doing? I've no idea. --together. Together we stay and every kid in school is special in their own way Dude, girls are such fags. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Boys! Are special in theyr own way! Girls! Are special like the birthday And always we dancing and singing alone here he comes [sings] [sings] [sings] Who the hell is that? That's Braden Gueermo. We Sings and dances better than anybody. He's already seen HM3 over a hundred times. Everyone is special in their own-- Special in their own way Let it out, party people Are we the only ones here who are completely confused? Yeah. I guess, we better check that movie out. [singing] This-- is cool? [singing] This is cool? We are really getting old, you guys. [singing] It says that DVD sold more copies than any DVD ever made. They just released part three in theaters and they did 80 millions in opening weekend. Well, I'm out guys. If this is much cool today, I'm done. I no longer have any connections with this world. I'm gonna go home and kill myself. Good bye, friends. I don't care how popular being like these kids becomes, I'm not doing this. I'm not doing it either. Kenny? [mumbles] All right, we promised. We have to swear to each other right now we'll never become this. I swear. [mumbles] Okay, good. What happened? I thought you were gonna kill yourself. I tried. Went to sleep in my mom's car in the garage with the engine turned on. You didn't die? Freakin' hybrids, man. They just don't do the trick anymore. All right, kids in seats, kids in seats. Today we are going to discuss the Berlin Wall. This was the wall in Germany that actually separated the communist east side and democratic west side. East side, west side, whatever side you're on as long as we care about each other we can still have some fun Oh, man. [singing] Oh, good kids. God! This's sucks! Do you feel like maybe you l-l-loosing her, S-Stan? I don't know. There's nothing I can do about it anyway. Maybe you should just talk to her. You know, a little conversation. Tell her what you feel. Sometimes you feel like there's a b-burning in sky, do you like-- Stop! All right, you then. - Uh, Wendy? - Hi, Stan. Look, I just want you to know. If you want to, you know, be with that Briden kid, then you should. What? I mean, I see the way you two are together and I don't wanna be in your way. - Stan, that's ridiculous. - It is? I would never leave you for Briden. - Really? - No way, that'd be stupid. I wouldn't have chance with Briden he could have any girl he wants. There you go, feel better, p-p-pal? What am I supposed to do? I can't just sit back and watch some kid steal my girlfriend away. I mean, Wendy says she'll never leave me for him. But what if she just doesnt wanna hurt my feelings. She said he could get any girl he wants and that means if he wanted, he could have my girl. This is all so crazy. I mean, really, how could my day get any worse? No-no. No, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. No, fuck off, I'm not doing it. Oh, geez, you're no fun. - Hey, Briden. - Hey. - Hi, Briden. - Hi. - Hey, Briden. - Hey. Hey, kid, over here. Hey, uh, listen. You know this whole singing and dancing thing you do - I think, you need to ease off a little bit. - Huh? Yeah, look, I know you think the kids in school like you but actually they all getting really annoyed. They are? Yeah, you don't know 'cause you're just a thirdgrader but take it from me, you're driving everyone crazy. I don't blame them. All that singing and dancing, I can't stand it. You don't like doing it? It's just don't me. What I really wanna do is just-- play basketball. - Basketball? - I love it. Always have. I've missed a game on TV. When my dad isn't making me rehearse. I'd love to quit singing and dancing forever and just play ball. Dude. You should do that. You should join the basketball team, right now. - I can't. - Yes, you can. What's stopping you? It's my dad. He thinks basketball is for sissies. If I don't do what he wants, he beats me. No, dude, listen, you need to take a stand and tell your dad what you want. - Really? - When you grow up into a fourthgrader you'll understand that you'll have to be tough and direct with your parents. Go to your dad and tell him you wanna give up singing and dancing and join the basketball team. Sam? So you still think I'm a thief. A thief? A thief who stole my heart! We can go whenever you want. um... Please stay Until the accusation thing, We were having such a good time! no, I think I should go. I think I need to date people I haven't robbed. And still no apology for that. You two have shamed me in front of the chicago art world. I bought eight of todd's photos Out of pure embarrassment. I hope you like silhouettes of trees. I'm sorry, dad. A pretty humiliating night for both of us, huh? No, just you. It's a naked picture of your ex-girlfriend. Look, i-i only put it in the show to sell it... To make money to--to buy you a present. Shut up, todd. you still want her. -Why can't you just admit it? -because it's not true. Oh, yeah? Well, if you love me so much, where's my naked picture? I mean, am I not a fitting enough subject for your art? Are these babies not good enough for you? You brought a mugger to my show? Yeah, well, I was, uh, gonna bring a serial killer, But his van broke down. I mean, you can date whoever you want. I'm not dating... I know. I get it. What about you, smart guy? Did you really think this one through? Well, I have a right to display my art. Oh, give it up. I'm gonna have to side with chloe on this one. I wanted it in my show. it's my best picture. There's a red dot on it. Who bought it? oh, god. that feels weird. Nobody bought it. I didn't want anyone to have it, So i-i put a "sold" sticker on it. Yeah. Maybe. Out of my way! you! Oh, pooh. you're late. sorry you missed all the fun. Oh! not really. I brought my own fun. Hello, andrea. come in early tomorrow. Do you mind? I want to show you your new office. i think you're gonna like it. If you need to make a copy, it's super convenient. Okay, so you don't like practical jokes. That's good to know. that's how a friendship grows! Come on. I'll walk you out. Signals are like art-- The meaning can be interpreted in countless ways, Like that statue of a giant clothespin. Actually, no one knows what that one means. But sometimes a signal is nothing like art. Its meaning is crystal clear. You have your valet ticket? Yeah, I have it right here. oh, my god. damn it! That bastard stole my wallet! I can't believe it! Oh, here it is. In the beginning, there was darkness... and then, bang... giving birth to an endless expanding existence... of time, space, and matter. Now, see further than we've ever imagined... beyond the limits of our existence... in a place we call "The Universe." It is both mighty and meek. Humanity's quest is to harness its power and escape its bonds. Holy cow! This is what an astronaut feels. It creates and breaks the stars, the planets, the galaxies... and directs their cosmic roller coaster ride. Gravity is ourfriend and ourfoe. Without it, life as we know it would end. The Earth would literally explode. It is the magnificent and mystifying force... that rules the universe: Gravity. Gravity is the most pervasive force in the universe. It is at work on massive and minute scales... on the routine and the extreme. A surfer needs it to hang ten. When you ride a wave, you're going to slide down the front... and you're going to use that pull of gravity to get you going. It's your acceleration force. It's your accelerator. Gravity is your accelerator. A skier uses it to race downhill. A snowboarder must have it to get big air. It acts on everything with mass, including us, 24/7... even when sleeping or standing. Gravity here on Earth, of course, is always accelerating us down... toward the center of the Earth at 32 feet per second squared. At a theme park, gravity is the galactic gas... that makes roller coasters roar and people scream. The gravity of the Earth pulls us down... and that's going to make us go really, really fast. All objects with mass or energy-- particles, people, planets, stars, and galaxies-- produce gravity. Omnipotent and omnipresent... gravity attracts, governs, warps, shapes, makes... and takes all matter and mass in the universe. So it's pervasive. It acts on all things through extremely large distances... and nothing escapes its pull. It is gravity that holds our solar system together. The force of gravity... is basically that thing that holds us on the planet... keeps us from flying off. It is the cosmic glue that binds all matter in the universe together. Ifyou were to imagine taking two dice... and putting them perfectly at rest out in the middle of space... and separating them by a centimeter... then what you'd see is that over a course of an hour or so... those two dice would slowly come together and touch. Gravity made ourworld. Our Sun formed from a vast cloud of gas... that gravitationally contracted. Similarly, our Earth formed through the gravitational attraction... of little particles, little bitty things... gradually growing into a bigger and bigger object. When it comes to gravity's pulling power... mass and distance matter. It depends on the masses of each object... the amount of matter within each object. So it's proportional to the product of the two masses. In otherwords, the bigger it is... the harder it pulls on other objects. But that's not all. And it's inversely proportional... to the square of the distance between them. This means ifyou double the distance between two objects... the attraction or pull is only a quarter of its original strength. The pulling power of gravity lets it direct the motion and movement... of all matter, however massive, in the universe. So you have whole galaxies, for example... in orbit around each other. Clusters of galaxies all orbit around their common center of mass. But it is the practical potential of harnessing this relentless force... that has obsessed scientists for centuries. It would literally fall to Galileo Galilei, the 17th-century truth-seeker... to first recognize that gravity even existed. Galileo found that objects having a different weight... fall at the same rate. So here's a very heavy steel ball... and a light ping-pong ball of the same size. And if I drop them at the same time... they hit the ground at exactly the same time as well... because they fall at the same rate. To illustrate Galileo's most profound gravitational discovery... that all objects, regardless of mass, fall at the same rate... we take a ride on the mega-fast "Superman: The Escape"... at Six Flags Magic Mountain in Southern California. The theme park ride is the stage... for a spectacular free-fall demonstration. It will showwhat happens when a carfull of people... and a tennis ball fall from 415 feet in the air. Okay. Here we go. All right. Oh, my. Oh, my God. The riders are shot up the 41-story-tall tower... at a hundred miles an hour. With their eyes open, gravity will help them see a superhero. Oh, my God. Okay. I'm going to drop this ball now and-- Oh, my God, it's floating around! It's floating! It's floating! Oh, the wind blew the ball away that time. While we expect all objects to fall freely together, regardless of mass... on a windy day, results aren't always perfect. All right. Oh, my God. At the very top of the ride, when upward motion has stopped... gravity takes over and the downward free fall begins. I'm going to drop this ball... and it's going to float. It's going to float. Oh, it's floating. It's floating. I'm going to release this ball now. And then, for a few blissful seconds... theme park thrill-seekers feel weightless... as ifthey are free of gravity, or in what scientists call zero-G. Oh, that one floated well. That one floated well. Oh, I'm going to try dropping the ball. But zero-G isjust an illusion. In reality, gravity is running this ride. It's the force that yanks the car, the people, and the tennis ball... indifferent to their mass, back down to Earth at the same rate. Oh, that's a fantastic ride. I mean, feeling oneself drop is amazing. But what's really great is dropping the ball... and seeing it floating above my face. Now--l mean, it's falling. I know it's falling... but I'm falling at exactly the same rate. It doesn't matter how massive something is. It falls, under the force of gravity, at exactly the same rate. Thanks to experiments like this... we now know that objects all fall at the same rate. But what would it take to launch a cannonball into orbit? When the famous British physicist Sir Isaac Newton... saw the apple fall that, some say, hit him on the head... it changed the world. You got the apple falling from the tree... and he looks up and sees the Moon in orbit around the Earth... and judges that not only is the apple falling to Earth... so too is the Moon. But could the Moon really be falling? Load! By thinking of a cannon and the trajectory of the ball it shoots... Newton used math to unlock a cosmic mystery. It came in his landmark publication, "Principia Mathematica," in 1687. Isaac Newton has a famous drawing... and in it, he draws a planet and a little mountain. There's a little projectile first kicked off the mountain... and it falls down a little bit. You give it more speed, it goes a little farther out. Now say you could just increase the force all you wanted. It can go fifty miles, it can go a hundred miles before it fell. By adding more gunpowder and withjust the right angle offire... a cannonball can be made to go faster and farther. Inevitably, however, gravity wins... pulling the cannonball back down to Earth. The Earth is round and not flat, so Newton realized... that if the cannonball is fired at sufficient speed... the cannonball would actually go into orbit. For that to happen, Newton determined... the ball would need to be shot out of the cannon... at17,500 miles an hour. It starts curving around the Earth... and he realized that there must be a speed... where it goes completely around the Earth... and hits you in the back of the head... never actually hitting Earth's surface. And ifyou duck, it'll just keep going... and lo and behold, you have an orbit. But why doesn't the Moon fall to Earth? The Moon also has some sideways motion... so for every little bit that it falls down... it also moves off in this direction... and the sum of all those motions is an orbit around the Earth. Newton also realized that the Earth is in a giant freefall around the Sun. With gravity forging the path, our planet rounds the Sun... like an endless cosmic roller coaster ride. Newton cracked the gravity code... and physicists are still using his ideas to solve all sorts of problems... some ofthem stranger than others... like, what would happen if a person tried to travel through a tunnel... from one side of the planet to the other? In this wild scheme... you would have to drive a straight-line tunnel... right through the Earth and use gravity alone to propel a traveler... down this so-called gravity express. So, suppose you've got one ofthese tunnels... and youjump in. Initially, the Earth is pulling down. You're going toward the center of the Earth... and so you're accelerating toward it. But as you pass through the center ofthe Earth... and start going out toward the opposite side... the gravity ofthe Earth is trying to pull you back... so it's decelerating you. So gravity's actually having a braking effect. There's no fear of shooting out the hole... on the other side of the Earth at some tremendous velocity... and shooting yourself back into space... but, in fact, you reach the surface ofthe Earth exactly. You would coast to a perfect rest. In forty-two minutes, you'd be there. Whichever two cities you connect with a straight-line tunnel... it takes gravity exactly forty-two minutes to get you there. Thejourney from Los Angeles to Paris, forty-two minutes. Suppose you wanted to go from Los Angeles to Tokyo... forty-two minutes. It doesn't matterwhich path you take through the Earth. Thejourney is always forty-two minutes long. It takes Newton's math to figure out why this works. Ifwe connect Los Angeles to NewYork... digging a tunnel, obviously... a tunnel would not go straight down... but it has to go down at an angle. The angle slows the speed of descent. But the distance is also less. And ifyou work out the equations... lo and behold, the two effects cancel... and you still get there in forty-two minutes. It takes forty-two minutes regardless of the path you take. That's really cool. Newton figured out what gravity does... but it took the brilliance of physicistAlbert Einstein... to work out why it was doing it. Einstein realized that gravity is really caused by huge objects... like stars and planets, literally bending space itself. Like a massive rubber sheet... space is curved where massive objects sit in it. In fact, Einstein proposed that the path planets take around their stars... their orbits, are all a direct result of this curvature of space. He said that what an orbit is... is really something traveling in a straight line. When something is free-falling towards another object... it really isjust traveling in a straight line through space-time. However, the curvature of space-time bends its path into a closed orbit... but space itself curves it back in on itself. This revolutionary discovery came when Einstein, in the early1910s... realized that orbits of stars and planets in the observable cosmos... behavejust as Newton's math predicted... except one: Mercury. Its orbit essentially wobbles. Einstein described gravity as a curvature in space and time... and the orbit of Mercury works perfectly when you take that into account. Mercury isn't moving in flat space, but curved space around the Sun. Then the orbit's perfect. This curvature of space is at play in our own solar system. Earth is simply following what it thinks is a straight-line path... the shortest distance between two points... in this intrinsically curved space. Einstein not only determined that mass warps space... it warps time, too. So, henceforth, Einstein proclaimed... physicists should not speak of space and time separately... but of space-time as one unified object. While it's uncomfortable to many the first time you hear it... ifyou stop and think about it, it's actually quite obvious. If I'm going to make an appointment with somebody... I don't say, "l'll meet you at 3:00." That's not enough information. There's got to be a question that follows that. What is that question? Where? If I say, "Meet you in room 203." When? Any time you intersect with someone's else's life... you do so at a time and at a place. Einstein's realization that space is curved... and that time and space are, in fact, intertwined... is now the very definition of gravity. Liftoff of the Space Shuttle "Discovery." Unlocking the secrets of gravity... has enabled humanity to escape our earthly shackles... and opened the universe for exploration. But how can future astronauts on the long way to Mars... survive the disabling effects caused by zero-G? Gravity is ourfriend... and ourfoe. It is the fearsome force that propels a skier... and the snowboarder down the mountain... and shoots them into the air. With enough momentum, an airborne snowboarder... can feel forfleeting moments... as if they are free of Earth's gravitational pull. You're actually weightless when you go offthejump. The period ofweightlessness is determined... by the duration ofyour trajectory as a function ofyour velocity... so that the snowboarder who gets really good big air... may achieve a second, two seconds, even three seconds ofweightlessness. But in the end, gravity wins... and the high-flying, free-falling boarder... just like the ball fired from the cannon... is eventually yanked back down to Earth. This free fall for the snowboarder... as he or she goes over thejump... and creates this trajectory isjust as much free fall... as a cannonball going through the air... and the trajectory is determined... only by the velocity and the force of gravity. Then, of course, what happens on the landing is another story. But what if a snowboarder... aspired to reach even greater heights? What if he wanted to overcome gravity... and launch himself right off the planet? You want to leave Earth entirely and forever? Earth has what we call the escape velocity... this magic speed where ifyou pass that speed... you will escape Earth forever, never to return. Escape velocity, the minimum speed any object needs to reach... in order to escape from the Earth... is about seven miles a second. That's 25,000 miles an hour. In theory, even a snowboarder... with enough momentum and aimed in the right direction... can take offjust like a rocket. Escaping Earth's gravity may not be realistic for a snowboarder... but it has proven possible to launch people and projectiles into orbit. You can leave systems. Youjust need enough energy to do so. And we've garnered enough energy and technological know-how... to dojust that in ourvoyages to the Moon. And our hope is that that will continue on to Mars and beyond. To get to Mars and beyond... mankind will have to harness gravity's energy... just like we always do when we're seeking thrills to the extreme. Gravity gives us two types of energy... potential... and kinetic. Potential isjust that. It is energy that's being stored... while kinetic is the result of all that pent-up potential energy. This fantastic phenomenon works on a roller coaster. As you're winched up on a hill, your potential energy is increasing. You literally have more energy... at the top of the roller coaster than at the bottom. It's notjust a weird, abstract thing. You actually possess higher energy at the top... and that's turned into speed, into kinetic energy... as you go down that hill on the roller coaster. Pretty soon, I'll be converting my potential energy to kinetic energy. When a surfer hits that sweet spot on a wave... they're using energy's double act. NASA also uses this energy exchange principle... to add some speed to their missions. As a spacecraft nears the orbit of a planet... it, too, gathers kinetic energy at the expense of potential energy. Then as it rounds the planet on its cosmic coaster ride... the craft gets a slingshot effect... that punches it onward with more kinetic energy. When the Voyager spacecraft visited Jupiter in 1979, 1980... it flew past Jupiter, and Jupiter tugged on it... giving it extra motion, sort of a slingshot effect... not only changing its direction of motion... so that it was aimed towards Saturn... but also speeding it up. Knowing how to use the power of gravity... will enable humanity to travel further and faster across the universe. Having the physics formulated and the technology available... isjust one part of the preparation for extraterrestrial travel. Readying people for the rigors of space is the other. Far away from Earth's gravitational pull... in a spaceship on the long journey to Mars, for example... future astronauts will have to learn to live, work, and play... in an environment free of Earth's sizeable gravity... one where they effectively feel weightless... and all objects move equally and freely. One fun way to experience... the astronautical thrills and spills of space travel... is to simulate it on a zero-G flight. I'm really looking forward to this. This is going to be an incredible experience. By riding the ultimate roller coaster... a specially modified zero-G Boeing 727 aircraft... astrophysicist Alex Filippenko is about to go on the ride of his life. This is going to be like a ball thrown up in the air... weightless because it will be in free fall... so I'll be floating around as though there's no ground holding me up. The zero-G flight flies between 24,000 and 32,000 feet. This is about the same altitude as a regular commercial jet... but that is where the similarity ends. The water's the next one? The path it follows is a series of coaster-like rolling hills... in the stratosphere. Just like "Superman: The Ride"... the super zero-G plane gathers potential energy... as it climbs up at forty-five degrees. Passengers feel this as an increase in weight. Oh, yeah. Gravity is measured in terms of g-forces. One G is the amount of gravitywe feel... standing on the surface ofthe Earth. I'm going to get back down like this and get ready. As the plane steeply climbs, accelerating upward... the gravity G count rises and people feel heavier. All right. The plane is accelerating us upwards... at about1.8 G at its maximum. As the flight approaches, then eases around the apex of the arc... the plane, as well as all the people inside it... are, in effect, in free fall. Zero-G comin' up. Oh, man, what an indescribable feeling. Holy cow! Oh, I'm out in free space. Floating, just floating. This is what an astronaut feels. The plane's trajectory induces weightlessness again and again... by flying a series of these parabolic arcs. Even though they are within the cabin of a plane... the zero-G passengers are freely falling towards the Earth just like skydivers. But what creates the sensation ofweightlessness? It goes back to Galileo... who showed that all objects fall at the same rate. So, as the plane and the people inside fall freely toward Earth... they maintain the same position relative to each other... and that is why they feel weightless. The feeling lasted twenty-five full seconds... because, for twenty-five seconds, we were essentially in free fall. It was like Superman just flying through the air. Oh, I cannot believe how it feels. When thejet's engines reengage and end the free fall... the passengers feel theirweight return. As Einstein would say, weightlessness is but an illusion. This is so awesome! So awesome! The zero-G plane takes advantage... of something Einstein worked out back in 1916... in his general theory of relativity... that acceleration is essentially the same as gravity. When you are thrust upward in a rocket or the zero-G plane... the G-forces you experience... are the same as you would feel being tugged downward... by the gravity of a massive object like a planet. So gravity and acceleration create the same sensation. That's how the passengers on a zero-G flight... can feel like an astronaut... and can experience thejoys ofweightlessness. The ball and I arejust freely falling... according to our natural path through curved space-time. This is what Einstein's theory says. Independent ofthe mass, we all follow the same path. Oh, yeah, this is unbelievable. On the twenty-minute, fifteen-parabola flight... there's time in between the frights and delights... to further taunt the laws of gravity. Look at that. Look at that water. Oh, look at that water. I'm going to catch some. Okay, here we go. As well as entertaining weekend warriors... the parabolic flights... also inauspiciously called "The Vomit Comet"... have a practical purpose. They prepare NASA astronauts forworking and living... in the zero-G environment of space. With these sensational parabolic flights... humans have learned how to simulate the absence of gravity. But is it also possible to create artificial gravity in the lab? These experiments will lead to a successful exploration of Mars. It is in ourfuture. At the dawn of the 21st century, overcoming the bonds of gravity... and escaping Earth's sizeable tug have been realized. The next step is to design and build the technology... that will allow humans to travel, work, and live... on exotic alien planets. And we've garnered enough engineering know-how... to dojust that in ourvoyages to the Moon. Thanks to state-of-the-art technology... humanity is on the brink of a new era in space exploration. The trip to Mars is beginning here at our laboratory at mit. Artificial gravity may be one of the ways that we overcome... the debilitating effects ofweightlessness. Since the advent of the space age... scientists have been concerned with minimizing... the life-threatening risks and damaging effects... of being weightless at zero-G. The issues originally had to do with human survivability. We didn't even know back in the Apollo period... how people would react to stays in space... of more than a few hours. There was all kinds of concern about humans' ability... to control a vehicle after being exposed to weightlessness... for a long period of time. A mission to Mars would require astronauts... to be away from Earth's gravity for at least two, maybe three years. The human frame is simply not designed... for the absence of terrestrial one-G gravity. The architecture of our bodies is designed to withstand ourweight... under the forces of gravity. Gravity determines how our cardiovascular system reacts... so when you get out of bed... and you go from being supine to upright... there's a regulatory system that keeps the blood pressure... reacting against the forces of gravity. Experience has shown that being weightless for long periods... leads to bone loss, muscle deterioration... and life-threatening blood clots. Aeronautical engineers at NASA and mit... are testing a personal centrifuge system... that may mitigate the very real dangers. They protect the heart, the bones, their muscles. And even in these early experiments, we have every reason to believe... that artificial gravity with short-radius centrifuges... may be the universal antidote that we're looking for... to protect people on the long trip to Mars. Just like a theme park ride... spinning a subject artificially creates g-forces. To prevent motion sickness in the mit ride... astronauts are conditioned to keep their head still. By spinning a person at thirty revolutions a minute... the centrifuge imparts one G... the same force felt pulling down a person standing on Earth. Scientists hope that one day, a trip to Mars will be a reality. Onboard, they believe there should be a personal centrifuge. To get their Earthly gravity fill-up, 21st-century astronauts... could then just spend one hour a day on the machine. We get onto it for a brief period every day... and get spun up quite fast... spun up in what I'll call a spin in the gym. You go foryour exercise, you go foryourworkout... you get your G tonic, your gravity tonic. While a trip to Mars may still be decades away... astrophysicist and seasoned skier Larry Young... can dream of big air in the liberating gravity of Mars. On the surface, there is three-eighths the tug of Earth's gravity. Everyone likes to get some air. Everybody likes a little bit. Just think ifwe were on Mars. A person who weighs 100 pounds on Earth... would feel as if they weigh 38 pounds on Mars. Although a Martian skier would fly down Olympus Mons... at a third of the speed theywould on Earth... the lower gravity also means that theywould get... at least three times the big air. In the case of gravity, it's mass that matters. The more mass you have, the stronger the pull of gravity. So when you think about what yourweight would be on the Earth... versus something more massive than the Earth, it's pretty direct. If something were twice as massive as the Earth... you'd weigh about twice as much. The Big Kahuna in our solar system is Jupiter. On that planet, a 100-pound person... would weigh a whopping 254 pounds. Even if Jupiter had a solid surface... a skier there would have to fight for big air. What we already know about gravity, how it works... and how it can be used for practical purposes... could, in theory, even save the planet... from its ultimate cataclysmic fate. Here's how gravity can come to our rescue. Gradually, in about five billion years... our Sun will brilliantly flare, turn into a red giant... gloriously burn up and die. As this comes to pass, our inner solar system is engulfed... and Earth's gravity and atmosphere will be radically altered. At that point, life on the blue planet will end. But astrophysicist Greg Laughlin has a plan... to use gravity to save Earth. This environment that we have here now... would look very similar to the environment... that is holding sway on Venus right now. A crushing carbon dioxide atmosphere... temperatures hot enough to melt lead. But rest assured, if the worst hypothetical happens... gravitational science could save mother Earth. The one thing that we could do over the very long term... is to somehow move the Earth's orbit... out to a larger distance from the sun... where the temperature isn't so hot. And a way that you can do that, ifyou have enough time... ifyou have billions ofyears available to you... is to use a comet or an asteroid. This mega move would require astronauts and engineers... aboard a spacecraft to maneuver the comet or asteroid... just in front ofthe Earth. In order to be most effective... the comet has to fly very close to the Earth... within orbital radius or so ofthe Earth. Then on the cosmic roller coaster... potential and kinetic energy are roused and gravity does the rest. If that happens, then the comet pulls the Earth forward... the Earth pulls the comet backward... and the net result is that the Earth is given a boost. It's given a boost to a slightly higher orbital radius... slightly larger distance from the Sun. And ifyou make one of these adjustments... one of these passages every10,000 years or so... then the Earth, over a period of a billion years... can move at a fast enough pace outward... to keep track with the steadily brightening sun. If however, the experts get the math wrong... and the big gamble doesn't work, all bets are off. And ifyou screw that up, then you can have a collision... between the comet and the Earth. So a hundred-kilometer object crashing into the Earth... is absolutely an extraordinary disaster. It's the kind of thing that causes huge extinctions... of gigantic numbers of species. Of course, this is only an extreme hypothetical scenario... but what is known for sure... is that our continued existence today here on Earth... is contingent on the presence of gravity. It allows for the perfect conditions for life... and the pursuit of happiness. One G produces the surfer's dream: A perfect wave. But the wild waters enjoyed on Earth... are not the only kind of gravity-generated waves. There are cosmic waves so large they roll across the entire universe. Tidal torrents of gravity-boosted particles roll across the cosmos. According to Einstein... these gravitational waves wash through the universe. But what are they? Any change in the gravity... sends a ripple through that fabric of space... then moves at the speed of light. That would be a gravity wave. And why do they happen? Ifyou have two objects, two compact stars... each ofwhich curves space around them... and they're orbiting one another... then the result is, is that these two curved regions... create a wave, a ripple in the structure... in the shape of space that moves outwards... carrying energy with it. That's called a gravitational wave. I mean, literally, you can think about space and time... having a wave, just like an ocean wave in it... that travels through the universe. Gravitywaves arejust the same. Any type of mass in motion, big or small... generates a gravitational wave. And like the Earth's ocean tides... gravitational waves roll ceaselessly across the cosmos. In theory, a surfer launched into space could experience... an out-of-this-world wipeout and warp. If a gravitational wave was created in space or somewhere... and went through you, what would happen... is you'd get fat and then you'd get skinny... meaning that space was distorted. Space in one direction made you fatter. In the other direction, it squashed you. And it goes back and forth. But for earthbound scientists to detect any faint G-wave signals... the disturbance needs to be propagated... by a massive cosmic object. Black holes and spinning neutron stars can do it. Another thing that can make a gravity wave... is an explosion, say, a supernova. A star explodes and it goes--whack-- and that actually pushes a gravity wave forward. The tool to catch the light-like signal from a wave is the LlGO... the Laser Interferometer Gravitational Wave Observatory. There are two identical, ground-based LlGO labs. One is in Hanford, Washington... and the other is more than 2,000 miles away... near Baton Rouge, Louisiana. If a wave comes by, each lab's results will be vital to confirm the event. Here's how it works. Super polished glass mirrors are at the fulcrum of the interferometer... which is a tool that basically... compares two light wave measurements... and identifies the differences between them. Precision laser light is fired back and forth... and split between two calibrated mirrors. In normal circumstances, as the light bounces up and down... the 2 1/2-Mile long, L-shaped vacuum tubes... the two laser beams are basically in sync. This means the beams effectively cancel each other out... and no light escapes the tunnel. But when a gravity wave rolls through... space is ever so slightly stretched or squashed. As a result, the laser beams are thrown out of phase... and only then a small amount of light is emitted... a tiny signal, less than the diameter of a human hair... 1/1000th the size of a proton will register. Converted into a sound and a light signal... it will be seen and heard. The scientists' greatest hope... is to catch the most massive event that ever occurred in the universe... the Big Bang. Gravitywaves may be our best chance to look... very, very close to the beginning of the universe. About 300,000 years after the Big Bang... the universe was so dense, it was actually opaque to light. Light could not travel through it. So if light can't travel through the universe, what can? A gravity wave. The problem is a miniscule signal from a gravitywave... has yet to be caught. It's clearly hard. In fact, when Einstein predicted them, he thought it was a nice idea... but no one would ever be able to detect them. It's only the advances of technology that give us a chance. LlGO scientists, like astrosurfers... live for the day when they can hang ten... and ride theirvery own perfect wave of gravity. We've seen what we think are the effects of gravity waves... the loss of energy from a system by way of gravity waves... but we never directly detected one. That's one of the last frontiers. If the LlGO scientists' quest is successful... and they catch a wave, it could change science. So, I think that long term, it's first to understand gravity... and then, even more interestingly, to understand the universe. The force of gravity has domain over our universe. It created and can destroy the cosmos, the stars... the planets, and the people. It controls our lives, our play, and our endeavors. And therein is this cosmic ballet. Our collective future depends on the grace and greatness... ofthe mighty ruler of the cosmos, gravity. Pete? "Emergency services. Which service to you require? Which service do you require? Hello? Hello, is anyone there? Hello?" - I didn't... - What? ..know anything. What didn't you know? It wasn't You knew. "Hello? Is anyone there? Hello? Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? Hello?" I've just killed two people. My aunt and my uncle. My name's John Mercer. sync:baozi The Fixer S01E01 How did I become a hitman for the state? It all began five years into my life sentence and the day Lenny Douglas came to take me out of prison. I killed my aunt and uncle because they'd hurt somebody that I love. Maybe that was what got Lenny's attention. He liked emotions. They...gave him something to manipulate. So, while the rest watch The Champions League, you stop trying to push down the walls. You pick up your book... ..and you worry about the mystery of things. Lenny offered me a new life. A new home and a new family. But there was a price. There was the job that he wanted me to do. Lenny Douglas ran a secret team in the war on organised crime. I never knew who gave him his orders. But somebody at the highest level had approved our existence. Lenny's first trick was to reunite me with an old acquaintance. Now, how can I describe him? Take the person who annoys you the most and multiply it by ten. You think you've left them behind. You think you'll never have to see their face or hear their idiot voice again. That's Calum. Yeah! Hey! First time I heard this tune I was in a club in San Antonio with these two mental birds Niamh and Catherine. Cousins from Burnley, mate. Everyone's a cousin in Burnley, Calum! Mate, I'm not joking. I was on the dancefloor, this tune was playing. I had my hand up both of their skirts at the same time. It was like I was dancing with Sooty and Sweep! Very suave, man, very suave. Oh, mate, that will be a little surprise package I've arranged for us this evening. But without wanting to give the game completely away... They're twins, they're from Macedonia and They don't have keys. Shit. You. Out. Laters, bro. Rawley Park Estate,South London Mr Douglas. Calum. No, no. Ha ha ha. John Mercer. I'm not staying here. Where was it you two shared a cell again? Pentonville, wasn't it? I'm not staying here. He's an idiot. That's a bit harsh. Granted he's no Steven Hawking. John mate, don't be like that. Don't John mate me, please. I'm not staying here. You don't want to live with him? Fine. Get rid of him. John! What are you doing? Well, this way you can have the flat all to yourself. John mate, please. I've changed a lot since then. I'm sorry about that deodorant, mate. Just tell him you'll stay with me, please! John! Please! What you've got to ask yourself is do you think I won't do it? That's the only thing that should be on your mind just now. Do you think that I won't do it? All right. Next time we play chicken, I'll make sure the stakes are worth it. There's some goodie bags in your room and other essentials. Are you gonna tell me who you are, then? No, you'll have to wait until tomorrow now. ATT: JOHN MERCER That one. I've always thought scarlet suited you best. It's red and don't be so cheeky. I thought you'd be bursting with curiosity about the new recruit. When do I get to meet him? Oh, wait, when you decide the time is right. You know me so well. You're not scared he'll do a runner? No, he's not that stupid. So, when do you put him to work? Fortunately I do happen to have a case for him. Good. Well, let's go eat and then you can tell me all about the mysterious John Mercer. How's the cat? What cat would that be, Calum? The one out of them science books you was always reading in prison. Is the cat dead? Is it not dead? Is it both dead and not dead? You remember that? It's clever shit. But that was always your reputation, right? Don't mess with the clever, quiet one. Why are you so negative about it all, John? I enjoyed sharing a cell with you. I learned a lot. Why have you got your eyes closed? Because when I open them again I'll be waking up in my nice cosy cell. And you won't be with me. I'm still here. What do you do for them, Calum? You know, pretty much what I've always done. Multitasking, bits and bobs, needles and pins. Not quite how the judge described it at your sentencing, was it? What do they want us to do? Do the stuff the law can't do. Dealing with people the law can't reach. Come on, John, you're the clever one. Have you not worked it out yet? Check out the CVs. Who can make sure the cat is most definitely dead? You're the specialist. You're the killer. Morning, flatmate. Did you sleep well? I made some breakfast. I'd have made some for you as well but... that was the last of the bacon. Are they always this noisy upstairs? I like it. People enjoying themselves. Helps me get to sleep. They're Colombians, I think. So, what happens now, Calum? About what? I'm sorry. I forget you need a bit of extra help sometimes. Yesterday? I was dragged here from prison. Do you remember that? You were nearly garroted. Oh, that! They wouldn't have gone through with it really. Just their idea of a little kinky game, was it? Yeah. I'm a bit worried he likes me too much, actually. And so when are they gonna turn up again, Calum? Oh, don't worry. Lenny'll be back soon. And that's what he does, by the way. Turns up. Doesn't always knock, either. So, make sure you're not doing any washing up naked. You'll be wanting to see your sister after this, I expect. You've not even met your niece yet, have you? Is that allowed? Course it is. You're not on the run. Licence is in order. Go ahead. Go see Jess and the kids. I'm not a control freak. This is where you really want me to live, is it? You wouldn't wanna live here. Too many ghosts. Door. This house belonged to Kevin Simmonds, a senior SOCO detective also head of Operation Merlin. Him and his wife were murdered here a few weeks ago... while the kids were upstairs sleeping. Yeah, the kids found the bodies. I saw something about that on the news. Yeah, I keep forgetting they let you lot watch TV in prison. Yeah, and we had toilet roll. It's political correctness gone mad They dragged Alison Simmonds out of her bed, sat her down here, forced her to watch her husband's execution. After that he wrapped this tape around her face. Suffocated her. Must have taken a while. The man who organised it is called Jacob Gould. A real high flyer. But I think he had help from the inside. From who? Bent coppers. They bring out the traditionalist in me. I really don't like them. So you're part of this Operation Merlin thing as well, are you? No. I'm the guy they come to when operations like Merlin go wrong. Who do you work for, then? Oh, now, there's a question. Officially, nobody, of course. I'm on sick leave from the police. Post traumatic stress. Yeah, and unofficially? I don't really think that's any of your concern. My job's to disorganise crime. Illegally. I prefer to use the world irregular. Yeah, yeah, I bet you do. Look at that. Bobbies on bikes. Everybody loves a bobby on a bike. Unfortunately a million extra bobbies on bikes couldn't deal with Jacob Gould. Operation Merlin couldn't deal with him either. What do you want from me? You're going to kill him for me. Niece and nephew, right? Yeah. I haven't got 'em any presents, though. A bit behind when it comes to computer games and stuff like that. You should talk to me. CDs, DVDs, video games. Steve can get anything in that department. No, John, that'd be irresponsible! That's not their age range at all! How did it go with Lenny? Yeah, pretty good, really. He wants me to become an assassin for the state. I guess that's what you did in the Army, right? Wrong. That was legal. Yeah. Then you whacked your aunt and uncle. Shut up, Calum. I'm just saying. At least with Lenny you know it's someone who probably deserves it. Not just some scared kid in a trench. I didn't fight in the trenches, Calum. You wouldn't be going to see your sister if Lenny hadn't got you out of prison. Yeah, well, I'm not gonna do it. OK. He can find himself another hitman. I'm sure. OK, kids, lunch is ready. You should get yourself a new map. Nah. This is my only school prize. The names are out of date. I know. But the old maps are the best. The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics that's a brilliant name for a country. Are you gonna talk to me? What do you wanna know? How did you get out so early? Where you're living now. What you're planning on doing with your life. I'm out on licence. Living in a kind of halfway house. My life? I don't know, Jess, you're gonna have to give me a little bit more time on that one. Is that it? Of course it's not it. I did it for you. No. I killed them for you. You did it for yourself. Why did you write to me, then, Jess? Because I love you. And you were the only person I could turn to. You're all I've got right now, Jess. Promise me you won't go away again. I need my brother back. I promise. JESS: Promise me you won't go away again. I need my brother back. Are you ready? One condition. Just this. Then we're done. I'll talk to Calum. He'll get you everything you need. You talking to me? You what? You what? Haha haha! Check this, yo. Don't point a gun at me ever again. Where'd you get it? Kosovan Kate. Who's Kosovan Kate. She works with the Albanians. Here. You need to wear these. Give the old bill an head start. So she's setting up her own people, is she? Mate, I don't know how much you know about that part of the world but they treat women in a very degrading way. Dealing with you must have made a nice change for her. She noshed me off for free so that tells you something. Yeah, it certainly does. Lenny wants it done at the airfield. Problem is, isn't there a lot of CCTV down there? Entrances, lobbies. Exit to runways, manager's office. There's a blind spot in the toilets which could be a good thing. It's the one thing everyone does before they get on a plane. Didn't you say the front entrance was covered? Yeah, I can get you in a different way. How? Did a Duke of Edinburgh climbing course on my pupil referral unit. What was my nickname inside? Spider, right? Not the nickname I heard. Grantham Hill Private Airfield We're done. I'm gonna go and stay with my sister now. I assume that we never meet again which is a tragedy I'll just have to learn to live with. Here are the keys to the flat. We're not finished yet. We had an agreement, Lenny. Yeah, but I think you overestimated your ability to insist on dealbreakers though. You gave me an undertaking To review. So consider it under review. OK. Fine. Send me back to prison, then, please. We can do that. Well, then, do it. Only this time it's for life. I'll make sure of it. You were never gonna set me free, were you? Don't be so ungrateful, John. I've even authorised your mobile to make outgoing calls. This is freedom, isn't it? Oh, mate. You're not gonna believe this. I've only cracked it with one of them Colombian chicks from upstairs. Big beautiful brown eyes. Mate, I have got a strong feeling that before long, Manuela that's her name she's gonna be down here dancing a cumbia on the end of my bed. Chill out. No. Because I've heard it all before. No, I can't do this any more, Richard. Just leave me alone, OK? Sorry. Don't be. Well, other people's rows... Oh, they're great, they're very entertaining. Especially ones where there's shouting in the street. Well, we're done with the shouting. Is that why you're here? Yeah. I left him. Poor guy. He messed up. Stupid guy. Well, I like to think of myself as the easygoing type but... Well, there are some things that can never be forgiven. Tell me about it. My name's John, by the way. I'm Rose. Take her all my money, tell her buy some pretty clothes. That's a song. Don't forget to give my love to Rose. Be nice if somebody would. Would you like another drink? So, where are you heading? Patagonia. Travelling light. Well, you don't need much stuff out there, do you? Just a change of clothes and a bottle of whisky. I don't have any whisky, actually. Oh, no? Well, then, you lured me here Under false pretences. Just a lie to get you into my room. Cunning. But unnecessary. Sorry. I might need this to replace the pretty clothes you ripped off me last night. You work for them. Good luck. So what now, John? How do you see this playing now? You tell me. Well, not such an elaborate routine next time you run away. Why did you this time? I'm always curious as far as you're concerned. You said you wanted to go back to prison. Yeah. I'll take my chances. They're not good, to be honest. And, of course, that kind of decision has an effect on others. You and your sister. You were separated when your parents died, weren't you? You entered the chaos of the care system and Jess went to live with aunt and uncle. Who raped her repeatedly and had neighbours hold the camcorders. Incredible what goes on behind the net curtains in this nation of ours. Robert and Abby, they seem contented little kids. I'm sure they'd rather be together, being looked after by your sister. Is he fast? Cos I'd put money on me ripping out your windpipe before he can take a couple of steps. I would, too. That's partly the reason you're here, isn't it? You're a class act, aren't you? No, I'm a necessity. Destroy the lives of innocent people just to keep me your slave. Stop being so melodramatic. You may learn to love me first. Well...what do you want? I want you to watch the undercover cop I mentioned to you. His name is Iain Risdale. I think he betrayed Operation Merlin and was involved in his commanding officer's death. The man smells of corruption. Things will work out just fine, John. One simple rule worth remembering. I call the shots. Oh, yes! What I wasn't gonna tell ya! Si, oh, si! TV: "Police have arrested two Albanian men in connection with the murder of British businessman Jacob Gould. Gould had stepped down from the daytoday running of his shipping and cargo businesses after being continually linked with the illegal arms trade. Police confirmed Mr Gould was being investigated by undercover officers as part of Operation Merlin's attempt to target illegal gunrunning networks in Britain. The killing could be linked to an attempt by Albanian mafia to control the gunrunning business in London." Where are you from again? Hampshire CID. I'm part of the external review of Operation Merlin. We allowed Jacob Gould to stay in business, then we go after him. Now, what's that about? Well, us allowing Gould some leeway for certain strategic reasons is information you might want to lose from your hard drive. You're joking. Knowledge is power in this game. Well, I must admit, talking to yourself and others, it seems your boss had something of an ego. Putting Gould away became an obsession for him. It did seem that way to me at the time. Must have thought his name was Kevin Costner not Simmonds. Have you seen that film? What film? The Untouchables. Great film. It's a great film. You should watch it. Sean Connery. They put one of ours in a hospital, we put one of theirs in a morgue. - Right - Iain... A green light's on in the car like a little green exclamation mark. Probably needs a service. It's brand new. Thanks for your time. Nice house. Do you want a hand buttoning up? One of the few men I can trust not to grab my arse. So what's the deal with the Merlin undercover? Risdale? He unfortunately reminded me that knowledge is power. Pack him off to Magaluf. He can sell dodgy pills from his bar with the rest of the bent coppers. Maybe. It's a funny thing to sell your soul for... ..a new beamer. Yeah. Cars have never really done it for me. Well, what has? Apart from your work, of course. My work's enough. And now you have a new toy. One you gave the full VIP treatment to, I'm told. You gave me the impression he was very important. We could have hauled him in at the hotel. I know that. Do you mind if I ask why? Poor man had been in prison for five years. That's very charitable of you. And aren't you always telling me that the stick is a weapon for the short term? I'm glad somebody listens to me. We'd best hope he doesn't fall for you. He's more likely to try and kill me. And why should you care? Glittering in a place where a heart should be. Go and make a drink. Why are we watching this geezer? Because Lenny hasn't decided what to do with him yet. Neighbours used to have loads of them in the garden. With fishing rods. Little ones. Sitting on mushrooms. Mum said it lowered the tone. Gnomes. I don't like gnomes. Also I don't like fireeaters. And I don't like dried fruit of any kind. And I don't like those big mental dogs that come running at you in parks. I mean, you wouldn't let a lion or crocodile run loose in Regent's Park, would you? - Say some things you don't like. - Shut up, Calum. I'm bored. Look, surveillance is boring. There's a pair of jays in that tree, if you look. Big thrill You know who really loves the countryside? Nonces. It makes it easier to grab the kids. You always hear about weird shit like that happening in places like this. That's more like it. That's the undercover's wife. Caroline Risdale. Ticking my boxes. I'd go under the covers with her. But there's only one thing that comes before a lady. My dinner. I'm starving. I'd eat those two jays in a sesame seed bun. ? I'll get us something to eat, then we'll start working in shifts. Why? Because if we don't, I'm gonna start garroting you myself. Don't be like that, John. Come on, mate. What kind of bag? I dunno. A bag bag. Was it a suitcase or an overnight bag? Yeah, that's it. An overnight bag. He goes out for a jog, like you said, and then... ..he comes back out with a bag. What was I supposed to do? Did anything happen to spook him? Did he see you? Of course not. What? If we mess this up, they will find you dead of an overdose and I'll be back in prison waiting for someone to stab me in the showers Better hope he hasn't gone far, Calum. Iain? What do you mean a runner? Just took off all of a sudden. Find him for me. And then what? Operation Merlin's all but dead and buried. "I want him dealt with, John. And this time no guns." John, I finally cracked it. It's churros. What are you talking about? Those Spanish doughnut things you dip in hot chocolate after you've been out all night. ? ? So again last night, the wife got a call around 10:30. It's the husband calling to say good night. Exactly. He's always calling. They must like each other. So we need to get in, get the number without her knowing about it. How? We need a woman. Like Mr Ray Charles says... ..we've got a woman. You must be joking if you think John, how many other birds do you know? We meet again. Thanks again for everything you did to help me. Oh, don't just thank me. How else would I know which hotel you'd be in? Which amoeba, scratching his crutch, not a million miles away, might know that you kept your private stuff hidden behind a map of the world? And tell Lenny when you were leaving? What is it you do for them again, Calum, you miserable little snitch? I got used to having your big, cheery smile around. Didn't want to see you leave. And what do they have on you? I'm guessing that sex with strangers in hotels wasn't really top of your career list. It wasn't. Advance warning. I'm getting ready to do a runner as well. Well, as long as it's not in my direction, Calum. I was once a police officer. I bet you looked lovely in that uniform, PC Rose. Was Lenny your guv? Undercover, actually. So do you think you can get us into the house? Yeah, I think I might just be up to it. Sweet. Oh, that's the front door. Darling, I'll speak to you tomorrow. OK? I'm awfully sorry to disturb you. That's all right. It's just that I've broken down just down the road and, well, wouldn't you know it, the bloody mobile. Would you mind if I borrowed your phone to call the AA? Erm...you'll have to tell me where I am. Of course. Come inside. Thank you. You're an absolute angel. Last number to call the house and last number dialled. How was she? What's that mean? Did she seem suspicious or anything? ? A bit trusting. I wouldn't let anybody into my house, whatever their sob story. That's cos you're a hardfaced bitch. Sorry. While you steal credit cards from lonely and vulnerable women. Just a moment of madness? No, that was just a cheap whore in a bar. Well, don't be too hard on yourself. It had been a while, hadn't it? Which showed. Sorry, guys. I'd advise you two to get a room, but it seems you already have. Shut up, Calum. Now sit nice and try not to lick the windows. Hello? Is that the Long Bay Hotel? Can you put me through to Iain Risdale, please? - Yeah. Yeah, that's him. - Hey, John, check the words to this. Yo! And I ain't chatting no black talk, mate. Yo means I in Spanish. - Very impressive. - There's more. Yo no soy marinero. I ain't no sailor. Soy capitan. I'm captain. I've found Risdale. To dance La Bamba, what do you need? Una poca de gracia Shut up! For once in your stupid and pointless life, shut up. I'm in love, mate. Do you know what it feels like to be in love? Have you ever been in love? Seriously, John, that ain't a trick question. Have you ever loved anybody? Anybody whose name isn't Mercer? We're going to the seaside. Pack a bag. Mi amor, Calum. Mi gusto los churros a los chico. You forget about the sea sometimes. Yeah. It reminds me of biscuits. Really? Why's that? When we were just little kids, my dad used to take us to the seaside. Me and my sister would sit in the back eating digestive biscuits. John, listen... I've never done what you do. I know. Just ask him for the time. Or a light, or whatever. You can do that. I'll do the rest. Do you want some fudge? I've eaten tonnes. I'd better save some for Manuela. You OK? I feel a bit... Yeah. Yeah. Can you...stop the car. Stop the car. "It's done." Are either of the kid's fathers gonna turn up to this dance of theirs? Abby's dad sends money in a card each birthday. Rob's dad, nothing at all. I could come if you want. To the dance. They'd love that. They think you're great, you know? Rob said you were cool. Got some catching up to do. Like you said, you're not going anywhere, right? They're good kids, Jess. You've done a brilliant job with them. I can't find my shoe anywhere. I'll need it for the beach. 'This is freedom, isn't it? One simple rule worth remembering. I call the shots. Not watching porn or playing one of your computer games, Calum? Couldn't sleep. Yeah. Me, neither. When we was in the car, my breathing went all funny. Couldn't get air into my lungs. That's panic. Know the best way of controlling that? Singing. If you sing to yourself, it controls stuff inside, takes your mind off stuff. Sing what? Dunno. Not sure the lyrics make much difference overall, Calum. You're Beautiful by James Blunt, maybe. That's an underrated song, John. Much darker than you think. Like, he freely admits he was high. And once the beautiful angel he was after spotted that... ..the curtains closed for them. Got to sort the ladies out first, Blunty. Everybody knows that. That, or La Bamba. Remember what you need to dance the Bamba, Calum. Feet. Do you want a bacon sandwich? Yeah, all right. I'll stick the grill on, you nip down the shop and get the bacon. What? That's fair. And if them hoodies on the corner start getting fierce, just dance La Bamba in front of them. There is one thing that is totally and utterly certain in this life. And that is you will never see me dance. I'll put money on it. One day, you'll dance. Who's that out there? Jude Cassidy. Don't think I care for you. I just need you alive. What do you mean, he's gone? Argument about the M25 got out of hand. An argument with the M25? You can't leave me here on my own. I don't know who to go to, Rose. No sign of him leaving Mercer's flat. I'll have to tell Lenny. You'll sign Calum's death warrant. Somebody's lying to me. What's given can be taken away. Calum, let's discuss Jude's disappearance again, shall we? Pete? Emergency services. Which service do you require? Which service do you require? Hello? Hello, is anyone there? Hello? - I didn't... - What? - Know anything. - What didn't you know? It wasn't... You knew. Hello? Is anyone there? Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? - Hello? - I've just killed two people. My aunt and my uncle. My name's John Mercer. How did I become a hit man for the state? It all began five years into my life sentence, on the day Lenny Douglas came to take me out of prison. I killed my aunt and uncle because they'd hurt somebody that I love. Maybe that was what got Lenny's attention. He liked emotions. They gave him something to manipulate. So while the rest watch the Champions League... you stop trying to push down the walls... you pick up your book... and you worry about the mystery of things. Lenny offered me a new life, a new home, a new family. But there was a price. And that was the job that he wanted me to do. Lenny Douglas ran a secret team in the war on organised crime. I never knew who gave him his orders but somebody at the highest level had approved our existence. And his first trick was to reunite me with an old acquaintance. Now, how can I describe him? Take the person who annoys you the most and multiply it by ten. You think you've left them behind, you think you'll never have to see their face or hear their idiot voice again. That's Calum. Che-hey! First time I heard this tune, I was in a club in San Antonio with these two mental birds, Niamh and Catherine, cousins from Burnley, mate. Everyone's a cousin in Burnley, Calum. Mate, I'm not joking, this tune was playing, I had me hand up both of their skirts at the same time, it was like I was dancing with Sooty and Sweep. Very suave, man, very suave. Oh, mate. That'll be a little surprise package I've arranged for us this evening. Without wanting to give the game completely away, they're twins, from Macedonia and... .. they don't have keys. You - out. Laters, bro. - Mr Douglas. - Calum. - Oh, no. - John Mercer! I'm not staying here. Where was it you shared the cell? Pentonville, wasn't it? - I'm not staying here. The lad's an idiot. - That's a bit harsh. Granted, he's no Stephen Hawking. - John, mate, don't be like that. - Don't "John, mate" me, please. - I'm not staying here. - You don't want to live with him? Fine. Get rid of him. - John! - What are you doing? This way you get the flat to yourself. John, mate, please, I've changed a lot since then. I'm sorry about that deodorant, mate. Just tell him you'll stay with me, please. John! Please! Don't... What you've got to ask yourself is do you think I won't do it? That's the only thing that should be on your mind. Do you think that I won't do it? All right. Next time we play chicken, I'll make sure the stakes are worth it. There's some goody bags in your room - and other essentials. - Are you going to tell me who you are? - You'll have to wait till tomorrow, now. That one. I've always thought scarlet suited you best. It's red. And don't be so cheeky. Are you bursting with curiosity about the new recruit? Yeah. When do I get to meet him? Oh, no - when you decide the time is right. - You know me so well. - He's not gonna do a runner? No, he's not that stupid. - So when do you put him to work? - I do happen to have a case for him. Good. Well, let's go eat and you can tell me all about the mysterious John Mercer. - How's the cat? - What cat would that be, Calum? The one in them science books you was always reading in prison. Is the cat dead? Is it not dead? Is it both dead and not dead? - You remember that? - It was clever shit. But that was always your reputation, right? Don't mess with the clever, quiet one. Why are you so negative about it all, John? I enjoyed sharing a cell with you. I learned a lot. Why have you got your eyes closed? Cos when I open them again I'll be waking up in my nice, cosy cell and you won't be with me. I'm still here. - What do you do for them, Calum? - You know... Pretty much what I've always done. Multi-tasking, bits and bobs, needles and pins. Not quite how the judge described it at your sentencing, was it? What do they want us to do? Do the stuff the law can't do. Dealing with people the law can't reach. Come on, John, you're the clever one. Have you not worked it out yet? Check out the CVs. Who can make sure the cat is most definitely dead? Doof! You're the specialist. You're the killer. # Oh, know how I love you # As around the sun the earth knows she's revolving # And the rosebuds... # Morning, flatmate. Did you sleep well? I made some breakfast. I'd have made some for you but that was the last of the bacon. - As they always this noisy upstairs? - Mm. I like it. People enjoying themselves. Helps me get to sleep. They're Colombians, I think. So what happens now, Calum? About what? I'm sorry - I forget you need a bit of extra help. Remember yesterday? I was dragged here from prison late at night? - You were nearly garrotted? - Oh, that. - He wouldn't have gone through with it. - Just a kinky game, was it? Yeah. I'm a bit worried he likes me too much, actually. And so when are they gonna turn up again, Calum? Oh, don't worry. Lenny'll be back soon. And that's what he does, by the way - turns up. Doesn't always knock, either. So make sure you're not washing up naked. You'll be wanting to see your sister, I expect. You've not even met your niece yet, have you? - Is that allowed? - Course it is. You're not on the run, licence is in order. Go ahead. Go see Jess and the kids. I'm not a control freak. This is where you really want me to live, is it? You wouldn't want to live here - too many ghosts. Door. This house belonged to Kevin Simmonds, a senior SOCA detective, also head of Operation Merlin. Him and his wife were murdered here a few weeks ago while the kids were upstairs sleeping. The kids found the bodies - I saw it on the news. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I keep forgetting they let you lot watch TV in prison. Yeah, and we had toilet roll. It's political correctness gone mad. They dragged Alison Simmonds out of bed, sat her down here, forced her to watch her husband's execution. After that, he wrapped this tape around her face. Suffocated her. Must've taken a while. The man that organised it is called Jacob Gould, a real high-flyer. But I think he had help from the inside. - From who? - Bent coppers. They bring out the traditionalist in me. I really don't like them. So you're part of this Operation Merlin as well? No. I'm the guy they come to when operations like Merlin go wrong. - Who do you work for, then? - Oh, now there's a question. Officially, nobody, of course. I'm on sick leave from the police. Post-traumatic stress. - Yeah. Unofficially? - I don't think that's any of your concern. - My job's to disorganise crime. - Illegally. - I prefer to use the world "irregular". - Yeah, yeah, I bet you do. Look at that. Bobbies on bikes. Everybody loves a bobby on a bike. Unfortunately, a million of extra bobbies on bikes couldn't deal with Jacob Gould. Operation Merlin couldn't deal with him, either. What do you want from me? You're going to kill him for me. - Niece and nephew, right? - Yeah. I haven't even got them any presents, though. A bit behind on computer games and stuff. Should've talked to me. CDs, DVDs, video games - Steve can get anything in that department. No, John. That'd be irresponsible. That's not their age range at all. - How did it go with Lenny? - Pretty good, really. He wants me to become an assassin for the state. - That's what you did in the army, right? - Wrong. - That was legal. - Yeah. Then you whacked your aunt and uncle. - Shut up, Calum. - I'm just saying. At least with Lenny you know it's someone who probably deserves it, not just some scared kid in a trench. I didn't fight in the trenches, Calum. You wouldn't be going to see your sister if Lenny hadn't got you out of prison. - Yeah, well, I'm not gonna do it. - OK. - He can find himself another hit man. - I'm sure. - I'll tell if you tell me. - No! OK, kids, lunch is ready! You should get yourself a new map. No. This is my only school prize. - The names are out of date. - I know. The old maps are the best. The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics - that's a brilliant name for a country. Are you gonna talk to me? What do you want to know? How did you get out so early? Where are you living? What are you gonna do with your life? I'm out on licence. I'm living in a kind of halfway house. My life - I don't know, Jess. I need some more time on that one. - Is that it? - Course it's not it. - I did it for you. - No. I killed them for you. - You did it for yourself. - Why did you write to me, then, Jess? Because I love you and you were the only person I could turn to. You're all I've got right now, Jess. Promise me you won't go away again? I need my brother back. I promise. Promise me you won't go away again. I need my brother back. - Are you ready? - One condition. Just this then we're done. I'll talk to Calum. He'll get you everything you need. You talking to me? You what? You what? Check this out! Don't point a gun at me ever again. - Where'd you get it? - Kosovan Kate. - Who's Kosovan Kate? - She works with the Albanians. Here, you need to wear these - give the Old Bill a head start. She's setting up her own people? Mate, I don't know how much you know about that part of the world but they treat women in a very degrading way. Dealing with you must make a nice change. She noshed me off for free, - that's got to tell you something. - Yeah, it certainly does. Lenny wants it done at the airfield. Isn't there a lot of CCTV down there? Entrances, lobbies, exit to runways, manager's office. There's a blind spot in the toilets, though. It's what everyone does before they get on a plane. - But the front entrance is covered? - I can get you in a different way. How? Did a Duke of Edinburgh climbing course at my pupil referral unit. What was my nickname inside? - Spider, right? - Not the nickname I heard. We're done. I'm gonna go and stay with my sister, now. I assume we never meet again, which is a tragedy I'll just have to live with. Here are the keys to the flat. - We're not finished yet. - We had an agreement, Lenny. I think you overestimated your ability to insist on deal breakers. - You gave me an undertaking. - To review. So consider it under review. OK. Fine. - Send me back to prison, then, please. - We can do that. - Then do it. - Only this time, it's for life. I'll make sure of it. - You were never gonna set me free. - Don't be so ungrateful, John. I've even authorised your mobile to make outgoing calls. This is freedom, isn't it? Oh, mate. You're not gonna believe this. I've cracked it with one of them Colombian chicks. Big beautiful brown eyes. Mate, I have got a strong feeling that before long, Manuela - that's her name - she's gonna be down here dancing on the end of my bed. Chill out. No. Because I've heard it all before. No, I can't do this any more, Richard. Just leave me alone, OK? - Sorry. - Don't be. Well, other people's rows. Oh, they're great, they're very entertaining. Especially ones where they're shouting in the street. Well, we're done with the shouting. - Is that why you're here? - Yeah. I left him. - Poor guy. - He messed up. - Stupid guy. - I like to think I'm the easy-going type but, well, there are some things that can never be forgiven. Tell me about it. My name's John, by the way. I'm Rose. Take her all my money, tell her buy some pretty clothes. That's a song. Don't Forget to Give My Love To Rose. Be nice if somebody would. Would you like another drink? - So, where are you heading? - Patagonia. - Travelling light. - Mm-hm. Well, you don't need much stuff out there, do you, so... Just a change of clothes and a bottle of whisky. - I don't have any whisky, actually. - Oh, no? - No. - Then you lured me here... Under false pretences. Just a lie to get you into my room. Cunning. But unnecessary. Sorry. I might need this to replace the pretty clothes you ripped off me last night. You work for them. Good luck. So what now, John? - How do you see this playing, then? - You tell me. I won't go through that routine next time you run away. Then why did you this time? Oh, you know I'm always curious as far as you're concerned. - You wanted to go back to prison. - Yeah. I'll take my chances. They're not good, to be honest. And of course, that kind of decision has an effect on others. You and your sister - you were separated when your parents died, weren't you? You entered the chaos of the care system and Jess went to live with Aunt and Uncle. Who raped her and called the neighbours in to hold the camcorders. Incredible what goes on behind the net curtains in this nation of ours. Robert and Abi, though, they seem contented little kids. I'm sure they'd rather be together, with your sister. Is he fast? Cos I'd put money on me ripping out your windpipe before he takes a couple of steps. I would, too. That's partly the reason you're here, isn't it? - You're a class act, aren't you? - I'm a necessity. Destroy the lives of innocent people just to keep me your slave. Stop being so melodramatic. You might learn to love me first. Well, what do you want? I want you to watch the undercover cop I mentioned to you. His name is lain Risdale. I think he was involved in the death of his commanding officer. The man smells corruption. Things'll work out just fine, John. One simple rule worth remembering. I call the shots. Ay, Papito, si. Duro, duro, duro. More. Ay delicioso! Oh, yes! Oh, f... - Oh, what did I tell you? - Si! Si! Si! Si! - Oh, si! - Oh! Police have arrested two Albanian men in connection with the murder of British businessman Jacob Gould. Gould had stepped down from the day to day running of his shipping and cargo businesses after being linked with the illegal arms trade. Police confirmed that Mr Gould was being investigated by undercover officers as part of Operation Merlin, targeting gun-running networks in Britain. There was also speculation that the killing could be linked to an attempt by Albanian mafia to control gun-running in London. - Where are you from again? - Hampshire CID. I'm part of the external review of Operation Merlin. We allow Gould to stay in business, then we go after him. Now, what's that about? Well, us allowing Gould some leeway for strategic reasons is information you might want to lose on your hard drive. You're joking. Knowledge is power in this game. Yeah, well, it does seem your boss had something of an ego. Putting Gould away became an obsession for him. It did seem that way to me at the time. Must have thought his name was Kevin Costner, not Simmonds. - Have you seen that film? - What film? The Untouchables. Great film, it's a great film. You should watch it. Sean Connery. "They put one of ours in the hospital, we put one of theirs in the morgue. " - Right. - lain? A light's just come on in the car. It's like a green explanation mark. - Probably needs a service. - It's brand-new. Thanks for your time. Nice house. You want a hand buttoning up? One of the few men I can trust not to grab my arse. What's the deal with the Merlin undercover? Risdale? He unfortunately reminded me that knowledge is power. Pack him off to Magaluf. He can sell dodgy pills from his bar with the rest of the bent coppers. It's a funny thing to sell your soul for, a new Beamer. Yeah, cars have never really done it for me. Well, what has? Apart from your work, of course. My work's enough. And now you have a new toy. One that you gave the full VIP treatment to. You gave me the impression he was very important. We could've hauled him in at the hotel. I know that. - Do you mind if I ask why? - He'd been in prison for five years. That's very charitable of you. And aren't you always telling me that the stick is a weapon for the short term? I'm glad somebody listens to me. Best hope he doesn't fall for you. He's more likely to try and kill me. And why should you care? Glittering in a place where a heart should be. Go and make a drink. Why are we watching this geezer? Because Lenny hasn't decided what to do with him yet. Neighbours used to have loads of them in the garden. Fishing rods, little ones. Sitting on mushrooms. Mum said it lowered the tone. Gnomes. I don't like gnomes. Also, I don't like fire-eaters. I don't like dried fruit of any kind. And I don't like those big mental dogs that come running at you in parks. You wouldn't just let a lion or crocodile run loose in Regent's Park, would you? - Say some things you don't like. - Shut up. - I'm bored! - Look, surveillance is boring. There's a pair of jays in that tree, if you look. Big thrill. You know who really loves the countryside? Nonces. Makes it easier to grab the kids. You always hear about weird shit like that happening in places like this. That's more like it. That's the undercover's wife, Caroline Risdale. Ticking my boxes. I'd go under the covers with her but there's only thing that comes before a lady. Me dinner. I'm starving. I'd eat those two jays in a sesame seed bun. I'll get us something to eat, then we can work in shifts. - Why? - Because I may garrotte you myself. Don't be like that, John. Come on, mate. - What kind of bag? - I dunno. A bag bag. - A suitcase, an overnight bag...? - That's it. An overnight bag. He goes out for a jog like you said and... he comes back out with a bag. What was I supposed to do? Did anything happen to spook him? - Did he see you? - Course not. What? If we mess this up, they will find you dead of an overdose and I'll be back in prison waiting for someone to stab me in the showers. Better hope he hasn't gone far, Calum. Iain? What do you mean, a runner? Just took off, all of a sudden. - Find him for me. - And then what? Operation Merlin's all but dead and buried. I want him dealt with, John. And this time, no guns. - John, I've finally cracked it. It's churros. - What are you talking about? The Spanish doughnuts you dip in hot chocolate after you've been out. - Churros. - Good. Once again last night, the wife got a call at 10:30. - The husband saying good night. - Exactly. He's always calling. They must like each other. We need to get in, get the phone number, without her knowing. How? We need a woman. Like Mr Ray Charles says, we've got a woman. - You must be joking if you think... - How many other birds do you know? We meet again. Thanks again for everything you did to help me. Oh, don't just thank me. How else did I know which hotel you'd be in? Which amoeba scratching his crutch not a million miles away might know that you kept your private stuff hidden behind a map of the world and tell Lenny you were leaving? What is it you do for them, Calum? You miserable little snitch. I got used to having your big cheery smile around. - Didn't want to see you leave. - What do they have on you? I'm guessing that sex with strangers in hotels wasn't top of your career list. It wasn't. Advance warning - I'm getting ready to do a runner as well. As long as it's not in my direction, Calum. I was once a police officer. I bet you looked lovely in that uniform, PC Rose. Was Lenny your guv? Undercover, actually. So can you can get us into the house? I might just be up to it. Sweet. Ooh! That's the front door. Darling, I'll speak to you tomorrow, OK? Oh, I'm awfully sorry to disturb you. - That's all right. - I've broken down just along the road and wouldn't you know it but the bloody mobile...! Would you mind if I borrowed your phone to call the AA? Erm... You'll have to tell me where I am. - Of course. Come inside. - Thank you. You're an absolute angel. Last number to call and last number dialled. - How was she? - What does that mean? - Did she seem suspicious or anything? - All right. A bit trusting. I wouldn't let anybody into my house like that. - That's cos you're a hard-faced bitch. - Sorry! Well, you steal credit cards from vulnerable women. - Just a moment of madness? - No. I fell for a cheap whore in a bar. Well, it had been a while, hadn't it? Which showed. Sorry, guys. I'd advise you two to get a room but you already have. Shut up, Calum. Now, sit nice and try not to lick the windows. Hello, is that the Longbay Hotel? Could you put me through to lain Risdale, please. - Yeah. That's him. - John, check the words to this. Yo! And I ain't chatting no black talk. - "Yo" means "I" in Spanish. - Very impressive. There's more. "Yo no soy marinero. " "I ain't no sailor. " "Soy Capitan. " "I'm Captain. " - I've found Risdale. - To dance La Bamba, what do you need? "Una poco de gracia. " Shut up! For once in your stupid and pointless life, shut up. I'm in love, mate. Do you know what it feels like to be in love? Have you ever been in love? That ain't a trick question. Have you ever loved anybody? Anybody whose name isn't Mercer? # Bamba, Bamba # Bamba... # We're going to the seaside, pack a bag. # Bamba, Bamba Me llamo Calum. Me gustan los churros y las chicos. You forget about the sea sometimes. Yeah. Reminds me of biscuits. Really? Why's that? When we were just little kids, Mum and Dad used to take us to the seaside. Me and my sister would sit in the back, eating digestive biscuits. John, listen... I've never done what you do. I know. Just ask him for the time or a light or whatever. You can do that. I'll do the rest. Do you want some fudge? I've eaten tons. I suppose I'd better save some for my mother. You OK? I feel a bit... - Yeah, yeah. - Can you...? Stop the car! Stop the car! Mm? It's done. So are either of the kids' fathers gonna turn up to this dance of theirs? Abi's dad sends money and a card each birthday. Rob's dad, nothing at all. I could come if you want. To the dance. They'd love that. They think you're great, you know. Rob said you were cool. Got some catching up to do. Like you said, you're not going anywhere, right? They're good kids, Jess. You've done a brilliant job with them. I can't find my shoe. I'll need it for the beach. This is freedom, isn't it? One simple rule worth remembering. I call the shots. Not watching porn or playing one of your computer games, Calum? - I couldn't sleep. - Yeah, me neither. When we was in the car, my breathing went all funny. I couldn't get air into my lungs. It's panic. And the best way of controlling that is singing. Sing to yourself - it controls stuff inside, takes your mind off stuff. - Sing what? - Dunno. I'm not sure the lyrics make much difference. You're Beautiful by James Blunt, maybe. That's an underrated song, John. Much darker than you, think. Like, he freely admits he was high and once the beautiful angel he was after spotted that... Curtains closed for them. Got to sort the ladies out first, Blunty. Everybody knows that. That or La Bamba. Remember what you need to dance La Bamba, Calum? Feet. - Do you want a bacon sandwich? - Yeah, all right. I'll stick the grill on, you nip to the shop for the bacon. What? That's fair. And if them hoodies on the corner start getting fierce, just dance La Bamba in front of them. There is on thing that is totally and utterly certain in this life - and that is you will never see me dance. - I'll put money on it. One day you'll dance. - Who's that out there? - Jude Cassidy. Don't think that I care for you. I just need you alive. What do you mean, he's gone? - Argument about the M25. - You had an argument about the M25? John, you can't leave me here on my own, please. - Who else can I go to, Rose? - No sign of him leaving Mercer's flat. - I'll tell Lenny. - You'd be signing Calum's death warrant. Somebody's lying to me. What's given can be taken away. Calum. Let's discuss Jude's disappearance again. # Para bailar la bamba # Para bailar la bamba # Se necesita una poca de gracia # Una poca de gracia pa'mi y pa'ti # Ay Arriba y arriba # Ay arriba y arriba por ti seré # Por ti seré, por ti seré # Yo no soy marinero... # WHAT IS THIS? HAPPY HOLIDAYS,DWIGHT. BUT DO NOT OPEN IT TILL CHRISTMAS. YOU ARE SO PATHETIC. HOW LONG DID THIS TAKE YOU? THREE HOURS? FIVE MINUTES,ACTUALLY. I AM A BLACK BELT IN GIFT WRAPPING. YEAH,NO SUCH THING. THEY DON'T GIVE OUT BLACK BELTS FOR THINGS THAT ARE STUPID. WELL,I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT 'CAUSE I'M GONNA TAKE IT APART IN ABOUT FIVE MINUTES. I THINK IT'LL TAKE YOU A LITTLE BIT LONGER THAN THAT. REALLY? IF I CAN SKIN A MULE DEER IN LESS THAN TEN MINUTES, I OUGHT TO BE ABLE TO CUT MY-- Capture: FRM@summerwind Sync: FRS@ÈÐÎí The.office.Season05.Episode10 I'M SORRY,IT'S THE LARGEST ONE I HAVE. I WILL NOT BE THE BIG GUY IN THE TINY HAT. THIS IS THE FIRST CHRISTMAS PARTY I'M THROWING AS HEAD OF THE PARTY PLANNING COMMITTEE. THE THEME IS "NIGHT IN MOROCCO." THIS ISN'T YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S CHRISTMAS PARTY. UNLESS,OF COURSE, SHE'S FROM MOROCCO, IN WHICH CASE IT'S VERY ACCURATE. HEY,PHYLLIS, DO I NEED THIS INVITE TO GET INTO THE PARTY? - YES. - AWESOME. I THINK THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST CHRISTMAS PARTY EVER. ANGELA... YOU'RE GOING TO MOVE THIS FOR THE PARTY,RIGHT? IT'S NOT OUR THEME. IT'S THE NATIVITY SCENE. ALL RIGHT... YOU CAN KEEP YOUR CAMEL, - SHEEP,ELEPHANT. - HEY. AND THE NORTH AFRICAN KING CAN STAY. EVERYTHING ELSE GOES IN THE DRAWER. I AM NOT GONNA JUDGE PHYLLIS FOR DESECRATING CHRISTMAS. THERE IS ONE PERSON WHO WILL,THOUGH. AND PHYLLIS JUST STUFFED HIM INTO A DRAWER. I NEED YOU TO GET RID OF THE TREE. - BUT-- - THANK YOU. OH I DON'T THINK IT'S BLACKMAIL. ANGELA JUST DOES WHAT I ASK HER TO DO SO I WON'T TELL EVERYONE THAT SHE'S CHEATING ON ANDY WITH DWIGHT. I THINK FOR IT TO BE BLACKMAIL, IT WOULD HAVE TO BE A FORMAL LETTER. AH,YOU BROUGHT IN YOUR DOLL COLLECTION. THESE ARE NOT DOLLS,JIM. THESE ARE COMMODITIES, THE SAME AS GOLD OR OIL. EVERY YEAR I DO RESEARCH TO DETERMINE WHICH TOY WILL BE THE MOST POPULAR OF THE CHRISTMAS SEASON. THIS YEAR IT'S A DOLL-- HALF GIRL,HALF UNICORN. CATCH PHRASE: "MY HORN CAN PIERCE THE SKY." PATHETIC. I BOUGHT OUT EVERY STORE IN THE AREA OVER THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS. How dumb am I? Look for the signs. Now that you're awake to this, you're gonna start seeing them everywhere. Actually,you think you're gonna see them everywhere, so don't drive yourself more crazy. Just look for the really obvious ones. Hmm? Really? Stupid. Johnny Frickin' Diamont? # Angel,and the moon that lights my night # # You're the angel in my dreams # # You're the earth beneath my feet,angel # # And the fire in my soul # # You're in my soul... # Right on,man. That was for Bella. It was for you. I've been trying to call you. I just had,like,the most amazing stream of consciousness right now. I'm gonna write us a rock opera, you know,that we could,like,sing together. How we met and how we made love,and it... it's like... # The sky was opened... # I can't sing. And that's okay. God. It's like every time - that I see you,I,I,I... - Johnny. I'm just so into you. God! You know what? I want to,like,get tattoos together and drink each other's blood. We need to break up. - No. - Johnny, you asked me to give another week. I gave it another week four times. - It's not working. - No,it's working. Okay,it,it's,it's just working so well that you just can't see it, and that,like,terrifies you,man. Look,we're in different places. You want to drink my blood. I want to go have margaritas and,like see a movie or something. I can't take all the emotion and crying. And on my birthday. Uh... I'm so sorry. You didn't remember my birthday? ! Baby,I'm sorry. Oh,my God! Happy birthday. This is like some kind of,like,nightmare or something. Happy birthday. No,happy birthday. No. You know what? Forget it,man. Hit the road. No,no,no,we suld,like,celebrate or something. No. I'm in the middle of a gig here. Okay? That's right. Gigging right now. Bella! Bella! Really? You are gonna hitch your hope wagon to Johnny Tearducts? There are higher forces at work here. I'm just trying to avoid dying alone. He wasn't a bad guy. So he's a little passionate. Whatever. Didn't he try to suck your blood? Drink my blood. Like in a nice way. I was just going to check out his show and see what happens. I'm going to tell you exactly what's going to happen. You're going to go; he's going to sing a couple songs about rainbows,get a little misty and then you're going to be right back here telling me how you're afraid that your lady parts have closed up. Oh! There's seriously not one single job that doesn't require prior experience. What about prior experiences, you know,like experiencing the nitty-gritty of real life? You should say that on your next interview. Yeah,I'm taking advice from the chick who bases her decisions on vomit and bird poop. Dude,cinnamon graham crackers? I grabbed without looking. Cyrus,why can't you just take that job at the nursing home? Because when I went to visit my grandmother, one of the old ladies sexually harassed me. And the hospital director has the balls to say it's my fault 'cause I dressed too sexy. I don't need that. Hey. Baby,what did you want for breakfast, but you just couldn't have? S'mores. Oh,baby... why did you get the cinnamon ones? Oh... Want to come to a show with me tonight? It'll suck. You know what,I would, but,um... I can't. You can't come to a show because your crotch shed? What do you think? I was the afraid the Hitler made me look too fat,so I went with Gandhi. - You want my honest opinion? - Of course. My main thought is,really? I mean,come on already. You ladies and your advanced grooming. When did having a vagina become a full-time job? You know how much pressure you're putting on the lazy,pain-fearing Lincolns of the world? I'm just giving it a try. Relax. I'm sorry,but you teach high school history. You should have pubic hair. Oh,please. The head of the English department has a Prince Albert. So we says. You know,you should try this. It's actually making me kind of randy. It's like all out there,you know? I know,I saw. Augie is going to lose his mind. That's great. Why can't you come with me? I can't put pants on. I'm all tender. - So wear a skirt. - I'm going to be cold. Wrap a scarf around it. I think tonight I'm going to consist of S'mores and marathon sex with a grateful boyfriend. Fine,whatever. You suck. Have fun. You,too. So why didn't I ever meet this guy? Because we spent most of the relationship sitting in his van talking about feelings. You know,sometimes I'm out and I look around at all the men and it makes me want to go home and,like,knit Marty blanket or something. Go,Johnny! Whoa,crybaby's a little badass. Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch... Thanks for coming out. Holy hottie,Batman. # Bitch disguised as an angel,made me want to die # # Said she gots to go in the middle of my show # # She didn't even tell me why,she didn't even try # # Bitch left me on my birthday,ripped my world apart # # Bitch left me on my birthday,angel with no heart # # Bitch left me on my birthday # Based on a true story,man. On his birthday! - # Bitch! # - # Bitch # # Left me on my birthday,heart is made of lead # # Bitch left me on my birthday,birthday wishes dead # # Bitch left me on my birthday # # Bitch! # Look,I'm sorry. But wouldn't that be kind of gross if that turned me on? You look like a ten-year-old girl. I feel like a pervert. You got used to the Hitler. Well,the Indian pacifist just is not my thing. That says a lot about you,don't you think? It's not right,okay? There's hair there for a reason. Oh,really? And what exactly is the reason? I don't know. Maybe it's nature's way of saying, "Hey,look over here. There's something really cool. But it's so cool we just can't show it to you." So,it's the easy viewing that's bothering you? No. Look,I'm sorry. I grew up looking at my dad's "Playboys" from the '70s,okay? Real boobs and shag carpeting. Times have changed,Augie. Girls have gone wild. That's exactly my point. I don't think that the porn industry - should be dictating fashion. - Okay,well, my point is that I don't care if I painted it blue and hung shingles on it, you should never ever walk away from it. Ever. Dude,what's your problem? I don't want to,like,open an old wound or anything. What would his fans think if he sees me and,like,bursts into tears? That you're the bitch that dumped him on his birthday. - We should leavave. - No. What if he is the one? Or what if he's not and you're just supposed to get back with him long enough so you can break up with him on Christmas? So he can put out a holiday album. Guess I'm just looking for an obvious sign. Freaking psychic. Women with acrylic nails always screw me over. All right,I'm running to the little girls' room. Try not to be anyone's muse. # And you think love is to pray # # But I'm sorry I don't pray that way # # Once I ran to you # # Now I'll run from you # # This tainted love you've given # # I give you all a girl could give you # # Take my tears and that's not nearly # # Oh... tainted love # # Tainted love # # Don't touch me,please # # I cannot stand the way you tease # # I love you,though you hurt me so # # Now it's time you pack your things and go # # Tainted love. # The guy sings a five-minute song about what I bitch I am, and then kisses me and walks away. I should not be turned on right now. I can't believe he walked away. I mean,who does that? And what,has he been locked away at T Hot Rocker Academy of Kissing for the past five years? Hey,Bella. What? Where's my car? Hello! Obvious sign,girl. What the hell? - You were driving. - Exactly. I was busy. Dude,I'm gonna blame you. It's my option. Are you serious? I'm not paying this time,just so you know... Hi,Marty. Um,so,my sister is an ass. And,uh,we're gonna need a ride. We're,like,at... Wilson's. Hey. I totally wasn't waiting for you. My sister's car got towed. Right. Johnny! What's up,brother? - Good show tonight,man. - Thanks,brother. - See you tomorrow,Johnny. - Johnny. Yeah,the show was great. Your musical tastes have changed a bit,huh? Oh,yeah,I guess you can't really sing along to the new stuff,huh? I don't sing,remember? - Yeah. I do. - I noticed you're rocking the eyeliner now. What's up with that? What,you don't like it? I dig it. It's just,I... I admire that you can do the "in the eye" thing. It makes me look like Boy George. Yeah,well,uh you never needed any help drawing attention to your eyes. So,how's... It was good to see you,Bella. - Oh. Okay. - Take care. Bye. He shut me down. Boom! Gone. See ya. It was cold. Yet you found it hot. No,I mean,he was hot while he happened to be shutting me down, but it's not like the shutting down itself was hot. I really think he's changed. Yeah,he's changed into a guy that doesn't like you anymore. And it happened the same exact time he became more appealing. Weird. Dude,he totally still likes me. I don't know what you're getting so indignant about. You won't even kiss me when I get my sideburns trimmed like a quarter of an inch too short. When they're too short,your chin looks huge. I warn you about that before every haircut. - Bella. - Oh,jeez. didn't Vivian almost break up with me one time for wearing Crocs? I'm kind of still kind of asleep,Aug. You're supposed to love me no matter what. Anything I do. Whatever. That's ridiculous. So,if you put on 200 pounds and become a serial killer, I'm supposed to just roll with that? Like normal things,Augie. Like,what if I suddenly grew a disgusting mole out of my back,like Bella. Ew. You grew something. Let me see. - No. - Come on. No,it's disgusting. It was like a little freckle a month ago and then it just ran amuck. All right,now you're gonna have to show me. Seriously,you might be,like,sick. Let us help. I'm very sensitive about this. Do not make fun. I'm serious. Do not make fun. Okay. Promis promise,promise. Oh! No! Oh,my God,you guys suck. So,if I had one of those on my back, you wouldn't lust after me anymore? Um... no,no,I wouldn't. Seriously,you should never show that to a potential soul mate ex. Maybe it's a sign. You should see if psychic chick can read it. Hey,what's up,guys? Hey,dude. - Morning. - Hey,man. Late night? What are you doing here? It's a beautiful day. I thought I'd take Rufus for a hike. I don't like that you just show up here whenever. Yeah? Like how you just show up at my house? Those were extenuating circumstances. You're not the only one who worries about a tsunami. Why don't you come with us? We'll just hike the lower ridge, grab some lunch; it'll be fun. Because it'll be just like we're dating, but we're not,so,no. I like how you'll take me to your sister's wedding, but you won't go for a hike with me. I like how you'll live with me for three years, but you won't marry me. Oh,see? Hike's ruined. Okay. Bye-bye. See you guys. Later. Just so you know, when Elliott showed up,I think your mole moved. Seriously,it's like twitched a line bit. Skin Nugget thinks Elliott's the one. He doesn't want to be the one. Hey. We didn't really get a chance to catch up the other night,so... Is there something that you want from me,Bella? I thought maybe we could grab a drink, but if you're not into it... "Into it"? Yeah,you know what? I could be into it. I could also just... want revenge. You know,like,big, classic John Hughes cinematic movie revenge. But you could also be into it? See? Like right there. I mean,just for,like,a nanosecond, I'm thinking,wow,she is so adorable I want to just die. And then I just want to throw eggs at you. Look,if I could provide you with the me from sevenrs ago, I would say "egg away," but it's been a while. I'm a very different person. Really? Dude,I was 26. 26-year-old women think they're the center of the universe. I'm not... I'm not like that anymore. I'm very,very different. I'm more thougful and open and concerned about what's going on in other people's lives. And you still have great timing. # Happy birthday to you # # Happy birthday to you # # Happy birthday,dear Johnny... # # Happy birthday to you # # And many more. # Hey,that was fantastic. It's Bella. Um... I'm at the shop. I hope you're having a really nice party and a great birthday. Okay. Happy birthday. Why aren't you at your party? Um,you sounded like you were choking when you called. Thought I should come over and make sure you were all right. You seem fine. - Hey. - Hey. Happy birthday. So,you,uh... need some help? What are these? Um... those are bluebells. They're for my sister's bouquet. They're cute. We went the "beauty and meaning" route, so every flower is symbolic. Like,bluebells are for humility. Peonies. They're for sharing a happy life. And,uh... these little guys? Those are... those are lilies of the valley. They're for sweetness. # I can feel the pressure building # # And I want you like I don't know # # Oh,boy # # I'm a sucker for your sound # # And I love it when you're around # # I'm a sucker for your sound # # You know I'm playing with you now. # I missed you so much,my angel. My heart... is so... full right now. So was he crying with... with sound, or just physical tears? A little sound. Did he at least throw himself into traffic after? No. After,we talked about the intense feelings he has for me and why he has them. Which should be fun,right? I don't know why I spend so much time on my abs when nothing turns women on more than indifference. - Not what it's about,Cy. - All I know is rocker guy was a changed man when he was blowing you off. And then he cried. Just saying,she's a girl who needs the chase. - No,I'm not. - Yeah,you are. But this time it's totally about the crying. So he showed a little emotion. Girls are supposed to like that. I do not need the chase. Bella,you're a control freak. You love a project. To you,an ambivalent guy is like a poorly organized closet. I don't... I don't want ambivalence. I want to be adored. Johnny's great. The guy touches my face. You know how many face-touching guys are left out there? I hope it's a similar amount to the number of hand-washing guys. Good morning,my love! Dude,just sack up,already. Geez! I saw it. It was fine. It was cute. Whatever. Excuse me. Gotta go to the office. Later. What the hell did you do to this thing? Were you hanging from it? Nothing. I don't know. It's old. - You had sex right there. - Shut up. - Right where your father is. - Shut up. - He totally knows. - My point is it took Elliott a year to say he loved me, and another year to say it without using a cartoon voice. I think I should be ready for a guy who shows emotions,right? - Yeah. Totally. - Don't you think? Just maybe not so many of them. And on separate occasions. And,like,when you're not there. Hey,beautiful. Hi. This is a surprise. I hope it's okay. I just... I couldn't stop thinking about you. Dad. Um... You know,I found a strand of your hair on my jacket. What,is he shipping out tomorrow? It smelled like you. I'm kind of working. I love that you're working. I love that you work here,and that your hair smells. Thank you. Oh,can we go for a walk or something? Yeah. Is that...? Get a cramp? You okay? Yeah! We should come back to the beach tonight. Yeah! We should come back to the beach tonight and go skinny-dipping. Yeah! You know? Like,I just want to be naked in the dark ocean with you. Naked. You know? Johnny? No,no,no,no,no. Everything's fine,it's just... What? I like you. I just need you to,like,taper it back a little. Just a little. Like this. You don't need to do that. It's all good. We're cool. You're kinda,like,bam, instant on me,bam? Yeah. and I need to,like,ease into it. Have a little flirty time. I don't want flirty time. Flirty time's awesome. Flirty time is not awesome,okay? This is awesome. This. This is awesome,okay? Come on. Don't be afraid of it,Bella. You have absolutel no patience. You're going to drive yourself crazy for nothing. You made me crazy. You,like,told me to look for the signs. Like bird poop and lightning bolts or,like,actual signs? I don't know if you've noticed, but there's a lot of signage out there in the world. I told you only to pay attention to the really obvious ones. The signs,thus far,have been conflicting. Would you like me to come with you and show you the correct ones? I could ring a bell and point. This is not about me,okay? A very nice person could get hurt. Nice people get hurt every day. Sometimes,it's good for them. Did I,like,screw you out of land during the Renaissance or something? Why do you hate me so much? - This is me liking you. - Well,can you stop? And,seriously,how are you so slim? Here's what you got right. Ready? It's not just about you. That's all you're getting. You want a burger,baby? No. So how am I the stupidest person in the world? When did that happen? I think you've been working towards that for a while. I am totally stuck. I cannot break up with him again. He's the most loving,open guy. All he wants to do is give and share. The absolute worst word you can use to describe a guy is what? "Busty"? "Emotional." "Busty's" pretty bad,too. It's clearly not working for you,Bella. Why don't you just end it already? I can't. I can't hurt his pride again. I mean,like,I'll have to wait till he breaks up with me. I wonder how he feels about the Gandhi. Real men do not fear the Gandhi. I'm sorry. What was that? I said that as loudly as I possibly could. Look,you really want him to break up with you? -Yes. - Just be needy. Be clingy. Ask him how he's feeling every five seconds. Ask him about sex with his ex-girlfriends, and then get really upset over anything he tells you. Basically,just do exactly what you did wrong with the last guy you dated that you really liked. I can totally do that. Always be on my side. Just stay. I have a rehearsal. Let's just be naked for five more minutes. I'm sorry. I'm already 30 minutes late,all right? I gotta go,okay? I'm sorry. Please. We could take a bath. Just soak in the tub till we get raising fingers. That sounds really great, but the guys are waiting for me,all right? Fine! You know what? Just go. Seriously. Okay,the band rents the rehearsal space. It's not like we're meeting in somebody's basement. Are you not attracted to me? What? ! I just can't help thinking if I was some hot,tatted-up 22-year-old, maybe rehearsal wouldn't seem so important right now. This is insane. I mean,I know I've gained a little weight, but it's not like I'm not going to lose it. I just have to be careful because of my food issues, and,yes,maybe I have a tra of body dismorphic disorder again, but whatever. Who doesn't? I have to go. You're so grossed out right now! I am not grossed out,okay? I'm just late. Don't leave me! What is with you tonight? I don't know! I don't know... Fine. Let's go take a freakin' bath and figure it out. Come on. Let's go make raising fingers. Baby,the MySpace page is just for the band. You have nothing to worry about. I can't believe you were stalking me on MySpace. Hey,would you mind washing my back? Mind? I'd pay good money to wash that back. Come here. There you go. This beautiful, exquisite, amazing... Uh...! What? What? Um... Did you know that you have a thing - What? - on... on your back? Like a... like a freckle? Like a mole. Is it gross? It's,uh,um... It's pretty big. You need a doctor to look at this. Okay,yeah,um, you know what? Uh,we should get out. Come on. You know what I want to do? I want to go on the computer and check out one of those medical sites. I mean,I'm sure that it's nothing, but I'm gonna worry about it until I know for sure. How could such an ugly mole end up on such a foxy lady? Nature screwed up. Come on. Thank you for being so sweet to me. Why wouldn't I be? I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt you. Come on. Bella? Hey. He's still sleeping. What? He's still here? All right,look,I did something really stupid. If you did something bad to Augie,don't tell me. I love you,but he's been my best friend for 15 years. No,it's not that, but thank you,by the way. There's a hierarchy. I'm sorry. Alright,look,this is the most embarrassing moment of my entire life. Really? 'Cause... Oh! What is that? Bella,I swear to God,if you laugh... Ser... seriously,what the hell is that? - It's a merkin. - Is it alive? How do you not know what a merkin is? It's like a toupee for down there. How would I know that? Is it the next link in the chain of crazy, wax-it-all-off-and-stick- something-else on? It's from,like,a zillion years ago when prostitutes would have to shave everything off so they wouldn't get lice. That one's a reproduction,right? Are you gonna help me or not? What do you want me to do,braid it? I can't get it off. Oh,sweetie... I accidentally put it on sideways, and,and now I can't get it off, and I have a Ted Koppel. Oh,sweetie,come here. Don't worry. We'll take care of you. Okay. Okay. Stop laughing! Bella? Okay,okay,okay. Holy cow. Okay. God,be careful! What was the plan here? You know,to show Augie that he's an idiot. I figured he'd see some hair,come on to me, and then,you know... I take advice from you? Hey. Good morning. Did I wake you? No. No,I... I thought you were gone. I was gonna make you some breakfast. Come back to bed. Come here. Are you okay? I'm in bed with the girl of my dreams. Why wouldn't I be okay? I'm so glad we talked yesterday. I was really overwhelmed and ready to bolt, and you were just so cool and understanding. I don't want to make the same mistakes I made last time. You know... I think that I am going to have to write,like, a couple million songs about you. Oh,yeah? Is that okay? Or do you need me to,like,taper back? No! No,that's perfect. Hmm? Yeah. Hey! Hi! Oh,sorry. Do you know your friend here is a pervert? A $60 Brazilian wax and he's grossed out, but yet Neosporin and scabs are apparently really enticing. Baby,I would do you if you had Bella's mole. I just don't like it when you mess with yourself. You guys,you have to come tonight. You have to. Johnny's got a gig. And you're thinking if he meets your friends,he'll dump you. No,I'm thinking it'll make him happy and I want to be supportive. Okay. Uh-huh. Right. I'm sorry. Come here. Come here. Hmm? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Whoo-oo! I hope he sings that song about star-shine. Whoo! This first song is for a very special woman in my life. Bella,put your hand up. I want everyone to see who you are. You,uh changed my life. This song is for you. # You're the devil and angel in the soul # # In your heart,there's a big fat gaping hole # # I fell again # # You said to taper back # # Gone in the morning # # Revenge is stronger than love # # Stronger than love # # Revenge,you'll be single forever # # Revenge,revenge # # You'll die alone # # Revenge,you'll be single forever # # Revenge,revenge,revenge,revenge # # You'll die alone # # I hope the dog can get used to a houseful of cats # # 'Cause it's crazy,eternally solo # # Nutty nut job cat-lady life for you # # Am I tapering back enough for you,angel? # # Revenge,you'll be single forever # # Revenge,revenge # # You'll die alone # On the bright side,I did not find Johnny's performance the slightest bit hot. And I do not know why you didn't let me just kick his ass. I kinda had it coming. You know what's great about being broken up with via rock song? Via crappy rock song that didn't even rhyme. You get all the information. I feel totally debriefed. I do not want you marrying a musician anyway. You think he's all rock star and in the end,he's just some bitter 50-year-old who still wears black jeans. Do you see how low that is? I used to be able to touch my knee to my nose. Without having sex? Hah! My career is so over. Thank God I'm getting... Oh,my God,my ring is gone! Now don't freak out. I'm not freaking out. You know I'm great at this. I'm not freaking out. A earring? No. Engagement ring. I'd ask you to help,but I doubt you know what one looks like and I don't have time to draw you a picture. You always underestimate me. Seriously,dude,I almost peed my pants. Thank you! What are you doing? Nothing. I'm starving. Thought maybe you'd join me for brunch. Forever? I don't think it'll take that long. Elliot,I don't want to just be your girlfriend. What makes you think being your half girlfriend's making me any happier? You're not hating me as much. I want a life partner, not bi-weekly sex and a hangout buddy. I'm on the soul mate path,man. No stopping or standing. I don't want you to come to the wedding with me. And I don't want to see you anymore unless it's about Rufus. I think it's better this way. Yeah,well... you're wrong. Moo? How are you? What are you doing out here? Hi,my name is Bella. I think I may have found your cat. No,I was gonna try and grab him,but I was afraid he'd run. Um,yes. Class of '92. Shut up! No way! Tommy Anzide,how are you? What are you doing? AUGIE: Bella,you got ten seconds before I take your turn! Ten,nine, Thank you. Tell me you took a long time just to make me a burrito. Oh,look at that. You covered your hideous mole with a Band-Aid. Thoughtful. Seriously,just get that removed. I will when it gets colder. # I'll blame it on a place # # Where I keep my questions hidden... # At this very moment, in the town of Couer d'Couers a girl named Chuck was attending her father's funeral. The only parent she had ever known was accidentally, inadvertently killed by the boy she loved who was, at this very moment attending his own mother's funeral, who had actually died twice. It was a blood vessel bursting in her brain that caused Ned's mother's first death. However, young Ned had a secret gift: He could touch dead things and bring them back to life. Must've slipped. Clumsy. Did the timer go off? It was a gift with two simple caveats: Keep a dead thing alive for more than a minute and something else would die in its place. And touch a dead thing twice, it dies again, this time, forever. Young Ned felt responsible not only for his mother's death but the death of Chuck's father. His feelings of guilt were amplified, because he too was in love. The next time young Ned would see the girl named Chuck she would be dead. Unlike Chuck, young Ned still had a father. - After a brief mourning period... - I'll be back. ... he would deposit Ned at the Longborough School for Boys. After her own father's death Chuck was fostered by Aunts Lily and Vivian a renowned synchronized-swimming duo and sister neurotics who helped her build a new home, bee by bee. It was Aunt Lily who found the ad on the pages of the Thrifty Nickel in a fleeting wisp of something resembling maternal instinct. Just wanted you to stop staring at that spot where your father died. Young Chuck rebuilt her home by building a new home for a homeless queen and her hive. The bees thrived. So did Chuck. And while Chuck thrived Ned waited for his father to bring him home and waited and waited. Just as Chuck remembered how home felt Ned tried not to forget what home was. He held on to it the only way he could and became the Pie-Maker. And the girl named Chuck became dead. She was 28 years, 24 weeks, 3 days, 11 hours and 51 minutes old when murdered on a Tahitian getaway. - But one touch from the Pie-Maker... I think somebody's truck's on fire. Oh, jeez. ... she was alive once more. Sorry I'm late. The Pie-Maker could never touch her again. Chuck's survival now depended on a delicate dance a ballet of avoidance. Going. - Stopping. - Crossing. - Waiting. The Pie-Maker took precautions to ensure Chuck felt safe at home. Slippers were worn, adorned with bells. - Going. - Stopping. Following. Digby kept his eyes open to the hazards of touch a canine proximity alert who could not only play dead but could do so from experience. Neither the Pie-Maker nor Chuck could move without the other one knowing and to the Pie-Maker, it felt like home. So Chuck and the Pie-Maker built a home together, bee by bee. Tragically, rogue pesticides killed those bees, but only briefly. This will go better if you wear less clothes. You've already got me shucked like an ear of corn. Well, I'm shucked too, way down to my silky intimates just to put on a beekeeper suit. Remind me why you're shucked and silky. I thought it was only fair. You stopped being fair. Right. You do realize I can get new bees. I can make a new home for new bees. You love these bees. A happy hive's a happy home, and you can't be happy if you're dead. There are a thousand dead bees here. I don't want butterflies to die because you bring my bees back. Think about it as a pest-control issue. There's a water-bug infestation in the drainpipes. If I touch 1000 little dead bees to life maybe 1000 little water bugs will no longer be a problem. Last time I asked you to bring something back, you said no. It was your dad. That would've been weird, if not actively traumatic. To bring my dad back even for a minute, it may be ghoulish, but it's also sweet like a taxidermied pet, or someone's ashes in a teddy bear. If you could bring your dad back just for a minute, you wouldn't? That would be an awkward minute. I haven't seen the man in 20 years. I'll stick to bees. At least they know what home is. - This is very, very sweet of you. - And will probably sting. Well, don't offend the bees. How would I offend the bees? Olive Snook once felt as at home in her Pie Hole uniform as she did her own skin. But recently, home and uniform had begun to chafe. Believing Chuck merely faked her death Olive kept the secret that Chuck was still alive. But the secret that weighed the most in Olive's satchel of deception was that she was still in love with the Pie-Maker. At that very moment, Private Investigator Emerson Cod was enjoying a new love of the pop-up variety. Combining his fondness of detective work and stress knitting Mr. Cod authored and constructed Lil' Gum Shoe. I love you, Lil' Gum Shoe. Mr. Cod had time to author pop-ups because he saved time solving murders with a Pie-Maker who can undead the dead and ask how they got that way. My wife has been murdered. What the po-po say about your wife? Work-related mishap. Said she was sloppy. - Was she? - She wasn't sloppy. She was having an affair. She was gonna leave me or him. I'm not sure which. She wasn't using proper nouns, but I was eavesdropping. If your old lady was stepping out, why you give a damn who killed her? I was hoping she was gonna leave him, not me. I couldn't bear it if she left me. - Uh-huh. What line of work she in? - Bees. You know anything about bees? I know somebody who knows somebody. Ahem. Well, let me just say that I am sorry about your loss and I do accept credit cards. The facts were these: One Kentucky Fitz, wife of Dusty was the number-one Bee-Girl of Betty's Bees. Betty's Bees, trademark, was all the buzz in beauty and well-being with honey and honey-based moisturizers anti-aging creams, soaps and lip balms. Kentucky was 26 years, 3 weeks, 5 days and 39 minutes old when found stung to death behind the wheel of her Betty's Bees Bee Mobile. - Which one is Kentucky Fitz? - Biscuits. - Biscuits? - You got biscuits, you got shrimps. Biscuits. Shrimps. - You got something to flip her over? - Why you gotta flip her over? Front don't look no different and it ain't like you gonna be having a conversation. It sure ain't. Ooh. Kentucky? Maybe she's paralyzed from all the bee stings. I'm just taking in my surroundings. Apparently, I'm dead. - Really? Oh, I'm sorry but was your death accidental? Was I accidentally swarmed by bees? No. I may have been up to some mischief. Your husband thinks what got you killed was some workplace romance gone sour. And my husband has a problem with eavesdropping. There was no romance. It was my workplace went sour. I was leaving Betty's Bees. Did you tell Dusty you were leaving? If I told him, he would worry and ask a lot of questions and then I'd have to lie about sabotaging Betty's Bees. - Why did you sabotage Betty's Bees? - Why? Because Betty had it coming. Intention was to quit before I got caught. - Who caught you? - I couldn't see his face. Or her face. All the lights went out one by one and then there was a terrible hum. Then, out of the darkness, it came for me. It spit something, and then a swarm of bees attacked. I tried to get a good look at it but the bees were already stinging my eyes. That's terrifying. That's terrifying. Oh, sorry. Five seconds. - How'd you sabotage Betty's Bees? - Any last wishes? - Only that Dusty not be alone. Yeah. - How'd you sabotage Betty's Bees? - With a lot of might... That's nice. We don't know what she was doing, but we do know it took a lot of effort. Do you hear something? - Is she still breathing? - That's not breathing. I told you not to turn her over. Could that have happened to me on the roof? Could I have been swarmed? In my underwear too. I could've been swarmed in my underwear. Hey. You don't get to put them pictures in my head. - That's an assault on my imagination. - What a horrible way to die. Thousands of stingers stinging you. Like secrets that don't sting once they keep stinging you until you're bloated and full of pus. - Who wanted à la mode? - Ah. Well, Kentucky was bloated and full of pus because she was sabotaging Betty's Bees. Kentucky had it in for Betty, but who had it in for Kentucky? The terrifying bee man. What if he was made of bees? That's why she couldn't see his face. He didn't have one. What if there's a whole bee-folk society who walk like people? - You're thinking about how you can train bees to walk in people shapes? - Yeah. Ain't no bees walking around in no people shapes. Kentucky was wiggity-wiggity-whacked. - With a swarm of bees. - Smells like an inside job. Kentucky was talking to someone when Dusty was dropping eaves. Someone who knew what she was doing and would wanna kill her for it. If it is an inside job, we gonna need an inside bee girl. - No. - We gotta tap this honey at the source. Uh-huh. "Calling all Bee-Girls." Under the nom de plume of Katherine "Kitty" Pimms Chuck answered the call calling for Bee-Girls. You know, I find that the most amazing creatures have furry behinds. Sitting in Woolsey Nicholls ' office, discussing the furry behinds of bees Chuck realized this was her very first job interview ever. She considered this fact for a moment, then had to ask: I have to ask, are you the Woolsey Nicholls from Bzzzzzzzzz! Honey and More? Mm. Yes, I am. Why are you here? Isn't Betty's Bees your biggest rival? I own Betty's Bees now. We made the acquisition very quietly. These days, merger can send brand loyalists into a tizzy. Well, I'm a honey loyalist, and you'll get no tizzy from me. I just hope you're not killing Bee-Girls. - I beg your pardon? - The Bee-Girl sales division. With any acquisition, there's always downsizing and restructuring. I hope it doesn't affect the Bee-Girls. The Bee-Girls will always have a home in my hive. Unfortunately, although fortunate for you we've recently had an opening in the Bee-Girl division. Oh, yeah, I heard about that. Kentucky Fitz? Something about a honey-harvesting tragedy? Yes. It's very sad. She had a bright future here at the new Betty's Bees. Yeah. I also heard that she was thinking of leaving Betty's Bees before she died. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. - Well, you sure hear a lot of things. - Very gossipy office. Yes. Well, I think you will find that particular rumor to be false because Kentucky was invested. She was the new face of Betty's Bees. We designed our entire brand relaunch around her. But Betty is the face of Betty's Bees. Oh, no, no. See, Betty... Betty's the old face. "Old" being the operative word. - She's 37. - She's 38, which rounds up to 40 which rounds up to 50, which rounds up to old. And if you are in the business of trying to sell a product that promises youth, beauty and vitality you have to make a strong case for it. - Mm-hm. Correction: We have to make a strong case for it. Kitty, I would be honored if you called Betty's Bees your new home. Betty's Bees is my new home. Ah. Stupendous. WOOLSEY Well, well... - Chuck has a new home. I blame you. I blame me too. That went well. Emerson Cod's inside man a.k.a. Betty's Bees ' newest Bee-Girl, Kitty Pimms buzzed through the offices of Betty's Bees until she buzzed upon the office of one Kentucky Fitz. Chuck/Kitty searched for any hint of a saboteur's agenda. What she found was the eponymous Betty Bee. What are you doing in there? - Cognitive therapy for claustrophobia. - You're Betty Bee. - That's right. Why am I explaining myself to you? You should be explaining yourself to me. I'm sorry. I thought this office was vacant. I'm Kitty Pimms. I've just been hired. - By whom? - Woolsey Nicholls. Woolsey? So you're replacing Kentucky? A little soon after her death. Seems distasteful, don't you think? It does, but it also speaks to the efficiency of your Human Resources department. - Mm-hm. I wonder how else you'll be replacing Kentucky. Since I'm a withered hag tattered by every grain in the hourglass Betty's Bees still needs a fresh face. And after what happened, well no one wants to think about that when they're buying lip balm. Welcome to Betty's Bees. Kentucky's affairs were clearly a bee in Betty Bee's bonnet. Oh, I just wanted to say what an honor it is to be working with you... Thank you. Get out. And so Chuck got out. But the question remained: Betty Bee: Coconspirator or killer? Kentucky was the new face of Betty's, which does give Betty motive. Being replaced by better-looking always gives you motive. But Kentucky was sabotaging Betty's Bees, trademark which was owned by Woolsey, which gives Woolsey motive. Woolsey's a businessman. Somebody sabotage him he'd send in a swarm of lawyers, not bees. I know. They were lovers of the same-sex persuasion and the key is for their love nest. We've ruled out workplace romance. I'll just cross that off my list, then. I haven't ruled out workplace romance. Romance does give you motive. Somebody always loving somebody they shouldn't be loving. - Is that for your aunts? - Extra vanilla. Olive Snook discovered it wasn 't vanilla while delivering pie to Chuck's aunts. It wasn 't the only secret she would discover that night. The high doses of herbal mood-enhancers not only caused particularly vivid side effects but they also prompted a confession. I'm Charlotte's mother. It was a confession not even Lily's sister, Vivian, had heard and to ensure that she never would, Lily banished Olive from their lives. Since both Chuck and her mother were supposed to be dead neither could know the other was alive. I don't know if Betty killed Kentucky, or if she didn't but I know this: Betty knows something about something. - All right, I'll give Betty the shakedown. - No. No shaking. What if someone from Betty's Bees finds out you're a spy? Spying is like sabotage in that they kill you for it. That's what you do with spies. You kill them and you don't feel bad, because they're spying. Ned, they're not gonna kill me during office hours. Yeah. Stop trying to spook my inside man. - You could die. - And you're already dead. Told you she wasn't dead. If I could breathe, I would vomit. Olive Snook. Every week, a delicious, life-giving pie, and then nothing. I thought you were dead, and so soon after Charlotte. I was beginning to take dying personally. We would've called, but by the time I knew, Vivian was already on the bus. Lily was very tenacious. She tried to get me to come home in six consecutive stops. She insisted on coming all this way just to ask why you stopped delivering pies. I'm really flaky. - That's what I told her. It's not about the pies although the pies were always lovely, and so vivid. I gotta go get somebody's, uh, something. Get under there. They're here because you stopped delivering their pies. All this time, I've been making pies... And dosing them with what you claim is vanilla, but that ain't vanilla. I'm gonna dose the both of y'all with shut-the-fudge-up. The weight of kept secrets had become unbearable for the pint-sized pie-slinger. Why don't we talk? I thought you were my friend. - Like I said, flaky. - I got something to say. I'm gonna say it to you and you and you and your hump. Olive wanted to let loose the secrets and lies she'd been force-fed by her friends: That Chuck was still alive that Lily was her mother but instead, what came out was this: What's gotten into you? I am a sawed-off shotgun full of secrets. - Did she say she was armed? - No, I don't have a gun. I am a gun. At any moment, truth buckshot could come spewing out of my muzzle. Look out. That's enough. Truer words were never spoken. This rifle is gonna go away in a little satin-lined case with the trigger locked and the safety on. I quit. I'm quitting you and this, and, you know, all of this. Olive, you don't have to quit. Calm down. You want a drink? Lily, hand me your purse. I'm not thirsty. I'm tendering my resignation and resigning my tenders to the cold, harsh reality of what's not meant to be. But you can't just leave. Vivian, go wait outside. - But... - Haven't you caused enough trouble? This is your home. Where will you go? I know a place. Aunt Vivian used to always say there's nothing sadder than an empty birdcage. Is Olive ever gonna come home? She didn't say. She said her apartment was paid to the end of the year, and she asked me to water her plants. I feel like I broke her. I enlisted her to spy on my aunts and then turned her into a homeopathic drug mule. What homeopathic drugs was she muling? I baked antidepressants into pies to get them out of the house. It's something I've always wanted to do, but never had the chance. I guess it worked. I got them out of the house. Olive got them out of the house. They got out of the house. I mean, Vivian took the bus. She never takes the bus. She thinks it's too intimate. I wish there was a way I could thank Olive. You know today's my first day at Betty's Bees? That was my first job interview ever. I mean, I haven't gone anywhere with my life, and this is my second one. All I have is a fake résumé filled with things that I've never even done. I mean, I've never even lived alone. - How long did you live alone? - Long enough. Don't you think that's odd? My entire life. My aunts swept in the moment my dad died and you the moment I died. You're thinking about living here. Aren't you? Yeah. Well, you hate corduroy and sleighbell slippers. I'll stop walking in on you doing things you don't want me to know about. Would never have happened if you wore your slippers. - It'll be romantic. - I'm confused. More. - More? - More explanation. How is it romantic? You've got a job and now you're moving out? But I didn't get a job. I'm undercover Kitty. And I'm not moving out, I'm just moving next door. It's French. It's very first-class Parisian living. His-and-her suites and coy midnight knocks on the door to share a lover's boudoir. - You'll be knocking? You can knock too. This was not romantic for the Pie-Maker. Yay. Knocking. Where's Olive? Olive Snook was where Lily had taken her. It was a place that valued Olive's silence as much as Lily did. Hello, Betty. A little bee tells me you've met Kitty Pimms. Briefly. Well, this morning Kitty says to me, she says, "I wanna speak to Betty Bee. Bee-Girl to Bee-Girl, tell her how much she means." Bless. If there's a lull in the conversation, you just ask Kitty why she loves bees. Oh? Oh. - You'll be glad you did. - Thank you. Betty, I know Kentucky was your number one Bee-Girl and I wanna live up to her standard of honey harvesting and sales excellence. You're not really going to stand there and kiss my ass, are you? Or didn't Woolsey tell you? He didn't. How politic. - Tell me what? - His acquisition was a hostile takeover. - No, he didn't mention the hostile part. - Oh, yes. The ass you were just kissing is now just the ass of a retired honey mascot. That's my new title: Honey mascot/consultant. Used to be founder and president. That would make me stinging mad. I get to keep my old office, just not my dignity. When all of your bees die, it's hard to care about any of it. - All your bees died? - The colony collapsed. Mites might've caused it. In fact, they did. Took over every hive. Not long after Woolsey took over Betty's Bees. Might almost be poetic if it didn't suck so much. Kentucky didn 't sabotage Betty's Bees with a lot of might. - She sabotaged Betty's Bees with: - A lot of mites. - Take a lot of mites to cause a collapse. - Sure does. I grew up with generations of those bees. The first hive was an infestation in the corner of my bedroom. I was 5. - I tried to kill it. - Oh. I was stopped. Mother was a Methodist and Daddy was a pragmatist, so: "God put those bees there for a reason." - They were right. - You lived with bees? That sounds magical. We called it the Honey House. The Honey House is empty now. We left together, me and the bees. Those bees built Betty's Bees. What happened to those bees? Could it be sabotage? A conspiracy? How dramatic. You think someone intentionally murdered my bees? - Just a thought. - It wasn't sabotage, Kitty. Sometimes, bad things just happen. Unbeknownst to Chuck, a.k.a. Kitty Pimms something bad was about to just happen to her. Did Kentucky talk about colony collapse? Is it upsetting? She tends not to tell me upsetting things. It's when a beehive becomes inhospitable. In this case, infested with mites. All the bees fly away to die. It's a natural phenomenon. Except when a bee company gets bought out by its rival and its star employee dead, then maybe it don't happen so naturally. See, Kentucky, she was sabotaging Betty's Bees which took a lot of might, as in effort, and a lot of mites, as in pests. She was infecting the hives. Somebody found out and killed her for it. How do you know she was sabotaging? She confessed. Before she died. Not to us but to a reliable source who wishes to remain anonymous. Is your reliable source Betty Bee? - What makes you say that? - Kentucky was very close with Betty. They were like sisters until someone asked Kentucky to be the new Betty. It must be hard, your wife was killed because of sabotage but at least she wasn't cheating. She loved you very, very much. - And she'd never hurt you. - She was the only family I ever had. You know, that I liked and liked me. If I was more comfortable with you people, I'd cry. - You can cry. It's okay. - Thanks. It is not okay for a grown-ass man to weep in public with a bunch of happy families enjoying pie. If you can't hold it, you take your ass to the men's room and cry in private on the toilet. - Like a man. - I need to use the men's room. Look, I know where Betty put the key. I can get it tomorrow. She's not gonna stay in her office all day. What? I thought you gonna start squawking about how dangerous it'll be to go back. Squawk, squawk. I'm not gonna wag my finger. It's Chuck's life and she can live it however she'd like. I can't expect her to sit inside all day and... - Hide! - No, I don't need to... Woman, hide your ass. Oh, Vivian. I didn't know you were here, um. We're just closing up. There. All closed. - There's still people inside. - Cleaning crew. How are you? To be honest, I wasn't craving pie, I was craving company. Lily absconded with herself. First time in 30 years I don't know where she is. I didn't know where else to go. It's all right. I'm sure Lily will be back. Oh, yes. Though I don't know about Olive. And then of course, there's Charlotte. Everyone seems to be leaving me. Home was my haven. Now everything there just reminds me of everything not there. Chuck. I mean, Charlotte. Her room is how she left it. Clothes in the closet, her books on the shelves. Her special pillow, still at the head of the bed. I didn't know she had a special pillow. It was her father's. I'm sure it's teeming with fungus and microscopic bugs that feed on flakes of human skin, but she was fond of it. I know you loved having Charlotte safe at home smiling on the other side of the room, but she's gone. She's moved out. Hm? I mean on. She's moved on. Maybe it's time for you to move on and get rid of that pillow. As the Pie-Maker considered Chuck's worldly belongings and how Vivian clinged to them Olive was clinging to her own. Uh, excuse me. Mother Superior. Hi. I have been here for a day and was told the porter would come for my things. - Do I need to tell him what room I'm in? - The poor, sister. The poor will come for your belongings. Part of your vow of poverty? I thought that was a temporary vow since I'm only gonna be a temporary nun. Don't you have some kind of storage facility? This is your home for as long as you're here. And as long as you're here, you will live as a nun. But I like my belongings. That's why they belong to me. I wanna be poor in other ways. We offer sanctuary, but it doesn't come without a price. Work hard and you will see results. Commit yourself and you may even find that you wish to stay. Like a gym membership. I can cancel at any time? God in his wisdom has led you here. Take refuge and hide your secret from the world. And once your baby is born, you can return to the outside world. Oh, whoa, hold that pregnant pause. I'm not with child. Unless it's immaculate conception or I wore a strange man's underwear. I just assumed, based on who brought you here. This is where Lily came to have Chuck? Ah. Here come the poor. Come, help yourselves. Help yourselves. No, I... - Look at this. No, I really... Look at that case. - What a surprise that would be... I'll take that. ...when you get home. Listen, poor kid. You get... My c... My couch. - Is Betty in? - She's on a call. Can I take a message? - Ned, what are you doing here? - Filing, fielding calls, making coffee. What happened to assistant Giancarlo? He had to, um, scoot. What happened to Giancarlo was this: After eating a slice of pie from what he believed was a secret admirer in Accounting Giancarlo experienced what could best be described as extreme intestinal distress. You pruned his pie? Sent him home, hid in Human Resources waited for them to call Happy Time Temp Agency, then canceled the order and showed up with a smile and a pleasant attitude. I think that's the most romantic thing I ever heard. He is stalking you. You don't think I'm stalking you? I'd be a hypocrite to judge you for dosing someone's pie. - Why? Are you stalking me? - Depends. Now we're living our Parisian lifestyle, does that mean I can't be close? I feel safer now that you're here. Then this isn't stalking. It's just good, old-fashioned chivalry. Walk with me. Cancel my appointments. I'm leaving. But I've got one more thing to do. Have my car waiting for me downstairs. With the Pie-Maker serving the perfect distraction Chuck beelined for the stolen bee key. She found the bee key exactly where Betty Bee put it. Then she made an important discovery of a different kind before she herself was discovered. Chuck. I told you this was dangerous. Alive again doesn't mean you can't be dead again. There's a reason I don't let Digby play in traffic. I suppose we can talk about this later. Why are you...? Why is she pointing at me? Why you rolling toward me? You're in front of the door. Uh... Oh. Don't offend the bees. Don't offend the bees. Don't offend the bees. Don't offend the bees. Don't offend the bees. Don't offend the bees. What happened to you? What happened was this: The bee man was not composed of bees. The drones nested around their queen safe inside the bee man 's mouth. But when he spat the queen she signaled her drones to attack any perceived predator. Unlike Kentucky Fitz, Chuck kept a cool head and an open mouth. She was not perceived as a predator but a nest. Look. That's Betty Bee as a little girl. Well, either she was an unfortunately hairy child... Or Betty Bee is the terrifying bee man. - Wasn't she with you? - She didn't get off the elevator. She must have come back up here to wiggity-whack you for being a spy. Like she wiggity-whacked Kentucky. Well, my wiggity wasn't whacked. And I got the bee key. - That's a house key. I know what house. As Chuck followed the bee key that was key Olive Snook followed her homesick heart to the confessional. Forgive me, Father for I'm going to file a police report on all my worldly possessions. I know it's greedy and wrathful, but there's been a miscommunication. And since we're discussing it I'm not really belonging here. Aha. - I knew you'd lapse. - You. You have some crust coming in like that. How long have you been lurking? Since you walked through those gates. I had to make sure you didn't get any ideas in that nubbin of yours about leaving. It's your fault I'm here. You and your damn... Hail, Mary. - Secrets. I spent so much time praying, I've run out of things to say. I'm having awkward silences with God. - I wanna go home. - Where's home? Back to slinging pies? Where you spend every waking minute praying that the man you worship will show you some sign of his love? You can do that here. And commiserate. These nuns aren't my people. Unless you're telling me "flibbertigibbet" is a title of respect. You know things about me nobody knows. This place knows things about me nobody knows. You holidayed here 30 years ago and found a baby in a cabbage patch? And by "cabbage patch," I mean your lady parts. Vivian can never know about that. She thought I was in Paris, apprenticing in a world-class fromagerie. Why don't you just tell her? Charlotte's father, my lover, was Vivian's fiancé. You did not just tell me another secret. You're a home-wrecker too. - Jiminy Crispy. - Oh, don't "Jiminy Crispy" me. Chuck thinks her mother died during childbirth. I mean, according to Vivian, Chuck... Charlotte thought her mother died during childbirth. Well, it doesn't matter what Charlotte thought. She's dead now. Oh, look at you, all pious. You'd think you'd fit right in at a nunnery. - Hell, might even do you some good. - Who are you? The good-for-me police? Oh, come on. That epic tanty you pitched back at The Pie Hole? That wasn't all my doing. I realize I have some man issues to sort out. So sort them out. Sort them out here, where men won't be an issue. Stay as long as you like, until your head is clear. But Olive feared Lily's idea of "as long as you like" was considerably longer than hers. Thirty-nine miles away, north by northeast the private detective, the Pie-Maker and Chuck climbed a windy road to the childhood home of Betty Bee. A home that was supposed to be vacant. But the home was not vacant at all. That colony collapse was a hoax. Her bees didn't die. She stole them. Damn. You know, suddenly a crazy cat lady don't seem so crazy no more. So Kentucky helped Betty steal Betty's bees, they fake a colony collapse. Get away with conspiracy, sabotage and grand theft. But why would Betty wanna kill Kentucky? Maybe she didn't kill Kentucky. Woolsey handpicked Kentucky to be the new face of Betty's Bees and then she betrayed him. Yep, she sabotaged his company and stole his bees. She played him like Boo Boo the fool. Boo Boo had it coming. Woolsey tells me I'm too old and slaps my name on an inferior product. Did you know there's now 60 percent less honey in all Betty's Bees honey-based products, including honey? He wants the company, have it, but I'll be damned if he can have my bees. Hello, Kitty. And you. You're not a temp. Who are you people? We're investigators hired by Kentucky's husband to find her killer. There is no killer. That's what the police told me. Can't prosecute a swarm of bees for murder. You can prosecute Woolsey Nicholls. I loved Kentucky like a sister. But if I told the police Woolsey killed her because we sabotaged his company I would go to jail longer than Woolsey would for murder. Jail might be a safer place. I was attacked in your office by a swarm of bees. - I think those were meant for you. If you loved Kentucky tell the police. You can't let Woolsey get away. Woolsey is gonna get away with murder. Unless you can pull his DNA off those bees. Oh. Please, don't get up. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Emerson Cod. I'd like to ask you questions about the murder of Kentucky Fitz. - Kentucky wasn't murdered. The swarm chased her to her car, all the way from the colony. That swarm followed her from you. You tried to kill Betty, except that wasn't Betty. This is the queen bee cage you spat when you were covered in bees. We found it outside Betty's office, under a swarm. And if we tested it for spittle, I'm sure we'd find plenty of yours. Well, I have no idea what you're talking about. The facts were these: Woolsey Nicholls was madly in love with Kentucky Fitz. The operative word was "madly." Betty Bee was a withered hag by the mere fact that she wasn 't Kentucky. Shortly after Kentucky gratefully accepted Woolsey's offer to become the new face of Betty's Bees he discovered her gratitude was insincere and her intention was sabotage. Infected bees were found in Kentucky's possession. She was smuggling mite-infested bees into his new colony. Betrayed and brokenhearted, but not sloppy Woolsey dealt with Kentucky using a means that would also imply accidental death. Woolsey Nicholls confessed to the murder of Kentucky Fitz and attempted murder of Betty Bee. He never knew the colony collapse was a hoax or that Betty had stolen back her bees. Since Kentucky Fitz was like a sister to Betty Bee Betty Bee was like a sister to Dusty Fitz and made him her new partner. Realizing that his colony had not collapsed but had merely expanded into his-and-her suites the Pie-Maker labored to make Chuck's suite feel like home. - Are those my books? - Yeah. And my furniture, and... My special pillow. How...? Welcome home. And so the Pie-Maker had come to understand home did not mean four walls and a door you never walk out of. Home was a feeling of where you belong. For Emerson Cod, home was Lil' Gum Shoe. The tale of a girl whose father couldn 't find her so she had to find him. Mr. Cod insists it's a work of fiction but if published, it could serve as a how-to manual for an audience of one. For Olive Snook, home was the place she hoped to find herself and perhaps find new friends with not so many secrets. Hi, Pigby. For lonely tourist Charlotte Charles, a.k.a. Chuck home was where the Pie-Maker was. And this home was a place the Pie Maker's father, who abandoned him, would return to even if the Pie-Maker never knew he was there. Previously on Greek - Are we in the wrong house? - I'm Lizzi. I'm gonna be here until ZBZ National determines that you girls are back on the straight narrow. I could be anchored down here a while. It sucks we have to follow these new rules, but I'm fully confident, - that we can still have fun. - It is our mission, to execute some of the most ass-kicking, rule-bending parties that this campus has ever seen. Did you see anyone from school over break? - Just a fling. - Fling-tastic! I just want you to consider giving Omega Chi another chance, - we might surprise you. - A gay frat guy is just weird. The greek social calendar will now be much less crowded. I'll be watching you. Excuse me. This is so freaking stupid. I don't know who to kill first, Lizzi or myself. Sorry. That was a tod louder than I anticipated. 5 minutes and not a single one of you completed a full rotation. That's disappointing. Rush group A front in center. Speed spot, speed spot! As rush group A, you represent the top conversationalists of this house. I expect you to set an example for rush groups B through F. A rush rotation group should run like a well-oiled machine, so we can keep that potential sisters focused right here, on you, on ZBZ. What am I doing? The signal that the rushee looks bored in the conversation installed, and that you need me to come help you as fast as possible. But it took you 30 seconds to answer Casey's signal. I think the girls are getting a little tired, and possibly wondering why it is we're practicing on a Friday night, when rush isn't until next year. We do these drills because practice makes perfect, if we wanna get this house back in shape, we need all the perfect we can get. - Where are you going? - I can't be here anymore. This sorority has become like a job. Right now, I'm in college so, I don't have to have a job. This situation is only temporary and, this whole Greek crackdown will blow over eventually. - Where's your ZBZ spirit? - I've been faking it, a lot. I know than loosing a sister brings up difficult emotions, but trust me, I am not some tyrant here to work you to death. Just because I'm a little older, a little wiser, it doesn't mean that I don't need some RR. ZBZs work hard, and we play hard. Define play. Back at Polytech, we started a book club. We could do the same thing here. The Great Gatsby is one of my favorites. We'd have to read it? It still resonates, Gatsby is like like the super rich Omega Chi wanna-be. He threw really wild ravaged parties. Who wouldn't wanna read about wild parties rather than have them? Adieu mister social calendar of the greek system. Never have in our line a newspaper to find something to do. - Any good movies? - I've seen 'em all. Movies are all I do these days. I'm starting to worry about pop corn **long? ** How long you have to wait for Omega Chi to make a decision about you going back? I don't know, I'm sort of in a holding pattern. My purity pledge group is playing biojeopardy tonight There's free refreshment and girls. There was a girl one time. I think it was a girl, I'm almost positive. - I'm gonna keep looking. - The circus is in town... Last time, I won the entire Rascal Flatt's catalog - on CD. - If you wanna hang out with your KT brothers, I completely understand. Why don't you hang out with my Kappa Tau brothers forever? - That sounds harmless. - No I'm serious, you can pledge KT. You're still technicly just a pledge at Omega Chi, why wait around for them? There's been a couple days and no notice. We'd have so much fun together. Let me think about it. OK but what are we doing tonight? You know what, this guy in my dorm mentioned something about a '70s party Normaly I pull these things off but it could be fun. The Carpenters are one the greatest most underated duos of all time. Do you wanna join us? It's like I'm living ever. I bet the party money went towards the disco bar. I think I'm gonna swing by Kappa Tau tomorrow. Episode 1x12 "The great Cappie" Transcript: Kasius, Allysiah, HorcKs, AkaZab, Here you are. I guess we should talk strategy. You, don't worry. This afternoon, I'm gonna pick up a ton of copies of TGG. The Great Gatsby, I think it feel really nice to get for the girls. You might not have to buy too many since all the girls are quitting. Andrea last night, Annabel last week. Don't get me wrong. I am in love with your book club idea. I think maybe the girls need a bigger moral boost. Something by Dickens, Great Expectations. Little orphans are so cute. I don't think the book choice is the problem, I think we could all use some real fun, like a party, with actual boys. That's a wonderful idea. - Seriously? - Seriously, I love it. A great Gatsby theme party, but educational. As all parties should be. The roaring '20s, what a wonderfully rich historical period. The fashion and music and prohibition. Prohibition, like... No liquor? I'm sorry, this chapter is not ready for a party with alcohol. We have to find a place to host because of the rules. Prohibited co and sociolizing in the house. We must check the girls' GPA and their house points to see who can attend. Don't forget about the 11 o'clock curfew. We could have a dance instructor. I'm gonna e-mail Nationals and tell them all about it. They'll be so happy. So will the girls. Score one for the pledges. We're gonna have to get rid of your handicap, nice shot Bener. Glad you could make it. - I didn't know you were golfing today. - We discussed it at the last meeting. That's right, you weren't there. As our brother, you deserve our forgiveness, and our loving ridicule. Line it up. For Curses... You met my friend Calvin, I was wondering, if you'd consider taking him as one of our pledges, he dropped out of the Omega Chis. - He's smart, really good at sports. - You'd me at "dropped out of the OCs." Cultivating a new pledge, not to mention stealing one from our arsh enemies, - this is what brotherhood is all about. - I do what I can. - I'll get it - You're not sucking up, I'll get it. Which Law Order are you with? Can I have to issue you your citation? Open container of an alcoholic beverage. Again? There's nothing even here. Except of maybe the tiniest bit of foam. That's not gonna hold up on a court of law. Try to stay out of trouble. Give my love to dean Bowman. Here's your ball. At least, we're gonna have a party. I went to wilder parties in elementary school, I can't believe this, it's like I have no control anymore, my relationship with Evan span out of control, - I can't manage with Lizzi. - OK stop. Compromise is what comes with territory, - you're just being a good president. - I'm a terrible president. The idea is to keep girl from leaving, not drive them away. Frannie'd have found a way around this. Let's play "What would Frannie do?" Go with me girl. She'd make Lizzi cry. And? Tie her up and put her on a basement somewhere. I don't know. - The Kappa Taus have a basement. - Buffalo Bill, let's put a pin in that. Wait... - You have an idea? - Yeah. You just have got to be the #1 weapon on the fight for abstinence. I thought you enjoyed being ravaged by me in super places. It's like we're secret sex spies. I say we remove cars from our list of spy places. We're running out of places, library, aiport, - that church. - We'll be more creative for the future. You believe we have a future together. Hypothetically. In a world where there's no Casey, you're a one-woman men and people don't gossip. Miss Logan, I'm surprised you worry about such things. I don't. But maybe you do. You're not contradicting me. Which is why secret sex is so appealing right now. No complications. Get out. I have class and we can't be seen together. It'll blow our cover. Fine, but just for the record, you cannot be more wrong. Spies are supposed to be better liers. Enjoy your walk. Come by the house this afternoon. I'll show you around. I guess I could check it out. Normal fellows, right? From the beginning, you were stuck at OC because of your dad. - Now you're not stuck with those guys. - They're were not all bad. A cappucino for Evan. - How's it going? - Good... Just drinking coffee. We're gonna have a special meeting this week on you coming back. Just hang it tight. You guys are losing a great pledge. I don't think we're losing anybody. You have a history of letting great people get away from you. You know what? I've tried to be nice to you by not kicking your ass. Last semester, I've put up with the digs, with the insults out of respect for Casey. She and I are not together anymore. You do the maths. - He's just sticking up versus... - I can do maths. I'm good at it. I hear a lot of buzzing, but no actual words. That's what insects do. They buzz around, try to sting you. Be careful, insect! Some insects are quite deadly. Tse-tse fly can kill you. What? Just drinking coffee. To what do I owe this honor? - Is this a bad time? - No, I just really need to sit down. Much better... Do you see a clean towel over there? - Honestly... Not really. - Never mind. What's up? I wanna say thank you for what you did for us at the... - carnival. - I go where I'm needed. That's what makes me superhero. I know I haven't really been that super to you in the past. Are you in some kind of 12-step program, or something? Unless they started a one for idiots, who, stripted their lavaliere and are having a hard time getting over it. I can give you some pointers there. Not that I've had ex boyfriends. What I wanna say, Cap', is that I'm hoping you and I can... start over. Be friends. We've definitely tried the other thing, right? With a lot of fun, but not much success. Friend Cappie, at your service. Thank you. What don't you tell me what you really came here for? - Why do you assume... - Cause even though we're startin' over, we're not really. I know you. Fair enough. How would the kts like to party with the ZBZs? - What kind? - The biggest, baddest most rule-breaking party CRU will never see. When you put it like that. We're in. Good! Is you shirt on inside out and backwards? It's just... joggging. This is the common room. It looks like TV football, viewing party last night. You guys surely know how to have a good time. Welcome to our temple of good times and life-long brotherhood. Our casa es su casa. We're walkin'. You got any question so far? - What are your academic requirements? - Every active member must take one course per semester or you get us skip talking to. But I mean, you have to take four course just to be in the Greek system? I'll look into that. We're still walking. Here are our lovely gardens. Do you have any kind of mentorship program? The OC, they had a lot of connections. You know, CEO and like so. Last summer, bunch of the active did some paid internships. That's a good point. Jack Rabbit gives all the active and pledges 20% discount at his hut. - Is that what you meant? - Kind of. It's good. And here is the lovely recreation and relaxation room. Excuse me. This is Calvin. You're thinking about the pledging from the Omega Chi. Spitter and Quiter. Excellent. You're awesome. Thanks, I think. Hey Eth, you met my friend Calvin. I have. On more than one occasion. The mystery guy. That's cool. It's weird for me to picture but... completely cool. So, how've you been? Couldn't be better. So fellas, I have a little anouncement to make. Join me, in the basement, for a chapter meeting in five. All right, libations will be provided. - He can stay, right? - Well, can he keep a secret? Because, if you can't keep a secret. You should leave the room right now. - You all with me? - Can we see a little of the ZBZ swear? We're going to throw a party. A theme party based on the book The Great Gatsby. Which we all know is a big Lizzi favorite. There will be great costumes, fun music and a dance instructor that's gonna teach us dances from the 20. Did I just fell asleep with my eyes open? I haven't finished yet. That's just... - the upstairs party. - But downstairs, A once in a lifetime, down and dirty, secret, Prohibition party, in our old so humble ground. - A what party? - A prohibition party, a speakeasy. Here is how it's gonna work. Upstairs, there's gonna be the authority pleasing Great Gatsby party. Downstairs, will be a delightful, delicious, - Den of inequity. - You've heard of the 18th amendment? You know, alcohol was illegal in the 20s. Is that why they call it the Great Depression? This is absurd, Lizzi is never going to allow a speak-easy. - Lizzi's never going to know about it. - Where are we having this party? What respectable fraternity is ever going to agree to this risk. It's already arranged. We're doing it in the KT house. I still have aches from the last time we partied with them. Score baby. I can't believe Casey's endorsing a secret party. Those girls are super hot. Rebecca Logan is the hottest. Gentleman, please, come on. Let's respect the ladies and try to stay on point here. Who here is with me? It's gonna be awesome. We'll wear flapper dresses and garter belts. So we throw this dangerous party. What do we do if Lizzi finds out about the secret room? We could loose our social calendar. What? That's not acceptable. The only thing I've got on the calendar, is a group trip to the outlet mall in four weeks. What I should say is that we really got nothing to loose. What if it gets back to dean Bowman and the administration? - We could get seriously busted. - Then, I'll take the blame. I'll step down as president. Are you sure about that? I'm sure, because we're not going to get caught. Even if we don't get caught, it still the kts. They're like a dealest fraternity. And the front hall always smells like vomit. Excuse me. I know I was initialy sceptical but I think Casey's plan has real merit. I mean, think about it. Would you rather party with real flesh and blood kts, or read about some fake characters, in a tired, old dusty book about a bunch of crap that never happened. Who's with me? I am! Let's do it! OK then it's settled. Let's get started. We need a sound proof down here. Tom, Dave, you still have your disturbingly loud band? Disturbingly loud? Why wouldn't the band still be together? No reason. And one day, I'm sure you'll be hugely successful. Anyway, you guys need to isolate the room so no sound can make it upstairs. and then you'll have a room to practice, you'll become great big rock stars. Next, we need enough liquor to incapacitate David Hasselhoff so who's gonna go and hit the store with me? That was super honorable of you to say you'd step down. Yeah, right? What the hell was I thinking? You said it we're not gonna get caught. Hi! Lizzi, what happened? We were worried. I've been running around like a crazy person. Think you gave me the wrong address. There's no book store on 3rd. Oh my God! Did I say 3rd? I meant 13th. I feel terrible. No, it's alright! I found a store that gave me a 40% book discount. I'm so excited right now. Did you tell the girls? They loved the idea. I'm gonna go in a girls' room and freshen up and we've to start planning. ASAP cause I wanna be involved in every single detail. Partez! You're having a party? Sure you've got enough liquor there? You know, smuggling liquor for a party. It isn't just a violation for you, it's gonna reflect poorly on all of us. Then it's a good think we only got diet soft drinks, Evian. You gotta be kidding me. You got him working for you now? You with them? They're my friends, that's all. Actually, he's thinking 'bout pledging with us. Just realized the Kappa Taus are a whole lot more fun than the Omega Chis. Is that true? Just considering my options alright? Been a little tired of waiting for you, guys. You're not going to. Hope you guys got plenty of Cosmo to mix for the fairy. What you say? Don't mess up the party clothes. - Come on. - I don't even like Cosmo, bitch! Come on, go, that's great! I almost sweat him, man. Kappa Taus're like the gay fraternity on campus. Fit right in, good riddance. I want you to leave Omega Chi. Excuse me? I want you to pack up your crap and get the hell out. Because of him? It's time for Omega Chi to work harder on the quality of guys we bring in Calvin Owens has more potential than you'll ever have. And truthfully, Trend, I just don't have the time and the patience to teach you tolerance. I don't know who elected you, emperor of Omega Chi but you don't have the authority to kick me out, I'm not going anywhere. Actually you're about 3 months late on your dues which if your checked the house rules is due cause for exposure. I'll rally the brothers. - I'll call nationals if I have to. - Go ahead and call nationals. 'Cause if I told them half the crap you've been making my ears blead with, you're gonna be bounced anyway. I'm doing you a favor. Take the easy road out. You have until tomorrow. I actually think these restrictions from the dean are god-sent 'cause they force us to be so much creative. This is way better than some loud rowdy fraternity party. I agree. This was an inspired idea you did an absolutely lovely job pulling it together so quickly Jasmine, please keep your hands off your partner's buttocks! Some of the girls are getting restless Someone has to stay upstairs. Fine, you can take one couple downstairs but make sure you send people up to replace them. You look.... Are you having fun? Yeah, it's great but, aren't you freaking out, a little bit? You're president of the sorority now. - It's a pretty big decision. - Not at all. I did what I had to do and it's working just fine. Relax! I am! Can I borrow your lovely sister for a moment? - You really pulled it off - I couldn't have done without you. What now? I say if you can slip away, we see what the real party's like. Hopefully it's some more of your naughty little clappers. Dean Bowman? What a surprise! Come on in. You're here! I'm so glad! How can I refuse an invitation to a party of the infamous Kappa Taus. - Mind if I look around? - Not at all! Let me have your coat. You know what, Cappie... Cappie can take his coat. Who invited dean Bowman? Me. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to show him the concivilized and educational events ZBZ's gonna be hosting this semester. It's gonna buy us a little good-will. It's what good leaders do. We are so screwed. What are we going to do? This's a total nightmare. Don't panic, I'll figure something out. Wait! - I need to buy your expertise. - Plan B. Not yet, that's way too dressed Find out where the dean lives, get about 10 gallons of gas. Wait, where's dean... Bowman! I was looking for the punch. It's right over there. Do you want me to get you some? That's fine, I'm fully capable. Thank you. Then I'd like to get myself a tour of the house, if it's alright? Of course! I told the girls I'd step down as sorority's president if we got caught. - I have my stun gun upstairs. - You know what? I'll handle it. Make sure Bowman and Lizzi stay away from the basement door. - What you gonna do? - I'm gonna be a sorority's president. Ladies, we have an emergency. I need 8 quadro in formation Sisters, you're about to make urgent use of your rush rotation skills. We have an unexpected visitor in our mix namely dean Bowman. Our mission is to keep him occupied, failure is not an option. Are you with me? Good! Let's move out! Are you guys coming back? Incredible! And then what happened? - I graduated from highschool. - Highschool? That's facinating! - And, then what? - I went to college. So... so do you live around here? Dean Bowman, can I tell you what a privilege it is to have you at your party? What a great tie! So? Are you really thinking of joining the Kappa Taus? I haven't decided yet. What do you think about it? You see how much fun we can have. - I know you love strip clubs. - Boobs. You don't think it wouldn't be awkward though? - I mean, if we're dating other people. - Doesn't have to be. You should meet Greg, I really think you'd like him. Yeah, it'll be a little awkward. I don't want to change your mind or anything. I really miss hanging out with you. Me too. The ultimate secret sex spot. All these people around... Where should we start? Let's hold off on that for right now. We're on high alert. Who choose out this song? It's so good! You're monopolizing the dean's time. I'm sorry. Dean Bowman, this is Ashleigh Hawards, social chair at ZB, would you excuse me? I'm gonna go check on the refreshments. It's such a treat to have you here. So I guess you're also a big fan of the book? Which book? Oh The Great Gatsby! Yeah! Totally! It's one of my favorites. Mia Farrow is one of the great tragic characters in modern literature. - Awesome! - Better than watch movies alone, right? It's the Omega Chi dropout! We love you, man! You're beautiful! Good going man! Omega Chis suck! I'm starting to feel more like a trophee than prospective pledge. No, I want you here, 'cause you're a good friend. and all around, great guy. You'd be around other great guys. - As opposed to Evan? - As opposed to Evan. A jerk and Greek bro, and the rest of Omega Chi. I had a lot of good times there. It's gonna be a hard decision. I don't want it to be about you, or Evan or my dad. You know, I just gotta... do what feels right. Or you'd be picking Kappa Tau. Need a drink? I could use 'bout a million drinks, I've been running around all night. What do you want? Sparta hooch? Actually, I brought my own. Nice flask. Sorry, I crossed the line, I didn't mean to... Apology accepted. To a long and meaningful friendship. Right, friendship. I gotta go back upstairs. Find someone. Which is why I think in many ways, Ferris Bueller is my generation's Gatsby. So... do you think that Gatsby is really great or just a totally decent guy? Would you excuse me? I need to find a bathroom. I don't think you're heading in the right direction. Sure I am. I've seen a lot of people round here. Maybe you should use the one upstairs, it's much nicer. - There's pot pourri. - That won't be necessary. No, you can't go in there. - Why not? - A girl got sick. Not that she was drinking or anything. I think it was a bad trip fajitas. Yes? I'll be right there. Excuse me! What are you doing? Pretty naughty! What do you think about us going on a real date? I mean don't get me wrong, secret sex is awesome. Really awesome, but I think that you and I actually dating awesom... er. On that thought. We have a situation up here. What sort of situation? I'm kinda busy in here. Code red. I'll be right back. Someone drop the dime, called the coppers. Someone on the Greek task force phoned Bowman to say, claiming there's booze. - Come on. - Chambers. Execute plan B. - But there's not time. - I wouldn't be so sure There's always time for plan B. You fellas and spread out. Hey, boys! Care to join me for a drink? What the hell are you doing? Taking your cruise out on the open road, see if I can hit a few miles an hour. You wanna join me, I'd love to have company! Let him go, we always know where to find him. - Not with my squad car. - This thing is kinda peppy. You got a turbo on this thing? You fellas spread out. What's going on? I have no idea. I want you guys to check down here. I've noticed a lot of foot traffic down these stairs tonight. Foot traffic? There's been no foot traffic. Let's go. "Involuntarily, I glanced seaward. "and distingued nothing, "except the single green light. "Minute, "ran my nute." Probably "my nute". "My nute, "and far away "that might have been the end of the dock. "When I looked once more for Gatsby, "he had vanished "and I was alone again, "in the unquiet darkness." What the hell is this? It's like a... a literacy thing. A literacy thing? Yes, many of these poor boys have trouble reading. Nice work, Beaver. I can read. You're doing a great job. The ZBZ sisters have been helping them learn a little. Secret philantropy, if you will. They're a bit embarassed about their deficiency. So we give them a safe place to practice. That was the best party ever. Girls! I'm ashamed of you, all of you. And you, most of all. I'm sorry. We snap. We don't clap. And Casey Cartwright, you have earned yourself a grand round of snaps, right, girls? This was truly a magical evening. You see how much fun you can have when you play by the rules and help other. Come here. I can't remember the last time I stayed up past 11. - Good night! - Good night. I had an amazing evening. Thanks, big sis. OK, was Rebecca just being nice to you? I'm too tired to worry about that now OK, that was the most stressful, exhausting evening of my entire life. We pulled it off. And it's been almost a full 48h since I last thought about Evan. And tomorrow you'll think about him even less, And the next day even less. And eventually, it'll just be "What's his name". I hope so. I wish you were a boy and we could be together forever. That's weird. Why do I have to be the boy? 'Cause you're taller! We want you to come back. Look, Evan, I thought a lot about it. Right, I just, with Trend... Don't worry about Trend, he decided to deactivate. That's convenient. What about the other guys? There's always gonna be guys that don't like you. Not everyone likes me. That's true. Thanks. I think you can't let the way people feel about you determine how you live your life. You're my little brother. I garantee you I got your back. So trust me. And take this back. At least think about it. What you doing now? I'm heading to the house to celebrate Cappie's release from CRU jail. I'm not gonna be able to make it. More movies? Actually, no. I'm going back to Omega Chi. Are you kidding? I belong there. You can't run away 'cause things aren't perfect So Evan wins? I thought you said it wasn't a competition. Are you forgetting? It's the same Evan Chamber who fought me at Dopplers who humiliated my sister at the carnival. I don't know what you want me to say. Alright? There're 2 sides to every story, Evan can be a real decent guy. Are you saying Casey deserved what he did to her? I'm not. You're perfectly justified to hate him. I'm saying he's really gone back for me. He's always been a good friend to me. That's funny 'cause I thought I was your friend. Look, our friendship has always been outside the Greek system. You always said, you're not gonna let our houses get in the way of us being friends. So let's not lose that. I see you later. Hey heavy Poo! You're here to give the dean his morning foot massage. You know, I don't think I've ever seen you in the sunlight before noon. You're getting troubles with the law again? 100 hours of community service. I consider myself lucky though. Could have been a lot worst, I was the only one who got busted. And by the way, you're a total dushbag. Why's that? Because you raided out our party. I knew it was someone on the Greek task force You're the only one I know with personal vendetta. Still, pretty low. even for you. Now you'll think twice before trying to pouch one of your pledges. He came to us. I don't know why I'm bothering explaining myself to you. Take care. Bing. - What did you call me? - You heard. Just to let you know, there will be retribution. Bring it. Shaolin is the birthplace of martial arts. The ancient ShaoIin Kung Fu is said to be the origin of various fighting styles. Even today, the tradition is alive at Shaolin where many young people train day and night. SHAOLIN SCHOOL OF MARTIAL ARTS Your 3000-day training ends today. Thank you. What will you do when you go home? I'II become a cabin attendant. I want to be an actress. What about you, Rin? I will spread ShaoIin Kung Fu in Japan. You must train yourself even after you leave Shaolin. Yes, Teacher! Thank you for everything. She has mastered seIf-controI, but her dormant power is formidable. people who cannot control their power are eventually destroyed by it. We cannot do anything, even if she succumbs to the Dark Side. Kou Shibasaki Toru Nakamura Kitty Zhang Tin Kai Man Lam Tze Chung Takashi Okamura Yosuke Eguchi It's still here. It's Rin. Rin Sakurazawa. Hurry! Hurry up! What are you doing? You guys have aptitude. Want to learn ShaoIin Kung Fu? "Kung Fu"? You're strong, you have potential. You don't. What are you talking about? Come with me to the dojo. Ew! She's crazy. Crazy, crazy! I'II teach you ShaoIin Kung Fu... Wait for me... please! Run! Run! Let's do Kung Fu! hello. Hey, wait! What...? I'm back. Grandpa... Is everything alright? Yes. What a mess. I am sorry. THE DARK SIDE OF SIU We won 15 to 5. Wow! Who was the hitter? Me, me! You... It's been a Iong time! What happened with the dojo? It closed a Iong time ago. I'm just kidding Everyone, look who's here! Aren't you... Rin! It's been ages! We've selected promising students, and assigned them to the lacrosse and beach volleyball teams. In order to promote such disciplines, we plan to produce comics and novels. We're working on sports entertainment and documentary film programs. We've set up a dedicated Internet server, and will soon launch a blog. This chart shows the expected investment results. Enough about investments. Is this marketable or not? There are two things worth investing in. Power and beauty. The days of investment in power are numbered. This leaves beauty. sell beauty. The meeting's over. The old Ms. Isezaki asked... Oh, he's gone. Why did the dojo close? I don't really know. It was very sudden. But I had a premonition, you know. But if everyone else had no idea, it must've been a shock for them. However I... I've checked on the author of the article. Remember me? I'm Rin Sakurazawa. Rin Sakurazawa! Rin! Look at you! And the other students? Haven't seen them since the dojo closed. Watch it! We've grown up. It must be hard for you. Look what happened to Iwai. Stay in touch. Where do you want this? Over there. hello. Ni Hao. Fried rice please. It's a busy day! Better than playing soccer. You're right. Teacher! Teacher? What teacher? Teacher! I know you're here. You can't go in there. Fried rice! The soup's coming! It's Rin! Welcome back! Teacher! Teacher, the dojo? Did you go? It's in ruins. What happened? You must be starving! Teacher! I'm not your teacher anymore. I gave up the shaolin Kung Fu. But... What about the dojo? It's a waste of time. What're you saying? Rin, stay here for a while. I'II cook you some good food. My place is at the dojo. Good bye. Who was that? What a rude girl? Didn't even apologize. Where's my fried rice? This? Got it! Where is it? Who's there? Good morning. You ate my breakfast. It wasn't me. Why? Don't try to escape. Where's Minmin? I don't know. Yummy! You do this every morning? Yes. Grandpa taught me. He lives in China? He's a farmer. He raised me. I want to graduate, find a good job, and repay my Grandpa. Hey. Kick me. Come on. With all your might. Are you OK? Your posture is good. You can learn ShaoIin Kung Fu. Why ShaoIin Kung Fu? I want to spread the art of Shaolin. It was my Grandpa's dream. OK... I can try. really? If you try Iacrosse. Alright! Yeah! Come! Wait! What's lacrosse? The future is veiled in darkness. Reach out to it without fear, and you will see light. Do not stop. Do not hesitate. Accept the challenge. The possibilities are infinite. Set your inner power free! Get it all! I am Yuichiro Ooba, President of Seikan international University. I'm speaking to all our present and future students. Our university will support your... This is your pass. Where are we going? Let's go! Wait! Come! Good morning. Minmin, you're late. Who's this? This is Rin. Rin Sakurazawa. I'm here to observe your practice. Grade? An SIU student? Ever played lacrosse? I will play lacrosse. So you'll learn Shaolin Kung Fu. "ShaoIin Kung Fu"? What is it? It's a martial art. This is weird. What's "a martial art"? Like kendo? Or karate? I've heard about ShaoIin, but... I think it's geeky. It's not! What do you wear? I hate ugly uniforms. Is it practiced outside? Even the UV creams don't help anymore. I bought a good moisturizer. Show us! I miss the track team. And I miss the basketball team. We have no time for other sports. Lacrosse is hard enough. Forget it. Why ShaoIin Kung Fu all of a sudden? Are you at all interested in lacrosse? Showing up late, and all. Bringing your weird friends. You're a bit strange yourself. "My name Minmin." Can you play lacrosse? You use this? It's for throwing the ball. This is no good. You must control the ball. Shoot at the goal. Oh, OK. It's quite difficult. I can't take this anymore. Hey! help! I need help! Hey! please, help me! What am I to do? Task Force 7 needs more students adept in martial arts. select a few students. Request payment by wire. And the other request? We've dispatched 3 students. Payment is complete. That is all. Thank you. The meeting's over. Send the car. Any new transfers recently? Just a moment. No, not a single one. The police identified the body of reporter Takeshi Kurosaki, age 35. His investigative reports unveiled a series of university scandals. The cause of death is unknown, but foul play isn't ruled out. That was close! Did you hit these? I think so. You broke the dolphin. Who's that? From the Administration. And who are you? Haven't seen you around. This is Rin. Department? I'm not a student. So you can't join the team. Ryuji, Iet her apply. If you can hit that strong, you should apply. Alright! I'm soaked! Right down to the underwear. This way. It's quite easy to apply. What's that? A special training facility. It's a restricted area. Did I have spare clothes? I'm back. Rin will play lacrosse! But she's not a student. It's impossible. She applied for permission. Can we order now? please. Rin will be fine! She'II play lacrosse. hello! It's not working because you're bending your elbow. Rin, show us. Let your force flow forward. Teacher. Manager. Minmin. Raw power won't do it. blend the power of the ball into your power, Iet them flow! Wow! Saw that? Why are you here? It's quite an interesting sport. Hey, Minmin. relax! With me, you don't have to practice martial arts. Now I want to play! Who's he? Does it matter? How's my lipstick? Perfect! Let him apply for the coach post. Right. girls, this is your new coach. Iwai. Nice to meet you. Welcome to the team! Where do we start? It's training time! Training time! Bon appetit! Where's Iwai? I don't know. Me neither. I see. What's going on? You gave up ShaoIin Kung Fu, and for what? To cook Chinese food. I didn't come back even when Grandpa died. I trained hard. Was it all in vain? What's so great about ShaoIin Kung Fu? What can you do? I don't... You can break logs? You're strong. It's just more violence. Found it. Good. Who's there? Rin. What are you doing? You'II teach me Shaolin Kung Fu, right? But the Teacher said I shouldn't. Teach me secretly. Training for the lower body builds strength and agility. The arms extend from the shoulder blades. The force generated there ejects your fist like a bullet. A vertical axis extends through your body. The basic principle is to be aware of it. feel the axis, relax and with smooth, flowing movements take a fighting stance. Then... One more time. Stand still. Keep the axis straight and the body flowing. This is the most difficult and important exercise. Since when have you... Since forever. I have a question. What? Why do you Iike wushu? I've always loved it. It's never been a burden. shaolin Kung Fu makes people happy. But Shaolin Kung Fu is a fighting art. You're wrong. It's the art of protection. It's difficult. That's why I need to know. My mission is to spread the art of Shaolin. Here? Yes, here. This is my home. Everything starts here. Home? Yes, a home. A place to return to. "I'm home." Yes, "I'm home." Welcome home. Two days ago we got a transfer request. A graduate of the shaolin school of martial Arts. currently a member of the lacrosse team. The team requested permission to join the league. apparently they have a new coach. The beach volley team requests permission for an overseas tour. Destination: Australia. First kneel down. Hold the stick at an angle of 45to your body. Then, with one smooth movement... Don't rely just on force. flow like water. Rin, this is fun! These are the basics of Shaolin Kung Fu. Come for a sec. What? Standing Zen! Don't do anything. Alright! The arms extend from the shoulder blades. The force ejects the ball like a bullet. The lower body is also important. Its muscles control the speed. This is Kung Fu. Alright, Minmin. Give it a try. OK. Wow. The new coach changed the team. We've really gotten better. Everyone will get a turn. Alright. Get in line. Good, good! Very well! Stop complaining. We must train hard to win the practice match. Right? One last round! OK. Who's that? The University President. Let's go. Look at them! Nice. A good match! Good job, chief! I'm no chief. I said, I'm no... So cute. Yeah. Do I have to wear this? I can't play in it. It looks good on you. You look cute. What about me? You look pretty. The high socks are nice. My legs look fat in these. Nah, you're so slim. Enough already. Gather up! Stay focused! Rin, you stay here! Why? You'II drag them down. How do you know that? Her shooting's awesome! We'II lose. I said no! Alright, huddle! Huh? Rin is benched. They look good. Cute uniforms. Good job, chief! I'm no chief. The practice match between SIU and Ouka College begins! Thank you. Minmin! Go! Formation D. Guard the goal! They're coming! Goalie! Ouch! Nice! One more! It isn't over. Cheer up! Ayasa! Mami! Mami, fight! Watch out! Mami! Shoot! They're surprisingly good. They move well. Nice move, chief! I told you I ain't no chief! Halftime. Thank you. Asami! Are you OK? Everything OK? Let me play. You'II ruin the good team. Nonsense. I can play. Captain, I'm going in! Alright! Let's do our best! We can win. Rin is going in. Nice, nice! Rin is good! Good job, chief. You're doing it on purpose. Rin! What's that? Kana! Ouch! Rin! Pass! Why? I got it. What? Wait! Aina, are you OK? Are you OK? Rin! Rin! Pass! There's no teamwork. Good, good! Good job, chief! Rin! Rin, over here! OK! Well done! Are you OK? These things happen. We'II work harder next time. Cheer up! It's just a practice match. We'II get better in time for the tournament! You still don't get it, do you? Your passes were too fast. You totally ignored us. It's not your game. We all worked so hard! We aren't like you. The truth is we suck. That's not the point. Rin, you don't trust us. You don't pass the ball. I got hurt because of you. Are you alright? Hurting your own teammates! It hurts! Are you OK? There was no teamwork. I never meant to... You drag them down. You can't play in a team. There's no team play in Kung Fu. But you're teaching them Kung Fu. No! I'm teaching them the spirit of Kung Fu. You know only the form. This can't be true. Mr. Iwai is...right. I don't understand teamwork. But... please forgive me. Let's go! Yes! Be careful. Slowly, slowly. Minmin, watch it! Ayasa, pass! Mami, get it! Nana, pass, pass! Mayu, pass! What is Kung Fu all about? Pass! Pass! Come here. Why did you go alone? Why didn't you pass? But I... Don't "but" me! playing the game is a team responsibility. Responsibility? Well, I definitely see how something could have slipped out of there. Absolutely. That would have fallen right out in the middle of the bed. What about Charlie's hole? Just get into the bed, please, and show us how you sleep, guys. Well, right off the bat, I think there's a clear solution could have prevented this entire thing. You guys need to get two beds. Oh, maybe I'll get two TVs and two refrigerators. What are you talking about? Do we come to your house and tell you how to sleep? I sleep in a king-sized bed by myself. When I have to go to the bathroom, I use a toilet. Look at... He... Dennis on his bed made for kings with his toilet made out of gold. Okay, guys, everybody calm down, please. This is not about lifestyle. This is not about judgments. This is about truth, okay? Now, Charlie and Frank, show us how you were positioned the night of the incident. Excuse me. Incidents. All right, well, I'm pretty sure I was sleeping like this that night. It's just, like, no way it could have been me. Charlie, we sleep ass to ass, you know that. Oh, great. Okay, clearly, we're having a problem with honesty here. Dennis, a word. I hate to say it, bro, but I think we're gonna have to do an overnight observation. Yeah, well, to be honest with you, I wouldn't mind seeing how this whole situation really works. Fascinating. Well, this just gets weirder and weirder, man. Anything? Nothing. False alarm. Damn it, dude, we can't keep doing this all night. Oh, I know. You know what. Why don't we sleep in shifts? Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying this isn't important work - but I can't keep my eyes open. - No, I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. All right, I'll tell you what. You go ahead and go first. I still got a little energy left. I don't know about this floor, Dennis. It's covered in sand or something. No. It smells like some kind of spice blend or pesticide, or some other kind of sandy poison or something. I don't know. I wouldn't sleep on the floor, though. - You got to sleep with them? - You got to, you got to. You sure you're all right? - Yeah, I'm fine. I got it. - You sure? Okay, I'm just gonna sleep for, like, 15 minutes, right? And then you wake me up, and then we'll switch it off. - You good? - I'm fine. My God. My God! If we're going to be meeting sophisticated men, we need to start acting with class. We cannot be telling people that we have bleached assholes. He was gonna find out anyway. Oh, my God. And you, you shouldn't be drinking in a shoe store. You shouldn't be drinking in a shoe store. What is the matter with you? I told you to pace yourself. I have a drinking problem. Well, then, you should know how to hold your booze a little better. I'll hold your boobs a little better. Oh, good one. Ladies, can I help you? Hello. We are here for the Manolos. - And what's your shoe size? - 13. We don't carry shoes that large. Perhaps you'd like to try the Big and Tall store down the street? You know what? I don't like this bitch's attitude. Did she just try and break a bottle over my head? No, of course she didn't. Girls, I'll meet you outside. Get her. Okay. Just the littlest bit snug, aren't they? There we go. Cute, though, huh? How much? - 700. - 700? Yes, well, I'll tell you what. You pay for quality 'cause there's so much crap out there these days. Man, I am excited to bust my dogs out in these tonight. We're going to a French restaurant... Le Bistro. It's five stars, so... I don't know if you've been to it. That sounds great, but this has been declined. Declined? You're kidding me! Oh! Makes me so mad. Like, the credit card companies... the way they waste your time. Probably protecting me. I spent a lot of money today. Try that one. Excuse me. Oh, God. Did it not go through? What motive could a man possibly have for pooping where he sleeps? - I love that bed. - Don't buy this act. Frank, I will jam that poop right back up your ass where it came from. You know in that bed... Guys, guys, guys, clearly, we're exhausted and full of emotion, but we should not be threatening each other with jamming feces into each other's assholes, okay? Wait a minute. Wait, wait. Hold on a second. What if we had them produce another sample, and we cross-reference the samples? They'd have to do it in front of us so that there's no foul play. I can't go now. Really? I could probably squeeze something out. I'll get some newspaper. This is exciting. This is very exciting. Why, of all places, are we here? Because it's your bar, and we're gonna drink for free. Well, damn it, waitress, that is not what I wanted. How? How do you still not know what my name is? ! Oh, I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be expected to rember everyone's name at all moments of the day. This is the opposite of where we're supposed to be. Oh, Dee, we were just on the verge of a major breakthrough. He was turtle-heading. Turtle-heading! No, there was no turtles anywhere. Were you just pooping on the floor? No, I was not. That was an endurance contest, which I won, by the way... - You're paying for that. - She doesn't have to pay for that. - Yes, she does. - Bite me, asshole. You have a bad attitude when you're drinking. You have a bad attitude when you're drinking, you huge-footed slut. You know what? I'm just gonna go get more wasted, and then I'm gonna bang some rim, dude. Really? Could it be this guy? No, it can't, but it could be Dennis. Pass. Whatever. You know what? I'm gonna take this. I'm gonna take this, and I'll see you assholes later. - That is my notebook. - Free coffee for a year. Wait a second. Where did she get my note? - You know what? I have backups. - What is with her? Something about drinking. She just won't stop talking about it. - What, the plates of shit? - Somebody pooped the bed. Whatever. Let's get out of here. We could use a fresh set of eyes on this if you don't mind. No, thank you. I think that Artemis and I have much better things to do, thank you. Actually, I'm just gonna stick around. Excuse me? - You know. - Are you kidding me? You know what? Forget it, okay? I'm gonna do this by myself. I'm gonna go find some classy, sophisticated people who can hold their booze, who don't talk about their bleached assholes, and who aren't obsessed with poop. Okay, bring me up to speed here, boys. This is an interesting piece. I love his use of space. The space... that's what I loved about it. What do you think the chunky earth tones represent? Look at the rich texture, the dimensions. It's almost as if you can smell it. Oh, God... This is the piece I was telling you about. It's unbelievable... and so raw, so base, so utterly human. It's almost as if it exploded out of the artist. Well... I think it's crap. Crap... Crap... Crap... Crap... You know what? Guys, let's just wrap up the evidence and start again fresh tomorrow. You think they'll keep, or should we put them in the fridge? They'll keep fine. You know what? You guys win, all right? Are you happy? Win what? Heart failure! Check the circuit breaker. Nobody move! Everyone here's a suspect. Put on another pot of coffee. It's gonna be a long night. Four turds, five suspects, so many, many nameless victims. The first poop was obviously Frank. Old and weak, he had an accident, that's why he was so intent on destroying it. There were many turds before this one, weren't there, Frank? This was just the first time you got caught, wasn't it? And then you went and did it again the next night? Or did you? Two poops in two nights? Tall order for such a short man. No. The second poop belonged to Charles. He wanted to get back at Frank, but due to his poor diet, couldn't produce a turd. So he called Mac, who jumped at the chance to see Frank humiliated one more time. But Charlie overlooked the fact that Dennis listens to Mac's phone calls and he heard every word. Dennis was jealous that Charlie had chosen Mac to help instead of him. He swore to have his revenge. That's why encouraged Mac to sleep while he stayed up. He was going to put the frame on Mac by pooping next to him. But he didn't realize that a futon slept on by the weight of three men would be off its axis and slope to the center. And like a small brown snail... it crept to the middle between Charlie and Frank. Deandra! You wanted in on this poop war from the start. No, I didn't. The outcast? The slut? The bitch. The whore. The lonely, sad, slutty, bitchy whore. You sat on the sidelines while these four titans battled it out. You were jealous that a few pieces of poop got more attention than you. That's why when the lights went out, you unleashed some thunder of you own. Thunder of the... chocolate variety. Oh, well, that would be fine and dandy... if any of it were true. Can we wrap this up at some point? In due time, pretty face. In due time. Isn't it true you thought you'd been pooping the bed for months now? You chalked it up to your old plumbing and penchant for spicy foods. Morning after morning, you'd bury your poop after you rose to hide it from Charlie. But... convinced that Charlie had discovered his dirty little secret, Frank pooped the bed again the next night as revenge, only a lot more came out than he expected. He had gone too far. I've gone too far. Due to the size and severity of the poop, Frank concluded that Charlie had been pooping the bed all along. And so he cleaned up the mess and wandered the streets, looking for someone who could replicate Charlie's small and malnourished turd. And that's where he came upon his old friend, Rickety Cricket. Get up! Known the world over for his ability to replicate any man's stool, Cricket came back and committed fecal forgery. Which leads us to the third turd. Dennis and Mac thought it'd be funny to put the frame on Frank and Charlie, and so they both pooped. But, as so often happens, the poop rolled together and two became one. A turd merger... fused together by fear and hatred... and hair. But on to the final poop! A poop that can be traced back to Dee! But not to her butt. The waitress, drunk out of her mind and furious that Dee had pushed her back into the arms of the bottle, pooped in Dee's purse while Dee's back was turned. And Dee carried it unknowingly until she arrived here and the lights went out and she was startled, knocking her purse to the floor, causing the turd to tumble where it stands before us, right now. So, as you can see, the mystery of who pooped the bed has been solved. And yes my friends, in a way, you're all guilty. I did it. - What? - I did 'em all. I did all the poops. - Really? - Yeah, I did everyone of them. I even did one, while she was rappin us, right here. - Dude! - Jesus! God! Why would you do that, dude? Because poop is funny. I guess poop is very funny. - Poop is funny. - He pooped on the floor. You know what, well-played my man! Well-played! I hate my life. Seriously dude, don't ever poop in our bed again. How is it on the rooftop? Door is locked. Hostage situation. Michael, do I wait for you? Don't wait, I'll tell dad! Just $20, 000 in such a high-class restaurant? Well, it's high-class, so we use cards. Where's the safe? Open it! Why would I have the key? Should I call the boss for you? Don't piss me off, I've a gun. I just got dumped. Let me remind you, there are CCTV cameras. Cover your face. The price tag is still on your toy gun. Don't come over! Don't come over! ... Lucky. My money! You're under arrest. What underwear? You're officially under arrest. I'm Inspector Mak Ho-Man, Michael Mak. Shit! Shit? Shit? ! ... Congrats! Solved another big case! More like a ridiculous case... Money means nothing to these rich playboys. Michael! You did it again! Where should we celebrate? I've reserved a table at a good toro Japanese restaurant. Expensive but I know you won't mind. I'm not going. You guys go ahead. Why? Just pass me the bill. Okay! Sir Wong is looking for you. What's wrong with you? You used my money to solve a kidnap case. You saved the guy but my money is gone. Now my money is strewn all over the streets. Isn't that too much? Capturing the baddies at all cost. Bro, you think I'm the richest man in HK? I'm not your bro, Mr. Mak. I'm your son. Are there other cops like you? Using money to work? You're too busy to spend your money. Treat it as a good cause. You think I'm a charity? Fine... You only call when I spend your money. Meet and scold me in person. Isn't that more satisfying? I'm always free to meet you. I never wanted you to be a cop. I warn you, I'll freeze your account. Excuse me... Where's the resource room? You can't buy style. Shit! We've the same tie! I asked for resource room, not fashion advice. No resource room, evidence room is ahead. Thank you. Mr. Lin? Come in. Mr. Lin, your brother and his girlfriend were killed at the beach car park on Sept 3. We suspect they fought back and were killed. We found a metal ruler at the crime scene. We matched the prints on the ruler to a Lo Keung We shouldn't show you these but you were once a brilliant cop in China. We hope... you understand. You can provide us more info and facts, then we can solve this case. I remember he has a diamond watch and a belt, a wallet with a photo of us. Well done! The whole HK knows. I've never seen so many letters of praise but there're just as many complain letters. They're all yours! Tell me. Why all this for a small robber? You caused major road chaos in Central. So who is going to back you up next time? Sir, a small robber is still a robber. We shouldn't discount them. Also, there were hostages to protect. Who do you think you are? Superhero? No one likes you in the whole station! I don't care, I just want to do my job. I don't care. This is the police. We've rules to follow. If not for your father asking his friends to call the Chief, you'd have been fired. Get lost and be your rich playboy! Get out! Out of my sight! Sorry I'm late. It's okay. Are you done? Against the wall! I've to search you! Don't go too far! Why? I suspect you're an illegal immigrant! You're Lisa's boyfriend? I meant ex-boyfriend, Michael? Michael! You've suspended? Why are you here? Let go! Do I need to escort you out personally? How are you, David? Mr. Lin, welcome back. Just give me the keys, I'll follow. Thanks. Anything else you need, Mr. Lin? You're great. No wonder my brother praised you. Thanks. Goodbye. Lisa, is there a Lo Keung amongst my brother's friends? No, why do you ask? Just wondering. You suspect a friend killed him? It doesn't seem like a robbery. I'm not convinced. My brother values his life. Why would he fight back for that bit of money? Regardless it is a robbery or murder, I want to find the guy who did it. Sawadee Club Mr. Lin, this way please. Enjoy your dinner here. All these for the two of us? All your brother's favourites. David, simple meals will do next time. Don't waste food. Yes. Hi! Lincoln. Remember me? This is Roger and Mr. Law. Hi! We met before. Your brother introduced us last time. I must have been drunk and left early. Pity your brother has passed away. We missed him. Our condolences. Thank you! We're having boating party next week. You brother will never miss it. You must join us. Let's have fun, okay? I'll check my schedule and see. Alright. See you. I'll see you out, Mr. Law. Why bother? You're so tall. Get lost! So sorry. Goodbye. David, sit and eat with us. I've to work. Thanks. Thank God having David here. I'll never know how to deal with those members. Like it? We can change it till you like it. Can you stop spending money to me this way? When you did something wrong, sent me gift. Now you buy me a car. So what? I'm not that greedy. You know how bad that makes me feel? What? Aren't I nice to you? You just walked out on me. Why did we've to split up? You really want to know? Tell me. You're ill-tempered, stubborn, give me no sense of security... Ok, cut it out. You're not my cup of tea, ok? Then imagine me to be coffee. Milk tea, tea and coffee mix, anything. Michael, let's just be friends. It's all my fault, ok? Lisa, is everything ok? This is your tea. It's only Chinese tea! Chinese tea is still tea. There're great Chinese tea! Mr. Lin, do I need to call security? No need, David. Mr. Mak... Shut up! I'm a member here. Of course you are. Otherwise, our security would be here. Fight with me if you've balls. I can't stop you guys, just be careful. Help yourselves. Other women love your money. Only Lisa loves you, right? I can't watch this. Please look after them. Bye. There's a Lo Keung looking for Mr. Lin. Pass it to me. I'm sorry, Mr. Lin. Mr. Lo Keung called. He has something important to tell you. His number and address are here. Can you swim? Bye. Thanks. Goodbye. Why? Are you scared? Excuse me, Mr. Mak. You want to wear your jacket now or after you dry yourself? Where did he go? You want to wear it now or later? Go to hell! Sir, be careful. Slippery floors. Mr. Lin, I'm Lo Keung. Why is this with you? I found it at the crime scene. I saw who killed your brother. Tell me then. I never pay for information. Tell me now. It's your citizen duty. Or I'll bring you to the police. Cut your crap! How to escape with no money? Petty jerk! Tell me now! Ok. I'll talk... Stop! ... Tell me! Help me! Come! ... Will you talk now? I'll talk... Around 3am, I was going to steal a car. I saw a couple walking to the car, I guess it was your brother. When he opened the door, 4 men attacked him. No... Shut up! Help! ... Saw your bro's name card and I saw a deal. The person who killed your bro has a tattoo. It's a scorpion. Take it. Thought you've principles? Why pay me? For your medical bills. Thanks Mr. Lin. I'd waited for you whole night. Our fight is not over. You still want to fight? I'm not in the mood. Then I win. Since I defeated you I'll help with your bro's case. I'm the best cop around. Even when suspended? Suspended, not resigned. I've the highest record for cases solved. Widest network of informers. I know. Using money. Can you not shoot me down? I'll find the killer very soon. How soon? I give you 3 weeks. I don't need 3 weeks. Once done, you go back home quickly. To your place of origin. Why my place of origin? Somewhere else ok? Up to you, just be 500m away from Lisa. Michael, I know what you're thinking. You want me to stay away from Lisa cos you are not confident. Good morning Mr. Lin. Morning. Breakfast is ready. Thanks David. It's my duty. Good morning Mr. Mak. You didn't drown? No, thanks for your concern. You're such a dog. Really? It's my duty. Go to hell! Goodbye. You don't like him? I don't like you too. Just 3 weeks. After breakfast, I'll change and set off. Going home to nap. Call me later. I don't like to sleep. What if you fall asleep during investigation? Wake me up. Hey! What? Driving 2 cars is a waste? Expect me to sit in your car? Are you kidding? Great, I've a free chauffeur. Bro Michael! Pre-empt. Welcome, the God of Wealth! See this, the widest network of informers. I'd come too for the money. Monkey. Scorpion King? Police! Stop! Run or I'll shoot! Where's the tattoo? I don't have. No scorpion tattoo? I don't, Inspector. Then why call yourself Scorpion King? My nickname is Scorpion, last name King. So they call me Scorpion King. Stupid name! Stop... You act like a gangster. You just have money. Let's go. Change your name! What's this? Lok Lok. What's Lok? Name of the panda at Ocean Park. Get lost! Look, isn't it a scorpion? No, it's a lobster. Scram! Lobster. You really don't need to sleep? What a nice weather! I don't get it. What does Lisa see in you? Same as Lisa says about you. Why a shoe here? Made in HK. Don't come over! Or I'll jump! I'll jump! Daddy... Hubby, come down. Sir Mak. What happened? Someone wants to jump. Come closer and I'll jump. Think about it. If you jump, your family will be so sad. Get it? None of your business. You're scolding an officer? What's this? Litter? Tell me. What happened? My business failed, I owe loan sharks money. Brother... Please help my dad. Take this and ask your dad to come down. Daddy... it's ok now. I'll help you. Be careful. Man attempting suicide is safe. Situation under control, cancel back up. You don't agree with what I did, right? Different principles. Did I say anything? You didn't say but I can tell. Good to live. Look at this family. Filial child and a caring father. Perfect! You're sick! Come through this. It's too late when your loved ones are gone. Leave dad a message, press 1. Ask for money, press 2. Make an appointment, press 0. You go ahead, toilet break. Michael? You haven't called for a long time. Where's dad? He's not home. Nothing then. Michael. Come home for dinner when you're free. Have fun in the toilet. I can't bear it anymore. So sleepy. Don't you see this city is beautiful? If you sleep, what can you see? Bro, we need to get some sleep. Right, let's rest and consolidate. That's what I want to hear all day. Call you when I wake up. Bye. What are you up to? Where are you going? Dinner with Lisa. What? I'm a bit hungry too. I can sleep after dinner. You won't go, we're eating at street stalls. Bullshit! Who says so? I go there often, let's go. Really? More beer! Coming! No big deal, I eat this often. Isn't it better at my home? Why do this comrade like our HK street stalls? Cos Lisa likes it. Why didn't you tell me so? Why you never ask? Why do you always talk to me like this? Bad temper. Yes... I'm bad-tempered, lots of faults. But my plus point, likes the famous jockey, Silent Witness, I never give up. Lisa... Marry me? He's said it. Don't you have anything to say? Why you ask him? I'm asking you, he's not your dad. I'm asking you. Why look away? Why do you bother? He came between us when we'd problems. Lisa... Lisa, aren't I good to you? Exactly, aren't I good to you? It has been 3 years, don't you like me? What're you saying? You knew him before me? Why didn't you tell me? Then why go after her now? That makes me the third party. The air is great here. I can smell the grass and flowers, Nice smell... Trying to sound poetic. I like him this way. What? I can change if you like that. How? I've been observing him. He expects nothing back for his money. A direct and righteous man. Bad-tempered but has a good heart. The world needs people like him. Don't change. I've never heard anyone praise him. Bad-tempered but a good heart. Police, stay! Told you to stay! My father may have Alzheimer's now. He was awesome in South Asia 30 years ago. You playing me? I can't find the guy. I give you 2 days to find him. Or you are dead. That's it. What's wrong with you? You've never listened. Go to the toilet. You too? What the hell? What? Look, numskull! You hit a cop? How dare you are? It's a tiger head. Should have said so. Forget it. Let's go... Hey, who are you looking for? Someone with a scorpion tattoo. Scorpion Yong? I know where he is. Let me go. Wasn't that an intense toilet experience? Intense? Come later and I could have died. Well, you're the one who needed the toilet. I asked you to come along. I didn't get your invitation card. Damn it. If I'd a gun, I'd have blown his head off. Pity, you've been suspended. I'll get a gun tomorrow. Is that easy to buy one in HK? A toy gun would do, baby. This is it. Chinese Tea. You can go home when we are done. Sure. Take care of Lisa. I know you'll take good care of her. Scorpion Yong. You want trouble, I'll give you trouble. Revenge? Lucky I heard about it... Fight me! Try fighting with my gun! Fight now? Michael, wait. Be careful... Did you kill my brother Lin Long? Lin Long? I killed many in my fights. But we'd signed fight contracts. Which clan are you from? We are the police! Whatever, please put down your gun. I'm afraid of guns. I beg you. Tell me... Where were you on Sept 3? Sept 3? I've been touring in China for the Asian Fight. I just got back. It was live on TV. Sorry. We made a mistake. Sorry. Jesus. Chairman, Don't be afraid? There's 10 of us. He only has 7 bullets. Yes, chairman. Don't be afraid! Big mouth. It's 15 bullets. Get it? Want one in you? What about you? No loyalty. And you? That was close... You didn't do much to save me last night. But I almost died for you today, we're even. Bro, yours is a fake gun. We're friends, forget it. Where are you sneaking off? You said you're sleepy, right? You go back first, I'll dine with Lisa. You didn't sleep too, right? How embarrassing to fall asleep on the dinning table. I'm a scum, not caring for the table manner. True. F U F U too F U 3 F U 4 5,76,11 7,11. Sit down. I've been waiting long time, kids. How's the investigation? Found the Scorpion Yong? If he didn't attack us, we wouldn't have lost to him. I find it strange. Like someone is leading us in circle. Does that tattoo guy really exist? That message from Lo Keung, is it real? What good is it to Lo? He got us to meet Scorpion Yong. To have him kill us. Okay. Someone's pulling the strings to do it to us. Good partners. I'm hungry, let's eat first. Waiter! Michael, how did you piss off Scorpion Yong? What? He's bringing his men come to you. How does he know I am here? You can pay me, so can he. How do you know where I am? Your Lamborghini is hard to miss. This is my favour to you. Run now. Even if you have 2 guns, how many of us can you shoot? Before we fight, sign the contract first. You two go! It was a misunderstanding. Sorry. Misunderstanding? You made me lose face. Put down your gun. Fight! So be it. You think you can win me? Come on. Roll the camera! Hold this. Lincoln! ... Lincoln! I didn't hit him. Will he die? Chairman, we saw you kill him. Right... Perhaps it's your internal strength? Michael, call the ambulance. Oh no. I will take the first flight tomorrow. Any news in the papers and I leave. Go, police is coming. Scorpion Yong! Doctor, how is he? He is stable. You can go to see him. I want to tell you X-ray shows another reason for his condition. There's a bullet-like metal thing in his brain. The metal thing is moving. It's pressing on his nerves. If we don't remove it, he'll go into a coma in 3 weeks. He may even die. Can't it be removed? We want to, but we are not confident. Sorry. Thanks. You're awake. How are you? OK. What's wrong, Lisa? Why didn't you tell me? What's that thing in your head? Doctor says if it's not removed... you've only 3 weeks to live. You tell me now. It's nothing. I got shot 3 years ago when on duty. I didn't remove it, afraid it'd affect me. It's been in there since. I've fainted many times before. Don't worry. Only it was longer this time. I scare of such an unconscious feeling. I'm afraid to sleep. Afraid I'll never wake up again. Lucky you guys were with me this time. What's wrong? 3 years ago... Is this reason you stopped courting me? You tried not to waste my time? You think I'll be happy? And that's being nice to me? You know, you wasted 3 good years. We may not be together forever. But we'll have happy memories. We don't even have that now. Look at me! No matter how many days you've left and the chance for the operation, I'll arrange for you. Because I'll be here with you. You're mine this time. Voice message to dad, press 1. Ask for money, press 2 Make an appointment, press 0 Is Mr. Mak in? Now! previously on "jericho" Heather. Oh, my God. We grew up together over in New Bern. You just going to leave? It won't be for very long. Johnston, you SOB. How the hell did you lose an election? No. The question is, how did you get to be in charge in New Bern? They get tired of you being the sheriff? Can we buy some more of these things? Ten wind turbines for,let's say, ten percent of your spring crop. Okay, we'll give you the food. We're going to need ten Jericho men to help us build them. It wasn't safe for us there anymore. You can't just ride into New Bern and start breaking china. It's a full inventory of Jericho. They sliced it up like they own it. They're making mortar rounds. They're getting ready for war. Hold it! We wanted to break the machine. Stop the factory. Where's Heather? She's dead,Jake. Jake! Everybody go! Jericho is about to be invaded. We'll do this day and night for as long as it takes. Most of you have no idea what's coming. This isn't a fight about land. This is a fight for our very existence. Jerry, I know this has great artistic merit, but I'm taking these shoes off in ten minutes. So, if you don't want to have to hide my toes... Oh, Gail, make yourself comfortable. We can't really do this without the best man anyway. Where is Jake? I don't see him. Yeah. Grandpa seems to be missing, too. Take a wild guess where they are. Right. Oh, Beth. It's so nice to see you, dear. Charlie. Hey, I need your help. We need to go over to the medical center. Is everyone in there? Yeah. We're just waiting for you. How is it going out there? They took Talbot's farm. How many men? I'd say 60... 70. That's probably just an advance team. I would imagine they got more than that up the road in reserve. Constantino has us outnumbered and outgunned. If we split our force, and try to defend each one of these farms, he's going to overwhelm us. So what are you saying? I'm saying we don't split up. We choose a place to stand together, deliver a good, hard counterpunch. Let them know that, if they intend to take from us, it's going to cost them dearly. How? Well, right here. Stanley Richmond's farm. It's the last place before this road divides, and they start taking ground faster than we can keep up. Plus which it's the highest point in the whole area. There's where we make our stand. Deputy Perkins just radioed back. The Talbot farm is secured. Let's go get the rest of them. Let's go! This one's alive. Capture: FRM@xxy Sync: FRM@¹ÏÍ· Grandpa, you're drunk. Yeah? Ah! Thank you, darling. You're welcome. Keep 'em coming. Keep 'em coming. Gail's going to get so mad at you for getting her boy drunk. I've got Gail wrapped around my little finger. Yeah. Says the guy who taught me to fly his crop duster when I was 13, then told Mom I was lying when I mentioned it. I was so jealous. My mom knew that you let him fly, and she wouldn't let me go anywhere near you. You see, Jake would... Jake would come over and tell me all the stories you told him. I loved... I loved the one about the peanuts. What the hell are you talking about? The peanuts in World War II. He means the "Nuts" story, Grandpa. Not peanuts. There were no peanuts involved. So what's the story? Tell me the story, somebody. What? It's his story. All right. World War II. The winter of 1944. The Nazis penetrated the Allied lines, and surrounded a division of Americans in a little town called Bastogne, freezing and starving and running out of ammunition, but they knew that they had to hold that ground. Just before Christmas, the Nazis sent a note to the American commander telling him that he could surrender and save the rest of his men, or they could stay and fight. The American commander sent a one-word reply to the Wehrmacht commander, and it said, "Nuts." Why did he say, "Nuts"? It means, "Go to hell!" Why didn't he just say, "Go to hell"? Because he said, "Nuts." Nuts. Peanuts. Gail! Gail, my sweetheart, you look beautiful. Save it, Dad. Was it your idea to get my son drunk tonight? No. No. Right. Okay. Everybody back to the reception. Come on. But I'm hammered. And I want to talk to you. Have a cup of coffee, Stanley. Here. Well, what's this? Well, as your brother's best man, you are required to give a toast, so I wrote down a few thoughts, some things that you might want to say. You think I was going to wing it? Let's go take some pictures, okay? What's going on? Mr. Green, I have access to a keyhole military satellite that I can use to track New Bern's movements in the field today. Beg pardon? It's real. The one restriction is that no one can know where you're getting this information. Tell them I'm... scouting in the field-- tell them what you want-- but the satellite must remain a secret. Sounds good. Wait. That's it? What do you want me to say? I get it. Man has a satellite. Doesn't want anyone to know. Yeah, but... I am about to go to war with New Bern, Kansas, the home of the nearest Costco. Today is already just about as weird as I can handle. I'm not asking any more questions. Mom, Dad, there's a chance we may have to leave here today, and we might not be able to make it back, so I just wanted to... We just wanted to pay our respects. Remember I told you about that witch from the IRS? The one that wanted to take everything you've ever worked for? Mom, Dad, this is Mimi. Hello. It's nice to finally meet you. I really love your son. And,of course, Bonnie is... she's just wonderful. And I've really enjoyed living with them and... Oh, great. What? I didn't say we were living together. We're not married. Oh. Oh. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I certainly... I... Is everything a joke to you? Hey... I figure one day we're going to be buried here ourselves, and I think it would be nice if our kids came and, and joked around with us. I hope that's not for a really long time. How we doing? We've got about 200 men. That includes Dale's crew. We got more coming, right? Oh, they're trickling in. It's taking a lot longer than we thought. Saying good-bye to their families. Jake, Eric, get on down to the pass. Get everybody organized. We don't have a whole lot of time before their advance unit hits. Not you. Why not? Because these people elected you their leader. We protect you at all costs. And, besides, in a few minutes, I'm going to need your help. Help with what? Arming our tank. Our daughter is out there carrying a rifle and... and I'm in here. Sam needs you here. You know, Allie's safe. She's been assigned to Town Hall, and the fighting is miles from there. Right now, there really isn't anything else you can be doing. Here we go. Jake? Jake, you are about to have company. Already? New Bern is on its way. There are 70... maybe 80 men. Is that tank there yet? They're trying to load it with that mortar round right now. I think you're gonna need it. All right, let's get ready! They're coming! Get some ammo down here! What is it? I'm being tracked. Tracked? What do you mean? Someone is trying to trace my location through the satellite. Well, can they? If they have time, yes. Do you know who it is? My guess is, it's, uh, Valente. What, him? From, uh... from Homeland Security? I don't know who he's working for now, but he told Sarah to get the bomb any way she could and to eliminate all witnesses. All the witnesses. Shut it down. No, I can't. We just have to make sure we disconnect the feed before he finishes the trace. Hey. I don't get it. Why are they just standing there? I don't know. Do we fire the first shot? New Bern's here. Get into position. We're gonna need that tank. Having a good time? Yeah. By the way, I think I saw April making out with Shep Cale. All right, all right. You need to stop drinking. Listen. Read this. It's a speech. Figure you should have something ready, so you don't embarrass yourself. You mean so I don't embarrass you, because you don't have to worry. Oh, is that how you spell "venereal disease"? Jake, this day is important to me, okay? Just because your life's a big joke doesn't mean you have to treat mine that way. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why is my life a joke? Just read the speech. No, seriously, Eric, why is my life a joke? I'm not getting into this right now. All right. You think people don't wonder what you've been doing? You spend all that time in flight school getting your license. Instead of using it, you come back here, and you hang out like it's the summer after high school. Hauling stuff for Emily's dad. Well, hey, if I'm such a joke, then why'd you want me as your best man? You didn't want me, did you? No, not really. Where's that tank? We're not going to last long against those trucks. We have to hold out. Ow! Damn it! Got to keep drawing their fire, all right? Got it. Give me another mag. Where are you going? We'll never get a clean shot from here. I need to get up that hill and shot on the gunner. All right. I got your back. All right. Cover him! Rob, why eliminate witnesses? I mean,whoever's tracking you, they either... want to use the bomb for themselves or... they want to keep you from using it, but... either way, wh-what difference do witnesses make? I mean, the bombs have fingerprints,don't they? Something that make them traceable. I remember reading that. It's the uranium. It has, uh... It has a specific signature. It places the origin of the device where it was made. So there were dozens of these things used in the attacks,right? And now you have the last one. Yeah. Robert, I don't, I don't think these people are looking at this thing as a weapon. It's more than that. It's... Evidence. It's the smoking gun behind the greatest crime in the history of the world. Huh. The bomb... it could expose the people who were responsible for the attacks. That's why they need it back. Yeah. Did you see what I just did? Holy crap. That was... Holy crap! All right, that bought us some time. But they'll be back, and there'll be more of them. And it won't be near as easy next time. Easy? You thought that was easy? Jake. Dad? Clear the table! Clear it! Clear it! I'm gonna go get Kenchy. Get my mom! We'll need towels. And some antiseptic and some alcohol. We need alcohol. Get a towel! Get me some alcohol! Here we go. Give me that. Come on. Okay, all right. Jake? Keep the pressure on. What? Keep it on! Keep the pressure. Hey, Jake, come in. Hawkins. Hey, nice work out there. Tell your father that they're coming back around. He's been shot. I'm sorry. Okay. You know what to do, right? Keep pressure on the wound, and there should be some morphine syrettes in the, uh, supplies I gave you. Yeah, we've got it. Listen, Jake. People are gonna be looking to you now. You know what I mean? Yeah. Okay, the guys will be back. They retreated to Talbot's farm. My guess is, they're waiting for reinforcements, so you should have a little time to regroup out there. Just keep the radio close, and I'll update you. Out. Out. Um, please, I need a doctor, whoever's in charge. Right over there. Excuse me, sir? Colonel Hoffman. You don't have to call me sir, not unless you plan to enlist. There's a city called New Bern. It has a munitions factory. It's planning to overrun the town of Jericho. People are gonna get killed. They tried to kill me, but I got away. You've got to help these people. Where is this? Kansas, not far from the Colorado border. I wish I could help. My orders are to secure the roads in this area. I don't get to make these decisions. But, sir... I'm just a government employee. Which government? United States. Are you all right, ma'am? We heard there were six different people claiming the presidency. There were. In fact, there are still a couple of holdouts-- Texas, a bloc in the East. The new federal government's been restored in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Colonel, this is an emergency. You have to go to Jericho. The fighting could be happening right now. I am very sorry, ma'am. Casper, you see she gets back to the medical unit. Come on, ma'am. Get 'em out. Why? Get 'em out. Clear everyone out. You listen... This place is where you survive. You make a stand here, you hear? We will. I'm sorry you have to see this. You been through enough. Dad, Dad, stop. You're stronger than you think you are, though. Always have been. I love you, son. I guess I zigged when I should've zagged out there, huh? I sure wish your mother was here. She's coming. Yeah. She'll be here. Tell your mother I love her. I was... hard on you. I pushed you... away. I'm glad you... came... home. I'm proud of you. He's gone. Okay... The big toast. Before I start, is there anyone who hasn't written me a speech? I mean, it really makes me wonder how screwed up you think I am that I can't be trusted to say a few things about my brother. The thing is, uh, Oh, yeah, the thing is these are all pretty lame. Not one of them mentions my brother's musical theater phase when we all thought he was gay. Seriously. I mean you have not heard disturbing until you've heard him singing "One Hand, One Heart" in the shower every morning. I tease my brother a lot, but the truth is the truth is I'm very proud of him. I'm, uh... I'm proud of how kind he is... I'm, uh, I'm proud of how giving he is, and, uh... he's a very lucky man. Really. My father's dead. We'll get through. Get Gray back to town. What? W-Wait a minute... Come tomorrow, what's left of us will need a leader. I think we've lost enough in that department for one day. We're gonna need every set of hands we can get. I'm not going anywhere. You're too important ? It's not negotiable. Get him an escort. And start getting everyone into position. Who knows when they're gonna come back again? Jake? Go ahead. So they got their reinforcements. It's a couple hundred men. And another six of those deuce and a halfs. They're mobilizing now, so I say you got about 15, maybe 20 minutes before they're on you. All right, you get back here as soon as you can. All right? Say, what do you know about a set of train tracks running alongside the river? Why? What do you see? Hawkins, what's on the tracks? I don't know. I can't see. Hawkins... Robert... Robert, disconnect it. Hang on. Jake, you got a very large train coming from New Bern and they've got three cargo cars. What's in them? I think it's men, and there's hundreds of them. It's a whole set of reinforcement... Hawkins, what's going on? Talk to me. Jake, I'm on my way. I've got to go. Wait. Look, they only had a few seconds. It wasn't enough time to get an exact location. We're fine for a little while. Where are you going? I have to stop a train. I-80 is secured from Cheyenne to Grand Island. We now control the area between Kearney and Hastings. I-70 is turning out to be a challenge. There are organized road gangs controlling much of the interstate. I've also been told by a patient in our medical unit to expect a significant skirmish between two towns in northwest Kansas: New Bern and Jericho. What is the location of those towns? CZ-12, Quadrant Four. We've tracked the terror suspect to within 200 miles of that area. Capture of this suspect is a top priority for President Tomarchio and the administration. Do you understand? Should I re-prioritize, sir? Immediately. Go to Jericho and crush the skirmish. Once the area's clear, we will begin our search for the terrorists I'm gonna ask Mimi to marry me. Yeah? Yeah. She can't cook; she's never seen nine innings of baseball in her life; she hates my clothes... but I love her. And I'm happy. Jake, I don't want to die today. You're gonna make it out of here. That I promise. Hawkins! Hey. Constantino and those trucks are right on your doorstep. You don't have much time. What about that train? 20 minutes, give or take. Tell me you have a plan, a really good one. Hey, I need to borrow your tank. It won't fire. I told you that, right? There's not a single round of ammo in it. I'm not planning on shooting anything. Uh, the throttle's there on your left. And to steer, you're just gonna... Hey. This is not my first time. Jake. Good luck out there. Yeah. You, too. Any minute now, huh? Yeah. I'm, uh... You know, he's here, watching. You know that, right? They still doing the bunny hop in there? I think it's the Macarena. The what? Yeah, they're still doing the bunny hop. Quite a speech you made in there. I had no idea you were such a sentimental fool. Mom wrote it. You think? Listen, I know that you and Eric aren't close and maybe you didn't feel like standing up in front of a bunch of people and... acting like you were. Sometimes doing what you feel like doing and doing what needs to be done are two different things. You don't have to worry about me, Dad. I'm fine. I somehow get the feeling my worrying days are far from over. But they will be one day. One day, I know you're gonna become the man I know you can be, the man you were born to be. My God, that day's gonna be something to see. Come on, Johnston. This scotch ain't gonna drink itself. Me and the old man are gonna head down to the lake and share some 30-year-old single malt. You want to come? Yeah. Yeah. I'm just gonna... wait for Emily, say good night. I'll, uh... meet you there. I'll save you a place. Where's he going? Oh, he's waiting for Emily. Gonna say good night. Well... that's the last we'll see of him tonight. Dad. Ah... listen, if I had a girl that looked like that, I wouldn't keep her waiting. Hey, you hear that, boy? I'm gonna take tha girl away from you. Yeah, you talk a good game. Eh, you better watch out for yourself, too. Your wife is crazy about me. Oh, my wife wants to take a hickory switch to you three times a day. Jake, it's Constantino. I'm here. My scouts just informed me. I am sorry about your father. Jake, you're outmanned and you're outgunned. There's too many of us and we are too desperate to give up. You cannot win this. I'm giving you one last chance. Walk away, put your guns down and return to town, and no one else will be harmed. Jake, I need an answer. What's it gonna be? Nuts. Sorry, I didn't get that. You can go straight to hell. About my father... you're the one I'm coming for. I want to go home. Our orders are to take people out of the conflict zone. You'll be safer in Cheyenne. Colonel Hoffman? What is all this? Sir, wheels up in five minutes. Roger that. Jericho's been moved up to priority #1 on the list. Thank you. Oh, God, thank you. This is all thanks to you. Don't worry. We're gonna get things back to normal again. All right, saddle up. My father expected us to make a stand here. To defend our home. That's what we're gonna do. Smoke bombs! Get in position! Don't waste your rounds! Wait for a clean shot! Wait. Wait. Wait. Now! Campaign of solidarity: This campaign represents an apology. We hereby apologize for the greed and the omnipotent consumption we cause on a daily basis. With this campaign, we speak out against the oppressive system and the over-extension of the free market. We support the solidarity of the community and give away our goods. - Your service crew Gas free of charge today Campaign of solidarity... So what did she look like? It hurt like shit sitting on the floor with my knees crossed... I wouldn't have held out much longer anyway. I just sat in a way that was more comfortable. Get out! Did I say something wrong? No, but I have things to do today. That's perfectly clear, I could understand that. So what did she look like? Although it could have been a wig. Alright then. So what should I do with him now? The usual procedure. I'm going to find a decent cup of coffee. Max! I have to get back... - I'll call you back in an hour. Bye. They belong together. They've danced for the Pope. What kind of music is that? They brought it with them. Who would want to listen to that? The Pope? How would I know? Man Viktor, I wanted a singer. Ask them if they can sing. Excuse me. Do you have a song prepared? Singing, songs! What's this pop shit? What's this one's name here? -That's Angie. Angie, Bring me a soda. That's going to take a little while... First, I have to finish up the glasses, boss. We could forget about the girls and just do your uncle's quiz show. Why can't she just bring me a soda when I order a soda. She likes to do one thing after another. Listen Viktor, let me tell you something. Even if the quiz show works out... Which we have no idea about yet... It will work out. I want a number here with a singer. High class! Alright. High... class! I'll take care of it! - Good! Why isn't the sign up? Hi everyone. Well, at least it's finished. When do I get the money? When this thing is up. Tell me Nora. Wouldn't you rather work over there with us... Instead of wasting your time over here. Oh no! We're wasting our time. What's going to happen to us. We won't survive! He's got a screw loose! By the way, does your brother have the money? Yes, he has the money. You can pick it up right now. Finally some good news! Great, right? Maybe something will actually come out of your hotel. Although I would fire the bellman. He's got a screw loose. Tom? Tom is the way he is. But you Toni, how are you? I don't have a screw loose. I'm an entrepreneur. But I shouldn't say that too loud. And what else are you? The sign goes up tonight. It's taken long enough. Hi there, I heard you have my money. Your money? My five thousand, that you owe me. You probably mean this here. You glue money to the wall? Is that five thousand? Yes. You owe me money and glue it to the wall? Are you insane? Toni, look at it like this. My office is your place of pilgrimage, You can always come here and beg forgiveness for your greed. Stop this bullshit! Euro-Basilica! From now on, we'll call it Euro-Basilica! I'll have you sent to the insane asylum. You along with your loony sister and the other idiots too. Should I explain how I really see it? So my dear Franz, I'll give you untill the end of the week to get these bills off the wall. Otherwise I'll call the police, and I'll call the press. That way the whole world can see the idiots, with whom I have to co-exist. I also have to co-exist with you... with your America fetish and the stench of your bar... and the constantly changing waitresses bitching to us that you won't pay them. Actually, I should bash your face in for all this. But my father and your father are brothers. Well, I'll come up with a plan. Think up something. And you darling, come up with a plan as well. I already have. Try getting them off with steam. Max the Hunter Max the Hunter - Excuse me. What? Is the bar open? I mean can I get a decent cup of coffee? Now that's a classic portrait. What do you think Angie? I'm not a fan of black and white photos. I had a black and white photo taken of me as well. I looked really great. Just fabulous, like a film star. But I don't look like that at all. Exactly. That's why I like black and white photos. So you lie to yourself quite a bit. Right? I think you are beautiful. - Hi. Angie, clean up back there! One thing after another, boss. This one is good too, by the way. Right, quite good. Okay, I'll take that. You want to buy me a drink? Why not? Thank you for the sign. Now go to your brother and pull the money off the wall. Go fuck yourself Toni. You could stay outside as well, or sit in the lobby and drink tap water. - Can we get a coffee here? Sure. Two coffees? - Black. Me too. Thank you. That's S.L. Hello. Yes, I'm Babette. So are we going? Are we staying? No, we have to go. Fine, okay. Good. If you're looking for me. I'll be here. Bye. Where did you pick up the little one? Blonde angel. She just appeared. How come that doesn't happen to me? You are too pretty. Should I make myself ugly or what? Disguise yourself. Take a look at this. You know what this looked like before? No idea. I do. What do we do now? Do you want me to retrieve the file? If you ask me, It was a Halloween prank by a couple of kids from the tattoo shop. From earth, the sun and the moon appear to be the same size. Is it coincidental or physical necessity? This is good. So tell me, what kind of quiz show is this? Sauerbruch... Who would be interested in that? I don't want to discuss it with you now. Do you understand? May your knowledge rain upon Toni's bar, so the seeds of education and prosperity take root. What do you want? I saw mom in the supermarket. - Attention! Report to 08... - Supermarket... The last time I heard from her she was in Sweden. That was the end of the seventies. What would she be doing in a supermarket around here? What do I know? You imagined it. Why would she suddenly just show up here? Sweden is much too far away for a short visit. But suppose I did see her. You've got her mixed up. I didn't get her mixed up. Do you hear that? This singing, you hear that? Isn't that great? It' s been going on for days. Why can't everyone just leave me alone? You'll get the file in the morning. Alright? Fine. Shouldn't I come with you? It's not necessary. Too bad! A 1,000 Euro show. How come 1,000 Euros? What were you thinking? Toni's 999 Euro show? I was thinking a 99 Euro show. Do you want something with style or do you want to be cheap? Who'd pay me that? Doesn't 99 sound better than 100? In the supermarket sure... But for your event, 99 sounds as stupid as 100. Sitting up there in his hotel suite and dreaming of the whole wide world... How much do you think I earn in this place? Definitely more than we do in our hotel. That's your fault, my dear Alfons. Just to settle it, Toni's 500 Euro show. And that's exactly the amount I want for each night. You've got to be kidding. Yes Franz? I just wanted to check up on you. I'm doing fine. Are you alone? No. How come? What is all this here? Who is that? That's my brother Franz. Franz this is Max. Can we talk for a moment Babette? No. - Would you leave please? Why? Why should I? Listen this isn't the right time. Okay? Who the hell are you? I don't even know you. Who is this Babette? This is a new one, a friend. Tomorrow, you are welcome to get a room. You go to the reception desk like everyone else, so you won't have to sneak in here at night. Then I'll introduce you to everyone else. Fine. I don't know if everything is fine. At least it's not for me. Franz, just leave. Franz, please! Can't we lock the door? No. We're talking about months worth of work here! Intellectual work! 100 Euros for you. No more! No less! Thanks. No way then. I promised the people an event. I want the seats full. And next year, we make your place into a respectable hotel. Alfons, this isn't just some quiz show here. I'll make it sound captivating... This quiz show is the dawn of a new era. Who's dreaming here now? Last offer... 300 Euros for me and you can call it a 99 cent show. 100! Thanks, then I'll look for someone else. Who? Where would he go? Television perhaps. A double espresso, and make it quick! I'm just about done with the glasses. Did I ask her if she's done with anything? No. Why would she inform me then? That's just her way. This way of hers is starting to get on my nerves! You must be Max. I've got the 503 for you. 503. - I don't need a room. This is a beautiful room. You don't have to sign anything. Everything is for free. It's very intimate here. You're among friends. What should I do with them? Did you sleep well? Your keys please. Hand them over! I'll hang them up until you come back. That's how it's done in hotels. My name is Tom. You can call me Tom. Campaign of solidarity... Give me the keys! There's breakfast upstairs in the cafeteria. I'd have a problem just simply asking... I just couldn't come out... - That's why I have this 10 Euro bill for you. - I found it, and would like to give it you, because you need money... That way we can approach one another for both my sake and yours. Are you crazy? ! Nora! Here. Thanks. She doesn't understand me, so I got nervous and let the tray fall down. - It doesn't matter. I'm nice to her and I even gave her money, because she needs money. - I had this well prepared. Tom, it doesn't fucking matter. Nothing here is prepared. Can you make breakfast for two? Two? Right away. Leave it alone! Just leave it alone for now. It's okay, we'll leave it alone. We'll leave it alone. Just a moment. Pull yourself together. Hello, I'm Josephine Reiter. Franz is starting up a commune. This is no commune. I met Josephine at an entrepreneur's seminar. She was my marketing instructor. Great, and what does that have to do with me? Actually this is a historical location here. But now my cousin wants to set up some sort of Christian-Communist enclave. - Certainly there are people out there that would be interested. Maybe not here, but in general. Am I right? Certainly you can turn this in to something. I mean television... - What's all this? First of all, I think this place is great. Really? - Really. - Yeah, I think so too. I mean it's exotic. Right? For example what's been done with money. Pretty funny. - It's a hole in the wall, but it's alive. - Perhaps it's best if Mr. Harmann and I sit down and consider what to do next. Coincidentally, my name is Harmann too. Yes, but coincidentally, she doesn't mean you. Alright then, good luck with that. I'll be in my office. If anyone wants a coffee or something, just let me know. Thanks. Shit. I'm an idiot, I could be doing something completely different. Like what? Like earning money for instance. Instead I'm sitting here in this shitty hotel with it's shitty rooms. It's not shitty here. You're beautiful. Shut up! I hope you like your new room and that you would recommend us to others. We will do our best to ensure... That's alright Tom. - ... so that your stay is as pleasant as possible. Yes I... What should I say now? Alright? Good. So tell me... Can you be trusted? That's enough Tom. ... It's a place, an organism, an arrangement that operates primarily without money or monetary transactions ... but rather human interaction, so that we may confront one another and exchange ideas, where everyone can find their own voice and achieve a self-realization. That's the top priority. We are open to everyone who really wishes to contribute and live among us. What develops here depends on each and every one of us. That's the basic idea. Very good. Hello. Ah, my neighbor. Yes, that's right. Let's sing something together. I'm a friend to the art of singing. Sounds like there's a "but" coming. But... only when I feel like it. It's much different for me. I could sing all day long. Obviously, you don't like my singing. No. It's dreadful. I'm just being honest. That's how I am. I'm very sorry but your singing annoys me. That's why you're here? I just wanted to make that clear before we get closer to each other. Who says that I want to get closer to you? Get out! The Goldfish - Welcome to the news! I'm proud to say that we've grown yet again. We have three new guests. For the new ones, first off a few words... This is a hotel, but at the same time we offer a lot of space... a lot of free space. Kind of a community... Sort of an organism. A place where everyone can come and contribute with their life experience above all this is a place that doesn't obey the rules of the market nor that of greed. Our first guest is Emilia. Well I'm a photographer and I like to sing. Then tell us what you like to sing. German songs chansons opera everything. I also like to sing Schubert. What else should I say about myself? I have a tumor the size of an egg. Right in here and sometimes it gives me a headache. Yes well, I like to sing. We know each other from before. Emilia was in the hospital a long time as well. Too long. And... she's a good writer! Thank you. Yes, I'm Josephine Reiter and I want to make something about Franz and your community. That's why there's a camera. - A film! About you Franz! - For television. Let her continue! I thought it would be helpful if something about you was shown. Does anyone need help here? I don't need any help. I don't either. I don't need anyone. Josephine wants to sniff out something authentic. Yes, exactly. And you? I'm just a guest here. He lives in 503. Max needs a place to crash. That's why you're here, right? Although, who is Max? We'll see. What is this here? Please leave him alone now, Franz. I ask myself that as well. I am leaving him alone. You'll find yourself alone here... Max. Then have a good day. When you have a bit of time, I would like to show you something. Not today. Then I guess not. Perhaps tomorrow. May I ask you a few questions? Very good. What are you actually doing here? You're very talkative. Everything begins when we start to think for ourselves. That's the basis for every change. The problem is, we have no idea about the products and goods, we continually use. - No one knows where they're produced... - No one actually knows what 's in them. We are totally bombarded by foreign images. That's why I propose this very simple action. We all head out... Everyone brings a camera with them, a cell phone camera or whatever... You could borrow one and we go off in small groups and we take pictures of the products we see in supermarkets. In supermarkets or drugstores... We simply go in with our cameras... It's irritating enough for most of the sales people. We go in with the cameras, and take pictures of like hairspray, toothpaste, candy bars instant soup, packets of noodles, etc... etc... We'll form our own impressions because we've been bombarded from every direction by foreign pictures. - If you'd like to bring others with you, I've prepared some extra flyers. - Take them with you. Invite your friends or convince your spouses... The door is locked. Chess. Put your knight over here... and then you can take the rook but before that, you let me out! Keep that in mind. Couldn't be! I see you two are getting along. Tom, how does this dress suit me? Fabulous! And how does he suit me? A work in progress. I think so too. He's demanding. Are you two finished? Come on! I have a surprise for you. She's also quite demanding. I'll give it a try. We start with the action. We have to do something. We'll do something... We have to come together and actually do something. Then we'll meet up and talk about it. Otherwise we talk and talk and nothing ever happens. That's why we have to take the initiative ourselves. Those who want to join, come with me to the entrance... The others can think about it. If a few came, I'd be happy. Who here has a camera or a cell phone? ... Stop... Two steps to the right... - Sit down! Open your eyes! They're for you. They're pretty. What do they eat... water? You have to feed them. I have to feed them? We'll feed them. They'll definitely die. They'll last a little while. So... What's up? How's it going with your marketing assistant? What do you want? Did you tell her your idea for a Christian community center? Have a seat! You know someone who can sing... female... pretty. You mean Nora. You won't get Nora, she belongs to the hotel. Make me a beer Angie! Well, that takes a while. Then take your time! God damn it! Is that your new waitress? - You like her? You can have her, and give me Nora! I am not letting Nora go. You can forget it! Alright. How's my money doing? Still stuck to the wall. I'll stick you the wall too, my boy. I have a little time, and I have to show you this. Incidentally, I don't have any time. You won't regret it. Listen, you just show up out of nowhere. Couldn't you at least say please? What's all this? Why do you make everything so complicated? Of course not then. I'm busy, goodbye. Then at least stop singing. I have to get my show finished, you got that? Do you think you can just tell me what to do? Oh yeah, I think so. You're mistaken, my dear. Put your lousy 10 Euros away. I only take donations over a hundred. I've thought about it. In this case it's not a donation. I would like something in return. What I want in return, is to touch you. Go ahead. What's going on here? Everything is fine, Franz. The bar clown next door wants you to sing for him for his ridiculous event. Toni wants me to sing? You can sing? Can she sing? I just want to let you know that I've cancelled it. But why? I could just sing for him once. I would gladly do it. I don't want her to sing for Toni. Toni is a slave driver. You said it yourself, Franz. They work all night long. She's not working for Toni. If you have to, you can sing for him once. Sing him the Internationale. He'd enjoy that. What? The international workers anthem! There were workers here once. Screw it. I'm sorry, Franz. I'm singing. I'm singing! I don't want to go to Toni's. I won't go in there. I've never been in there and I never will. Once again.... You've sold the doors and the door frames? Why? I mean what could you get for a door plus the frame. Excuse me, but I have no idea. It opens up the room. It can breathe. Does it get you money? You want it? Here, I'll give you the fucking money. If you want more, you can go down and tear some off the wall. No. I don't want your money. I don't need it. But I do need a door. So I could close it behind me. I thought you'd like it. I do like it. In some way I do like it. It's dreary. Of course. Arise, you wretched of the earth! Arise, you wretched of the earth! Arise, you prisoners of starvation! Forjustice thunders condemnation, It is the eruption of the end! Is this what you were thinking? - Okay, that's enough! You'll sing for me. I'm not finished yet. You're still singing for me. - I have to ask Franz first. You need written permission? I'll think about it. Don't take so long. He found some chicks that aren't too bad either. They're taller than you too. Legs, up to here! I'll think about it. Good, don't take so long! I've got to drink something. Why are you coming here? I walk around the whole day and think about how I could live. I come back here and wait... Mainly, I've been waiting on you, my dear. You've really downsized quite a bit. My father started all that. I've told someone about you. Could you imagine living here with us? He'd like to take a look at the hotel. Why? He could do a lot more for you. Why are you coming here? You leave everything open. Very nice, without any obligations. We have the ability to speak. What is it that you do all day? What do I do? But you're still staying? I'm still staying. It's so silent here. No singing. Where is Emilia? She's taking a walk. What? It's one in the morning. I have no idea. Perhaps she's singing outside now. What do you do before you come here? I wallow in the mud. You're a construction worker? Isn't that the photographer? Everything alright? I'm feeling a little dizzy. We'll take you back. Shall I tell you about the development of labor movements during the industrial age just to pass away the time? Some other time. - There they are. Good evening everyone. - Here you are. - I was worried. I know I shouldn't be taking walks anymore. Can I help you? I'm fine, thank you. I have to leave. Why? Now you can tell me about what you're working on. Who'd want to know? Oh I'm interested in it. - But you'll be sure to spoil it any moment now. How old are you? I'm not saying. Variety, you know what I'm saying? Sure, my mother worked in a variety theater. As a dancer? As a cloak room attendant. Nora, we're making you an offer. You'll sing for us on the weekend and work as a waitress. Both? Not at the same time. I know that. I could use good some employees. They don't challenge you at all in this hotel. How much? Three Euros an hour, plus tips. Three Euros, fixed? Fixed. Welcome! Nora, you've made the right decision. I hope that in the next few years... Viktor, that's enough. ... we'll lay the groundwork for a great program. Here's to a fruitful cooperation. - Harmann. That's you. Yes, but please don't interrupt! There's more. Can I choose now? Pop culture. It crashed. So tell me, I heard you were politically active? Do you still want to see the rest? Yes. That'll be a bit difficult without hands. I'm listening. Jesus and the Merchants Jesus and the Merchants Classic! Now this place has atmosphere! Yes, great! Classic! Look at the atmosphere! It's a dead end! Cool, right? Are you for real? Are you blind? Or am I invisible? There's no money here! If that bothers you, you're welcome to leave. Calm down, Franz. I see how you are and I like what I see. Here, Jesus and the merchants. It's all in there. - Only no one understands it anymore. - It's a culturally useless artifact. It's quite heavy. Shall I quickly summarize it? I can read, thank you. Jesus enters the temple, it's filled with merchants... He flips the tables over, and says: My house shall be a place of worship, but you've turned it into death pit. Okay, you want to attract more guests, right? Generally, yes. But who would want to come here? Let me worry about that for now. Do you two need a priest now or what? Who's that? - That is a man in a monkey mask. I thought so. What does he want? Hannes is a television producer. Yes, but what is he doing here? He's interested in this place. Is he also interested in us? - Yes, he is. By the end of this, one out of four people in this country will know who you are. The monkey too. How does that sound? What's that going to get me? That would be great for you! There's no file. What do you mean there is no file? There never was a file. Then make a file. Sure, then tell me where to start. I will. Now. Soon. Stamps? - Stamps? What should I do with those? I don't write letters. I don't have anything else. I know, I know. How long can you get by with this here? Franz, are you still there? Yes! How long can you get by with this here? I won't be here for a while you know. Where will you be? Yeah, up north in Scandinavia. Scandinavia? That should be nice. That's what I'm saying. You have to make sure that you and your comrades here are taken care of. I gave that poetry book of yours to Roswitha for her birthday. She was quite delighted. I don't have anymore. Otherwise, I would give you another one. Don't worry about it. Don't let them get you down! They can all go to hell, right? Great, three days of ravioli. How was your audition? They expired last year. Throw them away. Nonsense, what else should we cook? Are you going to sing for Toni? Well, if I survive the ravioli. Then that'll be your new job? Right. Then you won't work here anymore? You can always visit me. Would you like that? I don't care. - No Tom, and no ravioli but for actual money. ... without Tom. Bon appetit! For tonight's special event, it's best to pray because it's probably dangerous. - What? The food has expired! If that was the only thing? Same old story. Amen. Amen. - No ravioli? No thank you. - No thanks. I bet he goes to a restaurant afterwards, and takes Babette with him. She likes it when she gets a warm meal. Oh Franz. I'm not hungry. What's this, Chinese? How about you? I'm fasting. Say, isn't that strange to practically fast into one's own death? It's just a question. - Very tactful. Yes Dad, very nice. Right to the point. What did I say? Are you hard of hearing? I've just about had enough. Shut up! I won't listen to this crap any more. It's a good thing when new people come to us. You could be a bit nicer, especially to her. I think so too. And you shut that thing off! Alright, fine. - Bon appetit! Thanks. Do we want to leave? Why don't we just stay? Just for now. 310? Women's bathroom. 1 15? Two keys, no lock. 412? Two keys. Excellent. Hotel Lunik. What can you do for us? Hi, we're with Hannes. We're supposed to take some photos here. I have a list of names. Could you round everyone up? I'll take care of that. That'd be great. Photos, of all of us? With or without the mask? He likes to wear a mask. Is that alright? No, not at all! With the mask! Alright! I'll be right back. Very nice. The man in the mask, in the middle. Everybody a little closer together. Are you a part of the group? Why doesn't your boyfriend join us? Why doesn't your girlfriend join us? Why don't you both join us? Come join us! They can make fools of all of us. It'll be good for you! Come on. I'm just a guest. This time you're the subject. The more people we have, the livelier it will be. Very nice! So, you met the boys. - Yes. - They take great pictures. First the good news Franz. My boss says the location is perfect. Yes? What does that mean? That means as soon as the contracts are signed, we'll do a casting. - What? Someone will play me? What do you think? Will this work? Get rid of the Jesus business! Yeah, but it somehow works with the whole revolution thing. Explain to me why they won't work together? Why won't they work together? ! Just settle down. Franz, I have the contracts with me... Let's find a quiet place where we can talk it over. It's quite the opposite. The people don't want to see authenticity. Stars! That's it. Every once in a while, we'll throw in an average guy. That will freshen it up a bit. Could Franz be that guy? It's not my job. That's up to the casting people. - But the Hotel, that stays in. - That'll be something. That's true. Although, all of you will have to be out of here by then. - Where should I go? Should I make myself invisible? - Well I think It's cool here... No doors, wild. Tell me, how did you find this place? Angie, three schnapps, and no objections! Okay, my last offer... 150 per show, and only if it works. Why wouldn't it work? You never know. And what happens if it doesn't work? God damn it! Don't you start up again with me. Yes or no? I just want to have it cleared up. This guy's got an issue earning money. He's in debt, fiddles around on his show for a year lives from nothing, and he gets stuck on the fine print. Thanks. Alfons, you're my uncle. You can't do anything about that and neither can I. I'm sorry to say this but every time you get an opportunity, you blow it. He's got a point. Fuck you. I think we got him. Ah, a tent! I haven't gone camping in a while. Fine. We got a lot done today. Got a lot done, but for what? For what? Well good night then. Can I sleep here? No. I'm staying here. Good night, Franz. Why don't we all just go to bed? You don't know me, otherwise you wouldn't suggest that we all just go to bed. Have yourself a nice evening, and drink some cognac down at Tonis. We'll see you tomorrow. My mother used to always say, the best guests are the ones who complain. That way you can always improve yourself. My mother worked in this restaurant for fifty years. And I think... There's far too little complaining here. Can I finally get back to work boss? I'm not done yet. Angie, there are problems. What kind of problems? We'll do a little demonstration for you. Are you ready? What kind of demonstration then? Just say that your ready! In that case I'm ready. What can I do for you, boss? A beer for me. You want something too? I'd like a soda please. A beer and a soda. Right away boss. What sort of demonstration is this supposed to be, boss? We're not done yet, Angie. Angela, my name is Angela, and not Angie, boss. Angie, you are, generally speaking, if I may say the problem that some people have with service industry. But actually the problem isn't you. Lack of education, that's the problem. That's why we're doing this demonstration : For your education. A beer. A soda. Thank you. That's Nora, she works for us now. I hope you pick up a lot from her, Angela. Am I fired now, or what? Angie, how can you pick up anything from Nora if your fired? Won't work, right? I wanted to excuse myself for my faux pas. - Faux pas. You have a problem with women, my dear, as large as this building. And you're resentful, stubborn, and complicated. I don't even want to get into your problem with men. Again with another attack against me. You can go ahead and excuse yourself again. - I wouldn't do that. Fine then! I'm a kind-hearted person. Me too. I'll be glad to get out of here. I can imagine. You'll give me a ride? Of course. Lie down next to me. Get some sleep. All these people are driving me crazy. I don't understand what they are talking about. I don't know what they want from me. No discussion. I'm tired. I've got to do something. Come on! Let's go and take care of this. Tom, I can't find Franz. Please give him my best regards, and give him this. This is the video footage. I've decided not to do the project. He'll be upset then. I'm sorry, but I think it's for the best. I'm upset too. Didn't you like the mask? The mask was great. I'm not so certain. It's not your fault. Who's fault is it then? Certainly it's not yours. Take care Tom. I've been waiting for you. I had the late shift. Now I've got no time. What are you doing? Shopping free of charge Help! Do you live here now? You came here to ask me that? Something has happened. What? A supermarket was held up. A woman was shot. Is he shoplifting now? What are you up to there? I haven't taken advantage of my employee benefits yet. I'm entitled to 50 Euros worth of goods per month. That includes former employees as well. I looked into it. Now's the perfect moment to start in with that. They owe me 44 Euros and 10 cents now. That costs 5 Euros and 90 cents? That stuff is expensive. Are these friends of yours? Can't you see this has been blocked off! ? But it says, 'shopping free of charge' outside. They haven't torn down the sign yet. Please exit the building! Why? We want to go shopping! This is the scene of a criminal investigation. It just doesn't work like that, if it's written on the sign... Get out immediately, otherwise you'll be shot out by the task force. Toni's dream Can you help me with my tie? What? My tie, I forgot how it works. No. Why don't you just ask Franz? Okay, okay. It was just a question. I just can't do it. That's fine. Would you come with me? No. Would you please leave me alone now? ! Yes! Good! Then I'll have to go it alone. You work here? I wanted to tell you... You're here in this bar? Toni promised that he wouldn't steal you away. You're ruining the hotel! I should have known. Where is Toni? In his office. Franz, we had no contract. I said that I would help you. But you never paid me. That's why. Is that the only reason? Among others. You did steal Nora away! You might as well hire Tom! Then we'll all leave and you can build your luxury hotel or your recreation center or whatever! You've already prepared contracts? Where are they then? Calm down, Franz. Is that loaded? You promised me that you wouldn't take Nora away from me. And you gave Josphine money so she'd leave? ! You're pointing a gun at me? We're cousins right? As far as Nora is concerned... She applied at the bar. She wants to work for me, because she needs money. What for? She has all she needs here! Just sit down, Franz. You want something to drink? Coffee? Quick! Come in and shut the door! No sleep last night, Franz? You need money? I don't need money! - Put the gun down! What's going to happen now? You'll slaughter your family, or what? I don't want to show up in the newspaper like that! I said, I don't need money! Franz doesn't need money. Does it work with the suit? Yes, the suit looks good. I look old. No. I would say mature. I'd like to ask you something. The tie looks good on you. If you think so. There is still a problem. It'll be fine. Are you coming with me? I don't think I'd make it through an evening like this. You don't have to. I know. Just tonight. I'd rather not. Okay. The girls are here now. Bring them in. There's plenty of room. No one's coming in here. Don't you want to take a look at the girls, Franz? No! I'm starting to cry. - Welcome to the news. Everything is falling apart. Nora... Not here. Franz... Not here. Alfons, has his performance tonight at Tonis. Nora... Where is Nora? Not here. I'm here. - Ah great! Here comes the artist. What can I get you? A bottle of whiskey. A whole one? Yes. It's okay like that? - And a double espresso. Okay, we've got that too. Tonight is my night and your father's show. Do you want to ruin that? - It's taken long enough. Or did your father send you to detain us, while he flees to Russia? - Ha ha! It was a joke! Put that thing away! Where is my father? I could go take a look. It's best if we all go together. No, we're all staying here! I've been preparing this evening for weeks. - I won't allow you to ruin my event, just because you've gone crazy. - What do you want? Just tell me exactly what it is! What? Yes! What! ? To go to Sweden. To Sweden? He wants to go to Sweden. Why didn't you say that earlier? Give Bulle a call. He drives up there tonight. He could pick him up. And get Angie, she can take over from here. You will allow me to let someone take over. I have to take care of my bar. Tell me... Couldn't we break off the pieces and move them? We can't. That's how the world champions would do it. Fine then. The knight goes from G5 to E6. Checkmate. Oh really? Take care of him. He's getting picked up in two hours. Okay, I see. I appreciate it. Say, could you tie this? I knew that he had a screw loose somewhere. Who would have thought he has such difficulties? Wouldn't it be better if I call the police? No! Give Bulle a call. He should pick him up. Say, could you put that gun away? It's making me nervous, that thing in your hand. When I get nervous, I can't stop talking. - Everybody has problems. Tell me, this isn't that Pope troupe? Pope dancers. It'll be great, I promise. Background for Nora. Hopefully not this hip-hop shit. Don't worry about it. It'll be great. Next time, you change your shirt. Chic! Recently, my neighbor has been leaving her trash in front of my door. She said that she didn't notice. The fact that it fell over, and brown sauce dripped all over my carpet... She didn't notice that either, right? She said, that she didn't do it on purpose. And that's just not nice. That's just how life is though. - A marvelous woman with a marvelous voice and a marvelous song. Nora and the Pope dancers! Everything gets to the point where I just say stop. I'll play along for a little while. To take advantage of this would be wise. As long as I'm a part of the game. - If I were to leave, I wouldn't know where to go. If I order a schnitzel, she says I'm too fat. I should get myself something vegetarian. Why is it my mother's business what I eat? - I don't get involved with her life. I don't tell her what she should and shouldn't eat. You also have a mother who's sticking her nose in everything? ... for such a long time. Shall I leave? - It couldn't do any harm to have men and money on your side. Here, just give her a ten. She doesn't need money. What's with you! ? Why are you taking my money? What are you doing here? He shouldn't be giving her money. She doesn't need money! Please, goodbye, and thank you. Here comes another one. That was Nora and the Pope dancers! Now, ladies and gentlemen... And now, yet another dream comes true. - It's finally here! What we've all been waiting for. Brand new and just for us! Written and presented by Alfons Harmann. The 99 Euro Show! Toni, there is no show. You're joking right? That's a joke? ! Yes. I forgot my glasses. I can't see the keyboard. Then get your glasses! God damn it! Now go! Sure, sure, ladies and gentlemen, of course you all want to see Nora again. Well, before we get started with the quiz show, here once again is Nora and the Pope dancers! Me again? Yes. Now what? It doesn't matter, just sing it again. Once again, from the top. Everything gets to the point where I just say stop. A lively hotel. It's dinner time. Everyone's dressed up. The first guests are taking their seats. And now we're going to the cafeteria. If I were him I would do the same thing. What's going on here? We're having a going-away party. It's probably for the best. What? That your brother takes a vacation. Right? You look great! Really great! You think so? Sure! Anything else? The family is falling apart right in front of my eyes. He's only going on vacation. Yes I know. But for me, vacations always took years. Oh god! I'm getting cold, kids. Here he comes. Well, there will always be a place for you here. At least, as long as I'm here. Hey, I've heard someone wants a ride. What's all this here, god damn it! ? Your theory was right. Those were kids from the tattoo shop. What? You want to know what I think? No! A suspect is fleeing over there. And you're having a relationship with the other suspect. Is it clear what you're doing here? No, cancel the whole operation! Conflict of interest, aiding and abetting, disciplinary action. Are you stupid! ? Franz, man! - They sure can sing. Russian, Polish, I've got no idea. Everybody's having a good time. How did he get this off the wall? I think the girls will hold out for quite a while. Let's do "Russian Nights" then. We could do whatever we want. They're really good! Good then, we'll have "Russian nights". It doesn't exist? There is no quiz show. But you showed it to me? That was just a starting point. The starting point was good. What a night! If you ask me, I personally prefer classical music. You've been pouring the beer really well lately. Lately? I'm serious. I'm heading out. Then of course there are the fjords. Wasn't that Norway? They're everywhere up there. Everywhere? Everywhere. It's all one big fjord up there, if you ask me. Green, green, green. And water. Really. You can believe it. Lucy, I just need five minutes of your time for my new client. Oh, my gosh, she look ridiculous. I'M GAY! HOLLYWOOD HOOKUP! Hey, sweetie. Listen, Jessica wants you to print a retraction. - She's really... - Not now. Ok. So we'll talk about it... Yeah, that's good. Celebulimia? ! ? Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you. What's that, Harvey? No woman should leave their drink unattended in these troubled times, most of all you. You ever heard of Jatropha Curcas? - Your second wife? - No. It's a poisonous plant that grows in the tropics. Very difficult to detect, flavorless, and it kills in about 15 minutes. Do you have any idea of how many of these people would like to see you laying on the ground begging for somebody to call 911? Damien Fields, less than 20 feet away. You have pictures of him blowing some guy in Griffith Park. At least we shot his good side. Cara Valente. Expose' on her and her nanny. - Manny. - Right. Manny. And that time-lapse series on the hooker parade on and off my yacht. That was very clever. And very funny. Mondale and Ferraro, path to equality. No, thanks. What are you, a Republican? Oh, I'm sorry, did you catch it from your parents? I hear it's hereditary. I guess I did. Well, if you don't want a pamphlet, here, have a pin, on me. I might wear it, but only because it's stylish. You know, if you're not a pamphlet reader, I could take you to coffee tell you all about why Mondale and Ferraro are gonna lose. If you're so sure they're gonna lose, why bother? I don't know, it feels right. So... coffee? KIRSTEN: I guess I had fate on my mind when I got you this gift. Where on Earth did you find this? I turned the house upside down. If it hadn't been for Walter Mondale and Geraldine Ferraro, there never would have been a Seth Cohen. There wouldn't be a Ryan. And whoever this is going to be... All because of that one day. My lucky day. My lucky day. Okay, I admit it-- I put way too much stock into that poem. I'm not the girl that you thought I was. You're not. You, Summer, are better. See, back then you were just this fantasy. You were this little girl, who, when I would see, you would either ignore me, or make an obscene gesture and keep on walking. Yeah, I kind of remember that, sorry. But now look at you. You fight for sea otters. You've befriended Taylor Townsend. You're an incredible mom to that bunny. I guess I have changed. You've evolved. And over the last 950 days we've been dating... and, yes, I've counted, and yes, I counted the Zach era, because, really, who were we kidding? ...I've watched you grow into this incredible woman. And that is who I love. Thanks, Cohen. What's wrong? I met GEORGE. I'll kill him. This guy came by from GEORGE to recruit me. He heard about my work with the sea otters and invited me to travel across the country and talk to college kids about voting next November. What about Brown? I'd have to defer a year, live on a bus. Sounds like a great gig. I don't know that we could see each other. So you have to choose between me and GEORGE. That's the thing-- I don't know that I have to. I do believe that you are my destiny, I do, Seth. But I just don't know that you're my only destiny. Here. Happy Valentine's Day. Mm-hmm. I picked couples through time. Oh, and where are we? I was hoping that someday we could go in the middle. So can I tell you what Bullit's surprise is? I can't hold it any longer. Sure. His plane is sitting on the tarmac gassed up and ready to take you anywhere in the world. Mom, you're going to be spending Valentine's Day anywhere in the world that you want to go. I mean, that's pretty amazing. Yeah. Yeah, it really is. No. Mom... Squirt, where the heck's your mom? I know I asked you to be my stepdad. Do you mind being my friend instead? So Julie's had enough of the old Bullit, eh? We can still play ping-pong together. Come on. You know, I let you win. No, you don't. Yes, I do. In your dreams. You ever see that movie Casablanca? No. It goes like this: Peanut, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Come on, luck be a lady, luck be a lady. Oh! I can't believe this, I didn't win. Shocking. Well, if it's any consolation, though, this soft serv is outstanding. Would anyone like seconds? Yeah, I would. Yeah, me, too. Thank you. Sorry things didn't work out with you and Julie. Hey... I'm sitting here sharing ice cream with my kid. It's been a long time since I've done that. Tell me that's her. That's her. I'm suddenly nervous. You're going to be great. I'm having the strangest craving for a corn dog. There may be one left. Seat? How about that? Fourth quarter, Team Frank comes through in the clutch. Oh, yeah. True love on Valentine's Day. What more could you ask for? Yeah... Hey, uh, so, you know, we reserved the limo for another two hours. What do you say we drive down the beach? Uh, that sounds suspiciously like a Valentine's Day date to me. I don't know, that might make us break up. What if I said I had newfound faith? I would say I agree. I have newfound faith. I agree. Okay. Onward, Jeeves. Yes, yes, yes, to the beach. -=The Last Fantasy=- Proudly Presents I'm pregnant. What ? Previously on The O.C.: Sandy, we're having a baby. I just want you to find something that you really care about. I could be a critic. You mean spending your whole life watching movies and telling people how terrible they are ? You want to go rent An Inconvenient Truth ? So what'd you tell Frank ? I told him right now I need to be spending some time with my daughter. Well, let's put it all on the table. I love you and I don't want to lose you. Mom ! It's okay, it's just... It's an earthquake ! Get in there ! Mom ! Kirsten ? Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Ryan. Oh, my God. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. It's all right. Uh, okay, I'm going to count to three and you're going to get out of here, okay ? No, no, no, you're going to hurt yourself. Don't have a choice. All right, one, two, three. Okay, okay. Go. Go, go, go, go. Ryan ? Ryan ? Are you okay ? Yeah. Yeah. You ? Yeah. I'm fine, thanks to you. Hey, Ryan ? Mm-hmm. I'm sorry I was all,"Oh, my God, Oh, my God." 'Cause usually I'm very good in a crisis. But I just started thinking about if anything happened to you and I don't know what I would do. It's okay, we're both okay. It's just that grace under fire is a very important quality and I don't want you to think that I'm lacking in it, because we might encounter all sorts of crisis when we're away together, like, at college. Oh, my God, is that blood ? I faint at the sight of blood. Oh, no, no, no, it's just glitter. Taylor. I'm okay. All that stuff we put on the table just now, let's, uh, let's talk about it later, okay ? Right, yeah. That's probably a good idea, when, you know, the power's back on and we're not sitting in rubble. Um, I'm going to call Kirsten and Sandy. Where's my jacket ? Oh, gross. Sorry. You know, I've actually stockpiled some rudimentary supplies in case of, you know, the Apocalypse or whatever. I got all sorts of stuff in there. Got extra tennis shoes and flashlights and canned goods and... A space heater... I'm not... Hey... getting good reception here. I'm going to step out in the hall. Okay... Yes, Orange County, as you probably figured out, that was an earthquake. So far, no reports of fatalities, but power is out, cell lines are jammed and the roads are for emergency vehicles only. As more information comes in we'll relay it to you. So if you're safe, stay calm and stay put. So we got our marching orders and our staying put orders. So no one's to leave the plaza unless they have to. What are we going to do with everyone ? People are scared. They'll get hungry. And what about looters ? We just have to get organized. Also, keep the radio on and gather up anything you think might be useful... flashlights, blankets, water, batteries, you'll be fine. I can't get through to either of the boys. Well, keep trying. How about you ? We should get you to the hospital. I'm fine, it's just a bump on the head. Mine. Not his or hers. Hello. Ryan, where are you ? They're at the Cooper house with Taylor. Tell him to stay there. Okay. Just stay there, okay. All right. Seth ? Hey, Dad. Yeah, yeah, we're okay. I wish I could say the same for Ryan's car though. How's Mom ? Mm-hmm. And Ryan ? Ryan and Taylor are at your house. Yeah, sounds good, we'll do that. All right, take care. Found a flashlight. I can see that. Which is good, 'cause we can use it. We're going to have to get My dad thinks we should get off the streets. Why ? Did he hear something ? About aftershocks or looters or... Zombies ? I know, that was my first thought, too. But no, it's just a precaution. It's Ryan. Is everyone okay ? Yeah, we just have to make a little change of plans. Hmm ? * California, here we come * * Right back where we started from * * California... California... * Your dad said to go home. But I think we should all be together. This is a bad idea. We're almost there. No, we're not. It's just a few more minutes. Well, I know where my house is okay ? Look, I command you to stop this bike. I'm sorry, okay but I'm starting to get a little creeped out. Not that I don't want to play Pictionary by candlelight and raid Taylor's Apocalypse kit, but I think we should just go to your house. Okay, but I'm still awaiting on news of Pancakes. Pancakes ? You said Ryan said everyone was fine. I know, but I don't know that he included rodents in his head count, so I texted him to be sure. And ? And I'm still waiting on the reply. Maybe I should pedal. You look a little tired. Fine. Go ! Frank, hi, it's Julie. I hope you're okay. Caitlin and I are fine, I mean, we're trapped at the ice cream store on the pier, but we're fine. I guess help is probably on the way. Okay, well... take care, bye. Look, I understand why you keep on calling Summer and the Cohens, but why Frank ? I mean, weren't you guys supposed to take it down a notch ? Caitlin, just because we're pulling things back a little bit doesn't mean that we've stopped caring about each other. I'm sure wherever Frank is, he's worried about us, just like I am about him. And I am about myself, because we're stuck here with him. The back door is stuck, too. Looks like there's no way out. We're trapped. Figures. We can't just sit here waiting to be rescued. Totally. No, we should start eating all the melting ice cream. I want a gold medal ribbon on a... Sugar cone, I know. Creepy, but convenient. Okay, ice-cream guy, start scooping. It's Gary, my name. Okay. I'm thinking the roof, or where the roof used to be. Ice-cream guy, got a ladder ? You can't climb up there. I'm not going to, you are. And this is my personal safety device. It's a flashlight, it's a radio, it's a cell phone charger, it's a siren and it's a compass. Hmm. North is that way. Handy. Also got canned goods, batteries, water, ooh, a gas mask and-- that's right... North Korean currency, because you just never know. Hey, why are you wearing a jacket ? Are you cold ? Let me get my space blanket. It preserves up to 80% body heat. A bit of bad news just in. Our first fatality. Not a lot of information, a pedestrian hit by a downed power li... No reason to think its anyone we know. Yeah, of course not. Still, aren't families supposed to reach out to each other in times of uncertainty ? I know the phones are messed up, but you were able to get through to Sandy and he was able to get through to Seth. Uh, right, you're worried about your mom. Yeah. She gave birth to me. If I'm worried she may be hurt, then shouldn't she be worried about me ? I think we need to go over there and check on her. To her house ? Yes, Ryan. I know my mom is a total bitch, but she's still my mom, and she doesn't drink a lot of milk so her bones are probably very brittle and she's always been kind of scared of the dark... Taylor, Taylor, we can't go over there. Seth and Summer are coming over here. What ? Since when ? Since Seth texted me. He said that they were. I thought Sandy said it was safest for us to stay where we are. No, no, no, Sandy said that it's safer for all of us to be together. All right, folks, we got to remain calm and we got to remain here. Anyone in need of medical attention, please identify yourself to this gentleman, and everyone who is willing to help anyone who might need it, please come over and introduce yourself to me. The good news is, we got everything we need here. We got shelter, we got food, we got water. We got fine literature, chips and salsa, so if we all stay together, we can get through this no problem. All right ? This is like Berkeley 1989. Oh, you say that so warmly. Not that I'm fond of natural disasters, but there is nothing sexier than your husband calming an angry mob. Now, are you okay ? Yeah, I know I've been complaining about Newport a lot lately, but it just breaks my heart to see it like this. I'm going to pass these out. All right. Hello ? Oh, hey, Sandy, I'm glad I finally got a hold of you. Are you with Ryan ? Oh, no, Frank, but he's at the Cooper house with Taylor. He's fine, we're all fine. That's great news. And Julie and Caitlin, they're at the house too, right ? That I don't know. Do you have any idea where they might be ? I'm sorry, I don't, but I'm sure they're going to try to get in touch with you, and if I hear anything at all, I'll call you. I... yeah, yeah, thanks, Sandy. Great. Okay, Gary, how's it look up there ? Can you climb down and get some help ? Um... not really. Why not ? What's going on ? We're on an island, all alone. Look, we appreciate the imagery and all that, but this is no time for existential metaphors. No. Really. The pier's been washed out. Summer, you're okay ! I am so glad to see you. Hey, where's Ryan ? He's... Hey. Hey, Atwood. I got to look for Pancakes. Oh, my God ! Pancakes ! I'm gonna go with you. Great. While you guys do that, Ryan and I will, uh... Go. Yeah, we're gonna go. Where are you gonna go ? Yeah, we just got here. Well, we need supplies. I have supplies. No, I know, but, uh, who knows how long those will last. Yeah, and there'll probably be a run, especially when the zombies come out. Seth. Ryan. Look, guys, we'll be fine. Just stay here, lock the doors and don't open them. Summer, Pancakes needs you right now. Be careful. 'Kay, come back soon. Okay. What's up ? Don't you think the boys were acting weird ? The shifty looks, finishing each other's sentences like they're composing a lie on the spot ? Yes. Totally normal for them. I don't know, I feel like they're hiding something. If it's not the location of Pancakes, I'm not interested. Oh, no. He was in his cage. He's gone ! Oh, no. Pancakes ? Pancakes ? Okay, I didn't want to worry Taylor. She's pretty upset, and she's got this thing about blood. Blood ? Yeah. Don't freak, okay ? I-I-I need you to not freak. Okay. Why would I freak out ? It's not that bad, is it ? Dude, it's bad. Seth, the hospital is, like, a mile away. I know, which is why I'm taking the secret back roads way that's only a half mile. That was sarcasm. I'm pretty sure my shortcut got us lost. I'm sure you'll figure it out. That was sarcasm, too. Sorry. No, hey, so you're a little on edge. A giant glass spear in the back will do that to a guy. It's not a spear. What is it, more of a spike or a skewer ? Dude, you're doing a terrible job of trying to keep my mind off the pain. You're supposed to talk about something else, not the thing causing the pain. True, but the real question is, what are you doing to keep my mind off of your pain ? 'Cause right now you're not looking too good and I'm starting to feel... What was that ? Uh, seems like we hit something. Oh, God, not a body. All right, well, pull over or something. All right, go out and check, I guess. With the zombies ? * I used her * * She used me, but nobody cared * * We were getting our share * * Working on the night moves * * Uh, uh, uh * * Trying to lose those * * Awkward teenage blues * * Working on our night moves * * Mm, mm, mm * * In the summertime * * Mm, mm. * You guys are amazing. Uh, no. We're not. No. It's just something we do. I used to sing that to Kaitlin when she was little and scared. Isn't that, uh, kind of inappropriate ? I mean, given the sexual content of the lyrics. Well, it was the only song she knew all the words to. That and "Pour Some Sugar on Me." Ah. Well, this is really fun. Staying up late, eating sweets, singing songs. It's like summer camp. Coed summer camp with really hot camp counselors. No offense, Gary, but this is barely entertaining me. Yeah, Gary, young guy in Newport, cool job... you must have a lot of fun. Not really. No friends ? No girls ? Well... there is one girl. Oh, well, you only need one, as long as it's a good one. She's an amazing one. Well, are you guys serious ? Pretty serious. You know, thinking about taking it to the next level. Oh, the next level. That's very serious. Yeah, you haven't asked her out yet, have you ? Not yet, no. Well, what's the holdup ? I mean, if she's as hot as she sounds. It's not her. It's me. She's a great girl. And I'm... the ice cream guy. Oh, what the hell... we have nothing better to do. Yep, today is your lucky day. Awesome ! I mean, wait, what do you mean ? Well, first, we have to get rid of that dorky bow tie. Yeah, and an apron is friend to no man. Surely we can do something with this hair. I think I have some nail scissors in my purse, hmm ? I can't get anyone on the phone. Eh, that's okay, I'll, uh, I'll walk you through it. Just open up the back door. It's easy, don't worry about it. Ryan, you're asking me to use tools and exert myself physically. I think we both know where this is going. Yeah, okay, well, uh, start by putting the jack under the frame by the, uh, by the door there. Yeah. The jack is this thing with the handle, right ? Yeah. Actually, wait. First, um... loosen the bolts with that wrench. All right. There we go. Okay. All right, you may find this hard to believe, Ryan, but when I was younger, I used to be a bit of a worrier. You don't say. To distract myself from worrying, I would sometimes make lists. Didn't matter what the lists were. They could be anything... every cereal I've ever eaten, or... uh, the names of every planet mentioned in Star Wars. Whatever.Anyways... You want to make a list, Seth ? Huh ? Oh, yeah, whatever. I mean, sure, if you want to. We could start with everyone you've ever punched in the face since moving to Newport. First would be... Luke at Holly's beach house. Yeah, and number two would be Luke. Right. At the diner. Yeah, and again at the mall. What about Holly's dad at Cotillion ? That was more of a tackle. Which takes us back to Luke. Yeah, in T.J. Summer, do you really think Pancakes is in the attic ? Like he pulled down the ladder, hopped up and-and then put it away ? Hmm. Well, we have checked everywhere else. Light. Be careful. Oh... gross. It's okay. What is that ? That's Uncle Alistair. That's your uncle ? Yeah. No. It's, uh, my dad's skeleton from med school. He called him Uncle Alistair. I don't know why. God, well, I don't want to meet any of your other relatives, so let's just find Pancakes and go. Okay. Pancakes. Pancakes. Don't be afraid. It's just me. Summer, you're such a good mother. Thanks. When I think of the lengths that you're going to to save your adopted rabbit son, and my own mother can't even pick up the phone and send me a text message saying, "Hi. Are you alive ?" That's okay... you have us now. Seth and I rode on a bicycle just so we could be here together, and Julie and Kaitlin left a message and the Cohens asked about you. Yeah, I know... you're right. You know, if there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's you make your own family. It seems to me that you've scraped together quite an awesome one. Wait. What ? You hear that ? Where ? In the vent. It's Pancakes. Pancakes ? Pancakes ? Here. Pancakes ? Pancakes ? Um, stay there, Pancakes. Let's pry this open. Okay. Pancakes ? There he is ! Come on ! Good boy ! Hey. Come on. It's an aftershock... it'll stop in a second. Pancakes ! Oh, my God. Kirsten ? Kirsten ? Over here, Mr. Cohen. Sandy. Something is not right. Nothing works. It's like an information blackout. Well, the aftershock probably took out a power line or something. So listen, I'm going to go on foot and get help, I think. No, no, no. Well, we can't stay here. I don't even know where here is. Well, I'm going with you. No, it's cool. Listen, I'm going to come back as soon as I can. Promise. What about the zombies ? That's a really good point. Okay. All right, buddy. We have to keep you alert and on your feet. Now, when last we checked the list... Need some help ? Yeah. ...we were on Trey. Mm-hmm. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe we went from Trey to a lengthy Volchok period. Hey, thanks for this. Yeah. Now, unless you hit that Chili guy... or Johnny... I know a lot of people were rooting for that. Well, I did punch Johnny's dad. Or a bounty hunter who worked for him. Johnny's dad was a bounty hunter ? Oh, yeah. I never told you that ? Excuse me, Doctor. My wife needs to see someone right away. What happened ? I fell down some stairs. You break anything ? I don't think so, but... She needs help. Everyone here needs help, sir. You can fill out this form and wait your turn. She's pregnant. Any bleeding ? No, but something isn't... isn't right. I'm sorry. Try to make yourself comfortable. Hang on a second. Sandy... Hang on one second, all right ? I'll be right back. Excuse me, Doctor. My wife would never complain. She would never put her needs in front of anybody else's. But I am not that proud. I am not that selfless. I am begging you, please, please, to give her and our baby priority. I'd like to help, really, but... You can have my spot. Richard White. That's me. Go. Thank you. Honey. Oh, great. We're out of candles, and now the ice cream is melted. Honey, please. Stop worrying. Stop worrying ? We're about to be washed out to sea. I'm sorry. You're right. I'm... I'm right ? I thought I was exaggerating. I'm going up there. To do what ? To go swim out to shore ? I don't know. Assess the situation... figure it out. I'm your mother. It's my job. Wait. You can't do that. Why not ? Because... I'm having an asthma attack... from the stress ! Oh, my... Oh, my God. Do you have an inhaler ? Or like an Epi pen ? I could stab you. Maybe... we could just... sing "Night Moves" ? I think it might calm me. Really ? Please. Uh.. uh... uh... * Little too tall, could have used a few pounds * * She was a black-haired beauty with big dark eyes * That's good. That's good. That's good. * Working on the night moves * Okay, I think he needs, like, CPR or something. I learned this when I was in Junior Lifeguard. * Trying to lose them awkward teenage blues * Oh ! Gross ! He tried to kiss me ! I'm sorry. Young man, what is going on ? Oh, my. The girl you like ? Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Pancakes ! I think I hear something this way. Summer, how come we keep looking for Pancakes when there's a giant elephant in the room ? We walk around the elephant. It may be big, but we are crafty. The boys should have been back over an hour ago. Aren't you worried ? No, I'm not worried. I'm freaking terrified, okay ? That's why I'm focusing on just finding Pancakes and not about the fact that my boyfriend could be laying on the side of the road ravaged by zombies. Okay, well, let's go look for them. In what ? They took the only car. Have you thought of that ? Well, let's listen to the radio and see if there's any news. The radio stopped working with the aftershock. What was that ? Pancakes ? Maybe it was Ryan and Seth. Why would they need to break a window ? I don't know. What do we do ? Quick, hide ! Shh ! No, no, no. Summer, wait. I've got a better idea. Summer, come here. Shh ! You received a makeover under false pretenses. You lied about having asthma. Do you even like Bob Seger ? I'm sorry. I don't know why I did it. I mean, I do know, but I'm embarrassed. Kaitlin, you come in here all the time, and you look right through me like I don't even exist. I'm sorry. Don't be. I mean, why would a girl like you pay any attention to a guy like me ? I know the only reason you'd ever get to know me is if you had no choice. Tonight, that happened, and it felt like fate. I didn't want it to end. I guess, I mean, that's understandable. But what do you mean, you didn't want it to end ? What the... ? Mom... It's okay. Frank ! Just got your message. I was so worried. Oh, me, too ! Go for it. There was a flipping earthquake. But wait. How did you get here ? What about the pier ? What about it ? The pier is fine. There's a heartbeat. Thank God. The baby is under stress and, after a fall, there can be a rupture. Separation. Can you treat that ? We still have some more tests to run. Okay, I've always wondered this. In your opinion, who is a better food industry server ? Chloe, the magical waitress Chloe from Albuquerque, or Donny, the angry busboy who shot Luke ? I'll go with Chloe on that one. Good. That's what I figured. That's what I figured. Okay. Okay. Desert island. Sadie, the tough as nails yet soulful jewelry maker or Lindsay, my grandfather's illegitimate, bookish love child ? I can't, Seth. Sure... sure you can. It's very easy. Go on. Just go. I'm not going to go alone. We need help, man. I need help. Just sit me down, okay ? All right. Okay, but I'm going to come right back. I know. Do you hear that ? No. Exactly. It's quiet now. Maybe they moved on. Or... maybe they're just faking us out. There we go. Locked and loaded. Just how mama likes it. Taylor, a gun ? Where did you get that ? Are you crazy ? It's Jimmy Cooper's flare gun. I found it in the hall closet when I was looking for rain gear. Yeah, but it's not raining. Well, this was last November. What ? Jimmy doesn't need it anymore, and it's cold, and it's shiny, and it feels so good in my... Here. You try it. Eww ! I'm not touching your pistol. That is stupid and dangerous. Oh, my God. Go 187 on that zombie ass. It's in the kitchen. Follow me. Stop or I'll shoot ! Oh, my God ! I've been hit ! Mom ? Taylor... you shot me ! sorry I came here because I was worried about you. I know, Mom, and it really means a lot to me that you did. Save it... that's the last maternal instinct I'll ever have, since you shot me. It was just a toe nick. You're totally fine. Until sandal season ! Taylor, I'm going to have to see a plastic surgeon right away. I already told you, there's no way to get you to the hospital. You're just going to have to tough it out ! Pancakes is hurt ! What ? Oh, no ! A rabbit ? I found him in the garage, and he was limping. Let me see. Careful. Baby, come here. Let me see. You know, he seems like he's okay. Maybe it's just a sprain. No, I can't take a chance, okay ? I have to go get him help. Summer, you can't. It's too dangerous. I cannot wait here any longer, okay ? I have a missing boyfriend and a sick rabbit. I cannot listen to any more of your mother's whining. Okay, I'll go with you. We'll brave the zombies together. Mom, we're going to need to take Pancakes to the hospital. Wait. This carrion gets help, but not me ? We don't have a car, you can't walk. There is no way to get you there. Taylor, I risked my life and hoofed it all the way from Emerald Bay, and you're just going to leave me here to rot ? I have an idea, but I don't think you're going to like it. This is not okay with me. Well, I told you you wouldn't like it. Mom, it's not that far to the hospital, and it's kind of this or nothing. Fine, but I'm not holding the rabbit... unless you promise I can make a vest out of him. Okay. I'll carry Pancakes. Caitlin, if you'll just listen... I heard you, you're sorry. I get it. Truthfully, I'm not sorry. Tonight was the best night of my life. Gary... Given the chance, I'd do everything exactly the same. Caitlin, honey, you coming ? Oh, yeah, just give me one second. Okay, we'll wait for you in the car. Look, I should go. But I am into ice cream, and you're obviously hooked up as far as that goes. And the makeover was pretty successful. And the asthma attack had me completely fooled. Sweet. So I guess once you guys get this place back up and running, I'll come stop by. Gold Medal Ribbon on the house. Best... earthquake... ever. Dr. Harris, are those my wife's tests ? Oh, no, Mr. Cohen, it's going to be awhile before we get the results. Oh, of course, it's just a little bit too soon for that. I know you have your hands full. Yes, we have a pretty full house right now. Well, as soon as you know anything, you know, good or bad... if you could please let me know. I will, of course. Let me know first, just so I can prepare my wife. Of course. Thank you. I mean, it's kind of crazy in that we have two other boys that are just going off to college, so we were expecting to have an empty nest, you know, when then, all of a sudden, this unplanned, miraculous event and, well, uh, the fact of the matter is, I can't imagine anything worse than an empty nest, so, uh... Anything you can do for that, uh, for that little baby, please, do it. I'll get out of your hair right now, okay ? I'll come find you. I'll be right there, all right ? Okay. Thank you. Yes, of course. You feel that ? Darryl ? Hey, Seth. How's the earthquake treating you ? Uh, not too well. I need to ask for your help. Sure, but how can I help you ? Well, I'm guessing you don't have a, uh, like, a car or a walkie-talkie ? This shopping cart's my only worldly possession. Okay, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you for it. Sorry, no way. I'll give you my pants. No, no, they look better on you. Listen. It has a flat tire and possibly a broken axle, but it's a $70,000 car and it's all yours in exchange for the cart. Sweet. Stay here, I'll come back to draw you a map. Because... it's a rabbit. It's a he, and I'm aware of his species. but that doesn't mean that he doesn't feel pain and that he isn't hurt. Please, if you have a shred of humanity, or animality in your body, you won't deprive this poor, little, adorable bunny of quality medical care. Well, I did do a year of veterinarian school. Really ? Maybe if there's an X-ray machine free, I'll... Thank you. Thank you. I still can't believe that guy kept us there for no reason. I don't know. I think his reasons are pretty good. When a guy gets around a girl he's crazy about, sometimes reason goes out the window. He forgets to take things slow. Well, sometimes, when a girl gets around a guy she's not too crazy about, she does some pretty stupid things, too. I'm sorry for posting your mug shot up in the ladies' room at Taylor's birthday. Well, it showed a lot of creativity. Speaking of creativity, Caitlin... clown porn ? I'm not even going to ask where that came from. I found it in Dr. Robert's study. You guys will believe absolutely anything. Hey, Frank, have you ever considered cutting your hair ? Is that Seth ? Oh, my God, pull over. Mom, I'm really sorry I shot you. I know we don't always get along, but... I really love you. I love you, too. I... don't think I've ever heard you say that before. Taylor, that's why I went to Julie's. After the earthquake happened, all I could think about was you. Oh, my God, Mom, me, too. I was shot because I was such a total failure as a mother. It never even occurred to you that I would come looking for you. But you did. So... So. Mom... Hi. I guess this is the point where I'm supposed to tell you that you gave us all quite a scare, except I was never scared. Oh, yeah, I know that. Me, on the other hand... The doctors say you're going to be fine. Although you're going to have to wrap your head around the fact that we're really brothers now. We're blood brothers. You donated blood ? Ah, I had an extra few pints flowing through my veins. It was no big deal. Hmm. You're not a big fan of needles. Nor of fainting, it turns out. But the bank was a little low and us O-negative guys got to stick together. Hmm. That's weird, 'cause all of a sudden I have this strange urge to listen to Death Cab and read comic books. Really ? No, I'm kidding. Oh, that's too bad, 'cause if we could have turned this into a body-swap comedy, we could have squeezed another year or two out of this. Mm. So listen, I don't know if I've said this at all today, but... You did. But after all the times you've saved me, I was up, so... All right. Where's everyone else ? How are, how are the girls ? Kirsten, Sandy ? Uh, the girls are fine. Veronica Townsend and Pancakes, however, have matching casts. And Frank is here with Julie and Caitlin. He gave me a ride, brought you here. Um, but my mom and dad are doing some tests with the doctor, 'cause she fell. Is it bad ? Hey, boys. Mom. Hey. I'm so sorry. Everything's fine. ` The baby's okay. She's okay. She ? It's a girl. Sweet. Cool. Well, looks like the old girl held up pretty good. I can't wait to have a hot shower with the hot water we don't have. I'll settle for sleeping in my own bed. Or sleeping anywhere. Come on, I'll fire up the grill, we'll get the camp stove going... it'll be fun. Caleb is going to be indicted. I don't know when. - Oh, my God, the yard guy? - Yeah, I know. What was I supposed to do, wait for you? You weren't coming back. I wanted you to tell me the truth. - Who's your favorite writer? - Bendis. Well, hot damn, welcome to the club. - I love that guy. - You're not the only one. - You had me three months ago, and you left. - I want to make that up to you. This has nothing to do with me. It is about you, and it is always about you. - Put your hands behind your head. - Don't say anything. I'll follow you to the station. Do you think I did the right thing... cutting my hair? I can't believe this about your grandfather. He's in big trouble. Yeah, I know, with the creek and the no paddle. Damn Oregonian barbers, man, making my head too small for my body. - How do you work with this mirror? - Grandpa, front page, jail? - I was in that photo. I got cut out, though, ... probably 'cause of my hairdo. - Sorry to see you're so upset. - I'll survive. It'll grow out. - I'm talking about Caleb. Looks like someone was way off base. Accusing you of making everything about you. - My God, she is right. - I was just kidding, man. No, dude, here I am, going on and on about my haircut. My grandfather's in the cooler. I'm like a monster, dude. I'm all I think about, and not in a good way. - There's a good way? - Talk to me about anything other than me. Go, give me anything. - Ah, here it is. First day of A.P. Physics today. I'm kind of nervous. Ryan, could you quit fretting over your nerd gear for like five seconds? We have a real crisis on our hands, unless Summer's wrong, and I'm not completely insufferable. - Why didn't you just tell me, then? - It was kind of hard getting a word in. I mean, you're a good talker, but you're not so Summer's right then. I have to do, I have to change. I have to be a better person. Better how? Uh, less selfish. More selfless, less take, more give. - Less pitching, more catching. - Look, man, I'm used to it. You don't have to change for me. - Oh, I'm not changing for you. - For who then, Summer? Uh, no, no, uh, uh, I - I think for the greater good of man. There's no hidden agenda here, like say, getting Summer back? Dude, I don't even want Summer back. Unless... that is what she wants, in which case, that's not about me. That's about... me supporting her, and her wanting of, of, of me... But I think that's what she wants, okay? Just admit it... you want her back. No. No, I don't. - It's the new me, Ryan. World, wrap your head around the new Seth Cohen. - You're talking about yourself in the third person How is Seth's hair right now? - Oh, you can thank me later. - Thank you... for letting me sleep the night in jail. It was the most vile, most inhuman night of my life. Well, coming from the guy who married Julie Cooper, that's saying something. So, aside from coming up with your hilarious one-liners, what's our next move? My next move is to meet with the partners. Make sure they agree to my taking you on as a client. - Why wouldn't they? - You're not exactly the ideal client. - What... rich, powerful? - Guilty. - You missed the turn. - I'm not taking you to the office. Kirsten is meeting us at the house. - I have a business to run. - Who are you kidding? We both know, with the exception of the underhanded stuff, Kirsten does everything anyway. Step down. Put Kirsten in charge. That's your next move. Excuse me. - I'm new, um... is it all right to park here? - Sure, if you're not embarrassed. - Ryan, what would you like? - You buying? No, but I'm letting you order first. I may be selfless, but I'm still pretty stingy. - Well, in that case,uh, let's see. Can I have a... what, what do you got? - Large coffee. I just didn't want to keep him waiting. That'd be selfish. Iced coffee for me,please. What? There's a new club at the pier that the Walkmen are playing at. - You know who loves the Walkmen? - You? - Yeah, and... - Summer. - Summer is going out with Zach? Yeah, so maybe I'll buy her and Zach tickets to the show. - Why would you do that? - Out of friendship and to show her how selfless I can be. - And to get her back. - I'm going to look into this. - Seth, your coffee. - Oh, thanks a lot. I'll, uh, get you next time. - Oh, my God. I am so sorry. - That was refreshing. Uh, here, let me... - I... am so sorry. Are you okay? - Yeah, I have to, uh, get a rhinoplasty, but now I'll look just like all the other girls here. It's okay, really. Uh, you can leave my tampons where they are. Thanks. Is there anything I can do? Uh, well, I guess you could dislocate my shoulder, or shave off my eyebrows. I mean, is this how you guys treat all your new students,or is today just my lucky day? - Can I buy you a coffee? - No, no, no, no. Please, please don't. I've had plenty, thanks, and I'm guessing you have, too. I'm just going to ring out my shirt and stuff toilet paper up my nose, and I'm sure I'll have no trouble fitting in now. So, thanks. Dad, we have to think about the future here. The only way a company is going to survive a crisis like this is for the C.E.O. to step down. Face it, Caleb, it's time to get your Martha Stewart on. There's more police, more reporters, or angry stockholders. Julie, hi. Caleb. As soon as I saw the paper, I walked right out of my seaweed wrap, and I came right here. - That's a heartwarming tale. - A relaxing weekend at the Montage was exactly what I needed to remind me of what's important I know I haven't been there for you, sweetie. But you haven't been exactly honest with me. - Uh, we're going to.. - It was just getting good. All right. Honey... When Jimmy went down, our marriage fell apart. I do not want that to happen to us. We're partners, which means we share everything. So, put me to work. What can I do... talk to the press, make some calls? - Kirsten is taking care of all of that. - Well, she can't do everything. - Surely there's something I can do. - There is one thing, but... - Name it. - Food. - Since I'm going to be working from home, we're going to need some water, some coffee, some of those pumpkin muffins I like Thanks, JuJu. Kirsten, Sandy? Back to business. Is it just me, or is Zach perfect? He's good-looking, but not into himself, smart, but not a showoff. Athletic, but sensitive. A politician's son. Hey, he's like Newport's Prince William. - Yeah, the kind of guy parents love. - Hey, did I tell you how stoked my dad is that I'm dating a congressman's son? - He is, like, dying to go have lunch with Zach. - So, you going to do it? No way. Remember what a Grade A disaster that was with Cohen? - Yeah, but Zach's not Seth. - Believe me, I know. - So, then what's the problem? You afraid he might actually like Zach? Then you two will live happily ever after with no problems and nothing standing in your way? - No. I... no. - Oh, so, then you're not over Seth. Oh, I am. I've divested myself of all of Seth's material possessions. I'm vibrating at an extremely Cohenless frequency. - Okay, so, then you don't really like Zach. - No. I mean yes. I don't... Ew, shut up. Hey, Summer. Marissa. Hey. Come sit down. Oh, hey, Marissa, I was really sorry to read about your stepdad in the paper today. - You read the paper? - Just the L.A. Times, the New York Times, the Orange County Register and The Wall Street Journal. This relationship is probably over now, right? I'll just go. No, no, no. Stay. Um, actually, we were just talking, and um... What are you doing this weekend? You got to be kidding me. I know, I know. I'm sorry, but it's the only seat left. - Don't worry, I promise I'll keep my hands to myself. - Well, it's your elbow I'm worried about. - Why do you hate me so much? - No, I don't; I'm sorry. - What did I do? - It was an accident. - No, it was like four accidents. - Six, if you count each individual tampon. - I don't know what else you want me to say. - Nothing. In fact, we never need to speak to each other again. - Yeah, see, but I was really enjoying getting to know you. - Well, I wasn't. - I was being sarcastic. - I wasn't. Morning, guys. Your favorite physics teacher here, R.E. Greenberg, with your new lab partner assignments. We've got Adrianna Alberghetti with Philip Raskin. Ryan Atwood with Lindsay Gardner. Jennifer Anderson with Jamie Barber. - Ryan Atwood? - Lindsay Gardner. The Bait Shop? - Could be our very own CBGBs. - "CB" what? Oh, come on, what, the only music they had in Chino is the sounds of gunshots and helicopters? Oh, let's get the tickets. Hmm. Hello? Hello? Okay. Hi, excuse me. Uh, we're here about tickets. She's got headphones on. She can't hear you. Yeah, I can see that. Thanks. - Excuse me, ma'am. - Touch me again, I'll hurt you. - Okay, fine. What do you call this? - Thanks. - What do you want? - Tickets for Friday's show. - Sold out. Sorry. - That's the last one. All set, Alex. - Awesome. - Thank you so much. Here are your tickets, and I threw in a couple extras. - Cool, thanks. - Uh, why does he get tickets? - Because he works here. - Well, if I work here, could I get tickets? - You don't work here. - What's that right there? - Oh, you... you wouldn't want that job. - No, sure I would. Sign me up. - Seth... - You don't want to know the pay, the hours, job description? - No, I'm good. - Minimum wage, long, uh, taking tickets, cleaning toilets, and the light preparation of fried foods. - I'll be sure and wash my hands between the last two. I have to ask Nat, the owner. But he's never here, so... - Perfect. - Okay, I'm Alex. You can start right now. If I don't fire you by the end of tonight, then come back tomorrow. - I have a mop, Ryan. - You've got a mop, bro. - So, you're doing all this for Summer? - Yeah, for her friendship. - Wow, you really are changing. - Yeah, I am. Changing urinal cakes, that's how committed Seth Cohen is, to the new Seth Cohen. Okay, now you're talking about yourself in, like, the fourth person. Well, it's a whole new dimension of selflessness, Ryan. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the urinals. I don't know where they are. Check out the new Ryan Atwood, studying at the breakfast table. - How are classes going? - Tough. Physics. - Oh, physics is tough. - It's not the work, it's the students. A student, to be exact. - My back. Personal growth is so painful. - My son, doing manual labor? I never thought I'd live to see the day. Hey, Mom. Check out this ironic twist of events. - Ryan is now a science nerd, I'm working a blue-collar job. - That's nice, honey. - Mom? - Oh, Seth, don't worry. Your grandfather's situation is very serious, but your father and I are handling it. Right. Grandpa. To tell you the truth, I haven't even like... um... - .. slept well the past couple nights, so concerned have I been for his well-being. - But everything is going to be okay? Right. - Right? - Right. And what, if Grandpa, like, he did have to go to some white-collar prison with tennis and TiVo, then...? - Don't worry, Seth, it won't affect you. - He wouldn't lose the company? - No. - What about the house? - Son. That's crazy talk. Everything's going to be fine. - I don't want you to worry, sweetie. - I'm not. - Because it's not going to be like it was with your father. I'm going to hold this family together. - Fine. Marissa, listen to me. I know that there's a lot of uncertainty in our lives right now, but I want you to believe me when I say that Caleb is not going to jail. Oh, well, that's a shame, 'cause if Caleb did go to jail, then you'd be out on the street, and I could go back to living with Dad. - So should we maybe exchange numbers or something? - For what? To work on our lab report. Oh, uh... no, I already turned it in. Don't worry, I put both our names on it. You'll get an "A." - Funny, I thought we were supposed to... - Yeah, I know, but, uh, here's the thing. The only reason why I transferred to Harbor was so I could load up on A.P. courses, get accepted into Yale early and never have to look at another cheerleader or water polo player ever again. - No offense. - Okay, I think you got the wrong idea about me. You think I'm stupid. God doesn't give with both hands, so... take the "A." Enjoy it. It's my treat. - Uh-huh. - Where are you going? - Mr. Greenberg? - Yes? That lab report Lindsay handed in, I'm afraid I'm not quite finished with it yet. Well, it looks perfect to me. - Nice work. You guys make a great team. - I didn't get a chance to contribute a whole lot to that report, I mean anything - Is this true? Lindsay? Look, guys, good science requires teamwork. Part of the assignment is working together. - If we had different partners. - I'm keeping you together, and giving you an additional assignment, which you'll do together Or fail, together. Oh, yeah, you're not stupid at all. Uh, a little help here. I think I'm going to have a hernia. I had a hernia when I was little once. I had to have an operation. Seth, can you...? ! Oh, oh, sorry, sorry. Okay. My leg just went numb. My legs went numb, but we're cool. That's okay, right? That's normal? - You are so out of your element. - No, I'm not. - What are you even doing here? - I need tickets. I'll do anything to get them. - What are you, like, a huge fan? - Yeah, of a certain prickly brunette named after my least favorite season. - You're doing this for a girl? - Well, to be clear, I'm actually getting the tickets for her and her boyfrien... Her boy... her friend that's a boy. - I'm showing her that I'm capable of thinking of somebody other than myself. - Huh, that's sweet. It's pathetic, but sweet. - Yeah, that's my niche... pathetic and sweet. Hmm. What? No. Mom! I don't know, maybe. Okay, I love you, too. And say hi to Daddy. What? How old are you? - Seventeen. - What? ! Really? You don't go to school? I used to. I got kicked out. Of Corona, Matre Day, and even Newport Union. After that, my parents had enough, said, "Go away, get a job, move out," which I did. I got my own studio on the numbered streets, and I work here, and I've never been happier. - Yeah? This is you happy? - Look, you barely earned these, but... Hey, right on. Thanks. Ah! All right, Summer's going to be very stoked. On-on the band. I hear they're really good live,and I think the best thing for our friendship, is like, a good, live, band. As a girl, I feel I should probably warn you, that this whole little game you're planning, she's gonna see right through it. Mr. Brubaker, I assure you that my father is innocent. I... no, he's not in the office, but... I'll have him call you. - I am so happy to see you. - Guess who no longer works for Partridge, Savage and Cann? - You quit? - Or got fired. Quit slash got fired. Lot of things were said. - None of them good. - What happened? Your father. They said as long as I was representing him, I wasn't working for them. It's Thursday night. No knocking until 9:00 p. m. Cohen! How did you get in here? Your stepmom, who's in unusually good spirits. - It's the Klonopin. - That'd explain that eye twitch. - Listen, I'm not going to stay long. - Actually, you can't stay at all. The Valley is on, so you should just... Right, no, I have something for you. - Well, unless it's a plutonium -fueled car to take me back to last year so I can never date you, I'm not interested. - Oh, okay, it's two tickets to The Walkmen tomorrow night. - I'm not going to a concert with you, ass. Hey, I'm not going, okay? Well, I am, actually, I'm going, but I'm not going to go with you. These are for you and Zach. - Me and Zach? - Yeah. - Is this a trick? - Nope, just, you know, wanted to do something nice for someone other than myself for a change. So hopefully, I don't know, we can all hang out, we can be friends. Friends. If you want. Anyways, enjoy the show. - Do you want this closed, or...? - Yeah. Thanks for letting me stay over, and thanks for breakfast. You finally learned how to make French toast, huh? Mm, anytime. Happy to have the company. - I know what you mean. - Yeah, what do you know about being lonely? Hmm. Well, let's see. My stepfather blackmailed me into living with my mom. My mom shipped my little sister off to boarding school, oh, and my boyfriend spent the entire summer with a girl, who may or may not have been pregnant with his child, - and now that he is back he won't talk to me thanks to D.J. - Who's D.J.? Doesn't even matter since he's not talking to me, either. Mariss, honey? You ready to go? I'm gonna go get my stuff. Back to the gulag. She knows I heard that. It's a little game we play. Mm-hmm. So how's Caleb? Fantastic, never better. - Facing prison, we could lose everything. - So you gonna divorce him and take his kids? No. And you think he'd be just a little bit grateful, show some appreciation for my personal growth. He only listens to Kirsten and Sandy. Well, the woman I married wouldn't stand for that. Nobody puts Julie Cooper in the corner. I don't know how this is happening again. - Maybe 'cause you keep marrying for money? - I did not marry for money. - Well, I didn't marry you for money. - No, you married me because you were pregnant. You married me because I was pregnant. I married you because I loved you. - Bye, Dad. - Bye, sweetheart. - Love you. - I love you, too. Back to the gulag. Oh, KE equals one half MB squared. So if gravity is the constant, and we plug in these velocities... - Ryan, what are you doing? - Trying to do the assignment. - Except you've already finished it. - If you flunk out of Harvard, you can spend the rest of your life floating in your paren - I need an academic scholarship, so... - Okay, what makes you think my parents have an infinity pool? I mean, they do, but they're not my parents. I transferred in from Chino last year. - I was just like you. - Really? You were assaulted by the Captain of the water polo team. Okay, first of all, I've never even seen a water polo game, match, whatever. Second of all, yeah, I was. Then I took a second to get to know the guy, and he turned out to be a pretty good friend. - Well, um, I'm not here to make friends. - Yeah, well, mission accomplished. - Look, clearly, this isn't working. - Clearly. So, let's just... Look, you do the first half of the assignment, then I'll go over it before I put it together with mine. - And I'll go over yours. - Fine. Then I guess we'll have to get together this weekend and go over it together. Sounds like the perfect way to spend the weekend. See ya. - The Bait Shop. Where is that exactly? - I don't know. - So where'd you get these from, then? - Uh, you know, uh, Cohen. - He gave them to you? - To us. Hmm. Why'd he do that? Um, well, he said he wants to be friends, that he's trying to change. Um, to be less Coheny and more like, well, a person. - Don't you think he might be trying that just to win you back? - No. - I mean no. - Okay, let's just say, hypothetically, Seth really is changing. Would that mean you'd want to get back together with him? - Well, hypothetically? - You know what? Don't answer. Just go to the concert alone. - Zach. - See Seth. No bickering, no bantering, just talk. As much as I like you, Summer, you need to figure this out with him. I need you to figure this out. Holy mack. You are, like, such an adult. I mean, you're not insecure, you're not jealous. Are you a robot? Huh? We had a great time over break, right? But if that's all it was supposed to be, and we've taken this as far as possible, just let me know. Okay? Okay. Do you think champagne is really necessary? Ooh. Absolutely. We need to toast to quitting, slash, getting fired. To independence. - You mean unemployment. - Oh, Dad, just think how much time Sandy will have to spend on your case. - Padding around the house in his black socks and his robe. I can't wait. - Cal, don't you have a toast to make, too? - No. Uh, it's all right. Um, too much champagne, I get giggly. - When have you ever been giggly? - Dad, what is it? Julie and I have been talking, and, uh, I've come to a decision. Tomorrow morning, I'm calling a press conference to announce that I'll be stepping down from The Newport Group and appointing - Oh, I'm glad you listened to reason. - Dad, wow. As of tomorrow morning, Julie will be the new Chief Executive Officer of the Newport Group. Who needs more champagne, hmm? - Hey, thanks. - Yup. - Any Summer sightings? - Oh, no, not yet. What if she doesn't show? What if, after all this, she never knows the blood and sweat and-and other people's pee that went in to getting her those tick Well, then you'd be happy for her 'cause you're her friend, right? Totally, yeah. Hey, you came. - Where's Zach? - Oh, um, he couldn't make it. - Oh, that's... That's real... that's too bad. Um, let me show you to your very V.I.P. seating. It's this way. - Hey. - Hey. I wasn't planning on coming here tonight. I'm here for Team Summer. I'm here for Team Seth. So, what do you think? - Seth and Summer... star-crossed lovers? - Or better off just friends. - Destined to be together? - Or just too dysfunctional together to make it work. - I guess only time will tell. - Yeah, I guess. You want to go in, watch the band? The last time we went to a concert, it, uh, didn't turn out too well. Things are different now. - Well, then, come on. You like this band? - I like Journey. Julie's waiting in the car. You and I are gonna talk later. Yes? - I'm not sure I want to talk to you. - Sandy. Kirsten is the one good thing in your life. How could you do this to her? After all she has done for you? - I have to think of my marriage. - What does Julie Cooper know about being the CEO. of a multimillion dollar company? - It's a figurehead position. You said so yourself. Kirsten will continue to run the show. - And work for Julie? Why the hell w - What do you suggest I do? - I suggest you find a way to make it up to Kirsten now. Unless you want Julie to be your lawyer, too. - Can you see okay? - Yeah, I can see fine. - There's no, like, obstructed views or anything, right? - Right. - Okay. I just know, sometimes at shows, you can't see so well, 'cause, you know, the tall people are standing. Yeah, right, you know, but now I'm just having a hard time hearing. - But, thanks for getting me a seat. - No problem. - Look, Cohen, I think we need to really talk. - Hey! There you are. Look, some guy just puked all over an amplifier, and... - - Why was that tattooed girl just telling you about vomit? - She's, uh... She's my boss. I actually work here now. - What? - Yeah. It was the only way I could get those tickets. - But why? - Well, I needed the tickets to show you that I could be selfless, and I needed to be selfless to get you to stop - Cohen, that was really sweet. - Pathetic and sweet? - No, just sweet. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, God. Oh. Come on, I'm sor... Summer, just wait a second. - You are unbelievable. - Not in a good way, right? - I thought you just wanted to be friends. - I do. - Oh, well, then what was that, that kiss? - I don't know. I didn't mean for it to happen. - Really? - Yeah. - So this whole night wasn't just a plan to get me back? - No, absolutely not. - Unless maybe that's what you want... - Cohen! - What? Come on! Just wait a second. - I believed you. How you were changing, that you just wanted to be friends. - I do! That's... Maybe I just... I can't be just friends with you. Well, then, I guess maybe this is it for us. I'm so tired right now. I - I didn't even sleep at all. - Oh, dude, the only thing holding my head up is my lungs. - Sorry, man. - I handled that Summer situation so wrong... I just... - I really shouldn't have returned her phone calls. - She never called you. - I should've dated other girls. - What other girls? Maybe if I'd played her hot and cold, right, mess with her mind a little bit, then I don't know. I think it potentially could - Look, man, I'm sorry, really, I am, and I would love to rehash the evening second by second one more time, but I'm late. - - Uh... I'm meeting my lab partner. I've got this physics assignment. - On a Saturday? - Ryan, the whole geek routine... it was really amusing at first, but I think you're taking things a little bit too far. - Thi - I just need to talk about me for, like, several more hours at least. - I thought you didn't do that anymore. No, that was the new Seth Cohen. I'm back, Ryan. Cohen Classic, red, white, and me, come on. Hang in there. I won't be gone long. - Did the light of dawn make any of this a little easier to take? - Harder, actually. - So what are you going to do? - I'll tell you this. - I'm not going back to the office. I may tolerate Julie as my stepmother, but I will not suffer the indignity of her being - Well, there's a concept. - Come on. you and me, a couple of bathrobes and black socks? - The thought of that is so... - Liberating. - Scary. - Forget the black socks. Barefoot, baby, barefoot. - I can't be unemployed. I-I can't even take a vacation for more than a we - A vacation with you is no vacation, what with the itineraries and the sightseeing. - I just... I can't have worked this hard I don't know. Can't quit. Can't go back there. Well, I don't know, either. What I do know is... I'm not the one you should be telling this to. - Hey. - Hey. - Seth. You're in my room. - Yeah. - How'd you get in here? - I, uh, took a left at the grotto, and I hopped the funicular to the dumbwaiter. This is a... nic - So, what are you doing in here? - Well, when I have a problem, Marissa, I like to talk about it incessantly. Yeah, no, that's it. I just think I burned out anyone else who will listen, so... - Is now a bad time? - I'm game. So... I think I really messed things up with Summer last night, hurt her pretty bad. - Yeah, you did. - Okay, not going to sugarcoat this one, huh? - Not for you. Look, if you really want to be her friend... then maybe you should think about just apologizing. - You know, say you were sorry. - Yeah, no, I know. - Sounds so simple when you say it. - I think that's a good place to start. Okay. Uh, do you happen to know where Summer is right now? I just have this thing that I've got to tell her. - Yeah, she's at the club having lunch with her dad. - Oh, yeah, her father. Cool, well, I'm just going to, you know... Whoa, Seth, you know what? Don't go there now. Just, uh, give her some space. Yeah, space, totally. I know. - Hey, do you know where Ryan is? - 'Cause we had fun last night, and I thought just maybe... - Ryan's actually at school doing - School? - I don't know. He's kind of a dork now. Thanks. - She's agreed to supervised visitation, 20 minutes max. - She's my daughter, Sandy. I don't need to be supervised. I'm supervising her. I'm afraid she might kill you. - I'm sorry. About yesterday. - So that's it? No second thoughts? You're not going to change your mind? - It's what I have to do, Kiki, for Julie... to save our marriage. - Who is going to save the company? - You. That's why I'm appointing you Newport Group's Chief Financial Officer. 'Cause we all know whoever controls the money controls t - Really. Does Julie know that? - She'll find out. - I don't know. - Come on, Kiki. The company needs you. The family needs you. I need you. Julie will get bored after a day, anyway. Want to go to a cardio bar, fashion island... Do I get a raise? - So, um... I appreciate what you're trying to do with the... - Okay, I'm reading here. - Oh, uh, take your time. - I just wanted to let you know that you didn't do a bad job. - Your work isn't terrible, either. A little rushed, maybe. So, I've been thinking. Um... I owe you an apology. Well, several, actually. You have to actually say the words. That's kind of how it works. I would like to extend... to you a formal acknowledgment that I... may have, um, unintentionally... I'm sorry. Me, too. I'm sorry. - I-I'm sorry about the coffee and the... black eye and the... tampons. - Well, you can see why I thought you were intellectually I'm just... I'm really glad that you're not. - Your, uh, penmanship, however... - Hey, what's wrong with my penmanship? - Nothing, just... Just, next time, don't hold the pen between your toes. Oh, well, um, next time, don't spell "canceling" with two L's. Yeah, that's wrong. You want to... you want to fix that? - I... I was using the Canadian spelling. - Oh, you're using the Canadian spelling, eh? - Hi. I'm looking for, uh, Roberts, table for two? - We've got Roberts for three. - Okay. Yeah. - Hey. - Hey. If someone would've told me last year that you and I would be the two loneliest people in Newport, I wouldn't have believed ' Well... at least not the you part. -I'm pregnant. -What? -Previously on The O.C.: -We're having a baby. -Find something you care about. -I could be a critic. Spending your whole life watching terrible movies? -Wanna rent An Inconvenient Truth? -What'd you tell Frank? I told him that right now, I need to be spending some time with my daughter. So let's put it all on the table. I love you, and I don't wanna lose you. -Mom! -It's okay, it's just- - Just an earthquake! Get in. Kirsten! -Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Ryan. -It's okay, it's okay. It's all right. All right. Okay, I'm gonna count to three, and you're gonna get out of here, okay? -No, you're gonna hurt yourself. -Don't have a choice. One... -Okay, okay. -...two, three. Now go, go, go. Ryan? Ryan, are you okay? Yeah, yeah. -You? -Yeah. I'm fine, thanks to you. Hey, Ryan. Sorry I was all, "Oh, my God," because usually, I'm very good in a crisis. But I started thinking about if anything happened to you. -I don't know what I'd do. -It's okay. We're both okay. Grace under fire is important. I don't want you to think I'm lacking in it. We might encounter all sorts of crises when we're away together at college or-- Oh, my God. Is that blood? I faint at the sight of blood. -Oh, no, no, no. It's just glitter. Okay. -Taylor. Taylor. All that stuff we put on the table just now? Let's talk about it later, okay? Right, yeah. That's probably a good idea. When the power's back on and we're not sitting in rubble. I'm gonna call Kirsten and Sandy. Where's my jacket? Gross. Sorry. You know, I've actually stockpiled some rudimentary supplies in case of, you know, the apocalypse or whatever. Got all sorts of stuff in there. Got extra tennis shoes and flashlights and canned goods. A space heater. -And an extra pair of.... -I'm not-- Hey, couldn't get reception in here. I'm gonna step out in the hall. Okay. Okay. Yes, Orange County, as you've probably figured out, that was an earthquake. So far, no reports of fatalities. But power is out, cell lines are jammed and the roads are for emergency vehicles only. As more information comes in, we 'll relay it to you. So if you're safe, stay calm and stay put. So we got our marching orders, or our staying-put orders. So no one' s to leave the plaza unless they have to. What are we gonna do with everyone? People are scared. They'll get hungry. -What about looters? -We just have to get organized. So keep the radio on, gather up anything you think might be useful. Flashlights, blankets, water, batteries. You'll be fine. Yeah. -I can't reach either of the boys. -Keep trying. How about you? -We should get you to the hospital. -I'm fine. It's just a bump on the head. Mine. Not his or hers. Hello? Ryan, where are you? -They're at the Cooper house with Taylor. -Tell him to stay there. Just stay there, okay? -Seth. -Hey, Dad. Yeah, yeah. We're okay. I wish I could say the same for Ryan's car, though. How's Mom? And Ryan? Ryan and Taylor are at your house. Yeah, it sounds good. We'll do that. All right, take care. -Found a flashlight. -I can see. Good. We can use it. We'll have to get back. My dad thinks we should get off the streets. Why? He hear something? About aftershocks or looters--? Zombies? That was my first thought too. But, no, it's just a precaution. -It's Ryan. -ls everyone okay? Yeah, we just have to make a little change of plans. -Your dad said to go home. -I think we should all be together. -This is a bad idea. -We're almost there. -No, we're not. -Just a few more minutes. What is it, honey? I can't get Barbie into her dress. Well, she can wait a minute, don't you think? No, she needs you right now! (NlNA whining) She can't bang on that xylophone thing when I'm working. That is so true. Here, all yours. I'm making dinner, can you just manage with Nina for 20 minutes? I've got a deadline, okay? connie: Barbie's going to be late. What is she late for, angel? Her party, she's going to be late, she's going to miss everything. (singing) I see the moon and the moon sees me And the moon sees somebody I'd want to see God bless the moon, and God bless me And God bless the somebody I'd want to see God looked down from up above And he picked you out for me to love He picked you out from all the rest 'Cause he knew that I loved you the very best I see the moon and the moon sees me And the moon sees somebody I'd want to see God bless the moon and God bless me And God bless the somebody I'd want to see Good morning. Hey. Sit down. Thanks. Guess what. What? I'm pregnant. You're kidding. Never more serious. Wow. Oh, uh... Are you happy? Yeah! Are you happy? I think so. Yeah, I think I am. Sit down. Should you sit down? I'm only two months along, I'm fine. Oh, my God. A baby. We're going to have a baby. Which, frankly, scares the hell out of me. It'll be great. Yeah. I'm sure it will, at times. And at times I'm sure I'll be exhausted and angry and think I've made a total mess of my life. I'll be there. You will, won't you? Even if I get confused and strange and horrible. Yeah, I'll do my best. I will, too. Connie, we're gonna have a baby. I know. That's great. LUC: I'm... (STAMMERlNG) I'm going to be a father! You're going to be an aunt! (CONNlE laughing) Girls, I think you should come upstairs. I'll be right here. You will, won't you? Yeah. Yeah. That's good. That's very, very good. Commander. What is it? A group of people escaped the blockade. What? Who were they? We couldn't find out... Do you have any idea? I do. Some migrants probably just felt threatened. It's not worth the worry. Prince Daeso will be furious. Keep quiet. Yes, sir. Since you killed Jumong, I'll give you the reward I promised. One states your new title as a noble. The other states your new estate. Come on, take it. I'm honored. Bubunno. Yes? I'll appoint you as Vice Commander. Help Naro prepare for the war. You're familiar with Jolbon... so organize the spies and think of ways to strike the enemy. I will. Eupru is a few hours away. A man named Buwiyum is head of the pirates now. But we don't know where he lives or what he looks like. Gosh, I'd rather look for a needle in a haystack. Commander, what should we do now? Do you know your way around Eupru? This is Sanchun, Magok and Geodu. I'm sure the pirates trade their loot. We should ask the merchants in the area. I've done business in Sanchun and Magok before. I'm sure they'll help us. I'll go to Magok with Oi, Mari and Hyupbo. You go to Sanchun with Jaesa, Mugol and Mukguh. (Sanchun) Do you know who Buwiyum is? Do you know who Buwiyum is? (Magok) See what's going on. Yes, sir. Commander. Oi. What's going on? Okjuh soldiers are gathering young men to wipe out the pirates. Then the pirates will be well-hidden. We've got our work cut out. Let's go into town for now. OK. Stop there! Let's go. Aren't they Sachooldo's Jega? They wouldn't be here unless it's something important. I heard Prince Daeso summoned them. Prime Minister. Do you have any idea what it's about? How have you been? I heard you're doing a good job in place of the late Maga. Thank you. I trust you will all help Puyo overcome this crisis. We will serve you with all our heart. Thank you. I'll give you a chance to do just that. I've summoned you all here to tell you to prepare for a war. A war? What war? I'm going to attack Jolbon. The King has already consented. He has delegated me his full authority. Don't you know the state we're in right now? The starving people are leaving Puyo. You can't start a war. Jolbon will collapse in due time. We should just sit back and watch. I agree. Jolbon is in a crisis but they're still very strong. Now that Jumong is dead, they're powerless. My assassin has killed Jumong. Jolbon won't admit to it yet... but Jumong didn't attend any of the meetings. He's dead for sure. If we attack right now, we can win. We haven't even paid our soldiers. We can't expect them to fight. We can't guarantee victory unless the men are motivated. You're right. I'll pay their outstanding salary and distribute food to the people. How will you do that when our finances are depleted? We can, if the nobles, ministers and the Jega pay for it. Your Highness, we haven't acquired much wealth. How can we pay for the war? We barely have enough to feed our families. Forcing the nobles to pay will only make them angry. Why go against the very foundation of Puyo? Our foundation is the people, not the nobles! The Foreign Minister and Tax Minister forced the people to pay their taxes... and the Court Minister conspired with merchants to gain great wealth. You've been acquiring wealth while we were faced with a crisis. Your Majesty, I'm offended. I never acquired wealth for my own self. Songju. I've already looked into how much property you all have. Those who give voluntarily and join our cause... will be compensated once we take over Jolbon. Those who disobey will be audited. If anyone is found to have accumulated dirty money... his fortune will be confiscated and his family will be killed. You asked for me? Sorceress Mauryung. Yes? We're preparing for a war with Jolbon. I want you to hand in everything that belongs to the Shrine. Your Highness. Whatever the circumstance, our property mustn't be touched. - It's for the gods... - Be quiet! I'm trying to save Puyo here because the gods aren't doing anything! If you refuse, I'll take it by force. It's hard to believe, but it's true. Jumong has disappeared, just like that. It's a pity I don't get to see you cry your heart out... but the pain will be unbearable when reality hits you. You asked for me, Your Majesty? I realized how loyal you are while examining the ministers' assets. You've served three Kings yet you barely have enough to eat. Let me apologize for being hostile towards you. I should've known better. We'll get through this together and make Puyo a stronger nation. The King has bestowed you with silver and food. Thank you, Your Majesty, but I can take care of my family. Don't mind us. No. Please accept it. I'm more than honored, Your Majesty. Your Majesty. What is it? Lady Yuhwa requests your audience. A terrible rumor about Jumong is spreading through the Palace. Have you heard it? Have you? I think something bad has happened to Jumong. Something bad? What's that? From what I've heard... I think Jumong is dead. Yuhwa. I don't buy it. But if you say so, I'll gladly check his corpse. I'll let go of all the hard feelings if you let me and Yesoya leave. Yuhwa. You won't need hostages now thatJumong's dead. Let us go. I can't. Your Majesty. Jolbon will turn into a battlefield the minute the Han and Puyo attack. If you go now, I can't guarantee your safety. I know how you feel but I can't send you to your death. Do you really know how I feel? Do you know what it feels like to hear of your son's death? I'm just as sad as you are. I tried to sever my ties with him but he's still my son. I'll protect you and Yesoya. I'll raise Yuri to make up for it. If you really thought of Jumong as your son... then you wouldn't dare wage war against the Damul Army. Please. Stop deceiving yourself. You say you're protecting me, but you're making my life a living hell. Let me ask you one last time. Let us go. You can call me an obsessed hypocrite if you want... but I can't let you go. You never loved me back. I thought things would get better if I held onto your empty glances... but you never thought of me the way I cherished you. If I can't have your heart, then I'll keep your body at least. You'll stay with me until I die. (Downtown Magok) How did it go? I found a merchant who trades with Puyo. He's at the tavern. Let's go. I work for Sosuhno. You want to buy seal fur? Yes. You're late. Mr. Oh from Haengin bought all we have. I heard the pirates smuggle seal fur. I'll pay you handsomely. Let me meet Buwiyum, the pirate captain. You can't meet him unless he approaches you. Help me. That's him. Step back! I want to see your captain. I don't want to fight. Lead us to him. Mr. Yu in Magok sent them. They have a letter from him too. I'm Buwiyum. You want to trade with me? I'm disguised as a merchant... but I'm Jumong, Commander of the Damul Army. I came all the way here to make a deal. Jumong? I might be in hiding but I still know what's going on. Jumong can't leave Jolbon because of the blockade. Why would he come here? We have our reasons. Daesan. Yes? Bring me a big jar of wine. Yes, sir. Let's see if you are who you claim to be. Drink this. Drink up! Tie him to that tree. Yes, sir. I heard Jumong is a master archer. Shoot that target next to him. Don't just stand there. Hurry up! I don't like playing games. If you don't believe me, just kill me instead. If you're going to die anyway, shouldn't you die trying? I'll let you live if you hit the target. Commander! Shoot. You must be Okjuh soldiers. Kill them! Why won't you believe us? This is Commander Jumong! - He is! - Shut up! It's the army! We're under attack! Fight! (Buwiyum's hideout in Eupru) Follow me. You come this way. Sail south for hundreds of miles? It's the only way to get food to survive the embargo. I thank you for saving my life but I can't go on a suicide mission. No one sets sail now because of the wind. (Buwiyum, pirate captain) We'll die before we reach the south. I know it'll be difficult... but you've sailed the sea for decades. I risked my life to come here. Jolbon will collapse if I return with nothing. I can't let them down when all they want is to fight the Han. Help me. Very well. I'll sail south as you want, but... make me an offer we can't refuse. We have to do whatever we can to convince him. He knows the situation we're in. He won't go for just anything. What more does he want from us? It's hard to say. He holds the key to the deal. Take it away. Your Highness. If the King won't let me go... I'll join Jumong in death. He'll let you and Yuri go if I die. Your Highness. Your Majesty. You must stop Lady Yuhwa. She hasn't eaten for days. She might even die. How is she? She went on a hunger strike outside the King's chambers. She's been out in the cold for four days and nights. The wretched woman. She's trying to kill herself. The King is ignoring her. Now that Jumong is dead the King doesn't need a hostage. Why won't he let her go? He still wants to win her heart. Your Highness! Your Highness! - Your Highness! - Your Highness! Your Highness... - Your Highness! - Your Highness! Your Highness... Your Highness. Hurry up, take her to her chamber. Yes, sir. Your Highness, I'm here. How do you feel? You've gained consciousness but you'll die if you don't take this. Please drink some. I'm ready to die. I have nothing to fear. You're dismissed. I have something to tell you. I'm the assassin Prince Daeso sent to Jolbon. I told Prince Daeso that I'd killed the Commander... but he's not dead. Is Jumong really alive? I don't know why he's missing but he's alive for sure. The Commander told me to report his death... so I could save my family Prince Daeso was holding hostage. My family is safe now. I'll go to Jolbon sometime soon and serve the Commander. I'll think of a way to get you out. Please look after yourself. Hope you had a nice trip. Have a seat. I received your letter but I still can't believe it. Is Jumong really dead? He is. What a pity. I wanted to kill him myself. Once I take overJolbon... I'll offer his head to the Emperor and win back his trust. Do whatever you want. Thanks. The ministers wanted to attack Jolbon without your help... but instead, I shared a secret. Since we're in it together, you must do something for me. What is it? Feed my soldiers during the entire war. You can't expect us to feed them all. Prince Daeso killed Jumong, which weakened Jolbon. It's your turn to do something. The war will be short and you won't lose any men. You have nothing to lose. Very well. We'll provide your provisions. Governor. What is it? Mr. Hwang is here. Who's Mr. Hwang? A relative of the Emperor. He wants to replace me. I lost the Emperor's favor... because he badmouthed me. I didn't think I'd meet you here. Mr. Hwang. This is my brother, Prince Daeso. (Hwangjagyung, Han Emperor's relative) I've heard a lot about you. The Emperor heard about the alliance and was very impressed. Long time no see. Hope you had a nice trip. What brings you here? Your request for more provisions has upset the Emperor very much. He was so upset... I volunteered to come and offer some help. I'm here to help you out. Tell me whenever you need something. Thanks for the offer but I won't need your help. I'll organize a small feast for you. I hope you enjoy your stay. Very well. I'll sail south as you want, but... make me an offer we can't refuse. What are they doing? They're racking their brains but I think they're lost. How can he help Jolbon... when he can't even satisfy me? I'm off to see Buwiyum. Will you make an offer? Yes. Tell me what you have. Are you kidding me? ! I'm not kidding you. What I'm offering you can't be measured by wealth. I saw you leave the bodies of your men behind. They're on the run most of the time... and you can't even afford a funeral. Are you lecturing me? My father Commander Haemosu... fled from the Han during his lifetime and wasn't even buried after he died. But his dream, his mission, still lives on in our hearts. But what about your men who die in vain with no hope? This is what we'll call our nation once we overcome the embargo. "Koguryo" I'll give you and your men a chance to live and work with dignity. Don't throw your lives away. Help me build Koguryo, the brightest nation under the sun. Will you accept his offer? I'd love to escape the Okjuh army... but is it worth dying for? He's right. It's suicide to set sail at this time of year. What do you say? This is all my father left me. My father fought with the Damul Army under Commander Haemosu. Everyone in the hideout was killed after Haemosu was captured... but my mother and I barely escaped. I was shivering so my mother gave me my father's bloody clothes. We had to leave him behind, dead and naked. I'll never forget it. I refuse to live on as a criminal. I will serve you and make my father's dream come true. How did it go? Buwiyum has decided to serve me. Really? We don't have much time. We have to leave now. But Buwiyum's men aren't cut out to be merchants. What should we do? I'll... go with them. My Lady, the trip will be very rough. Everything will fall apart if something happens to you. I'll get what we need. Trust me. Let me go. I don't want to send you on such a rough journey. I'm afraid too. But whenever I'm scared... I'll think of you. Of how you lead the migrants. I won't die in vain. Don't worry. I'll come back... and help you realize your dream. You must get back and look after the people. This is a steel sword. It's the best there is. Even stronger than the Han's or Puyo's. You'll get to make these too. Mopalmo, Mopalmo... Mopalmo. Shh, I'm in the middle of a lesson. Forget the lesson. Come here for a minute. People are saying that the Commander is dead. I'm afraid all this might get out of hand. We knew this would happen but there's nothing we can do. It'll all blow over when the Commander returns. It's out of our hands. My goodness. We have to do something. The chiefs are having a meeting. A meeting? We're isolated because of Han and Puyo's embargo. And Puyo's preparing to attack us. I want to ask Commander Jumong what he plans to do about this. Call the Commander. You can't talk to him now. Why not? Is he really dead, like the people say? What are you talking about? The Commander isn't dead. Even Sosuhno has disappeared. Yuntabal. Tell us what's going on. Where's the Commander? I can't tell you. I can't trust you until I meet him. He's the one who failed to protect us against Puyo and the Han. We'll take matters into our own hands. Let's go. I'll talk to Songyang before attacking Jolbon. He'll want to avoid a war once he finds out Jumong is dead. We'll be ready to attack as soon as you return. ? ? Dante! Dante! I've gotta rest. I told you, you shouldn't have done that last hit, man. You've been doing too much lately. You're not doing enough, friend. I love the venom and the sweet venom loves me. Yeah, come on we got to go. The last night bus is in ten minutes. Don't touch me! Fine, sleep it off. I'll see you later. Sweet venom. Blood Ties S02E04 Bugged The reaper's influence has fallen over my sanctum. Sorry, the reaper? Oh, the grim...reaper. A dead body was found outside Lexia's club. My sweet angel, you read my mind. Death's hand touches us all but this boy's passing might doom the Underground. And the Underground is the name of your bar? The Underground's not a bar, it's more of a... Booze can for blood sucking wannabees? A sanctuary for children of the night, where they can congregate. At nine dollars a drink. I thought you said she was open to those who choose to live alternative lifestyles. She is. You are. Believe me. Okay, here's the part I don't understand. If he died in the alley, what exactly do you want me to investigate? I have enough problems with the city already. I don't need them trying to blame Dante's death on me. Is there any reason to believe your establishment might be connected to his death? My customers are like my children. I nurture them, like Coreen...my favorite. The most spiritual of the night breed. Okay I'll take the case. - My fee is... - $500 a day, plus expenses. What a sweet girl. Do you think she uses a forklift to g her hair that high? Before you start, Lexia's my friend. After Ian died, she was totally there for me. She doesn't really strike me as the warm, fuzzy type. You just don't know her. Lexia is guarded when dealing with mundanes. Mundanes? You know, normals, outsiders. You mean me. This is why you should let me work the case with you. Coreen, I don't even know if there is a case. And if there is, ever since I got these, half of my cases are a horror show. I don't want to drag you into it. Excuse me? I almost became a demon bride twice. I had my mouth stolen by a voodoo queen. I can handle anything that they throw at us. Oh, I'm sure we'll read that in the book of famous last words. The first thing you need to do is find out about the dead guy. I bet he's chalk full of clues. Did you just say 'chalk full of clues'? I'm in, right? I mean, Vicki, this is going to be so much fun. I don't know if I agree with your definition of fun, - but all right you can help. - Yes! Coreen, be still, no one likes a perky Goth. Gene Hansen is proving to be a bit of a conundrum. We know he was last seen alive at around 4 o'clock in the morning. But his physical condition belies that estimate. Oh! Looks like he's been dead a lot longer. Area's swarmed by something. Exactly what I was thinking. On areas not consumed by insects, I found blisters, hives and swelling. Anaphylactic shock? From insect bites? Anything could have triggered the allergic reaction. My cousin, if she even looks at a peanut? Blowfish. Well, these are insect bites, and that gets Lexia off the hook. Still, I mean that is one hell of a bee sting. We need to go to the Underground and find out what Gene Hansen was doing before he died. Oh? Underground? I have to go change. I can't go looking all corporate like this. Corporate. - Hello. - Hey. I got a case that's taking a tour through weirdsville. - You care to join? - I'm a little tied up at the moment. I got a dead... line to meet. Oh, all right, you don't have to explain yourself to me. - I've got a life. - I thought you were dead. I'm busy. - You're wearing that? - You're wearing that? Okay, this is strictly a fact-finding mission, - do you understand? - Right. We're here to find out what Gene Hansen was doing the night he died. I got it. If you suspect someone, don't accuse them. Don't let on that you suspect. Okay? Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. You come directly to me. - Do you understand? - Okay, okay, can we just go in now? All right. Wait, wait, wait. Don't you think we should go in separately? You don't think I fit in? Yeah, sure, narc. Okay, you take the customers. Don't let on that we know each other. What? So what are you serving? This is a private club. It's okay, Wynter. This is Vicki Nelson. She's doing some work for me. She'll have some questions for you. Please feel free to give her any assistance that she needs. Taking a walk on the dark side are we? Unfortunately, I live there. How long did you know Gene? Since eighth grade. Drama club. I never should have let him stay. I should have dragged him into that bus. It's not your fault. All that talk about death's sweet embrace. You know what? It's not sweet. It hurts. Did Gene have any allergies? I can ask his mother. Absinthe and wine are the only things Lexia drinks so it's all we serve. I've got to say I could go for a tequila every now and then, you know? And Gene Hansen, what was he drinking the night he died? Absinthe. Anything else? Not that I know of. Drugs? In a nightclub? Half the kids here are using. Did Lexia know that? She'd have to be blind not to. Yeah, she sure would. Now this is truly a surprise. I need your help, detective. I don't do parking tickets. It's not about parking tickets. Really? Well, you must want to know what to get Vicki for her birthday. You know what? Between you and me, she really loves kitten posters. This was a mistake. Hey, hey, Fitzroy, come on. Hey, come on. Tell me, what's going on? Somebody left a dead body on my doorstep. There's another vampire in this city. And it's just getting started. You moved the body. Are you out of your mind? Under the circumstances it made the most sense. No, you totally compromised the evidence. I preserved the body to the best of my ability. No, you should have called the police, that's what you should have done. And that's why I came to you. You know my life doesn't bear scrutiny. Isn't your job to serve and protect? Actually, I don't think that motto was meant to extend to the undead. There's another vampire out there, and this one is killing people. Detective... I need your help, unless you'd rather me handle this on my own. Okay. Fine, what's done is done. Let's just move on, shall we? What happened? This is what I know. The body appeared at my door around 9:00 p.m. She was already dead. The neck had been savaged and she was drained of all her blood. So...what? This is the vampire equivalent of a gift basket? It wasn't a present. Vampires are solitary predators. It's in our nature. It keeps us from over populating and depleting our hunting grounds. He wants my territory. - Does Vicki know about this? - No. And I don't want her to know. I've been targeted and that puts everyone who's close to me in danger. Oh, gee... Thanks for bringing me into this. Okay, if only one of you can work this town, how do I know I'm not going to like this other vampire more than you? Because I'm the devil you know, detective. Yes, you are. Okay. Two conditions. One, we find this thing, we put it down. I wouldn't have it any other way. - What's the second? - Full disclosure. I ask you something, you answer. I want to know what color your underwear is, you tell me. You got it? Red. Silk, actually. I'm not actually asking, Fitzroy. When do we start? As soon as somebody phones the police about a dead body. Got a quarter? I feel so bad for that Evan guy. He blames himself for Gene's death. Does he have reason to? Typical Friday night. Go train in from the burbs. Burger and a movie after the Underground. They must have up to something. Come on, you don't go out for a burger and wind up as the main course at an insect buffet. What are you thinking? Well, if it was an allergic reaction, then maybe it was something they took. Were they into drugs? No, didn't seem like the type. Yeah, people don't always seem like the type, that's why you have to ask. You think I screwed up? Coreen, you're the investigator, right? So you have to consider all the options. If it's any consolation, if he was doing drugs, chances are he wouldn't have been honest with you about it. But what makes you think he was doing drugs? Because they dress in black? Oh, yeah, yeah, I always judge a person's character based entirely on their wardrobe decisions. If Lexia knew that drugs were for sale in her place... No, I know her. Look, never let your emotions cloud your investigation. Because you're the only one that can do that, right? Look, Lexia is not involved. Believe me. Are you sure you wouldn't want to wait for my report, Detective Celluci? Doc, you and I both know that what you find isn't going to end up in any report. Meet Jane Doe. I see. Extensive trauma to the neck. The flesh looks torn, doesn't it? Yes, most likely by hand. I thought they used their...you know. Well, if that's the case then maybe we should be talking to Vicki. Well, you see she's so busy these days I hate to see her torn in too many different directions, so let's not. - I understand. - Good. - Hi, guys. - Oh, hey. Say, did you get Gene Hansen's toxicology report back? I'm looking for any evidence of narcotics. I'll check and see when the results are due in. Okay, thanks. Hey. What's up? You working that beetle mania case? Yes, I am. I have reason to believe the club owner might have known about drug dealing in the establishment. If the drugs led to the kid's death, she could be held responsible. Uh-huh, you got it. Speaking of which, I need you to check some names for me - her and her staff. See if they had any priors. - Do you mind running them? - Sure, let's go. Yeah, I'll even throw in a little lunch, maybe a few... Wait a minute. It usually takes a few minutes of sparkling repartee before you'll give up anything. I'm trying to be nice. Is that a crime? No, no. Who's the customer? Hey, we doing this or not? Let's go. All right already. Oh, glasses. Hi. You know...when you're around someone long enough, you can spot their little clues, their 'tells'. And this is apropos of...? Well, I was in the morgue today and Mike was there, you know, investigating that Jane Doe, and he offered to help me gather information, no questions asked. That was nice of him. Yeah, he's never done that. Not in the ten years I've know him. Well, there's a first time for everything. Hm, apparently, like you hanging up on me last night. I have to get some pages to my editor. Henry, what's going on? Vicki, I've been thinking... It might be a good idea if we don't see each other for a while. Oh. I have to focus on my work. Yeah, sure. Whatever. I have to go. You, um... planning on bringing your portfolio with all those pages in it? Thank you. Lexia Chang had no priors. Told you. However, Mohadevan did find an unknown substance in Gene Hansen's blood. That doesn't mean she's selling drugs. All right then, spin me a better theory. Something supernatural. It used to be that would be my last suspicion. No it's my 'go to'. All right, hit me. The bugs there are lots of references from myths. There's the curse of the locusts from the Bible, and there are spells specific to insect infestation. And Beelzebub, that's often referred to as Lord of the Flies. Why did it go after Gene Hansen? They running some kind of black magic thing down at the club? Goth's are sometimes into Wicken, not black magic. Listen Coreen, I know you don't want to hear this, but somebody is into something nasty down there, whether it's drugs or black magic or whatever. Chances are your friend knows about it. Are you coming with me or not? Molech. Molech, do you want another drink? It's Evan. No thanks. Sorry about Dante. Gene. They figure out what killed him? What does it matter? He's dead, right? There have been people around here asking questions. You haven't said anything, have you? Of course not. Good boy! No thanks I'm just trying to make you feel better. Yeah, well, it didn't do much for Gene. You don't think this is what killed him? He was doing a lot. Yeah and he was sleeping it off in an alley. Who knows what could have happened to him. Hey, I know how we can make each other feel better. I have a new piercing. Where are you? There's evidence to indicate that Gene Hansen died of anaphylactic shock. The pathologist found an unknown substance in his bloodstream. Yeah, an unknown substance. I need you to be straight with me. Are you selling drugs here? I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. Coreen, tell her I'm not selling drugs. You have to tell her, whichever way it is. You have to tell the truth. If Gene died from something he bought here, you are responsible. Are you selling drugs? No! And we are done here. You said you could help me. You call this help? She's practically accusing me of murder. We're just trying to get to the bottom of this. She's just the same as all the other mundanes. They see the way we dress and they think we're freaks. She's really just trying to help. It's okay, Coreen, I see who you're siding with -your minimum wage paycheck. I thought you knew me. I thought you understood the dark beauty of what I'm trying to create here. I do! Lexia! Hey, Coreen. You came into this with an attitude about my friend and me and our lifestyle. You were never looking to help her. That is not true! Oh come on, think about it, Vicki, you can't ever trust anyone, can you? Hey, excuse me, excuse me. Oh my god! Eew! Yuck! Eew! Get off him! 911? Yeah, we need an ambulance to the Underground Club. It's at Queen West and Crawford. Thank you. - Gotcha. - Good idea. I'm going to take them to Dr. Mohadevan. Oh, unless of course, you want to do it. No, you're perfectly capable. We can't risk letting Vicki find out about this other vampire. You don't understand the potential fallout from this conflict. You just love to dramatize everything, don't you? This is a two-bit turf war, nothing more. This is much more than that, detective. Fin.. inside. I'm all ears. In the late 1700s a vampire ensconced in a Polish village found himself under siege by another vampire who had set out to take over his territory. And don't tell me. They both wound up killing ach other. That would have been preferable. The newcomer methodically disassembled the life the first vampire had so painstakingly created. He killed friends and acquaintances, lovers. Those closest to him were the first to die. Which one were you? The one still alive. The rest of the village? You're not exactly winning me over here, Fitzroy. Just be careful how you act around her. The less suspicion we arise in her the better. If the other vampire believes she's with me, Vicki will most certainly die. Well, speaking of aroused suspicions, do you often stand her up to go meet with your editor in the middle of the night? Point taken. What do you have? Her name was Gabriel Claremont. That's it? A name? Yeah, and it's more than I had a few hours ago. But now that I do have a name, I get to meet with her parents and tell them that their child was murdered for no apparent reason while trying to find out what they know of her last 48 hours alive. That's what I get to do. Then I'll leave you to that, detective. Keep in mind Fitzroy, I'm not doing this for you. I don't even like you. Since we are affording each other the courtesy of bluntness, I don't like you either. Vicki seems to trust you with her life. That's good enough for me. Any luck with the insects? I sent them to the morgue this morning. Dr. Mohadevan is sending them to an entomologist at the university for identification. What about the second victim? Evan Crane has a puncture wound on his arm. I was just talking to him the night before and now he's dead. I know, but you're just going to have to put that aside for now. Okay, tell me about the injections. Well, it's either that or a sting - her words, not mine. So it's bugs or drugs. Maybe it's both. Okay, now you're losing me. No, listen. What if there is a substance common to both victims that is somehow attractive to the bugs. - Like some kind of pheromone? - Yeah, maybe it's being sold as a party drug down at the club. And you think whoever's selling the drug doesn't even know it? No, I didn't say that. But why? Let's start with who. It is feasible. I know that wasp venom has a pheromone in it that signals other members of the hive to attack. Of course one question still stands. If this is a pheromone, then how did it get into their bloodstreams? Are you kidding me? People will try anything if they think it's going to get them high. Remember a few years ago, people were licking the backs of cane toads? Do I! Awful things. So, this substance, it could ostensibly be attracting the insects. It is possible, but to be sure I need to be able to run some tests with a pure sample. All right, I'll get on it. Oh, hey, did you have any luck with that thing you were working on the other day? What thing? The Jane Doe, you and Mike. Yes, we were able to get an ID off her dental records. You going to tell me or what? Why wouldn't I tell you? It's, uh... Gabriel Claremont. Oh, okay. The thing I'm not supposed to tell you is that this may have something to do with Henry Fitzroy. Oh, trust me. According to her agent, Miss Claremont had a photo shoot three days ago. Nobody's heard from her since. So the last person to see her would be the photographer. I'm still working on that. I did however find the address to the studio. Do you want to go check it out? - I'll get my coat. - Okay. Oh, one other thing - if this photographer does lead us to the vampire, how do we stop it? - I'll take care of that. - Oh, really? What? Surely Detective you don't have a problem with vampire and vampire violence? What if this vampire is stronger than you? Come on, Henry, anything is possible here, okay? I just want to know how to kill the thing. All right, I swear that if I ever try to kill you again, I won't use any method you tell me about. Strangely enough detective, I believe you. Thank you. A stake through the heart always works... sunlight, emolation. Come on, I've seen the movies, give me something special here. What? Like a secret word that makes our heads explode? That would work. Is there one? No, but decapitation's always effective. Watch where you swing that thing. If we are confronted with the other vampire it will attack me first. How can you be so sure? It won't find you any kind of threat, and we can use that distraction to our advantage. Hey, I'm the one wearing the badge here, remember? And I'm the vampire. If you want the killing to stop, you'll do as I say. Oh, hey, what about holy water? Shall we? Grenfield? - Live photo release forms. - Yeah. Let's see what we find here. All right, looks like your basic super model diet. Diet pills, vodka, cigarettes. Gabriel. At least this confirms that she was here. - No sign of a struggle. - No sign of anything. - What about blood? - No. All right. Well, I guess we're done here. Somebody's coming. Hey! Hi! If you guys were planning a party, you could have at least put me on the guest list. All right, who's going to tell me what's going on? - It's best if you don't know. - Best if I don't know what? Telling you would kind of defeat the purpose of 'it's best if you don't know'. Okay, you two have been skulking around the city for two days. I want to know what's going on. I can't believe neither of them would tell me what was going on! This is a little hard to picture. Mike and Henry are hanging out.. No, not just hanging out, they're working together. They're investigating that fashion model murder. You know what drives me crazy? They didn't even want me involved. They didn't want my help, nothing. Yeah, there's nothing worse than when you find out somebody close to you doesn't trust you. It's not the same thing, Coreen. Of course not. So what are you going to do? Well, we still have a case to work. That might be a little difficult since our client isn't talking to us anymore. It doesn't mean we drop the case. Listen, two men are still dead. The police aren't treating this as a homicide. You still think it has something to do with that drug. Well, unless there's some kind of insect infestation that we don't know about, the drug is the only thing those two deaths have in common. We need to get a pure sample of that drug so we can find out what the hell it is. You're going to have to go in. Me? You don't think I'll mess up your investigation? Coreen, I trust you. Clearly you're the one suited to this. I don't know that world. To be honest I wasn't really serious about it to begin with. Is this your way of apologizing or are you just trying to avoid having your hair dyed black? Is it okay if it's a little of both? All right, listen. There is one condition. You're going to have to wear this transmitter. I'll be able to hear you at all times. - Okay. - All right, you have one hour. If you don't make contact during that time, I want you to get out. If you look nervous, you're going to draw heat, so be careful. If you do get into trouble I want you to say, "my mother is not going to like this," and I will come right in. I know what I'm doing. All right, don't accept any drinks from anyone, and don't leave your drink unattended. If anyone gives you drugs, take them, but do not take them. Do you understand? And I will look both ways before I cross the road, and I will floss after every meal, and I'll wear a sweater just in case it gets cold. I'll be fine. Well, you better be or I'm going to kick your ass. I'll meet you back here at midnight. I have to run an errand. Hey. Aww... Did Mike stand you up? Vicki, if you're here to grill me again, I just... Listen, Coreen's going to go undercover tonight and I need someone who can blend to the Goth scene, keep an eye on her. I can't. Not tonight. Henry, there are two men dead and I think there's going to be more. I need your help. And I'm working on something that could prove to be just as dangerous, - for both of us. - I know. That's why we should be working together, right? - We're supposed to be partners. - Yes! Just not tonight. Okay. Sure. Can't blame a girl for trying, right? You know if you feel like it, we'll be at the Underground later ...you know, if it's not too much trouble. Christina, what do you want from me? I'm in. Over. Aw, come on, Coreen, it's a one-way radio. Hey, have you heard the good news? Hey. I'm looking to score. You know, party favors. Come on, Coreen. Do you want angel tears or crow? Angel tears? Come on, come on... angel tears is acid, crow is cocaine. Come on. I'm actually looking for something a little different. Evan told me about it, but I can't remember the name. Venom? That's it. Venom. Do you know where I can find any? Something I said? I've got a lead. Over. Oh! Wynter. Hey, I hear you're looking for some venom. Yeah, do you know where I can get some? Um-hum... How about straight from the source. First time's free. - You don't have to do this. - You're wrong. - I do. - Ugh...oh...! Let's be on our way. - Why? - Well, didn't you know? Your friend has a powerful enemy. It's open season on her and I wanted to be the one to do it. VICKI, IT'S ME! I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN HEAR THIS! IT'S WINTER! SHE'S SOME KIND OF DEMON. WATCH OUT! You're too late to save your friend. I'm over here! Nope! Here! - What are you? - What I am. - You know. - Demon. There are all kinds of us, with all kinds of hungers. What are you doing slumming it down here? Nothing is without purpose. You want me, right? Why'd you kill the kids? I hook them on the bottle, then move them up to the spike. That's when I feed all their sweet juices. I had to sacrifice a few to get your attention. If your kind get too much of the bug in them, my little ones go crazy and they feed, too. That's kind of a win-win, right? That tickled. Darkness is waiting. Let it wait. It'll take a lot more than that to beat me, bitch! Henry? Sorry I'm late. Sweet ride. All right, Mov, thanks. Well, Mohadevan says it was some kind of insect venom although it's unlike anything she's ever seen. It's a good thing you didn't get too much of that in you. She said you should just keep taking the antihistamines for the next 24 hours and you should be fine. That thing used me and my friend to get to you. I almost got you killed. You were right not to trust me. Hey, hey, hey, hey. No, that's not the point. You did fine... all right? You have a little work to do on the whole trust thingy. What do you think? Is it me? You just rest, okay? Just, take it easy. So what the hell was this thing again? A demon bug? It's actually the other way around, a bug demon. Well, I think you actually both might be right. You two, you're just like peas in a pod lately. Hey, you know what? I am so ready to take my pension and retire somewhere else sweetheart. - What did it want? - Apparently it wanted me. It was killing those kids to draw me in. It's dead now, so you don't have to worry about that anymore. Which means I am free to help you two find that vampire you're been looking for. Oh yeah, yeah, I figured it out all by myself. I can do that. I'm a private detective. - NO! - Henry's right. - You're out, too. - Hey, wait a minute, Henry. We had a deal. I help you, we take it down together. The deal's changed. I don't want anyone else to die. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Who's going to die? Since when did you become altruistic? What the hell's going on? It was a mistake to involve you. Wait a second. You know who it is, don't you? Anyone else dies Henry and I am holding you personally responsible. I work better alone. Stay out of my way. She's too powerful. Henry! That's great! I mean that's just great. So now I've got two of them running around the city. He's doing it to protect us. She's been watching him. She's probably been watching him all night. She? And he's figured out who it is and he's protecting her. The woman behind the vampire... Christina. And who the hell is Christina? Trouble. Thank you, Bobby. - You working for us tonight? - I'm filling in for Sweet. - I guess she's starting to show. - What do you know? - What's new? - Nothing much. Same as usual. You not working at The Vanya, anymore? There's been shootings in the bar. I'm happy not to be working there. It's way too intense. That's Disciples turf. What's going on over there? There's an American crew moving in. Trying to shove out the Disciples and grab the street game. - American crew, huh? - That's what I heard. - See you later. I'll buy you a drink. - For sure. I saw the news about the shooting in Seattle. It's so crazy in the States with the guns and everything. I know. I'll talk to you later. I wanna know if you've talked to this guy. Is he still in town? I'm supposed to be meeting him any time. I wanna know who he is, who he's working for and what his plan is. This is happening now, so I'm gonna talk to you later. It's Rene. What happened with Reardon the other night? He got picked up on an old assault charge and released. Are you gonna bring him in again? Is he being extradited? I don't think so. I heard they called it off. Why'd they call it off? Our Attorney General thinks you don't have the evidence you need for us to hand him over. That gives me more time. You've been inside the Chickadee, you know the club. Where is Reardon staying when he stays overnight? Is there an apartment there on top? That's a good question. I think so. Don't remember exactly but I could find that out for you. Yeah. Do that. You ever gonna tell me who you're working for? - Probably not. - Well, you're not DEA... You're not a bounty hunter, 'cause there's no bounty on him. - I'm working for a private contractor. - What's their interest? That's all you wanna know. You don't wanna dig deeper. As long as someone pays me. I'm gonna guess cash is okay with you. I want the whole layout of the nightclub. The Blackmire Group report you asked for. It includes the FBI brief. And what are the FBI's concerns, exactly? They're worried American economic interests are being jeopardised by Blackmire's partnering with companies in China, Russia and the Middle East. They've got their eye on intellectual property and patent theft, the illegal flight of capital to cheap labour markets... I can't believe we might share the same agenda with the FBI. That could be a first. I'll give it a read and let you know if I need anything more. 5 minutes. - You wanted to talk about Reardon? - You were gonna run a few scenarios about what might happen if Reardon dropped out of the dope trade. My sources seem to think his departure would open the city up to a turf war that would probably spread to the rest of the provence. - Why would it spread? - All the independent growers who supply Reardon would partner up and try to be major players him-selves. It would be like deregulation of the dope trade. Like the vacuum in the heroin trade created by the Taliban when they left the scene in Afghanistan. Plus, we'll probably see a lot of new players, resulting in a lot more dope being grown. Which would be an intelligence nightmare for us. We're already so outnumbered, we're almost irrelevant. The good thing about Reardon being so dominant is we go to him for intelligence, he knows what's happening. Well, Reardon's obviously got an exit strategy underway with this bank he's bought in to. I don't think we can stop him leaving. You might be able influence him about how to manage the transition so we don't end up in chaos and bloodshed for the next decade. This is a multi-billion dollar industry. If the economy starts taking... it's gonna get even bigger. If we can keep the trade confined to the fewest possible players, we've got a better chance of keeping an eye on things. What can we do to avoid the chaos? One way to go would be to convince Reardon to sell off equal parts of his business to the Disciples and the Vietnamese and encourage cooperation. Otherwise, like I say, it could be open warfare between a dozen or more smaller players for a few very long years. If you can talk to Reardon, we might avoid a meltdown. One other thing that might be relevant, here. An informant was telling me about a new group of dealers in town. Americans with a lot of cash buying up all the weed they can - and asking for more. - See what you can find out. I still don't know who this guy is. He'll tell me he's on a private contract to take you back Stateside for prosecution. - What's he want from you? - Layout of the club, front and back exits, where the apartment is. - You know where he's staying? - No idea. - We always meet on the street. - Next time you take a meeting, - let me know up front. - I don't think he wants to take you over the line and hand you over. I get a different feeling. - Like what? - Like he doesn't care how he does it, as long as he takes you out of the picture. Maybe you know something about this, a new crew trying to take over the Vanya Hotel. That's true. There's been a few fights. No-one dead yet, but that's only a matter of time. Americans is what I heard. We're hearing the same thing. What the fuck is going on here? Something, that's for sure. Every time I call Julianna for a date, she says that she is busy and she can't make it. She says she's working for the Government full time - and to leave her alone. - What's your problem? My problem is, I invested a lot of money in her. I paid to bring her here, I put her up in an apartment - and now I'm not getting paid. - You might recall that's part of the deal you made with us in exchange for citizenship. My deal was for my cooperation. It was not to subsidise the Canadian spy service. If you are taking Julianna, or any of my girls out of service, I would like to be compensated for it. I am not a charity. - What are you looking for? - Her apartment is $2,500 a month. I lose $1,000 a night, every night that she does not work for me. I'm not paying you 1,000 a night. Get real. But something. I need something. I have expenses. I'm not losing money. Call me tomorrow. I'll see what I have in the budget. Watch yourself. You're walking a very thin line. You, too. I know what you get from my girls. Maybe this DEA guy, or whoever he is, is connected to these Americans. You seriously think there's a conspiracy to take Jim out... so the American can take the drug trade over? It's a $6 billion a year business. It's right in their backyard, which they can take a big piece of, by one simple move, getting rid of Jim. I think you're smoking too much of what we're selling. You always think everything is connected to everything else. 'Cause that's how it really is, Ron. Everything is connected. It's coincidence. Random incidents, they come together, they line up so suddenly it looks like a pattern or a conspiracy. - But it's just random. - Just hear me out. Jim is the glue, he holds all these little pieces together. He leaves, there a big hole in the trade here. What's that? It's random. It's a perfect storm and we're in the eye of it. Phan, where you been hiding? Over in Maui, chilling. Bought a piece of golf course. Get out of here. What? You get a couple of holes. - Come over, I'll take care of you. - I'm coming at Christmas. I saw you were in the shooting in Seattle, so I thought I better get back, keep an eye on business. There's something going on, we don't know what. Bob's got a theory. Will you stop it with that! You create this atmosphere of paranoia. It's ridiculous. If it's real, it ain't paranoia. Get hip to what's in the air, it's called atmosphere. You can smell it. You can taste it. Come on, you can see it. You're scaring me. We're just talking about this American crew trying to make a push. - I'm hearing the same thing. - So, what about these Americans? Couple of guys were round my place when I was gone. Americans trying to buy whatever weed I had available. I heard that maybe you were gonna get out of the business. Yeah, we've been talking about it. So, do I get a chance to buy a piece of it? - Make an offer? - Maybe. - What piece do you want? - The contacts out of the East. I've got a lot of weed in production, I need the pipeline. I'll give you a piece of every pound we move. But I've got to let you know, we're talking to other people about that. That's why I'm here, to let you know I'm interested. - Consider it. - Beautiful. Anyway, I just wanted you to know I'm back in business and flushed with cash. - So let me know. - All right. We'll be in touch. Take it easy. You heard what he said. I'm telling you, there's something way bigger than us going on here. Katarina tells me you're threatening to leave her... and work for me full time. Katarina doesn't own me... and neither do you. You can't be talking to people about our relationship. Not Katarina, no-one. I apologize. - What's this? - That is the... agenda for the Blackmire Group's meetings in the Mexico. I took it from George Browne's briefcase this afternoon. This is the things I'm talking about when you act without consulting us. If you took it from his briefcase, he's gonna discover it's missing. And you risk exposing my entire operation. If he finds the briefcase, but he won't. He left it in the taxi. And now you have George Browne's briefcase, because? I called the taxi company and I go to pick it up. I'm giving it back to him tonight when I see him. - You're seeing him again tonight? - In about 15 minutes. We need the wire van outside of Julianna's immediately. Should have told me you were doing this. I didn't have the time. I was with George until one hour ago. You spent the day with him? Yes and every night this week, so far. I am becoming the expert in George Browne and the Blackmire Group. I could be making living at it, no? You are doing some very risky things without telling me. And I have serious concerns about that. You don't want me to tell you what he is doing? You don't want... the briefcase? I want you to inform me of when you see him before you see him. And I want to debrief you at regular intervals. You are working under my direction. Do you understand that? Well, if I am working for you full time... then I need to get paid for it. I still owe money to Katarina and... if I can't work for her because I'm working for you, then... she needs to get paid. And... you need to leave. He is going to be here in 5 minutes. We'll talk about all this tomorrow. You're gonna call me first thing. - That is him now, probably. - Is the wire up and running? It will be. Come on up. In the morning, first thing. Take the stairs! There's not much here, just some small talk. No mention of the Blackmire Group, at all. Then they get into bed. Did he mention anything about his briefcase? He wasn't interested in his briefcase. Burn me a copy, put it in my office. - Julianna's completely out of hand. - She is. - Very talented, however. - Very clever. Did you make me a copy of the contents of that briefcase? - Did you get a chance to look at it? - Very interesting. We now have a list of all the Canadian companies involved with the Blackmire Group and the donation expected to funnel to the various lobbyists and politicians, or whoever it is they're pissing off. - Names and amounts? - There you go, on top, there. It's like a shopping list. Julianna's expecting to get her passport today. She's supposed to travel with Browne to the Blackmire summit in Mexico. I don't think it's safe to let her go. She might find the life of a billionaire's mistress hard to resist. Been a few songs written about that. - I think I've got to reel her back in. - I agree. Have Immigration pick her up on something... - completely unrelated to us. - As you wish. Tell them to hold her until she misses her flight. When she calls us to help her out, we help her out. How could we not? - Grateful, but too late to travel. - Too late to travel. You asked me to find out about the recent arrival of some Americans on the dope scene. I spoke to the Vancouver Drug Squad and they said they've been noticing a steady influx of Americans arriving over the last five to six months and it seems to be growing. It started out as street trade, dime bags. But they've moved steadily into wholesaling and they probably already account for 5 to 10% of the Vancouver market, which is a... pretty quite entry into the scene. So, who are they? Are they affiliated with anybody up here? They seem to have good relations with a Latino street gang that moved up here from L.A. about 3 years ago. That gang was originally from Guatemala, very tight, impossible to penetrate. Half of them were in the army. These are the guys who are gonna take Reardon's place, much nastier. Let's talk about what might happen if Reardon left the dope scene. - You predict chaos. - Mayhem. You can already smell it. Now with the Americans in the picture, it could get even uglier. They bring a lot of guns along. It gets exponentially crazier. We should be proactive on this and pursue your idea of trying to encourage an alliance. That might avoid all that. Can you speak to Dante about that? See if you can plant that in his ear? Thanks for listening to me. How are you, honey? You want some more juice? - What are you doing today? - I'm gonna take Sweet shopping and look for a crib. I thought after, I'd take them to see the house we're looking at. That's a good idea. Let me know what you think, besides the fact they're asking ten-times too much. Have fun. Did Ronnie tell you two we wanted you - to be godparents? - I'd be so proud. Thank you. Really? Thank you. What an honour. - How's everybody doing? - Good. You? So far... There's the little momma. I got a little something for the kid. I won it at a fair last night. That is so sweet. - I'll see you guys later. - Call me later. - Coffee? - No, I'm good. What's up? Just hearing about these American guys coming into town. - You know anything about this? - Do I know anything? They've been giving my guys a hard time. Selling good weed for cheap. I've been chasing them off, but then they took over the park across the street. - They coming in here? - They showed up at my brother's club. Just a matter of time before we see them here. We should do something before something gets out of hand. What about the bank machines? I'll have my accountant look at the final numbers, but I think we're done. You wanna talk about the weed? You'll have the Eastern connection. We're looking for commission on deals. - Are you gonna want to work with me? - Gonna have introduce you around. - So we have an agreement here? - We'll start exploring it. There are other people interested. You thinking about selling to the Vietnamese? I'm not gonna say who. I gotta do what's best, right? You want my money in your bank, I want that Eastern territory. I'm not saying we won't make a deal, but there are other people interested and I wanna listen to what they have to say. You sell me the East, I make sure you make a lot of money. - Keep talking. - It's all I'm asking. I got a meeting with this guy in 10 minutes. - Where is this gonna be? - 400 block, Powell. I'm in my car. Let's go. Julianna Vejzna? Immigration. Would you come along with me, please. - Am I being arrested? - Yes, you are. Why? Why are you arresting me? I'm sorry, I don't know the details. Watch your head. The Chickadee club's laid out like this. Two exit doors at the back, Ronnie's office, then you got the stage. These exits doors are open, or locked up? I don't know. Can I get out that way is what I need to know. Have they got chains? I'll see if I can find out. This is the club here, all this. This is the lounge and your front doors, here and here. What are the windows at the back? What's that? I think those are dressing rooms. If these are the dressing rooms, these other windows are at the front. That's gotta be the apartment where Reardon sleeps. Could be. This is good. You still need some of my guys? No, I got a few of my own crew up here, now. I'll be in touch when I need you. You know this man? That's Gordon Evans. He's a president at my bank. And this man? No. George Browne, President of the Blackmire Group. Evans tells me we're gonna be washing money for him. So I understand. I'm gonna want records of those transactions. - Should be able to get those. - I have another question. You're still getting out of the weed business, right? - I'm trying hard, yeah. - We've concerns about how that might affect the level of violence in the trade. Well, we'd like to see a smooth transition happen here. We can't afford to see a whole new crop of players move in and set up shop. We just... don't have the resources to stay on top of it. Are you trying to tell me who I should sell to? I'd like to have some input. What works for you? Well, if you sold to Dante and the Vietnamese, 50-50... probably keep things more or less stabilised. Probably, but I don't know if that's gonna work. Dante had Phan's cousin killed in retaliation for Dante's nephew, so I don't know that they're ready to let that go. Would it work if they wanted it to? If they got over their differences? It might. If they wanted it to happen. Will you think about that might happen? How you might influence that outcome? Maybe broker that for us. Yeah, I'll think about it. Stay in touch. You're brokering my dope deals for me now? Don't ask for a fee... Why are you telling me this? We're looking at how the future might unfold and... hoping we can avoid any unnecessary violence. Seriously. I'm serious. I'm not gonna into business with the Vietnamese, I can tell you. The alternative is a prolonged turf battle with an enemy who's got endless recruits ready to do a cheap hit. You'll be so busy watching your back, you won't be able to do any business. You just don't have the numbers to stay on top. - And neither do you. - Exactly the point, my friend. I'm gonna be fine. It's not just the Vietnamese you've got to worry about, it's every other small-time wannabe who's been waiting for a vacuum like this. Plus, you've got the Americans, now. - You're gonna be surrounded. - What do you know about them? They're moving in, buying up all the product they can find. They're out to steal business from you. Yeah, that's not news. I also know they're talking to the Viets. If they decide to partner up, you're suddenly the odd man out. - They're talking to Phan and his crew? - Phan's crew, yeah. Thanks for the info. Just letting you know what it looks like. Gotta think about this a little bit. Things are moving fast. Let me know what you wanna do. I'm gonna go visit the shoe shop next door, OK? Don't go anywhere else. Come straight back here. She's such a good kid. God knows how that happened with all we put her through. Yeah, I worry about that. You know Bob's new girlfriend? What was her name again? Lorna. How did they hook up? I have no idea. Bob keeps his business to himself. I think they met at a club, or something. I think she's having an affair with Jim. You know anything about that? You're kidding? Alison, don't lie to me, please. I won't tell anybody you told me. I think it happened just the one time. When? When he was on his way back from Seattle, I guess. When he was on the island. That's the DEA building. They've got offices over there. Do you know that for sure, the DEA got offices in there? - Yeah, I was in there yesterday. - You were in there yesterday? It's the DEA building. Yeah, why were you in there? I was by there, yesterday. I drove by. I know the building. Thanks for this. Rene says the building we followed the guy into is where the DEA has offices. So he's working for them, or working with them, or using their facilities. - Somehow, he's connected. - Looks that way. - How do you know he's DEA? - I don't know, that's the point. He was seen going into the DEA building, so he's got a relationship of some kind. Come on, you've got to help me out. All right, I'll look in to it. I had a conversation with Dante, planted the idea of him partnering with Phan's crew. - He's thinking about it. - Good. We have another problem. We gotta deal with this DEA agent, or whoever he is, who's looking to kidnap Reardon. We need Reardon here and able to play. I don't wanna make that call. Let me see if I can work some back channels. I can poke around, see if the DEA cares about this guy, or what his game is. It's Julianna. I am allowed to talk to my lawyer in private, I think. I am in the immigration jail. They say I am in violation of my visa and they are asking about working for the escort service. - Can you help me? - All right. Stay calm. Don't mention that we have a relationship with you. We have to do some quick work to get you out of there. I am supposed to be on the plane for Mexico, tomorrow morning. I'm aware. I'm gonna do what I can. Refuse to answer any questions. I'll get a lawyer down there to see you. Sit tight. She's in immigration lock-up, desperate for us to intervene. Let her stay there a while. I'll go see her later. Jimmy Reardon is staying at the Chickadee Club. His partner's upstairs apartment, is my guess. That's here at the front, on Seymour Street. And that's probably the way we'll have to go after the club shuts. I need to know exactly what the layout is, so I want you two guys going in tonight to scope the club. No weapons. They've got security at the door. You're just a couple of guys looking for a lap dance. The lap dances happen upstairs, so that gets you up there. We're looking for a way into the apartment. Who are you? Bob Clay. I'm the supervising DEA agent up here. - How can we help? - Well, Bob... We've got an operation running on the Chickadee club, a local strip bar. We've been running surveillance for a couple of months. That's this Reardon character's club. We spotted someone doing surveillance on it. We're wondering if you know who that is. We don't want to be tripping over each other. I don't know of any operation. You recognise this guy? No. Is he American? Don't know. He's not in our database. - You mind running him for me? - Sure. No problem. Appreciate it. - How long you been stationed here? - Six months. - How do you like Vancouver, so far? - I love it. You're with Organised Crime? I'm the director of the OCU. I've got a question for you. Maybe you could help me out. We just started an operation on a biker gang up here. Got a long reach into the States. Maybe you could share some intel? You're talking about the Disciples? A guy named Dante. Dante Ribiso. They're some bad boys. I'll put together an intel package for you. Let me see what I can find out about this guy. - Give me a couple of days. - Sounds good. There she is! - Show me what you got. - Well, I didn't get that much. It all kind of went sideways after lunch. Why? What happened? Francine knows about Lorna and Jim. - How'd she find that out? - She knew. She asked me about it, I lied, said it was a one night thing, but she knows. I'm gonna have to let Jim know. Shit! Please don't put me in this. I promised I wouldn't say anything. This is gonna get ugly. What did she say? Is she gonna freak on him, or what? She just seems really depressed. I'll handle it. I'll look at these later, OK? Do me a favour. Will you go downstairs and make me a cold glass of lemonade? And ask Ronnie if he can make me a sandwich from the kitchen. - I'm gonna make Mom a sandwich. - All right. Is she upstairs? Are you feeling all right? Sure, everything's fine. What's wrong with you? Maybe you want to tell me something. What are you doing with that? Don't do that, Frankie. Jesus, don't do that. Are you fucking Lorna? You better tell me the truth. Give me the knife. Frankie, give me the knife! What are you doing? Slit your wrists and let Stella come and find you? - Give me a chance to talk about it. - Tell me, are you fucking her? - No. It's over. - I'll kill her if you're lying to me. It's okay, honey. It's okay, honey. There's nothing going on here. Go on downstairs, OK? You heard me, right? Deal with it! How are you? All right. Did Immigration tell you why you were picked up? They said they are investigating Katarina's escort service. - What did you tell them? - Nothing. I am still waiting on a lawyer. Good. I am supposed to be travelling tomorrow and I haven't spoken to George all day. He is going to wonder what happened to me. I'm not gonna let you go. Unless you sign this... Go ahead, read it. - What is it? - It's your contract, to work for me as an agent at CSIS. It's not the same as being a confidential informant, which is what you've been doing so far. As an agent, I will be directing you to do certain things on our behalf. And you may be required to testify in court, in future. If you disobey my instructions, or conduct any criminal activity, you can be arrested, returned to Canada at any time, from any place and be prosecuted. Just in case you were thinking of disappearing in Mexico, taking up the life of leisure with Mr Browne. You will be paying me for travelling with him? We will. And I will get... passport? Remember... It can be revoked at any time. Call George Browne. Tell him you've been at the Office all day, you've got your passport... and you'll be at your apartment in an hour. I'm sorry I couldn't call, I was at the Passport Office all day. You can't believe how long it takes. I will call you when I get home. I love you, too. Very good. Let's go. Take this. It's from Jimmy. He's gonna call you later and explain. What's it for? Francine knows about you. She's gonna come after you if you show your face around here. You better go. - Hey, Bob! How are you, this evening? - Good. Jimmy's expecting you. He's gonna call me, right? Take care. Nice knowing you. I was the assistant director of the Organised Crime Unit under Inspector Spalding. When she got promoted to the Spy Service, I took over. Here she is, now. Good evening. Director Spalding, Rick Cruikshank. Good to meet you. - Why don't we go into my office. - Good to meet you, Ted. You, too. If you're in town for a while, let's hook up. - What's it about? - I got no fucking idea. So, what brings you to this end of the Earth? What can I do for you? We received your report, on the Blackmire Group investigations from the FBI. I was hoping to persuade you not to pursue that any further. I wasn't aware the FBI was sharing with the CIA. I apologise on their behalf. They should have informed you. That would have been good. Can I ask why you want us to stop? I can't say any more than we have a parallel investigation underway. We don't to risk your operation endangering our own. - What's the nature? - I'm not at liberty to say. Well, as you probably already know, as the FBI may have informed you, we've got direction from our Financial Investigations arm to conduct our own investigation. Fair enough. Perhaps you could call them, make them aware of our request. It's gonna have to wait until tomorrow. But you could call off an operators you have on the case. I can't do anything until I speak to someone from Financial. In order to gain access to materials you shared with the FBI, you've obviously got someone on the case. I can't tell you how we receive that intel. I understand. Perhaps you could make your operative aware of our concerns. Blackmire has a very sophisticated counter-surveillance program. George Browne is an ex-CIA agent. If you have an operative in there, they will be exposed. You don't have anything to be concerned about. I don't have an operator in any kind of direct exposure. Good to hear. If you could call me tomorrow, after you've spoken to your superiors, I'd appreciate it. You can reach me any time. Thank you. I'll be giving you a call in the morning. - Good night. - A pleasure. Likewise. Call Julianna immediately and tell her she's not going on her trip with George Browne. Anything I can do? Call the FBI and start screaming. They've been sharing our intel with the CIA. It's Inspector Spalding. I've had a visit from the CIA regarding our Blackmire operation requesting we drop it. Please advise me what course to take. She's not answering. Is there wire on Julianna still up? Is Julianna at her place? She's just leaving with Browne. - There they go. - You got everything? And that's it. All right, gentlemen. Here's your financial statement. Evelyn, I appreciate all the effort you've put into this... but there comes a time whereyou have to walk away. Come on. Isn't there something I can do to persuadeyou? There's nothing you can do. [ Chuckles ] Know what I love about Miami? Apart from you, of course. The cheap labor. You know, I can get a kid offthe street to do a hit for about, mmm, grand. Well, ifl flirt with him a little. Say, now, isn't that Lucy? Lucy! Lucy! [Tires Squealing] - Michael, I am so sorry. - It's notyour fault. Yes, it is. You taught me better than that. It was so stupid. I should have been more thorough. - I've got guys headed to her hotel right now. - It won't matter. I know. I just feel like I should do something. You should. You should be careful, 'cause she's still out there. - [ Cell Phone Rings ] - Right on time. Yeah. - [ Evelyn ] Changeyour mind? - Enough ofthis. You want to deal, you deal with me. You leave Lucy out ofit. Done. Lucyhas no more to fearfrom me. You see? I can be reasonable. Of course, I still have a job to do, and the next target will have to be Sam or Fiona or-- I know. Mommy. Sooner or later, I'll find someone you care about more than Doug. Soyou call me when you want it to stop. - [Beeps ] - She's not leaving town, is she? That'd be a no. [Doug] Ifshe knows all this aboutyou, she'll probably come here. She won't play this out on my turf. She'll keep the pressure on until she gets an opening. I- - I can't believe this. I'm a C.P.A., for Christ's sake. C.P.A. brought down Al Capone. There's a reason why the feds wantyou to testify. I saywe hunt her down. Ammunition's cheap. Fi, ifwe go out there without a plan, we're exposed. She's more than happy to keep killing people until we hand Doug over. She can come after me. I'm ready. Yeah? - What about Sam? - I'm game, Mike. What about ifshe comes after my mom, my brother... Doug's sonJasper? - So we sit here and wait? - For once, she's right, Mike. We gotta do somethin'. We're gonna hand him over to the U.S. Attorney, get him into Witness Protection. - Won't she still come afteryou? - We'll deal with that later. Sam, I need you to call the U.S. Attorney. Tell them we're bringing Doug in tomorrow morning. - I'm on it. - And, uh... somebodyneeds to go to mymom... see that she's safe, make her house secure. - Think she's cooked dinneryet? - I'm sure she'll heat somethin' up foryou, Sam. Well, then I'm on that too. Fi... I need you to prep an armed escort. Doug. I need you... to stay away from the windows. You say this is just a precaution? Oh, yeah. It's nothin' to worry about. Um, say, um, this is a little embarrassing, but, uh... me and my lady friend, uh, had a falling out, and... well, Mike thought maybe itwould be okay ifl, uh, crashed here forthe night. Sam, I'm not an idiot. You want to tell mewhat's goin' on? Well, see, there was this lady, and she was making some threats. - Against me? - Not specifically. Well, I mean, your name came up, but it was more like a hypothetical type thing... so it's nothing to worry about, but Mike wanted me to stay here and giveyou some... you know, self-defense pointers in case I had to leave. You gonna leave this here with me when you go? Okay. Be careful, okay? 'Cause that's loaded. Yeah. Michael's father had a Winchester single-shot. I think I may still have it. Soyou want a beer? You kiddin'? Doug is sleeping peacefully. - You gave him something. - Maybe. Well, half ofsomethin'. Sam got in touch with his buddy at the U.S. Attorney's. Bringing Doug in tomorrow mornin'. Great. We can talk finally. There's nothing to talk about. You were right. I was wrong. I'm sorry. It isn't that simple, Michael. You thinkyou can let the job be whoyou are... all you are, and you can't. It's dangerous to think thatyou can. I know I can be... passionate... - but I'm good at what I do. - I know. - It's no secret that things between us have been-- - Little rocky. It isn't easy for me either. Evelyn comes along, and she's attractive... sweet, needy. Don't deny it. Fine. Isn't it interesting that she turned out to be... well, who she turned out to be? - What shall we make ofthat? - Madeyour point, Fi. - Did I? - Yep. You did. What about D.C.? - You still goin'? - I have to. Ifl don't, it won't be long before Cowan sends someone else here to kill me. I need him to know I can get to him too. I need him to know right now. And you need help. And you know it. I don't think that's a good idea. - Is that a tactical judgment or a personal one? - Both. Everybody I know is in danger right now-- everyone I'm close to. Well... I'm willing to risk it... ifyou are. - How's my mom? - Locked up cozy and tight with a cigarette and a shotgun... ready to kill anything that comes through the door. ready to kill anything that comes through the door. - Hereyou go, Doug. My luckyvest. - It'll look great over my shirt. - Thanks. - It's a little worn, but it'll do the trick. - Are these bullet holes? - Yeah. I broke it in foryou. It's a short ride to the U.S. Attorney's office. Just think ofit as a precaution. It's like a seat belt. - Yeah. A seat belt that smells like Old Spice and bourbon. - Easy now. [Michael Narrating]Assassination's one percent shooting, 99% preparation. Anticipating moves, devising approaches... recruiting sources... finding the perfect opportunity so the bullet's almost an afterthought. Usually that's when a target's on the move... when there are too many variables to control them all. -We should get out of here. -Michael, whatever happens, I just wanted to say thankyou. You can thank me by keeping your head down... - and staying away from windows, okay? - Got it. [ Michael Narrating] There are ways to lessen the risk. An armed escort... taking an unpredictable route toyour destination... having backup in a trail car. But ultimately, as long as the assassin... knows where you're going... they have the upper hand. The poi nt is the thi ng works. I t's one of the few things in my life that's never let me down. [ Michael Narrating] It's impossible to stop a good assassin... from finding an opening and taking a shot. The bestyou can do is control where the best opening is. And sometimes that's enough. [ Michael ] Drop it. You set me up. - Bravo. - Put it down, Evelyn. Hey. I could still do this. Did I tell you how much this job pays? You could buy someplace decent to live-- even at Miami prices. Put the rifle down. How'd you know I'd be here? I figured you had a source in the U.S. Attorney's office. You knew Doug was thinking about testifying. Now, I count six different vantage points with a betterview ofthat entrance. - How'd you know I'd be at this one? - Istanbul wasn't that long ago. You like rooftops overwindows... you like angles with the target on your right-hand side, 'causeyou're left-handed. That's right. I knew I liked you. Put it on. [ Scoffs ] Michael... is this whatyou reallywant, huh? Helping out civilians with their little problems... trying to get your governmentjob back? It's pathetic. - You're better than that. - [ Clicks ] Let's go. We have a big day ahead of us. I gotta turn you in. There'll be questions. It'll be past lunch before we're done. [ Chuckles ] Turn me in? A lot of secrets, a lot of enemies. Think it'd be a short stay, don'tyou? Now, don'tyou think we could come to some arrangement? - I don't think so. - Now be honest with me. If circumstances were different... do you think that we could-- Not in this lifetime. Perhaps the next one. - [ Crash ] - [ Woman Screams ] [ People Screaming] - Indictments came down yesterday. - That was quick. They found the leak in the U.S. Attorney's office... and Evelyn-- wow. They're gonna be workin' up her file foryears. She was a very, very bad girl. I managed to keep you out of it so far. - It's gonna take some work. - I appreciate that, Lucy. Don't say I never did anything foryou. I neverwould. Did she say anything before-- She wished that things had turned out differently. Tell me about Doug and Jasper. On theirway to a new life in an undisclosed location. He's gonna have to come back for trial. [ Sighs ] Wanted you to have that. Andl have anotherpresent foryou. It's your new identity. - It shouldgetyou to D.C. orwherever. - [ Sighs ] Thankyou, Lucy. It's the least I could do. What about your car? Whatever it costs, I want to reimburse you. Don't worry about it. I'm not gonna be in Miami that much longer. - I'll seeyou again? - Maybe. - Lucy. - Sam. So, is thatyour new I.D.? Yep. I could get into the White House pressroom with these documents. - I don't thinkyou're gonna need it. - Why is that? Just got a call from a buddy... one ofthe guys I asked to keep an eye out on this burn notice business. - You might want to rethinkyour trip to D.C. - Why? What'd he say? The guywho burned you... turns outyou don't need to go up there to see him, 'cause... well, he's coming down here to seeyou. See me? - What does that mean? - I don't know. Just a heads-up. Well... - looks like I'm gonna have to get the Charger fixed after all. - Yeah. Michael: MY NAME IS MICHAEL WESTEN. I USED TO BE A SPY UNTIL... Man: We got a burn notice. You're blacklisted. WHEN YOU'RE BURNED, YOU'VE GOT NOTHING -- NO CASH, NO CREDIT, NO JOB HISTORY. YOU'RE STUCK IN WHATEVER CITY THEY DECIDE TO DUMP YOU IN. WHERE AM I? MIAMI. YOU DO WHATEVER WORK COMES YOUR WAY. YOU RELY ON ANYONE WHO'S STILL TALKING TO YOU. A TRIGGER-HAPPY EX-GIRLFRIEND... SHOULD WE SHOOT THEM? ...AN OLD FRIEND WHO'S INFORMING ON YOU TO THE FBI... YOU KNOW SPIES -- A BUNCH OF BITCHY LITTLE GIRLS. ...FAMILY, TOO... IS THAT YOUR MOM AGAIN? ...IF YOU'RE DESPERATE. SOMEONE NEEDS YOUR HELP. BOTTOM LINE - - UNTIL YOU FIGURE OUT WHO BURNED YOU, YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE. BURN NOTICE SEASON 1 EPISODE 10 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THESE SHOES, MICHAEL? FANTASTIC. I HAVE JUST THE RIGHT DRESS. ARE THEY REAL? WELL, THEY LOOK REAL. ISN'T THAT WHAT COUNTS? YOU'RE GETTING A FAKE IDENTITY, MICHAEL. I CAN'T GET FAKE SHOES? THE PLACE IS UP HERE SOMEWHERE. YOU KNOW, YOU GO AHEAD. I'M GONNA -- OH, THAT'S PRETTY. A FAKE IDENTITY IS KNOWN IN THE SPY TRADE AS A FALSE FLAG. IT USED TO BE YOU COULD MAKE YOUR OWN DOCUMENTS WITH A PRINTER AND A LAMINATOR. THESE DAYS, THOUGH, I.D.s HAVE MAGNETIC STRIPS, HOLOGRAMS, AND INFRARED WATERMARKS. YOU NEED A PRO. YES. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? I LOST MY PASSPORT AND DRIVER'S LICENSE. I HEARD I COULD GET SOME NEW ONES HERE. ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS REPORT THEM STOLEN. THEY'LL SEND YOU REPLACEMENTS. RIGHT, BUT THE THING IS, I'M GOING ON A TRIP SOON, AND I HEARD YOU COULD DO IT HERE MORE QUICKLY AND MORE QUIETLY. HMM. THAT MIGHT BE POSSIBLE... FOR A FEE. THE FEE IS NOT AN ISSUE. COME ON BACK. I DON'T GET MUCH CALL FOR THE GOOD STUFF ANYMORE. MOST OF MY BUSINESS IS JUST TEENAGERS TRYING TO GET PAST A BOUNCER AT THE TITTY BAR. TITTY BAR. THEY GOT NO APPRECIATION FOR ART, YOU KNOW? GIVE ME YOUR RIGHT HAND. HOW ABOUT PULLING YOUR SLEEVE BACK? IF THIS STUFF GETS ON YOUR SHIRT, IT'LL NEVER COME OUT. AND SLIDE THESE ON FOR ME, IF YOU DON'T MIND. THIS IS YOU, ISN'T IT? UH, KIND OF HARD TO TELL FROM HERE. PUT THOSE ON FOR ME, IF YOU DON'T MIND. IN SOME SITUATIONS, A TACTICAL RETREAT IS YOUR BEST OPTION. LISTEN, WELL, I'M SORRY AS I CAN BE ABOUT THIS. BUT A GUY LIKE ME DON'T STAY IN BUSINESS VERY LONG UNLESS HE SLIPS THE FBI A BONE EVERY NOW AND THEN. AND LET'S FACE IT -- YOU'RE A BIG OLD SOUP BONE. FLATTERED. THEY COME THROUGH EVERY NOW AND THEN ASKING ABOUT YOU. A GUY WITH A GUN IS A GUY WITH A GUN. YOU CAN FIGHT HIM AND RISK SOMEONE GETTING SHOT OR WAIT FOR BACKUP. YOU'RE GONNA BE MY GET-NO-HASSLES-FOR-A-YEAR CARD. YEAH, SPECIAL AGENT ALLEROT. YEAH, TELL HIM IT'S JUMBO. WELL, HOW MANY JUMBOS YOU THINK HE KNOWS? MIKE, LOOK AT THE DEAL I GOT ON THESE SHOES. YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE IT. LADY! LADY, YOU CAN'T BE BACK HERE. GET OUT OF HERE. GET OUT OF HERE NOW. SORRY, I JUST WANTED TO SHOW MY BOYFRIEND -- GET OUT OF HERE NOW. SHE'S PREGNANT. PREGNANT? IT WORKED. WHERE ARE YOU GOING? MY SHOE. THEY CLASHED WITH MY DRESS ANYWAY. YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING... WE COULD DO SOME VACATION-Y THINGS WHEN WE GO TO D.C., YOU KNOW? MAKE THE MOST OF OUR TRIP. WHERE'S MY LOCKPICKS AT? YOU KNOW, MAYBE A FANCY DINNER ONE NIGHT, TAKE IN SOME OF THE SIGHTS. I'M GONNA CONFRONT A MAN WHO TRIED TO HAVE ME KILLED. IT'S NOT A WEEKEND GETAWAY. WE CAN MIX BUSINESS WITH PLEASURE. IT WAS RIGHT HERE. FI, THE THING ABOUT D.C. -- IS THAT YOU'RE GOING TO NEED BACKUP. DON'T TELL ME YOU'D RATHER HAVE SAM. WE CAN'T TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW. WHY NOT? BECAUSE I HAVE A HARD TIME FOCUSING WHEN I'M IN HANDCUFFS. WOULD THIS HELP? ANOTHER FINE ILLUSTRATION OF YOUR NEED FOR TACTICAL ASSISTANCE. ADMIT IT, MICHAEL. YOU NEED ME. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE YOUR OWN HAIRPIN. I DO NOW. YOU HAPPY? WELL, YEAH, I KNOW A FEW GUYS WHO DO I.D. WORK, MIKE. BUT, YOU KNOW, THE FEDS ARE GONNA BE ALL OVER THEM, TOO, ESPECIALLY NOW. FEEL THEM OUT FOR ME, WILL YOU? MIKE, THEY SAID IF YOU LEAVE MIAMI, THEY'RE GONNA PICK YOU UP. IN D.C., THERE'S GONNA BE SOMEONE THERE WHO IS GONNA RECOGNIZE YOU. THE BEST FAKE I.D. IN THE WORLD ISN'T GONNA CHANGE THAT. THE GUY THAT BURNED ME TRIED TO HAVE ME KILLED. AS LONG AS I'M IN MIAMI, HE CAN FIND ME. I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES IN D.C. YOU KNOW WHO MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP IS LUCY. SHE CALLED A WHILE BACK WITH A JOB, BUT YOU WERE PRETTY BUSY WITH THIS WHOLE BURN-NOTICE BUSINESS, YOU KNOW. WHAT'S THE JOB? WELL, I DON'T KNOW THE DETAILS, BUT I DO KNOW THAT SHE WORKS WITH SOME REAL ARTISTES. THESE ARE THE GUYS WHO CAN GIVE YOU A WHOLE NEW LIFE TO GO WITH YOUR I.D. YOU INTERESTED? LET'S GIVE HER A CALL. CORPORATIONS NEED SPIES JUST LIKE GOVERNMENTS DO. OF COURSE, THEY'RE NOT CALLED SPIES. THEY'RE CALLED SECURITY CONSULTANTS. THEY'RE BASICALLY MERCENARIES WITH NICE SUITS. YOUR OFFICES JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER. IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, MICHAEL. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO? A LITTLE OF THIS, A LITTLE OF THAT. HAVEN'T YOU BEEN GETTING YOUR REPORTS FROM YOUR FBI BUDDIES? I DIDN'T TELL THEM ANYTHING THEY COULDN'T FIND OUT FOR THEMSELVES. IF YOU TELL THEM, THEY DON'T HAVE TO FIND OUT FOR THEMSELVES, DO THEY? UH, I... YOU WERE THE ONE THAT TRAINED ME IN THE DELICATE ART OF GIVING PEOPLE USELESS INFORMATION. I SAID NICE THINGS, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH. THANK YOU. YOU HAVE A JOB FOR ME? A WOMAN I MET, EVELYN. SHE HEARD I WORK SECURITY. SHE ASKED ME FOR HELP. I GUESS HER EX RAN OFF WITH THEIR SON. WE RAN CHECKS, CREDIT CARDS, AIRLINES, GOT NOTHING. SOMEBODY'S GONNA HAVE TO DO SOME LEGWORK. BUT A JOB THAT SMALL -- NOT REALLY OUR THING. YOU THOUGHT OF ME? I WOULD CONSIDER IT A FAVOR IF YOU TOOK THE JOB. AND THE MONEY'S NOT BAD. MONEY'S NOT THE PRESSING ISSUE. WHY? WHAT DO YOU NEED? IDENTITY. NOT FOR TRAVELING? MICHAEL, IF YOU LEAVE MIAMI, I CAN'T HELP YOU WITH THAT KIND OF THING. SERIOUSLY. LUCY. LUCY. [ SIGHS ] FINE. GET YOUR DOCUMENTS TOGETHER. I'LL HAVE MY GUYS DO AN I.D. PACKAGE. GO SEE EVELYN FIRST. THANKS. I SEPARATED FROM DOUG A FEW MONTHS AGO. I TRIED TO KEEP IT TOGETHER FOR JASPER'S SAKE. THAT'S OUR SON. BUT IT WAS HARD ON HIM LISTENING TO US FIGHT ALL THE TIME. HE STARTED ACTING UP AT SCHOOL, AND THEN DOUG TURNED ON HIM, AND I WASN'T GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN. I'M SURE YOU MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. HE TOOK HIM. HE PICKED HIM UP EARLY AT SCHOOL ONE DAY, AND HE DISAPPEARED. DID YOU CALL THE POLICE? YEAH, EVERY DAY. BUT TECHNICALLY WE'RE STILL MARRIED, AND HE'S JASPER'S FATHER. SO WITHOUT A CUSTODY ORDER, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING. PLEASE, I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE COURTS TO SORT THIS OUT. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE HE MIGHT HAVE TAKEN HIM? NONE. I HAVE NO IDEA, BECAUSE I'VE HARDLY SPOKEN TO HIM IN MONTHS. DO YOU HAVE PICTURES? YEAH. HERE, THAT'S JASPER. PLEASE. LUCY SAID YOU COULD FIND HIM. I NEED TO KNOW THAT HE'S OKAY. I WANT HIM BACK. I'M GONNA FIND HIM. ONE OF THE THINGS YOU LEARN IN TRAINING IS TO AVOID SITUATIONS THAT CUT TOO CLOSE. IF YOU HAD A ROUGH CHILDHOOD, A SITUATION WITH AN ABUSIVE FATHER AND A VULNERABLE KID IS GONNA MAKE YOU ANGRY. THAT CAN BE MOTIVATING, BUT IT CAN ALSO BE DANGEROUS. WELL, SHE'S A LOOKER. WHAT'S THE STORY? HUSBAND RAN OFF WITH HER KID. YOU ALL RIGHT, MIKE? I'M GONNA FIND THIS GUY. FACTS ARE THE HALLMARK OF A GOOD FALSE IDENTITY. IT'S HARDER TO CREATE HISTORY THAN IT IS TO ALTER IT. PLUS, THE MORE TRUTH TO YOUR LIE, THE EASIER IT IS TO REMEMBER. I DON'T SEE YOU FOR WEEKS, AND YOU START GOING THROUGH THE CLOSETS? WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? WHERE IS THAT BOX YOU USED TO KEEP ALL MY STUFF IN? THE MEMORY BOX? SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT. I DON'T REMEMBER. I'M KIDDING. EXCUSE ME. OH, GOD, LOOK, HUH? FIRST PLACE. GOD, THE TROPHY WAS BIGGER THAN YOU WERE. COULD WE SPEED THIS UP, MA? I NEED MY MEDICAL RECORDS AND MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE. ALL RIGHT. OH, HOW ABOUT YOUR REPORT CARD, HUH? YOU COULD HAVE BEEN VALEDICTORIAN IF YOU HADN'T BEEN SUSPENDED SO MANY TIMES FOR GETTING INTO FIGHTS. MOM, I DON'T NEED MY REPORT CARD. YOUR FATHER USED TO GET SO ANGRY. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT DAD, MA. I JUST NEED MY STUFF. FINE, HERE. I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK YOU'RE KEEPING THOSE. NO, I'M JUST GONNA MAKE COPIES. I'M GONNA TAKE A TRIP -- WORK. THE LAST TIME YOU SAID THAT, YOU LEFT FOR 10 YEARS, MICHAEL. IT'S NOT THAT KIND. DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT LEAVING, MOM? WHAT? DID IT EVER GET BAD ENOUGH WITH DAD THAT YOU THOUGHT ABOUT LEAVING? OF COURSE I DID. I WANTED TO KEEP THE FAMILY TOGETHER, MICHAEL, THROUGH THE GOOD AND THE BAD. YOU KIDS WERE SO CUTE. Sam: WELL, IT'S LIKE LUCY SAID. CHANCES ARE, HE'S PROBABLY STILL IN THE AREA. THERE'S NO RECENT CREDIT-CARD ACTIVITY, NO CAR RENTALS. THE ONLY BLIP, MIKE, IS WHERE HE WORKS -- GREENWAY WORLDWIDE CARGO OFF OF 57th. I TALKED TO MY ATF BUDDY. THERE'S SOME KIND OF INVESTIGATION THERE, SOME LINK TO ORGANIZED CRIME. GREAT. U.S. ATTORNEY'S OFFICE IS ALL OVER IT. I LEFT A MESSAGE, HAVEN'T HEARD BACK, AND THAT'S ABOUT IT. I SHOULD GO TALK TO EVELYN. YOU JUST TALKED TO HER, MIKE. YEAH, BUT SHE WAS A LITTLE FLUSTERED THE LAST TIME. SHE MIGHT HAVE FORGOTTEN SOMETHING. I THOUGHT YOU HAD TO GET THOSE DOCUMENTS TO LUCY FOR YOUR FAKE I.D. YEAH, I'LL DO IT LATER. SOMETHING I SHOULD KNOW, SAM? ABOUT WHAT, FI? ABOUT WHY MICHAEL'S ACTING THIS WAY. WHAT WAY? HE SEEMS FINE TO ME. TELL ME ABOUT THIS NEW CLIENT. YOU KNOW, I JUST REMEMBERED. I'VE GOT TO GET MIKE SOME YOGURT, 'CAUSE IF I DON'T DO THAT, BOY, YOU KNOW HOW HE IS. HE NEVER MENTIONED TROUBLE AT WORK. DO YOU THINK THERE COULD BE A CONNECTION? COULD BE. YOU HEAR ATF INVESTIGATION, IT RAISES FLAGS. I WISH I COULD BE MORE HELPFUL. SORRY. I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST FOCUS ON GETTING YOUR SON BACK. THAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH IT. EVELYN, I THINK YOU'RE STRONGER THAN YOU REALIZE. THEN MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE JUST STUCK WITH IT. YOU KNOW, WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF I HAD PRETENDED THAT EVERYTHING WAS ALL RIGHT? BUT I DIDN'T WANT MY FAMILY TO BE A LIE, NOT FOR JASPER AND NOT FOR ME. YOU'RE DOING THE BEST THING. BELIEVE ME, I KNOW A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. I'VE STAYED, AND I'VE LEFT. SOMETIMES LEAVING IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. IT MUST BE LONELY, WHAT YOU DO. I COULDN'T LIVE THAT WAY. IN MY LINE OF WORK, I CAN'T ALLOW MYSELF TO GET TOO CLOSE. WHAT IF YOU MET SOMEONE... AND THERE'S A SPARK? WOULD YOU IGNORE IT? COULD YOU? I WOULD, UH... CONCENTRATE ON GETTING THE JOB DONE. I GOT TO HEAD OVER TO DOUG'S. I'LL CALL YOU AS SOON AS I KNOW ANYTHING. OKAY. WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG, SAM? ARE YOU LOSING YOUR TOUCH? I DIDN'T KNOW DOUG WOULD HAVE A NINE-PIN DIMPLE LOCK -- YOU KNOW, THE NEW KIND, THE KIND I HAVEN'T PRACTICED ON? OKAY, MY FINGERS ARE BLEEDING NOW. THERE'S SOME PAIN INVOLVED. YOU KNOW, THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE AROUND HERE WITH BARS ON ITS WINDOWS. I WONDER WHAT DOUG WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT. COME ON, BABY. THERE BETTER BE SOMETHING GOOD IN HERE. THERE WE GO. GOT IT. LOOKS LIKE HE DIDN'T LEAVE MUCH. I'VE WORKED WITH LESS. CHECK FOR BILLS. BUNCH OF JUNK MAIL, MAGAZINES. HELLO. HEY, HERE'S A QUIZ. IT TELLS YOU HOW TO PICK YOUR MATE BASED ON WHAT YOU EAT. OKAY, MIKE, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE MEAT? PLEASURE READING LATER, SAM. OH, YOU'RE NO FUN. MIKE, TWO GUYS WITH GUNS COMING FAST. THEY MUST HAVE BEEN WATCHING THE HOUSE. THEY'VE GOT THE BACK COVERED. AAH, NOTHING. JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE NO WINDOWS OR DOORS DOESN'T MEAN THERE ARE NO EXITS. THE THING TO LOOK FOR IS AN AIR-CONDITIONER UNIT. THAT'S WHERE THE WALL IS WEAKEST. ALSO, PEOPLE WATCH DOORS. THEY DON'T WATCH AIR CONDITIONERS. Fiona: OH, THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS. SHE SAID IT WAS AN EMERGENCY. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? BE HER KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR, OF COURSE. EVELYN, THIS IS FIONA. WE WORK TOGETHER. FIONA, THANK YOU. PLEASURE. EVELYN. WHAT HAPPENED? I WENT TO THE COURTHOUSE TO TRY TO GET AN EMERGENCY CUSTODY HEARING. SOME GUYS WERE AT MY CAR. THEY KNOCKED ME DOWN. HOW MANY MEN WERE THERE? TWO, I THINK. YOU THINK? COULD THERE HAVE BEEN MORE? PROBABLY THE SAME GUYS THAT CAME BY DOUG'S PLACE. MICHAEL, IF JASPER'S CAUGHT UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF. PLEASE, YOU'VE GOT TO BRING HIM HOME. IT'S ALL RIGHT NOW. IT'S OKAY. I'M SORRY. IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S OKAY. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TRADEMARK WESTEN EMOTIONAL DISTANCE? SHE WAS UPSET. OBVIOUSLY. WHERE'S YOUR HEAD AT? FI, IF YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME, YOU CAN'T HAVE THIS ATTITUDE. ATTITUDE? IF YOU'RE GONNA BE LIKE THIS, I THINK I'M ENTITLED. MAYBE I SHOULD DO THIS ONE ALONE, THEN. MAYBE YOU SHOULD. I'LL DRIVE YOU HOME. I'LL GET THERE MYSELF. OKAY, MIKE. TELL ME I'M A GENIUS. YOU'RE A GENIUS. COME ON, YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT. REMEMBER THE MAIL WE WERE SORTING AT DOUG'S PLACE -- OUTDOOR LIFE, FIELD STREAM. IT GOT ME THINKING. OUTDOOR TYPES ALWAYS GO BACK TO THE WOODS. SO I GOT AHOLD OF A BUDDY OF MINE. HE'S AT THE COAST GUARD. HE KNOWS A GUY IN PARK SERVICE, AND I SAID, "THERE'S A COUPLE OF BOTTLES OF PATR_N IN IT FOR YOU --" JUST TELL ME, SAM. STATE PARKS HAS A RECORD OF DOUG'S LICENSE PLATE AT MANGROVE CAMPGROUND. KEYS? YEAH. I'D GO THERE WITH YOU, BUT VERONICA SORT OF SET UP A MINI VACATION IN BOCA -- ONE OF THOSE SWIMMING-WITH-THE-DOLPHINS -- I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT, SAM. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU FOUND HIM SO QUICKLY. THAT'S AMAZING. MY FRIEND SAM MAY HAVE BRUISED A COUPLE OF FEDERAL STATUTES ALONG THE WAY, BUT NOTHING A BOTTLE OF TEQUILA CAN'T SMOOTH OVER. WELL, HE WON'T GET IN TROUBLE? WE FOUND HIM. THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT. I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU. IS THAT LOADED? YEAH. YOU'RE NOT GONNA BRING THAT WHEN YOU GO GET JASPER, RIGHT? IT'LL BE FINE. TRUST ME. THIS IS IT? WHAT DO WE DO NOW? I DON'T WANT ANYBODY GETTING HURT. NO MATTER WHAT YOU SEE, STAY IN THE CAR UNTIL I SAY. OKAY. THANK YOU. WHERE'S YOUR SON? WHERE'S JASPER? LOOK,THIS IS ABOUT ME. I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. JUST DON'T GO AFTER MY SON. YOU PEOPLE KILLED MY WIFE. ISN'T THAT ENOUGH? THE BASIC RULE OF COVERT OPS IS LET SOMEONE ELSE DO YOUR DIRTY WORK. LET SOMEONE ELSE FIND THE GUY YOU WANT TO KILL. IT'S A GREAT TECHNIQUE AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT THE SOMEONE ELSE. evelyn the assassin doug the new client WHERE'S YOUR SON? WHAT, YOU COME HERE TO KILL ME -- I'M NOT HERE TO KILL YOU. THAT WOMAN OUT THERE IS. WHO'S SHE? I NEED YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM THE WINDOWS. WHERE IS YOUR SON? HE'S NOT HERE. I SENT HIM TO STAY WITH FRIENDS. THAT IS ONE THING THAT HAS GONE RIGHT TODAY. MY NAME IS MICHAEL, AND I'M HERE TO HELP YOU. Evelyn: EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT IN THERE,MICHAEL? Doug: WHAT IS SHE DOING? Michael: SHE'LL WAIT FOR US TO MAKE A MOVE AND PICK US OFF WHEN WE DO. I NEED A SCREWDRIVER. SHOULDN'T WE CALL THE PARK RANGERS? UNLESS THE PARK RANGERS HAVE BEEN ISSUED BODY ARMOR AND HIGH-CALIBER WEAPONS, WE'RE ON OUR OWN HERE. SHE MUST HAVE DISABLED MY GUN WHEN WE STOPPED FOR GAS. REMOVE THE TRIGGER-BAR SPRING FROM A SIG SAUER P228, AND YOU'VE GOT A 9-MILLIMETER SEMIAUTOMATIC DOORSTOP. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE PLAYING AT, BUT THIS IS NOT A GAME YOU CAN WIN. DOUG,I NEED A PAPER CLIP. DO YOU HAVE ONE? I DON'T HAVE A PAPER CLIP. WELL,DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING LIKE A PAPER CLIP -- A THIN PIECE OF METAL -- WAIT. NEVER MIND. KILL HIM YOURSELF, IF YOU WANT. ? WE NEED TO WRAP THIS THING UP. YOU FIXED IT? HARDLY. I MIGHT GET ONE SHOT OFF. YOU HAVE ONE CHANCE TO SHOOT HER? I'M NOT GONNA SHOOT HER. [ ENGINE REVS ] WAIT. IS SHE LEAVING? I SERIOUSLY DOUBT THAT. DO YOU HAVE ANY DUCT TAPE? HOLD THAT THERE. WHEN I SAY,"NOW," YOU'RE GONNA OPEN THAT DOOR. NOW! SHOOT A PROPANE TANK, AND YOU'LL JUST GET A BIG POT OF COLD GAS. YOU NEED AN OPEN FLAME AND REAL GOOD AIM. GET DOWN! YEAH,SAM, I HAD TO DRIVE AROUND, MAKE SURE WE WEREN'T FOLLOWED. SHE COULD BE ANYWHERE NOW. GOT TO GO. WHAT'S HAPPENING? WE'LL GET TO THAT. I NEED TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE WANTS YOU DEAD. IT'S A LONG STORY. WELL,IT'S A LONG STORY THAT STARTS WITH GREENWAY CARGO,RIGHT? GIVE ME THE SHORT VERSION FOR NOW. I WAS THE CONTROLLER -- MOSTLY WROTE CHECKS, DID INVOICES. IT WAS A JOB. I'VE BEEN A CPA FOR 15 YEARS. NEED TO GET TO THE MARKED-FOR-DEATH PART. AFTER A WHILE, I REALIZED I WAS PAYING VENDORS I HAD NEVER HEARD OF FOR CARGO THAT WAS NEVER DELIVERED. FRONT COMPANIES? THEY WERE INTO ALL KINDS OF STUFF -- WEAPONS,IVORY,HUMAN CARGO. THAT'S WHAT THE FBI SAID. ANYWAY, THEY CAME TO MY HOUSE, SAID THEY WERE INVESTIGATING THE COMPANY,INVESTIGATING ME. UNLESS YOU TESTIFY? I DIDN'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED, BUT THEY SAID I'D GO TO JAIL. I SAID I'D THINK ABOUT IT. THEN THINGS STARTED HAPPENING. THINGS? WHAT THINGS? I HAD PEOPLE FOLLOWING ME, PHONE CALLS, GUYS WATCHING MY HOUSE. THEN MY WIFE GOES OUT IN MY CAR. THEY SAID IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, BUT I SENT JASPER AWAY, AND I RAN. WHO ARE THEY? THEY'RE YOUR NEW BEST FRIENDS. STAY HERE. HA,WELL,WHAT A PIECE OF WORK SHE IS. SO EVELYN USED YOU TO DO THE GRUNT WORK TO TRACK HIM DOWN. SHE SHOWS UP AND FINISHES THE JOB. AND WHEN SHE KILLS HIM, EVERYONE COMES LOOKING FOR YOU. SHE SEEMED SO NICE. MIKE,SHE WENT THROUGH LUCY TO GET TO YOU. YEAH,CALL LUCY. EVELYN'S NOT THE TYPE TO LEAVE LOOSE ENDS. RIGHT. OH,ALMOST FORGOT, THAT'S FOR YOU. EVELYN HAS THE CHARGER? YEAH, IT'S GONNA NEED SOME WORK. AND YOUR GUN? REMOVED THE TRIGGER-BAR SPRING. OH,THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING YOU WOULD DO. YOU GUYS DO REALLY HAVE A LOT IN COMMON,DON'T YOU? LOOK,FI, I KNOW YOU'RE ENJOYING THIS. BUT NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO SAY "I TOLD YOU SO." THIS ISN'T LIKE YOU, MICHAEL. I KNOW. FIONA,I NEED YOUR HELP. OH,SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA HANDLE THIS ONE ON YOUR OWN. YOU JUST COULDN'T HELP YOURSELF, COULD YOU? SADLY,NO. TAKE DOUG BACK TO THE LOFT. LOCK HIM DOWN TIGHT. YOU CAN HANDLE THAT,RIGHT? HAVE I EVER LET YOU DOWN? BE CAREFUL,FI. DON'T WORRY,MICHAEL. I NEVER LET MY GUARD DOWN. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T GET AHOLD OF HER? SHE DOESN'T HAVE SOME KIND OF A -- YEAH,ALL RIGHT, WELL,KEEP TRYING. MIKE,SHE'S IN SOME KIND OF A MEETING WITH A NEW CLIENT THAT JUST CALLED THIS MORNING. I MEAN,IT MIGHT BE NOTHING. IT'S NOT GONNA BE NOTHING,SAM. HELLO? Evelyn: Michael,if I had known you were this much fun to work with, I would have come to Miami sooner. I'M GLAD ONE OF US IS HAVING FUN. You're not missing the damsel in distress,are you? "Michael,my son! I'm afraid! Please,Michael!" You changed. This is more my style. Oh,for crying out loud, I'm not gonna shoot you here. Besides,I need you. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S GOING TO TELL ME WHERE DOUG IS. OH,HERE. YOUR CAR IS IN THE CAMPGROUND PARKING LOT. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO TO RESOLVE OUR PROBLEM? WELL,I THINK OUR PROBLEMS ARE A LITTLE DIFFERENT, BUT,YES, LET'S RESOLVE THEM. YOU KNOW,YOU AND I HAVE A VERY SPECIAL CONNECTION. I'M NOT EVEN SURE WHO I'M TALKING TO. OH,WE MET, IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING -- ISTANBUL ABOUT SIX YEARS AGO. JULY,SEVEN YEARS AGO -- YOU TOOK OUT THOSE TWO DIPLOMATS. YES. YOU KNOW HOW CLOSE YOU CAME TO CATCHING ME? NOW,THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE. AND EVER SINCE THEN, I'VE KEPT TABS ON YOU. YOU MIGHT SAY I'VE BECOME A FAN. I HEARD YOU GOT BURNED AND GOT THIS GIG IN MIAMI. SO THE STARS JUST KIND OF LINED UP. I LIKE THE NEW LOOK. AND YOUR BRUISE,IT HEALED. YEAH,WELL, THAT WAS TEMPORARY. I'VE BEEN STUDYING UP ON YOU. IT'S NOT EASY WITH SOMEONE AS SECRETIVE AS YOU ARE. BUT,OF COURSE,THINGS GOT A LOT EASIER WHEN YOU GOT BURNED. YOU'RE NOT CLASSIFIED MATERIAL ANYMORE. LUCKY YOU. 'CAUSE I LEARNED SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR EARLY YEARS. YOUR DADDY WAS MEAN,HMM? SO I FIGURED AN ABUSIVE HUSBAND AND A TROUBLED BUT GIFTED SON -- WELL,THAT WOULD BE MOTIVATING. ENOUGH ABOUT ME - - LET'S TALK ABOUT YOU. NO,I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. YOU KNOW,I DON'T THINK THAT WE SHOULD WASTE ALL YOUR HARD WORK. WHAT SAY WE SPLIT THE FEE? YOU JUST TELL ME WHERE HE IS. I WILL DO ALL THE REST. IT'S EASY MONEY. EVELYN,I APPRECIATE ALL THE EFFORT YOU'VE PUT INTO THIS, BUT THERE COMES A TIME WHERE YOU HAVE TO WALK AWAY. COME ON. ISN'T THERE SOMETHING I CAN DO TO PERSUADE YOU? THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO. YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MIAMI? APART FROM YOU,OF COURSE. THE CHEAP LABOR. YOU KNOW,I CAN GET A KID OFF THE STREET TO DO A HIT FOR ABOUT A GRAND. WELL,IF I FLIRT WITH HIM A LITTLE. SAY,NOW,ISN'T THAT LUCY? LUCY! MICHAEL,I AM SO SORRY. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. YES,IT IS. YOU TAUGHT ME BETTER THAN THAT. I'M SO STUPID. I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE THOROUGH. I'VE GOT GUYS HEADED TO HER HOTEL RIGHT NOW. IT WON'T MATTER. I KNOW. I JUST FEEL LIKE I SHOULD DO SOMETHING. YOU SHOULD. YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL BECAUSE SHE'S STILL OUT THERE. [ CELLPHONE RINGS ] RIGHT ON TIME. YEAH? Evelyn: Change your mind? ENOUGH OF THIS. YOU WANT A DEAL, YOU DEAL WITH ME. YOU LEAVE LUCY OUT OF IT. Done. Lucy has no more to fear from me. You see, I can be reasonable. Of course, I still have a job to do. And the next target will have to be Sam or Fiona or... or - - I know - - Mommy. Sooner or later, I'll find someone you care about more than Doug. So you call me when you want it to stop. SHE'S NOT LEAVING TOWN, IS SHE? THAT WOULD BE A NO. Doug: IF SHE KNOWS ALL THIS ABOUT YOU, SHE'LL PROBABLY COME HERE. SHE WON'T PLAY THIS OUT ON MY TURF. SHE'LL KEEP THE PRESSURE ON UNTIL SHE GETS AN OPENING. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. I'M A CPA,FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. A CPA BROUGHT DOWN AL CAPONE. THERE'S A REASON WHY THE FEDS WANT YOU TO TESTIFY. I SAY WE HUNT HER DOWN. AMMUNITION'S CHEAP. FI,IF WE GO OUT THERE WITHOUT A PLAN,WE'RE EXPOSED. SHE'S MORE THAN HAPPY TO KEEP KILLING PEOPLE UNTIL WE HAND DOUG OVER. SHE CAN COME AFTER ME. I'M READY. YEAH? WHAT ABOUT SAM? I'M GAME,MIKE. WHAT ABOUT IF SHE COMES AFTER MY MOM? MY BROTHER? DOUG'S SON,JASPER? SO WE JUST SIT HERE AND WAIT? FOR ONCE, SHE'S RIGHT,MIKE. WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING. WE'RE GONNA HAND HIM OVER TO THE U.S. ATTORNEY, GET HIM INTO WITNESS PROTECTION. WON'T SHE STILL COME AFTER YOU? WE'LL DEAL WITH THAT LATER. SAM,I NEED YOU TO CALL THE U.S. ATTORNEY. TELL THEM WE'RE BRINGING DOUG IN TOMORROW MORNING. I'M ON IT. AND SOMEBODY NEEDS TO GO TO MY MOM, SEE THAT SHE'S SAFE, MAKE HER HOUSE SECURE. YOU THINK SHE'S COOKED DINNER YET? I'M SURE SHE'LL HEAT SOMETHING UP FOR YOU,SAM. WELL,THEN, I'M ON THAT,TOO. FI,I NEED YOU TO PREP AN ARMED ESCORT. DOUG,I NEED YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM THE WINDOWS. YOU SAY THIS IS JUST A PRECAUTION? OH,YEAH,IT'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. UM,SAY, THIS IS A LITTLE EMBARRASSING, BUT ME AND MY LADY FRIEND HAD A FALLING OUT. AND,WELL,LIKE,MIKE THOUGHT MAYBE IT WOULD BE OKAY IF I CRASHED HERE FOR THE NIGHT. SAM,I'M NOT AN IDIOT. YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON? WELL,SEE, THERE WAS THIS LADY, AND SHE WAS MAKING SOME THREATS. AGAINST ME? NOT SPECIFICALLY - - I MEAN, YOUR NAME CAME UP, BUT IT WAS MORE LIKE A HYPOTHETICAL-TYPE THING, SO IT'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. BUT MIKE WANTED ME TO STAY HERE AND GIVE YOU SOME SELF-DEFENSE POINTERS IN CASE I HAD TO LEAVE. YOU GONNA LEAVE THIS HERE WHEN YOU GO? OKAY,BE CAREFUL,OKAY, BECAUSE THAT'S LOADED. YEAH. MICHAEL'S FATHER HAD A WINCHESTER SINGLE-SHOT. I THINK I MAY STILL HAVE IT. SO,YOU WANT A BEER? YOU KIDDING? DOUG IS SLEEPING PEACEFULLY. YOU GAVE HIM SOMETHING. MAYBE. WELL,HALF OF SOMETHING. SAM GOT IN TOUCH WITH HIS BUDDY AT THE U.S. ATTORNEY'S. WE'RE BRINGING DOUG IN TOMORROW MORNING. GREAT. WE CAN TALK,FINALLY. THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT. YOU WERE RIGHT. I WAS WRONG. I'M SORRY. IT ISN'T THAT SIMPLE, MICHAEL. YOU THINK YOU CAN LET THE JOB BE WHO YOU ARE -- ALL YOU ARE -- AND YOU CAN'T. IT'S DANGEROUS TO THINK THAT YOU CAN. I KNOW I CAN BE... PASSIONATE, BUT I'M GOOD AT WHAT I DO. I KNOW. IT'S NO SECRET THAT THINGS BETWEEN US HAVE BEEN -- A LITTLE ROCKY. IT ISN'T EASY FOR ME, EITHER. EVELYN COMES ALONG, AND SHE'S ATTRACTIVE, SWEET,NEEDY. DON'T DENY IT,MICHAEL. FINE. ISN'T IT INTERESTING THAT SHE TURNED OUT TO BE... WHO SHE TURNED OUT TO BE? WHAT SHALL WE MAKE OF THAT? YOU MADE YOUR POINT,FI. DID I? YEP,YOU DID. WHAT ABOUT D.C.? YOU STILL GOING? I HAVE TO. IF I DON'T,IT WON'T BE LONG BEFORE COWAN SENDS SOMEONE ELSE DOWN HERE TO KILL ME. I NEED HIM TO KNOW THAT I CAN GET TO HIM,TOO. AND I NEED HIM TO KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW. AND YOU NEED HELP, AND YOU KNOW IT. I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. IS THAT A TACTICAL JUDGMENT OR A PERSONAL ONE? BOTH - - EVERYBODY I KNOW IS IN DANGER RIGHT NOW, EVERYONE I'M CLOSE TO. WELL... I'M WILLING TO RISK IT... IF YOU ARE. HOW'S MY MOM? LOCKED UP COZY WITH A CIGARETTE AND A SHOTGUN, READY TO KILL ANYTHING THAT COMES THROUGH THE DOOR. HERE YOU GO,DOUG - - MY LUCKY VEST. IT WILL LOOK GREAT OVER MY SHIRT. thanks IT'S A LITTLE WORN, BUT IT WILL DO THE TRICK. ARE THESE BULLET HOLES? YEAH, I BROKE IT IN FOR YOU. IT'S A SHORT RIDE TO THE U.S. ATTORNEY'S OFFICE. JUST THINK OF IT AS A PRECAUTION,LIKE A SEAT BELT. A SEAT BELT THAT SMELLS LIKE OLD SPICE AND BOURBON. EASY,NOW. ASSASSINATION IS 1% SHOOTING, 99% PREPARATION -- ANTICIPATING MOVES, DEVISING APPROACHES, RECRUITING SOURCES, FINDING THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY SO THE BULLET'S ALMOST AN AFTERTHOUGHT. USUALLY,THAT'S WHEN A TARGET IS ON THE MOVE -- WHEN THERE ARE TOO MANY VARIABLES TO CONTROL THEM ALL. WE SHOULD GET OUT OF HERE. MICHAEL,WHATEVER HAPPENS, THANK YOU. YEAH,YOU CAN THANK ME BY KEEPING YOUR HEAD DOWN AND STAYING AWAY FROM WINDOWS,OKAY? THERE ARE WAYS TO LESSEN THE RISK AN ARMED ESCORT, TAKING AN UNPREDICTABLE ROUTE TO YOUR DESTINATION, HAVING BACKUP IN A TRAIL CAR. BUT ULTIMATELY, AS LONG AS THE ASSASSIN KNOWS WHERE YOU'RE GOING, THEY HAVE THE UPPER HAND. THE POINT IS THE THING WORKS. IT'S ONE OF THE FEW THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT'S NEVER LET ME DOWN. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO STOP A GOOD ASSASSIN FROM FINDING AN OPENING AND TAKING A SHOT. THE BEST YOU CAN DO IS CONTROL WHERE THE BEST OPENING IS. AND SOMETIMES,THAT'S ENOUGH. Michael: DROP IT. YOU SET ME UP. BRAVO. PUT IT DOWN,EVELYN. HEY,I CAN STILL DO THIS. DID I TELL YOU HOW MUCH THIS JOB PAYS? YOU COULD BUY SOMEPLACE DECENT TO LIVE, EVEN AT MIAMI PRICES. PUT THE RIFLE DOWN. HOW DID YOU KNOW I'D BE HERE? I FIGURED YOU HAD A SOURCE IN THE U.S. ATTORNEY'S OFFICE. YOU KNEW DOUG WAS THINKING ABOUT TESTIFYING. I COUNT SIX DIFFERENT VANTAGE POINTS WITH A BETTER VIEW OF THAT ENTRANCE. HOW DID YOU KNOW I'D BE AT THIS ONE? ISTANBUL WASN'T THAT LONG AGO. YOU LIKE ROOFTOPS OVER WINDOWS. YOU LIKE ANGLES WITH THE TARGET ON YOUR RIGHT-HAND SIDE BECAUSE YOU'RE LEFT-HANDED. THAT'S RIGHT. I KNEW I LIKED YOU. PUT IT ON. MICHAEL,IS THIS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT? HUH? HELPING OUT CIVILIANS WITH THEIR LITTLE PROBLEMS, TRYING TO GET YOUR GOVERNMENT JOB BACK? PATHETIC. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT. LET'S GO. WE HAVE A BIG DAY AHEAD OF US. I'VE GOT TO TURN YOU IN. THERE WILL BE QUESTIONS. IT WILL BE PAST LUNCH BEFORE WE'RE DONE. TURN ME IN. A LOT OF SECRETS, A LOT OF ENEMIES -- I THINK IT WOULD BE A SHORT STAY,DON'T YOU? NOW,DON'T YOU THINK WE COULD COME TO AN ARRANGEMENT? I DON'T THINK SO. NOW,BE HONEST WITH ME. IF CIRCUMSTANCES WERE DIFFERENT DO YOU THINK THAT WE COULD... NOT IN THIS LIFETIME. MAYBE THE NEXT ONE,THEN. THE INDICTMENTS CAME DOWN YESTERDAY. THAT WAS QUICK. THEY FOUND A LEAK IN THE U.S. ATTORNEY'S OFFICE, AND EVELYN,WOW -- THEY'RE GONNA BE WORKING UP HER FILE FOR YEARS. SHE WAS A VERY,VERY BAD GIRL. I MANAGED TO KEEP YOU OUT OF IT SO FAR. IT'S GONNA TAKE SOME WORK. I APPRECIATE THAT,LUCY. DON'T SAY I NEVER DID ANYTHING FOR YOU. I NEVER WOULD. DID SHE SAY ANYTHING BEFORE... SHE WISHED THAT THINGS HAD TURNED OUT... DIFFERENTLY. TELL ME ABOUT DOUG AND JASPER. ON THEIR WAY TO A NEW LIFE IN AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION. HE'S GONNA HAVE TO COME BACK FOR TRIAL. HE WANTED YOU TO HAVE THAT. AND I HAVE ANOTHER PRESENT FOR YOU. IT'S YOUR NEW IDENTITY. IT SHOULD GET YOU TO D.C. OR WHEREVER. THANK YOU,LUCY. IT'S THE LEAST I COULD DO - - AND YOUR CAR, WHATEVER IT COSTS TO REPAIR, I WANT TO REIMBURSE YOU. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I'M NOT GONNA BE IN MIAMI THAT MUCH LONGER. WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN? MAYBE. LUCY. SAM. SO,IS THAT YOUR NEW I.D.? YEP. I COULD GET INTO THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS ROOM WITH THESE DOCUMENTS. I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT. WHY IS THAT? I JUST GOT A CALL FROM A BUDDY. ONE OF THE GUYS I ASKED TO KEEP AN EYE OUT ON THIS BURN-NOTICE BUSINESS TOLD ME YOU MIGHT WANT TO RETHINK YOUR TRIP TO D.C. WHY? WHAT DID HE SAY? THE GUY WHO BURNED YOU -- IT TURNS OUT YOU DON'T NEED TO GO UP THERE TO SEE HIM BECAUSE... WELL,HE'S COMING DOWN HERE TO SEE YOU. SEE ME? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I DON'T KNOW. JUST A HEADS-UP. WELL,IT LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA HAVE TO GET ? My name is Michael Westen. I used to be a spy until- - We got a burn notice on you. You're blacklisted. When you're burned, you've got nothing- no cash, no credit, no job history. - You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in. - Where am I? Miami. You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who's still talking to you a trigger-happy ex-girlfriend- - Should we shoot them? an old friend who's informing on you to the F.B.I. You know spies. Bunch of bitchy little girls. - Family too- - Hey, is that your mom again? - if you're desperate. - Someone needs your help, Michael. Bottom line: Until you figure out who burned you... you're not going anywhere. - What do you think of these shoes, Michael? Fantastic! I have just the right dress. - Are they real? - Well, they look real. Isn't that what counts? You're getting a fake identity, Michael.I can't get fake shoes? Place is up here somewhere. You know, you go ahead. I'm gonna- Oh, that's pretty. A fake identity is known in the spy trade as a false flag. Used to be you could make your own documents with a printer and a laminator. These days, though, I.D.'s have magnetic strips,holograms and infrared watermarks. - Hey. - You need a pro. -Yes. What can I do for you? -I lost my passport and driver's license. I heard, uh, I could get some new ones here. All you gotta do is report 'em stolen. They'll send you replacements. Right. But the thing is... I'm going on a trip soon, and I heard you could do it here more quickly... and more quietly. That might be possible- for a fee. A fee is not an issue. Come on back. Ah, I don't get much call for the good stuff anymore. Most of my business is just teenagers, you know... trying to get past a bouncer at a titty bar. Titty bar. Got no appreciation for art. You know? Give me your right hand. How about folding your sleeve back? This stuff gets on your shirt, it'll never come out. And slide these on for me, if you don't mind. This, uh-This is you, isn't it? Uh, kind of hard to tell from here. Put those on for me, if you don't mind. In some situations, a tactical retreat is your best option. Listen, bud. I'm sorry as I can be about this, but, uh... a guy like me don't stay in business very long... unless he slips the F.B.I. a bone every now and then, and let's face it... - you're a big old soupbone. - I'm flattered. Yeah. They come through here every now and then asking about you. A guy with a gun is a guy with a gun. You can fight him and risk someone getting shot or wait for backup. You gonna be my "get no hassles for a year"card. Yeah. Special Agent Allerot. Yeah. Tell him it's Jumbo. Well, how manyJumbos you think he knows? Hi, honey! Look at the deal I got on these shoes.You're not gonna believe it. Lady. Lady, you can't be back here. - Get out of here. Get out of here. - Oh. Now. Sorry, I just wanted to show my boyfriend my fake shoes. - Now! - She's pregnant. What? Ah! - Pregnant? - It worked. - Where you goin'? - My shoe! Oh! Well, they clash with my dress anyway. You know, I was thinking... we could do some vacationy things... when we go to D.C. You know? Make the most of our trip. Where's my lockpick set? You know, maybe a fancy dinner one night, take in some of the sights. I'm gonna confront a man who tried to have me killed. It's not a weekend getaway, Fi. - We can mix business with pleasure. - It was right here. Fi, the thing about D.C.- Is that you're going to need backup. Don't tell me you'd rather have Sam. - We can't talk about this right now. - Why not? Because I have a hard time focusing when I'm in handcuffs! Would this help? Another fine illustration of your need for tactical assistance. Admit it, Michael. You need me. You don't even have your own hairpin. I do now. You happy? Well, yeah, I know a few guys who do I.D. work, Mike... but, you know, the feds are gonna be all over them too, especially now. Feel 'em out for me, will ya? Mike, they said if you leave Miami, they're gonna pick you up. And D.C. - There's gonna be someone there who is gonna recognize you. The best fake I.D. in the world isn't gonna change that. The guy that burned me tried to have me killed. As long as I'm in Miami, he can find me. I'll take my chances in D.C. You know who might be able to help... is Lucy. She called a while back with a job... but you were pretty busy with this whole burn notice business, but now- - What's the job? - Well, I don't know the details... but I do know that she works with some real artistes. These are the kind of guys who can give you a whole new life to go with your I.D. - You interested? - Let's give her a call. Corporations need spies just like governments do. Of course, they're not called spies. They're called security consultants. They're basically mercenaries with nice suits. Your offices just keep getting better and better. It's good to see you, Michael. What have you been up to? Little of this, little of that. Haven't you been getting your reports from your F.B.I. buddies? I didn't tell them anything they couldn't find out for themselves. If you tell them, they don't have to find out for themselves, do they? What? Uh, I- You were the one that trained me in the delicate art of giving people useless information. I said nice things, for what it's worth. Thank you. You have a job for me? A woman I met. Evelyn. She heard I worked security. She asked me for help. I guess her ex ran off with their son. We ran checks, credit cards, airlines, got nothing. Somebody's gonna have to do some legwork... but a job that small, not really our thing. You thought of me. I would consider it a favor if you took the job,and the money's not bad. - Money's not the pressing issue. - Why? What do you need? - Identity. - Not for traveling. Michael, if you leave Miami- I can't help you with that kind of thing. Seriously. Lucy. Lucy. Fine. Get your documents together, I'll have my guys do an I.D. package. Go see Evelyn first. Thanks. I separated from Doug a few months ago. I tried to keep it together forJasper's sake, but-That's our son. But it was hard on him listening to us fight all the time. He started acting up at school. Then Doug turned on him, and I wasn't gonna let that happen. - I'm sure you made the right decision. - He took him. He just picked him up early at school one day, and he disappeared. Did you call the police? Yeah. Every day. But technically, we're still married, and he is Jasper's father... so without a custody order, they can't do anything. Oh, please. I cannot wait for the courts to sort this out. Do you have any idea where he might have taken him? None. I have no idea, 'cause I've hardly spoken to him in months. Do you have pictures? Yeah. That's Jasper. Please. Lucy said you could find him. I need to know that he's okay, and I want him back. I'm gonna find him. One of the things you learn in training... is to avoid situations that cut too close. If you had a rough childhood... a situation with an abusive father and a vulnerable kid is gonna make you angry. That can be motivating, but it can also be dangerous. Well, she's a looker. What's the story? - Husband ran off with her kid. - You all right, Mike? I'm gonna find this guy. Facts are the hallmark of a good false identity. It's harder to create history than it is to alter it. Plus, the more truth to your lie... the easier it is to remember. I don't see you for weeks,and you start going through the closets? -What are you looking for? -Where is that box you used to keep all my stuff in? - The memory box? - Sounds about right. I don't remember. I'm kidding. Excuse me. Oh, God. Look. First place. The trophy was bigger than you were. Can we speed this up, Ma? I need my medical records and my birth certificate. All right. Here. How about your report card, huh? You could have been valedictorian... if you hadn't been suspended so many times for getting into fights. - I never could figure- - Mom, I don't need my report card. - Your father used to get so angry. - I don't want to talk about Dad. - I just need my stuff. - Fine. Here. All right? -I don't want you to think you're keeping those. -No, I'm just gonna make copies. I'm gonna take a trip. Work. The last time you said that, you left for 10 years, Michael. It's not that kind. Did you ever think about leaving, Mom? What? Did it ever get bad enough with Dad... that you thought about leaving? Of course I did. I wanted to keep the family together, Michael. Through the good and the bad. You kids were so cute. Well, it's like Lucy said. Chances are he's probably still in the area. There's no recent credit card activity, no car rentals. The only blip, Mike, is where he works. Greenway Worldwide Cargo off of 57 th. Talked to my A.T.F. buddy. There's, some kind of investigation. Uh, some link to organized crime. Great. U.S. Attorney's office is all over it. Left a message, haven't heard back, and that's about it. I should, uh- I should go talk to Evelyn. Well, you just talked to her, Mike. Yeah, but she was a little flustered the last time. She might have forgotten something. I thought you had to get those documents to Lucy. Your fake I.D. Yeah, I'll do it later. Something I should know, Sam? - About what, Fi? - About why Michael's acting this way. What way? He seems fine to me. Tell me about this new client. You know, I just remembered, I gotta get Mike some yogurt. You know, 'cause if I don't do that, boy, it's just-You know how he is. He never mentioned trouble at work. - You think there could be a connection? - Could be. You hear "A.T.F. investigation," it raises flags. Well, I wish I could be more helpful. Sorry. You should just focus on getting your son back.It's the best way to deal with it. Evelyn, I think you're stronger than you realize. Then maybe I should have just stuck with it. You know, what would have happened if- if I had have pretended that everything was all right? But I didn't want my family to be a lie- not forJasper, not for me. You're doing the best thing. Believe me. I know a little something about this. I've stayed, and I've left, and sometimes leaving is what you have to do. Must be lonely, what you do. - I couldn't live that way. - In my line of work... I can't allow myself to get too close. What if you met someone? There's a spark. Would you ignore it? Could you? I would, uh... concentrate on getting the job done. I gotta head over to Doug's. I'll call you as soon as I know anything. Okay. What's taking so long, Sam? You losing your touch? I didn't know Doug would have a nine-pin dimple lock. You know, the new kind- the kind I haven't practiced on. Okay, my fingers are bleeding now. There's some pain involved. You know, this is the only place around here with bars on its windows. - I wonder what Doug was so worried about. - Come on, baby. There better be somethin' good in here. There we go. Got it. Looks like he didn't leave much. - Well, I've worked with less. - Check for bills. Bunch of junk mail. Magazines. Hello. Hey. Here's a quiz. Tells you how to pick your mate based on what you eat. Okay, Mike. What's your favorite meat? - Pleasure reading later, Sam. - Oh, you're no fun. Mike, two guys with guns coming fast. They must have been watching the house. They got the back covered. Nothin'. Just because there are no windows or doors... doesn't mean there are no exits. The thing to look for is the air-conditioner unit. That's where the wall is weakest. Also, people watch doors. They don't watch air conditioners. Ooh, the damsel in distress. She said it was an emergency. What do you want me to do? Be her knight in shining armor, of course. Evelyn, this is Fiona. We work together. - Hello. Thank you. - Pleasure. Evelyn. What happened? I went to the courthouse to try to get an emergency custody hearing. -Some guys were at my car. They knocked me down. -How many men were there? - Two, I think. - You think? Could there have been more? Probably the same guys that came by Doug's place. Michael, ifJasper's caught up in the middle of this, I will never forgive myself. Please, you gotta bring him home. It's all right. It's okay. I'm sorry. It's all right. It's okay. - What happened to the trademark Westen emotional distance? - She was upset. Obviously. Where's your head at? Fi... if you're gonna help me, you can't have this attitude. Attitude? If you're gonna be like this, I think I'm entitled to an attitude. - Maybe I should do this one alone then. - Maybe you should. - I'll drive you home. - No, I'll get there myself. Okay, Mike. - Tell me I'm a genius. - You're a genius. Come on. You can do better than that. Remember the mail we were sorting' through at Doug's place? Outdoor Life, Field Stream. Got me thinkin'. Outdoor types always go back to the woods. I got ahold of a buddy at the Coast Guard who knows a guy in Park Service... and I said, "Hey, there's a couple of good bottles of Patrón in it for you if"- - Just tell me, Sam. - State Parks has a record... of Doug's license plate at Mangrove Campground. - Keys. - Yeah. Now, look. I'd go there with you, but... Veronica sort of set up a mini vacation in Boca. - You know, one of those swimming' with the dolphins- - I'll take care of it. I can't believe that you found them so quickly. That's amazing. My friend Sam may have bruised a couple federal statutes along the way... but nothin' a gift-wrapped bottle of tequila can't smooth over. - Well, you won't get in trouble? - We found him. That's what's important. I knew I could count on you. - Is that loaded? - Yeah. Well, you're not gonna bring that with you when you go getJasper, right? It'll be fine. Trust me. This is it? What do we do now? I don't want anybody getting hurt. No matter what you see... stay in the car... until I say. Okay. Thank you. Where's your son? Where's Jasper? Look. This is about me. I'll do whatever you want. Just don't go after my son. You people killed my wife. Isn't that enough? A basic rule of covert ops... is let someone else do your dirty work. Let someone else find the guy you want to kill. Oh- It's a great technique... as long as you're not the someone else. Move! Move! Where's your son? - What? You come here to kill me and now- - I'm not here to kill you. - That woman out there is. - Who's she? I need you to stay away from the windows. - Where is your son? - He's not here. I sent him to stay with friends. That is one thing that has gone right today. My name is Michael, and I'm here to help you. - Everything all right in there, Michael? - What is she doing? She'll wait for us to make a move and pick us off when we do. I need a screwdriver. Shouldn't we call the park rangers? Unless the park rangers have been issued body armor... and high-caliber weapons, we're on our own here. She must have disabled my gun when we stopped for gas. Remove the trigger bar spring from a SIG Sauer P228... and you've got a nine-millimeter semiautomatic doorstop. I don't know what you think you're playing at, but this is not a game you can win. Doug, I need a paper clip. Got one? I don't have a paper clip. Well, do you have something like a paper clip,a thin piece of metal- Wait. Never mind. Kill him yourself if you want. - We need to wrap this thing up. - Oh. Fiona. - You fix it? - Hardly. I might get one shot off. - You got one chance to shoot her? - I'm not gonna shoot her. - Wait. - Is she leaving? I seriously doubt that. You have any duct tape? Hold that there. When I say "now," you're gonna open that door. Now! Shoot a propane tank and you'll just get a big cloud of cold gas. You need an open flame and real good aim. Get down! Yeah, Sam, I had to drive around, make sure we weren't followed. She could be anywhere now. Gotta go. - What's happening? - We'll get to that. - For now, I need to know why someone wants you dead. - It's a long story. Well, that's a long story that starts with Greenway Cargo, right? - Give me the short version for now. - I was the controller. Uh, mostly wrote checks, did invoices. It was a job. I've been a C.P.A. for 15 years. - Need to get to the marked for death part. - After a while... I realized I was paying vendors I'd never heard of... for cargo that was never delivered. - Front companies. - They were into all kinds of stuff- weapons, ivory, human cargo. Th-That's what the F.B.I. said. Anyway, they came to my house, said they were investigating the company, investigating me. - Unless you testify. - I didn't want to get involved, but they said I'd go to jail. I said I'd think about it. Then- things started happening. - Things? What things? - I had people following me... phone calls, guys watching my house. Then my wife... goes out in my car. Said it was an accident, but- I sentJasper away, and I ran. Who are they? They're your new best friends. Stay here. Ah. Well, what a piece of work she is. So, Evelyn used you to do the grunt work to track him down. She shows up and finishes the job. And when she kills him, everyone comes looking for you. She seemed so nice. Mike, she went through Lucy to get to you. - Yeah. Call Lucy. Evelyn's not the type to leave loose ends. - Right. Oh. Almost forgot. That's for you. - Evelyn has the Charger? - Yeah. It's gonna need some work. - And your gun? - Removed the trigger bar spring. Oh, that sounds like something you would do. You guys really do have a lot in common, don't ya? Look, Fi. I know you're enjoying this, but now's not the time to say "I told you so. " - This isn't like you, Michael. - Well, then go ahead- I know. Fiona... - I need your help. - Oh. You're not gonna handle this one on your own? You just couldn't help yourself, could you? Sadly, no. Take Doug back to the loft, lock him down tight. - You can handle that, right? - Have I ever let you down? - Be careful, Fi. - Don't worry, Michael. I never let my guard down. What the hell do you mean you can't get ahold of her? She doesn't have some kind of- Yeah? All right. Well, keep trying. Mike, she's in some kind of a meeting with a new client that just called this morning. I mean, it might be nothin'. It's not gonna be nothin', Sam. - Hello. - Michael, if I had known... you were this much fun to work with... I would have come to Miami sooner. I'm glad one of us is having fun. You're not missing the damsel in distress, are you? Michael, my son. I'm afraid. Please, Michael. Please. - You changed. - This is more my style. Oh, for crying out loud. I'm not gonna shoot you here. Besides, I need you. You're the one who's going to tell me where Doug is. Oh. Here. Your car is in the campground parking lot. What are we gonna do to resolve our problem? Well, I think our problems are a little different, but, yes, let's resolve them. You know, you and I have a very special connection. - I'm not even sure who I'm talking to. - Oh, we met... in a manner of speaking. Istanbul, about six years ago. July. Seven years ago. You took out those two diplomats. Yes. You know how close you came to catching me? That was impressive. And ever since then, I've kept tabs on you. You might say I've become a fan. I heard you got burned, and I got this gig in Miami, so... the stars just kind of lined up. I like the new look. And your bruise- it healed. Yeah. Well, that was temporary. I've been studying up on you. It's not easy with someone as secretive as you are, but, uh... of course, things got a lot easier when you got burned. - Not classified material anymore. - Lucky you. I learned something about your early years. Your daddy was mean. Mmm. So I figured an abusive husband and a troubled but gifted son- well, that would be motivating. Enough about me. Let's talk about you. No, I don't feel like it. You know, I don't think that we should waste all your hard work. What say we split the fee? You just tell me where he is, I will do all the rest. It's easy money. Evelyn, I appreciate all the effort you've put into this... but there comes a time where you have to walk away. Come on. Isn't there something I can do to persuade you? There's nothing you can do. Know what I love about Miami? Apart from you, of course. The cheap labor. You know, I can get a kid off the street to do a hit for about, mmm, grand. Well, if I flirt with him a little. Say, now, isn't that Lucy? Lucy! Lucy! - Michael, I am so sorry. - It's not your fault. Yes, it is. You taught me better than that. It was so stupid. I should have been more thorough. - I've got guys headed to her hotel right now. - It won't matter. I know. I just feel like I should do something. You should. You should be careful, 'cause she's still out there. Right on time. Yeah. - Change your mind? - Enough of this. You want to deal, you deal with me. You leave Lucy out of it. Done. Lucy has no more to fear from me. You see? I can be reasonable. Of course, I still have a job to do, and the next target will have to be Sam or Fiona or- I know. Mommy. Sooner or later, I'll find someone you care about more than Doug. So you call me when you want it to stop. She's not leaving town, is she? That'd be a no. If she knows all this about you, she'll probably come here. She won't play this out on my turf. She'll keep the pressure on until she gets an opening. I - I can't believe this. I'm a C.P.A., for Christ's sake. C.P.A. brought down Al Capone.There's a reason why the feds want you to testify. I say we hunt her down. Ammunition's cheap. Fi, if we go out there without a plan, we're exposed. She's more than happy to keep killing people until we hand Doug over. She can come after me. I'm ready. Yeah? - What about Sam? - I'm game, Mike. What about if she comes after my mom, my brother... Doug's son Jasper? - So we sit here and wait? - For once, she's right, Mike. We gotta do somethin'. We're gonna hand him over to the U.S. Attorney,get him into Witness Protection. - Won't she still come after you? - We'll deal with that later. Sam, I need you to call the U.S. Attorney. Tell them we're bringing Doug in tomorrow morning. - I'm on it. - And, uh... somebody needs to go to my mom... see that she's safe, make her house secure. - Think she's cooked dinner yet? - I'm sure she'll heat somethin' up for you, Sam. Well, then I'm on that too. Fi... I need you to prep an armed escort. Doug. I need you... to stay away from the windows. You say this is just a precaution? Oh, yeah. It's nothin' to worry about. Um, say, um, this is a little embarrassing, but, uh... me and my lady friend, uh, had a falling out, and... well, Mike thought maybe it would be okay if I, uh, crashed here for the night. Sam, I'm not an idiot. You want to tell me what's goin' on? Well, see, there was this lady, and she was making some threats. - Against me? - Not specifically. Well, I mean, your name came up, but it was more like a hypothetical type thing... so it's nothing to worry about, but Mike wanted me to stay here and give you some... you know, self-defense pointers in case I had to leave. You gonna leave this here with me when you go? Okay. Be careful, okay? 'Cause that's loaded. Yeah. Michael's father had a Winchester single-shot. I think I may still have it. So you want a beer? You kiddin'? Doug is sleeping peacefully. - You gave him something. - Maybe. Well, half of somethin'. Sam got in touch with his buddy at the U.S. Attorney's. Bringing Doug in tomorrow mornin'. Great. We can talk finally. There's nothing to talk about. You were right. I was wrong. I'm sorry. It isn't that simple, Michael. You think you can let the job be who you are... all you are, and you can't. It's dangerous to think that you can. I know I can be... passionate... - but I'm good at what I do. - I know. - It's no secret that things between us have been- - Little rocky. It isn't easy for me either. Evelyn comes along, and she's attractive... sweet, needy. Don't deny it. Fine. Isn't it interesting that she turned out to be... well, who she turned out to be? - What shall we make of that? - Made your point, Fi. - Did I? - Yep. You did. What about D.C.? - You still goin'? - I have to. If I don't, it won't be long before Cowan sends someone else here to kill me. I need him to know I can get to him too. I need him to know right now. And you need help. And you know it. I don't think that's a good idea. - Is that a tactical judgment or a personal one? - Both. Everybody I know is in danger right now- everyone I'm close to. Well... I'm willing to risk it... if you are. - How's my mom? - Locked up cozy and tight with a cigarette and a shotgun... ready to kill anything that comes through the door. - Here you go, Doug. My lucky vest. - It'll look great over my shirt. - Thanks. - It's a little worn, but it'll do the trick. - Are these bullet holes? - Yeah. I broke it in for you. It's a short ride to the U.S. Attorney's office. Just think of it as a precaution. It's like a seat belt. - Yeah. A seat belt that smells like Old Spice and bourbon. - Easy now. Assassination's one percent shooting, 99% preparation. Anticipating moves, devising approaches... recruiting sources... finding the perfect opportunity so the bullet's almost an afterthought. Usually that's when a target's on the move... when there are too many variables to control them all. - We should get out of here. - Michael, whatever happens, I just wanted to say thank you. You can thank me by keeping your head down... - and staying away from windows, okay? - Got it. There are ways to lessen the risk. An armed escort... taking an unpredictable route to your destination... having backup in a trail car. But ultimately, as long as the assassin... knows where you're going... they have the upper hand. The point is the thing works. It's one of the few things in my life that's never let me down. It's impossible to stop a good assassin... from finding an opening and taking a shot. The best you can do is control where the best opening is. And sometimes that's enough. Drop it. You set me up. - Bravo. - Put it down, Evelyn. Hey. I could still do this. Did I tell you how much this job pays? You could buy someplace decent to live- even at Miami prices. Put the rifle down. How'd you know I'd be here? I figured you had a source in the U.S. Attorney's office. You knew Doug was thinking about testifying. Now, I count six different vantage points with a better view of that entrance. - How'd you know I'd be at this one? - Istanbul wasn't that long ago. You like rooftops over windows... you like angles with the target on your right-hand side, 'cause you're left-handed. That's right. I knew I liked you. Put it on. Michael... is this what you really want, huh? Helping out civilians with their little problems... trying to get your government job back? It's pathetic. You're better than that. Let's go. We have a big day ahead of us. I gotta turn you in. There'll be questions. It'll be past lunch before we're done. Turn me in? Sure feels good not to be the gayest guy in the room, for once. No, you're still the gayest. Louis! Go kiss Eugene! So funny I forgot to laugh. Meanwhile... our plan is down the poopster. - Not necessarily. - What are you thinking, Gourishankar? You said Ralph's boss had a guy fired for being a homosex, right? We send these photos to Ralph's boss. He get Ralph fired for being a homosex. That create an opening with Mick Jagger. They fill that opening with their only floater, Mr. Rockefeller Butt. But wait a second, we can't just out this guy. Why can't we out a homosex? He's the enemy! Suddenly, all homosex, we must be friendly to? That's not the point. This particular homosex is one of us. - Ain't one of me. - We don't even have gay in India. Look, he's like a working stiff, juste like us guys, you know? And I got to know this guy, and I kinda like him, regardless of his private... weener business. All right? So we don't do that, we don't burn a guy like this, a nice guy, that's... That's just not the Knights of Prosperity way. Are you with me, Louis? I'm sorry, what? Wait a second... Hold on a second, yeah! Wait a minute, I got it. Yes, Eugene Gurkin's brain has figured it out once again! Ralph said his boss is cheating with his secretary. Squatch? Get your camera. So last night, I'm at the bar,I meet this girl, she's like a cross between... Miss December 1993, Alyssa Bridges, and Miss April 2004, Jamala Dissiza So I get her back to my place, right? ok, listen, everyone. As of today, Frank Cortland is no longer with Burton Security. - Oh, yeah? - Carnucci? I want you to take his place. - Yes, sir. - Good. But that leaves us one short to Mick Jagger's. Van Hoogstratten. See me in my office. What is it? You ok? I'm in! Congratulations! Now, let's go out the homosex. You know... The tall guy, Ralph? What? He's gay! Standing in the fog always gives me strange feelings. Yeah. This is something that only really happens in winter. But, I wonder if Saho can knows this place. Ah. Maybe the fog isn't a good thing if you are waiting to meet someone. Nice to meet you all. My name is Katsuragi Saho. She's really pretty. I met Saho-san at her high school's culture festival. Fumi-chan came to see us about how my club uses tarot cards. Yeah! She is like my teacher! Saho-san knows so much! I even learned how to use tarot cards! Look! I have my cards! Does anyone want me to tell the future? ! I always get these things right! No thanks. Yeah, no thanks. But, I really can tell the future! Right, Saho? ! You smell nice, Saho-san. Ah! That smell is incense. I love it. The smell is great, and it is interesting to watch the smoke rise. It makes me feel really relaxed. Yeah! I have been getting into incense lately myself! Incense is great! Okay! Okay! Oh man, Fumi! You really are doing whatever your teacher does! Of course I am! By the way, Hibara-san. Hm? Actually, I have a favor to ask you. Smoke? I heard about your grandfather. I heard that he deals with things from the other side. Fumi-chan! Sorry! Saho-san was looking up things like that! There are... a lot of things that I want to know. Is it possible for me to talk to him? Sorry for visiting you at such a busy time. Don't worry about it. Do you work here? I work here part-time as a consultant. Well... They let me use this place to look up things when I need to. So, just what do you want to ask me? Well... If I may, I would like to ask about spiritual abilities. I don't do things for people I am well acquainted with. If you want me to get rid of a spirit, I am going to have to say no. That's not it. I wanted to talked about beings from the other world. I would like to know how to deal with things that don't have any substance or shape. I believe in these things I cannot see. I want to understand something about them. That is what I really want. But, studying about these things by myself is just making everything more complicated. That is why I want to hear the truth and theories about them... from someone that has actually seen them. For someone so young, you are way too into these things. This is nothing that I can really talk about with you. But... It is not a bad thing that you are interested. You can always listen to the stuff I talk about in the study groups here if it is good enough. I would love to! So... The advance of the populous as a whole has, in modern times, been moving back towards the primordial forest. That is why they developed that means of survival. Could you give a concrete example? For example, going to visit the so called kasumiba and dannaba... Seeing Buddhist statues not usually shown to the public, and objects of worship at Shinto shrines. The result will be that these places of worship will prosper like never before. Sorry. What do you mean by kasumiba and dannaba? Well, in the past, the places where these religions were practiced was strictly assigned. Every year, they would pass out their almanac and charms. They would also call for their people to stay at the temple so they can receive teachings. I see... Thank you for what you told me today. We have study groups every so often. If you are interested, you can come to them. Thank you. I will show Saho-san off and go home. Okay. I still have business to attend to here. Eat dinner without me. Good bye. Is Saho-san possessed with that smoke? I think that is from something else. Really? Ever since then, I meet up with Saho-san every so often. It has been really foggy lately. Yeah, but I like fog and mist. I thought so. Hibara-san, have you ever heard of The Letters of The Marquis de Selvigne? No, I haven't. It is a book of letters that were written at the end of the 17th century in France. In the book, there is a story of the execution of a marchioness... who was infamous as being a noble that killed using poison. Execution? Yeah. In the town where she was executed, that marchioness' body was thrown into a fire and her ashes were spread upon the wind. Those ashes moved about in the air like this fog. The people there were worried because they were breathing in that marchioness. They thought that maybe they would turn into murderers as well. I would have never seen it like that. In other words, her aura spread into the atmosphere. We are surrounded by a fog that is composed of a mixture of many different types of auras. What your granfather says is always so interesting. I feel like I am looking for the roots of my own soul. It is really fun. How did you ever get interested in things like this, Saho-san? The first time I remember being interested was about four years ago. Four years ago? Yeah. An old lady that was a friend of the family died. During the wake, in a room that was filled with smoke, everyone was talking about the person who passed away. That is when it hit me... Maybe there is a way to see something that we normally cannot see... Like that old lady's will. I wondered how I could do that, and if I could, how much I could see. That is why I am interested in things like this. But, the other world gets further and further away the more we try to learn about it. I would really like to see it. I would really love to see the air-flow in a way I have never seen before. Something like this fog. Do you really want to see the other world? Yes, I do. If it is possible to see. Saho-san is like no one else I have ever met before. I'm home! Ah! Sis! What are you doing with all of those books? ! Ah! Mizuki... Welcome home. All of them look hard! There isn't even one manga in there! They are books that Saho-san said I should try to read, but I don't know if I can read them all. Saho-san is that girl who always goes to talk to Grampy, right? Yeah. Saho-san knows a lot of things. She has been thinking about God and what happens after death since jr. high school. Since jr. high school! She read all of these books here. She is a great person. She is not just good at studying... What are you laughing at? You are acting funny, Sis! Funny? You're really getting serious! It's like you're Saho-san! What are you talking about? ! Sorry! Sorry! Oh! Shut up! I'm really sorry! Where is Shizuru? No idea... What's wrong? Sis won't even talk to me! All she does is read hard books. Books? Yeah. Books that Saho-san suggested for her to read. Lately, she has even been coming home late. I really wonder if she is meeting Saho-san a lot. I became wrapped up in the world Saho-san taught me about. Shizuru! What are you reading? Oh... Familiar Loneliness. You really are showing off! Now, now... What kind of book is it? Sevigne de... You have to read it the other way! Oh, yeah! Um... The Letters od The Marquis de Sevigne! It really seems like an old book, Shizuru! Yeah. Shizuru, did you always read that type of book? Oh yeah, Shizuru! You went to the library with Saho-san, didn't you? Eh? You're still meeting up with Saho-san, Shizuru? ! You are the one that introduced them! Yeah! That's true, but just listening to Saho-san makes me tired! It's so hard that I just can't keep up. You are too good, Shizuru. Fumi! You called her your teacher! That was then! I just want her to calm down a little! Oh, man... Shizuru! What? Has something happened lately? Eh? No, nothing. Yeah, but you are acting a little weird. And so! Because our class has not been on the ball lately, the teacher chose a new motto for our class! What do you think it is? Sis! Eh? What do you think? What do you mean? What are you talking about? Man... You just don't listen to what anyone else says! I'm sorry! Say it again! I don't want to! Please! I will listen this time! Please! What I was saying was... My class has not been doing well so my teacher choose the motto Everyone has kibi kibi kibi-dango! Sis has been acting like that for a long time. G-Grampy? You are acting like you are in a haze. What, did you get some of that Katsuragi-kid's smoke? I admire her desire to search for anwsers, but the thing she wants to know about is so vast and vague, that she is struggling. She is like a small bird caught in a net. A net? It is a trifling thing gor someone like you who can see those things. That's... not true. Really? It is really bothering you, you should talk about it. If you say something, it might become a form of wind for her. Saho-san! Do you go out shopping with your friends much, Saho-san? Ah, not... not really. I went shopping with Fumi-chan and the others just a few days ago! We found a shop that sells handmade trinkets! If you want to see it, we can go together Saho-san! Wow. Handmade things seems to have a little bit of the spirit of the person who made them. I wonder if spirits can actually take up the residence in certain vessels. I have a feeling that spirits can stay in specific items. I will have to think this over. Saho-san... You once said that you wanted to see things from the other world. But, how do you think you would feel if you could actually see something like that? You really are an interesting person, Hibara-san. Well, I guess I would be confused as to what I should do at first. In the end, I think I would be happy, because I found a whole new world and would be excited to explore it. But, you might learn about sad events and terrible things that will happen in the future. And, you might also learn what other people don't want anyone else to know. I wonder about that. I should be able to think of some sort of way to cope with the situation with the new information I get. I have to continue my learning without being afraid. What if there is nothing you can do? I think the way you view this is correct, Saho-san. But... If I was put in the same situation... I don't think it would end up like that. Sorry. I have to go. Hibara-san? Now I get it! It's not possessing her! It's coming out of her! There was a monster calledEnenra that Sekien made prints of. Something coming up from the poor mas's house like smoke to rid the air of mosquitos... It twists and becomes a suspicious shape. If it is something that is opaque and easily destroyed by the wind, it is called Enenra. What that means is that shabby houses were made to smolder. The fire and smoke would twist around each other and produce strange shapes. But that smoke was like a thin cloth that could easily be torn apart. If the wind blows, it was blown away. It was something that was very fleeting. Is that the smoke that I see around Saho-san? The ra of Enenra can mean net. If she simply keeps thinking about the fact that she cannot get the answers to her questions, it is like her vision is obstructed by smoke. It is like she's caught in a net because she can't even see the things that occur around in her daily life. It is just like the description of an Enenra. Enenra... It is not a good thing. If it were a little smoke there might be some benefit to it, but that much smoke makes it hard to breathe around her. The only way to get rid of the smoke is to give her some wind. Wind? Don't you think she wants some form of wind? Sis... Are you thinking about Saho-san? Yeah, I was. I was thinking about the fact that Saho-san wants to see the other side. I don't know what to do since she has so much interest in that stuff. Maybe that is just because I am still immature. Mizuki... You aren't wrong, Sis. I'm sorry about before. It was no problem. To tell you the truth, I don't know why you got angry. Did I say something wrong? Hibara-san, you are the only one that I can really talk to. Please! Let's be friends. I am always surprised by your interest and knowledge about the other side. It sometimes even makes me a litlle embarrassed. But, I don't think that people actually seeing that stuff can really be that positive. And, I really want to talk to you about different things, Saho-san. When you talk about ghosts and other things like that, Saho-san, it is like... Like...? Enenra! Eh? No... Um... It is like the more that you try to look to the other side, the more you get caught by a net of smoke, Saho-san. You can't see what is really around you, right? But, if you can't see what is going on here, you will never be able to see what is happening on the other side. Please pay attention to what is happening around you from now on. I will help you along! It's gone! That's funny! Eh? I'm so jealous of your way of looking at things! You are so funny, Hibara-san! I am so happy I got to know you! Y-Yeah! I wonder if she is really praising me. But, it has been a long time since I have had a conversation like that. Sis! Look! You're right! It's really beautiful! It's been a while since you have looked like this, Sis! Really? Yeah! You looked like this for a long time! Was it really like that? It looks lke you became her wind. Eh? To that kid, your point of view is like a wind to the fog around her. Sorry for keeping you waiting. Don't worry about it. More importantly, did you bring what you wrote? Yeah, I did. I am still good friends with Saho-san. Saho-san's smoke will never vanish. It only disappears for a little while. It's weird, but I really feel like I understand your stories, Hibara-san. Thank you. When we talk, Saho-san's smoke sometimes vanishes. I am happy even if I can only become Saho-san's wind every so often. I really don't like when the seasons change, because they start to come out. HA HA HA! I'm not worried about it! What's with that weird confidence you have? ! Could it be that it happened again, Mizuki? ! Yeah! But this time... Yes, this time it will be something I can count on! With this guy around, no matter what tries to attack me, I don't have to worry! Next time! Kama-itachi! But, are you really going to be okay? Yeah! I will be fine! Ah! Welcome home Grampy! I'm Marc. I'm 26. I live in Holte. My father lives in Nice. I'm Patricia. I'm 19. Dad runs his own company. I live with him and my kid sister. I'm Anja. I'm 18. I live with dad and my elder sister Patricia. I'm Sofie. I'm 17. Mum's an estate agent. I live with her and my younger sister. I'm Hanne. I'm 18. My parents split up and I live with my dad in Charlottenlund. I'm Alexander Seeberg. I'm 19. Dad's a judge. Mum's a housewife. I come from Vedbæk. I'm Simon. I'm 20. Dad runs an advertising agency with lots of business in New York. We live in Rungsted. - What's up? - Meet me at the Edge. Not the Edge. Too many faggots. The NASA. - It's important. - OK, I'II phone everybody. - Password? - Dumbo. - Where's Sofie? - Why all the stress? It's my birthday. Or was. Coming? I'll be in the VIP Lounge. - Hi, sweetie. - Come in. - Hi, Simon. It's only Thursday. - It's my birthday. - Many people in tonight? - It's about half full. - Why's everyone wearing white? - It's an All White Party. My panties are white. Don't worry. Thorleif is waiting for you. We'II send you a drink down. - Hi, Franz! - Let's go. - It's going to be a lousy night. - Oh, come on, Marc! - When did you start using blow? - I've only done coke once. - Dad's not talking to mum. - Just tell them to talk. He won't talk to her. He says he hates her. Stop fucking up Simon's party. You're in the VIP Lounge. What are you drinking? - Cocktails? - No, they're for losers. We want Cristal. It's your birthday. Three bottles of Cristal, one of vodka. - Anything else? - Kill the music. What's he playing at? Yesterday was my birthday. My 20th. My parents couldn't be fucked to even phone. They're on business in New York. But they sent me this. So the bar's free tonight. Unlisted number Hi, mum! ... Hi, Hanne. Sofie isn't here. Try her at home, right? 'Bye. Fuck. I want these. This is another kind of wine. A Tenuta Sant'Antonio. It's a highly complex wine with lots of hints including tobacco. Tobacco? Does it come in white too? Hey! - You should have let me pay. - You're killing him. Hi, mum. I just wanted to remind you that it's my birthday. It's ten where you are so I expect you're shopping. Give me a buzz. I miss you. Here's to Simon. Cheers. - I love Cristal. - Simon, you're a darling. Happy 20th, buddy. Let's party! - I didn't bring a present. - None of us did. - He didn't tell us. - I'm just glad you all came. This rocks. Where did you get it? Yugo Danny. It's hard-hitter blow from Columbia. There's Tommy with that bitch Josephine. She had the same clothes on last weekend. And she lives in Virum. I just saw Jonas Engberg and Nik Kragh. MONEY We set the trend for what's "in". If me and my sister are seen in things we bought in New York everyone wants the same. You can buy your way out of most illnesses. You can always go away somewhere for a cure. I spend my money on on sex and gadgets and drugs and booze. My friends rate some of my friends rate money higher than happiness. But I hope - - I'II be happy. Then money won't matter. I use my credit card as a comfort blanket. If I'm feeling low I feel I deserve that top or that bag. I haven't found a door I can't open with my money. Crying in a limo with shaded windows is always more fun than smiling at the wheel of a Skoda. - I don't get it. - Get what? Anja and Patricia. The biggest cock-teasers with Tommy and Jonas, the biggest shaggers in town. - Yes, it's weird. - I'm getting new rims. 20 inch. Straight from L.A. - Cool. - I want 22" Chrome. - As my graduation present. - You can't have 22"if I've got 20". - Another line? - You know I can't take it. That was just an accident. Come on. Cheers. - Straight As! How does it feel? - OK. The best in the country. The minister of education says hi, by the way. Don't you ever get laid? - Of course I do. - What now? I'm going to do law at Harvard. - I'II visit. - Are we partying or what? - I'm not sure about that. - It's only X. Total love drug. - We need love. - I can't swallow pills. - Just for fun. - What about you, kiddo? Alex, isn't it tough always being daddy's boy? He's right. You're such a girl. Is it because your dad's a high court judge? All right. - Welcome to the club, kiddo. - He's doing it! Cool! Mind out. Is he dead? Wake up, Alexander! Hi. - What did he have to drink? - A bit too much vodka. - It's Tuesday afternoon. - We were celebrating his grades. - You must be really proud of him. - We certainly are. We are, too. I'm taking you home. - Get better soon. - We'll phone tomorrow, babe. What are you at? The last one sort of didn't work. Alex went diving. - Come on. That's not X, it's coke. - I said I didn't want any. You never want anything. DRUGS I started using drugs... Somebody offered me some. Everyone does them, so I did too. When we use them... nothing can stop us. Drugs are a way of escaping from your problems, yes. My world without drugs Emptiness. Coke makes you cooler because you are part of the crowd. You feel you can do anything. Nothing's impossible. You can have whoever you want. Nobody's better than you. The line between life and death, right? That's the best high of all. - Hi, girls. - Hi. Look who I found! Hi, Simon! - Can I have a drink? - Have mine. - So sweet. - As always. So I'd noticed. Too strong? - Where's my sister? - Sofie? - I haven't seen her for days. - We thought she was with you. Hasn't she been home? Tommy, my top was brand new. I told you to come on my tummy. You've ruined it. - Dry clean it. - In the middle of the night? - Look what Tommy did! - I told you to use a rubber. - He didn't want to. - Wear this. - Josephine's got a bottle for us. - You forgot something. What? - Give me a break. - What's up with you? I'm not kissing a sperm mouth. It was your sperm. - I'm not a fucking faggot. - But you fuck like one. - Chill. - Did you hear what he said? Jonas has got a 5 million dollar trust fund. - Money's not everything. - It is tonight. Tommy? ... Tommy? - I made a couple of bad investments. - So we've no more money? - I took some chances. - What about this summer? - I sold the beach house. - We just asked our friends to come. - Cancel them. - We'll be a joke. The bank wants its money. Nobody will lend me any. - Come on. - We'll never forgive you for this. - I need your credit cards. - What will we live on? You'll have to stop shopping. He's so way out of line. I'll call five to tell them granny's fallen ill; you take the rest. - Who are you calling? - Philip. I should do an Anna Nicole Smith. Marry an 86-year-old billionaire. She didn't even have to shag him. And he died right away. And she became a billionaire. Weren't you going to call Philip? - Who do we know with money? - Philip, Jonas and Tommy. Why? We'II do what Anna Nicole Smith did. Hook a guy with money. - Sounds a bit risky to me. - What else can we do? Move to Virum and end up like Vanessa? Add Bjarke to the list. He's dying to screw me. - Patricia? - Sofie? Where have you been? - What happened? - Simon's been really worried. - I've been sleeping in the park. - Why? - I said no and that's that. - I'm sick of you. You never think of anyone but yourself and I'm sick of school... I hate you. Stop it, Simon. I am not in the mood, OK? - She looks just like you. - You creep! You'd be great in porn. You fuck just like her. Didn't you hear mum? She totally lost it. What did she say? I had to finish high school first. Before I go into modelling. Why not just do it anyway? Yes, but unless mum signs the contract Unique can't hire me. She's been in such a mood since dad went off with her best friend. Unique will want you anyway. You're so beautiful. You are so sweet. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever met. I've been in love with you since the first time I saw you. I love you, too. - I'II go with you. - Do you mean it? You make me feel I've come home. With you I'd be able to get my life sorted. - You think? - I know I do. In New York we'd have our own place and make our own dough. And start a family when we were ready. No fucked-up parents, no fucked-up friends. No dope. - Just us. - But if mum says no we can't go. No. But you are a clever girl. You'll get her to change her mind. So your mum says you can't be a model till after high school? What a bummer! We were going to come and see you in New York! I've just bought a new suitcase, too. - You look a bit better now. - Philip's arrived. I'm going up. Are you OK on your own while I get you something to wear? Will you tell Simon I'm here? Of course. Got your plastic tits yet? No. But I will get some as soon as I'm 18. - Hi, Patricia. - Sofie's here. She's crying. She's crying again? - Sofie. Are you OK, baby? - I just feel so low. - Where have you been? - Sleeping in the park. - Why didn't you go down to the boat? - You can't help me. - Of course I can. - What's up? - My mum. - She'll calm down again. She's thrown you out. Tell the bitch I did the right thing. - It's dead embarrassing for me. - What the hell is going on? Morning, girls. Is something wrong? - What's this? - Check out the centre spread. - No, thank you. - You've got to see it. - No! - Do you like them? The Paki had me while I sucked off the black guy. By the way, his name is Lamin and he's really nice. What shall I say at school? My sister does porn. - Why? - Because I can't be a model. - And I'm sick of school. - Maybe I can buy up the negatives. You think everything revolves around you. - Sofie, stay here! - There are more mags at the kiosk. Sofie! One more year. Then you can do want you want. Sofie! Mum, it's Sofie. Listen. Did you hear that? It was your car. You'll have to catch the bus to work. - You fucking whore! - I'm not a whore. Fucking three darkies in a porn mag without telling me first! Smashing up her car would have done the trick. - You didn't have to do those photos. - I did it for us. So we could go to New York. - Us? We're through. - Don't go, Simon. Simon! I'm coming! Why is he being like that? He's just drunk. He'll come round. LOVE The perfect girlfriend would be... Sweet and loving... Back you up even in bad times. Love... I don't know if I've tried it... Well, of course I love all my friends. I love mum and dad. But real passion... no. There's status in having the right boyfriend. It gives you status. If you're rich with loads of money it isn't cool to have a poor boyfriend. A student on a... grant or whatever they go on. The boys have most of the say. It's always been like that among people like us. They make the money. She has to look good. Of course she has to be nice. If I'm going to marry her and have kids and a joint bank account and all that shit she's got to be nice. - Is Sofie OK? - Ask her. - What happened? - He doesn't want to discuss it. - My sister's in a porn mag. - Where can I get a copy? - At the kiosk. - You sisters are so fucked up. - Piss off - I´m at the dancefloor. - We're out of coke. - I'II never last the night. I've just seen Danny. Yugo Danny. Over there. - What's up? - What's up, Simon? Happy Birthday. - Thanks for the drinks. - Order whatever you like. - How can I help you? - We need some blow. - That hard-hitter blow? - I haven't any on me. - Can you get some? - Maybe. But I've no wheels. - I'II drive. - When do we get it? I've got pussy going. You'll have to take 10 grams minimum. - We'll take 20. If we go now. - That'll be 2500 in cash. - I haven't got it. - We haven't got that much. Then I can't help you. Here. - What's the PIN? - 1632. - Give me two cards. - It's good for 80000. I can only get 1500 from the ATM. I'll transfer the balance and add 2000 for your trouble. Did your mum drop you as a baby? I don't want 4500 in the bank. I am on welfare. So get another card or go elsewhere. - Give me yours. - Mine's behind the bar. I need it. Wait here. Back to the Edge. Out of the car! - What are you doing with Yugo Danny? - Nothing. What's this? - ID. ID. - In my right-hand pocket. Alexander Seeberg? Judge Seeberg's son? - Did you hurt your footsie? - Just come along. Not with you. You and your partner broke my rib last time. See you in court. Can I see your watch again? How much did you say it cost? 25000. - How about going somewhere else? - Right. - Luise? Want a drink? - Yes, of course. Mark, stop it. Stop. - What are you doing? - I feel like playing. I am not in the mood. If you fuck me the others will respect you again. - What do you mean? - You stopped talking to Vanessa. When she had to move to Virum. Just like you. And where is she now? Leave me alone. Fuck off back to Virum. POWER Power means being able to do what I want, when I want, the way I want. If something goes wrong like assault or other crime our parents have the power and money to hush it up. Nobody would dare say anything to me or tell me off. Or tell me what to do. Girls and boys look up to you and want to know you. You can choose who you want to talk to. Being in the group I'm in... People know you are not... I can provide all the stuff people dream of. All the people who do ordinary 9 to 5 jobs dream of living my kind of life. I need something from my jacket. The orange one. This one? Hi, Hanne. - We're leaving. - I'm coming. - Look after Gucci. - But you're way till Sunday! I've got Robbie Williams tonight. Helene says Gucci can't be left on her own. She gets scared. Just do it. Then you and I can do something nice next weekend. Can we go to mum's? It's her birthday. - You know I can't. - Why not? You know my lawyer says we mustn't see each other. But call me. - Hi, Yugo Danny. - Fuck off. - I thought the cops had got you. - I need your blow. Where the hell is that coke? About fucking time. - What's that? - Sherbet. What do you think? My blow comes in one big bag. There were problems. That's not 20 grams. As I said, problems. You get the rest tomorrow. No. I want it now. Or you give back my card. This is Alexander's. Use his. Where is Alexander? Are you stupid or what? There were problems, OK? - Why is he on the ground? - He had this on him. Why didn't you take him in? - We wanted to talk to you first. - Oh? We were a bit hard on a pusher. The one who supplies your son. We broke his rib. And you're judging the case. Can I take my son home? - Get in. - What about my car? I'll get it picked up. If word ever gets out... PARENTS I am sure my father realizes perfectly well that stuff happens that shouldn't. I don't think he gives a shit. To him what matters is that I get some qualifications and when I am with him and his people - - I play ball and behave the way he wants. What matters to my parents is that you do something with your life. They aren't that emotional. They have no idea what we do at weekends as long as we get good grades. It's off their radar. We haven't had the close family ties everyone else has. Lousy attention is better than no attention. Do I feel neglected? My father has never been to watch me play football or anything. Some of these parents are unable to help their children to straighten up. If I told them everything they'd never let me go out. Baby... come on. Simon, we've got to talk. Simon, look at me! - You are always watching porn. - Just go, OK? It was only porn. It didn't mean anything. I did it for us. You are dead to me. - You look like a worn-out corn hole. - Simon just dumped me. - You were hooked on each other. - It was the porn mag. He's always jerking off to porn. Men can be real creeps. Take this, baby. - What is it? - X. - I can't swallow pills. - You can't use that for diddly shit. Now swallow. That wasn't so bad, was it? Come on, they're playing our song. Whoever finishes first wins the pile. - That's a lot of coke, Marc. - A gram each. That's nothing. - On the count of three. - I'II wipe you out, faggot! - You're history. - Three, two, one, GO! - Simon? - Leave him. He's in trouble. This is so way out! Happy Birthday, kiddo. Your present. Here. You're so amazing. Come on. Let's get some shots down. - Simon, wait for me! - It's past your bedtime, Luise. - Hey! - What? You walked right into me. Haven't I seen you before? Hey, you collect the empties at our Co-op. Just the job for a Paki. Fuck you. What are you doing? - You're it. - No, you're it. The Paki's it. - You're a Paki too. - I'm not. I'm Danish. Thorleif, there's trouble. Stop that! Leave him alone, Marc. Calm down, Simon. - Get him to hospital. - You'II pay for this. This is a club, not a boxing ring. The cunt walked right into us. - Where's your booze? - So you beat him up? - You let too many losers in. - He owns three restaurants. I'm spending 30 grand here tonight. I can beat up anyone I want. Have we finished? Come on. Hey, T! Send up a couple of bottles. Fuck, man. - Fucking Paki. - We taught him good. - Hi. - What's up, Hanne? I was wondering... can I have a line? Help yourself. - I'm in the mood now. - For what? A fuck. - Who says I am? - You were just now. That was then. But if you want you can give me a hand job. - OK. Where shall we go? - Do it right here. - Here? - Hey? Is it OK if we play a bit? Any questions? You can have one too if you want. Maybe later. Sofie's here. But you can kiss me. It's not just something you do with your boyfriend 'cause it's nice. Everyone talks about it. Who's good in bed, how he or she does it, "You've got to try her", and you... It isn't natural any longer. The way we have sex is that we always try to push the limits and to go beyond them. And then to go beyond new limits. All the time. Boys have to screw 20 or 30 chicks before they leave high school. It's prestige for them. "I did it with two girls, three girls". Two girls and one boy. With two guys and one girl the girl would be the important one. That's not the idea. We copy what we see in porn films. That's why it gets crazier and crazier. The more extreme and the more bodies the cooler it is. But feelings don't come into it. What's up? I don't believe it! Look at them! - Use the car, guys! - Sofie won't be pleased. - Where is she? - She was dancing. - Sofie! There you are! - I feel weird. - I can't breathe. - Did you take something? - Franz gave me a pill. - Simon's with your sister. In the VIP Lounge. You can't allow that. - Go home, Luise. - You can't make me. Mum will freak if she hears you came here on a school night. Go home. - I hate you. - Go home. And you come with me. Move over. - Where are you going? - For a wash. - Will you be back? - Maybe. You bastard! She's my little sister! Why did you do that magazine? - Can't you just forget it? - It was so way out of line. - I don't regret it. - So you'd do it again? - If I have to. - I don't need shit like this. Keep your hands off Luise. Simon, you mustn't go. - Please don't be too rough. - Haven't you done it before? I'll be gentle. Simon, you mustn't go. I love you. Keep your hands off Luise. - Did I do something wrong? - No. No. Sorry. Get a taxi. - But sugar! - See you. - You're not going? - Yes. Take care now. - Do you mind? - What are you doing with Hanne? Nothing. We were just having fun. Why not just tell your dad and your friends the truth? Don't be jealous. You're the one I'm crazy for. Why didn't you call? I left thousands of messages. I was at my father's. I couldn't talk. I missed you so badly. Come here. Wait here. Who is she? Michelle. The daughter of a business associate. You are going to marry her. - You're kidding me. - You're squandering my money. You've been studying for seven years and you're only half way through. - I'II get it together. - Marry Michelle or earn your living. - But dad... - It's all arranged. You get a car, a house, and 25000 a month. You can't force me to marry her. The wedding is in two months. Your friends are not welcome. And your mother says she's waiting for some grandchildren. Hey, Marc? What are you doing, you fucking faggot? - Fuck you, bitch. - What's going on? He tried to kiss me. - Have you seen Sofie? - She was dancing. I thought you'd finished with her. - It's nearly closing time. - There are still five on the list. Who hasn't gone yet? I saw Christian and Johannes. Johannes is too drunk for it. Will you do Christian? I am too sore. - Of course, baby. - Thanks. How do you feel about your mum and dad? - What are you doing? - Why won't he talk to her? She is in such a state. Hanne... I know a girl who felt just like you. Her parents stopped talking after they broke up. You know what she did? Hi, darling. Long time no see! - Do you still do boxing? - I've just won a big fight. We're celebrating. - Is something wrong? - Will you help me? Sure. Are you scared? Better now? Maybe you should check the basement. Sofie? Sofie? Can you hear me? Sofie? Stop... - You wanted me to do it. - I'm not in the mood now. Stop it! You and your sister have fucked half the Edge tonight; now it's my turn. Fuck you! You bitch! Sofie? What's up with her? Do you want me to call anyone? My mother and father. Both of them. FRIENDSHIP We don't have profound conversations. I ask how they are doing but it's mostly just being polite. If I really had a problem - - I think they'd quietly disappear. I try to be just like them. I try to be like them so they'll accept me. It isn't really acceptable to be different from the others. I've got loads of friends. All over the world. I go to L.A. I get in anywhere I want because I know people and I'm friends with them. With celebs and so on. They've got money. You can't be friends with people who've no money. How did it go? - Let's stop now. - You can't stop now. - It was your idea. - A stupid idea. I'm sorry. When I hook a guy I won't share the money with you. Hey, baby! Hey, Marc! - I thought you left with some guy? - It's been a really lousy night. Cheer up. We're going to an after-party at Peter Skjoldmark's. Have some Cristal. Why are you always on booze and coke? You're 26. You need a wife and kids. Send me one of your girls. She's got to be French. I'm parked on Kattegat Road. A red Ferrari. - You called for some company? - You're Chinese. - I'm French, honey. - Say something in French. - Je t'aime. - Fucking tart. That was school French. You're not from France. Do you want company or not? 300, cash in advance. - What's that? - 1500. Say your name is Michelle and say you love me in French. - And then I'll break your arm. - Like hell you will. - 3000. - No, I said. 4500. That's more than you make in a week. - You're sick. - I own you. I'II do anything I want. Fucking cow. I'll get you, bitch. Hey! - Let me go. - I'm going to kill you. Michelle... Michelle... You should have let me break your arm. Help! Let go of me! Help! - So you're not seeing anyone? - Nobody regular. - Why? - Would you like to? Maybe. How about going down to the car? On your front. Not anal. You whore. You're hurting me. You bastard. My pleasure. I want to report a rape. - 26000. - I expected it'd be more. Thursdays are never that full. - Have you seen Sofie? - She OD'ed on X. The ambulance came. - Which hospital? - Bispebjerg. - Are you OK? - Yes. Hello? Hi, mummy. I'm in a bit of a rush. No, my birthday was yesterday. Yes, I'm sure. You'll be back on Monday, right? Not for three weeks? Thailand? ! Say hi to dad. 'Bye. I want to cancel my card. It got stolen tonight. Where is your friend? Just get it over with. Stay down. Is that all you've got? Hi. Hi. How are you feeling? Fine. I'm sorry I was such a jerk. I've felt weird lately. Are you feeling better now? It was a crazy night. Maybe too crazy. What happened to your face? Nothing I didn't ask for. It's Marc. There's an after-party at Peter Skjoldmark's. Maybe we should just stay here. I'm quite tired. Marc's got coke. Come on. I'll look after you. Can I come back to your place afterwards? I can't go home. You can stay as long as you like. Based on true stories The police are searching for Robert Zeuthen's nine-year-old daughter, Emilie who disappeared earlier this evening from her home. What are you doing to find her? - Sarah Lund - Who is this? - The girl's all fight. I'm collecting on a debt. I have a suggestion - a life for a life. I'll get Zeuthen, you'll get the girl. Emilie! No! The perpetrator listened to you. You made him think twice. - I saw him shoot her. - Did you? Sarah Lund, Juncker and Borch have gone to Jutland. The perpetrator may have spared Emilie. He won't finish until he knows what happened back then. - We don't know what happened. - He shot her and threw her in the water. - I can't feel it. - And the investigation in Jutland? We haven't found anything to show that your daughter is alive. You could say that mourning is love without a home. Don't! Let me out, damn it! I've decided to resign as Prime Minister. The assistant public prosecutor had another meeting that day. - I won't argue over Emilie's grave. - They say she may still be alive. The investigation is ongoing. Ussing's affairs are being checked. I'm siding with Ussing. I hope you understand. The public prosecutor was reluctant, but Ussing insisted strongly. Step down of your own accord or we'll have to withdraw our support. We're looking for someone who may have been close to Louise. - She only had us. - Did anyone else see her that day? One of your colleagues called to ask about the same things an hour ago. Why would the perpetrator use your name, if he doesn't know you? - Was Special Branch involved in this? - I wasn't involved in that case. - Why don't you believe me? - What are you talking about? You shut everyone out. Me, us, your son. No one's allowed into your life. Her bike got broken that morning. I think that's why she got a lift. There was a man in a black car. Those are all his notebooks. He's crazy about car registrations. - Where does that road lead? - To a closed boat builder's yard. That looks like Louise Hjelby's bike. This is where she was taken. Borch took the boy's book with license plate numbers this morning. It was you and Special Branch who erased everything about the black car. - I'm not discussing this. - Why is that book important? THE KILLING Ill Tell Ruth Hedeby that the case is wide open. We're not closing anything. Call those who've taken time off, back in. The resources will be there when management sees what I've just seen. - They didn't find anything in Jutland. - Then send the men out again. Ask the local police to keep searching for Emilie, and coordinate it with Lund. Give them all the help they need. Call the Zeuthens in for an urgent briefing. Asbjorn is asking for reinforcements. They've traced the perpetrator. Asbjorn, what's happening? Lund and Borch have tracked him down. We're on our way there. It didn't sound good. They're not in control. - What's the problem? - Apparently they're trapped inside. I don't know what happened, but we're on our way. Yes? What's up? Push the book under the door, then I'll spare you. He wants the book. Give that to me. Listen, we don't have that book. People are on their way here. Turn the damn car engine off. Do you hear me? Hello? Hello! No, you do it. You do it, and then get me out. Go! We don't have time for this. Drop the gun. The book. The police and Special Branch have traced the perpetrator in Jutland, but you need to focus on the meeting with the party committee. Listen, Kamper... Kamper? Kamper, I just want to say... I've just heard about the meeting. I will of course back you up. The Treasurer will undoubtedly try to put you in a bad light. She's tried to sway some of the others ahead of the meeting. It doesn't matter what she's done, there won't be any meeting. We're looking into important information that will clear the government of all suspicion, and you arrange this? As a Minister and a party member, you're responsible to me alone. So, go and tell your people that you're sorry to have wasted their time. - What information? - I'm not getting into that. But according to a witness, it was Ussing who put pressure on the prosecutor then. - What witness? - One of Ussing's former staff members. Special Branch are looking into his affairs. I can't give you any more details. - Of course. Hopefully it isn't Seifert. - Do you take us for complete idiots? Everyone knows he was reported for stealing from Ussing's campaign budget. Well... That doesn't matter. If it's true... Regardless, it should be investigated. I've asked Special Branch... Unless Emilie has come back to life, the meeting will begin in a minute, with or without you. - I'll contact the Ministry of Justice. - Do that. I was about to suggest it. - How the hell did he get away? - I don't know. - They're still looking for him. - You were right. Emilie wasn't shot. She wasn't there. They're searching his car for clues, - What the hell have you found then? - Louise Hjelby's crime scene. It seems she was picked up by her killer in a black car on her way home. He took her to an old boat builder's yard, where she was held captive and abused. - Then he faked a suicide in the harbour. - And the perpetrator found this place? He's trying to find whoever did it, with a notebook he's acquired. - What notebook? - A bay was writing down license plates, The perpetrator took the book from Borch. - The Zeuthens have just arrived. - How did Borch get that book? You'll have to ask Borch or Special Branch about that. There was a reason. I'd like to explain. I don't want... We've searched the dunes and the beach with a team of dogs. - They lost the scent by the stream. - He's on foot. He's wounded. They think he followed the stream inland. There are large wetlands but it's dark... I didn't help stop the investigation. Send his blood to the lab and have them test for matching DNA. - And the car'? - They don't think she was in the car. The dogs didn't even react. We'll return to Copenhagen. The notebook is likely to lead him in that direction. I couldn't have done it differently. - I've told you everything. - Who did you cover for? I can't say anything before it's cleared. It wouldn't make a difference. Let me explain. Why are you...? We're not just talking about a single error. From your relationship with Rosa Lebech and a jilted ex-husband, who leaks confidential material, to the handling of the Zeuthen case. You've ignored all warnings and haven't called the Justice Minister to account. The Ministry of Justice is not to blame. You're taking the Zeuthen case personally, and undermining the party's credibility. You must understand the situation, you've put us in. We owe it to the electorate, and not least to the Zeuthens. It's not up to the party to remove the Prime Minister. No Prime Minister has survived for long without his party's backing. What kind of party are we, if we have nothing better to do than this? Yes, our credibility, our future and our standing with Zeeland are at stake, the basis of our financial rescue plan, but you know where I stand. In spite of what the Treasurer's been telling you about me, this is useless. You chose me because you had faith. I need that faith fight now. That won't bring Emilie back to life. So you're not open to reason and would rather have the party fight a destructive internal war'? Then I'll call the business committee... Please sit down so we can decide this. Excuse me, it's news from my department. I'm not entirely up to date. The police have salvaged what they thought was the body of Emilie Zeuthen. He apparently shot a duffel bag rather than Emilie. Clearly, we're only talking about material damage. This is indeed a joyful message. So, if no one has any objections, we'll have to conclude that events have overtaken our discussion here. It's even clearer in this one. The perpetrator escaped, and there are no signs that Emilie was in Jutland. - The good news is, she may be alive. - Has Zeuthen been informed? Yes, he's at police HQ. What happened? We need to speak with Special Branch. The witness must be taken seriously. I want to know Ussing's involvement. He's with Special Branch but there's trouble. How so? The police accused Special Branch of keeping information from them in the old case. Special Branch said they didn't know about it. I don't know what it's about. But regarding the Treasurer, you have every reason to be angry. I'd just like you to let it slide. No more trouble now. Call the head of Special Branch in to explain. The current took the bag out into the fiord where we found it 12 metres down. The umbrella anchor made it sink, in spite of the buoyancy of the other materials. The bullets went through bag and contents, and match the calibre used by the perp. I wish I could answer the questions that this raises but... She's alive. He was traced to Jutland, but there are no signs Emilie was with him. So far, her trail ends at the boat in Copenhagen harbour. We've intensified the search, but as I've said, nothing is certain. I have to warn you against... Brief our head of security and all other security staff on the matter. No, we'll manage our own search, and it begins right now. I understand your frustration, but you can't interfere in the search. - We've wasted 48 hours. - They weren't wasted. We were about to tell our boy that his sister was dead. Understand? I apologise for our mistake, but you'll only complicate matters if you interfere. This is not the right way. I can explain. The girl was found dead in that harbour in Jutland. The local police found a notebook with license plates, and we were informed. You told me Special Branch weren't aware of the case. Correct? Yes, and that was a mistake. We didn't know all the details. We were only interested in the book, because the PM's campaign car was in it. - Excuse me, what? - Your campaign car's license plate. We knew you had nothing to do with it, but we kept an eye on the case. - My car? I don't quite understand. - During your last election campaign. You went all over the country, and your campaign car was noted in the boy's book. The public prosecutor told us the case was solved. It was a suicide. We had no idea that the book was important until now. The prosecutor covered up a murder- what difference does the book make? The other numbers are interesting, not least because Anders Ussing's car was also listed. I was wrong to say we didn't know about the case. It's regrettable. What exactly does it mean, that Ussing is listed in that book? In light of the prosecutor's negligence and the testimony you pointed out, it is something that we're keeping a keen eye on. - As a suspect? - it's a possibility. Right now we're focusing on finding the perpetrator. The book won't be of much use to him. It only contains car registrations. He's wounded. We'll catch him soon. Then we'll hopefully also know what's happened to Emilie Zeuthen. Will Ussing be investigated? We'll leave it to Special Branch and the police. Focus on our duel with Ussing tomorrow. I'm not slinging mud without more intel. You must admit, things aren't too bad. - Lebech would like to meet again. - Bloody hell, is she serious? The Centre Party have made their choice. Will you check on the event tomorrow? Yes. I'll go in five minutes. See you. Thank you for all your efforts, Karen. I want you to know they mean a lot. - It's my job. - Yes, but anyway... Do you have a minute? No, not really. I'm off to the Ministry of Justice to check up on Mogens. I'm sorry about everything that's happened. I understand if you don't trust me anymore. Listen, I have quite a lot to prepare for tomorrow. I tried to keep things separate, but I'm not as strong as you. I've had pressure from all sides and now there's the thing with my ex-husband. But that doesn't change how I feel about you. I'd like you to understand that. She was at the bridge. His boat was found in Copenhagen harbour. We'll look there. The police have put in extra manpower at the harbour and along the coast. - They've checked all ships in port. - Where have the police not been? - They haven't checked the containers. - Have them checked. - Is that realistic? They're sealed. - Contact the freight station chiefs. Say we'll cover all the losses that possible delays may cost. But they're not all Zeeland containers, and the contents are private property. I'll get it started right away. I'll ask our legal team to handle the case. Apart from that, the Board wants a meeting. You'll have to take care of it. I left the living room briefly, when I returned, Carl had turned on the TV. He was watching the news. Don't listen to the things they say about Emilie. Mum and Dad are looking for her. You can ask us anything you like. - What if you can't find her? - We'll find her, dear. - When'? - Soon. We'll find her soon. I've also looked for her. I thought she was in the gap, but she wasn't. What gap? The place she goes when she doesn't want to hear anymore. - What doesn't Emilie want to hear? - When you argue and stuff. Let's go downstairs and get a cookie. Come. I've packed the basics for him. We'll wait and see where he wants to sleep. Any news? Not yet. Did Carl or Emilie ever mention a place they call the gap? No. Special Branch insist that their concern for the PM and the notebook meant nothing. We need all the information. They must have a copy of the numbers. The head of Special Branch will come in the morning to explain. - Did Burch say anything to you? - No. Any news on the perp? We don't know how he got your number. He returned to Zeeland as a stowaway on a train. We fauna' blood matching his. - Did no one see anything? - No. - But we have the lab results. - Hi, don't tum on the heating. The preliminary tests of the perp's DNA indicate with 99% certainty, that he's Louise Hjelby's biological father. I've set things in motion. The father's unknown, so dig up more on the mother. She got pregnant in '96'. Who was she? Where did she work? She must have talked to someone. I brought the plants in. If the room is too hot, they'll think it's spring. - I'll call if we find anything. - Yes, OK. Let's hope for a period without frost, or we can't plant them until spring. I've made some pumpkin soup. You didn't see it. Close it again. The ultrasound images. I'll heat the soup. No, I'm not up for soup, candles, and ultrasound images right now. There's no need for you to get upset. I'm only staying till tomorrow. Did you speak to Mark? Yes. All he said was that he didn't know what to do. I need to think about myself now... and the baby. I'll move in with a friend, or move back to my parents. That's likely to change when the baby comes. - You have the flat. - No, that won't be ready. Someone stopped by to inspect the ceilings. They say there's asbestos, and that it'll all have to be torn down. Well, if you could handle being a single mum, I suppose I can as well. I don't think I handled it particularly well. I thought I could give Mark a... Well, I couldn't. Things didn't work out with Mark's dad, so, that was the end of that. - Why didn't it work? - Is there any more soup? You were together and you got pregnant. I didn't love him. There was someone else before who... I also left him, even though he was the one who... Well, it wasn't to be. That's all right now. I need to take this. You can stay as long as you like. And I'd also be happy to have a picture of... - Yes, what's up? - Why did you stop me? Your Special Branch guy deserved to die. You've seen what he's covered up. Where is Emilie Zeuthen? I need your help, Luna'. We know you didn't take her to Jutland. Is she alive? The book lists 12 black cars that day. One of them picked up a little girl. I need names and social security numbers on the 12. I'll take care of the rest. No, give yourself up and give me Emilie, then I promise to solve the case. I'll call tomorrow night to get the names and social security numbers. I can't give you that. Doesn't your daughter deserve for the case to be solved? Your blood matches hers. I promise that her killer will be punished, but you need to give me Emilie. I 'll get a copy of the car numbers in the morning and then I 'll start'. OK? OK. Don't disappoint me. You don't have to wait till morning. There's a copy on your doormat. TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 15 We'll put Lund's address under surveillance. No, thanks. I feel less safe with Special Branch, so, we'll handle it ourselves. I know how it looks, but our task then was to make sure the PM wasn't tarnished. How do you know, the PM wasn't involved? It was his campaign car. Chauffeur, staff and all. If you think we've put pressure on the public prosecutor, the answer is no. That would've been a decent guess. The prosecutor also took us by surprise. Borch has given you correct information. Except you knew about the case and stole that book from under our noses, and you would never have mentioned it yourselves. Of course we would. Borch confiscated it so we could form a general idea first. - Yeah, right. - Being offended like a girl won't help. No one knew that the case involved a black car until we found the crime scene. Which one of the 12 black cars is it? The public prosecutor changed the date to cover for one of them. - Which one? - If we knew that, we would have said. - Is Ussing's car among them? - Yes. Also a campaign car. We're looking into the claim that he knew Louise Hjelby. It may have come from a questionable witness. - Then we'll have to question Ussing. - Yes, but not to throw suspicion on him. The girl was abused and killed and thrown in the harbour. If justice is all the perp wants in exchange for Emilie, let's provide it. - Or what? - She's right. We have no leads on Emilie. And we can't afford to adopt the refined manners of Special Branch. I gave him my word, and I believe he'll give us Emilie. - But we must move now. - Yes, indeed. You will search the harbour, and Borch will assemble a team. No, no, we'll take care of that. You can take the damned harbour. Well, now we seem to be cooperating again. He could have been in Copenhagen harbour two hours before he stole the car, - and he had plenty of time to hide Emilie. - Search everything again. There must be a witness or a camera. Someone must have seen something. We 're trying, but Zeuthen's people are everywhere. We're surrounded by security guards. - Brix is trying to change that. - OK, what about Borch? Are you two OK? I know he's the one who fucked up, but he got us back on track when we thought the girl was dead. Call me if something turns up, Asbjorn. It can't come as a surprise that there are things I couldn't tell you. - Don'! be like that. I've been loyal. - It's coincidental, I know. It meant something to me, what happened over there. Shall we get going? - Give me a quick briefing. - The nursery had 70100 employees. Now it's threatened with closure, and has debts of several million. Thank you. - Is anything wrong? - No, no. - Lebech has withdrawn from Ussing. - Has Ussing commented on that? He's probably about to. I don't comment on rumours. Would you like to hear our job creation policies? - It's a storm in a teacup. - Yes, but as I said... The organisers are asking us to answer a few extra questions. What do you say? As long as we talk job creation reform and government abusing the benefit law. - You can borrow mine. - Thank you. I'll just run through it with my advisor. It's a crude game you're playing. If you think you can sneak a win, with rumours from an unreliable witness, you must be really desperate. - There's more than just a witness. - I'll explain myself, don't worry. You prepare yourself for a libel suit. - It's all right by us. - Good. Anders was called back to Christiansborg to help the police. - Unfortunately, it couldn't wait. - What a shame. No comment. Now he wants them to solve an old case. Why should I wait for that? - Did you find anything? - Searching the containers takes time. - Then hire more people. - It's not people we need. We're still negotiating with a few less-than-cooperative shipping companies. - Just solve the problem. - Would you excuse us for a moment? I've spoken to the Board. Everyone wishes you the best, but we have no managing director, prices are dropping, rumours are rife. They can voice their complaints to me, otherwise, just do as I ask. I'm paying you to do as I ask, so, do it! That wasn't necessary. - Here's the TV script. - Thank you. Neither the nanny nor Cart and Emilie's teachers have heard of the gap. Isn't it just a game they've made up? - Are they ready'? - Yes. The police called. They advise against doing it. No. Come. You can help save Emilie's life. - I'm sure your voters will forgive you. - I've already answered questions. As you know, Emilie's kidnapping is closely tied to an old murder case, which your friend, Assistant Public Prosecutor Schuitz was responsible for. I was appalled by the whole story, but I have explained our meeting. - According to a witness... - The meeting was about Louise Hjelby. Seifert is totally unreliable. Is he really the cause of this meeting? - So, you didn't know her, Louise Hjelby? - Sony. On April 20th, two and a half years ago, you were in the vicinity of Gudbjerghavn, the town where Hjelby was killed. Here's a copy of the hotel guest list. I was campaigning, it's my constituency, so, of course I was around there. - You drove a black car. - A BMW 3 series. It was spotted on the road where Louise was taken. Same day, same time. - I suppose I was at an election meeting. - You suppose'? The girl was abused and killed. Peter Schultz wrote it off as a suicide. - So, be precise for your own sake. - What did you speak to Schultz about? And don't say you spoke of the good old days at law school. Bloody hell! We used this girl in one of our campaigns. It was a campaign in aid of foster children. - Who are you? - Per Monrad, political adviser. The girl's foster family was an example that our efforts out there bore fruit, so, it wasn't good news that she'd taken her own life. An expensive campaign was binned before we even got started. How was the public prosecutor involved? What did you need him for? It was Peter's case. I just wanted to make sure that this wasn't relevant. What did Peter say about the case? It was confidential. I respected that. - So, you actually did know the girl. - That's not how it works. Well, it, uh, it pays the bills. Nah, you guys just read a bunch of crap from cards, right? Cold in the east, a storm right. It looks like rain. Aah! It's more complicated than that. Let me askyou - I'm trying to plan my birthday in a couple of months. Can you tell me if it's going to be a nice day? Oh, right, hey, nice meeting you. Always great to know a fan. Your name was? - Dale. - Dale. - Yeah. - The thug? So, Russ, i just want to apologize about the last time we spoke. I wasn't really feeling good. I was feeling sort of vulnerable. I had fear issues come up, being arrested and all. - Oh, yeah. - Plus, I was drinking, which I'm really not supposed to do, you know, on the medication. - Oh, I see. - Can I have some of these? - Yeah, go ahead. - You know, it wasn't a good moment. I just wanted to make an amends. Hey, listen, don't you worry. The truth is, I should be apologizing to you. I was gonna call about the $10,000, but the station got so busy. Don't worry about the ten grand, Russell. - It's water under the bridge. - Really? Wow! I didn't know that. All right then. Okay, let's celebrate. Yeah, because the new number i have in mind is about half a mil. [Spits] [ Clears Throat ] Come here, Russ. - I rather not. - Russ, come sit down. - No, no. - Russ, sit the fuck down! Okay. Unfortunately, Russell, we have a new wrinkle in the situation. Oh, really? What's the wrinkle? Basically I had to play pinata with Jerry the bookie's skull. - That ups the invoice a little. - Is he okay? - No, he's dead. - Oh! Oh, God. You know, okay. I'm really uncomfortable with this kind of conversation. You know, not to mention, I broke my 1986 World Series commemorative bat. - Oh, yeah? - It was a gift from my mother. She's gettin' a little old, and she's not feeling good these days. - Hasn't left the house in 6 weeks. - Okay, just give me - You killed Jerry the bookie with a bat? It's not like a half mil is gonna hurt you with that lottery ticket. - Get me the money, Russ. - Ohh! Great, Gig. We gotta talk about this. I'll fuckin' ball-bat you, you creep cock sucker. Okay, okay. Okay. [ Coughing ] - Mint Listerine? - Yeah. - When did they come out with this? - I don't know. - Is it good? - Yeah, it's good. [ Tires Screeching ] Look, just give this Dale guy a little extra money. - It's better than losing it all. - Better than being dead too. Crystal, he hits people with commemorative bats! He's not gonna hit you with a bat. He's your friend. - What? - Wanna see the jacket i got? He's not my friend. I just met this guy. How can he be my f - - Look - $900. - [Sighs] Made in Italy. I'm not screwing around anymore. If it wasn't on a boat, I don't want it. Stop buying things from Italy. You are not a millionaire. We - We are not millionaires. The first thing we gotta do is find a reliable, non-asthmatic person... to cash in this ticket A.S.A.P., or we're dead. Funny you should mention that. - I think I have another candidate. - Oh, yeah? Who? This guy that I was seeing when I was waitressing at the racetrack. I think he still works there too. A real sweet guy. Bought me a really expensive parrot, too, from Brazil or something. My cat bit its head off. You hated that fucking bird, didn't you, sweetie? The racetrack, eh. Well, actually, he's an unofficial employee. He injects horses with some shit that makes them run faster. Forget it. Cross him offthe list. Forget him. Who else? There is Scatter, the guy who installed my carpet. - I went to high school with him. - The man's name is Scatter? Yeah, well, he's a total coke freak, which could work in our favor because he usually needs money. No, junkies are problematic. Let's keep thinking. Mm-hmm. - Wanna have sex? - Oh, yeah. You know, i... I wasjust feeling good that day. Yeah. I, uh... I don't know what to say. I'm at a loss, boy. I'm at a total loss. I mean, here you are, supposedly injured, all right? You're collecting your lieutenant's salary and full disability. I didn't even want to do this. Matt had to talk me into it. You know how stupid I felt? The lower back, it's an enigma. Pat, I'm gonna be straight with you. Obviously I have alternatives to pursue, but I'm not gonna... because - cause I don't want this getting out. All right? It makes everybody look bad. But from now on, you are back on full patrol. Here. Get started with this. - A missing person's case? - Yeah, a bookie. Jerry Green. No one's seen him for about a week. Huh. Jeez. - What happened to him? - I don't know, Pat. That's what you're supposed to find out. Right. All right. We talked earlier about the fact there's a shortage of wading pools. Dick? Judy said you wanted to see me. Oh, hey, sport. Have a seat. Be right with you. - [Chuckling] - Is that Chuck Rhodes? This guy kills me. - I found Crystal too. - Hiya, kid. Judy, close the door. - Okay. - Thanks. - What's going on? - [Laughing] [TV. Off] - So, Russ, how's the finances? - What? - What? - The finances. - W- - Great. - Good. - You seemed in a bind last time. - Well, that was then. Terrific. And how are you, honey? We haven't talked in a while. - Did you know May left me? - Jeez, I'm so sorry about that. - Life's tough. - And how. - But you seem to be doing well. - I'm great. - But you seem to be doing well. - I'm great. Why wouldn't you be great, with a friend like Russ here? - Yeah. Look at that, huh? - Oh, jeez. Oh, boy. How about that? Don't say a word, not one. Cause if i hear one comment like, "What are you talking about?"... - I'm gonna call the cops. - What? Wh-What do you mean? It slipped out. We're listening. Go ahead. I chewed on it for three days, and I'm convinced I have evidence to fuck you both up big time. Bull. You don't have any evidence. What is that? - Stop it. Shut up. You shut up. - You shut up. Shut up! No. That's bullshit. Dick, you have the floor. You have the floor. - Go ahead. - Short and sweet. I want half the money, or i'll have you arrested, and might even do it on the air, live. - Imagine the ratings. - I'd like to see you try, asshole. - You're gonna see me. - I'll kill you, I swear to God! - I'm gonna kill you! - You treacherous little bitch! You got one week to get your shit together. - You listening? I want the money. - [Door Slams] Okay. Okay. Okay, let's do a little math. You want 20 percent, Dale wants half a million, and Dick wants half of everything. I don't have a calculator, but it seems I'm in debt again! Dale's money comes out of your share. He's your friend. - Not my friend. He's his friend. - I hardly know the man. Who cares? It's all fucking moot now. The only thing that's moot to me is the Dick Simmons issue. You get a toothache, you pull the tooth. What does that mean? - Let's kill the son of a bitch. - Oh, God! - [Crystal] Yes! - No! One call to Dale, we're back on track. Absolutely! Let's do it. What is wrong with you? He threatened us. Just remember that. - It is extortion. - Does that mean he's gotta be dead? - We're not giving him our money. - What money? That worthless scrap of shit? Yeah, okay. Maybe it's time for your friend, the drug-addicted carpet installer. - Oh, Scatter. - Scatter! Yeah! He could help. This is killing me. I have slept five hours this whole week. - Oh, God, here we go. - I have dandruff with big flakes. I've gained two pounds! Listen to my voice. I'm losing my instrument. Shouting isn't helping. - [Woman] Hey, Gig? - Yeah? There's a couple of cops in the club asking for you. - I'll be right in. - Oh, great! Cops in the club. I've always wanted to give an inmate fame. They kill the celebrities first, and then they fuck 'em in the butt. Will you just relax, please? There are cops always in this club. They're probably just arranging an engagement party or something. -Just hold on a tick. - Yeah. [Stereo] Toe to toe Dancing very close -Body breathing - [Gig] Goodevening, Officers. - What can I do for you? - Are you the owner? Yes, I am. Gig. Gig, do you know a guy by the name of Jerry Green? He apparently is known to come in here. Yeah, Jerry the bookie. Comes in here all the time. Has he been in here lately, because, I mean, nobody's seen this guy around for a while. Ah... about a week ago, I think. Huh. Back to back Sacroiliac Spine less movement - And a wild attack - You wanna get back to this? - Maybe ask another question or two? - Yeah, yeah. Where... do you find girls like that? I mean, who'd do that kind of stuff? Well, you know, it's remarkably easy. You'd be surprised. These two, I believe, we imported from upstate New York. I was gonna say, they seem like... Albany girls. Uh, so, anyway, we just wanted to drop by... and find out if you've seen this guy. Well, I'll let you know. Although, with Jerry, he could be shacked up anywhere. He's a bookie, for Christ's sake. It was nothing. Nothing. The word "lotto" never even came up. - See, Mr. Crazy Man? - Thank God! - They were checking on Jerry. - They asked about Jerry? - Yeah, yeah. It was just routine. - Not routine. It's called a murder investigation. No, trust me. Dale took care of every thing. They'll find a cure for cancer before they find Jerry. [MaleAnnouncer] Live from Harrisburg and News Center Six. Covering Harrisburg, New York, Lancaster and Lebanon, it's News at Five with Dan Shuff, Heidi Zimmer... and Russ Richards with the weather. This is News at Five. Our top story tonight: The body of a local bookmaker was found floating in the river today. Police say it was foul play and are following leads. More on that story in a moment. First, let's check in with the weather center... to see if we can expect more of these spring-like temperatures. Russ? Russ? Oh, yeah? - How about these temperatures? - What? The uncommonly warm weather - will it continue? - Russ? - Russ? Uh, um, wh-what was that question? Thanks, Russ. Well, it seems like we can keep those thermal socks in the closet... for the time being then. That's right, Dan. Police are calling it... the crudest attempt to dispose of a body in recent memory. Jerry Green of Linglestown... was apparently bludgeoned to death... and then dropped into the river with a brick taped to one wrist. This was insufficient weight to keep the corpse submerged. [ Sighs ] What time did they pull this bookie out ofthe river? Scotty told me around 6:00. Ted told me 8:00. It's like a fucking guessing game. They pulled him at 6:00 and bagged him at 8:00. Was he nude? Somebody said he had a T-shirt on. Why don't you get off your ass and check the reports, man? I'm going with nude. I'm so glad this thing is finally over. What does that mean? We don't have to look for this guy anymore. Gee, wouldn 't it be great if we found out who killed him? I realize that entails more work, but I'm just thinkin' out loud. Has it ever occurred to you, Chambers, that he was drunk... and he just slipped off the bridge? Hmm? A little thing called an accident. Why is everybody around here so foul-play happy? The man was bludgeoned to death, Lakewood! His skull was bashed in, he had a plastic bag over his head... and duct tape around his neck. Keep going. [Man On TV] You're in a very small, select group of guys. What is it that makes you successful... and all the others knocking on the doors not so successful? [Man #2] I'm not so sure. As i travel, i see television guys who would make good game show hosts. - But i don't tell 'em. - [Laughter] To me, a game show host is the icing on the cake. But the format is the cake. No one - [Man Talking] I'll love you till the day i die. Yes! And again. [Man] At 2.15 that afternoon, Johnny Clay - [TV Continues, Faint] - He's expecting me. - Come in. I don't know why I did it. It all unraveled and then one thing happened after another. Jesus. I'm still in shock, boss. I'm in so much trouble, Larry. No man becomes wise without stepping on the soil of fools. Right. Right! But I never claimed to be a - That's good. Where did you get that? Is that from the Bible? It's from this play I wrote in eighth grade about Evel Knievel. - Oh. - What are you gonna do? Well, I have a plan, i do. But I need money. I need it fast. I was thinking about that guy who wanted the snowmobiles. - Yeah. - You think he's still interested? Yeah, I think so, but you'd have to find some way to deliver 'em. Set it up. Set... it... up. - [ Dick ] $100,000? - That's right. You wanna sell me a lotto ticket worth $6.4 million for $100,000? Correct. I want out. However, this is a one-time-only offer, Dick. I want the money, I want it tonight at the station. If I hear any excuses, any bullshit like, "I can only get part of it"... or "I need more time," the deal is off. - Be reasonable. It'll take days - - Deal's off. - I'll get it, I'll get it. - Good decision. [ Russ ] Now, I believe that i have solved all of our problems. [ Crystal ] What century is this guy in? Put a motor on it, Jake! A year and a half behind this freak. One, I found a buyer for the snowmobiles, a guy in Colorado. I'm renting a trailer, and i'm gonna deliver them myself. - But why Colorado? - But, uh, uh! Number two: the lotto ticket. I sold it to Dick. - Hundred grand. It's his problem. - I don't think so. Numberthree, which is probably the most important of all, I'm leaving tonight for good. Now, questions? [ Tires Screech ] You fucked up the whole thing! You screwed it all up! - Stop it! - You brain-damaged fool! God, and i picked out a car and everything! Hey, now listen. If I didn't do this, we'd be in jail or at the river bottom... - with bricks taped to our wrists. - [ Groans ] - And you know it. - Oh, my God. You're so stupid. - Oh! - Oh, Crystal. - We are under surveillance. - Oh, yeah? Yes. Last night I stopped by a convenience store. A cop pulled in behind me, he got out, he followed me in... and then he pretended to get a cup of coffee! Did he pretend to get a doughnut? - Oh, you know-- - You are nuts! - You need to see a psychiatrist. - Oh, I'm nuts? - You can't handle this! - What about this little puppy? There's enough mist in this thing to save ten masturbators! [Rock] Ain 't no big thing to wait - - That's an ugly turn of events. - Mm-hmm. - Mmm! What is this? - [Continues, Faint] Schnapps? What, am i in third grade? - Can i have a drink, please? - Let's talk this through, shall we? You're saying that Russ, in his infinite wisdom, - Yeah. - sold the ticket for a 100 grand. Can you believe it? A $6 million ticket! - I've got more brains in my... shoe! - [Glass Shatters] Russ never really had the stomach for this sort of thing, did he? I do, and I want that ticket back, and I want Dick Simmons dead! Do you hear me? Fine. Fine. Speed dial. I love it. And I want his head cut off so i can hang it from my rear view mirror! - That's just your anger talking. - Yeah. Dale. Dale, it's Gig. - His machine. - Oh. Um, see, things have got a little bit sticky over here. Slight change of plans, nothing that your deft touch couldn't rectify. So either swing by or call back. That'd be marvelous. - Thank you. - Great. - Slight snag though. - What? Well, Dale - blesshim - has been doing favor after favor for us. If it's not one thing, it's the other. So - - So what's your point? - [ Sighs ] If he's gets the ticket back for us, we'll have to give him more money. - No. No way. NO. - That would only be fair. There is a limit to my classiness. - Quite obviously. - Shut up! I'll handle this. You just leave Dale out of it. Bunch of morons. I have to do everything myself! - Hi. - Well, well, well. Look who it is. An old face from the past. What's on your mind, gorgeous? - Oh, just wanted to say hello. - Really? That's sweet. 'Cause the last time we chatted, I believe you threatened to kill me. Gee, has something changed since then? You really did out smart us, didn't you? Screwed us royally. - I'm impressed, Dick. - I'm like a lion that way. I hide in the weeds, bide my time, then i jump out and tear the ass off some dumb buffalo. Ooh. So, Mr. Lion, how are you gonna cash in that ticket? I'll think of something. Don't lose any sleep over it. Believe me, honey, i sleep like a baby, 'cause the second you try to cash in that little fucker, I'm going to the lottery commission and tell them everything. If you did that, I'd rat you out quicker than a frog can take a piss. Mmm. - What do you want? - Halfsies. Half. Have you been exercising? 'Cause you look great. Deal. Nothing like rekindling an old friendship. Hey, that's him. Wagstaff. - Wagstaff? - Yes, Wagstaff. Are you sure? Light hair, 6'2' lives here. You need anything else? - Does he have a record? - You should read the report. Wagstaff was overheard bragging about the bookie's murder in a bar. Oh, what a jerk. You know what would be unfortunate? If we got into that whole let's-follow-him rigmarole. - [Tires Screeching] - Oh, perfect. [ Grunting ] Oh, man! It's getting cold out, huh? I never realized how heavy these were. K.C. inducted engines, twin carbs. Just touch that throttle and boom! It's like gettin' a chick off. - That wasn't your sales pitch. - Oh, yeah. You actually said that to people? Well, you know, just, like, biker types. Huh. Hey, Russ. Checkit out. I don't believe it. I thought you called for partly cloudy and pleasant tonight. A backdoor cold front. - A what? - A backdoor cold front. Rare. Almost impossible to predict. The atmosphere - a beautiful yet fickle beast she is. Is that from the Evel Knievel play? Yup. [ Sighs ] [ Engine Backfires ] [Backfires] [Chambers] Where in the hell is he going? Beats me. He's definitely up to something. Definitely. We should call for backup. You know, it never hurts. You know, backup, it's like an old friend. It's like an old sweatshirt you slip into on a cold night. Are you listening, Chambers? Get your head out of the clouds! - Hey. - [ Moans ] Hey, wake up. Come on. Wake up. - Fuck it. - [ Crystal Screams ] - What? - Wake the fuck up! - What is this? - What do you want? - You know what I want. - My wallet. Take the $50 out. And don't hurt me! I'm just sleeping over. - Where's the ticket? - What ticket? - Gig sent you? - The tooth fairy sent me, Twiggy. - Who do you think? - Hey, please leave. Don't fuckin' play games with me. I'm hopped up on wine coolers and antidepressants. I don't feel good. - Where is it? - I don't know. - You don't know? - No, I don't know. - Do you like baseball? - What? - Do you like baseball? - Yes. - Who's your favorite player? - Ted Williams. Ted Williams. He had some swing. It was sort of like this. [ Both Screaming ] No, hey, hey. Hold on. Just take it easy. I'm gonna call for backup. - I'm gonna go around the back. - No, you're in cowboy mode. Stop that! Wait for backup. Oh, shit. Shit. Shit! - We speaking the same language? - I'm gonna give him the ticket. It's not worth it. Life's too precious. Good girl. That's all i ask for, a little cooperation. - Here's cooperation, you shit! - Aaah! Ooh! - Oh! - Aah! Aah. - [Door Slams] - Police! Freeze! Don't shoot! No, no! There's a raving crazy guy up there! Just go kill him. Aah! Ohh! Lakewood, I'm hit! - Huh? Say what? - Don't let him through! Aah! [Crystal] Somebody! Get me a fucking robe! - Isn 't it ironic? - Yeah, ironic. Just another word for saying You're getting screwed. But so what, right? It's all over now anyway. In a while, bim-bam-boom, I've got this town in the rearview mirror. - Hey, take me with you, boss. - What? - Yeah, a little Colorado road trip. - No, no, Larry. Come on. Let me go. I'm practically a fugitive. I can't take you with me. Well, Russ, today, yeah, I'm an authorized Yamaha sales associate, but tomorrow I'm just another guy... boxing peanut butter cups at Hershey. Come on, Russ. I have faith in you, man. You would just drop everything to come with me? Yeah, let the word go forth - The Russ Richards freight train is about to leave the station. New horizons, new conquests. - Ready to kick some new ass. - Bob Barker, watch out. Russ Richards is heading west. Now let's see what's behind door number three. Whoo-hoo! You brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it I thank you all - Come on. - This will be no bed of roses All right, I'll take the first eight hours. - Ever driven one of these things? - Nope. I consider it a challenge before the human race and i never lose All right. Here we go. Hey. Yeah, baby. [Laughing] We are the champions My friends And we'll keep on fighting Till the end Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead! - Whoo! - We are the champions We are the champions No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions - So far, so good. Let's go. - [Gear Shifts] [Loud Crashing] I'm not gonna look. - I think that's a good idea. - Yup. [ Chattering ] - Easy, easy. - I got it. Let's get him up. - Dick, where's the ticket? - [ Moans ] - Answer me. - He can't. He's been sedated. Why did you do that? Oh! Fuck. Here. Oh. - Thank you. - That was very brave tonight. - Yeah. - He was an animal. No shit, the fucking creep. Oops. Excuse my French. Um, can i give you a lift... to the hospital? Why? I'm fine. No, I meant, to be with Mr. Simmons. Oh, right. Yeah. It's kinda late, and i have a lot to do in the morning, early. - Stuff. - Mm-hmm. Well, we might need some more information, and, uh, uh, i might call you. I'm available. - Fantastic. - Okay. Can i go now? - Sure. - Thank you. [Man] Get him out of here. Hey, Chambers. All right, hang on just a second. [ Loudly ] How you feeling, partner? I'd feel a lot better if I could get to the hospital. Make this quick. We're all gonna pull you through this, all right? Positive attitude - that's everything. Hey, pal, he got shot in the leg. I think he'll be fine. Let's hope so. Be careful with him! [ Larry ] What are you doing? I'm trying to disconnect this so we can get out of here. [Radio Buzzes] [Female Dispatcher] Base to Car Six. [ Groans ] What? Got a jackknifed tractor-trailer at Route 22 in Devonshire. - You're about a mile away. - [ Sighs ] Great. Now I got another 20,000 forms to fill out. [ Grunting ] Why do they make these things out of metal? Uh, I think it's twisted. No, it's coming. It's coming! - Oh, I don't know, Russ. - It's coming! Shit! Fuck! Why - Why the hell is it snowing now? Why the fuck is it snowing now? Fuck! Fuck! - [Siren Wailing] - Uh-oh. Don't say a word without a lawyer, even if they beat you. - Stay strong. - Not tonight. Nobody's beating me. You get out of here. I don't want you mixed up in this. - If i go to jail, I'm goin' alone. - Wait! Your money's in your briefcase! Don't do it! Don't take that sled. It's a piece of shit. Take the 4-40! Excellent power-to-weight ratio. - What? - Two-year unlimited warranty! - An on board toolkit! - Okay! Fine! This beauty is built for you! - Hand warmers, halogen lights! - Shut your trap. I got it! No! Pull the choke. The lines are dry. - No, don't flood it. - You said pull the choke. Finesse. Like getting a chick off. We went over this! - [ Engine Rewing ] - All right, you fellas. It looks like you're in need of some assistance. - Get back! - Huh? - Back off! - Huh? I said back off, motherfucker! Hey. Hey! Ho! Oh, man! Give me the case. Whoo! Hoo-hoo! Whoa! Hail Yamaha. Ah, Jesus Christ! This night never ends. [ Grunts ] [ Siren Wailing ] Let me loose, I just got back - I was pushed and i got dragged - Okay, kids! Now it's time to play the snowmobile game, with your host, Russ Richards! Destination anywhere So far gone, I'm almost there Can't you see, i can't deny I'm outta here like I'm on fire Livin' like an animal, criminal Television newsman so subliminal Bringing down the walls of wonder land Ohh! Just another high brow cowboy telling' me everything and everyone And all the things i oughta be - Here i am your demolition man - Oh, jeez! Aaah! [Woman]Russ? Russ. - Russ. - No. - Russ. - No. - Russ! - Oh, my God. How you feelin'? - You got pretty banged up there. - That's beautiful. We figured you'd be up in a minute. You were singing "My Way." You are so funny. You're as funny in a coma as you are on TV. - I can't believe I'm alive. - One more. You get it? Okay, you have a visitor outside. I'm gonna get your dinner, and I'll be back in a minute, okay? - Okay. Bye. - Yeah? - Okay, bye-bye. - Bye. - Officer, please don't upset him. - I'm not gonna upset him. You're in big trouble, mister. - No. Oh, God. - Yup. - You're gonna have to pay for it. - I told them, Officer. I said it was stupid at the start, but nobody listened to me. That's good. Remorse. Nice candy. 'Cause, for starters, we're looking at three big ones. Oh, God! Three big - Three years? Three hundred dollars. What? For the windshield. Plus, there's this little baby right here. You'll have to put that together with tape, but it still counts. - This- - This is a ticket. - Yeah. For operating a class-two vehicle without a license. Weight class two. Can't this wait? Mr. Richards is suffering from a concussion. - We're talking. - There's nothin' on it. My pen ran out of ink. Officer, i really must insist. From doing paperwork all night, between you and saving your boss. - My boss? - Dick Simmons. - He's right down the hall here. - Wh-Why is he here? Some thug broke into his house. Broke his legs with a bat. Officer, please. - Boom. - Was it - Was it Dale the thug? Well, i don't know. Some jerk with a plaid shirt. But don't worry. [ Imitating Gunfire ] I killed him. Oh, jeez, that's just... - Come on. Thank you. - [ Crowd Clamoring ] Back, back, back, back! - Scoot! Scoot! - Yes! [ Stifled Chuckling ] I can't stand it. Yes! [Loud Clattering] What? [ Blubbering ] Dick, I'm back. This is the lightning round. I'm calling the shots now. - Quiet, I'm trying to ski. - Look, I got your money. I'm gonna give it back, but I need the ticket. Where's the ticket? It's my show - This is the plan. I'm docking you for being an asshole. And I'm docking Gig for having people killed. And I'm docking Crystal for being a twisted, psycho bitch! Starting today, i decide where the money goes. If anyone doesn't like it, we're all going to jail. - [ Gasps ] - You give me that ticket. Where is it? Where is the ticket? I.. I gave it to Larry King. Uh, no... Got to learn to share your toys! [Dan] The search is over. The winneroflast month's $6.4 million lottery jackpot... has finally stepped forward. She's a waitress at a local Denny's right here in Harrisburg. Pennsylvania's newest multimillionaire is Wendy Fawcett. Thankyou so much! I don't know what to say. I've never won anything before in my life. [ Woman ] Wendy, what are you gonna do with the money? I'm going to put some in savings and some of it in checking. And the rest I'll be sharing with a good friend. - And who's that? - I'm not telling you! [ Cackling ] And we're giving a lot of it away to the Big Brothers, the Sunshiny Day Club, Asthma... - [Man] Do you have asthma? - No. But many people out there do. Wendy, how did you pick the numbers you played? - How did I what? - How did you choose the numbers? Oh, I get what you're saying. Okay, I get it, I get it! Um, wow. Uh, let's see, uh, seventy... seventy is because... a cheeseburger deluxe with bacon... is 70 cents extra. And, um, 16... When I was 16, I went to a party. And, uh, nine... Well, nine, we all know, is just lucky. Oh, man. And, um, seven is... I have seven Barbies, not including the ones that got their face chewed off... by the next door neighbor's dog, who's just such a great dog. [Russ Narrating] There it is-- a story to tell your grandchildren. Well, maybe not. Dick Simmons was fired from WTPA... after calling the network head "the luckiest asshole on Earth." He now teaches communications at Pocono Community College. Ethics. Crystal married and divorced a sickly 80-year-old millionaire... and sued him for half his money. She testified he was a Svengali, a word she mispronounced throughout the trial. He was like... like this "Svenjelly". [Russ] She lost the case. You're making my dreams come true She works at Gig's five nights a week. No cover charge, free buffalo wings with coupon. Thirty-nine! Gig bought an obscure stock called Microsoft in 1990. He now divides his time between Harrisburg and his estate in Monaco. Listen to this I've done all my daydreaming Oh, that sleep walk should be over by now As for me, i moved to St. Augustine, Florida, where it hasn't snowed in 50 years. - [ Engine Starts ] - And you know what? I auditioned, and i was back on TV. [Male Announcer] And now it's time top lay north Florida cable's... second-most popular game show, Lucky Numbers, with your host, Russ Richards. - Hey! How are ya? - [Audience Cheering] Thank you. Thank you so much. Hey. What a great-looking audience. My goodness, I'd love to take you home with me tonight. How 'bout it? Tonight, after the show? Dinner for 250? Okay. I'll make the margaritas. All right, now... [Narrating] You know, sometimes i walk past an appliance store... with 45 TV sets in the window, and i'm on everyone of them. At times like that, i say to myself, "Why me?" I mean, "Why me?" If i had to answe rthe question, i'd have to say, "Just lucky." You're making my dreams come true Doo-ooh, doo-doo, doo-doo Nights were warm Dreams were easy No one standing Overhead Conversation Didn't mean much We were hungry but we could not be fed Radio blasting Silly little love songs We only listened for the beat Taking our chances Out there on the mean streets Hiding in the shadows from the heat From the heat We weren't lovers Just brave strangers As we fought and we tumbled through the night We were players Not arrangers And we jammed till the dawn's early light Swimming in the big lake Taking it easy Taking any comfort we could find Didn't need the real truth Didn't need the meaning Straight ahead ignoring every sign Every sign And, oh, i remember I know you do too Oh, that one evening I know you do too The moon flying high [Chorus] The moon flying high - And you took my hand - Ooh Ooh-ooh You took my hand Ooh-ooh And it went allright It went allright It went allright It went allright Oh So we walked out Hardly speaking Disappearing In the night Saw each other A few time safter But we never really got it right We weren't lovers Just brave strangers As we rolled and we tumbled through the night We were players Not arrangers And we jammed till the dawn's early light - Just brave strangers - Early light - Just brave strangers - Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Whoa-oh Whoa-oh-oh Whoa-oh Yeah [Woman] I can't wait to go to heaven Before i get my big reward If i'm good i could That's what they tell me i've been working for When i prove that i can do it That's when i'll get my big reward Keep that big wheel turning And my number will come up for sure I'm gonna get my big reward Wanna get my big reward Wanna have it all sewn up Before I'm all grown up Gonna get my big reward Gonna get my big reward Gonna get my big reward Right now Nevermind the odds against us I won't give up mybig reward We have to take our chances We got a plan and we can make a score I'm gonna get my big reward Wanna get my big reward Wanna have it all sewn up Before i'm all grown up Gonna get my big reward Gonna get my big reward Right now I'm peggy carter. During the war, I fought side-by-side With captain america. We defeated the enemy... Please, don't do this. We have time. ...But I lost the love of my life. I work for the ssr, America's premiere covert intelligence agency. But now that the war is over, My mission parameters these days are... Agent carter, cover the phones. ...Different. That all changed when an old friend Asked me to become a double agent. I have a vault. Somebody cleaned me out. A couple of weeks later, my inventions... They start turning up on the black market. As of this moment, howard stark is a fugitive from justice. You're the only one that can clear my name. Edwin jarvis. He'll help you in any way he can. I found the man who stole howard's inventions. He was part of a bigger conspiracy. Leviathan is coming. Who is leviathan? He didn't have time to tell me. All he left behind was a symbol. I must determine what this means Before the ssr catches up to me Or my friends. Clearly, you don't know the rules of the house. Is this not apartment 3-f? Who are you? Jimmy. My girlfriend, molly... she lives here. I swear. 5'5", blonde, works at bonwit teller? Next one over. Oh. Would it be too much trouble if I could come... have a nice night. Is the only evidence we found at the crime scene. What can you tell us about him? He was relatively clean. He came and went without so much as a peep. Any visitors? Only for just an hour. ♪ let's make romance tonight ♪ ♪ let's take a chance tonight under the light of the moon ♪ Looks like business is good. Hey, ray. How you doing? This is it... 424. Check all the usual hidey-holes. Hey! Take it easy on the furniture. That'll be all. Thank you. All right, welcome to amateur hour. I got cash, passports. Got a british passport for "alfred lean," An american passport for an "orson hawks," And an italian pass-a-port for "federico rossellini." We got a film buff on our hands. What you got? You find something? Well, it sure isn't nothing. Powdered eggs again. What am I paying for? Still, better than the blitz, right, english? Oh, just barely. Morning, girls. Someone had a late night. What time did the cat drag you in? I didn't exactly get dragged out. Molly, you didn't. What can I say? Jimmy is very persuasive. And nimble. You got a guy, peggy? I'm afraid I'm married to my work at the moment. What about mr. Fancy? You know, the guy I've seen around the automat... Nice suit, nice car, nice shoulders. Oh, no. No. He's just a colleague. Good day, ladies. Early bird and all that. Ah, miss carter, please sit. This will only be a moment. In 1925, the great harry houdini Performed at this very building. Ugh, houdini. That's never good. Women stood spellbound and watched As he escaped from handcuffs, Straight jackets, steamer trunks. But the one trick he could not pull off Was ascending the stairs. It's a simple rule, ladies. No men above the first floor. Molly bowen Please go to your room and pack your things. Miss fry... Please. I hope you had a splendid evening, Because it will be your last at the griffith. Let her be an example for the rest of you. This institution is not unlike fort knox or alcatraz. Whether by force or trickery, this building is impenetrable. Can you believe that? I don't, actually. No building is impenetrable. Ladies and gentlemen, our pal leet brannis. Coroner says the amalgam in his teeth is russian. Yeah? How did he get the scar? His voice box was cut out. Mm. Probably happened during the war. Russian rifle division... the 478th. Now, you ready to have your socks knocked off? Leet brannis died. I know that, son. I'm staring at his corpse. Two years ago. Guy I knew in basic ended up in the u.S. Embassy in moscow. I had him dig into the 478th. Turns out, they were wiped out in '44 In the battle of finow, germany. Dead don't walk. At least, not in my experience. Where we at with your guy? We're still pulling what's left of him from the truck wreckage, But we were able to lift some prints From the passports that I found. We had a vodka bottle. Plus, we got this beauty. Don't touch. What did the lab rats say? They think it's some kind of long-range transmitter. How long? Moscow-long? Run his picture by your embassy friend. I'm on it. Hey, passport guy's mine. You got any friends in moscow? Or anywhere else? Don't be that guy. Ran the license plate we pulled from the roxxon debris. Belongs to howard stark. I found that. Where's the rest of the car? Uh, we just got a plate and a bumper. Boss, stark was on the lam when roxxon went down. Do we really think he would risk his freedom to blow it up? Or in... whatever the hell happened. Somebody was driving that car. I want to know who. Edwin, leave the dishes. I can take care of it. Anna, darling, I'm going to take you up on that offer. The day beckons. I'll, uh, be in the garden. Love you! And you! In polite society, One telephones ahead before trespassing. I imagine strange women traipsing through the property Isn't a completely unusual occurrence. That's a fair point. What brings you here? My landlady gave me an idea. Why, now if we could get an opinion from your butcher... Someone robbed howard's impenetrable vault. If I can find out how he got in, Perhaps I can trace where he went And locate howard's missing technology. You're not really dressed for it, I'm afraid. Our thief didn't exactly walk the items out of the front door. The night of the break-in, did you hear anything? There was a tremendous thunderstorm. It knocked the power out, including the alarms, For almost two hours. Not that I would have heard any of it. I'm afraid the sultry combination Of candlelight and rain always puts me out like a baby. Hmm. You're quite the guard dog. Security is not within my purview. Sousa: Ssr. Open up. Unbelievable. A known fugitive isn't answering his door. Knock harder. Sure. Can I borrow your forehead? Good afternoon, gentlemen. How may I help you? Afternoon. Agents thompson and sousa with the ssr. If you're looking for mr. Stark, I'm afraid he's indefinitely unavailable. We're well-aware of that, mr. Jarvis. That is your name, isn't it? Mr. Edwin jarvis? You misplace anything recently? Yes, I did lose a fountain pen on fifth avenue. How about the bumper off a fleetmaster? Just the bumper? Wish you'd found the entire car. I reported it stolen several days ago. Detective davis at the 19th precinct was very helpful. If there's nothing further... That bumper was found at a major crime scene. There's plenty further. Mr. Stark doesn't like visitors, Whether he's here to receive them or not. Look, mr. Jarvis, I can call a judge And wait here to get a warrant. But honestly, it's almost lunchtime, How would you like to take a ride downtown? Well, lead the way. Well, this will be novel. I haven't been in the back of a car in years. Come on, butch. Be a pal? Sorry, krzeminski. I got plans. Yauch, what about you? Told my gal I'd take her to a show. I can't swing it. Why don't you ask carter? Dooley would kill me if I let a lady take nights. Besides, she can barely make her own shift. Work day starts at 9:00 a.M., honey. Tell me, agent krzeminski, Who are you bringing to the show... Your wife or your girlfriend? Come on in. Have a seat. We really appreciate you coming down here To talk with us, mr. Jarvis. That isn't already in the missing-car report I filed. That report might take us a while to dig up. You see, the nypd aren't as efficient As the ssr at record-keeping, Which is saying something, because our files are a wreck. That hurts. My filing's impeccable. Isn't that stark's butler? You know this guy? Only from the file. Do you think he was really involved Well, maybe he didn't blow the place up, But he's capable of driving a getaway car. It's funny. A lot of stuff gets stolen from howard stark... Cars, bombs, death rays. Actually, the death ray's accounted for. It's in nevada, I believe. Hmm. You know these men? Take a good look. We have reliable information that says That both of these men were in possession Of some of your boss' misdoings, And now they're dead. Oh, what a pity. Sounds like you found our thieves. Unless, of course, they were working for your boss. Would you look at that? Five minutes in, And thompson hasn't knocked out a single tooth. Well, don't let this guy fool you. He may be a butler... butlers know powerful people. If we don't play this just right, He'll have a dozen lawyers down here by lunch. What about the stolen-car report? Currently lost in the system. But if the car was actually stolen, We got nothing to use on him. Eh, we got something that'll rattle this limey's cage good. I'll tell you, you know what I would do If the bumper fell off my car while I was committing a crime? I'd file a stolen-car report. Well, if you're implying that mr. Stark would ever... I'm implying you. Mr. Stark's on the run. He is also... An innocent man. I can see why he hired you. You're smart, cool-headed, extremely loyal, Which is surprising, Considering you were charged with treason. There you go. Stay on him. Oh, yeah. It's right here. There's not much in there. But seeing as whatever you did's Been swept under a rug, I'm guessing It's a big green one made of stark money, hmm? So you dodged the treason conviction. But you couldn't get out of the dishonorable discharge. Well, I guess money can't buy everything. This looks bad... Bad to every good man who ever served, Bad to your friends, neighbors... And to the fine folks at the office of immigration. Yeah, I'm putting that on the table. That'll be a fun conversation to have with the wife. Yeah? "honey, pack a bag. "spot of bother. We're being deported." you know what? Let's get her on the phone. I'll tell her myself. You leave my wife out of this. You dragged her into it when you broke the law with your boss. You pay, she pays. Hmm. He's about to fold. And admit what? If I had my way, damn near everything. This guy washes stark's underwear. He knows. Hey, it's just getting good. I should get back to my station. I'm sure the last thing you want is to put anna on a plane And have to explain why. All right, I'll let you take my shift. It's a one-time offer, carter. Carter! Excuse me, chief dooley. I need your signature, sir. What? Can't it wait? I'm afraid the codes are ready for analysis. I need your approval. Thank you. Why don't you sit here awhile? Think about it. I'm gonna get a coffee. You want something? That's my cue. What do you think? I think he's on the verge of telling you What stark had for breakfast two months ago. Mm-hmm. You feel him sweat? Wife's the key. Stay on the wife. Mr. Jarvis, I want you to meet... I'm afraid I mistakenly took your stolen-car report. Well, thank you for your hospitality, gentlemen. Unless you're going to arrest and charge me, I'll be on my way. If there's anything further you'd like to discuss, Please feel free to contact one of mr. Stark's attorneys. Do you have any idea how stupid that was? I didn't... exactly. You didn't think. For the love of eve, will somebody tell me what I did, Who I cheesed off to have you dumped in my lap? Why you never catch any actual assignments. Hey. You see this man? He did exemplary work today, and you ruined it. Now, what do you have to say to him? Agent thompson, I apologize. Agent carter, sorry doesn't even begin to cover it. Doesn't even begin to cover it. Get out of my sight. Sir. ♪ you see me when you please ♪ ♪ and think it's right ♪ ♪ that I should stay at home every night ♪ ♪ if this is all in sight, I don't want your kind of love ♪ Oh, I've been on my feet so long, I've sprouted roots. Hello, angie, sorry. An 8-hour shift, and I got a whole 50 cents in tips. The war's over. I thought we were all spending money again. How was your day? Would have been a considerable improvement. I got a bottle of schnapps and half a rhubarb pie. Let's see which one makes us sick first. Oh, sounds lovely, but I was just about to go to bed. It's 8:00, grandma. Come on. Tell me about your crappy day. I'm really tired. M-maybe some other time. Didn't mean to disturb you. No, you didn't disturb me. I ju... no, it's fine. I know a brush-off when I see it. Angie... oh. Ah, miss carter, miss martinelli, May I introduce you to our new resident, Miss dorothy underwood? Oh, call me dottie. Nice to meet you. This place is pretty swell, huh? Hmm. Seems like one big, happy family. No, it's a pleasure to meet you. I love your accent. England, right? I've never met anybody from there. Miss underwood hails from iowa And is pursuing a ballet career. Typically, I find dancers too carefree and irresponsible, Though I have always appreciated the discipline of ballet. Nice to meet you, dot. Uh, I didn't mean to interrupt. No harm. Wasn't much more to say. I'm sure you'll be very happy here. Uh... Do you have anything you want to tell me? Not at present, no. Very well. Let's get on with it. Mr. Stark believed The intruder had some advanced technological assistance. Mr. Stark believes brushing your teeth Requires advanced technological assistance. Shall we? You've done this before. Himalayas before the war. Though, at the time, I was strapped to a very amusing spaniard named... You are, of course, Well within your rights to maintain your privacy. Thank you. I agree. A charge of treason, out of context, Is not necessarily what it appears to be. In fact, my involvement with you and mr. Stark could, On the face of it, be considered treasonous. I don't need to know the details of your past, mr. Jarvis. I appreciate that. Thank you. Our investigators found an open manhole cover They assume the thief came up there. Carrying hundreds of pounds of equipment? Seems unlikely. You said it rained the night of the break-in. It was a positive deluge. Why? New york is one of the last cities To still use its sewers to run off storm water. The tide gate opens and the water runs into the river. All mr. Brannis would have needed is a raft and a forecast. He could have floated his stolen treasure all the way to the sea. I'm heading out. Make sure the chief gets this when he gets back. You got a hit on my passports? Prince charming's name is sasha demidov. You might know the rest of the story. He was dead before he died... battle of... Wherever? Finow. Congrats, sousa. You are the brains of the night shift. You ladies have a good night. You know, the passports were a gift from me. Least you could do is cover my shift, you rat bastard. Thought you were gonna ask carter. I was. I did. She acted like I was waving a sock in front of her face. I'm sure you were polite and respectful as always. You sweet on her, sousa? Don't you have enough women in your life to worry about? All right, I'm gonna give you A nickel's worth of free advice, pal. No girl's gonna trade in a red, white, and blue shield For an aluminum crutch. Your knowledge of waste removal rather surprises me. I spent a week down here in the winter of '42. It was... another time, perhaps. After all, we all have secrets. I was wrong. I need to know. Miss carter... If we're going to be working together, Risking our lives together, Then I must be able to trust you. On my honor, you can. Your honor is not enough. Mr. Stark deemed me worthy of his trust. I would hope that would suffice. Mr. Stark would trust a shark to not bite him If it was wearing a short enough skirt. That's not entirely relevant. Would it satisfy you to know That the charge of treason was dropped almost immediately? It's a start. Before the war, I served under a general. We traveled a great deal. We were in budapest when I met anna. She worked in a hotel tailor shop... Sold me the most beautiful tie. And then the war broke out, and things became... Difficult. She was jewish. Still is, I'm happy to say. The general carried several letters of transit in his safe, Any one of which would have ensured her safety, But he refused to sign. You forged his name. Hence the dishonorable discharge. It was filing the papers that sunk me. I was arrested in the middle of whitehall. Hmm. On a Tuesday. How did anna get out? The same way I avoided the noose. Howard? Mr. Stark had unfinished business with the general, And he and I had always got along. When he heard of my predicament, he... Used his influence. Sounds like a story. Another time, perhaps. Anna obviously knows what howard did for you, But she doesn't know what you do for him? Not recently, no. I may not always be truthful with anna, But I am always honest. Difficult balance, that. One that I imagine you know all too well. Here we are. Mr. Brannis couldn't have gone very far With a whole raft full of volatile technology. Not far at all. Mr. Brannis' symbol. Well, she looks to have seen better days. It's still connected to the electric. Someone's using it. Do you have another one of those? Someone's getting very confident. Hmm. Bingo. Careful. Some can be skittish. Very well aware of that. I remember you. Nasty little bugger. What does he do? The constrictor causes Involuntary catastrophic muscle contraction. Bones break, I'm afraid. It was originally designed for back massage. Hmm. Right. Let's call it in. Miss carter, I'm not sure you've thought this through. I can't bloody well leave them here for someone else to find. I'm not suggesting... I'm certainly not turning them over to you To be stolen the next time you feel sleepy. Agent carter, How did you come to discover the stolen items? Leet brannis, uh, told me where they were. And how did you come into contact with mr. Brannis? I have been conducting my own private investigation Have you been in contact with him since his disappearance? Are you collaborating with stark, A known traitor and fugitive from justice? Publicly revealing these items won't clear mr. Stark's name. They'll only place you under suspicion along with him. Do you see the day I've had? I will call them in, and they will respect me. But they won't. They'll only use it to tear you down. If you wish to clear mr. Stark's name, You must do so from the shadows. There's a phone box across the street. But for god's sake, don't let krzeminski get hold of it. Sousa's working the office tonight. I can just about stomach him getting the credit. Oh, and, uh, mr. Jarvis, they know your voice now. Sousa. Hey, mack, I, uh, Got a hot tip for ya. Yeah, howard stark's stolen inventions. They're... they're... they're on a boat Near the south side pier... the heartbreak, dock 12. Who is this? Just a pal. Tell me you na... how did you get this number? Have a lovely night. Right. Very good. Who was that? Anonymous tip. Let's go. Let's go, let's go, let's go. That didn't take long. Oh. Thought you were someone else. Brannis told me one of you would be coming. One of me? Would it make a difference if I told you I won't make it easy? Yeah. He told me that, too. What did you do? What did you do to my arm? Aah! Well, that works. Not if you want a massage. Jarvis: I imagine that'll be your colleagues. We must go. We can't leave him here. He's a witness. There's no time. You sure somebody's not yanking your chain? There it is. Ssr. Don't move. Don't think he can. This is it. We got the stark stuff. That's like the whole haul. Ease up on that, will you? I don't want to end up inside out. We're getting promotions out of this. Why? 'cause we answered the phone? This got handed to us... again. Somebody's wrapping this up like it was christmas. Christmas? Well, hey, who doesn't love christmas? I'm gonna call chief. I want every single box checked and signed in. Careful with that, boys. Hey, keep it sealed off! You got it! Who's our new helpful friend? Jerome zandow. He had an act in a sideshow at coney island. Petty crimes here and there. Probably just muscle for hire. Even muscle knows something. He had his hands on an arsenal of stark technology, But he just sat there with it. What's he waiting for? I'll get it out of him. Crates are loaded up. I want a lead and a chase car. Don't do the scenic route. Let's get it behind ssr walls a.S.A.P. I'll wake up the eggheads, Start figuring out what the hell this stuff is. And, boys, drive carefully. I don't want to be the one who sunk manhattan. I don't envy you, buddy. My pal jack... he's got a special gift for interrogations. He's real convincing, gets guys to spill their guts. That's not an expression. We've had to use a mop. I need a doc. My arm's broke. What's the point of fixing you up if we're just gonna break you again? Was that dame working for you? What dame? The one on the boat... English broad, solid right hook. English? Yeah. What's she look like? ♪ let's jam that boogie, babe ♪ Ohh, damn it! What the...? ♪ why don't you come back ♪ ♪ let's jam that boogie ♪ W-watch where you're going. You're lucky this is a company car. Hey. Ohh! ♪ let's jam that boogie, babe ♪ I didn't tell him anything! I didn't tell him nothing! Not a thing, I... ♪ let's jam that boogie ♪ ♪ let's jam that boogie, babe ♪ thank you. Rose? What is it? Oh, peggy. It's too awful. Sousa: Really puts you back there, doesn't it? You realize could happen anytime, any day. How did it happen? Professional hit. Him and our only witness. Must have been watching us at the scene. I knew something was fishy about that anonymous tip. Who does that? A concerned citizen? Concerned citizens call the cops. This guy called us directly. It's not like we're in the phonebook. Somebody targeted them, and I'm gonna find that bastard. Whatever happened last night, don't any of you forget... Krzeminski would still be with us today If it wasn't for howard stark, Whether he pulled the trigger or not. We're only neck-deep in this mess because of him. I want action plans on my desk in one hour. Stay vigilant. I'm not losing any more of you. Now I got to go call krzeminski's wife. I'll call his girlfriend. ♪ There's a somebody I'm longing to see ♪ ♪ I hope that he turns out to be ♪ ♪ someone who'll watch over me ♪ I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood ♪ The usual? Yes, please. ♪ I know I could always be good ♪ ♪ to one who'll watch over me Anything else? Uh... ♪ although he may not be the man ♪ I... I thought I might Tell you about my day if you have a moment. Yeah, that would be a nice change. I got plenty of time on my hands. All ears. Uh, it's just that... One of my co-workers died today. Geez, peg. That's too bad. Right there on the job? Yes, it was sudden. I know how you feel... blindsided. Like when my cousin ralphie got hit by a bus. Granted, he did just knock off a newsstand, but still. Big shock. Oh, uh... I don't know why it's hit me so hard. We weren't close. He was... A brute, a cheat. He was disrespectful, rude... But he was good at his job. I'm really sorry, honey. What can I do? Man: Miss, could I get a refill? Um... Do you still have that schnapps? Miss? Let me get this jerk his refill, and I'll clock out. I think that jerk quite fancies you. Shut up, english. You talk too much. ♪ Someone to watch ♪ over ♪ me Cease running! Cease running! Go any deeper... ..we die. Fire two. Fire three. What happened? I went for a swim, boss. - I got into difficulties. - Got into difficulties! - Yes, boss. - His words exactly. You tried to drown yourself. - No, boss. - A hundred yards out. Pitch-black. You were drowning yourself and in the course of drowning yourself - you swam into our bloated blacksmith. - No, boss. - Yes, boss. You know what that will get you, Katherine McVitie? 100 lashes. You might think your life miserable now, but it will be a lot worse after 100 lashes. How dare you do this to me? How dare you prefer death? Get out. - sir. I get sick of hummus after four bites. Max, we have to take charge of this. Because whatever bridesmaid's dress Sophie picks is like a Tyler Perry movie. I don't have to see it to know it's gonna be awful. We'll find something classy, and beautiful, and just shove it down her throat. Who's shoving what down whom? And if you don't have a story, I do. John, Max and I got roped into being bridesmaids. Stop. You had me at rope. You lost me at bridesmaids. I'll be at the hostess stand, looking at dresses and silently wishing for an asteroid to wipe us off the planet. If wishes made things happen, we'd been in the middle of a zombie apocalypse right now. Hey, girls. My dress just arrived from Poland and I'm bustin' for you to see it. See it while I eat one of your $14 puddings. Sophie, I've been looking at color choices, and how would you feel about us in a nude? Max could go nude but you don't have the rack to pull it off. Does anyone have a knife? Max, why do you have a switchblade to work in a dessert bar? My mother always told me to carry protection. Wait 'til you see Grandma Kuchenski's dress. They don't make them like they used to. You know, forced gypsy labor is illegal now. Here we go. - Oh. - Uh... Sophie, was your grandma the Crypt Keeper? What's going on out here? What's all that white powder in the air? I'm trying to run a restaurant, not an 80's disco. Oh, put a sock in it. I'm buying one of your freaking overpriced puddings. I'd get mad but I'm mildly attracted to you right now. Just mildly? I mean, now I'm getting mad. Sorry. Wedding drama. Her dress just fell completely to pieces... like I'm assuming I'll do in the near future. Whatever you need anything bridal, go to Rosenfeld's in Brooklyn. That's where I got my dress when I was broke and straight. So you weren't always into women? Of course I was. Except those three years in Scientology. Well, it looks like the three of us are going to go dress shopping now. Yeah. And you know, I got to go wash my hands 'cause they're covered in old lady DNA. Well, that's that. Shopping with Sophie is like when I worked in a Thai massage parlor. We are going down. Not if we go before Sophie and hide every ugly bridesmaid's dress that Sophie would like. If she can't see them, she can't make us wear them. How did you come up with that so fast? It's the same plan I used in 2010 when I was a bridesmaid for Chelsea Clinton. Bad dress and then her father followed me into the coat room. Oh, wow. Look at this place. It reminds me of that movie. - Bridesmaids? - No, Nightmare on Elm Street. I don't know what you're worried about, Caroline. I think they're all quite lovely. Nash, please. You're a poor person from Ireland. I'll ask your opinion when I need to know where to go to get free leg braces. You were right, Max. She can be a real "B" sometimes. I'm sorry, but I don't even know why he's here. Bonin' O'Brien here... is gonna distract the sales lady while we hide the ugly dresses. Hello, ladies. Same plan. Who's the lucky bride? Or should I say, who's the lucky cradle robber? Don't mind me. It's just my crazy sense of humor. Oh, the ladies here love it. The call me "Crazy Carl." [raspy voice] "Did you hear what Crazy Carl said?" They just love it. I'm Caroline. This is Max and he isn't the groom. No, no, no. He's single and gay. Yes. So gay, he got kicked out of One Direction. Why don't you two walk off somewhere and share poignant coming-out stories. Go. - But Max-- - Oh, you heard the women, go. Can do. Ladies, look around, we'll be back... in about a month. Tahiti anyone? I'm just Crazy Carl. The ladies love it. Bridesmaid's dresses should be called what they are. Really expensive donations to Goodwill. Is this one bad? No. That's a Vera Wang. But this is a very wrong. Hide it. Ew. And it's evil twin. Oh, I didn't know hazmat suits came with feathers. Oh my God. This the worst thing I've ever seen. And I've seen a prostitute change her tampon on the sidewalk. Who are you calling a prostitute? This, we've got to hide. I can't get this dress off. Just tell it you work at Google and you're thinking of settling down. Lift it up. Lift it up. Dump it back there. Stop! You put Butterscotch Betty down. Oh, we were just looking for a price tag. I know what's going on here. You're hiding the good dresses to make sure no one else can get them at our annual half-off sale tomorrow. Yeah, that's what we're doing. We're hiding the good dresses. In fact, I just caught another Sneaky Sue. Oh, I'm Sophie. Oh, wow, wow, wow. Oh, look at the color. That's not color. That's radiation. That dress is a one of a kind. Meaning there's only one? No, we have two. And I have two bridesmaids! I love it when life works out perfect like this. [indistinct chatter] (Public address announcement) Ladies, our half off sale will begin in a minute. Look at this place. There are more desperate women crammed in here than the splash zone at a Kenny Chesney concert. I know. It's like Black Friday at Walmart And like Black Friday, hopefully someone will trample me. Cause thanks to these dresses, my life is over. Max, did you hear me? My life is over. You said that when the Chinese food place forgot the duck sauce. Well, I'm sorry, but I had a whole other scenario planned for my return to The Times. "Entrepreneur rises from the ashes." Now, I'm just going to be in The Times, looking like a stupid ash. Shoot, girl, just push on through. I'm pushing, girl. I am pushing. (both) Excuse us. Excuse us. Excuse us. Just go, girl. I don't want anybody else to get those two yellow dresses. Max, did you hear that? Someone has worst taste than Sophie. Now we just have to hang back here and let them get to those dresses first. Yay! My life is good again. Max, Caroline, up here. What was that, like, a second? I saved you a space upfront. Come on. Well, it's over. As soon as they cut that ribbon, Sophie's going to Marshawn Lynch everyone who gets in the way of us and those dresses. There's only one way out of this. And you called it earlier. You have to let them trample you. I'm serious. I'm not about to be trampled on purpose. See if you still feel that way after I say these next few words: "Pictured from left, Caroline Channing." Try to fend off any heels you see heading for my eyes. Attention, ladies. As you see, I have the big scissors, which can only mean it's time... to trim some nose hairs! [laughter] That Carl is crazy. The annual bridal sale... - is now... - Max, hold my hand. Open! [all shouting] Ladies, ladies, one at a time. Oh! Well, I may be limping down the aisle, but at least I won't be limping in something Swiffer might sell to dust off ceiling fans. [woman screaming] Oh, my God, girl! here she comes! Here she comes. My girl, Rhonda, had that dress first. Oh, your girl is gonna have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands. Hey, Max, Caroline! Try it on! Follow me to the changing room. (Caroline) I'm never coming out in this dress, I'm scared. (Max) So on the count of one, two... Maybe it's not that bad. (both) It's bad. Okay. So you're telling me, Versace got murdered, but no one's taken out whoever made these? I know. I feel like Tweety Bird is gonna sue us for copyright infringement. I feel like we should have giant toilet paper rolls under here. Well, maybe we'll like these better when we're out of this bright light. Max, we are the bright light. Ladies, you forgot the matching hats. There's more? Oh, if anyone finds a Xanax, it's mine. It was knocked out of my hand by two women duking it out over a chintz mermaid dress. Oh, now it looks good. There's Xanax on the loose and I'm just standing here? At least if I was high, I'd have an excuse to be wearing this. Here pilly, pilly. Here pilly, pilly, pilly. Girl, for real, you look like straight up crap in that dress. For real. You white girls can't pull that color off. That's a waste of poppin' lemon yellow. I know. I am way too white for this. She's also too white to say "turnt up" all the time, but that hasn't stopped her. This dress was not my choice. I hate everything about it. This is a disaster. This is "Dressageddon." Yeah, but in a good way. You two don't want to wear the dresses. You don't have to. But I thought you wanted us to match the balloons and the ducks. Max, she said we don't have to wear the dress. Don't question her! That's like questioning a prison guard when he says you're free to go. Sophie, are you sure you don't care? Oh, yeah. Sure. Yeah, they're all yours, Destiny's Child. This is ten pounds of ugly junk. Reminds me of this bartender, Pete, I used to date. Come to think of it, that made me gag, too. Okay. Done. [woman crying] Listen, crying in a women's dressing room? Whoever it is, girl, big butts are in. [crying continues] That's Sophie's cry. I know, 'cause I hear it through the vent when she watches Nashville. Sophie? (Sophie) No. Are you okay? (Sophie) It's not me, but I'm okay. [sobbing continues] Sophie, why are you crying? When I heard what you said about the dresses... It's just-- It's almost, kind of like, you think I have bad taste or something. No. Caroline thinks you have great taste. She does? Well, then she should say so. Now. Well, Sophie, I think you have your own unique style. And I think... that I didn't hear the words "great" or "taste." Sophie, what do you even care what I think? Just say it! Sophie, I think you have great taste. You do? [Sophie laughs] Then, what are we doing sitting here? Let's go and get those dresses back! Come on. Help me! Those other girls already took them. What? Well, at least we don't have to wear those ugly, yellow bridesmaid dresses at the wedding. Yup. Now, you only have to wear ugly, yellow dresses here, every night. This is the best thing that's happened to me since I realized that weird mole on my arm was just a Grape-Nut and not cancer. Girls, great news. You stuffed Han in the microwave and you're ready to hit power? Come on. We've tried. You know he doesn't fit. The one thing he's too big for. No, I got Ilia Jorbich to be our wedding photographer. He's the best photographer at The Warsaw Times. Well, he's the only one who still has both arms. Wait, it's the Warsaw Times? All this time, I've been thinking it was The New York Times. New York Times? This is much more exclusive. You can only get it in two places. Poland and the deli in New Jersey that sells missiles. This is amazing. My comeback in The New York Times has been preserved. Max, I'm gonna go ahead and smile. My life is good again. Don't smile yet, 'cause Sophie told me that because you said she had such good taste, she's designing our dresses herself. What was that, like a second? Yup. You just went from the best of times to The Warsaw Times. We have Skinnarland on radio. Haukelid and two local guys to execute the mission. They will place 19 pounds of high explosive below deck. Something which ought to create an 11 square foot hole. The ferry with all its cargo should go down in less than five minutes. Too fast to get to shore before it sinks. Right. Another attempt, another blast, another fuckload of people die. That's war. There's a price to pay for success. How successful were we, really? We lost 41 men with Freshman. We sabotaged the factory and had it the Germans rebuild it in two months and listened to the Yanks and bombed the entire valley. - All right. And now about to blow up a passenger ferry. - Very successful. - It's war Julie, you told me... The Heavy Water War: Stopping Hitler's Atomic Bomb What the hell are you thinking? The alternative is bombing again. We're talking about 40-50 civilians. Plus even more reprisals. Can't we blast it on the way down? Or after the ferry, out on the ocean? - I estimate most of them will get to shore. - With the water temperature below freezing? - They have two life boats. - What if the ferry sinks before that? Then they swim. And those who can't? The children and the elderly? What the hell are you thinking? It's war, Jomar. We can get rid of the heavy water once and for all. - We don't have a choice! - I don't believe that. What do we really know about the Germans? Do we know how far they have come? I will try to find out. Do that! - Lise, are you looking forward to the concert? - Yes. To hear Beethoven? - Here you go. - Thank you. - Concert on Saturday. - Thank you! There's a concert on Saturday. Here you go. Good afternoon. Ellen Henriksen. I'm arranging the concert. - Arvid Fladmoe. - Kristoffer Kleive. I hope you had a nice trip. 8 kg in the hull, close to the engines. Approximately 45 minutes after departure. Friday is the worst day. The ferry is always completely full on that day. Did you hear what I said? I'm not the one making the decisions. Excuse me... Yes, what is it? We are moving. What do you mean? The factory is cutting back. There is no work for Rolf. He got offered a position as a mechanic in Notodden. And I got a job at the bag factory there. What does Lise say to this? Does she want to go? - We need money. - Yes of course, I'm sorry. We leave this Friday. - Friday? What about the concert? - No, it... We were supposed to go together. I'm going to see if we can postpone it, so that Lise can go to the concert. That would be nice. Sorry, I'm just being stupid. Thanks. It was a bit early! Did you check about Friday? Do you know anyone who can postpone the shipment? - Yes. Do it by tomorrow, then we'll postpone until Sunday. - Excuse me, Sir. - Tronstad. - Have you got a minute? - Yes, what can I do for you? How sure are we? How far down the line are they with the bomb? Any new information I haven't got? Well, we're never sure. We know that Werner Heisenberg gave Niels Bohr a sketch that we thought for some time showed a bomb, but which is most likely to have been a reactor, as you thought. But if you have a reactor you can make plutonium, if you have plutonium you can make a bomb. We do not know if Heisenberg did it to warn us, to frighten us, to help us, or just to impress. And that's why we have to sink the shipment. Because we don't know. We do know that Heisenberg regards heavy water as essential for his bomb project. We're afraid. That's the reality. There's something wrong with the critical mass. We calculated one ton of uranium. From the beginning. The size of the core is approximately 1/10,000th of the atom itself. The biggest part of the atom is empty space. Before they collide with the core, the neutrons move freely several centimeters. - Millimeters. - Several millimeters. Even in a dense metal such as uranium. We calculated to much uranium for a bomb to be possible. What was our starting point? A lump of uranium the size of a pea. Here, the neutrons surface and just vanish without colliding with new cores. With a bigger lump of uranium, every neutron reaches a new core. - And a chain reaction starts. - That's correct. Wrong. For a bomb, a 10 kg lump of uranium should suffice. 10 kilograms? Then we have made the wrong calculations? How could that happen? Up... Chin straight. Come. What did he say? We will attend. It'll be the finest concert ever to be held here. Of course I'll pay for the ferry tickets on Sunday. Rolf and Knut will pick you up by car tonight. Just the three of you. Four guards on the pier. Most likely there won't be any guards on the ferry, but the ferry crew members sometimes sleep there. The raft is positioned a quarter of a mile from the dock. It's no problem getting there unseen, but from the raft to the ferry, that's risky. My neighbor will be on the ferry. - You asked me to change the departure because so many people traveled on Friday. - I know... - You can't warn him now. - It's his entire family! Makes no difference. Do you understand the consequences? - You know someone on the ferry as well? - Could be. - Don't you think about that? - I've been ordered not to. - They are innocent people! - And? We have gotten an order, so someone must have considered it. We save more people by sinking the ferry. - Is it really that simple for you? - Yes, it's that simple. What if I warn him? I didn't hear that. Get up in the highlands and make contact with England. There you await new orders. I'll see you there in two days. Did you hear me? - Einar? - Yes. - Second row. - Thanks. Here you go. Come, let's go inside. Sunday, February 20th 1944 Thanks for last night. Thank you. Remember, you can come visit me as often as you like. It's not that far, and I can come get you. No choice? We could sink the ship out on the sea! - Not according to the British. - I don't believe them. - Well, tell them. - That's what you should do! I did, but it turned out this way. Taking the lives of 50 innocent people. You have to stop it. The bomb is already onboard. The ferry departed several minutes ago. - You went for the ferry all along. - That's not true. Of course... Then you'll be done with all this shit and you can finally go back to Norway. - Two coffees. What do you want? - Juice. - Good morning. - 39 barrels down. - 18 dead. - Minus 4 Germans. Most below deck. Third class, probably trapped in the dark, if they didn't get caught by the explosion. There was a man on deck who got crushed to death by train coaches trying to get a lifeboat out. But most went into the water without a life jacket and drowned. The only boat that was used was the one that was on starboard's side, and that holds only 8. Well, Head Office are very pleased. They consider heavy water operations finished. "An example on precise warfare with a minimal amount of casualties -" "- which has given us a huge advantage in our continuous battles." That's Churchill. He sends his congratulations. Congratulation... Sir. Spring of 1945 The final months of the war Werner Heisenberg! Don't leave. Wait for me, please! Damn! 370 wives or mistresses, or whatever... They always start out with how they don't know anything about physics, but that they find it interesting. "Culture and science is Germany's greatest strength." Then moving on to the weather and other unimportant stuff. For example, "strategic withdrawal." We withdraw with success and show "victorious resistance". But I like you. I've always liked you. I want you to know that. You are not one of those who give up so easily. Follow me, I want to show you something. You're not the only one who's been busy! Look at this. Conventional grenades. Completely normal, without any hocus-pocus. Or what? It looks like this, but we aren't stopping there! Depleted uranium. What happens then? Look here. I had to do something simpler than dropping a bomb on them. Like for example put it in grease. A kind of cream. But with a very different effect and result. Here. For example: Number 47. Stopzsky, Shlomo Stopzsky. Exposed to radioactive radiation for several minutes. With a remarkable result. Imagine this... A larger dose, nicely wrapped and shipped to Winston Churchill! Do you understand? We are what's left! We are the nation's backbone. Or to put it like our beloved Führer does: "We have so much to answer for, so we MUST win the war!" Sunshine? Yes, Operation Sunshine. The protection of power and and dam instalations in Southern Norway. Stop the Germans from destroying too much, before they surrender. You've been chosen to lead the operation. Poulsson is second in command, and Skinnarland on radio duties. The rest of the group you pick yourself. Congratulations. I though this was what you always wanted. To get back to Norway, get out into the field again. If you's rather stay here just until the end of hostilities then go and see your wife and children. It's no problem. I can... Of course not. The war is not over yet. - Thank you, Sir. - Good man. - Well, you're certainly not going to miss the fish. You don't get a fish this colour in Norway. - No we don't. I can't. It must be very beautiful this time of year. It's always beautiful. Do you know what I miss most about Norway? The horizons. - Whereever you look. - Yeah. It's been awhile. You must come and visit. Our house is big. It would be awkward. I might go back to university, do another degree. That's a good idea. This country needs good birdwatchers. Certainly does. It's going to be strange not to have the war. Yes. - When do you leave? - Tomorrow. - How long has it been since you saw them? Almost four years. A beer? - No, I have to.... - All the others went into town. A beer in the canteen, just the two of us. Is that a date? We can call it that if it helps. - It helps. - Good. Cheers! Thank you guys. Didn't think we'd let you get away that easily, did you? Skinnarland sends his love. Apparently they're in trouble with the police chief who's threatening to blow their covers. So you are going to be very busy. Keep your backs straight. One-two-three... Good. Thanks. - Einar reports good weather in the area. - Good. - Have a good trip. - Thanks. The war should be over in a couple of months. I might pop over and see you myself. - Good luck, Tronstad. - Thank you. Well... See you soon. Good luck. Leif Tronstad never reunited with his family. He was shot and killed by a Norwegian nazi-collaborator during "Operation Sunshine" Heisenberg. Werner Heisenberg was arrested by American forces on May 3rd 1945. Germany surrendered 4 days later. Heisenberg and 9 other German scientists were interrogated by MI6 near London. Welcome to London, Mr. Heisenberg. I'm Major Julie Smith, Special Operations Executive. I'm in charge of the debriefing of the German atomic program. If you care to follow me. He reunited with his family in Germany 8 months later. Werner Heisenberg carried on as a scientist and died in 1976, 71 years old. It's a great pleasure, on behalf of Hydro, to be able to give to the Homefront four million kroner. Norsk Hydro kept producing and selling heavy water until 1988. The company today has 13,000 employees and an annual revenue of roughly 65 billion kroner. This TV-series is based on true events. Some of the depicted events have been dramatized and simplified. Likewise, some of the depicted characters are fictive. We have Simenon on radio and Haukelid with two local guys to execute the mission. They will place 19lbs of high explosives below deck, something which ought to create an 11-square-foot hole. The ferry with all its cargo should go down in less than five minutes, too fast to get to shore before it sinks. Right. Another attempt, another blast, another fuckload of people die. That's war. There's a price to pay for success. But how successful were we, really? We lost 41 men with Freshman. We sabotaged the factory only to have the Germans rebuild it in two months, then listened to the Yanks and bombed the entire valley. All right. And now... .. we're about to blow up a passenger ferry. Very successful. It's war, Julie, you told me. Excuse me, sir. - Tronstad. - Have you got a minute? Yes, what can I do for you? How sure are we? How far down the line are they with the bomb? Any new information I haven't got? Well, we're never sure. You know that Werner Heisenberg gave Niels Bohr a sketch that we thought for some time showed a bomb, but which is most likely to have been for a reactor, as you thought. But if you have a reactor, you can make plutonium. If you have plutonium, you can make a bomb. Now, we don't know if Heisenberg did it to warn us, to frighten us, to help us or just to impress. And that's why we have to sink the shipment, because we don't know. We do know that Heisenberg regards the heavy water as essential to his bomb project. We're afraid. That's the reality. Morning. - 39 barrels down. - 18 dead. - Minus four Germans. - Most below deck. Third class, probably trapped in the dark, if they didn't get caught by the explosion. There was a man on deck who got crushed to death by train coaches, trying to get a lifeboat out. Most went into the water without a life jacket and drowned. The only boat that was used was the one that was on starboard side, and that holds only eight. Well, head office are very pleased. They consider heavy water operations finished. An example of precise warfare with the minimal amount of casualties, which has given us a huge advantage in our continuous battles. That's Churchill. He sends his congratulations. Congratulations, sir. Sunshine? Yes, Operation Sunshine, the protection of power and dam installations in Southern Norway, to prevent the Germans from destroying too much before they surrender. You've been chosen to lead the operation with Parson as second in command and Skinnarland on radio duties. The rest of the group you pick yourself. Congratulations. I thought this was what you always wanted. To go back to Norway, get out into the field again? If you'd rather stay here just until the end of hostilities and then go and see your wife and children, it's no problem, I can... Of course not. The war's not over yet. Thank you, sir. Good man. Well, you're certainly not going to miss the fish. You don't get fishes like this in Norway. Not really, no. Eugh! I can't. It must be very beautiful this time of year. It's always beautiful. Do you know what I miss the most about Norway? The horizons, wherever you look. Yeah. It's been a while. You must come and visit. My house is big. Well, that could be awkward. I might go back to university, do another degree. That's a good idea. This country needs good bird-watchers. It certainly does. It's going to be strange not to have a war. Yes. What else to it? What? ♪ Show me the way to go home ♪ I'm tired and I want to go to bed ♪ Well, I had a little drink about an hour ago ♪ And it's gone right to my head ♪ No matter where I roam ♪ Over land or sea or foam ♪ You will always hear me singing a song ♪ Show me the way to go home. ♪ - Skal. - Skal. - Skal. Thank you, guys. You didn't think we'd let you get away that easily, did you? Skinnarland sends his love. Apparently they're in trouble with a police chief who's threatening to blow their cover, so you are going to be very busy. Yeah. ♪ And so say all of us ♪ And so say all of us ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ For he's a jolly good fell-ow... ♪ Well, the war should be over in a couple of months. Might pop over and see you myself. Good luck, Tronstad. Thank you. Well... See you soon. Welcome to London, Mr Heisenberg. I'm Major Julie Smith, Special Operations Executive. I'm in charge of the debriefing of the German atomic programme. Would you care to follow me? Copyright (C) NRK Skinnarland on radio. Haukelid and two locals guys to execute the mission and place 19pound high explosive below deck Something which ought to create an 11 square fot hole. Ferry with all its cargo should go down in less than five minutes To fast to get to shore before it sinks. yet another attempt, another blast, and people die In war theres a price to pay for success How successful were we really? We lost 41 men in freshman, sabotaget the factory and had the german rebuild it in two months We listened to the yanks (Murica, fuck yeah! : P ) and bombed the entire walley And now about to blow up an passanger ferry Very successful It's war julie, you told me... English text: svennand @kickass.so What the hell are you thinking Alternative is another bombing -We're talking 40-50 civilans, Plus reprisals against even more -Can't we take it on the way down? -Or after the ferry, out on the ocean? -I calculate most of them will get to shore. -With minus degrees in the water? -They have two life boats -What if the ferry sinks before that? Then they swim And those who cant do it? the children? elderly? What the hell are you thinking? It's war, jomar. We can get rid of the heavy other once and for all. -We dont have a choise! -That i dont believe. What do we really know about the germans Do we know how far they have come? I will investigate Do that! -Do you look forward to the concert, Lise? -Yes To hear Beethoven? -Consert on saturday. -Thank you! Its consert on saturday, there you go. Ellen Henriksen. Im arranging an consert. -Arvid Fladmoe. -Kristoffer Kleive. Hope the trip was nice. 8kg in the hui, close to the engines. Approximatly 45minuts after departure. Friday is the worst day Its the day the ferry is completely full. Did you hear me? Im not the one making the decisions. Excuse me... Yes, what is it? We are moving. What do you mean? The factory is cutting back, There is no work for Rolf. He got an offer as an mechanic in Notodden And i have got a job on the bag production factory. What does Lise say to this? Do she want to go? -We need money -Off course, Im sorry. We leave on friday -Friday? What about the consert? -No, it.... We were supposed to go together. Im going to check if we can pospone it, so that Lise get to go on the consert. That would be nice. Sorry, im just beeing stupid. Thanks. It was a bit early! Did you check about the friday? Do you know anyone that make it be postponed? Have it done till tomorrow, Then we pospone until sunday -Sorry -Tronstad? -Have you got a minut? -Yes, what is it about? How sure are we? How far are they with the bomb? Any new information i have not got? We're never sure. We know that Werner Heisenberg gave Niels Bohr an schetch- -That we thought showed a bomb, This was likely an reactor But if you have an reactor you can make plutonium, if you have plutonium you can make a bomb. We do not know if heisenberg did it as a warning, help - 69 00:09:57.200 -- 00:09:59.600 - or just to impress Therefor we have to sink the shipment, Cause we just dont know Heisenberg sees heavy water as essential for his research, that we know... The case is, we are afraid. Somethings wrong with the critical mass We calculated an ton of uran. From the start. The size of the Core is approx 1/1000 of the atom itself.. The biggest part of the atom is empty space Before the collision, the positive electrones moves freely several centimeter -Millimeters -Several Millimeters... Even in an dense metall as uranium. We calculated to much uranium for a bomb beeing possible One uranium lump The size of a pee Heres the positive electrons surface - And just wanishes without colliding with new cores. With a bigger uranium lump, every possitive atom reaches a new core. -And the chain reaction starts! Thats correct. Wrong. For a bomb, an 10kg uranium piece should suffice. 10 kilogram? Then we have calculated wrong? How could that happen? Up.. And chin straight. Come. What did he say? We will attend The finest consert ever to be played here. I'll pay the ferry on sunday Rolf and Knut will pick you up with a car tonight, just the three of you. Four gards on the piere There wont likely be any guards on the boat,- -But the ferry crew sleeps there sometimes. The raft is ready 4000m from the dock It is no problem, getting there unseen. - But from the boat, its critical My neighboor is on the ferry. You told me to change the departure. because so many traveled on friday. -You can not warn him now. -A whole family! No difference. Do you understand the concequenses? -You know someone on the boat as well? -Might be. -Dont you think about it? -I've been ordered not to. -Its innocent people! -And? If we have gotten an order.. Someone has done the caluclation We save more people by sinking the boat -Is it that simple for you? -Yes, its that simple. What if i warn him? I didnt hear that. Get up in the mountains (raveen? ) and make contact with England. There you await new orders. I'll see you there in two days. Did you hear me? -Einar. -Yes. -Second row. -Thanks. Your welcome. And please, come in. Thanks for last night. Thanks Remember you can visit as often as you like. Its not that far, and i can come get you. No choice, We could sink the whole shit out on the coast! -Not according to the brits. -I dont believe them. -Well tell them -Thats what you should do! I did, but it turned out this way With taking the lives of 50 innocent people. You have to stop it. The bomb is onboard. The ferry left several minutes ago. -You wanted the ferry plan all along. -Thats not true. Off course, done with it all... So you finally can get back to Norway -Two coffes, what do you want? -Juice -Good morning. -39 barrels sunk. -18 dead. -Minus 4 germans Most of them under deck, likely captured in the dark, if the explotion didnt get them. One man got crushed on deck, by some rail carriages- 138 00:25:43.200 -- 00:25:46.299 - when he tried to get the lifeboat out. Most of them ended up in the sea, and drowned. Only the starboard lifeboat got used, And that one could only hold 8. Well, the main office is very pleased. They see "heavy water" operation as an success. "an example on warfare with few casualities" "Such gives us great advanteges in battle" Churchill sends his congratulations. Congratulation ... Sir. Werner Heisenberg! Dont leave, wait for me please! Damn! 370 wifes or mistresses, or anything else... They allways lead with that they dont lnow anything about physics. but that it was interesting. "Culture and science, is Germanys great strenght" Then moving on to the weather and other unrelated stuff. For exmaple "strategic withdraw" We withdraw with success, and show "victoriouse resistance". But i like you I've allways liked you Wanted you to know that You are not one of those that give up to easily Stay with me, I want to show you something. Its not only you that have been busy! Look at this. Conventional grenades. Completely normal, without any "hocus pocus" Or what, It looks like this. but we arent stopping there! Extracted uranium. What happens then? look. I had to do something easier than drop a bomb on them Like for example put it in lube form. A kind of cream But it is very different. Effect and result, look. For example number 47. Stopzsky, Shlomo Stopzsky. Exposion of radiation, for several minutes. With an remarkable result. Imagin this. On larger dose, nicely wrapped and shipped to Winston Churchill! Do you understand, we are whats left! We are the nations backbone Or to put it like this. With our beloved leader. "We have alot riding on us, to win the war" Sunshine? Protection of power plant, and the damms in Southern Norway. Stop the germans from destroying to much. Your in charge. Poulsson second in command, - - Skinnarland as radio operator. The rest you choose yourself, congratulation. I though you wanted to get back in the field. If you want to stay here til the war is over and then go back to see your wife and child, thats ok.. Off course not. The war is not over. -Thanks, sir. -Bravo. You wont miss the fish. No fish with this colour in norway. No! , i dont want it Its likely very beautiful there this time of year. Its allways beautiful. Do you know what i miss the most with Norway? The View -Whereever you look. -Yes. Starting to be a very long time ago. You have to visit. Your house is large. That would be ackward. Maybe ill get a new exam in the university. Thats a good idea, good birdwatchers are needed in this country. Thats for sure. Its gonna be strange without the war Yes. -When do you leave? -Tomorrow. -How long is it since you have seen them? Soon four years. A beer? -No, i have to.... -You, all the others went into town. One beer in the cantine, just the two of us. Is it a date? If it helps we can call it that. -It helps. -Good. Cheers! Thanks You didnt think you'd get away that easy? Skinnarland sends his regards. The sheriff is threatening with exposing them all. -So you will have your hands full. Straight back. One-Two-Three... Good,Thanks. -Einar reports about good weather in the area. -Good. -Have a good trip. -Thanks. The war is most likely over in a couple of months. And i will maybe come visit. -Good luck, Tronstad. -Thanks. Oh well... We'll see eachother soon. Good luck. Heisenberg. Welcome to London, Heisenberg. Im major Julie Smith, SOE. Im leading the german nuclear program interogations. Come with me. Its a great thrill, on behalf of Hydro. - To be able to give the homefront four million krones (500k $) Norwegian Hydro kept producing and selling "heavy water" until 1988 The company has today 13000 employees. and a turnover of roughly 65 billion krones (8.5billion usd) Tronstad never returned to his wife and child.But got killed during operation "Sunshine" This Tv-series is based on a true story, but has been slightly alterated for simplifaction/drama The Hydro chief and his wife was fictional. - Hey, Pop. - Hey, kid. I got news. Coco left me. Turns out she was banging her yogi. Oh, I'm sorry, Pop. Sorry? I set the whole thing up. It's fine. It's fine. Paid for her yoga retreat to Nicaragua. Been trying to get those two together for a year. I did it, and now I'm like a dog off his leash. Okay, Dad. And let me tell you, I didn't waste any time. I'm on the Tinder. Oh, okay, well, it sounds like you're good. I'm banging my balls off! Medium rare, medium rare. I want that burger medium rare. Are you at the OTB? Yes, I am. And you'll never believe what horse is running today... Daddy's revenge. How perfect is that? I got big money on this one, kid. They're off! Go, go, you son of a bitch, run! Spike him, spike him, you miserable little munchkin. Hit him! Hit him like you're wearing big boy pants! That's it! Oh, faster, faster! Santa needs you back at the village, yes! Go, you son of a bitch, go! Yes! Winner! Revenge! Oh, ah, shit. Dad? Oh, shit. Hey, Frank, it's me, Smolinski. Yeah, I don't know how comas work, but if you can hear me, screw you and wake up, you big shit. Nora, Johnny, you need anything... Gary, Gary, get a plate. You just dropped mustard on my half-dead ex-husband. How you holding up? Surreal, man. All the patients we brought here, it's never personal. This is... I don't know. Hey, Mac said you can take the day off tomorrow. Take as much time as you need. Oh, no. I'm working. I sit here all day, I'll go crazy. I came as soon as I could. - What'd the doctor say? - Could go either way. All right, so we got options. Okay, everybody, I'm selling squares 10 bucks a pop. We're also doing pool bets... Over/under's at three days. - Mom... - Over/under for what? If he lives? Either way pays. I thought Johnny's parents were divorced. They are. There's no way an Irish woman would miss a good death. Mom and Dad have a complicated relationship. It's not complicated. I hate him. But if my coma bets pay off, I'll love him. Frank, whatever you're gonna do, do it on Wednesday. You have to be careful what you say around a coma patient, Mrs. Farrell. A lot of times they can still hear what's going on around them. Listen, kid, if he knew he was dying and we weren't taking action, he'd be pissed. Besides, I bought him a few squares in case he comes out 'cause he gave me my Johnny. And nothing else. Your dad's hospital room is really nice, Johnny. Yeah, they're taking really good care of him. How much does a room like that cost? I don't know, he's got good insurance through the fire department, so it's pretty much covered. Good, good. Ball park, what do you think it normally costs? Like, a night? Six, seven? 600 or 700? Wow. 6,000 or 7,000, Brian. Shut up. Shut up! That room was so tiny. Whoever set those prices is a criminal and deserves to spend the rest of their life in that miserable little room. I mean, did you see the view? Of course you didn't. Because there wasn't one. Chicago North, ambulance needed, Lincoln Park carousel. Reported leg injury. Ambulance 14 responding. And did you taste the jell-o? 'Cause I did. I was not impressed. You took my dad's jell-o? Well, it looks like you got a broken fibula, but we won't know until we get some x-rays. Wow, that music just goes on and on, huh? You got to listen to that shit all day? You get used to it. Yeah, we're gonna go ahead and put you in this air cast. It's gonna keep everything stabilized until the doctor can examine it. Zach, I wasn't trying to hurt you, dude. I thought I heard you yell "all clear." Oh, and this has nothing to do with the fact that I've king to Ashley? I'm sick of your passive aggressive bullshit, Nate. I'm sorry she likes me more. We have common interests. Deal with it. Hey, hey, take it easy, buddy. Don't tell me to take it easy. I'm seeing clearly for the first time in ages. My ex-best friend just broke my leg. I think I might break my own leg if I had to listen to this song all day. - Right? - Take me away now, please. I've got some thinking to do. Yes, sir. I can't get that goddamn carousel song out of my head. Torture. Yep, that's the one. Okay, okay. ♪ I am riding on a little pony ♪ ♪ Both my friends are sitting right beside me ♪ ♪ One's on a zebra, one's on a lion ♪ ♪ Boy, this carousel sure is flying ♪ T, I would just die if somebody that I cared about was maybe dying and I didn't really have a chance to tell them how much I loved them. Yeah. You know what we got to do, T. Starting right now, we got to tell people right in the moment how much they mean to us. Oh, no, you can't really do that, Billy. - It'd be weird. - No, it won't be. - Here, give me your hands. - Billy, what are you... Come on, just look at me. Come on, T, look at me. Come on. Look at me. Look at me. You're not looking at me, T. Billy, please don't... Come on, give me those blue circles, girl. Come on. That's what I'm talking about. I love you, T. I... Love... you. Oh. No, it's not like that. It's not. It is like that. I love you, T. You're an amazing partner, but you're an even better friend. Okay. - Oh, no. - You even took a bullet for me. We don't really have to do this right now, okay? I do, T. We all do, you know? Two coffees, one with four pumps of caramel. Rosemary, give me your hands. Rosemary, you make delicious coffees. And you always wear the most beautiful vintage dresses that remind me of my abuelita. And I have a girlfriend, but if I didn't, I would want to sleep with you. Thank you. How you doing, Pop? Doing all right in there? I don't know. Obviously not doing too good, I guess. Oh, I brought the racing form. I thought you might like to know the results from Arlington. Um, so tit-for-tat won in the sixth. I'm skipping the early races 'cause you said that those were all for the amateurs. Nothing but nags running, right, Dad? Painted lady took the seventh. Won 24 bucks, that's sweet. I got to think that you would've put some money on her 'cause you always liked the ladies. Hungry heart only paid out 4 bucks in the eighth. Probably 'cause it's a favorite. Who bets on a favorite, huh? What fun is that? Uh, that's all I got. I'll bring more results tomorrow. There's a big stakes race. I figure you'd have blown a shitload of money on that. I don't know what else to say. Kinda weird talking to someone if you don't even know if they can even hear you. You know? I'm just gonna sit here for a bit, and I don't think I'm probably gonna say anything at all, cool? Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. I'll come back in a bit. Thanks. Decaf, right? I don't want to be up all goddamn night. - It's decaf. - Better be. Nobody has a secret plan to caffeinate you, Cash. - I do. - Forget it. I can't trust none of yous. Hey, mousse, how you doing? - You okay? - Yeah, I'm okay. Listen, mousse, you know, I don't go in for much emotion. I just wanted to say, for what it's worth, that your dad is a good man. You know, he served his community, saved a lot of people... Yeah. And you turned out all right, didn't you? You know, I think if this is his time, he can walk toward the light with his head held up high. Small comfort, I know, but... Thanks, Cash. I appreciate it. But I got to tell you, I never really got that "walk towards the light" business. Many people who have had near-death experiences have reported seeing... I know what they say. I'm just saying I don't get it. Folks find the idea comforting, John. - I know I do. - I don't. Maybe I'm a distrustful bastard, but how do we know what's beyond that light? Okay, John. Maybe that light's leading somewhere you don't want to go. How do you know it's not hell? The light for hell would be red, obviously. Would it, Stats? Wouldn't the devil try to trick you by also using a white light? He is the master of deception. You know what I don't get? If you're going to hell for doing all these bad things and the devil spends all his time trying to get you to do all those bad things, then wouldn't he treat you awesome when you got down there? God damn it, Voo, I spent 12 years of catholic school wondering that exact same thing. Wouldn't the devil be like: "There he is, that terrible son of a bitch. "You did a lot of bad shit up there. "I want to party with you. I'm not gonna make you burn. I'm gonna make you a Margarita and a steak"? Totally... the worse you are, the better you'd be treated. What you don't want to do is barely make it into hell. Oh, yeah, you do not want to be the devil's least favorite. "Coveting? "That's how your ass got down here? "Everybody covets. "Get your ass back upstairs until you can come back with some real sins." Shit, bear some false witness at least, you know? Adultery... Work with me here. Well, well, well, Johnny Farrell returns to the scene of the crime. Hey, Monsignor Sullivan. You praying for forgiveness for the 40 bucks you stole from the St. Vincent De Paul box for the poor? Come on, you never proved that. October 1993. I remember it 'cause the money went missing the same day the Sox lost the AL Championship to the damn Blue Jays. A Canadian team, John. And who do I see waltzing out the side door right by the box? A lot of people had access to that box, and it barely locked. Any kid could've jimmied his little hand in there. Uh-huh. That money was for the poor, John. Look, I'm not saying I took the money, but maybe the kid that did... And I'm just spitballing here... Maybe that kid needed a new mitt. And maybe his mom didn't have the cash to get him one, so, you know, if you think about it, that kid was kind of poor too. That box is for the people who don't have food to eat, John. Listen, I heard about your dad, and we've been praying for him. I appreciate it. Thanks. You know, those candles don't work unless you put $3 in them. Oh, yeah? Oh. You have change for a 5? I do not. But I'll take the fiver. We'll consider it down payment on the 40. Of course I took the money, Brian, but that mitt was sweet. Rawlings, heart of the hide. - The gold glove model? - Top of the line. I spent the entire off-season working that thing in. Rubbing oil on it, tied a baseball up in it. My first game back, I made this sweet diving catch on a liner right up the middle, oh! But then you left it on the bus or lost it somewhere 'cause you were subconsciously trying to punish yourself, right? Hell, no. I used that mitt all the way up to college. Still have it. 23 years, it's the longest relationship I've ever been in. - Hmm. - I love that mitt. We should go out and throw sometime. - Tonight? - Oh, no, I can't. I've got to meet my mom at the hospital. - Want company? - No, I'm good. 'Cause we're here for you if you need us. He knows that, Brian. Good. I can't count the times I wished you dead, miserable son of a bitch. Literally can't count the times. Let me tell you, I always thought you'd outlive me. You were always so full of damn life. Used to piss me off. Goddamn sparkle in your eye just like the day I met you, like you were still 21. I used to imagine you outliving me. Standing over my grave, getting cigar ashes on my headstone. Terrible. But here we are. Looks like I'm outliving you. I spent the last 25 years of my life hating you. 25? No, at least 27. Do I regret it? Not for a second. You and I weren't always nice to each other, but we never, ever lied to each other. Now who am I supposed to hate? Probably my mom. Can you believe she's still alive, making everybody miserable? God, who sent you these ugly carnations? Stink hands, yeah, figures. I'm sorry it didn't work out between us, Frank. You weren't a bad guy. Kind of a bad guy. But you got better. And I... I always loved you anyway. I'm glad you came back into Johnny's life. Mom. Can you believe this asshole? He's still asleep. I heard you talking to him. Yeah, well, we're an emotional lot, the Irish. Giving up on him? No, just making my peace with him. You should too. I mean, maybe he's just waiting around for you to tell him it's all right for him to go. And I'm not saying that just 'cause I had him going today in the pool. Although that would be a nice parting gift! I don't know what to say. You'll think of something. Thanks. Okay, Dad, um, we love you. You've been a good dad. You've been an... You've been an okay dad. On a scale of one to ten, I'd say you were a six... You were a five. Um... But look, last year, you really made a comeback. I mean, you were... You were almost an eight. But I get it. You saved people's lives for a living. I always admired that. You'd walk into a burning building, save your worst enemy. Time to save yourself now, Dad. Okay? Walk into the light. It's okay. Don't worry about us. We're gonna be fine. You don't have to suffer. You did your job. Take care of yourself, Pop. I love you. Walk into the light. Bye. So you know if your dad could talk right now he'd tell you you were acting like a big pussy? Thanks, Mom. - I love you. - Love you too. You did good, man. No matter what happens, you'll know you did right by your dad. I don't even know if he could hear me, but I guess it needed to be said, right? Johnny, I'm so proud of you. Being able to cry in front of your dad like that, that's huge. Who told you I cried? Hank. Your mom ratted you out, bro. She was taking prop bets on whether or not you'd cry. She lost big on that one. You got a big mouth. I'm serious. I really do think that this is a big step for you, Johnny. Life is so much richer when you allow yourself to tap into some vulnerability. Do yourself a favor. When you get home, turn on the Hallmark channel. Just live in it for a few hours. Brian, just stop, all right? - All right, but I just think... - Brian. Oh, shit, that's Dad's room. Dad. You! You told me to go into the light. - What? - Oh, yeah. There was a light. I almost walked right into the goddamn thing, you ungrateful little shit. You wanted me dead. No, no, no, no, no, no. And I'm a freaking five? I said you were making a comeback. I'm a goddamn ten. I'm just... I'm just glad you're alive. I know you are, kid. I'm just breaking your balls. Look at this. I've been up ten minutes. Already my Tinder is blowing up. Yeah, all right. - How do you feel, Mr. Farrell? - Never better. These comas are a dynamite way to catch up on your sleep. I might need another one in a couple of months. Being single is exhausting. Oh, guys, check this shit out. I woke up holding a winning ticket. Daddy's revenge, 20 grand! Oh! - God damn it! - Oh. I knew you'd outlive me. I'm invincible, sweetheart. All right, let's see who won the pool. When did you wake up? Uh, let's call it 11:20. That's my square! 250 bucks! I love you, Frank. I love you too, dollface. Five minutes off. You bet on my dad's death? You didn't? Ah, baby, you won the over/unders. 100 bucks. Everybody's a winner. Stink hand, watch the door. Daddy needs a cigar. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. - Oh, for God's sakes, Frank. No, no, Dad, Dad, Dad, come on. I think... Why don't you just order Italian beef while you're at it? - Jesus, Frank. - That's a good idea, honey. W... Jesus Christ, I can't get that goddamn song out of my head. It's so catchy. Okay, we're even. No, no. Oh, shit. No. I don't believe it. Again, Johnny? No, Monsignor, this is not what it looks like. It never is. Can I get a little help here? - Nope. - Where are you going? No, Monsignor. No, but my hand is... No, please. No, come on. Shane smith: This week on "vice," the race to find new antibiotics. (speaking english) Smith: And then, illegal palm oil plantations Are destroying the rainforest. Dr. Ian singleton: It's one of the biggest, most important forest plots In the whole of southeast asia, And there's a really serious threat now to just wipe it off the map. It's pure greed. ♪ (shouting) (cheering) We're traveling upriver into the jungles of malaysia. It looks like a pretty large fire over there. The amount of smoke and how much it's spread is incredibl. In recent years there's been a worrying increase In so-called superbug infections. Centers for disease control warning hospitals nationwide About a growing number of superbugs. Male reporter: There's a new deadly superbug Spreading in hospitals across america. Half of all the patients who get it, die. Smith: As the number of outbreaks continues to increase, The horrifying reality is that simple infections, Which used to be completely treatable by antibiotics, Are now potentially fatal. The nightmare bacteria are now completely untreatable. To find out what can be done as more and more antibiotics Continue to lose their effectiveness, We sent thomas morton to meet with some of the world's leading scientists To try to find out what the future holds for antibiotics. ♪ (birds chirping) Hi, it's thomas. We're traveling upriver And into the jungles of malaysia To find the drugs that humans will use in the future, Because all of our current drugs are gonna stop working. ♪ Morton: Dr. Chris wiart is One of the last working ethnopharmacologists, Who are scientists who go into the wilderness to look for plants That can be turned into medically-viable drugs In humans' ongoing war against disease. (wiart speaking) Morton: What makes the malaysian rainforest promising Is that it's extremely old. There are parts of the jungle that human eyes have never seen. It's also, like all jungles, a hyper-competitive place Where plants and animals are constantly forced to adapt to survive. (wiart speaking) ♪ Is this really what we're doing? Uh... (laughs) Uh... (laughs) I think this is the trail. Holy shit. Morton: Part of the reason more drugs don't come out of the rainforest Is because people of dr. Wiart's expertise Are hard to come by. Identifying medicinal plants Isn't a common skill anymore in our pill-centric world. ♪ (wiart speaking) Morton: That's amazing. (wiart speaking) Morton: Yeah. (wiart speaking) ♪ (wiart speaking) Okay. (wiart speaking) Morton: No. Oh, I missed that. (wiart speaking) Ooh. Right. We've already found a lot of things just by, like, stopping for a few seconds. Morton: One of the reasons a lot of these drugs Probably haven't been found is 'cause, first of all, It's hard to find the plants, because they're in the fucking jungle, And you got to come here and get into the jungle. And then, second of all, you'd expect new antibiotics To look like the craziest plants in the jungle. It'd be like weird, rare orchids that you have to, You know, climb a mountain and snip. But they're not, they just look like this. You have to really know what you're looking for to find stuff That could be potentially useful. So, the thrill of the find is a plant that looks Exactly like this, but slightly different. ♪ Wiart: Oh! Uh-huh! Morton: Oh, wow. (wiart speaking) Morton: Right, just bow it. (wiart speaking) We're just very carefully taking some branches off a tree In hopes of curing mankind of disease. (wiart speaking) Morton: Mm-hm. (wiart speaking) Morton: Yeah. Have you seen this plant before... In the jungle? This is the first time? Wow. (wiart speaks) When dr. Wiart goes out into the jungle and finds plants, they have to be tested. This is his lab at the university of nottingham, malaysia campus. We're gonna see how plants get turned into drugs. Mogana rajagopal: This is the lab where we have the fresh plants. So once we actually grind them, place it in a vessel like this, And we'll fill it up with the solvent, Then we will have all the goodies here. Morton: Plant matter is run through a battery of tests To extract its constituent chemicals, figure out what they are, And then try them against an array of bacterial antagonists To see if they'll make good medicine. Unfortunately, this process can take years for each chemical, And that's not even getting into the human trials that are required To bring a new drug to market, which can take up to a decade. In the meantime, outbreaks of drug-resistant diseases Have been increasing with insane speed. The cdc estimates that over two million americans Get antibacterial resistant infections every year, Killing a total of 23,000. David I'heureux contracted one of these superbugs, An extremely drug-resistant strain of an intestinal bacteria Called clostridium difficile. He survived the initial infection, though not all of him. David: So now I wear this bag here, Which you will see through the day that, all of a sudden, You'll start seeing a lump here. Okay. And then you'll know that I'm starting to fill up. Morton: That pouch is called an ileostomy bag. David's stomach empties directly into it, because he no longer has an intestine. David, who, by the way, was a paramedic, Contracted his bacterial infection while consulting at a hospital in china. When he got back to the states with severe diarrhea, His doctor put him on an iv of cipro, A powerful broad-spectrum antibiotic. Instead of fighting the c. Diff, however, due to its resistance, The cipro effectively cleared out the rest of the bacteria living in his gi tract, Including the good, healthy kind, thereby allowing the c. Diff To go from infecting part of his intestine to colonizing the whole thing. That night, I started having some abdominal pain. The next day, the abdominal pain was getting a lot worse. My fever was increasing. I knew something was wrong. I went to see my physician. I was very dehydrated, so he hospitalized me. I called my friends and said, "listen, I'm in the hospital, "but I should be getting out, and I should see you guys in a couple days." And that's the last thing I remember. Morton: Since it had colonized his entire intestine, Thanks to the antibiotics, david's infection progressed at a terrifying pace, Leading doctors to put him in a months-long coma While they tried and failed to treat it. I had got what was called toxic megacolon, Meaning that my colon was so badly infected, it was dying. They made the incision, I was so swollen, there was so much pressure in there, It started to open up my abdomen on its own as soon as they started to cut. They basically took out my intestine, Which was approximately this big at that point. Whoa. So that's where all the pressure and the size came. And they took it all out and they were able to save a little bit of it. I don't have a lot of small intestine left, And now I'm gonna go ahead and just put it on. I would recommend to anybody, if you don't need an antibiotic, absolutely stay away from it, And if you don't need to be in the hospital, don't go. Morton: According to the cdc, up to half of all antibiotics Prescribed worldwide aren't fully needed. This overuse directly accelerates bacteria's buildup of resistance, Rendering more and more antibiotics completely useless Against diseases they used to kill on sight. Because hospitals use antibiotics, They're a hotbed for antibiotic-resistant diseases. There's actually a class of diseases Called "hospital-acquired infections," Which you get while you're at a hospital being treated for something else. Antibiotic resistance has been a problem for a very long time. What is different now than before is that in the past, We always had another antibiotic That would bail us out of the problem of resistance. We don't have that luxury anymore. We're out in some instances. There are patients for whom we have no antibiotics. These are nightmare bacteria That have now developed resistance To every single antibiotic that we have available to us. So, what happened? Why did we stop discovering as many new antibiotics? The development of new antibiotics got a lot harder. The easier targets for antibiotics were all discovered and exploited. So if we don't keep up on the other side of the equation with drug discovery, We will continue to find ourselves challenged more and more With infections that we can't treat. Morton: As traditional lab-based research yields fewer and fewer new antibiotics, Science has turned its attention to one of the planet's Last natural pharmacopoeias... Caves. Put your weight on the rope. ♪ Morton: This cave is fucking enormous, jesus christ. This is insane. This is cagle cave in, uh, tennessee. Brian is coming down on the next rope behind me. He is a chemist who is, uh, in the field of drug discovery, But instead of rainforests, he is, uh, looking for microorganisms In the bottom of gigantic holes like these. Hopefully, there will be things in here that are helpful for the discovery of antibiotics. Ah! ♪ Brian: We're gonna collect probably about 20 or 30 samples From all over the cave. So we tend to focus on wet things, because life likes water. What kind of life lives down here? Lots of different species of bacteria. It's very competitive, so they're competing for the sparse amount of nutrients That eventually drip their way down to the percolating soil. And they do what they have to do to survive, whatever that's going to be. (grunts) I mean, with my eye, but when I look at this wall here, you see little circular things. That's life. There's some yellow ones, and there's some grey ones, and grey-blue, right? Mm-hm. Those are consortia of microorganisms. Okay, like little towns. Yeah, you can see them going all the way up. Yeah. I can't think of anywhere else in nature Where I can see a colony of bacteria growing on the wall. Why is that? It's a great natural environment For exactly the kind of organisms that we're looking for. ♪ Bachmann: Antibiotics probably saved more people than any other medical breakthrough. It's an arms race at the molecular level between these microbes. So we're gonna just have to be continuously working To replenish our sources to fight these things. Morton: While the average cave trip nets some 20 to 30 good samples, They hit the same bottleneck as dr. Wiart's plants when they get to the lab. Isolating and assessing individual chemicals for medical viability Is a time-devouring process, mostly predicated on trial and error, And time is a resource we don't have. There, you know, have been discussions for a long time About the post-antibiotic era, and we're there now. What is the post-antibiotic era like? Like, what does that mean for medicine? The failure of antibiotics Could be devastating for the practice of medicine. Before antibiotics, patients died of simple infections. Patients who got cuts and scrapes and then those got infected, Patients who developed pneumonia. It would mean that we're less able to do the types of invasive procedures And treatments like chemotherapy and organ transplants, Where we depend on effective antibiotics. Much like the discovery of antibiotics transformed The practice of medicine in a good way, The loss of effective antibiotics would transform medicine in a horrible way. Morton: Worse enough, the natural environments that may harbor the drugs That'll prevent modern medicie from regressing to the age of leeches Are not environments we're doing a great job preserving. (chainsaw revving) And if the past few decades are any indicator, Malaysia's developers are a lot more interested in tearing down the forest To make way for palm oil plantations Than keeping it pristine for potential drug discovery. (wiart speaking) The clearing of tropical rainforests threatens more Than just the search for new medicines. As the jungles are burned, They release enormous amounts of carbon into the atmosphere. Now, one of the biggest threas to rainforests in southeast asia Is the mass cultivation of palm oil. It's an ingredient in almost everything we buy at the grocery store. So we sent ben anderson to indonesia to see first-hand The devastating effects of the booming palm oil industry. ♪ So we've just driven onto a palm oil plantation. And you can see every half-mile or so just another perfectly straight row Connecting all these perfectly straight lines of palm trees. We just drove through miles and miles of palm oil plantations, And then got our first glimpse of what's left of the primary rainforest here. But as soon as you get your first glimpse of the rainforest, You also get your first glimpse of that rainforest being destroyed. Just knocking down trees, like me knocking down a candle On a birthday cake. A hillside like this, It feels like it's an afternoon's work. Anderson: But despite it being done so openly, This deforestation is completely illegal. Indonesia is the number one palm oil growing nation in the world. It has increased its output by nearly 700% in the last 20 years. This surge in production has been driven By the increased worldwide demand for palm oil. It's virtually impossible to avoid palm oil in the modern world. It's in many of the foods we eat-- Packaged bread, noodles, cookies and ice cream-- And in a lot of our household goods-- Toothpaste, cosmetics, soaps and detergents. And it's this demand which is driving deforestation around the world. Since 2000, more than 14 million acres Of tropical rainforest have been destroyed. And even though ecosystems like this one are supposed to be protected By the indonesian government, The destruction is continuing almost unabated. To find out the extent of illegal palm cultivation here in indonesia, We spoke with glenn hurowitz, Managing director of climate advisers, And an expert on the palm oil industry. Historically, 60-80% of palm oil Comes from illegally- established plantations. A huge percentage of the industry Is based on illegal land grabs. A palm oil company decides, "we want to plant in a certain area," And regardless of whether it's a protected forest, they will go ahead and plant. The indonesian government requires a whole series of permits In order for a plantation to be legal. Unfortunately, a palm oil company often finds it more efficient To bribe a local official to get the rights to the land. And government officials at all levels have their hands out for bribes. Anderson: These bribes seem to go a long way Because producers are not only illegally cutting down these protected forests, But are also displacing the indigenous communities living there. And whatever protest they've made to stop these practices have fallen on deaf ears. (shouting in foreign language) (shouting) (crowd shouting) Anderson: We met with residents of north aceh, One of the areas most affected by deforestation. When we drove here, we passed lots of palm oil plantations. Did all of that area used to look like this rainforest? (speaking foreign language) Anderson: They said that they've already started resisting And took me to see an excavatr that had been stolen From one of the palm oil companies. They've admitted that they confiscated one of these As a tactic to try and discourage the company, But no one is admitting who set this one on fire. But clearly the message is that if this continues, Then things like this are just a taste of what's to come. (man speaking foreign language) Anderson: Elsewhere in sumatra, Other people have also started taking matters into their hands. Rudi putra, a biologist by trade, Leads a campaign to dismantle illegal palm oil plantations, Even if he has to do it tree by tree. (putra speaking english) Anderson: All rudi is doing is enforcing the law, But he still needs the protection of local policemen while he works. Humans aren't the only ones affected by the destruction of the forests. Once abundant, many species of wildlife now face extinction. (air rifle poofs) (speaking foreign language) (people speaking foreign language) (people speaking foreign language) Anderson: So can you describe what happened today? We're catching wild orangutans, And we don't really want to do that. Anderson: This is dr. Ian singleton, Conservation director of the sumatran orangutan conservation program. He finds himself having to hut through the fast-disappearing indonesian rainforest With his tranquilizer gun trying to capture these apes Before they are killed so he can move them to a safer and bigger patch of forest. When you have to do this, it means you've already kind of failed, you know? The ideal situation is to protect the forest And stop any more forest being chopped down, But most of the area has already been converted to palm oil And the orangutans are dying as we speak. (people speaking foreign language) Singleton: They will get an opportunity to live a long and productive life. All the other orangutans that we don't manage to get out of these areas, They're not going to do that, they're going to be dead probably within the year. And this area is supposed to be protected, isn't it? It's part of the leuser ecosystem, yeah, A national strategic area for its environmental function. The biggest, most important forest plots in the whole of southeast asia. There is a really serious threat now from the aceh government's special plan To just wipe it off the map. Just ignore it and pretend it never existed And open the whole area to palm oil plantations. It's pure greed. Anderson: To clear the land they cover, Cash-hungry producers simply burn the forest to the ground. The biggest problem with oil palm now Is in order to clear the land properly And prepare it for oil palm you've got to burn it. Anderson: This is conservationist mike griffiths, Who's been fighting to save the rainforest for the last three decades. Griffiths: This is a relatively small one, believe it or not. The big ones are picked up on the satellite. Anderson: On what kind of scale, nationally? It's industrial grade. So hundreds, maybe even thousands of fires, Just like this across the whole country daily. Sure. Yeah. From the oil palm plantation's point of view, it's a very good system. It's not very complicated, and it's cheap. ♪ I mean, now you can't see 10-15 meters-- let's get out of here. Anderson: It feels like dusk, but it isn't, is it? That's just the smoke. Griffiths: A lot of people throughout the whole of this province Are now suffering from respiratory problems because of this pollution. Anderson: The health threat that the smoke poses Is only a small part of the problem with these fires. As mike then went on to explain, it's the specific nature of the forest itself That has even larger, global ramifications. Really? Hey, it all worked out - for the best, right? - Yep. - Good night, Mr. President. - Good night. ¶ I just did a thing I said I won't do ¶ ¶ I just did a thing I said I don't do ¶ ¶ Big track up 'cause I'm about to go, cool ¶ ¶ 'Cause I just lied to the big man I spoke to ¶ ¶ I gotta get this together. ¶ But my wild side was like whatever ¶ ¶ My mom said, Jay, I'm worried ¶ ¶ Baby, you need to get your life together ¶ ¶ Well, Mama, do you know the pressure ¶ ¶ Of life's pleasures when them nuts sweat you-- ¶ Cut it off! What's going on, New York? How y'all feel, baby? Oh, man. Jay Pharoah taping his special in New York, bitch. I love New York, man. Got everything here. Everything! You got foreigners. Statue of Liberty. Beautiful women. Ebola. You might as well laugh, folks, 'cause we all gonna die in about a couple of months. That Ebola shit is no joke. I never thought that HIV could be the lesser. You know what I mean? You hear conversations like, "Yo, man, I got HIV." "Oh, that's cool. "As long as you ain't got that Ebola shit. "Come over here, drink from my cups. Come over here." I'm gonna tell you, look, I don't even shake nobody's hands no more. I'm telling you this. I don't fist bump. None of that shit. I do this just right here. If you can't do this, then you can't get down with me. This is "Elbow-la," nigga. That's what this is. Elbow-la. I don't play. I was in the Western Union the other day. You know, 'cause my family is awesome. And, um, there was a dude behind me, right? Dude behind me, he was just hacking. "A-hock-a-da-hock-a-da- hock-a-da." And even though I knew he was from the Middle East, I was still a little bit scared, because the chick behind him was just sneezing, achoo! I was in that bitch looking like ISIS, just... I looked like ISIS. "I See Infected Sons of bitches." That's what it is. But damn, this shit's crazy, man. We gotta do something. It's crazy. I love New York. Doing a show here, man. You know, 'cause sometimes I do shows in weird places. Like, I just came back from Seattle, Washington. That place is weird. 'Cause Richard Sherman is there, and I'm scared of that guy, okay? 'Cause he's so forceful for no reason, right? "Well, when you put me up against "a sorry receiver like Crabtree, that's what you gonna get!" I said, "Calm down. It's not that serious." Ladies, let me tell you something. That's the type of dude, if he say you in a relationship, you's in a relationship. There's nothing you can do about it. He walk right up to you, "You coming with me." You say, "Bitch, I guess I'm going with him then." "Fuck it. That's my baby now." I'm serious, man. Oh, boy, it's so diverse in here. I love it. Ten Black people. Thank y'all for coming. It's-- You aware that we are seriously a minority right now, and it's-- And it's cool. You know what, 'cause I love white folks. You gotta understand, I do. You know, 'cause when I first moved to New York, I moved into a dangerous neighborhood. And when I saw y'all walking around, I felt safe. 'Cause I know when it all come down to it, y'all would get robbed before I will. Now I know you're looking at me like that's a punk move, but I ain't a punk, I'm a survivor. It's a difference, okay? "'Cause if I see a 7'16" nigga come in here right now, talking about he robbing us... I'm switching sides. I'm just letting you know. He gonna be like, "Everybody, get on the ground." I'm gonna be like, "Yeah, everybody get on the ground." This is a stickup, bitch." 'Cause I ain't no punk. I'm a survivor, you feel me? Even in my woman selection. That's why I can never mess with somebody like Serena Williams. Mm-mm. That's a big woman, ain't it? She look like the type, as soon as you put your thing in her, she will clinch up every muscle in her body and just detach your penis, right? Somehow suck it up all the way through her body and then spit it out in her hand like, "Pfft, take your little dick back, nigga." And would have to sit there and then pick it up and walk off with it. 'Cause you ain't gonna fight her. Look at her. She's bigger than an Avatar. She's humungous. Mutombo wouldn't sleep with her. He'd be like... "No, no, no, no. That bitch, not in my house, no, no, no, no." Speaking of big stuff, I'm sorry, y'all. I gotta get this out of my pocket. Look at this big-ass phone. This don't make no sense. Y'all remember when phones-- I got ear cancer right now. I know I do. Y'all remember when phones was getting smaller and smaller and smaller? Now they're getting bigger and bigger and bigger. By 2017, people are gonna be walking around just like this. Be like, "Yo, man, did you get my text message?" "God got your text messages." I can't stand these phones. They think they can tell you what you can and what you can't say. You ever had that? "Ooh, you spelled a word wrong." Let me tell you something, smartphone. I spent $500 for you. If I want to spell "crusty" with a "K," then, bitch, I'm gonna do it! Messing up my damn conversation. I'm on my phone, on my Facebook, trying to type in "Happy birthday, Tupac." But the autocorrect gonna change it to, "Happy birthday, Tuna." I had 200 likes. And some dumbass even commented under, "I didn't even know tuna fish was created today." And you ever had somebody say something so stupid to you on Facebook, you just had to go investigate their profile just a little bit? Like, I went to the man's profile. He said he was studying to be an RN. I said, "Ha, you already an RN." A retarded nigga! And shout-out to everybody in here right now, shout-out to everybody who got a smartphone with a cracked screen. Mm-hmm. Talking about you waiting for your upgrade. But your shit ain't till two years later. So every time you get a text message, you're getting glass shards in your finger and shit. Girl talking about, "Why it take you so long to text back?" "'Cause it hurts, bitch!" And they got this stupid app now, and it's called Snapchat. I don't know if y'all have heard of this. That is the dumbest app I have ever heard of. It's an app that allows you to take a picture and send it to somebody, and it disappears within a matter of seconds. It's kinda like this, ladies. I sent you a picture of my dick. No, I didn't. I had a chick, right, and she was looking sexy, man. She had on the thigh-high stockings. She had her breasts all out, and she was looking amazing. And she sent me this damn picture, but it disappeared. I was like... I texted her back mad as hell like, "What the hell did you send me this for? "I can't jerk off in five seconds! What the hell?" You find somebody that can jerk off in five seconds, they need to be put in the Guinness Book of World Records, and they need to fun for the presidency next term, 'cause they can get shit done fast. That's all I'm saying. But not me. I'm not a punk. I'm a survivor, man. Give y'all some background. You know me, I used to work at Golden Corral. "Whoo," my ass. That place is terrible. As soon as you walk in, it smell like diabetes, don't it? You know it's bad when the only good thing you can say about your establishment is, "Uh, we got a chocolate fountain." That's the best thing about it. I seen a nigga put a steak in there. And he was just turning it like a rotisserie chicken, just... I said, "Your fat ass gonna die, man." Now I used to work in the back, washing the plates, the knives and the forks with my white friend, James. Now, there was an old Black dude named Fred, he used to wash the pots and the pans. Now Chris Rock said it the best about old Black men. He said it the best, he said... "Old Black men "are the most racist people in the world. "Who the fuck are you? Who the fuck are you?" "Who the fuck are you to talk about..." "They don't even fucking fight you. They just shoot you, ahh." So they decided to send rolls to the back, right? I thought it'd be funny to pick up a roll and throw it at Fred. 'Cause I like messing with people. I picked up the roll, I threw it at Fred. It hit him, hit his water. The water splashed him in his face. But he thought that James threw the roll. Yeah, "Oh, shit," right? So in the back of Golden Corral, I kid you not, he had a civil rights flashback right there. And it's like he turned back into a slave as soon as it happened, man. He said, "Woosh!" "Hey, cracker! "You's throw another roll, and I's gonna fuck you up." Now, New York, I had a decision to make. But I ain't no punk, I'm a survivor, so I was like, "Yeah, throw another roll, cracker." And I was like... ¶ Wade in the water. ¶ Wade in the water. ¶ Whoa wade in the water. ¶ Me and Fred gonna stick together ¶ 'Cause I ain't a punk. I'm a survivor. Hell, yeah. That's why I can't smoke weed. Weed is dangerous for somebody like me. I already got too many voices in my head. Last time I smoked weed, I got so high I was driving around looking for my car keys. Just stopping people in my neighborhood. "Hey, yo, you seen my car keys, man?" "No, for real. You seen my car keys?" The dude that I asked, he was high too. He was like, "Maybe you should keep driving around" till you find them." But I was so messed up, I was like, "That's a good idea. I'm gonna keep driving." I can't do it. I'm messed up, man. I'm messed up. I went to the West Coast. I did a show out in Oakland. That's already a bad situation. And I had something called a weed cookie. Yes, "Ooh," is right. I was high for two days straight. It was so bad, I was in my hotel room in the bathroom mirror having an in-depth conversation with myself about why I should keep my voice down. Because the walls were thin, and the next-door neighbors was gonna think I was crazy. So I'm in my hotel room looking and sounding like Sméagol from Lord of the Rings. It was--it was off. I was like... "You must stop talking" "to yourself, Precious." "You must stop talking to yourself." "No, no, do what you want. "It's fine. "Gollum! Gollum! "No. "They're gonna think we're crazy. "They're gonna think we're like Kanye West or Miley Cyrus." And I kid you not-- I kid you not, I heard somebody in the next room on the telephone like, "Yo, I think there's 18 people in there. And that's a fire hazard. We can't have that." I'm not the type who can do it. Dave Chappelle, totally different. One of my comedic idols. That man can smoke as much weed as he wants to, and it would not once mess with his creativity. He even lets you know. "Hold on, baby. "Now, I smoke weed, nigga, oh. "Weed is good for your system nigga, oh. "Sometimes when you smoke weed "you get a Comedy Central show. "A chaya-ching, a chaya-ching! "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. "Oh! "Yeah, baby. "Unh! It's purple, bitch!" Let me tell you, and they used to smoke all the time when I was in school, and I ain't never partake. I was an outcast in school. A lot of folks are always like, "Jay Pharoah, how you learn to come up with so many voices?" I be like, "Because I had no fucking friends." I had to make people up." That's why I get mad when people talk about bullying, like it's such a bad thing. You hear the, "Stop the bullying!" Shut your dumb ass up! If I wouldn't have got bullied the way I got bullied, I wouldn't be on national television right now. So all the time it's not a bad thing. All right? Shoot, 'cause these little kids are punk asses nowadays. They are punk asses. They be coming home bitching, "Ehh! He's bullying me." "Well, bully him." "Ehh! He's talking about me." "Talk about his ass." "Ehh! He hit me with a car." "Then, bitch, shoot him. How 'bout that? You know what I'm saying?" Okay, all right. I know. I shouldn't talk about guns. We've had terrible things happen. To the people in the Boston bombing, my heart goes out to them. To the people in The Dark Knight shooting, my heart goes out to them. Anybody that's lost their life to gun violence or any artillery, my heart goes out to them. It's not a good thing. But I be thinking... about that Dark Knight thing. And, uh, there couldn't have been no hood Black people there, right? 'Cause they would've had they guns ready, right? Like, as soon as he pulled his thing out, they'd be like, "What's your problem, dog? "You better go somewhere with that bull, bro. "We've been waiting two months to see this movie, all right? You better go shoot up Ice Age 4." And then in the Boston bombing, they couldn't even get no Black people 'cause we was already finished with the race, so... We was at IHOP just eating a short stack, looking at the damn-- Like, "What?" "When in the hell did this happen?" "This Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity good as a bitch though, I'll tell you that." And people always say the same thing when bad things happen. "Oh, my God! "Why do people do such things? Oh, my God!" This is my impression of a concerned white woman. "Oh, my God! "Why do people do such things? Oh, my God, Karen!" It's always a Karen. "Oh, my God, Karen!" Yo, I learned something. You want to go to a white people's party, say you know Karen. They will take care of your ass the whole day. "You know Karen? "Well, come on, sit down. Have a pumpkin spice latte." Now, I'm gonna tell you why these bad things happen. It's the parenting. That's what the hell it is. Now, parenting, now I'm not gonna get cliché like every other Black comedian, get on this stage and say you should whup your kids. 'Cause honestly, I got whipped, and I'm halfway retarded, okay? But what you should-- And whupping your kids is not really a good thing to do right now. Look at Adrian Peterson. Now what did he really do? Okay, he hit his son with a switch. That's it? 'Cause my mom hit me with... anything she could find. One time she fucked me up with a Ninja Turtles umbrella. I couldn't even watch the series anymore. Every time the theme music came on, I just started having a breakdown and shit. It'd be... ¶ Teenage Mutant-- I'd be, "Ahhh!" And you know, I was a little mischievous when I was a little kid. Okay, you know, my pop got me too. You know, he in here. He got me. He got me, man. This one time he beat me in front of the church with drumsticks. And he was the drummer. It wasn't even a whipping for him. It was practice. As soon as he was done, he just got back on the stand and just kept doing the same shit just like this here. I said, "You learned that here first." "I'm gonna need some royalties for that shit, you know what I'm saying?" It's all good. I love my pop, man. But you know, you know how men do. You know, a lot of men don't get their stuff together until they 50, you know? You know. You know what I'm saying? They go back to school. Now they want to get their degree and shit, and the wife's sitting there like, "Now you wanna do it, nigga? "You wanna do that shit now? "I done been telling your ass for 20 years. You wanna do that shit now?" My pop is cool, man. I just think that sometimes he puts blame on other people for his shortcomings. Which is cool, you know? We all do it. Like, every time I go home and he has a bad day he's like, "Ugh." I was like, "Dad, what's wrong?" "These crackers keep holding me down, son." I said, "Daddy, the crackers ain't holding you down." "That associate's degree is holding you down. "Maybe you need to go to school a couple more years and upgrade." 'Cause an associate's degree is basically like the college saying, "Yeah, we associate with you. We just don't fuck with you," you know what I'm saying? It's real stuff, man. But it's about the parenting. Okay? You ain't gotta whup your kids, you know? Change your personality, scare the hell out of them. That's what it's about. It's about scaring them, putting that fear in 'em. You ever ran away from your damn mom or your dad in the mall? When they found you, what the hell did they do? My mom shook me like a Polaroid picture. That's what the hell she did. She be like, "Don't you ever run away from me again." I will kill you! As long as you stay Black--" I'm like, "When am I gonna change? What-- What am I--". "As long as you stay Black, don't you ever run away from me again." And then I'd cry so hard, I could only get one letter out. I be, "Uh--Uh--Uh--". Eeeeh!" You ever seen a little kid get disciplined? He be crying, he be, "Eeeh!" And it's sprinkler cry, "Tsh-tsh-tsh--eeeeh!" I'm saying, you ain't gotta whip 'em. You change your personality. Go Bernie Mac on 'em one damn time and see how they feel. Just let 'em talk back to you. "Shut up, Mom!" "What the fuck did you just say? "And let me tell you something. You better sit there and shut what they call the fuck up." "And I'm gonna tell you something. "You come over here again, gonna be trouble, trouble. "Bust a move! Bust a motherfucking move! Son of a bitch!" Y'all know the man's eyes was crossed, come on now. It's about an authoritative tone, man. I'm tired of going to the malls and seeing situations with a little kid just running amok. You ever seen 'em? "Eeeh!" And the mom's like, "What the fuck? "Oh, my God, why don't you just listen? Why don't you do what I tell you?" And the little kid get up all disrespectful. "I don't know!" "How come you can't be a good mom, Margaret?" Gonna call the mom out by the first name. I wish I would call my moms out by her first name. I would no longer have a mouth on my face, do you hear me? I'd be talking from a hole in my neck like Terrie from the smoking commercials. You ever see her? ¶ You know I'm gonna do it for you ¶ She be... "Hi. "My name Terrie. "And I'm a smoker. "And you put on your wig, put in your teeth, "and go about your day. I'm a smoker." A what? "A smoker." A mimosa? "A smoker!" I'm sorry. But for everybody who has seen that commercial, that is not just cigarettes. That's meth, nigga. That's what that is. Oh, oh! Oh, I would love to see her drinking from a water fountain. I would love it. She just be drinking-- She-- Got little kids running past her with quarters and nickels. "Make a wish, man! Make a wish." I'm sorry. It's about an authoritative tone. That's how I know that Jay-Z is not gonna be able to control Blue Ivy when she gets older. His voice is too light. And first of all, Jay-Z's voice, man, it's just so fun. If he was outside of a haunted house, it would be hilarious. He'd be trying to warn people about what's going on in the haunted house, he'd be... "Yo, don't go in there. There's a ghost in there." "Jeah, eh, eh, eh." ¶ Jeah, gather 'round hustlers ¶ ¶ That's if you still living. ¶ And get on down to that oh, eh, eh, HOV ¶ "Look. "Okay, you wanna go in there? "You serious? "Okay, you're dead. Bye-bye. "Fuck you. Ha ha ha ha, yep." "Yep!" "Solange is in there. Be careful." Blue Ivy, man. That don't even sound like a real name. That sound like stripper lotion, don't it? "Girl, I don't never go down the pole "without my Blue Ivy, girl. "'Cause I ain't trying to get leg burn. Boom, boom, hey!" And, Black women, some of y'all do this. What the hell is this? It's like y'all trying to pull a conversation out the sky. You know like, "Hey, my name's Tammy. "I work at Walgreens, "and I make 7.25 an hour. Ain't nobody got time for that, hey." You seen this person before. You be at the McDonald's. You be like, "Excuse me." Let me get a Big Mac, McChicken sandwich." She come out with an attitude, just dancing. "Pshh, pshh, pshh, pshh! "We ain't got no Big Macs, no McChicken sandwiches. "So Big Mac your ass out the front door. "Big Mac your ass out the front door. Surfboard, surfboard, graining on that wood." Look at some of the white people like, "Yeah, I fired somebody like that earlier this week. Won't have to worry about LaQuifa anymore." White people and people in the corporate world, I love to see how y'all react to folks that come in the office with dreadlocks. It's so funny. 'Cause y'all get nervous. As soon as you see 'em, you be... "Uh... Hello." That means, "What the hell are you doing here?" "Uh... Can I help you?" That means, "Please don't rob me." And the guy will be the nicest dude ever. He's like, "Well, actually, my name's Jamal." "I just graduated from Harvard, "and I can't wait to start the IT program, 'cause I really feel I can be a valuable asset to the team." "Okay, Jamal. "Well, I'm gonna go call up Karen and see if she knows anything about this." There's always a Karen. Oh, I'm sorry, I was in the middle of a bit. Hold up. "Hey!" How you gonna control a child named Blue Ivy? She's sitting there pitching a fit, and Jay-Z looking all helpless. He just... "Oh, oh. "Yo. "Hey, yo, Blue, you really need to calm down, you know? "'Cause I'm really starting to get irritated, you know? Jeah." ¶ All I'm saying is I'm your daddy ¶ ¶ You my little baby goi-rl. "Jeah." ¶ But you don't want me to go and get that belt ¶ ¶ 'Cause if I do both of your ass cheeks will melt ¶ "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha." Shoot, Blue Ivy gonna look her dad dead in the face and be just like this here. "Do you hear what you named me? Fuck you, Shawn." "And since you wanna name me weird stuff, "I'm gonna go sleep with Chris Brown and R. Kelly. How you like that?" Oh, don't get sensitive. Y'all act like I said Flavor Flav. Don't get sensitive. Don't give a damn what R. Kelly did. He makes good music. He makes stepping' songs, baby. And stepping' songs means something to everybody up in here. Steppin' songs be the jump-off to cookouts, don't they? Don't they? Don't they? Ma'am, you be at a cookout. Let The Electric Slide come on. You will drop your potato salad right there. That's what you'll do. Hey, folks, there's a song that has been out for years. It's called the Cha-Cha Slide. Now you let that song come on anywhere, let that song come on when my family's at a funeral. Well, guess what, if we carrying the casket, we dropping it right damn there. That's what's gonna happen. Let the music play long enough, the corpse start dancing. Corpse come out of the casket, "Whoo, Charlie Brown," he be-- Everybody at the funeral, "Aah!" I make that noise when I get excited. Like, look, if I'm getting a haircut, and it look really good, I look at myself in the mirror and I be like, "Oh, look at that boy. That boy fresh. Look at that boy, that boy!" Now if they cut me up to back too far, and have a cul-de-sac on top of my shit, have me looking like Stephen A. Smith, well, I'll go right into it, I be... "Oh, this is blasphemous. "On the cusp of what seems to be "one of the biggest interviews of my life, "you have cut me up to back too far. "You're worse than Mario Chalmers "and Tiago Splitter if they were ever barbers. "You should have your barber's license revoked. You should never be able to cut anybody's hair." Have fun with your life, man. I have fun doing this for y'all. You gotta have fun. You don't know how long you're gonna be here. You gotta keep yourself in shape. You lift weights? All the time. He's like, "Yeah, I lift. Yeah." Look, man, you gotta keep yourself in shape, 'cause you don't wanna get "stitties." Stitties. Stomach titties. You ever seen that? Be a big-ass piece of meat just falling down here. Big-ass piece of meat just falling all the way down here, look like you can play hacky-sack with it. You just go just like this here. Hey, folks, I can talk about it, 'cause I used to be fat. I used to be big as hell, okay? I was 5'8", I was 250 pounds, and I was 17. That's a fat fuck. That's what it is. I lost 75 pounds in, like, four months. I'm not kidding about this, you know what I'm saying? It's real. You can do it. But, you know, it was bad. You know, I was one of those little fat kids that didn't want nobody to see my breasts. So I swam around in the pool with a shirt on. But then you pop out the pool, and everybody can see your breasts anyway. It's like, "Well, nigga, it's a wet T-shirt contest." "We can--we can see your titties, and you won, nigga. You won. You really did." All I'm saying is you gotta have fun with your life. Just have fun. People, Kanye West looks like he has a lot of fun with his life. But what is wrong with that guy? What is wrong with Kanye West? I think it's because he's got the short man complex. You know what I'm talking about? Anybody under 5'5" is mad at the world for no fucking reason. And I understand Kanye West is 5'8", but he got the swagger of a Keebler Elf. That's all I'm trying to say to you. Kanye West is a Keebler Elf. That's funny as hell, I'm sorry. He be-- "Hold on, fam. "Who else you know-- "Who else you know can take swirls "and connect them with the chocolate chips "just like I did, fam? "Can't nobody do that like I did, fam. "Yo, fuck all these elves, fam! "It's me, heh-heh! I am a God." What the fuck? Even Katt Williams would look at him like... "Nigga, you need to calm "your ass down, boo-boo. "Because you are really starting "to make us elf people look very crazy. "And what you need to do "is sit your ass in the corner, "enjoy your goddamn cookies, "and have a good life in this raggedy son of a bitch. "'Cause I got all the edibles a pimp could want to eat. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Pimpin', pimpin'." All right. I know there's a few people confused. Some people are confused like, "What the hell is a Katt Williams? What is that, a negro feline or something like that?" Have fun. Kanye West, man. That short man complex, man, that shit transcends species. That's why you'll see a Chihuahua trying to fight Rottweiler for no reason. I know when I talk about dogs some people get tight. "Don't talk about the baby." Baby? Ma'am, your poodle did not come out of your vagina. I don't know what you talking about. It's not a baby. It's a dog. You know what I'm saying? And y'all be abusing the hell out y'all dogs, and I'm gonna tell you how. Putting them little outfits on them. They don't wanna wear that shit. "But he's cold. He's cold." He's got fur. Fur, dumbass. Fur! You ain't never turned to Animal Planet and seen a polar bear with a down jacket on, have you? "Don't talk about the baby." And it messes you up too, 'cause some people put their dogs in strollers. So you be expecting to see a little one-year-old, but you go up to the stroller and you see this shit right here. "What up, nigga?" What? The hell you doing in here? You got four legs. Walk, motherfucker! "Don't talk about the baby. Not the baby." That reminds me of The Wolf of Wall Street. Y'all seen that movie? Now, uh, first off, Margot Robbie, the main chick in that movie, uh, she can get the dick. That's my woman crush Wednesday every damn Wednesday, I'm telling-- She, "Mommy doesn't feel like wearing any more panties." And I said, "I agree with you. Yeah, you shouldn't." But the part that that reminded me of in the movie was the part where Mr. Jordan, Leonardo DiCaprio, is in the car with his daughter, and he tries to run. You know what I mean? He tries to get out of there. But he hits the tree. And that's not a funny situation, 'cause putting a little kid in that situation, that's not safe. But what was funny was the caretaker that they had. You know what I mean? That Black lady that they had working, the nanny, when she came out, she was like, "Oh, Lord! Get the baby! "Oh, Lord! "Mr. Belfort done lost his mind. He done lost his mind." I said, "Does anybody else smell pancakes right now?" 'Cause I do. Anytime you hear somebody say, "Oh, Lord!" They are old as hell. I'm serious. I was watching a porno the other day. And I didn't know how old the lady was until the dude hit the spot real good. He said, "Pow!" She said, "Whoo! Oh, Lord!" I said, "I ain't watching this no more." "Smell like cookies and love in here. This remind me of Nana." Oh, pfft! Sound like my ex-girlfriend. ¶ What my girl say. Now, I don't know if y'all have seen that sketch. Yes. But look, if you laughed at it, you was laughing at my life, 'cause it was based off of some painful shit. I'm gonna be honest with you, it was about me and my ex. We're not together no more, know what I mean? But let me tell you something, my parents have been together for 33 years. And you don't have a 33-- And you do not have 33 years of a relationship without going through little bumps and bruises. And if they can't get through the bumps and bruises, forget about 'em. Find you somebody that's your ride-or-die, you know what I'm talking about? Find you somebody else. That's got to be the yin to your yang. The peanut butter to your jelly. The Gayle King to your Oprah. If they ain't got your back, and you find you somebody else, 'cause it-- She--she done been up there. Look. I'm saying--I'm gonna show you how she ain't have my back. I'm gonna tell you, okay? We're in the Bahamas, people. Physically how she didn't have my back. We're in the Bahamas. Now, I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing, swimming. I said I shouldn't be doing it. I didn't say I couldn't do it. I said I shouldn't have been doing it. I was in the water, swimming. I swam all the way out to where the buoys were. I was just swimming like, "A-ha-ha, a-ha-ha, a-ha-ha." I looked in the water, and I seen this big brown thick thing with fins and teeth coming towards my pinky toe. Oh, it was a shark. I kid you not. And I was trying to get her attention, because when you're in a relationship and you're in danger, you're supposed to have safety signals amongst one another that you can read, right? So I went just like this, "Unh, unh, unh." That means, "Bitch, get the lifeguard." That's what that means. But she ain't understand it, right? So she's on the shore thinking I'm swimming fast for her benefit. So she's like, "Whoo, yes! Baby, go faster!" Whoo!" That's how she sounds, I swear to God. "Whoo!" I got back to the shore, I was like, "Excuse me, did you not realize. "I almost got killed by a shark? Did that not occur to you?" She said, "I didn't-- I didn't realize that." I swear that's how she talks. "I didn't realize that." I was like, "That's 'cause you mixed. "Okay, you're Black and white. "You don't have survival skills, you don't. Mm-mm." She don't. 'Cause I'm gonna tell you something. Had it been like a Black chick from the hood, Brooklyn, something--hey! She would've been in the water with a pistol, just swimming around, you know what I'm talking about? Now she would have been doggy-paddling. But she would have been swimming around. She would have been in the drink just like this, "I will fuck a shark up. "Don't you touch my baby. "Somebody gotta pay for the hotel room. I ain't doing the shit." And she would've had her head up like this the whole time, so her hair didn't get wet. She's my baby. Back to Kanye West though. Called me up, he was like, "And, you know, I didn't call you up "to, you know, knock your craft or, you know, anything, "because it would be weird for me to call up Richard Pryor or Jamie Foxx or one of the greats." I'm like, "Richard Pryor's dead. He's dead. You can't--you can't call him." This is what I'm thinking in my head the whole time. Okay, I'm listening to this man talk about himself for 11 minutes straight. At the end of the conversation, y'all, I kid you not, he says, "And I impregnated America." I said, "Worth it." This whole conversation was worth it to hear Kanye West say he took his penis and fornicated with the United States of America. My life is fucking awesome. I said, "Thank you, Kanye." It's amazing. He's--I'm telling you though, he's a cool dude, man. There's nothing bad between-- He's a very cool guy, very nice dude, you know? There's no beef whatsoever. And when I met him, I was star-struck, and that does not happen a lot. 'Cause One Direction came to SNL. Nobody cared. It was so funny. We did a shoot with them. It was 200 extra girls, and it was One Direction. As soon as the girls saw One Direction, they just lost it, they lost it. They were like, "Aaahh!" I was like, "Y'all are 11. "You shouldn't be touching yourselves like that. I'm feeling very uncomfortable right now." They got escorted out. One Direction leaves. I went to where the 200 girls were standing. I kid you not, y'all. It smelled just like farts. Do you know what that means? That means they were so excited to meet One Direction, they almost shit themselves. Now, that's a different type of fame for your ass. I know about famous, but not shit famous, right? I ain't never had somebody come up to me and be like, "Hey, Jay Pharoah! "Agh! "You the best, nigga. You... are so amazing." And I get sad, you know? 'Cause I see entertainers who I think deserve that type of notoriety, and they don't get it. Like Trey Songz. I think Trey Songz should be a lot bigger than he is. You know what I mean? He's one of the only entertainers I know that can sit there, eye-molest your girlfriend, while you watch helplessly, and there's nothing you can do but be like, "Yo, that's Trey Songz. He's eye-molesting my woman. "I'm probably gonna sleep with her, and that's fucking awesome." Matter of fact, give me a female volunteer out of the audience right now. I'm gonna show you what he does. You? You wanna come up here? Come on, Karen, get up here. Come on. This way. Here, sit down. You look happy as shit. "Hi, everybody!" Okay, if you don't know who Trey Songz is, this is what he does, he be... ¶ Whoa, whoa, ah. ¶ Yeah. ¶ Look what the girl done did to me ¶ Ooh! You're a little too into this shit. All right, it ain't that type of party, ma'am. Thank you so much. Peace. She was like-- She was like, "What's next, motherfucker? What's--" I'm-- But, look, it's a few entertainers who got that power, okay? It's like--there's another dude that can do that, Chris Brown. Yep, y'all gotta give it up for Chris Brown. Come on, dog, why y'all ain't clapping, man? Come on, why y'all ain't clapping? It's not like he hit y'all. What the hell? He's an all-around entertainer. He can sing, he can dance, pop-lock, box just a little bit. Um, okay, I know he was in a situation with Rihanna. Okay. And that's in the past. And, folks, you know people's love. You can't help who you love. You just can't. You can't help who you love. Some women love their man so much, even whatever situation they are in, they make up excuses for them. "Girl, this is a circle of trust." "No, bitch, that's a black eye. "Go get that checked out. That's terrible." And fellas, I ain't condoning-- You should not put your hands on a woman. You should not do that, okay? If you do that, you should be ashamed of yourself, 'cause that's sick. Violence isn't funny... all the time. Sometimes it's hilarious. Like every time we hear that Drake gets in a fight. You're like, "Dude, you're not a fighter. You're a stalker, that's what the hell you are." Listen to his lyrics. Listen to his lyrics and tell me the man not a stalker. He be... ¶ I can't get over you. ¶ You left your mark on me I'm like, "What, you got 'em in the basement or something?" He's just driving around in a random white van just picking up innocent women just, "Oh, yeah, she looks good." "Yeah. "Motherfucker! "Yeah. "Get in the car, get in the car, bitch! Get in the car!" ¶ Just hold on, we going home ¶ I like Drake though. He's just so soft though, man. That's my dude, man, but it's just, "Oh. Motherfucker. "Worse, worse." "Oh. Yeah." "What I just said was so deep. It was just, 'Oh. Oh.'" Sounds like someone hit him in the neck with a dart. "Oh. "Oh, yeah, they hit me, bitch. Ambulance, come here, come here, come here." And Lil Wayne be looking at him from the back, he be... "Yeah. What you doing on the ground, lil nigga?" ¶ What you on the ground for ¶ ¶ Weezy F baby. ¶ Please say the baby. ¶ Ridin' with your bitch. ¶ Got keys on the lady. ¶ Bitches and strippers. ¶ And strippers and strippers and bitches ¶ ¶ Bitches and strippers and money ¶ ¶ That's all I talk about. "Yeah!" I like Lil Wayne, but we all must concur in this building this evening. That man look like a big-ass cricket, don't he? It's like he call girls in the club like this. ¶ Come here baby. ¶ I wish I could chirp every girl in the world ¶ ¶ Young money yeah I'm just saying, man. What Wayne has done is he's brought a lot of people together musically, and that's what we need, baby. 'Cause discrimination is the deterioration to our nation. Huh? All I'm saying is you white, I'm Black. That don't mean we can't sleep together. It just means the baby gonna look like Barack. That's all the hell it means. If you're Asian, we can make Tiger Woods. If you're Spanish, we can make Victor Cruz. If you're Indian, I guess our children gonna open up the first chains of Subways and KFCs put together. And if you're really white, like really white, like... "Oh, yeah, white," we can make Eminem, how 'bout that? 'Cause y'all know he ain't fully white. He got some Black in him somewhere. He is too angry to be a normal white guy, I'm sorry. Every time he raps, he sound like he want to kill somebody for no damn reason, don't it? He be... ¶ I'm gonna take a bitch, put her in the trunk ¶ ¶ Drive the motherfucker off a bridge ¶ ¶ Under the water. ¶ Wait for a great white shark to come ¶ ¶ Pop the trunk, there goes the bitch ¶ ¶ Chum, chum, chum, chum. You need a hug, sir. You need PBS in your life. You need Arthur, Mr. Mathers. But it's so crazy to see Eminem's evolution, right? 'Cause how the hell do you go from rapping like this... ¶ I'm disappointed at my dentist appointment ¶ ¶ They gave me the fucking gas for 30 minutes this morning ¶ ¶ Walked in a hospital to get a chest X-ray ¶ ¶ I walked out the next day. ¶ With a dress and a sex change ¶ You're like, what? How the hell did he go from that to... ¶ Oomina-lay-la, oogie-wala-wala ¶ ¶ Swallow the garlic. Garlic, he wants to make a pizza. I get it. I understand him. I like Eminem, man. Eminem is dope. I like lyricists. I like people that actually rap. Kendrick, J. Cole, Drake, I feel like they-- They spit. I pay attention to lyricists. 'Cause y'all might not know this. I've been rapping 13 years of my life. No? She-- The Black girl, "Spit something." I said, um... I said, uh-- That's what rappers always do. "I said, uh..." ¶ Yo people say he doing comedy ¶ ¶ Why the hell he rapping. ¶ Got a heavy passion. ¶ But I can drop both and convert to acting ¶ ¶ Why do one when I can do it all ¶ ¶ 'Cause I know if they take a step in my shoes ¶ ¶ These fuckers will trip and fall ¶ ¶ People always want my position ¶ ¶ They always askin' ¶ If they play punching bag to the critics ¶ ¶ Could they everlast it. ¶ Probably OD on some dumb shit ¶ ¶ Stretched in elastic, Dead President moves ¶ ¶ TV running when the band unfastens ¶ ¶ In these last months I upgraded fashion ¶ ¶ Balenciaga sneakers, looks to kill ¶ ¶ Jay Pharoah turned assassin. ¶ Eddie Murphy's uncle said I'd be king ¶ ¶ And these niggas doubt me. ¶ That's why you might not hear from me ¶ ¶ But you'll hear about me. ¶ I'm pressing buttons and pulling cards ¶ ¶ We'll call it Alfie. ¶ Largest comedian, will it happen ¶ ¶ It May, Ralphie. ¶ Why he so fantastic for. ¶ Ask Jessica Alba. ¶ Dark and sexy, nigga. ¶ To the women I'm like Idris Elba ¶ ¶ Margot Robbie, girl you can get it ¶ ¶ I'm not committed so it's no problem ¶ ¶ Saying that I wanna hit it. ¶ I got the kinda life they kill for ¶ ¶ I got this Jordan mindset. ¶ So I'm just trying to push my bill forward ¶ ¶ I hope my ex straight. ¶ And at 12 years a slave, you free ¶ ¶ There's about a thousand of you baby ¶ ¶ But there's one of me, Kanye ¶ ¶ Good luck trying to forget. ¶ World never knew I could spit ¶ ¶ Boss so amazing legit. ¶ Champagne have me a sip. ¶ Dating these Hollywood chicks ¶ ¶ I'm smart, we ain't making no flicks ¶ ¶ 'Cause I'll be damned if she blow up on me ¶ ¶ On Kardashian shit. Balls. Hashtag, balls. Hashtag, balls. I don't know if it's time for self promotion, but, uh... the EP is out right now on SoundCloud, did you-- That's why, look, I like lyricists. That's why, in my spare time, I watch battle rap. That's what I do. Sometimes they say the smartest thing, sometimes they say the dumbest thing, but either way, it's fucking awesome. I was watching the other day, and this rapper was just like this. He goes, "Yo." ¶ I put the iron to your dome like I'm ironing clothes ¶ I was like, "Yeah." Steam that nigga, yeah." But sometimes they say stupid stuff, right? Like, I'm watching the other day and this rapper goes just like this. ¶ Yo, I'll melt your face like mozzarella ¶ Proceed. Then he was like... ¶ So be cool 'cause it's some real werewolves ¶ ¶ Around you Bella I said, "Wait a minute." "Werewolves? Bella? "Since when do gangsters watch Twilight? What the hell?" And this is what messed me up. As soon as he said that lyric, everybody in the battle at the same time was like, "Nigga!" "We just saw that on demand this morning." I said, "Gangsters watching Twilight? That makes no sense." And don't think it's all fun and games with me though. 'Cause I watch CNN. Makes no sense. You got people that get robbed, stabbed, raped, and killed. Some of them can't even get the front page of a newspaper. Meanwhile, you got Kim Kardashian who seemed like she had more exposure for her divorces and marriage than Barack had his first year in office. That didn't make any sense to me. Even Barack was like, "Uh..." "Well, uh, "that bitch gets a lot of exposure. "I mean, because, uh, uh, uh... "uh, we all want to sleep with her. "Uh, me, Sasha, Malia. "Even my dog wants to hit that. "As a matter of fact, if I get caught, uh... "with Kim Kardashian, uh... "uh, well, Michelle's just gotta let some shit slide. "Uh, I mean, come on, everybody. "Uh, her skin is soft. "Uh, she looks good. And, uh, that ass is bigger than the deficit." Aw, man, I would love to see that dude in the strip club. That'd be hilarious. He just be in the strip club, he be... "Well, uh, thanks "for bringing me here, Joe. "Uh, we gotta get a selfie with some of these asses. "Uh, hashtag it 'Obama-rama.' "Uh, I can get her to come over here if you want me to. "She knows who the hell I am. "All right, let me get her. "Uh, Peppermint, come here. "Uh, come on, sit down right here. "Now, uh, my friend here, Joe Biden, "he's, uh, he's pretty shy. "But he wants you to know that, uh, "you're very beautiful, and, uh--oh! "He won't make it rain. Uh, he'll make it Hurricane Sandy up in this bitch." Now, my fantasy pick for a president would be Eddie Murphy. 'Cause he can handle any situation. I think if he was accused of a sexual scandal, he wouldn't even care. Reporters come at him, "Eddie, so you slept with some congresswomen, man. What you got to say?" He'll be... "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! "Let me tell your ass something right now. "I just want to be honest with you right now. "Let me tell you something right now. "Yes, I did. Yes, I did. "I did it. I slept with her. "Let me tell you something. It was good," "it was sexy, and in the morning, we had waffles." "Oh, yes. "And I would have slept with your ass too, "'cause I love sex. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Please don't tweet that. I like my job. Don't tweet it, okay? I know it 'cause there's always a group of women ready to tweet something and mess up somebody's career, even though, observationally, groups of women together are so funny, 'cause one of y'all always ends up getting too drunk... Oh, my God! Flirting with the wrong-- We've learned a lot about you tonight. Getting too drunk, flirting with the wrong guy, and then your girlfriend's gotta play Save-A-Ho and get you out the situation. It's so funny. As soon as it happens, the girlfriend's like this, the one that's trying to cock-block, she's like, "No! Get the fuck off of her! "Get the fuck off of her! "She's coming home with us! She's coming home with us! "Get the fuck--get-- Get off of her! "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! "Stop it, bitch! Stop it! Ha! "Stop it! Stop it! No, let me talk to her. "Karen, look at me, Karen. "Sweetie, you're drunk, okay? "If he wants to take you out, he's gonna wait "till the freakin' sun comes up and take you out "on a respectable date like an adult. "We came together. We're leaving together. "Fuck you, Tyrone! We came together. We're leaving together." And then the girlfriend-- Then the girlfriend, she's all fucking like this. She's like, "I don't know, Karen." Her name's Karen too. "I don't know, Karen. "I mean, he's still nice. "I really can't stand up straight right now, "and I can't see his face, but I can see his shoes. Stacy Adams. They're so sexy." And then the guy gets all creepy like, "Let her make her own decisions." ¶ I got my eye on you. Any straight-up New Yorkers here right now? Yo, you can always tell when somebody's from New York, because when you get in an altercation with them, they'll let you know... what city they came from, what borough they were raised in, and at least one thing that happened to them when they was little that qualifies for them whupping your ass in a situation. Like my mom, for instance. If you would ever get in a verbal fight with my mom, it would never get to fists 'cause she'd fucking, you know, verbally--we--pfft! You know fucking New Yorkers. They fucking--they'll fuck you up, you know what I'm saying? My mom be just like this here, "Unh-uh, I'm from Brooklyn. "I'm from do-or-die Bed-Stuy Brooklyn. "Do not play with me, okay? "There was 40 roaches in my house. "We named one of 'em Spot. I'll kill you. Don't play with me." So we at the gas station, right? And this lady caught herself taking my mother's pump. But my mother wasn't having that. She told me and my sister to get out the car 'cause she was gonna discipline this lady right on spot. I said, "You gonna discipline her right on spot?" She said, "Mm-hmm." I said, "Worse than you did when you hit me" with that Ninja Turtles umbrella?" She was like, "Much worse." I said, "Oh, snap!" She walks up to the lady. She was like, "Unh-uh! Unh-uh!" "I'm from Brooklyn. "I'm from do-or-die Bed-Stuy Brooklyn. You took my spot. I don't play that." The lady was like, "So? I'm from Oakland." My mom said, "Y'all get in the car." I said, "Wait a minute, Mama!" You supposed to fight her! Don't be a punk!" She said, "Baby, I'm not a punk. I'm a survivor. That's what the hell I am." You don't mess with people from Oakland, folks. You just don't do it. Even in the Rise of the Planet of the Apes, you notice they went over that Golden Gate Bridge, but they did not mess with the Bay one? Did you notice that? 'Cause there would have been far more dangerous creatures on the other side, just waiting for 'em like, "Hold on, bruh. "Hey, yo, who these Flavor Flav-looking niggas, bruh... "coming over here with these ashy knuckles, nigga? Who the fuck are these peop--" The movie wouldn't have been called Rise of the Planet of the Apes. It would have been called The Apes Died in Oakland. There would have been no sequel. Don't do it. Apes were gangster, man. You ever had a gangster situation just happen to you? Like you, right here. She's like, "No." "I was at the HM the other day, "and I switched the $4.95 tag "with the $12.95. And I got away with it." I had a gangster situation happen to me where I had to be gangster in the situation. You just had to be. Sometimes you just gotta, you know, buck up and do what you gotta do. I was trying to get a cab in February. The cabdriver saw me, looked at me, and then sped the hell off. But he got caught at the red light that was right in front of me. So I was like, "Oh, snap!" So you know what I did? I went Denzel Washington Training Day on his ass right there. I was like... "Okay, all right." "Yeah, my nigga, my nigga." "Yeah, so you're telling me "you were just gonna drive off, huh? "That's what you're saying, right, huh? "You were just gonna drive-- "That's what you saying. Huh? "You were just gonna drive off, huh? "It's negative 20 degrees out here. "My fingers are about to fall off my hand, "but you was about to drive the fuck off. "That's what you telling me, right? "Okay, well, let me tell you something, Abu. "That's right. I said it, Abu. "You just live here. I run shit here! King Kong ain't got shit on me!" He just ran the light. He ain't want nothing to do with it. He was in his car like, "That negro's crazy. Something is wrong." Telling you, man. Fucking gangster women, man, I like you. You freak--oh, my God. So much power in a woman. You know where you can find it exactly though? Legs. I'm a leg man. Any other leg men in here? So what the rest of y'all? Titty fuckers? I'm a leg--there's nothing sexier than a woman with a nice pair of legs, you know what I'm saying? Just walking out just nice and just... Put some thigh-high stockings on. Oh, my God! That shit is sexy. Women, if you don't got a pair of thigh-high stockings, go get some, make your man hot like instant grits. I'm so serious. Matter of fact, if you don't got some right now, I want you to go home, order it from Victoria Secret, and send me the picture. Make sure it ain't Snapchat, 'cause I'll get pissed off. That's all I'm saying. But stockings, boy, it's so sexy. But women, let me talk to you, okay? If you got a fat leg... please do not take a fishnet stocking and put it on the fat leg. Now you got little fat pieces popping out the fishnet, and it look like Bubble Wrap. Now, me being the type of person I am, I'm trying to pop this shit. "What the hell?" Jump on it. That shit-- That was a long-ass leg. Ain't know where the hell I was going with that. That's just a long-ass, Wendy Williams-sized leg. Damn! It was big-- You ain't been here the whole show? You talking about some, "Damn." I've said some fucked-up shit. My God, man. Jump on it. That shit remind me of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air... when Will Smith and Carlton got in that--all right. I love Fresh Prince. That's my show. But y'all, I'll be honest with you. Will Smith does not think I sound like him. Nope. First time I met him, it was weird. He was like... "Yo, Jay, I don't think you can sound like me." And I was like... "Yo, Will, stop playing." He was like, "Yeah, that's good. "Check it out. Whoo! Miami." He made some good music, man, you know? No, but I was raised mostly on, like, Biggie Smalls and Tupac. That's what I like listening to. Biggie Smalls is just cool. Just cool. ¶ First of all I Poppa. ¶ Freaks all the honies, dummies ¶ ¶ Playboy bunnies, those wanting money ¶ "Oh! Oh! Oh! "I should have never put that steak "in that chocolate fountain at Golden Corral, man. I never should have done that, man." Tupac was just powerful. He was like Mufasa. He said something, you just listened to him. You could put him-- If he was alive today, I would love to see him go in, like, a Chipotle or something, and get to the end, like, when he's getting his food and shit. He's getting his food... "Why do you keep telling me that guac is $2? "I know that. You said it. "It says it right there on the menu. You acting like I can't read." ¶ Come with me. ¶ Hail Mary, run quick see ¶ ¶ What do you have here now. You! You--you was mouthing it. White girl, stand up, come here. Come here. On behalf of the Black community, I adopt you. Listen. The next time you fill out a census report, you better put "Black of Non-Hispanic origin." Do you hear me? White folks, we're taking her. - What's your name? - Karen. What? That's how you know a joke works, motherfucker. Oh, we're taking Karen. And, uh, we're leaving y'all with Nick Cannon. So enjoy that shit. I'm Jay Pharoah. That's my time. Thank y'all so much. ¶ Big track up 'cause I'm about to go, cool ¶ Yeah, man! ¶ I gotta get this together. ¶ But my wild side was like whatever ¶ ¶ My mom said, Jay, I'm worried ¶ Let me just--hey, you wanna give me some love. Give me some. Give me some love. Give me some. Give me some elbow, God dang it. Get you some elbow. ¶ I got a question, what you do better ¶ He was like, "Throw them bones. Throw them bones." ¶ I just lied to the big man I spoke to ¶ ¶ I gotta get this together. ¶ But my wild side was like whatever ¶ ¶ My mom said, Jay, I'm worried ¶ ¶ Baby, you need to get your life together ¶ ¶ Well, Mama, do you know the pressure ¶ ¶ Of life's pleasures when them nuts sweat you ¶ ¶ When you play a dark room The sun rises on Japan. More than 6,000 islands on the edge of the Pacific. Life here is at the mercy of Earth's most powerful elemental forces. From the wilds of the frozen north... ..to the subtropical warmth of the south... ..animals along this chain of islands have had to adapt in unique and sometimes bizarre ways. Throughout this land, people have developed an extraordinary relationship with the natural world... ..trying to capture its fleeting beauty... ..and tame its spirit. But these islands remain wild, mysterious and magical. This... is Japan. Japan's great chain of islands stretches for 2,000 miles. Right in the middle is its biggest island... ..Honshu. Here is one of the largest urban areas on Earth. But this is a wild place too. From the volcanic mountains to the edge of the sea, people and nature are drawn together in the most extraordinary ways. Tokyo. Home to over 35 million people. It's so densely packed, it's hard to imagine there's any room left for nature. But as the sun rises on a spring morning, something magical is about to happen. In the heart of the city, thousands of cherry trees are bursting into blossom. For just a few fleeting days, everyone celebrates. No other event in Honshu is more welcomed. This natural event is so important, it makes front-page news. Every spring, across Japan, people follow the sakura zensen - the cherry forecast - eager to see the blossom at its very best. The magic is all too brief. The petals start to fall almost as soon as they appear. Even in this most urban place, people still yearn for a connection with nature. But Honshu's cities are crowded for a reason. Three-quarters of this island is mountainous, where fewer people can live. Over 20 of these peaks are more than 3,000 metres high, pushed up by violent upheavals in the Earth's crust. This is no place for humans. The Hida Mountains are instead home to Honshu's wildest creatures. A black bear. And this one's hungry. He'll spend eight hours a day flipping rocks, looking for ants. It might not seem much to keep a bear going. He's not on his own up here. A Japanese macaque is also looking for a meal. But for these dextrous monkeys there are alternatives. These miniature trees, pruned by the elements, are covered in pine nuts. Full of fat and easy to reach. But despite these rich pickings, Honshu's macaques have learned that there are even easier ways to make a living. But to reach it, they have to venture off the mountain peaks... ..and that will bring them into contact with people. No matter how wild it seems, there's nowhere in Honshu where the paths of people and animals don't cross. This crowd of macaques is on a mission, all heading down the mountain to the same place. In among the rocks, there's a pool heated by volcanic springs. The temperature of a warm bath, it's just the thing in the chilly mountain air. This was once a spa for the exclusive use of humans. Back in the '60s, one young macaque discovered the hot tub, and liked the warmth. News spread, and now they've claimed it as their own. It's so popular, there can be hundreds of macaques here every day. And thousands of adoring tourists venture into the mountains to see them. These are some of the most photographed animals on Earth. But they are not just here for a bath. They're onto a very good thing. Each macaque has its favourite way of retrieving the treats. You can try holding your breath and stuffing as much into your mouth as you can. But if you don't like getting your hair wet, there's a daintier technique. One for the more refined. At the end of the day, when the tourists have gone home, they make their way back to the mountain forest. But this is still a wild place, full of dangers for a young macaque. It's no place for a swimming lesson. There are no gentle streams here. Water tumbles off these mountains at four tonnes a second. The Shomyo Falls are Japan's highest. The water cascades over 300 metres - taller than the Eiffel Tower. Despite falling so far, the water doesn't roar, it murmurs. People say it sounds like the chanting of prayers. It may be a wild journey down the mountains but this raging water is about to be tamed. As it reaches the foothills, the torrents are gradually controlled and channelled. With so much pure water on tap, people can grow Japan's most important crop. These are Honshu's traditional rice paddies. Flat land is scarce, so these fields have been painstakingly carved out of the foothills and water guided in. These man-made marshlands, perched on the edge of the mountains, are a magnet for wildlife. At the start of summer, as soon as the rice is planted, mysterious white globes start to appear in the trees around the paddy fields. The paddy fields can be a dangerous place to raise your young. Hungry mouths are everywhere. So some mothers have taken to the trees to give their babies a fighting chance of survival. The white globes are being made by these Japanese tree frogs. It's the breeding season and the trees are teeming with frogs. The female is with a male at the tip of a branch, perched above the paddy pool. She's building a nest by whipping up a giant ball of foam with her back legs. She lays hundreds of eggs inside. She's attracting the attention of other males. Each male could still fertilise some of the remaining eggs in the foam. They're coming in from all directions. But the foam makes it hard to get to grips with the competition. Things quickly descend into an undignified wrestling match. This male's work is done here. It's time to move on and find other nests. But when you're covered in slippery foam, it's hard to leave with dignity. It's an unusual problem for a tree frog. As the days pass, the eggs develop in the safety of their foam nest. The temperature rises with the summer sun, and the foam ball dries to form a protective case. The tadpoles inside are still moist, and six degrees cooler. But the little tadpoles need rain. At this time of year, warm air is rising over the steep Honshu mountains and clouds are starting to build. The tree frogs have timed their nest-building perfectly. After 20 days, conditions are just right and the waiting is over. The hard foam starts to dissolve and the tadpoles drop out, straight into the nursery pool of the rice paddy below. They feast on the remaining pieces of the nest - a final meal before they take their chances in the big, wide world. Their mother has pulled off a remarkable feat of planning. Over a third of Japan's fresh water goes to its paddles. Everyone relies on this precious resource and there are some uniquely Japanese ways of keeping it pure. The little village of Harie has a network of interconnecting canals. But these are not just any streams, they're part of an ancient system called kabata. The water is piped into small buildings close to each house. This is where Mrs Fukuda prepares her vegetables and does her washing up. All this waste should make the water dirty but it's not. It stays sparklingly clear. That's because Mrs Fukuda has an unusual band of kitchen helpers. Giant carp. As she washes her food and plates, the carp move in. Carp are natural ground feeders, sucking up the crumbs that sink to the bottom. As Mrs Fukuda rinses out her rice bowls, the carp pick out the bits of food and clean the water at the same time. No detergents, no waste, just some very obliging, well-fed fish. The same water is now piped out of the kitchen and on to the crops, clean and clear, for the benefit of everyone on the lowlands. They call this place 'the village of living water'. And around the edges of these waterways, on summer nights, something enchanting happens. As darkness falls, the air is filled with tiny lights. Fireflies. They can only thrive if their watery world is pristine. They've spent most of their brief lives as larvae, living in river beds. But for just a few weeks in summer, they emerge as adults to find partners. The female flashes her abdomen to attract attention. Soon, she's surrounded by eager males, all synchronising their flashes with hers. People call this dancing swarm a firefly contest. They've caught the imagination of countless generations. People once thought they were the fire of human souls, floating in the night. The female has found her mate. It will be a brief relationship. In a few weeks, they'll all be gone. But the pure water has created a magical, fleeting encounter between people and wildlife. There's a strong spiritual connection with nature in these mountain heartlands. Over half of Honshu is still thickly forested... ..and people believe the oldest trees are inhabited by kodama - tree-spirits. The forests echo with their voices. It's bad luck, so they say, to cut down a tree where a kodama lives. But there's another elusive creature in these ancient forests that was once hunted almost to extinction. People call it the cow demon or the phantom. It's a Japanese serow. This relative of antelopes and goats is unique to Japan. It's a strange, stocky creature, but it has a certain quirky charisma. When numbers fell dangerously low, the Japanese government banned hunting. The serow was saved and it's become an unlikely national icon. But it's a hard one to get to know. At the slightest hint of danger, it will vanish into the forest... ..like a ninja. These are still wild woods. But as you leave the foothills, the land flattens and it becomes easier for people to settle. It's when animals leave the forest edge and move into farmland that the relationship with humans becomes less benevolent. The macaques of the lower forests are as bold as their mountain cousins and often venture out in search of new opportunities. There are all sorts of perils, but there are rewards too, if you're willing to take some risks. For over 100 years, people have been growing the finest fruit and vegetables on these warm, rich soils. For these cheeky thieves, it's irresistible. Growing perfect produce is a Japanese obsession so the last thing people want is marauding macaques. As the day heats up, the farmers take a break. The coast is clear. They have to be cautious. If they're spotted, there'll be trouble. But every day they brave the electric fences. They know all the weak spots where they can stage their raids. And they gorge themselves on the fruit of the farmers' labours. They are almost impossible to stop but the farmers are not prepared to give in. They bring out their secret weapon. Specially-trained monkey dogs. The Japanese Shiba Inu is one of the world's oldest breeds and people have trained them to protect their crops against monkeys. There's even a Japanese saying that when people are fighting, they're like a dog and a monkey. But the rewards outweigh the risks. They'll be back again tomorrow. But fruit farmers aren't the only ones having to outwit hungry visitors. Mr Nakayama has been keeping honeybees for more than 65 years and these sunny forest clearings are perfect for his hives. But every year, Mr Nakayama's hives come under attack. Whatever it is seems to be unfazed by a swarm of angry bees. Mr Nakayama has put an electric fence around his precious hives but even this doesn't seem to be keeping the culprit out. So he's called in some experts and they've set up an elaborate trap laden with honey. All they can do now is wait. And it doesn't take long. Within just a few hours, news comes in that the trap's been tripped. Professor Izumiyama and his team are here to help. Although it's wise to tranquillise it first. It's a young black bear. He's strayed dangerously close to the edge of human habitation, looking for something to eat. Black bears have attacked people in the past so, for everyone's sake, he can't stay here. There's just enough room for the bear in the boot. He needs to be returned to the safety of the mountain but it's a one-hour drive. The bear could awake at any time. And there's no cage! In this rural area, bear expert Professor Izumiyama is used to taking this chance. They need to take the bear as deep into the mountain wilderness as possible. This is the most anxious time for the professor. Thanks to Professor Izumiyama, this lucky bear is back in the safety of the forest and out of harm's way. All across Honshu, big towns have grown up along the forest edges. Some are more than 1,000 years old. Here, links with nature are rooted in the most ancient beliefs. These sika deer live in the hills around Nara, one of the oldest towns in Japan. But, every morning, they leave the safety of the forest and head straight into town. Their destination is one of the most sacred places in Japan. The temple is the world's largest wooden building. Large enough to house a 15-metre statue of Buddha. It's visited by thousands of pilgrims. The deer are allowed in because they're believed to be messengers of the gods. No-one is allowed to harm them. Legend has it that a god arrived at the shrine of Nara riding on the back of a deer. 1,200 years later, the deer are still regarded as sacred. They've become local celebrities. And they take full advantage of the situation. 150 yen buys you a bag of deer biscuits. For many people visiting the temple, this may be as close to wildlife as they will ever get. But the relationship clearly needs some finessing. Some of the deer take unfair advantage of their sacred status. As with all things in Japan, courtesy and respect goes a long way. A simple bow is quickly rewarded and everyone is happy. When they've had enough biscuits, the Nara deer head back to their home in the forest. But as you travel further from these mountain fringes, the landscape of Honshu is swallowed up in an urban sprawl. Every inch of the remaining flat land to the coast has been taken over by people. Over 35 million people are crammed into an area smaller than Yorkshire. In this concrete landscape, it would seem unlikely that any wildlife could survive. But one animal has made the city its home and it has a strangely charmed reputation. People even put fat little statues of it outside bars and restaurants. It's naughty, but it's also believed to bring good luck. Tanuki - the raccoon dog. It's a creature of the forest but, as buildings have replaced trees, it's been forced to adapt. These little creatures will eat almost anything. There's an opportunity at every turn. Tanuki make mischievous neighbours. But people think they're lucky, so they get away with it. They're so comfortable with urban life, they never leave. This mum is raising her brood next to a busy railway line, which could be lethal for cubs newly out of the den, but they grow up fast and quickly become streetwise. Maybe they deserve that lucky reputation. All across this crowded island, people and nature are thrown closer together. In Japan's ancient Buddhist and Shinto philosophy, harmony with nature is an essential part of life. Mr Watanabe is hard at work. The space he is tending is called karesansui - dry mountain and water. Mr Watanabe has transformed Honshu's great mountains and raging torrents into something beautifully simple. It's nature in its purest essence, for people to observe and reflect on. But this is a land where the forces of nature are impossible to tame. Honshu sits at the mercy of four slabs of the earth's crust. Every year, there are nearly 5,000 earthquakes and tremors. The rocks steam and hiss with sulphurous gases. It's no wonder the Japanese call these areas Jigokudani - Hell Valley. No-one is far from an active volcano. Mount Fuji is just 60 miles from Tokyo. This volatile landscape continues all the way to the coast. These cliffs at Sanriku were pushed 200 metres above the sea by violent upheavals under the ocean floor. This eastern coastline is regularly battered by tsunamis. On the west coast of Honshu, geological forces have formed a vast trench that runs just offshore. But here, this extreme landscape creates a rare moment of magic. An underwater valley, nearly 2,000 metres deep, runs close to shore. The local fishermen are so in tune with nature, they know exactly when conditions are right to cast their nets above the deep valley. Something is stirring far below the boats. These are firefly squid. They spend most of their lives 300 metres down in the ocean depths, signalling to each other in the darkness using bioluminescent chemicals in their skin. But on spring nights, the currents carry them up to the shallows, where they mate and spawn. As the eggs float back to the depths, the squid's lifecycle comes to its natural end. The fishermen have waited months for this brief event. The squid are barely eight centimetres long but there are millions of them. It's a valuable catch of sushi. As the fishermen haul in their nets, they may see something even rarer. For just a few nights of the year, if the moon, the tide and the wind are aligned, the dying firefly squid are swept ashore. It's the last, dazzling moment of their lives. Between the turbulent sea and the inhospitable mountains, there may be little room left to live, but nature is still appreciated by millions of people. Late at night in Tokyo, the cherry blossom celebrations are ending with a great party. Hanami, or blossom-viewing parties, have been held here for more than 1,000 years. People gather under the trees to eat traditional food, helped along with some sake. But there's a poignancy to all this revelry. Cherry blossom only appears for a brief moment in spring. Within just a few days, it will all have fallen. The delicacy of the flowers captures a particularly Japanese sentiment... ..the spirit of "mono no aware". It's a wistful understanding of the transience of life. All this will come to an end and it must be appreciated in the moment. It perfectly captures the Japanese connection to the natural world. In such a crowded island, people and nature must find ways to live together. But all across Honshu, there's an ancient bond with the natural world that still runs deep. There aren't many places in the world where the lives of people and animals cross so closely as on Honshu. Here, there are two animals that can cause havoc. Japanese macaques and black bears. This is a front line, where these two animals are always in conflict with people, so that makes it a challenging story to tell. OK and go ahead. Cameraman John Brown has filmed these interactions before and knows how tricky they are. OK, I think probably this end, I would say. But the team are working with some extraordinary and passionate people. OK. I think we should... Professor Shigeyuki Izumiyama is a bear biologist and he knows this area very well. He's spent the last 25 years rescuing and relocating black bears that have strayed too close to human habitation. Professor Izumiyama is an incredible individual. He's a brilliant biologist that really understands his animals. He's the only individual, as far as I know, who's trying to tackle this problem. The film crew are keen to film him catching a bear. As soon as the next trap is sprung, he'll give them a call. Meanwhile, the team are trying to film the other problem animal - the macaques that raid the farmlands. Filming macaques crop-raiding is a huge challenge because they see any human presence as a major threat, so they'll run as soon as they sense that they have been noticed. So I guess the important thing is to kind of get a sense of which direction they're going, if they're coming down... They are being helped by scientist Takayo Soma. She grew up round here, so she knows the situation very well. Finding macaques is easy, but the team want to film their crop-raiding behaviour. That's not so straightforward. The farmers are keen to move the macaques on and they use firecrackers and dogs to scare them away. The macaques cause £5 million worth of damage every year, so it's understandable. It's such a big issue, there's even a monkey policeman on patrol. I think he's following us now. I think he knows we're onto something. The crew just need a bit of time to film, so Takayo goes to negotiate. She has a trick up her sleeve. You bribed him with an Oreo? You gave him some biscuits? He gave you a biscuit? I had biscuit. That's genius. How many bites? He just took one bite. Two bites. Two bites? ! That's a brilliant bit of work. Wow, he's got a pretty low price. But just as the coast is clear, director Gavin Maxwell gets a call from Professor Izumiyama. The previous night, up in the forest, a bear wandered into one of the traps. The bear was caught last night and we're going as fast as we can to get to this site now. It's about 45 minutes away. So we're in a bit of a race to get there in time. Big bear in there. As well as relocating bears, Professor Izumiyama also studies them. By fitting radio collars to track them, he hopes to discover more about their movements. I'm not sure how much more time we've got. They have to work fast, before the drugs wear off. Hirokun. Hirokun. As Hirokun begins to stir, it's wise to take some precautions. Just John and Izumiyama-san we'll leave here. So we should retreat to the inside of the car? Yeah. Professor Izumiyama carries pepper spray just in case of attack. John knows how nervous local people can get. People get so scared and so angry about these bears that unless he did something, they'd just end up dead. A few hours of unpleasantness, which it will have forgotten by tomorrow, is well worth it. Another bear on its way, but now its movements can be tracked. Hunter. Yeah, that one. If, maybe in a weeks' time... Over 25 years, Professor Izumiyama has caught a lot of bears. More than 1,000. More than 1,000 bears. 1,000 bears and counting and there's no sign of stopping yet. As soon as one bear is released, it's straight on to another. Throughout the summer, he's on call 24/7. Despite being such a populated country, Honshu is home to over 10,000 bears... ..and what Professor Izumiyama is discovering is remarkable. These bears have huge territories. They can roam nearly 50 square miles in search of food. All this effort will help to keep bears away from people so that both stay safe. The next day, the team are back on the plains, still trying to catch the macaques staging a crop-raid. We haven't seen anything. Anything interesting? No. But with Takayo's expert help, they are learning to predict the macaques' movements. You might spot a macaque or two who are, kind of, looking a bit shifty and you kind of get the sense that something's going to happen. And then, at last, they are in the right place at the right time for a raid. Is that an apple in his hand? Caught red-handed. In a place with such close proximity between people and animals, the relationship is always going to be challenging. But Professor Izumiyama has seen a big change in attitudes since he first started working with bears. Next time, we head to Japan's far south. This is a land ruled by the power of the sea. Here, you have to make the most of every opportunity. And the further south you travel, the stranger life becomes. Here'sa challenge. I want you to believe what I'm about to tell you. I want you to believe what I'm about to tell you. Not just hear it, not just what I'm about to tell you. Not just hear it, not just understand it, but believe it. Not just hear it, not just understand it, but believe it. It's a fact that you already understand it, but believe it. It's a fact that you already know to be true, It's a fact that you already know to be true, but have never been able know to be true, but have never been able to fully accept. but have never been able to fully accept. And it's this: to fully accept. And it's this: You are going to die. And it's this: You are going to die. You, the person listening to me You are going to die. You, the person listening to me right now, are going to die. It's difficult even to imagine, isn't it? Take a moment and try to picture isn't it? Take a moment and try to picture what it's like to not exist. Take a moment and try to picture what it's like to not exist. You can't do it. what it's like to not exist. You can't do it. You're imagining darkness. You can't do it. You're imagining darkness. Black. You're imagining darkness. Black. But there will be no black. Black. But there will be no black. There will be no color, But there will be no black. There will be no color, because there will be no you There will be no color, because there will be no you to perceive it. because there will be no you to perceive it. And your mind recoils to perceive it. And your mind recoils from that idea. And your mind recoils from that idea. It's simply unable to conceive from that idea. It's simply unable to conceive of its own nonexistence, It's simply unable to conceive of its own nonexistence, and so it concludes of its own nonexistence, and so it concludes that it's impossible, and so it concludes that it's impossible, that you'll live forever. that it's impossible, that you'll live forever. But you won't. that you'll live forever. But you won't. All things end. But you won't. All things end. All motion slows. All things end. All motion slows. All heat becomes cold. All motion slows. All heat becomes cold. Life is an eddy in that current All heat becomes cold. Life is an eddy in that current of entropy, Life is an eddy in that current of entropy, a brief chemical reaction that of entropy, a brief chemical reaction that lights up the darkness and then, a brief chemical reaction that lights up the darkness and then, its fuel spent, dissipates back lights up the darkness and then, its fuel spent, dissipates back to nothing, just like you will. its fuel spent, dissipates back to nothing, just like you will. Your body is a marvelous and to nothing, just like you will. Your body is a marvelous and intricate machine built out Your body is a marvelous and intricate machine built out of millions of interconnected intricate machine built out of millions of interconnected fragile systems, of millions of interconnected fragile systems, and as you age, each begins fragile systems, and as you age, each begins to slowly, but surely, and as you age, each begins to slowly, but surely, deteriorate and break down. to slowly, but surely, deteriorate and break down. When one fails, a doctor may be deteriorate and break down. When one fails, a doctor may be able to repair it, but at some When one fails, a doctor may be able to repair it, but at some point, there will be too many able to repair it, but at some point, there will be too many interlocking failures to point, there will be too many interlocking failures to proceed, and like a cascade of interlocking failures to proceed, and like a cascade of dominos, your joints, proceed, and like a cascade of dominos, your joints, your eyes, your heart, dominos, your joints, your eyes, your heart, your lungs, your memory, your eyes, your heart, your lungs, your memory, your entire body will fail. your lungs, your memory, your entire body will fail. It will happen. your entire body will fail. It will happen. And while it's difficult to hear It will happen. And while it's difficult to hear this truth, it is essential that And while it's difficult to hear this truth, it is essential that you accept it, this truth, it is essential that you accept it, because every second that goes you accept it, because every second that goes by in which you don't is a because every second that goes by in which you don't is a second of your precious by in which you don't is a second of your precious and finite life second of your precious and finite life that you risk wasting. and finite life that you risk wasting. So I'm going to say it once that you risk wasting. So I'm going to say it once more, and this time, try as hard So I'm going to say it once more, and this time, try as hard as you can to believe me. more, and this time, try as hard as you can to believe me. You, yes, you, will die, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. How's that? you can do to stop it. How's that? Whatthe(bleep)? How's that? Whatthe(bleep)? Toomuch? Whatthe(bleep)? Toomuch? Yeah,that'salot Toomuch? Yeah,that'salot for a first date. Yeah,that'salot for a first date. Yeah,maybeIshouldn't for a first date. Yeah,maybeIshouldn't open with it. Yeah,maybeIshouldn't open with it. Also,what'swith open with it. Also,what'swith the hourglass? Also,what'swith the hourglass? Do you just carry that thing the hourglass? Do you just carry that thing around for dramatic effect? Do you just carry that thing around for dramatic effect? Yeah. around for dramatic effect? Yeah. And I use it to boil eggs. Yeah. And I use it to boil eggs. A little heavy-handed, I know. And I use it to boil eggs. A little heavy-handed, I know. Oh,she'shere. A little heavy-handed, I know. Oh,she'shere. So I think that Haylie might Oh,she'shere. So I think that Haylie might actually maybe for some reason So I think that Haylie might actually maybe for some reason like you, so ix-nay actually maybe for some reason like you, so ix-nay on the death stuff. like you, so ix-nay on the death stuff. Just ask her if she's, like, on the death stuff. Just ask her if she's, like, a cat person or a dog person. Just ask her if she's, like, a cat person or a dog person. I'ma turtleperson. a cat person or a dog person. I'ma turtleperson. Justkeepit light. I'ma turtleperson. Justkeepit light. You know, tell the truth. Justkeepit light. You know, tell the truth. Theawfultruth! You know, tell the truth. Theawfultruth! Ugh,no. No . Theawfultruth! Ugh,no. No . Just- - Don't be yourself. Ugh,no. No . Just- - Don't be yourself. Literally be anyone else Just- - Don't be yourself. Literally be anyone else but yourself. Literally be anyone else but yourself. Icando that. but yourself. Icando that. Goodluck. Icando that. Goodluck. Smile. Hi. Thereyouare. SorryI 'mlate. Thereyouare. SorryI 'mlate. I hate when people are late. SorryI 'mlate. I hate when people are late. Metoo. I hate when people are late. Metoo. I was the first to arrive at Metoo. I was the first to arrive at both parties I've attended. I was the first to arrive at both parties I've attended. Yeah, yeah, yeah. both parties I've attended. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny. Joke. Ican'tbelieveI'm saying this, but I think they might actually-- Holycrow. Well, I did tell her. Captions provided by truTV I'mafraidwe don'tknow if Emily will ever come out of this coma. if Emily will ever come out of this coma. I'm sorry. Oh,myGod. Am I gonna die? Oh,ofcourse, Am I gonna die? Oh,ofcourse, we all will, one day. Oh,ofcourse, we all will, one day. EvenwhenI'mina coma , we all will, one day. EvenwhenI'mina coma , I can't escape you. EvenwhenI'mina coma , I can't escape you. I mean right now. I can't escape you. I mean right now. Honestly,I don'tknow. I mean right now. Honestly,I don'tknow. You... Honestly,I don'tknow. You... But I have so much I want to do. You... But I have so much I want to do. I'm getting married in three But I have so much I want to do. I'm getting married in three months and I want to raise I'm getting married in three months and I want to raise a family, and one day, I really months and I want to raise a family, and one day, I really want to meet UFC Bantamweight a family, and one day, I really want to meet UFC Bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey. want to meet UFC Bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey. I don't wanna die! champion Ronda Rousey. I don't wanna die! Butyouwill. I don't wanna die! Butyouwill. Death is inevitable, Butyouwill. Death is inevitable, and it's vitally important Death is inevitable, and it's vitally important that you accept that. and it's vitally important that you accept that. No,mm-mm. that you accept that. No,mm-mm. Not me, not this girl. No,mm-mm. Not me, not this girl. I'm gonna wake up from this coma Not me, not this girl. I'm gonna wake up from this coma and go back to my life, and then I'm gonna wake up from this coma and go back to my life, and then by the time I'm old, and go back to my life, and then by the time I'm old, we'll have cured death by the time I'm old, we'll have cured death and people will be immortal! we'll have cured death and people will be immortal! Google's working on it. and people will be immortal! Google's working on it. Thatisacompletefantasy. Google's working on it. Thatisacompletefantasy. People have been trying to cure Thatisacompletefantasy. People have been trying to cure death for millennia, People have been trying to cure death for millennia, and it's never worked. In 210 B.C., the first emperor of China dosed himself with what he thought were of China dosed himself with what he thought were "immortality pills." he thought were "immortality pills." Theyweremercurypills. "immortality pills." Theyweremercurypills. I died real quick. Theyweremercurypills. I died real quick. Andintheninthcentury, I died real quick. Andintheninthcentury, an alchemist who was trying Andintheninthcentury, an alchemist who was trying to brew an "immortality" potion an alchemist who was trying to brew an "immortality" potion made a wee bit of an error. to brew an "immortality" potion made a wee bit of an error. Thisflammablepowderwill made a wee bit of an error. Thisflammablepowderwill save millions of lives. Thisflammablepowderwill save millions of lives. Heactuallyinvented save millions of lives. Heactuallyinvented gunpowder. Heactuallyinvented gunpowder. Thanks to his quest for eternal gunpowder. Thanks to his quest for eternal life, millions have been Thanks to his quest for eternal life, millions have been shot dead. life, millions have been shot dead. Well,we'rewaycloser shot dead. Well,we'rewaycloser to immortality now. Well,we'rewaycloser to immortality now. What about chryonics? to immortality now. What about chryonics? I can freeze my body so it can What about chryonics? I can freeze my body so it can be revived later. I can freeze my body so it can be revived later. That'smedicallydoubtful, be revived later. That'smedicallydoubtful, and it assumes that the company That'smedicallydoubtful, and it assumes that the company that freezes you is gonna be and it assumes that the company that freezes you is gonna be around that long. that freezes you is gonna be around that long. In one famous case, the around that long. In one famous case, the Chryonics Society of California In one famous case, the Chryonics Society of California ran out of money and couldn't Chryonics Society of California ran out of money and couldn't keep their customers frozen. ran out of money and couldn't keep their customers frozen. No... keep their customers frozen. No... Thebodiesbegantothaw No... Thebodiesbegantothaw and decompose. Thebodiesbegantothaw and decompose. No,no,no . and decompose. No,no,no . Thensomeof thebodieswent No,no,no . Thensomeof thebodieswent missing, and to this day, their Thensomeof thebodieswent missing, and to this day, their families still don't know missing, and to this day, their families still don't know where they went. families still don't know where they went. No,no,no ,no ,no ! where they went. No,no,no ,no ,no ! Uh,hey,Pete,dowestill No,no,no ,no ,no ! Uh,hey,Pete,dowestill have that extra large Uh,hey,Pete,dowestill have that extra large beer cooler? Okay,well,Ifollowabunch of futurists on Twitter. I have a very eclectic feed. of futurists on Twitter. I have a very eclectic feed. And they believe that one day, I have a very eclectic feed. And they believe that one day, we'll be able to upload our And they believe that one day, we'll be able to upload our brains onto computers. we'll be able to upload our brains onto computers. That'sridiculous. First of all, your brain is a physical organ. That's like saying you could is a physical organ. That's like saying you could upload your liver That's like saying you could upload your liver onto a computer. upload your liver onto a computer. And secondly, even if you could, onto a computer. And secondly, even if you could, your consciousness wouldn't And secondly, even if you could, your consciousness wouldn't teleport onto the computer. your consciousness wouldn't teleport onto the computer. You just have created a pretty teleport onto the computer. You just have created a pretty accurate A.I. You just have created a pretty accurate A.I. simulation of yourself. accurate A.I. simulation of yourself. Ah,eternallife. simulation of yourself. Ah,eternallife. Ah,eternallife. Ah,eternallife. Ah,eternallife. Wait. Ah,eternallife. Wait. I'm--I'm still dying. Wait. I'm--I'm still dying. I'm still here. I'm--I'm still dying. I'm still here. Itdoesn'tworkthatway. I'm still here. Itdoesn'tworkthatway. I'm basically Siri. Itdoesn'tworkthatway. I'm basically Siri. Thispieceof crap! I'm basically Siri. Thispieceof crap! We'veneverbeenabletostop Thispieceof crap! We'veneverbeenabletostop death, and we never will. Okay,fine. You win, I will die, one day. But... You win, I will die, one day. But... Why does it have to be today? I'msorry. Let me try to cheer you up. You know, I always go shopping Let me try to cheer you up. You know, I always go shopping when I'm down. You know, I always go shopping when I'm down. Iguessthatsounds when I'm down. Iguessthatsounds like a good distraction. Iguessthatsounds like a good distraction. Shoppingforcaskets. like a good distraction. Shoppingforcaskets. Thiswouldneverhappen Shoppingforcaskets. Thiswouldneverhappen to Ronda Rousey. Whatdoyouthink his last words were? Probably" whoops,"or"ouch." his last words were? Probably" whoops,"or"ouch." The concept of "last words" is Probably" whoops,"or"ouch." The concept of "last words" is as silly as the rest of this. The concept of "last words" is as silly as the rest of this. Wait,areyoutrying as silly as the rest of this. Wait,areyoutrying to ruin funerals? Wait,areyoutrying to ruin funerals? This is how people grieve. to ruin funerals? This is how people grieve. Yeah. This is how people grieve. Yeah. Which is why it's so tragic that Yeah. Which is why it's so tragic that the American funeral industry Which is why it's so tragic that the American funeral industry needlessly exploits the American funeral industry needlessly exploits that grief for profit. needlessly exploits that grief for profit. Case in point, the expensive and that grief for profit. Case in point, the expensive and useless process of embalming, Case in point, the expensive and useless process of embalming, which was popularized useless process of embalming, which was popularized during the Civil War. which was popularized during the Civil War. After Lincoln was assassinated, during the Civil War. After Lincoln was assassinated, the government paraded his After Lincoln was assassinated, the government paraded his corpse around the country in the government paraded his corpse around the country in order to showcase the hero's corpse around the country in order to showcase the hero's sacrifice, but that's not what order to showcase the hero's sacrifice, but that's not what the people took away from it. sacrifice, but that's not what the people took away from it. Oh,mygosh,Abe has been the people took away from it. Oh,mygosh,Abe has been dead for weeks and he still Oh,mygosh,Abe has been dead for weeks and he still looks fly as hell. dead for weeks and he still looks fly as hell. Honestly,anyonewhois looks fly as hell. Honestly,anyonewhois anyone gets pumped Honestly,anyonewhois anyone gets pumped full of chemicals. anyone gets pumped full of chemicals. Butforthoseofuswhose full of chemicals. Butforthoseofuswhose bodies aren't going on tour, Butforthoseofuswhose bodies aren't going on tour, embalming is totally pointless. bodies aren't going on tour, embalming is totally pointless. Why would you need to be embalming is totally pointless. Why would you need to be preserved right before they Why would you need to be preserved right before they bury you in the dirt? preserved right before they bury you in the dirt? Isn't the whole point bury you in the dirt? Isn't the whole point to decompose? Isn't the whole point to decompose? Excuseme. to decompose? Excuseme. Embalming gives dignity Excuseme. Embalming gives dignity to the deceased. Embalming gives dignity to the deceased. Yes,it'srespectful. to the deceased. Yes,it'srespectful. Respectful? Yes,it'srespectful. Respectful? What do you think embalming is? Respectful? What do you think embalming is? It'slikeaspa day . What do you think embalming is? It'slikeaspa day . For a dead body. It'slikeaspa day . For a dead body. Exactly,don'tcorrecther . For a dead body. Exactly,don'tcorrecther . Embalmingistheleast Exactly,don'tcorrecther . Embalmingistheleast respectful thing you Embalmingistheleast respectful thing you could do to a body. respectful thing you could do to a body. First, the jaw is wired shut. could do to a body. First, the jaw is wired shut. The eyes are sealed with glue, First, the jaw is wired shut. The eyes are sealed with glue, then the internal organs are The eyes are sealed with glue, then the internal organs are punctured and drained through then the internal organs are punctured and drained through a hole in the abdomen. punctured and drained through a hole in the abdomen. After that, they pump the a hole in the abdomen. After that, they pump the arteries full of formaldehyde, After that, they pump the arteries full of formaldehyde, and stuff the internal cavities arteries full of formaldehyde, and stuff the internal cavities full of cotton. and stuff the internal cavities full of cotton. Okay,stop! full of cotton. Okay,stop! Enough, enough, enough. Okay,stop! Enough, enough, enough. I don't want to puke in front Enough, enough, enough. I don't want to puke in front of a dead body. I don't want to puke in front of a dead body. Fairenough. of a dead body. Fairenough. But the entire process is a Fairenough. But the entire process is a pointless waste of time, because But the entire process is a pointless waste of time, because even though funeral directors pointless waste of time, because even though funeral directors tell their vulnerable, even though funeral directors tell their vulnerable, grieving customers... tell their vulnerable, grieving customers... Embalmingisnecessaryifyou grieving customers... Embalmingisnecessaryifyou want an open casket. Embalmingisnecessaryifyou want an open casket. And... want an open casket. And... Itkeepsthebody And... Itkeepsthebody safe and sanitary. Itkeepsthebody safe and sanitary. Noneofit is true. safe and sanitary. Noneofit is true. Refrigeration is cheaper and Noneofit is true. Refrigeration is cheaper and just as effective as embalming. Refrigeration is cheaper and just as effective as embalming. The World Health Organization just as effective as embalming. The World Health Organization states that dead bodies pose The World Health Organization states that dead bodies pose nearly no health risks states that dead bodies pose nearly no health risks to the living. nearly no health risks to the living. It's completely safe to the living. It's completely safe to touch them. It's completely safe to touch them. Here, watch! to touch them. Here, watch! Adam! Here, watch! Adam! That's weird. Adam! That's weird. Yeah,butit 'sstillsafe, That's weird. Yeah,butit 'sstillsafe, which is ironic, because Yeah,butit 'sstillsafe, which is ironic, because formaldehyde isn't safe. which is ironic, because formaldehyde isn't safe. It's a carcinogen. formaldehyde isn't safe. It's a carcinogen. Whydowe stilldothis ? It's a carcinogen. Whydowe stilldothis ? Justonereason. Whydowe stilldothis ? Justonereason. These guys charge a graveload Justonereason. These guys charge a graveload of money to do it. These guys charge a graveload of money to do it. Let'snottalkabout of money to do it. Let'snottalkabout the bodies so much. Let'snottalkabout the bodies so much. Let's talk about how beautiful the bodies so much. Let's talk about how beautiful this casket is. Let's talk about how beautiful this casket is. Yeah,itbetterbebeautiful. this casket is. Yeah,itbetterbebeautiful. It's one of the most expensive Yeah,itbetterbebeautiful. It's one of the most expensive things you'll ever buy. It's one of the most expensive things you'll ever buy. Funeral homes can charge upwards things you'll ever buy. Funeral homes can charge upwards of ten grand for a coffin. Funeral homes can charge upwards of ten grand for a coffin. Thelidis titaniumsteel, of ten grand for a coffin. Thelidis titaniumsteel, it's lined with mink fur and it Thelidis titaniumsteel, it's lined with mink fur and it comes with free WiFi. it's lined with mink fur and it comes with free WiFi. It's what Pop-Pop comes with free WiFi. It's what Pop-Pop would have wanted. It's what Pop-Pop would have wanted. Doyouhave would have wanted. Doyouhave any cheaper options? Doyouhave any cheaper options? Well,forthosewho don 't any cheaper options? Well,forthosewho don 't love their Pop-Pop, we do have Well,forthosewho don 't love their Pop-Pop, we do have this "My Loved One Deserved love their Pop-Pop, we do have this "My Loved One Deserved to Die" model. this "My Loved One Deserved to Die" model. You will need to decide quickly, to Die" model. You will need to decide quickly, the funeral is tomorrow. You will need to decide quickly, the funeral is tomorrow. Pop-Popwouldhave the funeral is tomorrow. Pop-Popwouldhave wanted the WiFi. Pop-Popwouldhave wanted the WiFi. I'msosorryfor yourloss . wanted the WiFi. I'msosorryfor yourloss . Hell,youmightaswell be I'msosorryfor yourloss . Hell,youmightaswell be buried with $10,000 in cash. Hell,youmightaswell be buried with $10,000 in cash. ♪Moneymoney♪ buried with $10,000 in cash. ♪Moneymoney♪ Well,it'snicetosupport ♪Moneymoney♪ Well,it'snicetosupport local businesses. Well,it'snicetosupport local businesses. Actually,a lotof "local" local businesses. Actually,a lotof "local" funeral homes are owned by a Actually,a lotof "local" funeral homes are owned by a mega corporation named SCI that funeral homes are owned by a mega corporation named SCI that buys up mom and pop shops, mega corporation named SCI that buys up mom and pop shops, but keeps the old name, buys up mom and pop shops, but keeps the old name, so no one notices. but keeps the old name, so no one notices. They really are a cash cow. so no one notices. They really are a cash cow. Theycan'tmake They really are a cash cow. Theycan'tmake that much money. Theycan'tmake that much money. Well,maybeyou'dbelieve that much money. Well,maybeyou'dbelieve SCI treasurer Aaron Foley, Well,maybeyou'dbelieve SCI treasurer Aaron Foley, who told investors, SCI treasurer Aaron Foley, who told investors, we really are a cash cow. who told investors, we really are a cash cow. ♪It'sallaboutthemoney ♪ we really are a cash cow. ♪It'sallaboutthemoney ♪ Butwhat'sthealternative? ♪It'sallaboutthemoney ♪ Butwhat'sthealternative? Throw all the dead people in a Butwhat'sthealternative? Throw all the dead people in a pile and leave them there and Throw all the dead people in a pile and leave them there and charge admission to see it? pile and leave them there and charge admission to see it? Notexactly. charge admission to see it? Notexactly. You could choose cremation, Notexactly. You could choose cremation, but another, maybe even better You could choose cremation, but another, maybe even better option, is natural burial. but another, maybe even better option, is natural burial. Ahh! option, is natural burial. Ahh! Who is this? Are we related? Ahh! Who is this? Are we related? Are you my ghost? Who is this? Are we related? Are you my ghost? No,Emily,thisis Are you my ghost? No,Emily,thisis Caitlin Doughty, she's a No,Emily,thisis Caitlin Doughty, she's a licensed mortician and an advocate for natural burial. Innaturalburial,wediga hole in the ground and place the body in in just a shroud, no chemical embalming, no heavy metal casket, no chemical embalming, no heavy metal casket, no concrete-lined vault. no heavy metal casket, no concrete-lined vault. Isthissafe? no concrete-lined vault. Isthissafe? It'scompletelysafe. Isthissafe? It'scompletelysafe. Humans have been burying their It'scompletelysafe. Humans have been burying their bodies like this for tens of Humans have been burying their bodies like this for tens of thousands of years. bodies like this for tens of thousands of years. But when the funeral thousands of years. But when the funeral industry started, But when the funeral industry started, it really took the power away industry started, it really took the power away from the grieving families. it really took the power away from the grieving families. I think that my job as from the grieving families. I think that my job as a mortician should just be to I think that my job as a mortician should just be to facilitate you taking the power a mortician should just be to facilitate you taking the power around the time of death. facilitate you taking the power around the time of death. You can be involved as much or around the time of death. You can be involved as much or as little as you want to be, You can be involved as much or as little as you want to be, but it can be a really intimate as little as you want to be, but it can be a really intimate and beautiful way to say goodbye but it can be a really intimate and beautiful way to say goodbye to someone you love. and beautiful way to say goodbye to someone you love. Thisisreallynice. to someone you love. Thisisreallynice. Thank you, Caitlin. Thisisreallynice. Thank you, Caitlin. You know, I think this Thank you, Caitlin. You know, I think this is what I want. You know, I think this is what I want. That'sgreat. is what I want. That'sgreat. But you won't get it. That'sgreat. But you won't get it. See? But you won't get it. See? Because you didn't confront your See? Because you didn't confront your mortality and decide how you'd Because you didn't confront your mortality and decide how you'd want to be buried while you were mortality and decide how you'd want to be buried while you were still alive, Murph will probably want to be buried while you were still alive, Murph will probably bankrupt himself getting you still alive, Murph will probably bankrupt himself getting you a regular funeral. bankrupt himself getting you a regular funeral. Aw,man. a regular funeral. Aw,man. Infact,becauseyou didn't Aw,man. Infact,becauseyou didn't plan ahead, everything about Infact,becauseyou didn't plan ahead, everything about your death will suck, and I'll plan ahead, everything about your death will suck, and I'll explain why right after this. your death will suck, and I'll explain why right after this. IknowI'mliterallydying, explain why right after this. IknowI'mliterallydying, but you are the worst IknowI'mliterallydying, but you are the worst part of my day. He'ssothoughtful. Death is so hard. Yeah,itis . Death is so hard. Yeah,itis . That's why it's so important Yeah,itis . That's why it's so important that you accept that one day, That's why it's so important that you accept that one day, you will grow old and die. that you accept that one day, you will grow old and die. If you don't, you will grow old and die. If you don't, you'll end up making terrible If you don't, you'll end up making terrible medical decisions. you'll end up making terrible medical decisions. Ithoughtyourshowwas medical decisions. Ithoughtyourshowwas supposed to be a comedy. Ithoughtyourshowwas supposed to be a comedy. Well,thelinebetweencomedy supposed to be a comedy. Well,thelinebetweencomedy and drama has blurred Well,thelinebetweencomedy and drama has blurred in recent decades. and drama has blurred in recent decades. You know, if you look at-- in recent decades. You know, if you look at-- Getonwithit. You know, if you look at-- Getonwithit. Right-o! Hey,Adam. I wondered when you guys were gonna show up. I wondered when you guys were gonna show up. Emily. this is Dr. Bud Hammes. He's the director of Respecting Choices for He's the director of Respecting Choices for Gundersen Health System. Basically, he helps doctors have end-of-life conversations with their patients. end-of-life conversations with their patients. I'mgladyouguysarehere. with their patients. I'mgladyouguysarehere. I have a story to tell you. I'mgladyouguysarehere. I have a story to tell you. Oh,thisis my favoritebook! I have a story to tell you. Oh,thisis my favoritebook! It's about how I get prostate Oh,thisis my favoritebook! It's about how I get prostate cancer and die. It's about how I get prostate cancer and die. You know, one in seven American cancer and die. You know, one in seven American men gets prostate cancer. You know, one in seven American men gets prostate cancer. Prostatecancer. men gets prostate cancer. Prostatecancer. I know, you tell me every time Prostatecancer. I know, you tell me every time we hang out. I know, you tell me every time we hang out. Did you write a book we hang out. Did you write a book about your own death? Did you write a book about your own death? Ithelpsmakethe point. about your own death? Ithelpsmakethe point. Would you read it to us, Bud? Ithelpsmakethe point. Would you read it to us, Bud? I'dbedelighted Would you read it to us, Bud? I'dbedelighted to read it to you. I'dbedelighted to read it to you. So here's the problem. to read it to you. So here's the problem. Patients and their doctors most So here's the problem. Patients and their doctors most often don't have conversations Patients and their doctors most often don't have conversations about when the burdens of often don't have conversations about when the burdens of treatment would be so high, about when the burdens of treatment would be so high, they wouldn't outweigh treatment would be so high, they wouldn't outweigh the benefits of treatment. they wouldn't outweigh the benefits of treatment. Ifyoucan'tfacehavingan the benefits of treatment. Ifyoucan'tfacehavingan honest conversation about death Ifyoucan'tfacehavingan honest conversation about death with your doctor, you can end up honest conversation about death with your doctor, you can end up chasing unnecessary treatments with your doctor, you can end up chasing unnecessary treatments that do very little to prolong chasing unnecessary treatments that do very little to prolong your life and just make your that do very little to prolong your life and just make your final days really uncomfortable. your life and just make your final days really uncomfortable. Mr.Conover, final days really uncomfortable. Mr.Conover, the cancer has spread. Mr.Conover, the cancer has spread. I think it's time we discuss-- the cancer has spread. I think it's time we discuss-- Idon'twanttohear it! I think it's time we discuss-- Idon'twanttohear it! I'm a fighter, damn it! Idon'twanttohear it! I'm a fighter, damn it! Give me every dangerous I'm a fighter, damn it! Give me every dangerous chemical you got! Give me every dangerous chemical you got! Where are the drugs? chemical you got! Where are the drugs? Give it to me! Where are the drugs? Give it to me! I'm gonna live forever! Give it to me! I'm gonna live forever! Ha ha! I'm gonna live forever! Ha ha! Because I couldn't accept the Ha ha! Because I couldn't accept the truth, I died in a hospital, Because I couldn't accept the truth, I died in a hospital, barely conscious, in a whole lot truth, I died in a hospital, barely conscious, in a whole lot of pain, when I could have barely conscious, in a whole lot of pain, when I could have chosen to die at home, of pain, when I could have chosen to die at home, surrounded by my family. chosen to die at home, surrounded by my family. Adam,I thinkI'mtelling surrounded by my family. Adam,I thinkI'mtelling this story. Adam,I thinkI'mtelling this story. I'msorry. this story. I'msorry. I know it by heart. I'msorry. I know it by heart. SoEmily, I know it by heart. SoEmily, now is the time to make these SoEmily, now is the time to make these plans for future now is the time to make these plans for future healthcare decisions. plans for future healthcare decisions. It's a time to talk with your healthcare decisions. It's a time to talk with your family about your values, It's a time to talk with your family about your values, your preferences and your goals, family about your values, your preferences and your goals, so they don't end up guessing your preferences and your goals, so they don't end up guessing when they make your decisions. so they don't end up guessing when they make your decisions. Imean,Iwouldn'tmind that . when they make your decisions. Imean,Iwouldn'tmind that . Murph's my fiancé. Imean,Iwouldn'tmind that . Murph's my fiancé. He would know what I want. Murph's my fiancé. He would know what I want. That'sanunderstandable He would know what I want. That'sanunderstandable point of view. That'sanunderstandable point of view. A lot of people think that. point of view. A lot of people think that. But the research is very clear. A lot of people think that. But the research is very clear. When families don't have these But the research is very clear. When families don't have these conversations, the family When families don't have these conversations, the family members are no better than conversations, the family members are no better than strangers at making members are no better than strangers at making these decisions. strangers at making these decisions. They end up guessing. these decisions. They end up guessing. Andthatcanbereally, They end up guessing. Andthatcanbereally, really hard on them. Andthatcanbereally, really hard on them. Dadwouldn'twanttosuffer. really hard on them. Dadwouldn'twanttosuffer. Pull the damn plug. Dadwouldn'twanttosuffer. Pull the damn plug. I'dfeelto guilty Pull the damn plug. I'dfeelto guilty to let him die. I'dfeelto guilty to let him die. Keep him hooked up forever! to let him die. Keep him hooked up forever! Ithinkwe shouldeat him . Keep him hooked up forever! Ithinkwe shouldeat him . That'd be the most efficient. Ithinkwe shouldeat him . That'd be the most efficient. Sometimestheconflictsare That'd be the most efficient. Sometimestheconflictsare so severe, I don't know that Sometimestheconflictsare so severe, I don't know that the family will ever talk so severe, I don't know that the family will ever talk to each other again. the family will ever talk to each other again. Thatissuchahard to each other again. Thatissuchahard conversation to have. Thatissuchahard conversation to have. I mean, I don't-- conversation to have. I mean, I don't-- I don't know where I mean, I don't-- I don't know where I would begin. I don't know where I would begin. SoEmily,thereare three I would begin. SoEmily,thereare three simple questions everyone SoEmily,thereare three simple questions everyone should consider. simple questions everyone should consider. The first is, if you couldn't should consider. The first is, if you couldn't make your own decisions, The first is, if you couldn't make your own decisions, who would make decisions make your own decisions, who would make decisions on your behalf? who would make decisions on your behalf? Kids,ifIweretoever on your behalf? Kids,ifIweretoever become so sick that I couldn't Kids,ifIweretoever become so sick that I couldn't decide on my own care, become so sick that I couldn't decide on my own care, I would want your mother decide on my own care, I would want your mother Haylie to decide. I would want your mother Haylie to decide. YoumarriedHaylie? Haylie to decide. YoumarriedHaylie? It'smystorybook,Ican YoumarriedHaylie? It'smystorybook,Ican write it however I want. It'smystorybook,Ican write it however I want. Thesecondis ,if yousuffer write it however I want. Thesecondis ,if yousuffer a serious and permanent brain Thesecondis ,if yousuffer a serious and permanent brain injury, how bad would it a serious and permanent brain injury, how bad would it have to be for you to change injury, how bad would it have to be for you to change your goals of care? have to be for you to change your goals of care? Well,I wouldn'twanttobe your goals of care? Well,I wouldn'twanttobe kept alive if I was brain dead, Well,I wouldn'twanttobe kept alive if I was brain dead, which I guess right now, kept alive if I was brain dead, which I guess right now, I might be. which I guess right now, I might be. Thethirdquestionis, doyou I might be. Thethirdquestionis, doyou have any strongly-held values or Thethirdquestionis, doyou have any strongly-held values or beliefs that would influence how have any strongly-held values or beliefs that would influence how medical decisions might be made? beliefs that would influence how medical decisions might be made? Um... medical decisions might be made? Um... I don't know, honestly, these Um... I don't know, honestly, these are really tough questions I don't know, honestly, these are really tough questions to field right now. are really tough questions to field right now. Well,you'reright,Emily, to field right now. Well,you'reright,Emily, they are hard to answer. Well,you'reright,Emily, they are hard to answer. That's why in La Crosse, they are hard to answer. That's why in La Crosse, Wisconsin, we decided to That's why in La Crosse, Wisconsin, we decided to approach all of our patients and Wisconsin, we decided to approach all of our patients and offer them the opportunity to do approach all of our patients and offer them the opportunity to do this planning, that way families offer them the opportunity to do this planning, that way families have the confidence that this planning, that way families have the confidence that they made the right decisions. Didyoueverhavea conversation like that with Murph? conversation like that with Murph? No,I neverthoughtaboutit with Murph? No,I neverthoughtaboutit before today. No,I neverthoughtaboutit before today. Well,thedecisionisyours. Idon'tknowwhattodo . I don't know what she wants. Ihatethis. I don't know what she wants. Ihatethis. Deathwillalwaysbea Ihatethis. Deathwillalwaysbea terrible loss, but if you can Deathwillalwaysbea terrible loss, but if you can accept its inevitability, terrible loss, but if you can accept its inevitability, it makes the whole process accept its inevitability, it makes the whole process a lot easier. Iknow. I know what I want. I know what I want here. I know what I want. I know what I want here. I'm going to die. I know what I want here. I'm going to die. I didn't want it to be now, I'm going to die. I didn't want it to be now, but... it's going to be. Yousure? Yeah,I don't-- I don't want to be unconscious Yeah,I don't-- I don't want to be unconscious on a hospital bed forever, and I don't want to be unconscious on a hospital bed forever, and if I leave the decision up to on a hospital bed forever, and if I leave the decision up to Murph, you know, no matter what if I leave the decision up to Murph, you know, no matter what he chooses, he'll never feel Murph, you know, no matter what he chooses, he'll never feel like he made the right choice. I- -I don'tknow,Em. It'sokay. I'm okay. It'sokay. I'm okay. This is right. It's been fun, Adam. Yeah? MorethanIliketoadmit . Okay. Okay. ItlookslikeEmily decided for you. I'm sorry. decided for you. I'm sorry. Oh,God. I'm sorry. Oh,God. Tonight I was gonna surprise her Oh,God. Tonight I was gonna surprise her and take her to a Ronda Rousey Tonight I was gonna surprise her and take her to a Ronda Rousey meet-and-greet. and take her to a Ronda Rousey meet-and-greet. Wait,what? meet-and-greet. Wait,what? Ronda Rousey meet-and-greet? Wait,what? Ronda Rousey meet-and-greet? Oh,myGod. Ronda Rousey meet-and-greet? Oh,myGod. She's awake. Oh,myGod. She's awake. Emily,you'realive! She's awake. Emily,you'realive! I love you so much. Emily,you'realive! I love you so much. Iloveyou. I love you so much. Iloveyou. Iloveyou,too . Iloveyou. Iloveyou,too . Icameas soonasI could. Iloveyou,too . Icameas soonasI could. Oh,Haylie. Icameas soonasI could. Oh,Haylie. Oh,yeah,you'reawake-- Oh,Haylie. Oh,yeah,you'reawake-- Whoops! Holycrow. She dead. Weareheretodayto celebrate the life of Haylie. "Thou shalt show me celebrate the life of Haylie. "Thou shalt show me "the path to life. "Thou shalt show me "the path to life. "In thy presence is the fullness "the path to life. "In thy presence is the fullness "of love, in thy mercy, "In thy presence is the fullness "of love, in thy mercy, by all of God's"-- "of love, in thy mercy, by all of God's"-- Funeralsareverywasteful! by all of God's"-- Funeralsareverywasteful! No, I'm not sad. Funeralsareverywasteful! No, I'm not sad. I'm spreading the truth No, I'm not sad. I'm spreading the truth to the masses. I'm spreading the truth to the masses. That coffin's too expensive! to the masses. That coffin's too expensive! The markup's insane, That coffin's too expensive! The markup's insane, it's a scam. The markup's insane, it's a scam. Adam,stop. it's a scam. Adam,stop. Okay? Adam,stop. Okay? It's okay to grieve. Okay? It's okay to grieve. I'm sad, too. It's okay to grieve. I'm sad, too. There'sgotto be something I'm sad, too. There'sgotto be something I can learn to make this better. Idon'tthinkthereis. I'mscaredto die. Well,whataboutall that accepting death stuff? Well,whataboutall that accepting death stuff? Itdoesn'tmakeit accepting death stuff? Itdoesn'tmakeit less frightening. Itdoesn'tmakeit less frightening. It doesn't-- less frightening. It doesn't-- It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't-- It doesn't make any sense. What is it for? It doesn't make any sense. What is it for? What do you do? What is it for? What do you do? What are you supposed to do What do you do? What are you supposed to do when a person dies? Idon'tknow. But... It's okay not to know. It'sokaynottoknow . Yeah,it'sokaynot toknow . Sometimes you don't know, and you may never know, and that's okay. Come on, let's get you out of here. Let's go for a walk. Oh, thanks. It's this dumb cane. Do you want to ruin It's this dumb cane. Do you want to ruin something for me? Do you want to ruin something for me? Maybe that would cheer you up. something for me? Maybe that would cheer you up. Oh,no. Maybe that would cheer you up. Oh,no. Imean,Ibelievealot of Oh,no. Imean,Ibelievealot of really dumb stuff, you know, Imean,Ibelievealot of really dumb stuff, you know, like pop rocks and Coke? really dumb stuff, you know, like pop rocks and Coke? That's dangerous. like pop rocks and Coke? That's dangerous. You know, and the moon landing? That's dangerous. You know, and the moon landing? Never happened. You know, and the moon landing? Never happened. And also the Illuminati, I-- Never happened. And also the Illuminati, I-- I'mreallynotinthemood And also the Illuminati, I-- I'mreallynotinthemood right now. I'mreallynotinthemood right now. Sorry. right now. Sorry. Okay. Hey,how's-- How's wedding planning going? It's pretty good. How's wedding planning going? It's pretty good. It's very busy. It's pretty good. It's very busy. I'msure. It's very busy. I'msure. I'm really, really looking I'msure. I'm really, really looking forward to it. I'm really, really looking forward to it. Yeah. forward to it. Yeah. YouandMurphare the best. Yeah. YouandMurphare the best. Aww. YouandMurphare the best. Aww. Yeah. Aww. Yeah. You know, a lot of wedding traditions are, like, really arbitrary. Yeah? really arbitrary. Yeah? I'm sure. Yeah? I'm sure. Oh,yeah. I'm sure. Oh,yeah. Oh, I even read this Oh,yeah. Oh, I even read this article about it... Oh, I even read this article about it... ♪ Okay, we're all boarded up for the storm. - [ Thunderclap ] - Ah! And it looks great. I am loving all the new artwork, Jules. Thanks. I thought I'd make hurricane prep fun. That one's my favorite. It's like Tom is right here. Tom: I am! It's pretty nasty out here! Aah! Grayson: - Whoa! Andy: - Oh, ho ho! Oh, that wind is vicious. Yeah, but not as bad as the grocery store. There was only one pack of toilet paper left, and me and this crazed housewife reached for it at the same time. Tell me you took that bitch down. [ Wind whistling ] - Ha! - [ Claps hands ] Still... I feel like there's something missing. Are you perhaps looking for... these? - Ohh! - Aah! Yeah! You are almost sexy right now. I mean, seriously? I got bit. Mmm. _ Jules: Ugh. That was a wild night, but we made it through. And nobody behaved badly expect for everything that Jelly did. I warned you guys-- when I fear for my life, I kick and scream and yell and I tell people exactly what I think about them. Still, I am sorry for everything that I said. And did. - I'd be mad if I wasn't so impressed. - Ugh. How is the damage out there? Well, it looks like we lost a tree and gained a new patio set! Score! You're holding hands? What, is the world ending? No, it's just all the chaos and destruction in town makes me feel romantic. If we had walked over a power line, Andy might've gotten lucky right there and then. Ooh! [ Laughs ] Wow, sounds like the power's still out almost everywhere in town. A pipe burst and flooded the gym at the high school, and they were having their prom tonight. So I called the school and I said, "Prom's on tonight, free of charge, right here at Gray's pub." - [ Laughs ] - Yeah. Laugh it up. I have to close the bar early and fill it with streamers and balloons for a bunch of kids who aren't paying a dime. - It's so funny. - Sucks to be you right now. It does. [ Gasps ] Oh, Jules, is there a small detail you might've left out? I signed us all up as chaperones. Oh. They don't seem very excited. I'm sure they'll be better when they realize they can just stand around and drink all night. - Oh. Well... - Oh! They can't! Because the high school's making me take all the liquor out of my bar for the night! - It'll be fun? - I will kill you. This whole prom idea is so lame, right? Well, it depends on who you were in high school-- a pasty young dork with more zits than friends, or a dashing babehound with dance moves so smooth they almost sent a teacher to jail. Mrs. Pritchett loved my dancing so much that she asked me over to give her a dance lesson. Hmm. I wasn't ready to do the kind of dancing she wanted to do. Wow. High school me would've hated high school you. If we're doing this, we should do it right. Chaperones are prom secret service. It's like I keep trying to tell you, Boo-- stop talking to me. Look, tonight won't be so bad. All we have to do is stand around. I'm gonna act like I did at my own prom-- I'll be aloof and above it all and judge everyone. - You'll seem different, but not. - Yeah. Guys, none of us are gonna take this that seriously-- I now take that back. [ To tune of "Bridal Chorus" ] ♪ prom, prom, prom-prom ♪ ♪ prom, prom, prom-prom ♪ [ Gasps ] Prom! Yikes. Dudes. Weak. How come I'm the only one who's in the prom spirit? 'Cause you're the only one insane enough to think that we're gonna jump aboard your crazy train. Ellie, I caught some of that, and I don't think I liked it. You know what sucks? The fact that I'm the only one that is weird enough and goofy enough to take this as a chance for us all to have a little fun ourselves. That's what sucks. - [ Door opens and closes ] - O... M... Gigi freakin' Fernández! [ Both giggle ] My baby has no shot at a normal life. ♪ Prom-prom-prom, prom prom-prom-prom, prom, prom ♪ I think it's sweet. The car's out front when you're ready. Aah! Oh! [ Giggles ] You're welcome. We're so glad you came. Now go get crazy! It's prom! Whoo! Prom! If these kids get half as crazy as I did at my prom... Tell me about it. The things that went down at my prom... ♪♪ Please don't get pregnant! Sometimes "I love you" is just a trick to get your dress off! [ Sighs ] Laurie, you know, I thought I'd be the only one getting dressed up. But then there you walk in, looking amazing. A little slutty, but mostly amazing. You, too. When I walked in and I saw you in this dress, I was like, "Ah! Soul mates!" You know, since the day we met, I spent most of my craziest times with you. Oh! Like the time we broke all the penises off the statues? - [ Laughs ] - Or when we went bar hopping and we stole that scary cop's gun? [ Gasps ] Or when we broke into Tom's house and we locked his girlfriend in the closet? Wow. We sound totally insane when you string 'em all together. You ready for another crazy adventure? The crazier, the better! - [ Laughs ] - [ Laughs ] So, like, normally, this is the moment where I would pound my drink and then smash it against the wall, but I'm kind of at a loss here. - Would these help? - [ Gasps ] Soul mates! Party in the bathroom stall, y'all! Oh! Isn't it great that you can still get crazy when you're a mom? It's time to put the popular girls in their place. Hey, catty cheerleaders, you want some real gossip? Your jock boyfriends are all in love with each other. Ellie, I am trying to focus on my job. Me, too. You think this dumb prom's gonna mock itself? Prom is not dumb! It's a beautiful night of magic and wonder. And sometimes, a poor kid's life is destroyed forever. But that won't happen here. Oh, no! Not on my watch! It sounds like you're working through some stuff. I'm gonna leave you to it. And I gotta get back to my thang. Hey, bet you 5 bucks that 5 years from now, that condom will still be in your pocket. You get it. He's not gonna ever use it. It's not that heavy. Do I need to make fun of "Star Wars" or something - to summon your angry nerd strength? - I'm fine. [ Strained voice ] And anyone who makes fun of "Star Wars" is just revealing their own cinematic ignorance. - [ Chuckles ] Nerd speak. - Whoa. I don't remember having that in my storeroom. Yo, guys. What's going on? [ Chuckles ] Why aren't you out at the party? - The thing is... - We're in a weird situation. Oh. [ Chuckles ] I get it, fellas. It's okay. I mean, look, you're 17. Life's crazy right now, and the one thing you can really count on is your best friend. It's natural to kiss a little. You know, just see if it feel all right. Dude! We're not gay. We didn't kiss. Uh, duh! [ Laughs ] I did not kiss my best friend in high school either. At all. Ever. We are always pulling back a strange new layer on you, aren't we? This is just the greatest night! Isn't it, Laurie? [ Drowners' "A Button On Your Blouse" playing ] How long have we been holding hands? Huh. Wasn't that fun? [ Chuckles ] Why don't you go spend some time with your friends now? [ Gasps ] These kids are so happy. They even gave me a nickname-- "That lady who saved prom." [ Laughs ] I even made a love connection. I found a lonely guy and a lonely girl, I put 'em together... and now they're dancing. It's a weird dance. It's like they're trying to smother a fire between their crotch. So what have you been doing since I lost you? Gettin' crazy? Yeah. No, I mean, I was. But then I remembered that I left my purse over here so I came to find it. That's the end of the story. Hey, it's early. Let's go have some fun. Go without me because I need to catch my breath after all the... purse excitement. No way! We're a team! Also, you may have to rescue me in case anyone pulls me into a dance circle. That is my biggest fear. Well, that and... [ Whispers ] clowns. What about a dance circle made up of clowns? Ooh. ♪ why don't you just come around ♪ ♪ and undo another button on your blouse? ♪ Boy: [ In distance ] It's going down. At 11:00 sharp, we shank the dork. ♪ I hate the thought of you missing out ♪ Who-- who said that? ! No. Oh, please, no. So what's going on? All right, so there's this girl here tonight - that I really like. - Same with me. Oh, that's great! Perfect wingman situation. Two bros, two babes-- Yeah, it's the same girl. Ohh, that is less great. Her name's Kim. She's new at our school. I'm really into her, so I asked Pete to go talk to her - and find out her situation. - So I did. I went up and asked her if she had a boyfriend, and she said, "I do now," and then she winked at me. - Traitor! - I didn't mean for it to happen. Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys. No need to let a girl get in between two best friends, especially when there's an obvious answer. Very obvious. - This one goes to Pete. - Adam. No, dude, that is Adam. Dude, that is Pete. Can you give us a sec? Live it up, football jocks! - It's all downhill from here. - Oh! It's going down! I just heard! Here, tonight! It's going down! Nice dress. Did your mom make it? Listen to me, damn it! I didn't see them, but I heard their plan. "At 11:00 sharp, we shank the dork." Ellie, some poor kid's getting pantsed! No, this can't be happening. Not now! Not again! Boo, you got your crazy face on. A-are you all right? [ Sighs deeply ] 1987. Senior prom. I was so excited. I had a cool tux, a hot date, and a plan to help my best pal Bucky Martin score a dance with the girl of his dreams. Bucky Martin? Sounds like a stud. - He actually wasn't. - Stop it. But I knew he could be, if he-- if he just believed. And then when I saw Cindy Lee standing alone at the punch bowl, I grabbed him by the lapels, I said, "This is it. Your time. Bucky time. Go get her." He looked so cool walking over to her. So brave. [ Breathes deeply ] She looked up and saw him and smiled. ♪♪ They were so fast. [ Whispers ] Jocks always are. ♪♪ It was a half a second before Bucky's pants hit the ground. - [ Fabric drops ] - He just froze... - [ Laughter ] - ...standing there in his little white undies. The laughs were deafening. He turned to me, his eyes pleading for help, trembling... I did nothing! - I couldn't even get out "Bucky!" - [ Gasps ] He turned around and ran, his pants still at his ankles, until he was out the door. And I never saw him again. Until Monday at school, when I saw him again. But he was different. He would never be the same. The Bucky I knew was dead. And now it's happening all over again. Not if we stop it. I was excited about my prom, too. I had the cutest vintage YSL jumpsuit. And when I got there, the nuns got all weird because my date was a 28-year-old Wall Street banker. [ Voice breaks ] They kicked me out. I ended up going to this mansion party that was, like, a thousand times better all-nighter. But still, I didn't get to dance at my prom. I never knew. I'm so... [ Sighs ] 28? Really? He was 28? Come on. We have a magical night to save. W-was it your date's mansion? 28? Chad, Kristin, lookin' good! There's my lovebirds. [ Laughs ] ♪ Ooh! They may need a hose! Hey, Jules, maybe we should hang back. You know, like, give the kids some space. They love us. We saved prom. Also, we're super fun. I think the kids can sense that. It's kinda like how dogs can hear loud whistles. ♪♪ [ Cheering ] Dance circle. [ Cheering continues ] Uh, no, thanks. I'm good. I'm not really cut out for a dance circle, so... Boy: Shake it! Shake it! Shake it! But Jules and Laurie are! What? How? We're going in! Laurie, this is why I love you! I can do anything when I'm with-- Laurie? [ Gasps ] ♪♪ Alone in a dance circle. No way out. Unless I get tough and dance my way out. [ Cheering ] No. I'm gonna die in here. All right, we have to move fast. We don't know who's behind this and we don't know who their target is. But in a pantsing plot, the story's always the same. Jerks versus dorks. You find the losers here and get them to safety. I'll sniff out the punks and the troublemakers. But mark my words, by 11:00, all dorks pants will be standing. [ Sighs ] God help us. Oh, Ellie, while you're out there wading through all the jerks, please stay focused. You know how you get weak around bad boys. Oh, please. No one here is over 18. Oh, that guy looks like he's over 18. I'll be careful. What the hell? You left me alone in a dance circle. I was trapped in a ring of clapping strangers who wouldn't let me go unless I busted a move. I have no moves to bust! What happened back there? I don't even know. What's going on? Huh? You've been acting a little strange all night. You made that comment about still gettin' crazy even when you're a mom. It just got into my head. Then we went into the bathroom to drink, - and crazy girls in these crazy dresses... - [ Chuckles ] ...about to pound a giant bag of wine, and I saw myself in the mirror... [ Laughs ] I only saw the ceiling. I was like, glug, glug, glug. Sorry. Continue. I have a baby at home. And here I am, in this slutty dress, ready to party my ass off in the bathroom of a bar, acting like... Like your mother did when you were a kid? She was the Ultimate Party Slut. And that's not coming from me. That was an actual title she won in Daytona. You think Adam should back off? Duh. Check the Magic 8 ball, buddy. [ Gasps ] All signs point to Pete. - Adam liked Kim first. - Well, too bad. Kim digs Pete. That's because he stepped in with the c-block. Pete stepped in because Adam was too much of a wussy to talk to Kim himself! - Ahem. - We'll be right with you. Yeah, you guys good? Want a soda or anything? Grayson: No? Great. Why am I the only one looking out for Kim here? She wants tall, cool Pete, not lame, weird Adam. You don't know the first thing about Adam! You don't know the first thing about Pete! Hey, guys, do you like role-playing games and stories with dragons? Get out of here now, please! Run for your lives! I'm hosting a trunk sale outside-- cigarettes, bad lite beer, and urine samples so clean you'd swear it was from the math club. Parking lot. 10 minutes. I think I'm having an asthma attack. Leave now if you value your pants. Just go. Go. Dude, the cops are coming to... [ Inhales sharply ] I can't lie to you. Let's just... get in your car and see where the night takes us. Laurie, you're nothing like your mom - and you never will be. - [ Sighs deeply ] Where is your baby right now? He's at home with a sitter. Where would Baby Laurie have been if her mother was out at a bar, partying? In her purse. At the bar. Jules, I know I'm not like her. I just... I wanna be a great mom so bad that... I'm afraid I'm never gonna be able to have fun again. Of course you can. Just because you have a kid doesn't mean you have to change who you are. All you have to do is... Girl: - [ Giggles ] Let's go dance. Girl #2: - Yeah! Trust your instincts. Mm. Laurie, you're a mom. And not just because you have a baby. It's because of who you are and the love that you have in your heart. I've seen the way you hold him. And even when you go out and you get a little crazy, the thing you're gonna be most excited about is to get home and see your son. All my mom ever wanted to do at the end of the night was go to an airport hotel and see if any hair bands were staying there. She once took her top off in a hot tub and caused a fistfight between Kip Winger and the lead singer of Quiet Riot. Please don't tell me that you-- Poolside in her purse. If I close my eyes, I can still hear them arguing. My God, she was not a great mom. It sounded like she had great boobs, though. - She did. - Mm. But you're right, Jules. The end of tonight, the thing that I am most looking forward to is getting home and being with my baby. I know. - Come here. - Oh. Mm. Jules... is this hug a display of affection or are you just drinking wine? [ Mouth full ] 'Splay of 'fection. Adam is not lame. He may not be tall and good-looking like Pete... Mm-hmm. You got that right. But-- but he's deep, interesting, and he's tired of cool guy idiots acting like he's inferior. If Adam had a fair shot, Kim would've seen his substance and known he's the better guy. Oh, so Pete isn't smart and has no substance because he's cool? - Well said. I agree. - That is so unfair! Cool guys can be deep, too. You know, you cut them, they bleed. And if you call them dumb, they hurt. But then they put on a tank top, and everything's okay, so... Uncool guys do not have a monopoly over feelings. - Hey, where you guys going? - Out to the party. We settled the Kim thing on our own. We're good. Also, this got weird when it became about the two of you. Later. About us? [ Chuckles ] - What are they talking about? - No idea. They're weird. Totally. Totally. [ Exhales deeply ] It's actually a nice little party. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Pretty nice. [ Nick Mulvey's "Fever To The Form" playing ] Listen, Trav, I know we give each other a hard time, but truth is, I don't really think you're a nerd. Well, thanks. Hey, and even though I may imply it or flat-out say it, I don't think you're shallow or dumb. Thanks. You totally think I'm a nerd. Huge nerd. Huge. And you totally think I'm shallow and dumb, huh? So dumb. But, uh, you're all right. [ Pats arm ] Nerd. What's that about? Andy: No idea. [ Chuckles ] That's weird but... kinda sweet. No, it isn't. It's just weird. Check it out-- three cute girls and our boy Adam thinking about making a move. ♪ reasons ♪ ♪ oh, my fever to the form ♪ Adam: How's it going? [ Speaking indistinctly ] ♪♪ ♪ oh, fever to the form ♪ Andy: Uhh! Uhh! [ Grunts ] [ Gasps ] [ Laughter ] ♪ singing "Give me more" ♪ ♪ 'cause you were never empty ♪ ♪ and we've been here before ♪ - [ Laughs ] - Andy's fun. Yeah. I love those boxer shorts, too. Mm-hmm. [ Laughter continues ] Quite a night. [ Shivers ] I didn't- - I didn't know I had it in me. But when duty called, I found the strength to be a hero. I only hope one day, both of you get a chance to know how that feels. Actually, I was a lifeguard one summer in high school. And I saved, like, 15 people from drowning. Well, I'm a brain surgeon, so I've saved two or three... hundred lives. Oh, those-- those-- those are good stories, too. Oh, yeah, but how did you stop that guy's pants from being pulled down? How did you pulled that off? I didn't know I had it in me, but when duty called, I found the strength to be a hero. It was all adrenaline... [ Indistinct talking continues ] Mamma? Everyone is sitting and waiting in the cafeteria. Come in, please. Close the door. ScanBrazil has withdrawn the contract. -The agreement was completely waterproof. -They have gone bankrupt. This is absolutely insane. They sat here and smiled a week ago. I'll find a solution. Go down, you. I ... Just look at the numbers. ScanBrazil is thinly possible. Of course I'm sure. Because it My job is to be sure. -Thanks. -There you are. -Hi. -It's not so bad. I now know not. I'm so proud of you. Did you call anyone? Fine. I'll be right. Thank you. -They keep talking about you. Sorry, Angie. I must go. This is your night. You've worked so hard for this. That's not what I work for. -No, But still. Sometimes it's good to take a break and enjoy the achievements. It does not help to look back. Here, keep it. You can get it. I do not care who you were with. Just get your ass down here now. But Aksel, you should have seen her. A gorgeous blonde. Her tits is the size of melons. -Beina is as long as my dick. Fuck you, Degang. So, ScanBrazil? People all over the earth tremble enough in his pants now. Dispose of CDN, Genergy, Oxon and the European branch of Mintec. Can anyone make some coffee for us? It's going to be a long night. Talk Pronovo and Sandelman. Buy what you can. Go, go. And I need a clean shirt! Look here. This is how champagne is opened. 55 million so far. They supply them now. I love the smell of bankruptcy in the morning. Quiet now, Degang. -What Tsirk? -There is Belarus. You have to think about the political aspect. They here, however. -They are already bankrupt. I was not finished talking. M r. Borgen, you've got a phone from Norway. They say it's personal. Do you have a privacy? Put them over. Can you please go? -Hallo? -Hi. Aksel? Aksel Nilsen? -Who is it? -William Hansteen. -Are you there? -Yes. How are you? Do you know Solar Tech? -Why do you ask? -Old Lifjord Mechanical. We leave on the solar cell production a few years ago. -We have lost an important contract. -Scanbrazil? You have the interests of the market for alternative energy. We are facing a breakthrough on 4G. If I sent you ... -We are not interested. -How can you say that? I see there are Eva who is controlling the company now. Yes, I met a little wall after what happened with Karine. Eva has never gotten over it. She has worked like mad. I've hardly seen her. -Never miss home, Aksel? -No. It's been 20 years. Things look different now. And Eve? It's been 20 years for her too. I can't help you. I'm sorry. Hello, my friend. I have been in contact with the ministry. I thought it should exist willingness to find a political solution. There is a whole community. Hundreds of people. There is not a single company that will take us with pliers! I do not think it's going to go this time. Do not say that. I've failed them. I've failed everyone. Me you... -No, You have not. -Yes, That was your. Solar Tech was your life's work, and I threw it away. I love this place. The people here are ... I have lived here more than half my life. All would have been affected. So what you're saying, is that you practically bankrupt? No, what I am saying is that I believe in miracles. If it's what it takes to save the situation, so I believe in anything. Thank you. -It's not my problem. -Time! -Hi! Yeah? He has been expelled again. This time for smoking. -How silly it is possible to be? -It was not me. There were many of us, and ... It's complicated. Complicated? Either you have made it, or you have not done it. You are a fucking jerk. -OK. You have house arrest. -Drag to hell. -Are we bad parents? He's 16. It's just a phase. -You're home early. -Yes. -What is it? -Nothing. -Are you OK? -Yes. I must return to the office. Can it wait? No. This has waited too long. No. Leong, you always trust my instincts. -Not with 10.2 million euro. -Solenergi is the new oil. They are doing groundbreaking research on nanocrystals. They are close by cracking fourth generation code. -It have I heard that before. -I think it's worth checking. Leong, have I ever disappointed you? -I will send Degang. -No, I will go myself. -I speak the language after all. -Do you speak Norwegian? Yeah, I was born there. -You have never told me. You never asked. All right. Send me the numbers. And if I like them, you go in. Do whatever you Vikings do. -The press is waiting downstairs. -Good. I just want to coordinate a little with you first. I want us to tell them that we are dealing with new opportunities, and we are optimistic. "Opportunities"? What the hell are you talking about? You should not dictate what to say. You do not get me juge. Of course not, Svein. People are afraid. 300 men need to know what happens. I know. But I want them to find out from me. Not read about it in the newspaper. I beg you. Bakk me up against the press now. Please. We need to lay off 200 in the first place. I'm sorry, but there is a Chinese on the phone. Take a message, Marianne. He said you would rather discuss funding with him than bankruptcy with the board. I've been thinking that maybe we should take some time off. I can give my clients to someone else. We can go on a trip together. -What are you going? -I'll going to Norway. -Norge? -There are work. Cann't you send someone else? -It is in Lifjord. You're going back to your hometown. I thought you hated being there. It's an interesting business possibility. A solar cell factory. -It seems promising. -Is this a strange coincidence? -Can you stop interrogating me? -No. -Oh my God. -How many times have I asked you about your past? You will never say anything. You give me one sentence about an unhappy childhood. That's because there is not much more to tell. Every year we send Christmas cards a mother I've never met. And now, suddenly, you are going there on business. These people, they are ... I mean... Damn, it's complicated. There is no more behind, that is. - William! Yeah, I'm out here. We are saved! It is a miracle. We have received an inquiry from Asia. A Chinese company from Kuala Lumpur. It sounds like a joke, but they seem quite serious. They will come and watch factory. Do you understand? Wait a minute now. One thing at a time. Pacific World Group. They are big. Have you nothing to say? -Fantastic. Yes, they are super serious! -Hi. Champagne, please. -And Fish. -I do not know if I like it. -This is the new reality. The Chinese are unlikely worse than anyone else. -Hi. -Hi. Yes ... -Welcome to Lifjord. -Look at this place. It looks like hobbit land down there. There we have them. -Welcome to Norway. -Thanks. -Be careful. It's wet outside. -Rasmus Sunde. I'm the mayor. Aksel? -As you know, Lifjord municipal -is an important shareholder. -Yes absolutely. -This is my associate Hai -Nice. Eva Hansteen. -Hi. Nice. -Welcome. -Ordføreren. -Welcome. Hal ... Eva. What are you doing here? Is not William here? No. Let me go. You have no right to to be here in Lifjord. You know that. Yes, we may as well get in the way. What came it? Give me a moment. Yes of course. William, where are you now? Did she not know that I came? I could not risk it. That's the way out. Now you're here, and she's going to to deal with it. I must implement corporate review, but it ends here. -Everything okay? I think I took from the car. It goes well. How are you doing? That's him. -Who? The Chinese investor, it's him. Aksel Nilsen. -Oh well. I shook his hand. Damn ... It goes well, it. Come now. That's OK. Helen, now comes the Chinese soon. It does not appear here. Tonje. -Put away the report now. -They must get the latest version. It's not what's important now. Now you just go in and smile and buttoning his coat outright. Let me. It is not here. Then we buttoning his coat together. You and I. Right? So remember to smile. We have made major investments in buildings and machinery. -per-Olav? -Blitt Big shot now, yes. You have to see the view. Join this road. Gentlemen, this is our research department. We are proud of what we gained through research. Yes, here is Frederik Jackman and Tonje Sandvik. Tonje Sandvik our research leader. Is that you? Aksel god. Do you know me again? -Yes. Of course. -Here's Report. -It's Not necessary. But it is the latest version. We have what we need, thanks. Shall we proceed? -Yes. OK. Thus, it is so ... It's so disrespectful. Yes, it must have been a shock. Where is Lars? I need to call him. No, wait a minute. Eva, listen to me. PWG is the only card we have. In a few days the deal is done, and so you'll never have to see him again. -What do you mean? -Drag Back. Hear what they have to say He will not getting buy a single share. -So You'd rather go bankrupt? -Yes. He tries to buy their freedom. Why would he do that? He lives a good life in Malaysia with his wife and children. How do you know? William, have you had contact with him? I had to do something. -Oh my God. No. It is you. You asked him to come here. 10.2 million euros. That is the price for Karine? He killed her, he hit her head against the stone until it cracked! Finally. It was not him. Tonje saw him somewhere else. The alibi was a joke! We all know it! Try to think ahead. Think of the responsibilities we have. Here you can not ask me. Never. Never. Hey dear. God, so good to see you. -Oh? Has it been good? Aksel Nilsen. It's rescuer. -The Aksel Nilsen? -Yes. -Oh my God. Mom says we should pull ourselves. It can also ye are not. It's crisis. Lars, you must talk to her. I've tried, but she is furious because we conducted the tour. But you must have the agreement. Lars. I have not seen him in 20 years, since the trial. So he stands here. Totally sick. You just do not let her run over you. Not this time. -No. She takes well to mind. Yeah, talk to her. -Hey it's me. -I do not know if I want to talk. -How did it go with Tim? -It goes well good with him. He spoke to me twice without screaming. Angie, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I went. -Are you all right? You were right. It was a bad idea to come here. -Has Something happened? No. I'm going home soon. We can do as you said. I might take me a little time off from work. Maybe we can go somewhere. Jonah, sorry, the answer is... Oh, hello. - What? - Holy mother of moly. - What is it? - Ma'am, Fox is calling Washington State for us. Yes! - No! - They called Ohio. - Oh, my God, that's amazing! - Ohio? - No, for O'Brien. I should have said. - Oh, my God. - ABC is saying it's still too close to call. - Yeah. - No, they're calling it now... O'Brien. - Shit! - Fox again and Politico. New Hampshire to O'Brien and Ohio. - Yes, we took Florida! - Oh! - That is extraordinary. - Yes. - What is my number now, Kent? - Okay, one second. - You're two... You're... - What? - Yeah, you're 256. - Kent, where does that leave us? Okay, it all comes down to Virginia. If O'Brien gets Virginia, he wins. - However, if we get Virginia... - We win! No, actually, Gary, if we get it, we tie. - What? - What? I don't follow these things that closely, but that's right, isn't it, Mr. Davison? Yes. Tie, like it's a tie? You mean, we tie? - You do. - The real shock, Greg, is where this leaves us. Neck and neck if the president takes Virginia. Matty, you'll forgive me if I sideline you here. - Sure. - Dan, you know the president well. What is going on in that Meyer hotel suite right this second? The president has a lot of top minds working on her campaign. They're gonna be all over this. What happens when there's a tie? Everybody goes online to try to find out what happens if we get a tie. Way ahead of you. Shit, I'm just getting how to tie a tie. Is there a book? Like an old-fashioned... like a paper book? Jesus Christ, you know? You do your best. You try to serve the people - and then they just fuck you over. - Yeah. And you know why? Because they're ignorant and they're dumb as shit. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is democracy. - God damn it. - It's the 12th Amendment. - I have 20th Amendment. - Why are there so many amendments? Get it right the first time, people. It's actually both. 12th is superseded by the 20th. They give the House until January 20th to elect the president. Each state gets one vote. First candidate to 26 is the new president and the Senate chooses the VP. It's a close election with a ton of House races too close to call. What happens if it's a tie in the House? Right. - Is it a dance-off? Well, vice president-elect becomes president. Whoever the Senate has picked for VP will be president. - Wait, that means... - That Tom... - What? - Could be the president. Well, I... I had literally no idea. It's good to be prepared. So, wait. So you mean that I... I might lose this election to my fucking vice president? At least it'd be somebody from our team, ma'am. I mean, that's good, right? I didn't mean to make her cry. There, there. Oh, it's gonna be okay. - She's going down. - She's going down. Don't touch her. - Yeah? - Sir, I'm sorry to contact you directly, but the crowd is drooling for you. Yep, floor is wet out here. - Okay, great. Thank you. - Tom James! Tom James! I'm gonna go rally the rally. With all due respect, you need to get your shit together now, lady. Ma'am up. You're still the leader of the free world. Hmm? Where's Tom? Oh, he's gone to talk to the crowd at the rally. - What? - The fuck he has. Why would you let him do that? - Well, you don't work here. - Well, neither do you. All right, fuck all of you. I'm going to the rally. Ma'am, ma'am, that would be unprecedented. No, I'll tell you what's unprecedented, Kent. A tie is unprecedented. So is becoming the first lady president. So is that jackoff becoming president through the back door. Okay? The rule book's been torn up now and America is wiping its nasty ass with it. Get the fuck out of my way! - Ma'am! Ma'am! - Let's go. Tom James! Tom James! Tom James! Thank you. Okay, I admit, this isn't boring. Why make the total of electoral votes an even number? - Insanity? - Listen, I know this is a long night. You're tired and you're cold and your legs ache and you need the bathroom. Boy, do you need the bathroom. That fucking guy with his fucking charm and his fucking son and his fucking wheelchair with his spine all fucked up. My grandmother survived the Dust Bowl. And before she died at the age of 89, she told me a secret that she kept for almost 50 years. The story concerns... Ladies and gentlemen, Tom James. How about it? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Wow. Do I know how to pick 'em? Yep. Well, thank you so much for being here. I know it's been a wait. And we really do appreciate your presence. What a night, right? It's the night of nights. Um, you know what I want to do? I want to introduce you to the First Daughter of the United States, my daughter Catherine Selina Meyer. Catherine. Always a delight to have... She is such a beautiful girl. I'm so proud of her. Well, we have another minute or so before we're prepared to call Virginia. Just checking a couple of precincts. We've made some premature calls this evening. So we're anxious to be absolutely certain this time. Why don't we meet some of the people who lift me up? I'd like you to meet them. Guys, come on out. How about these great faces? Incredible scenes. Never happened before. Very emotional moment. Dan, do you wish you were there? I'm sure it's a very exciting place to be at. There's never been an election like this. No. You must want to be there. Folks, you don't know her, but this is Karen Collins. And she has been a friend of mine for a while. Yep. And Amy Brookheimer is here. Amy Brookheimer who so successfully ran my campaign until she became unwell. I'll tell you somebody else that is not here tonight who was with the campaign... Sounds like it could be you, Dan. Well, I would be incredibly touched. And that is, of course, Leslie Kerr. I'm sure Leslie is thanking you, too. And I'm hearing we can now project a Virginia result. - Dan, what is that projection? - Thank you, Greg. CNN is prepared to make the following projection that Virginia, with its 13 electoral votes, is a win for President Meyer. This election is a tie. We did it! We have one more hurdle to overcome. And we shall overcome. One more river to cross. One more mountain to climb. But I have been to the mountaintop. Thank you. - I don't know what to do. - We don't do anything. - You do what you have to do. - Yeah, I'm getting drunk. Hey, Dan, when you get this, can you put in a good word for me with Greg? I think that I need to keep my TV work going. Okay, you're gonna win. And if you don't, I'll kill myself. Kent, what happens next? You've got to know. No, I'm afraid not. Some of these House races, - they're still too close to call. - What does that mean? Well, presently, we cannot predict the result of the vote in Congress on January 20. - We're in a kind of purgatory. - Welcome to my world. - Can you stop thinking about yourself for one second? - Honestly. No, because I'm going to prison. Have I mentioned that? - So what are we gonna do here? - Should we drop the balloons? - No, no balloons. - Maybe just drop half of them? - No! - Why do we even have balloons? Ma'am, I seriously overstepped the mark going out onstage. That was a fuck-up. Yeah, I'll say. You might want to watch that if you become president. If that does happen, want to be my veep? Why don't you go help them with the balloons? Copy that. [Woman] And now begins the ancient word. The sun sleeps below the sky, and the world turns upside down. In the night, we make our feast. For centuries, I danced for them, the blood-gatherer, the bringer of souls. I've brought them the lost ones, the troubled ones, the desperate ones. Now, I am free, and the world turns upside down again. They are thirsty for revenge, and nothing will stop them. No boundaries, no borders. They will come for me, but I am coming for them. Their empire of blood will fall, and will not rest until it all burns. [rock music plays] ♪ Don't let the storm ♪ ♪ Pass you by ♪ ♪ Don't let the storm ♪ ♪ Make you cry ♪ [singing continues, indistinct] - How you doin', hot stuff? - Livin' the dream. - How about yourself? - Peachy keen. I'm Alice. - What can I get ya? - Oh, I don't know. Let's say a big bowl of nachos and a Jim Beam neat? You betcha, dark and stormy. Oh, and Alice, tell Mr. Malvado that Seth Gecko's here to see him. [elevator bell dings] He's right over there, Mr. Malvado. Thank you, preciosa. I'll have my usual. On your feet. Oh! Whoa, whoa. Easy there, compadre. Should I take my shoes off, too? Clean as a whistle. Sit. [grunts] I thought Geckos traveled in pairs. Oh, right. I guess you didn't hear. Reunion tour got cancelled. Uh... creative differences. You got huevos de piedra coming up in here. [speaks Spanish] Can I just say how much I dig this place? You know, the whole Merle Haggard vibe goes real nice with the Thulsa Doom accents you got goin' on. Thank you. It's been a way station for a thousand years. A saloon when we were part of Mexico. Not like the Twister, though, huh? No, more, uh, truckers than desperadoes in here. People tryin' to make an honest buck, weary travelers just lookin' for a bucket of wings, maybe an ice-cold beer. You read the brochure. I'm glad somebody did. What's your point? My point, jefe, is that I doubt this place turns into a feeding' frenzy at midnight, am I right? This is a place of business. Every syndicate from Chicago to Tampico's gotta be skimmin' a little cream off the top for you and your boys. [ice rattles in drink] [Alice] Your Old Fashioned, Mr. Malvado. Anything else for you, handsome? Nah, I think I'm good, Alice. So where is Richard? How the hell should I know? Because hermanos know. I just came back from seeing my own brother for the first time in eons. Pobre pendejo thought he could hide from me. Was still the same filthy son of a bitch he always was, but I'd forgotten how strong that bond could be. Like we shared something crudo in the blood. Except I didn't come here to talk about Richard. Why did you come, Mr. Gecko? I came to make a deal. [theme music plays] [engine revving] You know, we have a word for what you're doing. We call it berrinche. That's what little babies do when they want their mother's milk. You had one job. Make it through a dinner and don't piss him off. He was saying stupid things. So you go and corner his girlfriend? - She's hiding something. - Oh, God. She doesn't fuckin' matter! Uncle Eddie has intel that we can use to penetrate Malvado's operation. Do you have any idea how much time that can save us? Of course not. You have absolutely no clue because you're such a freak about murdering this guy that you don't think. You just runnin' around lighting' things on fire like a little pyro kid who just found her first box of matches. And don't you ever tell me that I'm on a "borracho" or whatever. Thanks to you, instead of being this close to hitting our mark, we now have double the work. We need those plans! - So take them. - What? You're a thief. Steal them. - I'm not gonna do that. - Why? Because Eddie's like family. Eddie is family. The family you said you didn't need anymore? You don't take another man's gig. There's a code. Oh, there's a code. Right, there's a code. [Laughs] There's a code. The one your brother follows to the letter, correct? The one he's used his entire life to keep you under his thumb. I think it's time for you to make your own code, Richard. [tires screeching] I swear to God, if you hadn't of stepped in, I was going to smack her in the face. Seth, she's talking shit. And yet, she was pretty specific, wasn't she? Said you made a deal with someone? She's off her goddamn nut. Yeah, nobody knows that better than I do. Trust me. But I also know that she knows stuff about people. She's got a real gift for that. So, I'm gonna ask you. Once. What was she talking about? [inhales, exhales] Remember that little ditty I told you about looking for something new in Mexico? - Yeah, I remember not buying it. - I was running. His name's Clayton. Met him on the rodeo circuit in Waco. We were gonna swipe the main till at the stock show. Night before the show, he got good and drunk, he beat the shit out of me. Jitters, I guess. And the next day, we pulled the job. And when it came time to run, I left him holding' the bag in a tunnel with a six-pack of good ol' boys. - So that's who you did the deal with. - Yeah. - But how that bitch knew about it... - Forget it. - She's like the plague. - [laughs] The longer she's around, the more damage she does, which is why we're skipping this job. What are you, crazy? Come on, it's... because of her! Trust me, all right? She's bad for business. - I don't want it. - That's bullshit. - Okay, there's more to it. - Just stop. Nobody's doing this job, okay? Not even Uncle Eddie. [alarm sounds] [radio announcer] ... many consider Cezanne to be the bridge between Post-Impressionism and Cubism. In fact, both Matisse and Picasso called him "the father of us all." He was a remarkable innovator... [grunting] Little-known fact: Cezanne was rejected by the Paris Salon for 18 years. But he never gave up, until 1882, when they finally exhibited his 1866 "Portrait of Louis-Auguste Cezanne," the father of the artist, reading L'Évenement, his first and last successful submission. [Eddie] What the fuck you mean, it won't play? I'm telling you, it won't play. It won't play, or you won't play with your brother? Ah! Thought you guys were supposed to eat about it. Can you not yell, please? What, do I gotta sit you two punks down again - and talk about family values? - Eddie, I cannot work with him. And I will not work with that psycho girlfriend of his. - For Chrissake, she attacked Sonja. - So what? A couple broads, they get handsy with each other and you wanna call the whole goddamn thing off with all that money just sittin' there waitin' for us. Listen to me. It's not. These people that you're tryin' to rob, they're not just some banditos from down South. Okay? They're degenerate killers. Yeah, well, they ain't never met Eddie Cruickshank. [chuckles] Come on... When's the last time you pulled down a job? What the hell has that got to do with anything? Things are different now. - Different how? - They're just different. Is there something you're tryin' to tell me? I'm trying to help you. Help me? You been on the sidelines too long. It's time to hang up your wingtips. I know... Jesus Christ. Family. Who needs it? I'll go get myself a real crew. Somebody with balls. Hang up my wingtips... Anything? I think they're gone. Let's go. [door creaking] - [screams] - Kate! Thirsty... I can't heal if I don't drink. - What are you looking at? - The Peacekeeper. [creaking] - You need to stop Malvado. - How? - Los hermanos... - The Geckos? They can help you. It's prophecy. [slurping] Okay, okay, that's enough. - [door opens] - Did you hear that? [man] Anybody home? Ranger Gonzalez? You in there? Well, it's about goddamn time. I've been through hell and high water looking for you. Do me a favor, hon. You put that thing down, step on over here. - What are you doing here, Captain? - Shut your trap. Slide your firearm. This ain't a social call. Okay, okay. Take it easy. Now, where the hell are those bonds? I'm sorry, sir, what bonds? Oh, don't get fresh with me, boy. You see, we found Tony Mendoza's car, and his GPS was all jacked up. But hell if the techs still didn't still find that he was parked at your house the night he went missing. So I got curious. Turns out you borrowed four million dollars in bearer bonds from FBI Evidence. A federal offense, by the by. So where the hell are those bonds? Okay, wait, you think I killed Tony? And yet you come out here, all alone? You're damn straight I did. I endorsed your reinstatement, Ranger. That means you shit the bed and I gotta clean the sheets now. Thing is, sir, captains don't endorse reinstatements. - They don't? - Nope. I don't know who the hell you are, but you sure as shit ain't Chance Holbrook. [laughs] Well, you got me there. Déjà vu, Rinche? You son of a bitch. Holbrook was a good man. Ooh, are you sure about that? Because he was going to finger you for Tony's murder. [grunting] - Come on, come on... - Hey, hey! - I wouldn't do that, Kate. - Scott... Agh! Holy shit, you shot me! [grunting] Let's go! Come on! [grunting] - [pounding on door] - [Carlos] Open up, rinchesito! It's too late, Carlos. Your boss already took the key. It is useless without the map. Hand over the bonds, because I am not leaving without them. Well, then I guess you're not leaving. [loud grunt] [Carlos] Oh, Federico. You're not Buffy La Caza Vampiros! [loud pounding] You're the Tlacamelli Teplani. The Peacekeeper. Yeah, that's what people keep tellin' me. [grunting] [Carlos] Gonzalez... - ... you are a man of justice. - [groans] [Carlos] Yeah, a man like you understands. Oh, you understand that this santa sangre could keep culebras from preying on innocents. You understand what that means? Less exposure for us, and more peace for you. I'm starting to think peace is overrated. I'm starving. Why couldn't we stop to feed? Because we are here for a higher purpose! [shouting] [Richie] What the hell is he up to? I still don't feel right about this. You will, once you have the plans. Okay, remember, you just need to distract him while I switch out the cases. I've got it. Okay, Richard? Relax. [Eddie] So what is all this? I told you, I got about a hundred VHS tapes in here. From Fellini to Capra. - You want some or not? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put 'em over there somewhere. Tío Eduardo, I hear you make a great coffee. Well, as a matter of fact, I do, Miss... - Santanico. - Ah, Santanico Pandemonium. That's right, you told me. Santanico Pandemonium. - Would you care for a cup? - Please. - [coffee pouring] - [Eddie] Santanico. Where do I know that name from? [Santanico] Oh, I used to be in a famous show in Mexico. And now you wanna kill the CEO of the Browns. - Jesus, Eddie. - Take it easy. It ain't my lingo. Amancio Malvado, the head of the "Browns," as you call him, he deserves to die. Mm. Whatever you say, San... That's where I know you from. Jesus Christ, you... you got the same name as that chick in that famous Mexican horror flick. I even got a copy. You're gonna love it. What are you doin' over there? - What? - What are you doin'? Nothing, I'm just lookin', uh, lookin' for a place to put those tapes. - What's this? This ain't mine. - It's nothin'. You little shit, you were gonna switch the cases! All right, who are you, sweetheart? - [Richie] Eddie, put that down. - Shut up! Who are you? You come in here with your fancy lipstick and your fake name. - How do I know you don't work for those guys? - Eddie, just stop! - Shut the fuck up. - You don't. But let me tell you about when I was a little girl, and Amancio killed my whole family and took me out of my pueblo. Or the thousands of innocents he sacrificed, or the many, many years I was his slave. But at the end of the day, does it really matter? Because the only way for you to trust me is for you to believe that I want him dead as much as you want his money. So, what do you say, Eddie? I say you broke the code, kid. Oh, that fuck! Where's my shit? ! - Seth took it. - He what? - I knew he was up to somethin'. - And I can tell you where, - but I want in on the job. - What is this, a potluck? ! Eddie, look, okay? I know you're pissed, and you have every right to be. I messed up. Gimme a chance to make this right. Larry, Larry. Lawrence. Come on, man. You gotta stop taking things so personally. - You put my partner in traction. - That was all business. That's my beautifully restored Cutlass 442 you're driving. Okay, that was pleasure. But... now, here I am, offering you the payday of a lifetime as a gesture of good faith. And trust me, you do not find plays like this for sale. All you need to do is find yourself a crew. Then you can buy yourself a whole factory of Cutlasses, like that. [Snaps] Huh? - Okay, sold. - Okay. - Where is it, Seth? - Sorry, Richard. Larry here just bought himself a 33 million dollar payday. Take it easy, pal. - I'm warnin' you. - Ah! [exhales] - [growling] - What the hell, man? - [roaring] - Ah! What the hell is your problem? Ah! This job is the old man's dream. You're just usin' him to keep your bitch happy. [grunting] So that's why you hate culebras so much. It's not because you're scared we're gonna eat you, - it's because of her. - Bingo. Ah! [Malvado] Could it be that this sacred bond between brothers has finally snapped? Where do you think I got this? I believe it, you know. In fact, this brother I visited, Celestino, he was a real hijo de una puta. I remember the day that I finally accepted it. But I hated him for so much of my life. It was like a dam broke inside of me, releasing a torrent of hatred. Was that the same dam that released the torrent of bullshit that's comin' out of your mouth right now? Do me a favor, tough guy, okay? Don't tell me this is about some epic clash between two brothers. This is about you and your needs. Cut to the chase, Gecko, or this will become a feeding ground. I used to think that she was just a dancing girl. But now, now I get it. She's your queen. That's why I'm gonna bring her back to you. Your headliner. I'm gonna bring you back Santanico Pandemonium. Kate, help me move this rack. Come on! Come on, let's go! We gotta get out of here! - [Carlos] Gonzalez! - Ready? One, two, three. [grunting] I am trying to be civil here! - [pounding] - You know, maybe... - Maybe he's not wrong. - About what? About the blood well not being such a bad idea. It could keep the culebras from killing. You don't seriously believe anything he says, do you? No, I've been trying to find a way for Scott to feed without killing ever since Mexico. This could be his second chance. What about those kids he killed? Do they get a second chance? [Carlos] Give me the goddamn bonds! [pounding] Come on! I'm coming, my little piggies! And I'm gonna make myself some chicharron de rinche! Let's go! Go get 'em, cabrón! [sniffs] [sniffs] [Scott] Kate! Get back here! They're too weak and hungry, they can't follow us. Come on! Stop! What are you doin'? Give me the bonds. You're not gonna shoot. Look, I know it's hard to let family go. Just give me the bonds, or I swear to God the next one goes in your kneecap. Now, cuff yourself to the truck and throw me the keys. Do it. - You're making a huge mistake. - No. I am making up for one. [slurping] [cracking sound] [grunts, gasps] Scott? Scott. Oh! [groans] Boy, if Dad could see you now. I am doing what he asked me to do. I'm trying to help you. I know you want the bonds. - I can give them to you. - And why would you do that? Were you not listening? That blood could satisfy your need to kill. And what if I like to kill? Do you? Look, what's the catch? You let Freddie go. And I get to come with you and help you through this. Are you out of your mind? You seriously trust that Carlos won't just eat you the first chance he gets? I don't trust him. I trust you. I know you'll protect me, Scott. [rock music plays] [Eddie] How did you get Seth to give you the plans, anyway? [Richie] Let's just say I convinced him. [exhales] It's a little fancy, don't you think? I'm workin'. [Richie sighs] Hey, listen. I'm sorry I had to twist your arm about all this. What, are you kiddin'? I'm back! But if you ever try anything like that again, I'll kill ya. [rock music plays] ♪ Well, I'm a dirty dog, baby ♪ ♪ Won't you come and mess around with me? ♪ ♪ I'm a dirty dog, baby, won't you come and set me free? ♪ ♪ I been barking at my baby to come on up ♪ ♪ Why must you make me cry like a lonesome pup ♪ ♪ I'm a dirty dog, baby, won't you come on home to me? ♪ ♪ Well, I woke up, baby I love you so ♪ ♪ Well, I woke up, baby Long time ago ♪ ♪ I've been hounding at my baby to come home with me ♪ ♪ She says I'm barking up the wrong tree ♪ ♪ Well, I'm a dirty dog, baby, won't you come on home with me ♪ Come on! Listen! - Can I help you, my friend? - Yeah... I just got all "discombooberated." I was lookin' for the loo. - Back this way, abuelo. - Ah. [Richie] I counted 18 employees. [Eddie] Plus seven more at the repair shop. That's gotta be where they unload the loot. Knowin' this outfit, they stash everything underground. That explains the elevator with the down button back by the kitchen. - It's a tango. - In and out with a truck. - You wanna Jim Brown the place? - I'm thinkin' more Fred Williamson. You always could plan a job, kid. [laughs] Yeah, you mean, whenever Seth would let me. Bought you a souvenir. Aw, shucks. It's everything I ever wanted. Everybody needs their Shangri-La, kid. - You ever see that YouTube video? - YouTube? - What, are you watching YouTube now? - Yes, I am. And they got this one, shows this dog, he runs right out in traffic, right out in the middle of the freeway, cars and trucks comin' from every angle, just to save the other dog's life. Okay, YouTube is a masturbatory wormhole. The point of the story is he does whatever it takes to save his pal. Like nothin' else in the world matters. Nothin'. Whatever happened to that Seth and Richie? [phone vibrating] You know he's not going to answer, right? He knows you betrayed him. I'll talk some sense into him, all right? Show him we can all do this. You really think you can live happily ever after with him, don't you? I can sure as hell try. [phone beeps] - [Seth] Yeah. - Seth? ! Seth. - Hey, listen to me. - It's okay. I know why you did it. Just meet me back at Uncle Eddie's. Okay, you got it. Finally. Lucy, I'm home. - How did you find this place? - Oh, you didn't know? Richie gets chatty in car rides. First him, now my Uncle Eddie? What the fuck is it with you? Why do you keep messing with my family? I think they call it destiny. Then I guess you had this coming. - What the hell's this? - Are you kidding me? - I will fucking kill you! - Hey, guys. Hey! Goddamn it! Knock it off! Get over there! Get over there! First one to move, I swear to God I'll knock you on your ass. You... You guys are unbelievable, you know that? I've been lookin' for a job like this for years. And you two punks show up outta nowhere and run roughshod all over it with all this "get outta my sandbox" bullshit? You know what you're like? You're like... those lab rats. You know, the lab rats that push the button for the candy, they just keep pushin' again and again. They don't give a shit about anybody or anything! This job is my swan song, my masterpiece. And once I pull this off, I can sit around in my soft pants and watch my stories, think about that perfect caper that we that we pulled off. So Seth, you either stand behind me, or you get the hell out of my way. And Richard, you either tell me right now what's got your brother so riled up, or I end this goddamn thing right now! Tell him. Tell him, or I'll show him. - Show him what? - [Richie sighs] She's a... a... What she means is that she's not a... Say goodbye, Reina! You're goin' home! [grunts] Ah! [roaring] What the... ? So that's what you were tryin' to tell me. That's not all. [roaring] [grunting] Oh, this is some serious B-movie shit. [gagging] [gun clicking] Ah! [Groans] - [Eddie shouts] - What the hell are you doing? Gotta take care of this son of a bitch old school! - Come on, you bastard! - Eddie! Ahh! [grunts] - [Richie] Whoa! - [Seth] Hang on, Eddie, we're gonna... - We're gonna get you help. - Hey, Eddie, don't move. Just look at me, man. Maybe I should've listened to you, Seth, and done it the way you said. Come on, don't talk like that. - We're gonna get you help. - Seth. Seth, I can save him. - No. - He was right. This world ain't the same no more. [laughs weakly] I don't even know what that was. Hey... hey. I thought I could handle anything you two punks throw at me. But I ca... I can't dance on this dance floor no more. You were right, Seth. Time for me to hang up my wingtips. [sobbing] No. You two knuckleheads, you gotta promise me... You gotta take care of each other. [exhales softly] To Eddie Cruickshank. Uncle Eddie. Rest in peace. [sighs] - Richard, say something. - What do you want me to say? I don't know. Something, anything. He never got his Shangri-La. Son of a bitch would never admit it, but we had more in common than he knew. You know, from the moment he took us in, all I ever cared about was making sure he didn't regret it. Man, did I screw that up. I should've been straight with him. I should've stood by him. And we should've remembered the code that he taught us, 'cause without that code, we'd be... long gone right now. Amen. Which is why we're gonna do this job. For Uncle Eddie. We're gonna kill the son of a bitch who did this. And then we're gonna rob him blind. Yeah, well, first things first. - What? - We're gonna do this... we get it all on the table. Full disclosure. You can't be a part of this crew unless you know everything. Go ahead, you two. Show her what you really are. - What? ! [gasps] - [roaring] [people screaming] - [moans] - [screaming continues] [panting] [Scott] Boss... What are you doing? Getting a taste for what's coming. Okay, I got the bonds, but she's coming with us. [chuckles] Perfect timing. You're about to see the rise of a new Lord. Go ahead, kid, knock yourself out. You deserve it. - I'm sorry, I... - It's not your fault. I don't know how he found me. I thought I had lost him, but maybe Malvado can sense me getting closer. Wait, he can sense you? He's a Lord, Richard. He made me. So he can get inside your head, like you do to me? Worse. Well, can he sense other culebras? - Can he sense me? - I don't know. I thought I knew what Malvado could do, but I guess I'm not so sure. Well, I guess we're gonna have to find out. [Malvado] Of course. Why didn't I see it? After all these years, only la diosa could come between you. - [speaks Spanish] - I don't speak Spanish. She's the sweetest kind of poison, the kind you crave. She's the reason that my uncle is dead. True, and yet you, me, Carlos, Richard, we're all fools for her. No. I may be a selfish, backstabbing piece of shit, but I don't dig on your snake princess. I do, however, recognize her value. I want ten million cash and a guarantee that you and your culebra cronies will never bother me or my girl ever again. How do I know you even have her? Figured you'd ask. [Whistles] Give it to me. [inhales deeply] Your brother must be furious. Oh, I wouldn't worry about him. He's just whipped. Don't I know you somehow? I don't think so. [snaps] Go wait by the door. So we have a deal? You cross me, and I will skin you and your girlfriend alive and make myself a brand-new pair of calzones. - Whatever those are. - [man] One, two, three, four! [rock music plays] - He bought it. - Yes, he did. More importantly, he had no idea it was you. Yeah, but was all that really necessary? I am not whipped. It's all part of the play, Richard. - Not my play. - No. Uncle Eddie's play. [upbeat music] [applause] Welcome back. Today we are doing a very special show, "Foxy at 50... and Beyond." - Welcome, guys. - [applause] So, Dr. Jane, you have a hot new book out there titled, "When I Grow Up I Want to be a JILF." It's GILF, Donny. As in grandmother I'd like to f... - Uh... - A GILF. - Right. - [laughter] Today, 50 is an entirely new landscape. Science is changing the way women age. This next generation of women will all be GILFs. [applause] All right. All right. Calm down out there. Okay, so, Kiara, what're the kind of things that you might do now that you wouldn't have done in your 30s? Well, for me, I didn't even know what good sex was until I turned 50. (MURPHY SCREAMING) ANDERSON: Where did you learn that? My father was a doctor. Bridger! FITZGERALD: Captain, we got a swarm of tree niggers out here waiting to finish the job. Tell me you got some kind of plan. Glass? Missouri's no good. Not while the Ree's running it. We got to get off this boat. Oh, you want to get off the boat? Then what do we do, huh? Take our furs and sit out there amongst the Ree like a bunch of ducks? Only safe thing to do is track a new course back up on land. That'll add weeks to the trip. Better than floating where they can get eyes on us. They got eyes on you right now, son. What I'm saying is we stay on the boat. Chart a course toward the fort and take our chances on the water. Glass knows this territory best. It's his job to get us home safe. Get us home safe? Yeah. FITZGERALD: Need I remind you we already lost 32 men? It's 33 now. They were my men, Fitzgerald. I know how many I lost. We do like Glass says. That's the end of it. GLASS: We have to set the boat loose. If the Ree are tracking us, they'll find it downriver. Best course is to hike inland to the Grand and follow it to Fort Kiowa. ANDERSON: On foot? It'll be winter before we get there. Yeah, unless we come across a post, trade for some horses. Ain't no posts that far over! Captain, losing this boat is a goddamn mistake. The Ree ain't that stupid. We keep it, we can lay it up around Arrow's Peak. Quit acting like you know what you're talking about. Ain't nobody talking to you. Who'd listen to you anyway? Can't find your way out of your breeches to take a shit. All I'm saying is Camp Rhulen is just up the way. We can hole up there. We walk. Yeah, I'm sure we will. Wish my dad was a doctor. Then he could've bought me a captain's job. What do we do, eh? Pray these pelts ain't rotten if we ever get back here? HENRY: Make sure to mark this place. We're leaving a fortune under these rocks. Glass, chart a course. Tightest you can that gets us around the Ree. FITZGERALD: This ain't right. We all know these furs ain't gonna be here by the time we come back. There's no way we can haul them all the way to the fort. Arikara are all through the territory. We'll want our hands free. We're gonna lose those pelts. You rather keep the pelts or your life? Life? What life you talking about? I ain't got no life. I just got living and the only way I get that is through these pelts. Fuck! Ain't no way I'm going home after six months working my ass off like a mule risking my neck, men dying, and for what? Damn near lost everything. Job's been fucked from the start! There's the one been fucking us. You wonder how the Ree got the dead drop on us when Mr. Glass was supposed to look out for that very thing? All them Pawnee buddies of his. Pawnee's as much against the Ree as the rest of us. Yeah? Well, what about his little half-breed son? What kind of savage you think his mama was? Oh, lay off the boy, Fitz. All I'm saying is a savage...is savage. Hey, Glass is it true what they say about you shooting a lieutenant while living with them savages? Twenty-one dead soldiers and 40 dead feathernecks. But you and your boy the only ones to walk out alive. Kind of a miracle. HENRY: Shut up, Fitzgerald. FITZGERALD: Is that what you did? Shot one of your own to save this little dog here? Why? Was he playing with this little boy's mama, huh? Did he kill her? Hey, you can quit polishing that rifle when I'm talking to you. I'm working on it. You can work on it when I'm done talking to you. Look at me. HENRY: That's enough! You're forgetting your place, boy. As far as I can tell, my place is here on the smart end of this rifle. HENRY: You move along, Fitzgerald. That's an order! Listen! There's only a couple hours of light left. We got to stash these pelts and get rid of the boat. Let's go! (ALL AGREEING) (SPEAKING PAWNEE) (GRUNTS) HENRY: Beckett! Weston! JONES: Why are they not jumping? STUBBY BILL: It looks like they changed their minds. FITZGERALD: Smart sumbitches. Smart. (GRUNTS) I ought to be on that boat. They did the right thing. (MEN LAUGHING) (BOTH SPEAKING PAWNEE) (WARRIOR 1 SPEAKING ARIKARA) (ELK DOG SPEAKING ARIKARA) (WARRIOR 1 SPEAKING ARIKARA) (ELK DOG SPEAKING ARIKARA) (THUNDER RUMBLING) HENRY: Was it the right decision? Leaving the boat? The Ree own that river. They would've flanked us. We stay east of the Grand through the mountains, we cut a week off our trip. Lands are bone dry up there. Nothing for the Ree to hunt. HENRY: Except us. GLASS: Except us. Is it true what Fitzgerald said? Is that why you came out here to the edge of the world? Glass? I do like the quiet. Your boy he's seen a lot. He got a mother you need to get him back to? (FITZGERALD BREATHING HEAVILY) (CUTTING HAIR) (RUSTLING) (COCKS GUN) (BEAR BELLOWING) (BEAR SNORTING) (YELLS) (GROANING) (SCREAMING) (BELLOWING) (GROANING) (GLASS PANTING) (STRAINING) (FLIES BUZZING) (GRUNTS) (PANTING) (GRUNTING) (CHOKING) (SCREAMING) (BELLOWS) (GRUNTING) (CUB BELLOWING) (HAWK YELLING) JIM: Mr. Glass! There are cubs here! We got cubs here! Christ Almighty. He's down here! ANDERSON: Keep your eyes open. There's bears around. I need your help now! HENRY: Oh, my God. (GLASS WHEEZING) Get me rags now! Give me rags before he bleeds out. Rags. Prepare the kit. Bridger! You hold that. (GRUNTING) Easy. Oh, my God. ANDERSON: Got to give him credit for taking that grizz down with him. He shouldn't have shot. The place is crawling with tree niggers. HENRY: That's enough! That's enough! We're still in Ree territory. He's one of our own men. (CONTINUES WHEEZING) Scout a circle around us. North and west. Take those two with you. Bill, Fryman, you take south and east. Watch for anyone that might've heard that shot. We have to stitch him up. What about me? Captain? You just stay here. Hold it down. JIM: I'm so sorry, Mr. Glass. HENRY: Bridger, press down here. He's bleeding down here, too. (SCREAMING) ANDERSON: They're torturing the bastard. The proper thing to do would be to finish him off quick. Unless he has a chance of pulling through. (SCOFFS) Pulling through? You saw what that grizz did to him. He'll be dead inside an hour. Mmm-hmm. Yeah, we all will be if he don't quit wailing like that. Toward you and twist it into place. I'll hold him. Go. Pa. Hold him. Go. Go! Now! He passed out. I'll take advantage and stitch up his neck. Water. Bridger, tell the others we'll camp here tonight. (SPEAKING PAWNEE) (MEN LAUGHING) (MEN SPEAKING FRENCH) HENRY: I want everybody up at the crack of dawn. Carrying Glass will be hard so we need to get ahead as far as possible. We'll divide into two groups. Fitzgerald, Jones, Fryman, you take the east side of the river. Anderson, you scout up front. That claw don't belong to you. It ain't for me. (WHEEZING) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) (MEN ARGUING) Stop! (HAWK SPEAKING PAWNEE) (COUGHING) HENRY: Don't let him down! Don't let him down! ANDERSON: Watch it. JONES: How we gonna make it up this? FITZGERALD: Slow down. ANDERSON: It's killing us, Captain! (ALL GRUNTING) HENRY: Lift it, Bridger! FITZGERALD: Goddamn it, keep it steady. JIM: Lift it up higher. HAWK: I am. HENRY: And heave! (ALL GROAN) JONES: I'll go up and pull. (ALL GRUNTING) (ALL EXCLAIM) My foot! Enough of this shit! We'll never make it across like this, Captain. He's burning up. (COUGHING) (ALL PANTING) Cap'n, you ain't doing us nor him no favors by letting him go on suffering like this. Captain, it's all the same up here. We're gonna have to go back. Find another way. (GLASS WHEEZING) Glass. Hugh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Lay that rag over his eyes, Mr. Bridger. HAWK: What? HENRY: Lay the rag over his eyes. HAWK: Wait! HENRY: I'm sorry, Hugh. JIM: Sir, I can't do that. HAWK: How do we get back without him? Only he knows the way. HENRY: Lay the rag over his eyes. JIM: I can't. Wait! How do we get back-- (SPEAKING PAWNEE) HENRY: Lay it over his eyes! Step back. HAWK: Bridger, stop! Bridger, Henry. Henry! Henry, please. Captain. Captain. Please. Please leave-- (HAWK SPEAKING PAWNEE) (GLASS CONTINUES WHEEZING) There's a $70 bonus from the Rocky Mountain Fur Company to the two men that stay with Glass to see this through. HAWK: I'll stay! Me, too. Money or not, I'll stay. I'll need a third. Sorry, Captain. I have a family. I'm not crazy. Captain, three men can't hold off a party of Ree, much less some boys. Besides, $70 ain't gonna buy nobody a new set of ears. A hundred, then. This man is the only reason we're still alive. We were 45 men when this started. Now we're ten. Almost nine. HAWK: He's my father. He can have my share. JIM: Mine, too. He can have my share also. All right. If Mr. Bridger feels the same way, I'll lag behind with them. You? Yep. You already lost my share of the pelts so I got no choice but to make it up by some other means. Sticking around for another day or two don't make no difference. $300...at least I get to go home with something. Glass is to be cared for until, understood? Yeah. You have my word. I understand. HENRY: You boys get him down off this slope and somewhere safe before dark. Fitzgerald. Glass is to be cared for as long as necessary. And a proper burial when it's time. He's earned it. I understand. You hurt yourself? ANDERSON: I'll be fine. (HAWK SPEAKING PAWNEE) (SPEAKING PAWNEE) (GLASS SPEAKING PAWNEE) (GLASS'S WIFE SPEAKING PAWNEE) (GUNSHOT) (BREATHING HEAVILY) (GRUNTING) FITZGERALD: Threehundredbucks goesa longway towardretirement. Godownto Texas,findme adecentpieceofland , andstartpissing inthewind. Get me the hell out of this godforsaken place. (JIM SCRAPING FLASK) Ree done that to you? I'm just asking. Yeah, they done it. They took their sweet time with it. At the start, I didn't feel nothing. I just heard the sound of the knife scraping against my skull and them all laughing and whooping and hollering and whatnot. Then the blood came. It was cold. It started streaming down my face, in my eyes, and breathing it in. Choking on it. That's when I felt it. Yeah, felt all of it. I got my head turned inside out. JIM: Jesus. Them Indians down Texas way they may rob you, but they ain't gonna take your topknot. JIM: When was it? Goddamn it, will you quit that noise now, will you? Quit it. FITZGERALD: I'mfallingfurtherback fromHenryandthe boys onaccountof tendingtoyou. Got to get up the damn mountain, but winter keeps chasing us down. If you ready to take the sacrament I can do that for you. What you holding to, Glass? You know it would be better if you were to take that last breath of yours now... for all of us. Now you hung tough. And that's something. I'm begging you. Them Ree are so close I can smell 'em. You can smell 'em, too. You got to think of your boy. All right? 'Cause you're gonna kill him. You'll kill us all. (MUTTERING) I can muzzle you if you like. Take away this suffering quick and easy. No one ever has to know that you give up. All you have to do is blink if you want me to do that. (GRUNTING SOFTLY) Save your boy and blink. You just have to blink. Yeah. There it is. You'd best hope the good Lord'll get His ass here quick, huh? Maybe He'll forgive your sins, maybe not. Thus I do commend thee to the Lord. (CHOKING) Through Jesus Christ the Lord of all reality and mercy and the Father and the Creator, I hold thee-- Get away! Get away! You okay? Jim! Jim! Help! Help! Calm down. Jim! Help! Don't shout! You're gonna get us all killed! Keep away! I'll tell the Captain what you did. They'll hang you! They'll hang you! Jim, help! We have an understanding. What's fucking wrong with you people? (MUFFLED SCREAMING) Shit. (GLASS CONTINUES MUFFLED SCREAMING) (CONTINUES MUFFLED SCREAMING) JIM: I got one beaver, Hawk. Breathing changed? I hadn't noticed. Damn, he's cold as ice. Here you go, Mr. Glass. This will help you. Keep you warm. It's all right. Where's Hawk? He ain't with you? No. No? (GLASS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) I understand, Mr. Glass. It's all right. I think I'll get a fire going. FITZGERALD: Yeah. Sounds like a good idea. (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) JIM: Hawk! Hawk! Shh. Ree. There's about 20 of them down by the creek. They're headed this way. Grab your shit and let's go. Shit. What do we do? Run, right now. What about Hawk? He ain't our problem no more. We can't just leave him. Either he's gutted or scalped. And if he ain't he can find us, can't he? What about Glass? He ain't our problem. Like us, he's on his own. We made a promise to the Captain. A proper burial when the time was needed. He needs that rifle! He couldn't do nothing with it if you tarred it to his hand. We can't do this. We got no fucking choice. No, we can't. Look at him. All right, shit, then, buddy. Get him up. You want to take him? (GLASS GROANING) Come on now! Easy. Slowly, Fitz. Easy with him. (JIM GROANS) Just get your shit. Get your shit! (GLASS SCREAMING) Shut up. Shut up! JIM: Hold up! (GLASS GROANING) Fitz. What are you doing? What does it look like? Proper burial. Like you wanted. No, not like this. Why not? He's alive, Fitz. He's alive. So shoot him. (GLASS SHOUTING) I have to go. I have to go. I'm sorry, Mr. Glass. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. (PROTESTING INDISTINCTLY) (WHEEZING) (JIM GROANS) Captain! This way! There's a path down here! ANDERSON: There ain't shit down there! We got to climb over! JONES: Glass said to stay east! ANDERSON: Glass can go to hell! HENRY: What's the map say? Keep climbing. We climb, Captain. We keep climbing. Till we reach Old Gabe. We climb. We got to wait for Murph. Yeah. You wait for him. Captain? Sir Murphy says there's a way down there. Who we following? ANDERSON: You follow who you want! I'm going up! Stubby, keep going up! JONES: Murph! Come here! (MUFFLED GRUNTING) (PANTING) (SCREAMS) (WHEEZING) (GRUNTING LOUDLY) (GASPING) (GRUNTING) (PANTING) (GRUNTING) (SPEAKING PAWNEE) FITZGERALD: Fire's done. I can't even feel my feet. Didn't we put enough distance between us and them Ree? A dozen Ree can make twice as good time as we can. Twenty. What? You said you saw twenty Ree. Yeah? What you talking about? You woke me up. Mmm-hmm. You said you saw twenty Ree by the creek. Well, yeah, twenty, a dozen, it don't matter. I wasn't gonna hang around counting fucking feathers. As a matter of fact what was you doing down by the creek all by yourself? I'd already brought up plenty of water. Hey! Answer me, Fitzgerald. I asked you a question. Don't question me on account of you feel guilty. Answer me or I'll blow your head off. You got a short-term memory, boy. Your ass would be floating around the Missouri right now if it wasn't for me. You want to ask questions? What you want to ask? If you want to know, ask it. Hmm? You want to know why you left Mr. Glass back there for dead, huh? Or why you left your little boyfriend running around? You want to know if he's still alive? I'll tell you why. It's 'cause you ain't a man yet. It's 'cause you was scared shitless. You're scared now. The Ree. What of them? Tell me, did you see 'em? Put your rifle down. Did you see the Ree? No. Not a single one. You fucking lied to me? You lied to me! (COUGHS) (GASPS) I had to scare some sense into you, boy. Glass was dead. Hawk we don't know about. No point in either of us dying either, you understand? The way I see it, I saved your life twice now. I ought to be God to you. And God giveth... and God taketh away. (GUN CLICKS) (GASPS) Lucky fucker. Next time you want to shoot somebody you might want to use powder, prime your rifle. Come on. Let's git. Grab your shit. (SNIFFLES) (GRUNTS) (BREATHING HEAVILY) (GLASS GRUNTING) (SNIFFS) (SPEAKING ARIKARA) (GRUNTING) (PANTING) (COUGHING) (COUGHS) (SCREAMING) (ALL PANTING) (GLASS SNORING) (GROANS) (HORSES APPROACHING) (HORSES WHINNYING) (GRUNTING) (BREATHING HEAVILY) (MEN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY) (ARIKARA WARRIOR SHOUTING) (GRUNTING) (GASPING) (YELPS) (GASPING) (GRUNTING) (GROANS) (PANTING) (BLOWING) Who did this? I don't know. Could be Captain Leavenworth's boys. Mmm. Yeah. Put some eyes on the back of your head. (SNIFFLES) These Injuns ain't never as dead as you think they are. Look at 'em, huh? They're always stealing our shit. (GRUNTS) (SNORTS) (SNIFFING) (GASPS) FITZGERALD: We got horses over here! Hey, Bridger. We got horses! JIM: What you want to do about these pigs? FITZGERALD: The Lord's on our side, kid. FITZGERALD: You all right there, kid? Your head in the right place? I guess. I can't help thinking about whether we did the right-- Ain't our place to wonder. The good Lord got us on a road whether we choose it or not. My pop, he weren't a religious man, you know? If you couldn't grow it, kill it, or eat it, he just plain old didn't believe in it. And this one time he head on up the old Saba hills. San Saba hills? He joined a couple Texas Ranger buddies of his to hunt. Pretty routine. He done it like a hundred times before. Should have been a 3-day kill, but on the second day, it all went fucked. Somehow that night he lost his buddies. And to top it off them Comanches went and took the horses. So he was starving and delirious and he crawls up into this mott, this group of trees out in the middle of nowhere just sticking up in this ocean of scrub and he found religion. At that moment, he told me he found God. Uh-huh. And it turns out that God He's a squirrel. Yeah. A big, old meaty one. "I found God," he used to say. "And while sitting there and basking in the glory "and sublimity of mercy..." "... I shot and ate that son of a bitch." Mmm. Yeah. You might want to close your eyes, kid. (GRUNTING) (PANTING) (BREATHING HEAVILY) (GASPING) (GROANING) (GRUNTS) (BISON GALLOPING) (PANTING) (WOLVES BARKING) (BISON BELLOWING) (CONTINUES PANTING) (SNORING) (WOLVES HOWLING) (MAN SHOUTING IN PAWNEE) (MAN CONTINUES SHOUTING) (PANTING) (GLASS SPEAKING PAWNEE) (GRUNTING) (SPEAKING PAWNEE) (GRUNTS) (RETCHING) (SIGHS) (BOTH SPEAKING PAWNEE) Grizzly. Grizzly. (HORSE WHINNIES) (GROANS) (HIKUC SPEAKING PAWNEE) (HORSE NEIGHS) FITZGERALD: Yeah! There she is. We did it. You ought to be proud of yourself, boy. Yeah. We followed orders. We just skipped the funeral part. Don't go down there and start growing no conscience. 'Cause sure as night'll come they'll have us swinging from a couple ropes. We did what we had to do. (JIM URGES HORSE) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) (ALL SHOUTING EXCITEDLY) FITZGERALD: We had the extra daysowe managedtodig a little deeper, lay rocks on top so scavengers couldn't get at him. It was done right and all. He was buried right. Sir, can we-- The truth is that... (CLEARS THROAT) ...when Hawk disappeared, I was worried about savages. And I was ready to get, to move on out. Yeah, but, Bridger here argued to stay. He argued to stay so he could at least build a cross or something to put on top of Glass's grave, and that's what he did. That's what we did. I'm glad you pulled your weight, Mr. Bridger. He more than pulled his weight, Captain. This man here, he was my partner. Am I to assume that the agreed arrangement did not change? Uh, fortunately for me, it did not. HENRY: Mmm-hmm. (CEILING CREAKING) Thank you for your courage, honor, and service. Deal or no deal, Mr. Bridger, you deserve something for what you did. Thank you. (DOOR CLOSES) Kid's been beating himself up awful bad the whole trip. We all saw the shape Glass was in. There was no more to be done. Right? FITZGERALD: Yeah. We all saw him. (DOOR CLOSES) (EXHALES SHAKILY) (LAUGHS) (LAUGHING) (GLASS GROANING) (GRUNTING) (GRUNTS) (GLASS'S WIFE SPEAKING PAWNEE) (WHEEZING) (CRICKETS CHIRPING) (GLASS GRUNTING) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) (HORSES WHINNYING) (MEN LAUGHING) (MEN CHATTERING IN FRENCH) (ALL LAUGHING) (SCOUT SHOUTING IN ARIKARA) (BOTH SPEAKING ARIKARA) (TRAPPERS SINGING IN FRENCH) (ALL LAUGHING) (SPEAKS FRENCH) (TRAPPERS LAUGHING) (HORSE NEIGHS) (POWAQA STRUGGLING) (TOUSSAINT SPEAKS FRENCH) (POWAQA BEGGING INDISTINCTLY) (POWAQA SCREAMS) (MOANING) (POWAQA CRYING) (TOUSSAINT GRUNTING PLEASURABLY) (MUFFLED SCREAMING) Shh... Don't make a sound. (SPEAKING PAWNEE) (POWAQA SPEAKING ARIKARA) (TRAPPERS SPEAKING FRENCH) (TRAPPERS SCREAMING) (TRAPPERS SHOUTING IN FRENCH) (PLAYING UPBEAT FOLK MUSIC) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) (BOTH LAUGHING) FITZGERALD: May I join you? HENRY: Yes. Yeah? Yes. I was wondering when we might be getting paid for that haul. 'Cause them pelts we collected are still out there, you know under a couple foot of dirt and snow. But that ain't my fault. I'm waiting for Captain Leavenworth to arrive with his army. Then we'll have enough men to shoot some civilization into those fucking Arikara and get back our pelts. All right. All right. When's that supposed to happen? I don't know. But until then, nobody gets paid. Listen here, all right? I was hired to trap 'em. I wasn't hired to guard 'em. The way I see it, now you, you got a safe. It's probably full of money. You signed a contract to protect your boss and your boss's property. And that safe isn't full anymore. It's short about $300. What the hell is that supposed to mean? It means, according to my records you purchased more goods on the expedition than what you are owed by the company. Now, Happy New Year, Fitzgerald. (UPBEAT FOLK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) (HORSE WHINNYING) (HORSES WHINNYING) (GASPS) (PANTING) (URGES HORSE) (ARIKARA WARRIORS WHOOPING) (PANTING) (YELLING) (SCREAMING) (GROANING) (GRUNTING) (SIGHING) (GRUNTING) (SIGHS) GUARD: Fryman! White man at the gate! (SPEAKING FRENCH) Speak English. I have no weapon. (SPEAKING FRENCH) Open her up! Get the Captain! HENRY: Where are your men? All dead. Who was he? I don't know. Something to eat, please? Food comes at a price. I have no money. Then you don't eat. Give back some of them stolen pelts you buy from the Injuns. Not now, Jones. Huh? Silver. How is this? Silver. This all you got? We was nine. My friend, he die in the snow. And the other was kill by wolf. I see it. By wolf, yeah, kill. Where'd you get this? Canteen. He drop it. He kill Toussaint, he drop it-- Who? Who? I don't know. I don't see. It could be Hawk. Yeah, could be. JONES: That half-breed runt couldn't steal no horse. Maybe it was Weston. STUBBY BILL: Or Beckett. How far from here? (STAMMERS) Thirty mile. Northwest, near the Yellowstone. The Yellowstone! Get the horses saddled. Torches and supplies. Ten dollars a man. Anderson, you stay here. ANDERSON: Yes, sir. Feed him and watch him. I'll get you a drink. (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) HENRY: When we get to the Yellowstone, we split into two groups! HENRY: Hawk! JIM: Hawk, you out there? (GUNSHOT) Whoa! Whoa! (HORSES WHINNYING) HENRY: Keep your guard up! Eyes in front! Who are you? FRYMAN: Beckett? Is that you? (MEN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY) HENRY: Glass? Glass! Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ, what happened? Where is he? (WHEEZING) HENRY: Jones, take him. Go. I'm riding ahead. Bill, take Bridger. Take Bridger! Have you seen Fitzgerald? No, sir. Get up. Get up! You seen Fitzgerald? No, sir. Fitzgerald? Whoa, easy. Where did he go? Who? Fitzgerald. Where did he go? I have no idea. Tell me or I'll take your head off. I swear to God-- (GROANS) Tell me. Tell me! Texas! He said he was going to Texas. He said he was gonna reenlist. Then he started talking about property. "A decent piece of land." One. One of the same people. Oh, one. So one's okay. We just let off one nuke at the Super Bowl. Oh, so now you want to micromanage something that you didn't even want to be involved in. I don't want to manage it, but don't you think we could maybe find someone competent who could? Okay, whatever it is, I don't need to know. I'll tell you what's going on. Jonah saw Moyes earlier today and Dan and Amy have, too. And now Moyes is onto us. Why did you just tell me that? This is so much worse for me. I was the field agent who gave Dan and Amy the mission. I was the messenger. I could be shot. This isn't about you, Gary. Jesus, nothing here is ever about you. I didn't hear any of this 'cause I have a really bad case of tinnitus, especially when discussing morally dubious things. So it's kind of like sinnitus. But I'm implicated. I'm the linchpin. - I could go to jail! - Shut up! No, you shut up. You shut up. And I will also shut up first. Sue! Sue, I need to see the president. She's in with the joint chiefs, Gary. Is it that important? Listen, Sue, I'm involved with some stuff here. Scary stuff like take it to your grave kind of stuff. And that's the... that's the way I like it. Okay, well, she'll be out in five. Can it wait? Yeah, no problem. No problem. What if he checks our cover story? Like, what if he informs Congress? Dan, he's a congressman. Congressmen never do anything they say they're gonna do. How are you not freaking out about this? I'm kind of having fun. I like having a cover story. Makes me feel like a Charlie's Angel. God, it was a rush! Yeah, but you're a control freak and this whole thing is out of control, so why aren't you freaking? Relax. I'm finally having fun. Let me. Jesus, you know, I always thought the old Amy was kind of an uptight bitch, but now I sort of miss her. You know, if I was uptight, I'd be offended by that. In fact, I am offended. You shouldn't call people bitches. You shouldn't do that anymore. Unless it's like "bitch" or something like that. - I'm sorry. - Excuse me. Thank you for your service. How was the meeting, sir? Very productive. It's like something out of a political cartoon. What, you mean not funny? Oh, my God. How the hell did Moyes end up on two lists? I made it clear Ben should run all his list alterations past me. No, mine was the master list. Your list was a sub-list. It was a sur-list, which means over-list. - Oh, fuck you. - Your earwax could bring down a president. And I didn't even want to see Dan and Amy. And now they're expecting money. - I didn't know that. - Money? Money? Gary, I said access only. Yeah, now we're gonna have to divert funds from the campaign and that's fraud. And then we're gonna have to destroy the evidence and that's conspiracy to commit fraud. No, a cash trail is very fucking bad for us. - Oh. - Hey, hold on there, Hunk of the Month. If I'm going down, you're going down, too. I don't know what this is about. Good point. Dan and Amy. They're getting paid cash from the campaign fund to bring down the bill. There, you've been blooded. So join the circle jerk. Grab a dick. Wish I could hear what you were saying over that incessant drilling sound. - What are you doing? Shh! What cash? What Dan and Amy? Ben's paying Dan and Amy to lobby against the bill and now there's a cash trail and we're all incriminated. But you're not. Oh, my God, now you are! Well done. Now I feel a lot better. Did you know, Tom? Ma'am, I am as shocked as you are. Shocked and disappointed, Ben. Ma'am, Moyes is voting yes. Ruiz is voting yes. This comes down to one vote. We need Congressman Pierce. My future depends on that dumb fucking elf? Jeez... where is he? I'm so proud of how brave you've been. I was looking for some lotion, but they didn't... Hello, Congressman Pierce, Mrs. Pierce. We are here from the White House on behalf of the Families First Bill. Oh, yes. Mom, the White House here to see me. We need you to vote for the bill. More importantly, the president needs you to vote for the bill. The president? The president sent you here to talk to me? She used sentences containing your name. Okay, I'm in. I mean, yeah, absolutely. - Fantastic! - Mom, the president needs me to... Oh, no, Joker and Penguin beat us to it. Hey, guys. You're here just in time to celebrate. The congressman is going to vote yes on the Families First Bill. It was a personal request from the president, so... Congressman, now, while I respect your decision, you do understand that the amendments to this bill will negatively affect your district. Hardworking families don't want to support lazy ones. And your support will shrink faster than a penis in the December Hudson. - Really? - You shit-eating cocksuckers. - Whoa, whoa! - I'm sorry, Mrs. Pierce. How dare you come in here and try to strong-arm a person when he's sitting at his sick mother's bedside? That's exactly what you just did, dumbass. Don't tell me what I did or did not just do. Could you guys please keep the noise down? There's a lot of really sick people on this floor. Yes, there are. I see two very sick people. Those two. All right, ma'am, I've just spoken to Amy. Her and Dan are with Pierce and his mom at the hospital. - But there's been a holdup. - Oh, God. She's probably gonna die just to spite me. That evil bitch. And Richard and Jonah are there. And I blame Kent and Bill for that. Well, this is a long glass of frozen strawberry fuckup. Hey, listen, Ben, you've got to do something. I don't want to be a bagman for the toughest guy in D block. - All right, stop it, Gary. - Okay, look, get Pierce here. Okay? Right now. I'm gonna take control of this situation that I don't know anything about, right? Because I am the only one who seems to be... Capable. Oh, God. Is it possible to stop coughing? No! - You are not taking him. - His jittery ass is mine. - Guys, I'm right here. - I'm sorry, your jittery ass is the president's. You shouldn't even be here, Jonah, unless you're giving your brain to science. I'm here on behalf of the president, Amy. Do you remember her? She's the woman that would have fired you if you hadn't gone fucking Fukushima. That's right, we're on a mission. I am surprised the two of you even found your way out of your own mothers' vaginas. Oh, my God, dude, I got out of there like I had a fucking map. How about a little bit of consideration for a dying woman? Oh, I'm not dying. I'm just here for some tests. Okay, pipe down. Wait, where's Pierce? Wait, where's Amy? No, no, no, no! No, no. - That's Amy. - Shit! - Oh, my... - Yeah, what a shame. We should use this finger to wipe your tears. Whoa. No, no, no, no. Dan, get out of my car. Do you think I want to be in this fucking Minecraft piece of shit? I am an emissary of the president and I demand that you get out of my car. You colossal fucking fanny pack. You don't get it, do you? They only sent you 'cause they knew that you would fuck it up. You're so stupid, you don't even know that you're being used for your stupidity. That's bullshit, Dan. I can tell from your eyes and because it's fucking bullshit. Where's Richard? - This isn't fucking over, Egan. - Just get in and drive, bitch. - Okay. Shit. - Are you fucking kidding me? - It's just a glitch. - Oh, this is your car, right? - Yep. See? Fixed it. Okay. You're backing up? Just fucking go straight. I took a precision driving class, Dan. I think I know what I'm doing. Ma'am, we've lost Pierce. I'm sorry. We should have hired Navy SEALs instead of those two actual seals. How do you lose a whole person? A cuff link I get, but not a person. Okay. She said she's losing her voice. Just heard from a reporter who says Moyes thinks the White House hired lobbyists to destroy its own bill. - Oh, my God. - Jesus. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. She said you fucked up, Ben. And I'm mad as hell that you put Gary in the shit. You need to get him out. - She didn't say that, Gary. - Yes, she did. Everyone, shut your fucking holes! The president is not sick. - You guys are. You're parasites. You're like an infestation of mediocrity. I don't care if you're a 1950s radio broadcaster. You're Fozzie Bear who's been ripped up and used to smuggle heroin. A Nazi doctor. I don't even know what the fuck you are. This is not about serving yourselves. This is about serving the president. So let's do that, shall we? - Tom. - Tom. - Shut up, Gary. - Shut... mm-hmm. I do the team talks, okay? You're absolutely right, ma'am. And I agree with everything you just said. So get it together, people! Yes, ma'am. Find Pierce. Call NASA. They've got to have a satellite that can pinpoint a moron. Yes, ma'am. If you want to catch a fugitive, you got to think like a fugitive. - Where's he going? - Uh, to the airport. Why would he be going to the airport? To catch a plane, Dan. You know, you could just hit the fucking gas, Jonah. Dan, I'm not getting a ticket. That's the kind of shit that comes back to bite you when you run for office. Yeah, that's what's gonna hold you back. Okay, new rule in the Cube. If your name begins with D, you need to shut the fuck up immediately. I'm fine because my name begins with an R. - Not if we shorten it to Dick. - Well, I mean... - Oh, I think that's Amy. - Where? Jesus Christ, I'm in the back seat and I can fucking see her. Oh, right there. Okay, fine. - Congressman. - Oh, wow. Well, this is freaky. Look, I'm not hiding, just so you know. Okay, Congressman, time to exit through the gift shop. Okay, sir, you're gonna have to come with us. Guys, my mom is too ill to be left alone right now. I mean, I left her alone right now because she likes to read. But she can't read right now because she's very sick. But she might get better. Or she might not get better. - She could be buried with a book. - We know she's not dying. - She's a fighter, is the thing. - Good for her. As weird as it feels to still be saying this, the president would like to see you at the White House. I feel like I'm about to kick it old school and die in office. Quitting on a high. Do you think I'm doing the right thing here? I mean, this is a good bill. Even watered down, I think it's gonna make a difference in people's lives. Ma'am, you're the president. It's not for me to tell you what to do. Yeah. Guess I should kill it. Is the right answer. I'm cold. It's actually about 110 in here. There's no way it's warm in here. - Do you really feel warm? - You could grow tomatoes in here. Honestly, it is unbelievable. Well, I can't make it cooler for you. Well, we're taking the credit. No, we're taking the credit. How about a compromise? We'll take all the credit. - Well, perhaps we could split the bounty? - What bounty? Well, I'm guessing there's no bounty, but... Dan, Amy, how are you? I'll take it from here. - I want to take in Pierce. - Whoa, whoa. No, no, no. We are not going into the White House and blowing our cover for this guy. You can't come in. That comes from the president. - Well, she's a bitch. - I'll tell her you said hi. Hey, we got to get moving. Hey, you guys. Long time no see. Jesus, Mike, they got you involved in this? You're the fucking press secretary. Thank you. That's what I've been saying. I have no wish to be embroiled in this either. It doesn't sit well with my policy of plausible deniability. Let's get going. I'll see you around. And by that I mean please, stay away from me. See you later, ghosts of staffers past. Madam President, I brought you Congressman Pierce. I brought him also, ma'am. Richard Splett. She already knows who you are. You can go. No, no, no. Not you. Not you. We're such big fans. I'm a big fan of yours. Thank you, Madam President. I am here to serve. How can I help? The president needs you to do something for her. And in exchange, she feels that you deserve a better job. - Yes. - Thank you. Ambassador, perhaps. How does that sound? Ambassador? Me? Oh, wow. Not what I was expecting. What's your favorite city? Dallas. I love Dallas, Texas. No, it needs to be a foreign city. Oh, of course. Ambassador. Right. Um, well, Paris, right? J'adore Paris. I've never been, but it looks amazing. - No. - No, that's not gonna happen. - Oh, of course. - Do you have another... Well, I love Australia. Down under. And the president needs you to vote no on tonight's bill. Are you guys... are you... Are you serious? Okay, the president, she wants me to vote against her bill? - Am I being stupid here? - Yes. Yes. No. I mean, you're... No, you're not being... It's, yes, you need to vote no. Okay, I can... love it. Don't get it, but it's all right. I just want to help. But, yeah, just let me know where I'm going. - You need to know now? - Yeah, that would be great. What'd you say, ma'am? Mm-hmm. - Her voice is gone. - Yeah. Was she able to say where I'm going? My posting? Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You can have Paris. - What? - I can have Paris? Wow, thank you. - No, no, no. - Paris. - Congratulations. - Thank you. - Don't forget to vote, all right? - Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. - No. No. No, no. I mean, yes, I'm voting no. It's an "otter." No, ma'am, Pierce went to vote. And then he thinks he's off to Paris. I said... I said no to Paris. We'll call him after the vote, tell him it's Mogadishu. He literally could have said anything. For a moment, Gary was the most powerful person in the world. That's hilarious. Get me some soup. Yep. Uh-oh. Thequestionis ,willthe House pass the bill as amended? This is a 15-minute vote. Oh, my God. My ass is killing me from that shot. But I feel pretty good. Really? - Ma'am. - What? Oh, boy. Here we go. It's like I want my baby to live. I don't want my baby to die. Maybe think of it more of as a bill, which in a very real way is what it is. - Mm. - There's Pierce. He even walks dumb. Every time I see him, I hear circus music. Come on, Owen. It's your time to shine, you dim fucking bulb. - He voted no. We lost the vote. - Oh! We are victorious in defeat. We may allow ourselves a brief period of rejoicing. Okay, so I lost the vote. I won by not winning. God, I don't know how I feel. Apart from, like, having a raccoon take a shit in my head. You should feel great, ma'am. That was a solid, important defeat. I'm gonna go change my clothes... croak to the nation, and then I'm going back to bed. This is good. Moyes is threatening to go to the floor for an official investigation into what happened today. - This is bad. - Mm-hmm. I'm in the middle of this. Does this mean I'm implicated, too? You know what. Just say no even if it does. Well, Gary, you said you were important. I can testify to that. Ben, this is one of those little hiccups that you said was not gonna happen, so I'm gonna leave this in your capable hands. Mike, you have to deny this like you've never denied anything before. So lie? The one thing I've been trying not to do? Look, I wouldn't ask you to do anything I wouldn't do myself. And while that isn't true, find some comfort in it. - Okay, Gary? - Nope. I will work on putting forward a new, streamlined Families First Bill before Congress in the near future. She sounds like an underwater Bob Dylan. It is actually quite difficult to understand what she's saying. Children from impending climate Armageddon. Which may be a good thing. And God bless America. And we're out. Thank you, ma'am. Okay... oh. Okay, thank you very much, guys. Appreciate it. Ooh, it's cold. You think you could just pick this shit up tomorrow? - Ma'am. - Yes, ma'am. Oh, God. Fuck you, America. You have 14 new voice memos. Oh, my God. Mike, some old golfer died. Do I need to say something? Next memo. Kent, I just got your document. I have no idea what any of this means. Next memo. Oh, okay, Kent. I just found the glossary, so ignore that last message. Next memo. Ted, I've just read the glossory. I have no idea of any of it means. That's why I included the second glossory. Next memo. Mike, is it pissing you off I'm leaving all these messages? Yes. Next memo. Good, because it's pissing me off you're not answering any of these messages. Next memo. How do you leave a memo in your sleep? - See you. - Next memo. Mike, were you at work today? I don't remember seeing you. Next memo. Ben, Moyes is asking questions. This isn't gonna lead to any kind of an investigation, is it? Memo deleted. I fucking hope not. Do you solemnly that the testimony you are about to give is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God. So help me God. Yes, I do. - I do. - I do. - Yes, I do. - Absolutely. Deep in the heart of the Peruvian Andes, there is a shrine. It is known as Yurak Rumi - the White Stone. Five centuries ago, priests and royalty from one of the greatest empires in the world would gather here to pray to the sun, to the earth, and to the stars. But the empire they ruled had shrunk. Once it spanned a continent. Now it covered barely this isolated piece of forest. This is the story of what happened to the Inca - the greatest pre-Columbian empire in the Americas. A land of desert temples, of palaces in the clouds and cities hidden deep in the forest. The Inca created a system of governance that was ideally suited to these landscapes. A religion that chimed with pre-existing Andean belief systems, but that was designed to emphasise their own special position in the cosmic order. Not only had they developed ingenious agricultural technologies, but an effective way of distributing them, binding people to the state. And their built environment, their architecture criss-crossed the entire territories, projecting their power to the people. But the Inca would meet another empire from across the ocean, one which played by a completely different set of rules. And this clash of two very different empires is still the defining moment in South America's history. I am fascinated by how the Inca succumbed to the Spanish. How such a powerful state was conquered by just a few hundred conquistadors. How an empire of mountains, desert, sky and forest was reduced to this lonely and forgotten shrine. The Inca were one of many societies who lived in the Andes during the early part of the second millennium. From their capital city, Cuzco, they then built an empire which stretched 4,000 kilometres along the western coast of South America. It included parts of the modern-day nations of Peru, Bolivia, Ecuador, Argentina and Chile. This was an empire of solutions - the Inca revolutionised agriculture. They had transformed food distribution. They bound their huge realm together with thousands of kilometres of roads, many of which are still in use today. And at their zenith, their power even reached places like this - Mount Ampato, high in the Andes, where rock and cloud meet sky. So this is the base of Mount Ampato on the left. That's Sabancaya - another volcano - on the right. At over 6,000 metres, Ampato is one of the highest mountains in Peru. Like many high peaks in the Andes, it was summited by the Inca hundreds of years ago. Which tells me that mountains like this played a significant role in the culture of the Inca Empire. When we talk about high-altitude archaeology, we're talking about 5,200 metres. The only people who did that before European sport climbing in the 1800s were the Incas. So, like, 400 years before Europeans were even reaching 22,000 feet, the Incas were not only reaching, consistently reaching, they were building structures of stone at 22,000 feet. For 99.9% of our lives, we live in the same parts of the landscape - home, work, in the pub. And so our behaviour in those locations is pretty normal for society. But what about that other fraction of the landscape, extreme locations, deep inside caves, under water and at the top of extremely high mountains? I think that the behaviour of past societies at these extreme locations can give us a unique insight into those cultures. In the minds of the Inca, inanimate objects like rocks, rivers or streams were often considered sacred. Mountains were no exception. They represented the origin of people's ancestors, or their place they went to when they died. Many of these mountains are active volcanoes and they still inspire an almost religious reverence from the people who live here today. When they look at the mountains, they kind of see a living presence, and that was brought home many times to me. They'd say, "You Westerners just don't understand." "For us, the mountains are alive." I'm currently at 5,500 metres, or just over 18,000 feet, above sea level. When you hike up to these extreme altitudes, it becomes very hard to breathe and there's a lack of oxygen to the brain. And that's really interesting, because it starts to play tricks on your mind. Your thoughts internalise very, very quickly. To describe it, it's almost like you're on the edge of dreaming but you're still awake. So you can see why the Inca would find it a very spiritual experience as they came up to these extreme places, why they might feel they were entering the realm of the gods. That's why we need to look at these mountains not simply as rock and ice, but as places which were vital to sustaining and explaining the Inca worldview. And what happened on these mountains can explain much about the strength and nature of Inca power. Around the year 1450, a spectacular Inca procession made its way up this mountain. As part of the group was a 13-year-old girl, dressed in elaborate Inca textiles. But the group had a grisly purpose, because when they reached the summit, they smashed in the girl's skull, sacrificing her to the gods. For over 500 years, knowledge of this expedition, and the fate of the girl who was sacrificed, lay hidden in the snow. It wasn't till 1995, when American anthropologist Johan Reinhard and his climbing partner Miguel Zarate reached the summit, that Ampato gave up its secret. We initially found food and textiles, you know, torn, and wood pieces and stuff like that. When we returned later, we found statues and other things - boxes, little boxes, and so on, but, of course, the focus then became on the mummy which was just laying right out. Reinhard and Zarate named the mummy Juanita. Her sacrifice was the culmination of a whole series of carefully planned rituals which spread throughout the empire. Human sacrifice was the last event in a whole series of rituals that could take as long as a year before they reached their culmination. People, in fact, were brought to Cuzco and fed special foods and purified before being carried or themselves walking as far as 2,000 kilometres to get to their final sacrifice point. Juanita's last journey would have taken her across the whole empire, from desert, to coast, to forest, before finally reaching Mount Ampato. Her epic journey and carefully planned death played a critical role in demonstrating and reinforcing Inca power to the people they ruled. The Inca Empire is partly held together through religion and ritual and activities, such as the human sacrifices on mountain tops or on islands, which create an integration of the empire through people coming from Cuzco and walking to make these sacrifices. And this is why Juanita was led up this mountain five centuries ago. Her journey to Ampato symbolised the political reach of the Inca. Her sacrifice emphasised the Inca control over the sacred landscape of the Andes. Above all, Juanita's death suggests to me an empire with an incredibly well-developed sense of its own mission, its own rituals and its own power. And yet, this huge empire of ten million souls fell rapidly to a small force of conquistadors. To find out why, I think we need to look at just how rapidly the Inca were expanding by the late 15th century. Because that rapid expansion undermined the foundations upon which their empire was built. This is the site of Quispiguanca, the great royal estate of Huayna Capac, the Sapa Inca ruler. In 1493, when construction of this site was in full swing, it must have been such a impressive sight - the estate sprawling down this beautiful Urubamba River. This was when the Inca were at their zenith. Today, Quispiguanca is in danger of being consumed by the modern town of Urubamba. But once, nearly 2,500 workers and their families lived on this site, tending to Huayna Capac's every whim. The emperor and his family lived in this massive enclosure, as big as seven football pitches. There was a forest stocked with game and deer, a lagoon, an artificial pond, and storehouses for clothes, food and beer. But all this splendour was hiding a serious problem. The Inca empire was fed by a constant need for growth. As the Inca Empire expanded and got larger, it was much harder to control the diversity of populations that were under the Inca rubric. I think the Inca Empire was continuously unstable, in as much as you were always having to persuade all of these different ethnic groups to remain within it, and as it became larger and larger, the potential of fragmentation was always there. Pressure to expand is common to many empires, not just the Inca. But expanding whilst maintaining stability, even for a powerful and complex empire like the Incas', is a delicate balancing act. I think all emperors take power with the idea of expanding their empire. It's rather a mandate when you take the crown. So I think Huayna Capac was expanding out, but he inherits the empire and it's already very large, it's already very complex. Huayna Capac probably spent little time enjoying Quispiguanca. His rule was dominated by attempts to project Inca power ever further from Cuzco. His greatest campaign would see him lead his armies north, into modern-day Ecuador. We shouldn't think of the Inca in the way we think of empires like Rome or Britain, where power flowed directly from military might. The Inca were different. Their empire had largely grown through diplomacy and peaceful incorporation, rather than bloody conquest. It was a clever strategy, in which neighbouring societies were enticed to accede to Inca rule in return for sharing in the fruits of their rich, efficiently organised and well-fed empire. If you look at the history of the Inca expansion, there's relatively few major pitched battles or military campaigns. But there were limits to this strategy, as Huayna Capac and his armies were about to find out. Quitoloma is one of a series of Inca forts which mark the northern boundaries of the Inca empire. These forts occupy the high points along the ridgeline, nearly 4,000 metres above sea level in northern Ecuador. My guide today is eminent archaeologist Antonio Fresco, who has studied the remains of Inca forts and defences in these hills. For 17 years, Huayna Capac and his Inca forces fought against the Cayambe and Caranqui peoples who lived here. The highland people of Ecuador had no need of the Inca revolutions in agriculture and administration. Evidence shows that they had long enjoyed plentiful harvests and a varied diet. And signs of their resistance to the Inca are still visible here today. As the war dragged on, the Inca used their tremendous organisational skills to attempt social engineering on a vast scale. They expelled people under their control and replaced them with loyal settlers from other parts of the empire. You get several advantages in this type of colonisation. You are able to disperse a power which is against you and place them in different areas, and you're able to reward some of your own people with new conquered lands. To this day, the effects of this can be seen here. Many people in this part of Ecuador can trace their ancestry to Argentina and Chile. They are descendants of the settlers and soldiers the Inca brought here. As the years passed, the war stretched the resources of the empire to breaking point. This is a pretty bleak, desolate, windswept place. But I think it was here that the peoples of northern Ecuador changed the game for the Inca. Because what happened here at Quitoloma and the whole series of Inca forts along this ridgeline fundamentally altered the nature of Inca power, with terrible consequences for the Empire. The war reached a climax here at Lake Yahuaracocha - the ominously named "lake of blood". Beneath the surface, and around the edge of this lake, archaeologist. Jose Echeverria has uncovered evidence of an immense battle. Jose has pieced together what happened here when Inca forces confronted their northern enemies by the shores of this lake. Sometimes empires are like supernovas - they expand out in tremendous speed, and often there's an over-extension, and I think that's what we have with the Incas. They are really at the end of their logistical abilities by the time they get up into northern Ecuador. And the Incas just have a hard time in controlling those different ethnic groups. Strategically, this Pyrrhic victory was a disaster for the Inca. Their empire in the north was not based on the same peaceful cooperation as it was further south. It was based purely on military strength. The Inca were now an occupying army. What had made the Incas so successful was offering solutions to people, and providing a stable and attractive way of life in a tough environment. The campaign completely undermined what had made Inca power so seductive and successful. In a sense, the Inca were following a dangerous path taken by other empires around the world, with their soldiers holed up in forts, harassed by guerrillas, and only able to maintain control through the application of overwhelming force and bloodshed. This was a profound moment in Inca history, and it was immediately followed by an event that would destabilise the Empire like never before. Around 1528, Huayna Capac died. And in the Inca system, royal succession was not simply decided by who was next in line. The Incas basically had two tracks to the throne. One of them was the ruler would name a co-regent while he was still ruler. The other one was that the most able son of the ruler would ascend to the throne, which invited competition. That's disastrous. It could be ruinous for a society looking for a peaceful transition. Previous Inca successions had been disruptive and often bloody affairs. This one would be no different. This is a world in which the descendants of the Sapa Inca are almost as likely to be killed in a succession crisis as they are of becoming the Sapa Inca themselves. The problem is, without an iron rule of primogeniture, and the emperor having lots of children by many wives, there's a large pool of people to claim the throne. It's a system that lends itself to plotting, intrigue, and bargaining, with inherent uncertainty in it, right from the beginning. So the moment of succession is a moment of upheaval, of vulnerability, like a shock to the system for the entire empire. Of course, many European kingdoms have endured this kind of constitutional crisis. But what made this one so dangerous was the fragile balance of power in the empire. The most powerful armies were in the north. They were not concentrated in Cuzco, they were up there as a potential rebellious source of power for a contender to the throne. When Huayna Capac died, it thrust both the political elite in Cuzco and the military elite in Ecuador into direct conflict. They no longer had a uniting figure everyone could get behind, and that put the empire into chaos. This was the unintended consequence of Huayna Capac's northward expansion. His two-decade-long campaign had fatally undermined the military and political balance of the empire. Combined with the uncertainty of the succession, the result was a devastating civil war. The protagonists in this Civil War were half-brothers Atahualpa and Huascar - both sons of Huayna Capac, but by different mothers. It was a rivalry that divided the empire. Huascar had the support of the nobles in Cuzco and was enthroned there. But Atahualpa had the support of the northern armies. It's unclear whether he was expecting a separate empire in the north or simply to move the capital from Cuzco to Quito. But it wasn't just a dispute between half-brothers - it was a war between north and south that completely split the empire in two. The war became a series of devastating battles along the length of the Andes. After three years of fighting, Atahualpa's seasoned soldiers gained a decisive upper hand. Atahualpa's principle general went into Cuzco and captured all of the royalty of Cuzco who had sided with Huascar and massacred them. Thousands and thousands of people were killed on the spot. This resulted in the elimination of perhaps half of Cuzco's royalty in the space of just a few months. In terms of human life, the cost of Atahualpa's victory was high. This bloodshed undoubtedly weakened the empire. But, by 1532, Atahualpa was the undisputed successor, and ruler of a vast realm. Into this world stepped Francisco Pizarro and his conquistadors. They were small in number. Less than 200 soldiers and a dozen horses - but they were battle hardened after years of fighting in Central America. From their point of view, they could not have arrived at a better time. Atahualpa sent emissaries down just to have a look at these strangers. They reported back that they're pretty hopeless, so he allowed them to come up and meet him. So they marched up into the mountains. When people discuss the European conquest of the Inca, they often ask a simple question. Why didn't the Inca just snuff out the Europeans as soon as they arrived on the coast? They certainly enjoyed overwhelming force and could have kidnapped or killed them at any time. But I think this question slightly misses the point. Because this isn't a war between equals, it's a collision of two completely different worldviews. From Atahualpa's perspective, he had just taken control of an immense empire - the entire known world was his. So from his perspective, why should he be scared of some bedraggled, sunburned Spaniards, struggling inland? Although few in number, Pizarro led a band of experienced and skilled soldiers. They were the fearsome spearhead of the Spanish Empire. In their wake, they had brought European diseases which were ravaging indigenous populations and spreading, uncontrolled, across the Americas. But, ultimately, theirs was a crusading mission. Cloaked in the symbols of Christianity, its aims were simple - to accumulate for each other, and for the Spanish crown, as much wealth as humanly possible. The expedition of Spaniards led by Francisco Pizarro was made up of soldier entrepreneurs. They had invested their money with the expectation of pay-offs and the riches that they were going to find in the new land. They purported to be spreading Christianity, but they were just there for the money. Atahualpa agreed to meet Pizarro in the town square of Cajamarca, in northern Peru, at dusk on 16th November, 1532. This was the first meeting of two very different empires. Atahualpa had decided to turn his arrival into an elaborate ceremonial parade. He arrived being carried on a litter, bedecked in his finest imperial regalia of emeralds and gold. Perhaps to intimidate the Spanish, or at the very least to show them who they were dealing with. But when he arrived, there were no Spanish to be seen. Pizarro had hidden his men in the barns that ringed the square. They had mounted their horses, and were fully armed. For the Inca, however, this meeting was purely ritual - their chance to impress the Spaniards as well as to assess them. The last thing Atahualpa and his men expected was a fight. They weren't armed - it was a sort of ceremonial parade. And he was on a litter being carried by 70 of his senior nobles. He was expecting to meet this strange stranger, instead of which a priest came out. Valverde. Valverde began lecturing Atahualpa on Christianity, saying that the King of Spain had sent him to reveal the word of God to Atahualpa and his people. This speech is known as "The Requirement" because the Spanish government required it to be read out before any bloodshed was resorted to by the troops. Valverde then gave Atahualpa a Bible, but Atahualpa quickly threw it down in disgust. Atahualpa was a semi-divine figure. His people believed he was descended from the sun god, Inti. He was treated with such reverence that few dared look him in the eye, and he expected similar respect from this bedraggled band of strangers. Yet now he was being harangued in a language he did not understand. Pizarro had anticipated Atahualpa's angry reaction and prepared for it. To the astonishment of the Inca, he ordered his men to attack. By then, the Inca's up on his litter and all these hundreds of thousands, everybody was squashed into this square, and then the Spaniards, by surprise, ran and galloped out of the houses they'd been lodged in and started killing. And they just slaughtered with their swords, just killing and killing. Thousands of Inca died in the square that afternoon. But not a single Spaniard was killed. Pizarro made straight for Atahualpa and dragged him off his litter. Seeing their revered emperor bundled into a barn, the remaining Inca tried to flee. What happened in Cajamarca could be explained in one way quite simply - that Atahualpa had just underestimated the Spanish. Certainly his scouts had reported back that they were a disorganised rabble, weak and inferior to the Inca. But there is another explanation that is perhaps more pertinent to Inca power. When Atahualpa was kidnapped, the Inca army fell into disarray. By the morning, thousands of Inca soldiers had surrendered meekly without a shot being fired. Without their all-powerful demi-god leader, the Inca military were paralysed. Pizarro wasted no time in getting down to business with his new prisoner. And then they sent to the camp and came back with anything that was gold or silver. So, Atahualpa very rapidly realised that the one thing they were obsessed with was gold and silver. Attitudes towards these precious metals crystallise the different world views of the Inca and Spanish empires. For the Spanish, gold was the Holy Grail, the principle reason they had travelled so far from home. But for the Inca, it had no monetary value whatsoever. To them, its value was purely ceremonial and spiritual. Atahualpa then made a famous offer to Pizarro - that he would fill a room with gold, and twice with silver in return for his release. He ordered his officials to melt down jewellery, idols - anything they could lay their hands on. It's estimated that this ransom was worth about £200 million in today's money. It was the largest ransom in history. Every man under Pizarro's command instantly became fabulously wealthy. But they now had a problem - what to do with Atahualpa. It's hard to look into the mind of Pizarro and his men, but I would anticipate that they saw the power that one being, that living being represented for the unity of the Inca Empire and that once they had received that ransom, I bet that they did anticipate that killing him was the only way to save their own skins. Atahualpa hoped that by acceding to Pizarro's request, providing so much precious metal, he would be freed and his empire left in peace. But it seems that some Spanish were anxious that, if he was released, their small army would soon be crushed by the Inca. And so on the evening of 26th July, 1533, Atahualpa was led from his cell, into the main square of Cajamarca, and, after a hasty trial, he was condemned to be burned at the stake. In the Inca religion, bodies were mummified to go into the next world, but the body had to be intact. And so they got him to do a deathbed conversion to. Christianity. And that was in return for not damaging his body. And then they even reneged on that. Killed him, they then set fire to his body. When they captured Atahualpa, the Spanish decapitated his army. When they killed him, they decapitated an empire. Well, the Sapa Inca is the representation of the unity of the empire. If given time to work out a succession system among the elite groups in Cuzco and in Ecuador, the Inca very well could have come up with a succession that would have yielded a new Sapa Inca, a new leader who would have unified the empire, but the Spanish short-changed that. They cut the legs off from under that process. That was probably the most strategic decision they unwittingly made. With the empire leaderless, the Spanish seized the initiative. They made alliances with the northern peoples the Incas had fought so long to conquer. And they set about destroying the remaining Inca armies on their way to Cuzco. And they brought with them a secret weapon, which the Inca were simply unable to deal with. But this wasn't the latest European technology. It was the horse. Horses had dominated European warfare for centuries, but they were completely alien to the Inca. They'd never seen anything like them before, and had no idea that they could be used as an offensive weapon. In fact, the first Inca who saw horses, as Pizarro moved inland, thought they could be no threat, because they ate grass, rather than humans. The only large domesticated mammals in the Andes are llamas and alpacas. Nobody ever rode them - they were beasts of burden who would take small packs. No-one had ever seen, or conceived of, that a warrior that would ride a large beast. And the warfare tactics that were developed were developed for fighting hand-to-hand with men, or projectiles with men. Not for fighting cavalry. Not for fighting men on horseback, and so it was a very, very, different system of warfare that they had never encountered before and were not prepared for, frankly. Horses gave the Spanish mobility and speed, allowing them to outflank whole armies of Inca foot-soldiers. And when you are up here, it's much easier to kill a man. You have height, you can thrust straight down into the crowd. The horses were almost always revered by the Inca soldiers because they gave the mounted Spaniards so much advantage. Police today, to this day, quelling a demonstration, will use horses. Horses were the tanks of the conquest. Throughout the empire, they were used to charge into ranks of terrified soldiers. To the Incan mind, it reinforced the sense that the conquistadors were invincible. A charge of horses was like modern-day "shock and awe" warfare, combining physical strength with psychological domination of the enemy, confronting them with something they had never seen before and struggled to comprehend. Barely a year after capturing Atahualpa, Pizarro had reached Cuzco. The rapid success of the Spanish traumatised the empire, throwing its delicate systems of government into chaos. And thanks to a fantastic discovery, we have a snapshot of life, and death, at this time. In 1999, Guillermo Cock and his colleagues found an Inca burial ground dating from the exact moment of the Spanish conquest. One of the people found there was a young woman, now known as La Senorita. She was born just before the conquest. We believe that she was born somewhere between 1526, 1528. She was not buried in a flexed position, as you notice immediately. She was buried extended and she was buried, no, with the hands on top of the chest, as a Christian. That means that she was baptized. La Senorita was born into a world of sun worship and of elaborate Inca religious ritual. But she died worshipping another god. And her health may have been poor. In an empire which could feed its people, Guillermo believes she probably died hungry. She was poorly fed. She died because of malnutrition. If she would have lived a week more, she would have lost all of her teeth at the same time because of the infection that she had in her mouth. Guillermo hasn't been able to tell for sure whether La Senorita suffered from a European disease like smallpox or measles, because identifiable traces of these diseases can be hard to find. But he believes new diseases would have been present in the community at the time of La Senorita's death, arriving with, or maybe even before, Francisco Pizarro and his conquistadors. Chances are that, before Pizarro, the diseases were already here. With a more limited spread, but since the natives used to sail and trade to the north, they may have brought some of the diseases. These diseases spread rapidly along the Incas' extensive road network. These 40,000 km of road, which had once held the vast empire together, were now aiding the spread of deadly epidemics. The communication networks in the Incan Empire were excellent, and the Inca used to move people around. And so this migration of population around the place would have helped to have transmitted disease between different, really quite remote communities. There were communicable diseases that would run riot through a population that is not prepared for it, that has no in-built natural resistance to it, so I think it's entirely possible that these diseases really did some of the groundwork for the invading Europeans. And when we start to think about percentages of population decrease, what percentage of the population was affected by European disease? On the coast it was terrible. By 1575, at least 70%, 75% of the coastal population was gone. And by 1610, there was another major counting of people - between 87 and 93% were gone. This represents a staggering loss of life, which continued for generations after the conquest. A whirlwind of death which would have devastated any empire, even one as big and well-developed as the Inca. La Senorita is an incredible mummy. She provides this wonderful window of opportunity on the European impact on Inca society, both culturally and physically. But for me, it's this question of disease which is crucial, because I think the Inca society would have continued for centuries if it wasn't for European arrival. But no society can survive the 50-90% of population decline that we think that European disease effected on the indigenous population. As individuals, we are all strong and weak at different times in our lives. Physically, emotionally, politically - and it is where we are on that spectrum when chance meetings or key events occur that defines the decisions we'll make, and therefore the pathway that our lives will take. Societies and empires are no different. Power structures waxing and waning as they morph and change through time. Therefore, if we are weak when these key events occur, our vulnerability can increase exponentially. This is what happened to the Inca. Terrible new diseases had infected the people. In the north, their inability to build a peaceful empire had undermined the strategy which gave the empire its strength. Their failure to arrange an orderly succession had led to political chaos and civil war, weakening them just as the Spanish arrived. And as the infrastructure of empire crumbled, the bargain the Inca had made with the people they governed, that their rule would bring benefits in reliable food supplies and efficient social organisation, fell apart as well. Soon, Pizarro's small band were joined by hundreds, then thousands more Europeans, attracted by the promise of gold, silver and land. In little more than a year, one empire in the Andes began to replace another. And one of the first buildings the Spanish built in celebration was this beautiful church in Quito. Today, all that remains of the last independent Inca ruler are the bodies of his descendants, hidden away in the catacombs beneath the Church. So we're right underneath the Covenento Maximo de. San Francisco de Quito. It's one of the earliest churches built in South America, in AD 1534. And why it's important is that it's a church built on the foundations of the palace of Atahualpa. So it really represents this turning point for the Inca elite as we see this transition from Atahualpa's palace into a Christian space. And what's different about the Inca noble elite living here at the time is that, unlike in Cuzco, where many of them are killed, people here live on and they adopt a Christian way of life. In some ways, these skulls are symbols of the final defeat of the Inca. They show an elite capitulating to the Spanish, converting to Christianity. Even their final resting place emphasises their defeat, underneath a Catholic Church built right on top of Atahualpa's palace. But despite the catastrophes which had befallen them, there was a resilience to the Inca. And it would be a mistake to think that all of them meekly accepted their fate. Back in Guillermo Cock's lab in Lima, there are some more interesting skulls. The remains of 70 people found in a mass grave, dating from three years after the Spanish arrived. At first, we thought they were poor people but then we realised that many of the individuals have injuries, and pretty bad injuries. This person, and those dumped in the grave with them, died a violent death. We have a powerful hit on the head, on the left side, that has been produced by something sharp in a 45-degree angle. We have clear evidence there. We have also a smash on the side of the head with something very, very powerful. The right arm, the left arm, the bones in the chest, shows the evidence of combat. You don't have to be a genius! HE LAUGHS - No, it's pretty clear evidence. - It's very clear. These deaths occurred after the Spanish arrived. In other words, these men and women were rebelling against Spanish rule, resisting them in the new colonial capital, Lima. We are 100% sure they are all indigenous, they are all also from the same area. And many of them joined the Inca troops and went in to the siege of Lima, and they were killed there. The leader of the rebellion was Manco Inca, another son of Huayna Capac. In 1533, the Spanish had installed him as Sapa Inca in Cuzco, with all the pomp and ceremony of his predecessors. Manco Inca hoped that, by cooperating with the Spanish, he could maintain his empire. But he soon realised he had been tricked. As he sat in his palace, here in Cuzco, he received reports of his empire falling apart, its administration in disarray, and the ruthless plundering by the conquistadores. There had been personal slights, too - Spanish officials pestering him for jewellery and gold. Pizarro's brother had even stolen his wife. Only two years after being installed by Pizarro, Manco Inca decided to rebel. Under the noses of the Spanish, he assembled a huge army and prepared to re-take Cuzco. The Incan army surrounded the city, covering the hills and plains. It must have been a magnificent sight, but a horrifying one for the Spanish holed up in the city centre. One Spaniard described the Incan army as a "black carpet" by day, and "a clear sky filled with stars" at night, as their campfires lit up the landscape. There were fewer than 200 Spaniards in Cuzco when Manco Inca arrived at the gates. They desperately sent messages to Lima for help. Messages which didn't arrive. The Incas had developed one tactic that did seem to be able to kill Spaniards. Peru is very mountainous, so they trapped them in... where they knew a road was going through - a narrow gorge. They trapped them at either end and then rolled huge stones down on them. And they managed to kill most of those relief expeditions in that way. It looked like the Spanish empire in Peru was about to come to an abrupt end. But despite the Incas' overwhelming numerical advantage, the attack stalled. Manco Inca's rebellion illustrates some of the strengths and weakness of the Inca empire. On the one hand, he was able to assemble a vast army of over 100,000 loyal warriors, right under the nose of the Spanish whilst essentially under military occupation. But on the other, he was unable to take the swift and decisive military action necessary, against an army far inferior in number. And that's because when they arrived at the battlefield, they spent days feasting, doing ceremonies, and consulting the oracles. Anything, that is, except actually attacking. Inca battle tactics had consisted of a vast show of force designed to persuade their enemies not to resist. This had worked for previous Sapa Incas, allowing them to build an empire with minimal bloodshed. But these tactics didn't impress the Spanish, who used the delay to dig in and wait for help. It seems to me that what underpins Inca power is fundamentally a shared understanding of the way the world should work. And when an empire arrives who play by a completely different set of rules, they become powerless. I think the failures of Manco Inca and Atahualpa can be explained by this. From a military perspective, Manco Inca wastes days before he attacks the Spanish, following his customs and elaborate ceremonies. And Atahualpa - for him it's completely inconceivable that during an imperial delegation to meet Pizarro he might be attacked and kidnapped. After months of bloody skirmishes around the city, Spanish reinforcements finally arrived. Manco Inca realised his rebellion had failed. He had no choice but to retreat - as far away from the Spanish as he could. His destination was the remote, mountainous region of Vilcabamba. Although only a few days' march from Cuzco, this area was difficult for the Spanish to penetrate. Protected by steep mountainsides and encircled by rivers, the Vilcabamba region offered protection to Manco Inca and his shattered people. The Inca arrived here in 1537. Five years earlier, the empire had stretched across a continent. Now it was reduced to a small patch of mountainous forest. Its centre, the new Cuzco, was the town of Vitcos. I really love this site of Vitcos. It's on this beautiful promontory with valleys on either side, surrounded by high mountains covered in mist. There are some real parallels with Machu Picchu. But whereas that site is visited thousands of times every single day, hardly anyone ever comes here. And this site really tells the important story about the end of the Inca empire. THEY SPEAK IN SPANISH Miriam Dayde Araoz Silva is one of the few archaeologists who has excavated this remote site. Vitcos had been built during the first flush of empire, as the Inca expanded from Cuzco. But now this isolated region would be the base for the resistance, the location from which Manco Inca hoped to rebuild Inca power. When Manco Inca first pulls into Vilcabamba, there's armed conflict back and forth. Manco Inca saw the Inca empire at its height, and he knew what he was losing and he was wanting to fight back. But in 1545, Manco Inca died. His was the last serious rebellion against Spanish rule. And after his death, his small Inca dominion was increasingly encroached upon by Spanish officials and missionaries. One part of their diminished empire that the Inca wanted to keep safe from the Spanish was this. Yurak Rumi, the White Stone. It had been a shrine at the height of empire. But now it had become one of the last places on Earth where the Inca could worship openly. Today, it is a place of extraordinary serenity. These elaborately carved rocks are an iconic feature of the religious landscape of the Inca. And this one shows how the ideology is persisting, even here at Vitcos, right at the end of the empire. In front of this rock would have been carried out elaborate ceremonies, and over there you can see structures remaining that might have housed the priests who controlled access to the site. And that, ultimately, was too much for the Spanish. In 1570, missionaries and their converts held an exorcism of this shrine, before setting fire to it. It proved to be the prelude to a larger attack on the entire. Vilcabamba region. The Spaniards send a diplomatic mission into Vilcabamba and that mission is killed by the Incas. When the Spanish learn the ambassador has been killed, they launch a massive raid into Vilcabamba. The Inca had preserved an independent state here for nearly 40 years. But the destruction of Yurak Rumi signalled the end of the Inca as an independent people. The empire's cities and shrines were left to fall into ruin. In many ways, the story of this shrine reflects that of the Inca empire. It was founded in the mid-1400s during one of the early Inca expansions and its fateful end came when it was razed to the ground in 1570 by Christians who saw it as symbolic of the Inca resistance. But there's a story that I really like, and that's an archaeologist who was working here only a few years ago, who saw people coming here to make offerings of maize and coca. So I think the symbolic power of this place is still alive amongst the population today. And you can still sense the power of the Inca as you travel through the lands that made up their empire. Modern highways follow Inca roads. Incan agricultural terraces are being restored and reused. And respect for the earth, for this incredible landscape, is strong among the people who live here today. Indigenous groups within the Andes have been battered by colonial and republican forces for all the period since the Inca empire. But today I think the ideals of the Inca empire are used by some of those indigenous groups to fight and say that, "We deserve the voice" to be able to run our communities as we wish, and that we have had the force to construct a society that is as sophisticated as anything else in the world and we can do that again within our own society today. The ingenuity of the Inca lay ultimately in their incredible achievements in agriculture, architecture, diplomacy and nation-building. Achievements which combined to give their empire a very distinct and unusual source of power. The source of power in many of the Andean nations still harkens back to the memory of the Inca and the great unity that they were able to provide over very diverse environments and very diverse populations. And so Andean leaders, I think, still look at the Inca as a source of unification and a means of emulating what they did. The Inca empire may have flourished comparatively fleetingly, but I think it's one of the most intriguing empires the world has ever seen. Not just because of the astonishing way in which the Inca developed an empire of such magnitude and complexity, nor because of their ingenious innovations in agriculture, architecture and engineering. But for me, it's because they offer a completely different perspective on how to live our lives, and at a time when Peru, South America, and the world faces some pretty major challenges to our way of life, I think we have a huge amount to learn from the Inca. Welcome to Hive Minds, the quiz where simply knowing the answers isn't enough - you've got to find them as well. Let's meet this week's Hive Minds. Lutrophiles, introduce yourself, please. I'm Ned, a professional gambler from Northamptonshire. I'm Oliver, I'm a designer from Surrey. I'm Marianne, a quantitative analyst from London. Very welcome indeed. Araucarians, over to you. I'm Simon, I'm a plumber from Essex. I'm Simon, I'm a database manager from Leytonstone in East London. I'm Helen, I'm a taxonomist from London. Welcome back. You've both lost a game, won a game, and now it's your chance to get through to the semifinal. Marianne, what's with the hat? I've just got a massive collection of hats. I just really like hats. I suppose when you're looking down at your hive, it'll look like you're looking up with your eyes, is that the idea? Yeah. And you've got an owl in your top, Helen - is this for wisdom? We hope so. We hope so! Well, let's see, because you're playing for a place in the semifinals. We want lots of wisdom. Best of luck to you both. Let's play Hive Minds. All the answers are hidden in a hive which looks like this. And if the answer to my question was, "What are the names of this week's teams?", you'd be looking for... And as you can see, answers use adjoining cells, can go in any direction. And no cell is used more than once. In round one, as you are looking for answers, after two seconds, letters start to disappear, and as they do, the points go down. So the faster you answer, the more you score. Be careful - we've laid a few false trails, we've set a few traps. So, Lutrophiles, here's your first question. Buzz in when you think you've found the answer. Reveal the hive. Grimsby. Or... Is Grimsby there? Ooh, I'm not sure it is. No. What else is there? Cleethorpes? Oh, yes! There, go for it. For four points, what's your answer? Cleethorpes. Show me your first letter. Let's see if you're right. Cleethorpes in Lincolnshire, very well done. And Skegness, do you remember? What's the famous catchphrase for Skegness? It's so bracing. It's so bracing! Slogan on the Great Northern Railway poster. OK, Araucarians, let's bring you into the game. Reveal the hive. Birds? Birds? Is birds...? No, it's not in there. No. Frogs? Is birds not in there? No. Frogs isn't there. Medea? For three points now. Hejira? No, that's not... Down to two. Anything we can guess? No. One... Medusa? Anything like that? No. One point. No, I'm going to throw it over to you, Lutrophiles for a bonus point? Hejira? Hejira? I'm not even going to ask you to show me a first letter, because I know that's wrong. The answer you are after was... ALL: Oh! Oh, you know it now! So, the Aristophanes play Clouds - Aristophanes, of course, the Greek writer - he wrote it in... Does anyone know the date? Come on! 423 BC! I can't believe you didn't know that! And the Joni Mitchell album Clouds, Best-known track? Both Sides Now. Both Sides Now, great album. OK, Lutrophiles, we're back with you. Reveal the hive. Was Liston, Frazier...? Careful. No, Liston's not there. Frazier... Foreman? No, not sure it is. Or is it? For three points now. Holmes, is it Larry Holmes? Holmes is there. OK. Your answer? Holmes. Show me your first letter. Let's see if you're right. Holmes, Larry Holmes, correct. Brilliant. 1980 at Caesar's Palace. Ten rounds, but Holmes beat Muhammad Ali. Do you know who Holmes was in relation to Ali? He was his former sparring partner. OK, Araucarians, over to you. Reveal the hive. Right. Kangaroo, wallaby... Kangaroo isn't there. Is wallaby? Wombat? No. Kookaburra, possum? Possum... No. For three points now. Wallaby... Could be a bird of some sort. Dingo? Dingo? Dingo... No, there's no Dingo. One point. Echidna, echidna! Ooh, in the nick of time! Your answer? Echidna? Echidna, show me your first letter. Let's see if you're right. Yes, indeed, in the nick of time. What is an echidna? It sort of scuttles a bit. It scuttles a bit? ! It's a spiny anteater. That's what I was going to say... Of course you were! Of course you were. It's on the five cent coin. It's a monotreme isn't it? It's a monotreme, an egg-laying mammal. Geniuses, I'm surrounded by geniuses. OK, where are we so far? Araucarians, you're on one, welcome to the game. Lutrophiles, you're racing ahead at the moment with seven. You know what's going to happen now, it's going to get a bit harder. Because now I'm looking for two answers, and you must spot both to score the point. Lutrophiles, are you ready? Reveal the hive. Picasso... Picasso's there, is Spain there? It might not be. No. I don't think it is. It's not. Brack? No. France isn't there. For three points. Maybe look for countries. Belgium? No. No... No... Hungary, or...? What's the country? It must be something? Yes indeed, it must be something, but you haven't found it. I'm going to throw it over for a bonus point to the Araucarians? Oh, yes, I've got the country. We think it's Chagall and... Belarus? Show me your first letters. Let's see if you're right. Yes you are. Chagall and Belarus. Chagall, one of the leading artists of the 20th century, came from Belarus. Settled in France. Anyone know the town he was born in a Belarus? Minsk? Vitebsk! And whenever he did his paintings, he said, "Whenever I paint, "I'm thinking of Vitebsk." Anyway, there you are. Araucarians, we're with you. Reveal the hive. One of them's oxygen? Oxygen's not there. I know. Fluorine. Sodium, sodium's there. What else... For three points. Sodium's not there. Yeah, it is, it's down here. No, it doesn't, the I doesn't... Carbon... Argon... No. I'm going to throw it over to you, Lutrophiles, for a bonus point? We think it's calcium and boron. Show me your first letters. Let's see if you're right. Yes indeed. Bonus points for you, Lutrophiles, there. We're still with you. Reveal the hive. Norfolk and... Arundel? Is Arundel and Norfolk left? Let's see... Not sure it is. No. Bedford and... Nope. Have we got Beaufort? Beaufort and...? Gloucester, is it? Beaufort And Longleat? No. Beaufort and Bath? Quick! Your answers? Beaufort and... I heard you say it. Beaufort and Bath, that's what you said. Yes. So, Beaufort is there... Show me your first letters. And presumably, Bath... But that doesn't work. That doesn't work. You haven't found the right answers. I'm going to throw it over to Araucarians for a bonus point? We think it's Beaufort and Minton. Beaufort and Minton, show me your first letters. Let's see if you're right? I know you're not. It is Beaufort and Badminton. ALL: Oh! Oh, it's so obvious now! The Badminton Horse Trials, of course. The Horse Trials are held on the estate every year. Araucarians. Reveal the hive. Wojtyla? Erm... No. Too obvious, isn't it? Or is Ratzinger...? No. Yes, Ratzinger's in there. Is he in there? Yes. For three points. No he's not, is it? Yes! Who is he? Benedict. He was the last one, Benedict. Your answers? Ratzinger and Benedict. Show me your first letters. Yeah... And that one? I guess so? Let's see if you're right? Correct, for two points. Now there's something rather interesting about Pope Benedict and the current Pope, do you know what it is? He's the last one to resign for a long time. For about 600 years. And so you have a situation where we have a Pope who's resigned, and you've also got a Pope, who's Pope Francis. So Pope Benedict is now known as Pope Emeritus. So for the first time in about 600 years, we have two popes who are alive at the same time. Right, where are we at the end that round? Lutrophiles, eight points, very well done. Araucarians, you're on four. It's round two, and you'll each face two hives containing three answers relating to a specific topic. You've 45 seconds to complete each hive and score a maximum five points. So Team Lutrophiles, you're in the lead, you get to choose first from... So, choose your topic first of all. Physics or Geography? Geography could be a lot of things. Shall we go with physics? OK. OK, I think we'll do physics, please. You've chosen physics, and we now reveal exactly what you'll be looking for. You'll have ten seconds to confer as a team, and then you answer on your own. Remember, you've got two passes, but the one wrong answer and your team will be locked out of the hive. So, you've chosen physics as a topic. You are looking for electrical components. You've got ten seconds to confer. Ammeter... Diode, transistor... Ohmmeter... Transformer. Batteries, Capacitor... Bulb. Capacitor, yes. Resistor... Time's up. Ned, we're going to start with you. You have 45 seconds, two passes should you need them. You're looking for electrical components, reveal the hive. Transistor. Transistor, correct. Oliver. You can pass. Pass. Marianne. One pass left. 20 seconds. One pass left. Diode. Diode, correct. Ned. Pass. Oliver. Oh... Out of time. You found two answers... And what you are looking for was transformer. This is the stuff you know, guys, isn't it? Difficult to find in the hive, though. Not particularly. Not that kind of physics. Not electronics. Well, not bad then, in that case. You got two points, well done. Team Araucarians, over to you. Which topic would you like? We have left... We're good on... Music's not good for any of us, is it? No. Well, maybe me. I work in technology. Technology, yeah. Go for it. Technology. You've chosen technology. You're looking for typefaces. You've ten seconds to confer. Typefaces? Helvetica, Comic Sans, Garamond, Arial, Times New Roman... Helvetica - we've had that. Yeah. Courier... Time's up. Simon, at the far end, we're going to start with you. You're looking for typefaces. You've got 45 seconds, two passes, remember. Reveal the hive. Helvetica. Helvetica. Press the letter? Correct. Simon. 30 seconds. Two passes remaining. 20 seconds... Pass. Pass, Helen. Courier. Courier? Correct. Simon. Ten seconds, one pass left. Five seconds. No, you're out of time. Simon, you could've passed if you couldn't see it. I did say. One pass left. You were concentrating... It wouldn't have helped. It wouldn't have helped! All right. OK, let's see what you got. Courier, which is the standard typeface for writing plays. And is the default setting in Hollywood. You also found Helvetica. Do you know where that was developed? Switzerland? Switzerland. So it's a sort of, appropriately enough, kind of neutral typeface. What could you have got? Do you know that typeface? Oh, yes! I would have thought you would, actually. Tell me? I use it in day-to-day life. You must do. Invented by Microsoft for their Windows operating system. So, you got two out of a maximum five. Which means you're trailing the Lutrophiles, you're on six, They're on ten. Team Lutrophiles, your turn again. Which topic would you like? We are left with... Shall we go for Geography now? I say go for Geography. All right. I think we'll go for Geography, please. Geography, that was an easy decision. You're looking for waterfalls. You have ten seconds to confer. Dettifoss, Angel... Horseshoe... Niagara... Is it, Orinoco? Something like that? Time's up. Cameroon. -Marianne, we're going to start with you. You have 45 seconds, two passes, you're looking for waterfalls. Reveal the hive. Dettifoss. Dettifoss. Correct. Ned. Is that there? 30 seconds. You can pass. Is that...? Pass. Pass. Oliver? Pass. Marianne? No passes left. 15 seconds. Time up. Well, that was quite hard for you guys? Yeah. So what you got for one point was Dettifoss. In Iceland. According to myth, created by the hoof of Odin's eight-legged horse. What you could have got... Victoria Falls, on the border between Zambia and Zimbabwe. And Iguazu, located on the border of Brazil and Argentina. At the end of that you scored one point. Lutrophiles, you're on 11, Araucarians are on four. Team Araucarians, we have two topics left, which will you choose? Well... Music is iffy. SO not our thing! Neither is Food and Drink, really. We didn't even get the Joni Mitchell. Oh, don't, yeah. Food and Drink. Food and Drink, OK. I can tell you you will be looking for cocktails. You have ten seconds to confer. OK! Single word ones. Single ones... Mojito, screwdriver... Erm... Time's up. I didn't hear a lot of cocktails there. Are you not big cocktail drinkers? They are. These two love them! But we like two-word cocktails! That's a bit inconvenient then. Yeah! Simon, in the middle, we're going to start with you. You have 45 seconds, remember those passes. You're looking for cocktails. Reveal the hive. Mojito. Mojito, correct. Helen. Screwdriver. BUZZER Oh, you are locked out of the hive! With 32 seconds left to go, and two passes to go! You wanted to get screwdriver there, but you can't quite get it, because there's no R. Bad luck. You've got one point for mojito. Let's see what else you could have got. A sidecar - cognac, Cointreau lemon juice, sugar, syrup. And you could also found Negroni. Don't think I've ever heard of it. Gin, red vermouth, Campari, garnished with an orange peel? I bet you could do with one now? LAUGHTER So, at the end of that, you had one point, that's taken you to seven. The Lutrophiles are on 11. In round three you're faced with a super-hive. You're looking for a number of answers that fit a certain category, but your challenge is to use every letter to find one, perfect solution. Team Lutrophiles, we're kicking off with you. Would you like the A hive, or the B hive? I think go we'll choose the A hive. You're choosing the A hive. You are looking for... You have two minutes, reveal the hive. So... You've got... Cowdrey's maybe somewhere? Yep, yep, yep. So, who've we got? Gower. Hang on, you've got Brearley. Gower... That's clashing with Brearley. Put the other Y for Cowdrey. Oh, OK. Put the other Y. There we are. And then put Brearley round it. Right. So then you can... You can't get Gower. Botham's not there, presumably. Yes, that clashes with... Have you got Hussain there? Oh, yes. Who else is there? Come on, Marianne - say some other ones. OK... Or the other I in there. So what could this be? Lillis, could this be? Illis? Willis, or...? What could that be? Have we got the wrong I in there, because it's...? Or Willy... Is Storey one? No. Harmison, or... No. What other ones are there then? There's Vaughan... Atherton should be in there. But I can't see it. Oh, Pietersen! Pietersen round here. Oh, I see. Yeah, OK. Oh, yes. One minute to go. What's this then? Illingworth. Ah, yes. I see. And then up there. Yep, yep. And that leaves... May. May, that sounds plausible. And that gives... Stewart. Yes. Alec Stewart. You've got it. You were on fire! Marianne, are you the big cricket fan? Yeah. Cos they were, "Come on, Marianne - say some names!" You were coming out with them, one after the other. Very well done for a full ten points. You certainly know your cricket. Let's go through the names as you put them in. First of all you put in Cowdrey, Colin Cowdrey. And you spotted you hadn't got that quite in the right order. Brearley, Mike Brearley, captain during Botham's famous Headingley Ashes. Hussain, Nasser Hussain. Pietersen, Kevin Pietersen. Illingworth, Ray Illingworth. May, Peter May. And finally Stewart, Alec Stewart. And you didn't fall for any of our red herrings - Botham, Gower, Strauss, Willis. Didn't go for any of those. Full ten points, very well done. Team Araucarians - are you ready? I hope so. I can tell you you will be looking for... You've two minutes, reveal the hive. Right. There's Kil...mar...nock. Along the top. I don't think that's a red herring, because it's right in the corner. So let's pick that one out. Have you got Blane? Is that Oban? Let's try and think of small places. Dumbarton, is Dumbarton in there? No. Is there Dun-anything? Dumfries? Dumfries? That sort of works around that edge. Yes, it does, you're right. Let's go for that. Enter. Cum...? Cumbernauld? Cumber... Yes, that goes all the way around there. There's Ayr. No, hang on, Cumber... Oh, that way, oh yes! So, around there. Cumber... And then... This has got to be Air... Airdrie? ..drie? What does that leave us? That leaves this Igle down the bottom . Let's go for that now, and see what happens. Bung that one in now. And... It might be the red herring. What's going on down here? Nigle? 50 seconds. No, that's not working, is it? I don't... I'm wondering whether... Aberdeen? Aberdeen! Aberdeen... I think... That would put... 30 seconds. We'd have to have a lot wrong if it were going to be Aberdeen. I think that's a red herring. What's this Y for then? Something-dray? 20 seconds. Bay? There's Ayr... No. Yeah! Yes, Ayr, yes. You said that before. No, no! Not an E. Oh, just... OK. I think this is probably wrong here, but... Den... Beds... Time's up. You were so close. You found five answers. Let's take a look on them. Kilmarnock, south-west of Glasgow. Dumfries, in southern Scotland. Cumbernauld, you'll know that from your tax return, I imagine. Airdrie, North Lanarkshire. Ayr - you were trying to work out what that rogue Y was, and it was Ayr, south-west of Glasgow. So you got five answers there. They're all places in Scotland. They are all part of the perfect solution. You nearly put Aberdeen in there, that would have scuppered you. But let's see what you could have got to get the full ten points. Elgin. Now, what were you calling Elgin there? Igle. Igle! What's that Igle? Elgin. And Bearsden. Bearsden, a suburb of Glasgow. That's what you needed to get the perfect solution. Nonetheless, you got five points - not half bad. At the end of the round, Araucarians, you're on 12, Lutrophiles you're leaping ahead - like the otters that you are - on 21. We're at the final round for a place in the semifinal. Araucarians, you can still catch up. This is the buzzer round, this time the hives are filled with answers. If you pay attention, you might see an answer to a question you haven't even heard yet. Are you ready? Fingers on buzzers. Reveal the hive. Araucarians. Mellors. Mellors. One point. From Lady Chatterley's Lover. Araucarians. Tablet. Tablet, correct for one point. Lutrophiles. Drabble? Drabble, correct for one point. Margaret Drabble Paris, is it? No. London's not there... Come on. Out of time. You're looking for Barcelona. ALL: Oh! We can all sigh now! Too late! Rabbit. Is it there? Maybe not. Hare? Araucarians. Rabbit. Rabbit, correct, one point. Is Cratchit there? Cratchit. Araucarians. Cratchit, Bob Cratchit, correct, one point. Refresh the hive. The Araucarians. Alderney. Alderney, correct, one point. Araucarians. Dolcelatte. Dolcelatte, correct. Inching ever closer to the Lutrophiles. Lutrophiles. Clovis. Clovis, correct, for one point. Animals? Yeah... I don't know any. What other ones? Anyone? Araucarians. Meddle. Meddle. If anyone was going to get it, you were going to get it, Simon. For one point. McIlroy... Is there a J? Yeah. Araucarians. Faldo. Faldo, Nick Faldo, correct, one point. Pasteur? Lavoisier? I think it's there, yeah. Araucarians. Lavoisier. It is Lavoisier. Well done, Helen. Antoine Lavoisier, correct. Well! I don't know about you, that was absolutely nailbiting! Araucarians, you were breathing hot on the heels of you, Lutrophiles. Lutrophiles, you have won with 23. Araucarians, a valiant effort with 21, very well done. That means Lutrophiles, you're the winners, you go through to the semifinal, congratulations. Araucarians, bad luck, but valiantly played, my goodness me. Join us for more brilliance and bewilderment - and excitement! - in Hive Minds next time. But before we go, here's one for you just at home. Find a US city that, if you subtract four letters, becomes a type of curry. Bye-bye. Welcome to Hive Minds, the quiz where simply knowing the answers isn't enough. You've got to find them as well. Let's meet this week's hive minds. Lutrophiles, introduce yourselves, please. I'm Ned, a professional gambler on football from Northamptonshire. I'm Oliver, I'm a designer from Surrey. I'm Marianne, I'm a quantitative analyst from London. Pascallywags, over to you. Hello, I'm Rob and I'm from Torquay. My name's Andy, I'm a data analyst from London. And my name's Dorian, I'm a private mathematics and English tutor from Bath. Well, welcome to both of you, these are pretty esoteric names for teams, I have to say. Lutrophiles, a love of...? Otters. Why? Er, I was badgered into it. THEY LAUGH Go on, why have you chosen otters? There has to be some reason. I quite like otters really, and I pushed for it a bit. They really like otters too, but they're just pretending they're indifferent. I was told that it was a lover of Paris. But I think that's a Lutetia-phile. My goodness! And Pascallywags, why is that? Well, because the two of us over here studied mathematics and we have a philosopher to my right and Pascal was a very famous and influential mathematician and philosopher. Blaise Pascal? Yes, indeed. Rob, I have to ask you because a little bird told me that as a teenager you had lessons in lion taming. I did. So what did you learn? I didn't learn an awful amount. Or an awful lot, to be honest. But I had a couple of informal lessons. And did you ever get into the ring with them? No, I'm afraid not. I always stayed outside the cage. And what's the most important thing a lion tamer needs to know? More than the lion. More than the lion, I'll say. Well, we are in esteemed company, welcome to you both. Let's play Hive Minds. All the answers are hidden in a hive which looks like this. And if the answer to my question was, "What are the names of this week's teams?" you'd be looking for Lutrophiles, that's how you spell it and Pascallywags, and as you can see, answers use adjoining cells, they can go in any direction and no cell is used more than once. In round one, as you're looking for answers in the hive, after two seconds letters will start to disappear and as they do, the points go down. So the faster you answer, the more you score but be careful, we've set a few traps. We've laid a few false trails. So, Pascallywags, here's your first question, buzz in when you think you've found the answer. You are looking for a UK motorway service area that shares its name with a 17th-century battle. Reveal the hive. Agincourt... 17th century, never mind. Hang on, so... 17th-century battle... Nasby? Oh, Naseby. Is that...? I can see it. What's your answer? -Naseby. -Show me your first letter. No, I'm afraid Naseby is a battle but not a service station. -Oh. So I can throw it over to you, Lutrophiles, let's see what you would have been left with. For one bonus point, do you know it? Edgehill. I'm afraid not. Edgehill is also a battle, not a service station. I can't think why but your knowledge of service stations just isn't that great! The answer was Battle of Sedgemoor, climax of the Monmouth Rebellion, 1685. The last pitched battle on English soil. The battle between the Duke of Monmouth and troops loyal to King James II. So no points to either of you, I'm afraid. OK, Lutrophiles, let's see if you can do better. You are looking for... Reveal the hive. -What is it? THEY CONFER Casterbridge... Wilkinson, Johnson, is it any of those? What Thomas Hardy novels are there? Three points now. Greenwood Tree. Oh, yeah, Greenwood. Your answer? Greenwood. For the three points, let's see if you are correct. Yes, indeed. Will Greenwood, who played centre in the 2003 World Cup final against Australia. And the novel? Under The Greenwood Tree. By Thomas Hardy. Excellent. Very well done. OK, Pascallywags - I might just have to call you Wags, actually, because that's such a mouthful. Wags, over to you. You're looking for a... Reveal the hive. Mendeleev. But is it in there? Yes! Your answer? Mendeleev. Mendeleev. Show me your first letter. For five points, let's see if you're correct. Yes, indeed, Mendeleev, who created a periodic table of elements in 1869, Mendel after Gregor Mendel, father of genetics. Tell me what was so brilliant about Mendeleev. Not only did he create a periodic table, but also... Is it the fact that he left gaps for unknown elements? Exactly, he was such a genius that he left gaps, he knew that there were things he didn't know, that there were properties he didn't know but he did actually suggest what those properties could be, he left five gaps and three of them later were discovered. Gallium, scandium, germanium. There we go. Lutrophiles, over to you, you are looking for... Reveal the hive. Erotica. Have you found it? Yes. That was so quick. Your answer? Eroica. Eroica. Show me your first letter. Let's see if you're right. So, Eroica, Beethoven's Third Symphony and Erotica, one of Madonna's more memorable albums, forgettable albums, what do we think? It does have that song about Bill Oddie. Does it? Yes. It's a mondegreen, it's not actually what it is... "Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, put your hands all over my body..." Oh... THEY LAUGH Well done, you got the full five points for that, so, so far, Lutrophiles, you're in the lead with eight. Wags, not too far behind with five. This time, I'm looking for two answers to get the points. Wags, over to you. Find... Reveal the hive. I can see femur there... But I can't see leg... Thigh... Thigh... Femur... No, there's no thigh. So, er, clavicle... Three points now. Shoulder is there. Shoulder. Shoulder and... What's the...? Scapula! Yeah. Your answers? It's shoulder and scapula. Show me your first letters. For two points... Scapula and shoulder, very well done, excellent. Lutrophiles, over to you. Find... What have we got? Minerva and Athena? Are they there, though? Minerva and... Oh, where's Athena? Athena... It could be a distraction. Athena... Yes. Three points now. Your answers? Athena and Minerva. Let's see if you're right. Athena, well done, Minerva, well done. So, Athena the Greek goddess of...? Wisdom. Wisdom, arts, crafts and later, war. I mean, you were there straightaway. You just couldn't find them. OK, Wags, over to you. Find... Reveal the hive. THEY CONFER ALL: Erm... I can't see any at all. For three points now... For two... I don't see any. No. Running out of time. Wags, you're out of time, you are stumped, I'll throw it to you, Lutrophiles, for a bonus point. Fishguard and Rosslare. Show me your first letters. Rosslare and there's Fishguard. Let's see if you're right. Correct. Rosslare, Republic of Ireland, Fishguard in Wales, very well done. I actually have taken that route on a ferry before. You've taken that route on a ferry before? That was so easy for you! Right, OK, Lutrophiles, over to you. Find... Reveal the hive. Kissinger, Nixon... Can you see Clinton and Albright? Clinton and Albright? Clinton... Actually, no, have we got two Ls to get it? Is Albright there? Yes. Very good, for three points, your answers? Albright and Clinton. Let's see if you're right. Wow, Albright and Clinton. Marianne, you were right on that. I was hoping it was going to be that before it came up. I don't know why. Those were the first two that came into your mind? So obviously Bill Clinton and Madeleine Albright was his Secretary of State in his second term. Do you know what she famously said about women who don't help other women? "There are is a special place in hell for women who don't help "other women." What a gal! Right, so where are we at the end of that round? Lutrophiles, very good with 15, New shoes? Have you jogged in them yet? Judging by your rash. No, you haven't. No cream residue. You've been scratching, right? It's itchy, doc. So I have to scratch it, right? If I scratch, my itch will go away, right? Wrong! The more you scratch, the itchier you get. The more your lesions will get worse. And the bedtime pill, you didn't take either, right? If I didn't take them, you can tell? No. But based on what you just said. I know you didn't. And how is your penis? Doc, you don't miss a thing, do you? I'm really upset. What you ask is too hard. It's like asking me to become a monk. This... Who sleeps at 9PM anyways? In my profession, it's impossible. What I am asking you to do isn't hard. It is hard. Do you sleep at 9PM? Or you work 24 hours? Yes. No weekends off? Nope. Wait...not even on Sunday? Why take Sunday off? You need money that bad? It's not about money, doc. Let me explain. The freelance industry is very tough. Whatever work comes in, we have to take it. Or someone else will. And if I don't take the job, they won't hire me next month. My calendar will be empty. I'll be jobless. Hire someone to help? Get help. Then they will call and give it to that person instead. And the other thing is when they call they want me to do the job. So I should be the one doing it. Do you think your body will stop at just a rash? It's just getting started. F*ck you body. Don't scratch. Do you have a nickname? Yoon. Yoon. I'm Imm. We're around the same age, so let's be friends. When I'm treating someone, I take it very seriously. I think you also take things seriously too. So we should be able to understand each other. Because when I treat someone and that patient doesn't get better, it's like I'm doing a bad job. You know what I mean? You may wonder... why I ask you all kinds of personal questions that seem like none of my business, but... just trust me, I really do care. Think of this as a partnership. Nice working with you. Shit you're so screwed man. And if next time you aren't any better, I'm going to get you for real. See you next month. Bye. Hey no need to do that. We're friends now. Don't scratch. It's perfect already. Just check and send. You'll miss your bedtime. Huh? Damn her nail is broken. F*ck it's almost 9PM. You take long showers so you need spare time. Damn you also have to apply cream. Stop being paranoid. No one will notice it. This tiny. Enough. Done. Stop. Save. Send. Sleep. Just hit Command-s. Save. Sent it. Hey did you finish this too quickly? I'm that cool. Yeah yeah. Too late to fix. Sent it already. Turn off the computer. Turn off the computer. Turn off the computer. Turn off the computer. Turn off the computer. Damn it. You shook her hand once. Now you're all messed up inside. That's the bravest you've been in 7 years. The last time you were in bed before 9 was 7th grade. Lord Buddha Lord Buddha Lord Lord Hold on. I have another deadline on Wednesday, right? Damn it. 7 hours gone with the wind. I should have fixed the nail. Shit! I'm lying down but can't sleep. Her nail is still broken. Forget it. No one will see it. But if you can see it, someone else might too! How could you send such crappy work like that? Shit her nail is broken. If you try too hard to sleep, you can't sleep. If you want to fall asleep, don't try so hard. But her nail is broken. Just sleep! Actually we can stop thinking... Shit! But her nail is broken! Stop thinking of stop thinking already! Excuse me. The hell kind of machine? This heavy, who the hell can lift it? Damn! Hey do you need any help? I am coming for you. I'm gonna get you. You damn rash! Wait. Shit I forgot to turn on my cell phone. Je Damn it. 57 missed calls. Did a client die? What's up? Sup? Didn't you call me? Never mind. Never mind? Just tell me why you called? Nothing. The Girls Group's cover, I noticed a nail was broken. But I already got Jerd to fix it. So it's ok. Hey! You sent my work to Jerd. That really sucks. C'mon it was just a little job. Little? Any newbie can do it. It will make no difference. How can you say that, Je? No difference? It was a simple little job. Be reasonable. You turned off your mobile for half a day. What was I supposed to do? I had to fix it. You weren't here. Are you seeing someone now? The hell! Have you ever seen me with a girl? No. But if you do, that's cool. But turning off your cell phone. That's too much. Normally you're more professional than this, you know? It's good that I noticed it first. How could you miss that? Even I noticed it. "Normally you're more professional than this, you know?" Shit! It's not going away. Not better. So tired. A waste of time. What am I doing? Hold on. Shit! November. There are less spots, doc. Rash: 31 spots 1 or 2 spots doesn't count as better. But at least it's less. Thank you. Did you do exactly as I told you? Yes. Really? Yes. So what went wrong? Let me ask you more personal questions. I need to find out more. What's your favorite food? Shrimp dumplings from 7-Eleven. Your favorite food is from 7-Eleven? Nothing else to eat at night. And it tastes good. They also have rice balls. Are you joking? I'm not joking. They really have them. Then on your free days, what do you do? Whoa that's hard to answer. No, it isn't. How about movies, music, the mall, and the beach? Nothing? Everything you said is a waste of time. How is that entertaining? Go to the mall, to do what? To buy clothes? I don't buy any. You don't buy any clothes at all? I can still wear my old ones. If I go there, I got to shop around. I'm too lazy to choose. You can go out, just to hang out. It's fun. What do you mean, "go out just to hang out?" Go out just to hang out you know? I don't get it. What are you saying? Sometimes I think you are messing with me. I'm not messing with you. Why would I do that? What do you find entertaining? Hmm... Thinking of new projects. Hey that is work. No. Work is when someone hires us to do something. This is thinking of stuff to do on our own. Then how about sports? Sports? I like to play badminton but I have no one to play with. You don't meet up with your friends at all? I meet them sometimes at funerals and weddings. But I can't really invite anyone out, since my schedule always changes. Do you have a girlfriend? Dang! This has anything to do with my rash? Seriously. Some people think there is no link, but a patient's lifestyle has an effect on their disease. And if I don't, what is your medical opinion on having one or not? It actually depends on the person. Some people have one and it's good, but for some, it's bad. Like being so co-dependent you flunk your test. You are like a detective. I'm close to identifying the bad guy. You already know half my life story. Some of your questions even my mom has never asked. Are you saying I'm nosy? No. Why would I say that, doc? You should get more sleep, doc. How do you know I didn't? I am an expert on this. Just looking at your eyes, I can tell. Lately, I have exams. I recommend Redbull mixed with coffee. You can stay awake until dawn. And that's good? It's okay. It's not like we're 20 anymore. Back then, staying up 2 nights was nothing. But in our 30's, our body starts breaking down. How long can you stay awake? 5 days. Like the X-men. It's my special power. But I'm okay. I feel totally fine. I can do it, doc. It's... necessary. I think you should stop. This is my profession, how can I stop? If you can't stop, can you do less? I can't. But... I see other freelancers, they don't work this hard. For normal freelance people that is true. But I feel I can do more. So why do I... have to be like other normal people? I think your rash not going away has nothing to do with your job. Make sure you take the bedtime pill. I did. If you did, you'd be complaining about being sleepy. Shit! What do you think? See! It's okay. It's as good as if you did it. Actually, Jerd is like you 5-6 years ago. People are saying he is Yoon 2, you know? So why did you ask me to come? Wasting my time. Adidas Japan. I'll do it! Shit doc, I'm sorry. That was automatic. Good. You get to work on an international brand finally. I know you've been dying for this. You know how hard it was to land this? I need your best this time. What's up with you? Are you possessed? No, I was just thinking if I had anything else to do? If you do, make sure to clear your schedule. Make sure this is your first priority. If you do this well, there are more jobs coming. Doc, don't worry. I won't break my promise. Hey... You can't charge your laptop here. Sir, I really need to download some work. Just a little while? Yes. This medicine may make you sleepy. I'm taking it doc. Shit! Damn it! Only half an hour left. Are you done? Here. Thank you. Just half for now. Tomorrow morning I will send you the rest. You haven't finished it yet? This is a big project. Je, what are you doing? I'm calling Jerd. Why are you calling him? Tomorrow you will get it. Yoon. Je, don't call. Send it now or we're screwed. Je, stop dialing. You have another 50% to finish. It's not... Doesn't matter. I will finish it. But it isn't, see? I'm finishing it. Hello Jerd. This is Je speaking. Yes. Are you free now? I've got a job for you. It's for Adidas. You can, right? So you're free? Okay. Where are you now? Okay, I will send you the file. Bye. Yoon. Save the file for me now. No, I won't. Yoon. No. This isn't the time to be afraid of losing a job. Have you lost it man? I'm not afraid. You are not afraid, huh? What do you call this? I said I'll send the rest tomorrow morning. You have another half. You won't make it in time. You taught me that freelance work is all about being responsible. If you can't make it, don't take the job, remember? But I will finish in time. Is this in time? Yeah. Seriously you think you can. But it's impossible. You have another 50%. I've been waiting for this job. I don't want it to go to someone else. Do you want me to beg? Je, please just this one time. Tomorrow I will send the rest. When you talk like this, what do you expect? Let's go Suchart. This medicine may make you sleepy. Bring it on bedtime pill! I'm not afraid of you. Kai, let's play badminton. Huh? Badminton. What? Hurry. Alright. Don't hit it left and right like that. I'm tired. What's with all this technique! Gosh! I'm so beyond this bedtime pill. December. Number 190. Number 190. Number 190. Next number 191. Je, I sent it. I really hate you sometimes. You always have it your way. Okay thank you. I will send it in. You still have time to see me? I've been standing here for a while now. I feel like I'm making life hard for you. Seriously, why are you here? I'm trying very hard, doc. This is trying? Yes. It's spread to your ear now, you know that? Rash: 50 spots If on the outside it's like this, the inside is probably worse. I understand doc but... I've been dying to do this job. And it finally arrived. You want me to turn it down? Opportunities like this come once in a life time. But you only have one life, right? That's right. We got one life, so we should do what we want to do. And do the best we can. You look like you aren't afraid of dying. You just said that we only have one life, right? So we should find what makes us happy, right? And what I do makes me happy. I don't feel tired doing it. So I work hard and I'm wrong? And everyone has to die anyways, right? You're a doctor. You should know that. You obviously know little about dying. I might know more than you. That's why I'm not afraid. Hold up. I've met other people who talk like you. They don't have anyone in their lives to care about. Are you one of those people? I think your diagnosis has gone too far now. Being called out nosy is actually quite harsh. I didn't mean it like that. Okay. It's a doctor's duty to never turn a patient away. So I got to continue treating you. Sorry for wasting your time. You still have the medicine, right? Here. Next time if you want to change doctors, you can. Just inform them at the counter. Never felt lonely. Because I have me, myself to care. Damn, so music video of you. Up yours. What's wrong? Are you sick? No. You sure? You want to see a doctor? Damn. To say sorry I have to wait another month. Yoon. Yoon. Yoon. Yoon. Yoon, he said the crack doesn't look good. It looks retouched. The photo is unrealistic. Okay. One more thing I am sorry to bring this up, but you forgot to erase the finger of the guy who's lifting the athlete's leg. Shit! Don't try to make any excuses. Shitty work is shitty work. Shitty work because you suck! No excuses will do. Yoon. Yoon. Are you listening? Yeah. About Adidas. The 2nd lot. The set with the girl, they want to take a break. Who's doing it then? Nobody. It's just a break. Just a break? No such thing. Who is doing it, Je? Jerd. Hello Peng. Hey, I heard you lost it? You heard about that? Even though I'm in another office, when Je got chewed out, I knew about that. Accidents happen sometimes. But some people who are hit by car once are handicapped for the rest of their lives. Working freelance, you must always do good work. Or be jobless before you know it. I know I suck. C'mon. Think on the bright side. At least during New Year this time you can relax at home like everyone else. It will be a new experience for you. Anyway, I got to go. I got a briefing. Bye. Happy holidays. You ready to be happy for once? From today lots of people start traveling home. And plan to travel around here and abroad. Only the first day, I'm already going insane. Damn I'd die for a job now. Your mail sir. Happy New Year son. Stay healthy, and take good care of yourself. Mom. PS. The photo I asked you to retouch, when will I get it? It's not that kind of work, mom. Shoot Je! Shoot what? Umm... What's up? I'm off to Japan. You want anything? You? To Japan? To do what? My boyfriend surprised me. Going to countdown to the New Year there. Counting down at Central World would be the same? Just as boring. You want to say that to my boyfriend? You're leaving now? Yeah, boarding soon. So you want anything? I don't know. No. Just go. Have fun. Alright. Happy New Year in advance. Happy New Year. Je. Jerd Pantagan "Working over New Year's Eve is the highlight of my life". #Haven't slept for 5 days. Damn! How the hell did I get to this point? The point where my whole calendar is blank. Oh wait, maybe I won't be free. Doctor's appointment. Excuse me. Do you have anything that is scientific, yet artsy. What do you want it for? I'm buying it as a New Year's gift. Royally inscribed stone monolith, 4,200THB. Sir Isaac Newton head, 2,900THB. Let me browse around first. Okay. This highlight needle pen has the perfect mix of science and art. First, place the box in the center of the paper. This activity is so 6th grade. But it's actually kind of fun. January. Number 133. Sawasdee Pee Mai (Happy New Year in Thai) Happy New... Sawasdee Pee Mai is better. Hello doc, Sawasdee Pee Mai. Umm doc, last month I'm... Number 134. Sorry... Damn your hands are freaking cold. Just like when you rode that roller coaster, right before it flipped upside down. I'm Assanai. Am I in the wrong room? No, you are not. Doctor Chonnikarn is doing rounds in the ward. Today let me check on your progress. That's okay. I can come back next month. Why? So I can be examined by Doctor Imm. She's handling my case. I'm following her treatment plan. She wrote down all your history. So your treatment plan is the same. C'mon. I studied the same specialty as Doctor Imm. I won't kill you. Let me see your arm. Here. It's a sore. How long has she been treating you? Half a year. Wow that's a long time. Doctor Imm's patients never get better. Stop bitching you chink. Chinky, stop chatting in Line. Focus on me a little? Here for you. Doctor Imm. Tell him if he has to stay awake, do not stay awake for more than 1 day. Take the bedtime pills. And get some rest. I feel the chemistry inside my body is changing. But I don't know what it is. Oh! Tell him, do not scratch. Doc.... I.... Hey, you're just supposed to read it. Can I please just reply her? Doc. I am sorry about last month. Read. Can I just read her reply? Happy New Year. Get some rest. Turn off your computer and go to the beach. See the sunrise or something. Same to you... That's enough. This is not an internet cafe. I must get some rest and relax. Doctor's orders. No turning back. Are these all the patterns you have? Whatever the pattern, they all float the same. But they aren't pretty. Fun. Yoon! Hella entertaining. What's next, doc? I didn't bring a computer with me. I'm sorry. The next time you call, I'll definitely do it for you. Please give me a call. Okay. How do people just lie around and do nothing? Doing nothing is totally useless. Dear Goddess Tubtim, even though I'm picky about my jobs lately, I still want some jobs to come in. Holy shit! I didn't even finish yet. Je give it to me. Hello Yoon, please come in to get the brief. Sure! The photo looks too cheap. Wedding photos are supposed to look more fancy, right? I want more classic, and hi class. I'm not doing it. Say what? You get back from the beach and you're indie now? Why now? I got knocked up. So my man proposed to me. No. Why did you have to quit too? I'm pregnant. He doesn't want me to work. You can still work even if you're pregnant. If I was pregnant, I would still work. You don't understand. I am having a baby, and it will affect the baby. If you play that card, there's nothing more to say. Why are you upset? I'm not upset. You told me we would work side by side forever. Yeah I did say that. I'm sorry. But you understand right? I don't. You can't do this to me. Are you really mad? You have no right to be mad! Why can't I? No. Listen and stop worrying. Your jobs won't disappear. I'll find a new person to take my place, okay? Why so mad? Because nobody can replace you. You can find someone better. But I don't want it. It's not you. For me, there is no Je 2. I'm sorry. No need to be sorry. It's my fault. I knew this day would come. I thought I'd be okay. But in reality, I can't take it. I am sorry too. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to leave you hanging. But there comes a time when we have to choose, right? And I just didn't choose work like you did. Can I ask you to do one thing for me? Even if there's no work, call me sometime. I'll call for sure. As soon as I give birth, you'll be the first person I call. Oh shit. I can't. I have to call my dad. Then I will call you 2nd. You go do whatever you want to do then. That photo I have lots of pimples. Erase them for me. No hurry. Your deadline is 2 days. Beyotch. Make my boobs a little bigger too. - Is this man the best you can do? - When did I have time? I'm always with you. Surprise proposal clip of Je and Shane. Wait. You have moment like this too, Je? How the hell is this a surprise? This is the most cliche thing in the world. Je. We've been together for many years. If you're so happy, you cry. Tomorrow I'll kick you in the head. Will you marry me? Alright. I'm sorry, I didn't cry. It's okay. Hold on. I'm crying. Shit! What the hell! February. How could you make the wrong diagnosis, doctor! ? This is a person's life, not some pig, dog, or chicken! You shouldn't be a doctor! Go do something else! Please calm down, sir. Calm down please. Doc. Here a New Year's present for you. Last time you didn't come. So I'm giving it to you now. Thank you. Let's have a look. Rash: 24 spots Better. See you again next month. Any medicine left just tell the pharmacist. Doc, I have something to tell... Doctor. Are you alright? I suck. I've been treating that man's nephew for so long. But he hasn't gotten better. In the end, I made the wrong diagnosis. Talk about bad luck, having me as your doctor. Maybe you should've gotten better sooner too. No one wants to waste time seeing a doctor, right? I am sorry. I.... I know I am not that good, but I try. I'm trying my best. Shit think of something to say to make her feel better. What should I say? And what the hell is wrong with me? Standing, eating this junk food with nitrates. As a kid I ate so much of this I went to the hospital. But if eating it makes you feel better, then it's okay. It's not standard medical practice but.. the better you feel the faster you heal. Shit, it rhymes. Sounds sweet like a poem. Am I seeing a doctor? Actually I just realized that being a doctor is tough. You have to say things that make patients feel better. I feel I've been a bad patient all this time. Feeling better? Yeah. Thank you so much. You aren't busy today? I'm not wasting your time, am I? I lost my job. I screwed up and word got out to the whole industry. No one wants to hire me. So I'm free everyday. I should say that's great, right? So you can rest. Okay? No more black circles around your eyes. I retouched under my eyes for you. I will erase the rash for you too doc. Actually our occupations have a lot in common. I don't know if you still want to die. But you are not allowed to, got it? You must get better. Okay? "The way you look at someone says more than words. And feelings sometimes cannot be explained." Shit! How did he come up with that? So warm and romantic. My work at the center of Shibuya #IloveAdidas #MomIdidit Jerd you make Thai people proud. Wow you've come a long way my friend. Congratulations bro. It looks like a funeral in black and white. My boyfriend wants it more dreamy. What do you mean dreamy? You know dreamy. The fact you took these at the park is lame. Don't tell me you want pink grass too. Just do it to make him happy. For real? Yup. Do you want jumping rabbits in the background? Okay if the client wants it, I'll do it. Being in relationship isn't a waste of time, really? It is. But I made my choice. Actually it's quite fun. I've learned new things. Learned what? Not telling. I don't want to spoil anything. Holding back on me now. I've learned how to love. How was that for a sweet answer? But don't you argue? It's a lot of hard work. Surprisingly it feels good. Weird huh? So did you hit it yet? Hell there's nothing to hit! Rash: 0 Shit! They're all gone! Shit. They're all gone. So I don't have to go see the doctor anymore? March. I thought you weren't coming. Why are you late today? Well I couldn't sleep last night. Oh! So you didn't take the bedtime pills? I did. But I still couldn't sleep. That's odd. So how are you today? Feeling better? Let's have a look. C'mon. This side. They're all dry. Let me check your neck. Wow they are all gone. Lift up your t-shirt. So there aren't anywhere else, right? All gone. So you are cured. Yes, I am. Why you sound like you knew it already? Oh that's why you didn't wear a jacket. You know if you're all better, you didn't have to come. Done. Congrats. So next month we won't see each other anymore. It's all good, doc. Thanks a lot. Hey... You are okay. It's all good. You understand. It's all good. Before you went you knew this would happen, right? So what's wrong with you now? Anyway, you're not going to see her anymore. Why do I feel like heartbroken, just like my 2nd year in college? But this time how can it be a broken-heart? It can't be. A relationship like this where... we meet for a few minutes a month, the doctor is just doing her job. There's nothing more to it. So how can I say that I'm heartbroken? But just now I said heartbroken 3 times. Shit. There is no way I'm heartbroken. You're way brokenhearted bro. It's not hard to tell. I've given you my diagnosis. No way. Why not? Sure. You have all the symptoms. You can't eat, or sleep. I know. I was a teenager once. But we didn't even pass go. But from what you've told me, you've gone far enough. Why did you drop all your work to go see her? You even asked me to play badminton to exercise. Right? I was sick. So I went to see a doctor. I exercised to get better. You did it so she would give you props. You did it for her. You wanted her to see you doing good things. You'll be ok because you want to be ok for her, right? Gosh bro, this isn't hard to understand! Love is like a disease. You can treat it. I will prescribe you some medicine. Here, shrimp dumplings. Just eat this yummy stuff you like. It will help. One more thing, you have to find something to do. So you won't be free to think too much. Working is good. Way back when I was like you broken-hearted. I almost flunked out of college. I kept working. Then forgot everything, even being broken-hearted. Stop being sad, no time for that. Just worked. It works! Songkran I am free. A 2-day deadline that's doable. Yes. Yes, sir. Hi everybody. I am back! Rash: 1 spot I've got my life back. Hello. Hello. This is Peng. Are you free? I have a job for you. I'm free. That's what I like about you. Driven. So let's meet up tonight. 9PM. Alright. I am really in a hurry. See you bro. Okay. This work is from my friend, Lisa. She's having a gallery exhibition in New York. Extremely urgent. And this is part of her exhibition. It's installation art. And it needs some retouching. Everything needs to be done quickly. It's so urgent that I thought of you first. On this planet, no one but you could finish it in time. Day 1 You have 2 weeks. But you must send an update every day. And Lisa will give you her feedback right the way. No problem. Kai. But this job, you must do solo. Because she is very paranoid about her work leaking. If you can do this job, the Shibuya job Jerd did will pale in comparison. When you're done, let's go to New York together. Day 2 Yes, Peng? I sent you the feedback for the previous lot already. Is this lot done? Not yet. Why are you so slow? You must work faster than this. Okay. Day 3 Isn't this going overboard, bro? Your body might fall apart. It's okay. I've been up for 5 days before. Kai. I'm really thankful that you told me to work. It really works. Shit. My head is so heavy. Day 4 Yoon. You accepted the job from Peng? Yeah. You know the scale of that job is 2 months of work. You've only got 2 weeks. And you accepted it! Yeah. You know even though I... I didn't screen it, you should have known better. Why did you take it? Peng always takes advantage of people. You're the only one who looks up to him. You know when he said that you're the first person he thought of. He lied! You know that? At least someone thinks of me, Je. Thought of you, that's f*cked up. He only cares about his job. So he sweet talked you into taking this job. - Je, I'm happy. - He asked you to do the work alone. - I am okay, got it? - You know how small our industry is? Are you... Day 6 Shit day 6 I've broken my record. Day 8 Day 9 Hello. Why didn't you pick up my calls? Done? We're out of time. Yes. Yes what? You need to hurry. You're falling behind you know that? Yes. Day 12 I've heard that people can stay up for 11 days. This is day 12. I've broken the world record. Where no one has gone before. This means more than a Cannes Lion award. We're born once, so we got to give it our all like this. I think... I've reached the apex of work now. If Peng could see me now, he would know I gave it my all. My chest hurts. It hurts badly. Body. You're so unreasonable. Let me do my work first? Only 2 photos left and I'm done. Shit. I can't breathe. Hey body. You really mean to get back at me now, right? Bring it on. I'm not afraid. Death is a natural thing for me. I used to think we should all design our own funerals. I want my funeral... to not be at a temple. It can be in this room. Just a nice coffin and flowers. I like TK a lot. Never seen them live. I would want them to sing at my funeral. I want them to sing the song 'Handkerchief'. It's a hit song so everyone can sing along. Guest list. Je Kai Pongsatorn Mom 4 people. That's it. Not many. I'm not sure whether I want the doctor to come or not. I am sorry, doc. I... I died. I broke my promise. But please don't be sad. It isn't your fault. Hey everyone at my funeral, you don't have to be sad. Death is natural. Just...feel a little bad. I won't get to see Je's baby's face. Kai I won't get to play badminton with you anymore. It was really fun that night. Shit! In the end, I forgot to retouch the photo for mom. Doc I didn't get to tell you about the beach. Actually, I wanted to say sorry about the other day. And... I wanted to talk to you again, even as just a friend. Shit! Actually I'm missing out on a lot. So the doctor told you not to die. Body. I am sorry. I surrender. But you won't forgive me, right? Goodbye everyone. Is this the last thing I see in this life? It isn't even beautiful. Hello Peng. Hey you. Don't call me a douchebag. But your job isn't finished. Just a little more. I asked Lisa to send one day late. If you get up now, you will finish it in time. You can work here. I brought your computer. There's WiFi too. This is why I told you not to call me a douchebag. But this is about finishing work and being responsible. Just a little bit more. Only 2 photos. If you finish this job, you can rest as many days as you want. And when you're done, we'll go to NYC together. Ok? So what did you say to him? I told him I want to sleep. Damn. Was Peng angry? He wasn't. Just told me to fuck off and change careers. Don't worry. I will find you some jobs. Will you do one thing for me? Don't do anything stupid like this again. I'm asking you as your best friend. Alright. Je. You have to have a baby. What? I came back from the dead just to see your kid's face. So you are free today? Yeah. I came to take care of you. I have so much to do. Number 116. Mr. Assanai why are you back? I thought you got better. I miss you. So I thought I'd visit. Yeah? Room 5 please. Number 117. That day if I thought of you only as a patient, I wouldn't have felt anything. But being that we're friends, I felt sad. So I hoped that you're feeling well. And I wouldn't have to see you again. I'm feeling well, doc. I just wanted to see you again. There is one thing I wanted to tell you. But I didn't get to tell you. When you told me to go to the beach, I really went there. I never thought I'd want to sit and watch the sunset. But you told me to. So I watched it that day. Honestly, seeing the sunset was a waste of time, but that day I don't know why, I... I sat there for hours. That day I felt like I could breathe easily. And I was happy. Just like every time I see you. Thank you very much, doctor. I thought you said you were feeling well. I hope next month we won't see each other again. FEDERALPROSECUTOR SAMELLISIS WIDELYEXPECTED TORUNFORHIGHEROFFICE. - WITH A "NOT GUILTY" VERDICT. - BUT A RESOLUTION ISEXPECTEDSHORTLY ONFEDERALCHARGES. THATELLISPLANSTOSEEK HIGHEROFFICE... FORELLIS,EVERYTHINGIS RIDINGONTODAY'SDECISION. TODAY'SDECISIONWILL EITHERLAUNCH - HIS POLITICAL CAREER... - ... PRESUMABLY BEGINNING WITHA RUN FORATTORNEYGENERAL. MR. ELLIS? YEAH. A COUPLE OF US ARRANGED THIS LITTLE DRINKS THING AT BLEND. WE'RE KIND OF ALL ASSUMING THAT YOU'LL BE THERE. DON'T WE HAVE TO WIN FIRST? THERE'S NO WAY YOU'LL LOSE. ALL RISE. DO YOU THINK SHERIFF HAUSSLER SHOULD BE GIVEN A LESSER SENTENCE GIVEN HIS RECORD OF PUBLIC SERVICE? AS I SAID AT THE TRIAL, JIM, THIS IS A BLACK-AND-WHITE ISSUE LEGALLY AND MORALLY. THERE SHOULD BE NO SPECIAL TREATMENT. AFTER TODAY'S VICTORY, DO YOU INTEND TO PURSUE CORRUPTION CHARGES AGAINST OTHER OFFICIALS - IN THE MAYOR'S ADMINISTRATION? - NO DECISIONS ON ANY FURTHER ACTION HAVE BEEN MADE AT THIS TIME. ANY CHANCE YOU'RE GONNA RUN FOR ATTORNEY GENERAL, SAM? WELL,I HAVEMY HANDSFULL ATTHEU.S.ATTORNEY'SOFFICE RIGHTNOW. WHILEHAUSSLERIS EXPECTED TOAPPEALTODAY'SDECISION, ALLEYESWILLBEON WHETHERTHEU.S.ATTORNEY'S OFFICEPLANSTO SEEKCHARGES AGAINSTMAYORJONASSTIEGEL. SO, STRAIGHT ON TO ATTORNEY GENERAL? I CAN NEITHER CONFIRM NOR DENY, COUNSELOR. - FUCKING LIAR. YOU DIDN'T HEAR MOMMY SAY THAT. HOW'S HIS TEMPERATURE? MM. ALMOST THERE. WE WERE WATCHING YOU ON TV. YEAH? DID I LOOK NERVOUS? I FELT LIKE I WAS SHAKING. YOU LOOKED HOT. WOMEN ON THE JURY REALLY LOVED YOUR LADY JUSTICE THING. UH-HUH. IT'S YOU THEY LIKED. WELL, THEY DID THROW THEIR UNDERGARMENTS AT ME. - IS THAT UNUSUAL? - WHORES. MY DAD WAS WATCHING WITH GEORGE HILLER. THEY THINK WE SHOULD GET NIGEL COAKER TO WRITE YOU UP IN HIS "FACES TO WATCH" PIECE. YEAH, THAT'D BE AMAZING. I HAVE NIGEL'S NUMBER. I'LL GIVE HIM A CALL. HE OWES MY DAD A TON OF FAVORS, ANYWAY. WHAT TIME ARE YOU COMING HOME? UH, YOU KNOW, THEY'RE HAVING A LITTLE VICTORY LAP PARTY FOR US. I GOT TO PUT IN AN APPEARANCE. LAME. I'M KIDDING. IT'S FINE. PROUD OF YOU, HONEY. OKAY, I'M PULLING UP. I LOVE YOU. LOVE YOU. TO SAM ELLIS. AFTER 18 MONTHS OF NONSTOP TOIL, MAY HE ENJOY HIS MOMENT IN THE SUN, 'CAUSE TOMORROW, I'M GOING TO BURY HIM UNDER A PILE OF WORK. TO SAM. TO SAM. DO YOU GUYS NOT GET IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEMS FRESHMAN YEAR? - FUCK OFF. - FUCK OFF. OKAY. JEANNIE MUST BE EXCITED, YEAH? YEAH. YEAH. SHE'S GETTING RESTLESS, THOUGH. DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE NOT, EITHER. YOU'VE DONE ALL YOU CAN HERE, ESPECIALLY WITH THAT FUCKING FOSSIL RUNNING THE SHOW. - EASY. - ALL RIGHT. IT'S, UH -- IT'S TIME, YEAH? SAM ELLIS FOR ATTORNEY FUCKING GENERAL. EVERYBODY WAS JUST WAITING FOR YOU TO WIN THIS FUCKER. PUT A PIN IN IT FOR NOW. NO, NO. DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING HERE. THERE'S GOT TO BE MORE TO LIFE THAN HEDGE FUNDS, OR I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL MYSELF. COME ON. I DO HAVE TO GO, THOUGH. BEFORE THE WIFE THROWS A FIT. COME ON. LISTEN, CONGRATS AGAIN. - YEAH. - YEAH. - SEE YA. - SEE YA. I'LL TAKE ANOTHER. YOU DID NOT! NO, I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. I'M NOT SAYING THAT. YOU DID A GREAT JOB. AND WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU SAYING, COUNSELOR? I AM SAYING THAT YOU SHOULD JUST MOVE AROUND A BIT BEFORE THE SEMESTER'S OVER. YOU DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO LAW SCHOOL THINKING THAT THIS WHOLE OFFICE IS JUST ONE BORING SECTION. WHAT IF I LIKE YOUR SECTION? I STILL THINK IT'S A MISTAKE. I DO. YOU GOT TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN, WHAT MAKES YOUR RIGHTEOUS. ANGRY, EVEN. AND YOU HAVE THIS FIGURED OUT? ABSOLUTELY. GUYS THAT I TAKE DOWN HAVE NO REASON TO BREAK THE LAW, YET THEY'RE THESE OVER-PRIVILEGED, MORALLY BANKRUPT INDIVIDUALS WHO THINK THEY CAN JUST STOMP ON THE WEAK AND THE POWERLESS AND GET AWAY WITH IT BECAUSE THEY USUALLY DO. MM. IF I DIDN'T THINK THEY DESERVED TO GO DOWN, COULDN'T TRY THE CASE. DON'T QUOTE ME ON THAT. THESE CIGARETTES GO TO MY HEAD. YOU'RE A LIGHTWEIGHT. YEAH, I DON'T -- I DON'T SMOKE. JUST DOING IT TO IMPRESS ME? OH, I GAVE UP TRYING TO IMPRESS GIRLS LIKE YOU A LONG TIME AGO. OH, BOY. YEAH, THIS, UH... CAN'T DO PRECISELY THAT. ALL RIGHT. I'M SORRY. - YEAH. - YOU'RE MARRIED. OH. YOU KNOW, I CAN KEEP A SECRET, THOUGH. I'M SURE YOU CAN. I JUST CAN'T BE ONE OF THEM. GOODNIGHT, KIDDO. I LOVE YOU, ELLIS. LOVE YOU, TOO. IF YOU WANT TO MOVE ON THIS, YOU BETTER BE STAYING HERE LONG ENOUGH TO SEE IT THROUGH, 'CAUSE I'M NOT GETTING BURNED ON IT. GUY'S COMMITTED ACTUAL CRIMES. IF HUMAN FRAILTY'S ALL WE GOT, IT'LL LOOK LIKE A MORAL CRUSADE. THEN LET IT GO. IT'S NOT MY JOB TO HELP YOU CHASE HEADLINES. DO YOU WANT THE MAYOR OUT OF OFFICE OR NOT? YEAH. HEY, HOW MUCH LONGER IS DALIA WITH US? EIGHT WEEKS. ANY CHANCE WE COULD TRANSFER HER? I'M NOT TELLING THE NINTH CIRCUIT JUDGE I FIRED HIS DAUGHTER 'CAUSE SHE'S TOO DAMN PRETTY. RIGHT. SAM. THIS IS ELLIE GREEN. MISS GREEN, THIS IS SAM ELLIS, - CHIEF OF OUR CRIMINAL DIVISION. - SAM ELLIS. - HELLO. - HI. AND YOU'VE ALREADY MET U.S. ATTORNEY KIRKLAND. I WANTED SAM TO REVIEW YOUR FILE. HE'S TRIED A LOT OF THESE IDENTITY-THEFT CASES. KNOWS HOW TO WORK A JURY ON THESE KIND OF ISSUES. HMM. THE RIGHT MAN FOR THE JOB, THEN. SO, WHAT'S THE CONCERN? WOULD YOU PREFER TO EXPLAIN? I HAVE A RECORD AS AN ESCORT. HOW'D YOU, UH... HOW'D YOU GET INTO THAT? WAS TRYING TO MODEL, AND, UM, I WAS WORKING AS A WAITRESS AT A HOTEL. I MET THIS GUY WHO SUGGESTED I COULD MAKE A LOT MORE MONEY JUST GOING ON A FEW DATES FOR AN AGENCY. HE WAS RIGHT. THAT HOW YOU MET THE DEFENDANT? NO. ELITE ENCOUNTERS ONLY SERVICED VERY HIGH-END CLIENTS. POLITICIANS, PROMINENT BUSINESSMEN. I, UH, SAVED THE LOWLIFES FOR MY PERSONAL LIFE. WOULD YOU SAY THAT YOUR EXPERIENCE MAKES YOU AN EXPERT IN LYING? NO. NO, IT'S - - IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT. IT'S ABOUT FULFILLING PEOPLE'S FANTASIES WHILE MINIMIZING THEIR GUILT. I'D SAY BEING A LAWYER IS PROBABLY BETTER TRAINING FOR LYING. BUT YOU DO HAVE A CRIMINAL RECORD. NOT FOR LYING. WOULD YOU TELL YOUR PARENTS ABOUT IT? IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS A STREET WALKER. YOU THINK THE JURY WOULD PERCEIVE THAT DISTINCTION? THE MEN WILL. - WOW. - HMM. YEAH. I KNOW I SHOULD REALLY PUSH THE PARENT ISSUE. THE JURY MIGHT GET PAST IT IF THEY SEE HER AS AN ABANDONED KID UP THERE. MAYBE. EVERYONE'S GOT A DARK SIDE YOU DON'T NORMALLY GET TO SEE. I THINK JURORS UNDERSTAND THAT. I KNOW A LOT OF GUYS WHO USED HER AGENCY. SWORE BY IT. SHOULDN'T WE BE PROSECUTING THAT? TRAFFICKING, SURE, BUT WE GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS. YOU SAID IT YOURSELF, SAM. NOBODY CARES ABOUT HUMAN FRAILTY. IT'S STILL AGAINST THE LAW. RIGHT. BOY SCOUT. SAY "HI" TO THE INTERN FOR ME. NIGHT, CHIEF. HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND. TAKE IT EASY. OH... NO. JAMES ASKED IF HE COULD HAVE A SIBLING. REALLY? YEAH. THAT STIEGEL? UH, NO, I'M JUST HELPING NOAH WITH A CASE. YOU THINK A JURY WOULD DISCREDIT TESTIMONY FROM AN ESCORT? I DON'T KNOW. DEPENDS ON THE WITNESS, I GUESS. YOU DON'T THINK THEY'D FIND IT MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE? I THINK THEY PROBABLY UNDERSTAND IT'S NOT QUITE THE TABOO IT USED TO BE. I MEAN, YOU GOT ALL THOSE PEOPLE WATCHING INTERNET PORN. WHAT'S SHE LIKE? YOU MEET HER? IS SHE SEXY? UH... I DON'T KNOW. UH... MM... - YOU TIRED? - YEAH. I JUST - - I HAVE TO BE UP EARLY. CAN I GET A HUG? I THINK I CAN MANAGE THAT. JAMES, YOU READY? HERE, NO, I'LL GET THAT. I GOT IT. - OKAY. - DON'T WORRY. NOT JOINING US, HUH, SAM? SURE YOU CAN SURVIVE A WHOLE WEEKEND WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER? I'LL HAVE TO TRY, SIR. DON'T REALLY HAVE YOUR SEA LEGS, ANYWAY. THAT IS TRUE. REMIND ME NEXT TIME. I GOT SOME PILLS FOR THAT. AH. SO, YOU TAKING THE NEW ONE? YOU BET. 130-FOOTER. STIEGEL KEEPING YOU ON LAND? YEAH, MOSTLY. GUESS YOU PRETTY MUCH DUG YOURSELF INTO THAT HOLE. WHAT'S YOUR PLANS IF YOU LOSE? DOING MY BEST NOT TO LOSE. TRY NOT TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN WHILE WE'RE AWAY, HMM? - WILL DO. - AH. - HEY, JIMMY. - HAVE FUN, PAL. READY TO GO SAILING WITH GRANDPA? HOW BAD WAS HE? THE USUAL. DO YOU HAVE TO GO? I'LL BE SO BORED WITHOUT YOU GUYS. YOU'RE SO SWEET. IT'S ONLY A COUPLE OF DAYS. BE BACK SUNDAY NIGHT. OKAY. AND, UH, IF YOU GET LONELY, YOU CAN ALWAYS CALL THAT WITNESS. I LOVE YOU. LOVE YOU. IS INTENDED FOR COMPANIONSHIP AND MODELING SERVICES ONLY." CAN I GET A PRE-PAID PHONE, THERE? Executive Privilege. UH, HI, YES. UH... I WAS, UH, LOOKING ON YOUR SITE, AND, UH, I'M JUST WONDERING HOW I COULD, UH, MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH, UH, CHRISTY. Christy, yeah. Great girl. She's one of our favorites. My name's Mona. I just need to ask you a few questions. UH, WHAT, UH, WHAT QUESTIONS? What was your name? OH, YEAH. OKAY. UH, MY NAME IS, UH, BOB FISHER. And what do you do, Bob? I'M A, UH, I'M A LAWYER. Okay, Bob, is there something That you can tell me about yourself That I can share with Christy? OH, I DON'T KNOW. I'M, UH, CAUCASIAN. 6 FEET, 190. What are some of your hobbies? What do you like to do, Bob? NOT MUCH OF A MOVIE GUY. I... READ A LOT. I LIKE CRIME NOVELS. Well, I'm sure Christy will like to dress for you. Do you have any preferences? UH... MAYBE LIKE, UH, LIKE A TIGHT SWEATER. I DON'T KNOW. But you do know what you like, yes? YEAH. Have you ever used an agency before? UH, NO. Okay, perfect. My favorite kind of client. So, once you get there, you'll leave your money in an envelope on the counter. And once we know that everybody's fine, safe, happy, and comfortable, then we'll start the hour. And if you're not happy, all you have to do is call, and we'll make sure we'll make you happy. We have plenty of girls. She'll be at the Stanwick Hotel. Have you been there before? STANWICK, YEAH. YES. I KNOW WHERE THAT IS. Room 209. 209. Yeah, and if anything comes up, Bob, give me a call, and I'll do the same for you. OKAY. I'LL BE ON TIME. Thank you, Bob. THANK YOU. SHIT. WHAT FLOOR YOU HEADING TO? UH, 2, PLEASE. THANK YOU. HI THERE. HI. SO, YOU MUST BE, UH... - CHRISTY. - ... CHRISTY. YOUR HAIR LOOKS DIFFERENT. OH, I LOVE THIS SUIT. - OH, THANK YOU. - DON'T TELL ME. IT'S CANALI? - WOW, THAT'S IMPRESSIVE. UH, I HAVE THE, UH -- OH, YOU CAN JUST LEAVE THE DONATION ON THE COUNTER. RIGHT. SO, YEAH. FIRST TIME, MAYBE? MIGHT BE. WELL, I AM FLATTERED YOU CHOSE ME, THEN. I CAN ALREADY TELL YOU'RE MY KIND OF GUY. SORRY, I'M... I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS WORKS. BOB, DO YOU LIKE SCOTCH? WHY DON'T I FIX YOU A DRINK? UH, YEAH. OKAY. MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE. - THANK YOU. - YEAH. THAT'S GOOD. - CHEERS. - CHEERS. I SERIOUSLY LOVE THIS FABRIC. YOU HAVE REALLY GOOD TASTE. UH, THANK YOU. YEAH. WORKED AT A CLOTHING STORE IN COLLEGE. WOUND UP SPENDING MOST OF MY PAYCHECK ON CLOTHES. - AND NOW I SOUND LIKE A GIRL. - NO. NO, EVEN MEN NEED TO BE PAMPERED. YEAH. I, UM... I USED TO WORK AS A MASSAGE THERAPIST. SO... I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO HAVE SOMEONE AROUND TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR NEEDS. GO AHEAD. YOU MUST HAVE A REALLY STRESSFUL JOB. YEAH. I CAN FEEL IT IN YOUR SHOULDERS. YOU WANT TO TAKE A SHOWER WITH ME? I'LL DO IT MYSELF. YOU WANT TO COME JOIN ME? I CAN'T DO THIS. UH... I'M SORRY. IT'S MY MISTAKE. WELL, THERE'S NO NEED TO RUSH. THANK YOU, BUT I-I-I HAVE TO GO. I'M - - I'M SORRY. LET ME HELP YOU. THANK YOU. YOU MARRIED? YEAH. 13 YEARS. 13 YEARS. YEAH. HOW OLD ARE YOU? WE WERE MARRIED YOUNG. I SEE. WHAT? WELL, I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE HERE. IT MUST BE HARD GIVING YOUR YOUTH AWAY TO ONE PERSON. IT'S A LOT OF THINGS. SHE CHEATED ON ME BACK IN SCHOOL. I THOUGHT, UH... YOU KNOW, IT'S BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED, BUT I - - YEAH. ARE THERE THINGS SHE WON'T DO? THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY? UH, YEAH, SURE. I LIKE TO TRY THINGS. IS THAT OKAY? GOD. HOW ARE YOU DOING? I'M GOOD. YOU WANT TO FUCK ME NOW? FUCK! SO, ANY PLANS FOR THE REST OF THE DAY? SORRY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER THAT. NO. I, UH... I HAVE NO MORE APPOINTMENTS, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE ASKING. I MIGHT GO LINGERIE SHOPPING. HEY, DO YOU ALWAYS, UH, KISS ON THE LIPS? I THOUGHT THAT WASN'T PART OF IT. YOU'RE SWEET. WELL, CHRISTY. IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU. YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH MY FRIEND CLIO. SHE'S THE TOP GIRL AT THE AGENCY. SHE ONLY SEES REFERRALS. MAYBE THE THREE OF US COULD HAVE SOME FUN TOGETHER. SORRY, BUT THIS WAS A, UH, A ONE TIME THING. WELL, I'LL TELL HER ABOUT YOU IN CASE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND. TRUST ME, YOU'LL DEFINITELY LIKE HER. THANK YOU. - THANK YOU. - SURE. - DAD! - HEY. WHA- - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME? WE GOT BACK EARLY. THOUGHT WE'D SURPRISE YOU. WHERE YOU BEEN? UH, WE HAD A MEETING WITH SOME OF THE AGENTS ON STIEGEL. WEEKEND? THAT'S A DRAG. - YEAH. - YOUR HAIR'S WET. YOU BEEN TO THE GYM? YEAH, STOPPED ON MY WAY BACK. GOOD FOR YOU. WANT TO COME EAT? UH, YEAH. SMELLS AMAZING. WITHMORE THAN800,000FEDERALWORKERS STANDINGTOLOSETHEIR PAYCHECKS... YOU NERVOUS? I'M JUST WONDERING IF IT'S THE SMART MOVE TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW. HE KNOWS I CAN'T TALK ABOUT STIEGEL. NIGEL COAKER'S ON "MEET THE PRESS" EVERY OTHER WEEK. HE'S BARELY GONNA KNOW WHO STIEGEL IS. WHICH ONE? YOUR CALL. YOU KNOW, DON'T OVER-THINK IT. JUST RELAX. LET HIM SEE THE MAN UNDERNEATH. MANYESTIMATESSUGGEST ASHUTDOWNCOULDCOST THEGOVERNMENT... NICE. JUST A FEW MORE. GOOD. SO, SAM, YOUR MOTHER -- UM, YOU'VE CITED HER AS BEING A SOURCE OF INSPIRATION -- WAS ARRESTED ON A NUMBER OF OCCASIONS IN PROTESTS DURING THE '70s. WHAT DOES SHE THINK ABOUT YOU BECOMING A FEDERAL PROSECUTOR? WELL, SHE PASSED AWAY BEFORE I GOT THE JOB, BUT... I HOPE SHE'D BE PROUD OF ME. WOULD SHE HAVE SUPPORTED YOUR PROSECUTION OF, UH, MEDICAL MARIJUANA FACILITIES, FOR EXAMPLE? WELL, NIGEL, MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME FROM AN EARLY AGE TO FIGHT FOR JUSTICE, PROTECT THOSE WHO ARE VULNERABLE. THE LAW'S THE BEST WAY TO DO THAT. THE U.S. ATTORNEY'S OFFICE PROSECUTES THOSE WHO BREAK IT. WE DON'T DECIDE WHAT THE LAWS ARE. NO, BUT YOU PICK THE CASES YOU PURSUE. SO, THAT MEANS THERE IS A MORAL INTENT. NOW, IF 20 STATES HAVE A MEDICAL EXEMPTION FOR IT, UH, HOW CAN THE ISSUE BE BLACK-AND-WHITE? BECAUSE IT IS. NIGEL, I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR INCLUDING ME IN YOUR PIECE. OH, ANYTHING FOR JEANNIE. LISTEN, SAM, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, I'D LIKE TO TALK TO THE MAGAZINE ABOUT DOING A LONGER PROFILE ON YOU, MAYBE I CAN TRAIL YOU IN THE OFFICE. YOU KNOW, UM, DO A "DAY IN THE LIFE" KIND OF THING. WELL, OUR MEETINGS ARE USUALLY CONFIDENTIAL, BUT I'M SURE WE CAN ARRANGE SOMETHING. LOOK, I GOT TO GET JAMES TO SCHOOL. YOU GOT ANY MORE QUESTIONS? YES. WHEN ARE YOU RUNNING? MAMA'S GONNA PICK YOU UP. YOUR FATHER SEEMS TO THINK HE'LL GO FAR IF HE CAN HANDLE THE PRESSURE. WHAT DO YOU THINK? I DON'T THINK HE LIKES ME. OH, HE'S JUST SENSITIVE ABOUT HIS MOTHER, THAT'S ALL. MM, WELL, I THINK HE'S INTIMIDATED BY THE SIZE OF MY REPUTATION. HMM? HOW ARE YOU TWO DOING? GREAT. THINGS ARE A LITTLE CRAZY, BUT WE'RE GREAT. WELL, I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT. THERE'S A PIECE ABOUT THE ATTORNEY GENERAL RACE OH, YEAH? I NEED TO WATCH THAT. THEY MENTION ME? NO, THEY WEREN'T SINGLING ANYBODY OUT. YOU WANT ME TO RECORD IT? SAM? UH, YEAH, THAT'D BE GREAT. THANKS. IS THERE A HISTORY OF CANCER IN YOUR FAMILY? UH, MY MOTHER DIED FROM LIVER CANCER. BUT, YOU KNOW, SHE WAS A HEAVY SMOKER AND BIG DRINKER. HAVE YOU BEEN WITH ANY NEW SEXUAL PARTNERS RECENTLY? WELL, UH, I'M MARRIED. BUT YEAH. ONE OTHER ONE A FEW DAYS AGO. IT WAS JUST ONE TIME, THOUGH, AND I-I USED A CONDOM. WELL, THERE IS A BUMP, BUT IT'S PROBABLY AN INGROWN HAIR OR SOMETHING. IN ALL LIKELIHOOD, I THINK YOU'RE FINE. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SENATOR EDWARD POLLAN. THANK YOU, JEANNIE. YOUR EXEMPLARY WORK WITH THE EDIBLE SCHOOLYARD PROJECT IS AN INSPIRATION TO ALL OF US. YOU KNOW, I OFTEN ASK MYSELF WHAT WE CAN DO IN WASHINGTON TO HELP SHAPE OUR CHILDREN'S SENSE OF PLACE. SAM ELLIS. - GEORGE HILLER. - YES. GLAD TO FINALLY MEET YOU IN PERSON. ABSOLUTELY, SIR. THAT COUNTRY CLUB THING, THAT WAS A HECK OF A MOVE. I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT ATTORNEY GENERAL. WELL, I'M NOT LOOKING AT ANY JOB BEYOND MY CURRENT EMPLOYMENT. I GOT SOMETHING BETTER. WHAT'LL YOU TWO LADIES HAVE? I'LL TAKE A CHAMPAGNE, PLEASE. - BOURBON FOR ME. - YES, MA'AM. - WHO ARE YOU? JEANNIE? NOAH. HOW'S THE BOSS TREATING YOU? OH, TOTAL SLAVE MASTER. HE DRAG YOU IN FOR THAT FBI MEETING LAST WEEKEND? UH, NO. GUESS IT MUST'VE BEEN ABOVE MY PAY GRADE. WELL, DON'T WORRY. YOU'LL MAKE IT. YOU WANT A DRINK? SENATOR POLLAN? YOU SURE? HE'S GONNA GIVE UP HIS SEAT? I GOT HIM TO PROMISE NOT TO GO PUBLIC YET, BUT IT'S DONE. NOW, POLLAN SAYS HE'S GONNA ANNOUNCE IN A YEAR. WHEN HE ANNOUNCES, WE PULL THE TRIGGER. YOU QUIT YOUR JOB AND YOU JUMP IN THE RACE. BUT I GOT TO KNOW NOW WHETHER YOU GOT THE BALLS FOR THIS. I'LL HAVE TO THINK IT OVER. WELL, THINK IT OVER. BUT REMEMBER, I'M THE OTHER WOMAN HERE, SO DON'T KEEP ME WAITING. NOW, NIGEL COAKER'S ALREADY AGREED TO WRITE THE LONGER ARTICLE, WHICH WILL KEEP THINGS ALIVE. YOU JUST CULTIVATE THAT CLEAN IMAGE, 'CAUSE YOUR MYTHOLOGY IS YOUR BEST ASSET. LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE... HI, THERE. SO NICE TO MEET YOU. I LOVE YOUR TUXEDO. IS THAT ARMANI? I'M THE ONE WHO GETS YOU THERE. - I WIN THESE THINGS. SO, WHY DON'T WE POOL OUR RESOURCES? I'LL BRING IN MY BOYS, AND YOU AND JEANNIE BRING IN YOURS, AND WE'LL WORK TOGETHER AND GET THE RIGHT TEAM AROUND YOU, AND THERE'S JUST NO TELLING WHERE THIS STOPS. YOU WITH ME? ABSOLUTELY. WE SHOULD DEFINITELY KEEP TALKING. IT WAS VERY NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU. YOU SHOULD SEE MY FRIEND, CLIO. CARE FOR A NIGHTCAP, CONGRESSMAN? WHAT, ARE YOU DRUNK? YOU'RE NOT DRUNK ENOUGH. WOULD YOU COME TO BED? WE SHOULD BE CELEBRATING. AREN'T YOU EXCITED? WE WOULD BE SCRUTINIZED UNDER A MICROSCOPE. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT? WE HAVE ANYTHING TO HIDE? OF COURSE NOT. BUT YOU KNOW THESE CAMPAIGNS GET PERSONAL. CERTAIN LEVEL OF BRUTALITY, EXPOSURE. JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE IT'S THE RIGHT MOMENT WHILE JAMES IS SO YOUNG. WELL, JAMES ISN'T LIKE HIS FRIENDS. HE OBSESSES ABOUT PRESIDENTS THE SAME WAY OTHER BOYS OBSESS ABOUT DINOSAURS. I MEAN, ISN'T THIS EXACTLY WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED? WHAT? I JUST NOTICED HOW ADORABLE YOU ARE IN MY SHIRT. I JUST - - RIGHT NOW. COME HERE. COME BACK UP HERE. NO, NO. DON'T DO THAT. MNH-MNH. THIS WAY. I LOVE YOU. I KNOW ALL THE SACRIFICES YOU'VE MADE FOR THIS. I'M JUST NOT SURE ABOUT HILLER. EVERYBODY KNOWS HE PLAYS DIRTY. WELL, HIS CANDIDATES WIN. I NEED TO KNOW YOU STILL REALLY WANT THIS. THAT YOU'RE, UM, THE SAME IDEALISTIC GUY I FELL FOR... WHO'S GONNA CHANGE THE WORLD. MAYBE ONE WITH A LITTLE LESS HAIR, BUT YEAH. SAME GUY, I HOPE. THEN I'LL BE THERE. I BELIEVE IN YOU, SAM. JUST DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. Executive Privilege. HI, THIS IS, UH, BOB FISHER CALLING BACK. UH, I'D LIKE TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH, UH, WITH CLIO. Hi, Bob. Um, yes, Clio. CHRISTY HAD, UH, SAID SHE'D, UH, TELL HER ABOUT ME. Um, I'm sorry, Bob. She's out of town at the moment. WELL, WHEN WILL SHE BE BACK? I'm not sure. WELL, WHEN WILL YOU KNOW? I don't know, but, um, I-I can make a note to call you. UH, OKAY. Is there another girl you'd be interested in? Did you look at Donna on our Website? She's available. DONNA, YEAH. THE BRUNETTE. Right. YEAH, THAT'S FINE. SURE. WHEN? YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN ASKING MYSELF WHAT POSSIBLE WISDOM I CAN IMPART TO THE BRIGHT YOUNG MINDS OF TOMORROW. AND I WAS GONNA SAY, "BE ANYONE YOU WANT TO BE." IF YOU WANT TO BE AN ATTORNEY, BE AN ATTORNEY. YOU WANT TO BE A BALLERINA, BE A BALLERINA. IF YOU WANT TO BE A FIREMAN, BE A FIREMAN OR AN ASTRONAUT OR A PLAYWRIGHT. TECHNOLOGY. I MEAN, HE CAN TALK DIRECTLY... BUT THEN I REALIZED THAT'S RIDICULOUS. WHEN ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT ETHICS REFORM - AND CAMPAIGN FINANCE? I CAN'T BE A BALLERINA, AN ASTRONAUT, OR A PLAYWRIGHT. I'M JUST NOT BUILT THAT WAY. BECAUSE REALLY, YOU CAN ONLY BE YOU. GET YOUR MESSAGE ACROSS. BUT MAYBE THAT'S WHAT I'LL IMPART. BE YOU. - COAKER'S PIECE. - MORNING, SAM. WHOEVER THAT IS. BE HONEST ABOUT YOUR WEAKNESSES, BUT CAPITALIZE ON YOUR STRENGTHS. GET TO THE CORE OF WHO YOU REALLY ARE, BECAUSE THE SOONER YOU FIGURE OUT WHO THAT IS... THE SOONER YOU CAN DECIDE WHICH GRAD SCHOOL TO BLOW 100 GRAND ON. THANK YOU. THIS BOTHER YOU? - NO. - NO? I CAN TOUCH YOU ANY WAY I LIKE? UH-HUH. HUH? WHAT IF SOME GUY WANTED TO CUM IN YOUR EYE? ON THOSE PRETTY LASHES. YOU'RE SO PRETTY. WHY DO YOU LET GUYS DO THIS SHIT TO YOU? I DON'T KNOW. IT'S JUST WHAT SOME GUYS ARE LIKE. WELL, SOME GUYS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE. ESPECIALLY IN MY LINE OF WORK. DOESN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE, DOES IT? THAT'S NOT THE POINT. IT'S JUST BASIC HUMAN ENGINEERING. FIGHTING THAT REALLY MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON? THE WORLD DOESN'T WORK THE WAY IT DOES WHEN YOU'RE 19. YOU'LL SEE. OH, WHATEVER. RULES ARE JUST RULES SOMEONE MADE UP. NONE OF MY CLIENTS ARE 19. AND MOST OF THEM ARE MARRIED. IF THAT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER. I DIDN'T SAY I WAS MARRIED. SORRY. I TALK TOO MUCH. DON'T GET MAD, OKAY. I JUST DON'T SEE WHY PRETENDING YOU'RE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT MAKES YOU ANY BETTER. THAT'S ALL. SURE YOU'RE OKAY DOING THIS? I MEAN, COME ON. ISN'T THERE SOMETHING BETTER OUT THERE FOR YOU? DID YOU HAVE A FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? I LIKE WHAT I DO. AND I LIKE YOU. YOU WANT TO SEE ME AGAIN? I NEVER SEE THE SAME GIRL TWICE. OH, POOR BOB. IT'S OKAY TO COME OUT AND PLAY. WE KNEW SAM WAS DESTINED FOR POLITICS, BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT JEANNIE WOULD END UP BEING THE PROSECUTOR. REALLY? ME? WOW. YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE BACKGROUND. YOU COULD JUMP BACK IN ANY TIME YOU WANTED. PROBABLY. I JUST DIDN'T REALIZE I'D MISS JAMES SO MUCH BEING IN THE OFFICE ALL DAY. YOUR CHARITY WORK WILL LOOK BETTER ON A FIRST LADY'S RéSUMé. OH, GOD. NO PRESSURE, SAM. WHO WANTS DESSERT? SAM. COME IN. POLLAN'S CALLING A PRESS CONFERENCE FOR NEXT WEEK. THOUGHT YOU SAID WE HAD A YEAR. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I THOUGHT. I COULDN'T HOLD HIM OFF ANY LONGER. WELL, WHAT ABOUT STIEGEL? AM I SUPPOSED TO DROP THE CASE IN SOMEBODY ELSE'S LAP? POLLAN'S GOT CANCER. AND IT'S GETTING WORSE. I'M -- I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT. LOOK, SAM, I-I KNOW YOU WANTED TO TRY THAT CASE, AND I RESPECT YOU FOR THAT, That's the one. He was convinced that the Holy Grail was there. For the love of Christ. Yes, he was looking for that too, don't doubt it. -The Nazis believed in the power of relics, the lance with which Longinus pierced Christ or the Arc of the Covenant. I've heard of that. Someone wants to rewrite history and we won't allow it. Ernesto, you speak German. You should go immediately with Irene to Madrid in the 40s. and find out what Himmler wants. I suppose he'll be staying at the Ritz. Yes, that hasn't changed. For the moment. (MAN) Welcome to Spain "Willkommen in Spanien". -Danke. -So that you feel at home we have prepared you some Bavarian specialties. (HIMMLER) (SPEAKING GERMAN) -It has a splendid look. Ah, tell him I'm pleased. "Nein", I said that. The... (GERMAN NAME) ...is this big meatball. Ah. The menu also includes... (GERMAN NAME) (CONTINUES SPEAKING GERMAN) You speak German impeccably. -In Spain, German is taught in all the schools. Knowing German is essential to the future of our youth. (SPEAKING GERMAN) May I serve? Serve, serve, I have to speak with these gentlemen. These are General Franco's latest requests. (TRANSLATING TO GERMAN) We will gladly look them over. (HOST) Perfect. Tomorrow I will come by at 4pm. We have prepared a bull fight in your honor. Bull? Fight? -Yes, yes but with the best fighters. Ah. Marcial Lalanda, Pepe Luis Vázquez and Rafael Ortega "el Gran Gallito". Gallito? Come here. Help me explain this. Bull fight. National Festival. (SPEAKING GERMAN) Men fighting against bulls? Yes, yes, yes. What did he say? -That they would love to go. I couldn't have translated it better. (MAN) (COUGHING) The fortune cookie was right. Love and a cough can't be hidden. Get going, Luis. And leave you here alone? No, don't even think it. Whatever way, you're coming with me. -Don't be an idiot. They won't let me board in this state. I can't leave you alone with this fever. You're burning up. On your way out, tell the guy that owns the guesthouse to call a doctor. But go now, you're going to miss your plane. I'll leave you this so you can get by when you get better. Hang in there. (Door closes) Is what you have to tell me very important? It could be. Tell me. Sit down, woman. One of our internal agents called. An hour ago someone checked into a hospital. He was delirious and talking about a time door. Couldn't he just be crazy or a science fiction fan? Look. This is his picture in the hospital, taken this very morning. And this, a photo he had on him. It's from 1940. 1940. Everything's leading us to the same year. Alright. Have Amelia and her team visit him in the hospital, immediately. Time travel with a shrimp allergy, now that is risky. I don't know what you're talking about. About this. We're pressed for time, so you can confess everything now. Relax, Alonso. Tell us how you arrived here from 1940. I'm sick, not crazy. Time travel can't be done. Yes, yes it can. We do it, as a matter of fact. So I'm sure that you aren't crazy. But if you don't work with us, we can lock you up in an asylum for life. Are you sure this will work? I've synchronized the frequency with my phone. We'll hear everything that Himmler says from his room. I don't hear anything. They haven't gotten back from the bull fight. Here they are. (HIMMLER) (SPEAKING GERMAN) What did he say? -"What a disgusting spectacle". "Gallito is a fucking murderer". Whereas they have Auschwitz... now that's a show for the whole family. Heil Hitler. -Heil Hitler. (SPEAKING GERMAN) They've brought him a telegram. (SPEAKING GERMAN) "Everything's going as we had hoped". (Speaking German) So they're going to accept Franco's conditions. Shit. (SPEAKING GERMAN) "We will go to Montserrat for the Grail of all grails." Heil Hitler. -Heil Hitler. (HUMMING) (HUMMING) (CLEARING THROAT) (HUMMING) (RASPY) What a nightmare. Chiquetete would sing Wagner with more respect. Turn that off. Why would the Nazis accept Franco's demands? What have you found out? We don't know if the Holy Grail is in Montserrat, but there is a time door. Of course. The grail of all grails. They are accepting the conditions because they want that door. And how do they know about a door that even we aren't aware of? From Lola Mendieta. Hello. Did you come alone? Where is your partner? I saw them kill him hidden behind some bushes. and I fled without doing anything, like a coward. The important thing is that you're alive and you're leaving this hell. Quickly. Himmler is already in Madrid and soon he'll go to Montserrat. He doesn't know anything, right? -He's unaware of the time door. He's going to look for the Holy Grail. Or at least that's what history tells us. History. I would love to be able to travel in time and change it, I swear. That's what we're doing. Yes, that's what we're doing. -Let's go. Madrid is full of spies. And Juan and Luis? -They're safe. Leave immediately for Montserrat. Destroy that door before the Nazis find it. You two will travel to Hendaye. If they don't manage to destroy the door, you need to stop Spain from entering World War II. By whatever means neccessary. I look like a puppet. No complaining, I don't even want to think about when we travel to meet Viriatus. I knew that this day would come, but traveling to my own future terrifies me. In 1940 I'll be over 80 years old. This is only 60 years after your time. Imagine how I feel on every trip. It's almost better to travel farther than closer. It's the memories that kill you. You're lucky, you can't ever travel to the future. So you'll never know what will become of your life. My future doesn't interest me as much as my past. Yes, too much sometimes. Anyway, past, future... What does it matter? A good soldier should forget his past, and realize that he might not have a future, because he fights every day as though it were his last. Really, Alonso, when it comes to inspiring people you are one of a kind. Come on. I dont understand. The place where we they're meeting us is... It's two blocks from here. Also, coincidentally, they're meeting us in my neighborhood. Please, can you give me something? It's to eat. Yes. Here you are. Thank you. I've never seen such poverty. The War had just ended. People were hungry and there wasn't much food. just what they got with their ration card. My grandfather told me. How everything has changed. Hey. I could swear that's you. When I left home yesterday it was half-painted. It was going to go in the sitting room. Should we go in and ask? No. We have a mission to complete. (WHISPERS) He's late for the Angelus. Here. Let's go. I'm sorry. -Is Lola working with the Nazis? Impossible. She is saving lives and risking her own. Her life and half of humanity. If the Nazis find that door they will come to the present. and obtain weapons and modern technology. Do you know what that would mean? They will win the second World War. and they will eliminate anyone who doesn't conform to their ideas. You don't have to tell me. I have experience in that area, I assure you. What are you going to do with me? We'll figure it out. Now leave. May I take the photo? (ANGUSTIAS) May I come in? -Like you need permission. Do we know what will happen to him if he returns to his time? No. I'm trying to locate Espínola. I call him and it cuts off or goes straight to the machine. -Espínola? Things must be bad... Sorry about the wait. We weren't expecting you so soon. Typical. The guy who brought us must have a date later. He's crazy. We call him "Offroader". So, how's 2015? Good... I hope it's better than now, when there's nothing to eat. We're headed that way, don't doubt it. And then they say that humanity is evolving. Evolving my ass. (SCRAPING) (BRANCHES BREAKING) Stop there. Throw down your weapons. We're screwed. Maquis. And who are they? These are some assholes. Say that again, if you've got the balls. You are assholes. Fine. You asked for it. (Shoots a blank) You're the asshole, who cheats at cards. You couldn't beat me at cards if you wore a hood, Mariano. You know each other? Yeah, they also work for the Ministry. So, you mean that all this is a joke. Yeah, we do it to all the new guys, like you. Interesting sense of humor you have. If we don't have a little fun now and then this will be the death of us. Come on, let's go. Not a damn bit funny. We're almost there. Are you sure that the translator won't show up in Hendaye? I took care of him. He'll spend a few weeks glued to the toilet, I assure you. Why do I never get to seduce a beautiful woman instead of greasy lechers? For the same reason we're going to see Hitler and not Ava Gardner. Look, her I did meet, but I must be the only one who doesn't brag about it. Hitler. There have been too many assholes in this world and I've met a lot of them. I didn't know you smoke. Me either. How many times have we risked our lives together, and I still don't know... What time period I'm from? Yes. It's so long ago I don't even remember it. Are you Captain Pascual? -At your orders, Commander. Come with me. (Train whistle) At your orders, Your Excellence. Where is Álvarez Estrada? Indisposed, Your Excellency. And you are...? Captain Pascual at your orders, Your Excellency. Where did you serve in the War? -With Generals Gil y Yuste, intelligence services in Álava, Your Excellency. Good reference. Do you understand the importance of these negotiations? Yes, Your Excellency. Well then, I am in your hands, because I get by with my English, but my German... Damn devil's language. You can be at ease, Your Excellency. At ease? With Hitler? Impossible. He's so high-strung. How could a corporal have come so far? 20 SS? Well the plan is fucked, because we only have four more men here. There's only 8 of you? And the civil guard? Just what you see. With the Ministry's cutbacks, when someone retires they don't send anyone new. And the weapons are from the Moroccan War. So what's the plan? Do you have what we asked for? There's the clothes. Here you go. Two Civil Guard uniforms and for you, a monk's robes. And the explosives to blow up the door. I'll carry that. I won't argue with you about that. Ah, one more thing. In case of an emergency, ring the Abbey's bells. And what do we have the phones for? They're worthless here, in these mountains there's no coverage. The Spanish hell is everywhere. What is the Spanish hell? Nothing, a joke. You can tell it on the way. Let's get to the monastery. (Thunder) (ANSWERING MACHINE) "This is the talking device of Ambrosio Espínola Doria, Grandee of Spain. If you want to leave a message, do so after hearing the signal". (beep) Message for Espínola. Emergency call from the Ministry. I repeat: emergency call from the Ministry. (Thunder) Are you worried? Aren't you? We have a very complicated mission ahead of us. It's not just that worrying you. You can't stop thinking about that portrait of your family. It won't get out of my head. Just yesterday I was posing with my family. My mother scolded me because I wouldn't sit still. When we finish the mission, we'll find out what happened to your family. I don't know if I want to find out, Julián. There it is. A new mission awaits us. Victory or death. I prefer the first one. Me too. You two go and see the Prior. And you? I'll start looking. With this habit no one will suspect anything. Be careful. And to what do we owe your visit? There is a risk of imminent attack by the Maquis. I doubt it. We are peaceful people. and because of that have always been respected. A big fish in the German army is coming to visit this monastery. We need to be sure that nothing happens to him. Do what you wish, but do not bother the brothers. You've arrived just at lunch time. (Door creaking open) (Two shots) Throw down your weapons! Look, how thoughtful. This one doesn't need subtitles. I said to throw down your weapons. (MAN) (SPEAKING GERMAN) (SPEAKING GERMAN) She's coming with us. Eh! Eh! We have to do something. Yes, but in due time. How can you be so calm? If you would be so kind, tell me the joke about the Spanish hell. What are you doing here? Thinking about how to get out. Wait! Wait. Get me out of here. I have an even more important secret for Himmler. Here inside there is a time door, only one. I can show you hundreds. Traitor. (WHISPERS) You have no idea. I hate to disappoint you, but the Holy Grail isn't in Montserrat. Our only grail is our Blessed Virgin and our custom, to kiss her. (MAN) (SPEAKING GERMAN) Tell him that I hope he enjoys his cyanide. You speak German. -I studied in Tübingen. Look, I know that I can't prohibit you from treading this holy ground but I can confine myself to my cell until you leave here. Take care not to break anything. Should we fear God's wrath? -No. You should fear mine. Heil Hitler. Fräulein Lola Mendieta. You don't know how pleased we are to meet you. Without you we'd never have come here. You'll be much more pleased when you learn about the Ministry of Time. There are hundreds of doors there that lead to all of the past. (SPEAKING GERMAN) And the guy in the German hell, covered in shit up to his ears, asks the guy in the Spanish hell how he's doing... I don't know what I'm doing telling jokes. Not knowing what the Nazis are doing with Amelia. Continue the joke, I beg you. The Spaniard says he's living pretty well in the Spanish hell. The German, dumbfounded, asks him: "Don't they throw buckets of shit on you?". And the Spaniard says: "In Spanish hell when there's a bucket, there's no shit, and when there's shit, there's no bucket". Well I don't understand. Fine. I guess Spain's changed a lot since the 16th century. For the worse, as I see it. It seems that they are here. Let's go. Could you shut up for once? I'm sick of all your blabbering! What are you doing? Are you crazy or what? (SPEAKING GERMAN) You should fight better. I save lives, I don't take them away. The first life you have to save is your own. And now, we will go get Amelia. Like jumping into a swimming pool. Heil Hitler. -Heil Hitler. (SPEAKING GERMAN) (SPEAKING GERMAN) Another war flick. How boring. How could you do this? And you? You are worse than a traitor. You're a murderer who's going to kill all the people who won't be able to leave through this door anymore. They promised to let me go to the future. We have you, fräulein. We don't need him. But what do you mean you can't come right now? Listen, this isn't a marching band that's coming, eh? I want you in my office, now. Espínola. Espínola. Espínola. It's gone dead, God. Evacuation Order. Have the agents return to their time periods and their homes. Only essential staff and security. Yes, Sir. And what do we do with Juan? -If you don't mind, take him to your house. I'm staying here with you. -No, Angustias, you go home. (Machine gun fire) Well I think that I'm going to have to stay. (Machine gun fire) Oh, thank God. God and this wonderful machine. You've got to hurry. Lola is telling them about the Ministry. She will pay for that, I swear. The phone. We have to warn the Ministry. (Telephone) Hallo? Too late. They're already there. We have to warn the "paquis". Maquis. Fine, whatever they're called. (DOCUMENTARY NARRATION) (IN GERMAN) (SPEAKING GERMAN) Did he say "peanut brittle"? "Fantastic". -Ah. (GERMAN) -"Marvellous". Amazing. He couldn't be more excited if he had won the lottery. (SPEAKING GERMAN) -And now what did he say? "A ha". See, like in Spanish. Dank, liebe Heinrich. -"Thank you, dear Heinrich." Danke, mein füher. And what about our requests? (SPEAKING GERMAN) Yes to everything. Soon two battalions will arrive from France. and travel to the future. That will be our definitive victory. (Bells Tolling) How strange. It's 20 past. It's just that in Spain we aren't as punctual as you. But are you sure about what you're saying? Yes. He was speaking with Himmler, I'm sure of it. He said: "Dank, Heinrich" and hung up. And he's accepted everything. We'll call the Ministry. They will know what's going on in Montserrat. No, we're outside Spanish territory. Our cell phones don't work here. We'd have to return to Irun and there's no time. But Amelia and her team are in this time. We could get off and call from the station. You're right. I'm going to get off. No. They could call for you at any moment. It would be suspicious if you weren't here. I'll take care of it. But where do you think you are, Ramblas street market? Montserrat is a spiritual retreat. (Cell Phone) (Cell Phone) (Cell Phone) Excuse me. (Cell Phone) Yes. Irene. Well, not too well, truthfully. Actually, if I'm honest, things have gone to shit. The Nazis have seized the Ministry. And security? -Give them up for dead. Silence! I have to admit, you've got balls, drawing at a time like this. -If I don't draw, I'll shit myself right now. Ah, no, then you'd better keep drawing. The art still unpainted if I die now... The museums won't be the same. Have I ever told you that you're an egomaniac? I said silence! Don't touch her. Thank you, Juan. I owe you one. Where is Espínola? What are we going to do now? Go to plan B. But, has anyone calculated how history could change... if we kill Hitler? Yes. But knowing what he did it might make it better. Are you sure about doing this? Yes. If the Germans are in the Ministry, there won't be too many here. They're good soldiers. Relax, we aren't too bad ourselves. (HABLA EN ALEMÁN) He's wondering how everything's going out there. (Machine gun fire) I think he should be more worried about what's going on here inside. (Machine gun fire) Silence! No one move. Throw down your weapons. On the ground! Throw down your weapons. Silence. (LOLA) Let's go, there's no time to lose. How dare you speak to us, harpy? The Ministry has fallen and by your fault. I'm helping you. The Ministry has it's defenses, it's own soldiers. And I have sent the Nazis into a trap from which they can't escape. (SPEAKING GERMAN) And what do you think you're laughing at, "dumbass"? That you think you will defeat our glorious army. We'll see about that. To where? To the Ministry. It's the only way we'll know what's going on. These will be our shields. I hope that the Germans are good soldiers. Why, so they'll kill us? No, because a good army would never let their General die. Stay with her. No, I'll stay. The more of you there, the better. Are you sure? Yes. The Ministry is what matters. Let's go. (HITLER) Oh. (YELLING IN GERMAN) -Pardon. Sorry, sorry, eh... (SPEAKING GERMAN) Why are you smiling? I wonder if you've ever killed anyone. Have you? No, you never have. Besides, I'm going to tell you something. It isn't in your best interest to kill me, Amelia Folch. You know me? (LAUGHS) Yes. What do you know about me? Everything. Your father was called Enric, your mother, Carma, and you are an only child because your mother almost died birthing you. That's enough for today. I have business to attend. After what you've done, do you think I'm just going to let you go? I haven't done anything. They betrayed me. I've saved lives, people who would have ended up in front of a firing squad if I didn't get them out of here and who can't escape now. When Napoleon's men wanted to kill El Empecinado, did you help them for the good of humanity? I helped them with the hope that the war would end sooner, so that Spain would change for the better. (SIGH) When I found out they were going to kill him, I wanted to warn him, but it was too late. The Ministry has you fooled, Amelia. Preserving the past? But it's History. Mmhm, and sometimes it's a shitty history. Can you imagine the amount of mistakes that could be fixed? Of course Spain defeated Napoleon. But for what? So that Fernando VII would annul a constitution that had cost so many lives? while he was on vacation in Bayonne; so that he would return and kill so many heroes, like El Empecinado; so that our best men, Goya, Jovellanos... would have to live in exile. Don't move. You're not going to shoot me. Tell me something else about myself. I swear that I will, but not now. (Machine gun fire, screams) -Silence! Up against the wall. (SALVADOR) Finally, Espínola. -Relax. Outside is taken care of. and I will sort this out in a jiffy. Let's see, do any of them speak Spanish? -Yes, this one. Well listen carefully, because this is the last time I'll say it, I have 100 more men in the hallways, and all your comrades are dead, so surrender and we will treat you with honor. Do you understand? -And you understanding this? No, it's not going to be over that easily. Diego, wake up. Diego. -Silence! We will never surrender. We only follow orders from the Führer. That can be arranged. Remove your aim from my boss or I'll shorten him by a head (ANGUSTIAS) Wake up. We have to warn Ernesto quickly. Fine. Someone translate. I'll do it. -Perfect. Tell him to return to Montserrat. (TRANSLATING) To call his boss on the way so he can tell Hitler that it was all a dream or whatever he wants to say, but that I don't want to see them ever again, not even in photographs. And if my boss doesn't want to? Well then I'll just say two words. Exactly. His parents. I'll send a team to eliminate them before they ever meet (TRANSLATING) -And Mr. Himmler will never be born. (TRANSLATING) Go with them, immediately. You, Espínola, can return to Flanders. And don't ignore your phone. -Don't worry. You are Espínola, who conquered Breda? The very same. It is an honor to fight alongside a Grandee of Spain. You are also great, although you don't have a title. (Telephone) (ANSWERS IN GERMAN) (IN GERMAN) Himmler on the phone. "Ja". (SPEAKING GERMAN) He doesn't accept the deal. What did he say? -Better I don't translate. Let's leave here. What a waste of cyanide. Go on, say what you want to say. If you're saying that because of Lola, do not worry I do not blame you. I can't believe what I'm hearing. Surely Lola was a good agent for the Ministry. She made the Germans fall into her trap. Well, yes. We saved the Ministry, the door, and the damn history. This is ready. Well, destroy it. We'll take the prisoners to their car. No, wait. We have to capture this moment. You, on the floor. Take this. Do you think I'm not going to impress my children with my picture of Himmler? To see the face of a losing German... what a pleasure. Get used to it, with Luis Aragonés you'll learn all about it. ¿Luis Aragonés is another Grandee of Spain, like Espínola? Oh yeah, he's one of the great ones. (CHATTER) Quiet and hold still. Cheese. (CAMERA SHUTTER) (NARRATION) "I am Amelia Folch. I travel in time and I just fought against Hitler's army. A great victory, although there is no victory without victims." (Door closing) I have the information you asked for. -Thank you. Are you sure you won't get in trouble? -I don't care. I told you I owed you one. and we Vázquezes always pay our debts. Iván. My son. Father? Yes, it's me, Juan. "Juan had seen the future... and he couldn't live with it". Are you sure you don't want to work for us? I appreciate your offer, but I'd prefer to return to my own time. If you have something to tell me, say it. I'm letting you know that if you go back... nothing good awaits you. I'm going to die,right? It doesn't matter. I want to see my child grow even if it's just for one more day, that's worth anything that could happen to me. Thank you for everything. -Good luck. "I, like Juan, also wanted to know my future." At the store they told me that my house was abandoned and that they didn't know anything about my family. So I was left with only one way to find out anything. I never should have done it". Yes? There's a man here with a court summons in my name, as the head of the Ministry. That's not possible. This ministry is secret from the state. -I have come to defend the interests of the direct decedents of rabbi Abraham Levi, author or "The Book of Doors". It's you. -Will you protect my family? -Five days, not one more. On the next day, this Ministry will no longer be a secret. And what are we going to do? You must travel to 1491 and save the rabbi from the stake. What are we waiting for? It's not that easy. (ERNESTO) Door 148 is in a permanent time loop. You mean, like Groundhog Day, but in medieval times. All rise. For his excellence, inquisitor general don Tomás de Torquemada. I must send you on a mission I wish I never would've had to send you on. (WHISPERS) Look. It can't be. Do you care for my daughter Amelia? Of course I care for her. I'm here, dining with you. (ISABELLA I OF CASTILLE) What is this? Abraham Levi is under my protection. I believe that there is only one possibility left, and you know what I'm referring to. Run! Guards! Obey. No man will be left behind. (SALVADOR) What do you think? that I don't wish he were here instead of burning at the stake. (WHISPERS) Destroy the diary this very night. Quick! She's here! Quick, hurry up! - Hello, everyone. - Hello. Am I late? No. I'm even early, it seems. So... Is everyone here? Oh, no... I see that... Our own Philippe. - Hello, Jeanne. - Hello. May I ask why you're in such a good mood? We're happy to see our favourite manager. Good. You'll smile less when you see the Décopril figures. We'll have to be more... aggressive and tenacious! Danou wants you. - Now? - It's urgent. - Sounds like trouble up there. - I'll go. Get started. HIS SPRING, HER WINTER Come in. Hello, Jeanne. Thanks for coming. Have a seat. Sit down. I'm listening, Maillet. I'll be straight. The parent company's made a decision. Staff at the south-west branch is being reduced, and... - "And"? - 10 jobs are going. - That many? - Yes, 10. Under the circumstances, it's the only way to keep the branch running after the heavy losses, due to generic drugs. "Heavy losses". Don't exaggerate, Hugues. Latest results aren't... Right. No need for such pessimism, Hugues. Thing's aren't rosy. But it's the right decision, Jeanne, and I'm sorry. Jean-Pierre, we know this should have happened a year ago, and I myself... You what? I've a plan to make the redundancies go smoothly. May I know who's leaving? I can't tell you yet. It's not yet official. Is that all? Oh! Wait! There. You have a good team, it seems. - So, that's it? - Yes. - Do you know who's going? - They wouldn't say. It's not official, right? Don't worry, we'll fight. I'm not worried. I must tell you... I couldn't say with Maillet there, but you're on the list. - Me? - Yes. I'm really sorry, believe me. But you're probably the luckiest. Or rather... The least unlucky. Given your age and the relocation rules, you'll be able to take early retirement, and get your leaving bonus, of course. You're relocating... It's a chance for you, Jeanne. It won't be so bad, believe me. Good night. The fish will be pleased. That's the third in a week. They'll get the texts down there. Where can I phone from? Do you have a mobile? Well, me and mobiles... There's a phone kiosk over there. It's my office, but you can use it. - Thanks. - You're welcome. Sophie, it's Mum. No. I'm still at the office. Yes, I know it's late. Tomorrow lunchtime? OK. I'll collect him. You can count on me. Yes... Lots of love, darling. You too... Wait. Wait. It's... It's unpredictable. I'll... It blocks sometimes. - There. - Thank you. - Sure you're all right? - Yes, fine, thanks. Hello. Oh, hello! Your first night with no phone wasn't too hard? It was. But I made an effort... Sorry, I must have seemed ridiculous yesterday, right? No. Sometimes people blow it. I saw you had a car. Are you going back to Bordeaux? Yes! Oh, yes! I'm leaving... Oh dear! In 5 minutes. Could you handle a stowaway? I've a son, Louis, who lives abroad. The rebel of the family. At 18, with a culinary arts diploma, he went off to Asia. He's in Vietnam now. I tried to stop him. Well... in my own way. Now he's opened a restaurant, and is doing well. His taste for adventure doesn't come from me. - Is Vietnam nice? - I've never been there. Even to see him. I'm a disgrace. Stupid, isn't it? Am I boring you? Yes. But as you drive like a maniac, it helps to pass the time. - Like a maniac? - We ought to be dead by now. I've a daughter too. I need 2 hours for her. Spare me! Not your daughter. The bypass will be jammed. I don't know where to go. - Any idea? - No. - I'll go north. - OK, go north. - Where shall I drop you? - In the north. OK. At least you're not complicated. There. It was nice talking to you. - It was mostly me who... - So... Thanks for the adventure. You're welcome. Normally, you say: "The pleasure was mine." "The pleasure was mine." I'm Pascal. And you? Jeanne Dorval. Jeanne. Excuse me, I'm sorry... Hi, Grandma. How are you? How did school go? You OK, Grandma? Yes, I'm fine. "Oh yes, I know it's cold "That the sky is all... askew "I know that neither..." - "Primroses." - "Primroses "Nor lambs are here yet "The earth spins; spring will come back..." - "on its green horse." - "On its green horse "What's a wood without woodpeckers, A garden without lilac? "Everything passes, even..." - "Even winter." - "Even winter." - Grandma. - Yes, darling? I'm coming to live with you. Isn't it a good idea? I don't know. Yes, a very good idea. But it's not possible. You have a mum and dad who'd be sad if you left them. Sorry, Mum, there was an accident just as I was leaving. Weekend emergencies. And the boss came 2 hours late. I sent loads of messages, you didn't answer. I lost my phone. And the landline... - Have you eaten? - I can't stay. I have appointments very early. - I'm not sleeping here? - No. You need a pee? Go on. I can't do it for you. Then we'll go. Mum, I must tell you. It's all gone wrong. - What's the matter? - Guillaume has a lover. I'm almost sure of it. Sure? Do you have proof? Loads of proof. Absences, lateness, poor excuses... He's always texting. If guys could lie, it would be easier. I tell you, he's seeing someone. I don't have to tell you, you know all that. So I'm really pissed off. But don't worry, I'll survive. - Did you tell your father? - What? He'd probably defend him. We have about 7.2 billion people today. That's going to go to nine and a half by 2050. That means that we have 35 years to basically double the food supply. We will need to produce more food than has been produced In the entire history of the world. That's probably the greatest challenge facing mankind. And I'll tell ya, I think we can do it. Yeung: Monsanto gave us a tour of their labs To show us how they plan to feed the world. Gary barton: So this laboratory here, We're looking at over 12 million pieces of dna To try to find plants that have The best combination of dna. Yeung: But what made monsanto famous Was when they genetically modified their seeds. Their scientists use bacteria to deliver genetic abilities Never before seen in any crops. One trait allows the crop to produce a protein So that when a bug eats that plant it dies, But their most profitable breakthrough was to modify their crops To be tolerant to pesticides, But not just any pesticide-- their pesticide. Announcer: Roundup kills weeds Where others can't. Roundup. Yeung: Monsanto crops are now genetically engineered To be resistant to roundup, or glyphosate. This means that you can spray monsanto's pesticide Directly onto monsanto's crops. And while the weeds around it are poisoned, The plant itself survives. Since roundup-tolerant crops were introduced in 1996, Roundup has grown to be the most widely used weed-killer ever. A lot of people do say that this is just an ingenious way For monsanto to sell more roundup. I think it's a good thing. Roundup is one of the safest And most effective herbicides that have ever been developed. And today there's now biotech crops Grown in about 30 countries around the world. Yeung: One country embracing this gmo model wholesale is paraguay, Where the percentage of farmland growing gm soybeans Is larger than any other country in the world. The scale of soy farms here stretches literally as far as you can see. It's just soy in every single direction. Yeung: Gmo soy is booming here, And business at the monsanto distributer has never been better. We're just taking a tour around dekalpar. They mostly buy from monsanto, And they distribute to farmers all over paraguay. ♪ yeung: Wow. Does everyone in paraguay grow monsanto soy? (speaks foreign language) Yeung: Now because the seed genes belong to monsanto, A farmer is not allowed to replant any of the seeds from last years' crops. Instead, they have to buy new seeds every season. Yeung: So farmers are buying a lot of monsanto seeds, And also a lot of roundup. Whoa, that's loads of roundup. This is all roundup, roundup, roundup. How much roundup do you sell every year? (speaks foreign language, laughs) Yeung: We wanted to know whether insect-resistant And roundup-tolerant crops were working as advertised, So we went to meet up with some soy farmers. ♪ What kind of soy do you grow here? Yeung: Have you had any challenges using gm soy? (speaking foreign language) ♪ So none of these weeds were here when you weren't using gm? Yeung: We found these roundup-resistant super weeds Cropping up on all the soy farms we visited. How many of these do you normally have? (speaking foreign language) Yeung: And it isn't just the weeds that are getting stronger. In some cases, the bugs are too. Ooh! What are these? (speaking foreign language) So when did you start getting a problem with these things? ♪ Yeung: To combat these super weeds and pests, Farmers are forced to use larger quantities Of other, more potent chemicals. So locals call this thing the mosquito, because it's got a huge wingspan That just sprays huge amounts of glyphosate all over these soy farms. Even though this gmo system is becoming less effective, It's being implemented over so much land, Making it difficult and costly to change course. Do you feel trapped at all by these gm companies? (speaking foreign language) Back in the '90s when you guys were applying to the usda To get roundup ready seeds into the u.S. Market, You did say in your application that there would not be an issue With glyphosate-resistant weeds. What happened? The important thing to understand Is roundup is still controlling hundreds of weeds. Now how do we make that roundup ready system work better? How do we use, you know, combinations of other products? So you're saying that you guys made a mistake back then in the '90s? As a scientist, absolutely not. But I'm just wondering why you said in the '90s That you weren't expecting any resistance to-- I don't know the document you're referring to. I can simply-- I can send it to you. I appreciate-- it's your application to the usda. My-- my view of this, as a scientist, Is resistance is always going to happen. Yeung: Monsanto's solution to the problem is a new gmo product. This product contains genes resistant to both glyphosate And a more toxic pesticide that they also make called dicamba. We're facing a situation of chemical warfare. So it's only the beginning. Yeung: Miguel lovera is the former head Of paraguay's gmo regulation agency. Lovera thinks the gmo soy model is a good deal for monsanto, But a bad deal For all small farmers. The traditional farmers have very, very little possibilities Of using any of these soybeans. This model is actually producing Large-scale inequality. What are you doing to support small farmers? The benefit to the small farmer, in every case I've ever seen, Has been disproportionately greater than to the large farmer, Because they don't have as many alternatives to begin with. So you're saying that your products are helping small farmers As much as they're helping big agriculture? Actually, more. And if you give a small farmer a better seed, they'll grow a better crop. Yeung: But the seed's high cost Makes it impossible for the small farmers To turn a profit on the amount of land they own. In fact, taking paraguay as a case study, 80% of the farmable land is now owned By less than 2% of the farmers. And additionally, those who grow non-gmo crops Are now boxed in by more and more spraying. This lady says a lot of these crops are damaged When they fumigate the fields right next to her, And the corn doesn't develop as it used to. (speaking foreign language) (speaking foreign language) Yeung: With fewer small farmers Growing crops that people eat directly, Paraguay has had to increase its food imports By nearly 300% in just 10 years. It used to be the case that most of this food that we're seeing sold here Would come from small subsistence farmers. Now, most of this food is imported. It comes from various parts of south america. Now hunger in paraguay has doubled in the past decade. Monsanto's claim was that they want to feed the world, so we spoke To dr. M. Jahi chappell, Director for the institute For agriculture and trade policy, And an expert on food security. Monsanto claimed that they're Helping to improve food security. Is that the case? No, not in any meaningful way. The problem with the global food supply is not a lack of food, And it's certainly not a lack of soybeans or a lack of corn, Which are the two main genetically modified crops in the world. Why are companies like monsanto targeting those monoculture crops? Oh, it's immensely profitable for the industrial food system To sell more really low quality, low-health food to the world As opposed to growing the diverse crops we need to really all be healthy. How do these big multinational agricultural companies Get into these developing countries in the first place? Chappell: The fact that monsanto's net worth is several times The total gdp of a lot of countries Makes it really easy for them to come in And propose, "this is the scientific solution to your problems. "if we increase our soybean exports in paraguay, "then everyone will be better off." but it's not actually reality. Yeung: And it isn't just developing countries That monsanto is pushing around. They've amassed an incredible amount of influence in the us. We met with senator jon teste, a farmer from montana. Tester removed language that had been inserted Into a u.S. Spending bill That would have protected monsanto seeds From legal action. Not only does this ignore the constitution idea Of separation of powers, But it also lets genetically modified crops Take hold across this country, Even when a judge finds it violates the law. There was evidently somebody that put that language in. Now, nobody took credit for it. I'm assuming that they put it in at monsanto's behest. Do you think it's the case that the u.S. Government Has been helping the biotech industry? I think there are people within the senate And within the house that absolutely do that. This is a different way of doing business for agriculture, And I always get really nervous when farmers have always had control of their seed From the beginning of time, and the seed will have to be bought every year By the farmers from an agribusiness company. So I think, as we move forward, we need to do it cautiously, And we need to know what we're getting into. Yeung: Shortly after this interview was shot, The world health organization Declared glyphosate, The key chemical sprayed On these crops, A probable carcinogen To humans. Dr. John mclaughlin was on the team That reached this conclusion. Why are you coming out and saying glyphosate Could cause cancer? One of the main reasons for a difference is just that there's more evidence That accumulates over time. And I think it's an important message to get out. Why don't we do these studies And begin to better understand Whether there are such health effects? Yeung: So monsanto's response is that you guys Have been cherry-picking your data, That this is inconsistent with decades of previous studies, And that it's an agenda-driven process. What do you make of that? It's a rock-solid process. Classifying anything as a carcinogen Is a warning flag for all of us. Yeung: As genetically modified crops continue to spread Across the world, they have become staple ingredients in a lot of our processed foods And in the feed for our livestock and poultry. While the european union and many other developed nations have laws Requiring foods with gmo ingredients to be labeled, The u.S. Has no such law. If companies like monsanto are so very proud of this, They ought to label it for the consumer, just like they do in russia and china. This is our food supply. This is about what we're feeding our kids. And I think that gives the consumers the ability to make a decision On what they want to buy on a supermarket shelf. And that's the way it should be. India is the largest democracy on earth. It has an advanced and growing economy, a highly-educated population, And cutting-edge technological capabilities, Such as space and nuclear weapons programs. But like many countries around the world, India's still struggling to provide for its poor, Particularly when it comes to sanitation and clean water. In fact, a recent un report predicts that, globally, Without dramatic change in the way we manage our water, In only 15 years 40% of the world Will not have adequate access to usable water. So we sent tania rashid to india To find out just how bad the problem is there. ♪ (horns honking) Rashid: We're in meerut, a small town in northern indi. There's all these open gutters everywhere And you can smell the shit, brown water, And it's in the corner of every alleyway. It's in open-air sewers like this Where india's water crisis begins. (man speaks) Rashid: There's no sewage here? Man: No. Can I see your bathroom? This is the toilet. So, basically, someone poops in here And then it goes straight outside. The poop flows in out of the toilet into these open gutters. (woman speaks foreign language) Rashid: They're pouring water out from within the building, And she literally just scoops it out. To deal with these gutters running through their streets, Locals hire manual scavengers. (geeta speaks foreign language) Rashid: This is literally sitting contaminated water, And people are breathing and smelling this every day. (speaks foreign language) Rashid: From here, the water drains, Untreated, directly into local waterways. One of the most polluted is the yamuna river, A vital waterway that runs directly through new delhi. So that is where The sewage comes out. All the human waste is dumped into this river. The yamuna river is considered one of the holiest rivers in india. People come to pray here, People come here to cremate dead bodies. They offer blessings. The stark irony of it all is there's so much waste. The water that's released here is untreated, So it's literally contaminated water. People are consuming it. People are bathing in it. To find out how widespread this problem is in india, We spoke with sunita narain, Director of the centre for science and environment, An ngo focused on sustainable development. About 80% of the sewage that is generated in our cities, 80%, is untreated, and it is disposed of In our water bodies, whether it is our rivers, our lakes, Or even ground water. Without a reinvention of the way we do sewage management, Our rivers cannot be cleaned. As an indian, this is an issue that really does pain all of us. It's unacceptable as human beings. You do not have health security and water security, So the connection between water And sanitation is critical. Rashid: And as we're to find out, It's not just the lack of infrastructure for toilets That is having a profound impact on health. In many parts of india, open defecation is widespread. (gagging) there's human waste everywhere. You smell it, you can feel it. It goes up your nose, and it just turns in your stomach. Because less than half of the households in india Have access to toilets, open defecation has become A hot button national issue. (shouts in foreign language) (crowd shouts) Dr. Shashi tharoor is a former minister of state And member of india's parliament, who's long been a crusader For better sanitation in his country. We were able to grab a moment with him During his busy day here in new delhi. Being a country with more temples than toilets is certainly a bit odd. In some people's mindsets, They simply haven't grown up being used to using a toilet. We've seen a study in the northern city of uttar pradesh. A large number of toilets are built, And 67% of the toilets have never been used. And people are continuing to live near those toilets And go out into the fields. It's habit to some degree. For generations, I guess, they found it comfortable And pleasant to be communing with nature. So you have open defecation that puts toxins into the ground water, Which in turn affects the water kids drink, And the food that grows that they eat. Rashid: When you combine the effects of untreated sewage With open defecation, The impact on india's clean water supply is profound. Today, 92 million people in india Do not have access to clean drinking water. India's bad water and poor sanitation Is a major reason why more than a million children Under five die there every year. ♪ To find out more about the biggest treat this water has on children's health, We went to speak with the head of pediatrics At the all india institute of medical sciences, Dr. Vinod paul, an expert on newborn health in south asia. (man speaks foreign language) Rashid: As dangerous as this situation is, Pollution and sanitation are not even the biggest factors Leading to the shortage of clean water here in india. We spoke to dr. B.D. Tripathi, A professor of environmental sciences at banaras hindu university Who has spent years studying the decline in india's holiest river, The ganges, or ganga in hindi. Rashid: Over the last 40 years, india's population has doubled in size From 600 million to 1.2 billion. In that same time span, more than 30 million water wells and pumps Have been constructed, which are draining india's water table. (tripathi speaking) Rashid: Clean water has become so scarce That millions of people now depend on water trucks For their basic needs. Here, you can see firsthand what a water shortage really looks like. (speaking foreign language) (rashid speaking foreign language) (speaking foreign language) (people shouting in foreign language) Rashid: Unfortunately, during the chaos of filling their jugs, This water becomes contaminated as well. So what you're telling me is that this is contaminated? (kaur speaks) 'cause it touches the dirt. Yes. As they siphon off the water, The dirty tubes inadvertently pollute the entire tanker, Because the ground here is covered in human feces, (kaur speaks) (woman speaking foreign language) (rashid speaking foreign language) (speaking foreign language) Jan eliasson: In india, the challenge may be Sanitation and open defecation. In rich countries, it will be taking care of our resources, Which is the difference between life and death. Rashid: Jan eliasson is the deputy secretary general Of the united nations and former chairman of water aid sweden. We spoke with him about the serious problems with water management Emerging around the world. The problems of india may seem far away to many, But it's a crisis for all of us. We have to realize that we are in the same boat. Water has been taken for granted. We live in a world where, in the next 10 years, Almost two billion people Will be living in regions With absolute water scarcity. Two-thirds of the world population will live under water stress conditions. This is a global reality that we have. Rashid: Severe problems with water Affects almost every region on earth. In australia, south africa, and brazil, It's severe droughts. In pakistan, saudi arabia, and turkey, It's inefficient diversion of water to agriculture. In peru, indonesia, bangladesh, and china, They battle widespread pollution. Here in the u.S., we're depleting some Of our most vital water sources, Like the ogallala aquifer, Which supplies water for eight states In the heart of america's breadbasket. Or in california. After four years of drought, And heavy aquifer depletion, The state imposed its first ever mandatory water restrictions. And last year, more than 400,000 acres of farmland went unplanted. We have a very dramatically dangerous situation right now, A new dimension which is creeping into the water equation, And that is the fact that if you have finite resources, And there's competition about these resources, There is also a risk that water scarcity Could be a threat to peace and security. (people shouting) History's full of stories where you fight about resources, But fighting about water is fighting about our survival. If we don't deal With this problem With responsibility, At this stage, this problem will grow Into a disastrous situation later on. I think it's time for us to wake up. (birds screeching) ♪ - [ Door closes ] - Oh, Trav's here. I love it when he gets off work 'cause his whole body smells like [Sniffs] coffee. Yeah, you know what else smells like coffee? Your cup of coffee, which makes me think this weird hug isn't about my smell. Okay. Need a stir stick? Got one. I also have infinity! Ah, stealing work supplies-- classic move. Supply closet's overstocked. - I'm just helping 'em clear space. - Mm-hmm. And I'm saving a fortune on napkins. Oh, no. We're out of sweetener. [ Gasps ] My boy is resourceful! - Oh. - [ Chuckles ] _ Andy? Hello? This is what happens when he overdoses on sad. First, he lost Bobby, then his job. Now maybe his wife. You guys are amateurs. Watch out. ♪ Andy, Andy ♪ ♪ everyone knows he's dandy ♪ ♪ he's such a good dude who's never rude ♪ ♪ FYI, I look great in the nude ♪ ♪ but back to my friend with the great attitude ♪ ♪ let's all hear it for Andy ♪ [ Chord plays ] [ Weakly ] Song. Cute. Ellie: I've never seen him this down. It's gotten to the point that I actually-- what's that word? "Care"? He looks like a cross between my childhood Saint Bernards and a Cuban eeyore. He even bailed on teaching Stan's music class this week. Andy teaches music? He used to shake maracas in his stand-up act to punctuate any joke that didn't work. He shook them quite a lot. Okay, look, buddy, so, you lost Bobby, and you lost your job, okay, but you're still the mayor of Gulfhaven. No one can take that away. [ Cellphone rings ] [ Beep ] This is Mayor Torres. What do you mean, "Former Mayor Torres"? I see. [ Thud ] Remember how I always thought you were crazy for how you loved Travis so much, you wanted to shrink down and live inside his blood? I am so sorry. I totally get that now! I'm so glad. You know, sometimes I still sneak in Travis' room and watch him sleep. Travis and I live together. I've said too much. Can you believe my boss almost tossed out these old aprons? Luckily, I rescued them for us to use. - For what? - We could swaddle little baby Bobby with them. [ Chuckles ] [ Chuckles ] Okay. Trav is so resourceful. It's basically one step above dumpster diving. Exactly-- a step above. That's even better. Jules, it reminds me of... Bobby. And you know I love me some Bobby Cobb, but the guy who sees a half-eaten taco on the beach and says, "Sand snack, score!" Is not exactly the ideal financial partner when you have a baby. - Maybe you could say something to him. - Relax. Travis is nothing like Bobby. I mean, sure, he has the Cobb instincts, but he uses them in much smarter ways. 50 broken coffee sleeves-- score. There's no music class this week because Stan's daddy is, um... Well, he's going through some things, so we don't have a music teacher. - [ Door closes ] - You do now! Who? Oh, uh, I'm Grayson. Um, yeah, uh, Stan's mom's best friend's husband. His eyes are so tiny. [ Laughter ] So, the city council just stripped you of your mayorship out of the blue? They said I lost public support. How could that have happened? You did fall asleep a lot in those town-hall meetings. My chair was too comfortable. And at that ribbon-cutting ceremony, you accidentally cut that guy's finger off with the giant scissors. His doctor sewed it back on. [ Sighs ] I've lost my Bobby, lost my job. Now I've lost my mayorship. I have nothing. There was the scandal over your leaked Dick pic. That was a picture of me with a guy named Dick! That headline was misleading! - Boom. - Wow, is that a-- Everlasting Cobb-gobbler. Bobby's fridge-raiding masterpiece. Oh, by the way, you're out of turkey, cheese, mustard, bread-- Basically everything that goes in a sandwich. You're really going all in on this new resourceful, "slightly bordering on hobo" thing. All part of the plan. I'm trying to save for the future. - Oh, Trav, that's great. - Well, yeah. I got a family now. What did you think I was doing, freeloading? You know what? I'm really impressed. I'm going to pitch in to your savings and help you with your future. Mom. Oh, my God! This is amazing! [ Gasps ] This puts me over the top. - The top of what? - The thing I've been saving for! What is this? - My future! - Huh? Not so-- Man, it just sat in the parking lot with a for-sale sign all month. I'm so lucky no one grabbed it before me. Super lucky. You don't usually break out Big Chuck this early in the day. - Are you okay? - Great. Just switching things up a little bit. You know, it's like having breakfast for dinner. Mmm! Now, about this van, I mean, it really is a super-cool idea for the future. - I mean, it's like the perfect plan. - I haven't told you the plan. Great, cause I do not understand it. I think I've found an untapped market that, if properly assessed, may be poised... to explode. Okay, I get it. It's like you have a huge pile of dynamite, and you just lit the fuse. I can see it right now-- I still haven't told you the idea. Great, 'cause I still don't understand it. I'm gonna show you. And, mom, trust me, this isn't some, like, get-rich-quick plan. Oh, like your dad's idea for the reverse microwave, where it makes the food cold? Reverse microwave's a good idea in a world where a freezer doesn't exist. Mom... [ Sighs ] you believe in me, right? Of course. [ Both laugh ] You think you maybe want to put on some pants today? Pants are for closers. I'm a bum. What are you doing? I always do that. It turns me on. Ooh! Ooh! What is it? I was thinking about how you lost your mayor's job. Stupid city council impeached me. Do you think you have any enemies on the city council? Well, there is that rich jerk, Roger Frank, who hates me and wants to destroy me. Wait, you don't think he turned the council against me? It did seem weird that you were impeached just days after you were fired, so I called your old company, and it turns out they just signed a new, huge client-- Dustybear Financial. Guess who owns Dustybear Financial. Roger Frank? ! He's behind every bad thing that's happened to me! Well, except for Bobby leaving. Well, it may be a coincidence, but you know that golf club in Georgia that hired Bobby? Guess who their wealthiest member is. [ Groans ] Aah! I like what I'm seeing here. [ Chuckles ] You. You remind me of me at your age. I'm gonna call you "the little lady-killer." - [ Clicks tongue ] - [ Chuckles ] And you seem nice. And dangerous. [ Chuckles ] Play on, playboy. And I'm gonna call you "Prius," because your style is electric. [ Chuckles ] Hear you guys got a little music recital coming up, huh? Let's, uh, check out the playlist. "Hot Cross Buns," uh, Snoozeville. [ Chuckles ] I thought you guys were gonna drop some funky beats, you know? Like C+C Music Factory? Boyz II Men? ABC? BBD? It's the East Coast family. [ Groans ] Whoa. You guys know nothing about the greatest era in music history? That's it. I am taking you to school. We are at school. Figure of speech, Prius. Okay, so here's my business idea. You're in your 20s, early 30s. - I love it! - That was a hypothetical, but I like your energy. [ Chuckles ] You and your friends are going out for a wild night. - What do you do for a ride? - Call Tom. Okay, we're having some problems with hypotheticals. I'll move on. You call a cab. But cabs are boring, and you and your gang want a memorable night, so instead of calling a lame cab, you call The Mystery Machine from "Scooby-Doo"! - Travis, this is great! - Oh, The Mystery Machine! I always wanted to hang around in that van-- maybe try my luck with Old Velma. - You mean Daphne? - I know what I like. Okay, well, Tom loves it too, and he's a brain surgeon. Travis, you're a genius. I think I can have this thing up and running in three months. What are you, crazy? [ Laughs ] We're gonna take this puppy out on the road now! Wow. [ Laughs ] Um, thanks, mom. I am just so psyched for this. Andy: I am so psyched for this! What are you working on? Taking an untapped market by storm. And you? Raining savage fires of revenge on Andy's mortal enemy. Cool. Have fun. Street kids, you know what I'm saying? So they put it together to become Ronnie, Bobby... [ Imitating Sprinkler ] Yeah. [ Off-key recorders playing ] No, no, no, no! You got to play with your heart. You got to feel it. And why wear them backwards? Yes, because inside-out is wiggity, wiggity wack. We are so fly! [ Triangle playing ] - [ Recorders playing ] - Yeah! Huh? ! Now, that is one def ja-a-m! Ha ha! We are going to crush this recital! All: Tiny Eyes! Tiny Eyes! Tiny Eyes! Whoo! Hey, everybody, let me see. Yeah, back and forth. This is old-school. It's how you did it. - Uh-huh. Shore: - Mr. Ellis, Mr. Ellis, this is Mr. Danner. He is the lead soprano in the Gulfhaven Glee Club. - [ Chuckles ] - Kind of a nerd. - [ All groan ] - So, we hired him as our full-time music teacher, so we don't need you anymore. No, but the recital. N-no, but thank you. But our jam is def. All right, do you have enough for the repairs? 'Cause we got to get this baby rolling! - Bye. - [ Beep ] Get what baby rolling? Your baby. [ Laughs ] Obviously. - Should be rolling by now. - Jules? Okay, well, you told me that I should talk to Trav about being more responsible, so I did. And then we bought this old van, and Trav's a genius, and Scooby-Doo, and you're gonna be rich. Sweetie, I see that you are insanely excited about an old van and a plan from Travis that seems like the greatest idea of all time. But it's not. You have your mom goggles on. - "Mom goggles"? - You know, it's like beer goggles. You go to a club, you have a couple drinks, you meet a 9.9 whose 1/10 deduction is 'cause he's too hot, so you ride that train. The next morning, you wake up next to a 2.1 with a hamster body and a gator face. What? [ Laughing ] Okay, Jules, honey, I can't step in now and crush his dreams, but just do me a favor. The next time you two are getting so excited about this genius plan, I want you to take a step back, take off the mom goggles, and take another look, 'cause I think you're gonna be really surprised at what you see. Roger Frank screwed you, and we're gonna screw Roger Frank. Here's the plan. We need the key to Roger's office, but the only time he lets it out of his sight is at his weekly massage. The receptionist is a hard-ass, but I've arranged a distraction. While I occupy the laundry attendant... you steal a uniform... slip into the room where Roger is zoned out post-massage... take the key... without being noticed. Get to the window, where I'll be waiting. I'll make a quick copy... then bring back the original... which you'll return to Roger... on your way out the door. After a quick stop at my highly illegal fireworks contact, we'll have everything we need to take that bastard down. Mm. Say goodnight, Roger. [ Chuckles ] What we're really selling is nostalgia. I mean, this generation has a huge love of throwback themes, things that remind them of their childhood, so what we're doing here is... Laurie: [ Echoing ] takeoffthemom goggles. [ Muffled ] I like Scooby 'cause he's funny, and shaggy too, uh, but not really, and the mysteries they have to solve - because of the ghosts. - Crap. Shaggy goes, "Zoinks." [ Laughs ] And when people see this thing on the road, - they're just gonna-- - Trav, stop. This idea... It's terrible. What are you talking about? Welovethisidea. No, you love this idea, and you love it so much that you made me love it, too. How many people do you know that would actually pay money to party on The Mystery Machine? A lot of people. There's Tom, my co-worker Sam-- he loves this idea. And, uh... Crap. I'm an idiot. Oh. No, you're not. Come on. Just because this idea isn't great doesn't mean the next one's not gonna be. I believe in you. Oh. Oh, now we're out of wine. I don't want to go all the way to the store to get it. Why can't wine just appear whenever you want it to? - Bye. - Where are you going? Uh, I just want to go look into something. But I'll catch up with you later-- maybe when you're done sucking that cork. Shut up. I don't do that. [ Door opens, closes ] Dang, sad pitt. Why the long face? I was dropping mad knowledge on these shorties till this wangsta scrub came in and ganked my crew. Oh, I was helping out with a children's music class till another teacher came in and took my spot. I mean, me and the kids were having so much fun-- you know, really connecting. And then this guy just came in and took over. I feel you. Back in my slut-around days, as soon as I would roll into a club, I would lock down the hottest beef on the grill. If some club skank tried to snatch my catch, I would hog-tie the bitch with her own extensions, and I would take back my man! I would claim that "D"! You know what I'm saying? I really don't. But I can't wait to hear how it ties in with children. If you and the kids had such a great thing, why should you let another teacher - step in and take over? - You're right! That was my class. I mean, I took those kids on a funky-fresh trip to 1990 and back. You know what time it is? Time to... ♪ pump up the jam ♪ Yay! Roger Frank is gonna rue the day - he took on Andy Torres. - Okay, remember, if we get made, we finger the council and say everyone's on the take. Where did you learn all this cool con-man lingo? What do you think? Law school paid for itself? Now, then, it is time to serve Roger Frank and his Dustybear Financial a little slice of payback pie. Dustybear Financial-- why does that sound familiar? - Boo! Don't let the payback pie get cold! - Right! - Oh, hey! Are you here for the show? - I don't know. Grayson texted me and said, "Come to the plaza for some" -- hold on-- "zoom, zoom, zoom, and a boom, boom." - [ Both laugh ] - I don't know what that is, so I brought some sweats and an apple, just in case. Okay, I talked to Travis, and I tried to take off my mom goggles. Business whiz, or mega nerd? It took everything I could do not to give him a super wedgie. Laurie, I'm so sorry I encouraged this terrible idea. It's okay, honey. It just shows how much you care, you know? And I get it now. Just this morning, I was changing Baby Bobby, and he caught me with a laser of pee right between the eyes, and all I could think was, "That's amazing aim, little guy." [ Gasps ] He's so talented! Oh, wait. Do I have grandma goggles? You have lots of different goggles, Jules. But I love you for 'em. Kids, you're gonna hit the last note of "Twinkle, Twinkle," and then-- kapow-- right into "Buns." Hot-cross your own buns. My class has a jam to pump. - You guys with me? ! All: - Yeah! - That guy is wack. - [ Laughs ] All: Tiny Eyes! Tiny Eyes! Tiny Eyes! I think revenge is a dish best served flaming. Why did you do that? It was such a cool line. The other day, you mentioned your Saint Bernards. You had two, I believe. What were their names? I don't think we ever got around to naming them. Dusty and Bear? I thought Dustybear Financial had an odd ring to it. You made it up. Roger didn't get me fired. And he didn't derail my mayorship. I did, by being a sucky mayor. The jig is up, sweetheart. You baited me with an old newspaper, cooked up this plan, then ran me around on a wild-goose chase. Why? You were so down, and I- - I wanted to get that spark back. What better way than blowing up someone's office? But does it spoil all the fun we had to know I made it all up? The fact that you made all this up for me is so much better than any revenge. - Boom. - [ Chuckles ] Listen up. So, Roger didn't fire you... but he is a total d-bag. Yeah, tremendous d-bag. Shall we? Let's. Come on. Hey! Laurie, mom! I want to show you guys something. I had an idea. Actually, something mom said gave me an idea. So I took the van to... Here, just come with me. [ Chuckles ] [ Sighs ] Meet the Winebulance. So, you're out of wine, but you don't want to go to the store, so you call Gulfhaven's only mobile wine bar. What do you think? This is the greatest idea ever! Or the worst. Laurie? I think it's great. No, really, Travis. I-I-- actually, I think it's brilliant. [ Chuckles ] Oh, hey. Here, take a flier. I knew Travis was a genius! God, you know what? I have to say, "You were right." And you can really tell he's been working out. Uh, you can't. He hasn't. I mean... - [ Indistinct conversations ] - [ Laughs ] And next up, please welcome Ms. Corsino's first-grade class. [ Applause ] - ♪ everybody, dance now ♪ [ Rapping ] - ♪ here is the dome ♪ ♪ back with the bass ♪ ♪ the jam is live in effect, and I don't waste ♪ ♪ time on the mike with a dope rhyme ♪ ♪ jump to the rhythm, jump, jump to the rhythm, jump ♪ ♪ and I'm here to combine ♪ ♪ beats and lyrics to make your shake your pants ♪ ♪ take a chance, come on and dance ♪ ♪ guys, grab a girl, don't wait, make her twirl ♪ ♪ it's your world, and I'm just a squirrel ♪ ♪ trying to get a nut to move your butt ♪ ♪ to the dance floor, so, yo, what's up? ♪ ♪ hands in the air, come on and say, "Yeah" ♪ ♪ everybody over here, everybody over there ♪ ♪ the crowd is live as I pursue this groove ♪ ♪ party people in the house ♪ ♪ everybody, dance now ♪ [ All ] Ho! [ Weak applause ] - Let's leave before he sees us. - Yeah. Good idea. [ Fireworks popping ] Thank you for helping me through a very strange time in my life. If this was all fake, how come you have an illegal-fireworks guy? I'm a stay-at-home mom with a full-time nanny. I get up to stuff. And what goes well with an LA face? It's an Oakland booty. - Jump around. - [ Laughter ] Jump around. Jump around. Well, it depends on the size of the bottle and the size of the ship, to be honest. The way you have to, you have to force the ship through, SHIP through. Can I use the toilet? That's probably not a question for me, right? He's speaking to you, right? So... Of course you can. I can put shit in a bottle. Dermot, what the hell are you doing? ! What do you mean, Dermot? ! What? What's going on here? ! Sister, one second. Elsie, what are you talking about, don't blow cover yet. It's time to blow cover. You've almost ruined it, you just fell asleep by eating one of those fucking chocolates, you idiot! I couldn't help it. Do you stand up, or are you going to sit down? I'll stand up. OK, ready? Let's blow this case wide open. I've lost all control of my body. I'm so sorry, Elsie's had a... It's all right, like, why is she calling you Dermot, right? Well, what happened, she's, like I say, she's not... Well, I'm no woman! What? I'm DI Sleet, from... What the...? .. Murder Squad... What are you bringing in here, you guys? ! This is crazy! Successville. She's just a bit delusional, I'm so sorry. Sit down there, Elsie. There you go. We're cops, Goddamn it, Cyrus! You're cops? Yeah. Why didn't you say you were cops? What's this shit about? You've made an enemy of one of the most powerful men in Successville. How did I make an enemy? Work my arms, Dermot. How did she make an enemy...? Both of them, Dermot. What did I do? I just... What did you do? Yeah, what... You made me mad! You know what, you're crazy. You're dressed as an old lady, you have two pairs of glasses on and you've got a head scarf on. Screw you, buddy, I'm just a nice old person trying to help people! Really? Yeah. How did you try and help Simon Cowell, when you pulled past his office the other night? You know what I did? I took my petition to Cowell and you know what he did? He didn't listen, because he don't care about people, he don't care about the town. I think we'd be better off without him! This smells rotten to me. Exactly, Dermot. This looks fucking weird! Save it for the county jail, sister. Right... Exactly. Wheel me out of here, Dermot. Get out of here, come on! We've got Scrabble class. I'm going to open the door for you, because I feel sorry for you, because this is so Goddamn pathetic! I don't want your pity! Just try and... I just want your answers. Don't you cross me! Don't you cross me! You're both embarrassing. The rope's too tight, I can't feel my feet, I need to go to the toilet. Let's just come to some kind of amicable agreement. I'm a very influential man. Here we are. This is Jessie J's place. Wow! Yeah, she was my sensei growing up, she taught me everything I know. Back in the day? Way back in the day, O'Leary. You must remember one thing... Mm-hmm? A relationship with a sensei is based on truth, honour and power. I need to see you perform a power stance. Like this. HE YELLS Oh, like that? Yeah. No, try another one. No. No. No. No. You did that one already. I know, that's similar but more powerful. Try one more. "Hap hap." "Ninya!" Now you're just making up words. I'm not, that's Japanese for "hello." It's not Japanese. Kimaragnas! She's going to be offended if you do that. Rey, hey, hey, hey...! I don't... I don't think we should do the power moves in there. HE YELLS Konichiwa! Brilliant! OK, good, that's a Japanese word. Yes. And one that I'm sure she'll be impressed by. Yes. Let's do this, O'Leary. Hello, Philip. Hakuna matata, sensei. Senpai. We are currently looking into the kidnap of Simon Cowell. And a murder. And a murder. Thank you. And the murder of Amanda Holden. Rumour on the street is you had beef with Mayor Cowell. I have no gripe with anyone, Sleet. The world and time are linear to me. I see and hear all things the world chooses to show me. Look at this one. Hmm. Now, young one, you're obviously not at one with this world yet and that is OK, but listen, let me help you. Because deep within all of us is a spirit animal, a spiritual guide. Now, most people don't allow this animal to take control, but you must. Mm-hmm. Now my animal is a panther, strong, sleek, unafraid. His... Mine is a curious goat. That was it. That's nice. Well, you know, it's all right, I'm slightly ashamed of it. You must never be ashamed of your spirit animal. Yeah, but it's easy for you to say, you're a panther. Why did you pick a goat? You don't choose your spirit animal, it chooses you. Yes, of course. We're going to find yours, Dermot. Are you ready? Yeah. Shut your eyes. Now clear that little mind of yours. Now, I want you to think of the second animal that comes into your head, not the first one, but the second one. Pussycat. Pussycat, nice. Station him, park him for a bit. Oh, there's another animal coming along, what's that animal? Kangaroo. Kangaroo and a pussycat. Yeah. They're fighting. Yeah. Who's winning? The pussycat. Let the pussycat kill the kangaroo. OK. So who's won? Pussycat. That is your spirit animal. Aah, that's nice. You could've been anything you wanted to be in the world and you chose a pussycat. You're a curious goat. Yes, I know, but... What I need you to do now is call to your guide. Make the cries of the pussy cat to the heavens, Sleet and I will join you. DERMOT MEOWS SLEET BLARES It's a very quiet pussy cat, Dermot. Sleet, Sleet, that's great, can we hold the goat for a second? Keep going, Dermot. Sounds like a very sad pussy cat. Or an owl. Sounds more like an owl, doesn't it? More like a sort of... Imagine, just a bit angrier. HE HISSES That's quite good. Well, I don't know, it was very catty. Hmm. Now if you want to ask me any questions, you can ask me through your animal. Do I have to speak in the animal language? That's what I said. "Why were you at Simon Cowell's house?" I went to see Simon Cowell. "What was it about?" Can we stop asking the same question, please? Yes, sorry. This is a place of respite and I wish to meditate. Now, I will offer you guys the chance to join me if you'd so like to. Would you like to? Yes, we'd love to. Take a seat. Of course. Love to. Meditation, have you done it before, Dermot? Right. Now I sense that you two are searching for answers on the outside. Yes. PHONE RINGS Whose phone is that? That's not my phone. It's not my phone. I gave Philip my phone. It's coming from you. Why can I hear it coming from this direction? It's not my phone... It's coming from here! What's going...? You know my rule about technology, Sleet! Give it to me! I'm sorry... Dermot, give it to me! It wasn't my... I don't care if it's yours, you're not having it in my fucking dojo! I'm sorry. Sorry if we've offended you. And I don't like Simon Cowell trying to get rid of this place to turn it into telephone towers. I'm not having it! I've told him I will defend my sanctuary to the death and I'll say the same thing to you now. Seriously, the total lack of respect... SLEET YELLS Konichiwa! What, what is this? What is this? These are our power stances. I get this, this is not powerful at all. I know, it's weird. He... Get out of here! I hate you! OK. Just back out, Dermot, slowly. Back out. Slowly back out. Leave me in peace, this is my haven! You are now a suspect in the murder of Simon Cowell. I don't care, I'm glad he's dead. He's not dead, he's been kidnapped. I was trying to fool you. Oh, shit! Thank you, Philip. Go! Konichiwa, Jessie. You know, I like you, I think you're a fantastic personality, I just don't think this is the way to achieve your objective. That's all I'm trying to say. Last suspect was sweet shop owner Alan Sugar. We had to be quick, because like a badly stocked spice rack, we were running out of time. Hello? Hello? No-one home. No. Listen, O'Leary... Yeah? Mayor Cowell was going to close this place down. Hygiene or some crap. So they've all got motive. Oh, yeah. Listen, do you see what I see? Sugar ain't around. He must be upstairs. Yeah. Maybe we should get his attention. Well, no, maybe we should just look around and try and find clues. Smash, smash this place up a bit. Smash the table. I don't want to... Let him know we're here! Like really smash it up. Argh! We're here! PHONE RINGS I've got... O'Leary, I've got to take this. That's, please don't take that call. I've got to, booty calls. I'm looking for the truth, Mr Sugar. Alan? Alan, someone who's smashed up the shop. Mr Sugar? You got some sort of problem, boy? We've got some talking to do. And I'm looking for the truth. Yeah, well, I'm telling you the truth. You want to smash my shop up? Not particularly. Let's smash, let's smash it up. Let's smash it up! Come on! Come on! Let's smash it up! I appreciate you're a little bit angry... HE LAUGHS Have one! Have one! These are beautiful. They're great. What do you want to ask me? What do you want to know? Have a nice fruit salad. One of your five-a-day. Thank you. Yeah. You can eat them... Why have you got it in for Cowell? Cowell sent his boys around here, did you know that? ! Health and Safety, rummaging through me stock! All right, they found a little few things. Couple of mice. So what's, what's the...? Few rat droppings in the lemon bonbons. Couple of fruit salads was way past their sell-by date. Three years. That's not a crime, though, is it? Well, enough to get you shut down. Is it enough for you to kidnap him? That's what I want to know. I'll tell you what I know - he don't know nothing about sweets. And I've got sweets running through my veins! I know that. Look at me! I know that. I'm on my own, I've got nothing! Open up. There you go, it's all right. It's all right. Plenty of other, there's plenty of other sweet shops out there. Could I have a bit of the strawberry laces? There you go. I had everything, now I've got nothing! There you go, eh? Time was of the essence. We headed to the station. For clues? No. For something a little more important than that. Come on, O'Leary, follow me. Phew. Listen, O'Leary, I know we're up against it time-wise, but, er... Yeah, big time. We've got like, we've got to save Simon. Dermot, give me a second. There's a bit of a big deal happening. Right. Sid Lowecroft is leaving, um, this is a little present for his daughter. Oh, OK. Put this on. But he doesn't know who I am. That's what the whole kick is, he'll get a kick out of the new guy. He won't get a kick out of it, he'll go, "Who are you? "Why are you gate-crashing my last day?" No, he won't, as soon as he walks in, blow that. Then give him the doll, read out the letter. Yeah. It's some kind words that I've written down for him. OK. And then let one of these bad boys off. Doll, letter, boom. Bingo. I'm going to go and get the cake. Let him know that we're ready. You're not in this with me? No, no, no, no, I'm just going to go and get a cake. Right, hide under there when he comes in. Right. Are you ready for this? Under there? Yeah, under there. Under there. This is going to be great, he'll get such a kick from this. Good stuff, Dermot. Are you ready and settled? Yeah. Sid? Yeah. Hi, Sid, how are you? All right, yeah. I know we haven't met, I'm Dermot. Good, good. You're the new lad? I am. I'm Dermot, how are you? Good. Good to meet you. Yeah. It's your last day. Is it? Yeah. No, it's not. No, shall I... You're leaving, aren't you? You what? You're leaving and Sleet said I've got to sort of like, you know, just give you a surprise and give you presents for your daughter. Well, I'm not... There we go. Wonderful. OK, then he's written some words for you. Yeah, go on. Yeah, this'll be good. What? Go on. Oh, man. "As your sectional manager, "I've been asked to inform you that your employment has been terminated. "The following violations have been logged by HR. "On the 5th June, CCTV caught you going into a woman's locker room "and pleasuring yourself over Sandra's knickers. "On 5th July you drove your police panda car "into Tony's Volvo in the staff car park "and then jumped on the bonnet screaming, "'Screw you Tony, you think "'your dick's so big, you think my wife likes your dick more than mine. "'Sob sob.' Please hand your badge and your gun in, "you'll be escorted from the building immediately." What, you're... What, are you, are you joking? No, I'm sorry. This isn't my... I don't, I don't know you, I've never met you before. He told me to, he told me you were leaving after 20 years of police service. What sort of way is this to break this kind of news to someone? I know, it's shit, man. HE LAUGHS Are you taking the piss? Have you just...? Because it's his first day. First day? Taking the piss? Flipping heck, mate, you had, right, so, so it's a joke then, is that it? No. Isn't it? Still sacked, I'm afraid, Sid, I just thought I'd let Dermot hit the ground running. Put a fun spin on it. You're a pervert, Sid. You need to get help. I know. Right, we have a big case to solve, something you're not going to have to worry about now, eh? No. Big cases and police work. Sleet, don't say that. I'm really bad at breaking bad news. Yeah, yeah, no fucking joke! That's why I thought I'd get you to do it. Yeah, really fucking funny! OK, I, I'm sorry, Sid. Be careful, yeah? Are we going now? Yeah, we go. Come on. We'll just leave him here, he'll be fine. Good luck. Thanks. Bye, Sid. Sorry. Don't steal anything while you're here. I got a call from Bomb Squad, they'd found Cowell. The only way to deactivate the bomb was typing in the name of the kidnapper. Miley, Jessie or Sugar. Time for a hero! Dermot O'Leary's here! Get out of the way! Get out of the way! O'Leary, this is it. Yeah. Judgment Day. Hey, everyone, Dermot O'Leary's about to defuse this bomb. You ready? Yeah. Do it. Return? Return, enter. Oh, shit! Jesus! Oh! Looks like we need a new mayor. What in the name of Satan's arsehole is that? ! I told you to save him, not blow him up! Sorry about that, boss. Sorry about that? ! Is that your fault? Well, it was O'Leary, sir, he, er, completely went for it. He went rogue and started typing things into the computer... I didn't go rogue. Anyway, you said you 100% trust me, I didn't go rogue. Oi, big boy, look at me, yes. Explanation now, yes! OK, I thought the killer and the kidnapper was Miley Cyrus. Did you? Yeah. Right, why? She had motive, there was a bypass going to go through the old people's home. I thought the old people loved the VHS, she knew her way around a VHS. And the... And the delivery of the ransom note was in VHS. You got that completely wrong. The person you were after was Alan Sugar. It was obviously Alan Sugar. Why? The Mayor was going to close Sugar's sweet shop down, it was all he had, he was a desperate man. Did you not see the VHS player in Alan Sugar's shop? Yeah. You did? Yeah. Yes, well, did you not see that the hostage tape was misspelt, yes? "Kidnapp" takes one P. You were closer to that than me, I didn't get to look at that. Oh, stop talking, please! Hey, don't start blaming me. Don't start blaming me for this, O'Leary! Lana Del Rey was... That's on your conscience. The point is, O'Leary, it couldn't have been Miley Cyrus because she told you... No-one ever beat Miley Cyrus at Scrabble. In other words, she could spell! We should have just questioned her normally. Well, all right, in retrospect, sorry, we should have questioned her normally. Everything in Sugar's shop was misspelt. Oh, I see. I've trodden in more intelligent things than you, O'Leary! Sorry. Yeah, you're fired! And it'll probably cost me my job! I hope you're happy. You should go for mayor. That's actually a good idea, sir. You two disgust me. Fuck me! Well, every cloud has a silver lining, even the cloud that is black and smokey, because it's an explosion with a dead male in the middle of it. Come on, O'Leary. I know a place that's open all night long. O'Leary's Bar. Hey. Teddy and Mick run it. Come on. They're not related to me, are they? Well, they won't admit it now! Hey, look at this guy, remember him? Yeah. Philip. Phil. Ha-ha ha-ha, see you, Phil. Hey, Phil. Oh, we're not allowed to use this car now because you've been sacked. We'll have to walk. Come on. MUSIC: Cuddly Toy by Roachford # Yeah, you gotta feel for me, baby # Feel for me, baby # Yeah, you gotta feel for me, baby # Feel for me, baby # And give me some love... # The person whose name is written in the notebook dies. The cause of death must be written within 40 seconds to make that happen . Cardiac arrest is systematic absence of cause in . Light Yagami Please, let the pass. Thanks! See you soon! Amane Misa soon! She is too cute. It gives much joy. Let's eat? Sorry, I have to work. They lack personnel. Serious? Let's go eat where you work. Okay, but not seeking discounts. - You guessed it? - Obviously. Yagami, you want to become official? It's not my concern more than that. You got the ambition, right? I know not you can become rich. Ambition is not everything. Though life forced him earn money does not buy happiness . When I am in trouble, correct me. In the shit? Y has an entrance examination here! True. - You can do it, you. - Sorry? You got better grades than me . If you're motivated, you can aim high. No thank you. No thank you. Hold. True. You quickly do the accounts. You think? Have something to eat and live in serenity enough for me . - The addition, if you please! - Right now! - Welcome! - Good evening! Gosh... You're Kamoda? I Sakota! You, you're Yagami? Hmm? An acquaintance? Quickly done. We're in the same class. I see. Therefore take up. - There you go. - The red suits you. Wait! Ressers him. I studied abroad. I had to go faster than expected. You're surprised? Are you went to jail, yes... Give me that You think this is enough? Who's the next You mattes what, you None All right. The next is the wealthy Kamoda. Let's go . 8 7 6 5, 4, 3... What a pity! You've broken the record, there It is shielded No, nothing. We will remain good friends. What can we do, Light? It goes again... Kamoda. You're gonna give me 300,000 yen tomorrow. Huh? ! Stop! What? Stop doing that. I still have it in the head. Your glance. Give me that! If he brings me wheat, I am returning. I will not let go. I would have preferred it disappears. Yagami Good evening. If you are not looking, off. It eats electricity. Hey! I watched! - Where's Daddy? - It not fall tonight. Yagami Sayu Hey, I'm starving. Why do not you make yourself room. I'm exhausted. No heart! DEATH ... Book of death? How to use it . This is English. The person whose name is written in the notebook dies This works if has the face of the person in mind. This is ineffective on people of the same name and surname. The cause of death must be written within 40 seconds for that to happen. Cardiac arrest is systematic absence of cause. Very fun. Ouch! I will not let go . I would have preferred it to disappear Ridiculous. - This is his? - Yes. Yagami, you know some Sakota? - Yes. - Mr. Yagami Light. Yes. I checked the content and it's your mobile phone. He was in his jacket pocket. Uh... He reportedly died. Died? Water boils! Last night 23 to 30 h at a motorcycle race he crashed into the barriers a crossing. He died instantly. You know him? Mr. Yagami? We were in the same class. But we did not go. I saw him yesterday, to my work. He had to return to that time. I see! Good! Sorry for inconvenience. The person whose name is written in the notebook dies Cardiac arrest is systematic absence of cause in . It's that 'an accident. The small breakfast ready? I am in a rush. I do it on. I want bread. I freaked out yesterday. Sakota During his run, he had a pain. Sometimes you what, Sakota? It crashed into the train, and is the result. It's been what, in fact ? - This would be a heart attack. - A heart attack? This is not true... This is not true... I can not believe. This is impossible. No... No... Do not be sad guy. - Huh? - It was a night protection. You know, between us he spent his time annoy others. Look at the comments of his former comrades. Everyone is happy. His death brings them satisfaction. "Master Sakotaaaa" "Finally dead." "He not deserve to live." Yesterday one person died . Yet there is more people satisfied The head of murdering a taxi driver this morning and the theft of her recipe before taking flight from the video of the taxi, it would be the former inmate Otoharada Kuro, 46 . The address he gave to his release is false. It took a notice research to find him. Done. He resurfaced Otoharada. Now I count on you to find him. Then... Yagami. Do not disappoint me. Yes. - Return to your quarters! - Yes. Chief, this time... Refer to the jurisdiction, and will investigate. We must give them every detail. Yes. Course. This Ogiso a big head. Yeah, but wait. The head endures same. The leader knows the suspect Otoharada? You not know? It was he who arrested 10 years ago following a settling of drug-related. That's him. All 2 at the height of summer was messed 10 pairs godasses. It must have cost money... - Matsuda! That's not the problem! - But yes! This is not money, but their legs ! We can do nothing without money ! It was an expensive summer. M. Yagami, you got it! Congratulations. - In the interrogation room. - Heard . You too I buterai you. You will see I'll have your skin too, you'll see - You heard.? You'll see! - Mr. Yagami . The hospital contacted us Your wife goes wrong dot Let us do. Go to her . No, Otoharada priority. I will go to the hospital after . Why are you not come immediately You've been called many times, why not come to you? Mom! ! Mom - Dad! - Good evening. Good evening. Have you eaten? You want beer? I put in fee for you. You want in? Please do! - I you peel an apple? - Useless. So I bring you an appetizer . Where is Light? I go. Wait! What? It's rare that you come . You work your administrative competition? What happened to you? Nothing... I aim for mayor of the city. Even if I fail, I not go into the police. I understand. Wait. The murderer... What? What murderer? No, nothing. This type of case will still continue... Just like your difficulties. I will not go on again tonight... Take care of the house. Young man. What are you doing? Next, there was the bag of recipe taxi company. A knife would have fallen too. His weapon was not found. It's hot chestnuts... Mr. Mogi! We are informed that a gunman retreated to a residence. Dirt! It is impossible that it could kill... - Hello! - Yes. - Dad left when? - No idea. He even not given money. You've eaten the apple basket? It is he who ate the ? Three? Slim! I have to go! - In position! - Otaharada Kuro. Drop! Otoharada! Go! Shut up! If I pop you! Mess. What manure! Chef! - Hostages? - 2 persons. A mother with her daughter schoolgirl. A schoolgirl? Unable to move without putting them in danger. Will contact the supervisor, and launch the assault. - Heard! - Wait. Today, it does not burn the garbage. Sorry. Mr. Matsuda! Why my father hostage? Your father has traded against the girl. What? ! What it seeks to do ? ! I hate those who do it alone! Sorry. We will try to learn more. Your father know the hostage taker. When your mother died it is your father who stopped Otoharada. What? As for his responsibility to the crime he committed... Hey, Matsuda! What do you do? - Get out there! - Heard... There's your sister inside. See you later! Sayu... Yagami! Dad... Dad! Was recovered girl! The leader? This is not good, Mr. Mogi... Otoharada... Remember Me? You should know that your acts no sense. Make yourself. Why do you think I agreed to share with you? You need to know? ! I will kill you You will see This is a promise! The man cut inside to by the police this is Otoharada Kuro, 46 years. - The suspect in the early morning of 20... - Otoharada... killed a taxi driver to Using a knife... Kill the man and save my father! Kill him! Kill this man! Sayu... If you shoot, they will launch the assault. If that happens, I can do anything for you. Farm somewhat valve tone! I also want to save the life of a murderer. Do not condemn you! Otoharada. Shut up! Shut up! There's change . To disarm the hostage taker special forces would prepare an assault . The person whose name is written dies in this book The cause of death must be written within 40 seconds to make that happen A cardiac arrest is systematic absence of cause in . The suspect Otoharada, would still entrenched . Otoharada Kuro... You go end up like me! DEATH NOTE... If you're true then kill him! Creve! 40! Next to the armed man - the psychological impact must be such that ... - Come on, get out. Go, go! We just heard a shot A shot was produced within ! - M . Mogi! - The assault! Launch the assault! For the moment at the time of the shot the assault was launched It evacuates a victim One hostage was released The hostage would be the owner of the residence , 36 . Is she accompanied the police officer The two hostages are safe . - Chief, are you okay? - Good. - Eh. - Yes. What was that shot fire? A risky shot. Otoharada was caught pain. Creve A sort of spasm? No idea. The murderer would be dead inside . The police officer has not received the shot the killer allegedly shot because of pain . We repeat The murderer... So... It was a real... Dad! I'm fine. Where is Light? Party somewhere. We can not count on him. How it is possible... I would have preferred to live . without knowing such a thing I killed 2 persons... Me? Sorry. Papa. You want to die? I am the former owner of the Death Note . I am the God of Ryuk death. Do not be so surprised. From now on, you had to understand that it is not a simple notebook? How does it feel to kill? Shit! Papa. Sayu. Farewell. You do not want this notebook ? My presence does not mean that you will soon die. Light Yagami. The Gods of death do not take souls. Contrary to what humans say. Once the notebook falls into the human world. It belongs to the world of humans. In other words, it's yours. I do not want! Well, well. Still, you should not forward saying relative and all. You should show the hierarchy respect. Whatever is the idea you get, say first to me. I will forward that after filtering. It is a risk to you once we take a reverse. Even if it is a risk, I should get all the credit. Promise on Lord Hanuman. - You locked me so. Okay boss! What is this boss, like calling the adjacent guy in a bar. If I call dude to boss instead of boss, it is an insult to you only. I see, then boss is fixed. What is this file in hands like Panchangam in the hands of a priest? Oh god! Never finger this file. This is purely personal. Sorry Boss Very good Karthik - Thank you sir You have successfully joined into his chamber. What is your next move? To make the next move, I need a dummy fool from your department sir. What? - Yes. Though he cannot work he should have the strong will. He should have confidence though he has no common sense. There is a guy like the perfect package for all these qualities. He comes keeping his brain in deep frizz while coming for duty. Interesting, who is he sir? Suzuki Mother is Honda and Father is Maruthi. Son coming in collaboration is Suzuki, Suzuki Subramanyam alias Peter alias Pakodi Frustration: Unable to bear Depression: Unable to hide Innocence: Unable to believe All operations he took up till now are disasters. He strongly believes in all the wrong ideas he gets. He is crossed border to catch Afghanistan Terrorists and has put a barber shop. With the frustration that no customers for 6 months, he forcefully shaved beard of one. With that they shaved his head and made him sit on a donkey. He till then has not understood that none shaves their beard in Afghanistan. I need such a person going blindly ahead sir. Where is he? - In the bar Will he drink so early in the day? Not for drinking, but to trap a gangster by name Tiger Bhai. He is been working there as a waiter and is waiting in the same bar for 2 years. Why did you bring leg pieces when I asked for egg whites, you jackass? By mistake, I will replace sir. Why did you bring egg whites when I asked for leg pieces, you dead loss? My mistake, I will replace sir. Why not just reverse it? - Two mistakes. As I am starving for a success in my career, I am bearing this. Hey Pakodi, Tiger Bhai has come. Take Chilly Chicken and chilled beer. ['Sher'ishindiwordmeaning'Tiger'] Yes, Tiger Bhai and Beer Bhai will come. That Tiger Bhai will not come at all. It is Tiger Bhai, who came. Why did you say Tiger Bhai then? What do you say 'Tiger' in English? - Tiger! Have I served him for a year without knowing that? What ? Should I newly tell you the order? I should tell you a new matter, you are under arrest. Without knowing that you were Tiger Bhai, I fed the militants who crossed the border for a year. Suzuki Subramanyam alias Peter alias Pakodi. Though I have no success, I did 16 undercover operations. I was side tracked as bad luck is in my back pocket. I will get into main track now by pushing you in. If you are undercover, all these are my cover. We are the undercover to cover you sir. Undercover for the undercover? Excellent! Do not underestimate diamond as it's light and department guy as he is short. Thank you guys. I am very happy about my first success. This is your last mission. This is the last job I will be giving you. That means, are you dying sir? - Suzuki sir, last mission for you That means, am I going to die sir? - You will be retiring next month. My God! It is true. I forgot about the age being busy with the missions. You should be very alert in this mission. I am into form with my first success. I will rage up now sir. No, just follow Karthik and that is enough. IG sir has asked me to follow you, keeping aside my seniority. What should I do? You should do acting. There should be content in the character and I will sit in that putting a tent there. Your acting should be very simple, natural and convincing. Stop it. I gave performance as a jobless barber for 1 year. I withstood the troubles as a waiter at the bar for 2 years. I begged on the shore of the Musi River for 3 years. I sold dry fish in hot summer without slippers. Not even one could find me out as undercover. What have you achieved doing all these? It is dirty acting with expectations. It is natural acting doing for happiness. Take any creature in this nature and I will show you living as that. Is it? - Yes Then the monkey. Show us how it behaves in different situations. Ask Monkey in anger. Monkey in fever Cunning Monkey. Alcohol drunken monkey.. Monkey feeling cold Wow, super! - When asked to bring an actor you brought an animal. You maintain the same energy. You will have no opposition. Our mission will have no taking back. If anything happens? - You will not be there. Have you thought this Uganda Yugandhar is dead? Will you not inform me that my nephew is into coma till I call you? There is Facebook, Twitter, Skype and the latest WhatsApp calling. Will you still be there, when the technology is so developed? [SpeakingGibberish] Why have you come back from Uganda leaving out the lands? What lands bro, you bought 1000 acres spending a lakh. Added it is a great danger with those black fellows. They chase for even egg, bread and coriander like in Temple Run and kill it. [SpeakingGibberish] You drove me to Uganda to get relieved of me. Then there Linda was stuck to me.. She does not know the difference between a keyboard and a remote. [SpeakingGibberish] What about you? What are those engagements in that house when my nephew here is in coma? Tell me.. Instead of catching the guy beating my son, will you hit my brother? Malini, listen to me. Please! Hello.. Sorry madam. I dashed without noticing you. - It's fine, leave! When I dashed her, why do you telling sir? You tell me that, madam. - It's OK! Say the same in smile madam I will slipper you, if you still follow me, idiot! Thank you. Have I done what you said as it is? You did improvising it. - But why did I do it? You till date have used brain for all the operations. Please just use the body for this, it would be enough. Hey Giri, send these photos immediately to P. R. O Venu. Madam, this wedding card is ₹ 5,000. We get 20%. Is it the commission Mr. Mutyam? - Discount Mr. Rathnam. [₹5,000with20% discount=₹4,000] This is with dry fruits and almonds. It would be very good. Just ₹ 10,000. I think a lot would come, as discount Mr Mutyam. This too is bit expensive, but... Jayaraj's dark biography revealed! What idiot? I read the published as it is sir What is this Jayaraj? - It is all Trash! I'm entering politics, right? Cheap tricks played by the opposition people. Computer graphics! Yes madam! Sir is like fire. Smoke has thus come out.. Mr. Ratnam I ate the salt of your father. I cannot bear when something is going wrong. I understood it all madam. - What Karthik? They look like wife and husband looking at the body language. When this sadistic husband is torturing that soft wife, sir seems to be pacifying them. Expression in the face does not look so. He is a sadist and not an artist to give the expression you expect. Correct! The happiness in the face for sadist when torturing is seen like torch is put on his face. Exactly, I remember it now. When I went to the hospital as a friend was not well, this couple was seen. When he was torturing his wife linking with the Compounder, I had pacified them saying wife is like a Goddess. Such should not be told but are to be slippered. Sir, RP sir is on the video conference from Malaysia. You relax, I'll take this conference call and come. For the family, sir is given the clarification. What about for the public madam? Mr Ratnam, who would care about such silly news coming in the yellow magazines? Madam, we are calling from ABN. Will you raise voice against the illegal relation of your husband or support him? Stop it! That is all fake news. Don't spread the rumors being a responsible channel. Please.. Madam, we are doing half an hour show Wife at home and lover at the hospital. We will cover you for 20 minutes, if you come to our studio. That's all trash. Who are you? From N TV? - No sir, from TV5. It is about Jayaraj sir, who is recharging instead of relaxing at his age. You said that was a yellow magazine. Now the matter has spread to media. What would public think about sir? Boss, I got an idea to solve this problem. I got a doubt to say it to you or madam. You promised on Hanuman and gave a word to this brother. You need to tell me that idea. Simple! What if we bring that sadist husband and soft wife in front of the media and make them say that are husband and wife? - Problem will be solved. You said half and I said half. But the whole credit is mine. Love you, king. Jai, continuous phones from all the channels regarding this matter. I am unable to understand what to do. - Relax, Vasu! I told you to leave it, right? Not leaving sir. I got a wonderful idea. If you like it and use it, you should gift me an Alto car. I will give you an Audi car. Tell what is that? If we bring that sadist in the photo and that site that lady in front of the media and make them say to be husband and wife and also that sir is genuine, all the doubts will be gone into the sewer. Very good idea. Mr Ratnam. - Madam.. Track their address. Sir, Audi car! This is injustice, sir. Why do you beat me when you told you'll buy me an Audi car? Actually I had to kill you for giving such an idea. Idea given by dude is not bad, sir! Actually they do not know each other. - Meaning do you both have it, sir? That girl is my Facebook friend. - Who is that girl? Means.. Aunty. That is when I put message asking how she was, she replied saying her son is not well. When I went to hospital for consoling, some bloody guy took photos and published in the magazine. Why don't you tell the same matter to madam clearly sir? You know about ladies, right? Yes sir. They give life if believed and take lives when they get a doubt. Thus we need to do something and see that Vasundhara doesn't get any doubt. I would somehow catch that stranger and make him agree to act that husband character. You convince your Facebook friend and somehow make her agree to act in the wife character. We will make them both sit in front of the media. Our problem will be solved. Thanks Karthi, you be on that job. - OK sir, Master, you do your job. Leave! Jayaraj, why has that IB officer come here? Which IB officer? Him.. How is that guy an IB officer? He is the son of my plant manager Ramachandra Rao. He is the same officer who closed down your liquor factory and closed down your Hawala hub and also the one who hit your son and sent into coma. I have seen him with IB Chief. Shit. Ramachandra Rao - Sir. Come to my cabin immediately Okay sir.. Sir.. - Is your son a Police officer? I am asking you. Why do you laugh? Is your son a Police officer? He is not even passed Inter. How can he become a Police officer sir? No, he is lying. He is a Police Officer, I have seen. I now understood whom you have seen. I, myself was confused being his own father. No surprise in you being confused. What are you saying? There is a Police Officer who looks same as my son. He even has a girlfriend. He speaks non-stop in Hindi. My son doesn't know any Hindi. Are you sure? How can person failing Inter and working as stuntman become a Police Officer sir? You can go now.. - OK sir. Sudhakar.. - Sir. I am sending the details. You do an inquiry. You're so fat! - Hello.. you. Do you know him? Our Bruce Lee.. What is he doing? - He is stunt man.. How long you knew him? - I knew since my childhood. By the way who are you? What do you want..? Police.. Yes Sudhakar. Sir his name is Karthik.. He is Stuntman.. Okay.. Thank you. What his dad said was correct. There is another person looking like him. But we cannot take chance. Hello sir.. I am sending a photo. Hack the IB main server and check whether he is there in the employee data base. His name is Vikram Kumar. IPS 2012 batch. Thanks Stephen. Confirmed, both are different. - Strange! Hello sir.. As said by you, they hacked and searched the IB server for you. We created your ID as an IB officer. They confirmed that I'm a police officer via audio. Now I'll show them the video. Why are you still here? Have you not still caught him? My target is to catch you. - Will you call Chairman Sir informally? Inquiries should be done on criminals like you and not on Police like me. Sir, he is that fellow. Bad news! I sent your son into Coma and I will send you to Tihar jail. Get Ready! I'll break all of your bones, bastard! Good news sir. Sir, he said bad news and this guy said good news. This fellow is him sir. That stranger has agreed. If you make your Facebook friend agree, it is like the scene is all set sir. Okay.. Is it not nice? See that one Hi Ria, - Where are you? In Kalamandir - Turn back once. Are you surprised? - I am shocked. Why? When I was thinking it would have been better if someone was there to say second opinion on this shirt and you correctly came in time. Come, you can see and say it. Where is brother? He may have been to the trial room. How is this? Looks dreadful! You can be however in normal times. It is the marriage of your sister so you should be decent. Again you? Why are you following me? This is the final warning, if you talk again I will shoot you. Sorry sir. You are that Police Officer, right? You too are here, madam? Carry on! Ria, you try out this dress. This is not good. - This is first gift I gave you. Fine! So sweet! What is this shirt, so bad? Try this one. - Call from David master, I need to go. Try this first. - Please sister... Try this and leave. Excuse me.. Please open the door.. Thank you.. Can I go now? How is this? - Super! Awesome! What is this lady? - Is it your mom? Hello Aunty! This girl.. - Sister? Hi.. Has the entire family come? Where is uncle? He had piles operation, right? Has he recovered? Shit! Does father have piles? Actually my dad and I are thinking to come your home and discuss about marriage. Marriage? Who is this girl? You wait mom. I too have the same doubt. Who are you? Who am I? - I will tell. Friend of the Police officer who looks same as you or his girlfriend. Sorry, even I was confused before and now you are confused. He is not your guy, but our guy. I don't believe this. Your guy talks fluent in Hindi and my fellow murders it. If required test him. I am unable to understand what is happening here. Is this true? Dad, what is she saying? - Hindi.. This is so strange. I just watched dual roles only in films, but never thought I would experience it. If you don't mind, I will take a photo and send it to my boyfriend. Sure.. - He will be really shocked. Sorry uncle, sorry aunty I need to search where he is. Bye.. Let us see the saris there. Come on. Tell the truth. Is there another one just like you? Yes, he is there. Here. Meaning is she your girlfriend? Yes.. - She is so good. Why are all these dramas? You could have introduced all of us, right? Main matter should be cleared for introducing to you. Are you mad? Should I act as a wife to some stranger? If the same was said in Uganda, they would have killed the husband and made a pickle of him. Do not try all such with my sister. - Shut up! Malini, Vasu got a doubt. If that is not cleared, my 20 years plan would be spoiled. You always say plan, what is that? Harischandra Prasad while dying has put all the major shares on the name of his grandson Rahul. He has put me just as his guardian till he gets married. After that the entire property goes onto his name. Your situation then is like security dog till then and a street dog after that. After the marriage of Rahul, I will create an accident and finish the entire family along with Vasundhara. If it was a high society match, there would be issues like investigations and inquiries. But if it is a middle class match they would jump in joy because of their luck. They adjust thinking fate was bad when they die. Thus I selected the daughter of my company employee. You had thought so much for our future. I am ready. - I too ready. Linda, I will call you back. I'm in a mission. Hi brother-in-law! Is he your brother-in-law? Your brother in law is inside. Please do not mistake him. He has the sight problem. Prestige problem to wear spectacles. Where is your husband? He has the ego problem. He doesn't come unless called. Hubby! Suzuki Subramanyam alias Tukaram, He transformed as the sadist husband now. Qualities: Infinite doubt. Sadism: Speechless amount. Ego: Unbearable amount. Why are you shouting? Do you think I am deaf? I have not thought so. - Why are you shouting then? Tell me. Cool brother-in-law.. How dare you touch me? Am I your brother-in-law [Informal] ? I am your brother-in-law [Formal] . If you can touch me, I will kick you off.. Who are you all? Have you come for donations? No sir, we came on an important work with you, What is that? Look at this once. What is this dark angle? From how long is this going on? Tell me how long is this happening? Do not hit brother-in-law, sister is like fire. Then you cook on her. You ass. From how long is this going on? - Why are you hitting her unjustly? Why are you feeling when I am hitting her? Why are you talking so with such a great man? What ? He is shown concern on you at the hospital and now you are showing on him. Are you both planning to show me a movie now? Hubby, it is ₹ 5 lakhs. You liked it and bought it at Germany. I do not care.. Tukaram sir, you are unnecessarily imagining whatever. He is a public figure. But my wife is a private figure. - You are misunderstanding. I am telling as a wife, he is a very great man. And has also got Padmasri in recognition to that. Opposition people used this photo to showcase him bad. Though your husband looks cunning, you look very genuine. What do you want me to do? You should have a press meet and say publicly. You want me to make all public, that happened in private till now? Not that he has a relation, but you should say there is no relation. Still, what are these issues on our marriage day? Your marriage day? - It is so in the script. Script? - In the script written by Lord Brahma. I will think tonight in my drink whether to come tomorrow or not. Karthik, he is over acting a lot. - True, sir! I will kill him if he is seen again. Send him away from here immediately. Fine sir.. - Jai.. Coming Vasu Good Morning madam Good Morning Karthik. How are you? Where are you going quickly Mr. Muthyam? New sites have come from Pune and I need to show them to Sir. You said sites and why are there items here? So are these what you show to Sir daily in the name of sites? No sir, these are the sales girls selling us the sites. They are not like sales girls, but look very indecent. Be quiet, you always get such waste doubts. Mr Macha, you please leave. Not that madam.. - You please leave! Thank you madam.. They look a bit peculiar as said by Ratnam sir, madam Looking at this, may be what they wrote in the magazines too is true. Mr Ratnam! I ate the salt of your father. I cannot bear when something is going wrong. What is your intention, Ratnam sir? Do you doubt that those are not spouses and sir himself has set them up for acting? I was into a confusion till now, but it is now confirmed. Doubt No. 1: Some fellow had come called sir as brother-in-law. Doubt No. 2: When she was hit, sir is shivering with anger. Doubt No. 3: When their valuables are being broken, he is getting angry. Doubt No. 4.. - Mr. Ratnam... Madam.. - Stop it now. Something is wrong. Everything is wrong, madam. You go their marriage anniversary party in the night. Observe whether they are real husband and wife or not. We had to commit that psycho as husband as you slipped your tongue then. Now we are having to continue that as you slipped the file. Can't avoid sir, as it is our need. But, that fellow should not put his hands on him. Why do you feel her as your wife, sir? She is just your Facebook friend, right? - Whoever it may be but she is a lady, right? Fine, you keep watching in the web cam. I will control the over action of that mental fellow. Go and somehow catch that jackass. I will handle him, you go and make your Facebook friend agree first. Impossible, I cannot tolerate his torture. He is just disgusting. Please Malini, Vasu got a doubt. Please co-operate this once. Fine.. This better be the last time. This is the last time. Thank you so much Malini. Brother-in-law, he confused me like a new app in the morning. Now I got a grip. I will squash it like Candy Crush. If they does any extras, will mix cocaine in the Coke, they will die in coma. Put the web cam in on. I will watch it all. - Done brother-in-law. Bring faster, like a bride! My friends arrived! Hi.. Hi, buddy.. - Hi dude. Happy marriage anniversary! - Thank you! Come. All these are my childhood friends. Hello.. hi. You would have passed Degree, by the age they were in diapers, right brother-in-law? Do not search for logic, you will miss magic. Happy wedding anniversary Tukaram sir. - Thank you very much.. Our Vasundhara madam has sent this gift for you. Oh.. Thank you. Take and keep this inside. Madam, this is your marriage day. Can we see your marriage album? That is.. Album got burnt in the fire accident. Buddy, let us start the party. - PK must come, right? You mean PSPK, Is Pawan Kalyan coming for the party? [PSPK: PowerStarPawanKalyan] It is not PSPK who is coming. Just PK, my friend. There he arrived. Happy wedding anniversary.. - Thank you PK His name is PK. He has recently come from the neighboring planet. He settled here because of missing his vehicle. When all say astrology looking at the palm, my friend says it looking behind the palm. LOL! Do you think I am the joker card in a rummy game? Today morning I saw a piracy CD of PK movie.. I'll tell the original story behind the PK movie.. When Rajkumar Hirani met him in a bus, he narrated his story to him casually. He seriously made it into a film. - I will not believe.. I will make him believe. Stretch your hands OK.. The place you live is Uganda, your wife is Linda and she completely ditched you. No, it is a lie. [SpeakingGibberish] Half proof has come and now I will show you the full proof. To send a few into coma by mixing cocaine in coke, he put cocaine packet in this pocket. This is peaks PK sir. Do you say what is in pockets just by catching the hands? Oh my God! All this looks like a setup. I do not believe. Will you believe if I say your hierarchy? - Tell me. Stretch your hands. Your Name: Maniratnam. Your Father Name: Sivaratnam. Your Grandfather Name: Navaratnam. - It seems Ratnam is the common capital for all. Exactly.. This Maniratnam is a bonded slave to the family of Vasundhara Devi. He is now here to find out a secret. This is peaks to the peaks and is sensational. Oh my god.. I remember by secret PK bro. If required I will catch your feet. You catch the hands of my wife. Say whether there is someone else in her heart. I helped so many people. You are my friend. Come! What is this meaningless thing? Even if my sister agrees for this test, I will not agree. My sister is like fire! Who are you to agree? Catch his hand. Why do you just leave without saying anything? I cannot break families by telling. Ethics are wealth for me. No problem, tell. My heart is like the granite. Then listen this.. Another one is seen in your wife's life. He is a very tall guy and dangerous man. He stepped in a company as an employee and has married the daughter of the Chairman. Correct, right? Oh no.. Not all those, but say the name. - His name.. Signals are not clear Tukaram. Is this any cell network for the signals not being? You said all my details continuously like a news reader Why are you getting struck so now? Tell PK, Please tell PK.. Please.. No.. - Tell that name.. PK please. Please PK.. - No.. no. This man kept his mind as an open book. This lady is hiding in her mind. Who is in that first, bloody? Is it that dark angle fellow? Tell.. Who is he? Tell. Stay cool.. Mr Tukaram all these should be taken sportive. If I take it sportive, my house would become Uppal stadium with her boyfriends. I'll kill her! - Don't hit her.. Hey no..no. I'll kill you all! - Okay, boss! Where will you go? No.. no. Come there! No.. Who is he? Tell me Who is he? Will you torture her when asked to act like her husband as she got a doubt? She is my wife and my everything. Will you put your hands on her? I will shoot you Stop it. Vasu, that is.. She is.. - No need! You have cheated me for all these years. Do not try any further. Tomorrow is Rahul's marriage. Once that is over, you just not need to resign for all your designations in the company, but also withdraw your Legislative Council nomination. Else, I will have to open up. Mind it! Thanks bro! Nothing more and nothing less. All have smashed it up. Subramanyam sir, you were awesome. Medal is guaranteed for you. Thank you.. Hello.. He is unconscious as he was tortured for many days. What is the condition sir? Doctor said he will be alright within 2 - 3 days. We had known about Marthand from the person who hacked IB server and arrested him. Your under arrest.. Marthand changing as the approver has said it all in detail about the Grand Palace Killings. Duplicate medicines have started releasing into market by Jayaraj under label of Vasundhara Pharmaceuticals So Many people are dead due to that and also by illegal drug testing. An employee by name Shyam Prasad knowing about this matter.. has complained at the drug control board with an evidence. Officer from Delhi for inquiry arrived. All those details are in this pen drive. I will take action on this as a drug control officer. Jayaraj knowing this before hand.. .. due to the fact that the case would fall on him if he directly kills them both.. .. planned a mass attack and made everyone believe it was a Terrorist act. A boy working in the hotel found the Pen drive and he gave that to Ravi. Jayaraj's chapter will be finished once your brother regains consciousness. Your mission is completed. Thank you sir. There is yet another bigger mission in pending now. What is that sir? Telling my daughter Ria that you are not a Police. Be careful! My nephew Deepak woke up from coma. Get well soon Deepu. Your dad is very much worried Sir, that Marthand fellow has said it all in the investigation. We all will have to go into the jail once that Ravi fellow is conscious. He focused on your son and made him sit in a corner. Now he has focused on you. He seems to do whatever he has planned sir. A selfie for safety It is not possible in Cherlapally jail. Why are you silent sir? What shall we do now? Silence is unpredictable. It is difficult to estimate the silence. It is further difficult to estimate the loss from that. Hello.. - Are you Ria? We admitted Karthi in the hospital. - What happened? He got 3 bullets in the shootout with gangsters. Situation is too critical. He actually wanted to retire from Police job but has continued for you. When he said to join as a stuntman, I refused. I committed a big mistake. It is a lie that there is another one like me. I am not a Police as you are thinking. I am a stuntman. Bruce Lee! I tried many times to tell this to you but could not say it. It was not to cheat you. Due to lack of courage.. Reason was the fear that you would leave afar. I'm sorry! I am loving you not your profession. Love you ♪ Hey Bruce Lee ♪ ♪ With your looks, you've hit me a googly ♪ ♪ Hey Bruce Lee ♪ ♪ With your looks, you've hit me a googly ♪ ♪ Hey Bruce Lee ♪ ♪ With just one touch, I'll be your family ♪ ♪ Oh my lovely bug ♪ ♪ My hunger has increased after seeing you ♪ ♪ You've pounded my heart with a pestle ♪ ♪ Let's go, I'll teach you romance my dear ♪ ♪ Whose punches have extra kick ♪ ♪ He is Bruce Lee, the one who becomes my husband ♪ ♪ Hey Bruce Lee ♪ ♪ With just one touch, I'll be your family ♪ ♪ A head light is hitting me in the eyes ♪ ♪ From your tempo trolley of beauty ♪ ♪ To say goodnight in the morning itself ♪ ♪ Is what this iron man's breathe is dying to tell you ♪ ♪ I'm the mango jelly ♪ ♪ I'm the sweet chikki ♪ [ChikkiisatraditionalIndiansweet generally made from groundnuts and jaggery] ♪ Bite it just a little bit ♪ ♪ And eat all you want daily ♪ ♪ Who removes the jasmines from your braid and make a flowery flag with it ♪ ♪ And celebrate, he is Bruce Lee ♪ ♪ Hey Bruce Lee ♪ ♪ With your looks, you've hit me a googly ♪ ♪ Hey Bruce Lee ♪ ♪ With just one touch, I'll be your family ♪ ♪ Your mass looks makes the mind mental ♪ ♪ You brought down the pistol bullets in heart ♪ ♪ The steps you take are spectacular ♪ ♪ Girls will say 'hats off' to you ♪ ♪ You're the china sweet ♪ ♪ I brought the dolly ♪ ♪ I'll tie the knot ♪ ♪ You'll definitely be my wife ♪ ♪ On whose looks, a flower will blossom ♪ ♪ He is the fiery Bruce Lee ♪ ♪ Hey Bruce Lee ♪ ♪ With your looks, you've hit me a googly ♪ ♪ Hey Bruce Lee ♪ ♪ With just one touch, I'll be your family ♪ I killed many officers investigated on me in the initial stages. But, you have come very far. How did you think that I would leave you? How much was I hit by small boss, because of this fellow? He should not be alive now sir. I'm the one who should kill him. Correct sir. Kill him till you relieve your anger. The whole magazine should be emptied. Today is no enemy day for us. No enemy will be left for us henceforth. How is that sir? Vasundhara with son and daughter-in-law would land in Aurangabad and leave to Shiridi by road. Let's block their mobile networks. They cannot contact anyone. Nobody else too can contact them. Them going to visit God will be going directly to the God. Take this body and throw it in the Gandipeta River. Why are you tensed? I am not getting the signal when I am trying to speak to Karthi. Even my phone is not working. It is surprising. You are thinking who I am, right? I am son of Jayaraj. I am Jayaraj's son. My dad i.e your husband has planned to kill you all. My men can do that work, but do you know why did I involve? Because of you I lost the identity as Jayaraj's son for 25 years. I will not just take my revenge by killing you all now. I will become the King of your entire empire. Karthik Are you still alive? Due to the shock I give, both you and your father.. .. will go bore as your bolts will become loose. To know your father's counter schemes after Vasundhara Devi caught him red handed.. .. we replaced Ram G with our Master. They are planning to kill you. - Master, do as I say. Master, this is body bullet's remote. You should handle this. Okay Our Master gave you the gun which had dummy bullets. We showed you a dummy death via cinema technique. I am a fighter. There will be no interval until I finish the mission I take up. Just climax. If it missed there, it won't miss here. Karthi.. Come on! Jump! Come on! Keep going! Karthi.. Karthi.. Tell me Mr. Ratnam! Sorry sir, the entire family has died in the accident. What? They collected the bodies on the highway and sent it by cargo sir. They will handover if you come and sign sir. I am coming immediately Mr. Ratnam. Hey Macha, you had seen a business man in me till now. Now you will see the actor in me. Very agonizing thing has happened sir. Sir.. Vasu.. Business man in you has got the Padmasri. Now Oscar should be given for your performance. I need to look at face of Vasu and my son once. Open the box. - Sir please.. I said open the box.. - Can't bear seeing this. Open it.. Open it! Deepak! How was the shock? Have you enjoyed or not? Are you the Police guy? - What is this agony, sir? Did you think about killing madam who gave you a great life, her son and my sister? It is wrong. It is very wrong.. - Meaning.. You fool! How can I let all this happen when I am there? Sorry sir! How can I hold your collar? I would make you hit and run on the streets. I will exuviate your blood, bastard! You had shown only dual characters so many years. I showed you dual role. Not understand? It was me who hit on your businesses as the Police officer. It was me who exposed your flashback to madam by joining as the PA. Your son has died for the sins you committed. After knowing about you, I thought you were a villain. I now came to know that you are not even that. I hate myself for being the wife to a fellow like you all these years. Ram G, kill them. - What to kill, my Dosa? What man.. He is not your CI Ram G, but my master. What are these twists over twists like one plus one offer sir? To know about your schemes daily, I locked your Ram G in and put my master in his place with you. That third box is waiting for you. IB chief is safe. Once my brother opens his eyes tomorrow, one non-bailable warrant will be issued on your name. Your meter will be shattered with that. Sir, he is a real fighter and is thus hitting very strongly. We are left now with just one way. We will escape to foreign in special flight. We will have many sites there. I will not leave the guy who killed my son. Sir, ruthless fellows like you should not have such revenge and emotions. He showed me my son's corpse. I will show him what I am. Hello.. Where is my dad? Ramachandra Rao Sir.. Ramachandra Rao, I called to say a few facts about your son. What has he done sir? - He has done a lot. He sacrificed his education for his sister's education in his childhood. Did you not understand? Knowing you cannot educate both, he purposefully scored low marks. As you cannot make your daughter as a Collector with your income alone, he became a stuntman. After arranging everything for an opportunity to make your daughter an IAS.. He handled it carefully without your knowledge. Do you know why? To give you the satisfaction that you made your daughter as a Collector. I could not believe all these when your daughter was saying it all to us. But I am believing it now. He risks anything if your family is touched. What if I kill you in front of his eyes? Sorry Ramachandra Rao! You only showed me the dead body of my son. But I will show you the death of your father. I am giving you 15 minutes time. It is your choice whether you save your father by joining him in hospital.. .. or save your girlfriend in our custody at the stud farm in that time. You decide! I am leaving this country now. Good bye! Karthik Karthik - Thanks for coming. Sure. What's he doing here? Didn't they break up? Two months ago. Chill. Tell him to go. This is a mourning, not a nightclub. - You tell him. - I will. Don't you dare insult him. - Want me to cancel my trip? - No, I'm fine. I just hope they don't fall apart on me. - Thanks. - For what? For coming. Honey, we discussed this. Just come tomorrow and help with lunch. I keep my nose out of Dorona's business. I'm afraid she'll hit me. It's time to go. Come on, honey. I'll drive you home and come back. I don't want to leave them alone-They'll fall apart on me-. It's ok, I'll close the door. - Were you smoking? - No. Liar. Give me one. - Where's the pack from? - They're Mom's. Once a week, Saturday morning, with a shot of arak. - Mom smoked on Sabbath? - Where did you come from? She promised not to smoke on Saturdays. - It's cold. - Did you take them home? Kobi has an ear infection. They don't need to be here. - Where's your pervert friend? - Stop it, Natanel. On the way to Frankfurt. - Really? Is he a flight attendant? - No, he's a lawyer. Why? I thought you were all flight attendants. Cavemen are less primitive than you. I'm not a flight attendant. You're not like that, you just got swept away. I hope you're not back together. Shut up, both of you. I haven't slept a wink in four days. I'm going to shower and then I have to talk to you. - About what? - You can't shower. - Why not? - You're in mourning. It's forbidden! You can stink as much as you want. I'm going to shower. Give her a break, okay? Why don't you shower, too? I promise I won't tell Raziya. And Dad knew all these years? I told you, they only just got tested, he just found out-. How can that be? What did... Mom... How? What did she do when... I don't know, and it won't help to ask. I never cease to be amazed at how little I know that loser who calls himself Dad. And you believe his crap? He makes up bullshit to get us off his back forever, blood tests, my ass. He should get an Oscar for his performances. A Pulitzer Prize for a sick mind, the scumbag. We have to get the house ready tor tomorrow's guests. I need pictures of Mom. I don't have time for his crap. - You think he made it up? - I don't care. - Why would he? - Wait, what does it mean? That I'm a bastard? If Raziya's parents hear this they'll take her back to Brooklyn with the kids. I'm done for, don't you get it? Fuck! Why did she keep these marbles? What a moron! Did she expect me to play on her grave? Who saves marbles? Leave it, just go to sleep. I'll clean up, okay? Mom, what did you do? What are you all dressed up for? Get down from there, it's dangerous. From where? What are you talking about? Doborobon, don't ask me and I won't ask you. O-bo-kay-bay? (Okay? ) No-bo. At least give me a hint-. You're not 5 years old any more. - Was that a hint? - Was that a hint? - Are you repeating what I say? - Are you repeating what I say? Do you know what this is? It's Dad's receipt books. You found Dad's stinginess collection. I thought Morn threw out that crap. Aren't you starving? Are you telling me he wrote down all his expenses? It's from when he used to wake us up with a whistle. "Dad's inspection." Cheapskate. On July 12, 1980 you ate a Popsicle, Dorona-. Look. "Popeye Popsicle for Dorona, 40 agorot." What's a Popeye Popsicle? I'm glad you've calmed down. You had me worried with your freak-out-. What? You look nice in those undies. Surprising. Did you think I sleep in a suit? You have a cute ass. - God help you with that sinful talk... - Why sinful? Maybe we don't have the same father? Who knows, maybe we have a different mother. Maybe you came out of thin air like Jesus. But if I had to choose, I prefer you. You're sexier than him, too bad you're gay. Look. He stopped keeping track 6 months after I was born. So what? Why did he stop? Did he stop spending? Maybe he was fed up- - Right-I was born and he got fed up-. You aren't so special- He's fed up with all of us-. I have to talk to my son. Say "Daddy", Yarivi. Yarivi, say "Daddy." "Daddy-". He's a night owl, like me. What? Who's a cutie? Who's a cutie? Who's beautiful? Why don't you bring him here? He's growing up in exile. - He's with his mom in Budapest. - Where's Budapest, in the Negev? She's in school there, pest. If you married her she wouldn't have left. But like an idiot you told her you're bi. - 'Cause I'm not a liar. - "Bi" my ass There's no such thing as bi. What is it, a bivalve? What are you, an oyster? Go ahead and laugh. Budapest... Everyone there is anti-Semitic. - They closed them. - Closed what? The concentration camps, didn't you hear? Just you wait, what was, shall be again and there's nothing new under the sun. - Hello. - Hello. Your dad sent this. There are two more crates outside. Did you tell them? He knows, too? You know, too? I'm done for. - He wants to talk to you. - Big deal. Have you considered how he feels? A guy raises three kids and 30 years later he finds out he's not their father. Stop being his lackey, Ricky. It's his fault that my mom's dead. He paid the surgeon $3,000 under the table - to make sure she'd be okay. - Oh, yeah? - The Arab took a bribe. - How do you know? He told me- - You believe all his 1001 Nights stories? He's waiting outside. Really? Why doesn't he come in? Natanel! Wait! Natanel! See? I told you not to come. "...beyond any blessing, song, praise or consolation "uttered in this world, and let us say Amen." - Amen. "May there be great peace from Heaven, "life, bounty, salvation, comfort, health, "forgiveness, abundance and deliverance, for us and all Israel "and let us say amen." - Amen. "May He who makes peace in His Heaven make peace upon us and upon all Israel, "and let us say amen." - Amen. Thanks, honey. Not a word to Raziya. Okay, honey. If you ask me, Mom was a spy. She grew up in Algeria, right? - And she visited Aunt Rosa in Paris once a year? - Yeah. She met an Algerian spy there who she knew from childhood and brought the secrets to Dad. Do the math. Dad was in Intelligence. - He was a cook in Intelligence. - That was his cover story. So the Algerian spy got her pregnant? - Maybe he was an Arab. - God forbid. Maybe she was the spy. Or a murderer. Ever see her kitchen cleaver? - I know. She was a Nazi hunter. - What? Then why did she take us on a heritage tour of Oschwitz? Since when did she have family in Oschwitz? It was an educational tour. We're Jews. Unless your father is a little Arab spy, - which makes you... - Shut up. And what's "Oschwitz"? The word is Auschwitz. Oschwitz, Auschwitz, it's the same crap. Stop it. - Where to? - To sleep. - Dad's inspection. - What? I cracked the case. I spent all night with this garbage. The delightful record of an obsessive cheapskate, but it's also the entire history of this family, - before I was born, of course. - Where did you find Dad's whistle? Don't interrupt. Okay, as we all know, Mom and Dad got married in 1965. Morn was 19, and that's when Dad started keeping records, right? You, Natanel, were born in 1976 and Dad bought a stroller. So? It took them 11 years to have their first child. So what? We know that. Look. Exactly 9 months before Natanel was born it says: "June 23, 1975, plane tickets to Paris for Yonah, "1,400 liras" What's your point? - She visited Aunt Rosa every year. - Right. 9 months before you were born, 9 months before Dorona was born, and 9 months before I was born. What does it mean? I thought you didn't believe him. You convinced me it was all baloney and now what are you saying? That Morn went to Paris in order to get pregnant? I'd better kill myself now. Maybe Dad and her jumped in bed every time she got back? That makes sense too, doesn't it? What did she do? Vacation. Just vacation? She'd show up at my house once a year and rest. - Did she have someone? - What? Did she see someone? How dare you? ! Aunt Rosa, answer us. We just want to know if Mom had someone. Before or after Dad. - Why? - Because! Why can't just you tell us? ! - Why are you shouting? - Because you annoy me! If she shouts I won't tell you anything, not about Algeria or anything. Algeria? What about Algeria? Did she have someone in Algeria? Did she go to Algeria? How? They wouldn't let an Israeli in. - Then what's in Algeria? - Nothing. But you just started to say something about Algeria. Nothing. We were kids in Algeria. I don't remember a thing. Everyone only asks about her. "Pretty Jonah, pretty Jonah." What about me? Why don't you ask about me? What if I'm sick? Are you sick? And where's your husband, Dorona? Why isn't he there? And why don't you let your father mourn with you? Was it nice of you to throw apples at him? Did you hear that? I'm going to bed. I'm going to shower. I'm going to die. What now? Nothing-Count me out-. I'm an orphan, I don't want to be a bastard, too. What's up? - Is Natanel here? - Yeah, over there. Do you always have to be late? I have a teachers' meeting. - You brought water from home? - Yeah. Happy? Watch what you breathe, the air here isn't kosher. Cut the religious crap, Natanel. What's with you and God, anyway? We know you love Miss Orthodox, does that mean you have to wear this costume for her? Yes, but you wouldn't understand since you only love yourself. - Witty! - Did you find work? No, and please don't bug me about it. Why don't you move back home? I swear to God, if you don't shut up... Don't take His name in vain! Let's not waste time. I have to open soon. - Are we watching a movie? - Patience. Recognize this picture? It's from when Morn took you to Paris. So what? We know the picture. Look carefully. See anything odd? - Is this a quiz? - Just play along. Who took the picture? Aunt Rosa, of course. This is from the same trip. Aunt Rosa just had the eye surgery that she still talks about. I don't think she went around taking pictures of you. Wow, Shai, James Bond has nothing on you. She reminds me of Stevie Wonder-. So who took this picture? I don't remember a thing. I was only five. Look. Whose bag is that next to Mom's, and whose hat is that? It's a man's hat. - Maybe Morn bought it for Dad. - Yeah, right. Anyway, this is what we have so far. 1. The picture. 2. Dates of Mom's trips. 3. Algeria - black hole. And, oi course, Aunt Rosa. She's obviously hiding something. The conclusion is: We have a father and we need to find him. And the conclusion is: There are pills, Shai, and you need to take them. "Have a father must find him!" Maybe you're right, maybe I'm nuts, but I can't sleep at night and you can't either. Don't pretend. What are you getting at, Shai? Tickets to Paris, voucher for a hotel on the Champs Elysees, inflatable pillow for the flight. Maps. Even new swimsuits. The hotel has a pool. You are nuts. He's nuts. We fly a week before Passover. - I can't. - You're on vacation from school and Dorona, you're free now anyway. - But... - I spoke to Raziya. You told Haziya? ! I just told her it's a surprise for your birthday. She was thrilled. Where'd you get the money? It's all on me. - But... - None of your business, Dorona. I have the money and I want to do it. But what'll I eat there? You're looking at a nut and that's all you care about? I want to try and find him. Why? - What? - Nothing. - Where to? - Paris. He wanted to come. And you agreed? What did he tell you? Nothing, I swear. You have separate rooms. - And he speaks fluent French. - So do we. - Yeah, like morons. - Is he going to be with us the whole time? I'm going home. Shai got you business class? Why only you? Don't drink too much, your legs will swell. - When will you tell me what you did? - When will you tell me what you did? - Are you starting again? ! - Are you starting again? ! Why is Kobi screaming, honey? Then who is that, Yitzhak? Why are you crying, Yarivi? Your father called me. He said he might want to come too. Suddenly everyone's interested in me- I'm a celebrity-. It's all kosher, dear. Poor Jonah, my beautiful sister. She was better at everything else, but I could teach you how to cook! So what are you up to, Aunt Rosa? What can I do? I teach Hebrew. Besides your leg, are you feeling better? Why? - Are you better? - What do you mean? He's asking if you're better. You said you were sick. - Me, sick? - Aren't you sick? I'm as healthy as a horse. This is in Paris. You came to visit, remember? Your mother came every year. Do you know where in Paris? - Do you remember? - How? I was only five. Then how should I remember? Take a look, Aunt Rosa. On the bench, next to Mom's purse... - Yes? - There's a man's bag and hat. So what? Lots of men in Marseille wear hats. Marseille? When were we in Marseille? What do you mean, Marseille? I told you, this is Paris. You just said Marseille. I made a mistake, so what? I'm not feeling well. - Just tell us who took the picture. - I did! Don't be angry, Aunt Rosa. When Morn and Dorona came you'd just had surgery. You couldn't have taken it. What surgery? - Eye surgery. - Oh... But that wasn't then. I'm telling you, I took the picture. Then your mom photographed me with Doborobon-. I'll show you. - What? - Your whole hat theory... I feel like an idiot. Why does she call me Doborobon? It's been half an hour. She fell asleep. Check her, maybe she's dead. She drank too much, that's all. Oh, yeah? What about Marseille? When will you realize nothing's going on... Too much garlic... Let's give her a few days and then, Shai, you go talk to her. We stressed her out. You mean I stressed her out? - I didn't say that. - Then why did you look at me? Butt out. Who asked you? You're right. - Ricky, what are you doing? - Going to have some fun. How did you know my size? I asked Ricky. You're tough on him. I didn't tell him to come, and you butt out. Did he cheat on you? - Did he hit you? - Are you crazy? Then what is it? You're just like Aunt Rosa, always hiding things. That's right, like the adoption thing. You even hid it from Morn. Why can't you share? - None of your business. - We can help. How? You want to be a surrogate mother? You're such a hypocrite. You didn't tell me about Amiri. What's that got to do with it? The difference between us is that I don't bug you. Hide as much as you like. No, Dorona, the difference between us is that Ricky is crazy about you, God knows why. Amiri, on the other hand, just doesn't love me. That's why he left. And yes, I'd love to be a surrogate mother for you if I could. Sure, sure. Look who's here, Elijah the Prophet. Raziya says it's okay. What? You could have asked what my size is. I asked Haziya. You can come in it's a public place. - Why did you come? - To the sauna? I'm cold. To Paris. Was it my brothers' idea? - Then why? - Because I love you. - Those are just words. - True, - but they're kind words. - For who? - You're so beautiful. - Yeah, sure. You're naked! So what? This is Europe. Everyone goes in the sauna naked. - You're crazy, you have an erection! - So? Someone could come in. I don't care- - Ricky, what is this? Sorry, I can't control it. I see you and I get a boner. How can I talk to you when your thingie is pointing at me? You don't have to look. I won't have sex with you now. Who asked you to? And I'm not getting pregnant anymore. Forget it. Why do you have to punish yourself? What are you guilty of? - Did you ever count how many pregnancies I've lost? - We've lost- I don't remember you ever being pregnant. What is this, a suffering contest? You don't know what it's like to give birth to a dead child. Ricky, I'm not pretending. I really don't want to adopt. I don't want to be the one who poisons your soul. You deserve Amuka. You deserve sex in a sauna with a normal woman. You deserve children. I can't raise a child I'm not sure I'll be able to love. What about me? Please go home. I'm not going. Why don't you pick up? - I thought it was... - Never mind. Dad's at Aunt Rosa's. She wants us to come. - What? - Dad is at Aunt Rosa's! - He came especially? Why? - How should I know? He isn't answering. Where is he? Ricky doesn't have to follow us everywhere. - What did Rosa say? - To come. You're more hysterical than her. - Hello. - Hello. Why didn't you invite me along? That was very unkind of you. You want to know who your father is. Good for you. Really. But I want to know, too. I want to know who raised you, who was with you all your lives. I won't hold you up. Have some tea and go. It seems Aunt Rosa has something to say that I thought you should hear. That's all. Rosa, where's the Sweet'N'Low? In the kitchen? I swore to Jonah. I have to pinch myself, I think I'm dreaming. Cut it out! It was in Algeria. That's where she met him. Met who? Maurice. He wasn't handsome, actually. He was thin, black as night, but she didn't care. A 16-year-old girl. Our father wanted to die when he found out. He made her life hell for a whole year. He locked her in her room so she'd jump out the window. Until they decided to run away. Only I knew where they were hiding. I was afraid for her sake so I told. That's the big secret? That Morn had a lover when she was 16? What was his name? Maurice? Maurice what? - Was he older than her? - No, he was just a boy. An orphan. They said he was a Communist. - That's why they kept them apart? - No. - Then why? - He was an Arab, I think. An Arab? - Are you sure? - I'm not sure about anything. Okay, what happened when they got caught? They sent her to Paris and made her have an abortion. Why? Was she pregnant? Why else? For fun? The very day they caught them, Papa sent her to Paris. And two months later we all left Algeria-. Things were bad enough for the Jews as it was. But Maurice didn't give up. He followed her to Paris. Finally they decided to send her to Israel because he couldn't go there. She went to the kibbutz where she met your father. And they never saw each other again? - I don't know. - When she came to visit. She came to rest and see me, that's all I know. And this Maurice, where is he? Did you know all this? Not until two hours ago. So why did you come here? To ask you to come home. Now that I've heard things that your mother never told me I'm begging you, come home. Live your lives. Honor your mother, she didn't want us to know. - Are you going home? - What do you care? Rosa, will you see me out? Regards to Ricky. I say we go home. You can go. I'm not leaving until we find this Maurice guy. You believe that old drunk's bullshit? One thing doesn't make sense, Aunt Rosa. You said you all moved to Paris, but Mom said your parents died back in Algeria. Papa died 12 years ago and Mama died two months later-. 12 years? We had grandparents until 12 years ago? Why didn't we meet them? Your mom shunned them until they died. She didn't speak to them, only to me. Aunt Rosa, where's Maurice? Please tell us. Do you know who Isabelle Moretti is? - The actress? - Yes. Talk to her. - What does she have to do with Maurice? - She knew him. Look her up and talk to her. This isn't Hollywood, she's just an actress-. Now leave me alone. Who are you talking about? Why should we talk to Moretti? Why can't you tell us? - I don't want to, okay? - Why not? Who are they talking about? About Madame Isabelle Moretti, no more and no less. - What's your problem? - Nothing. We start with Romeo and Juliet and end up with Isabelle Moretti. Suddenly Mom jumps out of windows, has abortions, she's a Communist. I don't know who you're talking about but it sure isn't my mother. And to top it off you invent grandparents. Great. You don't believe me. You've always envied her... Come with me. There you are, your grandparents. You're right, I did envy your mother. Too bad you didn't learn anything from her. Nothing but poison comes out of your mouth. Watch out or you'll end up like me. Okay, what do you want to know about Madame Isabelle Moretti? Is there a slideshow? Okay. "Isabelle Moretti, actress and producer, born 1946. "Her big break came..." blah blah blah... "But first she took part in some underground productions "including the film 'The Desert of Tears'," and in parentheses: "The film was never completed-Director: Maurice L." And there's only one Maurice on earth, right? Let's see? What does the "L" stand for? Maybe he's Jewish. Maybe his name is Maurice Levi. - Maybe his name is Lobangulu. - Loban-what? Lobangulu, king of the Zulu, from Honolulu-. - What's with you? - Nothing. Just because Dad came all the way from Israel doesn't mean I believe that Morn had an affair with Muhammad Ali. No Maurice, no Boris, it's all bull. Are Mom's lies about Grandma and Grandpa bull, too? You're just afraid to find him. Okay, enough. Anyway, I left a message for Isabelle Moretti. We'll see if she calls back. I don't want to hear it. Shame on you! - Is this what you ordered, sir? - Yes. Thank you. I'm not staying with you. I'm finishing my apple and going home. Mom wanted to protect us, that's why she hid it. She was a wise woman, she realized our lives would be a nightmare if her secret came out. - What, that he's an Arab? - Exactly. You can play innocent and call me a racist and pretend you're from Mars, not from Jerusalem. And that you don't care it he's an Arab, - but it means something to me. - Me, too. But I want to see who he is. You don't have to be here. You only get in the way. - Shai, you're going too far. - You're right. I found what I'm looking for. I don't need this. - Are you implying something? - No, I'm saying it. How long can you blame Dad for your screwed-up life? And we're following you like idiots. Leave me alone, Shai- Go find your answers somewhere else-. Right, maybe I'll find God and eat apples. Maybe you should. - Is that your idea or did Haziya write it for you? - Watch your mouth. Don't you talk about Haziya. At least use a decent knife. What's wrong with you? Unbelievable. It's Isabelle Moretti. So answer already. Remember, only Ricky talks. She gave us exactly 15 minutes. - Hello. - Hello. Come in, you can leave the gate open. Are you the one I spoke to? - Are you Jonah's son? - No, I'm her daughter Dorona's husband. - Pleased to meet you. - Pleased to meet you. - And these are her sons, Natanel... - Pleased to meet you. Pardon me, I'm religious. - And Shai. - Pleased to meet you. At first I thought you were an Israeli producer, that's why I said I don't make movies there. I don't like the Mideast any more. Your smile looks like Jonah's. - Did you know her? - No, but Maurice showed me a photo once-. How is she? She died three weeks ago. I'm so sorry. I thought her children wanted to bring her and Maurice together but I guess that only happens in movies. Come. - Leon, Maurice Leon. - Leon? - Leon, Maurice Leon. - Leon? But he made up the name. I don't know what it was before. Some people called him Moussa and that annoyed him. You met him on the set? No, I met him at a little Algerian restaurant. Maurice studied at the Sorbonne and at night he made couscous. Strange guy, anarchist, atheist, and an excellent cook. We became friends and one day he told me his story. I don't know how we suddenly found ourselves working on a script. A sad love story. Like Romeo and Juliet, but in Algeria. Why didn't you finish the movie? It was a mistake to begin with. It was my idea that he direct it. I financed it, I recruited all our friends from the Sorbonne. You realize I was a little in love with him. I was young and he had a poetic soul. I thought if we made the film he'd love me as he loved your mother. That's the story. We barely managed to film two scenes-. Maurice became depressed, he didn't show up and everything stopped. Want to see? - See the film? - No, there's nothing left of it. But I have a few photos. Come. This is all that remains. Pictures, moments. If I'd known that 40 years later I'd meet the children of the woman I portrayed... Do you know where he is? Maurice? Why? Do you want to tell him that Jonah's dead? It'd kill him. If he's still alive he's probably in Marseille. The last time I saw him was in Marseille years ago. In a restaurant, of course. I actually remember the restaurant. "Beirut". Lebanese food, nice restaurant. But that was long ago. Do you have a picture of him? No, I threw it away. Or tore it up. You know how a broken heart is. You do all sorts of things that you regret later-. Be a little like me. How? I don't even know who you are. Just tell Ricky the truth. Get rid of the cigarette, there's no smoking here-. You talk to me about truth... Now you're a movie star. Te-bell Hi-bick-i-by the-be tru-buth. (Tell Ricky the Truth) And what about me? And what about me? And what about me? And what about me? And what about me? And what about me? And what about me? - And what about me? - And what about me? - And what about me? - And me as well, and me as well... The taxi's coming in 15 minutes. Where's Ricky? - He's meeting us in Marseille. - Why? He wanted to leave before us. Okay, Marseille. Second-biggest city in France, on the coast of the Mediterranean. Population: About a million and a half, among them 80,000 Jews. Not bad. - And about 300,000 Arabs. - We're going to Gaza... - Hey, Zinedine Zidane grew up in Marseille. - Who's that? What's that? "L decided to stay. Waiting for you at Rosa's till you calm down. Dad" Him and his manipulations. What a pest. There's Ricky. - Beirut is gone. - What? - Beirut, the restaurant? - Yeah? New owners. It's called "Yizar" - and it's a karaoke club. - Did you ask if Maurice works there? Not yet, but it's an Arab club, so Natanel, forget your disposable forks - and take off your skullcap. - Are you crazy? - Or wait in the hotel. - It's my right to wear it. - What's that got to do with it? - Don't shout. - I'm not shouting. - Yes, you are. Fine, I'm shouting. Happy? I know this music. Isn't this...? What is this place? Judging by the food, it's still a Lebanese restaurant-. Judging by the hairdos it's Yemenite. Israelis? - They're onto us. - Should I take it off? - You're paranoid. - So why are you whispering? Tel Aviv? Are you from Tel Aviv? - Jerusalem. - Why didn't you say so? Menashe! All Israelis are our guests. We'll treat you like kings. I'll get you drinks and we'll have a toast. What's going on here? - Hey, isn't this song... - "Abanibi". Right, by Yizhar Cohen. I-bi lo-bove (I love you) I-bi lo-bove you-bou... - Don't you get it? - What? The restaurant's called Yizar, Yizhar Cohen. There's a restaurant named after Yizhar Cohen? That explains the hair. It isn't a restaurant, it's a fan club. For Yizhar Cohen? Why? Do you speak French? You look surprised. Haven't you heard of us? - No. - You see? God knows where he sends us. On April 22, 1978, our king, Yizhar Cohen, won Eurovision. 157 points. 34 years ago in three weeks. Israel is our mother and Yizhar is our king. Cheers. I'll serve you myself. Eat hearty. It's all kosher. - April 22, 1978. - What? That's Shai's birthday. Why did we come here of all places and they're playing Mom's favorite song? - She's sending us signs. - Yeah, in "B" Language Love is good to me. It'll always overcome and we'll speak the language of love...... - Come dance. - No, no. - Yes, come on. - Go. - Go dance. - Come on. Come on, it's Mom's dance. Come on! I dream and awake, three words What is the world? Three words And that's how I feel now Just like then, in "B" Language"... Right! He knew Yizhar's songs by heart though he didn't understand a word. He was a cook here back in the "Beirut" days, before we bought the place. Strange 911V, but the best chef I ever met. Then why did you fire him? I had no choice. You see? We were attacked two years ago. They broke the windows and nearly burned the place down. - Who did? - North Africans. They wanted revenge because one of us broke the arms of some Arab kid who swore at him. And Maurice was involved? No, no. But people started asking questions. They want everything to be kosher. A lot of Jews come here. So Maurice isn't Jewish? I don't know. I said to him, "What do you care? "I'm not asking you to pray on Yom Kippur, "just say you're Jewish even if you aren't." But he refused. Next year in Jerusalem. Bye. Where is he now? He lives in the Le Panier district. Don't ask me where, he didn't say-. But there's a woman he took care of, maybe his mother or sister-. We sent food there sometimes. I can give you the address. - Are you sure this is the address? - I'm positive. Now what? There's no mother and no grandmother! This is Le Panier, right? You want to wander around aimlessly? - Why not? - We don't even have an address. So what do you suggest? - Why don't you check the phone book? - We did, when you were asleep. Then look again. I'm going to look around. And ask people if they're Maurice Leon? - Knock on their doors? - Yeah, okay? Why didn't Mom tell us anything? Get down from there, it's dangerous. What? Maybe there. Let Ricky talk, and you take a good look. Yes? Excuse me, are you Mr. Maurice Leon? Yes. Sorry to disturb you, we need your help. - With what? - We're looking for... Give me the photo. Do you know this woman? No, I don't know her. Sorry. - Why are you looking for her? - We aren't looking for her. She died three weeks ago. Are you sure you don't recognize her? No, I'm sorry. I can't help you. You'll excuse me. I don't think I've ever seen him. Are you sure? Did you see how he reacted to the photo? - How? - He trembled. Didn't he tremble? - What are you doing? - Knocking. - What for? I told you I can't help you. What do you want now? - Sorry, we just wanted to ask... - I don't know her. We wanted to ask if you once made a film, a movie with Isabelle Moretti. I didn't make anything. And now I'll ask you not to disturb me. If Mom were alive I'd strangle her. Are you sure his face... - I've never seen him. - He has an Arab accent. - Cut it out. - Why are you pushing? I'm fed up! Mom had an Arab accent, too. She came from Algeria, not some kibbutz in Sweden. So what? So she's an Arab and he's an Arab and so are you. - Are you cursing me? - Yes. And I'm an Arab and he's an Arab and we're all Arabs, okay? Now lay off. Get down, he's coming out. - We lost him, damn it. - Where are we? - Where to? - I don't know. Sir? Sir? I'm calling an ambulance. I'm starving. Where are your sandwiches when we need them? Maybe that's the doctor. About time. It's not the doctor. Please don't make a scene. Where's the restroom? Yes, I called him. When? Why? Because. Want something to eat? The cafeteria's closed. He's sleeping. It went well, but took a long time. We will wake him up soon, to see he's all right. Good thing he came in, it was almost too late. There's a problem with his papers. - If you don't mind... - I'll take care of it. We almost killed him, and for what? My battery's run out. I need to make a call. I need to talk to Raziya. This whole costume is for her sake. All because I love her. What's the sense in hiding all this from her? You know what she calls Him? Daddy. She calls God "Daddy" and me she calls "Honey". Do you need help? No. What's your name? Dorona. - And your brothers? - Natanel, and the little one is Shai. - There's another one. - Ricky, my husband. Ricky. - Is he Italian? - No, it's just a nickname. I gave it to him a longtime ago. Any kids? You're still young. What are you looking for? Our father. And who is that? What did you want from me? Are you Algerian? - Not any more. - Jewish? No. Muslim? Christian? Why is it so important? Because we need to know why they separated you from our mother. I don't know what you're talking about. Dorona, what do you want from me? This is your mother and this is you. Very beautiful woman, your mother. She's obviously very brave. How did she die? An operation. Are you angry with her, Dorona? Don't be angry with her. Don't cry my love. I'm going back soon. I moved my flight up. Why did you come? What happened all of a sudden? I'm scared. I'm afraid of losing you, too. But you're doing all you can to lose me. Doborobon. I was waiting for you. - They released me. - Isn't it too soon? Yes, but I insisted. Goodbye, Donna. - What did you find? - Nothing. Did you speak to him? What did he say? Nothing. I just remembered how you once told me, "Doborobon, it's a shame that your life is like water. "Clear, tasteless and odorless. Change a little. Surprise yourself." But I never believed in that. People never really change, Mom. They just start lying to themselves. You can go now, Morn. I promise I won't bother you any more. I just wish you could come here for a moment and explain to us why you did all this. Well, now I'm in your house. I have a lot of spare time so I'm pondering. I'll probably understand something in the end. Previously, on "Satisfaction"... - Who's in the conference room? - SEC. We're shut down. Somebody went out of their way to bring on some real hurt. You made any enemies lately? Adriana called them in. Revenge for when you and I... Help yourself to the files. You won't find anything. I've been cooking the books for years. - I never saw that. - I was good at it. You want to burn down my house? I'm going to burn down yours. A standard in-house Bastion contract. It specifies a large amount of cash that you've been funneling into investments. Cash obtained illegally. You forged my signature. Where do you think I learned that little trick? Work with me. Partners. Now, what do you really want? You want me? You want Grace? I want you both. Suddenly single. Starting over, I guess. Is that what we're doing? I'm not gonna see you for a while. We're going to Argentina. Simon, what's wrong? He's not sick. This is all bullshit, okay? The will, adding me to the company. He's been lying to both of us this entire time. Who is that? I don't want to sell this house. Me neither. Wait, stop. - What is it? - Mm. Oh. I just thought we were good. You're right. It's too soon. Sorry. You should be. For thinking I want some lame missionary position. There's just something about bedroom sex that's... so predictable, you know? So... so "old married couple." I'm just a girl who's more into... surprises. You're right. Beds are for sleeping. We were married? I had no idea. Oh. Oh, don't stop. Don't stop. Don't move. Shit. Who is it? Hope this isn't a bad time. The phone, Adriana. You need something, call. But then I wouldn't get to see your beautiful face. We have a problem. The Ibani hotel? They just cancelled our party. And Jimmy Valenti changed his mind. Nothing's been signed. There's really no recourse. A hundred guests have confirmed and we have no place to put them. I understand you're a bachelor, Neil, but for God's sake don't let the place go to seed. So I've been scrambling to find a backup location. You must have connections. Somewhere discreet. I'll see what I can do. There's another matter we need to discuss. This is my biggest party of the year. We're all going to have to multitask. Darling, it's just business. Is that what you call it? 'Cause to me it looks like blackmail. Look, Mommy and Daddy are playing house again. The dining room table? Bravo. Is this gonna take long? We were kind of in the middle of something. I just want a few minutes with your husband, Grace. Like so many women do. Coffee? Mmm. Love some. She's never gonna stop. Ever. Today it's the SEC shutting down Bastion. Tomorrow it'll be something else. It's just... it's never gonna end until we stop her. Look, Bastion employs 130 people. I can't endanger their livelihoods if I can fix this in one night. Right. You're right. If she wants you to help her organize and find a location, that's a small price to pay. When's the last time we did it in front of the mirror? Grace... she didn't just come over to talk about the location. Her name is Audrey. She's going to be my date. She's beautiful. I'm sure you'll show her a good time. You gonna jump? Oh! You know, with my luck, I'd end up surviving the fall and end up eating my food through a straw the rest of my life. You sure you should be smoking? You just got out of the hospital. Are you freaking kidding me? A heart attack would be fantastic right about now. Can I turn this off? Look, everything's going to be fine, Victor. I just need you to show me every illegal transaction that you've made. I promise you, it will only stay between us. Are you wearing a wire? Huh? What the hell is the matter with you? You're with them, aren't you? The SEC. They got you to cooperate. Victor, I'm here to help. All right? I would never betray you like that. You're right. You're right, I'm sorry. I... I'm losing my mind. It's all right. We're partners. We figure this out together. You know what you are? You're a nurturer. Me... I couldn't even keep my own little dog alive. Little shit. All he needed was some food, a place to take a dump, pee. Me? I just take, take, take. So I have to take this. Just... Don't start crying. Okay? And don't kill yourself. - Hey. - Have you met her yet? - Who? - Audrey. Your date. Do you usually meet them first? Grace, if you want me to call this off... No. I'm just curious. Sometimes I meet them, sometimes I don't. Just seems so strange. Agreeing to have sex with someone you haven't even met. Grace, what's going on? Where are you? Uh, at a hair salon. In fact, I-I have to go. Bye. - It's Neil, right? - Yes, Neil. Oh, he is gorgeous. Strong chin, warm eyes. Whew. I can almost taste him. Adriana never sent anyone to meet me before. Why now? Oh, it's just something we do for our most valued clients to ensure you have the most enjoyable experience. I'm flattered. So give me a sense of what you're looking for, and how you envision your night with Neil. Do you mean like the perfect date? Sure. Let's start there. I want to fall in love. It's not just about the sex. It's about the before. And the after. Lying there in messy sheets, drinking him in while he tells charming stories. Running fingers through his hair as he soaks in a steaming hot bath. You know. Yes. I think I do. This one, Adriana says is one of her best. So I hear. Neil. I think I'm in love already. Gah! That would have been a clean 50 from the both of you. Excuse me. Which one of you is Dr. William Blunt? I am. Is there a problem? I'm afraid there is. I need to talk to you about my father. Arthur Waverly. You might have noticed we're playing a round of golf here. You have a question, call my office. I'm sure... That's not how this is gonna work. We're gonna talk about my father. We're gonna do it right now. Hey, buddy. This isn't the time. Maybe you should tell your friends to take a walk. It's okay, guys. Just give us a minute. I'll see you at the clubhouse. Look, I don't know what you think that I could tell you, but... How sick is my father? He has stage four. It doesn't look good. That's one. One what? I understand that you sent him to Argentina. I'd like to know why. I can't discuss private medical records. That's two. Ha! That's all from mini-golf right there. No lessons. Can you believe it? I don't know what you think you're doing here, but... I was just starting to count the number of your fingers I'm gonna break. Get it? You know what? I'm not too good at math, so I might lose count here. Wait. Ah! He paid me. A lot of money. - For what? - To make up test results, phony prescriptions, medical bills. - Why? - I don't know. You know who your father is. I didn't ask questions. I did it as I was told to do. He came to me with a lot of cash. He said he needed a terminal illness, so I gave him one. Ah! Jesus, Victor. We need to get something straight about this partnership. I'm in charge here. - You work for me. - Okay. Every decision about this party has been made for a reason, so before you go unwinding my hard work, - you might want to get... - What the hell are you - talking about? - Your date, Audrey? She got a visit from your wife. Grace cancelled her. Grace did? You had no idea? Do you know how this impacts my business? Audrey Richardson? She's one of my most important clients. Well, if Grace thought it was a bad idea, then I'm fine with that. I'll find Audrey someone else. Rein in your wife. I don't put my wife in her "place." This isn't the '50s. Remember what's at stake here. Look around, Adriana. We are shut down. The SEC is up our ass. I am well aware of what's at stake. Wait. This is it. Here. The location. It's perfect. Your office? Not my office. A 1950s office. A throwback to old traditions, gender roles, where a man could "rein in his wife." With all the sexual role-play that implies. I like it. I like it a lot. That was inspired, Neil. And a bit risky. Well, the only way to get what you want is to risk what you have. That's a belief you and I share. And what is it that you want? I'll find Audrey another date. You want Grace involved in this, fine. But I can't have her working against us. Why were you even there? I wanted to meet the person who was planning on screwing my husband, and I'm glad I did because that woman wanted to have your baby. They're all looking for a connection. That's why they're seeing an escort. You of all people should know that. Don't make this about me and Simon. You know I have to have a date. Then I want to be there. And I want a date, too. I tell you what. If it'll make you more comfortable, you choose my date, and I'll choose someone for you. This is insane. Maybe. Probably. We don't have to do this. You just say the word, I'll call the whole thing off. No, I-I don't know where we're going, but... We can't go back to what we were. So... tell me... what are you looking for in a escort? - Thanks for coming. - This better be important. I've left you three messages over the last couple of days. Your date for the party. She's fun. She's friendly. A little too friendly for me, apparently. Uh, never mind. Her name is Audrey. All right. Audrey. Got it. - You good? - I need a favor. My father isn't sick. He's been faking his illness. Why would he do that? That's what I want to find out. Why not just ask him? He left the country. With Emma. Look, there must be someone else that knows about this. His... his bodyguard, Donnie, I've left him messages. So far, nothing. I'll see what I can do. All right. Hang in there. How often do you see an escort? Once a month or so. I just started doing this. Uh, I got a raise at work. The dating pool is depressing. It's full of boys in skinny jeans and baseball caps. It's hard to find, like, men. Women are like wild horses. You stroke 'em, put 'em at ease. Whisper in their ear. In my experience, the more high society they are, the more they like to be manhandled. I get to have no-strings-attached sex with someone who's not my husband. That is the fantasy. What's the ideal client for you? Rich women. They tip well. Half the men I meet mistake me for a bank. And the other half are either just plain boring or collecting social security. So, it's about companionship for you? No, dear. It's about the sex. I take my job seriously. I brighten a lot of lives, and that takes care, focus. I want every woman I'm with to feel... seen. Feel special. His name is Jeremy. He was the only normal guy. Marriage is a sacred union. And your sex life is an expression of that bond. But when lovemaking gets routine, how can you spice things up? It's research. An open marriage can be a safe, fun way to bring excitement back into the bedroom. And we can help. I hired them for the party. They work as a husband and wife team? Yeah. That's crazy, right? I don't know. A lot of it does make sense, doesn't it? I mean, when you meet them, they seem like a really happy couple. Is this what we should be? Polyamorous? An open marriage? Is that what we're doing? Grace, at this point, I don't have an answer to that question. How does it even work? Would we always pick each other's partners? Well, it's our marriage. It'd be whatever we decide. And on that note, His name is Jeremy. He seems like a decent guy. And his only wish is to satisfy your every sexual desire. You're really okay with this? Me sleeping with someone, and you knowing about it? Better than not knowing. I think. This is Denise. 44, software consultant. Most important, not looking to fall in love. She just wants sex. You can do that, right? All the equipment's in working order. I feel a bit like we're stepping off a cliff. Here's hoping there's a trampoline at the bottom. Donnie? Simon. Look, avoiding my calls isn't going to work. I need to talk to you about my father. Don't make me hunt you down. Oh. Hi. Sorry. I-I was just about to knock. No. It's all right. It's fine. Come on, come in. Um, I got your tea if you want me to make you some. Sure. Yeah, that'd be nice. Of all the dozens of women you've been with, you must have fallen in love plenty of times. Right? What's this really about? Neil. His, um, his other job... We're working on being more open, but this little voice inside my head isn't so sure. So if I fell in love with you, Neil could fall in love with one of his dates, too. Grace, you were the only one. Come on, I'm serious. You don't do what I do and catch feelings. It's the ultimate transgression. You were it. So you just sleep with all these women and you never feel anything intimate? In passing. It's that way with a lot of people. Clients and escorts. That's the fantasy. That's... that's why this business is booming. When I met you, I was hungry for something more, emotionally. But you were never going to leave Neil. It took me a while to figure that out, but... Neil's gonna be seeing someone tonight. Someone I selected. But I don't want to be the wife who sets rules and tells him what he can and can't do. If you're worried about Neil falling in love with someone the way I fell in love with you, that's like worrying about being struck by lightning. Hey. I know what he has. You don't have to worry. Okay? Got everything? Any sign of technology will throw off our theme. Yes, I figured that out when I tried to make a phone call. Details are important. Well, it's where the devil lies... in the details. - So, we done here? - Not quite. I believe you owe me a document. The Bastion contract with my forged signature. Not just yet. You do like to play hardball. You'll get your contract as soon as the party's over, Bastion is in the clear, and we go our separate ways. Oh, are we breaking up? If I'd have known, I would have insisted on being your date tonight. Break up sex is the best kind. Not for business partners. Is that all I am to you, Neil? After all this time? Yes. - Honey? - In here. You look... Wow. Here, let me help you with that. I'm a little nervous. Jeremy should be here any minute. Jeremy won't be coming. I cancelled him. Neil, it's just a night out, and we need to try new things. Yes, but you deserve a better escort than Jeremy. You deserve the very best. You were right. We need to start over. Like we're meeting for the very first time. Get out. Sorry? I said get out. If this is a date, then you shouldn't be in my bedroom when I'm getting dressed. Oh, hello. You must be Grace. - And you must be? - Neil. Neil Truman. You're a little early, Neil Truman. Come on in. Thank you. You have a beautiful home. Thank you. My husband and I bought it a long time ago. You're married? Does that shock you? That a married woman would want to have sex with a stranger? Oh, I'm not here to judge. Only to give you a night of pleasure that you'll never forget. Well, we better get started then. Ahem. Typically I receive the envelope before we begin the evening. - The envelope? - The fee. For companionship. Right. This is all I have. Hopefully that's enough. We can stop by a cash machine. So this is what a day at the office is like, huh? Just another typical Tuesday. Neil... and Grace. Is it date night tonight? How adorable you both look. - I'm impressed. - That's because it's authentic. Everything in the spirit of the time period. Except tonight, the women are in charge. Explore. Make new friends. Enjoy. - Drink? - Absolutely. Two vodka martinis. Up. Olives. - Have we met? - No. You look so familiar. Yes. So do you. - Grace. - Oh, Audrey. Oh, now I get it. You cancelled me so that you could do him yourself. Well, can you blame me? No worries. I am more than happy with the way things worked out. Hey, guys. Enjoy the party. Oh, my favorite married couple. - Rosalie. - Come on. I'll show you around. Why not? Think of this party like a 1950s housewife... Proper and reserved on the outside... naughty behind closed doors. Each room has a different office-related theme for play. We call this the afternoon delight room. Everything in here is about your middle of the workday fantasy. That's one way to get ahead. Give that man a raise. Adriana would like to speak to you for a moment. In your office. Don't be long. I paid for your ass tonight, and I expect to have it to myself. Yes, ma'am. This is a great location for a party. Promise you'll let me come back. If this small talk is just a ploy to seduce me, I'm not interested. I just got a call from Agent Garcia about your case. Good news: the investigation will be closed on Monday... Thank God. When they arrest Victor on fraud and money laundering charges. They found out? They already knew, Neil. They just needed a name to pin it on. I certainly didn't plan any of this knowing your boss was a crook. Serendipity, I guess. A man is going to prison and you think that's serendipitous. Well, you could've gone down, too. When I found that out, I convinced Garcia to focus on the big fish. Victor's already been informed of the indictment. Darling, it's over. - Victor's my friend. - Oh, please. You know he would've thrown you under the bus the first opportunity he got. Just like someone else I know. You were second in command, now Victor's gone. This whole firm falls under your control. I didn't betray you. I saved you. We are we watching? A little role-play game. Each of these young account executives presents something to the boss. Boss likes it, Boss gives them permission to use it. I think this will go better with a drink. Be a doll and get us some champagne please. Oh, I recognize you from, um, your... your ad. - Oh, right. The video. - Mm-hmm. Yeah, you... you and your husband do the whole, uh, open marriage thing. Professionally and personally. It's saved our marriage. How do you mean? Well, we were both stepping out, carrying on little emotional and physical affairs, keeping secrets. It got so bad we weren't just lying about sleeping with other people, we were just lying about anything. I mean, why am I lying to my husband about whether or not I put gas in the car? It was stupid. And we each thought the truth would destroy the other person. Funny how that happens. But we all want to have sex with someone new. It's risky, it's exciting, and that's okay. But divorce over that? I would never leave my husband for a better orgasm. Thank you, honey. Do we have to do it in here? There's a private office downstairs, I think. Mmm. Oh, God. Hold that thought. Hang on. _ Is everything okay? Let me get you another drink, okay? There's no need to rush. We're here to take our time. You want me to wait? You know what happens to those that wait. Good things. They come. Oh, God. Oh, excuse me. Neil, there you are. What's wrong? Adriana's done a very bad thing. I don't know if I can fix it. What the hell? - Oh, no. - Oh, I get it. You're celebrating already, huh? You ungrateful pieces of shit! - He's okay. He's okay. - Unbelievable. - What are you doing here? - You're bloodsuckers. All of you. I hope your 401ks go straight to hell. Victor. Whoa, whoa. Hey. Come here, come here. Calm down. You're making a scene. These aren't your employees. - Oh, wow. You're right. - Come on. Why did you do this to me, Truman? Why did you do it? You think I don't see what's going on? I go to jail, and who benefits? You. You prick. I thought we were friends, Neil. Donnie, what the hell, man? I'm here. Where are you? Get your ass over here. _ You have reached the voicemail box of... Shit. All right, all right. Is this one of those memory foam beds? I've heard great things. I hope you don't mind. We were waiting, so I had to take a little cat nap. I'm not a young man anymore. Who are you? How did you get in my apartment? I had some empathy for your father and his illness. A man in his position shouldn't have to worry about owing his associate $50 million. I was willing to work with him, but then he was gone, in the wind, an apparition. So I started to think... his sudden lack of presence was so that he wouldn't have to pay Omar Sandahl. That's me. You killed Donnie. Do you know where your father is? No. Hmm. Then it's a good thing... I know where you are. Because if he disappears... you inherit his debt. I'll get my money. Finally. Anika. "Sorry, been busy. All good. Talk soon." Hmm. Well... There are some advantages to having the place still to ourselves. Neil, tonight, Victor... I'm sorry. It's not over yet. I'm exhausted. Oh, thank God. Me, too. Hey, we never stopped at the cash machine. That's right. I still owe you a lot of money. Well, maybe you'll find some other way to pay me. I'll see what I can come up with. Whew. I like these parties, but they are a lot of work. May I help you? Hi. I'm sorry to show up like this. - You're Adriana, right? - Yes. I'm Anika Truman, Grace Truman's daughter. Yes, of course. I thought you looked familiar. I know she did some work for you a while ago, and she showed me the drawings of your house, and I'm just passing through town, uh... Of course. Would you like to come inside? Maybe you'd like a cup of tea. - I'd love some tea. - All right. I, Asseylum Vers Allusia, will take Count Slaine Saazbaum Troyard as my husband, and proclaim that I shall create a new kingdom here in Earthspace. At this time, in spite of the best efforts of you daring and resolute knights, this war is giving every indication that it will become protracted. With matters having come to this, what should our course of action be? Is this a time for Orbital Knights to squabble among themselves? Is it a time to squabble over credit? The time has come for us to gather under one flag and fight together for the future of Vers. I have delegated all of my authority to the lord of this newly repowered castle, as well as my soon-to-be spouse, Count Troyard. This includes the right to decide upon whom to bestow the power to awaken Aldnoah. Until the day comes when we achieve victory in this war, it is my heartfelt wish that you think of Count Troyard's words as my own and rally to his side. All that we do, we do for Vers! The battle against Earth continues to prove difficult, I see. Yes, Milord. But to those knights who are anxious regarding this situation, Her Highness's words must have sounded like a divine revelation. Divine revelation? Everyone knows that she was only able to issue that proclamation because of you. To the knights who are unhappy about the present state of affairs, they were words from on high. Surely they must feel that someone has appeared who will lead them. You exaggerate. But on the other hand, rebel factions are also certain to appear. There is something that I wish you to do on that score. Make a display of power? Is that it, Milord? No, if we engage with such people, we will never see the end of it. Start by rooting out the dangerous elements. We can let the proper authorities take it from there. Milord? Princess Asseylum's name will be motivation enough. And it should be simple enough to strip them of their knighthood with some random accusation or other. You do not approve? You think it too underhanded? No, Milord. Quite the opposite. It is only natural that you would stop at nothing to achieve your goal. Ever since the announcement, I... If I may be so bold, you have seemed prepared for the worst. My wish was to be close to Her Highness. My wish was to be worthy of her. And to be of some service to her... But I... If power is the only thing that I can win now, then that is... Is that you, Harklight? Enter. M-Milord Slaine... Miss Eddelrittuo? We are quite satisfied with your ship's current actions. For the time being, we want you to continue providing unit support as a commando squad. I have no objections to that. But about that proclamation by Princess Asseylum... That nonsense about founding a new dynasty in Earthspace? It's nothing but big talk meant to stir up the Mars Knights. Something along those lines. That might be the case. But perhaps we should consider the possibility that the enemy's attacks might be about to move to the next level. We're sitting on our thumbs, doing nothing? Is that what you are implying? No, sir. I meant nothing of the sort. As far as new operations go, we are currently coordinating with our primary units. Once that has been finalized, you will be contacted. You might be unhappy with your status as a commando unit, but there is no telling how much faith we can put in a ship that runs on the enemy's power. Not to put too fine a point on it, but that's just how it is. I'm amazed that you sat through that without any outbursts. Did you want me to? Remember, I'm only here as your escort. Anyway, I'm not that naive. They just don't understand. They probably just don't know what they've got. They're doing the best they can. No. I'm not griping about how they're treating the Deucalion. I've just... given up on them. On us? On the Martians. The war's going in their favor a little bit, and they're wildly misinterpreting it. That's terrifying. I will drain the therapeutic fluid and bring Princess Asselyum to my castle. Tell no one of this. Not even Princess Lemrina, of course. - But why not-. - Do as I say! Forgive me. I did not mean to startle you. No visitors are allowed? My sister's condition is that serious? She... Perhaps it was a miracle that she held on for this long. How much time does she have? Today? Tomorrow? They say that they still do not know. It is just as possible that she will remain in this condition indefinitely. I see... I can guess what you are feeling. You may have mixed feelings, but she is your only sibling by blood. It is you who are truly sad, aren't you, Slaine? I must go. Slaine... I forgive you, Slaine. Even if you cry in front of me today. Even if you shed tears over her. Because I... am already yours. Could that have triggered it? No... It couldn't be. I always looked up to you. You had everything that I did not. So I hated you. Still, do not worry, sister. From now on, I will be truly be your substitute and I will be Slaine's support! Why...? What's up with that? Does that mean she got ditched here? "The captain left me in charge because she trusts me." That's what she said, but Cdr. Mizusaki has got to be devastated. Why did she pick Lt. Marito of all people as her traveling companion? Companion? Escort, more like. What's this about Lt. Marito? No, um... It's just that he accompanied the captain to the conference, so I thought it might be serious. Ah. With that Martian proclamation and all, the situation is definitely changing. I can't believe that the princess is getting married... That's what you're interested in? No, but look... Isn't it possible that her change of heart was because someone around her felt that way? Like, she was seduced by him or something? Sorry. But we're still not 100% sure that the Princess Asseylum who said that was the princess who spent time with us, right? I honestly can't say. Inaho insists that she is an imposter, but there's no telling just how much he can see. Have you eaten? In a bit. Let me find a good place to leave off. You've been this way since we were little. When you're into something, everything else fades away. Here. Thanks, Yuki. You've heard, right? About Asseylum's, uh... Yeah. That proclamation seemed to prove everything you've been saying. It all seems a little too convenient, and if that really were the genuine Princess Asseylum, would she think of a founding a kingdom in Earthspace? Slaine Troyard. That douchebag who shot my dear little brother? Thanks. But watch your language, Yuki. It doesn't matter if she's real or not anymore. I don't think anyone would bother to listen to her. Even if she tried to broker a peace between Earth and Mars again. About the attack on Earth, Milord, if there are no problems, I will get preparations underway. Milord Slaine? I'm listening. Proceed as planned. Yes, Milord. Her Highness has yet to-. She will wake up soon. I know it. I eagerly await that day, Milord. But... tragedies do happen. Milord? It's nothing. Has there been any change? No. They believe that she might remain in this condition for some time. We will wait as long as it takes. We are used to waiting. I bet that she will be surprised, waking up to find that everything has changed. Will I... Will I seem different to her as well? She will think that you have grown into a fine man, I'm sure of it. I shall return. Milord Slaine! Rittuo... Eddelrittuo... Milady... I... She... She is awake... Your Highness! It is me! It is Slaine! Do you recognize me? It's Slaine, Slaine Troyard! I am Slaine Troyard... Your Highness... Slaine... Slaine... Slaine... Slaine... Slaine... Slaine... Your Highness! I've been waiting so long to hear you say my name once again! Let me begin by saying that I am glad to see you safe, Count Mazuurek. My apologies for causing you to worry, Count Barouhcruz. So, what are your plans? I have none as yet. I have lost my Kataphraktos, as well. If you wish to ally yourself with Count Troyard, I can act as intermediary. I have heard what happened with Count Marylcian. It must have been most galling. No, both sides fought fairly, and that was the result. There is nothing to hold a grudge over. Count Barouhcruz, Troyard is dangerous. He not only killed Marylcian, there are even suspicions that he also killed Count Saazbaum-. It doesn't matter who it is. I merely... But you-. Hold your tongue. How could you let yourself be misled by such unfounded rumors? You heard Princess Asseylum's proclamation, I take it? No one can stop Count Troyard's rise. Not when he holds all the cards, even Aldnoah activation privileges. As they say, "Do not try to fight an Olympian sandstorm." If you wish to make a comeback, I suggest you choose wisely. Count Barouhcruz pledges his full and unconditional cooperation. Counts Sebring and Raffia have have yet to make their allegiances clear, but they appear to be amenable to acknowledging the new kingdom. Morale is also on the increase within the base. We have almost finished going through the list of knights who seem likely to oppose you. We are ready to take forceful steps at any time. Milord Slaine? Is something the matter? Begging your pardon, Milord, but is it about Princess Asseylum's recovery? You want me to give her time off? Eddelrittuo? Yes. If only a little while. I'm sure that Princess Asseylum's sudden turn came as a blow to her. Yes, I shouldn't wonder. And how are you taking it, Slaine? I've been worried. Thank you for your concern. You are the only person that I can count on now. I will make Vers mine. For Her Highness. Dales Platoon and Orlov Platoon currently marching towards enemy Landing Castle. Clydesdale and Mustang commando platoons, be on alert for the enemy Kataphraktos, and once it's spotted, go on the offensive immediately and destroy it. They're lovely. Yes, Lord Slaine had this garden made for you, Milady. Oh, he did? It looks just like Earth. It does. Are your memories of Earth returning? Birds... I was watching birds... with that boy. Inaho Kaizuka, Milady? Kaizuka...? Is something the matter? Er, no... Look, aren't those flowers lovely, too? This is Dales Platoon. Currently closing on enemy Landing Castle with Orlov Platoon. Clydesdale Platoon? Powerful explosive charges are attached to the arrowheads! Be careful! Bastard! Don't waste your ammunition! The enemy is cloaked and is fast! It seems to be using arrows, which is probably to... Right, muzzle flashes would make it easy to pinpoint its location. This must be to avoid that. Optical camouflage? Does invisibility technology even...? It must be based on... Anyway, it's ingenious. There's nothing on my thermograph, and it's not casting a shadow. But... It definitely exists. Yeah. You are giving this to me, Milord? Customize it however you like. I've already discussed the matters of your peerage title and activation factor with Princess Lemrina. Milord Slaine... The arrow has been loosed. There is no turning back now. Yes, Milord! Count Sebring. Count Raffia. Inform Count Orga. Tell him to swear fealty. Smoke grenades, loading complete. Ready here, too. Fire! He's right, it definitely exists. And if it exists... it will have an effect on air currents! Target located. Right! Open fire! - Lieutenant! - What is it? At our 3 o'clock! New enemy! New enemy closing in from dead ahead! They're attacking as a team? From overhead, too! Incoming! A Landing Castle... All units, brace for impact! Multiple Landing Castles... Multiple Kataphraktoi... Simultaneously! He's made his move! It's him! Right. It's too late for doubts now. There is no returning from this place I have come to. It was an uneventful morning... quiet. Instead of saving every episode of "the bachelor," why don't you just hit yourself on the head with a sledgehammer? ! Dad, turn down that song! ♪ no can do ♪ The kids had a Friday off of school, so we picked up Manny and went to our favorite pancake place... Relaxing. Mitchell, hi. What? ! Oh, have him tell Cam I'll pick him up for racquetball in an hour. I can't even hear him it's so loud. - Can everybody just shut up? ! - I hate it. Sorry about that. Anyway... Hello. Hello. Is this Phil dumpster? What do you want, Gil? Got to be kidding me. Hang on. I need you to send a gift to mom for her birthday from the both of us. No, I did it last year. I know, and I need you to do it again. Look, I've got a conference call at 1:20. Then Luke's tutor comes to the house, 2:45 sales meeting, and I still got to get Alex to Judo. And yet you somehow found time to bitch at me. Wow! You really can have it all. Ugh. Honestly, just get her a stupid gift card, you big baby! You're back in second place with your favorite view. Ugh. Why does everything with him have be so dramatic? Why are we stopping? Hey. Hey. Oh. Perfect. Okay, first you berate me on the phone, then you show up to my office and berate me in per... Oh, w-what is this? I don't care for this. We got in an accident. Oh, my God! We almost got in an accident. That seems like a really important distinction. There was this big truck, and it barreled through a stop sign, and it missed our car by inches. Oh, my God! And everyone's okay? - Yes, just very shaken up. - Aw. But, Mitchell, I am so sorry that I yelled at you before. It's fine. Look, I brought you the birthday card for mom, - and you can sign it. - Okay. Thank you. - "To our best friend." - Mm. That's a little sarcastic. It's her birthday. - I don't know. - No, I mean it. Mitchell, I almost died. I want our mom to have a great birthday. Oh, and we're doing this again. - Okay. - Oh, God. Yeah. Hi. I'll be there in a sec, yeah. Okay, my deposition got moved up. That's great. So I'll just have to move everything... you know what? - I'm gonna eat in the car and then... - No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Give it, give it! Do you know what I was doing right before I almost died? Exactly what you're doing. Humoring a relative? No, no, scheduling my life down to the last minute. I mean, look at this... "Call New York office... 4:17 P.M." Do you realize that everybody but us rounds up to the nearest five minutes? Today made me realize something, Mitchell. No, I don't want to be a 4:17 kind of person. - Do you? - Yes, I do. 'Cause that phone call needs to be done by 4:23 so that I am not a dead man by 4:41. Give me my phone. - Nope. Nope. No. - Give me... Claire. We're gonna do something together. Yes, take the rest of the day off. - I can't do that. - Yes, you can. I did! Yeah, 'cause you work for your father. - No, no, no, we need this, Mitchell. - Hey, come on, give me my... - We really need this. - Claire, I'm really swamped today, and I... Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease... Stop. Just go. Pleeeeease can we slow down? Ow! You're chafing my wrist. Don't pretend you're not loving this. Okay. All right. I think I just skated through some pee. C-can we go back now? - No! - God. No, because we are not appointment-making control freaks. We are having fun. You are. I'm just doing what you're making me do. Okay, okay, stop. No, no, no. No, no, no. Let's go back, let's go back, let's go back. Why? Why do we have to go back now? Why... oh, I get it. I get it. You're still scared to skate through the underpass. What do you mean, "still"? What do you mean, "scared"? What underpass? Mitchell, you were 11 years old, and mom made me take you with me when I was skating with my friend Sophie King, and you were terrified to go through the underpass 'cause it was dark, and you were sure it was filled with monsters, so we ditched you. I don't remember this at all. Yeah, I skated away and called you a big baby. Sophie threw a rock at me and you yelled, "you're so gay." I did do that. Oh, didn't I? We used to use that word a lot. You used to be able to call anything gay. Ugh. Do you ever miss that? - No. - No. That's hurtful. Yeah. I'm sorry, Mitchell. You were scared, and I should've held your hand through the tunnel, and I was... I was not a good big sister. I'm so sorry. Will you forgive me? - Yes, yes. - You do? - Yes! I forgive you. - I love you. - Love you, too. - Love you! - Okay, okay. - Okay. - Let's do this. - Yes, let's do this. - Come on. - What? What's happening? No, no, no, we're going... We're going through the tunnel. No. God, no. No, no, no. Oh, no, you got to get over this. - No! All right. Okay. - Just let yourself go. Just let it go. Just... you know? Yep. I'm good. Uh, yeah, you got to get past it. N-n-no. No, no! No! N-n-no! Claire, no! N-n-no! N-no! I felt bad when we got separated, but I knew that when he skated out the other side of that tunnel, an emotional scar would've been healed. Mitchell? ! Mitchell? No! N-no! N-n-no! N-no! Oh, my God! What happened? What happened? - It w... it was terrible! - Yes. - They took my wallet and my skates and my tie. - No. What... what homeless person needs a tie? Oh, my God. I am so sorry, Mitchell! Okay, um... Can you give me my phone? 'Cause I got to, you know, cancel my cards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God. I hope you have juice. That thing has been buzzing like crazy. - Oh, God! Okay. - Okay. My meeting's been pushed up. It's in 15 minutes. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Look at me. Look at me. - Huh? Yeah. - Hey, hey. This is a test, and we don't sweat the small stuff. - Just let it go. - Stop it! Stop it. I know you think you discovered the new you, but you are controlling even when you're trying to not be controlling. So j... give me your skates. What? Why? You've dragged me so far, we're closer to my office than we are to the car. Take 'em off! He just wasn't ready. But me? I had a message for the small stuff that used to rule my life. Hey, Phil. Honey, how you holding up? Good. So, I'm at the beach... Long story. Anyway, I was hoping you wouldn't mind waiting at the house for Luke's tutor. Actually, I would mind. I'd mind quite a bit. I'm kind of busy. Okay, great. Suck it, small stuff. Why are we stopping? For many, a near-miss with death is a wake-up call. But when a man misses his own near-miss, he truly sees what he's been missing. No more putting my dreams on hold. Five years ago, I made a bucket list. It was time to start crossing things off. Scariest moment of my life. Ohh. Oh, my gosh. I thought I lost you! But amazingly, something great came out of it. I found out how my sister truly feels about me. Girls, are you sure? Positive. We'll walk home. We almost died. Yeah. A-about what you said in the car... Please don't make fun of me right now. No, I would never. It was actually really honest. And I need to stop taking shots at your intelligence. You don't do it that often. Well, you miss a lot of it. Oh. There, I did it again. Did what? Uh, it doesn't matter. I always considered you to be this self-absorbed person, but you're more substantial than that, aren't you? Thank you. You know what? I'm blowing off Judo today. Let's hang out. What should we do? Makeovers. Okay. Great! We're gonna walk right past my waxing place. Say goodbye to that gal stache. Ow. Ow! If it were easy, everyone would be hot. Yep, you know, I-it's not just my feet. It's from when I walked into the stop sign because you wouldn't give me back my... Okay, fine. I'll give you back your man-goggles. Here. I just thought we might run into some cute boys on the way home, but it's probably best we didn't. That's a pretty angry lip you got there. - Really? - Uh-huh. Wow. Does everybody's get this red? Well, you had quite a bit of growth. I was gonna have that lady take a crack at your arms, but she had already sweat through her apron. Oh, my gosh! I already have 100 likes on my picture of my new nails. Um, FYI, I'm... I'm sort of in the background there, screaming mid-wax. 400 people liked this photo. I was not one of them. My art teacher made a pithy "blue period" comment, and my top prom prospect suddenly found a girlfriend in Canada. Do you think I could get my sneakers back? Ohh, I threw them away with the rest of your clothes when you were in the changing room. I thought about saving them for the housekeeper, but I couldn't remember if she had a son. Look, I've tried really hard to put up with a lot since... What's going on? Oh, I just had so much fun with you! We don't do this enough. I just wish there was something that you could teach me. Uh-huh. Wait, what about your Judo stuff? Uh you're not interested in that. No! No! I am! Come on! Karate-chop me or something! That is not... Okay. All right. Let's just do one simple move. Okay. Now, this won't wrinkle my top, will it? Ohh! Wow. That was actually fun! Show me one more time. Oh, no! Oh, my gosh. I thought I lost you again. Wait, wait, wait. Back up. Again? Oh, yeah, when we almost got killed, I thought I lost my phone. It was really scary. Mentos-pramp-climb, test number two. Lesson learned... when pressure builds to dangerous levels, it must be released. Is your lip getting better or your face getting redder? Just gonna pop into the family room. What the hell was that? ! Oh, I'm just getting started! Ohh! Why do you have to be such a silly... Haley, stop! Mom! Phil, honey. ♪ I can't go for that, no, no can do ♪ I was already on edge. The day before, I was with my mom at the park when some guy on a bike swiped her phone. He must have been a criminal mastermind. He struck the one second she wasn't taking pictures of Joe. The worst part is, I saw him grab it. I had a chance to do something and be a hero to my mom, but I froze. What would you have done, made him the subject of a satirical cartoon? Hey! Uh, they've taken down presidents. Now, can you just support me here? There are only so many moments a son has a chance to... - Blah, blah, blah, blah. - Very mature. Pick a fight then tune me out? - It's not bothering me. - Stop it! Dad, turn down that song! ♪ No can do ♪ You sure, Manny? Positive. I-I'll walk home. - We almost died. - Yeah. White. Yes, I'm sure. Why is it so hard for you to imagine that a criminal can be white when most of the... Ah, the bicycle. Yes, yes, it was white. I thought your phone got stolen? This is Joe's phone. This is why the terrorists hate us. The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos. Was that place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again? We were all almost killed by a truck. Ay! Idios mío! Are you okay, papi? This was all Phil's fault, wasn't it? He's always blaring that damn new wave music! No. He swerved to avoid it. Saved my life. But the game of life is rigged. Death always win. Okay, I know what you need right now... A trip to the ice-cream shop. He doesn't need ice cream. He needs to talk about what just happened to him. Well, I could go for some ice cream. I know how to fix my son. So, this is fixed. Go around. Normally, I'd be avoiding these cracks out of respect of your back, mom, but after today, it seems pointless. - That's it. Get in. - No, no. No, Jay, he's afraid! It's only gonna get worse. In. Trust me. Five minutes in here, he'll be happy as a clam. Aah! Mama! Calm down. This was a bad idea. Hop out. Good for you, Jay. It has to be when he is ready. - Nope. He's driving. - What? - What? I-I can't. - You're doing it now. Jesús, take the wheel. He's terrified to be in the back. Now you're gonna put him in the front seat so that he can kill all of us? ! Can you not make this fear worse? I watched Dede coddle Mitchell when he was afraid of the dark. Till he was seven, he'd only blink one eye at a time... Gave a lot of girls a very wrong idea. Manny, you don't want to do this right? No, I really don't. Okay, papi, you know what? Let's switch. I'm going to drive. I've got a bombshell, mom. Ay, papi, thank you, but this is a very weird thing to say when we're in this position. No, I've decided I'm never driving. Uh... unh-unh-unh-unh! No way. You there. You there. We're doing this my way. Ah, yeah, 'cause it's your way or the highway. Oh, God. Not the highway. You always want me to be his dad. Well, I'm being his dad. Oh, uh, I-I'm really scared, Jay. This is what we're fixing. Look, when I was a kid, I lived by a big, scary black lake. I always thought there monsters in there and whatnot. One night, my dad dragged me out of bed and tossed me right in that cold water. I was never scared of that lake again. Now, give it some gas. - Mama! - Aah! That's another habit I wouldn't mind breaking, but, you know, right now we... have to... Oh, what am I doing? I hated my dad for that. I ended up scared of him, not the lake. Manny, it's okay. Over there! On the bike! The white guy that stole my phone! I don't see anyone. Yes! He just turned the corner! The phone burglar! He's getting away! Not this time. Up there to the left! I don't see anyone! I didn't see anyone either. I made it up. I am not going to drive my son around until he's 40. The only thing stronger than Manny's fear is his need to protect his mama. Oh, no! He got away! But you did very good, Manny. That was a frickin' rush! But we're not giving up. We're gonna find that guy. No! Are you sure about this? Just go. I'm walking home. I can't even hear him it's so loud. Can everybody just shut up? ! - Hello. - Hello. Is this Phil dumpster? - Stop. - What do you want, Gil? Got to be kidding me. Hang on. Is that your hot wife I hear? Hey, is she still taking those yoga classes? Hanging up. W-w-wait. Wait. Real quick. The listing at 225 cedar street, it's mine now. You poached my listing? Poached it, seasoned it, and covered it in Thorpe-andaise sauce, my friend. You should thank me, dumpy. You're back in second place with your favorite view... - Ugh. - ... My sweet behind. Why does everything with him have to be so dramatic? Why are we stopping? Ohh. Oh, my God! I thought I lost you. What's to tell? A truck runs a stop sign, I avoid it, everyone walks away... Bing, bang, no boom. - Um, there was a truck! - That was crazy! - Okay, okay. - Where did it even come from? - You don't see that truck... - Everybody calm down. Calm down. Let's not overreact. - What? ! - Dad! - We were almost just killed! - Yes! Exactly. Almost, which means we're all just fine. You aren't the least bit upset? It's gonna take more than that to ruin a morning that started with a whipped-cream smile on my waffle. Okay, it may have affected me a little, but sometimes it's hard to know what you're feeling. Mostly, I was thinking about racquetball later and hopefully giving Cam a nice spanking. Fair warning... may be working out some anger issues on the racquetball court this morning. - Don't ask. - Sounds good. So, we're getting our new dryer delivered. It's supposed to be eggshell, but, oh, it's not eggshell... It's white. Anyway, I'm laying into the delivery driver, and Mitchell strolls in and says, "oh, it's fine," and then offers him a piece of his banana loaf. I heard that. Uh, just once, I would like Mitchell to take my side. I'm constantly strolling in and saving him like a little princess in the tower. Sometimes I'd like to be the princess. - Six of one, right? - What? Why are... Why are we stopping? I'm... I'm very confused, Phillip. Trust me, this house is gonna sell at Thorpe speed. Hey, guys. Oh, hey, Phil. I guess you heard. I'm sorry. Oh, no, it happens all the time. I just stopped by to give you guys a little care package to show you there's no hard feelings. Class act, dung beetle. Here's the malpractice attorney most of his clients have used after he's ripped them off. You will be losing some sleep, but these have always helped my wife. And this priest is retired, but I think he still does exorcisms, which you'll need after today. - Listen, Phil... - It's okay. It's sad, really, to see a once-mediocre realtor reduced to this. Gil, please, let's keep this civil. Oh, by the way, if you ever speak disrespectfully again about my wife, I'll kill you. Sorry. That sounded like a joke. I will actually kill you. Anyhoo, when you guys wake up and smell the sulfur, here's a list of other realtors, and if you need me, I'll be in the office at 9:00... Uh, 10:00. I have the dentist. Where did that come from? Life's too short to be ruled by fear. What do you say we get you the right dryer, princess? Oh, my. I mean, Phil is usually just so... But then he was just, like, so... And then he got even more... There's nothing I can do. - I can't go for that. - No can do. Cameron here bought an eggshell dryer. Not white, not oatmeal, not Swiss-coffee, not baby-powder, not bone. Eggshell. Look, Rob, is it? That's interesting. Here's how this is going down... We don't leave without that eggshell dryer. Not swan-feather, not Chester-pig-white. I think we've covered the colors. I sell houses to people every day who ask me where they should buy their dryer. I don't think you want me giving them any... static. I may have one in the back. But it takes two guys to load the truck, and it's just me today. Is it? It was right about then that a question started nagging at me. Is Phil sexy? Hey. You feel like doing something a little crazy with me? What? No. What? No. Hey, honey. Phil, honey, how you holding up? Good. I'm at the beach... Long story. I was hoping you wouldn't mind waiting at the house for Luke's tutor. Actually, I would mind. I'd mind quite a bit. - I'm kind of busy. - Okay. Cam, there's something that Claire would never approve of that I've always wanted to do. Always? We're gonna want to put a blanket down on that backseat. This was a huge mistake. I am jammed in the backseat with a hairy Peruvian biter. It's spring break '92 all over again! Well, speed bump coming up. Hold the leash taut. It's supposed to keep her calm. I got lucky. I don't think this one's a spitter. Ohh. Uh, I spoke too soon. You think? That's it. Pull over. You know, Phil, I wanted to support you on this. I'm a firm believer in livestock in the home, but you are out of control. No, I'm in control... More than ever. And if me getting what I want inconveniences people a little, then so be it. Oh. Uh, she's nervous. The guy said you should let her suck on your hair. Okay, that is it. I am done. ♪ Enough of this ridiculousness ♪ And thank you, Phil, for making me appreciate Mitchell. He may have his faults, but at least he's not a crazy person. Phil, honey. Yes, Claire. I got an alpaca... Again. And there's nothing you can say about it. I'm not saying anything. What's the problem? Mom, dad! There is a camel in the living room! It's not a c... - I-I just can't. - Okay. I see you've all met Jolene two. Sadly, the original Jolene that your mother made me return was cruelly adopted by a children's hospital. You see, something hit me this morning when that truck didn't hit me this morning... I have not been in control of my own life. But those days are done. - Oh. - Mm. Huh. Well, I guess I'm not in control of everything, am I? Funny, isn't it? You can try and try, but in the blink of an eye... You can lose everything that matters to you. Dad, are you okay? Don't you all see what's going on here? Dad really wanted that milk. I almost lost you guys today... All of you. - Aw. - Just like that. Aw, daddy. Oh, honey. You spent the whole day trying to control everything, and I spent the entire day trying not to, and neither way worked, did it? Nope. I may fight you on this, but I'm gonna need you to make me get rid of Jolene two. - She's a biter. - I know. As soon as we're done with this hug. Hey, whatever this is, I need to get in on it. I almost died today. - Grandpa. - Daddy. - Aw, dad. - Hey. Come here. - Aww. - Come here, you. Learn how to drive, lady! I will get to the meeting when I get there. I looked death in the face today. Hel... hello. Yes, I would like to leave a message. My husband ordered an eggshell dryer... Not talc, not parchment... Eggshell. Hey, you're home early. What happened to you? Doesn't matter. So, I called that appliance store, and I demanded that you get the dryer that you wanted. Oh, well, it must've worked because they're taking away the wrong one right now. Anything for you, princess. Ooh! Who's this guy? Get over here, sexy. If you want to see sexy, I just... - Ooh. - Ah-choo! Ah-choo! Oh, d... what is all over you? - Well, now you are. - Ah-choo! What do most of us want from life? How about someone to love? Somewhere to live? Somewhere to work? And something to hope for. Love, home, work, hope - ambitious maybe, but those four expectations define a good life and have done for generations. Now there is an election coming, and Panorama has been finding out if politics and politicians can really deliver what Britain wants. Here is some hope, a chance to get on and make something of your life... We are going to fight this fight in the right way, we will offer hope, not false oaths. Britain has changed, the old certainties have faded away, communities with a sense of pride in their past face an uncertain future. Politicians promise a better tomorrow, but it never seems to come. We are the party that most represents the hopes and aspirations for the future... What they want is hope! So hope is the basic currency of politics, but this film is not about politics. It is about a town whose people you might think have plenty of pretty good reasons for having given up. Our country faces the most unpredictable election in our lifetime. Hopes wrestle fears - in this town as in every other. Morning! Fine, thanks, how are you? Oh, it is lovely and warm in here! Welcome to Lowestoft. This Suffolk town is the biggest in the constituency of Waverley, and for 30 years it has swung with the mood of the nation from Conservative to Labour and back again. Now there is a new kid on the block, from Clacton to Cleethorpes, the seaside towns of the East Coast seem to be looking for a new saviour, and Ukip is here. The political landscape is changing, but what people want remains the same. It is up to the politicians, the Government, to sort England out. They are not really listening to you? They are not really listening to the public, no. They listen to them when they want to be elected, and when they are elected, they don't do nothing. To understand why people here are disillusioned, you have to understand the town's past. That past was fishing. Once, it's defined the town, but no longer. Now these weather-beaten wooden frames reminds Lowestoft of what used to be. Not so long ago, fishermen hung their huge driftnets from them to dry. Today it is where people come to walk their dogs. The old frames seem to whisper to you - what was is no more. This is East Anglia's equivalent of an abandoned gold mine in the Rhondda Valley or a derelict steelworks in the north-east or a shipbuilding yard on the Clyde that has long since stopped making ships. It is tempting to recall the politician who was doing one of those bogus groups that politicians so love, and he was trying to get the people to tell him what they liked about the country as it is today. -- focus. He was getting nowhere, nobody had anything to say, until one man ventured, rather timidly, the past, I liked the past. For many people, the present is clouded with disappointment. It is hard whether for politics. -- weather. This is written large in the language of Lowestoft, day in and day out, these men of our fishing fleets braved the roughest of weather to gather the harvest of the sea... A group of amateur film-makers, the Lowestoft Movie Makers, build this cinema, and they love a bit of nostalgia. Ivan is the town archivist, there is not much he does not know about Lowestoft. Now our turn comes, the nets are thrown over to gather the silver all. This is a town that has lost its way, like the mining towns and villages, the steel towns and villages, the fishing industry was the cultural glue that gave the town its identity, so the town is now looking desperately for another identity. My generation, we are a little bit responsible for holding the town back, too busy being nostalgic and looking backwards. By doing that, we are stopping the town being forward-looking? I have got a little badge here that says, history matters. Which is true! But you have just been telling me that you cannot live in the past. But the future is more important. The few fishermen who remain fished the way that men have built for millennia, lines slung over the sides of the boat with baited hooks. It is a hard way to make a living. Morning, Steve! Only ten boats remain. They are small inshore vessels, no more than ten metres long, like this one, Georgi Girl. Meet the skipper, Steve, one of Lowestoft's last. We always hope for a good catch, there is not many of us left now. Our family has been fishing this coastline for generations now. We are struggling to keep it going. How is it that you can manage to make a reasonable living, then? It is because we are small and we are a family, and we keep the expenses down. Steve did not catch any fish on this trip, a vicious zero easterly wind made BC to rough, but the weather is not his real enemy. -- northeasterly made the sea. The herrings now come to the attention of an army offshore workers. If you want to get some idea about how much things have changed, then come to the fish market on Lowestoft. - - Lowestoft quay. In the past, they would be shifting 30 or 40 tonnes, today they will be reread that the two ships two. Ten, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60! This place was once the town's beating heart, buzzing with sailors, doctors and merchants cutting deals. But in 2015, there is a real fear that he -- the fish market's days are numbered. The guts have been ripped out of this town by successive politicians not getting a good deal for Great Britain, and consequently we have now got a market that is 100 the size it was and we have got no fishermen left. They are more red and the fish themselves now. -- rare than. If Ukip has a heartland, it may well be here. The party wants to be free of the European Union. These people want to be free of its fisheries policy and its regulations, which they say can mean half the fish they catch having to be thrown back again. June runs the auction. What is real left in this country? In the world, what is real? My fishermen are real, they go out, how many men and for their fish or their food? There is no hunters left, they hunt, a brave men, different breed, they have got to stay. This is why Steve is so worried about fishing. He has got two young boys, and they both want to go to see, just like their father and their grandfather. -- go to sea. Well, I am going to be a fishermen for our family, so I can make some money. -- fisherman. I heard that most of the people my age get to learn how to be a skipper. I have been fishing with Add a long time, well, as long as I can remember. - - Dad. I have always wanted to do a job that involves the sea. I am a fisherman, I always have been, I am proud of that, but I have hoped that I was going to catch some fish, every time I went to sea. You can cope with the early mornings and a freezing cold, but not with throwing half the catch back to sea when you have got bills to pay and kids to feed. It is terrible, really, terrible. It is all down to politicians. At the moment I feel like I shall not benefit anybody, I am thoroughly disillusioned with all manner of politicians, yeah. That is how I feel. I will probably change my mind, but at the minute I do not think there is any of them that worthy of vote. -- that are worthy of the vote. They call this Ness Point, as Far East as you can go and still be in Britain. They are proud of that distinction, but you pay the price for this in globalisation, unless you have something to special to offer. Towns like Lowestoft can be forgotten. Life was hard in many ways when I was a young man, luxuries we take for granted today simply did not exist, but we knew things would get better. We expected to get a job when we left school and earn enough to buy a house, and we could see the country changing for the better, becoming a more tolerant place. We began to recognise racism for what it was and to realise that gay men and women should have equal rights. And we expected that we would be better off than our parents, and that was not taken for granted for most of Britain today. A town like Lowestoft pays a price in a number of different ways. When the industry that has sustained it falls a number of different ways. When the industry that has sustained it falls along dries up. Throughout the good years, people knew that there would pretty much always be a job for them and their children, maybe even their grandchildren, in fishing or shipbuilding. Then the jobs dry up. But the attitude towards education, that had seemed so unimportant during those good years, that attitude as by then becoming grained. And this school is the perfect illustration of that. Since the boom years began, it has been an independent the paying school, a grammar school, a comprehensive, and an academy. Now it is in special measures, which leaves you wondering what all those changes achieved. Three of the four secondary schools in Lowestoft have been in special measures. When a school is placed into special measures, much like a bereavement, the community go through stages of disbelief, anger, upset. -- goes through. Finally, there is the resilience to carry on with life in the school's journey to recover a position where you are good. Turning around a failing school is tough, no doubt about that, but Mr Marshall says his job is made even tougher by politicians interfering all the time. John, I cannot look at my years sevens and with any confidence tell them even the name of the qualification that they may be studying when they are in year 11. That seems to me to be a view which is... Well, it is something I find deeply difficult to reconcile. All towns and cities look more impressive from above, you cannot see the imperfections, the graffiti on the walls or the dog mess on the streets. You cannot see the messy reality of people's lives, which is why politicians usually prefer the big picture. It is easier for them to agree on whether to buy another Trident submarine than it is to stop teenagers smoking skunk and schoolgirls getting pregnant. But that's what delivering hope is all about. She got sectioned because of it. My dad was working at the time and he had to leave his job because he couldn't look after me and my brother as well as working and that impacted our life. Megan got pregnant at 16, she hated school and left with very few qualifications. She's a tough young woman and wants to change things. I think education in Lowestoft is poor. The schools - a big priority for me, being a mother, education is one of the biggest things that I would want to be changed in this town. I want my son to have a good education. Megan has been homeless and she's lived in a squalid bedsit with no heating or hot water. When she talks of her baby son, she radiates hope. I want him to have a nice, happy life. I want him to do well at school and do well in life and get a career. And work hard. That's the main thing. And have loads of determination in life to do what he wants to do. And Megan sees her family's future here in Lowestoft. We do live here. This town could change and develop better. Alone, it's not - us people in Lowestoft isn't enough. We do need the help from politicians. What rescued Megan from homelessness was not politicians, it was people like Emma Ratzer. She runs a local charity that was set up to help fishermen who had fallen on hard times. Now, it is helping youngsters like Megan, who had lost hope. This is The Globe. I walk past it on my way to work every day. I pass the young people on their way to school who are drinking their fizzy drinks and eating their Mars bar snacks, which are their breakfast. I thought wouldn't The Globe make an excellent venue for breakfast clubs so people can have breakfast on their way to school. We are working with fourth and fifth generation worklessness. Four or five generations without work? Yes. That is a lot. It is, yes. A lot of what we are trying to do is raise aspiration. And get them to see there are other things they can do. A good example of one of the battles we have - we took some 15 and 16-year-olds into Norwich on the train, a 40-minute journey, and some of them had never been to Norwich. It seems almost... In order to show a young person the future, you take him to Norwich. There is nothing wrong with that, it is a great city. It is bizarre. It is about getting people out of their environment and showing them that there is something else. Or maybe someone else. If so, who? The politicians? It is about whoever is in power at the time, listening to what they have got to say, and finding a way to make that work for our community. You are saying the fate of Lowestoft isn't going to be determined by the man in Westminster, or the man in Whitehall? Not at all. Some of the problems arise from people thinking that they are going to be our salvation, that we will sit and wait for the right Government at the right time to have the right policies to help breathe life into Lowestoft. That is not going to happen. That's not what I'm waiting for. It wasn't the gentleman in Whitehall who built this school, it was the gentleman in Ipswich, a local government project. The town had been through some very hard times, in particular with its economy, and there was a long history of children at the schools locally not doing as well as they could do. The idea behind this one was to challenge some of those low expectations. I think the message to everyone that sees this building, and when you come up the drive and you see that this community has invested in all of this, that embodiment of hope is what helps inspire the children to do that little bit better. Whenever you film in a school, the head always wants you to talk to the brightest kids - fair enough - and these were bright. They loved the school but they didn't have much hope for the future of the town. When you come to Lowestoft, and you are not from Lowestoft, you don't get the best vibes from it. It is quite gloomy, I think, would you agree with that? It is degrading the fact that the industry has gone and people sort of look on Lowestoft and think it's had its time and it's past and gone. I think it's a small town with big dreams, where you have to - we all look outside of the box and think what else is out there? Everyone has given up with it already, outside the area as well. You always see, like, new shops opening and then a couple of months later they shut down. Do you? Do you all agree with that? You don't? Right. What do you think? Lowestoft is lovely. I really like it here. We do seem like a friendly, welcoming community. I do like Lowestoft, but I don't think it's got much opportunity for the next generation. At that other school I visited, there have been developments. The day before I met Mr Marshall the Government inspectors had gone in again and their verdict? The school is out of special measures. A sign of hope for the town. It is difficult to feel pride and to feel like you belong to a school that is in special measures. That is a clear label that things are not as good as they might be. To have that removed is an enormously significant contribution to our forward journey. As I heard on the playground today, our students said, "Things are improving" and they say it with a smile and they are proud of the school that they attend. That is as it should be for every child. Across town, on an industrial estate, you will find Harrod UK. It grew out of the fishing industry. Ron Harrod used to buy old nets from fishermen and sell them to gardeners, that was 60 years ago. Today, it is run by his children and now it is a big international business. If you have ever watched a football match, you will have seen one of their nets. The ladies over here are joining the nets. These are football nets that they are working on here. We supply everyone from Wembley, Chelsea, Manchester United, all of the clubs. This man knows a thing or two about Lowestoft's past. Like many here, he comes from a family of fisher folk. 20 years ago, he was made redundant from the fishing industry. He is not weeping about it, he says the success of Harrod UK is a sign of hope for the town. I came to Harrods in 1996, just as they were doing Euro 96. We are pushing really hard to go forward. Not everybody sees that that still happens in Lowestoft, so places like this are, they are certainly my future and my colleagues' future. A more positive approach would be good. There is something that everyone in Lowestoft agrees on - it is difficult to be positive when it is so hard to get here and even harder to get around once you have arrived. It is the most easterly point in the country as well. Once you get here, that is it. There is nowhere else to go. We have seen lots of industries close over the years and there's been very little new investment. I'm sure it is as a result of roads just to get here, they are so poor. Then getting around the town as well is not good either. Well, the bridge is the problem, isn't it? Yes, the bridge is hopeless, it goes off several times a day. The long-term future has to be to sort the infrastructure out. NEWSREEL: Increased activities in the dock has highlighted a problem... The bridge! For generations, it has divided the town. NEWSREEL: This is the real source of the problem, the town's harbour bridge. When it is raised to allow a ship to pass, everything stops. It divides this small town. It can take an hour to get from one side of it to the other. To use a bridge as a metaphor for hope might seem a bit obvious, a bit trite. But it works. Bridges get you to where you want to go. At least that, is the theory. Well, that's it. Nothing can go across it and even as I speak, the traffic is starting to build-up. There's a lot of frustration out there. We need a new bridge! And a new A12! Otherwise what happens? We've got no work! You blame that on the bridge? Yes! It goes up. Who wants to bring a factory here when you have got to wait - this is going up-and-down all the time? You need a new crossing? We do. Desperately. The Labour politician, the Conservative politician - politicians generally are arguing with each other which is the best situation but nothing ever gets done and they use the argument to delay it. They probably think Lowestoft doesn't deserve it. Really? Yes. Of course, the town needs another bridge - everyone agrees on that. The people can't build it themselves. It will cost a fortune. It has to be a political decision. And the politicians have been squabbling about it for 50 years. No wonder the people are angry. So, the bridge is closing. Any minute now, the town is about to get on the move again. Where's it going? Well, nobody's quite sure. What they are sure of is that they can't rely on the politicians to take them there. They know that they will have to do it for themselves. Are they hopeful? Yeah. There's plenty of hope. You can catch up with all four-parts of this Panorama series on BBC iPlayer. There's nothing out there in the world that is better than what we have, here. Let's pick back up itsuka togireta The dream that never ended yume no tsuzuki hajimeyō Just join up the stars hoshi o tsunagete Drawing a door up in the sky sora ni tobira kakeba ii This is a brand new stage arata na stage wa For challenging the Gods. kami ni idomu basho Fierce, intense, dynamic. kyōretsu mōretsu dynamic. Let's go. Go. Make a big panic. Let's Go. Go. dai panic. Losing will just make you stronger makeru to tsuyoku naru Being called foolhardy just means... minohodo shirazu ni wa Regrets and limits won't ever stop you. kōkai to ka genkai to ka nai mon Superb, sublime, dynamic. sōzetsu chōzetsu dynamic. Let's go. Yes. Show me your kicks. Let's Go. Yes. renda kick Make us shake with excitement. abisete mushaburui You've got a super tale to tell. sugee koto ga matte'run da ze Dragon Ball Super is brought to you by Bandai and these sponsors. At long last, the God of Destruction Beerus has set to work. The Kaio take notice, and fear that a new battle may begin... Elsewhere, a large crowd of friends have gathered aboard the cruise ship where Bulma's birthday party is being held, however... Vegeta's not coming because he's training? . And Son-kun too? . At the same time, the God of Destruction Beerus set off towards the north Kaio's planet, where Goku was, to find the Super Saiyan God... I will find him... This "Super Saiyan God" guy. Aim for the Dragon Balls. Aim for the Dragon Balls. The Pilaf Gang's Master Plan. The Pilaf Gang's Master Plan. Now I remember... Hey, Whis. Couldn't you have got some other sides? . There's nothing but Planet Watrin's fried salmon... and Nebula 65's chicken in tartare sauce here. I'm so tired of their tastes. How can you say you're tired of them, when I've only made you this once before, 160 years ago? That time when you destroyed Planet Monser. If I'm tired of them, I'm tired of them. Either way, you had better finish your food quickly, Beerus-sama. We'll be arriving at the north Kaio's planet in about 10 minutes. Oh, really? Why...? Why is Beerus-sama's ki headed for this planet...? Oh, I can't take it. He'll be here any moment. What're ya doin', Kaio-sama? G-G-Goku. Y-You're still here? Didn't you say that "Bulma" friend of yours was having a birthday party? Well, you know, I ain't too great at dealing' with parties... Y-You're going to lose friends with that attitude. You've been actin' weird for a while, Kaio-sama, so I've been wonderin' why. I've been acting weird? . Huh? I'm weird. I'm weird. I'm going crazy. I'm weird. I'm weird. I'm going crazy. Something really does seem weird... What's more important, my birthday or training? . Come on, Bulma-san... I've known your dad for how many years now? That reminds me, Bulma-san, how old will you be today? Ouch. How rude. Why would I ever tell you that? . Oh, dear. Wow. I've never been on a cruise ship before. You can tell they're the richest family in the world. Goku-sa's sure got some great friends. Is it true that you've prepared a castle and an... aeroplane as prizes for today's bingo contest? Yep, that's right. But the Grand Prize is even better. "Grand Prize: Secret" All right, Kuririn. With Maron here, that makes three of us. Let's make sure we go home with that second place castle. Huh? You're fine with just the second place prize? Is second not high enough? Oh, I didn't mean it like that... Oh, Goku-sa... Why'd you have to go training' at a time like this? . Are you really gonna show me the bingo prizes? Just for you, Goten. This way. Sorry. Hey. Huh? What was that? Okay, let's open this up. Right. Whoa. Are these all bingo prizes? Tsk tsk tsk... Goten, don't go getting surprised yet. Click. What's this? Oh, Goten. Of course it'll hurt if you just rush in and touch it. Whoa, that's some tough security.... Mum's invention. She says that nobody will find the grand prize when it's in this. Then we won't be able to see it either... Don't worry. Mum's inventions may be great, but... See? They've always got some sort of flaw. Great job, Trunks-kun. Okay then, I'll show you the grand prize. Whoa. I'm hungry... It's your own fault, Pilaf-sama. We've had nothing but grass to eat for three days. That's a harsh diet, even for a dog. Just where on this island is the treasure supposed to be, anyway? . It says right here on the map. It was an entire 50 zeny, so search properly. Who would believe such a cruddy map? The same goes for that boat. Thanks to you skimping out, the engine broke. Now we can't even get back to the port, can we? . How could you? . Am I going to die here...? Just stop complaining and get searching for the treasure. I'm so hungry... I want some dinner pancakes... And if I can't even catch one small fry, are you telling me that even the fish are disrespecting King Pilaf? . Aren't they great? Mum's been collecting them specifically for today. The seven Dragon Balls are all together... And they're headed this way. N-No way... It couldn't be. Our luck has finally started to turn. Pilaf-sama. You've hooked some food. Here goes. The Dragon Radar.... S-Stop. Our dinner.... Oww... Who cares about such cheap crap? . Siu, Mai... I've found all seven Dragon Balls. Ugh... Here... There. Now I've got to put them back. Both of you, have a look at this. There's not even a single one there. You're probably just so hungry you started hallucinating. Huh? What? . W-W-What? . You finally hooked a fish and you let it go, Pilaf-sama. You're wrong. I saw them. Geez... You mean you broke it when you got it wet, then? It's waterproof. I know I saw them. Translation: bluesun TLC: Adamant QC: SakoeraTyan, ALG, JulesMFinWinnfield One, two... One, two, one, two... I can't go on... I'm too hungry... Listen up, you two. The Dragon Balls are on that ship. Pilaf-sama, the boat's taking on water. So row with all you've got. One, two. Pilaf-sama, it's no use. Okay, okay. Come to the front. Pilaf-sama... Don't cry, Mai... Easy for you to say. Don't cry, Siu. If we can just get the Dragon Balls, we can do whatever we want. But we didn't even see them. Are the seven Dragon Balls really even there? Mai, trust me. They're on that ship. P-Pilaf-sama. Huh? What? Let's get out of here. How'd you like that, you dumb shark? . Pilaf-sama, we made it. I thought I was going to die... You two have done well. Hey. What're you doing? Hey. Climb this. You have my thanks, children. What were you doing down there? We're here for the Dra drama serial we're shooting. Where're your cameras? W-Well, you see... Would you like some food? It's my mum's birthday today. She's even got lots of food stalls. Really? . Hold on, you two. We can't go about accepting handouts. I'm King Pilaf, you know? Aw... Oh well. If you say so, Pilaf-sama... Is that so? Okay then. Y-You fools. You're too obedient. How about going against my orders sometimes and bringing me back a bit? . It's all tasty. Well, if you insist, I guess I'll have to eat it. Delicious. You two dig in as well. Pilaf-sama. Even 150-fold gravity has outlived its purpose... Excuse me, Vegeta-sama? Leave. You're interrupting my training. B-Bulma-sama called, she wants you to come to her birthday party. Just go away already. Tell her I'm not going to any such thing. Vegeta. What's going on in that head of yours, not coming to your pretty wife's birthday party? . Make sure you come, you hear me. Yo. Ha. Ho. Yo. Oh, I can't take it, oh... Oh, why's Beerus-sama coming here? Ka... me... ha... me... ha.... That was a nice one. You idiot. Tell me before you go firing that everywhere. That ain't good... Give us some thought sometimes, won't you? Sorry about that... I just wanna train and get stronger... Really now... That's exactly why I don't want you and Beerus-sama to meet. Huh? Who's Beerus-sama? Oh, I'm such an idiot, an idiot, an idiot. You really were hiding' somethin' from me. So that's why you were actin' so weird. Is that guy a human? He's not human. He's a god. He's on about the same level as the Kaioshin-sama. And he's headed this way. But if he's a god, that shouldn't be a problem, should it? He's a fickle and incredibly fearsome god, you see. A fearsome god? He governs over the destruction in the universe, and... destroys planets and lifeforms at the slightest peeve. Like someone not pickin' up after walking' their dog? Well, I guess so. Like someone not eatin' everything on their plate? Well, I guess so. Like someone peeing' in a hot spring? That's right. When he wakes up, he just keeps destroying... tons until he gets sleepy again. I get it. Then he's a bad guy. That's not so. Beerus-sama is a god. For there to be balance in this plane of existence, if there are gods that create, there must also be gods that destroy. Then he's strong, right? He's on a level far beyond "strong". He's capable of destroying absolutely everything there is. Nobody stands a chance against him. I can't wait to meet him. Goku. I'm begging you, please try your hardest not to do anything stupid. Okay? You understand? Got it. As long as he doesn't do anythin' bad, I'll keep away. Oww... What was that for? . Honestly... What is it? Beerus-sama... So that's this "God of Destruction"... I see little kids hurrying off colourful na ransel Colourful backpacks on their backs shou kodomo-tachi kaketeyuku If I was a kid like them... osanaki hi no boku nara What colour would I choose? nani iro erabi Where would I be heading? doko e mukau? Hello, hello hello...? hello, hello hello What do you think of the man I've become? ima no boku wa dô mietemasu ka? Hello, hello hello...? hello, hello hello Can you be proud of the man you'll become? hokoreru senaka o shiteimasu ka? As you grow, you may slip up at times itchomae ni shippai kurikaeshi sore o But you'll come out on top, just wait and see bane ni tobu toki o matte-iru yo This is my song for the younger me ano hi no boku-ate no uta Yo. It's me, Goku. Kaio-sama's suckin' up to him this much... Is he really that strong? He's called a God of Destruction, so of course I wanna find out. Don't stop me now, Kaio-sama... I really wanna fight him. Next time on Dragon Ball Super: A Battle on Kaio's Planet! A Battle on Kaio's Planet! Goku VS God of Destruction Beerus Goku VS God of Destruction Beerus "A Battle on Kaio's Planet! Goku VS God of Destruction Beerus". Subs provided by [KamiFS] Visit them on IRC #KamiFS {\blur1.5}Let's pick back up {\blur1.5}The dream that never ended {\blur1.5}Just join up the stars {\blur1.5}Drawing a door up in the sky {\blur1.5}This is a brand new stage {\blur1.5}For challenging the Gods! dynamic! {\blur1.5}Let's go! Go! Make a big panic! {\blur1.5}Losing will just make you stronger {\blur1.5}Being called foolhardy just means... {\blur1.5}Regrets and limits won't ever stop you! dynamic! {\blur1.5}Let's go! Yes! Show me your kicks! {\blur1.5}Make us shake with excitement! {\blur1.5}You've got a super tale to tell! awoke. was fearful of a new fight. On the cruise where Bulma's birthday is celebrated... Goku's friends are all gathered Vegeta is training so he does not come? ! And Son-kun too? ! Bills is on his way to North Kaio planet. To see Goku seeking a Super Saiyan God. the so-called Super Saiyan God.. Aim for the Dragon Balls! Pilaf Gang's great strategy! Now I remember ... Wiss Hey! Can not you do something with this meal? The food we had on the planet 64 stinks! it's true. it is prepared only once every 164 years. When you destroyed that planet. I told you I'm sick of this food! Bills-sama. End soon with that. We reach the North Kaio planet in about 10 minutes. Really? Why? ! Why Bills Ki-sama coming to this planet ? ! Curse! he's getting closer! why are you acting weird? G-Goku! Are you still here ? ! You do not have to go to Bulma's birthday party? I do not really like parties... you lose friends! I have also curious to know why you're acting so weird. Me I'm weird ? ! strange. I'm strange. strange. I'm strange. You really have something strange ... training or me ? ! Bulma-san Bulma-san how old are met? How rude! Why do you ask me that? ! well ... I expected no less of a millionaire! Goku has good friends! Is it true that we have a plane and a castle as bingo prizes? You are right! But the special award is much more amazing! Krillin! We are three with Maron! which is the second prize! Huh? Want the second prize? Is there anything wrong with that? I did not mean that ... Goku is not here at this moment in time! Why was he training ? ! Are you going to let him see bingo prizes? Goten! This way! Sorry! Darn you! What the? let's open! Yes! Are these all bingo prizes? it is too early to be surprised! What is this? Goten! You should not touch it so suddenly. right? It is an invention of mom. She said that nothing could be detected with the award. So we will not be able to see ... Do not worry. but ... Did you see? There is always some trick! Trunks! I'll show you the special prize! Wow! I'm hungry... Pilaf-sama! I'm a dog but this is too much! what guarantees that this island is a treasure? It's what this map says! looking good ... How could you believe this ? ! the motor broke down because it is not of good quality. we will not get to reach the port. What are we going to do? I am going to die here? Stay calm and continue to seek the treasure! I'm hungry... I want to eat monjayaki ... I do not get any fish or fish... right? Wow! right? My mama collected these today! The seven Dragonballs are gathered and closer ... N-N-Do not tell me that ... Do not tell me ... are there! But what a great opportunity! Pilaf Sama! The food is itching! My Dragon radar! Wait! Our food! I do not need more of those crumbs! It does not matter! I found the seven Dragon Balls! Let's put them as they were before. you two! There is nothing on the radar! Surely there must have been some trick of hunger! Eh? Eh? Eh? ! And let out over the fish! You are wrong! I've seen them! could it be that was ruined by the water? This is protection against water... I'm pretty sure I saw them! I can not anymore ... I'm hungry... Listen up! The Dragon Balls are on that cruise! the boat is filling with water! Remen with all his might! we can only...! I understand! Come here to the front! Pilaf sama! Mai! It is that all this is so ... Shu! When we have the Dragon Balls we can ask whatever we want! But we saw nothing. Are you sure they were together the 7 Dragonballs? they are within that cruise u-un...! Hu-Flee! Shark idiot! we got it! I thought you were going to die! Be careful not to fall! Oi! What are doing? come up here! guys! What were you doing there? We came by.... We came to shoot scenes for a drama! And where are the cameras? Well that... you can eat! Today is my mother's birthday There are many stalls too! Can we? ! Except both! I do not want to receive favors from anyone! I am a great King Pilaf! But... we must obey Pilaf-sama ... I understand ... Really? let's go. Yes! I-Idiots! You are very naive! Why not disobey me a bit and will eat ? ! Eh? Everything is delicious! I'll eat some! How delicious! You also eat! Pilaf-sama! Even increased 150 times gravity is good for nothing. Vegeta-sama. Get out of here! I'm training! she wants you to attend her birthday party I will not go to a party! Vegeta why arn't you coming to your beautiful wifes birthday party? ! Come immediately! heavens! Heavens! Why Bills-sama will come here? Ka... Me... Ka... Me... Ha It was very strong ... Fool! Why you do not tell me before you do something like that? ! Curse! Why you not think about it in our lives? I just want to train to get stronger. Wow ... That problem. That's why I do not want to come across Bills-sama. Huh? Who is that Bills-sama? can not be ... idiot ... I knew it! You're hiding something! That's why you're acting so weird! Is it a person? There is a God. It has the same level as Kaio Shin-sama. he is coming here. no problem. He is a very cold and a very awesome God. An awesome God? He is also called "The God Of Destruction If there is something he does not like the the planet and lives ends up being destroyed. Like when someone stamps on dogs shit? sort of. Like when you can not eat in the cafeteria? sort of. Like when someone urine into the hot springs? Something like that! one after another. right? I would not say it's something. Bills-sama is a God. There needs to be a God to build And a God who destroys to maintain balance is it not? he is someone who can destroy anything in the universe. You can not do anything against him. That seems to be exciting! Goku! do not try anything stupid. You heard right? Understood? Yes I understood! I will do nothing unless he does something bad! What happened suddenly? Heaven... What happened? Bills-sama... So that's the God of Destruction... Hello I am Goku! Kaio-sama was very nervous. Well that guy is strong? with a monstrous Ki. Kaio-sama! I want to see how I can fight him! In the next episode of Super Dragon Ball: Decisive Battle on Planet Kaio-sama! Bills. This is the incredible power of Super Saiyan 3! {\blur1.5}I see little kids hurrying off {\blur1.5}Colourful backpacks on their backs {\blur1.5}If I was a kid like them... {\blur1.5}What colour would I choose? {\blur1.5}Where would I be heading? hello hello...? {\blur1.5}What do you think of the man I've become? hello hello...? {\blur1.5}Can you be proud of the man you'll become? you may slip up at times just wait and see {\blur1.5}This is my song for the younger me Brought to you by AnimeRG.la! Let's pick back up itsuka togireta The dream that never ended yume no tsuzuki hajimeyō Just join up the stars hoshi o tsunagete Drawing a door up in the sky sora ni tobira kakeba ii This is a brand new stage arata na stage wa For challenging the Gods! kami ni idomu basho Fierce, intense, dynamic! kyōretsu mōretsu dynamic! Let's go! Go! Cause a big panic! Let's Go! Go! dai panic! Losing will just make you stronger makeru to tsuyoku naru Being called foolhardy just means... minohodo shirazu ni wa Regrets and limits won't ever stop you! kōkai to ka genkai to ka nai mon Superb, sublime, dynamic! sōzetsu chōzetsu dynamic! Let's go! Yes! Show me your kicks! Let's Go! Yes! renda kick Make us shake with excitement! abisete mushaburui You've got a super tale to tell! sugee koto ga matte'run da ze At long last, the God of Destruction Beerus has set to work. The Kaio take notice, and fear that a new battle may begin... Elsewhere, a large crowd of friends have gathered aboard the cruise ship where Bulma's birthday party is being held, however... Vegeta's not coming because he's training? ! And Son-kun too? ! I had some rawness to me. I had some athletic ability. He shaped all that. He was competitive, he wanted to win, he was competitive, he wanted to win, but he never let that interfere with what he thought of you as a young man. He was a very humble man. He was a very proud man. He's taught me the importance of competing and working hard and focusing on the process and the practice, as opposed to the end result and the stats. Always respect the people you're around -- Your teammates, your peers, your professors, your parents. We knew we were in the midst of greatness, just being on the same court with him. I still remember, you know, the last time I actually saw him, you know? I couldn't do nothing but hug him. There's not a day goes by that I don't try to make him proud of me. That I don't try to make him proud of me. He's still our coach. He's still our coach. I got a ball in my hand, I'm a little nervous, and he was telling us about the university, and it was strictly academics first, you know, basketball second, which is what I didn't want to hear 'cause I was thinking more basketball first and academics second. And my parents were ecstatic. And my parents were ecstatic. He came into my house and he said "I promise you that your son's going to have to go to class and his freshman year, if it's okay with you guys, I'd like for him to go to church -- mandatory." For the very first 30 minutes of the conversation, we didn't talk about basketball. We talked about race relations, being a good student, being a good citizen, so many other things. When we do come down and break the press, you know, if you have it, fine, if not, then reset. Dean Smith spent 36 seasons as the basketball coach of the university of north Carolina. He won 879 games, had 27 consecutive seasons winning 20 or more games, made 11 final four appearances, two national championships, two national championships, and nurtured countless nba players as freshmen in chapel hill. Smith was disciplined and humbled, innovative and creative, a fierce and fair competitor determined and hell-bent on winning and doing it his way. And doing it his way. The distance from here to Mike... I've known him since I was a junior in high school and I've never heard him swear. Now, he would say some things to us sometimes, you'd wish he would've sworn at you. Hold it! Wake up! Never heard him say "damn" or "hell" or anything like that. It was just -- "James!" That was it. Now, as I get closer, you got to get closer, all right? Now, as I get closer, you got to get closer, all right? Now, move your feet. Keep your hands steady. Play. He could deliver a message that was much stronger than a 4-letter word and he could talk about Brian Reese stepping out of bounds in practice. He would respond by saying "Brian, don't they have an out-of-bounds line in the Bronx?" Coach had that little sarcasm. He wouldn't curse, he'd just say, "where do you think you are? You're at e.A. Laney high school?" Sometimes, in the schoolyard, when you're playing, Sometimes, in the schoolyard, when you're playing, you spin a pass, and I did that once, just taking it out, and he gave me one of those. "Mike, maybe in the schoolyard, at Jersey city you throw those passes, but not here." So, I never did that again. "2:31, you're going to be doing this drill, and then at 2:33, you're going to do this drill." It was all about commitment to the oneness. Michael Jordan or James worthy was no better than Chuck duckett, the manager of the team, or the towel boy, literally. You had to get broken down and learn the Carolina system from the ground up. Go, go, go, go! This guy's smiling, soft-spoken, you know, came to my house, sat down on my mama's couch. You know, we ate food. Sat down on my mama's couch. You know, we ate food. That first practice, I was like "who is this guy?" Dean Smith's journey to chapel hill began soon after north Carolina won its first college basketball national championship in 1957. That group of tar heels went through the season undefeated at 32-0 with a starting five made up entirely of yankee interlopers, new yorkers who had followed new yorkers who had followed the legendary coach frank mcguire from up north. And I was enamored with coach mcguire. I just thought the world revolved around him. He could walk in a room, you know, with a thousand people, and he would be the only person you noticed. He just had that special quality about him. Mcguire spent nine seasons at Carolina, but by 1961, he wore out his welcome when the tar heels were found guilty when the tar heels were found guilty of multiple ncaa violations. The man chosen to replace him was a little-known mcguire assistant, 30-year-old Dean Smith. Because of the basketball scandal, when Dean took over, we were limited to 16 games. We were limited to where we could recruit. So, instead of being able to recruit nationally, it was just strictly in the acc area. It was just strictly in the acc area. So, coach Smith was really handcuffed right from the beginning. The first few years of Dean Smith's career at north Carolina did not go well. Despite having several all-American players including Larry brown and Billy Cunningham, the tar heels were just an average team in the acc, and by the middle of his fourth season, some of the impatient fans were getting angry. Some of the impatient fans were getting angry. We came home on the bus from an away game at wake forest, 70 miles down the road. We pulled into the parking lot behind the gym. There were a number of students milling around, and I couldn't figure out what those students were doing. I was thinking "it's unlikely they're here to welcome us home. What are they doing?" Before I could react, the two Billys, Billy galantai and Billy Cunningham, bounded from their seat at the back of the bus, bounded from their seat at the back of the bus, off and into those students and tore something down, and that's when I realized they had hung coach Smith in effigy. Smith was shaken by the incident, but his team responded by winning 8 of the last 10 games to close 1965 at 15-9, the first of Dean Smith's 33 consecutive winning seasons. The first of Dean Smith's 33 consecutive winning seasons. Dean Smith was born in 1931 in emporia, Kansas, the son of strict but fair baptist parents, both of whom were educators. His father, Alfred, was also a coach and was instrumental in integrating high-school athletics in Kansas. In 1934, Paul Terry was a key piece in 1934, Paul Terry was a key piece of Alfred Smith's emporia high basketball team and the lone black player in the state. When the eastern Kansas athletic association pressured Smith to remove Terry from the team, he held his ground and refused. A few years later when the family moved to Topeka, Kansas, Dean himself was faced with social injustice and chose to follow his father's lead. And chose to follow his father's lead. They had separate basketball teams -- One for the African-American children, and one for the white children. One of the things about Dean Smith and his father were that they had a stubborn streak a mile wide, and they would not give up on a cause. Smith approached the school principal, and soon after, Topeka high had an integrated basketball team. But in his early years in north Carolina, but in his early years in north Carolina, Dean Smith found himself in the middle of a racial environment that was far less forgiving. A group of four students at north Carolina at state university in greensboro, they sat and were refused service. They decided to protest by continuing to sit there, and then that whole initiative grew to engage other students and then that whole initiative grew to engage other students until it became a massive demonstration. That generated activities across the south. The sentiment of the greensboro four eventually reached chapel hill, a city still struggling to lift its own shroud of segregation. Chapel hill was a Southern town. It was rigidly segregated. The hospital was segregated, public schools, of course, were segregated, restaurants were segregated -- The whole town. Most of the interest in wanting to try and change things came through the university. Either by the students or by progressive faculty members either by the students or by progressive faculty members who were coming in here from other areas. One of the most visible public faces of the university was its basketball coach, whose own sense of social consciousness grew at the small church he joined upon arriving in Carolina. I came to chapel hill in 1959 as the first pastor of a new baptist congregation that was founded on the university campus, and the day I arrived for the first sermon and the day I arrived for the first sermon who should join the church, but Dean Smith? The binkley baptist church was decidedly progressive in a part of the deeply conservative south that was still adjusting to the civil rights act of 1964. This civil rights act is a challenge to all of us to go to work in our communities and our states, in our homes and in our hearts, to eliminate the last vestiges of injustice. To eliminate the last vestiges of injustice. We had to put it to the test. Dean, myself, and a black student went to the pines restaurant, all-white and segregated. The door did not open immediately, but when they realized who it was, the door opened, we were served, and that was a milestone moment for this community. With Dean's help, some progress had been made, With Dean's help, some progress had been made, but at the state university of north Carolina, the basketball team was still all-white. Coach sent me to see Rick mount. He was going to be the first high-school athlete on the cover of sports illustrated. I saw him play and must've been 100 coaches there. You lined up, and you shook hands with everybody, and I think I was one of the few assistant coaches there at the time. P he gave me no time, so I went to a pay phone, called coach. P he gave me no time, so I went to a pay phone, called coach. He said "what did you think?" And I said "he's all right." He said "all right, Larry? He's the best player in the country. He's got to be better than all right." I said "coach, he was a fine player." He said, "Larry, get over it. If he didn't give you any love, don't worry about it." He said, "well, look -- There's a kid in laurinburg, north Carolina, that I think we have a responsibility to go see. You know, we don't want to lose an in-state player." I drove down to laurinburg. I watched Charles run up and down the court about three times. About three times. I ran to a pay phone. I said "coach, you got to get down here. This kid's better than Rick mount." Lo and behold, we drive up, and coach saw the same qualities I saw. Dean Smith had made up his mind. It was time to put the full-court press on racism. Coach Smith, the first thing he asked me was what did I want to be called, and I said "well, my mother named me Charles." That's what coach Smith always called me, "Charles." He never called me "Charlie," he always called me "Charles." And also something that he did and also something that he did a little different than everybody else was that he had me go out with the freshmen on the team, who would be guys that I would be playing with when I got to school there, and there was a friendliness there that I felt comfortable around. The real topper was that I visited Carolina, they had smokey Robinson and the miracles and the temptations, and I thought any school that had smokey Robinson and the miracles and the temptations was a school I can enjoy being at. The educational foundation, obviously, means a great deal to our basketball team, in particular. Means a great deal to our basketball team, in particular. Obviously, the scholarship money comes from this group of individuals, and we couldn't have fine players in the university without scholarships. In 1966, Smith used one of those scholarships on Charles Scott, the first African-American athlete to receive one at north Carolina. And, by his sophomore year, Scott was already a star. And, by his sophomore year, Scott was already a star. But, to Dean Smith, Charles was just another player. His relationship was one that I felt comfortable with as someone that would take care of me and mentor me. And not only that -- Never once did the conversation come up about me being black. Coach Smith never talked to me about color. One day, I was late for practice. One day, I was late for practice. He told me to go run the stairs. So, I was running the stairs, and I was running the stairs, and, about 25 minutes, I was still running the stairs. I had to ask him - - I said, "coach Smith, did you see me?" He said, "oh, I forgot you were running the stairs," and I said, "how could you forget the only black guy you got on your team? Didn't you not know that one black spot wasn't on the court anymore?" With Scott and other all-Americans, like Larry Miller, north Carolina was in the middle of three straight final four appearances. In the middle of three straight final four appearances. As for Smith, he was entering a three-decade period of sustained excellence where his unique, homespun basketball innovations were on full display. Somebody made a basket, it was his responsibility to point to the guy who made the pass at him. His approach was "the guy that makes the pass is just as important, if not more important, than the guy that makes the bucket." Not only were we encouraged, it was a requirement. I think some guys now do it just to be cool in the nba, but, man, that was a must. Some players went so far as to thank the guy who made the pass to them who made the pass to the guy who got the bucket. To them who made the pass to the guy who got the bucket. He used basketball to teach us the importance of saying "thank you." Unselfish and playing hard are 1 and 1, and if you're tired, you can't play hard. If you gave the "tired" signal, which is basically a fist in the air, he would substitute for you. And when you go to the bench, when you're ready, and when you go to the bench, when you're ready, you say "coach, I'm ready," and you put yourself back in the game. But if he took you out, and you didn't give the "tired" signal, because he didn't think you were playing hard, It may be a while before you got back in the game. The other thing I thought, and this is a little thing coach Smith had, one of your teammates then comes out of the game, you stand up, and you clap for him. You stand up, and you clap for him. And number 40, Bruce Buckley, steps in for Mike o'koren. You stand up, you give your teammate a standing ovation. Come on, who thinks of stuff like that? He did. Without question, Dean Smith's most identifiable innovation was the four-corners offense. Although he wasn't its originator, Smith was its most visible proponent. When he felt his team was overmatched, Dean would often call for the four corners Dean would often call for the four corners at the start of the game. It was designed to keep the ball out of the other team's hands. And, in an era without a shot clock, that would sometimes feel like an eternity. Throw! Duke decided not to come out and play us. They stayed back in the three-second area, bunched in a zone, and defied us to come and play. So, large portions of the game, one guy was standing there near the half-court line with the ball under his arm near the half-court line with the ball under his arm for minutes at a time. And people were throwing things, Yelling and screaming and so forth. After Duke's 21-20 win in the 1966 acc tournament, Smith's offense was ridiculed. But that didn't stop him from using it -- Even if his players hated it. The score at half time is 7-0. Not football, this is north Carolina basketball versus Duke basketball. The score is 7-0 at half time. The score is 7-0 at half time. You could look it up. After the game, reporters come in. "Mike, what about the first half, the stall?" "Quite frankly, I didn't want to stall, he did!" Pointing to coach Smith. I get a call. It's a Sunday. I get a call. "Coach Smith wants to see you in the office." "Oh, shoot." So, I go in, and he sits me down. So, I go in, and he sits me down. He says, "Mike, you know, we feel like we have a very successful program here at north Carolina, and we win a lot of games, and we feel we do it the right way." He says, "listen -- I'll do the coaching, you do the playing." "Yes, sir, coach." Walked out of there. Next day at practice, I had to put the weighted vest on and go up and down the Carmichael auditorium stairs pretty much the whole practice. He got his point across. While the four corners was often brutally boring, While the four corners was often brutally boring, it could also be artful and effective. Especially in the hands of Phil Ford, north Carolina's legendary point guard. In order for the four corners to work, you had to have five very good ball-handlers on the court, because everybody had to handle the ball at one point in time. The defense, at some point, says, "well, we can't just sit back. We have to go pressure," we have to go pressure," and then, when they would pressure Phil Ford, we would have a bunch of different options to score, whether it was guys going back-door or ball going into a corner or Phil Ford, who can blow past anybody at any point he wanted. A lot of times, the other team, out of frustration, would come down and take a quick shot, and we'd come down and do the same thing. Before you know it, it was a snowball effect, and we were up 8 or 9 points, and that was usually the game. And we were up 8 or 9 points, and that was usually the game. When Smith had the right pieces, his Carolina teams ran the four corners to perfection and rarely gave up the lead. Oh, Carolina goes to the four corners, they're in their famous four-corner offense, a man in each corner. As long as it meant their heels were winning, Carolina fans tolerated the snail-like pace of the four corners. But just about everyone else thought it had no place in the game. Thought it had no place in the game. The best way that you can say that it was great is because the other team hated it so badly. It droves coaches crazy. I mean, especially "lefty" driesell. Lefty could not stand it. He'd start cussing the four corners a week before he played Carolina. But the more he did it, the more coach fired it at him. When the shot clock was introduced in the mid-80s, the four corners went the way of the set shot. But, before it became obsolete, Smith used it to his full advantage. Smith used it to his full advantage. The heels followed their three consecutive trips to the final four in the late '60s, with two more in the '70s and another in 1981. But they all ended the same way no national championships. After two decades as a head coach, Dean Smith had an impeccable reputation Dean Smith had an impeccable reputation as a teacher and a leader, but his inability to win the big one, especially in years when his teams were filled with future nba stars, made him an easy target with the national media. I'm sure, in his quiet moments, if you're a human being, and your job is to try to do something, and you haven't achieved that yet, yeah, of course, and you haven't achieved that yet, yeah, of course, but he never allowed us to see it. If you lost a game, coach Smith took the blame. If you won a game, he said, "I had great players. I couldn't have done it without my players." By the early 1980s, Smith's teams were again loaded with talent, especially 1982 with James worthy, the centerpiece of a legendary team-in-the-making. Sam Perkins was a sophomore, Matt Doherty, a sophomore, Sam Perkins was a sophomore, Matt Doherty, a sophomore, Jimmy black was our senior leader point guard, and then, we added this young freshman from Wilmington, north Carolina, about 165 pounds, this kid named, uh... I-I forget, sometimes. I think his name was Michael Jordan. First time I saw Michael, I was like, first time I saw Michael, I was like, "this guy is so confident... That it's scary." I was the best guy on the team at the time. He sought me out and started to like, in a friendly way, like, bully me. That playful arrogance might've worked on his teammates, but Jordan soon learned that impressing his coach would not be as easy. Uh, you never really get comfortable uh, you never really get comfortable where you felt like -- Coach made sure that you didn't feel like, you know, you belonged. He always wanted that hunger to always be out there. He made sure you understood where you were. Even though you're a highly recruited guy, you're the lowest on the totem pole. That means you carry balls, you go get water, you carry film projectors -- It doesn't matter. So, I was the film-projector carrier. So, you're in a suit, you're on the road -- whatever. You're carrying that projector. You're carrying that projector. Before the 1982 season, it was clear to everyone that Michael Jordan was headed for the starting lineup -- Even sports illustrated. "Please let us put Michael on the cover with the other four guys." "Not gonna do it. Not gonna have a freshman on the cover and, after all, you're not gonna name my starting lineup." I think it bugged Michael a little bit. I mean, I understood it. I understand it more now. I was a little disappointed then. I was a little disappointed then. Even though I knew he knew it was me. He felt like I didn't deserve to be on there because I hadn't played the game yet. Coach? Well, that's something that he felt very passionate about is that you earn your right. Jordan was missing from the cover of s.I.'S college basketball preview. But he was in the starting lineup, and with him, north Carolina won its first 13 games, rising to the ♪1 ranking in the country. Rising to the ♪1 ranking in the country. My teammates gave me, you know, open shots and picking for me and giving me good passes. The heels finished the season at 27-2, won the acc tournament, and eventually found themselves in another final four, where James worthy put on a remarkable show against Houston in the national semifinal. Coach Smith always gave you the green light -- Coach Smith always gave you the green light -- If you saw it, take it. And I saw a Lane, and I took it. It was a monster dunk that kind of set the tone. I threw it down pretty good. I elevated, kept elevating, and twisted in the air. Even for me, that was pretty damn awesome. The final against Georgetown and Smith's old friend John Thompson produced an epic battle. Three times before, Dean had been on the brink three times before, Dean had been on the brink of an ncaa title, and this time, despite a 28-point performance from worthy, he was still in danger of losing his fourth championship game. 32 seconds to go. A 1-point lead for Georgetown. Coach says "okay, we're exactly where we want to be. We're in great shape." And, to be honest with you, I sort of. Coughed a little bit so I could turn my head 'cause I wanted to check the score, 'cause I wanted to check the score, to make sure I hadn't made a mistake. But he said it two or three times -- "we're going to decide who wins this game." I looked at our guys, and everybody's got a little taller, and everybody's got a different look on their face, and as we're going out of the huddle, he patted Michael on the rear end and said, "if you get a shot, Michael, knock it down." Coach used to always say this -- "I prepared you for this. Now, just go out and have fun and let it happen." In all honesty, I just went out and let it happen. In all honesty, I just went out and let it happen. You know, he told me I would have an opportunity to shoot the ball. When it rotated back to me, with no hesitation, I just let it go. The time, 18. Shot - - Jordan! Michael Jordan! Look for a "sleepy" Floyd. Oh, he threw it to the wrong man! He threw it to worthy! It's over! It's over! North Carolina has won the 1982 ncaa championship. North Carolina has won the 1982 ncaa championship. We win the national championship. You know, everybody's running around, hugging everybody, and I hugged coach Smith, and I said, "I'm just so happy for you, just to shut those people up," and he made a statement that I've never forgotten. He said "you know, I'm not really that much a better coach than I was 2.5 hours ago." Someone who deserved something so much finally got what he deserved. There was no doubt that with or without the championship, he was a great coach, but you need to have those accolades to go along with it. For Dean Smith, it was a championship 21 years in the making. For legendary north Carolina photographer Hugh Morton, it only took an instant to make one memorable photograph. Coach Smith is leaning up against the wall. Coach Smith is leaning up against the wall. He may be having a cigarette. I'm there with my head down 'cause I'm trying to find breath. I don't have anything left. And Jimmy black is exhausted from crying. He's just sitting there. I have a picture of that scene in my at-home office, and I had a friend, and he said, "what in the world have you got a picture of Carolina losing up here?" I said, "what are you talking about?" I said "hey! That's after they won the national championship in '82." He said, "you've got to be kidding. I said, "that picture's a great reflection I said, "that picture's a great reflection of what that game takes out of you." After hitting the championship- winning shot as a freshman, Michael Jordan might've expected an easier ride in his remaining years in chapel hill. Jordan did his part. He was a first-team all-American as a sophomore and again as a junior, as well as the national player of the year. As well as the national player of the year. But, when Carolina fell short of the final four, critics called out Dean Smith for not allowing his star player to reach his fill potential. I think that's b.S. Coach was probably the biggest advocate of my professional career and the biggest reason why my professional career turned out to be the way it is. I went to the university of north Carolina I went to the university of north Carolina with strictly athleticism. No knowledge of how to play the game. Now, if you want to say he held me back because I averaged 30 points in the pros, that was a teaching process for me, you know, and I took it as that, and I learned a lot under his tutelage. It made me so much better as a professional basketball player that every time someone says that, they have no understanding for the education, they have no understanding for the education, for what he taught all his players. When the time came for Jordan to leave Carolina after his junior year, he sought and received Dean Smith's full blessing and encouragement. He was doing what he thought was in the best interest of the player, and how many coaches would've told one of their best players. "I think you ought to go"? He sat me and my family down and says, you know, "I only would recommend a guy to go to the pros if he goes in the top-5 picks. If he goes in the top-5 picks. He's already done his due diligence." When he said he thought he was one of the best Carolina players ever, you know, that told me a lot. It turned out great for Chicago, it turned out great for me, and it obviously turned out great for Michael. One final lesson that Smith taught Jordan was the value of an education. He insisted Michael come back to Carolina to get his degree, and he did so in a way that benefited both Jordan and his family. That benefited both Jordan and his family. Living up to the promise that he made to my mom when I first got there, that I was going to graduate. So, he built it in my Chicago Bulls contract that if I went back and graduated, I would earn a certain amount of money, and that was motivating for me to go back, but at the same time, it was one of those situations that he would appease my parents. When it became common for players to leave school early for the nba, Dean Smith would often advocate on their behalf. Dean Smith would often advocate on their behalf. We congratulate Jerry on a tremendous chance to achieve a goal he's had since he was very young, and that's to be a professional basketball player. He would, however, urge them to return to chapel hill for their degree. Through the years, almost 97% of Smith's players graduated, so many were shocked to hear his name in a 2014 news story. So many were shocked to hear his name in a 2014 news story. The university of north Carolina at chapel hill is reeling from a scandal involving athletes taking bogus classes and receiving inflated grades for almost two decades. The classes were in the African- and afro-American-studies department. Carolina itself conducted an investigation, led by former federal prosecutor Kenneth wainstein, that exposed an unprecedented case of academic fraud. ...the student were to get that grade, ...the student were to get that grade, and the grading would be done pretty much without regard to the quality of the paper. It was determined that nearly 1,500 athletes at north Carolina were given credit for nonexistent classes as part of an organized scheme to keep them sports-eligible. Although the period in question started in 1993 and did overlap with Smith's last four years as Carolina's coach, the report found no evidence that Dean was aware of any wrongdoing. That Dean was aware of any wrongdoing. I'd like to think that he would be appalled to read the wainstein report because it doesn't comport with all these other things that we saw. I think he always wanted his players to attack a challenge, whether it's academic or athletic, and not find some shortcut. He believed in rigor and rules. We had to go to class, and we had to perform our best that we could in class, as well. Back then, we didn't have private planes, back then, we didn't have private planes, we flew commercial. When we would play 8:00, 9:00 games, we would wake up at 4:00 in the morning and take the first commercial flight back home so we can get back to chapel hill to make our classes. And all the coaching staff would check our classes. I mean, that was important to him. For most of his first 25 years in the acc, Dean Smith held court as the top coach in the conference, Dean Smith held court as the top coach in the conference, but with that lofty status came a guarded personality that some of his fellow coaches perceived as arrogance. Jimmy would mess around a little bit in a nice way at a meeting 'cause Dean would always time it where he'd be the last person. And at one of our acc meetings, Jimmy told me and Bobby cremins, he says, "let's hide. Let's go in the bathroom. We'll watch as he comes down the hall, let him go in first, then we'll come in." Let him go in first, then we'll come in." So, stuff like that, to be mess around and, to be quite frank with you, I didn't understand his level. It's lonely. "Why are you a little bit aloof?" Well, when you walk in the room, and you're the best guy, you have the best program, probably, most of the people in that room are not going to like you. Everyone in the room wanted to beat him more so than one another. So, I'm encouraged. By the mid-1980s, that was especially true of one coach, By the mid-1980s, that was especially true of one coach, just a few miles down tobacco road - - Duke's Mike krzyzewski. They both lorded over their programs, in their ways. I mean, if you think of it in political or ideological terms, Dean Smith was the Roosevelt new-deal liberal. He believed in setting up this big bureaucracy that people submitted their individuality to and then the whole team benefited. Whereas krzyzewski was much more the kind of sun belt republican. Whereas krzyzewski was much more the kind of sun belt republican. He knew we were different. I think a lot of other people tried to be like them, and they used Dean as the barometer of who they were going to be, and I didn't want to be them. I wanted to be us, but I wanted to be us at that level. The first time coach k openly challenged Smith was in January of 1984, when the top-ranked heels came to durham. He was mad because they wouldn't get his substitutes in the game. He was mad because they wouldn't get his substitutes in the game. He'd send a sub up, and they wouldn't blow the horn to get him in. So, he goes up there -- They're in a close game -- He goes up there and pounds on the scorers' table. And it was our scorers' table, so that made me angry. And nothing happened. There was no technical foul, so I was angry and I just said, right after the game, I said "look, you know, it's a double standard." "There's a double standard in this league -- One for Carolina, and one for the rest of us." That burned coach up. That burned coach up. Five years later, in 1989, the personal animosity between the two coaches reached new heights when Smith became incensed after spotting one of the Cameron crazies with an inflammatory sign. The "Jr can't Reid" thing -- It really wasn't that big of a deal to me. I mean, I heard about the Duke crazies and how talented and funny they were, so, you know, for me, I was kind of let down, that was the best that they had for me. I'm like "man, I must not be any good. I'm like "man, I must not be any good. They didn't even work hard, you know, to get something funny to say about me." But coach Smith took it a different way and, of course, he mentioned that he thought it was a lot to do, you know, with race. Initially, Smith lashed out against the Duke fans for stepping over the line. Then, he threw fuel on the fire by defending Reid and his teammate Scott Williams, openly pointing out that the s.A.T. Scores of his two black players were higher than those of Duke's white stars were higher than those of Duke's white stars Christian laettner and Danny ferry. Smith's point might've been well-intentioned, but it led to one of the most intense games in the history of the rivalry, a 1989 acc tournament final. They were hollering back and forth at each other. Krzyzewski would say, "quit coaching my players!" And coach would say, "somebody ought to coach them. You're not doing it." Never any separation between the two. It was absolutely brutal. It was absolutely brutal. I don't want to say hatred, but it was competitiveness at the highest level, maybe over the brink a little bit for both squads. Laettner is grabbed and thrown. A lot of stoppages, a lot of fouls. And Scott Williams is down for the third time. I don't know if they waived the three-knockdown rule. A lot of jabs thrown and who was going to be around in the late rounds to throw the knockout punch. Reid. Reid again. Final. Final. Reid scores and then yells at ferry. Really challenged and taunt at ferry. We were all scratched up, beat up, all of us looked like we had been in a street fight. North Carolina celebrates. 77-74. Carolina, first time since '82, has won the acc tournament. That was the best part, you know? We got to hoist him up there, and of course he didn't want us to put him up. It's like "yeah, coach, we're getting you up here." For Smith and Carolina, the satisfaction of beating Duke in '89 didn't last long. The blue devils went on to win consecutive ncaa championships in 1991 and 1992, and for the first time in the history of the heated rivalry, the balance of power shifted. Everybody was talking about Christian laettner and Bobby Hurley and Grant hill and Bobby Hurley and Grant hill and Duke hanging two banners was just enough motivation for us. We'd come into our locker room, and in everyone's locker, taped into the mirror, was the image of the Louisiana superdome, and it had "1993 ncaa champions -- the university of north Carolina." I never had the guts to ask him about it, but it had coach Smith written all over it. Carolina responded to Smith's ploy, winning 34 games and eventually reaching the ncaa championship final the ncaa championship final against the fab five of Michigan. There's that passing lob. Trailing late in the second half of the game, his team once led by 10 points. Smith stuck to his coaching principles and trusted his players. Coach Smith gets four "tired" signals. All of a sudden, he starts sending in people. He's got four substitutes in there and Billy packer's ripping him on television. Dean Smith went to the bench again. You have Williams, who's been his top scorer, you have Williams, who's been his top scorer, and Reese on the bench. "Coach, what are you doing? !" A lot of people in the stands, they were raising their eyebrows. Oh, my gosh, George lynch is going out. Derrick Phelps is taking a break. It caught a lot of people's attention because it was the national championship game. But, in fact, that would've been a departure from what we had done all year long. Kicked out to montross. That was lynch. They got the break. Carolina can take the lead. Smith's calculated risk worked, and his well-rested team took a 2-point lead with 20 seconds to play. Took a 2-point lead with 20 seconds to play. The referee missed it. Webber brings it into the front court. There are no time outs remaining. Too many time outs. That's a technical foul. He called a timeout, and Michigan doesn't have any. ...north Carolina is the 1993 national champion. On the same superdome court where Smith won his first and only title 11 years earlier, where Smith won his first and only title 11 years earlier, once again, it was an opponent's mistake that defined the final play. But luck really had little to do with it. Every situation that happened to us that year, he prepared us for. There was not one thing that we didn't cover. Donald Williams called a timeout in practice, and he put us on the end line and made us run for Donald Williams calling a timeout. ...on defense that you might learn something from. ...on defense that you might learn something from. Get him! Get him! No one, not even the coaching staff -- Bill guthridge, Phil Ford -- Would stand up on that bench and call a timeout without coach Smith giving them the go-ahead. So, for our season to end like it did with Michigan, you know, we can look back and say, "I remember that day in November Donald called a timeout." It's an unusual friendship. I know people would not think that we became really good friends, but we did. I love Dean Smith, you know? I respect him as much as anybody that I've been around in coaching, and I understand him. A lot of the things that we've gone through -- The sustained excellence and the expectations -- Are very, very similar. It's like brothers in arms. One thing coach k and coach Smith. One thing coach k and coach Smith certainly had in common was winning. By the time he reached his 36th year at Carolina, Dean Smith had amassed enough victories to make history and pass adolph rupp -- At the time, the winningest coach in the long history of college basketball. But the glare of the spotlight wasn't for him. He thought it took away from the players, it took away from the program, it put him in a spotlight that he didn't want to be in. It was never his goal to break rupp's record. He probably didn't know what rupp's record was. He probably didn't know what rupp's record was. He was not comfortable with it at all and he told me at one time he may quit the day before, and I said, "you cannot do that. We're going to hogtie you. You cannot do that." There was almost a conspiracy of his former players, who got together and who said, "look, whatever it takes, we're not going to let him retire before he breaks the record." Dean Smith is the winningest coach in the history of college basketball, in the history of college basketball, 877 career victories. They start chanting his name, "Dean! Dean! Dean!" And he sprints like a track star to get off that court. He genuinely did not think he had done anything. And I'm telling you -- He meant it. Coach, we want to give you a present from past, present, and us -- A present from past, present, and us -- A Jersey with 877 wins. Well, aren't you nice. I've never been this surprised. Thank you. I might even try that on. But more important for us, we'd like to get number 27 up in Syracuse. That's exactly what I told them today. Thank you. Thank you. Smith won 2 more games in 1997 to reach his 11th final four. But an unexpected loss to Arizona but an unexpected loss to Arizona in the national semifinal would bring an abrupt end to his 36th season. When his team regrouped for the following season, Dean welcomed them back with a surprise announcement. I remember, clear as day. I mean, we getting ready for the season. Coach said "well, I want you guys to come back to the Smith center." You know, we expecting we gonna talk about you know, we expecting we gonna talk about the up and coming season. As soon as you walk in, something is different. I have decided to resign as head basketball coach of the university of north Carolina. If I can't give this team that enthusiasm, I said I would get out, and that's honestly how I feel. I said I would get out, and that's honestly how I feel. What loyalty I've had from my players over there. They're really special. That's all. I am concerned, as they are... Early in his retirement, Dean Smith stayed in the public eye, continuing to speak his mind on multiple political and social issues. On multiple political and social issues. Most famously, he strongly opposed the death penalty in the state of north Carolina, a stance he had nurtured during his days as a coach. Coach told us that we were going to go practice in front of the inmates, and I remember going through the gates and the buzzers and the -- Doors locking and clanking and the alarms and the whole thing, and you pass through security and you go into the gym and the inmates are right there. And the inmates are right there. We watched coach Smith go into all different types of cells where prisoners were on death row, and he would just walk right in there and sit down and talk with them. During one of those visits, Smith met, and later spoke out for, a north Carolina death-row inmate. It was a position that put Dean in direct conflict with the governor of the state. We're told that coach Smith was friends. We're told that coach Smith was friends with the men scheduled to be executed. While most of the people who attended these meetings were pastors, coach Smith kindly agreed to join us. So it's time to say our piece, and starting us out, coach Smith points to the governor and says, "governor, you're a murderer. And I'm a murderer, too. And I'm a murderer, too. The death penalty makes us all murderers, governor." And governor hunt clearly took it in, took it to heart. Now, the man was executed. But the governor did Grant clemency to two people the next year, and I do believe that coach Dean Smith helped effect change in the direction away from the death penalty in our state. All the players who have gone through that system all felt more comfortable about every decision by checking back with coach. "Coach, what do you think about this?" It was never really a sealed deal without coach Smith giving his advice. The bond with him is stronger, after we played basketball, than when we were basketball players, because that's where he's been most helpful to all of us, is making that transition into life. Is making that transition into life. Some people, when you need help, you call up and say, "can you please help me?" But with coach Smith, he would call you and ask you if you needed help. Got lots of people coaching jobs, but, if you were out of a job as a salesman, he would find something for you, and he would work long hours to do it. And I know players who came back in their 60s and spent hours in his office with the door shut, and spent hours in his office with the door shut, pouring out some serious personal or health problem. He said, "if there's a problem, let's do something about it now." It wasn't like "you do something about it," he said "let's," I-e-t-'-s, like it was me and him together. I don't know too many coaches who put forth the effort, 10 years after you left school, who are calling your mom and dad randomly, just checking to see how they're doing, if they needed anything, making sure your younger brother's on pace to graduate from college. After basketball, he wasn't just "coach Smith," after basketball, he wasn't just "coach Smith," you know, he was more than that. His sincerity was infinite. He would do anything for you. He created a tradition of sending you the media book. And he would include a form letter, very warm. Written by him personally, but typed, form letter. Written by him personally, but typed, form letter. But at the bottom, he always left 4 or 5 inches to write a personal note to you. "Mike, make sure you work on late-game situations." You know, when I was coaching in the league. "Please tell your mom I said hello. I'll reach out to her soon." You know, something like that, it's be down there. And "Dean", he'd put the d-e-a-n. When he wrote the note, he took a minute or two to think of something personal. He took a minute or two to think of something personal. Once you're a part of this family, you know, you're a part of this family beyond the four years you're there. You're always a part of the family. His successes go far beyond x's and o's. Even as he won 78% of his games, he graduated 96% of his players. In November of 2013, Dean Smith was awarded the presidential medal of freedom, Dean Smith was awarded the presidential medal of freedom, the nation's highest civilian honor. In an era of deep division, he taught players to overcome bigotry with courage and compassion. Dean Smith could not attend. His wife, linnea, accepted the award in his honor. In the summer of 2010, it had been revealed that Dean was suffering from a neurocognitive disorder that affected his memory. From a neurocognitive disorder that affected his memory. In a public letter, the Smith family wrote that Dean "may not immediately recall the name of every former player from his many years of coaching, but that does not diminish what those players meant to him or how much he cares about them." Here's a guy who has lived through, Here's a guy who has lived through, really, basketball history. I mean, he started playing for "phog" Allen, who learned the game from James naismith at Kansas, and then coaches Michael Jordan. I mean, he's kind of the guy who connects old basketball with modern basketball and had such a recall of all that. It sort of defined the essence of the man. And that at the end of his life, it leaves him. Dean Smith passed away on February 8, 2015. Dean Smith passed away on February 8, 2015. Tributes poured in from all over the country, from friends and rivals. And, on February 22nd, the Dean dome was filled in his honor one final time, at a memorial service to remember north Carolina's beloved coach. Thank you. Thank you for what you did for Carolina. Thank you for what you did for college basketball. You showed us how to live. You showed us how to be engaged. You showed us how to be engaged. You set an example to show people how, through determination, to never give up, to never quit, to keep pushing forward. Look at Dean Smith. What composure. This man is very much in control of himself, his team. Gets the 20. Has a little discussion with his guys. It has been a program to be envied. Dean's trying to say, "attention! He's trying to kill the guy! It should be a 2-hot foul! He's mugging him!" Push it up. That's the shot Williams loves. Push it up. That's the shot Williams loves. And he puts the tar heels ahead by one. What is the impact that coach Smith has had on us? There's not one or two things, it's our life. There's not one thing in my life that I don't filter through what coach Smith would do and what he did. - Was he a great humanitarian? - Was he a great mentor? Was he someone who I loved dearly? Was he someone who I loved dearly? Was it someone who, I carry today, many of the lessons when I try and instill it in my children or young people that I mentor? All of that. His impact was so far-reaching. Coach Smith, to me, is always coach Smith, so, um... I know how fortunate I am. I know how lucky I am. I've had 50 wonderful years of a relationship with a man I've had 50 wonderful years of a relationship with a man that I have nothing but love and admiration for. In the 5000 crore-worth fake title-deed scam case at Chennai beach road, ...distributor Ravi was arrested day before yesterday. As he tried to escape en-route Puzhal prison to court, the police shot him dead. My son would not have attempted to escape He has been framed and ecnountered to save some big shots Hello. Can I get a smaller piece? Please wait, let me check Is he dull-witted or what? He has taken a toy gun, that too out of cover How much is this? How much? Madam, can I help you? Oh, I am sorry. I assumed you were a sales boy. -You can take it. -Please No problem, you could have it. -Please you could have it. You have it. -You could have it. -You took it first. Excuse me. There are two copies, you both could have the same. The bill counter is at the left corner. You could pay the bill there Your's sir. - Thank you. - Yours madam. Do they assume to be Vijay and Shalini? I am Haridas. The best house broker in South India. Please contact me to buy and sell house and house plots. If you want Idli with Chutney approach me. You can't even spell fast-food, and you claim to be an owner. You dare to advertise your Idli and chutney. Better run away... -What a stink! -I didn't do anything He has opened the idli cooker I will become a spirit if I consume this vapour -Why isn't the Poori fresh? -How many day would it stay fresh? -Not made today? Nothing is made today Didn't you see the board outside? PAST food. - Give me pongal? - What you guys want for pongal? For pongal give us trousers and shirt, some pocket money. I asked what you need as side dish? As if you have eight-variety dishes? Give me that same damn chutney. Enough. Do you want vada? You mean firebrand? OK Hey why is a thread coming out of it? -Got torn. I only stitched it together. - You stitched it? Yes Where is the chef? It's one week since he left for hometown. Then what about this vada? Well, he made it before leaving. Oh! Damn you all. Why did you leave the table? - I want to live a little longer. - He is Das. - OK thanks. - Well I have a client approaching in the morning itself. Yes I am Das. Haridas. - The best house broker in South India. -What can I do for you? -I am Karthik. -So what? - I am a lawyer and I need a house for rent. A lawyer? - You look too timid. Can you raise your voice? - Yes, I can. It's very difficult to find a house for a lawyer. House owners fear you would sue them. - Since you approached me, I'll try. You have a bike? - Yes - Can you take me on it? - Do you ride well? - Yes -Then get your bike. Too tall. Only Anushka can ride on this. It is this house on the left. Stop. My back aches. -This is the 11th house I am showing you. Please somehow arrange this house for me. I should say that. If you don't like this then I must arrange a film set at AVM. - OK The house owner is sharp. Keep your voice down. This is the best house in the area. The house owner has let you use the plants, old newspaper, bucket and everything. We can fix this if it satisfies you. The rooms are all very spacious. But I don't need such big rooms. How much is the rent? 20,000 as rent and an advance of 10 months. Oh! I can't afford 20,000. Ask if he can reduce the rent. - No its impossible. - I told you already that he is sharp. He can hear our conversation from ground floor itself. Control yourself you flirt! Who is she? She is the milk vendor. If a house is available for rent, many would hop in to check. - Hey Paramasivam, is she yours? - I don't deserve her man. With such a rotten face you need a charming girl like her? - I asked if she is your client? - Yes - She is looking for office space. - Do you like it? -Yes, I do. - I am impressed too. - I am very impressed. How about the rent? - I am very impressed too. Why does he grope me for that? I need this office. How much is the rent? 20,000 as rent, and an advance amount for 10 months. - 20000? - Yes madam. - I can't afford that and I don't need such a big space.. Don't miss the house gawking at this girl, Karthik! Ask! - Sir, I saw and confirmed the deal first. Isn't it? - Please fix it for me. - Let me speak with the loud mouth. - Sir fix it for me immediately. - I shall do it madam. - Das, you know me well right? - Yes, I do. But they say the house is too big. Can I make it smaller? If it is too big, check whether they could share it.Let them share the rent. - OK - What happened? - The big mouth won't reduce the rent, it seems. Since the girl too feels the house is too big, you both could share the rent. Is she OK with it? Paramasivam is checking that. If it is OK with her, would you agree? - I agree, but she musn't not be lawyer. - She won't be lawyer, don't worry man. If he agrees, I don't mind. - Hey, Paramasivam, my client has agreed. - Madam has agreed too. - Then give 1 lakh as advance. Why does he give expression as if it is a register marriage? Would he ask for a garland too? - I'll take that room. - OK, I'll take the other one. - Hey Paramasivam, are you riding the pillion? - yes. - The hot seat might blister your piles. - As if he is my doctor, go to hell. -You would be watching her all the time from tomorrow onwards. Start the bike - Her dress is lovely, isn't it? - Shall I borrow it for you to wear? - If both of us are in the same profession, it would be a hassle. Let's avoid that. - I don't think so madam. Lawyers won't even get office space, then how would they get house? - Hey fast-food, tea for both of us. - I want milk. If you drink this tea, you won't live to drink milk tomorrow. -How much is your commission? - Why? Don't you know it is 10,000? - OK, find out that girl's profession. - Alright. - What? - What is that girl's profession? - Lawyer Seems like I am gonna lose the money! She is a software engineer, it seems. Your accent is wrong. It is software engineer Yes you got it. I must change my house now. Check out his profession. - What now? - What is that guy's job? Lawyer - Manager in some marketing sector, it seems. - OK for me, then . How long would you count the cash? Give it. Now that you have successfully clinched your deal, won't you give me a treat? - Treat? You want sambar rice from Saravana Bhavan? - No. I want booze. Booze? Take off your hand. I get you house, a girl for company, and now you want booze... What do you think of me? You look like my boyhood friend who ran away. Get on to the bike dude. Hey dude, this place is so colorful. Who are these muscleman? These are bouncers. Then what about him? - I am their boss. - What? He looks like a baby lizard! Let's run away before he spits. Order please. A light beer for me. Sir, what about you? First, get me two large, one lime cordial and some ice cubes. Quick. - Will that fill you enough dude? - I shall order more later. - Sir, side dish? -Get me scrambled egg, salted green peas, 75 gm mixture, a pack of Ravi's pickle - Sorry sir. Ravi's pickle is not available in such a big bar? I can't believe it! It's such a shame! - Grilled chicken, Tandoori chicken, Chilly chicken - OK sir. -You shall order the rest later right? -You are absolutely right, dude. You greedy monster! What if he comes to know that the girl is a lawyer? You must be lucky that a beautiful girl resides with you. Then why should you bother about her job? -What are your blabbering man? -Oh no, he scolds me. - You can not face competition at your house? Just because she looks good we can't take such decisions. - If only she is an advocate... - No, she is a software engineer. He is going to puke over me after eating all this. Look how he tears off the chicken leg! - Have you got my phone number? - It is good that you reminded me. I can't harm myself more than this. I should change my number immediately. First.. - Hey listen, first comes only once. - May be he is utilizing me to taste all these different drinks. - Hi dude - dude? Why should we maintain decorum after we are drunk? You are always a dude. Can I ask you a question? Please ask. If you paying for your drinks how much would you drink? - I never buy my drinks. - Why? If you buy your own drinks then you'll wipe out all your savings on booze. - But if some one like you buy me drinks, I shall oblige. - Me, you mean? Buying willingly? - Boy - Hey don't come. - Hey muscled men, bring me some roasted peanuts. - Sorry that is not our job Then what else is your job, you pig-headed wastrels? - If you stand folding hands, does that make you Arnold? - Please hold your tongue. - What is the use of drinking half a bottle of beer if you can't squabble? I know monkey kung fu. - Please sit down. - Will you bring or not? - Sit I say - I sit only to honor your request. Sir, your bill. Sir, kindly take. Well how much have they charged? How could you charge 5000? - Sorry sir, this bill belongs to the next table. - You saved my life, man - How could you charge 10,000? - Yes sir, this is your bill. If I had known earlier I would have sat at the nearby table? Is this a bar or some place of extortion? How can you charge 10,000 for a single bottle of beer? - Don't you have money? - All I have is 10,000 And by the way, After knowing all this my mother won't relent to our marriage. Have you to spend your life with me or with my brothers? Although the marriage is with you, The relation will be with all. Isn't it? Sheen, I am willing to break away every relationship for your sake. Faiz, you cannot do this even if you wish to. Because blood relations never break. Good bye! Sheen! Sheen! - Shadab! - Yes! - Are you going somewhere? - Yes. Son, I want to talk something important with you. Yes, tell me! I was having a talk with your father regarding your marriage. What have you to tell? Mother, this is a matter of the house. I shall accept whatever you and father decide. This is your generosity! Yet we feel we should know your views. We wish to talk about your proposal with Sheen. Do you like Sheen? Mother, you know that I don't like interference in my work.-Yes. So, how can I interfere in matters between you and father? I am okay with whatever your decision might be. - Bye! - Be happy! If we could ask sheen, just once. Sheen likes India very much! She tells people in Karachi that we are half Indians. So let the marriage happen! She will become a complete Indian. Brother, India and Pakistan's relations are so sensitive. It can go bad anytime. And... Let the marriage happen in this country. The remaining we shall do it there. Brother, you have handled such a big responsibility of mine. Okay! It's okay Ameena. Now we are free. Hey Faiz! Hey Faiz! Sweets are being distributed in the locality. Her marriage has been finalized. With her cousin brother Shadab. "Listen, Oh, the one breaking my heart". "Listen, Oh, the one breaking my heart". "I am still in love with you". "Listen, Oh, the one breaking my heart". "I am still in love with you". "So what if you don't need me now". "So what if you don't need me now". "I still need you". "Listen, Oh, the one breaking my heart". "I am still in love with you". "Since the day you have separated, my world has shattered". "That, you are annoyed with me, seems like the worlds is annoyed". "Come and look through my eyes, even today the nights have complaints". "Listen, Oh, the one breaking my heart". "I am still in love with you". "Your memories trouble me, I am lonely far and wide". "I am that helpless moment with whom even time is annoyed". "With the lines on my palms, Even today, destiny revolts". "Listen, Oh, the one breaking my heart". "I am still in love with you". Uncle! Uncle! - Greetings! - Greetings! Faiz, what happened? Be seated! This is my very dear brother. I love him very much. I had sent him there for studies. What kind of studies is he doing that, he has become like this? Brother, there is someone whom Faiz loves. - She does not care for him? - No! I mean, she did care earlier. - But not now. What say? - Yes, brother. The thing is... he is right! So my brother is spoiling his life being a romantic. - What say Bobby? - Yes brother! This is the same girl who was with you... in the restaurant while shoot out too place, isn't it? - To Ameena baug, please! - Where? - Ameena baug! - Okay! Come dear! Come! I wish to see that happiness which you had earlier. Come! I have brought you that gift... which you shall remember all your life. Look there! Brother, what's all this? She didn't care about you, isn't it? What did you think of yourself? Angel? I lifted them for your sake. Now you can marry her, or just keep her. Brother! What's this you have done? You have crossed all limits. You showed your standings. You have misunderstood me, Sheen. Stop your performance. What did you think? You will gain me like this? Faiz, this was a big mistake by you. Victory is not in forcing. Victory is in defeating hate. Well! You and your brother won't understand this. These are professional killers. Might have lifted up even the women your family. Be in your limits and speak! You speak badly about our women? Step away, brother! Move! What are you doing? What are you all doing? Leave me. I will shoot her. Making fusses, bloody! What else can be expected of you, Impotent? Stop it, girl! You call us Impotent? Shall I show you our manhood? If I just tell them once, You shall not find a place even in the market. Brother! Very good! Brother, very good. Good to see this part of you today. You have educated yourself to grow so big that, You raised your hand on your elder brother. That too for the sake of this girl? Be happy in your world. Before I go I shall give you a word. You shall not come for my burial, after I die. When you need your brother... you may even ask for my life. Your brother will lay down his life for you. I can't even ask you for forgiveness. My brothers have left me worthless in my own view. Come, I shall drop you home. "Be it love or god, it goes away like this". "It feels as though every prayer have become worthless". Sheen! "I gathered every bit to make a home". "But somehow the winds go to know of it". "Oh god, oh god". "Oh god, oh god". "Oh god, oh god". "Oh god, oh god". "Oh god, oh god". "Oh god, oh god". "Oh god, oh god". "Love is off the target at times". "On one side is Love and on the other is the world". "Love is off the target at times". "On one side is Love and on the other is the world". "On one side is Love and on the other is the world". "On one side is Love and on the other is the world". "Respect me love, oh god, and grant me your favors". "Oh god, grant me your favors". "Oh god, grant me your favors". "Oh god, grant me your favors". "Oh god, grant me your favors". "Oh god, grant me your favors". "Oh god, grant me your favors". "Oh god, grant me your favors". "It never bows down to situations". "It never erases as the days pass by". "Oh god". "Oh god". "It never bows down to situations". "It never erases as the days pass by". "Love is like an innocent volcano". "Cannot be put off even by the rains". "Cannot be put off even by the rains". "It Is reborn even after it dies". "Oh god, grant me your favors". "Oh god, grant me your favors". "Oh god, grant me your favors". "Oh god, grant me your favors". "Oh god, grant me your favors". "Oh god, grant me your favors". "It's your Vane, it's your world". "I believe in your kindness". After marrying Shadab... you may have handled life. But won't be able to life. And, Faiz... shall be shattered. Love is big gift from god. Don't reject it. Sheen, don't burry your happiness. "It's your Vane, it's your world". "I believe in your kindness". "You may bend gracefully lowering the branches". "It cannot even be burned". "It cannot even be burned". "Then why do atrocities on the heart". "Oh god, grant me your favors". "Oh god, grant me your favors". "Oh god, grant me your favors". Rashid, go in for breakfast! "Oh god, grant me your favors". "Oh god, grant me your favors". Sheen! "Oh god!" Oh god! Oh god! "What's the fear when life is like the mornings". "What's the fear when there's havoc everywhere". "Your name is the protector of fear". "What's the fear when there's havoc everywhere". "What's the fear when there's havoc everywhere". "Oh god!" Oh god! Oh god! For the... For the first time some women in... the family has dared to run away like this. Such a big step is impossible without the help of the household. The cards have been printed. What face can we show to our relatives? The marriage shall take place on the same day. And it shall happen with Sheen only. This is the farmhouse. Okay brother! Be ready on time, tomorrow. Okay? - I shall get the priest. - Okay! - Bye! Take care! - Bye! Are you okay? Oh god! You shied away? The priest shall be on the way. You shied away? "Every moment I look at you". "Oh god, I desire you so much". "Every moment I look at you". "Oh god, I desire you so much". "My simplicity and my shyness is all for you, my dearest". "Silky is the moment, beautiful Is the fragrance". "Silky is the moment, beautiful Is the fragrance". "My dear, since the time I've met you". Vishal, where are you? I'm waiting for you since long. Friend, we have brought Sheen's mother to the hospital. I got to know that she had a heart attack. Don't know if we should tell her, or... You handle it. Faiz, is everything okay? Keep faith in god. Nothing will happen to your aunty. Take care, Sheen. Take care! Shedab has got to know that you and Sheen are together. He has got your mobile traced. It's not safe for you to be there now. Move out immediately! We have to move, Immediately! Come on! Come! Come! Come sir, vehicle is ready, sir! Move! Movie inside! Be seated, sir. Sir, it seems you are new to this city. - Yes. - Where are you going? We are just going on an outing. Going to Nainital. The vehicle has broken down. And it will take 2 to 3 days. So, don't know about the train. So we thought of going by bus, from the highway. Very good! Enjoy yourselves. It's your age. Enjoy yourselves. Live life. What about us? We are old now. How much? How much? Faiz, where is path of life taking us to? Don't know. Buy wherever it be, we shall be together. I have a desire. Whenever I am to die, I should be in your arms. - Are you thirsty? - No! As it is you won't get water here. Wait! I shall arrange. Let it be! Wait! Borther, 2 teas, please! The fuel ihas exhausted. No tea! Okay! Let's see ahead! Faiz! Faiz! Faiz! Faiz! - Sheen! - Come fast! - Sheen! Sheen! - Faiz! Faiz! Sheen! Faiz! Faiz! - Sheen! - Faiz! Sheen! Sheen! Are you fine? What have you done? Jumped from the vehicle? What if something happened? Nothing will happen to me. I thought I would be separated from you. I could never bear that separation. And I jumped! Tell me brother, do you need some help? Can we get a place to stay, somewhere? A place to stay? It's some distance from here. It's difficult to find transport here. Sit on my bike, I shall leave you there. I am going that way. Okay? - Okay? - Come on! - Okay, come! Go inside, there is place to stay here. Okay! Thanks! Hello! Is anybody there? - Sheen! - Look how beautiful it is. But there is no one here! Can't find anyone. Let's look inside. Strange place. Greetings! So you have come, finally? Everything okay? Any trouble on the way? So these were your men? What you thought? You shall take away my "would be" bride, and I shall keep watching? I love Faiz! Your marriage shall happen with me. "Happiness blossoms. But this world confines all the happiness". "I only have this request of you, Keep them free". "Keep them free". "These are birds of Love". "These are birds of Love". "These are birds of Love". The next bullet shall pass through your head. "These are birds of Love". Sheen! "These are birds of Love". Sheen! Sheen! Sheen! Sheen! Sheen! Sheen! Faiz! - Hello! - Brother Kadir! Faiz and Sheen were to get married. But Shadab got to know of it. Faiz is in danger. They will kill him. Why are you'll looking at my face? Go and call for the priest! Go! Where are you, priest? How long will you take? This marriage should happen today. Talk to the priest later. Tell me where my brother is, first. Did you mortgage him to me? Listen you prince! If something happens to my brother, I shall destroy your world. Threaten someone else! Kayyub! Come on! Come on! Come on, inside! Brother we have put the girl in the vehicle. Your "Would be" bride shall be with us. Give me my brother and take away your "Would be" bride. - Come on! - Away! Away! If something happens to my brother, everyone shall be killed. Brother, the girl! Sit in the car! You'll attack us? Get up! Get up! Don't beat! Shadab! Shadab! Wait! Don't beat! - Faiz! - No, brother! Not today! Are you okay, brother? Brother. How's this blood, my brother? Brother. Hold it! Please, hold it! "This is love, not some revolt". "It's a matter of hearts, not something else". "Some say this love is a trouble". "Some say this love is a stigma". "Love is desire". "Love is a blessing". "Love is wealth". "Love is worship". "The world is an enemy of love". Faiz! Faiz! "Will die if separated". You have my promise! "People of love shall brighten". What did you think? I am not a pawn in the chess game. That, someone's life should decide victory or loss. Sheen, don't stop me to day. You are bloodied angry, today. You are no more that Faiz, who I had loved. I don't want such a husband. Whose hands are bloodied. I don't want such a love. Whose basis is on someone else's shoulder. This bloodied war had orphaned me when I was young. If it is in my destiny to part away from you, Then, I accept that. "Holding on to the dreams, we shall walk ahead". "If ever you are lost, I shall find you out". "To be lost and found, and lost again". "To laugh and cry, in love". "Let the victory be of both of us and the loss be only mine". "Let the victory belong to you and I loose". I could have crushed you under the vehicle. - Not scared? - Scared for what? Scared of losing what? Everything has been lost now. You think I have won. But for the first time in life, I lost even after winning. Sheen shall marry me. Her body shall be with me. But her heart will remain with you. Till now, I have got what I wanted, completely. Sheen became mine, but only half. And I don't accept half victory. Shadab! Even if you were to bury me... alive, yet the flowers on my grave would be of Sheen's name. "In this game of love, in this union of two hearts". "Let the victory be of both of us and the loss be only mine". "A palm of yours and the other be mine". "A palm of yours and the other be mine". "Both, together, pray to god for their love". "Both, together, pray to god for their love". "A palm of yours and the other be mine". "A palm of yours and the other be mine". "In this game of love, in this union of two hearts". "Let the victory be of both of us and the loss be only mine". "A palm of yours and the other be mine". "A palm of yours and the other be mine". "Holding the dream hand, I shall walk the distance". "If ever you are lost, I shall search and find you". "Holding the dream hand, I shall walk the distance". "If ever you are lost, I shall search and find you". "To be lost and found again". "To be crying and laughing, in Love". "To be lost and found again". "To be crying and laughing, in Love". "Let the sadness be mine and happiness be always yours". "A palm of yours and the other be mine". Amy: Previously on "Heartland"... I've been feeding these horses for years and never got that close to 'em. Well, that's Amy for you. You-you've got no legal right to stop me from seeing my niece! But it is our house, and we do have the legal right to tell you to get the hell outta here. I'm pushing for that cull to happen, and when it does, those damn horses are gonna be the first to go. - Okay, let's get 'em outta here. - What the hell are you doing? ! I told you not to fight me on this! Keep 'em moving! I'm with the child protection society. There's been a complaint about Georgie's living conditions and welfare. Can you believe what we just did? That was completely awesome. Ty Borden, Amy Flemming, you're under arrest for horse theft. - Horse theft? - You heard the officer. How can you arrest us for horse theft? You should arrest this guy. He's the one who stole the herd off Will Vernon. They're wild horses! They don't belong to will or anybody else. I'm completely within my rights. Yeah, but you trespassed on Will's land to get them in the first place. Mr. Pincher has a government permit. He's allowed by law to capture any wild horses in this area. I'm gonna give you a choice. Return the horses to his corral or I will have to put you under arrest. I can't believe this. It's a notice of investigation from the... - child protection society. They're... - Shhh! They're setting up an appointment with us for tomorrow. Oh my God. There's a litany of complaints here, Lou. Look! "Child works on the farm for three hours both before and after school. Could constitute child labour. An alleged... An alleged accident occurred while the child was unsupervised. This could be deemed as possible child abuse and neglect." Peter, this is all lies. Every bit of it has been skewed and twisted. It's Crystal. She's the one who's done this. It has to be her. Hi-yah! Come on! Yah! Hi-yah! - That's it, that's all of 'em. - Close the gate. All right, you two, you're finished here. It doesn't have to be like this, Matt. But you don't get to decide that. I don't want you near those horses again. Same goes for Will Vernon. You tell him that. Let's go. We can't let this happen, Ty. All those beautiful horses. He's gonna send them to auction. He's gonna let them die. Okay. don't worry about it, all right? We'll figure this out, just one step at a time. Amy, look. At least he's still free. This isn't over yet. It's just beginning. S08E10 The Heart of a River ♪ And at the break of day you sank into your dream ♪ ♪ You dreamer ♪ oh, oh, oh... ♪ You dreamer... ♪ You dreamer... It's not fair! Who would do that? We don't know, honey. They don't release that information. I bet I know who. Hey! It was aunt Crystal. She's the only person who would know about this stuff. Georgie, listen... Hey, everyone. Thanks for coming. We thought it might be a good idea since emotions are running a little high to get together and talk about what's happening with the horses. So, Matt, you're up. Thanks, Joanna. Okay! I'm sorry about the situation this morning. Nothing would've happened if certain people hadn't interfered in the first place. Look, guys, I'm taking good care of the herd. They're being watered and fed in line with the rules of the capture. They're probably better off than they were when they were wandering in the wild. Out of curiosity, how'd you come up with the number you could take in? I've got the statistics right here. Now, they did an aerial study and it shows... The herd population in this area alone grew by 20 percent in the last two years. Now, the horses that I captured represent a tiny portion of that 20 percent. When did you do this count? Last October. - Before the flood. - Yeah. And before the worst winter in my personal memory. - That's right. - Now it's just my humble opinion, but I figure there's a natural cull going on here. She's called mother nature. You know, your old man, he loved them horses. He absolutely loved them and you know that. What is wrong with you? Right now he's flipped around in that grave of his. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, boy. Matt, I think something that we can actually agree on is that we need to keep these horses healthy. Because it's part of your deal as a permit holder. - Correct. - So it is in your best interest to make sure the horses are in good shape. What're you saying? I'm just saying that maybe Ty, with his vet experience, should monitor the horses' condition while they're in your care, and I can help. No. They don't need to be monitored. They're fine. You don't know that. They're wild, right? So they could have any number of diseases. Diseases that could spread to other stock. To healthy stock. Come on, Matt. What're you afraid of? - Yeah! - Let 'em check out the horses. Fine. Monitor the horses. But that's it, you hear me? She said she loved me, Jeffie, and... she said I was just like my mom and she gave me all these pictures and stuff and... Okay. Well, can I call you once you're done work? Okay. I'll let you know what it happens. Okay. Love you too. Bye. Georgie? What's gonna happen at the appointment tomorrow? It'll be fine. I called Clint and I left a message. He knows us and he loves you. Just be totally honest and nothing bad can happen. That hasn't always worked, even with Clint. Look. I know that you were disappointed when we asked your aunt Crystal to leave. And I know that you wish things could've turned out differently. No. I don't. Not anymore. And I-I was just on the phone with Jeffie and he remembers Crystal. My mom... She didn't trust her and... she said she was a bad influence on us. Come here. Everything's gonna be all right, okay? Amy, honey, I thought you did a great job at that meeting today. Well, at least it was a step. Now that I can get close to Matt's horses, I can start to gentle them. Yeah? And how do you plan on doing that? Hopefully, right under Matt's nose, and then I'll find homes for them. Great. Hey. It's really beautiful out there, Amy. You wanna go for a walk? You should, you should. I'll-I'll put wood on the fire and keep it going till you get back. Okay. Sure. Thanks. See that? What do you got to say now, huh? I'm just glad everyone's away during all of this. - What if she wins? - She won't. What if... You saw that report. It's claiming you're an absentee parent. I know, I know. It's gonna make it worse if you and I... If we don't figure things out. Yeah, uh... I think, just for now, we have to put our personal issues aside and just create a united front. You know, for Georgie's sake. Just for Georgie's sake? No... for us, too. Kind of a weird day. I guess it's becoming a habit for you, this getting arrested thing. Come on... I wasn't arrested after that bar episode. You and Caleb were such a mess. Ty... why didn't you call? You know, after... I picked you up and everything? I wanted to, but I decided to give you some time to figure out what it is that you want. What I wanted was to talk, but... you made it pretty clear that you didn't. You kept giving me the cold shoulder, and then, this morning, you do a complete 180. You kissed me, Ty. Did that... Did that mean something or was that just us getting caught up in the moment? I'm not giving you the cold shoulder, I just don't want us to go right back to where we were. Then... what do you want me to do? Amy, I want you to figure out what's important to you. I have. Maybe you haven't noticed, but I have. So what do you want? You're gonna have to tell me what's important to you. Say something. Just sit down. They'll be fine. Yeah, I know. I know. And who do we have to thank for that? Hey, honey. Good night. Yeah, tell me again. Who do we have to thank? Yeah, Mel. I-no, no, no! These are true "hot shot" type horses. No, you have to see them. Yeah, I got a client roster in my phone from last month. Is that still up-to-date? Okay, good. Thanks for spreading the word, Scott. Just, just, just come up. That's it. If you see them, I guarantee you'll buy a few of them. Okay. I've been through all my clients and there's lots of prospects. There's something about a group of tree hugging horsey people on a mission. But have you even thought about what's gonna happen when all these people start showing up? Matt's gonna know. I mean, they have to deal with him. Well, I've got time to talk Matt around. Actually, you don't have any time at all. I just heard. Meat truck's coming... tomorrow. Hi there. Um, nice to see you again. Will-will Clint be joining us today? Actually, my boss is on vacation, so all twelve of your emails were forwarded to me. Judging by the content of some of them, I'm sure you weren't aware. So how would you like to go about these interviews? Well, protocol states that I should start with you and Peter. Of course. Um, separately. Oh. Okay. Um, who would you like to... interrogate first? You. And Mrs. Morris, this is not an interrogation. This is for the good of your child. It's okay. There you go. That doesn't hurt, now, does it? You don't think I'd hear about what you're up to? It's a small town! You're just supposed to make sure these horses are healthy. Not break them. Matt, please listen to me. No! No, I should've known you'd go behind my back. Okay, but I have a long list of people seriously considering adopting them. - I ain't interested! - Why not? Because, quite frankly, I can save time and money sending them to auction. Matt, please, I don't believe you! Look, these horses, they could have great homes. There are people willing to pay for them. The end result is the same. There's still money in your pocket. Okay, here's the deal. I'm a reasonable man. - Okay... - Do whatever you want with them... But... tomorrow morning, they go to the highest bidder, be it the glue factory or someone who wants to adopt. So... go ahead and rally your troops, but I'll be the one making the final decision. All right. I understand your husband works in Vancouver. - Um, how often is he home? - He travels for work, but that doesn't put a strain on the relationship. A strain? Why do you use that word? No, no. I said there isn't... a strain. Moving on. Um, let's discuss Georgie's recent injury. Can you take me through how that actually happened? Georgie takes trick riding lessons and she was practicing in our ring. You know, I'm surprised someone as young as Georgie's - doing such a dangerous sport. - It's not dangerous. Hanging upside down from a galloping horse isn't dangerous? I know, but a lot of girls Georgie's age do it, and the lessons are always highly supervised. Mm. But to my understanding, it wasn't highly supervised the day Georgie broke her arm, was it, Mrs. Morris? Where were you when it happened? I was in the house with Katie, but Georgie wasn't alone. She was with her aunt. And in fact, I discovered later that her aunt was encouraging her and egging her on, even though Georgie knew it was against house rules; that Peter and I would never have condoned it. That may be, but the bottom line is... You weren't there to supervise her, were you? Well, I... No. You weren't. If her aunt hadn't challenged Georgie in the first place... Mrs. Morris... Lou, this interview is standard protocol. It's necessary for me to understand why these complaints were made. I think we both know where these complaints have come from. So why can't we just be upfront about it? That's against policy. Yeah, that's right. I uh... I commute back and forth to Vancouver. Did you know that while you're gone, Georgie is routinely up at dawn, doing chores in the barn that some would consider hard labour? I'm sorry, hard labour? Some foster children are adopted for reasons other than their well-being. They're thought of sometimes as unpaid household help. Okay. Do you wanna tell me where you're going with this? That isn't the case here, is it, Mr. Morris? Or were you even aware it was going on? Uh, we live on a ranch, so Georgie does chores. In fact, we all do chores. She happens to love being out with the horses before school in the morning. It's part of her routine and we couldn't stop her if we tried. So I would hardly call it hard labour. That's insulting. No one's accusing you of anything, Mr. Morris. These are standard questions for clarification. Right, well, I don't think you'd have to ask these questions if you'd done any homework and found out anything about us. How can you take these complaints at face value like this? Honestly. It's ridiculous. I've done everything that's required of me. Let's get the next one ready for the shoot. Whoa! Settle down there. Whoa... - All right. - That's it. - How many is this? - Five more to go. Whoa... there. Thanks for keeping him calm. You know, this is what I miss the most. Us working together. It's what we always wanted, right? It was a dream. Maybe we just keep it at that. Oh no, he's back. Matt is gonna see him! - Amy! - Amy, be careful! Go on! Get outta here, you hear me? ! Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Go on! - Now, easy. - Go! Just go! Come on. Come on. Please, you have to leave. You broke your arm, Georgie. Is it true you did it trick riding? Or was it broken some other way? You think I'm abused? I didn't say that. Why do you say that? Look, I know how the game goes. You people are always trying to put words in my mouth, trying to make me say things I don't mean. Now, that's not true. I want you to feel you can tell me things. You're in a safe place... I'm not abused. Okay, I broke my arm when I was doing a trick riding routine for my aunt Crystal. It was my fault. I shouldn't have been doing it with her alone. - Lou and Peter don't let me. - Okay. Was it my aunt Crystal who complained? Um, Georgie, I can't answer that. I bet it was... because she's mad at Lou and Peter because they didn't let her stay and get to know me. You know, I haven't seen her since I was two, and I don't even remember her. But my brother does, and he says that she wasn't very nice, and my mom didn't like her and she was a bad influence on us. I don't really need to know the whole history. You do! You need to know my aunt just as much as you need to know me because she's the one who's accusing my mom and dad of being bad parents, and it's a lie! You're supposed to be helping us. You're supposed to be helping me. - Okay, so... - So what's the next step here? Um, I'm afraid I have to review the case further. I'll be in touch. Please stay in town. - That's my best offer. - Fair enough. Not as many takers as we'd hoped. Well, rumour has it that Matt's been telling people the sale was cancelled. - Look at this one. - No, I'm not sure about him. This is a really nice, young colt, okay? He was easily gentled. It's gonna some time to gain his confidence, but he's a hundred percent sound. Good boy. Now if I can do this in a day, imagine what you can do with more time. Now if anyone is interested, please go see Matt and place your bid. Why hasn't she called? You know, and Clint... picked the worst possible time to be on vacation. Of course, I've left more messages, but they're probably all going to Abby. Don't go over Abby's head, okay? It's a bad idea. It's just gonna alienate her more. Georgie... I'm getting complaints! People are furious! You're turning down everyone's offer? Why? They're too low! I told you, they go to the highest bidder. My client offered you twelve hundred dollars. That's way higher than any meat buyer's gonna give you! What is wrong with you? ! Will said your father loved those horses! How can you just kill them? Those horses killed my father. I understand you're under fire from the CPS. It must be very difficult. You should know since you're the one who instigated the entire thing! I don't see how you can show your face at our door. You took the truth and you twisted it into total lies. I believe I had just cause. You tried to keep me from seeing my only niece. I told you, you wouldn't get away with it. But... I can make this all go away. For a price. For a price? I'm sorry, you're blackmailing us! It's hardly blackmail. If you want me out of Georgie's life that much, then I believe I deserve a little compensation. You have my number. Yeah, I have your number all right, Crystal. You call me when you're ready to discuss this. I'm in town. Well, they tried, Will. Amy and Ty, they did their best. You know what? I think I'm just getting too old... for all this. I'm sick and tired of fighting. Actually, no. Actually, what I'm sick and tired of is losing. Losing fights, losing them horses... There's not much left to lose anymore. - Nah, that's not true. - Oh no? Well, what would you know about it? Look, Sam doesn't come up here to see me no more. Now Joanna's met this guy and she's taking off with him. Lost my best friend this last winter. On top of everything else, my health is totally giving out. Now it's my lungs and don't be telling Joanna. Look, you don't wanna lose anything else, then move! Go with her. It seems pretty simple from where I'm standing. Oh, it seems pretty simple to Mr. High-and-mighty, does it? You're telling me to do something you'd never do yourself. Am I right? Your wife travels, she moves around, but you're "independent." You don't gotta go nowhere. It's a fancy way of saying that you're gonna stay put. People wanna see you, they gotta come where you're at. You're not gonna move anywhere. So don't be giving me advice that you wouldn't take yourself, thank you. - Come on, will... Knock on the knocker! (KNOCKING) (POP MUSIC PLAYING) (WOMEN GIGGLING) (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (WOMEN LAUGHING) (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (IMITATING CAR NOISES) Hi. I'm a fucking car, baby. Lexus convertible! (GIGGLES) (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah. Oh! God, that's amazing. Yeah! Fuck, you're late! You're late! Ha! (MUSIC STOPS) The last 15 minutes have been a fucking roller coaster of emotions for me, mate. I didn't know if I was ever gonna see you again. (CHUCKLES) So I fired up some of this shit. Fired up my fucking nose. (DISTORTED) But there you are. It's okay. You just lost power. Come on. Hey, there! Bring me some of that strong Russian shit, ladies. Okay, now where's that booster pump? Where is it? Did you get it? Did you get the fucking... (PANTING) Yeah! Fucking hell. This is it. This is it, yeah? Okay, hang on. Okay, hold this, lady. Shit. Okay, I gotta get this little fucker in there. Who am I kidding? I'm in no condition to do this. I'm sorry. I'm in no condition to do this, mate. I'm in no condition. (PANTING) I'm sorry. I'm in no condition to do this. (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (SLOW MUSIC PLAYS) (WOMEN LAUGHING) Oh, goodness. Oh, goodness, what have you done? (DISTORTED VOICE) What have you done this time, Jimmy? Are you still conscious? Are you still conscious? Yeah. Hello. You're gonna be okay. Just gotta get a little bit of power into you. Ladies, could you give us a bit of space, please? Thank you. You're a big deal, you know? You're not the only one wronged by Akan. You and I both want the same thing. This may hurt a bit. (MECHANICAL WHIRRING) There we go. (PANTING) That's wonderful. Now I can take you back to my lab. I'm Jimmy, by the way. I realize this is all very confusing for you. But it's better if I show you (TELEPHONE RINGING) at the lab, yes... Hello? (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) They're here. They must've followed you. I can't let them see me like this. I can't let... I'm sorry. I can't stay here, Henry. I'm sorry. (DOOR SLAMS) (GROANING) Oh, shit. (SNORTING) Ah! (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) Fuck yeah! Fucking hell, Akan's boys are here. I'm gonna hold them off, yeah? I'm gonna hold them off, yeah? More guns for you in the drawer, yeah? VVhoo! This is fucking war, baby,yeah! Whoo! Fuck yeah! Hi, ladies. (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (WOMEN GIGGLING) (GUNSHOTS ECHOING) (WOMEN SCREAMING) (GROANING) (GUNFIRE) (MAN YELLS) I fucking had that! (HEAVY GUNFIRE) (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) Go, go, go! Run, run! (MAN GROANS) (MAN SCREAMS) The floor is fucking lava! I'm gonna burn this... Olga! Katya! Sorry. (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (GUNFIRE CONTINUES) (WOMAN SCREAMING) Please, please! Please don't hurt me. I've got a family. Is that your wife? Uh... Uh... (GROANS) (SCREAMING) Don't mind her, Henry. She's mourning her late husband. (HENRY THUDS) I wasn't betting on seeing you again. Your persistence is unparalleled. Quite exciting. (SHRIEKS) Slick Dimitry's services were excellent. I'm just glad I never paid up front. I'll tell Estelle you did well. JIMMY: Akan! Akan, you open this fucking door, you hear me? I got her all dolled up in the back of my truck downstairs. JIMMY: I'm gonna rip your fucking lungs out! (GUNFIRE CONTINUES) (GRUNTS) AKAN: You'll go far, Henry, unlike this piece of shit. (MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) (BREATHING HEAVILY) (CRACKING) (GROANS) (GUNSHOTS) (TIRES SCREECHING) JIMMY: Hey, Henry. Put your gun down. It's all good. (MAN MOANS) Hey, hey, hey, hey- People, people. Chill out. Calm down. Now I've shared something with you, I need you to share something with me. Where's Akan going? Mmm. (BREATHING HEAVILY) (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) Oh, Shit, shit. (SCREAMING IN PAIN) Now that is my ego talking to yours. (MAN SOBBING) What do you want? Higher self, ego? Higher self, ego? Higher self! Higher self. Yeah. Okay. Akan's convoy are taking the girl to his base. (GUNSHOT) Ah, shit. Let me handle this. Let me handle this. (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) I'm sorry that you're upset, okay? Henry and I... Henry and I are gonna go deal with Akan. You wanna go on the bike? You can go on the bike. Just... Yeah, you wanna go? Okay, go on your bike. Yeah, yeah, go on your bike. Fucking hell. Sometimes it's easier just to say yes. (REVVING) (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) Henry, catch! (MOTORBIKE ENGINE REVVING) (GUNSHOTS) (KATYA SCREAMS) (REVVING) (TIRES SCREECHING) (HONKING) (GRUNTING) (YELLS) (GROANING) (SNIFFLING) God, I thought I'd lost you forever, Henry. (SOBBING) I was so scared. I was so scared when you fell. I thought I would never see you again. I love you, Henry. I love you. (MIMICS KISSING) How sweet. If I took this moment and put it in a cup of tea, I wouldn't need sugar. (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (ESTELLE GASPS) (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (GRUNTS) AKAN: Each year, 100,000 baseball bats are sold in Russia, and, at most, 50 baseballs. Gives you an idea of a great Russian pastime. This is a rare surviving bat. Estelle. Would you please be so kind and stand up? (GRUNTS) HENRY: (WHISPERS) No. Or do you want to take her place? Estelle, your boy's quite the white knight, sacrificing himself to keep you alive only for my dick (SPITS) to kill you later. Are you sure, Henry? Are you sure? (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) Brilliant! Uh... Come over here, Henry. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, Henry. (sesame) MAN: YOU little pussy (MUSIC PLAYING) (MEN SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (GUNSHOTS) JIMMY: Give peace a chance, brothers. My ego wants to kill you but my higher self doesn't. (GUNSHOTS) Jesus, baby. I was talking to that man. Shit. Look at this. Dude's got a memory blocker. JIMMY: Well, that's about all I can do for you, mate. Time for a reboot. See you in about 15 minutes, hopefully. (WOMAN LAUGHS) Hey. He's awake. Your eyes might be a bit blurry. Ifsjustyour depth perception trying to calibrate, yeah? Follow me as I walk, yeah? Get up. Okay. All right. Now... Can you focus on me over here? Yeah? Yeah. JIMMY: Burying you, it's like burying treasure. I really don't understand what Akan is thinking because". (EXPLOSION) (GASPS) (EXHALES) (BOMBS EXPLODING) (RUSTLING) (MAN GROANS) (GAGGING) (CHOPPER BLADES WHIRRING) (MEN GROANING) Ah! (CELL PHONE RINGING) JIMMY: Henry, stop dicking around. You're almost there, mate. Here's where you gotta get to. Chop-chop. (HORSE SNORTS) (WHINNIES) (NEIGHS) Shh. It's me, Jimmy. Move. Ah, Shit. Those pigs are here again. (WOMAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) JIMMY: Psst. (WHISPERS) Don't compromise my lab. (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) Let them leave. (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) JIMMY: Henry, no. I'm instructing... Shit. (WOMAN SOBBING) (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (SCREAMING) (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) Good job, Charlie Bronson. Bravo 2-0. lights UP- (DOOR SHUTS) Play video. Dawn of twilight. A cyborg era. Thank you, sir. I've lobotomized everything not essential... (CORK POPS) Not essential to soldiers. Personal memories, speech, sense of taste. It's all gone. Might still have a bit of an issue with emotional motivation, which... Motivation? Try your fucking paycheck, James. My... Yes, okay. (THUD5) AKAN: What the shit-fuck, James? I'm sorry, sir! I'm so sorry! Oh, shit! Open the doors! Please! Open the door! We've got a malfunction! Let me out, please! (BANGING ON DOOR) Sir, I'll fix it. I doubt it. (JIMMY SCREAMS) Fucking idiot. QGROAbUNG) (JIMMY GASPS) You know, Jimmy, something about a spine snapping (BONES CRACKING) never gets old. (GLASS SHATTERS) It sounds like... The end, the beginning? Or are they the same? Have a seat, Henry. When a man is first crippled, there's always one question on everyone's mind, especially his. Does his dick work? Mine didn't, so I plotted my escape from this chair. I had come to Russia when the west banned resuscitation of cadaverflssue. Akan's a megalomaniac, but my research was funded. I kept my eyes on the Nobel Prize. Who has time for icky ethics when he's rich and his cock works, eh'? (GUNSHOT ON TV) I paid a high price. I stopped making soldiers and then I succeeded. I grew men made of cyberflesh. Really, they're just fancy-pants prostheses, but don't dare tell... My avatars! Now, cyborgs, on the other hand, have bits and a brain. They think for themselves, in theory at least. Shall we have a look at you? (ZIPPER OPENS) (SNIFFING) That hippie, always with the ganja. You're not baked, are you? Hope not. All right. (WHISTLES) You are the man, Henry. Hmm. There's very little actual man left, of course. Enhanced skeletal muscular systems, cardiovascular turbo boosted with a curium-244 atomic battery. A good night's sleep and you'd power an aircraft carrier. Remarkable technology, is it not? Not you. My b0315- I made the first few for revenge but then I started exploring new aspects of myself. Can I have a sip? Mmm. I have lived these past years, Henry. My lads, they get speeding tickets, they walk barefoot through the grass, and boy, do they get laid. You'll never guess what we do here sometimes alone. Hit play. Over there. Go on. (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) I've got you Under my skin I've got you deep In the heart of me So deep in my heart That you're really A part of me I've got you Under my skin I 'd tried so Not to give in I said to myself "This affair never Will go so well" But why should I try to resist when, baby, I know so well I've got you under my skin? (WARNING ALARM BEEPS) What is all this? Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Something's wrong with you, mate. Don't worry, it's not the clap or nothing. Just gonna sit you down in this ohair and take a look at you, yeah? The scan says you're in terrible danger. (LOCK CLICKS) Of being shivved for being a traitor, you lying grasser! I'm shutting you down, mate. (GROANS) (HENRY SNORTS AND SPITS) (GRUNTING) (GROANING) (RUMBLING) Put down the prom baby. (BABY WHEEZING) Now! We tried to unplug you nicely even though we knew that you beamed your video to Akan. No? What's this? (ECHOING) What's that? You're broadcasting that to Akan! Enough! Enough. Even if I did believe you, I still have to... (WARNING ALARM BLARES) (GROANS) Fuck! Henry, no! No! (SCREAMS) You brought them to my lab! I trusted you! Henry, please kill me. Akan won't. He'll make me live in this straightjacket of rotten, smelly skin! What the fuck was I thinking that Akan's toy robot was my friend? (BREATHING HEAVILY) Thank you, Henry. Fuck you, too, but mostly thanks. My lab's compromised, but I can build a new one using Akan's equipment when we go get your wife together, right? Hey, put that on the wall. If I can't have my lab, no one's having her. Now, don't lose this. Fuck you, Akan. And don't change your channel. We're coming right over. All right, I counted six vehicles. That's at least 35 men. We've gotta cut them down to half that before they enter the hotel to give us a fighting chance to get out alive. Also, there's a certain stigma attached to blokes who like musicals. I just wanna get it out there right now that I'm straight as an arrow. (VEHICLES APPROACHING) Got it? Here they come. Wait for it. Wait for it. (GUN COCKS) Now. (GUNSHOT) (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) Hey, cover me. (PUNK MUSIC PLAYING) (LAUGHING) Fuck, they're in the hotel. We don't need the sniper anymore either. Go inside. See the colonel. Over here, laddie. Arm yourself to the teeth. Don't touch that. Imogene's mine. That's what my father used to say. "A grenade a day keeps the enemy at bay." Come along. Chop-CF")? Big Sally. (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) Eh... Well, home is where the battle is. Right, private, it is our duty to ensure that no harm comes to the cripple, understood? Follow on. If you can hear them, but you can't shoot them, you can probably grenade them. Drop an egg down there, laddie. (MAN SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY) Forward. Come along. Good Lord, how embarrassing. (GUNS FIRING) Dodged a bullet on that one. Hlcoveryou. You go around them. (GUNFIRE CONTINUES) JIMMY: Don't let the cripple get below you, laddie! (MAN SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (MAN SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (GRENADE EXPLODES) (GRENADE EXPLODES) (MAN SHOUTS) Jolly good. Pull your weight! Help me with the cripple. (MAN SHOUTS IN RUSSIAN) (WHISPERS) Retreat five paces back on my command, laddie. (MERCENARIES LAUGHING) Spasibo, Yuri. My quarters are actually up there. Would you like to see them? Oh, we will. Indeed. (BEEP S) (MEN SCREAMING IN PAIN) JIMMY: Don't spare the horses. You can take the next slipway. Off here. Here we go. (TIRES SCREECHING) (GUN FIRING) Down on anchors, laddie. Let's turn the tables on these buggers. Tally-ho. (TIRES SCREECH) Big Ben. Akan is a cunt. (DOOR SHUTS) Oh, my- Looks like Akan's already begun. By tomorrow, these poor chaps will be super robotio soldiers like yourself. Look out! (METAL SUIT CLAN KS) (SCREAMS) (SHOUTING) JIMMY: On your feet, lad. (GUNSHOTS) On your left. Hang on. I'm gonna buy you some time! Seal the door. (JIMMY PANTING) Can't tell you the number of times I've dreamt that I was riding up in this lift. It's a pity I can't... It's just the landing gear, laddie. Now, listen to me. When you kill Akan, I want you to look him right in those eyes until the rest of him is just as dead as they are, understood? No, I'm afraid I shall not be coming with. But you letting me get you this far has given an old sweat his grandest gift in all his years. No. It's lodged in hisjugular. If you uncork it, I won't be able to... (STUTTERS) The thingamajig in your pocket, quickly. Well, I have a confession to make. See, I've been surveilling Akan for years. So when you dropped down onto that roadway and went rogue so magnificently, well, all I saw was my shot at revenge. You proved me right with Dimitry, but then in the forest, well, I noticed an implant. A memory block, see? And I couldn't afford to have you remember a better life somewhere else. So I left it in. Not my finest hour, I'm afraid. But then, back at my lab while I was trying to analyze what you could do for me, lreahzed who you are to me. Henry. It's bloody nice having a friend, Henry. You'd think all those deaths would've prepared me for this. If you haven't already, you'll start to remember bits from your past now, Henry. And those memories, they're real. They're you. Trust them. (MUSIC PLAYING) (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) (GUNS FIRING) (MEN SHOUTING) AKAN: Memories, memories, memories. My first batch of cyber soldiers. With everything that you have experienced today uploaded into what's left of their brains, all they remember is waking up in the lab with their wife screwing their legs on. I love you, Charlie. I love you, Edward. I love you, Thomas. You recognize these? No? That's odd. They're your wife's. (SNIFFING) Mmm... I smell what you like about her. (BEEPING) This one is almost ready for you. But I'm warning you, their boosters make the one you have in you now... Look like a fucking 9-volt. Go ahead and fuck him up. (GRUNTING) (PANTS AND GROANS) (SYSTEM SHUTS DOWN) (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) (CLICKING) (THUDDING) (MUSIC PLAYING) (MECHANICAL WHIRRING) (MECHANICAL WHIRRING) (SHATTERING) (HENRY GROANS) (THUD5) (YELLS) (HENRY GRUNTING) (YELLS) (HENRY GRUNTING) (LAUGHING) (YELLS) (BONES CRACKING) (GRUNTING) (ALL YELLING) (CYBORGS GROANING) (ALL YELLING) (HENRY GRUNTS) (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) (GROANING) (SCREAMS) (YELLING) (HENRY PANTING) (GUN COCKS) (YELLS) (HENRY CONTINUES PANTING) (CEILING THUDS) (EARS RINGING) (MUFFLED YELLING) (GROANS) (CYBORG YELLS) (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) Get up. Get up! (BONES CRACKING) (BONES CRACKING) (GROANING) (MOANS) (BONES CRACK) (SCREAMS) (GRUNTS) Can you handle this? Henry. (HENRY GROANS) Why are you hitting yourself, Henry? Hmm? (THUD5) ESTELLE: Baby? Baby, are you okay? AKAN: I love how protective you are of me. Mmm... You owe me an apology. For? Doubting me. I did have certain apprehensions. Then Why'd you let me do it? I was just entertaining my woman and losing all of my men. (GASPS) ls everybody dead? Yes. Yes. Do you know when I realized this was working? When? When Henry pulled me into the escape pod, trying to get me out of the lab no matter what. Who would've thought that pussy is a hell of a motivator? (SNIFFING) Ah. (CHUCKLES) VVe1lhave a hundred of you tomorrow, a thousand next week. Each one's first memory will be his wife slipping a cheap brass ring on his finger. Every single one of my soldiers will wake willing to do anything my brilliant wife tells him, whether it's marching on Paris or the White House lawn. I would like to pretend you understand the part you played. You didn't make history, Henry. You helped end it. Mmm... (KISSES) (CHUCKLES) (CHOPPER BLADES WHIRRING) MAN: YOU little DUSQL That's what my old man called me. It's like it was my name. And I proved him right by killing all the wrong people. I love you, Henry, and I'll never oall you anything but your name, but you gotta deoide. Are you gonna lay there, swallow that blood in your mouth? Or are you gonna stand up, spit it out, and go spill theirs? (WIND WHOOSHING) ESTELLE: Akan! You fuck... (SCREAMS) (SCREAMING) (HENRY GRUNTS) ESTELLE: No! Stop! I am ordering you to stop! (GROANS) ESTELLE: Henry! Stop! (SCREAMS) Where is he? No. Fuck you, motherfucker! FUCK you! How could you do this to me, Henry? How could you fucking do this? Answer me! Answer me! Motherfucker! (RICOCHET) What happened, Henry? You were supposed to love me. (SCREAMS) Henry! Henry! Listen to your heart! (SHRIEKS) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) JIMMY: Hello, Henry. Well, if you're hearing this, there's one more thing I need you to do. (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) Hey! You... little... pussy. Hello, Henry. Oh. You can't speak, but that's normal. Well, it isn't normal, but it's only temporary, okay? Do you remember how you got here? That's fine. That's normal, too. Henry, wait. Wait. We'll get there. Scan. Sensory processor activated. Relax, okay? Scanning. - Video link confirmed. - Up. This next part might hurt. Maybe quite a lot. But it won't last long, I promise. Almost there. Welder. You can do it. Wonderful, Henry. Squeeze. Harder. Cool, right? Integument? Please don't move your hand. You probably don't recall. You were never a big fan of my work. Maybe this will change your mind. Right? Memory's a funny thing. I'm an expert and I don't know if you'll ever get yours back. You don't remember me at all, do you, Henry? My name is Estelle. You and I were... we still are... husband and wife. I love you, Henry. I can't wait to hear you say it. Henry. His memories are still catching up with him. Oh, Jesus. - I'm Robbie. - The sorcerer of sound. You are gonna love this. Because, sir... you're gonna get to pick... your own voice. Thank you. Thank you very much. Hello, Henry. - Robbie. - Oh, come on, they're options. What white guy wouldn't wanna sound like Louis Armstrong? Just one more. Quick. Luke, I am your father. Robert, enough. - Sorry, Mom. - How about we use Henry's voice? - Yeah, whatever you say. You're the boss. - Boring. Security breach, level four. - Is this a drill? - What is this? - Level four. - Lock the door. It's probably a mistake. Estelle, call the base. ...level four. Oh, no. Yes. Spasiba. Get up. Henry, right? - Please, don't. - Shut up. How do you like the new you? Did I interrupt the procedure? Can Henry not talk yet? - No, he can't. No. - Don't look at me like that, Henry. Your girlfriend here... might have rebuilt you, but I gave her the raw materials to work with. And I mean really, really raw materials. - What's your name? - Timothy. Nice to meet you, Timothy. Did you see Henry when Estelle brought his remains here? Yeah. Would you please be so kind to describe them to better Henry's understanding of how good he looks now? Sure. His arm was shot off below the... below the elbow and the... the leg shot off below the knee. - And there was a football-sized dent... - Did you happen to see his head? - Yes. - Do tell. Um, the skull was dented in and there was this, um... his eyes were missing and, um... the bottom half of his jaw was shred to pieces. Just about right. I'm bleeding, too. That was a little strenuous. Stay close. Henry! Hurry up! Close it. Henry, come on! Henry, try to keep up! Shh. Come on. Kick it in. Come on. If Akan gets ahold of my work, men like these will be brought back from the dead to form his army. Go! Henry, no! Henry! Take my hand! Escape pod initiated. - There are two pods. - One. - Marty? - Sorry. The man's clearly gone insane. Marty, no! Henry. - It's yours. Get in. - Estelle! Get in! Get in! Escape pod initiated. Altitude... The chute! The chute! Pull the chute! It's going too fast! It's going too fast! Hold on, Henry! Oh, God. Akan's mercenaries. Put me down. Put me down! Henry. They underestimate you, okay? Let them get close and then engage. Engage! No. Henry! Fight back! Come on! No, stop it! - You stop it! Stop it! - What? - Stop it! - Estelle... No! You're a fucking rabbit in the headlights, aren't you? It's all right. I'm not here to hurt you. Is your speech module installed? Shit. Well, at least we know you're not deaf. It's all right, you can put your hands down now. 3 years I've been waiting for this moment and I get Charlie fucking Chaplin. Fuck's sake, come on! All right, let's have a look at you. Open the glove box, please. Take out that whole contraption. You gotta untangle the wires. Is that a wedding ring? Are you... are you married? How's that working out for you? Yeah, what a shocker. Right. Next, I need you to, uh, take your shirt off, please. Open up there. Yeah, those. Plug the jacks in there. Yeah, in there. So, your name's Henry and... okay, well, the good news is that you're gonna live a while. The bad news is that in this case, a while means 20, 30 minutes tops, Henry. Unless you're very, very lucky... which you are. Uncle Jimmy is gonna take you to his lab. Hang on. Ah, shit. We got bacon on our tail. Unplug yourself. Put that away. There's some clothes in there. Put the hoodie on. Shit. There's not enough time. Fuck it. Just cover the blood up with your bag. Just stay calm and let me handle this, yeah? That's how it goes... Bollocks. Fucking Akan, paying off the... I'm gonna have to hurt you, Henry, but it's for your own good, mate. Just give me your arm... Hey! Shit! It's me! It's Jimmy. We've only got a few moments until they run into they're onto us again. Okay, just give me your arm. Okay, just relax. Here it is. Here it is. Bingo! This little fucker is how they've been tracking you. Toodle-oo. In a few moments, your mechanical parts are gonna start shutting down. Your friend Akan's got an important Russian connection named Slick Dimitry. Slick handles all Akan's cops/guns/ real estate/ a lot of other shit. This helpful dot on the map... is Slick's place. All you gotta do is break in there... kill him... open up his ribcage, take out his beating heart... and fucking eat it. I'm kidding! I'm kidding. You don't have to fucking eat his heart. Under his heart is his charge pump, yeah? Bring that to me. Use this and I'll contact you on this. That has gotta be the gayest jacket I've ever seen. (SCREAMS Henry. Akan's already started. If we don't stop him, he'll have his army in days or sooner. You're half machine, half pussy. Wait, wait. I can tell you something very important, about the man who sent you here. Oi, Henry. I'm at this high-class establishment. Follow the dot and then just knock on the knocker. Get it? Knock on the knocker! Hi. I'm a fucking car, baby. Lexus convertible! Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God, that's amazing. Yeah! Fellow, you're late! You're late! The last 15 minutes... have been a fucking rollercoaster of emotions for me, mate. I didn't know if I was ever gonna see you again. So I fired up some of this shit. Fire up my fucking nose, yeah? But there you are. It's okay, Henry. You just lost power. Come on. Hey, there! Bring me some of that strong Russian shit, ladies. Okay, now where's that booster pump? Where is it? Did you get it? Did you get the fucking... Yeah! Fucking hell. This is it. This is it, yeah? Okay, hang on. Okay, hold this, lady. Shit. Okay, I gotta get this little fucker in there. Who am I kidding? I'm in no condition to do this. I'm sorry. I'm in no condition to do this, mate. I'm in no condition. I'm sorry. I'm in no condition to do this. Oh, goodness. Oh, goodness, what have you done? What have you done this time, Jimmy? Are you still conscious? Yeah. Hello. You're gonna be okay. Just gotta get a little bit of power into you. Ladies, could you give us a bit of space, please? Thank you. You're a big deal, you know? You're not the only one wronged by Akan. You and I both want the same thing. This might hurt a bit. There we go. That's wonderful. Now I can take you back to my lab. I'm Jimmy, by the way. I realize this is all very confusing for you. Um, but... it's better if I show you at the lab... Hello? Oh, spasiba. They're here. They must've followed you. I can't let them see me like this. I can't let... I'm sorry. I can't stay here, Henry. I'm sorry. Ah, shit. Fuck yeah! Fuck yeah, Akan's boys are here. I'm gonna hold them off, yeah? I'm gonna hold them off, yeah? More guns for you in the drawer, yeah? Whoo! This is fucking war, baby, yeah! Whoo! Oh, fuck yeah! I fucking had that! Go, go, go! The floor is fucking lava! I'm gonna burn it! Oh, Olga, Katya! Oh, please, please! Please don't hurt me. - I've got a family. - Is that your wife? Um, uh... Don't mind her, Henry. She's mourning her late husband. I wasn't betting on seeing you again. Your persistence is unparalleled. And quite exciting. Slick Dimitry's services were excellent. I'm just glad I never paid upfront. I'll tell Estelle you did well. Akan! Akan, open this fucking door, do you hear me? I got her all dolled up in the back of my truck downstairs. I'm gonna rip your fucking lungs out! You'll go far, Henry, unlike this piece of shit. Hey, Henry. Put your gun down. It's all good. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Peaceful, peaceful. Chill out. Calm down. Now I've shared something with you. I need you to share something with me. Where's Akan going? Now that is my ego talking to yours. What do you want... higher self, ego? Higher self, ego? - Higher self! - Higher self. Yeah. Okay. Akan's convoy are taking the girl to his base. Oh, shit. Let me handle this. Let me handle this. I'm sorry you're upset, okay? - Henry and I are gonna go deal with Akan. - Henry? Who is Henry? You wanna go on the bike? You can go on the bike. Just... You wanna go? Go on your bike. Yeah, yeah, go on your bike. Fucking hell. Sometimes it's easier just to say yes. Henry, catch! God, I thought I lost you forever, Henry. I was so scared. I was so scared when you fell. I thought I would never see you again. I love you, Henry. I love you. How sweet. If I took this moment and put it in a cup of tea, I wouldn't need sugar. Yuri, pozhaluysta. Each year, 100,000 baseball bats are sold in Russia and, at most, 50 baseballs. Gives you an idea of a great Russian pastime. This is a rare surviving bat. Estelle. Would you please be so kind and stand up? Or do you want to take her place? Estelle, your boy's quite the white knight, sacrificing himself to keep you alive only for my dick... to kill you later. Are you sure, Henry? Are you sure? Brilliant! Uh, come over here, Henry. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, Henry. You... little... pussy. Give peace a chance, brothers. My ego wants to kill you but my higher self doesn't. Jesus, baby. I was talking to that man. Look at this. Dude's got a memory blocker. Well, that's about all I can do for you, mate. Time for a reboot. See you in about 15 minutes, hopefully. Hey. He's awake. Your eyes might be a bit blurry. It's just your depth perception trying to calibrate, yeah? Follow me as I walk, yeah? Get up. Okay. All right. - Can you focus on me over here? - Yeah? Burying you. It's like burying treasure. I really don't understand what Akan is thinking because... Henry, stop dicking around. You're almost there, mate. Here's where you gotta get to. Chop Chop. Shh. It's me, Jimmy. Move. Oh, shit. Those pigs are here again. Psst! Don't compromise my lab. Let them leave. Henry, no. I'm instructing... shit. Good job, Charlie Bronson. Bravo 2-0. Lights up. Play video. Dawn of Twilight... a cyborg era. Thank you, sir. I've lobotomized everything not essential... not essential to soldiers. Personal memories, speech, sense of taste... it's all gone. May still have a bit of an issue with emotional motivation, which... Motivation? Try your fucking paycheck, James. My paych... yes, okay. - What the shit fuck, James? - I'm sorry, sir! I'm so sorry! Oh, shit! Open the doors! Please! Open the door! We've got a malfunction! Let me out, please! Uh, I'll fix it. I doubt it. Fucking idiot. You know, Jimmy, something about a spine snapping... it never gets old. - It sounds like... - The end, the beginning. Or are they the same? Have a seat, Henry. When a man is first crippled, there's always one question on everyone's mind, especially his... does his dick work? Mine didn't, so I plotted my escape from this chair. I had come to Russia when the west banned resuscitation of cadaver tissue. Akan's a megalomaniac, but my research was funded. I kept my eyes on the Nobel Prize. Who has time for icky ethics when he's rich and his cock works, eh? I paid a high price. I stopped making soldiers and then I succeeded. I grew men made of cyber flesh. Really, just fancy pants prostheses, but don't dare tell my... My avatars! Now, cyborgs, on the other hand, have bits and a brain. They think for themselves, in theory at least. Shall we have a look at you? That hippie, always with the ganja. You're not baked, are you? Hope not. Right. You are the man, Henry. There's very little actual man left, of course. Enhanced skeletal muscular systems, cardiovascular turbo boosted with a curium 244 atomic battery. A good night of sleep and you'd power an aircraft carrier. Remarkable technology, is it not? Not you. My boys. I made the first few for revenge but then I started exploring new aspects of myself. Can I have a sip? I have lived these past years, Henry. My lads, they get speeding tickets, they walk barefoot through the grass, and boy, do they get laid. You'll never guess what we do here sometimes alone. Hit play. Over there. Go on. # I got you # # Under my skin # # I got you # # Deep in the heart of me # # So deep in my heart # # That you're really a part of me # # I got you # # Under my skin # # I tried so # # Not to give in # # I say to myself this affair # # Never will go so well # # Why should I try to resist # # When baby I know so well # # I got you # # Under my skin # # I'd sacrifice anything... What are you doing? Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Something's wrong with you. Don't worry, it's not the clap or nothing. Just gotta sit you down in this chair and take a look at you, yeah? The scan says you're in terrible danger. Of being shivved for being a traitor, you lying grasser! I'm shutting you down, mate. Put down the proto baby. Now! We tried to unplug you nicely even though we knew that you beamed your video to Akan. No? What's this? What's that? You're broadcasting it that to Akan! Enough! Enough. Even if I did believe you, you still have to... Oh! Henry, no! No! You brought them to my lab! I trusted you! Henry, please kill me? Akan won't. He'll make me live in this straightjacket of rotten, smelly skin! What the fuck was I thinking, that Akan's toy robot was my friend? Thank you, Henry. Fuck you, too, but mostly thanks. My lab's compromised, but I can build a new one using Akan's equipment when we go get your wife... together, right? Hey, put that on the wall. If I can't have my lab, no one's having her. Now, don't lose this. Fuck you, Akan. And don't change your channel. We're coming right over. Right, I counted six vehicles. That's at least 35 men. We've gotta cut them down to half that before they enter the hotel to give us a fighting chance to get out alive. Also, there's a certain stigma attached to blokes who like musicals. I just wanna get it out there right now that I'm straight as an arrow. Got it? Here they come. Wait for it. Wait for it. Now. Right, cover me. Fuck, they're in the hotel. We don't need the sniper anymore either. Go inside. See the colonel. Over here, laddie. Arm yourself to the teeth. Don't touch that. Emma Gee is mine. That's what my father used to say... 'A grenade a day keeps the enemy at bay.' Come along. Chop, chop. Big Sally. Well, home is where the battle is. Private, it is our duty to ensure that no harm comes to the cripple, understood? Follow on. If you can hear them, but you can't shoot them, you can probably grenade them. Drop an egg down there, laddie. Forward. Come along. Good Lord, how embarrassing. Dodged a bullet on that one. I'll cover you. You go around them. Don't let the cripple get below you, laddie! Jolly good. Hold on, wait. Help me with the cripple. Retreat five paces back on my command, laddie. Spasibo, Yuri. My quarters are actually up there. - Would you like to see them? - Oh, we will. Indeed. Don't spare the horses. Take the next slipway. Off, here. Here we go. Hang on, laddie. Let's turn the tables on these buggers. Tally ho. Big Ben. Akan is a cunt! Oh, my. Looks like Akan's already begun. By tomorrow, these poor chaps will be super robotic soldiers like yourself. Look out! On your feet, lad. On your left. Hang on. I'm gonna buy you some time! Seal the door. Can't tell you the number of times I've dreamt that I was riding up in this lift. It's a pity I can't... It's just the landing gear, laddie. Now, listen to me. When you kill Akan, I want you to look him right in those eyes until the rest of him is just as dead as they are, understood? No, I'm afraid I shall not be coming with. But you letting me get you this far has given an old sweat his grandest gift in all his years. No. It's lodged in his jugular. If you uncork it, I won't be able to... The thingamajig in your pocket, quickly. Afraid I have a confession to make. See, I've been surveilling Akan for years. So when you dropped down onto that roadway and went rogue so magnificently, well, all I saw was my shot at revenge. You proved me right with Dimitry, but then in the forest, well, I noticed an implant. A memory block, see? And I couldn't afford to have you remember a better life somewhere else. So I left it in. Not my finest hour, I'm afraid. But then back at my lab... while I was trying to analyze... what you could do for me... I realized who you are... to me, Henry. It's bloody nice having a friend, Henry. You'd think all those deaths would've prepared me for this. If you haven't already, you'll start to remember bits from your past now, Henry. And those memories, they're real. They're you. Trust them. Memories, memories, memories. My first batch of cyber soldiers. With everything that you have experienced today uploaded into what's left of their brains, all they remember is waking up in the lab with their wife screwing their legs on. I love you, Charlie. I love you, Edward. I love you, Thomas. You recognize these? No? That's odd. They're your wife's. Mm, I smell what you like about her. This one is almost ready for you. But I'm warning you, their boosters make the one you have... You look like a fucking 9 volt. Go ahead and fuck him up. Get up. Get up! Can you handle this? Henry. Why are you hitting yourself, Henry? Hmm? Baby? Baby, are you okay? I love how protective you are of me. - You owe me an apology. - For? Doubting me. - I did have certain apprehensions. - Why'd you let me do it? I was just entertaining my woman and losing all of my men. Is everybody dead? - Yes. - Yes. Do you know when I realized this was working? When? When Henry pulled me into the escape pod, trying to get me out of the lab no matter what. Who would've thought that pussy is a hell of a motivator? We'll have a hundred of you tomorrow, a thousand next week. Each one's first memory will be his wife slipping a cheap brass ring on his finger. Every single one of my soldiers will awake willing to do anything my brilliant wife tells him, whether it's marching on Paris or the White House lawn. I would like to pretend you understand the part you played. You didn't make history, Henry. You helped end it. You... little... pussy. That's what my old man called me. It's like it was my name. And I proved him right by killing all the wrong people. I love you, Henry, and I'll never call you anything but your name, but you gotta decide... are you gonna lay there, swallow that blood in your mouth? Or are you gonna stand up, spit it out... and go spill theirs? - Akan! - You fuck... No! Stop! I am ordering you to stop! Henry! Stop! Where is he? No. Fuck you, motherfucker! Fuck you! How could you do this to me, Henry? How could you fucking do this? Answer me! Answer me! Motherfucker! What happened, Henry? You were supposed to love me. Henry! Henry! Listen to your heart! Hello, Henry. Well, if you're hearing this, there's one more thing I need you to do. Hey? You... little... pussy.. Hello, Henry. You can't speak, but that's normal. No, that isn't normal, but only temporary, okay? Do you remember how you got here? That's fine. It's normal, too. Henry, wait. Wait. We'll get there. Scan. Sensory processor activated. Relax. Okay? Scanning. - Video link confirmed. - Up. This next part might hurt. Maybe quite a lot. But it won't last long, I promise. Almost we have done. Welder. You can do it. Wonderful, Henry. Squeeze. Harder. Cool, right? Integument. Please, don't move your hand. You probably don't recall. You were never a big fan of my work. Maybe this will change your mind. Right? Memory is a funny thing. I am an expert and I do not know if you'll ever get yours back. You don't remember me at all, do you, Henry? My name is Estelle. You and I were... We still are... Husband and wife. I love you, Henry. I can't wait to hear you saying it. - Henry. - His memories are stil catching up with him. Oh, Jesus. I'm Robbie. - The sorcerer of sound. - You're gonna love this. Because, sir... You're gonna get to pick your own voice. Thank you. Thank you very much. Hello, Henry. - Robbie. - Come on, they're options. Our white guy would wanna sound like Louis Armstrong? Just one more, wait. Henry, I am your father. Robert, enough. - Sorry, mom. - How about we use Henry's voice? Yeah, whatever you say, you're the boss. Boring. - Security breached. - Oh, fuck. - Level Four. - Is this a drill? - What is this? - Security breach. Level Four. - Lock the door. - This is prime estate. - Estelle, call the base. - Security breach. Level Four. - Clear. - Clear. - Clear. - Clear. - Clear. - Clear. Oh, no. Yes. Thank you. Get up. Henry, right? - Please. Don't... - Shut up. What do you like the new, you? Did I interrupted the procedure? Can Henry not talk? No, you... You can't. No. Don't look at me like that, Henry. Your girlfriend here might have built you, but I gave her the raw materials to work with. And I mean really, really raw materials. - What's your name? - Timothy. Nice to meet you Timothy. Did you see Henry when Estelle brought his remains here? Yeah. Would you, please, be so kind to describe them... to better understanding of how good it looks now? Sure. His arm was shot off below the elbow... and the leg shot off below the knee. - And there was a... - Did you happen to see his head? - Yes. - Do tell. The skull was dented in and there was this, um... His eyes were missing and, um... the bottom half of his jaw was shredded to pieces. Just all right. I'm bleeding, too. That was a little extraneous. Stay close. Henry! Hurry up! Close it. Henry, come on! Henry, try to keep up! Come on. Kick it in. Come on. If Akan gets a hold of my work, Men like these will be brought out from the dead to form his army. Go! Henry, no! Henry! Take my hand! Escape pod initiated. - There are two pods. - One. - Marty? - Sorry. The man's clearly gone insane. Marty, no! Henry. - It's yours, get in. - Estelle! Get in. Get in! Escape pod initiated. - Altitude. Altitude. Altitude. - The parachute! The parachute! - Pull the chute! - Altitude. It's going too fast! It's going too fast! Hold on, Henry! Oh, God. Akan's mercenaries. Put me down. Put me down. Henry. They underestimate you, okay? - Let them get closer and then engage. - Akan, this one's a feeble piece of shit. Engage! No. Henry, fight back! Come on! - No! Stop it! - Your boyfriend is not a killing machine - ...you hoped for. - Henry! But you built a great punching bag. - You stop it! Stop it! - What? - You stop it! - Estelle... Aren't you curious what this fucker will do to this fucker? No! Henry! You're a fucking rabbit and headless, aren't you? I'm not here to hurt you. Is your speech module installed? Shit. Well, at least we know you're not deaf. It's alright, you can put your hands down now. Three years, I've been waiting for this moment... and I get Charlie fucking Chaplin. For fuck's sake, come on! Well, let's have a look, chick. Open the glove-box, please. And get that whole contraction. You gotta untangle the wires. Is that a wedding ring? Are you...? Are you married? How's that working out for you? Yes, poor shocker. Bright. Next, I need you to, uh... take your shirt off. Please. Open up there. Yeah, those. Plug the jacksin there. Yeah, in there. So your name's Henry and... Okay, what a good news is that you gonna a while. Bad news is that in this case, "a while" means 20, 30 minutes tops, Henry. Unless you're very, very lucky. Which you are. Uncle Jimmy is gonna take you to his lab. Hang on. Ah, Shit. We got ? on our tail. Unplug yourself. Put that away. There's no clothes in here. Put the hoodie on. There's no enough time, fuck. Just cover the blood up with the your bag. Just stay calm and let me handle this here? Maybe we can skip right to the fine? So... Shit. Fucking Akan paying... Do you know what's wrong with Mother Russia? Too goddamn hot. Too goddamn hot. Too goddamn hot. As you wish. I used to be in charge of all this shit. And now... I'm gonna have to hurt you, Henry, but it's for your own good, mate. Just give me your arm, son. Hey! Shit! Henry, it's Jimmy. We've only got few moments until they won't let us escape, mate. Okay, just give me your arm. Okay, just relax. Here he is. Here he is. Bingo! This little fucker is how they've been tracking you. Goodbye. In a few moments... your mechanical parts are gonna start shutting down. Your friend Akan's got an important Russian connection named Slick Dimitry. Slick handles all Akan's cops, guns, real estate ? , lot of shit. This (helpful? ) dot on the map. It is Slick's place. All you gotta do is break in there, kill him, open up his rib-cage, take out his beating heart... and fucking eat it. I'm kidding! I'm kidding, don't you fucking eat his heart . Under his heart is his charge pump? Yeah? Bring that to me. Use this and I'll contact you on this. That's going to be the greatest jacket I've ever seen. Great jacket! Where can I get one? I'll be in touch! Hey, you. Come here! You got a lighter? What the fuck you think I have arms for? You're free to go now. - You want a smoke? - Yes. Henry, Akan's already started. If we do not stop him, he'll have his army in days or sooner. You're half machine, half pussy. Wait, wait. I can tell you something very important... about the man who sent you here. Oi, Henry. I'm at this high class establishment. Follow the door and then just knock on the knocker. Get it? Knock on the knocker! Ella. Ella, you whore. Take him to Jimmy. Is this Jimmy? Hi. I'm a fucking car, baby. A Lexus convertible! I'm going back in there. That thing's destroyer-class. - It feels good. - Yeah, yeah. Oh God, that's amazing. Yes! Fuck, you're late! You're late! The last 15 minutes.. I've been a fucking roller coaster of emotions, mate. I didn't know if I was ever gonna see you again. So I lit some of this. I fired on my nerves damn you, you know? And there you are. It's okay. You've just lost power. Come on. Hey, bring me some of this strong Russian shit, girls. Okay, now where is that ... pump? Where's that? Did you get it? Did you get the fucking...? Yeah? Fuck you, no! This is it. This is it, yeah. Okay. Okay, hold this, lady. Shit. Okay, we gotta get this little fucker in there. Whom I kidding with? I'm not in condition to do this. I'm sorry, I'm in no condition to do this, mate. I'm in no condition. I'm sorry. I'm in no condition to do this. What's wrong with his hand? Who is he? Is he a robot? He's cute. I know how to make him feel better. No, I know a better way. Lift him up. Oh, goodness. Oh, goodness, what have you done? What are you doing this time, Jimmy? He's still conscious? Yes. Hello. You'll be fine. You just gotta get a little bit power. Ladies, could you give us a little space, please? Thank you. You're a big deal, you know? You're not the only one wronged by Akan. You and I want the same thing. This might hurt a bit. Here we go. That's wonderful. Now we can take you back to my lab. I'm Jimmy, by the way. I realize this is very confusing for you. But it's better if I show you at the lab. Hello? Oh, thank you. They're Here. They must have followed you. I can't... I can't let them see me like this. I can't let... I'm sorry. I can't stay here, Henry. I'm sorry. Shit! Fuck ,yes! Fuck, yes. I've boys. I'm gonna hold them off, yeah? I'm gonna hold them off, yeah? More guns see you in the drawer, yes? This is fucking war, baby. Yes! Oh yeah! Hi, ladies! No, the lower one. Bye-bye. I fucking have got it! I'm not with them! I'm not with them! Go, go, go! Run, run, run! The floor is lava! I gonna burn this... Oh, Katya! Jimmy, you asshole! Please, please! Please, don't hurt me. - I've got a family. - Is that your wife? Don't mind Harry Henry. She's mourning her dead husband. I was not betting on seeing you again. Your persistence is incomparable. You're quite exciting. Slick Dimitry's services were excellent. I'm just glad I never paid at front. I'll tell Estelle you did itwell. Akan! Akan, open this fucking door Do you hear me? I gotta hurt all old dump in back of my truck downstairs. I'll rip your lungs! You go far Henry, unlike this piece of shit. Hi, Henry. Put the gun down. So good. Hey, hey, hey. Peaceful. Peaceful. Chill out, calm down. As I'm sharing something with you, I need you to share something with me. Where is Akan? You want Akan? Here's your Akan. - And here's your Akan. - Fuck, Shit. That is my ego talking to yours. What do you want? Higher-self? Ego? Higher-self? Ego? - Higher-self! - Higher-self. Yes. Okay. Akan is taking the girl to his building. Shit. Let me handle this. Let me handle this. What the fuck have you done? All our girls are dead! - Okay, ladies... - Okay? - Alright, just... - It ain't fucking okay! - Who were those guys? - What do you mean alright? - He is telling us to relax? - Are you telling us to relax? - Henry? Who is Henry? - You saw what happened up there? - Sorry you are upset, okay? - What the fuck are you looking at? - Henry and I are going to do with Akan. - Henry? Who is Henry? - Did you see what happened upstairs? - Did you see what you did? - We'll go with you to destroy them! - That fag white hair is dead. You wanna go on a bike? You can go on a bike. Just... You wanna go? - Okay, go on your bike, yeah, yeah, go on your bike. - We have our own bikes. Fucking hell. Sometimes it is easy just to say "yes". Henry, catch it! Oh, God. I thought I'd lost forever Henry. I was so scared. I was so scared and you fell. I thought I'd never see you again. I love you, Henry. I love you. How sweet. If I took this moment and put it in a cup of tea. I wouldn't need sugar. Yuri, please. We can go now. Every year, 100000 baseball bats are sold in Russia. And at most, 50 baseballs. Gives an idea of a great Russians pastime? This is a rare, survived bat. Estelle. Would you, please, be so kind and stand up? No. Or you wanna take her place? Estelle, your boy is quite a knight. Sacrificing himself to keeping you alive. Only for my dick... to kill you later. Are you sure, Henry? Are you sure? - I didn't hear a "no". - Brilliant! Come over here, Henry. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, Henry. You... little... pussy. Gentlemen, please go check that shit out. Freeze! Give peace a chance, brothers. My ego wants to kill you but higher-self doesn't. Jesus, baby. She was talking to the man. Shit. Look at this. Dude's got memory lock on. Well, that's all I can do for you, mate. Time for a reboot. See you in about 15 minutes, hopefully. Hey. He's awake. You might see a bit blurry. It's just your depth perception trying to calibrated, yeah? Follow me as I walk, yeah? Get up. Okay. Alright. Now. Can you focus only over here? - Yeah? - Yeah. Burying you is like burying treasure. I really don't understand what Akan's think because... Henry, stop kicking around. You're almost there, mate. Here's where you gotta get to. .... It's Me, Jimmy. Move. Ah, shit! Those pigs are here again. Don't compromise my lab! Let them leave. Baby, the gag reflex is psychological. It's all in your head. Henry, no! I'm instructing you... Shit! Go. Good job, Charlie Bronson. Bravo 2-0. Lights up. Play video. Dawn of twilight... a cyborgs era. Thank you, sir. I've lobotomy everything not essential.. Not essentials for a soldier. Personal memories, speech, sense of taste, it's all gone. Might still have a bit of an issue with emotional motivation, which... Motivation? Try your fucking paycheck, James? My paycheck. Yes, okay. - What the shit. Fuck, James? - I'm sorry, sir. I am so sorry. Shit, open the door. Please, open the door. We have a fault. Let me out, please, sir. I'll fix it. I doubt it. Fucking idiot. You know, Jimmy, there is something about spine snapping That never gets old. - It sounds like... - The end, the beginning. Or all there's same? Have a seat, Henry. When a man cripples, there's always one question in everyone's mind, Especially in his, "Does his dick works?" Mine didn't, so I plotted my escape from this chair. - Mommy! CometoMama. What did Dad? What were you thinking? Wait here. Hannah! Hannah,shejust It fell in the mud. It'sfullof mud,David. She'sfine. That They can be washed. Put it down. -FortheloveofGod. - Put it down It's just dirt, it's fine. Give me your palette, treasure. Alice did not know who was. So she's Alice. David,itis alwayssomething. whynotme like to leave with you. Childrenfall. Alice? Why did not you wait presented to you? Than? They teach all days in the kids room not to talk to strangers. Four years old. How I am supposed to know who you are? Do you have any idea how much It has taken me time to negotiate just see it unsupervised in a public space? - But David, fell off! - Expected more from you, Alice. I'm sorry... Alice? You lied about your name. The Most swingers do. You have an STD, right? Do not. Worse, you're a journalist. If you do not understand do you want to talk to me. Actually, it's time tell my story. I have cancer. Sinus and glands. If it removed, not would be nothing left of me. I tried to get me this blow away. Did you ever have children? Good... You have to understand that it was the principle of the life of a woman, family planning ... Many of us did things that in retrospect ... Abortion. Adoption. I gave my daughter. My mother told me that was the worst mistake I ever made. Is a terrible thing what he said. If I were your mother I would be very proud of you. Alice, long time was a lost soul. I did not know who he was. One night a drunk date party and went into a dark room, and I let a stranger me cogiera until disappeared. There were no names or faces, only touch. Sometimes when you're lost, when you're totally lost, It is when you you find yourself. Darkens the eyes of all and write up jobs. Plumber, IT consultant, Mrs. cleaning, accountant ... Dolly in part front and in the middle. "Queen of the swingers" or something like that. The final at the hotel is the icing on the cake. You go there as a couple and takes all photos. Orgies, ugly, sex anal ... all those weird. Do not. What do you mean "no"? Much time and money She has been invested in this. We're about to print. If I do this, I will my way by myself. Alice, could talk at least? Where are you going now? I have to finish my story. You like stories, right? What's what you want from me, Alice? It's very simple. Are we going to stay together and grow old despite all this shit or not? Because if not, then we are losing time. Alice, I love you. Just you and me. And we'll see how it turns out, yes? Just let me get the hell out. What, just you going? Well, turn around. Hi dear. Nice to see you! Hi. Enjoy the party. Thank you. Hi. Hi. I believe that I'm on the list. - What is your name? - Alice Lopez. L.O.P.E.Z. Just you? You'rea badboy, I told you. What do you say? -Here! - What are you saying ? Do you know what room is this? You have to take your clothes off. Only heels. You can take it off in there. Hi,thisis Alice. Please, leave a message after the ... Sorry, no tip. Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry friend. private function. Dolly! Dolly, Hello, I'm David. Okay, he's coming with me. How wonderful to see you! I'm looking for Alice. I have not seen, dear. Why do not you see? Mrs. Munter, is fantastic. Between. All come, not stand there in the cold. Getoutof here! No boys allowed! Female dog! I am looking for my partner. It's a little high, has a ponytail. It is called Alice. No names are used here, friend. There's nothing to see. You can switch there. Sorry, I said you could change you there. Sorry, I'm in a hurry. Stockings too, please. Chupahisballs. Alice,areyouhere? Yes! Alice! Letme, I also want to lick them. -Justbe carefulwhatyoudo. - I'll, I'll keep . Alice,tellme something,please. Comehere,I'llbeyour Alice. Pleasestoptouchingme. Alice! Please,baby. Moreharder,harder! Turnonthelights! -Turnon thelights! - For the love of God, old BANANA-meter! BANANA-parking meter, Alice! Enough, you have to go! Putoutthefuckinglights! Hey you, out. David. - Let's stop. - God, where were you? Ithoughtyouweresomeoneelse. What are you doing in there? I'm looking for you! Listen, can you go from here? Just get out of there, right? Let'sbettersauna. Well, leave now or I call managers. Alice! Alice! Please please. Come, let's go here. - Come here! - David, hey! I will not let you escapes again, Alice. If you want to start again, then you have to do with me. Just you and me and Amy. And we'll be fine. - I love you, Alice. - I'm pregnant, David. Jesus Christ, Alice. I want to have this baby. Alice ... Of course we will, Alice. What about work and money? I do not know. We can move the country, so I can grow carrots. - You are not afraid? - I'm scared to death. But you'll be a mom, Alice. Look at us, Daddy. - Wettie Betty. - Bad Dog. InMemoryofDollyAdams 1952-2012 -:-[ InAxel7902]-: - JEANNE: Peace. Long ago, before The Founders established this great city of ours, that word was all but meaningless. An ideal as elusive as a dream. Now, 200 years later, we are, all of us, living proof that peace is indeed attainable. The reason for this is, of course, our Faction System. Erudite, Dauntless, Amity, Candor, Abnegation. In dividing people according to personality and aptitude, we've created a society in which each faction plays a critical role in maintaining the social order. But this harmony we've achieved is now under attack from a small but extremely dangerous group -of individuals. -(INDISTINCT CHATTER) We call them Divergents. They are, in essence, the worst of what humanity used to be. Rebellious, defiant and uncontrollable. Five days ago, a rogue group of Divergents, posing as Dauntless brutally invaded Abnegation. An obvious attempt to cripple the Faction System by attacking its most vulnerable members. These Divergents despise our system because they are incapable of conforming to it. These latest rumors, for example, that I was somehow behind the attack on Abnegation? Nothing more than Divergent propaganda. I am devoting myself to bringing these fugitives to justice. I've exercised my right -as acting Council leader... -(WOMEN SCREAMING) ...to declare martial law until I'm confident that any threat to our security has been eliminated. Tell Jeanine we got it. JEANINE: We are all that is left of humanity. The vast wall that encloses this city may protect us from our toxic surroundings, but it is up to us to confront any element that could poison us from within. Because, when you are civilization's last hope, peace is not merely an ideal. It is an obligation. And it is up to all of us to take a stand against its one true enemy, Divergents. (TRIS PANTING) (BIRDS CAWING) (PANTING) Amity. We need to make sure it's clear. Tris! Help us. Please help us. Please. Please help us. You have to help us. JOHANNA: Sorry, you have to leave. You just don't belong here. CHRISTINA: It's all her fault. You killed Will. - No. -(PEOPLE MURMURING) ALL: (WHISPERING) She killed him. She killed him. She killed him. She killed him. Mama. Mama. You killed us all. Will! -(GUNSHOT ECHOES) -(GASPS) (PANTING) (SIGHS IN RELIEF) (BIRDS CAWING) (CHILDREN SHOUTING) And three! BOY: Higher! Hey. BOY: Higher! Higher! FOUR: Wanna go higher? All right, everyone, back to class. Let's go. FOUR: Okay. Here we go. (GRUNTS) See ya. Bye. (CHILDREN SHOUTING GLEEFULLY) I just wanted to do something different. Yeah. Well, it's definitely different. (BOTH CHUCKLE) You don't like it? No, I like it. I like it a lot. I'm just surprised, that's all. What's goin' on, Tris? Nothin'. I'm fine. Just... Still having nightmares? No. We're good. You and me. I know nothing else is. But we are. WOMAN ON PA: Good morning, and have a blessed day. (SIGHS) Time for chores. WOMAN". All planters, report to the dome. All planters to the dome. (TRIS LAUGHING) TRIS: How much longer do we have to stay here, Four? FOUR: Until we know it's safe to leave. FOUR: Hey. TRIS: Hi. MARCUS: Son... You can't ignore me forever. I know you're thinkin' about your next move, but there are things you don't know. Marcus, please just leave us alone. Your mother didn't come back to Abnegation just to save you. She died trying to hide something from Jeanine. Something that was entrusted to Abnegation a long time ago. Marcus, stop. Whatever you want from us, you're not gonna get it. I'm not the enemy here. You found it. It was in the home of Natalie and Andrew Prior, like you said. Mind telling me what's inside? A message from The Founders that will ensure the future our people deserve. Divergents will destroy our society. Unless we destroy them. And now we can. However, only a Divergent can open this box. Find them. Every last one of them. (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) MAN: Go with happiness. Go with happiness. - Go with happiness. -Thank you. Go with happiness. Go with happiness. I really don't know how much longer I can do this whole peace and love thing. It's the Amity way, all right? We're just trying to blend in. Mus SCOFFS) I'm trying to blend in. It's just not working. PETER: Comin' through on your right. Okay, here we go. Hey, look, a rainbow. - Oh. -it's pretty. WOMAN: Go with happiness. Virtual pathological friendliness with unquestioned passivism? I love this place. Thank you. Go with happiness. Oops, excuse me. Hey, Tris, I really like your hair, by the way. Did you try to cut it all short and weird like that? Peter, why don't you take your food and sit down, huh? Or what? Besides, I think we should all stick together now that we're -all officially fugitives. -TRIS: Shh. Wait, what do you mean, "officially fugitives"? - Oh, you don't know? -Let's go, let's go. You didn't tell Caleb? Yeah, so now Jeanine is saying that the attack on Abnegation was orchestrated by a group of renegade Divergents and their sympathizers. So then they're blaming this whole thing on us? Yeah. Jeanine needed a reason to petition the Council to institute martial law. Now she has one. (CHUCKUNG) Staying here at Amity is still our best option for now. We need to keep an ear to the ground. Find out where the rest of the Dauntless are. Then we can make a move. We need to kill Jeanine. I know. But we're not ready yet. (SIGHS) Beatrice, you're not being serious, right? No, I am being serious. I'm not gonna stop until she's dead. Tris, you can't just go around killing people. No, she's right. Listen to your sister. Tris, I think you should go to Erudite and kill Jeanine yourself. I'll stay with Caleb so that you don't get him killed, too. What? PETER: Come on, you know. Like you did your parents. (BOTH GRUNTING) FOUR: Come on! What do you think you're doing? My office. Now. Enjoy your meal, everyone. Enjoy your meal. Calm down. Just calm down. Was I not clear that the terms of your sanctuary here included nonviolence? I can guarantee you nothing like this will ever happen again. Well, be that as it may, you can no longer stay here with us. Your presence is just too disruptive. Truth is that our sanctuary was never gonna last very long here anyways. Was it? With you not standing up to Jeanine. (SCOFFS) You don't understand us at all. TRIS: No, I do understand you. I understand that you think you can stay out of this. But you can't. One day she's gonna show up and Jeanine is gonna take whatever power you think you have away from you. FOUR: Tris, Tris... (INHALES DEEPLY) FOUR: Look, Johanna, we need a little more time. I need to find out where the rest of the Dauntless are. Then we can leave. And then what? Attack Erudite? I will not be a party to violence. FOUR: And no one's asking you to. We just need a few more days. One. One what? One more chance. See, to be Amity is to forgive. Others. And yourself. You're hurting, Tris. And my heart goes out to you. I know what it's like to stand helpless while you lose the ones you love. But killing Jeanine is not going to bring your mother back. I know you're angry. But you're letting it consume you. (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) - JOHANNAI What is it? -(VEHICLES APPROACHING) Stay here. And keep quiet. (INDISTINCT CHATTER) JOHAN NA: Gentlemen, Amity welcomes you. To what do we owe the pleasure? This isn't really a social call, Johanna. We're looking for Divergents. I see. Well, of course, anything we can do to help. Gonna need you to volunteer your faction to be tested. New screening technology -from Erudite. - ELECTRONIC VOICE: Amity... Now that Jeanine's heading up the Council, the approval process just got a little easier. You're exceeding your jurisdiction. Now, Johanna, what happened to that Amity politeness? The easy way or the hard way? It's up to you. All right. But under protest. Okay, we're good to go! Move it out! Round 'em up. MAN: In the dome. MALE ANNOUNCER ON PA: All Amity report to the dome for new mandatory testing. Please proceed to the dome for mandatory testing. SOLDIER 1: In the building. Let's go. Get inside. - Line up. -(WOMEN SCREAMING) Let's go. Move it. SOLDIER 21 This way. SOLDIER 31 Line it up. MAN: Building secured. ERIC: You know something, lady? You seem awfully stuck in that doorway. (LAUGHS) Eric's here. We need to move now. Come on. What's up there? -(WHISPERING) Wait, stop. -JOHANNA: Just my office. (HORSE WHINNYING) (WHISPERING) Go, g0, 90! Hmm. Hey. There's two guards with guns. We're going out the window? We need to split up. Okay, yeah. Okay. Every man for themselves. Good. 'Hey, they're up here! Hey! -FOURI Go, 90, go, go! Eric, they're up here! Come on, they're getting away! All right, you ready? (ALL GRUNTING) FOUR: Let's go. - Where? -Out the window. I got three on foot making a break toward the dome. - ELECTRONIC VOICE: Divergent. -Got one. ERIC ON RADIO: I repeat, three on foot toward the dome. Over there! - I demand amnesty! -Get down! Now! I'm the leader of Abnegation! It is my right! (PEOPLE SCREAMING) Detain him! - Whoa. Okay. All right. -SOLDIER: Let's go. Oh, oh. Ow. Come on. (VEHICLES APPROACHING) Come on, keep moving. Come on! Come on! Come on. Let's go)! (PANTING) FOUR: Keep going. Come on. (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING) FOUR: Listen! CALEB: What? TRIS: Train! - FOUR: Go, go, go! -(GUNFIRE) Go! Come on! Caleb! Keep moving! Go! Ammo! Come on, come on! Go! Go! Move! (GRUNTING) Move! Go, go, g0! Caleb! Move! (GRUNTS) (ALL PANTING) (DOOR OPENS) Oh, you folks sure know how to make an entrance. (SIGHS) FOUR: Factionless. EDGAR: Amity? But you stand like Dauntless. No idea what this one is. Look, we just need to get to the city, that's all. Well, too bad. Train's taken. And you damaged our cargo. CALEB: These are Abnegation fabric bolts. And you're Factionless, right? - Caleb. -I used to be Abnegation. We used to use those same bolts to make clothes for you. You're saying that we're stealing from you? No. No, no, no. I'm no longer Abnegation. So technically you're not stealing from me, but... (STAMMERS) No, you're not stealing at all. I mean, maybe. It's a question of semantics, I suppose, whether it's stealing or charity. (STAMMERING) But it's all really the same. TRIS: That's enough! Get off! Everybody, relax. All right, you made your point. We'll get off your train, all right? Got you. Will just everybody relax, okay? Why don't we, uh, take a seat! (GRUNTS) - TRIS: Caleb! -(ALL CLAMORING) - FOUR: Stop! -I'm sorry, - I was just trying to help. -Don't! Oh, yeah, this is gonna be fun, isn't it? Everybody, just calm down. All right? Oh. (ALL GRUNTING) (YRS GRUNTING) (MAN SCREAMING) (SCREAMS) (WHIMPERING) (MAN GROANS) (SCREAMS) (GRUNTING) (SCREAMS) (PANTING) Caleb. Ahhh! TRIS: No! Get off of me! Get off! You all right? You okay? Yeah. (ALL PANTING) Tobias Eaton. You say that again. Tobias Eaton. What? You know him? I am him. (LAUGHING) We have been looking for you. Four, what are they talking about? Four. (GRUNTS) Follow me. (INDISTINCT CHATTER) CALEB: Tris. I'm sorry. I wanted to help... TRIS: Four. Four, why are they looking for you? How do they know your name? (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) (GUNS COCKING) This is Factionless? This is insane. Tobias. Mother. (WHISPERING) I thought she was dead. Me too. Someone please tell me what's going on here. Tobias' father was very abusive. I knew the only way I could ever truly escape him would be to disappear completely. Abnegation helped me fake my death. Anything to protect Marcus' image. But you just left him there alone with Marcus? I was very young- I reached out to him about a year ago. I felt it was finally time to reconnect. (LAUGHS) I'm still your mother. No, my mother's dead. I went to her funeral when I was six. And she wasn't trying to reconnect with me. She was trying to use me, like you are now. Why? She wants an army. An army? I want an alliance. No, what you want is revenge. - This isn't about me. -(SCOFFS) It's about putting an end to a system that says one group is more deserving than another. This city may be surrounded by a wall, but it doesn't have to be a prison. - I think that's a bit extreme. -Hmm? I mean, the Faction System isn't perfect, but it's hardly a prison. Let me guess. Erudite. I was Erudite. You willing to kill Jeanine? Absolutely. When I was married to Marcus, I knew her well. And believe me, there's nothing she isn't capable of. But I think you already know that. Tris, we can't trust her. Or maybe she knows... We're on the same side, Tris. I'm Factionless because I don't fit into any one faction. And you're Divergent because you belong to too many. But we're both a threat to Jeanine. My people are ready for war, if that's what it takes. And then what? We depose those in power. And once you've done that? Once you've killed Jeanine, who's in power then? See, that's the part that she always conveniently leaves out. Don't you tell me this isn't about you. This is only about you. I know where the remaining Dauntless are hiding. Where? They took shelter in Candor. As far as I know, they're still there. Think about it. If we were to combine forces, Dauntless and Factionless, we'd be unstoppable. That's not gonna happen. Thank you for your hospitality, but we'll be leaving in the morning. Four, maybe this is... Tobias, please, reconsider. Don't you call me that. My name's Four. You wanna tuck him in, or should I? (DOOR SLAMMING) Well, this... This meal looks lovely. Thank you. I'm sorry. I should have told you about her. (SIGHS) No more secrets. Okay? (GASPS) (WHISPERING) I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. I always loved watching him sleep. I take it you're setting out for Candor in the morning? Yeah. Listen, I only want what's best for him. You hardly even know him. You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? But deep down, I think you're scared I know him all too well. I'm not scared. Of course you are. You're scared he'll finally see you for what you really are. Deadly. You don't believe me? Ask him. (PANTING) FOUR: You okay? Yeah. You sure? Yeah. I'm not coming with you guys. What? To Candor. I'm not coming with you guys. What are you talking about? What's your plan? You guys are gonna find the rest of Dauntless. Then what? You attack Erudite, assassinate Jeanine, start a civil war? I'm sorry, I'm just not... I'm not cut out for that. I'm not like you guys. I need to go back to Abnegation, maybe. Sort out what our parents left behind. At least I'd be useful there. Caleb, there's nothing left at Abnegation. Yeah. You Okay? Just need to get to Candor. Tris. I know you think Caleb is your responsibility, but he made his own choice. You can't protect everyone. (CHUCKLES) I can't protect anyone. Nobody can. Him leaving isn't your fault. None of this is your fault. (SIGHS) Johanna was right. You have to forgive yourself. Thank you. WOMAN ON PA: All factions have been instructed to -maintain a strict curfew until further notice. - We gotta move. Repeat. All factions have been instructed to maintain a strict curfew until further notice. - We found them. -Yeah. - HECTOR: Four! -(ALL GREETING) Damn, is it good to see you guys. How are you, Uriah? I'm better now. I'm not exactly built for laying low. - Tris! -Christina. - It's so good to see you. -CHRISTINA: You too. Have you heard anything about Will? - No. -Nothing? No. Something must have happened to him. He would have found me by now, you know? _H€Y- _H€Y- How you holdin' up? How many Dauntless do we have? Hundred and seventy-five. Total. Hundred and seventy-five? That's it? The rest followed Max. Not near the numbers we need. - No. -MAN: Hold it! Drop your guns. Whoa, hey. They're with us. We know who you are. Last warning. Drop your guns. FOUR: All right. Easy. I'm Jack Kang. I'm leadership here. Yeah, we know who you are. And we're not a threat to Candor. That might be your truth. It's not necessarily mine. All I know for certain is you're both wanted for criminal insurgency and conspiring in the attack on Abnegation. Those are lies. If you were Candor, I would take you at your word. Unfortunately, given the circumstances, I'm obliged to hand you over to the Council. You can make your case there. You might as well just kill us now. If Jeanine finds us, we're not gonna live to stand trial. I doubt that very much. She would never supersede the Council. Sure about that? Who's gonna stop her? You? Factional law must be upheld. All right, wait, wait, wait. Can I ask you one question? (GRUNTS) Can I ask you one question? Jeanine believes that Erudite are most fit to govern because they are the smartest. Do you believe that Candor is most fit to judge because you're so honest? I admit I do hold that belief. Then would you say that a trial held here at Candor would be inherently more fair than a trial held by Erudite? Hmm. The answer is yes. In my opinion, a Candor trial would have the greatest chance of achieving true justice. So are you asking me to petition the Council to grant Candor sole judiciary power? No. As part of Candor's initiation, you administer a truth serum. Correct? We don't typically discuss such matters out of faction. That's a pretty evasive answer. Evasion is not dishonest. It's not exactly honesty either. Yes. We possess such a serum. Then use it on us. - Four. -if we're guilty, we'll surrender to the Council. All right? If not, you've just saved two lives. And made some loyal allies. JACK: All right. But you should know that the serum can be quite brutal. It was designed for Candor applicants who are already predisposed to honesty. Not everyone finds it so easy to share their secrets. Don't wanna do this. We have to. Neither of us have secrets worth dying for. (INDISTINCT WHISPERING) May the truth set you free. (BREATHING HEAVILY) JACK: (DISTORTED) Tobias Eaton, you are accused of conspiring with your fellow Dauntless in the attack on Abnegation. Is this true? Conspiring, no. But I did attack. I was in a simulation controlled by Jeanine and the rest of the Dauntless that she recruited. Tris found me. She managed to break me free from the simulation, and then together we... Together we fought our way out. So you're saying that Jeanine orchestrated this attack? Yes. One last thing. If you suspected that Jeanine had corrupted Dauntless, why didn't you just leave? Why did you stay? (BREATHING HEAVILY) I wanted 110 leave. But I fell in love with Tris Prior. And I couldn't leave her. Thank you for your candor. ALL: Thank you for your candor. JACK: Tobias Eaton, this trial is concluded. And you are absolved of guilt in the attack on Abnegation. Miss Prior, if you would. May the truth set you free. Tris Prior, Mr. Eaton said you managed to free him from the sim. TRIS: Yes. JACK: So you were never under the simulation yourself? No. How is that possible? Because I'm Divergent. (PEOPLE MURMURING) I see. So you never harmed any of your fellow Dauntless or the Abnegation? (BREATHING HEAVILY) I did. Both. Who? (SNIFFLING) My mom. Um... I watched her die first. And then my dad. They were killed trying to save me. And... I... (STRAINING) Miss Prior, the more you resist, the more painful the serum will be. TRIS: OW! My friend... I killed my friend. He was trying to shoot me. And I... (SOBBING) I shot him first. What was his name? I can't. What was his name? Will. I killed Will. 'Cause that's what happens to people when they get close to me. They get hurt or they die. I can't forgive myself. Thank you for your candor. ALL: Thank you for your candor. (SOBBING) Tris. Tris. I'm sorry, all right? I told you that I didn't wanna do that. Hey... - Christina... -Go. Go. (WOMAN GROANING) ELECTRONIC VOICE: Abnegation sim complete. Dauntless sim initiating. MAN: Ma'am, the Divergent's vitals are dropping. If we don't pull her out of the sim soon, we'll lose her. You'll stop when I say so. She's gonna do it. She's gonna pass the sim. ELECTRONIC VOICE: Dauntless sim failed. MAN: Divergent Test Subject Six is no longer viable. (SIGHS) All right, shut it down. Wasting our time. I've been assuming that all Divergents are the same. But some are much stronger than others. Assign all non-essential personnel to the Divergent detail. We need to look harder. We need to find that very special one. Where's your scary boyfriend? Probably off doing scary boyfriend things. Mind if I join you? I love heights. From up here, it all just seems so much smaller, you know? I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes I think I see lights out beyond the wall. I know they say it's all just wasteland out there, but... We can't be the only ones left. - Can we? -(GUNFIRE) (GLASS SHATTERING) Let's go)! Closest weapons? Ground floor. -(GASPS) -(GUNFIRE CONTINUES) (WOMEN SCREAMING) (GUNFIRE) Floor's clear. Movin' down. (GUNFIRE IN DISTANCE) (WOMEN SCREAMING) Mommy? Mommy? TRIS: Shh. Shh. They hurt my mommy? Look, I got one, too. See? It's okay. It's just the thing that made everybody go to sleep. Okay, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to go to the top of those stairs up there. Don't come down until your mommy comes to get you. - Don't come down? -Don't come down. Can you do that? Be brave, okay? Okay. Go. (PANTING) (GUNFIRE) (WOMEN SCREAMING) Hey. Why are we the only ones awake? Because we're Divergents. Come on, I need your help. We have to open this. Uriah, I need your help. Go. ERIC: Hey! Look who decided to show up. It's really good to see you again. All right, folks. Nothin' to be nervous about. Just a little routine inspection. Then we can all go back to our business. Hello. ELECTRONIC VOICE: Divergent, -10%. -Hmm. Shit. You're almost normal. That's boring. (GASPS) That is not part of the mission. ERIC: So what? Far as I'm concerned the rest of them are still outlaws. Let's just wrap this up quickly. The others are gonna be awake soon. Hi, sweetie. I shouldn'ta... ELECTRONIC VOICE: Divergent, 40%. I'm afraid it's not you, either. The lady said I shouldn'ta... The lady said I shouldn'ta come downstairs. Guess you shoulda listened. (YRS GRUNT S) MAX: Enough. We still have to test her. Eric! (PANTING) Jeanine told us that we have to test everyone. (GROANS) ELECTRONIC VOICE: Divergent, 100%. I'll be damned. What? MAX: She's what we've been looking for. Bullshit. ELECTRONIC VOICE: Divergent, 100%. Get her in a vehicle. I'll alert Jeanine. If you think you got lucky, you're wrong. You're gonna wish I killed you. MAN 1: Drop it. Don't move. - Drop your weapon! -MAN 2: Get down. - Let me see your hands. -MAN 3: Right there! Hey. Thank you. It's lucky you got that gun, Four. (SIGHS) Oh, we both know you were never much without one. (SCREAMS) (FOUR GRUNTING) (ERIC GROANS) You think she's safe now? You're wrong. Jeanine's never gonna stop searching for you. Why? What does she want with her? Tell me. Look, all I know is she's exactly what Jeanine needs. She's the perfect subject. Was that supposed to scare me? You're responsible for the death of hundreds of people. You know the punishment for that. Listen... I've found a way to live with the blood on my hands. But can you? (BODY TH U DS) Why won't they come out? All I know is it put me in a sleeping sim, and then I woke up to all hell breaking loose. Hec! Don't play with it. (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) You all know what this means. Thank you. For helping us. I wish I could do more. I had no idea Jeanine was capable of something like this. It's time we fight back. We don't have the numbers. We will. Once we get to Factionless. WOMAN ON PA: Strict curfew until further notice. FOUR: You heard Eric. Jeanine's never gonna stop coming after you. It's our only option. JEANNE: Tris Prior. Of course. it had to be her. Is she still off the grid? Yeah. But I think I found a solution. It's Peter. Right? Yeah. And, Jeanine, can I just say that it is truly an honor to finally meet you in person? FOUR: Congratulations, Mother. You got your war. I know you wish there was another way. But there isn't. I'm the lesser of two evils. Is that it? You'd better be. JEANNE'. Tell me, why did you surrender to Erudite? What do you want? I would like a position in your regime. Ideally, I would like a position with some advancement opportunities. (LAUGHS) I may be Dauntless, but I'm not just a meathead. No offense, Max. (SCOFFS) Prove your worth to us. Then we can discuss your ambitions. Great. When do I start? Let's talk about your friend Tris Prior. How do I flush her out? PETER". Simple. The girl's a walking bleeding heart. She was born Abnegation. That's her weak spot. You just have to know how to press it. LAUREN: Help! Come quick! MAN: It's coming from up there. WOMAN: Christina! Please, help! -(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) -Somebody do something! BOY 1: Look! BOY 2: On the ledge! ALL: The traitor Tris Prior must be surrendered to Erudite or every day more deaths will follow. Go! ALL: Hand over Tris Prior or every day more deaths will follow. Hand over Tris Prior or every day more deaths will follow. WOMAN: Get down! Hector! No! ALL: Hand over Tris Prior or every day -more deaths will follow. -Christina! No! (PEOPLE GASP) (THUD) (PANTING) Christina! Christina! (STRUGGLING) Tris, help me. Tris! (CHRISTINA PANTING) It's okay. We removed this from the body of the suicide. Marlene. Her name was Marlene. I'm sorry. Marlene. It's a very sophisticated sim serum injector. It also has a radio transmitter in its head. How do we get them out? I don't know. This tech was built to defend itself. This tendril wraps around the nearest major artery. Try to remove them and they kill the host. (ALL MURMURING) CHRISTINA: So what do we do? Tori has to find a way to neutralize the disks before we do anything else. EDGAR: Or we could do the logical thing. And we hand her over. Nobody knows about this alliance. We have to protect that advantage. If we hand Tris over now, might buy us some time. (ALL AGREEING) FOUR: I think it's a good idea. - WOMAN: Get rid of her! -Damn right. Except you'll have to go through me first. Me, too. ALL: And all of us. (ALL CLAMORING) Hey! I ain't the one with the time bomb in my arm. MAN: Yeah! (ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) (TRIS SNIFFLING) I know what you're thinking. But I'm not gonna let you do it. I can't let anyone else die because of me. No one else is gonna die because of you. Tori's gonna find a way to disable the disks... And if she doesn't? Then... Then... Then if she doesn't, we figure it out. Together. You know I'm just one person. I'm not worth it. No, you are worth it. You are worth it to me. I love you. JEANINE: ...plays a critical role in maintaining the social order. But this harmony we've achieved is now under attack. This city may be safely enclosed behind a vast wall. But make no mistake, that wall alone does not ensure our security. It is up to us, every one of us, to remain vigilant in identifying and isolating any potential threat to our stability. There are individuals hiding among us who must be contained. So permit me to address the objections of my fellow faction leaders. I am aware that there have been some concerns about the unavoidable raid on Candor. - So let me be clear. -(ALARMS BLARING) The harboring of Divergents by any faction cannot be tolerated. Very soon, I will be presenting what I believe to be no less than a mandate from The Founders themselves. And this will, I have no doubt, validate the measures I'm taking to keep the peace. And provide the instructions that will allow us to eradicate the Divergent crisis, once and for all. Where are you going? Tris left. She's gone. What? When? Last night. Wait. Tobias! People look to you for leadership. You can't just abandon them. Tobias! (DOOR OPENS) PETER: WOW. I have to admit, I'm impressed. I mean, I knew that you were dumb, but I didn't think that you were dumb enough to actually come down here and turn yourself in. The killings have to stop. Well, that just goes to show that you can take the girl outta Abnegation, but you can't take the Abnegation outta the girl. Let's go. Once a stiff, always a stiff, right? What is this? What is this? This is the only reason why you're alive, Tris. Man, I love knowing stuff that you don't. Need you to open up that box, Tris. The only way to open that box is to pass the sims of all five factions. But the only people that have tried to do it so far have died. (LAUGHING) Oops. I don't think I was supposed to tell you that. Oh, Well. No pressure. JEANINE: Remarkable. Chances of it being you, of all people. Nearly defies the laws of probability. As remarkable as the amount of people you've managed to murder. Dark times call for extreme measures. You may find it hard to believe, but I am serving the greater good. Step up on the disk, please. Step up on the disk, please. (PETER GROANS) (PANTING) Ma'am? - Hmm? -(PETER GROANING) Oh. Stop the suicides or I swear I will shoot him. That's okay. You can kill him if you want. We have plenty of guards. What? (YELLS) (GRUNTS) I'm guessing you need me alive for this to work. Right? (SHOUTS) Right? CALEB: Beatrice. Caleb. Caleb. L.- Don't engage the subject. Conditions are already less than optimal. Oh, my God. If I do this, the suicides stop? No. The suicides will continue until you succeed. And pass all five sims. Should be incentive enough. Good luck. (MACHINE POWERING UP) (YELPING) Let's begin. ELECTRONIC VOICE: Initializing Dauntless sim. Mom. (GASPS) Tris, help me! TRIS: What? No! (BIRDS CAWING) NATALIE: Tris? TRIS: Mom! (YRS GRUNT S) (SCREAMS) (PANTING) MAN: Her heart rate is rising. Keep her in play. (YRS GRUNTING) TRIS: Mom! NATALIE: Tris! TRIS: I'm coming! (TRIS YELLS) Mom! I'm coming. (TRIS SCREAMS) NATALIE: Tris, help me! -(SCREAMING) -Hold on. Hold on! Tris. ELECTRONIC VOICE: Dauntless sim complete. TRIS: Mom. I miss you so much. Mmm. I know you do. But I'm still with you. You need to be strong now. Tell me you're gonna be strong. I'm trying. You can do this. I know you can. You're brave. Braver than anyone. I'm not brave, Mom. I pretend that I am. And I want people to think that I am. But I'm not. I'm really, really scared. That maybe we are actually what's wrong in this world. Divergents. I never wanted any of this. You and Dad and Caleb and then Four. And I can't help but think that if I was normal we would all still be together. Mom, I don't wanna be Divergent anymore. I just wanna feel safe again. (TRIS SOBBING) ELECTRONIC VOICE: Candor sim complete. (GUNFIRE) Four. You're here. Yeah? Yeah, I am. You're here. - Are you okay? -Yeah. Secure the hallway. All right. Let's get you outta here. - You good? -Yeah. (COCKS GUN) Stop. Let him go. Wait, you're not gonna shoot me? Once a stiff, always a stiff. (GUNFIRE) Go! Four, how did you get past security? FOUR: You know me. Scary boyfriend skills. What is it? You weren't there. You didn't even hear that. Tris, we need to leave now, all right? I'm sorry, Four. What? I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was gonna go. I wanted to say goodbye and I just didn't know how. I didn't know how. What are you talking about? So even though I didn't get to say it in real life at least I get to say it now. Even if it is just in the sim. Tris, we're not in a sim. Don't you think I'd know if I was in a sim? Four, you're not in a sim. You are the sim. Wait, wait. ELECTRONIC VOICE: Erudite sim complete. JEANINE: There's only Amity now. PETER: She hasn't passed Abnegation yet. Yes, she has. When she spared your life. This girl is extraordinary. She's tested positive for four factions in one day. (CHUCKLES) No one's gotten that far. (MACHINE BEEPING) MAN: We've got a problem. She's crashing. We have to rest her. Sure you're not letting familial attachment cloud yourjudgment? See for yourself. (PANTING) Very well. Detach the subject. Good work, everyone. We'll resume tomorrow. (DOOR OPENS) You were never planning on going back to Abnegation, were you? I had to do what I felt was right. Our parents would be ashamed of you. Well, maybe not. I mean, I am willing to sacrifice you, the only family I have left, the only person I love, in order to preserve what's best for everyone else. What's more selfless than that? What does Jeanine think is in that box, Caleb? It's a message from The Founders. But the box was to be opened only if the Faction System broke down, which is why it requires someone like you to open it. You are living proof that the Divergent problem has grown beyond all control. Do you even hear what you're saying right now? No one thinks it's your fault that you were born this way. Jeanine murdered an entire faction, Caleb. That faction could no longer be trusted. She killed our parents. Our parents brought that on themselves. What are you talking about? The box? It was in their house. They were the ones hiding it. All of those lives could have been spared. Seems we didn't know our parents as well as we thought we did. (DOOR OPENS) All right. Family reunion's over. It's time to go. I got a little surprise for you, Tris. TRIS: Four? Tris! - Tris! Tris! -Four! Four! - Tris! -Four! Four! Stop! Four! Foufl (SCREAMING) mus GROANS) I gather your brother explained to you how vital the work you're doing here is to the future of this city? Please, just let Four go. If his well-being is of such concern then you should focus on the task at hand. (JEANINE SIGHS) Tell me, do you appreciate irony? You tested positive for Erudite, so you must have the intellectual capacity. Irony? For instance, right now you're filled with hate. But you need to pass an Amity sim. (LAUGHING) Then there are other ironies at work, too. Such as the fact that your cherished mother... Don't. ...who you so dauntlessly saved in the sim is the reason you're in this mess to begin with. You're the reason I'm in this mess. Then there's the most poignant irony of all... Stop. ...that Natalie Prior not only died trying to protect the data that - I now have in my possession. -Because you stole it from her. You killed her for it! Data that she so selfishly withheld. But her own daughter. Her beloved Divergent Tris is going to be the one to deliver it to me. I said stop! Therefore, your mother's death, just like your boyfriend's death, will mean absolutely nothing. (RUMBLING) Don't pull her out. Not yet. JEANNE'. NO. No. Bring her back! Bring her back! No! Bring her back! Come on! Come on. Come on. Bring her back! Test Subject Seven is no longer viable. (PANTING) I really thought you were the one. We'll just... We'll just have to resume our search. Find solace in your faction, Caleb. We're your family now. Jeanine wanted me to show you this. (INHALES) (GASPING) Hey, Four. Maybe do that thing you do? (ALL GRUNTING) PETER: Hey, Four, come on, that was pretty good, right? First, I swiped a paralytic from the infirmary. Then I shot her up when she was all freakin' out about you. I mean, I told these guys I was pretty smart. Guess they shoulda listened. You're real. Yeah, I'm real. What are you doing here? You die, I die. Okay, guys, come on. Let's go, seriously. We can do that later. - You okay? -Yeah. (PANTING) Thank you, Peter. Yeah, whatever. Now we're even, stiff. All right. Come on, let's go. Before Jeanine realizes you're still alive. - No, no, no. -What? The box. We have to get the box. What, are you kidding me? Now's not the time for a souvenir, Tris. Four, you have to listen to me. It's not what Jeanine thinks it is. I know it's not. My mother would have destroyed it. We have to get it. Peter, is there another way into the lab? I mean, I'd have to go into the control room to disable all the doors. Okay, good, then do that. Okay. Right now? Yeah. You just chose our side, whether you meant to or not. If you wanna survive, make sure we do. Let's go. Fuck. (INDISTINCT CHATTER ON PA) MAN: Ma'am, our current assessment with other possible candidates. JEANINE: Correct. Female. And we have the two males introduced to you before? No guns. It'll draw too much attention. Hey. Hold up. (GRUNTING) ELECTRONIC VOICE: Access denied. Come on, come on. ELECTRONIC VOICE: Access granted. All right, let's go. Come on. - Is that it? -Yes. All right, grab it and let's go. (PANTING) (ALARMS BLARING) MAN ON PA: Security breach. Security breach. Lockdown. What's going on? What's going on? What is it? There's been a breach in the sim room. JEANINE: Get me a remote feed. I wanna see who the hell is in there. The cameras are down in the sector, too. I'm sending guards there now. Let's go. Bring up every cell. Now. Show her. Tori finally found a way to get 'em out safely. EVELYN: How many others? Every last one. Let's go. SOLDIER: South corridor, 40 yards down. Tris? Tris, come on, we gotta move. Tris, we have to move. I can't. I can't. My mom died protecting whatever's inside of this. I have to open it for her and I think I know how. Tris, if we don't leave now, we're not gonna get outta here. I have to do this first. Look, I know it doesn't make any sense, but you have to trust me, please. With my life, apparently. MAN ON PA: All security teams, be advised, breach in... Do it. MAX: Flank right. Don't move! (GRUNTS) ELECTRONIC VOICE: Initializing Amity Sim. JEANINE: Back again, are we? You're an even bigger fool than your mother. Say whatever you want to me, Jeanine. But I'm not gonna fight you. How very Amity of you. I mean it. I'm not gonna fight you. Of course you're not. You're gonna fight her. The one you really hate. What are you? (SCOFFS) I'm you, Tris. I'm the real you. (PANTING) I'm not gonna fight you. I'll make you fight me. You're not me. I am. I'm what they see when they look at you. You killed Will. And your parents. You're deadly. That's enough! No one's gonna love you, Tris. They're never even gonna miss you. This world will be better off without you. One less Divergent ruining everything. And no one will ever, ever forgive you for what you've done. You're wrong. Mus sens) Because I will. (SCOFFS) (GUNFIRE) ELECTRONIC VOICE; Amity Sim complete. Wait! No! Stop! ELECTRONIC VOICE: Initializing message. Hello. I come from outside the wall. Where we have all but destroyed each other. We designed your city as an experiment. We believe it is the only way to recover the humanity we have lost. And we created factions to ensure peace. But we believe there will be those among you who will transcend these factions. These will be the Divergent. They are the true purpose of this experiment. They are vital to humanity's survival. If you're watching this now, then at least one of you is proof that our experiment has succeeded. The time has come for you to emerge from your isolation and rejoin us. We've allowed you to believe that you're the last of us. But you're not. Mankind waits for you with hope beyond the wall. You Okay? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You were wrong about us. We were never the problem. We're the solution. (BITTER LAUGH) Bury the box. - What? -No one sees it. Even Kill them both. - No! -(GUNSHOT) MAN 1: Drop it! Now! MAN 2: Don't move. Down! Put your weapons down, now! Drop them. Drop them. Stay! MAN 3: Put it down! EDGAR: Do not move. Hello, Jeanine. Evelyn? Impressive. Think we're gonna like it here. Do you honestly think the other factions will stand for this? Because you're so popular? Get her out of here. When that message gets out, it'll be the end. What message? You'll see. I'm gonna put it on every monitor in the city. WOMAN ON RECORDING: We have separated you from the rest of us. And we created factions to ensure peace. The time has come to emerge from your isolation and rejoin us. We've allowed you to believe that you're the last of us. But you're not. If you're watching this now, then at least one of you is proof that our experiment has succeeded. Mankind waits for you, with hope, beyond the wall. (MUSIC PLAYING) These will be the Divergent. They are the true purpose of this experiment. They are vital to humanity's survival. You did it. - Yeah. -Yeah. Everyone's staring at me. You changed everything. (SIGHS) What now? Only one way to find out. You ready? It's been over 200 years. Who knows what's out there? You'll never find out. (GUNSHOT) Peace. Long ago, before the founders established this great city of ours that word was all but meaningless, an ideal as elusive as a dream. Now, 200 years later. We are all of us living proof that peace is indeed attainable. The reason for this is of course our faction system. Erudite, Dauntless, Amity, Candor, Abnegation. In dividing people according to personality and aptitude we've created a society in which each faction plays a critical role in maintaining the social order. But this harmony we achieved is now under attack from a small but extremely dangerous group of individuals. We call them "Divergents". They are in essence the worst of what humanity used to be rebellious, defiant and uncontrollable. Five days ago, a rogue group of divergents posing as Dauntless brutely invaded Abnegation in an obvious attempt to cripple the faction system by attacking it's most vulnerable members. These divergents despise our system because they are incapable of conforming to it. These latest rumours for example that I was somehow behind the attack on Abnegation ... nothing more that Divergent propaganda. I am devoting myself to bringing these fugitives to justice. I've exercised my right as acting council leader to declare martial law until I'm confident that any threat to our security has been eliminated. Tell Jeanine we got it. We are all that's left of humanity. The vast wall that encloses this city may protect us from our toxic surroundings, but it is up to us to confront any element that can poison us from within. Because when you are civilization's last hope, peace is not merely an ideal it is an obligation. And it is up to all us to take a stand position against it's one true enemy. Divergents Amity! We need to make sure it's clear. Tris! Help us, please help us, please! Please help us, you have to help us! I'm sorry, you have to leave. - You just don't belong here. - It's all her fault. You killed Will. No... She killed... Father! ... Mother! You killed us all. - And ... three! - Higher! - Hey - Higher, higher! - You wanna go higher. Okay everyone back to classes now I just wanted to do something different. Yeah. Well that's definitely different. - You don't like it? - No, I like it, I like it a lot I'm just surprised, that's all. - What's going on, Tris? - Nothing. I'm fine. Just... Still having nightmares? No. We're good. You and me. I know nothing else is, but we are. Time for chores. How much longer do we have to stay here for? Until we know it's safe to leave. - Hey. - Hey. Son! You can't ignore me forever. I know you're thinking about your next move, but there are things you don't know. Marcus, please just leave us alone. Your mother didn't come back to Abnegation just to save you. She died trying to hide something from Jeanine, something that was entrusted to Abnegation - a long time ago. - Marcus! Stop! Whatever you want from us, you're not gonna get it. I'm not the enemy here. You found it. It was in the home of Natalie and Andrew Prior, like you said. You mind telling me what's inside? A message from the Founders that will ensure the future our people deserve. Divergents will destroy our society, unless we destroy them. And now we can. However, only a Divergent can open this box. Find them! Every last one of them. Go with happiness. Go with happiness. - Go with happiness. - Thank you. Go with happiness. I really don't know how much longer I can do this whole peace and love thing. It's the Amity way, just try to blend in. I'm trying to blend in, it's just not working. Coming through, on you right. Okay here we go. Oh look a rainbow. It's pretty. Virtual pathological friendliness with unquestioning passifism. I love this place. Thank you. Go with happiness. Oops, excuse me. Hey Tris, I really like your hair by the way. Did you try to cut it all short and weird like that. Peter, why don't you take your food and sit down huh? Or what? Besides I think we all should stick together now that we are officially fugitives. Wait what do you mean by officially fugitives? Oh you don't know? You didn't tell Caleb? Yes, now Jeanine is saying that the attack on Abnegation was orchestrated by a group of regenade Divergents and their sympathizers. So they're blaming this whole thing on us? Yeah. And Jeanine needed a reason to petition the council to institute martial law. And now she has one. Staying here at Amity is our best option for now. We need to keep an ear to the ground and find out where the rest of Dauntless are. - Then we can make a move. - We need to kill Jeanine. I know, we're not ready yet. - Beatrice you're not being serious, right? - No I am being serious.. I'm not gonna stop until she's dead. Tris you can't just go around killing people. No she's right, listen to your sister. Tris, I think you should go to Erudite and kill Jeanine yourself. I'll stay with Caleb so you don't get him killed too. What? Come on, you know... like you did your parents. Stop! What do you think you're doing? - My office! Now! Enjoy your meal everyone, enjoy your meal. Just calm down. Was I not clear that the terms of your sanctuary here included non violence? Well I can guarantee you nothing like this will ever happen again. Be that as it may, you can no longer stay here with us. Your presence is just too disruptive. Truth is that our sanctuary was never gonna last very long here anyways. Was it? With you not standing up to Jeanine. - You don't understand us at all. - No I do understand you. I understand that you think you can stay out of this but you can't. One day she's gonna show up and Jeanine is gonna take whatever power you think you have away from you. Tris! Tris! Look, Johanna, we need a little more time. I need to find out where the rest of the Dauntless are, then we can leave. And then what? Attack Erudite? - I will not be a party to violence. - No-one's asking you to. We just need a few more days. One. - One, what? - One more chance. See, to be Amity is to forgive others and yourself. You're hurting Tris. And my heart goes out to you. I know what it's like to stand helpless while you lose the ones you love. You did good. Listen. You did a great job. Here you go. Careful. It's full. Okay. Paul, I'm-- I'm sorry I'm late. It's okay. I, uh, gave the speeches. We're just, uh, waiting on you. I got MVP. Is my trophy in there? I'm sure it is... somewhere. Uh, hopefully, there are trophies for all the players that contributed. Okay, Hornets, bring it in, guys. Come on over. Finally, now that the hardware is here, we're gonna give out some awards, okay? And, uh, I'm gonna make you guys suffer through some more boring speeches, and I apologize for that, so bear with me, okay? He is so good with kids. I think coaching's been a real solace for Paul during this time of upheaval. I think it has. We should probably organize something with Joy's other girlfriends, make sure he stays fed, don't you think? Or, you know, I could just... feed him. It's been two months. He's hardly wasting away. Libby, I'm looking for an excuse. You're gonna think I'm terrible, but how long, exactly, does a widower have to wait before he can start, you know... eating? I don't know. A year? Says who? Says... Emily Post, I've heard. Well, Emily post is also a divorcée, so she would definitely be on my side. And a delicious man like that shouldn't go to waste. Don't you want Paul to be happy? Of course I do. Yeah, he's-- he's lost his wife, and you are recently divorced, so... So... you don't mind playing Cupid? Also, certainly, a thank you to Coach Masters for his-- his help on the field. - Paul... - Yeah? You remember Stephanie, Jacob's mom. Of course. Hi. How are you? You may not be aware, but Stephanie is, uh-- she's recently divorced. Oh, well, that got to the point. To the-- Oh, you're setting us up. It was my idea. I know. But at some point, I thought, "Why be coy?" She's right. I mean, you're both single, you're both smart and nice. Smart and nice. Wow. Stephanie, can I offer you a refill? - Yes. Thank you. - You're very welcome. Here you go. If we ever have a daughter, we should do her hair like that. - Oh, like Jeannie's? - Yes. No, no. You got to be born in a lamp. No, it's adorable! I could do it one day, and then you could do it the next day. - But no hat. - I love the hat! Hel, that hat looks like it's for a monkey who should be clanging a symbol. Austin. Okay. How does the other guy look? Oh, no. You're not gonna be one of those exes that shows up when he's drunk? Even though we're not exes. Even though we only did it once. They're gone. What? Who's gone? My kids. I lost custody of my kids. Oh. Okay. Okay. All right. Get in. Austin, I'm so sorry. It's all right. The judge said, and I will quote him directly because he was such a complete and utter asshole... Sure. You know, get comfortable. He said that I was unfit. Now, all my life, people have told me that I'm very fit. My Uncle Lionel was in the fucking Olympics, okay? I didn't know that. Archery? Pentathlon. So, to tell me that I am unfit now when my fitness really matters, when the fitness stakes couldn't be higher... Here I am! With nothing left! Nothing! You have taken everything that has meant anything to me! You have-- Get a blanket. Dennis. What are you-- what are you doing? You're a doctor, right? I mean, you help people? I-I do. I, um, heard you wrote a book about... people's private parts. About sex-- yes. Yes, I did. Is everything all right? I don't think so. I think... something's wrong with me. And originally, it gets produced in here. It's called a nocturnal emission or, colloquially, a wet dream. It's incredibly common and perfectly normal. Are you sure? I couldn't be more sure. Hasn't your father or... someone explained any of this to you? - Ow! - John! Get out of my house! This is my house! Get out! Austin, what are you doing? I can't sleep. Can I sleep with you? When hell freezes over. But I'm miserable. I also threw up. - Where? - In the john. But I still feel awful. Okay. I'll get you some ginger ale. It'll settle your stomach. I don't know how I got here. I mean, how did I become, God, such a giant fuck-up. Hey. You were a... pretty good doctor and a really good diet-pill salesman. That was all bullshit-- the opposite of when I'm with my kids. That's when I was really myself-- watching "Lost In Space," playing concentration, grilled cheese. Well, you are... on their level. That is for sure. I always figured having kids would force me to grow up, but... it was the total opposite. I knew who I was with my kids. It's the only thing I was good at. That is not true. You know it's true, Betty. I know it's true. That's the problem. Can I have some more? You are here today because science is on the cusp of a startling discovery-- a discovery about how and why we are attracted to one another. It appears that human beings emit certain chemicals. Now, these chemicals-- pheromones, they're called-- work to attract us to one another. Pheromones don't smell, and yet we believe that they're detected through the nose, sensed, if you will. And these pheromones travel from one person to the next, sending secret messages of sorts, directly into our brains to grab our sexual attention-- a raw sexual attractant, pure animal magnetism. Uh, I need some invoices signed, but the doc isn't in yet. So, how you doing? Fine. How's Dan Logan doing? Fine. I think. Can I say something, uh, you know, honestly, but also in confidence? Of course. I think the doc is a little worried about Mr. Logan, about the, uh-- the effect that he's-- well, he's having on you. I'm sorry. - Uh, the effect? - But, actually, I'm a little bit more worried about the doc, to be honest. I-I think he's a little... undone by Mr. Logan's presence. So, Bill sent you to... pump me for information? He asked me to inquire. But the only reason I'm even doing that is 'cause... I came a long way to get to that desk chair out there, and I have no interest in watching this whole operation blow. Nothing is going to blow. Betty. Tell Bill that-- that we spoke and that I reassured you that everything is fine. Mr. Logan and I are simply moving on to the next stage of the scent research. Which is true, Betty. Reproductive Biology Research Foundation. Did you, uh, check on top of the fridge? I already looked there. Well, then maybe Helen finished the frosted flakes. But that's what I eat for breakfast every day. Well, then fry an egg, then. Just don't leave the refrigerator door hanging open. Oh, I got to go. Are you-- are you hiding from me? Hiding? No. That would just be silly. Because I-I just saw you talking with Virginia. I'm hiding from you because I do not want to have this conversation. Why? What did Virginia say? First of all, there is nothing going on between her and Logan. She said that? Well, of course she said that now. But what if you were to take her out for dinner, you know? - Maybe have a drink or two? - No! My responsibilities here are varied and far-reaching, but reffing a fight between mommy and daddy is not one of them. Hey, hey. Maybe I can spare you a lot of grief by sharing with you a tidbit I've picked up-- one you seem to have missed. Trying to control other people doesn't work, ever. The only person you can control is yourself. So, you got no relevant information out of her - about Logan. - Oh, for the love of God! Are you kidding me? The placebo reaction. With scents? The preliminary results are very interesting. Would you like to see them? So, Logan didn't get the, uh, results he wanted, and now he wants to test fake results. No. No, I wanted to study the power of suggestion, something that you and I have talked about in our own work. Virginia, it-- is there any, uh... particular reason you're insisting he stay here? I'm making lemonade out of lemons, Bill. I didn't want Dan Logan to join us as our principle investor, if you'll recall. I wanted Hugh Hefner. But you ignored my request, not for the first time, and as a result, I have found something in his work that adds value to our work, an avenue that invites study. If you want to investigate the psychosomatic effects of treatment, in five seconds, I could design a study that is far more tailored to our work than some-- some phony sniff test with Logan. Even if he does go, you can't force me to work on your surrogacy program. - My surrogacy program? - Isn't it your program if you're going forward with it regardless of my objections? Bill, I haven't put my foot down about something that you are interested in, and so I would expect the same consideration from you. In fact, I insist upon it. The institute that bears both our names has enough room to accommodate us both. Dr. Masters, sorry to interrupt, but, um, Jack Coleridge is here. Go ahead, Bill. I think we're done here. Mr. Coleridge, allow me to introduce Nora Everett. Miss Everett, Jack Coleridge. Nora, I-I don't know what I was expecting, but... I wasn't expecting anyone so pretty. You are too kind. So, where are we going? Well, I guess I don't know what you would like, so... I haven't really picked yet. Well, how about you give me two choices you like, and then together we can decide what sounds best? That's great. This-- this is nothing. I hope not. This is unexpected. Yes, well, uh, turns out that Bill is gonna have to work late again. Oh? Uh, so, we won't be able to use these ballet tickets, which is why I'm giving them to you and Stephanie. Well, that's, uh-- that's very thoughtful of you. Well, I can see the two of you are really hitting it off, and since I feel I had some hand in this, - and, uh-- - Wait. You were watching us? No, I-- I was just getting the mail, Paul. I can't help it if Stephanie's laugh travels like a hyena's. Your friend Stephanie. All I'm saying is, uh, please take the tickets. I will. And, uh, I better call Stephanie right away, see if she's available. So... cross your fingers for us. Fingers crossed. Enjoy the evening. We will. Oh. You're home. As usual. I supposed you want dinner, as well. I, uh, haven't even given it a thought. Where-- where have you been? I was just next door offering Paul our ballet tickets. Uh, well, it turns out he's dating someone. Stephanie. Her son was on the football team. Good for him. I'm not sure if it's good. Okay. Have you been drinking? At work? Of course not. Although, since my day has been extremely trying, I am gonna have a drink now. Yeah, well, my day has been no picnic, either, so... how about I join you? Sure. Just completely infuriating how some people are... so... Treacherous? It's like one of-- one of our investors. He's-- he's one of those people that's like a-- like a virus, the kind that mutates, metastasizes into a cancer. Yeah, how do you get rid of people you want to get rid of? You redouble your efforts. Why don't we ever do this? What? Drink together. Because I'm always standing here and you're always in the kitchen. No, I mean-- I don't mean like that. I mean-- why don't we ever talk? - Aside from every day? - No, I mean-- I mean really talked or... make love. Libby, we-- we've been married a very long time. Yes, we have. God knows I'm not talking about fireworks. But if you were dying and you had one final moment to... look back at your whole life, at the things that mattered the most to you... what would you say about our marriage? Well, we tried our best. Both of us. We gave it our very best. I'm not sure. Maybe the police? Who are you supposed to call when you think someone may have taken their own life? - Helen? - Betts! I just got home, and I found this. What? Look at this. Uh, "nothing to live for," and then at the ending, when he says about the St. Louis Arch. Oh, my God. Okay. Well, he-- he can't mean the thing about the Arch. You've got to be a sherpa to get up that thing. So, where is he? I-- Oh. I didn't hear you girls come in. Oh. Uh, I was just doodling the way a depressed person does. - Ha! - How would you even climb up the Arch? That was a thoughtless, childish, moronic thing to do! Okay, I'm-- I'm sorry, but... on the other hand, what reason do I have to live? I don't know. Why don't you ask the Arch? No, I mean it. My kids are gone, I have no wife, even my parents have died. I'm... nobody's son, nobody's husband, nobody's father. But... you are the father of our child. I'm not even that. You said it yourself. We did it once. No. You helped us make a baby. Wait. What? Are you serious? I just got back from the doctor. I'm... pregnant. You're gonna be a father. You, too. So, even with the added ingredient of suggestion, our numbers are about the same. Maybe a little better, but not better enough. Well, a little better is not nothing. It was a nice dream-- a cologne scientifically proven to attract women. First of all, it should be marketed towards women, not men. A perfume that a woman could put on to help her feel more sexual, perhaps even awaken a whole part of herself that's been dormant or repressed. You know, it is what's happening out there in the real world-- a sexual awakening. That's exactly right. So, if we could tailor this research and turn it into a perfume - for women... - But-- Give women a sense of power so they can take charge of their own lives. "Do I want to feel sexy and aroused tonight? Yes, I do." Now, that-- that would be exciting. Yes, it would if it were true, but it's not. We don't have the numbers. Virginia, I'm sorry. I think my work here is done. What are you guys talking about? - Mrs. Tate. - She sounds like a duck. Smells like one, too. Oh, 'cause I thought he was asking you to explain how his penis worked. What? Yeah, so, uh, Dennis went to my dad-- my dad's a really famous doctor-- and my dad had to show Dennis a book on how to fix his broken penis because he was too stupid to figure it out on his own. Shut up. Yeah, that's probably why you phoned three grades, Dennis. You're always gonna have to rely on the smart people to explain things to you. Smart people like my dad. - Are you feeling ready for this? - Yes. *** Start with the arms. When he's feeling comfortable, rub his arms again before moving on to his chest, and so on, and just keep building up from there. I know, Dr. Masters. We've been over it a hundred times. Hi. - How are you? - Nervous. *** I'm gonna take off my robe now, okay? Okay. Um, I'm just gonna follow your lead. Sorry. It's okay. Just remember the whole point of today is to make you feel good. That's nice. - Really nice. - Good. I'm gonna move on to your chest now, okay? Okay. Although... if you wanted, you could move a little further than that. I don't know how long its been since I've seen that. You're like a miracle worker. It's all a part of the process. But for now, your chest only, okay? It feels so good. Could you maybe... Not on the first visit. It's been so long since anyone's touched me like that. I know, but-- What if this is the only erection I ever get? I may not have another chance. You will. I promise. Please. I wouldn't ask, except... it would mean a lot to me. I-I'm not a young man anymore, and... Please? I do not understand it when we've gone over and over this time and time again! I'm so sorry. I-I-- You risked compromising his entire treatment! And for what? I felt he was so distracted by his need. - I thought that if I just-- - You crossed a line that cannot be crossed. And if the surrogate doesn't understand the boundaries-- But I do know the boundaries, and-- and he did end up feeling-- Do not tell me that it's okay because it worked. You cannot play fast and loose with my patients that way. I am sorry. You're right. I-I really apologize. You have to understand how much this means to me, how badly I want to succeed at this. I'm sure you do, but I really don't see how that's possible any longer. But-- but I was meant to do this work. Well, you might think so, but from what I saw today-- You saw one mistake! And I do understand the work, and I do understand you. But what you don't understand is me, how hard I worked to... to be a better person. You think you know about my life, but you don't. You have some vague recollection of my parents, but you have no idea what was going on inside my house. You don't know that my father left and then my mother made me pretend he was still coming home every night when anyone asked. You don't know that he told me that he loved me but that he didn't want a family, when I was the only child. I was the one that made it a family. I didn't know that. You also don't know that, when my father was in the house... he hit me. A lot. Of course, I thought it was my fault, that somehow, I was bad, that maybe, if I tried harder, he would love me. If I just tried harder, maybe none of the bad stuff would happen. I-I do understand. And I hope you know that whatever you did, it wouldn't have made any difference. I know that now. And I know... that I have love to give and that I have a kind heart and I was meant to share it. And it's only sometimes, very rarely, that I go back to that old me, and I think I have to do what people say or they won't love me. And so, just then, I slipped. But it was just a slip. And it's not the me I am now, if that makes any sense. It does. I really do want to continue here. And-- and I am asking you for a second chance. Well, um... if the situation were reversed, I would hope that someone would give me that chance. So... Thank you. Thank you, Dr. Masters. Yeah. And now I've kept you here so late. You must be starving. There's still-- there's still Chinese in the fridge. How about I make you a plate? You probably shouldn't let yourself in here anymore. Sorry. Uh, I can leave my key if you want. What are you doing here, Libby? It was my day on the meal rotation, and I thought you might like some braised chicken. But maybe I shouldn't be so presumptuous, reading your mind about what you... might want. Well, what do you want? You. You were right. I am- - I am so sick of pretending all the time. This is where I want to be. I don't tell people that-- what a mess everything was when I was growing up. Well, a sad childhood is not something people often discuss. I won't even tell my boyfriends. Although some of mine, they actually ended up being like my father. That's a-- A common phenomenon. I even felt it a bit when you were angry with me just then. Felt it? It made me... drawn to you. Well, you know, it's good that you can catch yourself now when you see those patterns repeating. And it's good I have someone I can talk to about it. Yes. That's good, too. I've always been the one that slips out the back door before the party's over without saying... much of anything, really. Bad at endings, huh? I've been accused of that, myself. So... I don't go to New York very often, but... if I do, I will certainly-- You'll look me up. I will. You don't have to worry about New York. All right. I understand. Because I'll still be coming to St. Louis. But... you said yourself that we have come to the end of the road. I don't care about the road. What if I just came for you? No. I mean... it doesn't work like that. Well, it may not. But the thought of not seeing you every day is not something I'm ready to accept just now. So, what if I keep coming here... because we love each other? [Low low low la la la love love love's "Burrow" playing] ♪ The weight of fears above the burrow ♪ ♪ Of teeth and fur and blood ♪ ♪ I clear my throat at a circle of sky ♪ ♪ From the back ♪ - [knock on door] - ♪ of the hole I dug ♪ ♪ I'll bolt out into the snare... ♪ Lisa: "Dear your father's cunt, what an insightful article you've written about my gym. Your searing insights gained by spending countless hours in my gym, absorbing my philosophies on fighting and the blood, sweat, and tears of my team are truly astounding. Mario Goldsmith, you, sir, are in the pantheon right next to that motherfucker who wrote all those lyndon Johnson books." - All right. - "Oh, wait. Never mind. I've never even met you, never fucking heard of you, but I know your kind. You're the spawning infestation of micro-cocked little bitch bloggers who take shots at people who are out there actually doing real shit. Nobody likes you, bro. You're a fucking zero. You have no friends. Jesus Christ, himself, wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire while holding the virgin Mary. Keep up the good work, player. Have a nice day. Yours in perpetuity"... Didn't even know you knew that word... "Alvey 'your king' Kalina." Alvey Kalina, maker of men, father of three, and business owner. I was drunk. Yeah, you're one of those, too. Nobody reads that jerk-off. They do now. This went viral. There are lists and comments. "He's come unhinged." "Fucking nuts." You made Mario Goldsmith relevant. [Laptop lid thuds] Know your enemy, tough guy. The enemy is you. How much weight are you gonna lose? Um, like 30 pounds. - Are you starving? - I could eat. You're a masochist. Yeah, and you're... - You're the other one. - A sadist? Yeah. I will take that. Ohh. Sorry I got annoyed, but [clears throat] you were interrogating me. I just want to know what's going on in your life. Yeah, and then get mad about the parts you don't like. Some guy I've never fucking heard of is taking you to the Getty. You're wearing expensive lingerie. All I have is expensive lingerie, Jay. Who else are you sleeping with? I mean, should I be wearing a condom? - Excuse me? - Are you fucking this guy? Don't talk to me like I'm at your gym. I'm sorry. You're right. That was crass. Are you fucking this gentleman? - Ugh. - "Ugh." You're a pain in my ass. - Oh? - Uh-huh. His name is Paul. We lived together for five years. The house is his. And, no, I'm not fucking him. He's just paying for you? No. Just the house. And he's taking you to gala events. He likes to take me because I know all of his business partners. It's just... It's easy for him. What's he do for a living? He's an entertainment lawyer. Mmm! [Smacks lips] Mmm! - Is he rich? - Does it matter? I don't know. Does it matter to you? If it mattered, I'd be with him, and I'm not. I'm with you. [Laughs] I told my friends about you. - You did? - Mm-hmm. What did you say? - That you're crazy... - [Laughs] And that I'm having a sexual awakening with you. Wow. A sexual awakening. I told them that I've never come so much in my life. [Laughs] Oh, wait a second. Even more than with Paul? - Way more than Paul. - Yeah. Paul was too big. I couldn't take it unless I was really drunk. What's wrong? I'm answering all your questions. You're a fucking sadist is what you are. A little. Wait, look. Wow! [Laughs] Whoo! Look at these features, huh? I mean, the fucking cheekbones right here? Are you kidding me? I look like an angel. - Look at that. - [Camera shutter clicks] [Laughs] Babe. Oh, you look good. Thank you. - [Air hisses] - Drew: Try it. That's original flavor. I'm pregnant. I probably shouldn't. Ah, it's harmless. Every ingredient on that can is natural... Or a near-perfect synthetic match. Okay, drew, I've got a lot of other meetings with sponsors. What do you want to do? I love Ryan. You know that. But I was at his last fight. He did not look good. He was sick. I can only go off what I see, and I'll be honest with you, the personal stuff... It scares me. - He put his dad in a chair. - He was punished. I'm handing you a world-class fighter with a redemption story. The thing is he's never addressed the father thing. What's their relationship? Is he helping the guy out, or has he got him stashed in some home stewing in his own shit? Ryan never talks about it. It makes him look arrogant. The timing's just not right for us. This is the last time you'll be able to afford him. Do you have any female fighters? Rick: That's right! Don't stop running till you get to the border! - Get out of my fucking house! - Hey, what happened? Stay out! You made a mess! No, no, no. Don't leave. Don't leave. You made a big mess! Now just go! Don't come back! Stay out of my fucking house! You stay the fuck out! You tell her to stay the fuck out of here! - [Engine turns over] - What happened? Watch yourself. Watch yourself. There's glass. What happened? I told her I wasn't thirsty, and she kept sticking that goddamn straw in my face. [Sighs] Fuck. If you keep running off all these nurses, there's gonna be no one left, dad. It's a simple job. You water me and feed me. I'm a fucking plant. But that goddamn woman... She's trying to do the Tijuana waterboard on me! Okay, dad, you can't say that shit. Come on. [Chuckles] But, hey. I lied. I am thirsty. [Pill bottles clacking] I want you to get me a drink. A real one. You sure you're... Allowed to do that? Does it really matter? - Yeah, that's a good point. - Thank you. Now, let's be a couple of outlaws and get me a fucking drink. [Chuckling] Okay. Okay. [Exhales sharply] Yeah, why not? [Music playing] [Indistinct chatter] [Grunting] [Grunts] [Breathing heavily] - Alicia, right? - Yeah. I'm Alvey. No shit. Joe says you've been coming in at 6:00 in the morning. - Yes, sir. - Every day? Every day. All right. Wrap your hands up. We'll move around a bit. Okay. [Natural Child's "Let The Good Times Roll" plays] ♪ And I've been all over ♪ ♪ gettin' these good times ♪ ♪ And it's hard to watch 'em roll past my shoulder ♪ Cory: You look good. I can tell you're in shape. You take care of yourself. You'd be surprised how many guys show up looking like sewer shit. But not you. Not you. I like that. You got to take those glasses off. [Music continues] [Chuckles] Got your bell rung, huh? No, I'm good. All right. Don't got to worry about me. You say you're okay, I take your word for it. Medical suspensions? [Chuckles] That's for the fucking nanny state, and I don't play that bullshit. But do me a favor. Put the glasses back on. You're giving me a fucking headache. So, what's the deal? You got a spot on this card for me or what? I can find a spot for you. It's in Fresno. It's only a week out. It's not a problem. Okay. - Who's the guy? - Local kid named Vargas. He's aggressive. Not a lot of skill, but he's a tough motherfucker. - 155? - Ish. If either one of you's a few pounds over, I'm not gonna dock you. I'll make it. Even better. Unfortunately, though, not a lot of money. I just want the fight. All right. It's a deal. I'm excited. Your old man gonna be okay with this? Don't worry about him. He's fine. Yeah, I won't worry about him when he's ripping my fucking dick off. Do you need me to sign something? Good. Relax. Look what you're doing with your shoulders, right? It's... - Right? - Okay. Don't be wild. And turn it over. Nice and relaxed. Yeah, we're having fun. You're not leaving yourself any room. So, what is she doing wrong? You need to stay back. You're crowding your punch. Crowding your punch. You come in here, you're not getting the full extension. Right. The first one is here, here, and here. You know what it's setting up? - Look what's coming, right? - Mm-hmm. If you throw it and you stay there, what's gonna happen? I'm gonna knock you the fuck out, all right? Good. Come on, move. Move. Here I come. Here I come. Here I come. Here I come. - I'm not doing anything. - Ohh! Get out of the way! Just pivot out! Pivot... come on. That's not gonna help you. What do you want to do? You tell me. I mean, we could do mitts. We could just hit the mitts, or you can learn how to fight. Got it. Move. Breathe and move. Don't cross your feet. Turn it over. Turn it over. - Turn it over. - Okay. Good. Hook. Come on. Ah, ah. You're loading up on me. You're loading up on me. All I need is this... boop. - Nice and easy. - Okay, sorry. Okay, don't apologize. Right hand. Angle out. There you go. Show me you can throw one, two, three. You need to get that elbow over your shoulder. Not this. This. One, two, three. - All right? - Can I do that again? "Let's do it again," she says. You want to do it again. One, two, three. Good. Look where you're standing. All right? - In and out. - Okay. Right? Get used to missing. I want you to throw one, two, and then just keep it away from me, all right? One, two. Good. That's it. See? You're moving, you're moving, you're moving. Keep me away from you. Move that head. Good. And keep moving. Right-hand hook. Nice! Again. Strong. Good! Now, right-hand hook, go under, hook again. Under. To the body. Good. Perfect. Angle out. Elbow out. Don't cock that left hand. Just throw it. Come on! Come on. I knocked you out. Again. Good. Good. Where's the elbow? Where's the elbow? - Fuck! - Don't stop. Don't... Fuck! - You don't stop. - Okay! Come on! Let's go. One, two. One, two. Good. You tired? You tired? Again. Aah! Come on. Come on, come on, come on. Again. Good. Just get that elbow up. Over the shoulder. Good. - Aah! - Nice. Good. [Clippers buzzing] What the fuck, man? Would you go in a stall or something, please? I'm almost done. [Buzzing stops] High and tight, per the lady's request. Ooh-ah! So... Young man, why are you here? I have a tennis lesson. Mm, ha, ha, ha, ha. Very funny. Very funny. You're supposed to be healing up, Nate. I feel fine. You know, eat, drink. - What's the rush? - I have a fight. Who with? A guy Juan hooked me up with. Mm. Well, you're on medical suspension, so if this shit's in California, it's shady as hell. [Locker door closes] [Sighs] Does Alvey know? Doesn't matter. I'm taking the fight. Okay, then. See you out there. [Knock on door] How you feeling? Lisa: I'm so tired I can barely move. What did the doctor say? Apparently, feeling like shit is perfectly normal. [Door closes] You know, if I could carry this child for you, I would. Really? Yeah. You're amazing. How did I ever find you? The universe fucking loves you. [Laughs] You see me work with your girl? I did. What do you think? Honestly? She doesn't know what the fuck she's doing. She got some talent. What's her story? She's had a few fights. She's got a shitty record. She's bounced around a bunch of gyms, and she had a falling out with Marco over at team elite. So if she's a fucking head case, why do you even want to get involved with this one? I think she just needs some guidance. And I've already had some sponsors asking about her. - Who? - Slaughter Water. - Did you pitch Ryan? - Yeah, they don't want him. He has an image problem I have to figure out. Fuck. Too fucked up for Slaughter Water. How'd that happen? Yeah? - Hey. - Hi. Mario Goldsmith can be here by 4:00. - Perfect. - You did not. I'm just gonna apologize to him. I'm gonna smooth things over. You know what, I don't even care. Just keep rubbing my feet. Enjoy your meal. Welcome to Patty Palace. Can I take your... Order? [Sighs] Terry: I'll take a triple cheeseburger. - [Cash register beeping] - Extra onions... And chili. And... Small root beer. Would you like fries with that? I would. Thank you very much. I almost forgot. [Whistling] [Cash drawer opens] [Coins clink] I'll just be sitting outside. Welcome to Patty Palace. Can I take your order? [Indistinct chatter] You ready to work? - Where's Ryan? - He's with his old man. How you feeling? Deprived on every fucking level, but ready to fight. How you feeling? I feel good. Thank you. I'm gonna have you see a nutritionist, okay? We'll cut the weight, and you won't lose so much strength. You talk to Lisa? I have. A lot of other gyms that I can go to, man. I'm not letting you out of the gym, pal. You're too important here, okay? I'm gonna give you everything I give Ryan. I promise. Hey, what do you think about this one... this girl? Got to ask Ryan about that one. No, come on. Already? [Laughs] Whoo! Now, do me a favor. I want you to move around with her a little bit. See if she's worth a shit. Come on. Aye, aye, captain. This is a fucking good burger. Did you make this? I'm on break. How did you find me? Mm, girl's got to eat. One of mine saw you here and told me. Ahh. I'm not here for you, love. Don't worry. What do you want? A couple of my girls got picked up and started talking to the cops, saying my name, talking about my business. I've never said anything. I know, Chris. That's why you're still here enjoying your new life, spending time with your sons. The other girls aren't so lucky. Anyway. Point is, if the cops do show up asking you questions, I hope you forget my name. Of course, Terry. I'd never say anything. Sure. I know you wouldn't. Ah. Are you using again? No. Well... You've sure come a long way. [Chuckles] Do I bus me own table? I'll do it. [Sighs] It was good to see you. Jesus, you are so pretty... When you're clean. Oh, yeah. [Slurping] Ohh. Oh, I missed that. Give me another one. Well, let's... you know, let's pace ourselves. Take the goddamn governor off and hit me. All right. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. [Laughs] - Ready? - Uh-huh. [Laughing] Oh, yeah. [Burps] Ohh. Am I drinking alone here or what? Well, I drove, dad. You can sleep it off in your mom's room. It's up to you, though. [Laughs] [Laughing] Smooth, huh? [Exhales sharply] That is, um, cheap whiskey. [Laughs] It's affordable whiskey. Your mom's a sensible woman. She's been drinking that since she was 25 years old. Drank enough to marry me. You want some more? Oh, yeah. Hit me again. From the bottle. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'm good. It's your turn. Get at it. Okay, nice and relaxed. Nice and relaxed. Come on. Don't get sloppy. Set it up. No, you're hesitating. Keep those hands up, Alicia. Right. Set him up. Set him up. Jab, jab. Ah. Circle off the cage. Circle off. [Grunts] Jab out. Always jab out. When you get in trouble, just jab out. No, you're telegraphing those kicks. You're staring right at his leg that you're kicking. Jab, jab. Constantly moving. Jab, jab, jab, jab. Ah. Hips. Hips. Get out of there. Hips. All right, all right, all right. - Fuck! - You okay? - Yeah. - Yeah? - Fuck. - Relax. Just relax. Stop saying "fuck." Jay, show her how to do it. Show her how to chamber the kick. Jay: See how the knee comes off? This is the only part I'm worried about. Turn it. There you go. Take a little distance. Get in. Bam! That's it. That's it. That's it. Right here. Set up your hands now. That's it. That's it. Once more. Nice! Nice! Nice! Stop, stop. Take a break. Keep the jab moving. Angle out. Nine iron with a baseball bat at the end of it. - [Chuckles] - Alicia got to watch out. I don't know what he says, but he's right. [TV chatter] Ohh, next. [Cheers and applause] Next. Man: So we replaced... Next. Hey, hit me. Huh? - Hit me again. - Oh. Come on. [Chuckles] Mm. Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm, mm, mm. - Good? - Mm-hmm. - Good? - Oh, that's good. Oh, I love this one. This is the bear. It goes fishing. Look at this bear. Look at his big, old back feet. Finally gets himself something to eat. Yeah, 'cause he doesn't need a pole. He just looks into the river. [Cellphone buzzing] I got to, um... I'll be right back. I love that bear. Hey. Hey. How's your dad? Drunk. We're, uh... I'm, uh, trying to keep up with him. [Chuckles] Really? His idea. Not my idea. What am I gonna say? No? Yeah, true. Might as well. How'd it go with the sponsors? Not well. They love you. They just don't think it's a great fit. What did they say? They weren't impressed with your last fight. I told them you were sick, but the real issue is the stuff with your dad. Ryan. What the fuck am I supposed to do about that, Lisa? I already went to fucking prison. I know. I think it's just getting people to understand what you've been through. It's none of their fucking business. That's personal. I don't want to talk about that. Maybe there's a way to do it that doesn't suck. Let me think about it. All right. [Indistinct chatter] Alvey: Yes? [Door opens] Mario Goldsmith's here. Oh, yeah, send him in. - The poison pen. - How are you, Alvey? I'm great. I'm great. Have a seat. Thanks for coming. [Sighs] You mind if I... Record this? Oh, this is not an interview. We're just gonna have a talk. - I record everything. - I'd rather you not. Thank you. I want to apologize. - You really don't have to. - No, I do. I reacted emotionally to your article. That was a mistake. You know, these people are my family. I'd kill for them, but I shouldn't have said what I said about you. Or my father's cunt? [Chuckling] Your your father's cunt. Got a little personal. Well, you got a little personal, too. - I don't think so. - No? Came after me. Came after my gym, my fighters. You came after my son. How is that not personal? I write about MMA. That's all fair game. Yeah, but your tone... You came after me. How so? Well, you were writing shit that wasn't fact. Well, um, Nate lost his fight. Ryan looked like anything but a champ. - What am I missing? - Perspective, for one. That's a loss and a win. How is that the downfall of my gym? You worried? No. [Chuckles] Come on. Alvey, you got to be a little concerned. Not a bit. And this isn't an interview. Well, I appreciate the apology, but it's not necessary. You know what, you haven't seen my gym, right? Let me give you the 10-cent tour. This way, the next time you butcher me, you know what the fuck you're talking about. - Mind if I take some photos? - Whatever you need, Mario. [Music playing] [Indistinct chatter] Hey. Lisa's looking for you. She's in her office. All right. I'll be right there. What's up? Shut the door. I saw you training with Alvey today. Oh, man, I fucking sucked. I was so nervous. He was impressed. He made it a point to tell me that. - No shit. - No shit. He still thinks that you've got a long way to go, but he's engaged, and that is a good start. Look, I'll do whatever he says. I mean, this is... This is all I care about. Good. 'Cause I also had an interesting meeting with a sponsor today who is looking for a female fighter, - and I thought of you. - What kind of money? [Laughs] It didn't really get that far. I just wanted to see if you were interested first. Fuck, yeah, I'm interested. Are you kidding me? What is it? Mm, it's an energy drink called Slaughter Water. You know what, I don't even give a fuck. I mean, dude, I'll freaking sponsor an abortion clinic for all I care. Are you kidding me? [Chuckles] My bad. It's okay. I'll set up a meeting. I also wanted to find you a fight. How do you feel about that? I mean, yeah. What do you and Alvey think? I mean, what does... What does Alvey say? We both agreed that it's got to be the right fit, but I'll start looking around. Jamal: What are you doing? I clocked out. Employees can't eat in the dining area. You know that. Does it really matter, Jamal? It don't matter if it matters. It's corporate. Take it to go. Can I have my check? Wipe that down before you leave. Is this both weeks? Jamal: Same as always. You don't know me, but this is not me. I don't suffer complicated women. But Laura, you know, she's got me... She's got me making exceptions. So this chick lives in the same house she lived in with her ex? Yes. - And he owns the house. - Correct. - And they're not fucking? - Nope. So he's giving her a dope house for free, taking her to all these high-end events, and she's not giving it up? Yo, I got to find me a guy like this. You think she's full of shit? Look, I don't know her. No, but I'm asking for your opinion 'cause my instincts are askew. No dude's ever given me anything for free, period. If she's fucking him, I don't know when she's doing it because I'm with her all the fucking time. Well, she's not with you now. What, you don't think people fuck during the daytime? [Blender whirring] Of course. I mean, people fuck at all times. She could be fucking him right now. She could be fucking him in Ojai or in a fucking sailboat for all I know. I appreciate your candor. I'm both embarrassed and illuminated. You did nice work today. Are you gonna be with us tomorrow? - Every day. - Indeed. Yeah, have you seen Ryan today? Um, he's with his dad dealing with some heavy shit. But it's not about you, so don't sweat it. I don't. Goddamn right you don't. Alicia Mendez sweats no man. - [Chuckles] - Yes, ma'am. [Music playing] Alvey: Nate! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, what are you doing? Sparring with Juan. No, no, you're... No, no, you're not. Come here. I said no sparring until your head's right. I'm fine. You're not fine. You're not fine. You're not cleared. You're not fucking training until you are, okay? Done. Finished. Just do some cardio. I got to train 'cause I took a fight. You did what? I took a fight. It's in Fresno next week. Are you out of your fucking mind? You put yourself in a bad situation. Hey, listen, I can train here or somewhere else. It's up to you. - I'll leave right now. - Oh, will you? What do you think this is, huh? You making a fucking... You making a choice here? You're making a big fucking mistake. You understand me? You're gonna fuck everything up. I'll fucking leave right now. Oh, yeah? Give me the fucking word. Okay. Ground only. No fucking striking. Got it? Give me the gloves. Ground only. Fucking Fresno. [Gloves thud] Fucking idiot. Here you go. [Lounge music playing] Wait. Hold up. Coach. Sorry, I was in the shower. No problem. I'll let you out over there. Hey, thanks for working with me today. Oh, you're welcome. You're just getting started. I feel like I'm not normally that bad, though. - It's those fucking nerves. - Everybody gets them. Is there anything to do around here? - Do? Like what? - I don't know. Go grab a drink or something. I don't feel like staying home. You want to grab a drink with me? We could do that. We could do that. Let's not. You're a talented fighter. You have my attention. - No, I didn't mean that. - Oh, I know. See you tomorrow. Good work. [Both moaning] Oh, my gosh. That was so good. You are fucking insane. [Breathes deeply] Well, I try really fucking hard. - [Laughs] - So I'm glad you noticed. [Sighs] So, does this mean you're over your little freak-out? Hmm. No, I didn't fucking have a freak-out. [Gasps] - Yeah. - Mnh-mnh. - Yes, you did. - No, trust me. If I was fucking freaking out, the police would be notified, helicopters would be deployed. We'd have hounds released. Well, can we at least be on the news? News? Baby, it would be the top fucking story. [Laughs] [Sighs] I need a drink. You want one? You know I can't have a drink. Don't tempt me with that. It's empty calories, you little sorceress vixen. [Laughs] You're a woman! Yeah, a woman you just fucked. [Sighs] I'll be right back. [Sighs] [Cellphone buzzes] [Sighs] [Sighs] [Blows] - Hey. - Hey. I thought you were asleep. - I can't get comfortable. - Oh. Where you been? I went for a drink. You okay? - Nate took a fight. - No, he didn't. Yeah. Some shit-bag promoter. Doing it in Fresno. I told him it was a big mistake. He basically told me to go fuck myself. He's a grown man. He can do what he wants, but this is not good. No. I got to corner him. I can't leave him by himself. [Scoffs] Can't get a break. What's that? - I'm having a glass of wine. - Really? Doctor said. Oh. Did I miss another appointment? No, you're good. Mm. In other news, Mario Goldsmith wrote all about his day at Navy St. Already? Those little fuckers write fast. You want to read it? Nah. I'm not reading anymore. Fuck 'em all. I don't give a shit what they write about me. Yeah. Fuck 'em all. I want to have sex. Right now? Right this very moment. - With me? - Mm-hmm. Huh. And I only had half a glass of wine, so you can fill the rest of it up. Oh, and don't be a gentleman. You're not gonna hurt me. How's Paul doing tonight? It's not Paul. It's my assistant. - Show me. - No. Because it is Paul? - Oh, my God. - Show me the phone. Just show me your phone. No. Fuck you. I'm not showing you my phone. It's not Paul. Why am I having a hard time believing that? Hmm. I don't know. Let's dig deep. Yeah, let's... let's do that. Maybe because of your mother? Excuse me? - Yeah. - Excuse me? She told me all about her addiction and how she left you guys and how it fucked you up. And I am starting to see that. Have you even ever been to therapy? No, I haven't. Well, maybe you should try it. Why are you letting this guy take care of you? - He's not. - He is. He's giving you shelter. So what are you doing in return? What the fuck are you giving him in return, Laura? ! You think I'm fucking him so that I can stay in this house? I think it's a fucking reasonable fucking suggestion, Laura! - Oh, my God, Jay. - Don't you think? Not every relationship is transactional! Every fucking relationship is transactional! That's the fucking definition of a fucking relationship! I can't do this. Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura! Fuck! [Objects clatter] I can't get you out of my fucking mind! You're fucking with my head! I'm sorry! I'm fucking sorry! I'm sorry. I'm jealous. I'm a jealous fucking guy. I want you to go. Please, Laura. I'm a fucking jealous guy. I want you to go. Fuck! Fuck. [Music playing] [Vomiting] [Toilet flushing] [Sighs] [Keys clack] [Music fades] [TV chatter] Dad? Dad. Oh, shit! Oh, I'm so sorry. I-I just went for a run. I-I, uh... I should have been here, dad. When you put down an animal, it's an act of human kindness. I don't want your mother to come here anymore. She loves you, dad. I mean, we both do. Ryan, that's enough. [Sighs] Hello, Peter, it's Geoffrey Barkway. I wonder if you are available. I'd like you to speak at my conference on human justice. Tell me honestly, does my bum look big in this? I prefer the pinstripe. Now, ties. What about classic green or this rather happening yellow number? What do we think? If you don't get a move on you'll miss the conference. All right! OK. You have yourself a very, very well-deserved holiday. Thank you, I will. I hope the speech goes well. Thanks. Lyle, don't forget the good name of Kingdom Kingdom lies in your hands. And in Scott's. You may need to be quite firm. Don't worry, cometh the hour, cometh the man, and I ameth the man. Ahoy, shipmates! - Bon voyage, Mr Snell. - Wait for me! - What are you doing? - I wouldn't want to miss the party, would I? It's a conference, Simon, a serious conference. (Starts car) I'd like to begin by welcoming you to this keynote presentation on the essentially universal subject of human justice. Given by a small-town solicitor from Market Shipborough. (Bicycle bell rings) And remember, best behaviour, Simon. Ah, Peter! Susan, you remember Peter Kingdom, don't you? Yes, of course! How very nice to see you again. And you, Mrs Barkway. Um, go ahead, my dear, I'll be along shortly. Hello, Mrs Barkway. And Simon! Something of a surprise. I heard you were dead. - Funny, I heard the same about you. - No, no, no, very much of the living. Well, "As a dog returneth to his vomit," I suppose. Um, Professor, I was rather hoping we might discuss my speech. Of course, of course. I've had the porters prepare your old rooms. Come and see me when you've unpacked. (Hums happily) (Rock music blares) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey! (Music off) - Keep the noise down. This is a place of work and I'm in charge, so you do as I say. - Mind if I make some calls? - Whatever. No sex lines. PROFESSOR BARKWAY: Janet, please, we must discuss this sensibly. Janet, please, the research. Look, you can't keep running away. Come on, Janet, be reasonable. We have a duty to resolve this. - It's for the good of the college. - We both know it's nothing of the sort! You'll get nothing from me. Scott? Coffee! Black, two sugars. - Try rebooting the whole system. (Another phone rings) - Luke Skywalker mug. - OK, I'll call you back. And a custard cream. (Rock music) Scott, will you keep the noise down! (Music off) - Get your own coffee. I'm not your slave. (Gentle chimes) - Sherry? - Thank you. Dinner tonight at High Table and tomorrow we start the conference bright and early at ten. The college has suffered something of a minor tragedy. Three weeks ago, Dr Mary Goodyear, head of our biology department, died while on a marine expedition in the South Pacific. Yes, I read about it. Dr Goodyear's research was of the very first order, you understand. But when I came to examine her papers after her death, it soon became clear that sections of the research were missing. Goodness! What, you mean stolen? No, no, no, no, nothing like that. It's this bloody librarian, Janet Cramer. - And she is? - Dr Goodyear's partner. - Research partner? - Good Lord, no, she's not got the brains for that. Her lesbian life partner. It turns out Janet Cramer's got the bulk of the research squirreled away somewhere and won't give it back. Says it's hers, not ours. I really can't be dealing with these people, you know. What, lesbians? Librarians. Oh. Awful, small-minded, orderly, finicketty little nobodies, stuck away in their dusty, desiccated bloody towers. That research has to be returned to its rightful place. It's for the good of the college. Scientists have been waiting two decades for it to be published. I've tried to reason with her but she won't listen to me. Thinks I'm some antiquated ogre. But she might listen to you. I see... Tell me, when exactly does your nomination for Master come up? Peter! SCOTT: Being a lawyer's easy, there's nothing to do. You and I need to have a little chat. Someone to see you. - Good morning. - It's my cats. They need to be looked after when I'm gone. - Right. Come through. (Phone rings) Don't worry, boss, I'll hold your calls. Have a seat, Mrs erm? - Er... Compton! - We'll see what we can do for you. Maybe we could set up a trust fund so they're provided for. - What? - A trust fund. So that they are provided for. Of course they are! Every morning, regular. Minnie has her milk warmed but Sandrine doesn't. Fresh from the fridge or she turns her nose up at it. The boys have their Crackles in the morning and the ladies in the afternoon, and that is important, and you should write this down, young man. Use your mouse. Mrs Compton, I understand. Leave it with me. (Knocks on door) Hi. Tell me something, Peter, when did this Mary Goodyear die, exactly? - Three weeks ago. - The same time Barkway invited you to speak at his conference. Thank you, and good morning. And welcome all to our conference on human justice. Bunking off class? That isn't like you. - Going to a rave or something? - No, the library. - Miss Cramer, please... - Let me get this straight. Barkway has seen that intimidating me personally doesn't work. So now he's sent his poodle to do the job instead. Really, Miss Cramer, I am nobody's poodle. Flat-coated retriever, possibly, but poodle, no! Professor Barkway merely... Barkway doesn't have a leg to stand on and he knows it. Mary left the work to me. All of it. - What, she put that in her will? - Of course. The funeral was four days ago. We buried an empty coffin. - Were you there? - No. No, because you didn't know her. Let alone spend 15 years of shared life with her. And yet here you are, demanding her work, demanding her papers, anything she left behind. "Come on, hand it over!" As if it's your right! It isn't! Is that clear? Very clear. Miss Cramer, we've clearly got off on the wrong foot here. Poodle or no, all we wanted was a chat. Maybe we could have one over a cup of tea. With buns? Cake? Cream? I know a place. Mr Matthews, thank you for bringing it round. I'll be right with you. - How come it looks like it's melted? - It's a G-Wizz. Well, gee whizz. It's an electric car. Totally green. Zero carbon footprint after manufacture. It looks like a handbag. Bet it really pulls the birds. I'm going out. You stay here and do absolutely nothing. (Mobile rings) - Just a minute. Hello. Millington Tech Support. - Make yourself comfortable, my boy. - Oh, yes! There we are. Ho-ho! It's driving like a dream, Mr Matthews. Like most people of genius, Mary had a grand theory. So... Thank you. Mary spent 20 years trying to model plankton population, so that we could work towards re-seeding the deserted areas of the ocean. You're talking about fish food. Plankton can also absorb carbon dioxide from the atmosphere, Mr Kingdom. Re-seed even a fraction of the Pacific and you could stop global warming in its tracks. - Reverse it. - Gosh! Gosh! That is why Barkway wants to get his hooks into it. But, Miss Cramer... Oh, please call me Janet, since you are buying me cakes and everything. Janet, all Professor Barkway intends is to publish Mary's research. Isn't that exactly what she would have wanted? Don't you think I'm a better judge of that than anyone else? So, you're going to publish it yourself? - No. - Why not? That's really none of your business. (Tractor horn plays Dixie) Just pull over here, Mr Anderson, and let's talk a little business. What about instalments? I could maybe find a deposit. No, these things are selling like hot cakes. I don't really do credit. Look, you're a lawyer, right, like Mr Kingdom? That's right, yes. My son David and his girlfriend are looking to buy their own place, and I was thinking I might like to help them, by lending them the money. Very generous spirited of you. So, look, why don't you do me a nice quick loan agreement, watertight, and I will let you buy a Whizz. An agreement that David can't get out of, that ties him down. If you want the car, I'm the only one round here who can help you. So, you'll be wanting to say yes. It's a deal! (Hums happily) Yeah, mate, just click Accept and you're done. The PayPal account's Millington Consultants. OK, bye. - What are you doing? (Sighs) I need a Wii. What? No-one's stopping you. No, a Nintendo Wii. Seventh generation games console. But it's pricey, so I need to make some cash. - Doing what? - Tech support. "Too thick or old to work your PC? Millington Associates are here to help." Not out of this office. It could be worth your while. I could cut you in. No way. You need a Whizz, I need a Wii. That's a perfect match. Lovely melty car could be all yours. All right. But my cut comes off the top. No more loud music and you make the coffee. - Deal? - Done! Of course she's going to publish it herself. Well, she seemed very clear that she wasn't. - And you believed her? - That is neither here nor there. Legally, she can do what she likes. Dr Goodyear's will leaves all the research to her. Then we must contest the will. This is the curse of the ethical being, Peter. The papers should be published. They could be published if we had them. Another man would simply take them and cut the Gordian knot in a moment. - Uh... - And yet our own ethics, our code of conduct forces us to do nothing. If only... if only there was another way! There's the matter of you pulling your weight. Time for Millington Anderson to diversify. Anderson Millington, and I've already had an idea, actually. Free quotation on our will preparation service. This week only, no appointment necessary. - Quarter page in the local paper. - I like! (Phone rings) Anderson Millington, how may I direct your call? Hello, Scott? Lyle? I'm sorry, who is this? Er, it's Scott. Sorry, it's a bad line. - Is everything all right? - Yeah, everything's fine. Got to go! (Dial tone) (Owl hoots) (Hums to classical music) Mm. - Oh, where have you been? - Oh, out on the tiles. And I had a little look around Janet Cramer's rooms. Simon! Just, you know, to see if I could cut the Gordian knot. By breaking and entering? ! Oh, that's what we do now, is it? Not breaking and entering, more easing and entering. That's not the point. The missing research wasn't there, but this was. Mary Goodyear's will. Don't worry, it's a photocopy. Cramer won't know. That is so far from being my objection to what you've done here, Simon. There's no mention of research. No mention of intellectual property. The will says nothing about these things. Janet Cramer's been lying to us. (lntercom buzzes) Yes? Someone to see you. Have you seen our PayPal account? Not bad. Not bad at all. You! You're Kingdom? Er? You are what kind of an idiot? You come along and all is ruined! You cheap arse-bastard! - Fantastic! - Correct. Have you been studying? No. I'm just not spending a night in a basement with a gentleman. I'm so nervous. You know, in the convent, flirting was frowned upon. Actually, frowning was frowned upon. Poor Jill. Poor, poor Jill. Where are our drinks? I'll go check. Hello. Can I buy you a drink? What the... oh! Oh, God! It's filthy. All those men were fighting over who could buy me a drink. Oh, what happened to your eye? I got lemon juice and grease in it. Oh, poor Joy. Poor, poor Joy. Wonderful evening. Have you ever had five men buy you drinks? Please, I've had six, often seven. Just let me do the talking. I've flirted my way out of dozens of tickets. What seems to be the problem, officer? Your blinker's been on for the last 5 Miles. I'm sorry, officer. We're trying to get to the hospital for my poor sister's eye. Wow, you have a beautiful accent. - Oh. - We have the exact same accent. Would you like an escort to the hospital? No, we're fine. We have an excellent navigation system. I'll let you go with a warning, but drive safe, okay? You're carrying precious cargo. Did I just flirt my way out of your ticket? Thrilling. You don't seem very happy for me. Of course I am, although, thinking about it, being hot isn't for everyone, which makes me wonder if, on some level, you wouldn't be happier back in the convent. But I don't want to go back to the convent. I'm having fun. Maybe, but it doesn't suit you. Oh, my goodness, you're jealous 'cause I'm blossoming and you're wilting. You just can't stand the idea of not being the prettiest woman in the room. Well, you know what? You're not even the prettiest woman in this car. That couldn't be further from the truth! Okay, look, the editor's gonna be here any minute. We still don't have an idea for this book. Don't panic. Maybe he'll be late. Oh, my God, he's not late. And the advance he gave us was huge, and we've already spent it. What? I didn't get any money. You've only been working here a day. Don't get greedy. You know what? I'll stall him. Anderson, how lovely to see you. This is my collaborator, Melanie. - Hello. - Listen. We could do that whole dance, but let me just bottom-line this for you. Melanie and I just need a little... Victoria, you better not be asking for another extension. You and Melanie have had two years. Two? Extension, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Delay this idea that is going to change children's literature forever? If anything, we need less time. Fantastic. I want to hear it after I take this. - Is there a place I can... - Oh, yes. Right down here. Just take your time, and while you're at it, you might want to tighten your socks, because they're about to get knocked off. Why did you tell him that we have a great idea? Honey, what do you think, one's just gonna walk in the front door? And now, thanks to you, I have to wear this stupid eye patch. It's not my fault. Face it. You liked me when I was mousy, and now that that's changed, you can't handle it. Nonsense! All I've ever been is a protective big sister. Then how come when you had an eyebrow-waxing business, you never got rid of my unibrow? Why would you want me to? So you could be sexy for God? That's sick. So tell me the idea. It's a story about two sisters, Joy and Jill. One was mousy her whole life because she was a mouse. Ah! They're both mice, and the other mouse was always the beautiful one. Right, but then, they switched. Sounds interesting. You know, mice do well in focus groups. Melanie and I are artists. We don't cater to focus groups. And how does your story end? Well, what kind of endings do focus groups like? The kind that are in my hand by Monday. Then you will have it by Sunday. What is wrong with you? I'm ready. How do I look? Oh, you'll be the prettiest mouse at the ball. What do you mean, mouse? Uh, nothing. Sounds like Elka's ready to go. - Do you need a lift? - No, no, no. We're gonna wait for Joy. You go ahead without us. So the newly beautiful mouse headed off to the ball. It's almost too easy. Now, what's our ending? We'll find out at the ball. The Earl is there. The two sisters will vie for him, and then whatever happens, that's the ending to our book. What? No. No, no, no, no. You can't let a little thing like a scooter and an eye patch stop you. How about this? I knocked my crown out trying to open my eye drops bottle. You cannot give up. This would be a terrible ending. Where would Cinderella be if she'd stayed home and felt sorry for herself when her sister was off having fun at the ball? Look at me. I'm hardly Cinderella. Victoria, she's right. Jill is the one that got beautiful. Oh, that's true. You've had your time. Jill's Cinderella now. Shut up! I'm Cinderella, and I'm going to the ball. I just need you to help me look pretty enough to capture a nobleman. No problem. This is gonna be harder than writing the book. The Earl of Cleveland is going to be here any second. I hope you memorized the names of the dignitaries. Oh, don't worry. I made a cheat sheet. - Oh, no. - What? These are my football picks. Elka, what were you thinking? I know. Ravens plus three? Here they come. - Oh, I'm screwed. - Don't panic. The Earl has to introduce his people to you. Just pay attention and repeat what he says. Councilwoman Ostrovsky, a pleasure. The members of my party: Chief magistrate Martin Portreeve, lieutenant colonel Rodson Heathcote-Drummond, the honorable Martin Gled-heweson, bishop of Lichfield, lord keeper of the privy seal Lemonde Oswolf-sticket. Everyone, please welcome the Earl of Cleveland. And with him plaidsy, war man, churchie, and... Lemony snicket. I believe we're going to have great fun doing business together. Gentlemen, please. You did it, Elka. You're a hero. Oh, save it for the real heroes, the ravens, if they cover the spread. Oh, you look so beautiful. Your eye patch matches your gown. Your gown covers the wheels on your orthopedic boot, and the super glue is holding perfectly on your dead tooth. I feel so glamorous. Damn it. Jill's already with the Earl. Look at her over there, shamelessly flirting with him. Maybe I should just go home. No, you can't. That's quitter talk. If you don't go down fighting, what does that do for us? Who look up to you. What's the use? Look, he's already interested in... Hello. You move like an angel, as if you were floating across the room. Thank you for remarking on my grace, your grace. Ah. Beluga, my favorite. - I simply adore beluga. - I adore it more. Mm-hmm. Delicious. Poor child, have you never had caviar? You must be so sheltered and naive. Well, I'm certainly not as worldly and experienced as some. Perhaps the Earl would like to hear a story of a woman who's been ridden by more men than the London underground. Or perhaps the Earl would like to see a recent photo of a woman with a mustache. I'm not sure that I would, actually. Who do you want the Earl to end up with, Joy mouse or Jill mouse? Of course I'm rooting for Joy. Well, obviously I'm rooting for Joy too. - But it's gonna be Jill. - Totally. I mean, we're writing a children's book, not how Joy mouse got her groove back. And then I said, "middleton? I thought you said wimbledon." Reminds me of the time I was invited to the duchess of... oh. What? Do I have something on my tooth? No, quite the opposite, actually. Seems you have a tooth on your something. Oh. Excuse me, won't you? Goodness. That woman's a bit of a disaster, isn't she? Perhaps you and I could go somewhere a little more private. I'd love to, but that disaster is my sister, and she needs my help. Would you excuse me? - Honey, are you all right? - Are you hurt? I'm fine, just hideously embarrassed. - Let me help. - Jill, what about the Earl? You took a tumble. It's my turn to pick you up and dust you off. On your feet, cabbage. She looks like a pirate. All that's missing is a parrot on her shoulder. All that's missing is my fist in your throat. Jill, that's so sweet. Let's save the smiles till we get home, shall we? Thank you. There's the end of our story: The sisters choose each other. Oh, I love the way we write. Thanks again for leaving the Earl for me. Oh, well, there are dozens of royals, but I only have one sister, and there'll be other men. Please tell me sex is better than caviar. They're both better with vodka. But if I could offer a piece of big sister advice, when it comes to men, be patient. You may have to kiss a lot frogs before you find your prince. Pardon me. Or not. I believe you left your boot wheel behind. Oh, Joy, it's like Cinderella. Oh, sweetie, I don't think he's here for me. Yes, while you're both extremely charming women... - you don't have to. - Right. I thought it was very lovely the way you left the party early to take care of your sister, but I wanted to get to know you better. Would you consider joining me for a drink? I'd love to. Ooh, would you give me a minute? - I'll meet you by the car. - Of course. "What a bizarre house, it even doesn't have a bell!" "Tell me." "Good evening, we are members of Federal Cop" "we would like to ask you some questions about a missing guy." "They say that he was with you the last time he was seen." "Could we get in?" "Yes..." "Thank you." Previously on Remedy... Come to Dallas with me. I have a family that needs me! When's the last time you did something, anything, without thinking about how your family might react? - I think Griff is in trouble. - I told you, he's using! Tell me you think our brother is not on drugs. - Natasha! - I tried calling, silly, for a month. It wasn't that whole night with the coke thing, was it? - You and me had a good thing. - I was used! Now I need you! Allen, I fired him. He's done. Let's talk. Jesus, she's a cop. What the hell happened? Fell through the floor at an abandoned factory chasing some jackass. - How's her airway? - Looks clear, but her sats are low, 93 percent. I'm taking her up to 10 litres of O2... let's push ***. She's tachypneic but breaths are shallow. Where are those chest tubes? - Laryngoscope? - Kelly clamp, now. Got no radial femoral pulse by palpation. - It's already at the carotid. - That's not a good sign. - How is she? - Right tube... is placed. - You need to find her husband. - I'll call dispatch, let them know. Let's get another tube in, keep pumping in the saline. We need to get her BP up. - What can I tell them? - Nothing, say nothing! Just get him here, fast. Ready to insert the left tube. Got no response to stimulus at any of the extremities. Right pupil's blown, left is slow to dilate. We need to get her... - She's in V-tach. - Damn it! Who the hell was she chasing, anyway? Lanagan Pike; fell into a shallow pool of water and sodium hydrochloride. Burns to the right side, deep laceration to the left thigh. Frig, man, that burns! I need that one for questioning. - You can have him when I'm done. - A police officer's been injured. 1, 2, 3, up. Backstage is off limits! Listen, man, just get Yannick. Yannick knows her, man! Her name is Natasha, she has brown eyes, she's a dancer in there, - Yannick knows her, she's totally sweet... - Hey, hey! - Take a walk. - Dude, listen to me. I'm sorry about what I said about your lack of neck that was hurtful, OK? But I gotta find her, man, you gotta help me! Dude, come on! Trust me, you're better off. You? Hey, buddy. This place has gone totally downhill. Hey, buddy, where'd you come from? I saw you inside, raising hell. Yeah, that chump took my backpack! So, Natasha... Yeah. Man, what about her? Have you seen her? Long gone, bro. She hasn't danced here in months. You know where she is? Last time I saw you, you wanted to punch my face in. You remember that? - Vaguely. - It was that chick. Zoe. - Out of the picture? - Out of the picture. - You got blow? - No, man. Why would I have blow? Natasha... Got a couple ideas where she might be. There he is! Welcome back, Conner! - Ah! That really does hurt, man! - Chemical burns will do that. Not too serious. Looks like the EMTs did a good job irrigating. That ambulance guy brought my camera? I gotta find my camera. It can wait. Those pictures are important! I need to do another round of irrigation on your burn before I can dress it, then I'll clean the stitches up. No, listen! That building is toxic, OK? I didn't risk my life in there so the cops could say I was getting my rocks off. - If you knew it was so dangerous, why did you... - It's my job. It's what I do. And what's that? Urban explorer and environmental activist. Nice. Go to school for that? I started climbing buildings, taking pictures, posting them online, whatever. Then I started hacking into these abandoned factories, saw all this toxic crap, right? So I started taking pictures and posting them to hold the owners responsible. - You ever think about the risk? - It comes with the territory. To others, I mean. The risk to others. No, these places are empty. It's just me and the bats. Not this time. Clear. 300. Clear. One more time. Charge to 300. Clear. Time of death, 8:37 PM. How's she doing? We couldn't revive her. She's... I know she looked bad, but you guys usually... Stephanie's injuries were overwhelming. We did everything we could. He'll be OK, it's, um, just rough. I'm sorry. - OK, Doc, time's up. - Stay away from me. - Come on, get up. - I'm not finished treating. ... She died! An officer's dead and we need to interview. Just back up, right now. Throw some bandages on him. This piece of crap needs to get charged! Come on! Come on, get up! Come on, get up! OK, OK! We gotta get him to division before his lawyer gets here. - OK, calm down. - I am calm! Call the divisional detective, tell her what happened - so she can call homicide, OK? - What about Pike? Dr. Connor isn't going to let him walk out of here. - Are you, Dr. Connor? - No, I'm not. Stephanie was 34 years old. What a waste. What a god damn waste. I want Lanagan Pike in the back of my car. As soon as you can. They're going to kill me! - Take it easy, Mr. Pike... - Are you kidding? Hanging a protest sign off a coal plant smokestack, I got thumped so bad I couldn't see out of this eye for 3 days. - Just breathe. - Look at what he did to you, and you're a doctor! Stay still. I told her I was coming down, she came after me anyway. She didn't know what she was doing, how to walk up there. We both fell right through the floor. She shouldn't have been there. You were trespassing. She was doing her job, too. OK, bend your knee. It was an accident. I'm going to keep you here for a few hours to monitor you, check for toxicity in your blood. OK? OK. Dr. Young to the NICU. Dr. Young to the NICU. We need to start questioning him. And I need to be sure he's medically clear before I release him. Excuse me. What's happening with the jackass? - Excuse me? - The kid who caused all this. He's OK. I mean, he's not, but his injuries are. - He'll be fine. - Jackass! - Stop calling him that. - Climbing in places like that? - He got a good person killed! - It was an accident. Peter... a cop died! There was no intention. In fact, he tried to stop her. You're defending him. He was just trespassing. It was a sad and tragic accident. I think you're minimizing just a little. I have to get to work. Can we talk about this later? - Or we could not talk about it at all. - Mel... No. I'm just surprised you feel that way. Alright, buddy, much as I love spending time with you, where the hell is this bar? Where is Natasha? Um... She works at this bar... She works... The bar is, uh somewhere. Hey, you and Natasha, - you sure she's going to want to see you? - Dude, she loves me. She never judged me. - Worst thing I ever did... - Dumped her? Yeah. You gotta listen to me: I got a vision. - It's important. - Alright. ... Hey! Whoa! - Yeah. - What is this, Thanksgiving? - You mean Halloween? - That's right. - Hey, kids! - Don't scare them! - You got any more of those? - Yeah. We just need two. How much? - Give me some money. - What? Come on, I lost my wallet. 20 bucks? Yeah, that'll do it. Here, 20 bucks. You gotta light us up, though, huh? There you go. - Alright. Stay in school! - Gracias. Alright, buddy, here's what I'm thinking, here's my vision: I am thinking simplicity. - Drugs! - Med school. - Med school! - I'm going to get a farm, maybe something simple, I'm going to start a practice, a fertility clinic Dr. Conner, helping bring light into the world. The only thing I need is Natasha. Ah! I remember where it is, it's this way! Let's get a drink. I'm so totally weirded out right now. - It was so weird! - Oh, come on, it happens. - Peter was defending him! - Who? - The jackass. - Oh, the jackass. He said it was an "accident". Well, that's a way of looking at it, or it's criminal negligence causing death. Exactly. Why didn't I say that? Well, my guess is that there's plenty of weirdness to come. What? You're moving to Dallas with a man you barely know. It's going to be a voyage of discovery, that's for sure. I gotta get downstairs. I'm going to try to get your brother's job back for him. Anybody hear from him? Sandy hasn't heard from him, neither has Zoe. OK, it's just been a couple of days, give him some time to cool off, - then if I can just... - He's not cooling off, Dad. He's in a crack den somewhere. You don't know that. None of us know that. Night, hon. Sorry! - Trauma. - No problem, I just have to hurry. How come? - Don't get upset. - Why would I be upset? I need to clean for... Sandy? There's a real estate agent coming by first thing in the morning. I need more milk. A... A real estate... OK, I give. Why? I was going to tell you on the way home. To value the townhouse. Value? I just want to see how much it's worth. - I know what value means. - I'm not selling, it would just be good to know in case. - You're going to be in Dallas... - I told you I'd pay my share! - It's too big for me and Maya. - It's only a contract! You don't know that! And it might be nice to be close to Mom. Mom? Yeah, in case I need help. Sandy, Mom dropped Maya on her head. It was an accident. Mel, you can't just go and make changes like this... - You can't sell the townhouse! - ... and not expect other people to make changes too. I'm going to go. Dr. Conner? Dr. Conner... I... Can I... Sorry to... I need to... Can I talk to you? - Nicole, you OK? - Stephanie. You were with Stephanie? The police officer? - Yes. I'm sorry, did you... - She was my wife. Oh, Nicole, I don't know what to say... - Yeah. - I'm so sorry. I... I want to... I need to see her. I think it might be good if you waited a bit. Yeah, no, I need to... - Stephanie's injuries... - I'm an EMT! OK? I'm sure I've seen worse. Please. I need to see my wife. Please... Got a minute? I'm off the clock. I want you to give Griff his job back. - No. There, less than a minute! - Well, let's talk about this. - He almost killed a patient. - It was an accident! It's still no. - Just like that? - Yup. - No discussion? - Uh, no. Alright. I'm not leaving until we talk about this. Close the door on the way out. I need to eat. Frank, wait! Nicole... It's OK, I just, I just wanna sit with her for a bit, OK? OK. I yelled down the stairs. - What? - When she left for work, I was too tired to go downstairs and kiss her goodbye. You didn't know. No one does. I never in a million years thought I'd marry a woman. I had a boyfriend, we were serious, and... I met Stephanie at some first responders thing, fundraiser, and all my everything turned upside down. I do. I do, I do. Nicole? Nicole! Nicole... - This better be good, Conner. - I have a heart failure patient. - You've seen my face, right? - I'm sorry? Beauty rest. It's the only shot I got, Conner. She had a loss and she... She just collapsed. Short of breath, complaining of pain in her chest. STAT echocardiogram suggests acute heart failure, ejection fraction is 20 per cent. Oh, and I got your email about Dallas. - They sucked you in, did they? - Looks like it. - This patient, she's... - Yeah, look: you and Peter Cutler, you're doomed, Conner. And then where will you be? You'll be in Dallas, surrounded by strange, Dallas-like people who don't understand you. Sir, the patient is an EMT and her wife died - and now I think she's had a heart attack. - An EMT? - Nicole Foster. - Book an angiogram. I'll be right there. Mel, we need to talk. Are we OK? Actually, I'm not so sure. We're allowed to have a bit of a difference of opinion. Tell me we're not rushing Dallas. We're not rushing Dallas. You know what I'm talking about, right? No, not really. Mel, Dallas is happening. I have job and it looks like you have a job too, - if you want it. - Maybe I don't want it. You said you did. Things change. People change. - So you're not coming? - That's not what I'm saying. - What are you saying? - I'm saying that I'm nervous. - I'm getting scared. - Doc? Sorry... Just hang on a sec. - Mel... - I have to get back to Nicole. Doc, the nurse says we got a green light. He's all yours. - Thanks. - And Officer? I've taken a strict inventory of Mr. Pike's injuries. There are detailed notes on every bruise, scratch, and cut. OK... So if he ends up back here with a new injury, I'll know where it came from. Get him out of here. I don't see her. She works here. I'm positive. She a waitress, bartender, like, what... She's a waitress. I know the manager. I'll go talk to him, see if she's on tonight. Give me some money, I'll get drinks. Is that Marla? - Come on! - ♪ Tired and wasted ♪ ♪ That's where I'll be ♪ Keep looking, I'll be right back. ♪ Tired and wasted ♪ ♪ That's where I'll be ♪ ♪ Stars that only ♪ ♪ Sing to me ♪ ♪ Desperation ♪ ♪ Found on your street ♪ Donna was the chef. Antoine was her number two. Back there was Ray and César, they were the kitchen staff. Gunther was the catering manager, Candace was his assistant. Lots of other people. Good people. They were here, then they were gone, and nobody came down to say, "Can we please keep them on?" It wasn't fair. You think? - But Griff is different. - Oh, yes, he is. Because they didn't do anything to deserve to be turfed. That was a board decision about an entire department. Griff is one person who slipped. - We're calling it a slip? - Work is structure. It's a support system, Frank. - Employees, when they stumble, desperately need... - Oh, now it's a stumble? I'm not running a rehab program. Relapse is inevitable, if that's what happened. Oh, that's what happened. Griff had one, two bad weeks. Before then, a year where he wasn't a problem. Hey, I warned him, Allen! Think about the stress that he was under - the explosion, the suicide... - It's still no. - He just needs another chance. - Allen, stop! It's no. One for the road? - You hungry? - I could eat. I heard you got fired. Yeah? Whatever, I couldn't stand it there, to be honest. Yeah. My whole family works there. - Nightmare. - Total nightmare. To freedom. So you and Zoe, huh? Yup. - Can I tell you something? - What? Don't take this the wrong way I never got it. I never thought she was right for you. You're too... wild, too alive. I was wondering if maybe you needed a place to stay tonight. Griff! Natasha's not here, but don't panic. I got an address from the manager for 20 bucks. Hugh, we were thinking about maybe calling it a night... No! No way. We're on a quest. He's on a quest! With a vision. I did not know that. - You have a vision? - Yes, he does. It involves a fertility clinic and a stripper. It's beautiful. Sounds gross, actually. - You can come too. - No, you can't. You're not in the vision. She's not in the vision. Marla. It was good seeing you. You too, Griff. Good luck. You OK, baby? Uh, um... OK. I've done the catheterization. Yeah, no, I wasn't talking to you. Hey, Sam. You two know each other. Yeah, that's right. Biblically, even. We dated. We did not date. We were in love. Or at least I was. I'm really sorry about Stephanie. Sam... Hey, sweetie. - I don't want to. I can't. - I know. - Not without Stephanie... - I know. I don't want to go on. I know, listen: I gotta tell ya, I have never been afraid of anything my entire life, except for your father. So I have got to go in and look for blockages and try to fix them so he doesn't kill me, OK? OK, let's do this. Alright... OK, Dr. Conner, you are looking at perfectly healthy arteries. There's no blockages here. So it's not a heart attack. No. OK, let's check the ventricles. Thank you. Pushing more dye. Oh yeah, there we go. Look at the shape there. All squished up like a Takotsubo vase. like a Takotsubo vase. See that, that's textbook. Um, Nik... What you got baby, you got a broken heart. - Oh Sam, don't... - No, baby. No, I'm serious, baby. You have stress cardiomyopathy. Yeah, it's also called broken heart syndrome. It's associated with sudden, intense emotional or physical stress. The muscles around your heart took such a beating when you got the news about Stephanie that they're just having a hard time keeping up now. You really do have a broken heart. But we can treat this. I can't lie to you, we've got to go through this entire night incident-free. If we can do that, you're gonna be fine. Hey! We need a doctor! What the hell happened? Kid started complaining of a sore throat in the car. - Started wheezing, choking... - Let's get him on the bed. Pike! No verbal or motor responses. What the hell is... That's bruising around his neck! Looks fresh. Sats at 90 and falling. There's some cyanosis in his fingers. - Heart rate... - 185. I've gotta tube him. Scope! - I'm here, what's up? - Sudden acute respiratory distress. Looks like trauma to the neck. Obstructed airway. - Kid's circling the drain. - I need the endoscope. - What? Why? - This temp airway the cops put in, I can't take it out. I gotta intubate through it. Damn it! - What's yours for? - I can't... No landmarks. - O2 sats down to 88. - Hurry, Jerry! - There's too much swelling! - We don't have time. OK, hold on, I think I got it. ET tube. - OK great. Let's get ready... - No, sorry. It's totally closed. - Heart rate up to 190. - He needs an airway now. - I'm gonna cut. - Prep the area. Here we go... Tube! We have an airway. I was looking for rings, trying to butter up her parents. I just called them, by the way. They're going to be here in the morning. Hard to imagine. Losing your partner like that. Yeah. So, Dallas. It's a great opportunity. You got all kinds of opportunities here. - A state of the art facility. - Come on, you're a surgeon. All you need is a sharp knife and some thread. "State of the art"! You're not going there for any opportunity. - You're following a fella. - I'm not following a... Peter and I are going together. Whatever gets you through the night. You know, she... She told me in the doorway of a Portuguese bakery in Montreal. She was in love with a woman. And she was happy, you know? I mean she was crying when she told me, but she was happy. Took a lot of guts, falling in love like that. You guys stayed friends? Yeah, mostly. Mostly. It took some time. Will she be OK? I don't know. Her heart's gonna be weak for a while. Maybe forever, I don't know. You know Dr. Jerry Gordon is the guy for you. You do know that? Thanks for your help. - I couldn't get in. - It happens. And Dallas. Exciting. Big trauma centre... Congrats. That's great. You don't mean that, do you Jerry? Sure I do. I'm thrilled you're gonna be thousands of miles away. Doc? - I didn't touch the guy. - No, that bruising around his neck just appeared like magic. What was it, a choke hold before you put him in the car, or after? I wouldn't make accusations like that, Doc. I'll do whatever I want. He almost died. Which would have been a real tragedy. We still need to talk to Mr. Pike. He's going to be a little busy, what with the CT scans and the trip to ICU. Well, we'll just wait. There it is. Casa Natasha. - Let's go make our vision real, dude. - Yeah, no, my vision. - Yeah, I know, but we're sharing it. - Yeah, no. We're not. Get out of here, man. Do you even know what friendship is, dude? Does it have anything to do with taking all my money, my drugs, and apparently trying to share my girlfriend? - She's not your girlfriend. - Go. Get out of here. - Go, go. Get out of here! - 'Til next time, Conner. You need help. Hey. Griff, get out of here! Griff! - Griff, what... - Natasha, listen to me. One of the greatest regrets of my life is that you and I... - No! - Natasha, I have so much to tell you. - Griff, my boyfriend's upstairs. - So leave him up there. - You're high! - I have important news. I am no longer clean. - Listen to me... - Griff, I haven't used in months. You're taking out the recycling in the middle of the night in your pyjamas. I mean, what happened? - Life changed. It got... - Boring? It doesn't need to be. Come on. Oh, my God... You know Candace, in catering? - My first wife. - I didn't know that. Yeah. Candy Kanaskie. No wonder she left me. Omelettes. Sure, a bachelor's standby. Oh, I'm married. Oh yeah, you said first wife. I assumed that meant there was a second. And third. I was talking about me. Omelettes are my standby. Sausage? Kielbasa! So what, after the lawyer who went gay, you figure, what, one then done? Well, the job, the kids, it got hard to find a serious... - No cheese? - No. No, no, no. So it's not a classic, then. Kanaskie classic. Yeah, my exes, they blamed the job too. No kids, though, unless you count the ones I supervise here. It's a lot, but they just didn't understand what it takes. - Your wives. - Yeah. Commitment. You have to care. You're not going to stir? - Stir? - Yeah, you mix it - quick while it's cooking. Here. - No, no, no, no. My omelette, my way. OK. Your PSAs, your porters they're your family. Why won't you give one of 'em a break? - Come on, Allen... - We all fail. You failed at marriage. - Twice. Someone gave you a third chance. - I didn't do drugs. Frank, all I'm asking, as a colleague, as a friend... And it's still no. What are you doing here? You're not on graveyard. A friend was admitted so I thought I'd stick around. Everything OK? Think so. I hope so. - Cup of tea? - Green. Thanks. Thanks... It's dirty, there's something in the... - Jerry. - What? What are you doing? Being forced to work quickly. - Normally, I'd be much more charming. - Take it back! It was the biggest mistake I ever made, in my life, - not giving that to you. - Don't... don't... - Don't do this. - The situation calls for a grand gesture. That's all I got. I love you, Mel. And not being with you, it hurts. Every day. - And it's my fault, I blew it. - Stop. You're right, I should stop. Jerry this... - ... isn't going to work. - It could. It did. And then it didn't. Keep it. I don't want to throw it away. OK. So, like, hmm, I am... I'm, well... My boyfriend, Luke, hi Luke, he.. he said that he... he wants me to do this, and he told me he doesn't think that I will. I, Stacey Ragota, hereby accept the cinnamon challenge. OK. Whoo. What a dumbass! Well, probably not your finest hour, Stacey, but... No, him. I didn't want to. Luke dared me. Your boyfriend dared you, so it's his fault? What was I supposed to do? Stacey, just because he asked you, doesn't mean you had to do it, you're the one who's responsible for you, and... We're in a relationship and you are not my guidance counselor. OK. Where's Luke right now? At his mom's. He thought I was funny. Well, Stacey, you now have aspiration pneumonia. How funny is that? Not. You may have also done lasting damage to your respiratory system. - Wait, for reals? - Yeah, for reals. Stacey... Luke sounds like a bad boyfriend. I love him so much. I just wanted to make him happy. Hmm, it's interesting. That's it, that's all you got? - The eggs are brown. If you... - They're supposed to be brown! - Not really. - It's a country omelette! What would it take for you to reconsider your decision? Little appreciation of my cooking! I want us to work together to remove the obstacles to Griff being rehired. Allen, I'm the obstacle. - Last word? - Last word. You like the kielbasa? - New chief came to see me. - Gillray. He's planning on eliminating supervisory and middle management positions, so... I'm a supervisor. Allen, you gotta do your best to protect me, I... This is not the Allen Conner I know. - He's my son. - Mm-hmm. You're not even a little ashamed of yourself maybe? A little bit? He's in trouble, Frank, I know it and you know it, and I just, I... I just gotta keep him close. If I can, if we can do that, I can... I have a chance to help him. Otherwise, I don't know where he is, or - how to find him or he could be dead in... - OK, OK. - OK? What does that mean? - OK. Griff gets his job back and I keep mine. I won't forget this, Frank. Yeah, well, I'm going to try. I just, when I started these classes I had this feeling that it was all part of my destiny, but I didn't know how, - but now I do. - It's so great that you're back in school, Tash. I promise you, when I get my licence you can quit and go back. I already quit. Yeah, OK, but you can dance - and go to school can't you? - Not really. Alright, but it's kind of expensive for both of us to go to school, so, you know... It's not gonna happen. Drugs, med school. Duh. OK, but I can, I... I got this. I can control the drugs. Duh! No, it's cool. Listen, you'll dance, you'll put us through school, - and then I'll... - Decide you're too good for me? It's not gonna be forever, babe. Stop talking to me and hope I get the idea? How 'bout I be the doctor and you be the stripper. - Where are you going? - I have to pee. Calm down. - Cool, yeah. Right. - OK. When you come back, we'll get a little more coke. We'll get out of here. - We'll figure all this out. Promise. - Yeah... Yeah. Brought you something. - Is it chocolate? - No. Oh, wait... it is chocolate. How's she doing? Couple more hours, and she should be out of the woods. Mel... I don't think you should come to Dallas. I said I was scared. I didn't say I didn't want to go. I know, but... You're getting cold feet. - No my feet are fine... - Liar. I think you're going for the wrong reason. Is this your thing? Thrill of the chase and then lose interest? I'm the bad boyfriend you want to make happy. - Peter, what the hell? - And you don't even know it. - I'm going to Dallas. - I don't think you should. Tough! You made your bed, you're gonna sleep in it... with me. I saw you kissing Jerry. - That wasn't... I wasn't kissing... - Looked like you were. He was kissing me. - I actually came up here to see a patient. - The jackass? - Don't... - He's in the next room. - So the chocolate was for him? - Mel... - It was a retropharyngeal hematoma. - What? I snuck a look at his CT results. - So he wasn't choked. - No. It happened earlier. Probably from the fall. I need to go. My place after shift? Sure. Why not? - I was getting worried. - I can't do this. - What? Tash, stop... - Griff, just stop. That's my sponsor. I texted her. - What, you're in the program all of a sudden? - Yeah, I am. Come on! I was sober for 8 months - before you showed up at my door tonight. - Tash, listen. We can work out the whole stripping thing, I was being an idiot, OK? Don't leave! If you leave, I'll have nothing. We have a future. We have a vision. Ugh... Hey, come on, don't go! Natasha, come on. - Officer Scott. - Doc. So... Lanagan Pike had a retropharyngeal hematoma. Blood pooled in his neck, most likely as a result of the fall. OK. So we need to keep him here for a few days. - So to be clear, I didn't strangle him. - No. Well that's good, that's real good, 'cause I was worried I got carried away. I was out of line. - I apologize. - Thanks. Means a lot. - Mr. Pike's intentions were... - Intentions? I don't give a rat's ass about Lanagan Pike's intentions. He didn't break a window. A police officer's dead. I'm not saying he's not responsible - for his actions... - Hey, hey next time an ER doc dies in the line of duty, give me a call. Pretty, pretty blanca, as ordered. That's great man, that's really great. Look man, I kinda ran into a little bit of trouble tonight. Oh yeah? That's too bad. - I don't have any money. - You're hilarious. - Hey, you know I'm good for it. - Hey, Griffin, I come out here late at night, my 13-year-old is watching my baby... I appreciate that, man, I really do. I don't expect gratitude, man. I expect you to have the money. Go home, Conner. I got this. What about your beauty rest? I'll exfoliate, I'll be fine. Plus, she's getting better. - Call me when she wakes up? - Mm. Hey... Hey, Nik. How you doin? - Hi. - Hey, Nicole. Hey. Good news. Your vitals are strong. Your dad's gonna let me live. - You fixed my heart. - Yeah. You know, most of it. - Thanks. - I'll see you tomorrow. Yeah... I miss her. It's OK, it's OK. It's OK. Alright, alright! - Griffin... Oh, my God! - Hey, Sandy. What happened? I'll call 911. - No, no, no... don't. - OK, I'll get some ice. No I don't have time for that, just sit down. - What? Griff... - Sandy just sit down. Sit down. I need money. I got into some trouble with some guys tonight, and, uh, they say that if I don't pay them tonight, I... - We have to call the police. - No, don't. Sandy, the police won't, just... It's better if... I hate to ask. You want me to beg? You want me to beg from you? - OK. - No... OK, Sandy, I'm begging. I am begging from you Sandy. I need some money so please, could you give me some money? Sandy, I'm scared, I am scared, - and I am begging you for money... - How much? - A grand. - $1000? Hey... I'll pay these guys back, I'll be back here - in an hour, tops. - Griffin... I'll come back here Sandy, we'll call Dad. We will work this out as a family OK? I promise you. Hey, it's Griff. You know the drill. Hey, Griffin. It's me, your father. I just want you to know that I love you. And that we all make mistakes. You're responsible for your actions, I'm not saying you're not, but I want you to know that you're not alone; you have me and your sisters and even your mom. I got you your job back. I know it's not... It's not the best, but you know, maybe you're doing some good there and we're there for you, and... um, you can... So just call me OK, just call me please. Would you do that, please? And you're not alone, Griffin. You're not alone. - Long night? - Yup. - We should sleep. Talk later. - No. Talk now. OK. Jerry kissed me. It was a Hail Mary and it failed. Total fail. - You believe me? - Yeah. - Poor bastard. - Jerry's a good guy, so don't... No, I'm not. It's just that, I mean, man, it's gotta hurt. One time I kissed this girl who I was, - I had such a crush on... - I don't need to hear this. - I had to watch you kissing Jerry. - Yeah but that's not... Anyway, I did the Hail Mary thing, and it was great, I thought, and after the kiss, I was like, here we go, this is gonna happen. - OK. - Yeah, OK, that's what I thought. "OK." Except she said, oh, kissing me was like kissing wait for it... her brother. - Oh that's so gross. - Right? That's not what it's like kissing Jerry. What? He's a good kisser. I'm just being honest. But not as good as kissing me. I forget. Mm... Still not sure... You win. I'm going to Dallas because I love you. Do you love me? I can't believe I have to ask, but... Yeah, I do. I love you. I knew that. So we're going to Dallas. Together. But first we sleep. Watch the Season Finale of Remedy on a special day, Tuesday May 19th on Global. Hey! - All right, ease up! Easy, now. Whoa, whoa, whoa. On your way. Come on! Come on, girls, come on. Come on. - Come on. Get a move on! Come on. Come on. - Are you bloody deaf? On your way. Come on. Keep the girls moving, Stan. Slow as they want. - All right, Mum. What's she playing at? ♪ I can see them talking but I only hear the voices in my head ♪ Waiting for the moment they'll be calling to me ♪ And if I try, I'll remember that the words were never said ♪ Only now the others hold no meaning for me ♪ And I'll see ♪ With wide-open eyes ♪ Of blindness ♪ I'll leave ♪ The ever-calling cries ♪ In silence ♪ Every place we shouldn't go ♪ We shouldn't see, we will never know ♪ And all I want, all I see ♪ All I fear is waiting for me ♪ Now I see ♪ I'll be ♪ Eyes wide open ♪ All the cries ♪ Broken for now... ♪ Morning. How do you do? Well, all I can advise is don't get complacent. - I won't. Asthma's a condition that can lie low for years, then out of the blue, something triggers an attack and then suddenly you're in trouble. Thanks for the all-clear, Doctor. Give my regards to your mother, David. - Will do, Mrs Campbell. Thank you. Have you given any more thought to what I've asked - about enlisting? I just want to know whether or not they'd take me. That's all. But if they say "yes", then that won't be all, will it? Erica, I'm not going to do anything rash. I just want to know my options. I suppose I was hoping that the girls and me wanting you to stay with us would be the only option you'd need. The appointment's at 3:30. I'll be back in time for evening surgery. David's turning into a fine young man. - Hmm. He is. Best enjoy this while we can. Hitler's got enough on his plate without picking a fight with us. His appetite for territory seems rather insatiable. Will you be there this evening? If I can get away. - Oh, do try and make it, Miriam. Turning out in force to oppose Joyce's proposition is the only way to get it thrown out. Will you be there, Alison? Of course. Boxing gloves on. Granite chin at the ready. Excellent. You may well need it. I suspect it could get rather bloody. How was the check-up? Fine. - Good. What can I get you, Alison? - Some tongue would be lovely. Oh, I was expecting you back half an hour ago, Claire. I'm sorry, Mrs Cameron. Bit of a queue at Brindsley's. And then, in the grocer's, a few of us were talking about tonight's meeting. As my employee, you'll appreciate that I expect you to vote in favour of my proposition tonight. Staff loyalty is a quality that I hold in very high regard. It's essential for a harmonious household. Yes, Mrs Cameron. There's a list of chores on the kitchen table. I'd like them completed by the time I return. I'll be out all afternoon. Yes, Mrs Cameron. Mr Taylor, please. Dr Campbell? This way, please. Waiting for inspiration, Mr Simms? Well, it has to come from somewhere! We all assumed Pat was your muse. Doesn't quite work like that. See you at the meeting tonight? - Yes. Thought you might like a sandwich. Another coffee would be more useful. How did it go? Will? - You'll be pleased to know I didn't pass the medical. What do you mean "didn't pass"? You're the fittest man I know. They found a little something during the examination. - What? Well, a slight irregularity with my breathing. - How slight? I'm sure it's nothing significant but I need to get it looked at. Well, then let's hope it's just enough to prevent you from going back in. Be careful what you wish for. - Mm-hm. Ladies, none of us should be under any illusion about the prospect of imminent war with Germany. If and when hostilities break out, there will be much to be done to ensure that our homes and families are protected from the trials and tribulations the war will inevitably bring. And it is for this reason that your committee proposes the Institute closes its doors until we can raise our flag again in a time of peace. Oh! Argh! It needn't be for long. The government assures us, if and when they begin, hostilities could be over by Christmas. Madam President. Few who lived through the last conflict will set much store by government assurances that any war against Germany will be over swiftly. Mrs Barden - - When war does begin, it will hurl us all into a period of great change. Something you, Madam President, have proven steadfastly resistant to over the course of your term in office. Mrs Collingborne, would you kindly control your sister? As you know, Madam President, that isn't as straightforward as you imply. Ooh. Can you help me up? Blimey... what happened to you? Army lorry. Ow. - Ooh. Oh... - Oh! Sorry. Are you all right? - I'm late. Where are you going? I am more than willing to put my proposition to the vote. Any objections to that, Mrs Barden? Only that the membership has been so tightly managed over the years, it will almost certainly deliver whatever you ask of it. Shame on you for not sharing my faith in our colleagues' independence of mind. Shame... on... you. If we walk slower, it might not hurt so much. I can't walk slower, Mr Wilson. I'm late. Well, why don't we leave your bike here... and I'll get you to where you need to be double-quick on the back of mine? Sure you can carry me? You're no heavier than a bag of mail. - Charming! A small, light, bag of mail. - Hmm. Uncommonly pretty eyes. Oh! Ow. Ooh. - Are you all right? Ow. Ow. 13. Nail-biting stuff, this is, isn't it? Ladies... it is with some surprise... I announce the vote to be... a tie. This means that, as president, I have the casting - So sorry I'm late! Uh bit of an accident on my bike, Mrs... Madam President. You haven't voted yet, have you? - Indeed we have, Claire. The vote was a tie, which means that I have the casting vote. With all due respect, Madam President - And I cast my vote in favour of closing the Institute for the duration of the hostilities. But... But I'm here now. And it's lovely to see you. But, alas, I'm afraid too late for you to vote. I respect what you said about loyalty this morning, Mrs Cameron Madam President. Think very carefully about what you're about to say, young lady. Feel free to speak your mind, Miss Hillman. You're among friends here. I'm not ashamed to say the thought of war scares me. It terrifies me, if I'm honest. But that's why I need this. You. I feel very strongly... the Institute should stay open. So that's how I would've voted. That's all very well, Miss Hillman. But I'm afraid the vote is closed. A president's casting vote should only be used when there is a genuine deadlock. If Miss Hillman hadn't been waylaid, then she would have been present to vote. Yes, but she was waylaid. And the vote was taken. And it was a tie. And, consequently, I had the deciding vote. If you don't allow her vote to count, I shall have little choice but to call a vote of no confidence in the president. This could have far-reaching consequences, Mrs Barden. The president is, after all, elected by the members, and I urge you to think very carefully - I demand a vote of no confidence in the president! I have served this branch to the best of my ability for six long years... I'm sorry, but I absolutely demand it. ...and I categorically refuse to be subjected to this indignity, and hereby... offer my immediate resignation. They'll come back. - I don't think they will. Well done, Frances. Well, one way or another you've handed Joyce exactly what she wanted. What's up with your arm? - Shh. It's fine. Steph. Show me. Agh! - Bloody hell, love. It's nothing. - That's a cow-kick. - It's my own fault. I was in a hurry to finish milking so I could get in and dry off. That's a bad one. If it's no easier by morning, I'll call Dr Campbell. Don't be such an old woman. 'Now a special announcement. The German government announced tonight their response to a British communication and gave their proposals for a settlement of the Polish problem.' Where's Dad? - In front of the fire. Kettle done? - Not for an hour or so. - Right. I've come to a decision, Ma. What about? Enlisting. What? - All the lads are talking about it. Well, you can't enlist. You can't stop me when I'm 17. - You're forgetting one thing - Neither can Dad. - I'm not talking about him. I'm talking about your condition. If Doc Campbell gave me the all-clear, so will the navy. The navy? - As soon as I'm 17, I'm going to join the navy. Have you told your dad any of this? No, he fell asleep before I could. My mind's made up, Ma. It's what I want. I'll see you in the morning. We need to order a new stethoscope. I suspected it was on the way out. Just tried it on myself and it appears I'm already dead. I'll do it first thing. I might order a couple, before they all get requisitioned by the army. No need to rub it in. - Not meaning to. Just pleased on an ongoing basis. You're back early. We were thrown out of the cinema. This old chap was constantly sneezing, disturbing everyone, so Laura had a quiet word. I politely suggested that if he was so unwell, the cinema wasn't the best place for him. Sound medical advice. Good for you. He spluttered off to the manager, who threw us out. I told him that if we did go to war, I hoped the first German bomb on England would land on his cinema. That's a terrible thing to have said. - Not with anyone in it! So you're banned from the cinema now? - For life! Come on. - I'm starving. Aren't you pleased to be able to stay at home to see those two banned from every cinema in Cheshire? What every father dreams of. How is it? We need to keep the arm in this position for a couple of days. After that, you can take the sling off, but you must look after it until the pain has completely gone. She's lucky it's not broken. - "She"? I'm not one of the bloody cows. My apologies. - Dad? Bad enough Stan being in two minds whether to call out you or the vet. No point in telling you to take a few days off work, I suppose? I like a man who can answer his own questions. Saves me from stating the obvious. Look after her. - Hmm. Fresh straw and everything. You think he's joking. Have you spoken to him? - If this is what he wants, we can't stop him. You forgotten how old he is? - I was a year younger. If you were my son, I'd have stopped you. You wouldn't have had the option. Young men are drawn to war like moths to flame, Mim. It's their chance to prove themselves. Or be blown to pieces trying. From a bullet or regret - more than one way to die. Spare me the glory of the battlefield, Bryn. It took us years to get through it. You still can't pour a jug with a steady hand. That said, I'd sooner have gone than not. David isn't ready. - No-one is. You're not listening. It's not a choice. Not for most. Well, now your precious Institute's closed, perhaps I'll have your full attention. You've always had my full attention, Bob. - No, no. Your mind is frequently elsewhere when it should be focused on ensuring that the only breadwinner in the house is looked after. But if you'd allow me to work, I could alleviate some of the financial worry. We've had this conversation. - But - Yeah, but we've had this conversation. Yes? Mmm. Why aren't you having any? There's only enough bacon for one. You have it. Hands and knees, Pat. I'm waiting. I'm begging you to help me. After you gave David the all-clear, he went down the recruitment office to find out about signing up. When the time comes, they'll give him a medical and if they find anything relating to asthma, they won't take him. Tell them he's got it. David is a young man - - He's not a young man! He's a boy! A 16-year-old child. I understand how you must be feeling. You have two daughters who'll never see action! You can't possibly understand how I'm feeling. All I'm asking is you write to the recruitment office and tell them that David has a history of chronic asthma. But, Miriam, he doesn't. It's acute at best and has, thankfully, been on the wane for a number of years. They don't need to know that! - That's quite enough! With all due respect, Erica, this is between me and Dr Campbell. Will has looked after your family for many years. He has great affection for you all, but you're asking him to commit a malpractice. He can't possibly do that. I sympathise. I really do. But you'll do nothing. I can't do what you're asking. - If they take him, my son will die. Miriam, I think you should leave now. Save my child. She won't be the last. The County Organiser thought we had little choice but to close due to catastrophic loss of membership. She had been in touch with Joyce but Joyce has refused to return, which means none of her supporters will either. She suggested we join our nearest Institute for the duration. Did she explain how we're to cover 16 miles there and back on bicycle? At night, with military vehicles charging all over the place? She did not. So that's it. Either way, Joyce has got what she wanted. The closure of the WI. Well, then, not if we attract more members. How are we going to do that? In all honesty, I've no idea. But that doesn't mean we give up. I should be getting back. - And me. You did what you thought was the right thing to do. Up to a point. Then I acted on impulse and made the situation intractably worse. Me and my big mouth strike again. Well, I happen to love you and your big mouth. Thank you, Peter. That makes me feel... marginally better. Cookie says supper will be five minutes while the beef rests. Thank you, Claire. Is there something else? - I just want to thank you... for letting me come and work here after Mrs Cameron let me go. Well, we couldn't stand by and see you suffer for speaking your mind. Mrs Cameron's loss is very much our gain. You're very welcome here, Claire. I can't thank you enough. - You just have. Well, here's to "speaking your mind". ♪ The very thought of you ♪ And I forget to do ♪ The little ordinary things ♪ That everyone ought to do ♪ I'm living in a kind of daydream ♪ I'm happy as a king ♪ And foolish though it may seem ♪ To me, that's everything ♪ The mere idea of you... ♪ - Coffee! Pat! More coffee! ♪ The longing here for you ♪ You'll never know how slow the moments go ♪ Till I'm near to you ♪ I see your face in every flower ♪ Your eyes in stars above ♪ It's just the thought of you ♪ The very thought of you ♪ My love ♪ You're thinking about Joyce, aren't you? I can practically hear the pistons of frustration pounding in your head. I'm not wasting any more mental energy on that woman. But I am thinking about how we might resurrect the Institute. Might not mothballing be for the best for the time being? Given that everyone's looking inwards now. On the contrary. War can be very isolating. The Institute would provide women with a sense of community and purpose while their men are away. - I understand that - Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Look. What would Alison do without the WI? I'll tell you. She works all the hours God gives. Without the WI to get her out of the house once a month, her life would almost entirely consist of accounts and that dog. The bushes are dripping with blackberries this year. Hmm? - I couldn't help noticing. You can see them, even in moonlight. Are you all right? What an absolutely brilliant man you are. In four days, Alison will commemorate the loss of her George in a North Atlantic convoy 23 years ago... his name carved for ever onto the village war memorial. The very first fatality of the Great War was a merchant seaman. In all likelihood, the very first fatality of this war will be one too, sailing the same route for the same reason - to keep this nation supplied with food. Which is why every pound of fruit we preserve as jam is a pound that won't need to be shipped here through treacherous waters. To that end, I've made a survey of the local area and put together this map of all the blackberry hedgerows in and around the village boundary. Our aim must be to collect it all. Frances... - We never made jam under Joyce Cameron. She thought it was too downmarket for her WI. By making it now, it would serve as a signal to all the women of Great Paxford who felt excluded by Joyce and her crowd. It would be a line in the sand between the old Institute and the new. A line in the sand made of jam! There's miles of it. - And very few of us. We can't be daunted at the first hurdle. Others will answer the call. I'm sure of it. When? - Why, have faith, ladies. Hold fast. Look at this. It's for the Women's Institute. Oh, yes? Oh, it does sound good. Mr Farrow? Mr Farrow. What's this? Women of Great Paxford, join us for a harvest of blackberries for the purpose of making jam. "For the purpose of making jam." Why not just say, "to make jam"? They know how to make it sound better. Bollocks. - Unlike you. This will be a small part of our planned contribution to the nation's food supply in the event of war and a re-launch of the village Women's Institute following its recent closure. ALL welcome. "All" in capital letters. What do you reckon? - What, baking cakes and arranging flowers? It's not for me. - This doesn't mention cakes or flowers. But it does say "all" in capital letters. Not for me. You should go... for the purpose of getting out more. Leave it, Stanley, all right. Move out... - Right. When The Saints Go Marching In ♪ Oh, when the saints go marching in ♪ Oh, when the saints go marching in ♪ I want to be in that number ♪ Oh, when the saints go marching in ♪ Oh, when the stars fall from the sky ♪ I want to be in that number... ♪ I brought back your bicycle. Oh, I think you're mistaken, Mr Wilson. That's not mine. - It is. Fixed the brakes, replaced the chain, cleaned and oiled the gears. Added a nice new basket. Repaired your saddle, changed both tyres, refitted new inner tubes and... cleaned and polished your frame. That must have set you back. The bill for parts and labour stands at you calling me "Spencer". Oh. Very well. Thank you so much... Spencer. It's my pleasure. Erm... Oh. Claire. Well... bye, then... Claire. Bye, Spencer. And thanks ever so much. Spencer. Lovely bicycle. Isn't he? ♪ Oh, when the stars fall from the sky... ♪ Is Bob getting any work published at the moment? A little local journalism here and there. No new book on the horizon? He isn't finding it easy, following the success of his first novel. I do what I can to help. I take care of the day-to-day things so he's free to focus on his work. Try and keep him happy so his mind can focus on being creative. Cook him his favourite food. That sort of thing. Tonight I've cooked him pilchards. Hmm. Bob loves pilchards. There you are. - There's a lot more than I'd expected. We've been at it for hours. - We have, haven't we? I want to apologise for the other day. - There's no need. I should never have put Dr Campbell in that position... or said half the things I did. I understand. I can't imagine how it must feel to think of your child going to fight. What...? - It's heading for the village. If Will doesn't need me, I'll be straight back. Do you want a lift? Thank you! What happened? - I heard Bob shouting for help. I found him being violently sick and doubled up in pain on the hall floor. We need to go, Doc! - Tell Pat. Ah... Pat? Come in. Will asked me to let you know Bob won't be discharged until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest. Whatever it is, it's really knocked him for six. I think I know what it was. - Really? Pilchards. What? - They must have been on the turn. Well, don't look so worried. Anyone can make a mistake. Why won't you take my money? If you hadn't allowed us to pick your fruit, we'd never have made all this. I'm not going until you let me pay for it. Not for the WI and not for you. For the fleet. It would be lovely to see you at our meeting this evening. Busy, I'm afraid. All the more reason. Everyone gets so much from it. Without it, I sometimes think I'd curl up in bed and never get up. Hello. Thank you, driver. - That's all right, miss. Excuse me... Oh, Mr Wilson. Er... Spencer. Hi. Would you like to try some of our jam? Why not? I helped make it. Try that. Mmm. Delicious! I don't know if we have to retire so soon. That's been the plan this whole time. One last job, travel for a year, settle down and... Find normal lives. We're so good at this. Do we have to stick to that plan? Always stick to the plan. Are you sure this time though? Like really sure. I'm always sure. I could not be more sure about this. I'm a hundred million billion percent sure. Yeah, that sounds like you're pretty sure. We're 30 years old, sitting in a fake painter's van, about to rob a house. So cool. It's not cool. It used to be cool. Okay. This is our last job. As planned. Are you sure? I am... 100,000 billion percent sure. Shut up. Yeah, sure. Thank you. There she is. Faster than schedule. - Ready? - Yeah. Finish it. Finish what? The joke. Yes. The joke. So, um... So there's this man. He rushes to the hospital, gets there, the doctor comes out, and he says, I'm so sorry. Wait, why is he rushing to the hospital? Oh, his wife was in an accident. Wait. I thought I just said that. So where was I? Um... Oh right, she was in an accident, and the doctor says, uh... What kind of accident? Again, so, worst shape possible. She basically lost all of her limbs, so, the doctor says, you know, and she may not be able to recognize you ever, ever again, and the husband says, oh my gosh, this is terrible news. And the doctor says, by the way, she's dead. She's, she's dead. So a man hears that his wife's in a horrible accident, he rushes to the hospital. When he gets there, the doctor says, I'm so sorry, but the accident has left your wife blind, deaf, and mute, and she'll never be able to recognize you again. The guy's like, oh my God this is terrible news, and that's when the doctor says, I'm just kidding. She's dead. It's funnier. 30 seconds. Man, it's really our last one. Ssh. Wrap up, wrap up, wrap up. Shit. We gotta go, we can't go this way. Okay. You ready? - Yeah. - Ready. Okay. Where're you going? I thought you were with me. Get over here. Shit. Shit. Take your clothes off. Ah-ha, do it in your place for once. Who's he home with? I don't know. She's supposed to be a pilates. Hey, can we bring your dog up on this one? Wait, what? No. I'm an adult. Wait. What was that? Oh, God. My husband. Shit. Hide. I can go out this window. No, hide. Get in the closet. Go. Hi. Hi, honey. Honey? Honey, honey. Wait! No! Wait I can... Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, uh... Get the fuck out! Oh my God. Oh my God. Honey, they're robbers. Shoot them. Shoot them, they're robbing us. They're robbers. No, we're not robbers, okay? We're not robbers. We're... We're swingers. We're not into foursomes. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. She laughs when she's scared. Get the fuck out. Listen, we're not, we're robbers. We are robbers, okay, and she's not fucking us. No. All right, she's fucking this guy! Oh God, oh shit, okay. Hello, my name is Juan. I was... Cleaning the pool. Honey, I can explain, okay? This is, this is Juan. He's... No! Honey! Where you going? I have to help them. No, no no. The cops are gonna be here any second, and you're two strikes. Okay, you're right, you're right. They're gonna be here, I'm gonna buy them some time. Well, what about us? Take the van, go down the street, wait for me there. No, that's not the plan. Fuck the plan, Blair, okay. He's gonna kill them. How could you? I loved you! Hey. Hey you. This is the police. All right, freeze. Fuck face. We know you're up there, all right? We want you to come out, and reach for the sky, or... I will shoot you in the face. Oh shit. Shit. Shit, shit. Hey! Police! Freeze, fuck face! Hands in the air. Stop. Reach for the sky or I will shoot you in the face. What do you know about me, boy? Now it's done. I'm callin' this in. Thank you. Hey, guess what? In case you didn't know, you have the right to remain silent, bitch. Hello. No, no, no, no! Shit. Hey. You, you're out. Where you taking me? Shut the fuck up. We're almost there. Are you okay? Yeah. Blair, I'm so sorry. Okay, I'm, I'm a fucking idiot. I just... Please don't tell me those were Timmy Song's guys. He's the only one powerful enough to get you out. Okay. Blair, we have to go. We have to get out of town right now. No, Ollie. I gave him everything we had. And I had to borrow on top of that. Look, you don't have to worry about that right now. No, I have to worry about it, okay? He calculates his late fees in body parts. All right, when's our first payment? Next week. Fuck. I set the thing up already for tomorrow. What do you mean, tomorrow? Connor offered. It's a vacation home- - Connor? The reason why I have two strikes is because your brother is incompetent. He's reckless. All right, he can't read. Hey. I looked over the plans and they look good. Okay? Easy. All right. Okay, after this, it's our last one. This time for real. Our last one. I should have listened to you. We should have stopped a long time ago, but I kept... Ollie! What? He won't work with you again. We're doing this job without you. Shit. All right, let's go over this again. All right. 7:00 AM we leave from here. 8:30 we arrive at the house. I back the van all the way up to the front. 8:35, you pick the lock, and open the side door. Okay. Blair keeps the van running', and you and me load up. Good job. You got any problems picking up the van? No. All right, so it's all filled up, we're ready to go? Filled up? Riley. Come on, man. Details. No... I'm sorry. You mad? I'm not mad, I just, I'm disappointed. All right? You're my crew. So bring your A game. I'll go do it right now. No, forget it. I mean, we have enough time tomorrow morning to fill up the tank. It's the principle of the thing. Let's just go over this again. Hey. Hey. Hey. Ollie. What's he doin' here? Just hear 'im out. No. Connor, I just came by to say that I appreciate all the help. Jellyfish. Yeah, I'm really just helping my sister out. So... I understand that, and thank you. Yeah. So, uh, what's the plan? Well, 7 AM we leave from here- - Riley, no. Stop. He's not part of the crew. Didn't my sister tell you? You're not in. I understand that, Connor. I was just, wanted to see what you guys had planned. No. This is exactly my problem with you. You're problem with me? You want me to take care of this, boss? Step back. You just tell me to step back? Don't tell me to step back. I'll step back if I want. I'll step off, I'll step up to the streets if I want to. You know what my problem is with you, Ollie? Your lack of respect. That's my problem with you. I, I respect you. No you don't. You don't trust me. Never have. Maybe that's because you've landed me in jail twice. That's not helping. You're not helpin'. Where'd you get this guy? I told you to play dead. I escaped because I played dead. Played dead? Yeah. That wasn't my fault. Get me? Yeah. Where'd you come from? I've known this guy for six months. What is that? It's a good plan. I'm his crew, we go way back. What about you? I'm his sister. Okay, everyone stop. This is my lead, my research, my job. You're out. No, wait. Connor listen. Look, I'm begging you, okay. I'm begging you to let me go. Look, the only reason Blair is here, the reason why we're in this mess, it's because of me. I didn't put her first, and now we've lost everything. And I can't risk losing her too. I don't care about the plans, I don't care about the score. I'm begging you. Please let me come. If I let you come... I have ground rules. First, the cut remains the same. You're not gettin' any extra money for coming along. Totally fair. Yeah. Second, you're lookout only. You're not goin' inside. Can't he be lookout? It's fine. Actually, yeah, can he be lookout? I'm not done. Last, you need to respect my leadership skills. I'm the leader, okay, and you need to treat me accordingly. You realize that real leaders don't tell others they have leadership skills, but you got- - You sure about that, man? I mean, this is my heist, right? This is just a robbery. Look, this is your heist, you're the leader and I respect your leadership skills. Too late, homie. All right. All right. You can come along on the heist. It's not a heist. Thank you. Hey, all right. Yeah, okay. Thank you. Yeah. It means a lot. You guys hear me okay? Yep. Clear up here. All right. Be back in a minute. All right, guys, let me show you how the big boys do it. I'm buyin' boobs. What are you gonna get? What? With the money from this. My girlfriend needs bigger boobs. It's the first thing I'm buyin'. What about you? I like my boobs. So your girlfriend just straight up said, honey, buy me boobs? Naw, she didn't know about it, but she's mad at me, so, I'm gonna surprise her. Hey, turn around for a sec. Where'd you get your boobs? Yours are real, huh? Nice. Riley, if you don't stop looking at my boobs, I will uppercut your dick, I swear to God. That would hurt. Is everything okay? Yeah, Riley's just telling me about how he's buying new boobs for his girlfriend. What, is she mad at you or something, Riley? Yeah. She mad at me 'cause I wanna go to Mars. This just keeps gettin' better and better. Wait. You were serious? Yeah, and I signed up on a program, where you can win a one-way trip to Mars. I think it's like a nine-month ride in space. And she don't understand why I wanna do it, but I'm like, come on, man. It's Mars. Like, I could be the Magellan of space. I mean, I might not actually be Magellan. I'm sure I'd be like his first mate or somethin'. I don't know. I don't know. They're probably not gonna pick me. Don't give up hope, Riley. You never know. Hey, what's Connor doin'? Connor. What's goin' on? Everything's fine, I'm just gonna go around to the back. Hey, player, I have one for you. So, a cop shows up to a crime scene, and a citizen shows up and says, officer, officer, quick, there is a hundred minorities and a plumber that really need your help, and um... And the cop says, oh no, we should help the plumber, and the citizen says, see, cops never care about the minorities. Wait, is that right? Okay. A citizen runs up to a cop and says a hundred minorities and a plumber need your help, the cop says, why the plumber? Then the citizen says, see, the cops never ask about the minorities. Damn it. He just forgot all the important parts, right. Fucking cops hate minorities, man. Dude, I got pulled over for tinted windows once. Hate the po po. I'm in hell. What are you doing? Just being safe. There's no one in the house. You sure about that? I mean, you never know. No, our whole job depends on being sure. You should always know. How long did you monitor the owner's pattern? I know the plans say he won't be back for a few weeks, but how long did you monitor his routine? Like, two- - Two months? Two weeks. Two months? Connor. Connor, come in. I don't see him. How long has it been? Just a few minutes. Did he forget how to pick a lock? That's not a rhetorical question. Yeah, no, I agree. That's a fair question. Hang on. You stay in the van. You don't need to bring that. You're not the boss. Hey, Blair, maybe I should come down there. No, we got this, all right. It just, something's not right. Stay put, stick with the plan. Blair, can you hear me? Blair? Blair, Blair. Hello? Hello, hello, hello, hello. Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair, Blair. Shit. Just stick to the plan. Just stick to the plan. Yeah, we'll stick to the plan. We're good. We'll just ah... Stick to the plan, and it will be, you know what, fuck the plan. Blair! Connor. Blair, Blair. Ow, ow ow ow. Ow, ow. Shit. Blair. Blair. Fuck. Come on, Blair. Where the fuck are you? Blair? Sorry. Shit, Blair. Fuck. How did you get in here? From the skylight. Fuck. Listen, I heard you scream. Are you okay? I wasn't screaming. I've been calling you guys. What are you been doing? Everything's dead. I know. Move, move, get out of the way. Come on, hurry, move. You ready? Yeah. I told you guys it wasn't gonna work. What the fuck, man? You're supposed to be on lookout? What's goin' on? We're trying to find a way out. But everything's locked from the outside, and these locks, I just never seen anything like them. The walls are concrete, and I was telling the guys I think the windows are palladium- - Palladium plated. Actually, that means you can't break the windows. We're just double checking. I know what it means, Connor. Don't fucking start with me, man. All right? I've got this under control. What about calling out? Nothing works. Cell phones, walkie, everything's, there's no signal. This is really fuckin' bad, man. Ah, Goddamn, I think I broke my ass. You got a gun? Yeah. - Well let's use it. - What? Get out of the way. - No, no no. - Get out of the way. Ah fuck, Riley. Shit, what are you... Ah, stop. - Shit. Just stop. Look. Ah, shit. Yeah, that's ah, that's palladium. Riley, you're a fucking idiot. Man, just say what? Don't talk to my crew like that. At least he's doin' something. Have you tried playing dead? I gotta show you somethin'. Blair, I don't get it. I mean, there's nothing in this house. Why would anyone keep it on lock down? It gets worse. Great. What, we gonna pay Timmy Song back with with a 200 dollar TV? So he's into low-budget slasher flicks. Really, really big special effects budgets. Same place. Same place. Ollie, I'm really scared. Blair. Let's get out of here. I was gonna say I'm really scared too, but yeah, let's get the fuck outta here. How can Conner's inside not know this? Hey. He had an inside, right? That's what it said in the plans. No, he lied on the plans. There's no inside. Shit. Connor! Shit. It's all your fuckin' fault. Sit down. You can't punch the leader. You are not a leader, okay. You're a fuck up. You've always been a fuck up. I need you to calm down. Okay, we need to figure out a plan before that sick fuck comes home. What about the skylight? That's like 25 feet up. Even if we stand on each other's shoulders circus style, we won't be able to reach it. We tried that already. Text. I thought you said the signals are blocked. I'll just ah, hit send and throw it to the skylight. It's a signal jammer, okay. We find the jammer, we kill it, then we call for help. Look, it's a new plan guys, all right. You guys, you sweep this are out here for the jammer, Blair and I will take the bedroom. You don't tell me what to do. Can you wait for me? Riley. Yeah. Hey. I need you with us, okay. We gotta find that jammer. He's right. No. I'm a fuck up. No, you're not. We all make mistakes. Look at me, I'm in deep with Timmy Song, right. I will never let him near you. Okay? Ever. I know you won't. Good? Yeah. Riley and I will sweep this area. Thank you. Can I have my gun back? No. Come on, just, come on. You guys know what a jammer looks like, right? Does it have like a fan on it? Fuck. I knew he'd find a way to fuck this up. He always does. He has not changed at all. Ollie, can you please just stop? He's still my brother. It's not in here. What the hell? I already checked there. What? Nothing. Dude, I'm just sayin', don't let 'im talk to you like that. Fuck 'im. No, seriously, you say the word, I'll clan his ass, son. Don't worry about it, all right. I need you to focus. Come on, Riley. Help me out. There's not even any fuckin' silverware in this place. Oh no. What? What is it? There's no beer. What the fuck is wrong with you? Oh shit. Come on, come on. Oh shit. Blair, Ollie. Did you find it? No. The skylight is sealed shut. How did you open it in the first place? It was already wide open. I just went through. Us too. He's back. Yeah, well we got a fuckin' gun. Why don't we use it? There's only one bullet. Riley, how many bullets did you bring? Well, you only need one bullet to take 'em out, right? Technically that's true. So here's the plan. No way. Guns and Riley don't mix. Will you stop insulting my crew? You guys, no new plans. We stay together, and we find the jammer, okay. Where? We already checked everywhere. Not everywhere. Damn it. I got nothing. That's because it's not down here. Shhh! Blair, give me the gun. No. Well then give Riley the gun. My gun. Yeah, it's his gun. Now look, I'm making an executive decision here. We're gonna go after this sick fuck, and we're gonna take him out. Are you fucking kidding me? We just saw what he's capable of. I'm not going after him with one bullet. Blair. I found something. I bet you the jammer's down here. No. Ah. Mm-mmm, mm-mmm. Ah, that's right. You're claustrophobic. Fuck claustrophobia. Dude, you never ever go into a dark underground layer. That's the smartest thing I've ever heard you say. Ever. Stop insulting my crew. I was complimenting him. I what you doin'. Thank you. Riley, you want your gun back? Yeah. You can have it if you go first. Are you sure? Deal? Let's just get this over with. Hey, you know who always dies first in these situations? The black guy. What the fuck is this place? What is that? Blair. Sorry, sorry. You still do that? She laughs when she's scared. Dude, I thought it was a ghost. Really? A ghost? I'm afraid of ghosts, okay. Riley, keep going. Okay, okay, okay. Wait a second. What? What do you think are behind these doors? Oh, you know. Cleaning supplies, toilet paper. Really? No! Not really. Connor, sssh. You idiot. Don't talk to me like that. I'm your crew. Riley, just, keep going. Okay. Oh shit. Gimme that. No. What the fuck? What was that? Find the jammer. Wait. Riley! Fuck, it's a dead end. Okay, okay. I think we're done here. We need to go back upstairs. I don't wanna anger the spirits. Agreed, agreed. Okay. Wait, wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Do you see that? What? I think this is it. Is that it? Yeah, it looks like it. How do you turn it off? Yep, that works. Okay. I think it's off. Everyone try your phones. Okay. Who do we call? 3-1-1. Call 9-1-1. No. We can't call the cops. Dude, you are on your third strike. I'm on my fourth. He's right. You can't go back. You guys, we have to, we have to worry about getting out of here alive first. Stupid phone. I should have upgraded this piece of shit, but no, I had to save money for boobs. I have one bar. 911 Sheriff's Department. Hello. Sheriff's Department. I'm in a house at the very end of Sange Road. There's, there's four of us. We're being held against our- - Department... I'm a white person! Shit. I don't know if it went through. Let's go upstairs. Okay. Stay together. Go upstairs. Yeah, I like that idea. Hello. Is someone there? My name is Vivian Thorpe. I have been a prisoner in here for weeks now. Wait. We have to get a signal first. Blair, we gotta help her. We're gonna help her, but we can't help anyone until we get a signal. It's gonna take two seconds to get our- - Both of you stop. Blair's right. Connor, shut up. I'll help her. Riley and I got this. Hey, what? No. Right? Fuck it. Let's do it. We're staying together. Just go find a signal. Go. We'll go, we'll go. No. Wait. The door. Spirits. Oh, no no no. Connor! Yeah. Are you okay? Yeah, we're fine. Look, we're gonna, we're gonna figure out how to get her out of that thing, then we'll find a way out. Just, find a signal. No, we're not leaving you. Blair, just go find a signal, okay. We gotta go, we gotta go. We'll be back. Okay. Let's get her out of that thing. No, no no no no no. Shit. All right, uh, let's take a guess signal here. My phone's dead. Here. I'm gonna try to get this open. Okay. Ready to move? No. Are you sure? Hey. Hi. Oh shit. You okay? Who are you? How did you find this place? We're nobody. We just found it by chance. Are you okay? You need some food? Yes. Please. I'm sorry. I don't have any. What? What the fuck, Riley? No, um, I thought... Why would you say that? I'm sorry. I thought that... I'm so hungry. I thought there was a cracker, or like some fruit left or some shit. I don't know. Put that away. Oh, I'm sorry. Are you here to hurt me? No no no. No no. No no, we don't wanna hurt you. Okay. Not at all. I'm sorry about him. Yeah. We're robbers, and we're stuck down here with you. You're robbers? Yeah. You don't make any sense. We were pulling a heist. I'm the leader. He's part of my crew. Yeah, don't, don't judge us on our rugged exterior. Find anything yet? Nothing. I think we just should have sent that text. Look, it was a good plan, okay. We found the jammer, we killed it, we could have gotten a phone call out. So no one knows that you're here? No. Wait a minute. Why would you rob this place? We, we thought it was legit. There was no one here. We watched it for two weeks. Oh God. Oh God. You're lying to me. You have to be lying. What? I don't know anything about robbing, but I do know that two weeks is not enough time. No, two weeks is the perfect amount of time. It's not enough time. That's more than enough time. Yeah, so much time. Oh my God. We can do a lot in two weeks. Plenty of time. An eternity. Hey, you know what? My driver and our lookout, they're calling the cops right now, so you're gonna be okay. Everything's over. Now we just all need to sit tight. What? No. No, no no no. No, we can't do that. He's gonna be back here. He's gonna kill us. You don't understand. Who? Him. He's not right in the head. He did things to me. You want a tissue? Never mind. Just get me out of here. Please. Okay, hey, hey. Okay, no no no. I'm not trying to touch you. Okay, I don't wanna touch you. Don't look at me. Okay, we're not looking at... Hey, dude. Hey dude, dude. Hey! Wait! Wait, we're just trying to help you. Wait, wait. Riley? Riley! What was that? Dude. Riley. Connor. Riley, what's goin' on? Dude. Riley, can you hear us? Open the door. Connor. He's not here. We got separated. Just help me open this damn door. We're trying. We can't, we can't. Wait. Hello. Who's there? Riley. What's happening? Who is it? I think there's someone in here with me. I can hear you, motherfucker. Shit. Spirit, is that you? No, no Riley, it's not a spirit. Can you run? Wandering ghost, I vanish thee. I, I, I, vanish the from... Just disappear. Okay, disappear from the world forever. Riley, it's not a spirit. You gotta run. I'm warning you. Leave me alone. Riley. Riley. Riley. Shit. Come on, come on, come on. Help us open the door. Riley. Tell my girlfriend... I woulda skipped Mars for her. Riley. Riley. Get back, get back. Oh my God. Riley. Riley. It's not a ghost. It's... A... Oh shit. Come on, we gotta go. Ready? Ready, go. Ollie! I thought you were with me. Sorry. Is he dead? I can't tell. Riley. Riley. Help me. Grab it, go. We got you, Riley. Riley, Riley, get up. Get up. Riley. Riley. Something's wrong. He's dead! Oh shit! Oh shit. Ah! You left the back door open! Shit. Look, are you okay? What is this place? This is where he has his fun. Look, we gotta find a weapon. All right? There's nothing here. What are you gonna do with that tiny knife? Who are you? - Who are you? - No, no. Wait. Stay away, stay away. We're not gonna hurt you. It was Vivian, right? Yeah. Where's that guy that was with you? I don't know. I don't know him. He was... He was behind me. Gimme your phone. You have a phone? Did you call someone? We did, we, got a call out. Are they coming? We're not sure. They're not coming. The signal was in and out, but, it still might have gone through. Look, Vivian, we need to find a way out. I can't. I can't. Do you know of anything, any way out? Are you sure he was behind you? Yes. I don't trust her. What do you mean? I just... I have a bad feeling about it, I, we need to find some rope with her. Blair, she's been kidnapped... I know. She's probably traumatized. I know that, but she's been here for weeks, right? I'm pretty sure that's a fresh pedicure on her feet. You're basing all of this on nail polish? Yeah. Did you get a good look? Yeah. I know. I think so. Maybe she got a gel pedi before she got kidnapped. How do you know it? It doesn't matter, I just... I think, I think maybe we should tie her up. Tie her up? Are you listening to yourself? She's been tortured. No, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. Are you guys robbers? Sorry, Vivian, we... Who told you we were robbers? Your leader. He wasn't very good. Connor. I think it's my fault. I think I took a wrong turn. I don't know. Do you know where he is? Maybe. Can you show me? Yeah. Blair, be careful. - Wait, where's the knife? - Connor. Connor. Blair! Connor! Wait. No. Blair! Wait. Oh fuck. Blair. Blair, what's happening? Ollie. Blair, what's goin' on? Blair. Vivian. What is that? I don't know. - What are you doing? - I'm sorry. I have to. No, don't do that. I see it. Don't, don't do that. Quick. Blair. Hold on. Hold on, okay. Ollie, get us outta here! Please hurry! What's happening? What's going on? Ollie, Blair! Connor! Connor! Connor! Connor! Yeah, it's me. Are you okay? I'm okay. I'm with Vivian and I'm... We got separated from Ollie. He's in the room next door. It's him. He's doing it on purpose. Where's Riley? He's dead. Okay, listen. He needs help. Tell Ollie I don't wanna be the leader anymore. He can be the leader, okay, 'cause I just... I don't, wait... I think somebody's in here with me. Hello? What's happening? Blair, what's happening? What's going on? Somebody's in here, Blair. Oh, God, Connor. It's not a ghost, okay. You have to run. Why would I think it's a ghost, Blair? Come on! Whoa! Blair! No, Blair, no! Connor! Don't you touch him, you motherfucker! Connor! Connor! What the hell is that? Blair, the cops. Blair, the cops are here. We... The phone call went through, hon. We have to warn 'em. Can you get the door open? Blair, I have an idea. Okay? We have to stay away from the wall, all right? Okay, here we go. Ready? Oh shit. Come on, come on, come on. It's not working. I have an idea. Okay, hurry. He's talking to the sheriff. I sure do appreciate you letting me take a look around, Mr. Tucker. Please. Call me Jack. Ain't no problem at all, Sheriff. Anything I can do to help. It's working. Come on. Are you all right, hon? Did he hurt you? I'm sorry, look... The sheriff's upstairs, all right. We have to warn him. I need you to help me open the door. Can you do that? Okay. I'm gonna hook this out through the door. Okay. Then you turn it on, all right. Catch you a cup of coffee, Sheriff? Homemade iced tea? No, thank you. I'm sorry. How long did you say you lived here? I didn't. Well, how long? Long time. And not a lot of decorations in this nice house. No, never had that for that kind of thing. Is that right? Well, my wife Betty, she... She took care of all that stuff before she passed on. Nothing quite like a woman's touch, huh. My wife died just last year. Well, my condolences, Sheriff. Suppose it'll get better with time. I mean, that's what they deal ya. That's what they tell ya. Yep. Well... Sorry to take your time, Jack. You have a good day. We're almost there. Wait. Oh shit. No, forget it. Let's go, let's go! Come on. Look, baby, we're so close. You can do this. Let's go. I can't. Vivian, how long have you been down here? Weeks. Once, I don't know. This is your chance to get out. We have to go. I cant. Fuck it. Leave her. You can't leave her. Beautiful land you got out here. Thank you kindly. I guess it was just kids playing around with the phone. Take care. Sorry you had to drive all this way, Sheriff. Don't go! Wait, wait! What the hell? Stay where you are! Wait, we're trapped in the house. Stay where you are. The pair of dead bodies inside. Our friends, okay. Blair. I'm sorry, she does that when she's scared. Everybody down on the ground now! Do it. Officer, you're not listening to me. This man is a murderer, okay. He killed both of our friends. That's a lie. Just do what I say, and we'll sort this out. Sheriff. I couldn't say anything before, but, they've been holding me hostage, and they're robbing' my house. That's a fuckin' lie. Don't believe him. Everybody shut up! You will talk only when I say so. Is that clear? Officer, you gotta listen to me. Shut up. Take these, cuff yourselves to that post right over there. What about him? He said shut up. You shut up. No, you shut up. Everybody shut up! Let me take care of him, all right? Just do what I say. Look officer, you're making a mistake, okay. You need to cuff that man up right now. All right, let me see the cuffs. Give 'em a tug. Dispatch, I got a situation over here. The jammer. Angie come back. Officer, you can't get a call out, because this man, he has a jammer inside. Look, we, we turned it off, but he must have turned it back on. Be quiet. What's a jammer? I don't even have a phone. Son of a bitch. All right. Now he said that the two of you we're trying to rob him. Is that true? - No. - Yes. Officer, yes, it's true. We broke into his house to rob him, okay, but, he's been keeping us against our will, underground in a torture den. An underground torture den? There's a secret door. If you look inside... Secret door? In the basement, a secret... Let me get this straight. The two of you were trying to rob the house of some kind of serial killer? This man? - Yes! - Yes! Do I look like Sheriff dumb dumb to you? - Yes. - No. Oh no you didn't. Listen, it doesn't matter. Arrest all of us, okay. Just take us with you. Just get us out of here. Help me! Don't trust her! No, wait. They're with me. They saved me. It's him. He's been keeping me prisoner for weeks. You. Get your face on the ground right now. He's a psychopath. He did things to me. I told you she's innocent. My God, are you all right? C'mere, it's gonna be okay. Just take me away. Oh God. C'mere. Angie. Angie, I need backup right now. It's over, I can't believe it's over. Ow. Pick the lock. Why? Those videos that we saw, who was holding the camera? There was someone else in the room. Angie, I need back up right now. You copy? Angie? Run! Oh shit. Other way, other way. Go, go go go. Go. Are you okay? Are you with me? No, no no. I'm okay. Oh shit. Shit. Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back. Bye. I fucking told you she was evil. Blair, we um, we need to barricade the doors. All right? We need to barricade the doors, we need to buy some time. All right? We gotta keep moving. Look, they're calculated killers, okay. Blair, look, if someone comes looking for the sheriff... They're gonna wanna make sure there aren't any signs that anything happened. Okay? So, that means that, they're gonna have to hide his body, or hide his patrol car, and hide our van. Okay, so there's some time. There's a little bit of time. Okay? Look, that wasn't our last chance. There's uh, there's gotta be another way out. We could've missed something. All right? Look, here's the plan. We're gonna... Um, start a fire in the kitchen, and it'll distract them. Then we'll run. There is no plan. What are you gonna do with that? I don't know. I shouldn't have borrowed that money. No, Blair, this is not your fault. Okay? It's not. All right. Two kids come back from Christmas break. The first kid says to the second kid, I had the best Christmas ever. Got a new XBOX with every single game for it, a new bicycle, season tickets to my favorite basketball team. What did you get? Second kid says, I only got a sweater. First kid says, why. Second kid says... It's because I don't have cancer, Jimmy. I know you're scared. No, it's... Actually kind of funny. I'm pregnant. What? Oh my God. I'm not. I... I just wanted to know what it would feel like to say that. That's why I wanted to retire. Sorry. No, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Blair. Look, I shouldn't a... I shouldn't have pushed us to do all those jobs. I shouldn't have gone back into that fucking house. I should have put you first. Hello friends! Are we having fun yet? Listen, this is what's gonna happen, all right. They're gonna come in, I'm gonna lure them away, you find a safe place to hide until somebody gets here. I'm not leaving you. No, they're gonna come for the sheriff, so you gotta stay alive until then. We have to stay together. Please. Please. You have to swear to me that you'll run and hide, okay? Swear to me. It's the only way, Blair. Blair, come on, you know it's the only way. Okay. Okay. I love you, okay. Get ready to run and hide. Oh Jesus! Get back. Oh my God, Connor. Ow. Sorry. Come on, hurry. Go downstairs, go downstairs. Hurry. Why are we going downstairs? I need to show you something. We got you, we got you. Let's go, let's go. How did you? I heard the buzz, then I played dead. Played dead? Of course you did. Oh wait. Connor, I... Riley. I'm so sorry. Thought I'd say goodbye. Hey. I'm sorry, man. You were the best crew I've ever had. Listen... If I get out of here, I swear to you, I swear to you, I'm gonna buy your girl those boobs. I love you, bro. Oh, Connor. No! It's all right, it's all right, it's all right. It's all right. I should have told you I tried that. All right, come on man. We gotta move, we gotta move. What are we gonna do? We gonna hide and wait it out? You gotta see this. Look at this. This is how they're separating us. You can control the doors from here. Watch. There they are. Yeah. They don't even care we're down here. Yeah, but they don't know that we know about this room. Not yet. Now look, I've... I've been monitoring surveillance, okay, and I think I found a way out. Where? Okay, look at this. Look at this. You see that room right there? Those are, those are drainage ducts right there. Now, it's a tight squeeze, but I checked it out, and I think you guys can fit through it. What do you mean you guys? Look, I can hide. I'll stay here. I'm gonna slow you down. Connor. Look, it's the only way to do this, Blair. Okay. You guys, you guys go out, phone for help and then, I'll hide down here and- - We're not leaving you again. I would leave me. No, we're staying. How many people have they killed? If we leave, they get away, and they'll kill again. We can't live with that. We should have done what Connor was saying all along. Play dead. Go on offence. Go on offence. Blair, I know what you're thinking, but I am putting you first. If we don't stop them, we'll never be safe. No, I know. We have to do the right thing. Hey guys. Look. I know you don't have any reason to trust me right now, but, I think I have a plan. We should pull a heist on them. Shit. What happened? Tripped. Oh, go go go. Blair. Okay. Shit. First door. Connor. Open the door. I don't know. Don't just stand there. C'mon. Open the door. Wrong door. Wrong door, Connor. C'mon. I'm trying. Hurry. Second door. Go on, second door. Shit. Connor! Fuck you both. Oh shit. Ollie. Oh good. You're with me. Connor, close the doors. Damn it. Shit. Oh. Shit. Connor, open the door. Oh, I got him. Blair, I got 'im. Shit, okay, wait, I don't got 'im. Splish splash. Oh shit. Thanks. Hey. Are you okay? What were you gonna do with that? Are you okay? I think I broke a rib. Oh God. Ow, ow ow. Blair. I'm sorry. I thought that would help. Ollie, Blair. Connor, we're in here. Hey. Hey. Are you guys okay? Holy shit. It worked. Yeah. Good plan. Okay, I thought we'd all be dead by now. Yeah, we're not, so... Where's Vivian? I don't know. She was... Ollie! Did you get her? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Holy shit! Okay, can we leave now? Please. Go. Let's go. Wait. Are we sure he's dead? Yeah. He looks dead. He's dead. But are we 100 percent sure? We've said it a thousand times. In our line of work, we have to be sure. Blair, what are you saying? I think we have to stab him in the heart. Or, cut off his head, or... Crush the skull. Okay. Ah... Blair, I'm like 99 percent sure he's dead. Just get it over with. Just... Whack his head as hard as you can. Get a good grip. Shit. Blair, you scared the shit out of me. Ollie! Oh fuck. Crush the skull! See, it's okay. Everything's gonna be just fine. What's your name? Macy. No it's not. It's Vivian. Your name is Vivian Dorp. Will you get us a drink, pet? Circulate, all right. Enjoy yourselves. All right, Craig, get me a drink. Oh, easy! Excuse me. ~ Right, I'm just going to say a few words. ~ Really? All right, everyone. Gather round. Scottie's going to say a few words. ~ Turn it off! ~ Can we have you on the dance floor, please? Where is he? Peter? ~ Peter? ~ Come on. Little Peter Magath, where is he? ~ Ah, there he is! ~ Go on, Peter! Now, little Peter may not have been the smartest kid in the village, but he was the slowest. I've got short legs. We used to think, Michael and me, that Peter had been dropped on his head as a kid. ~ I had. ~ We felt sorry for him. We worried about your future, Peter. How's little Pete going to manage? We didn't know you'd end up one of the richest sods in Newcastle! ~ Did we, Michael? ~ No idea at all, Scottie. Should've paid more attention, then, shouldn't they? ~ Oh, they're only joking. ~ Hm. Hilarious(! ) Now, when Peter came to me and said, "I'm going to make my fortune laying pipe," I thought he wanted to be a gigolo! ~ What's a gigolo, Scott? ~ Ask Michael. ~ Gigolo, that's right! ~ Michael thought tonight was fancy dress, so he's come as a Danish porn star. ~ Have you finished? The pies have come. ~ Not yet. Our mate Michael, the best-dressed Bolshevik in Newcastle. We're all grateful to him for standing up for our right not to have our rubbish collected. It used to be I was talking rubbish, or he was talking rubbish, now the whole of Newcastle's talking rubbish ~ because we can't get it collected. ~ Hear, hear! ~ Scott. ~ Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, seriously. I love Peter Magath. Just like I love Michael. Lifelong friends. I love that Peter's an original. I love that he had a vision of what he could be and he pursued it, even when we laughed. I love that he has faith in others. Maybe even in me. God knows the world needs people like that. ~ Peter! ~ Peter! Right, music! Yeeha! Yeeha! Yeeha! Come on! Whoo! Yeeha! '180 council dustmen have gone on strike 'for a higher basic rate of pay. 'Fears that the mouldering rubbish might become a health hazard 'mounted following reports of rat sightings. 'The markets disgorge their daily collection of garbage 'onto the growing mess. 'But the dustmen were adamant, they wanted their basic wage upped from '£15.9 shillings a week to £20. 'The dustcarts stayed in the depot. 'The general opinion was that the whole business stank.' He's got wooden splinters in his head. Body was discovered just after 7:00, sir. The sergeant reckons he was a jumper. ~ Really? ~ There's been a few of them lately. They've pulled two out of the Tyne already this month, sir. If he was aiming for the river, he was a bad shot. Debt. Unemployment. Is this where they found him? He hasn't been moved? No, sir. There's no blood around him. He was dead when he hit. ~ Have we got a name? ~ We've got his wallet, but there's no ID. There's no money in it either. So, robbery, maybe? We've got this. It's a receipt for a pawnbroker, a couple of betting slips from the dog track and a note that says, "Gwendolen Howard, 5:00 Wednesdays." Who's she? Gwendolen Howard? Sir? Sir, we're a bit shorthanded with the bin strike. I need to release men to other duties if we don't absolutely need the scene sealed. It's a crime scene, Sergeant. No, no, no. You heard him. Seal it. ~ Sorry. ~ Dawson pawnbroker. A chance to get yourself a decent suit, John. She died of leukaemia. Left me her watch. ~ I'll be with you in a tick, gents. ~ Thank you. What was your gran's name, son? Er... I just called her Grannie. I would've called her Glamorous Grannie. This is a Rolex. Look, I-I just need the money. I'm sorry, son. Mr Dawson has very strict rules about these things. I'm not sure that this really belonged to your gran, may she rest in peace. ~ What are you trying to accuse us of, like? ~ Being stupid. ~ How are you today? ~ Champion. I'm sorry about the smell. The working stiff normally has all my sympathy, but this set of work-shy bastards, I could crucify. I've got rats. We'd like to speak to Mr Dawson, please. He's not in at the moment. Perhaps I can help you? Are you buying or selling? Ah. There is no Mr Dawson. It's just a name I can blame when I have to say no. People can get, erm... What's the technical word? Arsey. Anyway, how can I help you? Can you tell us who you issued this to, please? I can try. Here we are. 6733. He gave the name of, T Dan Smith. T Dan Smith. A-ha. That's what it says here. So, T Dan Smith, until recently, leader of the council, has fallen on hard times? Well, probably not. Some people aren't comfortable about using their real names, you know. And not just the thieves. There's a lot of shame in falling on hard times. Sad. Yeah, I can see the tracks of your tears. Aren't you supposed to take their identities? I'll tell Mr Dawson. I can do a full audit of this place, sir. Maybe get it shut down, you know. Hey, and I thought we were getting along. What was pawned? Four weeks ago. And all on the one ticket. ~ All this? ~ Aye. He said he'd be back for all of it. Mind, they all say that, like, but I believed him. And all this is definitely his? No question in my mind. Well, if he's half-inched anything, I'll be back to see you. Now I'm torn, aren't I? I mean, I don't want stolen goods on me hands, but if it's a chance of meeting you again, Sergeant... Your T Dan, what's he look like? Ooh... 40ish. Short dark hair. A bit taller than you. Beautiful skin, soft blue eyes. How much did you give him for this lot? £42.10. It's a hard life, isn't it? ~ There you are. ~ Thanks, John. There's no missing person's report matching the dead man's description. The pathologist hasn't got anything yet and won't have until tomorrow. And we've got no Gwendolen Howard on any of our files. Making progress, then(! ) Don't shoot the messenger, Inspector Bacchus. She never irritate you? No. Our man's not a thief, John. That pawnshop bloke could have sniffed out a thief out a mile away. We watched him do it. He's pawning the family silver. This is a man with a wife, who's got rings and necklaces. At least, she did have. So, where is she? What's she waiting for? ~ It's dead. ~ 'Right. How do you know that? ' Because there's no dial tone, that's how I know. 'We've noted that you've been cut off.' Well, why've we been cut off? ! 'Anita Magath.' Anita, Jo. Is my husband there? Tommy Cary? Aye. I've got me licence, just not on us. You're all right. We want to know if you know who this belongs to. Aye, I know him. He put a pony on the third race. Doesn't happen very often. He chases his bets. Makes us uneasy. It's like watching them jumping off a cliff. Is he? Jumping off a cliff. When you take the money, you try not to think about the look in their eyes, but, aye, there's some you feel sorry for. ~ Was he one of them? ~ Jimmy? What, is it an addiction? Most people bet for a laugh, but some can't stop laughing till they've emptied their pay packet. And that's when the crying starts. Bills to pay, bairns going hungry at home, angry wives. It certainly keeps those guys busy in that window, I can tell you. Who are they, loan sharks? I'm not really in a position to judge. Did our man use them? I don't know. I suppose. Always managed to find a bit of money from somewhere. Do you know his name? Aye. Said his name was... T Dan Smith? No. Richard. Richard Grainger. But when you find him, tell him there's £2.10 to come back on that. ~ He won't be collecting it. ~ Off the cliff? Something like that, yeah. ~ It's all part of the job, pet lamb. ~ It isn't, actually. ~ I had to do it. ~ Oh, please don't tell me this is character-building because you're living proof that it's not. I could have you disciplined for that. ~ Go on, then. ~ Lovers' tiff? Right, guv, there's three Richard Graingers in the Newcastle area. One is four years old, one's 78 and the other one is alive and well and works at The Ministry in Longbenton. So, the dead man's not from the area, then? Do I amuse you? What, is this that T Dan Smith blokey again? He's called Richard Grainger now, is he? Are there any chocolate biscuits, pet? What? What's funny? Grainger Street, Grainger Town, Grainger Market. ~ Yeah? ~ Richard Grainger. He pretty much built Newcastle about 100 years ago. I knew that. Local knowledge, John. Can't beat it, eh? The dead man's obviously got a sense of humour. He was interested in how the city was built and then he names himself after two different blokes who are known as Mr Newcastle. I'll just go and, er... chase up those choccy biscuits for you, eh? ~ Still irritating you, then? ~ Teeny bit, yeah. ~ (Lab report, sir.) ~ What? He's lost his voice, sir. He's got a cold, or flu, or summat. ~ (Chest infection.) ~ Thanks. Just be happy. Three skull fractures. Injuries to the legs and upper body. Injuries are consistent with a heavy blunt force. Could have been caused by a fall. Blah-blah-blah. Multiple bruises and lacerations. Victim was beaten. Wooden splinters found in the skin and on the body. ~ Well, we saw them. ~ Good examiners(! ) Blood/alcohol level, 293. Surprised he could stand up. In no condition to defend himself, was he? So, who is our Mr Newcastle? Well, let her in, Peter. ~ Anything? ~ Have you spoken to Michael? ~ Michael's not answering his phone. ~ What happened to your face? Have you called the RVI? What was Scottie doing exactly the last time you saw him? Getting a taxi, I think. We were all stotious. Jo, maybe you should go back home and wait for him to turn up there. ~ (What? ) ~ Jo, if you think Scottie's done something stupid, you should be calling the police, not standing here staring at me after 36 hours. Something stupid? Like what? My phone's still not working. Can I use yours? Police, please. This way, please. Sir? ~ Which one's the wife? ~ Er... it's the woman in the cream coat. Who's the other two? The bloke is Peter Magath, the dead man's best mate, and that's his wife, Anita. Aye, look. Have you seen the state of his face? They don't seem especially close, do they? She called in saying that she was worried about her missing husband and feared for his mental state. Her description of her husband matches our man exactly. I'll take them down. No, no. Rachel, you take her down. Sit with her. Watch her face and remember everything that she says. Afterwards, assuming it is her husband, bring her back here and if she wants to talk, let her talk, but don't tell her anything. And afterwards, you bring her back here and I'll come and find you. ~ Um... ~ What? Do you not think she has the right to know her husband was murdered? No. No-one has a right to know anything till I know who killed Mr Newcastle. We work for the dead, not the living. Off you go. Are you sure she can manage it? She's never done it before. Only one way to learn. Are you ready? Is this your husband, Mrs Parker? I-I-I mean, yes. It's Scott all right, but... just the shell of what he was. What he used to be. (I'm sorry, Scottie.) ~ All right. ~ Where did you find him? I, er... I don't have any details. How did... he do it? Do what? Kill himself. I'm afraid I don't know anything about his death. Don't know much for a copper, do you? Are you the tea lady? When did you last see Scott? Night before last. Me birthday party. Happy birthday. ~ Thanks. ~ Was it? ~ What? ~ Happy birthday. Well, I was 40. Who wants to be 40? I wouldn't mind. Were you there, Mrs Magath? 'Course. We were all there. Us, Jo, Scottie, Michael. Michael? ~ Michael Woodruff. ~ Who's he? Michael and me were Scottie's best friends. Since we were kids. Where can we find him? Organising the bin strike. Oh, that Michael Woodruff. ~ Good news for rats. ~ Hm! Do you think we could take Jo home, assuming she's identified the body? Although it might not be him. No, it is him. You seem to be... ~ What? ~ Are you suspicious, or something? No. Though I wouldn't mind finding out who took a lump out of your face. Oh, this. Oh, it's er... hijinks at the party. Michael started smashing chairs over our heads. Why was that? Pissed. Wanted to see if they'd break. You know, like, in the pictures. Like Lee Marvin hitting John Wayne. Did they? Yeah. These are wooden, wooden chairs? Aye. Wooden chairs. Tell me more about this party. ~ Oh! ~ It was at our restaurant, Pete's. Oh, the American one? Ah, right, I've heard that's good. ~ Do you own that? ~ Aye. No, we both own it. In love I am lucky, you know? - My love brings "bonheur". - What's she saying? - Look in the guide book. - Me, have a look? - Explain, guide book. - I don't read. - I don't understand. - Like this. Hey, dites-moi! Hey, he likes me! See? Voilà! I told you this would be an adventure! Martel! Let those three out. Here, you three can go. Allez! Let him go! You "reviendras"? You will come back and see me? Leave them in peace! - But, Officer... - Sit down and leave them in peace! - Evening. - Bonsoir. Next time, vous ne sortez pas sans passeport! - Sorry? - Don't go out without passport! - Ah yes, passport... - Mon amour! - Go and call a taxi, I'll wait for you here. - Yes, bonsoir! - Excuse me, the Hotel de Bon Commerce? - Hotel du Bon Commerce? - You know it? - Yes, Boss. Via des Beaux Arts, near the Place des Abbesses. - Ah yes, Abbesses Place. - If you could write... Shouldn't we call a doctor? You should start by not fighting all the time. She's got indigestion, that's all! - Where have you been? - With Gremier. I wanted to come back sooner, but the car broke down. That'll teach you to go out with the first people you meet on the street. They're not the first people I met on the street, they're... - I'll get some lemonade for you! - No, I don't want it! Don't be silly, Mimì. Drink some, it'll do you good. - Here's a wet handkerchief, is that better? - Yes. I'm sorry if I made you mad, it's all my fault. - Does your tummy hurt? - A bit. - Does it really, really hurt? - And if I give you a little kiss, will it still hurt? - I don't know. Shall we try, then? Kids, come on, cut it out! Here's your lemonade. - No, I don't want it! - Come on. - You don't want it? - Don't be silly now. - No! - Bonsoir, Monsieur! Excuse me... - C'est complet! - Ah, no... - C'est complet. Does a Mr. Raffaele D'Amore live here? He has a moustache. Oui, il demeure ici, mais il n'est pas rentré. - He's come in? Now? - No, il n'est pas encore rentré. - Ah, he's not back yet. - No. - Where can I wait for him? - Encore dehors, pas rentré. Can I wait? I am a friend of his, Italian, I came... Ah! Je suis au courant, il m'en a parlé. Un ami qui arrive d'ltalie? Vous voulez peut-être I'attendre dans sa chambre? Vous voulez peut-être I'attendre dans sa chambre? - Oui. Excusez-moi, je vous donne la clé. C'est le numéro 1, au premier étage. - La première porte. - Number one? - Oui. Un, c'est ça. - Merci. - De rien. - Attention, I'escalier est ciré! - Oui, oui, merci. - This is Rue de l'Eglise. What number? - I don't know. Christine... Christine! Guys, are we sleeping here tonight? Hold on, she's sleeping! Christine! Christine! - What's going on? - We're here. - Where? - I don't know. - Ah, yes. - Are you paying? - Oh, yes. No, the last Metro has already left. Please wait. - Where are you going? - Hotel Lutétia. - Hotel Lutétia, yes. - Au revoir, Franco. - No, let me walk you home. But I'm here! - Wait a moment, please. - I'll just turn the car around. - I wasn't a bad tour guide, was I? - Ah, yes. - What? You didn't like seeing Paris with me? - Ah, yes! Of course, I really liked it! - Christine... - What? I... I love you. - Christine... - No! Goodbye, Franco. Ah, yes... Wait! I get off! - You're not going to the Hotel Lutétia? - No, I'll walk. - As you wish. - How much? 450 francs. - No, keep it. Good evening. - Thank you. Say, Sir... I think your walk might be on the long side. - On the long side? - Yes, it's quite far. - Come on, get in. Tonight you get to ride for free. - Ah, thanks! No, not back there. Up front, next to me! Thanks a lot! - Who is it? - Me, Andrea. - Hold on. Listen, Andrea... It would be better if you went to sleep in Mimì's room, she's not feeling well. What's all this about? You gave me permission... - No, no... - Now you send me to sleep alone? She really doesn't feel well. I've made your bed in there. - What happened? No, because... - She's just fallen asleep. But, I didn't do anything... Not even a fountain... It doesn't matter now. Tell me everything tomorrow. - If she needs... - Don't wake her up, here's the key. - Do you know him? - Me? No. - He went like this. - No. - Is that the truth? - Yes, bye. - Where have you been? - I'll tell you everything tomorrow. No, I wanted to tell you that... nothing. - Tell me tomorrow. - There's nothing to tell! - Nothing? - 20 kilometers... - Not even a fountain? - Not even a drop of water. - Bye, goodnight! - Bye! Just one kiss? Bye! - Nicolino! - Yeah? - Come here. - Nicolino, look at this! - "Femme de chambre". - Translate it. - It means maid, doesn't it? Are you sure? - Totò, what if she's a dog? - A maid in Paris, a dog? - Bonsoir. - Bonsoir. - Monsieur désire quelque chose? - No, merci beaucoup! Rien! - Monsieur désire quelque chose? - No, merci! - Excuse us. - Just a moment. Excuse me, please. Mimì, come on! Excuse me, please. Thank you. - And then? - Then, she asked me to go back to Argentina with her. - Hear that? - Yeah, but I... - Excuse me! - Paris is always Paris, isn't it? - Morning, Miss Mimì! - Morning, Miss! - Good morning. - Well, I mean... - You always make me worry. - What if you missed the train? - We went to get newspapers. Christine! - Excuse me, Miss! - Watch it! Excuse me, please! Excuse me! Excuse me, thanks! - Franco! - Christine! Your map! I'm so glad I caught you! Look at those two. Monsieur, attendez la partence! - Pourquoi? - See those two? They're... - Ah, Monsieur, c'est I'heure! - They're kissing! - Goodbye, Franco! - Au revoir! - Franco! Franco, your map! - Merci beaucoup! Goodbye, Christine! Je t'aime! Je t'aime, Christine! - Au revoir! - Christine, je t'écris! - Au revoir, Christine! - Au revoir! Au revoir! Au revoir! Dancing Girl Writers: Yasunari Kawabata (novel) Kaneto Shindô (writer) Sô Yamamura ... Motoo Yagi Mieko Takamine... Namiko Yagi Mariko Okada... Shinako Yagi Akihiko Katayama... Takao Yagi Hiroshi Nihon'yanagi... Takehara Bontarô Miyake... Numata Isao Kimura... Nozu Reiko Otani... Tomoko Heihachiro Okawa... Koyama Sadako Sawamura... Mitsue Produced by Hideo Koi Original Music by Ichirô Saitô Cinematography by Asakazu Nakai Production Design by Satoshi Chuko Director Mikio Naruse Satake Ballet Company Performance les Sylphides The Swan of Toulenera Imperial Theatre Is there something wrong? No. What's wrong? I'm afraid. Afraid of what? Afraid of being found out. By whom? By Yagi. By Takao. You surprise me. Isn't your husband in Kyoto? But Takao might be watching for us. That kid is his father's son. He doesn't like ballet. He wouldn't be at the theatre. So everything is just fine with you? I don't think that we're doing anything that should make us afraid of people. I thought that someone was watching us the whole time. It sounds like you're getting hysterical. Maybe. I shouldn't be seeing you. This place has changed a lot, too, hasn't it? During the war, Takao and Shinako used to come here to get grass and dirt. When they came home, Yagi used to clean them off. Yagi was like that back then. Let's not talk about Yagi. Shall we go to Ginza to get something to eat? I said I'd meet Shinako at 6:00. She's coming back from her performance in Sendai. Wouldn't it be alright if I came along to meet Shinako? I'll see you some other time. It's difficult for me to be with you today. Come in! Is my mother here? Yes, she's waiting upstairs. Mother? Welcome back. Sorry I'm late. How did it go? It went over really well. Ballet is really something out in the country. Did you dance well? Yes, but I wanted you to see it. Waiter Are you ready for your meal? Yes, we are. Is Father back yet? Not yet. I heard something unpleasant about father. What was it? During the war he put out an obscure book called The Literature of the Yoshino Court. Who told you that? NMzu-san. Your NMzu-san? Yes. But even if he put out a book like that, they treat him as if he was a collaborator. Let's not talk about your father. Ah, you came together! When did Shinako get here? She got back today. Oh, she must be tired. Ballet is popular these days. They must really like it when they see it for the first time. But have you made up your mind, Mrs.? It's going to be the studio that you use, so shall we take out those briars and put up a prefab building? That would be too much for us. Leave it all to me. I'll make a two story concrete building and put in some big windows. If we're going to put something up, we'll build it ourselves. Be serious! By the way Miss, did you know that Kayama-san is driving a bus in Ito in Izu? Kayama-sensei's doing that? Kayama-san was your teacher, right? He went from a famous dancer to a bus driver pretty quickly! We're eating. Would you mind waiting downstairs? Sorry. I'll talk to you later. Do you think what he said about Kayama-sensei is true? Considering the source, I don't know how much stock you should put in the story. Takao. What is it? I haven't seen you in quite a while. May I? There's a seat over there. That's - I see. Your mother is on the second floor. Did you know that? Wouldn't it be better to stay away from people like Numata? He's someone whom I've known since I was a student. He's helped me out, you know. Mother! Don't hang around with Numata. He's so irritating! He's trying to stir things up in the family. That's not something you should say out loud. He has the hots for you. Takao! Father is coming home tomorrow. He sent me a letter. Takao. Let's go home together. I have a friend waiting downstairs. Welcome back Father! Well, hello there. I didn't think I'd meet you here. But I came to greet you. How did you know I was going to be here? Well, you said in the letter that you'd be coming back on the train with someone from the museum, so I thought you'd be here. That's pretty smart. I have some business to attend to. It won't take long. Would you like to come along? We could get something to eat. Wouldn't I be in the way? No. I'm going to meet someone from a textbook publisher. They want to use something I wrote for a Japanese textbook. Keep your elbow up, but keep this shoulder down. Father, Numata is really annoying. Why? Because he hangs around mother. Because he's her manager. If he says something he shouldn't to mother or Shinako, I'm going to challenge him to a duel. A duel? That's pretty extreme. The ruins of our family's old house are overgrown with weeds. Mother and Shinako are thinking of putting a dance studio here, right? Yeah, but not if they don't have the money. By the way, when I was in Kyoto, I saw a camera magazine with Shinako's portrait in it. Takehara probably took that picture. Takehara sees Mother a lot? I don't know. Come in! Hello. Hello. What do you think? Will you let us use it? It's a little embarrassing. It'll get you a lot in return if you do let me use it. My mother says that she can't make it today. I think you were supposed to go the Kabuki with her. Has something come up? My father came back. I see. Welcome. It's been a while. How are you? Same as ever. Takao, I haven't seen you in ages. Is your mother well? Yes. You should come to Kamakura. The beach is really popular. I'd like to get there this summer. Excuse me. Someone from the Kokuminsha is here. Send him in, please. Will you be going in the bath later? I will, but after we're done talking. Make yourself at home. Mother was a friend of hers wasn't she? Yes, I think they were very close. Excuse me for barging in on you so soon after a long trip. That's no problem. I touched this up on the train back from Kyoto. You may not find it suitable for a textbook, but here you go. When can I get paid? Soon. Scholars don't live on air, you know. We'll get it to you as soon as we can. Come to think of it, would you send it to my school? Huh? Oh, I understand. You have to put more expression into it. Ah, they're dancing. Yes, I'll go tell her you're home. Like this, see. Mother! Father's here! Oh? Shinako, go say hello to your father. Namiko, are you asleep? Excuse me. That kimono looks really good on you, Mother. Is that right? I'll tell you about clothes. Before the war, lacquer and colourful prints sold really well. That's right. Those are luxury goods. If a woman wore a luxurious kimono during the war, a woman exposed her asarakasa. It would have been the picture of vulgarity. Father, you have a morning lecture, don't you? Yes, but go on ahead. I see. Mother, it's 8:00. We have a rehearsal in Tokyo today. We know about your rehearsal. Go right ahead. Mother. You met Takehara, didn't you? Yes, I did. Is he doing well? Yes, he is. You seem to be meeting him often. Is there something going on? I had to talk to him about selling the "Hana." You have to talk with him about that? He used to rent it out. That's kind of a strange way to do things. Why do you have to ask him for permission? I'm not. Ah, so you're not finished with him. Is that what it is? I have to go. Mother, it's funny but don't you think that there was more peace in the house during the war. Yes, I think so. Back then, everyone got along, and it wasn't like it is now with everyone going their separate ways. Perhaps it's my fault. We didn't worry about unnecessary things back then. That's true. It was because our freedom was taken away from us. If it hadn't been for the war, you would be in England or France dancing at a ballet school. Yes, that's right. And I might have gone with you. The war delayed my studies. If it hadn't been for the war, even if I had kept studying with you, I might be teaching my own children now. That's not true. I'm not going to have a child until there's peace in the world. You just confuse me when you make declarations like that out of the blue. OK, I take it back. I'll put it this way: Until the world becomes a peaceful place, I'll be dancing alone, waiting all by myself. How's that? Sounds like something out of a religion called "dance". Good morning. Thank you. You're early. Yes, yes. Just a moment. Tomoko-san, the phone is for you. OK. Excuse me. Hello, hello, this is Tomoko. Yes. Yes. Alright. I'm sorry, but may I go out for a bit. Yes, certainly. Sorry about this. Tomoko. Yes? Things are difficult for you, aren't they. I'm certain about that. I can tell. Yes, there is. I'll tell you later. Pick a good time, but let's talk soon, OK? Yes. Good morning. Nozu Good morning. Hey, the performance in Tengeki looks like it's set. Oh really? Kayama-sensei is there. Oh? He's driving a bus. Why? What happened? He can't dance. He hurt his foot in the war. You know, his right foot. Your feet are your career. What's happened? This was so sudden. He was such a good teacher, but everyone's forgotten about him. I wonder what goes through his mind when he's driving his bus. When my father was a student he lived at my mother's house and they supported him. He was a hard-working and honest scholar back then. He was blessed in many ways. Your mother was dancing ballet then, wasn't she? It's a strange combination. It sure is. Especially since my mother likes someone else. Really? My mother has been seeing someone since she was in her twenties. But she had children with my father - me and my sister. Good morning. Good morning. I'd like you to put another cheque in for me. Certainly. That must put the total around 500,000 yen. I think that would be about right, but I'll check. No, need to do that. Just deposit it for me. I'll do it. When Japan lost the war, it lost its spiritual beauty. Yagi says that Freedom has been haunting Japan for quite some time. Does the curse of that old ghost cause your troubles, too? Yagi is really worried that the jobs and kimono will run out. There isn't much left. I'm even going to sell the "Hana." Namiko, let's make a clean break with the lies of our twenties. How? Leave. Leave and do what? Come live with me. Why didn't you say that twenty years ago? I thought a woman's happiness was in marriage, so I held back. But it's still true that a woman's happiness is in marriage. We've been seeing each other as friends for twenty years. We can't live this lie any longer. For Yagi's sake, for your children's sake, please. Leave him. For twenty years I've lived for my daughter. I wanted her to be a ballerina. That is my great, unfulfilled wish, but it's only been an excuse to live. It didn't make me happy. My wife left me with a child. I want you to be the mother of my child. I don't want to hear that. You don't know what I'm going through now. Stay in your position after your pirouette. I'm home! Welcome back. Good evening, sensei. Good to see you Tomoko. came to see me. She seemed very lonely, so I invited her to come see the ocean. Oh. Did you eat? Yes. Then you should take a bath. Alright, we'll practice more later. Take your positions now. Take a fan. You can hear the waves, can't you? Tomoko, the time I've spent as your teacher will fade into the distant past. Since I was a child, I think I've been too dependent on the love and good will of others. I think I got too dependent on the goodness of your heart. I think that I hurt your chances of being happy and finding someone to marry. No, that's not true. It wasn't a sacrifice. It was I who was dependent on you and Shinako. I didn't do anything. There's something worrying you, isn't there Tomoko? There's something I've been keeping a secret from you two. What is it? Do you have some problem? If there's something bothering you that you can't tell me about, please talk to Shinako about it. I'll leave you two alone. What's going on? I'm drunk. Oh. Mother, Takehara is over there. Just kidding, just kidding. The kid is sick, and a child's life will never come back once it's gone. Child? Whose child? His child. What about his wife? She's not well and can't work. Is that why you have to work as a stripper? I can't understand how he could make you work for his child like that. It's not for him. I want to do it. People are going on and on about "freedom" these days, but I think I should have the freedom to give up my freedom to someone else. Tomoko? Good morning. I was wondering where you were. told me. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything for you. This is for you. Sensei, I can't take that. Ah, I hear Pertolucci. I think Shinako is dancing. It must be because I was talking about some really unpleasant things last night. Sensei, I'm going to dance my last ballet. What an irritating racket for so early in the morning! Is Shinako dancing? Yes, with Tomoko. Did you know that while you're dancing to Pertolucci, this is the anniversary of Nijinsky's death? Yes, he died in a hospital in London last spring. He went crazy and died. You could say that he was a victim of the war. When he started to lose it, he was talking about "Russia" and "War". Well, Nijinsky was a pacifist, a follower of Tolstoy. One day in his hospital in Switzerland he told people he was going to dance a solo performance. He put up a crucifix made out of black and white cloth. He climbed up on it like Christ. He wanted to tell people about war the death, destruction, and emptiness of war. Tomoko went home. Without eating breakfast? She gave this back to you. "Paganini" I haven't seen you in a while. I saw Yagi the other day. I got a letter saying that the place on the hill was sold. I was wondering what was up, so I tailed him. He seems to be pretty worried about you. Ha ha. He was looking for Takehara-san everywhere. You didn't tell him yourself, did you? Of course not! In fact, it was I who suggested to him buy it for your studio. I don't want to build a new studio anymore. In fact, I'm thinking of giving up my studio in Tokyo. Why? I don't think I'm going to continue working, that's why. Mrs., don't make me worry like that. If you're worried, remember that I'm behind you all the way. You mustn't quit like that. I don't think Yagi likes it when I dance. Mrs, you need to do something about Yagi and his dreary ways. Mrs., go it alone! You need time for yourself and to get your enthusiasm back. It's about time you got a divorce. Get a divorce! That would be better. Just do it! You are really rude, aren't you? You're making me angry. It was three days ago. I saw you walking along side him in the Ginza. That was in daylight. If you continue to do things like that, I'll stop talking to you. It's just a joke. Look, I've always wanted you. You know that. Am I bothering you? Well, if I am, there's nothing I can do about it. It's just my rengai for you. You know, Mrs. I'm not trying to get you directly, but I am trying to get you. You are my ultimate goal. I was waiting for you to fall in love with someone, and then when that fell apart, I was going to snap you up. My heart has been broken already, so it doesnt makeanydifferencetome if youvelovedsomeoneelse . Ah, miss, over here. I came with Nozu-san. How do you do. Thanks for taking care of Shinako for me. Don't worry about that. What happened? Mother, Kayama-sensei was here! Kayama-sensei? He just left. What would he be doing here after giving up dancing? Mother, I want to meet him. Don't you think it would be better not to meet him? I just want to see him. You should go to Tokyo Station now. You might be able to catch him. Come with me. But- Please! Go to see him in Ito. He's important for you. Do you have money? Yes, I have some. Good. When you see him, give him my regards. Yes. You're going to get me into trouble What have you been doing these days? It's incredibly hard to be with you, but at the same time, I'm so lonely without you. I'm terrible. It's too late. Too late for what? Why? No, let me go. It's late. Let's go home. I've always considered you very important. I'm in your heart. I still do. Well, good night. What are you doing here? It's a holiday. What's wrong with you? You look sick, you know. I went to see Kayama-sensei. Did you see him? No, he wasn't there. He really was a bus driver. It looks like he got sick and quit about a week ago. And what is he doing now? I don't know. If he's sick, where could he have gone? You look sick too. You should go home and get some rest. I'll take you. I'm not going to go home, I'm going to see my mother. Well, I'll take you there. Pull yourself together. Let's go. No one's here. Woman Come in. Where's my mother? She just stepped out. Is she going home? She did say that she'd be going home, yes. This is a nice studio. It has your mother's mark on it. When did I last see her dance? Hmm... It must have been just as the Pacific War was starting. That's right. When the war got worse, she stopped dancing in public. She was dancing with Kayama-sensei. Your mother's dancing was beautiful! You've danced with Kayama-san, too haven't you. Yes, many times. He took me to many ballet performances. You can't forget Kayama-sensei, can you? No, I can't forget him. That's what I thought. I knew that very well. But he doesn't live in our world. Right? That's not true! Are you saying that when you're dancing with me it's like dancing with Kayama-san? That's crazy. Hey, should I wait for you? Wait? That's... Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned it here and now. I'm not thinking about getting married now. You didn't like the way I said it? No, that's not it. It's just that when I see my mother and father, I feel nervous about marriage. Can't you help your mother? My mother's problems go beyond the problems in our family. I'm my mother's unfulfilled dream. I'll taking care of your dancing. But marriage is frightening to me. I have the feeling that I'll end up like my mother. Oh! Shinako, when did you get here? Hello there, NMzu-san. Did you see Kayama-sensei? No. He got sick and went somewhere. I met Tomoko. Tomoko? How is she? What's she doing? She's stripping in Asakusa. She's strong! She has confidence in the way she lives. She's going straight ahead with what she wants to do. Thats whatshesays. I couldnt sayanythingtoher. Sensei, it's time to eat. Where's Takao? I'll get him. Here you are, dear. It's been a while since all four of us sat down to eat dinner together. You know, the next time there's something to celebrate, I have a plan. I'll get myself some good medicine and I was thinking about getting Takao a charcoal grill for trips to the mountains, and Shinako a steel handrail. What about me? Oh, yes. Looks like I forgot about someone. How about a mirror to go with Shinako's handrail? But maybe you need a handrail, too. You probably don't need a mirror. must have one. Why do you say such things in front of the children? You say they're children, but it's been twenty years since Shinako was born. We four have known each other for a long time. I'd like to think that we'd all take care of each other. If you'd just take care of Mother, everyone would be taking care of each other. I thought you'd say that, Shinako, but there are some things you don't understand. You probably think that Mother has sacrificed for me. But it's not like that. A couple who has been married for a long time usually doesn't make little sacrifices for each other here and there throughout their marriage. Usually they both collapse. Isn't there anything left after she collapses? But when a woman says that she's going to collapse, she usually ends up pushing the man over. That's why I'd like to leave another way out. I don't think Mother has collapsed. Is that right? She must be staggering or having an affair. No, she's not. And if she were, why don't you help her? Mother has been holding up the household all by herself all this time. You've just kicked stuff down on her and looked on, without helping her at all. It's perfectly understandable why she would be straying off the straight and narrow after these twenty years. You don't know the whole story. Since Mother has been living with me, she's been living with Takehara in spirit. Dear, are you so sure about that? That's because you're so cold to her. She has no choice but to look for love somewhere else. Father, there's something I want to ask you. Yes? I've found out that you have a bank account that you keep secret from Mother. You have someone at the university keep the passbook at school. What's all that about? Dear, is what Takao says true? Yes, it is. That's terrible. And we've been selling our kimonos and gnashing our teeth this whole time. I'm all alone here. I'm all by myself. I've put up with you saying things like that all this time, but... But what? What are you going to do? Are you going to tell me you're going to live at Takehara's? If I could have done that, I wouldn't have been trying to be your wife in spirit as well as fact. 'Wife in spirit', eh. Well, up to today we were a married couple. You leave me no choice. The reason I'm here is because Shinako and Takao are here. Up today I've been living for them. You've been possessed by Takehara. If you had married him twenty years ago, you'd be genbetsu. Shinako, Takao I want you to listen. Up to now, you've had things pretty good by selling the things we've had. Mother did what she wanted and did her ballet. Shinako, you danced, too. Takao, you've never had to worry about anything. You say that Mother lived for you. Well, yourethechildren of an extravagant mother. But all this time I have been living a spiritually impoverished life, a miserable life. You three have brought up a miserable father. Don't say that. I can't respect you if you say that. No one respects anyone else here. We're not a family, just four people. You say such mean things, Father. You don't have the slightest idea of how much Mother has tried to love you, do you? Mother, you must hate me because you think I was watching you for Father. But really, all I wanted was for you and Father to get along. What father says is true: everyone in this family lives their own life. The ship is sinking and all of us are just trying to save ourselves. Takao, your father is a pitiful person. I know. Take care of him. Mother... Shinako, take care of your father. You can live even if your parents don't love each other. There you go. Thanks. This looks good on me. You think? I look completely different from yesterday. But don't you think this is hard on Takao and Shinako? I have to think about them later. Why don't you come to rehearsals? The performance is coming up, you know. I think I'm going to quit dancing. Why? This place might close, too. Really? I just came from your place. I found Kayama-sensei. Where is he? He's in Okutama. It looks like he's pretty sick. He might not know who you are. Brother, brother. Sensei. It's me, Shinako. Do you remember who I am? Shinako, dance. Dance! As long as you have legs, dance Ballerinas dance until they die. Can you hear that? It's a festival. A gypsy dance. People with legs should dance. Ballerinas...ballerinas dance. Sensei! Brother! He said that ballerinas should dance until they die. He said that they should dance as long as they have legs. I'm going to dance. I'm not going to let myself be defeated like my mother. After hearing Kayama-sensei, I know what I need to do. It's been a long time. I lived alone with Yagi. I danced alone. I pursued you all by myself. Now, I just want to be alone in the dark. I want to do things on my own. You know, I was thinking that I wanted to see you not as an old friend, but as someone new. I don't like that. If you were to pass me by now, you wouldn't even notice me. Do you think so? I'm going to go to Kansai soon. Will you come with me? We can decide our fates on that trip. Shinako has a performance. I want to see that. After that. That's fine. I'll go see it, too. Father, I brought you some iced tea. Thank you. What's Takao doing? He isn't home yet. Yesterday I said some things I shouldn't have to your mother, didn't I. It wasn't nice of me to say such terrible things. As your mother says, it might be true that your mother's unhappiness is a result of my behaviour. Why didn't you tell Mother that? I didn't think of it. I'm a cowardly, despicable person. For twenty years all I thought about was how to avoid being despised by your mother. And then one day, all of a sudden, a thick barrier had grown around her heart. Forgive Mother. I'm the one that has to be forgiven. What are you going to do, Shinako? Are you going to go live with your Mother? If she's going to live with Takehara, I'll stay with you. I'd feel sorry for you. The people who are really burned in all this are you and Takao. So you've made up your mind? You should leave that house. That would be the thing for you to do. He doesn't deserve to be with you. I don't want you to insult him. Oh my, aren't we complex? Ok, I won't insult him. So are you going to build that studio? I'm not going to see you again. You're terrible! This is really too much. It's late. Please go home. Mrs., listen. waited twenty years. So did I. What are you doing? I'm going to call someone. Mrs.! Let me go. Let me go. Takao! What are you doing hitting me? ! Takao! What? ! Let me go. Mother, Father says he's going to America. to America? He tells me I should go to Hawaii. He says that we should split up and think of each other. We used to think of each other and help each other out. He probably wants to hold on to his memories of that time. Mother, is it possible for a broken home to be mended? Won't you come home, Mother? MizumiBalletCompany Swan Lake Girl Someone named Takehara asked me to give this to you. "I'll be waiting for you at Tokyo station." Mother- Ah, so you came. Yes. I was at Father's place this morning and he said I should go. seems much different when she's on stage. She seems much more grown up. Yes, she does. She's much better than before. Father has a cold. Since when? He's already taken two days off of school. Mother asked me to give this to you. Please forgive her. If she's happy, that's good enough for me. The End translated by: Guy YASKO Can I help you, ma'am? well, they told me to take a streetcar named Desire and then transfer to one called Cemeteries and ride six blocks and get off at EIysian fields. There's your car now. Thank you. When he got home, she was waiting. Boy, you never heard nothing like that. What's the matter, honey? You lost? I'm looking for EIysian fields. This is EIysian fields. What number you looking for? Six forty-two. You don't need to look no further. I'm looking for my sister, stella DuBois. I mean, Mrs. stanley KowaIski. Yeah, that's the party, all right. You just did miss her, though. Yes? -Can this be her home? -She got the downstairs here. I got the up. Oh, she's out? You notice that bowling alley up the street? -I'm not sure I did. -well, that's where she's at, honey. She's watching her husband bowl. BIanche! BIanche, honey! -stella. Oh, stella for star! -blanche! Oh, my darling. Now, Iet me look at you. But don't you look at me, stella. No, no, no! -I won't be looked at in this merciless glare. -Did you find our place? What are you doing in a place like that? Never, never, never in my worst dreams did I picture-- only Poe. only Mr. Edgar allan Poe could do justice to it. What are you doing in that horrible place? Oh, what am I saying? I didn't mean to say that. I meant to be nice and say, "What a convenient location," and such. -You haven't said a word to me. -You haven't given me a chance to. -You dog, open your pretty mouth and talk. -Come say hello to stanley first. -No, not now. Not now. -Just say hello. Oh, which is he? Which one is he? -Is he the one that's-- -The one that's making all the rhubarb. Isn't he wonderfuI-Iooking? stella, I can't meet him now. Not till I've bathed and rested. -would you Iike a cold drink? -Oh, bless you for that lovely inspiration. Oh, my baby, my baby. would you Iike some pop? Honey. Pop? Not with my nerves tonight. Scotch for me, please. Grape. You haven't asked me how I got away from school before the spring term ended. I thought you'd volunteer that information if you wanted to tell me. -You thought I'd been fired? -No. I thought you might have resigned. Oh, I was so exhausted by all I'd been through, my nerves broke. I was on the verge of lunacy, almost. So Mr. Graves-- Mr. Graves is the high school superintendent. Thank you. He suggested I-- I take a leave of absence. I couldn't put all those details into the wire. This buzzes right through me and feels so good. -would you Iike another? -One's my limit. You haven't said a word about my appearance. -You look just fine. -God love you for a liar. daylight never exposed so total a ruin. But you-- You put on some weight. Yes. You're just as plump as a little partridge. It's so becoming to you too. -Oh, BIanche. -Yes, it is, it is. Or I wouldn't say it. You just have to watch around the hips a little. I want you to look at my figure, you know? I haven't put on one ounce in 1 0 years, stella. I weigh now what I weighed the summer you left belle Reve. The summer Dad died and you left us. It's just incredible, BIanche, how well you look. Sure you wouldn't like another? well.... well, maybe I will just take one tiny nip more. Just to put the stopper on, so to speak. Now, don't get worried. Your sister hasn't turned into a drunkard. She's just all shaken up and hot and dirty and tired. Waiter. Waiter. -You want it hot? -ScaIding. -stella. -What is it, hon? There's only two rooms. I don't see where you're gonna put me. We'II put you right here. What kind of a bed's this? One of those collapsible beds? -feel all right? -wonderful, honey. I don't like a bed that gives much. stella, there's no door between the two rooms, and StanIey-- -will it be decent? -Oh, stanley's polish, you know. Oh, yeah. Something like Irish, isn't it? well.... I bought some nice clothes to meet all your lovely friends in. well.... I'm afraid you won't think they're lovely. well, anyway, I bought nice clothes and I'II wear them. I guess you're hoping I'II say I'II put up at a hotel. I'm not going to put up at a hotel. I've got to be near you, stella. I've got to be with people. I can't be alone because.... Because as you must have noticed, I-- I'm not very well. You do seem a little.... will stanley like me or will I just be a visiting in-Iaw? I couldn't stand that, stella. You'II get along fine together. If you just try not to compare him-- -Oh, he was an officer? -He was master sergeant in the Engineers Corps, decorated four times. He had those on when you met him? I assure you I wasn't just blinded by all the brass. -Oh, that's not what I-- -Of course, there-- There were things to adjust myself to later on. Such as his civilian background. How did he take it when you said I was coming? -Oh, he's on the road a good deal. -Oh, he travels? Good. I mean, isn't it? I can hardly stand it when he's away for a night. Oh, stella. When he's away for a week, I nearly go wild. -Gracious. -When he comes back I cry in his lap like a baby. I guess that's what's meant by being in love. stella. I haven't asked you the things you probably thought I was going to ask so I'II expect you to be understanding about what I have to tell you. What, BIanche? You're going to reproach me. I know you're bound to reproach me, but before you do take into consideration you left. I stayed and struggled. You came to New orleans and looked out for yourself. I stayed at belle Reve and tried to hold it together. Oh, I'm not meaning this in any reproachfuI way. -But the burden descended on my shoulders. -Best I couId do was make my own living. But you were the one that abandoned belle Reve, not I. I fought for it, bled for it, almost died for it. Stop this outburst. tell me what happened. -I knew you'd take this attitude about it. -About what? please! The loss. The loss. belle Reve? Lost, is it? Yes, stella. But how did it go? What happened? -You're a fine one to ask me how it went. -blanche. You're a fine one to stand there accusing me of it. -I won't stay in this house. -blanche! -blanche. -I, I, I took the blows on my face and my body. AII of those deaths, the Iong parade to the graveyard. Father, Mother, Margaret, that dreadful way.... You just came home in time for funerals, stella. And funerals are pretty compared to deaths. How do you think all that sickness and dying was paid for? Death is expensive, Miss stella. And I, with my pitiful salary at the school.... Yes, accuse me. Stand there and stare at me, thinking I let the place go. I let the place go? Where were you? -In there with your PoIack. -blanche, be still. That's enough. -stella. stella, you're crying? -Does that surprise you? Mitch, we gonna play at your house tomorrow? No, not at my house. My mother's still sick. -AII right, you bring the beer. -Break it up down there. -I made that spaghetti dish and ate it myself. -Now, honey, I told you and told you we were playing Jack's beer. What's so funny? You never phoned me once. I told you at breakfast. I phoned you at lunch. Why don't you get yourself in here! -Where do you want it, in the newspapers? -I'm sick and tired of chasing you. You must be stanley. I'm blanche. Oh, you're stella's sister. Yes. Oh, hiya. Yeah, where's the little woman? In the bathroom. -well, where you from, BIanche? -Why, I.... I Iive in AurioI. In AurioI. AurioI, huh? Oh, yeah, that's right. AurioI. That's not my territory. Man, liquor goes fast in the hot weather. -You want a shot? -No, I rarely touch it. well, there's some people that rarely touch it, but it touches them often. Mind if I make myself comfortable? My shirt is sticking-- please. please do. "Be comfortable." That's my motto, where I come from. It's mine too. It's hard to stay looking fresh in hot weather. Why, I haven't washed or even powdered and here you are. You know, you gotta be careful. You sitting around in a damp thing, you catch a cold. especially when you been exercising hard, Iike bowling is. -well, you're the teacher, aren't you? -Yes. -What do you teach? -english. well, I never was a very good english student. -How long you here for? -Why, I don't know yet. You gonna shack up here? I thought I would, if it's not inconvenient for you all. Good. traveling wears me out. well, take it easy. What was that? Oh, those cats. Hey, stella. What did you do, fall asleep in there? well, I guess I'm gonna strike you as being the unrefined type, huh? You know, stella spoke a good deal about you. She said you were married once, weren't you? Yes. When I was quite young. Yeah? What happened? -Yeah? What happened? -The boy.... The boy died. I'm afraid I-- I'm going to be sick. Fresh fish! Fresh fish! Fresh fish! -Looks like she's fixing to stay a while. -Yeah. -Hey, Stan, are we playing tonight? -Yeah. well, I figured maybe we-- -Forget about maybe. It's the same. -stanley! -Oh, hi, Steve. -Put it down. -Now I'II go get the other one? -Yes. -Thanks, darling. -stella? -Yes? -Is that stanley back with my trunk? -Yes, BIanche. -Honey... -...will you get my little blue net out for me? -AII right, BIanche. It was so good of stanley to call for my trunk. He was glad to do it. -I'II see you later. -AII right. Listen, don't forget. Honey, I'm taking blanche to GaIatoire's for supper tonight and then to a show because it's your poker night. How about my supper? I'm not going to GaIatoire's tonight. I put you a cold plate on ice. I'm gonna try to keep blanche out until the party breaks up... -...because I don't know how she'II take it. -Isn't that just dandy? So you'd better give me some money. Hey, where is she now? She's soaking in a hot tub to quiet her nerves. She's terribly upset. Over what? She's been through such an ordeal. We lost belle Reve. What, the place in the country? -well, how? -It had to be sacrificed or something. Honey, look. When she comes in, be sure and say something nice about her appearance. And, oh, don't mention the baby. I haven't said anything yet. I'm waiting until she gets in a quieter condition. -Try to understand her and be nice to her. -AII right. She wasn't expecting to find us in such a place. -AII right. -I tried to gloss things over a little in my letters. Admire her dress. tell her she's looking wonderful. It's important to blanche. Her little weakness. Okay, honey, I get the idea, but.... Now, Iet's just skip back a little, the way you said the place was disposed of. Oh, yeah. well, how about a few more details on that subject? Honey, look, it's best not to talk much about it until she's calmed down. Is that gonna be the deal? Sister blanche can't be annoyed with details right now? well, you saw how she was last night. I saw how she was. Now, Iet's cop a gander at the bill of sale. I haven't seen any. What do you mean? She didn't show you papers, deed of sale, nothing like that? Seemed like it wasn't sold. well, now, what was it, then? Giveaway to charity? -She'II hear you. -I don't care if she hears me. -Now, Iet's see the papers. -Honey, there weren't any papers. She didn't show any papers. I don't care about papers. Wait. Now, listen, did you ever hear of the napoleonic Code, stella? -I haven't heard of the napoleonic Code. -AII right. Okay, then. -Let me enlighten you on a point or two. -Yes? Now, we got here in the state of Louisiana what's known as the napoleonic Code. According to which, what belongs to the wife belongs to the husband also and vice versa. will you listen. Take, for instance, I had that piece of property-- My head is swimming. Oh, well, all right, dear. Okay. We'II wait till she's through soaking in the hot tub then I'm gonna inquire if she's acquainted with the napoleonic Code. Oh, stanley, don't be so silly. It looks to me like you been swindled. And when you get swindled under NapoIeonic Code, I get swindled too. I don't like to get swindled. Oh, stanley you've no idea how ridiculous you're being when you suggest that my sister or I or anyone else of our family could have perpetrated a swindle on anyone. Oh, come on, now. Where's the money if the place was sold? Not sold. Lost! -Lost. -Come here. -stanley. -will you just open your eyes to this stuff? -What, she got this out of teacher's pay? -Oh, hush. will you look at these fine feathers and furs that she comes to preen herself in here? What is this article? That's a soIid-goId dress, I believe. -Oh, honest. -This one here. What is that, a fox piece? -stanley! -A genuine fur fox a half a mile long. Where are your fox pieces? This is bushy snow-white ones, no less. Where are your white fox furs? Those are inexpensive summer furs that blanche has had a Iong time. I have an acquaintance who deals in this sort of merchandise. -He's coming to make an appraisal. -Don't be such an idiot, stanley. Listen, I'm gonna bet you there's a thousand dollars invested in this stuff. well, now, what is that? That's the treasure chest of a pirate? -Oh, stanley. would you--? -That's pearls, stella. Ropes of them. What is this sister of yours, a deep-sea diver? bracelets, solid gold. Where are your pearls and gold bracelets? Be still, stanley. And here. Diamonds. A crown for an empress. A rhinestone tiara she wore to a costume ball. -What is rhinestone? -Next door to glass. Yeah. I have an acquaintance who works in a jewelry store and he's coming to make an appraisal of that stuff. -Here's your plantation fella, right here. -You know I- - Stupid and horrid. You stay away from these things before she comes out of the bathroom. The KowaIskis and the DuBois got a different notion on this. Indeed they have, thank heavens. I'm going outside. Go ahead. You come on out with me while blanche is getting dressed. Now, since when are you giving me orders? Are you gonna stay here and insult her? You bet your life I'm gonna stay here. hello, stanley. Here I am, all freshly bathed and scented and feeling like a brand-new human being. Oh, that's good. will you excuse me while I put on my pretty new dress? Go ahead. Thank you. I understand there's to be a little card party here tonight to which we ladies are cordially not invited. That's right. Where--? Where is stella? She's out there on the porch. I'm going to ask a favor of you in a moment. well, now, what's that gonna be, I wonder. Some buttons in back. You may enter. How do I Iook? You look okay. well, thanks. Now the button. well, I can't do no more with them. You men with your big, clumsy fingers. -May I have a drag on your cig? -Yeah, have one for yourself. Why, thank you. It-- It looks like my trunk has exploded. Me and stella was helping you unpack. You certainly did a fast and thorough job of it. well, certainly looks like you raided some stylish shops in Paris, BIanche. clothes are my passion. How much does it cost for a string of furs like that? Why, these were a tribute from an admirer of mine. He must have had a Iot of admiration. In my youth I excited some admiration, but look at me now. would you think it possible that I was once considered to be attractive? Your looks are okay. -I was fishing for a compliment. -I don't go for that stuff. -What stuff? -compliments to women about looks. I never met a dame yet didn't know if she was good-Iooking or not without being told. And some of them give themselves credit for more than they've got. I once went out with a dame who told me, "I'm the glamorous type." She says, "I am the glamorous type." I says, "So what?" -And what did she say then? -She didn't say nothing. -That shut her up like a clam. -Did it end the romance? well, it ended the conversation, that was all. There's some men that are took in by this hollywood glamour stuff... -...and there's some men that aren't. -You belong in the second category. -That's right. -I cannot imagine any witch of a woman... -...casting a spell over you. -That's right. You're simple, straightforward and honest. A little bit on the primitive side, I should think. -To interest you a woman would have to-- -To lay her cards on the table. well, I never did care for wishy-washy people. That was why when you walked in last night, I said to myself: "My sister has married a man." Of course. -That was all I couId teII-- -How about cutting the rebop! stanley! Come on outside with me and let blanche finish dressing. -I'm finished dressing. -Then come on out. -Your sister and I are having a talk. -Honey run to the drugstore and get me a lemon Coke with chipped ice. will you do that for me, sweetie, please? please. AII right. Poor thing was out there listening to us. And I have an idea she doesn't understand you as well as I do. AII right now, Mr. KowaIski, Iet us proceed without any more digression. I'm ready to answer all questions. I have nothing to hide. What is it? In the state of Louisiana we got here what's known as the napoleonic Code. According to which, what belongs to the wife belongs to the husband and vice versa. My, but you have an impressive judicial air. You know, if I didn't know that you was my wife's sister, I would get ideas about you. -Such as what? -Don't play so dumb. You know what. AII right. Cards on the table. I know I fib a good deal. After all, a woman's charm is 50 percent illusion. But when a thing is important I tell the truth. And this is the truth: I never cheated my sister, or you, or anyone else on earth as long as I lived. -Where are the papers, in your trunk? -Everything I own is in that trunk. What are you thinking of? What's in the back of that little boy's mind of yours? Let me do that. It'II be faster and simple. -I keep my papers mostly in this tin box. -What are those underneath? Those are love letters yellowing with antiquity... -...all from one boy. Give those back. -I'm just gonna have a look. -The touch of your hands insults them. -Now, don't pull that stuff. Now that you've touched them, I'II burn them. What are they? Poems a dead boy wrote. I hurt him the way that you would Iike to hurt me. But you can't. I'm not young and vulnerable anymore, but my young husband was, and I.... Never mind about that. Just give them back to me. Thank you. What'd you mean by saying you have to burn them up? I'm sorry. I must have lost my head for a moment. Everyone has something they won't let others touch because of their-- Their intimate nature. AmbIer and AmbIer. Crabtree. -More AmbIer and AmbIer. -What's AmbIer and AmbIer? A firm that made loans on the place. -It was lost on a mortgage. -That must have been what happened. I don't want if, ands or buts. What's the rest of the papers? There are thousands of papers stretching back over hundreds of years affecting belle Reve as piece by piece, our improvident grandfathers exchanged the land for their epic debauches to put it mildly. until finally, all that was Ieft-- And stella can verify that. --was the house itself. And about 20 acres of ground, including a graveyard to which now all but stella and I have retreated. Here they are, all of them. AII papers. I hereby endow you with them. Take them, peruse them, commit them to memory, even. I think it's wonderfully fitting that belie Reve should finally be this bunch of old papers in your big, capable hands. I wonder if stella's come back with my lemon Coke. I got a lawyer acquaintance, we'II study this out. Present them to him with a box of aspirin tablets. Under the napoleonic Code a man has got to take an interest in his wife's affairs. And I mean especially now that she's gonna have a baby. stella? stella, going to have a baby? I didn't know she was going to have a baby. stella. Oh, stella for star, how lovely to have a baby. Honey, everything's all right. We thrashed it out. I feel a bit shaky, but I think I handled it nicely. I laughed and treated it all as a joke. I laughed and called him a little boy and flirted. Here. I was flirting with your husband, stella. The guests are gathering for the poker party. -Hi, stella. -Hi, Steve. I'm sorry he did that to you. Why, I guess he's just not the type that goes for jasmine perfume. But maybe he's what we need to mix with our blood now that we've lost belle Reve and have to go on without belle Reve to protect us. Oh, how pretty the sky is. I ought to go there on a rocket that never comes down. Which way do we go now, stella? This way? No, hon, this way. The blind are leading the blind. Red hots! Are you going upstairs and tell her to cut that out? If I go up, I won't come down. Let's just forget it. Remember that night she poured boiling water through them cracks in the floor? I gotta go home pretty soon. -Come on, what do you say? -No, I'm out. Every time you win a big pot, you're out like stout. I got a sick mother and she don't go to sleep... -...until I get in. -What do you say? I'm gonna wash up. -stella? -Yes, Eunice? You tell them guys the kettle's on the stove. I'm gonna break up the game. -What did she mean by that? -She'II pour it straight through the cracks. stella, wait. Wait till I powder. I feel so hot and frazzled. -Do I Iook done in? -You look as fresh as a daisy. One that's been picked a few days. Why don't someone go to the Chinaman's and bring back a load of chop suey? -I'm losing and you want to eat. -well, I see you boys are still at it. -Where you been? -blanche and I took in a show. BIanche, honey, this is Mr. GonzaIez and Mr. HubbeII. How do you do? please don't get up. Nobody's getting up here, so don't get worried. -Poker is so fascinating. could I kibitz? -You could not. Why don't you women go on up to Eunice's? -How long is this game going to continue? -till we get ready to quit. You should call it quits after one more hand. -Go up to Eunice's. -Hey, that's my coat. That's not fun, stanley. It makes me so mad when he does that in front of people. -I think I'II go bathe. -Again? My nerves are in knots. Is the bathroom occupied? I don't know. -Oh, good evening. -Oh, hello. BIanche, this is harold mitchell. -This is my sister, BIanche DuBois. -How do you do. -How do you do, Miss DuBois. -How's your mother now, Mitch? Oh, she's about the same, thanks. She appreciated your sending over that custard. Oh, excuse me, please. Excuse me. -That one seems superior to the others. -Does he? -I thought he had a sort of sensitive look. -His mother's sick. -Is he married? -No. -Is he a wolf? -Why, BIanche. -well, no, I don't think he would be. -What does he do? He's on the Precision Bench in the Spare Parts Department. The plant that stanley travels for. -Is that something much? -No. stanley's the only one in his crowd likely to get any work. Hey, BIanche, you're standing in the light. Am I? Gracious. You ought to see their wives. Oh, I can imagine. Big, beefy things, I suppose. -Do you know that one upstairs? -Oh, yes. well, one night.... And the pIaster--! Hey, you hens! -Cut out that cackling in there. -You can't hear us. well, you can hear me, and I told you to hush up. stella. Look, this is my house and I'II talk as much as I want to. -stella, don't start a row. -Oh, he's haIf-drunk. I'II be out in a minute. What do you say, Mitch? Come on, Mitch, are you in? No, I'm out. Who turned that on in there? -I did. Do you mind? -well, turn it off! Come on, will you? Let the girls have their music? stanley! There you are. I didn't hear you name it! -Didn't I name it, Mitch? -I wasn't listening. What were you doing? He was looking through the drapes. -I was looking through no drapes. -We're gonna play. We're gonna deal this hand again, play cards or quit. deal me out. AII right, this game's gonna be Spit in the Ocean. Yes? hello. Excuse me. The little boy's room is occupied right now. Oh, excuse me. -Have you got any cigs? -Oh, sure. Oh, what a- - What a pretty case. -silver? -Yes. Yes, read the inscription. Oh, there is an inscription. Why, I can't make it out. "And if God choose I shall but love thee better after death." Why, that's from my favorite sonnet by Mrs. Browning. -Why, you know it. -certainly, I do. well, there's a story connected with this inscription. It sounds like a romance. No, no, it's a pretty sad one. The girl's dead now. She knew she was dying when she give me this. A very strange girl, very sweet. -Very.... -She must have been very fond of you. Sick people have such deep, sincere attachments. -That's right. They certainly do. -Sorrow makes for sincerity, I think. It sure brings it out in people. The little there is belongs to people who have known some sorrow. -I believe you're right about that. -Oh, I'm positive I am. -Hey, Mitch! -deal me out. I'm talking to Miss--? DuBois. DuBois. It's a French name. It means "woods," and blanche means "white" so the two together mean "white woods" like an orchard in spring. You can remember it by that if you care to. You are stella's sister, are you not? Yes. stella is my precious little sister. I call her little in spite of the fact that she's somewhat older than I am. Oh, just slightly. Less than a year. will you do something for me? Sure. Yes, what? I bought this adorable little paper lantern at a Chinese shop on Bourbon. Put it over the light bulb. will you, please? I'd be glad to. I can't stand a naked light bulb any more than I can a rude remark or a vulgar action. well, I guess we strike you as being a pretty rough bunch. I'm very adaptable to circumstances. well, that's a good way to be. -You're not--? -Married? Oh, no. No, I'm an old maid schoolteacher. You may be a schoolteacher, but you're certainly not an old maid. Why, thank you, sir. I appreciate your gallantry. So you're in the teaching profession. Yes. -Yes. -Grade school or high schooI--? -Hey, Mitch! -Coming! Gracious, what lung power. I teach high school in AurioI. well, what do you teach? What subject? -You guess. -well, I bet you teach art or music. well, of course, I couId be wrong. You might teach arithmetic. Never arithmetic, sir. Never arithmetic. I don't know my multiplication tables. Nope. I have the misfortune of being an english instructor. I attempt to instill a bunch of bobbysoxers and drugstore Romeos with a reverence for Hawthorne and Whitman and Poe. well, I bet some of them are more interested in other things. How very right you are. Their literary heritage is not what they treasure above all else. But they're sweet things and in the spring it's touching to notice them making their first discovery of love as if nobody had ever known it before. -Sorry. Oh, excuse me, excuse me. -Have you finished? -Oh, yes. Yes, I have. -Wait, wait. I'II turn on the radio. Turn on the light above now. Oh, look. We've made enchantment. -Three bullets, mustache. -Straight! I gotcha! stanley! stanley! What are you doing with the radio? Drunk! Drunk animal thing! -Get out! -Hey! -Go on, get out! -Hey! Let go of her! My sister is gonna have a baby! You come on up to my place, honey. Sister, did he hurt you, darling? Poker should not be played in a house with women. -AII right, take it easy, will you? -Look out. Get him in that shower. -Look out. -Get him in that shower, I said! Come on, all right. Get his feet, will you? Get his feet! Grab his feet, come on, take it easy. Come on, boy. Get under there. Come on. Get under there. There you go. How do you feel, Stan? stanley, wake up! Hey, stanley! -We ought to get his clothes off and-- -Hey! What do you think--! Poker should not be played in a house with women! Come on! -Hey! -Where's Steve? Come on. Wait. Come here. Take it easy. stella. stella. Honey? Hey, stella? Honey, where are you? stella? Hey, baby.... Look, you can sleep over here, stella. BIanche can have Steve's place. He ain't coming home tonight if he knows what's good for him. Is my baby up there? I want her-- Look, she ain't coming down and she ain't gonna talk to you neither so you might just as well not call her! Hey, stella! You quit that howling down there and go to bed! -Eunice, I want my girl down here! -You shut up! -You're gonna get the Iaw on you. -stella! You can't beat on a woman and then call her back. You're gonna have a baby. I hope they haul you in, turn a fire hose on you Iike the Iast time! -I want my girl down here! -You stinker! Hey, stella! Hey, stella! I wouldn't mix in this. Don't ever leave me, baby. BIanche, come back! Miss DuBois? Miss DuBois? AII quiet along the Potomac now? She ran down here and went back in there with him. -Sure she did. -I'm terrified. Nothing to be scared of. They're crazy about each other. It's a shame this had to happen when you got here. -violence is so-- -Sit down on the steps... -...and have a cigarette with me. -Why I'm not properly dressed. well, that don't make no difference in the Quarter. Such a pretty silver case. I showed you the inscription, didn't I? Yes. So much-- So much confusion in the world. Thank you for being so kind. I need kindness now. Bananas! Bananas! - What? Cousin, cousin, where did you find Mickey? In a train. - What transport? - Me Are you an innocent? I could say I'm a virgin man. Not for long. It hurts. I bleed. No, you're enjoying it. That's me bleeding. You come when I will. Ready? Leon, do not expect. Forget the address, forget everything. Mickey is doing well. Begone! I'd like to ... I can not ... Yes? Do not give money here. Autographs and postcards Post exclusively. Hungry? The ladies are asleep. Do not make any noise. Come into the kitchen. Coffee, chocolate, tea? Below, we, you know All of your disasters. Floods, terrorism, wars, famine, innocent martyrs. Propaganda, we would laugh. We want to see. And when we see we no longer know who we are! But my friend ... in the country of the blind, the Guerci suffer. We must not, you should not watch. Refinement of the morning! Sdolcinature! She is almost as beautiful as my mother. You could have telegraphed. It was easier to take the train. On what platform you fell, a small mine? She was a woman betrothed to a gangster. I spent the night with her. I do not know where now. And here I am. - Have you seen the Eiffel Tower? - I lost your luggage. The portrait of my mother, the last letter of my father, I have his tie, handkerchief ... I don't know where ... "I loved," is not the truth. You touched me. Emotions ... I do think about your father. Beautiful was your father. It always falls before the beauty, especially if you do not bend. What is the truth? Wash whiter? My shirt the trip, the night. The rain ... Do you do this to cause idiocy? I provoke the imbecility ... The im-be-cyl-li-ta! And when your mother came to Paris for the last time I ... I knew that I would not have the magazine. I had a nice try to argue, convinced that I was happy, that would have pleased your father. Compare our destiny as girls compare their clothes. She went to find a saint, a martyr, beautiful, noble ... That she was ... equipped to live, lived near the theater. And I did that the theater I felt ... prevented in life. Behold, I have left. She died of love. While I was there waiting that a visa does not grant ever the sister of a dissident. And now I feel denied of theater and life. - It's like a sky in the countryside. - It's the Atlantic, the sea breeze. You know that there are seagulls flying in the sky of Paris? And it is precisely the Seagull who recites it now. After all, the seagull is my daughter. A small film porno successful and behold return all'Academie francaise today. And that allowed me to resume work, you understand? Does not go well, seabirds do not arrive in Hungary. And the birds like you we are in Hungary? Better do a manual job, my head is still hurting. Forgive me, sorry, you put me at ease. - Nestor! - Madam? Theater. The bird came to rest on the mud. It leaves its trace, most beautiful of his flight, his life. I think of my father, my mother. I try ... not sure - You don't even look me in the face? - It's difficult. It is not your day? What, the woman of that gangster was better? She loved me, you must understand. What, you think I don't understand love? It's better for the other. - What's next? - For what is above. But you talk to God? Could you not remain just for two minutes? It would be sad. - What isn't? Open your eyes. - I don't know how to see. - But I know inside and I see later ... - And have I came inside? Young. Want to check? - So I'll be like your bitch! - No, you would not do. And is this what you want? You are truly a beautiful asshole, cousin. It's André. André, that's my cousin Leon. André is a guy who fucks good. It is well established by my mother, and I was placed in his lap. Marivaux is nice, but side slut, he prefers me. And once in America that could be done? Mr. de La Fayette will give the instructions. Aglaé! - Aglaé! - I come! There is Simon there? Who has two ... There are two ... There are people who prefer to be dead rather than red. Others prefer rather be red than dead. At that time, shake Glucksmann his wild mane style and launches its message: "Nothing about neutron bombs to Fauchon!" At last we meet again at the same place. Order, discipline, social progress. Your theory is more close to us than you think. - You will see, already in Italy ... - To each his theory. - It is more convenient. - And nothing against your practice. - A delightful place on entertainment acchiappaborghesi on the one hand ... and the other sow bombs under the floor of their living rooms. We are reasonable. It's better for everyone. Here we are in the house of a lady. Remember that this is a living room. She is not allowed criticize everything and everyone. Let your children come to me. Simon, she has again disturbed my table. You are a rude, does not know how to discuss with a fascist. Simon, for a man like you, the revolution is the Seagull? The Seagull is the truth. It takes a real scene on the lake. It gives me the means. At the end of the show, open the tanks and finally drown the bourgeois. We do not combine anything, help me. I hunted in a jail. I slog, I turn the engine the other but not surplus. The old is good for the circus ... Aglaé to nail a place in that does not move more it would take me the obelisk of Luxor. - Marie then ... do not speak. - Is it a conspiracy? - I have not even heard coming. - I opened it. - Come in the living room? - I was going in the kitchen. Idiot. He has the courage André. He loves me. I am sure that I prefer my mother. If I'm with him, is to recite better in the theater, you understand. Forbid you to judge. You have confused ideas to do this. Finally. All right. It's clean! So, enlightened, ports reports of Mickey Marie? - I do not know where they are ... - You are as Marie. Put it where the Chiappe. I told you that I would found. He is my dog. My brother of sugar. He knows the future. Your future we'll leave, but this leaves me! Marie has paid his return ticket, is the price. The trip was a surprise and this is priceless. So no cheating with your whistle. Do not you know far more to be a man? Shut up you. I Don't trust you, Albert. The good Lord has addressed if one tries not to understand ... Hit, Albert ... Until hit means you're alive! We know the hiding place of Mickey. It is an hour that we feel the stench. Understand, understand. Excuse me now, first and after. I did not know how to reach you. Before the fuse burning, you were gone. I remember. I tried. LeBaron has found hanging in your window and thanks to a photo of your cousin on "him", take him to the apartment in the face that I had to empty. - It's the most, have not understood anything! - And Mickey? You have done? I destroy everything I love. We repeat, chin. Watch the Venini, it's not destroyed at all. Indeed, you know that was a lover of my mother? He discovered that the love had no money for this animal. He was a thug that proved that he did not have the means to offer what he thought it could throw away. And now, no longer, does not want more, do not know. Thank you, I do. Here is the soup my first Venini mistreated. Mickey has shaken the tree Matalon and the bad the gate waiting to ... If you are a man, don't continue lying there. He is the man under discussion now. A dirty affair between men, of honor, of power. Complaints? Complaining about my mother? I listen to my tears ... Want to taste my love? Love makes miracles. Do you want to see a miracle? It is your law. The puppet who made you jump in the air. You do not jump and do not jump no more! None! None! You can not understand. I come! I promise. - Do you want systems too? - No! I have no shame. It's not my fault. The fault is mine. Idiot. Where have you hunted? Fear not, the police will be here in 3 minutes. First, let me speak. I, the massacrer of the evening, I was not there. I don't know this gentlemen at all If you do this for me, there has never was a girl in the courtyard ... Silence! What the hell on earth are you looking for? I don't know. We are not going to play a tambourine together. She certainly has a motto princely. Wherever I walk, the rogue disappears. "The countess scal ..." ie "the barefoot princess," so to speak ... Mankiewicz ... You have seen death the mother at the hands of Venini. The 4 brothers Venini ... The 4 fingers of Mickey ... I always wanted the good of Marie. Are you looking for the fate of his mother. But do Two days after the board against the merchants of flesh guns and ideas? And we try again with horses crazy. Mickey, you ... The reserve, a thousand chances against one. And the luxury of a desperate gambler. Could I returned to Hungary but I prefer to leave in our world. I'm going to take the deposition of Mr. André, democratic, as a papal bull. But I want to continue to follow your tracks. And those of Marie. Sharpening their teeth and shaking the handcuffs. Gladly send you sterile with your coffin in Hungary. You do not like me. Fault ... her. Marie is poor and defenseless. She goes too far. Just so, innocent. Remember that I am too generous with you. As the same from me. And this is my foot. You know my foot? A nice Calcione a hog foot Parisian. And this in addition. So, courage, the man on the street with his suitcase. So that if the steps even worse. You still have all two ears? It is my fault, I would not have never had to leave you alone. I like when bleed ... But I would much that bloody for me. Curse you, Mary, full of ice. The Lord is against you. And cursed is the fruit of your womb ... Nergal ... At 15 Rue Nergal! Follow the guide, prince. Without me you would never find your way to the gallows Isn't this the search? Mickey has a knot at her. Node ... I like this ... The knot's interesting Without the victim, no farce ... without intrigue, everything is sad. We have the seasoning. Mickey without Marie: No prayer. Marie with Mickey: No means. "The lizard and the need" Nobel prize. Know him? THE CASE AND THE NEED No. Yes, it is this. It is a small survival course use of the convicted innocent. I could astound with a little 'history of France. It is useless, is the South against the North, Against the sordid dirty Lyon against the Saracen. Second door on the right! But, my dear, keep your eyes open! Chicago Massacre of 1930, no lift! There is a friend of Mickey's. Come on, it burns. You must go, now! European third type, that. I have a job for you. Mickey goes wrong. She lost the joy of living. We transmit life if he continues with that woman. Take it away, do it for me. If it is not cheerful, Mickey's not a dick. I do not want to see him, I do not want them both! I do not want, no, no! Purposes before, and now blames me? - The love for piety, Mickey ... - I pity you did not? - The love for pain. - I love her and that was it. - You will comply. - Respect for the cemeteries! You will not ever. To have you in their hands has taken this empty apartment here in front. Okay, your part to exterminate the Venini you have done, but we still have three to go to the bottom. You feel? Now it is you who will flee. Mickey is not the brute that you think. I do not think anything. You ... it is difficult to get wrong. In order to kill, should be a woman. Wrap the blade in silk. - Won't feel anything. - No. You. Get in there. No. .. We are like children, Prince. Marie ... Marie ... Marie ... See? - You suffer? - And you? Our customers! How to put these idiotic. Di 'un po', degenerate, Gothic mosques are you? Oh, just nice, you know? Dr. Gilbert Venini, I presume? Livingstone, shit, asshole. Are you there for ... Mickey wants Benamati entertained. I have too expensive. - Six to watch or you shaking your ass? - I am not shaking at all. And you? - And he wants me to be your Mickey? - Disneyland! - It will be tough. - No, regular. Tomorrow at midnight, where you want. Before the Lord, face to face. Poitiers or else. It was time. For you, the shit flies, stay around your Mickey. If you leave the casbah, we regret ... - The stunt by Masturbator exhausted. - It is not exhausted, is there! Begone, by! Disappear! So what? So what? So what? Non ce l'hai un po 'di roba? Your lovely brothers Simon and Edgar, for example? Are too high, we do not reach. - Yes, at 5 am, Edgar is the white Rue Lénine a Charenteuil ... - It's on us. None of the stuff? Company "Avvenire and Health", at 12th Do not fear, not sanguinerà forever. I am in the habit! Stop! Company "The future and health". The joke that we do that will put a new license plate: "Past and cancer." Come on, parties, burn! Even you. My brother Leon, then Mickey Venini and Edgar ... It is doing this Venini? It is a panzone Cosetta with or with the things? I see no uniforms! It is the director of the company buildings. I am in business with him. Your business shit! Ti cages and you believe in the system? You saying, you do not have dignity! Affecting the family business? Are you sick of paranoia! I want the recipe. It's too complicated for you, will never understand. What I can not understand? Which together with your brothers missile trade with cocaine? Coca push to make the road and the money washed them to become construction materials for guinea pigs. And that hog André the Secretary, Simon and Venini in there, where? Simon is untouchable! It is not the flow from dirty sewer rats! Of sewer rats? This I brings to mind a bath. There is a pool here? The joint construction passing through the Bank of Polo Red ... Spring bank and give me the banker! What does the banker well as the banker to do? Go to the Bois with the German dachshund? Medium rare? Al dente? At the point right? Overcooked? The theater has been put baldracca with an actress. You could tell us what is your name? Aglaé, gia, gia! This information you saved my skin. Unfortunately for you, Marie gave you goodnight. - Can I do anything for you? - Noo ... Why do you show this? Because you are my friend! You know what I want? You know what I feel? Just now I was about to tell you I have a conviction. Servant to someone? A nothing. Sprofondo. You have a religion, you? Noo! Remember, it's for you. At least you do not kill. My woman ... My cross, my skin. Want something else? Disappear before you do a gift pack of all! - I will go to seek it! - Not tired, she's already here! All done. Protect yourself. From him, from me. Impediscimi to empty, to sink. Tappami ... Nooo! Leave decant things ... Life is beautiful ... Can you hear me? Smell. They wet the road for fuck sull'asfalto. Yes, I love you. We have it all. Weaknesses, ideas, history ... This is what forces us to remain seated here waiting for the Cossacks! The weight of money, the ghosts of culture ... The final solution. The Cossacks! If we do not, we could also go wrong, what do you think? In any event, the battle sex we won. The final solution, Anticaglia small middle class. For us we just want the media, the powers of the people living, working. The founders of the company, the anonymous heroes of the future. The future is for the dark forces individuals organized. Solution champagne! Non .. can no longer say anything, especially you can not kill any thoughts or bite! If the teeth are used to climb trees, as the big toe of the foot? There is another world without cruelty, more deformed and more Laido? That when I have my hunger and thirst obligations to think about the meat and blood who want my neighbor? What butcher us legitimate children? Attention to the vase, cousin. Why? We're badly in practice. Clothes, furniture, prisons ... I am like you. I found a solution, the theater. You will see, is not that jumble where he rolls my mother. It really breaks through here. It kills better and faster. It does not make happy, but makes good, better than everything. I would like to remain here. Did I go to system. I have the hip murder me. The body of Simon I will not say no. This I know to do. We all lost, lost in our flesh. - Also you are lost in your flesh, Aglaé, you understand? - Everything is cold. You can not destroy that with media, middle-class scenery. Costumes bourgeois, with a bourgeois game. The bourgeois revolution in the service of on behalf of all humanity which is Perita ... Their souls have merged into one universal soul, that's me. In my mind, the human conscience was confused with the animal instinct. I remember everything and rivivo each exists in myself. - There is something decadent. - Only in the entire universe ... It is cool the actors Simon. You will have you. - It's great what he says. I want the book. - Leave me. - She has had? - Who was I? - Who you had? - Tu. I love you. You know, I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Maybe you should remove trousers if you have the Holy Spirit. You want to do? Why? Why are usually them that they do it to me. I can also legarti feet. For the same reason, usually because ... to me that is doing this. And this why? Because usually Am I that are ridiculous. So we can forget. The return when I want. Do not go! No, I must follow! You need to do evil to survive? - Even a child? - Not a child, it's worse. The worst for me. Bet? A respectable girl who wants the worst. Does this suffering, we like to suffer. And in theater you really have? The try, hear, I will help you. Come. Outcomes? If you off from me, you're lost. For this ... for this! At the station ... Did ricambierò. And Mickey is happy, because this is the pleasure. The vision of Revelation, Ia slut on his throne of blood, the fourth knight, I'agnello the seventh seal, Kafka and his fish! Kafka and his fish ... Okay. Okay. There, I can not ... I used to come here on holiday with my father and my mother. My father died there, in that room. A shot in the barn. But I still ment. It was hung? No. Him .. There is not successful. Him .. The rain ... But she is raging mad. What is? - Are you lost? - Yes Here, with you ... is not like a movie or in books, where everything is clear ... expected ... organized ... with a clear purpose. Everything is chaos, unexpected ... pain ... disorder ... So I try to have them in the order, fans of my mother. I am missing one. - Do you want stories? - No. Why? To know my life. There is no life. There is only war. Listen. I do not feel anything. Close your eyes. Marie ... Marie ... You fly, my friend, cadrai you. We prepare the fall. Do you have exaggerated. If I were human, the kill here, immediately. But I will not be human. I have a word myself. I do not want you to hurry, but there is a theater in precise time. Even the mail, on the other hand ... for parcels ... I am sending them. The exact delivery time. I still have ... for new addresses. And I am always me ... Get a little 'of breath. We must start now. Do not take it, Leon. Commissioner ... has failed to ensure peace cows. It is necessary to provide the size, I ever. Marie is his most valuable. She burns the sharks than in other times have rejoiced to roast his wife. A hero, Commissioner, suffering ... Fixing glue! Do warm nuts! The horses are waiting for me at the gate. Accompagnatemi not, I will go alone. Give me a drink. - Now where you go? - In town. - This is Nina Nicolaevna? - Yes Last Thursday, my uncle was not good and we have telegraphed to come. Why you say that you kissed the land on which he walked? You should kill me instead. Rest, I must rest! I am a seagull! I said to you: lies, pain ... Do not you want more. I am an actress! I am an actress! He did not believe the theater, we always joke with my dreams, and I have come to an end to believe it too. I have lost the courage! The torments of love, jealousy ... The continuing fear for my child. They become petty, insignificant, read like a slut, I did not know what to do with my hands, no longer controlling my voice. You do not know this. Sentire to recite so abominable. I am a seagull. Since I'm here way, way and I think very intensely. And I grow the forces of my soul. I know now, and understand, Kosta, that in our profession an actress or a writer, I'essenziale is not the glory or the splendor of which I dreamed. But the main thing is knowing how to resist. Learning to carry your cross and keep the faith. Here the object is full. So now we define the details. It is shocking, eh? They are conspiracy or what? Our girlfriends ... There is a doll ... here is the head and feet here. I put it upside down. Close your eyes, close your eyes ... Fa 'see where his head. And the walk? And the sex? It's good, eh? Good one. Give me a pleasure. You can ask that illuminate the scene? Desire a child ... Turn all the lights, quick! - Do as he says. - Do not want to mica again? You do not. You played, you have enjoyed. I do what you had to ... And you loved me? I would bite. Why say that he kissed the earth on which I walked? Kill me, you needed. I am so tired. Rest, rest! I am a seagull. I am a seagull. I am a seagull. No, it's not true. I am an actress, you ... Even he is here, si ... But it does nothing, Did not believe him at the theater, is a mockery of my dreams, and I finished to cease to believe it too. I have lost the courage, the torments of love, jealousy ... the constant fear for my child. I became a petty, insignificant, read like a slut, I did not know that what to do with my hands, nor as being in the scene. No longer controlling my voice! Do not know what means this situation. It's good for me. Learn to bring your cross. It preserves your faith. I have faith ... - And the suffering. - This is ridiculous. A girl so ... And when I think of my vocation ... - It is said: the whores ... - You should ... Life does not make me more afraid. Perhaps to die? Here is still alive my last Venini, the untouchable, not the only one who has ever touched me! The only burning ... Chiasso nothing particularly ... In front of rabid dogs ... Buon appetito, ladies! Oh, ministers integrated! Thanks, today there is no more. For me it is not finished. I have offered a theater for quarter of an hour and we are grateful. I quell'innocente for delirium, came down, wounded, from its hole in Hungary, has made cornificare all. The dog is innocent. I contended that a bitch, I was deceived. Want more? - I want everything. - Where do you want and when you want, but immediately. And he is present. You embarrassed? Perquisitelo. The wax of the seventh seal drips on the fingers of the butcher ... The lamb is ready ... Please, there, like whores. - Are you afraid of me? - No. Further, where it is more true, where he feels. Front. [The door behind you ...] I ... Let! Coglione. So the tape that kills? Gone with the wind ... hole ... culo ... Not angry, I rivedrai more. I just wanted to understand, I forgive. If Mickey is in agreement. You hurt? Where? Bakunin, vitamins comrades. Che Guevara, The Bolivian Diary. " Works by Maurice Thorez, imperishable ... "The young Marx, the miseries of the philosophy" ... I only know this. Fred Astaire! Woody Allen, I do not know. "Gone-with-wind," Mickey, ce l'ho! Come on, it burns. Come on, come on! I was there, the tree. I was 11 years, I stewed over the tribunal. I needed to see her, Sunday in a much me in you not enough! You have not even had his bags and that the unfortunate My father did not want more! He even. This was his misfortune! And she was wrapped with those hogs to live their money, of coca, their shit! Mamma, mamma! I did the same. Their they gave me to eat; I was clothed, beaten, but I have not soiled. I am like you, as you are! Mamma, mamma! Now that I'm re ... and that the queen is the queen ... Regina! Impossible, you know, is French! I do not ever marry you! The finish is mine. I need this money! I need this money. It's too exile! But who is he? Ah yes, almost forgot, a surprise, the corset of your mother sold. The hospital, the ambulance, 4 nurses 2 midwives, 4.300 kilos at birth, incognito for 7 months, a triumph! The fault is yours, the lady my age. To each according to his misery. To each according to his needs. My poor little ... It is the love? My wolf ... Love ... I will show you. Mamma ... The smell, this is proof. Do not leave a wounded friend on the face of old age. Especially if it is incompetent. Behold here, man. Come on, come down, idiot. Come on, jump! You want you pull down to the hilt? Su, strength, inside! And do not move. Remember? You tell me ... that if I did all this was for Marie. Yes, you were right. You know that what a girl lost in France? I do not know anyone. It is a woman running until the day that crack. You can not make anything for you. Anything. You can try to kill themselves, is all. I know that I say that I could make a haul worldwide delicious parking in the city. But I am not a good God I am his secretary, all. One more thing. I am not as those of your world. Come. Did I leave it where you want. Tell him that your friend Minister I clean up the city by yourself? Who defend the law against the law? Instigate those carrion against each other, is an art ... seldom rewarded. Then, about a medal? I tell everything. I can not leave you more closely. A sweet? Do not swallow the pit. You still lack one last detail. Marie, I found less than one year. I am his father. Honduras, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Albania, Egypt, the war! Albania, war! Egypt, Nicaragua! I often dream this strange and shocking for a woman unknown and I love and who loves me ... Do not miss this tender time, sweetness to be or not be ... because I have lived nell'attendere and my heart was not that your hand. Be wise, my pain, stay more calm. Relied on the evening falls, here it is. A dark envelops the city bringing about a peace, to those who worry the ... It is from within hours with the dog. I do not want to disconnect? Do not open more eyes, does not say anything. Try to shake shit. Or we get lost seriously the great feast of the white city. You are the only ... And you have not done anything ... Leon? It is the prince of the idiots! I had to do it during his sleep, but thou hast thou awakened. I wrapped the blade in the silk but she does not suffer. Courage, come. Want to finish? - Marie, I love her. - And to me ... - Do you love me? - Yes, certainly. Right. He told me that no other he love like me. And then I said that was not important. My father, my mother, you ... I'amore ... the same foot, the same toes, Ie the same footsteps. The footsteps are dependent on the soles. The mud without trace. It's me. You have the cold, six warm, six warm burn, kill. I want to finish now? Do not make the idiot. Take off your shoes, so think that we are no longer here. Do not give to anyone. No, it's mine. If we had done God we would have made ... otherwise. Mickey! Mickey! The Arabs have been gone! I offer you a peace honorable! Whether we are to make all alone in that hole? - With me you have a chance. - Crack all together for you! This look is without me. I should also see him. - I do not see anything. - But now you see. At the end of a normal film, I too would get a kill, become a hero. There are no more heroes. - There are only humiliated. - Do not say cazzate. Leave. We go away on foot. Disappeared, lice, Moroccans. Damn! Léon! It's the end of the world. I do not have the lake. There will be no more true revolution. Now do not you move more, understand? Sorveglialo. Save me ... take me ... where you want ... where you want ... where you want ... THIS FILM WAS INSPIRED BY "The Idiot" by Fiodor Dostoyevsky. It is intended as TRIBUTE TO A GREAT WRITER. when you ... when you ... when you ... when you ... when you ... when you ... LIMPET LOVE Dear asshole, have you unlocked the safe? How brave of you! - And the goods are still in the safe? - Oh yes! Don't fret, if anything goes wrong, we'll do the fire brigade! Don't get any funny ideas, you leach! "Story by:" See, you bunch of jerks? Oh, shit! Tell me again how you pull these things off? I've put the luggage in coach 15, compartment 21! And for the first time in history, even the train from Hungary is on time! If I had wheels, I'd always be on time. Hey cornflake! Do you breathe at night? In Budapest, we hoped that everything was better here - even sleep. Is that why you're wearing your best pajamas? These are all I have. I'm not rich. But, my mother was French. Is French all you speak? He speaks lingo with his mouth, Yugoslav with his hands, Japanese with his feet, Arabic with the ladies, and French with his... Fuck! Drop it! Drop what? It means, crawl off, like when you stamp on something creepy with your clog. You dig clogs? of course! Clogs, dig... Me... my father died a year back. My mother three months later, because she loved him. We need foreign invitations to leave Hungary. The daughter of the sister of my mother who is a movie star - do you say "star"? Me, when I go to the movies, it's just for the music. And I'm in love with the prettiest babe in the world. Me, I've never been in love. I've only been sick. What's the difference? Me... I was locked up in a mental hospital. I was yelling in the streets, because my father, see, was put in jail. - Did they bang him up? - Five years times two! - As for my father: One times even equals seven! - My name's Léo! You're kidding, that's my name too! But my father was top dog... a King! - Mine was only a Prince! - Mine was old school: Poet, Jew, writer! Me not... Hi, my name is Mickey! Delighted. My brothers: François, how French can you get, - Antoine, even worse... - Don't push it too far. Ferdinand the Baron. This guy's just an idiot, can't you see? Wanna see her face? What do you make of her? She craves warmth. You'll do it. I was there, gawking like the rest. She looked at me, but didn't see me. - But, tonight... - Tonight? Hey, I buy her! - What's going on? - What do you think? Passports, tickets, cha cha cha! Duvigny. Defarge. Theron. Fuselli. Salesman. Ten foggy days in Budapest? I just started my shift, detective. We're just chatting with a friend from Budapest. We're in first class, coach 15. Hungarian. Thank you. Can you show me your luggage? of course, enthusiastically sir! To be enthusiastic means to be inhabited by God! Brilliant. Hey... If cops freak you out, how will you ever make it with women? Brothers with different names... and I'm not a friend from Buda. Hey, Dumbo! Look! Isn't it grand? You will meet her, you will see her, but you will never believe what you see! Isn't Paris more rich than your Buda-shit? - Nobody picking you up? - No, I wouldn't dare put anyone out. The ambulance won't be here for two hours, shall we grab some grub? Here, you buy what you like! Cigarettes, candy... But there was no fog in Budapest. What was the name of your mental hospital again? Will you remember my bros' names? I'm so sorry... it's my head... hurts... Beauty, fitness, sickness, women! That's my cousin's name... Whatever, all of them whores. Except one! Dig it? "Clog"! Here you have to buy! And to buy, you have to pay! Enjoy it? Snap, rush, touchdown! Here, they shield everything in the same way. Their women, their armchairs, their money, their paintings. They're so wary, and rightly so. Now we're fisting! - Glitz and glamor... - Come on, Prince! Like some shit? Have it! Choke on it! See that! Fisticuffs, huh? Do you think I look snazzy enough? My partings, my nails... my feet? My earrings. You're not wearing them? Difficult, considering... was it you? Earrings? Tip of the iceberg... Why tonight? Because, to have a fiancé who is 50% shit is too much. Why me? Because tonight... I'm loaded! And you, do you know how to weigh or measure love? What are you staring at? Your buttons. They're all... wrong. I mean, you're beautiful. Takes a lot of work. Courtesans yes, maids no! - Got a taste for it? - Haven't we eaten? - Was it you? - No, it's me. Then strip. So, are you disturbing the peace? It's only André. on the table! Time's up, oldtimer! You'll never make another omlet from bad eggs then snitch like you did to my father! These empire chairs, bit shoddy aren't they? Just like all empires! Anybody moves and he gets it deeper. You little punk! I'll crush you as I... You started living the high life too soon, Joseph Venom. Your Picassos and Bacons and those fellas who paint your ceilings. I know those guys. Doughnut economics! 50/50! The cake for you, the hole for everybody else! Ladies and gentlemen, hello! The Middle East! Flat-packed atomic bombs! Nerve gas! School-kid soldiers minced in the swamps, between Iran and the other one! Our export figures look so good in the National Assembly reports! And I being a zero! - No, the other one. - Sorry. - So what now? Go straight to the hilt? Right. I'm doing this by the numbers! The price of the Queen, like in Shake-a-spear. You must have ran into a book, now that you're no longer working the streets. Nobody surrenders a Queen. You have to take her, you buy her, you have to deserve her. Come on, all together! "O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree, "How are thy leaves so verdant!" Were you talking about me? My love. But I'm worthless! My Queen! Excuse my lateness, I was drowning in Ministry paperwork! And what the fuck are you doing here? And what about you, you, you! Under what name are you working at the Ministry? Delacroix, Delacunt, Delacock! And then, Jewish names like Ben Asshole that smell fishy in the Ministry? Stop your bullshit! Lay off. He's honest. Like honest? Be honest, then! Keep it simple and straight. You love her how much? You don't get it. She's very expensive. Sorry... Thank you... It's not right to burn people. I'll give you everything. My name, my memories, my life. My handkerchief. Throw me away whenever you want, if you have to. Idiot. Don't get hooked, that's my woman. You want to love her too? - Yes, that's my handkerchief. - And me? Oh yes! And you? Maybe. Lovers... Friends... A meeting of ends. I'm taking her, she's too decent for you! - Looks serious. - You're right! Letting your dad rot in jail, that's serious. Changing your name, that's Napoléonic! What part are you going to play in your new family, shit-guzzler? Shit, help me, Matalon! How long have I been saying she's nuts, boss? Start digging your grave, dickhead! Yours will only need a lid on top. Music! Roll end credits! - I love you! - My God. Can you stomach this? You should have gone to a posh deli in Neuilly. - Does he love her or something? - He hates her! Who the hell asked you? And who's you, anyway? Sorry, I didn't want to hurt you. Idiot! You'll regret that very much. So, Léo! What do you think of Parisian Nights? This is nothing, wait for the main course! Don't you miss the pigs? - You won't snout, will you? - No. Why? I don't judge anyone. Who judges the judges here? Men who have women and friends, they're shelters from justice. Can you keep on picking my dishes? That's class, eh? Not even lost her appetite! The best for you, my gem. My black gem. I'm not a black gem. I live like my mom did. In expensive clothes, in luxury, in flesh, without pleasure. But it would be good to find somebody that loves me, a husband, just like in real life. The Venom family, you know there are four of them? I'll make Ancient Mariners out of them. Impressed? Me no high school! A black gem in the hollow of dunes. Cold Venom for the vultures, and a gold toothpick for my father. That's the lineup! Now paint the town red! Shift asses! Shake heads! Hey you! You don't care about turning up late to my engagement, making wallpaper out of my bro? Sure Martine, you're pushing it! Listen, I was in pain! Everyone has monthlies once a month! - Come on, eat, drink! You got here at 9 like everyone else! - You're too rough handling her! Hey baby bro, feet too busy spinning in your oatmeal? A cheap, pathetic fuck, that's tops for you lot! Princesses for Princes, and trailertrash for flunkies. You'll never get beyond that! That's not about you, Prince. If I hadn't used my brains to work my ass off for six months, we would never have pulled the job off. You didn't believe in me, and you still don't. one shouldn't be crawling on all fours like a worm. My star! Venom is a bit scrunched, but still alive! Reliable sources blame the Armenians! A bit skittish they are now. Venom was probably dealing with some big Turkeys! That's more honorable! Mickey Micheyan sewed the shit, now he has to drink it. They're assholes, those kids. It's the moon, Mercury. Mickey, he's a marked man. The stars are my thing. You've got the jitters? Wanna split? There's a door behind. I couldn't. - Because of her? - Yes. What's her ass got that mine hasn't? She's fragile. That's all in your head. And your head is here. You, the slut! And you, the missionary, you wait long before you get it! Here they come! My comrades... It's not the same syndicate, commissioner. It's private here. It's not them, detective. The landlord assured me they've been here since 9. Oh, I know these guys. They're... small fry... tiddlers. Their father was in the Resistance. Dirty little habits... The tiddler says... Good evening, Miss. Fire and brimstone at Mr. Venom's, huh? You made a good move. I'm making another: Your engagement present. - Good behavior: Seven years, minus ten days. - Shit, how could I know? They haul me out of the clink only to say that you're shitting in Venom's boots. It's not '45 or '68 any more. In '45, you were king of the streets. What a result. - The streets are still around. - So am I. But the posters have changed. Well, I'm not dumb enough to get my head on a poster! But dumb enough to have your father clean up after you. Your stepbrother is right. To survive, it's better to forget. So they got you banged up, guaranteed you a soldier's pension, is that it? What I did, I did in memory of you. And for her. That's one too many, Mickey. To survive, you've got to forget! I did it for you. Here, have your beloved son! Your favorite! I love you! Mary! Mickey... Judas... Mickey... Judas... To survive, it's better to survive... See what's left? The old man's dead, Donald's dead, my woman... Your woman was a twat. Here, park this! You don't have to bad-mouth Martine! It's a bit late for niceties! I have a woman and a friend. I'm home and dry. You said that, didn't you? - No, it was you. - Same thing. Park her for me. We've gotta pull out the stops. It's not The Beatles any more, it's Attilla and the Destroyers... no future. If there's still a future, it's tomorrow, 15 rue Nergal. Now duck. You trust this jerk with the hot stuff? - The hot stuff and the ice queen! - My virgin Mary! Would you like some medication? Sure, I know a drugstore. Antoine and I knocked it off a few times, years ago. For peanuts, petty cash or speed! Remember, Antoine? We'll keep the hearse. Why not leave it here? For what? Should I throw in two wreaths and wait for the Père Lachaise to open? Coming? Just a sec. Time enough to waste this jerk first. - Are you retarded or what? - He touched Martine. This rat is jinxed! Here they come! I'm warning you, lying is my speciality. You're not what's lying. - What is? - Poverty! If one lies, it's to get... one shouldn't ever get! Here, it's okay. Jeez, my clog! We can't stay here! - Do you have money? - No! It's full of memories, this place. I started when I was thirteen. I never hurt. I made supermen out of them. Don't worry, my tiptoes are always cold. The ice queen doesn't want to die. To sleep... to die... to kill... to make love... Same battle. What are you? - Hatchet man? Pocket knife? - Pardon? Friend of a friend? Where did Mickey unearth you? In a train. What were you trafficking? Myself. You're a simpleton? Can you say "virgin" for a man? Not for long. I'm hurting. I'm bleeding! No, you're coming. I'm the one who's bleeding. You're wet, when I want you! Léo, don't wait for me. Forget the address, forget everything. Mickey's okay. Anyway. I'd like... I can't... Yes? We don't give handouts. Autographs and postcards via mail exclusively. Hungry? The ladies are sleeping. No noises please. Come into the kitchen. Coffee, chocolate, tea? From where I come from, we're force-fed all of your disasters. Floods, wars, famines, terrorist attacks, kid soldiers... We shrug off propaganda, we want proof; once we have it, we don't know who we are anymore. But darling... In the Kingdom of the Blind, the one-eyed suffers. So don't look. Chat up in the morning! Death in the afternoon. You're almost as pretty as my mother! You should have let me know. It was easier to take the train! In which hole did you fall? It was a woman who was being courted by a gangster! I spent the night with her. I don't know where she is. I came here. Have you seen the Eiffel Tower? I lost my luggage! My mom's picture, my father's last letter, his tie, handkerchiefs too! I don't know where! "I loved her". That's not the truth. She touched me... moved me... You remind me of your father. He was handsome, your father. You always fall for beauty, especially when it doesn't buckle. What use are your truths? Does they wash whiter? My shirt. It was the journey. The night. The rain... the rain... Do you get a kick out of it, or is it just stupidity? I kick stupidity? Stupidity! And when your mother came to Paris for the last time, I knew I'd never see her again. I tried to talk myself into believing she was happy. They said your father could be released. We compared out destinies, like young girls comparing dresses. Now she was going to be reunited with a saint. A martyr, beautiful... noble. Her gift was living, and she got theater instead. My gift was theater. Instead I got snarled up in life... So it goes. She went back. She died of love. I waited here for a visa that's never issued to dissidents' sister-in-laws. And I became as bad at acting as I am in life. "It's like the sky in the country". It's the Atlantic, the wind from the ocean. You know we have seagulls here in Paris? That's what I'm doing at the moment, The Seagull. Well, the play. My daughter plays the lead. Nowadays, after two cheap porno films, you can even become a member of the Academy. She arranged for me to have a part in the play. Do you know it? Not really. Sea birds don't fly to Hungary. And what kind of bird are you? What do you do in Hungary? I was told to work with my hands. My head still hurts. A bird of different feather. I'm sorry, you make me feel uneasy. Nestor? To the theater! The bird touches down on the mud, leaves his mark, more beautiful than his flight, than his life. I think about my father, about my mother. I'm searching in the mud. - Don't you want to look at me? - It's difficult. Tough day? Was it easier with the gangster's woman? It was just a reflex. She loved me. So one has to be in love to reflect? It's better for the other one. - The neighbor? - Up above. Do you mean God? Could it be just the two of us for two minutes? It'd be too sad. But everything's sad, open your eyes! I can't see. I can see into, but not... And how am I, into? Young. Would you like to visit? I can be just as cheap a tart as your tramp, you know! No you can't. You enjoy that? You really are fucked up, friend of a friend! It's André! André, meet my friend of a friend, Léo. André is a man on the move. He's moving in Mom, who's moving him up. Forget sweet talk, when it comes to whoring, I'm his bet. "But once in America, what will we do? "Monsieur de la Fayette will provide you with instructions!" Aglaé? - Coming! - Monsieur Simon has arrived. There are those who'd rather be dead than red. And those who'd rather be red than dead. At that very moment, Glucksmann shakes his ritzy coiffured mane, and shouts his message: "No neutron gale in Bloomingsdale!" In the end, we arrive at the same point: Order, discipline, social progress. The gap between your theorists and ours is smaller than you think. Wait and see, look at Italy... To each their own theories, that works best in practice. I'm not being critical, it must feel delicious bankrolling stage productions to, on one hand, entrap the bourgeoisie, and on the other, plant bombs under their living room floors. But let's be fair - everyone is entitled to a slice of the cake. We are the guests of a lady. This is a first class lounge. Your bladder's not big enough to pee in all four corners. Let the little children come to me. Simon, you destroyed my table plan again. You're a real ruffian. You can't even hold a conversation with a fascist. Simon! Only a man of your stature knows that there is revolution in "The Seagull"! In a seagull there is truth. We need a real lake on stage. Give me the means. At the end of the show, we open the flood-gates, and enjoy the bourgeois taking the plunge! I'm getting nothing out of it. It's some hard row to hoe. I'm hoeing. I grease their cogs. I oil my piston. And then what? The old bag, fit for Ziegfeld Follies. Aglaé! To keep her happy I should have been equipped with the obelisk of Luxor. - Mary - I'm speechless! - What are you up to? I didn't hear you come in. This gentleman let me in. - Will you join us in the lounge? - I'm heading for the kitchen. Idiot. André's got guts. He does love me. I'm sure he prefers me to his mother. I share him so I can act better in the play. Do you understand? You've no right to judge me! You've got too much fog in your head for that! At last! It's okay. He's clean. Hey, St. Fruitcake, do you have news from Mickey for Mary? - I don't know where he is. - Same as Mary... You've come to join the winning team? I've been telling you that he would find me. He's my puppy. Like my sweet little brother! He knows about tomorrows. I'll give you your tomorrows, but hands off my today! Mary got back her ticket, but for a price. I was bowled over by her journey. And that was priceless. Stop sticking your weenie into what's not yours! You know other ways to prove your cocksmanship, don't you? Shut it! Watch it, Albert... The good lord rears his ugly head when a prick tries not to understand. As long as you punch me, Albert! When you're punching me I know you're alive! At last, we got the address for Mickey's hidey-hole! We've been in the know for an hour. Savvy? You'll understand. Sorry for now. Sorry for before. Sorry for after. I didn't know how to get hold of you. By the time I snuffed out the fuse, you'd disappeared. I called back. I looked. Le Baron tracked you down, he looked up the name of your cousin, thanks to her centerfold in that nudie mag. He bought out this apartment, just across from yours, because I asked them to. Top dollar! They never understood my caprices! And Mickey? What did you do to him? I destroy everything I love! I told you, I am a liar. The Venom is here, not entirely eradicated. By the way, did you know he used to be one of my mother's lovers? He just found out that you can't put a price tag on love, this venomous man. A small time punk proved to him that he couldn't keep something that he thought he could junk. Now he can not, he wants not, he knows not. Thanks. I'll do it. Here comes the soup for my first broken Venom. Mickey's a mover and a shaker, but this mean Matalan, he's angling for... If this is still a man, he wouldn't take it, lying down! It's manhood at question now. Man's ugly business. Honor, power... Gonna start moaning? Was my mom moaning? Me? I faked the screams! A spoonful, my love? Love is a miracle, you want to see a miracle? I'm just following your laws. You really are the puppet they made out of you. Fucked by a grenade. You can't fuck over, or even just fuck! Anyone! Anyone! Go away! Can't you understand? I'll come! I'll come, I swear! Shall I decorate with his brains too? I'm not ashamed. I'm not ashamed. It's not my fault. It's mine. Idiot. So you're in? Don't worry. The cops will be here in 3 minutes. Just let me do the talking. Last night's massacre? I wasn't there. This gentleman? We've never met. If you do this for me, never was there a young lady in this courtyard. Silence! What are you groping for down there? I don't know. So we won't be playing ping pong? You must certainly have some princely motto, say: Wherever I appear, the scum disappears. The barefoot... "The Barefoot Contessa", one might say. Mankiewicz. She saw her mother die at the hands of the Venoms. The four Venom brothers. Like Mickey's four fingers. I've only wanted what's good for Mary. But she seeks her mother's fate. What can one do... Two days before retiring, And still sizing up guys who sell both the cannons and the fodder, the catchphrases. But I keep trying, with the wild horses. Mickey, you, the limpet. 1000 to 1. The luxury of desperate gamblers. I could give you back to your Hungary, but I'd rather release you into our wild. I'll take Mr André's statement democratically, like the Pope's edict. And I'll keep sniffing your scent. And Mary's. Sharpening my chompers and waiting for wonders. I'll ship your miserly, meagre coffin back. I don't like you. It's because of her. She's deranged, she feels the cold. What's eating you up... Shut your trap, Mr. Innocent! Don't forget that I'm being generous to you! Just like the Police at home! Do you want to feel my trotter? A big portion of Parisian pig trotter? Braised too? Thrash him out! His stupid suitcase too! In case he falls over even more. You still in one piece? It's my fault, I shouldn't have left you all by yourself. I like it raw. But I would like it to get raw for me. Curse you. Mary, full of ice, The Lord is against thee, Punished art thou among women, and punished is the fruit of thy womb. Nergal! 15 rue Nergal! Follow the guide, my prince! Without me, you'll never find the path to passion. Isn't it what you want? Mickey has a bone to pick with you. The bone, i love that. The bone and marrow... Without the pheasant, nothing is pleasant. Without spice, nothing is nice. The gravy is simmering... Mickey without Mary: No religion. Mary without Mickey: No way. "Lizard and Necessity". Nobel Prize, rings a bell? "CHANCE AND NECESSITY" That's it, a short survival course for the innocent going on trial. I could surprise you with a bit of French history. Useless, it's still the South against the North, the sombre against the dirty, the Parisians against the Arabs. Second door to the right. But my dear, watch out. Cock fighting in Chicago, 1930... and no elevator. He's Mickey's pal. Hot! Hot! Hot! It's almost burning. Time's up. A European Encounter of the Third Kind. I've got a job for you. Mickey's not well. He's lost his mojo. He'll lose his life if he keeps that woman. Take her away, do it for me. If Mickey's not chirpy, he's no good. I don't want him! I want him to go! You did her, and now you've come to see what it did to me? - I love her out of pity, Mickey. - Don't you, by chance, pity me a little? - I love her out of sorrow. - Me, I love her out of full stop! - She respects you. - Like one respects graveyards. I'll never leave her to you. It's to have you in her mitt that she took that mad flat just across from yours. Yes, you did your bit to waste the Venom. But there's still three to go in her noble cause. You up for it? Now it's you she'll run away from. Mickey isn't the brute you believe he is. I don't have beliefs. It... It's tough to hurt you. For me to be able to kill you, you need to be a woman. I'd wrap the blade in silk. You wouldn't feel a thing. No. She would. Buzz off! Oh no! We are such children, prince. Mary... See? - D'you suffer? - D'you? Our clients! Right on time, like for church! Hey degenerate, you got Gothic mosques at home? Doctor Gilbert Venin, I presume? Shit Livingstone, asshole? Your finger's on the pulse. Mickey the Arab wants a word with you. I'm very expensive. - Playing for keeps, or you got the creeps? - Don't you worry. We're in a pest controlled area. What's on Mickey's agenda? Disneyland! - That's gonna be tough. - No, a straight split. Tomorrow, midnight, where you want, ladies as witnesses, face to face, all holds barred. It's high time. You shit flies, keep buzzing around Mickey. If he ever comes out of the Casbah, he'll regret his mad wanking. He's not mad, he's here! Skedaddle! Oh my! Oh my! Your what? Do you have an aspirin? Your lovely brothers. Simon and Edgar, for instance. out of your league. Forget it. Edgar. 5 am. Blow deal. Rue Lenine. In Charenteuil. That's our turf. Sure you've got no aspirin? Office..."Future Wellness". Apartment... 12. Don't fret. It won't be bleeding for long. Now it's a habit! Well, kick it! "Future Wellness". With what they'll get from us, they'll qualify for a new plaque: "Past Flabby Cankers"! Hit it. Big time. My half brother, Léo, Mickey. Edgard Venom. What does he poison, this Venom? He's the fat pussy with a small... I can't see his full livery. He heads the Office of Buildings and Investments. He's investing in me. He's pumping shit into your veins. They all screw you 'cause you believe in the system. All that's in vain 'cause you don't have taste. Do you get off on family affairs? You unhealthy paranoid. I want the recipe! It's too complex. You wouldn't get your head round it. Around what? That you and your Venom brothers swap guided missiles for Afghan dope? Dope which you blow up in the street? Laundering fallout through Buildings and Investments to get clean books? As for official stamps, we've got Mr André at the Ministry. And where is Simon Venom in all of this? Simon's untouchable. He doesn't mix with dirty Arabs like you! Dirty Arabs? Reminds me of waterboarding. You got a bathtub in here? Buildings and Investments operate through the Pole Pot Bank. Forget the bank, I want the banker! Apart from banking, what does the banker do? Walk his dachshund through the park? Rare? Medium? Well done? Overdone? The theater. He took a shine to some piss pot actress. Care to impart her pseudonym? Aglaé. Gla Gla! That tip would have saved your hide. Unfortunately, I have a kiss from Mary. - What can I do for you? - Nothing! Why do I make a show of it? Because... you're my friend. You know what I feel, right now, here? I'll tell you. I'm gonna barf. What am I good for? Nothing gives. Makes a void inside. You got religion? No! Here. That's for you. You, at least you don't kill. My woman. My cross. My skin. Anything else you want? Shoo, or do you want a bow on top too? No, I'll go to her! Don't sweat, she's here! It's done! Hold me against you, against him, against me. Stop me from running out, from drowning. Plug me. Whatever floats your boat... Life is good. Can you smell it? Take a breath! They watered the street, to make us grow on the paving. Yes, I do love you. We've got everything! Our weaknesses, Ideas, History! But what's keeping us on our asses, waiting for the Cossacks to strike? The burden of Money? The phantoms of Culture? The Final Solution? If we don't turn to face the Cossacks, it might hurt a little, get me? In '44 we won the Battle of the Rails. The Final Solution? Stale bourgeoisie farts. We need to take the middle ground, the power of living people, the workers. The founders of society, the heroes of the future. The future belongs to the unsung forces of common people, once organized. Final Dis-Solution in champagne! Can not say... anything right! But... above all... must not kill... with each and every thought! With each bite! Maybe teeth are for climbing trees. Like big toes? Does another world exist, without cruelty, or would it be even more deformed, and uglier? When I'm hungry and thirsty, who forces me to think of the blood, and the flesh that my neighbor ogles? of which slaughter house are we kids the inheritors? Watch out for the vase, cousin. Why? You're not good with reality. These clothes, this furniture, the prisons. I'm the same. I found a way out: The theater. You will see. It's not that place where oldies flock, and where my mother is a total flop. It can really blow your mind, make you die better and faster. Doesn't make you happy, but it shreds you up. Better than anything. I'd like to stay here. It can be arranged. I have killer thighs. Simon's corpse can't say no to me anymore. That, I know how to do. We're all lost souls, souls lost in our flesh. You're lost in your flesh, Aglaé. Do you understand? Everything's cold cold cold. ...can only destroy itself, with bourgeoise means, bourgeoise sets, bourgeoise costumes, bourgeoise acting, the bourgeoise at the bidding of the Revolution, in the name of wrecked humanity. Their souls melted into one... the universal soul, it's me. In me human consciousness blends into the animal instinct. And I can live each and every existence through me. This stuff sounds decadent. Alone in the universe, my spirit remains... She's fresh. Simon's ham... she'll get you. It's beautiful, what she says. I want the book. Let go! Did she get you? Who got me? Who got you? You did. I love you. You. I love you. You. I love you. You, I love you. Maybe it would be useful to remove your pantaloons if you want to see the light. Do you want me to? Why? Because people normally do it for me. I can also tie up your feet. Why? Because, usually I'm the one they tie up. And why that? Because usually I'm the ridiculous one. This way, we will forget each other. I'll take him back whenever I want to. Don't go! I have to go after her. Do you need to deal out pain in order to survive? Even to a kid like that? She's not a kid, it's worse. The worst must be me! Want to bet? A proper little lady who would want the worst, is it able to suffer then? Is it trying to suffer? Does one really suffer in theater? You'll taste. Feel. I'll help you. Come. You dithering? If you pull out of me, you're finished. Because of that? That? Lyon Station. I owe you for this one. Oh, how happy Mickey will be! For me, this is a pleasure, a vision of the Apocalypse, the Whore on her throne of blood, the fourth horseman, the lamb of the seventh seal, Kafka and his goldfish! Kafka and his goldfish. Good. Good. There I can't. I spent my holidays here with my father and mother. My father died in that room. A bullet to the attic. I'm lying again. Did he hang himself? No... he goofed it up. He... The rain. What's up with you? Soft in the head? Did you get lost? Yes. Here, with you. It's not like in the movies or in books, where everything is precise, thought-out, organized... with a clear-cut goal. Everything's chaos, chance... pain... disorder... Still, my way of putting things in order is to get them, one by one, my mother's lovers. There's one left. Do you want me to tell? No. What for? To know my life. There is no life. There's only a war. Listen. I can't hear anything. Close your eyes. Mary? You're gliding too high, friend. You're gonna crawl back. I won't cushion your descent. You're overdosing. If I were human, I'd waste you here and now. I'm not going to be human. I won't go back on my word. I wouldn't want to hurry you, but theaters run on precise timetables. Go betweens too. For packaged news, I'm the only one, for timely deliveries. It's me. For the right address, it's still me. one last breath of fresh air... and it's time to go now. Don't get alarmed, Léo, The commissioner is here just to make sure all's quiet on the Alpine front. Better carry a piece. Me, never. Mary, she's his most precious thing. He's burning through those creeps who got their kicks from grilling his wife. A hero, the commissioner, in the line of suffering. Stoke the dice. Load the fire! The carriage awaits me at the gates. Don't see me at the door, I will go alone. The carriage awaits me at the gates. Don't see me at the door, I will go alone. May I have a drink. Where are you going now? To town. Is Nina Nicolaevna here? Yes. Last Thursday, my uncle was feeling unwell. We sent him a telegram. Why did you tell me you kissed the earth I walked on? I should be killed, to be put to rest, to be put to rest, I am a seagull! I warned you: Lies, dullness. I don't want you. - I am an actress! He didn't believe in theater, he always used to mock my dreams, and I ended up not believing in them, either. I lost courage! And then the turmoils of love, the jealousy, the constant fear for my little one. I was becoming petty, insignificant, My acting was stupid, I didn't know what to do with my hands. I couldn't control my voice. You don't know what it feels like, knowing that you act atrociously. I am a seagull. Since I came here I've been walking a lot, I walk, and I think intensely, and I can feel my soul strengthening. I know now, I understand, Kostia, That in our trade, artist or writer, the essential is neither the glory, nor the sparkles, all that I dreamt of. The essential is to know how to endure. Learn to carry your cross and keep your faith. Here's the item. It's intact. Now, let's talk details. Abhorrent, isn't it? Are they plotting, or what? Our fiancées. Here's a doll. Here's the head, here's the feet. I turn her upside down. Close your eyes, close your eyes. There! Show me where the head is? Now, her feet. And now her sex. That's a good one, huh? Isn't it? Do us a favor, please? Could you turn the stage lights on again? It's a child's dream. Turn the lights on, now! Do as she says. We won't go at it again! Not you. You performed... you came. I got what I could for you. Did you like my acting? I could smash... Why did you tell me you kissed the earth I walk on? You have to kill me! I am so tired, to rest, to rest! I am a seagull! No, that's not it. I am an actress. That's it! He's there too. Yes. But that's nothing. He didn't believe in theater, he always used to mock my dreams, and I ended up not believing in them either, I lost my courage! And then the turmoils of love, the jealousy, the constant fear for my little one. I was becoming petty, insignificant, my acting was stupid! I didn't know what to do with my hands, didn't know how to stand! I couldn't control my voice! You don't know what it feels like! She's better than me. Learn to carry your cross and keep your faith I have the faith, and I suffer. It's ridiculous. Chicks like this... When I think about my vocation, Say it: "whores". one should... Life doesn't scare me anymore. Put them down? Here's the only Venom still alive, the untouchable, the only one that never touched me. The one that lights the match! I don't want the penguins splattered in ketchup. Especially not in front of the fuzz. Enjoy your meal, gentlemen! "Ministers of Integrity"! Thank you, show's over. It's not over for me. You gave me a theater as payment for a quickie. I resented you, and went crazy about that innocent. He burst out of his Hungarian shithole, out of his mind, then began fucking things up for everyone. The innocent is a dog. I bought him back from this harlot - I was wrong. Do you still want me? I want everything. Whereever you want, whenever you want. As long as it's now. And I want him to see it, OK? Search him. The wax of the seventh seal drips on the butcher's fingers. The lamb is ready. Here, if you please - same as them. Am I frightening you? Lower. Where it's real. Where it smells. Get lost! Get lost! The door behind you! Me. Leave it to me! You little cunt! So, about that killer video... "Gone with the Wind". Ass... hole. Don't fret, he won't see me again. I just want him to understand me, and to forgive. If Mickey's okay with that. Are you hurt? Where? Ba-ku-nin... Comrade Vit-a-min... Che Guevara, "The Bolivian Diaries". Maurice Thorez... complete works, timeless. "The Young Marx: The Misery of Philosophy", I know this. Fred Astaire. Woody Allen. Who's that? "Gone with the Wind". Mickey, I've got it! Come on! Torch it! I was there in the tree. Eleven years old. Playing hooky from boarding school. I needed to see her! A Sunday once in a while wasn't enough! She didn't even bother packing her bags! How she was fed up with my poor cop father! And he with her. It killed her. She wallowed with those pigs. In their dough, their drugs, their shit! Mommy, mommy, my mommy! I followed. They fed me, they dressed me, they beat me, but they never sullied me. I'm like her, I'm like her, I'm like her, like her... like her... I'm like her... Mommy, mommy... mommy! My mommy... Now that I am King... and that the Queen is Queen... "Impossible" is a French word. I'll never marry you. Leave the ending to me. I need this money! I need this money... It's too swell. Expatriation! What is that? Oh yes, I forgot to tell you, the big surprise! Your mother's corset exploded. Ambulance, firemen, four nurses, two obstetricians. Nine and a half pounds on arrival, incognito for seven months! A triumph! It's all your doing... Madam's my age. "From each according to his faculties; "To each according to his needs". My poor little thing. Is it love? My cub... Love. I'll show you. Mommy! The smell is the proof. You don't leave a friend wounded in the trenches of old age. Especially when they're incontinent. Here I am, my friend. Come on, get down here, you prick. Do you want me to snatch you by the balls? Jump off! And don't fidget! Do you remember when, you told me that I am doing all this for Mary. You were right. Do you know what a "lost girl" means in French? Nobody knows any more. It's a woman that keeps on walking until she falls apart. You can never help her. Ever. You can try to kill yourself. That's all. Yeah, I know. You could tell me that I could have nabbed the Munch Bunch at the parking lot, or the villa... I'm not God. I'm just holding his crayon. That's all. one more point, I'm not like the ones you've dealt with at home. Come on. I'll give you a lift, whereever you're going. Tell your fucking Minister, I clean up this city all by myself. That I defend the law in spite of the laws. Raising the rats against each other. It's an art rarely appreciated. Are you going to get me my medal? I'll tell everything! I can't go further on. Candy? Don't swallow the pit. one last detail you've missed. Mary... I tracked her down less than a year ago. I'm her father. Honduras, Salvador, Nicaragua, Pakistan, Libya! Albania, Egypt, Nicaragua: "War." "I often have this strange and penetrating dream of an unknown woman... "Whom I love and who loves me..." "Do not spoil this tender act of being or being not. "For I have lived up to our pact, awaiting heart is all I've got." "Wisen up, Pain, and hold still. "Were you demanding the night? It's coming down, at will." "Black air, envelops the city, bring peace to some, and to some the pity." He's been in there for hours with that bitch of his. Do you want to unbind him? He keeps the door closed, and says nothing. Try to shake him up, for fuck's sake, or we'll miss the big barbeque in the white city. You are the only one. And you didn't do anything. Léo, it's the Prince of Idiots. I was doing it in her sleep, but you woke her up. I did wrap the blade in silk. She's not hurting too much. Come! Do you want to finish the job? Mary... I love her. And me. - Do you love me? - Léo, yes! Speaking of which, she told me again that I made love to her like nobody else. Then she told me that it wasn't important. My father, my mother, you. Love. The same feet, the same toes, the same footprints. Footprints change with the sole of your shoes. The mud without marks, that's me. You're cold. You're warm. You're hot. You burn. You kill. Do you want to finish me? Don't piss about! Take off your sneakers, so they think we aren't here. I won't give her up to anybody. No. She belongs to me. If God made us, he would have made us different. The rats have made off. I'm offering you quiet on the Western front! Come on, what are you going to do all by yourself in this gutter? With me, you have a chance! You can all rot with her! This stare, not for me. I've got to see Him! Now I can't see a thing. Now you can see for real. At the end of a regularfilm, I'd go on a killing spree too. I'd be the hero. But there are no more heroes. Just the humiliated. Stop your bullshit. Let's walk out of here... barefoot. Made off, the rats, welfare! This is the end, my only friend. I won't have the lake. There won't be any real revolution. From now on don't budge! Hear me? Watch him. Save me. Take me. Any place you want. This film was inspired by "The Idiot" by Fedor Dostoevsky. It is intended as a homage to this great writer. English Translation: Daniel Bird and Andrzej Zulawski. Morena, get up on the dam. I want you to deal with the radio room. Come on! José should be ready by now. - Everything's fine up here. - OK. - Good morning. - Morning. José, could you come here for a minute, please? - It looks as if a whole army is rolling up. - These are just the supplies for the base. - Shouldn't we hold off on the attack, then? - No. How do you know that those bastards won't shoot when we show our faces? Plenty of people in the valley know that we're going to blow up the dam. - Why did you warn them? - Because it's them that I'm fighting for. Are you wetting yourself? Nonsense! - You'll be relieved in three hours. - All right. Soon, all hell will break loose here. Now. Watch out. That's Moreno over there. We can't hold our position much longer. Understood. Headquarters are going to send us helicopters. You should get out of here, with the other engineers. Attention! Calling position... We can go down now. Come on! The rope! Hey, careful. Don't shoot. It's me, José. - They've asked for reinforcements. - Smithy. - OK, I'll deal with it. - Show me what we have to do next. Can you see those iron girders down there? The inspection tunnel is on the same level. That's the most vulnerable part of the dam. The water pressure will destroy the rest. - It takes a long time to build one of those. - I don't care. Do you care that many innocent people are going to die down there? Why did he say that? He'd do anything to reach his goal too. - He's like a leopard. - Yes, intrepid and merciless. I wouldn't like to be his enemy. Hey, Jaime! The explosive has to be attached to the end of the girders, understood? Make sure nobody surprises us. I'll stay here. Everybody take cover! Hurry, Jaime! There's at least ten of them. They're in control of the dam. Wake up! I can't shoot without hitting our own men. Some of you must go to the other side! - The convoy mustn't go onto the dam. - Too late. Hey, look! Over there! It's the bloody guerrilleros. We can't hit them from here. Call the helicopter. Unit 47 to helicopter. Please respond. Can you hear me? - Loud and clear. - Those bastards are in control of the dam. Yes, we know. They've taken out the guards. We'll try to attack them from here. Please support us. We've got no heavy weapons. We must try to get closer first. Over. - What are you waiting for? Attack! - Hurry up! - Hurry up, Jaime. They're coming back. - All right. Why can't you throw hand grenades at them? We'll be above them soon. They're not going to enjoy this. They'll be here in a minute. Hurry up, damn it! Oh, my God! They've hit the helicopter! Is it bad? Can you get up? I need help! José is injured! Come on, we must get him out of here. Hurry up. Careful. Take it easy. Shit! Let's go - they've mined the entire dam! They're running away. Let's go! Come on! The whole place is going to blow up! Come on, get over there! Get away from there! Hurry up! Hurry up! Careful. - Dad! Dad! - What happened, Pablito? - I saw men with guns. - Were they soldiers? No, revolutionaries. They're coming to our village. - What do they want? - Let's wait and see. We are your friends. I hope you know that. We'll march on soon. All we're asking for is provisions and water. We'll rest a bit, and then we'll march on. My village is poor, but we'll share. I love these gushing receptions. Really charming. - Come on, boys, get a move on. - You always say the people are on our side. So why do they treat us like this? They stare at us as if we were animals. To them, we're no better than the government troops. If I were you, I'd alter my behaviour. Then this will change. This stuff will give you every disease in the world. - Shit, I've been hit really badly. - Nonsense, we'll fix that. This is madness. Who will benefit from us blowing up the dam? Put him here, but carefully. Why do we destroy bridges and farmers' houses and everything they own? You're an engineer, not a revolutionary. The commandante will know why. He might not know either. Do you have a smoke? We haven't got any dressing material, but there's a hospital in San Juan. They might cure him. There's a priest there who knows something about medicine. You know so much. It's kind of you to try to help us. If you take me with you, I'll help you fight as well. I always win at war games. I'm the fastest one when it comes to climbing trees. At war, climbing trees is the most important thing. He's right with one thing, Mariá. José has to be taken to San Juan. You should go with him. Jaime, Getullio and another man will accompany you. - But I thought... - No. Someone has to look after the injured. We can't take them with us. - All right. - Thank you, Mariá. I have a question. Do you love this country, your homeland? Yes, señor. Have you explained that we're fighting this war for them? Yes, I have, señor. So why are they staring at me as if I was a venomous snake? They're just watching you eat because they're not going to get any food today. Commandante! Commandante! What's the matter? I've intercepted a radio message. It wasn't even encoded. They're going north. So are Silveira and his militia. - And they've requested helicopters. - We're leaving right now. - Get ready. We're leaving. - Mariá will take you to San Juan. Helicopters! Oh, my God! Into the jungle, everybody! Hurry up! Take cover! The helicopters are coming! Hurry up! Get into the jungle! Into the jungle! - Hurry up! Run away! - I'm staying with you. Idiot! Do you want to die? Just drop everything and hide, for God's sake! We must help them. We can't stand by and watch. They're going to kill everyone. - We must do something, for Christ's sake! - We must go. I can't jeopardise our plan. I know you don't understand, but more people would die than those whom we can't help right now. I can't just stand by and watch. I'm going back to the village. Right, let's continue. Mum! Mum! - Dad... - Be quiet! Take him away from here. Come on, let's get back. Capitán, we've searched the entire village. There's not a single guerrillero among the dead. They've managed to escape. Once they're in the jungle, we'll never catch them. Those bastards are creeping away like millipedes. Carry on, but don't take any prisoners. My patience is nearly exhausted, Silveira. These leaflets are flooding the country. It is your job to prevent that. You employ an army of idle security policemen, and I find these on my breakfast table. If they reach the palace, I might find a guerrillero by my bed one night. - It's only a piece of paper. - Many nasty things have started on paper. - Who's behind this? - Ask your generals. - Benítez is getting impatient out there. - Ask him in. We both know that Carrasco is behind this. He's the only one capable of being a champion of the people. He is already a legend. He's being hyped as an immortal. You know what the people are like. Get rid of that guy. So, General, what unpleasant news have you got today? Another destroyed dam? I'm passing on a request from General Gómez. Out with it. What does he want? That's enough now. Do you hear me? Come on, off you go. Gómez is convinced he can beat the guerrilleros within two weeks, but in order to carry out this operation, he will need fuel for his planes and artillery. His pioneers are building a pontoon bridge that we need for our supplies. That would be a shortcut to Marbella. If we manage to create this link, it will be a vital step forward for us. Will it? All right, General, that sounds plausible. But we can't afford any more defeats. We're having difficulty financing this war. Anything else? I need additional troops. I have detailed two of my units to General Gómez. - We are too weak to... - Are you afraid of a bandit? I am a soldier. Please don't forget that. It would be insane to underestimate a man like Carrasco. Without reinforcement, I can't perform my duty. Señor Presidente, what about giving me part of the militia? - You can't have anyone. - Why not? - I need them to fix your mistakes. - That's enough now. That's enough. This won't get us any further. That's enough, Silveira. - I'll think about it, General. - Thank you, General. Señor Presidente. He's a coward, but he knows what he wants. And, most of all, he wants power. And you don't, dear friend? That will be them. All right. There's no need for me to worry, is there? You have inspected everything? - Read this. - What is it? What has Carrasco got to do with that village? - We'll claim that it was him. - And set the people against him. I see. Silveira, I don't care how you do it, but I want you to get rid of this man, is that clear? My dear citizens, we are living in difficult times. Once again, our people's enemies have shown their true, cruel, bloody colours. Their cowardly terrorist attacks only hit those they claim to be fighting for. If their true aim was political change in this country... - Pass the ball to me. - Come on, children, we must go. Hurry up. Come on. Run, run, run. Get into the car. Come on, hurry up. Doctor, are you really going to leave us? The guerrilleros will be here soon. They're killers. Haven't you heard the news? - I don't want to be here when they come. - They don't fight doctors and priests. These people don't know what a conscience or a God is. All they know is violence. If they come, they'll destroy this town. The militia would be just as bad. - I don't feel like dying. - You can't shirk your responsibilities. - You can't let the hospital down. - Padre, listen to me. I get paid for my medical services, not for heroism. Why should I stay? Just to cure a few sick people? You stay. Perhaps you'll be canonised one day. But I... I need my hat, not a halo. - Won't you reconsider? - You were a hopeless doctor, but you're a brilliant coward. The rats are deserting the sinking ship. But no great loss - he was hardly a scientific genius. I'll stay with you, even if all hell breaks loose. You're guaranteed to go to heaven. - If there were more people like you... - Stop it. I really don't know if I've pleased the Lord that much, but He might have turned a blind eye now and then. Padre Miguel. Look, they're here. Let's just hope that they won't harm the ones who've stayed. Padre Miguel, that's the guerrilleros, isn't it? - How could we forget about you? - Help me. - They mustn't find out who you are. - We should take off his uniform. Up here. We've got injured people out there. We need beds, a nurse, and most of all antibiotics. I'm sorry, but the doctor isn't here. He was scared. He fled. - And we've only got two vacant beds. - I need three beds. Jaime! - You can't do this. - This man is injured. Show some sympathy. - He's in the militia. - How cruel! - Get him out. - I'm not in the militia. - What's going on here? - Keep out of this. No, don't do that. In my hospital, we don't usually leave the injured lying on the floor. - Put him back on the drip. - Today, he's been lucky. But I won't always be here to keep our men back. It's my job to help people, regardless of their political camp. Does that mean you don't distinguish between victims and executioners? He needs an operation now. Do you have an operating theatre? Yes, but we don't have a doctor any more. If you could assist me... I can. I studied medicine. Our friend Benítez obviously isn't losing any time. Right. They'll soon be able to get supplies from the north again. He's a cunning old fox. I wonder how they managed to finish the bridge so quickly. We must blow that thing up. Look at that. Hey, that lorry was part of the ammunition transport. - Yes, we couldn't be more lucky. - There'll be some fireworks! All we need to do is attach the explosives. Hey, leave that bag here and go and meet Emiliano. Stop! Get out of the car! Come on, hurry! Listen. Please listen to me. I'm a doctor. I'm on your side. I'm on the president's side. I can tell you where the guerrilleros are. I saw them marching towards San Juan. We'll see about that. Call the Capitán. - Come on! - Hurry, over there. We need more material. Hurry up. You need to work faster, come on. Unit 3! There's someone lying there. Let's see if he's still alive. Careful. There's another one down there. Fire! There are even more of them! Come over here! I always come at the right time. Where's Smithy? He stayed down there. I lost sight of him. It all happened so fast. - Do you think he's dead? - If he isn't, I hope they won't get him. - Come on, get up there. - Hurry up. Come on. I wonder what your father would have said about this ruckus. - He wouldn't have been pleased. - Of course not. He didn't like revolutions. Still, he was like a brother to me. We always liked the same women, but never the same politicians. At least you don't take after anyone in your family. That was excellent. My compliments! The worst is over. One more day, and who knows what would have happened. I think you'll be able to get up again in a week's time. Give him some more morphine in an hour, but be careful with the dose. Wait a minute. Can't I do that myself? Don't be silly. I've been working in hospitals for 20 years. I've seen worse things. Thanks, Pablito. I don't believe it! You should know you can't smoke in a hospital. I'll go and relieve Getullio now. I don't think there'll be any trouble here for a while. You deserve a drink. Don't worry, it's not Communion wine. Cheers. It's strong, isn't it? The Campesinos distil it illegally. - Aren't priests banned from drinking this? - Yes, but some do worse things. - When will this insanity be over? - When we've succeeded. I'm really not opposed to your revolution, Mariá, but what makes me sad is that you use the same violence as them. So we should have a friendly chat with the president and ask him to step down? - Get some rest. - Who will relieve me? - I will. - Thanks. - Good night, son. - Good night, Padre. Hey, you've become friends. But who's won over whom? - We've both learned from each other. - All right. You could be dressed as a poor peasant and people would still respect you. That must be to do with your charisma. People believe what you say. That's because I'm convinced of what I say. Sure, but that's not all, you know. It also takes a lot of courage. I'm not sure whether you're overestimating me. I'm scared like everyone else, but I fight it. If we know what we believe in and love our fellow men, we will find the strength to fight our fears. Stop! Where are you going? To the hospital. My name's Rafael. I come here every week. But I've never seen you before. Are you González? - I ask the questions round here. - OK. I'm delivering medicine and food. All right. Throw the rope over to me. Come on, get out. Quickly. Be as quiet as possible. What a surprise! I studied in Fuente Nueva as well. I wasn't there for long. I studied for one semester and... Padre Julio! Come on, señora, I think one of the men is dying. Hurry up! I was about to change the bandage when I noticed he was unconscious. - Probably internal bleedings. - Yes. - Padre Miguel, I want to tell you something. - We must operate immediately. Prepare everything. Nurse, I think there's enough plasma left. Yes, I'll go and get it, Padre. Come on. You ungodly lot! How dare you threaten me with guns in the house of the Lord? You're protecting rebels in the name of your Lord. How many? We're not protecting them. They turned up out of the blue. Some were injured. What else could we do? They carry guns like you. You'd better be sensible. Being a priest, I'm sure you detest lies. Where are the rebels' guards positioned? You must promise not to kill them. Of course. Believe me, I never kill anyone unless I have to. Well? - We need... - The hospital is surrounded. Come out with your hands up. You have 30 seconds. After that, we're going to open fire. Resistance is futile. I repeat: Come out with your hands up. You don't have a chance. Come out. Go, go. I'll never do what that bastard demands. Give me a hand grenade. We might have a chance. - Tomás, have you got a smoke bomb? - Yes. Throw it out the door when I give you a sign. José, you'll be all right. They don't know that you're one of us. - Tell them we took you hostage. - Thanks for everything you've done. - Goodbye. - Mariá, you can't have a gun battle here. - Think of the children. - They will torture me, if they catch me. Tomás, now! Let's get out of here. Fire! What have you done? No! You gave me your word! Come on! There might be more of those bastards inside. No, you mustn't go out there. They'll kill you. Stay here! They're going to kill you! Leave her. She doesn't need a priest, she needs an executioner. Or are you trying to tell me that you hope these bandits will go to heaven? - Be careful. - I will be. Don't worry. Come on. Get them all out of there. - I hoped they'd catch Carrasco too. - We were told he wasn't among them. Too bad. But if they've got any captives, we'll make them talk. We've got the whole gang, Coronel. - Let me speak to your commander. - Be quiet. - You lied to me. You gave me your word. - What's all this shouting about? They were in that hospital over there. - There. - Have they been identified? - Some. - The corpses must be burnt. - You're Padre Julio, aren't you? - Yes. Have you got something to tell me? Yes, I would advise you to get out of here. - How many of them were there? - Eight. - Too bad that Carrasco wasn't there. - That girl out there is also one of them. - Coronel, I'm in the militia. - Calm down. You mustn't get excited. I know him. It's true. He was here before the guerrilleros occupied the hospital. His name is Gutiérrez. - You were lucky, my friend. - Yes, but if you hadn't come... You're not supposed to talk so much. Be quiet. This is José Grenada. He worked on the dam. They seem to treat their prisoners quite well. Did you hear them talk about their leader Carrasco on your way here? Think carefully. You must have heard something. Very well. I will never tell a bastard like you anything. Never! What are you waiting for? Keep calm. Don't panic. Nothing's happened. What have you done? Who did you kill? Is that all you can do - torture people, kill people? Padre! Padre Julio! - Say something! - It's better for him. This way, he won't notice when he dies. - Take him to the other one. - He's not involved. No! No, you mustn't do this! You mustn't do this! Leave him. He's a man of God. Let go of me! Padre Julio! - Padre! - Oh, God! Everybody get out of here! Help! No! Help! Help! No! - Let's get away from here. That's enough. - Help! Help me! Get me out! Help! Help me! Concepción, get out of here! Help! - Guerrilleros! - Get over there, everybody! Block that side! Take cover! That bastard won't get away from me. Hurry up! Take off! Enrique! They're trying to get away in their copters. We might still get them. - Why are they shooting? - We're safe, Padre. We're safe. A new magazine. Try to get into the hospital. Shit, we're trapped! Concepción and the others, where are they? They're... they're dead. Come on, hurry up! I think they're all gone. Enrique! They nearly killed me. That priest over there saved my life. Come on, we must flee before they come back and kill us all. You are Enrique Carrasco? You have to stop this madness. Hey, that doesn't look good. Make sure it doesn't get infected. - Héctor, the lorries. - Get these people to safety. When the militia return, they'll kill you all. I can give you one of our lorries. That's all I can do. - I'll drive these people away from here. - To the Promised Land? Is that what you're fighting for? I don't think you understand what we're fighting for. Let's move on. We're moving on, guys. We've got to get away. - Thank you. - We'll give them a lorry for their escape. Come on, get up there. Hurry up. - Mariá, Mariá! - Hurry up, get up on the lorry. - Hurry up, there's no time to lose. - Get a move on. Hurry! You too, hurry up. What are you waiting for? Come on. He's in there. Open the door. Why are you snooping around here? You're mumbling. We can help your friend escape. Someone we trust will handle that. - And who is he? - A member of the militia. Water. The president's men seem to consider your friend very important, so the price for his escape should reflect this. Silveira's men are corrupt? - Water. Firewater. - Very funny. Don't worry. The man is trustworthy. There won't be any problems. After his escape, we'll hide him here. As soon as things have calmed down, we'll take him to the cloister. I'll be there. Hey, guys, we have a new guest. Well, I'll be damned! If this isn't Smithy, Jaguar Carrasco's right-hand man. How does it feel to be here as a European who is paid for playing a revolutionary? Amigo, we're your friends. You look as if they've tortured you quite badly. Why don't you lie down? You can even have my bed. This is John. They haven't treated him well, either. They've pumped him with drugs. That's Alfonso, a journalist whose sole intention was to write about the truth. Joaquín, a poor fool who put up a banner in front of the palace. Come on, sit down. - How long have you been here? - A few years. You can get used to anything. There's light and air, and sometimes you even get food. Some go mad, others cope. You'll have to see which group you belong to. Just don't think too much. It's a great honour to shake hands with a friend of Carrasco's. We've heard about the dam. You really showed those bastards. This is Hidalgo. He fought in the underground once upon a time. Once upon a time indeed. I infiltrated the city, but some bastard betrayed me. I assume you haven't told them where Carrasco is or anything like that. Silveira and I aren't such good friends that I would confide any secrets to him. They'll wait for you to recover before they torture and drug you again. Watch out, they're coming. Come on, get into your beds. Hurry up. Gosh! Let's see what delicious food we're getting today. - Minced shit! You know I don't eat shit. - Shut up! Why don't you eat this yourself? Pigswill for pigs! I've had it with you! Who's a pig? Tell me. Who's a pig? - You're the pig. Say yes. I said, say yes! - Yes. Stop it! Are you trying to kill him? Come on, let's go. - Come on now. - You see how things work here. No jokes! - Come on, don't start again now. - Yeah, yeah. Hidalgo! Put him on the bed. Look, a message. - He was one of us? - Nonsense. He's particularly bad. - He demands a lot of money for this. - So, what does it say? They're going to let us escape tomorrow. And you're probably the reason why. That's insane! They would let us rot and die in here, but as soon as one of the Great Leopard's men turns up, everything's sorted. - Of course. They're afraid that I might talk. - Would you do that? I haven't talked yet. But it's not impossible. I'm a mercenary. I fight for money... not for my homeland. Padre Julio, what have you got for us? - Look what he's brought me! - Help me unload the truck, children. I want something too! You mustn't put yourself at risk by driving around just so we have something to eat. Who else is supposed to do it, then? - Have you found out anything? - Carrasco and his men destroyed a bridge. The supplies for the troops have been held up. Oh, and... I didn't need this. Give it back to the women. Oh, thanks very much. Little chap. You're looking much better today. Come on! - Did you hear what that idiot asked of me? - No, what? - I wasn't allowed to take any holiday... - Prisoners! They're escaping! Quickly! - We must get away! - What about John? Better him than us. Stop! Stop, or I'll shoot! Come on, let's get away from here. Damn, it won't open! - The parcel has arrived. - OK. Let's have a look over there. They're in there. - Why didn't the capo come along? - The town is crawling with militia. - This is Smithy. - Good work. Thank you. For you, no effort was too great. A tanker is going to take you out of town. - The north would be too dangerous. - I don't care about north or south. - All I want is to fight Ramírez. - Me too. Tell Carrasco we have heard that Ramírez is planning to visit this province. - When? - On Thursday. He will have half an army with him. No, he's taking a plane full of foreign industrialists, in order to show them that everything's quiet here. - Tell Carrasco that. - You can count on it. - OK, that's all. Are you ready? - I've never been readier. Take care. - Take care. Don't let them get you down. - I'll try. - Hey, thanks a lot for everything. - Good luck. - Get in. I hope you can swim. - Shit! What's in there? You've just said it. Shit, of course. Come on, don't be embarrassed. Corpses smell worse. What's the matter? I wonder if there will ever be a time when we can think of ourselves, Enrique. I'm sure there will be. We'll become two fat bourgeois and get bored. History's full of revolutionaries who've ended their lives like that. Yes, I can picture us sitting on the sofa, watching TV and nibbling nuts. Why not? People have always had the potential to change in horrible ways. Who in particular are you thinking of? You or me? Mariá, everything might be over as early as tomorrow, but I think it's been worth it. - There's Smithy with two others! - Emiliano, Smithy's coming with two others. - Yes, that's Smithy. - Are you sure? - Who are they? - We couldn't have found anyone better. - Is Carrasco here? - I'm glad you're back. - Yes, he's here and waiting for you. - We were in the same cell. I'm Hidalgo. Hello, Smithy. Is it really you or is it your ghost? Of course it's me. You know good old Smithy's body. Ghosts can disguise themselves. You scared us. This time I nearly died, but at a certain point I said to myself, "You're going to make it, because you want to be embraced by Mariá again. " If you should ever leave your Leopard, a scrawny European is waiting for you. With you, I'd end up as a tea-drinking landlady. - So you've cheated death once more. - As always. This is Hidalgo. He used to fight in the north. That's Joaquín. He wants to go and see his family. He's leaving today. - I hope you'll let me stay with you. - Sure. Go and eat something first. Good idea. Let's go. Now, let's talk about you. Go on, tell me what happened. What do you think happened? The usual. It wasn't pleasant. Listen, I know from a reliable source when and where Ramírez's plane is going to land. We've been waiting for something like this. - We'd have no problems at the airport? - No, I'll deal with that. The place will be teeming with soldiers. We'll never get close to Ramírez. You're not planning to shoot down that aeroplane, are you? - What else can we do? - You want to kill all those innocent people? I don't want to fight for our cause in that way. If we do something like that, we're no different from them. The other passengers are as bad as Ramírez. But they're not fighting the world. I agree, but sometimes you're forced to do things you abhor. It's either the death of a few innocent men or the suffering of a whole people. Hold on a second. The whole thing might be a large-scale trap. That's a risk we must take. There will only be three of us. I'll take Smithy and Hidalgo with me. We'll meet just before the operation. Any questions? Yes, one. From which point at the airport will we shoot it down? Only I know that. That way, none of you can betray our plan. Our friend Silveira knows many ways of loosening silent men's tongues. I know that all too well. - But what if they arrest you? - Then the plan falls through. They're at the gate. - That's definitely the president's car. - No doubt about it. The information was correct. Ramírez is here. - Can you hear me? - Loud and clear. We've received an encoded message saying that the plane will land on runway 3. I will disrupt the electricity at the end of the runway for 20 seconds. - Stand by. - All right. We must get to that sewer over there. If he doesn't manage to cut off the electricity, that's it. Exactly. That would be it. Sánchez Granstev. - Hello. I'd just like to check something. - Is anything wrong? No, everything's fine. There just seems to be a minor problem with the transformer. We'll have it fixed in no time at all. It will only take a few minutes. I'll go back to my post. He did it. Hurry up, we only have 20 seconds. Here it is. All right. What would have happened if he hadn't given himself away? This is a dangerous game. That's a passenger plane! Now the myth of Carrasco is finished. Damn it, Enrique, they're simply cleverer than us. They should have got them by now. Let's go. - We can't get through there in the Jeep. - I want Carrasco! Don't you dare come back without him! Over there! Find him! Find him! Enrique! We'll get you out of here. - Did you shoot the bastard down? - No. It wasn't him. - We were set up. - I knew it would go wrong. I sensed it from the start. Come on, we must get away. Help me. Hurry up, but be careful. They'll remember us for a while. Bastards! I've always wished for something like this. The bloody bastards! They mustn't get away. Come on, we must get to the other side. Step on the gas! Ah, yes, thank you. I'm glad I can show you our problems on the spot. - We've just received this radio message. - OK, thank you. Gentlemen, perhaps we should propose a toast to our president Ramírez. May our relations always remain as positive as they have been thus far. - Cheers. - Cheers. Thank you. ...images of the plane that was shot down as it was approaching the runway. There were 185 children aboard the plane, who were on their way home. Both the children and the crew died. Enrique Carrasco is held responsible for the attack. He was seen at the airport at the time of the attack. /t seems certain that he committed this inhuman crime... - What do you think about this? - We didn't catch Carrasco. He escaped. No one who has seen these images will help him. He's finished. - It's got stuck in the tree. - Come on, let's climb up. - I've got it! I've got it! - Come down and show it to us. Show it to us. What does it say on this piece of paper? Nothing important. They're asking the guerrilleros to surrender. They're supposed to surrender? How can they waste their time on such nonsense? - Carrasco will never surrender. - I read it. Why did you lie? Because I'm convinced that it isn't true. I'm not sure if I should believe it or not. I no longer know what he's capable of. - What makes you think he didn't do it? - It's too terrible, too incomprehensible. I don't believe that he is a man who would cause such a catastrophe by mistake. - Are you implying that? - Yes. Silveira. Not even a bastard like Silveira is capable of something like this. Why would they make Carrasco a martyr by killing him? No, Mariá. This is just what they needed. A stab right into the people's heart. Very good. In a few days, you won't feel any more pain. It barely hurts now. Thanks. - A total triumph. - You didn't manage to arrest him. How can you call it a triumph? It makes me sick to look at this burnt plane. - It could have been me. - So you know you've been lucky this time. - One more impertinence... - You've been lucky. Who knows how many more times you will be? Carrasco's back. - How many people died? - Have something to drink. Thank you. Welcome, Carrasco. Enrique! They don't know, do they? In Puerto and Timulcha, they called us criminals. People here should know about that as well. Padre Julio has kept the truth from them. They dropped leaflets from planes, but he said that it was nothing but bad propaganda, that Carrasco was supposed to surrender, that the Leopard was beaten. Leave them alone for a while. These men need to rest. Go back to your work. I'll go and get him immediately. - General, the president is on line 1. - All right. Thank you. - This is General Benítez. - We need to airlift fuel to the north. - That's impossible. - Why? During the blockade of Berlin, thousands of planes were employed. Of course, Señor Presidente, but we don't have any planes. Don't argue with me. Carry out my orders as soon as you can. - Very well. I'll do everything possible. - You better had. Excuse me, these are the new defence plans for the refineries. Thank you. ...plan 3 is to be carried out immediately. - Units 17... - They intend to break through to the north. - Yes, that was to be expected. - How are you going to prevent that? We only have a handful of men left. It would be suicide. Oh, yeah? If Ramírez's position in the north is strengthened, we can't hold out, whether we have 10 or 1, OOO men. The refinery will be destroyed. - Would you like a bite, Padre Julio? - First you must tell me where you got it. - Stealing is not a very nice thing to do. - Maybe, but it's better than being hungry. - Can I talk to you for a minute, Padre? - Sure, go ahead. Your food supplies are scarce, and it won't get any better in the near future. It would be a great risk for everyone involved, but if you do me a favour, I'll help you get these people across the border. I like that suggestion. - Tell me what your motives are. - We'll be honest with you. We're planning a coup. We want to destroy the Marbella refinery. That would be a great gain. All traffic would be brought to a halt. - Ramírez would be finished. - But Marbella can't be destroyed. - You've been trying to do that for two years. - I've got something I didn't have before. I suppose you know the story of the Trojan Horse. I don't know what it has to do with this, but I'm sure you'll explain. Think about who might be the Trojan Horse. It will be you. You know Marbella better than anyone else. You told Mariá that you were that garrison's chaplain for years. Nobody would suspect anything if you went to visit them now. I'm not sure if I can reconcile this with the priesthood. Can you reconcile the suffering of your people with the priesthood? No one else can make this decision for you. Lord, I hope You will forgive me. All right, I'll help you. Why are you doing it? Would you have dropped your plan otherwise? - No. - I knew that. These are old photographs of the refinery. You might know if anything has changed. We only have a small amount of explosives. We can't afford any mistakes. So that's what you studied engineering for. I might rebuild tomorrow what I destroy today. - Let's continue. - The chaplain goes there every Sunday. - He needs a special permit to get inside. - How does one get there? Only by tanker train. There's a small town with a station near the refinery. That's where the chaplain lives, and that's where he takes the train. /f you calculated exactly how long the train takes, you could blow up individual wagons wherever you want. Attaching the explosives is dead easy. The only problem is getting out of this alive. / see. Wait a minute. I think it's that way. Can I help you? No, thank you. You don't want to touch the consecrated objects, do you? Step back, please. The train is about to leave. Come on. - I've calculated ten minutes to the refinery. - Excellent. I hope the train won't be late. All right, my dear chaplain. Let's go. Hey, Padre Julio! How long have you been back? What a surprise! Are you going to keep us company? Tell us a funny story. - Will this wagon blow up as well? - Well, the bomb is close to it. Come on, we're about to leave. I'm really glad to see you again. - How are you? - I'm fine, and you? - Same old, same old. - Take my hand. - This is Padre Alonso. - Pleased to meet you. Why don't you sit down? What happened to Padre Aginaldo? The poor chap has appendicitis. We had him taken to Puerto Silas. That's why the bishop sent Padre Alonso. - I'm going with him to show him the area. - I'm sorry to hear about Padre Aginaldo. Please sit down. How do you like it here? It's a beautiful country, isn't it? - Yes. - Could I see your papers? - Oh, come on. You can overdo things. - I'm supposed to check all civilians. Certainly. Don't get worked up. There you are. - I'll be back in a minute. - Where are you going? To the radio room, to check everything. These militiamen are fanatical. They'd frisk their own granny. - We have nothing to hide. - But it's unnecessary. He's just a busybody who's seeing how far he can go. Who is he going to call by radio? The Holy Father? Oh, I'm sorry. Priests have a sense of humour too. Everything's all right. Open the gate. We're going to the depot now. We'll be there soon. - I'm sure it's hotter here than it is in hell. - It might get even hotter. Oh, I see, yes. We're nearly there now. This is the fuel depot. The refinery is a bit further down there. - Come on, let's get away from here! - Come on! Go back or the whole depot will blow up! The train has to get away from here. Go back! First, we have to get out of here. - We must get away as fast as possible. - Yes. Out of the way, damn it! We must get away from the fuel depot as quickly as possible. Hurry! See if you can find something to force it open. We can get out through there. It's really incredible that you got out, Padre. Come on, let's go. Almost a miracle. Come on, hurry up, everybody! Gómez has the situation in the north under control. This time the bastard won't slip through our fingers. This time I'll get him. This is where he was last seen, and this is where we will wait for him. Are you listening? What's the matter? Carrasco's trapped. He doesn't stand a chance now. He made a mistake. He is forced to cross the Cañonda Sierra. He's finished. Luck will be with you, as long as I'm with you. I shall leave no stone unturned to try and keep you in power. Everything's quiet here. No soldiers or militiamen. - And the people who live here? - They've fled. The bastards' last visit must have convinced them to find a better place. I'm picking up radio messages about troop movement along the border. All right. Drive on. - I'm sorry that we have to say goodbye now. - We'll meet again. - Goodbye, Mariá. - Goodbye. - Come on. - I want to stay with Mariá. No. You're going with Padre Julio. You're staying with him for a while. As soon as this war is over, we'll be together again. I promise. Come on, Pablito. - Goodbye. - Good luck. - Thanks. - Don't drink so much Communion wine. - We have a lot to do. - It might be a small regiment. They get scared when you say boo! They're cowards. Something must have happened. They were talking about Ramírez. It must be important. Listen for as long as you can. See you at the pass. All right. - I can't see Carrasco or his men. - They must have separated. There they are. They'll hit the mines any second now. The road is mined! Hurry up! Get on this bus! Come on! - They're going back. - Hurry up! We must get away from here! Hurry up! We must get away! Come on! Fire! - There they are. - They're coming. Attention! This is a message for Enrique Carrasco and his men. Don't shoot! I repeat: Don't shoot! General Benítez wants to talk to you. Attention! This is a message for Enrique Carrasco and his men. Don't shoot! General Benítez wants to talk to you. In order to avoid any further bloodshed, General Benítez has decided to negotiate with you. I repeat: General Benítez wishes to negotiate with Enrique Carrasco. Our soldiers have been instructed not to shoot unless they are attacked by you. Accept this offer. You are surrounded. You cannot escape any more. General Benítez has promised that no one will be harmed, if Enrique Carrasco negotiates with him. Every single word is a bloody lie. Not even a child would fall for that. - No. Are you crazy? - I believe him. Enrique! The regime has collapsed. Ramírez has left the country. He's fled? Yes. General Gómez is leading the provisional government. - He's guaranteed law and order. - And you believe him? I hope it's true. I'd like to tell you that I'm glad that we're meeting this way. I want you to know that I don't wish to be your enemy. Commander! Commander, the militia! They've stopped Padre Julio's bus. Guerrilleros! Padre Julio's bus has been ambushed by Silveira's men. We must hurry. - Come on! - The bus has been ambushed. Come on! Forward march! Hurry up! Hey, you! Help the women! Hurry up! Try to get into the church! Faster, faster! Run to the church, everybody! Hurry up! They could be here any second now! Stop! Stop or we'll shoot! Stay where you are! Stay back! Close all entrances. Anyone who tries to escape will be shot. - Get back, everybody. Come on. - Get back. What are you going to do with these people? Mind your own business, priest. - Father, what do these men want? - Begin. No. For heaven's sake, no! No! - You're insane! Bloody murderers! - Get back! Carrasco used you so that he could escape. - Come on, take out two more. - All right, Coronel. Get up! Come on! Get up. You must get up, Padre Julio. I'll help you. Take cover. There are two there. Come on. Please say something, Padre Julio. Stop! Who told you to kill him? Are we wild animals? We're not like him. He's beyond help. Mariá! Padre Julio is... He was here. A minute ago he was lying here. Padre Julio! We have won. The battle is over. There is a future again. The future... is yours, Pablito. Yours. - No, Padre! - Don't leave us. Don't leave us alone. What can I get you? Three shots. Scotch. For you and who else? It's all me. I became a father tonight. Across the street? That's where I was born. Salute. Kid got a nice mother? She's the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful woman I've ever known. Why? Well, 'cause daddy ain't gonna live long drinking like that. Hey, don't even talk to me like that, man. It's a celebration tonight, and I don't need to hear that. Robbie. Hey, Sonny. Tell me, boy or girl? I got a son. That's great, man. Let's go see the family. Why don't you have a drink with me first? The doc wants them to rest up for a little while. Everything okay? Everything's all right. Julia, she's just knocked out, though. She was in labor for 15 hours. You're kidding me. I'm not kidding. How's the kid? How's the kid? He's great. Black Jack. That's terrific. How much did he weigh? Eight pounds, six-and-a-half ounces. Wow! You got yourself a big boy. Come on, let's sit down. Here's to the family. Salute. I'm so charged, Sonny. I never felt this way before in my whole life. I know, man, it's a great feeling. I mean, things are looking up. This has got to be the beginning of some good stuff for us. You know? It's got to be. I'm so happy for you, man. Thanks, man. How's the club? It's great. I couldn't ask for anything better. I got more money than I know what to do with. That's the way it should be. Yes, sir. Oh. We're smiling. Must've been when we first landed. Yeah. You know who's in that picture? You and me. No. It's me... and the godfather of my son. You're kidding. That's what Julia wants, too? Yeah. What do you say? Yeah! You bet! Hey, let me get two more. And one for my buddy. Oh, man, you remember this? How could I forget it? Good times. Good times. Good times. Good times. Yeah. Hey, you wanna get your sidekick under control? Robbie, chill out, man. It's $200 if I gotta recover that table. You gonna pay for it? Yeah, I'll take care of it. Robbie, this isn't American Bandstand. Get off the table. Come on, man, you're disrupting this whole establishment. Hey, man, you know what's good for your health? Get off the table. Police officer, put the gun down. Hey. No problem. No problem at all. Lay it down, pal. Sonny, relax. Now this little guy didn't mean it, right? Robbie, let me handle this. Robbie! Back off. You never pull a gun out unless you're planning to shoot somebody. You got it? Yeah, I got it. Robbie. Ease off. You started this dance. He was stupid, you were stupid. Come on, let's just forget it and get out of here. Come on. Thanks, Sonny. Forget it, man. That's what I'm here for. Hey, I don't want to see you guys in here again. Yeah, we love you, too. Forget it, Annie. You don't wanna be in the music business. It's a jungle. Exotic dancing ain't exactly the United Nations. Neither is stripping. I got a great set of pipes. Really, I do. I agree. But can you carry a tune? # Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz? # # My friends all have Porsches # # I must make amends ## I need a singer, not a stripper. I'll have my agent call you. Sometimes it helps them if you pat them on the fanny. Oh, yeah? Thanks. You got a baby? Well, in a manner of speaking. His name's Noogie and I'm married to him. Baby's gotta be with his mother. How old is he? Eight months on Friday. I'm gonna give him a birthday present. # Happy birthday to you ## Hey. Hey. What's this I hear about a baby being back here? Don't look at me. Noogie's out of town. Mr. Nello, it's just for tonight. Please? I couldn't find a babysitter. Look, you've got 15 minutes to find one... and be back here in a tutu and on the floor. Cut her some slack. What the hell are you doing here? Babysitting. for those of you who don't follow the Nobel Prize, I'm Morty Price. But seriously, I would like to thank right now... Mr. Cannata and Mr. Doss for bringing me back to glorious Miami. In fact, I was so eager to come, I turned down a chance... to be an extra in Coma Part II. Not bad. What? Not great, but not bad. You ought to bottle his jokes and sell them for sleeping pills. I know it's hard to believe, I used to work in the stock exchange... till one of the brokers told me when my IQ hit 20, I should sell. I really appreciate you helping me out. This job is really important to me right now. Better cover those. You got husband troubles? Not anymore. I left him. It took me a year and a half. It wasn't until he tried to hit my baby Stevie that I left. A year and a half? You leave your brains in a box somewhere? He loved me. Oh. He told me so. He just hit me 'cause I'm ugly. You're not ugly. You got a place to stay? Yeah. I found a cheap motel across from the airport. Cheapest place I could get, but... two or three nights working here, I think I can get a good place, move out of there. And what if that bruiser comes looking for you? He won't. I talked to God at Kennedy Airport in New York before I left. He told me that I have to live for my baby. So I told him that I would kill anybody who tried to hurt me like that. I don't think God is going to let Danny come near me again. Dorothy? Yeah? I don't think it's gonna work out for you here. I'm gonna have to let you go. What? I'm sorry. It's just the way things worked out. Help me. What are you worried about? I've known Frank Doss and Mr. Cannata for years. I'll speak to them, I'll explain things.... It's gonna be all right. Thank you. You're a beautiful girl. You know that? That's what they love around here. They need girls like you. And with me in your corner, you're in like Flynn. Thanks a lot for helping, really. Good. That's nice. That's what I like to hear. I like to be thanked. No. I'm sorry, I don't want to. Come on. Get off me. Don't play hard to get. Get away. Get off me! I don't mind if you don't. Get back. Get away! Come on, we're gonna trade favors. Tit for tat. You wash my back, I'll wash yours. Definitely not a funny way to die. Crockett I though! t you were off. Since when has that mattered? Who's in the bag? Morty Price. The comic? He got a nice slice from a steak knife. Definitely not a funny way to die. That's what I just said. Where did he get it, right here? So why are we here? Johnny Cannata and Frank Doss own this hotel. Why would they kill a comic? I don't think they did. FBI has had them under surveillance. Price was involved with Cannata and Doss, very tight. Silent partner? We don't know. Let's go nose around. How was fishing? Rainy. Hi. Someday I'm gonna be wearing threads like that. Mrs. Noogman. Yeah, definitely his better half. Where's Miami's favorite mouth? I don't care. I got an agent. I'm a singer now. I ran into Annie downstairs. Said she saw a cocktail waitress named Dorothy Bain... head up here with Morty Price about 4:00 this morning. What's your connection with Miss Bain? We're acquainted. She's a sweet kid, Sonny. You'd like her. She's got a cute little boy. Yeah. I'd like to meet her. You know where we can find her? My lips are sealed. I checked with Dorothy's boss. She was let go last night, but on the application... she listed a motel by the airport. Thanks, Trudy. Where's the papers, lady? What papers? Come on, where's the papers? What papers? We can do this nice or we can do this not so nice, now. Where's the papers, lady? Come on, where's the papers? Freeze. Dorothy? I'm Det. Crockett, Miami Vice. Everything's okay, open up. Wait a minute, Dorothy. Hold it. I'm a cop. Dorothy! Crockett! Frank Doss was convicted of murder in 1943. Served 15 years. In 1960, became partner to Johnny Cannata. Las Vegas, Atlantic City. Now they're spearheading the drive for legalized gambling in Miami. They've been arrested several times, but never convicted. Morty Price has been with Cannata and Doss since they began working in Las Vegas. Dorothy Bain is the question mark. Except, we think we know why she might have killed Morty Price. Annie said Dorothy told her stories about... being beaten by her husband back in New York. That's what drove her and the baby to Miami. I called him there, he was no help. But I did find out from NYPD... that Dorothy tried twice in the past six months to have him arrested. Assault and battery. So maybe Morty wanted to have a little S8M party... and Dorothy wasn't up for it. And then Cannata and Doss order a hit... 'cause she snuffed out their old friend. Yeah, maybe a vendetta. Uh-uh. It doesn't add up. Yeah. Why would they wanna risk blowing a multi-million dollar shot... at a casino racket on a vendetta against a cocktail waitress? Cannata and Doss, we'll begin with them. Switek, Zito, I want video surveillance at Shelborne. Gina and Trudy, I want you guys to try to get jobs at the hotel. Crockett and Tubbs, Dorothy Bain. She's the key. Yup. You were supposed to get the papers... not start World War Ill. What? I don't wanna hear it. No. It's not their fault the heat showed up. It's your fault we're in this mess to begin with. You had to place bets with that jackass friend of yours, Price. Hey, have a little respect. The guy's dead. Yeah. So is our chances of turning this joint into a legit casino... if we don't beat the cops to them tally sheets. So they find them. Big deal. It's only names and numbers. Circumstantial evidence. They take to the DA... and the next thing we're having lunch with the grand jury, what? Okay. You can do anything you put your mind to. What would you have done if I wasn't here? - You don't like to talk much, do you? - You don't have that problem, do you? No. No, I talk all the time. I'm a flibbertigibbet. That's what my English teacher, Mrs Wilson, calls me. "Tillie Hansen, you are a flibbertigibbet." Sounds like a noise a chicken would make. Mrs Wilson kinda looks like a chicken. - How come you ain't screaming? - I am. You just can't hear me. - All right, that's enough. - One more stitch. - Don't argue with me. - One more stitch. Just tie that off. Pull it through. Tie it right there. Jeez! All right. Here, get... Just put that on. - Here. - All right. That's it. Come on, easy! Do it tight. What was that you were saying before to yourself, "You're one of a kind"? I sometimes hear my mother talking to me. Talking to you? Is she dead? Yeah. She used to say things like that when I was down about something. Here. Sorry. There you go. If I start foaming at the mouth, just shoot me, OK? Found something. - Here. - I lost my appetite. Have it later. Do you hear those wolves? They're all around here now. They're not going anywhere. They don't have anything better to do. - Will they come over here? - No. You did OK. It's good. I can understand your point of view. Now listen to mine. Someday the world will be entirely populated with bureaucrats such as you because real people will do away with themselves out of frustration. I myself do not want anything out of you. They do. They wanna be rescued. This is what they would say if they could speak themselves. - What's it look like? - There's a hole over the Tuscarora mine. - The whole front's breaking up. - Everybody go! Let's go! On the double! Well, at least the search is on. - Is that everyone? - One more. Stiller. He's bringing the mail from Pasco. He knows to keep his eyes open. Got about two hours of light left. What a mess. Then let's go down the cliff. - Why do you do that? - We can't make it, that's why. Those wolves are gonna hang around. Anyway, we were dead the minute the engine quit. - I didn't wanna say anything. - Why talk that way? - It's the truth. - It ain't. It's what you think'll happen. - You made a snare and shot a rabbit. - So what? I'd rather be trying things than sitting on my butt. All right. All right. Let's go if we're going. Take what you need. I was thinking more like a couple of sweaters. See? I told you I grew up with boys. Jesus. - Do you live by yourself? - Yeah, that's right. - Don't you have any friends? - None in particular. - Who drove you to work? - Where did you see him? Out the window of Mr Moravia's office. I don't miss much. That's Stiller, a guy I work with. - How about that woman? - What woman? The one that gave you the lunch. That's Rose, Stiller's sister. - Is she your pash? - My what? Your passion. I don't know. When you're... when you're flying all the time, you don't really have much of a chance with women. I think you hide behind that scar too much. - You ever do anything with her? - What do you mean, "do anything"? You know what "do anything" means. You're blushing. Your veins'll be too close to the skin. I've known people like that. I'm hungry. Hey! Hey! Wait a minute! - It's Stiller! Hey! - Hey! - Jimmy! Hey! - Hey! Hey! - Jimmy, over here! - Hey! - Hey, Tillie. - Dammit! - Did he see us? Is he coming back? - Forget it. - What's up? - Don't touch me! Don't touch me! - I didn't expect this to happen. - Yeah, sure! We've only got 50 yards to the bottom. Now, let's move. - Come on! - I can't move. - What? - I can't move. All right, let me look. It's probably broken. Great! - Here, take one of these. - What is it? - A pain pill. - I don't want it. - Shut up and take it. - I don't want it! Now I'll have to think of something else. We're going to lower you down. - How? - Go back to the wreck for some cable. - You can't go back up there. - I'll just have to. Just sit here and shut up. Can you do that? - It'll be dark soon. - You afraid of the dark? I was thinking of you coming back down. Hey, kid... I'm sorry. I'll get you down in the morning. - Did it look like an airplane? - Can't say for sure. - What can you say for sure? - It was a flash out the corner of my eye. It might have been wings, it might have been a couple of trees. Could you have gone back to make sure? It's pretty hard to tell one ridge from the other. Besides, I was running low on gas and worried about getting back myself. - Show me on the map. - Well, that was the other problem. My compass was messing up on me. I didn't know where I was. Not until I saw the rail line running into Baker, somewhere around here. You let your pilots fly without knowing where they are? The wind blew me down there. You can't always tell what the wind's going to do. You're talking about hundreds of square miles - and suppose you were wrong? You'd be responsible for sending everybody in the wrong direction. You were right to report the sighting. But you see the problems it caused. What do you think I should do? My wife. All right, sit by the phone. I'll call you if I need you. Now that I've seen your company in operation, Mr Moravia, I do not think much of the men you hire. I can see why you might think that, Mr Hansen. Stiller thinks mainly of his own ass. Anscombe has half a face. And myself, I have a leg made out of Philippine mahogany. Look around a little more, you'll find Probosky, my chief mechanic. He's missing three fingers due to a jenny propeller and an over-anxious student. Carson, that pilot you met, was shot down in the war, spent the night in a fox hole, and he breathed some mustard gas, which left him with one lung. All of us should have gotten out of this business a long time ago. The only problem is, in addition to being cripples, we're all addicts. Flying is all we care to do. Stiller. If I fire him and no one employs him - no one would, who has any choice... Stiller would wither and die... as we all would. As I would. Therefore, considering we are all cripples and addicts, I'm of the opinion we're doing as good a job as could be expected. If you have any complaints, take 'em to your congressman. While you're doing that, ask him for some more money. Some more rotating beacons. Twin-engine planes that climb over the mountains instead of going through them. Some radios so we don't have to spit into the wind to find which way we're going. Besides from that, don't tell me how to do my job, Mr Hansen. I don't tell you how to do yours. - It hurts. - I know. Take your mind off it. Think about something else, something nice. - Like what? - I don't know. Anything nice. How about that boy up in Seattle? There ain't no boy in Seattle. - There isn't? - I made that up. - Why did you do that? - How should I know? I don't know half the reasons I do things. The only boyfriend I ever had banged me on the floor of a caboose in a Western Pacific rail yard. - Watch your language. - That is the right language. Sure wasn't love. He promised he would take me to Reno. But he lied. Then my father found out about it and there was this big scandal. He decided to get me out of town as fast as he could. That's why I was in the mail plane in the middle of winter. That was OK because they didn't want to see me. I didn't want to see them either. Don't cry, Tillie, you're not the type. - Yes, I am. - Sh... Underneath. You're the one that called me a jinx. Yeah, but I took that back, didn't I? My father... My father told me I was spoiled merchandise. - That I was ruined for life. - You're all right. Somebody's going to snap you up, wait and see. You saw what happened in Boise. What happened? Didn't you see all the guys in the diner breaking their necks to look you over? - I didn't see that. - Sure. How often does a girl like you come into a place like that anyway? Now, you see, in the morning we'll take the old elevator down... and we'll be on our way. I wish it could have been you. It would have been better. You go to sleep. I think you should go back. Back where? He wasn't even sure where he was. - What if it was them? - He wasn't sure. You did the right thing. Let the National Guard go look. - It's what they're there for. - Ladies, would you mind holding it down? I'm trying to think. - What if it was my brother that was down? - Now, quit! I don't even want to think about that. - Edgar'd go after him. - You don't know that for sure. I think he would. You marry a mail-plane pilot, see how anxious you are to send him off in one. When the time comes, we all have to take care of each other. Nobody else will. You'd hold your breath every time he left and wouldn't let it out until he'd come home. I hate airplanes. I don't even know what keeps them up. They're made out of sticks and bed sheets. Why don't they just open up in two and drop Jimmy like a stone into water? That's right, Evelyn, you don't understand anything about it. You've never done it. You don't know why I do it. So would you please just hold it down and let me think? That's Capital Peak. Now, what's Edgar doing there? Easy. Easy. I'll give you another pill. - You can't carry me all day. - Don't talk with your mouth full. - You can't, we both know that. - I'm not gonna carry you. You should just leave me here. Go on ahead and if you find somebody send them back for me. Just when I'm getting used to you? - You mean that? - Yeah, I mean that. - What are you doing? - I'm going to make a travois. The thing the Indians used to use to carry stuff around in the wintertime. Pretty smart. Well, a pilot's gotta be. Put yourself down in a field someplace, it's up to you to get yourself out. National Guard de Havillands got out after problems with their plumbing. Why are you here? I didn't call you. - Been thinking it over, Mr Moravia. - That's always a good sign. It had to be them. I know where they are. I'll get back to you, Frank. Here, show me on the map. I figured I must have been around here. But I couldn't understand what Edgar was doing there. Then I realised, if he was fighting the weather, and wound up somewhere east of the mountains, about here, he'd have a straight shot over the mountains into Pasco. He must have took the chance that he had enough gas. You always take chances like that? If not, the mail wouldn't get through. - This is Capital Peak. - They must be on this ridge. About halfway down the big saddle, there's a clearing in the timber. What I saw must have been wings. Get the mail out by train. He'll take out number eight. Go as quickly as you can. You'll have company. I'm sending everyone up as soon as they refuel. - He comes through after all. - Yeah. Yeah. Maybe our luck is changing. Jim. - We could get married. - What makes you say that? I cancelled the letters out in our names. You ever do that? You write some boy's last name and then yours underneath, and you cross out the letters that are the same. If there are a lot of crosses, you can get married. A lot of ours do. I don't know, kid. I'm too old for you. I'm 31. How old are you? Almost 17. Means when I'm 21, you'll be almost 36. That ain't so bad. - Edgar, I have to pee. - God! How are you back there, Tillie? - Hey, I'm pulling. You talk. - It hurts too much. You talk. It's hard for me. I haven't had a lot of practice at it. When I was a kid up in Michigan, we'd go hunting. For three days we'd not say ten words to each other. Everybody just does what has to be done. - Never told you about my first instructor. - No. His name's Sloaniger. God, he could talk. He'd yell at me, scare me to death. I was all thumbs for a while, the way you are. Dammit, he stuck with me. You know, he finally sent me off soloing. I cried. It's true. Before, I never felt I belonged anywhere and my parents didn't bother with me. I kinda grew up all over the place. That day I was up there by myself and I was just... weaving through clouds and... I knew that I belonged... someplace. You know what I mean, Tillie? I don't think that... I don't think there's anything in the world that's more important than that. - Hey! What are you doing that for? - Because I care about you. Put that down. You can't make it dragging me. - You look like a jerk. - You know me. I'll do what I say. What is this, your mother talking to you or something? My mother's dead and we're here. You'll never make it if you have to take me. You don't want me anyway. Is that what you think? If you think that, then just do it. What the hell. Don't try to rattle me. Your father gave me 20 bucks to keep you from running, but if you wanna do that, that's fine. Blow your guts out all over the mountain. See if I care. Tillie, don't move! I won't get any further alone. If you hadn't been with me, I wouldn't have got this far. I would've sat down on that first night by the fire and waited for the snow to cover me over. Tillie... I don't wanna go back there without you. - Really? - Yeah. - Edgar. - What? What is that? My God, I think... that's a telephone line. Look, you just stay here and I'll be back as soon as I can. All right? I'll go see. Hey! Hey, mister, can I use your phone? Hey, who are you? - What are you doing? - I'm a pilot that crashed. Airplanes ain't safe. Airplanes ain't dependable. Look what happened to you. Put that down. That's railroad property. - Mister, I gotta eat something. - Put that down! You roach. It's been a home for me, man and boy, for 50 years. They still got a place for me on the railroad. Mister, I got a kid who's hurt bad. I gotta take her something to eat. - Leave it be! - I'll pay for 'em. You drop 'em. Now you get outta here. Take it easy. Just take it easy. You know you ain't gonna make it. Damn! Edgar! No! Help! Come on, Tillie, you can do it! Come on, guys! - Let's get out there. - I'm with ya. - OK, let's get her. - Hey, there's Edgar! Move the stretcher over here. - There we go. - I've got you. - Over here. - Let her breathe. - I got her! - Give her some room! - Watch your step, Edgar. - Come on down. - Daddy! - Don't talk. Everything is fine. You don't have to go anywhere you don't want to. I wanna go home. Daniel... and George. You really had me scared there, you know. Gently, boys. Edgar! Mr Anscombe, thanks. Sorry I never got her to Pasco. I wanna see Edgar alone. You are going to the hospital, young lady. I wouldn't argue with her, sir. It's not worth it. That's what people do when they love each other, isn't it? I'll never forget you. Go to the hospital now. - You'll come and see me? - I guarantee it. - Now I suppose you want some time off? - A day or two. Well... Take Thanksgiving. Subtitles by sdl Media Group srt by OIFa SELMA: Hi. BILLIE: Hey. -Hey. -Hi. Selma. Anybody got change for a 20? -Yeah. I've got two fives and a 10. -All right. -There you go. -Great. thanks. Whoa. whoa. wait a minute. Wasn't I supposed to get something in return? My undying gratitude. Uh-uh. Listen. I will pay you back as soon as my ship comes in. The ship that's been in dry dock since your IRS audit? I have got to get back in the black. Mac. Don't you people understand what's happening to me? Every time I pass my bank now I can hear the lnstateller machine calling my name and laughing. -So you need money for psychiatric help? MAC: Heh-heh. Harry. listen to this. I have a chance to get in on the ground floor of a condo conversion. If I play my cards right. my 2000 could turn into $20,000 by Christmas. I'm only $400 short of my goal. I'll take anything. a buck. spare change. -Loose fillings? -That's the spirit. Okay. fine. -What rhymes with perpendicular? -Why? No. that's not it. -No. Bull. I mean. why do you need one? -I'm writing a poem. -You? -Sure. been doing it for years. Well. let's hear one. -No. MAC: Oh. come on. Bull. -Come on. -Come on. okay- Page 29. ICLEARS THROAT] '"Forever Damp' by Bull Shannon." Lethargically, he trudges down [BULL MOUTHING WORDS] To the shore of the big wet sea [MAC STIFLING LAUGHTERI Sensing their fate of impen- -ding mud His feet seem to cry, "Why me?" -Where you going? -Doughnut. The slime rises to his ankle bones His mind flies far away IMUFFLED CHUCKLINGI To the time he missed the boat of life Hey, nonny, nonny neigh. ISPITS. LAUGHING] It was about me. -That poor guy. -Yeah. I better go find him. -It was the talking feet that did it. -Yeah. Think we've got trouble. Look what I found in the trash. Bull's notebook. Oh. So the world will never hear "At the Bai|iff's Jamboree." -Let me see that. -Mac. how could you be so insensitive? -Why did you laugh? -To prevent internal injuries. -Bail reports. -Thanks. Bull. Right on time. And in perfect order. Billie. look how neat that is. Yeah. I didn't drool on it or anything. Look. Bull. I'm sorry about what happened in the cafeteria. It doesn't bother me that you laughed at my rhyme scheme. You laughed at me. Oh. come on. Bull. that isn't you. You never missed the boat of life. Besides. there is no boat of life. It's called a metaphor. Harry. A literary device used to illustrate dissatisfaction with my current status in the cosmos. -Come again? -My life is poo-poo. Bull. we all feel like that from time to time. right? I mean. everyone wants more out of life. It seems to me like you've got it already. You're a judge. You stand for justice. You're a public defender. You stand for the underprivileged. I'm a bailiff. I stand. Kind of like cattle. Are you feeling any better? Moo. -What have we got here? -People v. Doris McKenzie. Your Honor. The Santini brothers are gonna take care of you. They're gonna break every bone in your body. Please. lady. would you quit hassling me? You're gonna get plenty when the Santinis get revenge. All right. settle down. Is it warm in here or is it just me? You're not alone. Don't usually see something like that without a yoke attached to it. do you? ICHUCKLESI I kid. ask anybody. What's the story. Mr. Prosecutor? The defendant. Mrs. Doris McKenzie. was arrested at Madison Square Garden when she stormed the ring and assau|ted-- The Klondike Butcher. Klondike here was engaged in a professional wrestling match when Mrs. McKenzie hit him over the head with a chair. -She almost killed him with that thing. -It hurt like the dickens. Jack Delman. Your Honor. Promoter. And I think this crazy broad should be put away. Look at how she scratched up his face. -It hurt. Jack. -I know. baby. I know. Why don't you try to do to me what you did to Little Caesar at the Spectrum? -You cheap-shot artist. -That's enough. Mrs. McKenzie. No. it isn't. This is for Caesar. beef lips. All right. lady. that's enough. Leave the poor guy alone. You're squishing my kidney. Oh. I'm sorry. lS| GHS] -Now you behave yourself. -Muck face. Cut the muck slinging. Mrs. McKenzie. That will be 10-day suspended sentence and a $50 fine. Selma. Come on. honey. Hey. haven't I seen you at the Garden? Yeah. I beat Tunney in 12. Come on. -Anything else. Mac? -That's it for tonight. sir. Then that's a wrap. See you tomorrow. people. Go freshen up and I'll meet you downstairs. okay? -Okay. -Attaboy. ICLEARS THROAT] Excuse me. Can I talk to you for a minute? About what? You know. nobody but nobody has ever had the Butcher off his feet before. -Hey. if I hurt him. I'm sorry. -Hurt him? [LAUGHS] Ahem. Listen have you ever thought of wrestling professionally? No. Ho. No? You're perfect. You're big. you're tall. you're ugly. Good Lord. man. use the gifts that God gave you. I'll think about it. Think about it hard and call me. Stars make $10,000 a night. And you are a star. ISNAPS FINGERS] -What did he want? -He thinks I'd make a great wrestler. -Oh.... -Ha-ha-ha. You. a wrestler? That's the craziest thing I have ever heard. Ha-ha-ha. I'm starting to like the idea. That's what I meant. it's crazy but I like it. Bull. I know you're a little upset about this poem thing. but-- He said I could make $10,000 a night. Ten thousand dollars? Ten thousand American dollars? Well, Bull, you're not serious about this? You know, you people always assume you know what's best for me. Well, I'll tell you something, you don't. Maybe it's time to shake up my life. Bull, you don't just become a wrestler overnight. It takes a lot of time and training. If you decide to take up wrestling, you're gonna have to quit your job here. Now, I want you to take some time and really think about this. okay- I quit. Oh. He's not serious. Well, I mean, he'll cool down and then he'll change his mind. I hope he's wearing boxer shorts. [WOMAN SCREAMSI Briefs. This is ridiculous. Bail reports don't just vanish into thin air. Bull has been gone a week and this place has already turned upside down. Yeah, and it doesn't just stop with the paperwork. It's open season on us in the courtroom. Well, word's out on the street Bull's gone. Somebody's gotta keep order around here. Well, that's Dirk's job. Hi. everybody. ALL [IN RESIGNED VOICE]: Hi. Dirk. -Bail reports. -We thought they were lost. Sorry. there was a holdup at the Xerox machine. -Something get jammed? -No, a real holdup. -And you got involved? -You bet. Gave him my wallet. Oh, there you are. -Parole forms. DIRK: Thank you, Selma. I'll be in the court. Fill the room with your presence. Bye. ALL: Bye, Dirk. -Boo. DIRK: Aah! [LAUGHS] What a mealy worm, huh? [DAN CHUCKLINGI -You sure seem chipper. -Why shouldn't I be? Just this afternoon, I found a benevolent and wise man who had the vision to loan me the final $200. -What did you hock? -My mother's wedding ring. -Dan! DAN: Ha-ha-ha. I'm just kidding. It was just her engagement ring. So why all the long faces? -We miss Bull. HARRY: Yeah. Nobody to carry the heavy files. Or walk us to our car at night. Hey. wait a minute. Listen to the way we're talking. All we care about is how this affects us. We're supposed to be his friends. Let's back him up. I mean, maybe he's made the right decision. That's a lot of buffalo chips. No, Selma, I think Harry's right. We've gotta support Bull. We can't let him know how we feel. I will not participate in this charade. The man is making a fool of himself. Somebody should tell him. All you have to do is have the guts to stand up to him and say, "Bu||...." I'm behind you all the way. you big Greco-Roman nut, you. Heh-heh. Thanks. I knew you'd come crawling back here where you belong. -I just came back to clean out my locker. -You should clean out your head. -You know-- -Hey. Bull, good to see you. You too, sir. So. Bull, I guess you've been at the gym pumping things, huh? Yeah, they keep us pretty busy. I just came back from body-slam class. Do they grade that pass-fail or is it on a curve? There's a few things I would like to know-- -Yeah, like, when's your first match? -Next week. -I've got passes if you're interested. -Interested, are you kidding? -He wants to know if we're interested. -Wouldn't miss it. -Oh, boy. MAC: Ha-ha. Selma? I'd rather eat linoleum. What's with her? -Well, she got some bad news. -What? Uh- - The Dodgers left Brooklyn. Say, that is bad news. Yeah, yeah. Well, I gotta get back to work. You go get them, tiger. ICHUCKLESI ISNORTINGI Bull, Bull, Bull. Aah. ICHUCKLESI -Break a leg, big guy. -We're supposed to. ICHUCKLESI So. uh guess you're having the time of your life, huh? Yeah, going to Akron next month. Wow. Be sure to hit that tire-tread museum. [LAUGHING] You don't think I'm doing the wrong thing, do you, Harry? Listen, as long as you're happy, Bull, that's all that matters. It's your big shot. You gotta take it. Don't look back, we're behind you. Do your own thing and- - And-- And stuff like that. Well, I guess. we'll see you next week, huh? I know you won't let us down, big fella. DIRK: All rise, rise. Criminal court, part two. city of New York is now in session. [MOUTHING] Now in session. -Honorable Harold T. Stone presiding. -Honorable Harold T. Stone presiding. [CROWD BOOINGI [MAN GRUNTINGI Mandinka. I am Mandinka. I am king. IMANDINKA GROWLSI Do you realize that you came this close to hitting me out there? Gosh, Ed. I'm sorry. -I'm really miffed, Alan. -My mind wasn't on it. I was thinking about that Donahue Show I gotta do tomorrow. He's ruthless. Ed. Ed.... BILLIE: No, I don't want- - No-- -Just look at him. When they dragged him out, his face looked like a pizza. Come on, come on, he's right over here. Look at him, he's fine. Hi. toots. -Hey. you're not allowed in here. -We've got passes. -We're looking for Bull Shannon. -Who? He's a big guy. Kind of weird-looking. All right, let's have your attention. Gents and ladies, meet the next wrestling champion of the world. IWHININGI Hey. you promised me I'd be champ next. Don't get bitchy, Ed. [NORMAL VOICE] I'm sorry. I've been on the edge lately. This new fabric softener isn't working out at all. All right, here he is. Bull, the Battling Bailiff. Ta-da. Well? What do you think? Spiffy, real spiffy. It's the first time I ever bought off the rack. Bull, it's almost time. Boy. is this great or is this great, huh, Bull? Center ring, 20,000 screaming fans. This has to be the greatest night of your life. Where's Selma? Oh, traffic out there is so bad and-- She's not coming, is she? No, Bull, she isn't. Bruiser, you're on. -How do you feel? -Like I'm gonna throw up. lGAGS] All the great ones do. Bull I believe it was the Apostle Paul who said that: "Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen." Now, go out there and rip his lips off. MAC: Go get them, Bull. -You can do it. Whoo. Did you see that arena out there? Twenty thousand drooling maniacs at 12 bucks a head. -We're going to be rolling in it. -We? Yeah, I dumped that whole condo scam, I put all of my money into Bull. I'm his syndicate, 25 percent off the top. -Does he know that? -No, Delman and I made a deal. Look, what the hairless wonder doesn't know can't hurt me. -You wanna look at the carnage? -Yeah. -No, I am not going out there again. -You can watch it right here on TV. What? Great, great. Keep an eye on my investment without having to sit with the riffraff. Ha. ha. [CROWD CHEERING OVER TV] Been playing with the knobs, haven't you? Look. Look, there he is. Wow, they love him. Crowd's going crazy. ANNOUNCER [OVER TV]: Ladies and gentlemen, here we go. Introducing on my left, weighing in at 245 pounds from Vatican City, the Choirboy. [CROWD BOOINGI [H| SS| NGl Excuse me, they're booing a choirboy? They hate his guts. He stabs guys with his candles. And his opponent in the opposite corner tonight, making his professional debut weighing in at an even 250 pounds, the Battling Bailiff. [CROWD CHEERING] Boy. what a moment this is for Bull, huh? They love him. I'm getting chills. -I'm getting nauseous. -I'm getting rich. Come on, I told you it's all an act. There's nothing to it. It's all fake. See? This isn't real wood, it's fake. [BELL RINGS OVER TV] There's the bell and we're under way. Come on, Bull. Come on. -Pulverize him. -Use your footwork. He's not moving. [CROWD YELLING, BOOING OVER TV] Come on, Bull. Do something. The Battling Bailiff has yet to come out of his corner. -You're very calm about all this. -It's all part of the act. No, this isn't in the script. Wait, wait, he's moving. I told you, it's a sure thing. The only way I can lose is if he left the ring. He's leaving the ring. Bull, what are you doing? I could have burned the money. It would have been quicker. It's that kind of performance that gives this game a bad name. [S| GHS] It wasn't fulfilling. It wasn't fulfilling? Ha-ha-ha. It wasn't fulfilling. It wasn't anything! We don't want any violence in here, do we? Go ahead, kill me. I don't care. It must be from a factory... or someplace where the fire is burning quantities of oil. That direction... that would be the factory owned by Mac Bain! Mac Bain? Do you mean the famous aeronautical engineer? If I remember right, he's the favorite to win the world aircraft championship. A race that will be held in Holland sometime soon. My late husband really admired him. Oh, I do hope everything's all right. Well then. Why don't we have a look? How terrible! Where is Mac? Is Helen safe? Ma'am, it's too dangerous! Stay back! Stay back! We are acquaintances of Mac. I am Sherlock Holmes. Pardon me, sir. Please stay here, Mrs. Hudson. Mac! Helen! Let me see... How could this have happened in an empty factory? This is it. Someone must have knocked this over. No! It's not here! No! It's not here! My engine! I've just completed it! It's gone! Please stay back, Mr. Mac Bain. It's too dangerous. The engine was just completed? No... It can't be. The efforts of a lifetime have been... We understand how you feel. Mac, please get a hold of yourself. Chief, one of our fire trucks has disappeared! That's impossible! Keep looking! I made some hot soup. Please have some, it'll make you feel better. You're welcome to stay here if you'd like. Thank you very much for your kindness. Oh, dear, I don't think you should give up just because the engine... No! There's no hope whatsoever. It's all over! Your wife is correct. I think it's too early to give up, Mac. Spare me your empty words of comfort. I am giving you no such thing, sir. I am saying that I can help you. Have you found a clue? Is that...? It can't be. This was left at the scene of the fire. I believe that this scrap of cloth is from the cloak of Professor Moriarty. Moriarty? An odd little man who fancies himself a criminal genius. So, he stole the engine... Dear...! Please help them, Mr. Holmes. Ouch! Ouch! What the devil is this? An engine? ! Who would dare drop such a filthy old thing out of the sky? ! That's Moriarty's aircraft Pteranodon! Did he intentionally drop it on me? After him! Give chase! Go! What a wonderful engine! With this, there's no doubt that I will win the world championship. I knew that we couldn't win with the engine that the Professor built. Did you say something? Uh...well. Nothing. Out to sea? Where are they heading? "The judging committee has approved the entry of a mysterious aviator..." "Mr. Black Eagle, who had been petitioning for some time..." "to be allowed to participate in the race." A mysterious aviator? Look at this face! Who else could this be other than Moriarty? He is going after the prize of 1 00,000 crowns, Moriarty, that fiend! Trying to win the championship with a stolen engine... that's thoroughly unforgivable! Mr. Mac Bain was always so kind to my late husband. I would like to do something to help him in return. You look very nice. I promise, I won't get in your way. In any event, I've already decided. Well... Well...uh... Right... Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up and get us to Holland! I will capture Moriarty with my own hands! Well, well. Mr. Holmes, your reputation precedes you. Welcome to Holland. In terms of this Mr. Black Eagle, we've discussed whether we should... accept his entry or not. However... However? Have you heard the old story from medieval times? Where a mysterious cavalier came out of nowhere to participate... in a joust and won the title? So you're saying that you accepted the mysterious pilot's entry... in honor of that cavalier. Yes. But, Moriarty used foul means to... Do you have proof that Mr. Black Eagle is Moriarty? No, but... Never mind the issue of proof... I will never allow his wrongdoing to succeed! -How do you see the outcome of this race? -How confident do you feel? Thanks to the absence of Mac... I now have great hopes of winning the title. What about Black Eagle? I've never even heard of him. So it may safely be said that I will be the one to win the championship. What's that? Mac! So you are going to participate in the race after all? Yes, this is the prototype of my missing engine. I had kept it at a friend's place, so it wasn't destroyed in the fire. It may be not as powerful as the other one, but I'll race with it. Good luck to you, Mac. I'll do what little I can. You're right. Let's do our best. Am I in time? It's really a fine day for flying, isn't it? Has Moriarty appeared? No, not yet. Please take care of Mrs. Hudson. I'll fly with Mac. Right. Finally, the moment has come for me to show the world... that my "Crow" is Number One! Here! Here! I can't wait to see who's going to win the championship. Are you ready, Mrs. Hudson? Yes. How strange! He still hasn't appeared. Oh! It fell apart! Oh, my god! This is Moriarty's doing. There he is! Hey! Here we go! You won't get away from me! Wait! Here they come! What a fantastic engine I have stolen! It works perfectly with my beloved 'Crow'! Dirty rats! Here we go! You, get out of my way. How paltry! Here we come! Stop that, stop that! You won't get away from me. You coward. Oh, I'm coming apart! It seems that we're the last two planes left. What? ! Here I come! When it comes to technique, I can hold my own against anyone! Get down! How swift he is! If that's how you're going to be, I'll just come to you. All right then, commence Mrs. Hudson's basket operations. Would you like some tea? And, here's some dessert as well. Good job! Here I go! Look out! Right, right! You... Go! Go get him! No. What's your problem? ! Now, go! Hey, let go. What...? ! No! Holmes! Where are they? Where did he go? ! Professor Moriarty. So Holmes, we finally make the time for our final confrontation. I will settle my accounts with you right now. Sure thing! Just look! You have no escape. Holmes! That's the spirit, Mac Bain! It can't be...! I'm sorry that your engine is... No, it's all right. I can always make a new one. I'd rather lose my engine than seeing it misused by a villain. This is it. Here I go. I do this and this, and then... Professor, here we come! Oh, no! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Wait! He has the devil's luck, indeed. Did you see that? Two planes are leading. Mac's and Hudson's. Everybody's here. Dear! Helen! Here. Congratulations on your victory. Congratulations, Mac. Thank you very much. I owe my victory entirely to your kindness. No, it's due to your excellent engine. Or perhaps to Mrs. Hudson's lunch basket. Oh, that may be right. I wished I could have asked Professor Moriarty how he liked the dessert. I bet it was the bitterest cake he had ever tasted. Ouch... Shall we raise our glasses? Cheers! Professor... we completely blew it, didn't we? Moriarty's mechanical dragon attacks a speeding locomotive... and they steal a parrot that belongs to one of the passengers. Meanwhile, Holmes finds out that there's a relationship... between the parrot and Indian merchant who's gone missing. What will the parrot tell us? If you find yourself in a mystery, please come see us at Baker Street. Game of Wits! Parrot vs Professor Ladies and gentlemen, did you hear? Get them, please, get off the plane. Mrs. Dexter... Look, look, she's just had two very long flights. If you would be patient- It's all right, Dex. They're just doing their job. King Galen will be coming off the plane any minute. Could you please stand back and give a little room? How is he, Mrs. Dexter? And where's Prince Michael? - Prince Michael is on the plane with His Majesty. Now, he's unconscious and he's still very sick. - How did you get him out of Moldavia? Did you pay the government? We issued a press release when we changed planes in New York. You should have that information within the hour. - Look, here they come. Please stand back. Clear the way. Please stand back. Alexis told me once when we were married: "Blake, there is nothing on this planet that I can't do, including the impossible." I guess she proved that to the world, hasn't she? Darling. Like your mother, there's nothing that you can't do either. Now, things are going to be easier now between you and Michael. You should have the kind of a marriage that you deserve, a good one. My beautiful daughter and her fine, upstanding young man. Things will be happy, Daddy. Doctor? That's interesting. Why would Blake Carrington want you to see a doctor? For a very obvious reason, Joel. I've been playing that I have a headache so I won't have to perform my wifely duties. So he doesn't realise I'm not his darling Krystle. He's sick and tired of your headache, sleeping alone and feeling lonely. Exactly. Rita, why don't you go to the doctor? All you have to do is pretend to take whatever pills he gives you. It's like back problems. You can't prove a headache. Well, suppose he wants me to take a blood test and mine doesn't match your aunt's, then what? Then nothing. Her blood will match perfectly. I should know, I'm her doctor. - You? - Me. This is perfect. Don't you see? Either one of you? What are you talking about, Joel? I've just cast myself. I'm going to be playing Krystle Carrington's good doctor. This is the chance I've been waiting for. My chance to get into the house. What better way than to be a specialist she's asked for on the advice of a friend. Oh, no. No way. Things have gone too far already. Don't tell me, Samantha Josephine, you want to go to a lawyer, get the money and run, now. That's exactly what I wanna do. You have no sense of timing. I have sense enough to know- You know nothing because if you did, you'd realise that that money cannot be transferred all at once. It's gonna look overly suspicious. How many times do I have to tell you? The play must be performed one act at a time. How many times do I have to tell you that the longer we wait, the more chance we have of getting caught? She's right, Joel. - I don't wanna hear from you, Rita. - Why not? Because any decisions to be made are mine to make. Mine. Is that clear enough? Mommy. Mommy. - Thank God, you're all right. - Oh, darling. Oh, yes, we're fine. - You were extraordinary. - Oh, all in a day's work. Welcome home. Well, I really must congratulate you, both of you. I guess the words "brave" and "daring" are appropriate. - Thank you, Blake, we appreciate that. - Yes. Oh, Alexis, I'd like to talk to you for a moment, if I may. - It's rather important. - Oh, yes, of course. - Excuse us, darling. - Sure. Dexter, I haven't said it before. I will now. I think your courage was admirable. And I have you to thank for saving my father's life. Now, I realise the great risks you took, and I'll always appreciate it. I'm glad I was able to help, Michael. And that we all got back safely. Well, there is one more favour I'd like to ask of you. That being? From now on, stay away from my wife. Michael. Look, whatever you're thinking- My suspicions are groundless? - Yes. - Good. Then it will make it that much easier for you. You know something? This conversation is for the royal birds. If you'll excuse me. Michael, why did you do that? Oh, my God, Amanda, isn't it obvious? No, it isn't obvious to me. Well, how do you think I feel when you throw your arms around? Prince Michael, I have some good news. Your father has regained consciousness for the first time. - You may see him for a few moments. - Thank you. I'll see him alone. Michael. My son. They told me you were safe and well. And I am, Father. As you will be. So very well again. It is permitted for you to cry if you wish, Michael. We're all alone here. It was so very hard for me to think that you were dead. It was very hard. But it is all over, my son. Tell me. Tell me about your beautiful bride. Are you happy? Oh, yes. I'm very happy. Amanda is wonderful. She's a wonderful wife. Ah. That's good. That's good. Alive? Fallon's alive? Yeah. She's at Jason Colby's house in Los Angeles. I flew out there, I saw her. God, Blake, I can't believe it. Oh, I can't. Our daughter is alive. Yes, but there's- There's more. - She's- - What? She's suffering from amnesia. - Amnesia. - Yes. She didn't recognise me. She doesn't remember anything. I've got to go to California to see her. She'll recognise me. - Oh, she won't know you. - I'm her mother, she will. No, listen to me. It was one of the worst moments of my life, one of the most painful. When I stood in front of her after all this time, she had no idea who I was. Oh. Oh, God, she's- She's ill, she's in trouble. She needs me, Blake. No, damn it, no. We've got to follow doctor's orders on this. She is in very fragile condition. Now, she's not to be pushed, not under any circumstances, is that clear? Not any. All right. I won't go. Good. Good. Thank you. But we have another daughter who needs help. Now, Amanda's been going through a terrible time. And I haven't been much good in helping her solve her problems. She needs your help, Alexis. She needs you. Mm. You didn't eat the turkey sandwich I brought you last night. I know you must be hungry. So I... I've prepared a protein drink and a wonderfully nutritious salad. Looks good, doesn't it? Doesn't it? Yes. You look pale. - Do you have a fever? - No. Let me see. Watch what you're doing. Damn it. I don't have time to change. It's getting late. - Are you going out? - Yes, I'm going out. Where? Well, let's just say I'm... I'm going to make a house call. What does that mean? That's my business, Mrs. Carrington. Just as I want you to make it your business to clean up that mess. And to eat something before I get back. Hello. I'm Dr. Travers. Yes, please come in, you've been expected. Why, thank you. Anna, please take Dr. Travers' coat. Thank you very much. Mrs. Carrington? Yes. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. I've seen your picture in the paper from time to time. They don't do you enough justice. But I'm sure you've heard that more than once. Thank you, doctor. And thank you for coming to the house. Oh, it's a pleasure, ma'am. I'd like you to meet my niece, Samantha Reece. How do you do? Pleasure. Likewise. Doctor? Oh, forgive me. I was just studying that oil. It's magnificent. I think everything about this house is going to be magnificent. Bad news? What kind of bad news? About my record company. Someone is buying up large blocks of stock in my company, and I don't like it. When did all this begin? Immediately after your party. When you announced the pipeline deal. The brokerage house that is handling the deal is located- Don't tell me. It's located in California. Los Angeles, to be exact. Were you able to trace down who it was that was buying up that stock? No. No. I haven't been able to find out anything. It's Jason Colby. Now, he knows that you're part owner of Denver-Carrington. He's trying to buy up that stock to gain a controlling interest in your company. So he can drive a wedge between the two of us. And then what he'll try to do is position you. So that you have to side with him on anything at all relating to that pipeline. Doesn't surprise me. Doesn't surprise me one damn bit. - Thank you for telling me about it. - Oh, well, I hope it helps. It does, it all helps. Well, I'll talk to you later. - Dominique, good morning. - Good morning. Oh, could I see you in my office for a minute, please? - Of course you may, Adam. - Thank you. - Please. - Thank you. Dominique, you know Jason Colby's chief counsel, Garrett Boydston. I knew him once. No, thank you. Well, I need a complete fix on him. How he works, everything. A personality and career dossier. Yes. I'm sorry, Adam, but I am not in the dossier business this season. Look, anything, any little thing you can tell me will help. I've got to work with him, and at the moment, I'm flying blind. I am no authority on Garrett Boydston. You'll just have to find your spy elsewhere. Dominique? I didn't mean to strike a nerve. No, you haven't struck a nerve. Oh, for God's sakes, Adam, I knew the man briefly. Is that it? Or is it because it's me asking? It's obvious Blake's told you he's disinherited me. I assume he's also turned you against me. Adam, darling, it has nothing to do with you. I did know Garrett Boydston a long time ago. That part of my life is over. That book is closed. And I never re-read an old book. Sorry. Mary had a little lamb Little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb... Claudia. What are you doing here? We're having fun, Mommy. - It's true, Sammy Jo. I was just in the neighbourhood. And I thought I'd stop by and see a little boy that I love very much. Oh, do you now? Well, don't try and get too close to my son, you hear? Danny, go see Marie and go play downstairs for a while. But you'll come back again. - Promise? - Oh, I promise. The fact is, Sammy Jo, that we're already close. We got that way when I was married to Steven. - While you were- - I was what? Too busy bumming around to take care of your own baby. You, a fugitive from a sanatorium, calling me names? Well, you're not Mrs. Steven Carrington anymore. And you no longer have the right to drop by for any of your little visits here. I happen to be Mrs. Adam Carrington, and I will come and go as I please. Don't try and give yourself Carrington airs, lady. A wedding band on your finger doesn't mean anything around here. You're still a nobody. Oh, that is wonderful coming from you. Who came from nowhere and married Steven for his money. And then was willing to sell her own son. At least I loved him. You're wrong, Claudia. I'm the winner here. And I always have been. I'm a rich woman with my own power. And I don't have to live off other people's handouts. Poor Claudia. That's all you've ever been around here. In case you didn't know it then, you know now. The painting on the staircase was just the beginning. I hear the paintings in the west gallery alone are worth millions. Modiglianis, Riveras, Monets, Manets. Princess, don't you see? We're sitting on a gold mine. It's more like a mine field. We've got to be patient. There's a whole lot more for us than Sammy Jo's inheritance. Patient. Are you crazy? I can't keep coming up with headaches. What am I supposed to do? Sleep with him. I'm only asking you to do it so that you can have the success you deserve. Every bit of it. Blake Carrington's a very smart man. He'd know the difference. Not if you control yourself. Just joking. Now, don't be upset. I thought you loved me. I'm sorry, it was- It was only an idea. Bad idea. You're right. Sleeping with him is too risky. Anyway, I want you for myself. Believe that. Oh. L.B. What are you doing here? It's the man's birthday today, and that kiss was his present. That damned kid. He follows me everywhere. What if he tells somebody about what he just saw? That is a problem, isn't it? Well, why don't you just see to it that he doesn't? Mother. Welcome home. Adam. Mm. I can't tell you how proud I am of you. And happy to be working together again? Yes. Oh, what have we here? For your signature. Yes, the pipeline deal. Well, I'll just have to look these over and then I'll sign them. So you and Claudia got married. Blake doesn't approve. I hope you do. Oh, there's bound to be friction between you and your brother. I feel no animosity toward Steven. If there are any problems, they won't be of my making. Adam, I want you to make this marriage work. And if that sounds like an order, it is. Steven. I heard you were here. I thought you might like these copies I had made. What are they? Papers on the pipeline deal. Mother signed them a little while ago. Thanks. What else brings you here, Adam? Frankly? Something's been bothering me, Steven. A lack in you, let's say. What kind of a lack? You've never congratulated me on my marriage to Claudia. What's the matter? Don't you approve? It's not for me to approve or disapprove. Well, surely, you must have some opinions, Steven. I mean, you did abandon Claudia to run off with your boyfriend. His name was Luke, and he's dead. And I don't want you to talk to me about him with anything but respect. You understand? As for my abandoning Claudia, she and I have come to terms with that. And I really don't want your opinion on that subject either. Well, I should think you'd be happy for her. At least now, she has a real man in her bed. I know what you're trying to do. And it won't work. What you and Claudia do is your business. I don't wanna hear about it, I don't wanna know about it. So much for congratulations then. Adam. My congratulations to you. My condolences to Claudia. - Hello, darling. - Claudia. - You look radiant. - Oh, thank you. You must have had at least four job offers since this morning. No, job hunting is a thing of the past. This came when you left the house. Listen to this. "This is to advise you officially that you've inherited the oil well titled Blaisdel-Lankershim One at the bequest of Walter Lankershim. Your late husband's partner." It's incredible. Congratulations. Now, have you decided what you're gonna do with your money? Aside from buying me an extra Ferrari or two. But I don't even know how much is involved. I know there's a lot of it. I know what I'm gonna do with my independence though. Nobody's ever going to treat me like Claudia, the poor relative again. I'm gonna use it. - And you know what, darling? - What? - Oh, I'm so happy. - What? I'm gonna move back into the house with you. Because now, I'm an equal to the Carringtons. To any one of them. You know something? We're both getting what we want. Claudia, the dream is coming true. Here, we can talk in this office. Thank you. Now, you've seen the CAT scan, doctor. Yes, I have, Your Highness. And I'm setting up additional studies. You see, apparently, the king's condition wasn't caused by a bullet. But rather by the fall he sustained when he was hit. And if that's so? Then we call it a flexion injury. And there's a chance for surgery, and there's also a chance that the paralysis won't be permanent. But I'm afraid to say anything more until I see the studies. Now, you'll have to excuse me while I set up the studies I'll be working on. Thank you. Alexis. How can I ever thank you? First of all, for getting my father out of Moldavia. And now, the finest medical attention possible. No thanks are necessary, Michael. I did it for Galen, but also for you and Amanda. You see, it means so much to me that you and my daughter are happy together. Give her a little time. And I know that she'll really appreciate you. Well, Alexis, I hope you're right about this. Oh, I'm always right about everything. You'll see, you and Amanda are going to be very happy together. The staff is very pleased you'll be here with the family again, madam. Oh, thank you, Gerard. Thank them all for me. Would you send someone to La Mirage to pick up the rest of Mrs. Carrington's things? Yes, sir, right away. Welcome home, darling. Darling. Steven. Hello, Adam, Claudia. It's not just "Claudia" now, Steven. She's Mrs. Carrington again. Mrs. Adam Carrington. What's the matter? Do you wanna see the licence? We wouldn't wanna do anything illegal and embarrass the family. I hadn't expected you to move back here, Claudia, if you wanna know the truth. Hadn't expected? Or had hoped not to see us so happy here in Father's house? Excuse us, Steven. We're going upstairs, to bed. - Amanda, I think it's time that we faced a couple of facts. Facts, you're having problems with your marriage and you need help. And you're prepared, I suppose, to offer that help since it was you who encouraged me to get married in the first place. Amanda, you love Michael and Michael loves you. I think you should try and work it out, for better or for worse. Just like you did with Daddy? Your father and I had several wonderful years together. And we have four children to show for it. You know, I've never told you this before, but I tried very hard to make the marriage work. And when we finally got divorced, something died inside of me. Now, you and Michael have only just begun. To fight. You and Michael have only just begun your marriage. You know, you may be my daughter, but sarcasm does not become you. Don't throw away a wonderful relationship before you've given it a chance. Such good advice, Mommy. But who are you of all people to give it to me? You, who wouldn't even claim me as your daughter, all those years I was growing up and really needed you. Where were you then? Do you know I'm sick and tired of your pathetic little Oliver Twist routine, your poor-little-me act? How dare you give me that I wasn't there as a mother when I was every step of the way and I reared you fit for a prince? Dancing lessons, singing lessons, tennis lessons, French lessons. I paid for them all. And I couldn't afford it because I wasn't Mrs. Colby or Mrs. Dexter then, but I was the exiled Mrs. Blake Carrington. Well, that was my kind of mother love. So stop feeling sorry for yourself, Amanda. Get your act together, or you may find that your prince has flown to greener pastures. Do you have to go? I'd better. Now, remember, you're sick, under the weather. Blake Carrington isn't going to force you to lie with him, biblically speaking, while you're not feeling well. Which takes care of a couple of days. Except that Blake Carrington is a very loving husband. Oh, I know, a true paragon of caring, I'm sure. Well, he is, Joel, I mean, he'll be worried if I was sick for long. Don't you worry. I've got everything under control. Here. These are barbiturates. Now, if he starts to get amorous, slip him one of these beauties. He'll be so drugged, he won't be interested in anything except sleeping next to his wife. Good, because I don't wanna blow this. About those pills, they're doubly strong. I don't want you to use them on him unless you absolutely have to. Is that clear? Blake. Hello. Hello, darling. I'd like you to meet Dr. Travers. - Doctor. - Pleasure, Mr. Carrington. Doctor came very highly-recommended. Well, that's good to know. I'm happy I had the chance to meet you. Pleasure. Doctor, would you please tell my husband I'm fine? Well, yes, to a certain degree, your wife has a low-grade infection. Certainly, nothing to be alarmed about. But what she needs now is good old-fashioned rest. I'll see to it she gets plenty of that. Would you excuse me for a minute? I have to talk to Mrs. Gunnerson. Doctor, are you quite sure that she's all right? I mean, shouldn't she be in bed, resting? Oh, don't worry, sir, I've given her some antibiotics. She should take it easy, but bed rest isn't absolutely necessary. By the way, do you mind my asking, how are you feeling, sir? - Why, I'm fine. Why? - Nothing. It's, you know, none of my personal business, but professionally, I know how you corporate types neglect regular check-ups. Right or wrong? Well, unfortunately, you're right about that. Well, you certainly look in excellent shape, and I'm sure you are. I know you have a regular trusted doctor. But if you ever want a second opinion, I'm available. Well, I'll remember that. Thank you very much. My pleasure. Danny. He's not here, Uncle Steven. You're looking awfully serious, L.B. I guess. Are you feeling all right? Uncle Steven, is Krystle mad at Grandpa? No. Krystle loves Grandpa a whole lot, you know that. But I saw- There you are, L.B. I've been looking everywhere for you. Hello, Steven. Hi, Krystle. Mrs. Gunnerson just made you a big chocolate milkshake. So you wanna come downstairs with me right now. Krystle, is there anything wrong between you and L.B.? Well, of course not. Well, it's just that L.B.'s taken on a new habit, Steven. He's begun to lie and tell little fibs. Oh, I know it's only because he misses Jeff. I only hope it's just a phase he's going through. I'm sure it is. It's probably best for us just to ignore it. Ignore it. I guess you're right. I know you're right. Tell me, Mr. Wales, are you still doing your hatchet jobs for World Finance Magazine? I won't quote you on that, Mrs. Dexter. Oh, please do. And please be sure to include that I really resent my PR people having set up this interview. And that you have precisely three minutes of my valuable time. - Well, then I'd better get to the point. - Yes. King Galen. What about him? My research tells me that you were once romantically involved with him. Is this interview for a financial magazine or for one of those trash magazines that's sold at the supermarket? Well, there is a correlation here. The pipeline. Now, you own one quarter of the oil leases but you skipped the announcement party to go off and rescue a deposed monarch, at the risk of your own life. Now, I and my readers would like to know why. And I believe that that is none of your or your readers' business. You see, but it is. See, it is because- I mean, here is Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter, a bona fide tycoon, willing to put a king, and one without a country, before her own empire. You'll just have to draw your own conclusions about that- Is there some allegiance between you and the king? Has he promised you something the community should know about? - This interview has just terminated- - Has he offered to make you queen? Your three minutes are up. Fine. Because you've just told me what I came to find out. What you think you know is merely assumption. And I'd like you to stick this up your little tape recorder. I am a happily married woman, a very happily married woman, and I intend to remain so. You're sure about that? Oh, yes, I'm very sure about that. And now would you please get the hell out of my office? Glad to see you've started to eat again. You've been gone a long time. I had business to do. Did it have anything to do with me? Maybe. I have a right to know. Have you sent the ransom note to my husband? My dear lady, the less you know, the better it's gonna be for both of us. Especially for you. Don't leave. Please. You mean that. Do you? I just wanted you to know that I read the books that you brought me. Ah. What did you think of them? I liked them. What I could read of them. It's so dark in here. It isn't easy to read. No problem. I'll bring you another lamp. Anything else you want? Do you think I could have a television set? Smart. You think you're pretty damned smart, don't you? What do you mean? You think your kidnapping will be on TV and you can find out what's going on. I'm not thinking that. Well, it won't do you any good. It won't help you get out of here. I've thought of everything. And you won't be going anywhere. We'll see about the television. All right? I'm very pleased that you like Dr. Travers, darling. I did too. Well, he said he'd stop by in a couple of days to see how I'm feeling. Good. And I will tell you exactly what he's going to say, that your husband is taking very good care of you. I'll be right back. - What did you do? - Oh. The antibiotics Dr. Travers gave me. Let me help you. He should've given me clumsy pills instead. Better take this before I forget. - Gerard, I'll be coming down for breakfast at 7:15 tomorrow morning. Tell Mrs. Gunnerson it will be the usual. That's right. Thank you. Good night. Oh, here, darling. Oh, thank you. To my beautiful wife. Alexis. It's late, very late. There's nothing more that you can do tonight. Let's go home. I want to stay here, Dex. You're tired. You can come back tomorrow. Yes, I know, but I want to stay and talk to Galen's doctors. Even if it means spending the night? Yes. Don't you think you should be at home? With your husband? Darling, I wanna go home with you. But I can't until I know the results of those tests. Alexis, I don't understand it. I mean, what are you doing? Are you still choosing between me and Galen, with me in second position? No, Dex. I love you. Oh, God, we went through hell to rescue Galen. Can't you understand? Can't you try and support me like a husband should? I find it hard supporting my wife's apparent love for another man. Wrong tense. I loved him once. But I'm frightened for him now. Mrs. Dexter, King Galen is asking for you. Thank you. And I'm frightened for us, Alexis. I'll see you later. Hello, Galen. - Alexis. - Mm. I was so afraid. But not for my life. I thought I might not ever see you again. No. Here I am, larger than life. And you're safe now. Your life is safe here, Galen. This cursed revolution, if it hadn't happened, I would never have let you leave Moldavia. Shh. You mustn't exert yourself. No, no, I must say this to you. We were meant to be together. My people would have adored you, as I adore you. Galen. Don't waste your time thinking about the way things might have been. The surgery is dangerous, I know, but I am determined. - I will walk again. - You will. I will get my country back. And I will make you the most powerful woman in the world. What do you mean? Galen. What do you mean? His Majesty has ordered this... Hello...? I'm Dagaioh pilot candidate, Kasumi Yamagata. I'll do my best to become a great pilot like Kuya. I'm fortune-reading elementary student, Kaori Tsukishiro. Here's the preview... You'll see some traditional arts in this funny story! Next, on Great Dangaioh... Tune in for "Costume Confusion! The Shipwreck at Sea"! Um... oh... What's wrong, Kasumi? You've got to be strong! I know... So, you've finally come to. But, you're not the one, either. I'm... not...? Rest assured. You won't have a thing to worry about. It is unfortunate but, another one of our students disappeared last night. We have requested the help of the authorities who now are conducting a thorough investigation. I'd like to ask all you students to be on the alert... All the ones who've disappeared were athletes, right? Yes. Yesterday, it was the captain of the tennis team. You might be the next target of the kidnappers. That's ridiculous! When you have that look in your eye, I know you're scheming. Uh-uh. Who's planning to capture the kidnappers? See. You are! Why, the shy little guy's waiting for her? Huh? For who? Do you plan to get her alone by saying... "It's a little dangerous, so shall I walk you home? " No, uh... but... What, were you going to invite me along? Sorry, but I have other plans. See ya! Go straight home! Shall we go? Uh-hmm... Straight home... Yeah. Sure. You kidnappers...! You're under arrest! These guys are clearly well trained... Welcome! Huh...? ! Welcome... May I take your order? Actually, I think this is all you need! See ya! W-What do you want...? You lose! Yikes! Over there! I can't read this stuff! Come and get me! Shall we get down to serious business? Won't you tell me what you did with the girls you kidnapped? We should be arriving in Hunan Province about... So, we got no reply from the Foundation before departure. But they've agreed to a conference. Doesn't that mean they are interested in the proposal from you, Commander? They'd better be. Huh? Aren't villians dressed like that supposed to be easily defeated? Thanks! You saved my life. Why were you being chased by them? Well, I was just using them to pass the time. But... is it really okay for me to come in here? This ship's fine. Here. Go on in. Welcome home. Is that a friend? Welcome home...? This ship belongs to Mother. Ohh... How do you do? Make yourself at home. Thank you... Thanks for the tea. You're lucky to spend so much time in foreign countries! Not really. I'd rather live like you. What do you mean? You probably fight on the front lines for world peace, don't you? Yeah. For world peace... How did you know that? Oh... no... Y-you...! Yes. You're right. You're the one responsible for the kidnappings at our school. I knew the Dangaioh pilots were disguising themselves as students at Ho'o Academy. My cell phone...! We didn't know who it belonged to. What about the other girls? Don't worry. They're precious goods. I wouldn't harm them. Goods...? But you're special... What are you going to do with me? You're going to become my puppet. Puppet...? You plan to brainwash me? What's that! You're responsible for this? ! What are you talking about? Go take a look! You're not...! Hurry! An android...! Don't think you can get away, witch! Wait! We've got to get out of here. Who the heck are you? Duck! Ohh...! The kidnappers...! The kidnapper is Midorikawa, the owner of this ship. We're getting out of here. I'll take over from here. You, no good robot! Looks like you need a spanking. Very nice! I told you you needed a spanking. This food battle is over! So long! Enter the Dragon! My fist is deadly! Adios! My name is Chidou; first name, Hitomi... You messed up my performance! This is no time to dawdle. W-what's going on? How dare you destroy my daughters! You're not thinking you can leave this ship alive, are you? Ugh! You look awful! Damn you! Laser...? I 'll give you some, too. Here you go... Kuya! Damn you! Make it quick, Kuya! I'm not letting you get away! I guess it's time for the star performer! Dimension Code: Disengage Protection Mode! Kuya! Quit dawdling! Bout Dimension! Dangaioh...! Give it to her! Flame Arrow! What are you doing? ! She's just a big old goblin! Let me at her! You can't get anywhere firing blanks! Here's what you get, you old witch! I'll leave the rest up to you, Kuya. Cross Tornado! Luxury liners have long had a tendency to sink... So that's how it all ended, but it seems that old witch was a spy for some country that dealt in slave trade. And who were those men chasing after me? Secret police...? ! You should have told me! It was a spur-of-the-moment decision. Someone else forgot his cell phone before, remember? I see... Because of you, I had to be tailed by these blokes. These blokes...? I'll forgive you this time. It was sorta fun. So long... Be sure to tune in next time! Hi, I'm the quick-change artist, Hitomi Chidou. In the next episode, you'll meet a dirty robot who claims to be a support robot. Saying he's under orders from Headquarters, he makes us do things like take off our clothes! Plus, we face an enemy who comes from outer space... and he's god-awful strong! Tune in for "Shooting Star from the Sky" on the next Great Dangaioh. Oh, I'm so mad! What awful weather... Send that file to Saga of the Stats Division, first. Yes. You'll get the details when the Commander returns. Huh...? Kuya... Ohh... I... Who is it? ! So, it IS raining... Huh? Oh, dear... What's wrong? There! Hello, hello... Hello. Huh...? The Middle East, Europe and the Communist Bloc...? They never give up. They can't help it. They don't have a grasp of the whole situation. It's no time to be following old dreams. Exactly. All things are in flux, and times change. Just as horse-mounted peoples linked East and West, and great nations that ruled the seas linked the world, it is our duty to expand the world. This Foundation is here for "war" and "revolution." You understand that, don't you, Yonamine? I understand. Shall we get into our main agenda, Yonamine? What is the suggestion you have? Please have a look at this... A support robot? Yes. I am the ESR-M48 cognitive robot, Romlin. I was bui;t to assist the Dangaioh pilots. Have you heard about this? I'm in Maintenance. I don't know much about the Development Team. Here is my certification. Since Dr. Kazamaki's busy, I am here today to give you three a physical. How can you call that a physical? ! That was nothing but sexual harrassment! I check not only your physical capabilities, but your attitude towards your work, as well as how you express yourself. I find it extremely insulting to have my actions labeled as sexual harrassment. I am a neuter, and do not possess any sexual appetite. Do you feel it is harrassment when you undergo an X-ray or endoscopic exam? If that is the case, you are laughable. You rotten robot! Penalty! Penalty! Any resistance will be viewed as negligence of duty, and will result in a penalty. Do you understand? D-damn you...! Do you understand? Okay, okay! I will look forward to your cooperation. Ms. Hitomi, your brain waves show agitation. Please relax. I am! Would you like to take a tranquilizer? Shut up! Please remove your clothes. Why? Isn't this good enough? Remove your clothes quickly. You lecherous robot! Okay, okay... Your bra, too. Huh? Do not remove your socks. Huh? ! For the person I love... I guess. Who could she have meant? What's wrong? Yikes! W-Wha...? What...? ! You had a frown on your face. Worried about something? Well, this physical is so unexpected... It's strange that it's happening when Dr. Kazamaki's away. I know... But Ms. Tamahara did check on it... The Commander probably has his reasons. Is that so...? It's a pain, but... We've got to do it. Hey! Wait a minute! What's with that string? Don't touch me there! Penalty...? Why do I have to pose? Stop it, I said! Follow his orders? ! Are you serious? You can't call that a physical! Wait! I haven't finished talking! Listen! Dr. Kazamaki...! Why are you so calm? There's no sense in fighting what's necessary. No way is that "necessary"! Did you forget something? He said I was done... in two seconds. That rotten robot! Penalty for Ms. Hitomi... Fifteen years ago... Thought I'd find you here... Don't you have work to do? This is a part of my job. What do you mean? It's fine to affirm one's position... but left to your own devices, you're the type to brood, you know. It's true that she may have been the one who changed your destiny... But if she hadn't come, it might have been the end for you of everything. You can't help worrying, suffering. But you have many people depending on you now. Don't forget that. Yes... I guess so. I'll kill him, I'll kill him, I'll definitely kill him! I kill him, I'll kill him... What are they doing in there? --Say...! --What! You numbskull! What happened in there? I won't tell! But, what if something terrible is happening...? Why don't you go and have a look? I can't...! I 'm kidding! You gigaton fool! I can't stand it! Hold it! You can't go in there! Hold it, I said! Oww...! I-I'm sorry...! Hey! Yes? What's that? The new pilot suit. New... what? It was developed using the data collected from you all. Special magnets sewn on the inside stimulate the nerve endings of the wearer activating and improving the efficiency of your battles. W-Wha...? Please put on your suit too. Pictures of you in the suit will be sent as file footage to the Development Division. Penalty! Penalty! Penalty! Penalty! Penalty! Do whatever...! I don't care anymore! No! Calm down! Of all times...! What's wrong? The enemy? It's never felt like this before. They're coming at last. The unidentified object has crashed at Narita Airport. It is still emitting light. 82% of the enemy's makeup cannot be analyzed. What in the world is this adversary? This is our true enemy. Our true enemy...? I'll explain later. Can Dangaioh be deployed at once? Yes. In another 30 seconds, it will be loaded onto the Saber Sonic. It will be ready to go in 140 seconds. I'll be there in 50 seconds. Clear Route 7 for my arrival. What's happening? I don't know. I only know that the temperature is rising rapidly. Vice-Commander... We have no data, this time...? N-no... We know so little of its makeup, power source, armaments that we can't draw any projections. And so... um... I'm sorry, please switch off the monitor. I had no time to change. Listen to me, everyone... This battle will be like nothing before. Anything can happen. But... Come on! That's enough talk! I'm itching for a good fight, today! I don't care who it is. I'll cream him! I wish you the best of luck. Let's go! We'll join forces and clobber him! Roger! Bout... Dimension... Dangaioh...! Think you can get away with this? You bunch of space trash! Flame Arrow! No...! What... What's going on? ! Why doesn't he fall? The Flame Arrow doesn't affect him. What do you mean? He seemed to absorb it. Dangaioh's attack doesn't faze him...? Burning Blow...! Good! Burning Blow is out of control... Stop it! It's too dangerous. What is that thing? Condition indicators dropping... The three of them are unconscious. Prepare the shock pulses! Put all your efforts into the pilots' life support systems. So, this is the power of our enemy...? Shock pulses set! Shooting now. It's no good! There's no response. Raise the voltage. But that would endanger the lives of the pilots! N-No...! Double... Burning... Crash...! So, it was the pulse that Romlin sent out that awakened them? All data concerning the stimulus points for arousing the pilots have been inputted into me. Then why didn't you awaken Kuya? Well, uh... Oh, Hitomi... Job well done... Well, I guess it's thanks to you we were able to win today. I'll let you off the hook today. Thank you. Did you really think you could go scot-free? ! No! That's unfair! Can this be allowed to happen? You know... Dr. Kazamaki and the Vice-Commander say they know nothing about you. Uh-oh...! You tampered with the call when I made the check, didn't you? Uh... er... tampered...? Isn't it time we all went home...? I heard they were planning something like that. But when the prototype was made, too many problems cropped up, so the project was halted. Then who...? A shadow stealthily approaches Agwarda! What are the secrets hidden in the lowest levels of Agwarda? What are YOU doing here? ! You were trashed! I was resurrected... After all, I'm a series regular. A regular...? ! Don't miss Great Dangaioh: "Sneak Attack! The Sword of Shadow" Humph! I'll destroy you as many times as I need to! Don't run away! Hold it...! Penalty! Penalty! Penalty, Ms. Hitomi! You sure you want to do it now? Yes. But things are starting to heat up now, so it may be too risky to talk to her. And that's why I need to do it. Now, as our true enemies draw nearer, we need her help. All right... Don't worry about what may happen. Do what you need to do. The heavy fog that has set in over Okinawa Prefecture and the Amami Islands continues to hover after 4 hours. All flights into Naha Airport have been cancelled until further notice. Ryoko Sugi... Boy, this is so degrading... Well, too bad. We need data to fight "Exceptions," so quit complaining! "Exceptions"? What's that? Remember it's the general term for all enemies from space? Whatever... They're just a bunch of space robot monsters, right? Oh, you... Who cares? What I wanna know is why I'm out here alone! ? Where's Kuya? What's he doing? Flail and Burst are currently getting a tune-up. It wouldn't have killed them to come up with a more creative new weapon, you know. Tell that to the Development Department. Who? I've never been there nor met anyone from there! Neither have I. It's a highly confidential department. I hear only the Commander and Vice Commander have come in direct contact with them. If they can't trust us, who can they trust? All clear. This just in from Slain. It's currently flying 200 km off the waters of Futagami Island. Visibility is poor, but nothing is being picked up on the sensor. Eyeball sensors No. 12 to 29, no movement detected. Sorry, I'm late. Be careful now. Yes. Just as I thought... There are too many factors that cannot be analyzed. Here are the possibilities... The surface became mirrored and deflected the heat... or it put up some type of field that altered the direction of the attack. In any case, we need more data than what we have from Narita. If only we had more samples... But we should do what we can for now. You're right. Enough complaining. Right! Analyze! Analyze! After all, that is our job. I see you're on a 5-day rotation here. Nothing shows up on eyeball sensor No. 50 and 60. Special agent Fubuki has successfully infiltrated. Accurate data of target interior will be transmitted. Each of you, confirm entry route. The goal for this mission is to seize secrets of Agwarda. Avoid combat action as much as possible. Is there anything you value more than yourself? If it's for the person I love... I'd put up with anything. Something I value...? Enemy attack... Where on earth did they come from? We can't tell. Nothing was picked up by the security cameras or sensors. Emergency alert! Estimate enemy's present location from the direction of attack and deploy Cross to intercept! Roger! What's the situation with Burst and Flail? They're in the final stages of tune-up. They'll need at least ten more minutes. Looks like we have to buy as much time as we can. All hands, prepare for battle. Dangaioh Cross, head to enemy attack point 11-02F. Man, this is so slow! It pisses me off! There it is! Red-herring operation successful. Commence infiltration. What? You trying to scare me? A smoke screen! What a cheap trick! What! ? Where did you come from...? What the...? Command Center! What the hell's going on? Do you read me? Answer me! Don't be fooled by them! You're just a machine, for crying out loud! Dangaioh Cross, do you read? Dangaioh Cross! Doesn't look good. It's been hit by some strong jamming. Unless we can grasp the situation, we can't send backup. Flail and Burst aren't ready yet? The final tune-up is taking longer than expected. Where's the Commander? He's with the Vice Commander. He can't get away right now. Who is it? Manami Mishio... Ms. Sugi? Who's there? Damn you... Shadow warriors! Who are you? I'm here to see Commander Yonamine and Vice Commander Shikitani. Janet! No need to say a word... I'll just ask your mind. All right, tell me everything. What's the matter? Manami...! Kuya... You okay? An intruder... Don't talk. I'll go get help. No! Don't go. I'm scared. Yeah, but... Please... Um... Well... Kuya... Oh shucks, it was just getting interesting. Kuya, you spoiled the fun. It's called transformation, ninja-style... It sure does come in handy, you know. Like posing as a lab worker to sneak onto base, and cutting off a part of the security system to create an entry onto base. Good night. I see... So this is the lowest layer. You say the two of them are here, right? Yes. What shall we do? This wasn't mentioned in Fubuki's report. Have Jinpu, Usyuki and one more stay behind to guard, and the rest of you, go down to the lowest layer. Damn you! This is special agent Fubuki. The two Dangaioh pilots are in my custody. Boy, I'm in trouble now. Wake up. Both of you wake up! Are you okay, Big Brother? Kaori... Hurry and get out there! Burst and Flail are ready to go. What on earth happened? I'll explain later. Just hurry! Hitomi, hang in there! Chidou, you okay? Where the hell were you? You ready to transform? Am I ready? ! Come on, we'll give it back to 'em twice as hard! Here we go! Bout... Dimension! Dangaioh. Dangaioh transformation successful. Looks like they made it in time. The problem is the intruders. The security system has been completely destroyed. If we don't do something, they'll be able to infiltrate into the lowest level. Don't worry, the Commander will take care of it. Dangaioh? So that means they got past Fubuki? Go, Ankokuten! Buy us time until Mikazuchi comes back! This is it? Okay, show me. So it's sending false information to the computer... Its processing capabilities are amazing. Give it up! Boy, that felt good! We're not finished yet. Stand up, Ankokuten! Show them what you're really worth! Arise, Hikio! What the hell is this? Wh... What! ? Who are you? What do you know? You... Wh... What the hell is this? ! What is this? This can't be possible. What did you see? Who is that? Independent Auxiliary Unit 13... I heard you were a descendant of "Koga ninjas," but your talents exceed my expectations. Looks like I need to examine this further. What is this? What have you been doing here? It's exactly what you see. Remember it as you embark on your journey to death. How did you get there? You did this? You punk! Cross Tornado! It's all over. Ambition, love, relationships... These are the reasons why we stake our lives for battle. The battle with the giant deity brings back memories of pain. From the day I lost my big brother, my battle had begun. Don't miss: "The Great Soldier" on Great Dangaioh. That's not right Kuya... Why aren't you being more like your usual goofy self? C'mon, I know you can do it! Um... what do you mean by that? So, how are you feeling? I feel much better now. Well, I certainly hope so. You've been asleep for a week. But as your doctor, let me say something... You're only human, you know. Remember that. Right... Thank you. Impossible! The enemy? Hi! You've got some nerve! Isn't that the warning alarm? Shut up! You horny robot! Let's hurry. Yes, but this may be a false alarm... See you later, Romlin. But, I would like to continue... Is everything okay? Yes, all hands are preparing for battle. What's going on? Nobody's attacking us... Right, Manami? I doubt they've retreated. Here it comes. Are you really going? Disengage Dimension Code Protection. Manami! Condition level, rapidly deteriorating. How's the pilot? Flail, do you read? Flail! It's no good. There's no response. It has incredibly fast reaction time. Who is this enemy? I'll leave the rest to you. Keep calling out to her. Kuya! Wait! That's just the remains of a previous experiment. It's not someone you should be fighting. Hey, lemme know, if you're gonna be reckless like that! No way! I see... But remember the Von Dinosaur incident... Proceed with extreme caution. Yes, of course. If you'll excuse me, sir. Now, we're fully prepared... The world will now see the almighty power of the States, and realize who will lead the world! Is it going to take her away? Cover her! I won't allow you to take Manami! Damn... Take me, too! More to come... More to come... More to come... More to come... No...! Wh... What? Kuya! You okay? Yes... Let's get the hell out of here! Keep going! Keep going! Keep going! I hear you got a hold of Kuya? The two are around here. 150 km north of Marshall Islands. Well, then... Yes, as soon as repairs to your arm are completed, we want you to go rescue them. We need to act sooner than that. We must hurry so that I can pick up where I left off with... Left off? Yes, that is... But if that enemy comes back again... Don't worry! Dangaioh can take care of that Mohawk dude! That's not going be easy. Judging from the data sent from Flail, it's in no condition to transform into Dangaioh. But we just can't sit here and do nothing, right? Yes, you're right... Kuya... Kuya... Thanks. If you didn't come, they would've taken me away. No, I should have been more... You should have? I was no match for them at all... Sorry... If I weren't so slow, we could've transformed. I'm the weak link, aren't I? No way! Not once have I thought of you that way. It's just that... This is a dangerous mission and it's not for everyone. If there's a way you could step down... Don't get me wrong, that's not what I mean. You don't have to be on such a death-defying mission. Not anymore... What? I don't want to see it happen anymore. Don't want to see it anymore? That's right... Like your older brother. Don't look so worried, Kuya. But... Your brother is about to venture out into unknown technological territory. I can understand your concern. But a tremendous amount of money and the best brains in the world are behind this experiment. That's right. Don't worry, Kuya. Elbow No. 1, EM level, clear. No. 2 and 3, clear. No. 4 clear. Gravitator, active. Unlock quadro-main capillary. Insert reactor. Confirm reactor load. Result code normal. Confirm all circuit connection. Dangaioh, ready to start. Let's start the operation experiment. Start operation experiment. Move to start position. Release anchor. Release elbow lock. There's abnormal pressure in the main converter! Can you bypass it? I'm trying. It's backfiring in the cockpit block! Shut down bypass. Removing cockpit block! Hang on there! This baby's never had a person on board. It's just a little nervous. Take your time and figure out why the pressure's rising. Yes, but... Take care of it. Brother... Is there anything you value more than yourself? Something I value? It's to save... This world! Result code is timed out! It's overflowing! Abort experiment! Disconnect all circuits! There's a crack in the chamber! It's too late! I didn't understand why he wanted to be on Dangaioh. That's why I wanted to be on it. So I could see for myself. I can understand how your brother felt... He said, "something more valuable than yourself," right? Uh-huh. That's why I'm here, too. I'm glad you finally decided. I'm very grateful. Because you agreed, our mighty States can now gain the power we need to exercise justice! The power to prepare us for the coming threat! The power you seek, namely, the power they are going to grant you, will not make you into a mighty soldier. But I think you know that deep down inside. Mighty soldier! Our mighty States will not tolerate defeat! To ensure that, there's something you must get. With that, you will have the body of steel. You want me to get on? I'll do it. But... I don't want you to go on anymore. Look at the state it's in. I'll go. For you, too. How could that be? They blocked us from using Bout Dimension... So the protection device is still disengaged... Burning... NO! Blow! Kuya! Goddamn it! You let Black Elk go out without orders? Over time, its body won't be able to bear the burden... Our mighty States will not tolerate defeat... Right? Ahhh...! What...? They're here. Multiple unidentified objects from outer space, are currently descending at a high speed! They look exactly like the specter pattern, "Exception." Is that related to that monster we fought in Narita? Wh... What the hell's going on? Our ancestors existed with the land. But despite that, they were driven from their land, and forced to live a life of poverty and disgrace. But on the day our mighty soldier awakens, we know we can regain our once lost pride. And we know that this mighty soldier is the one that will save this world from the coming threat! Everything ended, and started, with meeting her. You were young then. Tears, screams and decisions... Fate dictates how the wheels of time will spin. And its only mission is to create a steel giant. You were a student. Don't miss Great Dangaioh Episode 11, "The Past Returns." You were really so young. Commander, what is it you want to say? Err... nothing. Get outta here... GET OUT! This is Dangaioh's new weapon, the super pyrogenic Stream Blaster. This will be able to burn away Exceptions' outer layer of mirrored armor. Then what was the point of having me use my sai? Of course, this will put a bigger stress on you physically and mentally. It's best if we never have to use it. Yeah, yeah... Tell me about it. Any other questions? If there are none, I'll explain the firing mechanism. Okay, then let's move on. A bigger strain... First, look at this part of the monitor. Brother... Looks like there's a storm coming... The sea was rough, that day, too. Such devastation... But... True change arises from confusion and destruction. Don't you agree, Mr. Yonamine? Chief Kato... A mysterious high energy reaction that instantaneously swallowed up thousands of lives... It just thrills me to pieces... One can only hope that this is a sign that'll point us to the path we must take for the future. Negative readings on both residual radiation and radioactivity. Troops will now begin examining the center of the explosion. Chief! Look at that! Chief, we have a report on Miya Shikitani from the medical team. Has she awoken? Huh? Well... I'm asking you, if she's up or not. I don't need to hear every single progress report! Clearly this is a mechanism made from a technology not found on this earth. The only survivor... And the mysterious woman. They're all keys to solving that incident. The giant monster and the white giant that appeared in Shinjuku that day... In order to figure out who they are and why they came, our agency Agwarda was created for the future. We will get to the bottom of this. Without fail! What do you mean, they need to discuss a possible shutdown? A total waste of money...? What does the Foundation know anyway? We just need the right opportunity! We have all the necessary conditions in place! A gentle push and the wheels will start spinning... Why can't they see that? Those fools! It's me. What! ? I'll be right there. Chief, the medical team reports that Miya Shikitani has regained consciousness. She's conscious...? Dan... Gai... Oh... Is it that time already? Shall we go? You haven't changed at all. I was just about your age, too. How strange... For the past 17 years, you and I have lived together as one... From that day I first met you... All this time... Who... are you? Protect it... What is this? Dangaioh. Dangaioh...? - You're almost there. Yeah, you got that. Areyousure it's okay that we came here ? Well, it is now, but ifwe're going to keep on doing this, we're gonna have to fiind someplace else to practice. Did you always want to be a doctor ? Who said I wanna be a doctor ? Chenille. Everybody. Well, yeah, you know. I wanna be a doctor, but I gotta get into college fiirst. What kind of doctor ? Pediatrician. I like kids. - Do you have any ? - No. Do you ? Oh, I didn't-- l wasn't trying to be smart, Derek. Wouldn't be the fiirst time. Screw you, I'm brilliant and cool. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. Wow. That was cute, that little thing you did. Can you show me again ? - What was that shit you just did ? - Rond dejambe attitude. - Ballet. I used to dance. - You used to dance ? Used to, as in don't anymore and no, I don't want to talk about it. So, is that why you brought up that rond dejambe attitude shit... because you don't want to talk about it ? It's really not a big deal. I think it is. This club was so slamming, Lindsay, the dancing. I'm gonna go again. You are ? Well, have you seen anybody get shot yet ? What ? No, I didn't see anyone get shot yet. God, I didn't move to Bosnia. Well, I'm still going to pray foryou. Jesus, Sara, you're in the freaking ghetto. Forget about the drive-bys, how are you supposed to meet anybody ? Um, well, I did actually meet somebody, I think. I met this guy, and he's really cool. -They got white guys at your school? -Um... no, actually they don't. Shut up ! Look at me. I want my money. [Girl Crying] ldon't have it. [Malakai] Shut up ! Quit your crying, man. [Girl] ldon't get paid till next week. You wasn 't saying that when you was smoking it. -l don't have it ! -Well, you better find it somewhere. - This ain't no lay a way plan. - Hey ! Hey, stop it ! Come here. Where do you think you're going, huh ? Aahh ! Bitch ! You ain't seen nothing, so don't say nothing... to nobody. [Derek] I stole a bike here once. - Why'd you do that ? - 'Cause I didn't have one. - Oh, okay. Good reason. - Well, it's not a reason, you know, I used to do shit like that, you know-- wild shit. - With Malakai ? - Yeah. I don't get you two. You seem so different. - We're not. - l think you are. I mean, come on, Malakai's scary. Very scary. What you mean by scary ? Kai's tough, he has to be. But he's still got a good heart. I know. Maybe you only think you know. Look, Malakai may not be the boy next door, but he's still my boy. He does some shit that I'm not down with sometimes, but I ain't never going to cross him offand be like everybody else. So, you're not down with the stuff he does, but you are down with him ? - That makes sense. I understand. - He's my friend, Sara. You don't have to understand. You don't have to understand. Listen, me and him got into some shit awhile back-- some bad shit. Broke into a liquor store and cracked open the cash register. Somebody peeped us and called five-0, and we barely made it out of the store. The cops were on our asses. We split up and ran in different directions. Now, I must have been going in the wrong direction, because the cops were closing in on me. So, Malakai, he smashed in some car windows, set off the alarms... and turned the heat from me to him. I kept running, and he got caught. The DA offered him everything but a Rolls Royce to turn my name in. But he didn't, and he never will. I stole a hat once, when I was 12. But my Mom found it and made me give it back. Gangsta Sara stole a hat. Call the F.B.l. Are you gonna turn me in ? I think I'll wait for you to surrender. So, you get along with your mom ? You know, you all tight and shit ? Yeah. We got along, tight and shit. -How come you never talk about her ? -'Cause there's nothing to say. It's because you don't talk about her. What do you want me to do ? I don't know, just say something about her. I mean, you don't say anything about her. Well, she's dead. God, what do you want me to do, -run through the streets screaming ? -lf it helps. Well, it won't, so drop it. Didn 't mean to press you about your mom. It's all right. Don't worry about it. Get along with your dad ? Y'all tight and shit ? Yeah, we're both tight and shit. Our DNA matches. - [ Sara ] What is this place ? - Well, in a few months, it'll be Club Med for the homeless, but right now... just an old furniture spot I used to work at last summer. Hop, step, back. Okay ? Real simple, do it with me, right ? Try it one more time. Add on the next part after that, all right ? Six, seven, eight. Step, back, break, spin, out, up, step. Chilly on that ? One more time. Okay, on this part ? It's like we're battling, right ? It's like a challenge. When I step forward like this, you have to challenge me back into my space, and I challenge you back in your space, like this. So, it's back, front, back, front, back, front, like that, that kinda feel. Step, back, forth, back. Wait, wait. You're making me dizzy. Stop, stop. Sit on it, sit on it. Stick your ass out. - Do it. - [ Both Laugh ] Okay, okay. How am I doing ? How's my butt ? [ Chuckles ] lt's nice. I mean, it's good. Thank you. [Sara] You made that ? It's really nice. It's Tanisha's. That girl's gonna pay my way through design school. What about your mom ? Where is she ? She was in jail... for drugs. For things women do for drugs. She got out and took off. Well, maybe she'll come back. That is what Derek used to say when we were little, when Momma Dean used to piss us off. But he grew up. He grew out of it. You like Derek, don't you ? No. No. [Derek] Wooo ! Yeah ! Igot it ! Yo ! What's the deal ? What's going on in there ? - [Momma Dean Laughing] - Wh-What's going on ? Dr. Reynolds in the house. You know what I'm saying ? - What ? What ? - Check it out. Check it out. [ Reads, indistinct ] Georgetown ! It's Georgetown ! [ All Clapping, Cheering ] - Congratulations. - Thankyou. - Really exciting. - Thankyou. Whoo ! Gimme some love. Give it up. Are you going to tell me where we're going ? - No. - Why is this a surprise for me ? You're the one with something to celebrate. - We can celebrate together. - Okay. We have an audience. Work with me. Oh, my God. [ Laughing ] That lady was freaking out. - l know it. - She was really losing it. - l'm so excited foryou. - Thankyou. - Are you nervous about Georgetown ? - No. - [ Laughs ] Yeah. - Yes. [ Laughs ] I'm sorry. l-l can't go in there. What do you mean ? This is where l'm taking you, the ballet. I know, but-- But what ? [ Laughs ] Nothing. - Nothing. Never mind. - Come on. [Woman Cheering] I thought you would like it. - l did. - You ain't acting like it. I'm sorry. I don't want you to think that I didn't have a good time. I did. It's just... ballet is not a part of my life anymore. I don't understand. What happened ? You just woke up one morning and decided to waste your talent ? How do you know I have talent ? 'Cause you saw me do some leg trick? I saw the look on your face when you did it. The same as I saw tonight-- goofy, happy. So, if you're gonna tell me something about not dancing, at least tell me something real. Well, what if I don't want it to be real ? What I want is to wake up and see my mom again; for things to go back to the way when my life made sense. But that's not gonna happen, and it's all my fault. - All of it. - What's your fault ? My mom, the accident, the fact that she's dead. She got scraped off some highway because of me... because of my stupid audition. Because she was rushing because I made her promise to come. And when they called my name, I was mad at her because-- because I needed her to be there and she wasn't. She was dying while I was dancing, and I was mad at her. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - l'm so sorry. - Listen. It is not your fault that she died... or that she was rushing. She cared about you. She just wanted to be there for you. That's what makes it so bad. She always wanted what was right for me. I wanted to be the prima ballerina. I had to be. And I didn't care if it took all of her money and all of her spare time. It was my stupid audition and my stupid dream, and it killed her. And all she wanted was for it to come true. I bet she would still want it to come true. She wouldn't want you to give that up. I know. I just-- l don't think that I can do it without her. What do you want ? Do you wanna do it, Sara ? I mean you. Do you want Juilliard ? - Yes. - All right. Then, it's on you. You're the one that's gonna have to make it happen. You're the one that's gonna have to make the dream come true. [KeysJingling] So, I'll see you tomorrow ? Yeah. I promise not to have a nervous breakdown. Good night. Good night. [Sara] I called Juilliard for an application. They're holding auditions in Chicago next month. [Derek] Next month. That's cool. [Sara] I'm out of shape, and it hurts. If that's what you call out of shape, what does it take to get you in shape ? - Practice. - Okay, jog around the room, then. Do some push-ups. I'll sit here, and I'm gonna watch. That's not how I get into shape. That's it. Now shoulders down. Andbring the hip down asyougo. And stretch through the toes. Don't wait. And fiinish. Good. [Sara Sighs] You know, I'm okay with the ballet part, but I need help with my free form. Girl, who is Snookie talking to ? I don't know. Anything with legs. [ Laughs ] I think someone got spilled on. Hey, back off. Ain't nobody watching' you but me. Yeah, right, nobody's watching. Come on. Gotta get ready for Juilliard. Go Derek! Go Derek! Go Derek! Go, go, go, girl ! Watch me squash this shit. You never look as good as she does with him. That's oil. You're milk. Ain't no point trying to mix. Hey, what's up ? Look, we were just dancing. And what, her ass just happened to fall into your hands ? No, it was- - You were dancing with Snookie, I was dancing with Nikki. The music was going and-- l thought we were having a good time. Look. There's nothing between me and Nikki anymore. I didn't mean to hurt you. Sara, I would never do anything to hurt you. I'm sorry. I really am sorry. - You wanna go ? - Yeah. Come on. Let's go. This is it. This is where l live. This is my dad's music room. - He plays the trumpet. - No shit. [ Laughs ] He's actually pretty good if you like jazz. No. He's got some nice stereo equipment. It's off the hook. Huh. And this is our living room. - lt's not anything special. - lt's all right. My dad's gonna flix that. It's kind of messy in there. - Do you wanna see my room ? - Uh, yeah. - This is it. I sleep on the couch. - [ Laughs ] There's a bed underneath, but it gets stuck, and my dad says he's gonna flix it, but I don't know. He's, um, at work right now. He'll... be gone all night. Yeah, um-- [Siren Wailing ln Distance] I'd sleep in a dresser too if I had six brothers to sleep with. Hey, fellas, what's up ? - Look at this stud. - What's up, man ? Hey, playah. How you doin', man ? Whass up, baby ? Oh, no love. No love. I hear you been traveling in new circles. What's up with that ? - You tapping' that white girl ? - [ All Laugh ] That's why you ain't got more time for your boys? Too busy fronting ? Too busy snow flaking. lf that's the case, you best be watching your back. 'Cause white women don't bring nothing' but trouble. That ain't white women, man. That's women. - That's your women. - Yo, are we gonna check out... some honeys on the westside ? - You riding ? - Hell, no. This ain't about no honeys. I know what it's about. Those fools we stomped at Stepps hit my corner four strong last week. - l gotta handle myself. - You slide out that side oftown, - they gonna handle you. - They can bring it. I got my heat. All that gat's gonna do is create some unnecessary mayhem, man. That's the black man's life- madness and mayhem. - How do you know ? You just got out of juvee, and now you're talking about... going out there trying to start some more shit ? - [ Laughs ] - That shit ain't funny. You act like you don't know who you are anymore, Derek. And what's up out there for anybody who ain't you ? I'm still from this neighborhood, but you ? I guess that's what happens when a white girl goes to your head. - Or gives you some. - Shut up, Lip. Sorry. I know what's out there. Ain't like you can't get past it, but you're too busy getting in your own way to see that. I had some help getting in my own way, didn't I ? [ Chattering ] [Cheering] Hey, wassup ? What the hell was that ? I was trying to block the ball. Stupid bitch ! [Girls Yelling] Good going, Sara ! Get off ! That's it ! Nikki, back off ! [ Chattering ] Oh, yeah ! Oh, yeah ! - Yeah, yeah ! - l like that ! - [ indistinct Yelling ] - [Gunshots] - [ indistinct Yelling ] - What is this shit ? - Malakai ? Are you all right ? - Yeah, yeah, man. Anybody catch one ? It ain't over, bitch. I don't even know why it started, bitch. 'Cause you always in my way. I'm only in your way when it comes to Derek. That's what this is about. No, it's about you. White girls like you. Creepin' up, takin' our men. The whole world ain't enough, you got to conquer ours too. Whatever, Nikki. Derek and I like each other, and if you have a problem with that, screw you. [Train Clacking] [KnockAt Door] I'll get it. - [Knocking] - Yeah, I'm coming. - Oh, hi. - Shit ! - l'm okay. - Wait. Let me see. I'm really okay. I'm fline. Well, what did she do ? Um, now is really not a good time to talk. - Okay. Well-- - l'll call you. Oh, no. Here, let me see. - Here. - God, that stinks. Yeah, but it's gonna keep your face from swelling up like a pumpkin. Hold it. Here. Hold it on there. So, whatcha gonna do ? It's payback time. Either you down or you not. Either you my boy or you ain't. Simple as that. Oh, ha ! Hey, baby, we lit it up out there. I am serious. Did you see us, "D" man ? Do you see us ? We're talking. Anyway. Hey, baby, we lit it up. - Oh, man, come on, man ! - That shit ain't funny, man. - You damn right it ain't funny. - l thought you liked it down there. That's your specialty, ain't it ? Crawling on the floor like a bitch. That was a reflex action in the heat ofthe moment. You're just plain rude and wrong to bring that shit up in mixed company. - l'm gonna go home. Are you ready ? - No, he's not ready. He's talking to me. It's an "A" and "B" conversation. - You gotta go ? See yourself home. - Fuck you ! - Bitch, I'm gonna-- - What the hell is your problem ? You gonna take that bitch's back and won't even cover mine ? - 'Cause you wrong, Malakai. - No, you're wrong. You been wrong. You ain't even worth shit no more. Get outta my face, college boy, and take that trailer trash ho with you. Honey, his blue pajamas are at the bottom of the bag. If it's as cold as it was today, put those on him. Hey, whatcha all doing with my nephew here ? Come on now. There we go. It's okay. lt's okay. - What's wrong with him ? - He don't know you, Kenny. I'm his father, he knows me. What should I do ? - Come around more often. - See, I can't talk to you. And I can't depend on you. - Shh. - [ Baby Crying ] What do you think I use to raise this baby, oxygen ? He has needs, Kenny, and his needs require money. - Here we go. - And we're gonna keep going... until I get what I need from you to raise your son. I'm doing the best that Ican. But do you think your mouth helps the situation ? I'm just trying to deal with this shit. I didn 't ask forthis. What, and I did ? I climbed on top of myself and got pregnant ? You want me to take him to my mother's ? I'll take him. Get his shit ready. Get him ready ! Oh, no. You're not going now here with my son tonight. Not on that temper, and not with that attitude. Look, you know what ? Fine. Then, I won't take him. I'm outta here. Go ahead, leave. That's what you're good at ! Your son ain't seen nothing but your back since he was born ! - [DoorCloses] - [Baby Crying] [Babies Crying, Murmuring] [Woman] Shawana Clarke. Shawana Clarke. Do you want me to take him ? No. [Woman] Travis, come here. Come here, Travis. Travis, put that down. Excuse me. I have been here for an hour and a half. Am I gonna be able to see a doctor anytime soon ? I've already told you, we'll get you in as soon as we can. My appointment was an hour ago. I already got here early. We are doing the best we can. We have a lot of people. is there somebody else I can talk to ? [Continues, indistinct] Wench. I gotta stand over her... to make sure she puts your name on the damn list. Triflin' bitch. Okay. Ooo-kay. Yeah. Da da da da da da da da. - l'll get that. - [ Baby Gurgling ] Da da ! I know. I know. I know. I know. So, your dad's trippin' about the flight. -Yeah. -Probably thinks it's Derek's fault. No, I explained about Nikki. So, you put it all on her. None of it's on you. She started it. I told you what she said. Maybe she didn't have no business getting up in your face, but she had reason to say what she said. Wait a minute. You agree with her ? You and Derek act like it don't bother people to see you together. Like it don't hurt people to see. Well, we like each other. What is the big damn deal ? It's me and him, not us and other people. Black people, Sara. Black women. Derek's about something. He's smart. He's motivated. He's for real. He's not gonna make babies and not take care of them, or run the streets messing up his life. He's gonna make something of himself. And here you come-- white, so you gotta be right-- and take one of the few... decent men we have left after jail, drugs and drive-by. That is what Nikki meant about you up in our world. There's only one world, Chenille. That is what they teach you. We know different. l-l don't understand. I thought we were friends. You wanna be a friend ? Don't just be here to be here. Open up your pretty brown eyes and look the hell around. [Baby Continues Crying] Excuse me. [Derek] Come on, Sara, this is for your audition. Come on. No, no, no. You're not attacking it. You're not working it, okay ? Come on now. I'll get it right the next time. You don't have time. You gotta get it right now. - l can't work like this. - Like what ? Like this, with you dictating to me. Allright. Let's take a break. I'm sorry. lt's just that the audition's next week, and everything is so messed up at school. I don't know. I'm feeling a little bit weird. You know everything's going to be okay. I feel it. So, you pick out a dress yet ? Dress ? Yeah, you know, girls wear those sometimes. Stepps. Main Squeeze Night. Couples only Saturday night. We already talked about this, remember ? Yeah. We talked about it, but I didn't know we decided on it. Well, it's Stepps. What is there to decide on it ? I don't know. I just thought that with the flight and everything... that maybe we should cool it for a little while. What ? Well, uh, what are you saying ? Are you saying that you don't wanna be with me ? You don't wanna be seen with me ? What are you saying ? I'm just saying I'm confused, that's all. Confused about what ? Me ? A little bit. I don't know. Yeah... no... maybe. Maybe ? So, hold on. What ? Are we talking about Stepps and school, or are you talking about the grocery store, the sidewalk and museums ? Break it down a little bit better for me, 'cause I don't get it. When is it okay for us to be together ? To be seen together ? Why are you getting mad ? I'm just being honest. Nobody wants to see us together. We spend more time defending our relationship than having one. It'sjust... so hard. Everything's gotta be easy ? That's the story ofyour life, not mine. You know this much about my life. I know when shit gets rough, you give up and punk out. Just the way you punked out on ballet when your mom died. You don't know shit about my mother. How dare you talk about my mom ! God ! I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It'sjust that... all this shitjust kind of caught me off guard. I mean, it's, like, damn, you don't wanna be with me. is that what you're saying, that you don't want to be with me ? No, it's not like that. I'm trying to tell you how I feel, and you're taking it personal. Let me tell you something, Sara. I just hit the best friend I have in the world in the face overyou. I've been taking shit from people I've known all my life. People I care about, that care about me so I could be with you. Telling myselfthat we are in this together. So, don't give me this "nothing personal." l don't wanna hear it. Fine. lf l'm messing up your life so much, then maybe we shouldn't be together. You know what ? I don't need this shit. ldon't even know whylbother. I'm out. The hell with it. The hell with you. Uh, you know, about the other night. I don't want there to be-- Don't even worry about it, man. Myjaw's not made out of glass. Yeah, well, you know, blood's thicker than blonds, right ? So, you got my back on Saturday ? Derek... I ain't got nobody else, man. - You got Lip. - Lip ? Man, that fool will get a nigger killed quick, man. No, I need you there. 47th Street, under the El. I'll call you, man. Are you down ? - Yeah, I'm down. - All right, man. Let me get to class, get some education like you. All right. Uh... I don't wanna bug you. I just came in here to say good luck. So, tomorrow's the big day, huh ? Yeah. - You scared ? - Shitless. You got a minute foryour old man ? I wanna show you something. Sure. Be careful. That wall, it's, uh, still wet. That'syourmother when she was 19, when I fiirst met her. I know. It'sjust a start. I mean, I know you're too old for a twin bed. It's a nice bed, Roy. You know, l-l didn't mean to mess up your life. Oryour mother's. And I don't deserve a second chance to be your father, but I'm hoping you'll give me one anyway. You know, wayback when... lthought lhadallthe time in the worldtoget to knowyou, foryou to get to know me. But... one day... wake up, you look around. All you got to show foryourself is a... beautiful, talented, little girl. Young woman... who hates you. I don't hate you. I miss her. I miss her so much. God, everything isso screwedup. Derek is mad at me. He's not gonna come tomorrow. I want him to be there. lneedhim to be there. I just want someone there who loves me. I love you. Whoa ! Hey. Why are you so quiet ? I don't feel like talking. Derek, there's something I oughta tell you. I said something to Sara. What ? What did you say ? Stuff. About how maybe Nikki had a point about black men and white women. What ? You said what ? I'm sorry. l-l don't even like Nikki. I was trippin' off Kenny. You can't help who you love, Derek. You're not supposed to. When you love somebody, you love them. Look at me. At least you found somebody who loves you back. I gotta go. Where you going ? Stay out of my business, Chenille. I know what Malakai wants you to do. Why are you trippin' off him, Derek ? All you're trying to do is get the hell up out of here. Ain't no shame or blame in that. It's getting cold out here. Take that baby inside. Hey. Hey. Kai, I've been trying to catch up with you. I gotta talk to you. - Ready to roll ? - l gotta talk to you. - Wassup ? - Look, man. I ain't going with you. What you mean you're not going ? -You know what I mean. -Did you come here to waste my time? This shit is nonsense, Kai. It's dangerous nonsense. Just back up off it, man. Come on. I'll go with you ifyou go home. Go home ? Get the hell away from me, you punk-ass bitch. You're the one don't have the balls. to walk away from this shit. I should have tookyour ass tojail along with mine, man. But you didn't, so you do not have to get in that car. Malakai, you are so much smarter than this shit. I know what you can be. I know what you're capable of. Let'sjust walk away. Walk away to what ? I'm not you, Derek. I can't do nothing but what I'm doing. I can't go to Georgetown with a 1 0.0 G.P.A., operating on people, doing brain surgery... - or whateveryou're gonna be doing. - You can, man. - lf l can do it, you can do it. - All I have is my respect. Andthat's what lgotta go take care of. You wanna bail out on me, man ? That's fline. But you can kiss my ass with all your future bullshit. I know who the hell I am... right now. Kai, man, wait, man. Let's go, man. [CarEngineStarts] Sara ? Ready to go ? Um-- Yes. Yes. Sara ! [Woman] SaraJohnson ? Aah ! [Police Radio Chatter] MissJohnson, we meet again. I assume you prepared a contemporary piece. [ Sighs ] Yes, sir. They have my music. [MaleJudge] Holdit. Holdit. Cut the music. I'm sorry, sir. I wasn 't ready. [ Sighs ] Are you ready now ? [ Sighs ] Yes, sir, she's ready ! Youngman, excuse me. This isan audition. Who let him in here ? How did he get in here ? He's not supposed to be there. - Youngman ! - You can do this. - l messed up. lt's too late. - lt is not too late. - MissJohnson. - You can do it. - [ Sighs ] - Sara, you were born to do it. - Thatjudge hates me. - Forget him. Ain't nobody watching you but me. All right ? Now show me some attitude. MissJohnson, we don't have time for this. Areyou readyto continue ? - MissJohnson ! - l'm ready. Whoo ! Yeah ! That's what I'm talkin'about, baby. Look, all due respect, ifyou don't let this girl in, you're crazy. [ Murmuring ] Thankyou, sir. Thankyou very much. MissJohnson, I can't say this on the record yet, but welcome toJuilliard. [ Laughs ] Thankyou. Thankyou. [ Laughs ] Oh, yeah, hype it up. Hype it up, everybody. Hey, I heard you got intoJuilliard. That's like the hottest school on the planet, right ? Yeah, it's pretty good. Well, I know they got all these famous dance teachers and shit, but ifyou need some new moves, you know, some real flavor, you know who to call. All right ? All right. - Congratulations ! - Thankyou. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. - Say, "Thankyou, Snookie." - Thankyou, Snookie. Get your ass on the floor. Ticket, please. Have a good trip. Excuse me, is this seat taken? No. I love ballet. I never had the body for it. You dance? I used to. I've got something for you. It's for love, not luck because you don't need luck. You dance like an angel. Mom... You're the best luck I'll ever have. - Are you okay? - I keep messing up the pirouettes. It's frustrating, but it'll be okay. My mom's gonna be there. You have nothing to worry about. You're the best dancer in Lamont. This is not Lamont, it's Julliard, New York City. - Do you want to pray? - What? You're leaving for St. Louis. I'm not gonna see you. We should pray. Awesome Father, S.J. Auditions today, let her do okay... We've got the Carson wedding, the Dankowski party, two funerals, and Jill calls in sick today of all days. Sara, I'm sorry, I have to handle this. There isn't anybody else. - Mom, what about... - Glynn, do they want roses in this? Judy took that order, ask her. Mom, this is the most important day of my life. You have to be there. You promised. I know. Excuse me, are you Sara Johnson? You're next. I'll be there. I promise. Before you audition. Is there anything you'd like to say about your contemporary piece? No, it's pretty self-explanatory. Did you have a good ride? I slept through most of it. I guess you've got stuff. Baggage? Three suitcases. One big one. Sorry I had to split so soon after the funeral. If I could have gotten out of that gig, I would have hung around longer. Guess it was pretty tough leaving all your friends. Here we are. Put them anywhere. I'll give you the grand tour. Not like what you're used to, but the water's hot and the mice are friendly. Bathroom. Kitchen... big kitchen. This is where I sleep. I didn't get a chance to make the bed today. Where do I sleep? Nixon was probably in office when this was made, but there's a brand-new mattress in there. Most of your clothes should fit here. Put the rest in the hall closet. I know it's a little bit out in the open, but... I didn't get a chance to finish your room here. Yeah, I'll fix that. It's a work in progress. I'll have it up and running in no time. A few minor adjustments. Well, I guess I'll let you get unpacked. You don't have to come in with me. I'm your father. I'm supposed to. You don't know where to go. It's okay. I mean, I have done this before - gone to school. All right, well, this is the name they gave me. Mrs Gwynn, main office. I'll be back to pick you up at 3:30. Okay, sure, whatever. My door is always open and, contrary to hall rumour, you can talk to me. So, do you have any questions or concerns? No questions, no answers. All right. This is Mr Campbell's class and he's expecting you. Truman Capote's "In Cold Blood" represents a complete turning point in American history and literature. Do you want to take that cap off and tell us why, Mr Ricard? Gay rights? - The Com-pote dude who wrote it... - Capote. - Capote? - Capote. Sweet tooth. Straight-up fag, Mr C. - Flaming! - Thank you, Mr Ricard. We can now promote you up to kindergarten. Anybody else? Once, twice... Miss Johnson, I apologise if any of this is over your head. If you see me after class, I'll give you some chapters. Anybody? It's a non-fiction novel. Capote mixed true events with things he couldn't know, so he made them up. He created a new genre. White folks back then felt safe. Capote scared them. He took hardcore crime out of the ghetto and placed it in America's backyard. That's what makes the book special. Yes, that's part of it. That's all of it. We got a debate going on now. Capote wasn't first. Richard Wright and James Baldwin did the same. Wasn't nobody trying to read them, though. A lot of people read them. A lot of people like who? You? Didn't think so. Hey, yo! Mr C, Mr C. -Aye, free. And we'II take them together! Is that the best you can do? I'd say we've wiped out our bounty-hunter problem. -For now. -Aye. For now. I was wrong about you. I acted foolishly as well. No hard feelings, aye? I'II buy you a refreshment. please, allow me. I shall buy you a refreshment. No, no, I'II buy you one. I insist. No, I must buy you one, to make amends. It's all right. I'II buy. -No, I will buy. -I'II buy. -No, I will buy. -I'II buy. -No, I will. -I will. -I will. -Me! Me! [ENGLISH] Subtitles Shared By Kapil Tapsi 1 00:04:54,811 -- 00:04:59,214 By the look on your face, I can tell you like the pipes, wee laddie. Please, I don't mean to interrupt but am I close to the end of this bridge? No, far from it. I've been traipsing across this bridge for days now. Seems I have a long way to go still. I should be on my way. Excuse me. - What do you expect me to do? - Just stand aside. And risk falling over the side for a perfect stranger? Away and bow your head. You stand aside! My destination lies at the opposite end of the bridge. And you'll get there after you back up and I reach that end of the bridge first. That would waste too much time and time is what I don't have. So you think you're better than me because you're in a hurry. Well, I'm in a hurry too! But, no, you did not think of that, did you? That I might be an equal. No! You just consider yourself superior, right off. You're rude. You mistake my comment, sir. Do I? You think I'm dumb too? No, I... Look, we are both in a hurry. So I shall hang from these planks and you may walk over. So you get a peek up my kilt? That is not what I am suggesting. - So you say, you plucky-faced hing-oot! - What did you call me? So you're deaf too, you clagtail cuddle dreik! I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We'll fight for it to the finish. - I do not think there is any need to... - Listen, you boony blathering numpty. The only way for you to get across this bridge is to beat me in combat! Now, are you a man, or a worthless blate like I know you are? I'm calling you a coward! I fear no man. That's some tough talk coming from a man who wears a basket on his head! I carry my haggis in a basket. You might even make me shiver if you weren't dressed in a nightgown. You look like my nanny! You call that thing dangling off your hip a sword? Looks like a butter knife. You'll not hurt anyone, wielding a piece of tinfoil around. You'd be better off using your slippers for a weapon. This is a sword! And it's bigger than yours. What do you think of that, Mr. Pajama-Wearing, Basket-Face Slipper-Wielding, Clype-Dreep-Bachle Gether-Uping-Blate-Maw, Bleathering, Gomeril Jessie, Oaf-looking, Scooner, Nyaff, Plookie, Shan, Milk-Drinking Soy-Faced Shilpit, Mim-Moothed, Sniveling, Worm-Eyed, Hotten-Blaugh Vile-Stoochie, Cully-Breek-Tattie. You gonna weep now? Shall I pause while you mourn your hat? I can play a melancholy tune to go with your weeping. You've done it now. I'm gonna turn your head into a flour sifter. Aye, you got a lot of pep for a wee laddie. The horse-cut technique should've destroyed your sword. Magic runes, laddie! All them fancy moves will get you nowhere. Now, quit your jumping around and get to fighting! Prepare to meet your doom. I'll give you one more chance to give up. I am not defeated. And I shall hold my ground. Hold your ground? You can barely hold your sword. Then come get me. What? I... Seeing that I'm a sportsman I'll give you a moment to recuperate. They're after me. After you? They're after me! Aku's got a price on my head! Aku has a price on my head! We are in no condition to fight. Especially not with a pajama-wearing daisy strapped to my wrist! - We must escape. - Over the side! Leave it to a lover of basket hats to jump left instead of right. I'm having second thoughts now anyway. We have no idea how far down... Great job, laddie. - You have any idea where we are? - No. So, what now, smarty-pants? For the moment, we are safe from those bounty hunters. We must find shelter before they find us. We are defenseless in this lagoon. Shut it! There. We'll be safer on land. - Hear you! - Blaster! What I do not understand is, why Aku is after you. I have a huge price on my head. Oh, yeah. Huge. I'm the most wanted man on this planet. Bounty hunters of all types are after me skin. My face is plastered on wanted posters in every town on seven countries. Oh, yeah. I'm infamous. No. I don't believe it. Got it! I think they're gone. Are you sure? Aye, it's quiet. Jump now! - This might not work. - Of course it works. We're a lethal pair. Behind you! The arrow relies on the bow. The bow, on the arrow. But they are not tied together. That would be pointless now, wouldn't it? Exactly. Together we are formidable but shackled, our power is pointless. - We must be free. - Aye, free. And we'll take them together! Is that the best you can do? I'd say we've wiped out our bounty-hunter problem. - For now. - Aye. For now. I was wrong about you. I acted foolishly as well. No hard feelings, aye? I'll buy you a refreshment. Please, allow me. I shall buy you a refreshment. No, no, I'll buy you one. I insist. No, I must buy you one, to make amends. It's all right. I'll buy. - No, I will buy. - I'll buy. - No, I will buy. - I'll buy. - No, I will. - I will. - I will. - Me! Me! Kinotar presents A SUBURBAN TALE Directed by Sakari Kirjavainen My name is Ben Laine. I will help you through the day. I know that you're anxious. You've had nightmares or didn't sleep at all. Count with me from three to one. Three, two, one. Good. You can feel your entire body relax. Make some coffee, Viljanen. This is not funny... Multala! Viljanen will be your backup until Toropainen recovers from his cold. Alarm! Alarm! Daycare center. Breathe the light summer air. Feel it caress each molecule in your body. Repeat in your mind: I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. Good. Come out, Viljanen. There are gas bottles in the basement. We need more units! There are burning chemicals here. Did you inhale smoke? This can't be true! Jesse Viljanen! Marjukka! What are you doing here? Viljanen! There are children inside. I'll take care of it with Multala! Let's go. Take some oxygen, firefighter. You became a firefighter then. Wait! I'll take a blood test. I became a nurse. We were pretty wild back then, right? It was a long time ago. -Marjukka! I always... Remember Kalevi Hakkarainen? He's my boyfriend now. I still live in the same building. Kalevi Hakkarainen? ! Where did you find the kids? -In a cold-storage room. Damn you, Viljanen! You must've eyes in your ass too! Right! Bloody well done! -I was just doing my work. We won't forget this. -Yes! You're a goddam superman. Women, beware! -When was the last time you had sex? Wow! Alarm! Girls entering the sauna! Lusty Terhi here. What's your pleasure? Well... - Yes? I'm waiting. Could you help me out here? I've never called these numbers before. Then lately, I've often felt dizzy. The test results are OK. How is your social life? It's been a bit easier over the phone. Everything seems to indicate - that you have severe exhaustion, in other words, burnout. Take one of these in the morning. Things are a bit better now. Well, it varies, you see. Any hobbies? -No. Relatives? No. Wife? No. There must be more to life than work. Perhaps a small trip? Doctor's orders. I know where I could go. And forget the fires for a while. Look... I've got one. -You do? This is part two. JESSE SUCKS Greetings to the doctor. Jerk! -Hakkarainen! Take it easy, man! -Fuck you. Take it easy, moron! Peach. Dad... It's Jesse. Remember me? The prodigal son came for a visit. You shouldn't scare an old man. How's daddy? You've lost weight. I thought I'd do some visiting. -Go ahead, I have work to do. Visit you, I mean. Didn't you used to smoke these at Christmas? It was a different brand. Are you still working on your thesis about shopping bags? That's why we moved here. Twenty years ago. Don't touch them! It's my research material. What do they tell you? They correlate with the changes in the gross national product. Don't laugh. Kids flush them down the toilet. Which sewer do you dig to find these? The one at the waste water purification plant. What brings you here? -Doctor's orders. Are you seeing a shrink? The other option was to see the monkeys in the zoo. I should get these calculations done. You're getting bald. No of fence, dad. Jesse! Marjukka told us what you did. -Garbage Jesse! Is he the one who saved the children? He's the man, Garbage Jesse! -Don't. How's the court? We're digging our own graves here. Keep it, Superman. Coffee, please. It's on the house. -Thanks. Where's Hakkarainen? -I told him to get a job. Said that to the King! He'd rather kill himself than get a job. -Let's drink to that! Hakkarainen is going to jump from the crane! Buy me a beer when you get down! What's this? You're off-duty. I know him from way back. Who am I to stop anyone? You want to exercise, fine. Hakkarainen! Show us a somersault, faggot! You're a mountain lion! You'll always land on your feet! A career leap! Where did the tomato go? Show us a fucking triple lutz! Get back or I'll jump! -No you won't. Don't you know your old friends anymore, King? Garbage Jesse! Dammit... It's been a while. Remember when you made me do chin-ups in the jib crane? I bloody well did. -Let's try it again. Remember how you used to force me into the garbage can? Come back, I feel dizzy. It'll be great to fall down once my muscles get tired. It'll be such a relief. How many can you do these days? Twenty? I don't feel like jumping anymore. I want down. I'll do a few more, I feel so great. You ruined my show. He's coming. You've been named firefighter of the year. Irma did this at the factory. -It's called The Flame Man. It's fireproof and you can take it anywhere, even the sauna. Come on, guys... Guys? What's wrong? -Nothing. Where's Viljanen? Dear colleagues... Representatives of the TV... Distinguished Governor... I thank you on behalf of the fire brigade. Let's hope that this publicity will bring us more funds. Viljanen! Here. The costume is a gift from his colleagues. Congratulations, firefighter of the year: Jesse Viljanen. Your turn to give a speech. The kingdom of flames is powerless against my super strength. Die, you flames! Are you alright? Sure. After some strange turns, I've become The Flame Man. Right... First, sick leave, then office duty with the girls. But first, firefighter of the year". Jesse Viljanen. Marjukka! Bring me another beer! Your old friend Jesse Viljanen is in the news! What next, firefighter of the year, Flame Man Jesse Viljanen? Home to Puotinharju. I need to rest. See my friends. They must be proud of you. I guess. The flame performance we saw... What an earth is he wearing? -Mom knows all the idiots... At home, I thought... My friends gave me the costume and I thought... Is it your inner flame that makes you do these things we just saw? I don't know about flames but I have dreams. Jesse's nothing but dogshit from the garbage can! He saved your life. Ostrich farmer Einu Palunen, your farm's been vandalized again. What's all that noise? Look! Your things just flew out the window. What? You're part of the scenery. The air passes through, filling your entire body. It flows out your finger tips. Breathe with your toes to get the air into your toes. The energy flowing in your toes fills you with vitality. Your toes are laughing. Good. You're like air. A cool breeze permeates your body. You see a vision of divine beauty. Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Who did this? The Freemasons? Are you from a bat lodge or something? Leave me alone. Guys, I need help! Don't touch her! There's some wacko here, Peku! Are you fucking crazy or what? What's wrong? Nothing. Somebody was crying for help. The bride was tied up, her clothes all torn. I tried to help, but the Devil and Dracula attacked me. Then they all just disappeared. She was calling for help because the wackos had tied her up. And she took off with them? -Yeah. Are you Batman or what? -I'm... Should we send the dogs after him? This is the reality now. Dad. I'll be damned. Dad... I'm moving in here, Dad. I have burnout. -What? I need rest. The only cure for that is to start working. You don't like me, Dad. -Don't say that. Your tights look good on TV. You were never happy with the fact that I'm just a firefighter. You should've done your homework. You're the one who drove me out before I'd done my homework. You have no idea what it's like to sit in the garbage all night! Like mother, like son. What would've happened to you and Mom had we not moved here? Stop patronizing me, you super sociologist! Fine... I'll go out to play. The garbage can is on fire! It's that wacko again. -Don't go, he can be unpredictable. They'll give him a lesson. Look who's here! Viljanen, goddammit. Get up! Show me... A disgrace to the entire brigade. Does he live here? I'm too scared to sleep. I can come and keep my finger in your navel. Easy... You're moving further down. Down, until I can feel your tongue... ah. Don't turn it off or the neighbors will hear. No, I wasn't talking to you. He hung UP"- What happened to the smell? -I threw Hakkarainen out. Don't take any new idiots in. -Of course not. The red Batman has moved into building D. He's an old friend of mine, Jesse Viljanen. He was just named firefighter of the year. He was torching the garbage can! -He's a nice guy, really. I think he's repulsive and nuts. What's eating you, Jemina? Grow up, Mom. Don't let your boy play with matches anymore! Will you come and work at the office when you get better? Are you sure? Yes? I see... Goodbye. You must not torch garbage cans. Hear me, Jesse? You've done that to me before. I couldn't think of anything else. You were always lighting fires. What fires? Fires. -What fires? What fires are you talking about? I don't remember any fires. Get up! Get up! We'll be fine, as long as we forget the past. Deal? -Deal. Forget the past. -Forget the past. Here you are... Thanks, Marjukka. Is Jesse still here? He's in there, brooding. Jesse is a fine man. He thinks a lot. I think he's really deep. Hello, Jesse. Marjukka! You gave me this lighter. It's out of gas and useless now. I came here to see you - and it's your fault I always ended up in the garbage can as a kid. Mrs. Hakkarainen! -Don't... I dumped him. Guess why? -I'm sorry. What should I do now? Get work with the renovators. Dad told me to ask for Jakki. I'm Jakki. Jesse, Taisto's son. Do you have any work for me? What can you do? -I'm not afraid of heights. I used to be a firefighter. Get overalls. Really? Yes. This goes into your phone bill. -Good. My wife is sleeping right here. - They usually do. I'm not a marriage counselor. - I have an idea, you see... I've been thinking that... Hello? Are you role-playing again? -I guess. You need a life, Jemina. You're always doing homework or just dreaming. I haven't done any homework in years. Have sex with a nice boy. There are condoms in my drawer. Moms don't talk like that, Mom. And I'm not sleeping with anyone. It's pretty cool, Mom. They court me like monkeys. You shouldn't play with people's feelings. Is that real what you do on the phone? Isn't it just another game? We're just mammals, too. Sure... It's good exercise and it pays well. Do you think we could live like this on a nurse's salary? Phone sex is hygienic, impersonal and funny. There's food in the kitchen. Hello? I love your voice. What's your name? Jes... Mr. Yes. - You'll never be lonely again. Lusty Terhi will help you. What's wrong? Fine, Mr. Yes. You want to listen? You're on top of me. I can feel something hard against my stomach. Kiss me all over... I'm taking your ah... Isn't this great? Are you still there, Mr. Yes? I'd like to - love, for real. Me too. Time to go home. Tired? No, this is fun. You're a strange Finn. They're usually as lazy as monkeys. Tomorrow's another day. Time to go to the bar. -Karaoke? Sure, karaoke. He comes and goes His roads nobody knows A traveling man he is Nice to see you normal like us. Without the superman stuff. Thank you for the dark motions, Jakki. Next, the indisputable local tango queen: Marjukka! You came like a flame that day Charming, intoxicating You came to me, took my heart I was yours, all yours... Look who's here! The mad loser. You're sitting in my chair. Your place is in the back. Never knew the perils Of the burning flame Never knew it could bum The happiness to ashes I looked into the flame Brilliant and burning You were my only one My universe Always on my mind Operation Ostrich is off the ground. Did you take the scooter? -Yeah, I told him I'm moving. Are you sure he didn't notice anything? -He never does. How's the virginity barometer? No change. Right. You know what? I think you just want to tease us. -No, I don't. I don't think so either. -Sorry. End of conversation. Period. Anything on Jari Litmanen or Mika Hiikkinen in these? There was something about Teemu Selänne in "Gloria". I'm cutting the line to the john. You can lie there until I'm done. Hey, Peeping Tom. Wanna play Batman? Is your Mom home? Get up before they drool this house rotten! -Sure... Did you bring a boy home last night? I couldn't decide which one to take, so I sent them both home. Sounds nasty. -And it is. Why don't you take them both? You could make a hot dog. I'm sorry... Mom! See you. He just came for a shit. Hi there! Jemina, this is Jesse Viljanen, firefighter of the year, retired. Jesse, this is my daughter Jemina, a young bitch. I just came to apologize for calling your Mom Mrs. Hakkarainen. I don't know... You never know, except in here. Remember Pepita the Elephant, Jemina? That's no question to ask a young girl! What's Pepita the Elephant? An elephant. Right. You're both nuts. How old is she now? Are you afraid she's yours? -Is she? She has no father. Would you like some coffee? -Yeah. Give me your hand. I'll read your palm. You have a weird pulse. It's like two parallel rhythms. A steady Finnish hump. And a fiery beat. You're like Iceland: ice on the surface, fire inside. You should show this fire to a red-haired woman. She's been waiting for you for quite a while. Damn you, Jesse! Wrong hole. The balcony will be out there! Move it! I'll come back tonight. -It's a deal. I'm no little girl although I like firefighters. Fight fire with fire. Ouch... I don't think you're up to this. I must fire you. You're just jealous, Peku. You're a fucking tease, bitch! I'll tell everyone not to talk to you. You're a traitor! And you can donate this virginity barometer to the nuns! Can't you just wear women's clothes? This is so embarrassing. You're the one going through people's grocery bags! How do I look? -Like a pervert dying to get laid. Dad... You didn't have to, honey... I'll fight for you. You picked these in the yard. I rang your doorbell. I brought you flowers. Tore them from the ground. I worked! I humiliated myself for you, Marjukka. -Oh boy... You're insatiable! I've got something better in sight, you stupid monkey! You've got a guy here, I can smell it. Go or I'll ask your Mom to get you. Tell him to come out. Hello. Garbage Jesse! This won't do, Jesse. You're far too crazy. And lemma hates you. I'm beginning to understand why. L--- Marjukka. I know this from experience: You need a drink. It's the village fool again. If you're so horny, you can use my current wife. Look! Pervert... Jesse! Damn, damn, damn... Jesse. Did I mess it up again? No, you're crying. It's just the dust in my eyes. I'd like to invite you and your father to dinner, tonight. Goddammit, I'm desperate. I feel dizzy. My thesis is all fucked up. What's wrong with me? Twenty years of research and I have nothing. Are you listening at all? -No. What? What's happening to me? -Jesse to the garbage can! Hi there, old faggot. And plastic bag bimbo. Like father, like son. -Come on. Sorry, guys. Gotta go get laid. He's an asshole womanizer but open about it. -Right! I'd rather keep this monkey - than ruin my life loving a man who plays Batman in ketchup. Right! I'll change my mind as soon as the dogs stop barking - the stars fall off the sky and the flames of the world are down. Did you get it all down? -He did. Women are like that, Jesse. Your mother said the same when she left me. I love Haitian manioki. It's the best. I'd like to make a toast with you, Marie-Claude. Perhaps we'll sing the national song of Haiti together one day. You're wonderful. I don't know you, Dad! -No, you don't. Where's the toilet? Pee out the window. I should brush my teeth. My fiancée has a cold. What's wrong with you, Mom? Go back to sleep. This is it. What's wrong with Jesse now? He's so weird. And you hate him. Are you taking orders from children now? You're nuts. It's too late to regret. -Right. Did you say that she can see into my soul? Relax, Jesse, and let her look. Don't hide from her. Relax, take it easy. Relax... I love your voice. What's your name? I'm no little girl although I like firefighters. What's Pepita the Elephant? I can feel something hard against my stomach. Did you get it all down? Keep it, Superman. I'm really hot all of a sudden. Hello. Is it Lusty Terhi? Wait... I'd just fallen asleep. Okay, try to come fast. I'm trying, Terhi. I'm the secret garden of your lusts. I'm taking off my panties now. My orchid is opening up. Where are you going at this hour, Jemina? Where were we? You said Jemina. -So? Terhi, let's pretend that my name is Jesse. I don't believe it. Remember Pepita the Elephant? Give me some phone sex now. Do I have to, Jesse? I'm fucking paying for this. Fine, let's go then. My pussy is all wet. I can hear you open your zipper. -Right... I see your giant elephant's cock. I want it inside me. I really do. Now it's inside me. -Right. Are you there? There's no one here. Hi, daddy. Are you crazy? What if the boss sees that? Do you like me at all? -I'm not allowed to talk to you. Do you? -Do you know what'll happen - if my vegan friends find out I'm chopping lamb all night? I'm coming. No problem. I'll never sleep with you if you go now. I hate you and your barometer. I'd rather marry Peku than you. I hate you, Peku! Kaitsu, I mean! Any explosives? -Come on! No way. How about the fireworks stuff that got banned? You're a genius! I'll get them. Two rolls of wide duck tape. This is all we've got. One price for all. And here's some fuse. Keep the change. He must be someone famous. Stand back. I'm going to jump. Go ahead, you first. Rm lumping now. Go ahead. I'll wait for my turn. I'm jumping because nobody loves me. Nobody loves me either. I'll get the fireworks going and jump into the garbage can. How could anyone love someone in this world? I'm the least loved person in this world. Me too. Marjukka doesn't love either of us. -No. Let's count to three. One... You could've made a good father for me but Mom's too difficult. Three. You skipped two. I'm sorry. I'll try again. One... Two... I knew you'd chicken out. There's an ostrich down there. -What? Look... Let's make sure there are no feathers on the scooter. Then we're out of here. Do you really think that ostriches would like it here? It's gotta be around here... There it is! It'll soon be a steak, poor ostrich. Let's scare it off. -With what? With these. Here it comes... We'll make you run for your feathers. Senna. The firefighters said that a cigar started the fire. I don't buy it. It was an accident. Let me make you feel better. Think. -No. Please, think. All grown-ups suck. -Right. Let me at least hold you. I'm hurting, Jemina. Jemina speaking. -What are you doing there? Taking care of this fool. -Good. I want to talk to him. -He's sleeping. Taisto is in the hospital. He's about to die. It's high time to come see him. I'll come right away. -Not you, honey. Calm down, Mom. I've got an idea. - What is it? I've always wanted a grandchild. -And I a grandpa. Senna... Give grandpa a kiss. We must find Jesse. I told him that you two are my parents. Shut up and listen. Let him believe it's true. Let him at least die happy. Dad... it's me. I'm a grandfather now. I fired the rocket that burnt you. It wasn't you. It was the fire devil. Put him on a leash, son. He's hallucinating. Morphine often does that. I want to be under the blue sky where the birds sing. -I'll fix it. How are you going to fix that? I don't know but I'll think of something. Will he live till tomorrow? -Maybe. Jesse, wait! Where are you going? I have to find out why I became a firefighter. There are no devils in you! Jesse. Look! Good old Tinky Winky. This is my piece of meat! -Go fuck yourself! Let me handle this, Jemina. -Go handle the garbage! See his "use, Senna? It's red and round like a clown's nose. They must've had a clown for a boss. Let go! I can't breath. My nasal cavities are built that way. No more kiddy games. Get in the garbage can. I'll let go of your nose. Damn you... Need help? Jemina, I've got to go. Peku went to get more birds and the cops took him. You're talking to me again! Peku is out of the game now that he's in the can. Of course he is. Did I, like, win? -Maybe. LEVEL 2 Give him a shot when he wakes up. Remember how? -Yeah. Where am I? -In the bar. It hurts. -Would this help? I'd rather take a bottle of rum. -Coming up. You're a nice girl, Jemina. Marjukka. Your dad's about to die. Who's stroking your hair now? Who's enjoying my happiness? I hope he's better Than I would've been for you My heart still sings for her My red-haired girl she is Although you're not by my side Let my thoughts come to you Silence! In front of this congregation, I'd like to apologize to you, Jesse. Your childhood was ruined because I studied plastic bags. Forgive me, Jesse. I love you. Dad... -What? The fire devil... I've settled my score with him. Really? I'll be damned... Then I can die in peace. Can lemma mm my hand? Yes, she can. Bye then, grandpa. Nice to die when it's not raining. What next? Take good care of Jemina, will you? -I will. She likes you. She's like her Mom. And her Dad. Your flame is burning bright I can see it in your eyes No more had oaths Only a ray of light on the wall When I wake up from our sleep To a bright new sunny day I no longer miss the shadow I want to touch the air Where the antennae Reach for the stars You'll be free to fly The flame won't die It'll just bum my chest Your hand in mine I look at you, touch you I feel the yearning too And secretly I'm in love Where the antennae Reach for the stars You'll be free to fly The flame won't die It'll just bum in my chest Your hand in mine I look at you, touch you I feel the yearning too And secretly I'm in love Subtitles: Jaana Wiik / MOVISION Who said you could walk around like that? - Like what? - Come back here. Why would I do that? Because I told you to. You get up so early. I have to stop that. I really shouldn't walk around here like this. I can't find that red blouse that you bought me. I wanted to wear it. - The one time I need tape. - l put it in the wash. There is tape. It's in the drawer like always. - l wanted to wear it. - We'll put it in the dryer, sweetie. - Oh, my God. - [Lily] What? They're pink. Those were in the washer? - Yeah. I put them in last night. - Oh, my God. I don't think you're supposed to mix colors and khaki stuff. Are you? How do I make them not pink? I don't think you can. - Sorry. - l think they're cool, actually. - You don't have to wear them. - Why did you put them in? I think Atlantor would appreciate seeing a different side of Rick. The pinker side. I don't have to take this abuse. I'm out of here. I hope not in those pants. - Fade-away jump! - Jess. - Oh, just until I make one. - What time is your appointment? Why? My teeth are straight. To justify charging me more money that I don't have. Robert Dumanjik from the District Attorney's office. The District... Oh, yeah, okay, put him through. - [telephone rings] - Hello? Hi, Karen, This is Bob Dumanjik, We haven't met, I'm the, - No, I know who you are. - Oh, good, good, I understand that you're representing that suit against Atlantor, Yes, I wondered if we could talk about it, Talk about what exactly? Well, that's what we'd talk about, But I don't think that I understand. Well, we'd talk about that too, How about tomorrow? What is this about? Should I be expecting a subpoena? Oh, no, no, I just think there are some things that are in our mutual interest to talk about, Let's say 10:00? - Downtown? - If that's okay, - Okay. - Great, See you then, What was that about? I'm trying to figure that out myself. Does this much slate exist? They'll have to dig up Rhode lsland to find this much. - Do they make pink slate? - That's enough. If it doesn't match your pants, I don't want it. Slate is a word that falls apart if you say it more than three times. So 21 ,000 tons of slate by June. - Slate, slate, slate. - Slate is a stone around my neck. - Because you took it for granite. - Right. Cut it out. We're slated to install these interiors... I'm going to do the rest of this job by myself. - Yeah? Rick. - Huh? It's for you. Yeah. Uh... Now? Okay. Miles is here. - l thought I smelled sulfur. - You... shut up. Sammler and associates, I greet you. Sorry for the intrusion, but I needed a word with you, Rick, sooner rather than later. Well, sure, Miles. How was your vacation, by the way? Vacations can only be judged by the degree of discomfiture upon one's return. In this case, the vacation was a grand success. Do you believe in portents, Rick? What do you mean? - How's your filing system here? - Excuse me? You don't keep a lot of old, useless paperwork around, do you? I have found shredders to be quite useful in eliminating clutter. - Miles, what's happening? - Did I say something was happening? If I knew something was happening and I told you, then I might be seen to be conspiring with you, which, of course, I never would. Conspiring with me? About what? Conspiring with you? About what? Miles, are you trying to scare the bejesus out of me? Hard drives are particularly vexing when it's time for spring cleaning, though I understand there's software available for that purpose. - Miles, what is happening? - l'm off to a lunch now. I just thought I'd stop by and say hello and let you know I'm thinking of you. Karen? Hi. I'm Bob Dumanjik. - How are you? - l'm fine. Thanks for coming down. - l know you're really busy. - You do? Well, I assume it. Should I not assume it? Are you secretly lazy? Um, this way. Stop it. Not you. Oh, I'm sorry. Of course, it's always a mess around here. Go ahead and sit. Whoa, whoa! Oh! It's signed. - You like the Bulls? You ever go? - Not often. Oh, okay. So we're doing some stuff on Atlantor. Some stuff? Yeah, stuff, DA Stuff. And because we're great investigators, we discovered you are too. I'm not investigating, I'm trying to get them to stop building this. Cool, to protect the neighborhood. I like it there. I grew up in Bridgeport. - Mr. Dumanjik... - Bob. Are you going to tell me what this is about? You mean about the grand jury? Excuse me? The grand jury we impaneled to investigate Atlantor. lnvestigate what about Atlantor? Well, that would be telling. Wait a minute. A grand jury is investigating Atlantor. And I was hoping you'd be happy about that. This is strange. You can't tell me? What did they do? I was hoping since you've been developing evidence for your own civil case that maybe you could share what you've found in a neighborly way. I... this is... you're going to have to tell me more about this. I have all sorts of constraints, confidentiality issues... And your ex-husband is the architect. - What do you want? - l'm on your side, I swear. I'm gonna tell you as soon as I can. It's in the best interest of your case if we can cooperate. I need to know what you're trying to do. We're trying to do what we always try to do... put bad guys in jail. including my ex-husband? I have no idea, and that's the truth. And if I don't cooperate? Well, I'll get anxious and depressed, start offering you jobs down here or something or vacation property. Just kidding. To tell you the truth, I don't know what I'd do if you don't cooperate. [knock on door] - Hey. - Hey, sweetie. I'll be back down in a second. She... she ate. Good. How much? Enough. So how's it going? You're asking me that? Sorry. What? - What what? - l'm asking you. Well, I don't understand. You're... you're asking me what? I don't know what I'm asking you. Rick, we really can't talk about this. Karen, Karen, I know something's happening. If you know what it is, I think you have a responsibility to tell me. Excuse me. Any responsibility I might have is to my clients. - So there is something? - You trying to trick me? I can't have this conversation. - lf there's a conversation to be had... - Ready! All right, see ya, Mom. Mm-hmm. See ya. All right, Dad, let's go. [Jessie] lf l get something long, I couldn't dance. [Lily] I love this, you don't need a longer one. - What about yours? - l'll find it a week after the wedding. I'm just going to go on the record right now to say I really don't like salmon. Would you look at how beautiful your daughter is? - Don't I know it. - Dad hates all fish. - That is untrue. - [Eli] Just have pizza. - We can have pizza for the kids. - Are we getting paid? - Can we pay you not to play? - [knock on door] Since Eli's friends are playing, would you like to invite your friends? - No, thank you. - Somebody want to get the door? I didn't know planning a wedding would be such a big deal. - You'll find out soon. - l'm not getting married till I'm 40. - You mean when you're old? - Sorry. She'll be lucky to get married. You'll be lucky to avoid getting married. - To who? - Don't ask. - You're expendable. - Eli's in love. - Would you like to bring her? - You know her. Gracie's friend Carla. Oh, my goodness. Really? She's so lively. Yeah, lively, that's her. - She's bizarro. - That's you. - You're welcome to bring her, Eli. - Okay, I'll ask her. Dad, did you read my essay? When you write it, I'll read it. Oh, my God, that reminds me. That money for the pictures was due yesterday. If you'll give me the form like I keep asking... Oh, Rick what is it? I've been subpoenaed to appear. Subpoenaed? To appear where? Before a grand jury investigation of the Atlantor project. [Rick] No. You're right. Walter, this is unbelievable. Okay. All right. You'll call her first thing? Thanks. Bye. - Walter can't represent me on this. - Why not? Because it's criminal. I don't understand why they want to talk to you. I told you, I don't know why. - Rick, I'm not the enemy. - l'm sorry. It's just I don't know what's happening and I suspect that Karen does. - Karen is behind this? - She wouldn't tell me. Maybe she wasn't allowed to. Miles? It's Rick, again. Uh, call me as soon as you get this. It doesn't matter what time. Rick, it's okay. Rick, come here. Please? I know this is going to be okay. I know who you are. I know how you conduct yourself. Whatever these people may have done, it doesn't concern you. Hello, Rick? Hi. Stephanie Arlyn. I'm sorry. We were wrapping up a deposition. That's okay. - This is my associate, James Davis. - Hi. He specializes in corporate crime. I can imagine what you're going through, but we'll get you past this. Now, Walter told me a little bit, but why don't you come on in here and fill me in? Well, uh, I'm not exactly sure what to tell you. I don't even know what a grand jury is. Am I going to be indicted? Do I have to testify? I don't know what indicted means. Okay, hold on. We'll just take it from the beginning. A grand jury is just a jury, regular people. Usually older, retired people 'cause they're the only ones with time. [James] A jury to investigate, not judge. Think of it as a fishing expedition. - With a really wide net. - But what are they fishing for? Have you seen anything irregular, bribes, kickbacks, extortion, safety violations? - And the things I share with you? - Stay with me. They're protected by attorneylclient privilege. So tell us the truth and then we'll figure out what to do with it. And you'll be there with me when I testify? - Unfortunately, no. - You're kidding. Strange things, grand juries, kind of un-American, really, their proceedings are held in secret. You do not have the right to counsel, though what you say may be used against you if you're indicted. So, what should we know? I need to say something right here because I had to deal with this a long time ago. In the real world and, certainly, in the construction business, there is a difference between what's legal and what's ethical. - Do you want to explain that? - Yeah, I do. I would never, and I have never, done anything, or would let anyone near me do anything that would jeopardize another human being or line my own pockets, period. But there are times in business when you cannot move forward unless you play by somebody else's rules. Are you asking me did I turn my head, did I look the other way when I knew it should take six weeks to get a safety permit, and somehow it came in two? Who gets precedence when there aren't enough concrete trucks to cover the work we're doing? Or how many skilled mechanics are actually needed on a job this size, as opposed to how many the union makes us use? Am I going to be indicted for the doing my job the same way every architect does his? - ls that what this is about? - We don't know. All we can do is prepare you for the possibilities. Well, do you want me to admit what I just said if I'm asked? Our President gave us all a great lesson on that a couple of years ago. The dumbest thing you can ever do is lie to a grand jury. [telephone rings] Yes? Now? Okay. Send him in. Hi, Karen. I hope this isn't barging in, but I was in the neighborhood. I had to pick up some basketball uniforms. - Oh. - Uh, yeah. The uniforms these kids have, they're as good as the pros'. - lt's unbelievable. - ls this for your son? Huh? Oh, no, I'm not of the parental persuasion. I just coach at St. Cecilia's. Oh. Well, that's very good. Yeah. Well, we're... At the moment, we're 2 and 8. We lost four starters to high school, but we're on the upswing. Great. So since I was in the neighborhood, I was... Well, I thought maybe we could continue our conversation. Well, let's just say that I'm ready for you to continue your part of the conversation, and I'll decide whether or not I'm ready to respond. Are you a lawyer? Okay, so you tried to save this building. You got a TRO. May I? Uh, and you tried to make it stick, and what did you think your chances were of getting a permanent injunction? Pretty good. That's a lawyerly phrase. I like its specificity. What do you want? How good was your case? It was very good. We discovered there had been a verbal agreement by the occupants to purchase the building. Sounds good, yet the judge threw it out on its merits. How did you feel about that? - Was I sad? - Okay, were... - Were you surprised? - There's something that I missed? I can't imagine someone of your ability could've missed anything. Well, then, what's the point of asking whether or... Oh, my God. - They bought the judge. - Bite your tongue. This is a public official we're talking about. - God, that's what this is about. - lmagine a powerful corporation supporting justice to serve their own ends. lt's shocking. My ex-husband would never agree to any of that. The lady doth protest too much. I haven't mentioned your ex-husband. You're going after my ex-husband unless I cooperate? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. I haven't made any threats. I'm the one who needs help here. Okay, what exactly do you want? What have you got? Who were the Atlantor players? What was the chain of command? Who is this Miles Drentell? - Who interfaced with the community? - Other people were bribed? Did any witnesses lose interest? How good are your records? - Very good. - Like you never throw anything away. Well, I have been called a pack rat on occasion. By your ex-husband? No. That's the pot calling the kettle black. You still like him. Excuse me? Did I say that? I'm sorry... Can I see these records? You'll see everything that I find appropriate for you to see. Wait. Remember, if I take the big guys down, this project goes down with them. I understand. Um, cool. Cool! Now I get to go yell at 1 2-year-olds. Um, Karen, thank you. Uh... This is a good thing you've just done. Well, I hope so. [Rick] And you called him at home? And you still have the messages from yesterday? I need to know if he's getting these messages or not. Okay, well, look, if he calls in, just tell him again. [dialing] - Who are you calling? - Uh, Miles. You've called 700 times since yesterday. Cell phone. Oh, well, that makes it all make sense. I think Miles may be in flight. He just got back from vacation. As in fleeing. A fugitive from justice. Should I put a hold on the concrete? Judy, I'm not allowed to talk about it. Because I'm not. If you could please respect that. Lily, I need you to come in here for a second. - How much do you know about it? - Excuse me? - Lily. - What? Stop pretending. You know what I'm talking about. I don't know what you're doing. Whatever it is, I don't want to talk about it. For a little magazine, we have very good sources. You want to know why? I am relentless and driven. I make it easier for them to tell than to resist me. I know about the grand jury. I know about Rick's indictment. lndictment? He hasn't even appeared. - That's just what I hear. - From who? And you're going to print this? I thought I should let you know. You're going to print an article that says Rick is going to be indicted when you haven't interviewed him, and you are not naming any sources? I can't. The testimony's sealed. You are not going to print this. Because it's a lie. - You know it's a lie? - lt's a lie. - How? - How do you think? He told me. He has done nothing wrong, and I will not be party to anything that might hurt him, not to mention protecting you in a libel suit. Whoa. Lily. Ferocious in defense of her man. I'm serious. - And what if you're wrong about him? - l'm not. I'm just not. Okay. I'll get corroboration from another source. Thank you. All right, Dad, what did we do wrong this time? Nothing. I just... I have something I have to tell you guys. is somebody sick? No, sweetie, it's nothing like that. Something has happened at work, or because of work, and I don't know that it's bad yet. It's too soon to tell, but it might be bad. - You're going broke? - No, but I suppose it could happen. - There's an investigation of Atlantor. - By the police? Sort of, yeah. It's called a grand jury. - [Eli] That's serious. - [Jessie] Do you get arrested? No, honey. No, no. It's not like that. [Jessie] Then what's wrong? Well, I'm not exactly sure, and that's part of the problem. There are some people who could be arrested, - l guess. - But not you. Well, there's nothing they would arrest me for. We should not worry about this before anything... You're saying you could be arrested? Well, anything's possible, E, but, no, I really don't think that that's what this is about. Jess, honey, listen, listen to me. I do not think anything bad is going to happen, okay? I can't guarantee you that, and I'm sorry. That's why I'm even telling you guys this to begin with, because, you know, when things like this happen, sometimes people talk about them. You might hear something at school, or you might see Miles or even me on television, and I just wanted to prepare you for it. I don't understand. Why would you be arrested? Well, I don't know, and that's just it. It's possible that some people connected with this project did bad things. That you didn't know about. That I did not know about. - Why would you be arrested? - l'm not going to be arrested. I'm not going to be arrested. I do not want you to worry about this, all right? I'm just trying to prepare you in case people talk about it. Okay? - Yeah, okay. - Yeah? Okay? It's really okay. I have to leave anyway. No, it's ready. If I could find the syrup... lf we have it, it's in that cabinet right there. - Of course. - [knock on door] That's Mom. - Hey. - Hey, sweetie. - Are you all ready to go? - Yeah, I was, um... - Oh, hi. - Hi, Karen. They're ready. I was just giving Jessie some waffles. - Well, that's... - l'll get my stuff. Okay. Should I? Do we have... You take a second. You go ahead and eat. I'm still trying to find where everything is in this house. Oh, congratulations, by the way. Thank you. Have you guys set, or maybe you haven't... - Oh, May 1 2th. - Well, that will be beautiful then. Thank you. I need to get ready myself, actually. You don't need any more, do you, Jessie? - Oh, no. - Here you go. - Hey, you. - l'll be down in a couple of minutes. Jess, you almost ready? Yeah, I just have to get my things. I can't get him to tell me what's going on. - He's hiding something? - l think he's terrified, ashamed, and he doesn't want me to worry. But he's not hiding something. I don't know. You're the one who thinks he's been a criminal the whole time. - You said you didn't trust him. - l didn't trust him emotionally. You don't get sent to prison for that. Oh, God. Prison? Oh, God, don't even say that word. Honey, it's okay. I know it's going to be okay, really. How does everything change in a day? It's probably just business stuff, you know? Cutting corners and inspectors. Remember Daddy used to bribe inspectors. He did not. He left an envelope of $20 bills in the kitchen so they could take it. He did? But his kitchen was unbelievably clean. You have to pay in order to stay in business. You think that's what Rick did? How do I know? But it's a pretty big project, so who knows how many people might want a piece? Don't worry. I hear those white-collar prisons are okay. They play golf with millionaires. Municipal waiting rooms can be so dreary. - l thought you'd left town. - Why would I do that? Why haven't you returned my calls? - To protect the innocent. - And who does that include? Whomever you want it to. All right, look, do you understand how much I have riding here? My career, my whole life? This is scary. lt's really scary for me, Miles, and I need to ask you, do I have anything to worry about? Did you do anything wrong? All right, look, the second permit for the high-rise, it was supposed... Shh, shh. [ classical music playing] lt was supposed to take six weeks. It took 1 0 days. I didn't ask questions. Should I have? You know, I was once a boy scout myself. We brought concrete from Indiana. I don't remember a sales tax. Was there one, or was it made to dematerialize? How come the union allowed us to use 50 mechanics when their contract stipulated 1 00 on a job this size? Why would I know any of this? Wasn't all this your job? I didn't make these things happen. Somebody else did. I've tried not to ask who. - So you don't know? - What are you saying to me? A lawyer once told me you can't be convicted of perjury for something you didn't say. What are you talking about perjury? What is going on? I have to tell the truth about what I know. And so you shall. And that's it? You have nothing more to say, nothing to warn me about, nothing to help me to know what to expect? They really could have come up with a more attractive plaza to represent our city, don't you think? Rick. Where you're standing right now used to be a mountain range, and before that, an ocean. Keep that in mind. All things pass away. [sighs] - What are you doing here? - Hey, Dad. - You're supposed to be in school. - l ditched. Sorry. E, what are you doing here? I thought you might need some company. I lied to my father once. It was three months before he died. I'd stolen his car keys and taken the car around the block even though I was only 1 4. Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, so help you God? I do. My dad went out the next morning, and I had parked the car a foot back from where he had, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out how he noticed that. [Bob clears his throat] And, uh, this contract dated October 8th, this is for more concrete? Uh, yeah. Yes. And is, uh, this your signature on the bottom? Yes, it is. Well, your signature's more illeg... ille... illegible than mine. So, um, isn't there usually a sales tax denoted on receipts? Uh, I guess so. Can't say I noticed. You guess so. You can't say. Hmm. Yes or no? You're in business. You're familiar with sales tax. is sales tax a part of every transaction or not? Yes, it is. So you or someone connected to the project broke the law here. Mr. Dumanjik, I'm the architect, not the contractor. I may have signed for delivery of materials, but I was not charged with paying the bill or handling any of the paperwork. Did you check to see that the tax was paid? - No. - Why not? If I paid attention to every detail, I'd never get my real work done. So paying tax isn't part of your real work? No, not mine. No, it isn't. My real work is seeing that the building is safely and correctly built. And when my dad asked me, the look on his face was so scary, I just... I lied right to his face. "No, Dad, I didn't take the car." And that was it. So I'm confused because I see this permit, and it's dated February 23rd. Then that's when it came in. I was never very good at math. That's nine days. Didn't you tell me that level of permit takes seven weeks normally? lssuing of permits is the city's responsibility. I'm given to understand that in extremely rare circumstances, and almost never in the city of Chicago, people have been known to pay bribes in order to have these permits speeded up. If you're accusing me, I'd like to see your evidence. The room's small for a high horse, Mr. Sammler. This is a grand jury. We're chasing down facts. Any accusations will come later. But if you had any information regarding the bribing of any official say, a county judge who was asked to rule on a temporary injunction, - we'd better know about it. - Excuse me? Were you aware that Judge Piwowarczyk, who ruled on the temporary restraining order sought by the firm of Harris, Reigert, and Sammler, was captured on videotape accepting a bribe from a man by the name of JD Gummersall? I was not. You've never met Mr. Gummersall nor had any conversation with anyone or knowledge of anyone with the intent to influence a decision in county court? And think very carefully before you answer. I remind you, perjury is a felony, Mr. Sammler. No. No to all of it. No. I was never punished, except for the fact that he wouldn't look at me or speak to me for an entire week. It was the longest week of my life. And you've given us copies of all these contracts? Uh, yeah. We only had 48 hours, but my lawyer and I have done the best we could. Are there other documents? I don't see any e-mails between you and Mr. Drentell after December. I... We're... We changed computer systems, uh, in December, I think it was, because we couldn't handle the volume of a job this size. It's possible that some e-mails were misplaced at that time. - Or destroyed. - They were not destroyed. - You keep copies of correspondence? - l do. They're all there. - They're not. - l'll check into it. How hard? If you want to accuse me of perjury, you go ahead, but otherwise... I understand you're a pack rat when it comes to keeping things. We'll keep this part of the inquiry open while Mr. Sammler checks into materials he needs. [Bob fading] Now, in March, there was a disagreement between the corporation... [Lily] I don't understand why they have to make it adversarial. [Rick] They're looking for people to put in jail. - [Grace] Good night, Mom, Rick. - Good night, honey. - Good night, Grace. - Five hours? It felt like five days. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I don't care what they say. These people can make putting on your pants seem like a criminal conspiracy. Forget it. You had to be in the room to understand. Okay. Sorry. - Did something happen in this room? - l just told you what happened. I know, but you sounded like you were afraid, like something happened. I don't know if you're afraid you can't tell me or that you have to protect me. I mean, I just... - l don't know what I'm saying. - You know that I'm with you, right? I mean, God forbid you were to get indicted or, worst-case scenario... - l don't know, that... - Say it. - Say what? - Go ahead. Say it. Worst-case scenario, I go to prison. - That's not what I'm saying. - That is what you were saying. - Am I going to prison? - You're not. If I am, then how does that affect you and your kids - and whether you marry me or not? - No. I would think about it too. You should be, because I sure am. You're scaring me now. I don't want to talk to you when you're like this. It's okay. I... I feel like I should go home, anyway. - l don't think you should. - Please. Rick, please, I didn't mean to start anything like this. Please just let me hold you. You need to sleep. Lil, I'll call you. It'll be okay. lt will. You wouldn't want to be a flower girl. [Zoe] How would you know? You're supposed to look like a robot who marches up the aisle dropping rose petals. - What's wrong with that? - l'm so glad you're not making this complete spectacle with this wedding. What if you have two flower girls, me and Jessie? Mom? - Mom. - lt's okay. What's the matter? Nothing. I'll tell you later. Mom, are you okay? [whispering] No. No, honey, I'm not, but I will be. Oh, Mom. I'm okay. - [woman] Karen Sammler's here, - Oh, great. Oh, uh, how you doing? [stammering] I want you to know how much I appreciate this. - l'm not doing this for you. - l didn't mean... - lt's for my clients. - Of course. And I need something from you in return. I didn't know you engage in back-scratching. Excuse me? I'm sorry. Go ahead. I want to know what your intentions are. Excuse me? - ln regards to Rick Sammler. - Well, I like him as a friend. Are you capable of being serious? Karen, this is a sealed investigation. You think I could answer a question like that? We know he had nothing to do with conspiring to suborn judges or anyone. You know him that well? I want to know he's not going to be indicted. That's not up to me. It's up to 1 6 people who will make that decision. - Whom you will influence. - lf they're not prejudiced or idiots. - Whom you will influence. - Karen, I... I don't want to say how much I actually like you, so I won't, but... I'm sorry. I believe in what I do just as you believe in what you do. I swore an oath, which I spent a lot of years upholding, and I cannot stop now, and I wouldn't ask you to, either. And I would completely understand if you were to walk away with those right now. Go home, chief. [Amanda] Oh, hi. How are you? Well, you know, he's back there. My name is Ozymandias, King of kings. Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair. I'm sorry, Rick. Truly sorry. And that's a word I don't say very often, believe me. What are you sorry for, Miles? Are you sorry for the payoffs? Are you sorry for the bribes? Or are you just sorry you got caught? I'm sorry that my sepulchre may be too late. Your sepulchre? We may not have many opportunities to speak in the near future. I owe you an explanation. - You're losing me, Miles. - No, you're losing me. - Where the hell you going this time? - Ha. That is actually quite funny. I'll send a report once I get there. Are you telling me that you know the outcome of this investigation? I know my outcome. Fourth-stage pancreatic carcinoma. Amusing, isn't it, how we're all hostage to the politics of scale? - You have cancer? - Look at this. For months, this has been the vessel of our ambition, yours and mine, and now in a day, it's nothing more than bits of cardboard and balsa wood held together with children's glue. - ls there no cure? - For ambition? No. For my other disease, apparently not, either. Why did you come here, Miles? To tell you that what you did was remarkable, even if no one ever sees it but me. [Jessie laughing] [Jessie] Yeah. [Jessie and Karen talking] - [Karen] Oh, that is way too big. - No, it isn't. lt's fine. Ow. Okay. Oh, Dad's here. I gotta go. I love you, Mommy. [Karen] I love you too. - Hey. - You set to go? Mm-hmm. Let's go. You can call the Romans a lot of things, but stupid isn't one of them. Okay, well, not really stupid, but, all right, they built roads, and they had a million armies, but all they did was enslave and conquer people. - What about their system of law? - Oh, great. They introduced law to barbarians, but how did the barbarians feel about that? All their art was copied from the Greeks, all their philosophies were stolen from the Greeks. The gods were stolen from the Greeks. They just gave them different names. Think of one thing that they did that was original. They didn't even invent Christianity. If I was a Roman, I would be so ashamed of myself, I couldn't show my face in the Coliseum. [Lily] Pasta's ready! Eli, you have to save me from Dad! I'll set the table. Don't worry. Thank you, Jessie. We're gonna get through this, whatever happens. Rick, whatever happens. Did she actually cook for us? That's pretty cool. - [knock on door] - l got it. Cook County Sheriff's Department. We have a warrant to search. [Jessie] What's going on? - Are you Richard Sammler? - l am. We have a warrant. is there another computer? - No, just the kids'. - Take that too. - [Jessie] My report! - Sweetie. What are you looking for? It's in the warrant, read it. Have your family stand aside. - Can they do this? - Oh, yeah. - Oh, my God. - Hey, watch it! Sir, listen, stand aside now. [man] into the back bedroom. Look, Rick, I've just come from the DA's office. Where you've been spending a lot of time. Mason Gould is on 3. - The opportunity to clear your name. - On TV? - You didn't know about the bribes? - No, absolutely not. I want the two of us to face this like people who love each other do. I can't do that right now. Ripped By mstoll Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Oh, it's you. Yes. What is it? I'm supposed to command a "human" team. Even if you aren't human anymore, do you still crave a man at night? Has the new commander arrived at his post? We transferred him from SAS. He seems capable. May God and Her Majesty, the Queen, bless you. - Amen. - Amen. Walter, what is this about? You've made Hamchunk's "A" Club. You funny! You not. This is Hamchunk. He's become a permanent fixture here. He's an orphan. Lived with some missionaries about 10 clicks south of here till they were assassinated. Maybe you could use an interpreter. - Missionaries taught him English. - I don't want an interpreter. You number one. I choose you. I don't want to be chosen. - I don't think you have much choice. - Choice, Mr. Hobson? I haven't had a choice since I was selected for this outfit. You get used to me. You funny. - You... - In here. What's the status of your crew-served weapons? We have two 81 s, four 60s twelve .30 calibers, three on each wall. One 4-deuce. Besides crew-served, we have six M-79's. No .50 calibers? I'd give an R and R in Bangkok for the smell of a .50. KIRBY: You hear that, sergeant? - Yes, sir. - Know where there are any .50's? MULDOON: No, sir. Neither do I. You better tell Sergeant Petersen. I almost forgot. Captain MacDaniel needs corrugated tin. - It's been hard to come by lately. - Sergeant. Yes, sir. I know. "Tell Petersen. Tell the scrounger." Petersen! What happens if Charlie hits this camp before you get it completed? If he does, and he's too strong for us to handle we have 3 LZs within 4 clicks to send 10 choppers each to reinforce us. One is by that shale cliff you saw on your way in. And the second is to the west of here near a deserted Montagnard village where some of these people used to live. The third is to the north, near an old bridge. What if Charlie overruns the camp? In that case, sir the camp is prepared to escape and evade on order through places in the wire and mines only "A" Team and Captain Nim know about. - My compliments. - Thank you, sir. Commander of this area runs everything by the book. And I am with him to the nth degree. And every piece of this equipment will be painted. And every piece of this equipment will be numbered. And every... What in the hell is that? BECKWORTH: You make good coffee. - Cholong coffee. AMA: More coffee, sergeant? MULDOON: No, thanks. GRIFFIN: Brother! Boy, is it miserable out there! And believe me, it's sure in hell stay-awake weather. Don't you men have rain gear? Yeah, but it doesn't do any good in this lousy climate. COLLIER: Skipper! Savoy 3 is on the horn, sir. Savoy 3 to Savoy 6. NIM [OVER RADIO]: This is Savoy 3. I'm nearing home base. I've thrown smoke. Can you identify? COLEMAN: I see the red smoke. Come on in. Out. COLEMAN: Give them a hand. - Morning, Max, Collier. - Morning, sir. - Hell of a mess! - Looks like we'll float away. What's this outfit coming in? COLEMAN: That's Captain Nim, your counterpart with a patrol that just got zapped. - Joe. - Yes, sir. Alert the dispensary. Tell them casualties are coming in. L'll go find Colonel Kirby. It was a close one. LIEUTENANT: Get those casualties over to the dispensary. Let's go. Snap it up! The rest of you get some dry clothes and chow. Report for debriefing. Move it out! Fill me in. As you know, we were hit yesterday. Three casualties. This is sure Charlie's weather! But they didn't follow us. - You sure? - Affirmative. Skipper, I would like to look after my casualties. Sure. Come on. KIRBY: What's the situation? COLEMAN: He's all right. MEDIC: More painful than serious, sir. Colonel, I want you to meet the camp commander. - Oh! - Dai Uy Nim. KIRBY: Stay where you are, Dai Uy. Tran Nim. I've read your name on many reports. You're very active. We try, sir. Meet your new counterpart, Captain MacDaniel. Welcome. We will have a good post here when it is finished. MacDANIEL: I've no doubt, Dai Uy. Your outfit looks pretty beat up. - Eleven days is a long patrol. - We're short of men. We've got everything we need except strikers. What seems to be the trouble? The natives have been so exploited, they won't trust anyone with a gun. Same old story. How many villages are there in the vicinity? We've got 7. There were 5. And we've got 2 in camp. If you got all the villagers in, what would that do for you? That'd give us 300-500. Better get on the Psy War about this. NIM: When you leave, Dai Uy? Tomorrow. Hopefully. Da Nang, Nha Trang, Saigon and home! My home is in Hanoi. I go home too someday. You see. First, kill all stinking Cong. Then go home. Will there be anything else? That's all, Nim. NIM: Thank you, sir. He sounds like he means it. He keeps score on the wall of his hooch. He personally greased 52 this year. Says he'll double it if all the 'Yards will get out of his way and give him a clear field of fire. I noticed a load of corrugated tin's miraculously appeared overnight. Sergeant Petersen provided it. A good man you got there. Sergeant Petersen say where he got it? He said the good fairy left it. I hope he said, "The good fairy left it, sir!" Captain, will you join us in the commo bunker? MacDANIEL: Good evening, colonel. KIRBY: Relax. Sit down. - My, it's a beautiful evening. MacDANIEL: That it is. MULDOON: Captain Nim. NIM: Thank you. This would be great country if it weren't for the war. And the damn monsoons. Give me a beer, Petersen. You won it all. PARKS: Mr. Petersen? - Yeah. Why ain't you in this game? Mr. Beckworth showed him 3 aces. Be sure and check the guard roster before you turn in. MEN: Yes, sir. - Good night. MEN: Good night, sir. Where's McGee? Doc, you got the 4-to-6 watch. Delightful. Thank you. Jim Beam! You're not feeding him that stuff? You sure it's good for him? You questioning my professional competence? He sure looks bad. He's dying, poor old thing. - Can't even eat anymore. - What seems to be wrong? I'm not the best doctor in the world, but I'm the best one without a license. My diagnosis is plague, tuberculosis, old age and no hope. He's tired. Bone tired. SOLDIER: The captain's in there! Check the damage in the dispensary! Everything's all right here, colonel! A near miss, but nobody hurt. - I think they've stopped. - Yes, sir. This is the usual procedure. About every other night. Harassment. It's pretty good shooting. Commo bunker, the dispensary, the team house. It's a sure thing that they have eyes inside our camp. MacDANIEL: Check your gear. Commo bunker was hit. Lieutenant Green, form a recon patrol, ASAP! GREEN: Petersen, come with me. MacDANIEL: Who is it? Lt's the captain, sir. Better move him out of there. Colonel Kirby! KIRBY: Yo! Be right there. He was going to go home tomorrow, wasn't he, sir? All the way. PILOT: What do we got, 10 pounders? GREEN: 10-pound warheads, sir. MULDOON: Ready to go hunting? PILOT: Be a couple of minutes yet. We'll be gone about 3 hours. Mind the store. Don't worry. SAVO Y 8 [OVER RADIO]: Two-niner Savoy. This is Savoy 8. Over. Savoy 8, this is Savoy 5. Over. This is Savoy 8. I'm nearing the camp. Have thrown smoke. Identify. Savoy 8, this is Savoy 5. I see green smoke. Come on in. Out. We better get out of the way. Those choppers are very important out here, aren't they? Couldn't win this war without them. Captain. I'm sort of new out here. What's this all about? Muldoon and MacDaniel, in those choppers fly low over the treetops and hope to draw V.C. Gunfire. You mean there are V.C. That close? Yes. Mr. Beckworth, I have V.C. In my own strike force. Pardon me. I have to check the perimeter. There they are, building a boat bridge. MacDANIEL: They're not Cong, they're hard-core regulars. Petersen you worry me. Three tours of duty and you're still acting like a civilian. Sergeant Muldoon, I'm not a Marine. I believe in my comfort. We got the tin. What about the .50 caliber? Don't worry. Next drop. How'd you do it? A guy in Khe Sahn wanted 2 cases of bourbon. Bourbon! How'd you get 2 cases of bourbon? From a straight leg in supply in Bien Hoa. - Yeah? - Yeah. Why would he give you that much booze? He didn't give it to me. I traded him for it. Traded him what? I traded him a Montagnard crossbow a number one address on Chu Do Street and a pair of Ho Chi Minh sandals. And where did you get a pair of Ho Chi Minh sandals? I made them. I work hard. I've gone to church. I was a Boy Scout. I was an Eagle Scout! He's funny! How did you get in here? Where do you sleep? Where's...? Anywhere. All right, come here. JAMISON: Colonel Kirby? KIRBY: Affirmative! Lt. Jamison, 91 st Navy Seabee detachment out of Cho Min. This is Captain MacDaniel. We'd have come sooner, but the Marines wanted a strip up north. It's going to get a little hairy around here, Lieutenant so we're glad to see you, late or not. The rest of my outfit will be coming with the heavy equipment. They set it down right where the work is. - How's that, sir? - Could you move that jungle back for us? Just say the word, and I'll move it to China. We don't need that much. Just a clear killing zone. - Will do, sir. - Watson! Arrange pads. How many men? - Thirteen. - Lucky number. Thirteen. Hop to it! - I'd like to run an equipment check. - Go ahead. Sight for sore eyes. That thing sure does a day's work! Easier than mowing the lawn. Everybody's as busy as little bees. Hello, Charlie. Get me Captain Nim and Colonel Kirby! NIM: What are the charges? He was pacing off the distance between the wall and the team house. We could've caught a round tonight. I certainly hope you can prove that, sergeant. [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] Easy, Tran. Kowalski. [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] - Muldoon? - Sir? He was a hell of a soldier, sir. Yeah. Is that what you do? Sponsor an inquisition over here? - Is that what you'll tell the people? - L'll tell what I saw. - That was nothing. - Brutality's not nothing. That man was lining us up for a V.C. Mortar crew. There's still due process. Out here, due process is a bullet. I want you to keep that lighter. It belonged to a medical specialist in Captain Coleman's team. After delivering a Montagnard baby, he was on his way back to camp and... His friends found him about 3 clicks out. Beheaded, mutilated. His wife couldn't have recognized him. And that V.C. In there did it! That has nothing to do... Tell it to Captain Coleman. And shout it loud because Arlington Cemetery's a long way from here. DOC: Next. Now what is it this time? That old ear bothering you? Methiolate. I'm not going to hurt you one bit. Now just hold still. That's it. Don't move. There. Now that's my good girl. Candy. That's for you. Take it. That's it. Next. What is it this time? Want me to take a look? Depressor. Now that's a big boy. You know something? You're all well. Candy. Here, that's for you. [CHIEF SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] Montagnards, sir. The old man's chief of the main village. Great! [CHIEF SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] BECKWORTH: L'll take her. DOC: Right here will do it. Little girl's his granddaughter. She stepped on a Punji stick. He's afraid she's going to die. - How is it? - It's a nasty wound and it's infected. But if we can control it, she'll be all right. Good as new. Pretty tough way to find out about Punji sticks. BECKWORTH: Sure is. [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] This is the Chieftain of the village. Does he speak English? NIM: No, sir. He must trust us. How's that, sir? Letting Sergeant McGee take care of his granddaughter. - Tell him to come in. - I did, sir. And they won't. Then why did he come to us for help? [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] He says papers fall from the sky. [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] Papers say white man long nose, round eyes, called Americans help Montagnards. But Viet Cong say our papers lie. Pardon me, sir. You like this? She's a woman, isn't she? [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] She said she won't ever take it off. And don't you take this off either. Now you make your old granddad bring you back when this is dirty and I'll put a clean one on for you. [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] That's a good girl! [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] He says the Viet Cong takes all the rice, pigs and chickens and forces the young men to fight. He hates the Cong. Tell him if he'll bring his people in with us that we'll give them protection, money and food. [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] What's he saying? He said, "What's money?" How do you answer that? [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] KIRBY: Sergeant McGee? I think the United States Army can spare a litter. Working on it, sir. [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] [CHIEF SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] He says you're very kind. Tell him if his people are afraid that we'll go out and get them. [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] [CHIEF SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] Captain MacDaniel will take a patrol out tomorrow morning and pick them up. [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] He says he'll deal with you alone. He'll come with you and you only. Tomorrow morning at sunrise, or never. That's pretty positive. Sunrise it is. [MULDOON SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] [CHIEF SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] KOWALSKI: Here's another one. Let's move out. KIRBY: Freeze! You suppose that old chief is wearing more than one face? I don't think so. But we're sure going to respect your hunch. We'll back off to the river again and make a detour. DOC: Cut him down. NIM: Do you want to hear the story, sir? I know the story, but go ahead. Charlie came in the night to take the young men. Most of them listened to the chief and refused to go. They killed the chief. And did this as a reminder to anyone who resisted them. How many of them were there? And where did they go? [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] Safe across the border. What happened to the little girl? [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] What did she say? Five Viet Cong soldiers took her in the jungle. They didn't bring her back. It's no use. L'll do what has to be done. It's pretty hard to talk to anyone about this country until they've... The last village that I visited they didn't kill the chief. They tied him to a tree brought his teenage daughters out in front of him and disemboweled them. Then 40 of them abused his wife. And then they took a steel rod. Broke every bone in her body. Somewhere during the process she died. PETERSEN: These people need better medical care than we can give them. NIM: Where is Colonel Kirby? PETERSEN: L'll find him. [NIM SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] Colonel? We got 3 people who can make it if we get them to a hospital. Send for my chopper. I can take 3. Coming along? I'm staying. MacDANIEL: I see them, Dai Uy. NIM: Pardon me. PETERSEN: Weapons check in 30 minutes! Fall out! [SERGEANT SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] HAMCHUNK: Petersen! PETERSEN: Charlie's building caskets and ladders. A lot of them. How far away? About 15 clicks. That gives us plenty to do before they get here. Restrict all operations to within 4 clicks of the camp. - Will systems be operational by dark? - Affirmative. May I suggest we contact "C" Team? See about the weather. - Petersen? - Yeah. What was all that about ladders and coffins? When Charlie knows he's got a nice box to be buried in, he's just as brave as hell. The ladders? They throw the ladders across the wire to get at us. Later they use them for litters. By "later" you mean when everybody's dead? Everybody. Women. Children. Everybody. Come on, Hamchunk. [WOMAN SINGING IN FRENCH] You like? What is there not to like? Who is she? Her name's Lin. Her father was chief of the Hang Pham Province. Until he refused to cooperate with the Viet Cong. - And then they killed him? - They murdered him. And her little brother. In a most hideous way. That's their style. Besides being one of our top models she could be most helpful to our government. Are you trying to tell me something, colonel? That gentleman seated with her. He's a double agent. He works for us and for General Pham Son Ti. Then tell me, colonel who will she be helpful to? [SINGING] Colonel Morgan, there's a big buildup around Camp A-107. It could be the real thing. They've requested tac air and a flare ship. MORGAN: That's fine. Keep us informed. Captain MacDaniel had a word for you. - What is it? - Tabasco. I've never known Captain MacDaniel to run scared. I'd kind of like to eyeball this situation. Don't get killed. I don't want anything upsetting my plans for going home. L'll give you full cooperation. Good night. You didn't get a chance to give him the whole story. L'll arrange another meeting. MacDANIEL: Kowalski! Kill that light! You better check the gun placements again. I'm going to have a look-see. Over there. A heavy concentration to the south. Let's see what Starlight-Starbright has to say. That's a ruse. Kowalski, MacDaniel, pass the word. Quietly. Strengthen the north wall. I repeat: Strengthen the north wall. Out. KOWALSKI: Every third man, north wall, quietly. Every third man, north wall. We had better inform the mortar crew. - Pit one. - Pit one. - Pit two. - Pit two. - Pit three. - Pit three. Zero in on the village. Four rounds, H.E. Fire on order. - What's this? - You know. Stay here. - Alone? - No, you've got your pal. Now, don't get out of there till I tell you. Okay, Petersen! You get down there! You stay quiet! SACHS: Mr. Beckworth? BECKWORTH: Yeah? SACHS: Been assigned to your position? BECKWORTH: No, I haven't. SACHS: You better come with me. PETERSEN: Right front, 200. WATSON: Right front, 200. Get some AG. We'll be dropping it close, so make it charge 7. PETERSEN: Level? WATSON: Check. Everything copacetic? PETERSEN: Ready to fire. SACHS: Hit the bunker! Fire! - What happened to the lieutenant? PETERSEN: He's gone! Hang! Fire! Lt's on target. Pit one. You're right on. Give them 3 rounds of WP. Roger! We're on target. Three more rounds. Hang! Fire! That's what it's all about! You going to referee or help us? - What can I do? - Give the sergeant a hand! BECKWORTH: L'll take them. Hang! Fire! KIRBY: This is Bulldog. I've got the picture. The Mike Force is right behind me. We'll try and make it in before sunrise. Bulldog, this is Two-Niner Savoy. This is no harassment, sir. It's the real McCoy. They're storming the wire right now. Bulldog, do you read... It's us. Check those generators. That's got to be Bulldog. Bulldog! This is Savoy 6. Over. Hello, Savoy 6, this is Bulldog. The Mike Force is... [V.C. SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] Savoy 8, this is Savoy 6. Over. MOORE [OVER RADIO]: This is Savoy 8. - This is Savoy 6. Bulldog's near you. Can you get to him? MOORE: Savoy 8. We saw it. We're on him. Out. Let's go. Damn. MOORE: Bulldog! Hit the deck! - This man needs attention. - Medic! PARKS: Machine guns are positioned around LZ green. PROVO: Get this man down the hill. MOORE: Charlie's got all landing zones covered. Mike Force is coming behind us. We got to secure one of them. - Why not this one? - Right, sir. Let's move out. Bring in the dependents. [NIM SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] [SOLDIERS SHOUT ORDERS] SOLDIER: Break through! They're breaking through! HAMCHUNK: Chimunk! Here, dog. PETERSEN: Fire! Chimunk! Chimunk! WHITE: Kowalski! KOWALSKI: Yeah. Skipper's worried about the inner perimeter. Can you close the breach? That just fits our pistol. We got a little machine that can do that. JAMISON: Let's get them, Seabees! Come on! Hang! Fire! Hamchunk. Hamchunk! Take over! WATSON: Sarge! Hamchunk! Hamchunk! Medic! Hit the phoogas! GRIFFIN: Petersen! Going back to the commo bunker! Yeah. L'll be right with you! He was all you had, wasn't he? You don't have anybody else in the whole world, do you? Except you. LARK: Let's get the hell out of here! We can't hold out any longer! We're leaving! Let's go! Pit One! - Pit One, Roger. - Fall back and destroy the tube. Order's to fall back. Let's get the hell out of here! SOLDIER: Troop one, we're moving back. Let's go! You heard him, move out! Medic! BECKWORTH: Can you walk? JAMISON: Get me on my feet, I can run! Sir, the Mike Force is all in. Savoy 6, this is Bulldog. Over. Go ahead, Bulldog. Mike Force is on the ground. We're on our way in. We'll try and make it in before the damn sun comes up. Will keep you informed. Move out. BLUE LEADER [OVER RADIO]: Savoy Two-Niner this is Blue Leader. This is Savoy 6, Blue Leader. This is Blue Leader. 2 birds coming in. Where do you want it dropped? Air strike. Savoy 6, Blue Leader. 400 meters from the north wall southwest to northeast. Do you roger? This is Blue Leader. Roger and out. Savoy 6, this is Bulldog. Go ahead, Bulldog. We have the Mike Force in position. Let us know when you're ready. Roger, Bulldog. Savoy 6. We'll use the air strike to keep Charlie's head down. Execute plan 3 in 2 minutes. Do you roger? Roger. Out. Two minutes, pass the word. SOLDIER: Fall back, damn it! Fall back to the commo bunker! Everybody! MacDANIEL: Let go with the phoogas! SOLDIER: Let's go! Keep down. Take a platoon down and reinforce Evans. I'm going to the tower. KIRBY: What's the situation? We can't even hold this place with that air strike. KIRBY: Provo! Dig that .30 in and give support to the .50 caliber. PROVO: Give me that, I can handle it. Check the team house. Traitor! I'm prepared for that. Medic! Parks, how is he? He's pretty bad, sir, but still alive. See if that .50's operational. L'll check it. Beldo, give me a hand! KIRBY: Fall back! KIRBY: Swing her around 180 degrees. Give them 4 H.E. Maximum elevation and destroy the tube. Fall back! KIRBY: Move them out! MOORE: Choppers are on their way. SOLDIER: Keep your heads down! - What about the radio? - Charges are set and it's ready to go. - Claymores? - We got a few spread out. KIRBY: Move out! SOLDIERS: Let's go! Keep it down. Let's move. KIRBY: Everybody fall back! MULDOON: Choppers are here. Hurry it up! SOLDIER: Head to the landing zone! MOORE: Everyone out to LZ green. KIRBY: Fall back! SOLDIER: Keep moving! Keep moving! - Hi, Tom. - How you doing, Pete? Take care of that kid, no matter what happens. Will do, Pete. [V.C. CHEERING] What happened to Nim? He bought the farm, sir, but he took a lot of them with him. COSTA: Colonel Kirby. Puff the Magic Dragon's on the horn. This is Two-Niner Savoy. Over. Puff to ground, where do you want it? Put it on the camp. Those people have it, we don't. It'll only take a minute. I think Puff broke their back. We can probably move in there tomorrow God willing and the river don't rise. MacDANIEL: What do we do now, sir? First we get some sack time. Then we start all over again. - Muldoon. - Sir? Check the perimeter. Make sure the outposts are set for the night. I guess it couldn't have been much worse. We're still alive. What happens now? We keep doing our jobs. You got one to go back to, haven't you? I guess so. What are you going to say in your newspaper? If I say what I feel, I may be out of a job. We'll always give you one. I could do you more good with a typewriter. It's Sergeant Sooby's. He didn't make it. Funny thing. Fellow takes one of these into battle and by the grace of God he comes out in one piece he carries a strange sense of guilt all the rest of his life. JAMISON: Colonel? I'd like permission to take my men into "A" camp to check our equipment. And also, that sergeant who was pretty badly hit was asking for you. Provo? Thank you. Captain Johanson is taking the Mike Force back this afternoon. You can go in with him. - Happy to have had you aboard. - Thanks for the ride. Why wasn't he on the chopper? The wounded go before the dead. We thought we'd better not move him. They zapped me good. You're not gone yet. Would you do me a favor, sir? Would you take a touch with me? I sure will. Thank you, sir. Another favor, sir? What is it? You remember the decision I was trying to make, about my name? KIRBY: The signs? I remember. That's it. There it is, sir. You're sure that's what he wanted? Affirmative. That's what he wanted and that's what he's going to get! Maybe he liked the idea of having so many men think about him every day. Besides it sings. It sings? That's what he said. It sings. ROBIN: Provo's Privy. It does sing! Last time we met, Colonel Cai and I were going to tell you about a plan we had and "A" camp 107 got hit. This can't wait till you take over. I want you briefed. - Why way out here? - This is top secret. I repeat, top secret. KIRBY: Colonel Cai. - How was Saigon? - Very interesting. I attended a meeting with the premier and his staff. The main subject was General Pham Son Ti. He has assumed command of the entire Viet Cong forces in the south. Which makes him Number One! Affirmative. And it could mean a major offensive. I had my hands on him the last time I was out here. But because of political pressure, I had to turn him loose. Like to get your hands on him again? Who wouldn't? But if I know General Ti, he's surrounded by a regiment. - My people think several. - That brings us up to the plan. He's somewhere in Hang Phau Valley. Surrounded by the regiments you mentioned, which makes a capture impossible. Precisely. Except for one woman and a certain hand-picked team. Go on, colonel. This is the rat. And this is the trap. My father was a simple man. All he wanted was to be free his wife to love, and his children to raise. He tried to remain neutral. That was his mistake. What he didn't realize was that man has to pay a price for that freedom. Therefore, he suffered the ultimate penalty. Since that day I've lived but with one thought: To find the man who ordered my father and little brother murdered. I found him. His name is Pham Son Ti. And I will give him to you. When? One week from tonight, at the old Costeau Plantation. Colonel Cai knows where it is. How much do you know about this girl? Her father and General Ti's father grew up together. Their families were very close. Even before he moved to Hanoi he had more than a friendly interest in Lin. Do you trust her? Of course. She's my brother's wife. Let's see, it's 0400. That means we'll hit the drop zone around a little after sunrise. Everything set? Your gear's on board with Colonel Cai's. KIRBY: Thank you. Let's get aboard. MULDOON: You heard the man. Stick formation. Let's go. - Keep your head down. - Don't worry. Colonel Cai, you haven't said a word all night. You know why? He's never jumped before. First one's easy. It's the second one that's hard to get them to make. Colonel? MULDOON: We'll use the alternative plan Bravo? KIRBY: Right. MULDOON: Alternative plan Bravo! Kowalski, that means you take point. If you see anything, don't let them spot you. Freeze! - Let us know. Got it? - Got it. One minute to drop, sir. The recon was a success. Probably be no trouble. But the word is alert! Get ready. Port side stand up. Starboard side, stand up. Hook up. Stand in the door. Go! Go! You ready? Kowalski's got about a 5 minute start on us. WATSON: Lieutenant Moore sprained his ankle badly. Moore, you'd better stay here with the skylift detail. You come with us, Watson. Move out! Bulldog! Savoy 3. Over. This is Bulldog, Savoy 3. Over! Bulldog! Bulldog! Savoy 3, Savoy 3. This is Bulldog. Over. Trouble. Won't need that anymore. No. But he took them all with him or they wouldn't have left this! Form a burial detail. DOC: Yes, sir. KIRBY: There it is. It's your baby. We can never get back here before daybreak. What do you think? - It'll make a nice mess. - How many men will you need? - Doc and two of Colonel Cai's men. - You got them. [CAI SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] KIRBY: If we don't get back by 1100 tomorrow you blow it. Head for the rendezvous. - Good luck. - Thank you. Move out. How come you like blowing things up so much? When I was a kid, my dad gave me a chemistry set and it got bigger than both of us. [HONOR GUARD SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] [HONOR GUARD SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] [HONOR GUARD SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] PETERSEN: The waiting's over. No escort. You all know your jobs. Remember we don't go back without the general. Not one of us. Question? Move out. CAI: Wait here. [Tl SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] Wine? Later. KIRBY: Come on. There are two guards on the porch. I'm ready for them. [V.C. GUARDS SPEAKING IN VIETNAMESE] - Where's the lady? - Right here. Thank you. Here. [V.C. GUARD SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] KIRBY: Watch his leg. Get him in there. Nearly finished? Yeah. What next? Wait. KIRBY [OVER RADIO]: Roadrunner. This is Bulldog. Over. Bulldog, this is Roadrunner. Over. How's the traffic? Traffic is scarce this early in the morning. Everything's set. How will you evade? We have spotted motorcycles. We'll be there in 7 minutes. Do you read me? Right. Out. We're as ready as we'll ever be. Go ahead, Doc. Here. [SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE] KIRBY: Take him! DOC: Hit it! What the hell? What happened? - I caught one. - The first-aid kit! Not now! Five minutes, this road will be like downtown. Let's get out of here, sarge. KIRBY: Get him out of the way. PETERSEN: Release the brake! WATSON: Two minutes to liftoff, colonel. KIRBY: Move out. KIRBY: You better stay here. Stay there. PETERSEN: Colonel, I hear the plane. KIRBY: Inflate. Take the rear. Let's get out of here. Sir, could I have a choice? Yeah, you can have a choice. - L'll take the point. - I said you have a choice. That's why I'm taking the point. PETERSEN: We're close to that rendezvous area. KIRBY: You better get out there ahead and see what's waiting for us. Let's relax. Colonel? - She's your sister-in-law. - She is. Her whole future, her self-respect everything is in your hands. It isn't that I... Thank you. Lin? You're a brave woman. No, just a woman praying that her family will forgive her. There is nothing to forgive. I thought you'd never get here. - Choppers are coming up the valley. - Where's Doc? Caught one in the back, but he's going to be all right. Let's get the colonel. MULDOON: LZ is a meadow just over that rise. Let's move out! MULDOON: Petersen! Bastards! Move out. Move out. You heard him, let's go! BECKWORTH: What area's designated as offloading ramp today? M. P: Last pad over, next to the water. - See that runway over by the beach? - Yeah? That's where your Peter-san's going to be coming in. You take care of yourself. Thank you. - Mister, you Beckworth? - That's right. If you want to go where the war is, this is the way. - Who's that for? - I don't know, boy. Wait until the choppers are down. I got a Jeep for you and Mrs. Cai. Successful mission. Yeah. But very costly. HAMCHUNK: Petersen! HAMCHUNK: Ls there Petersen here? PILOT: Must be in another chopper, sonny. Not here. MULDOON: Medic! HAMCHUNK: What happened? MULDOON: Lt's Doc, Hamchunk. He's going to be all right. HAMCHUNK: Petersen? There's none of them left in here. This is one job I don't envy you. HAMCHUNK: Petersen! Petersen! Petersen! Petersen! Petersen! No! No! Hamchunk? You always knew it could happen, didn't you? But I didn't want it to. None of us did. Was my Peter-san brave? He was very brave. Are you going to be? L'll try. I know you will. And I'm sure that your Peter-san would want you to have that. What will happen to me now? You let me worry about that, Green Beret. You're what this is all about. Subtitles by SDI Media Group [ENGLISH SDH] Good morning, Mr. Phelps. We recently learned that, in order to carry out the underworld's policy of enforcement, this man, Burt Gordon, has set up an organisation similar to the old Murder, Incorporated. Gordon will arrange for the disposal of anyone, anywhere, for a price. The victims always disappear with no evidence of foul play and the body is never recovered. Although we are sure Gordon is the man behind this murder ring, he has kept himself so far removed from the actual killings, we are unable to pin anything on him. Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to prove Gordon is, in fact, a killer, and put him away for good. As always, should you or any of your IM Force be caught or killed, the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. Please destroy this recording in the usual manner. Good luck, Jim. - Good, very good, Rollin. - J ust a small sample, Jim. Well, I think that will appeal greatly to Mr. Gordon's nature. How about the effects at the house, Barney? They're in the works. I also have the men. Jim, how does Gordon handle these so-called contracts for murder? Picks up the phone and the job gets done. But he never does it himself. Even if the job's here in town? No, he has an assistant, a man named Connie. Always uses one of these delightful things. The bodies are disposed of in the incinerator at Gordon's lumberyard. Why don't we just keep an eye on Connie until he tries it again? All we'd get is Connie. We want Gordon. - How about the sweater, Barney? - Right here, Jim. - Heavy. - It has eight layers of laminated nylon. Backed by fine chain mail. - The blood? - It's in the ribbing. Rollin, were you able to work out the mask? Yes. I have it right here. Disintegrates two minutes after being exposed to the air. And did Mr. Gordon accept the Harpers' invitation to dinner? His R.S.V.P. was in this morning's mail. Well, in that case... Mrs. Harper, I think we'd better get headed for home. How are you, Burt? Haven't lost your touch, huh? What have you got, Lew? Anything I should know about any of these? The third name. Yeah, the guy in Cleveland. What about him? He's the district attorney there. All right, we'll handle it. Anything else? The last name. It's gotta be done on Friday. That's the 13th. Friday the 13th. It'll be done the following day. Some of the boys think it's bad luck to take a contract for the 13th. We can't push our luck. Sorry I can't ask you to stay, Lew. Gotta get dressed for a dinner. Next time, for sure. Hi. Come on in. I'm Lynn Harper, Mr. Gordon. Thanks for coming. I wanted to welcome my new neighbours. I'm glad you believe in being neighbourly. Always. Come, I'll introduce you to my husband and his brother. Then we'll have dinner. Lead the way. Open the valve. Excellent dinner, Mrs. Harper. Everything was delicious. Thank you. And it's Lynn. I understand you're in the lumber business, Mr. Gordon. - Right. - Does that mean trees or...? No. I don't own any forest land, do any milling. Just lumberyards, really. Douglas is an attorney. And a very good one. - Do any trial work? - No, no. Nothing as exciting as that. I confine myself to handling the Harper interests. That's a fancy way of saying he holds the purse strings. I can't stand that vinegar you serve. Where did you get that stuff anyway? The wine is lovely, Stan. It just doesn't mix well with Scotch. Now she's trying to tell me what to drink. It's not what you drink, Stan, it's how much. You are not married, are you, Mr. Gordon? No. I'm a bachelor. Well, now, you just take my advice and you stay a bachelor. Please, try to ignore him, Mr. Gordon. You can see that he's... You can see that he is drunk. Right, Mr. Gordon? - He's back. - Yes, I think you're right. It's all right, Mr. Gordon. Just be quiet. It'll pass in a few moments. Bobby. It's all right, Bobby. We're here together. Go to sleep, Bobby. Go back to sleep. It's all right, Bobby. It's all right. Go back to sleep. We're here together. I think we could all use one of those. Mr. Gordon? Shall we go into the other room? Let's go. Get started on the clock. Stan and I had a brother, Bobby. He was younger than either of us. Not quite 7 when he died. Stan and I were 12 and 14. We lived in a big house with grounds that bordered a river. That particular day, our mother asked us to stay at home and look after Bobby. We wanted to go swimming. What we wanted to do, Bobby wanted to do, naturally. He idolised his big brothers. So we told him to stay in the house, and off we went. He followed us. We were pretty far out when we spotted him. He was trying to... To get to us. He still is. - You mean it's his...? - Spirit? Ghost? I don't know, Mr. Gordon. I do know that often, when Stan and I are together, this happens. And you believe? It happens, Mr. Gordon. When I was a kid, a tenement on our block collapsed. Buried some people alive. From then on, every time I passed that spot, I believed I could always hear them moaning and crying for help. You through there? Get started upstairs. Why don't you go to bed, Stan? Why should I? Because you make me sick to my stomach. Douglas... All right, Stan. You've had enough, let's go. Mr. Gordon will excuse you. Let's go. Excuse me? Do you think I had too much to drink? Whoa, wait. Wait a minute. Wait. Good night, my dear. Mr. Gordon. Let's go, Dougie. Come on. Here we go. I want to show you that I can be neighbourly too. Lynn? Well, he's in bed. Probably dead to the world by now. Thank you, Doug. Good night, Gordon. It's been a pleasure. - Thank you. - Must you go? Well, yes. I've got an 8:00 appointment at the office in the morning. Good night, Lynn. Don't bother to see me out. - Good night, Dougie. - Good night. I've been around long enough to know that you want something, honey. What? I want you to kill someone for me. My husband. Please. I know who you are. I've read all about you. You don't know enough not to believe everything you read. It would be so easy for you. I could help you. I'll pay you anything. I'll be worth a fortune afterwards. You're out of your mind. You're lucky I don't slap you senseless for even suggesting it. Please, you've met him. You see what he's like. You can't imagine what it's like living with a man like that. I want him dead. You've got to help me. I don't have to do anything. Got the wrong guy, honey. You better forget the whole thing and just hope that I do too. Got the Cleveland newspaper. Does it say anything? Yeah, in a small item in the second section. It says the local DA is missing. Good. Get in touch with Lister this afternoon. Tell him he did okay and he'll be paid in the usual way. Okay. What do you want? - We're in trouble. - What do you mean we're in trouble? Last night, Stan pretended to be drunker than he really was. After Douglas left, he sneaked down the back stairway. - So what? - Don't you understand? He saw us. He even took pictures. He's a creep. He's gonna use those pictures to divorce me. - You let him. - I won't get a cent from him. - That's your problem. - No. No, it's your problem too. He's gonna smear us across every front page in this country. I don't want that and you don't want that either. I've had worse publicity than this and survived it. Go home. - Figured you'd run here and warn him. - Wait a minute. I've already waited long enough. I thought about you all night, Gordon. I thought about my wife with a slime like you. - All right, buster... - Stay out of this. Smearing you across the front pages is not enough. Scum like you shouldn't be allowed to live. You're gonna die. Stan, stop it. Stop it. Help him. He'll kill him. I can't believe it. I'm rid of him. It's perfect. We just call the police and tell them it was self-defence. Are you crazy? That's the one thing we can't do. But why not? He was trying to kill you. I'm a witness. Shut up and listen. Connie will take care of it. You just go home. Do whatever it is you'd normally do. Just act as if nothing happened. When he doesn't come home tonight, call his brother, ask him where he is. When he says he doesn't know, act worried. Don't call the police until 2, maybe 3 in the morning. Tell them anything you want to except that he came here. You understand? What are you gonna do with him? He'll just disappear. Police will look for him a few months, then give up. Now, come on, get out of here. Take his car. After you've gotten rid of him, drive out to the airport, leave the car there. All right. - How did it go? - Nothing to it. I left his car at the airport and took a bus back. Good, then all we've got to worry about is his wife. This will control the lights in the house. Ready, Cinnamon. The more I think of that Harper dame, the more I wonder if she shouldn't have disappeared with her husband. Yeah. Well, that can be arranged. Burt! Burt! It's her. Burt, please. My husband is back. He's in the house. I was in the kitchen, fixing something to eat, and I heard a noise in the living room. I went in there but there was nothing there. Nothing but cold. It was colder than anything I've ever felt in my whole life. Then I felt as if someone were watching me. I turned around and there he was at the top of the stairs, looking at me. Well, whatever it was, lady, it wasn't your husband. Oh, it was. It was. He was just like he was this afternoon, with blood, here, on his sweater. There he is. I'm terribly sorry. I was coming over to my brother's, I saw Lynn come up the road. Is everything all right? Lynn, are you all right? You look strange. Is anything wrong? I was scared by the lightning and Stan hasn't gotten home yet and I just didn't want to be alone in the house. When do you expect him? He didn't say when he'd be back. I'm terribly sorry. But as you probably know, Lynn and I are concerned about Stan. I had a feeling that something was wrong with Stan. A hunch. So I drove out to see if everything was okay. - I'm sorry. - Of course, I understand. It was nice to see you again. Bye-bye, Lynn. Douglas, what is it? I don't know. I don't know. I have a strange feeling something's wrong. A feeling like I had when Bobby...died. Stan? Stan? Stan is here. My brother is here. And he's dead. My brother is dead. It could be Bobby. No. No, it's Stan. Pull yourself together. He's dead. And dead is dead. I have to sit down. Stan? We're here with you, Stan. Stan. Stan. Now do you believe me? Shut up. There must be an explanation. You sure you put him in the incinerator? Yeah. He's ashes. I don't know who or what we just saw but it's not the same guy. That cold. He's here in the house, with us. It's like ice in here, boss. What I don't understand is, why did he come to this house? Has he ever been here before? Never. I barely knew him. I met you all for the first time last night. Go. Let's go. Wait. Don't leave me. Please, don't leave me. Go on and see what it is. He's been gone five minutes. Where the devil is he? I don't know. Maybe he's with Stan. I'm going up there. Look! One of my murderers is dead. The others will also die. First, my wife. Then her accomplice. No. No. No, Stan. Forgive me. Lynn, wait. Lynn! Lynn, wait. Lynn, don't run. Come back. Lynn! Gordon. Gordon. Gordon. I'm going to kill you. Gordon. Gordon. Get me the police. Good morning, Mr. Phelps. We recently learned that, in order to carry out the underworld's policy of enforcement, this man, Burt Gordon, has set up an organisation similar to the old Murder, Incorporated. Gordon will arrange for the disposal of anyone, anywhere, for a price. The victims always disappear with no evidence of foul play and the body is never recovered. Although we are sure Gordon is the man behind this murder ring, he has kept himself so far removed from the actual killings, we are unable to pin anything on him. Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to prove Gordon is, in fact, a killer, and put him away for good. As always, should you or any of your IM Force be caught or killed, the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. Please destroy this recording in the usual manner. Good luck, Jim. - Good, very good, Rollin. - Just a small sample, Jim. Well, I think that will appeal greatly to Mr. Gordon's nature. How about the effects at the house, Barney? They're in the works. I also have the men. Jim, how does Gordon handle these so-called contracts for murder? Picks up the phone and the job gets done. But he never does it himself. Even if the job's here in town? No, he has an assistant, a man named Connie. Always uses one of these delightful things. The bodies are disposed of in the incinerator at Gordon's lumberyard. Why don't we just keep an eye on Connie until he tries it again? All we'd get is Connie. We want Gordon. - How about the sweater, Barney? - Right here, Jim. - Heavy. - It has eight layers of laminated nylon. Backed by fine chain mail. - The blood? - It's in the ribbing. Rollin, were you able to work out the mask? Yes. I have it right here. Disintegrates two minutes after being exposed to the air. And did Mr. Gordon accept the Harpers' invitation to dinner? His R.S.V.P. Was in this morning's mail. Well, in that case... Mrs. Harper, I think we'd better get headed for home. How are you, Burt? Haven't lost your touch, huh? What have you got, Lew? Anything I should know about any of these? The third name. Yeah, the guy in Cleveland. What about him? He's the district attorney there. All right, we'll handle it. Anything else? The last name. It's gotta be done on Friday. That's the 13th. Friday the 13th. It'll be done the following day. Some of the boys think it's bad luck to take a contract for the 13th. We can't push our luck. Sorry I can't ask you to stay, Lew. Gotta get dressed for a dinner. Next time, for sure. Hi. Come on in. I'm Lynn Harper, Mr. Gordon. Thanks for coming. I wanted to welcome my new neighbours. I'm glad you believe in being neighbourly. Always. Come, I'll introduce you to my husband and his brother. Then we'll have dinner. Lead the way. Open the valve. Excellent dinner, Mrs. Harper. Everything was delicious. Thank you. And it's Lynn. I understand you're in the lumber business, Mr. Gordon. - Right. - Does that mean trees or...? No. I don't own any forest land, do any milling. Just lumberyards, really. Douglas is an attorney. And a very good one. - Do any trial work? - No, no. Nothing as exciting as that. I confine myself to handling the Harper interests. That's a fancy way of saying he holds the purse strings. I can't stand that vinegar you serve. Where did you get that stuff anyway? The wine is lovely, Stan. It just doesn't mix well with Scotch. Now she's trying to tell me what to drink. It's not what you drink, Stan, it's how much. You are not married, are you, Mr. Gordon? No. I'm a bachelor. Well, now, you just take my advice and you stay a bachelor. Please, try to ignore him, Mr. Gordon. You can see that he's... You can see that he is drunk. Right, Mr. Gordon? - He's back. - Yes, I think you're right. It's all right, Mr. Gordon. Just be quiet. It'll pass in a few moments. Bobby. It's all right, Bobby. We're here together. Go to sleep, Bobby. Go back to sleep. It's all right, Bobby. It's all right. Go back to sleep. We're here together. I think we could all use one of those. Mr. Gordon? Shall we go into the other room? Let's go. Get started on the clock. Stan and I had a brother, Bobby. He was younger than either of us. Not quite 7 when he died. Stan and I were 12 and 14. We lived in a big house with grounds that bordered a river. That particular day, our mother asked us to stay at home and look after Bobby. We wanted to go swimming. What we wanted to do, Bobby wanted to do, naturally. He idolised his big brothers. So we told him to stay in the house, and off we went. He followed us. We were pretty far out when we spotted him. He was trying to... To get to us. He still is. - You mean it's his...? - Spirit? Ghost? I don't know, Mr. Gordon. I do know that often, when Stan and I are together, this happens. And you believe? It happens, Mr. Gordon. When I was a kid, a tenement on our block collapsed. Buried some people alive. From then on, every time I passed that spot, I believed I could always hear them moaning and crying for help. You through there? Get started upstairs. Why don't you go to bed, Stan? Why should I? Because you make me sick to my stomach. Douglas... All right, Stan. You've had enough, let's go. Mr. Gordon will excuse you. Let's go. Excuse me? Do you think I had too much to drink? Whoa, wait. Wait a minute. Wait. Good night, my dear. Mr. Gordon. Let's go, Dougie. Come on. Here we go. I want to show you that I can be neighbourly too. Lynn? Well, he's in bed. Probably dead to the world by now. Thank you, Doug. Good night, Gordon. It's been a pleasure. - Thank you. - Must you go? Well, yes. I've got an 8:00 appointment at the office in the morning. Good night, Lynn. Don't bother to see me out. - Good night, Dougie. - Good night. I've been around long enough to know that you want something, honey. What? I want you to kill someone for me. My husband. Please. I know who you are. I've read all about you. You don't know enough not to believe everything you read. It would be so easy for you. I could help you. I'll pay you anything. I'll be worth a fortune afterwards. You're out of your mind. You're lucky I don't slap you senseless for even suggesting it. Please, you've met him. You see what he's like. You can't imagine what it's like living with a man like that. I want him dead. You've got to help me. I don't have to do anything. Got the wrong guy, honey. You better forget the whole thing and just hope that I do too. Got the Cleveland newspaper. Does it say anything? Yeah, in a small item in the second section. It says the local DA is missing. Good. Get in touch with Lister this afternoon. Tell him he did okay and he'll be paid in the usual way. Okay. What do you want? - We're in trouble. - What do you mean we're in trouble? Last night, Stan pretended to be drunker than he really was. After Douglas left, he sneaked down the back stairway. - So what? - Don't you understand? He saw us. He even took pictures. He's a creep. He's gonna use those pictures to divorce me. - You let him. - I won't get a cent from him. - That's your problem. - No. No, it's your problem too. He's gonna smear us across every front page in this country. I don't want that and you don't want that either. I've had worse publicity than this and survived it. Go home. - Figured you'd run here and warn him. - Wait a minute. I've already waited long enough. I thought about you all night, Gordon. I thought about my wife with a slime like you. - All right, buster... - Stay out of this. Smearing you across the front pages is not enough. Scum like you shouldn't be allowed to live. You're gonna die. Stan, stop it. Stop it. Help him. He'll kill him. I can't believe it. I'm rid of him. It's perfect. We just call the police and tell them it was self-defence. Are you crazy? That's the one thing we can't do. But why not? He was trying to kill you. I'm a witness. Shut up and listen. Connie will take care of it. You just go home. Do whatever it is you'd normally do. Just act as if nothing happened. When he doesn't come home tonight, call his brother, ask him where he is. When he says he doesn't know, act worried. Don't call the police until 2, maybe 3 in the morning. Tell them anything you want to except that he came here. You understand? What are you gonna do with him? He'll just disappear. Police will look for him a few months, then give up. Now, come on, get out of here. Take his car. After you've gotten rid of him, drive out to the airport, leave the car there. All right. - How did it go? - Nothing to it. I left his car at the airport and took a bus back. Good, then all we've got to worry about is his wife. This will control the lights in the house. Ready, Cinnamon. The more I think of that Harper dame, the more I wonder if she shouldn't have disappeared with her husband. Yeah. Well, that can be arranged. Burt! Burt! It's her. Burt, please. My husband is back. He's in the house. I was in the kitchen, fixing something to eat, and I heard a noise in the living room. I went in there but there was nothing there. Nothing but cold. It was colder than anything I've ever felt in my whole life. Then I felt as if someone were watching me. I turned around and there he was at the top of the stairs, looking at me. Well, whatever it was, lady, it wasn't your husband. Oh, it was. It was. He was just like he was this afternoon, with blood, here, on his sweater. There he is. I'm terribly sorry. I was coming over to my brother's, I saw Lynn come up the road. Is everything all right? Lynn, are you all right? You look strange. Is anything wrong? I was scared by the lightning and Stan hasn't gotten home yet and I just didn't want to be alone in the house. When do you expect him? He didn't say when he'd be back. I'm terribly sorry. But as you probably know, Lynn and I are concerned about Stan. I had a feeling that something was wrong with Stan. A hunch. So I drove out to see if everything was okay. - I'm sorry. - Of course, I understand. It was nice to see you again. Bye-bye, Lynn. Douglas, what is it? I don't know. I don't know. I have a strange feeling something's wrong. A feeling like I had when Bobby... died. Stan? Stan? Stan is here. My brother is here. And he's dead. My brother is dead. It could be Bobby. No. No, it's Stan. Pull yourself together. He's dead. Forgive me of holding you up. What has happened to you? I was collecting the mail. Dear Mr. Brass, I am Rosella and I saw some of the films,... not in the cinema, but in the tapes, which Gianni my husband,... brings home and which we watch together. I am 33 years old and think of myself as as a normal woman,... far faway from damsels and their works. However, something incredible happened to me, which seems... impossible of having occured. Perhaps that's why... I write. I was angry with my husband, because he would stay... at work at the clinic at night and not... take me out for dinner as agreed. I had my outing organised. I took the children to... mama and did not prepare dinner. You could have told me before. Sorry, it is not my fault. We are going out to dinner another day,... besides, I am tired. -It's always the same! First the rest and finally your wife. -Not so, I apologised. -You are a specialist at that. Thus you never bring it on. You only care for yourself. Everything must turn around you and get done your way. The others do not count. For you I am just a housewife,... and your maid. Enough, Rosella. I visited the sick all day long. I am tired. And you create problems over nothing. Stop being so hysterical. Bye! I cannot say any more in here. Talk to me at home. When you have calmed down. What did you say, hysterical? Who? Hello? Hello! It was me. I know, when my... husband behaves well, then I become a beast. I lose control, become inexplicable. I was sure that it was Gianni again, but I did not have... any inclination to speak nor to listen. Love, I tell you something: my cock is hard. Can you hear, beloved? I thought about it and I got a hard-on. -That's the way it is! -Who is talking? -You are not Teresa. -Of course not, I am Rosella. So what, I have a hard-on. So what can I do about that? -Lend us a hand. -Who allows you of using me? Sorry, I continued to believe you were Teresa. But I told you, I am Rosella. This is just as well, give me a hand, it is good. What hand? I do not understand. A hand, just a hand. Indeed! But you must pretend that my hand is yours. -You are crazy! -Please, don't hang up. I could not forget that voice. It's sensuality prevented me. He had a passion, a transmitted lustfulness,... a feeling which I had never experienced before. -Are you still there? -Yes. -Are you alone? -Yes, but only momentarily. Who is he? Your boyfriend? Your husband? -A peasant, but he's not here now. -It's better that way. Let's take advantage of that. Touch yourself and imagine it to be my hand that fondles your sexy bits. He was stronger than me and emerged spontaneously to satisfy... the unknown and the unseen. I don't know. Are you doing it, Rosella? -Yes. -Bravo. You are getting your caresses from me, you know. -What are you touching? -My breasts within my blouse. -On top of my bra. -Bring them out. Moisten your fingertips with saliva... and wet your nipples. Do you like it? It is my hand that plays with you. -Tell me, if you like it. -Yes, I like it. Very good, continue and pretend that it is my hand, that fondles you. Bloody hell! Rosella, my love, let me feel how wet you are between your legs. Feel it, my love. My fingers just slipped into your panties. And entered your hot and wet vagina. Your cherished sexy lips of ardent lust and desire. And so flush in the springtime of your passion. Can you feel my cock as your clitoris between your fingers? Every stroke of yours, it gets bigger and harder. Feel it, love, are you coming? Respond, Rosella, tell me that you can feel it. Yes, I am sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Slowly! Gently! I can't take any more. No! Come slowly too. Gently, slowly. What dominating fingers you have! It makes me crazy. Yes, like that, penetrate my yoni, please. I love you deep iside. Take my bushy cunt, I beg you. Don't stop. More cock inside. Stronger please. Take it. Push it, we are getting there, forcefully. Yes, that's good. We are coming together. Yes, that's it! More, keep it going! Squeeze my balls, my darling. That feels so good! More, more! Come, how do you like the fucking! Now you will feel my prick from behind. Yes, do so my love. Yes lend me a hand. Please give me a hand. -Does your man never do that to you? -Never. You are so right to be annoyed. -He is a peasant, yes, a bumpkin. Enter me, my love, from behind. Pull my arse apart and hammer it. Here we come. Yes, it fits well inside. Dirty slut, one hand masturbates in the front... and the other from behind. Say, that nobody ever made you enjoy yourself, ... -like that. Made you come like me! -Yes. Yes, nobody ever before you made me enjoy it so. I am coming! Do you hear me my love? What is going on? What do I hear? Ahh! Look, Mrs. Rosella sees my films as committed by her husband. Very well. There is a secure future for... telephone operators of the "hot line". -The more confessors there are,... the more 'talking sluts' there seem to be. And how do you react, when you see my films? Obviously, it obliges me to please my boyfriend. This was written by a man. By the name on the envelope. Nothing of men! What a shame! Ok! This comes from a woman from Turin. I am an admirer of you and wish to tell you of an experience,... which might interest you. I am Francesca, 28 years old and... married to Paolo, seven years older than me. It all started like a game of chance. One night, whilst we made love,... my husband whispered in my ear. "My dear, would you like to do it with someone else?" I felt offended, but on the inside my blood was boiling. The idea of being unfaithful plunged me into a state, of a great sexual arousal. You have never seen anythink like it. Leave me at peace. -Who can think of things like that? -Stop it, paolo. This is nothing but a fantasy of yours. It is not my desire. But soon, the fantasies became insufficient. So to prove that he had doubled my pleasure,... I accepted, a little reluctantly, to go to a place where my husband... said, we would experience a different kind of evening. What knickers are you wearing? The one you bought in Paris. You might be in for a surprise. I've got the one to please. You can insist for me to look sexy, but I repeat to you,... that I do not intend to do anything. As you wish my dear. Nobody forces you. Each of us is free to behave as we want to. You are wet. It was true, my body had betrayed me. Outside, I felt disgusted with my husband,... but I was really atrracted by it like flies to the honey. Paolo took me to a residence,... where the practice was to swap partners. -Yes, who is it? -Roberto. Oscar sent me. Well, we have arrived. -Are you coming in? -One moment. -Good evening and welcome friends. -Good evening. Have you got something for the cloakroom? Perhaps you don't need your handbag. Do you know the local? No, but others of the same style. The ones that pay for drinks, will know. They'll see. Let's go. What would you like? -What would you like to drink dear? -Nothing. To watch, we must consume something. -A whisky on the rocks. -One with Coca-Cola. for me. -Here you are. -Thanks. Here we go. Have another? -How much is it? -100,000. -Thanks. -Thanking you. Take it. Come, we find someplace to sit. Nothing is hidden in here. And neither can one drink too much. Sparkle as if you were in our house. Enough, what are you doing? What they all do. We are going, just relax. -Let it all come out. -Are you crazy. Enough, I feel so ashamed. No way, Francesca. I know that you'll like it. Can't you feel how wet you are? Let yourself go, Francesca. This is an opportunity to play it for real. Don't be afraid my love. I am here. Where are we going? Get up Francesca. Swap places. We are going to another room. But as in a mirror it all returned to be seen. Apparently... reserved and adaptable, but in reality the whoring of it all. But seeing Paolo being possessed by another woman made me crazy with jealousy. But this jealousy also made me cazy with lust and desire. Yes Paolo! I am enjoying it! I like it! Me too, Francesca. me too! Yes my love - I do too. And it was so shameful. -You were once? -Where? In the fields, one of the clubs of encounters. Yes, sure I remember, I was. In France and in Italy. I would never swing like that. Don't be so sure about it. You are too naive. And too jealous. As anyone would be, who loves the truth. -Is your boyfriend also like this? -Like crazy! He saves himself in everything. -And so he does. -In saving himself for me? -No just in his jealousy. Listen to this. "Dear Tinto, my name is Veronica of 45 years. My husband is an architect, we have two good sons... and a nice positive conjugal life in all... the senses and manners that interest him. But as always, there is a 'but'. Every day I come out of the house to make the daily purchases. The subsaharan tram is full of people and forgive the language... and candor, I play the thing from the ass. The thing excites me very much, but whenever I feel... of getting aroused, my playing gets interrupted. - What a swine, didn't she tell at least what tram she takes? -No. What a shame! Enough is enough! Here is another read. But hurry, tonight I should go on time. My boyfriend is coming by to pick me up. This letter does not want to appear pathetic, nor a... search for justification, but the story of how the lack of... illusion can be a reason for unsuspected satisfaction. My name is Ivana of 33 years, and I am telling you, I have always been faithful to my husband Filippo. But his vice is the card game and gambling and this is the cause of constant disputes... and makes him come home ever later and more nervous. He had never deceived me, but for that night. I always lost sleep and waited anxiously for his return. The time passed, one, two. three. One gets preoccupied and concerned with... the thought that something might have happened. Telemessage, the person you called is unavailable. FiIippo? Is it you? Also drunk again. You are unable to even vomit. Come back to say you lost all your money? I lost everything. Who won now? The dull. The blonde. I said to you, no more games. So I played once again, so what? Alright. It is not the most important thing in the world. And how much did you lose? All of it. I've lost totally. Totally! All of it. All. I have nothing left. You have your wife. She is a beautiful woman, your wife. -Only for one night. -Or pay the ten million, which you owe. -Your wife is a precious woman. -And very lucky. Yes. You also missed out. You are just drunk. We'll see. Let's go to sleep. No Ivana, it is true. You also played and you lost. What the devil are you saying? Are you crazy? Waiting for you, I gave them security. Waiting for you, I gave them safety. I am expected to do what? You said that I am expect? You gave the security - of me? By the devils, who do you think you are? Unhappy cretin, miserable ruffian, traitor shit! By me, they can very well wait forever to get their security. To the devil, with you and your friends. They are crazy Ivana, capable of anything. Only to get it straight, the problem is yours not mine. You and your gambling games, I am tired. Perhaps, because for the want of Filippo, or by the perverse... pleasure, to see him totally dependent on me,... three days later decided to go to pay this dues,... this extravagant debt of my husband. In addition, I confess, I was intrigued. The blonde and the dull. What value for the both of them? See, help me. Get the dress. Still beautiful? Consider love and games? -Answer me. Love? -Yes. Telemessage, the person you called is not available. Ivana? Is this you Ivana? Help me! Help me. Assist. Help. Lift your legs. And the panties? And the bra? At the games. I played and I lost them. Lost them. Lost. Please help me! And your friends. The blonde! The dull! Is this enough? -No, the debt is large. -And you are very beautiful. Now drop for the behind. Here is the soap. This is precisely what I wanted to say. The dull and the blond... did so with the soap. We'll see. -FiIippo. -My love? When will we get back to play? Poor Filippo, lost in the game and also with his wife. You think so? I, in contrast say that he has recovered. -No reception for anyone! -I have an appointment! What is happening? Go and look. Maestro, I have something special and he won't let me come in. -You cannot pass! -Go away outside. I have something truly exceptional. See, show the maestro. Show it to the maestro. -What is going on? -Can't you see? I only see a cheeky one. -In other words, two of those. -Look at it maestro. Well, look at it. Is it not a loveliness? Show it. Show it to the maestro. -Congratulations! - What did I say to him? Doesn't she at least deserve a test? Yes, I don't know. Perhaps. At least it deserves the proof of the currency. Show me how you move. Pick it up. Is it like this? Or is it so? Well you have a future. So says someone, who knows. -Thank you maestro. -Then you make her a star? She can be. We will see. You are more attracted by the comical gendre,... than by the dramatic. By the master of erotica. Back in your dress. You have a great future "behind'. -What actress? -More. All of you! Leave a photo with my secretary. -Thank you, maestro. -Thanks. We will keep a picture of yourself. -Thanks, maestro! -Thanks. Thank you miss. I told him that was exceptional. Thanking you too. Here it is, I recommend it. - Archive "A"? -How did you guess? What are you doing tonight? As I said. I am going to the movies with my boyfriend. You expect to get it outside of yourself? I see what you're getting at! But why? Because it won't let you go, before first telling you something about yourself. Anything? What? Something or the other. An adventure for example. -I have nothing to tell! -Impossible! At least something real, at most a dream. Do you think it is nothing? The dreams are part of the reality. Is this the only reality? -Then it will let me go? I see. Then you, wherever you want. Well, I dreamt, that I went to a shoeshop with my boyfriend. Is this the story, which I interpreted? Yes of course, you deserve it. It was the most wonderful shoeshop ever seen. There was no customer. Only a few women dummies, a shoeshine black... and the owner of the business. I would like some red boots! Suddenly I realised, that the owner was you. Your final fulfilment. As you would have expected. Run along. -Yes, master. But, Lucia! What are you doing? Don't you you see? I am with Tinto Brass. Aye, director! Ripped by elcodigo and retranslated We need this completely filled. We don't have time to haggle over price. Understood. Captain. Janeway to Voy... Get up! Get away from her! Commander... any word on that tellerium? Not yet. How bad is it? The antimatter reaction rate is down to 12 percent. If it drops below nine, the plasma injectors will lock up and we'll never be able to reinitialize the nacelles. Options? If we're going to reduce our power demands even further, we're going to have to drop the shields. I don't want to leave the ship defenseless this close to a hostile planet. All other systems are already off-line. Life support is at minimal. You asked for options. Thas our last one. All right, power down the shields. That helped. Is only a matter of time. There's nothing more we can do without the tellerium. Neelix to Voyager. Yes, Neelix. The rest of the away team is gone, Commander. They've been taken by the Mokra. What do you want me to do? Did you get the tellerium? Yes, I have it. Then we need you here. Prepare to beam directly to Engineering. Rerouting emergency power to Transporter Room 2. And... energizing. Chakotay to away team. Captain, can you hear me? Unlock the control conduit. Tuvok, Torres, please respond. Keep an eye on the flow rate. Yes, sir. Rate's holding steady. The reaction rate is stabilized at 13 percent. Up to 15...18. It worked then. We're all right? Maybe. Once the rate is up to normal, we'll try getting the warp drive back on line. Then we'll see if there was any damage. Begin rerouting power back to all key systems. What happened down there? I don't know, exactly. I went in the shop, completed the trade, then I heard weapons fire on the street. By the time I got out there, the Captain and the others were gone. Are you sure it was the Mokra? I spoke to witnesses on the street. They said it was quite a fight. Any idea how the Mokra knew you were down there? Someone must have told them we were coming. The Mokra have informants everywhere. Could your contact be one of them? I don't think I would have made it back here with the tellerium if he had been. Besides, he's involved with the Alsaurian resistance movement. He would never help the Mokra. They've probably got the resistance movement under surveillance. Commander. I think we're ready to give the engines a try. I'm opening the plasma injectors. Warp engines are back on line. All systems normal. Good work, Mr. Kim. Mr. Neelix, you're with me. I thinkit's time we contact the Mokra. Mr. Paris, set a new course. Bring us out from behind the moon and establish a standard orbit around the planet... slowly. We don't want to look aggressive. Yes, sir. What kind of response should we expect when they see us? The Mokra are paranoid and hostile. They have little use for diplomacy. I wouldn't be surprised if they started shooting at us immediately. We'll be in full view of the planet in a few seconds. Their orbital sensor net has picked us up. They're scanning the ship. We're being hailed. On screen. I am Third Magistrate Augris of the Mokra Order. Commander Chakotay of the Federation Starship Voyager. May I assume you're seeking permission to conduct business with us? No. Some of my crew members have already been to the surface. We've lost contact with them. I see. You must have been unaware of our regulations. I'll transfer a complete copy for future reference. I have reason to believe they're being detained. Detained? Thas possible. I'll look into it for you. I'll contact you shortly. Thank you. He's not like any Mokra I've ever met. I can't believe he'll really help us. If there's any chance for a diplomatic solution, we have to pursue it. In the meantime, I want continuous scans of the surface. Standard search pattern. I advise caution. There's a control circuit there. I can see it. If only we knew that Neelix made it back to the ship with the tellerium, then at least this would be worth it. I regret I have no such reassurance to offer you. We don't even know what happened to the Captain. She might have been killed out there on the street. That is possible. It is also possible that she has safely returned to Voyager. We have insufficient evidence to dismiss either conclusion. I guess thas the Vulcan way of telling me to hope for the best. Look who's awake. Just rest. You must be thirsty. Maybe hungry? For a little something? Oh, what shall I make? What, what can I make? What, what? Oh... Where am I? Oh, it hasn't been that long. I wish I had some... There. This will do. T - To drink. Thank you. I'll fix you some soup. Now, just... lie down. You're very kind, but I have... Is all right. You're safe now. I really can't... Shh, shh. Don't worry. Everything's all right now. My little girl is home. I'm very grateful for everything you've done for me. But you know there's nothing I wouldn't do for my sweet Ralkana. My name is Kathryn Janeway. "Kathryn"? Thas an unusual name. Very pretty. I - I like it. I am a starship Captain. It is very important that I contact my ship. Wonderful. Captain... Kathryn of a glorious starship. Then what happens? Go on. I'm listening. I love your stories. Is not a story. Is a request. May I use your communications equipment? Communications... Uh, we're not supposed to have any of that. The Mokra don't allow it. They can't have control of everything. Surely there's someone who has an illegal transmitter. I know what you'd like... some talsa root soup. Can you at least tell me what happened to the other people I was with on the street? You really should be more careful out there. Those Mokra will pick a fight for no reason. I don't want you getting hurt...again. But I saw the way you handled that ugly one. I couldn't have done any better. I was so proud of you, Ralkana. My two friends... did the Mokra take them? I'm afraid so. Where would they have been taken? A detention center? The prison. All right. How do I get there? Soup. I'm forgetting the soup. I appreciate your hospitality, but I can't stay here. I've got to get to that prison. You're right, the time has come. Now we're together again, we can't wait another day. My beautiful and brave... girl. The Mokra won't stand a chance against us. You're very kind to offer, but I didn't mean we'd be going together. You must eat and rest to get your strength back. We'll leave soon enough. We don't want to keep her waiting any longer than we have to. Keep who waiting? She must miss you so terribly. Is hard to bear... thinking of her alone in that dark cell. Is been difficult for all of us, but don't worry, we'll get her out. You'll see your mother again. Our world has come under attack before. You can understand our concern at finding strangers who arrive secretly from a hidden ship. I assure you, we have no hostile intentions. I believe you, but some of my colleagues are cautious about dealing with... disreputable ships. What does that mean? It seems you've been making more enemies than friends since you arrived from the... Alpha Quadrant, is it? Some think even that story is a lie. But not you. Of course not. I am here to help. Then I'd like to talk to my crew members. I'm afraid that will be difficult in the current climate of mistrust. Perhaps if you could tell us more about what brought you here... who you've been dealing with. I'll consider that after I talk to my crew members. You're not making it very easy for me to help you. Let me see what I can arrange. It may take some time. Commander. Talk to your contacts again. I want an alternative to sitting here waiting for him to get back to us. Your question is based on a faulty assumption. I cannot answer it. You can't deny being in contact with the resistance. I deny that we are intending to supply them with weapons. These lies are useless. We know you're helping the subversives. I want names. I have none to give you. He told you already... we don't know anything about the resistance! I've heard that many times from many people. Take him. Lieutenant, stop! That will not help either of us. He's right. Open up! No! Break it down! I see soldiers out there. Whas happening? They're everywhere... searching the whole area. I don't want to cause trouble for you. I'll go soon asit's dark. You've always been a troublemaker ever since you could walk. I've never seen such a willful child. But thas what I love most about you... your spirit. Now, don't worry. When they come through here, we'll be gone already. Now, your mother will want some of her things. Ah...a pretty dress to wear. They're only looking for me. You don't have to get any more involved than you already are. Why, if my precious girl is involved then I'm involved, too. Do you remember this? She always used to wear it on special occasions. I think today would count...as one. You know what I think she would like even more... is to see you wear it. I couldn't possibly take it... Be careful, be careful this won't heal if you move around too much. If you want to help, tell me about that prison. What kind of security do they have? Are there force fields, detection grids, physical barriers? Yes, all of it. What about guards? Lots of guards. The Mokra make a big show of it... always bragging about how no one has ever escaped. Listen to me... I can't bring you to the prison with me. It's too dangerous. I'm not afraid. And that could get both of us killed. You have to stay here. If I stay here I can't bring the letters. Letters...to the prison? Letters. Don't you remember how we used to write to her together? Here they are. I still write them... every week since she's been gone. I've always known that one day I'd be able to... to give them to her. I've never forgotten. These are all to your wife? How long has it been? My last letter... my last letter's not... it's not here. Oh, I wrote it three days ago, butit's...is not... I can't let her think I've stopped writing... that I gave up hope only, only days before... Huh, I'll write it again. My hand... my hand shakes sometimes. You write it so it looks nice. I'm very sorry, I have to go before the soldiers come. The last one... the last one was about... My memory isn't very good. No, I remember. I went walking in the morning. It was...it was very cold. Tell her I wore my sweater. She worries about that sort of...thing. And...and, uh... and I, uh, and I what? And I saw they had torn down that old building where you and the other children used to...to play. And, uh...what...? Tell her that it rained for two and a half days. I don't know if she can see the sky... where they're keeping her. And...there was more. There was something about a friend... I... Why can't I remember? I wanted to tell her! Is all right. She'll understand. Yes, yes, you're right. She will. Please let me come with you. I'm sorry;, thas not possible. Check this one here! Is there another way out? Open up or else! There. Open the door! Open the door now! Break it down! This is a waste of time. We don't need him anyway. I need him. If he's a member of the resistance, he may be able to help me contact my ship. Monster! He's the one. He took your mother. We have to... They want a fight. Don't give them one. What? I've done nothing! I've done nothing. Please! Please... You look like a helpful citizen. So, tell me. You might have seen some strangers who were in the marketplace earlier today. No, sir. No, I've seen no one. Please. You! I'm looking for someone, a woman. I haven't seen any woman. There are two right over here. You see them, don't you? Yes. Maybe we should discuss this elsewhere. Caylem... Good morning. I seem to have lost my hat. Is about this...this big. Have you seen my hat? Run along, old man. Without my hat? There you go. There...is... is all right now. They've gone. The prison is in the northeast corner of the city. My sources tell me is surrounded by metaphasic shields. Can we find a way to beam through them? The Mokra aren't familiar with transporter technology. There is a periodic fluctuation in the shielïs energy pattern. I'm working on a way to take advantage of it. There's only one problem with that. If the Mokra detect us breaking through their shields, we'll be surrounded by soldiers in seconds. If we could beam in close enough to where the away team is being held, we might be able to get in and out of there before the Mokra had a chance to react. We can't locate the away team from here. The detention level is subterranean and the rock is too dense for our sensors to penetrate. You'll have to look for them after you beam into the prison. Too dangerous. We can't risk beaming in. We'll have to find another way that the Mokra won't detect. Sounds like a challenge for you, Mr. Kim. You'd be welcome to use our transmitter if we still had one. The Mokra confiscated it this morning. Then I'll have to find my crew members myself. I know two of them were arrested. What about Neelix? He stayed inside with me, then got transported up to your ship. Good. What can you tell me about the prison? I know about the prison. We need all the information we can get. I have to reach my crew. Don't you think there are people in there I'd like to get out? Any sane person would tell youit's impossible. Spoken like a coward. I've heard about you, old man. You're the coward! Enough. What are you doing with this lunatic? Has he been telling you stories of his brave deeds? They're just fantasies. Taking him along on this rescue mission of yours is suicide. He's already saved me from the Mokra once. And he saved you from those soldiers today. All right, stay with him. Go off to the prison, get yourself killed. I don't have to get killed if you'll tell me what you know. There are access tunnels on the north side. They'll get you in a little closer, but they're guarded. Then I'll need weapons. They're not free. I don't have anything to trade. Thas worth some weapons. I can't. Yes, you can... if ill help to bring her back to us. Thank you. I can have someone meet you on the street in three hours to make the trade. He'll be wearing a blue vest. Watch for him. We will. Thank you. I'd wish you luck, but what you'll need is a miracle. He's more than three hours late. We have to consider the possibility that he's been arrested. You mustn't believe what he told you about me. I don't believe it. You're not a coward. I had to keep my little girl safe. It was just too dangerous to get involved. Can you understand? Your mother wouldn't listen. She wanted to fight. She was always...so passionate about what she believed in. She didn't care about the risk. You were proud of her. I didn't want to lose her. I didn't want you to grow up without a mother. I tried so hard to change her mind and finally she changed mine. She convinced me to go with her. I said I would meet her... by the river. She was leading a raid against a Mokra supply center. I said I would meet her... but I didn't... I couldn't. I was too afraid. She was still waiting for me when they arrested her. I could never tell you about this. I knew you would hate me. I couldn't bear that. Please, Ralkana, if you can ever forgive me... All right, I'll be right there. What is it? A blue vest. Thenit's time to go. What happened? He was wearing military boots like the Mokra. It was a trap. A trap? And you saw it? My clever girl. We'll be all right. We have each other. Thas all we'll need. Is not that simple. We can't just walk into the prison without weapons. Maybe we'll have to try a different strategy. We don't have to ask your friend any more questions if you give us the answers. I told you, I don't... I'm sorry. I guess I... I always assumed that Vulcans didn't feel pain like the rest of us; that you were able to block it out somehow until I heard... Was that you I heard? Vulcans are capable of suppressing certain levels of physical pain. Beyond that, we must simply endure the experience. How can you say that so calmly? You must feel some anger at what they did to you... some desire to fight back. Under the circumstances, physical resistance is ineffective. We are...fighting back by refusing to give them any information. Get down there! Three more hours. There's nothing going on around here. Wake me if the Lieutenant shows up, will you? You girls aren't supposed to come down here anymore. Do you want me to leave? I didn't say that. Then I won't. If my Lieutenant saw you here, I'd be in trouble. Nobody will see us back here. Is dark... private. I like this strategy. Ready to go? No...you're not coming with me. Of course I am. We settled this. You told that man, Darod, how I saved you from the Mokra! You did save me. Now I'm returning the favor. I promise I'll try to find your wife. Wait! Ralkana! No! I've been studying their orbital sensor net. It surrounds the entire planet. This is the most sophisticated system I've ever seen. It monitors everything we do, there's no way of disabling it from orbit. So much for a surprise attack. We may still be able to surprise them even if they do see us coming. We could modify the main deflector to send out dozens of radion beams which should penetrate the prison shields. One of them will carry our transporter signal, but the sensor net won't be able to distinguish which one, so the Mokra won't know the exact location we're beaming to. And they won't know where to concentrate their defenses. Thas the best head start I can give you. Then ill have to do. How long will it take to modify the deflector? I can do it right now. Chakotay to Paris. Is the rescue team ready? Standing by. Prepare for transport. Deflector ready, Commander. Initiate the radion beams. Sending out the first volley... Is working. They're getting through the shields. Begin the transport. Transporter Room 2, synchronize your confinement beams to... That came from the surface. Maximum shields. Damage report. Shields at 90 percent. That was a precision hit right to the source of the beams. Main deflector is now off-line. We're being hailed from the surface. On screen. Your attempt to penetrate our defenses is a hostile act against the Mokra Order. There are now 85 phased- ion cannons targeted at your ship. If you don't withdraw from Mokra space in two minutes, we will open fire. Commander. Give me some good news, Mr. Kim. There's a disruption in the shields around the prison. That qualifies. Good work. I wish I could take credit for it, butit's coming from inside the prison. Can we get through? Yes, but the Mokra will detect our transport. Sounds like they have other things to worry about right now. That disruption might not be accidental. Someone in there might be trying to get out. Thas a big assumption. Even if our people didn't cause the problem, you know they'd take advantage of it. This is our best chance to find them. In about 30 seconds, the Mokra are going to open fire. I don't know how long we'll be able to wait for you. Understood. Darod. I'm looking for my people. Back this way. I'll show you. Don't move. There you are. What are you doing here? I would do everything in my power to protect my only child. There's a phased- ion charge coming at us from the planet. Full power to the shields. Shields at 60 percent. Minor damage on Deck 14. They're firing again. Modulate the shield frequencies. Try to throw off their sensors. No effect. Direct hit to the port nacelle. Redirect all warp power to the shields. Two more coming in. Captain. We've got to get you back to the ship. You're hurt. Ralkana, the other cells are this way. We must find your mother. Follow this passageway until it dead- ends. Then you'll see a smaller passageway. Captain, what are you doing? There's one more person I have to find. Guards! After all that time I spent looking for you, all I had to do was wait here. Shields down to 23 percent. We've got to get out of their weapons range. Scan one more time for the away team. There's no sign of them. Prepare to break orbit. Wait! Set a course bearing 219 mark 47. Where are you taking us, Mr. Kim? There's a large electrical storm over the northern magnetic pole. Is giving our sensors some trouble. It should do the same for theirs. - A blind spot. - Exactly. If we maintain our position directly above the storm, their sensor net may not be able to keep an accurate lock on our position. How long do you think this'll work? The storm's already dissipating. A few more minutes? I'll take every second I can get. I must say I'm impressed, Caylem. You never made it this far before. Every so often, he goes on one of his missions... to rescue his wife. She's been dead for 12 years. Lies. Lies... lies! Sometimes...he gets all the way up to the front gate. We send him on his way and allow him to serve as a reminder of just how futile it is to challenge us. I thought you'd learned that lesson when you lost your daughter. She made it as far as the tunnels before she was shot. No! So much tragedy for one man to bear... and now your foolishness has condemned another innocent woman. Take the others back for questioning. I'll interrogate this one myself. No! I won't let you hurt her! Caylem! Ralkana... he said you'd been shot. He was lying to you, Father. I'm all right. And your mother? She's fine. She was so happy to get your letters. She wanted me to tell you something. She forgives you. We both do. My sweet girl. Captain. I'm coming. No one will forget what he did here today. I'll make sure of that. Chakotay to Transporter Room 2. Do we have them? We're all back, Commander. Take us out of here. Gladly. Lieutenant, you heard her. The warp drive is functioning normally, and we'll have the main deflector back on line tomorrow. Yes, thank you, Mr. Kim. Captain, are you all right? I'm fine. Your son is arrived from London. - Father... - John... You will see in my will the estate of Norland was left to me in a way - - That prevents me from dividing it between my two families. Norland, in its entirety, is therefore yours by law. And I am happy for you and Fanny. But your stepmother, my wife and daughters are left only 500 a year. Barely enough to live on. Nothing for the girls' dowries. - You must help them. - Of course. You must promise to do this. I promise, Father. I promise. Help them? What do you mean? I mean to give them 3,000. The interest will be an extra income. - The gift will fulfil my promise. - Without question. More than amply. One had rather. On such occasions. do too much than too little. Of course, he did not stipulate a particular sum. What do you say to 1,500, then? What brother would be so kind to his real sisters. Let alone half-blood? - They can hardly expect more. - What can you afford? 100 a year to their mother is better than losing 1,500 at once. Should she live longer than 15 years we'd be completely taken in. People live forever when an annuity is to be paid them. 20 now and then will amply discharge my promise, you're right. I'm convinced that your father had no idea of giving them money. - They will have 500 a year. - What more could they want for? No housekeeping, carriage, horses, few servants, keeping no company... How comfortable! They will be much more able to give you something. Marianne. can you play something else? Mamma has been weeping since breakfast. I meant something less mournful. A visitor in my own home! It is not to be borne. Elinor. - Mamma, we have nowhere to go. - John and Fanny will be here soon. Do you expect me to be here to welcome them? Vultures! I will start making inquiries for a new house at once. Until then, we must try to bear their coming. Margaret, are you there? Come down, John and Fanny will be here soon. Why are they to live at Norland? They have a house in London. Houses go from father to son, not father to daughter. It is the law. - Come, we'll play with your atlas. - It's not mine. It's their atlas. Do sit down. We are looking for a new home, and can only retain Thomas and Betsy. We're sorry to have to leave you all. But we are certain you will find the new Mrs. Dashwood a fair mistress. My only real concern is how long it will take them to move out. - How is Mrs. Ferrars? - She is always in good health. My brother is with her this season. Quite the most popular bachelor. He has his own barouche. - You have two brothers? - Yes. Edward is the elder. He's travelling up from Plymouth and will break his journey here. - If that is agreeable to you. - Dear John... This is your home now. - Fanny wants the key to the silver. - What does Fanny want with it? One can presume she wants to count it. What are you doing? Gifts for the servants. Where is Margaret? She's taken to hiding. - At least she can escape Fanny. - You've not said a word to her. I have. I've said yes and no. Good morning, Fanny. Good morning, Miss Marianne. How did you find the silver? Was it all genuine? - When may we expect your brother? - Edward is due tomorrow. He will not stay long. Will Margaret give up her room for him? The view is incomparable, and I want him to see Norland at its best. Mrs. Dashwood. Miss Dashwood. Miss Marianne. My brother, Edward Ferrars. Do sit down. Where is Miss Margaret? I'm beginning to doubt of her existence. Forgive us, Mr. Ferrars. My youngest is shy of strangers at present. I am shy of strangers myself, and I have nothing like her excuse. How do you like your view, Mr. Ferrars? Very much. Your stables are handsome and beautifully kept. Stables? Your windows overlook the lake. An error led me to a family room, but I've rectified the situation. I am happily installed in the guest quarters. Tea! They're all spoilt. Miss Margaret is always up trees and under furniture. I've barely had a civil word from Marianne. They've just lost their father. Their lives will never be the same. That is no excuse. Library. - These are mostly foreign. - Indeed. Magnificent. I've never liked the smell of books. The dust, perhaps. I hear you have great plans for the walnut grove. I shall have it knocked down to make place for a Grecian temple. That does sound interesting. Would you show me the site? Too expensive, and we do not need four bedrooms. We can share. This one. Then. We have only 500 a year. I'll send out more inquiries today. Pardon my intrusion, but I think I have found what you're looking for. Won't you come out? We haven't seen you all day. We'll have to enlarge it. Mattocks will help you adjust to our hours. Forgive me, do you by any chance have a reliable atlas? - I believe so. - I must check the Nile's position. My sister tells me it is in South America. No! No, she's quite wrong. I believe it is in Belgium. Surely not. You must be thinking of the Volga. - The Volga, which starts in... - In Vladivostok. And ends in... - Wimbledon. - Yes. Where coffee beans come from. The source of the Nile is in Abyssinia. Is it? Interesting. - How do you do? Edward Ferrars. - Margaret Dashwood. It adjoins this property, and would be a desirable addition. - I'll ride there and speak to... - Gibson. - He'll be pleased enough to sell. - He'll want more than it is worth. Have I hurt you? Thank you. Forgive me. That was my father's favourite. Thank you for helping Margaret. She's changed since you came. I enjoy her company. - Has she shown you the tree house? - Not yet. Would you do me the honour, Miss Dashwood? - It is very fine out. - With pleasure. - Margaret always wanted to travel. - I know. She's off to China soon. I'm to go as her servant, on the understanding I'll be badly treated. - What will your duties be? - Sword fighting and swabbing. Which will take precedence? All I have ever wanted is the quiet of a private life. But my mother is determined to see me distinguished. Orator. Politician. Even a barrister would do. If I drove a barouche. What do you wish for? I prefer the church, but that is not smart enough for my mother. She prefers the army, but that is too smart for me. - Would you stay in London? - I hate London. Country living is my ideal. A small parish where I might do some good. Keep chickens... Give very short sermons. You feel idle and useless. Imagine how that is compounded - - When one has no choice of any occupation whatsoever. Our circumstances are therefore precisely the same. Except that you will inherit your fortune. We cannot even earn ours. Perhaps Margaret is right. Piracy is our only option. What is swabbing exactly? "No voice divine the storm allayed. No light propitious shone." 'When snatched from all effectual aid, we perished, each alone." "But I, beneath a rougher sea, and whelmed in deeper gulfs than he..." No. Edward. "No voice divine the storm allayed. No light propitious shone." 'When snatched from all effectual aid, we perished, each alone." Can you not feel his despair? Try again. "No voice divine the storm allayed. No light propitious shone." 'When snatched from all effectual aid, we perished, each alone." Mamma... Look. This has just arrived. "I should be pleased to offer you a home at Barton Cottage, as soon..." - It's from Sir John Middleton. - Even Elinor must approve the rent. - Has she not yet seen this? - No. I will fetch her. Wait, let us delay. I believe that Edward and Elinor have formed an attachment. It would be cruel to take her away so soon. Devonshire is so far. - Do you disapprove her choice? - By no means. - Edward is very amiable. - Amiable? But...? There is something wanting. He is too sedate. His reading... Elinor has not your feelings. Can he love her? Can the soul be satisfied with polite affections? To love is to be on fire. Like Juliet. Guinevere. Heloise. - They made rather pathetic ends. - Pathetic? To die for love? - What could be more glorious? - Your romantic sensibilities... "Is love a fancy or a feeling? No, it is immortal as immaculate truth." "'Tis not a blossom shed when youth drops from life's stem." "It grows without water, nor ray of promise cheats the pensive gloom." A pity Edward has no passion for reading. You asked him to read. then you made him nervous. Your behaviour is cordial. You like him in spite of his reading. I think him everything that is amiable and worthy. Praise. Indeed. He shall have my devotion when you tell me he is to be my brother. - What shall I do without you? - Without me? I'm sure you will be very happy, but promise you won't live far away. - There is no question of... - Do you love him? I do not deny that I think very highly of him. That I greatly esteem him. I like him. Esteem? Like? Use these words again and I shall leave the room! Believe my feelings to be stronger. Further than that. Do not believe. Is love a fancy or a feeling? - Or a Ferrars? - Go to bed. "I do not deny that I think very highly of him." "That I... greatly esteem him." "That I like him." We are so happy that you invited Edward to Norland. We're all very fond of him. We have great hopes for him. Mother expects much of him. And in marriage. She's determined both he and Robert will marry well. But I hope she desires them to marry for love. The heart doesn't always lead us in the most suitable direction. Edward is a compassionate person. Penniless women prey on that type. Having entered into an understanding he would never go back on his word. But it would lead to his ruin. I'm worried. Mother will withdraw all financial support from him - - Should he plant affection in less exalted ground than he deserves. I understand you perfectly. Devonshire? My cousin, Sir John Middleton, has offered us a small house. He must be a man of property. He's a widower from Barton Park. It is Barton Cottage he has offered. A cottage? Charming. A cottage is always very snug. You will not leave before the summer? We can no longer trespass upon your sister's goodwill. - You will come and stay with us. - I should like that. Edward has long been expected by our mother. Come as soon as you can, Edward. Remember, you're always welcome. - Can't you take him with you? - We can't afford him. Perhaps he could make himself useful in the kitchen... Forgive me. Miss Dashwood... Elinor... I must speak to you. There is something of great importance that I need to tell you... about my education. - Your education? - Yes. It was conducted. oddly enough, in Plymouth. - Do you know it? - Plymouth? No. I was four years there. In a school run by Mr. Pratt. - Pratt? - Precisely. Pratt. While I was there... That is to say, he had a... has a... You're needed in London this instant. - I'm leaving this afternoon. - Mamma wishes you to leave at once. Excuse me. Edward promised he would bring the atlas to Barton. I'll wager he will do so in less than a fortnight. Dear Edward... Hello there! Sir John... Dear ladies! Upon my word! Here you are! - Sir John, your kindness... - None of that! Hush, please! Here is my dear mamma-in-law, Mrs. Jennings. You must be Mrs. Dashwood. Was yourjourney tolerable? Poor souls! Why did you not come up to the park first? - We saw you pass. - I made John call the carriage. - She would not wait. - We have so little company. I feel as though I know you already. Delightful creatures! - You'll dine at Barton Park daily. - Dear Sir John. We cannot... No refusals! I'm quite deaf to them. But I insist! Let us settle in. But thank you very much. Send your man up for the carriage as soon as you're ready. Goodbye. Don't thank us. Your feet are cold. What have you been doing? You can grow potatoes in this dirt. It's cold. I'm cold. Where can Brandon be? I hope he's not lamed his horse. Col. Brandon is the most eligible bachelor in the county. He is bound to go for one of you. He's a better age for Miss Dashwood. But I dare say she's left her heart behind in Sussex. I see you, Miss Marianne! I think I've unearthed a secret. You are worse than my best pointer. Is he a butcher. Baker. Candlestick maker? I'll winkle it out of you. - She's good at winkling. - We've none of us any secrets here. Or if we do. we do not keep them long. - He's curate of the parish. - Or perhaps a handsome lieutenant. - Give us a clue. Is he in uniform? - He has no profession. He's a gentleman? - You know there is no such person. - There is. His name begins with F. F? A promising letter. Foster? Forrest? Fotheringay? Featherty? - Fortescue? - Fondant? Might I play your pianoforte? Yes. Of course. - We don't stand on ceremony here. - Please forgive... I cannot remember when we last had a song in the house. Brandon! Come and meet our beautiful new neighbours. What a pity you're late. You have not heard our songbird. A great pity. This is my good friend Col. Brandon. We served in the East Indies. - Not a better fellow in the world. - You've been to the East Indies? - What's it like? - Hot. The air is full of spices. Now. Miss Dashwood. it's your turn to entertain us. And I believe I know what key you will sing in. F-major... You have no right to parade your ignorant assumptions... - You told me. - I told you nothing. - They'll meet him when he comes. - You don't speak of such things. - Everyone else was. - Mrs. Jennings is not "everyone". I like her. She talks about things. We never talk about things. If you can say nothing appropriate, limit your remarks to the weather. Surely they have enough reeds for a Moses basket. You know what they're saying? Word is, you've developed a taste for certain company. And why not? A man like you in his prime... She'd be a fortunate young lady. Marianne Dashwood would no more think of me than of you. - Don't think of yourself so meanly. - And all the better for her. Besotted... An excellent match. - He's rich and she's handsome. - How long have you known him? As long as I've been here, and I came 15 years back. His estate is but four miles hence. He and John are very thick. He has no wife and children. He had a tragic history. He loved a ward to the family. They were not permitted to marry. - On what grounds? - Eliza was poor. She was flung out of the house, and he was packed off to the army. I think he'd have done himself harm if not for John. - What became of the lady? - She was passed from man to man. She disappeared from good society. When Brandon returned from India he searched and searched. - - Only to find her dying in a poorhouse. I thought my daughter Charlotte might have cheered him up. Look at him now! So attentive! - I should try a little experiment. - Please. Let the colonel alone. All suitors need a little help. - We haven't heard you play of late. - You have a superior musician here. Brandon shares your passion for music. He plays the pianoforte well. You know as many melancholy tunes as Miss Marianne. You must play us a duet. Let us see you both side by side. I do not know any duets. Forgive me, Colonel. Will we never have peace? The rent is low. But it comes on hard terms. Mrs. Jennings has nothing to do but marry off everyone else's daughters. There's a parcel arrived. Look! When is a man safe from such wit. if infirmity does not protect him? If he is infirm. then I am at death's door. - He complained of rheumatism. - "A slight ache" was his phrase. Edward said he would bring it himself. "It gives me great pleasure to restore this atlas to its owner." "Business prevents my delivering it, which will hurt me more than you." "Memories of your kindness must sustain me. And I remain - - Your devoted servant, E.C. Ferrars." - Why hasn't he come? - He says he's busy, dear. - He said he'd come. Why hasn't he? - I'm taking you for a walk. - It is going to rain. - It is not going to rain. I fear Mrs. Jennings is a bad influence. - You must miss him. Elinor. - We are not engaged, Mamma. - But he loves you, dearest. - I am by no means assured of that. And had he such a preference, there would certainly be obstacles - - To his marrying a woman of no rank who cannot afford to buy sugar. - But your heart must tell you... - It is better to use one's head. - It can't be good for me. - It is. Stop complaining. - It's giving me a cough. - It is not giving you a cough. It's lovely. Come on, catch up! - Over there is a field of rabbits. - I don't want to see rabbits. - Is anything superior to this? - I told you it would rain. - Blue sky! Let us chase it! - I'm not supposed to run. Are you hurt? - I cannot walk. Run and fetch help. - I will run as fast as I can. Margaret! Don't be afraid. He's quite safe. - Are you hurt? - Only my ankle. May I have your permission to ascertain if there are any breaks? It is not broken. Can you put your arm about my neck? Allow me to escort you home. At last! She fell down and he's carrying her! Marianne, are you hurt? It's a twisted ankle. It's not serious. I felt the bone. And it's sound. - I cannot begin to thank you. - Do not think of it. - Will you not be seated? - I'd leave a water mark. - But permit me to call tomorrow. - We shall look forward to it. I'll show you out. Margaret, get the gentleman's hat. - His name! - To whom are we so much obliged? John Willoughby of Allenham at your service. John Willoughby of Allenham... What an impressive gentleman! He lifted me as if I weighed no more than a dried leaf. - Tell me if I hurt you. - She feels no pain, Mamma. Margaret, ask Betsy to make up a cold compress. Please don't say anything important. - He expressed himself well. - With decorum and honour. - And spirit and wit and feeling. - And economy. Ten words at most. - Change, or you'll catch a cold. - What care I for colds? - You'll care when your nose swells. - You're right. Help me. He's worth catching. Marianne must not have all the men to herself. - But what do you know of him? - There's not a bolder rider. But what are his tastes. his passions, his pursuits? - He has a smart little pointer... - Where is Allenham? Nice little estate three miles east. He is to inherit it from a relative. Lady Allen is the name. It's Col. Brandon. I should go out and keep watch. You're looking out for Willoughby. You'll not think of Brandon now. Come in. Good morning, Brandon. - How is the invalid? - Thank you so much, Colonel. Why set your cap at Willoughby when you've already made such a conquest? I'll not set my cap at anyone. - Lady Allen's nephew? - He visits. For he's to inherit. He has a pretty estate of his own. Combe Magna in Somerset. I'd not give him up to a younger sister for tumbling down hills. The man himself. Come. Brandon. We know when we are not wanted. Thank you so much for calling. Marianne. The colonel and Sir John are leaving. Goodbye. Thank you for the flowers. - How do you do, Colonel? - How do you do, more like. - Mr. Willoughby, what a pleasure! - The pleasure is all mine. - Miss Marianne has not caught cold? - You've found out my name. The area is crawling with my spies. You cannot venture out to nature... - So nature must be brought to you. - How beautiful. - These are not from the hothouse. - Mine is not the first offering. - They come from an obliging field. - I always prefer wild flowers. - Would you...? - Our gratitude is beyond words. I've grieved for this lonely house. Then I heard it was taken. I felt an interest which nothing can account for but my present delight. Pray sit, Mr. Willoughby. Who is reading Shakespeare's sonnets? - Marianne is reading them out. - And which are your favourites? Mine is 116. "Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments." "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. - - Or bends with the remover to remove..." - How does it continue? - "No. It is an ever fixed mark..." - "That looks on tempests..." - Is it "tempests"? It's strange you are reading these. I carry them with me always. Until tomorrow then... My pocket sonnets are yours. A talisman against further injury. Goodbye. Thank you. Good work. Marianne. You covered Shakespeare, Scott, poetry. When you know his views on romance, you'll have nothing left to talk of. I suppose I erred against decorum. I should have talked of the weather. Mr. Willoughby can be in no doubt of your enthusiasm for him. Should I hide my regard? - No. But we know so little of him. - Time does not determine intimacy. Seven years is too little for some, seven days is enough for others. - Or seven hours. In this case. - I feel I know him already. Had I more shallow feelings, I could perhaps conceal them as you do. - I'm sorry... - Don't trouble yourself, Marianne. I do not understand her. Marianne... - Haven't you finished yet? - No. Patience. You're not going to deny us beef as well as sugar? - There is nothing under ten pence. - Do you want us to starve? No. Just not to eat beef. If my behaviour was improper, I should be sensible of it. It has caused impertinent remarks. Do you not doubt your discretion? If Mrs. Jennings' remarks prove impropriety, we are all offending. Good morning, Colonel. Miss Dashwood. Miss Marianne. I come to issue an invitation. A picnic on my estate at Delaford. If you would care to join us on Thursday next. Mrs. Jenning's daughter and husband are travelling up especially. We should be delighted, Colonel. I will, of course, be including Mr. Willoughby in the party. I should be delighted to join you. Good morning, Miss Dashwood. Good morning, Colonel. The colonel has invited us to Delaford. - I hear you have a fine pianoforte. - A Broadwood Grand. - Then I shall play for you all. - We shall look forward to it. - Your sister seems very happy. - She does not hide her emotions. Her romantic prejudices tend to set propriety at naught. - She is wholly unspoilt. - Rather too unspoilt. The sooner she is acquainted with the ways of the world, the better. I knew a lady with the same sweetness of temper - - Who was forced into a better acquaintance with the world. The result was only ruination and despair. Do not desire it. Miss Dashwood. Col. Brandon's lawn is perfect for kite launching. Mind the pretty ribbons. Imagine my surprise when Charlotte and her master appeared with Lucy. The last person I expected to see. She came to join in the fun. There is no such luxury at home. I'd not seen you for so long. You sly thing! It was the Dashwoods she wanted to see. I've heard nothing but "Dashwood" for I don't know how long. What do you think of them? My mother wrote of little else in her letters. - Are they not as she described? - Nothing like. You are quite rude today. He's to be an MP. And he is forced to make everybody like him. - I said nothing so irrational. - Mr. Palmer's so droll. Here he comes! Now you shall see, Charlotte. Hello, Mr. Willoughby! You must meet my daughter Charlotte, and Mr. Palmer. - And our cousin, Miss Lucy Steele. - Welcome to our party. May I sit beside you? I've longed to meet you. I've heard nothing but praise for you. Sir John and Mrs. Jennings are too excessive in their compliments. The praise came from another source. One not inclined to exaggeration. What can this be? Is Col. Brandon here? - My horse! - What's the matter? - I must away to London. - Impossible! We can't picnic without our host. Come up to town tomorrow. - Or wait until we return. - I can't afford to lose one minute. - Forgive me. - I hope it's nothing serious. Upon my soul, this is all very unusual. - Frailty, thy name is Brandon. - Some cannot bear pleasure. You are a wicked pair. Col. Brandon will be missed. Why? Everyone speaks well of him, but no one remembers to talk to him. Nonsense. He is highly respected at Barton Park. - Which is enough censure in itself. - Really, Willoughby. Come, come, Mr. Impudence. I know your wicked ways. Reveal your beau. No secrets between friends. I'll winkle it out of you. I'll have you married to the colonel by tea, or I'll swallow my bonnet. - As if you could marry him. - Why should you dislike him? Because he threatened me with rain when I wanted it fine. He found fault with my high flyer and will not buy my brown mare. If it will be of satisfaction to you. - - I believe his character to be. In all other respects, irreproachable. In return for this acknowledgement, don't deny me the privilege - - Of disliking him as much as I adore this cottage. - I have plans for improvements. - That. I will never consent to. Not a stone must be added to its walls. Were I rich enough, I'd rebuild Combe Magna to this exact image. - With a fire that smokes? - Especially the fire that smokes. Then I'd be as happy at Combe as I've been at Barton. But this place has one claim on my affections none other can share. Promise never to change it. I'm honoured you risk your honour by seeing me to the gate unaccompanied. - That is what Elinor would say. - And she would be right. Miss Marianne, will you grant me an interview tomorrow... alone? - Willoughby, we are always alone. - But there is... There is something very particular I should like to ask you. Of course. I shall ask Mamma if I may stay behind from church. Thank you. Until tomorrow. Then. Oh. Virtue... Silently and with fear, enter the hearts of all that hear me this day. Will he kneel down when he asks her? They always kneel down. What is wrong, dearest? Willoughby? What is the matter? Forgive me... I am sent... Lady Allen exercised the privilege of riches upon a dependent cousin. - She is sending me to London. - This morning? What a disappointment. Your business won't detain you for long, I hope? You are kind. But I have no idea of returning immediately to Devonshire. - I am invited only once a year. - Can you wait for our invitation? My engagements are of such a nature... I dare not flatter my... It's folly to linger in this manner. I will not torment myself further. Willoughby, come back! Ask Betsy to make a cup of tea for Marianne. - What is wrong, my love? - Do not ask me questions. - They must have quarrelled. - That is unlikely. Perhaps Lady Allen disapproves of his regard for Marianne. - An excuse to send him away. - Then why did he not say so? - It's not like him to be secretive. - What do you suspect? - Why was his manner so guilty? - You think he's been acting a part? - No. He loves her. I am sure. - Of course! Has he left her any assurance of his return? Ask if he proposed. No! I cannot force a confidence from Marianne. Neither should you. We must trust her to confide in us in her own time. There was something underhand in his manner. You will think the worst of him. I give him the benefit of my good opinion. He deserves no less. I am very fond of Willoughby. I get next game, okay? -Coming through. Coming through. -Doctor, is he dead? -Please, get out of the way. -Dr. Greene... ... canyouconfirm or deny this report? Get Security to get these people into the Press Room. Do you question Dr. Ross' decision to fly the child here? -Not for a second. -Come on! Move, now! Let's go! Hurry! We're ready. Move it! He's hypoxic. All right, let's move! -Clear the blades and we'll shock him. -Where's the crash cart? -All right, the paddles. -We just landed at County General. -The doctors are taking out paddles. -Charging! -Clear! -One hundred! Several doctors are trying desperately to revive Ben Larkin. -One-fifty. -Clear! -So far their efforts are failing. -0.4 epi. -Charging 200. -Clear. -Will he make it? -Shock him again! One more time. -Charging 200. -Back. -Let's get him inside. We'll try it again. -Are we gonna lose him? -Got warming blankets? -We're all set. Damn. We'll shock him again, then we'll try rapid rewarming. -Get that gurney out of there! -That little girl? Molly! She crashed in CT. Pressure dropped. Now she's unconscious. -Said her stomach hurt. -Could've blown a mesenteric clot. Harper, get four units O-neg. Stay with us, Ben. Paddles. Paddles! Charging 200. Clear. Charging 300. Clear. -I got a faint pulse. -Pulse ox is 80. He's hypoxic. Let's change him over to a Shiley. Dr. Greene, the press is going berserk. They want a statement. We're a little busy right now. Tell them he's holding his own. Right. Let's get a CBC, lytes, blood gas and coags. -What's his core temp? -Eighty-two degrees. That's too low. Put him on heated humidified O-2. Heated saline. Let's start him on lidocaine, 0.8 mgs per minute. Hope he doesn't go back into V-fib. Doug, you're a mess. Go change into some scrubs. You're freezing, Doug. Go get some coffee and warm up. Hey, I need you here. Go change! I should never have put him on the damn chopper! -Got it, Carter? -I'm almost in. -Got the O-neg. -Hang it. -Oh, my God, what happened? -Get her out of here! -Somebody call my husband! -We think Molly has internal bleeding... ... fromtheaccident. -Molly! -Somebody get her out of here! Now! No! Molly! No, please! -Give me some suction. -My God. No! Number five ET tube, please. -It's in. -Bag her! Give her 0.3 of epi and 0.6 of atropine. Now! Come on, Molly. Come on, Molly. Epi's in. Dr. Ross! He saved Ben. -We're his parents. How is he? -It's too soon. -The news said his heart stopped. -It's going now. -How's he doing? -Coag looks good. Lytes are normal. -Blood pH 7.37. -Thank God for small miracles. -How's the patient? -He hasn't gone into DIC. There are reporters crawling all over. -What's his temp? -Eighty-five degrees. -He's not warming up enough. -Heated pleural lavage? His heart won't take it. We could bypass him and warm his blood directly. -That'd be fastest. What do you think? -You're the Attending. Call Cardiac Surgery for a perfusionist with a bypass pump and a heating unit. Lily, go get Benton. -Mark needs you for bypass access. -Got to stop the bleeding first. Thoracotomy tray. Now! -We'll go to the waiting room. -No, I wanna stay. No, we have to go. Come on. Come on. Ten blade. Retractor. Carter, start compressions while I cross-clamp the aorta. Yeah, I got it. -She's clamped. -What happened? -Abdominal bleed. She coded. -Start an atrial line. -I need two 15 French cannulas. -Mark, little girl's coding in 2. Hit-and-run, recent onset of abdominal pain. Crashed and went into asystole. We've infused four units of O-neg and epi and cross-clamped her. -Mesenteric rupture? -Probably. Nothing you could've done. Peter, I'll take over. Hypothermic kid in Trauma 1. Needs femoral lines for a bypass. Infuse another unit. -Peter, it's about damn time! -Cut down! We're trying internal paddles. -Charge to 10. -Charging. Clear. -Charge 20. -Charging. Clear. -Twenty again. -Charging. Clear. When I remove the obturator, be ready to hook up the cannula to the bypass. -What's his temperature? -Eighty-six. -He's going into V-tach. Rate's 180. -Give me 100 procainamide. Come on, Ben. You can make it. Hold on, buddy. Hold on! Time of death, 21 25. I'll go talk to her folks. Doug? Doug, your friend's awake. Hey. Hey. You're in a hospital. Don't try and talk. -Doug? -He made it. -Pretty nasty cut. -Yeah. -Could probably use a few stitches. -I'll do that in a little while. -What's his temperature? -Ninety-three. Vitals stable. Ninety-three. Way to go. You made it. How about that, kiddo? Excuse me. Are you the parents of the little boy in the tunnel? How does it feel to know that Mercy was three minutes--? Excuse me. I think you'd better leave. Sorry, I'm talking with these people. No, you're not. Hey, how are you feeling? -You made it. -Just like you promised. -Thank you. -It's all right. You remember Wrigley Field. We got a date. Sit down. Let me finish. -That one was crooked. -Yeah? Next time you can do it yourself. -Hey, Mark, thanks. -For what? You did all the hard work. I don't think I could've gone up in that helicopter. I just got lucky. No. You know about kids. As good as new. -Where are you going? -Check for reporters. All clear. -Get some sleep. -My car's in Grant Park with a flat. We'll pick it up tomorrow. I'll grab you a cab. Come on. -Guess I missed the opera. -Linda will understand. -Here, take my coat. -Thanks. -Grab a bite? -Yeah. -Oh, there he is. -Dr. Ross! Dr. Ross! -Over here, Dr. Ross. -Can we have a statement, Dr. Ross? -How are you feeling right now? -Have you seen the rescue footage? -How does it feel to be a hero? -Just a moment of your time. Dr. Ross, just a moment of your time. /supplied by CoBeR coberus@go2.pl - Where's your little girl? - I don't have one. - Where's your little boy? - I'm all by myself. - Are you sick? - No, no. Then why are you here? - For a job. - You don't have a job? - Did you see the pretty fish over there? - Did you lose your job? My daddy lost his job. - Did you get a new job? - Yes, giving big shots to little girls. - Mommy! - Big shots. There you go. - Mrs. Riblet. Weak and dizzy all over. - Be still my heart. - Smell something? - Yeah. Ma'am, smoking is not permitted in the hospital. This is my glaucoma medicine. My grandson grows it. Oh, no, thanks. Put that there. Why don't we put these away, so that we don't get busted? - Smells like primo stuff. - Yeah? God, I miss the '60s. - New computer? - Yeah. CD-ROM. I'm connecting us up by modem to Mount Sinai. Pooling our resources. A couple more things. Dr. Benton goes nuts if you're late or don't answer a page on the first beep. He has a bad temper. - I'll have to remember that. - Never contradict him in front of an Attending. - Who made brownies? - Wendy Goldman. - Hi. - Hi. - Damn! - What's wrong? - I think I deleted Radiology. - Well, did you back it up? - Was I supposed to? - Try Alt Q. That sometimes works. Hit-and-run pulling up. Ten-year-old girl. - Where's Ross? - A job interview. Hit-and-run, no witnesses. Found unconscious, responsive to pain. BP 140/90. Resp low at 10. Tubed her in the field. Multiple facial lacs, possible fracture to right lower extremity. Get Radiology down here. Trauma 2. - What's her name? - Lunch box says "Molly Phillips. " Somebody call her parents. All right, nice and easy. Keep bagging her. Here we go, people. On my count. One, two, three. All right, people, let's learn something. Carter, how do you check for spinal cord injury on an unconscious patient? - Look for absence of tendon reflexes. - Do it. Poor little thing. - Harper, what film do we want first? - Chest? I'll do a cross-table lateral to rule out a C-spine fracture. Deep tendon reflexes are present bilaterally. Babinski is normal. Harper, let's talk head trauma. What study should we do? - Come on, Harper. Pay attention. - Pressure's falling, 50/30. What do you hear? Diminished breath sounds on the right? I appreciate air movement bilaterally. No pneumo. - No, that's upper airway sounds. - I see a tracheal shift to the left. - So do I. - Tension pneumo. Good call. I'll teach you how to do a needle decompression. Carter, run the blood up to the lab. Our new Urgent Care Facility could use someone like you. - Urgent Care's a smart move. - Most emergencies are run-of-the-mill stuff. Sprained ankles, croup, concussions.... You'll spend most of your time on ear infections and well-baby checkups. Private practice is changing. We're chasing PPO contracts to compete against the HMOs. - We won't sacrifice our commitment. - That's what Pedes is all about. We're a family here. The kids you see today will be the parents of the kids you'll see in 20 years. We believe in continuity and commitment. So do I. - So do you want to join our family? - Yes, I do. How's she doing, Peter? She's stable. We're just going over her films now. Nasty break. Anybody want to take a crack at reading it? Type three tibial and fibular fracture with complete displacement. - Thirty percent chance of nonunion. - Excellent. - Were knee and ankle films ordered? - I don't believe so. Knee and ankle films are necessary to rule out injuries from transmitted forces. She's right as rain, Peter. Order the films. Come on. I've got a couple interesting Colles fractures you may wanna look at. Have you ever seen a middle ear bone fracture? - Hey. How did the interview go? - Great. - What did they say? - They said I was great. - Did you get the job? - Ninety grand a year and nobody dies. Hallelujah. Auf Wiedersehen. I'll see you around. - You okay? - Sure. Is this what you really want? Do I have a choice? Molly? Molly, do you know where you are? You're in the hospital. You were hit by a car. We're taking very good care of you. You like my ring? I know you're scared, but I'll stay with you. We called your parents. They'll be here very soon. Okay, let's extubate her. Carter.... - What's her tidal volume? -500 ccs. Gases are good. All right. Excellent. - We're gonna take this tube out. - Squeeze my hand. Make sure the cuff is down before you extubate her. Good. Now, what I want you to do is pretend you're blowing out your birthday candles. Take another big breath. When I say go, blow out real hard, okay? Go. - Nice. - Good job. Good job. Okay, let's send her for a head CT. I'll be in Exam 2. - What's your name? - What? What's your name? - I'm Harper. This is John. - Hi, Molly. Good. Other eye. Yeah. Your optic discs are perfectly normal. - Are you sure you have glaucoma? - My medicine must be working. - How long have you been lightheaded? - I wouldn't call it lightheaded. It's more like I float. - How long have you been floating? - About two weeks. How long have you been smoking marijuana? About two weeks. - Having trouble? - I lost Radiology. - That's bad. - No kidding. - You have a file-recovery disc? - No. Let me have a go at it. A couple damaged clusters, but everything looks intact. Jerry? Could you keep Mrs. Riblet's valuables while she gets a CT? - Help yourself, honey. - Sure thing. - Can I stay and watch Geraldo? - And disappoint Radiology? - What are you doing here? - Mozart ring a bell? - Fantasy of the Opera? The Magic Flute? - No. The charity ball. You promised you'd go. - That's tonight? - Yeah. The tickets cost my company 300 bucks. - Here's your costume, Don Giovanni. - No, no, no.... - That's tights. I'll just wear a tux. - No. Pick me up at 7. That'll give you an hour to change. Yeah, well.... - What are you going as? - Carmen. - Don't be late. - Yeah. I think you're gonna need this. Mrs. Wilson has been admitted with coffee-ground emesis 14 times with the same symptoms. Order all her charts and write a summary of all her discharge notes by tomorrow. - You got the computer fixed? - Yeah. Linda Farrell. - Why do you smell like dope? - I've been with a patient. - We're hooked up to Mount Sinai? - Beating the crap out of them. - What are you doing? - Playing Doom II. - How long does it take to play? - Months. I've done thoracotomies that were less bloody. He doesn't understand the educational value. Die, bastard. Die. Come on! - How are you feeling? - Okay. I knew you'd come. - Sweetie, of course we would. - I want to go home. Your daughter will be in the hospital at least several days. Excuse me. - Will both of you stay with me? - Of course, sweetheart. And, Daddy will you come back to live with us? - Well.... - We'll talk about that later. How could you let her ride her bike in the rain? - Don't blame me for this. - Who else let her do it? I'm doing the best I can. If you spent more time with her and less at the office with Sarah-- The plastic surgeon will be here soon. If either of you have a photo of Molly it would help him repair the laceration on her cheek. - Same picture. - Lake Geneva. It was a great vacation. Just need one. Hey, pumpkin. Handled that very well. I practice in my own family. Help! Help! Please, help! Please! Help! - What? - Please, my brother needs help! - Why? Why? - Hurry! He's gonna drown! Okay. Hang on, hang on. Hang on! We were playing in the tunnel. My brother got trapped. Come on. There you go. Give me your hand. Hang on, we're coming in! - Are you hurt? - My leg's stuck. Hang in there. Don't panic. We'll get you out of here. - What's your name? - Ben. Hey, Ben. I'm Doug. Let's see if I can move some of this stuff out of the way here. - How did you get caught in here? - We were by the canal and the water started coming real fast. - Just get it out, please. Just get it out! - Mom told us to stay out of the tunnel. It ain't my fault, Joey. The water just pushed me. All right, settle down, fellas. It's nobody's fault. - Are you okay? - I'm cold and my leg hurts. Let me take a look at it. It's your lucky day. I'm a doctor. - Let me check this. Does this hurt? - Yeah, a lot. - Try not to move it. - Is it broken? - It might be. - Oh, no. - No, no.... - Don't cry, Ben. Yeah, Ben. Don't cry. It's nothing compared to what I've seen. - Let's get him out, okay? - Please, please, get me out of here! It's gonna be a piece of cake. When I was a kid I used to build.... - I used to build forts in these tunnels. - You did? Yeah. You gotta watch, because when it rains, the water comes up really quick. Joey, listen to me. You go find a phone. You call 911. You tell them to send a rescue squad. All right, Joey? Go! Go! - Well, where's he going? - Well, this grate is locked. - I'm gonna need a little help. - But you said you could do it. - What's that light down there? - I don't know. - I'm gonna check it out. - Don't leave! - I'll be right back. - Wait. Just don't! Ben, listen to me. I'm gonna get you out of here. I promise you that. But you gotta do me a favor, okay? You gotta trust me. Can you do that? - Okay. - Okay? All right. Here's the first thing I need you to do. You gotta curl up like this, into a ball. Real tight, like that. As tight as you can. Okay? That's gonna keep you warm. I'm gonna see what that light is. I'll be back as fast as I can, all right? Like a ball. Like that. Now sit tight. All right. - Ben, can you hear me? - Yeah. - All right. Are you okay? - Yeah. Did you find something? Come on! Hello, is anybody there? It was blocked. - I'm so cold. - That's all right, buddy. Can you wiggle your toes? No. That's okay. How about your fingers? Can you move those? There you go. - Can you feel me squeezing your hand? - A little. Good. All right. Now all you gotta do is just think warm thoughts. You gotta think Hawaii and you gotta think the Sahara Desert. You gotta think about.... Come here! Come on! You listen to me. You gotta stay awake! You gotta stay awake for me, all right? Okay. All right? - I'm so tired. - I know that. Why don't we just sing a song. - You know songs, don't you? - No. All right, yeah. Yeah. How about "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"? All right, listen. Come here. I've gotta get some help. - No! Don't go. Don't! - It's okay. Please, don't. You gotta sing as loud as you can, so I can hear you. All right? - Say yes to me. Come here. - Yeah. All right. Here we go. - Hey, hey! I couldn't find it. - Come here. What? I couldn't find a phone. I couldn't find a phone anywhere. I couldn't find a phone. Come here. Come on. All right, listen. You go in there, and you find a phone. You call 911, and you stay here till help gets here. You understand? Go! Let's go! You all right? Hey, hey! Hey, buddy! - I sang it four times. - I knew you could do it. Hey, stay awake! You gotta stay awake for me. Come on, you gotta stay awake! All right, this will do the trick. We'll use this jack to get your leg out. So are you a Cubs fan? Yeah? Who's your favorite player? Who's your favorite player, Ben? Hey, come on! Who's your favorite? - Mark Grace. - Mark Grace? What? Are you nuts? Shawon Dunston's the man. Best shortstop in the game. I'll tell you what I'll do. Next season I'll take you to Wrigley Field. Come on, stick with me! Stay here. I'll take you to Wrigley Field.... Come on, damn it! We'll get a couple of dogs then we'll compare Grace to Dunston. All right? There you go. Hey, stay up! Stay awake! Keep your head up. Keep your head above water. All right. All right, so you think that you know a lot about baseball, do you? Come on. All right. Ask me a question. Come on. Ask me a tough one. Let's go. Stay with me. Stay up. Stay up! - Most home runs? - Most home runs? Hank Aaron beats Babe Ruth. That's nothing. That's an easy one. Here we go. Are you ready? Okay, we got it. We got it. All right, come here. - You gotta push your leg out. Ready? - I can't feel.... It's okay, I'll help you. All right, here we go. All right, buddy. It's okay. Come here. Come here. All right, listen, give me your hands. You gotta hold on right here. Hold on with both hands. You hold on! You gotta keep your head up above water. Do you understand? - Yes, you do. - I can't.... - I can't hold.... - I'll knock out these hinges. - I can't. - Yes, you can! - I can't! - Yes-- Yes, you can. Hey! Damn it! You hold on, damn it! You hold on. You hold on. You hold on! You understand me? Hold on! Here we go. Come on. We almost did it. No, l-- No! Ben! Come here! No! Ben! Ben! You're not dying on me, Ben! Not now! Hey. I shot the Hell Knight with my plasma rifle but he nailed me with a rocket launcher. Watch out for the fireballs. - Excuse me, Dr. Benton. - Yeah? I sorted through the charts and compiled the discharge summaries. I think your patient has a paraesophageal hernia. If you need anything else, I'll be in the Suture Room. - Where are we going? - To a nicer room. My lunch box.... There we go. Don't you be scared. I'll stay with you until we take you upstairs. - I made it in school. - It's beautiful. - It's for you. - Thank you. - Nice. - Yeah. - The plastic surgeon will be here soon. - We won't be needing your surgeon. - Excuse me? - My plastic surgeon's coming. - Who? - Fred. - Fred Mendoza? He'll cost a fortune. - It's only your daughter's face. - No, I hate him. That's why you called. - He's the best in Chicago. For lopsided breasts. Touchy subject. - Is he all right? - Mouth-to-mouth's not working. - His airway's blocked. - Paramedics are coming any minute. - That Medevac copter will take us. - That's a TV news chopper. - Is my brother going to die? - No, he is not! No, he is not! - What are you doing? - I'm a doctor. I need to clear an airway. - You got a pen? - What? A pen? Do you have a pen on you? Here we go. Come on! All right. Come on. Breathe, damn it! All right, here we go. Come here. Help me out. Get him up, get him up. I got him. I got him. - What do you got? - A 12-year-old trapped in a culvert. Possible fracture to the left lower extremity. Don't jostle him. He's hypothermic. You can cause an arrhythmia. I'm Dr. Ross. I work in County ER. I need a number six ET tube. There we go. - I need a portable O-2 and an ambu-bag. - You got it. We picked up a paramedic call. What happened? - He saved my brother. He's a doctor. - Here, let's roll on this. We're at the scene of an incredible rescue. It appears that a doctor has saved a little boy from drowning. We got it, doc. Call Mercy. - Mercy's not a Level 1trauma center. - It's the nearest treatment facility. This boy needs a surgeon. Probably an ICU. We gotta follow station protocol. - What's your transport time? - In this weather, maybe 12 minutes. - Where's your pilot? - Hey, Jimmy! Over here! - Sorry, doc. We got to move. - Wait, wait. We're losing time. - What's your flight time to County ER? -15 minutes. - Will you take us? - We're not medically equipped. - He's hypothermic, needs special care. - Mercy is closer. - Then he dies because there's no ICU. - Or else he dies in a news chopper. I don't have time to argue with you. I will take full responsibility for this. This boy is gonna die! Let's do it. It's a great story. Let's go! - What are you doing? - I need supplies. - I need a portable defibrillator. - I got a spare. - You're taking a hell of a chance. - Damn right! Let's go! Hold it right there. Here we go. One, two, three. There's no room in here. Give me the camera. - All set. - Get a minicam van and meet me at County. Here, here. Close the door. Let's go! Patch your headsets back to the station. - How's he doing? - He's okay. - You're filming this? - We're live from Chopper Five with Dr.... - What's your name, doctor? - Doug Ross. Dr. Doug Ross from County General. Just minutes ago Dr. Ross rescued a boy from a storm drain. I can see you're attaching electrodes to the boy's chest. What are those for? - What are those for, Dr. Ross? - Patch me through to County. Dr. Ross has just asked me to patch him through to County General. - You need a red key. - Look out for the Lost Soul. - Use the rocket launcher. - Mount Sinai's shooting us. - They're cheaters! Get them! - You do it! - I need a bulletproof vest. - Blast him with a BFG 9000! Look, his guts are all over the place! Quiet, you guys. This is County General. Go ahead. This is Chopper Five from Channel Five News. We've got a Dr. Ross flying in a hypothermic kid. - Doug Ross? - That is correct. Hold on, Chopper Five. Mark, Doug is on a news chopper bringing in a hypothermic kid. - What? - It's on the MICN. - What's he doing on a news chopper? - Look, there's Dr. Ross. - Turn up the volume. - Where's the remote? Doug, do you read me? - Mark, is that you? - What are you doing? I got a 12-year-old with hypothermia. I gotta warm him up. - I'm doing my best. What's our ETA? - About three minutes. Seeing a rescue in action, live from Chopper Five. Stay with us as Dr. Doug Ross struggles to save the life of this child. What are you doing? How's he doing? How's he doing, doctor? Malik, we need heated saline IVs. Warm up half a dozen to 106 degrees. Wendy, get heated blankets and a mattress. Jerry, tell Benton we may need him down here. - Heated peritoneal lavage? - Yeah, that's right. Come on, let's go! Can you warm him up now? How's he doing, doctor? - Why's the monitor doing that? - He's got runs of abnormal heartbeats. - What are you doing? - Trying to stabilize his rhythm. Come on. He's in V-fib! - Come on. - What are those paddles for, Dr. Ross? Stabilize his beat. They didn 't charge the battery! - Oh, my God. - God! I need your help. Turn the camera off. Turn off the camera! We've momentarily lost contact with Chopper Five. This is Warner Saunders, with Rescue in Action. Squeeze the bag when I count to five. - One, two, three, four, five. - Like this? Yeah. One, two, three, four, five. One, two.... We're gonna lose this. God! Three, four, five. Mark? Mark, where are you? Where the hell's County? - You told me to turn it off. - Get County. Tell them we need a crash cart on the roof, now. - Come on. How far out are we? - I can see it. Keep bagging him. Squeeze it like that. Like that. For you, Dr. Greene. It's Morgenstern. Yeah, I did think it was kind of risky. No, we're watching Channel Five. They're trashing us on Channel Eight. Listen, you do not need to come in. Everything is under control. We have an unconfirmed report that resuscitation efforts may have failed. It's always a danger up there in that copter in the Windy City. In a child with hypothermia, it can cause fatal arrhythmia. She's right outside. - Jerry, turn that off. - TV doctors.... Get Security to escort Dr. Mahoney to a less conspicuous place. Let's get the life pack and drug box. - Any sixes? - Nope. Go fish. - How are you doing? - My stomach hurts a little bit. Get a CT of her abdomen along with the head. Probably just a bruise. - Where are her parents? - Coffee shop. I get next game, okay? - Coming through. Coming through. - Doctor, is he dead? - Please, get out of the way. - Dr. Greene can you confirm or deny this report? Get Security to get these people into the Press Room. Do you question Dr. Ross' decision to fly the child here? - Not for a second. - Come on! Move, now! Let's go! Hurry! We're ready. Move it! He's hypoxic. All right, let's move! - Clear the blades and we'll shock him. - Where's the crash cart? - All right, the paddles. - We just landed at County General. - The doctors are taking out paddles. - Charging! - Clear! - One hundred! Several doctors are trying desperately to revive Ben Larkin. - One-fifty. - Clear! - So far their efforts are failing. -0.4 epi. - Charging 200. - Clear. - Will he make it? - Shock him again! One more time. - Charging 200. - Back. - Let's get him inside. We'll try it again. - Are we gonna lose him? - Got warming blankets? - We're all set. Damn. We'll shock him again, then we'll try rapid rewarming. - Get that gurney out of there! - That little girl? Molly! She crashed in CT. Pressure dropped. Now she's unconscious. - Said her stomach hurt. - Could've blown a mesenteric clot. Harper, get four units O-neg. Stay with us, Ben. Paddles. Paddles! Charging 200. Clear. Charging 300. Clear. - I got a faint pulse. - Pulse ox is 80. He's hypoxic. Let's change him over to a Shiley. Dr. Greene, the press is going berserk. They want a statement. We're a little busy right now. Tell them he's holding his own. Right. Let's get a CBC, lytes, blood gas and coags. - What's his core temp? - Eighty-two degrees. That's too low. Put him on heated humidified O-2. Heated saline. Let's start him on lidocaine, 0.8 mgs per minute. Hope he doesn't go back into V-fib. Doug, you're a mess. Go change into some scrubs. You're freezing, Doug. Go get some coffee and warm up. Hey, I need you here. Go change! I should never have put him on the damn chopper! - Got it, Carter? - I'm almost in. - Got the O-neg. - Hang it. - Oh, my God, what happened? - Get her out of here! - Somebody call my husband! - We think Molly has internal bleeding from the accident. - Molly! - Somebody get her out of here! Now! No! Molly! No, please! - Give me some suction. - My God. No! Number five ET tube, please. - It's in. - Bag her! Give her 0.3 of epi and 0.6 of atropine. Now! Come on, Molly. Come on, Molly. Epi's in. Dr. Ross! He saved Ben. - We're his parents. How is he? - It's too soon. - The news said his heart stopped. - It's going now. - How's he doing? - Coag looks good. Lytes are normal. - Blood pH 7.37. - Thank God for small miracles. - How's the patient? - He hasn't gone into DIC. There are reporters crawling all over. - What's his temp? - Eighty-five degrees. - He's not warming up enough. - Heated pleural lavage? His heart won't take it. We could bypass him and warm his blood directly. - That'd be fastest. What do you think? - You're the Attending. Call Cardiac Surgery for a perfusionist with a bypass pump and a heating unit. Lily, go get Benton. - Mark needs you for bypass access. - Got to stop the bleeding first. Thoracotomy tray. Now! - We'll go to the waiting room. - No, I wanna stay. No, we have to go. Come on. Come on. Ten blade. Retractor. Carter, start compressions while I cross-clamp the aorta. Yeah, I got it. - She's clamped. - What happened? - Abdominal bleed. She coded. - Start an atrial line. - I need two 15 French cannulas. - Mark, little girl's coding in 2. Hit-and-run, recent onset of abdominal pain. Crashed and went into asystole. We've infused four units of O-neg and epi and cross-clamped her. - Mesenteric rupture? - Probably. Nothing you could've done. Peter, I'll take over. Hypothermic kid in Trauma 1. Needs femoral lines for a bypass. Infuse another unit. - Peter, it's about damn time! - Cut down! We're trying internal paddles. - Charge to 10. - Charging. Clear. - Charge 20. - Charging. Clear. - Twenty again. - Charging. Clear. When I remove the obturator, be ready to hook up the cannula to the bypass. - What's his temperature? - Eighty-six. - He's going into V-tach. Rate's 180. - Give me 100 procainamide. Come on, Ben. You can make it. Hold on, buddy. Hold on! Time of death, 2125. I'll go talk to her folks. Doug? Doug, your friend's awake. Hey. Hey. You're in a hospital. Don't try and talk. - Doug? - He made it. - Pretty nasty cut. - Yeah. - Could probably use a few stitches. - I'll do that in a little while. - What's his temperature? - Ninety-three. Vitals stable. Ninety-three. Way to go. You made it. How about that, kiddo? Excuse me. Are you the parents of the little boy in the tunnel? How does it feel to know that Mercy was three minutes--? Excuse me. I think you'd better leave. Sorry, I'm talking with these people. No, you're not. Hey, how are you feeling? - You made it. - Just like you promised. - Thank you. - It's all right. You remember Wrigley Field. We got a date. Sit down. Let me finish. - That one was crooked. - Yeah? Next time you can do it yourself. - Hey, Mark, thanks. - For what? You did all the hard work. I don't think I could've gone up in that helicopter. I just got lucky. No. You know about kids. As good as new. - Where are you going? - Check for reporters. All clear. - Get some sleep. - My car's in Grant Park with a flat. We'll pick it up tomorrow. I'll grab you a cab. Come on. - Guess I missed the opera. - Linda will understand. - Here, take my coat. - Thanks. - Grab a bite? - Yeah. - Oh, there he is. - Dr. Ross! Dr. Ross! - Over here, Dr. Ross. - Can we have a statement, Dr. Ross? - How are you feeling right now? - Have you seen the rescue footage? - How does it feel to be a hero? - Just a moment of your time. Dr. Ross, just a moment of your time. London. The greatest city in the world. For 22 years, I've lived here Every morning I take a walk down this street Every morning, the street asks me my name... Chaudhary Baldev Singh? Who are you? Where are you from? Why are you here? Do I have a reply? After half a lifetime spent here... this land still remains alien to me: And I to it No one here knows me. None except these doves. Because they're like me Neither do they belong to a country. Just drop down where you find food Have your fill, then fly on When shall I fly? I don't know. Of necessity, my wings are clipped I'm shackled to my bread. But someday I'll surely go... to my land. To my Punjab "When the koels sing in spring, it's time again for memories" "It's time again for swinging under the boughs" "Come home o' wanderer, your heart beckons" "The mute soil doesn't read your letters" "Come, kiss your soil, bring back the earth to life" "Yes, you have your dreams: But we are yours too, your kin" "You are so forgetful, but we miss you so..." "Come home o' wanderer, your land beckons" Glory to The Goddess Yes Lajjo, I'm here safe and sound. - Good Why is my little one giggling away? - Mom! Every day for 20 years... Dad has been walking down the very same street... to his very same destination. Yet every day, you call him up... just to ask him, "Have you reached?" - You won't understand Just assume it's a ha bit. - Ha bit left unchanged... tends to become necessity-like. - Philosophy, again? You're twelve Talk like a 12-year old! Why all this big talk? There's no childhood, no adulthood. One is as grown-up as one feels All right! I lose! Now go to school, chew your teacher's brains, okay? Why d' you forget the almonds everyday? What to do? Just assume it's ha bit Will you get out? "This is the first time it's happening in 18 years" "Some stranger I have never seen, comes to my mind" That's my diary! - So what...? Only I can read it. - That was so funny Let me read some more. - No way! This is a private diary. Why hide anything from me? When a girl is grown up... her mother becomes her friend. Show that to me You won't tell anyone, will you? - Never All right. I'll read. You listen. - Very well "This is the first time it's happening in 18 years" "Some stranger I have never seen, comes to my mind..." "shadow-like before my eyes" "Someone raps on my heart" "Deep eyes want me to give myself up" "When I look at my hands, there I see a face etched" "A silken breath brushes my cheeks" "My hair still smells of the o dour on his hands" "Yes, it's happening for the first time in 18 years" "I've never seen this stranger who comes to my mind" Simi, you've begun writing quite well... and the boy seems lively. Who's he? Ma, I've yet to set my eyes on him So there's no one? I was wondering. One doesn't find such boys nowadays And you dream of someone you haven't even seen! Quite mad No Ma. This is no dream I may not have met him, seen him. But he's there. Out there, somewhere "The one who comes in my dreams..." "the one who teases me..." "just ask him to face me, once" "What's he like? Who is he? Who knows where is the one..." "my lips will say yes to?" "Is he someone I know? Is he a stranger?" "Is he for real, or just a legend?" "He stares at me, from far, far away" "Tell him not to rob me of my sleep" "The one who comes in my dreams..." "the one who teases me..." "just ask him to face me, once" "Some kind of spell is overcoming me" "Oh what do I do? My heart yearns so" "My heart tells me it's mad for you. Then why do you keep hiding from me?" "He makes me blossom, it's all his fault" "Tell him, I'm asking for the Moon" "The one who comes in my dreams..." "the one who teases me..." "just ask him to face me, once" Raj! This partying all night! Party all night and you don't sleep And how do you get up in the morning? Late for graduation! Hurry! Is it a holiday...? What Raj...? Late for your graduation? What to do? Last night... What's wrong with him? Has he had one too many beers? I hear someone has failed. The Dean has decided... to announce his name in public You've made Dharamveer Malhotra stand an inch and a half taller in his shoes! I don't think you heard it right. - I knew, someday you'd make me proud! And not only me, the whole dynasty is proud of you! Look, they smile at you My great grandfather Diwan Brijnath never went to school His son, my grandfather Diwan Dwarkanath failed... his fourth standard examinations. My father, your grandfather... Diwan Pushkarnath, failed his eighth standard examinations And I, your father, failed to matriculate Not having an education, failing, are family traditions. I'm happy... that you have kept tradition alive, and indeed you're two steps ahead We failed back home in India. You came to London and failed! Are you really happy? - Glad Education is all useless. Filling your head with books... won't fill your pockets Look at me. Runaway peasant-boy from Bhatinda-turned millionaire in London So, whatever happens is for the good. Join my offices from tomorrow Offices? From tomorrow? - Today, if you wish I can't attend office now. - Why not? Pops, you're a man of experience You know what amount of hard work it takes to fail. And I'm tired, Pops I want a little rest, you know, like along European holiday Long European holiday? How long? - Month or month and a half Will you hold this for me? And turn around Moron! Did I bring you up to see this day? No, don't drop that Are you all right, Pops? Pops, you're right. I ought to take care of your business You've become so old. - You tell your father that? Pops, I've decided against Europe. I'm joining the offices from tomorrow In this house, only your father decides. You're going to Europe No. I've had enough of a goodtime. My years of youth are over for me Never say your youth is over. All my life I've slogged to give you whatever I couldn't do When youth came and went, I never got to know But I wasn't sad, because I knew that my son will have my years If you think you've had enough of a goodtime... if you think the years of youth are over for you, well no problem Just go and live my years for me Ajit's letter? Lajjo! Look, what's here Letter! From my friend From Ajit Just smell it, lady! The fragrance of Punjab! The flavour of mustard curry on leavened maize bread Those long tailed shirts, the short knickers "My dear friend Baldev, We're fine here" "We hope to God that you, your wife and the children are well too" "You will be pleased to hear that my son has graduated in arts" "He has joined my business. By God's grace, it's time now... for us to let our childhood friendship mature into a relationship Let's make good the promise we made to each other 20 years ago. I hope... you will come here at the soonest for Simran's wedding to Kuljit Read on She's shy! See Lajjo? That's our etiquette, our culture My daughter is still so shamefaced. I'm not a failure In the heart of London, I've kept India alive! Still staring? Lajjo, your daughter's wedding! Celebrate it with sweets Chutki! I'm so happy today Can I say one thing? - Say four things It'd be better to ask Simran once. - What are you saying? Ever since she was a baby, she has known that she is engaged to Kuljit That she knows. But20 years... - Don't you worry! Simran is going to be so happy... you'll pray that she never gets the evil eye! I'll write to Ajit right away. God! At last, comes the day Simran, what are you doing? I had forgotten, Ma. I haven't even the right to dream No my child, of course you may dream But don't expect them to come true And who know, Kuljit might be the man of your dreams I don't care. I've bought your tickets. You're coming to Europe with me - I can't Babujiwon't let me go to college alone. Will he let me go away... touring Europe for a month? I have lots of work here. - You've known me for years Can't you make up an excuse? An excuse, I can find. But I don't feel like lying to Babuji Let me talk to Matonight Europe? - Yes With friends? - Yes For a month? - Yes Chutki, call the doctor. Tell him that our Simran has gone stark mad Will you at least take a look? - Check out your brains first You talk of traveling by Eurail? If he hears, he'll bring the roof down A lone girl mustn't travel like this. - Mom, I'm not going to be alone My friends are going to be with me. - No good arguing with me I'm not going to object. But you will need his permission Ask him when he's home God, please keep Babuji in a nice mood It's just beer. It's over there. - I told you. The store is shut Get out Got the beer? - Didn't find any Can't even do such a simple job? - That was an angry man I'll get it. - You won't Can I have an Aspirin? - The store is shut My head is about to crack up! It's sinusitis If I can't find an Aspirin, I'll faint. All the other stores are shut Please let me have one Aspirin. One Hindustani ought to help another Glory to The Goddess. - Here you are I'm feeling bad about forcing you to open your store for a small medicine I'd like to buy some other things from you I'll pick up some beer. Not for myself. My friends out there, they drink Put it down. - Why sir? Are you trying to con me? You aren't getting anything. Put it down You're getting worked up over nothing. This is for your profit Will you put it down? - Not that umbrella Here you are. A pound extra? No two. Keep it, okay? Shameless! You call yourself a Hindustani? You give India a bad name You're a liar and insolent! Get out of here I'm off. I'll keep this Rev up! Babuji What is the matter? You're late. - Bloody shameless scoundrel They call themselves Hindustani! Blot on India! Ought to drown themselves Rascals! No shame, no decency. How to respect their elders... they don't even know. - Have you had a fight? Scum! He came for beer. I told him the store is shut. He took it perforce He even broke the statue of The Goddess! Bloody half-caste! I say Lajjo, thank God that you and your daughters... haven't been marred by this British ness! Else, you would've been nowhere! Dam these scoundrels! Set sail in stormy waters, and you're in danger of sinking You were so little when we brought you here. And now... They said that a grown-up daughter is a burden on a man But a daughter like you, makes a father's chest swell with pride! You're my good girl Will you give something if I ask you? - Whatever you wish I want to take a look at Europe Eurail is offering a month's tour. All my friends are going Please don't be cross. I have never disobeyed you, Babuji I'll be going away to a land I have never seen The man I'm going to marry is a complete stranger. But... I have no complaints. You must've considered it in my best interests But I won't get a chance like this ever again. I don't even know whether I'll ever come back... whether I will have these friends later on Besides, it's only for a month. In a month, I will have lived a lifetime For the sake of my happiness, won't you let me have a month of my life? Please Babuji, give me one month Go. Live it up My baby Where's Simran? Where might she be? - Has she slipped in the loo? I told you to wake up Raj Did you? No Open sesame Do you have the keys to this? Anybody home? No one at home Haven't I seen you somewhere? At Robbie's party, no? I don't go to parties. - Great! Nor do I, ever Your eyes... What's wrong with my eyes? Reminds me of someone. - Of whom? My grandmother. Like you, her eyes too had hues of yellows and blues Keep reading. I only wanted to find out how you read upside-down This is the limit! Simran, you're here? I heard you've missed the train. - No, I took it I was afraid... - By the way, what's your name? Sheena Here I am. Shall we...? - Take it easy Pump it up - It's pumped. Look It's nothing. - Raj, where have you been? As usual. Caught up with a girl Girl...? - I help her onto the train And she falls for me. - What...? He bored me. He had me all alone, and he began flirting Same old hat... haven't I seen you before? She sidled up to me. - What? I was scared! Only so much space, and there she was with me Then? - Then what? She was lost in my eyes He was after my eyes. Wouldn't shut up. Boys these days... These girls! I just managed to come out unscathed What's that? - Invitation to a party I told you. It'll be a bore. - You prophesied a train crash And then we'd all be charred alive after supper in a dinner-hall fire Look, boys. - Where...? He's the one Where have we landed? Was this your idea? Us? Or the waiters? - For me. Rocky shut your trap Why did you have to call him? You know Sheena, haven't I seen you before? Me? Really? Where? - At Robbie's party? You might've. I go to so many parties You know Sheena... - What? Your eyes remind me of someone. - My eyes? Really? Whom? My grandmother Is she singing or crying? And I can play better piano You know how to play the piano? I was born on a piano. Been playing the piano ever since I was a baby You know, I've magic in my fingers. No sooner than I touch the piano... it starts playing Isn't that voice familiar? Was this necessary? Doesn't the magic in your fingers make pianos start playing? "Stop, my wild lover" "I've got to ask you something" "What are you, girl or magic?" "What are you, fragrance or poison?" "Come, let me touch you" "Wait, my wild love" "I've got to ask you something" "Look at me, smiling, unknowing" "I'm waiting for you, holding my heart" "She looks subdued" "But she has lots to say" "If you say yes, I have something to say" "Wait, my wild love" "I've got to ask you something" "What are you, girl or magic?" "What are you, fragrance or poison?" "You aren't the only pretty woman around" "Why are you the only one who's cross?" "The one I've fallen for, is someone else" "If she says yes, I'll take her in my arms" "Wait, my wild love" "I've got to ask you something" "What are you, girl or magic?" "What are you, fragrance or poison?" "Come, let me touch you" About last night, I'm ashamed I misbehaved with you I wanted to tell you something else What...? - This Run First come, first served Hurry! The train is about to leave. - Where did I keep my money? One minute, I don't know how to count this currency... lots of small change Can you tell me one, two's, eighths...? Stop Train's gone? The train is gone! Don't cry, Senorita But you just stopped crying It's raining! Don't cry, please! I'm with you, I'm here! Look Okay, I'm gone... gone! Here's your bell The next train is very late. To catch up with the train... at Zurich tomorrow morning, we can either take a bus or hire a car What would be your pleasure? Bus or car? Where's she? Ever since you met me, you've been harassing me What are you saying? - All along the trip... you've been chewing my brains. - I...? Something's always the problem with you. Today, I've missed... the train, thanks to you. - To me...? I wish to make it to Zurich on time. So you go your way, I'll go mine Strange! We're fellow-travelers, on the same destination, same train Why split up? Besides, aman like me ought to stay with a girl like you Wrong! A girl like me doesn't need a guy like you. Stop pursuing me I'll sew it up. I have a thread and needle. I'll buy you anew dress What have you got yourself into? I told you not to pursue me! Who do you think you are? What do you think of yourself? I wasn't pursuing you And I don't fancy touching you. Thank your stars I came in the nick of time Else, you would've been in jail. I help her, and she says this Hey, take her away What did you say? I got carried away Never mind Senorita, never mind. In big places, such small things happen What's about this Senorita? - My first girl friend was from Spain Why did you dump her? - She hated Indians You like Indians, don't you? - When do we reach Zurich? What's in Zurich? This is the real Europe So beautiful, so pretty. Sometimes, I fear, it might become dirty Here for the first time? - Yes Will you drive faster? - What's the hurry Senorita? Train leaves Zurich at 11:30tomorrow. We have a whole night and half a day We'll be there on time. - Still, if we could... What had to happen, has happened. Now you're with me Nothing can go wrong Europe is best done on foot Just the four of us. Chutki is way ahead of her years And Ma's more a friend than a mother. So I never felt the need for a friend You can't live the rest of your life with friends. Sometime or the other... you will need someone who will walk by you all your life Can't walk anymore. I'm tired. - Do I pick you up in my arms? I can't afford a hotel. Let's try that house. We might find lodgings Come. Arrangements for the night is done Which is your room? Situation is somewhat like this. There's only one room And we spend the night in the same room? You presume somewhat like that? How compelling! - Not quite so compelling I'm not staying here one minute. - You take the bed. I'll take the sofa No problems. - No way. I'm leaving I'm not joking. I'm going away. - And I'll have the bed all to myself? So nice... so romantic! And these curtains... so nice! And the view! No horses? It's so warm in here There! You have a fire going Granted. You have a great sense of choice You couldn't find a better place to spend the night, right? We were getting a nice room But you'd rather spend the night with me in the stables. Not in the room Eat - I'm not hungry All right. Don't eat. How am I bothered? Eat it I told you. I'm not hungry. Come on now. Eat What did you say? I got carried away Never mind. In big places, such small things happen You were right, Senorita. The spirit of adventure in this barn... you could never enjoy in that room. - But how do we get to Zurich? No, not Zurich. Tomorrow evening, we entrain at Berne. Tomorrow morning... we take the first bus at eight. I've found out everything Now, nothing can go wrong What's that? - Life Aren't you ashamed to drink in the presence of a lady? Better than dying before the lady! If you wish to live on... you too should have a bit, Senorita. - Don't you dare come near me All right, don't I'll see you tomorrow morning if you're still alive. Until then, goodnight "May I have a jig? - Oh no!" "May I try a pirouette? - Oh no!" "How about a kiss? - Goodness! No!" "Let me fly with the wind" "God! Help me" "The chill in the breeze sets my body afire" "I feel like..." "making love to you" "This never happened before" "I've taken my first step" "Let me fly with the wind" "God! Help me" "May I have a jig? - Oh no!" "May I try a pirouette?" - Oh no!" "Give me a kiss? - Goodness! No!" "Where do you think you're going, my darling, my love...?" "You're a pretty girl. I'm a handsome young man" "Come into my embrace" "Let me hold you in my eyes" "Oh, I'm drunk" "God! Help me" "May I have a jig? We laid her to rest under her real name - Dreidel. Flora Dreidel. If you find Malone, tell him I said he's a bum! Uh-oh. I helped you bring that TV into the building the day we met. You said it was for a friend. Actually, it was for me. You found my, uh... little hideaway. All these books, these videos, are yours? A hot plate? Enough food for a family of gorillas? - So I bend the regulations when I unwind. - (clock chimes) Uh-oh. Sun's almost down. Time to roll, partner. So, how'd it go with Mace's stepson? According to Pine Lawn, an old man comes by every Thursday to leave a rose on Flora Dreidel's crypt. I know it's a long shot, but... tomorrow is Thursday. All these years, and you still have a soft spot for Flora. Must have been tough becoming dead to the world, abandoning your wife. But you had no choice. The Illuminati decided you were irreplaceable. Excuse me? Nobody knew more about underworld dealings than Mace Malone. Once the gangs found out an outside faction knew their secrets, you were a marked man. You had to disappear. Thanks to you, the Illuminati had the goods to cut themselves in. They've been organized crime's silent partner ever since. Young man, how long have you been plagued by these fanciful delusions? Not as long as you've had this tattoo. For a man pushing 100, you're amazingly well preserved. How accommodating of the Society to provide members with rejuvenation drugs. You should see the dental plan. (Malone) We've been aware of you for some time, Detective. Despite all the roadblocks we've thrown in your path, you've managed to persevere. - Yeah, I'm funny that way. - You are impressive that way. What if I told you the Society might be willing to offer you membership? Provided you pass a loyalty test. You want me to prove my good faith? How will you prove yours? With a bit of information. Courtesy of David Xanatos - one of our lower-echelon members. You've got my attention. You OK? Our shift's almost over and you haven't said three words all night. Let... me... drive. - Hey, pal, it's my car. - I insist. All I could think about was what Elisa had told me. I was feeling hurt, betrayed and, most of all, angry. Make sure you buckle up. (tires squeal) I saw Malone today. The old man had a lot to say - not just about the Illuminati. Uh, that's great, but easy on the gas, OK? He told me I knew someone who could blow the lid off another conspiracy. One a lot closer to home. Matt, slow down! This is nuts. This is the end, Elisa. The end of all the lies and deception. Only your gargoyles can save us now. Are you out of your mind? You almost killed us. I won't give up until I get the truth, Elisa. The truth about you and the gargoyles. I know you're out there! Oh, I know all about you. Now show yourselves! (door shuts) I know. I know. This is where you shake your head and tell me I'm wasting my time. They... they don't follow me everywhere I go. Come on. This time I'll drive. This sounds like a stall. What do you mean we have to wait? We didn't get back in time. You can't see them now. Meet me back here ten minutes before sunset. You won't be disappointed. I promise. The rest of the day wasn't a total loss, not a by a long shot. I have a meeting with the gargoyles tonight. Your information was accurate. So much for our good faith. - Now we come to yours. - Just tell me what I have to do. Bring us a gargoyle. A few hours later, Elisa and I rendezvoused in the clock tower. She took me outside, but I still didn't know what to expect. Statues? You've brought me all the way up here to show me statues? - Give them room. - "Give them room"? (roars) Heads up, lads. We've got a bit more company than usual. So... you finally decided it was time? Better late than never. So they've taken an oath to protect the city, as they once protected their castle centuries ago. Except these days the people we watch over have no clue that we exist. Aye. And that's fine by us. Elisa's done well by you, Bluestone. You've proven yourself a loyal partner and a righteous policeman. - And you'll keep their secret, right? - Oh, I'll keep it. But I want a favor in return. Trust is not a commodity to be bartered for. Time you and I talked, Goliath... man-to-gargoyle. Goliath was nobody's fool, but Mace Malone had made it clear- if I didn't deliver the big guy to Hotel Cabal, I could kiss the Illuminati goodbye. Don't you think it's about time you told us what's up? Malone has an office in a condemned hotel. All the entrances are sealed off. If Goliath can get me inside, I can find the proof I need to expose the Illuminati. We'll back you up, lad. Just say the word. We don't want to lay siege to the place, Hudson, just sneak in and out. - This job is for two. - Make that three. Not this time. If you trust me, Elisa, really trust me, stay out of this. All right. I'm out of it. - I can get us past the lock. - So can I. After me. Whoa! - Bluestone! - Help! (crash) (groans) Now that's what I call an entrance. Who's there? What is this? I want answers! So do we, gargoyle. So do we. (banging) - Why didn't you use the key I gave you? - I lost it on the way down! Why didn't you warn me about that blasted chute? Any advance hesitation on your part might have made the gargoyle suspicious. But you played your part well. Now the fun begins. (Malone) Welcome to the Hotel Cabal. (Matt) That brings us to where we left off. It's going to be a bumpy night. I'm sure you've noticed by now this is no ordinary hotel. The Cabal is designed to decimate one's grip on reality. Once your defenses are down, we step in and strip your mind of its most precious memories and darkest secrets. By the time a guest leaves here, he's little more than a mindless cretin. Funny how the least little thing sets him off. I know what you're thinking - open window. Too good to be true. But too tempting to pass up. Argh! I'll bet that smarts. But you know what they say - no pain, no gain. Bravo, Goliath. You've earned a breather. Trouble is, nothing's what it seems at the Hotel Cabal. The strength I was expecting, but not the boundless fortitude, the indomitable spirit. This is a true warrior. Breaking him may take a bit longer than usual. Uh, speaking of which, suppose I'd gone down the wrong chute? With no key? Bad news, my boy. A warm body is all it takes to activate the automated mechanisms in any one of these rooms. Without one of these to deactivate the rooms, anyone caught in there would be bouncing off the walls forever. Mace! Check out the screen. Where's Goliath? Not to worry. He must be in one of the adjoining rooms. - This... this makes no sense. - (alarm sounds) - Now what? - It's the security alarm. Impossible. No one could navigate his way around the rooms like that. Unless... The key you dropped! Somehow the gargoyle must have found it. It's allowing him to pass unharmed from room to room. At this rate, he'll be out in minutes. Oh, man! There must be some way to stop him. Things are out of control now. I'm running out of options. Wait. Mace... You can't be serious. - I mean, what would the Illuminati say? - If I wasted the gargoyle? Lt'll be a black mark, no question of that. I'll be severely reprimanded. But if I allow Goliath to become the first prisoner who ever escaped Hotel Cabal, the flushing sound you hear will be me and my 75-year pension going down the drain. Notice the one-way mirror. (thud) - I can't miss. It's checkout time, gargoyle. - I don't think so, Mace. Bluestone! Whoa. - Going up? - As a matter of fact, I am. Hold on! You played me for a fool, Bluestone! You and the gargoyle were in this together! What can I say, Mace? (laughs) When you're right, you're right. I'll see that you get yours, Bluestone. Nobody double-crosses Mace Malone! Nobody! Poor Mace. Wonder how long it'll take him to realize he dropped his key. (Matt) OK, I admit it. To save Goliath's life I had to forfeit my chance to get in good with the Illuminati, bust their organization wide open. I believe this is yours, my friend. Thank you for lending it to me. But I still came out ahead, which is more than Mace can say. I'm close, so close. One more door. Yes! Just one more door. (sobs) Just one more door and I'm home free! Wow. Just... tell me why. Why did you keep me in the dark for so long? It's not that I didn't trust you. I guess... I just didn't want to share them. As long as I was the only human they confided in, it made me feel... special. I think I know what you mean. That might be why I've chased the Illuminati for so long. People may have thought I was a nut case, but at least I stood out. So, you two finally found each other. Yeah, I guess you could say that. - See you tonight, Captain. - Have a nice day. Hacker! What are you doing in this neck of the woods? Oh, passing through. Man, you look like you've been through the wringer. - (laughs) You don't know the half of it. - (laughs) I may know more than you think, partner. A lot more. An Illuminati pin? You? You've been one of them all along? I oughta knock you flat on your back! Well, I wouldn't blame you, Matthew. Truth is, you already floored me once. You were never supposed to get to Mace. That's why they partnered us - said I'd make sure you stuck to wild goose chases. Mm. You see, I figured Malone's stepson was just another dead end. After all, the guy hadn't seen Mace since, what, 1924. But then... (laughs) you had to muck everything up with that photograph and the Flora Dreidel connection. - I mean, who knew? - I'm not laughing, Hacker. Neither are we, Matthew. Like Mace said, you impressed us. The pin makes it official. You passed the test. You're Illuminati now. But wh? Goliath got away. Your job was to get him there. It's not your fault if old Mace couldn't hold him. - See you again soon, Matthew. - Yes, you will. (under breath) And that's a promise. The big new accessory with eyeglasses seems to be that strap that connects so you can take them on and off which I don't get because if you have glasses, isn't that because you need to wear glasses? "You need glasses." Isn't that what they say? An eye doctor doesn't say: "Would you care for some glasses?" People with crutches don't have a chain attached to their belt so they can just let go of them every now and then. Why not get a toupee with a rubber band for water- skiing? The thing could just... Hey, George. Gary? Where the hell have you been? I've been leaving messages for months. - I know, I've been busy. - Don't give me busy. Who's not busy? I'm busy. We're all busy. Everybody's busy. All right. Tell me. What's kept you so busy? Mostly chemotherapy. Hey, I'll see you. Hey, pig! Hey, hey, hey! So you called the cop a pig? I was yelling at the litterbug. I mean, this is my town. You don't throw trash on the streets of my town. So, didn't you explain that to the cop? No, I fled the scene. - Hey. - Hey. Kramer, I need to talk to Jerry privately. What about? - Kramer. - Oh, come on, George you can share it with me. - You're hurting me. - You gonna share with me next time? - Sure. I swear. - All right. I'm looking forward to it. All right, I got news. You ready? - Gary Fogel had cancer. - Oh, yeah, I knew. - You knew? How did you know? - He told me a few months ago. Why did he tell you and not me? - I don't know. - How are you closer to him than me? - So is he okay? - Oh, yeah, he's fine. He was in bad shape for a while, though. Really? How bad? Was he on his deathbed? No, he was on his regular bed. So why didn't you tell me? - He swore me to secrecy. - So? It's not like you're my wife. I still think you should've told me. You were better off not knowing. It's not easy to deal with someone in a situation like this. I was so nice to him I almost made myself sick. I'm gonna talk to him about this. That's right. You let him have it. Who is he not to tell you about his life- threatening illness? - That's what I'm saying. - His illness is your business. - Lf not mine, whose? - Lf not now, when? Were you just talking about me? No, an old friend of ours, Gary. Oh, the guy with cancer? You told her? She's not your wife. If I told you, you would've given it away. - You don't think I can keep a secret? - No, but he would have read your face. - You don't trust my poker face? - Do you ever win at poker? No. Hey. Oh, I just saw your old boyfriend on TV. - Jake Jarmel? - Yeah. I like those glasses he was wearing. Where'd he get those? - Why? You don't wear glasses. - I know. But I need a new look. I'm stagnating. I have to say, as a glasses- wearer, I take exception to that. That's like me buying a wheelchair to cruise around in. Yeah, I've considered that. Look, how do I get in touch with this guy? He's having a two-day book signing at Walden's. You know, we had a really bad breakup. The Jujyfruits? Yeah, the Jujyfruits. Okay, K-Man. - Enjoy the book. - Thank you. Listen, Jake where did you get those eyeglass frames? - I can't tell you. - You don't know where? Yes, I do, but I don't want anyone else to have them. Well, that's peculiar. Oh, there's that woman that never talks to anybody. Really? Every day she comes in and reads. Never talks to anybody. Oh, I spoke to Debby Biblow. She said to say hi. Really? Gary, I really have to say I'm a little bit hurt that you didn't decide to confide in me. Well, frankly, you can't keep a secret. You know, you'd get two pair, the whole table knows. Well, I still think it was wrong. I'm sorry. All right? I guess I was just thinking of myself. Yes. So I called the litterbug a pig. Not you. I like policemen. I wanted to be a policeman. Yeah, so why didn't you? I'm scared of being shot. Mr. Kramer, let me tell you a story. In 1979, I ticketed a brown Dodge Diplomat for parking in a church zone. That fine was never paid. And since then, that scofflaw has piled up more parking tickets than anyone in New York City. For 16 years I pursued him only to see him give me the slip time and time again. I've never got a clean look at his face but he's become my white whale. Mr. Kramer, that day was yesterday. But thanks to you, I don't know if I'll ever get that chance again. I like that eye patch. All right. I'm gonna move my car. My meter's up. - You can't park in this city. - Hey. George, you know that company I work for? They own the parking lot around the corner. - Oh, that's a Kinney lot? - Yeah. There's a space opening and I could get it for you. You'd just pay tax. It'd be, like, 50 a month. Fifty bucks a month? That's incredible. Okay. Thanks. I got lunch, all right? Still owe me a secret. All right, there is something I haven't told you. - Yeah? - But you can't tell Jerry. What do you think, I tell Jerry everything? It's not like he's my wife. Okay. Well the thing is I've been living a lie. Just one? I'm living, like, 20. What's yours? Well, I... I never actually had cancer. I'll see you. So he refused to tell you where he got the glasses? Flat out refused. Yeah, isn't that just like him? You know, he has to be the only one who has them. Yeah, tell me about it, soul sister. - Anyway, I told Jake that you said hi. - What? - You told Jake I said hi? - Yeah. I can't believe you did that. Why did you tell him I said hi? I never said hi. When did I say hi? - I never heard her say hi. - It's common courtesy. No, no, Kramer. You don't understand. He made the last contact between us. I had the upper hand in the post-breakup relationship. If he thinks that I said hi, then I lose the upper hand. It's like a game of tag. - Where are you going? - Nowhere. You're going to the bookstore to see Jake. - So what if I do? - Listen if you're going, you can get him to tell you where he got those glasses. Elaine! Hey. - How'd it go with Gary? - Fine. Fine. - Really? - Yeah. - Looks like something's on your mind. - No, nothing. I'm fine. So that's your poker face. - A regular face. - No, it isn't. I've seen your regular face. That is not it. What are you saying? All right, George, come on. What do you got? - I got nothing. - What do got? A pair of bullets? What are you talking about? Two pair? Three of a kind? - Will you stop it? - Oh, my God. You got a flush. - You're holding a flush. - I don't have a flush. A full house? You got a full house? Turn them over, George. I wanna see them. Come on. I'm calling. - What do you got? - Gary Fogel never had cancer! So you see, Kramer took it upon himself to say hi to you for me when in fact, it was an unauthorised hi. - You didn't say hi? - That's what I'm saying. - That's what you came to tell me? - Correct. - You never said hi. - Correct. - You still like me, don't you? - Correct. What? Hey, I have been trying to get this book signed all day. How can you say that I still like you when I didn't even say hi to you? Coming down to say that you didn't say hi is more of a gesture than if you did say hi. Jake... The doctors thought he had cancer but the surgery revealed he never actually had it. - So, what was wrong with him? - Nothing. He's been lying to me for two months? - That's right. - What kind of person is this? There's one other person who might do something like this, and that's you. - Well... - I don't even think you could do it. No, I could do it. - Yeah, I guess you could. - Come on. He was so worried about losing more hair with chemo treatments I bought him an unlimited gift certificate at the Hair Team For Men just to put his mind at ease? - You did that? - Yeah! - Oh, I can't wait to talk to this guy. - Wait! You can't say anything. - Why not? - Because he'll know I told you. Besides, he's giving me a parking spot around the corner for nothing. So because you're getting free parking I gotta pretend this guy had cancer? Yeah. Well, I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. And I'm supposed to see him tomorrow. Maintain the same disposition. You can't act any differently. You have to be nice. - Why didn't he tell me? - Because you were being so nice. - I don't think I could be that nice. - You be nice! Gary? What do you think? Check it out. - Is that from my gift certificate? - Yeah, buddy. You came through. You've been so nice. Yeah, well, I'm glad you could take advantage. Yeah. Hey, know what I'm thinking of doing? I'm getting rid of all my fillings because that mercury's toxic. - Hey, let me see your fillings. - I don't think so. Oh, come on. Open up. Let me take a look. You be nice. He's giving me a parking space. Parking space. Parking space. Well, what do you know. - Hey, lookie there. You're loaded. - Okay. Hey, look who's over there. Miss Cool Toes. Check this out, Jack. Hey, buddy. Hey. Look at you. What's this? - It's an eye patch. - You look like a pirate. I wanna be a pirate. - This is Gary. - How are you doing? Well, I tell you, there's only one problem. Can't see on your right side? No. It's itchy. - Nice car. - Yeah. Once belonged to Jon Voight. - Really? - Sure did. So, what made you just call me out of the blue like that? Oh, well, Gary told me you said hi. - I didn't say hi. - You didn't? No, I told him to send you my regards. I didn't say hi. - Regards? - Yeah, regards. Anyway, I admit I was dumb to go to the bookstore to tell him I didn't say hi, but he didn't have to act so smug. Oh, I hate smugness. Don't you hate smugness? Smugness is not a good quality. Oh, my God, that man over there. I think he's wearing glasses that look like Jake's. Pull over. Stop the car. Here. I think I've got a way of getting back at my ex- boyfriend. Good. Revenge is very good. Excuse me. - Excuse me. Excuse me. Sir, sir? - Yeah. If you don't mind my asking, could you tell me where you got your glasses? - Malaysia. - Malaysia? Yeah. Look, I know this'll sound odd, but can I buy them from you? Actually, I was gonna buy a new pair. But I can barely see without these. - Come on. - Well, these were expensive. Let's start the bidding. So you didn't think this was a date? No, not really. Why? Is it a date? I thought it was a date. No, it's not a date. - What about the regards? - Regards don't mean anything. I mean, it's not like I said hi. I mean, the fact is I shouldn't say anything. - No, tell me. - Can you keep a secret? - Me? Oh, yeah. I never had feelings for Gary until he got sick. But he was so brave and gained such a wonderful perspective on life. I fell in love with him. Yeah, he's got some perspective there. - Hey, you know what the whip does? - What whip? The whip in the Senate and the House. Well, in the old days when the senators didn't vote the way that the party leaders wanted them to, they whipped them. "You better vote the way we want you to, or there's gonna be big trouble." She won't talk to anyone, huh? Oh, no, she won't say a word to anybody. Well, she's talking a blue streak now, Jack. Well, well, the white whale. Oh, look at this. There's no place to park around here. I don't know why they even sell cars here. Don't complain. At least you have your health. George, watch out for that man! Hey, hey, get back here. Newman? The white whale. Can you believe he sold his glasses on the street? Can you believe someone would lie about chemotherapy to get a wig? - Would you do that? - No, definitely not. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't. Know what else? He picked up that woman in the coffee shop. - The one who sits by herself? - Yeah. - How? - Because he was brimming with confidence from the toupee. - Really? Debby told me she fell in love with him because he has perspective. She thinks a guy who lies about an illness so he can get some phoney hair has perspective? - He picked her up? - Walked right over to her table. Wow. Jake. Jake, take a look. See? You're not the only one who has them. I have them too. - Where did you get those? - Malaysia. I was in the area. - Kramer. - Just drive. All right. Now you listen, and you listen good. I know who you are. You're the scofflaw. - What are you talking about? - Don't play dumb. It's me, Cosmo. All right, so it's me. So what? You don't think I know how you're feeling every second of the day? Looking over your shoulder to see if someone's coming up sitting alone at night knowing they could be closing in. - I can't sleep, I tell you. I can't sleep. - Of course you can't, you poor sap. - Why didn't you tell me? - I couldn't. I couldn't tell anyone. So you've been living this secret by yourself? - It's been awful. - Yeah. I wanted to tell somebody. - Help me, Kramer. Help me. - All right, I'm gonna help you. I'll try some on, we'll see how they look. It's just hair. Ever see what that looks like in the back? You got natural curls on the bottom and that big phoney mat coming down on top of it. Some look good. The ones that look good, you don't know about. What if you got involved with a woman? How do you tell her? The way they make them, I'll never have to tell her. So you keep it a secret your whole life? Then at your funeral, the mortician comes out, " Mrs. Costanza I thought you might want this." It's no secret that it's my dream to have my own publishing house. If this Jake Jarmel book does, you know, what I think it's gonna do if I can get this whole thing off the ground, then I think I'll have something for you. - Oh, Mr. Lippman. That is so exciting. I mean, you have no idea how sick I am of running around town looking for socks. By the way, those are great glasses. - Oh, really, you like them? - Very unusual. - Well, you know what? - What? - You can have them. - No, no. No, no. Go to that place on the corner. They'll change the prescription in an hour. Take them. - Really? - I have no use for them. - Honestly. - I could use a new pair of reading glasses. - They're from Malaysia. - Oh, yeah? - Fabulous. Well, Mr. Newman, in all my years on the bench I have never come across anything quite like this. I have given this matter some serious consideration, and I've decided that what's best for the city and possibly yourself, is for you to keep your car in a garage that is conveniently located next to your home. I can't afford that. Afford it you will, Mr. Newman or this court will see that your car is impounded and sold at auction. Well, don't you worry, Your Honour. He's in my custody. Well, what do you think? I really can't say. - No, say. I want you to say. - It's not good, okay? It's not good. You look stupid. I'm sorry. You have to realise this has not been custom-fitted to his scalp. I really think this looks pretty good. Why not get white shoes, move to Miami Beach and get the whole thing over with? Maybe you could show me something else. As I said, it'll be different once we design something specifically for you. But I don't think your friend here is being very helpful. Oh, hey. I'm being helpful. I am the only one being helpful. I don't think you're being helpful! You're being disruptive. You make it difficult for your friend to improve his life. I'm preventing him from becoming one of those guys people snicker at because they look ridiculous. No offence to you personally. You people with hair think you're so superior. You have no idea what it's like. You ever look in the tub and see a fistful of hair? Start your day with that! All right. Take it easy. Take it easy. I'm sorry. Please. Hey, Jerry. George, you decided to get a rug. Good for you, Jack. Well, I'm just looking, really. Tommy, I'm gonna need a little adjustment. I'll be right with you. Listen, George, I got some bad news. I'm not gonna be able to give you that parking space. - What? - What? This judge has to use it for some scofflaw. And you know, you can't fight city hall. You know, Gary I had a little chat with George the other day. - You didn't! - I did. And he told me that... - I'm not 100 percent recovered yet. - Give me that thing. How's your life? All right? Yeah, not bad at all. And now, ladies and gentlemen of the press it is my pleasure to introduce you to Mr. Jake Jarmel. So, Jake, what's your percentage on this book? Actually, I have some very interesting information on that. - You know, this is a co-venture... - Where did you get those? - And as such it... - Those glasses. - Where did you get those glasses? - Where? Is this supposed to be some kind of a joke on me? Because it's not very funny. Give me those. - I want the glasses. Give me those. - Wait. Calm down. - Give me those. - Don't touch me! I'm gonna go look for some socks. Subtitles by SDI Media Group All right, everyone! This... is a stick-up! Don't anybody move! Now, empty that safe! Money, money, money! Stop it! Stop it, you mean, old potato! Quiet, Bo Peep, or your sheep get run over! Help! Baa! Help us! Oh, no, not my sheep! Somebody do something! Reach for the sky! Oh, no! Sheriff Woody! I'm here to stop you, One-Eyed Bart. How'd you know it was me? Are you gonna come quietly? You can't touch me, Sheriff! I brought my attack dog with the built-in force field. Well, I brought my dinosaur who eats force-field dogs. Yipe, yipe, yipe, yipe! You're going to jail, Bart! Say goodbye to the wife and Tater Tots. You saved the day again, Woody. You're my favourite deputy. You've got a friend in me You've got a friend in me Come on, let's wrangle up the cattle. When the road looks rough ahead And you're miles and miles from your nice, warm bed Round 'em up, cowboy! Just remember what your old pal said Boy, you've got a friend in me Yee-haw! Yeah, you've got a friend in me Hey, cowboy! Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am Big and stronger too Come on, Woody. Maybe But none of them will ever love you the way I do It's me and you, boy And as the years go by Whoa! Whoa! Our friendship will never die You're gonna see It's our destiny You've got a friend in me All right! Yeah, you've got a friend in me Score! You got a friend in me Wow! Cool! -What do you think? -Oh, this looks great, Mom! Okay, birthday boy... We saw that at the store! I asked you for it! -I hope I have enough places. -Wow, look at that! That's so... -One, two... Four. -Oh, my gosh, you got... -Yeah, I think that's gonna be enough. -Could we leave this up 'til we move? -Well, sure! We can leave it up. -Yeah! Now go get Molly. Your friends are gonna be here any minute. Okay. It's party? time, Woody. Yee-haw! Howdy, little lady. Somebody's poisoned the water hole. Come on, Molly. Oh, you're getting heavy. See you later, Woody. Pull my string! The birthday party? 's today? Okay, everybody, coast is clear! Ages 3 and up. It's on my box. Ages 3 and up. I'm not supposed to be baby-sitting Princess Drool. Hey, Hamm. -Look, I'm Picasso! -I don't get it. You uncultured swine! What're you lookin' at, ya hockey puck? -Hey, Sarge, have you seen Slinky? -Sir! No, sir! Okay. Hey, thank you. At ease. Hey, uh, Slinky? Right here, Woody. I'm red this time. -No. Slink... -Oh, well, all right. You can be red if you want. -Not now, Slink. I got some bad news. -Bad news? Just gather everyone up for a staff meeting, and be happy. Got it. Be happy! Staff meeting, everybody! Snake, Robot, podium duty. Hey. Hey, Etch. Draw! Oh! Got me again. Etch, you've been working on that draw. Fastest knobs in the West. Got a staff meeting, you guys. Come on, let's go. Now, where is that... Oh. Hey, who moved my doodle pad way over here? -How're you doin', Rex? -Were you scared? Tell me honestly. I was close to being scared that time. I'm going for fearsome here, but I just don't feel it. I think I'm just coming off as annoying. Oh, hi, Bo. Hi. I wanted to thank you, Woody, for saving my flock. Oh, hey, it was, uh, nothin'. What do you say I get someone else to watch the sheep tonight? Oh, yeah! Remember, I'm just a couple of blocks away. -Yodel-ay-hee-hoo! -Come on, come on. Smaller toys up front. Hey, Woody, come on. Oh, thanks, Mike. Okay... Whoa, whoa. Step back. -For crying out loud. -Thank you. Hello? Check. That better? Great. Everybody hear me? Up on the shelf, can you hear me? Great. Okay. First item today... Oh, yeah. Has everyone picked a moving buddy? -What? -Moving buddy? You can't be serious. I didn't know we were supposed to have one already. Do we have to hold hands? You guys think this is a big joke. We've only got one week left before the move. I don't want any toys left behind. A moving buddy. If you don't have one, get one! All right, next. Oh, yes. Tuesday night's plastic corrosion awareness meeting was, I think, a big success. And we wanna thank Mr Spell for putting that on for us. -Thank you, Mr Spell. -You're welcome. Okay. Oh, yes. One minor note here. Andy's birthday party has been moved to today. Wait a minute here! What do you mean the party? 's today? His birthday's not 'til next week! What's goin' on down there? Is his mom losing' her marbles? Well, obviously she wanted to have the party? before the move. I'm not worried. You shouldn't be worried. Of course Woody ain't worried. He's been Andy's favourite since kindergarten. Hey, hey. Come on, Potato Head. If Woody says it's all right, then, well, darn it, it's good enough for me. Woody has never steered us wrong before. Come on, guys. Every Christmas and birthday we go through this. But what ifAndy gets another dinosaur, a mean one? I just don't think I could take that kind of rejection! Hey, listen, no one's getting replaced. This is Andy we're talking about. It doesn't matter how much we're played with. What matters is that we're here for Andy when he needs us. That's what we're made for, right? Pardon me. I hate to break up the staff meeting, but... they're here! Birthday guests at three o'clock! Stay calm, everyone! Hey! Meeting adjourned. Ho, boy! Will you take a look at all those presents? I can't see a thing. Yes, sir, we're next month's garage sale fodder for sure. -Any dinosaur-shaped ones? -Oh, for crying out loud. -They're all in boxes, you idiot. -They're getting bigger. Wait, there's a nice little one over there. Hi! -Spell, trash can. -We're doomed! All right! All right! If I send out the troops, will you all calm down? -Yes! Yes! We promise! -Okay! Save your batteries. Very good, Woody. That's using the old noodle. Sergeant, establish a recon post downstairs. Code Red! -You know what to do. -Yes, sir! All right, men. You heard him. Code Red! Repeat, we are at Code Red. Recon plan Charlie. Execute! Let's move! Move, move, move, move! Yeah! Okay, come on, kids. Everyone in the living room. It's almost time for the presents. All right, gangway, gangway. And this is how we find out what is in those presents. Okay, who's hungry? Here come the chips! I've got Cool Ranch and barbecue! What in the world... Oh! I thought I told him to pick these up. Shouldn't they be there by now? What's taking them so long? Hey, these guys are professionals. They're the best. Come on! They're not lying down on the job. Go on without me! Just go! A good soldier never leaves a man behind. Okay, everybody, come on. Everybody settle down. Now, kids. Everybody... You sit in a circle. No, Andy. Andy, you sit in the middle there. Good. And... Which present are you gonna open first? -Mine! -There they are. Come in, Mother Bird. This is Alpha Bravo. -This is it! This is it! Quiet, quiet! -Come in, Mother Bird. All right, Andy's opening the first present now. Mrs Potato Head! Mrs Potato Head! Mrs Potato Head! Hey, I can dream, can't I? The bow's coming off. He's ripping the wrapping paper. It's a... It's... It's a... a lunch box. -We've got a lunch box here. -A lunch box? -Lunch box? -For lunch. Okay, second present. It appears to be... -Okay, it's bed sheets. -Who invited that kid? Oh! Only one left. -Okay, we're on the last present now. -Last present! It's a big one. It's a... -lt's a board game! Repeat, Battleship! -Whew! Hallelujah! -Yeah! All right! -Hey, watch it! Sorry there, old spud head. Mission accomplished. Well done, men. Pack it up. We're goin' home. So did I tell ya? Nothin' to worry about. I knew you were right all along, Woody. Never doubted ya for a second. Wait a minute. Oh! -What do we have here? -Wait! Turn that thing back on! Come in, Mother Bird! Come in, Mother Bird! Mom has pulled a surprise present from the closet. Andy's opening it. He's really excited about this one. -Mom, what is it? -It's a huge package. Oh, get outta the... One of the kids is in the way. I can't see. -It's a... -Wow! It's a what? What is it? -Oh, no! -Oh, ya big lizard! -Now we'll never know what it is! -Way to go, Rex! No, no! Turn 'em around! Turn 'em around! He's puttin' 'em in backwa... Here, you're puttin' 'em in backwards! Plus is positive, minus is negative! Oh, let me! Let's go to my room, guys! Red alert! Red alert! Andy is coming upstairs! -There! -Juvenile intrusion! Repeat, resume your positions now! Andy's coming! Everybody, back to your places! Hurry! Get to your places! Get to your places! Where's my ear? Who's seen my ear? Did you see my ear? Out of my way! Here I come! Here I come! Hey, look, its lasers light up. Take that, Zurg! Quick, make a space. This is where the spaceship lands. And he does it like that. And he does a karate chop action! Come on down, guys! It's time for games! We've got prizes! -What is it? -Can you see it? -What the heck is up there? -Woody, who's up there with ya? Woody? -What are you doing under the bed? -Nothin'. Nothin'. I'm sure Andy was just a little excited, that's all. Too much cake and ice cream, I suppose. It's just a mistake! Well, that mistake is sitting in your spot, Woody. -Have you been replaced? -What did I tell you earlier? No one is getting replaced. Now, let's all be polite and give whatever it is up there a nice, big Andy's-room welcome. Buzz Lightyear to Star Command. Come in, Star Command. Star Command, come in. Do you read me? Why don't they answer? My ship! Blast! This'll take weeks to repair. Buzz Lightyear mission log, stardate 4-0-7-2. My ship has run off course en route to sector 1 2. I've crash-landed on a strange planet. The impact must've awoken me from hypersleep. Terrain seems a bit unstable. No readout yet if the air is breathable. And there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere. Hello! Whoa! Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Did I frighten you? Didn't mean to. Sorry. Howdy. My name is Woody. And this is Andy's room. That's all I wanted to say. And also, there has been a bit of a mix-up. This is my spot, see, the bed here. Local law enforcement. It's about time you got here. I'm Buzz Lightyear, Space Ranger, Universe Protection Unit. My ship has crash-landed here by mistake. Yes, it is a mistake because, you see, the bed here is my spot. I need to repair my turbo boosters. Do you people still use fossil fuel, or have you discovered crystallic fusion? Well, let's see. We got double-A's. Watch yourself! Halt! Who goes there? Don't shoot! It's okay. Friends. -Do you know these life-forms? -Yes! They're Andy's toys. All right, everyone, you're clear to come up. I am Buzz Lightyear. I come in peace. Oh, I'm so glad you're not a dinosaur! Wh-why, thank you! Now, thank you all for your kind welcome! -Say, what's that button do? -I'll show you. Buzz Lightyear to the rescue! Hey, Woody's got something like that. His is a pull string. -Only it's... -Only it sounds like a car ran over it. Oh, yeah, but not like this. This is a quality sound system. Probably all copper wiring, huh? So, where you from? Singapore? Hong Kong? Well, no. Actually, I'm stationed up in the Gamma Quadrant of Sector Four. As a member of the elite Universe Protection Unit of the Space Ranger Corps, I protect the galaxy from the threat of invasion from the evil Emperor Zurg, sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance. Oh, really? I'm from Playskool. And I'm from Mattel. Well, I'm not really from Mattel. I'm actually from a smaller company that was purchased in a leveraged buyout. You'd think they'd never seen a new toy before. Well, sure. Look at him. He's got more gadgets on him than a Swiss Army knife. Please be careful. You don't want to be in the way when my laser goes off. Hey, a laser! How come you don't have a laser, Woody? It's not a laser! It's a... It's a little light bulb that blinks. -What's with him? -Laser envy. All right, that's enough! Look, we're all very impressed with Andy's new toy. -Toy? -T-O-Y. Toy! Excuse me, I think the word you're searching for is "Space Ranger." The word I'm searching for I can't say because there's preschool toys present. Gettin' kinda tense, aren't ya? Mr Lightyear, now, I'm curious. What does a Space Ranger actually do? He's not a Space Ranger! He doesn't fight evil or, or shoot lasers or fly! Excuse me. Oh, impressive wingspan! Very good! Oh, what? What? These are plastic. He can't fly! They are a terillium-carbonic alloy, and I can fly. -No, you can't. -Yes, I can. -You can't. -Can. Can't. Can't. Can't! I tell you, I could fly around this room with my eyes closed! -Okay, then, Mr Light Beer, prove it. -All right, then, I will. Stand back, everyone! To infinity and beyond! -Can! -Whoa! Oh, wow, you flew magnificently! -I found my moving' buddy. -Thank you. Thank you all. Thank you. That wasn't flying! That was... falling with style. Man, the dolls must really go for you. Can you teach me that? -Golly bob howdy! -Oh, shut up! You know, in a couple of days, everything will be just the way it was. They'll see. They'll see. I'm still Andy's favourite toy. I was on top of the world livin' high It was right in my pocket I was livin' the life Things were just the way they should be When from out of the sky like a bomb Comes some little punk in a rocket Now all of a sudden some strange things are happening to me Buzz Lightyear to the rescue! Strange Things are happening to me Strange Things Strange things are happening to me Ain't no doubt about it I had friends I had lots of friends Now all my friends are gone And I'm doin' the best I can To carry on -I had power -Power -I was respected -Respected But not any more And I've lost the love of the one Whom I adore Let me tell you 'bout it Strange Things are happenin' to me Strange Things Strange Things are happenin' to me Ain't no doubt about it Strange Things Strange Things Finally! Hey, who's got my hat? Look, I'm Woody! Howdy, howdy, howdy! Gimme that! Say there, Lizard and Stretchy Dog, let me show you something. It looks as though I've been accepted into your culture. Your chief, Andy, inscribed his name on me. Wow! With permanent ink too! Well, I must get back to repairing my ship. Don't let it get to you, Woody. Let what? I don't... What do you mean? Who? I know Andy's excited about Buzz. But you know he'll always have a special place for you. -Yeah, like the attic. -All right, that's it! Unidirectional bonding strip. Mr Lightyear wants more tape. Listen, Light Snack, you stay away from Andy. He's mine, and no one is taking him away from me. What are you talking about? Where's that bonding strip? And another thing, stop with this spaceman thing! It's getting on my nerves! Are you saying you wanna lodge a complaint with Star Command? Okay! Well, so you wanna do it the hard way, huh? -Don't even think about it, cowboy. -Oh, yeah, tough guy? The air isn't... toxic. How dare you open a spaceman's helmet on an uncharted planet! My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets! You actually think you're the Buzz Lightyear? Oh, all this time I thought it was an act! Hey, guys, look! It's the real Buzz Lightyear! You're mocking me, aren't you? Oh, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Buzz, look, an alien! Where? Yes! It's Sid! Don't move! I thought he was at summer camp. They must've kicked him out early this year. Oh, no, not Sid! Incoming! -Who is it this time? -I... I can't... I can't tell. -Hey, where's Lenny? -Right here, Woody. Oh, no, I can't bear to watch one of these again. Oh, no, it's a Combat Carl. What's going on? Nothing that concerns you spacemen, just us toys. I'd better take a look anyway. Why is that soldier strapped to an explosive device? That's why, Sid. Sure is a hairy fellow. No, no, that's Scud, you idiot. That is Sid. -You mean that happy child? -That ain't no happy child. He tortures toys, just for fun! Well, then we've got to do something. What are you doing? Get down from there! -I'm gonna teach that boy a lesson. -Yeah, sure. You go ahead. Melt him with your scary laser. Be careful with that! It's extremely dangerous. He's lighting it! He's lighting it! Hit the dirt! Look out! Yes! He's gone! He's history! I could've stopped him. Buzz, I would love to see you try. Of course, I'd love to see you as a crater. The sooner we move, the better. Yeah! To infinity and beyond! All this packing makes me hungry. What would you say to dinner at, oh, Pizza Planet? Pizza Planet? Oh, cool! Go wash your hands, and I'll get Molly ready. -Can I bring some toys? -You can bring one toy. -Just one? -One toy? Will Andy pick me? "Don't count on it"? Buzz! Oh, Buzz! Buzz Lightyear. Buzz Lightyear, thank goodness. We've got trouble! -Trouble? Where? -Down there. Just down there. A helpless toy, it's... it's trapped, Buzz! Then we've no time to lose. I don't see anything! Oh, he's there! Just, just keep looking! What kind of toy... Buzz! Buzz! I don't see him in the driveway. -I think he bounced into Sid's yard! -Oh! Buzz! Hey, everyone, R.C.'s trying to say something. What is it, boy? -He's saying that this was no accident. -What do you mean? -I mean Humpty-Dumpty was pushed... -No! ...by Woody! -What? -Wait a minute. You don't think I meant to knock Buzz out the window, do you? Potato Head? That's Mr Potato Head to you, you back-stabbing murderer! Now, it was an accident, guys. Come on. Now, you, you gotta believe me. We believe ya, Woody. Right, Rex? Well, ye... N... I don't like confrontations! Where is your honour, dirt bag? You are an absolute disgrace! You don't deserve to... Hey! You couldn't handle Buzz cutting in on your playtime, could you, Woody? Didn't wanna face the fact that Buzz just might be Andy's new favourite toy. So you got rid of him. Well, what ifAndy starts playing with me more, Woody, huh? You gonna knock me outta the window too? I don't think we should give him the chance. There he is, men. Frag him! Let's string him up by his pull string! -I got dibs on his hat! -Would you boys stop it! Tackle him! No, no, no! Wait! I can explain everything! Okay, Mom, be right down. I've gotta get Buzz. Retreat! Mom, do you know where Buzz is? No, I haven't seen him. -Andy, I'm heading out the door! -But, Mom, I can't find him! Honey, just grab some other toy. Now, come on! Oh, okay. I couldn't find my Buzz. I know I left him right there. Honey, I'm sure he's around. You'll find him. It's too short! We need more monkeys! There aren't any more! That's the whole barrel! Buzz, the monkeys aren't working! We're formulating another plan! Stay calm! Oh, where could he be? -Can I help pump the gas? -Sure! I'll even let you drive. -Yeah? -Yeah, when you're 1 6. Funny, Mom. Great. How am I gonna convince those guys it was an accident? Buzz! Buzz! Ha! You're alive! This is great! Oh, I'm saved! I'm saved. Andy'll find you here, he'll take us back to the room and then you can tell everyone that this was all just a big mistake. Huh? Right? Buddy? I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet. -Oh. Well, that's good. -But we're not on my planet, are we? No. Okay, come on! You want a piece of me? Buzz, Buzz, Buzz Lightyear to the rescue. -Next stop. -Pizza Planet! Yeah! Andy! Wh... Doesn't he realise that I'm not there? I'm lost! Oh, I'm a lost toy! Buzz Lightyear mission log. The local sheriff and I seem to be at a huge refuelling station of some sort. You! -According to my navi-computer, the... -Shut up! -Just shut up, you idiot! -Sheriff, this is no time to panic. This is the perfect time to panic. I'm lost. Andy is gone. They're gonna move from their house in two days, and it's all your fault! My... My fault? If you hadn't pushed me out of the window in the first place... Oh, yeah? Well, if you hadn't shown up in your stupid little cardboard spaceship and taken away everything that was important to me... Don't talk to me about importance! Because of you the security of this entire universe is in jeopardy! What? What are you talkin' about? Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet! I alone have information that reveals this weapon's only weakness. And you, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command! You... are... a... toy! You aren't the real Buzz Lightyear! You're a... You're an action figure! You are a child's plaything! You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. Farewell. Oh, yeah? Well, good riddance, ya loony! "Rendezvous with Star Command." -Hey, gas dude! -You talkin' to me? -Yeah, man. Can you help me? -Pizza Planet? Andy! Do you know where Cutting Boulevard is? Oh, no! I can't show my face in that room without Buzz. -Buzz! Buzz, come back! -Go away! No! Buzz, you gotta come back! I... I found a spaceship! It's a spaceship, Buzz! Come on, man, hurry up! Like, the pizzas are getting cold here! -Cutting Boulevard, huh? -Yeah, yeah. Which way? Now, you're sure this space freighter will return to its port of origin once it jettisons its food supply? And when we get there, we'll be able to find a way to transport you home. -Well, then, let's climb aboard. -No, no, no, wait, Buzz! Buzz! Let's get in the back. No one will see us there. Negative. There are no restraining harnesses in the cargo area. -We'll be much safer in the cockpit. -Yeah, bu... Buzz! Buzz! That's two lefts and a right, huh? -Thanks for the directions, okay? -Yeah. And remember, kid... Buzz! It's safer in the cockpit than the cargo bay. What an idiot. Next shuttle lift-off is scheduled for T-minus 30 minutes and counting. You are clear to enter. Welcome to Pizza Planet. The white zone is for immediate pizza... Sheriff! There you are. Now, the entrance is heavily guarded. We need a way to get inside. Great idea, Woody. I like your thinkin'. You are clear to enter. Welcome to Pizza Planet. Now! Quickly, Sheriff! The air lock is closing. Jones, party of five, your shuttle is now boarding... Hey, Mom, can we have some tokens? Watch where you're going! Sorry. ...nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. What a spaceport! Good work, Woody. Mom, can I play Black Hole? Please, please, please? -Andy! -Now, we need to find a ship -that's headed for Sector 1 2. -Wait a minute. No, Buzz! This way. -There's a special ship. I just saw it. -You mean it has hyperdrive? Hyperactive hyperdrive. And Astro... turf! -Where is it? I don't see the... -Come on. That's it. Spaceship! All right, Buzz, get ready. And... -And the universe explodes! -Okay, Buzz, when I say go, we're gonna jump in the basket. Buzz! -No! -Mom, if I eat all my pizza, can I have some alien slime? This cannot be happening to me. -A stranger. -From the outside. Greetings. I am Buzz Lightyear. I come in peace. Before your space journey, re-energise yourself with a slice of pepperoni, now boarding at counter three. This is an intergalactic emergency. I need to commandeer your vessel to Sector 1 2. Who's in charge here? The claw! The claw is our master. The claw chooses who will go and who will stay. -This is ludicrous. -Hey, bozo, you got a brain in there? Take that! Oh, no! Sid! Get down! What's gotten into you? I was... You are the one that decided to climb into this... The claw, it moves. I have been chosen! Farewell, my friends. I go on to a better place. Gotcha! A Buzz Lightyear? No way! Yes! Buzz! No! Hey! He has been chosen! -He must go. -Hey! -What are you doing? -Do not fight the claw. Stop it! Stop it, you zealots! All right! Double prizes! Let's go home and... play. Sheriff, I can see your dwelling from here. -You're almost home. -Nirvana is coming. -The mystic portal awaits. -Will you be quiet? You guys don't get it, do you? Once we go into Sid's house, we won't be coming out. Whoa, Scud! Hey, boy! Sit! Good boy. -Hey, I got something for you, boy. -Freeze! Ready, set, now! Hannah! Hey, Hannah! -What? -Did I get my package in the mail? -I don't know. -What do you mean you don't know? I don't know! -Oh, no, Hannah! Look, Janie! -What? Hey! -She's sick! -No, she's not! I'll have to perform one of my operations. -No! -No, not Sid's room. Not there. Hey, give her back! Sid! Sid! Oh, no, we have a sick patient here, nurse. Prepare the OR, stat! Patient is... prepped. No one's ever attempted a double bypass brain transplant before. Now for the tricky part. Pliers! I don't believe that man's ever been to medical school. Doctor, you've done it! Hannah! Janie's all better now. -Mom! Mom! -She's lying! Whatever she says, it's not true! We are gonna die. I'm outta here! Locked. There's gotta be another way outta here. Buzz? Was that you? Hey, hi there, little fella. Come out here. Do you know a way outta here? Buzz! They're cannibals. Mayday, mayday. Come in, Star Command. Send reinforcements. Star Command, do you copy? I've set my laser from stun to kill. Great. Great. Yeah, and if anyone attacks us, we can blink 'em to death. Hey, you guys, I think I found him! Buzz, is that you? Whiskers, will you get outta here! You're interfering with the search and rescue! Look, they're home. Mom, have you seen Woody? Where was the last place you left him? Right here in the van. Oh, I'm sure he's there. You're just not looking hard enough. He's not here, Mom. Woody's gone. Woody's gone? Yeah, boy, the weasel ran away. Huh? Huh? I told you he was guilty. Who would've thought he was capable of such atrocities? Oh, Slink, I hope he's okay. Oh, a survivor. Where's the rebel base? Talk! I can see your will is strong. Well, we have ways of making you talk. Where are your rebel friends now? Sid, your Pop Tarts are ready! All right! Are you all right? I'm proud of you, Sheriff. A lesser man would've talked under such torture. I sure hope this isn't permanent. Still no word from Star Command. We're not that far from the space port. The door. It's open! We're free! Woody, we don't know what's out there! I'll tell you wha... They're gonna eat us, Buzz! Do something quick! Shield your eyes. It's not working. I recharged it before I left. It should be good for... You idiot! You're a toy! Use your karate chop action! -Get away! -Hey! Hey! How're you doin' that? -Stop that. -Back! Back, you savages! Back! -Woody, stop it! -Sorry, guys, but dinner's cancelled! There's no place like home! There's no place like home! There's no place like home. Another stunt like that, cowboy, you're gonna get us killed. Don't tell me what to do. Yee-haw! Giddyap, pardner! We got to get this wagon train a-movin'! Split up! Calling Buzz Lightyear. Come in, Buzz Lightyear. -This is Star Command. -Star Command! -Buzz Lightyear, do you read me? -Buzz Lightyear responding. Read you loud and clear. Buzz Lightyear, planet Earth needs your help. -On the way! -Buzz Lightyear! The world's greatest superhero! Now the world's greatest toy! Buzz has it all! Locking wrist communicator! -Calling Buzz Lightyear! -Karate chop action! -Wow! -Pulsating laser light! -Total annihilation! -Multi-phrase voice simulator! There's a secret mission in uncharted space. There's a secret mission in uncharted space. And best of all, high pressure space wings! -To infinity and beyond! -Not a flying toy. Get your Buzz Lightyear action figure -and save a galaxy near you! -Buzz Lightyear! Available at all Al's Toy Barn outlets in the tri-county area. And welcome back to the Point Richmond Bowling Championship. Out among the stars I sail Way beyond the moon In my silver ship I sailed To a dream that ended too soon Now I know exactly Who I am and what I'm here for You are a toy! You can't fly! And I will go sailing No more But no, it can't be true I could fly if I wanted to Like a bird in the sky If I believed I could fly Why, I'd fly To infinity and beyond! Clearly, I Will go sailing No more Mom! Mom, have you seen my Sally doll? What, dear? What was that? Never mind! Buzz, the coast is clear. Buzz, where are you? There's a secret mission in uncharted space. Let's go. Really? That is so interesting. Would you like some tea, Mrs Nesbitt? Buzz! - [Piano] - Notthat. [Stops] Buddy? I have always stood by you. I campaigned foryou when I was pregnant. During Checkers, when Ike wanted you out, I told you to fight. This is different, Dick. You've changed. You've grown more bitter, like you're atwarwith the world. You weren'tthatway before. I'm 50 years old now, Dick. Howmany millions of miles have I traveled? Howmany millions of peoples' hands have I shaked that ljust don't like? Howmany thank-you notes have I written? It's as if I, I don't know, justwentto sleep a long time ago... and missed the years between. I've had enough. Whatare you saying? Whatare you talking about? I wanta divorce. My God. Divorce? Whataboutthe girls? The girls'll grow up. They only knowyou from television anyway. It'll ruin us, ourfamily. You're ruining us. Lfwe staywith you, you'll take us down with you. This isn't political, Dick. This is our life. Everything's political, I'm political; you're political. No, I'm not. I'm finished. Well, this is just whattheywant, Buddy. Don'tyou see? Theywantto drive us apart, to beat us. We can't letthem do it. We've been through too much together, Buddy. We belong together. That's whatyou said the firsttime we met. You didn'teven knowme. Oh, yes, I did. I asked you to marry me, didn't I? On ourfirst date. I said it because I knew... I knew you were the one. So solid. So strong. - So beautiful. - I'm Pat Ryan. Uh, - Richard Nixon. - Pleasure to meetyou. - Pleasure to meetyou. - [Bell Clanging] - [Pat] Are you happy I called? - [Nixon] In a way, yes. Don'ttell me you've been cutting my part. Of course, honey, you know I would never deceive you. Don'tyou? [Fireworks Whistling, Bursting] You were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I don'twantto lose you. Ever. Dick, don't. You reallywantme to quit? We can be happy. We really can. The girls and I love you, Dick. And if I stop... there'll be... no more talk of divorce? I'll do it. No more. Are you serious? Yeah. I'm out. Is thatthe truth? I'll never run again. I promise. Yeah. I love you, Buddy. [Sniffles] I love you. [Whispers] I love you. Where are they? Dick, you don't have to make a statement. Herb covered 'em foryou. No! [Herb] Gentlemen, Mr. Nixon is a man who is graceful in defeat, and if he was here with us... [Reporters Shouting] Can I have some quiet, please? [Shouting Continues] Give the- just a second. I Can I have some quiet, please? Quiet! - Thank you. I - [Reporters Quiet] - [Reporter] Mr. Nixon. I - Uh-[Clears Throat] - I believe Governor Brown has a heart, - [Shutters Clicking] Even though he believes I do not. Uh, I believe he's a good American, even though he feels I am not. I'm proud ofthe fact that I defended my opponent's patriotism. Uh, you gentlemen didn't report it, but I'm proud that I did that. And I would appreciate it, for once, if you would just printwhat I say. [Nervous Chuckle] Uh, for 16 years, uh, ever since the Hiss case, you've had a lotoffun. A lotoffun. But recognize you have a responsibility, if you're againstthe candidate, to give him the shaft. But ifyou do that, at least put one lonely reporteron the campaign... who will report whatthe candidate says now and then. Uh, I think, all in all, I've given as good as I've taken. Butas I leave you, I w... I wantyou to know... Justthink whatyou're gonna be missing. Uh, you won't have Nixon to kick around anymore. [Echoing] Kick around anymore. [Reporters Murmuring] Uh... [Chuckles] Uh... [Clears Throat] Because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference. - Thank you and good day. - Mr. Nixon. I - Is this the end of politics foryou? - [Reporters Shouting] [Shouting Continues] [March] [Announcer] Here in California... we can officially write the political obituary of Richard Milhouse Nixon. Asmall town lawyer like Lincoln, Nixon became a representative at 33... and a senatorat 35... as partofthe postwar Republican sweep ofthe congressional elections... that attacked F.D.R.'s big-government new deal. Running as a South Pacific veteran, victories overCongressmanJerry Voorhis and Senator Helen Gahagan Douglas... made it clearthat, to Nixon, politics was war. He didn't have opponents, he had enemies. Why, she's pink, right down to her underwear. I Nixon became one of the leading lights... on the notorious House Un-American Activities Committee, questioning labor leaders, Spanish Civil Warveterans, Hollywood celebrities. If I had myway, they'd all be sent back to Russia. But itwas the Alger Hiss case that made Nixon a household name. One ofthe architects ofthe United Nations, intimate of F.D.R. And Oliver Wendell Holmes, Alger Hiss was a State Department diplomat... accused by freelance journalist WhittakerChambers... ofpassing secret documents to the Soviet Union. - Hiss is lying. - Hiss claimed he was being set up... by Nixon andJ. Edgar Hooverto discredit the new deal's policies. I am not, and never have been, a member ofthe Communist party. The case came down to an Underwood typewriter... and a roll offilm hidden in a pumpkin patch. - [Men Murmuring] - I asked Hiss if he'd known Chambers. When he said "no," I knew he was lying; I knew I had him. Aftertwo trials, Hiss was convicted not ofspying but ofperjury. To some, Nixon was a hero and a patriot. But to many, he was a shameless self-promoter. Eleanor Roosevelt angrily condemned him. Nixon continued to tear into Truman, Acheson and the Democratic party... for losing mainland China in 1949... and blamed the Korean War on a weak foreign policy. I promise to expose and to continue to expose... the people that have sold this country down the river! His speeches, ifmore subtle than those ofhis Republican allyJoe McCarthy, were just as aggressive. The direct result of Truman's decision is that China has gone Communist. I Mao is a monster! Why? Who in the State Department is watching overAmerican interests? Who has given the Russians the atomic bomb? The Soviet Union is an example ofa slave state in the ultimate development. Driven by demons thatseemed more personal than political, Nixon became Eisenhower's vice presidential candidate in 1952. Then came the Checkers crisis: Nixon was accused ofhiding a secretslush fund. About to be kicked offthe ticket, he went live on national television... in an unprecedented appearance. I'm going to give to this television audience a complete financial history. - Everything I've earned, spent, - The list included their house, - theirOldsmobile, Pat's cloth coat. - Everything I own. And lastly, in whatwas to become history, a sentimental gift from a Texas businessman. You knowwhat itwas? Itwas a little cocker spaniel dog... in a crate that he'd sentall the way from Texas... black and white, spotted. And our little girl Tricia, the six-year-old, named it Checkers. - 58 million people saw it. - And like all kids, they love the dog. - Itwas shameless, : Itwas manipulative, : - Ljustwanna say right now, regardless ofwhatthey say about him, we're gonna keep him. Itwas a huge success. - [Crowd Cheering] - He stayed on the national scene, serving two terms as vice president under Eisenhower. Against Khrushchev at the Kitchen Debate in Moscow... and stoned by Latin mobs in Venezuela, Nixon once again became a national hero. But it all came to a crashing end against Kennedy in 1960... and Pat Brown in California in '62. And thus ends a great American political story. The truth is, we never knewwho Richard Nixon really was, and nowthat he is gone we neverwill. [March Slowing, Ends] [CocktailJazz] [People Talking] - [Woman] Poor little Tricia. - Herdaddy couldn't get a job... in this city when he gotoutof Duke. Everywhite-shoe lawyerfirm turned me down. Didn't have the right look. - I couldn'teven get into the F.B.I. - [Man] Hi. I How are ya? Did you catch that picture ofyou in the news lastweek, Dick? - You were standin' on Fifth Avenue. - Oh, yeah. You were lookin' straightahead... and everyone else was lookin'the other way, like you justfarted or somethin'. [Laughing] Itsaid-Itsaid, "Who remembers Dick Nixon?" Unbelievable. I was screamin'. Yeah, thatwas hilarious, Martha. Theywere were waiting forthe lightto change. Typical ofthe press, theywouldn'tcorrect it... We oughta catch Rocky before he leaves. [Man] I'm sure it's just a run ofbad luck, Mr. Nixon. - He can walk this direction, can't he? - [Laughs] I don't know. - I've read some nice things aboutyou. - Maybe where you come from. Butwhere I come from, Dick Nixon is as misunderstood as a fox in a henhouse. And do you knowwhy? Because, my darlin', they all think thatyour smile and yourface... are never in the same place atthe same time. You and me, we're gonna have to work on that, sweetie. Someone freshen Martha's drink. She's down a quart. Well, zip-a-dee-doo-dah! - I think he is frightened by my charm. - I know I am. - Patcan'tstand her. - It's a thing she does. She talks at night. Talks all day too. Howthe hell can you put up with her, John? Well, I'm in love with her. And she's great in bed. Lfa Rockefellercan't become president ofthe United States, then what is the pointof democracy? The point ofdemocracy is... that even the son ofa grocer can become president. And you came damn close, Dick. How are you? Hi, John. New York treating you all right? I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you. - You're looking "happy," Rocky. - "Happy." Happy, Dick Nixon. - You remember him. - Nice to see you again. - You're obviously making him happy. - Ohh! Repartee, Dick! Marvelous! - [Chattering, Laughing Continue] - Whatyou predicting? Your boy Goldwater gonna split the party? - Some say you are, Rocky. - Letme tellyou something. Every time the Republican party is a home to extremism, we lose the election. - You oughta know betterthan anybody. - Yeah. This guy Goldwater is as stupid as McCarthy. And McCarthy never did you any good in the long run, now, did he? That's right. [Nixon] I hate these cocktail parties. John, I'm in hell. I'll be mentally dead in two years and physically dead in four. Make some money, Dick. Prove yourself to the Wall Streetcrowd. Let Goldwater and Rockefeller take the fall against Kennedy. I don't know. I miss making love to the people. I miss entering a room. I miss the... pure acting of it, John. I gotta get back in the arena. [Fanfare] Ladies and gentlemen, it's showtime! - Rightthis way, ladies and gentlemen. - [Audience Applauding] It's foryou, it's forme. It's Studebakerfor 1963. Amen. Bless you for being here. - There's a man that loves Studebakers. - Can I getyour autograph? - The ex-vice president... - Mr. Nixon, please run again! Ofthe United States, Richard M. Nixon! - [Audience Applauding, Cheering] - [Laughs] You throw a hell of a party, Jack. The party ain'teven started yet. I've asked these gals outto the ranch for a little private thing. We're gonna have some fun, I guarantee ya. And there's some fellas I'd really like you to meet. Trini and I gotan early plane. We're hoping to be back in New York for... These guys are real interesting. And quiettoo. The girls are too. It's notoften us Texans getan opportunity... to entertain the future president ofthe United States. Like you said, Jack, I'm justa New York lawyer. - We'll see about that. - Mr. Nixon, are you gonna run again? - I don't know aboutthat. - He will! I guarantee it! - [CocktailJazz] - [Chattering, Laughing] Whoo-hoo! [Giggling] [Woman] Buy me a convertible? [Man] I'll buy you a diamond ring. - Hello, baby. - Hey, wait, wait, wait. This isJulie there. - And that's Tricia. - Oh, yeah. - She reminds me a bitof you, Sandy. - She really is wholesome. But, um, whataboutyou? What do you like? - Well, I like music. - I like jazz. Jazz, yeah. Guy Lombardo. - How about rock'n' roll? Elvis Presley? - Yeah, he's good. Yeah. Decent guy. Well, I guess forme italso, um, depends on... what I'm doin' to the music, Dick. [Mutters] Yeah. So, uh, what's it like bein' so famous and all? Avice president! Well, it's, uh, not like that, Sandy. You see, the reason I got into politics in the first place was, well, uh, to do something forthe people. So, how are you two doing? You know, Dick, there's more privacy in the back ofthe... No, Trini, we're fine here. Okay. Hell, Kennedy just pissed Cuba away to the Russians. Just pissed it away. I And he doesn't knowwhat the hell he's doin'in Vietnam. These are dangerous times, Dick, especially for business. - Agreed. - We knowwhatyou tried to do for Cuba. Lfyou had been elected in '60, Castro would be dead now. Gentlemen, I tried. I told Kennedy to go into Cuba. He heard me and he made his decision. I appreciate yoursentiments. I've heard them from many fine Cuban patriots. But it's nothing I can do anything about. It's a long drive to Dallas, and Trini and I have a plane to catch tomorrow. - So... - Dick, these boys wantyou to run. - Absolutely. - [Man] That's right. Now, they're serious. They can deliver the South and putTexas in your column. Only if Kennedy dumpsJohnson. That'll never happen. I don'tthink you know howmuch people hate Kennedy down here. He's comin'to town tomorrow, and they will run his ass outta town on a rail! - Damn right. - [Man] Thatwe will. We are willing to give you a shit pot full ofmoney to get rid ofhim. More than you ever dreamed of. [Chuckles] Nobody's gonna beat Kennedy in '64 with all the money in the world. Suppose Kennedy don't run in '64. [Chuckles] Not a chance. Yeah. Well, gentlemen, I promised mywife I, uh... I'm outof politics. You justcame down here forthe weather. Is that right, Mr. Nixon? I came down here to close a deal for Studebaker. Whatabout'68, Dick? Five years, Trini. In politics, that's an eternity. Dick. Your country needs you. Unfortunately the country's notavailable right now. [Billiard Balls Colliding] [People Chattering] [Man] President Kennedy's due in from Fort Worth in aboutan hour. - [Trini] Kennedy is due in. - [Nixon] Yeah, I know. - [Children Laughing Excitedly] - [Girl] Come on! - Let's go through here. Excuse us. - Excuse me. Coming through. - Excuse us. - Thank you. - Please step away from the gate there. - [Nixon] Sorry. Go find the pilot. Let's getoutof here. Look, Edgar, these, uh- these guys were really strange. I mean, you know, extremists. - [Hoover on Phone] "Strange"? - Right-wing stuff. - Birchers? - [Nixon] Birchers, yeah. - This thing's pretty straight, Dick. - [TV] In Dallas, Lee Harvey Oswald- oswald's got a Cuba connection? - [Nixon] To Castro? ...maximum security facility. - He's a Communist. That makes sense. - [Continues, Faint] Okay, well, thank you, Edgar. SenatorTed Kennedy, arriving early this morning... with his mother and sister, Eunice. Hoover says this oswald checks outas a... a beatnik, a real bum. Dick, you should call Bobby. Ah, he doesn'twantme atthe funeral. - You don't have to go. - DeGaulle's gonna be there. McMillan. Adenauer. [TVContinues] We go nowto the rotunda- Nixon can't not be there. Then call him. I'm sure itwas an oversight. - [TV] Thousands, ofmourners... - [Mutters] Yeah. - Will pay their respects... - Jesus. To theirfallen leader. It's awful. It's an awful thing forthis country. [Pat] Dick. Huh? No, it's his way, uh... He hates me. He and Teddy. They always hated me. They losttheir brother. You knowwhatthatmeans, Dick. ... relaxed with his family in Hyannis Port. These are perhaps the last images of him alive with his family. Please make itstop! - [Arthur Screaming, Whining] - Hold him tighter. - Hold him tighter. - [Screaming] Hold him tighter. Daddy, please. I Make itstop. I - Hold him tighter. - [Screaming Continues] The infection's spread to his spine. [Boy] Come on. I [Yelling, Shouting] [Dog Barking] [Thunder Rumbling] Stop it! - [Donald Laughing] - Getoff! - You're it! - [Yelling, Laughing] - [Dog Whining] - [Footsteps] No. No, don't! [Weeping Quietly] If I'd been president, they neverwould've killed me. Vice PresidentJohnson, shown here being sworn in- - Dick, are you gonna call? Bobby. - Hmm? ... has taken the reins ofpower in a smooth transition. I'll go throughJohnson. We'll be invited. [Johnson] This is a sad time forall people. I ask foryour help. [Johnson]... and are going to see Vietnam through... to an honorable peace... to defend an honored cause, whateverthe price, whateverthe burden, whateverthe sacrifice... that duty may require. Accordingly, I shall notseek... and I will not accept... the nomination of my party for anotherterm as your president. Good night, and God bless all ofyou. [Newscaster]Johnson's withdrawal resurrects Richard Nixon... as a strong Republican candidate with a secret plan to end the war. His mother, Hannah Nixon, just before herdeath lastyear, commented on herson's chances. Mrs. Nixon, do you think your son will ever return to politics? L-I don'tthink he has a choice. He has always been a leader. Do you think he'd make a great president, Mrs. Nixon? If he's on God's side, yes. You must be very proud ofyourson. I have always been proud of all of my children. [Hannah Nixon] Ofcourse, no one can see into the future. We didn't know this day would come. - [Man #1] Where'd he go? - [Man #2] In the side door. - Is that Mitchell? - Shit. I - [Buzzing] - [People Chattering] [Haldeman] I thought that guy was gonna kiss your hand. - Congratulations, sir. - Yeah, thanks. Jesus, Dick! I've never seen anything like it. Even the goddamn Times is saying you've got it. Vietnam's gonna put you in there, Chief. - We gotthe press this time. - We gotthe "big mo." We're back. - [Conversation Stops] - So you've decided. Were you planning to tell me? We haven'tannounced anything yet, but... Jesus, uh... [Coughs] Pat. Uh, wait in the living room, willyou, fellas? What is it, John? You need her, Dick. In '60, she was worth five, six million votes. Yeah. Don'tworry. I'll use the old Nixon charm. [Whispers] In there. Okay? Who could resistthat? [Sniffs] Buddy? You should be going. Primaries are soon, aren'tthey? - New Hampshire. - I love you, Buddy. I need you. I don'twantthem to love me. But I need you outthere. Itwon't be like the last time. The war's crippled the Democrats. I can win. We deserve it. It's ours, Buddy, at last. Nobody knows that betterthan you. Frank Nixon's boy. Do you remember what Mom said? "We're not like other people. We... We don'tchoose ourway." We can really change things, Buddy. We got a chance to get it right. We can change America. Itwas our dream, Buddy, together, always. - Do you really wantthis, Dick? - Yeah. This, above all. - And then you'll be happy? - Yeah, you know I will. Yes! I will. Yeah. Then I'll be there foryou. And we are gonna win this time. I can feel it. Yeah! [Laughing] You're the strongestwoman I evermet, Buddy. - Can ljustask for one thing? - Anything. - Would you kiss me? - Yeah! [Pat Giggling] [Both Laughing] I'm a new person. Hey! My thanks to all of you. And now it's on to Chicago, and let's win there. - Thank you very much. - [Crowd Cheering] I would never question, uh, Senator Kennedy's patriotism. - But promising peace at any price... - Rightthere. Is, uh, exactlywhat the North Vietnamese wantto hear. - [Scattered Applause] - [TVDirector] Cue the crowd. [Haldeman Stuttering] Go to this bald guy. Yeah, he's great, isn't he? [Nixon On TV] I, unlike Senator Kennedy, have a plan to end the war immediately. But not for peace at any price, - but peace with honor. - [TVAudience Applauds] What do you think this plan is, Edgar? A nuclear attack? He's lying, Clyde. Always has. That's why Nixon's always been useful. - Gracias, amigo. - [Waiter] De nada, senor. - Hold still. - [ShutterClicks] - Okay, who's next? - The Negro. No, we gotta have a Negro. This guy right here. Negro, front row. - Mr. Nixon, sir. - Yeah. We-We all knowthatyou have builtyour career... on smearing people as Communists. And nowyou are building your campaign on the divisions in this country, stirring up hatred and turning people against each other. Whatthe fuck's he doing? He's making a speech! - Cut him off. - I can't. This isn't Russia. He sounds like a negro. He's saying all these negro things! - What's he doing? - He sounded white when we screened him. He doesn'tsound white now. He sounds like Angela Davis. When are you going to tell us whatyou really stand for? - Puton a commercial. - There are no commercials. - Go to commercial! - You boughtthe whole half hour, baby. - Are you going to take offthat mask... - Shit! And show us who you really are? - [Man] Shut up and sit down. I - okay. Okay. - It's a high hard one, Chief. - Okay, okay. - Park it. - There are divisions in this country... - That's because you created them. - I did not create them. The Democrats did. If it's dialogue you want, you're more likely to get itfrom me than from people burning down cities. - Dr. King said the same thing. - Oh, please. Do you know, young man, who a great hero is? Abraham Lincoln. - Abraham Lincoln. - Lincoln. Is he beautiful, huh? He believed in common ground. He broughtthis country together. - [Applause] - I love thatman. I love him. I wantthe son of a bitch who gotthatagitatorto be fired! - I have another question. - There's a little girl sitting here. - A little girl sitting with a sign. - [Ziegler] Bag the spook. - Can you see the little girl? - Okay. [Nixon] There are three simple words: "Bring us together." That is what I want, and that is what the greatmajority of Americans want. And that is why I wantto be president. - To bring us together. - [Applause] - Give me a break, Mary. - Now, you all know me. I'm one ofyou. I grew up here, a stone's throwfrom here, on a little lemon ranch in Yorba Linda. Itwas the poorest lemon ranch in California, I can tellyou that. The poorest lemon ranch in California, I can assure you ofthat. My dad sold it before they found oil on it. My dad sold it before they found oil on it. - But itwas all we had. - But itwas all we had. - My dad built the farm. - Huh. You're new here. - What's your name? - Joaquin, Mr. Hoover. Oh. My fathersacrificed everything he had... so that his sons could go to college. - Agentle Quaker motherquietly wept... - oh, Christ. - When he went to war. - Turn this crap off, Clyde. It's giving me a headache. You may go, Joaquin. I wantto see him, Clyde. Edgar, he works in the kitchen. Notthe boy, you idiot. Nixon. - [Sound off] - You hearwhat he said in Oregon... aboutme having too much power? It's between Nixon and a Kennedy again. Who do you want? Kennedy? [Laughs] Never. He'll fry in hell forwhat he did to me. But Nixon don't knowthat. Which is why I'm gonna have to remind him that he needs us... a hell ofa lot more than we need him. - [Trumpet: Fanfare] - [Growls] - [Bell Rings] - [Announcer] And they're off! . - [AnnouncerContinues, Faint] - [Cheering] [Announcer, Cheering Continue] Your boy's on the way up. You know, I met this guy years ago in Havana. You knowthat. Come on! He's folding, Johnny. Now, now, now. You justwaita second now. [Announcer] Olly's boy on the inside. I [Whinnying] [Crowd Yelling] [Announcer] And a tragedy. I A bitextreme, isn't it? It's the drama. Look, the crowd loves this shit. [Women Shouting] [Johnny] Hey, there's Randolph Scott overthere. Look at that. Cash these forme, would you, Johnny? - [Whinnying] - Easy! Easy, easy! It's a two-dollar bet, Edgar. You got thousands coming on this. - I mean, whatthe fuck? - I told you, justcash it, Johnny. And don'tswear around me. Come on. Uh-huh. Hello. Edgar. [Coughs] - Wonderful to see you. Clyde. - Mr. Nixon. - Hi. [Laughs] - Thank you for coming, Richard. Okay. Oh. Winning? Actually, I've just had a bitof luck. Are you gonna win? You should ask Bobby. - Little Bobby. - Yeah, Bobby Kennedy. [Laughing] Yeah. Walk with me down to the paddock. I'd like to look atthe horses. Uh, can we talk here? I gotthe police chiefs in San Diego. Actually, I'm trying to spare you an embarrassment. ThatwasJohnny Roselli you just passed. He's on his way back. Roselli? Johnny Roselli? Yes. You know him, Richard? No? From Cuba? [Mambo] [People Speaking Spanish] Hey, Johnny Roselli. How're you doin'? - Dick. - How are you? I nevermetthe man. Uh... Well, I knowyou've, uh, been very careful notto. That's why I'm so concerned. - [Chuckling] - Okay. - [Bell Rings] - [Announcer] And they're off! . [Hoover] You'll win the nomination. Yeah, itcould be 1960 all over again, Edgar. [Woman] Love you, Dick. I And Bobby's gotthe magic like a goddamn rock star. They climb all over each other justto touch his clothes. He'll ride his brother's corpse right into the White House. Hmm. Lfthings remain as they are. He's got the anti-warvote. Or he'll steal it, like his brother. Bobby's a mean little son of a bitch, Edgar. He had the I.R.S. Auditmy mother when she was dying in the nursing home. - I know. - We should shootthe son of a bitch. - [Horse Whinnies] - [Nervous Chuckle] I wanna fight justas dirty, Edgar. His women. Use his women. Any information you have. The son ofa bitch is not going to steal from me again. Can you back me up on this? Can I count on your support? I look at itfrom the pointof viewthat the system can only take so much abuse. - Itadjusts itself eventually. - Yeah. Butthere are times there are savage outbursts. The late Dr. King, forexample. - Amoral hypocrite. - [Snorting] Screwing women like a degenerate tomcat, stirring up the blacks, preaching against oursystem. Sometimes the system comes very close to cracking. We've already had one radical in the White House. I don't believe itwould survive another. [Whinnying] Well, like I said, uh, Edgar... You ask... if you can count on my support. As long as I can count on yours. [Nixon] Yeah, the old queen did it on purpose. No, he wasn't protecting me. He was just putting me on notice. - [Haldeman] That he knew Roselli? - No. Hoover knew a lotof gangsters. Johnny Roselli wasn't justany gangster. Johnny Roselli was one ofthe gangsters... who set up Track 2 in Cuba. No, I know his name. Itwas Bob Engel. Oh, well, I know all aboutthat. I don't understand that. Track 2 is Chile. [Nixon] Yeah, Chile, the Congo, Guadalajara, Iran, Cuba. Whereverthere was need for an executive action capability, there's Track 2. In Cuba, Track 1 was, uh, the Bay of Pigs invasion. [Chuckles] Track 2 was our idea. We thoughtthat the invasion wouldn'twork... unless we got rid ofCastro. So we asked ourselves, uh, who else wants Castro dead? Was itthe Mafia ormoney people? So we puttogether Track 2. [Gunfire] Firstassassination attempt was, uh, in '60. - Uh, just before the election. - Before? - Eisenhower approved that? - Yeah. Well, he didn'tveto it. I ran the White House side... and, uh, the mob contact wasJohnny Roselli. One ofthe C.I.A. Guys was this jackass... Howard Hunt. Jesus. Yeah. Not just Howard Hunt, but Frank Sturgis... and all those other Cubans. All ofthem in Watergate... Uh, they're all involved in Cuba. Yeah, Hunt reported to my military aide. I don't know how much Hunt knows, or, orthe Cubans, but... you never know. So you wanted Castro dead. Everybodywanted Castro dead. You know, if Hunt and the others are C.I.A., why don'twe just dump this back in the C.I.A.'s lap, let Dick Helms take the fall? - Because. - [Drink Pouring] Because Helms knows, knows too much. Lfthere's anyone in this country who knows more than me, it's Hoover and Helms, and you don'tfuck with Dick Helms, period. All right. Butwhy, if Kennedy was so clean in all this, - didn't he cancel Track 2? - Because he didn'teven know about it. The C.I.A., uh, nevertold him. They just kept it going. It had a life of its own like itwas some, uh, kind of a thing, you know? It doesn'teven know itexists. Iteats people when it doesn't need 'em anymore. [Nixon On Tape] Two days afterthe Bay of Pigs, - Kennedy called me and reamed me out. - ["Fever"] He justfound out aboutTrack 2. - You nevertold him? - I didn'twant him to getthe credit. He said I'd stabbed him in the back... and called me a two-bit grocery clerk from Whittier. Fever if I kissed you fever if I held you tight - Huh. - Fever in the morning - Feverall through the night - That's the lasttime I ever saw him. Play it on the runway in Paris See, when I saw Bobby lying there on the floor, [People Yelling] Arms stretched out like that, his eyes staring, [Woman Crying] I knewthen I'd be president. His death paved the way, didn't it? [Chuckles] Yeah. Vietnam, the Kennedys... cleared a path through the wilderness justforme. Overthe bodies. [Sighs] Four bodies. You mean two. Two bodies. - [Rain Falling] - Four. [Thunder Rumbling] Howmany did you have? Hundreds ofthousands? Where would we be without death, huh? Abe? Who's helping us? Is it God, or is it... death? [Coughing, Spitting] [Retching] [Coughing Continues] [Screen DoorSqueaks, Closes] [Harold Grunts] [Coughing] [Wheezing] Harold. - [Wheezing Continues] - Why don'tyou sit down, huh? Here. [Labored Breathing] Thatwas a whopper. [Coughs] You'll be able to do it now. - What? - Go to law school. - Mom and Dad'll be able to afford it. - Harold. Mama expects greatthings from you. Can I... Can I getyou anything? Relax, Dick. It's justme, huh? The desert's so beautiful, isn't it? [Labored Breathing] I wantto go home, Dick. Time to go home. You... You're not gonna quiton me now, are you, Harold? [Labored Breathing Continues] Down came the rain and washed the spiderout [Continues] Richard. I can't. You must. This law school, it's a gift from thy brother. He had to die forme to get it? Something has to come ofthis. It's meant to make us stronger. Thee artstrongerthan Harold, strongerthan Arthur. God has chosen thee to survive. Whatabout happiness, Mother? Thee will find thy peace atthe center, Richard. Strength in this life, happiness in the next. [Microphone Feedback] [Flashbulbs Popping] [Band: "Battle Hymn ofthe Republic"] [Continues] [Laughing] Hey! Hey! Nowtell me you didn't wantthis, Buddy. [Laughing] - Hey! - [Laughs] When the strongest nation in the world can be tied down... forfouryears in a war in Vietnam... with no end in sight; when the richest nation in the world can'tmanage its own economy; when the nation with the greatest tradition ofthe rule of law... is plagued by unprecedented lawlessness; when a nation that has been known for a century for equality of opportunity... is torn by unprecedented racial violence, : When the presidentofthe United States cannottravel abroad... orto any major city at home... withoutfear of a hostile demonstration, then it is time for new leadership forthe United States ofAmerica. [Cheering] As we look at America, we see cities enveloped in smoke and flame, : Millions ofamericans crying out in anguish, "Did we come all the way forthis? Did American boys die in Normandy and Valley Forge forthis?" I pledge to you thatthe currentwave of violence... will not be the wave ofthe future. [Cheering] - Let us begin by committing ourselves... - [Flashbulbs Popping] To the truth... to find the truth, to speak the truth... and to live the truth. A newvoice is being heard across America today. It is not the voice ofthe protesters orthe shouters. It is the quietvoice ofthe majority ofamericans who've been forgotten- the non-shouters, the, uh, non-demonstrators. They're the good people. Theywork hard and they save and they pay theirtaxes. Now, who are they? Letme tellyou who they are. They're in this audience by the thousands. They're the white Americans and black Americans, - Mexican and Italian Americans. - [Woman Screaming] They're the great silent majority, and they have become angry, finally. Angry, notwith hate, butangry, my friends, because they love America... and they don't like what's happened to America these lastfouryears. - [Cheering] - Let us understand. North Vietnam cannot defeat or humiliate the United States. Only Americans can do that! [Cheering] I say to you tonight... [Clears Throat] I say to you tonightwe must have a newfeeling of responsibility, ofself-discipline. We must look to renew state and local government. We must have a complete reform ofa big, bloated federal government. - [Shouts] - Those ofus in public service know... we can have full prosperity in peacetime. Yes, we can cut the defense budget. We can reduce, uh, conventional forces in Europe. We can restore the natural environment. We can improve health care and make it more available to all people. And yes, we can have a complete reform ofthis government. We can have a new American revolution. I [Cheering] [Chanting] The whole world is watching! The whole world is watching. I [Man] It'd be a disaster. There's a lot ofsympathy out there forCambodia. Tiny, little, neutral Buddhist country. They'll be rioting in the streets, on yourfront lawn. I Building the Cambodian army up? My God, thatwould be harder than a Vietnamese Army. They have no tradition. Mr. President, the government there will collapse. - So you're saying, do nothing. - No, sir, continue the bombing. The same old horseshit. Well, that's not good enough. I'm sick of being pushed around by the, uh, Vietnamese... like we're some, uh, you know, pitiful giant. They're using our P.O.W. S to humiliate us. Whatwe need now is a bold move into Cambodia, and go rightaftertheir, uh,V.C. Base camps, and, uh, uh, make 'em scream, hit'em in the ass. - What do you think, Henry? - Well, as you know, mostof my staff have weighed in againstthis incursion. They believe itwill fail to achieve anything fundamental militarily... and will result in crushing criticism domestically. I didn'task whatyour staffthinks. What do you think, Henry? What I think is, they're cowards. Theiropposition represents the cowardice ofthe eastern establishment. They don't realize, as you do, sir, thatthe Communists only respectstrength, and theywill only negotiate in good faith... - ifthey fearthe madman, Nixon. - Exactly! Unpredictability is our best asset. We gotta take the warto 'em, hit'em where it hurts, right in the nuts. More assassinations. Right, AI? That's whatthey're doing, Mr. President. See, your people in the State Department, Bill, they don't understand. - You gotta- - Mr. President. You gotta electrify people with bold moves. I mean, bold moves make history. Like, uh, Teddy Roosevelt, T.R., rushing up SanJuan Hill. Small event, but dramatic. People took notice. Yes, well, they'll take notice, all right. Lfwe sneak outofthis war, anotherwill start a mile down the road. We bite the bullet here in Cambodia. There. We bomb the hell outofthese people. [Bombs Whistling] [Nixon] Tonight American and South Vietnamese units... will attack the headquarters ofthe entire Communist military operation... in South Vietnam. This is not an invasion ofCambodia. We take this action not forthe purpose ofexpanding the war into Cambodia, but forthe purpose ofending the war in Vietnam. [Explosions] - [People Screaming] - [Newscaster] All across the nation, majorstudent protests against the U.S. Invasion ofCambodia... - rocked college campuses. - [Screaming] AtJackson State, two Negro students were killed and ten were wounded. - Unanimously united behind... - In the streets of New York City, student protesters were attacked by construction workers... supporting President Nixon's policies. In Washington, protesters have barricaded the White House... and are camping out at the Lincoln Memorial. [Applause] [People Chanting] We don'twantyourfucking war! See, when I think ofthose kids out there in Vietnam, doing theirduty, uh, I bet they were scared. L-I was when I was there. Butwhen itcomes down to it, you really have to look up to these men... because they're the greatest. [Applause] [People Chanting] No more war. I No more war. I I mean, you see these bums, you know, blowing up the campuses, burning books and so forth. And they call themselves, uh, flower children. I call them spoiled rotten. And I tell you what would cure them. Agood, old-fashioned trip to my ohio father's woodshed. - Right, Julie? - Right, Dad. That's what these bums need. Well, Kurt, thanks and congratulations. - Thank you, sir. - Yeah. Okay. Thanks, everybody. Bye. [Rifles Cocking] [Gas Bombs Hissing] [Gunfire] [People Screaming] [Screaming Continues, Sirens Wailing] [Newscaster] Less than 24 hours after president Nixon called them bums, fourstudents were shot dead at Kent State University in Ohio. Enraged student groups across the country... are calling fora general strike tomorrowto shut down- I tellyou, the soldiers were provoked. Now, stop this pussyfooting around. I mean, dead kids. Howthe hell did we give the Democrats a weapon like this? Well, one way orthe other, KentState is not good. We have to getout in frontofthis thing. - Followthe money. Followthe money. - [Haldeman] Sir? These kids are being manipulated by the Communists, like Chambers and Hiss. - What's the matterwith you? - This isn't'48.They'll never buy it. How do you knowthat, John? What's Hooverfound, for God's sake? Well, he called the other day, sir. He asked for President Harding. [Laughing] - We can have a national prayer day. - Never complain, never explain. Come on, these are not fraternity pranks, John. No, this is anarchy. It's a revolution. - I wouldn't go thatfar, sir. - Why not? Is itworth it, sir? I mean... Is the warworth a one-term presidency? Because that's whatwe're looking at. I will not go down as the first American presidentto lose a war. Going to Cambodia, bombing Hanoi, bombing Laos, buys us time so we can get out and give the South Vietnamese a fighting chance. - Exactly, sir. - Lfwe keep our heads, we'll win. - What, win Vietnam, sir? - No, no. No, butwe can drive a stake through the heartofthe Communist alliance. Henry's getting strong signals from the Chinese. They fearthe Vietnamese more than the Russians... and they're worried abouta united Vietnam. Now, ifwe stick itout, we'll end up negotiating separately... with both the Chinese and the Soviets. And we'll get better deals than we ever dreamed offrom both. That is triangular diplomacy, gentlemen. Exactly, Mr. President. That's what geopolitics is about. The linking ofthe whole world for self-interest. Ron, how I can explain that on TV to a bunch ofsimpleminded reporters... and, uh, weeping mothers. Yeah, butwhat am I telling the press about Kent State? Ah, tell 'em whatthe hellyou like. They don't understand anyway. Excuse me, sir. Are you saying you're going to recognize Red China? Thatwould cost us our strongestsupport. No, I can do this because I spentmywhole career... building anti-Communist credentials. If Kennedy orJohnson tried it, they'd have crucified them, and rightfully so. Damned risky, Mr. President. Why don'twe wait until the second term? - This will get us a second term, John. - This will getme a second term. Damn it, without risk, there's no heroism, there's no history. Nixon was born to do this. Give history a nudge. - Come on. I - Hear, hear. I mean, if Cambodia doesn'twork we'll bomb Hanoi ifwe have to. That's right. And if necessary, I'll drop the big one. We have to entertain the possibility. Goddamn it. I Who cooked this damn steak? Manolo, there's blood all over my plate. Take it away. I'm sorry, sir. Are you all right? Yeah. My brother, Harold, was the same age as those kids, John. - Tuberculosis got him. - Come on, itwasn'tyourfault. The soldiers were kids too. They just panicked. Yeah. Theywere throwing rocks, John, just rocks. [Quiet Chuckle] They don'tthink I feel, but... I feel too much sometimes. Ljustcan't letourwhole policy be dominated by our sentimentality. You're doing the rightthing. Don't let'em shake you. No. You know, it broke my heart when Harold died. - Thatwas a long time ago. - Yeah. I think that's when itstarts... when you're a kid. The laughs and snubs and slights you get... because you're poor or Irish orJewish... or... just ugly. Getoffthat. That leads nowhere. Butyou should offer condolences to the families ofthose kids. Sure. I'd like to. I'd like to offermy condolences. But Nixon can't. [Man] Enraged student groups across the country... are calling for a general strike tomorrow... to shut down the entire university system until the Vietnam War is ended. [Nixon] Oh, this is nothing compared to Venezuela. When I was vice president, Ike sentme down there like a blocking tackle. They threw rocks. Broke out the windows. Almostoverturned the car. Read Six Crises, Bob. - I did, sir. - Boy, Patwas brave. [Indistinct Chanting] Jesus, they're serious. Why are we stopping? Come on. Move it. I [Jeering Continues] - Jesus! - Get that little punk. I Tackle him. Go on. Get him! Yeah. No. Reminds me of my days atWhittier. These kids are useless. Probably flunking. Nothing to do except come down here and chase girls. Parents'fault. It's a poison in the upper classes. They've had ittoo soft. Too many cars. Too many colored TVs. Don'tforgetthe South, West. Good football colleges. Straight kids. - More are with you than againstyou. - Let's notforget, sir. They're just kids. They don'tvote. [Haldeman] This is the fall ofthe Roman Empire, John. Are you blind? They're putting the fig leaves on the statues. - Mr. President. - Bob. I don't know whatto say, sir. As soon as we learned from the secretservice you were en route, the directorwas notified. - He should be here any minute. - Oh? Where the hell is he? Uh, well, he's rushing back from his tennis game, sir. So, let's go. He told me to take you to his conference room, sir. No, his office. I wanta very private conversation with him. - I don'twanna be bugged. - Then, his office will be fine, sir. Okay. Hi. How's the job going, Bob? Frankly, itstinks, sir. I have no access. We'll see to that. He's nervous, sir. He's heard you're looking for a new director. He certainly isn'tacting like it. That's Helms. He's the epitome of Sangfroid. Aworld-class poker player. Yeah? Well, I own the fucking casino. I'm honored, Dick, thatyou've come all the way out here to Virginia... to visit us at last. - My friends call me "Mr. President." - And so shall I. Mr. Helms. Arrange for some coffee, willyou, General Cushman? Gentlemen, please. Bob Cushman is a lieutenant general in the marine corps. Deputy director ofthe C.I.A. Is this whatyou use him for? I didn't choose him as my deputy, Mr. President. You did. You live prettywell out here. Now I understand why you want to keep your budgets classified. I suppose you're unhappy... because I haven't implemented your domestic intelligence plan. Yeah, you're correct. I'm concerned these students are being funded by foreign interests, whetherthey know it or not. The F.B.I. Is useless in this area. I wantyourfull attention on this matter. Ofcourse, we've tried, butso farwe've come up with nothing. Then, find something. And I want these leaks stopped. Jack Anderson, the New York Times, the State Department. I wanna knowwho's talking to them. I'm sure you realize, Mr. President, thatthis is a very tricky area, given our charter and the Congressional oversight Committee. Oh, screw Congressional oversight. I know, going back to the '50s, this agency reports what itwants, and buries what it doesn't want Congress to know. Is there something else that's bothering you, Mr. President? Yes. It involves some old and forgotten papers. Uh, things I signed as vice president. I wantthe originals in my office, and I don'twantcopies anywhere else. You're referring, I believe, to chairing the Special operations Group... - as vice president. - Yeah. As you know, thatwas unique. Notan operation so much as an organic phenomenon. It grew. Itchanged shape. It developed appetites. It's not unusual in such cases... thatthings are not committed to paper. Thatcould be very embarrassing. I sawto itthatmy name was never connected with any ofthese operations. - Dien. - [Gunfire] - Trujillo. - [Birds Chirping] Lumumba. Guatemala. Iran. Cuba. It's a shame you didn'ttake similar precautions, Dick. I'm interested in those documents that put your people... togetherwith the gangster elements. - I'll hold the documents. - Kennedy threatened to smash the C.I.A., into a thousand pieces. You could do the same. I'm notJack Kennedy. Uh, your agency is secure. Not if I give you all the cards. [Sighs] I promised the American people peace with honor in SoutheastAsia. Now, thatmay take time. Two, maybe three years. But, in the meantime, your agencywill continue... atcurrent levels offunding. Current levels may not be sufficient. Well, the president will support... a reasonable request for an increase. And me? Of course, you will continue as D.C.I., Dick. You're doing a magnificent job. Of course, I accept. I'm flattered. And I wantyou to knowthat I serve only one presidentata time. Yes. And you will give General Cushman full access. [Sighs] Itcould take a little time, but I will order a search foryour papers. - Good. - But it does raise a troubling issue. - What? - Castro. Yes? We have recent intelligence thata Soviet nuclear submarine... has docked at Cienfuegos. Well, we'll launch a formal protest. I don't think we can treat this as a formality. Mr. Kennedy gave the Russians a verbal promise... that he would not invade Cuba. Did you authorize Dr. Kissinger to putthis in writing? Are you tapping Kissinger? My job... unpleasantattimes... is to knowwhatothers don'twantme to know. Not if you have spies in the White House, it isn't. It is notmy practice to spy on the president. Dr. Kissingermanages to convey his innermostsecrets withoutmy help. Dick, we've lived with Communism in Cuba forten years. But it has never been the policy ofthis governmentto acceptthat, and it is certainly not C.I.A. Policy. C.I.A. Policy? The C.I.A. Has no policy exceptwhat I dictate to you. I tried to, uh, adjust to the world as it is today, notas you or I wanted it to be ten years ago. Is thatwhy you and Kissinger are negotiating with the Chinese? This is a very dangerous direction, Mr. President. Terrible consequences can result from such enormous errors of judgment. But ifwe were able to separate China from Russia once and for all, we can... we could create a balance of power... thatwould secure the peace into the nextcentury. And offer Cuba to the Russians as a consolation prize? Cuba would be a small price to pay. So President Kennedy thought. No. I neverthought Kennedy was ready forthe presidency. But I... I would never, uh, have considered, um... His death was awful. Itwas an awful thing forthis country. Yeah. Do you ever think of death, Dick? The flowers are a continual reminder of ourmortality. Do you appreciate flowers? No. No, they make me sick, and they smell like death. I had two brothers die young. Letme tellyou. There are worstthings than death. Yes. There's such a thing as evil. You must be familiar with my favorite poem by Yeats: The Second Coming. Black Irish. Very moving. "Turning and turning in the widening gyre... "the falcon cannot hear the falconer. "Things fall apart. "The center cannot hold. "Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world. "And everywhere the ceremony ofinnocence is lost. "The best lack all conviction. And the worst are full of passionate intensity. " But it ends so beautifully ominous. "What rough beast, "its hour come round at last. Slouches toward Bethlehem to be born." Yes. This country... stands atsuch a juncture. - [Dishes Rattling] - Manolo? Manolo? - [Manolo] Mr. President. - Yeah. L - I'm sorry. L - I was asleep. Whatcan I getyou? - Well, you know. - Of course. [Ice Cubes Drop In Glass] Do you miss Cuba, Manolo? Yes, Mr. President. We letyou down, didn'twe? Your people. Thatwas Mr. Kennedy, sir. Oh. [Drink Pouring] You don'tthink he was a hero, do you? He was a politician. Did you crywhen he died? Yes, sir. Why? I... don't know. [Chuckles] He... made me... see the stars. How did he do that? Those kids. Why do they hate me so much? [Distant Siren Wailing] [Men's Chorus] He has loosed the fateful lightning Ofhis terrible swiftsword His truth is marching on I have seen him in the watch fires ofa hundred circling camps They have builded him an altar in the evening dews and damps I can read his righteous sentence by the dim and flaring lamps - His day is marching on - [Gunfire] I have read a fiery gospel writ in burnished rows ofsteel As ye deal with my contemner so with you my grace shall deal Let the hero born ofwoman [Girl] It's the president. - Crush the serpentwith his heel - [People Murmuring] Hi. I'm Dick Nixon. Hi there. - Hi. Where you from? - Syracuse. Oh, yeah, the, uh, orangemen. Now, there's a football program, uh... Jim Brown and that, uh, other, uh, tailback... the one with the blood disease. - Ernie Davis. - Yeah, right, right, right. [Boy Laughing] I used to play a little ball myself atWhittier. Of course, they used to use me as a, a tackling dummy. We didn'tcome here to talk aboutfootball. Yeah, I understand that. - Uh, how old are you, young lady? - Nineteen. Yeah. Well, probably mostof you think I'm a real S.o.B. I knowthat. - [Murmuring Agreement] - I understand howyou feel. But, you know, I want peace too. - But peace with honor. - [Girl] What does that mean? [Quiet Murmuring] Well, you can't have peace withouta price. Sometimes you have to be, uh, willing to fightfor peace... and sometimes to die. Yeah? Tell that to the G.I. S who are going to die tomorrow in Vietnam. [Girl] What lets you kill women and children? Whatyou have to understand is we're willing to die forwhat we believe in. - [Girl] That's right. - [Boy] It's the truth. Yeah. Look, thatman up there, he lived in similartimes. Oh, he had chaos, civil war, hatred between the races. - [Boy] This is all bullshit. - Sometimes I go to the Lincoln Room... atthe White House and just pray. But, you know, Liberals... act like idealism belongs to them. That's nottrue. No. My family... went Republican because Lincoln freed the slaves. My grandmother was an abolitionist. Itwas Quakers who founded Whittier, my hometown, - [Impatient Murmuring] - Uh, to abolish slavery. Theywere, you know, conservative bible folk, butthey had a powerful sense of rightand wrong. Forty years ago... [Chuckles] I was like you. Looking foranswers. - See? - [Murmuring Continues] [Boy] Tricky Dick himself. My mother used to feed hobos stopping overat our house. - [Haldeman] We got him. - [Boy] Don't push, pig - [Agent] Move away. - We're just rapping, my friends and I. In fact, we agree on a lot ofthings, don'twe? [Girl] No, we don't. You say you wantto end the war, so why don'tyou? Change always comes slowly. [Sighs] I pulled out more than halfthe troops. I'm trying to cutthe military budget forthe firsttime in 30 years. I wanta volunteer army. But it's also a question of American credibility. - Our... our position in the world. - Come on, Mr. Nixon. It's a civil war between Vietnamese. You don'twantthe war. We don'twantthe war. The Vietnamese don'twantthe war. - So why does it go on? - [Faint Voice On Radio] - You should be going, Mr. President. - Okay. Please. You can'tstop it, can you? Even ifyou wanted to. - 'Cause it's notyou, it's the system. - [Coughing] The system won't letyou stop it. [Boy] That's right. There's... There's more atstake here... - than whatyou wantorwhat I want. - Then what's the point? What's the pointof being president? You're powerless! - No! - No, I'm not powerless. Because... Because I understand the system, I believe I can, uh... I can control it, maybe notcontrol ittotally, buttame itenough to make it do some good. Sounds like you're talking abouta wild animal. Yeah, maybe I am. We really must go, Mr. President. Please. - [Girl] Hey, what about the war, man? - When you gonna get us out? [Agent] The old man's moving. - [Haldeman] Move it. Getaway. - [Nixon] She got it, Bob. - Nineteen-year-old college kid. - What? Who? She understood something that's taken me 25 years in politics to understand. The C.I.A., the Mafia, those Wall Street bastards. - Sir? - The beast. - She called ita wild animal. - Yes, sir. Before his judgmentseat Oh, be swift, my soul to answer him be jubilant, my feet - OurGod is marching on - [Gunshot] - Glory, glory, hallelujah - [Growling Sound] - Glory- - [Explosion] [Newscaster] In Washington, the size ofthe crowds... have swelled to overa quarter ofa million demonstrators... protesting the ongoing war in Vietnam. There must be a quarter million ofthem out there, Edgar. You know, they've been at it nowfor a whole year. Young kids, just like Tricia. I don't know. Do you think they gota point, Edgar? This whole damn system of government. Rememberwhat Lenin said in 1917, Mr. President, "The powerwas lying in the streets, waiting for someone to pick it up." The Communists have never been closerthan they are now. Now's the time to get back to the old themes. The ones that made you president. Letthe Communists know you're onto them. Those bastards. Think they can ruin Tricia's wedding... by dancing naked in the reflecting pool. Well, don't listen to them and don'tquit. Remember, Kennedy and King were against the war. Where are they now? [Chuckles] Howthe hell the Times gota hold of this Ellsberg stuff is a disgrace. Yeah. You know, we can't keep a damn secret in this government. They're stealing papers rightoutofthis office. Johnson had the same damn problem, till he bugged his own office. We took thatsystem out. Butthatwas a mistake. The White House was full of Kennedy people then. Itstill is. - Who do you think's behind this? - Well, you have C.I.A. People all overthis place. Helms has seen to that. And then there's Kissinger's staff. Kissinger himself, I believe, may be the leaker. - Kissinger? - He's obsessed with his own image. He wants his Nobel peace prize a little too much. And as the late Dr. King proved, even an ape can win a prize with good press. Jesus, I'd like to book him into a psychiatrist's office. He comes in here ranting and raving, - dumping his crap all overthe place. - [Laughing] Could you prove it, Edgar? Mr. President, I always getmy man. Yeah, you do. This damn tie. - Could you help me? - Yeah. See, I'd be bugging myself. Who'd getthe tapes? No one. Your property. And itwould prove your case. Why do you think Kissinger is taping allyour calls? For history. Hmm? His word againstyours. And right now... he's gotthe records. I'll get Manolo to do this. Thanks. Churchill once said to me, "If you want your own historywritten properly, you'd betterwrite it yourself." The only thing is, Edgar, I don't wantthis to come back and hauntme. Itwon't, as long as I'm here. Good. Uh, [Chuckles] This way. What's wrong? We're just not going to buckle to these people. No more war! [Chuckling] It's beautiful. Yes, thank you. Princess, may I? - [Applause] - Thank you. I'm very proud of you today, Princess. Very. Thank you, Daddy. [Applause] [Ends] Yeah? Some very secretessays on Vietnam have been leaked to the New York Times. - I know, I know. Not now, Chuck. - [Orchestra Resumes] - The New York Times. - Get Ron over here. - It's the happiest day of my life. - [Chuckling] [Newscaster] The New York Times began publishing today... the first in a series of47 volumes... oftop-secret Pentagon tapes... relating to the war in Vietnam. The papers, leaked by defense analyst Daniel Ellsberg, reveal a pattern of government lies and American involvement in the war. [Kissinger] Mr. President, we are in a revolutionary situation. We are under siege. The Black Panthers, the Weathermen. The State Department under Rogers is leaking like a sieve. And nowthis little, insignificant little shit Ellsberg... publishing all the diplomatic secrets ofthis country... is destroying ourability to conduct foreign policy. I wonder if many people here wouldn't think thatten years in prison... was very cheap ifthey could contribute to ending this war. The man has become a drug fiend. He shot people from helicopters in Vietnam. He's had sexual relations with his wife in frontoftheir children. He sees a shrink in L.A. The man's all fucked up. And now he's trying to look good forthe Liberals. And if he gets awaywith it, everybodywill follow his lead. This man must be stopped atall costs. I'm as frustrated as you are, but don't you think this is a Democrat problem? They started the war. Itmakes them look bad. But, Mr. President, the Russians, the Vietnamese- - It makes you look like a weakling. I - Goddamn it. How long have we had this jackass dog? Two years? He still doesn't come. We need a dog that looks happy when the press is here. - He's photogenic. Try new biscuits. - Aw, fuck it. He doesn't like me, John. It's yourfault, Henry. - I beg your pardon? - It's your people talking to the press. Uh, this Ellsberg, wasn't he a student ofyours at Harvard? I mean, he's your idea, Henry. So why are you running for cover? [Kissinger] Well, yes, we taught a class togetherat Harvard, butyou knowthese back-stabbing Ivy League intellectuals. - No, I don't, Henry. I don't. - Prosecute the New York Times. Yeah, but it's not, bottom line, gonna change a goddamn thing, John. The question is how do we screw Ellsberg so bad... it puts the fear of God into all leakers? The other issue is how do we stop these leaks once and for all? Now, someone is talking to the press. We gotta stop these leaks at any cost. You hearme? Then we can go forthe big pic... China, Russia. - [Colson] Sir, if I might? - Go, Chuck. We can do this ourselves. The C.I.A. And the F.B.I. Aren't doing the job. Now, we can create our own intelligence unit right here inside the White House. Well, why not? - Our own intelligence to plug the leaks? - [Colson] Yeah. - Like plumbers. - Plumbers. I like it. I like the idea. Yeah, but, uh, is it legal? Has itever been done before? Oh, sure. Lyndon,J.F.K., F.D.R. Truman cut the shit out ofmy investigation ofthe Hiss case in '48. What he did was illegal. You know, with this kind ofthing, you gotto be brutal. A leak happens, the whole damn place should be fired. Really, I mean, you do it like the Germans in World War II. Theywentthrough these towns, and a sniper hitone of'em, they'd line the whole goddamn town up and say, "Untilyou talk, you're all getting shot." Really, I think that's what has to be done. I don'tthink you can be Mr. Nice Guy anymore. [Colson] You justwhisperthe word to me, and I'll shoot Ellsberg myself. - [Ehrlichman] We're not Germans. - Yeah. Ellsberg's notthe issue. The Pentagon papers aren'tthe issue. It's the lie. - [Crowd Cheering] - [Chambers] Mr. Hiss is lying. Yeah. Remember, John, back in '48? Nobody believed Alger Hiss was a Communistexceptme. Well, they loved Hiss like they loved this Ellsberg character. He was their kind- Ivy League establishment. I am not, and never have been... - Mr. Hiss is lying. - Mr. Hiss? - I was dirt to them, nothing. - And Dick kicked the shitoutof'em. I wouldn't have if Hiss hadn't lied about knowing Chambers. The documents were old and outof date, just like these Pentagon papers. The key thing we proved was that Hiss was a liar. Then people bought that he was a spy. It's the lie that gets you. All right, Henry, we're gonna go yourway. Crush this Ellsberg same waywe did Hiss. There is no other choice, Mr. President. We're gonna hit him so hard, he'll look like everything that's sick and evil... aboutthe eastern establishment. You and your plumbers, you're gonna get all the dirton this guy. Let's see him going to the bathroom in frontofthe American public. And when we finish with him, they'll crucify him. Then we'll get our second term. - [Mambo] - [RoosterCrows] [People Yelling In Spanish] [Clucking] [Angry Screeching] The claws are out, Frank. - You seen the guys? - They're around. - Why? You gota customer? - [RoosterCrows] The White House. - You're fuckin' me. - We're gonna be plumbers, Frank. We're gonna plug leaks. - Who are we workin'for? - Aguy named Gordon Liddy. He thinks he's Martin Bormann. He wants to meetyou. Gordon Liddy, Frank Sturgis. Hey, Frank. [Nixon] Did you see the look on Hoover's face? He's redderthan a beet. That little closetfairy's got no choice. He hates McGovern and Kennedy so much, he's gotta love me. - And Lyndon? - He looked old, didn't he? [Haldeman on Phone] Have you talked to Lyndon? Yeah, I asked him, "Lyndon, whatwould you do on a scale of one to ten?" He said, "Bomb the shit out of Hanoi, boy. Bomb them where they live. " Yeah. Bob, tell Trini I'll be in Key Biscayne at 4:00. - [Haldeman] With Pat? - No, alone. Uh, Pat's staying here with Mrs. Eisenhower. - Yes, sir. - Good. [Hangs Up Receiver] Hi, Buddy. Whatare you doing here? I missed you. Why don'twe go down to Key Biscayne together? Because... I have to relax. You know, I was, uh, justthinking tonight. Rememberwhen you used to drive me on dates with other boys? Yeah. You didn'twantto letme outof your sight. Yeah. Sure. Itwas a long time ago. Yes, it's been a long time. Now, look, Buddy. I don't need that. I'm notJack Kennedy. No, you're not. So stop comparing yourself to him. You have no reason to. You have everything you everwanted. You earned it. Why can'tyou justenjoy it? [Sighs] I do. I do in my own way. Then whatare you scared of, honey? I'm notscared, Buddy. You don't understand. They're playing for keeps, Buddy. You know, the press, the kids, the Liberals out there. They're outthere trying to figure out howto tearme down. - They're allyour enemies? - Yes. You, personally? Yes! Listen, this is aboutme. Why can'tyou understand that? I mean, you of all people. It's notthe war. It's Nixon! It's not Vietnam, it's Nixon. Theywantto destroy Nixon. If I expose myselfjust the slightest bit, they'll tear my insides out. You want that? You know? You wantto see that, Buddy? It's not pretty! Sometimes I think that's whatyou want, Dick. Whatthe hell are you saying? Are you drunk? Jesus, you sound just like them now. I gotta keep fighting, Buddy, forthe country. These people running things, the elite! They're justsoft, chicken-shit faggots. They don't have the long-term vision anymore. They justwantto covertheir ass and meet girls and tear each other down. Oh, God, this country's in deep, deep, deep trouble, Buddy. I have to see this through, you know. Motherwould have expected no less of me. I'm sorry, Buddy. I justwish you knew how much I love you, that's all. Ittook me a long time to fall in love with you, Dick, but I did. And it doesn't make you happy. - You want them to love you. - No, I don't. I'm notJack Kennedy. They neverwill, Dick. No matter howmany elections you win, they neverwill. [Murmuring] Gentlemen, the president. All right, gentlemen. This is our last damn leak. It's no way to run a goddamn government. We're going to prosecute the hell outof Ellsberg and any else who wants to leak. And, uh, that means anyone ofyou here who crosses the line, I'm personally going afterthem, okay? The permissiveness ofthis year is over. The belts are coming off and people are going to go to the woodshed. 'Cause the governmentcannotsurvive with a counter-government inside it. I know howtraitors operate. I've dealtwith them all ofmy life. It's neverthe little people. Little people do not leak. It's always some, uh, smooth son ofa bitch like Ellsberg. You know, the Harvard Hebrew boys... who leak. Now I hear people say, "But Ellsberg did itforthe good ofthe country." You know, "The people's rightto know." You know. Well, well, neverthe case, Alger Hiss said the same damn thing, and so did the Rosenbergs. Look what happened to them. [Imitates Electrical Charge] Old Sparky got'em. They always underestimated old Nixon, see. We're gonna fight just as dirty. This is sudden death, gentlemen. We're gonna getthem on the ground, stick in our spikes... and twistand showthem no mercy. So, uh, starting today, no one in this room talks to the press, uh, withoutchecking first with Mr. Haldeman here. And, uh, thatmeans, Ron, a complete freeze on the New York Times, CBS, PBS, Jack Anderson and the Washington Post. Um, Mr. Haldeman is the chief high executionerfrom now on, so don'tyou come whining to me when he tells you to do something. That's me talking, okay? And ifyou do come to me, I'll be tougherthan he is. Anyone who screws with us, his fucking head comes off. You gotthat? Well, thank you very much, gentlemen, and, uh, good day to you. - [Nixon] History will never be the same. - [Man Speaking Spanish] - We're taking a step into the future. - Liddy, give them the folder. - We have changed the world. - Five, ten. - Let's see whatelse you got. [Anthem] [ShutterClicking] - I mustsay, you look very good. - [TranslatorSpeaking Chinese] - [Speaking Chinese] - [Translator] Looks can be deceiving. Uh, we knowwhat risks you've taken in inviting us here. [Translator] I took no risk. I am too old to be afraid ofwhat anyone thinks. - [Mao Speaking Chinese] - [Translator] Don'tevertrustthem. They nevertell the truth... or honor theircommitments. - [Continues In Chinese] - Vietnamese are like Russians. Both are dogs. Mr. Chairman, there's an old saying in my country: The enemy of my enemy is my friend. [Speaking Chinese] [Translator] That has the added virtue ofbeing true. [Kissinger] Yourwritings have changed the world, Mr. Chairman. [Translator Speaking Chinese] - [Speaks Chinese] - [Translator] Bullshit. My writings mean absolutely nothing. [Mao Speaking Chinese] [Translator] I want to knowyoursecret. [Kissinger] My secret, Mr. Chairman? [Mao Speaking Chinese] How a fatman gets so many girls. - Heh-heh-heh-heh. - [Laughs] Power, Mr. Chairman, - is the ultimate aphrodisiac. - [TranslatorSpeaking Chinese] - [Laughs] - [Thunder Rumbling] [Mao Speaking Chinese] [Translator] You know, I voted foryou in your last election. [Nixon Laughs] - I was the the lesseroftwo evils. - [Speaking Chinese] [Translator] You are too modest, Mr. Nixon. You are as evil as I am. [Translator] We are the new emperors. - [Mao Continues In Chinese] - We are both from poorfamilies... and others pay to feed the hunger in us. In my case, millions ofreactionaries. In yourcase, millions ofVietnamese. Uh, civil war is always the cruelest kind ofwar, butourtwo nations were forged by revolution. - The United States, China. - [Mao Speaking Chinese] [Translator] Peace? Is peace all you're interested in? The real war is in us. [Continues In Chinese] [Translator] History is a symptom ofourdisease. - [Thunder Rumbling] - [Explosions] [Newscaster] In a surprise Christmas bombing of Hanoi, Nixon delivered more tonnage than was used at Dresden in World War II. It is without doubt the most brutal bombing in American history. Newspapers are calling it a Stone Age tactic... and Nixon a maddened tyrant. Nixon's response: "When the Vietnamese take the Paris peace talks seriously, I'll stop. " [Machine Gun Fire, Explosions Continue] A penny foryourthoughts. Justthink ofthe... Think ofthe life Mao's led. In '52 I... I called him a monster. Now he could be ourmost importantally. Only Nixon could've done that. You're a long way from Whittier. [Nixon] Yep. Yes, I am. Congratulations, Dick. - [DoorOpens] - [Man] Mr. Ziegler. Mr. President, the press guys asked if you could come back. - The hell with them. - I'll go back, Mr. President. No, uh, theywantyou, Mr. President. I, uh... I think itwould be a good move. Oh? - Who's back there? - Everybody. Okay. Gentlemen, I go nowto discover... the exact length, width and depth ofthe shaft. [Reporters Laughing, Talking] Ladies and gentlemen, the president. - [Woman] Oh, it's the president. - Hi. - Hi. - Hi. - Mr. President- - Congratulations, sir. - Well done. I - [Reporters Talking Simultaneously] - Thank you, sir! - [Applause Continues] - Bravo, sir. I - Thank you. - [Reporters Laughing] - Congratulations! Well, it looks to me like we're gonna lose a warforthe first goddamn time. - Yeah, I am, too. She was very pretty. You were very pretty. Remember that. Thank you all very much for this warm welcome. It's truly an honor for me to be here in your country. Hello, Rose, I would love to speak with you. I never seem to catch you at home. I really think we should diss... discuss this, Rose, and believe me, I have no judgment over what happened, well, I just think we should talk. I'm leaving for Venice tomorrow and I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I do have a... a present for you, it's a... it's a week at a baseball camp. Rose... Hello, Rose? Rose, are you there? - Henry, have you heard from her? - She apparently cancelled her summer classes. How do you know that? I called her mother. She said Rose took a couple of months off. - Rose, here, try this one, it's a size eight. - Oh, I like the black one and I need a size six. Hello, Rose, it's very important, I have to say, I'm very surprised, I can't believe how childishly you're behaving, it's so unlike you. - How did she finally persuade YOU to come? - It's a long story. I'm changing my plans, I'm coming home right after London, I'm supposed to be in New York next Monday. My number here is: 01-71-25773-55. All prime numbers, by the way. Hello? Rose? You here? Rose? Hi! Don't come in, I'll be right out. May I have a glass, too, please? Good to see you, Greg, how was your trip? Are you all right? Oh, just a little dizzy, the traveling doesn't agree with me. You need a glass of water? - Wha... what happened to you? - Nothing, I just made a few changes. - What did you do to your hair? - I lightened it. Your face... You're wearing make-up. Yeah, well, women do wear makeup from time to time, Greg. It's not like I had SURGERY or anything, although my mother offered. But... you never... - Are you hungry? - You never wore makeup. I know, the... the "No Frills Girl", RIGHT? Well, like I said, I made a few changes. - And you lost weight, too? - Well, thank you! Now, these have no oil or butter, trust me, it's delicious, you just have to get used to it. Among other things! Wha... what've you done? What've I done, I... I... I'm wearing makeup, I lost a few pounds, I didn't name names before a Senate Committee. Well... well, forgive me, but, you don't return my calls, you completely cut me off, and then I... I returned to find this... I'm... - I... I'm... - What? Speechless. - I guess you don't like it. - Don't like it? I'm in shock. I... I come home to find a completely different woman in my apartment. Why did you do it? Wait a minute! Why do I have to EXPLAIN this to you or ANYBODY. - I'm not anybody, I'm your husband. - You could've fooled me. And I married a woman who looked a certain way. - To tell you the truth, I feel sort of betrayed. - Betrayed! Oh! Please! Gregory, c'mon! - You had no right. - I had no RIGHT? Why did you do this to me? Do WHAT to you? I don't do ANYTHING to you! That's the problem. What's the difference what I LOOK like? You never looked at me ANYHOW. If physical appearance doesn't matter, then what's wrong with THIS appearance? I happen to like the way I look. And I'm sorry if it upsets your mathematical equation. "Handsome, frightened man marries unattractive, desperate woman." - Is that how the ad read? - No, no. It's simply that I was expecting someone ELSE. I... I... I'm sorry, I don't know what to say, I guess I'll just have to get used to it. No you don't... you don't have to get used to anything. - Wha... what do you mean? - Gregory, I don't want to continue. I... I... I... I don't understand. I... I really want to apologize. I... settled for something that I didn't want. I thought I could live with that, I thought that it would be enough, but... I lied, I lied to myself, I lied to you. To tell you the truth, I think your theories about relationships are total bullshit. I believe in love and lust and sex and romance, I don't want everything to add up to some perfect equation. I want mess and chaos, I want someone to go crazy out of his brain for me. I want to feel passion and heat and sweat and madness! I want Valentines and cupids and all the rest of that crap! I want it all, and I want to thank you. I want to thank you, Greg, because you FORCED me to look at things that I was TOO lazy or too SCARED to look at. I mean, can you imagine, all this time I... I kept up this ridiculous fantasy that - you, like Alex, would fall in love with me. - Rose... Rose... no... I know, I know, I know, I was wrong, it was unfair of me to think you'd change. - Rose... Rose... but I think... - I know what you think, Greg, and just let me finish - what I was going... - Rose, Rose, I feel... You feel very strongly about your beliefs, I appreciate that, but... I'm sorry that I broke our agreement, it was just that I fell in love with you... stupid, right? Rose... Rose... I feel... that... I don't want you to feel bad. Because I'm not in love with you anymore. What? Which ironically makes me perfect for this marriage, except now I don't want it. Suddenly... dinner doesn't seem like such a good idea, does it? I should... I should go. - Whe... whe... where are you going? Your mother's? - Just until I find my own place. I... I hope at some point we can pick up where we left off, as friends. Friends? I really do thank you, Greg, you're the first man who wanted to marry me... for any reason. Can I call you tomorrow? What for? You all have copies of the syllabus, right? Yes There will be four short papers on assigned text. Be prepared to also discuss these in class. Now, some of my students from last term can tell you how important these oral discussions are... in... what, what? ! Yes, I have breasts. They CANNOT, however, be the subject of one of your papers. Now... Hey! A double play! Of course I'll miss spending time with her, but I feel proud that I... I stood up for what I believe, I still think I was right, it could have worked. Obviously not with her, but... I think it was an invaluable experience. - You're in bad shape, aren't you? - Well, I just told you... May I make a suggestion? Put all your valuable possessions, things you REALLY care about, in storage. Why? Trust me on this, you don't want anything breakable in your apartment right now. Henry, Henry, I just told you, I'm fine. Really, I'm actually using all of this in my next book. Especially glass. I miss him, Claire, but I don't think he's ready for me. I still can't get used to seeing you like this, it's sort of unnerving. Thanks. Makes you just like the rest of us now, doesn't it? You'll see. Now you'll spend an extra hour in front of the mirror, every morning and every night, as if it'll make any difference. Now you'll be the one to walk into a room and scan it for who looks better than you and who doesn't. And as the years go by, the numbers change... until, one day, you walk into a room and you're the last woman ANY man notices. Rose? My God! Rose! - Hi, Alex. - I can't believe it's you. My God! Alex, get a fucking grip. - You look incredible! - Thank you. - Doesn't she look incredible? - Yes, we already covered that. - Oh, yes! - Can I have another drink. - I thought you hated salad. - I do. I just can't eat a big cheeseburger in the middle of the day anymore, ya know? - Doesn't it bloat you? - Bloat me? - Yeah. - No, it doesn't bloat me. Actually, I thought it went really well with the spareribs I had for breakfast this morning. - What's the matter? - I'm sorry. I just thought we'd always be in the same boat, ya know what I'm sayin'? It made it easier somehow. I know. Tell you what. I'll give you half my salad if you give me half your burger. - We'll need some more dressing. - Definitely. Waiter! We all WANT to be attractive, but remember: One of the first things people notice... the one thing that makes a lasting impression... is... your smile. If you're like most people, your appearance is important to you. We all spend so much time, energy AND money in an effort to look our best. We all WANT to be attractive. Hello. Hello, Rose, it's Alex. Oh! Hi, Alex. How... how are you? Oh, I'm okay, I'm... trying to get on with my life, ya know. Oh, good, good. What's wrong with you? You don't... Claire's gone. Gone? Yeah. Gone where? I came home to surprise her during lunch and I found her in bed with her masseur. It's my own fault, really... Claire hates surprises. Alex, I'm... I'm really sorry. No, no, I knew it was coming. I don't know WHY she wasn't happy. I... I... I don't know how I could have loved her any more than I did. I don't think it would've mattered how much you loved her. - Rose. - Uh-huh. Did you know that Claire was jealous of you. - What! Jealous of me? - Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yes.. She used to get so mad at me every time I'd talk about you. She thought I had a secret crush on you. Maybe she was right. - Do you want to have dinner with me? - What? Well, I'm asking you if you want to have dinner with me. I... I have to... I have to think about it. I'll have to ask Claire. - All right. - Okay. "D"! Congratulations! You're improving! I still don't understand what you're saying about twin primes. - I'm explaining it to you! - But I still don't understand. Don't you know that it's possible to remove an infinite number of elements from an infinite set and still HAVE an infinite number of elements left over? We spent quite a bit of time on this already! My... my wife understood this on our first date! Class dismissed! Get out of here! Go! Go! Go! Very enjoyable dinner. - Did you cook it yourself? - Yes, I did. - What a liar. - Yes, I am. What? I was thinking... I only smoke when I'm with you... wonder why. I can't thank you enough... for the other day... for tonight. You're such an inspiration. The way you've changed. "Evolved", I guess, is a... better word, into this beautiful... smart... very sexy... I think I must have loved you all along... I just... didn't know it. What an idiot. Ha... Hannah, this is... this is ridiculous. Gregory, I really can't talk now. She can't not talk to me forever, I... I've got... Gregory,whatareyou doing? There're certain things I have to explain to her. I think it's a little late for that, Gregory, don't you think? What! ? I said, "I think it's a little late for that, Gregory". No, I don't think so. What Rose and I have goes far beyond what normal people... What's all that noise? What are you trying to say, Gregory? Gregory, what is going on? Could you just... Gregory! Hannah! What! ? Put her on the God damned damn phone right now! She's not here. What! ? Look, I might as well tell you, she's with Alex now. Alex? She's with him tonight, he and Claire split-up. I'm sure you know how much she's always cared for him. So, like I said, I see no point in your pursuing this any further. I'm so sorry to have keep you waiting. So, Mr. Jenkins, which one do you like best? To be perfectly honest, I think you're more beautiful now. Good answer. Wai... wai... wai... wai... wait a minute, wait a minute. What? What? What's the matter? What did you mean by, "You must have loved me all along but just didn't know it."? I don't... Yeah, but, wait, wait, wait... figure it out, 'cause I'd like an answer. Well, I don't know, Rose, I mean, you were different then, you weren't the same as you are now. So, how could you have LOVED me then? Well, I loved you because of who you were, not because I wanted who you are. So now you want who I am because I'm not who I was anymore? Okay... Rose, what? Where are you going? You know something, I have dreamt about this moment from the first day we met. I've played it out a million times in my mind... how you'd look, what you'd say, what you'd think. - And guess what? - What? You were better in my head. Oh, Rose! Sugar! Maybe I just had too much to drink, that's all. No! No! It's not you, it's me. You see, I don't feel anything, isn't that great? I never thought about what I would feel, I was only thinking about YOU. I only wanted to make YOU happy, I never thought I was good enough for you. Oh, but you are good enough for me, Rose. You are! You are! I know, I know, but Alex... you're not good enough for me. Okay... Oh! She's with Alex now, Henry. - Oh, God. - I can't believe it. I don't know what it is, my head or my stomach. You need anything? Drink this! C'mon! Lie down! - I think I might have Chinese food poisoning. - Here, give me your coat. I ordered Szechwan chicken but they brought beef, except I think it was a CAT. Cat! ? - I'm so dizzy. - Easy! Easy! I was in... the apartment, all alone, Henry. I... I didn't know what to do. C'mon! Give me your shoe! That's it! - I'm sorry, Henry. - Okay, you'll just stay here then, c'mon, c'mon. - Oh, Henry! - Yeah, that's good! - I love Rose. - I know. I... I love the OLD Rose, the one with no makeup, and baggy clothes, who loves the perfect bite. I love her, it's real. It's not based on passion... although I feel that. Or lust... although... I feel THAT. Or... or even physical attraction, because she wasn't... although I... I thought she was quite beautiful. Her eyes, her mouth, the way she held herself, the way she made fun of herself. She eats carrots now, isn't that tragic? What am I going to do? Do you know that in the last two years I've been with 11 different women? Most of them half my age, not one with a sense of humor I understood. Now, I don't date these girls because they're well read. I gave one a copy of "A Farewell to Arms", she thought it was a diet book. - Can I help you? - Yes, I want to see a Miss Morgan. It's kind of late to be visiting people, don't you think? Please, just ring her apartment. I don't believe Miss Morgan would care to be disturbed at this hour. - You don't believe? - It's six o'clock in the morning... - I believe... - I don't CARE what you believe. - I know her a lot better than you do. - Go home, Pal! Rose! - Rose! - Hey! Hey! Do you hear that? What the hell is going on? It's him, isn't it? Gregory! Rose. Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! Do you believe this? Rose! Where are my shoes? What does he think he's doing out there at this hour? I'm gonna... I'm gonna go and find out. He's insane. I know, isn't it wonderful? Get the hell out of here! Don't ya know people are trying to sleep! Yeah! Pipe down! You had enough? - Stop that! Hey, what are you doing? - Don't worry Miss Morgan, I'll call the police. Don't call the police, this is my husband! - He doesn't have a key? - Don't ask. See, I told you I know her better than you. - Are you all right? - Yeah. What... what... what is going on? What are you doing here? Well, I... I came to see YOU. Why? - Why did you come to see me? - Well... I... In... in... in light of our last conversation, and after speaking with Henry, I... I... I've come to realize... that... alth... alth... alth... although you might... might have significant reservations about e... e... even considering... Gregory! What! I'm aging here. What is it you want to say? God, you're beautiful. Thank you. Thank you, Gregory. What? I'm so sorry... for the way I acted and for the things I said, I... - I know that I hurt you, and... - That's okay. - And... and... and that's the... - I understand. last thing in the whole world I... I accept your apology. Rose! Rose! Please let me finish, this is important for me to say. Okay. That night... That... that terrible night... I... I... I wanted you so much, I couldn't see straight. I have to make sure you know that. Rose, it wasn't YOU. No! It wasn't you, Rose. You're a very... a very sexy girl. And... and I know that it's unfair of me to say, now you're with Alex, but... Who said I... who said that I am, I was with Alex? Your mother. My mother? Oh, great. Oh, Greg! I'm not with Alex. You're not? Well... Talk to me. Rose... I love you. And... I... I want to be married to you. Gregory... you are married to me. Right... that's right, that's right, yeah, right. What? - I'm getting a little dizzy. - Oh, that's all right, it'll pass, just hold on to me. Rose, don't ever leave me again. I'm not leaving you... I love you. I couldn't stand being away from you, it was killing me. Ah, I'm so glad. I don't care if you ARE pretty, I love you anyway. Listen, everything's gonna drop as I get older, and I'm gaining weight as we SPEAK. Well, that's comforting. - Get in, Lady. - Oh, no, not you again! - You know this guy? - He's a good man. I can't believe this, your windows are still broke? Complain to the cab company, I got nothing to do with it. You can see that F of X equals E to Y... Times E to the X, which is what we were trying to prove. Notice the elegance of the proof. It's beautiful! It actually reminds me of a quote by Socrates, "If measure and symmetry are absent from any composition in any degree, "the ruin awaits both the ingredients and the composition. "Measure and symmetry are beauty, and virtue the world over." He's cute. Do you think he's straight? Oh, yeah, he's too boring to be gay. Oh. - Is it 5:15? Is my watch correct? - Yes, it is. Uh... Thank you. Uh... I'm releasing you a half hour early today. I have an appointment. I'm giving a lecture on my new book tonight. If people are interested, please see me. Okay. Um... Thank you. Whoo! Mmm. Rose, get that mask off your face. It's been 15 minutes. It'll clog your pores. You're gonna be late. It's almost 7:00. All right, all right. Ah! You stupid bum! $3 million a year! For what? For what? Come on. Come on, just one more out. - Barry Neufeld. - Hi, Barry. It's Rose. Hi... Oh, no, not again. Uh, I think it's an allergic reaction to something I ate, you know. Come on, come on, come on. - My throat's starting to close up. Oh! - It sounds like you're dying. Rose, it's the third time this month. Are you sure you're not allergic to me? Barry, please don't think that. That's a terrible thing to think! I'm gonna be blacklisted at every restaurant in Manhattan for not keeping reservations. Why don't you call me next week, okay? If you still want to. - Sure. Feel better. - Thank you. - Bye. - Bye. Think I should start with a joke? Oh, you're serious? No, I don't think so. There's not enough time. - For what? - For you to develop a sense of humor. And now, ladies and gentlemen, the author of Absolute Truth, Columbia's very own Professor Gregory Larkin. You're going to be fine. Thank you. Thank you very much. I'm honored by this warm and gracious welcome. As I stand here at the end of a journey, I'm reminded of something Descartes once said, "Whether I am awake or asleep, two and three will always make five. "A square can never have more than four sides. "It does not seem possible that truths "so clear and apparent can be suspected of any uncertainty." Uh, this book has taken me over 14 years to write. It is not without a little sadness that I say goodbye to it consuming my days and nights. And nights... Um... And so... And as I stand here... And so, in coming up... Summing up... Uh... Excuse me, I'm feeling a little dizzy. Uh... I thought it would feel differently. I thought I would know more. I don't. I don't know anything, really. Thank you all for coming. Thanks. Thank you. Oh, God. What did I say? It was fine, although I'd think twice about doing volunteer work for a suicide hotline. You were doing okay until Candice walked in. Don't start, Henry. I just forgot to eat. You should never drink on an empty stomach. Listen, it's perfectly natural. She left you what, a year ago? Thank God Candy left when she did, or I never would have finished the book. Thank god Rebecca left, and Catherine and Alison. You're the only guy I know who can't have sex and chew gum at the same time. Why does everything have to be about sex? Because everything is about sex. When I'm with someone, when I'm involved with them, I tend to get a little sidetracked, that's all. Greg, you call 14 years to write a book a little sidetracked? I bet she's still out there. - If I know Candice, she's out there. - No, no, no. Henry! She's out there. Come on, face her like a grown-up. Come on. Wait, do me a favor, Henry. Don't let me go home with her. Say we're going out to dinner. We are. It may seem odd not to invite... Please, Henry, just don't let me go home with her. All right. All right. Are you all right? - It was that stupid wine. Hello, Candice. - Hi. - You look great. - Thanks. I hope you don't mind me just showing up like this on your big night. No. It's just that I've been thinking so much about you lately. - Really? - Mmm-hmm. - Do you want to go get a drink? - No, I'd better not. - Want to grab a bite to eat? - No, I'm not hungry. - Want me to take you home? - Okay. - Good to see you, Henry. - But Greg, you said... Bye, Henry. - Candy, don't leave. - That was great. I thought you were gonna stay. Well, we're done. Is my shoe here? Well, Candy, I still have feelings for you. But I dumped you for another man. How could you still have feelings for me? - Besides, I'm still sort of with Paul. - I thought that was over. Well, he was cheating on me. I guess I wanted to feel better about myself before I see him tomorrow night. That's why you're here? Well, yeah. Look, you were always such a nice guy, but let's face it, we have nothing in common except sex and the fact that you idolize me. I really do care for you. Really. I just can't wind up with you. Can I call you sometime? What for? - Rose, are you going, or what? - No, I canceled. - So, what do you want to do for dinner? - What? Why don't you make that pasta with the artichokes? Then maybe later, we can figure out what to do with your hair for Claire's wedding. What is this? Look at this. I wish I could escape. The mating ritual is both speedy and violent for these passionate insects, with the lesser male often covering the larger female. If unsuccessful in mounting, the male is often eaten by the female during copulation. We're the girls of 1-400-Hot-Talk. Brianna, Tina, Marla and me, Felicia. Anything you want to talk about, call me. Call me. Call me. I don't really know where to begin. Are you lonely tonight, darling? Yeah. - So am I. What are you wearing? - Nothing special. Felicia, can I ask you a question? Want to know what I'm wearing? Just wearing a towel. I was drying myself off after a hot shower when you called... - Why do women leave? - What? Why do women leave? Especially beautiful women. I can't go through this anymore. Life is very complex. There are no guarantees. Why should that be? The mathematical world is completely rational, uncomplicated by sex. You think too much, hon. Don't you want to know how big my tits are? No! I just want to share my life with someone. - Someone I'm not sexually attracted to. - What? How can two people come together for what's a lasting and substantial, mutual respect, genuine affection, in a world that's run by ad agencies selling great sex? Take out your own ad, I guess. - An ad? - Mmm-hmm. Look at me. I'm a grown woman wearing a prom dress. You are not. You look adorable. Adorable? I look like an over-the-hill Barbie doll. It doesn't fit right, it's too tight. Too many Sno Balls. Why didn't you pick out something looser in my color? Because maids of honor don't wear black. It would help if you fixed yourself up a little bit. - Why don't you wear some make-up? - I am wearing make-up. Let's go. And your hair looks good today. I like it, the curls work. Why don't you get a perm? I tried that once. I looked like Shirley Temple on crack. Where the hell is she? I'm gonna kill her! I knew she would pull something like this. She can't stand the fact that I'm the one getting all the attention today. We should've had her committed when she turned 60. Claire, you can't have someone committed for excessive vanity. Thank you, Rose. How wonderful to have two compassionate daughters. I thought you were going to wear make-up today. - I am wearing make-up. - Well? Oh, my God. What the hell are you wearing? This happens to be an imitation Scaasi. You're the mother of the bride, not the opening act. Fine, I'll go home and change. Oh, stop it. We're late already. The priest is sweating. All celibates sweat, dear. If they didn't, they'd explode. Come on, let's go. I just went to buy myself a little snack. I can't sit through this without eating something, I'll pass out. - It'll only take 45 minutes. - It'll feel like two hours. Not to mention that you're marrying outside your faith and on the Sabbath... Mother, the only thing you ever taught me about the Sabbath is that Bergdorf's wouldn't be as crowded. And you listen to me, I want you to get up there, and I want you to remember today is my day. And if you don't behave yourself, I'm gonna have your birth certificate blown up as a Christmas card. I should have never encouraged you to speak. Maybe she'll look back and turn into a pillar of salt. Alex looks nervous. Oh, God, I hope I'm doing the right thing. I think you are. Ladies and gentlemen, the party is about to get started. The dance floor is all yours! Okay, girls, lick your lips. Come in close. It's good to see ya. Tell Claire I'm looking for her. Your husband's a lucky guy. - Mmm. - Oh! - Waiter! Can we have more dressing? - We were separated at birth. Two more drinks when you get a chance, please. That would be nice. This looks delicious. I'm so happy. I can't believe he's married. I can't believe he chose Claire over you. - I can. - I told you not to introduce them. Well, she already had a husband. I thought it was safe. - How are you handling all this? - I've learned my lesson. No more fantasies about good-looking men. You never know. There's a guy out there somewhere for you. Oh, yeah? Who? Barry Neufeld? So what's wrong with him? Besides the fact he looks like Gumpy, and he irritates the shit out of you? - Gumby, not Gumpy. - Gumby. Why should that matter? I'm no great prize, either. Don't say that. You are a terrific person and a great teacher. The truth is, I think I've reached the point. - What point? The point that you know you'll never get married. Married? What's marriage anyway? Oh! Come on. A ring, a contract, fighting and compromising. No, it can be more than that. I'll tell you what I envy about people in love. I'd love it if someone really knew me. What I like. What I'm afraid of. What kind of toothpaste I use. I think that would really be wonderful. Hey, sister-in-law, you having a good time? Yeah. - Have you seen Claire? - No. - I can't find her anywhere. - I'll go find her for you. - Thank you. - Excuse me. You look beautiful tonight. I'm not just saying that. You really do. I heard you. Why don't you have some coffee? I'll go find Claire. Claire, where have you been? Alex is looking for you. - Oh, brother, it's starting already? - Come on. How could you do this? I may never forgive you. I may never forgive you. That's another story. Hmm. Hmm. Yes. Yes. - Yes! - I'm Professor Gregory Larkin. I'm calling about the response to my ad. Is this Professor Morgan? No, this is her sister. Rose doesn't even know I answered the ad. Well, then maybe we shouldn't be talking. No! Please, it's just that Rose would never answer an ad herself. I mean, some of these guys are such creeps and losers. But when it said you taught at Columbia, something just clicked inside. - You have seen her picture, right? - Yes. - And? - And what? Nothing. Great. Make way, please. This is the scene at my sister's wedding. There she is getting drunk, regretting she ever got married for the third time, mind you. My mother is so jealous, she's sprouting snakes from her hair. And I'm thinking, "This is perfect." We've got three feminine archetypes, the divine whore, Medusa and me. Who am I? What archetype? Trevor. - The Virgin Mary? - Thanks a lot, Trevor. No, the faithful handmaiden. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. It does prove, however, what Jung said all along, that myths and archetypes are alive, and well and living in my apartment. As I stood at the altar beside my sister and her husband-to-be, it struck me that this ritual called a wedding ceremony is really just the last scene of a fairy tale. They never tell you what happens after. They never tell you that Cinderella drove the prince crazy with her obsessive need to clean the castle. But she missed her day job, right? No, they don't tell us what happens after, because there is no after. The be-all and the end-all of romantic love was... Mike? - Sex? - Sex on the brain, Mike. Marriage. Marriage, that's right. But it wasn't always like that. Around the 12th century, there was a notion known as "courtly love," where love had nothing to do with marriage and nothing to do with sex. In most cases, it was defined as a passionate relationship between a knight and a lady of the court, who was already married. And so, they could never consummate their love. In this way, they would have to rise above your ordinary "going to the bathroom in front of each other" kind of love, right? And they would go after something more divine. They took sex out of the equation, and what was left was a union of souls. Think of this. Sex was always the fatal love potion. Look at the literature of the time. Lancelot and Guinevere. Tristan and Isolde. All consummation could lead to was madness, despair or death. Clinical experts, scholars and my Aunt Esther are united in the belief that true love has spiritual dimensions, while romantic love is nothing but a lie. An illusion, a modern myth. A soulless manipulation. And speaking of manipulation... It's like going to the movies, and we see the lovers' onscreen kiss, and the music swells and we buy it, right? So when my date takes me home and kisses me good night, if I don't hear the philharmonic in my head, I dump him. The question is, why do we buy it? We buy it, because whether it's a myth or manipulation, we all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered, and we are flung into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon, but that doesn't diminish its value. Because we're left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives. I read an article a while ago that said, "When we fall in love, we hear Puccini in our heads." I love that. I think it's because his music expresses our longing for passion and romantic love. And while we're listening to La Boheme or Turandot, or reading Wuthering Heights, or watch Casablanca, a little bit of that love lives in us, too. So the final question is, why do people want to fall in love when it can have such a short shelf life and be devastatingly painful? What do you think? Stacy? - It leads to propagation of the species? - Mmm-hmm. Randy? Psychologically, we need to connect with somebody. - Could be. Jill. Because we're culturally preconditioned? Good answers, but too intellectual for me. I think it's because, as some of you already may know, while it does last, it feels fucking great. That's why. Thank you. Thank you. I'm halfway through my meal, and you haven't even started yet. The perfect bite. Mmm. You need a therapist. Rose, do we have to have the television on? Can't we have a civilized conversation? I know I'm not as intellectually stimulating as some of you university people... Okay, I'm sorry. How was your day, Mother? - Who gives a shit? - I said I was sorry. Let's talk. I've lived too long. I should be dead, not having conversations. You stop it, please. Give me that! Talk to me already! All right. You haven't even noticed I had my hair done differently. Yeah, I thought you looked different. It looks great. What's different about it? There's nothing different about it. You're just like your father. So easy to trip up. - So, how was work? - Same as always. Although I had one customer come in looking for a makeover. She needed one. Dyed blonde hair, blue eye shadow, ash brown foundation. Hideous. Anyway, she was shocked when she found out how old I was. Oh. How old were you? Sorry. I ran into Mr. Jenkins again. He cornered me in the elevator. He wants to take me to some Alzheimer's benefit. I said forget it. I can't believe he still asks you after all these years. Why don't you go with him sometime? Please, those days are over. I raised two daughters. I buried a husband. That's my life. I have no interest in starting another one. Besides, he knows my situation with you. You're not seeing him because of me? How would it look? The mother's dating, and the daughter stays home alone. Mom, who's looking? Hello. Hi. Hello, this is... Hello, I'm Gregory Larkin. Professor Gregory Larkin. Answer the phone. I'm sleeping. - Hello. - Hello? - Yes, is Professor Larkin there? - Who? I mean, is Professor Morgan there? - Barely. Who's this? - This is Gregory Larkin. I'm a professor in the math department at Columbia. I was just calling to see - how you are tonight. - I'm fine. How you are? Fine. I hope it wasn't presumptuous of me, but I sat down in one of your classes. And I was very impressed. I was hoping we could have dinner Saturday. Hold on. - Wait. Could you talk louder please? - I sat in on your class. - Hold on. Don't go away. - I was impressed with your teaching. I was hoping we could have dinner Saturday. I can do this! - Hello, can you hear me? - All right. Hello? Okay. Let's start again. You're a math teacher and you want to eat dinner. I sat in on one of your classes. - Rose, who's on the phone? - Be quiet! - I'm sorry. - No, not you. - Who's calling? - I don't know. Gregory Larkin. Math department. Columbia. The theory of implicit differentiation is often thought of as complex. Uh, but in reality it is quite simple. It's simply a matter of pretending that Y is a function of X. And so, um... Mmm. Hi. Oh, hi. - I saw you pass by. - I was just passing by... - I'm sorry about calling the other night... - I was so confused. - Are we on for Saturday night? - Sure. Good. I'm looking forward to it. Hmm. Moi aussi. Hmm. This one must be very good-looking for you to go to all this trouble. I hate lipstick. I can't stand it. That's not a good color for you. Did you try the samples I brought home? It doesn't matter. I'm not going. What do you want to do for dinner? I don't care about dinner. I'm upset. Can't you see that I'm upset? How should I know? You're always so relieved when you cancel your dates. This is not a date. We're just agreeing to eat at the same table. Then why does it matter how you look, unless you think something might happen with this one? Mother, would you stop calling him "this one." It sounds like you're picking out a lobster. And nothing's going to happen. He just likes the way I teach. - You need more color. - More color than this? - Yes. Would you sit down and let me do it? - All right. - Don't make me look like a clown. - You won't look like a clown. Here, you have to blend. - Where's the hairpiece? - Here. Do you want me to make you something before I leave? It's not such a bad thing to keep a man waiting. You don't want him to think he's the only date you've had in years. - It's not a date! - Give me the bow. Where's the bow? Hey, your mother did you up again. Looks terrific, Miss Morgan. - Thank you. - Want me to get you a cab? - No, I'm fine. - All right. Ooh, good. Sir! Sorry. Hello! Are you sure about this? You're going to take me? - Get in, lady. - Thanks. Here's where I'm going, but don't go until I put up the window. - They're broke, lady. - My hair! Don't complain to me. Complain to the cab company. Oh! - Hi. - Hi! Hi. - I'm sorry. - For what? You're exactly on time. My hair. I must look like I was attacked by wolves. I apologize, I didn't even notice. Mmm, uh... Could you excuse me while I go to the ladies' room - for a minute? - Sure, sure. Do you enjoy dancing? I used to love to dance with my father. You? I find it embarrassing. I enjoy watching it. - Oh, thank you. - Thank you. - Watching? - Pairs... It's interesting how coupling appears in nature and in mathematics. - You were talking about pairs... - The twin-prime conjecture. It explores pairs of prime numbers, numbers that are only divisible by themselves. Three-five. Five-seven. Not seven-nine... - Nine can be divided by three. - That's right. Then you have 11-13, and 17-19 and so on. It was discovered that pairs were often separated by... One number in between. Exactly. Did you read my book? - No, I'm sorry. - That's all right. This is really marvelous. - A first date like a game show. - I didn't mean to lecture. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call it a date. It's just rare that I meet a person I can discuss these things with. - Some pepper? - No, not for me. Could you bring me a side dish of extra dressing please? I don't particularly like salad, I just like the dressing. Ah. This twin-prime conjecture, it's interesting. Are there still pairs like that past a million? I can't believe you thought of that. That is what is to be proven. I have concert tickets next Saturday. I was wondering if we can do this again. - Sure. - Great. Terrific. What was it you wanted to discuss about my teaching? I have a confession to make. That was just an excuse to meet you. I hope you don't mind. Mind? I found it interesting. I have many questions, the first of which is, how do you get them to stay? Well? - Nothing. - What happened to your hair? Don't ask. - You won't be seeing him again? - We're going out next week. So, he must like you. Did he kiss you? No. That's kind of sweet, actually. Hi. This is Cindy. This is a spectrum analyzer. It makes graphic representations of the music. Watch. - Who's the girl? - Rose Morgan. Henry Fine is a professor in anthropology. Beautiful music, isn't it? Beautiful atmosphere. I enjoyed that. - Thank you so much for inviting me. - Oh, my pleasure. Why don't you come up to my apartment? I want to give you a copy of my book. I'd love that. Your book, I mean. Not to come up to your apartment. But, Rose, I'm inviting you up. If you like this kind of music, I have some wonderful CDs, but they're also in my apartment. Greg, I have to be honest with you. I'm a bit out of practice with this. Rose, I want you to feel comfortable. That's very important to me. I want to tell you up front. I'm not interested in sex. - You're not? - No, and it has nothing to do with you. It has to do with what you were talking about in your class. I, too, believe it's illusions about love and the emphasis on sex that separate people today. As you said, romance is a myth, a manipulation. I was referring to academic opinions that are purely subjective. You were right! Relationships that are based on romantic love are worthless. There's no point to them, they have no value. Did you stay for my whole class? I left when you were talking about the music we hear when lovers kiss in the movies. It is manipulative! In real life, we don't hear music when we kiss. And the person you're with isn't a movie star. It's a malicious... Fantasy? Is it all right if I sit down for a minute? The addiction to beauty and perfection created by advertising feeds on people's pathetic desires. They don't have their own opinions anymore. The media tells us what's beautiful and what's not. TV shows tell us what a relationship is supposed to be like. And sex! - I don't even want to tell you how that's ruined my life... - Oh, no. Go ahead. Tell me. - Well, I go crazy. - Really? Yeah? When I want someone sexually, I go out of my mind. Do you remember that movie where the woman kills the bunny? - Fatal Attraction? - Granted, it was a film. I can understand what she went through. Not that I would kill an animal. But I know the feeling of wanting someone so much that it hurts. This fiction, known as love, drives people crazy, as you said. Then you're either mad, alone... Or dead. But that was fiction. Right! We're dead! I do believe two people can come together, even marry, for reasons more concrete than sex. A love that grows in time out of respect, love, trust, common interest. Have you noticed that friendships last longer than marriages? The 12th century was on to something. Would you like some coffee? Tea? - Got any scotch? - Yeah. Are you busy this week? I was hoping you could help me with my teaching. I'm sure you're much better than you give yourself credit for. Maybe you could sit in on one of my classes, tell me what you think. If X squared plus Y squared equals 16, how do we find DY, DX as an implicit function of X and Y? Well, Y is a function of X... You walk across the room like this, and you're into your own thing. Your body language is very detached, very alienating. I think you have to relate more to the kids, engage them. You're up there with your back to the room, solving your own problems. It's like you're having a math party, and you only invited yourself. - No math party. - No math party. Relax. Loosen up. Have some fun. Relax. Have fun... What else? Loosen up. Put the pen down. I'm not going to test you on this. Come on. Teach me something. Anything. - Okay. - Mmm-hmm. If a ball is thrown up into the air, and its height, H, equals 100 T... What are you doing? Turn around. Talk to me. If T is time in seconds, at what limit is the speed... You lost me. What does that mean? You have to put it in context. - Jazz it up, find some humor in it. - Humor in calculus? - Well, try telling a story. - A story? Once upon a time, there was a ball. It was thrown into the air. And its height... Maybe I should just write books. No one understands those, either. Just kidding. - Don't give up. Try it again. - Tell you another story? - Hi, Professor Larkin. Oh. I'm sorry. - No, no, no. That's all right. Do we have an appointment? Actually, I wanted to make one. It's about next semester. Uh, oh... Could you come back tomorrow? After class? My head is swimming. It's hot. Put your head between your legs. Pretty girl. Very pretty. With all that make-up? You don't wear any, do you? I'd still look like me, only in color. You're too smart for that. You're a confident, no-nonsense woman. - I sound like an airline. - I'm sorry, I'm probably saying it wrong. It's just that you don't need any of that, Rose. Thanks. How's your head? - I think food will help you. - Pizza, maybe? Where can we go? Dancing? Why did I say that? There's that great dessert place. All delicious things are fattening. My mother would kill me. What is that, a Danish? This is the one. Right here. Trees are fascinating. They don't have to touch to propagate. You would find that fascinating. - How many do I need? - One, two, three, four... Why didn't I see that? Thank you very much. I owe you one. Sometimes you don't see what's right in front of your face. Six and a five. I got you. The pretzel! You can have mine. You sounded excited on the phone. I'm going to take my theory of love as a man-made cultural creation and expand it to include the biological effect on the individual. Greg. You need a hobby. I can't believe you've dated for three months, and you haven't kissed! - How do you say hello? - Well, we nod. It works. You mean you haven't even touched? I fell down once, and he picked me up. - We talk a lot. That's what we do. - About what? And I don't worry about what I say, what I wear, what I eat... It's a relief to eat with a man and not worry that he'll be frightened. He's really fun to be with. Maybe "fun" isn't the word. He's interesting. - How many men can you say that about? - Not many. Is a tie too personal a birthday gift? Are you using it on something other than his neck? Does he look good in vests? Why do you want him to meet your mother? I kept saying I was a great cook, so I offered him a birthday dinner. Now I need something nice. After meeting her, I won't see him again. - Hi, girls. Rose! - Hi, Claire. - I'm starving. Can we eat? - I can't, I have a date with a post-grad. Help her find a gift for Dr. Strangelove. Who? We should get you some blush. - I'm hungry, Claire. - No, fruit. Why are you so grumpy today? If he wasn't gorgeous, rich and straight, I wouldn't have bothered. I'm sick to death of the man I am bound to for eternity, that's all. Why are you saying that? No matter where I go, what I do, there he is. In the kitchen, in the bathroom, on the phone, on my finger. I was asleep the other night. When I wake up, he's staring at me. - I think that's sweet. - I think it's strange. Do you know how weird that makes me feel? A lesbian dream, and he's staring at me like I should include him. I can't even fantasize in private. Mom said you've been seeing someone steady. Is he cute? - What? - What are you doing here? I thought I'd meet you for coffee. Is that a terrible thing to do? Excuse me. I'm going to the ladies' room. Alone. Can you believe this weather? It's almost April, and it's still cold. I'm glad I have you alone. Can I ask you a question? It'll sound strange, but... Is Claire happy? I mean, do you think she's happy? Yes, I think she is. Why? I'm being silly. I'm a first-time husband, I guess. If she doesn't wake up and tell me she's ecstatic, I worry. Imagine, I have you to thank for the fact that we're married. You made this possible. Knowing you has changed my life. - Don't do that. - What? What am I doing? You don't even know, do you? Rose. - Just tell Claire I had to run. - Rose, I'm sorry. I really thought I was over him. I hate this. It's so stupid. - I must sound so pathetic. - No, not at all. He asked if Claire was happy, and I lied. - Isn't that awful? - Nothing criminal. - Thanks for seeing me on such short notice. - Are you feeling better now? A little. - You know, Rose, it takes time. - Yeah, I know. I want you to know that I really value our friendship. It means a lot to me. I feel the same way, which is why tonight... I better go home, I have to get dinner ready. I'll see you at 8:00, okay? Shall I bring anything for your mother? Yeah, a wooden stake and a crucifix. Bye. Rose loves to fold napkins. It's one of her idiosyncrasies. I came home late and threw this on. God knows how I look. - I hope you like it. - Oh, my God, Rose, it's art! It's not art. An artist isn't only one who paints. It's one who sets the table, prepares a meal or teaches in a certain way. - You're an artist, isn't she? - Thank you. Why didn't you use the Limoges? May I serve you? - Rose! - My hands are clean. We go to all this trouble, and Rose and I don't eat very much. - Really? - Mmm. I've always thought she had a very healthy appetite. I can't stand women who eat two bites and say they're full. Do you really need extra salt? You know how it retains water. Can I have some? And potatoes. Mmm-mmm. You don't need them. Have you ever sat in on one of your daughter's classes? - Rose! - What? That's the best part. - Rose tells me you've never been married. - Mom. That's all right, Rose. That's correct, Mrs. Morgan. I guess I haven't found the right girl. I've had relationships that haven't worked out, but that will change. Really? Why? As I told Rose, I have a theory about love and sex. Does anybody want coffee? - What theory? - Regular or decaf? - Regular. - I can make cappuccinos. Would you like cappuccinos? Greg, why don't you help me? - Why don't you put the coffee on? - I made dinner. You put it on. I've raised two daughters, buried a husband, I've made my coffee. Alone at last. I've heard a lot about you. - And I've heard a lot about you. - Oh. You've been seeing a lot of my daughter. I hope you don't mind my asking... What are your intentions? My intentions? What a lovely meal! You're a good cook. - I didn't oversell myself? - Not at all, but the trouble... Of course I had to go to that trouble. It was your birthday. What are friends for, but to give each other presents and stuff... Happy birthday. Open it up! I really hope you like it. - Dice? - They once were dice. - Now, they're cuff links with... - Prime numbers! Two, three, five, no nine. - They're beautiful! How'd you do that? - I had them made just for you. - They were done very fast. - Thank you. Well... I've wanted to ask you something, and I can only say this once... Sit down. We have a lot in common. Some variables will remain unknown, as is the case with most complex equations. Greg, talk to me. I'm not saying this right. This feeling you have for Alex, it won't be the same with me. You won't have that ache in your stomach, because we're not in love. I think we share a genuine affection for each other. We share a passion for knowledge rather than a physical passion. Although, if sex is something that interests you, I'm sure I could provide that on occasion, given enough warning. - What are you saying? - We were both in love and miserable. It's a waste, because as people, we're valuable. When I look at you, I see a woman unlike any I've ever known before. Your mind, your humor, your passion for ideas. I'm very fond of you. When I'm with you, I feel as if I'm home. So I think we should get married. People marry for sex or beauty. Are my reasons more insane than those? Are you in shock or just appalled? Blink if you can hear me. Why are you laughing? I'm sorry. This sounds silly, but I was just thinking... How could I marry someone that I've never even... You know... Oh. Kissed. There's one thing I have to say. I promised your sister I wouldn't. You love Claire, too? You just slept with her? - You want to? - I don't even know her. It's about how I found you. I wrote this ad... I think that's kind of great. - I thought you'd be upset. - Why? You picked me. Actually, I found you through this charming woman on TV... Well, well, well... Ha... So? Gregory just proposed to me. Do you need a Valium? I know you don't respect my opinion, but I don't trust him. I mean, where's the attraction? He's not attracted to me. He doesn't want sex. He wants to be companions. What sane person would agree to that kind of marriage? It's not natural. Are Claire and Alex natural? He wants me, Mother! I'm sure he wants you. He wants you to cook and clean for him! - He found you through an ad. - I already know, Mom. Sorry. It's not your average proposal, but let's face it. They're not standing in line for me. And we like each other! Then say yes! I can live alone. If you think such a marriage is normal, then go ahead. Why do you do that? Why do you make it sound so pathetic? You had a life. A husband who adored you. Can't I have some of that? I'm getting older, too. Why can't you be happy for me? But you can't, can you? You're scared to death of being alone. And you're jealous. Jealous because a man wants me. A good-looking man. How ridiculous! Well, you know something, Mom? A man does. Today, Gregory Larkin and Rose Morgan have exchanged rings and agreed to recognize each other as equals. They shall seek a life of kindness and understanding. The ceremony of marriage is a means of establishing a home. And as you have exchanged vows before witnesses, by the authority vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. Congratulations! She's a great... Yes. I've heard so much about you. - Likewise about you. - We all ought to... Had I known you were this good-looking, I'd have answered the ad for myself. Congratulations. She's the best. If I were a man, I'd be all over her. Congratulations. I'm sure you'll both be very fascinating to watch. Rose, isn't it amazing how many books you accumulate over the years? - I know what you mean. - I can't believe it. And the dust! This place needs a good cleaning. We'll take care of that. I made room for your books. Need any help? Everything's put in its place. - What would you like to do? - Go to bed. To sleep... In order to sleep, you go to the bed for sleeping. - Unless you want to do something else. - What? I wasn't going to say anything. Do you want the bathroom first? - No, I can wait. - No, you go. Please. Your turn. - Tired? - Not really. Me neither. These are nice. - You want to watch some TV? - Sure. I have some old movies. It Happened One Night, Lawrence of Arabia, Now, Voyager? How about Lawrence of Arabia? It's nice and long. Okay. Lawrence of Arabia it is. Just stick it in. Right. - Is it over? - Yeah. Go to sleep. Are you just looking or buying? - I'm not sure yet. - So, it seems to be going well. - Have you? - No, and it's made no difference. - I give you both a lot of credit. - Credit for what? I was just telling Henry how sex isn't an issue for us. It's much less complicated this way, not to mention sanitary. It feels so good to be writing again. I have so many ideas for the new book! It's coming so easily. I have outlines for three chapters. What a terrific idea to come here. I've never written in the park. Another one of these. Is that Barry? I think it is. Barry? - Hi. It's Rose. - How are you? This is Gloria. - This is my husband, Gregory Larkin. - Hi. This is Gloria. I heard you got married. Congratulations. Thank you. You look good, Barry. - Being engaged agrees with me. - Congratulations! - Finally, one who doesn't cancel. - Excuse me. Nice to meet you. I'm really happy for you both. - Thank you, Rose. And take care. - You, too. - Everything okay? - Yeah, everything's okay. What? Jeans and a T-shirt is a good look for you. Wear it to class sometime. - I'd love to get the scores. - I'll read the paper. I didn't tell you... A few European universities have invited me to lecture on my book. I told them, of course, that I wanted to check with you first. - Sounds great. For how long? - Three months. Three months? All right, guys, let's get going. How can baseball fascinate people? You wind up at the same place you started. This should interest you, because it's about stats and averages. When a player comes up, they flash a three-digit number, his average. How many times he hits the ball in ratio to the number of attempts. An equation such as the second derivative of the function F with respect to the variable X equals a constant. Anybody see the game yesterday? Marrakesh, what a bum, huh? Let me try putting this another way. If a batter hits a ball, how can we determine how far it will go? What variables add up to a home run, assuming the bum could hit one? The velocity of the ball? - The velocity, correct. - I have a question. Does a rising fastball really rise? I don't know. I'll have to ask my wife. I could not believe it. Suddenly, the room was filled with energy. We were exchanging ideas. We were connected somehow. They participated, they questioned, they stayed! I cannot thank you enough. I was a better teacher because of you. - Fresh pepper? - Not for her, but I'll have some. Could you bring her a side dish of dressing? She likes a little extra. I feel I should return the favors. Is there anything I can do for you? I'll have to think about that. Just glop it on. Enjoy your dinner. - You're not eating. - No, I'm watching your ritual. I just about got your sequence now, I think. You start by rotating the plate counterclockwise, cut on the diagonal, remove unwanted elements, and now comes my favorite part, the loading of the fork. It's fascinating, the percentages you use of different vegetables to create that one harmoniously balanced, perfect bite. Mmm. You have a little... Don't smear it. That might stain. You might want to put a little soap on that. I'll be right back. Mmm. I want to ask you something. - Don't stop. - I'm not a machine. We both have overwhelming feelings for each other, don't we? - You're doing great. Keep it up. - Okay. Ready? - Doesn't that music infuriate you? - Yeah, I'm livid. Rose, I came by your office today for lunch, but you weren't there. - Were you at a staff meeting? - I had lunch with Henry. Rose, he's a friend of mine, but you have to watch out for him. Believe me, I'm not his type. He has trouble controlling himself. - Oh. - What? What? What? - Did you pull something? - I think so. Right here. A little lower. Lower. Closer to the spine. There. Oh, yeah. Lean back into it. I thought you might like to meet me in Europe after your classes end. We never had a honeymoon. That's right. I would love that. - Would you? - Mmm. - Am I pressing too hard? - No, but I'm all sweaty. And I have to floss. When you've got to floss, you've got to floss. Claire, I don't know how to ask for it. We're so polite, I feel like we're roommates in a charm school. - I'm putting you on the speaker. - I'm so frustrated, Claire. Give him an "I want sex" look. He'll think something's in my eye. You have to generate heat. Sometimes, I swear he feels it. Men aren't that bright. It's easy. Be subtle, mysterious, seductive. Subtle, mysterious, seductive? Why don't men come with instructions? - More coffee? - Thanks. My tickets just arrived. My first lecture is in Paris on the 24th. I leave Saturday. - Do you want an English muffin? - No, thanks. - I'm off. I have an early class. - All right. Have a nice day. - Oh, by the way... - Mmm? Would saying now that I want sex tonight be enough of a warning? Or should we wait till you come back from Europe? Yeah, that's better. No, no... That's fine. All right. I guess I'll see you tonight. Have a nice day. - Have you ever tried making love? - It's never been about sex. I don't understand. Things were going so well. Having sex now will ruin everything. You're a very sick man. Mmm. Johnson's been around both leagues, but seems to have found a home here in the Bronx. He's leading the American league with a 2.34 ERA and 24 strikeouts. And strike three. That makes strikeout number 25 for Johnson in this young season. - I have the game on for you. - Oh. Great. - Some wine? - I'll wake up with a headache. - One glass. - All right, one glass. Same score? This is good. Sweet. I normally don't like sweet. I'm glad you like it. Do you... Would you mind terribly if we muted the TV? - What are you doing? - Nothing much. All right. Would it be all right if I sat down? - The wine made me warm. - I can fix that. - Good game? - I can't hear. That's all right. - Did I hurt you? - No, you didn't spill a drop. - I guess... - That's funny? I guess it's funny. Do you think we could turn the TV off? That's better. - We have to relax. - I agree. - How are classes? - Going well. - And your book? - The outline is actually... It's coming along. It's almost there. It's not at all what I expected. It's harder than I thought. But I'll... I'm sure that I'll get there. I want you to get there. What did you say? - Rose. - Talk to me. Oh, yes. Oh, no. Oh, God. Oh, Rose. - No, no, no. - Yes, yes, yes. I don't want to do this! I'm sorry, Rose. Oh! I have to say, Rose, I'm a little confused. A little disappointed. Everything was going so well. At least, I thought so. Didn't you? Is that the truth or some kind of female manipulation? Tell me the truth. You knew the arrangement, how I felt. Did you think that would change? Why? I hoped, though I made the offer, you'd see there was no need for it. I'd hoped that we'd gone beyond it. Did you honestly think this was the next step? What we have usually comes after all this nonsense is over. Most people never get to where we are. They try to keep the sex going. Or find another. Our relationship works, because it isn't physical. I took every precaution to make sure there was no physical attraction! Rose, I'm sorry. I've never had this with a woman before. I can share everything with you. Are you not satisfied with me? Maybe this is something we have to struggle through together. Maybe this tour is coming at a good time. Maybe we can use the distance. Don't you think? I thought we were good friends. Talk to me, Rose. Let me in. I'm sorry. Come on. Open the door. Open the door, please. Come on, Rose. What are you doing here? I just came to sleep in my own bed. Is that okay? What happened? Is it Gregory? I don't want to say I told you so, but... - Mom. - What? When I was a baby, did you think I was pretty? All babies are pretty. No, I mean me. You must have thought something about how I looked. And who will undergo such fantastic plastic surgery? Only a faceless old folk will do it King of no face, you bastard ! I hate others to cheat me by pretending as woman ! Especially disguising as such pretty woman to seduce me! Luckily Fat is so smart! He disclosed your secret Your Majesty Don`t move Don`t trust him ! He wanted to screw me so he brushed his wife off, and he even beated his wife up in front of me He isn`t a man at all ln order to trap you , my family performed a show in front of you Dear audience The best actress In this play, she acted ... ... verywellthat, no matter... judging from her eyes, or movement, she could express how a sad wife feels Especially when she threw the horse, it shows a strong protest originated from post modernism Let us see... how she threw the horse again Watch ! Watch ! Mrs. Fat, congratulation ... Thank you First of all , I have to thank my parents Since they`ve been supporting me And I have to thank my husband He gave me chance to act We had rehearsed many many times So, this award is yours too Hubby, thank you Alright, let`s present the final award of this night I believe that, you can guess it The best actor is Ah Fat... Ah Fat`s father-in-law Wonderful ! This award should go to me I did see him visiting the prostitute house! Wait I am sorry I am the leading man ! You can tell I have done a great job Why do you present the award to him? Your acting is quite good , but not mature Say, when your wife heard your heart beat, your expression was a bit exaggerated That`s the point of view of ordinary audiences! You won`t be that ignorant? No, when I heard your heart beat, I couldn`t feel any response from you I felt that, you couldn`t concentrate in acting You didn`t act well indeed You ... Be fair Just one word You don`t know acting Shut up! Gum Tso`s sex is still a doubtful question How can you ... ... presentawardshere? lt`s a mess I am a person who is willing to die for you Let me use my body, to check whether Gum Tso is a woman or not Be careful ! Ling Ling Fat, you killed my son Even I can`t kill your family, I want to kill you too Neither of you can go Protect His Majesty Fat-yan , take the Box of Treasure to me Catch it Are you kidding? Why did you ask me to throw it to you? Game over! I am sorry It doesn`t hurt! But the one next to you is in bad luck That`s No-face Stance lt can transfer energy Pal , are you alright? I am scared But I am fine I feel comfortable lt`s not painful at all So, I won`t give it a damn Let me do it Pal , didn`t you say comfortable? lt`s really comfortable Forget it You`d better beat that guy I have to think something else Forget it, please hit me lt`s not predictable No color, no face, long life to stay! l`m the supreme of the world ! Who is it? My dear sister We all rely on you ! Soul Changing Stance I feel dizzy, I can`t stand it anymore lt`s cheap! Who do you want to scare? Don`t you think such chain ... ... canlockme up ? lt`s not for locking you , it`s used to connect the lightning-rod You said , we will enjoy ourselves on a stormy night l`ll let you try a wonderful thunder storm Don`t move! Fly... Flying ... Fa... Fairy 1 , 2 , 3, 4 5 lt`s right here The thunder hit Fat So it transform his cells During the process, he gained extra power So, he can release the power of Flying Fairy At that moment, it seems that there was a flying fairy in the sky lsn`t it illusion caused by air crash , or am I drunk? Of course you are drunk So, you have drunk much more than me I am drunk everyday lt`s strange, why hasn`t Fat come to work? Brother Fat, where are you? We can`t live without you Brother Fat, where are you? Hubby, it`s so great! Your new invention let us fly freely in the sky Let us name it... Helicopter, isn`t it nice? No, this isn`t a good name Why not name it... Air air air air air O Plane? You are so smart, honey lf not, how can I be your honey? Hubby, let`s fly again So romantic! Hubby, I want to have a baby with you Alright, let`s go home and make love No way, I can`t wait Let`s do it here! ( Hitler giving speech in the distance ) ( crowd cheering ) ( speaking German ) ( crowd cheers ) Before us lies Germany, within us marches Germany, and after us comes Germany! Hitler: At the extreme, one becomes a symbol. Every man who desires adulation will recognize in me the pure manifestation of that dark part of himself. I am the perfect reflection of every man with the lust to dominate, who has some bias or prejudice-- some unsatisfied craving. Some will condemn me morally, but they cannot escape the power of my image. Their self-righteousness will dissolve, as their hearts beat with the rhythm of my essence. Even those poor souls who hate me will privately envy me, because I've fulfilled my dreams, whilst others repress their true desires. Thus, have I guaranteed my immortality. The essential Hitler has a hold over every human heart. Does that sound clichéd? Anyway, let's end this on a poetic note. Will to power. Will to form. Will to beauty. Look at the men, Goebbels. Geometry. Classic lines. Nothing is more important to me than the preservation of these images. Power. Order. Solemnity. You know what I like most? Your decision to break the formation here and here. Not only does it serve the composition, but it gives the impression of the Cross. Hmmm. The Messiah theme. Here it is. Do you think I should have walked down the aisle alone? That's an interesting question. My instinct was that a loner would be viewed - as less trustworthy. - Goebbels: Hmmm. Hitler: Better to be surrounded by faithful lieutenants. Goebbels: Yes... I think so. Those men, Goebbels, what are they thinking? A person wants to be a part of something beyond his... small self. To escape. To be lost in a historic moment. I wonder if their feet hurt. You organized the people on a whole new basis. By invoking Aryan superiority, you enabled us to transcend regional and religious rivalries, even trivial issues of gender, age, class distinctions. I created a great circulation of energy, self-replicating, self-reaffirming. My God! In the First World War, the Jews and the Bolsheviks stabbed Germany in the back. Even as German blood spilled in our just and noble cause, the enemy within sought to destroy us by treachery! The bad within must be extracted. We must protect Germany! I must save the motherland from this defilement! ( coughing ) You could never understand a man of will. The problem with you Jews is you think you know so much-- the inside of a man, this nonsense about the "id" and "superego." A man is the sum total of his acts. Success justifies all. So, what can we learn from your actions? That a man is his own creation, his own artwork. To use only reason is to close the door to the power of an idea like blood and soil. Freud: What of your inner world? I know myself completely, I know my personal myths. That is enough. With the answers to 1,000 questions, you and your kind could not begin to understand me. Only a poet could touch the edge of the Führer mystery. Where was I? Ah, I remember now. One power alone makes a great leader-- imagination, divine vision. I took those words from someone. I can't remember whom. It's good to be writing again. Film is the magician's mirror... the first art form which allows the artist to project his dreams and fantasies, into the inner life of the viewer, to reshape and capture his soul, to create a perfect reality indelibly inscribed on the minds of billions. My works of destruction and grandeur will live on. I am the artist. I am the artwork. I was Homer. I was Ulysses. I was the Odyssey. I enlisted powerful men, courageous men, to the task of fulfilling my artistic destiny. Your fairness cleanses me. To make love to you, is to make love to all of Germany. Eva: My Führer. ( Hitler whispers ) My angel. Eva: Wolfie? Eva: What? I represented the rejection of the modern. What is it, Adolf? A return to the world of Homer, in which war isn't about massive destruction, but remains first and foremost... an instrument-- ( coughs ) to enhance a hero's personal glory. Hitler: Modern art is the enfevered fantasies of an incurably sick people. The fact that nine-tenths of artistic rubbish-- literary filth, theatrical idiocy-- can be traced to the account of one people, of all the country's inhabitants can simply not be talked away. It is the plain truth. The Jewish-Christian creed, with its effeminate ethics undermines our vitality. Morality is a decay, a blemish like the Hebrew circumcision. The German people must learn to distrust reason, the dirty and degrading idea of conscience. What number was the last footnote? 28, mein Führer. Footnote 29. The Führer wrote these words for the first draft of Mein Kampf, the morning of May 2, 1924, in Landsberg Prison. In other countries, why do they keep the German title Mein Kampf, instead of translating it to... My struggle? Hitler: The sun... is uncontrollable... unforgiving. With the sun, you can't... shape and sculpt reality. I hate the sun. There is magic in enormity, my doctor-- overwhelming, like a dominant father. Yes, but... the art is in disguising the technique. Brutality must be wrapped in velvet. That is what distinguishes us from say... a thug like Stalin. Hitler: Wagner made the exorbitant demand that the stage become an hypnotic instrument under the power of the artist. I impose the same demand on Germany. History is an error to be rewritten be the visionary playwright. While Wagner brought the German myths to the operatic stage, I brought them to the world. I am the superman, the Teutonic knight on the quest for the Holy Grail. Compared to you, Wagner was a minimalist. Let's enter one more into the record. This is from April, 1935. A woman from Berlin. "My fervently adored Führer, you have a birthday, and we know only two ardent wishes: that everything in our fatherland be, now and in the future, just as you want it to be, and may God provide that you be preserved for us forever. Your loyal, E.E." Just a minute. I thought you said our count was 5,700,000. They're using the 6-million figure. ( Hitler mumbles ) Typical. A clever exaggeration. Well, all right, Goering, let's use those figures. Suits us. History likes round numbers. Now, the war total was 55 million. Out of that, the camps and death squads were responsible for only 11 or 12 million. Goering: 12. Could we say that half of those were non-Jews? were Christians, atheists and pagans. Hitler: Awkward language. What term covers Gypsies, Polish intelligentsia, Russian upper strata, prisoners of war, French and Yugoslavian partisans, political opponents? Well, should we say "gentiles"? But if 12 million were liquidated and only six million were Jews-- or is it 5.7? Why can't I get accurate figures? ! Where's Himmler? ! I would stand behind this wording. Almost half the dead were from the Christian world. ( Hitler mutters ) Yes. And yet the Jews take their removal so personally. ( Goering laughs ) What strikes me is that little notice is taken of the fact that the first biological cleansing eliminated German nationals-- the disabled, the retarded, - the mentally ill-- - And the bedwetters. The useless eaters. Commenced the 1st of September, 1939. Actually, mein Führer, it was October 1st. You backdated the decree one month to correspond with the first day of the war. - Tidier. - Yes. - War for living space. - Yes. - War for race purification. - Yes. - All began on the same day. - Yes. Yes. Yes. From Latvia to Lithuania, from Estonia to Slovakia, from Russia, from Poland to the Ukraine-- wherever we found them. 250,000 blonde-haired, blue-eyed nuggets... harvested for the Third Reich. Nordic nuggets, to lighten up the dark Bavarians. They took children from their parents? They were misplaced Germans. We brought them home. ( rhythmical resounding sound ) Eva: Look at you, posing for my camera, as if you didn't know I was there. Hitler: Do I look more mysterious in a hat? ( Eva giggles ) Eva: Why did you never wear an official army - SA or SS uniform? - Better to remain undefined. Suggestive indefiniteness. There are so few public pictures of you smiling. There were none before I was chancellor-- nor any with children or small animals. The holiday in Iceland was a joyous time for my sisters and me. You should have come with us. You were always inspired by the Viking sagas. The only flaw in the trip was a delay before we departed from Hamburg. I had no time for holiday trips. The police came just before we were to leave. A family was removed from the ship. - l'll never forget the cries-- - Quiet! Never mention that again! ( softly ) Look. Did you like me better when I was blonde, with baby-fat? Or later when I was brunette and thin? I liked you when you were blonde and thin. Hitler: ...fulfillment of a mysterious longing. My need to control will fill others' need to be controlled. That was my euphoric discovery: the union of my urges with the German people's desires! If you unite a powerful people, whose first duty is obedience, you can do anything. ( whispers ) God... I love to order. Every woman a potential source of solace, warmth, love. Every man, a rival. Hitler: "l am the German spirit. Consider the incomparable magic of my works..." Did you write that? "...the incomparable magic of my works." It's Wagner. "Man is a beast of prey, developing through constant progress. The beast conquers, founds great realms by the subjugation of other subjugators, forms states and organizes civilizations, in order to enjoy his booty in peace. Attack and defense, suffering and struggle, domination and servitude." Are those Wagner's words? We were both illusionists and showmen. I made my life so different, so vibrant, so extreme. That was how... I accumulated power. I wrapped iron and blood in a cloud of mystic communion with the German Volk. Whoever wants to understand Hitler, must first learn Wagner. Write this! Fire. Fire fascinates Hitler. It consumes without accepting or rejecting. Hitler: Read the last sentence back to me. Typist: "We made the sound so overwhelming, the attitude so certain, the level of force so high, the spectacle so grand, that no one could see anything at the center but the symbolism." Yes. Good. The symbolism at the center. Like the sun, nobody could look at me without the pain and punishment of blindness. Number two! The receptivity of the masses is unlimited, yet their understanding is feeble. They quickly forget. Three! The masses tell each other small lies. It could never come into their heads to create colossal tales. Thus, bold myths work best. Four. Effective propaganda must be confined to stereotypes. Always focus people's attention on a single foe. To have multiple enemies confuses people. My genius was the combining of two enemies-- Jews and Marxism-- into one. Jewish Marxism... the synthesis that was the key to my success. Weave this in: Crude simplifications endlessly repeated will influence the supple. Goebbel's realm. For the non-supple, the stubborn... terror is necessary-- Himmler's responsibility. When I was a small boy in Linz, I frequently played alone. I would walk to the top of the hill overlooking the city. In dark solitude, I imagined I had absolute command of those heights and all the lands below. Only the trees on the hillside heard my cry. Heil Hitler! ( under his breath ) Heil Hitler. Those private moments stayed with me through the darkest days. The tragedy of every charismatic leader is to be imprisoned by his fate. His triumphs are finite, his needs... infinite. ( stringed instruments plays ) ( choir sings ) - ( choir fades ) - ( overlapping whispers ) This was to have been built... for you. Hitler: What will they think of us? History... those who study our lives? Will we be judged by what we say, by our deeds, by the monuments and images we leave behind... or... by something else? Something... we can't control? Eva: They adored you. They were stupefied by the Führer cult... so hungry for me, as if I could fill their emptiness. By feeding them hope, you stimulated their craving. Yes... the desire to be the desired object. Eva: For women, you were the ideal lover, - the perfect father. - Hitler: Fleeting. The thrill quickly loses its impact. You were the one thing... that brought me peace. I told you to destroy that footage! Hitler: When I was homeless during a cold Vienna winter, a Jewish art dealer gave me an overcoat. I even had a Jewish friend at the men's shelter with whom I spent many pleasant afternoons. Maybe, there would have been an advantage in not exterminating the Jews. Well, for a long time, we considered a territorial solution. We would put them in reservations or ship them to... Madagascar. In fact, we encouraged mass emigration. Eichmann's assignment during the '30s was to find places to move them to. But... few countries would take more than a handful. Someone even proposed... a mass sterilization plan. An ugly necessity. In every society, there are pent up hatreds. For example, in the United States it's against the blacks; in Russia, the successful. A politician must mobilize these hatreds. Reason must be trained to think in historical dimensions. Get out! Get out! You'll get nothing from me! No mercy! Tell them Hitler has ice in his veins! Ice! I'm the greatest actor in Europe. I am... the greatest actor in Europe. Hitler: What a thrill to play the Führer-- for 12 years, the supreme Father figure. On to surpass even Lord Grimm. They made me "Man of the Year." They made you what? Time Magazine, they made me "Man of the Year." I was on the cover for six issues. I conquered Poland, Norway, Denmark, France. Americans love a winner. Of course, it doesn't mean a thing. They made Roosevelt "Man of the Year" three times! And he was a cripple. Goebbels: Look at Himmler. Hitler: You're not exactly Clark Gable yourself, my little doctor. Himmler looks like a weasel. Goebbels: Making our enemies look bad was often easier than making us-- Hitler: The perfect Aryan Superman. A weak stomach in the presence of violence. Woo! Heinrich Himmler. Didn't anyone notice? He was ruthless, but not careless. And Hitler-loyal. Who better to run the SS? Art must be plausible. If you wrote a script about Aryan superiority and cast Himmler, people would laugh, walk out of the theatre. On the political stage, you can do anything. Let's put up another reel. Images to blur facts. Hitler: In World War I, I was a messenger. I never killed anyone. I am a vegetarian. I never eat dead animals. I loathe big game hunters-- a gruesome bloodbath. I would not allow smoking in my presence. We discouraged tobacco consumption. I insisted on the humane treatment of pets and farm animals. I even issued a decree regulating the cooking of lobsters to minimize their suffering. I reduced chemicals in fruits and vegetables. The SS planted organic gardens. I am not a brutal man by nature. I am not a brutal man by nature. I am not a brutal man by nature. I'm not a brutal man by nature. I am not a brutal man. Hitler: Only a charismatic leader could heal the wounds of the great war inflicted on us by the November criminals. Hitler's charisma was as much created by the German masses as it was imposed upon them. In peacetime, stability and routine undermine charisma. In wartime, the great threat is defeat. It was the failure of the will of the German people that fatally undermined my charisma! You take... an ordinary man, dress him in a uniform... and that man... will commit acts he never before... imagined. You can turn a runny-nosed, bedwetter... into a ruthless warrior. If I'd stopped with the conquest of France, I would have gone down in history as the greatest conqueror since Alexander The Great. No! No, no. "Greatest military genius in history." Wait-- what do you think? Well, no... Ah... here it is. "Greatest empire since Caesar." That-- that's it. Let's make it... lf l had stopped with the conquest of France, I would have built the greatest sustained empire since Caesar Augustus. What I hated most about the war was fighting the English. The fair Brits... our racial brothers, our natural allies-- Saxons. Anglos. The very word means angels, doesn't it? Eva: Mmm... lt's a tranquil image. All the Germanic peoples coming together. The traitor Churchill... never told his countrymen that I offered an alliance, a union of racial brothers... and protection of the British Empire. Eva: Wolfie? Wolfie? In a different era, parts of me that were compassionate and sensitive might have developed but, in my era, there were forces and attractions that led me to become the founder and perfect leader of the new religion. Think of Volk and Reich! Our great nation! We prefer the spoken to the written word. More so, symbols to any kind of words. And above all, pageantry, spectacle, and music. People thought I choreographed the Nuremberg Rally to make the film "Triumph of the Will." The critics lack the imagination to see that I orchestrated World War ll, for the same reasons... the invasion of countries. Mobilization of millions of extras to produce the most magnificent and historic film footage, footage delivered nightly from the front by courier for my personal review. So, my sons and daughters, take guidance from the arts... to write a bestseller or to stir a nation! Simplify. Your hero must have no fears and you villain no need of affection. The fair maiden must be blonde, and the villain must wear dark clothing and a mustache. Life is ambiguous. None of us can stand ambiguity. Me, least of all. If you told the truth, both the teller and the listener would go insane. Tell me. For you, what redeems life? The purely artistic. Read Nietzsche. But what of the spiritual dimension? To be a creative artist, one inevitably walks the spiritual path. In fact, they are the same path. Hmm. Good. Good. But, there is so much more to understand, Adolf. - So many died-- - Stop! Conscience is the Jewish invention. For us National Socialists, action follows thought as quickly as... thunder follows lightning. Hitler: Let's finish this section. Typist: "Enigma, carefully manipulated enhances one's power and fame." Hitler: Make that, "Fame, power and immortality." Obfuscation keeps people guessing-- the little feints, the ambiguities, contradictions... ln my first four years, as head of the Nazi party, I forbade photos to be taken of me. To my surprise, the efforts to keep these things hidden created a cloak of enigma. People want to know. They talk. They were kept on edge. Yeah, better delete that last section. Typist: You mean, starting with the line - "obfuscations"? - No, no. From "There were things about me that I was not comfortable with." The horrors of the First World War, the turmoil of the post-war years. By the 1930s, Germany was an abused child. From her wounds, grew... National Socialism, "the great healer." "The great healer." I can remember the first time I spoke publicly. In 1919. Or was it 1920? Crowd of veterans... disheartened, broken men who'd spent four agonized years in the trenches, only to return unappreciated. Civilians could never know. They were moved by my words, my fervor. I could speak. I remember... one young man in a wheelchair who'd lost his legs-- there was an ecstasy on his face. I knew joy. I had the power to heal the sick. As with Wagner's music, people could lose themselves in the totality of my voice. One must be cautious, Adolf. All people want to be gods. Unfortunately, some do not recognize the impossibility of it. You're wrong. Every man has God within him. Fortunately, most people don't recognize this. There is no essence beneath appearance, only a series of appearances, each rising out of the one before and giving birth to the next. I merely fulfilled the plans and programs of my original sponsors. Cruelty is impressive. Buildings as the very expression of tyranny. Appearance verses reality is the central issue of all art. Political uses of the account sciences. Anxiety is institutionalized. To downplay the internal differences, we focused on the external differences. Those of us with German blood versus Jews, Slavs, Gypsies-- So, if a man from the lower middle class, born outside Germany, lacking noble ancestry, a high school dropout perhaps, he would henceforth feel included, not excluded? Exactly. What about what we did to the German mentally ill, the retarded? - They're German heritage. - And the homosexuals. National Socialism was not a political party, but a-- a sacred crusade against all those inimicable to the pure Nordic super-race. Holy duty for all those with Germanic blood in their veins. "Nordic super-race." The movement was founded on the idea of an Arian super-race. After you secured power, you narrowed the ideal. You forbade SS men from marrying German women who weren't blonde. How is this explained? Watch how I use my nervous energy to subdue and control the crowd. Everything I do here is entirely calculated. The crowd is a hesitant female. Their bodies and souls await... penetration. Two solid hours. I grant it. Goering despises me for it. That I have this power also astonishes me. Only twice in my life have I been afflicted by weakness: At the death of my mother, and at the betrayal of my motherland. When I was growing up, Germany was always referred to as the fatherland. When you assume absolute rule, a beast climbs onto the throne with you. Every philosopher, politician, poet, composer, general, each will be viewed in the light of my legacy. They are precursors, threads woven into the tapestry of the Hitler hero. For generations, all of German history will be viewed through the lens ground by the accomplishments of the era of Adolf Hitler. ( sighs ) Crowd: Hitler! My tombstone should bear the inscription, "He was the victim of his generals." Invincible Luftwaffe commanded by the great General Goering, humiliated by the British Air Force, a swarm of mosquitoes! What about Dunkirk? Their army was cornered, but you let them escape. You may look Nordic, but you lack Nordic spirit. It's a law of nature. A man must put others down to feel good about himself. Hmm. Czechs, Croats, Slavs-- Austria was like a broken-down old man, an illegitimate marriage with Hungary, an empire rotten to the core. Only the mating of Austria with Germany could save her. So, you explain the world by using the symbolism of ethnic conflict? Well, race is everything. Upon the ancient foundation of race, I forged religions, science, magic, and politics into a single world view. is it possible your enemy lies not without, but within? You perpetuate a bourgeois existence which offers no salvation. The aim of my work is to help people escape their inner prisons-- My mythology captured people's imagination. And more profoundly, the roots of National Socialism are hidden in secret places. They are beyond your grasp. Hitler: According to the universal laws of nature, the soil belongs to those who conquer it. We must purge our people of their softness and sentimental philistinism. On this point, I am ice cold. All life is paid for in blood. I crush the skulls of my enemy. I made the dead winds blow. The soul and the mind migrate, just as the body returns to nature. Freud: What do you mean when you say, "erotic affinity with death"? Unspeakable desperation... anxiety. A hungry wolf, out to kill, eat and survive. But I could sit calmly at a party rally and then get up and speak. That was the true triumph of my will. Run along, my little golden Nordic nuggets. ( growls ) When one's personal and political mythology is threatened, one must take steps to affirm it! Blood and race, the only true source of artistic inspiration. Art is a sacred mission, which requires the artist to be a fanatic. Hold still! Hold still! Hitler: Stripped of grandeur, exposed nerve endings-- a tender fetus poked unmercifully by a sharp metal rod. Sometimes it feels as if my body has been partially cut out, never grown. On unbearably hot days when I would sweat, the footage not only had to be edited out, but physically eradicated. The original footage, the original reality, the truth, is now lost to them forever. The future führers must understand, no matter how carefully you plan or execute your production, you can never get it exactly right. But with editing, a black magic... I have edited the imagination of people not yet born. Flawless speeches, unflappable will, 100,000 cheering citizens, women in tears, and an assailable fall thundering from the tower. In a way, the outtakes, the flaws, these were like the Jews. I never thought of it like that. A prophet. A fighter. The last hope of the masses. The shining symbol of Germany's will to freedom. All your propaganda! With utmost respect, mein Führer, you created the Führer role. You were the director. I only helped to stage it. My God, Goebbels, it became a terrible strain. Future generations, mein Führer, will pay exorbitant sums for your paintings, your letters, your pistol, if only to feel your presence in them. I was a victim of Nazi propaganda. The Invincible Führer. No! No. Historians will study your childhood, examine your relationships, the dark secrets. It warped my judgment. They will exaggerate your slightest scribbles into important, irrefutable clues. You will be the source of endless fascination. Perhaps. I am seeing universities all over the world with their courses-- "Hitler, Architecture, and Politics." "Hitler. Salvation and Human Evolution." What about "Hitler, Wagner and Voyeurism"? And then there will be artists, too, all striving for comprehension. Careers devoured, trying to bridge the distance. There's my 1,000-year Reich. We gave them all much to brood over, didn't we, Joseph? Hitler: We were each islands of strength and will surrounded by great muttonherds of sheep-like followers. Stalin, you little babushka, you were going to invade me, but I invaded you first. We knew that liberty, equality, and democracy are the grandest nonsense. But war is the most simple affirmation of life. But I do not admire him. Envy? Stalin? Paah! A footnote. A footnote if he's fortunate. Stalin killed millions of his own people, but he killed without grace. He ruled by fear. I ruled by passion, and ecstasy! Stalin had no sense of form. Yes, he got people's attention, but with force and random brutality. He's a barbarian of genius. So what! He offered nothing to hypnotize or transform his people. Where is the drama in slaughtering well-to-do farmers? Stalin misunderstood the principals of opera. Disciplined spontaneity. We stove for the most extreme intensification of possibilities. We elevated passion above reason. We rescued the German people from their drab, predictable lives. We gave them a sense of heroic belonging, a vision of victorious triumph over evil. A man will do anything, as long as you take him step by step. Break a shop window. Rough up a labor leader. Turn a neighborhood into a ghetto. Shoot a man. Eliminate. Erase. If you asked a civilized people to take this last step first... it would be impossible. No! Give me that. Let's start again. Only as each order was obeyed with absolute fidelity, did I recognize the possibilities. My mind leapt ahead to the most extreme, fantastic scenarios. But my advice is, go slow. Take small steps. A desire fulfilled must be followed by a somewhat larger request, a slightly greater brutality. Let the momentum build. To my astonishment, I found I could experience the sensation of absolute power. The whole system functioned to obey my commands. Each member of the armed forces swore obedience, unconditionally, to me. The nation celebrated my birthday. Every German schoolboy pledged: "l swear to devote all my energies, my strength to the savior of our country, Adolf Hitler. I am ready and willing to lay down my life for him so help me God. One Volk, one Reich, one Führer." A mere flicker of my imagination could be transformed into a giant deed. Sketch a museum, it is built. Envision new living space, a country is invaded. When a hatred matures, this group or that group is eliminated. For others it becomes, "This is my job. I will complete this on time. I will perform with excellence. I am in charge of this. My aim in life is..." ( mumbles ) Blah-- blah-- blah... No matter how harsh, extreme, or murderous... the resulting... reality. One can write new commandments. "Thou shalt kill." No, no. I've never killed a single person with my own hands. My whole life was dedicated to fighting for schemas plotted to take over the world. Hence the need to cleanse our nation! Germany had to be pure. With our purified Germanic nation, why did we fare so poorly in World War ll? During the First World War, Germany was never invaded. Yet, by the end of the Second, we were overrun by foreign armies. We had the will to fight on. We could have won! Our cities and towns were bombed into rubble. Millions of German women were raped by invading Russian soldiers. Over five million Germans had been killed. The German officer corps turned out to be a pack of mutineers and cowards! ( Hitler growls ) I don't give a damn about troop strength! You are a general in the army of the Third Reich, a German officer, an instrument of conquest... invincible! If you even mention retreat, you're a traitor, a coward, a Jew! ( coughing ) ( with strained voice ) Retreat is unacceptable! Losses can never be too heavy! Only vitality guarantees success! I am a man who knows only one thing! Strike! Strike! And strike again! The first time, mein Führer, I heard you speak, you looked at me. Your blue eyes met my glance, like a flame. This was a command. At that moment, I was reborn. I knew which road to take. At last... an epic worth writing. But only you, a failed playwright, to write it. And you, a failed artist to act it. The grander your grandiosity, the more brutal and grotesque. The propaganda had to be the height of ruth! Because it doesn't matter if an idea is true or false, as long as it serves my purposes. But members of your family suffered from mental illness. Didn't you fear insanity? I wasn't put in a lunatic asylum. I created a lunatic asylum. The war would never have started if it wasn't for the Jews... and their puppet Churchill. ( mimics Churchill ) We will fight them on the landing strips. We will fight them on the beaches. We will fight them wherever the enemy invaded us. I dealt with pain by causing pain. No! Cross that out! It's a ridiculous notion, that personal pain causes one man to injure another. To protect Germany, an act of self-defense. To guarantee my singular place in history. To punish the German nation for undermining my charisma. To take their breath away. The broad, sweeping historical gesture. As the gleam of conquest faded, the SS needed a new mission to sustain vitality. To brand the German people with this crime for all time. My final enigmatic act, my postwar surprise to the world. Freud's voice: What about your fear of being one quarter Jewish? Where does that fit in? ( distorted scream ) Hitler: What drives a leader beyond his destiny? Answer me. Answer me! Germany needs free men who feel and know that Wotan is within them, in their own destiny, in their own blood. One is either a German or a Christian. We cannot be both! We will tear out Christianity root and branch, annihilate it. Are you afraid the Christian way of life would lead to the dissolution - of masculine vitality? - Bolshevik hogwash! What are you looking at? Perhaps shame leads to concealment. Freud's voice: Your search for perfection... the untainted. Germany is not worthy of me! ( Eva gasps ) Russia... Russia was my abyss. ( sighs ) The dark valley of that defeat in 1941 was unbearable. Like Napoleon, death in the snow. Since 1933, an unbroken chain of political, economic and military conquests-- waves of adulation-- l was unstoppable! But then... Russia-- invincibility undone, the circle of my perfection crushed under the boots of Slavs, no less. Stalinites! The Führer Myth... shattered. A quarter million of my young soldiers slaughtered in the snow. My most humiliating experience. I was naked before the German people... the world. And then, I had to continue with my role to take the stage again. Only my will allowed me to remain in character. A childhood nightmare returned-- running home naked from school in the snow, hiding behind bushes, trying to avoid being seen, to avoid ridicule, exposure. I pondered the many options. Calling a world conference for peace. I could be "The Great Peacemaker," voluntarily withdrawing to our own borders. We would keep only... Austria. I considered retiring, going back to my painting. I longed to paint, to create, to build. I should have been an architect. Has a great ruler ever simply disappeared from the public stage, changed his identity? "Let someone else play Hitler," l thought, "Give someone else the role!" But the stain of defeat would not fade. And then... it came to me. Slowly at first, like a-- a blossom on tree in spring. What I could do next. ( nervous breathing ) An old image-- a primal hatred, crystallized. The answer. It obsessed me and lifted my spirits. A new plan for these terrible times. It was the one thought, the one idea, that brought me peace enough to sleep. I could... systematically and completely destroy all the Jews. If my role as great conqueror had ended, a new part beckoned-- "The Great Destroyer." I would be the architect of the greatest catastrophe of all time. That's how I would be remembered, gain my immortality. Destroy all Jews. My God... this is powerful writing. Like a blossom on a tree in spring. Add this note. "The seeds of this obsession were sowed long ago and now sprang forth from the black soil of war." ( under his breath ) Or should I say, "the black soil of defeat." Isn't defeat what you mean? Wait a minute. Something's out of order. Before the defeats-- l'm trying to remember... The SS death squads eliminated hundreds and thousands of Jews and communists in the course of the invasion of Russia. Well, of course that was mostly a military security operation issue. It was so long ago! So much has happened! I declared war on the United States on the 11th of December, one week after the first setbacks in Russia. I was desperate to transcend the agony. To appear strong! Maybe I need to say, uh... "Men may see my actions as atrocities of epic proportion, I saw them as a way to relieve tension." Or maybe we should say, um... "ln a mere fortnight, I sealed Germany's military and moral fate." Or... I... Let's just leave it the way it is. I devoured past and future. I devoured! I fused the symbolic with the real. ( screams ) I exuded spiritual terror! Ridicule. Exposure. The stain of defeat. Burst! Tainted. Hitler: We were stuck in a mutually reciprocal dream play-- figures twirling with no ground, images with no object. A mass hallucination. That a people would give all power, turn their lives and wills over to a single man... it's insane. ( projector clicks ) My youth was an emptiness, a black mirror laced with panic. As Führer, my mirror filled with my image... but the glow was brief. And when the brightness fades at twilight, the brutality has begun. Finally, when the beast is spent, the black night returns. The only remedy is to lash out. Ever so slightly the fog lifts. It doesn't go away, but it is tolerable. ( insane cries ) ( screaming ) No one questioned me. Further and further down down the path, no one said stop. The whole apparatus said, "Yes. Go on." Repeating cycles of affirmation. Echo! ( softly ) Echo. It was all so abstract-- living space, the racial theories, aesthetics. I never touched the suffering. I kept it so distant. ( blasting effect ) ( screams ) ( screams ) All this madness... the destruction... the human suffering... I, too, was trapped in the whirlwind we created-- an empty mirror filled with hate. I expected God to reach down and stop me but He never did. Please... please say something. Please help me. So I said to her, "hey mom your birthday was last month, hoist it up yourself". I don't get it, what are they laughing at? Anyway, I'm not saying my mom is overweight, she's got that flabby skin under her arm. You know what I'm talking about. Well, the other day this wind picks up, this stuff starts jiggling out dropped a tricycle I lost when I was seven. Excuse me. Perhaps you can help me out. Those things you said about your mother, I don't understand why they're considered funny. Well, um.. - Is it because the toned arms that once cradled you securely now have large deposits of cellulite hanging from them? Is aging funny? - If you think about it.. And you, is it all the alcohol you're consuming that makes it okay to laugh at the expense of your loved ones? He's right! I love my fat mama! And you're a bad man! Dr. Albright, have you ever lost a tricycle in your mother? Please Dick, I am in a cruddy mood. This fundraiser is turning out to be a nightmare. Well, why are you laughing? You just said you were in a cruddy mood. Oh, it's these jokes Ben Littmeyer gave me at lunch. Ben Littmeyer, from the sociology department? Yes, oh he has the best sense of humour. I finally convinced him to host the fundraiser. Well, why didn't you ask me to do it? I have a wonderful sense of humour. Nina, come in here. I have a wonderful sense of humour, don't I? Ohhh. See? - Oh! This is an important fundraiser for Pendleton, and Ben can get those fat cats to cough up some cash. Well I can make a fat cat cough. I can even make him vomit. Thanks Dick, but Ben already said yes. You don't think I'm funny? Oh Dick, you're loving, and intelligent, and sexy.. and funny? - Oh! I have a class! I am funny! I am funny! I am! What happened to your coat? I don't know what happened to it, so Mrs. Dubcek let me borrow this one. Sweet woman. So you lost your coat? Oh tough break. I lost more than a coat, Tommy! I lost a friend, a buddy, a companion, who kept me warm when it was cold and warmer when it was really sort of too hot to be wearing a coat. Tommy, look, you're the information officer. What do you know about this thing they call a sense of humour? All I know is, that's not it. Lieutenant, I need your help. I need you to find out what's funny. Oh I can't, I've got to build this.. I ran out of room for my shoes. Well this is more important, it's about me! Well how am I supposed to know what's funny? What's so important about a sense of humour anyway? Oh come on Tommy. Having a sense of humor is having the power, to transform someone's mood, to lift his spirit. You give it to someone you love when she really needs it. And I just found out today, that Marys been getting it from another man. Dick, I think this whole being funny thing is just innate. What do you think, lieutenant? - What do I think? I think either you got it or you don't. Look what you just did! What's wrong with you guys? Come on! Wake up you two, come on! How am I ever gonna find out what's funny? No I don't get it. Give me an example of what's funny. Okay let's see. I thought the movie Emma was really funny. What was funny about it? Didn't you get it? It was full of irony. Okay, so irony's funny. Sure, because someone says something, and the opposite is actually true. Oh okay, like when you told me Emma was gonna be a really great movie, when actually it sucked out loud? Well, apparently, irony is a little too sophisticated for you. Either that or you don't know what's funny either. I... don't know what's funny? I'll have you know, at camp, I was voted "Miss Whimsy". Why, was Miss Irony killed in a canoe accident? Hi, Dick. - Oh, uh, Mary. Just doing some reading. Some physics reading, you know. Okay. Say, uh, an amusing joke just came to me you know, out of the blue. Knock, knock. Okay. Who's there? Who's there you say? Nina! Nina who? Ah Nina, she's right here! Please let me host that fundraiser! No! - Oh! Ben Littmeyer just called, he's gonna be a few minutes late for lunch. Oh, another lunch with Ben. I see. How funny for you. Well, would you like to join us, we could make it a threesome? I don't go that way Mary. Fine! And last but not least, garlic gum. Oh, uh, Harry, how would you like a nice piece of perfectly ordinary gum? Okay. Mmm, garlicky. Well, I had a great day. I haven't learned a thing about comedy, and August and I had a huge fight. Oh well, how would you like a nice doughnut? from this bag labeled "donuts". Ahh! You touched doggy doody! Since when is doggy doody made in Taiwan? They have dogs in Taiwan.. big ones. Funny, right? - I don't know. You know, I don't think I'm ever gonna see my coat again. Okay, Harry, why don't you sit down, you'll feel a lot better? Right here. Excuse me. Damn! You know, at least I can take comfort in knowing that I treated my coat well. Such as yesterday. It was hot on the bus. I took it off and folded it neatly and placed it under the shade of my seat. What? You left it on the bus. No-o-o! You know they have a lost and found Harry. Oh you mean I might see my coat again? Oh I am so happy. Dick, I've been thinking about this "humour" thing. Why don't you try what those guys on TV do? Everybody says they're funny? - Oh, yeah, those guys! You know.. The McLaughlin group? No. They're not funny at all! Oh, hello Dick. - Hello Ben. I'm waiting for Mary. I'm sleeping with Mary. Oh. Okay. So from what I've heard, you're quite the professor funnypants. Well, I.. - It's seems that you have Mary wrapped around your little funny bone. But I can assure you, I am a far tougher... bone wrapperer I think I'll wait outside. Make me laugh funny man. Well, I'm not a comedian. It's just that funny things, just seem to happen to me. Oh really, like what? Well, like last week, I was at a bus stop, and it suddenly started raining, pouring. And I look over and I see this gorgeous grad student, and she's looking at me, like a kid with braces, looking at a candy apple. Mmm, no, not funny. Well, I'm about to say hello, when I suddenly realize, that my hair has flipped forward. Here I am standing in the rain, with my very own awning. Well, finally the bus arrived, and the door opened, the compressor kicked in, and this, this, European weave of mine got sucked right into the bus! Well, there I was, in front of this beautiful girl, and chasing that bus, and chasing my hair.. up and down, chasing! And I couldn't.. I just.. oh! Oh! Oh! This is not good. Yes, Yes, it is! The bus stole your hair! Call 911! 911! Mary was so right about you Ben! What's going on? Ben's been telling me the funniest story, about the bus, and the girl, and the.. Call 911! You've heard this one before! I'm telling you, Ben's heart stopping temporarily was the best thing that ever happened to me. He's getting some much-needed bed rest, and I'm emceeing the fundraiser tomorrow night. How did you manage that? I promised Dr. Albright I'd stick to Ben's script. Are you gonna? - No. All right, next up on open- mike night, very funny man, put your hands together for Dick Solomon. Thank you! Thank you! Thanks a lot! Thank you so much! Now, I'm gonna tell you some jokes. Joke one: I went fishing last week. My permit said I could only catch five. Oh, I caught five, all right, as in 35. Was that funny? - No, no, no, no, no, no. But you know.. pot-stickers, what are they all about? Haa-haa! Okay, joke number two: Some termites.. I mean, huge termites.. ate my house last night. Uh, it's gone. It's completely gone. That's it. That's the joke. Really suck. - Really. Where are you going? Wait. Wait. Where are you going? Hey, look! A bald guy. Am I right? Haa-haa! So, who do you think's funny in our class? Um, Alan Gimball. Alan Gimball? Why? - 'Cause he's 20. Oh, so.. so you think dumb people are funny? If they're that dumb, yeah. You know who I think is funny? David Barrett. Oh, yeah, he's hysterical. - He is so clever. I meant because he looks like a big dork. What? All right, let's install this baby. - Sweet! Did you measure the shelves? - Yes. Did you measure the closet? - Yes. Did you measure the door? - Damn! Listen, if it's storage you're after, you can put it in the hall closet downstairs. Let me go and get the door for you. All right,here, keep it sideways. Uh, Dubcek, hold it. - What? I got it, I got it, no problem, no problem Hello? Yeah just a second. Harry, for you. Hello. Wrong number. She took it down herself. Ah, it's all right. You had the guts to get up there, you know? It takes time. I have to be funny by tomorrow night! You're not gonna make it. I don't know what to do! Well, don't over-think it, you know, just, talk about things you know. That's what I do. Yeah. You make fun of your poor mother's flabby arms. Hey, those flabby-arm jokes made her the most popular senior in Fort Meyers, Florida. You.. you mean, she doesn't hate you for it? Hate me? No. She loves me for it. It's a joke. You mean, tricycles don't really fall out of her arms? Uh, no. Oh my god! Of course they don't! I mean, just think how flabby her arms would have to be for a tricycle to be up in there, and for so many years. And she didn't even notice it, not even when she took a shower. That's hysterical. I get it. I get the joke! Thank you! Thank you so much! This should be fun. Um, I'd like to welcome you all here tonight. Before we go any further, I think that we should all acknowledge the sensational job, that my esteemed colleague, Dr. Mary Albright has done in organizing this truly worthwhile event. Dr. Albright. Don't you love Dr. Albright? I know I do. Now, I know many of you are wondering, what's with her long sleeves? Well, I'll tell you. It's to cover up her flabby arms. She shook them the other day, and the dead sea scrolls fell out. She's, uh.. she's quite old also, you see. But you know, as sweet and wonderful, as Dr. Albright is, she can also be somewhat domineering, power-hungry and hostile, and I think I finally figured out why. Dr. Albright, while you may not have a man's genitalia, at least you have his razor stubble. Oh, oh, oh! Oh! And there's Nina. Nina is Dr. Albright's assistant. Nina, stand up, stand up. Come on, stand up. Show everybody how you put the "Ass" in "Assistant". I left my coat on the bus. - Can you describe it? Yes, it had eight wheels, hard plastic seats, and when it stopped, it went, "sh-h-h-h" Harry, he means the coat. - Oh, oh! Um, well, it kind of looked like this one, only it was furry.. don't have it. Next. Night Eddie. - See you Monday. He's got my coat. - Harry, be a man. Hey, Mister, that's my coat. No it isn't. - Yeah, that's his coat. If it's his coat, how come I'm wearing it? Good point. Hey babes. Good morning Dick, did you sleep well? Once the adrenaline wore off, like a baby. You know when you've been riding the bullet train to "yuk-ville", it's kind of hard to slow down. I've been up all night faxing jokes to Leno. What have we here? Eleven banana cream pies! One for every letter in my name. Am I right? Right. Oh girls. You shouldn't have. Oh, we had to. Really. You were so funny last night. - Ohh. I was wondering if you could help us out? Oh I'd be delighted to share my... comedic expertise. We who are clowns are known for our generosity. Maybe you can help us settle an argument we were having. Shoot. What's funnier? This... or this? Or... is two at once funny? How about... this? Is this funny? I think... this. You are so right! That is funny! Thank you so much for helping us. I'm glad I could be of service. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a class to teach. You know, it's a remarkable feeling to be able to make someone else laugh. It's almost as if you have the power to get inside their brain, and tickle it. I can do that with a chopstick. Imagine how different war would be, if instead of trying to kill each other, people just showed up armed with jokes. But you could still have guns, right? Because, you know, eventually you'd stop laughing, and want to get on with the killing. You know what I found out? Humour's subjective. What do you mean? Well, I thought the fact that no one was laughing at you at the comedy club was hysterical. Oh, I loved that. No no. No, that wasn't funny. See? - Which is also ironic. You were at a comedy club, and no one was laughing. Hey shut up all of you! Well I think I'm gonna take my furry little friend for a walk. He's been locked in the basement all week. You know, why do they call it a "fur coat" anyway? It's not made of fur, and it's not a coat. Uh, actually Harry, it's both those things. It was a joke. Ohh! Good night everybody. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick Nickelodeon. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Give it, give it Yeah, yeah Whoo, yeah, yeah It's Harriet the spy Spies look at the eye Now there she go like looking at Say why, hi, my, my, my, my, my, my, my Dig it, dig it, yeah There she, there she go, go, go There she go now Look at the spy Hey, watch her, watch her, watch her She's a spy, my, my Dig it, dig it Oh, yeah She's lookin' in your eye, eye Why? I don't know Whoa, yeah. Boy with ringlets. Man with tattoos. Girl on... a leash? Man, if my parents ever tried putting me in one of those things, I'd trade them in. This kid looks like she can roll over and fetch. I learn everything I can and I write down everything I see. Golly says if I want to be a writer then I'd better start now. Which is why I am a spy. Lady with a purse. Man with... her wallet. Oh, help! Please! Stop him! Stop him! Quack Quack, quack Quack Quack, quack And... done. What is it? It's Nanomichi. You know, the god of storm and thunder. - Cool, huh? - Okay, come on, hurry up before it dries. - Yeah. - Yeah. Okay, ready? Here, give me your foot. The secret tattoo. My best friends Sport, Janie and I thought we should be blood buddies. But this was so much less painful. Just remember the rule. If anyone sees the secret tattoo swift and painful death. It's... starting. Here comes... nice Marion Hawthorne. It's happening. I can feel it happening. Good Lord. It's the dreaded Hawthorne effect. Oh. Good morning, Janie, Simon... and Harriet. Harri... et! I got to get to class. See ya. See you guys in a few. Sixth grade. All the usual suspects are back in action. First of all there's Rachel Hennessy, Marion's second in command. The only thing more pathetic than being Marion Hawthorne is wanting to be Marion Hawthorne. Pinky Whitehead, the human fish belly. If Janie's theory is right, then Pinky's DNA was combined with a pint of vanilla yogurt at birth. Carrie Andrews thinks she's cool... 'cause she spent her summer vacation growing boobs. Laura Peters looks like someone pinched her face and it stuck that way. The boy with purple socks. A man of mystery. He never talks. If I were known only by my footwear, I'd hang myself. Beth Ellen Hansen always looks like she's about to cry. I wish someone would just kick her and get it over with. And then of course, there's our teacher... Miss Elson. She's nice, and polite. I bet one day she goes on a psycho killing spree, and all her neighbors will say... "She was nice and polite." Well, from what your last two teachers tell me, it looks like déja vu all over again. It's time to vote for a sixth grade class president. And for the third year in a row... we're down to our final two nominees, and they are Harriet Welsch and Marion Hawthorne. And so, as you may know, the duties of the class president include taking attendance, reporting bad behavior and best of all, editing the sixth grade newspaper. And now we vote. Marion Hawthorne... again. Three years in a row. You know what? I think I'll invent a poison. A really good, clean, untraceable poison. One that fries your brains and makes all your bodily fluids boil at once. - Could you? - Check it out. One day I'd be like, "Oh, hi, Marion. "Oh, no, I'm not finishing this soda." And she'd be like... I'm serious. Any of you guys want to come over? I got to get home. If my amoebas start incubating, they really stink up the house. Harriet? Sorry. Spy time. Spy route. Harrison Withers' place. Higher altitude, lower risk. But always a show. Yeah, everybody's gonna have some grease today... All right, now, Jelly Roll. Yeah. Lady Day Come what may, whatever you say We all gonna have a good time A little bit for you, Satchmo You, Bessie And how 'bout you, Jelly Roll? Golly says, people who love work love life. Dizzy, Dizzy I like Harrison Withers, 'cause he's a guy that loves both. Scooby dah... Scooby-dooby, du-day Okay, that's it. Curiously, Harrison lives for his cats. Wow! Birdland. But his work is for the birds. Charlie Parker. Yardbird. In any case, his cages are the most beautiful I've ever seen. It's him. The Health Department has it in for Harrison, 'cause they say he's got too many cats. I know, I know. Too bad for them, Harrison has a system. See a hat, don't be home. No hat, no problem. Another score for the cat fan. Hey. Hey. Want some necklace? How about you, man? Ew. You got it all spitty. Tastes better that way. Good. Hey, Harriet, what are you writing? Notes. Can we read them? Can you read this? Okay, okay. I just wanted to know why you're always writing like a maniac. I want to remember everything. I want to know everything. Well, you must realize, Harriet, knowing everything won't do you a bit of good unless you use it to put beauty in this world. True or false? True. Of course it is. Harriet, your mother called. She's going to be late. Come on, Sport, Janie. I'll have you home before dinner. Golly always takes us places. She sees things other people barely notice. She's my nanny and... well, she's Golly. Okay, survey of the day. Today's question is: What wouldn't you eat for a million dollars? Bratwurst. Sport? Um... camel boogers, dried roadkill, and my dad's meatloaf. Janie? It's the last day of summer. Sad but true. Au revoir, monsieur soleil. Farewell! So long, bye-bye. Sayonara! - Good-bye... - We're here. Is this a garden? What a place! What is this? Golly, what's that? That's Mrs. W., a very good friend of mine. Kind of unusual. You know, there are as many ways to live as there are people in this world. And each one deserves a closer look. Welcome! Come on in. Hi. - Hi. - Hi. Hi. Look around. Have fun. Whoa! Awesome! Bop, bop, bop, bop! Do-wat, do-wat, do-wat I'm goin'! Ooh. I'm goin'! Hey, you guys... what do you say I propose a toast? Come on. Oh... go away. Say it quick, before it stops fizzing. Shake it up, take a sip, and wish for what you want most in the world. Okay. I want to replicate my own DNA and win the Nobel Peace Prize. Yeah. Oh! Very good, Janie. Okay, shake it up, Sport. Shake it up. I want to play more baseball games than Cal Ripkin, Jr. Oh, yeah! And get filthy rich doing it. Oh, yeah! Shake it, Harriet. I want to see the whole world and I want to write down everything. Harriet, slow down. That's very impressive. Harriet? I'm goin'! That's good, Harriet. That's very pretty, isn't it, Janie? Yes, I like it. Got you! Hey, wait up. Everybody, hello! It sucks, sixth grade! Feet off the bed, please. Okay. Feet off. Oh, the heinie bounce. Good choice. Very cute, Harriet, very cute. The neighbors will ask me, "What happened to Harriet Welsch?" "I don't know," I'll answer. "Such a shame. "She disappeared without a trace. And she was so adorable." How long have you been with me, Golly? Since you were born. 11 years and 12,000 tomato sandwiches ago. And you'll never leave me, right? Well, I won't leave you "leave you," Harriet, but, you know, one day you're going to be big enough. And well... well, big enough to take care of yourself. And when that day comes you won't need me and I'll be gone. But you know what? That day is not today. And now, it's time for bed. Are Mom and Dad tucking me in? No. They're at a very fancy party and I bet they're thinking about you right now. Really. Listen, I think I can hear 'em. Harriet... listen to everything Golly says to you. We're drinking champagne and eating caviar, Harriet. Come on. Let's go to bed. Who's going to bed? Uh, you are, tough guy. - Come on. - Ow! Ow! Child abuse! Child abuse! Oh, you think that's child abuse? You haven't even... How about that? What about that? What about one of these? Stand still, you little booger. Ugh! I'm telling you, just give me the big knife and this will all be over. Harriet, dear, you have taken a tomato sandwich to school with you... With mayonnaise. ...with mayonnaise every day for that past five years. Don't you want a little variety? Nope. Not even cream cheese with olive? Yum-yum-yum! Or how about pastrami? Roast beef? How about the fancy cucumber kind, with the crust cut off? Mom, I can't help it if I know what I like. And I know that I like tomato. After school spy route... Hong Fat's Food Emporium Holy cats, a veggie thief. This must be investigated thoroughly. Frankie, you took the truck last week. Wasn't that enough? Stop walking around. Frankie, go do some homework. I've done my homework. Do some reading. Watch TV. Do something. Grandpa, all I need is the truck. I know you know that I mean. Come on, Ma, let me have the truck. I got a date! What do you take me for? The Hong Fats have a son... Frankie. He's cool; American style. His parents are Chinese-style cool. Frankie likes going out, but they'd rather he work in the store, selling milk and bread and lizards. Ugh! I mean, do I try to interfere with your bookkeeping? ! My business is comedy! That's what I do! I'm funny! I'm the funny guy! Yes, you are. They're the money guys. Okay, slippery, bath time's over. Come out with your hands up. But I just got in. Oh, sure. I believe that one. Let's see your fingers, prune girl. Talk to the hand, 'cause the face ain't gonna listen. He asked me to come up with something new, something fresh. You read it. It was good. - Yes. - It was the funniest script we've had all year! Yes, it was. So what was their problem? Hey, I want to hear. Oh, yeah? I want to sing opera, but I can't, so I don't. That downstairs is... Well, your dad has a high-pressure job. What's a high-pressure job? It's when you don't get to do what you want and when you do, you don't have time to do it. Do spies have high-pressure jobs? Only when they're caught. I'm never caught. You're right. You never are. Oh, look, a ugly water bug! Hey! Caught ya. Here she is. Night. Good night. Good night. You want me to tuck you in? Golly can do it. "'The time has come,' the Walrus said. "To talk of many things." "Of shoes and ships and sealing wax." "Of cabbages and kings." "And why the sea is boiling hot." "And whether pigs have wings."' - Do you have any wings? - Yeah. Let me see. Crap? No, no. This stuff is beyond crap. This is what crap wants to be when it grows up. Listen to this. "A Question Corner by Marion Hawthorne. "Horse riding, for those who can afford it "is a very wonderful sport. "Every weekend, my father takes me riding and we laugh together as we ride." Does she mention her mom pays for dork lessons? Man, once that disintegration ray is complete... bzzt! She's molecular toast. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah. Mom and Dad's night out. Me and Golly's night in. Hello. What's that smell? Delicious German bratwurst. We hate bratwurst. I love bratwurst. Since when? I'll get it! No. No, no. I will get it. I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I said I'll get it and I mean I'll get it. - I got it! - No. I'll get it! Good evening, Katherine. The veggie thief. Katherine? Harriet Ann Welsch, Mr. George Waldenstein. How do you do? Yeah. I've seen him around. Bet he stole that pineapple. Good soup. Harriet, where are your manners? I don't know. Maybe somebody stole them. Hey, you cheated. Oh, you win. My congratulations. Yeah, well, I know some stuff. So, you're a delivery boy? Mm-hmm. Well, no offense, but, uh, you're like, what, 45? Ish. Shouldn't you be a delivery man by now? Harriet! Well, Harriet, I'll tell you. Not long ago, I had another life. I had a big business, I had a lot of money, and you know what? I was the most miserable man alive. So, one day, I told my wife that... - Wife? - I told my wife that I wanted to start all over again and if she wanted to, she could start all over with me. So what happened? Oh, she left me, but that's all right, that was her choice. My choice was to become a delivery boy... well, man. I don't have the business, of course. I don't have the money. You know what? My life is sweet again. Hmm. The wurst! Oh, no! My wurst! No, no! Oh... Oh, Lord. Oh, no. No. Don't be sad, Katherine. This is a blessing in disguise. That's a pretty good disguise. Don't you see? The three of us have to go out for dinner. - No. - Yeah! Yes, dinner and a movie! Movie, movie, movie! Come on, Golly! The idea seems popular enough. Yes, but the Welschs... Will be out. Till million o'clock! - Oh, please, Golly. - Please, oh, please? Oh, please, please, please, oh, please. Oh, please, please, please. What the heck. This is absurd. Yes! Don't speak. Wait! Wait for me! I'm not dead. Are you okay? Yeah. Hey. How come all the lights are on? Where is my child? Uh-oh. Harriet? Harriet, what are you doing in that contraption? Come in here at once. Miss Golly, what are you doing with my child, at this hour, without my consent? - Who is that? - My name is... - Shut up! - I'm sorry. We only went to dinner and then a movie. Harriet is not your daughter, Miss Golly. She is mine, and you have no idea, none, what it is like to come home and find - that your child is missing. - We had no idea that you'd be home this soon. I don't care. I don't care what you did or where you went or why. All I know is this can never happen again. Miss Golly... you are fired. What? ! No! Just a moment. This is my fault. Please. Well, it seems awfully sudden. Actually... maybe it's not. I think you're right, Mrs. Welsch. It is time for me to go. What? What? What? Now, look, I admit, I lost it... because, I just... I was frightened. But the thing is, the fact is we need you, Golly. We can't do it alone. We all spoke out of turn, I think. None of this is causing... Absolutely not. Absolutely, no. I mean, I think we were talking about... our feelings out there. You were afraid and-and-and now what we should be focusing on, right? Is-is Harriet. Look, I'm sorry. - I lost my head out there. - Look. There. - No, no. - I was just... but you can't go... I mean, we need you. Harriet would never stand for it. Please, won't you reconsider? You know, it's not about what happened outside tonight. It really isn't. But Golly... I just... no, I think it's time. I really do. Harriet can take care of herself now, so she should. But Harriet's just... She's just a little girl. You know, it's the right thing. It's the right thing for all of us... for me, for you and for Harriet. Are you sure? Yeah, I am. "'The time has come," the Walrus said," "To talk of many things... "Of shoes and ships and sealing wax..." "Of cabbages and kings... "And why the sea is boiling hot... And whether pigs have wings." Where you going to go? Well, I don't really know. I'm thinking I may travel. Are you going to go be some other kid's nanny now? And love them more than you? Never. Remember, in my life, in this world there will always only be one Harriet. So get back to work... you've lost nearly an entire day on your notebook. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter? Did I hear you say "It doesn't matter"? Because I thought I heard you say "It doesn't matter," but Harriet wouldn't say that, would she? Now come on... just because you're on your own, doesn't mean the world stops turning, or that there are no more fascinating people to observe and fill your notebooks with. That's your job, Harriet. That's your job for life. And when you're all grown up and you sell your first novel, I'll be first in line at that bookstore, getting my autographed copy. I hope. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. Ah, it's okay to cry. But whatever you do, don't laugh. No, Harriet, I will not tolerate laughter as I leave, no. Hey... come here. You remember... a good spy can get in there and fight. Good-bye, Harriet the Spy. I was kind of worried, you know? I kind of thought, "Well, there's something wrong with me or something," and so... Growing up from girl to woman, there's so much to get used to. This is the time when a whole new set of feelings unfold. Feelings about yourself and your maturing body... Everything's the same as when Golly was here. It looks the same... it smells the same... but there's this tiny hole inside me that wasn't there before. It's like... like a splinter in your finger... only this one's right above my stomach. Harriet, are you okay? Uh-huh. Something's... different. No cats? How can Harrison Withers not have a billion cats around? They finally nailed him. I will always remember that face. That's the face you make when you really lose something. Uh-oh, Frankie took the truck. Speak English! Oh, okay, you want us to speak English, huh? ! Well, you are a jerk, huh? I tell you, "Don't take the truck. You smash the truck." Well, you tell me now, Mr. Wise Guy, was one date worth it? ...we have people here shopping! Yeah. Hey, all right, Grandpa. It's cool, right? It wasn't a big deal, huh? I knew you'd understand, right? Sometimes I think families everywhere are exactly the same. Everybody get back to work. Mom, Dad, please? Grandpa! Just calm down. Too exciting. He keeps a little anchor to windward. Don't we all? Shouldn't we return to the burning issue of the day? The convention? We'll turn this city upside down for you. We'll stage the right kind of convention. -What kind is that? -The kind that re-elects the President. Where else? Second cities like Chicago? Resonating with memories of Hubert in '68? California? The land of Jerry Brown and Tom Hayden that nominates a Mondale. You could go to Miami, but it's Casablanca. We'll make you a winner right here. You're not a New Yorker, are you? Ferriday, Louisiana. Huey Long country. ""Every man a king,"" but no one wears a crown. I love this guy. Thank you so much. Lovely evening. Kevin, give me a call in the morning. I need some stuff for The New York Times. An editorial lauding our choice of convention city. The President loves a good Times editorial. -Let me assure you-- -The vote's in. We got it. Let them catch their shuttle. I'm sure they're running late. -Thank you. -Thank you so much. MacNeil/Lehrer, Friday night. Zapatti's bullet killed the child. It wasn't the cop. That's it! That's what passes for good news these days. I'll take it. I saw Tino Zapatti's probation report. Exemplary, but an odd thing. It's front-loaded. -With who? -With supervisory personnel. But it's signed off on by an honest judge. -Judge Walter Stern? -Yes. Thank God. I'm meeting Frank Anselmo for breakfast. -Oh, good. Where? -Woerner's. Woerner's? -The hangout at Borough Hall? -That's it. When you go to Brooklyn, you're Frank Anselmo's guest. Don't piss up his leg. Just get him off this infrastructure thing. Nothing wrong with it... ... justunaffordablerightnow . Good work tonight. Mrs. Marquand couldn't stop talking about the cover of Time. I think she collects them. National ink, the mother's milk of politics. Did I hear right, or did we get the convention? It's not signed and sealed... ... butitis delivered. And you were the closer. I thought I had him with the second-city stuff. Of course you did. You know why? It belongs here. New York City. This is the place. Excuse me. All right, the story's on the 1 0:00 news. A little slow. --took the life of an innocent 6-year-old on his way to school during a police action. They're all over it like a cheap suit. It's gonna stick to us like one too. --6-year-old James Bone on his way to school. Ballistics from the police lab confirm the wayward bullet that killed the boy came from Zapatti's gun.... Here you are, Mr. Zapatti. Michael. Find Vinnie. I wanna have a little talk with him. Yesterday, on the corner of Broadway and Marcy Street, gunfire broke out claiming 6-year-old James Bone along with 2 1-year-old Tino Zapatti. .. ...a convicted felon on probation and a 32-year-old police detective, Eddie Santos. The police commissioner has disclosed that an investigation is under way into Santos ' activities. Question: What was Santos doing with a drug dealer wanted for probation violations? Good morning. It will raise serious questions of corruption in the courts. Stern gave Tino Zapatti, a drug dealer probation instead of sending him to prison. The question everyone is asking because of this unusual disposition is, why did the judge do that? Good morning, Mrs. Santos. I'm Marybeth Cogan. We met at the hospital. That's Randy and Maria? These are my kids. -Please sit down. -Thank you. -l'm sorry to have to talk to you here. -lt's all right. Hear from anyone in the department today? A couple of the guys. What did they say? I called to pick up his things from the precinct. They said his locker was sealed. But the captain came to see me. He was very nice. What captain? Homicide South. Eddie's commander. He's required to call on the widow. is anything wrong? Don't talk to anyone without checking with me first. Okay? We're in the wrong business. You get lost? There's a key to downtown Brooklyn, but I sure don't have it. Murray, Lenny, you know Kevin. Kevin, this is Dan. Kevin, how are you? Tex, sit down. Take a load off. Louisiana, Murray, for the umpteenth time. Can't take a joke? Jimmy! What'll you have? Oatmeal with skim milk, bananas, brown sugar. So what's new? I'll give you the headlines. S P's lowering the city's credit rating. We're gonna close two firehouses. Result: 1 50 demonstrators at City Hall. The park commissioner has quit... ... toruntheSan FranciscoBallet. The stock exchange insists on leaving town. Plus a zillion other little rancid goodies. Plus a kid got shot. -And a drug dealer. -And a cop. No wonder the deputy mayor's here in Brooklyn. Well, but... ... he'sverywelcome. Where is the stock exchange moving to, my boy? White Plains, they mutter. They've been muttering that for years. One day they'll stop muttering and go. That's why we need city land for BankExchange. -No argument, Lenny. -And a subway stop. And an off-ramp from the expressway. The city's $25 billion in debt. We're in no position to build off-ramps. 3000 workers, you don't want to build a subway stop? What's your interest in this? Did you buy a few options around the city property? Of course he did. So did every other developer in town. Notwithstanding that, Mr. Deputy Mayor... ... ifyoudon'ttransport their employees... ... BankExchangewill dump this deal... ... andforgetaboutNew York... ... andputup their60-storybuilding in New Jersey instead. So be it. The mayor loves BankExchange but can't afford infrastructure. You're flying in the face of real politics. Subways get people to jobs. Jobs mean votes. I thought John Pappas liked votes. He loves votes, Frank. But no infrastructure. Much as the city approves of a subway station and off-ramp... ... itcan'tpayfor them. -Where are you going? -l have an appointment in Manhattan. This meeting's over? I heard you say no. Can I offer you a ride? No, thanks. I make it quicker on the train. Here he comes. Judge Stern! Why did you give Tino Zapatti probation, Your Honor? Why did you go soft on the drug charge? is probation a sentence in this town? They're burying little James Bone. Are you going to the funeral? Get me the file on Tino Zapatti. Mr. Deputy Mayor... ... I'mMarybethCogan. ""Detectives' Endowment Association, Legal Affairs, Co-counsel. "" Very nice card. I represent Santos, and you're muddying my client's name. -Take it up with Corporation Council. -And get it buried? You should tell the mayor someone's taking him up the wrong street. Maybe we could explore this in more detail. Maybe over coffee. I'm talking about a hero detective and his widow's pension. Why don't you wait in my office? No, I don't think so. I'll expect to hear from you in the morning. No, no, that's wrong. It won't go away unless you do something about it. This is a crisis that could derail us. The way Willie Horton sunk Dukakis... ... TinoZapatticansinkus. Good afternoon. Where you been? My Brooklyn meeting. How'd it go? I think I just pissed up Frank Anselmo's leg. And? Felt good. Okay, Leslie. Tomorrow's Times, Post and News are all keeping the shooting... ... onthefrontpage. What'd you expect? Nothing short of a triple ax murder will take it off. Keep feeding the press, morning and night. Emphasize our tough stand on crime. The 20% drop in homicides and street crime last year. Also, Stern's record. Hard-line. Good, Kevin. Corporation Council? We've commissioned a study that'll... ... provethiscityhas the toughest probation guidelines in the country. Excellent. Get Community Affairs involved. Tell Parks... ... cleanuptheirplaygrounds. Hover, nudge, show we care. And then we gotta do something concrete. Something big, something important. Something that means jobs. That means building BankExchange. I won't let these shootings interfere with my program for the city. I'm speaking at the boy's funeral. James Bone's funeral. That's a blueprint for trouble. I don't care. It's the right thing to do. I don't think you'll be welcome there. They got me anyway. Let's go to work. Kevin, I need you. So what happened? Frank Anselmo and his real-estate cronies is what happened. They want the subway stop to raise their land value. The property around BankExchange? And? Anselmo said, ""No subway stop... -... noBankExchange."" -And you said? I thought we could keep Anselmo on the back burner... ... butweneedBankExchange. We need jobs. We need that money going into the community. Given the situation at Broadway and Marcy... ... it'spoliticallyexpedient. The hell with politically expedient. I'm talking about a 60-story building that'll employ 3000 people. It'll put food on the table. That's what counts. That's what we're about. That's BankExchange. That's all it is. You said we can't afford a subway stop. That'll take politics. More than one way to skin a cat. Get in there. Keep that staff fired up. You're the boss. What are you doing tonight? Hadn't thought about it. You ever see Carousel? The musical? You serious? A little before my time. You'll love it. Frank Anselmo will be there. I'm free. George... ... FrankAnselmo'sin there. Tell him to come up. I want to see him in the lobby. Just list them for me. That's all. Let me get back to you. We're missing the best part. You know it by heart. I saw you lip-synching. Well, lucky l do. I couldn't hear all the words. I don't know if it's my old ears or the subway underneath. -Did you like the Billy Bigelow? -He's good. Good voice. What'd you think of the Julie Jordan? Good act, no voice. My Nettie could sing better. We met 25 years ago, Westbury-- l heard about that. Speaking of performances, Frank. I don't wanna hear about another one like this morning. Your boy embarrassed me. You'll have to live with it. -Why? -Because he's my boy. There's oil... ... underthatvacantlot ,Frank. Jobs. You don't need to politick me. I run Kings County. Jobs for people of this city. Not leases for Lenny, Murray and all your greedy pals. Just because this kid thinks he can elect you President... ... you'dforgetwhogot you here? I don't forget anything. You're developing a short memory. Or a selective one. You want me to refresh it for you? I'm sorry, John. Here it is. The off-ramp costs me five million. Another $35 million for the subway stop. You'll get some from me. The rest I got to beg Albany. I got better things to beg for from Albany. I got a solution. How about a spur... -... offtheCanarsieLine? -Are you crazy? A spur is $1 20 million a track mile. BankExchange is good for the poor. It's good for the jobless. It's good for the whole city. As for subway stops, infrastructure, off-ramps... ... wecan'taffordit. Then you'll have to forget the whole thing. I love the second-act opener. Then you won't wanna miss it. ""This was a real nice clambake. "" I'm building up my lOUs with Albany. The governor needs to step up with a new subway stop... ... orI won'tsupporthim for re-election. And the off-ramp? Next year. -lt's already in my budget. -Next year's too far. You're only a boss, Frank. I'm the fucking mayor. Mayors rule. BankExchange. My way or the highway. Why do I get the feeling you're getting the bigger half? Let me ask you something. If I'd have offered you less... ... wouldyouhavebeenpolite and taken it? Of course. You got what you wanted. I like to kiss the pretty ones. There's another pretty one. You got BankExchange. -How did you know? -l saw the kiss. I saw the smile. How'd you get it? I didn't say no. But he'll take a bath on those leases. It'll just take him longer. -Something for him, something for me. -More for you? No, no. More for the city. Hey. Cigar. Sneaking in a drink for Sydney? I was. Now they're both for me. Helps Frank Anselmo go down. Off-ramp and a subway stop already budgeted for. But I'm left holding the bag. What are you complaining about? The bag's full of cash. Minus a year. You can weather a year. You can weather 1 00 years. I've got partners. You're my partners! You're holding so many options on land... ... youcouldbuyBrooklyn. You could probably buy Staten Island too. Would you excuse us, please? Of course. I got an appointment anyway. Good. Then it works out nicely. You sure BankExchange is all set? We got everything we wanted. Now you can get something else for me. -What's that? -My name out of the papers. How? With $40,000. What am I gonna do with $40,000? Let me ask you a question. You ever heard of a cop with $40,000? Who wasn't crooked? A cop with $40,000 would make big headlines. Say hello to Nettie for me. I will. -Take care. -All right. That's for the dead cop. Reverend Chapman will introduce me? With one sentence. And then what? Get out of here. -And which way is that? -Side door. No. Out the front. is that a good idea? Intel's out there, and they say people aren't happy. Sisters... ... brethren.... The mayor of the city of New York... ... theHonorableJohnPappas. Thank you, reverend. I was warned not to come here. I was warned. They warned me: ""Don't stand behind that coffin. "" But why should I heed such a warning... ... whena heartbeatis silent... ... anda childliesdead? ""Don't stand behind... ... thiscoffin."" That boy was as pure and as innocent... ... asthedrivensnow. But I must stand here because... ... Ihavenotgivenyou what you should have. Until we can walk abroad and recreate ourselves... ... untilwecanstrollalongthe streets like boulevards... ... congregateinparks, free from fear... ... ourfamiliesmingling... ... ourchildrenlaughing, our hearts joined... . Until that day, we have no city. You can label me a failure until that day. The first, and perhaps only great mayor, was Greek. He was Pericles of Athens... ... andhelived some 2500 years ago... ... andhesaid: ""All things good of this earth... ... flowintothecity... ... becauseofthecity'sgreatness."" Well... ... weweregreatonce. Can we not be great again? I put that question... ... toJamesBone... ... andthere'sonlysilence. Yet... ... couldnotsomething... ... passfromthissweetyouthtome? Could he not empower me... ... tofindin myselfthe strength... ... tohavetheknowledge... ... tosummonup thecourage... ... toaccomplishthisseemingly insurmountable task... ... ofmakingacitylivable? Just livable? There was a palace... ... thatwasacity. It was a palace! It was a palace, and it can be a palace again! A palace in which there is no king or queen... ... ordukesor earlsorprinces, but subjects all. Subjects... ... beholdentoeachothertomake... ... abetterplacetolive . is that too much to ask? Are we asking too much from you? is it beyond our reach? Because if it is... ... thenwearenothingbutsheep ... ... beingherded to the final slaughterhouse. I will not go down that way! I choose to fight back! I choose to rise, not fall! I choose to live, not die! And I know... ... Iknowthatwhat'swithinme... ... isalsowithinyou ! That's why... ... Iaskyounow ... ... tojoinme . Join me. Rise up with me. Rise up on the wings... ... ofthisslainangel. We'll rebuild on the soul... ... ofthislittlewarrior. We will pick up his standard... ... andraiseit high. Carry it forward... ... untilthiscity... ... yourcity... ... ourcity... ... hiscity... ... isa palaceagain! is a palace again! I am with you, little James. I am you. Thank you very much. Terrible thing to bury a child. Your trip to Washington. The stuff for the Convention Committee. History of New York City for Senator Marquand. Reservation at the Willard Hotel. Lincoln stayed there, by the way. Enough about me. Enough about me. What are you gonna do tonight after I'm gone? I don't know. I hadn't thought about it. You're gonna get yourself a good meal. You're gonna pass on that double cheeseburger from Roy Rogers. You're going to go to Dominic's and get takeout, on me. Get a decent meal. But before you go to Dominic's, go to Macy's... ... andgetachair... ... withlegsandarms. That apartment of yours... ... lookslikeit belongs in a homeless file. Then it's off to Crate Barrel for a knife... ... afork,aspoon... ... anda glasswhileyou 'reatit. Then I'll need a dishwasher. Just throw them out after you finish eating. It's on me. Get a life. I've got yours. It's quite enough. You read this? Today's Times editorial? ""Judge or Be Judged""? ""Notwithstanding Judge Stern's distinguished record... ... onemustask, 'Would he be on the bench... ... ifhewerenot aformer law partner of the mayor's? ' "" I didn't appoint him. He was nominated like everybody else. Everybody knows the party arranges nomination of judges. Whose side are you on? I'm on yours... ... andI alwayswillbe. But I smell a hanging party. We should put distance between ourselves... -... andWalterStern. -Distance is shit. Distance! Distance is something you do to your enemies. It's the thing of the '90s to make friends extinct. Distance... ... istheabsenceofmenschkeit. Translate that for me. You don't know what menschkeit means? I don't. Menschkeit. You know, something between men. It's about honor, character... . Untranslatable. That's why it's Yiddish. I didn't know you'd taken up the language. Abe laid it on me. Abe's a good man. You're a good man, Pappy. Underneath that Louisiana... ... canesyrup... ... plainreddirt. Not that different from the pavements of Astoria, where l'm from. You and me... ... arestickingby Judge Walter Stern. Man, thou art dust... ... andtodust... ... thoushaltreturn. If there's anything I can do... ... pleasefeelfreetocall . -Thank you. -lt's the least we can do. Good morning. Where's the mayor? He had to go to Washington on convention business. This rates an inspector's funeral, and that includes the mayor. The mayor's absence in no way diminishes his concern... ... forMrs.Santos and her children. Where'd they get all that stuff from in the newspapers? At school, they tell my girl her daddy was a drug dealer. We'll get our press people right on it. What about internal Affairs? What are those clowns doing? Where you going? -City. -l thought we were in the city. Not if you're from Queens. Let's start over. Where you going? Manhattan. Hop in. Go fuck yourself. Not to be disrespectful... ... buttheTransportationDepartment... ... wasn'tprepared for 1 000 people. 999. We were expecting the mayor. You're just going to wait for an hour... ... thenrideabus , then slepp on a subway-- Schlep. ""Schlep. "" Not ""slepp. "" ""Schlep. "" Get the gumbo out of your Yiddish. How do you feel about the L.l.E.? I hate the L.l.E. Take the Grand Central. Catch it at Astoria Boulevard. Go ahead, I'll show you. Santos was a good cop. You're doing a vile thing. It's wrong... ... toblameadeadcop and steal a widow's rights. You keep saying that. Nobody's doing anything. You've got all the answers. Don't even have the questions yet. Well, I got a question for you. You hungry? Swing by that diner up there. The North Star. Best Philly steak sandwiches in New York City. Or do you call them Philadelphia steak sandwiches? Who we gonna meet here? What are you talking about? You surface in front of my car at the cemetery. You show just enough leg so I'd stop. And the Grand Central is the long way around. Who we gonna meet? Albert Holly. He was Eddie Santos' partner two years ago when Tino Zapatti got probation. Thank you. Eddie got ahold of something, he wouldn't let go. Eddie Santos was a pit bull. Pit bulls are ugly, but they're not stupid. What was he doing without backup? It wasn't the first time he'd taken Tino down. He'd never had a problem with him before. Somehow, Tino must have got the drop on him. It happens. Why didn't he tell anyone he was going up there? Because it was his collar. He made that case against Tino, then the judge went south. There is no way Tino Zapatti could have walked two years ago unless... ... unlessinterestedparties... ... hadthejudgeintheirpocket. Walter Stern is a jurist of national reputation. I don't care if he's Oliver Wendell Holmes. Somebody got to him. And based on that one interview... ... youwereabletocome tothe conclusion stated in your testimony? That and the V.A. records, yes. Do you mind passing this on to the judge? --based on only one interview? The defendant has a lengthy, documented case-- Please answer the question. -Would you restate the question? -All right. Based on that one interview, you were able--? Where are you going with this? Your Honor, the witness interprets the defendant V.A. record one way... ... ourpsychologist interprets it another. Another and another until the end of time. So much for expert witnesses. Let's take a break. 2:30 all right for everybody? I see you've already met Peter Ragan, my law clerk. He's written some of my best opinions. He appeared before me first time I presided over moot court at Yale. You could say Peter and I are joined at the hip. Thanks, Peter. Please have a seat. Thank you for seeing me, Judge Stern. And how can I help you? Tino Zapatti. What about him? How did he get off with probation? I can only sentence in accordance with the conviction. He was convicted of criminal possession of the fourth degree. They found a kilo in his car. is it your intention to try the case again? Not at all. But I read the rap sheet. I am certified to this state as a Supreme Court judge... ... andyou'resittinghere rearguing a 2-year-old case. You're out of line, and I'll so inform the mayor. I'm here on the mayor's behalf. You think I've slept the last two nights? Don't you realize I know what a mistake I made? That's it. Satisfied? No basement or anything? You saw it, the rumpus room. With the pool table? That's right, captain. I'm only doing my job. I'm very sorry-- Oh, sorry, crap! You're snooping around like a Nazi. Please. You know this is the last thing I wanted to do. Then get the hell out of internal Affairs, and get an honest job. Marybeth? Two-bars has been here all morning. He went over the place from top to bottom. You gotta do something about Eddie's pension. They're gonna reduce it. What about the Police Memorial Award? The precinct says it goes to the next of kin. Well, this piece of brass isn't here to give me any award. $40,000 in cash was found in Detective Santos' strongbox... ... hereathissummercottage in Ulster County. Emergency Service Unit workers... . Frank? Yeah, I'm up at the cabin. They found the money. Good work. I'm watching it now. What is the connection to the deaths of James Bone and Tino Zapatti? What was Santos doing with $40,000? The mayor understands the implications of the discovery in Ulster County but would like to stress that these are implications only. Can you believe this shit? We never set foot in that dump after Eddie's father died. -lt's full of hornets' nests. -Yeah, busy hornets. Never in our life did we see $4000 cash... ... muchless40 . There's only two people know that's not Eddie 's money. You and me. Who is this? Vinnie Zapatti. I can get you out of this. I can get you the pension, the medals. You want them? Sure, sure, I want them. Good. Now, I liked Eddie andI wannahelpyou , but you gotta help me. What's that mean? An airplane ticket and $ 10,000. $1 0,000! For God's sake, I can't-- -A lot of money! What've you got? -Who are you? Marybeth Cogan. Detectives' Endowment Association. I represent the Santos family. What have you got? I made the meeting for Eddie with Tino... ... sohecouldgiveup what he knew about the judge. And what was that? 10,000 and a plane ticket. I'll give you the destination later. Your information is worthless unless I can bring a witness. Which Zapatti are we meeting? Paulie had two brothers. Tino was John 's boy, Vinnie is Jimmy's. So Vinnie and Tino are cousins? That's right, cousins. They have cousins in Louisiana? Down there, we're all cousins. If you got a cousin, you got a vote. Then why not run for office instead of carrying the mayor's bag? I consider it an honor not only to carry his bag... ... butalsoto fillitwith things I think the city needs. Oh, the kingmaker. The man behind the throne. I'm beginning to suspect you don't like politicians. You're no politician. They run for office. You're a walker. Take a right at this gas station... ... becausewearealmostthere. Thank you. Vinnie sure likes strange places. It looks like Monday night in Key Largo. He's impersonating Mafia. Vinnie Zapatti's a joke to his uncle... ... buta dangerousjoke. As far as I'm concerned, they're all dangerous jokes. Do me a favor and don't write them off just yet. I said they were dangerous. Wonder what Vinnie's doing in a place like this? Wonder what we're doing in a place like this. -This is it. -Where's our boy? -l don't know. -Think Vinnie had a change of heart? If he's a Zapatti, he has no heart. -Let's go. -Don't turn around. Marybeth, right? Who's this? The deputy mayor. Deputy mayor? What do I need you for then? Don't get smart. I'm the only chance you got. All right. Let's go. This a Searider? What, you know boats? I worked on a Shrimper like this. This ain't no Searider. It's a piece of shit. They call it a Surfrider. I wanted a Searider, but my uncle wouldn't pop for it. Your uncle like boats? Who? Paulie? Paulie wouldn't know a cleaver from a fucking cleat. It was my dream, you know. Free of the goombahs. Run a charter in the islands. Eddie was gonna help me. You and Eddie? That's a strange marriage. He was only gonna find clients. I'll tell you something. If I'd met him earlier, I'd never be in this mess. If only Tino hadn't whacked Eddie. Know why he was there that morning? Santos wasn't there to take Tino down. He was there to get information on the judge. How do you know? I was there that morning. What information on the judge? That you get with $1 0,000 and a plane ticket. Come up with it by tomorrow. This meeting is adjourned. Let us bring you in. We'll put you in the Witness Protection Program. No, thanks. I got my own Witness Protection Program. Morning. The sharks are already circling. Another Zapatti washed up. They fished him out of the 79th Street Basin. Victim's hands were bound in a 3-inch chain, ship's chandlery type. Forensics reveal blows... ... froma bluntinstrument. Where have you been? -Had a busy night. -l'm sure you did. Read this morning's operations printout? What about it? I was with Vinnie Zapatti last night. He's dead because of Tino Zapatti's probation report. Now there's four deaths. They're connected. -That's all I know-- -That's all I wanna know! -Just trying to circle the wagons. -Circle the wagons? Who do you think you are? Some gumshoe in a dime novel... ... loose-cannoningaroundthecity? Consorting with known mobsters! Kevin, for God's sakes! You're the mayor's right-hand! What are you fucking around for? You see this desk? It belonged to Fiorello La Guardia, ""the little flower. "" He was about 5 foot tall. Used to read the funny papers to children over the radio... ... andwasabout the best mayor the city ever had. Know what La Guardia said? ""Why is it every time you can do some good... ... thenicepeoplecomein and mess you up?"" Be nice. Don't mess me up. -Did I wake you up? -You kidding? I've been trying to figure out how to raise $1 0,000. The hook is in, and I'm close. Vinnie is Eddie's passport... -... to an honorable death. -Vinnie's dead. -Murdered. -What? Vinnie Zapatti's dead. He washed up near the 79th Street Basin. -Oh, God. -Heads up. Call when you get to your office. Taxi! Bronx. Take East River Drive. Now, look. I don't have a lot of time. I cleared it with the captain. Take all the time you need. You're pulling rank on me? Still looking for a new shoe size? I know all the jokes. ""Cement C. "" What I need now are the straight lines. The police commissioner works for the mayor. -What is your point? -Trust me or fuck you. Stand up. I just need to see... ... howmanypeople... ... thatI 'mtalkingto . It's just me. All right. Eddie called me from Manhattan South. The night before? He wanted me to come up there with him. You didn't go. -You did the right thing. -No, I didn't! He had no business there without a ghost. That should have been me plus backups. But Eddie was such a hothead... . I mean... ... thekindthatnevercoolsoff. What do you want to tell me? There was another probation report. This one... ... itsetTinoupforthemax, 1 0 to 20. What happened to it? I don't know. Who wrote it? That's all I got. The probation officer... . Name? James Wakeley. You won't find him on Leonard Street. Where is he? Upstate, working parole. I told you not to come up here. You made a long trip for nothing. Do you want to tell me the truth now or under oath? You looking to grow brass balls, miss? I'm doing well without them. Do you want a subpoena, or may we continue? What brought you here from Leonard Street? New York State parole officer. Better pay and pension. -Nicer surroundings. -Think so? -What happened to Tino Zapatti? -He's dead, isn't he? I'm talking about two years ago. He got probation. What sentence did you recommend? Ten to 20. I saw the rap sheet. Tino was pushing drugs to kids. Not doing it himself, but having kids deal for him. Weapon from a previous homicide? Disappeared in the second report. Who ordered it? That I don't know. Why didn't you ask? Sudden urge to move to the country. I forgot about it. Now if you'll excuse me... ... you'dbettergetout ofhere . My lumbago tells me that snow is coming. You better hurry. Buffalo gets socked in pretty fast. Thank you for your time. Watch your step. lt's slippery. Thank you. -How long? -About an hour. You don't want to suffocate in a tunnel. They got to dig one out ahead. Meanwhile, enjoy the snow. We can't eat snow. -Try that diner over there. -Any good? Lemon pudding's not bad. Be back in half an hour. Like a sauna in here. -My toes are like icicles. -Warming up? Slowly. What'll it be? A burger, fries and a Coke. How is the lemon pudding? -Homemade. -l'll give it a shot. -To go. -You got it. Say, why is this called The Floyd Diner instead of Floyd's Diner? Because you're in Floyd, New York. Who'd have thunk it? Floyd, New York. Like Clyde, New Jersey. Could you imagine spending your life in a place like this? I can. I grew up in one. Ferriday, Louisiana. There's something special about small-town life. So what are you doing in New York? Every Louisiana boy catches politics like a disease. I didn't know that. That's a fact, and I was no exception. After law school, I headed where? Floyd, New York. Washington. Leapfrogged... ... fromstaffer to congressional assistant... ... untilthemayorofNewYorkCity came down to testify. And he gave a speech that day... ... thatwillstaywithme for the rest of my life. I went up to him and told him I admired him and what he stood for... ... andwhileIwas thankinghim... ... heaskedme if Ilikedstonecrabs . Halfway through dinner, I had a job. At the end of dinner, I felt like I had a new home. And here we go. I hear the curve in your voice. I've been with Pappas for 3 years... ... andI finallyfoundaplace,where you can make a difference. Well, you did. You made a difference to Elaine Santos. You cleared Eddie's name, got their pension. Yeah, but not so fast. We gotta keep Wakeley on ice till I find that report. We don't need the report. We just take Wakeley's deposition. No, that's all you need. I gotta get that report, see where it leads. What if, while you're playing detective... ... Wakeleydecides it'd be healthier to disappear? Then we're left with nothing. How's Elaine supposed to feed her kids? That's a risk we gotta take. I don't need you to get Wakeley's deposition. If you talk to him on your own... ... you'llfeelthefullweight of the mayor's office upon you. It's not a pleasant feeling. You're a mean prick, you know that? Where I come from, that's a compliment. Hold on a minute. To what? Your ambition? John Pappas' coattails? Burger, fries, Coke and a lemon pudding. I'll take these. The mayor's boy gets the lemon pudding. Mr. Schwartz? Kevin Calhoun. I've just been talking to a friend of yours. -I've got the probation report. -Where are you? Right around the corner. At Franklin and Hudson. Schwartz? -George. -Abe called me. He's in the back. That's the only way in. The back door's gated. All right. I got a couple marriages. Abe. It's your play. Throw the card for me. You've been practicing all your life. Freddie, give us a minute. He's dead! Schwartz is dead. I heard it on the phone. I was-- Get ahold of yourself. lt's okay. You were right. You knew it from the minute we saw him that day. It wasn't kosher. There was a second report. That was only a feeling. Now it's a fact. 5 people are dead. Stern looks so judicial. How could he be so corrupt? The sweater unravels. I'll give you one this time. ""The only thing new in this world is the history you don't know. "" New Testament? Harry Truman. Judge Stern's a good man. He's good? 5 people are dead! -What's your point? -You throw the book at the guy. Embrace Detective Santos. Max death settlement for her. Medal of Honor for the deceased. I'll make sure Leslie makes the morning editions with it. So you got this all figured out? -That's my job, isn't it? -That's cold. That's cold. I mean you don't just... . It's more complicated than that. Forgive me. I know the two of you are old friends. Be careful how you judge people. Most of all, friends. You don't sum up a man's life in one moment. There are no cold answers, are there? There's no simple yes or no. A man's life is not the bricks. It's the mortar. It's the stuff that lays between. The stuff-- The stuff you can't see. I've known Walter my whole life. God! He's a decent man. -He's a good man. -But this is tough stuff. This is body-bag stuff. Tell me if there's some other way. There isn't. Die's been cast. It was cast a long time ago. Go easy. Give him a blindfold and have mercy. Walter Stern was a tough man, but he was fair. We give back the same. No? And you be careful. Keep George with you. Let him drive. I gotta go in here. I knew James Wakeley would surface... ... justasIknew when that bullet hit that boy... ... itwouldkeeptraveling. And find its way... ? To me. If only it had found me first. If only I could have stepped in front of him. Regrets are pathetic, aren't they? I was tired of being the white-shoe litigator. Defending the arbitrageurs... ... andthe'80sgo-goboys . All it took was $50,000 to change my life. Fifty thousand, and the judgeship was mine. Absurd, isn't it? The mayor has the highest regard for you, judge. And I for him. Your resignation in about six months would be appropriate. Six months, did you say? How about six hours? This is the scene at the D.A. 's office where city officials have been brought in for questioning in the story surrounding the resignation of Judge Walter Stern. After the checks and balances rap, we'll go into: ""Revelations are not unprecedented. Consider Judge Wachtler, a man of impeccable credentials... -... whofellsubjectto- -"" -Take it out. -The whole thing? -Leave the Wachtler stuff in there. -Just say it plain. -You know the rest. Sharks are getting hungry. Give them a one-minute sign. Look. Lean and hungry, even the fat ones. Any news? Got anything? Thirty seconds, ladies and gentlemen. Thirty. Convention's coming to town. You gonna be all right? Thanks for asking. I'll be fine. Damage control, remember. Damage control. -You look good. -Of course. I'm the mayor. Lyndon Johnson said: ""Everybody will give you ideas on how to get out of trouble... ... cheaplyandfast. And they all come down to this: Deny your responsibility. "" John F. Kennedy said: ""An error doesn't have to become a mistake... ... untilyourefusetocorrectit."" There were explosive developments with the incident at Broadway and Marcy. The revelation of a missing probation report may result in the handing up of indictments by the grandjury of Supreme Court Judge Stern and Brooklyn Democratic leader, Frank Anselmo. His connections to Mafia chieftain, Paul Zapatti, are certain to be examined. Sources say the career of the political boss is over and a long prison term is in the offing. Chester? Chester, what are you doing? Did Mommy let you out? Did she? And how was your day today? Give me a kiss. You okay, Frank? Fine, sweetheart. I'm fine. It's been on the TV all morning. Yeah, I know. I heard. I fixed you some osso buco. I had a feeling you might come home for lunch today. It smells good. I'll just go get the clothes. That machine's thunking again. Paulie! How are you, Frank? -l'm good, considering. -Yeah, of course. Of course. Coffee? Nettie's down with the laundry. Stay for lunch? Osso buco. Osso buco. Nettie fixes it piemontese. Peppers and everything. No, that's all right. I had my lunch. -Can I get coffee? -No, thanks. So. What do you think? Well, same old thing. This time it's this Calhoun guy. I never liked him. -He's a cracker. -Of the worst kind. He's out of here tomorrow. No, I don't think so. What are you talking about? He's a reed. You push him and he bends. Not this one. This one's a terrier. I had a dog like him once. I went to have him put down. He jumped out of my arms at the vet's and took off for the park. Sometimes I still think I see him out there... ... watchingme... ... gnawingonan oldbone. Excuse me. Hello, Nettie. Can I help you with the basket? No, no. I didn't know Frank was expecting you. Due espressi? . Maybe later. 99 out of 1 00 times, we can beat something like this. I don't like the odds. We go back a long way. I know, I know. I tried to close the door, Frank. Couldn't get it shut. -What do you want me to do? -Take the pressure off yourself. Here's the thing. They'll tell you: ""Yeah, yeah, sure. You have the key to the cell. Go ahead. "" But you won't be able to open it without singing. You're a singer. Give me a chance, and I'll show you how quiet I can be. It's out of my hands, Frank. Do the right thing, will you? -Make it easy for yourself. -Frank, honey. Lunch! And your family. Senator, I guarantee this is nothing but a blemish on a great metropolis. The party will never see that blemish in June. All it'll see is the Garden, the Plaza, the Waldorf... ... electricity,excitement,fun. Catch the noon news in D.C. He's only magnificent. Four extra classes graduate the academy this year. Unions? Did I hear you say unions? Every municipal contract.... Harriet. You watching this? World Bank interest you more? Want to read about the convention in the Chicago Tribune? Well, okay. Okay then. Wait till you see his performance on the 6:00 news. When the train leaves the station... ... theTimes,goodand graylady that she is, will want to be onboard. What happened to you? I called you. You were down in the basement. I'm gonna get a washer at Orchard Supply... ... stopthemachinefromthunking. I'll eat when I get home. Okay. Be careful. Of course. Walk on through the wind Walk on through the rain Though your dreams be tossed And blown Walk on, walk on With hope in your heart And you'll never walk alone I know the water's rising. It's up to the floorboards. But I guarantee you... ... we'rebailingit outfasterthan we're taking it in. Let me call you back. I'll call you when we can talk at length. Anselmo just killed himself. And this is the original probation report. The one we were looking for. They found it in Anselmo's car. The police commissioner gave it to me. He didn't want it ending up as tomorrow's headline. ""Tino Zapatti. Recommended prison sentence: 1 0 to 20 years. "" -Check this one out? -This one's kosher. The story ends where it began. White-shoe lawyer, Brooklyn clubhouse boss. Walter Stern and Frank Anselmo. Don't see them in the same room. Something's still wrong, you know? I know. Before we nail up the house for the season... ... onemoredoortoclose. Afternoon, Mr. Calhoun. -Sorry, the judge left for the day. -Of course you're sorry. is that your signature? We record the receipt of all documents. What about phone calls? You keep a log of them? Take a minute for me, please. Look up the dates of Frank Anselmo's calls to this office. You're in the wrong pew, Mr. Calhoun. Frank Anselmo never called this office. What about the mayor? He's in his dressing room, Mr. Calhoun. Where you been? I was looking for you. Trying to get to Senator Marquand. Well, he got through to me. They're moving the convention to Miami. Miami? Why? They like Miami. Glamour. Whoopi Goldberg, Madonna just bought houses in South Beach. Maybe we can nominate them. I thought it was all cut. Cut, not cut. Politics. Nothing's cut. Where you going? I'm gonna pay my respects to Nettie Anselmo. Do you think that's wise? -What's wise got to do with it? -The perception-- Fuck perception! Talking menschkeit. Stuff between men. The ""there"" that's there. The thousand telephone calls. The bouquets and the brickbats. The space between a handshake. You know. Stuff that goes with you to your grave. There's space between a handshake for right and wrong? Why are you pressing me? I'm looking for an answer. You want an answer? Okay, Pappy. Think of it as colors. There's black and there's white. And in between is mostly gray. That's us. Gray's tough because it's not as simple as black and white. And for the media, certainly not as interesting. But it's who we are. What are you gonna do now? You mean ""we. "" We'll fight the sons of bitches. We're gonna come out swinging. We're gonna tell them, ""Hey! We're only human. Everybody makes mistakes. Frank Anselmo is dead. He was a friend... ... butthelast of the clubhouse bosses is gone. "" We're gonna clean up the Augean stables. We'll go to Miami... ... havethemon theirknees,beggingme to make the keynote speech. And then? A short sojourn to Albany... ... followedbyalongone at the White House. If I didn't know better, I'd be bursting with admiration. I thought I'd come in and find you on your knees. Instead, you're turning adversity into triumph. That's just a reflex. An old habit of mine. But it's still good to hear you say it. The way you say it too. ""Adversity into triumph. "" It's good to know you still believe in me. Did I say that? I don't know. I thought you did. Don't fathers listen to their sons? How is your father these days? I haven't heard you mention him for a while. Where is he? In a nursing home in Crowley, Louisiana. Plays dominoes with orderlies. Fulminates over his Cream of Wheat. Don't be too hard on him. We can't dictate our finishes. I don't like the sound of that. Of course you don't. Because underneath all that need to believe... ... underalltheconcrete you poured into my pedestal... ... somethingiscryingtogetout. What? You know I called Judge Walter Stern. Anselmo called me. I knew the Mafioso had called him, but in this business, you don't trade names. And I called Walter. That's all there was to it. I was doing Anselmo a favor. Run caution lights all my life. This time you ran a red, and someone cut across the intersection. A cop and a 6-year-old child. That's with me forever. That's not good enough. Not good enough? You think I don't know that? I hope so, John. Scares me when you call me John. Why's that? Because I... ... Ithoughtaminuteago we were off to the White House. I thought I could feel you come aboard. The old menschkeit. Horseshit. Menschkeit is horseshit. It's 1 20 years of graft and sweetheart contracts... ... featherbedsand inside information... ... andeverywherepeopleinpower gather to carve up the turf. That's your menschkeit. It's horseshit. You know where you can put it. Maybe spread it over the fields. If we cross our fingers, maybe a flower will grow. It has. Out of all this crap... ... youemerged. -You're the only voter i care-- -l'm getting that ""con"" feeling. -Like you're copping a plea. -No, come on. No plea. I'm just a pol who kept rolling along until he ran into a stone wall. You were that wall. And I realized... ... justlikeme whenIwasa kid . Young, ambitious, go-getter, but fair. Trading up, but always for the right causes. You're doing good. Not putting money in your pocket. Just trying to maintain your position. Your power. What good are you to the people without it? But down deep... ... youknowthere'saline you can't cross. And after a thousand trades... ... andonedealtoo many... ... thelinegetsrubbedout. I had the fire in the belly just like you, Kevin. And the odd thing is, I still have it. Never left me. I had the dream... ... andI hadtheweight. Like one of those guys before me said: ""lf a sparrow dies in Central Park, I feel responsible. "" Well said. I feel that way. I was gonna take that feeling with me... ... allthewaytoWashington. The things you could have done. Fucking things I could've done. You're gonna take yourself out, John. You're gonna take yourself out. Take a long vacation in Greece. Pick up the law again. Go the way of William O'Dwyer. He fucked up and played ambassador to Mexico. I'm not that ambitious. Then suck it up, and find some other way. Listen to you. I thought I'd see a boy's tears. The tears are there. Just can't see them right now. You got the stuff, Pappy. I love to see it in a guy. Kevin Calhoun for City Council. Voters of the 6th District... Kevin Calhoun. How are you? Kevin Calhoun. How about some literature? Kevin Calhoun. How are you, sir? Good afternoon. I'm running for 6th District. We got some important issues. We need to clean this place up. I'd love your vote. I'm running for City Council. Hello. Kevin Calhoun. -Running for City Council. -l'll vote for you. Good afternoon, ma'am. Will you be voting? -You're running in the 6th District? -l am. Well, 6th District is my district. I'm very interested in who'll represent me. I'm interested that you're interested. As Huey Long once said, and I quote: ""lf you got a friend, you got a vote. "" -Did he say that? -He sure did. He told me to move to the 6th District. He said the people are special. -So do I have your vote? -You can count on it. That's one. No. More than one, actually. I hear Elaine Santos is ready to stand up for you. Sounds like a groundswell. I wish I could tell you I won but I got thrashed by a Dominican from 104th Street. I got branded an outsider, and I was never in it. But I'll be back in 2 years, and I'll win. You know why? I'm willing to be lucky. And if you're willing to be lucky New York will give you a chance. English Subtitles by Gelula/sdl New York City. So many things have been said about it but there's only one I really like. "New York it can destroy you or fulfill you, depending a good deal on luck. " No one should come here unless he's willing to be lucky. And I got lucky. I had an apartment downtown, but home was City Hall. That's where it all began. The day started out like other days, with a ceremonial function. The mayor was giving the key to the city to the governor of Tokyo. - He liked soup for breakfast. Fish soup. My dad offered to put it on the menu. But, "No, no," Mr. Hayatama said who was a very gentle soul. "No, it would be too much trouble." My dad replied, "Too much trouble is no customers." The mayor, and he was the best mayor the city ever had, was my boss. I was his deputy mayor. His right-hand man. Or his boy depending on who was talking about me. But in Brooklyn something else was going on that would change everything. It started with a cop Eddie Santos, the toughest detective in Brooklyn North. He was on his way to a meeting with Tino Zapatti, a drug dealer whose only distinction was being a nephew to Paul Zapatti, a mafia boss. James Bone, a child on his way to school. Watch your step. Finally, Vinnie Zapatti, cousin to Tino a rat Detective Eddie Santos had in his pocket. - All set? - Let's go. It happened on the corner of Broadway and Marcy in North Brooklyn. - You ain't going out in no playground. - Please? - No, it's raining too hard. - Oh, man. Here comes our boy. Get out of the car. You said you wouldn't take him in. Just want to talk with him. Turn him away from me. Keep up with me. You can move faster than that. Yo, Tino! - Hey, how you doing? - What's going on? I got something for you. What the fuck is wrong with you? Hey, Tino. Two men dedicated to the lives of their families bridging the continents of Asia and Southern Europe... - Can it wait? - No, no, right now. Please. Two men, crossing two continents to meet in a third as we have here today the governor of Tokyo and the mayor of New York. Welcome to New York City the sushi capital of the world. Welcome. Enjoy. Sayonara. We got a shootout... Kid's dead. So's the dealer. And the cop? Not good. Whose bullet killed the child? We don't know yet. What's our ETA? Bellevue in 10, sir. How old was the... What was it, a boy? Six years old. And what was our budget as of midnight? $31.7 billion. It costs a lot to have our children slaughtered in the streets. Coming through. Step back, please. How's he doing? Just coming out of surgery. - Coming through. - Give them room. Step back. All the way. Where's the widow? She's not a widow yet. You'll introduce me. Combat Cross, Medal for Merit Honorable Mention, Department Medal of Honor. - Any kids? - Two. Five and three. A boy and a girl. Wife's name is Elaine. Elaine Santos. Which one is she? Don't point. In the red. The other's the sister. I'm John Pappas. - I'm so sorry. - Thank you. If there's anything we can do... - Which one was the shooter? - They're both shooters. One's dead, one's almost. We know the dealer. Tino Zapatti. It's Paul's nephew. Punk. - What happened? - Don't know yet. Detective Santos was signed out, that we know. But he carried no radio, wore no vest. - Any backup? - Zero. Total breach of department policy. What was the guy doing? Taking a meeting with a drug dealer? You got me. But it adds up to a dead kid and a dead nephew of the head of the Zapatti family. Here's a guy headed for Attica on a 10 to 20, and he cops probation. Probation? No jail time? Probation's a sentence in New York these days. Which he skips out on 2 years later. We've been looking for him ever since. The mayor will want to step up for the wife. I wouldn't do that if I were him. And who are you, again? Internal Affairs. Listen we can bury Santos. And if it turns out he was dirty, well good cop turns bad. Happens all the time. Sure. We'll give him a full-dress funeral, to boot. Who is she? A lawyer for the Detective's Endowment Association. I guess she'll be representing Eddie Santos and his family. - I was wondering when you'd ask. - You don't have to wonder anymore. Stop. - Shock him. - Clear. He's flat. This city takes care of its own. Set a press conference for 12:00. Make sure the Post takes the first question. You know what the first question will be "Whose bullet was it?" Call Senator Marquand, be cool. Tell him everything's under control. I'm just staying ahead of the curve. Abe, get a copy of Tino Zapatti's probation report. Which Zapatti is that? A nephew. One conviction, off on probation. A punk. We're headed for Park Drive. How's about we swing over to the FDR? We'll make better time. What's your pleasure? Where did the boy live? Give me a read on the boy's apartment. 515 South 5th Street. 5th Street. Marcy and Broadway. That's where we're going. We've got no advance, no protection. That's where we're going. I'm the mayor. Make room here, please. We need some help around here. - We need more police. - When you going to send us some help? Glad you're here, Mr. Mayor. The father's seated in the corner. I'm all yours, Leslie. Questions and answers. Who's up? - The Post. - Marx or Sadler? Sadler. Then I know what's coming. "Has probation become a sentence in this town?" Judge Stern has a powerful record. He served six years and meted out the stiffest punishments in the city. If the report recommends probation, then probation it has to be. After that, they'll start in on the mandatory crap. Good morning. I want to welcome the Revs. Williams and Birch... - You got the probation report? - In the office. I'll be there in a minute. - And my dear friend, Reverend Milton Parks of the First Church of Harlem Reverend Chapman and Reverend Murray. Thank you for coming here today. I know it wasn't easy for you. Well, what can I say? How do I start this? There is one thing, as Mayor that I will never get over and that is the death of a police officer. There is one thing in life that I will never get over and that is the death of an innocent child. But this is an incident that won't go away... Tino Zapatti's probation report. The whole city all parts of the city Bushwick, Jamaica, Washington Heights Brownsville, Harlem... This thing looks okay. Very okay. But there is a conviction. Criminal possession in the fourth degree. In the fourth degree. A 4-C. It's a probational offense. Practically a misdemeanor. Kevin, there are 4-Cs, and there are 4-Cs. You keep looking at that as if it weren't kosher. A cut of meat is kosher. A piece of fish. Savory foods are kosher. But a probation report is not kosher. A probation report is merely a probation report. I am a good Louisiana lapsed Catholic, Abe. Don't talk to me about kosher. Give it to me straight. What's wrong with this? It's too kosher. Translate that for me. The Virgin looks pregnant to me. Look. The supervisor signed this. So what? That's a lot of weight for a 4-C. So what happened to the original little probation officer? Where is his signature? Do you know this supervisor? His name is Schwartz. - A landsman of yours? - Landsman landsman. Stop trying your Yiddish out on me. You sound like a Shakespearean actor from a Savannah pogrom. - But do you know him? - Sure. But the trial was 2 years ago. I was long gone from the department. Hello, Larry. Good to see you. This is Deputy Mayor Calhoun. The first deputy mayor to set foot on this floor. We had a commissioner once, but it was the wrong floor. - May I have a seat? - Please, sit. Abe, you're already at home here. I think I know why you're here. I've logged 12 calls already. Tino Zapatti. - You want to know why I handled it. - Exactly. Because sometimes we get overloaded. And you take on the extras? The extra-specials. Such as Zapatti family members? Something like that. - Mr. Deputy Mayor... - "Kevin"'s good enough. Any case that comes here that looks like it's connected I take a special interest in. - Why's that? - To avoid making mistakes. You sure made one on this. I blew one, okay? I don't mind admitting it. But let me tell you something. I'd rather blow one in 100 than send 10 men away on mandatories who don't deserve them. You sound like an enlightened man. And you sound like you're fucking with me. You have anything to add, Abe? It's okay. You're doing fine. Everybody will want to know how these things happen. How long have you been on this job? Three years. Look, these things happen because we are awash here. In criminals, in half-baked social workers in a city that doesn't function, in a world that doesn't know right from wrong. - Mr. Schwartz? - Larry. I owe you an apology. No apologies. I came in here with a big head of steam. It was inappropriate. Look, it takes more than 3 years to get up to speed in this department. Only one man would have made a good probation officer: Kafka. And he wasn't available. Thank you, Larry. Call me if something opens up in the big building. You know, keep me in mind. He'll be right with you. South Brooklyn Democratic Club. I don't think it makes any difference whatsoever. Have your son stop by. I'll be happy to take care of it. Gussie, come on in. Hello, Mr. Anselmo. Thank you so much for seeing me. - You look beautiful. - Thanks a lot. - Let me get that. It's my pleasure. So how can I help you? - They're going to throw me out. - Who? - Morty Brill. - No one'll throw you out. He says I'm under-occupied. Can I help it if my daughter moves out? Isn't she entitled to a life of her own? Of course. How is Helene? - Still working at the navy yard? - Thanks to you. So what can you do for me, Mr. Anselmo? Well, it's simple. See that Mr. Brill obeys the law. You're grandfathered in over there. If he says you're not, call me. A landlord like Morty Brill looks for ways around rent control. How would he understand a law meant for working stiffs like you and me? Thanks, Mr. Anselmo. Thanks a lot. Mr. Schwartz is right outside. Thanks, Clara. - I'm sorry. - Would you come speak to my club? Which club? Terrible Tiles Mahjong Club. How many Tiles belong? 112. You got it, sweetheart. - Just tell me when. - Fantastic! You'll come for dinner before? - I'll make a brisket. - I love brisket. Get home safe. Well, I'm taking a cab anyway. Thanks again. Hello, Larry. - I got to see you, Frank. - Well, here I am. How about a cup of coffee? No, thanks. We got to talk. Are you finished here? Well, the business of government is never finished. Come on, let's take a walk. Mister A! How are you, Milton? I'm as corny as Kansas in August I'm as normal as blueberry pie No more a smart little girl With no heart I have found me a wonderful guy Speaking of blueberry pies bring us a couple, Milton. You, à la mode? No, thank you. I don't want any pie. Apple for him. And coffee, Milt. - What's the matter? - You know, Frank. You look terrible. You should take a vacation. I don't want a vacation. I got 18 years in, you know? I save up my time. I put in my hours. I'm eligible for pension in 6 months. I don't want any vacation. So what is it? Get the deputy mayor off my ass. "Shrimpboats"? Him. Yeah. You couldn't handle him? It was easy. That's what I'm saying. It was too easy. Don't throw bouquets at me Don't please my folks too much Don't laugh at my jokes too much People will say we're in love What was that? Milton and I are great Rodgers and Hammerstein fans. "When you walk through a storm, keep your head up high." It's not your signature on the probation report. Now watch your mouth. That was quite a risk you took. The guy was wrong. No, Mayor. I don't care if he is from New York. Tells off a Cabinet member like that he's your enemy for life. Secretary of Urban Development that's the hand that feeds the cities. You know, Senator they say a man's stature is determined by his enemies, not his friends. It also got you the cover of Time. You're going national Mayor Pappas. People magazine next. That "stature" thing. Who said that? I believe I did, a minute ago. I was having an acute attack of self-importance but it's about to come to an end because here's the man to cut me down to size. Kevin, we missed you. Sorry, folks. Didn't mean to interrupt you. Kevin's been busy today, I'll bet. This must be Mrs. Marquand. It's been quite a day for you. We don't want any stray bullets around Madison Square Garden. Ignore the senator. He keeps a little anchor to windward. Don't we all? Shouldn't we return to the burning issue of the day? The convention? We'll turn this city upside down for you. We'll stage the right kind of convention. What kind is that? The kind that'll reelect the President. Where will you go? Second cities, like Chicago? Resonating with memories of Hubert in '68? California? The land of Jerry Brown and Tom Hayden, that nominates a Mondale. You could go to Miami, but it's Casablanca. We'll make you a winner right here. You're not a New Yorker, are you? Ferriday, Louisiana. Huey Long country. "Every man a king," but no one wears a crown. I love this guy. Thank you so much. Lovely evening. Kevin, give me a call in the morning. I need some stuff for the New York Times. An editorial lauding our choice of convention city. The President loves a good Times editorial. - Let me assure you... - The vote's in. We got it. Let them catch their shuttle. I'm sure they're running late. - Thank you. - Thank you so much. MacNeil-Lehrer, Friday night. Zapatti's bullet killed the child. It wasn't the cop. That's it! That's what passes for good news these days. I'll take it. I saw Tino Zapatti's probation report. Exemplary, but an odd thing: It's front-loaded. - With who? - With supervisory personnel. But it's signed off on by an honest judge. - Judge Walter Stern? - Yes. Thank God. I'm meeting Frank Anselmo for breakfast. - Oh, good. Where? - Woerner's. Woerner's? - The hangout at Borough Hall? - That's it. When you go to Brooklyn, you're Frank Anselmo's guest. Don't piss up his leg. Just get him off this infrastructure thing. Nothing wrong with it just unaffordable right now. Good work tonight. Mrs. Marquand couldn't stop talking about the cover of Time. I think she collects them. National ink, the mother's milk of politics. Did I hear right, or did we get the convention? It's not signed and sealed but it is delivered. And you were the closer. I thought I had him with the second city stuff. Of course you did. You know why? It belongs here. New York City. This is the place. Excuse me. All right, the story's on the 10:00 news. A little slow. A bullet took the life of an innocent 6-year-old on his way to school during a police action. They're all over it like a cheap suit. It's going to stick to us like one too. 6- year-old James Bone on his way to school. Ballistics from the police lab confirm the wayward bullet that killed the boy came from Zapatti's gun... Here you are, Mr. Zapatti. Michael find Vinnie. I want to have a little talk with him. Yesterday, on the corner of Broadway and Marcy Street, gunfire broke out claiming 6-year-old James Bone along with 21-year-old Tino Zapatti a convicted felon on probation and a 32-year-old police detective, Eddie Santos. The Police Commissioner has disclosed that an investigation is underway into Santos' activities. Question: What was Santos doing with a drug dealer wanted for probation violations? Good morning. It will raise serious questions of corruption in the courts. Stern gave Tino Zapatti, a drug dealer probation instead of sending him to prison. The question everyone is asking because of this unusual disposition is why did the judge do that? Good morning, Mrs. Santos. I'm Marybeth Cogan. We met at the hospital. That's Randy and Maria? These are my kids. - Please sit down. - Thank you. - I'm sorry to have to talk to you here. - It's all right. Hear from anyone in the department today? A couple of the guys. What did they say? I called to pick up his things from the precinct. They said his locker was sealed. But the captain came to see me. He was very nice. What captain? Homicide South. Eddie's commander. He's required to call on the widow. Is anything wrong? Don't talk to anyone without checking with me first. Okay? We're in the wrong business. You get lost? There's a key to downtown Brooklyn, but I sure don't have it. Murray, Lenny, you know Kevin. Kevin, this is Dan. Kevin, how are you? Tex, sit down. Take a load off. Louisiana, Murray, for the umpteenth time. Can't take a joke? Jimmy! What'll you have? Oatmeal with skim milk, bananas, brown sugar. So what's new? I'll give you the headlines. Standard Poor's going to lower the city's credit rating. We're going to close two firehouses. Results: 150 demonstrators at City Hall. The park commissioner has quit to run the San Francisco Ballet. The stock exchange insists on leaving town. Plus a zillion other little rancid goodies. Plus a kid got shot. - And a drug dealer. - And a cop. No wonder the deputy mayor's here in Brooklyn. Well, but he's very welcome. The stock exchange, where are they removing to, my boy? White Plains, they mutter. They've been muttering that for years. One day they'll stop muttering and go. That's why we need city land for BankExchange. - No argument, Lenny. - And a subway stop. And an off-ramp from the expressway. The city's $25 billion in debt. We're in no position to build off-ramps. 3,000 workers, you don't want to build a subway stop? What's your interest in this? Did you buy a few options around the city property? Of course he did. So did every other developer in town. Notwithstanding that, Mr. Deputy Mayor if you don't transport their employees BankExchange will dump this deal and forget about New York and put up their 60-story building in New Jersey instead. So be it. The mayor loves BankExchange, but can't afford infrastructure. You're flying in the face of real politics. Subways get people to jobs. Jobs mean votes. I thought John Pappas liked votes. He loves votes, Frank. But no infrastructure. Much as the city approves of a subway station and off-ramp it can't pay for them. - Where are you going? - I have an appointment in Manhattan. This meeting's over? I heard you say no. Can I offer you a ride? No, thanks. I make it quicker on the train. Here he comes. Judge Stern! Why did you give Tino Zapatti probation, your honor? Why did you go soft on the drug charge? Is probation a sentence in this town? They're burying little James Bone. Are you going to the funeral? Get me the file on Tino Zapatti. Mr. Deputy Mayor I'm Marybeth Cogan. "Detectives Endowment Association, Legal Affairs, Co-Counsel." Very nice card. I represent Santos, and you're muddying my client's name. - Take it up with Corporation Council. - And get it buried? You should tell the mayor someone's taking him up the wrong street. Maybe we could explore this in more detail. Maybe over coffee. I'm talking about a hero detective and his widow's pension. Why don't you wait in my office? No, I don't think so. I'll expect to hear from you in the morning. No, no, that's wrong. It won't go away unless you do something about it. This is a crisis that could derail us. The way Willie Horton sunk Dukakis Tino Zapatti can sink us. Good afternoon. Where you been? My Brooklyn meeting. How'd it go? I think I just pissed up Frank Anselmo's leg. And? Felt good. Okay, Leslie. Tomorrow's Times, Post and News are all keeping the shooting on the front page. What'd you expect? Nothing short of a triple axe murder will take it off. Keep feeding the press, morning and night. Emphasize our tough stand on crime. The 20% drop in homicides and street crime last year. Also, Stern's record. Hard-line. Good, Kevin. Corporation Council? We've commissioned a study that'll prove this city has the toughest probation guidelines in the country. Excellent. Get Community Affairs involved. Tell Parks clean up their playgrounds. Hover, nudge, show we care. And then we got to do something concrete. Something big, something important. Something that means jobs. That means building BankExchange. I won't let these shootings interfere with my program for the city. I'm speaking at the boy's funeral. James Bone's funeral. That's a blueprint for trouble. I don't care. It's the right thing to do. I don't think you'll be welcome there. They got me anyway. Let's go to work. Kevin, I need you. So what happened? Frank Anselmo and his real-estate cronies is what happened. They want the subway stop to raise their land value on city property. The property around BankExchange? And? Anselmo said, "No subway stop no BankExchange." - And you said? I thought we could keep Anselmo on the back burner but we need BankExchange. We need jobs. We need that money going into the community. Given the situation at Broadway and Marcy it's politically expedient. The hell with politically expedient. I'm talking about a 60-story building that will employ 3,000 people. It'll put food on the table. That's what counts. That's what we're about. That's BankExchange. That's all it is. You said we can't afford a subway stop. That'll take politics. More than one way to skin a cat. Get in there. Keep that staff fired up. You're the boss. What are you doing tonight? Hadn't thought about it. You ever see Carousel? The musical? You serious? A little before my time. You'll love it. Frank Anselmo will be there. I'm free. George Frank Anselmo's in there. Tell him to come up. I want to see him in the lobby. Just list them for me. That's all. Let me get back to you. We're missing the best part. You know it by heart. I saw you lip-synching. Well, lucky I do. I couldn't hear all the words. I don't know if it's my old ears, or the subway underneath. - Did you like the Billy Bigelow? - He's good. Good voice. What'd you think of the Julie Jordan? Good act, no voice. My Nettie could sing better. We met 25 years ago, Westbury... I heard about that. Speaking of performances, Frank. I don't want to hear about another one like this morning. Your boy embarrassed me. You'll have to live with it. - Why? - Because he's my boy. There's oil under that vacant lot, Frank. Jobs. You don't need to politic me. I run Kings County. Jobs for people of this city. Not leases for Lenny, Murray and all your greedy pals. Just because this kid thinks he can elect you President you're going to forget who got you here? I don't forget anything. You're developing a short memory. Or a selective one. You want me to refresh it for you? I'm sorry, John. Here it is. The off-ramp costs me five million. Another $35 million for the subway stop. You'll get some from me. The rest I got to beg Albany. I got better things to beg for from Albany. I got a solution. How about a spur off the Canarsie Line? - Are you crazy? A spur is $ 120 million a track mile. BankExchange is good for the poor. It's good for the jobless. It's good for the whole city. As for subway stops, infrastructure, off-ramps we can't afford it. Then, you'll have to forget the whole thing. I love the second act opener. Then you won't want to miss it. "This Was a Real Nice Clambake." I'm building up my IOU's with Albany. The governor needs to step up with a new subway stop or I won't support him for reelection. And the off-ramp? Next year. - It's already in my budget. - Next year's too far. You're only a boss, Frank. I'm the fucking mayor. Mayors rule. BankExchange. My way or the highway. Why do I get the feeling you're getting the bigger half? Let me ask you something. If I'd have offered you less would you have been polite and taken it? Of course. You got what you wanted. I like to kiss the pretty ones. There's another pretty one. You got BankExchange. - How did you know? - I saw the kiss. I saw the smile. How'd you get it? I didn't say no. But he'll take a bath on those leases. It'll just take him longer. - Something for him, something for me. - More for you? No, no. More for the city. Hey, cigar. Sneaking in a drink for Sydney? I was. Now they're both for me. Helps Frank Anselmo go down. Off-ramp and a subway stop already budgeted for. But I'm left holding the bag. What are you complaining about? The bag's full of cash. Minus a year. You can weather a year. You can weather 100 years. I've got partners. You're my partners. You're holding so many options on land you could buy Brooklyn. You could probably buy Staten Island too. Would you excuse us, please? Of course. I got an appointment anyway. Good. Then it works out nicely. You sure BankExchange is all set? We got everything we wanted. Now you can get something else for me. - What's that? - My name out of the papers. How? With $40,000. What am I going to do with $40,000? Let me ask you a question. You ever heard of a cop with $40,000? Who wasn't crooked? A cop with $40,000 would make big headlines. Say hello to Nettie for me. I will. - Take care. - All right. That's for the dead cop. Reverend Chapman will introduce me? With one sentence. And then what? Get out of here. - And which way is that? - Side door. No. Out the front. Is that a good idea? Intel's out there and they say people aren't happy. Sisters brethren. The mayor of the city of New York the Honorable John Pappas. Thank you, Reverend. I was warned not to come here. I was warned. They warned me "Don't stand behind that coffin." But why should I heed such a warning when a heartbeat is silent and a child lies dead? "Don't stand behind this coffin." That boy was as pure and as innocent as the driven snow. But I must stand here because I have not given you what you should have. Until we can walk abroad and recreate ourselves until we can stroll along the streets like boulevards congregate in parks free from fear our families mingling our children laughing, our hearts joined until that day, we have no city. You can label me a failure until that day. The first and perhaps only great mayor was Greek. He was Pericles of Athens and he lived some 2,500 years ago and he said "All things good of this earth flow into the city because of the city's greatness." Well we were great once. Can we not be great again? I put that question to James Bone and there's only silence. Yet could not something pass from this sweet youth to me? Could he not empower me to find in myself the strength to have the knowledge to summon up the courage to accomplish this seemingly insurmountable task of making a city livable? Just livable? There was a palace that was a city. It was a palace. It was a palace and it can be a palace again. A palace in which there is no king, or queen or dukes, or earls, or princes, but subjects all. Subjects beholden to each other to make a better place to live. Is that too much to ask? Are we asking too much from you? Is it beyond our reach? Because if it is then we are nothing but sheep being herded to the final slaughterhouse. I will not go down that way. I choose to fight back! I choose to rise, not fall. I choose to live, not die. And I know I know that what's within me is also within you. That's why I ask you now to join me. Join me. Rise up with me. Rise up on the wings of this slain angel. We'll rebuild on the soul of this little warrior. We will pick up his standard and raise it high. Carry it forward until this city your city our city his city is a palace again! Is a palace again! I am with you, little James. I am you. Thank you very much. Terrible thing to bury a child. Your trip to Washington. The stuff for the Convention Committee. History of New York City for Senator Marquand. Reservation at the Willard Hotel. Lincoln stayed there, by the way. Enough about me. Enough about me. What are you going do tonight after I'm gone? I don't know. I hadn't thought about it. You're going to get yourself a good meal. You're going to pass up that double cheeseburger from Roy Rogers. You're going to go to Dominic's and get take-out, on me. Get a decent meal. But before you go to Dominic's, go to Macy's and get a chair with legs and arms. That apartment of yours looks like it belongs in a homeless file. Then it's off to Crate and Barrel for a knife a fork, a spoon and a glass while you're at it. Then I'll need a dishwasher. Just throw them out after you finish eating. It's on me. Get a life. I've got yours. It's quite enough. You read this? Today's Times editorial? "Judge or be Judged"? "Notwithstanding Judge Stern's distinguished record one must ask, 'Would he be on the bench if he were not a former law partner of the mayor's? '" I didn't appoint him. He was nominated, like everybody else. Everybody knows the party arranges nomination of judges. Whose side are you on? I'm on yours and I always will be. But I smell a hanging party. We should put distance between ourselves and Walter Stern. - Distance is shit. Distance! Distance is something you do to your enemies. It's the thing of the '90s to make friends extinct. Distance is the absence of Menschkeit. Translate that for me. You don't know what Menschkeit means? I don't. Menschkeit. You know, something between men. It's about honor, character... Untranslatable. That's why it's Yiddish. I didn't know you'd taken up the language. Abe laid it on me. Abe's a good man. You're a good man, Pappy. Underneath that Louisiana cane syrup plain red dirt. Not that different from the pavements of Astoria, where I'm from. You and me are sticking by Judge Walter Stern. Man, thou art dust and to dust thou shalt return. If there's anything I can do please feel free to call. - Thank you. - It's the least we can do. Good morning. Where's the mayor? He had to go Washington on convention business. This rates an inspector's funeral and that includes the mayor. The mayor's absence in no way diminishes his concern for Mrs. Santos and her children. Where'd they get all that stuff from in the newspapers? At school they tell my girl her daddy was a drug dealer. We'll get our press people right on it. What about Internal Affairs? What are those clowns doing? Where you going? - City. - I thought we were in the city. Not if you're from Queens. Let's start over. Where you going? Manhattan. Hop in. Go fuck yourself. Not to be disrespectful but the Transportation Department wasn't prepared for 1,000 people. 999. We were expecting the mayor. You're just going to wait for an hour then ride a bus, then slepp on a subway... Schlep. "Schlep." Not "slepp." "Schlep." Get the gumbo out of your Yiddish. How do you feel about the L.I.E.? I hate the L.I.E. Take the Grand Central. Catch it at Astoria Boulevard. Go ahead, I'll show you. Santos was a good cop. You're doing a vile thing. It's wrong to blame a dead cop and steal a widow's rights. You keep saying that. Nobody's doing anything. You've got all the answers. Don't even have the questions yet. Well, I got a question for you. You hungry? Swing by that diner up there. The North Star. Best Philly steak sandwiches in New York City. Or do you call them Philadelphia steak sandwiches? Who we going to meet here? What are you talking about? You surface in front of my car at the cemetery. You show just enough leg so I'd stop. And the Grand Central is the long way around. Who we going to meet? Albert Holly. He was Eddie Santos' partner two years ago when Tino Zapatti got probation. Thank you. Eddie got ahold of something, he wouldn't let go. Eddie Santos was a pit bull. Pit bulls are ugly, but they're not stupid. What was he doing without backup? It wasn't the first time he'd taken Tino down. He'd never had a problem with him before. Somehow, Tino must have got the drop on him. It happens. Why didn't he tell anyone he was going up there? Because it was his collar. He made that case against Tino, then the judge went south. There is no way Tino Zapatti could have walked two years ago unless unless interested parties had the judge in their pocket. Walter Stern is a jurist of national reputation. I don't care if he's Oliver Wendell Holmes. Somebody got to him. And based on that one interview you were able to come to the conclusion stated in your testimony? That, and the VA records, yes. Do you mind passing this on to the judge? Based on only one interview? The defendant has a lengthy, documented case... Please answer the question. - Would you restate the question? - All right. Based on that one interview you were able... Where are you going with this? Your Honor, the witness interprets the defendant VA record one way our psychologist interprets it another. So much for expert witnesses. Let's take a break. 2:30 all right for everybody? I see you've already met Peter Ragan, my law clerk. He's written some of my best opinions. He appeared before me first time I presided over the moot court at Yale. You could say Peter and I are joined at the hip. Thanks, Peter. Please have a seat. Thank you for seeing me, Judge Stern. And how can I help you? Tino Zapatti. What about him? How did he get off with probation? I can only sentence in accordance with the conviction. He was convicted of criminal possession of the fourth degree. They found a kilo in his car. Is it your intention to try the case again? Not at all. But I read the rap sheet. I am certified to this state as a Supreme Court judge and you're sitting here rearguing a 2-year-old case. You're out of line, and I'll so inform the mayor. I'm here on the mayor's behalf. You think I've slept the last two nights? Don't you realize I know what a mistake I made? That's it. Satisfied? No basement or anything? You saw it, the rumpus room. With the pool table? That's right, Captain. I'm only doing my job. I'm very sorry... Oh, sorry, crap! You're snooping around like a Nazi. Please, you know this is the last thing I wanted to do. Then get the hell out of Internal Affairs and get yourself an honest job. Marybeth? Two-bars has been here all morning. He went over the place from top to bottom. You got to do something about Eddie's pension. They're going to reduce it. What about the Police Memorial Award? The precinct says it goes to the next of kin. Well, this piece of brass isn't here to give me any award. $40,000 in cash was found in Detective Santos' strongbox here at his summer cottage in Ulster County. Emergency Service Unit workers... Frank? Yeah, I'm up at the cabin. They found the money. Good work. I'm watching it now. What is the connection to the deaths of James Bone and Tino Zapatti? What was Santos doing with $40,000? The mayor understands the implications of the discovery in Ulster County but would like to stress that these are implications only. Can you believe this shit? We never set foot in that dump after Eddie's father died. - It's full of hornets' nests. - Yeah, busy hornets. Never in our life did we see $4,000 cash much less 40. There's only 2 people know that's not Eddie's money. You and me. Who is this? Vinnie Zapatti. I can get you out of this. I can get you the pension, the medals. You want them? Sure, sure, I want them. Good. Now, I liked Eddie and I want to help you, but you got to help me. What's that mean? An airplane ticket and $ 10,000. $ 10,000! For God's sake, I can't... - That's a lot of money, what've you got? - Who are you? Marybeth Cogan, Detectives Endowment Association. I represent the Santos family. What have you got? I made the meeting for Eddie with Tino so he could give up what he knew about the judge. And what was that? 10,000 and a plane ticket. I'll give you the destination later. Your information is worthless unless I can bring a witness. Which Zapatti are we meeting? Paulie had two brothers. Tino was John's boy, Vinnie is Jimmy's. So Vinnie and Tino are cousins? That's right, cousins. They have cousins in Louisiana? Down there, we're all cousins. If you got a cousin, you got a vote. Then why not run for office instead of carrying the mayor's bag? I consider it an honor not only to carry his bag but also to fill it with things I think the city needs. Oh, the kingmaker. The man behind the throne. I'm beginning to suspect you don't like politicians. You're no politician. They run for office. You're a walker. Take a right at this gas station because we are almost there. Thank you. Vinnie sure likes strange places. It looks like Monday night in Key Largo. He's impersonating Mafia. Vinnie Zapatti's a joke to his uncle but a dangerous joke. As far as I'm concerned, they're all dangerous jokes. Do me a favor and don't write them off just yet. I said they were dangerous. Wonder what Vinnie's doing in a place like this? Wonder what we're doing in a place like this. - This is it. - Where's our boy? - I don't know. - Think Vinnie had a change of heart? If he's a Zapatti, he has no heart. - Let's go. - Don't turn around. Marybeth, right? Who's this? He's the deputy mayor. Deputy mayor? What do I need you for, then? Don't get smart. I'm the only chance you got. All right. Let's go. This a Searider? What, you know boats? I worked on a shrimper like this. This ain't no Searider. It's a piece of shit. They call it a Surfrider. I wanted a Searider, but my uncle wouldn't pop for it. Your uncle like boats? Who? Paulie? Paulie wouldn't know a cleaver from a fucking cleat. It was my dream, you know. Free of the goombahs. Run a charter in the islands. Eddie was going to help me. You and Eddie? That's a strange marriage. He was only going to find clients. I'll tell you something. If I'd met him earlier, I'd never be in this mess. If only Tino hadn't whacked Eddie. Know why he was there that morning? Santos wasn't there to take Tino down. He was there to get information on the judge. How do you know? I was there that morning. What information on the judge? That you get with $ 10,000 and a plane ticket. Come up with it by tomorrow. This meeting is adjourned. Let us bring you in. We'll put you in the Witness Protection Program. No, thanks. I got my own Witness Protection Program. Morning. The sharks are already circling. Another Zapatti washed up. They fished him out of the 79th Street Basin. Victim's hands were bound in a 3-inch chain, ship's chandlery type. Forensics reveal blows from a blunt instrument. Where have you been? - Had a busy night. - I'm sure you did. Read this morning's operations printout? What about it? I was with Vinnie Zapatti last night. He's dead because of Tino Zapatti's probation report. Now there's four deaths. They're connected. - That's all I know... - That's all I want to know. Just trying to circle the wagons. Circle the wagons? Who do you think you are? Some gumshoe in a dime novel loose-cannoning around the city? Consorting with known mobsters! Kevin, for God's sakes! You're the mayor's right hand! What are you fucking around for? You see this desk? It belonged to Fiorello LaGuardia, "the little flower." He was about five-foot tall. Used to read the funny papers to children over the radio and was about the best mayor the city ever had. Know what LaGuardia said? "Why is it every time you can do some good the nice people come in and mess you up?" Be nice. Don't mess me up. - Did I wake you up? - You kidding? I've been trying to figure out how to raise $ 10,000. The hook is in, and I'm close. Vinnie is Eddie's passport to an honorable death. - All I got to do... - Vinnie's dead. - Murdered. - What? Vinnie Zapatti's dead. He washed up near the 79th Street Basin. - Oh, God. - Heads up. Call when you get to your office. Taxi! Bronx. Take East River Drive. Now look. I don't have a lot of time. I cleared it with the captain. Take all the time you need. You're pulling rank on me? Still looking for a new shoe size? I know all the jokes. Cement C. What I need now are the straight lines. The police commissioner works for the mayor. - What is your point? - Trust me or fuck you. Stand up. I just need to see how many people that I'm talking to. It's just me. All right. Eddie called me from Manhattan South. The night before? He wanted me to come up there with him. You didn't go. - You did the right thing. - No, I didn't. He had no business there without a ghost. That should have been me, plus backups. But Eddie was such a hothead... I mean the kind that never cools off. What do you want to tell me? There was another probation report. This one it set Tino up for the max, 10 to 20. What happened to it? I don't know. Who wrote it? That's all I got. The probation officer... Name? James Wakeley. You won't find him on Leonard Street. Where is he? Upstate, working parole. I told you not to come up here. You made a long trip for nothing. Do you want to tell me the truth now or under oath? You looking to grow brass balls, miss? I'm doing well without them. Do you want a subpoena, or may we continue? What brought you here from Leonard Street? New York State Parole Officer. Better pay and pension. - Nicer surroundings. - Think so? - What happened to Tino Zapatti? - He's dead, isn't he? I'm talking about 2 years ago. He got probation. What sentence did you recommend? Ten to twenty. I saw the rap sheet. Tino was pushing drugs to kids. Not doing it himself, but having kids deal for him. Weapon from a previous homicide? Disappeared in the second report. Who ordered it? That I don't know. Why didn't you ask? Sudden urge to move to the country. I forgot about it. Now if you'll excuse me you'd better get out of here. My lumbago tells me that snow is coming. You better hurry. Buffalo gets socked in pretty fast. Thank you for your time. Watch your step. It's slippery. Thank you. - How long? - About an hour. You don't want to suffocate in a tunnel. They got to dig one out ahead. Meanwhile, enjoy the snow. We can't eat snow. - Try that diner over there. - Any good? Lemon pudding's not bad. Be back in half an hour. Like a sauna in here. - My toes are like icicles. - Warming up? Slowly. What'll it be? A burger, fries and a Coke. How is the lemon pudding? - Homemade. - I'll give it a shot. - To go. - You got it. Say, why is this called The Floyd Diner instead of Floyd's Diner? Because you're in Floyd, New York. Who'd have thunk it? Floyd, New York. Like Clyde, New Jersey. Could you imagine spending your life in a place like this? I can. I grew up in one. Ferriday, Louisiana. There's something special about small-town life. So what are you doing in New York? Every Louisiana boy catches politics like a disease. I didn't know that. That's a fact, and I was no exception. After law school I headed where? Floyd, New York. Washington. Leapfrogged from staffer to congressional assistant until the mayor of New York City came down to testify. And he gave a speech that day that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I went up to him and told him I admired him and what he stood for and while I was thanking him he asked me if I liked stone crabs. Halfway through dinner I had a job. At the end of dinner, I felt like I had a new home. And here we go. I hear the curve in your voice. I've been with Pappas for 3 years and I finally found a place where you can make a difference. Well, you did. You made a difference to Elaine Santos. You cleared Eddie's name, got their pension. Yeah, but not so fast. We got to keep Wakeley on ice till I find that report. We don't need the report. We just take Wakeley's deposition. No, that's all you need. I got to get that report see where it leads. What if, while you're playing detective Wakeley decides it'd be healthier to disappear? Then we're left with nothing. How's Elaine supposed to feed her kids? That's a risk we must take. I don't need you to get Wakeley's deposition. If you talk to him on your own you'll feel the full weight of the mayor's office upon you. It's not a pleasant feeling. You're a mean prick, you know that? Where I come from, that's a compliment. Hold on a minute. To what? Your ambition? John Pappas' coattails? Burger, fries, Coke and a lemon pudding. I'll take these. The mayor's boy gets the lemon pudding. Mr. Schwartz? Kevin Calhoun. I've just been talking to a friend of yours. - I've got the probation report. - Where are you? Right around the corner. Meet me at Franklin and Hudson. Schwartz? - George. - Abe called me. He's in the back. That's the only way in. The back door's gated. All right. I got a couple marriages. Abe. It's your play! Throw the card for me. You've been practicing all your life. Freddie, give us a minute. He's dead! Schwartz is dead. I heard it on the phone. I was... Get ahold of yourself. It's okay. You were right. You knew it from the minute we saw him that day. It wasn't kosher. There was a second report. That was only a feeling. Now it's a fact. 5 people are dead. Stern looks so judicial. How could he be so corrupt? The sweater unravels. I'll give you one this time. "The only thing new in this world is the history you don't know." New Testament? Harry Truman. Judge Stern's a good man. He's good? 5 people are dead! - What's your point? - You throw the book at the guy. Embrace Detective Santos. Max death settlement for her. Medal of Honor for the deceased. I'll make sure Leslie makes the morning editions with it. So you got this all figured out? - That's my job, isn't it? - That's cold. That's cold. I mean you don't just... It's more complicated than that. Forgive me. I know the two of you are old friends. Be careful how you judge people. Most of all friends. You don't sum up a man's life in one moment. There are no cold answers, are there? There's no simple yes or no. A man's life is not the bricks, it's the mortar. It's the stuff that lays between. The stuff... The stuff you can't see. I've known Walter my whole life. God! He's a decent man. - He's a good man. - But this is tough stuff. This is body bag stuff. Tell me if there's some other way. There's isn't. Die's been cast. It was cast a long time ago. Go easy. Give him a blindfold and have mercy. Walter Stern was a tough man, but he was fair. We give back the same. No? And you be careful. Keep George with you. Let him drive. I got to go in here. I knew James Wakeley would surface just as I knew when that bullet hit that boy it would keep traveling. And find its way... To me. If only it had found me first. It is not the way of a lust people ! How could you lie to me, you butcher ! How could you make me love you ? I did not give you permission to leave ! She doesn't need anyone's permission. Let her go ! Enough of this childishness ! Throw them in the slave pits ! I shall dispose of you myself ! You like scaring people, pal ? Why don't you let me show you how it feels ? - It's Storm ! The rings ! If she damages them further, she'll undo all she healed ! Polemachus will be devastated ! Storm, stop ! Please ! Storm, listen to me ! What you're doing is wrong ! If you want this dirt pile to still be here in the morning, friend, I'd get us some of those glowing golf balls right now ! You'll hurt innocent people ! Arkon's making you act against everything you believe in ! Please, Storm, he's not worth it ! You are right. Forgive me. Come on, let's get out of here. Storm ! Please ! Storm, I can get anything, riches beyond your imagining, our world will worship you ! We are going home. You will be nothing on Earth, cast out and despised, feared and reviled for your gifts ! What of the slaves, Arkon ? The slaves ? What are they to our happiness ? Everything, Arkon. I am offering you a world ! Don't be a fool ! The slaves are nothing. No living being has the right to enslave another. One day you may understand. - What have you done ? - A royal wedding gift, from the heart. To the ships ! To the ships ! Storm ! My dearest Topanga, it's day 58 of my summer road trip across this great country of ours with my dear brother, Eric. This may be the last entry in my travel log, as my road buddy is becoming ornery. Hi, Topanga. I don't know why Cory thinks I'm ornery. I'm actually, you know, pretty happy now that I've got the tape recorder and I don't have to listen to Cory yammer on for two months and 48 states about life on the road. And speaking of the road, here it is now. Tape recorder number 17. The golden rays of the sunset remind me of the golden highlights in your beautiful hair. You're insane! I mean, how is it that everything you see in this country reminds you of Topanga? Oh, you exaggerate, Eric. I mean, I did not mention her once during our tour of the White House. Hmm. "Topanga's got a desk just like Chelsea's." Well, I didn't say anything at the Kennedy Space Center. "Topanga's favorite movie is Apollo 13." Mount Rushmore? "Will you look at the lips on Teddy Roosevelt?" I said that out loud? You've Topanga-ed me to death, man! Well, I, for one, Eric, had a delightful summer, and there's a part of me that's sorry to see this trip end. Well, this trip is far from ended. Why are you stalling? I'm not stalling. I just want to make sure I don't miss anything in these here United States. Eric, we're three hours from home, you know? We said we'd be home tonight. Home. Mom, Dad, Morgan, our sister who loves us. How do you beat that? "Entering Pottstown, home of the world's largest yogurt cup." He beat it. Eric, listen to me. We have to go home, and here's why. I'm completely out of clean underwear. Eh, big deal. I ran out a week ago. I'm sitting pretty. Yes, but, you see, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've also run out of pants. I want to go home. I want you in pants! Well, are you happy, Eric? Your brother's wearing yogurt pants, and let me tell you something. One size does not fit all. Now can we please just go home? Hey, not so fast. They got a whole schedule of events here. What kind of events? It's a giant yogurt cup! Now, why can't you just experience something new you've never seen before? 'Cause I don't wanna? Look. 4:00, we have the parade of sprinkles, 6:00, we got the march of the dancing lids... I don't want to be here after dark. Just stand here... And smile. Say... Big pink spoon. "Big pink spoon." Well, I am proud to be on the arm of the grocery store manager of the year. If anyone deserves tonight's Grocey, it's you. Oh, thank you, honey, but it's really no big deal. You don't mean that. Do you? Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Matthews. Is Cory home yet? Nope. But soon, though. I know. According to tape 56, he should be home tonight. Late tonight. So is it okay if we wait? Well, actually, we were on our way out. That's okay, it's okay. I'm just going to take a hot bath. What? There's seepage at the trailer park. Shawn, I'd prefer that my son's friends didn't bathe in my home when I wasn't here. Or ever. Still in a bad mood, huh, Mr. M? What bad mood? Well, me and my dad noticed it when we were last at the market. You know, we were eating our free samples, like we always do... Whoa! Hey! Hey! Hey! Sticking your own toothpicks in our turkey and steak does not make them free samples. Fine! We'll just take our business elsewhere. Now, Mr. Eric from the city, uh, I'm flattered and everything, but why would a guy who's traveled back and forth across the state line be so keen on chatting up a small-town girl like me? Just because I've been made wiser by my experience on the open road, that doesn't make me any better than you. You know, the people that know me? I'm just plain simple. Like string. I collect string. Well, of course you do. You're perfect for each other. I can't get in the way of this. Clearly this is bigger than I am. Well, if I hurry, I can just make the parade of sprinkles. Eric, if you don't have to take the hitchhiker boy home, not more than five miles from here is Burlick, Pennsylvania. Tell me about this Burlick. Burlick, Pennsylvania, home of the world's largest... Yogurt cup. Hey, wait a second. You leave my girlfriend alone. I'm going to the parade. 8:00? Perfect. Ladies and gentlemen, mesdames et messieurs, Senores y Senoritas, Damen und Herren, the internationally-renowned Pottstown, Pennsylvania, parade of sprinkles! Look! The sprinkles is coming. Oh, they are beautiful! Hey, why is everybody wearing goggles? My eyes! Alan, I am so proud of you. "Grocey award-winning Alan" to you. I know the perfect place to put this. Ta-da! Well, there it is. Twenty years in the grocery business and I've reached the pinnacle of my profession. Um, Alan, when people win awards, aren't they usually happy? I was just a kid who took a summer job and kept getting promoted while I was trying to figure out what I really wanted to do with my life. Now it's 27 years later, and tonight, I won something. I won the realization that I am Alan Matthews, I am 42 years old, I am a grocer. You want to quit your job? Ah, I just want to take a hot bath. You don't want to get in that tub. It's disgusting. Uh, what... Excuse me. Could I have my robe back? Hey, I'm naked under here. Enjoy. A motel room. Only three hours from home. I should be in my room tonight, not in a motel room in the middle of nowhere, with a toilet seat that has not been sanitized for my protection. I don't believe that paper strip for a minute. Better? A little. I told you, we just got this room so I could clean up for my date tonight. Eric, I've been a good brother on this trip. I mean, I've indulged your little whims, I've been very supportive. Why're you doing this? I'm just not ready for the summer to end yet. Well, I am. I mean, I got a girlfriend. I got Shawn, I got school. I got a life waiting for me back at home. Yeah, you do. That must be nice, huh? I wasn't trying to make you feel bad. I know you weren't. I mean, I did this to myself. I didn't get into college, all my friends did. I don't have a job, so... See, there's really nothing for me to go home to. Hi. Hi. Are you ready? Uh, yeah, I am. Wait a minute, Eric, what are you saying? Cor, I'm not going home. Cory? Eric, please. Just come to your senses and tell me we're leaving. Oh, Cor, I have come to my senses. This place is great! I mean, it's got Irene, it's got soup, it's got pie, why would I ever leave? Eric, it's not your home. That's right, it's not. At home, I'm a loser. Here, I find happiness. You're trying to take it from me. No, Eric. You didn't find happiness. You just pulled off the road. I mean, you can't stay here for the rest of your life. You just pulled off the road. Maybe this is my exit. Look, Eric, we've been gone two months, all right? Mom and Dad are waiting. I think we owe it to them at least one of us shows up. You got money for the bus. Bus? I'm taking the car. Huh? Cory! Cory! Hey! Hey! You can't take the car. You don't know how to drive! Eric, what can happen? I lose control of the car and crash into, what, the world's largest Slurpee? Lay off my town. Eric. You're still here. Why wouldn't I be? We had a great night together, didn't we? Yeah, we did. I, um... I was thinking maybe you found someone more interesting and I wasn't going to see you again. Well, I think you're very interesting. That makes me happy. Uh, do you want to say hi to my friends? They're real eager to meet you. Oh, and the little hitchhiker boy is more than welcome to join us. No, this is where the little hitchhiker boy says goodbye. So, Eric, if you're staying, then there's nothing left to say except... I'll be the one driving through the corn field. Okay, fine, at least let me check to see if you have the right keys. What a moron. Well, you can take the keys, Eric, but you can't take my freedom! You don't have to worry about him. Nobody in this town will pick him up. Why? Well, 'cause everyone in town is here. Quaint. I like that. What? Well, that was nice. What was that for? You're different from any guy I've ever met. When you talk to me, you look in my eyes, and... And what? When I hear your voice, it sounds really smart, and that makes me feel special. Me, too. So, any time you're ready to open up, I'm ready to listen. I blame you. What? I blame you. I only kept this job to take care of you, you and the... And the, the... Kids? Yeah, the kids. I was just a bag boy who didn't have sense enough to leave. And now that's what I am for the rest of my life. Oh, Alan, what you do for a living is only a little of what you are. It's not mostly what you are. Well, then what am I, mostly? Mostly... You are a person that I love a whole lot. And I want you to be happy. Well, right now I am not happy settling for what I am. What the hell are we looking at? George... Hmm? Do you hate your job or what? No. The only job I ever hated was that horrible job as a bag boy at the supermarket. I'm certainly glad I had the sense to get out of that after about a day. You've been listening, haven't you? Voices carry. Seriously, George, I mean, you've been a teacher all your life. Do you still enjoy getting up in the morning? Oh, Alan... It would be very easy for me to tell you that I have dedicated the last 38 years to several thousand young minds, and that is my chief joy and reason for getting up in the morning. Except it isn't. I teach because I like it. And because it's fun for me. Ah, but when it stops being fun? Well, then I suppose I would look to my family and friends for support to help me find something new. Well, thank you, George. You've taught me something. And it was fun for me. Oh, who am I kidding? I mean, who would possibly stop and pick me up in the middle of rural Pennsylvania? Whoa! Young friend, how far art thou traveling? Me? Yes, thee. Uh, well, I'm going to Philadelphia. Well, I'm going as far as... That farmhouse there. That farmhouse there? Yes. That farmhouse there. I see. Well, I'm going to Philadelphia. Well, I could take you as far as... That farmhouse there. And that's very nice of you, but maybe I'll just wait for some form of transportation that involves combustion. I understand. But if you change your mind, I'll be at... That farmhouse there. Yes, but you see, if that's as far as you're going, then it does me no good. That is true. But my intent was just, and my heart is pure. Also does me no good. Frankly, that's the best darn pea soup I've ever had. Well, it's the soup that brings you in, but it's the pie keeps you here forever. I was only three hours from home. Oh. Oh! That is delicious! What kind is this? Pie. Pie. Well, you know, with food this good, you must have people lining up to get in here. Truth is, we're probably going to have to close her down. Irene? I'm afraid it's true. I mean, ever since they built the new highway, folks kind of just blow by this town. You know, they wouldn't if they knew how good your soup and pie are. I told you that. Okay, now, I don't know if this is anything, but when I was driving through Texas, I started noticing all these signs advertising the world's best chili, and, like, every mile, there would be another sign that would say, like, "100 miles to the world's best chili." "99 miles. 98 miles." So by the time I finally got there, I just had to have some of this chili. You see? It's pie. No, what Eric's saying is that we put signs up on our highway chatting up our soup and pie. You're a real smart young man, Eric. You think so? Why, sure. Now, certainly a man of the world like yourself feels more at ease in the big city, but a guy like you could do pretty well in a town like ours. You think so? Maybe I will stay for a while. Really? Yeah, you know, good woman, good friends, good pie. I think I could be happy here for the rest of my life. Eric. Let's see, do you really think you could be happy here? I'm already happy here, Cor. These people have taken me in. They've made me feel important. Back home, I'm just a loser who didn't get into college, but here, I could be king. Well, congratulations. I'll just tell Mom and Dad. I know they'll be so proud. I know I am. I'm the prince of Sprinkle Land. Hey. Soup and pie for everybody. The new guy's buying. Oh, man, this is good pie. I was three hours from home. Dad! Cory! Don't eat the pie. You'll never leave. Where is he? Oh, His Royal Highness? I believe he's holding court over there. Eric. Dad! Hey! Dad, these are the guys, and this is Irene. Hi. Nice to meet you, Irene. Guys. Uh, Eric, your mother and I decided that you were responsible enough to take your brother on the road for two months. Now, is this the way you thank us? I was going to call you in the morning and let you know my plans. I'll tell you your plans. You're going to get in your car and follow me home without stopping anywhere. Now. Come on. Um, actually, I'd rather stay here with Irene and the guys. Maybe we better do this in private. So, there's a lot of opportunity for a guy like me in this town? Well, I could use a nurse. Now, why don't you tell me what this is really about? I don't think you'd understand. Try me. I don't see the point in going back home. Why not? Because there's nothing there for me, Dad. I mean, I went to nursery school, grammar school, high school, for what? I mean, I didn't get into college. Everything I've done up until now has been a waste, and it's just too late to change who I am. Uh-huh. See, I knew you wouldn't understand. Hey, no, no, no, listen. This is something I understand real well. I mean, it's very easy to find some place that's comfortable and just stay there. Now, what's wrong with being comfortable? I mean, I think I could do pretty well settling in a place like this. But that's it, Eric! That's all you'd be doing, just settling. And over the years, you'd try and convince yourself that that's the life you really wanted, but you don't. I mean, you just stumbled into it, and you'll never love it. And one day, you'll realize that all you've done is settle, and you will not like yourself for that. I don't like myself now, Dad. What am I even going home to? To the support of your family and friends who'll help you find what you really want. I'm afraid to go home. Eric, you never have to be afraid to go home. How are you so sure? Because he's Dad. Yeah. That's mostly what I am. Let's go. They're up and on their way down. I told them you made blueberry pancakes. I didn't make blueberry pancakes. Oh, they're lucky we let them live here. Topanga, are you and Cory going to kiss? Morgan, I think that's very personal and we shouldn't talk about it. Come on, just between us girls. Right on the lips. Topanga, he's not going to have time for you. The man has been gone for two months and we have so much catching up to do, he's not even going to know you exist. Shawn! Cory! Hey! Hey! Good summer? Great summer. Lot of stories? Lot of stories. You miss me? I missed you. We still best friends? The best there ever were. Good. You see? You see? Hey, I'm talking to you! Jesus Christ! Loomis! I need you to come with me. Just a minute. It's Sophie. Sophie thanks I have a mistress. You're worried about that? If you lived with Sophie, you'd understand. Sometimes I yearn for our bachelor days in the army. We were happy there, no? Well, I was happy! But you- I wonder If you've ever been happy. No. It's not Sophie that worries me today. Then what? - Who is he? - I thought he was you. Especially when we couldn't find you. Then one of my men told me you were at Major Lescourt's funeral. I thought it was a sick joke. I almost fired him. - But who is he? - A good question. Come on. We are talking to witnesses. Apparently he was being chased. There's evidence he had been tortured. His death was not an easy one. Here's the bag, sir. This was found in the victim's pockets. These matches are from the Hotel Chevre d'Or. - Our men are there now. - Let's go. Alain, walt. This is not your case. I'm not sure I want you involved at this point. I am involved! Did you see his face? Are you coming or what? Monsieur Suverov, thank God! This man told me you were killed in a car accident. - Good morning, sir. - You only had your hair cut! Yes. Mikhail Suverov. Now If you want access to his room... why don't you ask Monsieur Suverov? Good idea. May we search your room, sir? But of course. I trust my map to the street you asked for was satisfactory? It was. Thank you. - Did I get any messages? - Oh, yes. A telephone message. Alex Bohemia. Did he leave a number? Thank you. You heard that woman. This Suverov must have been looking for me. A stranger with your exact face... and according to the passport, your exact birth date... comes here and asks for directions to the very street where you live. A mystery, yes? An airline ticket from Nice to New York... and a New York driver's license. Some U.S. cash. He was born five minutes after you. I kept both of you for three months. But I was sick. I couldn't nurse. There wasn't even enough for one of you. I needed the money. I had to do It. Tell me now. Why did you choose me? I didn't! I didn't have the courage. Somebody else did it for me. - Somebody else? - A lawyer from Paris. He picked up your brother because... you were crying. He saw my distress and offered me money. He said it was a good family. Oh, God! What have I done? You survived. Made a home for me. You did what you had to do. I don't blame you. You should've told me. I know. Can you remember his name, the lawyer? Why? Somebody killed him, Mother. He was trying to come home. They killed him. Alain, please. Can you remember his name? Etienne St. Denis. He had an office in Place Pigalie in Paris. Parents always lie to their children... to prepare them for the way they'll be treated later by the government. Maybe I'm wasting my time. But if I don't go now, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. What do you gain? You only open old wounds. The lawyer can't bring him back. My brother was adopted. If I can find his family, I can learn about him. Kind of get to know him. The lawyer's office is on the sixth floor. Remember, I'll do the talking. Okay? And then seafood. Promise. Seafood before we go home. Get out! Get out! Go! Go! The man in the elevator! Help! Please help! Help me! Don't hurt me! The adoption papers are here. My boss made me hide them. He would not give them to anybody. Stay with me. You'll be safe. Come on, let's go. My God! Let's go. Come on. They've checked the entire floor. There's no one in there. No body, nothing. The secretary said a Russian guy showed up, asked her boss a lot of questions. Got upset with him. Locked her in her room. The next thing she knew, the place was on fire. Have you gone through every place of debris in the office? - We'll keep looking. - Good. He was adopted by a Russian family. The father was a Soviet diplomat who lived in Paris for five years... and then immigrated to America in 1968. When's the flight? - What flight? - Mikhail's flight to New York. - I want his passport. - No! You're a cop. That's evidence. You think it was a coincidence that guy was Russian? Who knows what Mikhail was involved in. Sebastien... what happened to my brother could've happened to me. Thirty-two years ago it was only luck that kept me in France. He made a sacrifice and never knew It. I gotta go. The killer did not know Mikhail is dead. You go to New York with that face and- Maybe he isn't. Would you like a vodka before you sleep, Mr. Suverov? - No, thank you. - You're welcome. What you see before you is called gridlock. - Next exit. - Yeah, yeah. I'm writing the great american novel here on the job. Literary kind of stuff. Knock the fillings outta your teeth. Yeah. I see Everything. That's what it is. It's all about looking around, observing stuff. Take you, for instance. Like that accent of yours. What's that? Don't tell me. That's European or something? Bet you got a story to tell. This is Davis Hartley here. I'm not some nickel and dime street mutt. I'm not trying to rip you off or anything. It would be stupid. A guy like you? Got a couple pounds of Lead in his eyes? What's that? Is that maybe grief or something like that? You want to talk about it? Maybe you think I'm trying to rip off your experiences to put 'em in my novel. But that's not true. Davis Hartley is not some moral cretin. Not precisely. I'm trying to make a point here. I'm a professional New York City car driver. You know what that means? I'm the greatest individual at being able to find anything in the world. I could find a penguin in a sandstorm. - I don't know what a penguin would be- - Stop talking. Please stop talking! Hello! Stop talking! You want to help? After I stop, I'll be busy for a while. Find a guy named... Alex Bohemia. Who do you think I am? Do you think I'm a magician? New York City is a big place. How am I supposed to find Alex Bohemia? Kind of like finding a penguin in a sandstorm. You sure you got the right address? You boys think this is Atlantic City? Jeremy, pick up your milk money and get inside! I'm sorry. I'm looking for- You're in the wrong neighborhood, man! I'm looking for a family. Maybe- Wack accent! You way out of your 'hood, white boy. You crazy or what? Or maybe you're a cop? Hey! Get the hell out from my building, you little shits! Come on, old man! He's the chump. - Thank you. - Chump. Thanks. They're not scared of you. They don't know who you are. - They're supposed to be scared? - Everybody supposed to be scared of you. - Why? - Why? Please! Big-time gangster like you! Rich. I thought you forgot about us. I haven't seen you here in a long time. I'm not who you think I am. Well, when his family disappeared... there was a lot of rumors. Some said they had gone back to Russia. Others said there was trouble with their grocery in Little Odessa. Russian mob controls everything in Little Odessa. Maybe that's why he joined them. - How old was he? - Sixteen. Forced to live on the street. You gotta be strong to be a white boy growing up in this neighborhood. Did he ever mention me? Your brother's. He kept it here all these years. - Was he happy? - Yeah. The last I saw him, he had matured. Got real serious. - But he had choices. - What choices? - He was alone. - I'd have taken him in. He was a strange boy. You should go back to France. What you find here could be ugly. Did he ever mention someone named Alex Bohemia? But there's a nightclub in Little Odessa called the Bohemia. Your vodka, Mr. Suverov. Excuse me, I'm looking- Mr. Suverov, you have a phone call. Follow me. Mikhail. Are you crazy? What the hell are you thinking coming in here? The key wasn't in the mailbox 'cause Darlene didn't show up tonight... so I don't get a break for another 20 minutes. Here. You might as well take it now. You shouldn't have come! You should've looked for the key later. What's the matter? You all right? - Excuse me. - Alex. You probably gave half of those bent- nose guys up there a heart attack. I'm surprised we weren't trampled on the way to the phone. You better get outta here. I'll see you soon as I get off. Don't even think about going to sleep. We got a lot of catching up to do. Just tell me. Is everything going to be okay? Get outta here! You need to go back inside. Lvan wants to talk to you. We were family! You betrayed us. Enough. Enough! This is your lucky day. Get in! That was dynamite. Any of those guys Alex Bohemia? Good. I guess that would've been structural letdown, huh? You know this place? Yeah. it's a fleabag hotel. They say that Bret Easton Ellis, he got drunk... and he threw up in a flag tree. The thing won't stop growing. They got to keep trimming it. - Just relax. - He's a very good writer. Just relax. Thanks. - I'll wait here for you. - Thank you for your help. Walt. We're not done yet. We gotta find Alex. My whole first chapter hangs on that. Go home and use your imagination for chapter one. Hi. Last time I was here I stayed in room 323. Kind of a good luck thing. It's available? Nope. But I got 305 across the hall. That's fine. Sign. Good evening, Mr. Dzasokhov. You're a very pretty girl, Alex. You know that? Thank you. Will you do me a favor? The band is too loud. It's a birthday party. The band is too loud. Ten minutes, Yuri. Ten minutes. All I asked was that you hold Mikhail... for ten minutes. Is that a long time? No. That is a very short time. How long can you hold your breath? I know a fellow in Odessa once who could hold his breath... for five minutes, 33 seconds. Did Mikhail talk to anyone while he was here? Nicholas, please. The man is trying to speak. He was talking... to her. So, what did you and Mikhail talk about? I told him he had a phone call. The caviar is fresh tonight. Did I tell you what a pretty girl you are? Let me ask you something, sweetheart. Do you have any idea what will happen to you if you lie to me? I will never lie to you. Because if you lie to me, pretty girl... you won't be pretty anymore. Get back to work. All she needs is a good f- What are you doing over there? Oh, Mikhail, I missed you. You're so tense. I'll help loosen you up. What's this? You playing hard to get? Is this a game? Fine. Have it your way. But no handcuffs this time. You've gotten a lot harder since you've been away. Lvan was all over me after you left tonight. He kept asking me stuff. Did I talk to you? What did I say? He's like something that crawls out of an old pipe. It's okay. in a few days, this will all be behind us. Uh, I can't do It. I'm not Mikhail. He's dead. Come here. Shit! Look, I'm positive the girl went up to 323. The room is empty. I was just up there. You saw her come in. When did she leave? I don't- Do you recognize this man? Yeah. He checked in across the hall. - Room 305. - Room 305. Okay, good. Let's go. Found this. - Where did he go? - I don't know. Where did he go? Tell me! I want them dead! Down! Come on! Hold it! What are you- Get in, get in, get in! Go! Keep moving. Come on. What's wrong? Are you okay? You were supposed to go home and write. Who needs home? I'm always working anyway. I guess we got chapter one finished, huh? Oh, my God! - Is this Alex? Alex Bohemia? - Yeah. That's great. Unexpected development. The whole thing's so scary. We gotta go! Come on. Come on! Zanzibar Club. Police state that a man and woman were being pursued- He was in trouble. Wouldn't admit it, though. Always said he had Everything under control. That he had a lot of money put away. Enough for a lifetime. Said he had a plan that would get him out of the mob. I guess he was wrong. They found him. What did my brother mean to you? Everything. Take me to his place. I want to get to know him. Take you to his place? Are you crazy? You show up and start this mess that almost gets us killed. You don't have a clue who you're dealing with, do you? If you wanna kill yourself, be my guest. But who gave you the right to risk my life? I can't go home. I can't go to work. You painted a big red target on my back. Where's the check? Mikhail used to say we could never stay in one Place too long. We have to move all the time. It's time for us to move. - They'll find us here. - The cable didn't have to die. This is just the beginning. I've seen it before. They won't stop until you're dead, too. You can't go to the police. You can't hide. Lvan and his boss, Kirov, are relentless. All right, I'll bring you to your brother's home. This explains why Mikhail picked a bank in Nice. Holy shit. Looks like we got another chance. How did he manage to hide a twin brother from us? Sir, Mikhail never communicated with him. If he had, we'd have known. All right. Well, in less than 56 hours that bank in Nice opens the safe deposit box... and we all read about ourselves in the "New York Times". If that happens... we'll be spending the rest of our lives wondering how we screwed up so badly. Washington doesn't like federal agents... working for the Russian mob. Our names are on that list. Get the brother. Convince him to work with us in Nice. We don't have any options. We'll get him. And, guys, keep this one alive. I doubt if they were triplets. Triplets. Alex, what are you doing? Look at this mess. Maybe if you told me what you're looking for, I could help you find it. I wouldn't know what to tell you. I'm just looking. What'd you find? He knew about me. What'd you do in the war? Sniper. Why wait five years to find me? Jimmy! You in there? Open up, you shithead! This stuff's hot! This is not your lucky day. Tell your boss to leave me the fuck alone! Lvan, you look like your parrot died. - Mikhail's back. - Bring him to me. How can I bring him in when I've got my hands tied behind my back? Let me deal with him my own way. This is not a democracy. You do what I say. You understand? Mikhail has caused no trouble. If FBI had the list, believe me... we'd have major war with Italians, with everyone. If he is here, then list is still in France. I will convince Mikhail to take proper course of action. So, bring him to me. I meant no disrespect. I'm just worried. Remember when you told me about Goradini talking to the FBI? And Pietro? And Andrea? I took care of them for you, Dimitri. But Mikhail is different. I know you feel like he's your son. Yes, Dimitri. - is this also Mikhail's place? - No, my friend's. Mikhail and I used for come here to escape. You looked comfortable with that gun stuck in that guy's neck today. That didn't scare me as much as when you tried to drown him in the Jacuzzi. I lost it. Sorry. How long you been working at the Bohemia? About a year. I used to dance. Nightclubs. I'm starving, too. There's probably something in here. Karen's ziti? It's the last one she made. And it was like 300 degrees in that Minnie Mouse head? So I took it off, you know? I was gonna have a cigarette. - And some kid took a picture of me. - Come on, girls. These gentlemen have things to discuss. Let's go. Okay. Thanks. - Nice meeting you guys. - We'll see you at the bar later. Look, Carmine. You basically know what's going on with your dad and Johnny... and us over in Jersey. First let me say, I understand. I appreciate the respect you're showing me by coming here... and reaching out to me at this time. Always. I will also go on record as saying... I know my old man can be a tough nut to crack. I don't want to crack nuts, but I will. I feel the anger. When I try, for the second time... on a separate issue entirely, to reach an accommodation... and he don't even make a counteroffer, where's his respect? I don't know what kind of advice he's getting from Johnny. Johnny's always usually a voice of moderation. Me and him, we get along good. So, all due respect, let's not jump in and blame Johnny. True. John's a pragmatist. But he's also a greedy motherfucker. He lives above his head a little. I am reminded of Louis the Whatever's finance minister: De-something. He built this chateau. Nicole and I saw it when we went to Paris. It even outshone Versailles, where the king lived. In the end, Louis clapped him in irons. Look, Tony. All I can promise you is, I will look into it. I understand you got to try to feel out your old man so he don't give you 'a mazz'.... you know, for sticking your nose in. I haven't been afraid of my father for quite some time. Fair enough. But, Carmine, bear in mind, he came onto my turf. He tried to recruit my mulignon. And worse, he roughed up my appraiser. If the proper response is not forthcoming in a business-like time frame... my next move will not be further conversation. I get it. You should know that my next call will be to Johnny Sack... to let him know that we talked. He shouldn't feel blind-sided. Hello? I'm here for the masoner job. Me no speak the English. Mi dispiace. -There ain't no bear back there. -Fellas! Well, the way I feel right now, I'd like to meet a bear. What would you do if you did meet him? That bear would have just as much chance as this pork chop. Where you boys all going? It ain't over. Somebody's going to get something they ain't expecting. Have a bite. Look out, here he comes! Where's Furio? He couldn't get a flight out of Rome, so I'm driving again today. Come on in, he'll be right down. No coffee. I gotta go. Okay? -What did you do to your hair? -I cut it. What do you think? I thought we agreed that you'd talk to me before doing something to your hair. What do you think of it? -It's short. -Good, he eats his carrots. -Makes you look younger. -Benny's waiting for you. All right. Well, here. You fat honey dripper. Come up with the rest of our money, or I'll strip the lard off your ugly.... Pretty. Cosette? Come on, Mommy. Let's go for a walk. -Where's the dog? -You shut the TV? Where's the dog? Oh, my God! Cosette. -What? -Christopher! She's not breathing. Her neck feels broken. What the fuck? Oh, my God, she's dead! -I fell asleep. -What? She must've crawled under there for warmth. Are you fucking crazy? You fucking killed her! -I didn't kill her.I must have sat on her. -Jesus. -My poor baby. -I'm sorry. It was an accident, for Christ's sake. How long have I said she shouldn't be on the furniture? It's because you were fucking high, Christopher. You and your fucking smack! Fuck! Lifestyle. -I'll get you another dog. -I don't want another dog! -Four in the side. -One up the ass. So nobody's heard from Ralph? I'm starting to worry. -I'll call him again. -Try the gay man's choir. I read they were having try-outs today. Three ball, far corner. Son of a bitch. Where you been? This was in the mail for you outside, Tony. UPS. -What's going on? -He's calling Ralph. Leave a message and leave your phone number. With my schedule, I cannot look up phone numbers. Answering machine, again. You're up, T. How you doing? Feeling all right? Me? Yeah, great. Fuck. What's that, Ton'? That's Tony and Ralph's horse, Pie-O-My. Where you going? Your shot. What are you doing? That's a forfeit. That's our money. -Bing. -Get rid of that fucking picture. -What? You don't want to-- -You hear me? Burn it! I never want to see the fucking thing again! What? What's with Ralph? Fucking Bermuda Triangle? This shit with his kid. He's probably down in the bunker. I'll tell you. If I didn't know better.... -We're off the record here, Albert. -We're off the record? It's Tony. What? Am I wrong? Honestly? I don't know. Take a leak. This is bad, my friend. I mean, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't piss on this Ralph if he was on fire. But to whack the guy over a horse? How fucked up is that? If it can happen to him, it can happen to any of us. What's next? You get clipped for wearing the wrong shoes? What can you do? Tony's the boss. Centuries of tradition here. Exactly my point. If Tony did do this... whack Ralph over a fucking horse... that guy would be the first guy on line to pull his fucking plug. I think Justin recognized me a few minutes ago. Thank you. Come in, he's getting dressed. I'll wait in the car. Well, welcome back. I bring presents. Really? That is so sweet. Also, for the grownups, I bring some of my uncle's wine... but it's come later. I just made some coffee. Are you sure? Thank you, but I wait in the car. What's the matter with you? I'm sad for my father. All right, but you gotta get over it. So I unwrap the paper... and there she is... with her head held high and her ears perked up. And there I am smiling. What happened then? Still, I gotta be the sad clown. A front for my friends, my family. You know, a brave front. I've heard you describe yourself this way. The sad clown. I've never seen it. Carmela also painted a very different picture. What do you mean? Volatile, punching the walls. Compulsive gorging on food. Kind of a far cry from the seltzer bottle and bicycle horn. I'm sorry. Maybe you'd like Carmela to be here, if I'm so fucking obnoxious. What I'm trying to establish is your response to sadness... is usually rage, not humor. You two don't have to trouble yourselves. Because I doubled my dosage. I don't want you taking 80 milligrams of Prozac. You kick it up to 80 for a week, 10 days... just to pull back on the stick, get the nose up... then you duck back down to 40 before the limp dick thing sets in. One: that's ineffective. Two: it's not a treatment for grief. Let's get back to Pie-O-My. It's sad that you've lost something that you love. That being said... -it is a horse. -What the fuck is the matter with you? The only other time you've become this emotional in here... -it was those ducks. -That was a whole different thing. -They were ducks. -Is it different? You haven't grieved in this way for people. Your mother, your best friend. Can't I just be sad for a horse without some touchy-feely... Freudian shit component to it? When it was the ducks, it embodied feelings of dread... about your family, that something terrible was going to happen. It's just the miserable way she died. It just makes me wonder what kind of fucking toilet world we live in. A friend of the family, little boy... gets shot with an arrow, cuts off the flow of blood to his brain. Thirteen years old. He's going to live, but he's never gonna be right. -How awful for the parents. -Yeah. My nephew. I love that kid like I love my son. But I think he's got a drug problem, heroin. It kills me just to say it, because I got so many hopes tied up in this kid. This is Christopher? This 9/11 shit, I don't know. The shit that's going on everywhere. It's like some fucking asshole is stalking the human race. Anthony, do any of your associates think about any of this? I don't know, we don't talk about it. I know it's fucking ridiculous, but I feel like the reverend Rodney King Jr., you know? -"Why can't we all just get along?" -What's ridiculous about it? Come on, don't jerk me off. This is me you're talking to. You've caused much suffering yourself, haven't you? My wife prays to God. What kind of God does this shit? How about Carmine Lupertazzi? Christopher ever talk about a dinner with him and Tony last July? What's the matter, Adriana? You and Christopher arguing? It's a stressful time, right before a wedding. A lot of guys get cold feet. He's fucking stoned on H all the time, Okay? There, you happy? We put you guys on the mailing list for Hazelden. That rehab shit? That's where all the brochures are coming from? From you? Convince him he needs help, that he should be in rehab. Look at you, with that little face. These flat screens, I'll tell you, no glare, high definition. I was watching On the Waterfront down at Sears. Karl Malden's nose hairs looked like fucking BX cables. Voice mail again. Chrissy, we're down here waiting for the TVs. Let me ask you something. The other day, T with that picture... he looked like he was going to cry. Still no word from Ralph. Where the fuck is this kid? What you want around here? -Can you do an eighth of scag? -$500. Yeah, wrap it up. -Get the fuck out the car, bitch! -Motherfucker, you know who I am? Who the fuck is this? You know who the fuck I'm with? You ain't no fucking cop, that's for sure. -The fuck you going to do with that? -Stick it up your mother's twat! Goddamn it! What? Little piece of shit. The cork, it got stuck in the bottle. Homemade crap. That somebody cared enough about to carry all the way from the old country for you. What a fucking week. I talked to Ronnie, asked her if she's even heard from Ralph. Little fucking kid's got a respiratory infection now. She just heard about Pie-O-My, she's sick about it. Hello? We're talking about Justin here. Sorry, I was thinking about my mother, her skin condition. Oh, my God. Did I forget to take that out? What's wrong with you? Really, Ma. Dad's right. It's not a bad drive. It's interstate up to Boston. If you don't want to accompany me,fine. Your sister can come up from Florida. Come on, she's not going to do that. Of course I'll go. Did she tell you, Hugh? My horse died. Pie-O-My? That's too bad. -God, this wine. -There was a fire at the stables. She had to be destroyed. You should've seen her. String beans, Hugh? -Baby, what happened? -He got jacked by some spics. -They took his ride, his fucking watch,too. -Jesus Christ, the Cartier? -Christopher, you're bleeding. -Stop touching it. -Do you think I could get some money? -What? -Who are you? -Eddie. -From down the park. -He's good people, Adriana. I took him home. He was all fucked up, but I straightened him out. He owes me $30. -Get the fuck out of here. -What? Get out of my house. -Don't stiff me on this, man. -Get out! What's the matter with you? The guy's my friend. That's your friend? -Hazelden? What's this? -It came for you in the mail. Recovery? You put me on mailing lists for junkies, now? Where do you get your balls? -What are you doing? -What? Sil said torch it. A classy piece like this? Horse with the trees, wooden frame? $25,000 to $30,000 at a minimum. I think it was Tony said he wanted it burnt,Paulie,specifically. -Put it in my car, I'll take it home. -All right. It'd be an honor to hang this picture in my house. Tony, can you come down here, please? What's the matter? -What happened? -Your nephew. Christopher did this? He hit you? What for? -What's the difference? -He was high. Little prick, I'm going to wring his fucking neck. Where is he? He's been using drugs. Heroin. -Who's this? -You called me, maricon. -Where's Christopher, asshole? -Fuck your mother. His car was stolen by some Puerto Ricans.They took his cell phone, too. I don't know what to do. I already packed a suitcase for my aunt's in Daytona. Take it easy. Don't do something you'll regret. Three weeks before their wedding. Maybe he needs to be in rehab. You can hire someone to do an intervention, apparently. Girls, come on. We're a family here. Now I gotta spell it out for you? Take it easy. Let me figure out how to handle this. Please, don't hurt him. ...fight plan will win out. At this stage the fight is getting closer because.... Why am I always having to come here? -How are you doing, man? -Did we come at a bad time? The decorating ideas. You want to come in? I'm sorry for the mess. Please, this is nothing. So, there is a page from Metropolitan Home. Now, wait till you see how a mirrored backsplash can amplify a room. You want something? Something to drink? We gotta go. If you've got a cup of coffee. -He loved that little man, by the way. -Gobbetto. He's good luck. Not that he remembered to thank you. And Meadow loved that book. You know, I feel bad. I didn't give you something. I bring something, but I forgot it when I left that morning. Balsamic vinegar, 35 years. From my sister's husband's family. Live in Modena. So, aside from your Dad... -was it wonderful being back in Italy? -It was wonderful, yeah. Go home and see your friends, your family. I gotta be honest... it was not so nice. -I don't belong there no more. -No? Something change. -Maybe me. -What do you mean? I'm like a visitor in my own town. Life went on without me. There is nothing there for me now. -No special someone? -I feel strange to live here also. Maybe I should never have come to America. You've made such a nice life for yourself, though. You've got a wonderful home. -A girlfriend. -No. What do you mean, no? Jessica? I try to talk to her... but there is no communication. Like with some people, you know what I mean? -That's what love is built on. -Si. So why did you come back? You said you'd take me to CompUSA so I could get a new Magic Stick. And I will. I got stuff to do. I told you. I'd better get going. Thank you very much for the vinegar. Where's Branca? She jump ship already? She's in hospital for a while. Cyst. Where's the old fart? I gotta talk to him. It's his afternoon nap. You want me to wake him? Give him a while. Want some wine? From Furio's uncle in Italy? He says they had a lot of sun in this year. Salute. It needs ice. I'm going to watch the Bloomberg. -What's all that? -I'm making a website for my business. You know how to do that? I'm going to pay somebody... $35 an hour? I stuck, I call Bill. You got married yet? Maybe when he gets back from Port St. Lucie. The baseball spring training for his Mets. That Bill's a lucky man. You Russians, you got all the angles, you come over here, you bust your ass. People are people. Look at you. You got every excuse to be in the bottle... and here you are designing websites. What do you mean? What excuse? -Your-- -No, what? Come on, you know, that-- My leg. Of course. I don't think of it right away. There are worse things. ...digital countdown timer with automatic shut-off. Simply put your food in and set the timer, walk away. Your new George Foreman Grill will tell you exactly... when your food is grilled to perfection. This grill does all the work for you. With my exclusive 20-minute digital countdown timer with auto.... Heroin, you got only one option. A dog you love catches rabies, you put her out of its misery, Anthony. Salute. So what do I do, Uncle Jun'? The feds get him in his condition, who knows what he's liable to say. You go on trial, like me, you won't sleep at night. All the more reason to clean him up. Still, he's.... He's a major liability. If it were anybody else.... It reminds me of people's feet. I don't know if I can do that other thing. Dominic Palladino, do you remember him? -BE guy, a real juicer. -He's in AA now. I thought maybe I'd give him a call. They can treat this shit nowadays. Me with the competency hearings. You with the head shrinkers. This one in rehab now. I was so upset when he didn't bring me a present back from Italy. He got something for A.J. and for Meadow. He gave me some vinegar, but I don't think it was meant for me. It must've meant something, that he felt bad. Carmela, you sound like you're 15 years old. I say I'm helping him decorate. I bring A.J. with me. Now even he smells a rat. If Tony suspects one iota, you know what'll happen to Furio. These guys are living in a different century. -It didn't stop you. -Steve at the gym? I felt so guilty all the time. The lies and the sneaking. It took Jackie going in the hospital to get me to stop. -We haven't slept together yet. -You're not fucking him? So this isn't really real. It is real. We communicate. He looks at me like I'm beautiful. He thinks I'm interesting when I talk. Just those few minutes when we see each other, I live for those. I feel like my life is slipping through my fingers and I will never be happy. If you haven't slept with him yet, don't. And don't go over there anymore. We're all here? Good afternoon. For those of you who don't know me, I am Dominic... and I'm an alcoholic and an addict. Don't forget "scumbag." As some of you obviously don't know... I've also been in recovery now going on four years. I joined AA in prison, and frankly, it saved my life. Okay, now, we're all here today because we have one thing in common. Not only do we share a certain background and culture... we care about Chris and want to help him with his heroin addiction. Any one of you been involved in an intervention before? Caught our daughter smoking pot once, but.... -Not really, no. -No problem. An intervention is a non-judgmental confrontation. A "care-frontation," we call it. Now, what I need from you guys is to make a list of specific times... where Christopher's drug use impacted on you directly. For example, Adriana, is it? You would say something like this: "Christopher, last Monday you came home from work high... "and belligerent, and you were physically abusive to me." What if he's high when we try to talk to him? Then we wait till he's sober. My first intervention, Steven Patrano waited 10 hours for me to sober up. -Your first intervention? -In 1997, I suffered a relapse. As in heroin addiction, alcoholics suffer a fairly high recidivism rate. Great. So he's taking advice from a two-time loser. There are no losers in recovery. Actually, I never really met Ralph's kid. I saw him once from a distance, though. Handsome boy. He's got a long struggle ahead of him, that's for sure. Doctors, rehab... physical therapy.... I think I'm going to have the medallions of veal. You make me late for a table at Tavern on the fucking Green? How's the real estate business? -Excuse me? -You know, HUD. Garside Street, you, Ralph, Zellman. Zellman tell you this? Carmine doesn't know anything about this yet. I'm giving you an opportunity to cut a deal, make it right. Last time, Frelinghuysen Avenue, I cut you in out of friendship, but that's over. You got nothing coming to you. You or Carmine. You sure you want to go down this road? How much to paint a different suit on him, change his face a little? -Pardon me? -Why throw it away? A stronger chin, maybe. I was thinking like those paintings in the courthouse. Something classy, you know, like a Revolutionary War general. Napoleon and his horse. That kind of thing. He's rather portly to be Napoleon. Not Napoleon, exactly. Like Napoleon. Sit down. Relax. What's going on, Ton'? I think I know what happened to Ralph, and if I'm right... he ain't coming back. -It was New York. -Johnny Sack? What was it? The fat joke? I'm sure that didn't help. Carmine. This HUD thing we're into, they wanted a piece of it. I think they confronted Ralph... -things went sour. -What'd he say, John? Wasn't what he said so much as what he didn't say. We're talking about New York here. Before we do anything in terms of a payback... you go to your people. I want a full investigation. Nobody makes a move until we know what happened. You understand? What the fuck? -What's going on? -Have a seat. I'm Dominic. I know you don't know me, but.... You're the guy who broke into Stew Leonard's that time. You stole all those pork loins. Yeah, but that's not why I'm here today. -We're here to talk about your drug problem. -What? -Jesus Christ, you fucking kidding me? -Sorry, baby, please. No, fuck this shit. You were told once. Now, sit down. Sit down. Ma? Jesus. This won't be easy for any of us. But I want you to know that we're here today because we care about you. -What was this, your idea? -All we ask is that you listen. Adriana, you want to begin? "Christopher, I love you very much. "My only dream is that we have a happy life together. "The last few months, things have got very bad with us... "because of you using drugs all the time. -"You're high all the time and I can't take it." -Be specific, hon. "When we first started going out, we made love all the time. -"Now, because of the drugs..." -Jesus, is this fucking necessary? Go ahead. "...you can no longer function as a man. "Last week when I came home to learn that you had killed our dog... "that was the final straw." You killed the dog? What'd you do that for? -It was an accident. -Was it barking? He sat on her while he was high. -Jesus Christ. -I fell asleep. She got suffocated or something. Are you done, Adriana? You killed little Cosette? I ought to suffocate you, you little prick! Tony, we're going in order. "When I came in to open up one morning... "you had your head half in the toilet. Your hair was in the toilet water. -"Disgusting." -I told you, I had the flu. -I said my piece. -Great, I can't even defend myself, now? -No one's attacking you. -It doesn't change anything. But I can verify that he was sick for a little while. This thing with the dog. How could you not see it on the chair? You're getting emotional. That's because I know what it's like to lose a pet! I happen to know that you were high at my mother-in-law's wake. You were talking non-stop for 20 minutes, nothing but gibberish. My mother's wake. Jesus Christ. -You want to read your statement? -I don't write nothing down. So I'll keep this short and sweet. You're weak. You're out of control. You've become an embarrassment to yourself and everybody else. -Listen to you. -Guys. We said "non-judgmental." Fuck that. Let him take his medicine. Seriously, you want to talk about fucking up? -Watch it, Chrissy. -What? I thought we're being honest here. You got some balls, you know that. All of you. You want to talk about self-control, how about you, Sil? Fucking every slut working in the place when you got a wife and kids. Or you, Paulie. Remember last winter in the woods with the Russian guy? I am warning you! There he goes, Mr. Type A personality. We're talking about you killing yourself with drugs! Not my fucking personality! -Right. -I'm going to kill myself? The way you eat, you'll have a heart attack before you're 50. -Sit down. -You're talking to the boss. Good, maybe someone will smack some goddamn sense into him! Great, my own mother. Fuck you, you fucking whore! Son of a bitch! Guys, please! Come on! Stop it! Excuse me. How's he doing? I'm a relative. He slipped off the kitchen counter spraying for ants? He was wearing socks. -Are you aware that he has a drug problem? -Really? The man has a hairline skull fracture. We'll admit him, keep him overnight. One minute. Give us a minute, Okay? Does it hurt? They gave me some aspirin. Enjoy it, because it's the last fucking drug you'll ever take. -I'm sorry, T. -Shut the fuck up and listen to me. You're my nephew, Christopher, and I love you. That's the only reason you're alive right now. If it were anybody else, anybody... they would've had their intervention through the back of their head. You and me, we're close. We've done a lot of things for each other. That cop shot my father. I know what you're telling me, I'll never forget that. This is how you repay me. I gotta worry if you'll flip over a nickel bag of white powder. -No, Tony, never. -You lied to me. I told you, you were the future of this family. I gave you that responsibility. And you looked me in the eye, and you accepted it... and you were fucking high. Shut up. Tomorrow morning I gotta go with Patsy up to this rehab place in Pennsylvania. You're going in. You're staying in. You'll go to every session, and you'll keep your mouth shut. Now, if you need anything, anything at all... Patsy's going to be half a mile away from you... in a motel. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? -Do you understand? -Tony, I'm sorry! How did I fucking get to this? -So he comes again. -Brought some pastries. -Is he taking a nap? -Yeah. -Is he driving you to drink? -I can drive myself. I needed that. What's the matter? Spent a long time in the hospital last night. The shit that goes on down there. I wasn't expecting visitors. How about those Mets? Don't start with me and those Mets. You know, I was thinking about you. -So you're drunk already. -No. I was thinking about the way you are. How you always have this little smile, like you got your own private joke. You don't talk much, do you? I wish I knew your secret. Lose a leg and start making websites. That's the whole purpose for people like me, to inspire people like you. -Jesus, no offense. -That's the trouble with you Americans. You expect nothing bad ever to happen... when the rest of the world expects only bad to happen. -They're not disappointed. -That's a fucking grim outlook. You have everything, and still you complain. You lie on couches and bitch to your psychiatrist. You got too much time to think about yourselves. Sounds like me all right. You're not so bad. You have many fine qualities. You are big and strong... full of life, mischief. I have always feel positive towards you. You should see yourself now... in the shadows there, with the smoke all around you. You're beautiful. You remind me of that movie star.... -Irina is beautiful. -Greta Garbo. -May I help you? -Yeah. Brad to reception, your 1:00 client is here. You'll call me later? No phone calls for the first two weeks. House rules. I'll write. I was thinking of keeping a journal anyway. Get it published, maybe, under my pen name. Congratulations. You got here, dude. That's the hardest part. I'm going to have to search your bag. -Cigarettes are Okay, right? -Cigarettes are fine. They're encouraged for patients who smoke. But, Chris, no chocolate allowed. No caffeine or substances containing caffeine. All set? -I love you, baby. -I love you, too. When's Bill coming back? Next week. I'll be busy for a few days... but I'll see you when I can. I think it's not a good idea. -What do you mean? -Maybe I call you. But I don't think so. -You didn't like it? -I like it very much. But, Tony, come on. You're a nice guy, but I got my own problems. I don't want all the time prop you up. What, are you fucking kidding me? -What you doing? -I didn't expect you so soon. Tell my uncle I'll talk to him later. Lowe is not a 98-99 mile an hour guy. Driven out to deep left field! Giving chase is Henderson, on the run! See ya! An opposite-field home run.... -There ain't no bear back there. -Fellas! Well, the way I feel right now, I'd like to meet a bear. What would you do if you did meet him? That bear would have just as much chance as this pork chop. Where you boys all going? It ain't over. Somebody's going to get something they ain't expecting. Have a bite. Look out, here he comes! Where's Furio? He couldn't get a flight out of Rome, so I'm driving again today. Come on in, he'II be right down. No coffee. I gotta go. Okay? -What did you do to your hair? -I cut it. What do you think? I thought we agreed that you'd talk to me before doing something to your hair. What do you think of it? -It's short. -Good, he eats his carrots. -Makes you look younger. -Benny's waiting for you. AII right. well, here. You fat honey dripper. Come up with the rest of our money, or I'll strip the lard off your ugly.... Pretty. Cosette? Come on, Mommy. Let's go for a walk. -Where's the dog? -You shut the TV? Where's the dog? Oh, my God! Cosette. -What? -Christopher! She's not breathing. Her neck feels broken. What the fuck? Oh, my God, she's dead! -I fell asleep. -What? She must've crawled under there for warmth. Are you fucking crazy? You fucking killed her! -I didn't kill her. I must have sat on her. -Jesus. -My poor baby. -I'm sorry. It was an accident, for Christ's sake. How long have I said she shouldn't be on the furniture? It's because you were fucking high, Christopher. You and your fucking smack! Fuck! lifestyle. -I'II get you another dog. -I don't want another dog! -Four in the side. -One up the ass. So nobody's heard from ralph? I'm starting to worry. -I'II call him again. -Try the gay man's choir. I read they were having tryouts today. Three ball, far corner. Son of a bitch. Where you been? This was in the mail for you outside, Tony. UPS. -What's going on? -He's calling ralph. Leave a message and leave your phone number. With my schedule, I cannot look up phone numbers. Answering machine, again. You're up, T. How you doing? feeling all right? Me? Yeah, great. Fuck. What's that, Ton'? That's Tony and ralph's horse, Pie-O-My. Where you going? Your shot. What are you doing? That's a forfeit. That's our money. -Bing. -Get rid of that fucking picture. -What? You don't want to-- -You hear me? Burn it! I never want to see the fucking thing again! What? What's with ralph? Fucking Bermuda triangle? This shit with his kid. He's probably down in the bunker. I'II tell you. If I didn't know better.... -We're off the record here, albert. -We're off the record? It's Tony. What? Am I wrong? honestly? I don't know. Take a leak. This is bad, my friend. I mean, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't piss on this ralph if he was on fire. But to whack the guy over a horse? How fucked up is that? If it can happen to him, it can happen to any of us. What's next? You get clipped for wearing the wrong shoes? What can you do? Tony's the boss. Centuries of tradition here. exactly my point. If Tony did do this... whack ralph over a fucking horse... that guy would be the first guy on Iine to pull his fucking plug. I think Justin recognized me a few minutes ago. Thank you. Come in, he's getting dressed. I'II wait in the car. well, welcome back. I bring presents. really? That is so sweet. also, for the grownups, I bring some of my uncle's wine... but it's come later. I just made some coffee. Are you sure? Thank you, but I wait in the car. What's the matter with you? I'm sad for my father. AII right, but you gotta get over it. So I unwrap the paper... and there she is... with her head held high and her ears perked up. And there I am smiling. What happened then? still, I gotta be the sad clown. A front for my friends, my family. You know, a brave front. I've heard you describe yourself this way. -About what? -Well, I do need a place of my own. So I decided to take you up on your offer. And which offer would that be? To check out your apartment. Alex, it's nearly 2 in the morning. But you said you were a night owl like I am and you walked me home an hour ago. I just figured-- What? Oh, my God. I'm sorry. -lt's okay. -No. You know what? It's not okay. I misjudged this whole thing again. I'm-- l'm just-- l'm leaving. I feel terrible. There's nothing for you to feel terrible about. Yes, there is. Okay? Here you have this life, this great. wonderful life. And I keep imposing myself on it. You are not imposing. I know that I am. You're not, okay? It's fine. Please. Come in. Take a look around. It's fine. -No. I couldn't. -You can. Let me get you something. All I have is water and OJ. I hope that's all right. What about the champagne? I mean, if you want to. Sure. I guess a little champagne between colleagues never hurt. You know, Pacey Witter, you are such a doll. I have so much respect for you having the strength not to act on this thing. -And what thing would that be? -You know the thing. This heat. I felt it tonight when you hugged me. I felt it that time when we kissed. -Oh, gee! -Shut the door, Pacey. It'll keep the heat in. Audrey. Audrey! Audrey, stop. Let me explain. I don't wanna hear your explanations. -lt's clear to me. -She just dropped by. And you were trying so hard to get her to leave. -lt is not what it looks like. -Go back! -Nothing happened! -You kissed her! -She kissed me. -That makes me feel so much better! -lt didn't mean anything! -The hug or the kiss? -Neither. -lt meant your arms around her body. -lt meant her tongue in your throat. -Well, it was her tongue- l don't wanna hear this! -Sorry. Stop. -Let go of me. -Just listen to me. Why should I? You lied to me. -l didn't think it would happen again. -You were wrong. -l didn't want to embarrass her. -What are you talking about, Pacey? This your boss hitting on you. If you wanted to stop it, you could have. And you didn't because you like it. You are attracted to her and-- lt's really obvious to me. If you didn't want her to hit on you, why didn't you quit? Because maybe I need this job. I'm not exactly rolling in money here. I can't afford a place to live. I'm not a rich college girl who can quit when the mood strikes me. That's cool. You know what? Screw the girl, keep your job. Have your cake and eat it too. lt's fine! You're still here. Well, I thought you might need a friend. Come and sit. You realize that she may never talk to me again? I told you, 1 9 is too young to be settling down. You're driving me crazy, Alex, you realize that? Can't help it. I've told you, I take getting what I want for granted. I thought you said you were trying to change that about yourself. I believe that people should listen to their urges. You are a very determined woman, aren't you? Everybody already thinks you did it, Pacey so why don't you just do it? This is great. Too bad we have to stop. -We have to what? -Stop. But what about the heat? Well, just knowing that we could do it, it's enough. It is? It is. It would just be inappropriate. Could you guys get a room? It's a library. Check this exam out. It's dated May 1 0, 1 982 and it's graded by my same professor. Multivariable calculus probably hasn't changed much since then. Yeah, well, based on these years' notes neither has the way that he's been teaching it. How did you do this, get all this stuff out of the house? Well, I just put it in my backpack and just walked on out of there. What about the bylaws? What if somebody finds out? Well, then, I guess I get expelled from the house. You're willing to risk that? I hear it's possible to leave a fraternity and survive. Yeah. I know guys that have done it. Why are you doing this, Eric? Why are you helping me? Because you helped me. I wanna give you something before you go. Your thesis film? If this were the third act of a movie, that's what this would be. -You'd watch it, it would be great- l'd give it to a professor who would give it to a student who now runs a studio. And I'd see my name up on the big screen just a few months later. I would have liked that. Seeing my name on the screen just once. You get to see your name in print a lot. Yes. I sure do. It's What's Up Tiger Lily? -Woody Allen. -His first. Do you know it? -No. -He took this old Japanese movie and he just replaced the dialogue. It's literally a remake of someone else's picture. Obviously, it's derivative and imitative and-- Full of unexplored potential. But if you look at it closely, you can see a glimmer of Annie Hall a twinkle of Manhattan and the promise of Hannah. Thank you. I'll call you when I'm done, and-- lt's a gift. We're both in very different places in our lives, Dawson. Mine is much more predictable and defined than yours and I think we both know I'm probably not the person you need to be spending your precious time with right now. I don't think your life is nearly as predictable and defined as you think it is. Why is that? Would you have predicted a night like this? I would like to keep in touch with you. Then do. I'd like that. Maybe we can catch a movie some time. Audrey, it's Pacey. lf you're there, could you please pick up the phone? Audrey? Please? Audrey, come on. -Hey. -Hey. How long have you--? How long have you been here? A while. How was the movie? Fun. inspiring. -Completely unexpected. -Lucky you. How's studying? Not good. I only have a couple of hours left. Here. Maybe this will help. Do you mind if I just sit here a little while? You know, if you need anything, I can-- Sure. Thank you. Very sweet. Much needed. I gotta tell you, Dawson it's like the entire world has been coming at me tonight. Like, completely distracting me from what I've spent my entire life preparing for. I mean it's like this night has been a metaphor for the whole semester. One big left turn. Not that it's been bad because it hasn't, but it's just if I don't get myself back on track, I could-- Dawson? Joey, can I ask you a question? Do you like my shoes? Yeah. Why? Just wondering. Subtitles by sdl Media Group E. R. Previously on E. R. - The surgery went well. - So they say. You were lucky. Is that what I think it is? I was going through a religious phase. It's not America. You may have to adjust your approach somewhat. Okay, then, he's all yours. Watch the pericolic gutter. He's had some adhesions from an appendectomy. We're going home. E.R. 9x02 "DEAD AGAIN" Q-101 time is 8:30 under partly cloudy skies. We'll be back with the news on the hour after this 30-minute music mix. You realize you've been in there for 20 minutes? You miss me or am I wasting water? Both. How much longer are you gonna be? Your shift doesn't start for two hours. Yeah. There's an 8:00 meeting near here. You gonna go? I was thinking about it. Hello? Something wrong? Carter? What are you doing? We really can't help you anymore, sir. I'm not a junkie. The stuff just finds me, you know? How convenient. I need another room for Mr. Hudlin. He says Exam 3 is full of ectoplasm. - Did you cut yourself shaving? - What? Never mind. Lipstick. - Dr. Carter... - Mrs. Breeland, you need to stay in bed. Otherwise, we might be tempted to put somebody else in it. Okay, I think we're getting there. Hardly. Board number two is for the patients in the halls. We have heat exhaustion, barbecue-smoke inhalation, and boils. All up for grabs. - I love my job. - No, you don't. Why are you dressed like that if you can't prescribe nothing? The smell of fresh med students in the morning. What is it about them? They all seem so... - Gullible? Immature? Vapid? - I was going to say sweet. Bee sting in 1 is asking for you. Have them start the orientation manuals. I'll be with them soon. - Carter, MVA, two minutes. - But not to hold their breath. Dr. Carter, so there's a trauma coming in. Yeah. Why don't you take the bee sting in 1, the wrist fracture in 4 and the burning rash in 2? Care to give me a hand? - Help me! - Why not? - Help me! - Hey! That's just been mopped, damn it! You don't talk if you're having a real seizure. - Remember that for next time. - Come on, man! - Think it's always this crazy here? - Probably. They need to bring you back to the VA hospital, sir. - I don't understand. - Your driver will explain. You guys suck, you know that? - Don't bother. We don't have any beds. - So, what else is new? - No, I'm serious. Try Mercy. - They' re refusing patients too. - Then try Rush. We' re filled. - I've been bounced all over town with this guy. I'm out of gas and so is he. If I don't get him into a bed his UTI's turning into urosepsis. I got to make water! Yo, doc! - You are one sadistic bitch. - Now give me your middle finger. I would if I could. Any emergency meetings get scheduled? Just one, about this spate of ER closures in the area. I've advised the board that preliminary figures show an increase in our patient load by 34 percent. - Who'd you take to La Scala's? - Sorry? Which board member's ass are you kissing? - Now the ring finger. - Robert, I simply compiled a report. - Nerve regeneration's a millimeter a week. - I'm not kissing ass. It's not my dominant hand. In fact, I only agreed to take on your responsibilities out of necessity. I'll be in my office in two weeks... - ... and back in the OR in two months. - I hope you are. Thought about upping your Vicodin? Ibuprofen. I want to stay clear-headed. - That's enough for today. - No, keep going. Sorry, have another patient. Don't get comfortable, Kerry. - Is there anything else? - Just your continued support. Lizzy. - Elizabeth, how are you doing? - Fine. Good. Well, we'll catch up downstairs. - I heard rumors. - All true, I'm afraid. The one face I missed seeing in Recovery. I'm so sorry, Robert. What, about my arm or about not being there? - How are you healing? - Hurts like a son of a bitch. You? Any sensory function yet? Nope. It's a motorcycle accident. I have to go. I'm sorry. - Dr. Corday. How was London? - Good. Timed your trip right. Missed the pox scare we had. - So I hear. - How's Ella? - Fine. - Is it nice to be back? I'm off to the ER. I'll let you know. Okay. Well, good luck. - Bite me, panty smellers! - Ma'am, you need to calm down! Die, you sucking pervert! Dr. Corday, hi. We need some Haldol here! - You think that's necessary? - Yes! Doctor C, looking good. Thanks, Malik. So, what's the GCS on this motorcycle trauma? - Sorry, I didn't do the ride. - Oh. Well, have the X-ray tech... - ... come down for portables. - You got it. - Hold the CT till we eyeball the patient. - Hey, welcome back. Thanks. So do you know any of the specifics? Sixteen-year-old girl, motorcycle versus utility pole, no helmet. Carter's bringing her in. - What's a chick doing on a motorcycle? - What's anyone doing on a motorcycle? Have the rapid infuser primed and ready, draw her up 100 of fent four of Ativan. Make sure the airway drugs are out of the box. - It's like you never left. - Yeah. Vital sign. - We need some O-neg. - She got a rhythm? - P. E.A. to agonal before arrival. - Decreased breath sounds. Intubated for agonal resps. Didn't know you were back. - When did she lose her pulse? - Never had one. - Everybody. On my count. One- - Hold transfer and compressions! - Asystole! - Abdomen's distended. Pelvic instability. Suction on high. I need a Yankauer. That's easily two liters. All right, amp of epi. Don't bother. Obvious C-spine fracture. She's not even a good organ donor now. - Is her family here? - Trying to locate them. - We can talk to them... - It's fine. Just let me know when they arrive. ...if it'd be easier for you. I could pull the trigger right now if I wanted to. Because it's all right here. Welcome back, Elizabeth. Do you have time for a consult? As it turns out, yes. What's he have? Belly pain? Only because he swallowed a handful of nitroglycerin. No sudden moves unless you want me to blow! Milo has right upper quadrant tenderness with rebound. I'm a human time bomb. He needs to be cleared before we move him upstairs. - I could go off. - He could get hypotensive. Are you scared? I'd be scared. No! Give him two liters of saline... - ... and monitor him for a few hours. - Thank you. Gallant hasn't turfed a case to Psych all day. - You wanted the consult. - Dr. Lewis. - Yeah? - We' re to capacity? Every bed, every day since Mission Hospital closed. I thought it was just St. Paul's. No. It doesn't help Weaver's been gone so much. - She's gunning for Romano's job. - It keeps her very busy. - Dr. Lewis. - Mr. Sprooner. Guess you're still itchy? Yeah. But there's- You need to give drugs a chance to work and quit scratching. I think the guy next to me stopped breathing. Great! Got a gang shootout here. Couple DOA's at the scene. Another rig's coming behind me. - Where was she hit? - In the neck. - BP's 100/76, pulse stable at 100. - Through and through? - Saw one hole but it wasn't leaking air. - You need a hand? - Possible SCI. - Where is he? Ricky? - What's her name? - Alma. Hang in there, Alma. We' re gonna try to find him for you. - Set up a cross-table lateral of the neck. - Carter. Still got med students waiting. Want me to jump on that? Better idea. You talk to them. So. Newbies, huh? You don't wanna work here. - Haleh, get that dead body out of here. - And take it where? - Someplace else. - How much O2? - Five liters by nasal cannula. - You hurt anywhere else? They shot him! Oh, please, God, don't let him be hurt! We' re gonna find out for you, but you gotta help us. - Do you have pain anywhere else? - I don't know. I can't tell. - How about your legs? - No. I can't feel them. Gallant, need a hand here. We' re talking smithereens here! Have you ever seen smithereens? I'm on Psych rotation. I really shouldn't be helping you. - Haleh, this is a dead body. - You ought to go to med school. Can't take her to the morgue yet. We' re waiting on family. Why am I not exploding? No movement below the umbilicus. What's wrong with me? Why can't I feel anything? You might have bruising to your spinal cord. I need 30 mgs per kilo of methylprednisolone, IV bolus. - Where the hell's X-ray? - Behind you. Start with the chest. - Please. I need Ricky. - Stay with us, Alma. Entry wound, left mid-sternocleidomastoid with a large hematoma. There's blood behind the ear as well. Be nice to hear about that ultrasound. Morrison's is dry. The pericolic gutters look good. - Bladder is- - Shooting. Wait! Wait. She's pregnant. - What? - Looks like about 11 weeks. Fetal heart rate is 140. Baby appears healthy and intact. I need Ricky. It's my arm, man. It hurts like a... Do something already! BP's steady at 120. But he's been like this the whole time. Ricky, you need to calm down. - Did you give him anything? - Wouldn't hold still long enough. Good breath sounds. Full trauma panel, chest and AP pelvis. He's a regular customer. Through and through to the right triceps. You were lucky. Yeah? You should see the other guys. No fracture or deformity. So, what? Just go back and forth shooting each other till all of you are dead? - An eye for an eye, man. - Yeah. Meanwhile his girl gets shot. - They got Alma too? - She was hit in the neck and it's pretty serious. - Where you going, dog? - Let me go! - Calm down! - I'm gonna kill those bitches! You already did! Repeat hemogram and update tetanus. Keep your hand there and don't take it off until you get upstairs. - Dr. Corday, when you have a chance? - Be right there. Make sure the blood bank sends type-specific straight to the OR. Have the anesthesiologist call me with any questions. - Are you the one...? - A neurosurgeon will perform it. He'll talk with you shortly. - I'm sorry? - Don't let me die. You' re one cold-hearted bitch, you know that? I don't have any damn pity for you, whore! I'm talking to you, pissface! Don't you dare turn your back on me, you stuck-up little ass-shaker! Where the hell do you think you' re going? ! Pardon me. Coming through. Watch your back, sweetie. Excuse me. - Doc, I'm gonna miss the season- - Keep your cup on. I should have been off two hours ago. You still here? Can't leave till my patient gets a bed. Them's the rules. - Don't sound upset about it. - Up to level 12. Turn that off, disturbs the patients. - Frank, what'd I miss? - County HHS needs to talk to you. - Ditto, Human Resources. - Anything from Dr. Romano? He called half an hour ago, an hour before that. Somebody from Dr. Rydell's office called to confirm your appointment- Frank, 2 needs a janitor. What the hell is this? Why is Stella Willits still on the board? I called to have her admitted to Psych hours ago. - I haven't evaluated her yet. - Save yourself the trouble. She's nuts. She's a frequent flyer with a history of bogus medical complaints. With all due respect, I'd like to determine that myself. The ER doesn't have time or manpower to deal with hypochondriacs. That's what you' re for. Get her off my board. - It's part- - I said, get rid of her. Stubborn. Gotta give you that. - How are those medical students coming? - Fine. I gave them three volumes of Rosen. ER. Carter, Urology on two. Think you can come up with something a bit more interactive? Yeah. Sam Polivy's back with a ureteral stone. P-O-L-I-V-Y. Abby? Those labs back on Melinda Harrell? - Let me check. - Hi, I'm Erin Harkins. - I'm on the phone. - You're busy. We get it. Can we get an approximate time orientation will begin? Doctor? Don't tell me you're keeping med students waiting. - Check with Pratt. - I'm checking with you. - Intractable pain and hydronephrosis. - Dr. Carter? I cannot admit him to Eight West. There are no beds. I'm Dr. Weaver, Chief of Emergency Medicine. I will give you a brief tour of the ambulance bay, after which our Chief Resident will give you his attention. Because, as you'll learn, it's his primary responsibility. Come on. - Sorry. What was that? - Demolition-site accident downtown. - At least a dozen injuries. - ETA? - Now. - I gotta call you back. Paramedics can transport using standing field protocols- - We've got multiples. - Wait here. - Who's on first? - Sick one. Frank Chambers. Forty years old, severe chest trauma when a walkway fell. Wrecking-ball crane collapsed. BP, 80 systolic, but headed the wrong way. Tachy 120, denies LOC. Crepitus on right side. Page Surgery. - Mr. Chambers, can you talk? - Hurts too much. He thought his ribs were broken. - You are? - His secretary. Sustained a facial lac and chest pain but refused treatment. - You need to be examined. - After. He's decreased on the left. - Let's hear it. - I've heard it since Michigan Avenue. Ken Ambrose, 34, tib-fib fracture with dislocation. F. D. had to lift a flower shop off his leg. Not a shop. It's a kiosk! - Abdomen's soft, non-tender. - Vitals normal, tachy at 120 with a liter in. - Gave him ten of MS. - Don't touch! It hurts! Okay, bear with us. We'll give you something. - Oh, God! I see a light. - You're not dying. It's just your ankle. Oh, God! - You're supposed to help me! - Watch where you're going! - You ran into me! - Haleh? Where's the trauma? Throw a rock, honey. Blunt chest in 2. You look wonderful, by the way. - Eighty-five pounds and counting. - Good for you. You cut your hair? - BP's falling, 70 systolic. - Keep squeezing that bag. - Where are we? - Flail and crepitus. Needs a tube. - Who has an angio cath? - Right here. How can I help? Given there's only one, I don't see how you can. - What is that? What are you doing? - It's a tube to help him breathe. He has a collapsed lung, this will re-inflate it. I need a thoracostomy tray. All right, let's see how much air he's got in here. Oh, God! That any better, Mr. Chambers? Sats 88. He's not talking anymore. Why is he not talking? Because he can't. Let's Betadine the whole chest just in case. - You need any help? - Yes. With his wife. She's bleeding. - I'm not his wife. - Then you shouldn't be here. - Where's the rapid infuser? - Got it. We need that blood. Let's get her on a monitor. She refused treatment for chest pain at the scene. I'm Dr. Kovac. Come with me. - No. Somebody needs to be with him. - Okay, I'm in. - Hook me up. - Let us take care of him and Dr. Kovac will take care of you. Please. What are you doing down there? Lewis, what are you doing up there? This guy's got no DP pulse. It's called a trauma assessment. Lungs clear, chest tones normal. - Got the Doppler. - Give it to me. - Sweet Jesus! - Explains no pulse. Okay, let's get a CBC, chem seven, dip a urine, chest and pelvis x-rays. Chen, give me your hands. - What are you doing? - Hold tight. Ken! Have you ever been to Hawaii before? - Well, pretend that you' re there now. - Pratt, wait! I can't believe you! I feel better. I feel totally better! I feel totally sick. Why would you reduce an ankle with no pain meds? No pulse is no blood is dead tissue. In other words, I just saved your foot. Thank you. You' re wonderful. - Subclavian's in. Is that the film? - Five hundred cc's are out the chest tube. - He's holding his pressure. - No pneumothorax. Looks like a widened mediastinum and loss of the AP window. Hard to tell. The pulmonary contusion is impressive. One of us should go with him to CT. Not unless you' re ready to crack the chest. Flail chest, pulmonary contusions, and labile hypotension. Could also be from a splenic fracture. Carter, I'd like an aortagram. Better yet, a TEE. The fact he's still alive argues against aortic injury. - Page me with the result, okay? - Elizabeth, I think there's more to discuss. Kerry, I'm a trauma surgeon. The last time I checked, you weren't chief of staff. Keep me apprised of his condition. - Okay, the last one. - Can I go see him now? No. We have to make sure you didn't bruise your heart or damage your lungs. - They' re not doing anything. - Probably just waiting to go up to surgery. I'm sure he's stable. I told Mr. Chambers we were 10 minutes late. It's a trick I use to get him to meetings on time. - You don't call him by his first name? - He's kind of formal. How long have you been working for him? Two years. Six days a week, 10 hours a day. Probably spend more time with him than his wife does. They' re really happy though. I mean, she's lucky to have him. - He's a good man. - Luka no fragments in the x-ray. Ready to irrigate? Yeah. Put Polysporin on the wound. Where'd you get that one? A lowlife stuck me in the back with a switchblade. An inch to the left and you would have lost a kidney. Guy that did it to me got snuffed with a sawed-off. Dude was bite-size. That's funny? - Whatever, bitch. - Hey, watch your mouth. Are you almost done, man? Why? You in a hurry to go to jail? We can check on Alma. She's probably in Recovery by now. - That means she's okay, then? - No. She could wind up paralyzed. - Like, all over or just her legs? - They' re not sure yet. Well, better if they just killed her, you know? An hour ago you were ready for revenge. Yeah, that was personal. It was about my name, honor. - But paralyzed? That blows. - Just dress the wound with Adaptic. Hey, Luka. - Piece of work, huh? - Yeah. And she's pregnant. - Who? - The girl. Says it's his baby. You want to tell him? No. Do you? Not really. Hi. I'm Michael Gallant from Psychiatry. Stella Willits from Ohio. Nice shiner. I understand you have quite a few medical complaints. - I'll need to ask you a few questions. - Knock yourself out, hon. Had any recent weight gain? I've been thinking about going on the Zone. - How about dry skin? - Like the Sahara. Here. Give me this. "Intolerance to cold." Yes. "Arthritis, sore muscles, constipation." Yes, yes, and yes. " Fatigue. " Well, I have been kind of low-energy lately. You have some delayed relaxation from the deep-tendon reflexes. What about depression? - Me? - Yeah. No, I'm glass-half-full, I'm silver-lining girl. I'm an optimist. Listen, I'll be back to finish. I guess I do get a little blue sometimes. Get this gurney out of the way. If you haven't talked to anyone, you need to go back to the nurse in Triage. Your food poisoning in Exam 4's been here for 11 hours- - Waiting on a consult. - From the Naked Chef? He ate bad shrimp. - Can I get something for my skin? - Yeah, sun block. Can I talk about Stella Willits? - If you' re admitting her to Psych. - She may have a reason- Just got word on Mr. Chambers. Aortic dissection. I'm taking him up to Surgery now... - ... unless you have objections. - No. Would it be possible for us to speak in private first? - Of course. - Dr. Weaver? - Later. - Yeah, but I need... I wanted to talk to you about what happened earlier. Oh, for God's sake! Who left a cadaver in here? Sasha's a bit of a bad penny. She keeps being moved while they try to locate her family. I don't mind if you don't mind. I'm concerned that you might be taking on too much too soon particularly in the area of trauma. Based on? What I saw earlier. A pronounced inability to work with others. A lack of professional respect. You' re joking, right? Look, it's stressful, no question. Copping an attitude with me and my staff is not gonna make a trauma go any easier. Kerry, I saw a dissected aorta. In fact, it only adds to the intense pressure that we' re all feeling. Given my position, I didn't think it necessary to seek your approval. We all have our sensitivities. Quite frankly, if anyone has an attitude here, it's you. - But we can't let them interfere- - No! It's you, with your insistence on being kowtowed to at every bloody opportunity! Oh, my God! Excuse me. I want some milk, I'm thirsty. His landlord found him in his apartment crying, hyperventilating. - Apparently, his girlfriend left him. - The term would be " mommy. " - What? - Mommy. Well, he appears to be an Aby. You know, an adult baby? It's a fetish in which the baby is taken care of in every way by a " mommy" or a "daddy. " You're familiar with this condition? It's not really a condition. It's more like a form of relaxation. - Are you kidding me? - No, it says right here: "Abies like to relinquish control, get away from their stressful lives. " - Mr. Dwyer, what do you do for a living? - Shoe sales. A foot fetish too. This is an issue for the Psych Department. No offense. I am not so sure about that. Mr. Dwyer, when's the last time someone changed you? This morning. More than likely, he suffers from a diaper rash, which is a medical ailment to be treated by the ER. - When are you done with this rotation? - Next week. Remind me to give you some serious scut work. "To Dr. Pratt, thanks from a grateful patient. Ken, the kiosk man. " Amazing. Too bad this guy didn't run a hot-dog stand. I'm here for allergies. These things are pushing me over the edge. Can you get rid of them? Or give them to someone a little more deserving. Who saved flower boy's foot and moved more patients than anybody today? Me, that's who. You' re gonna miss me too, because I'm out of here. - Banker's hours, Pratt? - Only if they work doubles. Hey, Carter. What's up with your boss? Is it true she was crying earlier? - Weaver? - Yeah. Bad breakup or something? - Been pretty moody lately. - Lately? I'm sorry! I think this man needs immediate attention! - You gotta help my pops! - What happened? They came in the ambulance entrance. - I saw he was diaphoretic. - Not asking you. We were playing ball. He grabbed his chest. - When did the pain start? - An hour ago. - Thought it would go away! - You have pain anywhere else? - Scale of 1-10, how's your pain? - Forty. - How you feel? - Talk to the elephant on my chest. - It could- - Excuse me. You mind? - What are your names? - I'm Pete and he's Derek. Can you take Pete and Derek to the TV room. One, Pratt! Okay, here. Come on. Is there any way that we can wait in the doctors' lounge? As soon as you' re a doctor. - Tombstones in two, three and F. - Better with the spray under your tongue? No. What do you mean by "tombstones? " It's a non-medical way of describing the line tracings on an EKG. It's not good news, Mr. Royston. It looks like you' re having a heart attack. - Aspirin? - Already gave him 80. Push five of Metoprolol, titrate morphine, start heparin and nitro drips. - Call Cards and cath lab. - What's going on? What's he gonna do? There's a blocked vessel. We open it with a balloon to stop your attack. We need your permission. It's called angioplasty. - Sign for me. - Cath lab will be ready in 30 minutes. - He's a hot MI. - They' re finishing a pacer. While they' re messing around, he's killing heart cells. - It'll give us time to medicate. - V-tach. - Like I said. - Charge paddles to 200. - No pulse. Starting compressions. - Abby, open an intubation tray. Let's get Cardiology in here! And, clear. The doctors there will give you antibiotics. Lynn got her tattoo in NewYork, right? It was a Japanese master, in the classical style: Hiromitsu. Classical style? The classical era of Japanese tattoos was between the 17th and 18th centuries. The Japanese have little interest in naked bodies. The purity of virgin skin means nothing to them. The Hiromitsu He only did 12 tattoos. This is Lynn's. Number 3. They are true works of art. The Japanese passion for tattoos led people to collect skin. Collectors bought pictures from the living and waited for them to die. Skin collectors. - Just myths, of course. I doubt they're true. That Hori... Hiromitsu. - Yes. He died. It's probably impossible to find out who has the other 11 tattoos. Not at all. But I'd like to know what this has to do with Lynn's death. Nothing. Just curious. Actually I'm not supposed to give you this stuff. Since you're on leave. Yeah, I know. It's just for my report. Oh well. The case is closed. And anyway, you played a part in it, too. Yeah? Yeah, did you check the list of names? Just a sec. I got Lynn Wilson. I need the other 11 people with a Hiromitsu. Yes. And all of them are reported dead or missing? Thanks. Thanks. Schrader. Schrader! You aren't needed here. Dix. How observant. Black. Damn it! What do you want? You're on leave, and the Gunzel case is closed. Gunzel was no serial killer. Not in the usual sense. He was filling orders. And not just for Hiromitsu. Orders? From whom? Someone called lrezumi. There are collectors... Gunzel was just the tip of the iceberg. There are others... - Schrader! Gunzel was in prison. He couldn't have committed every murder. If it was murder! All 12 people with a Hiromitsu are reported dead or missing. Come on.12 Has Gunzel's death been made public? Tomorrow. - We have to stop it. Until we knowwho's behind it. We? - Yeah, I wanna work the case again. What's the lawyer's name? Schoubya. Frank Schoubya. Call me by my first name, since we're spending time together again. I'll clear things with my superiors. I got him! What's going on here anyway? An old man was buried here yesterday. Last night, somebody dug him out and chopped him up. We've been looking everywhere for his head. Sometimes I don't understand the world anymore. How did you last this long? My family. No matter what, I went back home, and everything was okay. Can I ask you something? They say you found that hit-and-run driver. Yes, I found him. An insignificant state employee, living in a row house. I went into his bedroom at night. He was alone. I woke him up. I wanted him to knowwhy. It was pathetic. He cried like a baby. I just couldn't do it. Sometimes I drive past his house at night when I can't sleep. He got married last year. Has a daughter of his own. If somebody always pays, who paid for your wife's death? I did. I paid for it. Now let's go afteryour Mr. Schoubya. Mr. Schoubya. Chief Inspector Minks. My colleague, Officer Schrader. Thank you for seeing us at such shortnotice. We have a few questions. Lynn Wilson, present residence: the state morgue. Familiar? Sorry, no. What about Stefan Kreiner? Present residence: nowhere. A steady client of yours, I believe. I'm familiar with Mr. Kreiner. I prepared some contracts for him. What kinds of contracts? Sales contracts. Sales contracts for what, Mr. Schoubya? Listen, it's useless for me to play innocent. The contracts involved tattoos. I agree, quite unusual objects, but it's no reason to get upset. The transactions were legal and carried out by mutual agreement. So you negotiated for a third party, a collector. That's right. Who is the collector? - I regret. What does it cost to skin someone? I'm only a businessman. If you are planning to contact the DA in order to gain access to my files... No crime has been committed. So there's no necessity to reveal my client's identity. You're a businessman. So let's make a deal. A Hiromitsu. If your clientis so hot on this shit, he can have this, provided he tells us something about the tattoo trade. It's too bad you folded it. That drastically lessens the value. Nevertheless, I'll see what I can do. You know this is material evidence. Did I say it wasn't? Either we do this together, Minks, or every man for himself. I'm hungry. How about you? I'll see you tomorrow. As you like. Yeah, what's up? What's so damned urgent anyway? Order me a beer at the bar. I'll be right there, okay? Sorry. Hey... 2 beers, please. Recognize her? I found her. Minks' daughter. Got it? She's been here since last Sunday. I didn't realize it until we talked to each other. Marie? This is Marc, the friend I told you about. Yeah. - Hi. - Hi. Can I have a beer? I have to talk to her. You really just want to talk? What if she doesn't want to? - What? Go back to her old man? Will you leave her alone? - Yeah. You'll leave her alone? - Yeah! Meltem said you know me? Yeah, we have a mutual acquaintance. This is getting exciting. I know your father.I'm his partner. Shit. - Hey, don't worry. I'm here alone. Let me go. Let her go, will ya! - Shut up, okay? I'm not going back. - You know you're father's almost cracking up. He doesn't give a damn about me. Oh man. Shit. Want some chewing gum? Here, they make the best bubbles. What kind of cop are you anyway? A new reform-oriented generation. We're civilian friendly and practise painless police brutality. Hey? Are you gonna tell me what happened back then? I heard about your mother's accident. My father totally cracked up. He just couldn't understand why it had to happen to him. There was always a reason, a motive. Hey, I got so sick of hearing that crap. Then he started observing me even more than ever. He'd secretly watch me on my way home from school... I didn't want to run away, but he nearly smothered me with his love. I wanted to hurt him. I have my own life now. And I don't trust him. This is really not about me. I never was. It's all about him! What now? Will you report me? No. Don't worry. Gentlemen. - Is the collector here? Of course. This way. The deeply-felt beauty of an object and the sorrow of its transitoriness. Accepting the fleeting nature of existence, understanding that the transitoriness of Creation bestows it with value is the foundation of Japanese culture. Many collectors hide their pieces behind glass. I prefer to let them hang freely. It makes them come to life. Our society is in a transition. Instead of advancing away from the primitive... We are drawn back to our base natures. Some more than others. Stefan Kreiner, the junkie. Ironically, some of the most valuable artworks are on the most worthless bodies. What's in there? Everything needed to care for the tattoos. - Skin care? Interesting. We should get down to business now. I believe you have something with you. The pinnacle of tattoo art. Perhaps of all art. Absolutely priceless. Speaking of prices. Yes, you want to know who deals with tattoos. There are no traders. Only like-minded people. All the transactions are legal. The tattoos come from the families of deceased owners. Or from voluntary sales, like with our mutual friend, the junkie. There's no shortage of his type. What if someone refuses. I know what you're getting at... illegal goods. I know the rumors. I'm a collector, not a hunter. Whatever you're looking for has nothing to do with me. No skin off your back. I'm sorry. I know you were hoping for more. Not really. The masterpiece of my collection. Are you crazy? You're in possession of stolen property and suspected of committing a theft. What are you saying? Your masterpiece was stolen yesterday from the forensics department. Mr. Schoubya, I've been waiting a lifetime for a guy like you. You won't get away with this. Not with your means of investigating. That's right, but it's enough to get a search warrant. Within an hour, I'll have you hounded by reporters. Your playroom will appear in every newspaper's "Better Homes" section. I'll have you, your reputation and all your like-minded people incinerated. I'll pull you down so far you won't recognize the world anymore. I'll pull your skin over your ears. Nowtalk! Some traders and collectors aren't very particular about the voluntary aspect. Who are they? They don't know each other. Everything is organized in an anonymous chat room where skins are auctioned, always available and for everyone. Only hand-picked intiates are aware of what really happens. Was Lynn Wilson's tattoo, Hiromitsu No. 3, also auctioned there? I also made a bid. 2 million, then I dropped out. Millions? Gunzel got 254,000, but who got the rest? Somebody who won't allow anyone to interfere with his business. Irezumi? Translate to "tattoo" in Japanese. No one knows more. At least I don't. You're a liar. - I was always overbid. That's why I couldn't resist when you offered me the Hiromitsu. I should have known. If everything is so secret, how did you find the chat room? I didn't. Irezumi found me. You first need a buyer or a supplier before you can get close to him. But since they only deal with lrezumi and not with each other, you can only discover their identity through lrezumi. The system is perfect. You'll never find him. But we'll get you for being an accessory. I want the boss. "Tattooing" in Japanese... Take it nice and slow! You lied to me. All your questions about Lynn's tattoo. She was killed for her tattoo. What about you? Did you tell me the truth? I thought there were 12 Hiromitsus. I wish it were so. You were together? You and Hiromitsu. I loved him. So much I didn't care that love meant something different to him. We were so happy. Until his masterpiece was finished. He lost interest in me. He lost interest in everything. In life as well. He killed himself. Attained absolute perfection. And left me behind with a wound that won't heal. Ironically, I'm the only thing that's left of him. So Lynn Wilson knew about your tattoo? Of course, but she swore never to tell anyone about it. Before ending up in Gunzel's basement. Gunzel most likely knew about her tattoo and whoever else worked with him. Irezumi, too. Who else knows about it? Your family? Your lover? No one. Your silence has saved your life. Until now. Now you need us, and we need you. There's only one way to catch that maniac. Hold on. By offering him something he can't refuse. You aren't serious! We have no other choice. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? He wants to use you as bait. You what? - It's your only chance. Put me out there like a piece of meat. You came to see us. Don't get her involved! She already is! You wanted to solve this case. Not at her expense. And we'll solve it. Always you! And if it's the last thing I do. You just can't be trusted. What? Here's a package. Speak up! Who's it for? For you, lnspector Minks. From somebody named lrezumi. I'll put it here. Car keys and a parking-lot ticket. No. What's wrong? What's wrong? Speak up! Marie. Marie? - I found her. I promised her not to tell you. What're you saying? This is Marie's tattoo. Don't go. Don't go there! Shit! Schrader. Call out a large-scale search for H.K. Minks. Yes, Minks! Schrader. What a shame. But it had to end this way someday. I didn't think anyone knewwhere she was. Howthe heck did they find her? You're not serious. We just have to see your face. We only need this here. That's how Gunzel probably contacted lrezumi. We' ll get him. He can't pass this up. Maya, it's just a matter of time before you're discovered. You don't understand a thing. I'll keep my eye on you. Nothing will happen to you. You thought differently yesterday. Damn it... yesterday! I led him to Minks' daughter. What if something goes wrong? How long will you stay? A week? A month? Then you'll be gone, and I'll be free for slaughter. You are already. Gentlemen... Nowthe back. What if he doesn't get in touch? Don't worry. He won't pass up this opportunity. Go on. Talk to her. Irezumi! Take the suitcase to Convention Center, place it in a van with the number 1969. We have to put something in it. Lynn's tattoo, the 3rd Hiromitsu. When's the exchange? - Midnight. Just one more hour. Come on. I'm here. Do you have me? I see you. The transmitter's working. Midnight. Okay, Poscher, let's go. Take the suitcase and get out. Check if one of the vans has the number 1969. I got it. Try the doors. There's a disturbance. - Poscher? I'll go to the rear. Poscher? Can you hear me? Poscher, come in, please! Poscher! Move in! A lamp! Stay up here. We'll only shoot each other down there. Shit. Congratulations. How could anybody Fuck up so much in one night? Poscher? Dead. The 3rd Hiromitsu? Stolen. And Maya? Disappeared without a trace. What? But her apartment was under constant surveillance. They made sure nobody entered, not whether someone left. She was gone, when the replacement came. I don't get it. Why leave our protection and put herself in danger? I didn't get it at first either. Until this arrived. What is it? The Hiromitsu file. It took our colleagues in NewYork sometime to find out who the pseudonym was. As it turns out, he didn't commitsuicide like your girlfriend claimed. He didn't? He was murdered. Skinned. It was never solved. The colleaguesthink that it was a kind of Personal vengeance, because the murderer or murderess took several days to skin him. Now guess who left New York a day after the murder, even days before the press found out. She lied to you. Probably from the beginning. She played with you like a cat with a mouse. She screwed you and whoever worked with her. Where is she? Where is she? - Who? No. No... Where is she? Wait! Where is she? - No. Please, don't. No. This won't get you anywhere! I'm meaningless. You didn't accomplish anything. [Sighs] What? [Ding] Morning. Did a package arrive from booth Allen in Chicago? Hey, is this Burton falling's office? Is this Burton falling's office? Yes, it is. What do you want? What do you care? Bitch. It was good to see you again, Liz, and, um, I'm sure Jake will do a great job for you. He's a very bright young man. Well, I appreciate this, Burton-- aunt Liz? Ohh... Nicholas? Ohh! My goodness, look at you. It's been a long time. Yeah. You look great. Heh heh heh! And I see that you've met my son Jeremy. Judge: I am sentencing you to 1,500 hours of community service. Using your skills as a corporate attorney to work as a child advocate. So Liz wants to sell her company to vortex communications. What kind of company? Advertising. You've heard of the kleiner automotive angry penguin? Oh, I've seen that one. [Cartoon voice] "We're freezing prices down here!" Good. The Western grocery price Terminator? Oh, heh heh! That's funny. [Deep voice] "Don't pay too much, pilgrim." Ours. Great! The hilkin department store lingerie day for men, beer decathlon out in munhall, we do that, and some national stuff, too. It's a very strong list of clients. Very. We bill almost 2 million a year. All right. Well, I'll look over all the papers and see what we can figure out. Great. Nice to meet you, Jake. Yeah, you, too. If you have any questions, call my accountant. Mom, come on. I told my friends I'd be there, like, 20 damn minutes ago. Don't you want to spend some time with your Uncle and your cousin Nick? No. 3 more days of winter recess till he goes back to boarding school. 3 more days. I know what you mean. So, uh, what's with the kid? My nephew. She's your sister? No, she's my wife's sister. But now, Jake, I want you to understand I don't like to mix family with business, so that's why I want you on point for this one, ok? Fine. Got it covered. Woman: I'm looking for James mooney! James: That's me. Hi, I'm Agnes lenbert. I work for social services. Who's she? Her name is kalaya nirapattanassai. She's a thai national. Hello, kalaya. My name is James. She doesn't speak much English. Can we speak in private? Why is she here? She was arrested at the airport yesterday with 2 adult thai nationals who were smuggling heroin. She was posing as the drug smugglers' daughter. Where there any drugs found on her? No, she was just there to make it look like a family vacation. To Pittsburgh. Heh! Not exactly a thai dream. No wonder they got caught. Where's she staying? At a locked shelter for juvenile offenders. But I don't understand why you're here. I think she wants asylum. [Slowly] Do you speak any English? Uncle Joe. Me and Uncle Joe. Do you want to stay with Uncle Joe? Does Uncle Joe live here? Does Uncle Joe know you're coming? Uncle Joe. Me and Uncle Joe. Get me an interpreter. I want to make sure she wants to stay. If she does? I'll see what I can do. I'm looking for Joe nassurn. My name is James mooney. I work for legal services of Pittsburgh. Does Joe nassurn live here? Do you expect him back? If you see him, tell him that his niece kalaya is at the allegheny children's shelter, and to call me right away. Jeremy. What's up? Where's your mom? She's in with your dad. You're stuck here till they're through? My mom is into us having some time together. Wants to take me shopping. The kleiner automotive group doubled their sales to $58 million in the 4 years following the highly visible angry penguin ad campaign, Liz hetherington has won the atta-- the manno and every regional and national advertising award in print, television, and radio. I tried to buy Liz's company a year ago. What's different now? Right. Well, she's been very impressed with the growth of your company over the past year and sees this as a, uh... Strong synergistic opportunity. Let's get some numbers going. Great. Mr. mooney, right? Right. I'm Joe nassurn, kalaya's Uncle. But earlier you-- I didn't know who you were. I had to check you out. Listen, kalaya's mother, she was a prostitute. Your sister? Yeah. She has a bunch of kids. She try to get them out of Thailand. She doesn't care how it happen. So she sells them to drug dealers. This isn't the first time something like this happen. Can I see her? Kalaya? Kalaya? Hey! Kalaya? Kalaya? I need an ambulance. Someone stole my palm pilot. Oh, well, welcome to the club. Jake left his wallet in his suit coat. 300 bucks. Yeah, and one of the secretaries is missing her disc player. Can you excuse us for a second, Jake? You bet. You gonna talk to Liz about this? About what? Jeremy. Are you serious? He was out there the whole time. Well, even if it's true, I'm not gonna call his mother and accuse her only child of stealing from us. Agnes: They found 4 small balloons of heroin in her stomach. One of them leaked. She gonna be ok? Yeah. It was touch and go for a minute there, but I think she's gonna be ok. You ever heard of something like this happening before? Unfortunately, all the time. They fill balloons or condoms with heroin, they have the kids swallow them, load them up with suppositories to keep them from moving their bowels for 2 or 3 days, then when they get to the contact, they force-feed them laxatives. Uncle Joe. Exactly. This is nice. Burton: Very nice. To be here with family, it's nice. Mm-hmm. So, Jeremy, how's school? I go to the townsend academy, Uncle Burton, located in the lovely cumberland county, away from any civilization, where we enjoy a small teacher-student ratio, great college placement, and the constant aroma of cow dung. [Burton chuckles] Nick went to prep school. Did you like it? No, not really. Jeremy, didn't you want to ask Nick about soccer? No. Jeremy's on the soccer team. Yeah, that was months ago, mom. We thought it would be fun to go down to the civic arena. They're going to have a professional indoor soc-- they don't want to do that, mom. Maybe they do. You know, what is with you? Huh? Suddenly you want to, like, spend time with me, suddenly you're inviting cousin Ernie and Uncle Bert to soccer games. You want to pass the wine, please? You know what? Allow me. Jeremy! What? Haven't you read the studies, Liz? A glass a day is actually good for you. Lowers your blood pressure. And smoking's good for your lungs, right? What do you expect? You said we're a family full of addicts. I never said that. You said that you were the only one who wasn't hooked on something. That's, of course, unless you count the wine. You. And then there's Nick, who's famous for his zany hi-jinx, and Nick's mom, a pill freak. Jeremy... I'm a guest in your house, right? Yeah. So do you think it would be rude of me if I told you, as a guest, that you're a spoiled little jerk? What do you think? I need a ride to this party. I am not taking you. We have guests. Oh, come on, mom, what am I gonna do? Sit here and watch figure skating-- [whispering] Sit down. I'll take you. It was very nice. Thank you. Liz: You're welcome. Well, you sure do give your mom a pretty hard time. I see her... Like... Twice a year. Ok? Winter break and then the month of July, and this is the first time she's even ever been around the house. I don't think she's actually a mom. She told you about my mom taking pills? Did she? I don't know. You don't know? You know everything about your mom? The bulls and clippers are on tonight. The point spread is perfect for a killing. You want to put 50 on it? You want to tell me why you stole my palm pilot? What are you talking about? From the office earlier today. I want it back. You know what, screw you! You know, my father's a little embarrassed to tell your mother, but... Heh heh... I'm not. I didn't take anything. All right, man? [Engine starts] I want to set something straight. Burton: Ok. I never told Anne about your flirting with me. My mother saw us in the pool one afternoon that summer. I don't know where Anne was, but... We were wrestling around in the pool, and my mother saw, and she jumped to a conclusion and told my sister. Ok. But it was the truth. Liz, you were a kid. We were horsing around. No, we weren't. Ahem. What do you want from this vortex deal? My company is in debt for 2 million. I've borrowed against the house, and my equity line is under water. So what do you need from the deal? At least $2.5 million. I need 2 to take care of the debt, and that would leave me with $500,000 for Jeremy. For Jeremy? I have cancer. I'm scheduled to go to the hospital at the end of the week. I'd like this closed by then. Oh, God. I'm... I'm sorry, Liz. I-- melanoma. They think it might be heading for my lymph nodes. So what are they gonna do for it? I'm gonna have surgery. They're gonna cut it out. I'll do radiation and chemo, and that will be that. It's not a big deal, Burton. They'll operate, they'll take it out, and that will be that. Well, what about Jeremy, does he know about this? Not yet. [Front door opens] When you gonna tell him? Ready? Yeah, yeah. We'll talk tomorrow, ok? Yeah. Good night. Good to see you. You, too. Yeah. That was great. Thank you. Mm-hmm. Nick, I really hope that you and Jeremy can get to know each other. I mean, after his dad left, he's never really had any kind of male influence in his life. Uh, but, you know, my father's probably a better choice for that kind of thing. No, I can tell. Jeremy could really use a guy like you. [Telephone rings] Excuse me. [Ring] Liz is sick. Cancer. James mooney? Yeah? Jonathan goldsmith from the U. S. attorney's office. I understand Joe nassurn paid you a visit. That's right. The police checked the address. He's disappeared. Ok. Joe nassurn has a lot of nieces and nephews, from Thailand, Cambodia, South America. They come through here loaded to the gills with dope, show up at his apartment long enough to crap it out or puke it up, and then he gives them a small amount of money and sends them back home on the next plane. What do you want? I want to know the name of the person who put your client on that plane in Thailand. What will you give her for that? I'll make sure they don't prosecute her back home. Prosecute? Thai juvenile justice is a lot different than ours. She wants asylum. Mr. mooney, don't be fooled. This is certainly not her first trip into the states carrying drugs. Her passport indicates she's been here twice before, and that's just this passport. She's still a 10-year-old girl who needs a chance. I understand that, but I can't change the rules. I'll pay Liz 1 and a half million. Ok, we need to get to 2. [Whispering] 2 and a half. 2.5. There's nothing I'd like better than to pay Liz your number, but we're in the second straight year of an ad decline Brian, Liz doesn't have to sell. She's posting strong growth even in this slow time. I mean, let's face it. This is the top ad firm in the city. Now either you want to do business with this woman, or you don't. All right, let me talk to my board. Your board? It was my understanding that you could get to yes. I can. Ms. hetherington offered you an exclusive first-look option because she believed that you would negotiate in good faith. 1.75 million. 2.5 for that, she has to sign a 5-year employment agreement with strict non-compete terms. No, Brian, that ties up too much of her time. Without Liz, this company is nothing but phones and paper, and we'll expect her to get a life insurance policy. That's not a problem, is it? No. No, it's not a problem at all. [Knock on door] Come in. Burton. I'm confused. I'm sure you are, Jake. You ask me to take point, and then you kind of undercut my authority in there. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. We could've closed it clean for 1.75. I know. So now we just sit it out? Liz has cancer, Jake. What? Found out last night. Is it serious? Mm-hmm. Burton, I'm so sorry. You know, you should have told me about this before the meeting. I--I am trying to get vortex as our client, and I--I really don't want to do a deal with them that can turn out badly. [Door opens] [Door closes] The U.S. attorney wants names from kalaya. What does kalaya get? Protection from the thai penal system. Come on. She'll be dead in the streets. Yeah. That's why I didn't take the deal. I lined up a couple of prospective foster parents. Do you think we have any kind of a shot in here today? Probably not, Ms. Agnes. Hmm. Liz: How did it go today? Well, they want you to get life insurance. Heh! I can't do it. Well, then the deal may not come off. I told you about my little problem because we're family. It has nothing to do with this deal. I didn't say a word to them about that. This is just standard stuff. When an individual is a commodity, people want insurance. Fine. I'll get another lawyer. What? I'll go kirk and McGee. [Chuckling] Liz, there's other ways to approach this thing. You never change, Burton. What does that mean? You lawyer everybody, question everything. You talk about the rules? I'm asking you to do a simple deal. And I'm telling you this is not a simple deal. Did someone tell them about this? Well, I didn't betray you. You told them, didn't you? Well, of course, I didn't. I'm trying to help you. This is exactly how you were with my sister. I'm not gonna have that conversation, you understand? This is about business. Right now, your deal does not look so good because you can't get life insurance. Now I suggest you just relax and look at your other options. Like what? Like I go to vortex personally, see if I can get them to back off the insurance demand. They'll probably lower the price, and I'm not even sure they'd go for it, but they might. But before I do anything, you've got to decide on your lowest number. Kalaya is an orphan. If she were to return to Bangkok, she would be reunited with a band of exploitive drug runners. The odds of her surviving are minimal. The odds of her living a normal life are zero. You honor, we cannot grant asylum based on an individual's socioeconomic situation, or a lack of family. We just can't. You honor, with the help of social services, we have found a responsible couple willing to take care of kalaya. If she were to stay here, she would have a chance to live a normal life... A chance to be a person... And not a 62 pound heroin suitcase. [Knock on door] Hey. Thank you for-- for not telling my mom. No, thank you for bringing it back. Look, uh... Nick, the whole reason I took-- no, you don't need to tell me, Jeremy. Well, I'm in trouble at, uh, at school with some kids. What do you mean? Well, the thing is I met these kids, uh, from easton, and they take bets on like, uh, like sports games and stuff. Making book? Yeah, yeah. Making-- making book. And, uh, I'm kind of like-- kind of like the representative at my school. Ok. Shut the door and sit down. And so, this kid... He bets $5,000 on the alamo bowl over/under. Right? And loses? It's 44, the over/under, right? And there's, like, 10 seconds left in the game and the score is 23 to 20, and so, everything's good. You know? But then, the quarterback, he fumbles-- ok, just get to the point, Jeremy. So, this kid ends up losing. And I go to him, and he doesn't pay me. Instead, he goes to the Dean, tells the Dean, and the Dean expels me. When did this happen? Um...3 weeks ago. I don't know. But there's 2 days left in winter break and I can't even go back to school. And what about the money? God, I owe this guy $6,000 now, and next week it's gonna be 7. He says if I don't have it by the end of the week, he's gonna come to my house and take it from my mother, so... Let's get some lunch. Bailiff: All rise. Judge: Having reviewed the petition briefs, and based on arguments presented, I hereby deny the petitioner's request for asylum. Your honor, may I be heard? You have been heard, Mr. mooney. There's no legal basis to grant asylum here. The petitioner shall be returned to her home immediately upon her release from the hospital. [Gavel bangs] How long you been out of school? Ahem. I got kicked out 2 weeks before winter recess. What have you been doing? Oh, you know. Intercepting mail, phone calls. Just trying to figure this whole thing out, basically. Well, you gotta tell your mom. [Cell phone rings] That's, uh... That's the bookie. I'm not gonna answer it. What? What? I don't have the money. What do you want me to do? Ok, you tell your mom, she gives you the money, you're out of debt. Then you enroll in a public school. You make it-- you make it sound just so easy. It's--it's not-- I will give you until tonight to tell your mom. Nick, please, man. I will get the money. Ok? That's--that's not a problem. I'll get it from this guy who owes me anyway, and I can pay him back with that and she'll never know. Ok? [Cell phone rings] Uh... Please don't make me sorry that I told you this. Your client will talk? Not on your terms. What do you want? An s-visa. No. What do-- TRENT HAAGA: All right. No, let's get smoking. Let's have him go. LLOYD KAUFMAN: Can we come back tomorrow? TRENT HAAGA: Here we go. Let's go. MAN: No. LLOYD KAUFMAN: Can we redo it late tonight? TRENT HAAGA: You're right. Let's go. LLOYD KAUFMAN: No. LLOYD KAUFMAN: Let's go. Smoke! Lights! Everyone get ready. This isn't how you make a movie. MAN: This isn't fun, no. I'm telling you right now, man. This-- this is how you make a movie. Get people to argue with another. And then you go, (IMITATING LLOYD) what Is this, a fucking debate squad? Is this debating club? Am I standing in the middle of debating club? I'm like, you fucking died. That was pretty good, huh? Dude, there's no way. Oh, he's gonna kill me when he sees this, man. LLOYD KAUFMAN: Yeah, we'll shoot. We'll shoot it. We need Toxie, though. MAN: Do you need background? LLOYD KAUFMAN: Yeah you can sit there. Doesn't hurt. LLOYD KAUFMAN: What the-- who [inaudible] him? I didn't-- LLOYD KAUFMAN: Get him back. Tell him to put the makeup back on. We'll just use his body, right? Who wrapped him? I didn't wrap him. LLOYD KAUFMAN: Yeah, I know. Well, nobody should wrap until we wrap. That's ridiculous. Just get him in with his body, right? Oh, that's bad stuff, right? I won't continue with that. CAT: I didn't wrap him. I'm sorry. Well, who did wrap him? CAT: I have no idea. He's in effects getting his makeup taken off. MAN: Easy. Easy, Lloyd. MAN: Well, where does the [inaudible]? Yeah, you got to-- you can't do that, right? Hey, you guys can't do this stuff Until he's wrapped, right? I'm the director. I'm the boss. Don't wrap until you get the word directly from the top. I'm sorry if you were misinformed. It obviously was a boo boo. And again, I'm grateful. It's the best makeup we've ever had, The best Toxie we've ever had. But there might be some major miscommunication. And if it happens, it'll be a four-hour wait. So please-- this didn't matter, this one. But please just check first, right? Please, please, please. Tox-- uh, David, thank you very much. It was a wonder day. Are you satisfied? Everything all right? LLOYD KAUFMAN: But you're OK? LLOYD KAUFMAN: We can't do any better. We cannot do any better. I can't make the movie any other way. This is the best-- this may be harder than most of the days. I don't know. But the only good-- the only thing I can suggest Is when we're outdoors, we only have so much daylight. That may help you at the bottom end. But at the top end, it means earlier, you know, David. So I wish we could do better for you. Your patience is gonna be tried. LLOYD KAUFMAN: There is, but it ain't-- the movies-- at least, In our movies, the shooting schedule, it means very little, Because things happen. Shit happens, you know. So you got to let me know if there's some problem. You know what I mean? Hopefully, things will be better as we go on with this thing. But there are gonna be unexpected things, and-- LLOYD KAUFMAN: It won't happen. I'd love it. No one would like it more than I, But I don't think we will get it. I just am afraid we will not get it. This stuff, we had a lot of actors. So maybe, you know-- maybe tomorrow Will be a little easier. I don't know. [Laughs] He cant' leave. I told him to dye his hair. I told you I needed to make his hair black, Because otherwise it looked like-- people Was saying it's Tromaville. But now I don't know where he is. We're late again. Every day, it's late. It's fucking-- we're shooting exteriors, right? What time is it? It's almost fucking 10 o'clock. How's it going? Well, we haven't got a shot off yet. This is exciting. The script is exciting. I loved it. -Oh, I'm glad you liked it. I loved it. I thought it was so funny. It's so funny. So you liked the script? You think it's as good as "Shakespeare in Love"? Oh, much better. When you're not busy, could me and him talk to you? Sure. Because he has something pretty big going on. -Oh, yeah? -Yeah. Pretty big? Well, I ought to hear about it right now. He wants to make a movie? Yeah? He's making a book right now. Uh-huh. And he has his own characters and everything. And he wanted to know if he could make a movie out of it. Why not? Just keep-- you have to have, like, a script or something. You got to get some money. You have to raise money. You need money to make a movie. Well, I guess he could bring it to us, you know. He's made his own book. -Really? -Yeah. -Oh, maybe-- -We have a club. We have everything. -Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Cool. Good going. It sounds really interesting. Well, let's-- what's the next step? The next step is-- I guess talk about it at some point. Yeah. -Yeah. All right, all right. Well, maybe after we finish shooting this one, Perhaps we can have a discussion-- He looks a little worried. [Laughs] He is. LLOYD KAUFMAN: It's a movie-- Ever since he was four, he's been making up this thing. Really, no kidding? Wow. What's the name of the story? "Ochie and Friends." LLOYD KAUFMAN: What is it? "Ochie and Friends." LLOYD KAUFMAN: "Ochie and Friends." Great. And who is Ochie, or what is it Ochie? They're, like, these beings from, like, Far, far into outer space. And they're in their own kind of solar system. But they have to go to a totally different planet. And they're only, like, 12. But they still get all this stuff. And they get rockets. It sounds too good for Troma. It sounds like big Hollywood. We're a small company. You guys haven't seen any of our movies, probably? No. Our movies are kind of raunchy. So it sounds pretty good. Let's get together, and maybe I can be helpful. And I'll certainly try to help you with it. It's nice of you to help your brother, too. Yeah. Good older brother. Well, we'll try to- - Troma team will help the Ochie team. Anyway, have a great day and thank you. Thank you. Good luck with it. Thanks. Bye. See you later. INTERVIEWER: So Joe, how's today going? JOE: Well, considering I just got here and I'm already tired, Thirsty, and sweating like a pig, It's just another day at Tromaville. [Set chatter] INTERVIEWER: So what's on the plate for today? JOE: Well, today's my first appearance as Chester, The particle physicist. So there's going to be, you know, What, my great love scene. There's going to be my first interactions with Toxie, A lot of mistaken identities. INTERVIEWER: So are you looking forward to all of this? JOE: I'm looking forward to getting it over with. [Chatter] 10 minutes. I need Lloyd's approval, though. [Chatter] LLOYD KAUFMAN: You should get the house Of stupids here doing the sign. You got eight people. They can't get a sign up. That's what you DVD. This is the house of stupidity. Can we do it now? How is that thing? If somebody, like, does a little flick to it, Will it-- blow on that sign and see if it blows over. [Blowing] MAN: Did you guys dig deep? LLOYD KAUFMAN: The astrological signs are down, But the signs are up. Cold pizza after 10 hours of straight shooting. It was cold pizza. INTERVIEWER: Well, if you'll remember, the first five hours Today, we didn't shoot at all. It wasn't your fault. Yeah, but food is not determined, Like, by how footage we shoot. INTERVIEWER: [laughs] It's usually determined by how long the day goes by. INTERVIEWER: How's the experience been so far, Mike? It fucking sucks, man. [laughs] I'm sleeping bad, losing 20 pounds a week. MAN: Oh, that's not [inaudible]. Yeah, actually, I need to lose the weight. So it's all right. INTERVIEWER: So you love Troma? I love Troma. I'm excited to do the next one. [Laughter] There you go. Set yourself up for that one. WOMAN: OK. We're going to get liquor, liquor, liquor. [laughs] We're on our way to the junkyard scene. [Inaudible] got to be drunk, but we have no liquor. And you got ID? Because underneath your makeup and mask, I can't tell-- not that I'd be able to tell-- [laughs] What the hell's the difference? Hey, honey, how am I gonna be able to tell if it's him Anyway. [laughs] MAN: Have someone else buy it. Look at their ID. Yeah, you look old enough. [Laughter] "The Toxic Avenger." MAN: You should see his costume. I've heard of that. MAN: You've heard of that? We're shooting part 4. (SLURRING) Aw, shite. This isn't the hospital. LLOYD KAUFMAN: No, come on, man. Concentrate, man. You're not doing it, right. It's like, (SLURRING) oh, fucking, shite. What the-- this isn't the-- you've got to get over here. This isn't the-- the camera's looking at us, right? This isn't the fucking hospital. Aw, shite. This-- you know, this isn't the fucking hospital. Do it like- - I'm a fucking failure! I suck! I suck! INTERVIEWER: Could you do that again for the camera, Lloyd? [Laughter] Well, I'd say that. (SLURRING) I fucking suck! My movie was a fu-- no, no. [Laughter] HEIDI SJURSEN: I told my mom this morning That I was gonna be making out with a chick today. What did she say? [Laughs] My mom's so cool. Like, she didn't flip. She was like, really? Like OK, honey, have a good time. Yeah, have a good time. Did everything work out yesterday With the Sapphic love scene? No. Why, what happened? There was a revolution. The actress did not wish to take her clothes off. And, you know, and she did the first scene With Toxie lovemaking. She's been established. So there wasn't really too much we could do. [Inaudible] [gasp] Yeah, baby. It's good for the baby. HEIDI SJURSEN: Oh, baby. [Moan] [Moan] Cut. It's done that way just to [inaudible]. LLOYD KAUFMAN: I'm just trying to convince the actress To take her clothes off, something which was contracted To, and something which was agreed upon, Something which was rehearsed, and something Which was pre-recorded on tape. INTERVIEWER: And this isn't gonna happen? That's what's going on. But now we're gonna shoot Toxie. Who's doing Toxie's makeup? Anybody doing Toxie's makeup? Or are we not making this movie? Yeah, we have somebody who's doing it. [Chatter] MAN: Lloyd, it was a closed set. LLOYD KAUFMAN: Yes, I agree. But people can stand by. They can stand by. And when we're ready for somebody, they can be there. MAN: How are they gonna be there, Lloyd? They can be right in the back. And then when we call for them, they can be there, right? I'm sorry. I've been making movies for a long time. People can stay off the set and be Available when they're needed. There's a little bit of- - I'm not Quite sure how to describe it. But you can interview some people on the set. There was a little bit of that actress stuff Going on yesterday, I'm afraid. But I think we managed to nip it in the bud. No, not at all. And I didn't plan on not doing it. LLOYD KAUFMAN: Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be fine. [High-pitched noise] If we don't shut this off, we won't Be able to hear the church bells when they start going, see. OK, camera is ready. Quiet on set, please. Standing by. WOMAN: No more bell ringers. [Bell ringing] ALL: Aw. Man. Sorry. [Laughter] (SINGING) How low is the true-- MAN: You're making it up as you go along. --[humming] I know it, believe me. I know them all. WOMAN: Where are you picking these things up? I love Coltrane. Oliver Wendell Holmes said, "the man cannot truly Live unless he shares in the actions And passions of his times." Right, [inaudible]? Uh, yeah. Pretty soon, it's [inaudible]. Every time I hire someone who is a friend of Lloyd's, it's Inevitably a fucking nightmare, you know. So I don't know. It's 'cause Lloyd's old, and all his friends are old. And they're all fucking assholes. [Laughs] INTERVIEWER: What's happening here? We're gonna set a man on fire. INTERVIEWER: Why? Because it's cool. INTERVIEWER: Why? Because the school has blown up. And this flaming janitor comes out the door. TJ is the janitor of the school. And after the building blows up, he's the person One that comes out in flames. So Kimberly's gonna light him. BRENDAN FLYNT: Now, this is a broomstick That's lit in flames? WOMAN: Just the tip. It's like a long match. BRENDAN FLYNT: Yeah, a long match. OK. OK, so she ignites him, staggers along here, Runs around like a maniac. Slides down the banister here and we'll Put him out right down there where that big blood patch is. INTERVIEWER: He's playing a janitor. Who you don't actually see before or after this. But you know, hey, we can light a guy on fire, So might as well, right? Now is there flames only on his back, Or his front, or his side? His full back. BRENDAN FLYNT: Right, right, OK. Nothing on the front. So that's why he's gonna be twisting. Yeah, I'll be twisting and getting the flame all the way. And [shouting] BRENDAN FLYNT: Right, right, OK. INTERVIEWER: And that way it's cheaper to set on fire A non-established character. I don't think it matters. I think it was more like that was on his resume. And they went, oh, there's an idea. So now he starts right here. MAN: Where are your cameras? He'll do the whole stunt. I get most of the flame. You'll still get your stuff here. Is that OK? So I'm gonna have both cameras at the bottom. MAN: So both the cameras-- BRENDAN FLYNT: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put my cameras down here. MAN: Yeah that' my buddy TJ up there. I'm a little nervous just for him. INTERVIEWER: You're worried for him? Hey, how long have you been doing this? About 22 years. Setting myself on fire, probably about 10. INTERVIEWER: Yeah? You nervous at all? No. INTERVIEWER: So Lloyd, do you think that this body burn will Be better than "Terror Firmer"? You're up. [Screaming] --[sigh] Nothing could be that good. [Laughs] Nothing could be that unbelievable. Not since the Vietnam Buddhist priest Was there such a flame up. INTERVIEWER: So how do you guys do this? How do you light him on fire? Carefully. [Interposing voices] Come over here. I'll show you where to do that. We have Nomex underwear, two pairs, In here soaking in fireproof gel. [Church bells ringing] This should be the soundtrack! Then we have a Nomex jumpsuit over here, which doubles For his janitor costume. We get that all on him, all gelled up, His face and hair gelled up. Then we put on lighter fluid and rubber cement. Light him on fire. He runs around like a maniac. And we extinguish him down here. Maybe you should practice it now, before he Gets the stuff on him. Look at this. Look at this here. [Whimpering] Whoa! Whoa! [Grunting] INTERVIEWER: Damn. [Chatter] OK. Here's what's happening right now. We are locked with camera. The stuntman is prepping. OK, we need some nice, respectful silence While we do this work. And then we're gonna light him on fire. [Whistle] Safety guy up here. INTERVIEWER: What do you think about this next stunt? Every time I've done these, they've been really horrible, So-- INTERVIEWER: They have? TRENT HAAGA: Yeah, I'm not really optimistic. But, you know, we'll see. Want to make a dollar bet? We'll make a dollar bet. INTERVIEWER: OK, I'll make you a dollar. All right. I'll make a dollar bet saying that this sucks. Special concerns concerning the stairs that he Has to run down on fire? No, actually. He's kind of looking forward to it, Because it's sort of like two stunts in one. It's a regular fire burn and the stair fall, So he wants it for his reel. So he's kind of looking forward to it. Is everybody ready? Kimberly, are you ready? -Ready. -TJ, ready? Yes, sir. Camera and crew ready? MAN: Ready. MAN: Quiet on the set, please. We're gonna do this now. Roll camera A. [Beep] MAN: Speed camera A. MAN: Roll camera B. [Whirring] MAN: Speed Camera B. Action, TJ. [Screaming] And cut. [Applause] [Chatter] What was that for? I bet that this would suck. [Laughs] What a fucking, fucking, fucked up thing, man. It was a fucked-up burn. These guys are doing a high fall for us later. It's the same shit every time. Never hire Lloyd's friends. Never. INTERVIEWER: What's your biggest fear of today? Not getting the shots and not going on schedule Are my biggest fear every day. We had a-- we had to have a Toxie stand in, Because our Toxie was late. He's usually incredibly punctual. He's been consistent every single day. I think he's one of the first people on set almost every day. And yet today, he overslept. Fucking dammit. I said 6 o'clock. It's three hours and they can't get the guy into costume. INTERVIEWER: That did not make Lloyd very happy. No, it didn't make anybody very happy. [Inaudible] at the office. Yeah. I can't hold their fucking hands, Lloyd. You can kick them in the ass. You can certainly ring their bloody necks. And you know, mules-- if you kick a mule hard enough, You get it to pull the plow. That's all I know. And you have mules. And you're not kicking them hard enough. It's ridiculous. It throws the rest of us in a tailspin whenever The first shot involves Toxie. Toxie's late. It takes two hours to get his makeup on. And even if he's supposed to be there at 5:00, And all of a sudden it's 6:30 or something and there's no Toxie, It's, like, major. Because then we know the first I can't get off until like 8:30. INTERVIEWER: Lloyd, do you have a word of the morning? Uh, a lot of very, very bad production. No actors. INTERVIEWER: What are you doing, Sandy? I'm making this guy a Toxie double. INTERVIEWER: Why? Because supposedly Dave-- unfortunately, His costume takes a while to prepare. So they want to get this shot done, so-- One just wasn't enough. They're using-- INTERVIEWER: Are you gonna be able to tell That's a different guy? We have a great editor. [Laughs] LLOYD KAUFMAN: We'll get Toxie coming out of-- Who's Toxie? He's not doing stunts or anything. No, no. We just-- we got to have some stuff with Toxie, man. We can't wait around. It's been like five hours since his call time, And he's still not here yet, you know. --[inaudible] close-up when they were coming out Oh, is he here now? I see the van. That's our van, right? LLOYD KAUFMAN: I don't see him, though. Let him see. We got our Toxie, right? Instill the fear of God into Toxie. LLOYD KAUFMAN: I think it's time to- - I'm Not too happy with this. I'm happy to use this guy. It's 10 o'clock. This is ridiculous. We shot with the stand-in, who was inconspicuously Tito's height, when Dave, our really Toxie, Is at least a foot taller. And he normally carries both of us, which is the humor in it. He carries Tito and Sweetie Honey. It's kind of funny, 'Cause Dave's a strong guy, And he can do that. Ah, there you are, sir. Yes, sir. He's been here for like 20 minutes. Oh, god, do they suck ass? And you're already dressed. And what they're gonna do is they're Gonna bring you out through this side, And we're gonna put on your shoes. Great. I'm gonna shoot with this guy, who's Half an inch taller than Mike in the 10-year-old fucking mask? That's brilliant. Who's fucking idea was that? Oh, that looks really great. Motherfuckers. INTERVIEWER: What's that? They got the fucking 10-year-old mask on a 6'2" guy. MAN: It doesn't look anything like-- we have a stunt man. Somebody could have asked. Anybody could have asked. Somebody could have asked. I had no idea they were shooting with it. I'm sure-- I put together pieces of this makeup for a stunt man. They don't care. No, they just don't fucking care. They could do the rest of the movie with a 10-year-old Mask and 6'2" guy. Right? Why not? They just don't care. It's great. Fucking brilliant. [Crowd shouting] [Crowd shouting] MAN: Hey, that's a cut. That's a cut. MAN: That's a cut. That's a cut. That's a cut. Cut, cut, cut. Cut, cut, cut. We need to just have Toxie get up and leave. [Chatter] He's just the stand in so they could try to get some Shots off that don't really-- That guy is like 6'2", if that. I know. That's what I'm talking about. MAN: It's just the shoes. LLOYD KAUFMAN: Morning, David. What's that? We need to have Toxie move, remember? TRENT HAAGA: Yes, I-- He can't stay on his knees, otherwise there's no movie. So how do we-- let's just get the next move. I'm very wide. INTERVIEWER: So why didn't they-- Why didn't they use Dave? Because Dave was late to get in makeup. But by the time we did the scene, he was ready. They just said no. I don't know, really. Hi. I got you, man. I got you. We had people standing by. We had no idea what we could do without Toxie. And nobody could call. But let's just-- can we get past this? All we did was this long shot with a fucking Shitload of smoke. Yeah, can we do it again with me? All right. Let's see what I can do. DAVE: Tell me what you want me to do. All right. Trent give me some blocking here. TRENT HAAGA: Do you want to pick this one up from that point? Just have him get up-- Can we just fill him up with smoke And have him bring the kids on again? Why? I don't want to do it again. -All right. -Absolutely not. In fact, if it happens again, there's gonna Be a fucking 'nother Toxie. TRENT HAAGA: All right, no problem. And In fact, I want that other guy. I want you to get-- hey. Rhonda, Rhonda. We're gonna sign that other guy, and we're gonna pay him. So we can't do the first 12 feet? No, Lloyd won't do it. He's fucking pissed at me. He's pissed at everybody. He's totally psycho. This is a super long shot over the tops Of the heads of crowds. We got fog and-- I was gonna carry them both up. Yeah. Wasn't that good? That was excellent. You know what I mean? I agree. But-- LLOYD KAUFMAN: OK, let's do it? Can we just-- Unbelievable. All right? And it looks like shit. It's gonna look like shit. I can't get through that little flag there. But this guy can. He's a half inch taller than Tito, for christ sake. I know. And now we're not together. I know. Well we just got to-- like I said, man. We're gonna get this in a master. We're gonna get closer, and we're gonna get this. We just need this for the master shot, all right? LLOYD KAUFMAN: So-- Is there any way to go back and just Do the first 12 feet of this? Because in the rehearsal, you said I would Carry both of them, right? -We'll do a close-up. We'll do close-ups. We'll do this thing. We'll have you carrying them out tight. You're like this big in the stuff I'm doing. So we'll get you-- we'll do it again. It's just not gonna match if I'm- - I mean, I was carrying them both in rehearsal [inaudible]. Now we're going to do it to match the way it was When you walked out the door. And that was-- That's what I'm saying. When you walked out the door in there, you had him, And you had her on your arm. And we did that. We had her on-- LLOYD KAUFMAN: Well, can we just do this So I can break this set up? You mean from the other shot? So like-- TRENT HAAGA: Yeah. -We're very late. We're never gonna get a movie. I'm just worried-- You're absolutely right. Can we [inaudible]? DAVE: So I get from here to here. Is that it? LLOYD KAUFMAN: Hey, Hasan. Thank you. That was great. Thank you. Hang in, though. We can still use you as the super stud that you are. [Laugh] And we may need you as Toxie, too. Now, why is he getting out of the costume? Because he might be- - I guess we got the real Toxie. Yeah, you're right. WOMAN: I mean, I can put him back in it. Nah, it's all right. Just stay handy. And we'll keep doing this, I think. Like tomorrow we ought to do it also. INTERVIEWER: So what are you looking over here? It's a short-term, I believe, contract-- 21 days. And it looks in order. But I'm gonna read it just to be sure. Make sure I don't have to give up my first-born Or something like that. INTERVIEWER: And what will that be for? I'm gonna be Toxie's double whenever they need it, I guess. LLOYD KAUFMAN: Yo, you're supposed to stop People from going up here. You see, if they fall down, break their neck with babies. So stop them from going through. [Chatter] We're gonna have a little problem Today, because people are going to be going up that step. We're shooting now. If somebody goes up the steps when the cameras are rolling, That's very bad, because it means we waste film. Yeah. Because you know what'll happen, They'll look at the camera behind them, And then that screws it up. Because then people know that they aren't Supposed to be in the movie. So have to make sure that the pedestrians, very politely, Are told to go around the back, that we're making a movie, That we're going around the back. I don't want women with tiny babies coming through here, Tripping over wires, bumping into people. Right? Now, if you want to see the most unpleasant side of me, Have another person come up the steps. But I'm a nasty, horrible guy. I'm not worried about-- right, you guys Are the sensitive young people. You're worried about-- you know, seriously, come on. Wake up. I'm not gonna screw around, man, when it comes To the people whose little babies are coming through here, I don't care. MAN: Yeah, I'm making a sign. You can dislike me all you want. But I'm sorry. I've been here for an hour. I've been asking for some kind of polite system Of the Poughkeepsie-vilians to go around. They're perfectly willing. They don't want to go through here. You don't want people falling on cables, right, Especially little tiny babies. MAN: I got it. Yeah, well I didn't think you got it, because it's Like the eighth time. So until it gets done, I'm gonna keep being unpleasant, Which I'm pretty good at. And have somebody here. Whatever it takes, right. MAN: I think we're-- I don't want to hear about it. Just do it. It takes the brain of, like-- right. I don't want to waste my 160 IQ on this particular problem. You probably have a genius. Solve it, please. Or I'll just go back there. [inaudible]. I'm not gonna have women and babies Walking through the-- you know, falling down on you guys. I'll go back there. I'll stay there. You guys run it. I'll handle it. INTERVIEWER: Do you think we should have some people Just walk up the steps? --[laughs] Just to piss Lloyd off? INTERVIEWER: Yes. Oh, yeah. You missed the big explosion this morning. He-- no, I'm just kidding. I'm making this all up. Like, I don't even want to start any rumors. INTERVIEWER: Oh, no, no, no. [laughs] Oh. [Laughs] You missed it. [Chatter] Those are the brakes, right? But here we go-- the signs. This is no entry. My mouth. My hands on the piano, on his face... It's all his. Whether I am alive or not. Aro, I love you so much. " He looked strangely happy. He didn't go to the funeral. But he thought only of her. He locked himself away in selma's room. He sang and played the piano. His voice became very beautiful. When did she realize Aro had left? I didn't see him for days. I started looking for him. in the house... In his room... I couldn't find him. I asked around the village. I checked with those who knew him. But nobody had seen him. He disappeared with the Revolution. In 1956, the Russians invaded the country... I never saw him again. I remember... Once he was very sick. He took my hand. He looked at me as if he was begging for something... He called me "SeIma". I didn't understand. But now, that I know more about his life... I realize that he never saw who I really was. Something like that... It's been a Iong time. I can't remember all of it. Do you understand the Iyrics? No, I simply learned it by heart. I think it's a childrens song. A lullaby... My sister and I used to sing a song. We had two versions. One we sang to our mother. About the countryside and flowers. The other I made up with my sister. We only sang it when we were alone. It went something like: "My slut mother fucked a bishop... in Heaven, they ate a piano and two children..." It rhymed in Hungarian. It was funny. Why tell me about your childhood? To entertain you. When he was told of his impending execution, he accepted it with resignation. Like sort of a relief. From confessing to all the crimes. The real ones, as well as those I think were products of his fantasy. He was taken to the firing squad at dawn. Among those present: his defense lawyer, the judge who sentenced him, a priest... although he didn't ask for one... and a firing squad of 10 soldiers. Only half of them fired real bullets. The others shot blanks. That way, no one knew who fired the fatal shot. I was present at the firing of the rifles. He collapsed onto the ground. The squad leader approached him. With a pistol... as was the custom of this kind of execution... He fired the "coup de grace". Do you believe in God? No, but I enjoy the tranquility here. Want to check the gun? I trust you. Another quiet tear Streaks down my face Another night ofdesolation And solitude Just accept me For what I am Don't make promises That you won't keep Who needs dreams When we have each other Who needs tomorrow When we have today - I can't see. - Your corneas are badly damaged. - Will I recover? - Your sight will never be perfect. - My sight is so blurred! - We can do an operation transplant. Will I be blind? Jenny, I'm Sergeant Chang. Do you remember the murderer's face? Please, leave me alone. I'm frightened. Calm down. SIX MONTHS LATER Help! Help! Please help! Just go away. They're gone now. Don't be afraid. I'll take you home. Jenny! How do you know my name? I've listened to you sing so often... Who are you? I feel as if I know you. I know you can't see too well. I've wanted to help, but I never had the chance. In this world, not everybody is untrustworthy. Will you let me help you this time? Is it all right for me to leave? Stay calm. Let me check it out. It's only a cat. It often sneaks in and scratches my furniture. What a pain! - Why did you turn off the light? - You can see? I only see shadows. It was better last month. I could see images. Turn on the light. It makes me feel safer. What are you doing now? Looking at this scarf. It's got my blood stains on it. The man who shot me wrapped it over my eyes. I'll never forget that. - Would you like some tea? - No, thanks. It won't take a minute. Please, sit. I'll put some music on. Another quiet tear Streaks down my face Another night of desolation And solitude Just accept me For what I am Don't make promises That you won't keep Who needs dreams... Relax! You look exactly like what you are, an undercover agent. Lighten up, or it'll be an open secret. Come on. Smile! Now you look like something out ofa nuthouse. Chang, this guy Eddie's a lunatic. Be careful. Same to you, pal. Watch your ass! Eddie, sorry to keep you waiting. - Who the hell is that? - He's a good buddy. - Say hello to Eddie. - Eddie. Search him! Eddie, what's with the security? It's not our first deal. Maybe he looks familiar. Here's $200,000. We'll check the guns first. What are you guys doing? Nothing special, officer. A reunion. Open the trunk. Open it! Now! Damn you! You set me up, didn't you? Are you a cop? Talk! I'm no cop! I didn't betray you. Then how come he's here? He's no cop! I stake my life on it, Eddie! Lying bastard, I shouldn't have trusted you! The guy's a cop. I recognize him! You've got it wrong. Chang, I'll get him! That shithead! Don't move! Goddamn mess, assho-- Finish your sentence. Ass... assho-- Inspector Li, the suspect Eddie Hung held a hostage... in a crowded trolley car... Could you see him clearly? - Could you? - Yes. - Why did you shoot? - Instinct. Did you consider the safety ofthe passengers? Did you sound any warning before you shot? Insufficient time. The hostage had a coronary thrombosis. She died ofa heart attack. Her family has registered an official complaint. - You're responsible for her death. - That's crazy How could I know she had a heart condition? I've been on Eddie Hung's case for seven months. The guy was a maniac. He'd shoot anybody for any reason. Should I have waited until he killed her? You forget I'd just seen him kill a cop. Who's responsible for that cop's death? Fine! Do whateveryou want. I'm used to all sorts ofcomplaints. One more makes no difference. Catch! - How's the action hand? - Pretty useless. Better use it more. It won't help. A one-handed killer's out ofthe action. I've had my day. His name is Tony Weng. He works with a drug ring in Central America. - Who wants him dead? - No questions. Take it or leave it. - 1 .5 million. - Seems high. This is my last hatchetjob. All right, it's a deal. Money's no object. These guns are clean. No serial numbers. Untraceable. Explosive head bullets. Your favorite. Easy to pick up, hard to put down. Want to change your mind? Why take thisjob? Ifshe doesn't have a cornea transplant soon... she might lose her sight forever. There's a cornea bank in Hong Kong... but it's always empty. When a donation does come in, someone else gets it first. So we're going to try abroad. I have to leave you for a few days. When I return, I'll take you overseas for surgery. You will come back, right? I promise. Today is the Dragon Boat Festival. Many VIPs and government officials will attend the opening ceremony. You are assigned to protect them. Their information is in your files. Make sure you're extra alert! Yes, sir! Tony Weng, we're protecting that scum. Attention please! Will all the competitors please assemble before the foating platform... for the dotting ofthe dragon's eye. It's our pleasure to welcome... the president ofTung Yuan Financial Corp., Mr. Tony Weng... the chairman of Rotary Club, Mr. Peter Chu... Cover him up. Keep everything under control. Red alert! red alert! Tony Weng's been shot on the foating platform. The shot came from around the fishingjunks. The killer is probably nearby. All units! Prepare to seal offthe area. Mr. Weng fainted. Everything's fine. Please enjoy your day. Chang! Chang, look over there! An explosion! Let's check it out Chang, we can't lose him now! Freeze! You'll be all right. Don't be afraid. Don't cry. - He's down there! Step on it! - Okay. - Any hospitals nearby? - Think he's got a conscience? He won't let the little girl die. Nurse, where's casualty? Go down the hall. What happened? - A gunshot. - Quickly, put her down. Nurse, check her blood pressure. Prepare her for surgery. Oxygen mask. How is she? Blood pressure unstable. Weak pulse. Blood pressure low. - Have you seen a man carrying a child? - He went to casualty. - Detain anyone suspicious. - Yes, sir! Are you related to the patient? How was she wounded? Sir, you can't leave now! I have to registeryour name. Where is he? I'm an inspector. Just continue. - Right, nurses, ignore them. - Yes. Don't disturb the doctor. Put your guns down. - What happened? - There was a gunshot. - Where? - Over there. Get everybody out. I'll call H.Q - Any progress in the Weng case? - No, none at all. I nearly got the suspect, but he escaped. Where's your razor sharp intuition? Many people want me to fail... so this case means a lot to me. I don't need you letting me down. You always were a pain in the ass. Do me a favor and prove me wrong. Sir, I do nothing for nobody. I'll get the murderer. You'll get your promotion. I hope you don't forget who helped you reach the top. I want you to draw the suspect. Try to bring him to life. He's over 30. He looks determined... without being ruthless. There's something heroic about him. He doesn't look like a killer. He comes across so calm... acts like he has a dream... eyes full of passion. - Hello. - It's me,Jeffrey. Jeffrey? Why haven't you left town? I want my money now. I want it tonight. Tonight! Sure, I'll bring it tonight. Mr. Weng. You should let me handleJeffrey. He's my responsibility. - What if he squeals on me? - He wouldn't. I don't trust anyone, including you! I know the rules ofthe game. I'll keep my word. Forget the rules. I want him dead because he exposed his identity. I'm the boss now, and you'll do things my way. Okay, you kill him for me. Ifyou blow it, you're dead meat. I paid you well enough. Eddie, this could be a lead. Six months ago, Weng's partner, Chu, was cut down in Club Nine. The killer was never caught... but he accidentally blinded a singer. What was her name? Jenny. She hasn't recovered yet. Life's cheap. It only takes one bullet. He's no ordinary assassin. I hope we'rejust looking for one man. If I'm not mistaken... this man is not a cold-blooded murderer. It only takes one bullet, cold-blooded or not. He risked his life to save the little girl. And if he did hurt the singer by accident... he's probably contacted her. Ifwe meet again We'll find out where we stand But perhaps there will be no tomorrow Only time will tell -Jeffrey? - I'm notJeffrey. I'm sorry. I don't see too well. I mistookyou for my friend. It's a beautiful song. Could you sing it again? I only sing for one person. Jeffrey? Your singing is so filled with emotion. I feel I already know him. I wish he was here now. Wherever he may be, you are in his thoughts. Part of him will always be here. You no longer trust me? You know why. Ofcourse. In our profession, we shouldn't trust anyone. How did they know about that beach? They might have followed me... when I drove there. That's my fault. Who wants me dead? Why do you ask? You know the rules. Why didn't you leave town after thejob? I haven't got my money yet. Who wants me dead? Ifyou hadn't exposed your identity, he wouldn't want you dead. Answer me: Who wants to kill me? Answer me first: Do you have any bullets left? I always save the last bullet. Either for myself, or for my enemy. It'sJohnny Weng, Tony Weng's nephew. He wants you dead. He hired you to kill his uncle. Do you really have one last bullet? Jeffrey, thankyou for sparing me. We're in the same boat now. There's no way out for us. Don't let me see you again. Inspector Li! Five dead witnesses. - It was him. - Are you sure? Show his picture. Ask the neighbors if he was here. Okay. No regrets No remorse Let bygones be bygones No signs of melancholy No tears ofself-pity I don't care about what's right or wrong I'm not sentimental about the past Just set me free from this reverie For the pain lingers on It dwells deep in my heart and soul Only time will tell Ifwe are meant for each other My tears and laughter are my own indulgence Inspector, you hit the nail on the head. The neighbors say he lives here. Are you nuts? Jenny! Jeffrey, is that you? Why don't you come back? I'll be back this morning. We're moving to a new home. Why? I thought you loved to live by the sea. I do. Beautiful sea breezes. I can imagine the view ofthe clear blue sky... and the deep blue sea. Great! Packyour things and wait for me. I'll be here. Why didn't you leave Hong Kong immediately? What stopped you? - Are you the newjanitor? - Yes. You're doing a lousyjob. This is a fire escape. Look, there's garbage everywhere. What ifthere's a fire? I can't fy away like a phoenix. I pay my monthly maintenance fee. If I find you goofing offagain, I'll file a complaint. Don't leave any garbage here. Move it all away. Shit! Jeffrey, you're back. Yes,Jenny. Are you with a friend? Yes, he's my old football buddy. We grew up in the same squatter area. Yes. He's... I'm Dumbo, he's Mickey Mouse. That's what you called each other? - It's good to see you again. - The feeling isn't mutual. - You're not pleased to see your friend? - We're not that close. - He's been causing me a lot oftrouble. - I'm here to sort it out. Please sit. I'll put on some tea. - Don't bother. - No need. - Please be careful. - Take care,Jenny. I know how to do it. I won't hurt myself. Jeffrey, take care ofyour friend, meanwhile. Make yourselfat home, Dumbo. I am, Mickey Mouse. Ma'am, why are you so concerned about the garbage? He paid me a thousand bucks to keep you talking. Don't leave now! I haven't had this much fun in 20 years! - You're going to lose this game. - Am I? Lets wait and see. You're always the loser. Not this time. I'm well prepared. Let's put your preparations to the test. - Are you always so determined? - Yes, that's my style. Mine too. So we have something in common. Is that what you think? Definitely. Have some tea while you catch up on old times. Thanks,Jenny. Be careful. - Here's my friend's hand. - Here's your tea. - Thankyou. - A pleasure. Is he another friend ofyours? No, he's thejanitor. We don't have a janitor in this building. Oh, he's the plumber. There's a burst water pipe outside. Your voice sounds familiar. Have we met before? I met you in the night club. I loved your singing, but you wouldn't sing withoutJeffrey there. Oh, I remember. What a coincidence. Dumbo, take care ofJenny for a while. I'm going to the bathroom. So am I. There's a second bathroom in the bedroom. Jenny, there's a rat in the kitchen! I'll catch it. Hey! Don't shoot! It's me! Somebody's aiming at my ass from below! What happened? Where'sJeffrey? I know you both lied to me. Tell me the truth! - Who the hell are you? - I'm a cop. Jeffrey's a professional killer. He murdered somebody. I've been after him for months. - I don't believe you! -Jenny! - Listen to me,Jenny! - No! -Jenny, it's true. - Chang! Jenny, calm down. Listen, please! Sit down. Six months ago... Jeffrey shot your face up by accident. Now his employer wants him dead. I don't believe it! I'd like to help, but I can't, in my position. I hope you'll cooperate with us. Jenny, we're using you as bait. It can bringJeffrey in this time. I'll save his life foryou. Otherwise, the guy who hired him will kill him. Name your price. I want him dead. He was recognized doing thejob. I want him wasted, the sooner the better. Deposit $1 00,000 into my account now... and $200,000 more upon completion. No money, no action, Mr. Weng. Not even if I see his finger on the trigger ready to blow your head off. - Put the hundred grand in his account. - Yes, sir. Mr. Weng! What do you want? You should payJeffrey, or he might come afteryou. That's bullshit! I'm safe. Look at these guys. They're killers. You're the boss. You should keep your word. Don't talk crap. I won't pay him, even ifyou beg. Mr. Weng, let me keep my word and pay him what I promised. Then I'll bring him to you. Mr. Weng, if it pleases you... I will beg. Go to hell! Ifyou hadn't worked for my father for so long... I'd have kicked the shit out ofyou! Who is he? He doesn't deserve your sympathy! Why are you doing all this forJeffrey? He's my best friend. Cut the crap! Come here now! Mr. Weng's been shot. Kill him! Kill him! Don't let him go! - Mr. Weng, you've been hurt! -Just kill him! - Let's go! You're in danger! - Go after him! Ifyou consider me your friend, kill me now. I loathe seeing you demean yourself by begging. Though I didn't succeed... I risked my life trying to get you your money! I could havejust killed you. I didn't have to beg Weng foryour money. I'm not completely without honor, am I? Our world is changing so fast. It never used to be like this. Perhaps we're too nostalgic. Nostalgia is one ofour saving graces. At least when I die, I'll know I was remembered by a friend. Let's settle our differences in the next life. Let's cancel them right now. That's what friends are for. Right? - A drink? - Thankyou. Jenny always wanted to live by the sea. You've done so much for her. I wonder how she feels about you. - Hello? -Jenny! Jeffrey, why did you leave without saying good-bye? I'm sorry. I had something to do. We have to leave tonight. - Tonight? - Dr. Ho called this afternoon. He's reserved a pair ofcorneas, but they're in Singapore. Ifwe're not there by midnight, someone else gets them. All right, I'll take you. Meet me at the airport at 7.30 tonight. I'll wait at the information desk, okay? Ofcourse. Will he come? Will you go? I trust her. Everybody's here. Let's go. How's it going? Right. Full alert now. I want you to check every inch ofthis place. Everything's ready. He'll never get away. Don't worry. We'll take care ofeverything while you're away. Thankyou. Have a nice trip. While I am gone, take good care ofthe company business. Please take care. Jeffrey! Get away from here! Run! She's crazy! Jeffrey! Jeffrey, the cops are everywhere! Run away! Jeffrey, the cops want you! Don't come near me! Jeffrey, are you there? Run! Don't let them catch you! Jeffrey, run! The cops are afteryou! Freeze! Jeffrey, the cops are all around! The cops are everywhere! Run! Jeffrey, run away! It's me,Jenny. Don't move! Let's go. What's wrong, officer? Flirting isn't a crime. Arrest him! Keep clear, everyone. Let me through. Open those suitcases. - What were you doing at the airport? - Chasing a piece ofass. What's yourjob? I'm a casting agent for movie companies. - But you resisted arrest! - I was drunk. Stand up and walk a straight line! - Where's your friend? - What friend? You know who. He's in grave danger. Help him. Tell me where he is. I want to help him solve his problem. I have some questions to ask him. That's none of my business. Ifthe guy you're talking about is my friend... he sure doesn't need your help. Starting now, you're offthe Weng case. Inspector Chan will take over. You're getting another case. - What's the reason? - I don't trust you. Siding with the suspect is not the way to catch him. Sir, you don't understand how I work. You said it! That's why you're offthe case. I won't give up the investigation. Bullshit! Chang, you'll be Chan's assistant. Yes, sir. Release the man you just arrested. Give him 24-hour surveillance. He'll lead us to Weng's assassin. - Have you got that? - Yes, sir. Will you kill again? I thought the people I killed deserved to die. Now I believe everybody has the right to live. No, I won't kill again. I hope I can keep my promise. I've been followed. Weng's men, and the cops too. Don't worry, I lost them. Weng hired Paul Yau to waste you. Don't worry, you can use my guns and ammo. - Where are you going? - To get your money offWeng. I'll meet you in the church. - Are you going alone? - Yes, ofcourse. I must keep my promise. Weng won't hurt me. I still deserve some respect. Sidney, I don't need the money. I do need your friendship. Chang! Chang! I followed him to 6 Horizon Drive. I almost got him. I know. I could have... got him. Don't worry, I'll find him. Chang, don't worry. Eddie. You can't win all the time. But you can't lose forever, either. Chang... Chang... Inspector Li, did he give us anything? Go ask him yourself! -Jeffrey! -Jenny, what is it? Why is it so dark this morning? It'sjust a cloudy day. Relax, it'll be all right. - Are we leaving today? - Yes. Freeze! Who is it? It's Mickey Mouse. What does he want? He's come to say good-bye. What are you waiting for? I'm a cop. I don't shoot people in the back. Another way we're the same. No, we're not the same! I uphold the law, and you break it! Chang died because ofyou. I swore I'd get you this time. I'm sorry, but I won't let you lock me up. Ifyou must take revenge foryour friend, shoot me now. Don't force me to kill you! - You'd really kill me? - I won't let you go this time. Go ahead. You can't win all the time. Jeffrey, where are you? Where is he? Right in front ofyou. - Don't take him away. -Jenny! Jeffrey's promised me he'll never kill again. Put that gun down. Jenny, put that gun down. Not unless he leaves us alone. I beg you, please, let us go. I'll never let you arrest him! Did I kill him? ls he dead? I didn't mean to kill him. I didn't mean it. He's all right. I didn't mean to... He's fine. Calm down, be brave! - You stay there! -Jeffrey! Let's get out of here. Then you can arrest me. Let's getJenny out of here. The car's outside. Come on! I won't let you put me behind bars! Throw the gun down. You wouldn't kill a cop. Thankyou. You could have killed me with one shot. I don't kill anybody until I know they are the real enemy. - Do you really know me? - Fate controls everything. The only person who really knows me turns out to be a cop. You could always give yourself up. No. I made a promise. I keep my word. Sometimes, I really envy you, your freedom. It's something I don't have. I believe in justice, but nobody trusts me. I have the same problem. You're an unusual cop. And you're an unusual killer. I'm sorry to drag you into this mess. Tell me, who's behind all this? That's not my game. I play by the rules. I knew you would never tell me. Take care ofJenny. Weng won't stop until he kills you. You'd better let me arrest you. We'll stay here tonight. Sidney will bring me my money, and we'll leave tomorrow. I'm scared those gangsters will find us here. Don't worry. This place isn't easy to find. Why is it so dark? I can hardly see anything. Jeffrey, turn on the lights. Why don't you turn on the lights? Jeffrey. Please turn them on. There's been a power failure. Will your friend come back with the money? I'm sure he will. I'm sure he will. Boss. Here's the $1 00,000. Please check it. You think he can kill Jeffrey? Boss, Sidney Fung is here. What if he betrays you again? I'd still consider him my friend. He was so good to me. - Where isJeffrey's money? - Where the hell is he? I wish that I had a friend like you. You will, one ofthese days. Drop your guns! Your right hand still works? Well enough. It's still fast and accurate. You've got no way out. Why are you doing this? You tell me, what's the alternative? - Where's the money? - Give it to me! I'm one step ahead. Why didn't you shoot me in the head? Maybe I'm no longer a professional. I wish I could start all over again. It's a pity... - Give me the cash. - Where isJeffrey? Give me the money first. We owe it to him. Hypocrite! Do all killers have a sense of honor? The world has changed. Honor is now a dirty word. Sidney, sometimes I think you're not human. You're more like a dog. At least we have one thing in common: We both use guns for a living. But our motivations are different. Right? In some ways dogs are superior to men. Ifyou don't tell me whereJeffrey is, this is your funeral. Throw this garbage away. - Give me the money! - Are you sure you still got bullets? You wanna bet? Jeffrey said, always save one last slug. Either foryourself, oryour enemy. Hurry! Turn around! Goddamn it! Get him! Promise me one thing: If I don't make it, take me to a hospital. Have them save my corneas forJenny. Ifthat's impossible... organize my money and send her abroad for surgery. Don't think like that. It's the first decent thing I've ever done. Will you help me? What's that noise? Who is it,Jeffrey? Sidney. Here's your money. I fought for it like a man. This is my last tribute to a friend. Sidney, you didn't have to do this. He said I was a dog. Now I'm not sure if I'm human or a dog. Sidney, nobody can call you a dog. Sidney! Sidney! Sidney! Am I a dog? No, you're not a dog. You're a great man! We're outmoded characters. We're outcasts. I don't want to die like a dog. But you see, I didn't keep one last bullet. I have one. -Jeffrey! -Jenny, don't move! Don't leave me alone! - What'll you do? - Storm my way out! Don't kill anymore, please! Give up your guns and come with me. What? You saw me kill Sidney. He was my best friend! And you dare tell me to surrender? When Chang died, I swore I'd kill you. But now I don't want you dead. Get out of here withJenny. How? They'll chase me to the ends ofthe earth! I have nowhere to go! Get out there and say you're a cop. See ifthey give up their guns! Jenny! Jeffrey! Dumbo! Thanks, Mickey Mouse! I owe you. You owe me nothing. This is a gift offriendship. Good luck! Jenny, take cover! Don't move! Jenny! Jenny! Dumbo! - Give me a gun! - Here! How good a shot are you? I'm a cop. I have to be good! We've been through so much, and I don't even know your name. Is it important? Whether we win or lose, you won't be around. I'd like to have a name to rememberyou by. Would you rather see me dead or set free? Neither, iffate spares us. You're a hell ofa good friend. Just remember me as Mickey Mouse. Why not? Leave her alone! She's innocent! Drop your gun! You heard me, hurry up! Jeffrey! Where are you,Jeffrey? Don't be afraid,Jenny. I'm in front ofyou. Drop your gun! Jenny, don't move an inch! Don't hurt her. I won't hurt her. I'll just kill her! Release her! - Let her go,Johnny! - No way! What if I don't? Like I said, drop your guns! Dumbo. Will you do what you promised? No problem. Remember, there's always a friend to backyou up. Drop the guns, or I'll kill her! Drop your gun, idiot! Jeffrey! Jeffrey! -Jeffrey! -Jenny! Jeffrey, where are you? Jeffrey! Jeffrey! - Freeze! Don't move! - Okay, okay, I surrender. I'll cooperate. Arrest me, please! You're an unusual cop. And you're an unusual killer. I believe in justice, but nobody trusts me. I have the same problem. - Arrest him! - Yes, sir. I'll do it. Arrest me! I'm asking for police custody! I'm a criminal! Arrest me! Jeffrey... my friend. Do you believe in God? No, but I enjoy the tranquility here. Want to check the gun? I trust you. Another quiet tear Streaks down my face Another night ofdesolation And solitude Just accept me For what I am Don't make promises That you won't keep Who needs dreams When we have each other Who needs tomorrow When we have today - I can't see. - Your corneas are badly damaged. - Will I recover? - Your sight will never be perfect. - My sight is so blurred! - We can do an operation transplant. Will I be blind? Jenny, I'm Sergeant Chang. Do you remember the murderer's face? Please, leave me alone. I'm frightened. Calm down. SIX MONTHS LATER Help! Help! Please help! Just go away. They're gone now. Don't be afraid. I'll take you home. Jenny! How do you know my name? I've listened to you sing so often... Who are you? I feel as if I know you. I know you can't see too well. I've wanted to help, but I never had the chance. In this world, not everybody is untrustworthy. Will you let me help you this time? Is it all right for me to leave? Stay calm. Let me check it out. It's only a cat. It often sneaks in and scratches my furniture. What a pain! - Why did you turn off the light? - You can see? I only see shadows. It was better last month. I could see images. Turn on the light. It makes me feel safer. What are you doing now? Looking at this scarf. It's got my blood stains on it. The man who shot me wrapped it over my eyes. I'll never forget that. - Would you like some tea? - No, thanks. It won't take a minute. Please, sit. I'll put some music on. Another quiet tear Streaks down my face Another night of desolation And solitude Just accept me For what I am Don't make promises That you won't keep Who needs dreams... Relax! You look exactly like what you are, an undercover agent. Lighten up, or it'll be an open secret. Come on. Smile! Now you look like something out ofa nuthouse. Chang, this guy Eddie's a lunatic. Be careful. Same to you, pal. Watch your ass! Eddie, sorry to keep you waiting. - Who the hell is that? - He's a good buddy. - Say hello to Eddie. - Eddie. Search him! Eddie, what's with the security? It's not our first deal. Maybe he looks familiar. Here's $200,000. We'll check the guns first. What are you guys doing? Nothing special, officer. A reunion. Open the trunk. Open it! Now! Damn you! You set me up, didn't you? Are you a cop? Talk! I'm no cop! I didn't betray you. Then how come he's here? He's no cop! I stake my life on it, Eddie! Lying bastard, I shouldn't have trusted you! The guy's a cop. I recognize him! You've got it wrong. Chang, I'll get him! That shithead! Don't move! Goddamn mess, assho-- Finish your sentence. Ass... assho-- Inspector Li, the suspect Eddie Hung held a hostage... in a crowded trolley car... Could you see him clearly? - Could you? - Yes. - Why did you shoot? - Instinct. Did you consider the safety of the passengers? Did you sound any warning before you shot? Insufficient time. The hostage had a coronary thrombosis. She died of a heart attack. Her family has registered an official complaint. - You're responsible for her death. - That's crazy How could I know she had a heart condition? I've been on Eddie Hung's case for seven months. The guy was a maniac. He'd shoot anybody for any reason. Should I have waited until he killed her? You forget I'd just seen him kill a cop. Who's responsible for that cop's death? Fine! Do whateveryou want. I'm used to all sorts ofcomplaints. One more makes no difference. Catch! - How's the action hand? - Pretty useless. Better use it more. It won't help. A one-handed killer's out ofthe action. I've had my day. His name is Tony Weng. He works with a drug ring in Central America. - Who wants him dead? - No questions. Take it or leave it. - 1 .5 million. - Seems high. This is my last hatchetjob. All right, it's a deal. Money's no object. These guns are clean. No serial numbers. Untraceable. Explosive head bullets. Your favorite. Easy to pick up, hard to put down. Want to change your mind? Why take thisjob? Ifshe doesn't have a cornea transplant soon... she might lose her sight forever. There's a cornea bank in Hong Kong... but it's always empty. When a donation does come in, someone else gets it first. So we're going to try abroad. I have to leave you for a few days. When I return, I'll take you overseas for surgery. You will come back, right? I promise. Today is the Dragon Boat Festival. Many VIPs and government officials will attend the opening ceremony. You are assigned to protect them. Their information is in your files. Make sure you're extra alert! Yes, sir! Tony Weng, we're protecting that scum. Attention please! Will all the competitors please assemble before the foating platform... for the dotting ofthe dragon's eye. It's our pleasure to welcome... the president of Tung Yuan Financial Corp., Mr. Tony Weng... the chairman of Rotary Club, Mr. Peter Chu... Cover him up. Keep everything under control. Red alert! red alert! Tony Weng's been shot on the foating platform. The shot came from around the fishingjunks. The killer is probably nearby. All units! Prepare to seal offthe area. Mr. Weng fainted. Everything's fine. Please enjoy your day. Chang! Chang, look over there! An explosion! Let's check it out Chang, we can't lose him now! Freeze! You'll be all right. Don't be afraid. Don't cry. - He's down there! Step on it! - Okay. - Any hospitals nearby? - Think he's got a conscience? He won't let the little girl die. Nurse, where's casualty? Go down the hall. What happened? - A gunshot. - Quickly, put her down. Nurse, check her blood pressure. Prepare her for surgery. Oxygen mask. How is she? Blood pressure unstable. Weak pulse. Blood pressure low. - Have you seen a man carrying a child? - He went to casualty. - Detain anyone suspicious. - Yes, sir! Are you related to the patient? How was she wounded? Sir, you can't leave now! I have to registeryour name. Where is he? I'm an inspector. Just continue. - Right, nurses, ignore them. - Yes. Don't disturb the doctor. Put your guns down. - What happened? - There was a gunshot. - Where? - Over there. Get everybody out. I'll call H.Q - Any progress in the Weng case? - No, none at all. I nearly got the suspect, but he escaped. Where's your razor sharp intuition? Many people want me to fail... so this case means a lot to me. I don't need you letting me down. You always were a pain in the ass. Do me a favor and prove me wrong. Sir, I do nothing for nobody. I'll get the murderer. You'll get your promotion. I hope you don't forget who helped you reach the top. I want you to draw the suspect. Try to bring him to life. He's over 30. He looks determined... without being ruthless. There's something heroic about him. He doesn't look like a killer. He comes across so calm... acts like he has a dream... eyes full of passion. - Hello. - It's me, Jeffrey. Jeffrey? Why haven't you left town? I want my money now. I want it tonight. Tonight! Sure, I'll bring it tonight. Mr. Weng. You should let me handle Jeffrey. He's my responsibility. - What if he squeals on me? - He wouldn't. I don't trust anyone, including you! I know the rules ofthe game. I'll keep my word. Forget the rules. I want him dead because he exposed his identity. I'm the boss now, and you'll do things my way. Okay, you kill him for me. Ifyou blow it, you're dead meat. I paid you well enough. Eddie, this could be a lead. Six months ago, Weng's partner, Chu, was cut down in Club Nine. The killer was never caught... but he accidentally blinded a singer. What was her name? Jenny. She hasn't recovered yet. Life's cheap. It only takes one bullet. He's no ordinary assassin. I hope we'rejust looking for one man. If I'm not mistaken... this man is not a cold-blooded murderer. It only takes one bullet, cold-blooded or not. He risked his life to save the little girl. And if he did hurt the singer by accident... he's probably contacted her. Ifwe meet again We'll find out where we stand But perhaps there will be no tomorrow Only time will tell -Jeffrey? - I'm not Jeffrey. I'm sorry. I don't see too well. I mistookyou for my friend. It's a beautiful song. Could you sing it again? I only sing for one person. Jeffrey? Your singing is so filled with emotion. I feel I already know him. I wish he was here now. Wherever he may be, you are in his thoughts. Part of him will always be here. You no longer trust me? You know why. Ofcourse. In our profession, we shouldn't trust anyone. How did they know about that beach? They might have followed me... when I drove there. That's my fault. Who wants me dead? Why do you ask? You know the rules. Why didn't you leave town after thejob? I haven't got my money yet. Who wants me dead? Ifyou hadn't exposed your identity, he wouldn't want you dead. Answer me: Who wants to kill me? Answer me first: Do you have any bullets left? I always save the last bullet. Either for myself, or for my enemy. It'sJohnny Weng, Tony Weng's nephew. He wants you dead. He hired you to kill his uncle. Do you really have one last bullet? Jeffrey, thankyou for sparing me. We're in the same boat now. There's no way out for us. Don't let me see you again. Inspector Li! Five dead witnesses. - It was him. - Are you sure? Show his picture. Ask the neighbors if he was here. Okay. No regrets No remorse Let bygones be bygones No signs of melancholy No tears ofself-pity I don't care about what's right or wrong I'm not sentimental about the past Just set me free from this reverie For the pain lingers on It dwells deep in my heart and soul Only time will tell Ifwe are meant for each other My tears and laughter are my own indulgence Inspector, you hit the nail on the head. The neighbors say he lives here. Are you nuts? Jenny! Jeffrey, is that you? Why don't you come back? I'll be back this morning. We're moving to a new home. Why? I thought you loved to live by the sea. I do. Beautiful sea breezes. I can imagine the view ofthe clear blue sky... and the deep blue sea. Great! Packyour things and wait for me. I'll be here. Why didn't you leave Hong Kong immediately? What stopped you? - Are you the new janitor? - Yes. You're doing a lousy job. This is a fire escape. Look, there's garbage everywhere. What if there's a fire? I can't fy away like a phoenix. I pay my monthly maintenance fee. If I find you goofing offagain, I'll file a complaint. Don't leave any garbage here. Move it all away. Shit! Jeffrey, you're back. Yes,Jenny. Are you with a friend? Yes, he's my old football buddy. We grew up in the same squatter area. Yes. He's... I'm Dumbo, he's Mickey Mouse. That's what you called each other? - It's good to see you again. - The feeling isn't mutual. - You're not pleased to see your friend? - We're not that close. - He's been causing me a lot oftrouble. - I'm here to sort it out. Please sit. I'll put on some tea. - Don't bother. - No need. - Please be careful. - Take care,Jenny. I know how to do it. I won't hurt myself. Jeffrey, take care ofyour friend, meanwhile. Make yourselfat home, Dumbo. I am, Mickey Mouse. Ma'am, why are you so concerned about the garbage? He paid me a thousand bucks to keep you talking. Don't leave now! I haven't had this much fun in 20 years! - You're going to lose this game. - Am I? Lets wait and see. You're always the loser. Not this time. I'm well prepared. Let's put your preparations to the test. - Are you always so determined? - Yes, that's my style. Mine too. So we have something in common. Is that what you think? Definitely. Have some tea while you catch up on old times. Thanks,Jenny. Be careful. - Here's my friend's hand. - Here's your tea. - Thankyou. - A pleasure. Is he another friend ofyours? No, he's thejanitor. We don't have a janitor in this building. Oh, he's the plumber. There's a burst water pipe outside. Your voice sounds familiar. Have we met before? I met you in the night club. I loved your singing, but you wouldn't sing without Jeffrey there. Oh, I remember. What a coincidence. Dumbo, take care of Jenny for a while. I'm going to the bathroom. So am I. There's a second bathroom in the bedroom. Jenny, there's a rat in the kitchen! I'll catch it. This hallowed home of ours... we hold sacred Here we dreamt our dreams Like a prayer in a temple Like a ray from the skies Here we find succor We sing to the glory of our Lord "Unto to Redeemer of His flock, we pray" You won't get this Lord, take care of Ma. Take care of Om and Jagadish too 9:30. Get to the factory. 10:30. Cassette distribution meeting 11 am meeting with Rehman. Agenda, piracy 2pm. Recording the new album 3:30pm. Shekhar Put my agenda on that list. Got to find a girl for you Ma, there's a time for everything. It'll happen in it's own time At times, one must take the initiative... and in yesterday's newspapers I have placed an advertisement... along with our phone numbers Looks like the calls are coming in. Not my call, Not yet Yes Saraswati Batra speaking. Three daughters? They have taken computer courses? Floral arrangements too? Wonderful! Fair Great! Tall Gulmohar Villa on Juhu beach? That huge old mansion? Grand! - I see. Let's talk later Why don't you use this car? I will, of course I will When? All in good time Namaste, sir. (Greeting) How are you Ramprasad? To that usual everyday question I usually lie everyday You lie? About being fine You aren't fine How could I? I want to become a singer I took up the liftman's job here in hope that you'd notice me someday I sing extremely well. Would you like to hear...? Not now. Only in-between floors That was folk, but I can change it to rap Let's talk later I told you. Try to understand. I'll try to put in a word Mr Om, why did you lodge a police complaint? He's a poor guy Because you are a traitor who pirates my music So what's wrong? It's only business. If I make a few cents pirating... I can spare a bit for you too. Fast-forward your life, Mr Om Don't you ever step into this office. Peace Mr Om, peace Let me know if you ever need me It's a treacherous world and I'm honest Like that, Shekhar? These KK-Mix guys are trying to pass off a re-mixed old number This song isn't working Shekhar, he says KK's mix won't work! Better give him on anotherjob What's wrong with my number? Not one, several The original is a classic. And you... Rape...? I have raped so many songs but all my rapes are super-duper hits My liftman can sing better Then call your liftman Yes sir? - Here's the moment... you've awaited all your life. If you can sing today... you'll be singing for the rest of your life This is an insult to KK-Mix! I have mixed a superhit Om, you have proved your marketing genius Ramprasad is transformed into the latest singing sensation RP All this my friend, by dint of money Not because of money. He's capable Oh yes, I know your philosophy. Love is mightier than money But love cannot beget you money; yet money can buy love That's why my family is with me and that's why you're a loner You are with me. Because of Love, Not for money How's Jai? I hope he gets his degree and settles down Come in with the chequebook We've been childhood friends. Don't hesitate about money... if it concerns Jai's education. He's my brother too Please sign there Here's a million. ForJai. Repayable when able You have taken God's place for me on earth How's Jagadish? - Jagadish? Oh, he's fine I'm sure he's going to make it bigger than Jai, despite his education here He's so fast! Not even I can catch up with him. He wants to outpace time You'll know more once the principal has noted your attendance record Do you know how many classes you attended this semester? What a brilliant record! You will see the principal at nine am tomorrow Stop going around with that bunch. - I'll try to, sir Jags! I'm dead! Dad will kill me! Why...? Only you can do something! We'll see tomorrow Where are you going? To class Latest printout of the class attendance Something's wrong with the computer! Who got the printout? You or I...? Jags! Guess what happened? - My attendance is 90 percent Never mind and pay up the internet cafe. 150 bucks You took pocket money five days ago. Pay your obeisances Hold on... here's a fifty Also keep this coin What do I do with this buck? Son, that coin... was the first token your father placed at our shrine You're always running out of money. Keep the coin. It augur well for you Good-luck coin...? Yes Hi Jai! How are you? How is Om? How is Ma? She must be standing right there to hear my letter Stop chattering. Read on America is a great country. People here are very hard-working This is a land full of opportunities if you want to make it in life All I miss are Ma's love and home-cooked food Tell Ma that my taste buds are always tingling to memories of her dishes Jags, take a look, is Ma in tears? Is she wiping her tears? If it's evening now, Om must've changed into casuals Yes Ma... Om... Jai sends you his regards. May he be happy Anyway Jags, I can't write anymore. Any more of this and I'll cry Take care of yourself. My regards to everyone Jagadish, tell him I'll mail him his money soon What else did Jai write? Ma, the letter is over Are you forgetting something...? Om... girl... wedding...? Come on Son, you won't refuse me, will you? Refuse what, Ma? I have chosen a girl for you. What...? No refusing She will see you tomorrow at the club You will see her, won't you? After my life Isn't he looking cute? Give me that hand What are you upto, Ma? Are you here to see Shanti? Yes Ma ends up choosing this one for me? I was shocked when I heard your name You too aren't what your name suggests (Shanti: Peace) What to do? God paired us off, did He? That's a colourful dress You look like a movie hero I wanted to wear a suit. But little brotherJagadish forced me into this We're three of us. Jai is the other brother. He's studying in America Om-Jai-Jagadish! It's like a prayer Our photo When we were kids Have you ever fallen in love at first sight? I have just chosen my mate for life! And his name is Om What are you doing, Shanti? He promotes new singers So I think I'll sing for him I tell you, I love you What have I landed myself in? So horribly out of tune Now I'd like to hear Om saying that to me in front of everyone If I must, I must How do you feel? I feel like a scapegoat I welcome students from all over the country... who are participating in this finale of... Best of Best Generation Next Two teams have made it to the finals The girls' team from Bangalore. And the boys from our college The theme is something your generation doesn't believe in Marriage I'll marry you I'll be yours forever Whatever you want... I'll always do, I swear Oh how I wish... "you'd make love to me all your life..." endless love I'll marry you I'll be yours forever Whatever you want... I'll always do, I swear Oh how I wish... "you'd make love to me all your life..." endless love "My first romance, my first love..." "without you, my love life's miserable" In the pursuit of desires... "I too have learnt how to wake sleepless nights" My love, my darling... I'll marry you I'll be yours forever Any girl will die for me Every girl pines for me "Day and night, I chant your name I pine..." I'm dying to take you in my arms Then tell me, why this distance? I'll marry you I'll be yours forever Oh how I wish... "you'd make love to me all your life..." endless love Puja from Bangalore... where is she? In the other bus, maybe Sorry, I missed my bus You're going to be on that bus before it reaches Bangalore Somehow I don't know what held me back You've taken a liking to me I know, from that line in your song Any girl will die for me At least 15 romances spring up at every college fest Yes, and by the end of every fest, every romance has dried up Not necessarily What wish did you make? - Can't tell you that Okay... I just wished some love stories wouldn't end with these fests Hey stop Didn't I tell you? You'd get the bus before it gets to Bangalore Goodness! The prayers Lovely place Just imagine... right here... a skyscraper with a flat on every floor Sea-facing balconies on every storey... making every passer-by wish he was here But would you take away someone else's dream... to make your dream come true? Whose dream am I taking away? - My late father's Ms Tanya, in 20 years since my father died... not for 20 seconds have we felt his absence Our home is our temple. No one in this family ever forgets that So no one gave you a chance to forget? How about me giving you one chance? I've only written in the figure "1". Fill in as many zeros as you fancy Then you'll see how easy forgetting is Are you joking? Or are you illiterate? I'm lettered, but not for sale Is it the wrong time on a wrong day? No, you're welcome anytime. My decision won't change Nice knowing a man who can't be bought whatever the price But if you want to sell... Are you responding to our ad? Not quite what you assume I'll see her out Om, how did you find her? Forget it, Ma Your exams are around the corner and you're keeping up at nights What are you upto? Studies? Or are you at the computer? I make my grade, don't I? In studies, in sports, entertainment You ask my principal what I mean to the college I need a loan to buy a software. Loan...? Yes. Loan. I'll pay it back You will...? First, prove something to me Prove...? What did Jai prove to you? You're spending millions on him. - Cunning! He's using Jai Jai knows where he's headed. He's focussed, he's ambitious What do you want to do with your life? What I want to do? I want to beat you For me, that will be a happy day. - Don't get sentimental Who can beat you? My loan, please. Get lost You won't marry me without a dowry? Goodness! Help me... someone help What's going on? - Let's take a look She's the one who fooled Om Watch, I'll give her a taste of fun! Right at the wedding altar! How dare you ask for dowry? What happened, lady? I had To run away from my wedding My fiance's father is greedy! At the eleventh hour, he demanded a million from my father! No, only 800,000 800,000...? - Okay, 400,000 will do And the sad part is, he kept mum Don't cry, come with me. Oh no... no... Come with me. - Let go of my wife's arm! Let go of her. This is a shoot. Let her sit on the pillion I'll miss out on my tv programme. Don't you watch Mtv? Drop me, please Where have you brought me? Why here... in a haunted house? Haunted house! Come in I told you, it's a tv programme. It's all a sham! I'm faking I'm for real, my mother's for real and my brother is for real Om went and got married? Wrong I warned Cyrus... Who Cyrus... what Cyrus? What happened, Ma...? He knows me! My brother's bride. Bride...? Do you like her? - Bride! But why have you eloped? Did your parents object? Only Om objected Who are these guys? - You're watching MTV Scapegoat You are the scapegoat I want you to meet Agesha my sister-in-law to-be Scapegoat Scapegoat Om! My sister-in-law is here Whose sister-in-law? Agesha, your bride Be seated Your only daughter? Yes Lovely... What...? Tree That tree is about a hundred years old And this is a lovely house And this house is also about a hundred years old Even my brother is hundred years old Can I ask you something? Straight from the heart... Love's no tv show for fun Love is life. Love is an emotion... that touches hearts, enthralls for a lifetime, forever Sorry, did I say something wrong? How do you manage that candour? I remember the sincerity with which you showed me your childhood photo That sincerity I liked. I see that candour in you again Can I ask you one more thing? What will it be for you? An arranged marriage or love marriage? Love marriage One day, I met her... and she enthralled me When she held my gaze... I was spellbound... but she said it all... I even tried to get away... "but when I looked back, there she was, right in front of me" "Then I smiled and she smiled back; when I took a step, she came along" "Then we became breathless, and a moment stood stilled" And then, we were in love That's our love-story That's our life-story 3 months, 28 days and 8 hours ago we fell in love You're crazy Why do you drag him everywhere? He won't leave us alone What does that mean? - You're bananas I'll be home by eight. Yes, I'm with Jai. Brian is also with us Why talk to your mother like that? Like how? So irritably...? Because she irritates me At times, I hate her. Maybe Because of the familiarity? When you're far from home, you realise... what mother means, what a family means This monkey is hovering around all the time... particularly when I'm with you Yes, because of you You're seeing my parents today After we drop Brian. Won't take long Now smile and give an okay Watch! The poor thing will fall off Just flatter Mummy... it'll do just fine Go on, I'll be right back. Come soon Giri should be here soon. Let me show you around We built this house a decade ago, outside the city We're just 20 minutes away from town And Giri loves the hustle-bustle Say, what's your favourite dish? Indian You turn out to be exactly like Giri Who's Giri? Giri Saxena. Nitu's Papa. Jai Batra That's your Mummy? I took her for your sister You know Giri hasn't changed in these 25 years In my stupidity, I took your simplicity for sex appeal Wonderful names. Om, Jai and Jagadish Why Om-Jai-Jagadish? Daddy wanted names that... could be said all in one breath. Therefore... Om, Jai and Jagadish Jai wants to build the fastest car in the world And where would you drive your fastest car? On Indian roads? Let's think about that once the car has been designed Is this flat of yours on Juhu sea-facing? Not flat. Villa. Yes, it's sea-facing How big is it? Nothing too large. Some are hard put to make out what's larger...? Our home, or our hearts? One day, I found her "She looked at me and she blossomed like a flower" "In my wondrous seasons, it was an exotic thing to happen..." "a mild drizzle under a mellow sun" "Then I hid under a church awning and she stood under a tree..." when lightning struck... "she ran to me, in fear of thunder" And then, we were in love That's our love-story That's our life-story Landed the job! My project is through I'm elated You'll see Jai here. Look into the camera when you speak Hi Om Jai... how are you? I'm fine, how are you? - Okay, I'm okay What about your results? - They're out Hi sister-in-law How have you been? Fine. Tell us About your results Results? As expected I topped the college Is this how you deliver great news? Yes! Why are you underplaying? I'm so happy, I could hug you! Get back to India right away One more good news. Tell me An automobile giant has offered me a job. It's about my project I don't want to lose out on this opportunity So returning home will be a bit difficult You have bagged such a good offer and that's just as well People with education go out to serve that country I'd rather that you returned to serve your country Daddy used to say, lose your land, and you have lost everything We ought to be together, Jai. Right now, I need you, Jai E-mail from Jai? Jai has topped his college. Congratulations, son. Bless you Enough of it, now come home. For five years... I have only seen you growing up in pictures. Now I want to see you Om, why did it black out? Broken connection, happens sometimes Ma told me, at the end of the story... everything works out fine If not, the story isn't over yet I'm home, Ma Bless you, son Mummy, why is everybody screaming? "Through the coming and going of times, of seasons..." "may love never fade from hearts" "Unto each other yive strength..." "if need be die for each other" "In joy and sorrow let us come together..." may we never part "Unto each other grant succour" This hallowed home of ours... we hold sacred Here we dreamt our dreams 3 large white rums. With Pepsi With Om...? Shut up. I got To talk To him... about Nitu. Besides, we brothers are meeting up after years It's a new drink. I ordered it. Yes, give it a try But I don't take cold drinks. Yive it a try, for our sakes Cheering a cold drink? What drink is this? This drink will become popular Isn't she beautiful? Very beautiful Jagadish, just look. She's exquisite What are you staring at, Jags? So beautiful She and Agesha would yo along well. I'll talk to Ma To Nitu I would like to introduce you to my little brothers This is Jai That's Jagadish I tried to evade them, but they forced me to drink some rum Friends, in our times... where will you find brothers who love so dearly? My brothers are like my limbs Get out Time to buy a bigger car. This is the one that stays Jagadish... - Take care of that kid. He's high Playing big brother. Jagadish, you knock What's up? Tonight, we're happy! Reason being... Jai has found a daughter-in-law for you I even okayed her But who is she? She's a foreigner. But she's Indian Say yes, Ma. - Ma's over there Say yes, Ma Say yes Say yes, Ma... one minute! Happy days! Here again Ornate bangles on her arms Wedding music on the shehnai Ornate bangles... and the wedding shehnai... and henna-dyed feet... it'll be a happy wedding Happy days are here again "Somewhere between refusing and relenting..." I fell for this marriage "Sweetheart, she was yours until yesterday..." "now she's a sister-in-law to me" "There's someone, somewhere for you. Marriages are made in heaven" "Somewhere, sometime, loving hearts come close" "The goddess of fortunes has come to make a heaven out of my home" "To weave glittering, golden dreams of joys into my life" My mother is blessing you May we never part "God spare our home the evil eye" "May never God's face be turned away from us" I swear... by my mother's love for me... we'll love each other so much... "everyone in the world will be jealous of us" "Whatever anyone says, your writ runs in the family" "We'll stay together forever, you and I have promised each other" Happy days are here again Jai, say hi to the guests Excuse me Mrs Saxena, may I have a word with you? Ma was saying that you hired this huge Mercedes? We have some guests who have flown in from America, some from Delhi Nitu can't possibly take this car... it's going to be very embarrassing I would've conceded but... that car is part of many memories, of my Daddy, Ma And it's our lucky car. I took Agesha home in that car But this one little thing will break Nitu's heart Nitu is mature, she'll understand. Try and understand, Om Jagadish, tell Ma to go home and prepare for the reception Take Nitu home in our car. That car...? Brother! Your turn now Your brother-in-law-cum-chauffeur at your service, dear sister-in-law Drive carefully. - I'll try Move it! Batra family on the move Stalling... Let's take a look Jagadish, take a look Can't make out a thing Here's hoping it isn't clogged dirt. Come on... put to the real test your five years of American education. Get going Nitu, stay inside. It won't look too nice What about fixing a junk car on your wedding day? Does that look nice? My Ma had another car waiting didn't she? Oh come on, it's okay. - No it isn't okay Jai Sister-in-law, Jai is jacked Never expected you to be up so early But I am an early-riser Early to bed, then early to rise And the dark circles under his eyes tell us he hasn't slept all night Which firm have you decided to join? All three offers are equally good But I'm thinking in terms of... Choose the job that gives you... the best scope of advancement. - I'm waiting for the day... when you'll build the fastest car in the world Jai, just do it What's all this? Nothing much Just my stuff, my stock of mineral water, juices My exercise kit, etc. Mamma sent it Did you have to get it from your Mummy? We would've bought it for you I guess, that's a mother's love. Like when Jai was in America... his mother would send over... what do you call those... those sweet gramflour-balls and the mango pickle So my Ma sent me this stuff Careful. Juice cartons on the right Changing lifestyles Sorry, I had to change my dress Rice, please. Mummy sends you her regards The food also looks too spicy. It's no good for your health Sister-in-law... I hear your Dad runs a roadside Indian eatery in America Not roadside eatery, a restaurant. And it's his business You wouldn't know, because you've never stepped outside this town Isn't that so, Jagadish? Will you please pass the salad? Nitu, I made pasta for you Drink it up, nothing will go wrong. That's the water we drink I think she can't digest our waters, reminds her of American waters One gets accustomed to habits and habits can only be changed slowly Only bad habits Good habits need not be changed, Om What is habit? Habit has two meanings... one in India, one in America In America, when youngsters butt into discussions between elders... it's called freedom. Freedom is Nothing bad But freedom is different from decency What was that...? Not indecency Decency. Which means, manners. Manners...? I don't need to learn manners from you At least, not here in India No matter. Manners apart... there's much you may pick up. Just make a beginning Jagadish, enough! Can we eat now? Sure, when did I forbid you...? Come off it Jagadish Changing circumstances I can't take family politics. I speak my heart and you know it I can't pull off this typical Indian-bride-act But I'll still tell you like a typical Indian husband, I love you My family members love me dearly. But naturally, they love you too Let's all go for a Sunday picnic When does love happen? "Love happens, when it has to happen" What means love? Love is... God Just feel love "It's more exotic than the most exotic" "Like a fragrance, love suffuses your breath" "Love is what the restless heart needs" "Love's rhythm is mysterious; love-pangs are strange" Them what is love? Love is... God "On listless days, restless nights..." love's passion is intoxicating And it's the truth... "believe it or not, at least for once, it's everyone's folly" "The thirst for love, you will know..." when love is on your lips So what is love? Love is... God We are about to present our weekly programme, "Monkey Capers" You got to identify the one I'm mimicking. The right answer... gets a chance to dine with me at a world famous roadside inn First character... "Ma I told you not to ask for money when I'm going to work" Om Number Two: "What...? Over...? But I gave you pocket money yesterday" Number Three... "How old is this house? How old is that tree?" No... not like that! Agesha Number Four: "I want to make the world's fastest car" Jai "Don't even talk about the food here!" "The urchins are terrible! They stare" "The food is so oily, so spicy! Nothing like mineral water" in America" Personal conversations with my Mamma? Ridiculing me in public! How degrading Jagadish, that was in bad taste Shut up! That was bad He's walking out We sing to the glory of our Lord "Unto to Redeemer of His flock, we pray" Om, has Jai taken up a job? Not yet I'm asking because I lent you 12.5 million for his education Amounting now, to 17.5 million including interests And I'm charging you only bank rates I know Shekhar As soon as Jai takes up a job, I'll pay you back, first of all Relax, you're a friend, not a stranger. No tensions The chairman of Maruti and I are good friends. If you say so... I can talk to him about a job forJai Jai has several job offers All he has to do, is select. I'll talk to him right away You aren't doing this for yourself. You're brilliant. And we're duds You can use computers to dig out the exam papers for us As morals say, one ought to help pals All right. See me at home tonight Inside the university's mainframe! What frame...? We're inside the university bank. We just got to break into the papers Just got to figure out the password. Of course you will Let's concentrate Go on, smoke. It's okay Give me some passwords you know. I'll give it a try Shakespeare? Madhya Pradesh...? Have you met the managing director? Yes, but he wants me To sign up... on an 8-year bond. Then sign up You're staying here, aren't you? Why eight? Sign up for 10 years It'll be over in no time, just like your five years in college Thanks to your foolishness, we've lost two chances Last chance! Please give sensible suggestions Remember! I'm doing all this only for you. No one must know, okay? Shekhar needs cash. Immediately. - I'll sign up tomorrow What do you mean, you'll sign up? Aren't we going back? But Om borrowed the money for my education Out there you can earn lots more. Just mail the money home No American company will give me a loan. And Om wants cash, immediately This urgency was never the point. The decision to borrow was his own You knew nothing about it And you're forgetting something. Only a few weeks to go... before your work permit expires. And you got to return before that Is everything all right? What was that about the work permit? It's nothing, Ma. You haven't gone to bed yet? Go to sleep He must return to America before his work permit expires Jai, will you step outside for a minute? Whatever you got to say, say it in front of Nitu Have you informed Om about this? About what? About your returning to America. - I haven't told him You ought to. But he insists... on returning the money right away and that's impossible Then make it possible. To keep This family together... throw yourself into the fires. Om threw himself in the fires too But I never heard him complain. When did I talk About Om? Ma says, in this country those who put up with suffering are deified Not Gods, we want to live human lives At least, be a brother to him He gave you strength, made a man out of you. Do your duty as a brother I will do my duty, but I'll do it my way. Not the way Om wants I must go back to America One man. He bore everyone's burden, wouldn't let anyone bear the brunt Come the time when we ought to share his burdens, it's each to his own? No Ma! You don't understand! - True son When you were an infant, before you learnt how to speak... I knew your every need. Now you're grown up... now you can speak out for yourself; but I understand not a word you say The justification of your demand is not in question. Money, we haven't Just 200,000. Only to pay for my studies The buck stops just in time when it's my turn The money was there forJai before he could ask Jagadish, I never discriminated between you and Jai I still haven't been able to repay what I borrowed forJai's education Wouldn't make a difference to borrow another 200,000 for my education It will make a difference! But I'm not refusing you I'm only asking for time. In a day or two... once Jai has signed his service bond, all our problems are solved No I've worked out another way to solve all our problems Sell this house Sell the house and all our problems are automatically taken care of Yours, Om's and mine. - I didn't send you to America... to lose your values. Talk of selling the house? Ma has spent a lifetime here The souls of my father, my grandfather rest here I respect your feelings. But that's your way of thinking, not mine Why is America on the ascent? People over there don't think like you What's this America-America about? A short stay changes your attitude? With time, everything must change Dispositions, demeanours and dwellings What are you saying, Jai? Quiet! Why? Before This place was built... our ancestors must've lived elsewhere. Given our disposition... would our house ever been built? - Please, don't fight I don't want 200,000. I'll take the course later No Jagadish, the mistake was mine! For him, this is a house. Not home I sent him away to boarding school to give him a good education I sent him to America, to make a man out of him. He never stayed at home He can't comprehend what a home means You're being sentimental for no reason But maybe you are against progress. After you've given me an education... you want me to sign an 8-year bond! Aren't you impeding my growth? For 200,000 aren't you impeding Jagadish's career? How does it matter if we sell this? In your place, I would've sold it This house was Daddy's dream. Om has made sacrifices to preserve it Jagadish, am I impeding your progress? Am I against Jai making progress? This is the India, where son fulfills his father's dream! He forgets When he lights his father's pyre the son takes the vow of... fulfilling his father's obligations and that is what I'm trying to do I know, you do not concur with me. But can I tell you something? I do not concur with your philosophy I have great respect for you, my brother I hate carelessness. No, if you can't handle it... why didn't you tell me? No I can't discuss this now. I'll call later What would you like? Tea, coffee...? Ms Tanya, you wanted to buy my house. Of course, I remember I have still preserved this cheque How many more zeros will you add? Sorry I must sell my house, else my family will break up Are you still interested in buying my house? Had you not sold it already I'd love to buy it out Had I not sold it...? I don't understand Mr Batra, your house is no longer your property You've sold it already To whom...? To my fiance If you're interested, you can see the papers Take a look... your signatures, aren't they? Yes... these are receipts I wrote out when I borrowed money from Shekhar Yes. But you mortgaged your house when you took the loan, didn't you? How did these papers reach you? Shekhar is my fiance. And your house is my wedding gift Don't tell me you want to make a singer out of Tanya She can't sing. All she knows is how to make money Shekhar, you deceived me...? What deception...? I never imagined! For the money you were grabbing my house As long as I was giving, I was a god? And now I'm a cheating scoundrel? As long as you're a do-yooder, everything's hunky dory... as long as I deny myself, as long as I give away millions... without a word! Am I to apologise because I'm rich, moneyed? Mr Om is saying nothing of the sort. Why are you getting upset? I'm upset because I considered him my friend He's more than a brother to me And he says I have deceived him? Well all right, I have deceived you Why don't you return my money? Why not prove that love is stronger than money? The three of you, Om, Jai and Jagadish Come on, get together! Pay me back Else, vacate your house in 48 hours. I'm going to get a court order And don't come to work from tomorrow onwards They will vacate the house. You told me, they're men of word Papa, Uncle Jai is leaving Brother... Yes Jai...? I want to talk to you. You are returning? Yes, I'm leaving If I don't leave, there will be a big problem Do you have your green card? I have it But I might lose my job. You got my go-ahead Besides, what can you achieve living in this country? Go away At every step lies deceit, friends will stab you in the back Oh, my room is downstairs Leave, as soon as you can. You have my consent I'll send money. - That won't be needed No, I will send money Anil Khanna. I'm the principal in the college Jagadish goes to I know. We would like To see his room The principal. He wants to see Jagadish What is the matter...? - I don't know Sir... you...? We must check your computer What is your password? Why sir...? He wants to know your password Saraswati. What...? Saraswati. Our mother's name Our suspicion is true. The papers were stolen by Jagadish's computer Atul... Did Jagadish use this computer to give you the question papers? Why did you have to do this? Someone tell me what he has done. - I'll tell you Mrs Batra Jagadish used his computer... just like a burglar who enters homes and steals But this is thievery of the educated, done for easy money Mrs Batra, I might report him to the police. But I haven't the heart But he will never gain admission into any university. That's his punishment He will never find employment in any computer company His future... I'm very sorry. But Why did he steal? Whatever the reason might've been only Jagadish can tell You have betrayed my faith in you! Not you, all of us bear the punishment How much money did you make out of selling papers? Even you think I'd do such a thing? I was just helping a friend At least you'd understand that, I learnt it only from you Learnt from me? What? Thieving? What am I? A thief? Helping friends! Is this how you help friends? By robbing? You haven't a degree, you have no future. You're ruined You are a thief! I am a thief's brother. And that's the truth You will achieve nothing in life Jai was my weakness, you were my strength But today, you make me weak. You have left me crippled Jagadish, my son... Mamma, where have Uncle Jai and Uncle Jagadish gone away? They have gone out for a while, they're going to be back Don't lie to the child Om... my son, this house is rooted on rock-solid foundation Jai and Jagadish will be back. Surely Only if we have this house. What does that mean? As of now, this house belongs to Shekhar Malhotra What...? - I borrowed forJai's education Then I couldn't repay. Now he has claimed this house Joys you have always shared Will you keep your sorrows to yourself? Why...? Because he is Om and he wishes to become a god among men High time that you thought about yourself, my son When must we leave this house? Tomorrow morning Rita, they're married. Let them take their decisions in life Like her decision about getting married Mamma, I'm happy I married Jai. - Great! I'm elated Your mother will never change Work with their research teams? Give up my claim to my design? Then don't. But what will you do? Think it over once again Jai Are you making a mistake? Grave mistake Will you go back to India and prove that Om was right and we were wrong? I'm not going back to India I came to this city because this is a midway place. Not fast like Mumbai Nor slow, like our Satna. As of now, I'm working in Pizza Hut But someday, I'll build myself a fast food chain So I got to find myself a job soon. Yes, I talked up a computer firm They order pizzas from us. When Can I meet up? Tonight. Actually, they start working from 10 in the night G Four Heard lots about you Hacking papers from Mumbai University is no mean task We're entering a bank account. The one who pulls off the heist... is entitled to 50 percent of the loot The rest is ours. G Four's So... you are professional hackers? What are you? Baby hacker? One thing for Sure If we're thieves, you're a thief too Grandma, why have we left our home? Why have we come here? It was too large a house for so few of us Grandma, I don't like it here If you and Arnav would like to live with your Daddy for a while... now that he has school holidays...? Are you trying to send me away? Like you sent Jai and Jagadish away? I've no qualms about living with you. I value your sense of integrity Om, I can put up with everything but I can't bear to see you sad Papa, I'm ready Papa, where are we going? To see Uncle Ramprasad Uncle Ramprasad... - Ramprasad, it's me Stay back. - Why don't you understand? He knows me The Minister for Culture has invited me to sing at his son's wedding Well, what brings you here? You know Shekhar and I... Have split. What next? - I'm producing an album And I want you to sing. Who me...? How Can I sing? You know, I'm on a 5-year contract with Shekhar. I can't break that But I gave you your break. - I got a recording. Can't talk much Nitu, it's only a matter of a while Are you bonkers? Something like this? Or, am I just love-crazed about you No one's crazy. Not you. Not I. You are my strength, my family Else, how long does it take for a man to break under these circumstances? You have reposed trust in me, I'm grateful. Thank you I'll deliver that order I'll deliver this one Pizza delivery. Over there Sir, please give me one chance. I came to Bangalore... hoping I'd work for this company. Given a job, I'll prove... how profitable I can be for this company Perseverance and perspective leads to success... not impetuousness and impatience I've read much about you in the papers. I know your story I'm a fan of yours. For me, you are an ideal I only ask for 100 seconds to prove my capabilities. Please... I know I can develop a software which can be bigger than windows I want to write a software that prevents hacking Stop Father and son, together on the street? Son, have you quit school? Holidays Papa is on holiday too? Om, we might not be working together Doesn't mean our friendship is over? From the new house, I can't watch the sea. I haven't friends anymore You never scolded me before. Without me... you got no standing on the market. Everywhere, you will get a no And what's this? Do I see anger? Are you taking it out on the baby? Change of philosophy? Love isn't more powerful than money. Brothers... one left for America, one for Bangalore You called me a loner, didn't you? And how long have I been telling you that brothers never stick together Brothers together. Just verbiage, not in real life Yes honey, coming Tanya and I are going to see the architect We're building a five star hotel in place of your house Day after day, trying to piece my life together... resolving to start life anew... but what can I do? It all lies in ruins With my five-year old son, I wander the streets. Aimlessly I told you! KK-Mix is dead! Now get out Have you come to pay me tributes? Where are the garlands, the bouquets? We'd like to know why you haven't scored an album in four years? Four years ago... I was a star. I was a thief, I stole songs At least I have the satisfaction of not being a thief anymore That was KK-Mix superhit singer and music director No, you haven't come congratulating me... you've come to rub salt into my wounds You want to make me realise that my success was my illusion. Right...? I've been sitting at home and rotting these four years. Only because of you Sitting at home doesn't kill art. - I'm finished! I can't sing Go away You're superstitious, KK I never under-rated your voice, I still don't You can sing a great song again. And you'll outdo yourself... scoring your own music, instead of stealing. I'm sure How...? How can a mind bent on thieving score original music? Two lines for you to remember, KK. Spring follows autumn And what use living if you have accepted defeat? Hey, you said what...? What's life lived in defeat? "Lived to the last breath, Life lives not in Death's fear" The Earth... the skies... "my heart... all resonate with the resolve..." "to sing the song of love even when I'm heartbroken..." the song of love... for what is life lived in defeat? Dense black nights... will be bathed in moonlight "Somewhere in the dark, you will find a ray" "Your life is no journey through misery..." "pick from the thorns on your path the path leading to your goal" For what is life lived in defeat? Mr Om, you've started a music company? Yes, I'm offering you distribution Forgive me, I don't stock new labels or small labels KK-Mix burnt out four years ago. And what an album, "What's Life?" These songs don't sell. And I won't annoy Mr Shekhar Mr Om! You...? Hello... You don't recognise me? I remember you very well Can I ever forget a pirate? - That's just as well Market news is, no one's willing to distribute your label with KK-Mix But I can sell Until now, you only trusted gentlemen For once, try out a scoundrel I will, if you stop pirating music Stipulating terms? Even in distress? That makes me feel like agreeing Okay, God be my witness. No more piracy How are you Papa? Fine Shopping? Not really Where's Jai? At work In the junkyard? Are you cooking? Just trying Just look at the way she looks. Can you see beyond looks? I see a bad future for my daughter. How are you returning? Jai's picking her up in a helicopter. - We'll drop you I'm ashamed! He claims he's building the fastest car in the world! Here? What's lacking here? - We needn't suffer like this Problem is, you've lived comfortably. You got no idea how difficult life is Why should I care? My parents can give us a life of comfort For your comforts, not mine. - You don't care for me If my determination is selfishness do whatever you wish Are you giving me an ultimatum? - I'm trying to make you see reason I don't want to see reason I'm not living in this junkyard This is home! Not junkyard! - Even that line is your brother's Hello Shekhar I'm Jai. From America Yes Jai, yo on. Is Om in? Not right now I'll pay you back whatever Om borrowed for my studies For you, free. I Take Nothing for free Not even from me? I have disgraced my brother. I'll try my best... to make him proud of me. And only then will I go home I'm sure you will succeed in your endeavours I know it sounds dramatic, but I'm with you No use. Only a professional hacker or some computer genius can solve this I'd like to see Mr Pillai. He is in an important meeting This is regarding that meeting. - No sir, you can't see him Tell him I'll take no more than a hundred seconds Call him, he knows me. Okay... The best of our engineers couldn't protect our site from hackers. Why? So how can you help me all in a hundred seconds? If I may use your computer...? He takes this for a pizza shop, not a software company My job's over too All in a hundred seconds, this system can track hackers and stop them Puja, I am certain I will succeed in whatever I'm attempting One minute... it's a wish Jagadish, today's a lucky day. Whatever you wish will come true What wish did you make? May Om and Jai be given every wish they make today What about yourself? I've been given my wish This is the rose you gave me Secretly, I stole one look at you Secretly, I have loved you Secretly, I have prayed for you Secretly, I have worshipped you But you wouldn't know... how dearly I have loved you Oh how do I tell you... "how, when and where I gave you my heart" You wouldn't know... how dearly I have loved you Oh how do I tell you... "how, when and where I gave you my heart" Did you hear what I said? My love... "it's you I've chosen. - I love those words" "My dream seems to be coming true" Oh how do I tell you how I feel? "You've taken the peace out of my life" Secretly... "do not steal glances at me from afar..." make me yours In my obsession, I know... "now we will be together, forever" "Darling, how can I keep this a secret from you?" You are my lover But you wouldn't know... how dearly I have loved you Many thanks, many many thanks Congratulations Mr KK. Congratulations Mr Om Asha Bhosle has agreed to sing for our company Nearly every artiste is with us What worse a blow for Shekhar? In one fell sweep... This is fun! Rehman... enjoy your victories. Don't compare your successes with others' failures But the man took your house... - I've stopped turning to look back Inform all the singers. They'll get a share of 25 percent of our profits I'm here to congratulate you on your success But I won't lie. It hurt. After all, I'm human Kavita wants to talk. Kavita Krishnamurthy I'll call her back. - He'll call her back The man who worked for me, the man who was my friend... the man whom I financed... is the man who invades my business and makes me lose money, betrays me But he will always talk of being cultured! Outrageous And what has he got to show for valuing love more than money? Slap-on-the-face from his brothers And what do the brothers come out to be? Self-seeking scoundrels I'm right, am I not Om? Tell me, isn't that true? There are two parties to the truth One, who can speak the truth and one, who can hear the truth The truth is, love and friendship are words that mean nothing to you All you know is money's might because... you are devoid of humane feelings. The truth is... men like us can pick up their lives from anywhere Because we're unafraid of ourselves for we do not lie to ourselves But men like you live only in the realm of lies You are afraid of yourself, afraid of your failures The truth is also, that my brothers still live in my heart What we share isn't only blood ties. What binds us together is emotion Of love, of togetherness, and our upbringing I will destroy your dreams of magnanimity. I'll show you... what money's might means. You slapped Shekhar Malhotra's ego I will put to auction in the marketplace your temple Advertise the auction I will destroy Saraswati Audio. I'll make a pauper out of Om Batra Slash prices. I don't care. We have money, he has nothing I've done it, Om This is Jai Batra. He has designed the fastest car Sure, I'm ready for the engine tests Shekhar, Jai here. I'm returning to India To pay back what Om owes you. Sure Jai. Welcome back To India But don't come to return my money, come and save your house I'm auctioning your house He was hiding this all along He thinks his brother is worthless? He wants to fight it himself? Why were you hiding this from me? Om! You were a father to me! You were my father Why did you tear yourself from me? I'm yourJagadish I'm yours! Jagadish I got something to tell you I have sold my engine design for 2 million dollars Don't you want to know why I sold it? For my sake? I mean... for our sake for the sake of our future Yes Nitu. But the future for us lies in India In India...? Our house is being auctioned I'm going back to India Will you come with me? Jai, take care of yourself Nitu, you never wanted to marry... someone who was weak, a man without a backbone All along I knew, you were hinting at me But what are you doing now? Jai is a man of substance You'd like him to become like me? Feeble, spineless...? Look, someone who doesn't value relationships remains a loner You want to be lonely all your life? - Lonely...? Our next big act is Marcus Brewer singing Roberta Flack's beloved Killing Me Softly. He'll be accompanied by Simon Cosgrove on the recorder. Marcus, I can't do this. - That lot's going to shit all over us. - But you said... I'm sorry. Here's your £5 back. Any moment now. Come on, Marcus, you wally! Wait! Wait! Excuse me. What is going on here? Nothing. Everything's under control. I'm just his voice coach. What are you doing here? I heard you were about to commit social suicide, so I dropped by. - My accompanist left! - Brilliant. - You don't have to do it. - I can't do that. Yeah, you can. Just tell them: Artistic differences. You can't work without him. He had a drug problem. My mum wants me to sing it. It'll make her happy. Look, mate, nothing you do can make your mum happy, all right? Not in the long term. She has to do that for herself. - Get over here right now! - Just bugger off, will you! What I'm saying is, the important thing is to make yourself feel happy. I've tried just making myself happy. She's tried making herself happy. It doesn't work. You need other people to make you happy. But that's just it. If other people can make you happy then they can also make you unhappy. What, you think those people out there are going to make you happy? Hang on. Wait. Marcus, don't. Marcus! Bollocks. Come on, Britney! Yeah, give us a song, then. This is for my mum. ## I heard he sang a good song # # I heard he had a style # # And so I came to see him # # to listen for a while # # And there he was this young boy # # a stranger to my eyes # You're rubbish, mate! # Strumming my pain with his fingers # # Singing my life with his words # # Killing me softly with his song # # Killing me softly # Who the hell is that? # Telling my whole life with his words # # Killing me softly with his song # # I felt all flushed with fever # # embarrassed by the crowd # # I felt he found my letters # # and read each one out loud # # I prayed that he would finish # # but he just kept right on # # Strumming my pain with his fingers # # Singing my life with his words # # Killing me softly # Give it a rest. # Killing me softly with his song # # Telling my whole life with his words # # Killing me softly # # With his song # # He sang as if he knew me # Will. # In all my dark despair # We're finished. # And then he looked right through me # # as if I wasn't there # Will, come on. Will, we're finished. So there I was, killing them softly with my song. Or rather, being killed. And not that softly, either. I was singing with my eyes closed. Was I frightened? I was petrified. This was definitely not island living. # Killing me softly # # With his song ## Thank you, Finsbury. I'd like to introduce one or two members of the band. Marcus Brewer on vocals and tambourine. And that's about it. Let's get off quick. Get off. Marcus, thank you. For the song. You were terrific. - You think so? - Yeah. As a matter of fact, I think we should celebrate. Okay. How about McDonald's? - McDonald's? - Yeah. Thanks, Mum, but it's okay. No, really. I want to go to McDonald's. You know, I'm not really hungry. Come on. Are you telling me you couldn't murder a Big Mac? Mum! Okay, another time. Any time. I'll be around a while, you know. By the following Christmas things were back to normal. Before you came... Every man is an island. And I stand by that. But clearly, some men are part of island chains. Below the surface of the ocean they're actually connected. So you're going to marry my mum, then? Don't know. Why? You think she's up for it? - I used to want him to marry my mum. - You serious? Yeah. But that was when she was depressed and I was desperate. Thanks, mate. Cheers. How do you use this blender-thing? You don't. I used to think two wasn't enough. Christ. Now there were loads of people. And that was great. Mostly. Are you two lazy bastards gonna get up and help, or what? So how do you know Will? We volunteered together at Amnesty International a couple years ago. Yeah, that's right. How is the Burmese situation, Tom? Better? I mean good? Yeah, and he called me up out of the blue for Christmas lunch. So, here I am. Really? So, listen, what's the deal with you and Ellie now? Is she your girlfriend? Are you insane? Where did you get those trainers? - Why? What's wrong with them? - Nothing. What? By the way, I do think you and Rachel have a shot. - I mean, if you don't screw it up. - Thank you. I'd created a monster. Or maybe he created me. I don't know what Will was so upset about. All I meant was I don't think couples are the future. You need more than that. You need backup. The way I saw it, Will and I both had backup now. It's like that thing he told me Jon Bon Jovi said: "No man is an island." Subtitles by SOFTITLER Of course not. You're being funny, aren't you? Mum and Roger had a big row then had gone off to the kitchen to talk quietly. Then Roger came out. Then why did you split up with Roger? Did he have another girlfriend? I don't think so. Do you have another boyfriend? Don't you think you would know? Who would I be seeing, the milkman? No. He's too young. No, Marcus. I haven't got another boyfriend. That's not how it works. Not when you're a 34-year-old working mother in a youth-obsessed, anorexic, soulless culture. Don't worry, Mum. I won't go to McDonald's. I hope she makes you itch. You know, really itch. - I just can't believe how you could do that. - You bloody pig! What were you thinking? Do you have shit for brains? Let it out. Let it out. You're a bastard! I hate you for what you've done. That's good. I wouldn't mind if you did it once, but you wanted to do it twice. - I wanna put my hands around your throat... - You don't have to do that. ...and squeeze the life out of you for what you've done because you're a scumbag and I hate you. And you're out of order! Don't ever think you can come back into my life and do it again! All right? Hi, there. I'm looking for a car seat. What type are you looking for? It's a silver Audi with a black leather interior and a metallic trim. I don't know. Cheapest. What do most people get? Not necessarily the cheapest. Parents are usually worried about safety. Oh, yeah. There's not much point in saving a few quid if they end up through the windscreen, is there? - Yeah. - Yeah. That's a cool one. Even if you get a cool one the kids will mess them all up, anyway. What with their sweets and all that. Right. Yeah. So, what's this song then? If you live off of it, we must've heard of it. It's "Santa's Super Sleigh". ## Look who's coming round the bend # # It's Santa and his reindeer friends # # With a ho, ho, ho and a hey, hey, hey # # It's Santa's super sleigh ## I expect people do that all the time. No, I think you two are the first. Sorry. I don't understand. How does that make you money? Do carol singers have to pay you 10 percent? They should, but you can't always catch the little bastards. It's on every Christmas album ever made. Elvis did it. The Muppets. An American punk band called... Remember where we live? Flat 2, 31 Craysfield Road, Islington, London, N12SF. England, the world, the universe. Yeah. We'd like to go to Planet Hollywood. Jesus. Really? Yeah. It's supposed to be brilliant. Planet Hollywood is horrible. Marcus? This is hopeless. Look at the length of the queue. It's probably because Bruce Willis is inside, or Sylvester Stallone. They won't be in there. Yes, they will. They're here all the time. Unless they're working. Even then, they try to make films in London so they can come here for lunch. I'm really hungry. Does this place you're talking about have good fries? Fantastic fries. Come on. Let's go. - Hi. - Thank you. You'll like it. It's nice. Good fries. - How are you? - Fine, thanks. What? This place all right? So, Fiona, how are you? - I mean, how are you feeling? - My stomach's fine. Great. I must still be a bit barmy, though. This kind of thing doesn't go away overnight, does it? No. If Mum was going to get Will to marry her, she'd have to quit making jokes like that. At least she looked good. I had her put on that nice hairy jumper and the earrings she got from her friend that went to Zimbabwe. The kid seemed to think this was some kind of date. As for his mum, she was clearly insane and appeared to be wearing some kind of Yeti costume. This had better be quick. We were definitely not ordering starters. I'll start with the artichoke, please. Then I'll have a mushroom omelet with fries and a Coke. - I'll have the vegetable platter. - We're vegetarians. I'd never have guessed. Steak sandwich, please, mate. Thanks. Don't just sit there. Talk to each other. I'm not sure that is how conversation happens, Marcus. No, I think that is how conversation happens. That's right. My God, we've got 60 years of conversational experience between us I'm sure we can come up with something. Okay, then. - So, Fiona. - You first. Will, why did your wife chuck you? Marcus! No, it's okay. It's fine. Good question. I'm quite comfortable talking about it, actually. She chucked me because she was basically going through this whole: "I want to find out who I am", malarkey and thing. Which is selfish, considering she had a kid and all that. And did she find out who she was? She was a figment of my twisted imagination. That's who she was. Not really, no. I'm not sure anyone really does, do they? We know who we are, don't we? That's right. You're a depressive hippie and her weirdo son. - What are we? - We're us. - And what are we not? - Sheep! And what does a sheep go? This was going really well. I wondered if we'd move into Will's place or someplace new. What type of car is yours? It's an Audi. Give me that. How fast does it go? I don't know. 140, I think. What fish are they? They're meant to be sharks. But I think they're sort of catfish. Do they cost a lot? Yeah, they cost $100 billion. "Smoking kills." Thank you for that, cheers. I'd forgotten. You know, Will, you've got a nice flat. Thank you. Only one bedroom, though. Largely because I find I can only sleep in one bed at a time. You could get a bigger place. I mean, if you needed to. Would you like anything to drink, Marcus? Thanks, just got a Pepsi. Who are these people with the saxophones and trumpets? Saxophonists and trumpeters. Why have you got pictures of them? 'Cause they're cool. What's cool about them? I don't know. They took drugs and died. A vowel. "A." - And a final consonant. - And a consonant. Thank you. I should go. Hang on. You might as well stay for the beginning of "Saved by the Bell", if you want. Okay, how do I look? Good. How do I look? - Just be as normal as you can, okay? - Wait, how much did I weigh at birth? I don't know. It was your birth. But you should know, shouldn't you? I mean, if you're my dad. Listen, she doesn't suspect that we're not father and son. She's not going to be trying to catch us out. When's your birthday? Quick. - August 19. - Okay. Who's my mum? Your mum's your mum. So you were married to my mum, but now you've split up? Yeah. Whatever. Does it bother you or me? No, I'm comfortable with it. But I think you still have a few issues. It's not funny, okay. - Only cause you're a... - You love her still, don't you? - Christ's sake. - I know you do. - You love Mummy. - Shut up! Be normal! Hi, Will and Mark. - Marcus. - Right, Marcus. Come on in. ## I felt all flushed with fever # # embarrassed by the crowd # # I felt she found my letters # # and read each one out loud ## - What you singin', fuzzy? Mind if I borrow this? Yes. Jesus! This is crap. Can I have that back, please? It was a Christmas present and... You pathetic shitface. Give him that back or you're gonna get a slap. Tricked ya. Now... off before I get really cross. Slag! Slag! Why does me hitting someone make me a slag, I wonder? Boys are peculiar creatures. Not you though, Marcus. Well, you are peculiar but in a different kind of way. Are you a little slow in the head, Marcus? No. I'm just funny. - That's what everyone tells me. - You are a funny one though, ain't ya? Is it because your mum tried to top herself? - How do you know? - My mum. She can't keep a single secret, the pissed, old cow. She's in SPAT with Suzie and all. To begin with, I feel terrible about it now, but I was like: "Why shouldn't she kill herself if she wants to?" - She's got me. - But I didn't know that then, did I? - I know. I made a complete ass of myself. - Yes, you did. I enjoyed it. You know, I sort of tried to draw fire. Obviously, I thought the worse I looked, the better Marcus would look. In that case, Marcus looked fantastic. Okay. Can I come in? Maybe. - I'm a bit busy. - Oh, yeah? Doing what? Watching "Countdown". Let me ask you something. What would you rather do? Watch "Countdown" or have sex with me? Stuart's track record here. Very good performance last week. He came in with a 44 and came out on Friday with a 72, which is the second... Every man is an island. I stand by that. I deliver perfection... and don't brag about it! : D It's called "About a Boy", but I suppose there are probably two boys, really. The original idea was I thought of this guy who invents a child so that he can meet single mothers. He invents a child, and goes to a single-parent group. That was the initial germ of the idea. I have a 2-year-old. Ned. He's a very good little boy. Very brave. They've got amazing resources, don't they? Just the other day I was thinking about my ex. He came crawling up, put his little pudgy arms around my neck, and he said: "You hang in there, Dad." The source of the film is a book called About a Boy by Nick Hornby, which came out in England about seven years ago. It was a huge hit there, and did very well here. Nick Hornby also wrote "High Fidelity" and, most recently, "How to be Good". He kind of addresses man's fate especially a 30-something man's fate, in the modern world. I've always loved Nick Hornby. He gets London life so right and is so funny about it, particularly male, bachelor, single London life which I know extremely well. So, I thought, "This is right up my alley." On top of that it's actually quite moving, and I've never done moving before. Alone, bad. Friend, good. I suppose the kind of comedy that I'm drawn to I don't want it to be purely farcical. I want it rooted in something, and I think after "High Fidelity" I wanted to try and push that a little bit harder. The idea that you could write a comedy about or which includes people who are having a hard time. When we first read the book, a lot of the themes felt like they were from a classic comedy. A lot of stuff we kept in. The last third of the movie is an invention of ours that we worked out, and then worked on with Hugh Grant our real partner in terms of someone to bounce our writing off and to get ideas for writing from. We knew when we started shooting we were on the same page, basically. Yeah, he's very special. Very, very special. Sometimes I think he's the one taking care of me. Teaching me the ways of the world. We had wanted to make something more in the vein of older filmmakers that we like, like Billy Wilder, for instance who was a tremendous influence on our doing this movie because of the mixture of cynicism and hope at the same time. We essentially harassed the producers Jane Rosenthal and Robert De Niro endlessly. I think at first, Jane didn't get why the hell the guys who directed "American Pie" should direct this movie. It's a comedy, but on the surface it appears like a different kind of comedy. Hugh was equally horrified, as was Nick Hornby. I think, probably like a lot of people of my generation I thought, "Oh, my God", partly because I'd never seen "American Pie". I adored "American Pie", I really did, but I thought that's completely wrong. Our film's funny, but it's not quite as determinedly lowbrow funny as "American Pie". But then you meet them, and of course, they're these incredibly learned scholarly, intelligent guys. One of them thinks of an idea, and the other one says, "Let's try that." They get double the ideas. It helps, because if they think something's a bit not good, they'll say, and the other one will say, "We can try it." They don't seem to really shout at each other at all and argue. If they did, no one ever sees them. I think, of all the American filmmakers I've ever met the most erudite. Shockingly erudite. The bastards read books on the set. I've never seen that. While the set's being lit, they're reading quite heavy tomes about the decline of the British Empire or something. He'd catch us holding them upside-down, which is a little embarrassing. They just happen to have a 6-year-old's sense of humor. It's a very good combination for this material. Nick Hornby is a clever man with a childish sense of humor, in a way. It epitomizes the film. It was horrible. Horrible. But driving fast behind the ambulance was fantastic. I think it's important that Hugh wanted to play the character we wanted him to play. Hugh is every bit as withdrawn and morally suspect as the character he plays. I'm not sure he'd deny it himself. He's much less like the bumptious lovable, snuffling guy that you see in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" or "Notting Hill", so I think he was ready to play a character who's a little closer to the bone. I like any strong story set in Britain, really. I find, the older I get, the more I want to work here for all kinds of reasons. I thought it offered the possibility of breaking my mold a little bit. I'd just done it, to a certain extent, in "Bridget Jones's Diary" in one way, going bastard and in this, I thought to go shallow and trendy would be novel for me. He is very focused and very serious about what he does. He's a very committed, serious actor and he has great chemistry with women. He was wonderful to play opposite. He's constantly honing how he's going to deliver lines and rewriting stuff as well, so that it is perfect and, kind of, just right. It's a habit I've developed always, really it's got worse over the last few films which is, to just try new stuff when the camera's rolling. It's really through an inadequacy of mine as an actor, which is that I'm fine in rehearsal saying the lines as written. It feels quite fresh and spontaneous. As soon as the camera turns, it always comes out, for me, rather stale. It's just part of trying to reinvent it. Sort of making it up again as you go along. Hugh was good to work with, actually. Yeah. He was hard to keep up with sometimes, especially at first, because he improvises. Suddenly, he'll add a bit to the scene, or change stuff around. That's quite hard sometimes but you get used to it. I think I learned quite a lot of that, over the three months. For us, for me at least, it gets a little boring unless there's a bit of improvisation. We like to get what's in the script but then, we like to go up to an actor and say, "Why don't you try this?" "Try an improvisation in this direction." One cool thing about Nicholas is he was totally game for it. Even when we were auditioning him if we went off the book, he would respond as the character. That's a huge help. - I think you look cool. - Yeah. That's it, you got the walk. That's really cool. Brilliant. High five. Yeah. It's important they click in a specific way, an eccentric way. We didn't want them to get too "pals-y" with each other. How did they work with each other? I'm not sure they did. Hugh is frightened of children, and children are frightened of Hugh. I don't know. Kids acting. I've never really done it before. I didn't know what to expect. I'm not a natural kid person. Some people are. They love them. They see a kid, and run over. Twirl them around their head, play with their train set or whatever. I'm not that guy but we just took great trouble to find a kid that wouldn't annoy me. We found Nicholas, who had only done a couple of little TV things. It was really kind of a gut-churning risk to take because you knew that you're placing the responsibility of half of the movie on the shoulders of someone who is not only 11 years old but hadn't done this before. This is for my mum. Nicholas is a freak. He's so focused and grown-up about it. He knows his lines and has immaculate instincts which is lovely. It's not something you always find in grown-up actors. I felt like I learned a lot from working with him because he hadn't learned all the kind of acting tricks that grown-ups do. He's a pure, instinctive performer. There's nothing better than that. I love working with kids because I think they have what every actor wants which is an ability to be in the moment. They haven't developed this brick wall of neuroses that most actors find so difficult to jump over. It's nice to be around that sense of freedom, in terms of acting. I'm not talking about this with you. Just go. Okay. But I'll be back. I'm really scared! I think, the Weitz brothers, comedy is their first instinct and I'm a tart for a laugh. Funny enough, I find that Toni Collette is, too. Everyone's pulling in that direction. I just hope we don't pull too far and it's still as sad and resonant as it should be. It's not this candy-coated comedy. It deals with really serious subject matters. It does so quite gracefully. It creates poignant, moving moments and a lot of depth, which I think makes you appreciate the humor of it even more. I think all good comedy is based on sadness, in a funny kind of way. If you've got that core there, the funniness is usually funnier. In this film, there's a lot of sadness, particularly in the boy's life. The comedy plays all the stronger against that. I know the difference between kids who can't settle down and kids who are just miserable. Look at him! Don't accuse me of being melodramatic. - This coming from a woman who tried to... - Cowabunga! - What's the matter with you? - Nothing. I just felt like a shout. Jesus, what a family. The movie, when you set out to make it, is a bit of a balancing act between humor and pathos, and if you go too far in one direction you lose your balance completely. You're absolutely on a knife edge. It's not, "Man falls into room takes his trousers down, slips on a banana skin, farts." Which are all hilarious, by the way. That's my favorite kind of comedy. It's light, delicate stuff. If you're on that knife edge of tone, it can quite freak you out. I think that idea that you can switch from depressed empathy to laughter is an attractive one for a cinema audience because contemporary films especially tend to take very much one tone. We've not become very good at switching moods like that and I think it would be a terrible thing to lose from the cinema. Me. ... who has dedicated his entire life... How would you like to be lmogene's godfather? ... to himself. You must be joking. I'll drop her at her christening. I'll forget her birthdays until her 18th, when I'll take her out and get her drunk and possibly, let's face it, you know, try and shag her. The thing is, a person's life is like a TV show. Oh, my God. - Can I come in? - No. I was the star of "The Will Show". And "The Will Show" wasn't an ensemble drama. You will end up childless and alone. Both fingers crossed, yeah. And then something terrible happened. Something I'd tried to avoid all my life. This year, Will's life is going to change. Alone, bad. Friend, good. He's reaching out. I want to go out with her. - I'd like her to be my girlfriend. - Brilliant! Just be as normal as you can, okay? He fancies you. He told me. From the producers of "Meet the Parents". I think I killed a duck. Jesus, what a family. I was in some strange territory. Was I frightened? I was petrified. Hugh Grant. He likes your mum, and I think she's keen on him. She's not keen on him! She's only keen on me! About a Boy. I deliver perfection... and don't brag about it! : D From busking because you had to four and a half years ago in Manchester to busking for fun with Grace Jones at 4:00 in the morning last night. What a strange and wonderful journey you've had. It's a nice couple of bookends that you... A way of putting it. Proof that good things do happen to good people. We're going to talk to you and find out where you were, where you're at and where you're going in the next half hour. So it's been about four and a half years since you've released "EP1". Can you remember a time before you were "Badly Drawn Boy" as such. It crosses my mind a lot that kind of question because I remember reading something Bob Dylan said in an interview recently that he cannot remember being not famous. - Not famous. This is someone who's been famous since the '60s and I was born in the '60s. I can sort of relate to it even though it's only been four years. It's a nice way of putting it, the way Dylan said it. It made me think. I sort of feel like that myself. I didn't know whether I felt right about that. I've often thought and looked back when I held that first EP in my hand and remembered the feelings that surrounded that time. - Simple pleasures. - Yeah. Do you allow much time for yourself to reflect, to romanticize those moments before you had the pressures of being an established record selling artist? I can sort of do it, because I'm still close to obviously my family, parents and my brother, who I used to work with before this happened. So whenever I see them I'll talk to them, which is quite regularly at least a few times a week. That just keeps me... That just keeps me remembering what I did before this. Life hasn't changed a lot in terms of how I feel inside. - It's just what happens outside. - The exterior. Those early inspirations that inspired you to want to sing and play and write. Just a handful of people that you can think of off the top of your head who inspired you. The definite first one I talked about a lot when the album "Bewilderbeast" came out was Bruce Springsteen, and I made a conscious decision I would mention him because an artist with a career that long that was exposed to this country after "Born In The U.S.A.", which was about the time I discovered him but not because of all the songs, but because of his '70s music really. I had this romantic notion that I could transport myself back to that time and relive it. Which is impossible to happen. He became a massive figure in my life for two or three years. That was the definite first person I could say was responsible. I met Bruce actually and told him this story. He seemed quite flattered. Definitely without Bruce I don't think... There's a good chance I might not have gone into music at all. What about at home, though? What about the bands that came from Britain? It's a funny one. A lot of the British bands at the time, obviously Manchester was the big scene then and I lived about 10 miles out of Manchester, in Bolton. It didn't grab me. I'm constantly criticized in Manchester for saying this, but I'm only telling the truth. It was something I was preempting, perhaps what my future would hold. It was something I was scared of, a huge scene. I think a lot of bands suffered from it. Something like, further down the line that I could really take it in and understand what it was about and really like the music, like Happy Mondays, especially. The Roses, as well. I'm a big fan of what lan Brown does now probably more so than then. It's often the case with trends and what seems to be a scene at the time. You find yourself coming back to it five years later or longer. Once the hype dies down and music is rediscovered on its own merits and not being caught up in why people are wearing that outfit and why they're buying that record and why they're saying that lingo. I think I was going through a phase. I was 20, 21. It should have been the perfect timing. That's when I was the perfect age for that to be my time but I think I was trying to be cooler than all that. Plus I had my head in other things. I was more into Tom Waits at that point than anything that was going on locally. It was around '94 when I began to really feel like I knew the music I did like. - The bands like Ween and Guided By Voices. - Now you're talking. For sure. That was a real enlightening period. Number one, I felt like I discovered it for myself and it wasn't something anybody else found for me, which is always nice to feel. - To think for yourself at that age. - Yeah. People used to say you were searching for a style. That was a common criticism. Were they missing the point? Had you already realized what it is you wanted to get across? I don't think I was doing anything but being myself. It really wasn't a mystery to me, but it mystified a lot with the people. It really, really got on my nerves because I thought, "You do this, you try doing this." No one has given me any help to do this. That's why they're critics and you're a musician. They're there to criticize and you're there to make music. Out of that chaos came this magic that was "Hour of the Bewilderbeast". A full-length record which took everyone by surprise. Everyone was expecting this amazing record but not expecting it to be quite that amazing. It can be quite an intimidating process when you've released various EPs and you've done various shows here and there and it all points to the day you can go into the studio and make a full-length album. Was it intimidating? Not particularly at that point, because "Bewilderbeast" was unique. I don't think any album I do from now on will be anything like that because it was culled over a period of time, like the clichéd thing about the first record being a lifetime's work, or your life up to that point anyway. It wasn't really that intense because all that worrying... I wanted to do something people like and I wanted to do something I liked. No rest for the wicked and there hasn't been since you released "Hour of the Bewilderbeast". It went on to sell a lot of copies over the course of four singles "Once Around The Block", "Another Pearl", "Disillusion" and "Pissing In The Wind". You won Mercury Music Prize, you played the Royal Albert Hall and then you pissed off to America. That must have been a blur. When you put it like that, yeah, it was. I can't remember four years or whatever it is since the first EP. Sometimes it feels like it's far longer, 10 years. Sometimes feels, like everything else, like it was yesterday. It's what it's like to be a human being, really. Highlights? I don't know, I try not to dwell on the past. People still... Those points to mention, like you said, playing the Albert Hall was probably still the biggest gig I did that was tickets sold under my name. I've done festivals with bigger audiences, etcetera. I've never done a support for either, which I'm quite proud of. - Impressive, impressive. - So the Albert Hall was a massive moment. The Mercury Prize, obviously. It all falls into some surreal world that you can't remember too well. Basically 'cause I'm moving on as well. I don't think "Bewilderbeast" was the album I wanted to make at the time. I think I had other things in mind but it became that record because that's all I had to offer. I was still thinking, "What can I do next?" Let's move on since it seems like a good point to get on with it. Along comes this movie, "About a Boy" and you're thinking about making another record, moving on from "Bewilderbeast". Had you considered working in movies before, doing a soundtrack before that point? Not specifically. Not with any great seriousness. Just something that crops up occasionally because, I think, me and my collection of friends, if I can call them a collection like Andy Votel of Twisted Nerve and the people that we're surrounded by, all good friends of ours that film has always been a massive part of what we talk about. Andy, especially, is a huge film buff and pretty tasteful as well. It was always like, as soon as this thing came along and was offered to me how could I say no to... As long as I felt comfortable with the subject matter... It's not something I was yearning to do. As you pointed out, I was yearning to go on with my own work. It came as a mixed blessing. There must've been some pressure following "Bewilderbeast". This gives you a chance to work on someone else's project. Be creative but not necessarily under the name Badly Drawn Boy as such. There is a really nice feeling to doing that collaboration where you can really sort of let yourself go a little bit more than normal, where you're trying to express yourself. I think that's why it's such a pressured thing when you're making your own record. 'Cause you are trying to explicitly express who you are. Or I am, anyway, because that's what I do with my music. It really is intrinsic to my life. It's not a side issue. It's not another world. It's actually part and parcel of the world. - The truth. - So, it's very scary to do that and know that people are going to listen and understand a bit more about you and you'll never meet them, probably. The more you do the better it seems to get, the easier it seems to get. It's like anything else. It's sort of like practice makes perfect. I think by doing this film soundtrack it's been a brilliant period of time where I'm far less precious than I ever have been about what I'm doing. I feel it's a much better period of time in life and in music than it was when the first album came out. Did the impending arrival of your new baby boy affect your writing "About A Boy"? I know that seems a cheesy and corny question but it presents itself, so I'll ask it. It is very cheesy and corny, but nonetheless worthwhile. It's very difficult to understand whether I'm affected. I mean kids are obviously now a huge part of my life. Edie's like 16 months old and she's just adorable. It's like I can't believe she's mine, as it were. Everybody that meets her... She just touches everybody's heart. She's a brilliant little girl. She's a crazy, crackers, beautiful little thing. I can't believe I deserve to have her, really, and then Oscar comes along and, God bless him, he's just finding his feet, he's only a month old. He's shaping up well, as well. It must touch me in some way, but when I write music it's touched by all sides of my life, so it's very hard to distinguish whether it's that thing or this thing. When I write, it tends to be my relationship between me and the guitar is the most important factor. Occasionally those outside things creep in. You went to Los Angeles to record the album with Tom Rothrock who's an inspired collaborator with Beck and Elliot Smith. What did you learn from working with him as a producer? Tom was an inspired choice by me, to credit myself. It was a shot in the dark, really. I didn't know where he lived. I didn't know what he was doing, or whether he even knew who I was. And I thought, partly because of the Beck comparisons I've always had... I thought, "Well, sod it, why don't I give them what they want?" "I'll go and work with Beck's guy and prove that I'm nothing like Beck." Because I want to be my own artist and I'm sure Beck does. Beck's a genius, or close to it. You've proved that point. When you listen to the work you've done with Tom and the work Beck's done with Tom and even Elliot Smith... They're very unique musicians. There's some affinity because we're all men, solo artists, and we all sing and write songs. A very tenuous thread, though. A very tenuous thread. You've been open with people so far, about this record. Normally, I don't like to go too far ahead of myself or with whoever I'm talking to about the next record beyond, but you seem keen to talk about it. You've been working on this for a bit, now, and you told me upstairs you've got 17 songs. Yeah, when I was doing the press and interviews for "About a Boy" again, I'm somebody who prides himself on being honest and I couldn't not mention the fact that I'm in the middle of the next record because it's on my mind, really. To let people know what I'm thinking because when I'm asked questions about the soundtrack even when I've done the odd few little gigs, recently I'm struggling to remember lyrics, because I'm 17 songs into the next album with another 20 that are in my head that I haven't tried to record yet and it's pretty terrifying to try and remember words to something I've just finished... Oh, the horror! The horror of being prolific. It's not really prolific, because half the songs are crap. - I think we'll be the judge of that, son. - Prolifically crap. What I've worked out with working with Tom Rothrock and the methods that we've achieved is that I know, for a fact, I can make an album in six weeks from initializing it to mixing it. If I can't find six weeks in the next year to make a record, I'm not doing my job well. I'd like to be the kind of artist that, on average, puts out a record a year for the time I'm considered an artist, because I think otherwise it's lazy. So by the end of this year, if I manage to finish this one and get it out by September it'll be three albums out, and roughly I'll be on track for that average. Which I think is only fair to the fans and fair to me. He's knocked that one out of the park. His average has gone up. That's four albums in four years and each one a bona fide hit. Advice, Damon, for us all to live our lives. I'd hate to think I'm capable of giving advice of any worth because I'm in the middle of learning myself and trying to understand what it is to be doing this job that I do. I get asked questions by a lot of young bands, asking how to get into the business. I really have never got the answer, I just say: "If it's what you do, you'll do it. If it's part of your life." "If there's going to be longevity to it, you'll just do it." "There really isn't a way of telling you how. You'll do it because I had to." If I became the kind of artist that sold a huge amount of records then that would be the time where I'd write something so crazy I'd make people wonder why they got into me in... I'd want to do that. You're on the right path with this power ballad, mate. You're a self-fulfilling prophecy and I like you mainly 'cause I made £30 over the Mercury Prize. I'll remember you for that. - Thanks for your time. It was fun. - Thank you. Okay, you ready for this? As ever. Let's do it. Let's play "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" Who wrote the phrase "No man is an island"? John Donne? John Milton? John F. Kennedy? Jon Bon Jovi? Jon Bon Jovi. Too easy. And, if I may say so, a complete load of bollocks. In my opinion, all men are islands. And what's more, now's the time to be one. This is an island age. A hundred years ago, you had to depend on other people. No one had TV or CDs or DVDs or videos or home espresso makers. Actually, they didn't have anything cool. Whereas now, you see you can make yourself a little island paradise. With the right supplies and the right attitude you can be sun-drenched, tropical, a magnet for young Swedish tourists. Hi, it's Kristina. I haven't heard from you. I had a great time last weekend. So give me a call, okay? 'Bye. And I like to think that perhaps I am that kind of island. I like to think I'm pretty cool. I like to think I'm Ibiza. There were people who had a good time in life. I was beginning to realize I wasn't one of them. I just didn't fit. I didn't fit at my old school. I definitely didn't fit at my new one. I heard that some kids got taught by their parents at home. Mum couldn't do that, unless I paid her to teach me. Because it was just her and me. And she went to work. She made £400 a week. Where was I gonna get that kind of money from? Maybe if I was like that movie kid, Haley Joel Osment I could pay her that much. But if that meant being good at drama, forget it. I was crap at drama. 'Cause I hated standing up in front of people. So, basically, I had to go to school. The sad fact is that, like any island dweller from time to time I had to visit the mainland. This is Imogene. You can hold her if you like. That's... Well, okay. Yeah. Got her. Lovely. Yeah, she's delightful, isn't she? I know. Isn't she? To tell the truth, I'm being crap with her. You better take her back. She could've been yours if you got your act together. Just think of that, yeah. So, the place is looking really nice. Barney, Barney, Barney. Say hello to Will, Barney. Here we go. It's the Antichrist. Hello, Barney. How are you? -He's lovely. -Yeah. And what about you, Will? Any desire for a family of your own yet? I'd rather eat Barney's nappies. Not really. I'm sort of all right as I am. Please, Will. What does that mean? "Please" what? Look at yourself. You're 38 and you've never had a job or a relationship that lasted longer than two months. I wouldn't exactly say you were okay. I mean, I would say you were a disaster. I mean, what is the point of your life? Bloody hell. You're right. There's probably no point to my life but thank you for bringing it up. The reason we wanted you to come here today was we wanted to ask you how would you like to be Imogene's godfather? Seriously? Seriously. Listen, I'm really, really touched. But you must be joking. I couldn't possibly think of a worse godfather for Imogene. You know me. I'll drop her at her christening. I'll forget her birthdays until her 18th, when I'll take her out and get her drunk and possibly, let's face it, you know, try and shag her. I mean, seriously, it's a very, very bad choice. We know, I just thought you had hidden depths. No. No. You've always had that wrong. I really am this shallow. Here we are. You know you don't have to walk me to school anymore now, Mum. I know the way now. But what if I like walking you to school? Right. Who are you? I'm me. And what are you not? A sheep. Right. And what does a sheep go? Marcus? I love you. Look. I love you, too. "I love you, Marcus!" Love you! Look at him! While I couldn't accept the offer to become their child's godfather I did allow them to set me up with Angie, a rather beautiful coworker of Christine's. They had, however, being them, neglected to tell me one thing. There's something you don't know about me. Yeah? Something exciting? I think so, yes. I have a 3-year-old boy. I wanted to throw the napkin on the floor, push over the table and run. Brilliant. I love kids. Yeah. I like messing about with them. Doing kid things. I'd have been disappointed if you didn't have a child. Why do you say that? God knows. Mainly because it sounded smooth and winning. Because I love kids so much. They're so lovely. I'm perfectly willing to let it go. But I don't drink anymore... and I don't lie. And as far as I know, I'm not crazy. So if you're accusing me... Look, here's the thing. I don't know how I ended up here last night. I didn't even know I was in West Virginia. Some how, between 1:00 and 2:30... I traveled 400 miles and ended up on that road by your house... and I've got no memory of it. And you call me crazy? I was afraid I'd see you here. Okay. You didn't show up. Too bad. I really wanted to know what I look like. Sergeant, I'm curious. Last night you said... things had been strange... around here lately. - What kind of things? - You really don't want to know. Now I really need to know. Just your odd reports. People seeing things they can't explain, so they all come to me. 'Cause you're the cop. Because they know me. You know, if there are other people in this town... who are feeling as... confused as I am right now... I'd sure like to hear it. The past few months, people have been coming up to me... and reporting that they've been seeing strange things. I don't mean the town speed freak. I mean good, honest, church going people. I've known these folks my entire life... and they seem down right embarrassed to be bringing it up. Bringing what up? It's hard to explain. Weird lights, strange phone calls, you. Seeing a UFO is one thing. What do you do when someone tells you they saw this in their backyard? What is it? My wife died two years ago. She saw something. Drew pictures. Who showed you this? It was right here. There was only a foot or so between its head and that branch. That makes it about... eight feet tall. Yeah. I was getting ready for bed and just happened to glance out the window. At first all I could see... were these two red eyes. I kept looking at it. I couldn't stop. I've never had that feeling before, like I couldn't move. And then I guess itjust... took off.. That may not make much sense, but it's... the only way I can put it into words. You didn't see it, did you? It started about two months ago. Every time I answered the phone I'd hear it. The first one was just a loud beeping noise. Now they're mostly these creaking, howling sounds. They all like this? Well, once it was a man talking really fast. - What'd he say? - I couldn't make it out. - Some foreign language. - Have you had the line checked? I even had our number changed. But before I got a chance to give it out to anyone... the calls started again. It's not a question of believing them. Like I said, they're honest people. - How long you lived here? - My whole life. - I grew up right over that hill. - On a farm? Shucks, no. A real live house. Indoor plumbing and everything. Sorry. We even had shoes for church and schooling' and stuff. All right, all right. Where the hell are you? I'm still here. - West Virginia? - Yeah. Something's come up. You're kidding. Something of national interest in West Virginia? No, scientific. I'll tell you about it later. Cy's beginning to look rabid. Keep him at bay, okay? Are you okay? You sounda little stressed. No, I'm fine. I'll talk to you later. We were parked up here... and sort a making out in the back seat. And what happened next... is sort of hard to explain. Next day... I woke up and... both my... my eyes were swelled up. What did the doctors say? He couldn't explain it. See this one here? It ain't never healed. We're getting engaged. That's good. - I gotta talk to you. - Okay. Last night I woke up... with the worst headache I've ever had in my life. I went into the bathroom to get some aspirin... and I happened to look in the mirror... and... I swear to God... I see something... I can't describe. But it sure as hell... is not my reflection. And then... I hear... this weird... howl... coming out of the sink. And there's a voice. It's a voice... and it's saying... "Do not be afraid. Ninety-nine will die. Denver Nine". I even wrote it down. He just keeps saying the same thing over and over for an hour... and then it stops. And when I wake up this morning I look at this piece of paper... where I wrote down the words... and this thing is on it. I did not draw that. - Gordon? - What? Gordon, you... your ear's bleeding. What? This CAT scan is clean, Gordon. No sign of any physical problem. Are you sure? Because this man's wife had a tumor. What you had, Gordon, was a first-class migraine. - I can write you a prescription. - That'd be good. - Thank you, Doctor. - There were other symptoms, Doc. He had hallucinations, heard voices. Aren't they both associated with glioblastoma? I see nothing here to suggest... something as exotic as glioblastoma, Mr. Klein... but if you'd like I can refer Mr. Smallwood to another neurologist... for a second opinion. - He's wrong. - No, that'd be fine. Thank you. Thank you very much. Wait. Wait. He's not wrong. Nothing's wrong. Nothing's wrong. He's not wrong 'cause there's nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong. You go to a doctor with a bleeding ear and he tells you you got a headache... Yes, well, you're not sick, so that is good news. I wish I was sick. Then I would know why this is happening. You shouldn't say things like that. What should I say, Denise? I'm hallucinating. I'm hearing voices. Was your wife hearing voices before she had her tumor? No. 13 News is headed to the scene, and we'll have a live report in minutes. Again our top story, Domain Air flight 9 out of Denver has crashed. An airline representative is expected to make a statement shortly. There is no confirmation... but all 99 passengers and crew members are believed dead. Wow, man. Could I speak to Alexander Leek, please? - This is Leek. - Mr. Leek, this is John Klein. I'm working on a pretty strange story. I was hoping you might be able to help me out. I'm particularly interested in your theories on precognition and prophecies. Anything you want to know is in the book. Yeah, but the chapter that you have on the entities you call... Were you contacted... or are you pretending to have a professional interest? Yeah... No. I'm a reporter for The Washington Post. Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Klein. I don't work in those areas anymore. I don't understand. To hear a voice is one thing... but this isn't just a message, it's a prediction. It came true. These things Gordon's having, are they dreams or hallucinations? The way he describes them, they sound like dreams. I don't know. He believes they're real. I had a dream like that. Yeah? It was nighttime... and I was in the middle of the ocean. I was trying to swim, but I was too cold. I kept looking... I kept looking for something... to hang on to. And there were presents... floating all around me. They were wrapped up. They were tied with bows. I tried to grab on to them, but they kept popping away. And then I started to sink... like a stone. There was nothing I could do. I was falling. But it felt good. I was letting go. I was letting myself go... and... all I could see... was black... and all I could feel was the darkness above me... and the lights... coming from below. I knew I was dying. And then I heard this voice, like somebody whispering in my ear. "Wake up, number 37". And then I woke up. What do you think that means? Number 37? I have absolutely no idea. I met him. The guy who told me about the plane crash. You met him? Yeah. I met him. Last night, coming home from work about midnight. I'm driving past the cement plant... out bythe chemical factory. Right. Something happened. Bright... flash. Lightning. Something... encircles me. Everything's kind ofhot. I feel like I can't catch... catch my breath. He looked human. But there was just something... wrong about him. That's when I heard the voice. The same voice that I heard two nights ago. He said... "Do not be afraid. My name... is Indrid Cold". And he said to me... "In a place this size. Equator. Three hundred. Three hundred will die. Wait for me. I will return. I will see you in time". And that was it. It's a Iittle... Have a look. She knew. I didn't see anything. You want to hear the chief's latest phone call? Yes? - Thank God you're there. - Gordon? I know I sounded crazy the other day, but things are getting weird out here. Slow down, Gordon. - He's here. - Who's here? Indrid Cold. He's standing right next to me. Get over to Gordon's right away. He says Indrid Cold is there. Gordon, let me talk to him. Sure. Hang on. Hello, John Klein. Who is this? My name is Indrid Cold. Unless, of course, you're Gordon Smallwood. Your father was born in Racine, Wisconsin. He lived in a green house on Monroe Street. You don't remember how your mother looked. Okay, you got my attention. - Where's my watch? - In your shoe. Under the bed. Very good, John. Thank you. What's in my hand? Chap Stick. You're reading my mind, aren't you? Did you read my mind? I have no need to, do I? What's the third line of page 51? "A broken smile beneath her whispered wings". Still more proof, John Klein? What do you look like? It depends on who's looking. I want to meet you. You already have, John. I have seen you afraid. You're afraid right now, aren't you? Can I ask you something? Why ask me what you already know, John? What happened to my wife? You were there. Mary Klein cannot be found by looking. You will see her in time. What's up, Connie? Everything okay? Did you just call John? I've been asleep since 9:00. Unless, of course, you're Gordon Smallwood. See? It's sticking up here around 1,950 cycles per second. But it never gets any lower than maybe 1,930 or so. But yours is way down here in the normal vocal range... anywhere between 1,000 and 1,200 cycles per second. Okay, so this guy's vocal range is much higher than mine. What makes you think it's a man? Still more proof, John Klein? What is it? Near as I can tell, it's... an electrical impulse. But whatever it is, it's not coming from human vocal cords. Why ask me what you already know, John? What happened to my wife? You were there. Mary Klein cannot be found by looking. You will see her in time. This isn't like you. We used to rip on this stuff. when it came over the wire. Yeah, I know. - It's different when it happens to you. - Do me a favor. Talk to Cyrus today. Tell him you got the flu. Any excuse. I'll back you up. I just wanna make sure you still got a job... when you're done doing whatever it is you're doing down there. Okay, I'll call you from Chicago. What time is your flight? 8:00 a.m. Am I crazy? No. I am crazy. Alexander Leek. - Who the hell are you? -John Klein. I called you last week. Do you know what that is? Stay away. I need to know what this is. Tell me. Where are they seeing it? Point Pleasant, West Virginia. You can help me. Follow me. The nocturnal butterfly. In ancient cultures, the moth represents a form of the psyche... or the soul immortally trapped... in the hellish death realms. Mothman. That's what the Ukranians called him. Rough translation, of course. There were 100 sightings in Chernobyl the year the nuclear plantwent down. Galveston, 1969, just before the hurricane. They saw it. But seeing isn't always believing. Look, there's never been a single shred of evidence... to show that these things exist materially. So you're telling me these things do not exist? Oh, they exist. All kinds of things exist around us that we never see. Electricity, microwaves, infrared waves. You know, these things have been around forever. They show up in cave paintings. They're a normal condition ofthe planet. They're just not part of our consensus of what constitutes... physical reality. What are they part of, then? You're asking for an explanation... for something... that can't be explained rationally. You know the buildup of energy before something happens? The way your hair stands up before lightning strikes? "Before something happens". Do you mean they cause disasters? Why would they need to? All right, then... are they trying to warn me? Their motivations... aren't human. All right, then what do they want? I have no idea. What you really want is to know... why you? Yes. You noticed them, and they noticed that you noticed them. Most people aren't sensitive enough to see them... without some kind of... trauma. What happened toyou, Mr. Klein? Last week my friend got a strange phone call... from an entity... a spirit, whatever. It seemed to know everything. Like God? - It made predictions that came true? - Yes. His name was Indrid Cold. It's perception, John. They appear differently to everyone. A voice, a light, a man, a monster. If your friend thinks it's God he spoke to, he's off by more than a few degrees. Then how do you explain that it knows everything? Look at that. If there was a car crash 10 blocks away, that window washer could likely see it. That doesn't mean he's God... or even smarter than we are. But from where he's sitting... he can see a little further down the road. I think we can assume that... these entities are more advanced than us. Why don't they just come right out and tell us what's on their minds? You're more advanced than a cockroach. Have you ever tried explaining yourself to one of them? How many people have seen it? Ten. Twenty, maybe. Listen to me. Something terrible is going to happen in Point Pleasant. Don't go back. Stay away. I can't talk about this anymore. There is a reason... that I ended up in Point Pleasant. Something brought me there. Whatever brought you there... brought you there to die. You're just in time. They're just about to light this Christmas tree. They have been for the last two hours. Isn't that Denise? Is she okay? She left Gordon. He got fired from the chemical plant. Just stopped coming to work one day. Shit. - Where is he? - Who knows? Be back in a second. Connie. What's wrong? Fifteen more people reported seeing that thing today. Fifteen. Three of them were cops. I hate this, John. I absolutely goddamn hate this. How was Chicago? What did he say? He wouldn't see me. Shit. You all right? It's cold. Get in the car, warm up. I can't. I'm waiting for him. Everybody in this town is looking at me like I'm insane. You know why? Denise and all the others, they don't know, John. I do. I don't think you're crazy. Okay? You talked to him too, John. You know... I've been lying awake at night. I feel... like I'm sleeping... but I'm awake. That's when I hear him. And lately, when I hear him... all at once... I understand. Everything. John, doyou remember the last time you were happy? It's real. These things are real. I want you to be happy. Yeah? What? This is your wake-up call, Mr. Klein. I didn't ask for a wake-up call. What happened to you, Mr. Klein? I can't believe I got through. Gordon, where are you, man? Speak up. Listen, John, he was right. Mr. Cold was right about everything. Right? Right about what? I can't hear you. He was right about understanding. It's real, John. I want you to know. - It's real. - What is... What are you talking about? You've got nothing to worry about. I'll see you in time. Gordon? Can they tell how long he was out there? Looks like he's been dead about eight hours. He died of exposure. What made you come out here? - He called me. - When? I didn't like the way he sounded. When did he call you, John? About an hour ago. I can't stand this. It didn't seem right to bring this up at the funeral... but as far as I know there's never been any accidents at the chemical plant. I don't know what you're talking about. I got your message the other day. I meant to call you back, but I forgot. Don't you remember leaving me that message? Chief, this is John Klein. I didn't call him. No, it's not me. I analyzed both tapes with the voice print. I don't care. It may be my voice. It's not me. - It is not me. - Listen to me. I would swear in a court of law that that's your voice. Yeah, great. Thanks. Shit! Regular coffee to go, please. Seventy-five cents. Have a great day. Do you know that woman? - What woman? - She just left. You didn't see her? - No. - That's strange. She had long red hair, green eyes, real pretty, and she was asking about you. - Did you see which way she went? - No. - What did she say? - She asked a lot of strange questions. What are you doing here? And she asked if you were happy. - What did you say? - I asked her for some ID. - Did she give you any? - No. She just said "Tell John I'm sorry for ruining everything", and then she left. What's wrong? Was it her? Was it her? That's your wife? It was her. - I'm not sure. - What? I mean, the hair is different. - Oh, come on! - What? - This is the woman you saw. - No, it isn't, John. Now, I agree there is a similarity... Bullshit! John, it's all right. I'm not all right. This is the woman you saw. She was here. This woman. Don't you do this to me. I'm sorry, John. I feel like I've ruined everything. I feel like I've ruined everything. I'm so sorry. I need to know what happened to you. Please. Come in. I was a physics professor at Cornell. Tenured. You can look me up. One day I started hearing voices. The voices became messages. Before long, I was fully convinced that I was receiving... predictions of disaster from outside intelligences. But you were, weren't you? John, I had tapes of their voices. I knew a building was going to blow up, and I tried to prevent it... but no one listened. What happened? People died. Many people died. I was investigated, almost arrested. My wife divorced me. My kids... stopped speaking to me. Do you know what four years in a psychiatric hospital can do to you? Everything... gone. Oh, you'll never understand their messages. You'll misinterpret them. I did. It almost destroyed me. In the end, it all came down to just... one simple question. Which was more important... having proof... or being alive? Trust me. I turned away years ago... and I've never looked back. Didn't you need to know? We're not allowed to know. It's me, Cyrus. John, is that you? Yeah. Yeah, it's me. Whatever you are doing, you drop it. Governor McCallum is going to Charleston. Then he's touring that chemical plant in Point Pleasant today. Now, I want you to go down there... and meet him at the airport. You listening? Yeah, McCal I um at the chemical plant. Got it. I need to know that you're gonna be there. John, are you there? Ohio. Great tragedy on the River Ohio. Great tragedy on the River Ohio. I can't call in sick just because you have a bad feeling about today. Just think about this. Gordon saw weird lights in the sky. They show up over the chemical plant. Josh gets a call from me, but it's not really me. I'm talking about something bad happening at the chemical plant. Then I get this message from this Indrid Cold... who's talking about a great tragedy on the Ohio River. Guess what's on the Ohio River. The chemical plant. Today Governor McCallum is gonna be there. I was on myway to interview him. That's how I ended... That's how I ended up here. My God. That's why I'm here. He was right. Who was right? You saw Leek. - He was part of the warning. - What? He was part of the warning. Stop, stop, stop. I didn't want to scare you. He said... He said the messages are real. Something terrible is gonna happen. Connie, please. We have to leave here now. I will not live my life like that. I will not make decisions based on messages from Indrid Cold. He may be real to you. He's not real to me. Okay, I'm going to Charleston. I'll be at the Marriott. Get yourself reassigned. I don't want you anywhere near the plant today. What if nothing happens? What if there's no great tragedy? What'll you do then? - That's not the point. - Well, I think it is the point. - Gordon believed what he heard too. - I am not Gordon! I know what's gonna happen. You have to leave now. I have to report to work. We can talk about this later. - Governor? - Good to see you, John. I need to speak with you. It's urgent. - What's this about, John? - It's the tour. You can't do it. You can't go. Listen to me. Cancel it. Cancel the tour. Cancel it. Make them shut down the plant now. The plant's gonna blow up while you're there. Where are the cops? What are they doing? - This is McCallum's chief aide. - They don't know yet. Have you received a bomb threat? I didn't say anything about a bomb. There's a source. - I know this sounds... - You're messing up here, John. Get me Cyrus Bills at the Post. Our top story takes us tonight to Point Pleasant... - where Virginia Governor McCallum... - Turn it up! toured the Edgewater Petrochemical plant. In what he's called a successful review... Governor McCallum has given high marks to this petrochemical plant. He is expected to call for similar renovations... at several Virginia plants. WOWK-TV 13... has an exclusive look inside at what the governor saw. Son of a bitch. I congratulate my friends at Edgewater Petrochemical... on a job well done. - Success here at Point Pleasant... - Excuse me, Mr. Klein. You have a message. Come in. - Back to Washington? - Yeah. - Do you have to go? - I have to go. - If this is about today... - No, it's not. I got a message. I have to go home. I have to be there noon on Friday. John, do you realize what's happening to you? I have to go. Hey, it's me. - Connie? - Yeah. I thought we could chat for, say, 10 or 15 minutes. - I'm sorry. Can I call you back? - No,you can't. - I booked you a flight. - What? It leaves Dulles for Columbus, Ohio at 1:45. I tried to get you on the one to Charleston, but they're all booked up. So if you leave now, you'll just make it. I can't. It's Christmas Eve, John. You shouldn't be alone. I can't. Yeah, you can. You know... when Mary got sick... I couldn't help thinking... this isn't real. I can stop this. I know I can. I can stop this. No one can stop it, John. Listen to me. Planes are going to crash. Earthquakes are going to happen. People you know and love are going to die... and no matter what that voice tells you... there's nothing you can do about it. It's two years to the day. He told me that she's goi ng to call. He said that Mary's going to call. He's lying. Whoever calls maysound like her... but it's not gonna be her. I don't know what happens to us after we die... but I'll bet you wherever Mary is now... she's nowhere near Indrid Cold. What if it is her? She's dead, John. The only important question now is how do you want to remember her? I miss her so much. I know you do. Of course you do. But, John, listen... you can miss her here just as easily as there. Even more easily because there, you're all alone. And that's just no way to be. You do whatever you need to do... and I'll understand. But here, we have dinner at 6:00... and we open presents at 8:00. And we hope we see you. Okay? Bye,John. WJMP time is 5:51 on this chilly Christmas Eve. Come on. - You know what's going on down there? - Some problem with the traffic lights. Shit. Great tragedy on the River Ohio. My God. Get off the bridge! Everyone's gotta get off the bridge! Get off! Everyone get out of your cars and get off! C.J., come on! You've gotta get off. Turn the damn thing down. - What? - You gotta get off the bridge now! - Get out! Get out! - Let's go! Get off! Get off the bridge! Oh, God! Go! Get out of the car! Get off the bridge! Quick! Let's get out! Get out! Get out! Come on. Get out. All units, this is unit 64. Get out! Signal 33 on the Silver Bridge. Rose, do you copy? Signal 33 on the Silver Bridge... Wake up. Wake up. Here we go. You are here. I didn't know if I was dreaming or... I left DC right after you called. You did call me, right? Yeah. Yeah, I called. - How bad is it? - It's bad. But I supposed it could've been a lot worse. Are they done with the search? Thirty-six. Looks like about 36 people. Jesus. Thirty-six? Thirty-six? Wake up, number 37. en Point Pleasant, Virginia. THE MOTHMAN PROPHECIES Jesus! Are you still there? No, I'm back. I'm not sure I got the spelling. It is a "Y" Okay, great. Yes, thank you. Bye. Honey,you there? Pick up, pick up. You're not there. Okay. Look, it's a little after 6:00. I'll catch a ride and see you out there. Bye. - John. - Yeah? The Balkans peace council is "comprised" or "composed" of ten members? Twelve members. Oh, right. Thanks. Composed. What? A three-block area has been evacuated. You might wanna avoid that route coming home from work. - What do you think, Cy? - I'll lead with it. - Great. I'll see you Monday. This'll make them sweat. It's good. What? - I gotta go. - Come on, John. It'll look bad, my star reporter not showing up at the Christmas party. I can't.Mary's waiting for me. It's a big house, isn't it? It's a steal at this price. That's if you want it. But we're gonna have to make an offer today. The owner's highly motivated. Think it over. I'll make some calls.Take a look around. Okay. Thank you, Brian. Thank you very much. It's okay. We're just gonna look. My God. Here you are. We were just making sure there was adequate closet space. Good. Well, this house is yours if you want it... but you have to decide right now. We'll take it. -Really? Oh, my God! You know what I kept thinking when we were looking at that house? That we should get a mattress for that closet. I kept thinking that it felt like a dream come true. Come here. - How fast can you drive this thing? - Really fast. Let's see. Okay. - We bought a really, really... - Excuse me. We bought a house. We bought a big house. ¡Mary! ¡Mary! ¡Mary! Mary, are you all right? Mary, talk to me. Are you okay? Can you hear me? Jesus Christ! Hold on, darling. 911, there's been an accident. Yes. You okay? You didn't see it, did you? Seewhat? What did you see? I didn't see anything. John. There's something wrong with me. It's called a glioblastoma. It's a temporal lobe tumor. According to the doctor, it's extremely rare. 600,000 gets this thing. Did they say it was a result ofthe accident? No, it turns out... that it's been there a while. There's nothing else they can do? No, no. They did the surgery, and they couldn't get it all out, so they'll... keep her on the chemo... as long as her strength holds out. That's working. I think she's looking better now. Good. That's good. Two weeks ago... we were house hunting. One day you're just driving along in your car and the universe... just points at you and says... "Ah, there you are, a happy couple. I've been looking for you. I've been looking for you". I'm sorry. For what? For all of this. I feel like I ruined everything. You didn't ruin anything. Not a damn thing. I want you to be happy. You didn'tsee it, did you? Yes. Yeah? She knew. What? She was drawing angels. Two years later. It was the meanness of the campaigns... the almost complete lack of candor and honesty... that turned the voters off.. I think that these parties are demonizing each other. They're projecting our own personal fears and anxieties... onto the national stage. People don't like it. People are very, very unsatisfied at the moment. It makes them complacent because they don't see any possibility of change. 2004... Is there a dark horse candidate out there for the Democrats? Well, I'm hearing a lot about Russ McCallum. - Governor of Virginia. - Yeah, he might do what Carter... Hey, I told her to watch. Who? Peter's friend Gwen. She'll be there tonight. Oh, God. Look, I don't think I'm gonna be able to make that one tonight. Come on, you can't keep blowing this thing off. I'm not. I've got an interview with the governor. I gotta be in Richmond at 8:00 in the morning. I almost forgot. McCallum's office called. They bumped the meeting till tomorrow night. Eddie, look, I... she's not Mary. Not by a mile. But you know what? No one everwill be. Hey, Ed. I'm sorry about today. I'm sure Gwen is very nice. Maybe some other time. It's about 1:00 in the morning. I'm a little wired, so I'm driving down to Richmond tonight. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye. Hi. I'm sorry. I know it's really late, but my car broke down just up the road. I wondered if I could use the phone. Hello. It's him. I been waitin' for you. You son of a $%#@. What are you doin'? Get the door! Get the door! Just stay right there. Mister, I don't know who you... -Shut up! Honey... Connie's here. Well, hey, Gordon. How you doin'? Okay, why don't you just... put down the gun and tell me what's going on here. Yeah. He's come around three nights in a row. This son of a bitch is stalking us. - I'm John Klein. My car broke down... - Let's let Gordon finish, Mr. Klein. Two nights ago... at 2:30 in the a.m. there's a bang on the door. I open it up, and here's this guy. He says he wants to use the phone. But there's something creepy about him... so I tell him to get lost. Last night at 2:30 on the dot, guess who's back. You're sure it was Mr. Klein here? I am absolutely positive. it's Mr. Klein. - Crazy. This is... - I am not crazy. - I didn't say that you... - So then what happened? I warned him off my property. I used the word "trespass", and he still came back. You're lucky I'm a Christian, because I had the right to shoot you on my porch. He'd have to been inside the house, Gordon. What? Fine. So tonight I figured the dumb %$# might come back, and sure enough, there he is. It´s Imposible. It wasn't me. I don't know what's happening here. Something's very wrong here. I don't know these people. I have never been here before. I'm from DC. Look. It's a wallet, okay? Wallet? I'm from DC. My name is John Klein. Washington Post? Yes. Yes. Can I get out of this shower now? You can wait for me outside, Mr. Klein. We'll run a check on him. Anyone else comes by, forget the gun. Just call me. Just find out what he wants. So, you didn't actually see the guy before tonight? No. But I heard the knocking. Three nights in a row. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'm gonna give you a ride into town, unless you wanna sleep in your car. I can call for a tow in the morning. You're a long way from DC. What are you doing here? Driving through. We're not on the way to anyplace, Mr. Klein. I recognize you. DC Review. - You watch that? - We're not all bumpkins. So I'm not under arrest? You didn't steal anything. You didn't hurt anybody. No breaking and entering. You've had trouble with him before? Gordy and Denise? No. They're good people. Things have just been a little strange around here lately. You still haven't told me what you're doing here in the middle of the night. I don't know. Where am I? Think you could show me where we are on the map here? We're right on the state line. With Ohio. - What time did you leave DC? 1:00 in the morning. If I was doing 80 the whole way, it would've taken me six hours to get here. - There's gotta be a logical explanation. - I don't know. By the way, don't worry about your pal the governor. I'll take care of it. Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Eddie. - So? - It's running fine, Mr. Klein. - Can't find a thing wrong with her. - Really? Strange. - All right, what do I owe you? Nothin. I said I can't find anything wrong with her. Mr. Smallwood. I just wanted to apologize for that misunderstanding we had last night. Are you sure it was me that came by the last couple of nights? Listen, mister. Connie called me. She told me that you check out, and that's good enough for me. I'm perfectly willing to let it go. But I don't drink anymore... and I don't lie. And as far as I know, I'm not crazy. So if you're accusing me... Look, here's the thing. I don't know how I ended up here last night. I didn't even know I was in West Virginia. Some how, between 1:00 and 2:30... I traveled 400 miles and ended up on that road by your house... and I've got no memory of it. And you call me crazy? I was afraid I'd see you here. Okay. You didn't show up. Too bad. I really wanted to know what I look like. Sergeant, I'm curious. Last night you said... things had been strange... around here lately. - What kind of things? You really don't want to know. Now I really need to know. Just your odd reports. People seeing things they can't explain, so they all come to me. 'Cause you're the cop. Because they know me. You know, if there are other people in this town... who are feeling as... confused as I am right now... I'd sure like to hear it. The past few months, people have been coming up to me... and reporting that they've been seeing strange things. I don't mean the town speed freak. I mean good, honest, church going people. I've known these folks my entire life... and they seem down right embarrassed to be bringing it up. Bringing what up? It's hard to explain. Weird lights. Strange phone calls, you. I heard a crack... A very strange sensation. Reds eyes. "As a moth". Lights and calls phone strange. You. Seeing a UFO is one thing. What do you do when someone tells you they saw this in their backyard? What is it? My wife died two years ago. She saw something. Drew pictures. Who showed you this? It was right here. There was only a foot or so Between its head and that branch. That makes it about... eight feet tall. Yeah. I was getting ready for bed and just. Happened to glance out the window. At first all I could see... were these two red eyes. I kept looking at it. I couldn't stop. I've never had that feeling before, like I couldn't move. And then I guess itjust... took off.. That may not make much sense, but it's... the only way I can put it into words. You didn't see it, did you? It started about two months ago. Every time I answered the phone I'd hear it. The first one was just a loud beeping noise. Now they're mostly. These creaking, howling sounds. They all like this? Well, once it was a man talking really fast. What'd he say? I couldn't make it out. Some foreign language. Have you had the line checked? I even had our number changed. But before I got a chance to give it out to anyone... the calls started again. It's not a question of believing them. Like I said, they're honest people. - How long you lived here? - My whole life. - I grew up right over that hill. - On a farm? Shucks, no. A real live house. Indoor plumbing and everything. Sorry. We even had shoes for church and schooling' and stuff. All right, all right. Where the hell are you? I'm still here. - West Virginia? Yeah. Yeah. Something's come up. You're kidding. Something of national interest in West Virginia? No, scientific. I'll tell you about it later. Cy's beginning to look rabid. Keep him at bay, okay? Are you okay? You sounda little stressed. No, I'm fine. I'll talk to you later. We were parked up here... and sort a making out in the back seat. And what happened next... is sort of hard to explain. Next day, I woke up and...both my... my eyes were swelled up. What did the doctors say? He couldn't explain it. See this one here? It ain't never healed. We're getting engaged. That's good. Yes, talk me? Talk me? - I gotta talk to you. - Okay. Mr. Klein. Hello. I want to speak with you. Ok. Last night I woke up... with the worst headache I've ever had in my life. I went into the bathroom. To get some aspirin... and I happened. To look in the mirror... and... I swear to God... I see something... I can't describe. But it sure as hell... is not my reflection. And then... I hear... this weird... howl... coming out of the sink. And there's a voice. It's a voice... and it's saying... "Do not be afraid. Ninety-nine will die. Denver Nine". I even wrote it down. He just keeps saying the same thing over and over for an hour... and then it stops. And when I wake up this morning I look at this piece of paper... }where I wrote down the words... and this thing is on it. I did not draw that. Denver 9. 99 they will die. - Gordon? - What? Gordon, you... your ear's bleeding. This CAT scan is clean, Gordon. No sign of any physical problem. Are you sure? Because this man's wife had a tumor. What you had, Gordon, was a first-class migraine. - I can write you a prescription. - That'd be good. - Thank you, Doctor. - There were other symptoms, Doc. He had hallucinations, heard voices. Aren't they both associated with glioblastoma? I see nothing here to suggest... something as exotic as glioblastoma, Mr. Klein... but if you'd like I can refer Mr. Smallwood to another neurologist... for a second opinion. - He's wrong. - No, that'd be fine. Thank you very much. ¡Gordon! Wait. Wait. He's not wrong. Nothing's wrong. Nothing's wrong. He's not wrong 'cause there's nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong. You go to a doctor with a bleeding ear. and he tells you you got a headache... Yes, well, you're not sick, so that is good news. I wish I was sick. Then I would know why this is happening. You shouldn't say things like that. You should not say that. What should I say, Denise? I'm hallucinating. I'm hearing voices. Was your wife hearing voices before she had her tumor? No. 13 News is headed to the scene, and we'll have a live report in minutes. Again our top story, Domain Air. Flight 9 out of Denver has crashed. An airline representative is expected to make a statement shortly. There is no confirmation... but all 99 passengers and crew members are believed dead. Wow, man. Could I speak to Alexander Leek, please? - This is Leek. - Mr. Leek, this is John Klein. I'm working on a pretty strange story. I was hoping you might be able to help me out. I'm particularly interested in your theories on precognition and prophecies. Anything you want to know is in the book. Yeah, but the... chapter that you have. on the entities you call... Were you contacted... or are you pretending to have a professional interest? Yeah... No. I'm a reporter for The Washington Post. Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Klein. I don't work in those areas anymore. I don't understand. To hear a voice is one thing... but this isn't just a message, it's a prediction. It came true. These things Gordon's having, are they dreams or hallucinations? The way he describes them, they sound like dreams. I don't know. He believes they're real. I had a dream like that. Yeah? It was nighttime... and I was in the middle of the ocean. I was trying to swim, but I was too cold. I kept looking... I kept looking for something... to hang on to. And there were presents... floating all around me. They were wrapped up. They were tied with bows. I tried to grab on to them, but they kept popping away. And then I started to sink... like a stone. There was nothing I could do. I was falling. But it felt good. I was letting go. I was letting myself go and... all I could see... was black... and all I could feel. was the darkness above me and the lights... coming from below. I knew I was dying. And then I heard this voice. like somebody whispering in my ear. "Wake up, number 37". "Wake up" And then I woke up. What do you think that means? Number 37? I have absolutely no idea. I met him. The guy who told me about the plane crash. You met him? Yeah. I met him. Last night, coming home from work about midnight. I'm driving past the cement plant... out bythe chemical factory. Right. Something happened. Bright... Lightning. Something encircles me. Everything's kind ofhot. I feel like I can't catch... catch my breath. He looked human. But there was just something... wrong about him. That's when I heard the voice. The same voice that I heard two nights ago. He said... "Do not be afraid. My name... is Indrid Cold". And he said to me... "In a place this size. Equator. Three hundred. Three hundred will die. Wait for me. I will return. I will see you in time". And that was it. Gordon, all that... It's a Iittle... Have a look. Earthquake in Ecuator. More than three hundred deads. She knew. I didn't see anything. You want to hear the chief's latest phone call? Yes, sure. $%# Yes? - Thank God you're there. - Gordon? I know I sounded crazy the other day, but things are getting weird out here. Slow down, Gordon. - He's here. - Who's here? Indrid Cold. He's standing right next to me. Get over to Gordon's right away. He says Indrid Cold is there. Gordon? let me talk to him. Sure. Hang on. Hello, John Klein. Who is this? My name is Indrid Cold. Unless, of course, you're Gordon Smallwood. Your father was born in Racine, Wisconsin. He lived in a green house on Monroe Street. You don't remember how your mother looked. Okay you got my attention. Where's my watch? - In your shoe. Under the bed. Very good, John. Thank you. What's in my hand? Chap Stick. You're reading my mind, aren't you? Did you read my mind? I have no need to, do I? What's the third line of page 51? "A broken smile beneath her whispered wings". Still more proof, John Klein? What do you look like? It depends on who's looking. I want to meet you. You already have, John. I have seen you afraid. You're afraid right now, aren't you? Can... can I ask you something? Why ask me what you already know, John? When? Why? What happened to my wife? You were there. Mary Klein cannot be found by looking. You will see her in time. Gordon! What's up, Connie? Everything okay? Did you just call John? No. I've been asleep since 9:00. Unless, of course, you're Gordon Smallwood. See? It's sticking up here around 1,950 cycles per second. But it never gets any lower than maybe 1,930 or so. But yours is way down here in the normal vocal range... anywhere between 1,000 and 1,200 cycles per second. Okay, so this guy's vocal range. is much higher than mine. What makes you think it's a man? Still more proof, John Klein? He was not the looked for element. What is it? Near as I can tell, it's... an electrical impulse. But whatever it is, it's not coming from human vocal cords. Why ask me what you already know, John? What happened to my wife? You were there. Mary Klein cannot be found by looking. You will see her in time. Precognition: The capacity to see the future. It is not characteristic of you, John This isn't like you. We used to rip on this stuff. when it came over the wire. Yeah, I know. - It's different when it happens to you. - Do me a favor.Talk to Cyrus today. Tell him you got the flu. Any excuse. It is not characteristic of you, John This isn't like you. We used to rip on this stuff. when it came over the wire. Yeah, I know. - It's different when it happens to you. - Do me a favor.Talk to Cyrus today. Tell him you got the flu. Any excuse. I'll back you up. I just wanna make sure you still got a job... when you're done doing whatever it is you're doing down there. Okay, I'll call you from Chicago. What time is your flight? 8:00 a.m. Am I crazy? No. I am crazy. Alexander Leek. - Who the hell are you? -John Klein. I called you last week. Do you know what that is? Stay away. I need to know what this is. Tell me. Where are they seeing it? Point Pleasant, West Virginia. You can help me. Follow me. "The nocturnal butterfly." In ancient cultures, the moth represents a form of the psyche... or the soul... immortally trapped... in the hellish death realms. Mothman. That's what the Ukranians called him. Rough translation, of course. There were 100 sightings in Chernobyl the year the nuclear plantwent down. Galveston, 1969, just before the hurricane. They saw it. But seeing isn't always believing. Look, there's never been a single shred of evidence... to show that these things exist materially. So you're telling me these things do not exist? Oh, they exist. All kinds of things exist around us that we never see. Electricity microwaves, infrared waves. You know, these things have been around forever. They show up in cave paintings. They're a normal condition ofthe planet. They're just not part of our consensus of what constitutes... physical reality. What are they part of, then? You're asking for an explanation for something... that can't be explained rationally. You know the buildup of energy before something happens? The way your hair stands up before lightning strikes? "Before something happens". Do you mean they cause disasters? Why would they need to? All right, then... are they trying to warn me? Their motivations... aren't human. All right then what do they want? I have no idea. What you really want is to know... why you? Yes. You noticed them and they noticed that you noticed them. Most people aren't sensitive enough to see them... without some kind of... trauma. What happened toyou, Mr. Klein? Last week my friend got a strange phone call from an entity... a spirit, whatever. It seemed to know everything. Like God? And made predictions. - It made predictions that came true? - Yes. His name was Indrid Cold. It's perception, John. They appear differently to everyone. A voice, a light, a man, a monster. If your friend thinks it's God he spoke. to, he's off by more than a few degrees. Then how do you explain that it knows everything? Look at that. If there was a car crash 10 blocks away, that window washer could likely see it. That doesn't mean he's God... or even smarter than we are. But from where he's sitting... he can see a little further down the road. I think we can assume that... these entities are more advanced than us. Why don't they just come right out and tell us what's on their minds? You're more advanced than a cockroach. Have you ever tried explaining yourself to one of them? How many people have seen it? Ten. Twenty, maybe. Listen to me. Something terrible is going to happen in Point Pleasant. Don't go back. Stay away. I can't talk about this anymore. Mr. Leek. There is a reason... that I ended up in Point Pleasant. Something brought me there. Whatever brought you there... brought you there to die. You're just in time. They're just about to light this Christmas tree. They have been for the last two hours. Isn't that Denise? Is she okay? She left Gordon. He got fired from the chemical plant. Just stopped coming to work one day. Where is he? Who knows? Be back in a second. Connie. What's wrong? Fifteen more people reported seeing that thing today. Fifteen. Three of them were cops. I hate this, John. I absolutely %$#@ hate this. How was Chicago? What did he say? He wouldn't see me. %$@ Gordon. You all right? -Eh, hello. -Hello. It's cold. Get in the car, warm up. I can't. I'm waiting for him. Everybody in this town is looking at me like I'm insane. You know why? Gordon, I... Denise and... all the others, they don't know, John.I do. I don't think you're crazy, Do you hear me? You talked to him too, John. You know... I've been lying awake at night. I feel... like I'm sleeping... but I'm awake. That's when I hear him. And lately, when I hear him... all at once... I understand, everything. I understand, everything. John do you remember the last time you were happy? It's real. These things are real. John. I want you to be happy. What? This is your wake-up call, Mr. Klein. I didn't ask for a wake-up call. What happened to you, Mr. Klein? Yes. I can't believe I got through. Gordon, where are you, man? Speak up. Listen, John, he was right. Mr. Cold was right about everything. Right? Right about what? I can't hear you. He was right about understanding. It's real, John. I want you to know. It's real What is... What are you talking about? You've got nothing to worry about. I'll see you in time. Gordon? Gordon! Can they tell how long he was out there? Looks like he's been dead about eight hours. He died of exposure. What made you come out here? - He called me. - When? I didn't like the way he sounded. When did he call you, John? About an hour ago. I can't stand this. John! It didn't seem right to bring this up at the funeral... but as far as I know there's never been any accidents at the chemical plant. I don't know what you're talking about. I got your message the other day. I meant to call you back, but I forgot. Don't you remember leaving me that message? Chief, this is John Klein. I didn't call him. No, it's not me. I analyzed both tapes with the voice print. I don't care. It may be my voice. It's not me. Listen to me. I would swear in a court of law that that's your voice. Yeah, great. Thanks. $%#! Regular coffee to go, please. Seventy-five cents. Have a great day. Do you know that woman? - What woman? - She just left. You didn't see her? - No. - That's strange. She had long red hair, green eyes, real pretty, and she was asking about you. John? - Did you see which way she went? - No. - What did she say? - She asked a lot of strange questions. What are you doing here? And she asked if you were happy. - What did you say? - I asked her for some ID. - Did she give you any? - No. She just said "Tell John I'm sorry for ruining everything", and then she left. What's wrong? Was it her? Was it her? That's your wife? It was her. - I'm not sure. - What? I mean, the hair is different. - Oh, come on! - What? This is the woman you saw. - No, it isn't, John. Now, I agree there is a similarity... Bullshit! John, it's all right. I'm not all right. This is the woman you saw. She was here. This woman. Don't you do this to me. I'm sorry, John. I feel like I've ruined everything. I feel like I've ruined everything. I'm so sorry. I need to know what happened to you. Please. Come in. I was a physics professor at Cornell. Tenured. You can look me up. One day... I started hearing voices. The voices became messages. Before long, I was fully convinced that I was receiving... predictions of disaster from outside intelligences. But you were, weren't you? John, I had tapes of their voices. I knew a building was going to blow up, and I tried to prevent it... but no one listened. What happened? People died. Many people died. I was investigated, almost arrested. My wife divorced me. My kids... stopped speaking to me. Do you know what four years in. a psychiatric hospital can do to you? You lose everything. Everything... Oh, you'll never understand their messages. You'll misinterpret them. I did. It almost destroyed me. In the end, it all came down to just... one simple question. Which was more important... having proof... or being alive? Trust me. I turned away years ago... and I've never looked back. Didn't you need to know? We're not allowed to know. Do say? It's me, Cyrus. John, is that you? Yeah, it's me. Whatever you are doing, you drop it. Governor McCallum is going to Charleston. Then he's touring that chemical plant in Point Pleasant today. Now, I want you to go down there... and meet him at the airport. You listening? Yeah, McCal I um at the chemical plant. Got it. I need to know that you're gonna be there. John, are you there? Ohio. Great tragedy on the River Ohio. Great tragedy on the River Ohio. I can't call in sick just because you have a bad feeling about today. Just think about this. Gordon saw weird lights in the sky. They show up over the chemical plant. Josh gets a call from me, but it's not really me. I'm talking about something bad happening at the chemical plant. Then I get this message from this Indrid Cold... who's talking about a great tragedy on the Ohio River. Guess what's on the Ohio River. The chemical plant. Today Governor McCallum is gonna be there. I was on myway to interview him. That's how I ended... That's how I ended up here. My God. That's why I'm here. He was right. Who was right? You saw Leek. - He was part of the warning. - What? He was part of the warning. Stop, stop, stop. I didn't want to scare you. He said... He said the messages are real. Something terrible is gonna happen. Connie, please. We have to leave here now. I will not live my life like that. I will not make decisions based on messages from Indrid Cold. He may be real to you. He's not real to me. Okay, I'm going to Charleston. I'll be at the Marriott.Get yourself reassigned. I don't want you anywhere near the plant today. What if nothing happens? What if there's no great tragedy? What'll you do then? - That's not the point. - Well, I think it is the point. - Gordon believed what he heard too. - I am not Gordon! I know. I know what's gonna happen. You have to leave now. I have to report to work. We can talk about this later. - Governor? - Good to see you, John. I need to speak with you. It's urgent. - What's this about, John? - It's the tour. You can't do it. You can't go. Listen to me. Cancel it. Cancel the tour. Cancel it. Make them shut down the plant now. The plant's gonna blow up while you're there. Where are the cops? What are they doing? - They don't know yet. Have you received a bomb threat? I didn't say anything about a bomb. There's a source. - I know this sounds... - You're messing up here, John. Get me Cyrus Bills at the Post. Our top story takes us tonight to Point Pleasant... - where Virginia Governor McCallum... - Turn it up! Russ McCallum and the governor Harris toured the Edgewater Petrochemical plant. In what he's called a successful review... Governor McCallum has given high marks to this petrochemical plant. they have been a success and has dedicated big praises. He is expected to call for similar renovations... at several Virginia plants. WOWK-TV 13... has an exclusive look inside at what the governor saw. Son of a %$#@. I congratulate my friends at Edgewater Petrochemical... on a job well done. - Success here at Point Pleasant... - Excuse me, Mr. Klein. You have a message. Come in. Mary will call.Georgetown Friday. Later -¿John? -Came in. Hello. Hello. - Back to Washington? - Yeah. - Do you have to go? - I have to go. John. - If this is about today... - No, it's not. I got a message. I have to go home. I have to be there noon on Friday. John, do you realize what's happening to you? I have to go. Hello. Hey, it's me. - Connie? - Yeah. I thought we could chat for, say, 10 or 15 minutes. John. - I'm sorry. Can I call you back? - No,you can't. - I booked you a flight. - What? It leaves Dulles for Columbus, Ohio at 1:45. I tried to get you on the one to Charleston, but they're all booked up. So if you leave now, you'll just make it. I can't. I can't. It's Christmas Eve, John. You shouldn't be alone. I can't. Yeah, you can. You know... when Mary got sick... I couldn't help thinking... this isn't real. I can stop this. I know I can. I can stop this. No one can stop it, John. Listen to me. Planes are going to crash. Earthquakes are going to happen. People you know and love are going to die... and no matter what that voice tells you... there's nothing you can do about it. It's two years to the day. He told me that she's goi ng to call. He said that Mary's going to call. He's lying. Whoever calls maysound like her... but it's not gonna be her. I don't know what happens to us after we die... but I'll bet you wherever Mary is now... she's nowhere near Indrid Cold. What if it is her? She's dead, John. The only important question now is how do you want to remember her? I miss her so much. I know you do. Of course you do. But, John, listen... you can miss her here just as easily as there. Even more easily because there, you're all alone. And that's just no way to be. You do whatever you need to do... and I'll understand. But here, we have dinner at 6:00... and we open presents at 8:00. And we hope we see you. Okay? Bye,John. WJMP time is 5:51 on this chilly Christmas Eve. Come on. - You know what's going on down there? - Some problem with the traffic lights. $%#@ Great tragedy on the River Ohio. My God. Get off the bridge! Everyone's gotta get off the bridge! Get off! Everyone get out of your cars and get off! C.J. come on! You've gotta get off. Turn the $% thing down. - What? - You gotta get off the bridge now! - Get out! Get out! - Let's go! Get out of the car! Get off the bridge! Quick! Let's get out! Get out! Come on. Get out. All units, this is unit 64. Signal 33 on the Silver Bridge. Rose, do you copy? Signal 33 on the Silver Bridge... Wake up. Wake up. Here we go.You are here. I didn't know if I was dreaming or... I left DC right after you called. You did call me, right? Yeah. Yeah, I called. John. - How bad is it? - It's bad. But I supposed it could've been a lot worse. Are they done with the search? Thirty-six. Looks like about 36 people. Jesus. Thirty-six? Thirty-six? Wake up, number 37. Wake up The definitive cause was never determined of the landslide of the Silver Bridge. Although the appearances have continued in the entire world, the Mothman was never seen in Point Pleasant again. Previously on CSI: I don't remember what happened. You where framed. Gedda has a mole on the department. A cop? Daniel Pritchard. We're looking for somebody higher up than that. I just need to know that you are through running the streets by you're own looking for bad guys. This one son of a bitch is still out there and I promise you we're gonna get him. That's what makes you a great CSI. Cetral dispatch, go ahead. Control, this is One-David-Two. I have a 444. Officer down in the alley north of the 800 block of Rayson Street. Requesting three backup units and paramedics. I am in pursuit of the suspect. Suspect is a white male, possibly armed, wearing dark clothing, traveling southbound toward Malpassat Road. Officer down. Repeat. Officer down. Alley north of 800 block of Rayson Street. Units four-five-one, four-five-six and four-five-seven, respond code three. Officer down in the alley north of Rayson Street. All officers respond. Warrick... Oh, God! Stay with me! Warrick... It's Grissom. I was first on the scene. Heard the shots. I was in pursuit of the suspect. What? No, Warrick, come on. Come on, Warrick! Where are the paramedics? ! Please. Please. Come on, Warrick. You got to fight. I need you to fight now. Fight for me, okay? Give me an ETA on the paramedics. We need them here now. No... No, come on. No. Capture: FRM@·ëε Sync: FRS@annagaox x264 Sync + missing subs: dookie I was on my way to the diner. I was going to tell Warrick in person that he could keep his job. I parked my car over there just before 4:30. I started to walk west towards the diner. I was in this area here when I heard the shots. I saw a white adult male running north down the alley away from the vehicle. I checked the vehicle-- observed CSI Brown bleeding from a gunshot wound. It appeared to me he was dead. So I went in pursuit of the suspect and called it in. He got into a dark four-door sedan. Late model. Headed east on Malpassat Road. I got a partial on the plate, George-Robert-Victor. George-Robert-Victor... George-Robert-Victor- Zebra-9-0-3? That's Officer Pritchard's car. - Was it a black Chrysler 300? - Uh... Was it Pritchard you saw? I only saw him for a second. It was dark, but... but who else could it be? Okay. Have you photoed the body yet? What topic? Your sexual orientation. My sexual orientation? Yes, your sexuality. If you like men or women. When you came to see me, you said you were still a virgin. Well... To answer your question in some way, I think I'm oriented more towards men. Was that why you came to see me? I can't remember now. I guess so. But I'm fine now. Do you have a partner? More or less. I'm not alone anymore. That isn't a problem now. I hope my question didn't annoy you. No, no, not at all. Was her father here? Yes. Heasked meifiwasafaggot. You're kidding! Well, he used the American expression, it's more subtle. What was my orientation? What did you say? That I'm into men. Really? No, silly, I lied to him. How dare he ask me jf I like men or women? Who cares? Well, I'm glad to know. Did he ask the head nurse if she's a dyke? Did he ask you if you like bestiality or coprophagy? No, you're right. You don't ask things like that. I may have to travel, so I can't come and see you every week. But, in Geneva, they've offered me a creation, a choreography, and that thrills me, I've got an old idea for a ballet. It's called "Trenches". It's about World War I. Problem. You need lots of male dancers because in the war, sorry, there are lots of soldiers. But in Geneva everyone dances. It's wonderful. There are also ballerinas because in the ballet when a soldier dies from his body emerges his soul, his ghost, and that's a ballerina. Long tutu, white like the "willis" in "Giselle", classical, but with blood stain, red. That's lovely. Yes. Alicia's loving it. Lovely, because from death emerges life. From the male emerges the female. Of course. From the earth emerges... The... The... tree? No. From the earth emerges... The... flowers? No. The ethereal. The ethereal, the impalpable, the ghostly. Of course. And I've got the music. By Penderesky. It's for the victims of Hiroshima, World War II, but no matter. Of course not. And anyway Alicia remembers it perfectly. That's the music for the battle. It's brutal. And for the music for the deaths, I've got a masterpiece that you're going to hear right now. You're going to flip out. Alicia, my dear, farewell. Oh... dear... Take care. You take care too, Katerina. Though you look gorgeous. "Trenches" must be made. And I shall. Take care of her. Of course. Look. ;0] We'll put this by the window. So you can watch your friends dancing across the street. And look. I love this room. I'm going to order the whole lot. And... Come in and close the door. How are you? Sit down. Thank you. Alicia, look who's here. We're just getting some air, reading magazines... Who was that woman who just left? Katerina, Alicia's teacher. Her teacher? Yes, her dancing teacher. Katerina's a real character. Her academy is in front of my house. Alicia was her pupil. And Katerina loves her like a daughter. FOUR YEARS EARLIER Benigno, you've been at the window for half an hour. I'm coming, Mom. Are you following me? No... Well, yes. And? I think this is yours. You must have dropped it. Thank you. Is everything there? Yes. I didn't touch anything. Thank you. Where are you going? Home. May I walk you there? I've got nothing to do. Yes, but I'm going home. Yes, of course. Good. I couldn't live without dancing. And I love watching it. Do you like dancing? I guess so. Well, yes. But I've never gone to see anything. What else do you do, besides dancing? I love traveling, and I go to the Cinematheque a lot to see films. Recently I've discovered silent cinema. It's my favorite. Silent cinema? Yes. What do you do when you go out? I don't go out. You must go out sometime. I was looking after my mother, but she died two months ago. I'm sorry. My mother died too, but a long time ago. Well, we're here. Thanks for the wallet. Dr. Roncero. Psychiatrist. 7th Left. Twenty three. The day I spent waiting at the window was the day she wouldn't come. But I knew her address and that her father was a psychiatrist. Dr. Roncero's office. I'd like to make an appointment. Does tomorrow at 5:00 suit you? Can't it be sooner? No, tomorrow at 5:00. All right. Your name? What's up? I've got an appointment at 5:00. Come in. Don't stand there! Excuse me. Benigno Martin? Yes. I have to get some details. I just wanted to see Alicia again, but as I was there and her father was a psychiatrist I decided to tell him I missed my mother. The last fifteen years, you said? Yes. I started when I was very young. And during those fifteen years you did nothing but look after your mother? I never left her side. Well, I studied to be a nurse so I had to go out to attend classes. I also studied beauty therapy, makeup and hairdressing, but by mail. You mean you did your mother's makeup and her hair? Of course, and I cut her hair, dyed it, did her nails and I scrubbed her down well, front and back. My mother wasn't disabled, or mad. She was just a bit lazy, you know? My mother was beautiful and I didn't want her to let herself go. What did your father say? Nothing, what could he say? Is he dead? Heavens, no. He's living in Sweden. I guess, because... I haven't heard from him in ages. Doesn't he come to see you? No. He formed another family a long time ago, when he left my mother. We're not in touch. Why have you come to see me? Me? None. What's your problem? You must have one if you've come to see a psychiatrist. Loneliness, I guess. Have you had sexual relations with a woman? No. Or with a man? No. I'd like to see you next week. Am I not well? No, it isn't that, but... Your adolescence was what we might call special. It wasn't that special. It was. Very special. Well, whatever you say. And we should analyze it more deeply. Yes, we'll analyze it. So I'll come back next week? Excellent. My pleasure. Goodbye. Goodbye. What are you doing here? I was just leaving. Don't freak out. I just wanted to see you. But I'm harmless. Dr. Roncero's office. Hi, Lola. I've just taken an elephantsized dump. One and two and three. Forward and hold. Can you take over? Alicia never came back. I didn't want to scare her again, so I didn't go to her house until a week later, when I had to see her father. It rained all week. The next time I saw her was here. What happened to her? A car accident on one of those rainy days. Her father didn't want her to be alone for a minute, day or night. He asked for the best nurses, I've got a very good reputation here, and they recommended me. When he saw me, he remembered that we'd met and he'd a moment of doubt, but he ended up hiring Matilde and me exclusively. That was four years ago. And here we are. Right, Alicia? I started going to the ballet on my days off. And to the Cinematheque. I try to see all the silent movies. German, American, everything. Then I tell her all I've seen. These last four years have been the richest in my life. Looking after Alicia, doing the things she liked to do, except traveling, of course. For me, it's the opposite with Lydia. How come? I can't even touch her. I don't recognize her body. I can't even help the nurses to turn her over in the bed. And I feel so despicable. Talk to her. Tell her that. I'd like to, but she can't hear me. Why are you so sure about that? Because her brain is turned off. A woman's brain is a mystery, and in this state even more so. You havetopayattention to women, talk to them, be thoughtful occasionally. Caress them. Remember they exist, they're alive and they matter to us. That's the only therapy. I know from experience. What experience have you had with women? Benigno, what experience have you had with women? What? What experience have you had with women? Me? A lot. I lived 20 years day and night with one and 4 years with this one. I love the bullfighter's boyfriend. I bet you anything he's well hung. How do you know? Did you see him? You want a cookie? Of course not. You can tell from a guy's face. And especially from his crotch. I've got a sixth sense. He's friendly with Benigno, isn't he? Yes. He isn't a faggot too, is he? No way. Are you nuts? Are you insinuating Benigno's a faggot? I'm not. It's vox populi, honey. You're very wrong. Dr. Vega confirmed it for me. How would he know? Alicia's father told him. I don't approve of him being so intimate with the patient, but Dr. Vega told me not to worry. Benigno doesn't like women, he's into men. My God! I'll leave so you can carry on pulling him to bits. The poor thing likes Benigno. Good choice, sweetie. Hey. Hey, Benigno. I'm free tonight. I'm going to the Cinematheque. Want to come? I'm meeting my editor. I'll have to go back to work soon. This woman isn't well. Benigno, please. You know what I mean. Her skin's really dry. Let's see. Here it is. Have you talked to her? No, and don't go on about it. Goodbye, Lydia. You have to be patient with him. Work hard. "Shrinking Lover". Rosa's got the flu. I hope she didn't give it to you. I'm glad you're feeling well. Even so, I'll give you a massage, and a rubdown with rosemary alcohol. No, I'm all right. Last night I saw a film... that disturbed me. It was a love story, between Aif redo, who's a bit overweight, like me, but a nice guy, and Amparo, his girlfriend, who's a scientist. Amparo is working on an experimental diet formula that will revolutionize the world of nutrition. You're selfish. You only think of yourself. I've got it! It could be dangerous. I still haven't tested it on humans. Do you still think I'm selfish? It's done wonders for you! Don't worry, my love! I'll find the antidote! But time went by. Despite her efforts, Amparo couldn't find the antidote and poor Aif redo was shrinking daily. I'll always love you. To stop her suffering Aifredo left. He abandoned Madrid and went back to his mother whom he hadn't seen in 10 years, because she was terrible. He hadn't even told Amparo where she lived. Alot of things happen in the film. But what's important is that after years of remorse and study Amparo finds the address of Aifredo's mother. And she turns up there. Hotel Youkali, Room No 15. Sleep, my love. What if I squash you when I move? And Aif redo stays inside her... forever. A MONTH LATER Come on, put your hands right. That's it. It's so cool here. It's wonderful! It's lovely out on the terrace, isn't it? And Lydia likes being out on the terrace, don't you, Lydia? You heard her, she loves it. Look at them. It's like they were talking about us. What do you think they'd talk about? Women tell each other everything. Lydia would tell her it's two months today since she was gored. Benjamin and Angela, do you come here of your own free will to be united in matrimony? Yes, we do. That being so, as you wish to be united in holy matrimony, join hands and declare your consent before God and His Church. I, Angela, take you, Benjamin, as my husband, and I give myself to you, and I promise to be faithful to you, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, all the days of my life. May the Lord, who caused this love to grow in you, confirm this mutual consent you have stated before His Church. What God has joined together, let no man pull asunder. What are you doing here? We were to meet at the hotel. I changed my mind. I've always liked weddings. Weren't you to see your sister before the fight? I called her, she'll be at the hotel. I had to promise we'd have supper at her bar tonight. Whatever you say. A lovely ceremony, isn't it? Beautiful. Ididn't think she was so young. I guess you came because you didn't trust me. I came because we can't go another day without talking. You needn't worry. It's over with Angela. I've got proof. During the ceremony I didn't cry. But you did. That's true. And you needn't. Don't you believe me? It isn't that. It took me ten years to get over it, but I swear it's over. Marco... Believe me, it's over. Angela and I traveled a lot. The excuse was to write a travel guide on some exotic place, but really it was to keep her away from drugs, to escape from Madrid. Life in Madrid was hell. Our relationship only worked when we got away. After trying for five years and seven travel guides, I brought her here to Lucena, to her parents. They kept her away from drugs and from me. You still loved her? Yes. I'd cry when I saw something that moved me because I couldn't share it with her. There's nothing worse than leaving someone you still love. What a sad story. Love is the saddest thing when it goes away, as a song by Jobim goes. We have to talk after the fight. We've been talking for an hour. You. Not me. You're right. The doctor said it would take two months for my leg to heal. But you knowwhat? I'm glad the bull gored me. Now Ican staywith you until you awake, my love No one will take me away from you. We'd gotten back together a month before. Lydia was to tell you at the wedding, but when I saw you in the ICU I knew she hadn't. It was you she was crying for. She rang to tell me she'd cried thinking of me. It was the last time we spoke. As I'm injured, I won't be fighting for a while. I'd like to stay with her these nights. Make yourself at home. Thank you. Hello, Alicia. I'm alone again. Admit it, you were looking at her breasts. It's hard not to, they're getting bigger. I'm thinking of going away. How come? I have to work. What about Lydia? She doesn't need me anymore. Have you split up? You could say that. Believe me. I could see it coming. Don't ask me how, but I did. There was something in your relationship, forgive me, that didn't work. When are you leaving? Very soon, but I'll see you before. I hope so. I'm sorry you're going. Hey, Rosa. Hey, Marco. I'm off. Benigno, see you soon. Yes. Rosa, goodbye. good bye. Has her period come yet? Not yet. Going by last month's nursing report it should have come. Yes, it is a bit late. It's over two weeks. That's too much. Are you sure she had one last month? I put the towel on her myself. It was the week you had flu. She even seems swollen. Yes, but at times they can be irregular. Lydia's periods have stopped. You're right. But I think we should tell Dr. Vega. Hey! Benigno. Hey! I brought some of my travel guides for Alicia and you. Thank you. I've said goodbye to Lydia. OCR failed! but Dr. Vega and the head nurse were there and I wasn't allowed in. Is anything wrong? No, I think Alicia has got an infection. Can you take me home? I'm off duty. I hope it isn't serious. I don't know. They're doing some tests but they won't tell me anything either. Abidjan, the Yemen, Brazil, Turkey, Cuba. I'll read them to Alicia at night. They're just travel guides. You wrote them, they must be special. Are you going alone? Yes. I wanted to talk to you about that before you leave. About what? Loneliness. I want to get married. Married? Who to? To Alicia, of course! You're crazy! We get along better than most married couples. Why shouldn't a man want to marry the woman he loves? Because the woman is in a coma! Because Alicia can't say with any part of her body: "I do!" Because we don't know if vegetative life is really life! Get in the car. How can you say that? Get in the car! Your relationship with Alicia is a monologue and it's insane. I'm not saying talking's no use but people talk to plants and they don't marry them! I can't believe you're saying that. I thought you were different. Promise you won't mention it again, or even think about it! Promise me! Why? If you say that to anyone else, you'll be in big trouble, and I won't be there to help you. If it'll make you happier, I promise. However much we like her... Do you like her too? Of course, how couldn't I? She likes you too. Benigno, Alicia is practically dead! She can't feel anything for anybody, not for you, not for me, not even for herself! Get that into your head! Our patient Alicia Roncero has been raped and is pregnant. I haven't told her father yet because first you're going to tell me what bastard did that in my clinic. Sir, we all feel extremely concerned. You should be feeling responsible. Alicia was on your floor. Then let me be the one to explain the situation. Rosa, please... Alicia's periods stopped two months ago. At first, I thought it was only one month but I was mistaken. That isn't mentioned in last month's report. In fact, it says you put the towel on her as always. That week I was off again with the flu. You wrote it, didn't you, Benigno? It's your writing. Yes, it was me. Why did you falsify the notes? I didn't want to cause any alarm. It isn't the first time a patient's periods have stopped. That's true. Why did no one notice? Where's the nurse who did nights? Matilde? She called, she can't come in today. Didn't she notice anything odd? Matilds having family problems. Many nights she can't come in. And who stands in for her? Benigno. Am Ito tell her father his daughter is in this retard's hands day and night? Please! Let's calm down here. I don't know if you realize you are the main suspect. Why did you hide her first missed period? I'm sure you've got an explanation. You're incapable of harming Alicia. You can be sure of that. Then... Last night, I was in the parking lot and heard a conversation between Benigno and Marco. Benigno said he wanted to marry Alicia. Mr. Zuloaga tried to dissuade him, but Benigno wouldn't listen, he was very upset. He also said he knew a lot of married couples who didn't get along half as well as he and Alicia. JORDAN, EIGHT MONTHS LATER Lydia Gonzalez was buried yesterday, April 13, in the Almudena cemetery. The 33 year old bullfighter, daughter of Antonio Gonzalez, had been in a coma since... "The Forest" Clinic. May I speak to Benigno Martin? He's on the 2nd floor. He doesn't work here anymore. Excuse me, miss... Are you sure? Absolutely. And nurse Rosa? Who's calling? Marco Zuloaga. I'll put you through. To get a referral slip stamped? Along the corridor, Administration. Who is it? It's Marco Zuloaga. Marco. I'm calling from Jordan. I read that Lydia died. Yes, that's right. I'm so sorry, Marco. I would like to have been told. We've had so many problems here. What's going on? They said Benigno doesn't work there anymore. Benigno's in jail. In jail? Why? He's accused of raping Alicia. What are you talking about? Try to help him. The poor guy's got nobody. Have you been to see him? Me? After what he's done, I can't. But he needs help and you're his friend. All right. What jail is he in? It's in Segovia. Wait here for me, please. Hello. Hello. I'd like to see an inmate. That's in Visitations, through that door to the left. Thank you. May I help you? I'd like to see the inmate Benigno Martin. This isn't a visitor's day, but let me see. I'm sorry, I can't hear you. I'm sorry. This isn't a visitor's day. and what's more, the intern hasn't requested a visit. He doesn't know I'm in Madrid. I arrived yesterday. Are you a relative? No, I'm a friend. My name is Marco Zuloaga. May I see your ID, please? Yes, of course. Can I phone him? You can't phone him, but he can phone you. My number's changed. Can you give him the new one? Of course. Thank you. Great. You should remember that visitor's days are Saturday and Sunday. But it's the intern who has to request the visit. If he doesn't want to see you, we can't do anything. He'll want to see me. By the way, we don't have inmates here, we have... I can't hear you. I'm sorry. We don't have inmates here, we have interns. Goodbye, and thank you. 627... Wait. ... 9 6... ... 6 1... . ... o 9. No, 9. Fuck. 627... Hello? Marco, is that you? Yes, Benigno. It's great to hear you. I've requested your visit. I'll see you Saturday. All right. Where are you? Outside the clinic. Dr. Vega told me everything. How could you, Benigno? You haven't come back to freak out on me? No. Do you need anything? I need information. How's Alicia? The staff is forbidden to talk to me. She's in another clinic, they don't know where. I don't believe that. Neither do I, but I'm not surprised they won't tell us. Hey man, are you still my friend? Of course, whom do you think I'm here for? Then find out what's happened to Alicia. If she's alive, if she had a baby, if it's alive... I need to know. You understand, don't you? Yes. I'll tryto find out. See you Saturday. Did you find out anything? Not yet, but I will. Be patient. I was patient until the baby was due, but that was a month ago. You have to keep waiting. Fuck! What do you do here all day? I work in the sick bay. The jail is new, so there aren't many people. It's very quiet. From outside, it doesn't look like a jail. Forget the jail! My problem is not seeing Alicia. The medical officer and Alicia's father say I'm a psychopath. Yeah, a psychopath. They say it's good for the trial, but I don't give a shit about that. I need to see Alicia and find out how it all ended. If this goes on, I'm capable of doing anything. They say I'm a psychopath? Well, I'll behave like one. Don't say that, please! And get me another lawyer. The one I've got practically throws up on me when he looks at me. OK. I'll tell the concierge to give you my keys. Rent it out and that'll pay the lawyer. I'll rent it, because mine has been rented out too. Great. I like that you're my tenant. I've been thinking a lot about you, especially at night. Why at night? Because I read at night. I've read all your travel guides. It was like traveling for months with you at my side, telling me things no one tells you on journeys. My favorite is the one on Havana. I really identified with those people who've got nothing and invent everything. When you describe that Cuban woman leaning out a window by the "Malecon" waiting uselessly, seeing how time passes and nothing happens... I thought that woman was me. Good morning, ma'am. I'm Benigno's friend. Are you Marco, the Argentinean? Yes. I'm the concierge. Benigno rang to tell me you'd be renting the apartment. That's right. It'll beverydirty, because he strictly forbade me to go in and clean it. I wasn't going to charge him a cent, but... Don't worry, I'll take care of that. Shall I give you the key? Yes. I'll see if I can find it. Have you seen him? Yes. And how is he? Fine. The poor thing didn't even have any luck in jail. He got very little publicity. Not one lousy television came here, nor one lousy paparazzi. With all the trashy shows there are, not one bothered to come and interview me. It's sad the state of the "massesmedia" in this country. Yes, you're right. The keys... Oh, yes. Thank you. By the way, do you know why Benigno is in jail? He's so quiet, the last time he came he didn't say a word. Benigno is innocent. Of course. But innocent of what? I don't know. Of course you do, but you don't want to tell me. But I'll get it out of you. All right. So long, ma'am. If you need anything, you know where I am. OK, thanks. Iwas so thrilled, Alicia, to see you coming in alone today, just with canes, on your own. Did you see? Howwas rehab today? Very good. Are you tired? Yes, very. Doesn't matter. We'll do some additional exercices. We'll do some leg stretches. I've done 100 today already. We'll do just a few more. Good morning. I'm here to see Mr. Sanz. Come in. Thank you. The fetus was born dead. It was a boy. But Alicia woke up. Benigno should be told. Given his mental state, I think not. He could do something crazy. But Icant lie to him. I'm his only friend, he trusts me. I'll do it. It's not a dilemma for me. I'll tell him that Alicia is still in a coma and the baby is dead. But you must promise me that you'll say nothing. What about bail? It'll be very difficult, and expensive. But we can try. Number eight. You got wet. A bit. Don't catch a cold. When you get home, have a glass of hot milk, with some honey. I will. I like rainy days since I've been here. Have you seen the new lawyer? Yes. He was here. He told me everything. I'm screwed, right? To be honest, yes. At least Alicia wasn't affected by the birth. It's the only thing that consoles me and gives me hope. Are you all right? I'd like to be able to hug you. But I'd have to ask for a visavis. I checked it out, y'know? They asked if you were my boyfriend. I didn't dare to say yes, in case it bothered you. It doesn't bother me at all. You can say what you want. I've hugged very few people in my life. A message... Marco, I wanted to tell you how glad I was to see you today and be able to say goodbye. You know they won't let me out of here. Or it'll only be to lock me up somewhere else. I don't want to live in a world without Alicia, a place where I can't even have her hairclip with me. So I've decided to escape. ldidn't tell you, so you wouldn't worry or try to stop me. A big hug, Marco. Taxi! To Segovia. Segovia? Yes, to the jail. The jail? Yes. I need to see Benigno Martin urgently. I know it's irregular but it's a matter of life or death. The Director is waiting for you in his office. For me? Where's his office? The officer will accompany you. This way. On the right. Empty your pockets, please. Hey, wait, don't run! Wait. It's there. At the end. Good morning. I'm Marco Zuloaga. Benigno Martin left this letter for you. Dear Marco, It's still raining. I think it's a good omen. When Alicia had her accident it was raining. I'm writing minutes before I escape. I hope that all I've taken is enough to put me in a coma and reunite me with her. You're my only friend. I'm leaving you the house I prepared for Alicia and me. Wherever they take me, come and see me, and talk to me. Tell me everything, don't be so secretive. Farewell, my friend. These objects were taken from him and these are the personal belongings found in his cell. You have to sign here. Sir? You have to sign here. Benigno, it's me. Alicia is alive. You woke her up. When I heard your message, I raced back to the jail to tell you, but Iwas too late. I put Alicia's hairclip in your pocket. And I also put in a photo of her and one of your mother, so that they'll be with you for all eternity. Waves. Cruel waves. The male below, the female above. I find water. You sit down. Are you all right? Yes. I don't know. I'm much better now. What? Come along, let's go inside. OK, you are shaking. OCR failed! What is the matter? What did you say to her? Nothing. I saw you talking. Alicia asked me if I felt all right and I thanked her. If you see me in your neighborhood, don't worry. I live across from your Academy. In Benigno's house? Yes. Why are you living there? Benigno is dead. One day, you and I should talk. Yes, and it will be simpler than you think. Nothing is simple. I'm a ballet mistress and nothing is simple. TALK TO HER The stage is full of wooden chairs and tables. Two women come out, wearing slips. Their eyes are closed, like two sleepwalkers. You're scared they'll bump into everything. But suddenly, a man appears, with such a sad face. The saddest I've ever seen. And he knocks all the chairs and tables out of their way. You can't imagine how moving it was! There was a man sitting beside me, in his forties, good-looking. He cried several times, from emotion. I can understand why. It was so beautiful! I have a surprise for you! I got Pina Bausch's autograph for you. I had to buy the photo. It's in English. It means: "I hope you overcome all your obstacles and start dancing." - Look, she's got her period. - It's early. Good evening. Benigno, could you stay tonight? My sister can't stay with the kids and I've got no one else. Why did you come in? You should have called me. I'm not taking advantage of you? - You've done three nights this week. - Don't worry. If I have one afternoon free that's enough. I have to talk to the builders about the apartment. It's in such a mess. Then I just have to get a photo framed. My situation won't improve. Maybe we should tell the clinic and let them decide. Look, your husband walked out on you and the kids. You come the nights you can, and I'll do the rest. Between us we'll manage. Thank you. - You stopped the intravenous nutrition. - She didn't tolerate it. - We can try again tomorrow. - Yes. Now, go on. - And cheer up. - Thanks. Six bulls and one woman. Next Wednesday, in the traditional bullring in Brihuega, Lydia Gonzalez is going to fight six bulls! - That's a lot of bulls, Lydia. - Good evening. Why such a drastic decision? My job is to fight bulls. Two bulls, six, whatever they say. People say a lot of bullfighters won't fight with you because you're a woman. People can say what they want. That's their business! You must admit there's too much chauvinism in bullfighting. But there are exceptions. El Nino de Valencia was happy to share billing with you for several months. That's over now! Do you think it was all just a show to promote himself and when he'd done that he left you? I told you earlier I wouldn't talk about that! But it's good to talk, honey. And talking about problems is the first step in overcoming them. - El Nino de Valencia... - That's enough! Lydia, darling, don't be rude and let me finish the question. I told you earlier I didn't want to talk about that. You didn't tell me anything earlier. And I don't like you saying that, because people may think we plan the interviews, and I don't do that. I only do live. I'm one of the few who dare to do that, just as you should dare to admit you were used, because El Nino de Valencia was using you! A man who shared not just fame and the bullring with you but your bed as well, dumped you when it suited him. Hello, Juan Luis. It's Marco. How are you? I wanted to ask you something. I'd like to do an article on Lydia Gonzalez. Yeah, I'm watching it too. I'd like to do something in depth. For the Sunday issue? Great! She's gone nuts. She's dedicating it to you. She'd let the bull rip her apart just so that you could see it. We shouldn't have come, especially you. I know what I'm doing. But El Nino has to concentrate. He's got no time for other worries. I won't give him any. But tell him to stop by the house and get his things, or to tell me where to send them. Send them to my place. He can tell me himself. I have nothing to do with you. Here, you can leave when you want. - Good evening. - Whiskey on the rocks. - Which glass do you prefer? - The tall one. Excuse me, could I speak to you for a moment, please? Forget it. When something's over, it's over. Excuse me. What were you saying? Could I have a word with you, please? If you take me to Madrid, we could talk on the way. I'd be delighted. Let's go. Who named you Lydia? My father. It was like sealing your fate. He always wanted to be a bullfighter, but he stayed a banderillero. He was the one who supported me the most, but he died a year ago. I'm sorry. "El Pais" wants me to do a profile on you for their Sunday issue. Do you write on bullfighting? Your name isn't familiar. To be honest I know nothing about it. So why are you here? I know nothing about bullfighting but a lot about desperate women. Yeah? And who told you I'm desperate? You gave me that impression. You don't care about bullfighting. You're interested in my relationship with El Nino. Tell "El Pais" the answer's no and leave me alone! - Good night. - Good night. - Get me out of here! - What's wrong? Get me out of here, please. There's a snake in the kitchen! Give me the keys. - The door's open. - Calm down, and stay here. My purse... Thank you. Take me to a hotel. I'm never going back to that house. Which hotel? - The Eurobuilding, for example. - Very well. Don't tell anyone about this snake business, please. - Only my family knows about it. - Don't worry. One thing I respect is other people's phobias. After all you've done, I feel bad about saying no to the profile. Sleep on it. I'll call you tomorrow for your decision. Thank you for everything. - Good night. - Good night. Do you want me to stay? I can sleep on the couch. I've done it before. No, I have to learn to be alone. Hello. - Hello, everyone. - Good morning. Washing her hair? What do you think? - How was the night? - Normal. Give me that, I'll do it. I'm off. - So long. - Bye, Matilde. It's so hot! We should cut her hair. Cut it short. It's more practical and comfortable. We'll leave it like it was when she arrived here. So it won't look different if she awakes. After four years in a coma, it would be a miracle. I believe in miracles. And so should you. - Why me? - Because you really need them. One could happen to you, and you wouldn't even realize. God, it's so hot! I bought something in the drugstore to help stop the perspiration stains on my uniform. Your armpits don't sweat but the rest... Look at my face! - What's it called? - Oh, God. Perspirex. Hello, it's Marco. Remember me? Of course. - How are you? - Naked. I should buy some clothes. This is all I have. I could go to your house and get what you need. No, I don't want anything from there. Maybe later. - Where are we going? - To Sybilla. - You must think I'm mad. - Why? - I don't ever want to go back home. - No, I understand. When we broke up, I couldn't carry on sleeping in the same bed. - I slept on the couch. - Yeah? I did that for over a week, until I decided to buy a new bed. So you're single. I'm alone. SEVERAL MONTHS LATER We have to talk after the fight. - We've been talking for an hour. - You. Not me. You're right. Did you read about the nuns? The ones who were raped by missionaries in Africa. The priests themselves! It's horrible! If you can't trust a missionary, what's to become of us? - They used to rape the local women. - Really? Because of AIDS, they started raping the nuns. Oh, my God! And I had the missionaries on a pedestal. I'm sure not all of them are rapists. - I hope not. - No, some are pedophiles. - What's that? - Everybody loves fucking... Shut up, Antonio. You're such a brute. - How do the bulls look? - Good, but heavy. - What do you reckon? - Over 1,000 lbs. Holy shit! I'm going to our bar. Lydia, remember we're eating at home. If the kids don't see their aunt, there'll be hell to pay. Good luck. Bull's coming. Don't cry, love. Hello. How is she? Poor thing, very bad. It tore her apart. My father'll be happy now. "Not the girl." My mother and I were always telling him that. But she turned out just like him. Don't upset yourself. What time is it? It's been four hours. THREE WEEKS LATER You're going home? Yes. I'd like to stay, but I can't. You know there's nothing more we can do here. Our bar's been closed for three weeks. The kids are with a neighbor and I've neglected this man. If anything should happen you can get here in two hours. You can be sure of that. We must have faith. Faith? I keep lighting candles, but I'm finding it hard to have faith. When can we put her medals back on? Not yet. With all that she's got, the injuries, the tracheotomy... She never took them off. - I'll get a vase. - Thank you. I have to go to America for three months. My agent says it's important. But... The way things are here... I don't want to go. Can you go outside for a moment? You can't smoke here. Did she talk to you that day? Yes. Or rather, I talked. About what? My own business. Did she mention me? To be honest, Lydia hadn't mentioned you in a long time. This is all my fault. No. It was my fault. This song gave me goose bumps. Marco, I've always wanted to ask you. Why did you cry the night I met you, after you killed the snake? It brought back a lot of memories. What memories? Years ago, I had to kill another snake. We were in Africa. She had the same phobia as you. She was waiting outside the tent, terrified, defenseless, and totally naked. She saw the snake while we were sleeping. Was she the one for whom you slept on the couch? I hate that woman. - I haven't seen her in years. - Even worse. What can I do to make you forget her? Exactly what you're doing. You were fast asleep so we didn't wake you. Is Dr.Vega here? He'll be in his office. I saw him arrive. 'Morning. Rosa, close the door. There's a draft. - She opened her eyes. - That gives me the creeps. - And when she yawns? - I shit myself. Doctor, I wanted to talk to you. Of course. How are you? How did you sleep? I'll buy you a coffee. How long do you think Lydia can stay like this? Months, years, her whole life. Is there no hope? As a doctor, I have to say no. However... RESUSCITATED "Meryl Lazy Moon awakens from a coma after 15 years." She went into a coma during childbirth. Meryl was a PVS, persistent vegetative state, like Lydia. theoretically unconscious for life. Her recovery contradicts all I'm about to say. So that means there is hope. No, I repeat, scientifically, no. But if you choose to believe, go ahead. She can open her eyes. Or am I imagining that? No, she can open her eyes. But that doesn't mean she can see you or is aware of anything. Lydia's cerebral cortex has been completely destroyed. But the brain stem is intact. That controls the automatic functions, breathing, sleeping, wakefulness, intestinal functions. She can open her eyes but as a mechanical action. Her brain is dead, she's got no ideas or feelings. Come in. Hey, you! Come on in! Yes, you. Hello. - My name's Benigno. - Marco Zuloaga. This is Alicia. - Was it your first night here? - Yes. The first is the worst. Then you get used to it. What are those boots for? They stop her feet from twisting sideways or falling forward. - They look like Ibizan boots. - Do they? I've never been to Ibiza. I know you. From my writings? No. It was at the theatre. We happened to be sitting together. I didn't notice. At one point you started to cry. I told you about him. He cried watching "Cafe Muller." I have to go. So soon? We haven't had a chance to talk. Some other time. - You're here this afternoon? - Yes. Then come and see us. I'm always here. I'm often here at night too. I'm an old hand here. If you need anything... - Thank you. Good-bye. - So long. Mr.Roncero... Good morning. - Shall I get Dr.Vega? - No, carry on with your work. The other day, going through my papers, I found some notes I took the day you came to see me. I'd written down a topic to discuss on your second visit. A visit that never took place. What topic? Your sexual orientation. My sexual orientation? Yes, your sexuality. If you like men or women. When you came to see me, you said you were still a virgin. Well... To answer your question in some way, I think I'm oriented more towards men. Was that why you came to see me? I can't remember now. I guess so. But I'm fine now. Do you have a partner? More or less. I'm not alone anymore. That isn't a problem now. I hope my question didn't annoy you. No, no, not at all. - Was her father here? - Yes. - He asked me if I was a faggot. - You're kidding! Well, he used the American expression, it's more subtle. - What was my orientation? - What did you say? - That I'm into men. - Really? No, silly, I lied to him. How dare he ask me if I like men or women? - Who cares? - Well, I'm glad to know. Did he ask the head nurse if she's a dyke? Did he ask you if you like bestiality or coprophagy? No, you're right. You don't ask things like that. I may have to travel, so I can't come and see you every week. But, in Geneva, they've offered me a creation, a choreography, and that thrills me, I've got an old idea for a ballet. It's called "Trenches." It's about World War I. Problem. You need lots of male dancers because in the war, sorry, there are lots of soldiers. But in Geneva everyone dances. It's wonderful. There are also ballerinas because in the ballet when a soldier dies from his body emerges his soul, his ghost, and that's a ballerina. Long tutu, white like the "willis" in "Giselle", classical, but with blood stain, red. That's lovely. - Yes. - Alicia's loving it. Lovely, because from death emerges life. - From the male emerges the female. - Of course. From the earth emerges... The... The... tree? No. From the earth emerges... The... flowers? No. The ethereal. The ethereal, the impalpable, the ghostly. Of course. And I've got the music. By Penderecki. It's for the victims of Hiroshima, World War II, but no matter. Of course not. And anyway Alicia remembers it perfectly. That's the music for the battle. It's brutal. And for the music for the deaths, I've got a masterpiece that you're going to hear right now. You're going to flip out. Take care. You take care too, Katerina. Though you look gorgeous. "Trenches" must be made. And I shall. - Take care of her. - Of course. Look. We'll put this by the window. So you can watch your friends dancing across the street. And look. I love this room. I'm going to order the whole lot. And... Come in and close the door. How are you? - Sit down. - Thank you. Alicia, look who's here. We're just getting some air, reading magazines... Who was that woman who just left? Katerina, Alicia's teacher. - Her teacher? - Yes, her dancing teacher. Katerina's a real character. Her academy is in front of my house. Alicia was her pupil. And Katerina loves her like a daughter. FOUR YEARS EARLIER Benigno, you've been at the window for half an hour. I'm coming, Mom. Are you following me? No... Well, yes. And? I think this is yours. You must have dropped it. Thank you. - Is everything there? - Yes. - I didn't touch anything. - Thank you. - Where are you going? - Home. May I walk you there? I've got nothing to do. - Yes, but I'm going home. - Yes, of course. Good. I couldn't live without dancing. And I love watching it. - Do you like dancing? - I guess so. Well, yes. But I've never gone to see anything. What else do you do, besides dancing? I love traveling, and I go to the Cinematheque a lot to see films. Recently I've discovered silent cinema. It's my favorite. - Silent cinema? - Yes. - What do you do when you go out? - I don't go out. You must go out sometime. I was looking after my mother, but she died two months ago. I'm sorry. My mother died too, but a long time ago. Well, we're here. Thanks for the wallet. Dr.Roncero. Psychiatrist. 7th Left. Twenty three. The day I spent waiting at the window was the day she wouldn't come. But I knew her address and that her father was a psychiatrist. Dr.Roncero's office. I'd like to make an appointment. Does tomorrow at 5:00 suit you? - Can't it be sooner? - No, tomorrow at 5:00. All right. Your name? What's up? - I've got an appointment at 5:00. - Come in. Don't stand there! Excuse me. - Benigno Martin? - Yes. I have to get some details. I just wanted to see Alicia again, but as I was there and her father was a psychiatrist I decided to tell him I missed my mother. - The last fifteen years, you said? - Yes. I started when I was very young. And during those fifteen years you did nothing but look after your mother? I never left her side. Well, I studied to be a nurse so I had to go out to attend classes. I also studied beauty therapy, make-up and hairdressing, but by mail. You mean you did your mother's make-up and her hair? Of course, and I cut her hair, dyed it, did her nails and I scrubbed her down well, front and back. My mother wasn't disabled, or mad. She was just a bit lazy, you know? My mother was beautiful and I didn't want her to let herself go. - What did your father say? - Nothing, what could he say? - Is he dead? - Heavens, no. He's living in Sweden. I guess, because... I haven't heard from him in ages. - Doesn't he come to see you? - No. He formed another family a long time ago, when he left my mother. We're not in touch. Why have you come to see me? Well... What's your problem? Me? None. You must have one if you've come to see a psychiatrist. Loneliness, I guess. Have you had sexual relations with a woman? Or with a man? No. I'd like to see you next week. Am I not well? No, it isn't that, but... Your adolescence was what we might call special. - It wasn't that special. - It was. Very special. Well, whatever you say. And we should analyze it more deeply. Yes, we'll analyze it. - So I'll come back next week? - Excellent. - My pleasure. - Good-bye. - What are you doing here? - I was just leaving. Don't freak out. I just wanted to see you. But I'm harmless. Dr.Roncero's office. Hi, Lola. I've just taken an elephant-sized dump. One and two and three. Forward and hold. Can you take over? Alicia never came back. I didn't want to scare her again, so I didn't go to her house until a week later, when I had to see her father. It rained all week. The next time I saw her was here. What happened to her? A car accident on one of those rainy days. Her father didn't want her to be alone for a minute, day or night. He asked for the best nurses, I've got a very good reputation here, and they recommended me. When he saw me, he remembered that we'd met and he'd a moment of doubt, but he ended up hiring Matilde and me exclusively. That was four years ago. And here we are. Right, Alicia? I started going to the ballet on my days off. And to the Cinematheque. I try to see all the silent movies. German, American, everything. Then I tell her all I've seen. These last four years have been the richest in my life. Looking after Alicia, doing the things she liked to do, except traveling, of course. For me, it's the opposite with Lydia. How come? I can't even touch her. I don't recognize her body. I can't even help the nurses to turn her over in the bed. And I feel so despicable. Talk to her. Tell her that. I'd like to, but she can't hear me. Why are you so sure about that? Because her brain is turned off. A woman's brain is a mystery, and in this state even more so. You have to pay attention to women, talk to them, be thoughtful occasionally. Caress them. Remember they exist, they're alive and they matter to us. That's the only therapy. I know from experience. What experience have you had with women? Benigno, what experience have you had with women? What? What experience have you had with women? Me? A lot. I lived 20 years day and night with one and 4 years with this one. I love the bullfighter's boyfriend. I bet you anything he's well hung. How do you know? Did you see him? You want a cookie? Of course not. You can tell from a guy's face. And especially from his crotch. I've got a sixth sense. He's friendly with Benigno, isn't he? Yes. He isn't a faggot too, is he? No way. Are you nuts? Are you insinuating Benigno's a faggot? I'm not. It's vox populi, honey. You're very wrong. Dr.Vega confirmed it for me. How would he know? Alicia's father told him. I don't approve of him being so intimate with the patient, but Dr.Vega told me not to worry. Benigno doesn't like women, he's into men. My God! I'll leave so you can carry on pulling him to bits. The poor thing likes Benigno. Good choice, sweetie. I'm free tonight. I'm going to the Cinematheque. - Want to come? - I'm meeting my editor. I'll have to go back to work soon. This woman isn't well. - Benigno, please. - You know what I mean. Her skin's really dry. Let's see. Here it is. - Have you talked to her? - No, and don't go on about it. Good-bye, Lydia. You have to be patient with him. Work hard. "Shrinking Lover." Rosa's got the flu. I hope she didn't give it to you. I'm glad you're feeling well. Even so, I'll give you a massage, and a rubdown with rosemary alcohol. No, I'm all right. Last night I saw a film... that disturbed me. It was a love story, between Alfredo, who's a bit overweight, like me, but a nice guy, and Amparo, his girlfriend, who's a scientist. Amparo is working on an experimental diet formula that will revolutionize the world of nutrition. "You're selfish. You only think of yourself." "I've got it!" "It could be dangerous. I still haven't tested it on humans." "Do you still think I'm selfish?" "It's done wonders for you!" "Don't worry, my love!" "I'll find the antidote!" But time went by. Despite her efforts, Amparo couldn't find the antidote and poor Alfredo was shrinking daily. "I'll always love you." To stop her suffering, Alfredo left. He abandoned Madrid and went back to his mother whom he hadn't seen in 10 years, because she was terrible. He hadn't even told Amparo where she lived. A lot of things happen in the film. But what's important is that after years of remorse and study Amparo finds the address of Alfredo's mother. And she turns up there. "Hotel Youkali, Room Number 15." - Sleep, my love. - What if I squash you when I move? And Alfredo stays inside her... forever. A MONTH LATER Come on, put your hands right. That's it. It's so cool here. It's wonderful! It's lovely out on the terrace, isn't it? And Lydia likes being out on the terrace, don't you, Lydia? You heard her, she loves it. Look at them. It's like they were talking about us. What do you think they'd talk about? Women tell each other everything. Lydia would tell her it's two months today since she was gored. Benjamin and Angela, do you come here of your own free will to be united in matrimony? Yes, we do. That being so, as you wish to be united in holy matrimony, join hands and declare your consent before God and His Church. I, Angela, take you, Benjamin, as my husband, and I give myself to you, and I promise to be faithful to you, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, all the days of my life. May the Lord, who caused this love to grow in you, confirm this mutual consent you have stated before His Church. What God has joined together, let no man pull asunder. What are you doing here? We were to meet at the hotel. I changed my mind. I've always liked weddings. Weren't you to see your sister before the fight? I called her, she'll be at the hotel. I had to promise we'd have supper at her bar tonight. Whatever you say. A lovely ceremony, isn't it? Beautiful. I didn't think she was so young. I guess you came because you didn't trust me. I came because we can't go another day without talking. You needn't worry. It's over with Angela. I've got proof. During the ceremony I didn't cry. But you did. - That's true. - And you needn't. - Don't you believe me? - It isn't that. It took me ten years to get over it, but I swear it's over. - Marco... - Believe me, it's over. Angela and I traveled a lot. The excuse was to write a travel guide on some exotic place, but really it was to keep her away from drugs, to escape from Madrid. Life in Madrid was hell. Our relationship only worked when we got away. After trying for five years and seven travel guides, I brought her here to Lucena, to her parents. They kept her away from drugs and from me. - You still loved her? - Yes. I'd cry when I saw something that moved me because I couldn't share it with her. There's nothing worse than leaving someone you still love. What a sad story. Love is the saddest thing when it goes away, as a song by Jobim goes. We have to talk after the fight. - We've been talking for an hour. - You. Not me. You're right. The doctor said it would take two months for my leg to heal. But you know what? I'm glad the bull gored me. Now I can stay with you until you awake, my love. No one will take me away from you. We'd gotten back together a month before. Lydia was to tell you at the wedding, but when I saw you in the ICU I knew she hadn't. It was you she was crying for. She rang to tell me she'd cried thinking of me. It was the last time we spoke. As I'm injured, I won't be fighting for a while. I'd like to stay with her these nights. Make yourself at home. Thank you. Hello, Alicia. I'm alone again. Admit it, you were looking at her breasts. It's hard not to, they're getting bigger. I'm thinking of going away. - How come? - I have to work. What about Lydia? She doesn't need me anymore. Have you split up? You could say that. Believe me, I could see it coming. Don't ask me how, but I did. There was something in your relationship, forgive me, that didn't work. When are you leaving? - Very soon, but I'll see you before. - I hope so. I'm sorry you're going. - I'm off. Benigno, see you soon. - Yes. Has her period come yet? Going by last month's nursing report it should have come. Yes, it is a bit late. It's over two weeks. That's too much. Are you sure she had one last month? I put the towel on her myself. It was the week you had flu. She even seems swollen. Yes, but at times they can be irregular. Lydia's periods have stopped. You're right. But I think we should tell Dr.Vega. I brought some of my travel guides for Alicia and you. Thank you. I've said good-bye to Lydia. I tried to see Alicia but Dr.Vega and the head nurse were there and I wasn't allowed in. Is anything wrong? No, I think Alicia has got an infection. Can you take me home? I'm off duty. I hope it isn't serious. I don't know. They're doing some tests but they won't tell me anything either. Abidjan, the Yemen, Brazil, Abidjan, the Yemen, Brazil, Turkey, Cuba. - I'll read them to Alicia at night. - They're just travel guides. You wrote them, they must be special. - Are you going alone? - Yes. I wanted to talk to you about that before you leave. - About what? - Loneliness. I want to get married. Married? Who to? To Alicia, of course! You're crazy! We get along better than most married couples. Why shouldn't a man want to marry the woman he loves? Because the woman is in a coma! Because Alicia can't say with any part of her body: "I do!" Because we don't know if vegetative life is really life! Get in the car. - How can you say that? - Get in the car! Your relationship with Alicia is a monologue and it's insane. I'm not saying talking's no use but people talk to plants and they don't marry them! I can't believe you're saying that. I thought you were different. Promise you won't mention it again, or even think about it! - Promise me! - Why? If you say that to anyone else, you'll be in big trouble, and I won't be there to help you. If it'll make you happier, I promise. - However much we like her... - Do you like her too? Of course, how couldn't I? She likes you too. Benigno, Alicia is practically dead! She can't feel anything for anybody, not for you, not for me, not even for herself! Get that into your head! Our patient Alicia Roncero has been raped and is pregnant. I haven't told her father yet because first you're going to tell me what bastard did that in my clinic. Sir, we all feel extremely concerned. You should be feeling responsible. Alicia was on your floor. Then let me be the one to explain the situation. Rosa, please... Alicia's periods stopped two months ago. At first, I thought it was only one month but I was mistaken. That isn't mentioned in last month's report. In fact, it says you put the towel on her as always. That week I was off again with the flu. You wrote it, didn't you, Benigno? It's your writing. Yes, it was me. Why did you falsify the notes? I didn't want to cause any alarm. It isn't the first time a patient's periods have stopped. That's true. Why did no one notice? Where's the nurse who did nights? Matilde? She called, she can't come in today. Didn't she notice anything odd? Matilde's having family problems. Many nights she can't come in. And who stands in for her? Am I to tell her father his daughter is in this retard's hands day and night? Please! Let's calm down here. I don't know if you realize you are the main suspect. Why did you hide her first missed period? I'm sure you've got an explanation. You're incapable of harming Alicia. You can be sure of that. Then... Last night, I was in the parking lot and heard a conversation between Benigno and Marco. Benigno said he wanted to marry Alicia. Mr.Zuloaga tried to dissuade him, but Benigno wouldn't listen, he was very upset. He also said he knew a lot of married couples who didn't get along half as well as he and Alicia. JORDAN, EIGHT MONTHS LATER Lydia Gonzalez was buried yesterday, April 13, in the Almudena cemetery. The 33-year-old bullfighter, daughter of Antonio Gonzalez, had been in a coma since... "The Forest" Clinic. May I speak to Benigno Martin? He's on the 2nd floor. - He doesn't work here anymore. - Excuse me, miss... - Are you sure? - Absolutely. - And Nurse Rosa? - Who's calling? - Marco Zuloaga. - I'll put you through. - To get a referral slip stamped? - Along the corridor, Administration. - Who is it? - It's Marco Zuloaga. I'm calling from Jordan. I read that Lydia died. Yes, that's right. I'm so sorry, Marco. I would like to have been told. We've had so many problems here. What's going on? They said Benigno doesn't work there anymore. Benigno's in jail. In jail? Why? He's accused of raping Alicia. What are you talking about? Try to help him. The poor guy's got nobody. - Have you been to see him? - Me? After what he's done, I can't. But he needs help and you're his friend. - All right. What jail is he in? - It's in Segovia. Wait here for me, please. I'd like to see an inmate. That's in Visitations, through that door to the left. Thank you. May I help you? I'd like to see the inmate Benigno Martin. This isn't a visitor's day, but let me see. I'm sorry, I can't hear you. I'm sorry. This isn't a visitor's day. and what's more, the intern hasn't requested a visit. He doesn't know I'm in Madrid. I arrived yesterday. Are you a relative? No, I'm a friend. My name is Marco Zuloaga. - May I see your ID, please? - Yes, of course. Can I phone him? You can't phone him, but he can phone you. My number's changed. Can you give him the new one? - Of course. - Thank you. Great. You should remember that visitor's days are Saturday and Sunday. But it's the intern who has to request the visit. If he doesn't want to see you, we can't do anything. He'll want to see me. By the way, we don't have inmates here, we have... I can't hear you. I'm sorry. We don't have inmates here, we have interns. Good-bye, and thank you. - 627... - Wait. ...96 64 09. No, 9. Fuck. 627... - Hello? - Marco, is that you? - Yes, Benigno. - It's great to hear you. I've requested your visit. I'll see you Saturday. All right. - Where are you? - Outside the clinic. Dr.Vega told me everything. How could you, Benigno? You haven't come back to freak out on me? No. Do you need anything? I need information. How's Alicia? The staff is forbidden to talk to me. She's in another clinic, they don't know where. I don't believe that. Neither do I, but I'm not surprised they won't tell us. Hey, man, are you still my friend? Of course, whom do you think I'm here for? Then find out what's happened to Alicia. If she's alive, if she had a baby, if it's alive... I need to know. You understand, don't you? Yes. I'll try to find out. See you Saturday. - Did you find out anything? - Not yet, but I will. Be patient. I was patient until the baby was due, but that was a month ago. You have to keep waiting. Fuck! What do you do here all day? I work in the sick bay. The jail is new, so there aren't many people. It's very quiet. From outside, it doesn't look like a jail. Forget the jail! My problem is not seeing Alicia. The medical officer and Alicia's father say I'm a psychopath. Yeah, a psychopath. They say it's good for the trial, but I don't give a shit about that. I need to see Alicia and find out how it all ended. If this goes on, I'm capable of doing anything. They say I'm a psychopath? Well, I'll behave like one. Don't say that, please! And get me another lawyer. The one I've got practically throws up on me when he looks at me. OK. I'll tell the concierge to give you my keys. Rent it out and that'll pay the lawyer. I'll rent it, because mine has been rented out too. Great. I like that you're my tenant. I've been thinking a lot about you, especially at night. Why at night? Because I read at night. I've read all your travel guides. It was like traveling for months with you at my side, telling me things no one tells you on journeys. My favorite is the one on Havana. I really identified with those people who've got nothing and invent everything. When you describe that Cuban woman leaning out a window by the "Malecon" waiting uselessly, seeing how time passes and nothing happens... I thought that woman was me. Good morning, ma'am. I'm Benigno's friend. - Are you Marco, the Argentinean? - Yes. I'm the concierge. Benigno rang to tell me you'd be renting the apartment. - That's right. - It'll be very dirty, because he strictly forbade me to go in and clean it. I wasn't going to charge him a cent, but... Don't worry, I'll take care of that. - Shall I give you the key? - Yes. I'll see if I can find it. Have you seen him? Yes. And how is he? Fine. The poor thing didn't even have any luck in jail. He got very little publicity. Not one lousy television came here, nor one lousy paparazzi. With all the trashy shows there are, not one bothered to come and interview me. It's sad the state of the "masses-media" in this country. Yes, you're right. - The keys... - That's never been a problem for us. We don't know anything until we can get into the tunnel. And we can't get into the tunnel until the place cools down. Until we can get in, we don't know if we have to evacuate Elk Horn. Well, that's FEMA's call. FEMA's indicated they're gonna wanna make it the governor's call. The governor's indicated he wants you to step in... I should set a ransom. I'll tell you the radiation levels but first I want your electoral votes. Or is that a bad strategy? - It's pretty bad. - No ransom. We'll play this one straight. What about other shipments? There are two other shipments on the road. One's low-level radioactive waste, mostly medical. - It's on three rail cars in South Carolina. - Have we stopped the train? The National Guard's securing it till we know what happened. - What about the second one? - That's more problematic. There's 200 pounds of transuranic materials from Rocky Flats where they assemble the triggers. They're about 150 miles from Carlsbad, and we can't tell them to pull over. - That makes them vulnerable. - They beefed up the escort? - Yeah. - Okay. Thank you, Mr. President. No one knew if Eisenhower was a Democrat or Republican before he ran. Grant only voted once, and it was for the other guys. Grant works as an example in almost any situation. That's Grant's legacy. - Plus, he won the Civil War. - What about Leo? - What'd I do? - As running mate. Bartlet-McGarry. - Done. - It's not absurd, you know. - It is. - It's not totally absurd. - Yes, it is. - He wants your parking space. - I really do. - It's not totally absurd. You have a good parking space. You know, if it weren't for the drinking and the Valium... . - Yet, Grant... . - That's right. They told Lincoln, "Grant's a drunk." He said: "Send my generals a case of what he drinks." - I see a 30-second spot. - An alcoholic can't be vice president? You really think the 20th century didn't see an alcoholic in the West Wing? I'll be around. Hey, Leo. - They didn't mean anything. - Yeah, I didn't take anything. What's going on in Idaho? The tunnel's still hot. We're looking at evacuating Elk Horn. - Elk Horn's 20,000. - Yeah. - We've done this before? - For hurricanes. Yeah. - This is a radioactive cloud. - I wouldn't call it a cloud. You wouldn't call it the end of a Yankee game, either. I don't know. You got your sirens, route and tone alerts on local radio and TV. - Paul Reveres go out. - Civil defense volunteers. Yeah, we got the armory in Caldwell, 75 miles away, for refugees. Still, we're talking about widespread panic and chaos, right? I assume. - Anything else? - I don't wanna go back to my meeting. - Well, you're not staying here. - Okay. There must be 110 million for distance learning and telemedicine. Can we shave that down? There are three rural committee members who love distance learning. I'm not sure I see the point if the rural poor don't have Internet hookups. - Why don't we plus-up the entire bill? - Sir? We get our Internet 52 million. They get to add 52 million for Internet-blocking software or whatever they want. Can't we do that? One of the problems is they're deficit hawks. - We're deficit hawks too. - That's the other problem. All right, work with me here. What do they want? A bridge, a highway a soda machine? What do they want? - They want your name off the bill. They want your name off it. They love this bill. Helping the poor learn computers so they can lift themselves up by the bootstraps? It gets voted out of committee unanimously, but it's an election year. When is it not an election year? I like what Daniel Webster said when the Whig Party offered him vice president: "I do not propose to be buried until I am dead." I used to be every Republican's favorite Democrat. - Screw it, Sam. - Absolutely, Mr. Vice President. Let's take my name off it. Yes, sir. - Where's Secretary Fisher? - He can't make it tonight. - Excuse me? - The secretary's at an NGA reception at the Willard Hotel. She says he can see you tomorrow. - She? - His scheduler. - You paged him. - She called back. Call Fisher or his scheduler and say: "I want the secretary here in half an hour to talk about moving his announcement to the briefing room because we have more TV cameras." - Because we have... The most dangerous place in Washington is between Bill Fisher and a TV camera. Clean as a whistle. - Thank you. - Molly Morello. When was the last time I asked you for anything? - By the way, I found this. - What? "A proclamation to modify the quantitative limitations applicable to the imports of wheat gluten." We are just a little rococo, aren't we? Why is Molly Morello less worthy of a proclamation than General Pulaski? - I wish I knew who Pulaski was. - This is what I mean. She's not less worthy, but neither is she more than the other ninety thousand public school teachers who are retiring. Who weren't lucky enough to have a staffer as a former student. - That's trouble. - Who would find out? "Who would find out" is also where we frequently find trouble. - You're right. - Yes. All right, you're right. - Hey. - You get it done? - Yeah. - He's taking his name off it? Yeah. Well, it feels like we're almost done in there. You wanna tell me what this meeting's about now? Replacing Hoynes. - What are you...? - Bruno wanted us to look at replacing. - Josh. - So we're looking at it. We're looking at it, and everybody's treating me like... . - Why? - There's electoral math. - Was I sent away? - No. - So I wouldn't be at that meeting? - No. Are you talking about names? Fitzwallace, Leo and Ulysses S. Grant. Not for nothing, but before we go in there, I wanna be clear. I didn't have to convince him or even suggest it. Right off the bat he said, "Let's take my name off it." - Yeah. - Leo? The vice president. Thanks. You can go home now. - I go home when you go home. - I'll get back to you. Mr. Vice President, I like your style. - It's money well spent. - It deserved to have your name on it. I've got my name on other stuff. You know what I don't like? I don't like we can't campaign on it. - Can you sit for a minute? - Yeah. I'm in a bind, and I think you know what it is. I'm sorry, I don't. I respect the anonymity of an alcoholic, I can't reveal what's said in a meeting but I've got a responsibility to the president, and in fact, to the country. Leo, I'm sorry. I honestly don't know what you're saying. - You've gotta tell the president. - Tell him what? - That you're an alcoholic. - Are you telling me he doesn't know? - How would he know? - You didn't tell him? Of course I didn't. - Before you picked me, you didn't tell? - No. - I always assumed... - No. Well... . Let's go see our boss. - Hey. - How was the NGA? Oh, you know the governors, too many mandates, too little money. - I can hear that one at home. - Good one. - The governors liked it. - Yeah. Have you announced for the governor of New Jersey bill? - Excuse me? - Did I miss an announcement? That's three years away. I'm trying to serve... I never heard of these loans. So I'm assuming it's a campaign proposal. Camden and Newark will go nuts. I know it's not national. - Give me a break. - Know how I know? National programs are announced by the president unless this White House passes on them first. Toby, this is a nickel-and-dime program. Calm down. Right. We're announcing a new replacement for Social Security... - I thought we were... - They're not your nickels. - They're not your dimes! - Hang on a minute. The president asked me to join his Cabinet. He asked me to stall my career with the agreement that he'd help me... You don't want it. You're helping yourself. If this announcement makes A17 of the Metro section, I'd be surprised. There's one name on the ballot this November. Not yours, not mine, not the governor of New Jersey. No one will work harder than Jed Bartlet to put you there. This president loses reelection, your career is finished, and so is mine. What's your point? Next time you announce new policy that isn't cleared we're announcing you're moving back to New Jersey. - What about the loans? - C.J. will announce them tomorrow. Come on. Let me do it with the president. It's too small for the president. I've gotta go back to a meeting. - Yep. It was the rebate. - It wasn't a rebate. It was an advance. - You say potato... . - I do say potato, so does everybody. We wanted to inject money into retail and tourism. Why not wait until people were supposed to have the money? The economy might have improved on its own by then. In which case, it would have been pointless. - Yeah. - Economists make it up as they go along. - Yeah. - Did it work? Not that much. Most people did what you did. They saved or they paid down debt. We don't want people to save and reduce debt? We do, but when the next guy's president. - You win. - I always do. Yes, sir. - I'll tell you what I find interesting. - What's that? You. $35,000 a year, a sister to support and you gave $ 1435 to charity? I'm not sure that check isn't better off in your hands. Oh, I'm taking it. Don't be ridiculous. When you get to your place, you're gonna find a DVD player and that wimp-ass Bond movie. - Mr. President... And I threw in Yeoman of the Guard on CD. - That was an incredibly nice gesture. - I'm really something. Mr. President. - Hey, John. - Could we have a minute, sir? - Yeah. - Charlie, get that woman on the phone. I'm feeling magical tonight. They're in the tunnel. The readings show nothing beyond the predictable level of radiation. The flatbed's back on its way, and the Carlsbad is behind gates. - So we dodged a bullet. - Yeah. We pack this stuff in two inches of stainless steel, four inches of lead. We rammed it with trains and dropped it from helicopters and it still isn't gonna protect us from the thing we haven't thought of. They took a cast to Aberdeen Proving Ground and shot a missile through it. They showed me video. What can I do for you? Sir, there's something very important we need to talk to you about. What? Well, it's delicate and surprising and I wanna make sure your first reaction is measured, so I'd like us to... I'm a recovering alcoholic. - Really? - Yes, sir. - Is there anybody left who's not? - Sir... - For how long? - I'm sorry? - How long have you been in recovery? - My last drink it was the year I was 22. - Did you say 22? - Yes, sir. - You haven't had a drink since 22? - That's right. - I didn't start drinking till I was 25. - What the hell do you guys count... - There's a history in my family, and I had a few experiences in college. I liked beer a lot. So I started going to meetings. - I'm pretty sure if I stopped... - Twenty-two? - Yes, sir. - You and James Bond ought to team up. - I don't... . - Don't worry. He's ordering a watered-down martini, and Leo, what is this meeting going on across the hall? - We can talk about it later. It's a meeting about having me replaced on the ticket. I know how to count to 270. John, I assure you... I assure you that if it were a serious notion, we would... - Texas is gone. So is Florida. - We're not doing it. - You should think about it. - Are you taking your name off that bill? Nobody benefits from the Internet right now more than the rural poor. You're taking your name off. We can't campaign on it. - Yes, sir. - And if somebody's attacking us you know what to do. I call Leo. Yeah, but don't discount the possibility that it might be Leo. Yes, sir. John, despite this recent revelation that you drank beer in college I've always liked you a little more than you thought I did. But that's not why you're staying. It's this. Four words. I've always liked you more than you thought I did too. Just a little, right? - Yes, sir. - Me too. Anything else? - Thank you, Mr. President. - Thank you, sir. Charlie! - Yes, sir. - Let's go. I'm a magic man. - Donnatella. - Good evening, Mr. President. Tell Josh that General Pulaski was a Polish brigadier general who vanquished the Russian and Prussian military, came to the colonies and commanded our cavalry during the Revolution. - I will. - It says here in a briefing paper hastily written by Deputy Josh Lyman that in the '60s, when the Madison superintendent banned Twelfth Night for reasons passing understanding a Mrs. Molly Morello had students over to her home on Saturdays to read it. I didn't know that, sir. Josh wrote you a memo on Molly Morello? Yeah, because all I had tonight was a nuclear spill in Idaho. It says,"She came in two hours early to teach an AP English class she developed, because the school didn't offer one." - I was in that class. - She deserves a proclamation. - I wish I could give her one, but I can't. - I understand. It's just too much inside baseball, you know? You're very nice to even talk to me about it. Charlie, I've been tapping my finger on the desk for about a minute now. - Sir? - The magic-man thing works better when you pick up on signals, Tonto. What's that you say? There's a phone call for Donna? Good evening. This is the White House. For whom are you holding? I'm holding for Donna Moss. This is Mrs. Morello. - Oh, my God. - Donna? - Mrs. Morello, it's me. - Is everything all right? Everything's fine. I hadn 't heard from you in a long time, so I... No. Everything's fine. Sally Seidelman told me you were retiring. Yes, at the end of this year. Well, I just wanted to say... . I don't know, I just... . I just wanted to say... . - I don't know. - Are you sure everything's all right? - Tell her where you are. - Donna? I'm in the Oval Office with the President of the United States and it's because of you. - Mrs. Morello? - What a thing to say. - We're all very proud of you, Donna. - She didn't do anything. - Was that...? - It's Jed Bartlet, Mrs. Morello. I've got a couple of questions. When you taught Beowulf, did you make the kids read it in the original Middle English or did you use a translation? - We used a translation, Mr. President. - Okay. - We'll call that the James Bond version. - Yes, sir. What are you doing with your retirement? - My husband and I were gonna travel. - That's great. I'd stay away from the Elk Horn, Idaho area for a little while. You'll read why in the morning. Let's talk about Twelfth Night. - Twenty-two? - Yeah. - You haven't had a drink since 22? - Right. - Grant would have slapped your face. - He did once. Listen, it's fine that this is funny and, Mr. Vice President, I couldn't care less. - But what about the campaign? - What about it? - President just got past an honesty issue. - He's not past it. - If it becomes public... - That's a big assumption. No, it's not. I think that issue is probably worth further discussion but we're done talking about the ticket. The president wants the vice president to remain the vice president and he wrote down his one and only reason. "Because I could die." Well, of course, he's right, sir. It doesn't solve the problem of the electoral math. I don't know what the field will look like after Labor Day. It'll be shaken up, but right now the math's tough. And I know you all think he's a punch line, and I know why. But I disagree. They're sure running the right guy against us. Am I the only one who thinks a giant sumo wrestler and a hockey goal might get the job done? I don't know. I'm open to new ideas. -Oh! Hey, Rach! -Hi. -Happy Valentine's Day! -You too! How's living at Ross'? It's good, except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Something really boring happened to someone ugly in the Middle Ages. Oh, thank you. I'll see you guys later. That is one lucky to-go cup of coffee. I wish you would get over her. I hate seeing you like this. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you wanna look down my top? Thanks. Maybe later. -Gunther, can I get a scone? -Want anything? I want a lot of things. I wanna be with the woman I love on Valentine's Day. I want her to love me back. And I want relief from the wrenching pain of knowing that won't happen! We have red bagels. Okay. So how do you guys like living together so far? -Oh, it's been good. -Yeah. Except Ross is more uptight about crumbs than you are. There was a drumstick in the couch. And I am not uptight about crumbs. It's just that, you know.. crumbs attract mice. And mice leave droppings. And that's how the plague started. So you wanna relive that again.. Mice didn't start the plague. Rats did. Rattus norvegicus, to be exact. Oh, good God, Ross. Nick at Nite, once in a while. All right, I'm going. Bye. Phoebe, will you wait here? -I wanna get your opinion on something. -Yeah. How does Mona feel about Rachel moving in? I'm on my way to tell her. She's been away all week, but she'll be cool. She's been so supportive. She even got the baby a T-shirt that says "Fossils are my friends." Come on, Mona. Don't kiss ass. So I'm gonna take off. Oh, shoot! Oh, shoot! Rachel wanted to see this tape. -What is it? -My friend giving birth. Could you take it to your apartment? "Candy and Cookie"? Candy's the mom, Cookie's the daughter. The father's name is also Cookie. Why am I friends with these people? Phoebe, come here. I wanna show you something in the bathroom. Monica, grow up. -What's behind your back? -Something I want Phoebe's opinion on. -You don't want my opinion? -Not really. Come on, I'm your older brother. Ask me. Okay, big brother. Which one would make your best friend want to do your little sister? The red one. Hey. I know you're depressed, so I brought someone to cheer you up. Right outside is a real, live, furry playmate. I'm not sleeping with your friend Jane again. Hey, a dog! Who, you gotta admit, looks a lot like Jane. He's the happiest dog ever. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy. So you can keep him till he cheers you up. I borrow him myself from time to time.. when I get depressed thinking about.. world hunger, poverty.. Not to trivialize your pain. Thanks so much, Pheebs. We are gonna have so much fun! Oh, not that kind of fun. Happy Valentine's! I'm slipping into something a bit less comfortable and a bit more slutty. "Candy and Cookie"? Monica got me porn? Girl-on-girl porn? ! She really must love me! -Yeah, just relax. -I love you, St. Valentine. Whoa, whoa, that's not pretty. Now push! Oh, God, it hurts! Worst porn ever! Worst porn ever! -Oh, make it stop! -I am trying! Get the ball. Ready? Get the ball! You're cute, but you're not too smart. Did I just throw this? -Hi. -Hi. I accidentally packed these with my stuff. -Who is this? -Phoebe's friend's dog. I don't know his real name. I call him Mozzarella. You are so cute. I wish I could play, but I've gotta go to work. I hope I stop talking like this before my meeting. Yes, I do. Bye-bye, Joey. Seriously, I can't stop it. Come here! Hey! That's Rachel. She used to live here. Might as well be honest with you. We love her. But we can't have her. I really miss her. Hey, you understand, right? You're a guy. Well, you used to be. So, what do you think? I've still got it. -Why did you get me this? -What is it? It's yelling, bleeding, dilating. Oh, the dilating! Is this the video of the birth? It's Phoebe's. Why were you watching it? I thought maybe you got me porn for Valentine's Day. If you thought I was gonna get you porn for Valentine's Day.. you were right. It's about a girl who moves to the city in search of stardom.. but ends up having sex with a lot of guys. It got four stars. Wait a minute. Those aren't stars. -Anyway, you wanna take a look? -Well.. -I'm not really in a sexy mood. -Hey, what's going on? Remember the first time you saw Jaws.. how long it took to go back in the water? We can't let this tape wreck Valentine's Day. You gotta get past it. Just get back on the horse. Otherwise, the horse is gonna go into the bedroom and change into her sweatpants. -Okay, you don't know. You didn't see it. -Childbirth is beautiful. Oh, beautiful? Really? You think this is beautiful? Oh, my God! No wonder my mother hates me! -See, honey, there's.. -Don't touch me! -Hi! -Hey! -How was Atlantic City? -Good. I brought you back a present. You didn't have to.. Saltwater taffy? ! Thanks. Interestingly, it isn't made with seawater. It's actually made with salted fresh water. That's not interesting. -I think it's interesting. -Me too. I missed you! Me too. -How was your week? -Good. -The baby started kicking. -How exciting! It was amazing. The only thing is, I wasn't there the first time. -Oh, no. -I was missing out on all this stuff. -Joey suggested Rachel move in with me. -Yeah, right. -What? -Joey cracks me up. "Have your ex-wife move in. That wouldn't be awkward." Imagine, I go away for a few days.. and my boyfriend is living with a woman he got pregnant. So, what'd you tell him? You didn't tell Mona Rachel moved in? She seemed to think it was such a crazy idea. Plus, she got me taffy. -Really? I've never had any. -Ever? My mom was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats. Thank you. Are you gonna tell her? I will. I want to butter her up first. I'm gonna take her to dinner, do all this romantic stuff. When she thinks I'm the best boyfriend ever.. I'll tell her my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me. If I haven't said it before, she's a lucky, lucky lady. So where are..? What the crap is up with this stuff? Is it gum? Is it food? What's the deal? Oh, it's nice. May I try a pink one? So I just have to plan the perfect night. Hey, what's the best date you ever had? Last year, Greg Hayman took me to a very nice sushi dinner. Then we took a romantic walk to a nearby research lab.. where we trashed the place and freed 20 monkeys. I knew it! I knew I wasn't crazy! Last year, a monkey did attack me at the bus stop! So between her and me being friends, and her history with Ross.. it just isn't gonna happen. It'd be like you falling in love with a cat. -Hey. -Hey. How's my favorite dog, huh? How's my favorite dog? You're subdued. -Did you give him a beer? -No. -Will you excuse us? We need to talk. -Sure. Oh, me, right. -He's miserable. What happened to him? -Nothing. -We talked about stuff. -What stuff? Rachel stuff. Oh, Joey, you bummed him out! This is the happiest dog in the world. He spends a day with you, and look! He's breathing. Okay, well, he's watching us so just look happy, okay? -I'll take him to Wendy's. -He's fine. Look. Here's your ball! Get your ball! Get your ball! Get.. Of course. You don't want a tennis ball. Not when you can have a meatball. Come on, get the meatball. God, what have I done to you? I broke the dog, Pheebs! I broke the dog! Thanks. I'm going to pick up Mona. What are you doing tonight? Oh, I got big Valentine's plans. I got my Chinese food on the way, and your saltwater taffy. Interestingly, it isn't made with seawater.. We actually watched the documentary together. Oh, my Chinese food. I'll get my cash. Mona? What are..? Hi! How are you? I'm supposed to pick you up. I made you a Valentine's dinner. Surprise! -Oh! Hey, Mona! -Hi, Rachel. What's she doing here? I have no idea. I'll be watching TV if anybody needs me. What is she doing? Lately she just likes hanging out here. -Why? -I think she's lonely. But it's Valentine's Day. Can't we ask her to go? Well, no, she's way too emotional. And by emotional, I mean crazy! That's just my Chinese food. She has food delivered here? Yes, she's emotional, but ballsy. I'm gonna get in my sweats and eat this in bed. And you thought she was gonna be in our way! Open the champagne, and I will be right back. -I've got a surprise. -You got another ex-wife back there? Please start drinking. -I'm just gonna grab the phone. -Rachel, wait. I hope you don't take this the wrong way. -What are you doing? -Do you need the phone? No. Ross is too nice to say it, but this is his apartment. We need boundaries, so why don't you go back to your place. But, Mona, I live here. Happy Valentine's Day! Or, something to remember me by. -How long has it been this time? -Ninety seconds. Ninety seconds is a long time not to think about it. Except all I did was think about it. I know. It haunts me. Till now, the worst thing I'd seen was my dad doing shots off the houseboy. After this, I would gladly make that my screen saver. We have to get past this. We'll pretend it never existed. I could do that. Now all we gotta do is get rid of this chair. -Oh, thank God! -I know. Come in! Hi. I'm sorry to barge in on your Valentine. I had to get away from the yelling. Mona's dumping Ross. -Oh, my God. -Poor Ross. We watch him do yoga in his underwear, but for this he closes the drapes. You know that birthing tape you wanted to see? It's here. We should warn you before you watch it. Don't watch it. You saw it? Is it scary? It's ironic how footage of someone being born.. can make you want to kill yourself. Honey, she may not have to watch it but she's going to have to do it. Now I'm all freaked out. Will you watch it with me? No, but I'll leave a sweater that smells like me right next to you. Monica, come on. You want to have kids. I do. But the stork is gonna bring mine. Seriously, you're not gonna make me watch this alone. She's right. Of course not. Honey, get the tape. This reminds me of a very specific part of the tape. Oh, sure. But if you leave a drumstick under there and you're a bad roommate. Here we go. Okay. Oh, my. Come on, come on. Why is that baby torturing that woman? Why have I seen this thing three times? It's beautiful. -It's horrible! -I know, I know! I'm so sorry for you! What do I do? I don't want to do this! How do I get out of it? -You guys! You guys, look! -What? Did her ass explode? No, the baby's out. Look. Look at those little fingers and toes. Look how happy the mom is now. -Oh, Rach. -Screw you! You don't have to do it! -Hey. -Hey! -What's up? -Mona just dumped me. Oh, man, I'm sorry. Why? Lately, I haven't exactly been the perfect boyfriend. I didn't tell her I got Rachel pregnant. I gave her a key to my apartment and then had the locks changed. Then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me. In a way, I judge her for not breaking up with me sooner. That really sucks. Especially on Valentine's Day. Wait a minute. What are you doing here? Joey without a date on Valentine's Day? What's going on, huh? Girl trouble? -Sort of. -Really? You don't have to seem so happy about it. Maybe I can help. Whatever it is, I am sure it has happened to me. You know, actually, once I got dumped during sex. -So anyway, what is it? -Forget about it. It's no big deal. -Come on, what is it? -It's nothing. Hey, it's me. Why can't you tell me? Okay. Sit down. There's this woman that I like a lot. But it can't happen. She's not a Tribbiani? No! So is she someone from work? Yes. Well, does she like you? Sometimes I think she could. But I can't do anything about it. Why not? It's complicated. She was with this other guy for a long time. Someone from work too. I could never do that to the guy. We're friends. Wait, I thought you hated everyone at work. No, no. I only say that.. so Chandler won't feel threatened because I'm his only friend. Excuse me? Sorry, sorry. And I'm your only friend too. So this guy she used to go out with, is he still in love with her? -No, I don't think so. -Okay. Is he a good guy? Yeah, he's the best. -Then talk to him. -I don't know. It's worth finding out, if you like her. I do, so much. I can't stop thinking about her. I can't sleep.. You know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you? You owe it to yourself. Here's your warm milk. I'm gonna put the bourbon in it at home. Anyway, seriously, just talk to the guy, okay? Let me know how it goes. It's Rachel. You're having a baby and you need to prepare. You're gonna make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! I came to the big city to become a star. -I'll do anything to make that happen. -Anything? Maybe it starts with how she gets pregnant. I wonder which one of these guys becomes the father. No, no. Can't get pregnant that way. -Oh! Hey, Rach! -Hi. -Happy Valentine's Day! -You too! How's living at Ross'? It's good, except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Something really boring happened to someone ugly in the Middle Ages. Oh, thank you. I'll see you guys later. That is one lucky to-go cup of coffee. I wish you'd get over her. I hate seeing you like this. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you wanna look down my top? Thanks. Maybe later. -Gunther, can I get a scone? -Want anything? I want a lot of things. I wanna be with the woman I love! I want her to love me back. And I want relief from the wrenching pain of knowing that won't happen! We have red bagels. Okay. The One With The Birthing Video How do you guys like living together? -It's been good. -Yeah. -Except he's so uptight about crumbs. -There was a drumstick in the couch. I'm not uptight about crumbs. It's just, crumbs attract mice and mice leave droppings. And that's how the plague started. If you wanna relive that again... . Mice didn't start the plague, rats did. Rattus norvegicus, to be exact. Oh, good God, Ross. Nick at Nite, once in a while. All right, I'm going. Will you wait here? I want your opinion on something. How does Mona feel about Rachel moving in? I'm on my way to tell her. She's been away all week, but she'll be cool. She's been so supportive. She even got the baby a T-shirt that says "Fossils are my friends. " Come on, Mona. Don't kiss ass. So I'm gonna take off. Oh, shoot! Oh, shoot! Rachel wanted to see this tape. -What is it? -My friend giving birth. Could you take it to your apartment? "Candy and Cookie"? Candy's the mom, Cookie's the daughter. The father's name is also Cookie. Why am I friends with these people? I wanna show you something in the bathroom. Monica, grow up. -What's behind your back? -Something I want Phoebe's opinion on. -You don't want my opinion? -Not really. Come on, I'm your older brother. Ask me. Okay, big brother. Which one would make your best friend want to do your little sister? The red one. Hey. I know you're depressed, so I brought someone to cheer you up. Right outside is a real, live, furry playmate. I'm not sleeping with your friend Jane again. Hey, a dog! Who, you gotta admit, looks a lot like Jane. He's the happiest dog ever. - Where did you get that? - What? - Combination. - Personnel. Pratt matched at County. Yes, I know. He keeps bitching about it. He needs a locker. Thought I'd spare Elizabeth the chore. Heard you had some trouble with Romano yesterday. He was right. I took too long making a decision. You don't have that luxury anymore. I never really thought I did. Mark's gone. That means you've been here longer than any other doctor. People will look to you to step in and fill the void. Big void. Yes, it is. I can't do this. Will you do this? Thank you. Shotgun to the face. This is gonna be fun, huh? Cheaper than plastic surgery. How's the bite? I'm not howling at the moon. There is no moon. - How did it go? - What? The meeting. It was boring. You went? Yeah. I just said it was boring, didn't I? Sorry, they didn't give me a card. You went for you or because you promised me you would? Is this guy gonna look like hamburger? More like ground chuck. I went for you. - You're gonna need some more people. - Why? Come on, hard restraints! - No IV? -20 of morphine before he pulled out. - Sir, we need you to hold still. - Come on, Gallant, keep him on the table. -100 of fent, two of Ativan. - Page Surgery, Plastics, Head and Neck. - Could be PCP. - Or the gunshot wound. Sir, we're gonna help you. But you gotta hold still... - ... while we get the morphine into you. - Okay, pressure 100/80. - Pulse, 150. - Get access. We need to sedate him. - Get a 7.5 ET tube. - You won't be able to use it. - Break open lap pads and a crike tray. - Gallant, hold down his arm. - Seven sterile... - Gallant. - ... and an 11 blade. Drape his neck. - All right, fent's in. Get some O-2 in him. 100% by mask. I'm pushing meds. - Gallant. Gallant. - Okay, okay, okay. He's settling down. Betadine. -20 of etomidate. - Wait, are we tubing him or criking him? - Criking. Look at his face. - Just taking a peek. - All right, bradying down. - Yeah, he aspirated too much blood. - Open the crash cart. - Gallant, unroof his jaw and hold it out of the way. I need to see the epiglottis. - Mg of atropine. - Susan, hook your finger under his tongue. - I can't do it. - Don't move. Abduct the mandible. - I need to sit down. - Don't move. - V-tach. - All right, I'm in. Let go, Gallant. - Charge is 200. - Hyperventilating. - Sats are 90. - Clear. - Sinus rhythm. - Okay, full trauma panel. C- spine, chest and pelvis. Gallant, why don't you go get yourself some air? Want a facial CT? Yeah, good idea. Why don't we get a full head series? Call RT. Let's get a vent. Give him four of Ativan, seven of Pav. Nice work, John. Bet that was a new one. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I'm sorry. I just thought I was gonna be sick. It's better if you keep your head down. It'll be okay. It just caught me by surprise, you know? Relax. Take a minute. You know, sometimes I don't think I can do this. You know, there's two kinds of doctors. There's the kind that get rid of their feelings and the kind that hold on to them. If you're gonna hold on to your feelings, you're gonna get sick once in a while. It's part of it. You know, people come in here and they're sick and they're bleeding sometimes they're dying and they need our help. And helping them is more important than how we feel. Hell, I've been doing this eight years. I still get sick. Take another minute. - Did he go up? - OMFS, ENT and Plastics all in. Both carotids and IJ's intact. He must have turned right when the blast hit him. - Good. - How's he doing? Oh, he'll be all right. How are you? Ask me tomorrow. - Good night. - Good night. He might need some fluids soon. No. Morphine boluses of 10. I heard you were gone. No, I'm still here. Good. You know I don't like nobody else helping me. I know. You've always treated me like a man. Just try and relax. What is that? That monitor's just a little sensitive, that's all. I'm scared. There's no reason to be. Everything's okay. I could have been a better person. I could have done more. You did enough. Stay with me. It won't be much longer. I'll stay right here. - Let me see. - I think I singed my eyebrow. I need to see. You thought it was a good idea to put kerosene in your barbecue? - I thought it was lighter fluid. - It doesn't look burnt. I'll check for corneal burns with an ultraviolet light. I need everything documented. Worker's comp. - You're a chef? - It was my summer office party. Oh, I don't think that counts. Any word on the air conditioning? - Yeah. They think it'll be fixed by winter. - I can't work like this. - You want a Big Stick? - No. - Why did I buy these shoes? - Because they were cute. - Some help here. - Yeah, what is it? Car rammed into a picnic at Lincoln Park. I got three rigs behind me. - John? - Yeah, I got it. - Intubated, regular pulse, good sats. - Get Neurosurgery. - Warn CT they'll get busy. -12-year-old boy, dislocated shoulder multiple lacerations. BP, 100/60. Pulse, 120. Hey, I'm Dr. Carter. What's your name? What's that? Okay, we're gonna take care of you. Set me up... Subtitles by SDI Media Group - Yeah! - All right. By the way, I got a line on that apartment I told you about. It's beautiful, man. You should check it out. - Where is it at? - On Ninth Street, between B and C. Man: Carlos, can I see you a minute? I've been going over your drawings. - What do you think? - Good. They remind me a little of Tommy Cashman. Tommy Cashman? Holy fuck. That dude draws some slick shit. How long have you been working on these? About a year. Can you show these to your friend at Gotham Comics? I can... but I'm not going to. But you just said they were good. So is "The Hulk," but I don't have to like it. Your drawings are technically fine, but it just shows that you can copy well, and they've got no soul. I've known you for two years, we've had a hundred conversations-- about comics. You are a passionate dude with deep ideas, so I'm looking at this and thinking, "ls this all you've got to say?" Aliens from Jupiter want to enslave the women of the Earth? Yep! You dumb motheftucker. Cans go in the blue, green is for paper. - What's going on? - I ain't touching those hands. How did it go this morning? David totally dug my shit, man. He might send something over to Gotham Comics. That's excellent. Check it out. It's the Brunswick Monster. - How much did you pay for that? - What does it matter? I predict this ball is gonna add 15 points to my game. Friend: Now all I got to do is get to Vegas. Vegas? The Amateur World Classic is next month, it costs 3,000 to enter, but get this... the purse is a hundred grand. I don't know, Mick... three grand? Aw... Gracias, mi amor. Hey, mi amor! When you're finished playing with the kids, come play with me. Where is the car? I got a guy tuning her up in Yonkers. Going out to the track next weekend. I'm ready for Le Mans. You ready to come with me? Take a chance? - I can't leave the kid by himself. - Excuses, excuses. You're just fooling around with that register. - I have to pay you back, right? - That's right. Good morning! The light, Mag. I'm trying to finish this. - Good morning to you, too. - Hey, hey, muñeca. Buen día. What is it with these space chicks and the hugest tetas I've ever seen in my life? What happened to the eggs? The eggs I asked you to bring home last night? Those eggs? - I guess they're at the bodega. - I guess so. Why don't we go out for breakfast? We haven't done that in a month. - I've got to work. - I thought you were hungry. I am, but-- hey, why don't you get the eggs? I've got to pick up beads for the dress. You can't do me a favor? I got that part for your sewing machine. So? You said you were gonna do that for a month. And then, you finally did it. Ha ha. Big favor. - See you later. - Hey, Mag, wait. Maggie, wait. I don't want you to leave like this, all angry. I'm not angry, I just want to know what's up with you. It's just that I... I don't know what I'm doing with my drawings. David said some shit, yesterday-- you know what, babe? You know what? I'll get the eggs, okay? - Okay? - Really? Yeah. I'll scramble them real nice, like you like them-- with spinach in them-- mm-mmm. - Okay? - Okay. I'll even get the beads. Eddie: Benny Moré? Tito: Sí. Eddie: No hay problema. Viejo, you know she ain't gonna pay you, right? What do you care? I mean she's been coming in here for 12 years. If you divide 98 by 12, it makes $8 a year for her loyalty. Then throw in Señora Rodríguez, Señora Salcedo, Señora García-- Son, we have to have the sense of the community. That's very important. - Tito understands that, right? - Claro. Carlos: Tito understands everything. Woman: You're a day late! Hey, Miss Mercedes. Miss Mercedes! Ah-ah-ah! I need you at the other building. - Can I clean up first? - Later. What's the fucking rush? I told you we have to get these windows in by the end of the month. Why are these cans in with the newspapers? Didn't we have this conversation before? - I posted notices on every floor. - That's not enough. At the end of the day, you're responsible, not the tenant. My man! What's happening? - Maggie, my buddy Mickey. - What's up? - Mickey... and Daisy. - Daisy: Fuck you...! Daisy, what's happening? This is Berna. She draws comics, too. Hi, it's called "Little Coffin Annie." It's Victorian necrophilia pornography. - I've got to go to the girls' room. - Daisy: I'll come with you. - Maggie: Where do we go? - Negotiating hostages in there? Fuck it. I ain't waiting in this line, come on. - We have to wait. - I ain't waiting. I've got to pee. - You're not gonna pee in the sink? - No? - Oh, God. You're so crazy. - I've got to pee. Ah-hh! That's what Mickey says. You know, people are fucking weird here, okay? Did I tell you I got a callback at Gotham? - That's great! - They're interested in my strip. That's-- good for you, man. He's got this comic where this guy gets shrunk to the size of an atom. It's a quark, man. It's a quark. A subatomic particle. How's your thing going? You were gonna show it to David. Oh-- he likes it a lot. - Yeah? - What's it about? - I'm kind of reworking it. - It's fucking awesome. Mickey! You haven't seen it yet, dude. You told me about it. Did you check out that apartment I told you about? Yeah man, it's the shit. Maggie, you got to see this place, it's a railroad flat on Ninth Street and Avenue C. - Ninth Street? - Yeah, baby, it's great. I'm not moving down there. - It's already rented out. - I don't care if it's rented out. I felt like a little pendejita sitting there. I asked Danny 'cause it was an idea, and he looked into it. You even went to go see it. It was beautiful, a gorgeous place with a lot of sunlight. I felt like I could breathe for once in my life. Really? Well, maybe you should go breathe by yourself. I can't be without you. Don't you get it? No, I don't, because you don't talk to me anymore. - I don't know what you're doing. - I was thinking about both of us. You sewing in the back and me drawing in the front, like we dreamed. Like we talked about. We've been here our whole lives. Our whole fucking lives. - Tito: Okay, good night. - Eddie: Good night. Show me the safe. - I take the money every afternoon-- - Show me the safe or I'll shoot. - I don't have a safe. - Show me the safe! Don't shoot me, because it's gonna be worse for you. - Show me the fucking safe! - The rest of your fucking life... See here? The bullet shattered your father's vertebrae right there. It severed the spinal cord. And my guess... is that the gun was fired at close range. - He's lucky to be alive. - So...? He'll never walk again. He's paralyzed from the waist down. Viejo? Viejo? Soy yo. Soy yo, Carlos. When you're working in a bodega, there's this unwritten rule that when some crazy motheftucker walks into the store to rob you, you treat him like he's king, like he has God-given permission to own that fucking bodega. You chill and you smile and you hand him the money, then you throw in a pack of Camels, for the road, on the house. - What are you saying? - I'll bet you that the old man-- talked trash with the asshole who shot him. - Baby, that guy was a nutcase! - He never saw the safe, babe. Okay. The police said the safe was locked. The old man held out on the fucking guy. As plain as day. Carlos, you want another helping? Carlos? Carlos? - You want more ham? - Oh no, I'm fine. Thank you. See you in a couple of days. Mickey, wait. Carlos, there's someone I want you to see. Let's go. Come on, help me clean up. Sean: Six months ago he came to me and asked for a loan, to stay afloat. He shouldn't have been in that position. I shouldn't have given it to him. The thing is, this is not a small loan, 25 grand. Yeah. Come on. There's a bodega on every corner of the Heights, Carlos. What makes Eddie's profitable? Eddie! Why is Eddie in debt? Eddie. If he sells the place, I get my money back, and I'm not forced to have this conversation. We both know he ain't gonna sell it. We both know he ain't gonna be able to work it for quite some time... if ever! The way I see out of this, for all of us... is you take over. The bodega, it's a cash cow. You're his kin. People would keep coming in, 'cause they associate you with your old man. Maybe you should hang with las viejas on 190th. Why are you looking at me like that? Doctor says you're getting out of here soon. They set you up with a daytime nurse for a couple of months. I spoke to the insurance lady. I put a little extra in to get you through the next few weeks. - Gracias. - You've got a real gift, Carlos. Don't let go of that. - Put me down, carajo! - I got you. - Put me down, coño! - I got you. Nice! Let's get some light in here. Better, right? You have some nice plants here, Mr. Eddie. Let me knot it for you. They could use some water. Let's take this jug. Carlos: Turn it, dude. You're gonna break the window. - Mickey: Stop fucking bitching. - Carlos: What did I tell you? - Daisy: You'll hit the walls. - Shit. It's fucking heavy. Daisy: Why don't you leave it here? You'll be back in two weeks. Don't you dare, I'll beat your ass up. All right, Mr. Eddie-- I will see you mañana. Yes? Around 7:00? You forgot the Yankees cup at the hospital, so bring it back, tomorrow. - I forgot your Yankees cup? - Yes, you did. Bring it tomorrow. All right, you two have a good night. Take care. - See you later. - I like her. Eddie: Carlos? Carlos! What's up? - I shit myself. - What? I said, I shit myself. Throw that shit away. He ain't dead. Carlos: Hey, hey, hey! Hey kids, kids! Kids, take it outside with the water. Take it outside with the water! Hello? Go. Hey, take it outside with the water. - "Regular." - Okay, "Regular." Ay, no. Dame "Lights." "Lights." You still need 30¢. - I'll pay you back. - Ah, señora, sorry. - No more loans. - But Eddie said... Forget Eddie, doña. No money. No loans. Entiende? Have a good day! Why don't you clean up the back or something? Okay, "Boss"! Ay, coño! - She's crazy! - Let's take him back up, guys. You see, she's speaking in tongues! Cuidado, coño! Cuidado, carajo! Let's go! - Anybody listening to me? - Eddie: Let's go. To the left. That's it. Yeah! Sean: You did a good job on the building, son. Mickey: You know the tournament? You know the bowling tournament in Vegas? Not that again. It's an investment. No. It's not an investment, it's a $5,000 vacation. It's for the tournament. It costs 3,000 to enter, I've got to have some money to fly out there-- for food and a hotel. It's not like on five Gs I'm gonna be able to get fancy. You know, this bowling thing of yours... it's making you look like a sucker. What kills me is... there's no one even trying to talk you into it. It's just you. Excuse me, excuse me. Look, here. Somebody take your boy-- take your son and gone. - Take your father and him gone. - Carlos: What? ! - What happened? - Some boys took your father-- and I don't know where he went. Coño! Tito, take care of the register, I'll be right back. It's not my fault. I don't know where he is. "Santa María, Madre de Dios... ruega por nosotros, pecadores..." - You're funny. I swear you think about Mom more now than when she was alive. She understands. That's what you're looking for? Understanding? Tell it to someone else, 'cause she ain't listening. She is listening, believe me. She's listening. Mamá... Eddie is still fucking every woman he can get his hands on, except now, he has given them all his money too. *... Ay, amor, no me dejes vivir * Lleva en ti todo mi desconsuelo * * Y también mi canción de sufrir * Si sólo queda en mi dolor y vida * * Ay, amor... * * No me dejes... * * Vivir * * No me dejes vivir. * You used to sing that song to Mamá. Carlos, put me to bed. - Bride: I think it looks cute. - Daisy: Red... - red, red... - Looks kind of cute, right? - I think so. - Oh my God! - Maggie: There! - You look like an angel. - That looks pretty good, right? - Bride: Yeah. As long as I don't eat a piece of food for a month, I'll be fine. Yeah, I thought you said you wore a size six. Daisy: She was a size six. Like 12 years ago, right? - Hey-- yo, that ain't funny. Shit. - I'm sorry. Maggie: Don't be like that. You know you look gorgeous. Daisy: You do, you're beautiful. - Hey, Carlos. - Hi, baby! Bride: I said, uh! The bitch is four feet tall. And her man is supposed to have... - Maggie: Here you go. -...a 10-inch dick! Baby? - You're sure? - No. Do you want some of this, Carlos? - No. I'm not into that shit. What are you into? Are you sure? - I'm out of here. - Carlos? Where are you going? - Carlos: Out. - But-- Carlos, wait! What's up with you? I'll catch you tomorrow, all right? If you told me a month ago I'd be running my pop's bodega, I'd say you were smoking crack. If you had told me when we were in high school that I'd be the super of our building... I'd told you that you were having some kind of psychotic episode. That shit is not even funny, man. And you know what the thing of it is? - What? - I'm a pretty good super. Don't take this the wrong way, but it ain't that hard, man. It can be hard, you dumb fuck! You've got to have all sorts of different management skills, you've got to know how to deal with all sorts of different people, you got to know your accounting, and I recycle. Don't forget: "Always recycle." "Blue goes with cans. Green goes with paper." Don't mix it with the fucking plastic. Don't forget. - Oh, shit! - My ball! - Carlos: Come here. - Oh, thank you. Carlos: Oh, you stupid fucker! On weekends, me and Daisy got this thing, where she calls me-- to fix stuff in her apartment, and I go up, and we have sex. I mean, if her mother's not home, you know? - But, who else gets paid to fuck? - Ho's. People, watch my shit. Everybody on the floor! Hey, bruja! You better not be drinking out of the bottle, you know how Carlos hates that. Carlos? That nigga ain't here. Which one of your hooker friends is this one for? You should let me know, so I could roll up and fuck her. Sometimes I wonder how we come from the same two people. Get the fuck outta here. We both got a talent for merchandising. Merchandising? Is that what you're calling it? Merchandising? Why don't you let a nigga set you up? Set you up with a little shop. We can keep all your shit there. Because I can take care of all my shit right here in my house. It's all right, hermanita. One day, I'm gonna open you up a store, when you come back with me to the D.R., en la Calle del Sol, we could call it "Maggie's." Yeah? Give it to Darlene. Are you trippin'? You know Carlos ain't gonna take care of your ass. Like everybody else in this motherfucker-- out for himself. You know what, hermanito? Why don't you support your kids... y déjame de joder? I was looking out for my little sister. Carlos: This place is starting to look like a dump. - Why don't you take some boxes away? - Okay, boss. Don't call me that. Wow! Where do you guys get this from? It's beautiful. You know that can of paint up front, the white one? Yes. Why don't you go get it and paint over that shit? Everybody gonna like this. It gives some cultural stuff to the store and the kids love that. I drew that. Eight years ago. My mom used to watch me every afternoon. Altogether, it took about... a month. Why you want to take it down? - 'Cause it's bullshit. - It's beautiful. You said your mom liked it, I'm sure your dad-- Why don't you cover that shit? You put a part of yourself into the store-- What are you...? I did that shit for my father, he covered that shit and now you want to uncover it? When I come back, this shit better be gone. Stop! - Yo! Ten cuidado, coño. - Watch where you're going. Right, right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, chau. - Hey. - Hey. What's up, Carlos? - He's coming along. - Yeah? Yeah. Owner: Oye, those are selling fantastic, bro'! - Good. - You want it? - I'll take those. - Okay. * Amor, yo sé que quieres * * Llevarte mi ilusión * * Amor, yo sé que puedes también... * * Llevarte mi alma Pero, ay, amor * * Si te llevas mi alma * * Llévate de mi... * * También el dolor * * Lleva en ti todo mi desconsuelo * * Y también mi canción de sufrir * Carlos, are you still here? I got to be downtown. No, you've got to be at Hunt's Point at 9:00 in the morning, Carlos. - I can't go, viejo. - You have to go. Take! We're still sharing the truck with Pancho en la 173. - Viejo, I can't go. - You have to go, Carlos. You can ruin your life with your muñequita, but you're not gonna ruin my bodega! - You have to go, take the keys. So I worked on a new color for this guy. That's a great color. I've got to show you something. I just finished these panels, I wanted to know what you thought. Jenny, go work on this. We'll talk about this, okay? You all right? How you've been? Hey, Carlos? How have you been? - You all right? - I'm fine. Fine. All right, what do you got here? So, what do you think? It's good! Good. Good. - I based that one on the old man. - How is he? He's fine. Listen... can you show these to your friend at Gotham Comics? Who, Raquel? - Yeah. - Are you sure you're ready? 'Cause you only get one chance with her, you know that. These are good. Raquel:...which I assume is how you got the idea for this. They're based on the Dominicans who fought for La Independencia. - Los Gavilleros? - Yeah. They fought the US with a guerilla waftare for four years. For me, it's just another way of talking about sugar. That's what the Gavilleros were fighting over-- foreign companies buying property from people who don't even own it, then kicking the campesinos off their land. Anyway, that's how I got the concept for "Europa." Carlos... I've got to be honest with you. I really like what you did. - Really? - I love it! And it couldn't come in a more peftect time, because I just lost a series. The artist was brilliant, but he was terribly depressed and he could never work. And I had to find something to fill the book in our slate. - Okay! - Great! How soon can you finish? - You never gonna believe it. - What? - You've got to guess. - I don't know. You won the lotto? - I asked Daisy to marry me. - Get the fuck outta here! I asked her to marry me and she said yes. I am high as a motheftucker right now. Dude, do you know what you're doing? Of course I know. I know I say shit sometimes, but that's just me being stupid. I'm getting fucking married, bro'. Yo-- all right then, well, shit! We should celebrate. I have no champagne, so here... this will have to do. Here you go. Drink away, man! When is the big day? All right. You know that I like... there's this bowling tournament in Las Vegas, I wanted to go to, so I figure... I'll just take care of everything at once. Like, I got a thousand dollars saved up already, all I need is like... 4,000 more dollars. Please, don't ask me for money, bro'. - Not from you, from the store. - I can't do it, man. You told me the other day how much you're taking in a week. - You don't understand. - I'll pay you back. - It's not that. - Then, what? - There's some shit you don't know. - What? What I don't know? Right now, for all intents and purposes, your father owns la bodega. - Get the fuck out of here! - Mickey, I ain't fucking around. Why do you think I took over the store? - You think I want to run this? - No, but your papá... Yo, listen man. Your father told me I had no choice, Eddie's into him for 25 fucking grand. How is he gonna give your father 25 grand, and he's not gonna give me nothing? What the fuck! Look, chill, man. Here-- it's not much-- a couple of hundred. Why don't you take? - Take it. - It's okay. It's okay, man. I'll figure it out. Mickey! Hey... remember when you were talking about moving downtown? - Carlos: Um-hmm. - Maggie: Maybe we should do that. - Say what? - I mean, after Eddie gets better, - and things straighten out with Sean. - That could take some time. - We're like a team, right? - Yeah. Like Paul and Belkis. Yeah. Yeah. About me? What, Darlene? You learned that word yesterday? Fuck you, Darlene, all right? - What's up, Angel? - Pon la luz aquí también. - Deja la luz. - This bitch, bro'. Trying to convince me she wasn't with some other nigga-- - Can't this wait until later? - No, it can't wait! That bitch is trying to take money out of my fist. That's it! Out. Get out! Wait. Darlene's busting you for child's support? She's trying to tell me this Chinese-eyed motheftucker is my kid. - Angel: That's bullshit! - Un plato, and that's it. Shitty day, man. How is your kid in Santo Domingo doing? What, Junior? My real kid? Good, man. I can't wait. Save my money, soon as I get my 60 Gs, getting the fuck outta here. Go back to the D.R., live with him and Carmen. I'm gonna open me a bike shop. Stay with my tío in Baitoa, just till I get hooked up. He got a farm, and when you're done working all day, you go lay on this hammock, next to the pond. You just lay there, bro'. You let the breeze hit your face. You're chillin' with your boxers off, and the wind kissing your balls... Maggie: Darlene is only asking for 600 a month. Angel: Guess how much she's getting? Zero dollars. The thing of it is, that bitch rats me out, I'm as good as back in lockup. That's why I don't trust nobody. That's why I don't get no mail at my house, - I ain't got money in no bank. - He's got over 40 grand hidden. - Maggie, what the fuck? ! - Why don't you give Carlos money? - ¿Tú estás loca? - As a loan to get back the bodega. - Maggie! - This could be a way out of here. You heard what he said, he needs that money. You were gonna give me that money to open my own space. Shut the fuck up, you're family. Carlos isn't family? He'll pay you back. It's my business, I can take care of it, okay? People buggin' out around me today. Later, bro'. You got a big fucking mouth, and I ain't got no money. Where did you put them? Where'd you put them? I'm tired of your fucking bullshit game, viejo. Where are my fucking drawings? Carlos... I should be the one that would be making the questions here. How many gallons of milk did you deliver today? How many cases of aguacate? Yuca? - Plátanos? Café? - I don't fucking know. That's what you should be worrying about. Where are my drawings, man? Maybe I burned them. Maybe I threw them in the Hudson. Maybe I broke them in pieces like this. What are you gonna do about it, huh? What are you going to do about it? You're wasting your time, Carlos. The gringos are not going to print your fucking drawings! Carlos: I want you to tell me what you see. I can't see, Carlos. I don't have my glasses. You can see. You don't want to see. Tell me what you see! Carlos: And why haven't you arrested her? Maybe we should have, but we can't now, not without the letter. Oh. We couldn't go in and search the hotel without compromising our man, which we'd rather not do. But you and your officers-- you have every reason to go over the place. Well, we've already done that and found the gun that we were looking for. I'm sure you could find a reason to do it again. I thought we'd already searched this place once. Yes, we have. What are you looking for now? A letter. To whom? To giuseppe bastianini. Who's he? He's the Italian ambassador. Is he a suspect? I only asked. This is an outrage. I'm warning you. I have powerful friends in London. You'll hear more of this. [Door shuts] [Door opens] You're going through a lady's room. No gentleman would behave this way. No, you're right. But then again, murder isn't a very gentlemanly business, miss harwood. I can't imagine what you hope to find. It seems on the night of the murder, you left the room before the shots were fired. Who told you that? I have nothing to hide. I hate the dark, I always have. It's like claustrophobia. As soon as the lights went out, I had to get back here. In the dark? I told you. I wasn't thinking. I just had to get out. Just a minute. Foyle, is this the way your men amuse themselves? I've had enough of this. I'm not gonna be pushed around by some bloody stuffed shirt. I want to leave. Still not possible, I'm afraid. Fleming: I said, I want to go! Officer, arrest this man. Thank you. What? ! Fleming: Thank you for that. I take it you didn't find anything. No sign of it, I'm afraid. But she might, of course, have panicked and got rid of it. Well, I doubt it. It's too valuable, and taking the letter in the first place was too much of a risk. I'm surprised Spencer hasn't, um-- let's go in here--hasn't mentioned it to you. He still trusts you, doesn't he? Well, he's told me he's got it. He's just not saying what he's done with it. He likes to play these things close to his chest. Well, it's certainly not in the hotel. We'll just have to keep looking. So, what about the shooting? You think Margaret Ellis was the target? Do you? Well, there was nobody in the room who had any reason to kill her... Except Arthur Ellis, perhaps. He didn't have it in him. The son? Perhaps. He could have opened the door. But how would he have been able to see to take aim? I'll tell you one thing, though. I happen to know for a fact that Mrs. Ellis changed her will hours before she died. She added a codicil leaving half her money, and that includes half the hotel, to the Friday club. All for the cause. Spencer persuaded her, do you think? He's good at that sort of thing. It's not the first time either. He was arrested 5 years ago-- intimidation, embezzlement. He's got his hooks into your sergeant, too, for that matter. I'd watch out, if I were you. Well, they certainly met in London. Rather more than that. They had dinner together after the meeting. Spencer's taken him very much under his wing. [Telephone rings] [Ring] Excuse me. [Ring] Foyle: Mr. Lane. Ian: You've got my boy locked up. Well, he ran away. He was off to London. He was afraid of you! He's no criminal. Well, assault, drunk and disorderly, skipped bail, did borstal--August to November last year. That was then. It hasn't been easy for him living on his own with me. He lost his mother when he was 9. She ran off. It's just been two of us. And yes, he mixed with the wrong set and became a cropper with the law. You people never forget. Won't let him forget neither. It's a bit more than that, isn't it? He was seen at the hotel on the night of the murder, which means he could easily have been the one who took the gun and shot Mrs. Ellis. He never shot anyone. All right, he shouldn't have gone up there. He hasn't got it in him. You take it from me. I want him back. I'm afraid you're going to have to wait. No, you don't understand. I need him now. They're asking for boats-- fishing boats, ferries, clippers, you name it. We're going across where the army's stuck with the Germans bombing them and tanks moving in and God knows what. They've put together a whole fleet of boats. And we're going over there, and we're going to bring back our boys. It's already begun. They say there were nearly 30,000 of them saved yesterday, and there's going to be 30,000 more today. I can pick up 20 men in my boat. A drop in the ocean, you'd say? But there's hundreds of boats all along the coast doing the same-- hundreds and hundreds of them. Only I can't do it without David. Lady rose is too much for me to handle on my own. So you have to let him go so we can leave together. You let my boy out, and I promise you-- I swear on everything I hold sacred-- I'll bring him back to you. I won't let him run away. We'll do this journey. We'll go there, we'll come back, and then you can keep him for as long as you need, as long as it takes you to realize that he's innocent-- as innocent as you or me. [Men shouting commands] Dunkirk. Do you think you'll ever see him again? Foyle: Yes. He'll be back. [Horn blows] [Horn blows] [Horn blows] 2 of diamonds. 2 no trumps. 3 spades. Pass. Pass. Pass. 3 spades it is, then. Ahh, I can't help you much, I'm afraid. Ahh, for God's sake. How much longer can they keep us here? Till after tea, anyway. Arthur, you think you should be working after everything that's happened? No, no. I have to keep busy. Yes, of course. You and I have business to discuss about your late wife's affairs. What? Seems we're going to be in partnership. That's not-- when the Germans arrive, the high command, we'll be able to put them up here at the hotel. We're near enough to the coast. They won't arrive. I don't know why you're kidding yourselves. The Jewish plot-- everyone knows it's not true. Stanley. No, dad. I'm fed up with it. I'm fed up with the lot of them. If the Germans were going to invade, they'd have been here days ago. You do know that the Belgians have capitulated? Yes. But we'll fight on. That's what Mr. Churchill says, and I believe him. I think you must be insane, father, if you believe what these people say. They're sick. And they don't know a thing. [Door slams] These notes are very good, very thorough, milner. Thank you, sir. I'm afraid they don't tell us the one thing that we need to know-- who fired the shots. Or why they were fired in the dark. And if Spencer was the actual target... That's very likely. Why wait for an after-dinner meeting when everyone's around? Easier and less risky to wait until he's left or leaving the hotel or even gone up to his room and shoot him while he's asleep. Yes, I know. I wondered about that. Why wait for the exact moment when the lights go out? Because you can't be seen. Well, you can't see either. How do you know you're getting the right target? You spoke to woolton? Yes, it was his gun, but I don't believe for a second he fired it. And it was thrown away, wasn't it? He'd have taken it with him. How about David Lane, sir? He could have taken the gun, made his way through the hotel. Maybe the lights went out just as he was about to fire. They were all in the room, the room was blacked out, the door was closed. Stanley was sitting right outside. Then he'd have seen him. Exactly. What about Stanley Ellis? He wasn't exactly fond of his mother. What's the opposite of an oedipus complex, do you think? Sir? He was reading Freud, who said the aim of all life is death--matricide. Could he really have killed his mother? These, um... Background notes on Spencer: Well-connected-- journalism, treasurer for the friends of national Spain. No criminal convictions? No. None that I could find. What do you make of him? I'm not sure. I'd say a man has to be quite brave to hold the opinions he does, especially at a time like this. You admire him? I don't think he's a fool. I mean, you read the medical report of... Isaac wolf, the man who got beaten up? I don't think you can blame Spencer for that, sir. He knew nothing about it. How do you know? He told me... And I believe him. Margaret Ellis' will-- he had the most to gain from it. I still think that Spencer was the likely target, sir. All right. [Clock ticking] Sam: Arthur Ellis-- who'd want to kill him? Foyle: I don't know, but you probably do. My guess is, he probably saw something. That's what always happens. He sees something, then the killer has to silence him before he can say what he knows. How is he? His heart had stopped. It was touch and go for a while, but we managed to revive him. They're just getting him to hospital. And what was it? Veronal, I'd say. Some sort of sleeping draft, anyway, in his whisky. Who found him? His son. All right. My father was late coming down to breakfast, so I went to call him. I found him lying on the bed fully dressed, and at first, I thought he must have had some sort of heart attack. I don't know. Did he often have whisky before bedtime? I don't know. This your dad's? Yes. He didn't smoke it much. And, um... And you say you... Haven't... Touched anything? No. I thought he was dead. I called the police. Well, for... Someone whose mother's been murdered and father's been poisoned, you seem remarkably unaffected. What would you like me to do, cry? I never liked my parents. My mother was cruel and stupid. What she said about the Nazis and the rest made me sick. My father... Was scared of her, totally under her thumb. It was her place, you see. No, you have no idea what it was like living here. It's always the same. If you had read Freud, you'd know how much damage your parents do to you. It starts... Even before you're born. Ah, yes, you read, uh... Yes. I wanted to study psychoanalysis. I wanted to go to university. They wouldn't let me. Well, Stanley, lying is never very clever, but lying to a police officer is a very serious offense. I'm not lying. Everything I've told you is the truth. Mr. Ellis? Yes. How are you feeling, Mr. Ellis? Can you tell me what happened? You don't know? Well, you didn't leave a note. No. Whisky and a sleeping draft-- it's fairly evident you tried to take your own life. Why was that? Isn't it obvious? Not to me. People had the wrong impression about Peggy. She was a strong woman, opinionated. But they don't understand. I'd been married to her for 22 years. She was everything to me... Everything. Stanley is 22? Yes. We were courting when Peggy found she was expecting, so, yes, I did the decent thing. But that doesn't change anything. I'd have married her anyway. I loved her, always did. Were you aware of the changes your wife made to her will? Spencer is a swine. I tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn't listen to me, and so now... Half the hotel. How do you expect me to go on living when... Everything I care about has been taken away from me? Do you cure your own meat at the hotel? What's that got to do with anything? Would I be right in thinking that? I don't know. Yes. Margaret was in charge of the kitchen. Thank you. Christopher, I'm afraid I've got some bad news. Sir Ernest bannerman, the mp at the white feather, he's managed to pull rank. He's made some phone calls, and the long and the short of it is I had to release the lot. Ok. They've all gone? Yes, they went this morning, except Spencer. He's here, and he wants to talk to you. All right. How can I help you, Mr. Spencer? You're holding my assistant, and unless you're going to charge him, I'd like to have him back. You're very welcome to him. Just a minute. I haven't finished yet. Are you any closer to finding out who killed Margaret Ellis, or, for that matter, who tried to kill her husband--Arthur? I want you to know that I shall be making an official complaint-- arresting fleming, keeping me detained for 3 full days. I think you've acted well beyond your authority, Mr. foyle. Sorry, sir. It was normal procedure. Normal or not, it was unnecessary and inconvenient. Have you finished now, Mr. Spencer? I'm a politician, Mr. foyle. And the way you've treated me, I think you have forgotten that I am the leader of a legitimate organization with legitimate views, even if you don't agree with them. But I'd like you to know that I am just as much a patriot as you are. I love our country. But it is possible to believe that this war with Hitler is misguided. Poles and Czechs, they're Jewish interests, not British. I know what you believe. I don't think you do. I doubt that you know, for example, that the first 2 British pilots shot down over Germany were black shirts. The kiel raid at the end of last year-- they were both mosley's men. And sir Ernest bannerman, mp-- I suppose you would call him a crank and a traitor. Well, he served in the first war. He was a member of the north Russian relief force in 1919. Right now, he has a son serving in northern France. You have a son serving with the raf. Are you prepared to lose him, to see him slaughtered simply because Hitler invaded Poland? I'll take you to Mr. fleming. Thank you, milner. You see, we're not so different, you and I. We would both welcome an end to this war. By the way, you will let me have that book back if you've finished with it, won't you? Sir... [Distant gunfire and men shouting commands] [Airplane] Your unit number? I need your name, rank, and regiment... [Men speaking indistinctly] I'll see if I can help, sir, if that's all right. Go ahead. [Airplanes] [Speaking indistinctly] I didn't expect to see you here. Well, they told me you were back. And you thought you'd come for David before he scarpered. No. I've come to tell you that I know he had nothing to do with the murder. We picked up 15 of our boys... 15... And there were thousands of them there. You've never seen anything like it-- white sand stretching out for Miles... Ships everywhere-- hundreds of them. Motorboats, trawlers. Picking up 15 here and 15 there. You know, we're gonna get the army out of there. We're gonna do it. There were bodies. You saw them on the beaches. And as we went in there, the Germans were coming after us-- stukas, dorniers. I was lucky, though. There was some sort of refinery burning and the smoke-- it protected us for a while. Where is David? I told you I'd bring him back to you. Here he is. He waded in the water to help someone out. He was helping them onto the boat-- they're here. They made it home. But he took a bullet. It came out of I don't know where, and... He was as near to me as you are, and I saw the light go out of his eyes. But I said I'd bring him back, and I brought him back, even though it meant taking up space that could have been used by someone else. Here he is. Edith: Dead? Foyle: Yes. I'm very sorry. But why? He weren't a soldier. The war was nothing to do with him. Why did he have to go? Well, he believed it was right. Edith, whatever Margaret Ellis has told you, there isn't going to be a German invasion now, not today, not tomorrow, perhaps not ever. How did she frighten you into cutting the wires? She didn't. What did she say was going to happen to you when the Germans came? Nothing. She knew, didn't she? She knew that your grandmother is Jewish? She said I wouldn't be allowed to work anymore. She said I'd be put in a camp... [Sobbing] That she wanted to look after me, but first, I'd have to prove myself... Do something to show I was on her side. I didn't think it would matter that much. I knew it was wrong. I thought someone would find them and mend them. [Edith sobbing] I didn't think I was being a traitor. I was just so scared. What will happen to me? Will they hang me? Will I go to prison? No. Don't have a case to answer. You're free to go. Well, thank you. It's ok. You're not going to forget David, are you? No. 'Cause he was right, wasn't he? Yeah. [Birds chirping] You should understand, Stanley, that you could go to prison. But I haven't done anything. Yes, you have. You've lied to me, a police officer, and obstructed the course of justice. No, I didn't. You told me you hadn't touched anything when you went into your father's room, which isn't true, is it? You took your father's suicide note. No. There was pen and paper up there on the desk. And when I visited him in hospital, he was as surprised as I was that the note hadn't been found. What did you do with it? I destroyed it. Why? To... Protect him. Suicide is against the law. Well that's another lie, isn't it? I mean, what did it say? I won't tell you. I can't. Arthur... You feeling any better? Yes. Thanks. Arthur, I'm sorry to have to tell you that I'm here to arrest you for the murder of your wife. That's absurd! The husband who loves his wife so much that he'd rather kill himself than live without her is a little way off the truth, isn't it? It's true! Peggy was the backbone of my life. Arthur, Arthur, you hated her. Your son knew it, everyone knew it. Probably often dreamed of killing her, didn't you? But you never had the nerve, because everyone also knew that you were terrified of her. And as the coward at the white feather, you rather resented being something of a local joke until, of course, you began to believe that the world was about to change. What do you mean? That a Nazi invasion of england would cause so very much disruption that there'd be no effective police force and no law, as such. There would be no reason and nobody to investigate an insignificant... Little murder at a countryside hotel. Spencer believed in the invasion, your wife believed in the invasion, and, ironically, as it turned out, she convinced you. And, uh... It was the night of Spencer's talk, wasn't it, that Stanley... Told you about the gun, didn't he? Stanley, voice-over: I was in room 6 just now, Mr. woolton's room. What were you doing there? Guess what I found. What? What did you find? Tell me. Foyle, voice-over: You thought you could make it look as if Spencer was the actual target, and your wife had been hit accidentally, which is why you arranged for it to happen in the dark, by leaving all the lights on in all the rooms as you turned down the beds, which overloaded the fuse box. But then you had to be sure that you could actually hit your wife and not Spencer. I take no pleasure in so many young lives... Foyle, voice-over: Spencer said that during his speech, you were fiddling with your pipe, but, you see, Stanley told me that you hardly ever smoked. It was... Potassium nitrate you used in the pipe, saltpeter, which is used, of course, in gunpowder, but it's also used to cure meat, which is why you had a supply of it in the hotel. And it acted as an oxidizing agent, and it... Added to the tobacco and made it glow. You lit the pipe while Spencer was making his speech. I take no pleasure in so many young lives being sacrificed on the altar of politics. The British government has misled us long enough. What's going on? I'm so sorry, everyone. It's a fuse. Do sit down. Arthur? Foyle, voice-over: And when the lights went out, you put it directly in front of Margaret so you could use the glow as the target. Aah! Aah! Foyle, voice-over: You got rid of the gun as quickly as you could. It wasn't yours anyway. And after that, you were biding your time until... The invasion. But it never came. Stanley, voice-over: I don't know why you're kidding yourselves. The Jewish plot-- everyone knows it's not true. Stanley. No, dad. I'm fed up with it. I'm fed up with the lot of them. If the Germans were going to invade, they'd have been here days ago. Foyle: No invasion, and you panicked. You were going to be found out after all, and you decided to... Take the easy way out. Yes. I wanted to kill myself. And Stanley destroyed your suicide note, understandably. A fascist for a mother, a killer for a father-- not shining examples of parental guidance. No wonder he was reading Freud. What will happen to me? You'll be tried for murder, Arthur. I loathed her, you know... And the scum she brought to the hotel. Didn't give you the right to kill her. Please tell Stanley I'm sorry. Tell him... I wish I'd been a better father. I think he knows. Yes. Milner, sit down. Congratulations on the arrest. Ellis has signed a full confession, so I suppose that's that. Why didn't you tell me about your association with Spencer? I told you we'd met. You told me you'd wandered into one of his meetings. You didn't tell me you then went and had dinner with him. I didn't think it was relevant. Principal suspect in a murder inquiry-- of course it was relevant. He didn't commit the murder. Well, we didn't know that then. In your notes about him, there's no mention of his arrest for embezzlement. Was that irrelevant, too? He was acquitted. That's by the way. But more than this, more even than your apology to him in front of me, and something that I take to be a personal betrayal, is that you talked to him about me. He knew I had a son in the raf, and he could have only got that from you, isn't that right? I did speak to him, yes. And I'm sorry if I betrayed any confidences. But I never said anything lacking in respect. Speaking to him at all was a lack of respect and a lack of judgment. I'm astonished you can't see beyond the front of these people. Do you really believe what these people--Spencer and the Friday club--have to say? No! You don't have any idea what's it's been like since Norway, how I feel. I'm not asking for any special favors, and I--I don't want your sympathy. But I don't understand why it happened, and I don't understand what it was for. At least Spencer made me feel like he was on my side and that I'm not to blame for it all. He had a reason. There was a reason, milner. What do you mean? I don't agree with his views, but guy Spencer is a good man. Milner, I'm sorry to have to disillusion you, but... Is this the book he lent you? "The protocols of the elders of zion-- how the Jews plan to overthrow christianity and conquer the world." Have you read it? No. Are you anti-semitic? No! Is Hitler right doing what he's doing to the Jews? No! You don't understand. I just wanted the facts. Spencer gave them to you? While he was at the hotel, Spencer took possession of a letter smuggled out of whitehall and given to him by a traitor--Rosemary harwood, and given to him in the hope that he'd pass it on to the enemy. After the murder, Spencer was trapped. He had the letter, but he didn't know what to do with it. He gave it to you because you were the one person at the hotel we wouldn't dream of searching. After the investigation, you'd send it back to him, and he'd pass it on to the Germans. Do you want my resignation? No, I don't want your resignation. That's the last thing I want. I can't do this bloody godforsaken job on my own. What I want is to forget all of this happened and, more importantly, for you, starting now, to be with me 100%. In spite of whatever problems you're going through, it's important that you and me and Sam are able to trust each other and we're on the same side. Is that understood? Yes, sir. Understood. Good. That's all. Radio: We've known them and laughed at them, these fussy little steamers, all our lives. We've called them the "shilling sicks." We've watched them load and unload their crowds of holiday passengers, the gents full of high spirits and bottled beer, the ladies eating pork pies, the children sticky with peppermint rock. But now, look. This little steamer, like all her brave and battered sisters, is immortal. She'll go sailing proudly down the years in the epic of dunkirk. And our great grandchildren, when they learn how we began this war-- by snatching glory out of defeat and then swept on to victory, may also learn how the little holiday steamers made an excursion to hell and came back glorious. Man: I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth, and though after my skin, worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh, shall I see God. And I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold... I've got a son the same age. Aelwyn, the roman soldiers... They're coming? Up the plain. Hundreds. Then today will be a good day to die. What about the astronomicons? We must remove them to the sanctuary. Gather our brothers. Go. [drumming] My blood is on your hands. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer! Murderer! [heart beating] { Advertisement } {pos(192,200)}Everything seems to be in order. {pos(192,200)}Yeah, just no paper comes out. {pos(192,200)}None at all? {pos(192,200)}[beeping] {pos(192,200)}See. {pos(192,200)}[beeping] I tried that before {pos(192,200)}I called the service guy. {pos(192,200)}Well it wasn't meant as a criticism. {pos(192,180)}You try setting up temporary office {pos(192,180)}Everywhere syd goes to lecture. {pos(192,180)}You do a great job, {pos(192,200)}I... You do. {pos(192,200)}Thank you. {pos(192,200)}It's usually just a bit {pos(192,200)}Of paper stuck in the... {pos(192,200)}Oh. {pos(192,200)}One... {pos(192,200)}Two... {pos(192,200)}Three. {pos(192,200)}[whirring] {pos(192,200)}I'll cancel the service guy. {pos(192,200)}Good morning. {pos(192,200)}Morning. {pos(192,200)}Do I... Sense a slight case {pos(192,200)}Of undergraduate- seminar-itis? No, I had that dream again last night. Da veiga, two nights running? Yeah, talk about your Midnight horror double feature. I don't know what's wrong with me. It must be the jet lag. You have been immersed in all this Druid research recently. Yeah. Plus, you said yourself You're over- tired. Yeah. (nigel:) yeah. Yeah. So, what's up with you and da veiga? What? Dreaming about him like that, It's got to mean something. What are you talking about? (karen:)come on, two nights in a row? Dreams are our subconscious working out What we can't, or won't, awake. So mom used to tell me. The last time we saw da veiga He was chasing us through the jungle with a pistol. What's to work out? (karen:)you're not sure he survived, Are you? (syd:)nigel, run! [struggling] [explosion] (nigel:)syd, syd. (karen:)are you okay? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Um... Did you set up our first meeting? Yeah, gareth watson, The druid expert At bristol polytechnic. He sent this fax confirming. Meet him in his office. [♪] You're not really taking any of her Pop psychology mumbo jumbo to heart, are you? Keep the change, thanks. I must admit, We're still a little unclear As to the connection between dreams And the subconscious mind. (andreas:)professor fox? Yes? Gareth watson. I was expecting someone a little older. Uh... You must be nigel. Bailey. Shall we head inside? I'd like to throw you a bit Of a curve, I'm afraid. I have a contact who called me To come and meet him. But we just got here. He offered to show me a map To the druid astronomicons. So I'd like to make the same offer to you. Don't tell me You're not interested. In the keys to stonehenge? Sure. I'm sorry to be so last-minute. My contact just called me himself. Shall we? Yeah. A map to the astronomicons... They've been lost for 2000 years. [♪] Excuse me. Gareth watson is signing books here, Today? I'm a huge fan. He's downstairs. Gareth watson? Yes. Hi. Hello. I'm karen. In fact, there was an expedition Mounted by hadrian in 121 a.D., But by the time his legions Got to salisbury plain, The druids had hidden them. And no roman histories of gaul Give the slightest hint whether or not Any other evidence was ever found. But... If there is a map, It'll be the most extraordinary find Since they very rarely used parchment. You don't suppose it's on oak bark, do you? He's not due until 10:13. How did your colleague Come by this map anyway? He isn't my colleague. He's an agent of the gural nataz. How are they involved? In 60 seconds, A courier dressed in a blue trench coat, Carrying a titanium briefcase Will step off the train And step through those doors. A car will meet him at the curb. We will have the time that it takes him To reach the curb to intercept him. Steal from the gural nataz? Are you crazy? Probably. But letting a priceless relic Fall into their hands is not something I'm willing to let happen. I'm betting you feel the same. No way, it's too risky. As risky as stealing back The pendant of tuthankhamen From their stronghold in izmir? Or of causing the arrest of An entire gural nataz cell in malta? The details of how we recovered That pendant were never made public. Be that as it may... Professor, his train's on time. In 30 seconds we'll lose a chance to strike A blow to the very heart of the gural nataz. If this is a setup, You won't even have to worry about The gural nataz... I'll take care of you myself. Now what are we supposed to do With this guy once we grab him? (andreas:)the courier has the map Inside the briefcase. Sydney. Come on. Excuse me. Sorry. Change of plans. We'll take it from here. [♪] (syd:) thanks. Got a knife? His contact probably has the key to that. (andreas:) no, I do. [♪] [sirens] I don't think anyone followed us. What's the combination? 0-5-0. All the numbers left to right. Once we get this thing open, I have a few questions for you. Like where you get your information. Oh my god. { Advertisement } (syd:)you're the answer man, watson. I don't know. You don't know? This wasn't in my information. Did you dial the numbers correctly? Yes. I don't suppose you have the number For a bomb disposal unit? Alright. We can't just leave the map here. A man who worked for My father's construction company Showed me how to do this once. Defuse a bomb? It beat colouring books. Don't worry, she has a fabulous memory For things she did as a child. Actually, he taught me how to Wire a charge, never defuse it. But it should work the same in reverse, Don't you think? Okay, step back. There's enough c4 in there To blow the roof of the building off. Okay, you've got to isolate your wires. Blue, red, yellow, White and black. Black's your power source. Of course, it could also be red. (nigel:)it's blue. In every action movie, The hero always cuts the blue wire. You want to risk our lives On information you got from the movies? 20 seconds... 19... White's always the ground, So... Red is your backup battery, right. But I only see one battery. 12 seconds, syd. Must be black. (nigel:) ah... (syd:) black. Ah... Red. Ah! Any other little tidbits of information You'd like to share with us? No. No, at least I don't think so. [cell phone ringing] Hello. Guess where I am? You know, This really isn't a great time, Lemme call you back. Sydney, I'm at a book signing. And the guest of honour is Your druid expert, gareth watson. Describe him to me. (karen:)just like the back of the book: Fifty, kind of cute, If you like the generous- Love-handles type. Thanks. Karen was just at a book signing. Yeah? (syd:)with gareth watson. Then who...? (syd:)... The hell are you? ! Andreas da veiga. Da veiga? His son. Da veiga doesn't have a son. That's closer to the truth than you know. But why would I lie? I found about the courier by hacking into My father's computer a couple of days ago. When? Two days ago. Then I called you. When did you hack into his computer? Sydney. Two days ago. Everything I'm telling you Is the truth, I swear. So your father's still alive? Yes. And I would do anything To bring him down. (courier:)this is not my fault, da veiga. You saw me. I followed instructions. Somebody compromised our security. What, you going to tell the council? Obviously one of our dikes needs plugging. Did you get a good look at The person with fox and bailey? I could pick him out a line-up. Do you want me to go track them down? [gun shots] No. Thank you. You know what this means? Yeah, we're in it up to our eyeballs. Karen was right. (syd:)it was coincidence. (nigel:) was it? I think you had a druids dream. I think you instinctively knew You were going to meet da veiga. Sydney, nigel. (nigel:)doesn't look much like a map, does it? I don't understand. How's that supposed to Lead us to the astronomicons? There are words written down One side of the blade. It's latin, I think They may reference the map. First I nearly get us killed, Now I've stolen the wrong package. Yeah, well you should have Come to us honestly. (andreas:)I could have proved to you That I'm an academic in my own right. Dedicated to the conservation of relics. But I knew you'd never trust Anyone named da veiga. I don't expect you to understand. Try me. (andreas:)after my father got back From the jungle, he was badly burned... Doctors said he'd die. He didn't. He asked to see me. I wouldn't at first. He hadn't done more than Send me a card at christmas And birthdays since my mother died And he dumped me in boarding school. He tried to tell me that what happened In the jungle had changed him. He was going to re- dedicate his life To the conservation of relics, Make up for the time we never had. I laughed in his face. (nigel:) sydney. This belonged to aelwyn, A druid high priest During hadrian's time. 121 a.D. The last time the astronomicons were seen. Well, now taken literally, What's written on there Doesn't make any sense, The words are all jumbled up And in no particular order. Code? None like I've ever seen. Look at this. Marks on the blade, Like grooves over the words. As if something's been repeatedly Moved back and forth, Like a scabbard. Might help you solve your word puzzle. How? This scabbard, if it does exist, Might act as an ancient Druid message decoder. [♪] We stand in the shadows, Protected by darkness, Hidden from light. So is it always, So shall it be. Who comes before the gural nataz? Stand and be recognized. Can we do without this, rennes? I've had a very bad day. We're all anxious To hear from you, fabrice. Maybe the great da veiga would like To show his humiliation in private. Rachel! You can't protect him forever, rennes. Silence! I bring bad news. My courier has died from the wounds He received fighting with the two thieves. Then where are they now? They're being tracked according To standard protocol. Where is the case? Why haven't you sent a team To cancel fox and bailey? I'm seeing to it, personally. Very good, fabrice. But this council will not Tolerate another failure. I understand. So it is spoken, So shall it be. This high council is adjourned. [♪] Mace? Follow da veiga. Tap into his tracer frequency. He'll see the power spike. It will be too late. Thanks, karen. I'm not surprised you can't find Any information on the scabbard. Well, I still have a few more People to hear back from. Do you want me to wait? No. It seems we've stirred up The hornet's nest here. I need you to pack up, Get out of there And just keep your phone on. You don't have to ask me twice. Okay, thanks, kate. No, interpol have no information On the scabbard either. Looks like we've reached a dead end. What about your father's house? Yes, it's possible He already has the scabbard. You don't mean go there? We'd be sitting ducks. I know the combination to his safe. Great. And I think I can get us past the alarms. Even better. Alright, let's wrap it up And get out of here. [♪] You can't fault his taste. [♪] I recognize this. Yeah, he stole it from the National gallery in '93. We're coming back here, And we're returning everything. [♪] What happened to your mother? It was an accident. Father never talks about it. (syd:)were you about ten? (andreas:) eleven. (nigel:)same age that you lost yours. Put it back, andreas. { Advertisement } Rush him. He can't kill us all. That is the furthest thing from my mind. Put the briefcase on the table. [♪] (da veiga:)when you opened The briefcase... This tracer bug started to transmit On a narrow band frequency Which I had kept from the gural nataz. However, agents have now been dispatched And the man leading them will be Undoubtedly edward mace. We have to leave before he gets here. There's precious little time, He could be outside already. Why are you helping us Against your own people? I have my reasons. I don't want your help. (da veiga:)I know you find this Hard to believe, andreas, But I am trying to save your life. Maybe we could continue this elsewhere. [♪] [machine gun fire] You set us up. [machine gun fire] Give me the dagger and the scabbard. No! (da veiga:)mace will have orders to take the contents Of the case. He will not leave without them. I'm sure I can convince him That you escaped. What good are they to us If we're dead? (andreas:)no, don't believe him. He's lying. He always lies. Andreas! No! Third man's got the case. [gun shots] It's da veiga's son. [gun shots] Watch your back. Right. Cover me! [gun shots] The other two got away. They got andreas. Edward mace is unrelenting and ruthless. When he discovers he doesn't Have what he came for, He will be back with a vengeance. Where will they take andreas? To the darkest place on earth. I have to go after them. (nigel:)let's see what we've got here. The scabbard has holes along its length That coincide with words written On the inside of the blade. Makes up a latin phrase. "from sarsen stone, 240 peds, Beneath the druid's noch." (syd:) "peds." Is a roman measurement common to the time. Yeah, the stride of an average man. It would have been about Five-foot-two in those days. Sarsen. Sarsen is a type of limestone, Indigenous to south- central England. Also known as greywether, Or druidstone. It's what stonehenge is made of. And "druid's noch"? A period landmark. The location of the astronomicon. I'll call karen, Then we'll be off. After we find andreas. You mean rescue him from the gural nataz? (karen:) hello? Huh? Karen, nigel. Yeah, I need you to look up a site. It's called the druid's noch. Circa 70 a.D. This all seems so strange: You helping to rescue my son. Yeah, well don't read Too much into it, da veiga. It's you he needs saving from. Thanks, karen. Okay, she's on it. I have to go. Here, take this with you. Sydney, we may need that. We don't have that luxury. He could trade it for andreas. Because that's what you do, isn't it? Trade, steal... When I show this to the gural nataz, They will decipher the code Just as you have done, And then they will send out more agents. You have to find the astronomicons As fast as possible, And leave before they get there. The thought had crossed my mind. (mace:)it looks like da veiga Was working with sydney fox. I can't wait to see rennes' face When I tell him. And I'd have you to thank. For delivering your father to me. Why did you betray him? Was it power, Money? (mace:)they've used The empty case as a decoy. Where is the dagger And the scabbard? Don't be stupid. Tell me. Or I'll turn you over to him. That must be karen. Ahh... Sorry I'm late. I found the druid's noch On an ancient roman map. And I brought you those crumpets That you like from marks and spencer. Thank you, karen, you're an angel. You owe me five quid. The noch was a small hill That was significant as a place Of worship for druids In wales 2000 years ago. The druids supposedly hid From encroaching romans in underground Caves that were used for worship. Alright, why don't you head back to the hotel. Stay out of sight. We'll keep in touch. Okay, see you guys later. (mace:) nothing. Keep trying. I'm certain he knows. Da veiga just arrived. Da veiga has arrived. He's called the high council into session. What the hell is he up to? (da veiga:)so I come with The offer of a trade, Following the finest traditions of our order. My son's life... For that which you seek. Fabrice da veiga. Once the most esteemed brother Of the gural nataz. Now, a man who's reputation And even loyalty is in question. For no good reason, I assure you. But to show my trust in the Chairman's wisdom and mercy... I have brought the dagger and scabbard. I have new information for the council. He is working with sydney fox. The agent who recovered the case Saw it for himself. [♪] (rennes:)I will render my decision shortly. [♪] Recover the astronomicons, Eliminate bailey and fox. [♪] By now, da veiga must have Handed over the dagger and The scabbard to the gural nataz. Yup. They've probably decoded the runic And have sent out their goons. Probably. Do you have to agree with everything I say? Sure. [wind blowing] Syd, look. [door unlocking] [door slamming] Guard! I don't want him in here! I don't think either of us have a choice. I gambled and lost. [♪] This rock, It's different from the others. What are you thinking? It's been brought here, Quarried elsewhere? This is sarsen stone. Just like at... Stonehenge. Hah. (syd:) uh huh. Look at this. The druid symbol for sunrise. (nigel:) huh? Okay, let's assume for the moment That this is the sarsen stone, Referred to by the dagger. Alright, 240 peds from here. But in which direction? Sunrise... East. Underneath the druid's noch. Alright, 240 steps. Peds, very small steps. Right. One, two Nine, 230. 231, 232, 233, 234, 235, 236, 237, 238, 239... 240. Wait a minute, look. This is a druid "keep out" sign. Keep out of where? Nigel. There's an opening. { Advertisement } Ugh... Sorry. [♪] (nigel:)it's a death maze. We should leave some bread crumbs To find our way out. I don't have anything, Do you have something? I've got some string. Great. Let's go this way. How do you know it's that way? [♪] All this time, And I don't know where to begin. You can't just decide to change your life And expect to make up for All the ruined years of mine. No, you're right. I can't deny my past, andreas. What I did, I did. But you were a fool To take on the gural nataz. You had what you wanted. You knew the dagger and sheath Would lead you to the astronomicons. And they had you. You still don't believe that I had exchanged them for you, do you? I understand your doubt. My misdeeds have led to this. Physical scars change my appearance, But nothing compares to what has Happened to me on the inside. All those days facing death, I came to realize that Nothing mattered more to me... Than you. [♪] Hello. These symbols may very well describe How the druids accurately predicted The movements of the heavens Thousands of years before the mayans. [bang] (syd:) careful. [bang] (nigel:) eugh, These are heavier than they look. We'll have to come back for the third one. Not me. [humming] Sh, sh. Come on. [door unlocking] Your offer is rejected. You can't do this, rennes. As a member of high council, I invoke the rule of seven. That is your prerogative. You are free to go. What's going on? You said you gambled and lost. True. His offer of trade was rejected. Under an ancient rule, Your father has substituted his life for yours. Go. (andreas:) father. Don't be a fool, andreas. Go now, While you still have the chance. Good-bye, fabrice. I'm looking forward to your execution. And I promise, It will be slow and painful. [door slamming] [door locking] I hope you're okay About going back alone, because I am never coming back in here, We're going to get ourselves killed. Don't worry, I'll go back alone. Eugh! Cobwebs. Pass them through to me. [footsteps] Listen. [♪] Let's get out of here! I'm not breaking up this set. But there are three men with guns! I've got to go back. Syd? Syd... Syd! (mace:)what's this? [♪] What are you doing? Leading them back into the maze. I've got to go back. (mace:)they're behind us. Trask, that way. Durgin... [♪] Ugh! [moaning] (trask:) durgin? Durgin! [♪] Two down, one to go. [♪] (mace:) trask? [bang] (syd:)hey, q-tip. [♪] Aaargh! Are you all right? Yeah. How's your hand? Better. Alright. He looks so comfortable. Think we should leave him? { Advertisement } Did you double-check the forecast? (nigel:)double, and triple-checked, I'm afraid. No point taking these out of stonehenge If we can't see the sun to use them. Or the moon. Well, the forecast says it's going to Be like that for the next couple weeks. Gotta love that english weather. Well, the sun's going to come out Sooner or later. Andreas. Someone broke into my apartment. The gural nataz? Well, whoever it was, They left a message. To be delivered to you. Me? (nigel:)what does it say? "tic-toc." That's the same message He left us after cambodia. Who? Your father, He's alive. , I had no choice. No choice. He kept... he kept shooting at me! He was shooting at me. He kept shooting. I had no choice! I had no choice! I'm not guilty. please, a little respect. please. Don't... don't go. calm down, goddammit! Shit, Iet me go! It's OK. It's OK. Let me go, for Chrissake! Come on, martial! It's OK, it's over. THE NEGRO Let me see. No sign of pain. Looks like she didn't suffer. Sometimes... For some, death is a kind of deliverance. That's it, a gun shot, 12 gauge... almost point blank She died on the spot, And... the young black man? At first glance, from what the ambulance guy said.. brain dead... most probably. As for the lady... she'II be on the table around 1 1 :00am, so my report should be on your desk around 3:00pm. I can send it to montreal, if you prefer. No big deal. We'II take it, to hell with the montreal guys. It's a change from horse theft and conjugal violence. Are you sure, Gary? Yeah, sure. alright then. We'II talk around 3:00, 3:30. Perfect. Bye. What more do we have here? There are 3, 4 witnesses inside, there's this. The neighbors say it belongs to the victim. There's this. Three cartridges. One was found near the victim, another here, in the grass. One is part of those over there, probably shot at martial. How is he? Not so good. Quite a shock. Anything on what started it? Yeah, it's all over there. It started here alright. could be the young black guy, we found his bicycle. It's OK, polo. There. feels good, huh? Yes... yes... What's going on? Nothing, I got caught in his headphones. He often screams like that. I was washing him, the headphones fell, he couldn't hear the music. Seeing lots of strangers makes him yell... or losing his play farm figures. What happened? - He fell in the bailer. - baller? - The thing that makes balls of hay. - I know. He fell in one when he was small. You've known him long? always been neighbors. We played together as kids. Right, polo? What's the music? "Give me roses". Fernand Gignac? Yeah. What else? Nothing else, for 37 years. - How old is he? - 45 years old. 'Give him some roses, mademoiselle 'He has a " rendez-vous" 'It's very important 'Choose them for him 'Among the more beautiful ones 'Give him some roses 'She loves them so.' We'II start taking statements. I'm Gary Racine, Detective Sergeant provincial police. Jacques PIante, also Detective Sergeant. We'II take your statements. They mentioned 4 witnesses... including him? No, it's... Josée Morin. She's still in there with the doctor. - Detective Sergeant Racine. - Yes, yes... We mustn't talk too loud. It's not good for her, even if she's sedated. You gave her some... Sedatives? Yes, yes. I had no choice. She's in a terrible state of shock. But did she talk to you? Yes. She had a very bad night. She can't remember... The way she speaks isn't very coherent, but I still managed to get a few bits of information on what happened. First of all... one, she's a woman who was at the hotel and who was having drinks with some... alcohol, and who suffered a terrible shock, which would have been preceded by a perturbation of an emotional nature... which was followed by a sort of blackout. But she will recall some elements, always the same ones. I have noted that. really? Which ones? That she found herself in this bedroom. Then... that her right cheek was tumefied, and contusion on the arm. Look, this is an arm... the contusion, commonly called a bruise, is this big. So, in my opinion, she suffered a violent blow. Maybe she fell, I don't know. Is it possible that she got into a fight? She didn't say? No she didn't talk about that. Mind you, she told me that... at some point she got up, she went to the window... and that's when she saw... the lady in question, on the ground. She would have also seen a young black man running, running... Did she say anything else? I'm trying to see... It's not my field... No, that's about it. Then, another blackout. Any idea as to when we could interrogate her? Not before 3 days. 3 days? 3 full days, if not more. Maybe you can get ahead with your investigation. There might be other leads... Yes, thank you. We'II follow other leads. - Thank you, doctor. - alright. unfortunately, I must go to the clinic, but if you need me for anything... - Don't hesitate. - Thank you. Excuse me. well, we'II take care of you guys. alright... where do we do this? We could go in there, there are doors. We'II get back to you shortly. - What do we have here? - A broken statue. - probably with that rock. - By the young guy. The lady saw him and went out with the gun. He took it and... Let's see what they say. Why did he break the statue? It can't be easy... seeing a statue of... What? I don't know, just imagine... You're in Africa, and you see a statue of a... a white guy in a Canadians sweater, fishing with a hockey stick, an Expos cap, a red belt, and a six-pack, while you're at it. Why do you laugh? That's exactly it. Take a hot head, he sees this and goes for it. - You're right. - obviously. obviously, the old lady was scared enough to get her gun. What is it? I know you, you got an idea. If it had been a white guy, maybe she would've run out screaming, with a broom... but here, she saw a black guy. - She took a gun. - She was scared of him. She saw him, got a gun, went out. Jacques... did you ever wonder where it comes from... being uneasy around black people? We're even scared of them. Think about it. We copy Americans, and they don't like them much. I don't know, there must be a reason. It comes from, listen to this, from prehistoric times. - It's true. Come on! Back then, they had no electricity. The only light was fire. Everything was dangerous then. Dinosaurs, mammoths, other tribes, but when the fire went out, it got dark and more dangerous. Since then, we associate dark with danger. Since then, we're afraid of the dark. They're dark, so we're afraid of them. We won't tell them that. So we split it up. Who...? I'II take their statements, OK? I'II look around the backyard. There might be some clues. Who's first, next? Go ahead. - No. You go Ducky. - You go. Who got here first? Him. Me. polo's in his room with his toys. Change the batteries in his walkman. You'II find some in the top of his dresser. Name, age and profession. Bertrand JoyaI, 48, divorced. I've worked on the Van KIee farm for 10 years. You knew Mrs Lajeunesse well? I sure knew her well. tell me about her. C,duIie had an income. Widowed for 10 years. Her husband was AIban Lajeunesse. After he died, she sold her land, and kept the house... like a Iot of people around here... like me, too. What happened? I was coming home from a date, happy, it had gone well between us. It was exactly 1 :15. I slowed down in front of C,duIie's, all the lights were on outside. I saw polo, in his PJs, alone in the yard. I got out and I saw C,duIie with the gun. And then I saw the black guy, with eyes big as saucers. He came on his bike, but why come here? And why the gun? I asked C,duIie: " What's going on?" What's going on is... what's going on... it's... that, there. ...she said, showing her broken little plaster negro. Then I understood what was going on. The statue was beyond repair, even for Crazy glue. I Iooked at the kid and asked: What got into you? Him, not a word. He didn't seem to understand me. So she told me: Maybe he thinks it's ugly. That happens sometimes, huh? We don't all have the same taste. No, but you still got to be pretty shameless. And he was shameless. He didn't look at all ashamed. I took the gun from her, but she defended him and said: It's not so bad. The Gagnon Nursery is full of Kings just like it. Kings just like it? She loved dogs... especially coIIies. They were all named King. When the Iast one died in the spring, she didn't replace him. She said, she could go anytime, and the family would have enough to care for polo never mind a dog. So she bought a little plaster negro. Her " little King". Poor old lady. She was totally lost. She kept asking: What do we do, Bertrand? We can't call the cops just for that. I Iooked at him: maybe not call the cops... but still, you can't smash everything you find ugly. while we were wondering, polo decided to taste the nigger. He does that with strangers. He goes up to them, he smells them, and sometimes even licks them. And how did the kid react? Of course we all feel weird the first time. He was no different. He started smiling. It was the only time we saw him smile. She went to get him and said: Forgive him, he means no wrong. It always upset her when it happened. She would always say the same thing: polo, come on, we don't do that. You can look at them, you can smell them. But that, no. It isn't clean! You can catch germs in no time, licking just anyone like that. What happened after that? After Touchy, Ducky and the Morin girl arrived. They came from the hotel. We turned to look, we saw this kid crossing the street, he almost got hit and jumped into the field. Ducky got out of his car, all excited. He came up to us and asked: Touchy, what was that? - A black guy, I think. ...Touchy said, coming out of his truck. Ducky was looking all around. Touchy saw that I had gun, so flicking his hair, he said: I'm gonna go catch him! And he ran in the corn behind the kid. Ducky stayed with us, saw the statue and went... He looked at me, then turned to the field. Nothing was moving in there. Nothing at all, at all. Ducky started yelling: Touchy! No answer. He was getting scared, he said: Was he alone? How should I know? They hang out in gangs. It was no joke. We were all staring at the corn field... even the Morin girl... who was quite... quite drunk. Ducky was getting more nervous. Touchy, did you catch him? only the crickets answered. And to make us more nervous... Was he armed? Hey, that's when... I said: We're going in. I was determined. Ducky was panicking. I thought he went to get the tire iron, but no. He came back with a flashlight. I told C,duIie: don't move! As we were about to go into the field, the corn started moving. Touchy was coming out, holding the kid by the arm. He runs fast but not in the corn. The kid let himself fall to the ground. I put the 12 gauge in his face, to keep him quiet. When Touchy caught his breath... What's he done to make me run like this? Ducky showed him what the problem was. The smashed statue. The black kid looked at Touchy who couldn't get over it. Oh well, well, well... The kid looked less arrogant than before. And that's when C,duIie said: Let him go, boys. Boys... She still called us that. So if I understand... Mrs Lajeunesse wanted to let him go, but you didn't want to. I agreed with her. I said: She's right. What'II happen if we call the cops? Touchy disagreed, he said: They'II talk to him and force him to buy a new one. I can buy another one. That's not the point. He did something illegal. Since when do you care about what's legal. And I suppose you drank milk at the hotel, so you could drive back? We drank milk... 0.08% . The kind of milk Ducky could lose his license for. And not you? I can't lose mine, I already lost it. No... that's a joke... he still has his license. Everybody was laughing, except... except the neg... black kid, and Ducky convinced her about the police. It's like drinking and driving. You don't get caught, you're OK. He got caught, he's gotta pay. It's our duty as citizens. What if he smashes all the little statues around? If we let him go, he might go and do a massacre at Gagnon's Nursery. We'II feel guilty... our whole lives. They won't hang him, they'II just... give him a ticket. alright! You want to do it, you deal with it. Bertrand, you know where the phone is. I'm going to bed. Come polo sweetheart. We'II go beddy-byes. Come with mommy. She took polo by the arm and... She went back inside caressing his hair, and... It's the Iast time I saw her alive. You stayed with the others? No, I was tired, I had to work early the next morning. I let them deal with it, I jumped into my truck and I went straight home. You're here now, so you came back later. - Is that it? - One hour later. Yeah, one hour later. I don't know why, but I couldn't sleep. I drank some water and looked out the window. Lights were on at C,duIie's, so I went over right away. Just as I got there, I think I heard a gun shot. Then the lights went out. So I slowed down, down, then... a second shot, and the lights came on. I stepped on it, then I saw the kid with the gun. I just had time to lean over, then another shot. There was a hole where my face was before, the black guy was gone. I got out of my truck and ran across the lawn. There's Touchy, Ducky with Josée, and C,duIie, covered in blood. What happened? , I asked. Touchy couldn't answer. C,duIie wasn't moving. Ducky was speechless. Josée, was crying. Touchy was trying to bring her to... I felt something in my back. I turned, saw polo. He had blood in his mouth. We tried to bring her to, but she was gone, gone for good. polo walked towards where the black kid was. That's when I felt a burning in my back and I knew he bit me. I never saw him do anything like that. Maybe he knew his mother was gone. Maybe he did it to show his grief. Maybe he would've bitten himself, had he been alone. We don't know. We don't know how he thinks. Maybe he understands, but it's all stuck inside, and can't come out with words. Poor polo... What's gonna happen to him? Where will he end up? 'Twenty years old, a heart filled with hope and dreams 'He comes to buy 'a few roses still in bud 'The flower girl is pretty 'Iost in the first bIushes 'He's unsure of himself when he gently tells her: 'Give me some roses, 'mademoiseIIe 'I have a " rendez-vous" 'It's very important 'Choose them for me 'Among the more beautiful ones 'Give me some roses 'She loves them so. Goddam tragedy! Goddam gun! Why did I leave it with her? Goddam son-of-a-bitch. Fine... you can go. Thanks. You hurt yourself? It's nothing. A stupid thumb-tack over there. You should disinfect it. Yeah, later. You know, earlier with the coroner, maybe I went too fast. You weren't too hot for the idea. No, it's OK. I'm sorry. You didn't want to. Not really, no. What is it? well, you know... I'm retiring in 3 months. Yeah, so? This case looks complicated. I might still have to go to court in 1 , maybe 2 years after I retire, so... We started and that's what counts. You sure? Yeah, sure. Found anything interesting? Yeah, actually... Come, I have a question for them. Who wears high heels? We found fresh tracks. we just need to take prints, it'II be easy to find. He must be talking about the girl, the dancer. The dancer? What dancer? You never mentioned a dancer. He didn't see her, she stayed in my truck until he left. When he came back, she had gone back to the hotel. What's her name? Samantha... so she said. A cutie, fully equipped. Back to the hotel? What hotel? The Intersexion. I'II go check it out. well... next! You go. Name, address and occupation. Duck... lionel PIourde, I Iive at 157, 3rd lane in St-Jude. Occupation... I worked on the Van KIee farm, but I had a small accident, so... I'm declared an invalid... that's about it. OK, go ahead. What happened? What happened? well, a Iot happened. From the top. well, at the beginning... Josée Morin, Touchy Tougas and me, we... we met at the hotel around 7:00pm. Start with when you arrived, and you saw the black guy. You saw him with the lady and her gun. That's it. That's what? That's it... we saw them. You got out of your car? Yeah. Who was there with you, aside from the lady, her son and the suspect? There was the one you call Touchy? Sorry. Josée Morin, the dancer... Anybody else? No, I don't think so. Wasn't Bertrand JoyaI with you? Yeah, but no... Was he there or not? He was there in the yard, but he wasn't with us... at the hotel or in the car. alright. So when you got there? He ran away. And you caught him. Yeah. You ran after him? Yeah, well Touchy ran, me... with the pick up. With the pick up? In the corn? Yeah, I've got a bad leg. So then... you caught him and you brought him back. What did you do to keep him from running away? You locked him up? You aimed the gun at him? What? No, no, we thought that was too dangerous. Same with locking him up. We didn't want him to break anything else. So... We didn't... we didn't lock him up. In that case, what did you do? Did you tie him up? You tied him up? You tied him up? Just like that? Please God, don't. Don't fucking take me out. Please don't. Please don't take me out. -It's okay. -Please don't. I'm not feeling that. What's up with the gallop? The tempo's shit. -I'm right. Right? -Yep, tempo's shit. No, no, no, no. Let us get into it. It's gonna have texture. Like, you know, like ooze. Sonic ooze. Great. Sonic ooze. Okay, baby, how about a horn section? A little Tijuana Brass, maybe? I heard Herb's in town. -Let's not get patronizing. -That's not patronizing. That was accommodating. I was accommodating you. Against my better judgment, even. -Sweet, that's it. That's the direction. -I've overplayed it. No. We just gotta straighten out the beat. -It should be faster. -No, I get what she's doing. It's sultry. She's going for romantic. Is that what you're going for, Jane? A love song? Come on! Let him go. No, let him go! Let me at him! Those are mine. -What are? -Your tits. You're such a brute. Hello. Hi. -Am I interrupting? -Absolutely not. It's an unexpected pleasure, really. We were just discussing romance. Come on in. Sit down, come on. -I'll see you tomorrow. -Yeah. Have a good night. I'm really starting to love this. It's dated, you know? It's not dated. We just wrote it. It doesn't even have a date on it yet. -Why are you so contrary? -You wouldn't respect me otherwise. -You think so? -Babe... -... I know so. -Good. I love a man who speaks his mind even when it's bullshit. Hey, stranger. -Hey, you. -Hey. What time did you come to bed? -I tried to wake you. -Really? -You didn't move. -I didn't even feel it. How did it go yesterday? -With the apartments. -Good. What's the status? I saw a few things. Most of them were pretty disgusting. Yeah. I think it's gonna take some time. I was sure there was something perfect in here, just ready to rent. So how was work yesterday? Strange. I had to deal with a 16-year-old having an Ecstasy-induced psychotic episode, and he thought I was a Nazi. How ironic. -Yeah. -And upsetting. Yeah, he was pretty upset. -I'm sure. -This one looks good. -Which one? -This house in the Valley on Greenleaf. Right there. Okay. Were you in the studio for a long time? -No, not long. -Just taking a break? Yeah. -Did you get much work done? -Yeah. I think they're pretty close to finishing. No, on your dissertation. Oh. Yeah, it's going really well. -Did you enjoy yourself? -Where? In the studio. Yeah, I did, actually. -It was stimulating. -Good. Jesus. I don't know how you two stand getting up so early. That totally burned me out. -Hello. -Hi. You're right on time. Oh, he's very friendly. He's a pussycat. You see that? He likes you already. Come on in. I'll show you the house. I want you to take the gown out of your bag and put it on. -This isn't appropriate for public. -You don't understand naked. Naked is inner. I am here with you. There is no shame. There is no separation. And I'm not ill. Yes, you are ill, Gloria. And I have no need for a green synthetic nightie used to conceal the essence of my supple skin and my aching soul in the barren desert that is this land. I'm moving in with my son in Costa Mesa. He thinks I'm lonely. Truth is, he's lonely. Sweet kid. Just can't seem to connect. Me and my wife lived here 40 years. It's lovely, really. It's really lovely. You seem like a very nice person. I hope you take the place. -Come on. -Come on! You're nothing! Come on! Pussy! Fucking pussy! I don't know about trust. Maybe she just needed a nap or something. Believe me. She's been belligerent with everybody else. I dealt with her last year. I just listened to her, really. Yeah. Well, listening it's better than medicating, no matter what they tell you. Can I tell you something? Yeah. Sure. Hi. -Hi. -Hi. -Hi, how are you? -Fine, thanks. You? Fine, thanks. Did I leave you enough room? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'll see you in the morning. Another day at the office. All right. -Hey, how's it going? -Good, you? Okay. Hey, come on in the water. It's delicious. Maybe later. Thanks. You're always welcome. In fact, more than welcome. Obviously, you're welcome. Fucking hell, it's your house. -I'm sorry. -It's not your fault. Someone else got there first. The house was gone. It wouldn't be the worst thing to stay here a little longer. It's comfortable. Well, depends on your definition of comfort. I mean, Al, I'm hardly ever here. It's not for me, it's for you. Is it? -Can you get me some lemonade? -I'll see if there's some around. -How'd you sleep? -I don't know. Whatever you hit me with took me down. I feel fucking drugged. Yeah, well, you were drugged. -I don't like downers. -You weren't liking the uppers either. Yeah. -I told you not to call my house. -Look, I had to contact your family. You're underage. That's the law. My mom's gonna kick my ass. I mean, she's freaking now. But she's gonna torch my fucking ass when I get out of here. Why are things so wrong with your mom? I don't know. You seem like you do. She just doesn't get me, all right? She's in my face about my grades, my hair, my friends, tattoos. All this other shit. You know? I can't do nothing right. So why should I care? Fuck. -What? -He missed the punch, fucked up-- Mickey, could you keep that to yourself next time, let him play through? Let me talk to him. Sorry. Yeah. It's not there, but that's a direction. -It's okay? -Yeah. We'll finesse it in the mix. We'll make it work. What do you think? -Truthfully? -No, lie to me. Yeah, truthfully. I'm not feeling it. You're not feeling it. -I'm sorry. -That's okay. Don't apologize. Just tell me what you mean. I don't know what I mean, exactly. I just.... I mean, l-- I guess it's just not pulling me in. Or it feels like it's not pulling them in exactly.... Or enough. I don't know. They don't seem inspired. Inspired? -Yeah? -Progress report. Excuse me? Progress report? No, "Hello, how are you?" Jesus, Claudia, you're really warming me up. What? I love capitalism as much as the next guy, but this is off the charts. Your commerce is so far up my ass, I can't sit up. Listen, the Age of Aquarius never happened, okay? -Get real. This is commerce. -I want to tell you something for your soul. Pushing for Christmas and radio play will only amount to shit and wrapping paper. I don't know what happened, Jane. We really used to be on the same page. I don't know what happened either, Claudia. I guess you started exercising. Gotta go. Bitch. Cunt. Can we just say how lovely Jane looks today? Can we just have a moment of appreciation for our sweet lovely Jane? Jane rocks. Get the fuck out of my chair. I had a math teacher in high school who was sort of my mentor. You know, I was one of those science geeks and my mother wasn't really around. So he took me under his wing, and he convinced me that I should be a doctor. Which seemed like the right idea at the time. You know, I guess I needed to prove myself. To who? Who were you trying to prove yourself to? I don't know. My math teacher? Your math teacher? You got through Harvard Medical School for your math teacher? Yeah, no. I guess I was trying to prove myself to myself. You know, I needed... -...to prove that I wasn't a loser. -A loser? Why would you think you're a loser? I was around a lot of losers growing up and.... Not worthless-type loser or, you know, bad person. Just.... Just lost. People at loose ends. And I didn't want to be that. I wanted to be anything but that. You're everything but that. I set up a meeting with his mom. It's not protocol, but I think it'll help. Is he still violent? No. No, he was never violent. I thought you had to restrain him. No, I sedated him. -Oh, I thought he was psychotic. -Huh? No. He had a psychotic episode. He OD'd on methamphetamines. But he's not psychotic in general. When did you start reading Spin magazine? -I'm not really reading it. -You just looking at it? I'm skimming it. -Is it helping? -Yeah, it's informative. -It's good for an overview. -What, like a primer? -Yeah, something like that. -Getting the basics, a light survey of popular culture. -Are you teasing me? -No. Should I be reading the Journal of Medicine or the Harvard Review? Would that be more appropriate? -Something more scholarly? -No, come on, Al. I was teasing. I could harass you about those porno magazines, but I didn't even bring it up. Wha--? Come on. I don't care about the porno magazines. -I just didn't know you liked Juggs. -Oh, God. -Sorry I don't have enormous breasts. -Please, stop it. Your breasts are fine. Your breasts are perfect. Really. Yeah, but who's had 72 lovers? Where did you come up with that fucking number? I'm guessing from what you said. Well, I'm 16 years older than you. That's a lifetime of fucking. And I am not apologizing. My past isn't about you. -Oh, that is cold. -No, it's not. It's clear. You're gonna keep me in my place, are you? I'm not gonna keep you anywhere. You are free to move around. Well, I'm not moving, for your information. You can work your tough-girl thing, but I know you're in love with me. That's irrelevant. Kind of tired, babe. You know? -You're up early. -I know, and I'm not happy about it. -You need some Valium? -I don't wanna get back into that again. Yeah, that wouldn't be good. Try swimming. It helps. -So how are you? How's work going? -Good. -Just not sleeping enough myself. -Oh, I'm sure. -Hospital's been busy. -A lot of psychos, huh? No, just a lot of pained souls. Listen, I appreciate your interest in Alex. I meant to tell you that. I really like Alex. I like her a lot. She's smart. I was a little protective of her when we first got here. I just wasn't sure how she was gonna deal with your scene. I think she's dealing just fine with my scene. I think she likes it. Obviously, she's getting stoned with you... -...and she's reading Spin. -I don't read Spin. I've never read Spin. She found her own way into the studio. It had nothing to do with me. Yeah. It's always like that with you, isn't it? They.... They always just happen to find their way in. What's that supposed to mean? It means you're charmed, that's all. Someone's looking out for you. Nobody's looking out for you? I'm sorry. Come on. Your life looks good from my perspective. -I've worked for what I have. -And I haven't? -You are so stuck on the negative. -I'm not. Yes, you are. -You've blocked out all the fun we had. -I haven't blocked it out. It's all filed. What about the trip to Veracruz? Yeah. When Ronny went to jail? Before that, when we were out on his boat. In the storm? That was fun? That sucked. No, it didn't. You thought it was exciting. I wasn't excited. I was hysterical. There's a huge difference between hysteria and excitement. Are we ever gonna have a relationship? We're having a relationship. Here we are, having it. Ian's got a room at the Chateau. We'll stay there... -...you can have the place to yourself. -You should stay. Alex is still looking for an apartment, and we need something permanent so just stay. Why don't you ask her? Maybe she wants to be alone in the interim. I'm sure Alex wants you to stay. I mean, she can't stay away from you as it is. He's gonna give her a frontal lobe. No, no, he'll just give her Thorazine and then lock her up. I think she wants to be locked up. Yeah, exactly. Make your analysis at first with three general patterns of emotional response. Rage is the response to the primary stimulus of thwarting. -Should I be embarrassed for us? -I am. I really am. You gonna have another? -You know, I should probably go. -Oh, come on, Golan. How often do you get a night and a morning off? -I'd stay for another. -Okay. --and the emotional response to love is usually the result of a show of affection or favour. -Tom, can I use your phone? -Yeah, it's right over there. -I think we'd do really well together. -Absolutely. For a while. God, will you get past the cynicism? I just broke up with somebody, baby. I thought you forgot all about him. Hello? Al? -Who are you with? -Just some of the residents. I'd like to leave, but Sara's driving, and I don't want to be rude. You want to come down? No. I'll see you when you get home. All right. You're ageist. -That's what it is. -Oh, please. Then what are you afraid of? Breaking your heart. Running your ass into the ground, buddy. Bollocks. Why do you want to ruin this with domesticity? Because I've never met a braver woman and I'm deeply, deeply attached to you. Looks like we've got company. -How you doing, Alex? -Okay, I think. -Getting some work done? -No. Not tonight. -Where's Sam? -Out. What, without you? -Well, I didn't want to go. -Pour yourself a drink. -Spend time with us. -Get a drink and come back out. -Are you sure? -She's sure. I'm positive. I'll have another whisky sour while you're at the bar. So will Jane. Cheers. Tasty, eh? It's a good combination. You made it perfectly. You should be a bartender. -Do you want to come in? -No, that's okay. -You sure? -Yeah, I'm okay. Oh, have you just washed your hair? -No, I haven't. -So? So I just don't want to get wet. Really? You seem like you do. -Cut it out. -What? She wants to swim. -She's afraid to get wet. -I'm not afraid. You little tart. You know what, you've had it. -Shit! God! I can't believe you! -See what I have to put up with? -It's not so bad, is it? -It's freezing. That's because your clothes are wet, silly. -You really are a jackass. God! -No. No name-calling now. We're all adults here. -That's better, isn't it? -Well, it's definitely warmer. I'd much rather be in here than out there in that cold world. You're so polite, Alex. It's okay to leave the ivory tower and live a little. -Yes. I can drive. -Well, you shouldn't. You're drunk. I'm not drunk. I drank less than you. No, you did not. -Well, you want to kill me again? -I didn't kill you the first time, did I? -Goddamn it, you're flustering me. -Turn it to the right. -I know how to open a door. -Apparently, you don't. -Give me a break. I'm drunk. -You should let me drive. Get in. Sara. Yeah? I think we should take the high road. What would that be? Sublimation. Is that okay? It's intellectual. -I know. -Not very honest. Well.... Not very satisfactory. Satisfying. I think you know what I mean. Al? Hey. Al? You up? -Hi. -You up? -I am now. -Can we talk? Okay. -Are you okay? -Yeah. I'm just wondering about something. Okay. Why does your father hate psychiatrists? He doesn't hate psychiatrists. Okay, so why does he hate me? He doesn't hate you. He thinks you're great. Why are you concerned about what he thinks suddenly? You know, he's a puritan. He quotes Proust and wears tweed. He doesn't know anything about us. Do you think that we should've gotten married before? Before when? Before coming out here? He runs around, spends my money on drugs and ends up in a mental hospital! Oh, I'm so close to letting go on him. I'm at the end of my rope here. I think that what's going on with Wyatt is complicated and I don't think your anger is helping him with his problems. My anger? I'm not angry. I'm furious! Because this is all about me, you see. I will not tolerate disgusting, degenerate behaviour and disrespect for me and my values-- Mrs. Jones, listen. Give your values a rest for a second. Your kid's in trouble. Yeah. Oh, Jesus, Claudia. Give me a fucking break. My relationship with lan has nothing to do with this. It's none of your business anyway. No. It is not slowing anything down. These conversations are slowing us down. I can't believe I'm listening to this. That was totally patronizing. Claudia. It's lan McKnight. Lovely. I don't know why you're so fascinated with our sex life but for the record, Jane's an amazing shag. More to the point, we're just about done with the single. I'm sure you'll be orgasmic when you hear it. Let's give the telephone a rest. Cheers. Great. You're a fucking diplomat. This is it. It's going to hell. Fuck her. Who cares? We'll take it somewhere else. -You hire a lawyer. -That's how I want to finish. -What, with a lawsuit? -No. With that song. -Which song? -The song I just played you. -It's a ballad. -So what? -You want me to hand them a ballad? -That's right. You're kidding, right? Tell me you're kidding. No. I'm not fucking kidding. -Alex was right. -Alex was right? -The other song doesn't pull you in. -It pulled me right across the room. I'm serious. -Is this about Alex? -No. Alex doesn't know about this. She's into flies and domination. Determinism. -lan. -Jane. Ian! Do you like it? -Jane? -What? -Did you? -Yeah. Yeah? I said I did. Well, all right then. Let's just finish the record, darling. I can't stand to watch Claudia wank you off any longer. It's starting to make me jealous. Oh, God. Sorry. Excuse me. Sam? Hold on one second. I'm just gonna-- -Hey. -Hello. Where? No, I can't hear you. There a lot of people there? Yeah. I guess, like, 15, 20 or so. Shrimp cocktail and something else. No, I didn't see any crab cakes. -Do you want to come up? -No. I probably won't. No. No, stay. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. Okay. I will. I promise. Were you trailing me? Maybe. Why didn't you catch up to me? Sara? I was sublimating you. You're not meant to be in a band. You're meant to work in a bank. And everything else is happening. I'm not usually so aggressive. -I don't believe that. -I'm not. I just.... I don't really know you. I.... I just feel connected to you. I feel.... I feel safe with you, like it's okay to be honest. It's just one of those things. I'm just attracted to you. And it's not just because I think you're incredibly sexy. I think that you're incredibly attractive too, Sara. I do. You do? Yeah. I think about you. Trust me. A lot. How do you think about me? How? Yeah. Do you think about having sex with me? Yeah. How? How do I think about having sex with you? Yeah. Do you think about me going down on you? Yeah. -That's part of it. -Yeah, me too. I think about how you'd taste. I'm sure you'd taste sweeter. -Do you resist me? -No. -Do you give yourself over? -Yeah. -Completely? -Completely. That gets me off. You're easy. No. With you I am. So do I get to...? Do I get to work on you for a while or do we just fall asleep? You can work on me all night long. I mean, you're with someone. Why would I let myself fall in love with you? What, like I'm just an object to you? I'm just, like, a piece of ass? -You just looking to get laid? -Yeah. Right. -God, you're like a girl. -Oh, thanks. That's really flattering. Yeah, it is. Maybe that's why I like you. Are you having a sexuality crisis? No. I'm not having any kind of crisis. You're lucky, you know that? No. I don't know that. Why am I lucky? You can control your heart. -Hey, thanks for coming out, Darla. -Good night. Thank you. -It sounds amazing. -Thanks. -I'll get the rest this week. -Yeah, no problem. Good night. Hello? Yeah. It's lan in the penthouse. We need another bottle of Chateau Marmont. Sorry. Dom Perignon. Cheers. Thanks. I think it's more comfortable inside. I think it's one of the best records I've done. I think it's the best record you've done too. I didn't say "the best." -She said the best, didn't she? -I thought she said "the last." You see? You saved the best for last. I know it's not the last. No, don't go. Don't go. -You should get some sleep. -No, we never sleep. Why have you got your clothes on? -What are you talking about? -You look so much better with them off. Come here. We've been entertaining you for a while so why don't you entertain us? What do you want me to do? Finish it. Look, you give her an inch, she takes a mile. I think we should stop. Oh, babe. Come on. Not now. -I'm sorry. -No. You're right. I.... I didn't.... Sorry. Can I talk to you for a second? -You should be with her if you want. -I don't want to. I wanna be with you. -I want you to be with her. -I can't be with her. -Why not? -She's Sam's girlfriend. They're about to break up. It's obvious. -She's throwing herself at us. -She's throwing herself, I can't do it. Jane.... Look, I've done some weird shit in my life, and I'm glad I have because I have enjoyed 99 % of it, but I'm not screwing my son's girlfriend and I won't lay there and watch you do it. Oh, who's gonna know? I'll know. -Hey. What took you so long? -Sorry. Just crushing the grapes. Back here. -Is everything all right? -Yeah. Sorted. Put it right there. No worries. Is this the party? What are you doing here? You're a sick pig. You know that? -Nothing-- Nothing-- -You're a fucking greedy punk. Okay, mate, slow down. Who the fuck do you think you are? -Stop it! -Get the fuck off me, you nutter! Stop it! Oh, you cunt! Jesus Christ. Sam, stop it. -What are you doing? -What am I doing? -What the fuck were you doing? -Are you all right? Oh, shit! -It's not what you think it is. -You have lost your shit! -It's not her fault. It's my fault. -No, it is my fault. Well, it's not my fucking fault! -You're not getting away with this. -What? -Shutting me out! -You reduce it to that? Jesus! Get some therapy! Finally, please, get some help! -You get some therapy! -I don't need it! -That is exactly your problem! -My problem? You're unbelievable! This is why I never come back! Things always spin out of control with you! You're like a 2-year-old. Like a fucking infant! How did you get to be so rigid? At least I'm living in reality! At least I have dignity! Dignity? Jesus! Why are you so afraid? Afraid? What are you talking about? You're insane! Jane? I'm sorry, can I ask you to step outside? Fuck you, Phillip. I'm sorry-- Can I get you some ice? Yes! I know. I know. It was my fault. -It just happened. -These things don't just happen. -You got out of bed with-- -I didn't sleep with her. -No details! Not one fucking detail! -I don't know what happened. -I got caught up. I got confused. -Confused? Psychotic is more like it! I didn't think. I didn't think. -I never learned. -Learned what? -This! -This? What is this? -How to fuck up! -You have fucking mastered it! It didn't mean anything to me! I don't want them! I don't feel anything for them! I don't want either of them. I want you! I wanna be with you, you asshole! You fucking stupid, fucking asshole! Stupid asshole? I'm fucking keeping this together! I'm fucking trying to keep this together! I wanna make it right! -How you doing? You all right? -Yeah, okay. I.... I wanted to apologize. Oh, no, we finished with that sorry business already. Sorry for getting you into this situation. No, you didn't get me into anything. I got myself into whatever we got into. -I was just curious about you. -And I, you. You're the least likely person in the world for me. -Are you insulting me now? -No. No, not at all. A compliment. I think you helped me. Okay, a little positivity. Yeah, you helped open me up. Yeah, and I would've opened you up further if I had my way. -That's disgusting. -No, not really. It's honest. -You should work on your manners. -I know. I'm trying, believe me. I wanna tell you something. All right. It doesn't matter who's right or wrong. I made mistakes, a lot of them, I know that. I live with them every day. The hardest thing I live with is knowing how much I've disappointed you. I haven't been a very good parent. I know that. I fucked up. But I've always loved you. You're my baby, man. Hello? Yeah. May I say who's calling? You've got a lovely accent, Sara. Very compelling. Where are you from? What a coincidence. I'm eating a bagel right now. Hang on. It's Sara from Israel for you. -Hey. -Hi. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just taking a mental health day. How is your mental health? Haven't quite gotten to mine yet. I'm still dealing with everyone else's. It's not true, that thing you said last night. What thing I said last night? The thing about my heart. It's not true at all. I can't control my heart. I mean I wouldn't want to even if I could. -Sara? -Yeah. Can I call you right back? Yeah. Previously on Gilmore Girls: - What do you mean you had an accident? - Jess swerved and... Jess was driving and you had an accident? But I'm fine. What accident? Jess was driving Rory's car and he crashed it. - Have you talked to Dean? - No, he gets home tomorrow. - What'll you say? - I don't know. If you hadn't brought him here, this wouldn't have happened. This is my fault? - What did you do to your arm? - Here. - What is this? - Just read it. Now I have to find Jess, and I have to make sure that he's okay... and if that cuts into your screaming time, that's just too damn bad. - Go to hell! - Right back at you! Not long after the accident happened... Luke walked him straight to the bus station... stuck the kid on the bus, sent him home to his mom. - Is he really gone? - Yes. Okay. Do you wanna come in? All I know is that Jess is gone. Well, what will we do for entertainment around here? Beats the hell out of me. - Where is this place? - Not too far. You've been saying that for miles. - My feet are sore. - When did you become older than me? Tell me what this new breakfast place is, and I'll be quiet. It an amazing new mystery place I found. That's all I'm telling you. Is it in this town or the next? - We don't patronize the next town. - Since when? Didn't they feed lead to our jumping frog or something? Right after they stoned the woman who won the lottery. See, so the boycott's legit. - Wait. Stop. - Look, it's Michael Landon. You guys walk fast. I've been chasing you the past two blocks. We were being followed. I told you I wasn't being paranoid. Now you'll believe me when I say the furniture moved itself. - Where're you going? - Mystery breakfast. - Out of town? - Remember the definition of mystery? I was wondering if it's okay to practice on your pots and pans again. It's not like they have any other use. I've almost nailed Ramble On. I have to stop hitting my face with the sticks when I pull back. John Bonham had that same problem. - Key is in the turtle. - Enjoy your mystery breakfast. Come on. It's not much farther. We're not heading toward any businesses of any kind. What? - We have arrived. - Arrived where? You are without shame. Sookie, you do not have to do this. What do you mean? Feeding my girls, making them happy. I love doing this. Yeah, so feel the love and pass the salt. - It makes me feel guilty. - Eating can help drown that. Yeah, eat. I'm gonna eat. Can the help sit at the table, too? As long as they don't sing folk songs or tell bawdy stories. What's with Narcoleptic Nate over there? He's not much of a morning person. Now say, 'I can't believe I ate the whole thing. ' It takes him about an hour to become Jackson. - Hey, I had a good idea for the wedding. - Cool. Instead of wrapped Jordan almonds things at every place setting... - what if we wrap up a few Aspirin? - Aspirin? For the morning-after hangovers. - That's funny. - 'Cause Jordan almonds are so done. Jackson, what do you think? Aspirin over almonds? - Can we take that as a yes? - No. Everything eventually registers. He'll chime in on this in a couple of days. - Days? - Days. Hey, is Jackson in the house? Let me hear you say... - A new toy. - Shameless. - How's it going? - I hate these books. Hate them. No. See that? They're trying to escape. They hate me, too. Your books don't hate you. Rory, my brain is full. It has reached capacity. It's Shea Stadium when the Beatles played. It's cramped, girls are screaming, and George is fighting with Ringo. - You have a very active head. - I cannot ingest any more information. - Take a break. - I don't have time. Close your eyes, clear your head. Clearing my head just means that... all the knowledge I have painstakingly stuffed in there will leak out. In order to make room for stuff, I lose stuff. It's a very vicious circle. I'll make some coffee. - I hate finals. - Nobody likes finals. Thank God I'm graduating and it's the last time I cram like this. My pursuit of higher education has led me... to an interesting discovery about myself. You wanna hear it? - Sure. - I despise academics. Learning, knowledge, it's all worthless. I have no idea what you see in it. Learning is fun. Plus, for me, there's that I'm a minor, so it's mandatory thing. That's what kills me. This is self-inflicted. I'm a masochist. I might as well be carrying a switch and periodically lacerating myself with it. That diploma hanging on the wall is going to make this all worthwhile. I guess. Unless I turn into John Nash and start drooling on people. - You're graduating. - I know. No, you're graduating. There's gonna be a ceremony. I don't know. It's a community college. Community colleges have ceremonies. My college doesn't even have a lawn. They won't necessarily have a ceremony. - They must. Did you ask? - No. Well, now that you mention it, I think someone said something about... some cheesy ceremony for my business class. - When is it? - I don't know. Next Thursday. - That's great. You have to do it. - I don't know. - You have to do it. - Really? Yes. You've never been a part of an actual graduation ceremony. I know. That's because my conservative high school... wouldn't let me be in the ceremony and nurse you at the same time. - Don't be gross. - You think I should do it? - You've worked hard. You've earned it. - I guess. Come on. You know that deep down you really want to do this. I'll admit I've always wanted to wear one of those gowns. And the hat? For the tassel. You know my thing for fringe. They call out your name, and people clap, and you get your diploma. Then you do that thing where you move the tassel from one side to the other. Very symbolic, very dramatic. - That's it. You're doing it. - If you insist. - Who do you want to invite? - I don't know. You. - And? - That's cool with me. - Sookie and Jackson? - That would be fun. - And Grandma and Grandpa? - Oh, no. Come on. It's your graduation. They should be there. - Forget it. They won't want to be there. - Of course they will. Rory, I was supposed to graduate from high school, go to Vassar... marry a Yale man, get myself a proper nickname like Babe or Bunny. Instead, I got pregnant. I didn't finish high school... I didn't marry your father, and I ended up in a career... that apparently Jessica Hahn would think was beneath her. I humiliated them. The two proudest people in the world, and I humiliated them. I spoiled their plans. I took their fine upbringing... in a world of comfort and opportunity, and I threw it in their faces. I broke their hearts, and they'll never forgive me. I guess I can't expect them to. Maybe you're wrong about how they feel. It was a long time ago. Rory, I don't want them to go. It'll just hurt them, and me. - Okay? - Okay. - You should get back to your studying. - Fine. - Great. - What? I've already forgotten everything I read in the last two hours. - No, you haven't. - Yes, I have. In fact, I may have forgotten everything I've ever known. - Child, what be your name? - Study. Just explain the concept one more time. And be mocked again? No, thank you. - Come on. - Maybe we're missing something. You go to a special shooting range. - A skeet shooting range. - Right. There's two of you, and the guy with the gun yells, 'Pull. ' The other guy releases a clay pigeon from a machine into the air... and you try to shoot it. - No, I don't think we're missing anything. - I knew it. - You shoot pigeons? - Clay pigeons. - When you hit them, does blood come out? - They're clay. And why do you like to do this? My dad shot skeet when he was my age, and he wants to pass the tradition down. What if you accidentally hit a real pigeon? - Does that count? - That's never happened. What if a clay pigeon hits a real pigeon? Does that count? I've only done this once. If you get really good... do you move on to other animals, like clay chickens and clay sheep? We didn't go skeet shooting. I made it all up. I got to go in here. - What do you need? - Just general stuff. - You guys go and be in love. - See you back at the house. What if you shoot the person who throws the pigeon in the air? Would that count? Sorry. No, I should have signaled or honked. My fault. I guess it was inevitable, us running into each other. - It's a very tiny community. - I guess so. - How's the diner? - It's still there. Yes. I knew that. I'm able to empirically, with my eyes... - Hey, Luke, do you think we could... - I got to get back. Okay. Right. I'll get it. - Hi, Grandma. - Hello, Rory. Thanks for seeing me on such short notice. I'm thrilled to see you on no notice. So tell me, what's this about? You were so mysterious on the phone. I wanted to talk to you about something in person. Well, come in. It's an English tea service. One of the advantages of our having an English maid. That, and the fact that she speaks English. - You didn't have to do this. - But it's teatime, and I wanted to... Oh, no. Beatrice, I told you to doily-line the plates. You don't have to doily-line the plates. - Hello. - We're in the dining room. - Rory, you're already here. - You're out of breath. - I ran over from the office. - You didn't have to run. Your grandmother said you had something to discuss with us. That certainly justifies a run. All right, everybody, sit. Pour the tea, Beatrice. Actually, Beatrice, could you hold off on... pouring the tea for just a minute? Thank you very much. Grandma, Grandpa, I would like to propose an idea to you. You can go for it or not. It's entirely up to you. But I would like for you to promise me that you will not get upset. We won't get upset. - And you will try to keep an open mind. - All right. And you will let me finish my presentation completely before you respond. She's been hanging around you far too much. Rory, we accept your terms. Please proceed. Thank you. First, let me start by saying that Mom doesn't know I'm here. She'd probably be mad if she knew that I was, but I feel this is important. As you know, Mom's been going to business school... at the community college for three years now. I believe she's mentioned it. She's doing very well and she's finishing up. Actually, she's graduating Thursday, and there's going to be a ceremony. I think it would mean a lot to her if you guys were there. It may not seem like it would, but it's true. If it would mean so much to her, why didn't she invite us herself? 'Cause she didn't think you'd want to go. And I get that, but I think it's a mistake. I had a school thing once. I wasn't sure if Mom would want to go, so I didn't invite her. It was my kindergarten Salute To Vegetables pageant... and I was Broccoli and I did a tap dance with Beets. And the entire number, I was just thinking, 'Mom's not here. ' And it was my fault that she wasn't there. Well, it was kind of a life lesson for me. Now, if the thought of going to Mom's graduation... upsets you, or makes you unhappy, or uncomfortable in any way... then please don't go. Because this is an important night for Mom... and if you go, you should go under the right circumstances. Those are the tickets. It's Thursday, 7:00 p. m. It's indoors, so weather's not an issue. You can use them or not. No hard feelings. Do what you feel is best. And, if you don't mind, I would really appreciate it... if you would keep this conversation between the three of us. That's all I have to say. Thanks very much for your patience. I believe I have time for a scone before my bus leaves. Beatrice, the tea, please. Emily, these look delicious. So, Richard, how was your day today? I am feeling so good, sister, because it's over. No more finals, no more studying, no more school. The pressure's off. Do you know how much pressure I felt? Do you? All last week, I felt like a giant man and his brother were sitting on my chest. - A giant man? - And his giant brother. - Did they have names? - Clem and Clem. Same names. Which did not reflect well on their mothers' imagination. - Mother. - Mothers. There were two Clems. - 'Cause they were brothers. - Yes, so they had mothers. You're drawing me into your drunken world. It's not a bad place to be, my friend. Tank's empty. - What is this? - What? This life plan book thing. A gift for the grads from the happy people at Hartford Community College. Hey, how many margaritas is too many margaritas? If you can't remember where the living room is. I'm still good. Okay, here's an interesting question for you. 'Have you given any thought to how children will work into your future plans? ' They're not gonna stand in my way, that's for sure. I plan to have some, of course, but I'm just gonna knock them out... and have nanny catch them and care for them... make sure Mick Jagger doesn't come near them... and then return them to me when they're 21. What about me? You are my favorite eldest child. You get to stay by my side. I feel so privileged. I'll get it. Now, if that's Mick Jagger, hang up, and blow that whistle I gave you. - Hello. - Hi. - Hello? - Hi. Is this a bad time? No. Just hold on a sec. The music. I'll be right back. - Hey. - You said that already. I did. You're right. Sorry. - So, what's up? - Nothing. - What about you? - Same. So, what have you been doing? Nothing much, just hanging out, in the park mostly. - Central Park? - Washington Square Park. It's cooler. It's where David Lee Roth got busted. Right. I hope he's got it together now. Sounds like you got a party going on there. - No, it's just me and my mom. - Right. Okay, well, I'm gonna go. This is long distance. Yeah, it is long distance. So, see you. Yeah. See you. Mom? What's wrong? I'm experiencing frustration. At the general state of things in the world or something in particular? What do you wear to a graduation? - A cap and gown. - I mean underneath. Whatever you want. The gown will cover it. It's complicated. I don't want to overdress... so I'm sweating if it's hot in the auditorium. But if I don't have enough on and it's cold, I'll freeze. It is complicated, especially if you over think it. I need a helpful comment. Take light layers. Wear your turquoise-and-tan dress you just got. It's cool and it will look good without your gown on. Wear your turquoise sweater over it. It will look great with the dress... and it'll keep you warm if it's cold in the auditorium. - You are a fashion genius. - You taught me everything. - My brain's not working. - You're excited. It's a big day. What time will you get there? I have newspaper stuff after school. But no later than 6:00. - We'll go out to eat after? - Anyplace. It's on me. You don't have to do that. You're a graduate. You get to be pampered. Then I'd like to go to Chateau Jean Georges La Jean Georges in Paris. I'll look it up in Daggit and book the Concorde. I got to go. I got to get ready. Wait, I wanna see my little graduate one more time before the big event. Do I look like I'm ready to make my way in the world? If all else fails, you can marry rich. I love that we always have that option. What'll you do with your hair? I got the curling iron warming up. Mom, the cap. You put it on, it's gonna smoosh the curls down. - You are a genius. - See you tonight. Try to seat us next to a celebrity on the Concorde, like Sting or someone. I'll try. - I told her, 'Look, missy... ' - You called your advisor 'missy? ' It was attitudinal. I said, 'I'm not taking AP Calculus from Henemen. I'm going with Branch. 'Branch is a graduate of MIT, and Henemen went to Berkeley. 'He may have majored in Math, but what did he minor in, bean sprouts? ' I'm telling my advisor all this and I look in her trash can... and there's this half-eaten banana in there. Nothing else. I pictured her sitting in this shoebox of an office, eating a banana by herself... and I almost felt sorry for her. Then she questioned my judgment about Berkeley, so I eviscerated her. She was welling up at the end, but she held it in until I was gone. I have enough faculty recommendations to run for Student Council... so I don't need her anyway. My locker's this way. - Are they closed? - They're closed. - Are you sure? - I'm sure. Okay, one second, and open. You made me a tassel-hat cake. Filled with two pounds of crushed chocolate-covered espresso beans. - You're evil. - And you're graduating. - Yes, I am, aren't I? - Here. I brought the pictures you wanted to see of my high school graduation. Hand them over, lady. - Okay, but don't laugh. - I promise. I was younger then, not as refined. - You're stoned. - Totally. - I thought you hated that. - It was peer pressure. If Gilbert Garcia offered you a toke, you took it or took off. Gilbert had a snappy slogan. I was nauseous all day. Your parents? For the traditional, parents flanking their graduate child. - Don't they look proud? - They do. Very proud. What is that? It's pictures of Sookie's high school graduation. What was your high school graduation like? It was dignified, as most French ceremonies are. Poetry was read, a string quartet played, a ballerina performed. Drank Boone's Farm out of a bota bag and knocked a beach ball around? I don't understand half of what you say. That's why we work. - Hello. - Hey, Lor, how you doing? Christopher. I'm good. I'm excited. You should be. It's a big day. Did you get my present? - What present? - A basket. You should've gotten it by now. - Did a basket come for me? - It came. It was heavy. I felt a twinge, so I dropped it for health reasons. It's probably still intact. My cracked staff has just informed me of its arrival. I'm going to find it. I put it together myself. - And it's all for me? - All for you. A $25 savings bond. That's a long-term investment. Don't touch it for 30 years, you're looking at $45. - A youth hostel card. - For the young girl... who doesn't mind sharing a bathroom with strangers. 'What Color Is Your Parachute? A practical manual for job hunters. ' Helping you answer: What you wanna do and where you wanna do it. A DVD of The Graduate. Got to have that. The Portable Nietzsche. Light, cheery reading. An application to join the armed forces. If your dreams don't pan out, it's a viable option. And something in a nice little velvet box. A necklace. The pearl almost looks real. It better look very real, because it is. - That's not funny. - This is not a funny gift. Christopher, this is extremely not funny. This is totally humorless. It's beautiful. I think you're awesome, Lor. With everything you do, and raising Rory the way you did... you're superwoman. Have a great day. Wish I could be there. Take lots of pictures for me. The camera. I forgot the camera. Look in the basket. You thought of everything. - Have a great night. - Thanks. You, too. Bye. Could you... Excuse me. Sir, do you know... Excuse me. Do you know where Washington... Excuse me, ma'am. Washington Square Park? - End of Fifth. - Thank you. Excuse me. Where's Fifth? Hi. How you doing? - Good. How about you? - Good. - You hungry? - Starved. I know a place. I feel very urban today. Yeah, the plaid just screams urban. - I think I look like a native. - How well do you know Manhattan? I've been here a few times. We saw the Bangles here. When was that, 20 years ago? - It was a reunion, and they were great. - They're okay. A couple of years ago, Mom drove us in to shop. She couldn't find a good parking place, and all of the lots were total rip-offs. So she kept making u-turns and cutting off taxis... and we were being screamed at in so many different languages... that we just turned around and drove home... and bought a Hummel at the curio shop in Stars Hollow. Very adventurous. I'm just saying I'm no stranger to the Big Apple. You are if you're calling it the Big Apple. So I don't have the lingo down yet, but I have the attitude. - You do? - Yeah. When I was getting a locker for my backpack... at the bus stop there was this guy just standing there staring at me. And instead of ignoring him, I fixed him with a really withering stare. - That I've got to see. - No. Come on. Let me see your withering stare. It's dangerous. I could hurt you. - I've been hurt before. - No. I'm disappointed. - So, your arm's okay? - Yeah. It looks worse than it is. I like this Emily chick. A friend of yours? She's a friend to all of us dispossessed. - So here's our lunch place. - A hot-dog stand? I eat here everyday. It's nothing fancy, but... - No, I love it. It's perfect. - Good. - One with everything on it. - Make that two, please. So, how's... - Luke? - Yeah. Okay. - He went fishing. - Fishing? Yeah. He didn't catch anything though. - He probably used the wrong bait. - Yeah. That's a common fishing blunder. So he's good? Yeah, he's good. I can tell him hello for you if you want. Whatever. Thank you. - My God. This is really good. - I'm glad you like it. - So, how much time you got? - I got a bit. There's a record store you should check out. It's run by this insane freak who's a walking encyclopedia... for every punk and garage band record ever made. Catalog numbers. He's crazy. The place is right out of High Fidelity. - Let's go. - Okay. Where you going? - Subway. - I thought we were gonna walk. It's 15 blocks. Come on, I think you'll like it. - Do they allow hot dogs in the subway? - You are so an out-of-towner. Excuse me. Hi. I'm one of the graduates. Wow. You're hours early. I just wanted to beat traffic... and have time to get ready and relax and also I've heard... the early bird gets the unwrinkled gowns without the mysterious stains. - This is true. Take your pick. - Thank you. This is so exciting. Isn't this exciting? This is my eighth year of doing this. So not so exciting for you. Got it. You're being so cryptic. Do you need a power source or not? My batteries are all fully charged. It just depends on how fast they deplete. - So we need one just in case. - Mom. Lorelai, it's hours before the ceremony. What are you doing here? I'm sorry, what are you doing here? How do you even know about this? I shouldn't know about this? A mother can't know about this? - No, I just mean... - You're graduating. - I know. - So we're here to see you graduate. This is Raul. So you and Raul are just here to see me graduate. Don't be silly. Your father will be joining me later. - My father? - Yes. Remember him? Tall, bow tie. I remember Dad, Mom. I just... Rory told you. Yes. That's okay, isn't it? It's a little late if it's not. No, it's perfectly fine that you're here. Absolutely. I'm just surprised. - Who are you? - I'm Raul. - I just told you that. - Did Rory invite Raul, too? Raul is my cameraman. Cameraman? He'll be filming the ceremony for us. He's very talented. He screened an independent film of his as an audition. Welcome to Scabland. It was disgusting, but beautifully photographed. - It was supposed to be disgusting. - I'm sure it was. Mom, all this stuff. Excuse me. All of this equipment, it can't be here. We won't leave all of this equipment here for everybody to trip over. We are not cretins. She's handling it. Right, Mom, you are handling it? - This lighting sucks. - Can we do something about the lighting? I don't think so, ma'am. I don't know. It's a community college, we'll have to cope. Think documentary. Mom, please. People will be showing up here soon. Lorelai, I'm perfectly capable of handling this. No one will be inconvenienced. Okay. I'm just gonna let everyone deal with all of this... because I need to relax and get a cup of coffee... and maybe hammer a nail into my head. You're not needed here, Lorelai. Go get your coffee. Relax. You're going to redo your makeup later, aren't you? Maybe an Irish coffee. I haven't even heard of half these bands. I love that about this place. Lane would want to live here. Who's Slint? - I don't know. - Grunge band out of Kentucky. Two albums plus a double 'A' side single. Disbanded in '94. Thanks. - My God. - What? - Look. - The Go-Go's. - You must have that one. - No. For my mom. This was her favorite group when she was my age. It's signed by Belinda. This would be the perfect graduation present. I've been looking all week long, and I couldn't find anything. - Now I have Belinda. - Graduation? From college. From business classes. I'm surprised she has time for anything... except lighting darts on fire and throwing them at my picture. It's not a lot of time, but... - Go on. Get it. She'll like it. - Thank you so much for bringing me here. - This was fate. - I think it was. And in return, I just might show you my withering stare. I'm a lucky man. - I think this one's mine. - Yep. The sign says 'Booneville. ' Excuse me. I'm so sorry to bother you. Which way is 44th? - That way. - Great. Thanks. - I got asked directions. - I saw. He took me for a native. That's so cool. That's very impressive. 44th is the other way. - No. - It's all right. Man, I should go find him. He'll figure it out when he sees the numbers getting smaller. He still thought I was a native. That's cool. I'm your witness. - Well, I should go. - Okay. I got to go to my mom's graduation. - And give her Belinda. - And give her Belinda. Go on. I'll check on the guy. I'll make sure he's not wandering around looking for 44th. Why did you come here? - What? - I said, why did you come here? You ditched school and everything. That's so not you. Why'd you do it? Because you didn't say goodbye. Goodbye, Rory. Bye, Jess. - Great. I'm Woody Allen in Annie Hall. - You thought ahead. Smart. The mirror. Yeah. I never leave home without all the essentials: Mirror, makeup, picture of Shaun Cassidy. - I'm done. Do you want to use it? - Thanks. - Don't I look charming? - You look great. I looked better. I had to run here straight from work. Kinko's. Hey, Liza. That gets me thinking. Maybe you and I ought to do a little reproducing after the ceremony. - Clever. - Don't be a snot. Shut up. - That's my boyfriend, Zach. - Sure. We're breaking up'cause we're transferring to different schools. He's going to Florida State. I'm going to UMass. Although I'm gonna miss this place. - I'm not. This place stunk. It's bush-league. - Why'd you go here? My parents, wise investors that they are, couldn't afford anything else. Yeah, that 2.0 grade-point average didn't reason into things. - Shut up. - Between the lines. Go die. Sure you don't wanna give it another go, 'cause you're darling together? - Thanks for the mirror. - My pleasure. Hey, a bunch of us are going to Shaky's afterwards for pizza. You want to come? I'm going out with my daughter after, but it sounds like fun. You won't believe this. There's some blue-blooded rich woman out there... setting up professional film equipment like she's shooting a movie. - You're kidding. - Whose mother is it? I don't know. Little precious must be around here somewhere. - I hate people with money. - So do I, with every fiber of my being. Me, too. Money people. - Excuse me. - Yes? - Are we leaving soon? - I have no idea. Should you have an idea? There was an accident, closed the interstate. All outbound buses were told to stand down. And you don't know when we're gonna be allowed to stand up again? Soon, I hope. I hate missing dinner. Yeah. Me, too. There's our little graduate. My God, look at that gown. You look just like the Statue of Liberty. - All big and stony? - No. You look amazing. You look very GQ. Thanks to my best new friend Ermenegildo Zegna. Don't you love how he can pronounce it now? Very cosmopolitan. He got it for the rehearsal dinner. It's his first real suit. And not my last. I look hot. You know that Emily's out there, right? Why? - It's a long story. Just do me a favor. - Sure. Keep an eye on my parents. Make sure they don't disrupt anything. My mother doesn't behead anyone. My father doesn't snore too loudly. - They won't do anything like that. - Haven't you met them? - Why would they do that? - They're here because Rory invited them. They can't say no to that little face. It's like hitting a puppy with a rolled-up newspaper. You guys are not gonna believe this. - You're Mr. Announcement Guy today. - You'll pipe in every time I talk? - Can it. - Stuff it. - They're in love. - Clearly. Mrs. Got Bucks out there not only has a cameraman, she's got a sound guy, too. It's like a Baz Luhrmann movie out there. That's Emily, right? - Rich people feel so entitled. - Yes, damn them. I saw her wipe her face with a $100 bill. We should line them up against a wall. You know what I'm saying? - Is Lorelei Gilmore here? - Yes. Good. Have a look at these, will you? - Wow. Pretty. - Look them over and take your pick. - What for? - To wear. - Are they for sale? - No. They're paid for. These are from your mother, Emily Gilmore. - Wow. Ritzy. - I really don't want to wear a corsage. - They're all paid for. - Really. It's too much. - Your mother wants you to pick one. - Really, it's okay. She'll just come back here herself. - This one, thanks. - Good choice. The cameraman said that would look best on film. - So you're the rich girl. - Maybe. I'm not rich... but my parents have money. But I'm totally self-sufficient. I take nothing from them except this corsage and my daughter's tuition. So, are you gonna stone me? I should've guessed. Look at her friends. They're wearing suits that drip money. Hey, pal, this was 30% off. That's why you didn't want to get pizza 'cause it's below you? No, Liza. Pizza is not below me. I love pizza. I eat tons of pizza. It's one of my four major food groups. Candy, popcorn, and pizza. See. It's two of my food groups. That's how much I love pizza. I want to believe you. Enjoy your champagne and caviar at the Ritz, Your Highness. I am not rich. My pager. - Maybe this suit was a little much. - You're a fox. Now, don't start. - No. - What? - Rory's running late. - Late from what? She doesn't say. She'll be here, but if she's not here by 7:00, she'll sneak in the back. - That's weird. - She'll be here. Don't worry. I hope so. Why did it have to be snakes? Asps. Very dangerous. You go first. If you're trying to escape on foot, the desert is three weeks in every direction, so please, eat something. I must apologize for their treatment of you. Yeah. Whose idea was it? No food, no water. What kind of people are these friends of yours? At this particular time and place, to do my work, they are necessary evils. They're not my friends. However, with the right connections, even in this part of the world, we are not entirely uncivilized. It's beautiful. I would very much like to see you in it. I'll bet you would. All right. What do you got to drink around here? We don't have much time. Soon they will come to harm you, and I will not be able to stop them, unless you are able to give me something to placate them. Some, uh, piece of information... which I can use to protect you from them. I've already told you everything I know. I have no loyalty to Jones. He's brought me nothing but trouble. Marion, you are beautiful. I don't think we need a chaperone. Steadily. Steadily. Whoa! Down... Down... Whoa. Carefully, carefully! You all right, Indy? Now gently, boys. Gently, gently! Whoa... I told you it will be all right. Huh... Sallah, get down here! You pour. Oh, that's good. Whoops. What is this stuff, René? I grew up with this. It's my family label. Well... I have to be going now, René. I like you, René, very much. Perhaps we'll meet someday under better circumstances. We meet again, Fräulein. You Americans, you're all the same. Always overdressing for the wrong occasions. Now... what shall we talk about? All right... take it up! Easy! You're as stubborn as that girl. You like her too much, I think. Your methods of archeology are too primitive for me. You would use a bulldozer to find a... china cup. Colonel! Wake your men! Indy, the torches are burning out. Go on, get out of here. Hyah! - Sallah! - Hello! Hello! Why, Dr. Jones, whatever are you doing in such a nasty place? Why don't you come on down here! I'll show you! Thank you, my friend, but I think we are all very comfortable up here. That's right, isn't it? Yes, we are very comfortable up here. So, once again, Jones, what was briefly yours is now mine. What a fitting end to your life's pursuits. You're about to become a permanent addition to this archeological find. Who knows? In a thousand years, even you may be worth something. Son of a bitch. I'm afraid we must be going now, Dr. Jones. Our prize is awaited in Berlin. But I do not wish to leave you down in that awful place all alone. Slimy pig, you let me go! Stop it! Marion! Hang on. Don't... - Indy! - Don't fall! Marion, I got you! I got you! I got you! You traitor! You get your hands off of me! Snakes! Oh, sh... oh, at your feet! The girl was mine! She's of no use to us. Only our mission for the Führer matters. I wonder sometimes, monsieur, if you have that clearly in mind. It was not to be, chérie. You bastards! I'll get you for this! Indiana Jones... adieu. No! Take this. Wave it at anything that slithers. Thank you. Oh, my God, this whole place is slithering. Indy! Ow! Jesus! Where did you get this? From him? I was trying to escape. No thanks to you. How hard were you trying? Well, where the hell were you? Watch it, watch it. - What are you doing? - For the fire! How the hell are we going to get out of here? I'm working on it! I'm working on it! Well, whatever you're doing, do it faster. Ah... Where are you going? Through that wall. Just get ready to run, whatever happens to me. What do you mean by that? Indy! Damn it! Don't you leave me down here by myself! Indy! Here we go! Get ready! Indy, the torch is going out! Indy? Marion! Look. Look. They're going to fly it out of here. When that Ark gets loaded, we're already going to be on the plane. Ah, monsieur, let us toast our success in the desert. To the Ark. When we are very far from here. That will do. Hey, you now... Come here! Come here! Indy! Stay with the Ark! Stay with the Ark! Look out! Oh, my God. Marion. In here! Up here! Indy, come on! Pull on the latch! Move up! It's gonna blow up! It's stuck! Indy! I can't force the lock! It's stuck! - Turn it! Turn it! - It's stuck! Turn it there! Never mind! Get back! Get back! Get the Ark away from this place immediately. Have it put on the truck. We'll fly it out of Cairo. And Gobler, I want plenty of protection. Jones. Holy smoke, my friends, I... I'm so pleased you're not dead! Indy, Indy, we have no time. If you still want the Ark, it is being loaded onto a truck for Cairo. Truck? What truck? Let's go! Get back to Cairo. Get us some transport to England... boat, plane, anything. Meet me at Omar's. Be ready for me. I'm going after that truck. - How? - I don't know. I'm making this up as I go. Ew! He's there! Idiot! Idiot! Everything at last has been arranged. - The Ark? - Is on board. Nothing is lacking, now that you're here. Or what is left of you. - You trust these guys? - Yes. Mr. Katanga. Mr. Katanga, these are my friends. They are my family. I will hear of it if they are not treated well. My cabin is theirs. Mr. Jones... I've heard a lot about you, sir. Your appearance is exactly the way I imagined. Good-bye. Look after each other. I am already missing you. You're my good friend. Sallah. That is for Fayah... that is for your children... and this is for you. Thank you. A British tar is a soaring soul As free as a mountain bird His energetic fist should be ready to a dictator... Where did you go? I'm cleaning up. Where'd you get that? From him. Who him? Katanga. I got a feeling I'm not the first woman ever to travel with these pirates. It's lovely. Yeah? Yeah. Really? Yeah. What'd you say? Wait... I don't need any help. You know you do. You're not the man I knew ten years ago. It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage. You are... Please, I don't need a nurse. - I just want to sleep. - Don't be such a baby. Marion, leave me alone. - What is this here? - Go away. Yes, it hurts. Ow! Well, goddamn it, Indy, where doesn't it hurt? Here. This isn't too bad. Here. Jones... Jones? We never seem to get a break, do we? What is it? Engines have stopped. I'm going to go check. - What's happening? - We have most important friends. Holy shit. I sent my man for you. You and the girl must disappear. We have a place in the hold. Come on, go, go, go. Come on, go, my friend, go. Where is Dr. Jones? What's the big idea? Let go! Don't you touch me. What about Jones? There's no trace yet, sir. Jones is dead. I killed him. He was of no use to us. This girl, however, has certain value where we're headed. She'll bring a very good price. Mmm? Herr Colonel, that cargo you've taken... If it's your goal, go in peace with it, but leave us the girl. It would reduce our loss on this trip. Savage! You are not in the position to ask for anything. We will take what we wish. And then decide whether or not to blow your ship from the water. The girl goes with me. She'll be part of my compensation. I'm sure your Führer would approve. If she fails to please me, you may do with her as you wish. I will waste no more time with her now. Excuse me. I can't find Mr. Jones, Captain. I've looked everywhere. He's got to be here somewhere. Look again. - I found him. - Where? There. The altar has been prepared in accordance with your radio instructions, sir. Good. Take the Ark there immediately. Monsieur... I am uncomfortable with the thought of this... Jewish ritual. Are you sure it's necessary? Let me ask you this: Would you be more comfortable opening the Ark in Berlin, for your Führer? Finding out, only then, if the sacred pieces of the Covenant are inside? Knowing, only then, whether you have accomplished your mission, and obtained the one true Ark? Hello! Jones. Jones! I'm going to blow up the Ark, René. Your persistence surprises even me. You're going to give mercenaries a bad name. Dr. Jones... surely you don't think you can escape from this island. That depends on how reasonable we're all willing to be. All I want is the girl. If we refuse? Then your Führer has no prize. Okay, stand back. All of you, stand back. Stand back. Okay, Jones. You win! Blow it up. Yes, blow it up! Blow it back to God. All your life has been spent in pursuit of archeological relics. Inside the Ark are treasures beyond your wildest aspirations. You want to see it open as well as I. Indiana... we are simply passing through history. This... This is history. Do as you will. Marion, don't look at it. Shut your eyes, Marion. Don't look at it, no matter what happens. Ah... It's beautiful! Indy? Don't look, Marion! Keep your eyes shut! Marion. You've done your country a great service, and we thank you. And we trust you found the settlement satisfactory. Oh, the money's fine. The situation's totally unacceptable. Well, gentlemen, I guess that just about wraps it up. Where is the Ark? I thought we'd settled that. The Ark is somewhere very safe. From whom? The Ark is a source of unspeakable power and it has to be researched. And it will be, I assure you, Dr. Brody, Dr. Jones. We have top men working on it right now. Who? Top men. Hey, what happened? You don't look very happy. - Fools. Bureaucratic fools. - What'd they say? They don't know what they've got there. Well, I know what I've got here. Come on. I'll buy you a drink. You know... a drink? 4.36GB; x264 5040kbps 1280x544 23.976fps; AC3 2.0 384kbps The Hovitos are near. The poison is still fresh, three days. They're following us. If they knew we were here, they would've killed us already. This is it. This is where Forrestal cashed in. A friend of yours? A competitor. He was good. He was very, very good. Senor... nobody's come out of there alive. Please... Senor. Stop. Stay out of the light. Forrestal. Let us hurry. There is nothing to fear here. That's what scares me. Stay here. If you insist, senor. Give me the whip. Throw me the idol. No time to argue. Throw me the idol, I throw you the whip. Give me the whip! Adios, senor. Adios, Satipo. Dr. Jones. Again we see there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away. And you thought I had given up. You chose the wrong friends. This time, it will cost you. Too bad the Hovitos... don't know you the way I do, Belloq. Yes, too bad. You could warn them, if only you spoke Hovitos. Jock! Start the engines! Get it up! Jock, the engines! Start the engines, Jock! There's a big snake in the plane, Jock! Oh, that's just my pet snake Reggie! I hate snakes, Jock! I hate 'em! Come on! Show a little backbone, will ya? "Neo," meaning "new" and "lithic"... I-T-H I-C, meaning "stone." All right, let's get back to this site: Turkdean Barrow, near Hazelton. Contains a central pas-passage and three chambers, or cysts don't confuse that with robbing, in which case we mean the removal of the contents of the barrow. This site also demonstrates one of the great dangers of archaeology.. not to life and limb, although that does sometimes take place.. no, I'm talking about folklore. In this case, local tradition held that there was golden coffin buried at the site, and this accounts for the holes dug all over the barrow and the generally poor condition of the find. However, chamber three was undisturbed, and the undisturbed chamber and the grave goods that were found in another, uh.. in the area, give us a r.. Uh reason to da.. to, uh, to-to date this, uh, find as we have. Um... Any questions, then? No? Okay, that's it for the day, then. Um, don't forget.. Michaelson, chapters four and five for next time. And I will be in my office on Thursday, but not Wednesday. I had it, Marcus. I had it in my hand. What happened? Guess. Belloq? You want to hear about it? Not at all. I'm sure everything you do for the museum conforms to the lnternational Treaty for the Protection of Antiquities. It's beautiful, Marcus. I can get it. I got it all figured out. There's only one place he can sell it: Marrakech. I need $2,000. Look.. Listen to me, old boy. I brought some people to see you. Look. I got these pieces. They're good pieces, Marcus. -Look. -Indiana... Yes, the museum will buy them, as usual, no questions asked. Yes, they are nice. They're worth at least the price of a ticket to Marrakech. But the people I brought are important, and they're waiting. What people? Army Intelligence. They knew you were coming before I did. Seem to know everything. They wouldn't tell me what they want. Well, what do I want to see them for? What am I, in trouble? Yes, Dr. Jones, we've heard a great deal about you. Have you? Uh, professor of archaeology, expert on the occult, and, uh, how does one say it? Obtainer of rare antiquities. That's one way of saying it. Why don't you sit down? You'll be more comfortable. -Oh, thank you. -Thank you. Yes, you're a man of many talents. Now, you studied under Professor Ravenwood at the University of Chicago. Yes, I did. You have no idea of his present whereabouts? Uh... well, just rumors, really. Somewhere in Asia, I think. I haven't really spoken to him for ten years. We were friends, but, uh... had a bit of a falling out, I'm afraid. Mmm. Dr. Jones, now, you must understand that this is all strictly confidential, eh? I understand. Uh... Yesterday afternoon, our European sections intercepted a... a German communiqué that was sent from Cairo to Berlin. -Now, to Cairo... -See, over the last two years, the Nazis have had teams of archaeologists running around the world looking for all kinds of religious artifacts. Hitler's a nut on the subject. He's crazy. He's obsessed with the occult. And, right now, apparently, there's some kind of German archaeological dig going on in the desert outside of Cairo. Now, we've got some information here, but we can't make anything out of it, and maybe you can. "Tanis development proceeding. "Acquire headpiece, Staff of Ra. Abner Ravenwood, U.S." The Nazis have discovered Tanis. Just what does that mean to you, uh, Tanis? Well, it.. The city of Tanis is one of the possible resting places of the Lost Ark. The Lost Ark? Yeah, the Ark of the Covenant. The chest the Hebrews used to carry around the Ten Commandments. What do you mean, "commandments"? You talking about the Ten Commandments? Yes, the actual Ten Commandments. The original stone tablets that Moses brought down out of Mount Horeb and smashed, if you believe in that sort of thing. Any of you guys ever go to Sunday school? Well, I... Oh, look. The Hebrews took the broken pieces and put them in the Ark. When they settled in Canaan, they put the Ark in a place called the Temple of Solomon. In Jerusalem. Where it stayed for many years. Until, all of a sudden, whoosh, it's gone. Where? Well, nobody knows where or when. However, an Egyptian pharaoh... -Shishak. -Yes. ...invaded the city of Jerusalem right about 980 BC, and he may have taken the Ark back to the city of Tanis and hidden it in a secret chamber called the Well of Souls. Secret chamber? However, about a year after the pharaoh would return to Egypt, the city of Tanis was consumed by the desert in a sandstorm which lasted a whole year. Wiped clean by the wrath of God. Uh-huh. Obviously, we've come to the right men. Now you seem to know, uh, all about this Tanis, then. No, no, not really. Ravenwood is the real expert. Abner did the first serious work on Tanis. Collected some of its relics. It was his obsession, really. But he never found the city. Frankly, we're somewhat suspicious of Mr. Ravenwood. An American being mentioned so prominently in a secret Nazi cable. Oh, rubbish. Ravenwood's no Nazi. Well, what do the Nazis want him for, then? Well, obviously, the Nazis are looking for the headpiece to the Staff of Ra and they think Abner's got it. What exactly is a headpiece to the Staff of Ra? Well, the staff is just a stick.. I don't know, about this big, nobody really knows for sure how high.. and it's... it's, uh... it's capped with an elaborate headpiece... in the shape of the sun, with a crystal in the center. And what you did was you take the staff to a special room in Tanis.. a map room with a miniature of the city all laid out on the floor- and if you put the staff in a certain place, at a certain time of day, the sun shone through here and made a beam that came down on the floor here... and gave you the exact location of the Well of the Souls. Where the Ark of the Covenant was kept, right? Which is exactly what the Nazis are looking for. What does this Ark look like? Uh... There's a picture of it right here. That's it. Good God. Yes, that's just what the Hebrews thought. Uh... now, what's that supposed to be coming out of there? Lightning... fire... power of God or something. I'm beginning to understand Hitler's interest in this. Oh, yes. The Bible speaks of the Ark leveling mountains, and laying waste to entire regions. An army which carries the Ark before it... is invincible. You did it, didn't you? They want you to go for it. Oh, Marcus! They want you to get ahold of the Ark before the Nazis do and they're prepared to pay handsomely for it. And the museum? The museum gets the Ark when we're finished? Oh, yes. Oh... The Ark of the Covenant. Nothing else has come close. That thing represents everything we got into archaeology for in the first place. Mmm! You know, five years ago, I would've gone after it myself. I'm really rather envious. I've got to locate Abner. I think I know where to start. Suppose she'll still be with him? Possibly, but... Marion's the least of your worries right now, believe me, Indy. What do you mean? Well, I mean that for nearly 3,000 years, man has been searching for the Lost Ark. Not something to be taken lightly. No one knows its secrets. It's like nothing you've ever gone after before. Oh, Marcus. What are you trying to do, scare me? You sound like my mother. We've known each other for a long time. I don't believe in magic, a lot of superstitious hocus-pocus. I'm going after a find of incredible historical significance. You're talking about the bogeyman. Besides, you know what a cautious fellow I am. Nice to see you again, Dr. Jones. Thank you. Shh... shh... Shh... Give him space! Give him space! Go on, Regan! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Hello, Marion. Indiana Jones. Always knew, someday, you'd come walking back through my door. I never doubted that. Something made it inevitable. So, what are you doing here in Nepal? I need one of the pieces your father collected. I learned to hate you in the last ten years. I never meant to hurt you. I was a child. I was in love. It was wrong and you knew it! You knew what you were doing. Now I do! This is my place. Get out! I did what I did. You don't have to be happy about it, but maybe we could help each other out now. I need one of the pieces your father collected. Bronze piece, about this size, with a hole in it, off-center, with a crystal. You know the one I mean? Yeah. I know it. Where's Abner? Where's Abner? Abner's dead. Marion, I'm sorry. Do you know what you did to me, to my life? I can only say I'm sorry so many times. Well, say it again, anyway. Sorry. Yeah, everybody's sorry. Abner was sorry for dragging me all over this earth looking for his little bits of junk. I'm sorry to still be stuck in this dive. Everybody's sorry for something. It's a worthless bronze medallion, Marion. You going to give it to me? Maybe. I don't know where it is. Well, maybe you could find it. 3,000 bucks. Well, that will get me back, but not in style. I can get you another two when we get to the States. It's important, Marion. Trust me. You know the piece I mean? Do you know where it is? Come back tomorrow. Why? Because I said so, that's why. Ha! See you tomorrow, Indiana Jones. Good evening, Fraulein. The bar's closed. We... We are... not thirsty. What do you want? The same thing your friend Dr. Jones wanted. Surely he told you there would be other interested parties. Must've slipped his mind. The man is... nefarious. I hope, for your sake, he has not yet acquired it. Why, are you willing to offer more? Oh, almost certainly. Do you still have it? No. But I know where it is. Hey, how about a drink for you and your men? Your fire is dying here. Why don't you tell me where the piece is right now? Listen, Herr Mac... I don't know what kind of people you're used to dealing with, but nobody tells me what to do in my place. Fraulein Ravenwood, let me show you what I am used to. Take your hands off me! Take your lousy hands off! Wait a minute. Wait, I... I can be reasonable. That time is passed. You don't need that. Wait... I'll tell you everything. Yes, I know you will. Let her go. Whiskey. Shoot them. Shoot them both. My medallion! Well, Jones, at least you haven't forgotten how to show a lady a good time! Boy, you're something! Yeah, I'll tell you what. Until I get back my $5,000, you're going to get more than you bargained for. I'm your goddamn partner! Cairo, city of the living. A paradise on earth. Silence! Why do you forget yourselves? What is this? Where did this animal come from? Oh... oh, no. Cute. What an adorable creature. Then it shall be welcome in our house. Oh, well, no, you don't have to keep it here just because of me. I knew the Germans would hire you, Sallah. You're the best digger in Egypt. My services are entirely inconsequential to them. They've hired or shanghaied every digger in Cairo. The excavation is enormous. They hire only strong backs and they pay pennies for them. It's as if the pharaohs had returned. When did they find the map room? Three days ago. They have not one brain among them. Except one. He is very clever. He's a French archaeologist. What's his name? They call him "Bellosh." Belloq. Belloq. The Germans have a great advantage over us. They are near to discovering the Well of Souls. Well, they're not going to find it without this. Who can tell us about these markings? Perhaps a man I know can help us. Indy... there is something that troubles me. What is it? The Ark. If it is there, at Tanis, then it is something that man was not meant to disturb. Death has always surrounded it. It is not of this earth. Do we need the monkey, huh? I'm surprised at you, Jones- talking that way about our baby. He's got your looks, too. And your brains. Oops! I noticed that. She's a smart little thing-- smart. Hey! Hey, where you going? She'll be all right. Have a date. Come on. Come on. Okay... Marion. What's this? It's a date. You eat 'em. How come you haven't found some nice girl to settle down with, raise eight or nine kids, like your friend Sallah? Who says I haven't? I do. Dad had you figured a long time ago. He said you were a bum. Oh, he's being generous. The most gifted bum he ever trained. You know, he loved you like a son. Took a hell of a lot for you to alienate him. Not much, just you. Marion, get out of here! Duck! Right. Shh! Shh! Marion! Help! Over here, Indy! Get out of the way! Move! Move it! Help me! You can't do this to me! I'm an American! Indy! Indiana Jones! Help me, Jones! Jones! Marion! Indy! Marion... Dr. Jones. You looking for me? Belloq. Good afternoon, Dr. Jones. I ought to kill you right now. Not a very private place for a murder. Well, these Arabs don't care if we kill each other. They're not going to interfere in our business. It was not I who brought the girl into this business. Please, sit down before you fall down. We can at least behave like civilized people. I see your taste in friends remains consistent. How odd that it should end this way for us, after so many stimulating encounters. I almost regret it. Where shall I find a new adversary so close to my own level? Try the local sewer. You and I are very much alike. Archaeology is our religion, yet we have both fallen from the purer faith. Our methods have not differed as much as you pretend. I am a shadowy reflection of you. It would take only a nudge to make you like me, to push you out of the light. Now you're getting nasty. You know it's true. How nice. Look at this. It's worthless. Ten dollars from a vendor in the street. But I take it, I bury it in the sand for a thousand years, it becomes priceless... like the Ark. Men will kill for it. Men like you and me. What about your boss, der Fuehrer? I thought he was waiting to take possession. All in good time. When I am finished with it. Jones, do you realize what the Ark is? It's a transmitter. It's a radio for speaking to God. And it's within my reach. You want to talk to God? Let's go see Him together. I've got nothing better to do. Uncle Indy, come back home now! Uncle Indy! Next time, Indiana Jones, it'll take more than children to save you. Uncle Indy! I thought I would find you there. Better than the United States Marines, eh? Marion's dead. Yes, I know. And me! And me! I'm sorry. Life goes on, Indy. There is the proof. Uh-oh. I have much to tell you. First we will take them home, and then I will take you to the old man. I can't figure out how Belloq did it. Where'd he get a copy of the headpiece? There are no pictures, no duplicates of it anywhere. I tell you only what I saw with my own eyes: A headpiece like that one, except round the edges, which were rougher. In the center, the Frenchman had embedded a crystal, and... and surrounding the crystal, on one side, there were raised markings, just like that one. They made their calculations in the map room? This morning. Belloq and the boss German, Dietrich. When they came out of the map room, they gave us a new spot in which to dig, out away from the camp. The Well of the Souls, huh? Come, come, look. Look here... look. Sit down. Come, sit down. What is it? This is a warning not to disturb the Ark of the Covenant. What about the height of the staff, though? Did Belloq get it off of here? Yes. It is here. This were the old way, this mean six kadam high. -About 72 inches. -Wait! "And take back one kadam to honor the Hebrew God whose Ark this is." You said their headpiece only had markings on one side. Are you absolutely sure? Belloq's staff is too long. They're digging in the wrong place. I am the monarch of the sea I am the ruler of the.. Bad dates. I told you not to be premature in your communiqué to Berlin. Archaeology is not an exact science. It does not deal in time schedules. The führer is not a patient man. He demands constant reports, and he expects progress. You led me to believe... Nothing! I made no promises. I only said it looked very favorable. Besides, with the information in our possession, my calculations were correct. Boy, they're not kidding, are they? What time does the sun hit the map room? At about 9:00 in the morning. Not much time, then. Where are they digging for the Well of the Souls? On that ridge... but the map room's over there. Let's go, come on. Sallah. Sallah! They're here. Please, my friend, what is the matter? I fetch the water. I shall get it for you. If you want water, I will get you water. No problem, no problem. I thought you were dead. You must have switched baskets. Are you hurt? No. You have to get me out of here, quick. They're gonna be back at any minute. Cut me loose. Quick. They keep asking about you. What you know. What's wrong? Cut me loose. I know where the Ark is, Marion. The Ark's here? I'm coming with you, Jones. Get me out of here! Cut me loose! You can't leave me here! If I take you out of here now, they'll start combing the place for us. Jones, you've got to get me out of here! Come on, Jones, are you crazy? ! Marion, I hate to do this, but if you don't sit still and keep quiet, this whole thing is going to be shot. I'll be back to get you. Jones, what's the matter? That's it. Who knows? Perhaps the Ark is still waiting in some antechamber for us to discover. Perhaps there's some vital bit of evidence which eludes us. Perhaps... Perhaps the girl can help us. My feeling exactly. She was in possession of the original piece for years. She may know much, if properly motivated. I tell you, the girl knows nothing. I'm surprised to find you squeamish. That is not your reputation. But it needn't concern you. I have the perfect man for this kind of work. Heil Hitler. Indy! Here! We've hit stone! Clear it off. Come on, find the edges. Good, good, good. You see, Indy? You see? Okay, bring the pry bars in. As a team, boys! As a team! Push! Get 'em in there. Get 'em under. Good, good, that's it. Watch your toes. Carefully, carefully! Sorry, Indy. Indy... why does the floor move? Give me your torch. Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes? Asps. Very dangerous. You go first. If you're trying to escape on foot, the desert is three weeks in every direction, so please, eat something. I must apologize for their treatment of you. Yeah. Whose idea was it? No food, no water. What kind of people are these friends of yours? At this particular time and place, to do my work, they are necessary evils. They're not my friends. However, with the right connections, even in this part of the world, we are not entirely uncivilized. It's beautiful. I would very much like to see you in it. I'll bet you would. All right. What do you got to drink around here? We don't have much time. Soon they will come to harm you, Soon they will come to harm you, and I will not be able to stop them, unless you are able to give me something to placate them. Some, uh, piece of information... which I can use to protect you from them. I've already told you everything I know. I have no loyalty to Jones. He's brought me nothing but trouble. Marion, you are beautiful. I don't think we need a chaperone. Steadily. Steadily. Whoa! Down... Down.. Whoa. Carefully, carefully! You all right, Indy? Now gently, boys. Gently, gently! Whoa... I told you it will be all right. Huh... Sallah, get down here! You pour. Oh, that's good. Whoops. What is this stuff, Rene? I grew up with this. It's my family label. Well... I have to be going now, Rene. I like you, Rene, very much. Perhaps we'll meet someday under better circumstances. We meet again, Fraulein. You Americans, you're all the same. Always overdressing for the wrong occasions. Now... what shall we talk about? All right... take it up! Easy! You're as stubborn as that girl. You like her too much, I think. Your methods of archaeology are too primitive for me. You would use a bulldozer to find a... China cup. Shliemann! Wake your men! Indy, the torches are burning out. Go on, get out of here. Hyah! Sallah! Hello! Hello! Why, Dr. Jones, whatever are you doing in such a nasty place? Why don't you come on down here! I'll show you! Thank you, my friend, but I think we are all very comfortable up here. That's right, isn't it? Yes, we are very comfortable up here. So, once again, Jones, what was briefly yours is now mine. What a fitting end to your life's pursuits. You're about to become a permanent addition to this archaeological find. Who knows? In a thousand years, even you may be worth something. Son of a bitch. I'm afraid we must be going now, Dr. Jones. Our prize is awaited in Berlin. But I do not wish to leave you down in that awful place all alone. Slimy pig, you let me go! Stop it! Marion! Hang on. Don't... -Indy! -Don't fall! Marion, I got you! I got you! I got you! You traitor! You get your hands off of me! Snakes! Oh, sh... oh, at your feet! The girl was mine! She's of no use to us. Only our mission for the führer matters. I wonder sometimes, Monsieur, if you have that clearly in mind. It was not to be, chérie. You bastards! I'll get you for this! Indiana Jones... adieu. No! Take this. Wave it at anything that slithers. Thank you. Oh, my God, this whole place is slithering. Indy! Ow! Jesus! Where did you get this? From him? I was trying to escape. No thanks to you. How hard were you trying? Well, where the hell were you? Watch it, watch it. What are you doing? For the fire! How the hell are we going to get out of here? I'm working on it! I'm working on it! Well, whatever you're doing, do it faster. Ah... Where are you going? Through that wall. Just get ready to run, whatever happens to me. What do you mean by that? Indy! Damn it! Don't you leave me down here by myself! Indy! Here we go! Get ready! Indy, the torch is going out! Indy? Marion! Look. Look. They're going to fly it out of here. When that Ark gets loaded, we're already going to be on the plane. Ah, monsieur, let us toast our success in the desert. To the Ark. When we are very far from here. That will do. Hey, you now.. come here! Come here! Indy! Stay with the Ark! Stay with the Ark! Look out! Oh, my God. Marion. In here! Up here! Indy, come on! Hold on! Move up! It's gonna blow up! It's stuck! Indy! I can't push it off! It's stuck! -Turn it! Turn it! -It's stuck! Turn it there! Never mind! Get back! Get back! Get the Ark away from this place immediately. Have it put on the truck. We'll fly it out of Cairo. And Gobler, I want plenty of protection. Jones. Holy smoke, my friends, I... I'm so pleased you're not dead! Indy, Indy, we have no time. If you still want the Ark, it is being loaded onto a truck for Cairo. Truck? What truck? Let's go! Get back to Cairo. Get us some transport to England- boat, plane, anything. Meet me at Omar's. Be ready for me. I'm going after that truck. How? I don't know. I'm making this up as I go. Ew! He's there! Idiot! Idiot! Everything at last has been arranged. The Ark? Is on board. Nothing is lacking, now that you're here. Or what is left of you. You trust these guys? Yes. Mr. Katanga. Mr. Katanga, these are my friends. They are my family. I will hear of it if they are not treated well. My cabin is theirs. Mr. Jones... I've heard a lot about you, sir. Your appearance is exactly the way I imagined. Good-bye. Look out for each other. I am already missing you. You're my good friend. Sallah. That is for Fayah... that is for your children... and this is for you. Thank you. A British tar is a soaring soul As free as a mountain bird His energetic fist should be ready to a dictator... Where did you go? I'm cleaning up. Where'd you get that? From him. Who him? Katanga. I got a feeling I'm not the first woman ever to travel with these pirates. It's lovely. Yeah? Yeah. Really? Yeah. What'd you say? Wait... I don't need any help. You know you do. You're not the man I knew ten years ago. It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage. You are... Please, I don't need a nurse. -I just want to sleep. -Don't be such a baby. Marion, leave me alone. -What is this here? -Go away. Yes, it hurts. Ow! Well, goddamn it, Indy, where doesn't it hurt? Here. Here. This isn't too bad. Here. Jones... Jones? We never seem to get a break, do we? What is it? Engines have stopped. I'm going to go check. What's happening? We have most important friends. Holy shit. I sent my man for you. You and the girl must disappear. We have a place in the hold. Come on, go, go, go. Come on, go, my friend, go. Where is Dr. Jones? What's the big idea? Let go! Don't you touch me. What about Jones? There's no trace yet, sir. Jones is dead. I killed him. He was of no use to us. This girl, however, has certain value where we're headed. She'll bring a very good price. Mmm? Herr Colonel, that cargo you've taken- if it's your goal, go in peace with it, but leave us the girl. It would reduce our loss on this trip. Savage! You are not in the position to ask for anything. We will take what we wish. And then decide whether or not to blow your ship from the water. The girl goes with me. She'll be part of my compensation. I'm sure your führer would approve. If she fails to please me, you may do with her as you wish. I will waste no more time with her now. Excuse me. I can't find Mr. Jones, Captain. I've looked everywhere. He's got to be here somewhere. Look again. -I found him. -Where? There. The altar has been prepared in accordance with your radio instructions, sir. Good. Take the Ark there immediately. Monsieur... I am uncomfortable with the thought of this... Jewish ritual. Are you sure it's necessary? Let me ask you this: Would you be more comfortable opening the Ark in Berlin, for your führer? Finding out, only then, if the sacred pieces of the Covenant are inside? Knowing, only then, whether you have accomplished your mission, and obtained the one true Ark? Hello! Jones. Jones! I'm going to blow up the Ark, Rene. Your persistence surprises even me. You're going to give mercenaries a bad name. Dr. Jones... surely you don't think you can escape from this island. That depends on how reasonable we're all willing to be. All I want is the girl. If we refuse? Then your führer has no prize. Okay, stand back. All of you, stand back. Stand back. Okay, Jones. You win! Blow it up. Yes, blow it up! Blow it back to God. All your life has been spent in pursuit of archaeological relics. Inside the Ark are treasures beyond your wildest aspirations. You want to see it open as well as I. Indiana... we are simply passing through history. This... This is history. Do as you will. Marion, don't look at it. Shut your eyes, Marion. Don't look at it, no matter what happens. Ah... It's beautiful! Indy? Don't look, Marion! Keep your eyes shut! Marion. You've done your country a great service, and we thank you and we trust you found the settlement satisfactory. Oh, the money's fine. The situation's totally unacceptable. Well, gentlemen, I guess that just about wraps it up. Where is the Ark? I thought we'd settled that. The Ark is somewhere very safe. From whom? The Ark is a source of unspeakable power and it has to be researched. And it will be, I assure you, Dr. Brody, Dr. Jones. We have top men working on it right now. Who? Top men. Hey, what happened? You don't look very happy. Fools. Bureaucratic fools. What'd they say? They don't know what they've got there. Well, I know what I've got here. Come on. I'll buy you a drink. You know... a drink? Subtitles resynced by Maza The poison is still fresh...three days. They're following us. If they knew we were here, they would have killed us already. This is it. This is where Forrestal cashed in. A friend of yours? A competitor. He was good. He was very, very good. Señor, nobody has come out of there alive... Please. Señor! Stop. Stay out of the light. Forrestal. Let us hurry. There is nothing to fear here. That's what scares me. Stay here. If you insist Señor. Give me the whip. Throw me the idol. No time to argue. Throw me the idol, I throw you the whip. Give me the whip. Adios señor. Adios stupido. Dr. Jones. Again we see there is nothing you can possess which I can not take away. And you thought I'd given up. You choose the wrong friends. This time it will cost you. Too bad the Hovitos don't know you the way I do, Belloq. Yes. Too bad. You could warn them... if only you spoke Hovitos. Jock, start the engine! Get it up! Jock, the engine! start the engine Jock! There is a big snake in the plane, Jock! Oh, that's just my pet snake Reggie. I hate snakes Jock. I hate them. Come on. Show a little backbone will you. Neo, Meaning new and litic... i..t..h..i..c, Meaning stone. Alright, lets get back to this site, thriton borough near Hazleton Contains a central path passage, and three chambers, or cysts. This site also demonstrates... one of the great dangers of archaeology -not to life and limb - although that does sometimes take place. No, I'm talking about folklore. In this case, Local tradition held that it was a golden coffin buried at the site. This accounts for the holes dug all over the burrow, and the generally poor condition of the find. However, chamber three was undisturbed, and the undisturbed chamber in the grave goods that was found in another... ..in the area...give us.... ...reason to date this find that we have. Any questions then? No? That's it for today then. Don't forget, Michelson chapter four and five for next time. And I will be in my office at Thursday but not Wednesday. I had it Marcus, I had it in my hand. What happened? Guess. Belloq? Want to hear about it? Not at all. I'm sure everything given to you for the museum conforms to the international treaty for the protection of antiquities. It's beautiful Marcus. I can get it. I got it all figured out. There is only one place you can sell it: Marrakech. I need two thousand dollars. Listen to me. I brought some people to see you. Look. I got these pieces. They're good pieces Marcus. Indiana! Yes the museum will buy them as usual, no questions asked - yes they are nice. They are worth at least the price for a ticket to Marrakech. But the people I brought are important - they are waiting. What people? The army Intelligence. They knew you were coming before I did. Seem to know everything. Wouldn't tell me what they want. What do I want to see them for? What am I - In trouble? Yes, Dr. Jones. We have heard a great deal about you. Have you? Professor of archaeology, expert on the occult. And uh, how does one say it - obtainer of rare antiquities. That's one way of saying it. Why don't you sit down? You would be more comfortable. Yes, you're a man of many talents. And you studied under Professor Ravenwood, at the University of Chicago? Yes, I did. You have no idea of his present whereabouts? Ah, just rumors really. Somewhere in Asia I think. I haven't really spoken with him for ten years. We were friends but...been a bit of a falling out I'm afraid. Dr Jones, you must understand that this is all strictly confidential. I understand. Yesterday afternoon our European section intercepted a German Communique that was sent from Cairo to Berlin. You see, over the last two years the Nazis have had teams of archaeologists running around the world looking for all kinds of religious artifacts. Hitler is a nut on the subject. He's crazy. He's obsessed with the occult. And right now apparently there is some kind of German archaeological dig going on in the desert outside of Cairo. We've got some information here, but we can't make anything out of it and maybe you can. "Tanis development proceeding. Acquire headpiece". "Staff of Ra. Abner Ravenwood, U.S." The Nazis have discovered Tanis... So what does that mean to you... - Tanis? City of Tanis is one of the possible resting places of the Lost Ark. The lost ark? Yeah, the Ark of the Covenant, the chest the Hebrews used to carry around the Ten Commandments. What do you mean commandments, are you talking about "the" ten commandments? Yes, the actual ten commandments. the original stone tablets that Moses brought down out of Mt. Heron and smashed, if you believe in that sort of thing. Any of you guys ever go to Sunday school? The Hebrews took the broken pieces and put them in the Ark... and when they settled in Canaan, they put the Ark in a place called the Temple of Solomon. in Jerusalem. where it stayed for many years, until, all of a sudden, whoosh, it's gone. Where? Nobody knows where or when. However, an Egyptian pharaoh Shishak invaded the city of Jerusalem around about 980 BC and he may have taken the Ark back to the city of Tanis, and hidden it in a secret chamber called the Well of Souls... Secret chamber.... However, about a year after the pharaoh had returned to Egypt, the city of Tanis was consumed by the desert in a sandstorm which lasted a whole year, wiped clean by the wrath of God. Obviously we've come to the right men, you seem to know all about this Tanis. No, no, not really. Ravenwood is the real expert. Abner did the first serious work on Tanis, collected some of its relics. It was his obsession really. But he never found the city. Frankly, we're somewhat suspicious of Mr. Ravenwood. An American being mentioned so prominently in a secret Nazi cable. Oh rubbish! Ravenwood's no Nazi. What do the Nazis want him for then? Obviously, the Nazis are looking for the headpiece to the Staff of Ra and they think Abner's got it... What exactly is a head piece to the staff of Ra? The Staff is just a stick...about this big. Nobody really knows for sure how high it is... it's capped by an elaborate headpiece, in the shape of a sun with a crystal in the center. And what you did was you take this Staff to a special room in Tanis, a map room, a miniature of the city all laid out on the floor. And if you put the Staff in a certain place at a certain time of day, the sun shone through here and made a beam that came down on the floor here, and gave you the exact location of the Well of the Souls. Where the Ark of the Covenant was kept, right? That's exactly what the Nazis are looking for! What does this Ark look like? There is a picture of it right here. That's it. Good God! Yes, that's just what the Hebrew's thought. Now what's that supposed to be coming out of there? Lightning, fire... Power of God or something. I'm beginning to understand Hitler's interest in this. Oh, yes. The Bible speaks of the Ark leveling mountains and laying waste entire regions. An army which carries the Ark before it is invincible. You did it didn't you? They wants you to go for it! Wow, Marcus! They wants you to get a hold of the ark before the Nazis do, and they're prepared to pay handsomely for it. And the museum? The museum gets the ark when we're finished? Oh, yes. The Ark of the Covenant. Nothing else has come close. That thing represents everything we got into archaeology for in the first place. You know, five years ago I would have gone after it myself. I'm really rather envious. I've got to locate Abner. I think I know where to start. Will she still be with him? Possibly. Marion is the least of your worries right now, believe me Indy. What do you mean? Well, I mean, for nearly three thousand years, man has been searching for the lost Ark. That's not something to be taken lightly. No one knows its secrets. It's like nothing you've ever gone after before. Oh, Marcus, what are you trying to do, Scare me? You sound like my mother. We've known each other for a long time - I don't believe in magic, a lot of superstitious hocus-pocus. I'm going after a find of incredible historical significance. You're talking about the boogie-man. Besides, you know what a cautious fellow I am. Nice to see you again doctor Jones. Thank you. Hello Marion. Indiana Jones. Always knew someday you'd come walking back through my door. I never doubted that. Something made it inevitable. So what are you doing here in Nepal? I need one of the pieces your father collected. I learned to hate you in the last ten years. I never meant to hurt you. I was a child. I was in love. It was wrong and you knew it! You knew what you were doing. Now I do. This is my place. Get out! I did what I did. You don't have to be happy about it. But maybe we can help each other now. I need one of the pieces your father collected, a round piece about this size, with a hole in off center with a crystal. You know the one I mean? Yeah. I know it. Where is Abner... Where is Abner? Abner is dead. Marion I'm sorry. What you did to me, to my life! I can only say I'm sorry so many times. Well Say it again anyway! Sorry. Yeah, everybody's sorry. Abner was sorry for dragging me all over this earth looking for his little bits of junk. I'm sorry to still be stuck in this dive. Everybody's sorry for something. It's a worthless bronze medallion, Marion. Are you going to give it to me? Maybe. I don't know where it is. Well maybe, you can find it. Three thousand bucks. Well that would get me back. But not with style. I can get you another two when we get to the states. It's important Marion. Trust me. You know the piece I mean? You know where it is? Come back tomorrow. Why? Because I said so, that's why. Ha! See you tomorrow Indiana Jones! Good evening freulein. The Bar is closed. We... we are not thirsty. What do you want? The same thing your friend doctor Jones wanted. Surely he told you there would be other interested parties? Must have slipped his mind. The man is nefarious. I hope for your sake he has not yet acquired it. Why, are you willing to offer more? Oh, almost certainly. Do you still have it? No. But I know where it is. Hey! How about a drink for you and your men? Your fire is dying here. Why don't you tell me where the piece is right now? Listen, "Herr Mac". I don't know what kind of people you're used to dealing with, but nobody tells me what to do in my place. Freulein Ravenwood. Let me show you what I am used to. Nick! Take your lousy hands off! wait.. I.. can be reasonable. That time is passed. You don't need that...wait.. I'll tell you everything. Yes. I know you will. Let here go! ...Whiskey? Shoot them, Shoot them both. My medallion! Well, Jones, at least you haven't forgotten how to show a lady a good time! Boy, you're something! Yeah? I'll tell you what. Until I get back my five thousand dollars, you're going to get more than you bargained for. I'm your goddamn partner! Cairo, city of the Lilies, a paradise on earth. Silence! Why do you forget yourselves? What is this? Where did this animal come from? Ah, oh no... Cute, Ha! What an adorable creature. Then it shall be welcome in our house. Well no, you don't have to keep it here just because of me! I knew the Germans had hired you Sallah. You're the best digger in Egypt. My services are entirely inconsequential to them. They have hired or shanghaied every digger in Cairo. The excavation is enormous! They hire only strong backs and they pay pennies for them. It is as if the pharaohs had returned. When did they find the map room? Three days ago. They have not one brain among them. Except one.... He's very clever, he's a French archaeologist. What's he's name? They call him "Bellosh". Belloq, Belloq! The Germans have a great advantage over us. They are near to discovering the well of souls. Well, they are not going to find it without this. Who can tell us about these markings? Perhaps a man I know can help us. Indy... There is something that troubles me. What is it? The Ark. If it is there at Tanis... Then it is something men was not meant to disturb. Death has always surrounded it. It is not of this earth. Do we need the monkey? I'm surprised at you Jones, Talking that way about our baby. He's got your looks too. And your brain... I noticed it, she's a smart little thing, smart! Hey! where are you going? She'll be all right, have a date. Come on, come on... Marion! What's this? It's a Date. You eat 'em. Sieg Heil! Ja. Sieg Heil. Ist Nae. Ja, ja. How come you haven't found some nice girl to settle down with, raise eight or nine kids like your friend Sallah? Who says I haven't? Ha, ha! I do. Dad had you figured a long time ago. He said you were a bum. Oh, he's being generous. The most gifted bum he ever trained. You know he loved you like a son. Took a hell of a lot for you to alienate him. Not much, just you. Marion, get out of here! Duck! Doctor Jones. Die herr in the bar Möchten mit ihnen Sprechen. Kommen Sie bitte mit uns. You're looking for me? Ha, ha ,ha.. Belloq. Good afternoon, Dr. Jones. I ought to kill you right now. Not a very private place for a murder. Well, these Arabs don't care if we kill each other, They're not going to interfere in our business. It wasn't I who brought the girl into this business. Please, sit down before you fall down. We can at least behave like civilized people. I see your taste in friends remains consistent. How odd that it should end this way for us, after so many stimulating encounters. I almost regret it. Where shall I find a new adversary so close to my own level? Try the local sewer. You and I are very much alike. Archaeology is our religion. Yet we have both fallen from the pure faith. Our methods have not differed as much as you pretend. I am a shadowy reflection of you. It would take only a nudge to make you like me, to push you out of the light. Now you're getting nasty. You know it's true. How nice. Look at this. It's worthless. Ten dollars from a vendor in the street. But I take it, I burry it in the sand for a thousand years it becomes priceless. Like the Ark. Men will kill for it, men like you and me. What about your boss? Der Führer? I thought he was waiting to take possession. All in good time. When I am finished with it. Jones, do you realize what the Ark is? It's a transmitter. It's a radio for speaking to God. And it's within my reach. You want to talk to God? Let's go see him together. I've got nothing better to do! Doctor Indy! Come back home now! Next time, Indiana Jones, it will take more than children to save you. I thought I would find you there. Better than the United States Marines, eh? Marion is dead. Yes, I know. I am sorry. Life goes on, Indy. There is the proof. I have much to tell you. First we will take them home, and then I will take you to the old man. I can't figure out how Belloq did it. Where did he get a copy of the headpiece? There are no pictures, no duplicates of it anywhere. I tell you only what I saw with my own eyes. A headpiece like that one. Except around the edges which were rougher. In the center the Frenchman had a bit of a crystal... and... and surrounding the crystal, on one side, there were raised markings, just like that one. They've made the calculations in the map room? This morning. Belloq and the boss German, Dietrich. When they came out of the map room, they gave us a new spot in which to dig. Out away from the camp. The well of the souls, uh? Come, come, look! Look here! Sit down, come! Sit down. What is it? This is a warning... not to disturb the Ark of the Covenant. What about the height of the staff? Did Belloq get it off of here? Yes, it is here... This was the old way, this means six kadams high - 'about seventy-two inches' Wait! And take back one kadam... to honor the Hebrew God whose Ark this is. You said their headpiece only had markings on one side. Are you absolutely sure? Belloq's staff is too long. They're digging in the wrong place! Ha, ha, ha! Bad dates. I told you not to be premature in your communiqué to Berlin. archaeology is not an exact science. Does not deal in time schedules. The Führer is not a patient man he demands constant reports. And he expects progress. You led me to believe - Nothing! I made no promises! I only said it looked very favorable. Besides, with the information in our possession, my calculations were correct. Boy they're not kidding are they? What time does the sun hit the map room? About nine in the morning. Not much time then. where are they digging for the Well of the Souls? On that ridge. But the map room is over there. Let's go, come on. [Guards speaking German] Sallah! Sallah! Mehr Wasser! What is the matter? I fetch the water, I shall get it for you. Water? I will give you water, no problem, no problem. I thought you were dead. They must have switched baskets. Are you hurt? No. You have to get me out of here quick! They're going to be back at any minute. Quick! they keep asking about you, what you know. What's wrong? Cut me loose. I know where the Ark is Marion. The Ark is here? Well I'm coming with you Jones! Get me out of here, Cut me loose! You can't leave me here! If I take you out of here now they will start combing the place for us. Jones you got to get me out of here! Are you crazy? You know that I hate to do this. You just Sit still, keep quiet. This whole thing is going to be shut. I'll be back to get you. That's it. Who knows, perhaps the Ark is still waiting in some anti chamber for us to discover. Perhaps it's some vital bit of evidence which eludes us. Perhaps the girl can help us. My feeling exactly. She was in possession of the original piece for years, she may know much if properly motivated. I tell you the girl knows nothing. I'm surprised to find you squeamish that is not your reputation. But it needn't concern you, I have the perfect man for this kind of work. Heil Hitler. Indy! Here! We hit stone! Clear it off. Come on find the edges. Good, good, good. You see Indy? You see? Okay bring the pry bars in. Push! Get them in there! Get them under. Good, good. That's it. Watch your clothes. Carefully, carefully! Weahh! Sorry Indy. Indy, why does the floor move? Give me your torch. Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes? Asps. Very dangerous. You go first. If you're trying to escape on foot, the desert is three weeks in every direction. So please eat something. I must apologize for the treatment of you. Yeah? Who's idea was it? No food, no water. What kind of people are these friends of yours? This particular time and place and for my work they are necessary evils. Not my friends. However, with the right connections, even in this part of the world we are not entirely uncivilized. Beautiful. I would very much like to see you in it. Ha! I bet you would. Alright. What do you got to drink around here? You don't have much time. Soon they will come to harm you. And I will not be able to stop them. Unless you are able to give me something to placate them. Some... piece of information... Which I can use to protect you from them. I already told you everything I know. I have no loyalty to Jones. He's brought me nothing but trouble. Marion, you are beautiful. I don't think we need a chaperon. Steadily, steadily. Down, down, carefully... You're all right Indy? Gently boys, gently, gently! I told you it would be all right! Sallah, get down here! You pour. Oups! What is this stuff René? I grew up with this. It's my family label. Well, I have to be going now René. I like you René. Very much. Perhaps we meet someday under better circumstances. We meet again freulin. You Americans, you're all the same. Always overdressing for the wrong occasions. Now... What shall we talk about? Alright. Take it up. Easy! You're a stubbornness that girl. You like her too much I think. Your methods of archeology are too primitive for me. You would use a bulldozer to find a....china cup... Colonel, wake your men! Indy the torches are burning out. We got to get out of here. Sallah! Hello, hello! Why, Dr. Jones, whatever are you doing in such a nasty place? Why don't you come on down here, I'll show you. Thank you my friend, but I think we are all very comfortable up here. That's right isn't it? Yes we are very comfortable... up here. So once again Jones, what was briefly yours is now mine. What a fitting end to your life's pursuits. You're about to become a permanent addition to this archaeological find. Who knows? In a thousand years, even you may be worth something. Ha, ha, ha, ha... son of a bitch. I'm afraid we must be going now doctor Jones. Our price is awaited in Berlin. But I do not wish to leave you down in that awful place, all alone. Slimy biff, you let me go! Stop it! Aaahh.. Marion! Hang on! Traitor you get your hands off of me! I can't breathe! The girl was mine! She's of no use to us. Only our mission for the Führer matters. I wonder sometimes monsieur, if you have that clearly in mind? It was not to be cherie. You bastard, I'll get you for this! Indiana Jones, adieu! Nooo! Take this. Wave it at anything that slithers. Oh my god this whole place is slithering! Indy! Aow, Jesus! Where did you get this? From him? I was trying to escape. No thanks to you. How hard were you trying? Where the hell were you - Watch it, watch it! What are you doing? Helping the fire! How the hell are we going to get out of here? I'm working on it, I'm working on it! Whatever you're doing, do it faster! Where are you going? Through that wall. Just get ready to run whatever happens to me. What do you mean by that? Indy! His errands were never explained. The dinner table was our battlefield. I do think, Charles, you might talk to me. I've had a very exhausting day. I was looking forward to a little conversation. Of course, father. What shall we talk about? Cheer me up. Take me out of myself. Tell me about the new plays. But I haven't been to any. You should, you know, you really should. It isn't natural in a young man to spend all his evenings at home. Well, father, as I told you, I haven't much money to spare for theatregoing. My dear boy, you must not allow money to become your master in this way. Why, at your age, your cousin Melchior was part-owner of a musical piece. It was one of his few successful ventures. You should go to the play as part of your education. I received one letter from Sebastian. It was written on, and enveloped in heavy Victorian mourning paper, black-coroneted and black bordered. "Dearest Charles. I found a box of this paper... at the back of a bureau so I must write to you as I am mourning... for my lost innocence. It never looked like living. The doctors... despaired of it from the start. Seems I am off to Venice to stay with Papa in his palace of sin. I wish you were coming. I wish you were here. I am never quite alone. Members of my family... keep turning up and collecting luggage and going away again... but the white raspberries are ripe. I have a good mind... not to take Aloysius to Venice. I don't want him to meet a lot of horrid Italian bears and pick up bad habits. Love or what you will. S." Strife was internecine during the next fortnight. But I suffered the more, ...for my father had greater reserves to draw on. One day, by chance, a weapon came to hand. I met an old acquaintance of school days named Jorkins. I never had much liking for Jorkins but I greeted him with enthusiasm and asked him to dinner. My father was quick to retaliate. He made a little fantasy for himself that Jorkins should be an American. So nice of you to come all this way, Mr Jorkins. Oh, it isn't far. Really only a matter of minutes. Ah. Science annihilates distance. You are over here on business? Well, I'm in business if that"s what you mean. I had a cousin who was in business, you wouldn't know him it was before your time. I was telling Charles about him only the other night. He has been much in my mind. He came a cropper. You find his misfortune the subject for mirth? Or perhaps you were unfamiliar with the word I used. You no doubt would say folded up. Well, I don't know that... I mean... I suppose with your standards you find our life here very parochial. My father was master of the situation. Throughout the evening he played... a delicate, one-sided parlour game with him... explaining any peculiarly English terms... in the conversation, translating pounds into dollars... so that my guest was left with the vague sense that... there was a misconception somewhere as to his identity which he never got the chance of explaining. I mean... if... Only once I thought my father had gone too far. Of course, I'm afraid living in London you must sadly miss your national game. My national game? Cricket! Never mind. I've decided to diversify Charles' evenings at home. Tonight I have a surprise. I've asked a few young friends over for a little music-making. Charles, you know the Orme-Herricks? Did you know that Miss Orme-Herrick was a student of the cello? She's going to play for us tonight after dinner! Charles. Charles. I really have to go... Please. I'm afraid Jorkins has to go, father. He has to be up very early in the morning. Oh, what a pity. Goodbye then, Mr Jorkins. I hope that you will pay us another visit next time you cross the herring pond. Goodbye, Mr Ryder, and thank you. I'm so sorry I have to leave. - I'll just see him out, father. - Such a versatile young man. You must ask him again, soon. Goodnight, Jorkins. What very dull friends I have! You know, without the spur of your presence I would never have roused myself to invite them. I have been very neglectful about entertaining lately. Now you are paying me a long visit I will have many such evenings. You liked Miss Orme-Herrick? No. No? Was it her little moustache you objected to or her very large feet? Do you think she enjoyed herself? No. That was my impression also. I doubt if any of our guests will count this among their happiest evenings. That young foreigner behaved atrociously I thought. Where can I have met him? And Miss Constantia Smethwick, where can I have met her? But the obligations of hospitality must be observed. While you are here, you shall not be dull! Finally, one Sunday afternoon, a telegram arrived from Sebastian which threw me into a state of fevered anxiety. Father... You'll never guess where I've spent the day. I've been to the zoo. It was most agreeable. The animals seem to like the sunshine so much. - Father, I have to leave at once. - Yes? A friend of mine, he's gravely injured. I must go to him. There's a train in about half an hour. "Gravely injured, come at once. Sebastian." Well, I'm sorry you are upset. Reading this message... I do not think that the accident can be quite so serious... as you seem to think, otherwise it would hardly be signed by the victim himself. Still, of course, he may well be fully conscious but blind or paralysed with a broken back. Why exactly is your presence so necessary? You have no medical knowledge. You are not in holy orders. Do you hope for a legacy? I told you, he is a great friend. Well, Orme-Herrick is a very great friend of mine, but I should not go tearing off to his death bed on a warm Sunday afternoon. I rather doubt whether Lady Orme-Herrick would welcome me. However, I see you have no such doubts. I shall miss you, my dear boy. But do not hurry back on my account. Fear worked like yeast in my thoughts. And the fermentation brought to the surface in great gobs of scum, the images of disaster. A loaded gun, held carelessly at a stile... a horse rearing and rolling over... a shaded pool with a submerged stake a car at a blind corner. All the catalogue of threats to civilised life rose and haunted me. I even pictured a homicidal maniac mouthing in the shadows swinging a length of lead pipe. Tickets, please, sir. - Brideshead, sir? - Yes. Lady Julia's waiting in the yard. Thank you. - You're Mr Ryder? - Yes. Jump in. - How is he? - Oh, he's fine. - Have you had dinner? - Yes, on the train. Well, I expect it was beastly. There's some more at home. Sebastian and I are alone so we thought we'd wait for you. - But what happened to him? - Didn't he say? I expect he thought you wouldn't come if you knew. He cracked a bone in his foot so tiny that it hasn't a name. But they X-rayed it yesterday and told him to keep it up for a month. It's a great bore to him, putting out all his plans. He's been making the most enormous fuss. Everybody else has gone. At first he tried to make me... stay back with him. Well, I expect you know how maddeningly pathetic he can be. I almost gave in and then I said, surely there must be someone... you can get hold of? And he said everybody was away or busy and anyway, no one else would do. But at last he agreed to try you... and I promised I'd stay if you failed him, so you can imagine how popular you are with me. I must say I think it's noble of you to come all this way at a moment's notice. How did he do it? Believe it or not, playing croquet. He lost his temper and tripped over a hoop. Not a very honourable scar. She so much resembled Sebastian, that sitting beside her... in the gathering dusk, I was confused by the double illusion of familiarity and strangeness. I hate driving at this time of the day. There doesn't seem anyone left at home who can drive a car. Sebastian and I are practically camping out. - Cigarette? - No, thanks. Light one for me, will you? It was the first time in my life that anyone had asked this of me and... as I took the cigarette from my lips and put it in hers... I caught a thin bat's squeak of sexuality inaudible to any but me. Thanks. You've been here before. Nanny reported it. We both thought it very odd of you not to stay to tea with me. That was Sebastian. You seem to let him boss you around a good deal. You shouldn't. It's very bad for him. Here we are. I wouldn't have put it past Sebastian to have started dinner. Thank you. Hello, darling. Thank you, Wilcox. Well darling, I've collected your chum. I thought you were dying. I thought so too. The pain was excruciating. Julia, do you think if you asked him, Wilcox would give us champagne tonight? I hate champagne and Mr Ryder has already had dinner. Mister Ryder? Mister Ryder? Charles drinks champagne at all hours. Do you know, looking at this great swaddled foot of mine, I can't get it out of my head that I've got gout, and that gives me a craving for champagne. - Which way? - This way. Dinner was served in the Red Dining Room. While they dined, I ate a peach and told them of the war with my father. And he said to him "Living in London, you must miss... your national game." And Colin said What national game?"... and my father said "Cricket, of course." I really think he's sometimes quite mad. He sounds a perfect poppet to me. And now I'm going to leave you boys. - Where are you off to? - The nursery. I promised Nanny a last game of halma. Dear Nanny Hawkins. She lives entirely for pleasure. Goodnight, Mr Ryder and goodbye. I'm leaving early. I can't tell you how grateful I am to you for relieving me at the sick bed. My sister's very pompous tonight. I don't think she cares for me. I don't think she cares for anyone very much. - I love her. She's so like me. - Do you? Is she? In looks I mean, and the way she talks. I wouldn't love anyone with a character like mine. Charles, we're going to have a heavenly time alone. When, next morning, I saw Julia drive from the forecourt and disappear... I felt a sense of liberation and peace such as I was to know... years later, when after a night of unrest the sirens sounded the "All Clear'". I believed myself very close to heaven during those languid days at Brideshead. It is thus I like to remember Sebastian... as he was that summer when we wandered alone through that enchanted palace. Welcome! Come inside please! Come in and have a drink. This way please. Something's wrong. They're too busy! There's too many waiters! White Tiger! Give yourself up! We'll get you! There's no escape! Bounty hunters from six provinces! Seems like the end of the line for us. Be careful! Get us? Never! White Tiger! White Tiger! Split! Mr. Huang... What is it? I'm there for the money. Come in and get it. I just scared him off. He really is a coward. Fortunately I can run very fast. Biggie! Biggie! Mr. Chiu, what's the matter? Ask her to help me get dressed. Biggie! You only read the script in this moment. Why are you still hesitating? Hurry... You see me as nothing, hurry... How dare you. Collect the laundry fee again? Came back here. I'm not pushing you, you can paid me few days later. Clean my wife's underwear too. Well... You clean it or not? Yes, but my sister will scold me. I will bit you. Huang, you'll meet your match! Master Tam, you've got a visitor. A visitor? Our school's famous in Canton. You're a wanted man. True, we're partners in the past. But I don't want to be investigated now. I think you better lay low. I still treasure our friendship. I've got friends in the opera troupe. Why don't you join them? And we'll find a way for you. I'm telling you! No one owes me money! I'll break your neck! What are you staring at? You don't know me? You look rough! But you're a coward! Just wait till you meet my sister! Mousy! What are you doing? I'm scolding him! Who is he? Me. You're useless. Have you collected the money? I've collected... Some more clothes. More clothes? Take off your clothes. I'll wash them too. It doesn't matter. Take them off! Money? Where's the money? I was chased by dogs, and Biggie threatened to kill me... We'll never survive like this! - But Biggie was tough! - Why not say that you're scared. You're a coward! Admit it! Wake up! You fool! Biggie was as rough as you're now! I'll kill you! I'll kill you! Don't come back without the money! "Pochilam" Which one is Huang Fei-hung? - Excuse me... - I'm the king fu instructor for the navy! What do you want? Are you blind? Just wait a second please. No! Please. Sit here. Let me examine you. Don't hurt me, or I'll beat you up! You want a fight? That's fine with me. Stop! That's no way to treat a patient! I as just arranging your seat, Master. What's wrong with you? I feel uncomfortable from head to toe! I'm Huang Fei-hung. I'll examine you. Let me warn you first. I've crippled several of my doctors! Your pulse is weak! Can you do something about it? Of course! No problem! Back to normal now! Excellent! What's wrong now? You've suffered internal injuries! You're joking! Touch your rib cage. Does it hurt? No. No? What about this spot? Yes, it hurts a bit. You've breathing problems, too. Yes, how do you know? I think you trained much too hard. I must try to relieve your tension. You'll be okay when that's done. Does it hurt? No! It doesn't! What's wrong? It doesn't hurt, does it? What are you doing? Trying to kill me? It's burning... Stop it! It won't hurt. Have you finished? Feeling better? You're great! Of course. You dare to hit me? How many hands you want to use? You're magnificent! Thank you! I don't like this. You can have it. Hey! Come back! Stop screaming. He didn't pay! Forget it! Prepare for the lion dance contest! Yes, Master. "Henan Club" Fire! Ladies and gentlemen. To celebrate the opening of the club, we've invited Huang Fei-hung to perform a lion dance with his students. Great! Master, is this an easy one? No! You'll hurt yourself if not careful. What does it call? The Gold and Silver Rosette! You'll have to cross the bridge first. - Let's go, Ah Foon! - Yes! Roll the drum! Go! Hurry! Come on! Hold on! Jump! What's wrong with you? Shut up! The Bridge! I can't hold on any longer. The waist band! Master, we've failed. Shut up! Use the pole! Hurry! It's alright! We've got it! Master. Look! The Northern Lion! The Seven Stars! - An Foon! Support me! - Yes. Watch it! Here comes Huang Fei-hung! The Seven Stars! Ah Foon, be careful! - Get on my shoulders! - Fine! Master, are you alright? Huang, you wait and see! "Everything turn out as you wish." Thanks... Master Huang's magnificent! Mousy. Why look so depressed? You've failed to collect the money? All men bully you just because you aren't brave enough! I'll go collect the money for you. But give me a smile first! Let's have our picture taken with Mr. Chiu. Fine. Mr. Chiu! Mr. Chiu! Sister! You worked too hard. Did I perform well? - It was superb! - Really? Let's have our picture taken. Fine. Can you take a picture of us? Move closer. Look at here! Say cheese! Ready...! Go to hell! Damn it! You dare to offend Mr. Chiu? You'd be dead if not for Master Tam. Scream! Tiger... I'll buy you a meal tonight. Empty promises! I don't believe you. Bi...gg...ie, Biggie. What do these words say? "Bastard" Compliment? Sure! It reads : "Biggie is Bastard"! Damn you! I'll get you for this! Help! Ah Foon, that's the man. Mousy! Show us some tricks! I can't. I'm scared of him. If I'm half as good as him... It hurts? I want a smile from you. Smile again? It hurts like hell! Give me a sweet smile! Mousy! I want you to smile at Mousy in future. Mousy! Have you forgotten something? - Let's go! - Yes. Ah Foon, you're great! You've got to act tough. I can never be tough. I really envy you. Will Master Huang accept me as a student? I'll ask him. I better be going now. What are you doing? Excuse me, my friend. Stop it! Go away! Excuse me... Excuse me... Help! Help! Someone wants to kill me! Help! You hear me? Someone tries to kill me! Damn it! You're deaf and mute! Where do you live? You know the deceased? - I know the deceased. - Which people he's been going out with? I don't really know. Did he drink? He didn't drink at all. The Marshal has arrived! Attention! Salute! Good day, sir! Marshal, this way please! Who asked you to come in? Lock him up! You agree with me, Marshal? Marshal... What? You're the Marshal? It looks like a love triangle... He was murdered by his enemy! Brilliant! Could it be the White Tiger? After my careful observation... No? Possible. After my careful analysis... Possible? No way. Excellent judgement, Marshal. I traveled far for White Tiger. So I leave this insignificant case to you. I'll hold you responsible for your fail this. Responsible? Me? Marshal! You've come such a long way. How about having dinner with me tomorrow. Please... We weren't invited to the restaurant's opening. Why? They've invited Huang Fei-hung. Huang? It's his birthday a couple days later. Send him a birthday suit. He'll like my suit for sure. Is everything ready for my birthday? Everything is ready, Master. Master... A tailor's here to make a suit for you. What? Your birthday suit. Show him in. How come it's different tailor? Ah To's away. Let me take your measurement. Fine. You'll live longer wearing my suit. Make one for yourself. 24 inches! Must be a good fighter. Thank you. Three foot! What kind of cuff you like? Wen's style. 6-inch cuffs. 2-foot splits and 5-foot-long suit. 1.8 foot for shoulders. 30 inches waist. What are the needles for? The secure your button. - Thank you. - Don't mention it. Let me measure your neck. Have you finished? I would have if you had cooperated. What else you want to do? Choose the material. I'll take the piece on your hand. Cut it. I know you're the Demon Tailor! Why do you want to kill me? My Big Brother Tam King is angry with you. Can you tell Mr. Tam? I want to be his friend, Liang Foon! Master! - Give him his scissors! - Yes, Master! It's difficult to clean. Rub... It snapped. Help! What's wrong with you? I thought you're the masked killer. You're the biggest coward I've ever seen. Dry the clothes! Use both fingers. Why? It's a waste of effort. This is our family secret. Do it! It's not practical. Get it. Who dropped these money? Money? It's mine! I dropped it! You dirtied my clothes! I'll kill you. You've got the wrong person! - I'll get you. - I'm innocent! Where do you think you're going? - Ah Foon. - What? Look, we're friends. I'm going to make you brave tonight. How? You mean... It's not as bad as that. Really? Let's go. Marshal, please. What kind of place is this? This is a high class brothel. A brothel? What do you take me for? The moral standard is down the drain... What a lovely bottom! What a surprise! Take good care of him. Marshal... Let's go somewhere else. Let's stay and check the place out. There may be underage girls here. Yes. Let's have a toss. Drink up. Don't be shy. What's wrong? You're flushed. What? I just had a little drink. But you just drank the soy sauce. I want to investigate this girl. Wait. What's the matter? Can I investigate your wife? Do you know who I am? - And do you know who I am? - Who are you? - Liang Foon of the Pochilam School. - I've never heard your name. - Have you heard of Huang Fei-hung? - Yes, I have. That's him over there. - Huang Fei-hung? - I'm not a afraid of you. You just wait and see. Marshal... Be courageous. Follow me. - Arrest them. - Yes. Who shall we arrest? The one behind. Yes, Marshal. It's none of your business. Go. Resisting arrest? Don't worry. Get them. I'm sorry. Forgive me. I'm sorry. Marshal... - Are you alright? - Shut up! Excellent footwork! You dare to kick me with your invisible Kick? Coming! Hand off! Get away your foot! You made me do it. This punch bag is great. Come on, don't be afraid. Hit it. Harder. Huang Fei-hung, you dare to hit me? You want to use weapon? Marshal? What to do? Have a rest. I'll get someone for you. "Fu Xing Lou" Master, this is Mousy I told you about. Where's he? Come out! Speak to Master! Say it. I want you to be my student. No... I want to be your master. He said he wanted to be your student. He wants you to be his master. I'm your admirer! No! This is hopeless! What are you trying to do? Kill my son? Ignore him! Let's go! Well... Mousy! Come over here! Master Huang, I'm innocent! Have you learnt kung fu before? No! Yes! You've got it! Got what? Kneel down, you fool! What's going on? You freed my bird. You'll take its place. Give him his bird. Yes! Here's your chance. Go to him! Be courageous! - Take her back! - Yes. Here's your bird! Hands off the girl! How dare you? Huang Fei-hung? What are you waiting for? I'm sorry! Let's go! It's Huang Fei-hung! Run! Are you okay? I'm fine, thank you! Master Huang? Here's your chance. The girl dropped her wallet. Send it back to her. Go! Miss! Master Huang! Where? Where is he? She was just calling you. Yes, I'm here! That's my wallet! Here! Thanks. Don't mention it. Can you go out with Master Huang? Sure, but don't too night. I'll make you look like Master. Liang Foon! Master! It's hot in this. You've got to look smart for your date. What if we fail? Don't worry! Keep your cool! I'll give you a chance to save her. How? The masked killer that you most scared at will appear to-night. Huang...you want to hit me? No. I was trying to get this mosquito. Don't be afraid... Let me teach him a lesson. Ward me off! Kick me! How? A kick below the belt! You've kicked at the wrong place. Harder! You're too hard! Get out! Good boy! This is the proudest moment in my life. Master Huang. I feel safe with you. Really? Get up! The masked killer is back! Get rid of him! You're a great help to me today. You want to give me another chance? Thank you. Are you alright? Just a lapse of concentration. The masked killer? You're not Ah Foon? Run! Help... Run... Rum? Run... Master Huang! What about me? I... What's the matter with you? You crazy? I'm haunted! Haunted? I'll get the ghost for you. Where's the ghost? It's behind you. Oh my God! I invoke the spirit! Master, have some tea. Huang Fei-hung! Come out! Oh dear! It's no use hiding! May I have your name, please? He's our leader! He's the Marshal! He's Marshal Pao! Nice to meet you. I'm here for Huang Fei-hung. Not you! Have you met Huang before? Yes! And I've fought him, too. You fought him? Do I look like Huang Fei-hung? No! Huang's much younger. Then Huang ought to buy you a drink. Why do you call Huang a bastard? I... Who are you? Why the questions? Marshal, I'm Huang Fei-hung. You must be his father. Huang Fei-hung! Don't run! He... Arrest him! Ah Foon! Ah Foon! So he's Huang Fei-hung! That's right. He's in it, too. Eagle's Claw? Stop! Kneel down! - Master! - Master Huang! What's the matter with you? You crazy? How dare you? Are you really Huang Fei-hung? Yes. Show some mercy, Marshal. I'll punish them myself. Alright. I'll let them off this time. Thanks. I'll buy you dinner tonight. You better. Ah Foon! Come with me! Master Huang! You've learnt the Eagle's Claw. You don't need me as your master. Eagle's Claw? Excuse me... Master Huang, let's have a toss. Thanks for coming! Master Huang, here's to you. Thanks. Help yourself! I can help myself! Make yourself at home! I'll never be Master Huang's student. Forget it! We're still friends. I'll help you. I've got it. What? You... You saved a girl last time, right? This time you'll get yourself beaten up. I don't want to do it! You must win my master's sympathy. I see! Let's do it. Master... What's wrong? Someone just raided the bank. Mousy went and fought them. He was outnumbered. What's happened? He was badly beaten up. Where were the police? They've all disappeared. Mousy is righteous. Take him as your student, please. Mousy! He can't even stand straight. I'll treat you in a special way. What special way? You've got your heart in the wrong place. I must open your chest and put it right. Then I'll sew up your chest. Then you'll be okay. He can stand it. Master Huang, this knife alright? Just about. Ah Foon! Hold him down! I'm fine! I'm okay. Mousy... Ah Foon! Drink to the Marshal! I'm generous. I don't bear grudges. I thought you're really clever. Master Huang. Stop drinking. You're on duty now! Master Huang, see you later. Goodbye! Goodbye! So long... White Tiger! Give yourself up! We'll get you! There's no escape! Be careful! You just scared me dead! I wouldn't mind going to the toilet myself. Yes, me, too. - Let's go over that side. - Good. Let's do it here. Having a pee? Nonsense! I feel very sorry to the two of you. When you see Master Huang, ask him not to be angry with me, please. - Certainly... - Not! "Having a pee is not allowed." I can piss anywhere cause I'm a cop. Don't watch me piss! Stop it! Mousy! The two bounty hunters are dead. - Are you sure? - Of course. - Where are they? - Over there! Must be masked killer! The masked killer? He must be connected with the opera troupe. You don't have to tell me. Just let me know if I can be of service. No thanks. You're not the Marshal. I can easily handle this. I've got all the masked opera singers here! But who is the murderer? Shut up! Speak up! Who's the murderer? Speak. You've got the wrong person! I've got to go! Cross-eye! Yes, Marshal! Have you got all the masked opera singers? Every single one of them. What about him? We missed him. - You fool! - Yes, Marshal! Wait here! Wait here! What are you doing? Shut up or be arrested! I can lock you all up! Is this an uprising or what? - What's going on? - Yes, Marshal! Stupid. What about my loss? If you find any one suspicious. Let me know. You'll get paid for it. They're all crooks! The murderer is connected with the opera troupe. Keep your eyes open for me. Yes? There's a newcomer who acts strangely... Mr. Chiu, it's your turn. I'm coming! See me after the show. I'll tell you more. I hate Huang, and Huang's suspicious of you. Let's cooperate. I'll send you out of the country afterward. They'll never get you. But you may not be able to take Huang single-handed. - Mayor! - Congratulations! Thanks for coming. Have a seat please! Have a few more drinks, Marshal. I'll get myself drunk alright. I've got to see Chiu at the theatre. - I'll come along. - Stay here! Ah Foon, but... But what? You think I'll die? What are we? - Friends. - Right. Take revenge if I die. What are you doing? This is my family charm. Take it. Superstitious! Wait for me! Go to hell! Mr. Chiu! Substitution! Help yourself! - Buttoms up! - Master Huang! Huang Fe-hung will be the next! Help yourself! Ah Foon! Ah Foon! I didn't tell you really to go to hell! Ah Foon...! Where did Ah Foon go? The Theatre. Theatre? Avenge my death if I die! The masked killer! The masked killer! The masked killer! "Kill him." The masked killer! Pao? What are you doing here, kid? You'll never know why you die. You want me, not my students. White Tiger killed him! You harbored a wanted man? Yeah, so what? I want you out of my way! My school will be famous. You'll never get away with it. I'll get you first. Master Huang. Master Huang, I was wrong. let me go! Give me one more chance! Let me go, please. I'm sorry, Master Huang. Mousy, run! I can't leave you now. The Flying Cuff! Charge! Get him! I'll kill you! Die! You fool! I'll kill you! Stop it. He's dead. I've killed the masked killer...! I've killed the masked killer...! SCRIPT BY PEACE GROUP STORY BY WONG JING ASSISTANT DIRECTORS FONG LEE-KWAN, HOH LIN CHOW, LEE CHA COSTUMES BY LIU CHl-YU PROPS BY LEONG WING LIGHTING BY TENG MENG EFFECTS BY NG KWOK WAH DIALOGUE BY KONG PING, DING YU SOUND RECORDIST: CHOU SHAU-LONG MUSIC BY FRANKIE CHAN EDITOR: PETER CHEUNG Table for two? Please come in. This way, please. We've got customers. Make yourselves comfortable. Husband, something's wrong. There are no other customers. Why do they keep adding up bills and cooking noodles? Why would a small shop like this hire so many workers? White Tiger, there are 17 criminal cases against you. Even if you're in GuangZhou, we still have to arrest you. Bounty hunters from both sides of the rivers, ZheJiang, SanXi, GanSu and Hubei, all join forces to capture us. You want us to turn ourselves in without a fight? Come and get me. Watch out! Think you can get us? Fat chance! Husband! Husband... run. Boss Wong! Boss Wong! - What? - I'm here to collect the laundry money. Come and get it. I just sent him away. He's such a coward. Lucky I've not been bitten by that dog with rabies! Big Mouth. - Big Mouth. - Yes, Boss? What can I do for you? Get Ah Seng to dress me. Big Mouth. Still memorizing your script? Where were you last night? What's with the make-up? Hurry up! Don't take advantage of my good nature! Get on the stage now! Big Mouth... No, no! Here to collect the laundry money again? - Stop! - Forget about the money! Forget it! Wash my wife's underwear as well! In that case... Are you going to do it? ! Yes. But my big sister will not be happy. I'll throw you out! No! Help me! Help me, please! Wong Fei-hung, that's the end of your lion. Sifu Tam! Sifu Tam, you have a visitor from the North. A Northerner? LION'S ROAR HALL We've got a good reputation in GuangZhou. Now you're a fugitive. We've been partners before, but now I want to stay on the right side of the law. White Tiger, you shouldn't cause any more trouble. We were once like brothers. Have this to tide you over. Look, I've got a few students working in the opera troupe. Go and hide there until this case blows over. Then we'll talk again. You can owe anyone money, but not me, or I'll destroy you! Don't you believe me? You want me to show you? What are you looking at? Don't you know me? I'm Mousy! I'm a fighter! You're filthy! And you have a bad attitude! You see good people, and you bully them! You see bad people, and you fear them! My big sister's no coward! If we don't get the money, we'll come after you! Mousy, who are you shouting at? - Him. - Who's he? He's me and I'm him. Useless bum! Where's the money you collected today? I collected more laundry. - Here. - More business as well. Your shirt looks dirty. Take it off for a wash. It's OK to be dirty. - Take it off! - No need! Where's the money? Where's the money you collected today? Ah Fook's house has a fierce dog. Ah Sao says he's got no money. Big Mouth shouted at me. I didn't collect any money. The way you collect money will bankrupt us! - Sister, that Big Mouth... - You're a coward! You're useless! How can we go on like this? Sister, don't do it! Don't! Big Mouth is just as fierce as you! Don't! Don't run! If you can't get Big Mouth's money today, don't come home for dinner! BO CHI LAM Who's Wong Fei-hung? - You're... - I'm the head of Water-Lion, Iron-Swallow. - What do you want? - Are you blind? Wait here. No way. This way. Sit down. I'll heal you. I can't take pain! I go mad when I feel pain! Then I'm violent! What, violence? I'm a specialist. We don't need Sifu. Stop it! - Sifu. - Is that how you treat a patient? No, I was cleaning your chair! Sifu, please be seated. - Show me. Where is the discomfort? - My whole body is uncomfortable. Allow me, Wong Fei-hung, to help you. Wong Fei-hung, I can't take pain! I've already beaten up a few bonesetters! Your blood flow is blocked, and your pulse is weak. Sifu Wong, is there a cure? Sifu Wong has a cure for everything. Everything flows smoothly now. Sifu Wong, you're incredible. Anything wrong? My friend, you've not only dislocated your shoulder, you have internal injuries as well. Are you pulling my leg? Feel your ribcage. Do you feel any pain on the sixth rib? - No. - No? It could be further down. I felt the pain. That's not all. You have problems breathing as well. You're right. You've been training too hard. These injuries are inevitable. Irregularities in breathing can be cured by Yin-Yang flame-cupping. After I unblock the flow of ch'i, you'll feel better. Does it hurt? No, it doesn't. Yin flame. The suction's very strong. It doesn't hurt, does it? - Yang flame. - Yang flame, too? Wong Fei-hung, are you trying to kill me? Put the fire out! Don't kill me! It really works! That's enough! Feeling better? You're good! Good! Bastard! How dare you hit me! How many hands did you fight with? You're incredible! I'm completely won over! See you soon! I hate the cut of this jacket! You can have it. - Hey! Hey, don't go! - Let him go. He didn't make a donation. - Forget it. Get ready for the lion dance. - Yes, Sifu. SOUTHERN RIVER ASSOCIATION Keep this. Firecrackers. Fellow villagers, welcome to the opening of the Southern River Association. We're honored to have the lion-dance master from Po Chi Lam, Sifu Wong Fei-hung, and his disciple Leung Foon. They'll be performing a lion dance to celebrate this occasion. Thank you. Sifu, I haven't seen this type of green before. Is it easier for us to pick it? Easier? Lose focus for one second, and you'll fall to your death! What type of green is this, then? The gold-and-silver green. First you've got to cross this gold-and-silver bridge. Then you can reach the auspicious green. - Foon, get ready! - Yes, sir. Drumroll! - Ah Tsat, go! - OK. - Hey, are you testing me? Come on! - Bear with me! SOUTHERN RIVER ASSOCIATION OPENING CEREMONY Up now! Jump! - Why are you so clumsy? - Stop talking! Build the bridge! I can't do it. Ah Tsat, use your sash! Marvellous! Amazing! Sifu, they can't reach it! Keep quiet. Use a pole! Sifu, it's Lion's Roar Hall! The Seven Stars Rings! Foon, with me! Careful, Wong Fei-hung has come in! The Seven Stars Rings! Foon, steady! Get on his shoulders! Sifu! Sifu! Wong Fei-hung, you watch out! WISHING YOU LUCK AND PROSPERITY Thank you. Thank you. Excuse me. Mousy. You look moody. What's happened? Couldn't collect the laundry fee again? You're so timid, anyone can bully you. Since you're like a brother to me, I'll collect the money for you. But you have to give me a smile. Let's have a picture taken with the leading man. Brother Koon, have some tea. Gorgeous Koon! Hey, godsister. - Koon! - How was I? - You were amazing. - Really? - Can we take a picture? - OK, Fook, take a picture of us. OK, my pleasure. I want a good photo... He's a good photographer. Come on, hurry up! Stand closer. Look at me, and don't move. Give me a smile. Almost done. Almost there. Ready. Bastard! Do you want to die? How dare you bother Brother Koon! Lucky you're with Sifu Tam, or I'd have broken your hands! Get lost, now! Go! Auntie, get me a cup of tea. Husband... run! Sister Ping, are you free later? - Let's go for supper. - Really? - Of course. - You're lying. - Big Mouth! - You always lie to me. No, read this. Big Mouth is... is... Sister Ping, what are the two characters under "Big Mouth"? - Something nice about me? - Yeah. "Like a tortoise". How dare you make fun of me! - Help! - Stop! Stop! Brother Foon, he's the one! - Mousy, you have a go! - I can't do it! My legs go weak when I see him. Brother Foon is a really good fighter. I'd be happy if I was half as good as him. Does it hurt? I forbid you to scream! You've got to smile, too! Smile like you mean it! Mousy. Next time you see Mousy, I want you to smile like you mean it. - Brother Mousy... - Don't you know what to do? Scram! Brother Foon, you're brilliant. When you meet people like that, you've got to behave like a bully. I can't act fierce. Brother Foon, you're my idol. Everything will be OK if Sifu Wong agrees to take me on. OK, I'll put in a good word for you. We're done for the day. I've got to dash. What are you doing? Excuse me, please. Stop clowning around! Let me pass! Help! Help! This actor is trying to kill me! Make way! Make way, please! Don't blame me if there's an accident! Make way! Make way! Thank you! Brother, help me! Someone is trying to kill me! Brother, someone is trying to kill me! Can you hear me? Damn it! He's deaf. You've got to answer my questions honestly. - Do you know the deceased? - Yes. - I don't know him. - What does he do here? - He helps the actors dress. - I don't know. Sir, the Marshal has arrived. Fall in! Attention! Marshal, at your service! Marshal, this way, please! I said inside. How dare you go in without an invitation! Teach him a lesson! Marshal... Loser. Yes, Marshal. What? You're the Marshal! Reporting for duty, sir! Full-gun salute. He died of love. I mean, he must have been killed by a jealous lover. Makes sense. This was brutal. Marshal, could it be White Tiger? - According to my calculations... - Not him, right? - Could be. - Yes, yes. - After serious consideration... - It's him. Not him. The Marshal is right. I came from the North to GuangZhou just to catch White Tiger. Minor cases like this should be settled at your level. If you don't solve this, you'll come to regret it. I'll regret it! Marshal, Marshal! Marshal, you're here all the way from the North. Come for dinner tomorrow. - OK. - Please, please, please... Sifu Tam, we haven't been asked to perform our lion dance at the start. Why not? They asked Wong Fei-hung. Wong Fei-hung again? His birthday's in a few days. Junior, deliver a birthday robe to him. He'll like the robe I make him. Foon, it's my birthday in a few days. Are we ready? - Yes, Sifu. - Good. Sifu, there's a tailor outside... to make your birthday robe. - What? He said he wanted to make a new robe for you. Ask him in. BIRTHDAY ROBE TAILOR I thought you were the tailor Thao. Thao has gone back to his village. Sifu Wong, can I take your measurements? OK. If you wear what I make for you, you'll look good. Why don't you make one for yourself, too? - Front chest, 24 inches. Strong torso. - Thank you. Arm, three feet. What sleeve do you want? Literati style. Sleeve width, six inches. Two feet split. Height, five feet. 1.8 for the shoulder. Waist, 30. Do you need a nail to take measurements? A button was loose. I was trying to fix it. Oh, thank you. Any time. Let me measure your neck. Collar height, two inches. - Are you done? - If you'd stayed still, I'd have finished. Finished measuring? Anything else? Choose the material. I'll take the one in your hand. Cloth-cutting. Murderous tailor, I've guessed your real game. I've done nothing to offend you. Why do you want me dead? Sifu Tam is angry with you. Taking revenge is a poor way to solve the problem. Please pass on this message to Sifu Tam. I want to be friends with him. - Foon. - Yes, Sifu? - Get him a new pair of scissors. - Yes. Still dirty. Scrub, scrub, scrub! More money, more money... Ruined another one. Help! Get a grip, you coward! Sister, it's you! I thought it was that painted face! Nothing to worry about. You were born without courage. Why are you afraid of a painted face? - I nearly died from the shock. - Go and dry the clothes! Give me a minute to recover. I told you before, you only use two fingers to squeeze. Why do I have to squeeze with two fingers? It tires me out. That's the Kung Fu Grandpa passed on to us. Use your fingers. I can't use it to fight. Who lost a coin? Me, I lost a coin. I lost a coin. Who did that? Bastard! You soiled my laundry! I'll get you! It's not me! Nothing to do with me! - Not me, not me! - Don't deny it! I'll teach you a lesson! Stop! Brother Foon. We're mates. Let me show you around, build up your confidence. How do I get confident? You mean... Don't make it sound so bad. You're learning the Tao of life. - Tao of life? - Yes, let's go. JADE PAVILION Marshal, please come in. What kind of place is this? This is the most upmarket brothel in GuangZhou. - Brothel? - Yes. What kind of person do you think I am, to bring me here? It's immoral, unethical and a bad example to the common people. What a lovely bottom! Brother Foon, what's brought you here? I've missed you. - Really? - Marshal? Marshal? Shall we go? Since we're here, I want to find out if they employ any underage girls. - Come on, drink up. - OK, I'll drink up. - Drink. - OK. Mousy, relax. You've gone red. It's because I drank too much wine. You've been drinking soya sauce! - Open your mouth! - Have another cup! I want to talk to this girl. - What are you doing? - Stop there! - What do you want? - I want to speak to your wife. - Do you know who I am? - Do you know who I am? - Who are you? - Leung Foon of Bo Chi Lam. - Never heard of you. - What about Wong Fei-hung? Yes. That's him. Wong Fei-hung, I'm not afraid of you! You're not? How about this? It's time to build up your confidence! Relax, follow me. - Lock him up! - Yes! Marshal, which one? - Numbskull, the one behind you! - Yes, Marshal! Nothing to do with you. Excuse me! You dare to retaliate? ! Don't be afraid. Fight! - You bast... - Sorry, sorry, sorry! Marshal, are you OK? Nifty footwork. You ambushed me with your No Shadow Kick! Give me my weapon! Let me go! Lift your leg. You told me to lift my leg. Here's a punch-bag. You want to practise? - No, not really. - Come here. Go on. Harder. - Wong Fei-hung, you dare to hit me? ! - Yeah. So what? Another hidden weapon. MARSHAL OF SEVEN PROVINCES - Police. - What shall we do? Rest a while. I'll get help. Let's go. FOOK HING HOUSE - Catch me! - I'll get you! Catch me if you can! Sifu. I brought that Mousy I was telling you about. Where is he? Tell Sifu yourself. Go on! - Sifu, I... - Spit it out! I want you to be my student. - I want to be your Sifu... - You're useless. Sifu, he wants to be your student. He wants you to be his Sifu. I idolize you. No chance. Round and round! - I'll catch you! - Come and get me! ♪ Rockabye baby, on the treetop... It's burning hot. Bastard! Are you trying to scald my child? Let's go, dear! - Madam! - Mousy, come here. Sifu Wong, I'm innocent! I was... - Have you studied Kung Fu before? - No. - Good news. - What's good? It means "OK". Kneel down, quick. This is my best singing bird. Here. You two... Watch where you go, girl! Lady, you made me lose my lovebird. I want you to be my kept bird now. Return the bird to him. Lady, come home with me now. I'll treat you well. Now's your chance to impress Sifu. Go and settle this. Be brave. Go. Come on, let's go. Take her home. Hey, don't be a bully! Your bird is here! I'm not going with you! Wong Fei-hung. Scram! Sifu Wong! I'm sorry! Let's get out of here! It's Wong Fei-hung! Let's go! - Are you OK? - I'm all right. - Thank you, Sifu Wong. - Sifu Wong? Strike while the iron's hot. Sifu, the lady dropped her purse. We'll go and give it back. Let's go! Go on. Lady... - Sifu Wong? - Where is he? She means you. I'm here. That's my purse. - You dropped this. - Thank you. My pleasure. Would you go out with Sifu Wong tonight? Yes, but I can't stay out late. I got Sifu's clothes for you. They'll fit you from head to toe. - Foon! - Sifu? It's too hot in this gown. We always feel the heat when we're going on a date. What if we got found out? I'm scared. Don't be scared. I'm here for you. When it comes to girls, you've got to be brave. If you have little courage, you must have a thick skin. - I've got an idea to show off your heroism. - How? The painted face you're afraid of will come for you tonight. - You slapped me! - No, I was swatting mosquitoes. Don't be scared, don't be scared. Watch me teach him a lesson! Block. - Kick me now. - How? - From the bottom. - OK. You got the wrong place. - Not like that. Harder. - Harder? That's too hard! Get lost! This young man has great potential. This is the proudest moment of my life. Sifu Wong. I feel safe around you. Really? I'm sorry. Are you hurt? Are you all right? Painted Face is back! I'm scared! - Get rid of him! - OK. Foon, it was a good idea to come back! She's back in my arms again. Old pal, let's impress her one more time. Watch this! - Are you OK? - Yeah, I just tripped. Foon, you're overacting. Painted Face! We're in trouble! This is a different guy! Help! Help! - I'm here! - Let's go! Come on! - Faster! - I'm spilling my wine! - Sifu Wong, are you abandoning me? - Aren't I holding you tight? You've been holding my hand the whole night! Are you crazy? I'm going crazy! I've been possessed by a demon! Exorcism is my forte. Where's the ghost? Where's the ghost? - Behind you! - Run! Powerful. I summon the forces of heaven and earth to defeat the demon before me! - Sifu, have some tea. - Wong Fei-hung! You despicable cad! Come here! Trouble! Come out now! Who's looking for him, please? - He's Master Ding. - Marshal of seven provinces. - The Brave One. - It's nice to meet you. I'm here to arrest Wong Fei-hung. This doesn't concern you. Step aside. Marshal, have you met Wong Fei-hung? Of course! We've even fought! You fought him? Does Wong Fei-hung look like me? No, Wong Fei-hung is a young man. At most, 22 years old. If he were that young, he'd invite you for tea to celebrate. Why did you call him a despicable cad? Are you messing with me? Marshal, I'll be honest with you. I'm Wong Fei-hung. You're Wong Fei-hung's father? Wong Fei-hung, stay there. The tea is for Sifu! Thinking of making a run for it? Grab him! Sifu! - He's Wong Fei-hung? - Yes, it's him! That guy's involved as well! He knows Shirt Pinching Toad Trap? Stop! On your knees! - Sifu... - Sifu... You two have gone too far! Committing crimes in my name! You're the real Wong Fei-hung? I've been too lenient with them. Marshal, please don't take offence. I'll deal with them later! OK, Wong Fei-hung. I won't pursue this, for your sake. Marshal, thanks for your understanding. Tonight, I'll hold a dinner upstairs especially for you. Good on you. Foon, come with me! Sifu Wong? You've already learnt Shirt Pinching Toad Trap. You don't need another Sifu. Get out! Shirt Pinching Toad Trap? Have another drink, have another drink. Thank you for coming. Sifu Wong, I'll drink to your hospitality. - Cheers. - Cheers. Sifu Wong, I propose a toast to your health. - You're too kind. - Thank you. Cheers, everyone. I'll help myself. - It's an honor to know you. - Don't mention it. - Let's eat. - Let's eat. It looks like I blew my chance to be Sifu Wong's student. Let's get out of here. We're like brothers. We'll find a way. I've got it! What? You have to continue with schemes to show your heroism. I promise this scheme will work better. I don't want to be a hero. You've got to appeal to Sifu's compassion. Good, that's the look! Let's go! - Sifu, we're in trouble! - What is it? A band of robbers was raiding the bank and Mousy was brave, he stood up to them without thought for his own life. He beat them. - What happened next? - It's bad. He's severely injured. Were there any police around? They disappeared when the robbers arrived. Sifu, Mousy's a good man. Please let him be your student. Mousy! The injuries weakened his legs. Your injuries are unique. I'll have to give you a unique treatment. How unique? Your heart has been displaced. I'll have to open your chest to heal you. We'll open your ribcage and adjust the position of your heart. We'll then close your ribcage and sew you up. Then you'll be better. He can handle it. Sifu Wong, is this knife suitable? Just about. Hold him down! I'm OK! I'm OK now! Come back. Pay your respects to Marshal. I'm known for being magnanimous. We're like brothers, and none of his ideas worked. Forfeit for you. Sifu Wong, hey... Go and stand guard. - Sifu Wong, we're going. - Glad you came. Take your time. We're on our way. ♪ It's such a joy to be entertained ♪ We'd be invited to more dinners... White Tiger, there are 17 criminal cases against you. Even if you're in GuangZhou, we still have to arrest you. Watch out! ♪ A lady of 28 walking down the street... - Stupid cat! I almost peed my pants. - I need to pee, too. - Me, too. - Let's do it there. Here would do. Peeing? Hey, friends, I was wrong before. I hope you tell Sifu Wong something good about me, so he won't hate me. - OK. - Maybe not. Hey! NO PEEING HERE I'm a law enforcer! I'll pee where I please! Stop looking! It's making me nervous! Stop fooling around! You... you... Help! Help! Help! - Mousy! - Those policemen are dead! - Who did it? - A bad guy. - Where are they? - Just out front. They're here. Foon, that painted face did it. That clown again? The opera troupe might be involved. I thought so! You stay out of this! Marshal, if you need any help, just ask. No need. I'm the Marshal of seven provinces! When I'm on a case, I can withstand anything! Reporting for duty, Marshal! I've arrested all the painted faces. But I don't know who's the murderer. Quiet! Reporting for duty! Who's the murderer? Reporting for duty! Marshal, you've made a mistake! I've got to go on stage any time now! - Snake Tongue! - Here! Are all the painted faces here? Yes. We got everyone. What about him? - He escaped. - Numbskull! - Useless... - Reporting for duty! Stop! Make way! Where do you think you're going? What are you doing? - Throw things at him! - Stop, or I'll arrest you all! You watch it! - What about my theatre? - Reporting for duty! Moron! - What about my theatre? - Moron! Friend, tell me if you see anyone who looks suspicious. There's a monetary reward. Useless bum! Koon, there's a murderer with a painted face. He might be in the troupe. You must watch out. Really? - Where is he? - In this mess, who knows? We just recruited someone. He has a funny walk and... OK, I'm coming. When the show's finished, look for me front of house. I'll tell you. I hate people from Bo Chi Lam. Now you're their prime suspect. We can work together. You help me to... If you're successful, I'll pay for your trip to Nan Yang. You won't have to worry about the police for the rest of your life. But I'm afraid that you're no match for Wong Fei-hung. LONGEVITY Congratulations, congratulations! - Have another drink! - OK. Thank you. Please take a seat. - Welcome. - Congratulations to Sifu Wong. - Come with me. Please, sit here. - The Marshal has arrived! - Marshal. - Congratulations, Sifu Wong. - You must have a few drinks tonight. - Definitely. Have a seat. How are you? Koon wants to meet me at the theatre. - I'll go with you. - No way! You'll make things worse. LONGEVITY Foon, I'm scared. Of what? If I live, I'll protect you. - We're like... - Brothers. Yeah. If I die, you have to avenge me. What now? This necklace is a family heirloom. Wear it for protection. Since when did you get so superstitious? Don't eat without me. Sit where you like. Me, superstitious? Go to hell! It's Koon. Multi-faced technique. Please, tuck in. - Cheers. - Don't be shy, have another drink. Next is Wong Fei-hung. - Drink up. - Drink up. Excuse me, please, make way! Foon! Brother Foon. Brother Foon! I didn't really mean go to hell! Brother Foon! I don't want you to die! Brother Foon. Where did Foon go? The theatre. Theatre? - Brother Foon... - If I die, you have to avenge me. Painted Face! KILL Painted Face! KILL Painted Face! Painted Face! Marshal? Young man, why did you come here? You're going to die for no reason. He's not going to die. You wanted me. - Why did you kill Foon? - White Tiger killed him. You're harboring a fugitive! Yes, so what? While you're still alive, I'll only be second-best. Only Lion's Roar Hall can beat Bo Chi Lam. You've committed a terrible crime! You must pay for it! You're my problem! Sifu Wong... Stop! Sifu Wong, spare me! Please let me go! Let me go! I apologize! I'll turn over a new leaf! Careful! Sifu Wong, I'm sorry! Mousy, go! I won't abandon Sifu in his hour of need! Flying Sleeve! Scrub, scrub, scrub! Scrub, scrub, scrub! Kill him! Kill him! Scrub, scrub, scrub! I'll kill you! I'll kill you! I'll kill you! I'll kill you! Mousy, stop. He's dead. I killed Painted Face! I killed Painted Face! Mousy! I am not in training to enter the Iron Man contest. A guy'd have to be crazy to do that. I have enough cash to pay your salary for one day, so I gotta have results in 24 hours. - Wah! - Come on.! Come on.! - T.M., I gotta get you dry, man. - T.C., you're killing me. Come on, Magnum.! Who's he? Oh, this is a private investigator... - A cop? - I'm making a citizen's arrest. Magnum! Magnum.! Hawaii is like every sensual woman I've ever known. She can have raging, violent bursts of temper, followed by incredible calm and peacefulness. Today was one of those days of true serenity... when even the great tourist wave seems to recede. I mean, I couldn't believe the stillness. Man, business stinks. Hi, guys. Hi. Rick, what's the exact time right now? You know, everybody's on the mainland. Nobody even cares if my chopper's sittin' there gettin' rusty, just eatin' money. Rick, the time! Right now! Geez. It's 11:29 at the tone. Bing! That's 56 minutes. That's my best time yet. And I know I could do better on the road, because this last stretch of beach is all soft sand. What do you think this is, a gymnasium? Hey, man, you stay in pretty good shape, huh? About how many miles do you jog a day? Only eight. Eight. Hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh, you swim a lot too, huh? Now and then. I bet you can ride a bike pretty good. Bicycle? T.C., I am not in training to enter the Iron Man contest. Honest. A guy'd have to be crazy to do that. First you swim five miles, then you marathon 26 miles, then ride a bike a hundred miles all in the same day. Yeah, this is Rick. I bet you could do it. No bet. Okay. Thomas, that was Jimmy at the gate. There's a woman here to see you. This has gotta stop. I mean, as Higgins would say, this is a private club, not an office. Not an office. Magnum, P.I.? I'm Barbara Terranova from Bayonne, New Jersey. Your answering machine said I could find you here, so I came right over. Hi, Barbara Terranova. I'm Rick. I, uh, manage this club. This is T.C. The fella you're looking for is standing right behind you with the baseball hat on. Figures. I've only been here two days, but already I know everything in Hawaii is a little cuckoo. Oh... Maybe you'd like to step out on the beach where we can talk more privately. Magnum, I'm gonna be up front. I have enough cash to pay your salary for one day... exactly one day. So I gotta have results in 24 hours. What do you say? I'm sorry, Miss Terranova, but no respectable private investigator... can guarantee a one-day result. Well, almost none. I know. That's what they all said. All? I phoned every investigator in the phone book. Oh. Well, alphabetically, of course. Thomas, we gotta do something with your listing. We gotta move it up or somethin'. I just figured I could count on you somehow. I mean, your voice on your answering machine was so sympathetic. I quit my job back in Bayonne at the Firmer Body in Ten Days Exercise Salon... and I spent all my savings on new outfits and a plane ticket one way. I just don't know what I'm gonna do. Once I said yes, it was like punching a clock. Barbara barely gave me time to shower and change into some gear I kept at the club. I wanted to grab a cab back to the estate and pick up the Ferrari, but she said that would be a waste of her time and money. So we headed downtown. On a bus. Almost fresh. I got 'em on the plane yesterday. Thank goodness I saved 'em, huh? Barbara. Mm-hmm? I understand about Roger being a great pool player... Fantastic player! His life's dream is to play competition on TV. But what I don't understand is the part about the gold teeth. Ah. Well, um, his gardening truck. Did I mention that Roger is terrific with tropical flowers? And therefore I know he's gonna be doin' real well over here. Anyway, his gardening truck was rear-ended, and his mouth... Steering wheel. So, he had this friend whose cousin was a dentist... Some friend, right? And he gave him a deal on these new front teeth. The problem with tailing a bus is that it can be pretty humiliating. See, a bus creeps along while the rest of the traffic moves around it. Well, all the, uh, enamel fell off, leaving just the gold casings. Yeah. So that's why you don't have a photo of Roger. He's embarrassed to get his picture taken. Come on. The next pool hall is right up the street. Okay. Barbara, does anyone know that you've come here looking for Roger? Ha.! Only half of Bayonne. I tried to stop my mother, but she insisted on giving an elopement party. Which is a first for New Jersey. I would be paranoid to assume the blue sedan was following Barbara and me. There were plenty of other people on the bus. But private investigators are paid to be paranoid. So I made a mental note to check for the car when we came out. I wonder if Barbara realized just how careful I was being on her behalf. - Yes, Mr. Masters? - Hi, Higgins. It's me. Magnum, why must you always call me on Robin Masters's private line... when there are four other perfectly good phone lines into the estate? Well, it's the only number that I can remember. Um, Higgins, can I have the Ferrari? - You're asking? - Of course I'm asking. This isn't like you, Magnum. Not like you at all. Well, I... I need it delivered. Delivered? Look, Higgins, I only have 24... 23 hours to solve this case that I'm on, and I can't do it riding around on a bus. A bus? You're on a case and you're riding on a bus? Don't laugh, Higgins. Some of your best investigators use buses. Buses can't be tailed. You can always spot a tail when you're riding on a bus. Oh, Magnum! This is too, too much. Just get me the Ferrari, Higgins. I'm at... Honolulu Lulu's. Honolulu Lulu's Pool Hall. Honolulu Lulu's! I don't believe it. Corner of Kaula and... and Hannaliki. I'll send one of the gardeners round with it. Oh, and, Magnum, don't forget to tell him which bus to take back. I wouldn't want him to make the wrong transfer or whatever it is one does on a bus. Nobody here ever saw Roger. Let's hit the next one. I've got my car coming. We went all through that. I got no time to wait around while you wait for a car coming from... Barbara, we can cover the pool halls faster from my car than we can in the back of a bus. Besides, how do you know Roger won't come through that door any second? Look, I'll tell you what. My car will be here within the hour. I'll play you for that hour. If you win, I still owe you 23 hours of investigative time. If I win, 22. But either way, we'll have my car and we'll move faster. What do you say? You a hustler? Do I look like a pool hustler? No. Rack 'em up. Uh, no. They're, uh... They're still in Lulu's. No. They haven't spotted us yet. All right. Right. Maybe I didn't have a fluorescent suntan, but I'd spent my share of time in pool halls as a kid. Of course, that was a long time ago. - Straight pool? - Mm-hmm. Gee, I haven't played since I learned for Roger. In Bayonne, girls in their late 20s, or early 30s, still do that for their men. Roger and I met playing pool. I felt this... attraction to him and asked him to teach me. When someone's showing you the game, there's a lot of... touching and being close. Well, by the end of the evening, he'd asked me out. It was just like in the movies. You know what I mean? I think I can guess. Excuse me. Well, just when I know he's about ready to pop the question, he disappears. - Ah. - Almost a year later, I get this postcard from him... with this P.O. box postmark, you know? Once the writing started again, we burned up the post office. I mean torrid, you know? And then, bam! A marriage proposal. Excuse me. Well, I was so excited I couldn't sleep for two nights. And then I telegraphed. "Yes. '." And then yesterday, when I got off the plane... No Roger. That's 24 hours you owe me. Rack 'em up. Well? Well, we do what we have to do. We visited so many pool halls that day and night, I couldn't begin to remember them all. Barbara's 24 hours were about up... that is... until your figured our pool bets. According to my calculations, you owe me through dinnertime, which is 6:00 p.m. in Bayonne. Right. My paranoia was in full bloom. Every time we came out of one of those pool halls, the blue sedan was cruising by. Even after we switched from the bus to the car, his tailing didn't improve. It was almost like he wanted to be spotted. Barbara? Hmm? Are you a girl who gets nervous in a car? Never. Wah! Barbara, I'm going to the bathroom. In two minutes, you go to the bathroom. But I don't have to go to the bathroom. Please, go to the bathroom. But I... I don't have to go to the bathroom. Please. Okay. But I don't have to. When somebody drives a car that tries too hard to be average... and sports a haircut with white sidewalls, government. But why would the government care about Barbara's missing fiancé? That's funny. Higgins usually has the dogs greet me. Yeah, me too. Except today he was in a really, really good mood. Kept laughing and saying something about busing. Why don't you make yourself at home, T.C.? Yeah, that's what I'm doin'. Uh, where's the powder room? He ain't got one of them. My bathroom is right through there. Thanks. Rick, I want you to check a... a light blue sedan for me. License number 5567 A. It's a... a government vehicle or a rental. And the driver, well, he's, uh, early 20s, blond... Yeah, government type. Yeah. Uh, thanks. What are you doing? The Iron Man contest. Oh, no, T.C. No way. I told you. I am not entering that. Don't start again. Not even to save Island Hoppers? I mean, I figure what I need is better promotion, better advertising. What could be better than to have the company name... in front of the public in a big, fancy... Oh, I see. You're entering the race. Did I hear somebody mention a race? Oh, yeah. It's the Iron Man. It's a big event with men and women if you're into competitive suicide. See, first you swim five miles in rough water. Then you run a complete 26 mile marathon. Then, finally, the people who are still alive, they bicycle a hundred miles. T.C. here is gonna enter. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me. You. Island Hoppers is going to sponsor you in the Iron Man. Oh, no. No way. A person's gotta be crazy to enter that event. Mm-hmm. That makes you the perfect candidate. Besides, look at the difference in our bodies. I mean, I'm all shiny, muscle and power. But you... you got the legs to win it. That's right! And I intend to keep them. I mean, think about this, T.C. Swimming, running a marathon and then bicycling a hundred miles. All right. What-What-What about all this "" I owe you one, T.C."? When does that get paid? Well, that's different. I mean, that's entirely different. Vouchers. What about vouchers? Vouchers for... for gas, vouchers for air time, vouchers for this, vouchers for that. When are you gonna take care of that? I'd do it, T.C. I really would, but, see, I'm on a case with Barbara here. Ah. Now, I've had occasion during the past 24 hours to scrutinize the body in question. - Mediocre reflexes... - Mediocre? Average motor skills... Average? And speed and endurance of a questionable nature. Shoot! Now there's no way this specimen could complete, let alone compete in, the Iron Man competition... unless... Let me guess. Well, unless what? Your boy gets a first-class, knowledgeable, certified trainer to guide him to a winning body. Yeah, but where do I get that? I mean, a dude like that's gotta cost big bucks. Not a dude, T.C. A "dudette." Am I right, Barbara? Modestly, yes. The pride of Bayonne. The top instructor at the Firmer Body in Ten Days Figure Salon. And in return for my services, Magnum continues to search for Roger... and then runs the Iron Man to pay his debts to you. Deal? You got it. No! And a one and a two... and a three and a four. And a one and a two... and a three and a four. And breathe. And a one and a two and a breathe. Good morning, Barbara. Very subtle. You're wasting your time. I don't want to play. Oh, now, Magnum. Now, the secret here, you see, is knees to chest. Knees to chest. Try it. Now... I am heading for a swim, and when I get back, Barbara... Babs. Call me Babs. Or Coach. Or whatever makes you feel comfortable. Never. I will never call you Coach because I promise you I am never going to enter that contest. Well, what about T.C. and saving the Island Hoppers? What about Roger and me? I mean, this whole deal depends on your entering this contest. - I mean... - Good morning. I am sorry about all that, believe me, and I'd do anything for T.C... anything else, I mean. Oh. And maybe we can work something out about finding Roger. Oh, no, I could never accept charity. Well, then pay me later, but just don't talk to me about this contest. Ah, the contest. The excitement, the anticipation, the agony. Now, here are the items you requested, courtesy of the household account. Protein powder, vitamins with an emphasis on "" B" complex, tuna for tuna shakes. It sounds positively revolting, but I'm sure it's quite nourishing. Higgins, what is this? Paying out of the household account? You never pay for anything for me out of... Wait. How'd you find out about this? T.C. told me his plans when I let him in last night. For once I agreed with him, and so does Mr. Masters. It's a capital idea. Robin? You talked to Robin? By happy coincidence, he phoned last night from Venice. I took the liberty of informing him of the race. And you let him think I was entering? Higgins, how could you? That's a lie.! A deliberate lie.! I must say, he was simply wildly enthusiastic. Well, he'd been drinking. He'll probably wake up tomorrow morning and won't remember a thing. What better way to ensure the security of the estate than for our resident investigator to be in top shape? But I've saved the really thrilling news for last. There's more? To signal his support of your effort, Robin's sending you something from Italy, air express. A World Cup racing bicycle from Milan. I understand it cost 2,700 American. Terrific! Do you know a bike like that only weighs seven pounds? You know what an edge that's gonna give us? $2,700 for a bicycle. I knew you'd be thrilled. Let me know if there's anything else I can provide. By the by, do you have someplace to stay? A small hotel on the other side of the island. I'll make one of the guest rooms available. So much more convenient for your training purposes. Thanks! And, Magnum, best of luck. I know training can be bloody hell. I was prepared to go along with it, at least until I had the business of Roger figured out. After all, I was in top shape. Maybe we should take a break. Nonsense. Whatever you do, don't stop. Just remember my motto at the exercise salon. Beauty Knows No Pain. just try it. It's gotten more ladies through my class... Please! No philosophy. We've barely come 10 miles. Now, I want to see you sprint from here to the estate. Go. Beauty Knows No Pain. Go! Go, or it's an extra 200 sit-ups. Hi. Miss Terranova? We'd like to talk to you. Magnum! Magnum.! Magnum.! Beauty Knows No Pain! Take it easy now. Okay? I'm making a citizen's arrest. Oh, come on, lady. Come on. Hey! - Stop it. Get your hands off me. - Gold teeth! Don't make this any harder than it has to be. Oh, let her go. Let her go. Let's get out of here. We're gonna draw a crowd. Just don't lie there. Get 'em! Wait. Higgins. Wait. Easy. Better? A little trick I learned in Shanghai just after the war... from a sturdy little Oriental chap who demonstrated using dogs. Actually, it's still pretty bad. I think I may be out of action for several days. - No swimming with this. - Perhaps a little acupuncture. Let me just get my needles and we'll try some simple muscle testing. On the other hand, activity could be good for circulation. Let's go back to the guesthouse. I'll give you hot packs, alternating with cold packs. No. Not so fast. Aren't you forgetting something? - You mean? - Yes, as a matter of fact. The Hardy Boys out there. Especially the one with Roger's teeth. I was just gonna tell you about that. You were just so busy with beauty and pain that it slipped your mind. Roger doesn't have any gold teeth. Well, these two guys came to see me in Bayonne about six weeks ago. Looking for Roger. What story did they give you? Even at the exercise salon it sounded phony. They knew I was his girlfriend, and if I saw him, they wanted me to give him some money... a check for a couple of thousand they said he loaned them. Well, I returned it, naturally. Naturally. I'm scared of those guys. They want to hurt Roger, and I don't know why. We gotta find him first. So you made up... the whole story about the gold teeth... to find them while we were looking for Roger. Do you have a photograph of him? Oh, in... in my bag. You lied to me about that! You said you didn't have one! I know. Hmm. Fine figure of a man. Honolulu's a big place, Thomas. I'll check it out and see what I can turn up. Come on, T.C. just one beer. You're in training. I'm not going to have my contestant... barfing his guts all over the race from guzzling beer. Okay. Okay. Have it your way. Just because I thought it would help me forget how... sore my shoulder really is. Aw. Well, Beauty Knows No Pain. And I should know. Cut that out! - You really believe everything she's telling you about Roger, huh? - Yeah. Sure. Well, 65% I believe. Hey, what about that, uh, government guy in the sedan? Why is he nosing' around? Oh, great. Goons and government. That's big time. That's mob, Thomas. Rick, I am not jumping to any conclusions. just 'cause it looks like... just cause it looks like he is a government witness. Whoa. Roger's a mob stool pigeon? Bullets flying' all over the place, and you got a race? You really believe her, huh? Rick! Okay, okay. I told you I'd check it out, and, Thomas, I will check it out. Um, Thomas, listen. I thought after the race I'd throw a little celebration. Like a congratulation gesture. Yeah, yeah. Just us guys. Yeah. And maybe a couple of TV reporters. You know, a human interest story. Get a little publicity for T.C. You know, war buddy helps pal. Yeah. TV reporters. And how about some wire service stringers, Rick and a couple of photographers, Life Maga... Thomas? Thomas. Magnum, it's here. Ta-da! It's glorious, isn't it? I'm surprised that it arrived so soon. Yea. Terrific. I'll just have a go at the gears. Then you can take her out for a spin. Double-time it, Magnum. Swimsuit on. Mr. Higgins, if you could have it ready by the time Magnum finishes his swim, that would be perfect. No problem. Actually, Magnum, I quite envy you the bike race... because the course cuts through the Austin Memorial Gardens, which are normally off-limits to visitors. I've been there. You have? Yeah. Well, Roger wrote about the Austin Gardens a lot, so it was the first place I went when I landed. He worked there when he first came to the Islands. Why didn't you tell me this? I'm your investigator. I don't know. Well, he wasn't there. They didn't know where he'd gone. But they said he was wonderful with tropical flowers. We have got to talk. When you've had your swim, then we'll try out the new bike. Barbara, I have the feeling you're stringing me along, and it's going to stop now. What? You don't think Roger proposed to me? Oh.! Or... Or you think I'm the kind of girl that never gets proposed to. - No, that's not what I mean. - Well, I'll have you know... that in high school I was voted queen of the Friday night dance... twice. And I was head cheerleader my junior year. Barbara! Now, look, what other places did he write to you about? None. Unless you count the place on the card he sent me to propose. "" Dear Babs, This is where all our dreams will come true." "" The Old Hawaiian Aloha Wedding Chapel." That's a proposal? Well, wouldn't any reasonable girl take that as a proposal? - Did you go there? - Without Roger? For heaven sakes, why? Excuse me. Excuse me. Yoo-hoo. Yoo-hoo. You can't go in there right now. I... I'm very sorry. You can't go in there right now. There's a ceremony in progress. That's all right. We're just looking for a friend. You mean you're, uh, not the future Mr. and Mrs. Lloyd Brockman? Do we look like a bridal couple? Uh... Don't you wish to be married here? Yes. No. Oh, I see. Uh... I wonder if it'd be possible if we could see your gardens? Oh, yes. Even in Hawaii we're famous for our gardens. It's right around there. And for our weddings too, of course. Thank you very much. You're welcome. That was a fast answer. Have you ever been married? No. Engaged? No. How about heavy fooling around? Never on the first date, and then only if the girl is sincere and will respect me. [ Recessional ] All right, everyone. Picture time. Now, you come over here, Mrs., um... And... And over here for you, Mr... Roger? Babs? Roger? Babs! Oh! What are you doing here? Didn't you get my telegram? Roger, what did you do to your hair? Roger, where's your mustache? Who's he? Oh, this is a private investigator. A cop? Wait, no. Uh, a private investigator. See... You don't understand. Roger, wait! I love you, Roger! Get in the car. Oh! Hold it! U.S. Treasury Department. You two are in big trouble. It was a double blow to my ego. The good guys were bad guys, and vice versa. The dumb kid in the blue sedan turned out to be a mafia hit man, while gold teeth and his partner were really treasury agents. And all of them, including Barbara and I, were hunting for Roger. For different reasons, of course. It seems the love of Barbara's life used to be Godfather Bracito's gardener. One day while tending the roses, he dug up two million from an armored car robbery... that had been cooling until the statute of limitations had run out. Roger dropped it into a fertilizer bag and walked away. In a funny way I had to admire him. Walking out of a don's estate with two million in a bag of bat guano. Barbara. Barbara. I can't believe it. Why didn't he tell me? Well, maybe he loved you too much to involve you. Oh. You think so? Well, he wrote you all those letters after he already had the two million dollars. How many guys do you know who would do that if they didn't love you? We gotta find him. Oh, don't worry, Babs. This guy with the gun won't harm him until he has the money, and Roger's not dumb enough to tell him where it is. Well... We won't give up. We'll just keep looking. Today, tomorrow... Oh, not tomorrow. The race is tomorrow. Well, Roger's more important than the race. Oh, Thomas, you know, I get this feeling down deep in my solar plexus... that if you really try... I mean really try real hard... you can win this race. And if you win, everything will be okay for Roger and me. I mean, the police will find him and... and he'll give back the money and we'll get married. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know. Beauty Knows No Pain. Yeah. ? Beyond the reef? ? Where the sea is dark and cold? ? My love has gone? ? And our dreams grow old? ? Someday I'll know? ? She'll come back? Remember, this is your best event. So don't go saving your energy for the other events. Got it? Yeah. Don't forget. Hey, man, I don't want to put any kind of pressure on you, but... I bet every dime I got on you. You what? I guess I got carried away. No pressure? You call that no pressure? Trainer coming through. Excuse me. Just take it easy. Come on. All right. Has anyone given him a salt tablet? No. Okay. I've got your glucose, your dry socks, liniment, bandages. Bandages? Bandages? - Just relax, okay? Relax. - Come on, Magnum. Warm up. Warm up. Yeah, get them legs goin'. - Get them legs in shape. - Two minutes, swimmers. Two minutes. - Oh, no. - Don't use them too much on the swim... What? What do you think you're doing. I'm sorry. No one informed me of the dress code. However... Knees to chest. Knees to chest. You received this cablegram from Robin Masters. One minute. Swimmers, to your mark. One minute. Since your hands appear to be a bit shaky, I'll take the liberty. Knees to chest. Knees to chest. Now bend over. Bend down. Take a deep breath. And up. "" All best wishes and good luck. "" Everyone here expecting news of your great victory. Warmest regards, Robin Masters." Not that he wants you to feel obligated to win, I'm sure. Thirty seconds. Trainers, leave your contestants, please. Relax. Don't worry, Thomas. You'll do it. Good luck, old chap. Just be cool. Just be cool. I only bet the farm. On your mark, All right.! Come on.! Get set... Come on! Let's go! Come on.! He's lookin'great, huh? I don't know. Did he seem a trifle tense to you? Higgins, let's go.! Well, just take all day, Higgy baby. Maybe beauty knows no pain, but I knew I did. I figured the only way I could get through the day was to put my body on automatic pilot... and concentrate on something else. The trouble was all I could think about was Roger. If Gold Teeth was right, he wasn't in a hell of a lot of trouble... not with the feds anyway. He'd stolen money, but he'd stolen it from a thief. If Roger turned it in before the statute of limitations on the crime ran out next week, he'd probably get a reward. Hurry up. They're due here any minute. All right, all right. Which brought me to Barbara. Why didn't he meet her at the airport? Did he have cold feet about marrying her, or... couldn't he show up because he knew someone was following her? But if he knew, why didn't he just take the money and run? Call her in a couple of weeks from Tahiti or wherever? Now remember the drill. T.C., you towel him dry, Right. Get him into the running shorts. Running shorts. Okay, Rick, shoes and socks. Shoes and socks. And don't forget the foot powder. Foot powder. I myself have exactly... four ounces of glucose. I'll get it. I'll get it. Come on, Magnum! Come on, Thomas! Move it! Come on, Magnum! Which one is he? He's right there. Can't you see? Come on! Yeah! Come on! Come on! Come over this way! Come on, Magnum.! Come on! Come on. - Hurry up! - This way.! Over this way.! Over this way.! Come on.! Over this way.! Come on, ya big lug. Come on.! Come on.! How am I doing? This is your best event? Just great. A champ. In contention all the way. T.C., you're killing me. T.M., I gotta get you dry, man. Here, take off your trunks. Hold this. Okay. And then put on these jogging shorts. People are watching! Oh! Here. Come on. Come on. Drink this very slowly. Slowly. Babs, damn it, turn around. - I'm your trainer. - I don't suppose anyone here knows the origin of the marathon. The Greeks met the Persians in battle... Sit down. On a great plain called Marathon. The Greeks were victorious and sent a runner back to the city with the glorious news. The distance was that of the modern marathon. - Rick, what are you doing? - We need another sock, Coach. One more sock. Lacing up shoes. The young man ran at top speed... Shoes, please. That's too tight! It's too tight! T.C., I'm dry! I'm dry! He stumbled through the gates of the city, cried out "" Rejoice, rejoice, " and fell dead. There's a lesson there. Come on, Magnum. Go, Magnum, go.! Hit it! Remember.! Knees to chest.! Chop-chop, chaps. To the van. Come on. I was dying. Everything confirmed it... my lungs, my head, my aching muscles. So, I concentrated on Roger. I tried to think of all the reasons Roger didn't leave the island... when he knew the mafia and the feds were on his tail. It came down to either a great love for Babs... or he couldn't get his hands on the money. Yeah. I settled on the money too. I thought of all the ways it might be tied up... investments, stocks, gold, land... ways that would take a while to liquidate. After 26 miles... I decided it was none of the above. He'd hidden it somewhere, and he couldn't put his hands on it immediately. By the time I got on the bicycle, I was ready to fall over dead. I'd never make a hundred miles. There was no way. Not even if I concentrated on Roger and his problem. Impossible. But I had to try. Beauty Knows No Pain. He'd hidden the money. He had to. The statute of limitations was almost up, but he couldn't get it because... it was inaccessible. I had it. I had the answer. Only I was so damn tired, I couldn't pull it out of my brain. All right. Here they come. All right. Come on, come on, come on. Come on.! Come on.! Come on, Island Hoppers.! Let's go.! Come on, Island Hoppers.! Let's go.! Let's go.! Let's go.! Let's go.! I'm telling you, I don't know where it is. I buried it under a Bougainvillea Priscilla. But that was a year ago. The whole garden's changed since then. Ain't buying' it, Roger. The sun's almost gone down and the race is over. If you don't get that money before they close this place, there's gonna be something else planted here. What's with the tender loving care? Pull it up! Nine, 10, 11, 12... Thirteen! There's 13 riders ahead of him! This is ridiculous! It's okay. He can still win. There's still 60 miles to go. Tom! Come on, Magnum! - Come on! - Did you enjoy the flowers? That was it. The flowers. It had to be. Roger had hidden the money here in the gardens where he used to work. Magnum! What are you tryin' to do? Ruin me? Turn around! Turn around! It must be the ruddy heat. I saw it happen several times in India. I remember once when the raja of Punjab was racing elephants... in July on the Tigris Plain. There was this rogue bull. Come on, will ya, Higgins? He got behind the raja's elephant and tried to mount him. Uh, the elephant, not the raja. Extraordinary. Hold it. Hold it, T.C. There's his bike. Magnum! Let's split up. I'm gonna go this way. Okay. Heliconia caribaea. Fascinating. In the north it's commonly now called lobster claw. Alpinia. Indigenous to New Guinea. Marvelous. Ah. Alpinia oceanica. Splendid. - Your time's running out. - Uh, I think it was closer to the waterfall. You see, I buried it at night, and I... Find it! Yes. - Roger! - Babs.! Why didn't you tell me? I couldn't. It was too dangerous. You might get hurt. Oh. Terrific idea. Now, look, you better find it or... You buried the money here? A year ago. Only everything's changed so much I haven't been able to find it. I'm not a thief, Babs. Well... Really I'm not. It was just so tempting. But I decided to turn it in for the reward money. Only I had to find it first. And today's the only day I could get in here without making everyone suspicious. It's okay. It's okay. Even if you wanted to keep the money and be a thief. Just tell me you wanted to marry me. Of course. Didn't you get my proposal? The postcard. With the wedding chapel on it. Would you guys find it! I love you, Roger. I love you, Babs. Barbara! You creep! Babs! Coach! Enough! Ah, Magnum. There you are. You realize, of course, you have no chance of winning. Well, Buddy's not saying a word. Catching him with a gun is enough. The guy's a three-time loser. You know they're gonna put him away for life... probably 300 years. And the money, they still haven't found it? Roger didn't exactly give them a pinpoint location. They're liable to be digging up that place till the next Iron Man race. He seemed sure it was in the Bougainvillea Priscilla. They'll find it. And then we'll get married and go back to Bayonne. And I'll open an exercise school, and he'll open a little tropical flower shop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And everybody will come out of this pile of bat guano smelling like a rose except me. Just think, man, I'm the one that put up the money to sponsor you. You forget, Robin Masters made a sizable contribution without expecting any publicity for it. Robin? What about me? I put up the food, the booze, the potato chips. Stop it, all of you. Tom did his best. He... He saved Roger, didn't he? Hey. Hey, the race is on. Oh, hey, man. Spare me. I don't want to look at no race. I don't want to know nothing about no race. Shh. Today's running of the famed Iron Man Classic drew a record number of competitors. The big surprise of the event came in the last leg, the 100-mile bicycle portion, when a rider sponsored by Island Hoppers... suddenly reversed field as he exited the famed Austin Memorial Gardens. We've got some footage of that Island Hoppers biker, who certainly lived up to his sponsor's name. Whoever you are, Island Hopper, we admire your style. Yeeha! Look at... And that's the news from all of us to all of you. Good night. ANGEL GUTS: RED PORNO There are perverts everywhere nowadays. Hello? Come on Nami. You're my best friend. Do my shift tomorrow, please? I've got a date. What job is it? Can just anyone do it instead of you? Yeah. As long it's a woman. It's very easy. You just have to stand there doing nothing. What are you doing? Please stop it. There must have been a misunderstanding. I only came here to take over for one night. Will you just stop that? Please stop it. No. Won't someone stop him! ? No! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! No! Stop it! Hey, stop looking so serious. Let me go. Mr Muraki? Ah. Hello. Don't you know you shouldn't put plastic rubbish out until tomorrow? Sorry. Oh dear, look at her. Isn't she looking beautiful? You must be popular amongst the boys. Hi, Chie. Are you alright? - Alright? - Yeah, fine. Are you going somewhere nice again? - We're getting obsessed. - Really? , When he first came here he had a smile. Just like a shining apple. Now he's worn out because he can't sleep. Experienced sushi chef wanted at the end of this month... RED PORNO RED PORNO Can you alter these, make them a bit longer? Certainly. Would this be long enough? Welcome to our store, Please watch your step, I'm really sorry. Oh, sorry. Are you alright? Yes. How about tonight? Uh... Dinner. It's a Greek restaurant. You'll love it there. But... Can you wait for me at that cafe on the corner when you finish work? I have to go home now. Of course, don't worry. Are you alright? I'm fine. I'm only a bit drunk. Are you alright? You were so drunk. Did I...? Why don't you take a shower to freshen up? Where is it? Come over here, princess? Did you book this room in advance? What do you think? Did you push me into the lift on purpose? I just wanted to get to know you better, because you're the most popular girl in our company, ... but no one's ever dated you. Please excuse me. Are you angry with me, princess? No! Don't! No! I've got to have you. I'll take them off myself. I don't want you to laugh at what you see. I'm not sexy. Don't worry. We're in a hotel room on the 32nd floor. If an earthquake hits, we'll die together. I'm scared. Moan more. Is it nice? Move your hips more. Hold me tighter. Shall we go to that hotel that has a revolving bed next? Yeah, I've always wanted to go there, You know how sexy your voice sounded? I liked it, Are you comparing me with someone? Who? Look at the TV. - Come on. Just look. - l don't want to. Nami's pussy's sucking my penis in. It's just like an animal. Look, it's chewing it. Don't be silly. Get a condom for next time. Is your wife alright? She's alright. - What if she finds out? - Hum... yeah? Are you going to tell her that it wasn't serious with me? What! ? I told you I was gone on you. It should have been you. I met you too late to be my wife. Would you try to understand the feelings of a pervert? What kind of question is that? I've had a lot of perverted telephone calls lately. It's very eerie. Yeah? Ah! How does a pervert who's obsessed with you feel? I can understand that to a degree. Then you're a slut! I haven't worked for Dark Publishing for a long time. But I'm going to do some work for them. Pleasurable work, remember? Do you wanna come with me? No, thank you! Everyone loves your nude pictures. They've received so many enquiries about you from other magazines. - Good morning. - Good morning. Have you seen your nude pictures in the magazine? I don't want to see them. I only want to get that film back. You're not the only one. A lot of girls storm into the office with pimps to get the films back, because they don't want their parents to find out about it. Why don't you do that too with your married boyfriend, Nami? Oops. Sorry! Sorry! Everyone knows about it. Be a bit more clever next time. Did you know the magazine you're has become a best seller and has sold out? You're kidding me? I heard that you're never at home. That ugly looking editor, Sumi, said he'd wanted to contact you. It seems he called you a couple of times. Hitomi, did you give my number to him? It's not a big deal, is it? Where are you meeting them tonight? The usual place. I don't like it there. That place is becoming too famous. The weekly magazine wrote about that place as a Mecca of pornography. And there're so many perverts hanging around there. Hey, do you wanna go then? I won't get there on time. I have to do some shopping first. Someone stole underwear from your home, too? Yes, can you believe it? About 20 cases are reported to the police every month! Isn't it scary? They say this kind of thing aggravates things and leads to sexual crimes like rape. Yes, it might even lead to a murder case. Yes, this afternoon there was a documentary on TV about it. Really? Good afternoon. Isn't he creepy? What does he get up to? Whatever he gets up to, it can't be anything good. He's always hanging around here at this time of the day. Do you think he's the one who steals the underwear? It's very possible. Look at his face. He looks very dubious. - Can you keep an eye on him? - OK. I'm close by at the moment. A driving license? I don't have one. I understand. A man nods busily and wipes off his sweat. When he first came here. He'd never worked before and still had a smile just like a shining apple. He no longer has that smile and he's worn out because he can't sleep. By the end of this month, from the time he came here. An ear of rice could have grown to his chest. Above the top button of his shirt... Aren't you the model in this magazine? Please sign your autograph. Ah, I can't. Excuse me. Please excuse us. RED PORNO Are you really sure about it? Don't you know you could make one or two million yen easily with this job. Nami's not after money. - She did it because she trusted me. - So you say. Your image is very appealing. And you have such a nice body, too. Nowadays there is not much excitement in this industry. It's so boring. Did you give my number to anyone? Why? I've been getting a lot of perverted telephone calls lately. Is there a pervert stalking you? Such a lonely world, isn't it? Everyone wants someone to talk to. That sad looking guy outside as well. He looks like a guy who's henpecked at home. Are you sympathizing with a pervert! ? No, but I read these stories in the magazines so often nowadays, how some women have been assaulted or had their underwear stolen. Do you have a persecution complex? You might be the type. I think I'll be going now. OK, I understand. Why don't you take that magazine with you as a memento? Ladies and gentlemen, this train is leaving, please mind the doors, Nami Tsuchiya. Please come out. I just want to talk to you. Who are you? Say something. I saw you in front of the cafe. Why did you follow me? I sympathize with you, and I don't know why I'm doing this. When I saw you there, I just lost control. Who are you? ! I saw the magazine. I'm really not that kind of person! Just five minutes. Let me talk to you? I can understand why you are worried because perverts might call you or write you letters, but I'm not like that. So warm. Just leave me alone. I'm not that kind of woman. I'm not a porn model and never have been. I'm not like that. I'm not that kind of woman. I'm not! Excuse me? I have to lock the toilets shortly. What do you think you are doing in my room? I'm a manager of this apartment. I can come in. Can you please leave now? There's been a lot of female underwear stolen from around here lately. And? And what's more, the daughter of Mr Yamashita who lives across the road, says you often peek into her room. Have you got any evidence? I have a proper girlfriend. Why would I be interested in that school girl? Look at that. You've made a stain on the wall. Are you cleaning the room properly? That was there when I moved in. Leave that magazine here. Hello? Ah, it's you. Were you expecting someone more exciting? Where have you been until this late hour? The store will be closed tomorrow. Do you want to meet me in the afternoon? I've something I need to talk to you about. It's very important. OK, have you bought that stuff I asked you to buy? What's that? That stuff. Ah, condoms? Yes, I bought them. Hey, what are you going to tell me tomorrow? Oh, my wife is coming. See you. Your bath's ready. Don't you have to get up early for a game of golf with your clients? Early bed? Yes. Have you become one of those old men who read these kind of magazines? You must be kidding. One of my colleagues at work loves this kind of stuff and he gave me this one saying it was the best. Pornography in Japan is totally tasteless, isn't it? She's very pretty. Doesn't she look just like those girls who work in your department store? We haven't taken a bath together for so long. Why don't we do that tonight? Are you going to wash me, then? That girl in the magazine. That pretty girl. I've seen her. Where? At your company. Isn't she a sales assistant? So you think one of my staff members has become a porn model? Never. She's not my kind. Are you going home? Yeah. Are you scared of your wife? All wives are scary. So are you going to put some mud on your golf clubs? Oh! You've become an expert. Have you done this with anyone else before? So what did you want to talk to me about? Someone left this on my desk. The model is you, isn't it? Luckily he left it on my desk. But what if someone left it on a managers' desk instead? A friend of mine tricked me into this. I don't care who tricked you. What I'm asking you is, what should I do? What should you do? Should I show it to the manager or keep it secret? Are you threatening me? No, I don't mean it like that. I thought perhaps it would be better if I started seeing you at your home instead. Is this a threat? It's been quite costly. What with the money I've been giving to you as well. Isn't that natural because we love each other? Why don't you show it to the manager or whoever you want? Come on, Nami. What's wrong? No! OK. I understand. What happens is nothing to do with me! Nothing whatsoever. Who could do this? Is she a porn model? That can't be allowed. I'm wondering what I should do as her supervisor. There's no need for you to take responsibility in this case. She's just a slut. Yes. It can't be tolerated. Trust is very important in this industry. Lay her off. Of course. She looked nice, though. Come with me. No. You're working at the department store? Have you been following me? What's wrong? Has something happened to you? Stop talking as if you're a friend. Take this umbrella. You should go home now. I just wanted to apologize for having followed you like this. I didn't intend to do anything like that. Leave me alone. I've had just about enough of it. Please be quiet. Someone will hear us. That's all I've got to say to you! Stop it! I'm sick of it. You're the one who keeps following me and makes perverted calls, aren't you? That's not me. I never do things like that! How can you do things like that? And you sent that porn magazine to my company, didn't you! ? It wasn't me. I didn't do it. I wouldn't give this to anyone. Why do you have it! ? Nami. No! Stop it! If I knew your telephone number, I would call you all day. And if I'd known where you live, I would've written you a love letter everyday. What do you want from me? - The girl in that magazine isn't who I am! - That's not the you I fell in love with. Why don't you tear that magazine up then? Red Porno You're hopeless. Why can't you behave normally? Why do you have to torment me? If you get what you want, will you go away? This isn't what I want. This isn't what I hoped would happen. Will you go out with me tomorrow? From the department store? I'll be in front of the store at 7. I'll wait for you! I wasn't going to go back to the department store. Yes! Oi! What are you doing! ? She's dead! That's him. That must be him. It's revenge because she told everyone about him peeping into her room. Who? Who the hell is he! ? He's not here. He must've run away. Where the hell is he! ? Please don't be silly. What do you think you're doing with that gun? Get your hands off! Stop it! Stop it! There he is. That's him. That's the guy! Tomorrow night at seven. Just one more time. I'm used to being disappointed. Tomorrow night at seven... I want to see her. I want to meet her. I heard that you'd finished. I was fired. You're joking? ! I'm gonna have to be careful too. You will be OK. Hitomi. What are you going to do then? I'm going to have a break for a while then start from the beginning again. Waiting for a date? Yeah. Oops. I see. Take care. Let's go shopping sometime. Let me use your staff discount card. Bingo! I was too harsh on him last night, I was going to give him my magazine to make up for it, but I guess that's it, Producer: Yoshihiro Yuki (NCP) Plan: Naoya Narita Original Story and Screenplay: Takashi Ishii Recording: Osamu Onodera Graphic Design: Yoshie Kikukawa Editing: Akimasa Kawashima Music: Hachiro Kai Assistant Director: Takashi Kodama Image Development: Toyo Kenkyujo Production Manager: Akio Hattori Cast: Jun Izumi, Yoko Kurita Yuri Yamashina, Miiko Sawaki Kyoko Ito, Osamu Tsuruoka, Masahiko Abe, Noboru Mitani Noriyuki Kitami, Masakazu Minato, Toshikatsu Matsuo, Akio Matsui Tatsuya Hamaguchi, Michiko Aso Noriko Tasu, Etusko Seki Director: Toshiharu Ikeda THE END RHYTHM OF A CRIME (By the novel "Good Spirit of Zagreb") Starring Directed by This is my house. It is located in Trnje, in 87 Paromlinska street. It was built by my granddad who was a railwayman, back in 1909. It was where my father was born, and so was I. But we haven't been living here permanently. My father was a teacher. I've spent most of my childhood in Dalmatia, and when I got back to my old house at the age of 17, boys from the hood kept calling me "Dalmo" for a while. I'm a loner. I teach history and geography at elementary school nearby. Circumstancially, I never got married, and I wouldn't find easy to move away from here since the house, like the rest of this street, is to be demolished soon. I haven't been disturbed when I heard about this. For quite some time, I wasn't even paying attention to it. What do I need, anyway? I begun serious thinking about the house, my departing and the whole neighborhood only when Fabian shown up. One day, he just rang my doorbell. Good day. - Good day! I was looking for you already. You may heard of it. Neighbors just told me! Please, come in. We can do it like this. I wouldn't like to bother you. I have a plea for you. - For me? Please, come in! Let's not stand here. It's maybe inadequate. The thing is delicate. They're not dangerous, aren't they? No... please come. Sit, please. You just speak. I don't know where to start. Excuse me... Have we met before? No. I wouldn't say so. You see, this is a bit... Would you rent me a room? Me? - Yes. Have somebody send you to me? It's a mistake, then. No, I come by myself. I heard in the neighborhood that you're a loner. I'm a loner, too. I was living in Trešnjevka, Gorjanska street. It's a very similar street to this one. So I thought... I know Gorjanska street! You see, I was living there for two years, and now I got fired. Before that, I was living here in Trnje for 30 years. I know every house and street. I kept knocking at the doors around to ask. I'm sentimentally attached to this area. So I decided to try my luck in Paromlinska street. So, this is how you came to me? People decide to rent their room after they've been suggested to do so. I thought you were the one. I don't know. You have confused me. Maybe I should tell you something about myself? I'm retired for disability. I was a land surveyor. I could pay as much as you want. I can make money in another way. Leave it, that's not... I'm peaceful, too. I don't play cards or bring women home. I don't even drink or smoke. I'm mostly out, I even eat there. - That's ok, but I don't know... It is so suddenly. Understand me, I can't just do it right away. You don't have to decide immediately. I'll come in a day or two. You think about it. Ok? - I don't know... Well, day or two, that would be fine. Good. So, there is a chance, eh? See you in a couple of days, then. I won't bother you anymore. Bye! You don't have to leave right off! You just think over. Help yourself. - Thanks. Please, be careful with this. It's fragile. Would you mind? - Thanks. It's nothing special. I will show you, don't worry. I told you I was a land surveyor. This here is a theodolite. I look through this every once in a while. I only need to keep it unnoticed. Why? - I don't want them to think I'm some kind of a spy. Have I shown you the bathroom? - No. It's dilapidated, as you see. There's no need to repair it now. You won't have to walk through my room. Be sure that you lock yourself when you use the bathroom, they may break in. I haven't told you... Do you know that this house is going to be torn down in a month? Of course I do. Why did you insist to live here, then? Sentimentality and other things. I told you. When this happens, I'll manage myself somewhere else. You won't have any troubles with me. I admit that I was worried at start how would I get used to another man's presence under my roof, but Fabian was so quiet and unnoticeable that I even felt unpleasant. As if I asked this from him. I haven't seen him for days. Yes? Good... How do you do. A coffee, maybe? If you don't mind. Ok. Come on in. You're puzzled about all this, right? About my charts. Yes. What is it? I'm into statistics, you know. Only as a hobby. I classify all kinds of data. I may show you sometimes, if you want. Good morning. - Good morning. Nice day. And you already got up. - I haven't even slept. Why, are you suffer from insomnia? I was working until a minute ago. You know how it is. It's better not to leave it for tomorrow. Tomorrow, one may get a toothache, or a headache... The years are later, too. And then it's late for ideas. You've been working with statistics, right? - Yes. You said it's more like a hobby to you, to kill your time. Right, but if you're forced to do this, it wouldn't go that easy. But if one is having fun with this and puts all his heart and soul into it, he works like he's getting the highest paycheck. Besides, it's kind of statistics that needs constant updates. I was checking the yesterday's papers. How about a coffee? - Thanks, I don't drink it early. What kind of newspapers? I wouldn't want to be mysterious to you, but otherwise, if I tell you, you may think I'm a bit... You know. Why not? People do everything out of hobby. In fact, I'm doing crime statistics. I'll give you a wet cloth. What type of crime? The financial one? Something about your profession? - No, but crime in general. There must be some criteria or logic. There is logic. It's a crime statistics in the city of Zagreb, and I'm interested in Trnje neighborhood in particular. After all, that's where I come from. So, that's why you wanted to live in my house. Yes... Among other things, too. It's a crime statistics classified by various criteria. Have a seat! - Thank you very much. Why do you need that? It's a hobby. I told you. How come you got involved into crime? Well, don't you think it's the biggest evil? I was never thinking about that. You claim that this statistics can be applied somehow? Well, I'm sure it can. These kinds of crime stats are being kept normally. The felons are filed by gender, age, financial status and profession. Crimes are being classified by seriousness, by place of origin, by felon's and victim's present condition. I have all that in these books, too. But I have a separate chart for each group. Children, men, women... Here, I have the intellectuals of classic and technical education separately. Then, the working class... the laborers, the military officers, the mafia, etc. So, there's the separate stats for each group. How do you collect informations? Later about that. Check this out. I have an insight into the crime increase of laborers, farmers, or tradesmen. Then I have the crime stats regarding the female individuals of these same groups. Then I have the crime stats about these same groups considering the seriousness and nature of a crime. For instance, the intellectuals tended to commit crimes of passion before, while today they mostly commit financial crimes. The plundering of public property. That same group. Imagine that! That's an interesting fact. - Of course it is! But I introduced some new elements in the statistics that haven't been used so far. The chart consists of coordinate system. Right? We have the timeslots on the abscissa, and the numerical values on the ordinate. The number of victims in 1973, 1974, 1975... Or we could have the number of delicts on the abscissa, while the numerical values are on the ordinate again. But now comes my innovation. I didn't care much about quantities. I put the profession on the abscissa, and the type of offense on the ordinate, thus coming to the interesting social aspect of it all. That's the first thing. Secondly, I used the following criteria: Daytime, season of the year... And I got an interesting phenomenon. For example, the mafia tends to kill in the springtime early in the morning. While the intellectuals usually kill in the wintertime late in the evening. The housewives are victims of pocket-picking mostly in the summertime before 12am. While the mafia members normally beat up their wives in late June. I'm really impressed! Help yourself. How did you come to this? You mean, the system? - Yes. Look, if one uses his head... Cheers. Besides, if one has a love for such work, nothing is hard. I'm currently working on something. I'm working on classifying the human crimes in regards to the victim. You've heard about the victimology, right? It's a study of victims. You see, I have all that amply written in my books, but I'm worried about one thing. Namely, it is not unimportant who's the victim and what is his/her role in a crime. What about data? Where did you get it? I find all that in the newspapers. There's tons of data for those who know how to read carefully. I know, but they sometimes keep it quiet if it's an financial crime or a messy one. Then, all those traffic accidents. Who would note down all this? You see, it's important having a system. When one creates a system, he doesn't need every piece of data on his disposal. The system is what counts. It shows everything. You've heard about probability and statistics, have you? It never fails. For me, the most important is to know the number of crimes in Zagreb. The quantity of each type. Where they happened. The newspapers only prove something that I already know in my own way. Strange, isn't it? No, no... Statistics is generally... How far are you ready to go? You mean, in depth or width? - Well... In width, for instance. You see, I have data for Trnje. I begun from here. I have an insight into quarters, streets, houses... Almost the apartments. Maybe it's too ambitious speaking about this, but maybe it should be expanded to whole Zagreb and its suburbia. I have a lot of data about that, too. And then even wider. Say Dubrovnik, Split, Rijeka, Osijek, Varaždin, etc. That's fantastic! What about the depth? What may be the depth of it? That's more of a philological question! The question is: what's a crime? What should be considered an offense? I thought you were taking the basis of law into account. Yes, but beyond that. The law is too narrow for me. For instance, the felon who never gets caught is still a felon, right? Right. Should he be noted, too? - I guess he should. But how would you find one? - That's another question. When we agree about that, the things get complicated. Is it a crime when father spends all his paycheck on booze, while his children walk around in torn shoes? That's a complex question. Is it a crime when one doesn't care about his ill parents? I guess it is, if you say so. That's why one should record it all. Otherwise, statistics is not complete. That's ok, but... I can't see why... - Why is all this for, right? Yes. - I'm not surprised. As a matter of fact, I haven't explained you all about my work and what is the result derived from it even from afar. You don't see a purpose. Right? Explain me, then. Roughly, at least. Look, knowing about something means a lot, right? Right. The closer we get to the complete knowledge about what a crime is and how it occurs, I guess the sooner we'll destroy it. Yes, maybe. - It's doubtless. That's it. You see, my goal is to examine the crime activities in the city of Zagreb. In fact, to find out the way of getting rid of it more easily. I've told you I'm a sentimental man. I'm doing all this 'cause I love this city. I can't say I wasn't impressed by Fabian's theory. That night when he told me all about it, I wasn't able to sleep but I was rather listening against my will to the paper rustling that was coming out of his room. There was something silly about it like with every other hobby. I find hobbyists strange as usual. On the other hand, there was this Fabian's noble desire for common good, such denial and creative fervor that left a strong impression on me. During these days, however, I had to think about other things as well. Because Zdenka has shown up. Ivica! It's you? Hi. - Hi! When have you come? How are you? - I'm fine, thank you. The day before yesterday. Mom had a heart attack. She's feeling better now. The doctor had come. It was Zdenka. A woman I've never recovered from to this day. We were living in the same street and I was in loved with her ever since my childhood. At one point, we were even a couple in the high school days. We used to hold hands, walk around Paromlinska street and everybody knew about us. Her father was already working in Switzerland, and one day he called her to come there even before her graduation. It was known that she opened a beauty salon in Zurich. We were sending letters for a while, I remember I was writing pretty fearfully and then I just stopped at all. How are your kids? You're scaring me. So..? Dear, I don't feel a thing. Wait. This is the danger. The effect kicks in when you least expect it. You know, I'm discovering the US. What surprising people. They're clean and crystalline... They believe that Christ is always on the side of the winner. - May I say something? - Yes. I'm starting to feel the effect. Are you joking? - Is it strong? - Yes, I can't take it anymore. It's been so long, Curzio! You're the only person that calls me Curzio. Careful, she's looking this way. Is she crazy? My god! - My god, that woman is crazy! - She's nothing but trouble! Don't tell me she flew that plane all the way from Washington. Sicíly, but I don't doubt she'd manage it. She had her wings before she sprouted tits. - Maam... - Thank you. I'm General Howes, representantive of General Cork... Major Beckwith, General Cork's assistant. The General would love to be here personally, maam, but duty calls. At least someone's fighting the war. This is Captain Malaparte, our liason with the Italians. We'll see... I hope to be useful to your mission, Coronel Wyatt. General Cork has briefed me. General Cork has directed Captain Malaparte... to help you, Mrs. Wyatt. Obviously, you'll have to cooperate with the population... and Malaparte will be very useful. He has a fabulous villa in Capri. So what do you do in peace time? I was far too young to remember. He was in Spain before that, and before that, Ethiopia. He should have gone to the US. Our Italians are pretty well off. You're right, but there were already enough organ players. Are you making fun of me, Captain? No, on the contrary, I admire your assurance. You're everything we're not. You think so? Get away from me. I said leave me alone. - Don't touch me. - Keep away! - Come on, let's go, come on! - Out, come on, let's go! I'd like to help with your Moroccan troops, General, but I'm afraid I can't. But my dear General, this is an unprecedented shame! Incredible, a scandal! My men are, how shall I say, hypersexuall. Yes, they were born that way. They'll stick it in anything... in a sunflower, to be precise. A sunflower is enough for them. The point is, General, that depriving my troops of penicillin... is a crime! Syphilis is destroying their... combat strength. Yes, one penis after another. General, Guillaume, every month... I recieve a limited supply of penicillin from the United States. And what do you think my priority should be? To save a sodomite who likes sunflowers... or a wounded American? - Now please excuse me. - General Cork... it's Coronel Eliot, sir. He says it's urgent. Be quick about it, Coronel. We're at war. What? No, no, that makes no sense. Let's start over from the beginning. Right, first we want a creamy soup. But our soup is creamy, like mud. Tomato soup? Yes, I think that's alright. And don't forget the bleach. I don't know, it looks like we'll have to look after her stomach. Anything else? But "why isn't there any fresh fish in Naples"? Coronel, you don't have to remind me I prohibited fishing. The Bay of Napoles is mined from here to Sicily. But when Mark Cork gives that Renaissance dinner there will be... fish cooked with mayonaise, understand? How do you know? Try the aquarium... Soldier... Fish cooked with mayonaise. My god! Do you think she'll like that? - I have no idea. - I expect Malaparte knows for sure... Thank you. - How much is it? - Ten liras. Thank you. Yes, understood. Alright. Thank you. Wow, a Renaissance banquet... in the middle of the Second World War. Thanks to my modest contribution, we should be able to avoid... those terrible meat rations and canned pineapple. ldiot! What are you doing, Sergeant? Excuse me Captain, but Private Prewitt... had a regrettable case of Mussolini's revenge. And it was sudden! Right, continue, Sergeant. But get out of there! Damn it! Stop, there are landmines! They'll be killed! My god, Prewitt! Let me see. - Are you a medic? - No, but I know what to do. Then get your hands off him! Give me something to cover him with. Why waste time on that, Captain? - We have to get him to the hospital! - There have been many cases like this. If we move him, he'll have a cruel death before we get him to the hospital. If we make him comfortable, the pain will pass. - He'll die in his sleep. - Like a dog! - Shut your mouth, Sergeant! - Go find a medic, Jimmy. Bring morphine, I'll take the responsibility. Him? He's Italian! That's an American soldier there, Captain! Now listen, Sergeant! That man is a Captain with more experience than either of us. We're going to do what he says. and follow his orders. I'll take full responsibility! We have to distract him, to do something... so he doesn't realize he's dying. There's only one thing we can do. Listen idiot, if you're wrong about this... if that doctor doesn't come... I'll rip your guts out just like his, got that? Now hurry it up. Well now Prewitt, you're lucky. You're going home... Just wet his lips. You know, I always thought you were lucky... Prewitt, but this was surprising. The ambulance will be here in a few minutes. A few days with pretty nurses bending over in front of you... and resting their tits on your shoulder... and then you're on a plane headed to the USA. Isn't that right, Kaminsky? Keep talking, Sergeant. Leave that idiot here. He's stuck in this stinking country. -Não é, amigo? -É, goma de mascar! - Guido! - Yankee! Fag. Come on Prewitt. Come on, cut that out. You want to see this guy's imitation of Mussolini? Come on, show him your Mussolini impersonation. Italian men... Italian women! For twenty centuries... Sorry, I can't. Cut that out, Prewitt. What are you doing here? Don't you know it's forbidden? It's a minefield. Get lost. Get that bitch out of here! Out, out! Can you get that Italian bitch out of here? - Get out bitch! - Enough! Are you here to fight Germans or to insult Italians? You're killing them! Out, out! Go! - Step aside boys, move! - The medic's here! It's too late. Nothing can be done. Thank you. Thank you. - Pasqualino! Pasqualino! - No! No! Is everything alright? Perfect. - What's her name? - Maria Concetta. Before continuing with this simple meal... I'd like to say, Mrs. Wyatt, on behalf of all of us... we have a great debt to repay you. Your presence at this table, tonight... serves as a reminder that we must win this war as soon as... possible so we can go back to the women we love. Mrs. Wyatt, it's a pleasure to have you with us. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This place is magnificent. Who does it belong to? The princess of Toledo. Captain Malaparte knows all the princesses in Europe. - Isn't that right Captain? - Not all of them, thank god. But Captain, you must surely know... Princess Carmela Esposito. She was my best friend in school. - Esposito? - Princess Carmela Esposito. Princess Carmela Esposito, Mrs. Wyatt, is an impostor. - What was that Captain? - Princess Esposito doesn't exist. "Esposito" is a name given to children... abandoned at hospices. Sadly, there are more "espositos" in Naples than ever. Well, all I know is that my friend... Princess Carmela Esposito lives in a palace in Rome. Our State Department tells me... that she was always an anti-fascist and I plan on visiting her. If she's an anti-fascist, I'd say that that's proof... that she's not a princess. If what you're saying is true, Captain... then there were many other people in Cambridge... who were greatly decieved... which doesn't reflect well on the Italian people. In Philadelphia, our Italian community is among the best. Very well, Captain, very well. A moment, please. I'd like to bring your attention... to the next item on our menu. Fish cooked in mayonaisse. We owe Coronel Eliot our gratitude for this repast... and the good Colonel tells us that this dish is called... Siren. - Do you know it, Captain? - Yes, I know it very well. Siren, the mermaid of Naples. Extremely rare. But I've seen it several times... - Where? - At the aquarium. You can't be referring to Siren, the seductress in Homer's Odyssey. Wretches. It's just an ordinary fish. Mermaids don't exist. My god, it's a baby! A cooked baby! We have to bury it! Cover her up! Cover her up! I swear, it's an edible fish, General. It's a fish, Mr. General... It's a fish, I swear. A fish! It don't care what they say. My god! - Well, in Philadelphia... - Gentlemen, sit, please. Please Mrs. Wyatt. Now, the good lord knows what Mark Cork thinks... of fish cooked in mayonaisse. I don't like war either, but someone has to lead. Serve them! I knew it was a fish from the beginning! Thank you. - Here. - Don't let anyone see, alright? - Here, take it. - We only got it today. That's absurd! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Bastard! Jean Louis! My mother told me I'd find you in Capri. So what are you doing in this corner of the world? It's my duty to come here for the revolution. Ah, yes, I had forgotten about Count Marx. And I had forgotten how deep your cynicism runs. Yours and that of your entire generation. Come Jean Louis, you wouldn't be a student of Marx... if his blood wasn't much bluer than yours. And where is it written that you have to be a proletariat in order to fight for justice? You don't understand the youth of today... you can't imagine how different they are. You wouldn't recognize the world that will come out of this world. The imperialists and their lackeys will be defeated. Hey, Malaparte, Jimmy sends word that he can't come. He was supposed to bring me a medic. Did something happen? No, no. He won't be able to come He wants you to cover for him. We have to go. Ciao. Wait a bit. - How much do you charge? - Let go of me! Fuck. - That's what I'm asking about. - Go eat shit. Alright. - So what are you doing right now? - Nothing, nothing. There's some boys that need a medic. - Come with me. - I didn't finish my studies. If you don't say anything then I won't either, alright? Come. - Jimmy! - I thought you weren't coming. We have to stop along the way. Pasqualino's coming too. Let's go! As you can see, the interior of Vesuvius isn't dormant. And examining the seismographs, we can see that activity... has increased in recent weeks. - Does that always happen? - Absolutely not. This is the first time I see this phenomenon. - Strange... - Yes. Maria, we... Excuse me, one moment. Maria! Where are you going? What about the picnic? Tell my father we're going to see the nuns. - What? - For my father. Don't tell him I was with you. Wait, wait. I'll take you. - No, we're going to take the tram. - When will we meet up? In two days. In the same place as always. Will you think about me? I will. I'd love to show you the youth of today. You can't imagine how different they are... they're better, they have revolution in their blood. If only Trotsky and Lenin had known that. Trotsky was a filthy traitor. Imagine what your mother would say if she heard you talk that way... about someone you never met, and someone who has passed away at that. Mund... Sir, I want to go to Munich. What for? There's food here. Doctor, my head hurts. Do you have something? No, I'm very sorry. I don't have anything. - The Geneva Convention, prisioner. - Mund... The gentlemen will say that they're in good health... - there's nothing to complain about. - This prisoner has appealed... - to the Geneva Convention. - He's got no case at all... - that idiot refuses to eat. - He's skin and bones. I lost money on this one. But the price of the others went up by 200 liras, right? Mr. Eduardo, it's going to be hard to win the war this way. Win or lose, I refuse to be trampled on. No, that's not an option. Am I clear? No, no. They're too fat, too ugly! Too German! On top of that, they're too expensive! Am I making myself clear? - It's unthinkable. - Alright, I understand. There's no need to shout. Fat is always useful. We'll make soap out of them. Come, let's go. They're going to turn these prisoners into soap... That's their problem. Tale a look at that. Queen of the Skies. Queen of publicity, that's what she is... - What do you think? - Well, she's photogenic. What did you say? That they'll make soap out of them? There's a shortage. Soap is worth more than 200 liras a kilo. and god knows people in Naples need it. - You must be joking. - No, General. It isn't hard to find. Is it true what the newspapers say? That you never drive a car? I never have to. I was thinking of helping you... with communcations. Well, that should be fine... Now to test it. Want to come with me? Yes, with pleasure, but what was the problem? Nearly nothing at all. Just old, I think. The damned motor was stuck together with wire when I got here... But it's been fixed. I hope so. Enough, enough! Did General Cork send you to be my latin lover? Enough! - Confess. - Yes, yes, enough! Forgive me, I was cruel, forgive me... Everyone is cruel sometimes. Hey kid, come here. Let's go have some fun. Two, two! Careful. Yes, five dollars. You're disgusting, stay away from me! You depraved animal! Cretin, pervert! How can they do it? My god, how can they sell their own children? They're hungry. It's better to sell them than to eat them. You're a degenerate. All of Naples is degenerate. Why did you bring me here? So I can feel as degenerate as you? We didn't start this war. We don't sell our bodies for a pack of cigarettes. A pack of cigarettes? Maam, what will you give me for that? Right. With this and a pack of cigarretes I can get bread... for a large family. Would you like some maam? - Here - Thank you. - I brought you here because... - Because everyone can be cruel. - Are we even now? - Yes. - Do you need anything else from me? - No, no. Jimmy? What did I do to you? It's not my fault if things didn't go well for you today. What's wrong with you, Jimmy? - Here. - What's that? Try it. Here, like this. Are you crazy? I already have hair. Did you bring this filthy thing from the US? No, not at all. It's from Naples. - From Naples? - Yes, yes. Every last hair. Who gave you this? Where'd you get it, Jimmy? Where have you been hanging out? Tell me who gave you this. Jimmy, come here. Come here. Forgive me. Excuse me. I'd like to... I'm looking for... - Maria Concetta. - What is it you want? She has a brother... Pasqualino. There are thousands of Maria Concettas and Pasqualinos around here. Wait, maybe he's talking about the virgin. - Oh, the virgin? - Yes. Her father doesn't know. Ah, her father doesn't know. Wait, I'll come with you. I'll come with you. - Thank you. - Antonio, and you? See if he'll give me a couple of dollars. - Here. - Thanks. - Wait here, I'll be right back. - Yes... Straight ahead. Good night! Come on, we can't stay herei. - He says that... - What does he say? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Jimmy, you can't come here. Never. My father... the war... he's sick. I brought this for him. - I see. - Yes. - Pretty, isn't it? - Yes. But put it away, I can't take it. My father musn't know. I have to go. I need to drop it off. Wait. No, wait, listen... I wanted to say, Jimmy, that I'm very happy when I'm with you. - But I have to go. - Wait. What a lovely butt. So firm. It's marvellous. It's lovely, very love. Come! Come, yes, like that. Very good. Well, normally I start with the cellar. Why don't we go directly to the bedroom? Did you forget? I already confessed... - Right, we're even. - This way, please. - This is a marvellous home, Captain! - Thank you. Did you buy it or have it built? I bought it, though I designed the landscape. I congratulate you. The lady's bath is ready. Will she take it alone? What did she say? Well, she wants to know if you're taking your bath alone. But Maria sometimes simplifies things a bit too much. Forgive her. It must be difficult to handle so many baths for couples. No, thank you Maria. I think I'll be able to maintain control... for at least the next five minutes. The lady will take a bath in five minutes, and by herself. It's from Jean Louis. - Urgent! - Right. Don't tell me, it's an invitation to organize an orgy. You're partially right. What part? An orgy, organize or invited? The third part. It's a party exclusively for me. I know you understand me... I can look like a man. What do you think? - How is Maria Concetta? - She escaped. Then you didn't get anything, is that it? Yes, and you're going blind. You're even wearing glasses|. Well, the doctor says... It's just that my eyes are exhausted. Are you worried about syphilis? So we don't want to hear about that, is that right? I'm not the one who has to worry about that. Very good! Very good! So why are you scratching? True. Quiet! I was waiting for you. Everything alright? Yes, it's fine. It's hot. It's hot. - Go on, push. - It hurts. It's too hot. Ice, I want ice. Give me a bit of ice. - Not coffee. He wants ice. - Ice, I want ice. Impossible. Impossible. I hope it's a girl. Relax! Calm down! Calm down! Stop screaming, you'll waste your strength. Push, come on! My god, it's a boy! Look how pretty he is. It's a boy! Here it is, the macarroni. Let's go, let's go! Look. Febo! Febo! Febo! I have to admit, I've never been there. You knew I'd be here. Are we even? - Come with me to Capri. - No. I believe in my marriage. Though... Febo, Palm... Did you find the dogs? Not yet. It's my fault. - You're a good person, Captain. - No more than you are, Mrs. Wyatt. What's this about "net weight in the morning"? What does it mean? I insisted on that, sir. Scientifically... the morning is when the human body weighs the least. And "net" means they'll be weighed in the nude and after... having gone through their morning routine. I understand... - Mr. Eduardo. - General. I assume that you understand that this little transaction... will cost the American taxpayers... 50 thousand dollars in exchange for 20 tons of enemy flesh. You don't want to pay? He doesn't think this price is democratic. Isn't democratic? I hope the newspapers don't learn about this. How is it not democratic? Officers and soldiers cost the same thing. - The same price... - Yes, yes, I understand, I understand. Ask him, how much would Hitler be? - What did he say? - He's asking how much Hitler would cost. Ah, thank you. Hitler... Tell him that with the Fifth Battalion marching on Rome... the price is falling ever day. It's the Fifth Battalion's fault the price is falling. - That's amusing. - Very well. Sir, the photographers. They're waiting outside. Let them in. Is he signing? Come in gentlemen. Mr. Eduardo, a group photo. - This way. - Yes. - Is someone looking for Febo? - Yes. And what about operation "Sky Girl"? It's today or never. - A picture. - Alright. Let's go over there. Major Beckwith... Antonio, come and take a picture. The poor thing's an orphan. - A mother's a mother, general. - Yes, of course, here. Smile for the camera. Lucia... Come here, hurry up. The Americans. It was dark, but I think it was here. - Yes, around here. - Hello. Why don't you take one of these? You're all too tall, Jimmy. Take one home with you. The Americans need to go back to reasonable proportions. Do you ever take anything seriously? Sometimes... Yes. No, you're like all the other Italians. - Are you going to help me or not? - No. - What's going on ladies? - How are you? - Are you free today? - A kiss. This is the place. Wait here. I'm going to go get the old man. Jimmy, don't go. I was wrong. I thought you were my friend. Ciao, Jimmy! Hey, I'm here to see Maria, Maria Concetta. - Jimmy? - We'll talk later, alright? - Don't go. - Jimmy. Relax Captain. Get in line like everybody else... - What are you waiting for? - The virgin of Naples, isn't it? Bullshit! I hear she even does it with horses. - How was it? - Save your money. Put it into war bonds. I'd stick it anywhere if I could just find a hole. My god, all the quim that isn't being used... and you keep jacking off. Confucius says: "Pussy everyday gets old". Go to hell! Out, out, out. Let's go! A dollar each, a dollar... Enough, enough! Relax... You want to screw her? Impossible. You want to be with her? Impossible! Because I'm her fatheri. - Understand? - Yes. - You want to sleep with her? - Yes! Yes! Impossible. Impossible! I'm her father. Gentlemen. Gentlemen... The virgin of Naples. A real virgin. You can put a finger in if you want, it doesn't bite. It doesn't bite. Try it. A real virgin. Virgin. Stick your finger in. Touch. Just a finger. Cutting in line, Captain? Relax! Look! Satisfied? Satisfied? What did you do? Are you crazy? Looks like he ruined your business... What are you doing, bastard? Son of a bitch! You knew the whole time! All of you, you're all a bunch of idiots! Jimmy, we've lost the war. Women and children will suffer more than anyone. You're pigs! A country full of pigs! - And what about you? - Shut your mouth! You go into homes certain you can... buy everything with chocolate and cigarettes. I loved her. You loved her? So what's stopping you? You're a pig! A pig from Cleveland! I wanted to marry her! Isn't that her man? Always there when I need you... I won't forget the chastity belt, Cliffton. At least I haven't forgotten to wear it until now. - Worried about syphilis? - I can't believe it! VDs can be more destructive... than war. But thanks to penicillin... Yes, Captain? You're one hour early. Hospital? Yes, I'm coming. - Could I make a phone call? - Yes. - Excuse me. - Who are you calling? - I'm calling Ted... - What are you going to do? Wait! Sorry, I didn't want to make you wait. No, no, I arrived early. - Are you alright? - Well... Sorry, really... Don't worry, maybe there's still time, let's go... - Febo! - Sorry to meet you here. We're conducting a study on extreme wounds. We needed test subjects. To learn how to treat battle wounds. These were stray dogs. They would have been killed anyway. Febo... It's not allowed, but I'll put it to sleep. It's a sweet, painless sleep. Why this dreadful silence? We anesthetize them. Don't worry, Mrs. Wyatt, nothing is gonna fall from the ceiling. We eat here every day. It is an honor to have a young American guest with us. Thanks. The U.S. Army has the same stimulating aroma... as a summer rain in the woods. Maybe it's the woods still in you. It's the way the wind blows, I'm sure. It's the only occupation army in the history of Naples... that had the courtesy of knocking on our doors... before coming in. Judging by the ruins I saw, I think we knocked too strongly. That, dear, is an insignificant detail. If one has to lose a war, Mrs Wyatt... it is better to be conquered by an army... that has good manners, believe me. The Duchess is still recovering... from the Barbarian's raid into Imperial Rome. I'm not old enough to... remember that event. but trust me: the poor and the noble... lose every war since then... regardless of flag... And women... Women have no flag. The real Italian flag does not show three colors... but the male organ. Moral, Homor, Family... the cult of religion, are there, in between the legs. - My God! - I disagree... A little exaggerated. There's only one flag... this one. But that is from Savoia. Listen. American airplane. I think it is German. And why the US don't fight back? The Americans are asleep. They rise early. I heard another noise before. Listen. There's people at the stairs. - Let them in. - Ok. Easy. Slow. Come in. She was taken by God. Let's go out. Nunziatina, Carmela, stay here. Bring what's needed. Quick. Let's go into the other room. No, I'd rather stay. The hair brush, please. Brush her hair. Carmela, take the dress off. Let's hear the news. Turn on the radio. Yes, Prince. The Duchess is calling. Sirs, please follow me. We are being summoned. Hare is the Armed Forces radio... We interrupt our program for an important report. Mount Vesuvius' sismograph has registered... a sudden rise in volcanic activity. All commanding officers must report to their bases... for further instructions. I repeat, all commanding officers must... report to their bases. This night, seeing those unhappy people... I have a confession to make. It isn't easy. Another time? Don't be afraid, we're in Italy. It was in Italy that confession was born. I haven't been honest, Captain. I wasn't honest. I'm not here to help the civilian population. No, in no way. I'm here to help Senator Wyatt... The President of the USA, the WAC... No, that's a lie too. I'm here for myself. For me, myself, I! How? I don't know. To have my picture in the papers... Be the first in Rome... Damn it, Malaparte, take me to Capri. You're laughing at me! I can't believe it, you're laughing at me! No, no, I'm laughing at myself. It's incredible. The destruction, hunger, violence... All that for a photo in the papers. You ignorant son of a bitch! I hate your attitude, you latin snob! Know-it-all! All of you! Back! Pervert! Pig! Dirty gigolos! Imbecile, imbecile! And you're laughing at me? You can stick your flag right between your legs, in your ass! One catastrophe after another. Get out, get out! It's unbelievable! What a disgrace. Listen, if you take me to the airport, I'll pay. Stop! Stop! I'll give you US$50 to take me to the airport. Get in. What's happening? What's this? The Vesuvius. You gotta leave quick! Where to? This is my home! No, it is dangerous! You have to leave! Jimmy! Come, come! DO you hear me, Colonel? I want all men of the 5th... shaved and in full uniform helping the civilians. Avoiding panic, putting out fires... I want them to swallow lava, if need be. And I want it all documented! Did you hear me? Films, photos, radio, the whole operation! You may leave! They're everywhere in Naples. Impossible not to find. They said that the Vesuvius hadn't had an eruption in 50 years. This is historic! Right, Bob... Right, boys. Here, in San Sebastiano... at the basis of the volcano. All vehicles on duty now! What are the orders? All land and air crews at work... in civilian rescue, madam! Aren't you afraid? Fear... the only thing I'm afraid of is human stupidity. Because, unlike everything in the world, it knows no bounds. How men can be idiots. Is this the end of the world? What is this? Don't be afraid, it's nothing. I told you. Oh my God! It's horrible! It's hell breaking loose! I'll close that door. Close it! Vesuvius is an idiot. Not Vesuvius, you are the idiot for saying that. - Turn on the light. - OK. Don't blaspheme. Vesuvius is God. - Remember. - Let there be light. And God wanted that we, despite it all, ate a plate of spaghetti. Maria? Maria? Maria? Come with me... Yes. Stop, stop here. Hey, have you seen Mrs. Wyatt? They're all in rescue duty! Hello, tiger... Come here, come. Come, closer. I've been expecting you. Come make love. Come, come. Let's make love, come on. Flight #3, Flight #3, I'm having trouble. I'll land. Dammit! come on, get in the truck quick! Come on! Easy, easy, there's space for everybody! Quick! women and children first! To the left, left! - They're not animals! - Are you American? - Listen, Sgt... - You better get in. I'll wait for the next. There are no more trucks, Madam. We won't be back for quite a while. - But you told them! - Do as you wish. We're leaving! You know, grappa? I could use some now. Hey, stop! Stop! Hello, gorgeous, wanna ride with us? A blonde! Lets have a look! - Not bad... - Not bad, really. - Are you blonde all over? Ask her if she wants some candy to suck on. How about 8 inches of sugar cane? I'll take care of that. What's your name? She's pretty. Hey, easy, easy! Right in the nuts! Bitch, you asked for it... Hey, Tom, looks like she's not your kind, dude. Stop the truck and get your paws off her! You better let her go, he means it. Stop the damn truck! You slut! Slut! It's over! It's over! It's over! It's over! It's over! It's over! It's over! It's over! It's over! It's over! - Jimmy! - Goldberg! - I was worried about you. - I couldn't find you! I missed the jeep, so... I got laid! It was fantastic, Jimmy... This is Zelmira, a goddess! That's Maria Concetta. Bring the gurney here. She needs a transfusion. Take her to the ambulance right away. Deborah? Deborah? Doctor, come here, please. She's hurt. Do something for her. I've already examined her. She's just lightly hurt. She's in shock. I have more urgent cases to attend. Deborah, come. Can you walk? - I wanna go home... - I know. - I want out of here. - Sure... - Are we even now? - Yes, totally. I don't want this here. Take it to the road. 1st Platoon, up! Everybody in the truck! Ok, men, we're going? Everybody. Hey you, what are you doing? The picnic is over! Hurry! Are you asleep? Move, you are the 5th Army! I want to be proud of you, men. Lets move! Come, this is a page of history. Come on, move! Get up! Let's go, it's just a short trip to Rome. Yes, Sgt, your platoon too. Let's go! The 5th Army marches over Rome. You take Cap. Malaparte and Cap. Wren. Captain, it seems we've made it without the queen of the skies. - What happened? - She went back to the USA. Malaparte, you're a genius. Is this my transport, Colonel? Yes, General, take your seat here. Gen. Howes, sit on the other side. Cap. Malaparte, there's your jeep. You too, Cap. Wren. And you, General, there's your jeep. Well, Sir, that's it. Good job, Colonel. General, I'd like to shake your hand. Sic iter ad astra! What? That's the way to the stars. Well, let's go. Tempus fugit! Yes, Sir! This is a page in history. Is Rome really like this? Yes, that's 'the' Rome. I always thought it was a city. Hey, Pastor, do you know that... some of these ruins are well over 2000 years old? Yes, but in Philly we have the Liberty Bell. Malaparte, tomorrow I'll see the Pope. There's one thing I want to know: What is his favorite sport? I don't know. But maybe he plays baseball. Very good! Cameras, move forward! You know, there's something sad about victory. Each goes his own way and nobody knows... when we'll meet again. Sometimes, when they do know, they hide. Not us, I hope. Let's set a date to meet... after the war in Capri. You know, it's all set between Maria Concetta and I. She goes to Cleveland with me. We'll go to Capri first. You don't believe me, do you? I believe you, Jimmy. No, you don't believe me. You'll see, I'll be back... - Malaparte! - General! What are those monuments over there? Tombs. Tombs of ancient Rome nobility. Whose? That's General Silla's. That's Cicerus'. That's Julius Caesar's. - Julius Caesar? - Yes. And that one? General, that's the prostitutes HQ... Prostitutes? Don't tell that to the press. Idiot Germans! Screw you! Hey, Malaparte, what is going on? She thinks we're Germans. Well, tell the girl we're American. Americani! Americani! Americani? Hey, easy, lady. Thank you, thank you... Bob, that Rome sign... I'd like to keep it for my collection. This one will be good, will be good. Horray for the Americans! Marco, look! It's the Americans. Our liberators! Look! Son! My son, my son! Take the civilians away! Take them away! No civilians, no civilians! Get back! Back away, back away! Stop, stop! Don't shoot! 5th Army Cameras! 5th Army Cameras! Turn that... thing. Oh my! General, there was a small accident but we'll go on. Continue. We better go now. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry, we better leave. The ambulance is on its way. You can go, Jimmy. You are the winners. -What's the matter? -A transfer instability. It may be only temporary. Something's wrong. Yes, you're right. It's getting smaller. -Can't you do something? -I don't understand. I don't understand. But the Doctor's in there! -It's your codes that are doing this. -This is unheard of. -Well, how do we get him out of this? -A fault in the computation. But there must be something you can do to put him right. Take the machine to the Central Register. What're you going to do with it? The Central Register, quickly. There may still be time. The honour of Logopolis is at stake. Must dematerialise. Dematerialise. Nothing working. Nothing. Will he be all right, Monitor? -If we can trace the error in time. At last, Doctor. At last I've cut you down to size. Hold on, Doctor, the Monitor is going to help you. What's he doing? The fault is in the dimensioning routine. We can trace it, if there's time. Well, can I help? Perhaps you can. This is the machine code of the section that contains the error. I must check the external registers. Read it to me as we go. It is a copy of an Earth machine, so I'm afraid we have to make do with their clumsy symbols. The Doctor taught me to read Earth numbers. -Where are you off to? There's work to be done. -We're doing it. "A-0. "0-A. "4-A. "9-2. "2-C. "A-0. "3-0." I'm sorry, I thought we had found something. It's somewhere in the subroutine, somewhere. Monitor, I still don't see why you need all these people. Why can't it all be done on machinery? For many uses machinery is unsurpassed, but Logopolis is not interested in such uses. Block transfer computation cannot be done with the computers. -Why not? -Our manipulation of numbers directly changes the physical world. There is no other mathematics like ours. You mean the computations themselves would affect a computer? Of course. Change its nature, cause it to malfunction. Only the living brain is immune. But you had a computer out there, you were using it. To record the code, yes, to prepare new algorithms, yes, but we must not use it to run our program. Now, we had reached 0-4, 0-7, A-0, 3-0, 3-8. There are no errors in the registers. We must search the streets. -Sonic projectors. -What are they for? They must be creating a temporary zone of stasis around the Tardis. -But I don't really understand their science. -That goes double for me. Fourth block begins. "A-3. -"F-8..." -E-8. -Sorry, E-8. -It is difficult, I know. But accuracy is of a vital importance. "3-3." You can tell they're exploited. -These people are scientists. -So? I've seen that look of dedication on my father's face. Well, it doesn't seem to be doing any good, does it? At least the dimensions are stabilised. "8-9. "9-A. -"E-7..." -E-9. Sorry, E-9. "2-3..." Wait! Wait! Did you say E-9? Look, it says E-7 there. You're right. And the next three numbers are wrong. This way. The Tardis isn't much use to anybody that size, stable or not. -It gives us time. -Time to do what? We don't even know if he's alive in there. They've arrested the dimension spiral. Things are looking up. This is the street. The error should be somewhere here. -Sabotage. -Murder. Interfering with the working of Logopolis. The most dangerous crime in the universe. An error in the dimension subroutine. Somewhere here. I will not be beaten. I simply will not be beaten. But I could certainly do with a little more help from outside. We must return to the Central Register, quickly. The Monitor's done it. He's found the error. The Doctor must reprogram block 4 of the dimensioning routine. Those numbers are the ones that have to be changed. -If I show this to him, will he know what to do? -Yes. Leave it to me. Adric. -The Master's out here somewhere. -I came here to find the Master. -No. -I must know what's happened to my father. -This could be very dangerous. -I'm coming with you. "The cheese board is the world, "and the pieces the phenomena of the universe," as my old friend Huxley used to say. Cheese board? Chess board. "And the opponent makes no allowances for mistakes, "nor makes the smallest concession to ignorance." I'm an ignorant old Doctor. And I've made a mistake. There's only one direction help can come from now. I'll just have to sit here and wait. Ah, yes! Something along those lines. The mark of the Master. He must have added his own voice to the numbers and corrupted the Doctor's code. But he's still here somewhere. -I saw him. He's been following us. -The Master? I think so. Come on! -I hope he's seen it. -I'm sure he has. And with those figures, he will be able to restore the Tardis. It won't take long. Well, while he's sorting that out, perhaps you wouldn't mind explaining something to me. Back home in Brisbane, we call that a sweatshop. This street. Nyssa. Nyssa. Nyssa. Nyssa, my dear. Father. They don't smile, they don't talk to anybody. Their language is the language of numbers. And they have no need to smile. No need to smile? We are a people driven not by individual need but by mathematical necessity. The language of the numbers is as much as we need. Now, it is important that we do not disturb them. But if they don't talk to each other... You've done it! Yes, there does seem to be some positive development. But what is this mission of yours, Father? You're so changed by it. You look younger, but so cold. Logopolis is a cold place. A cold, high place overlooking the universe. It holds a single, great secret, Nyssa, which you and I must discover together. -And the Doctor. The Doctor can help us. -Oh, yes, the Doctor can certainly help us. You must return to him. -Father, I... I don't want to be parted from you. -No need to, my dear. Here, wear this. It will keep us in mind of one another. Remember to tell no one that you've seen me yet. -Monitor? -My dear Doctor. -I can't thank you enough. -There is no need. You, too, Tegan. You, too. -Where are the others? -Adric and Nyssa went to look for the Master. What? They should know better than that. There's been enough unnecessary deaths as it is. -What deaths? -The murder of innocent Logopolitans. And the murder of innocent Earth people. -Earth people? -Yes. -Aunty Vanessa? -Yes. I'm so sorry, Tegan. I'm so sorry. The Master is already at work on Logopolis. I'm going to stop him if it's the last thing I do. Nyssa! -Did you find him? -No. We'd better go back to the Doctor. -Where did you get that? -It's too small for me. -What is it? -It's a present. -I've been trying to get it off. -Who from? -I hope you haven't broken it. -Nyssa. Adric, Nyssa, come on. Doctor! I don't want you two chasing after the Master independently. You, Adric, should know how dangerous he is. -That's the man who brought me from Traken. -Yes. He said he was a friend of yours. -But he's the man on the bridge. -Yes. -You said to be prepared for the worst. -Indeed I did, and I am prepared for the worst. Why are you prepared for the worst, Doctor? Because he's here. Please remain where you are. I have it in my power to bring Logopolis to a complete halt. There's much more to this block transfer computation than we thought. Yes, that's how they built a replica of the Pharos Project. Yes, yes, but why? Hmm? Why build a replica of the Pharos Project? Central Register. Listen. -I don't... -Shh! - I can't hear anything. -Quiet. Logopolis has stopped. And I was vain enough to think it was me he was after. Logopolis is his target. Turn that machine off. You have no idea what you're doing. Merely emitting a sound-cancelling wave, Monitor. Logopolis is now temporarily suspended. The silence gives us an opportunity to discuss its future. There will be no future. You are eroding structure, generating entropy. An absurd assertion. I know the power of this device down to the last decibel. But you do not know Logopolis! But I shall, shan't I? When you tell me of the secret work you're doing here. I cannot tell you. Why have you created a copy of the Pharos Project? Hmm, the time has come for you to share your secret with me. No! No one must know. That has been our firm decision. Very well, we'll wait until you change it. Patience is a particular virtue of mine. Father. That's not your father. Tremas is dead, murdered by him, the Master. Nyssa. You killed my father? But his body remains useful. -Without it, I could not have conquered Logopolis. -This is not conquest. It's devastation. It's nothing more than a blanket of silence. Which is killing the Logopolitans and turning them to dust. -You expect me to believe that? -Yes! You are destroying everything. It may already be too late. You exaggerate, Monitor. Logopolis is not the universe. But it is! Logopolis is the keystone. If you destroy Logopolis, you unravel the whole causal nexus. Causal nexus? You insult my intelligence. You're interfering with the law of cause and effect. Nyssa, Nyssa, let go. That is a demonstration of the causal nexus. You revolting man! The electro-muscular constrictor gives me complete control over that hand. Please replace the screen. I wouldn't take orders from you if you were the last man in the universe. Very well, one of your young friends will eliminate the other. You understand. Logopolis is crucial to the whole of creation. This could mean the end of the universe. I've never been persuaded by hyperbole, Doctor. Then come into the streets and see what's happening. No need for that. I can demonstrate the continued functioning of Logopolis from here. This device only creates temporary silence and can be switched off. You will hear nothing. Local disruption of structure is now irreversible. Logopolis is dead. They've done this deliberately. You've done this deliberately to deprive me of my prize! Nothing is solid now. Entropy has taken over. What's he done? Everything began to waste away when he interfered. But why? -The numbers were supporting the whole system. -I don't believe it. My biomechanism's untouched. -The degradation is random. -No, Monitor. This is some crude defence mechanism. A device to delude me. Come, Nyssa. No. The entropy you released is eroding your systems, too. Entropy absurd. The power is weak. Some freak interference. -Increase the power. -More power would simply speed the collapse. Don't. From this point, the unravelling will spread out until the whole universe is reduced to nothing. So it's true. Yes, Doctor, you were right. Our numbers were holding the fabric of the universe together. But how? Surely in a closed system like the universe, entropy is bound to increase. Certainly. The universe long ago passed the point of total collapse. -Passed the point? -If it had remained closed. But we have the means to postpone the time. So that's why you adapted the Pharos Project. Yes. We opened the system by creating voids into other universes. -The Charged Vacuum Emboitments. -We passed through one of your voids, Monitor. It all depended on our continual endeavours. A temporary solution, while the advanced research unit worked on a more permanent plan. But nothing will come of that now. Our labour's wasted. The voids will be closing. There must be something we can do. This will teach you to meddle in things you don't understand! We are beyond recriminations now. Beyond everything. Not quite. We must pool our resources. -The creature that killed my father... -I can't choose the company I keep! -An alliance with you, Doctor? -In the circumstances, yes. If we do cooperate, there'll be no question of you ever returning to Gallifrey. If we don't cooperate, there'll be no question of Gallifrey. -Doctor, what are you doing? -Please. As Time Lords, you and I have special responsibilities. -Together, then? -But, Doctor... I've never chosen my own company. Nyssa, it was you who contacted me and begged me to help you find your father. And, Tegan, it's your own curiosity that got you into this. And Adric, a stowaway. -The Tardis! -It's followed us from the Central Register. -How can it get here when there's no one in it? -Did I say there was no one in it? It must be the man who brought me to Logopolis... I don't want any further argument. One, two, three of you into the Tardis. Quickly. Go on. -Look, we want to help you... -It's impossible. My friend in there will look after you. I'm collaborating with the Master. Now, go on. -Battle stations. -The man's a murderer. Come on, Nyssa, he means it. -Together? -One last hope. So far, nothing but jungle: How about you, Wilma? Picking up anything on infrascan? Negative, Buck: Just appears to be another out-of-the-way planet that time forgot: Uh, shouldn't Dr: Goodfellow have some information for us by now? I'll check: Searcher, this is Captain Rogers: You got anything for us yet? Over: [Man] Admiral, Captain Rogers requesting communication: Thank you, Parsons: Put Captain Rogers on the vid-screen: [Asimov] Dr: Goodfellow has just completed his review of that ancient star chart: Ah, yes, dear boy: I'll tell you something: I got into the chart here: The planet you're now surveying was once inhabited: : : By a highly advanced race known as the Goral: The Goral were indigenous to that planet: That is, until they left their world in a strange mass exodus: Oh, it must've been 10,000 years ago: - Does that planet have a name? - A name? I should say it has, Buck: It's called Vor-Deeth: D-double E-T-H: Vor-Deeth? That's right: Crichton was good enough to translate it for me: Apparently, it means "Planet of Death:" Oh, terrific: You got any other cheery information for us? Buck: Hold on, Doctor: We got some visual contact: Looks like some kind of ruins: Ruins, did you say? Ooh! Splendid! Positively splendid, Buck: Now, I'll tell you what: Go down: For heaven's sake, go down, take a look, won't you? Yes: It's entirely possible that the Goral... [Wilma] Buck? My photon sensor registers an energy reading: It's got to mean that a fusion-powered ship is nearby: We've got visual contact on it, Wilma: Searcher, we got a wrecked ship below: We're going down: All right, Buck, but be cautious: The name of that planet doesn't exactly fill me with confidence: Don't worry, Admiral, we will: Rogers out: It's pretty badly banged up: Took some fancy flying to set this thing down in a clearing this size: I'll say: It's an E: D: S: -104: Hello! Is anybody here? By Gideon's trumpet, a human voice! I never thought anyone would show up: I heard your engines, but I thought it was a flyby: The name's Reardon: I fly interplanetary: Quadrant 8: I've been here nearly three weeks: We'd better get you aboard the Searcher: We can't do anything for you down here: Let's take him to my starfighter: I'll take him upstairs, and that way, you two can finish the survey: Okay: Thank you very much: It's very kind of you: I'd about given up hope: All you all right, Mr: Reardon? Fine, thanks: Let's take a look at those ruins while we still got some light left, all right? [Hawk] The ship: [Buck] It's gone: Vanished: Perhaps we have mistakenly come to another clearing: No, this is the right clearing, all right: There's no doubt about that: Everything is gone... the ship, the shelter, the campfire, everything: Vanished: [Man Narrating] In the year 1987, NASA launched the last of America's deep space probes: Aboard this compact starship, a lone astronaut, Captain William "Buck'"Rogers, was to experience cosmic forces beyond all comprehension: In a freak mishap, his life-support systems were frozen: : : By temperatures beyond imagination: Ranger 3 was blown out of its planned trajectory: : : Into an orbit 1,000 times more vast, an orbit which was to return Buck Rogers to Earth: : : 500 years later: What could possibly have caused Reardon's shuttle to disappear? I don't know: Maybe we'll find out further on: Wait a minute: Listen: There's not a sound: Not an animal, not a bird: Nothing: Not even the wind: It is as though the planet were keeping quiet: : : Better to listen to us: It is astounding: Ten thousand years old: Must have been quite a place in its heyday: I wonder why they left: Perhaps a plague: Could be: Wait a minute: What's that over there? A religious symbol? [Buck] Well, they could be: These markings remind me of Egyptian hieroglyphics: I'm gonna holograph this for Dr: Goodfellow: He can tell us what these hieroglyphics are saying: Buck: What? Over there: Looks like it might have been a temple at one time: I will see: [Beeping] Hawk! Buck! It looked... I thought you disappeared: The same thing happened to you, Buck: It's obvious that there are forces at work here that we don't understand: Remember, it is called the "Planet of Death:" I think we better head back up to the Searcher and have a little chat with Reardon: He said he's been down here for three weeks: Maybe he can give us some clue as to what to expect down here: Attention! I am well aware that calling a ship's assembly like this is most unusual: But then most unusual problems demand unusual remedies: It has come to my attention: : : That certain members of this crew: : : Have engaged in disloyal... No: Let me amend that... in treacherous activities! Well, let me assure you of one thing, ladies and gentlemen: Those of you have engaged in these treasonous schemes: : : Will be exposed and punished: In the past, I've used a light hand, allowing all to have their say: Oh, yes: Quite often, I've simply smiled away my disagreements: But now, with certain opinions manifesting themselves into devious actions, I am taking a firm control on the helm! Chief Petty Officer Cowan, front and center:! Sir! Wilma, what in the devil's going on down there? It's been like this since I got back: The admiral is convinced that some of the crew are plotting a mutiny: What? That's impossible: Did you or did you not have the conn at 0800 hours today? Yes, sir, I did: And isn't it true that this ship deviated from its course by a factor of three degrees: : : For almost one full minute during that time? Sir, there was a minor malfunction in the plasma gyros: We had it corrected in no time and resumed our proper course: It was all routine: I'll tell you what's routine, mister! You steered this ship from her true course: : : In a deliberate attempt to sabotage our mission: Sabotage? That's enough out of you, Cowan:! Lieutenant Parsons! Yes, sir: Take charge of the prisoner: Chief Petty Officer Cowan is to remain under close arrest in the brig: : : Until further word from me:! Yes, sir: I don't believe this is happening: Cowan is completely trustworthy: He wouldn't sabotage the ship: Take him away: The admiral must be losing his mind: Parsons is acting like some kind of two-bit tyrant: It's totally unlike him: But what could be responsible for such a bizarre transformation? I don't know: It's hard to say: But we came back to see if Reardon had anything useful he could tell us: I still think that's the best place to start: Let's go: [Asimov] Don't think for a moment that you can lie to me and get away with it: Mr: Miller, I have reason to believe: : : That you have conspired to tamper with the fusion drive of this ship: Now, if my suspicions are sustained, I won't wait for a formal hearing: I'll have you summarily executed: Guards, take him away:! Why, good afternoon, Captain Rogers, Hawk: I trust your excursion to Vor-Deeth was a pleasant one: Crichton, I can't believe this: You're actually being courteous today? But why shouldn't I be, sir? After all, a robot owes his human masters every measure of respect: [Chuckles] You mean you are acknowledging that we are your masters? You created us, did you not? - How about you, Twiki? - What do you mean, how about me? Are we playing guessing games? Twiki, are you all right? What do you care? What do any of you care? Since when have you humans been overly concerned about how I feel? All I am is a mechanical servant: Now if you'll excuse me, I've been summoned to the bridge: The admiral probably expects me to fix him a cup of tea: : : Or something equally important: Ha! I don't know what they want me to do: Always asking me to do something: Have a most pleasant day: [Twiki] Twiki do this, Twiki, do that: It's discrimination, if you ask me: I think they're both out of their heads: Incredible: Their personalities are completely transformed: Yeah, I think we better get to that sick bay as quickly as possible: No, Captain, I can't say I'm surprised at any of it: And what you're telling me about my ship disappearing: : : Is nothing compared to some of the strange things I saw on that blasted planet: What sort of things? - Well, ghosts for one thing: - Ghosts? That's the only thing I can think of to call them: Unless you want to say "visions:" But that seems like splitting hairs, if you ask me: Things would... Things would appear and disappear: Even the sun seemed to come up from a different direction each morning: I tell you: The planet is cursed: And if you ask me, that's what's causing the strange behavior you've been seeing here in your ship: Are you suggesting that that planet exerts a supernatural force: : : That causes people to see things and to behave strangely? Colonel, I don't know if you'd call it supernatural or not: But a force, there is: That much I'll swear to: I think we better go talk to Dr: Goodfellow: It all seems to be working all right: That we know is off: Let's have a look here: Dr: Goodfellow: Yeah? Oh, it's you, Buck: Yes, nice to see you and Colonel Deering: You're looking awfully busy, Doctor: I'm conducting tests in an effort to account for some of the extraordinary behavior: : : That's been occurring aboard the ship: Then you've also noticed the people acting strangely: I have a feeling that there's something about that planet: A magnetic field, perhaps: Something like that interferes with the normal processes of the human brain: Yes, well, we came up with a similar hypothesis, Doctor: Unfortunately, I think you should know that Crichton has also been affected: - Crichton affected? That's impossible: - But it's true, Doctor: Apparently robots are not immune to whatever's causing the strange behavior: Do I have to remind you, my dear boy, that Crichton is my own creation: I made him: I constructed him: He's utterly impervious to any sort of magnetic interference: - Buck wasn't questioning any of your... - Wasn't he, indeed! It may be that I know little about piloting spacecraft: : : Or tramping about other people's planets: This is where I commune with elemental forces of nature: : : And seek to uncover the mysteries of creation: Now if you'll excuse me, I'll finish my work: [Sighs] I must continue my efforts to probe the secrets of Vor-Deeth: It is obvious the doctor will be of little help to us: Yeah: He's as flaky as the admiral, which puts us back to square one: [Wilma] Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Go back to Vor-Deeth, find out what it is on that planet: : : That's affecting this ship? Exactly: I'm sorry, Captain Rogers: This part of the ship has been sealed off: Admiral's orders: Yes, well, we're not exactly sure that the admiral is in complete control of his faculties, so if you'll just... If you come any further, I'm gonna have to use this, sir: Huh: Cowan, what are you doing out of the brig? Let's go: What's the meaning of this? Drop the weapon, Hawk: Drop it this instant: Now, what happened here, James? Captain Rogers refused to obey my order to halt, sir: I told him you'd ordered this part of the ship sealed off: Do you have an explanation, Captain, for deliberate disobedience to one of my orders? Admiral, somewhere down on that planet... I see: Apparently, whatever is causing the mutinous behavior amongst the crew: : : Has affected you as well, Captain, and both of you: Disarm them: Escort them to Captain Rogers's cabin: See that they remain there until further orders: We could have overcome the guards: I know: I thought about that myself: I just thought we needed some time to decide: Buck, what is it? Your cabins and mine, they're identical, aren't they? Yes, except for the furnishings: I see it: Yes: The viewport is off center: The viewport's changed, but take a look outside: Our orbit has changed: - The Omega quadrant is no longer visible: - Then the ship has moved: I'm not sure what happened, but it was off our port bow before we left to survey Vor-Deeth: It's not there now: I don't know what happened, but... But what would account for the new star reading? I don't think we're on board the real Searcher: Buck, that's just a little hard to believe: Is it? Then how do you account for the fact that the interior has changed? And the fact that all the people on board this ship are acting so totally out of character? What if we're on board a fake? A very clever but nonetheless imperfect fake: But we piloted the shuttle here ourselves, and Wilma flew here in her own ship: Anything clever enough to fabricate a copy of the Searcher: : : Is certainly clever enough to throw our instruments out of adjustment: : : And make us believe we're landing on the real Searcher: If the ship is a fake, what about the people on it? They're fakes as well: Robots, androids: I don't know what they are, but they're fakes: We can't worry about that right now: The first thing we have to do is get out of this room: Yes, but how do we get past the guard? If you gentlemen will go along with it, I think I have an idea: [Wilma Screams] Let me go:! Let go, you... Help me! They're trying to take over the ship! Release her! Stand back! You're under confinement: Well done, Colonel: Hated to do that: Yeah, right: Let's go: Buck, if your hypothesis is correct, is that how we've been tricked, aboard a fake Searcher? If my hypothesis is correct, it's all the more reason for us: : : To find that hangar deck and get out of here: That will not be easy with the admiral, or whoever he is, posting guard: [Asimov On P: A:] Attention, all personnel: Captain Rogers, Colonel Deering and Hawk have violated confinement: Find them: They are not to leave this ship: Use whatever force is necessary: All right: Steady: Let's go: Parsons:! I want some answers, mister, and I want 'em now:! You won't get away: I didn't ask for your opinion: I want to know who you are and what's going on with the ship: [Explosion] It was a duplicate of some kind: Buck! I've never seen anything so horrible: Nothing left but ash: Too incredible to be true: I'm willing to bet every creature on this ship is exactly the same way: We've got to get to the hangar deck, to our ships: I suggest you two stay here: I will see if a way is clear to the hangar deck: Okay: Hey, come on, Wilma, pull out of it: I'm sorry, Buck, for falling apart like that: I guess I was just shocked seeing that... that thing disintegrate: Hey, hey, you all right? I will be: Just being close to you chases the fears away: Just hold me, please: Just hold me close: I'm so frightened: Buck, the engine room is clear of guards: On the real Searcher, there is an access door from there to the hangar deck: Let's hope whoever or whatever duplicated the Searcher included that little detail: You all right? Sure: Okay: Let's keep our fingers crossed: There they are! The emergency access hatch to the launch bay: - An empty chamber! - It's a trap:! Get back:! They were waiting for us: It's almost as if they knew our plans: Maybe they did: What do you mean? Hawk is the one who suggested we try going through the engine room: Isn't it a little suspicious that the guards happened to be waiting for us? You are accusing me? That is absurd: You said yourself that something strange happened to Hawk: : : While the two of you were down on Vor-Deeth: How do you know that the real Hawk wasn't replaced by one of those... those fakes: : : During the time that he seemed to disappear? [Whirring] You cannot possibly believe what you are saying: You are frightened! You bet I'm frightened! You're trying to kill both of us! Wilma, whatever is in your mind... [Man] Right here:! Turn it on:! Move! Move! It's a photon cannon! [Wilma Screams] Wilma! Hawk! Over here, Buck:! Help me:! I'm pinned! [Screams] Buck, the cable! High voltage: I can't move: Help me! - Hawk! - Never mind me: Get to Wilma: [Screams] Help her out of there: That cable touches her, she dies: Buck, please:! Hurry:! Please:! What are you waiting for? - Pull her out of there! - Buck, please:! Hurry:! Pull her out of there:! Help her before it's too late! Buck, please! [Screaming] How can you ignore her? She's... [Explosion] I cannot believe it: Wilma a fake like the others? How did you know? Wilma doesn't frighten easily: She was too upset when she was alone with me and too convinced you were an impostor: Watch your legs: Then it was the: : : Double of Wilma who: : : Somehow let the others know where we were going: We're no closer to finding that hangar deck than we were before: But at least we know where not to look: Let's go: [Parsons] Searcher calling Captain Rogers and Hawk: Searcher calling Captain Rogers and Hawk: Come in, please: Still nothing, sir: And I've tried every voice frequency we've got: This way: Let's try this way: Come on: - The reactor room: - Hangar bay: Hold on: How do you know that that sign means what it says? I understand your caution, but we must take the risk: Hawk, think about it: Nothing has been as it seems: Let's go: Buck, Hawk! Oh, there's no need for that, Hawk: We're on the same side: [Dr: Goodfellow] Yes, of course we're on the same side, Buck, dear boy: Listen, listen to me: You know, you were quite right about the influence of that planet: I was able to synthesize a serum which counteracts its effects: That was good, wasn't it? Yes: Dr: Goodfellow and I have both been immunized, Buck: But we need your help to round up the rest of the crew: : : So that they can be inoculated as well: Nice try, Admiral: If that door does lead to the reactor room, the radiation will kill us: You won't find your way out through there, Rogers: That's the fusion reactor room: You ever hear the one about the lady and the tiger? No: Just as well: [Hawk] The shuttle:! [Buck] We got the lady, not the tiger: Let's hope it's for real: Mr: Reardon, what are you doing down here? This area is off-limits: And I've been looking all over this ship for you: I'm sorry, Colonel: I was just getting bored up there in the sick bay: I thought I'd take myself a little walk: Well, this is the third time you've decided to take a little walk, Mr: Reardon: How do you expect that leg to heal if you keep putting your weight on it? I really didn't think I'd hurt it any: Well, come along before Dr: Goodfellow finds out you've been playing hooky again: Whatever you say, Colonel: [Hawk] Do you think they will attempt to pursue us? That's hard to tell, Hawk: No telling what capabilities that fake Searcher has: But if they do... Buck! Look: It disintegrated: Yeah, just like the fake people who were on board it: Any word yet? No: Nothing: Sir, what do you make of this? The photon energy reading's practically off the scope: Admiral, I realize I have not been asked, but my sensors indicate: : : That we have been locked into a snare beam: What? It's true, sir: Instruments show us firmly held by a magnetic force 10: I don't see how that's possible: Except for Reardon, there was no sign of life on Vor-Deeth: Possible or not, it's happening: We're being held prisoner: : : By something: Searcher, this is Captain Rogers: Do you read me? Over: Searcher, this is Captain Rogers: Do you read me? Over: Captain Rogers, Admiral: I knew Buck would be okay: Buck, where are you? We're on our way back, Admiral: We... We had a little detour: You mustn't return to the ship: We've been caught in a snare beam emanating from somewhere on the surface of Vor-Deeth: We're helpless, Buck: If you come back, you'll be trapped with us: More trouble from Vor-Deeth: Yeah: Five will get you 10 that whatever fabricated that fake Searcher: : : Is also behind that snare beam: Admiral, we're going down to Vor-Deeth, try to find the source of that beam: Good idea: Good luck: Searcher out: According to the coordinates of the tractor beam, it should be somewhere around here: Buck: What? The temple: I might've known: Let's go: It's hard to see: I sense a presence: Yeah, like before: We're being watched: Enter, masters! Enter, masters:! You have done brilliantly so far: You have passed all the tests but one: Do not be afraid: You're on the brink of securing rewards: : : Beyond your wildest dreams: - Who are you? - At the moment, I am what you see: A gray-bearded old man stooped with age: : : And bent with a burden of 10,000 lonely years: Why are you holding our ship in a snare beam? Because: : : [Chuckles] There is one more test for you to pass: If you succeed, all will be as you wish: If you fail, you, your ship: : : And all in it will be destroyed: Are you telling us that everything we went through up there, being misdirected to a fake ship, meeting fake people who resembled our own friends and shipmates: : : Was just part of a series of tests? Precisely: And you are the first visitors in 10,000 years: : : To have survived to this point: You have my deepest admiration, friends, for the tests the Goral has devised are difficult, are they not? You have no right to hold a peaceful vessel and its crew: : : In order to play some silly game: Release our ship: Impossible: Until you have met the final challenge: But why? Why do you subject people to such trials? Who are you? I am: : : The Hand of the Goral: Their servant, if you wish: They left me here many eons ago: : : To protect their planet from intruders: : : Until the day they returned: I am a simulacrum, fashioned like the others you encountered, fashioned from a substance partly energy, partly matter, and able to become anything that is wished: Anything: [Chuckles] You have done well so far: You have demonstrated your intelligence and suitability for remaining on this planet: : : And soon may take your place here in this paradise: : : As my masters: So you've fulfilled this role of guarding this planet for over 10,000 years? Ten thousand years is but a grain of sand: : : In the hourglass of eternity: I fulfill my role gladly, for it is an honor to serve the Goral: : : And you: I can provide you with palaces and pleasure domes, with armies and slaves, with concubines and viands from a dozen galaxies: In short, I can gratify your very dream, your wildest wish: : : And answers to questions as yet unborn: Fine: Then our first wish is that you release our ship so we can get away from here: Master, I regret that is the only wish I cannot grant: The life of your ship is in your hands, not in mine: What do you mean? The instrument for your ship's destruction has already been placed aboard her: : : And by a member of your own crew: [Laughs] Discover him in time, and you will have won all: Reardon: The man we picked up here was a fake, wasn't he? And Wilma... the real Wilma... took him on board the Searcher: And it was he who was able to tell this creature how to duplicate our ship: [Laughs] You are indeed worthy of admittance to my masters' planet! Such intuition is a rare thing: We are sick and tired of playing your stupid game, old man: I want some answers from you, and I want them now! How is Reardon going to destroy the ship? How's he gonna do it? Oh, perhaps not so intelligent after all: Anger and violence do not provide solutions: Tell me, old man: I overestimated you: [Clicking Tongue] What a pity: [Explosion] Gone like the others: We gotta get back to the ship: Searcher, this is Captain Rogers: Do you read me? Over: Yes, Buck: What have you found? We're returning to the ship, Admiral: You've got a saboteur on board: It's Reardon: He's an impostor, a fake: We were tricked into taking him on board the Searcher so he could destroy it: You've got to find him and stop him: Where is he? He should be in sick bay, unless he's taking another one of his little walks: Sick bay, this is Colonel Deering on the bridge: Is Mr: Reardon there? [Man] He should be, Colonel: Just a minute: That's funny: He was here a minute ago, but now he's gone: I'd better get down there: Let's organize search teams to scour the ship: Good: Buck, Reardon's disappeared: We're starting a search now: How long before you're back? We're on final approach now, Admiral: Buck, we have teams out searching the entire ship, but still no sign of Reardon: The fusion reactor room: It's the most sensitive part of the ship: No sign of Reardon anywhere: We think he's in the reactor room: Come on: Well, we know someone's inside: The green light's on: - Captain Rogers: - Lieutenant Parsons: Good to have you back, sir: I've checked the reactor room for any sign of Reardon, as Colonel Deering ordered: The place is clean: Did you check the reactors for any unusual devices? Yes, sir: Swept them with the magnetometer: Everything's normal: Looks like your hunch was wrong: Yeah, yeah: Well, thank you, Parsons: You better stay here and keep an eye on things: Yes, sir: Let's go: Where to now? I don't know: Looks like we struck a dead end: Colonel Deering: Captain Rogers:! I just searched the supply room: It was Reardon: He changed himself to look like Parsons: It's locked: Stand back: Reardon, we know you're in here: You might as well show yourself and surrender: Hawk, you see anything? Nothing, Buck: It appears as though Reardon has left the reactor room: - But how? - Perhaps through another door: What do you mean, another door? You know as well as I do there's only one way out of this reactor room: Buck? Where's that detonator? Where is that detonator? Such a pity: You will leave: Ten thousand years is a long and lonely vigil: : : Without company: [Explosion] [Hawk] I found it: Attached to reactor number four: It is harmless now: Yeah, just like our friend there: It is a pity, in a way: After 10,000 years of waiting, he has failed: Yeah: Lucky for us he did: Buck, how did you know it wasn't Wilma? That must have been a terrible moment not knowing who to save: Well, there was a difference: A wrongness, if you will: [Chirping] A wrongness about Wilma? Never! What exactly do you mean, Buck, a wrongness? Call it instinct, Doctor: For instance, your double was a caricature of your normal self: The mad scientist, so to speak: And you, Admiral, your double was cruel and inhuman like a Captain Bligh: But what about the fake Wilma? What was the so-called wrongness about her? Yes, Buck, what was the imitation Wilma like? Well, she was so different and so opposite to the way you really are: : : That I really felt that she or... well, you or whatever... had lost her mind: Well, how was she opposite? She was warm and friendly and affectionate: You... [Giggling] - Oh, my poor boy! - Why do you say that, Doctor? Well, it just occurred to me: You must be under tremendous emotional strain: Strain? No: Why? Because when that simulacrum of Wilma was destroyed, well, you lost the Goral of your dreams, didn't you? The Goral of your dreams! You lost her! [All Groaning And Laughing] All Things Pass Darling. Darling. Dorien. This isn't possible, guys. If only it had been a few days later. Now we've been liberated. Even if it's the last thing I'll do, Niels is a dead man. We'll get that bloody fascist. No matter how. We can never forget this. We owe it to Arie. I won't turn in my weapon. Never. Will you take the garbage bags out? -Yes, darling. It's not easy is it, old man? But I did keep up with you! Fucking Kraut! What was that? Fucking Kraut. Idiot! Only for buses, sir. -I'll be right back. No access for normal cars, sir. Don't be a nag. There's plenty of space. Only buses. Drop dead, asshole. Yes, one more for my husband. Everything will be ready when you come back. Stop! Take him away! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! I won't turn in my weapon. Never. Check if we have these people in the computer. If not, ask who we do have. Just the addresses. Is it urgent? -A matter of life and death. I'll be gone all afternoon. The money. Here, fifty thousand. Take it. I already bought jenever on the black market. From your money. Arie. Untie him. Let's drink a glass. Rich! Rich! We're rich! Who said war serves no purpose? Well? Well? We're going. Good luck with your money. Stop! First pick up the money. Pick it up! He looks like a dog. Then he should bark as well. Bark! I don't bark. I'm counting to three. I'll get you after the war, rotten traitor. Bark. One... -It won't be long. Hitler's dead. The Russians are in Berlin. Bark. Two. We'll get you. It's matter of days. Bark. Three! You're dead after the war. Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Can you sign this? Those are the addresses you requested. I added the telephone numbers. Was it hard? -No. Just that woman. There's a gap of a few years. America or something. Oh and one is in hospital. Some kind of rest cure. Yes. If it's the last thing I'll do, Niels is a dead man. Hello, Ben. Ab! Did my wife send you? Your wife? No. I happened to be here. You're lying. She tells everybody behind my back that they have to look me up before... What are you saying? Ab! It's been a long time. -More than 20 years. Make yourself at home, so we can catch up. What will you drink? -Mineral water. Mineral water? -Yes, I'm trying to stay fit. Sports and stuff. You're quite comfortable here. Yes. I'm not an ambulant patient, but a drinking patient. Keep it that way. Thank you. -There's nothing wrong with me. I came her on my own initiative. I worked hard lately. No holiday in three years. That's how it goes when you own a big business. Cheers. -Cheers. My wife and I were going to go on a cruise. For our 25th wedding anniversary. I was at your wedding, remember? -Yes. But I didn't feel well. My wife told me to see a specialist before we went on the cruise. A ship's doctor only knows about sailors' dicks. Yes, indeed. I'll add something after all. -Of course. What did they say here? All good. A young God with pure blood in his jenever vessels. I can go home in an hour if I want. It was a false alarm. They just told me. My wife will be so happy. That's good then. Excellent. I'll stay for a few more weeks for the peace and quiet. We'll take the next boat. If you'd been really ill, I wouldn't have told you anything. This is why I'm here. He's in Holland for a week. Good morning, Mr Haverman. Morning, sir. Here you are. Your morning portion. The doctor says you'd better stay in bed. Yes, I understand, nurse. Thank you. Later, after the visitor will have left. Don't be too long. You have to be fit for the cure. Busybody. That's what I'm ripping those assholes of the insurance company off for. 450 guilders a day. -462.50. What? -I work in insurance. Oh, yes. I know where he is. And what he's doing this week. It's Niels for sure. I have to tell you something. It's such an old case. Back then, you swore we'd liquidate him. I'm not well. It's been so long. I've been to the Biesbosch. I can't come along. To kill an old man... Oh yes. You drink too much. You're taking a cure here. That's a drag, ok. But it's no excuse. You're not too sick to shoot, are you? It's your own old gun. Works fine. -Does it? You're right. If we don't do it, who will? They're walking around freely, everywhere. In Spain, South America, Germany. And here. -Exactly. We have to settle this before we die. I'm in. -I expected nothing less. Can I? -I'll wait outside. Dr. Weinberg, come see Mr Haverman. He shot himself through the head. Where's his visitor? -Visitor? Sir! Weren't you just with Mr Haverman? Yes, he asked me to wait outside. What was that sound? Come with me? You were the last one to see him. Did you give him the suicide weapon? -Me? To commit suicide? I'm from the insurance. -That clears you. Our company doesn't provide this service yet. Excuse me. Give me. What was wrong with him? Was he an alcoholic? No, acute leukaemia. He only had a few weeks to live. He was very scared. Scared to tell his wife and afraid of total decay. He couldn't handle the final weeks. That's why. Bang. This isn't possible, guys. If only it had been a few days later. Now we've been liberated. Dorien. Did I age that much? -Ab! I recognized you right away. You didn't change a bit. What a surprise. Come in. Were you working in the garden? -Yes, shall we sit there? I just made tea. -Alright. You're here about Ben, of course. What about Ben? -Ben Haverman. This morning, the newspaper said he had died. Out of the blue, it said. That must have been our Ben. Bronze Lion, ex assault group member, it has to be him. Yes, it's Ben. Oh God. Out of the blue. Was it his heart? Are you going to the cremation? -No, I have to do something else. You? -Well, so many people are dying. Fantastic garden. -Yes, it's my pride and joy. It takes a lot of time. They're beautiful I've never seen them before. Which ones exactly? -The pink ones. I've got those from Israel. The children brought them for me. Nice holiday present. -They live there. Have a seat. Yes, they're three very tough rascals. They participate in every war. Syria, Jordan, Egypt, you name it. They've got that from you. They're real American Jews. Very fanatical. They were born when I lived in Florida with Bram. Don't you know Bram, my husband? -No. You helped him go into hiding. His name was Henk Meyer then. 1m90 and skinny as a rake. I really don't remember him. He was always hungry but he still gave me his distribution coupons. There were so many. He looked me up straight after the war. Then we got married. He'd be kicking me at least once a week during the night. He'd have nightmares about Krauts and camps. When the Cold War started with Berlin and the Russians, it got really bad. He kicked me out of the bed every night. Without being aware of it, the darling. So we went to America. At least, there was an ocean in between. Yes, I heard you left the country. When the children were adults, they went to Israel. We didn't. But we did come back, so we're halfway now. Nowhere at home, but still happy. Very happy. No other news, and you? Do you ever think of Arie? Arie... It's easy to idealize. -Would you have been happier? I am happy. But Arie's no longer there. On Remembrance Day, I sometimes think of what guys like Arie missed out on... after the war. You can never get to grips with that. The asshole who killed him, is still walking around free. If he's still alive. He'd be way over 60 now. You're so quiet. I've nothing else to report. I had to be in the area for work. Insurance. Because I read about Ben in the newspaper, I wanted to see you. Just for sentimental reasons. We'll have to believe you came for me. And not to sell me an insurance policy. -No, for you. But I have to go now or I'll be late for my appointment. Want my arm? Come by when Bram's home. He'd like that. I sure will. Well, by then. Well done. How did you know? -The sun didn't bother you. You didn't blink. I wasn't thinking of that. Was it an accident? -No. My retina suddenly started to come off. It happened within 2 hours. Irreparable. The specialist said it was a reaction to the war. Stress and anxiety. That those bastards are still ruining your life after all these years. The war is like a time bomb for everyone who stuck their neck out. How did you recognize me? You said my name right away. Your voice. It hasn't changed. Like in the past, when you'd brief us before we'd go. I'll visit again soon. Maybe with good news. Whatever you'll do, good luck. The children would say "Mazzel and broche". Ok. Thanks. More chicken and we're also out of orange juice. Ab, come on. -Orange juice. I like to have a full fridge. In case something happens. What happens? -Anything. War. -You and your war. There. -Thank you. Juice. And juice. I called you at the office earlier. -I wasn't there. And you weren't there yesterday or the day before yesterday. That's true. I was away for work. -But they didn't know where you were. Jealous? There's no other woman. At my age. At your age. You keep fit enough. You're sweet. I know you're not cheating on me. I'd notice it in seconds. You would? How? Everything. I know you through and through. Ab. What are you doing? What are you up to? Talk to me. If you don't know, you can't tell. Can't tell? Can't spill the beans, you mean. We can never forget this. We owe it to Arie. Ab! Hello! -Wait a moment. We've not seen each other for so long. Come in. I have to finish something for a party. Before the children come out of the cinema. You're a better grandpa than me. -Yes, but they're not my grandchildren. They're my children. -Oh. Late happiness. I have to continue working or I'll be told off. They love to play bite the cake. And we've got games where they can win prizes. Niels, Arie's Niels. I know where he is and what he's doing. I got the guns. We can finally kill him. After 35 years. I'm out. -What? I don't want to kill anybody anymore. Why so ethical suddenly? -Suddenly? It's taken some time. How many Krauts did you kill in those days? 20, 30? There won't be another one. Every life's precious. -Oh, come on. Once, I was going on holiday with my wife. We had a blowout, an accident. Totally messed up. When I came to, I had so many tubes in my body, I looked like an octopus. And your wife? -Dead. She had already been cremated when I came to. And you married the nurse? A bit of a cliché. -Yes? Well, I've got another one for you. When I was laying in hospital, I thought life had to continue. I'd never wanted to have children, but ten months later... our eldest son was born. Hold this. If you find life so valuable, why not give a murderer what he deserves? For whom? Who asked for this? Arie. -Arie hasn't asked anything. It's us who wanted revenge. -You owe it to your children. They're 6 and 8 years old. How does it benefit them if we kill a 60 year old man? To warn them. When they'll be 30, they'll make their own stupid mistakes. Because we set a bad example. We have to get the ones who weren't caught. And who will we bring back to life again by doing that? Arie? If we don't tell them that murder never pays... they won't learn anything from our war. They don't want to learn from our war. The only thing history teaches us is that we don't learn from it. I want that! -No, me! Let me introduce my wife. This is an old friend of mine. Ab Spoelstra. He suddenly dropped in. I'm Tine. -I'm Ab. So sweet that you've already prepared everything. They love a game of bite the cake. You'll stay here, won't you, Cees? They're counting on you. He's so good with the children. They love him. Sorry, I have to go into the garden. We don't have anything important to discuss, do we? Why don't you come back tonight at 8. They'll be asleep then. Don't I get to wear a hat? You look way too healthy for a 60 year old. I bet you still exercise. -Yes. I think you're afraid of getting old. -That's nonsense. You still live in the past. -Not at all, I look ahead. To tomorrow. -Tomorrow doesn't exist. For you, tomorrow is a repetition of yesterday. That's nonsense. I take my responsibility. Because I've not forgotten everything that's happened. I'm prepared for what's coming. What's that? The next war? It will always be different from the previous one. Useless. We're simply getting old, you and I. But I accept it and you don't. The war was your heyday. And you want that back. I'm out. Then I'll do it alone. Your son? -Yes. He's the birthday boy. He's just like his father. Nice kid. I'm so hungry. Dump your rubbish here. Dump your rubbish here. You can go. We'll make a short tour through the Efteling Park. Finally, we can sit. We'll get that bloody fascist. No matter how. That's only for laughs, mom. What's this? What does Queen Beatrix want with that comedian? One moment, sir. -It's from last week, mom. No, last week's one was about Martine Bijl and that tall man. What's his name? From that comic duo. No, that's Prince Pieter, who can't play the piano because of his hands. Terrible... cancer in your hands. -Yes, terrible. Money can't buy happiness. -No, but it's nice to have. We'll buy this one. Look, Marco Bakker will never sing again! With a record! -We'll play it on the stereo! Fantastic! -We'll get this one too. Anything else? -No, that's enough. That makes 12.75. An elastic band around it? Here's 13. -And 25 cents change. 5 nickels is ok too. -Or 2 dimes and a nickel. Or 25 cents, right Auntie Cor? -I could barely carry that. What can I do for you, sir? The working man isn't interested in the revolution. Must be too expensive. Beautiful books about the revolution that nobody wants to buy. What can I do for you? Hey, a first edition. This is an antiquarian book. It's been here for years. No one will buy it like this. Let alone follow its example. No, they'd rather buy this junk. Rather than Marx and his revolution. Ab. Ab from the assault group. -I thought you'd never recognize me. Yes, I've changed. Hair doesn't grow on brains. It also doesn't grow on sandy soils. Did you want to buy all these books? You could give them to your capitalist friends. They've already got them all. Or else their children. I've come to get you. I found him. Niels. He's in the Netherlands for another day and a half. I got your gun and we're going now. You can't say no. You owe it to Arie. What do you want with him? Have you been sent as a provocateur or something? Bullshit. It's exactly as I say. Niels is in Amsterdam. Put that thing away! You can't be serious. Damn, you're serious. -Of course. No, I'm not doing it. So you risked your life for this mess. I'm selling a lot. -I bet you are. I have to. My son's studying medicine and I'm paying for everything. When he'll be finished, he won't have any debt. What has really changed after the war? The fascists are in power again. Except they have a bigger mouth now and they're keeping the people stupid. That's true. -And what are they using to do it? That nonsense that you're selling. What did we say to each other back then? Those bastards from the war will never know any peace. Down with the fascists! Or not? You're good. That hasn't changed. You don't lose a steady hand. Except, back then it was control. Now it's rheumatism. Ladies and gentlemen, we're in the oldest part of Amsterdam. We're driving past the oldest buildings. We're now going to sex theatre Casa Rosso. We wish you a very good time. Can we help? -That's nice of you, thank you. I'm killing myself dragging my husband around. He insisted on going on a holiday. And it had to be Holland. Wanted to see the old mother country? Niels! -Ab! Wout! He recognizes us! -Of course. Thank you very much. Does your husband still enjoy a sex club? He thinks it's beautiful. He can't move well anymore. He's had a stroke. But his brain's still working, isn't it? My sweetheart. Miss, help me, please. Miss! Shoot. Shoot me. Kill me. Please. Please. Good, together. Why didn't you shoot? -And you? It's much worse for him to live like this. You'd do him a favour by killing him. That the bastard's ending like this... -Excellent. Couldn't be better. Can I do anything for you? -No, I don't need any help. I could buy the collected works of Marx and Lenin from you. They're for my son when he graduates. He'll never read them. -You don't know that. Elinor? Marianne. Marianne, I do believe you're better. Yes, I feel better. (CARRIAGE APPROACHES) How long have I been in bed? I don't even know. It is ten o'clock, exactly as the Colonel promised. Mama is here. Mama? Oh, Mama! Do not excite yourself... for her sake. Elinor! Oh, my darling, are we in time? You're smiling! - Oh, Marianne. - This way, Mrs Dashwood. - My dear Colonel. - I found your mother starting out herself. She had determined to come on her own account. - Mama! - Oh, my love! My love! Thank God. Oh, thank the dear Lord who has given you back to me. Oh, I was so frightened. I had no news, you see. I expected you home and you had not come. Let me look at you. Oh, how thin you are. Well, I shall feed you up. You will have all your favourite things. I am very thirsty, Mama. We must let her rest. She is still very weak. You go to sleep now, Marianne. Mama is with you. She will not go away. You need sleep too, my dear. I can see that. This is my place now. Colonel, I cannot find words to acknowledge what we owe to you, or to thank you adequately. The glimpse I had of your sister is sufficient thanks... not that I need any. If ever a man deserved his heart's desire, it is you, Colonel. At last, we are alone. Oh, my dear Elinor, you do not yet know all my happiness. Colonel Brandon loves Marianne. He told me so himself. Oh, you're never like me, dear Elinor. Look how calmly you take the news. He opened his heart to me yesterday as we travelled. It came out quite unawares, quite without design. I could talk of nothing but my child. He gave way to his feelings and he told me of his earnest, tender, constant affection for Marianne. Everybody knows Colonel Brandon to be an excellent man. Excellent? Oh, my dear, he remained constant throughout that business with Willoughby and he brought me here. - Any man might do as much for love. - Oh, Elinor, do you now belittle him? On the contrary! I am saying that what makes him so fine a gentleman is his constant goodness to everybody. I have offered heartfelt thanks for all he has done. Oh, thanks are not enough. One must help good causes along. I have told him that Marianne will be well enough to see him tomorrow. Whose idea was this? Mother's, I suppose. You must thank him. I mean to. He is a worthy man. But worthy men are so uninteresting, especially men of his age. And letting him see me in this state... - You look lovely. - My skin looks terrible. You are romantically pale, like the heroine of one of Mrs Radcliffe's novels. - Hmm, yes. I see what you mean. - (LAUGHS) (KNOCK AT DOOR) Good morning, Colonel. Please come in. Miss Dashwood. Miss Marianne, it is both an honour and the greatest of pleasures to see you. - I shall leave you for a little while. - I am sure the Colonel would have you stay. Excuse me, I have much to do downstairs. Do please sit down, Colonel. Thank you. Dear Colonel Brandon, I must convey my sincere gratitude for all that you... Oh, let us leave that as said. Excuse me. I interrupted rudely. I am embarrassed at being thanked for what was a privilege. I only caught a glimpse of you the other night. You're looking so much better. You must be looking forward to going home to Barton. Yes, it seems a lifetime ago that we left for London. Take things very quietly when you get back. - Promise me. - I am grateful for your concern, Colonel. Be assured I intend to do little but sit in the garden and read. Ah, Gothic novels, with their ghosts and ruined castles. - Why not? - I play the schoolmaster. You read Cowper and Scott. You have heard of them, have you? I have studied them a little. I think them truly wonderful. Oh, indeed they are great poets. But have you not read the majestic Milton or the demigod Shakespeare? "Fear no more the heat of the sun "Nor the furious winter's rages "Thou thy worldly task hath done "Home art gone and ta'en thy wages." A treasure house awaits your unlocking of mighty language and great thoughts. But you speak poetically, Colonel. - I'm sorry, I did not mean to. - Pray do not apologise. I did not know you were interested in literature. You could not. I do not believe the subject has ever arisen between us... until now. Miss Marianne, may I venture a proposal? A proposal? Allow me to select a book for you from Mr Palmer's extensive library. It may help pass the time while you remain here, and it would give me great pleasure. Thank you. Yes, I would be delighted. And perhaps we might discuss it when I visit you at Barton. You are to visit us at Barton? Oh... You did not know? Your mother has invited me. Thank you. Thank you. - Thank you, Mrs Wallis. - Thank you, miss. I wish you a good journey. And you, Mrs Jennings. What can I say to you? I'll have no thanks, my dear. I've enjoyed every moment the two of you spent with me. I'm grateful for the pleasure of the company of such lovely people. Now then, I wish you no more sorrows and much future happiness. Bless you. We shall see you at Barton Park, I hope. Next time Sir John gives one of his hops. (CHUCKLES) Allow me to escort you to the carriage, Mrs Dashwood. Thank you, Colonel. Marianne is still rather weak. And Miss Marianne, of course. Your mother's as good a hand at that game as I am. (LAUGHS) Thank you, Colonel Brandon. I wish you a good journey, ladies. Dear Colonel, thank you for your kindness. How good it is to see the sun, after what Shakespeare calls the furious winter's rages. Oh, my little love. We shall always be grateful to the people at Cleveland. Mr Palmer's library is full of great books. I wonder if he has ever read the majestic Milton or the demigod Shakespeare. I should think he bought them to make a fine show. I have formed a plan. I shall enter upon a course of serious study. I shall rise at six and divide every moment until dinner between music and reading. I dare say Colonel Brandon will advise me as to my reading. Yes, I'm sure he will. I long to sit down at my own dear pianoforte. My plan shall keep me busy. We shall have no time for regrets. (PIANO PLAYING) It is over now. Elinor, do not grieve, that moment had to come. I'm glad it is over. - Is it? - At least we are talking about him. - We should have done so before. - Do you think so? Willoughby... You see, I speak his name calmly. Then there is something I must tell you. - He came when you were very ill. - To Cleveland? He came from London like a madman. I promised him that when you were well, I would pass his words on to you. Each day since, I have feared to unsettle your mind too soon. I can talk of it now. You were playing lovely, Miss Marianne. Is it all right for me to polish the table? Of course you may. Marianne, let us put on our coats and go for a walk. He did love you. He implored me to tell you that he was penitent, that you would always be dear to him, and he begged you to forgive him. Did you forgive him? For my part, yes. And I pitied him, but did not tell him so. My illness has made me think. I had enough leisure to reflect. Only now do I see that my own want of feelings brought on my sufferings. I always talked about feelings but they were all for myself. I wronged you and I wronged Mother. My weak character almost brought me to the grave. - My love... - I brought my illness on myself, by play-acting, pining and starving myself romantically, and being foolish till I almost died of it. And I knew I was doing wrong. As for Willoughby, I don't know if I can soon or ever forget him. My own future conduct must be my proof. Yes, because I hope to earn forgiveness. I can forgive him, Elinor, and doing so, for the first time feel... free. I am sorry for him. But I shall never forget how he made you suffer, nor his guilty conduct towards Eliza Williams. - It is all very well his still loving you... - Mama, enough has been said. ...but he will always be extravagant and selfish, however often he repents. And if you had married him... Oh, dear! I should never have been happy with him. I know. Elinor told me today all that I wanted to hear, and I am satisfied. - And that is all, Mother. - Well, you need plenty of occupation. - (SLAMS) - Tom? (TOM) Ma'am. I'm glad Colonel Brandon is coming tomorrow. Ah. Phew! I never seen Exeter so crowded. Not this time of year. I got everything you wanted. Sack of provisions, your linen and stuff. - Miss Marianne. - Thank you. That is excellent, Tom. That's not quite the blue I wanted. - Never mind. - My dear. Old Martin talked all the way there and back. He can talk, can old Martin. - His Sukey's had another baby girl. - Oh, we must go and see them. No other news, ma'am. All gossip. Oh, there was one piece of news... Mr Ferrars is married. Who told you that Mr Ferrars was married, Tom? I seen Mr Ferrars myself, ma'am. This morning in Exeter, and his lady too, Miss Lucy Steele as was. Oh, Miss Lucy Steele? Yes, ma'am. They was at the door of the New London Inn. I took my hat off, and she knew me. Bade me give her best compliments, and Mr Ferrars' as well, to you all. That is Lucy Steele. - But did she tell you they were married? - Yes, ma'am. I made free to wish her joy. Mr Ferrars was in the carriage, but he just looked out the other window. - And well he might. - They were going to her folk in Plymouth. Miss Lucy seemed vastly pleased. Well, I... I'll put that lot away. Oh, poor Elinor. Oh, I cannot bear this. And I too, my child. Through all her troubles I never thought of you once. We all knew they were to be married. Marianne had all my tenderness. I never thought once that you suffered as much, but unlike her were brave. E-Excuse me. I had better make sure that Colonel Brandon's room is ready. (SOBS) (DOOR SLAMS) Do you think Colonel Brandon will like that, Tom? Oh, I don't know, ma'am. They'm only from the hedgerow. - Oh. - They're pretty though. - (KNOCKS) - Oh! It's all right, Tom. Girls, Colonel Brandon is here. - Mrs Dashwood. - Edward. I've come to see you all. I trust I've not called at an inconvenient time. Oh, no. - No, Edward, come in. - Thank you. Thank you, Susan. Well, Edward, I must wish you joy. Joy? Miss Marianne, Elinor. Mr Ferrars. Is Mrs Ferrars still in Exeter or has she gone on alone to Plymouth? Plymouth? My mother is in London. No, I was not speaking of your mother, but of Mrs Edward Ferrars. Mrs? Perhaps you mean my brother... - You mean Mrs Robert Ferrars. - Mrs Robert Ferrars? My brother Robert is lately married to Miss Lucy Steele. - Oh! - Lucy... and Robert! Yes, they... They were married a week ago and are now on their way to Plymouth. (LAUGHTER) I am a joke to you, and an offence to her. - I had no right to come. - Oh, Edward! - Where are you going? - Far enough not to cause her more pain. Pain? Oh! Go to her, Edward. She is just out of her wits, that's all. (LAUGHS) And so are you. Go on. Lucy took him for his money. My mother's settlement cannot be revoked. - And a fitting pair they make. - I was a free man. I rode down here to marry you, and marched in upon you like a clumsy brute. No. Even now that I am asking for your hand... - Are you? - Yes. And blundering again. - I love you. - Oh, Elinor. But you will have to ask my mother's consent more gracefully. Oh, yes. Colonel. Oh, I am so happy to welcome you. - And so am I. - And I to be here. Before I forget, I must give you Mrs Jennings' and Mrs Palmers' regards. Oh. Miss Marianne, I hope you will not think me too forward, but I have brought you a gift. - That lovely box. - And its contents. Please open it. Whatever can it be? Oh, books! Oh, thank you, Colonel. It is only a very modest treasure chest. "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire". - Will it not be too difficult for me? - Oh, by no means. You may find it even more exciting than "The Mysteries of Udolpho". But I shall have hundreds of questions to ask you. My children. -You wanna get somethin' to eat? -Nah. I had somethin' last night, ruined my appetite. Besides, I gotta get down the road. Okay. Thanks for the ride. Come on, I'll buy you a cup of tea and a bromo. -Come on. -Okay, but I can only stay a minute. Good. Okay, we open. Come in. -Where's the john at? -In the back. Gimme a bromo for my friend here. I'll take a small steak, two eggs on top some fries, juice, and a side order of toast.... Yes, sure. Right away. Look out for that stomach, huh? Here we fix you up one second. You'll feel much better. Okay. See you, huh? We'll have your steak ready in a minute. Where's my buddy? Oh, he left. He left? -What are you talkin' about? -Hey, what's a matter? You okay? The guy drove off on me. How are you gonna figure that? Oh, I think your steak's ready. Thank you. Oh, no! -What? -He took my wallet. I left the raincoat in the car and.... I can't even pay you for this. Tell me, where you goin' anyway? -Down to L.A. -Why? I was goin' down for a job. The whole thing's in the wallet. -What kind of job? -Phone number...huh? Machinist. Eat. -Hey, thanks a lot. -Eat, you'll feel better. I'll be right back. You watch. -Watch what? -You watch. I find a new guy for the cars. How's food? Good? Very good. Great. Really. -Nick Papadakis. -Frank Chambers. Frank, huh? You know cars, Frank? Yeah. Some. I need mechanic. -Here? -Oh, sure. Station. I'll tell you, though, Nick I got friends down in L.A. I gotta go down in L.A. Thanks. And the meal, really, it was delicious. She cook the food. The food delicious. Tell me somethin', Nick, just a question.... What would you pay a guy? -Cora, how much we pay last guy? -Eight dollars. -And you promised him.... -Eight dollars. Room, board and you say you like my wife's cooking. -Your wife? -Oh, sure. Tell you what, Nick. I got to track my guy down in L.A. If it don't pan out, I take you up on it. Well, okay. If we still got it. And I'll send you some money in any case for the breakfast. -Oh, yeah. Do that. -Okay. Thanks a lot, Nick. Goodbye, now. Missus. Be right with you there. Here's a change, 20 cents. Thank you very much. What you need, Mr. Papadakis, is more coverage. I hadda lass year. Last year you had fire, theft, no liability. So what I need it now for? Well, you should've had it then. Suppose a customer comes in here and there's a spot of grease on the floor? No, I'm sorry. There's no grease onna floor. -No, I'm just sayin' suppose. -No. You suppose-a something else. -What are you doing here? -I come lookin' for some hand soap. I don't have any hand soap here. You got anything in the kitchen I could use? Go use the station john. I'd just get it dirty. I'll tell him to get you some the next time he goes in. Sorry to bother you. You want a cup of coffee? Yeah, thanks. A nice place you got here, Mrs. Papadukis. Papadakis. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Papadakis. What are you, Greek or somethin'? What...do I look Greek to you? No. Thanks. So what do I call ya? I guess you can call me Cora. A man, every man, needs to have a home. -You travel, huh? -Sure. It's okay. But you know, the time come.... The time come! Close the door, it is windy. Cora, give the man some wine. -It's in the cupboard if he wants it. -Nice coffee, Missus. When the times comes.... I used to travel a lot, too. I was a young idiot. I know you...sit down. I know you traveling' men. I was, too. Oh, sure. I've been everyplace. I speak six language. -No kiddin'. -Oh, yes, sure. Go get the wine, huh? Ah, language. Watch this. You know what that is? What? You know what it means, that? No. I know, you never make fun of a man talk funny. I talk English better than she talk Greek. You know, Frank, this-a country there's no there's no...ideas here. Opportunity, oh yes. There is no happiness. Frank, Frank come here! Hurry up! Quick! Hurry up! Look! Look at his! Goddamn son of a bitch thief. Here, pick 'em up. Here. -Hold on. You got 'em? -Where are we goin'? We go here. Put 'em up on post. You got it? Push. Push. Know what I'd do, Nick? -I'd get a new one. -Oh, I get new one, sure. And that son of a bitch hang it first time, he pay for it. Neon. Somethin' flashy. You know what I mean? Bring some business in. Neon? What's a neon? Neon. You know... -...them little colored tubes. -Tubes. Oh, it's a neon. Yeah, neon.... Maybe. Goddamn, they all try cheat foreigner. Frank, clean up the place. He say how long he's gonna be gone? He didn't tell me. He said he was goin' into town to get some parts. Smells good in here today. Is that door locked? I must've locked it. That's money down the drain, isn't it? You could look at it that way, if you wanted to, yeah. It's not your money, either, is it? No. Open it. Did you hear me? Wait a minute! Wait! Get off! All right, come on! Come on! I have surprise for you. Here. What do you think, huh? It's new. Let's see it. -You like it? -Nick, it's beautiful. Real silk? -Yeah, silk. -For you, huh? -Where you go? -I'll be right back. How'd you get that way? How're you feelin' tonight, Cora? Lousy. Yeah. Yeah, you missed me. Cora! Oh, stupid, I almost forgot. Like the sign, huh? I see they make it the way I say. See you tomorrow, eh? Yeah, see you later, Nick. Yeah? Feel like doin' somethin'? I'm doin' it. Do you want some company? Huh? Want some company? You want to be with me, right? Right? Yeah. Good. Go pack a bag, we're goin' to Chicago. Go pack a bag. We're goin' to Chicago. Now. -I used to work near here. -Get your L.A. Times. -You got a cigarette? -No. How much money you got? $110. Don't flash it around here. Come on. Wait a minute. You left your suitcase. Bus leaving for Los Angeles, San Diego, Phoenix.... -Want something to eat? -Sure. -Yeah. -I'll be right back. The next departure will be Los Angeles to Chicago. Help you, sir? Change, sir. Sir! Change. -Thanks. -You're welcome. -I've got 'em all, what do you want? -You want one? Okay, new shooter comin' into the game. All right, guys, four. I got it. Who wants a hard-ways four? -Two to one. -Two to one on the hard ways? Right. You got it. What about you? Dollar here. Okay, roll 'em. Come on. Don't touch this money. -Where does he think he's goin'? -I don't know. -Hey, buddy, we ain't got all night. -Honey, gimme some money. Come on, we're gettin' lucky. These guys don't know craps from wheat or somethin'. Come on! No, I'm not giving it to you. What? No, you don't understand. I got to cover a bet. -I can't talk to you about it just now. -Frank, I can't go out there broke. What? What're you doin' out there, anyway? Will you, for Chrissakes, just give me some money? I saved that money. Two for San Francisco. -What are you doing? -I'm tradin' these in. -San Francisco. -Wait. We're going to Chicago. Not anymore. You want to give me some money? -No. -That's $37 change for you folks. -I appreciate that. -Wait. You told me your friends were in Chicago. Hey, I got friends in Chicago. I got friends in Duluth. Now I'm gonna show you somethin'. Sit down. What have I got? -You got it. -All right. Oh, I must've skipped you. -You destroyed me. -I sure did get lucky. Wait a minute. Are you leavin' with the money? Well, I won it. Hey, mate. I want a shot to get it back. Fuck you, Commodore. I won this money. All right? It's all right with me, pal. -Good meeting' with ya. -Come on, Jim. Wait a minute. Let's play. Did you see that good-looking girl that I was talking to leave here? No, I don't know where she went. Okay, you can turn 'em on. I told you we shouldn'a hooked this up in the rain in the first place. Finish up, already. -You check the connections? -Yes, I checked the connections. -Did you check the switch? -I checked the switch. Well, go check the hookup. Your boss say, "Sign work both day and night." I wanna lights on. -Want a cup of coffee, Nick? -Turn 'em on. He's checkin' the hookup. Well, hurry up. I wanna see lights on. Turn on. Where the hell is it, anyhow? Go around there, he said it's around to the left. Yeah, I think I've found it. He would have found us anyway. You don't know him, Frank. He would've followed us, and he would have found us. Don't lose sleep over it, Cora. I'm just disappointed. I thought we had somethin'. You just don't know what it's like. Bein' a woman, trapped in this kind of.... You don't, you don't know. There's always a way, Cora. If we stick together. I didn't know what to do. Cora! I've got to have you, Frank. If it was just us.... If it was just you and me. What are you talking about? I'm getting tired of what's right and wrong. They hang people for that, Cora. Cora! Come here! Hey, Frank, it look good from here, uh? Yeah. It's a hell of an idea you had. Hey, neon, huh? Neon. All right? Ah, ring twice for danger. And the door? Locked from the inside. And then down the ladder and that's it. -Yeah. -Okay. Do you love me, Frank? Sure. You know I do. Don't worry about anything, okay? Don't tell me that. Evening. You knew I had to stop here, didn't ya? She's beautiful. I come by here all the time. When'd you put her up? -Just today. -Had to be. What was that? -There's a damn cat up there. -Oh, yeah. Hey, they sound a lot like babies cryin' sometimes, don't they? Yes, they do. Well, I expect I ought to get back to work. Yeah, well, we all got to sometime, that's for sure. That's for sure. Take care now. Yeah, I'll do that. Frank, get over here! Oh, my God! What happened to the light? I hit him! I hit him! -What happened? -I hit him and all the lights went out! Get on the phone. Call an ambulance. The cop came by and saw everything. -The cop? What cop? -Get on the phone! We're gonna die for this! Hello, Nick. Nick, wake up. Come on, Nick. Come on, Nick. Nick, wake up. We'll know for sure after we see the tests. It'll be about a week. All of a week. Can I have the book, please? Thanks. All he knows, it went dark. If he'd have turned around, Frank, they'd have hanged us for it. And something, something put that cop there. It's an act of God, those lights went out. Don't look back. -What? -Don't look back. It's a cop. -His red light's on. -Oh, God. No, no, leave 'em on. Bathroom upstairs? Ah, yeah. What's the ladder doin' there? I don't know. Hey, come here. All right. Sure. Hey. Cover's off this fuse box up here. I'd say that sucker stuck a paw in it. Fried him deader than hell. Yeah. How about that? Must've been those guys that were workin' on the sign today. Yeah. Sounds like that. Sorry about your husband, ma'am. Thank you. Thanks a lot. I'll get a flashlight. I know it's tough...to go down and see him. You're sure you don't want me to drive? Hurry back. Take it easy guys, there's plenty here. Cut pie. Little portions. John Philip Sousa. I don't want to make love tonight. It's our last night. I know. I don't want to make love. Yeah, you're right. Me neither. Oh, Christ, Cora. It's all in the feet. You must watch the feet. -Can I talk to you a minute? -It is beautiful, believe me. -You just watch your feet.... -Can I talk to you for a minute? -And you will learn.... -Excuse me. I can't talk about it now. What do you mean, you can't talk about it now? Four days already, you can't talk about it. Yeah, and you don't understand. I can't do it anymore, Frank. You understand? Why can't you do it anymore? What does that mean? You can't do it anymore? -It's over. -Come dance. What? What are you talkin' about? Bravo, Nicko. Come here. Come here. This man saved my life. I'm fond this man. Cora, my feets, you know. My feets. They're beautiful, huh? -Beautiful. -You say it. You say it Greek. Nick, I can't say it in Greek. Come on, you say it. Say it. That's it. Come here. Now, you say it. Is beautiful. Tonight. What? What? What're you doing? You're the guy's wife, Cora. You told me that. You were gonna leave me? -I was writing you a note. -Were you writing me a thank-you note? -Is that what you were doing? -Cora, look. Live here. Live with the guy. Took a chance, we didn't make it. Live with the man. He wants to have a baby. You understand? He's changed. He says the accident changed him and now I'm supposed to have his kid. How am I gonna do that, Frank? How am I supposed to have his baby? I can't have his baby. The only one I could have a baby by is you. Okay. Say you won't leave me. Please. Just stall him, babe. Just stall him. -Going far? -We're goin' to Ventura. A trip. A change of scene. -Is it much farther? -It's a couple of hours. -That's it. -What do I owe ya? $1.44. -Okay. Here you go. -Be right back. -Here's your change. -I'm gonna drive now. You can't even walk. What are you talkin' about, drivin'? -Now, get in the back. -What? -Get in the back. -Are you nuts? Are you nutty? -Mister, you don't want to-- -I'm drivin' this car home. -Come on, Frank. -You don't want to drive tonight. -You don't want to drive tonight. -What, do you own this car, big fella? -Get in the back. -Just get in the back. That's it. You drive safely now, okay? Goodnight. -Good wine. -C'mon, Nick. Is nothing like to have a wife. -Cut it out, Nick. -Don't worry. He's drunk. -Shit! -Don't talk like that. It's boiling over, Nick. I gotta pull over. Hey, wake 'im up. Wake up. The car's stopped. Come on, wake up. You gotta fix it. Frank, get out of the car. Shit. I'll fix it myself. What's a matter...with door? There, got it.... Is he dead? Get in! Come on, Cora, get in. Drive. Put it in neutral. Wait. Now, Cora, come on. Do it...do it. Come on, Cora. Do it! Hurt me. Now, you got this on the dash. And you don't know where you got this. Oh, God! No! Stop! There's been an accident! Please help me! Oh, God! Thank you. How are you today? Fine. Have you ever been in San Francisco? Yeah. In Buffalo? Who are you, mister? You know who I am. You did time in Buffalo. In Wichita, armed robbery, reduced to attempted assault. -Could we talk about this another day? -St. Louis you held up a card game. Moline, Illinois, 13 months. Assault on a railroad investigator. They gave me something. If you plead innocent and make me try you for homicide I'm going to see that you pay. What're you sayin'? This have something to do with this accident? -I wasn't even driving. -Oh, you weren't even driving. You were too drunk to drive. You were too drunk to walk. You have a witness at the filling station, yes. Who do you think you're dealing with? -I know you killed him. -Come on. I don't know, but maybe we should start running. I always thought your idea of having a combat base was crazy. Vila, I won't run. We have to find out what it is they're doing. Why the old colonies are being conquered so easily. Then perhaps we can do something about it. The five of us? Oh, and Trooper Orac here. We need to know how they are doing it. It's possible that the Federation have some new weapon, something we don't know about. - All the more reason to start running now. - Oh, drop it, Vila. Avon's right. If it is something new, how are we going to find out about it? There's only one way. AVON: We have to go to Helotrix. (Rustling) Our duty target's nice and steady now, sir. Hasn't moved for an hour. Then presumably Igin's got back to base. All right, prepare for neutron strike. All launchers mobile, sir. Ready launchers 3 and 17. Fifty-metre bracket pattern. - 3 and 17 locked on, now. - Primary relay open. Safety lock clear. Fire. Countdown. Four, three, two. They must have had some kind of marker on him. That should have been me. - It was my idea. - Igin volunteered. I should never have sent him. He was too old. But that's why he volunteered, Hunda, don't you see? - He wanted to be of use. - Nevertheless, it was my idea, I should have gone! Yes, sir, with any luck the rebel's Fourth Column has just ceased to exist. - Well done. - Thank you, sir. Mind you, I have a sneaking respect for these Helots. I led a squadron of them once. Marvellous fighters, especially at close quarters. They love the hand-to-hand stuff. Not really necessary, of course, these days, sir. Don't you believe it, Quute. You can't do everything with your missiles. Bunkers, strong points, inner city combat. You've got to winkle them out with cold steel. It's the only way of clearing the ground. - Gas, sir? - It's not always effective. - Do you remember the Fletch expedition of '29? - No, I don't think I do. Fletch used gas against the Wazis. Complete massacre, bodies everywhere. Took dinner with his officers that night, suddenly the Wazis came over the wall, butchered the whole expedition. It seems Wazis are gill-breathers, they can lie dormant for days. That's very interesting, sir. - You'll send out a patrol to do a body count? - Of course, sir. Well, don't use our own troops. We've got some adapted Helots under training. Yes, I've seen them. - What do you think of them? - They seem like all Helots after adaptation. Suggestible, obedient and glad to follow orders. They should make excellent troops. I don't know. Something missing, I think. - Fire in the belly, Quute. You can't fight without it. - No, of course not, sir. - I'm meeting the President-elect later on. - Yes, I'd heard he'd arrived. - He's a Helot, they say. - Practor? Oh, yes, born and bred. It's a good idea getting one of their own to run the place. - Is he adapted, sir? - It's not necessary, Practor's been on the Federation civil list for years. He knows all the ropes. So it shouldn't take too long to hand over. Then we can get on to Wanta. - Wanta? - That's our next assignment. - Something to look forward to, eh? - Yes, sir, I'm looking forward to that no end. Where exactly is Wanta, sir? - How long till we make planetfall? - Just over two hours. You'd better check out which gun kits you want. - Do you think I'll pass for a Helot? - No problem. When Helotrix was first settled, the old Stock Equalization Act was still in force. Every Earth race had to be represented. I didn't know Helots were originally from Earth. Everyone came from Earth originally. That's a well-known fact. It's a well-known opinion, actually. - Most well-known facts are. - But not in this case. Helotrix is one of the oldest colonies and the first to gain independence from the empire. Until the Federation grabbed it back. - Come on, Dayna. - Right. That idiot's looking forward to it. He can't wait to go snooping around Helotrix. He's good material, is Tarrant. One of the best. He's not the man for the job. Tarrant has about as much subtlety as a Tarzian Warg Strangler. All I'm saying is Tarrant's going to walk straight into trouble, and get himself killed or captured. If he's dead, he can't talk. But if the Federation find out we're hanging around, we won't stand a chance. Not in this ship. At least in the Liberator we could always outrun them. Vila, if the Federation do have some new weapon, the Helots will know all about it. All Tarrant has to do is ask a few questions in the right places. Even your Tarzian Warg Strangler might manage that. You think so? Well, you better give him a list of questions and then a map to find the right places. Doesn't have much time for Tarrant, does he? Oh, well, Tarrant is brave, young, handsome. There are three good reasons for anyone not to like him. He has a point, all the same. - About Tarrant? - (Chuckling) About the ship. It was never designed to tangle with Federation cruisers. Oh, I'm working on them. - You are? - With Orac's help. These old freighters are fitted with short-burn boosters to help get their payloads into orbit. Orac is figuring out a way to redesign them to give us extra in-flight speed. - I thought he was keeping unusually silent. - Probably sulking. One of the almost human things about Orac is that it does not like to work. - Orac. - Yes, Avon. - Any progress with the booster problem? - There has been no reply yet. What do you mean, no reply? I passed the programme to computers specialising in engineering design. - You mean you can't handle it yourself? - The art of leadership is delegation. They'll push out a patrol to check our casualties, so you'll have a chance to catch them in the open for once. Now, bait the ground well, and then deploy the rest of the column beyond Post 3. - Any questions? - We'll be in the open, too. If they send in gunships we'll be cut to pieces. Take them by surprise. Hit hard and they'll have no time to call gunships. And then you get out again fast, all right? - MAN: Prisoners? - We don't take prisoners. - You should be in command. - I'm passing command to you, Hask. Take over the column till I get back. Hunda, why don't you think again? - Do you have to go? - Yes. If I'd have gone last time Igin would still be alive. - And you might be dead. - Look, we're losing this war, but if we can destroy the Magnetrix terminal, we may still have a chance, and it's our only chance. - There are plenty of others. I'm willing to try. - You're not a geologist. We need to know the exact point where we can start the shaft. How long it's going to take, what sort of equipment will be required. And a dozen other questions that only an expert can decide. How are you going to get into the city? We haven't found an entrance yet that isn't covered. That's true. They probably got Igin on their detector screens before he got 50 yards. I'm going to swim in under the reactors. - I doubt if they thought of that. - I doubt it, too. That's an impossible swim, Hunda. Fifty metres underwater in almost total blackness. - You'll never make it. - I think I can. There are two places along that cooling system where it's possible to surface, and as long as I keep my face to the current, I should be heading in the right direction. All right, Hask, you take over now. Get the column moving. And if all goes well, I'll be back tomorrow night. Good luck, Hunda. This is the high chamber, Excellency. It's still furnished to the taste of your predecessor, but that's easily changed. - Who are you? - My name is Leitz, General. Commissioner Sleer sent me to act as His Excellency, President-elect Practor's liaison officer. Good. Remarkable person, Sleer. Thinks of everything. They think highly of Sleer at Federation headquarters. So they should. So they should. If it wasn't for Commissioner Sleer's pacification programme, my task force would still be bogged down five star systems back. Adaptation programme, General. Tell me about it. How is it done? - Some new wonder drug, isn't it, Leitz? - Yes, sir. The Commissioner controls its manufacture. It's injected by medical laser, acts immediately and has no side effects. - It changes the personality, I believe? - Not to any great extent, Excellency. It simply blocks the production of adrenalin. The result is that adapted natives no longer resist us. - They continue to work normally? - Completely. - In fact, the work ethic is often reinforced. - Really? Industrial production on Tarsius has risen 19% since the natives were adapted. That's very impressive. How many Helots have been adapted so far? Do sit down, General. The majority, I should think. Commissioner Sleer doesn't waste time. It's simply that, as my craft came over this afternoon, I saw some explosions out to the east. It seemed that fighting was still going on. Isolated pockets of resistance. They're being mopped up rapidly now. You actually saw the destruction of a rebel unit. Strange that I didn't see any sign of life. They're very skilled at using cover. So it would seem. We employed a live target for that particular strike. A live target, General? Sleer's people picked up a rebel who'd been sent on an intelligence mission. He was adapted, given a tracer to swallow and sent back to rejoin his friends. When he reached their base, my missile commander just pressed the button. - That's very ingenious, General. - And very effective. Well, Excellency, I'll leave you now. We'll meet tomorrow at the swearing-in ceremony. Thank you, General. I'm grateful to you. We are now holding station 40 miles from the surface. I do hope this is satisfactory, Master. So, Tarrant, this is your big moment. - If the teleport works... - It's working perfectly now, I checked it myself. Yes, but would you use it yourself, Vila? That's the real test. Oh, get in there and disappear. Remember, Tarrant, we are only interested in whether or not the Federation have some new weapon. Whatever else is happening down there, even if they are executing the entire population, you are not to get involved. - All right? - You know me, Avon. Report when you contact surface. Tarrant to Scorpio. We're on surface. Scorpio to Tarrant. Message clear, report again in one hour. - Why aren't they answering? - I don't know. Tarrant to Scorpio, are you receiving us? He didn't hear. I fear that sensors indicate audio malfunction. Tell us something we don't know, Slave. I do apologise most profoundly if I have given offence. - I assure you that... - All right, Slave, be quiet. You'd better check the audio beam. It looks as if we're stuck here, Tarrant. I knew I should have brought my night clothes. Hmm. Well, they'll obviously be working on the fault. Nothing we can do about it. Let's go. Then from your private suite back into the reception chamber. This is, of course, a communication centre which gives you video contact by satellite with any part of Helotrix. You also have a direct audio link via the Magnetrix terminal with Federation headquarters. Not quite direct, then, is it, Leitz? No, sir, I meant that it's private and priority coded. Years in the civil service have turned me into something of a pedant. You mustn't let it worry you, Leitz. LEITZ: The Supreme Empress? Servalan? - Is your Excellency certain? - Of course, I knew her well. Killed in the rearguard action at Gedden. I knew she was reported dead, sir. I never heard any details. There was a great deal of confusion when the High Council were restored to power. Most of the old guard were killed in the fighting. They remained loyal to Servalan right till the end. And a lot were executed later, weren't they? - All the leaders were purged. - The penalty for choosing the wrong side. I myself was under arrest for a short time. Well, I suppose it's better to die bravely in the field than to face execution later. PA SYSTEM: Attention, citizens. Attention. This is a census call. Assemble in the concourse now. Use entrances 1 and 3 only. I repeat, entrances 1 and 3 only. Let's try over there. - Ah. Any ideas? - We'll have to go through him. That's what they're expecting, friends. Follow me. If you want to stay alive. We'll lie low till the check is over. - DAYNA: What's the check for? - Catching people like us. The unadapted. - Unadapted? What do you mean? - You're off-worlders. - Who are you? - You got us right the first time. We're friends. Of anyone fighting the Federation. Now what's this about people like us being "unadapted"? (Whistle blowing) Avandir, behind you! RADIO: Hello, Red Leader. This is Strike Control. What is your position? Red Leader? Are you receiving me? Ow! Sorry, sir. I think we just lost our Helots. - What? - They went out with a bang. - You mean the patrol's been ambushed? - It reads that way, sir. That Hunda and his rabble are becoming more than just a nuisance. Well, the teleport audio system seems to be working all right. Orac, how do the sensors check? The sensors are clear. - So what went wrong? - Hard to say. What did you do? What any skilled technician does with solid-state circuitry. He kicked the living quartz out of it. It's probably one of the relay triggers. We'll have to go over the whole system when we get back. All right, try and contact Tarrant now. SOOLIN: (Over radio) Tarrant. Tarrant, come in please. Avon certainly chooses his moments. Well, at least they've fixed the teleport. And we've had a demonstration of the Federation's new weapon. - Isn't there any defence against it? - Only to shoot first. We can move out of here soon. They won't run another census today. What did I say? Didn't I tell you Tarrant would blow it? We don't know that for certain. Right now, he's probably strung up while they thread red hot filaments through his nerve centres, if he's got any. It'll be, "Where'd you come from? How'd you get here? Are there any more like you?" For pity's sake, Avon, get this ship moving while we still have a chance. Slave, I want an infrared surface sweep every 30 seconds. Immediate notification of any launchings. At once, Master. - That'll be too late. - I don't think so. We can't be sure that anything has happened to them. Maybe it just wasn't convenient for them to answer. Right, like their arms are being pulled out at the shoulders. Vila, until we are attacked, we are staying. Blake would have been proud of you, you know. I know. But then he never was very bright. (Beeping) House computer. You require? You've allowed access to my private lift, to whom? A visitor. Top priority. What are you... No sign of him? In the first days of the occupation, this was always our meeting point, but maybe he stopped coming. Don't you have any other way of contacting him? I mean, you just turn up here at this time of day? It seems a bit haphazard. We didn't have time to get organised. What, so you've no contact with other resistance units? None. Maybe mine's the only column still fighting. There's Leitz now. These are friends. Dayna, Tarrant. They're from Earth. Enemies of the Federation. - Have you any news of the other columns? - Nothing good. Two has been practically wiped out. One and Three have suffered heavy casualties and pulled back into the White Mountains to regroup. So mine is the only unit still functioning. And you can expect to come under heavy attack in the next few days. The General is getting impatient. Yes, well, we beat off their last attack. Shot down two gunships. I heard. - How did you get into the city? - I swam in under the reactors. Well, I'm sorry you took such a risk to hear bad news. Well, that isn't why I came. I wanted to see how far the flood level's fallen. Why? I had hoped we could tunnel in from the lower city and lay mines under the Magnetrix terminal, but the floodwater's too high. In the early days of the fighting, we blew the reservoirs. The terminal is their communication centre? If we could knock it out, they'd be isolated. Couldn't you infiltrate an assault group? Or is it too heavily defended? It's not defended, but the city's sealed off. - What is it? - Sealed off. About 100 years ago they sealed off the old monorail. Hunda, if you could find it... I know where it runs. It's still shown on the plans. You could bring an army in through there right into the heart of the city. You're right. We could destroy the terminal and their command HQ in one strike. We'll win this war yet! I must get back to my column. I don't think we'll meet again. I hope you get the information you need. - Oh, and, Leitz. - Yes? Remember to keep your head down when we come in. What's the information you need? We've come to learn what we can about the new drug the Federation's using. Pylene-50. What do you want to know? (Alarm beeping) - So Pylene-50 is actually made here? - It has to be. It only remains stable for a few days, and then the enzyme bonds break up and it's no longer effective. If we could find a sample for analysis... Where's the synthesising plant? You're sitting on top of it, but it's guarded night and day. It's worth taking a look. - I wouldn't leave without. - Well, be careful. I wish I could help you, but I can't stay any longer. You've been a great help already, Leitz. We're very grateful. - Have you fixed its position? - Not enough time, sir. But it's above Roche's limit, so it must be a spacecraft. Or a spy satellite. - What's that thing called? Orac? - Yes, sir. - Means nothing to me. How was it detected? - A one-in-a-thousand chance, General. The operator happened to pick it up while running a routine line scan. And what was this data it was taking from the terminal? A study on freighter design modification. Information being relayed from Space Centre. Sounds like a bit of commercial jiggery-pokery, Quute. - I shouldn't worry about it. - That's not really the point, sir. These spaceship builders, they're always at each other's throats. - Underhanded bunch. - Yes, sir, but... Most of them are Scalerians, you know. - Utter rogues. Corruption's a way of life. - Yes, sir, but... Can't fight worth a damn, either. It's a security problem, General. It means that whatever's up there must be able to take information from databanks anywhere in the Federation. - Really? - Yes, sir. What, you mean, troop movements, that sort of thing? An open book, General. Then put a stop to it at once. Yes, sir, well, if you would authorise a search and destroy mission... Absolutely. No, Commissioner, the video system's been destroyed. All right, Leitz. - See nothing's touched and inform the General. - I already have. He's here. Good. Tell him I'll take charge of the investigation. We need an arrest before Headquarters are told of Practor's death. Somebody wanted to make very sure of him, eh? Commissioner Sleer said to touch nothing, sir. - Sleer's taking charge? - Yes, sir. Well, it's a police job, I suppose. - You searched the apartment? - Yes, General. The computer must have let him in. So the killer is somebody Practor knew. I'd say that limits the field a bit. - Where were you when he was killed? - I had to meet somebody on the concourse. So the killer could have seen you leave and knew he was alone. It's possible, sir. Of course, you can prove you had this meeting. That might be difficult. Why? Because my meeting was with Hunda, General, and two off-worlders. Hunda is a rebel leader. Yes. He managed to get into the city. You see, since I arrived here, I've been coordinating the resistance. I've kept in contact with all the rebel columns. This is treason, Leitz. I could have you shot out of hand. No, I don't think so. I was acting under Commissioner Sleer's instructions to obtain advanced knowledge of their plans. You mean you're a double spy. It was my information which led to the destruction of their second column. And Hunda's column is about to walk into a similar trap. Go on. He's planning a raid on the Magnetrix terminal. At dawn he'll enter the city by the old monorail. Once his column's inside the tunnel, all you have to do is blow it in, General. Blow it in. That's all I have to do? Yes, I suppose so. It'll finish the resistance. You mentioned two off-worlders at this meeting. Yes. They're interested in the adaptation drug. I sent them to the laboratory. I expect they're dead now. TARRANT: It's a photocell lock. Here's a key. Tarrant, wait. Here's another one. - What do you make of it? - It's a Tangran code. - That's what I thought. - I wonder... You just saved our lives. - That other one must have been booby-trapped. - Yeah, that was a trick, tiny diffusers. - Nerve gas? - I expect so. Let's just pray there isn't a backup system. Ladies first. You're so gallant. In my hand I have an electrical contact. If it closes, it will detonate 700 kilos of glycerol trinitrate. Put your guns away. Put them away! Nitroglycerine? It's a bit outdated, isn't it? It was all I could make with my limited resources. And it is still a highly effective explosive. - You're not from the Federation, I gather. - No. Your surreptitious entry told me as much. Who are you? Where are you from? Come now, I may be friendlier than you think. My name is Dayna. This is Tarrant. We're Federation outlaws. Yes. Yes, I remember those names. There was a reward for your capture. You and your friends have a ship called the Liberator. - Am I right? - We had a ship called the Liberator, it was destroyed fairly recently. Memory is one of the few faculties I have left that still functions perfectly. My name, by the way, is Forbus. The inventor of Pylene-50. Forbus, you weren't really going to press that contact, were you? The explosion would have killed you, too. That would seem a waste at the present time. When I die, I should like Commissioner Sleer right beside me. But you work for Sleer, manufacturing Pylene-50. I am compelled to work for Sleer. That inhuman devil is the cause of it. Sleer is responsible for what you see. And now, only Sleer keeps me alive. What happened, what do you mean? Pylene-50 used homoeopathically is simply a muscle relaxant. Sleer discovered that 100 times normal dosage totally subverts the will, tried to force me to part with the formula. I refused. I didn't understand Sleer's nature then. Totally callous, savage ambition. There is a poison called Tincture of Pyrellic. - Perhaps you've heard of it? - No. It is the extract of Pamporanian fungi, it cripples and eventually kills. Death is agonising and there is no cure. I have Pyrellic poisoning. Sleer's doing. There is an antidote that prevents the poison's spreading. As long as I take it daily I get no worse, but Sleer, of course, controls my supply. - So long as you manufacture Pylene-50. - That is the threat always over my head. To work for Sleer or to die in agony. But, from time to time, Commissioner Sleer comes in here to taunt me, to gloat. Now, thanks to my outdated nitroglycerine, Dayna, I am ready. I hope Leitz comes as well. He usually does. - Leitz. - Almost as vile a sadist as Sleer. Yes, I should like Leitz to be here. Is something wrong? But Leitz told us he worked for the resistance. But he didn't tell us about that booby-trap door, did he? And he must have set Hunda up, too. That story about the monorail tunnel, it's all a trap. We've got to tell Hunda and warn him. Forbus, we came here to get a sample of Pylene-50 in the hope that someone can devise... Somebody already has, Tarrant. These block the effects of Pylene-50, but unfortunately can't reverse them. And this is the written formula. - Forbus... - Don't waste time thanking me, my friends. You must hurry. - Flight commander wants clearance to launch, sir. - All right, go ahead. Strike leader, this is Control. You have clearance. - Just launching the search for that spy ship, sir. - Good. What's the position regarding the monorail? The sapper team have laid 18 charges in the tunnel. They can be detonated either simultaneously or independently. I suppose Leitz will expect a medal after this. Surface launch, Master. What did I say? Slave, can you identify them? The heat pattern indicates three B 19 cruisers. Oh, come on, Avon. Hit that button. That's a search formation, Avon. They're not aligned for an attack. So they're searching. We're going to wait here till they find us? Let's get out. They must have picked up Dayna and Tarrant, and realised we are up here somewhere. Slave, set the ship on an evasion pattern, maximum speed! - That's the first sensible... - Just a minute. This is Scorpio. Come in, Tarrant. Hold that order, Slave. TARRANT: Soolin, we're almost finished here. Tell him if he doesn't get the hell out, we're certainly finished here. SOOLIN: Tarrant, we think Scorpio has been spotted. Teleport up now. I'm sorry, Soolin, we're not receiving you very clearly. AVON: Tarrant! Tarrant! Listen... Let's go. - Tarrant! Tarrant! - It's no use, he's cut off. - Damn. - Well, that is it. With those ships out there, we can't wait. They might not be looking for us. Are you crazy? You said yourself that was a search formation. They haven't picked up Tarrant, so why have they assumed a ship's out here? Just a minute. Orac, that message from Space Centre, how was it relayed here? Through Terminal 4006. - The terminal on Helotrix. - Of course, Avon. - That is the nearest terminal to our position. - That's it. They must have intercepted the transmission. Computer logic. The nearest terminal. So Orac's thick, we all know that. Let's move! - I'm going in under them. - What? We'll go down to cloud level. If we stay between them and the planet, we may not show up on their scanners. Once we're below them we'll be cut off. We won't stand a chance! Slave, give me manual control. I'm banking on them searching outwards, not inwards. - And if you're wrong? - If I'm wrong you can say, "I told you so", provided you speak loudly and quickly. The entrance to the old monorail must be somewhere in this area. Probably underneath all that rubble. Must be just beyond the next ridge, near where the armoury used to stand. Hunda, someone up there. Cover! It's all right. I know them. Right. The raid's off. - Why? - We've been tricked. Leitz is a double agent. If you go into that monorail, you're good as dead, but you could go in where we came out. We'd be picked off before we got anywhere near the terminal. Hunda, if you issue your men with these, you'll have a fighting chance. What are they? Some new drug that counters the effects of their medical lasers. They should be entering the tunnel now. We'll let them get well in, then blow every charge. Make it as easy as possible for the poor devils. - We have an entry signal, sir, square 4K. - Square 4K. Must be a feint to draw attention from their main attack. They look to be coming through in some strength for a feint, General. They're moving towards the terminal. We'll cut them off on the concourse. Tell Commissioner Sleer I'll need a full troop of guards. I want to see this. You coming, Quute? - What about the tunnel, sir? - Blow every charge now. (Beeping) You were right, Tarrant. That was the monorail. Let's move. Put down your guns. Servalan! Now! You see, I told you, Quute. They're marvellous fighters, especially at close quarters. She got away. It was Servalan, wasn't it? Well, we both saw her, and she seemed to recognise us. Tarrant to Scorpio. We're ready for teleport. About time. Stand by to teleport. Slave, where are those cruisers now? Sector 12, Master. You outmanoeuvred them with consummate skill. Thank you. Set a direct course for base, maximum speed. Teleport operating. What are you smirking about? Do you realise we've got half the Federation battle fleet looking for us? The next time either of you pull a stunt like that, I warn you it may prove fatal. We've just seen an old friend of yours. - An implacable old friend. - Servalan. - Servalan? - I thought you said she was dead. - TARRANT: We did. - But she's not. She's very much alive. - You tricked me, Forbus. - No, Sleer, I assure you. You did something to that last batch of Pylene-50. I did nothing. Nothing at all. Look, let me show you the test sample. I'm going to cut off your drug supply for three days. - That means you'll die about another 10%. - Oh, no. Please, don't do that. - Look, this is the test sample. - I told you... (Groans) I'm not interested. I'll teach you to obey me, Forbus, if I have to destroy all your skinny little body. If you need a witness, Commissioner, I can swear it was self-defence. What are you doing here? I followed you from the concourse. Those two off-worlders seemed very anxious to find you as well. They seemed to think they recognised you. Really? And of course, Practor recognised you as well, didn't he? That's why you killed him. - What do you want, Leitz? - The Presidency. Anything is possible. Well, after all, somebody has to take Practor's place. You could use your influence, I'm sure. And of course, you'd know your secret would be safe with me... Servalan. I'm sure it would. But I don't submit to blackmail. There's always a first time. And it's better than being executed. After all, how many people have you killed to conceal your secret? You mean now? Twenty-six... so far. You can't afford not to believe me, Avon. - How the hell did she get off the Liberator? - I don't know. Look, we both saw her. It was Servalan. You're just running away from the truth. All right, I believe you. I didn't want her to die like that anyway. I need... to kill her myself. - Yablonski. - Ho. Hutchinson. Hey, Hutch, this is your lucky day. They finally forwarded this from your old unit. - I'd glad I got it before I go home. - Horner. Klinger, Maxie. Mulcahy. Maxie? Maxie. Maxie. It's from Laverne. - Corporal, can I have my letter, please? - Huh? Oh. Oh, yeah. - Yeah. Here, Father. - Oh. [Moaning] Oh. Oh. Oh. - Good morning, Klinger. - Good morning, darling. - Come again, snookums? - Huh? Oh. I'm sorry, sir. It's a letter from Laverne. Laverne... the ex-missus who left you high and dry for that butcher boy? Morty's a sausage maker. That's below butcher in the Toledo social register. But everything's changed now, sir. Listen to what I read so far. "Dear Maxie, You are much in my mind these days. "Taking up with Morty was a terrible mistake. The man's soul is made of animal by-products." Guess that makes you feel pretty happy, huh? - Seeing the sausage king put through the old grinder. - It's more than that, sir. Can't you read between the lines? She wants me back. Oh, that's music to my eyes! Hold on, Mr. About-face. Is this the same woman you described as a chippy, a leech and a vampire? All lies to save face, sir. You don't get over a goddess. - What else does the little Aphrodite have to say? - Let me see. "Thank goodness for Gus. He helped me realize the error of my ways." Oh! Good old Gus. I knew I could count on him. - Who is this Gus cuss? - Gus Nagy... my best friend. A while back, he wrote me Laverne and Morty were having fights. So, I told him to do his best to keep the fur flying'. - Ah. - [Laughing] "And so, dear Max... "I wanted to let you know before you hear it from anybody else. I am marrying Gus Nagy." I can't believe it. I just lost my best girl and my best friend in one lousy sentence. Now, pull yourself together, son. You'll bounce back. When you get home to Toledo... you'll find a new girl and a new friend. Toledo. I'll be the laughingstock there. It's like Nero Wolfe said... "You can't go home again." - [Helicopter Approaching] - I had one shot at true happiness... and now it's killed me. I tell you what, Max. After you're done in O.R., take the next 24 hours off. That's Doc Potter's R.X. For a broken heart... time. - [Charles] Damn it. Hold that book steady. - Sorry, Doctor. [B. J.] Charles, just turn to the last page and find out how the operation comes out. [Potter] Leave him alone. If he's reconstructing nerves via library book... the least you can do is... shh! There must be an ellipsis. It doesn't say how to prevent scar tissue. Doctor, you might try wrapping the nerve endings with tantalum foil. - That'll protect them. - I beg your pardon? - [Clears Throat] I said you might try... - I heard what you said. Since when does a noncommissioned amateur... presume to instruct an officer and a physician on proper surgical technique? Clamp. I know the procedure, sir. Back in the States, I observed Dr. Worsely performing it. - Dr. David Worsely? - Yes. Ho, ho, ho. He was a pioneer in peripheral nerve surgery. The fact that they granted this neophyte sightseeing privileges... does not qualify him as a consultant. I wasn't a sightseer. I was a technician on his surgical team for over a year. Why don't you listen to Hutchinson, Charles? What you're reading is history. He was there when it was made. [Potter] Winchester, close the mouth and open the mind. Aha. A thought strikes me. Hutchinson, what would you say to tantalum foil here? - Good idea, sir. - Oh. After all, you're the doctor. Hey, old-timer, I'm lookin' for Colonel Potter. Could you speak up, sonny? My bird and I are a little hard of hearin'. Sorry, sir. Uh, I thought, uh... Eh, that's okay, Sarge. I'm subbing' for my company clerk. - What can I do you for? - Sergeant Joe Vickers, sir. Area retention officer. I've got the names of your enlistees who are due for discharge. I wanted to talk to them about re-upping. I trust you brought your portable torture kit. [Laughs] No high pressure from me, sir. I just wanna point out the big picture. You remind me of a "feller" who once tried to sell me a dead mule. Said it'd be no problem to feed and it didn't kick. [Laughing] That's a good one, sir. Uh... Oh, I have this, uh, memo for you too, sir. As, uh, C.O., you're obliged to try to get your officers to, uh, extend their tours. You'd better talk to the commander about that. I'm just the company clerk. ## [Humming] Oh, Charles. Read any good books lately? Professor Hutchinson just came in. Why don't you go over and thank him for that lesson he taught you today? Bandy your japes, apes. But the reason I was chosen to do that operation is that I can read. One might even say that I'm the pick of the "litterate." Evening, laddies. Say howdy to Sergeant Vickers. He's our friendly neighborhood retention officer. Too bad he didn't come to a friendly neighborhood. No offense. We just don't like war-to-war salesmen. Hey! You're a great bunch of kidders. I like a good joke myself. In that case, may I present Major Winchester? Major Winchester. You must be a career man. L... [Chortles] [Chortling Continues] Let me ask you something. Doesn't it bother you to sweet-talk young kids... into risking their lives all over again? - Hey, I'm just offering a little free advice. - Like how to avoid old age. Ah. Nothing I like better than the free exchange of ideas. That's Sergeant Hutchinson over there. He's on that short-timers list of yours. Oh, yes. Excuse me. Enjoyed shooting' the breeze. - Oh. Wait a minute. - Let the man be, Pierce. We all got our little tasks in life. - Incidentally, there's a meeting in my office tomorrow at 0900. - What about, Colonel? - I don't wanna let the kitty out of the burlap. - [Vickers] What's with you? - Rest assured, it'll be short and sour. - [Hutchinson] Shut up.! - [Chairs Bumping] - [Objects Crashing] - Cut it out. - What are you talking about? - What did I say? - What's all the hugger-mugger? Don't ask me. I was tellin' him about army opportunities, and he jumps me. Don't give me that "opportunities" bull. I'm a registered nurse, just like all these women here. When they came into the army, they were made officers automatically. I should've been, too, but they made me a lousy private. The army won't recognize me as a nurse because I'm a man... so I spend half my time pushing a stupid broom. - He's right, you know. - This man's army is very discriminating. You bet it is. You got a lot of nerve, buddy. Look, pal, I don't make the rules around here. If the service isn't your cup of joe, fine. I'm not here to shanghai anybody. Why bother? There are plenty of other fish in the barrel. There's a lot of get-ahead guys that think the army would make a darn-swell career. - Not for me, buddy. Forget it. - ##[Jukebox. Big Band, Ballad] Hey, give me a chance. You got character. I don't make this offer to just anybody. Sarge, I got a great-lookin' gal to go home to... not to mention my wife... so it just ain't in the cards. Igor. Another glass of cheer. You think you got it rough? Look at that guy. - ## ["Harbor Lights"] - [Sighs] Boy, he looks terrible. What's his story? He got a "Dear Maxie" letter. - Says he's got nothin' to go home to. - Oh, yeah? Well, that's a shame. Please. Allow me. Some tune, huh? The greatest. For a certain little lady and me, that was our song. This drink's on me, Maxie. Please. Don't call me Maxie. Only Laverne called me that. And... - And... - That's it, pal. Get it off your chest. Tell Joey all about it. Yeah. You're right, Joey. Who are you? A buddy, someone who cares. Joey? You ever have... your best friend... stab you in the back? Not since the army became my best friend. You ever... suddenly feel that you're... lost... that there's no place left for you to go? I used to. That was before the army became my home. - Oh. Really? - Sure. Think about it. The army feeds you, clothes you... gives you a place to sleep. Every guy in khaki is family. Oh, that's... beautiful, Joey. - The army is beautiful. - To the army. Max... you've got character. - I wouldn't make this offer to just anybody. - What kind of an offer? What you need is an anchor... something that won't run out on you. You know what I'm talking about? The army. [Chuckling] Hey. You're way ahead of me, Max. Did you ever think about reenlisting? Where do I sign? Okay, I got somethin' to tell ya... and I don't wanna hear so much as a titter, a snicker... - or a guffaw from anyone. - You hear that, Charles? The subject of this meeting is... the army. So far, so good. I have been directed to address you... on the possibility of making the army your career. - [Muffled Whimper] - [Laughing] - [Laughing] [Laughing Continues] [Charles, Laughing] Army... Career... I'm sorry. If I held that in, my teeth would've exploded. - You gotta be kidding. - Gentlemen, please, it's impolite to laugh at the senile. - What'd he say? - Loss of hearing is the first sign. Will you clowns keep quiet! Some of us are interested in what Col. Potter has to say. Go on, Colonel. - Why, thank you, Major. - [Kissing Noise] You blow one more kiss, Pierce, and those lips will never walk again. Please. I'd like to hear this too. - [Making Kissing Noises] - Oh! Blow it out your bugle! - Colonel, please continue. - Gracias, Padre. Now, I think you'll admit... the army presents unique opportunities... that can't be had anywhere else. That's very true. What other job lets you die for a living? Certainly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. The army provides a chance to see the world. Scenic tours of all the great battlefields. - It provides a home. - Where even the buffalo wouldn't roam. Okay. That's it. Lecture's over! Class dismissed! Except you, Pierce. Since you insist on behaving like a dunce... you can cap it off by staying after school. - Why me? They were bad too. - Yeah, but you're the top Katzenjammer. Since I gave Klinger the day off, you can fill in for him. Here. File these. Ah, the X-rays. I should've known he'd file them under "E." Good morning, Captain. You people certainly divide up the diddly work democratically. That's why we're over here... to make the world safe for diddly. [Chuckling] I'd like to leave these for your C.O. It's the names of all the reenlistees. - How many pigeons did you bag? - I signed up two fine young men... who realize they have a solid future with Uncle Sam. Let me see them. I want to know who to untie. "Rizzo, L." Mm. "Klinger, M." Klinger? That one was pure gravy. Six years. He wasn't even on the list. I'm afraid the gravy's on you, Vickers. - Klinger is strictly a homing pigeon. - Huh? You must have gotten somebody else. Nobody hates the army more than Klinger. He's spent his entire career trying to get season tickets to Section Eight. Gee, I don't know. This Klinger... dark, hairy guy, big beak. Let me see that. [Chuckles] When I saw him in the "O" Club... crying in his beer over some skirt named Laverne... [Fingers Snap] It was all over but the signing. Vickers, you're a vulture. Doctor, you operate your way. I'll operate mine. [Clicks Heels] See ya. - ##[Jukebox. "Harbor Lights"] - Klinger, come on. Get up. - Huh? - Get up. The maid wants to put fresh linen on the bar. Oh, please. Didn't you read the "Do Not Disturb The Dead" sign? - This is no time to let a sleeping drunk lie. - ## [Stops] Oh! Don't! All I have left of Laverne is that song. Klinger, do you have any idea what you did last night? - Last night? - Last night, yeah. - Last night. - Last night. No. It's all one fuzzy blur. That's great. That's perfect. Okay. I must have passed out after I reenlisted. - What? - I said I passed out. - Why do you think I was lying here? - You don't remember what you did. You didn't have any idea what you were doing last night. - How could you? - But I did. Give me a little credit, Captain. I may be a rummy, but I'm no dummy. The army provides you with a home and a career. This from the man who built himself wings... and tried to flap his way back to the States? Now the army's my best friend. I may get shot in the stomach, but I won't get stabbed in the back... not the way I did by that wife-stealer Gus Nagy. Oh. So, you mean... You mean Laverne and Gus... [Bawling] Oh, Laverne! Klinger. Klinger. Klinger, come here. Get-Get up. Look-Look. You're gonna get over Laverne in a little while... but that's no reason to throw away the best years of your life. - I haven't. - What do you mean? Well, it's not official until I raise my right hand and Col. Potter swears me in. [Shouting] Ah! Yes, Virginia! There is an escape clause. Come on. You really had me going there for a while, you little devil, you. You'll get changed. You'll get all cleaned up. Oh, good idea. I'll do that. Right after I see Col. Potter and take the oath. He was drunk. He didn't know what he was doing. Sure, I did. I was drinking. Look, Vickers caught Klinger with his heart down. It'd be criminal of you to swear him in now. - You just can't do it. - Slow down, Pierce. The boy's not drunk now. Let him have his say. Face it. I'm a poor kid off the streets. The only real experience I have is hustling pool. Now I have a chance to rise through the army's ranks and make something of myself. - Pretty sober thoughts, Pierce. - Come on. He's crazy. Nobody but an idiot would ever reenlist. I wonder if you can think of any exceptions to that rule. Take your time. I can wait. I'm going to be here a while yet. - That's a hint, by the way. - Colonel, I didn't mean... Pierce! I've had it up to here with your forever putting the knock on the army! The military has produced some great men... George Washington, Andy Jackson, Teddy Roosevelt. And if Klinger wants to re-up, I'll be proud to swear him in. - Thank you, sir. - Oh, no. - After he's had some time to cool off. - Thank you. - Oh, no. - Son, this is too big to rush into. Take some time. Think it through and through. - You understand? - Yes, sir. The colonel is very wise. This is a major step, and I shouldn't take it in the heat of passion. Smart lad. I'll be in here when and if you're ready. Now get going and start thinking. - Colonel... - Pierce, you just get going. Now, look, I want you to go sort this out. I'll keep doing your work so you can give it your full concentration. Thank you, sir. I'm gonna sort real hard. - [Potter] Come in. - Sir, I thought it out. Well, I must say you have a very nice leg up on your recovery. Gee, Doc, I don't know how to thank you. Actually, I wasn't alone. Sergeant Hutchinson here served as my foil. - Well, thank you, Doc. - Don't mention it. One day, you'll be proud to announce that you had the honor... of observing the great Dr. Winchester. Anything I should know from here on out? - Ask the expert. - Just keep a close watch. If there's infection, the tantalum acts as a foreign body... and you have to remove it. If you'll excuse me, I have to sweep out the lab. It just doesn't seem fair. He's as good a nurse as any of us here. ## [Harbor Lights] - ## [Stops] - That's enough from the hurt parade. As long as the "Harbor Lights" are on, you're never gonna see things clearly. Oh, I see things very clearly. That's why I'm writing Gus. "Dear Scum." I figured I'd start slow and then really let him have it. Gus knew I still loved Laverne. I told him that when I wrote him. I don't understand something. If all this happened because you wrote Gus in the first place... how were you gonna make things better by writing Gus in the second place? What do you want from me? I can't just sit and wallow in self-pity. Oh, Laverne! Laverne! Klinger, listen to me. You're yelling at him, but you're crying for her. If you wanna communicate with Laverne, why don't you write Laverne? - Hey. Maybe you got a point there. - You bet I do. I'll make it easy for you. I'll be your personal secretary. You just talk. Tell me what you want to say. [Clears Throat] My dearest... precious flower. Ah. Thank you for your note of October 16. It's always good to hear from you. - And how are things in Toledo? - No, no, no, no, no. This-This is not an application for a car loan. It's a love letter. Let your heart do the talking. Laverne... this is gonna knock you off your pins, but I still love you. Ah. All right. When I give my heart away, it's for good. - Good. - I even loved you when you were married to me... and you cheated on me with Morty. After all, you're only human. I was thousands of miles away... and there was Morty with his thriving sausage business to bring home the bacon. - Boy, that must have hurt. - You bet your life it did. - I have feelings, you know. - Don't tell me. Tell Laverne. Laverne, I have feelings, you know. I don't need you and Gus to use my heartstrings for a taffy pull. - Attaboy. - When we got married... it was supposed to be for better or worse. Only I gave the better, and you gave the worse. What are you gonna do about it? I'll tell you what I'm gonna do about it. Laverne! I'm washing my hands of both of you! You're rotten to the core! You deserve each other! Sign it "John Hancock." It's my Declaration of Independence. Okay! That's wonderful. At last you're a free man. - You got your whole life ahead of you. - I'm a free man! - Right. - I'm also an idiot. - What do you mean? - There's just one hitch, and it lasts six years. What do you mean? What are you talking about? I went to the colonel and had him swear me in. You mean, after all he said... Colonel Potter swore you in anyway? Yeah, yeah. He even welcomed me aboard. Oh, I'm so stupid! What have I done? Don't worry about it. You're gonna be all right. You just relax and let hotter heads prevail. I don't believe this. You took advantage of an emotional cripple. I don't believe this. You took advantage of an emotional cripple. - That's no better than Vickers. - Look, I had no choice. Klinger came in here all het up. Said if I didn't swear him in, he'd drive to "l" Corps and find somebody who would. What's the difference? All you did was save him a trip. The difference is that I had a chance to hear those immortal words... "I, Maxwell Klinger, do solemnly promise... "that I will faithfully execute the office of Soldier... and will to the best of my ability preserve"... Wait. "Office of Soldier"? That doesn't sound like the oath I took. That's because you've never been elected president of the U.S. Of A. - Huh? - Klinger didn't say exactly what oath he wanted. I figured he wouldn't know the difference, and it bought us a little time. I've overstepped the bounds of common stupidity. I owe you an apology. Maybe now you'll realize that olive drab and gray matter... don't necessarily clash. Touche, Colonel. Klinger's gonna be as relieved to hear this as I am. You mean he's done an about-face again? He sure has. He's sitting in his office now thinking he's a prisoner of war. And you left him alone? I knew it. That cuckoo's flown the coop. And I'm the one who opened the cage for him. I never should have made him chief executive. - I'll get on the horn and notify the constabulary. - Tell them to be gentle. They may not respect the man, but they must respect the office. - All right. Listen up, folks. - [Fingers Snapping] Last couple of weeks, we've all benefited from the stateside savvy... of a crackerjack corpsman... Sergeant Barney Hutchinson. However, due to matters beyond our control... the man is not getting the recognition he deserves. So our very own Major Houlihan has come up with a brainstorm... thatjust might even the score. - Major. - Oh. Sergeant Hutchinson, front and center. - Any news on Klinger? - No, but I've got a call in to the White House. These are my old lieutenant's bars. For your remaining three weeks, you shall have the unofficial rank... of honorary first lieutenant. - [Margaret] Lieutenant. - [Chattering] - Congratulations. - [Hawkeye Laughing] - [Charles] What the... - [Man] Hey! It's Corporal Godiva. Good grief. What is this disgusting spectacle? Oh, it's Klinger on Sophie, and they're both naked. What in the name of George Armstrong Custer do you think you're doing? This demonstration is intended to dramatize... that I am unfit to wear any uniform. - I am incompetent. I'm insubordinate. - And indecent. This is a protest. I was drafted behind my back. - So, can I be discharged? - Discharged? - You're gonna be impeached. - [Both Laughing] - [Laughing Continues] - [Hawkeye] Exactly what you need. - Tell me, Lieutenant Hutchinson. - ##[Jukebox. Swing] - How does it feel to be a member of the ruling class? - It feels terrific. That's speaking unofficially, of course. If anyone says you're not a real lieutenant, they'll have to answer to me. - [All Chattering] - Just think. Even if I didn't know it... for a couple of hours there, I was the leader of the entire free world. It just goes to prove the American Dream is not dead. Any boy can grow up to be first lady. ## ["Harbor Lights"] Will you excuse me for a moment please? - [Scratch] - ## [Stops] Any requests? It's my nickel. 'Hello? ' Hello? 'Kessler? ' I was right. it is him. 'Are you positive? ' Yes. I think he might be on to me. 'Did he recognise you? ' I don't know. I don't wanna take any chances. We should get him as soon as possible. 'We'll be there in 24 hours.' I'll pick you up. - You wanna go to the boat first? - No. First show us where he is. He and his wife own a shirt shop close to Waikiki. - How about his wife? - Yes, she's still alive. - We may not have time for them both. - That's OK. He's our priority. We're coming up to the shop. It's busy. I don't think we can take him here. Don't linger too long. He might see us. OK, I'll take you to the boat now. With those fancy shirts, that outrigger crew of yours had better win. Winning ain't important, pop, long as we look good at the luau later. Typical Hawaiian philosophy. To win is important too, you know? You and Mrs Greenberg better be there Saturday to cheer us on. Mama and I will be there. You just win. OK, pops. - What did you see? - I don't have to see. I feel. - Here. it may be nothing. - Nothing? You're not sure. I'm sure, Lena. I know. I feel them. - Oh, Saul. - We close the shop today. I don't know how he keeps pullin' that mess off. - Yeah, well, neither does he. - Hm? It's all in the subconscious, TC. - Haven't you heard of body language? - Body language? The body can tell you all kinds of stuff without you even knowing. You don't believe me, huh? You see the way he's lowering' his head? The body's saying he's vulnerable, and the ladies love it. Watch. Any second now, she'll throw her arms around his neck and bury her head right in his chest. Huh! Well, for a guy that don't know what he's doin', he sure do it good. Wuh-oh. Hey, she got a little body language of her own. Yeah, well, that's obvious. - Thanks for the coffee, Rick. - OK. Take care, TC. Shouldn't have lowered your head, boy. Shouldn't have lowered my head? Why is it when I find out what people hire me to find out, they take it out on me? I don't know but, here, put some ice on it. That's very funny. Hey, Saul. Another hard day at the office, eh, boys? What are you two doing in here? - All the pretty ladies are out by the pool. - Well, it's safer in here. Are these the waiters' jackets I ordered? Yes. With those coats, your waiters will look better than your members. - You look warm. Mac, get him a drink. - Er, two cents plain. That's seltzer. You got Lena workin' double time on the sewing machine? - These weren't due till Tuesday. - She has an incentive to finish early. Mama and me are going on a vacation tomorrow. A vacation? I don't believe it. Mm. Believe it. For years she's been harping me I should take her somewhere. Finally, she said, "You don't take me on vacation, I find myself a younger man." Yeah, big deal. At our age, an old man is a younger man. So, a vacation - what'll it hurt? So, we're going. It sounds like she's really got you worried. Worried? What, me? Never. Of course, she's been acting very nice to old man Burnestein lately. Where are you gonna go on this vacation? New York City. Relatives, you know. Yeah. Well, you have a good time, anyway. - Yes. Is that my cheque? - That is your cheque. - Good. - Thanks, Saul. - Shalom. - Have a good time. - I wonder how long he's been planning that. - I don't know. You heard him. Lena's been planning, he's been postponing. Hey, my new tux is in here. He didn't even mention it. it's not on the bill either. She must've really been anxious to get on that vacation. I'm goin' that way. Come with me, pay him and we'll say goodbye to Lena. OK, that's a good idea. - Here. This'll keep you honest. - Mac. Will they keep the shop open while they're on vacation? They might have someone part time to take orders. Out of business? Hey, brahda. Bet you'd like a ride to Diamond Head. Ten bucks round trip. Ten bucks? No, thanks. I got a car. Them wheels are yours? Come on. What do you mean, come on? What's your name? Miko's the name, pedalling's the game. How can I help? - You know the Greenbergs? - Yeah. Just yesterday, they takin' tourists... I mean, doin' business. You know what I mean? And today, pau'ana. - They say anything about taking a vacation? - Saul take a vacation? - You gotta be kidding. - I know what you mean. Tom? This guy says that Saul and Lena closed the place early last night. This morning, the place was for sale. There was no answer from them this morning. - Does this kid know anything? - He's as surprised as we are. - Let's run by their house. - You find anything, let me know. - I like them old haoles. - Mahalo, brah. Thanks, brah. Saul said they were taking a vacation. - We're meddling. - We're not. - We are so. We're meddling. - We're not meddling! Oh. Wait. Is that an ambulance outside the Greenberg's house? Well, it's not an ice-cream truck. - Saul! - Stay back, sir. - What happened? - Is it his heart? Looks like it. We'll know better at the hospital. Stand back. - Er, where's his wife? - I don't know. - What hospital are you goin' to? - Honolulu General. Lena? Lena? She's not here. - Where'd they take him? - Honolulu General. - That's what his prescription says. - That's not far. - Wait. What about Lena? - We'll leave her a note. No! What would I say? "Dear Lena, Saul's had a heart attack"? - Stay here and break it to her gently. - Wait a minute! Wait! Hold it! Wait a second! How do I break it to her gently? I don't know. You're good at that sort of thing. I'm not that good at it. Now, wait a minute! Thomas! Thomas! Break it to her gently. Break it to her gently. He did it to me again. Hi, Lena. Saul's got this little problem. His heart attacked him. No, that's terrible. 'Janet Clark, please report to maternity.' - Excuse me. - Yes? Could you tell me the status of a Saul Greenberg? An ambulance brought him in a while ago. Possible heart attack. Sure. I'll check for you. No ambulances have checked in since this morning and that was a pregnancy. That's impossible. The ambulance left about five minutes before I did. They may have gone to another hospital. Was it a private ambulance? Yeah. international Life Support. - And his doctor? - His doctor? I don't know. Oh, wait a minute. it could be a Dr Kessler. Yeah, Dr Kessler is a cardiologist here. - Could you check with him, please? - Sure. Let me check. 'Dr Sigapelli to Cardiology. Dr Sigapelli.' I went to the market for five minutes and he's gone! Where is Saul? - Take it easy, Lena. - Rick won't tell me nothing! - What's happened? - Saul may have had a heart attack. - Oh, God, no! - It's all right. We don't know yet. - Is there any word? - No, not yet. Dr Kessler will be here in a moment, but he knows nothing of a Mr Greenberg suffering a heart attack. And international Life Support haven't dispatched an ambulance since last night. Where is he? What happened to Saul? Where is he? Please, where is my husband? Oh, Thomas. - Please be calm. - Why don't you go and find my husband? Why don't you just go and find my Saul instead of torturing me! - Lena! Officer? - Sir? Maybe if I had a couple minutes alone with Mrs Greenberg. She's not gonna be very helpful when she's this upset. - Sure. That's a great idea. - Thank you. - I'll be in the doctors' lounge. - Go ahead. - Thank you. - 'Dr Sigapelli to cardiology.' 'Dr Haywood, you're wanted in paediatrics.' - Lena, they're just doing their job. Here. - I know. Have some coffee. Look, Lena, I don't wanna push you, but... Here you go. - I don't want any, thank you. - You don't want any. Erm, I get the feeling you know what's going on here. Lena, talk to me. 'Dr Sigapelli to cardiology. Dr Sigapelli.' I thought it was his imagination. He kept telling me he felt them. He felt them. Wait a minute. Felt who? About two weeks ago, he started to act different, nervous. This week, it was worse. He couldn't even sleep. And then yesterday, he... All right. ls... er... 'Janet Clark, please report to maternity.' Lena, sit down. Is someone after Saul? Lena, you can trust me. You wouldn't believe me. Of course I'll believe you. - You'll think I'm crazy. - Just try me, OK? Nazis. Nazis are after my Saul. You see, I told you you wouldn't believe it. Wait. it's not that. it's just... - Nazis? Are you sure? - Yes. I mean, how do you know? Lena, of course I believe you, but... you just don't hear this kind of stuff in Hawaii. Why would Nazis be after Saul? Saul was a member of something called the Masada Team. - Saul was an Israeli agent? - Tom, you know of the Masada Team? Yeah. it's a secret Israeli unit that locates and captures war criminals. They got Eichmann and only they know how many others. - I was in naval intelligence. - Oh, yes. I forgot. If the Nazis were gonna murder Saul, why would they bother... - I'm sorry. - No, no. You're right. You're right. Only they want him alive. They don't want him dead. You see, before Saul retired from the Masada Team, he was a deputy commander and he knows operating procedures, he knows names, lists. They will keep him alive at least for a while. - It's all right. it's OK. - 'Dr Sigapelli to cardiology.' Lena, we're going to have to tell the police. - No. No. - Lena. No. Saul knew we were being watched. Our people are coming. They will take care of this. There is nothing for the police to do but stand in their way. Please. Please, Tom, trust me. Please. I have been through this before. Please. Please. 'Dr Haywood, you're wanted in paediatrics. Dr Haywood to paediatrics.' Lena, look, you asked me to trust you. - You're gonna have to trust me, OK? - OK. Feeling calmer, Lena? 'Janet Clark, please report to maternity.' Mr Magnum, did you find out why they kidnapped her husband? - They must be meshugina. - What? That's Yiddish for crazy. - Will you be at this Lenai Street address? - Yes. No. She'll be at Robin Masters' estate with me. I will be staying at my own house. You can reach her at the estate or through Rick at the club. You can reach me at my own house. Won't you be more comfortable at Robin's Nest until your relatives arrive from the mainland? OK. Mrs Greenberg, one last thing. If you think of anything else... - I will call you! - Fine. Thank you. They make me so nervous. Now, why do I have to stay at this Robin's Nest? - Why does she have to stay there? - Because they might try and grab her. They don't want me. They want Saul. They don't want her. They want Saul. - You know who's got Saul? - No. Mrs Greenberg? 'Dr Haywood to paediatrics.' Sorry you had to wait. I was in surgery. I'm Dr Kessler. You are not my husband's doctor. Are you Saul Greenberg's doctor? - Yes. Yes, I am. - No. Dr Brandon is his physician, but he's on vacation. I've treated him in the interim. - Look. His name's on the prescription. - I didn't know. - Did you prescribe those for Saul? - Yes, I did. - Does he need them? - They're nitroglycerine tablets - only to be taken in case of a heart attack. Has Mr Greenberg suffered a seizure? - Ruben? - Yeah, I'm back. - How is he? - He's still out. His heart seems steadier though. You have any problems? No, I left the ambulance in a dirt road off the jungle in Koko Head. But coming back, a coastguard cutter was dropping black flags in the water. - It must be some kind of a warning. - Yeah, maybe to keep us in. Don't worry. We'll get out of here tomorrow, no matter what. - And the woman? - We'll get her too. - Give him an injection! - What about his heart? The hell with his heart! inject him! Hello. He tried to escape. He was pretending to be unconscious. I gave him another injection. Now he doesn't have to pretend. He has a weak heart. You can only give him 30ccs within... Listen, we know what we're doing. Is there anything else? I've located the woman. She is at the Robin Masters estate with a man named Magnum. - Yes, Mr Masters? - 'Higgins, it's me.' How did you get this number? I had it changed. 'I was lucky, I guess. I have a little problem.' - How perceptive of you. - Higgins, I can't get out of the car. 'The car? You've wrecked the car? ' No, I haven't wrecked it. I just can't get out of it. - Where are you? - In the Audi. The Audi? - Very clever, Magnum. - 'Just get the dogs, Higgins. 'Get the dogs.' Tommy, this is silly of you to bring me to this fancy house. You wouldn't want me to take you some place sleazy? That would be more in character. - More tea, Mrs Greenberg? - Yes, please. Er, forgive me. it's been a long time since I've seen anything like that. Oh, I wear this to hide it. It's so ugly, you know. - And may I ask which camp? - Jadwiga, Poland. It was long ago. I am sorry. Don't be sorry for me. Because Saul and I, we survived. But it never ends. Now they got Saul again. Now, Lena, we'll get him. Don't worry. When are your people coming in? I'm not sure. Tonight, tomorrow. They don't give you a schedule. But they will try to contact us at my house. Rick's working on that. Calls to your number will be switched here. - How does he do that? - Illegally, I'll wager. He has connections. Tommy, you still have to take me to my home. Lena, we have been all through that. I don't have any clothes. Nothing, not even a toothbrush. - I'll get whatever you need. - You don't know what to get. I'll bring a little bit of everything. Tommy, my personal stuff. I'll keep my eyes closed, I promise. He's such a good man, isn't he? 'I wanted to get Lena's things quickly and get back to the house. 'I don't know what it was - a feeling, I guess - 'but I was bothered by something. 'Maybe I just didn't trust Higgins with her. 'Anyway, I'd feel better the sooner I got back to the estate. 'What I really didn't like was invading the privacy of their home, 'especially since I knew what they'd experienced in the past. 'I felt strange going through Lena's things, which was silly. 'I'd seen this kind of stuff before. 'Well, most of it, anyhow. 'If I couldn't take Saul back to her, 'l could at least take back a pleasant memory.' We don't know what we're up against. This was taken in Suez with my messmates. That was in 1946, right after the war. Karl. It's dark. She must be in the main house. With how many others? I only have four shots. Don't worry. That'll be enough. The pictures are wonderful, Higgins. But I have such a headache. Do you mind? Oh, how inconsiderate of me. You must be exhausted. Can I get you anything? An aspirin? Some chicken soup? You're so kind. Thank you. Just a little rest. I'll show you to your room. What's wrong with them, Higgins? Higgins. Stay here. Don't leave the room under any circumstances. Stay, lads. Guard. Go. Halt! Go! Guard! 'I broke the speed record on the way to Robin's 'but even so, I was too late. 'And my fears were no longer just fears.' Higgins. Stop it! Why can't you go after real intruders the way you go after me? Too showy, isnt it? - No way, red is fine Agreed, red I have to learn how to drive - no problem, I will teach you We'll go wherever you want to Where do you want to go? I'd like to go to the sea - OK, we'll go to the sea What are you planning to do with your share? Buy a flat But that costs too much No, if you buy it on instalments What's wrong with you? There's nothing wrong with me I just want a flat of our own Is this one so bad? -No, not bad but... I want one of our own If this is not bat, and looks good to you I can't understand what for you want another flat Given how much it costs Well man, our own flat is our own flat Do whatever you want But fuck I can't see any logic if this one is so fine It looks like you want to live in a palace - No Do you want to smoke? - No I don't feel like smoking Are you sleepy? - Yeah If you want I'll turn the lights and well get some sleep After the cigarrette is over You were born in La Ciega, weren't you? Yes, that's where I grew up Do you like it? - I like it very much It's so pretty You're so pretty It's very beautiful I like it very much Yeah, indeed But just to stay a little while and then go To hell with it Be patient with grandma What a surprise is the old lady going to get I might be out of place here Out of place? You're my woman Grandma! Grandma! Grandma! Look at her Pablo, my god Pablito And what is this? A surprise - yes? This is Angela - Hello But what is it? A surprise, you'll see it inside He used to write every month but now it's been over a year Without any news from him Did you marry? Don't tell me you got married without noticing me Not until we have a flat Catalina - Hello son Hello Angela Is this you as a baby? Very cute Do you like moscatel? Yes, she likes it But don't serve us anything we're leaving right away Yes, I like it The police has been looking for you When? Like 20 days ago Is that true, grandma? yes, like 20 days ago or so But you're not robbing again are you? No way, that's just police routine Those people from the reformatory Just fill their time doing that What's that? You'll see What I've dreamed of all my life A color TV I'm so happy son! Grandma, you should also let Catalina enjoy it It should have costed you lots of money You don't worry about that Business are going really fine don't you agree, Angela? Yes Specially the plums exporting business They're here Let's go get them C'mon Get down, bastard Hey you, get down, fast! Don't move Let's go Come on, let's go Let's turn around - Are you crazy? Yes Meca, turn around Come back, let's go fast let's go She shot him Not at such a distance Yes she did and I don't want deads behind me Don't say bullshit Nobody has killed anybody I told you that she would bring complications But you know what we're doing If you're interested OK if you aren't, you know Seba, nobody has been killed Fuck, nothing happened He was shot in one leg we all saw that But what's the point of taking such a risk? Can't she control herself? Let's see if you can come back fast this time Hurry up! I don't get the point of burning it It's just a bigger risk of getting caught Well, come back to the road and take a taxi Think for a minute One fingerprint they find from us and we're lost Use you head On top of that El Meca likes to do it Take this, it will help you leave your worries behind Meca, let's go Meca, let's go damn it Meca, fuck, what a guy Come in, Mr What a beauty! This was a good one, wasn't it? Such a big purse for this trip, eh? We have to celebrate this one bring the glasses, Angela What are you planning to do with such a wad? This for the flat For the car's instalments For the children's school And 1000 pesetas for taxes And are you doing with the rest? I'm going to Disneyland for a little ride We only have three glasses - It doesn't matter Sit down There's no ice Tomorrow we're buying a refrigerator With the best freezer, fuck Stop it, you're getting him drunk Take it, you go first What shall I say? Angela For our eternal friendship Forever friends For our eternal togetherness For the joys of life there's still a lot for us to enjoy Give me the wallet Angela Is it true you have never been at the sea? No, never but he's taking me there When you get out of the water and lay on the sand You can easily die That's better than anything But better than this, no way Hey, have you started with the same music again? He's such an annoying guy Put a little more don't be greedy Well, if something goes wrong don't blame me Come on Angela, let's dance Let me see you dance What's happening to you? Nothing - So? I killed him - Who? Yes, I killed him No way You haven't killed anybody And he asked for it, anyway You're not a killer Stop thinking about it, Angela you're not a killer What are you planning to do? Are you getting married with Pablo? I don't think so that just ties you too much But if you're living with a man you're surely tied to him No, because at any point if you want to split, you split But you can split even after being married At the very end, what's marriage A priest, a blessing, a piece of paper Definitely not Do you want to smoke one? OK Look at them they're driving like crazy And then something goes wrong you cant leave them all alone They're driving like crazy Because they're desperate to get home So the wife opens the door Gives them little kiss And asks 'How was your day at work? and they say 'Fine, I'm just a little tired' Then she turns the TV on Start arguing with the son If a son dares to punch me I swear I'd kill him I'm going to the sea Who comes to the sea with me? I'm also going, eh I can't go now I have to fix a few things You blew it, kid Wait for me there Pablo, look at the sea! The sea Isn't it beautiful? Didn't you want the sea? Well, there you have it All for you No security guard in the outside? Not that I know Let's sit down Did you see that sign? SAFE VAULT WITH DELAYED OPENING It's a delayed opening for them We'll know for sure once we're inside For me, it's a go what do you think, Angela? Alright How much cash is there inside? On saturdays Four or five millions, for sure I like that What I find crazy is coming here with the car, Pablo Let's do something We'll leave my car far away And get here by walk And steal a car from the ones parked here Look, look Do you see that guy? We get inside along with him Then I take the keys from him and you wait for us in the outside, right? The three of us, as soon as we get out of the bank We'll leave in the car if we're able to If we aren't, each one has to escape by himself And we'll reunite later in the flat OK We'll have to do it fast One minute, one and a half minutes top If not, it's dangerous They'll take care of us really fast So there's no room for bitching - Give me a bill What for do you want a bill? I'll enter the bank Hey, you're learning fast What a way to learn, eh Take a good look in there Look at the cash desk The camera, the cashier I want to make a deposit, please The window on the right - Thanks What do you want? I want to change this into smaller bills Here you have - Thanks At what time did we agree? At eight o'clock It's 8:10 and these guys haven't arrived yet Fuck, you just can't trust anyone Do I look good? It's very good Here they are Good luck - See you later Do you like that one? That's the one As much as the 131 is well liked Everyone likes that car, eh? We'll need another one coming We can't have that one I don't like green cars that much This is an assault nobody moves! Get down, c'mon, lay on the floor Lay on the floor give me the car's keys Don't make a move Put your head down and don't move Let's see.... you, open it for us open it! Do it or I'll kill you Let's go Faster! Come on, open it! Open it fast or I'll kill you What's up now? The key, I don't have the second key Who has it? Who has it or I'll kill you The interventor - Who is he? Who is he or I'll kill you Ramirez - Who is Ramirez? , who is Ramirez? Who is Ramirez? You are Ramirez? , come on here You have to open the locked door Did you ring the alarm? - No If you ring the alarm I'll kill you, eh? Get out of here, c'mon Faster Come on, faster What are you looking at? Come on, lay on the floor Take it What are you looking at? And you, keep quiet, eh? Take it Seba, let's go Let's go Seba Let's go Seba Let's go Seba! They killed him, they killed him Pablo Pablo! What's happening to you? What's happening to you, Pablo? Is there anything wrong? what's happening to you? What's happening to you? What's happening to you, Pablo? My god What's happening to you? Pablo! Seba was shot, right? Don't you worry about that, Pablo What a bad luck we had What are we going to do, Meca? If we don't take him to an hospital -No Not to a hospital The car, Meca You have to burn it Don't worry Pablo I'm going to burn it right now I swear I'll burn it right away I'll be back soon How is it? - Good Don't move Is it too big? Where are you going to? I'll drink some water Emergency Clinic? This is the police We are all around you Drop rhe gun and raise your hands There's just no way out of here We are all around you Drop your gun and raise your hands Yes? Yes, come up How are you? You could have told me about the lack of an elevator What's happening? Come in, come in Follow me, please Would you please raise the blind This is a bullet wound I dont know if you've noticed but his condition is critical You have to do something Lady, If you what him to live he has to be taken to the hospital right now How much do you want? Here you have one million And another million once he's healed Please I'm going for the instrumental I'm coming back right away Although the content of the Pope's message is kept in secrecy It is thought to express his worrying about the state of catholic schools in Iran and the future of the catholic minority in the country Heal This morning a band of four men armed with pistols and shotguns Assaulted a Bancasa agency located in the Plaza del Campanar The Bank's security guard opened fire And was instantly killed by a point blank shot From one of the assaulter's shotguns Well, they looked very young One of them had a moustache And was wearing sunglasses The others had their faces covered with ski masks One of the was blue eyed For their voice, they seemed young Once the police was told and came to the place A shooting started One of the shots reached Sebastian Ruiz 19 years old, usual delinquent who died instantly A bystander, Consuelo Martinez, 52, was also reached by a shot and her condition is critical In spite of the fast reaction by the police The robbers managed to escape with the money Which sums several millions Horrendous, it was horrendous It's terrible not to know where to go They were moving all around the place I say that's enough terrorism We want to live in peace This is unbereable this can't go on like that This son of a bitch doesn't come back What a wait! Bastard Encoded By twentyforty Subtitles By DownTYU This is Bruce Davids from London. The city is in flames from the German bombs dropped last night by Hitler's Luftwaffe. The dead are being dug from the rubble and in France, the German armies wait for this country to surrender. But English troops are fighting back. In the skies, the young men of the RAF are struggling against the Nazi forces which only a year ago invaded Poland, swept through France, and left this country standing alone in a conflict which, if lost, could destroy the Free World. Sergeant Major, move the men in. All right, you lot, move. Mind your backs. Gangway. I found the four extra carriages you need. - Good. - You'll have your thousand men. - I'd rather be with them than here. - Finland appeals to you, does it? - Is it the country or the ladies? - Just a brief surge of patriotism. - Are you coming for a drink? - Thanks, no. Perhaps tomorrow. Hello? - See you in the morning. - Yes. Three that I can see from here. Cheers. - Mr Faber? - Hello, Billy. I've got another interview with the army. You don't look any older than you did last week. My mate Harry's got some cream that'll take the pimples off just like that. There's no need to rush. There'll be plenty of war left, I can promise you. But I want to fight now. Everyone's in uniform except me. Unless they've got a special job like you. - What about the navy, Billy? - I've been thinking about the navy, but... - Well, I can't swim a stroke. - Then the air force is out. - Why? - Well, you haven't got wings, have you? - Take these over, love. - Thank you. - All the best, love. - Thank you. - All the very best. - Thank you. Thanks very much. Mrs Rose? David, darling. I think I'd better go and get changed. - Can I help? - No, you can't. Well, my boy, when do you join your squadron? Tomorrow, sir. A Spitfire. I saw her yesterday. Lovely kite. There we are. Mama, I'm so happy. Oh, darling. - He is a lovely boy. - Isn't he. Darling... Off you go, Emma. Both of you. - Lucy... - Yes? Lucy, I... I don't know what you're expecting tonight, but I... I... I think you should know that... Mama, I do know. Goodbye, Mother. Goodbye, Daddy. Bye. Billy, you missed your tea. And you, Faber. Have something at the pub. - Thanks. I'll just have a wash. - See you there. - Freddy, can I come? - I don't know about that. - You in the army yet? - Tell him about that miracle cream. Oh, yeah. Will you tell Mrs Garden I'll be late? My mate Harry's got this cream that takes all the pimples off... Mr Faber, I've kept a nice piece of meat pie warm for you. - We mustn't let that go to waste. - Not with this rationing, we mustn't. I'll be down in a minute. 24 hours isn't very long for a honeymoon, is it? We can start right now. There's a bottle of bubbly down there. So there is. - There we are. Are there glasses? - But of course. Everything's supplied. - Oh, dear. - What? Well, I was just thinking of Mother. This afternoon, she tried to tell me what happens on a wedding night. She's a bit late. What did you say? I said she was a bit late, didn't I? Henry? Mr Faber? What are you doing? It's all right. It's... just for the station. Classified work regarding the trains. I shouldn't really be telling you. - Please, listen to me. - No. Trust me. - You're a spy. - Stop struggling. Listen to me, please. Last night, the Luftwaffe's main target was again London. Considerable damage was done to residential and industrial areas... David, be careful. You're not in your Spitfire yet. Dearly beloved brethren, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. He gives us the sheep and we... give him back the bones. Lucy, I think I've offended your mother again. I'm right here, David. You may address me directly. - A tantalising invitation. - David, please... Drink up, darling. - You'll be packed and ready, won't you? - You needn't worry. I'm ready now. Good. Daddy. Mother, I apologise for David. He finds it difficult to be with people now. - You understand? - Of course, darling. - My poor girl. - No. I'm all right. We're all all right. Aren't we, Tom? Aye, indeed we are. Well, goodbye, Mistress. These are for you and your husband. There's little enough to eat in London at the moment. Thank you, Tom. Thank you, Tom. Come on, Tom. He's drunk. - Is he always like that? - Most of the time, but he's a good friend. Any time you want to come home, you and Jo... No. My home is here, Mother, with David and Jo. It was you who told me not to expect marriage to be uninterrupted pleasure. - I'm afraid it was. - Yes, it was. Well, at least Jo seems well. - I kissed him on the ear. - Perhaps if you had another? Why ever not? Surely David's capable? Yes. But he can't bear to pass me in the hallway for fear of touching me. - Come on, Lucy. - I do love you. It's not necessary to tell Father about this. - No. - No. Come on, then. - Bye-bye, Grandma. - Come along, Jo. Agent Muller. - Someone's in with Muller. - Good. Give them 60 seconds and then go in. You've left a trail a blind man could follow. We're surrounded. Speak in English. The Führer wants you to... reassess the strength of Patton's army in East Anglia. It's invasion strength. They have the photographs. General Patton is ready to invade Europe at any time at Pas-de-Calais. - Hitler's astrologer... - Astrologer? My God. He believes... attack will be at Normandy. All right. I will reassess. - I will signal in the usual way. - No. Absolutely no further radio contact. You have to take photographs. Deliver them personally to the Führer. - Personally? Why? - He says he trusts you. - He wants to hear from your own mouth. - Well, I'm flattered. Admiral Canaris is sending a U-boat to pick you up off the coast of Scotland. That's nice. Have you been carrying this around? Yes. Why? - Let's go. - We'll get them both. What's this? Storm Island. Two miles from the rendezvous. - The U-boat will pick me up when? - When you signal it. From six in the evening until six in the morning. Six in the evening till six in the morning. Beginning when? A week from today, and for a week after that. And you. How will you get out of England? I'm supposed to get to Liverpool somehow. If they capture you and torture you? - I have a suicide pill. - Would you use it? Of course. If necessary. Jo asked me to say good night to Daddy for him. He loves you very much. I love him. But, darling, you don't show it. You never tell him. You never hold him. Don't be afraid now that he's growing up. Afraid of what? What the hell have I got to be afraid of? I'm going to go for walks with him, aren't I? And swim with him and play football with him. - David... - I want him to be proud of me, don't I? To grow up like his father, a legless fucking joke. I suppose you and your mother had a lovely time discussing me. She's very concerned about you. I don't need anyone's concern. I can manage alone. I can't. David, I need you. - I love you. - Don't. Please, don't. I want to sleep. For God's sake, let me sleep. Thank you. You haven't let this room to anybody since the death of Mrs Garden? No, sir. Not since Billy Parkin lived here. He's in the army now. I think I've seen everything I want to see. Thank you very much. Sergeant. Billy Parkin? That's right, sir. Hello, sir. What's this all about? Murder. I'll never forget coming back from the pub. And there she was. Dead. - That was the worst shock of my life. - I'm sure. Bloody Henry Faber. My hero, he was. Bastard. Even wounded in the war. Medals on his chest. Anyway, what do you want me for? These are photographs of German military graduation classes. Same year, different schools. Take your time. - I am looking for Faber, aren't I? - Yes. That's him. That's him. That's Faber to the life. And look. Admiral Wilhelm Canaris, the head of German intelligence. And right behind him, his young student - the Needle. - Going fishing? - And a little bird-watching as well. If you're lucky. Best keep to the far side of the canal. Restricted area this side. - Really? - Starts half a mile from here. The man, codename: the Needle. Also known as Henry Faber. He was born on May 26, 1900, at a village called Öln in West Prussia. At the age of 13 he went to the Karlsruhe cadet school in Baden. Two years later, he was transferred to the more prestigious Groß-Lichterfelde near Berlin. He already spoke fluent English because his father, Baron von Müller-Guder, had worked in Washington as a military attaché, and had sent his son to private school there. But back in Germany, the boy rebelled constantly and was often flogged for it. He passed his final exams with extremely high marks. In the '20s, the Needle was a cadet at the war school in Metz, and Wilhelm Canaris befriended him. In '31, Hitler visited the family estate and met him. In '33, Hitler came to power. The Needle was made a captain and sent to Berlin for unspecified duties. He had an affair with a German actress. He never married. He made no close friends. And in '38, the Needle disappeared. God. Clever bastards. - Good evening. - Good evening. - And who might you be? - I should be asking who you are. You're on my boat. - What's in that bag? - Binoculars, camera, reference books. No, you don't. Put your hands up. Would you mind? Thank you. How nice to hear from you. Of course. Yes, that shouldn't be too difficult, sir. You would prefer it in the morning? By all means. Yes. Good night. I want that in the diplomatic pouch to Lisbon this afternoon. - And on to Berlin? - As soon as possible. Fine. May I ask you... It's insurance. You don't come to us very often. - Not very. - You keep to yourself. A cautious man. A cautious life. But then, how else could one survive these days? One could stop. But not you. Training. - Patriotism. Good. - Here, please. Pull in here, cabby. Thank you. Do you know what these are, Godliman? American aircraft. These are photographs of Patton's Allied invasion force in East Anglia. The Germans think there are only two possible places for an Allied invasion of Europe. And they're right. From East Anglia here to the Pas-de-Calais, or from the south coast of England to the beaches of Normandy. Operation Overlord has decided on Normandy. Then what is General Patton's army doing in East Anglia? There is no army. These planes are made out of plywood. We did it to fool the Germans. The man who took those photographs knows it. Consequently, he must also know that we intend to invade Normandy. Find him, Godliman. It could cost us the bloody war. Well, sir, if you were at this station and wanted to get out of the country, you could go to Holyhead or Liverpool or Glasgow and then catch a ferry to Ireland. He wouldn't risk Holyhead because of the passport control. How about Liverpool to Belfast? A car across Ireland and a U-boat on the coast. You're talking about our 11.45 Marylebone to Inverness. stopping at Stafford, Crewe, Liverpool... Liverpool. That's where he'll get off. You're right. - The 11.45 left on time. - How do we get on it? - You could stop the train... - Yes. Get us a plane. - Yes, sir. - Come on, Billy. - Fancy a game of poker, mate? - Why not? We're stopping again. - The driver probably ran out of coal. - Probably forgot his ration book. Now remember, Billy, you've just to point him out to me. Don't you worry, sir. I could recognise Faber in a stocking mask. Blackout. Pull your blinds down. Thank you. Blackout. Pull your blinds down. Blackout. Come on, give us a bit of room, pal. Someone take him away. Come on. Blimey. Excuse me. Excuse me. Be still or I'll kill you. Why are you looking for me? - I'm not. - Don't lie. Has the army changed its uniforms, Billy? What's the plan? Where's the trap? Glasgow. They're waiting for you at Glasgow. So they finally let you in the army, did they, Billy? Congratulations. Oh, my God! Thank you. You've been terribly kind. You won't change your mind and have a spot of lunch? - No, I must get on to Banff. - As you like. I hope your car's there when you get back to it. It won't get far without petrol. The Red Army has scored huge successes against the Germans, striking back with tanks and troops along the Eastern Front. Hitler's armies have suffered many humiliating defeats and have fled, frozen and in disarray, through the killing snows of Russia. All this at the very moment Hitler was saying that the word "surrender" is not to be found in the German vocabulary. The US and British Forces have stepped up their daylight bombing of Germany. Mr Churchill and General Eisenhower are in conference and with the approach of summer, an attack by the Allies on Europe is, of course, only a matter of time. The fatal question for the Nazi command must be where and when will the invasion take place? A U-boat will pick you up off the coast of Scotland, but only when you signal it. From six in the evening until six in the morning. Deliver the photographs personally to the Führer. He says he trusts you. How very flattering. Aye, that's the feller. I picked him up in the middle of nowhere. - What a fool I felt when I saw this. - Are you positive it was the same man? I offered him lunch. - And he was going to Banff? - I dropped him right opposite. - Scotland Yard on the line. - At last. Scotland Yard. I know it's late. It's late here, too. David. Put your arm round me. That's it. We've had ten more sightings of your man. All checked? We've interviewed eight. We're on to the other two. We've searched from Cape Wrath to Carlisle. He hasn't got a roof over his head. You're on Storm Island. - Storm Island? - Now you know how it got its name. You were swept into the bay. Everything always is. Please, don't get up. - I've frightened your little girl. - He's a boy. - I'm sorry. - No. I must cut his hair. Was anyone else on board with you? David, we really must put the poor man to bed. No, I was alone. Didn't you bother to get a weather report before you left? No. - Did you notify the coastguard? - David, what does it matter? Because if he did, there may be men out there risking their lives looking for him. - And we can let them know that he's safe. - No. I... I... I did not notify the coastguard. I'll just turn the bed down. - I've never seen anybody so exhausted. - But, Mummy... Jo, you must play terribly quietly so that the man upstairs can sleep. He won't hear anything. - Mummy, why... - David, who do you suppose he is? A damn fool to be out in this weather. He's not a working sailor. - He's not a working sailor? - No. I noticed his hands are terribly soft. His hands? He's wearing a suit for God's sake. You're very observant all of a sudden, aren't you? I'm going over to Tom's. David. Suppose he wakes up? Who's that man in my room, Mummy? I don't know, darling. ..a girl with long blonde hair with diamonds in it. - Do you know what diamonds are? - Sort of treasures, aren't they? I must cut your hair soon. If you didn't, would it grow and grow and grow? Yes. It would grow down to your ears. Then it would go down to your chin. Then it would grow down past here. Then it would curl up here. Then it would start tickling your feet, and we'd all have to get out of the bath. Why? Because if people don't get out of their baths, they melt. But I haven't. Mummy... Mummy, can I have my room back? Of course you can. Come on, darling. Get out of the bath. Do try not to cross-question him. I'm not cross-questioning. It's perfectly normal to wonder who he is. I just think it would be nice if you didn't go on at him. I'm only trying to find out what happened. Come in. Good evening. Hello. How are you feeling? Better, thank you. I'm Henry Baker. Hello. I'm Lucy. Lucy Rose. - How do you do? - This is my husband David. - How do you do? - How do you do? Have some hot soup. Thank you. - Bread? - Yes, thank you. Can you tell me the time, please? It's ten to nine. Ten to nine? - Help yourself to cider. - No, thank you. Thank you. I'm... very hungry. - This is Storm Island? - That's right. - And what do you do here? - Sheep farmer. - Really? - I'm going to bed. My back's playing up. You're a fool. Lucky to be alive. Why were you out in the storm in the first place? Because I had no idea it was going to be so severe. Give me two. I want to sleep. I can do that. Good night. - Would you like some more soup? - No, thank you. It was delicious. There's some brandy next door. Would you like some? Do sit down. Where do you live, Mr Baker? I used to live on that boat. I suppose I am a damn fool. I moved from London about a month ago. - Really? I haven't been there for years. - When were you last there? Four years ago. And that was to have a baby. - You've been here four years? - Yes. My goodness. I hope you have friends here. Well, there's Tom who takes care of the lighthouse and the ferry comes every other Monday with our supplies. - That's all? - Yes. - Cheers. - Cheers. What do you do if there's an emergency? There's a radio transmitter at Tom's cottage, but that's really more to do with the lighthouse. It seems a terribly lonely place to live. Well, you see, David and I had a motor accident on the day we were married. That's how he lost his legs. He was training to be a fighter pilot. And then after the accident he... Well, we both wanted to run away, so we came here. It seemed like a good idea. It might have been a mistake. You can't blame him for wanting to run away. No, I don't. It's terribly sad. No, it was our fault completely. We'd had a bit to drink and we were driving much too fast... - Suddenly there was this lorry... No, no. Haven't the leisure. Oh, dear me. And here I thought... - I'm glad to see you're not really hurt. - But I am, doctor. - Really. - Maybe I better send you to the hospital? No. Look. Here. Feel. - Feel. - Where? Here? Just as I thought: Cirrhosis pectoris. What's that mean? That means your eyes are twin pools of desire. Oh, doctor. That's nice. The things you do say. That doesn't hurt anymore, huh? Oh, yes. - Yes. Yes. - You'll be all right in the morning. Wait! Wait. My ankle. Don't you think you ought to look at that? No. No, your ankle's all right. But I'll tell you one thing. You wear your garter too tight. - That stops the circulation. That's bad. - There, you see? You did find something. You are my doctor, aren't you? I ought to pay your fee, oughtn't I? I haven't presented you with a bill yet. How about this to begin with? Not that it's enough. It's fine. It's fine. It's much more than most people pay. It doesn't seem near enough to me. Harry, listen... Oh, sorry. Come along, will you? It's getting late. Well... But... But you aren't really going just because he says? No, no, no. But I have to go now. But look here. Don't you understand? I ain't no... I ain't no... No, I know you're not. You're a girl with her heart just where it ought to be. Maybe a little too generous. Because you're a nice, pretty girl, next time be more careful about the company you pick, huh? Well, but... But you are here, ain't you? Yes, but I shouldn't be. And if you really knew me, you'd know I don't wanna be. Well, I... I picks only them as wants my company. - I'm sorry. It was my fault. - What you sorry about? I am not. Then let's just say that we were foolish and next time we'll drink to one another's health. I suppose it was all in fun when you kissed me. Yes. It wasn't all in fun then. I know that. Well, goodbye and good luck. Come on, John. Don't be stuffy. After all, the lady wasn't injured, nor was anyone else. I imagine she might be a tempting morsel in an off moment. - What do you mean, "off moment"? - Yours, according to your theory. I imagine what I just witnessed was the momentary triumph of the evil in your soul over the good, huh? Correct? Yes, yes. I don't think it was a triumph, but it was an attack. But one which would have been repulsed even without your help, John. Wouldn't you run less risk if you confined your experiments to the lab? That's where you'll find me from tonight on until I get what I'm looking for. I'm worried, John. - He ought to have let us know. - He'll be along. Maybe it's all for the best, Dr. Jekyll. That wasn't my son in there. It was as if the evil one had crept into his heart. My poor Sam. - Burke, take Mrs. Higgins home. - Yes, sir. - I'll walk. - Oh, thank you, Dr. Jekyll. - Thank you. - Good night, Mrs. Higgins. Good night, doctor. Good night. - Hello, Dr. Jekyll. How are you? - Good evening, Mr. Weller. Just in time, sir. Just locking up. Wait half a moment until I fix this thing over here I'll walk up to the east gate with you. Wonderful nights we're having, sir. And don't you believe about this here comet and the "world coming to an end" business. If you ask me, it don't amount to a row of beans. Newspaper talk, that's what I calls it. Don't you believe it. Step down to Lloyd's and take out an insurance policy and it won't cost you more than it did last week when there was no talk of a comet or the world running into one. Those fellows know what they're talking about, sir. You take that from me. Mr. Weller, here's a point. If you had a balloon that carried a man to Mars and the pilot you picked suddenly disappeared, would you get in the balloon yourself and cast off? A balloon? Well, that's a good one, sir. I think you got me there. I don't know though. If I had a balloon that would take me there and back, mind you, I don't know that I wouldn't have a go at it. Might get me away from me mother-in-law for a while. How's that for an answer, Dr. Jekyll? Fair enough, Mr. Weller. Fair enough. Yes? What? Oh. Oh, no. Can this be evil? Dr. Jekyll. Dr. Jekyll? - What's happening, sir? Are you all right? - What is it? What do you want? Is that you, Dr. Jekyll? Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute, Poole. Dr. Jekyll, who is that in there? Dr. Jekyll, answer me, sir. Yes, Poole? I'm sorry, sir, but I... I heard an odd noise and a strange voice. I thought something was happening, sir. No, no, no. It's quite all right, Poole. There was someone here. A friend of mine. A Mr. Hyde. I let him out the back door. Oh, I see, sir. Very good, sir. Miss Beatrix is here, sir. I showed her into the consulting room, sir. I hope I did right, sir. Yes, yes, that was quite right, Poole. Tell Miss Beatrix I'll be there immediately. Very good, sir. Harry. What are you doing here, Bea? - Oh, Harry, then you're not... - Not what? Oh, I don't know. I had the strangest feeling. - I thought... - Yes? You thought? That you were going away without ever seeing me again. Well, why would I do that, Bea? - I love you. Why... - Oh, I know. But I lost you for a moment, Harry. - I was afraid. - But you're not afraid now? Of course not. Well, you see that everything's all right nothing has happened, that I'm the same as I ever was? Of course. - It must have been a dream. - Yes, yes, a dream. You're not angry with me? Angry? Oh, I don't want you to leave me. Ever. Oh, darling. I love you so much. - Please don't send me away. - No. Yes, Father? It's a good thing I was worried about your behavior tonight. I couldn't sleep myself. Sir Charles, I know it's strange to find Beatrix here but I want you to believe... All I can believe is that your ideas are not normal, Jekyll, not fit... Sir Charles, I asked Beatrix to come here tonight because... No, Harry. Father, I know my being here is difficult to understand, but I'm not ashamed. Then, my dear, I shall be for you, because I do understand. We leave for the Continent tomorrow on the boat train. Father, please. Oh, come, Sir Charles. After all, you could eliminate all this difficulty if you'd set an early date for our marriage. You don't understand. We're very much in love. We wanna be together. - We don't wanna wait any longer. - Please, Father. In view of what's happened, the engagement should be broken off. However, I'll be lenient. We shall see you on our return. Come, my dear. Father, I've never disobeyed you in my life. But, Harry, if you don't want me to leave I'll refuse. - Beatrix. - I mean it, Father. I don't want you to go, Bea and I can't agree with your father's decision, but I know he's thinking of your happiness. I can't argue against that and I can't ask you to. - That's highly commendable, Harry. Will you see us off at the train? Better have two engines. I might try to hold it back. Try. Try anyway. A glass of sherry wine, sir? No. No, thanks. Well, would you consider a letter from Monte Carlo, sir? - I'll take the sherry wine too. - Yes, sir. Miss Beatrix should be returning home soon now, shouldn't she? Yes. Yes, Poole. Hobson was telling me that they were expected. Bad news, sir? Miss Beatrix and her father are going to Aix-les-Bains. Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Sir Charles' health, no doubt? Yes, yes. Yes, Sir Charles' health, no doubt. If you'll forgive me, sir, it upsets me to see you like this. It isn't right. All work, as the saying goes, sir. They say there's a very interesting musical show at the Vanity Fair, sir. Very comical, you know, sir. And very daring, if you follow my meaning, sir. Yeah, I follow your meaning, Poole. But I don't think it would be wise, even though it is comical. Quite so, sir. - I'll fetch you another glass, sir. - Oh, never mind, Poole. Thanks for the pay, sir. Hey, hey, hey! Here. What's the idea, governor? Oh, I beg your pardon, sir. Yes, sir? Box F, sir. Right this way. Now, all together, boys. Two pints. Oh, oh. A tip. A tip, of course. Seven shillings, sir? Why... - Why not? You work hard, don't you? - Yes, sir. Bless you, sir. - You have a family, no doubt. - Yes. Yes, sir. Thank you. - Did you hurt yourself? - What the...? Oh, what a pity. You were thinking of the children, no doubt? Now, have that barmaid bring me some champagne. - Ivy ain't allowed to leave the bar. - I don't think you understood me. - What's all this here? - This gent here wants champagne, sir. Champagne? All right, then, bring it, bring it. - But he wants Ivy to serve it. - Of course Ivy will serve it. Go on. Look lively. A gent in box F wants you to serve him, and Old Prouty says you're to do it. Oh, he does? I'll tell him it ain't my business. But he wants a bottle of the boil. Oh, bubbly. Why didn't you say so? Hey, lvy, me love, how about some fish and chips after the show? How about a dozen oysters and a pint of stout? What about a glass of champagne? - Oh, hello, Marcia. - Hello, lvy. Watch out, lvy. How's about it, lvy? Over there, lvy. Ain't she a bit of horseflesh? Well, that'll... That'll be half a quid, sir. Half a quid? Yes, sir. Half a quid. Here. Here's a sovereign, my dear. Keep the change. Thank you, sir. Oh, but you're not going? Oh, no. No. After all, you brought two glasses. Two minds with but a single thought. My, what a nice beginning. Sit down there. Sit right down. Well, I... Well, I'll just take a sip. - Of course, I shouldn't stay too long. - Oh, nonsense. Nonsense. You can stay as long as you like. After all, we have all evening, haven't we? Of course we have. Here. There. Oh, I like your singing. Yes. You must sing again for me sometime. Where did you get such a pretty voice? Well, I don't know. I just... Perhaps it's the pretty place it comes from? - Well... - Very lovely, where it comes from. - Well, here's health so good luck. - I make my own luck, my dear. Yes, and tonight I follow the rainbow. Oh, you don't half talk, do you? Perhaps we could follow it together? - I'll follow it right home, mister. - To that rattrap? - Hey, what are you calling names? - I think you deserve something better. How do you know where I live? Well, I can imagine. Surely your wages here don't earn you a place in Barkley Square. Well, I think I'll be off. Why? I don't confuse you, do I, lvy? I believe I do confuse you, don't I? I ain't confused by nobody. Let go. Do you hear? Let go. Let go, you hear? - What's he doing, lvy? - Oh, you let go too! Watch out, lvy love. - Here, here. What's this all about? - It's him. He insulted her. - He's lying, I tell you! - He tried to break her arm. - He did, did he? - Yes, yes. Tried to break her arm. You will? You want another one? No! No! Stop it! Stop it! I'll stop it, sir. Hey, boys! Now, boys! Boys, will you...? I can't understand what happened. Never a rumpus here. Most orderly. It's that girl, lvy, that barmaid. Pretty girls always cause trouble. - I'd throw her out if I were you. - What? Lvy? I can't do that to Ivy. A great man can always change his mind for a reason. Yes, sir. Why, certainly, sir. Yes, sir. A troublemaker, that's what she is. Out she goes. Yes, but now, while the evening is still young. - Yes, sir. Certainly, sir. - Yes, certainly. What happened? I've done nothing. Just minding my own business. - That's my decision, my girl. - Stop pushing! - Don't hang about here. - Who's hanging about? - Go on. Don't argue the point. - Oh, good riddance. What's happened in there? - Is there some trouble, lvy? - Trouble? I was sacked, that's what! How fortunate I'm here. I'd like to help you. Let me back in there so I can bash him on the nose, that's all! Quite the little Tartar, aren't you? Always ready to flare up. Oh, I like that. Here, here. This is just to prove that I want to help you. The rainbow is wide and long, lvy. - Oh, now wait. I better get home. - No, no, no. Ivy, my darling, you belong with the immortals. Come with me to Mount Olympus. Drink nectar with the gods. Sing the ancient songs of pleasure. And put Athena and Diana to shame. Oh, you aren't half of one with the words, aren't you? And don't be frightened of me, will you, lvy? When a botanist finds a rare flower, he shouts his triumph, doesn't he? Are you one of them? You like a man who sees a girl and makes up his mind, don't you? I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, she doesn't know what I'm talking about. - Please, sir. - But you'll find out, won't you? - Please. - You'll find out what it means. Please, sir. The London Post, Sir Charles. Oh, thank you. And one for you, mademoiselle. What does Harry have to say this morning, my dear? I said, what does Harry say this morning? Oh, nothing much. I'll wager my gout hurts him more than it does me. Does he send any news I can hear? Oh, he just says that he walked through the East End recently. "I have never seen such deplorable housing conditions. Surely the city fathers should find the funds to..." Well, then he just goes on to say about the housing conditions. They must be pretty dreadful. He's quite right. They're disgraceful. I was saying at the club before I left. Now, there's a problem Harry could get his teeth into. He's just the man to... Here, here, my dear. What's wrong? Nothing. I suppose I'm just not very interested in housing conditions at the moment. You mean because a man doesn't cover the pages with sentiment? Nonsense. A woman must learn to read between the lines, my dear. Yes, I like the tone of that letter. And what's more, my dear, I think my gout is getting very much better. - Oh, hello, Marcia. - Are you here alone? Yes, yes. I just made some tea. Come and have a cup. Not me, nor you either. We ain't got time. Get dressed, we're going out. Freddie's got a brother from Oxford. They want another girl to make it a quartet. He's a bit of all right too. And we're going to the Empire. - The Empire? - Yes. Oh, it's ever so gay there, lvy and the show is grand. It's just where all the toffs go. - No, I don't think so, Marcia. - Why not? I just don't feel like it. That's all. You ain't afraid to go, are you? Afraid? - Why should I be afraid? - Oh, I don't know. I just thought... Well, I ain't afraid of nobody. But you ain't been out for ever so long, have you? - No, but... - He ain't your lord and master, is he? I should say he ain't. Or is it because you ain't got a nice enough dress? Of course I have. What are you standing there for, then? Go and put it on. All right. What's that across your back? What? There's nothing. Did he do that to you? - Let me see. - No. No. It ain't nothing. - I just... - So that's your fine friend, is it? The dirty, filthy brute! If ever a man dared lay a hand to me like that, I'd... Well... Aren't you going to introduce me to our charming visitor? It's Marcia. This is my friend, Mr. Hyde. You've heard me speak about him, haven't you? Oh, yes, Marcia. I've heard a great deal about you. I've never been interested. Until now. I've got to be toddling along now. - Toodle-loo, lvy. - Oh, no, no. Don't go now, Marcia. After all, this could be very interesting, the three of us in friendly discussion. I can't keep my friend waiting. - I'll be dropping by, lvy. - Yes, yes, yes. Drop by sometime when I'm here, Marcia. Your ideas differ from mine. It would be a charming experience to change them. Ivy found it that way. Didn't we, dear? Nice material. Goodbye. Very nice material. Marcia's a very pretty girl, isn't she? Oui. Yes, sir. That's what frightens you, isn't it? Why no, sir, I... You're afraid I'll become interested in Marcia. Why well, if you... If you want to... What? ! What? ! You're not very clear. Well, sir, I... Oh. Oh, you poor child. I'm such a tease, aren't I? Such a tease. Yes, sir. What a lucky man I am to be loved this way. But supposing I did have to leave you for a while? Leave, sir? When? I'm not saying when, I said "suppose." Well... Supposing I had to take a trip from time to time? You... You mean... soon? Well, now, I don't know. Oh, you mustn't look so worried. It won't be for a long, long time. Oh, I see. So we won't think about it now, will we? No, sir. When I do go, it will break your heart, won't it? Yes, sir. Well... What would my little cherub like to do this evening? Oh, sir, could we go out? Out? You mean gad about a bit, see the sights? Yes, sir. Oh, you'd like it, wouldn't you, sir? Well, now, I don't know. I don't know. That might be very charming. Where would we go? Oh, they say that the Empire and such places... They do? Who does? Well, Marcia, sir. She says it's ever so gay. - Oh, really? - Yes. We can go, can't we? They say that the bill is ever so good. And I haven't been out for so long. No. No, that's right. You haven't, have you? You do look a little pale. Yes. Yes, that's true. Not that I am complaining, you understand... Oh, no. Oh, no, no. I understand. You're just nervous and jumpy, that's all. - Yes, sir. - Yes, yes. You have that cooped-up feeling. Yes. You do understand, don't you? - Yes, yes. - Well, then... Well, now, where would we go? We might go to Albert Hall. Yes. And hear a symphony. Albert Hall, sir? Well, I sort of hoped that... What makes you say...? So you'd like to go out, huh? Yes, sir. I'll go and put my things on. Don't hurry. Because we're not going. Sir? The bill is ever so good right here. Now, let's see, what shall we do? We could play cards. But you're probably tired of cards, aren't you? You might read to me. Yes. Yes. Milton's Paradise Lost would be nice. But we haven't the book, have we? And I don't suppose you know it from memory, do you? I know. I know what we like. You must sing for me. No. Oh, no, not that. - Why not? - Not that. Not in good voice? - It isn't that, sir, but... - But it's such a pretty song. - Please, not tonight. - Yes. Sing it gaily. - I can't! Truly, I can't! - Sing it with deep compassion then. Or loving kindness even. - Sing it moodily, sing it with... - I can't! You hear me? Sing it! Sing it! Smile when you sing! Be happy! Be gay! That's it! That's it! That's it! That's it! That's it! Bravo! A prima donna is born! Let's shower her with orchids! The world is yours, my darling. The moment is mine. And I says to the wife, I says: "Look here, my girl, if you think the world is..." Good morning, sir. How about a nice hot cup of tea, sir? No. No, thanks, Poole. Would you consider a telegram from foreign parts, sir? And a nice cup of tea as well, sir, huh? I know it's good news. Hobson told me last night that they were expected home today, sir. This is a great day for us, if you'll forgive me saying so. Soon be back to our regular meals, regular hours, regular ways, sir. - Your breakfast will be ready soon, sir. - Poole. Put on your hat and coat and take an envelope to the messenger office to be delivered by hand. - Very good, sir. Ivy. Ivy, dear, it's me. - Oh, Marcia. Hello. - Hello, lvy. I didn't hear you. Hello, Fred. Hello, lvy. Get yourself a drink, Fred. - I'll make some tea. - We don't want anything. Yes, but... Don't bother about us, lvy, dear. - Oh, Marcia! - Oh. For Miss Ivy Peterson. Thanks, governor. Look. Fifty pounds. There ain't no letter. You don't suppose it's from him? He must have sent it for what he's done. No, not him. He's too mean, he is. Oh, I don't know. I wouldn't put it past him. Yes. Yes, that's it. Hopes I'll use it to try and run away. Oh, I can see him thinking it up, I can. And then, then he'll follow me. And just when I think that I've got free, he'll... I can't stand it anymore. I can't stand it. Oh, if I could only do it I'd go down to the river. Oh, lvy. It's her nerves, that's what. She ought to see a doctor. There's a copy of the Winged Victory. The real one's in the Louvre in Paris. I know because I saw it there. What's the sense of being victorious if you haven't a head? What's the sense of my taking a trip, acquiring art and culture if you're not going to pay attention? You're back here. That's the only victory that counts. That's why I was deluged with all those letters. - Bea, now look... - Oh, I know. But if I ever go away again and you don't write just because you're ill... Oh, don't you see how much more worried that would make me? It all amounts to this. February is a long way away, and your father will simply have to listen... If you don't stop looking at me like that, I won't be responsible for what happens. - Aren't public places awful sometimes? - Awful. - May I interrupt this loud conversation? - Oh, here you are. Sir Charles, glad to see you. Sorry you weren't in. You look fine. It's nice to be back. You're looking well yourself. Sorry to be late, my dear. In an argument at the club. What's on the program? I thought we'd go to Stewart's, if that's agreeable. Excellent! But, while it's on my mind, Harry there's something we must straighten out. I've gone through enough with Beatrix over this. I may be getting old and crotchety, but I won't put up with it anymore. I'm afraid you must take her off my hands as soon as possible. Oh, Father! Well, Sir Charles, that's... Of course, I insist on all the trimmings: Wedding at St. Margaret's, Bishop Manners, reception. Yes, sir, Sir Charles. I'd... Well, show her you're happy about it. Do something, man. Just another work of art, madam. It's not in your catalog. We're feeling rather gay, are we, sir? Poole, old friend, I'm going to be married very soon. Sir, you don't know how happy that makes me. I knew it would, Poole. Thank you. Sir, there's a patient in the consulting room, a Miss Ivy Peterson. She's without an appointment. If you've no time, I can... No, no, that's all right. I'll see her. So it's you, sir. So you are the famous Dr. Jekyll. Well... I'm the one you and your friend took home that night. - Remember? - Well, what what brings you here, Miss Peterson? - I think... - Are you ill? There. That's what. Look at that. Pretty, ain't it? Did you ever see a thing like that before? I'll get you some lotion. Lotion? It won't be lotion that will do the trick, sir. It's more than that. I need help. I can't stand it anymore. It's Hyde, sir. It's a man I know, Mr. Hyde. It's him that's done it and more. More I can't tell you. He ain't a human. He's a beast. And he won't let me go, sir, and I am afraid to run away. Marcia, she's my girlfriend, and Freddie, that's her friend, they they say it's my nerves, and that you know about such things. And that you could help me. Oh, I can't bear up under it no more! If you can't help me give me some poison so I can kill myself. Why didn't you try to get help before? Why didn't you go to the police? I tell you, I'm afraid. No he ain't a man. He's a devil, he is. He knows what you're thinking about. If he knows I'm here, who knows what he'll do. It won't be nothing human, I can tell you! Oh, please. Please help me keep him off. I'll do anything you ask, sir. I ain't as bad as you might think. Well... Men say that I... I ain't a bad looker when I'm more myself. You liked me once a little, didn't you? Really, you... You're such a fine and kind gentleman. Honest, that night, when you walked out of my place I made as if I didn't care. I did care. After you'd gone, I kept wishing you'd come back. Truly, I did. This man, Hyde, will never trouble you again. I give you my word. How do you know? He'll come back! He'll come back and kill me! No. He won't come back. I'll see to it. Oh, you don't know him, sir. Oh, you don't know him. He ain't human, he ain't! I gave you my word. You'll never see Hyde again. You must believe me. I believe you, sir. I believe you. You must go now. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. For a moment, I thought... Goodbye. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have admitted such a person. I didn't know she was hysterical. That's all right. I'm glad you admitted her. Now, about the wedding, we've got a lot to discuss. - We've never been married before. - Let's not get upset. We'll manage it somehow. - Good evening, Mr. Weller. - Good evening, Dr. Jekyll. A touch of autumn in the air. Very seasonable. - Wonderful, Mr. Weller, wonderful. - Listen here. Remember that comet I was telling you about? The blooming thing didn't hit us after all. - You know why? - No. Why? Because it knew at this moment, across the park Sir Emery is going to announce the marriage of his daughter to the very man you're talking to. - Dr. Jekyll! And my best wishes to the Mrs. Jekyll as is to be. Thank you. You don't mind if I hurry? - Godspeed, Dr. Jekyll. - Thank you, Mr. Weller! Oh. Here's hoping that Hyde rots wherever he is. Burn slow when the time comes. Here's hoping that Dr. Jekyll thinks of his lvy as I know he'd like to. As his lvy thinks of him. Because he's an angel. Here's to my angel. Surprised? Couldn't be that you didn't expect to see me? No. I've been... I've been waiting for you. But you've been celebrating. Is there some new event, some change? No. No. I just thought... You've just been drinking to calm your nerves, huh? It is your nerves, isn't it? Perhaps you should see a doctor. No. No, I don't need a doctor. Would you like to have some wine, sir? I'll get you another glass. Dr. Jekyll's a good man. Yes, Dr. Henry Jekyll. - Is he? - Yes. Yes. And a fine gentleman too. Different than any man you might know. Yes. Yes. "A nice, fine gentleman like yourself, sir wouldn't be knowing such a person." No. "I ain't such a bad looker, sir, when I'm more myself. " Yes. He's the kind of man you can get down on your knees to, isn't he? A sweet, dear, pure man that you can trust and believe. He's a smug, hypocritical coward, that's what he is! - You couldn't know him! - I know him intimately. And I detest him intimately from his lofty brain to the soles of his virtuous feet! And you, you... "I'll do anything you ask, sir." Well, you saw him, didn't you? You saw the respectable fool. Clutched his halo and held it straight, didn't he! How do you know all that? I know everything you do and think. Dr. Jekyll wouldn't tell you. He ain't the kind of... And as you were leaving the room, you turned at the door, didn't you? And you said, "For a moment, I thought..." What did you think? What did you think? Did you think Dr. Jekyll was falling in love with you? You, with your cheap little dreams? Or did you think, perhaps that in him, you saw a bit of me, Hyde? Oh, but it confuses you, doesn't it? It isn't quite clear, is it? Oh... What are you going to do? Something so simple. I'm going to put an end to all that confusion. Please, sir! Oh, no! Please, no! Yes, dance. Dance and dream. Dream that you're Mrs. Henry Jekyll of Harley Street dancing with your own butler and six footmen. Dream they've all turned into white mice and crawled into an eternal pumpkin. Here, you in there! Open this here door! Police! - Ivy! - I'm going in. Governor! Ho, there! Hey, you there! Look here, governor. - Steady! Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Police! Chase him, somebody! Get a copper! Police! Hurry. Come on, open up! Let me in. I'm a friend of Dr. Jekyll's. - Dr. Jekyll's not home. - He told me to wait. - I know all Dr. Jekyll's friends. - Let me in! - You'll have to come back. - Let me in, or I'll bash this door... If you don't go away, I'll have to send for the police! That's him! There he goes! - This ain't no place to rob. - But robbed it is! Help! Police! - Good night, Charles. - Good night. - Sorry your young man was detained. - So am I, Uncle Geoffrey. Good evening, sir. There was a ring at the door a while ago, sir. When I answered it, there was nobody there. Uh, door? What door? What is wrong with you people? Elaine? You remember my niece. Uh, nurse, uh, niece. Get in here. Hello, Elaine. Richard. Hi, Elaine. Rita. Hi, I'm David. I'm the son of this mess. Way past intros, David. Rita Palandino? The slump buster? You didn't call me back. Rita Palandino, Alan, really? I'll take my chances. Go ahead. Take your chances. You've lost yours with me. - Good. - Fine. I was fine until he made me call you. - He made you call? - Yes. Well, yeah, mom, 'cause I was worried about you After the one night gross you guys had. You didn't call me back. I didn't call because it was nice to feel wanted by you, To be desired and paid attention to. I haven't felt that from you in years. I'm sorry about that. Okay, so now, finally, Are you guys gonna get back together? - I don't know. - Me either. - I have no clue. - Me either. - It's all new to me. - Me too. But look at you. Look at the way you finish each other's sentences. Look how upset you were when she didn't call you back, And look how you didn't want him to know that you were back. Look at all of it. Can't you see? This is who you are. You're mom and dad. We are, but we're not alan and elaine anymore. We're alan and elaine. I'm glad you stopped by. Me too. I'll see you on the strolling path? Until the strolling path. Got to hand it to you, David. You make one hell of a wingman. Thanks, dad. Where are you going? To get Rita. I'm not leaving you here alone with that whore. Inspired by the events that occurred on social networks. Addons TRANSLATED BY GOOGLE fromIndonesianto English ThanksGoogleTranslate TranlatebyEcp27 Do not be so a. .. I'll bring a gift. You live with your grandmother, right? - How you love - How can you miss? Only last weekend, my dear. You know I promised With this, write the message, and I will answer back. And we have fun. Be fine with my grandmother. - I love you. - And I love you so much. I will miss you. Let the little monkey. - Bye, Mom. - Good-bye. See you soon. So, gentlemen, and time will we do to get some cookies. - "Cake Bowl"? - Whatever you want, honey. Wash your hands. "PANIC BUTTON" Jo! Is not it? - Yes. - Max. Another winner. - Ooo .. Nice to meet you. - Hello. Others? No. .. Nothing else. Only a selected ... - We are the winners? - Yes. Cool ... Need help? Yes, thank you. Hello all. We're a team. This is Jo. All right. - Dave. - Hello. - I'm Gwen. - Hello, Gwen. - Nice to meet with you. - And I. The first thing ... "Test before flight". - This is amazing ... - I know, how stupid ... You are afraid. It's time to enjoy treatment "VIP". - Gwen. - Thank you. - Jo ... - No, thank you. - Come on ... - Only once. Observe the very young, studying ... Do you have children ... Appear in your profile. All have a profile, right? On "Com all2gethr.". Take a good, I saw the picture marriage is crazy. And i. .. beautiful I'm sorry. That was three years ago. Naughty girl ... Naughty. - Is it for your friends. - Who cares? It seems very friendly ... Do not worry with it, getting married next month. Really, who benefits? So, something about you, Mr darkness ... - About me? - Yes. You do not need to profile even photos. What can I say? Hold them for me. We waited in rare cases. Well, for me, is in order. Damn. And say once again. Hey ... empty. Let ... Thank you. That's all right. This from the host ... Hey! We are ready to go. Addons Welcome and Congratulations the winner wins a trip to New York. Addons Offered by: "all2gethr Com.". All have been selected Addons through social networks. Addons We are planning entertainment especially for you. A nightclub. Addons To take part ... Addons you must turn off the phone, for the entire flight. Addons They can jam the equipment board Addons and represents the elimination of the game. Addons cooperation will be appreciated. Addons now ... if you will switch to output, Addons you will see a private jet, especially for you. - Toast. - Toast. Thank you. Phone, please. I can not, because they have to communicate with my daughter. It is mandatory If you want to keep playing. Let. I can switch it off, right? Contest rules say that phone must be taken. If not, you will not be competing. But you will not get a signal there. For several hours, I can not change the rules, even if I wanted. When you send a quick message. Only a small one, right? Yes. - Ready? - Yes. good luck, love! Glass ... Lights. Lamps burning ... oh .. Check it out! Lord! Remember how it looks ... Lord! God ... Gwen, Jo, Max and Dave. Addons Welcome on board. Addons We hope you will enjoy the flight. Addons are The airline "Air Deppart", Addons flight D665 to New York. - It's incredible. - So this is a life of luxury, huh? - You will be able to get used to this. - Bar and ... Yes. No way! Addons - For Sections of ". 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How long before New York? 6 hours. Even if you fly full speed. Addons now make a brief pause, Before the game started. That is some of you in New York? I do not. This is the first time you fly. Really? You're doing very well. What are you doing? It should to sit in our seats. Are you scared. And champagne ... 1985 ... For the women ... Could, and less for men ... Sorry. It was a joke. - Of course you would, right? - Yes. - Yes. - Immediately. This is the second glass? Addons We are ready for the game. Yes! Addons Touch the screen to read terms and conditions. I accept the terms and conditions. Yes? - Wait! - Accept. Do not read it all. It is the law. Conditions ... Nonsense ... No one read it. Addons you have not read the terms and conditions, want to continue? - Yes! - Why not? Addons Please note, that to win the prize, Addons game should be played until the end. Disruptive Addons every player game, will bear the consequences. What are the consequences? Addons By knowing that at all you like confrontation online Addons to answer a simple question, profiles connected to each other. - Dave? - Yes. Addons you started. - Cheers. - That's what I like. Addons Question 1: Addons how much you score a goal this season, Week soccer league This boy with a ball ... In doubt ... - Eight. - Eight? Do not ... New. - One ... This is the final answer. Addons Question 2: Addons you have any tattoos or pircing? Yes. One ... I have a tattoo on the back. He writes: "sin" in Japanese. Addons Question 3 and the last, is identified. Addons Have a look at images on the monitor. Addons Can you identify the girl in the photograph? Dave? The photo was taken Addons a few weeks ago. So ... who is he? I do not know ... Out. I do not know. Addons All 3 of your answer, not true. Addons first question, the answer is: one purpose In fact, you are out of the game to hit the opponent. - Yes. Well ... - Liar! It is in vain ... That's nice of you. Addons For question 2. In addition, compared with a tattoo on the back Addons have pircing on the scrotum, created three years ago. How nice ... You know that I love. - This is not good. - Looks good. I'm not sure about that, Dave. Addons For question 3. Amy girl in the photo. Addons A student from France, study in the UK. Addons you know that last week, You slept with him. Addons And you have to live with until the next morning. Addons you might have marked the night, But today you print anything. Addons In short: Tri and EMS in life and in the race. A large dirt. Addons - Jo, you are taking. - Cheers. It will be interesting. Addons Question 1: Protocol þinând account bar, Addons How many units of alcohol a virtual drink a week? I do not know ... 20 ... I do not know ... I have not been calculated. Addons Question 2: View all of this profile. Can you identify Addons person described in there? her face looks good. - It really looks like an old man ... - As a mother ... A nice blonde. Addons last question ... Addons now four years old, your profile says, Addons you fly somewhere for 3 months. Addons For what reason? I for alcoholism. I had a drinking problem ... So I have to go there ... I have a daughter, she has priority. I'm glad I did. Thank you Jo Addons. Addons answer to the question: 2 of 3 are correct. Addons How, answer to question 1 ... Addons Drinking alcohol 30 virtual units within a week. Addons And even more, in real life. Addons In short: chose not to increase, Addons do not affect Your real problem. Addons Max, then a question for you. Addons you follow the classical violin classes like that. At what level do you get? Cantha violin? Level 5. Addons Question 2: Addons Which of other people's profiles often do you visit? I do not know. Others? I do not know. Are all there ... It is sad. Addons last question ... Addons What's the first, purchased by you, This site us, and why? How the hell do you know? Buying goods online. Addons Let me refresh your memory to tell you. I've never bought anything like that. What's this? Addons you score "zero", Max. I've never bought anything like that. Addons The correct answer is ... Addons 1: you are at level 1. You fall for the exam 7 times. Addons 2: Profile of the most frequently visited is "Leeps Jennifer". Addons And you've seen pictures of 234 times. Now obviously. Addons Question 3: Your order solution genitals. Addons Once you come from Poland. He was 17. Addons short: dirty people like you, interesting disease. Well done. Confidential. I do not buy it. Addons Gwen, your question starts now. I do not think that there is a game. Problems that are too personal. Addons To remind you ... To win the prize, All you have to play through. - Come on, you've heard us. - Yes. Yes. You're right. Dave. Addons Question 1: Addons always fascinated you celebrity world. Addons What famous figures, I have been compared, Often, my friends? I do not know ... Learn more ... Addons Question 2: Can you identify it Addons young people in the photo? No, I think. No, seriously, do not know. Addons Question 3: - Who is the "Guardian Angel"? - Yes, Gwen, who is a guardian angel? I ... Users is my alias. Addons Score: 1 of 3 possible. Addons you compare Celebrities Kate Brooks is, hippos. Addons Foods of disability, When he was 15 years. Addons For question 2. Addons boy Neal Harris. Addons you hold the pages together, Addons with him to remember your dedication when you were in school. And I think you are a good girl. That was a long time. Addons Answer 3, is correct. Addons Guardian Angel is your username, in consultation forum. Are you a consultant? Addons In summary: You are hypocritical, because it will, Addons you start to consultation, before you give advice to others. Okay, now ... Addons Here ends the first round. Addons Remember that we have an amazing gift. Addons Thank you for participating in the game. - Toast. - Toast. Toast .... Damn, it's just a game. I know it will be a challenge. Let's play another round, maybe we dive. Well as a good gift. We've paid to play. I wonder where they find it. Photography is my profile. I'm here to win the game. Let us drink. They found something to do, right? Dave! What is it with ... You know that you ... with pircing site. Damn. That is ... it is good. I think ... - I'm infected with something ... - Attack. And I took ... - Eggs? - Pircing site. - Gwen, you want to see? - No, this is in order. - Go! - Stop asking. This is something interesting. Dave ... What do you see? It should be obvious. Snow? The weather changed, right? And? It should be clear ... Maybe you're wrong ... in time. Addons Please sit back .. It is time for the second round. Truth or lie. Nice. I think that get something to eat. Addons Millions of our users, is 24 hours online. Addons They look and share interests, desires, ambitions and dreams. Addons For some, it is place to disguise ... Addons For others, it is a place where, revealed himself to them i. Addons In this round, we find You like, behind closed doors. God ... What the heck ...? Addons Jo. Addons you recognize this video? Addons Please answer clearly. I do not know ... Addons So true. I do not remember. Addons seems hard to believe. Addons Have you seen this video 2 months ago. Is not it? Addons Wednesday 15. At 22:17. And you seem Addons and the next morning. At 11:53 Addons. Addons and you send the link, 5 of your friends. I do not know ... Consider some of the dirt ... Addons What say you add a message, when you send a link to your friends? Addons - Repeat the question ... - I do not know. God! Addons Well, let's see ... "It was ugly, watch through. " Not me, I was sent. Addons Then who did? Addons Why did you send? What were the results? Addons I was nice to see a man killed right before your eyes? Of course not! Addons But you watch again, right? And again .. and again. I just want to know. I think it's fake. No one who saw something like that. Everything we do. Who are we doing it? This is fun ... friends. We will not play. Addons If you are in doubt, Prizes will be lost. Addons All gifts. Addons The decision is yours. If you want to keep a good boy. I quit. Addons - Gwen. - Yes. Addons you recognize this? recently,youhavecompleted online tests, such as that. Yes, and? Addons This test is called: "What kind of lover are you?" Addons So ... What kind of lover you are? Yes ... Let us know! Addons - Repeat the question. - No, that's good. I say that the test is the mistress, sadist. I know. That's why I was good. But that stupid test. I make time to go. The test was wrong? Is not it? Well ... I'm not sadistic, implies that if. Your answer was given to Addons and results, but lying a few questions, right? I do not know ... I have not taken seriously, to be honest. Addons This is a question to the 4 ... You remember the question 4? No, of course not. Addons to the fourth question is: "With how many men you sleep" That's not your job. Addons That's not my job? Then you add the Addons test results in your public profile? Are you happy and Addons to believe that you Kinky, Addons but fear to tell the truth. Addons - With how many people are sleeping? - I say, it's none of your business. I bet there are 10 in the record. Addons Well, Gwen. Addons Let me help you to explain this. Addons you have access to a lot of forums ... Addons But, you are active, from 5 to 15 times a week. Virtual reality. Addons Your avatar shows a white rose ... Addons And your screen name is "Terry Bomb". Addons So Terry bomb ... Addons How many people have you slept with? - Nine Not have to end like this Addons you hide behind a user name behind the avatar Addons But wherever you go Apapunyang you download, upload, is Online locked and stored Addons A trail of information available for those who want it. Addons downloads fact, every website visited You've visited in the last 1 month Addons And we made some discoveries. -Philips They can not do that. It Information is protected. Addons Do we look at how you are protected? Addons Dave, two days ago You visit a site in Japan Addons Video streaming content from a humiliating Addons Some faforit you include the title, Addons "Two girls and a horse." Addons "It is very young to be running" Bukake Addons can I continue? Addons Please answer verbally. Addons Will I continue? - No! I do not ... Addons Do you consider the age girl in the video, Dave? Addons Do you think that? Or who look for it? Addons Can you tell us the title of the 4 times a night in watching it? I do not remember. Of course not, it may then you have come to mind. Is striking. This is a global network. And I have the right to see which I like. I was not obscene. - Max, you look at porn, right? - Do not put me in this regard. God ... - Sure you do. - I do not even know. Lie! We have all done it should not be. All! And who says no. He is a liar. Damn. - Damn it. - What are you doing? I'll talk to the pilot shit! Who's there? Who is This fly ...? Open the damn door! Addons - Open the damn door! - Please return to your seat. Fuck you! I do not want to sit down! Addons - Open the door! - Go back to your seat ... Addons This is your last warning. Open the door! Let me in! I said let me go. If you there ... Let me go. Why no answer? Addons like breaking the rules, and I ignored the instructions. Addons I have no choice to start a sentence. A penalty? Afraid that ... Does it look like I care? I will never play again. All my friends Addons Dave, will be selected. What are you doing? Rory? Addons We will visit your friend Rory ... Dale, go! Well ... Lord. No, it's not real. It seems to me. Rory had to pee with laughter. How do you know? It looks real. Come on, it's a reality. There are millions of people watching us right now. Addons Now that the penalty completed. Back to the game. - What are you doing? - Shut up! Max! You'd be annoyed. Addons Are you having fun, Max? Locked. Addons Max has violated the rules try to contact with people outside the game. How can break the rules? Addons I was in the terms and conditions. Damn. Addons I have to take a penalty again. No, please. No more. Addons Max, you have to lose a friend. Lord. Addons Let us choose to Max. Addons may not realize it. Say you're sorry. Addons Let's see. They are your friends! Do not stand so, do something! Say something. Tell him I feel ... Wait! I have tried to something. Call someone, right? Why do not you write in: 'complaints and suggestions. " Silent, we are in trouble! Problems? Crocodiles are good speakers! Addons Max, you're breaking the rules. This time to visit your friend, Allan. What is ... Asshole. Addons I tell you what just seen was real. Addons Breaking the rules again, and I assure you kill someone else. Addons It's time to play. You killed an innocent man. in cold blood for no reason! Addons I disagree. Involve friends when you break the rules. Addons And I will continue to kill more people who have no sin, if it does not follow them. Addons Thank you for your cooperation. Do you think that it is false? I do not know ... God ... Lake Casino. We in Ireland should not be in here. We have in the Atlantic. What does it mean? That our destiny is not New York. What are you doing? Max? Do not touch anything. - He will be seen. - Why does not this display? Please do not touch anything. Stop it. Please tell ... Please leave. I think this is display the information. It will take us where is electricity. We do not have to do this. I have it. Caught. What the heck? We're not going to New York. What? Where do we go? Norway? We're going to Oslo. What is it? Why are they doing this? - I do not think that should be done. - What did you say? It can not be them. What do you think of everything that is legal? - Did you talk with co pilot? - This is a competition! Do you think that the network Social killing people? I have to go to pilot. There are people dying because we are breaking the rules. We will follow the game no one else was hurt. They can not kill everyone. I have more than 1000 people in my profile. Shut up! Addons Ladies and gentlemen ... Please be seated. Addons This is the time for round 3. Why the hell fly to Oslo? Addons Relax Max. You are bad boy. Addons I will tell all of his time. No! We will not follow your game! Addons Okay. Option will not let me to start another run. Addons Let's see ... Sorry! Addons So ... sitting. Doordie. Addons Each was given the job. Addons If they do, more people die. gladlykill friends, if necessary. Addons or their families. What if I want to play more? Do not be absurd! Addons Finally, Jo, take a good decision. But better late than never. Addons Jo, please, going into his daily Addons A joke, go to the bathroom. Sendir. Sitting . Use Addons headphonenya. Addons - Did you hear Jo? - Yes. Addons I'll give you a job. Addons If you tell them, or failure in duty. Your daughter, Sophie will die. Bastard! God ... Is this life? Tell me! - Is he alive? - Yes, you want me to wake him up? no .. do not .. What happened? What did he say? What did he say? Addons Dave, please use the bathroom. Addons Use the Headset. Addons and sat down. Addons I have something very special for you. Addons - And I have to do it ... - Because I said so. Addons Do you want to break his arm? Addons - Sarah. - Sit down. Addons - you can not hear, oh Romeo. - Cursed. It's crazy. It's crazy. Addons I know this is tough, but I want to think about the consequences of their actions. Addons For you to decide if she would live. Addons or die. Why? What? Gwen Addons you later No! No! Lord! Addons - No - Sit down. Addons Now is the time taking advice from others, Addons ... So I suggest you listen well. Addons They say that burning is a painful death. Stop. Please stop. Please stop. Addons Let him live if completing simple tasks. Addons A coward in life, only if, will cause an end to a simple task. What will happen? We must always be together. We can not let us win. Max, you are next. Let. Go! Addons I have a very special mission for you. Addons If you do not, causing the death of your brother, Mike. Addons Do not kill me! Please! Addons Now when each have a personal duty ... Addons you have 45 minutes Take that to the end. Addons As you inferred, plane to Oslo. Which Addons journey will end and i. Addons When the plane will collapse and headquarters of the "all2gethr. com". Addons We will die all know ... together with who was in the building. This can not be true. It's a joke. You must be a joke. Listen to me, stupid. The joke is over now. Addons - Must ... - Conversely, Dave Addons I started a joke now! Addons Are we having fun yet? . - Max, please, listen ... - Leave me alone .. Please! Do not harm my child. Addons - What happened to him? - No one can save you now. Addons But you have the opportunity to let you rescue his daughter. Discussions Addons failed ... Your daughter will die Sunday. Failure Addons and then will die. Addons Finalize your tasks and they will live. Addons Every person has the necessary instructions. Regardless of what he said ... - We will do everything he said. - Why me? What have I done? Thi told what to do? Please know that I can not tell you. I did not say anything. No, we are not allowed to say. He said not to talk assignment. Thi What did he say? No, no ... Nonsense! I do not believe it. - To think about how to get out of here .. - Thi-thin mouth! Damn. He told me to ... I can not do what I asked. You must stop this. No, no, please! - Room, microphone ... Move! - Are you sick! If you do not see us or hear us ... This will end the game. Do not trust anyone but yourself. Sitting or hit you, you fool! Duties ... I can not do. You know what to say to me? To kill anyone when you ask me. Do not you understand? Do not want to kill us, want to punish us Do you think it will be a loved membiarakan If you follow the rules? - Are you an idiot Dave. - Are you crazy? We can not do anything with it. We must do what we were told. Addons - No - Yes, you Max. Put the ax down Addons and return to your seat. Addons If someone will suffer for your stupidity. Addons brother, Mike. Put the damn ax! place! Damn. What have I done? Leave me alone! No! No! No! Addons If you and the other hand will die within a few minutes. Addons - Are you ready to say goodbye? - No, Wait! Not what you think. No matter who I am, do not do this. Look, it's a mistake ... I have no brothers. Damn. I'll deal with you from what you say. - I hear? - You want to destroy us? Max. I'm not Max. - Damn. - Why do think I can play? I look like a violinist? There I was supposed to be here. Thi-I saw the name on the list. And I checked the profile Thi. Max students. I thought I would stop at the airport, but not verified. I expect you to believe. After all that happened? Would you like Dave, But I tell you the truth. - Who are you? - Do you think I'm going to say? Try .. quiet! Everyone to calm down. Who are you? If you say ... My friends would be in danger. And my family. And we? I had a sister. Thi does not matter. Crazy fool! How many pro like you were there? Asshole. Do you think I get involved? Max, if you want us to believe, You have to prove who you are. If you do not want to tell us and then show us. Empty your pockets! Now! And passports. Take out of pocket ... Tell the truth. Are you happy now? Stupid stupid! Enough for now. - Where are you you? - I wanted to urinate. Addons I say, without confrontation, Dave. Addons, however, they talk all the time. I did everything you asked me. I have a passport. The identity and details. It's not Max, is another. Addons A mysterious visitor, Addons at stake now. I got her passport .. Do not touch. Do not touch it. They take a hell damn life. Addons you have demonstrated your competence in action, Addons but not surprising. Strength and the description is your point. All right. So ... then .. and in peace, right? Addons I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can not do that. Addons I have an additional task for you. Addons I want you, to kill one of the passengers. Addons not have much time. Addons I offer you three minutes. tick .. tock Addons ... Okay. Who would you kill? - What happened? - He spent more than 6 minutes. Dave ... - No, no. - But you have to do it. - Listen. - You have to do this. You promised. Do it! Put the. Dave .. please help! None of your business! Damn! Please! Stop you! Addons Thi time has expired, Dave. Damn. - No, no. - Stopping You. What are you doing? I do it just to stop it. He wants to ... I do it just to stop it. Addons Thank you for participating in the game ... Addons "Resist or Die". Now you understand. Addons Unfortunately, the failure of Dave, and failure is You are so ... Sarah should be dead. Lord! He died in vain, He died in vain. Use Headsetnya Addons Addons Wear I can not do what you ask. I can not do what you ask. He died. Addons Yes I see, Gwen, but do not worry. Addons you will receive another assignment. Addons you have to seduce Max. You should store it somewhere. We can not go from here ... I can not see it. You have seen. You must be clean, Max. Asshole. I killed him anyway. Release. Be careful. Sitting quietly. Lord! Damn. That's all right. Do you think this plane was going to die? I do not know. Maybe. Yes. What are you doing? Please help me. If not, my brother would die. I can not afford it. - What do you do now? What? - Luggage can be accessed here. - Please. - That's what I thought. - Wait. - In my bag, I have a laptop. With him we have access to the Internet. - Internet? - We can help. Find out what makes us hostage. Must enter the cabin. Addons Your job is not complete. I tried ... I tried! Addons Do not let him reach the trunk. Addons stopped him! Addons you have 3 minutes or she would die. Can see and hear everything you do. You should not mix. But, you have to do something, Gwen. - I have to get out. - No, no, no, please! Addons three minutes. Gwen Addons and you fail in your mission. Addons View Hi, if you die, Just like your friend ... Addons not have to kill his brother. Addons Come, Jo, you lose the show. Addons I think you like these things. Addons may prefer younger men. What is your problem? Addons I put a mirror in front of you. Addons To see how good you are. Addons Although ... Addons All of us have blood now in our hands. No, please, do not do this. It's the only way to save my child. Please. No! You should get the boot. - You have to move. I can not see him and for a. - Leave it alone. Just help me. Select it. Damn. Damn. What's this? What about the smell? Max's sister. What? You can not. It is. I saw some notes. God, is dead. They killed earlier. Lord! Damn. Damn. I have found. Sophie. Come on, ride. All right. In the ... Access ... Sophie ... Are online. Sophie. Sophie. Sophie. My child. No! Lord! He killed my mother. What is the address? That should be good. It will be good. Have to go. I'm sure it works. Give me a laptop. Bastard! Do not move asshole. Stand still. Who are you? He asked me. I'm just a pilot. I swear to God ... Why are you broken laptop? - I just do what I say. - Who? Who told you? - Crocodile. - Who? I do not know. I've never seen the face. I do not know. I do not know. Think! What do you know about the crocodile? he got my family. My wife. My son. I came home yesterday. with ... An error .. Lord, you mistake. I was in the bathroom. There I got the message. What message? "Do not let your life." He said that he killed if it does not do what it says. I can not afford it. I can not let that happen. I just what to do. He killed my mother. I killed them all. All dead. To Alice. Please! If you fly, many will die and more innocent people. People die every day but not my family. Please, this is crazy. God knows what we can do. What about him? I'm sorry. Addons Ten minutes before impact, Mr. Calahan. Do not. Please. Addons One listen to one of the poisoning helping our friend? Or go back to the cabin Addons - I keep my wife and kids? Do not listen. Addons - Please. - Who wants to die first? Addons - wife or child. - He had killed them both. Do not listen. Addons - Do not think about and ... - Back to the cabin now. Addons - Or your lovely wife will die. - No! Addons Back in the cabin or I cut off your head. Do not listen. Stop! Addons I want to see again, this video. Addons Before you die. Addons I think that at least once to feel ... Addons That you are guilty. Addons But it seems that I'm asking too much, final quality of your account. I remember him. He went by himself. Addons Lucy Turner. Addons Age: 15 years. Addons You were there. Addons you all. Online Addons, see what happens. Addons you must beat all the competitors, and Gwen are the worst. Addons A false holiness. A hypocrite hiding behind religion. Addons Dave really enjoys his suffering ... Addons and ridiculed it. And when it decided to publish it, Addons friend Rory also commented. Addons This kid has a big mouth. Addons now calmer. Addons Then came Max. He has destroyed more than 30 sites. Addons like to work hard with his hands. You do not kill Max, is not it? You do not kill Max. You kill the wrong people, stupid. Addons you kill the wrong people. Addons But do not worry. One to capture the real Max. Addons soon. Addons And he will suffer. Addons Now, where are we? Addons Alan was very funny. Addons We all know this is nepolitico and, but you, Jo ... Addons you Inga what do you do? Addons Enough ... You look. Addons - really like to see .. - I'm drunk. Addons I hereby apologize for anything. You become pregnant. Addons A pathetic excuse for your life miserable. But even so self-centered, to see my son die? Addons - What have you done with my daughter? - Meriþi not a girl. Addons The only thing you should do it the waters and the panic button. You killed my mother. Your family and pilot and the innocent people you killed. Addons you sweep the floor with my daughter Lucy. Addons This is a service of destruction for the people. Ace knows not receive anything. Addons - They divert attention. - No one cares about it. Nothing is kept in mind. Asshole. No one will know of this incident. Addons Eli and me again, Jo. This has created Addons The best video game. Addons Of course, all about my identity, will be removed. Addons Before your death, to be watched again and again ... Addons Eye for eye, my dear. Addons What have you done with my daughter? Please. It's okay? Addons I'm afraid not. Addons That's very nice and interesting. I do not believe it. You're a liar. He is calling your name. Addons - I think it will stop ... - Do not believe you. Addons I and my family, Jo. Addons like you. Addons I am very busy. Addons Busy, with wild animals. Cursed be you. He and an honor to be your daughter? Have you ever thought why her daughter was murdered? With a father like you, it's no wonder. Addons 6 minutes into the deadly crash. Addons Goodbye, Jo. The official report says as a private jet has collapsed Norwegian coast. It seems that the plane flew very low when it lost cabin pressure. It seems that the accident occurred off the coast. More bodies found in the trunk. It remains to be confirmed If a company on ... Search is stopped. Alleged killer crocodile remains a mystery. Addons Hi Lucy. Addons - How are you? - My name is Sophie. No Addons Your name Lucy. Lucy. Addons you have to introduce myself and I. Addons My name is Robert Turner. Addons Now, come here ... Addons There are some people, who wants to meet you. Hi Lucy. I'm Annie. Ed has always come to tell your sister. Now let's clean up your body. Addons TRANSLATED BY GOOGLE fromIndonesianto English ThanksGoogleTranslate TranlatebyEcp27 - Have a good day. - Hey, if you need a place to stay there's an old couch in my basement. My mom will never know. Was there a second watch? Was anyone keeping time? It was a tie, Paige. You and Emily tied. You need to be home where you're safe. You could chain me to this porch and I'd still never touch you like that again. I got off the phone with Mrs. Potter's housekeeper. Mrs. Potter had a heart attack. Paige? I'm sorry, Emily. I wanted you to know that. - I think maybe you're being framed. - What changed your mind? I think somebody might be trying to do the same thing to me. So this is what a real date with Ezra Fitz looks like. Lead the way. I gave your mom the museum ticket. - Why would you do that? - A has something on me, and... A has something on all of us, Hanna. Okay, so your sister's pregnant. How'd that happen? I figure pretty much the usual way. It's not really a "how" question, it's more of a "why" question. Well, I mean, I guess Melissa could have gone all maternal but I doubt it. Ugh, this is so creepy. Where are they now? Philadelphia. Shopping. What do you think this means? I don't know, but Toby wanted us to have it. There. It's in Braille, so... - You want to see this, Aria? - No. I can see just fine from here. Okay. The first letter's a B. A. It's an A. I think it's gonna tell us who A is. D? B-A-D. Bad. That's the whole message? Bad? - What's it supposed to mean? - It means you got punked. Toby doesn't trust us. I don't blame him. I don't think he'd mess with us like this. You'd be surprised what people are capable of. Guys, we have to figure this out. This might be a joke, but it could be real. Look, either way, Toby's not the enemy. You know what, guys? I'm gonna go. What was that all about? How should I know? Doesn't look like very much. Well, it's all we have. The rest is gone. Mom, Mrs. Potter doesn't need that money anymore. No, but we can't keep it. No, not keep it but I don't know, maybe we could give it to somebody who needs it. I love you for thinking that but I just want this nightmare to be over. I'm putting the money back in the safe deposit box. What is left of it. - I'll see you tonight. - All right. Bye, Mom. I left a wake up call for 9. Do you want something to eat? You mean this is one of those basement breakfast places? I don't know how long we can keep doing this. Well, it won't be long. - You'd go back to your foster parents? - Not a chance. But I've saved up enough to get out to Arizona. I have a friend in Flagstaff. You gonna miss me? It was nice knowing when something goes bump in the night, it's you. What have you got to be afraid of? Forgot this. Honey? Put on gloves if you're gonna do the dishes. Right. - Hey. - Hey. I can't do this anymore. Last night after I left, I felt awful. I'm sorry for what I did and what almost happened. I should have figured it out. At least I should have listened to you. Yeah, well, it was terrible but all I could think about was my mom. I'm sorry. I was so mean. - Well, I had it coming. - No. I was thinking. A could have given that ticket to mom but they made you do it to make it hurt more. I want to say that it's all A's fault but I'm the one who gave your mom that ticket. I don't like knowing what I'm capable of. Yeah, but you didn't go through with it. Okay? That's the difference. It was a silent auction, and a private book-signing and coffee with the author. I liked his early work, that book about the teacher in Newark. Do you want coffee with Leonard Addams and an autographed book? Count me in. What was the name of the Newark book? Loose Leaf. That was good, wasn't it? Well, why don't you come with us, Ella? How many people can you bring? - As... As many as I want. - Come with us, Ella. All right, I will. You know, Aria might be right about this. Toby does have every reason to give us a hard time. I suppose, but that's just not the feeling that I got from talking to him. - Do you know what I mean? - Yeah, I do. - Hey. - Hey. What is with you and the Artful Dodger? - Who? - Caleb. Thought the thing at the meet was a one-off. - It was. - We just saw you talking to him. You gave him something that looked like a wet mitt. - It was his hat. - What are you doing with his hat? Why shouldn't I have his hat? Hanna, maybe you're looking for something a little edgier after Sean. - But this guy is dark. - Spencer, he's not that dark. He's dark enough. Well, he's no Arthur Dodger, whoever that is. Yeah, he's just had it tough. Are you two on speaking terms again? - Of course we are. - You need to be careful about that guy. It seems to me we had this conversation once about Toby. I'm looking for Coach Fulton. - Is the coach expecting you? - The coach is avoiding me. - That's what the coach is doing. - Are you a parent? Yes, I'm a parent. Nick McCullers. My daughter is Paige McCullers. I have your daughter in English Comp. I'm Ezra Fitz. The coach. Why don't we walk to the principal's office see if we can find Coach Fulton? I've seen the principal and all I got was politically correct double-talk. About the agenda in this place that's penalizing my daughter. Taking opportunities and giving them to someone who doesn't deserve them! Everybody gets a fair chance here, Mr. McCullers. We go out of our way to make sure it works. My girl is the best swimmer on that team. You can't give it to somebody... - ...just because... - You're in a cafeteria, Mr. McCullers with kids trying to have lunch. I don't think that's the audience you want, is it? Hello, Mrs. Marin. I'm James Leland. Have a seat, Mr. Leland. I'm sorry. My regular assistant didn't make your appointment. All I know is... - ...you need to speak to an officer. - Ah. I'm Esther Potter's nephew. She died recently. I'm sorry. She was a loyal customer. I'd like to talk to you about her accounts, her safety deposit box. Um... Actually, we were under the impression Mrs. Potter had no living relatives. She certainly was the last of the Potters. Her sister married my grandfather up in Syracuse, where I'm from. I think technically that makes me a great-nephew. Yes. Well, uh, the State Revenue Agency will need to see your ID before I can release any information or give access to the safe deposit box. - I thought so. - Yeah. I brought copies. Oh, good. Leland Daley? Yes, we're architects. I will get these to the Revenue Agency. It's a little late in the day to expect a response. I have business in the area. I'm here for a few days. - My cell number's on there. - Of course. Were you and your aunt, uh, close? For most of my life she was a birthday card with a $5 bill in it. But she never missed a birthday. I understand. How about you? How well did you know my aunt? My great-aunt. Oh. She came in once a year. - Like Santa Claus. - Heh. She was very sweet. When I called, they told me that you had spoken to her just before she died. I'd like to know what you thought of her. - I don't know what I could tell you. - We could talk about it over drinks. Uh... I don't know. Heh. Consider it. You've got the number. I will get these to the Revenue office. Thank you. I didn't know my dad was coming. He wanted to know how somebody could beat me. If I slacked off. I didn't. You know I didn't. I told him we tied but you got the slot. - Because I'm gay? - No. I didn't say anything. He must have asked around. But I didn't tell him. I swear. I have to go to class. You can't make it to any teacher conferences? I can, I just need to reschedule for tomorrow. You don't have to see all of them. You should meet her French teacher, Mr. Carinci and, oh, are you going to meet Ezra? - Ezra? - Ezra Fitz, her English teacher. Aria's crazy about him, and I can see why. He's very smart, he's attractive, sensitive. Does he also play guitar? Uh, not that I know of, but he does know how to handle a loose cannon. Today Nick McCullers showed up. McCullers. From the library board? The same one, with the very same paranoia. He was about to launch into the gay agenda there in the cafeteria. Ezra totally calmed the waters, completely defused the situation. - It was something to see. - Mm. I'm sorry I missed that. You should meet him. You'll like him. I'm late. Listen, uh, Ella. I thought maybe we could pick up where we left off. Maybe next Friday? Sure. Uh, I can't. I'm actually going to a book signing with Ezra. - Leonard Addams. - Addams? I thought you hated Addams. I liked his early stuff. - Rain check? - Yeah, rain check. Toby? Can I talk to you a second? I can't talk. Something's up with the DA. The lawyer's driving me over to Dad's office. Tell me, was that supposed to be a joke? Were you trying to get back at me? - Lf you were... - I don't know what you're talking about. I'm talking about what I found in my book. - The braille you wanted me to have. - That was no joke. Bad? The message was "bad." What does that mean? Am I supposed to buy a Michael Jackson album? You're reading it wrong. I can't do this now. Come back Saturday in the morning. Jenna's out at her flute lesson. I think you're taking a big chance with this guy. Okay, I am a very good judge of character. Is that why you fixed Aria up with Noel Kahn? Noel Kahn had everyone fooled. Maybe Caleb is the same. It's only Hanna. I wasn't asking who you were on the phone with. Do you want the last bit of cobbler? I can just bring it up for you. No, thanks. Okay. - What do you mean, "only Hanna"? - It's my mom. Things are still sub-zero around here. Did you tell her about Paige's dad? No point. She'll say it's my fault for choosing a disgusting lifestyle. Paige is such a knob. - I don't think it's all her fault. - What do you mean? What's going on between you and Aria? It's nothing you have to worry about. You were snarking at each other like you were on a reality show. The Real Teens of Rosewood. Oh, tell me about Toby. He says we have what he wanted us to have. It's the right message, I'm just reading it wrong. He wants me to come to his house Saturday. Are you going? If I don't, how are we gonna figure this out? I'm shut out with Melissa and lan. - Where are you? - What do you mean? I'm right here. Any fire truck you can hear at your house I can hear at mine. Oh, my God. Are you in his apartment? Are you on the bed? No. I'm not on the bed. - Is he there? - No... Not exactly. Is he taking a shower? He's getting take-out for dinner. And this call's becoming very 1-900. To talk to a hot English teacher, press 3. Call ending now. - Tomorrow? - Yeah, tomorrow. - Hey. - Hey. - Sorry, it took so long. - It's okay. Looks like Rose of Sharon has been discovered. Big crowd at the take-out counter. I meet your dad tomorrow. I know. I was thinking this is gonna be a bit more complex than the usual parent-teacher discussion. I mean, I can see your mom as a colleague, she's safe. But your dad is your dad. Which is complex. You will like him, he'll like you. Just be your normal incredible self. What is he after? He's probably just what he says he is. A nephew cleaning up after a distant relative. Probably? I'll know more after the second martini. Hello. Caleb, wow. Hello, Mrs. Marin. Hanna thought it was about time... - ...you and me met. - I did? I did. Um, Mom, this is Caleb. Rivers. Nice to meet you, Caleb. Mrs. Marin, you have a lovely home, from what I've seen of it. Caleb is new to Rosewood this year. They brought me in to class the place up. I see. Hanna, can I talk to you for a second? Is he some sort of rebound from Sean? What? No. I don't want you alone with him in the house. Go out. If you're gonna study, go to the library. You let me study here with Sean. Well, I knew Sean. Sean was a minister's son. Sean called you "Hanna Banana." I'll get that for you. - Hi. - Hello. - I'm looking for Mrs. Marin. - Come on in. She's, uh, in the kitchen with Hanna. - Hanna? - Her daughter. Are you her son? No. I'm just the guy who opens the door. Mr. Leland, this is my daughter Hanna. - Hello. - Hello, Hanna. Oh, I forgot to get your signature on this. Um... It's just part of authorizing you to look at the safe deposit box. Sure. Thank you. Okay. Um... - I won't be late. - Okay. What are you doing coming to the front door? It was a better way to meet than her tripping over me behind the furnace. Yeah, but just knocking on the door? Why couldn't you ask me? - You would have said no? - My mom thinks you're trouble. - You don't like her boyfriend. - He's not her boyfriend. He's a customer at the bank. Some architect from Syracuse. Really. What do you mean "really"? He had a crappy plastic pen. So? So architects draw for a living. They tend to be pen snobs, strictly Montblanc and beyond. Why does he creep you out? - He doesn't creep me out. - Yes, he does. You get a bad vibe from the guy. - It's complicated. - Tell me. I like complicated. Ari does a great deal of independent reading. You can see she's excited by the idea of fiction. It's one of the things that makes her a good student. - So you're taking my wife out. - Uh... Sorry? Well, you're going out with my wife. To, uh, some book event? Right, right. The book signing next week. An event for an author we both like, Leonard Addams. Leonard Addams. Do you...? Do you think he's good? I like some of his stuff very much. Ella's a fan, too. Well, I think he's a fake. Very overrated. He has his critics. He certainly wouldn't fit in to what I'm trying to do with Aria's class. Is he really your idea of a good writer? Well, I like a lot of writers for a lot of different reasons. Hmm. Ha, ha. Yeah. Ella used to hate him. I can remember she threw his latest novel clear across our bedroom. She was so angry. But, uh, look at you. You've turned her around. How'd you manage to do that? A silent auction. For charity. When are you supposed to see Toby? Tomorrow, while Jenna's at her music lesson. - Take it. - No. No, you take it. The storm has passed. What was going on with you two? Okay, so, you know how I went to that museum with Ezra? - Yeah. - Well, A tried to get Hanna to ruin it. Ruin it how? A gave me another ticket and made me give it to Aria's mom. God, Hanna, why didn't you tell us what was happening? Well, I tried to stop it. I mean, her mom's car didn't just stall. Caleb fixed it to keep from getting there, and that's why I owe him. He's the one who's been breaking into vending machines at school. I mean, he's practically living there. In school? Oh, they found his stuff, so he's not sleeping there anymore. He's sleeping in my basement. Wait. Rewind that a little for me. - Does your mom know? - No, but... - ...it's for a couple of nights. - A couple of nights? - Are you crazy? - This is stunning. Guys. Oh, wow. Hold on. Turn around. It fits perfectly. Let me just pull this over it. The length looks great, it's beautiful. I want it to be perfect. He likes lace. I'm not misinterpreting. Your dad came in like he wanted to chop me off at the knees. And I'm telling you that's not my dad. I recognize him from the picture of everybody on the glacier. - I'm serious. - So am I. I act like I'm not in love with his daughter. He's acting like he wants to challenge me to a duel over your mother. - I don't understand. - I do. - He hates me. - He doesn't hate you. He hates me or he's crazy. No, he does not hate you. He couldn't. Then he's crazy. Pam. Oh, hey, Ella. How are you? I'm okay. I was gonna call you. Then I saw you were coming for the parent-teacher conferences. I want you to know the school is not gonna be bullied by Nick McCullers. Everybody here loves Emily. What about Nick McCullers? Uh, well, he came in making a big deal about how he thinks Emily's getting special treatment because she's gay. Everybody knows Emily's the better swimmer. Except McCullers. He came here to school and said that? In front of everyone. Students, teachers. - Was Emily there? - She was. Hello? Hello? You better put that back. Put it back or she'll know you were in here. I'm sorry. I knocked. The door was open. I heard you, but I couldn't answer the door. I was on the phone. My lawyer called. The DA is dropping the charges against me. They're not gonna charge you with killing Alison? I didn't get the details but he said the blood evidence was corrupted. The district attorney can't go to trial without it. - They're finished with you? - Not finished. They can charge me anytime they find new evidence. But for right now, I'm free. Once I get this ball and chain off my leg. I'm waiting for my dad to take me to the courthouse for that. I could drive you. If you want me to. So your mom didn't believe you when you said Leland was shady. You don't sound very surprised. I'm used to that, that's why I called Syracuse University. Talked to a lady at the school of architecture about how I was thinking of applying and did she know a James Leland. You just called up and asked? People love to talk. And guess what? James Leland went to S.U. And opened an office in town. - See? He's legit. - Yeah. He was a pretty good architect. Right up until he dropped dead two years ago. Introducing James Leland. Wait, my mom said his ID checked out. Right. You ask a computer "Is James Leland related to this Potter lady?" The computer says yes. But you didn't ask if James Leland was still alive. Knowing the right questions is better than having all the right answers. Toby? Mr. Dugan called with the good news. Did you hear? He told me. We can get that awful thing off your leg right now. The cab's waiting. That's all right. I've got a ride. Emily. No, it's me. Spencer. It's really very nice of you, but I'm here now. I'm going with Spencer. I see. Hanna, the man's ID checked out. It checked out because there was a James Leland related to Mrs. Potter but this isn't him. This is somebody else. If I tell the state people some story about the man being an imposter it'll just draw attention, which we do not want. Well, we have to do something. I'm not doing anything based on what Caleb says. Leland's coming to the bank. I will show him the safe deposit box. And we will go from there. - All right, well, call me when he leaves. - I will. Hey. I thought you were gonna be gone all day. Uh, change of plans. Good. I'll take you and Mike out for dinner later. Okay? Hey, Dad? How were the parent-teacher meetings? Oh, they were fine. You know, I really like that one teacher, your French teacher. - Well, how do you like Mr. Fitz? - He was okay. Okay? All right, listen, I'm gonna tell you the truth. I thought he was a lightweight. What do you mean? Well, there's just not a lot of depth there. Boy, that's funny, because I like him. He's a good teacher. I can see why he's a hit with the kids. I mean, he's a nice-Iooking guy, he's easygoing. He does that boyish smile thing too much, but that must work for him. What's that thing about judging a book by its cover? Sometimes you can get a pretty good idea what's inside based on the cover. - You know, he's published. - Online journals aren't published. Published is ink and paper. Well, you were with him like, what, half an hour? I'm in his class every day. Well, every English department has one full of charm and promise. It's... Look, I understand that you and your mother see more of him than I do. Perhaps that's why I have a clearer perspective. What's Mom have to do with this? Well, she's not immune to that kind of charm. This book-signing thing he's taking her to? That's not just Mom. Half of the teachers in the department are going. Oh. Listen, when Mike gets home, we'll pick a place for dinner. Three thousand dollars? Three thousand, two hundred seventy-five. It's funny. You don't have expectations, and then you end up having expectations. The family myth was that aunt Esther had a lot of cash socked away somewhere. A lot more than 3,000. The bank doesn't encourage people to keep cash in safe deposit boxes. She spoke to you about keeping money here? No. We never talked about it. Who else besides you would have access to this box? Any officer. You'd have to have the customer's key or the master, like I used. What are you thinking? Just thinking. Where do you bank, James? In Syracuse? Where do I bank? Your personal accounts, business accounts. What's the name of your bank? It doesn't matter. The rules on access are the same, industry-wide. Ashur. Dagan. Take position. Begin. Good Tullius has taken his leave? He has. And what has he carried from our house this time? Ashur, fucking victor! Rest, and tend wounds. Tomorrow brings end of contest and appropriate reckoning. I would have words. As would I. Accompany me to town, and let us break them. Melitta. Once they have departed, something I would ask of you. I have felt your eyes lingering. Yet they always turn away when I meet them. As should yours. Then I must tear them out, if they are to obey such a command. You must stop this. I have vowed to, a thousand times a day. To return to drink and whores, forcing you from my mind. Then I catch glimpse of you. And my world ends. I have never felt greater love than when I hold my husband in my arms. Gannicus. What seizes you? You drop guard, allowing Barca advantage. The man almost had you. I was lost in a moment. Caught by a dream. Then wake from it. Leave us. You are a Gaul, are you not? Yes, Domina. Many believe the seed of a Gaul to rival that of Jupiter himself. Tell me. How many sons sprang from your father's cock? Five, Domina. And from his father before him? The same. Your subligaria, remove it. You are never to speak of this. Do you understand, slave? Yes, Domina. Well, I would not look at you. The sight turns stomach. Enter me. And do not cease until you have spilled seed. My very first memories were formed within this arena, attending the games as a child, upon my father's knee, too young to yet form words. Yet even then, I knew that I would give my life to this place. A noble calling. One I had dreamed you would share in. Was I not raised here as well? Upon your knee? You were. I fear it is the one thing we hold common now. And you stand me at fault, as you always have. I stand you accountable for your actions. You have caused much heartache. Never heeding my words. Fighting me at every turn, your ambition, the bolt hurled against my wishes. And here is where it has led. Two men at constant odds. Mired in the ruins of what might have been. Ruins I aided in creation. I wanted you to join me here, to see them buried. You are my son, Quintus. And I will always love you, no matter the path you take. What moves such downpour, after eternal drought? Tullius makes offer. Position in the opening games. - At what price? - Gannicus. And your response? Without meaning, if you are not by my side upon the day's arrival. You give me until tomorrow, and yet now press for answer? A day, a year... A man either knows his heart or he does not. Stand with me. And we shall rise together. I will not turn from my wife. You really did not want this life, did you? Well, whatever one you find in this world, I pray it brings you peace. Father. A memento. Of days past. I could not do it. Sit beside me. I had the instrument in hand. His back was turned. One simple motion, and our troubles forever removed. But when the moment came, he spoke to me with affection, giving voice to sentiment. I was wrong to push you to such thoughts against him. Some actions carry too steep a price. Even in refraining, the ground beneath us pitches. Tomorrow, we must prepare to leave this house. You've given your answer? The only one my tongue could ever speak. You honour me. I attempt to gain the sun, only to plunge into the depths, while Tullius rides with Apollo, bribing his way with an amphora of mulsum and promises to the air. It does not matter. We must leave this house, with nothing but our clothes, a few possessions. Not even a slave to attend us. We have lost everything. Not everything. The men have fought with passion and honour. A testament to your work as Doctore. I but carry torch lit by more deserving predecessor. He'd have been proud. This house has seen many champions, Oenomaus, and yet you stand tallest among them. I have not the words, Dominus. Those who do, tend to weave them to undeserved advantage. Where do we stand upon the rankings? Eight men have yet to hold victory. And one suffers grievous injury. It pains to lose Dagan. The Syrian had shown much promise. More so than Ashur. Yet Dagan is now blind to attack from the right. A disadvantage in the arena. Well, let us shift from the unfortunate to the blessed. Who holds the pinnacle? Two men own equal victory. Crixus and Gannicus. They are to face each other in the final contest. Gannicus is removed from contention. I have sent word to Tullius agreeing to terms of sale. Sale to Tullius? Well, he makes offer. I had thoughts towards refusal, but they have dimmed. I would speak towards reigniting them. Strong words, Oenomaus. Quintus has plied me with many upon the subject. He inflates Gannicus' worth, at great cost to this house. Apologies, but in this your son and I are in agreement. None stand more worthy to hold the title of champion. You allow personal relation to cloud judgement. True, Gannicus is trusted friend. Yet I speak from position of Doctore, one, but a moment ago, you sought to praise. If I pull acceptance to Tullius, we will be excluded from future games. We would be forced to beg for matches in the lesser venues of Nola or Neapolis. A heavy price, as is often that of the honourable choice. Let the gods show us the way, then. If Gannicus proves himself against Crixus, he shall remain. Yet if he falls, he shall leave this house, following the others that have failed to honour it. Dominus. I am to be sold to fucking Tullius? Only if you fall. Clear mind. Prove yourself the man I know you to be. Doctore. Let us begin. And know who truly stands champion of this house. Crixus. Gannicus. Take position. A second chance to prove myself against you. - The gods have heard my prayers. - And they curse you in the answering. Begin. Father, we're near ready to leave. Pause a moment and see contest ended. Finish preparations. Crixus again shows form. As does Gannicus. Both men you have often praised. Perhaps you have learned something after all these years. Perhaps. You have lost sense. All attention is upon the match. No one will notice your absence for many hours. They will brand me fugitivus! They will not find you. Buy passage far from Capua and the things that have been done to you. - Where did you get this? - Spirited from Gaia's things. They will not be missed. You fade with each day. Do not make me bear witness to your passing. - Come with me. - I attend Domina. My absence would be noticed. Go, before contest is ended. I will see you again, one day. I swear to you. Go. A match for the ages. I shall miss this. Water. Crixus, victor. Why did you drop your guard? You are champion now. That is all that matters. I would not thought it possible. To be said of many things this day. Quintus, it's not too late... Father? Fetch the Medicus! Your father burns high fever, a worrisome condition for a man of his years. Well, is there nothing to be done? I have not the herbs. And the hour is late for us to procure them. Go. I'll watch over him. I'll pound on every door in Capua until we have what is needed. And I would aid in the effort. And be welcomed for it. Come. Keep him still until we return. A little wine, if seized by fit. Drink. Move Tullius' wine from sight. Apologies, Domina. I would have permission to see Gannicus. You ask this now? I know he is to be sold tomorrow. I would have final words, before he departs. I would share drink with an old friend. Is that all I am? A friend? Gannicus... I do not care for honey in my wine. It serves only to mask bitter taste. A blessing in such moments. You are to be sold to Tullius. Oenomaus warned of it should I fall to Crixus. You let Crixus win. Why would you do such a thing? Because I cannot stay within these walls, to gaze upon you every day and be denied your touch. I have never turned from challenge, yet I am without strength to face this one. Then it is for the best. Because, despite my words, I stand as weak. I want no wine. Medicus gave order. Drink. Should help you rest. My son gives up everything for you. As I for him. You truly love him? With all my heart. He is never happier than when he is by your side. Tell me I have been mistaken about you. Tell me you are not the serpent I have thought you to be. I am not. I'm far worse. I never cared what you thought of me. My lack of breeding, my absence of family or name of worth. These things I cannot deny. But how low you considered your son, a man I love more than life itself, that could not be tolerated. So I began poisoning your beloved honey wine. My intent not to rob you of life, only to mimic illness. A cough, increasing in its discomfort, easily blamed on Capua's dust and heat. It brought much joy when you departed for the wet shores of Sicilia. And Quintus, how he flourished when removed from overbearing shadow. And then you returned to torture him, as you did all those years. So I began bringing you your honeyed wine again, to force you back to Sicilia. Yet it was not enough. You were not moved, despite ailing health. No. A more permanent solution was required between us, one that I added to Tullius' gift. Quintus will not forgive Tullius this. He will strike in your name and Gaia's death will be avenged. Breathe, breathe. Breathe! You curse this house. No, Father. I elevate it. Breathe. Melitta! Melitta, breathe. Melitta, breathe! No! Domina. Melitta... The wine... It was the wine. Take her. Oenomaus must not know she came to your cell. She was never with you. Return to the ludus. Go! English - UK Four years ago You know the drill. No large purchases. No boats. No cars. No down payments on that dream condo down in Boca, huh? Nothing that'll red flag I.A. or the I.R.S. Where's Kate? Right behind you. You're late. I had to cover my tracks. Your fiance still in the dark? Good girl. Let's keep it that way. I hear there's rumblings about north beach. Yeah, well, let 'em rumble. We're in the clear. You trust me, right? As long as the circle stays tight, no one can break us. We're family, right? What? - Company. - Take care of it. Who are you? ! Amanda Kane. Reporter? - I've been tracking you and your whole crew. - How long? - Six months... long enough for me to expose you and your circle of dirty cops. North beach bribery scandal is about to blow wide open. No proof, no story. Oh, I've got names, photos, e-mails, drop-offs... The story's happening. I've done my homework. You're not like the others. Those cops are a disgrace to the uniform, but you were top of your class. Where'd you go wrong? You'll never know. What was it? Get out of here. Go! Townsend agency Today Oh, for a middle-aged mob accountant, you guys, that guy was pretty fast. Yes, but you did run him down in 6-inch Louboutins. Color me impressed. Why do I miss all the good stuff? Because every time we chase down a bad guy on foot, you drive. Ah. Well, I am kind of a genius that way. - Who's the hottie on deck? - He's cute. - Our latest client, and he's engaged. - Of course he is. Charlie, we're all here. - Morning, angels. - Good morning, Charlie. I'd like you to meet Scott Foster. He's here because his fiancee disappeared off a cruise ship. It was supposed to be a 3-day trip. Miami to the Bahamas. That was two weeks ago. Your fiancee went on a cruise without you? She's working a story. She's a journalist. - And what was she chasing on the high seas? - She never talks about her work. The cruise line registers their ships in the Bahamas, which puts this case out of American jurisdiction. Cruise line give you any leads? They've been incredibly helpful, but the fact is, they don't have any answers, and there's no evidence of foul play aboard their ship. If she's alive, I need to find her, and if she's not- let's just stay positive. Right now she's just a missing person. Scott, before we take your case, there is one last piece of business we need to settle internally. You'll hear from us. Thank you. All right, we'll walk you out. Right this way. Internal business? Charlie, don't leave us hanging. Our missing journalist's name is Amanda Kane. I'm guessing Amanda Kane is a blast from your past? She's the reporter who broke the north beach bribery scandal wide open. She destroyed your career. No. I destroyed my career. You sounded almost convincing. If you want to bow out... No. Charlie's the boss. This could be more than just a case for you, Kate. Signing on is your call. I'll respect your decision. There'll be no judgment. Well... You know me... Not really one to sit on the sidelines. Count me in. Pack your bags, angels. The next sunrise cruise tour sets sail first thing tomorrow morning. Once upon a time, there were three young women who got into very big trouble, and now they work for me. My name is Charlie. Enjoy your stay. Enjoy. Thank you. Welcome aboard the Caribbean dreamer, Mr... Bosley. I'll be in communication from my cabin. Stay in touch. Will do. - Abbs, are you in yet? - Approaching eagle eye now. Now explain to me again why you're undercover in silk escada, - ...and I'm in itchy cotton work clothes. - Life is so unfair. Yeah, well, next mission, we are so trading thread counts. - Your drink miss? - Thank you. - Eve, you in position? - Sitting tight by the pool deck. - Eve, that sounded like a mojito. Piña Colada. I take my cover very seriously. All right, guys. Time to find out what happened to Amanda Kane. - Who are you? - I.T. I didn't call I.T. Of course you didn't. You're not authorized to. But let's not whip out our pay grades. It'll only embarrass you. I'm sorry. I'm here to fix the bugs in your system. There's no bugs in my system. Yeah, well, you might want to double-check that, sport. Yeah, I'm gonna need about 20 minutes to run a full diagnostic. Might be faster if you sync up with me from the port side. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. - Okay, Bos. I'm in. - Copy that. Starting the download now. Ms. French. I found just the cabin upgrade you were looking for. - You work fast. - Follow me. This was Amanda Kane's cabin. Nice work. It's been over a week. You think we're gonna find anything? Cleaning crew might have missed something. So what happened? You know as much as I do. Amanda got on the boat and disappeared. No. I mean, what happened with you after the story broke? You can Google all the ugly details. Kate, if you don't want to tell me, I'll drop it. It was like... A bomb went off. I destroyed my life, and I hurt everyone else in the process. I lost my fiance, my career. But you know what the worst part was? What? Facing my mother. That day, she was crushed. She says she forgives me, but she hasn't looked at me the same way since. You sure you want to do this? What? Search the room? No, not search the room. Rescue a woman who ruined your life. Amanda Kane didn't ruin my life. She saved it. Now I want to return the favor. What do you think that is? No idea, but, you know, we should probably bag it and search for Amanda's prints. Abbs, I think we may have found something. Me, too. I found Amanda Kane. I downloaded the onboard surveillance footage from the last cruise. I found her wandering through the casino. The guard's coming back. Abby, send me what you've got now. Hold on, wait. It looks like the fiance on land did have a rival at sea. Amanda met a man on the ship. The guard's at the door. Abby, get out of there now. Do we have an I.D. on our shipboard Romeo? Not yet, but I ran the fingerprints on the lucite tube. They're Amanda's. Guys, check out the body language. She's not in love. She's afraid. Got him. Our mystery man is Roman stone. He works here on the ship. Casino croupier. Maybe Amanda was tracking an illegal gambling operation. - Roulette. It figures. It's a punk game. - Sounds like you speak from experience. Strictly a Texas hold'em gal. That puts you in the leadoff spot. Roman punches the clock tonight. You track Roman. We track you. Gambling, glamour... I'm in. 14 red. - Yes. Whoo! - $5,000 to the lady. Nice. Wager, sir? Maybe later. Hot night. Oh, they're all hot nights. I wasn't talking about the temperature. Okay, wait, guys. I'm sorry. Do you call these 11s or Jacks? I just get so confused. Oh, I win? Wow. How about that? Honestly, you guys, this is my first time. - Your drink? - Oh. Thank you very much. I mean, I think it's just beginner's luck. I don't know. This is so fun. All right, that's the end of my shift. Ladies and gentlemen, have a great night. Wait. Where are you guys going? Don't you want to play anymore? Was it something I said? Sheesh. I know you're not counting cards, because I spot cheaters for a living. So how do you do it? Ever hear of just being good? I make it a daily practice. - I practice being the best. - At cards? And other things. Well, you'll have to tell me about it, someplace I can hear you. I have a room. I have a suite. You win. Watch those. She's in. Nice pad for a cruise line employee. I'm an independent contractor. Better perks. Now, where were we? You move fast. - Life's short. - I have a feeling... I'm not the first girl you've brought to your suite. Why waste the night talking about other women? I like you. I like champagne. I'm gonna go freshen up. Be my guest. I caught you... Putting on lipstick. Girl's gotta have some secrets. - To mysteries. - To solving them. Damn it. Yes. The bidders have arrived. Let's get going. I have to go... And so do you. So soon? Some things are not meant to be. A flower? Yeah, but check out the tube. It's the exact same thing we found in Amanda's cabin. You guys, don't tell me, we uncovered a cartel of evil florists? Bos, can you get a match on the flower? Already tried. Got nothing. - How wide was your scan? - Seven continents. Whatever that flower is, it's one-of-a-kind. Roman's guarding his lucite-encased corsage tighter than a kid on prom night. It was important enough to make Amanda disappear. And to make Roman break a date with you. That says something. I don't like it. Too many pieces, not enough puzzle. We need a connection. You said Roman got a call? Yeah. It was kind of a mood-killer, actually. Someone told him the bidders were here, and that's when he grabbed his keycards and split. Bos, did you pack the micro cam? I did. Well, sync me up. Care to share? Cruise director's going to greet the guests at the casino. - Good to know. - I'll send pics. Good luck. Thank you. - Bos, you getting this? - Prime time HD. Check out his boutonniere. Can you rate my rewards card? - You guys get that handoff? - Pretty smooth. Running his face through the system now. Check out contestant number two. - We've I.D.'D Roman's bidders. - Is there a pattern? Well, the thinner guy's Ivan Dunski. He's got ties to the Russian mafia. And the barracuda is Erica Leone, attorney for the east coast's biggest racketeers. The other guy, Juan molina, is the leading Cuban drug trafficker. Roman's dealing out his keycards to some faces. - Faces? - Legitimate names who front for big shots in organized crime. From Kate's passenger manifest search, she's identified four possible bidders. - Three of them have already been to the casino. - Who's the last bidder? Ricardo Stancati. Accountant with Detroit mob ties. Keeps an ultra-low profile. No image, no arrests, no Internet profile. - No way to see what he looks like. - So I could go undercover as him. - Could be pretty risky, Bos. - But worth it. This is more than just a gambling ring. I can tell you he's scheduled for some casino time after his 8:00 massage. Looks like one of us is gonna have to rub down a bad guy. Good idea. Massage? No. No. Don't look at me. I'm the cruise director. I've already given up my cover. I'm a dude. You guys suck. That's nice. Just a little higher up the thigh, honey. There we go. Just a little higher, babe. There it is, sweet cheeks. Why don't you just relax and enjoy the pressure points? How's about you shut up and give me the happy ending? Okay. I'll give you a happy ending. Once upon a time... The end. Bingo. - You're back. - I am. I felt a little underdressed. You're late. The other bidders were hoping you wouldn't show. I'll be happy to disappoint them. - Sweetie? - Yes sir. - Stay close. - Thanks. See you later. 9:00. Red eleven. I'm approaching the cabin. It's 5250. Angels? The signal's jammed. Somebody doesn't want us listening. Angels? You're cutting it a little close. I'm not here for the company. I'm here to place my bid. Are you sure your employer's prepared - ...to compete in the big leagues? - You'll see. Welcome. Business is for tomorrow. Tonight... A toast. To the most beautiful flower in the world. Salud. Na zdorovie. None of you have met my boss... But he's successful because he's risk-averse. That's why you all have been drugged. The first thing to go is muscle control. In a few seconds, staying conscious won't even be chemically possible. Mr. Stancati. I take it you're not a morning person? Coffee? No thanks. That last drink had quite the kick. Yes. Yes, indeed. Well, why don't you get dressed and join us outside? Sorry for the, uh, the strip search. Trust me, it's nothing personal. All weapons and recording devices will be returned to you once you leave the island. Surely, you'd let a lady have her watch. Ah, not when it's housing a G.P.S. Transponder, no. Play with me again, and I will have you shot. You don't know where we are because I don't want you to know. We have business. Let's do it. Time to see the merchandise. It's about a 5-minute walk. Uh, watch out for snakes... And each other. Radar detected a speedboat leaving the ship last night. Guys, if bosley's been taken off-board, he could be anywhere. It's a big ocean out there. Charlie, we're hoping you can narrow things down for us. Luckily, I can. I had my contact target the search to a few key nearby islands. Most of them are owned by the requisite movie stars and corporate titans. This one is the odd man out. It belongs to Carlton Finch. With a name like that, he's got to be bad news. He is. Finch made his fortune in manufacturing, mostly using sweatshop labor. He's a tax exile who's persona non grata in several countries, - ...including ours. - Two buildings. - One looks like a plantation. - What's the other? Pineapple factory. It was closed in 1976. Clearly, someone didn't get the memo. Look at that heat signature. Yeah, I have a feeling they're not canning pineapples. - Exotic flower, active factory... - History of forced labor. Amanda must have been onto a very big story. Last time she broke a big story, she broke you along with it. All the right bad guys got busted. Let's go get her. Finch most likely has private security and top-notch surveillance. Don't worry, Charlie. Your angels know how to fly under the radar. As you can probably tell, I like to putter around in the garden. This way. But what I'm most proud of... Are the new additions. This... Is where island white is produced. It's the first of five flower processing facilities I have planned. Grown in your own fields? Right here on the island. When processed, this flower's five times more potent than poppy. Think of island white as, um... Heroin on steroids. Okay. The bidding for U.S. distribution has now started. Ricardo Stancati, you're the casino's high roller. You bid first. What's your offer? Charlie. Angels have landed. I've notified the Bahamian police. They're en route, but they're at least an hour away. From the satellite feed of the island, I've identified eight armed personnel. Use extreme caution. You need to find Bosley and Amanda. We won't let you down, Charlie. - Good luck, angels. - Thanks, Charlie. Thanks, Charlie. Thanks, Charlie. Come on. Nice house. Being a bad guy certainly has its perks. I spot one guard. There could be more inside. Let's go say hello. Well, here it is. What's the matter, Mr. Stancati? Make an offer. That's why you're here. Maybe his employers can't afford to pay. I don't have that problem. $10 million for exclusive distribution of island white, - ...in cash. - $12 million. - $15 million. - $17.5 million. I have an offer... Zero. You say island white is the most addictive narcotic on the market. Where's your proof? It takes a lot more than hired muscle and a shiny factory to impress me. You want proof? I want 100% customer retention. Follow me. Guys, I found Bosley. - What? Where? - Here... Here, and... Oh, my God. - That's Amanda Kane. - What has Finch done to her? Looks like he's turned her into a human Guinea pig. - I'm going in there. - I'm riding shotgun. I'll be your eyes and ears. Meet your first and only customer. - Who is she? - She's nobody. - She have a name? - None she remembers. Your narcotic's impressive. Just keep looking. You see this button? She controls her own dosage. Friends, family, career, future... None of these things matter to her now. This is the face of 21st-century drug addiction. Satisfied? $25 million. $30 million. $35 million. Ladies, you're off my grid. I've lost visual of you. You were right. It is a cabal of evil florists. We found Finch's flower patch. If we connect this to the sprinkler system with the rest of the greenhouse... We can wipe out every damn flower in here. Go get Amanda. I got this covered. Got it. Guys, I got eyes on Bosley, but audio contact is dead. I'll lead you in. Something's wrong. I'm losing power. Who the hell are you? No sign of Amanda. Abby? Eve? Don't move. Turn around. Turn around! The last offer I heard was $35 million. Who wants to get real? $50 million. Cash. Who is this? No I.D. Caught her sneaking outside with this. Well, you're not a reporter. Who sent you? I don't like uninvited guests. And I don't like waiting. If your security isn't airtight, we can't do business. None of us will. Put her in the cell. Hook her up. Let's go. Move it. Oh, my God. Amanda, what have they done to you? You're about to find out. Get in there. M-more. I want more. - This is private property. - Call a cop. Think you can school me? Watch me. If I shoot you now, I can't have any fun with you later. You won't have any fun with me now. I might have a little. - Yes? - It's Stone. - This better be important. - Trust me, you're gonna want to hear this. - I'm in the middle of bidding. Well, you better take a look at this first. This is the real Ricky Stancati. You've got an imposter. I appreciate the update. Ricardo. - Do we have a deal? - We have a rat. Or a cop. Or a fed. D.E.A. Agent, reporter, maybe. Listen, it doesn't matter. The point is, you're busted, and whoever you're working with... They're dead already. I don't need a gun. When I kill a man, I use my hands. Before you die, tell me something. Do you believe in an afterlife? I believe in angels. Go. Put your weapons down slowly! Put 'em down! Amanda, I'm gonna get you home. Your nightmare is over. You'll get medical attention and he returned to your familias. Looks like we closed Finch's last sweatshop. You don't mind. Charlie. We're gonna be bringing in more warm bodies than planned. Need some transport, north face of the island. I spoke to the head of the Bahamian police. Finch and the bidders have been extradited to the U.S. How about our favorite croupier? Mr. Stone was arrested when the ship docked in Miami, along with Mr. Stancati. The cruise line is very grateful. They even offered you all a free trip. If it's okay with you, Charlie, I think we'll stick to dry land for a while. Congratulations, angels, and, Kate, I want you to know how proud I am of you. Thanks, Charlie. Interesting place to meet. Somehow it just felt right. How's rehab going? - Slowly. - You're a fighter. You know, I'm never going to be able to repay you. Why did you help me? - Always with the questions, you. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's, uh, it's a force of habit. You know, I tried to tell myself that taking dirty money was just a one time thing... That I could walk away, but I couldn't. Once your story broke, it helped me realize who I had become. That's a first. I have never been thanked for destroying someone's career. I wish I could say, I took those bribes because I had no choice. Fact is, I thought I was putting bad money to good use. Spent it on the people I loved. Put my brother through school, paid my mom's mortgage... Called myself a hero, but I wasn't. Well, to be fair, you got mixed up with a very bad crew. I think I've got much better taste in friends now. So this new career... what's it really about? I want to become the person my mother can be proud of... The person I can be proud of. Well, for the record, you made a believer out of me. You know, this would make one hell of a story. No, no. I am a private detective. No, thanks. Thank you. - Hey, you. - Hey. Just came to make sure you were okay. I get it now. By rescuing Amanda, you were saving a part of yourself. I guess if you want to have a future, you have to make amends with your past, right? And you're off to a flying start. You want to get something to eat? Uh, thanks, but I have to take my mother to dinner. I told her I needed to clear the air. I predict a complete success. You don't know my mother. But I know you... And I am always in your corner. Am I moving your stuff to my place all alone, or are you gonna help me? I'm helping. I'm packing memories. You know I actually five pounds lighter than I was in high school? Do you know that none of your glasses actually match? I don't even know how a person does that. Hey, same haircut, you ask? Same barber, I say. Well, I have plenty of glassware at my place, so we'll just donate this stuff to goodwill. Whoa, hang on. You realize some of those are collectables. Really? And which is the higher ticket item... Bam-Bam or Mayor McCheese? McCheese, of course. I think that one's still good for one free refill. All right, we'll keep this one and the Sammy Sosa travel mug. And my cereal bowl. Holds the perfect serving size. Plus, you can wash a baby in it. Yeah. Don't worry, I already packed your cereal bowl. Now what are we gonna do with your tv? Well, you don't have a tv in your bedroom. Nah, I don't really like having a tv in the bedroom. You know who says that? People who have never had a tv in their bedroom. Or people who like to read or talk. Fine, but while you're reading or talking, what am I supposed to do? I don't know. Digging through your belly button seems to take up a lot of your time. So, the only place to watch tv will be downstairs in the lobby? In my house, we call that the living room. Yeah, but your mom and your sister are down there, so I'll have to put on pants. If I'm gonna put on pants, I might as well go to the movies. Alright, you can put the tv in the bedroom. Thanks. But if I ever walk in wearing a sexy nightie, and you give me one of these, I'm snapping that finger off and any other body part that looks like it. That means I can screw up 11 times. ♪ For the first time in my life ♪ ♪ I see love. ♪ so, Molly's belongings are precious gold, but you got to hide your worthless crap in my garage? I'm not hiding it. Then I'll sneak it in one box at a time. Wonderful. Lies and deception. The mortar that holds the bricks of love together. It worked for you and dad. Those were simpler times. What happened to my air hockey game? You know, Mikey, I'm not one to cast judgment on how other people choose to live their lives... Here we go. But rushing to move in with this woman is a horrible mistake that you'll regret the rest of your life. Well, don't sugarcoat it, mom. How do you really feel? Hey, what happened to all my G.I. Joe stuff? In my day, we didn't shack up with somebody until we had rings on our fingers and rice in our hair. Listen, Molly and I love each other, and getting rid of my apartment is a good way for us to save money. Well, if you really wanted to save money, you never should have moved out of this house. Yes, but that would have ended in a murder-suicide. Fine. But when she gets tired of peeling your dirty drawers off the floor, you always got three hots and a cot here with me and Jim. And 's all the incentive I need to make it work. Seriously, I can't find my stretch Armstrong, my baseball cards, nothing. Hey, I had a garage sale, okay? And you sold my stuff? Well, if you don't sprinkle in a few toys, it just looks like a sad, old shut-in having a pre-death estate sale. Oh, man. And if the guy across the street ever asks, you never wore that orange swimsuit. I promised him, no plums in the basket. Okay. I made room for some of Mike's stuff in the hall closet. I'm gonna take these things over to goodwill. Don't you dare. Those are your dad's clothes. You can't give those away. Mom, he died 25 years ago, and this leisure suit passed away ten years before that. I don't care. You're not giving them away. Oh, it still smells like daddy. Hai karate and hot sauce. It's gonna be so weird having another man living here. By the way, I was wondering if you guys could clear a little space for him in the bathroom. Ooh, that big man in our little bathroom? Yipes. Don't worry. All he's got is a razor and a toothbrush, and for some mysterious reason, a shower cap. It's not about counter space. We're worried about the beating that toilet's gonna take. Mom. Why don't we make him use the downstairs bathroom like we did with dad? There you go. Just throw in a good, industrial-strength plunger and a big scented candle. Citronella, like they use at campsites. Or we could just rent one of those porta potties and put it in the backyard. Good idea. Then it becomes the neighbor's problem. All right, this is the last of it. We got a dreamsicle and what is either a frozen tamale or a pair of yellow dress socks. I will have the dreamsicle. I'll spin the wheel on that tamale. Good luck, 'cause it was here when I moved in. So, what are you doing with this sofa? I tried to give it to goodwill, but apparently, they have a too many stains policy. I'm surprised they took your shirts. Samuel, it's yours if you want it. Uh, thank you, but my roommates and I have more of a southwestern motif. You know, now that you're moving in with Molly, we won't be able to hang out like this anymore. What are you talking about? You guys can come over there. It's gonna be my place as much as it is hers. Hmm. Yeah, that's what those Indians thought when they waved at that first boatload of pilgrims. Exactly. No more spearing fish and peeing in the woods. It's tea cakes and Bible lessons for you. What the hell are you talking about? Those women are gonna civilize you. No more fingers up your nose, no hands down your pants, and forget about sitting on the couch, drinking from a can of pork and beans. Please, Carl, I'm not an animal. I've lived indoors before. Really? You want to lift these couch cushions and play food, filth or fungi? Tamale? Frozen plantain. I'll eat that. See? Doesn't take up a lot of space, and it fits in with all your Asian decor. Samsung. Hilarious. What are we gonna do with this? Good question. Where do you keep your bobbleheads? Well, I only have the one, and right now, he's putting a tv in my bedroom. It's cute. At my place, he sat next to my computer. Oh, well, here he'll live in the garage. Do you like that? He does like that. The garage? This guy is a hall of famer and won 20 games six years in a row. This is not the actual guy. Fine. Sure seems like a lot of my stuff's being relegated to the garage. All right, I'll find a place for this little fella. Great, and since you're loosening the reins on the sports memorabilia, let's find a spot for this ebay treasure. Gosh, we're running tight on wall space. Uh, what about downstairs bathroom? Fergie Jenkins in the garage? Gale Sayers in the crapper? I don't think you're really from Chicago, lady. Well, I know that this is tough, but come here. But it's just temporary. Soon we'll have our own place that's not mine, not yours, but ours. I guess. And we'll have so much room, you'll be able to have your own den. Really? Oh, yeah. You can put all your stuff in there. That'll be cool, right? Like a man cave. Exactly. Can I smoke cigars in my man cave? I don't really see it having a window. Wait, it's not gonna be an actual cave, is it? Molly? Molly, I'm hungry. Well, go downstairs and fill up your big cereal bowl. By myself? Take your bobblehead. Mike, come on. Sunday's my only day to sleep in. What if your mom and sister are down there? You've eaten meals with my family before. Yeah, but you're always there with me. Sweetheart, this is your house now. You can go do whatever you want. Well, what I want is for you to come downstairs with me and have breakfast. Go! Fine. You know, you're meaner now that we live together. Whoa, there he is. Morning, Victoria. You just getting home? Yeah, I had a little car trouble. Maybe I can help. I'm not a mechanic, but I know what's what under the hood. This is actually more of a "too stoned to remember where I parked" problem. Well, as a sworn police officer, I cannot comment, but I commend you for not driving a motor vehicle while under the influence. Wasn't really my choice. But thank you for not harshing my mellow. No problem. And for the record, Johnny law... Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow. And I'm walking the line. Molly, you up yet? Aw! Out! Oh, look who's coming to the kitchen in his jammie pants. Morning. Cop a squat, I'll get you a cup of coffee. Thank you. Listen, uh, Mrs. Flynn, I really appreciate you letting me move in here. Oh, please, call me Joyce, and it really wasn't my decision. Cream and sugar? Black, please. You'll love it with cream and sugar. That's the way Molly's dad drank it. I don't really process dairy well, but okay. And listen, if there's anything you ever need done, just let me know. I want to earn my keep. We're talking chores, right, not some sort of plus- sized gigolo action? No. I'm pulling your leg, hoss. Oh. If you're serious about helping out, a couple of those kitchen cabinets could use new hinges. I'll take care of that today. We could also use a new screen for the back door. Victoria walks through at least one a year. Consider it done. And a new exhaust hose for the dryer. Easy to do. Oh, and the pulsating shower wand upstairs has seen better days. Three women in the house... don't ask. Wasn't planning on it. What's that pounding? Your boyfriend is up on the roof replacing the loose shingles. Okay, so it wasn't Santa claus. But you can understand what got me there, right? The poor guy's only been here one night and you're putting him to work? He volunteered. Mike Biggs volunteered to climb up on the roof and start relaying shingles? He was reluctant at first, but I promised him a pan of brownies and he shimmied up that ladder like his ass was on fire. Mom, we shouldn't take advantage of Mike's good nature. Some might say his jolly nature. You know, he's been working hard. We should make him a nice dinner tonight. That's a great idea. Remember our Sunday night dinners with daddy? We'll make pot roast, mashed potatoes, and banana cream pie. Daddy's favorite. Oh, it's not Mike's favorite. Who the hell's talking about Mike? I'm telling you, Carl, all I did was put a couple screws in a cabinet door and her mom made me French toast. I know, I feel like king midas. Not the muffler guy. You got to get a library card. Hang on, I got to earn myself some brownies. Hey, how you doing up there? You working hard? Oh, yeah. Seeing you up there blocking the sun reminds me of when my husband was alive. He was always working on the roof. Well, Chicago winters... lots of wear and tear. I may be up here for a while. You hungry? You want a sandwich? Oh, I'd love a salami and cheese. Too bad, he loved peppers and meatballs. Incoming! That'll work! Can't talk now, Carl, this is a two-hand job. Anything look familiar? The stop signs do, but I think they use the same ones all over town. All right, where is the last place you remember parking it? I had a dentist appointment on Wednesday. I've driven it since then, but that's the last place I remember parking it. Okay, any idea what clubs you went to last night... goth, gay? Elks? There's a couple of stamps on my hand. You don't have a black light, do you? No, I don't. For crying out loud, Victoria, think. Hey, if you're going to bark at me, you can take me home and I will get Mike to help me look. My fiancé is not your personal lo jack. Besides, mom probably has him planting corn by now. All I know is, he's a lot more patient and understanding than you. That's because he hasn't played car-and-seek every Sunday since you got your learner's permit. Can we at least assume it's still in Illinois? You know, when I told Mike about misplacing my car, he was not mean or judgmental. Mm-mm, no, he was firm but fair, just like daddy. Victoria, focus. Anything around here ring a bell... bars, restaurants, maybe one of your shoes laying in the road? Both shoes are accounted for, but keep your eyes peeled for a hair scrunchie and a black laced bra. All right, I'm done. Okay, we'll just wait for your car to get booted and towed like last time. No, last time we drove around, I eventually remembered I parked it in the garage. Oh, wait. No. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! No! You have got yourself a real prize there, young lady. I know, mom, he's a great guy. He's more than a great guy. He does whatever I ask him to do and eats whatever I toss up on the roof. It's like having a big pet raccoon that can fix stuff. Oh. There's my hard-working man. Nice fit, huh? Two more pockets and I'm a pool table. Mike, why, why are you wearing my dad's clothes? Oh, I gave him a bunch of daddy's stuff. You know, the last time he wore this suit, we were sharing a "j" at a Doobie brothers concert or sharing a doobie at an O'jays concert... I forget. It was the Doobie brothers. I found the ticket stubs and an ancient tootsie roll. Oh, daddy loved his tootsie rolls. Can I see it? Well, the real memory is the ticket stubs, right? I'm kind of freaking out here. Mike, you don't have to wear that. Why? I think I look pretty good in it. You look like you should be standing in a field, selling green beans. Never mind her, you look great. Now, why don't you sit right down here at the head of the table? We're having pot roast, mashed potatoes, and your favorite dessert... banana cream pie. That's not his favorite. Mike, tell 'em, German chocolate. That's cake, we're talking pie now. Isn't he adorable? Mike, before we go to bed, will you read me a story? Oh, come on, this has gone from weird to creepy. Victoria, he is not your father. Mom, he is not your husband. Hang on, Moll, they're just trying to make me feel welcome. Which is more than you're doing. You won't even let the poor bastard hang up a picture. I didn't say anything. Plus, you're the one who told us to make him feel at home. I meant be friendly, make small talk, not dress him up like my dead father. Hey, it fits him. There's three guys in Chicago that can wear that suit. Then get one of the other guys 'cause this one's mine. You're so selfish, Molly, you never share anything. Remember how she never let me ride her bike? Oh, hey, if I had lent you the ten-speed, we'd still be driving around right now looking for it! The two of you are giving me a headache. She started it. So how come you get to dress him up, but I can't? Because I'm the one that's marrying him. Is that a shot at me because I haven't found a man yet? Have you looked in the garage? I'm telling you, Carl, it's like paradise. Guess what I'm doing right now. How'd you know? No, I mean, how'd you know it was pie? You cannot hear it in my voice. Fine, if you're so smart, what am I wearing? Wrong... green leisure suit. Yeah, Molly's mom gave it to me. I know, it's a sweet deal. Sure, come on over. Ladder's around back, and I'll try and save you some pie. Would you girls knock it off? It's your squabbling that kept me a single mother all those years. Oh, don't play that card. You've had more boyfriends than she's had. Are you calling me a slut? Are you calling me a slut? Just stay away from my fiancé, and yes, I am! I think all the idiots in the world should send us chocolates and liquor baskets. I just want to touch things. Why? We immortalize their stupidity. You guys stink worse than my diapers! Like the agro chick who went ballistic over a parking spot. Get off of me! And the campaign manager who was nothing to sneeze at. [Sneezes] - Electrodes. - We got a bad guy who shocked the world... [Groans] A news reporter who tried to mail it in, a campfire sing-a-long that was too much to swallow... [Coughs] And finally... I created the Wall of Sound. A mean, old record producer who made one last hit. ♪ Help, I've fallen, and I can't get up ♪ They're singing our song. [Crying and screaming] On the next episode of 1,000 ways to die. [Heavy metal music] Death is everywhere. Most of us try to avoid it. Others can't get out of its way. Every day we fight a new war against germs, toxins, injury, illness, and catastrophe. There's a lot of ways to wind up dead, the fact that we survive at all is a miracle. Because every day we live, we face... This election's done. [Phones ring] [Phone room chatter] It was getting down to the wire for mayoral candidate Robert Stone. I need to know, are you with me on this, or are you not with me on this? In a final push, he and his staff worked the phones. Melissa, his sexy campaign manager, wanted Stone. I mean, weeks ago we were way behind from Baumgartner, now we're gonna kick his bum. Let's just do it again tomorrow. Let's get it done. It was the end of a long day, but Melissa had one more campaign to mount. I need to get out of here, heading' home soon. You can stay for one drink. Just one long, stiff drink. Melia was slipping Stone a rufie, the date rape drug. But she didn't want to do him, she was going to do him in. - [Snores] - He's out like a light. Listen, I need everyone out front at 7:30. Melissa was actually a spy, working for Baumgartner, Stone's opposing candidate. Sucker. Come on, time to get up, it's 7:30, let's go! Melissa had alerted the press. When Stone stepped out of the front door, his career would be over. Good luck in the polls, Mr. Stone. Mr. Stone, what is this about an alleged-- Hey! Hey! I don't know. I didn't do anything! Then, as the cameras flashed, Melissa had the mother of all sneezing fits. [Sneezes repeatedly] Mr. Stone, what did you do to your intern? I didn't do anything! What happened back there? Do you have a comment? Melissa suffered from... Otherwise known as "achoo syndrome." Achoo syndrome. It's a genetically inherited condition. An exposure bright light can cause you to uncontrollably sneeze, 50, 60, 70 times. The violent sneezing caused an injury to the lining of her aorta, causing the blood to actually go between the leaves of the heart valve itself, and blood being spewed out into her chest cavity, dying within seconds. Melissa played Stone like a pro. I need everyone out front at 7:30. She set him up to knock him down. [Sneezes repeatedly] But then she went down. Get that thing out of my face! God bless ya, bitch. What do you say we run through this one? - Yeah, one more time. - All right, let's do it. Ladies and gentlemen, Jerry and the Atrics. ♪ I'm old ♪ ♪ oh, your time has passed ♪ ♪ I'm old ♪ ♪ you got really bad gas ♪ They're the house band at the full rest senior citizens' center. It's a place where older musicians hang out and, if their arthritis isn't too bad, play some music. ♪ Help, I've fallen and I can't get up ♪ - Where's my wig? - It's right here. One of the regulars was old man Arthur. Who are you? A one-time legendary producer. You're ugly. In his prime, he ripped off every musician he ever worked with. Stop! Stop! This is crap! But now those same players were tired of his act. When you gonna pay us our royalties? - Yes, when are you? - I want my money, man. I created the Wall of Sound. Don't talk to me like that. Musicians, as you know, are always excited if somebody's interested in them, and you're just-- they're just tryin' to make it, especially when you're young. Back in the 50s, when everybody was, you know, cutting singles, and everybody just wanted a taste of that. They were just like, sure, I'll sign this, I'll sign that. The people that were makin' hit records that are still played, they're listening, I'm sure, at home, just thinkin' about how they-- they could have been livin' in mansions, still, at this point, or at least, you know, not ending up in an old folks' home with no money left, you know? ♪ I'm old! ♪ You guys stink worse than my diapers! From musicians to his nurse, Arthur was an equal opportunity jerk. There you--go. [Spits out drink] Warm. You can't do anything right. - Help me up. - Where are you gonna go? - Shut up, nurse! - And don't bump it. Fat bitch. Why do you put up with that guy? I've had it. Arthur was famous for two things, bad wigs and carrying a gun. You've owed me money for 30 years! Musicians! Ah! They're the scum of the earth. He raised his palsied hand, and took aim. Every one of you, you'll all die! Arthur! Put the gun down, Arthur! I'm the genius. I made you! [Screaming] By him shooting down at his own bottle, he hit the weakest part of the bottle, which is where the valve is connected, 'cause there's a hole in the bottle. That would've forced the valve up, the bottle would've opened up like a--a flower, instantly, blown all the oxygen out of it. It would have been a catastrophic, uh, explosion, and he was as close as you can get to it, so it would've taken him out. Who are you? Arthur screwed everyone he ever worked with. I'm the genius! I made you! [Screaming] But in the end, he gave Jerry and the Atrics an ending to their song. ♪ He's dead ♪ Coming up, a cat fight over a parking spot, [struggles] Get off of me! - And... - I'm gonna kill you all! A criminal gets his slate wiped clean. [Screams] What is your problem? Bitch! You know, there are some things that just aren't worth fighting for. - Don't touch me! - Right, that's it! Like a parking spot. But don't tell that to Brenda. When it came to the road, she was a ticking time bomb. The whole parking lot, and there's not one frickin' spot! For people who truly experience intermittent explosive disorder, there usually is an escalation of events, so someone cutting you off in traffic, or taking your parking spot, may not seem like a big deal to you or me, but for someone with this disorder, uh, it flips them into a state that they can't control. [Sighs] [Growls] Then Amy slipped into a spot she'd been patiently waiting for. Oh, hell no! And Brenda went off. Well, are you gonna move your car? What the hell? What are gonna do? This is my boss' car, you crazy lady! Maybe you should tell your boss why you didn't move your car. What is your problem? - Ah! - I said get-- get off of me! That's how two chicks start fighting over a parking spot. [Struggling] But in this case, Brenda grabbed a little more than she could handle. Get off of me! Bitch, you better move! [Grunts] [Screams] Somebody call an ambulance! Our loser in this fight inadvertently fell and impaled herself on the sharp, ornament hood of a car, piercing deep into her abdomen or stomach, causing massive bleeding, resulting in hypovolemic shock, causing her to become unconscious, instantaneously, and then resulting in immediate death. What the hell? Brenda thought she was the toughest girl in the hood. Then she landed on the hood. [Grunts] And realized she didn't have a lot of guts after all. Strap him. No! It's 1954, and Charles, a convicted murderer, is about to get introduced to a popular psychiatric treatment of the times. I will kill you! I'm gonna kill you all! Electro-convulsive therapy, otherwise known as shock treatment. Administering first dose. [Yells] Electro-shock therapy is a treatment for people who have states of psychosis that are severe and untreatable in other ways. First used in the 1930s to induce seizures, believing that it will set the brain right, reboot the brain. One of the greatest controversies surrounding electro-shock therapy is people have claimed to have lost years of memory from their lives, which is usually recoverable, to some extent. [Gurgles] Charles was a resilient psychopath, and he was playing possum. Charles? Charles? Waiting for the right moment... To escape. [Gasps] [Whimpers] - [Screams] Help! - Stay back! - Stay back! I'll break her neck. - [Screams] He had been faking his catatonic state, ever since the shock treatment wore off. If you follow me I will kill you! With the orderlies hot on his trail, Charles was desperate. But the shock treatment did leave its mark on his heart. [Gasps and chokes] Electro-shock therapy isn't just to the brain, it's to the whole body. It's like a mini electrocution, and it will disrupt the natural rhythm of your heartbeat, causing what's known as atrial fibrillation. Lack of coordination of the heartbeat, that he had suffered a heart attack and died. Charles was a bad guy. [Groans] He thought he could beat his shock treatment. But his heart took a pounding, and then it just... Stopped... Beating. Leslie and Amber are arch-rivals on an entry-level motocross circuit. - Yay, Amber! - Yeah! Ladies, start your engines! They both share the same dream: Making it all the way to the big time, and the big money. A professional super- or motocross rider can make between $20,000 and $30,000,000, depending on their sponsorship. Everything from your helmet to your underwear to your boots to the oil that you use. Everyone has a sponsor, and if you end up winning, then you make the big bucks, and you can also do commercial endorsements. Leslie jumped out to an early lead. But after miscalculating a turn, she was smelling Amber's exhaust. Leslie's mistake handed Amber the win. One more victory, and Amber would earn a spot in an upcoming pro-level race. You stupid bitch. Being the vindictive type, she decided to sabotage her rival's chances. Start your engines. Should've been me out there. [Grunts] Her plan worked, but then the broken chain flew off Amber's bike, and wrapped around Leslie's throat. She didn't plan on that. As the stainless steel motorcycle chain ripped through her neck tissues, it acted like a serrated blade, cutting through skin and subcutaneous tissues, as well as the carotid artery. This would have caused her to bleed out rapidly, at almost one liter per minute, causing death within a couple of minutes. Leslie would do anything to make it in the highly competitive world of motocross, even cheat. But in the end, she was a little too... Cut throat. Up next, finally we got a real story to work with. Hurry, hurry, hurricane. I can't- and... - I just want to touch things. A campfire tale that'll get you all choked up. It's hard to believe that anyone would want to steal a seeing-eye dog, but they have. Joe was a local news reporter with big dreams of covering national stories. Back to you, Mike. There was just one problem. I can't hear anything in this. I gotta hear the anchor. What's wrong with you? Joe didn't care about anything except looking good on camera. [Phone rings] - But then Joe got the call - about a story... - Hurricane, huh? That would make national news. Finally we got a real story to work with. A tropical storm is not a hurricane, and until sustained winds hit 74 miles per hour, hurricanes can dump 12 to 20 inches of rainfall, they can create waves up to 50 feet out on the open ocean, they can flood 100 miles of coastline with ten feet of water. Within hours of the initial reports, - the hurricane made landfall... - What? And Joe could just feel that national news anchor job blowing his way. How's the hair? - Great, Joe. - Go for it. As you can see behind me, the traffic lights, they are virtually horizontal. I'm the only person out here, braving the elements. Joe made it seem like he was brave for covering this massive storm. I can't stress enough for everyone to stay indoors. I can't-- [yells] But in the end, he couldn't even stick it out. Joe was trying to fix his hair, the 150 mile an hour winds had broken a mailbox free from its post. This six-inch diameter fencepost, traveling at hurricane speeds of over 100 miles an hour, impaled into this man's chest, actually tore the heart right off of the major vessels, causing massive bleeding and instantaneous death. I can't stress enough-- Joe won't be delivering any more news. He's feeling a bit... Under the weather. ♪ Amazing grace ♪ There's a lot of ways to try and see God. ♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪ You can sit around the campfire and sing his praises, [audio slows down to a stop] But that didn't cut it for Michelle. Any requests? You know any Marilyn Manson? Forced by her parents to get good with God at a religious camping trip... - That's an old one. - Ha! She found another way to get through the night. A little chemical enhancement. There are hundreds of Christian camps that minister to thousands of youth every summer. Some of these youth have already accepted the truth, but some need direction in their lives. By attending camp, we could give 'em that help, by reintroducing them to the blessings of the lord. Tonight Michelle decided she was gonna share with her brothers and sisters by spiking dinner with several milligrams of ecstasy. Dear lord, thank you so much for this food. - Amen. - All: Amen. Amen. I feel amazing. I love you guys. We love you, too. [Laughter] It didn't take long for these happy campers to go from holy rollers... [Heavy breathing and sighing] To horn dogs. [Laughing] Yeah! [Laughter] Michelle sat back to enjoy the show. Rock star! Rock star! Rock star! [Coughs] But she suddenly got a little choked up. [Coughs] [Laughing] I'm sorry. After inhaling the soot from the fire, Michelle grabbed a thermos to clear her throat. [Coughs] It didn't go down too well. [Chokes] What Michelle didn't know was that boiling water had been poured into the thermos earlier in the night. [Coughs and gasps] When the girl was disinhibited by the drug she was on, and she took the swig of the boiling water, her natural response to spit it out wasn't present, and she caused burns in the back of her throat and epiglottis. This epiglottis, which normally covers up the airway during swallowing, swelled up and blocked the airway. She would've passed out within five to 15 seconds. Death would've ensued within minutes, as there was no oxygen getting to her brain. Michelle thought she'd play a little joke on her religious friends. Amen. But just as they were all about to see God... I am a rock star Michelle went to meet him... Let's pray. Personally. [Heavy metal music] In the criminal justice system the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups, the police who investigate crime, and the crown prosecutors who prosecute offenders. These are their stories. You know what Kelly's like. One little quirk in the spatter pattern and she stays till she's solved the whole crime. But she left the lab an hour ago. Just here is fine. I'll be two minutes. Grab that. Kelly? Kelly Mahon. Worked in Forensics. She was supposed to be on a night out with Chloe and Joy who worked in the same department. Obviously she never made it. Hi, Chloe, hi, Joy. All right, Pete. We were just talking this morning at the lab. Take your time. Six stab wounds, all in her chest. Any sign of a weapon? Dishwasher was running when Chloe found her. This knife was in it. So no chance of any prints on that, then? All the buttons have been wiped clean, too. Kelly tried to stop him. Defensive wounds on both hands. Looks like she put up a good fight. Not good enough. And you were just on a night out? It was Teddy's birthday so drinks at Zu and then on to Belgos for food. Only Kelly never showed? She was finishing off some blood work. Everyone was getting hungry so I called her about 8:30. She said she was nipping home in a cab to get changed. Got any idea which cab firm she used? Kwik Kall Kabs, we always use the same one. When the others left for Belgos, Joy and I went to... went to see what was keeping her. Do you know if anyone wanted to hurt Kelly at all? She have a boyfriend? She was supposed to be getting married next month to Tom Hartson. Kwik Kabs got the call around about 8:30 to pick up a Kelly from the lab and take her home. Driver dropped her and went on to another pick-up. You've checked that with the controller? Yep. And the next pick-up. All checks out. Maybe he remembers seeing someone hanging around outside the flat? I dropped her off and watched her go in. You do that a lot with your passengers, do you? No. But I've driven Kelly home before. So you are on first-name terms? She booked the cab in her name. You see anything suspicious? Anyone outside her flat? Nah. Not that I recall. You went straight to your next pick-up? Yeah, in Bermondsey. Is she all right? Kelly Mahon is dead. You're joking? No. OK. We might need to speak to you again. What do you reckon? Should get Ange to run some background on him just in case. I reckon we should go and speak to Kelly Mahon's fiance. I was working late and... crashing in the office. You do that often, sleep at work? No. We just got this big client. I was under pressure to get their accounts finished. That's where Kelly and I met. My firm do the accounts for the lab. Kelly didn't mind you staying out all night? She would have ended up crashing at Chloe's talking flowers. Someone can verify you staying at your work? I dunno. A security guard maybe? How long till I can come back here? Could be a week. Kelly had her bag stolen. If you have a list of contents maybe you know of, purse, credit cards, that sort of stuff? She had a debit card. One for our joint savings account. We were saving a house deposit. Her mates gave her a gift card at her hen party. That was probably in her purse. Do you know what the gift card was? Ann Summers, 100 quid. Something for our wedding night. No, it was a £100 gift card purchased last Monday. From the Oxford Street branch. The security guard at Tom Hartson's office reckoned the place was empty when he locked up at 8:30. So Tommy wasn't there? No. When? All right, I need you to bell me as soon as that is used again. Cheers. The gift card was used to purchase a red lace chemise size 10, whatever that is. A chemise is a short nightie, my son. Is there something you want to tell me? Yeah, brush up on your French. First Mrs Brooks wore a black lace chemise on our wedding night. She was a knockout as well. Our killer is on a promise? Or Tommy boy is trying to throw us off the scent. Make it look like a robbery. No activity on Kelly's bank card since the day before yesterday. But their joint savings account is another matter. They both put 100 quid in every month, regularly, no withdrawals. Yet last Tuesday at 11:00am, one of the comes into the building society and cleans the whole lot out. We checked her hours with her boss. Last Tuesday, Kelly was at work all day. She didn't even take a lunch break. Then it must have been Mr Hartson the loving fiance. Why clean out the account before they even got married? They had a row Thursday lunchtime. You got any idea why Tom wanted to clear out their savings account? Is that what he did? Did they row a lot? A bit. Lately. Just put it down to pre-wedding nerves. You thought there was more to it? A week ago, Kelly got home to find the bedding had been changed. Sheet, duvet, the lot. Tom reckoned he'd spilled something over it. So Kelly thought he'd had company, yeah? Tom had never changed the sheets in his life. I suggested she bring the sheet in. For a test? Yeah. She did bring the sheet in the day after, but... as far as I know, she chickened out. I don't think she wanted to know the truth. Where is the sheet now? Did she take it back? No idea. It was in her locker. You got it? Yeah. They look like the perfect couple. Here we are. Till death do us part. Of course the security guard didn't see me. I was asleep on the sofa. Are you sure that's where you were, Tom? You didn't go home instead? Get into an argument? No. But she was angry with you? We were happy. Didn't stop you playing away though? I wouldn't. I loved her. You loved her so much, you had to change the bed sheets? You know where that bed sheet is now? It's in our lab being tested. What are they gonna find, Tom? A loving fiance or a cheating liar? Guv wants a word. Interview suspended at 9:50. Greenwich just called. A woman's been attacked outside her flat by a minicab driver. You think there's a link? Victim is a temp at the forensic service lab where Kelly worked. I was working late. So I didn't want to risk the walk to the tube. And there was this minicab parked up right near where I work. He said he'd just dropped someone off. Can you remember the name of the cab company? No, I'm sorry. He took you back to your place, yeah? I was halfway down the steps to my flat before I realised he was behind me. Then the next thing I knew he had me pinned up against the wall. It's OK. Take your time. He said he had a knife. And that if I didn't do what he wanted, he'd kill me. And he told me to open the door. And... I was so scared I couldn't find my keys. You're doing really well, Lucy. He got really angry and... he ripped the back of my dress. With a knife. And... he started touching me. This car horn started beeping. And he just grabbed my bag and ran off. And... I heard the cab pull away. Can you describe the cab? It was green, I think. Maybe blue. Did you see his face? Only for a second or two. Anything else you can remember at all? Something that sticks in your mind? He had these trainers on. They were white with a blue stripe. And one of them had orange paint splashed on the toe. It was on the right foot. OK. You've done really well. Thank you, Lucy. Right, if you'll excuse us. Looks like the fiance is off the hook. Yeah, and we've got a cab driver out there preying on young women. He pinned me up against that wall. And if it hadn't been for that car horn... If we ever find the driver, you can thank him. Why don't we get the SOCO's down here? He might have dropped something. I heard that blood expert from work died. Is it the same bloke? Could be. You said you lost your keys? Do you think they were in your bag? Yeah, definitely. I was all fingers and thumbs. Oh, god, do you think he's got them? You might want to stay somewhere else tonight. Call a friend. Just until you've had the locks changed. OK. I don't really know who though. I've only been in London a few weeks. OK. We'll sort something. Both girls are employed at the forensic services lab They both get into minicabs from work. If it isn't the same bloke, it's one hell of a coincidence. There is no evidence that Kelly was sexually attacked. But Kelly fought back. She got him riled, he lost control and killed her? It's possible. Yes, Casey. Yeah, I'll be down in two secs. OK. Lucy has remembered something else. She's downstairs? I thought you took her home last night? She couldn't get in. The bloke who attacked her took her keys. So she crashed in the soft room. What's wrong with a hotel? She didn't feel safe on her own. It was only for one night. I hope so. We're not running a BB. There was one of those beaded cushions on the front seat of his cab and he wore a leather jacket as it squeaked against the beads. That's great. Thank you, Lucy. Thanks for letting me stay, Detective. That's no problem. And it's Sam. First-name terms? Eh? What? She's one of us. One of us? She works in pay roll. For forensic services. She's a victim, Sam. Even if she is blessed in the looks department. Really? I hadn't noticed. Not much. I'll get the warrant for the taxi driver, shall I? Argh! Carl Lucas, I'm arresting you on suspicion of... murder, robbery and attempted rape. What? You do not have to say anything... His cab is going to forensic services. And so are his trainers. I swear to god, she got out and that was the last I saw of her. Just like you never saw Kelly Mahon after she got out of your cab? That's the truth. So why did you run? Straight up? My cousin gave me a load of iPads last night. What, nicked I take it? They were in the boot of my cab. I thought you were after them. You been inside, Carl? You know I have. Two years GBH. Yeah, that's right.And your DNA was all over the bloke you punched. The bloke insulted my girl. I knocked him once. Then the old Bill bang on my door. But it was blood on your clothes that got you convicted? Yeah. But what's any of this got to do with those girls? We think you've got a grudge against women who work in forensic services. You're joking, right? No. I mean, two years to sit in jail and stew over whose fault it was that you were sitting in that cell. I know whose fault it was. It was mine. And the drink. Not Kelly Mahon's? Not Lucy Kennard's? Fine, okay. Sia, you won't believe it. There was a call from the local police station. Vikram Kapoor called the police to confess that he killed Maya. What? ! Just 70 rupees. The latest from Bollywood. August 22nd. - He is dead. Vikram didn't confess voluntarily. He was forced to. How does Neil figure in this? Sunil, who is the only one to have skipped surveillance? Yes, sir. Where are you, Sia? Mumbai, sir. Vikram Kapoor is dead. He was found in his house with slashed wrists... but his body has severe signs of violence. Sir, Neil Menon is on a killing spree. Eliminating all the witnesses from that weekend. Did I not give you a direct order to drop that case? And to drop Neil Menon. Sir, if you could just listen to me. No, you listen to me. I want you off that case. Right now. I will see you in my office tomorrow. Sir... Sir, if someone in our department... is protecting Neil Menon... That will be enough, Ms. Agnihotri. What? What did he say? Precisely what he's been asked to say. Sir, your mail. Turn it around. Your flight for Mumbai leaves in two hours. Our associate will get in touch with you. He will brief you about the rest. Is this what you really want? Neil? Yes, I want this. Mumbai? In this business enemies are aplenty, Ranbir. But there is only one Maya. This is a risk I cannot take. Hello Hello, could you please send somebody to room 607 to collect the bag? Yeah, thank you. It's open. You shouldn't leave your door open like this. Never know who could enter. Put your hands up. Put them up! Don't be dramatic. Sit. We need to talk. Talk about what? The truth. It's weighing on me like a ton. Is that so? Shall we start? Bangkok... O.P. Ramsay? - Guilty. - And Vikram Kapoor? I made him confess to the police. That's all? Yeah, that's all. In fact, I wasn't even with him when he killed himself. Well, then how do you know he is no more? Only the police know about this. You do have a phone, don't you? Trust me, no tricks. 00-44- 777- 946-02-41 May I? Now what is it, Sia? Good evening, Mr. Ravenscar. You? What the heck are you doing there? I had no choice. I was right. You've been bought, haven't you? For God's sake! Look, it's not what you think, Sia. This horrible creature you have in front of you is... Major Arjun Singhania, International Vigilance Squad. Deep undercover in the Turkish drug cartel. Major Arjun Singhania? And he outranks you, so please be nice. And now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get back to my work. You're a police officer? Even I hate surprises. Okay. So, what do I call you? Neil or Arjun? Neil is fine. Let's not complicate this case any further. Drink? No thanks, I'm working. To murder. Murder? Even you believe that Kabir Malhotra was murdered? People and their strange habits. For instance... when people are having a drink and smoking at the same time... they always hold the glass in the non-dominant hand. Like Kabir Malhotra, I too am left-handed. Oh my God! You're right. And if he was left-handed... why would he pull the trigger with his right hand? He was murdered. But, who did it? There's a well known Latin phrase. 'Cui bono? ' Who benefits? ' Exactly. We need to re-examine the evidence. I'll see you at the airport in an hour. Why are you doing this for Kabir Malhotra? I'm not doing it for him. Neil, this is Mark and Aiden. They're on the Malhotra case too. Here are the details on the will you asked for. Oh, and Samara came by... she dropped of the blue prints and documents that you wanted. I still can't believe that you are a police officer. I swear. There were three parts to the will. Mr. Malhotra donated a huge sum to many charities... one million Euro to his staff and everything else to Tisha. But that will was burnt. Which means, according to the law... Mr. Malhotra died without a valid will. And that means... his only heir, inherits all his wealth. Tisha gets everything. Correct. How much exactly is everything? 10 billion Euro. Sia, it's Tisha. She tried to kill herself this morning. She did what? Attempted suicide, sir. She's at St. Marks' hospital right now. What the bloody hell is going on? Sia, you go to the hospital. I'll meet you at HQ later. Let's go. I'm sorry, but I need to question Tisha. - Any problem, officer? - No. It's just routine. I'll wait. Dad... That's fine, thank you. Tisha, what happened? I... I... I don't know. Why did you try to kill yourself? What? ! I didn't try to kill myself. But you tried to hang yourself from the fan. No, dad! I was watching TV and... all of a sudden, I don't know what happened but... I fell unconscious and... Wh... what's going on? Dad, you need to tell me. I really need to know. - What's happening? - Excuse me, this is going to have to wait. Can you please step outside? Sure. What does this mean? Why would someone want to kill Tisha? Mr. Khanna, it's critical that you do exactly as I say. You'll never guess. Tisha was attacked. But she's alright now. Even so, you instructed Mr. Khanna that he should say that his daughter is dead. How did you know that? Because it's what I would've done. So, it's obvious that there is a killer hiding somewhere. Or, perhaps Tisha is lying so that we don't suspect her. Perhaps. It's possible. What does anyone get by killing Tisha? 10 billion Euro. Sunil... ask Mr. Malhotra's lawyer who inherits after Tisha? Got that. That's it, right? The question is, who would want to kill Tisha. No. The question remains the same. Who would want to kill Mr. Malhotra? Chelsea. Chelsea? What? You guys don't follow football? Chelsea has to win if they want to stay on top of the table. Unbelievable. I need some fresh air. Hopeless. Football? I'm not going to let you die. 22nd August, 2007. You have two new messages. First message. Neil, Ranbir here. Call me back. Second message. Neil... it's been three months now. You keep saying that you'll come here. I guess it was naive of me to believe you. Anyway... I just want you to know that... I'm pregnant. I'm sure, this is the last thing you needed to know. Neil, I've treasured every moment of my life since I met you. And, I'll always love you for that. The number you've dialled is currently switched off. The number you've dialled is currently switched off. Neil. Who won? Chelsea won! - Chelsea! Chelsea! Neil, Mr. Malhotra's lawyer has sent this fax. If Tisha dies, the Malhotra family gets everything. The Malhotra family. Lqbal Chand Malhotra? Kabir Malhotra's brother... who was disowned by their father. But why? I guess he must've been the black sheep. And it's possible that... Kabir didn't help him out, so he must be very upset. What are you looking for? Any idea how this red paper and these chemicals are connected? No, why? Mustard has the same effect on me. Mustard? Let's go to Mumbai then. To see Iqbal Chand Malhotra. I was going to say the same thing. See you in 15 minutes. The ward is upstairs. Mr. Malhotra is asleep now but you can still see him. How long has he been here? Five years. Stomach cancer. Last stage. Has he ever left this place in the past five years? This is a sanatorium, Ms. Agnihotri. Not a jail. Patients are free to move in and out. But, as far as I know, Mr. Malhotra never left this place. Who visits him? Nobody. He is all alone. Earlier his daughter would write to him, every week. - That doesn't happen anymore. - Why not? She died, poor thing. It was a car accident, January 2006. Since then he hasn't spoken with anyone. Poor man, all broken down. I understand. What was his daughter's name? Natasha. Natasha Malhotra. Can I get a copy of Mr. Malhotra's admission form and medical reports? Why not. But it could take some time. I'll have to go through some of the old files, you see. Sure. I will have someone call you later. Is that okay? - No problem. - Thank you. We're done, let's go. - Thank you so much. - Welcome. One thing is certain. The murder wasn't committed by Iqbal Chand Malhotra. Right. But he was the reason for it. Being cryptic suits you... not this case. Okay. Fine, I'll give it to you straight. His daughter's letter? She's dead, Neil. - When? - January 2006. Then what's this? If his daughter died in January... how could she have written this letter in June? This means Natasha Malhotra is the killer? But, where is she? - You? - Good evening. How did you get in? Through the door. I'm sorry... is there something wrong? Yeah. I prefer the next piece, it's a... a lot more dramatic. I don't understand. Five years ago... Samara Shroff joined Kabir Malhotra's empire as his executive assistant. He didn't know her. But... Samara knew him very well. Because she was, his brother, Iqbal Chand Malhotra's daughter. Isn't that right, Natasha? Natasha? Mr. Menon, is this a joke? Mr. Kabir Malhotra was dying of cancer. And your father was his legal heir. Making sure that it stayed that way was crucial. And for the past five years... you were doing just that. I don't know what you're talking about. Mr. Malhotra wasn't aware that when he was telling us the truth... it affected someone else... a lot more. How dare you? You... you're... As soon as you learnt about Tisha... it was clear that Kabir needed to die immediately. Before he could rewrite his will. You thought that when the police arrived and found guests like us present... you would show them the video recording. Then who in their right minds, would ever suspect you? Wait a minute. Are you implying that I killed Mr. Malhotra? That morning... Good morning, Mr. Malhotra. Good morning. You went to his room, just as you did everyday. Here's your mail. When you were sure that he wasn't paying attention to you... you carried out your plan. Using his pistol... very smoothly... you shot him. You shot him in cold blood. This is absurd. Perhaps you don't remember that when the bullet was fired... I was with you. No. What? ! You were with me... when we heard what we thought was a gunshot. Was that a gunshot? The plan was good. All you needed were two things. One... an alibi... who would vouch that you were with him when the gun was fired. Are you always an early riser or is today an exception? And, two... a small fire cracker. And since there was to be a fireworks display that night... it wasn't diffcult getting a fire cracker. You can't smoke in here, Mr. Menon. It's a pity you won't be able to enjoy tonight's celebration. Yesterday's fireworks are still echoing. So, no thanks. Brilliant. And now, if you're done with your story... please get out of my house! Your house? Wow! But, I believe this house isn't yours, it belongs to Tisha. And, I believe Tisha is no more. Do you think you're the only one who can create an illusion? Tisha is alive. I'm very happy to hear that. Anyway, if you had any kind of proof then... We do have proof. Your fingerprints. What? You heard me. Your fingerprints. They are on the key. When we were banging on the door... Mr. Malhotra? Mr. Malhotra? You said the key was in the keyhole. The key is in the keyhole, but he never locks the door. And we believed you. And when you realised I would break the door down... you made your move. Hammer... quick, come on. This is your proof? ! Of course my fingerprints were on the key. I turned the key to open the door, remember? Yes, I remember. Then, explain this. If the key was already in the keyhole... then how did your fingerprints... get on the middle barrel of the key? I mean, if you had only turned the key, like you just said... then your fingerprints wouldn't be there, right? The fact of the matter is... when you broke the pane and put your hand in... the key was already in your hand. I... I didn't do... Natasha Malhotra, you are hereby arrested on the charges of murder of... Don't even think about it. Kabir? No. Lqbal Chand Malhotra. The mastermind of this game. That's right. Place your pistol on the table. Out. You too, Mr. Menon. If I had a pistol, you wouldn't have been alive right now. In that case, thank you for not carrying a gun. Natasha. Her gun. May I ask you something, Mr. Menon? When did you piece the puzzle together? At the hospital. If I hadn't seen the photograph... I wouldn't have known that you and Kabir were identical twins. And they say, twins... don't give birth to twins. It's over, Malhotra. Game over. It's your game that is over. Coming here alone was a huge mistake. Natasha... go and wait for me on the boat. Some things aren't meant to be done in the presence of children. It could corrupt their minds. Natasha... trust me, you don't want to do this. - Shut up. - Natasha, now go. Natasha... I'm warning you. Natasha, I said leave now. - Feeling better? - Much better, thanks. Tell me something... why did you suspect that it wasn't a gunshot? I'm allergic to gunpowder. Especially, the type used in small explosives and fireworks. It just... shoots up my nose. Like mustard. That's it then. What a story. Afather who did it all for his daughter... and a daughter who did it all for her father. Quite a... faithful bunch, these Malhotras. Do you ever get serious? Once. Rip by Hackos His flight is going to be land in Athens I have decided to make a film that will be the biggest film in history Only you deserve to be a lead actor of this film lf you can come to Samos this friday than we can finalize this deal I dont know what he said Today people are asking for our party's funds Their doubt can be dangerous for us But I have an idea to make their doubt wrong Which idea? The place you have reached in politics I really respect that I believe Malhotra lnc. and your people party can increase Thailand's economy lf this friday can you come at Samos than we can discuss further We need this type of clean money this time Inform him we will reach Samos on friday Only you Only your name is written on invitation I told you, you are not feeling well This is the third time in this month Until when we have to lie? Since Vandana left us... Every journalists need a story in his career With the help of it he can make his name lf you can come to Samos this friday than a years old scandal... You will get all the proofs of that story Are you surprised he choosed me for this story? Where are you? Listen to me. Underground as soon as possible. Columbias are looking for you They have reached your home Do you have a nose? We have to return them their 20 million in 10 days First they will break our fingers Perhaps they will put iron rods in our eyes. Stop kidding You are not understanding. We dont have money Their car is in my parking spot In a very short time you have reached success in entertainment world its much appreciated Why dont we both make night clubs chains in Europe? I take the responsibility for my response lf you like my proposal than come to Samos this friday I hope I will not waste your time What are you doing? How can I say no to you? Think how we will arrange 20 millions? Cheque is in my hand I only need to cash it My name is Samara Shroff I'm executive assisstant of Kabir Malhotra Alex will bring your luggage Their is no phone network on this island How can I contact others? Via Satellite. Kabir Malhotra has satellite phone is Mr. Kabir Malhotra lives here? is this island belong to him? Mr. Malhotra has bought this island And he took the responsibilty for all villagers Malessa will bring you to your rooms I have waited for 3 years for this moment Its priceless Only flower of the world whose flower grows after 8 years You are a pimp You are a murderer He is saying rubbish It was just a trailer Movie will start now This story begun 20 years ago There was a baby. Very innocent Why you are telling this to us? I was saying she became orphan by the age of 6 For rs 2000 she was sold to orphan house of Thailand It was your orphan house We never buy childrens. We take them for care A 6 year old girl was sent to Thailand She was sent to a world which is worst than a nightmare Only her body was left. She became prostitute As much as money she earns, her owner gets more profit Her owner was a social worker in the eyes of the world I will kill you How you can leave this island? Do you think you have invited us as a audience to show As soon as she got chance she took a help of European and run away She tought now everything will be fine But destiny cant be change with good hopes What happen with that girl? An alone girl came to a strange city She came to the biggest night club of Istanbul They give her a job of dancer lt was just a fake. Mr. Menon's real face was drugs Then he forced her to sell drugs You know I was about to say this is not true. You are misunderstanding After few months she went to India Her death was held in the country whom she born Will you tell me? Did you know that girl? He did not know her. But he killed her Who told you this? Money is everything. You can buy anything Like I bought your make up man Vikram Kapoor was coming from a party He was drunk but he had to drive Then an innocent girl came infront of his car It was an accident But after that it was not an accident We have to bring her to hospital I cannot do this My career will be gone. She is dead Bad destiny is not an easy task She was still alive Even after knowing this you buried him alive Do you have any proof? I dont like writing stories Who was that girl? She was my daughter She was my and Malika's daughter Malika came in my life 26 years ago But I did not marry her For forever Then how do you she is your daughter? 3 years ago I got an letter Malika wrote that letter to Sheja when I was left I came to know Malika was pregnant Then she had 2 daughters Twins. Where is your 2nd daughter? You are my 2nd daughter Its true I'm telling you I have my parents I know you have parents but do you have any childhood picture with them? Do you know in which hospital you were born? May be your blood group is different from them You are my daughter And She is your twin daughter Her face is not like me You are twins but not the same face People say twin's children can never be twins You do mistake and we get punishment You all 3 will get punishment Since 3 years I'm collecting proofs for you You never tell me about Maya I should not say this but they all are very powerful man lf the blame is wrong than they will sue you How can they do this? I was sue 3 years ago I was sue 3 years ago Listen to me Leave me alone I have everything But still myself very lonely Now you think you will buy me with your money? You are my daughter What do you know about this relation? You can buy anything with your money You are misunderstanding Do you think you call him and you will ruin their life than everything will be fine? Truth is that you are responsible she hates me But not like that I hate myself There is a stranger. I dont care for you Smoking is not allowed here You always wake up so early or is there anything special? Always its good Its so pity you will not see celebration tonight its Mr. Malhotra's birthday I still can feel yesterday's shock From where bullet sound came? He is inside We have to break door Call whole team here We got Mr. Malhotra's report He had Pancreatic cancer You do mistake and we get punishment You all will get punishment. I have arranged proofs for you in 3 years There is no other way to go inside except door Pistol belong to Mr Malhotra. Bullet and guns matches We got gun powder traces. Location of gun power is bullet is correct Unless Mr Malhotra knew it his life is in danger Thats why he called us here in Samos and his 4 guests whom he blamed is he a murderer? If its true than his career will be finished His name must be on all the wanted list of the world After knowing that truth does he really hates him that he killed him He will get all the property lt was it Mr Malhotra's will But we found his will burned in dust bin Where is that proof of which Mr Malhotra discussed? Why Mr Malhotra commit suicide? These days I seldom see you Have you ever think of wearing glasses? Where you were when bullet was shot? I dont have time for silly questions I was in Samara in my hall Last night he came into my room to say sorry he agreed He only had 1 key. He never lock door Key was useless. Did you break the door? I tried to break it I tried to break glass with candle stand? so that I can open door He shooted himself here What you touched in the room? I checked his heartbeat Why he blame you? May be for publicity I have even never killed a mosquito Then may be you are the 1st person of this world There was a jug on the desk l stopped fire with it Why you burn his will? I dont know anything about his will. I did not see it. He wanted to buy mr Thats why he killed himself Since 3 years he was planning for this day He was saying after killing these 3 them he will get peace I never thought he mean that What did he say? Where is that proof? Did anyone steal it? May be he did not have any proof Now what? We dont anything except Mr Malhotra's words First time I'm feeling good by leaving any place I dont understand. What about that evidence? There was not any evidence Kabir Malhotra was a mad person He tried to trap us and when he was unsuccesful than he committed suicide We will follow everyone lnvestigate everything on tape Start suveillance of everyone. I need report of their every movement Its bleeding I will not let you die Only Maya A good girl like you what is doing in my club? There're many things about me which you dont know..! Whatever I know is sufficient for me. Agent! Keep me updated. right.! Sunil! 3 2 1 game on I dont believe this..! I sunil manon want him.. find him Its our turn dharamveer. i'll just be back Leave that who am i.. The seat you've been sat.. how much is it worthy for you? You'll have to say sorry to the nation of bhaijan. If I'd tell them truth so? Truth? what kinda truth? The advantures of o.p ramsai The file kabeer malhotra made against you. i got that. About which file are you talking ? I'll call you back after 2 hours for telling you what I want in exchange of file. Who was he? We've to think calmly What is the guarantee that he got that file because I ve'nt that file Do you know what is it in that file? it contains all me criminal activity details... All proofs against me. it contains everthing... If it will reveal.. I'll be finish It all happend of that malhotra. If he'd not commited suicide.. I'd kill him But we've destroyed all the proofs. If anyone have any proof against me.. Now that's what I call a prefect confession Dont forget to see news. It is about come a very intresting news. Welcome back It can be conspiracy of oposition party how come they know about the file Mumbai police found the eliton's dead body His name was on tape Mr.malhotra said that eliton was with maya in the car when maya crashed the car but.. we've to tell that to captain. we'll but.. After arresting nil mannon I'm so believe that we'll find him in mumbai why did yiou cutted was a good shot. completely rubbish short. in the convention of the capital of italy. The entire public's unity Bollywood's super star vikram kapoor will be called by c.b.i for iterogation police found his makeup man's dead body on hotel's terrace its 2nd time the name of vikram kapoor is linked with a death First industrilist kabir malhotra and then eliton Now we've to see what his upcoming movie will get affected by this We're standing out the house of vikram kapoor he's not at home its more strange that there's no his servents present you? what're you doing here? how did you get in? what do you want? I want to see the fear in your eyes. Same fear you saw in maya's eyes when you buried her alive. It was just an accident? this is a accident for me too I got news from andheri police station they got the call telling that he's the murderer of maya what did he say? which we are told to say its opened you should never leave the door open who knows who will come in sit.. we need to talk talk about what? want to tell you the truth may be you'll feel good. really? shall we start? from bankok ..o.p ramsai guilty.. and vikram kapoor.? I've linked him with police. Infact, i wasn't with him when he commited suicide. So how come you know he's dead. the police department knows this. you might have phone. are you a police officer? So what do I call you? nil or arjun? there's no need to mess up this case more so you do think too that the kabir got killed. Human has some strange habits as . when the drink wine while smoking.. So their glass would must be in their left hand. Like a kabir malhotra.. I'm also left handed. If he's left handed... so why he driggered gun from right hand. but who? there's a tale in a latin language who's benificiry? we've to reexamine all evidence. meet you at ariport in hour why're you doing all this for kabir malhotra not doing for him will was distributed in 3 parts. first one was in charity 1 m euro for his staff.. and remaining for aisha.. and now that will has been burnt according to law... mr.malhotra died before making will Means...his only heir will get his wealth what had happend? i dont know why did you attemted to kill yourself I didn't attempted Suddenly.. I dont know what happend but... I got unconcious. what's all happenig What's that mean? what someone wants to kill tisha? Look mr.khanna.. its very nesssary which I'm saying tisha got attacked. but now she's fine Eventhen you said to mr.khanna that tell everyone that she's dead How come you know.. because I'd have said that. so its clear that the murdered is hiden somewhere Or tisha is laying....so we dont doubt at her it may possible. Who'll get anything by killing aisha? 10 b euro ask to mr.malhotras' lawyer that who's benificiry after aisha. that question is who wants to kill aisha who want to kill mr.malhotra. its been 3 months..you always says that you'll come. Its was my foolishness that I believed you I've called you to tell you I'm sure that's the final thing which you want to hear. Mr.malhotra sent this fax malhotra's family is benificiry after aisha. KAbir malhotra's brother who was exciled from his heir but why? and then.. kabir would never helped him Do you know what is the connection between this papers and chemicals no did he ever went out the hospital since in these 5 years. patients can be go and come anytime As far i know that mr.malhotra never went out Who used to come to meet him no body he's all alone previously her daughter used to send latters now its stopped.. why? streight thing her daughters latter so what is this? If her daughter died in january So how come she wrote that latter in june? its mean...murderer is natasha malhotra. but where's she? 5 years ago he hadn't knew her but samara knows him Mr.malhotra dont know that when he was telling us truth but where's your 2nd daughter/ So its very big shock.. you're my 2nd daughter as you came to know about tisha. The kabir's death was nessecary before he changes his will You might have think that police will reach here and see guest like us and you'll show them that video recording.. you made a mistake.. and we get the punishment. when we heared the fire shot plan was good. just needed two things a evidence who can tell that when fire shot the time you were'nt there. If you've finished your storyx but I think...its not your house. its tisha's house. and I think tisha is not alive what do you think.. only you can fool people tisha is alive. If you people would have the proof of it so... we have it. your finger prints listen to me lf the key was in the door. So how come your finger prints sticked on the center barrel lf you've twisted the key only as you said now. so you finger prints would not been sticked there. You're the mastermind of the game put down your pistol if I'd have the pistol so you'd not be alive that time If i'd not seen those pictures So I'd never get to know that you and kabir are twince and people says that the twince can't have twince baby adult should not do some work in front of kids. they can be bad affected How come you got in doubt that the sound was not of gun fire. I'm alergic to gun powder Specially the crackers It's amazing people keep coming to comic book stores instead of just downloading comics digitally. It's probably for the best. For a lot of these guys, the weekly trip here is the only chance their mom has to go down to the basement and change their sheets. Oh, that reminds me, I get fresh sheets tonight. Yay. Well? What do you think of New Comic Book Night? Magic, huh? Sheldon, I'm disappointed. As a brilliant man, you're entitled to a vice. I could understand frequenting an opium den or hunting your fellow man for sport. But this? Lame-o. Well, A) Comic books employ storytelling through sequential art, an medium that dates back 17,000 years to the cave paintings of Lascaux, and B) You play the harp. Like that's cool. Can I help you find anything? A comic that depicts a woman whose bosom can't be used as a flotation device. Sorry. Most of the guys who come in here like big boobs. Couple of them have big boobs. Hey, look, the new Warlords of Ka'a expansion pack is out. A new one? Unbelievable. They just keep making up more cheesy monsters, slapping them on cards and selling them at 25 bucks a pop. It's like a secret tax on guys who can't get laid. They're not even trying. Remember the Satanimals pack with the Hellephant? Why, absurd. What was he, a bad elephant who died and went to hell? What could an elephant possibly do that would cause him eternal damnation? "Wild West and Witches"? What kind of loser cares about a showdown between Billy the Kid and the White Wizard of the North? A total loser. Obviously, a guy with a six-shooter beats an old man with a magic wand. Well, h-hold on. Uh, what if the wizard casts a Helmet of Confusion spell on Billy the Kid's cowboy hat? What? Please! This is Billy the Kid we're talking about. I mean, the wizard would get shot between the eyes before he could ever get out the words, "What the hell is Billy the Kid doing in the mystic realm of Ka'a?" Leonard... (clears throat) What's the deal with Sheldon's friend Amy? Are they a couple? Couple of weirdos. Why? You interested in Amy? Well, I mean, she didn't look through me with soul-sucking, ball-shriveling hatred and contempt. I like that in a woman. Could you run it by Sheldon if I could ask her out? Sure. I guess. KOOTHRAPPALI: Stuart, settle an argument for us. Who would win, Billy the Kid or the White Wizard? (chuckles) If I tell you that, I'm robbing you of the hours of fun you could have for the magical, rootin'-tootin' low price of $24.95. I'll take one. Mm... make it two. I hate all of you and myself. Three. I'll ring it up. (muttering): Like shooting nerds in a barrel. ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ ♪ Bang! ♪ The Big Bang Theory 5x10 The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition Original Air Date on November 17, 2011 == sync, corrected by elderman == Hey, can I talk to you about something? It's a little awkward. I know what this is about. Given the professional standstill you're at, you're wondering if this is the appropriate time to abandon your research and focus on teaching. Yes. And if I may suggest, consider changing disciplines. Yeah, to the humanities-- perhaps history. One of the advantages of teaching history is that you don't have to create things. You know, you just have to remember stuff that happened and then parrot it back. You could have fun with that. Yeah, that's not it. Stuart's kind of interested in Amy. Oh, of course he is. She's very interesting. Did you know, when she was 14, she severed the webbing between her own toes? No. He wanted me to find out if you'd have a problem with him asking her out. I'm not sure how to respond, Leonard. I don't own Amy. Can't own a person. At least not since... 1863. President Lincoln freed the... Slaves! Come on, Leonard, if you're going to teach history, these are the kind of facts you'll have to know. You know what? Never mind. I'm going to tell him it's okay to ask her out. The question is moot. There is no way that Stuart, an impoverished peddler of picture books, would be at all appealing to Amy Farrah Fowler, a noted neurobiologist capable of performing surgery on her own feet with nothing but nitrous oxide from cans of whipped cream as anesthesia. All right, but for the record, I checked in with you to see how you'd feel about it. Fine. The record shall so reflect. Now, getting back to the problem at hand, what to do with a washed-up experimental physicist... I am not washed-up. Oh, Leonard. Lots of people love you and want to help you, but they can't until you admit the problem. Well, ladies, we killed the bottle. I had half a glass. I didn't have any. Okay, don't judge me. So, what do you want to do-- go to the movies, go dancing, lay down for a little bit? Or we play... Travel Twister. Amy, really? Twister? Excuse me. I've passed many an enjoyable evening playing this game. And I'm sure it's a lot more exciting when you play with other people. What do you say, bestie? We can do shirts and skins. I'm shirts. Called it. (cell phone buzzing) I'm too small for Twister. And roller coasters. And sitting with my feet on the floor. Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, Mom. Hey, you know, my mom smoked pot when she was pregnant with me, and I turned out just fine. Hey, look, I have peach schnapps. Thank God. Guys, something happened. What's wrong? I think a boy likes me. "Hi. It's Stuart. "We met at the comic book store. "I was wondering if you'd like "to get coffee sometime. "It's okay if you say no. "It might be the kick in the pants I need to start taking Zoloft." Amy, little vixen. Just working it under all those layers of wool and polyester. What are you going to do? Doesn't he know you have a boyfriend? Oh, she doesn't have a boyfriend; she has a Sheldon. So do you like Stuart? I don't know. He's nice. He's funny. He has the sallow, drawn countenance associated with an overactive thyroid gland. That's kind of hot. Okay, look, sweetie, we all love Sheldon, but you've been with him over a year now. If it's not going anywhere, what does it hurt to look around? Well, yeah, I guess they're not engaged like me and Howie. Yeah, for what it's worth, engaged people can look around, too. Lot of options out there. Where's Stuart? (giggles) Out. Who are you? I'm Dale. He left me in charge. Really? Yeah. I don't get it, either. I want to return this "Wild West and Witches" Ka'a expansion pack. Sorry. I don't do returns. They're hard. Sure, sure. Uh, when will Stuart be back? I don't know. He went out for coffee. With a girl. (high-pitched giggling) Oh, I guess I was wrong. You okay? Am I okay? Leonard, I'm on a lifelong trajectory that includes a Nobel Prize and cities named after me, all four wisdom teeth fit comfortably in my mouth without need of extraction, and my bowel movements run like a German train schedule. Am I okay? I'm okay, too! Wild Bill Witchcock. A tribe of Abra-Comanches. Flaming Spittoon. And for the record, I'm very disappointed in you cowpokes. We're playing our inaugural round of "Wild West and Witches," and I'm the only one who bothered to dress for the occasion. (spits) Patooie. We're not wearing cowboy hats, Sheldon. It looks ridiculous. And I suppose my boots and spurs are ridiculous, too? - Yeah. - Very. - Incredibly so. Did it look ridiculous when we got the Satanimals pack and I dressed up as a Beelzebobcat? - Yeah. - Very. - Incredibly so. All right, fine. Let's just play. We should go easy on him. Amy's out with Stuart tonight. Wait a minute. Are you telling me that Sheldon's patented blend of condescension and no sex isn't enough to hold on to a woman? Cluck, cluck, cluck. What are we, ladies at a quilting bee? Or are we men playing a fantasy card game set in a magical frontier town? Sorry. Creepy Tepee. Annie Ogly. Hocus Pocus Pocahontas. And may I point out it is the three of you who are obsessed with Stuart and Amy, not me. I think you need to ask yourselves who's really being ridiculous here. (spurs jingling jangling) - It's you. - You are. - Totally you. Hey, guys, check it out. The deluxe limited edition "Wild West and Witches" expansion pack in the signed and numbered collector's tin. LEONARD: Come on, no! We just bought the regular pack. Ooh, a sheriff's badge. (chuckles) Yeah, it's also a wand. With a hologram? Nice! Hey, do you see this? I'm in the matrix, Leonard; I see everything. You got to be kidding me. You friended Stuart on Facebook? I thought you didn't like Facebook anymore. Don't be silly. I'm a fan of anything that tries to replace actual human contact. KOOTHRAPPALI: Please. You're looking at Facebook to find out how their date went. Really? You think I care if a man, what, "shared a pumpkin latte with a dynamite lady"? You're so full of it. You are free to believe whatever you like. And unfriend Rajesh Koothrappali. You unfriended me? Seriously? Oh, yeah. Now he's gonna miss all those great updates like, "I can't believe I waited this long (Indian accent): to make my own potpourri"" Sheldon, why don't you just acknowledge that you have feelings for Amy and you don't want her going out with other men? And unfriend Leonard Hofstadter. Here's a radical thought. Go old-school, challenge Stuart to a fight. I mean, nothing makes the ladies hotter than two skinny white guys swatting at each other with their eyes closed. And unfriend Howard Wolowitz. That's all of us. - Can I use the laptop? - Why? I have to buy that stupid collector's tin. PENNY: Who do we love? Penny. Who do we love? Penny. Who do we love? Penny. Hello, Sheldon. Come on in. Thank you. What's up? I came to ask if you would like to go on a date with me. I'm sorry, what? A date. You and me. Dining, dancing, perhaps you'd like to take in a prizefight. (microwave beeps) God, are you trying to make Amy jealous? No. Why is everyone so obsessed with Amy and Stuart? Whether or not they may be having more pumpkin lattes or intercourse tonight. Okay, listen to me. Playing games is not gonna help get Amy back. I am not trying to get her back. But, out of curiosity, what is a way? All right, honey, let me tell you a story. There was a guy I liked, and I never told him how I felt. Eventually, he started going out with someone else, and I always regretted it. Do you see where I'm going with this? I believe I do. Mm. I'm the guy. You're not the guy. Are you sure? That would explain so much. Your constant presence in my apartment, that baffling dalliance with Leonard just to be near me, the way you call me "sweetie" all the time. I call everyone "sweetie." You tramp. (sighs) Look, Sheldon, all I'm saying is strap on a pair and go talk to Amy. "Strap on a pair"? Of what, skates? Oh, sweetie, you are so not the guy. (quiet, dramatic musical score playing in movie) If you're bored, you can go. I understand. No, I'm having a nice time. (scoffs) Don't patronize me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Excuse me. Hi, Stuart. Hi, Sheldon. Pardon me... Excuse me... Sheldon, what are you doing here? The thought of you sitting in a darkened theater with a character like Stuart is repellent. No offense, Stuart. None taken. Although "repellent" is kind of a... kind of a strong word. I'm sorry this causes you discomfort, but based on the currently established parameters of our relationship, I can put myself in any repellent situation I want. Um, again... Stuart, please. You're being rude. Anything else? I believe I would like to alter the paradigm of our relationship. I'm listening. With the understanding that nothing changes whatsoever, physical or otherwise, I would not object to us no longer characterizing you as "not my girlfriend." Interesting. Now try it without the quadruple negative. You're being impossible. Hi, Stuart. Fine. Amy... will you be my girlfriend? Yes. Well, that's enough of that. Sorry to interrupt. You two enjoy your date. Here's a dollar for your troubles. Get yourself some Sour Patch Kids. Excuse me... Excuse me... Pardon me... Excuse me. Pardon me. So, other than you taking your relationship to the next level with another guy, this was nice. Yes, well, thanks for seeing me to my door. Oh, you're welcome. (knocking) SHELDON: Amy. Amy. Amy. Let's wrap things up out there. Um, good night, Stuart. Good night. SHELDON: Take the hint, Stuart. The lady said "Good night." How did you get into my apartment? Wow. Is that the kind of nagging I can expect now that you're my girlfriend? Good thing I drew this up. What's that? I present to you the relationship agreement. A binding covenant that, in its 31 pages, enumerates, iterates and codifies the rights and responsibilities of Sheldon Lee Cooper, here and after known as "the boyfriend," and Amy Farrah Fowler, here and after known as "the girlfriend"" It's so romantic. Mutual indemnification always is. Why don't you start perusing while I set up my notary stamp. "Section 5: Hand-holding. "Hand-holding is only allowed "under the following circumstances. "A: Either party is in danger of falling off a cliff, "precipice or ledge; "B: Either party is deserving of a hearty handshake "after winning a Nobel Prize; C: Moral support during flu shots"" Seems a bit restrictive. Feel free to retain a lawyer. Penny, I said "right hand red." Yeah, I heard you. I got red. Bernadette, left foot yellow. (groans) We should play limbo next. No one beats me at limbo. (knocking) SHELDON: Penny. Amy. Bernadette. That's my boyfriend. It's open! I got a splinter. What do you want me to do about it? Relationship agreement Section 4: Boo-boos and Ouchies. You have to take care of it. I should've gotten a lawyer. Looks like it's just us playing. (snoring) Penny? Penny, we're out of wine! You should probably drive. == sync, corrected by elderman == A star gate encoded in the dome of our nation's Capitol... Strange symbols found on our most famous monuments... And a mysterious flying disc appearing in a painting of George Washington. What is the meaning behind secret messages found throughout our nation's capital? And might there be more to America's origins than we've been told? CHRIS PITTMAN: For Benjamin Franklin, belief in extraterrestrials was part of a scientific view of the world. BILL BIRNES: Thomas Jefferson still remains as the highest public official ever to make a report of a UFO in American history. DAVID CHILDRESS: We have to wonder if extraterrestrials were there monitoring our progress. NARRATOR: Millions of people around the world believe we have been visited in the past by extraterrestrial beings. What if it were true? Did ancient aliens really help to shape our history? And could extraterrestrial forces have been behind the founding of the United States of America? Washington, D.C. July 19, 1952. Tensions between the United States and the Soviet Union are at an all time high, fueled by the Soviets' opposition to American involvement in the Korean War. At this critical juncture, an air traffic controller at Washington National Airport picks up seven strange objects on his radar screen. But he quickly determines the aircraft are not Soviet military. PITTMAN: From the tower, they were also able to see very large bright lights, moving very quickly speeding away at very high speeds, or simply disappearing. BILL BIRNES: They didn't just appear and go they appeared over the capitol building Over the skies, over the White House. Over the Washington Monument NARRATOR: Fighter jets are scrambled to intercept the strange objects. But as the jets close in, all seven suddenly disappear. PITTMAN: Some Air Force officers reported that airmen had tried to shoot down UFOs but had not been able to because the UFOs were able to fly faster than our aircraft. NARRATOR: Days after the breach of capital airspace, Major General John Samford, Director of lntelligence for the United States Air Force, addressed the issue at a Pentagon press conference. SAMFORD: We have received and analyzed between 1,000 and 2,000 reports. There have been a certain percentage that have been made by credible observers of relatively incredible things. BIRNES: Washington is capital of the United States. So the point was to demonstrate at the height of of the Cold War, that they were a power greater than us. CHILDRESS: It's sometimes thought that during periods of political upheaval and turning points and history that these extraterrestrials suddenly show up NARRATOR: What were these strange lights that penetrated the airspace of the U.S. capital? Could they have been, as ancient astronaut theorists suggest, alien craft-- sent here to monitor this turning point in our history? If so, even as far back as the founding of the United States of America? CHILDRESS: Just prior to the Revolutionary War, what a lot of the scientists would do at that time was meet once a month during the full moon, and they called themselves the Lunar Society. And Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson were part of all this. And they would meet to discuss new scientific ideas, life on other planets, and how they could create a United States that was different from other countries. NARRATOR: On July 4, 1776-- in the midst of the American Revolution-- the colonies formally severed their ties to England. The men behind the movement-- the Founding Fathers-- had risked, in the words of the Declaration of Independence, "their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor" on an ideal and now looked to create, not just a new nation, but a new world. But unlike the monarchies of Europe and Asia, the new American government would eventually be based on the ancient philosophies of Greece and Rome. GEORGIO TSOUKALOS: When it took you four days to get from Virginia to New York in the middle of the night, with their kerosene lamps and their candles they read the ancient Greek classics how did they found United States. on principles of the ancient world. AKRAM ELIAS: Having a bunch of men, geniuses on their own right at all levels gathered at one point in time to try to come up with a new experiment for humanity and it is extraordinary. The Romans used to call it Fortuna. Or in other words, when the gods conspire on your behalf. NARRATOR: After the war, on July 16th, 1790, plans were announced for the construction of a national capital to be built on the banks of the Potomac River. Named after George Washington, the new nation's first president, it would be designed to resemble classic Greco-Roman architecture. But why? What was the reason behind the Founding Fathers' near-obsession with the ancient world? MICHAEL CROWE: In the 5th century, 4th century B.C there was a very active debate in regard with the question of extraterrestrial life, ***, being Democrates and ***, Epicurus and Lucretius all believed in the plurality of worlds, they all believed in extraterrestrial life. NARRATOR: For the Founding Fathers, this idea of the plurality of worlds, was well-known as one of the cornerstones of ancient philosophy. One that was finding greater popularity what was known in the 18th century as the Age of Enlightenment MARK KOLTO-RIVERA: The Enlightenment was a social movement that said we should look at the universe in a rational way. And that was the hub of the wheel, so to speak. And from that hub, many spokes came out. You had a concern with science, and you had belief in the plurality of worlds, which seemed scientifically plausible. CROWE: The Enlightenment figures, at least half-- including scientists, political theorists, philosophers, literary people-- talked about extraterrestrials in their writings. It was very widespread in 18th century thought. NARRATOR: Even one of the most prominent astronomers of the time, William Herschel, believed that intelligent life existed elsewhere in the universe. SARA SEAGER: His claim to fame is he discovered the planet Uranus he also discovered a couple of moons of Jupiter, a couple of moons of Saturn and he build hundreds of telescopes, including the largest one of its age. DERRICK PITTS: It's a 40 inch reflecting telescope, this is an enormous instrument anywhere in the world, at that time. So he now has the ability to observe all sorts of wonders of the universe So now the idea of the plurality of worlds, gains credence with this particular scientist and observer. CROWE: Regularly in his writings about the planets, he referred to the inhabitants of Jupiter, Saturn or Uranus. NARRATOR: Herschel was instrumental in furthering the debate about the possibility of extraterrestrial life. But perhaps most influential of all was Benjamin Franklin. PITTMAN: Ben Franklin has been called the first American. He was an author and a printer. He was a scientist and an inventor, and also a politician and a statesman. He was a profound thinker and an intellectual. For Benjamin Franklin, a belief in extraterrestrials was part of a scientific view of the world. NARRATOR: One way Franklin used to disseminate his thoughts on extraterrestrial life was in his own publication, the immensely popular Poor Richard's Almanac. STEVEN BULLOCK: In Poor Richard's Almanac, well, he suggests that it's the opinion of scientists that other planets are habitable, that there are beings on there. And he presents this in a sort of a matter of fact way it's kind of surprising, I think, probably even to most of the historians the way this seems to be something which he takes for granted, it's just assumed that way. TSOUKALOS: In 1728, Benjamin Franklin wrote, "I believe that man is not the most perfect being, but one. So there are many degrees of "beings superior to him." Franklin essentially suggested that extraterrestrial life exists. NARRATOR: But the ancient philosophers were not the only influence on the Founding Fathers' growing openness to the idea of extraterrestrial life. The Native Americans they encountered not only shared the belief that life exists throughout the universe, but even believed they were the descendants of extraterrestrials. WILLIAM HENRY: Benjamin Franklin was deeply interested in the star legends of the native americans He was deeply connected with the legends of the Iroquois, confederacy DONALD A GRINDE, Jr.: Franklin's indian treaties were pamphlets that he published from the 1730s to the 1760s they frequently recorded explanations of native culture NARRATOR: One of Franklin's best-selling pamphlets chronicled the Iroquois creation story of the Sky Woman. GRINDE: Before Earth really became what it is today, there were beings that were similar to us living in the sky. One day, a young woman- - Sky Woman, as she is to become-- became pregnant. She is to go down to the world below. So this extraterrestrial that lived in the sky, she comes down, and then the human race begins. NARRATOR: Did America's Founding Fathers really believe in the possibility of life on other planets? And if so, was their belief based not only on scientific and philosophical principles, but on firsthand experiences with extraterrestrials? Ancient astronaut theorists believe that such a notion is not only possible, but that the evidence exists in a firsthand account from one of George Washington's closest aides, and his recollection of a strange, close encounter on a cold winter night at Valley Forge. Valley Forge, Pennsylvania. Winter, 1777. NARRATOR: It is the height of the American Revolutionary War. After several bloody battles against superior British forces, George Washington's army is in tatters. BULLOCK: Valley Forge is the winter encampment of the Continental Army the army which is set by the nation to fight the revolution The British had taken Philadelphia, washing on the sides he is gonna headquarter some 12,000 troops were outside of Philadelphia. GRINDE: This is the darkest time of the American Revolution when people thought that the United States was really not going to win BULLOCK: Washington is trying to figure out what he's going to do, and trying to keep the army together. There's very little money. There's almost no supplies. They often don't have shoes. Lots of stories of things like bloody footprints in the snow. NARRATOR: So severe were the conditions that Washington wrote, "Unless some great and capital change suddenly takes place, this army must inevitably starve, dissolve or disperse." But ultimately Washington's will to remain at Valley Forge forced the British to retreat and proved to be a turning point in the war. What was it that sustained Washington in these dark hours? Some believe it was a strange vision he received during a moment of prayer. BIRNES: In a moment of absolute misery he went off into the woods to pray. And there in the forest, he had this magnificent vision of a creature garbed in white. And this creature, call it an extraterrestrial call it a heavenly spirit, but it was an otherworldly presence-- laid out for Washington the victory that the Continental Army would have in the Revolutionary War against the British, and laid out the history of the new United States of America. TSOUKALOS: He sees a map of the United States, and rain drops onto this map, and cities are popping up throughout the entire country. A model of how the United States would look in 100 or 200 years in the future BIRNES: Now, how do we know this? We know this because an aide to General Washington lived to be over 100 years old, told this story to a newspaper of our first general having an alien encounter. NARRATOR: Could George Washington really have had an extraterrestrial visitation at Valley Forge? Or was this just a story he told to build up morale? Ancient astronaut theorists claim to have also uncovered evidence that throughout the Revolutionary War, George Washington himself may have unknowingly come in direct contact with extraterrestrials. CHILDRESS: One of the strangest stories about George Washington which allegedly comes from diaries that he kept that Washington would meet occasionally with these mysterious people he called "Green Skins." BIRNES: Washington sees a green glowing ball hovering in the tree line, and out of this, Washington sees these small figures. What were they? Were they, as Washington thought they might have been, small Native Americans in war paint? One theory is that these were extraterrestrials, observing this cataclysmic event. PITTMAN: George Washington's vision at Valley Forge during the Revolutionary War is just one of the examples of a great many stories we have about miraculous visions and apparitions during times of war and bloodshed. Some people believe that it's during these crucial times in human history that perhaps aliens would be most interested in interacting with us. NARRATOR: Did George Washington really encounter green-skinned visitors and witnessed glowing orbs at Valley Forge? And, if so, might there be additional evidence of alien encounters with other Founding Fathers? April 5th, 1800. The city of Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Astronomer William Dunbar reports to then Vice President Jefferson that he witnessed a bright glowing light the size of a large house hovering 200 yards above ground. PITTS: It was quite bright, radiated a tremendous amount of heat and crashed not so far away. It destroyed that whole area where it crashed However, given the supposed size and speed with which the object was moving, it didn't seem to create a crater of a size of what it would have been appropriate for an object like that. PITTMAN: The details of the sighting report make it impossible that it could have been a meteor; it wasn't moving fast enough to be a meteor. It was something unexplained, something very unusual. And Jefferson took this report very seriously. He passed this report on as he would pass on any other account of a scientific discovery or a natural observation. BIRNES: Jefferson was so impressed by the account that Jefferson, Vice President of the United States, presented this to the American Philosophical Society. PITTS: So who was this American Philosophical Society, anyway? Well, it was founded by Benjamin Franklin in Philadelphia, and it really was the intellectual cognoscenti of America at that time. So here we have some of the greatest thinkers here in the United States, all pooled together in one group that could write research papers, write philosophical papers, examine all sorts of phenomena from a scientific point of view. PITTMAN: It's no coincidence that Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin both believed in extraterrestrial life. They were men of science, they were astronomers who studied weather patterns. And their belief in extraterrestrials was part of their scientific view of the world and of the universe. BIRNES: For Thomas Jefferson to report a UFO sighting still remains the highest public official ever to make a report of a UFO in American history. NARRATOR: George Washington's close encounter with an otherworldly being... Thomas Jefferson reporting a UFO sighting... could these incidents suggest that the Founding Fathers not only believed in the existence of extraterrestrials, but actually encountered them? Perhaps the answer can be found hidden in the symbols and codes of a secret society, one to which Washington himself was a member. Fredricksburg, Virginia. 1752. 20-year-old George Washington is initiated into a secret society: the Freemasons. Among his fellow members are many other Founding Fathers, like Benjamin Franklin, John Hancock and Paul Revere. But what is Freemasonry? What role did it play in the founding of the United States? And what meanings lie behind their many mysterious symbols? ELIAS: There are a lot of theories about the true origins of Freemasonry. What we know for a fact is that definitely with the age of the Renaissance this is when people decided to start studying ancient civilizations. And see was there any knowledge in those civilizations that was lost? NARRATOR: According to experts, the Freemasons believed in the idea of acquiring knowledge through largely scientific as well as spiritual means. In the age of Enlightenment, this included the possibility of extraterrestrial life. ELIAS: Freemason was like main vehicle, if you want, that brought these ideas and principles of the Enlightenment to the new world. KOLTKO-RIVERA: You have the most prominent citizens of the community becoming freemasons and then associating with one another. They would be discussing the major issues of the day and certainly the speculations about the plurality of worlds. NARRATOR: Could the growing belief in the possibility of extraterrestrial life have influenced the Founding Fathers' vision for America? RIVERA: In terms of the Declaration of Independence, there were 56 signers. Of those, nine were definitely Freemasons. Concerning the signers of the Constitution, there were 39 signers, 13 of them-- a clear third-- were Freemasons. NARRATOR: But does the influence of Freemasonry explain why Masonic values are woven into the principles behind America's most important documents? And could this also explain how and why Masonic symbols can be found on much of the nation's monuments and architecture? ELIAS: In the design of Washington, the language of symbols is very important, and that's where we see connections with Freemasonry. The original universal symbol of Freemasonry is the square and compass. The compass is the main tool of the individual. You are at the point, and the idea in Freemasonry is that the individual is sovereign. You draw a circle, using the compass, around you. If you go beyond the perimeter, that's when you start to go into knowledge and light. The square is considered a symbol of wisdom. And the letter "G" stands for the grand architect of the universe. RIVERA: People have to wonder whether Franklin's beliefs about the plurality of worlds somehow made their way into Masonic symbolism. The same people who were involved in the development of Freemasonry were very interested in Egypt. They were inspired by the idea of ancient wisdom. NARRATOR: Other Masonic symbols found in Washington D.C. are eerily similar to the icons of ancient Egypt-- the sphinx, the obelisk, the pyramid and the All-Seeing Eye. CHILDRESS: If you were to pull out a dollar bill right now and look at it, you would see that on one side is a depiction of the Great Pyramid of Egypt with an all-seeing eye at its apex. This is the Great Seal of the United States and it's an awesome mystical symbol of the Eye of God watching us and also how ancient civilizations were divine in nature. And that the Founding Fathers were to recreate that here in the United States. ELIAS: The idea is we need a source of light in order to help us become enlightened. We cannot do it alone. Now that to the Founding Fathers is whatever is out there that is keeping an eye. And there is a belief that this experiment did not just happen. It was necessary to help the human condition make a major leap. It's like the alignment of the stars, providence was there, watching and interacting. NARRATOR: Why did this group of 18th-century men who set out to build a nation based on principles of logic and reason attach such importance to pre-Christian symbols and ancient mysticism? And who-- or what-- did they believe was watching over them? God? Or something else? According to ancient astronaut theorists, the answer can be found in an 1866 lithograph of George Washington that resides in the Library of Congress. CHILDRESS: There's a famous painting of George Washington as a Freemason. And over his right shoulder is an unusual scene of Jacob's Ladder ascending to Heaven and what seems to be some kind of spaceship there in the sky. NARRATOR: In the biblical story of Jacob from Genesis 28th, Jacob witnesses angels ascending and descending a ladder from Heaven. But in this painting, the ladder comes not from Heaven, but out of a dark, round object emitting multi-colored lights. Although Jacob's Ladder is a popular symbol of Freemasonry, is it possible that this image is attempting to depict something else? Something of an extraterrestrial origin? TSOUKALOS: According to the ancient astronaut ideas, Jacob's ladder was nothing else but a ramp or a device with which to reach the realm of the gods. And the gods were extraterrestrials. NARRATOR: The square and compass... the All-Seeing Eye... Jacob's Ladder. What do all these symbols reveal about the true origins of the United States of America? Ancient astronaut theorists don't only point to the presence of Masonic symbols and pre-Christian influences as evidence of the Founding Fathers' extraterrestrial connections. They also find proof in the fact that even the very layout of Washington D.C. points to the stars. Alexandria, Virginia. 1791 In a full Masonic ceremony on the edge of the Potomac River, George Washington lays the first cornerstone marking the southern boundary for what will become the District of Columbia. ELIAS: What happens in the laying of the cornerstone? Washington scattered corn. You pour wine and pour oil. Now, corn stands for prosperity, oil stands for peace, and wine stands for happiness. BULLOCK: You have Masons chanting in response to it. You have an oration afterwards in which artilleries fire during the duration. So it's an extraordinary ceremony. NARRATOR: According to scholars, the nation's capital has been steeped in ancient symbolism since its inception. And ancient astronaut theorists point to the city's tallest structure, the Washington Monument, as proof that the American capital was built with a deliberate eye to the stars. Although construction began in 1848, nearly 50 years after George Washington's death, the Freemasons built the Egyptian-style monument so that the constellation Pleiades would be visible directly over the giant obelisk. PITTS: The Pleiades is a group of seven bright stars For the egyptians, they would use these stars as a way to figure out all sorts of judgments that needed to be made in many different things TSOUKALOS: I find it fascinating that in the ancient world in places of great power and great influence they built monuments aligned with the Pleiades So the fact that we find the Washington Monument also aligning with the Pleiades... is that coincidence? NARRATOR: In a city largely built to evoke ancient cities like Athens and Rome, is the dominant architectural structure based on an icon of ancient Egypt? RIVERA: It is the largest obelisk in the world, 555 ft high. It draws the eye and it draws the eye up, We have to ask, what did the Founding Fathers want us to see? HENRY: The idea of the obelisk is that it's frozen sunlight. They believed that the energy of the God Ra literally came through that antenna. The same concept is shown here in Washington D.C, with the Obelisk, sitting in the center of Washington or near the center of Washington, bring in that energy from the stars and radiating it out to the sacred precinct ELIAS: They have a reflecting pool-- why? To reflect the obelisk. Washington's Monument points to the Heavens. With the reflecting pool, it points below. There is a direct correlation between what happens here below and what's happening up there. NARRATOR: For ancient astronaut theorists, it's not just the placement of the Washington Monument and the Capitol Building that point to the stars, but the layout of the entire city, which harkens back to ancient places like Egypt, Greece and Rome. RIVERA: Washington D.C. is laid out in perfectly straight lines, radiating from different little hubs around the city. They converge on places like the Capitol Building, the White House. It is a revelation of clarity that highlights the cornerstones of American democracy. HENRY: Washington D.C. was conceived from the very beginning as a sacred space. In fact, it is a ten-by-ten square-mile diamond matrix into which the Founding Fathers believed they could pour all their Enlightenment teachings and bring them to life within its Capitols and its other buildings. NARRATOR: Another Freemason, Pierre Charles L'Enfant, was selected by President Washington to create a layout of the city within the ten-mile diamond of the District of Columbia. He began by aligning the corners of the square with the four cardinal directions: north, south, east and west. ELIAS: It is not by coincidence. There is a scientific rational way of developing the city of Washington with geometric shapes-- circles, rectangles, triangles-- and this is to emphasize that this new form of government was not going to rely on religion... but we're going to rely on reason and scientific discovery. And the design of the city reflects that. And there is absolutely no other capital city in the world that was designed like this. There is no question that the main triangle at the heart of the city was very key, and connecting the Capitol to the White House, and then to the Washington Monument. NARRATOR: Some historians believe the triangle found in the center of Washington D.C. represent the Masonic symbol of the square and compass, symbolizing the Founding Fathers' search for enlightenment from above. But ancient astronaut theorists claim beyond this triangle lies an even more significant geometric shape-- the shape of pentagram. BIRNES: The interesting thing about Jefferson's design's of Washington D.C, was the star. With rows emanating in all directions from the star that seemed to be a mirror of the heavens, because Jefferson did believe that the heavens were inhabited, and he wanted Washington D.C., not just to be the capital of the United States of America, but the capital of the universe. NARRATOR: George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were both expert surveyors and mapmakers, and were hands on in the layout and design of the new capital. BIRNES: George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, who was an architect that built Monticello, laid out Washington D.C. with the expectation that somehow, if there were extraterrestrials, they would see the image of the star at the center of the city, and know this was a sign that we respected extraterrestrial life. NARRATOR: Did the design and placement of the Washington Monument, Capitol Hill and the National Mall really reflect the Founding Fathers' belief in extraterrestrial forces? Perhaps the answer can be found by a close examination of the Capitol Building itself, and the strange connection to other worlds that can be found inside. Washington D.C., 1791. Jenkins Hill. Pierre L'Enfant declares this location "a pedestal waiting for a monument." For the next two years, he works closely with George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, designing the building that will sit at the top of this hill and house the United States Congress. On September 18, 1793, the day of the Autumn Equinox, Washington lays the cornerstone for the Capitol Building, and Jenkins Hill officially becomes Capitol Hill, the heart of the new democracy. HENRY: The concept of the ancient and sacred hill was deeply in the minds of the Founding Fathers. In Boston we have high hills that were important. We have Monticello being built on a hill, we have Capitol Hill. So the Founding Fathers clearly understood the importance of the Temple Mount concept. NARRATOR: But was the design and placement of the Capitol Building directly influenced by Washington and Jefferson's reported contact with alien beings? Ancient astronaut theorists point to evidence in the form of the statue that still sits atop the Capitol Dome, placed there after the current dome was completed in 1866. HENRY: The Freedom Statue is a 19-and-a-half-foot-tall statue of a goddess who actually is morphing into an eagle. This is very important in ancient alien theory, because the ancient gods were portrayed as eagle-headed. So it looks like freedom is being referenced here as a star being. NARRATOR: Inside the dome, directly in line with the Freedom Statue, is an empty tomb that had been designed to hold the remains of George Washington. One floor above it is the crypt, then the Capitol Rotunda, and soaring 180 feet above that is a painting of Washington, looking very much like an ancient god. PITTS: If one goes to the Capitol Rotunda and looks at the artwork on the ceiling you see what is called the "apotheosis" of Washington. It's an enormous painting that depicts Washington in a very interesting setting. HENRY: The painting was completed by Constantino Brumidi in 1865. The word "apotheosis" is a Greek word that means to deify, to raise from a man to a god man. PITTS: You see him depicted as you would see a god depicted. He sits in a setting of clouds with what look like angels immediately surrounding him, with a big rainbow that runs right underneath his feet. HENRY: When we're in the Rotunda, the dome of the U.S. Capitol, we are literally in a vortex of energy. Domes are places where Heaven and Earth meet. They literally are considered to be portals or gateways to the stars. NARRATOR: There is another depiction of Washington that specifically represents him as a divine figure. BIRNES: Congress authorized an incredible statue of George Washington by *** in which he is depicted as Zeus or Jupiter. HENRY: The statue had several key features that identified him as a man of peace and a conductor of Heaven and Earth. His sword is offered to the viewer of the statue, indicating he's here in peace. And then on the sides of the statue you have a very important representation of the god Apollo riding his sun chariot or star chariot. So the idea that we get from all of this is that Washington is a cosmic being who is riding through the Heavens on his own star chariot. NARRATOR: Could the symbols, monuments and alignments found throughout Washington D.C. be evidence that the Founding Fathers actually believed otherworldly beings were instrumental if the new American experiment in government were to survive and prosper? Was their interest in the stars, and their belief in the possibility that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe, based on the ideas of the Enlightenment, or actual close encounters? PITTMAN: We've gone from Benjamin Franklin's electricity experiments to space travel in less than 250 years, and it's brought about really vast changes in American society But what hasn't changed is that desire to know more about space and that desire to find out is there really life outside of our planet? PITTS: Not only is the Founding Fathers' belief in the plurality of worlds alive today, it also is being pursued scientifically in a way that they had no capability to do. And this is a concept that has been considered ever since the first person looked up at the night sky and wondered about what's out there. NARRATOR: Did George Washington receive some secret knowledge at Valley Forge that guided him in the founding of the United States? Did he share this information with other Founding Fathers, like Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin? And did they, in turn, pass this knowledge down to the men who followed them? If extraterrestrials really were present during the founding of the United States, did they come here to watch over us? Was there some ultimate plan? And if so, will they return once more? Mass suicides Human sacrifices... Unholy rituals... They had ripped vertebrae from his backbone to make a necklace. And his body parts were put in a cauldron. Throughout history, people have claimed to have otherworldly knowledge-- and have led followers to commit horrific acts of violence. Are they con men? Are they insane? Or might the voices in their heads really be of an extraterrestrial origin? Applewhite made the claim that he was chosen to reveal the truth as known to these alien beings. They believed that those gods wanted them to commit these acts. We have to ask ourselves, are they doing this simply for their own amusement? Or, are they possibly leading us in a direction, to attain something that they want? Millions of people around the world believe we have been visited in the past by extraterrestrial beings. What if it were true? Did ancient aliens really help to shape our history? And might they be behind mankind's deadliest cults? San Diego, California. March 26th, 1997. In a multi-million dollar mansion in the gated community of Rancho Santa Fe, police make a bizarre and horrifying discovery. There were 39 bodies found. All of them dressed identically, all with the same Nike tennis shoes, all covered in purple shrouds, all with the same haircut. All indications are that this was a mass suicide. 39 neatly arranged corpses The final act of devotion to a charismatic leader named Marshall Applewhite and the suicide cult he created known as Heaven's Gate. We do know one thing, we don't care to clean to the life of this body. Applewhite believed that on that particular night a UFO would appear and the members of Heaven's Gate committed mass suicide immediately their souls would be beamed up to the UFO. We're ready to leave this place. Marshall Applewhite... Charles Manson... Adolfo Constanzo... Shoko Asahara. Today, cult leaders are often written off as con men, hucksters, or criminally insane. But in the ancient world, entire empires were also ruled by men who claimed to have direct links to a higher power. The Roman emperor Caligula who is perhaps the most infamous, ruthless and sadistic ruler of ancient Rome, he would even remove the heads of statues of gods and then place his own head there. It was a concept that the Romans had inherited from the Greeks and the Egyptians. The whole kingship of the egyptian rested on the belief that there had been a divine king called Osiris, who had come from the sky Ruling Egypt with his sister wife Isis, and from her was born a male child called Horus. Every pharaoh believe themselves to be the reincarnation of Horus. They truly believe this. The pharaoh clearly was really invoking, and convoking the message of the gods to his people It was that authority that built the pyramids; that built the temple complex at Luxor, because the people believed they were serving a god. But were the ancient kings, pharaohs, and religious leaders merely deceiving their subjects by claiming to have a connection to the gods? Or might they have had actual contact with divine or, as some would describe, "otherworldly" beings? When we look at those ancient systems of belief where the ruler, the emperor, the king was not just the divine representative of the gods, but was a god himself. We can see obvious parallels with modern day cults. Gods and aliens may at the end be the same, it's simply using different names. Is this a spaceman from another planet or is this a god? And it's simply our terminology. While in the hospital recovering from a heart attack in the early 1970s, Marshall Applewhite professed to have a vision that he and his nurse, Bonnie Nettles, were the so-called, "two witnesses" as described in the New Testament Book of Revelation. After further visions, Applewhite's story evolved-- he told his followers that he and Nettles were actually aliens inhabiting human bodies. Applewhite made the claim that he was the exclusive means by which a power from outer space would communicate with the world, that he had been chosen to reveal the truth as known to these superior alien beings. Part of our test of faith is our hating this world-- even our flesh body enough to be willing to leave it without any proof other than what we have come to know. Whether the visions Marshall Applewhite had were real or imagined, one thing is certain-- he believed in them completely. He clearly believed his own teachings and in fact, castrated himself surgically because that was part of the teaching. They believed that highly evolved beings would have no sexual characteristics. Someone who is a con man is not going to do this. If Applewhite really was contacted by extraterrestrials, were they the same beings that ancient astronaut theorists say visited earth thousands of years ago? But if so why would they ultimately betray and deceive him? Some believe the answer can be found in the creation story as told by the Sumerians of Mesopotamia, the world's oldest known civilization. The ancient Mesopotamians stories talked about how the ancient E.T.s really wanted to keep control over the human race. In Sumerian mythology, the god Enki created humans as a slave race-- but his superiors forbade him from giving them knowledge of their true origins, for fear of revolt. That was actually the express intent of these extraterrestrials to actually create that kind of ignorance. It's actually talked about in some of the old creation stories and that was really what the Biblical Adam and Eve story talked about as well, when Adam and Eve wanted to partake of the fruit, which was a symbol for knowledge, but the gods said, "No, you cannot have access to that knowledge." According to the ancient Sumerian texts, Enki defies his superiors and hands down this forbidden knowledge to a secret society known as the Brotherhood of the Snake. The Brotherhood of the Snake was originally an organization by a benevolent alien who wanted to bring this knowledge but the other aliens objected, defeated him and in fact, turned the Brotherhood around until it became a sinister force in history. So, now the Brotherhood of the Snake is used to undermine the human race. According to ancient legend, the gods infiltrated the Brotherhood of the Snake and the knowledge of their true origin was distorted and humans would follow false gods and masters. According to the legend, the original Brotherhood of the Snake spread out into many diverse cults. And those cults in various incarnations are still fighting one another today. So maybe the truth is we're worshiping the same people more and more just in a different way. And we're understanding better that they're not necessarily gods. They're just advanced creatures, kind of like us, that are coming here and visiting us for a long time. Might extraterrestrials really have posed as false gods in order to keep humans under their control? And if so, could they have appeared to Marshall Applewhite and manipulated him and his followers into committing a horrific ritual suicide? Ancient astronaut theorists believe the answer is a chilling yes. And for further evidence, they point to a series of shallow graves and a Mexican drug lord believed to have supernatural powers. Matamoros, Mexico. 1989. Police investigating the mysterious disappearance of an American college student make a shocking discovery. On property belonging to drug lord Adolfo Constanzo, they find 12 bodies buried in a row. Some have been shot... others hacked to death with a machete. And one of the graves contains the mutilated body of the missing student, 21-year-old Mark Kilroy. They had ripped vertebrae from his backbone to make a necklace. And his body parts were put in a cauldron. Constanzo followers believed fervently in his claims of supernatural power. And it was that power that was the glue that held the cult together. And enabled him to murder as many as 23 or more people. But what could have inspired such brutal and senseless murders? Was it madness? Evil? Or was Constanzo guided, as he professed to his followers, by otherworldly beings? Adolfo Constanzo practiced what is known as Palo sorcery, which is a type of sorcery derived from African religions. He was a worker of witchcraft who was trusted by drug traffickers to protect them. He became their miracle worker, and to work his miracles, he created a cauldron in which he would have dismembered parts of human bodies, of brain, all of this to create incantations or spells to protect his sponsors. He claimed that he could protect them from the police, he could protect them from bullets, and they believed in him. This culminated in him kidnapping and murdering and mutilating different victims. According to scholars, Palo Mayombe incorporates traditions and gods from numerous West African religions, but Constanzo claimed a direct connection to Kadiempembe, more commonly known by the Yoruban name, Eshu. Eshu, he's got this very elongated head, he's got the very large eyes. He looks a lot, in the sculptures of him, like an extraterrestrial. He doesn't look very different from the modern day greys and ET's that we see so commonly. Was Adolfo Constanzo really in touch with an extraterrestrial being? If so, what does that say about the good or evil motors of alien visitors? Eshu was the trickster god, he could speak all the languages he can change form, he can confuse, he likes to destroy things, he also likes to create opportunities. So he can sneak up on you in any number of ways, he can be completely devious. He's the most ***, a god who might tell you the truth three times in a row, though in the full time, he's gonna lie and and that is the lie that's gonna trick you up. And he's been setting his court of feeding you truth giving you hell only to set you up for a foul maybe for comic effect or maybe for much more serious effect. Eshu is also represented in Haitian Voodoo as Papa Legba, a god that has been linked to another notorious mass murderer. Papa Legba is Eshu. This is the Voodoo name for the same energy. Papa Legba can speak all languages, even the languages of animals, so he channels his energy through dogs, and actually is somewhat fond of that particular species, so he'll more often take that animal form than others. The terrible serial murderer, the Son of Sam, David Berkowitz, said he got his orders from dogs. One could speculate Papa Legba is speaking through the dog to the sinister end. Could the homicidal acts of men like Adolfo Constanzo and David Berkowitz have really been inspired by some unearthly entity? According to ancient astronaut theorists, such an audacious idea is possible, and for evidence, they point to a number of ancient legends and beliefs throughout the world. If you look across mankind's wonderful variety of these beliefs there are some odd type of god figures which occur in culture after culture after culture they're completely resilient to change its infortune of empires in history One of the most powerful of these gods, which occurs in several cultures across vast of different periods in history, is the trickster figure. Trickster gods seem strange to Christians because they appear to be demonic. But typically, in traditional religions, the gods are amoral. And they have good and bad qualities, and they can do mischief as well as good. And among their number is Loki among the Norse gods. Loki was a shape-shifter. He could be a fish, often a salmon, or a falcon so he could go fly. He could make himself in any shape he liked, usually for mischief. Among the Native Americans, there was the coyote, a great trickster. In the Anasazi, there was Kokopelli. Among the Aztecs and the Mesoamericans, there was Tezcatlipoca. Even the Christian idea of Satan is a trickster god. We have to ask are they doing this simply for their own amusement? Or are they possibly leading us in a direction to attain something that they want? It makes sense that a lot of the gods that we consider "trickster gods" really weren't gods at all. They were extraterrestrials that set themselves up as gods. It's perfectly logical that if you come to a place like the Earth, which is not nearly as advanced, of course you'd set yourself up as a god, or a king, or both. If we look across the whole range of new religions and new cults which have claimed contact with various alien beings, quite often we see a real trickster element at work. One of my favorite examples of what I would consider to be a trickster god form, in a very modern UFO framework, would be Spectra, which was claimed to be an alien intelligence circling the Earth in the early '70s, which was in contact with Uri Geller and various other people. Beginning in 1971, renowned psychic Uri Geller, along with Andrija Puharich-- a respected scientist and parapsychologist-- claimed to be receiving mysterious telepathic messages. The messages, they said, came from a computer intelligence orbiting the Earth that called itself "Spectra." It would help them see amazing psychic phenomena. It would make very accurate predictions, which would seem to come true. And it was gathering around it a number of people that really believed that Spectra was a very special alien intelligence. Of course, it then did what many trickster gods seem to do. It told them a big lie. It told them the world was going to end. And a lot of people said, "Well, it's telling us the world is going to end. It must be going to end." And of course it didn't. Could Spectra have been a hoax? Or might it have been a so-called "trickster god"-- purposely sending false messages? And might some similar extraterrestrial force or entity have been behind the actions of Adolfo Constanzo and others like him? Quite often in a lot of UFO contactee cults, a lot of information starts off being very, very sensible, appearing to check out, appearing to have a lot of validity. But it gets stranger and weirder and predictions are made and things are promised, which are going to happen, which don't happen. We see it throughout the 21st century. Just as the new form of gods has quite often become alien or inter-dimensional or extraterrestrial, those gods are still going to behave as trickster gods. Just because they're aliens doesn't mean there's not a trickster element among them. When on May 6th, 1989, Adolfo Constanzo was cornered by the police, he ordered one of his disciples to shoot him. He was estimated to have murdered anywhere from 20 to 40 people. But what if a similar deadly cult is allowed to go unchecked for hundreds of years? Such a nightmarish possibility did, in fact, happen. And its victims numbered-- not in the dozens or hundreds-- but in the millions. Bangalore, India In the private collection of artist Jo Nambiar is a brass medallion made to honor the 18th century Italian sculptor Antonio Canova. The medallion bears the bust of the artist on one side, with his famous work The Three Graces on the other. It is unique, not only because of the medallion's artistic value, but because it is connected to literally hundreds of murders committed all by one man, known only as "Behram." When we talk about "Behram" what we're talking about is a mass murderer. He was directly responsible or a made participant in more than 900 murders. That's a staggering number, and what appalls us and intrigues us even more was, he saw this as an act of religious devotion. Behram dispatched with all his victims by means of strangulation, using a long strip of silk he wore wrapped around his waist called a ruhmal. The ruhmal had the Canova Medallion sewn into it to add weight to one end, so when thrown, it would easily wind around the intended victim's neck. But this method of murder was not unique to Behram. It was also practiced by a network of organized killers, who by the 19th century numbered in the thousands. They were known as the "Thuggee", and by even the most modest estimates, they are history's deadliest cult. Nearly two million deaths have been attributed to this cult. found in mass graves throughout India. They were really a band of thieves. They made their money by attacking people and robbing them on the roadways of India. Today, we call people often "thugs", who are robbers, or violent criminals. And this word comes from Thuggees of India. The Thuggee are believed to date back to the 1300s, and although many have claimed they were no more than bandits, the Thuggee also claimed they murdered their victims for a very specific purpose-- to offer blood to the Hindu goddess, Kali. Murders were being done in the name of Kali by the Thuggee. There was a definite cult aspect to these murders. They weren't just about robbery. This was a devotional act. Kali is the Black Goddess, she has sunken eyes fangs, and she has a very long lolling tongue She wears a garland of human skulls. And she also holds a severed heads and she holds a machete in one hand She's the most powerful goddess there is, because she is totally unstoppable, when she's angry The Thuggee cult were wanting to offer blood to Kali because they didn't wanna spill even one drop of blood they would strange their victims so that Kali would be able to have all of the victim's blood. Curiously, although Kali is a Hindu god, the Thuggee also included Muslims and Sikhs. The Thuggees came from a very diverse background. So, we see these people, following Kali, who may transcend religion, and they believe that Kali is a goddess that comes from the stars. This may represent an extraterrestrial. Could the Thuggee really have been influenced by an otherworldly visitor-- one who had been mistaken for a god for centuries? And, if so why would an alien being have a thirst for human blood? When you look at the history of ancient cults and their worship of these human-like extraterrestrial gods you find atrocities, human sacrifice in the name of those gods They believed that those gods wanted them to commit these acts to commit the sacrifices. Mount Llullaillaco. Argentina, 1999. At the top of this 2,200 ft. high volcano, archeologist Johan Reinhard discovers the frozen remains of three human mummies-- one boy and two girls-- all under the age of 16. Dating back approximately 500 years, they were also surrounded by a number of gold statues, silver, ornate textiles and pottery. The children had been drugged and left to die on top of the mountain as sacrifices to the Inca gods. The Incas would make human sacrifice after a major earth event, like a volcano or maybe an earthquake, and the sacrifice would always be a child between the age of six and 14 years old-- an unblemished child, a perfect child. Slaughtering their own people, it was the ultimate sacrifice to kill someone in order to possibly get the gods to return and that truce how intense those encounters were thousands of years ago. For the Aztecs, human sacrifice was so important that they believed it to be necessary for the survival of the entire universe. The Aztecs sacrificed because they thought the gods needed blood to maintain the universe. And without human blood, the universe would die. At the consecration of one temple, they allegedly sacrificed 20,000 people, in which the persons were taken up to the top of these pyramid-like structures. They were cut open, the heart ripped out, held up, and then the bodies rolled down the steps. But we have accounts that there were actually volunteers for this. When we think of these gods that the ancients talked about, or the modern cults talk about, are we to assume that these aliens are wanting us to conduct blood sacrifice? Or could that just be our interpretation of what they want? Do alien visitors really desire the blood of humans in order to exert power and gain control over the earth? There are those who believe the answer is yes, and that there may be a greater, even more insidious agenda. And the clues can be found by examining cults that don't just call for the death of others, but require the faithful to sacrifice themselves. North Africa, the 4th Century A.D. Throughout the region, small bands of religious fanatics wielding clubs have been attacking random travelers on the road, while shouting praise to God. Their hope is to be met with retaliation and ultimately be killed. These precursors to modern suicide cults are called Circumcellions, and their followers purposely seek death so that they may ascend and join Jesus in the heavens. The Circumcellions, interestingly didn't kill themselves they tried to provoke other people into killing them so they were obnoxious. They would wield the travelers on the road and bludgeon them with a stick hoping to solicit a violent response because they believed if they died, they would achieve *** And they tried so hard to be killed, that when it didn't work they'd bend together and throw themselves off cliff so they'd commit mass suicide anyway. Christian suicide sects like the Circumcellions became so widespread, that they drove the church to declare suicide a sin in 364 A.D. But what was it that inspired so many early Christians to murder themselves. In the 2nd Century A.D., more than 200 years before the Circumcellions another group was born called the Gnostics, who are still around today. Gnostic believes that the world we live in wasn't made by God. It was made by lesser beings. The "Archons" are celestial beings, God made them, but they got out of God's control and they made Earth. This whole world isn't what it seems to be. And if you have this knowledge, then you can get into a higher world. The Archons were entities, they came to earth to divert the human species to their own ends Imagine a group of extraterrestrials that fed on human misery they are here to this very day, with every war, every famine every plague, every human mishap, those were the Archons. Could it be that some subconscious connection to an extraterrestrial past made groups like the Gnostics and the Circumcellions believe in the existence of a world better than their own. In Geneva, Switzerland, in 1984, two men Joseph Di Mambro and Luc Jouret formed a secret society called the Order of the Solar Temple. They preached that nirvana could be found on a planet circling the star Sirius Luc Jouret was a kind of a holistic healer that incorporated bits and pieces of different religions (Piano playing "The Merry Old Land Of Oz") I don't know which one of us was enjoying it more. Yes, I do. It was me. I realized I never do anything just for the joy of it, just for fun. Being in a play was like being part of a family-- Well, the kind that puts their dirty dishes in the sink, not on the back of the toilet. Yep. I was having the time of my life. Frankie, have you got a second? Sure. Just highlighting my solo. (Chuckles) I'm sorry to have to tell you this. I'm gonna have to let Sue go. What? What do you mean, let her go? Look at her. Positively, absolutely... (Boys and girls) Undeniably... What? What's the problem? Frankie, she's got crazy eyes. Crazy eyes? It's like she's having a panic attack in her eyes. This is a day of inde... pendence for all the Munchkins and their des... cendants. I don't know what you're talking about. She looks fine to me. (Chuckles) I'm sorry. The theater-- She is a cruel mistress. You understand, right? No. No, I don't understand. My daughter is a person with hopes and feelings, and... (Lowered voice) I was told everybody gets in. It's true. All the kids get in. However, all the kids don't necessarily stay in. Well, you could have put that in the flyer. (Sighs) Please. You don't get it. She never makes anything. You can't tell her this. She'll be crushed. Oh, wow. You're right. That's why you should be the one to tell her. (Munchkins) ♪ ding-dong! The merry-oh ♪ ♪ sing it high, sing it low ♪ ♪ let them know the wicked witch is dead ♪ Well, Uncle Rusty stood me up. What? Yep. A little embarrassing. I was the only one there without a special friend. At least Charlie's grandpa talked to me for a while. Did you know president Obama's not a U.S. citizen? (Crow cawing in distance) Damn it, Frankie. I knew asking my brother was a bad idea. (Beeping) This is your parents' fault for going on that stupid cyber cruise. They're old. Why do they gotta learn new stuff? (Sighs) (Clink) Ohh. Thanks, dad. You got in my line of vision. I was at level five, and now I gotta start back at the beginning. (Door squeaks) (Door closes) Oh, hey, Sue. Do you got a minute? I was just gonna go run my line. Oh, I think that can wait. Listen, honey, I have some terrible news. Grandma died? No. No, but keep that in perspective as to what terrible news really is. Listen, gene talked to me last night, and he said he was really sorry, but unfortunately... (Sighs) You're off the play. What? ! Why? I guess there were some complaints that your eyes were more interesting to watch than the lead performance. Ohh. I'm really sorry, honey. Oh, it stinks. (Sighs) Oh, my God. I can't believe we're not in the play. Uh, yeah, well... That's not exactly true. So we are doing the play? No, we're not. So we're off the play. No, no. That's not it. So we're on the play. - We're not. - We're not? Right. We're not. What? Your mom's in. You're out. Just say it. Thank you, Mike. I was getting there! What? But you're gonna quit, right? Well, quitting is certainly something that I could do, although I am the strongest voice of all the Ozians... (Sighs) And it is for charity, but if you really want me to quit, then I-- I want you to quit. Okay, well, let's not jump into any rash decisions. Just sleep on it, and if you still want me to quit in the morning, I will. I want you to quit. You know, it's still too soon to really know how you feel. Let's give it another day. I want you to quit. Let's be super, super sure. (Man over PA) Frankie, you have a call on line one. Sue wants you to quit. It was settled then. I was just gonna have to quit. Why do I have to quit? Just 'cause Sue has stupid crazy eyes? Maybe I don't wanna quit. So don't quit. Yeah, sure. Right. I won't quit, and then I'll be the worst mother in the world. Ohh! You know, it's not fair. I'm really loving it, Mike. The people there are so nice to me, and I get to wear these pretty costumes, and they bring me tea. Nothing has made me this happy in years. No offense taken. (Sighs) And they like my voice. The last time I sang in the car, the kids threw cheetos at me. Wow. Must have really hated it to give up cheetos. Ohh. Why do I always have to make the sacrifice just 'cause I'm the mom? Frankie, you work hard. If you've found something that makes you happy, you should stick with it. I know, right? And she's not a kid anymore. If Sue's upset, well, that's life. She'll bounce back. It's not like she hasn't had any practice. That's true. And even if you do quit, it's not gonna help her any. She's still off the play. Oh, that's good. I gotta write that one down. (Opens drawer) You know, if you really think about it, if I'm in the play... (Pen clicks) Then Sue's in the play. Yeah, don't go with that one. ...and then I heard the door, and then I came here. Brick's grandparents and special people day-- Any of that ring a bell? Oh, well, I-I don't think that was, uh, that was actually a firm commitment. (Scoffs) Nothing's ever a firm commitment with you. This is what you do. You didn't even bother to show up at my wedding. (Chuckles) Well, who has a wedding on a weekend? Everyone on Earth. You know, Brick was really counting on you, and... (Sighs) You know what? Forget it. I'm not gonna even bother explaining it to you, 'cause you're never gonna get it. Hey. Thought you could use a snack. Now is grandma dead? She's fine, but speaking of grandma, well, you know, that reminds me of a funny story. When I was little, your grandma and I decided it would be fun to get matching mother-daughter dresses, so we went shopping all over town looking for the right ones, and finally, we found the perfect dress, but they only had one, and it fit grandma, but it didn't fit me. Ohh. Anyway, grandma got the dress, and I was so happy. She bought the dress? Well, yeah, but she looked so beautiful in it. She wore it in front of you? Of course, but you're missing the point. Grandma was so happy, and I was happy because she was happy. I don't understand why you didn't keep shopping until you found dresses in both your sizes. No, no, no, no, no. I was happy because she-- But isn't that the point of mother-daughter dresses-- To get the same dress? Yeah, but-- Gosh. Who knew grandma was so selfish? I am so glad you're my mom and not her. Okay, I'm done. There's no way I'm telling her. So I stayed in the play and just... (Clinking) Fudged the truth a little bit. (Frankie) Wow. Busy night. I've gotta go to the bank and the cleaners, and I should probably go to the drug store, 'cause I've had this headache for, like, five days. It's not a throbbing, like, "wah-wah" headache, you know. It's more of a dull, constant "eh," so I'll probably be gone 2 hours, 45 minutes. Hey! It's Brick's Uncle. I'm here for, uh, grandparents and special friends day. You've gotta be kidding me. Uh, th-that was last week. Th-they're taking a test. Now is really not the best time. Oh, no, it's not the best time for me at all, but I'm here, so how does this work? What, do they, uh, sing me a song, give me a cupcake or somethin'? Oh. Well, I-I guess we might have a minute. Uh... is there... anything you'd like to share with the students? Yeah. Yeah, I got somethin'. They tell you you gotta learn your a-b-c's, but what they don't tell you is, you gotta learn them backwards while balancing on one foot with a flashlight in your face while some guy you went to high school with calls you a punk on account of he became a cop and you swerved a little and hit a fire hydrant. Ha! (Bell rings) Oh! Look at that. Time for lunch. Let's please form a line, uh, by the door. Go! (Children speaking indistinctly) Hey, come on. I'll take you to lunch. Uh, I don't know. I think I'm supposed to tell the principal if I leave the school. No, we don't need to bother the principal. You know, they don't want some stranger coming in, saying he's gonna take a small child. (Chuckles) Hmm. Bye, guys. Gotta go. Taking aunt Ginny to the movies. Of course, she calls it "The Picture Show." (Laughs) (Chuckles) (Door opens and closes) Isn't it nice how good mom is to the aunts? (Scoffs and chuckles) What? You cannot be that big of an idiot. You really have no idea where mom's going? No. (Clinking) Think! Bob's been picking her up all week. She's been humming stupid songs all around the house. (Grunts) Last night she came home with green glitter in her hair. Oh. Stop it! That's right, Sue. Mom's still in the play. (Gasps) What? ! You know, when you said lunch and bowling, I didn't realize you could do it all in one awesome place. (Chuckles) Yeah. Hey, you're a pretty good bowler, too, you know? What did you end up with? 39. 39. That's pretty good for a 7-year-old. No, I'm 10. Oh. Well, you should be better then. (Brakes squeal) Okay. Time for you to take the wheel. (Shifts gears) What? Well, you gotta learn to drive some time, don't ya? Um, don't I have to be 16? (Chuckles) Who says? The state does. I don't have a license. Oh. Me neither. I like to keep off the grid. (Door opens and closes) (Crow cawing in distance) Yeah. All right. Let's do it. Does this really seem like a good idea? I mean, mom won't even let me make toast. Oh, come on now. Put her in drive. There you go. Now give it a little gas. I'm so nervous. Well, there's nothing to be nervous about. Worst-case scenario, we both die, and that's gonna happen at some point anyway. (Engine rumbling) (Tires screech) Okay. (Chuckles) I'm driving! (Tires screech) (Whispers) Driving. Okay, now keep your eye on the road! Jeez, I learned that lesson the hard way. Hey, this is kind of embarrassing, but, uh, could you give me your name one more time? Is it... (Vehicle approaches) (Brakes squeal) Hey, dad. We had the best day. Uncle Rusty took me out of school, and we ate ribs, and I bowled a 39. I learned that I do not like beer, though. Oh. (Laughs) He did pretty well. Oversteered a little bit, but that's why you gotta-- Not let him drive? What, are you nuts? Oh. Oh, he was fine. Dad let us drive. We turned out okay. You wanna rephrase that? Okay, uh... Dad let we drive. Us turned out okay. Is that what you're looking for, grammar police? Rusty, you can't disappoint a kid, then make up for it by stuffing him with ribs and taking him out to do something illegal and dangerous. Oh. (Chuckles) Brick's happy. Sure, until the next thing comes along that you miss. Look, you're in and out of our lives, and I get tired of making excuses about where you are or why you're not around. The kids ask about you. I say, "oh, you know Uncle Rusty," but they don't. Brick. (Clears throat) Listen, uh... You know, just 'cause I don't, uh, show up for things, well, that-- that doesn't mean that I don't care for ya. Hey, I got ribs, bowling, a driving lesson, and extra credit. I'm all good. (Chuckles) Yeah. Same goes for you. (Door creaks) (Switch clicks) Hello, mother. (Gasps) Is there something you'd like to tell me? I'm sorry! (Panting) I love you. I love you so much. You're so good, and I'm so bad. I'm so, so bad, and I'm weak! That's what I am. I'm weak, and I'm sorry, and- - Not now! (Clinking) (Sighs) But you're right. I have no excuse. None. Except that I love doing the play. I was so excited to have something that was just for me, that was my thing, 'cause there I'm a singer, and today a Munchkin barfed, and no one expected me to clean it up, 'cause there I'm not a mom. I'm Ozian number four, and that just made me feel... (Sighs) Special. (Sighs) Wow. I didn't realize how much the play meant to you. But you know what? I don't want to do the play without you, so tomorrow we're marching down there and demanding that they find a place for you, too. The play's gonna be our thing. ♪ Pat, pat here, pat, pat there ♪ ♪ and a couple of brand-new straws ♪ ♪ that's how we keep you young and fair ♪ ♪ in the merry old land of Oz ♪ And sure enough, they found a place for Sue-- Underneath the stage. C7 to B6. Got it. (Electricity crackles) B6, go. (Switch clicks) ♪ Can you even dye my eyes ♪ ♪ to match my gown? ♪ ♪ uh-huh ♪ ♪ jolly old town ♪ ♪ C1 to C5. Where's C5? ! (Strained voice) C5- - It won't reach. There must be a knot. (Grunts) (Pants) (High-pitched grunt) (Crackles) (Pants) (Switch clicks) ♪ Clip, clip here, clip, clip there ♪ ♪ we give the roughest claws ♪ ♪ that certain air of savoir faire ♪ ♪ in the merry old land of Oz ♪ ♪ ha, ha, ha, ho, ho, ho ♪ ♪ ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ♪ ♪ that's how we laugh the day away ♪ ♪ in the merry old land of Oz ♪ (Cheering) ♪ (Cheering continues) The thing is, in life, if you just did your own thing, well, you wouldn't be part of a family, 'cause it's just more fun when you go through it together. Come on. Go, Axl! You can do it! Whoo! (Clinks and whooshes) (Cheering and laughing) What are we gonna do now? I'll think of something. - What's funny? - Russ didn't tell you? He told me about the job, but he didn't tell me anything funny. - He didn't tell you about Pete? - No, who's Pete? Well, it seems there's this physician type character named Pete was all depressed one day. He felt terrible cause he did some stuff he just couldn't get over. - What did he do? - He slept with five of his patients. But Pete wasn't the worst guy in the universe, because no matter how hard he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of unprofessionalism was overwhelming. But every once in a while he hear a voice inside that said: "Pete, don't worry about it." You weren't the first licensed practitioner that sleeps with one of your patients and you won't be the last. Besides, you're single. Let it go. But then, just when he almost over the guilt with it all, another voice would bring him back down to reality. And say: "Oh Pete, But dude... You're a Veterinarian." Vi! Let's go! Wha.. What are you doing? - I don't get it. - Don't get what? What's so funny about a vegetarian man? I don't get it. - You mean the Veterinarian man? - Yeah, that guy. I don't get it. He sleeps with his patients. His patients are probably cats and dogs and llamas and stuff Why is that funny? Back home we've puppy dogs and kitty cats. I used to nap with all the time. I think it's sweet. Actually, don't worry about it partner, there are plenty of other jokes in the universe we can share. Let's just get ready for tonight. Some well deserved vacation. - I got a good one for you, Violet. - Lay it on me! Oh, damn! - What? - I think I forgot it. Well that's the good thing, Daze. I'll be here if it comes back to you Ten, Nine, Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One! What happened over there? Well... I was just thinkin' that, since how you're 18 and all and you can be charged as an adult now, for all felonies. Kid's meals, ferris wheels... God knows what else. I know. But hey, this should turn up for one around. I've invited Boss to our party. It was swell of you to invite him. Hello? Oh, hey Russ. Is that Russ calling to wishes a happy vacation because if it's not, he's got a wrong number. - Oh... - Jerk... I don't know. I've to check with Violet. - Vi? - No fucking way. - Violet says no. - Violet says "Fuck no". I thought you said we'd had some down time ahead. No, Violet told me you'd pull something like this! Oop yea, no kidding she said you'd do that too. Up the money and call it an easy gig. That's text book, Russ! What you think we are, stupid? Yea! Same to you! - Can you believe him? - Look it here, Daze. Barbie Sunday has a new fashion line. "Be your best in my new signature dress. Let them know you mean business at the Disco or in the boardroom, with the amazing versatility of the premiere piece, in my high end line, a super stylish couture. Who's better than you girl?" Oh man! - How much is it? - Around 300 bucks. - How do you know? - I know because Stacy Culpepper's got one. And everybody was talking about it. Let's get ours. - We can't. - Why not? Because we blew the money on rent again. Still, we might still have enough for just one dress and then maybe... What? Again, Vi? Call Russ back before he gives the job away. - We got it. - What... He said it was an easy gig, right? - Yea. - Up the money too, didn't he? Yea. Then what are we waiting for? That's shit! Hey Russ, it's me Daisy. I know what we said. but, we've changed our mind and we thought... we considered your offer. And we think, that actually it'd work out quite well because um... See, the day that you talked about... Deeper baby, deeper... Ow, gross! You weren't suppose to like it! Like I've end up better do with it, Princess. Are you guys hear about this guy? Ok so basically, there was this guy who stole some shit from Chet. - What did this guy take from him? - A truck full of cologne. Now this truck contains somethin' in addition to just cologne. - Somethin' like what? - A bag full of money. The weird part, is the guy called us up... and had the stones to taunt us after he did what he did. - Stones... - Or some kind of a death wish. Cos he all gave us his address. His name and number, was clear as day the whole time he was fuckin' with us. Culpepper lives about three blocks from this dude. She's checked him out. Says he leaves in the morning, comes back in the afternoon. When he comes home, you'll be waiting for him. And that's that. The landlord's on our team, so the door will be open. - Better be. - Relax, the door will be open. And you don't have to worry about the noise either. - Why not? - The building's almost empty. Switching over the condos or some kinda gentrificational kind of shit. You sure this guy was working alone, Russ? Pretty sure! Landlord said the guy's a loner. This happens tomorrow. - Can you handle it? - 'Course we can handle it. You got the specs? Now we good? Yeah, we good. Come on, Daze. Hey you guys hear about Barbie Sunday's new dress? - Yea we know. - Just checkin'. Daze! Yea? Happy Birthday! Thanks, Russ. If you keep an eye on your partner, you might be around see your next one. Fuck off, Russ! Ask her about Rose. I said fuck off, Russ! Who's Rose? My old partner. - I thought I was your only... - Sorry Daze. Well, what happened to her? - She died. - How? - Got shot. - How? Usual way. Somebody pointed a gun at her and pulled the trigger. - Who? - It's complicated. - Well, it all kinda make sense now. - Why? You talked about her in your sleep sometimes. I do? Yea. - Vi? - Yea, man. I can't wait until we get the dresses. Things are gonna change for us after that. Oh, hell yeah! - Do we need to chain it up? - Nah, this will do. - Cool? - Cool. This is really the last time, I'm gonna say this to you. Okay? or anything else... I don't want you to send me anything anymore, I don't... I threw out those flowers. You can't fix it. And I'm really... done with you. I don't want talk to you again, I don't want to hear from you again. I want you to leave me alone. Please, okay? You don't know how to fix this. You can't fix it. You, have no clue. Just... leave me alone. I don't ever wanna hear from you again. Wake me up, when the latch turns. But what if... This isn't exactly the residence of a renegade, Daze. But... Just keep a look out while I go in dream about the dress. Oh my God! Is that the guy? - What's going on? - I don't know. - Why didn't he take our guns or...? - I don't know. - Should we wake him up or just pop him? - I don't know Daze. Hey, girls. There's stuff in the kitchen if you're hungry. - Do you know why we're here? - Yes, I've been expecting you. I think there's must be some sort of misunderstanding. We're not here to clean your bathtub up. Organize your closet or make you happy. Really? Yeah. We're here to kill you. Then there's no misunderstanding at all. Do you mind if I have a word with my partner? Wait a sec. Search him, Daze. He's clean, Vi. Come on then. - This isn't go much like we pictured it, Vi. - Yeah, I know. I just wish it more like a normal job. Now it's weird. I never really talked to a job before. This might be some kind of test. Everything's a test, when you're a career woman. Damn right. And those dresses aren't gonna buy themselves. - I got it! - What? - I know we could do! - What? Why don't we just go in there? Blasting without thinking about it. That way, we don't have to think about it. We don't even have to look either, because we're never gonna miss it that distance. It's a good plan, Daze. A real good one! - You think so? - Totally. Cool. - Don't aim too high. - Why not? We don't want to that little bird. Oh, yea... good thinkin'. Are you ready? - Ready. - Let's do it. Who wants a snack? Be careful they're hot. Uhm... no thank you. - Don't you like cookies? - Yeah, but... I feel kind of bad now. - Don't be ridiculous. - Are those oatmeal? Thanks, mister. What's wrong? Wait a minute, did you put something in this? Why are you looking at us funny? No, no, no... It just that you girls aren't what I expect it. We didn't picture you either. Keeps life interesting I guess. Do you have any milk? I hate to interrupt or anything, but... don't you think you girls are better be load? Excuse me, but what is your deal? I rather not discuss it. - Why not? - That's my business, that's why not. What's the big... I thought for sure they'd send professionals. They did! Then why is it matter what I don't want to discuss? Wouldn't you be curious if you were us? There's a place around the corner if you need more ammo. - We got ammo. - Then let's get this show on the road. Expecting company. - What kind of company? - Rather not say, except to say we probably don't wanna be here when they arrived. - They? Who's "they"? - Is this an interview or a hit? Whatever man. You got anymore cookies? Maybe, maybe not. How about this, if you shoot me, I'll tell you where they are, - and I'll throw in the recipe. - How are you gonna do that dead? - Start shooting and find out. - Hardy har har. Excuse me, I need to confer with my colleague. - Again? - Yea, again. Don't worry I won't move this time. I'll be right here, when you get back. I know we gotta off this guy, cos that's what we gotta do. But I don't wanna do it until I know why he wants us to do it. I mean, something's wrong here. What is this, Daze? I mean a guy doesn't just up and hijacked a truck chuck full of cash and cologne, to get himself rub out. There are other ways. I want this guy's story, but getting it would just make our job harder, I mean it changes everything. That's why they don't name any other pigs on a sausage farm. And for that reason, I don't think we should talk to him anymore. That's gonna be tough, He's interesting. He sure is. How about those cookies? Oh man! Have you ever had anything like that in your whole life? If we were rich, and didn't have to kill him, we could pay him, just to make those cookies for us all the time. Hell, what if the cookies are just the tip of the iceberg? What if he makes brownies? We'd get so fat, but it'd be so worth it. Anyway, let's just do it as we said before, We just runnin' there blast him. - You bring anymore ammo? - No. I thought you said you have some more. Nah, I just wanted to sound pro and say I did. It's not like we're facing five or six jokers who's shotgunned one of Chet's night club. Besides, I was tryin' to save up for the dresses. Never get to hang of this. There must've a time in your bucket list that I wouldn't sweat it. Where's that place again? What place? The place, where you said we could get the bullet. I thought you had some. Well, I was mistaken. I've got a pretty good steak knife... Just try to help. You go out the front door, you hook a right. Then walk three blocks straight down, its on this side of the street. You can't miss it. - I'll go Daze. - Why can't I? Because you look 12, and I've an ID. We might actually checked in this part of town. Just keep an eye on him while I'm gone, and remember what I said. Okay. You guys need anything? No, we're good. So how long have you two been friends? I'm not supposed to really talk to you anymore, so... Oh, wait! I think you got a phone message. But that's all I'm sayin', now I'm gonna zip. You have one new message. This is really the last time, I'm gonna say this to you. Okay? or anything else... I don't want you to send me anything anymore, I don't... I threw out those flowers. You can't fix it. And I'm really... done with you. I don't want talk to you again, I don't want to hear from you again. I want you to leave me alone... Me and Vi have been friends for a pretty long time. Maybe three years. What? You asked how long we've been friends a minute ago. Oh yes... Alright. - We met in a hospital. - In a hospital? Yea. It was that dull hospital over at Lexington, know it? No. We were doctors. I mean, surgeons. Violet tells me to say surgeons. Working at the hospital never gave me bad dreams, that's for sure. Anyway, she's my best friend ever. I'm kinda worry about her sometimes though. Half the time, I wish I was more like her. And then... What? I don't know. She reminds me of my daughter. Is that her on the phone machine? But it's not important. It is, but... don't let it distract you. - What's with that? - What's with what? The numbers you two have. - This? - Yes. Oh, that's our rank. Officially I'm killer number Nine and Violet's killer number Eight. And how do you move up? Makin' hits. Vi says it beats dead entries. Who's number one? No one ever seen him. But he once killed three ninjas... with a fingernail file. Who's this? There's a place about two blocks up from you, it's look like a hardware store. If it's closed, that's only what the sign says. Hold on, hold on, I gotta take a piss. Oh what else is it... How many times you must take a piss and you gotta take a piss? - Not every time - Good spot here. Every single time I gotta take a piss, you gotta take a piss! You're not supposed to look down when you pee next to another man, ok? - I'm not looking... - You're lookin' down, I saw you look down! - I'm looking at your face. - My man, why are you looking at me all? Dude you get me worried about you sometimes. Don't you know pee etiquette man? Let's hope she hurries. What's the big deal? ! Who's comin' over? It's not important. It's not like I'm asking you to tell me where you stashed that money or anything. I'm expecting company because of something else I did. What else did you do? I robbed somebody. Somebody else that's not our Boss? Yea. Who? - Donnie Daffo. - Oh, my... And you really are serious about getting yourself killed? I figure it's people who visit me today as well. Small world, cos uh... me and Vi hate those guy's guts. Two months ago Violet ran into them, and they locked her in a dumpster. It looks like someone had taken a life out of her. Is that all they did? You mean, locked her in that trashcan? Well, yea, I mean that's all she told me. What else would they...? Russ is such an ass. Thinks he's smart, but he's not. Nothin' to say this time? Maybe you've learned your lesson after all. I'd like a something' for you to tell your boss. In this fuckin' economy that chicken shit must be pretty hard up. to send a little... cunt like you, to do a men's job. Fuck you later! - Hi. - We're closed, what do you want? - I don't know what you're talkin' about. - Yeah you do. The black door in the back. Much obliged. How can I help you? Let's go, let's go, come on. Move fast. Check out those boxes right there. Let's go, move on. "But dude! You're a vegetarian!" - See? - Oh... That's... clap! One, two, three, four, five battle. Alright tardy cake! - No, you're first! - You are... no. You do this and... Hey! Look who's here? We just saw your stupid little girl friend. Had to tell about herself. You should see her face. Just this mornin' we got to whack a couple of clowns. Yea, we took our time doin' it too. Your stupid little girlfriend looks scared than both those faggots put together. Even when things are getting up before them. Step aside jail-bait! Or don't! If you wanna be a tough guy and see what happens to you. Do it, do what they say, Daisy. Can I ask you fellas something? - Nah, forget it. - Come on. Excuse me? Please. - Everybody! - Please. Very good! But I won't get into it until you holster the hardware! - Why would we do that? - So you don't get tired. - What you think we are, stupid? - Off course I think you're stupid. That's the point. You're gonna have enough trouble keepin' up with what I'm gonna tell you as it is. If you tuck it out too, we'll be wastin' everybody's time. You don't want mama's good wisdom goin' to waste, do you? Heck, I'll be surprised if your arms are burnin' already, for keeping us at gun's points for a while. I mean, it's not like we're packed or anything, what do you afraid of? That better? - Alright, where was I? - You're gonna ask us something. Oh that's right, Thanks! Okay. So... here it goes. My partner weighs in at about 95 pounds, right? And together you guys are pushing half a ton, give or take, right? So, did you need much help stuffing' her in that garbage can? Now... I usually don't talk to people like you in the first place, but... if I did that sort of things, I would say that you girls should have your own TV show. And that you should call that program "The Adventure of Donnie's Bitches". But like I said at the top, I usually don't talk to people like you. Because talking' to people like you doesn't make much sense. What do you mean, "People like us"? What the hell kind of people are we? Dead ones. What? Found some bullets, but now I might be out again. How about you partner? I think I'm hearin' somethin'. Something like what? The internal bleeding dance! - I could sure use some help too. - You got it, partner! - Move! I want the fat one! - They're all fat, Biatch! Say mister, you got any other leads on where I can get some more bullets? The other place got into a crime scene, long story. Just do some thinkin' on it, okay? Are you expectin' anybody else? Are you sure? It might be back up for Donnie's crew. Maybe they're supposed to call in, you know, like we do. Why didn't they just come right in like everybody else has? I don't know, who the hell he is, I'm out of bullets again. I'll get it. What? Wait but... what if Donnie's other guys? - I know what they'll do. - I thought you wanted us to kill you. You jealous? - Kinda. - Now take the fire escape. I'll stall. Otherwise they're gonna kill us all today after see what happened in here. Go! - You should come too! - No, no, I shouldn't. This way I buy you some time. Go! Please. Go, go, go! Everything ok in there? I thought I heard something. It's fine... Dolores. - How you've been? - I thought I heard somethin'. You know, I did too. Sound it's like coming from the upstairs again. I was sure it was coming from here. - Did you try next door? - Are you sure everything's okay in there? Yes. I really should go now, Dolores. You take care. - Well ain't... - Dolores! Dolores... Take care. - Couldn't get it right... go! - Go! 115th precinct, Officer Minocha speaking. There's something wrong in the apartment down the hall from me. We're going to take care of him too, you know. I know. - I think we should do it now. - Why? He's sleeping... it will be merciful. Oh I thought, we're out of bullets again. We are, but I can run out and go get some more somewhere real quick. We couldn't even do it now even if we had the bullets. - Why not? - I don't know. He said, he wanted to see it coming. - When? - While you're out. - Did he say anything else? - Like what? Like, why he wants to check out so bad? - A little. - Well? He's....got bad cancer. It's in my pancreas and spreading. Going to die and I'd rather not take the scenic route. I don't think he has anybody who loves him either, it must be even worse. We should think about going to his funeral. You know, just so there's someone there. What? At the end of the day, Donnie'll send surviving' members of his squad to finish the job either way. So if it's not us to finish, it would be somebody else. And besides, this guy's dead already! In fact, it's way better if we're the ones to do it. Because unlike Donnie's punks, we're not gonna torture him for eight or nine hours first. Did you hear somethin'? What happened to you anyway? You look a little mussed up. What's with the it chilled? - This? - Yea. I've been deputized. - I'm serious, Vi. - Fine! I had a little incident while I was out getting the bullets. - Do you wanna talk about it? - Are you interested? Always. So the seconds I get the lead, Three desperados stormed in and hold up the spot. First I'm thinkin', I was gonna lay low, and I'll be free and let this shit be. Then, one of them sees me and gets the bright idea that they should rob me too. So I proceeded to inform the perp and his pals, about multiple ways in which they might violated their mothers. So while they're trying to figure out where I got the balls, the cops showed up. Was it because of the police has a silent alarm? No. Was it because the cops just got lucky? Hell, no! This place is a stone's throw from the 115th precinct. So the minute I remembered that little detail, I'm thinking one or two things, these desperados are either stupid or crazy as whole hell. Whatever the case, the cops apprehended the whole crew, and then one of the fuzzy wuzzy asked me if I'm ok. So I said "Officer, how do you know I wasn't in on it? What makes you think a girl can't be in on it?" Next thing I hear is... Bang, bang, bang! The guy behind the register flipped and starts shooting at the perps. It seems the other company at the counter took the robbery personally. Long story short, just about everybody ended up taking a shot or two, except for yours truly. That's how I got this one chilled on me. It was blasted off of the porker and just went it there. Scout's honor. Anyway, right about then, I thought it may be prudent to exit the premises to the rear. Some days, you just can't get a bullet to save your life. And here of all places. I mean, shit, this is America right? But... how did you get so dirty? I slipped on banana peel in alley way comin' back. Let's go see about those dresses. How are you girls holding up? Fine. Fine. We're out of bullets again tho. Why don't you use one of those guy's guns? They seem to have plenty. Why the hell didn't I think of that? These guys got everything Daze! Even a little Glock for your purse. You know the blue one? It's like Christmas! I got you... Sucker! Take your pick mister. Why don't you decide? Okay, let's see... I'm gonna go with the .38, Daze. Alright, are you ready mister? Sure. Okay. Here goes nothin'. Hardy har har. What? Are you done yet? Come again? I said "Are you done yet?" What are you talking about? You weren't serious you're gonna do it, were you? I most certainly was. With that piece? Yea. - Suit yourself. - Wha... Why shouldn't I? It's unprofessional. How's that? Forensics. - Forensics? - Yea. Forensics. Ballistics. There's a real good chance, those dorks would foul everything up for us if we do it like this. I mean Donnie's guys can even wind up with the credit if they traced the guns and... boss try to weasel out of paying' us. Even worse, we might get blamed for every corpse in here. And boss'd chaff us to the hill on account of unnecessary roughness. Not to mention the gang war we might've already started. And it's not even like we can switch out the bullets, because the calibers won't begin to match the ones of our styles and rods. So, like I said, you can do it your way if you want to, but... We risk looking on professional and getting screwed... out of a couple of hot dresses. Good thinkin', Daze. Forensics will fuck you. You would've thought of it too, Vi. - Yea, maybe. - I need a smoke. You do that? When did you start doin' that? I don't know. Where did you get those? Oh, from those guys. You mind if I'm smoking in your place, mister? Yea. - Yea you mind or yea it's okay? - Yea, I mind. Actually... Do what you like. It doesn't matter anyway. I'll take it out to the stairs. Oh Violet, you might wanna wipe your prints off those pieces. Put them back on the fellas. Sounds good, Daze. Come on sit down! I wanna show you something. You know you'd probably a millionaire if you clean your ears out more often. No uh! Here. Now what were you going to tell me? Yea, the secret. You were going to tell me. Can I ask you somethin'? Why is she so mad at you? - She's your friend, you tell me. - I'm not talking about Violet! - She blames me for something. - For what? - Her mother's death. - Why, did you kill her? No, no. She died after she left me. - Why did she leave you? - She didn't love me. - Why didn't she love you? - I don't know, Daisy. I don't think people have a lot of control over that sort of thing. As a husband, I wasn't much a prize anyway. Whatever the case, she... fell in love with someone else. Who? A man she used to work with. I didn't know him. I only saw him once. From a distance. They died in a car accident. How does your daughter figured that it's your fault? Well, my daughter didn't know about the affair. She blamed me for the breakup. And consequently the... car accident. Well... did you ever tell her the whole story? - No. - Why not? Because I want her to remember her mother the way she does now. That's stupid! You're stupid! - Thank you. - Does your daughter like Barbie Sunday? - What? - Does your daughter like Barbie Sunday? Very much. Well, at least she did somethin' right. Now, I'm gonna get some bullets and we've done with all these. Tell Violet. You like my partner, don't you? What's not to like? She's....a sweet girl. Do you like her better than me? I don't know you as well. That's okay. I like her better than me too. She might even... thinks she'll keep you alive for some silly reasons. Kids... - May I ask you a question, Violet? - You may ask. You ever miss the doll house? Not particularly. And I think I know what you're driving at, mister. But this job never got to me, aside from the sensational rush to the action. - What about those men? - What men? The ones you killed. That, was fucking magical. Did you see that? It's a bit early to know, but career wise... that little miracle might be my Monalisa. If not my Billie Jean. - Actually... - Do you have any family? What? Do you have any family? - What a random question. - Well, do you? Daisy is like family. You didn't answer the question. I got a father somewhere. What's with the interview? When's the last time you and he spoke? - What do you care? - That long huh? - Are you afraid of what's next? - Me getting shot? I mean after that. I haven't thought about it. And? I haven't come up with anything conclusive. I'm not an expert or anything, but I have a theory. Yea? I figure... I figure heaven... is probably a place where, nobody cares how big or small you are, or what you look like. People probably don't even have bodies. They're just maybe like... essences or something. But if they do have bodies, everyone's gotta be naked for sure, cause that's we all showed up here in the first place, right? And also, if you have a back problem... or bad knees or self-esteem issues. That stuffs won't bother you anymore up there. And everything's free too. Or at least whole sale. I don't know if there's animal, but that'd be cool. Oh yea, and when you walkin' in to the gate for the very first time. They're probably playing' that Louis Armstrong's song. Somethin' nice like that. Part of this came from this girl I knew. She died. It's a long story. Anyway, she thought everybody would be naked, that part was her idea. - How did she die? - I don't wanna talk about it! I mean, I do but... when I tried, never works. Maybe someday. Wow! Sit up. Who wants some snack? You know what? Wow! What? I don't think there are enough holes here, from that first time me and Daisy came out blastin'. Is that important? Could be. In any case I've a feeling that my partner is not exactly holding' up her end. I've never... actually... really ever killed anybody. I've been using blanks. I just make sure me and Violet don't share ammunitions. Like I said, she's so fierce and thorough on the job. I could pack a squirt gun, it just wouldn't matter. How do you mean, holding up her end? I mean, that I might be the only one takin' up the trash. - Means it looks like she's been packin' blanks. - So what? - So what? - Yea, so what? Even if she isn't taking people out, isn't it better that she's with you? You think your partner's having two targets instead of one? but it saved you behind a time or two? Do you understand, she's risking her life as well? Do you think your friendship might've helped keep you sane? - as you wandered through this life of yours? - There's still the principle. We have rules and what she might've been doin', is a big no-no, no matter how you slice it. Cos one day you're packin' blanks and the next you're wearin' the wire. So what you're going to do about it? I might've to take her out, if my suspicion is true. I thought Daisy was your friend. I'm not sayin' I'm gonna like it. I thought you said she was like family? She is. But she's a business woman too, so she'll understand. I always figure to check out first anyway. - Why? - Because that how usually goes for the good ones. You got a hair dryer? Unit 42, come in. Unit 42, respond to dispatch. You just missed her. - Daze? - She just left. Who? Rose. - Was she alive? - I don't know. But she asked about you. What did she say? She said: "I'm looking for your partner." Those were her exact words. - Is that all she said? - No. She said that roses were dead, and violets were too. She's fled after that and that's the end of it. How long have you been here? She's taller than I thought. How long have you been here, Daze? I can't really tell. Time is bend up now, so I don't know. I keep missing my flights. What's that? Oh, that? That's his. The guy's. Rose is back. Hello, Number 9. Oh my! Are you...? Wow! - I always figure you're... - You always figure out as what? Imaginary. Or a boy. Do you know what I've been doing today? I've been watching you and your partner. Did you hear somethin'? That partner of yours is clean out of her mind And she's gonna put us all in a real bad spot. We can't let that happen. I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen. Do you even know what grief her little sloth is gonna cost us? Well, I'll tell you. Two of the idiots that she ventilated, were engaged. Do you know who'll they're gonna marry? The Police Chief's stepdaughters. And you can bet the house once they sort out all these rubbish. Boss is gonna be held accountable, next to that, a garden of variety gang war would be a sunday stroll. - There was a dead guy at the bottom of the steps. - He saw me! Can I ask you a question, Ma'am? Do you always work by yourself? Yes. Is it lonely? What's that to you? Just wondering. Well then, let's get back to business, cos I'm late for my ballet class. Finish the job or face the consequences. Am I clear? Well... I got news for you, Number One. Given the situation, I see why you're T.O and all. But, what's done is done. And my partner comes first. - What's that supposed to mean? - It means... that if you try to take her out or get into the middle of our job, you're in front world of hurt! I know what you're capable of, but we're pros too. We also know that you're comin' now. Do you know what I wanted to be when I was your age? I don't either. I like you kid. You're in over your head and you're scared, yet you look death in the eye without blinking. It's admirable, but it won't save you. It won't save your partner and it won't save your new pal. Finish the job or face the consequences. You've got an hour. Sorry about that stuff I said before. What's them? When I called you stupid and stuff. That's okay. Did you find anymore bullets all around? Hey. Wanna hear somethin'? Your daughter doesn't hate you. How do you know? I know. Well, could you? You never even met her. Doesn't matter. I still know she doesn't hate you. How? I'm a daughter too. Vi? She left. Where did she go? To get more bullets. Listen carefully, Daisy. When she comes back, I need for you to be the one to put me down. It's very important. Why me? Cause you and me are friends, right? - I guess, but... - Will you promise me that? - I can't. - I need you to promise me. - But I can't. - I need you to do this for me. - I can't. - I need you to do this for me! - No, I can't! - Don't argue with me, April! - But I'm Daisy. - Just don't argue with me girl! You promise me. Say it. - I promise. - You promise? I said I would, didn't I? I have something to show you. I tried to give it to my daughter, but she... threw it back at me. I think you're about her size. Could you try it on? I'll wait in the other room. Got the bullets. You'll be surprised how many places I... What's goin' on? How do I look? Ok. Where did you get it? He gave it to me. What for? I don't know, Vi. Can I talk to you a minute? Have you lost your mind? - What's your problem? - You're my problem! I'll let you borrow it some time if that's what this is about. It's not about the fucking dress! - Yea, right. - That's exactly right! You don't run me, Violet! We don't know anybody. or get involved in stuff or anything like that. I never went to a prom. You did, but I didn't. - Be glad you didn't! - Why? - Because they would laugh at you! - How do you know? Because that's what they do if you're different. Everybody isn't like that, Vi. And so what if they laugh? - So what? - Don't tell me what I know... you haven't been through things like me. And I hope I'll never do, if that makes me so scared. - I'm not scared! - Yes you are, Violet. You don't trust anyone, or anything.. You never did. I trusted you! What? I said I trusted you! When did you stop? The second I saw that goddamn dress on your back! That's just perfect then. Why? Because now you don't have anything at all. - So what are you trying to say? - I just said it. Say it again, if you have the guts. - You heard me! - I'm gonna kick your ass! Cut it off bitch! You're gonna mess up my new dress. My landlady was coming up the street. I was just... just messin' with her. Never shot a gun before. - How was it? - What do you aim on for some new shoes now? - Shut up about it! - You shut up about it! - Make me! - I just did! - Oh, is that what you call it? - Violet! What? I almost forgot, I got something for you too. Really? - Why are you giving this to me? - You have a unique world of view. Now you can share with others... in a new way. Thanks a lot, mister. I need the police. Yes, that's my address. What are you doin'? He's writing a letter. To who? To "whom". To whom? His daughter. I'll do it. What? I'll write it for you. Alright. Thank you. So where was I? "Dear April..." That's it? So far, yeah. "Dear April, I don't know if you'll ever read this, but I hope you do. In any case... It's time we finally talk. Please, take care of yourself. I managed to put some money in your bank account. Please use it to continue your education. Your mother would've wanted that too. Don't worry about the dead men in the bathtub. It's not what it looks like. And a long story to tell right now. Sometimes, for no particular reason, I think of you and smile. Seriously about that day, that... we drove out to the mall, for your birthday. Your mom had the flu, and she said to go on without her. I remember you wandered off. Got lost. And two hours later, we finally found each other. We hugged... You didn't wanna let go. Then we went for ice cream, and we talked... all the way home. I think that was the happiest day I've had. I know I probably wasn't the best father in the world, but I tried the best I could. Anyway... I loved you all that I possibly can. Love, Dad." "PS: This isn't in my handwriting, because friend of mine wrote it out for me." If you just leave that in the... apartment when you go, make sure to get to her. Glad you girls came by. I wouldn't have written that otherwise. Daze... We gotta go now, Daze. We never even said his name, Vi. Come on. The bike is gone. I know. - Well, we got 'em. - Yeap. - Yours look awesome on you. - Yea, so did yours. Hey, I know we never really talked about stuff... since that day. Are we cool? Yea. Course. Precious. Hey, you hungry or anything? Not really. I'm just gonna take a walk. Yea, screw food. I could use a nap if you wanna know the truth. You want me take your bag home? No? This better not be Russ. It's my Dad. Really? I've tried to get the pizza place, but I... I pressed his number instead. Long story. Hang on a sec, Phil. See you Daze! Hey Dad. April? Are you... uhm, April? Hi. Hi. I was a friend of your father's. I just want to let you know that... I was a friend of his and... that he talked about you a lot. He wanted me to give something to you too. What is it? It's the new Barbie Sunday dress. - For real? - Yea. I think it should fit. There's something else in there too. Thanks. You're welcome. Your father was a good guy, April. He told me how you two got lost in the mall one day and then had ice cream. Well... See ya. Barbie Sunday show cancelled What are we going to do now ? I'll think of something. Cold Pizza And A Warm Puppy What's funny? Russ didn't tell you ? Tell me about the job, but he didn't tell me anything funny. He didn't tell you about Pete ? No . Who is Pete ? Well, it seems there's this physician type character named Pete was all depressed one day. He felt terrible because he did some stuff he just couldn't get over. What did he do ? He slept with five of his patients. But Pete wasn't the worst guy in the universe because no matter how hard he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and the sense of unprofessionalism was overwhelming. But every once in a while, he heard a voice inside that said: " Pete, don't worry about it. " You weren't the first licensed practioner that sleeps with one of your patients and you won't be the last. Besides, you're single. Let it go. But then , just when he was almost over with the guilt and all, another voice would bring him back down to reality and said, " Oh Pete , but dude, you're a veterinarian! " Vi ! Let's go ! What are you doing ? I don't get it. Don't get what ? What's so funny about the vegetarians ? I don't get it . You mean the veterinarian man ? Yea, that guy. I don't get it . He sleeps with his patients . His patients are probably cats and dogs and llamas and stuff. Why is that funny? Back home we had puppy dogs and kitty cats I used to nap with all the time. I think it's sweet. Actually, don't worry about it , partner. There're plenty of other jokes in the universe that we can share . Let's just get ready for tonight. Some well deserved vacation. I got a good one for you, Violet . Lay it on me! Oh damn! What? I think I forgot it . But that's the good thing, Daze; I'll be here when it comes back to you . Ten, nine , eight, seven , six , five , four three , two One! What happened over there? Well... I was just thinking that, since how you're 18 and all, you can be charged as an adult now, for all felonies. Kid's meal, ferris wheels... God knows what else. I know. But hey, this should turn that around. I've invited the Boss to our party. "Dear Daisy, I'm sorry I couldn't be at your birthday party but I hope you have a wonderful day. Chet . " it was swell of you to invite him. Hello? Oh, hey Russ. Is that Russ calling us to wish us a happy vacation? Because if it's not, he has got the wrong number. Oh ... Ur... I don't know. I'll have to check with Violet . Vi ? No fucking way! Violet says no. Violet says " Fuck NO !" I thought you said we had some down time ahead. No, Violet told me you would pull something like this. Oh, yea , no kidding. She said you'll do that too. Up the money and call it an easy gig! That's textbook, Russ! What you think we're, stupid? Yes ! Same me to you! Oh, can you believe him? Look at here , Daze. Barbie Sunday has a new fashion line. Be your best in my new signature dress. Let them know you mean business at the disco or in the boardroom , with the amazing versatility of the premier piece in my high-end line of super stylish couture . Who is better than you, girl ? Oh man ! How much is it ? About 300 bucks. How do you know ? I know, because Stacy Cold Pepper has got one and everybody was talking about it. Let's get us ours'. We can't. Why not? Because we blew the money on rent again. Still, we might still have enough for just one dress and then maybe ... What? Again , Vi ? Call Russ back before he gives the job away. We got it. But... He said it was an easy gig. right? Yea. Up the money too, didn't he? Yea. Then what are we waiting for? That's shit! Hey Russ, it's me , Daisy. I know what we said, but we have changed our mind and we... we reconsidered your offer. And we think that actually it would go down quite well, because, er... see...that day that you talked about... ( indistinct muttering ) Um...deeper, baby , deeper ... Ow, gross! You weren't suppose to like it! oh... like I never do it, princess. Have you gals heard about this guy? O.k , so basically there was this guy that stole some shit from Chet. What did this guy take from him? A truck full of cologne. Now, this truck contains something in addition to just cologne Something like what? A bag full of money. The weird part is that the guy called us up and then have the stones to taunt us after he did what he did. Stones... Or some kind of death wish . Coz he obviously gave us his address . His name and number were clear as day, the whole time he was fucking with us . Cold Pepper lives about three blocks from this dude. She has checked him out. Says he's leaving in the morning comes back in the afternoon. When he comes home, you'll be waiting for him. And that's that. The landlord is on our team, so the door will be open. Better be! Relax! The door will be open . And you don't have to worry about the noise either. Why not? The building's almost empty. Switching over to condos or some kind of gentrification or some kind of shit. make sure that this guy is working alone , Ross. Pretty sure. landlord says the guy is a loner . This happen tomorrow. Can you handle it? Of course we can handle it. You got the specs' ? Now we good ? Yea , we're good. Come on, Daze. Do you gals know about Barbie Sunday's new dress ? Yea, we know. Just checking. Daze ! Yea ? Happy Birthday! Thanks , Russ. If you keep an eye on your partner, you might be around to see her next one. Fuck off, Russ! Ask her about Rose. I said : Fuck off, Russ! Who's Rose? My old partner. I thought I was your only ... Sorry, Daze . Well, what happened to her? She died. How? Got shot. How? The usual way. Somebody pointed a gun at her and pulled the trigger . Who? It's complicated. Well, it all kind of makes sense now. Why ? You talked about her in you sleep some times. I do ? Yea. Dreaming Flowers Vi ? Yeah, man I can't wait until we get the dresses. Things are going to change for us after that. Oh hell yeah ! Do we need to chain it up? Nah. This'll do . If you touch you DIE Cool? Cool. This really is the last time I'm going to say this to you... Okay ? Or anything else. I don't want you to send me anything anymore. I don't... I threw out the flowers. You can't fix it! And I'm really done with you. I don't want to talk to you again, I don't want to hear from you again. I want you to leave me alone. Please . Okay ? You don't know how to fix this. You can't fix it! You...have no clue... Just leave me alone. I don't ever want to hear from you again. Wake me up when the latch turns. But what if ... This isn't exactly the residence of a renegade, Daze . But... Just keep a lookout while I go dream about a dress. Him Oh my God, is that the guy? What's going on ? I don't know ! Why didn't he take our guns ? I don't know ! Should we wake him or just pop him ? I don't know, Daze . Hey, girls. There's stuff in the kitchen if you're hungry. Do you know why we're here ? Yes, I've been expecting you. I think there must be some sort of misunderstanding. We're not here to clean your bathtub, or organise your closets or make you happy. Really? Yea. We are here to kill you. Then there's no misunderstanding at all. Do you mind if I've a word with my partner ? Wait a second. Search him, Daze. He's clean, Vi. Come on then. This isn't going much like the picture by... Yea, I know. 204, 00:18:15,886 -- 00:18:18,094 I wish it would be more like a normal job. Now it's weird! 206, 00:18:20,016 -- 00:18:21,882 I never really talked to a job before. Listen...this might be some kind of a test. Everything is a test when you're a career woman. Damn right . And thoses dresses aren't going to buy themselves. I got it! What? I know what we can do! What? Why don't we just go in there, blast him without thinking about it ? That way, we don't have to think about it. 214, 00:18:40,911 -- 00:18:43,654 We don't even have to look either because we never going to miss at that distance. That's a good plan, Daze. A real good one! You think so? Totally! Cool. But don't aim too high. Why not? We don't want to hit that little bird. Oh, yea, good thinking. Okay, ready? Ready! Let's do it! Who wants a snack? Be careful, they're hot. Um ... No, thank you. Don't you like cookies? Yea, but ... I feel kinda bad now. Don't be ridiculous. Are those oatmeal ? Thanks, mister. What's wrong ? Wait a minute, did you put something in these ? Why are you looking at us funnny ? No, no...no It's just that you girls are not what I expected. We didn't picture you either. Keeps life interesting I guess. Do you've any milk ? I hate to interrupt or anything but... don't you think you girls should better reload ? Excuse me, but what is your deal ? I rather not discuss it. Why not? That's my business, that's why why not. What's the big... I thought for sure they'll send professionals. They did ! Then why is that matter I don't want to discuss ? Wouldn't you be curious if you were us? There's a place around the corner if you need more ammo. We got ammo! Then let's get this show on the road! I'm expecting company. What kind of company ? I'd rather not say. except to say that we probably don't want to be here when they arrived. They ? Who's they ? Is this an interview or a hit ? Whatever , man. Do you got any more cookies ? Maybe. Maybe not. How about this. If you shoot me, I'll tell you where they are, and I'll throw in the recipe. How're you going to do that dead ? Start shooting and find out ! Hadi...haha. Excuse me, I need to confer with my colleague . Again? Yea. Again. Don't worry, I won't move this time. I'll be right here when you get back. I know we have to off this guy coz that's what we got to do, but I don't want to do it until I know why he wants us to do it. I mean, something's wrong here. What's this, Daze ? I mean a guy doesn't just get up and highjack a truck chucked full of cash and cologne to get himself rub out. There're other ways. I want this guy's story but getting it will just make our job harder. I mean it changes everything. that's why they don't name any other pigs on a sausage farm. And for that reason I think we shouldn't talk to him anymore. That's going to be tough. He's interesting. He sure is. How about those cookies? Oh man ! Have you ever had anything like that in your whole life ? If we were rich and didn't have to kill him, we could pay him just to make those cookies for us, all the time. Hell, what if the cookies are just the tip of the iceberg ? What if he makes brownies ? We get so fat, but it'll be so worth it! Anyway, Let's just do it as we said before... I would just run in there, blast him. You bring anymore ammo? No. I thought you said you have some more. Nah... I just wanted to sound pro and said I did. It's not like we're facing five or six jokers who shotgunned one of Chet's nightclub. Beside, I was trying to save up for the dresses. Never got the hang of these. I must be tiring your bucket list, but I wouldn't sweat it! Where is that place again ? What place ? The place...where you said we can get the bullets. I thought you had some. I was mistaken. I've got a pretty good steak knives ... just trying to help . You go out the front door. You hook a right. Then walk three blocks, straight down on this side of the street. You can't miss it. I'll go, Daze. Why can't I ? 'Cause you look 12 and I've ID. They might actually check in this part of the town. Just keep an eye on him while I 'm gone, and remember what I said. 302, 00:23:34,330 -- 00:23:35,286 Okay. You guys need anything ? No, we're good. So how long have you two been friends? 306, 00:24:06,820 -- 00:24:10,689 I'm not suppose really to talk to you any more, so ... Oh wait ! I think you got a phone message. But that's all I'm saying. Now I got to zip. You have one new message. This really is the last time I'm going to say this to you... Okay ? Or anything else. I don't want you to send me anything anymore. 313, 00:24:43,023 -- 00:24:45,515 I don't... I threw out the flowers. 314, 00:24:45,734 -- 00:24:47,942 You can't fix it! And I'm really done with you. I don't want to talk to you again, I don't want to hear from you again. I want you to leave me alone ... Um... me and Vi have been friends for a pretty long time... Maybe three years. What? You asked how long we have been friends a minute ago. Oh yes . Right. We met in the hospital. In a hospital ? Yea. 326, 00:25:36,910 -- 00:25:40,620 It was that dull hospital over at Lexington. Know it? No. Loud. It's loud. - You are ruining my pre-game mix. - What am I gonna say? - Hey, Spencer, give me my TV back. - Hi, Spencer. - Give me my TV back, buddy. - Hey, No "buddy." - How about "jerk" or "idiot"? - Mr. Crabs. - Mr. Crabs is an option. - Your hand is on my leg. - Oh, your hand's on my leg. - No, it really isn't. Classic he said, she said. Okay, Jess, just pull over right here. - Whoa! - Come on. What are you doing? Okay, you know what? Just one more shot. One more time around, Jess, and then we're good. You got this. - Good. - Here we go. - All right, you got this, Jess. - Come on. Come on. Just one more time. Gonna... - This is the time. This is the time. - This is the one. One more shot. One more shot. Just one more. Just one more. - You know, I'm on to you. - What do you mean? Okay, you told me that I'm top dog but secretly, you think you're top dog, all right? Now you're just trying to out-top-dog the top dog. Can you take these doors off child-lock so I can kill myself? - Men working. Things are different now, man, all right? You're not top dog anymore. I am. You know what? You are absolutely correct. You are the top dog. Here. What are you doing? There's no top dog crown. Are you trying to make me look stupid? Look, man, this is about respect. I'm a lot flyer than I used to be. - Yeah, much flyer. I respect you. - No, you don't. Because if you did, you would have told me that the small room is the top dog room. Face to face Just when... Just when you thought Our chance had past What? I own this song. You go and save the best for last Oh! What's happening? What's happening is that this is a great song. I'll be out here if you need me, Jess. Jess-Jess. That's the wizard? He's wearing a scrunchie. Looks like he juggles clubs on the beach. Yeah, like he'd ever have a job. Didn't you just kind of assume he'd have a handlebar mustache? Come on, Jess, just go in there and get that TV. - I miss you, Jess. - Don't hug him back. Ugh. - Ugh. - Oh, that's not healthy. - I told you to water the plants. - Huh? Oh. Oh, you know it's not my thing. I told you to water the plants. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. What is she doing? - Oh! - Oh, what a mess. - I'm coming in! - Jess, take your shoes off! We keep an Asian household. Didn't see that coming. - What are you doing? - She gonna be okay in there? Put that down! No, come on, come on! Jess, wait! Let's just talk about this, okay? Hold on. No, that's mine. You can't take that! Jess, hold up. What are you doing? I got it! It's really heavy, but I got it! Oh, my God, we created a monster. - She looks like Helena Bonham Carter. - Oh, gosh. - Soft hands, Jess. - Jess, come on, let's share it. - You know, work out a system. - Hey. Hey, that's my shirt. - No, this is my T-shirt. - That is my shirt. It has my name on it. - Don't drop it. Jess, don't... - Come on, everybody out now. - Give me my shirt! - I like this shirt. Hey, Jess, no, no, no, stop. - Don't mind us. We're just here for the TV. - Who are these guys? - They're my roommates. - Cece, hi. I'm gonna go in and get the rest of your stuff, Jess. Wait, let's just talk about this, okay? You know, rap it out. We can't rap it out. We're not together. It's not the same. - Doesn't mean we can't talk. - Nothing to talk about. Give me my shirt back. No, you gave this to me. I wanna keep it. - Give her her T-shirt, man. - No, I don't want to. And I gave her this hat. I'm gonna take this back. - This one? You want that? - Yeah. Then I dare you, come take it off my head, pal. I dare you. - You guys look ridiculous. - Look, give her the shirt back. - I bet she worked hard on that jamboree. - Yeah, play on words. - Jamboree. Jam. - Jam. Girl made a lot of jam, Spence. You know how time-consuming that can be? You need ajar funnel, a canner, some fresh fruit strawberries, raspberries, maybe a tayberry, maybe a ripe... - No more fruit. - You live with these people, Jess? Seriously? Stay here until you find a better place to live. I don't like you, stretch. I don't like anything about you. - And I'm not afraid to... - I got this. I've got a place to live, Spence. It's over. I spent six years trying to figure you out. All you are is a guy with really beautiful hair. I'm happy you cheated on me. Thank you, because if you hadn't, I would have married you. And then you would have hurt me all over again. And, yeah, I was scared to start over. I didn't know what to do. And, yeah, I'm living with three guys I met on the Internet. And, yeah, stranger danger is real. But I love these guys. I barely know them, I just met him, but I love them. I would just take it easy with the love stuff. All of them. Give her the shirt back, man. - What happens if I say no? - You know what happens? Schmidt happens. - Aah! What was on your hand? - Thumb ring, bitch! You got some Schmidt on your face. You know what? Fine. Here. Take it. - Keep the bell. - What? I thought we were gonna handle this like adults, Jess. Yeah, well, I thought you were the love of my life, so... Suck it, Mr. Crabs. - You hit that guy. - Whatevs. You know. You know what? Maybe I didn't have respect for you before because if this is what respecting you feels like this is definitely not how I felt. So you recognize. Represent, what? Okay, look, I'm gonna be completely honest. I've been messing with you. It's just that I wanted my old room back. You know, you're right. I've been away a long time and things have changed here. So I guess I kind of gotta get used to that. You can keep the big room. See, now you're just deep dogging me, man. I'm not scared of your mind games. I'm taking the small room, Winston. - Schmidt, that's not what I mean... - No. Listen to what I mean. You can double reverse dog me until the cows come home. I'm not falling for it. What do you take me for, some kind of idiot? Yes. - Can't believe I got all my stuff back. - You did, but most of it's broken. Yeah, it's broken, but, I don't know, it's mine. Yeah, but it's broken. Hey, look at that. I think it's working. - Oh, my God! - We got a TV again. - It's a TV and it's working! - Hey, we got the TV back! All right. You guys are awesome. I'm gonna make you so much jam. - Please, don't. - Oh, we're gonna have ajam sess. Absolutely not. - Okay, what are we watching? - I have some DVDs. Adventures in Babysitting, Prancer, Newsies, Curly Sue. - I'm going out. - Yeah. Wait. Where are you guys going? These are heartwarming films. - Curly Sue. Let's do this. - All right, let me go get it. - Get out. - Why? Unlike your father, I am a man who keeps his word. (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) You wish to bury your fiancé? Go there and find him. I will wait while you dig. (FLIES BUZZING) This is the journey your father has sent you on. No. This is where it ends. Your old life is over now. You have only a new one, with me. Do you desire it? If not, I will leave you here, to lie with him. Make your choice. Tahir... No. Please just wait. Don't. Please... Choose. STONEBRIDGE: Here. Pull back here, aim, pull the trigger. Yeah? You're not afraid I might use this on you? If you can find your daughter without me, go ahead. He's doing what? Get me satellite surveillance on a 50-mile grid around the exchange point. Where's Scott? SINCLAIR: I've had to bring him back to Khartoum. That bloody journalist woman. He took a bullet to the spleen. He's lost a lot of blood. They're prepping him for surgery now. GRANT: And you've let Stonebridge go off on some suicide rescue mission. With the only lead to Latif. Please tell me Crawford gave you the intel beforehand. Negative. - Sinclair. - And I think I'm about to get arrested. Walk away now. You don't know me. Go. (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) JACOUB: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. There are two wells near here. The Janjaweed will be close to one. The nearest is Bir an Natrun, that way. And we're trusting him as our guide, why exactly? It was Tahir's men who destroyed my village. And my family. And your friend Scott, he promised me much money, and a new car if I help you, yes? You gotta love that mercenary spirit. So what's your reason? This isn't only about Latif, is it? Not for you. If we don't get a signal soon, get some back-up, we're driving towards Clare in a hearse. Look, I'm not going to hurt you. I need some drugs, adrenalin, something to keep me going. If you come with me, I can get you your drugs, and examine your wound also. Soldiers here. They are looking for me. Why? I was trying to rescue a woman. She's a doctor. She got kidnapped by the Janjaweed. Her name's Clare Somersby. - The aid worker. - Yeah. She's going to die. Along with a lot of other people, if you don't help me. Please? There's no sign yet of Stonebridge on any of the satellite feeds. Widen the grid reference. What about Matak? According to his office he's away on an official engagement. No, he's stalling. He's just hoping nothing will stick to him. See if she was arrested as well and get me on a flight to Khartoum. I'm going to have to deal with this personally. (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) (DOOR CLOSING) Thank you. I need a phone. I have done all that I can. For you and the other one. I'm sorry. Hey. What do you mean the other one? Hendricks. He came in last night. He'd been in a car accident. (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) I have to go. (SINGING) It's when I'm nervous. I used to sing that song to my children. When they are scared. To help them sleep. And now, whenever I am frightened... Beautiful story, now shut the fuck up. Shit. Hey, hey, no, no. They are Massalit. Villagers. Farmers. Why are they running? - That's why. - Janjaweed. JACOUB: What do we do? Depends how many there are. Let's take one alive and find out. - You take the wheel. - What? Drive right up beside him. You son of a bitch. Jacoub! Get off there and translate for me. He's going to tell us where the camp is. (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) If you become Tahir's woman, it will make you safe. And you also. I promise. You cannot save everyone. That's what Bakri said. But saving even one person, surely, would be something. If we'd used sniper rifles, instead of driving straight at them, we could've picked them off easy. Jacoub, we're good if we stay in this direction, yeah? Yes, that way. There's no point rescuing Clare if we can't all get out again. You do want to go home, don't you? See your wife? That's a wedding ring, right? What about kids? You got any of them? Okay, no kids, your marriage is shit, that's starting to make more sense. Don't fucking shrink me. You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. I know self loathing when I see it. How reckless that can make a man. That's why I'm here. Only I would have rescued Clare, not died trying. Now, we're professional fucking soldiers. We've got a job to do. You're not a fucking soldier. You're a scumbag arms dealer, selling mass murder. So yes, you should fucking hate yourself. That's why Clare hates you too, right? But that's your shit to work out, not mine. I don't give a fuck if she forgives you or not. I'm here for one reason and one reason only. And that's to get that information on Latif. - No. - Which I'm starting to think is just some bullshit story you're selling. I'll keep my part of the deal. Really, Crawford? Redemption costs. And on my watch, you fucking pay up front. Everything you know about Latif. Or I'll put a fucking bullet in your head right now. Latif has a spy at the top of British intelligence. Neutralise him and you'll stop the atrocity Latif has planned. He can't finalise the arrangements without him. - Who is he? I need a name. - When my daughter is safe. Last chance. Oh, you need Clare safe as much as I do. You wouldn't be here otherwise. People die. I'm fine with that. - You fucking prick. - Shoot then. Fuck. (KNOCKING AT DOOR) Hi Maggie. I'm Eleanor Grant. Can I get you a drink? No, but can you can turn off the recording device in your pocket. This conversation is off the record. We never met. Do you understand? Damien said you were a ball breaker. Well, Damien Scott talks too much and to people he shouldn't. He knows he can trust me. I protect my sources. That's why I'm here talking to you. - I want to protect him. - Why were you not arrested also? Nobody knew I was there, just taking photos. Damien looks after me too. Right, I'm going to need copies of all the photos. No way. But I will promise not to use any that compromise your team. I think you misunderstood me. All photos now. You do not publish until this is over. You make no mention of my unit or personnel. Or what? You're going to kill me? CRAWFORD: I can't see her. Christ, there's a lot of them. They'll be heading out soon once they've juiced themselves up for the night. (SHOUTING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) That's him. That's the one we kill, no matter what. (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) Why isn't he leaving with them? She's in that hut. She's in that hut with him. MATAK: I trust you have been treated appropriately, Major Sinclair. Yes. Thank you. (KNOCKING AT DOOR) Colonel Grant. (GREETING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) Sit, please. It is a tragedy how things have turned out. - Then let us work to resolve it. - Indeed, yes. All along I have tried merely to facilitate this poor girl's return, as your Major Sinclair can confirm. Yes. Well, I'm glad you now accept my men were not responsible for the shootout. The shootout? No, no, no, no, no. Although there is still a fatal traffic incident about which we must question Mr Scott. If he can recover from his wounds, of course. I understood he survived the surgery. So far, yes. But complications do occur. - Hmm, may I visit him? - Alas, no. He is still under arrest. As for Mr Stonebridge and Mr Crawford, tomorrow we will send troops into the desert. I only pray we find them before the bandits who have his daughter. It would be deeply regrettable if all my men brought back, were their two corpses. Rest assured, Minister, that if none of them make it back, then the photographs they took at the exchange will tell a story that I think most of us would rather keep private. Thank you, Minister. Major. Yeah, I've got your back. Move. - What is it? - Arakee. Drink. And then we shall eat. Come on, get it together. Do you wish to know how much your father thinks you are worth? I have no father. You are all of his world. He destroys worlds. Like all men of violence. Let's just get this over with, shall we? SUBIN: Help me! Help me! - Clare! Clare! Help me! - Subin! She is not your concern. She is an abid, a slave. No. She is a nurse and my friend. - Help me! Help me! Help me! - And you wish to save her? No. No, I... - I wish you to. I desire it. - Oh. Help me! Help me! You cannot save someone in this place. You can only replace them. Do you desire this also? - Yes. If that's what it takes. - No. You are not for them. You are mine. Get off me! You want me willingly? Then protect her. You will be willing in time... Help me! Clare! When you have lost your taste for ultimatums. Yes, Do it. (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) Make your father proud. I knew it. I fucking knew it. Coward. Now, where the fuck do you think you're going? To the camp. He needs help. Get in. (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) Subin! Fuck. (SCREAMING) Clare! Where are my weapons? Is this all you have brought me? - One soldier? - Let her go. But she wishes to remain. She has chosen to stay here. Is that not so? Please. Don't hurt her. You must go now. My men will soon return and they are many. I told you. I can get you those weapons. Anything you need. And still, you do not hear. - Say goodbye to your daughter. - No! Clare, you're okay. You're safe. Najim! Najim? It's okay. Najim? - Come here to me. Najim, come here. - Clare, we have to go. If he doesn't want to come, that's his problem. - No. I'm not leaving him. - Janjaweed! They are coming! - Najim! - Move. Move now! Crawford! Get in. - Crawford, drive. Kill the lights. - They are coming. Quick, it's okay. He saved my life. I can't leave him. - Move! Move! Go! Go! - Najim! No, wait He's coming. He's coming. Stop the car. - Quickly. - Come on... Come on... Good boy. Well done. (GUARD GROANING) That's not my usual fantasy. Usually you're wearing latex and a strap on. I see the bullet hasn't improved your sense of humour, then. And Stonebridge? You found his corpse yet or are you still looking? We don't know that he's dead yet. He's been looking for that bullet ever since Kate died. You knew that. And you fucking used it. You knew he'd go the whole nine yards to rescue some damsel in distress. Too bad your perfect plan fucked up, huh? I liked him too, Scott, you know. But unfortunately I can only rescue you at the moment. Lucky me. Bitch. Nothing. I think we're good. They're just chasing blind. For now. But we're still going to have to keep moving. You can still have that morphine shot if you want it. - That's all right. - It's okay. I won't think you're any less macho. Someone else might need it more later. That's reassuring. Thanks. You know, I hope what he's paying you feels worth it. I don't work for him. I work for the British government. He's my prisoner. I've been arrested for trafficking arms. The weapons I was sending to save you. So I struck a new deal. We help get you out, and he gives us valuable information about a terrorist. Which he knows about, how? And you expect me to be grateful? Well, at least you got your money back. That's something, eh? (PHONE RINGING) Colonel, we're picking up smoke trails at the water hole at Bir an Natrun. The heat map indicates some sort of explosion. If Stonebridge had managed to engage the Janjaweed then this would fit that scenario. Right, send through the image. Julia thinks that lunatic might still be alive. Really? It's probably nothing, it's an oil burn, or a blip. Let me see that. That's not nothing. Send a chopper, take a closer look. Unfortunately I don't have the resources. What? This operation was not officially sanctioned. - Excuse me? - London vetoed the mission. They still think Crawford is in custody in Kenya. Which is where he would be, if everything had gone to plan. - I took a calculated risk. - Fuck that. - We need the information on Latif. - And fuck you. Yeah, in latex, I know. Shall we save the recriminations till later? Let's get you to safety. Wait. Dieter's file say that he was a chopper pilot. It's a long shot but they might have a bird out here, to extract Clare and Crawford after the exchange. How unfortunate that you killed him then. Is it worth a hand job if I didn't? Hello, Dieter. I'm Colonel Grant. British Military Intelligence. Don't move. Please, don't move. If I push this, an air bubble will go into your heart and kill you. It's a very nasty way to go. It's just insurance. You were going to kill my men after all. - No. We weren't, we... - Shh, shh, shh, shh. Now I can choose not to kill you. So shall we discuss where your transport is? How many people have you killed, rescuing me? I don't know. Less than I'll save if I get that information. That doesn't make it right. - It's still playing God. - That's a doctor's prerogative, is it? - Don't preach to me. - No. I'm not. I'm sorry. I've spent my whole life trying to prove that I was different from him. Only to realise that I'm just the same. I've killed people. I killed my own fiancé. That wasn't your fault. It was my fault. It was my fault that we were abducted. He hated the camps. He hated the danger, and I made him stay. Because I wanted to save that boy's mother but I didn't save her. She died anyway. So they'd blame you too, would they? They're dead now, and you'll never forgive yourself because neither would they? They deserved to live. Clare, have you ever saved anyone that didn't? (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) Fuck! Fuck me! Fuck! Can somebody get this fuck off me? MAN: Where's Hendricks? Hendricks is in hospital, Andre and the others are dead, so let's not fuck up anymore. - And who are you? - I'm Mr Crawford's CEO. The code word for this is Scylla and Charybdis. Now move it, soldier, we have a package to collect. Go, guys. Crawford, wake up. Look. Government troops. Army checkpoint. Well, that's good, isn't it? I'll name drop Matak, we'll get an escort back to Khartoum. - What? - I don't know. - What are they doing out here? - Patrolling? Who cares? Maybe Matak has them looking for us. Christ knows I've paid him enough. Matak set you up before, remember? And your men tried to kill him at the exchange. Maybe he just wants to return the favour? I say we find a different route, just to be safe. (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) - What's he saying? - Janjaweed. Two jeeps. Coming fast. We press on. We hit that checkpoint. If the soldiers are friendly, we'll have more firepower against the Janjaweed. Crawford, you drive, take it slow, but get ready to gun it on my command. What's going on? What are you doing? It's a checkpoint. Get your head down, we might need to blast through. - No. No more guns. - Clare, just keep low. Crawford. Latif's spy. What's his name? Clare's safe now, is she? STONEBRIDGE: Jacoub! Stay down. (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) Jacoub, keep your weapon down. Put your weapon down. (JACOUB SINGING) Oh, for Christ's sake. No, that's good, it'll frighten the life out of them if they hear us all singing. Everyone, sing nice and loud, come on. (EVERYONE SINGING) Go. Go. Go. Go! Just drive. Get down. They wanted us dead. They were fucking government forces. I told you Matak had us marked. Najim, outstanding! Back of the net with that one. We're celebrating killing people, are we? - Is everyone all right? Dad? Najim? - You all right? Yeah, he's good. We're all fine. Except me. I've been shot. Dad. I've got him, I've got him, I've got him. CLARE: He's been hit. STONEBRIDGE: It's all right, it's all right... CLARE: Bit higher, bit higher... Jacoub, get the fuck out of here. All right, Dad? It's all right, Dad, just relax for me, Dad, okay? I'm here. (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) It feels wet. Like I'm drowning... I know, just relax. - I can't feel an exit wound. - Shit! Crawford. I need you to give me the name of Latif's spy. You saved your daughter's life. You have her. Now tell me his name. - Are you interrogating him? - Yes, I am. Don't you dare! He's dying! He's got blood in his lungs and they're filling up and there's fuck all in here that I can use to stop it. I can still hear all this. Okay, Dad. Just relax. Just keep calm. Fine. Clare, what do you need? Okay. I need something sharp to stab into his chest to release the pressure. - That's fine. I have a knife. - That's no good. - A valve, I need a valve. - I've got a pen in my back pocket. - Yes, a pen. A pen will work. - Here. Okay? Yes. Perfect. Take that bit out, then slice off the end. All right, Dad, just keep breathing for me. That's right... I've got you... I've got you... - Are you good? - All right. All right. - (NAJIM SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) - They are gaining! Najim, here, here. Same as last time! (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) Here. Stick it in here, between the first and second rib. No. You do it. You're the surgeon. (CRAWFORD GROANING) Oh, fuck, I can't. He's my dad. Please? - Okay, here? First and second rib? Here? - Yes. (AIR WHOOSHING OUT) That's it? That's the air coming out, right? Yes. Jacoub, why are we slowing down? I don't know. The gas... We must've been hit at the checkpoint. Under that tree. Pull up to that side, pull over. Okay. That's good. Just keep looking into my eyes, Dad. - It's all okay. - Clare. - Come on, Jacoub. - No, don't close your eyes. (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) Stay! - I need you to stay here, and cover me. - Okay. I'm going to draw the fire. Fuck! Why aren't you dead? (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) Go! Go! It's working, Dad. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. - Clare... - Dad. Stonebridge, he needs a name. Just don't die on me now. I'm sorry... Dad... Dad... No ammo. I'm out of ammo. The car. More in the car, Jacoub. I'll cover you. Stay down, behind the front of the car. (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) Where the fuck is he? Allah, I will never die. You can't kill me. (HELICOPTER APPROACHING) I'm sorry too. Clare... Come on. MAN: Clare, Clare, come with me. Keep your head down. Get in. Tell me you got it. He gave her the name of the spy before he died. I'll be right back. - So you got your car then? - Yes. - And your money? - Thank you. And you are sure no one will come and look for it? No. You've earned it, it's yours. We are business partners now. Jacoub and Sons. (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) Yeah, I will beat you for your rudeness. (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) - (SPEAKING IN SUDANESE ARABIC) - Now, go. You want to put away the Pulitzer for a minute, come back here? Doctor's orders, sweetie. Can't get you too excited. I promise I'll make it worth your while. What's the matter, sweetie? Wow. Previously on Strike Back New target Gerald Crawford. He's Latif's chief armory. You have the weapons ready? No. But I have this as collateral. That man that you murdered... He's my fiance. - Damien? - Hey, Maggie. Just give me the headlines. Is it juicy? That arms deal was a ransom payment for my daughter. Clare! Stay down! Get me my daughter back, and I'll give you Latif. Let's move! Ahhh! Michael, the girl! Get out! Why? (GRUNTS) Unlike your father, I am a man who keeps his word. TAHIR: Allah. (CLARE GRUNTING) TAHIR: You wish to bury your fiance. Go there and find him. I will wait, while you dig. (FLIES BUZZING) (CRYING) Oh! This is the journey your father has sent you on. No... TAHIR: This is where it ends. (GAGGING) Your old life is over now. You have only a new one...with me. TAHIR: Do you desire it? If not, I will leave you here to lie with him. (CRYING) Make your choice. Tahir... No. (COCKS GUN) Please...just, just wait, don't please. Choose. Oh. (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ Strike Back 02x06 ♪ Episode 6 Original Air Date on September 23, 2011 == sync, corrected by elderman == ♪ (GUNS COCKING) STONEBRIDGE: Here. Pull back here, aim, pull the trigger. Yeah? You're not afraid I might use this on you? If you can find your daughter without me, go ahead. (ENGINE STARTING) He's doing what? Get me satellite surveillance on a 50-mile grid around the exchange point. Where's Scott? I had to bring him back Khartoum along with that bloody journalist woman. - He took a bullet to the spleen. - (SIGHS) SINCLAIR: (OVER COMMS) He's lost a lot of blood. They're prepping him for surgery, now. You've let Stonebridge go off on some suicide rescue mission, with the only lead... to Latif... Please tell me Crawford gave you the intel beforehand. - Negative... - Sinclair. And I think I'm about to get arrested. Walk away now, you don't know me, go. (YELLING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) (MUMBLES IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) (YELLING CONTINUES) JACOUB: (CONTINUOUSLY) Wait, wait, wait... There are two wells near here. The Janjaweed will be close to one. The nearest is Bir an Natrun...that way. And we're trusting him as our guide, why exactly? It was Tahir's men who destroyed my village. And my family. And, your friend, Scott, he promised me much money. And a new car if I help you, yes? You gotta love that mercenary spirit. So, what's your reason? This isn't only about Latif, is it? Not for you. If we don't get a signal soon, get some back-up... We're driving towards Clare in a hearse. (GRUNTING) Fuck... I'm not going to hurt you, I need some drugs. (GRUNTING) Adrenaline... Something to keep me going. If you come with me, I can get you your drugs, and examine your wound also. There are soldiers here, they're looking for me. SEELA: Why? I was trying to rescue a woman. She's a doctor. She got kidnapped by the Janjaweed. Her name's Clare Somersby. - The aid worker? - Yeah. She's going to die... Along with a lot of other people, if you don't help me. (GRUNTING) Okay... So, please? (SOLDIERS YELL IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) There's no sign yet of Stonebridge on any of the satellite feeds... Widen your grid reference. What about Matak? (CHUCKLES) According to his office, he's away on an official engagement. - No, He's stalling... He's just hoping nothing will stick to him. See if she was arrested, as well, and get me on a flight to Khartoum. I'm gonna have to deal with this personally. (IN ARABIC) (IN ARABIC) (CONTINUES SPEAKING IN ARABIC) (DOOR CLOSES) (MACHINE BEEPING) SCOTT: Thank you. I need a phone. I have done all that I can. For you and the other one. I'm sorry. Hey... What do you mean, the other one? Hendricks. He came in last night. He'd been in a car accident. (DOOR CLOSES) (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) I have to go. (SINGING UNDER HIS BREATH) It's when I'm nervous... I used to sing that song to my children... When they are scared... To help them sleep. And now, whenever I am frightened... Beautiful story... Now shut the fuck up. (PEOPLE SCREAMING) Shit. Hey, hey. No, no. They are Masalit. Villagers. Farmers. Why are they running? (SOLDIERS YELLING) That's why. Janjaweed. JACOUB: What do we do? Depends how many there are. Let's take one alive and find out. (GRUNTING) (HORSE NEIGHING) (CONTINOUSLY) Yah... Take the wheel. What? (GRUNTING) Drive right up beside him! (HORSE NEIGHING) (YELLING) (GRUNTING) (CAR SCREECHES TO HALT) Son of a bitch. (GRUNTS) Jacoub! Get out there and translate for me. He's going to tell us where the camp is. (YELLING IN ARABIC) (WINCES) (YELLING IN ARABIC) Hmm? If you become Tahir's woman, it will make you safe. And you also. I promise. You cannot save everyone. That's what Bakri said. But saving even one person, surely, would be something. If we'd used sniper rifles, instead of driving straight at them... We could've picked them off easy. Jacoub, we're good, if we stay in this direction, yeah? Yes, that way. No point in rescuing Clare if we can't all get out again. You do want to get home, don't you? See your wife? That's a wedding ring, right? What about kids? Got any of them? Okay, no kids. Your marriage is shit. That's starting to make more sense... Don't fucking shrink me! You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. I know self-loathing when I see it. How reckless that can make a man. That's why I'm here. Only I want to rescue Clare, not die trying. Now, we're professional fucking soldiers. We got a job to do... You're not a fucking soldier. You're a scumbag arms dealer, selling mass murder. So, yes, you should fucking hate yourself. That's why Clare hates you too, right? But that's your shit to work out, not mine. I don't give a fuck if she forgives you or not. I'm here for one reason and one reason only. And that's to get that information on Latif. No... Which I'm starting to think is just some bullshit... story you're selling... I'll keep my part of the deal. Really, Crawford? Redemption costs. And on my watch, you fucking pay up front. Everything you know about Latif. Or I put a fucking bullet in your head right now. Latif has a spy at the top of British intelligence. Neutralize him, and you'll stop the atrocity Latif has planned. He can't finalize the arrangements without him. Who is he? I need a name. When my daughter is safe. Last chance. Oh, you need Clare safe, as much as I do. You wouldn't be here otherwise. People die. I'm fine with that. You fucking prick. Shoot, then. (DISTORTED EXPLOSION) Fuck. (PLANE ENGINE ROARING) (KNOCK ON DOOR) Hello, Maggie. I'm Eleanor Grant. Can I get you a drink? No, but can you can turn off the recording device in your pocket. This conversation is off the record. We never met. Do you understand? (DEVICE BEEPS OFF) Damien said you were a ball breaker. Well, Damien Scott talks too much and to people he shouldn't. He knows he can trust me. I protect my sources. That's why I'm here talking to you. I want to protect him. Why were you not arrested also? Nobody knew I was there, just taking photos. Damien looks after me too. Right, I'm gonna need copies of all the photos. No way. But I will promise not to use any that compromise your team. I think you misunderstood me. All photos, now. You do not publish until this is over. You make no mention of my unit or personnel. (LAUGHING) Or what? You gonna kill me? Mmm-hmm. (YELLING IN DISTANCE) CRAWFORD: I can't see her. Christ, there's a lot of them. We're heading out soon. Once they've juiced themselves up for the night. (YELLING IN ARABIC) (GUNSHOTS FIRING) That's him. That's the one we kill, no matter what. (CONTINUES YELLING IN ARABIC) (GUNSHOTS CONTINUE) (YELLING) Why isn't he leaving with them? She's in that hut. She's in that hut with him. I trust you have been treated appropriately, Major Sinclair. Yes, thank you. (KNOCK ON DOOR) (DOOR OPENS) Colonel Grant. As-Salaam Aleikom. (IN ARABIC) Wa alaikum assalaam. Sit, please. It is a tragedy how things have turned out. Okay. Then let us work to resolve it. Indeed, yes. All along, I have tried merely to facilitate this poor girl's return. As your Major Sinclair can confirm. Yes. Well, I'm glad you now accept my men were not responsible for the shoot-out. The shoot-out. Oh, no, no, no, no. Although, there is still a fatal traffic incident... About which we must question Mr. Scott. If he can recover from his wounds, of course. I understood he survived the surgery. So far, yes, but complications do occur. Hmm... May I visit him? Alas, no. He is still under arrest. As for Mr. Stonebridge and Mr. Crawford... Tomorrow, we will send troops into the desert. I only pray we find them, before the bandits who have his daughter. It would be deeply regrettable... If all my men brought back... were their two corpses. Rest assured, Minister. That if none of them make it back... Then the photographs they took at the exchange... Tell a story I think most of us would rather keep private. Thank you, Minister. GRANT: Major. (DOOR CLOSES) (INCOHERENT CHATTERING) CRAWFORD: Yeah, I've got your back. Move. What is it? Arak. Drink. Then we shall eat. (CHUCKLES) (ASSEMBLING GUN) Come on, get it together. Do you wish to know how much your father thinks you are worth? I have no father. You are all of his world. He destroys worlds. Like all men of violence. (SIGHS) Let's just get this over with, shall we? (MEN CHATTERING) SUBIN: Help me! Help me! (SOBBING) Stop, help me! Subin! She is not your concern. She is an abid, a slave... No, she is a nurse, and my friend. (LAUGHING) And you wish to save her? SUBIN: (CONTINUOUSLY) Help me! Help me! No... No, I... I wish you to. I desire it. Oh... (SCREAMING CONTINUES) (SOLDIERS LAUGHING) SUBIN: Help me! Help me! You cannot save someone in this place. You can only replace them. Do you desire this also? Yes. If that's what it takes. No. You are not for them. You are mine. Get off me! (TAHIR LAUGHING) (YELLING CONTINUES) (SUBIN CRYING) (SOLDIERS LAUGHING) You want me willingly? Then protect her. You will be willing, in time... (SCREAMING) When you have lost your taste for ultimatums. (GRUNTS) (YELLING) (SCREAMING) (GRUNTING) (LAUGHING) (SOBBING) Help me. Do it. (YELLS IN ARABIC) (GRENADE PIN CHIMES) Make your father proud. (GROANS) (EXPLOSION) (SCREAMING) I knew it, I fucking knew it. Coward. (SOLDIERS YELLING) (GUNSHOTS FIRING) (STONEBRIDGE GRUNTING) Well, where the fuck do you think you're going? JACOUB: To the camp. He needs help. (JACOUB COCKS GUN) Get in. (GUNSHOTS AND YELLING CONTINUE) (IN ARABIC) Subin! (GRUNTING) STONEBRIDGE: Fuck! (GUNSHOTS CONTINUE) Ahhh! Fuck! (GRUNTS) Fuck. (YELLING) (MOANING AND GRUNTING) Clare. (CLARE CRYING) Where are my weapons? Is this all you have brought me? TAHIR: One soldier? Let her go. But she wishes to remain. She has chosen to stay here. Is that not so? (GRUNTS) Please. Don't hurt her. You must go, now. My men will soon return. And they are many. I told you. I can get you those weapons. Anything you need... (LAUGHING) And still, you do not hear. - Say goodbye to your daughter. - No! (GRUNTING) (YELLING) Clare, it's okay, you're safe. (SCREAMING) Najim! Najim! CLARE: Najim, it's okay! Najim! STONEBRIDGE: Clare, we have to go. Come here to me! Najim, come here! If he doesn't want to come with us, that's his problem. No, I'm not leaving him. Janjaweed. They are coming. (HORSES NEIGHING) Move. Move, now. Crawford! Get in! STONEBRIDGE: Crawford, drive. Kill the lights! They are coming! Quick, it's okay! No, he saved my life. I can't leave him. Najim! Move, move! Go. Go. Wait! No, wait. He's coming. He's coming. Stop the car. Najim! Come on, Son. Come on. Good boy. Good boy. STONEBRIDGE: Come on. (HORSES NEIGHING) (YELLING) (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) (TAHIR GRUNTING) (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) (TASER ZAPPING) (SOLDIER GRUNTING) (BODY FALLS DOWN) (MACHINE BEEPING) It's not my usual fantasy. Usually, you're wearing latex and a strap-on. Well, I see the bullet hasn't improved your sense of humor, then. And Stonebridge? You found his corpse yet or you're still looking? We don't know that he's dead yet. (GRUNTING) He's been looking for that bullet ever since Kate died. And, you knew that. You fucking used it. You knew he'd go the whole nine to rescue some damsel in distress. Too bad your perfect plan fucked up, huh? I liked him too, Scott. Yeah. But, unfortunately, I can only rescue you at the moment. (GRUNTING) Lucky me... (WHISPERS) Bitch. (GRUNTING) (WATER DRIPPING) Nothing. I think we're good. They're just chasing blind. For now. But we're still gonna have to keep moving. (GRUNTING) You can still have that morphine shot if you want it. That's all right. It's okay, I won't think you're any less macho. Someone else might need it more later. Hmm. That's reassuring. Thanks. (CONTINUES GRUNTING) You know, I hope what he's paying you feels worth it. I don't work for him. I work for the British government. He's my prisoner. I've been arrested for trafficking arms... Weapons I was sending to save you. So, I...struck a new deal. We help get you out... And he gives us valuable information about a terrorist. Which he knows about how? (CRYING) And you expect me to be grateful? Well, at least you got your money back. That's something, eh? (PHONE RINGING) (PHONE BEEPS ON) RICHMOND: (ON PHONE) Colonel. We're picking up smoke trails at the water hole at Bir an Natrun. The heat map indicates some sort of explosion. If Stonebridge has managed to engage the Janjaweed, then this would fit that scenario. All right, send through the image. (PHONE BEEPS OFF) (GRUNTING) (BREATHING HEAVILY) Julia thinks that lunatic might still be alive. (PHONE BEEPING) Really? Probably nothing, it's an oil burn or a blip... SCOTT: Oh. Uh... Let me see. That's not nothing. Send a chopper, take a closer look. Oh... Unfortunately, I don't have the resources. What? This operation was not officially sanctioned. Excuse me? London vetoed the mission. They still think Crawford is in custody in Kenya... Which is where he would be, if everything had gone to plan. (CHUCKLING) Oh... I took a calculated risk. - Fuck that. Fuck you. - We need the information on Latif. Yeah, yeah. In Latex, I know. Should we save the recriminations till later? Let's get you to safety. Wait. In Dieter's file, it said that he was a chopper pilot. It's a long shot, but they might have had a bird out here... To extract Clare and Crawford after the exchange. How unfortunate that you killed him, then. (LAUGHING) Is it worth a hand job, if I didn't? GRANT: Hello, Dieter. I'm Colonel Grant, British Military Intelligence. (GRUNTING) GRANT: Don't move, please, don't move. If I push this, an air bubble will go into your heart and kill you... GRANT: It's a very nasty way to go. It's just Insurance. You weren't going to kill my men after all. No. We weren't, we... Shh, shh, shh, shh... (WHISPERING) Now I can choose not to kill you. So, shall we discuss where your transport is? Uh... How many people have you killed, rescuing me? I don't know. Less than I'll save, if I get that information. That doesn't make it right. It's still playing God. Mmm... It's a doctor's prerogative, is it? Don't preach to me. (CRYING) No, I'm not. I'm sorry. I've spent my whole life trying to prove I was different from him. Only to realize that I'm just the same. I've killed people. I killed my own fiance. That wasn't your fault. It was my fault. It was my fault that we were abducted. He hated the camps. He hated the danger, and I made him stay. Because I wanted to save that boy's mother. But, I didn't save her. She died anyway. So, they'd blame you too, would they? They're dead now, and you'll never forgive yourself because neither would they? (SNIFFLING) They deserved to live. Clare, have you ever saved anyone that didn't? (IN ARABIC) (GUNSHOTS FIRED) (GRUNTING) (GROANING) SCOTT: (GRUNTING) Ugh. Fuck. SCOTT: Fuck me. Ugh...fuck. Somebody get this fuck off me! MAN WITH GUN: Where's Hendricks? Hendricks is in a hospital, Andre and the others are dead. So let's not fuck up anymore! And who are you? GRANT: I'm Mr. Crawford's CEO. Codeword for this, is Scylla and Charybdis. Now, move it soldier, we've got a package to collect. (SOLDIER MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY) (DISTORTED BREATHING) (DISTORTED SOUNDS) (SCREECHES TO HALT) Crawford, wake up. Look. Government troops. Army checkpoint. Well, that's good, isn't it? I'll name drop Matak, we'll get an escort back to Khartoum. Uh... I don't know. What? What are they doing out here? Well, patrolling? Who cares? Maybe Matak has them looking for us... CRAWFORD: Christ knows I've paid him enough. Matak set you up before, remember. And your men tried to kill him at the exchange. Maybe he just wants to return the favor? I say we find a different route, just to be safe. (YELLING IN ARABIC) What's he saying? Janjaweed. Two jeeps. Coming fast. If we press on, we hit that checkpoint. If the soldiers are friendly we'll have more fire power against the Janjaweed. STONEBRIDGE: Crawford, you drive, take it slow, but get ready to gun it on command. What's going on? What are you doing? It's a checkpoint, get your head down, we might need to blast through. No. No more guns. Clare, just keep low. Crawford. Latif's spy. What's his name? Oh, Clare's safe now, is she? What... (GRUNTING) Jacoub. (ENGINE STARTS) Stay down. (YELLING IN ARABIC) (SINGING IN ARABIC) Jacoub, put your weapon down. Put your weapon down. (JACOUB CONTINUES SINGING) Oh, for Christ's sake... No, no that's good, it'll frighten the life out of them, if they hear us all singing. Everyone, sing. Nice and loud. Come on! (ALL SINGING INCOHERENTLY) (SINGING CONTINUES) Good, Go. Go, go! (GUNS FIRING) (YELLING) (EXPLOSIVE RUMBLING) (GUNSHOTS CONTINUE) (YELLING CONTINUES) (CLARE GASPING) They wanted us dead. They weren't fucking government forces! I told you, Matak had us marked. Najim, outstanding, back of the net with that one. Oh, we're celebrating killing people, are we? Is everyone all right? Dad? Najim? You all right? Yeah, he's good. We're all fine. (LAUGHING) Except me... I've been shot. (VEHICLE SLOWS TO STOP) CLARE: Dad... (GRUNTING) (INCOHERENT CHATTERING) CLARE: He's been hit. STONEBRIDGE: No his back, his back. CLARE: Ugh, get him higher. Get him higher. STONEBRIDGE: (GRUNTING) Jacoub get the fuck out of here. CLARE: All right, Dad? CLARE: It's all right, Dad. Just, just relax for me Dad, okay? I'm here. (YELLING IN ARABIC) (GUNSHOTS FIRED) It feels wet. Wet, like I'm drowning... I know, just relax. I can's feel an exit wound. Shit. Crawford, I need you to give me the name of Latif's spy. You saved your daughter's life. You have her, now tell me his name. Are you interrogating him? Yes, I am! Don't you dare! He's dying! He's got blood in his lungs and they're filling up... And there's fuck all in here that I can use to stop it! I can still hear all this. Okay, Dad, just relax. Just keep calm. (CRAWFORD GAGGING) Fine, Clare! What do you need? (STAMMERING) Okay... I need something sharp... To stab into his chest, to release the pressure. That's right. I have a knife. That's no good. A valve... I need a valve. Got a pen. In my back pocket. Yes, a pen! A pen will work! Here... Okay? Yes, perfect. Um, take that part out of it, and then slice off the end. All right, Dad, just keep breathing for me. That's right. I've got you. I've got you. Are you good? All right. All right. (YELLING) (YELLING IN ARABIC) Keep breathing for me, all right? They're gaining! Najim, here, here! Same as last time! (PULLS PIN FROM GRENADE) (YELLING AND SCREAMING) Here. Stick it in here, between the first and second rib. No, you do it. You're the surgeon. (CRAWFORD GRUNTING) Oh! Oh, fuck, I can't! He's my Dad. Please? Okay, here? First and second rib, here? CLARE: Uh-huh. (GRUNTING) (AIR BLOWING) CLARE: Fuck. STONEBRIDGE: That's it. That's the air coming out, right? Come on, Dad... (CRYING) Yes. (GAGGING) (ENGINE STRUGGLING) Jacoub? Why are we slowing down? I don't know. The gas. Pull over. It must've been hit at the checkpoint. Pull over by that tree... Pull up to that side and pull over. JACOUB: Okay. STONEBRIDGE: (GRUNTING) That's good. (GRUNTING) (HEAVY BREATHING) Just keep looking into my eyes, dad. CLARE: It's okay. No! Clare? Come on, Jacoub! CLARE: Don't close your eyes! (YELLS IN ARABIC) (STONEBRIDGE YELLS IN ARABIC TO NAJIM) (JACOUB YELLS IN ARABIC) I need you to stay here and cover me. JACOUB: Okay! I'm gonna draw the fire. What the fuck? Why aren't you dead? (YELLING IN ARABIC) (GUNSHOTS) Go, go! (GUNSHOTS AND YELLING CONTINUE) Dad, it's working, dad. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. (YELLING CONTINUES) (GUNSHOTS CONTINUE) (EXPLOSION) (HEAVY BREATHING) Clare? Dad? CRAWFORD: It's no good. He needs a name. (CRYING) Just don't die on me now. I'm sorry. (WHISPERS INCOHERENTLY) Dad? Dad? No ammo! I'm out of ammo! The car! More in the car, Jacoub! I'll cover you! (GRUNTING) (YELLING) Stay down behind the front of the car! (IN ARABIC) Where the fuck is he? (LAUGHING) (GRUNTING) Hey Allah! I will never die! TAHIR: You can't kill me. (HELICOPTER APPROACHING) (GUNSHOTS) (GRUNTING) (GRUNTING) Fuck. I'm sorry too. Clare? Come on. SOLDIER: Clare! Clare, come with me! Keep your head down! Get in. Tell me you've got it. He gave her the name of the spy, before he died. Be right back. - So, you got your car then. - Yes. And your money. Thank you. And you are sure no one will come and look for it? No. You've earned it. It's yours. We are business partners, now. "Jacoub and Sons." (IN ARABIC) I will beat you for your rudeness. (SPEAKS IN ARABIC) As-Salamu. As-Salamu. Now, go. As-Salamu. Wanna put away the Pulitzer for a minute? Come back here. Doctor's orders, Sweetie. Can't get you too excited. SCOTT: Promise... I'll make it worth your while. Huh? (LAUGHING) (SIGHS) (LAUGHING) Oh! What's the matter, Sweetie? Wow. (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) == sync, corrected by elderman == Tonight on "bachelor pad"... Whoo! Welcome to your second competition. (vienna) I cannot even explain to you how badly I don't want jake here. Who do you want to see go home this week? That is a hit. Jake. (blake) jake is a dead man walking. (kasey) everything is perfect right now. I'm in control. Do you think you deserve to be here? Yes, I do. That's full of (bleep). Like, honestly, come on. You don't deserve to be here. There's nothing more in me that wants to reach out And just punch him across the face and say, "that's for america. That's for my girlfriend." (woman) in the middle of drama and chaos, You can still find love. Seeing you, like, makes me realize that... I really want you to be happy, you know? Here's to you and I having already taken The most important prize of this competition. I think from here on out, it's you and I till the end. Blake? (melissa) I've caught blake and holly One-on-one several times. (blake) when melissa walks in, That's not really the threesome I had in mind. (jake) everybody will eventually stab you in the back For $250,000. (gia) this is (bleep), this game. Graham backstabbed me. (crying) I'm not losing my friend Because of something I did. You guys all had a preconceived notion of who I was. Honest to god, I really think it's (bleep). (crying) just tell me what happened. You're okay. (woman) this is crazy. Everything is about to change here tonight. (erica) oh, my god. Oh, my god. It's all coming up right now on "bachelor pad." (woman) that was the most shocking exit In "bachelor pad" history. (kasey) I have control of this game. Justin and alli were both going back and forth to both sides. They had to go home. (erica) I felt bad for alli a little bit. She looked sad like she was, like, fighting tears. (kasey) if you don't choose a side, You're gonna get canceled. (woman) she went out gracefully. She did. (kasey) 2 down, 16 to go. Everything is going absolutely according to plan. Right now the most important thing to me Is sending jake home. It's mind-boggling. Like, I just wanna punch the guy. I can't do it, so I'm gonna punch him mentally And just beat down his spirits, drive him crazy. He's gonna go nuts. He's gonna try to talk his way out of everything, And there's nothing he can do. Peace, bro. Jake's a joke. I'll be damned if I lose the next competition to him. (woman) good night. ♪ (chris) guys! Let's go! (jake) right now my position's a little unique. You know, I came in with a huge target on my back. I'm... Pretty confident that Everybody's starting to get to know me. There's a pretty good consensus. You know, "jake is-- wow, he's really not a jerk That he wawaportrayed as." I'm in a pretty good spot. Yeah! (chris) come join me for today's challenge. Whoo-hoo! Whoo! But winning the competition is still very important. Very, very important. I'm gonna go in there and give everything I've got To win this challenge because I need this rose. It'd be wonderful just to be able To slide right through another elimination. I think it really affects people, too. Welcome to your second competition-- "target on your backck Each of you will actually be a target. Guys, we're gonna start with you. You're gonna be blindfolded. You're gonna face with your back towards the ladies. Ladies, you're gonna come out here one at a time. You'll be asked three very difficult, revealing questions. You'll then pick up a paint-filled egg. You will take aim, And you will fire that egg At the man who best fits that question. If you hit your target, you get a point. You miss your target, nothing. You can hit that person anywhere on their body, But the egg has to break for it to count. The woman with the most points when it's all said and done Wins the competition, gets the rose, Safe for the next rose ceremony, and gets that romantic date. When the ladies are done, we're gonna switch places. Guys, it'll then be your turn. Let's play "target on your back." (kasey clears throat) (vienna) I cannot explain how happy I am. I used to play softball. I have a pretty good aim. This challenge is gonna be easy-speasy for me, And, uh, jake's... (chris) all right, guys, first contestant is walking out, So the challenge has begun. Please remain facing forward. Your first question is, "who are you the least attracted to?" (gia) I need this rose really badly Because I don't have a group that I belong to. I'm kind of, like, solo, So this rose is really important for me To keep myself safe and to keep jake safe. That is a direct hit, and a point for you, contestant. (bell dings) Here comes the next contestant. Who are you least attracted to? That one did not miss. (bell dings) on william. Who are you least attracted to? And now... I'm here to kill Choi Eung-chan. I am... the City Hunter. Da-hye's own cafe latte. It's so pretty. You're now a real barista. Right? Nana. Was it hard burying your father? Your dark circles are hanging low. Are they? Cover them up. Hello, all. Da-hye. Nana. Hello. The funeral's over? Well, yeah, it happened. We're getting married. I told you you look good together. Congratulations. Thank you. Now that Nana quit and Yoon-sung's gone... The Blue House is so boring. You said all you needed was me to be happy and... This is why one shouldn't propose too soon. Take it. Mine, too. Da-hye. It's OK if you're too busy to come to the wedding. I'll text you my account number. I wish you health and happiness. Choi Eung-chan. Be happy, Eun-ah. Ma am, how about... we open a restaurant in the States? We can name it Delicious Korean. What did the ex-president say? He's sorry, grateful, and he wished me happiness. You know... I was a chef on a ship once. I love Korean food. It's amazing. The Americans need to taste my food. I'll be famous. 21 died serving their country carrying out a secret mission in 1983. They are heroes and they are... Lee Jin-pyo, Park Mu-yeol Thank you for watching City Hunter. -=The events depicted in this drama are fictitious. Any similarity to any person, institutions or events is merely coincidental.=- This is the story of your real father. He shielded me from a bullet. The only reason why I have lived till now, is just to take revenge on them. Let me take revenge. I want to change. This is my destiny. Finally, you have succeeded. MIT has invited you over. - MIT has invited you over. -=MIT: Massachusetts Institute of Technology.= =MIT: Massachusetts Institute of Technology.=- Starting from today, you are a Texas-born American citizen. Lee Yun Seong is your identity, and your English name is John Lee. This is your passport and your identity card. It looks just like the real thing. It is real. Think like that. Always remember these three points. From now on, you must forget your old identity. Live as your new identity. Don't trust anyone. And don't fall in love with anyone. If your true identity is revealed, the people that you know will be covered in blood. -=7 years later, Republic of South Korea=- Don't trust anyone. And don't fall in love. If your identity is revealed, the people that you know will be covered in blood. His condition is getting worse, with pulmonary infection. Continuing with the treatment would be meaningless. Moreover, your current medical fees are costly enough. I will definitely come up with the money in one month. Therefore... please, you must definitely save him. I absolutely can't let go of my dad like this. He has been in a coma for 10 years. Maybe it's time to give up. Because of me, my dad is like that. I can't give up, I can't. Doctor! Please save him. I'm begging you! Please save him. Please save my father. Please save him. Hello everybody, I'm from life beverage company. I sell hangover drinks. We are currently having a free trial for our product. To participate, you just need to go to our website. These don't really work, right? It's a lie, right? There's no such thing. People who have tried this drink say that their stomachs feel a lot better the very next day. No, thanks. We don't need it. Don't be like this. Sounds good. Let's give it a try. Thank you. One bottle, two bottles. Hello, It's Kim Na Na. Right now? Immediately? I hate to trouble you... but there's something I want you to find out. I heard there's someone who works different kind of jobs. They say this person even works as a replacement driver at night. Agent. Agent, chief, minister... Don't you have internet access? Just go online and search. What are you doing? Why don't you drink more? I know something more exciting than drinking. Let's leave. Do you still have a fever? Yes. If your condition changes, just contact me at anytime. Good. Thanks for your hard work. Get into the car first. Are you the replacement driver? Yes. The call sounded really urgent. Take us to the Ecstasy Hotel by Doosan intersection. Yes, sir. Wait a second! Miss Kim Mi Hee. Let's have a little talk. Do you know him? No, this is the first time I've met him. How do you know my name? I'm from the Seoul District... I didn't bring it! Anyway, there's something we need to talk about. What are you doing? Really... What are you trying to do? I have something to discuss with her. What would you want to talk to me about? I'm unemployed! It will just take a moment. Have you gone crazy? Ajussi! (Ajussi - older man, uncle) What are you trying to do? You want to use force to deal with girls? You... Do you know me? I don't know anyone who's like you. No, I am not the kind of person you think I am. Don't interfere. Miss Kim Min Hee, please get out of the car. What exactly are you trying to do? This ajussi! Really... She's clearly in a car with another man. Whatever you want to do, shouldn't you consider the situation? It really is funny. What's wrong? Not leaving? Mr. Prosecutor, are you okay? Mr. Prosecutor. These clothes will only cause people to misunderstand. You mean they didn't know you are a prosecutor because of your clothes? There is enough evidence, right? We almost had them! Can't stand it! Can't stand it! Why are they treating this car like it's a hotel? What's wrong? Why did you suddenly stop? It's no fun. Okay. I can get out. What are you doing? Are you teasing me? What's the matter? Did something happen? Just restrain yourself for another 2 minutes. We will be arriving at the hotel in 2 minutes. Hey, who do you think you are? If I say I can't help it, what will you do? Hey? ! Even if I am prepared to be understanding, I just can't stand you people, I can't drive you anymore. I'm not driving! I quit! I quit! Hey! Drive. I'm not driving. I quit. You! We originally agreed that I will get 20 000 Won for driving you there. Just give me 10 000 won. What? I've worked, so you need to at least pay right? Give me 10 000 won. How can there be a woman like you? I'm not paying you. You're not? Hey! Hey! What are you doing? Wow! Look at all these checks. You don't need to tip. Then... I'm taking exactly 10 000 Won. I wish there was a subway station nearby, so I can change my clothes. My hand phone! I'm waiting for a phone call. You... Are you jealous? Always asking me about my sponsor. If you're talking about money, I also have a lot of money. I can surpass that old man completely. The police have been secretly taking good care of him. And he gives them a lot of bribes. Bribes? The construction will receive bribes, we need some connection from inside, all the staff members take bribes. Did you see it? Did you see them taking money? Hello. There is a lady here asking for you to come to the parking lot. She said her hand phone is in your car. Ah, she's crazy. I don't know that woman. I was the 10 000 Won person from earlier. I left my hand phone in your car. Please take it out for me before you continue what you were doing. What are you saying? Ah... I shouldn't have called for you. I bet he'll file a complaint. You should leave, go. The car is actually just over there. I saw my phone in there. So unlucky! My hand phone. Oh, Oh... my replacement driver job! My money... my money... Hospital? Did you directly see him collect the money? He didn't give bribes in front of me. I only heard. How much was it? Of course, millions. Millions? How many millions? It is all written down in a manual. Since he's cautious, he always writes it down. He's so cautious. Manual? What? What is she doing? Please I beg you to do the operation, doctor. Today, I just earned money to pay the Hospital. I hope you can understand my difficulties. Why must we perform a surgery on a comatose patient? -=Stent Surgery: stent implantation=- To do such an operation requires a huge amount of money. Hospitals simply are going insane. We've already reached the limit. Maybe you should give up. A comatose patient is also a person, right? There are people who have woken up after 17 years! What if my father wakes up? Just because of money, you decided to give up on my father? I already said I would pay the money. Please carry out the stent surgery. Hurry. Please save my father. Go ahead with the surgery. Everything is settled. I've already paid for the surgery. Here, your hand phone. Wait a moment! You... why did you help me? I didn't help you. I just don't want to hear that someone died because of me. Thank you very much. I'll pay you back the money. Please give me your bank account number. There's no need. That money is only chewing gum money to me. I'll just think of it as a donation to the poor. It's just a small donation I gave you. I... Seriously, I mean you can't compare the absence of a father with chewing gum! And you can't classify us as "poor people". I still owe you a debt. Thank you! I will surely pay you back. Hello, this is Kim Na Na. What... me? I'm qualified? Yes, thank you! First of all, welcome to Cheong Wa Dae (Blue House). But... Don't assume that by coming into Cheong Wa Dae, (Note: Cheong Wa Dae - Blue House) you can afford to slack off and relax. You must give 100 percent and do your best. Who are you? How can a security officer be late on his first day of work? Why are you dressed up like that? I'm not a bodyguard. Then, who are you? They told me to come here. Dr. Lee! You're here. This shameless person has a doctorate? The National group of communication network is not here. You have to go to the next building. Oh, it's the guy with a doctorate from MIT! MIT? You are... 10 000 Won? I'm right? So, you are a Blue House security guard. No wonder you're so strong! Do you know each other? - Yes. - No. He has come a long way... he got his phd from MIT. He has achieved a lot and he is only 28 years old! He is a genius when it comes to information technology. And he has a doctorate in network engineering. This young man here is blessed with a tall physique. He is our compatriot from Texas who made Korea proud. I present you Dr. Lee Yun Seong. Pleased to meet you all, may you all guide me well. Dr. Lee Yun Seong? Yes? I will depend on you from now on. Yes. I understand. Everybody, go back to your respective work, quick, quick! Dr. Lee, your desk is right here. I'm Go Gi Jun. Yes, nice to meet you. I've been working in this department for 2 years. If you just do as I say, then it won't be difficult. Take good care of it. Don't mistake these with the midnight snack coupons that you can get by the fountain near the main entrance. Why? Well, because the canteen is generally closed around that time. I think you can have it back. Not working overtime is one of my working conditions. How is it possible that you're the only one who doesn't have to work overtime? Are you trying to pass your dinner task to him? Stop dreaming, Go Gi Jun. You're already an expert in this, so continue doing it in the future. He dares to ask someone from MIT to do this. Yes, I will continue to do it in the future. What? Aren't we going to camping training? It has been cancelled, right? I still haven't finished what I was saying. President Choi's daughter has caused her father some trouble. Her character is different from others. Yesterday, two female guards handed in their letter of resignation. The reason I came here is to protect the President, not the President's daughter. Hey, newcomer! Are you in charge here? Do you think you can do whatever you want? It's not that. It's just that my dream is... Stop talking about dreams! Protecting the President's family is as important as protecting the President himself. The training has been postponed to next year and it will be absolved by new employees. It's six months of training, and I will be the trainer. Repeat after me. One. You are entitled to watch and listen, but not to talk. One. I'm entitled to watch and listen, but not to talk. Second. My function is to be a protective shield. Second. My function is to be a... protective shield. Lee Yun Seong. Lee Yun Seong. Lee Yun Seong! I texted you several times, to ask for your bank account, but you didn't even reply once. I said you don't need to. That amount is just like the price of chewing gum for me. That's all you want to say, right? Wait... I don't know if I can chew that much gum, but please let me try to repay you, okay? So give me your account number. Although I cannot return the full amount to you at once, I will slowly repay you. You'll never be able to, so just forget it! I will just search for a side job so that I can earn more. Side jobs are prohibited here. Then you must keep this a secret, okay? I see you are trying to use this as an excuse to get close to me. But you are not my type. Do you want me to buy you a mirror as well? I'm speechless. He is one of a kind. I've never met such a person before. Security of the country's communications network. It's composed of people with international Master and Doctoral degrees. Don't even think of underestimating the importance of martial arts simply because you don't understand it as well as we do. Ah... really... Security guards are part of the Department of security. I can't let you continue teasing me. I will not allow you do things that only pleases you. Your physical condition is similar to the one of dark horse. Looks like the dark horse is going to fall. Just tell me your account, okay? I already said there's no need to. No, I definitely must pay you back. Why are you so stubborn? Because that is the price that saved my father. To me, he is the most precious person. That is why I can't just accept it. Even if I may suffer and feel tired, it is something that I must do. Quickly tell me your account, so that I can pay you back. Still being stubborn. All right. Will it be fine if I just give it to you? Then we have a deal. A contract? Didn't you say that you will definitely pay me back? No need to look to know that you still want to be a driver. Why don't you just be my driver? I'm not that familiar with South Korea. You can also help me run errands. I'll pay you 25 000 Won to be my driver and also to run errands. Two hundred times should be enough for a total of five million Won. Two hundred times? You don't want to? Then don't repay me. Why so urgent? Where do I need to sign? It won't be easy. Even if it's going to be tiring, I will not give up. Over there. - President? - Now? This is the graduate from MIT, Dr. Lee Yun Seong. Information and Communication sector's dark horse. (Dark horse - is a term used to describe a little-known person.) I heard that you also got an invitation from United States. Why did you choose to come to South Korea instead? Money? My father has earned a lot. He will definitely let me inherit it. So I don't feel the need to serve the United States. So, you are a patriot. Mr. President, being under your service is a big honor, and it can't be compared to any other thing. Very good. We are counting on you to do your best in the national communication network sector. I'll do my best. These are the new bodyguards, Kim Na Na and Shin Eun Ah. Bodyguard Kim Na Na is 27 years old and is a 4th Dan in Judo. Bodyguard Shin Eun Ah is 24 years old and is a 5th Dan in Taekwondo. I already said I don't need bodyguards. President. Please be with Mr. Lee, he is waiting for you. All right. My child is stubborn, sorry to trouble you all. Just treat her as your sister. If you need to teach her a lesson then do so. I will do well, President. I will do my best. Okay. Because she had to repeat a year, she's a bit sensitive when it comes to school. So please be a little more understanding. Don't hand in your letter of resignation, okay? Yes. That Dr. Lee Yun Seong. Since you've studied in United States, your English must be really good. My English is rather poor. You be my tutor, okay? Chief, can you tell me the business plan? Oh, okay. Let's go. Both of you, do a good job. Wow, how can there be such a man? ! Eonni, you saw it, right? He totally ignored me. (Eonni - older sister) Tutor you in English? With his ability, I'm afraid that he can teach people to become English poets. English poet? I'm just saying. Let's get along well from now, for mutual benefits. Repeat student? In the future it's tutorial, Blue House, tutorial, Blue House. It's quite simple. That way of thinking doesn't make much sense, does it? I'll make you understand how you should do your job. Would you like to work overtime on your first day? How was your first day at work? Ah... Cheong Wa Dae is leading the world when it comes to IT. (Note: IT - Information Technology) First of all, I want to tell you about the investigation I did on Mr. Lee Kyeong Wan. Lee Kyeong Wan is in the country now for a meeting with his members. He has participated in various voluntary activities to improve his image. A significant amount of his supporters consists of women. He is now the chairman of the Committee of the transportation construction. From my source, I know that the approval of his maritime project was bribed. He is now being investigated. I checked with his lover. It seems that the government's side also got some money. He abandoned his former members who at least had ethic values. Just get rid of him. Why aren't you responding? There's something I don't understand. You said you wanted me to eliminate 5 persons? Why are you only telling me about Mr. Lee Kyeong Wan? Among the 5 individuals, I understand Mr. Lee Kyeong Wan the most. As long as those 5 forget about the incident, it will be all right. What about Lee Kyeong Wan? Stay close to Lee Kyeong Wan. The other four will expose themselves. So first we eliminate Lee Kyeong Wan and let the remaining four individuals show themselves. I understand, but why send me to Cheong Wa Dae? This, I will let you know in the future. When you begin your plan, As long as you believe in me, it is enough. I will use my plan to eliminate them. In a way that it will be unforgivable by others. Really? You also have thoughts. I will follow you from the side. I will try to track the source of the maritime construction account. Go to the assistant Officer's wife account. Find out if Mr. Lee Kyeong Wan used her to cover up his construction plans. I've already told you who is behind the maritime construction. You haven't seen the invoice, have you? A few days ago I wrote this down in a rush. That... That can be written any time when there is mutual trust. Investigator Jang. Proceed with the source of the maritime construction research. And prepare the arrest warrant. That's great! I will prepare the arrest warrant for Investigator Jang. Who permitted the arrest? Lee Kyeong Wan has become very powerful. He is immune from prosecution. Who is the one leading this legislation? He took bribes from shabby third-class companies. Isn't catching such corrupt people the work of a prosecutor? I can't approve that. If you really want to arrest him, then show me the evidence. Due to that shabby construction work, the support pillar broke, leading to death of personnel. Those families are homeless. How can we just sit by... Didn't I ask you to find the evidence? These are very serious matters. How can you be called a prosecutor? =Seoul's Prosecutors did not find any evidence against Mr. Lee Kyeong Wan.= =I must gather evidence to bring justice to everyone.= Didn't that person used to... First have a chat with me. Do you know this person? No, I just saw him. How did you know my name? This ajussi! Really... So that's why he was after Mi Jin? He has personality. Excuse me, you are... Department of Seoul's District Public Prosecutor, I'm Prosecutor Kim Yeong Ju. Prosecutor Kim Yeong Ju wants to wrap round one's finger. That's why you came to my house. I always envied Kim Jong Sik for having a son like you. You even rejected my calls, so I personally came to talk with you. Who permitted you to be so offensive, the law should take care of a person like you. Don't you know? Threatening me, is a big mistake. Me? It's for the country and the people. And also, there isn't any evidence. People who believe in democracy are ignorant, who does not know that. They rack their brain to prevent insincere people to come into power, like me and my party. But why did you provoke me? Even though the objective is a good one, It's still not right if the chosen method is wrong! The moment I fall will mark the end, the death of democracy in the Republic of South Korea. Sea fishing is the latest method for money making. The dates were deleted from the registers and I couldn't find any record. You are really ambitious! Do you no longer want to be the chief prosecutor? Don't you want to do it anymore? Your personality is not suitable for being a prosecutor. I've been your fathers' best friend for 40 years. I'm ashamed that you're my father's friend. What? Do you really think your father is a saint? You... who are you? Bodyguards, bodyguards! Dad. I'm hoping to become a President's bodyguard like you were. In the future it surely will happen, right? I will do well, right? I just know that father would say something like that. Mom, the rest I don't know, but I'll surely apply BB Cream and lip balm, so don't worry. Good night. Not looking for Da Hye today? -= Application content in the East: Eastern social welfare applicants are declared in the East. = =Application content in the East: Eastern social welfare applicants are declared in the East.=- Application content in the East? Sunshine Welfare. Application content in the East? Sunshine Welfare. 10 million Won. "Hi, have you ever been abroad?", someone asks you. We can use present perfect to talk about our past experiences. [school bell rang] Okay class, we're done for today. What do you think you're doing? I... I just want to take my notes back. Eonni, what are you doing? (Eonni - older sister) Sorry. Are you scared? If I only knew, I wouldn't lend it to you! Do I have to make it more obvious? The President is my father! It's not me! Da Hye! Just now, sorry about it. This is my first time as a security guard. When my father became President, I have expected these things to happen. So I've never had any friends. Take these. They should be suitable for you. Now, I'm going to the nightclubs. You can't wear guard clothes when you go inside, right? I certainly don't want to show any surprising flaws. We will be going to Jiaye Ban. Ah.. noisy! What is this? I think I might as well go to Provincial Office work. Just go then. You will just waiting for sleepy children, right? It might be more tiring. It's better here! We will not fall asleep here! Didn't you say there's no point protecting the president's daughter? It's very annoying coming here. I know you enough. I'm going to the bathroom. Watch her closely. I think she will dance until she slips off. Okay. Today, we're also going to a Hotel, right? But... You didn't meet with the old man recently? The days you did not meet him, made me very happy too. We broke up already. Maybe something has happened. Even his mobile number has changed. He should have contacted me. What? Broke up already? Why? Weren't you allowing me to sort out my relationship? The case is... Now that I think you aren't popular amongst the guys, I've lost interest. In just one moment my taste changed. What? Let's break up too. Really, Eun Ah... No matter what the event is, how can she apply it so thickly? You just want to play with me, right? You take me for fun! I said, you played me for fun, didn't you? You don't keep your word, you bastard smelly man! Why are you late? I've been waiting for you. You actually dare to cheat in front of me. Bastard! Hey. Is your head messed up? So I have to spell it out now? I don't like you. Bastard! Miss Kim Na Na. Hey. Miss Kim Na Na. She completely lost her spirit. Here. Thank you for the kiss, agent. What is this? Money. There are several zeros on it right? Here, 1 million Won. Good bye. Does it hurt? You have thick skin like walls, so it shouldn't hurt. For medical costs, right? Hey, Shin Eun Ah. What? President's daughter disappeared? No, she did not come here. Okay, I will search for her. I will also go to look around again. I'm leaving first. It's still my official duties. Go there and look around. Miss Kim Mi Jin! Oh, you are... You okay? Wait a minute. I'm with the Seoul District Prosecutors Special Forces. Prosecutor Kim Yeong Ju. I'm not a pervert. Seoul District Prosecutors Special Forces? Is it true? There has been too many impostors recently. It's true. But this time what are you working as? This dress... Not working anymore. I'm currently working as a country official, I'm afraid I can't say more. A country official? Can it be you're a police woman? That is also a secret. I'm in a hurry to find someone. I'm sorry. That... The woman who was with you the last time you interfered, Where did you take her? Da Hye! Do you know how to contact her? Da Hye! Da Hye! Are you calling for the President's daughter? Oh how come you...? Just saw her in a ceremony before. I just saw her go to that side. It should be okay now. Let's leave. Why... do you plan to leave now? Go where? I came out because I have a headache. Let's go inside now. I really appreciate your help. If it wasn't for you... Just thinking about it is scary. That's right. That woman just now, her contact method, Maybe that unlucky person will know. Unlucky person? Yesterday, did you or didn't you lose her? We lost her. I heard you were doing well in training. If this continues, how can I let you be bodyguards in the US? What did I tell you? I said her character is really different. Don't tell me you didn't know what that meant! We will note that. For her protection, intervals should be avoided and she should be followed closely. Maybe you guys think you should not be blamed and I should pity you because you are young. But, her father is the president. =There's a call.= =There are two messages.= For you. Hey, it's cold. Then do you want me to put some boiling water into the thermos? You should wait for me. How far away are you from the office to here? Here. Stamp it. You take the stamp, I'll keep the book. Everytime I run an errand, you stamp one. It'll be completed after 200 stamps. You won't simply alter it, won't you? But what if you also have exact same stamp? Then how about you hold onto the book as well? I've already set up all the pages. You got the stamp so you can't back out now. If that stamp is that important, Why didn't you just accept the check yesterday? I'm telling you, do you think money can solve everything? About the kiss... don't you think you should apologize for that? The kiss? Hey, its only a hello. If an apology is not enough, you'll get rid of me, right? You're just using me, aren't you? Thanks to you, I wouldn't have to sit on the floor as well. What's wrong? It's not like it was your first kiss? You. Could it be... Is it really like that? Really? Ah... please get it stamped quickly. Really very unlucky. Overarm throw. From the side and below the armpit. Lift to the side of the arm. Bend your knee, exert force using the waist, thus lowering the center of gravity. Try again, okay? Hey. Can't you be more gentle? Practicing on it now. Where exactly are you looking at? Acting in such a perverted manner. Pervert? I'm really speechless. I'll see you on Thanksgiving, you set a date. Tell me honestly... It's your first kiss, right? What did you say? Are you not speaking formally anymore? Listening to the President's introduction, it seems you're younger than me. Instructors should teach students to be honorable. But it did not work. Dr. Lee. I'm not sure... You saw it, right? Completely defeated. What defeated? She fell on her own account. She tripped that's why she fell. I thought you flipped her. Come don't pretend you're in pain. Hurry get up. I'm not pretending to be in pain. Dr. Lee. At that time, that woman. Where is she? How do you contact her? How did you know I'm here? I cannot reveal anything, for the sake of protection. If I kept the names of women I spent the night with, my phone would need more memory. What? I won't be meeting her in the future, so why would I keep her phone number? Such a player. You really are the one, really unlucky. Could it be that... You like that woman, don't you? Your tastes are very unique! Kim Yeong... My name is Kim Yeong Ju. She's related to a case I'm working on involving Mr. Lee Kyeong Wan. You, really don't know? I don't know. Okay. Fine? Work hard. Where is this woman hiding? Excuse me! Where are you going? I see you're limping. The clinic doesn't have X-Ray, so I'm going to the hospital. Wait for me a moment, I'll quckly bring my car. Get in the car. I don't want to. I'll clean up the mess I made. Hurry! Get in the car. I will take her, just go. Her leg is like that, because of me. What's wrong, you're not getting in? Looks like I have to go in his car. Don't eat bread Mi Jin, or you may trigger your allergies! Please eat your meals when you are at Sunshine Welfare! Sunshine Welfare? Why are you telling her to not eat that? She is allergic to flour. If she eats foods containing flour, she'll have reactions. This time the infection got into her trachea which is making her show signs of asthma. It is extremely dangerous. Because she's on welfare, she doesn't have to worry about the hospital fees. Welfare? They're not on it. I don't have a lot of time, so let's hurry. They're not on welfare. I think the nurse was misinformed. Do you know those children? They live in the basement of my apartment building. It's them, please stop the car. What's wrong? Hey, you were told to not eat food having flour. Why are you still eating that? Hey! What are you doing? Chase after them! Why do I have to chase them? Hurry! Didn't you both hear that she can't eat bread? Are you okay? Did you get hurt? Go. Are you all right? My bread! My bread! How was it? They just think about eating, and don't even see a car coming. How do parents teach them? The reason I asked to see you is that, next month there will be personnel changes. Were you aware? Please help me. I believe you are the only member that can help me. Am I? I thought you had backups, aside from me, since you have control over the 3 billion Won welfare assets. You seem different. It's... a little difficult. Since civilians are complaining that the children are starving, we'll just have to work harder. There must be a way. Just a bunch of numbers, nothing difficult. Not like it's never been done before right? I'll just believe you. Go on. Thank you, Yun Seong. Oh, is your injury hurting? Wh-what are you doing? Really, I'm fine. Put me down. Really, there's nothing wrong. Put me down. You can put me down now. How come it's so high? What is this, graffiti? My height measurements. From when I moved here at 7 years old, until I was 17. My father measured my height there. On the first day of each month, we always did that. I've come this far, at least give me some porridge. You really don't know the etiquette? Where did your mother go? All right, I will find food to eat by myself. I'm very hungry. Is there ramen? What are you doing? Why are you looking through others belongings? It's here. Do you want to eat as well? Shall I cook for two? Looks delicious. This kimchi is like art work! Don't spill it. That way the tablecloth must be replaced. You should have thrown it away earlier. It's already become like this. Just buy a new one. This tablecloth is the only one in the world. My mother sewed the table cloth to fit the table my father made. Then ask her to sew another one. Is collecting red stickers your hobby? Here, there, almost everywhere. Why did you tear it down? That... you really don't know, so that's why you ask me? If I knew, why would I ask you? You should also know that my dad... has been in the hospital for ten years. My mom was there as well, and died because of the accident. The bank said they would take household appliances. That's why they stuck it there. But now I have a job to pay off the debt. The heavens must be saying that everything will be fine. Nuna! Nuna! (Nuna - older sister) Who is it? My sister is acting very strangely, she can't breathe. How can that be? Put her on oxygen, and inject her with epinephrine. Yes. Does she have asthma? I'm not sure, but she is allergic to flour. She ate food containing flour today. It's possible that her allergy caused anaphylactic shock. Her blood pressure is 70/40, and her pulse is only 41. Her oxygen saturation is only at 70%. Nuna, Nuna, Mi Jin Noona... (Nuna - older sister) Then we'll leave it to you, Doctor. Let's not be too worried, let's go out and wait. Oh, why is there such a thing! Kim Na Na, can't I go first? What did I do? I don't know them. Do you think I'd ask you to bring me here if my leg didn't hurt? Ah... seriously. Mi Jin! What if your father comes back late? You should clean the house. Make some food to eat with your brother. You clearly knew that flour would cause problems, so why did you still eat bread? Eonni, you don't know what happened. Our water and gas were cut off. What? What about Ajussi...? He left home over ten days ago. So you two are alone... Ah, I'm almost going crazy. Then why not go to the orphanage to eat? Why eat bread? What if our friends find out that we're on welfare? They'll make fun of us and call us beggars. Instead of everyone treating us like beggars, we'd rather starve and eat bread or noodles. It's better to starve than to be pitied. Anything is better than being called a beggar! Sleep. How can you make a sick child cry? Oh, what bad luck is this! If there was nothing wrong with my leg, I wouldn't have asked you to come, so stop complaining! I hate places with no beautiful girls the most! You're using your leg injury as an excuse to order me around. Aren't you going to give me some sort of stamp? The welfare office says that they don't have an application for the children. They said that the children cannot be added to the current waiting list, so they are currently starving. The staff responsible aren't available at the moment. Could you please wait a moment? What are the children's names? Song Mi Jin, and Song Do Jin, living in Hongji-dong. From this information, they have already been registered for the meals. It's from Sunshine Welfare. Sunshine Welfare? Because the children are registered, there's a mark here. Check it out. 11 million Won is transferred to this account every month. Ah, Shin Jae Dong! From the information I see, they already received money for food. Why are they still saying they're starving? How is it possible? They probably spent the money somewhere else, that's why they're saying they're hungry. The children say they do not want to be treated as beggars, so they don't want to take it. Children these days really like to lie. Don't be fooled. There are many children like this, who lie and instead spend their money at the internet café. What if it is you? If it was you, would you choose to starve or to play games? What? ! You! Who are you? What are you doing? You... you! Me? I hate seeing children go hungry. The people have paid so much taxes. I want to know why children are still starving. That... what is that? Are you implying that I pocketed the money? I'm not sure who is lying. This is really strange. I said that you're the one. No matter what, please get them corrected after your confirmation. I need to use the restroom. -=Next Episode Preview=- If you betray me, you must give up your political dream. So you can't betray me. You must properly punish Lee Kyeong Wan. Who are you? Just a unemployed person. What does Yoong Sung want to do? You don't know how to make people happy. You cannot deceive my heart. How come you're meeting with that kind of guy? That's what I don't understand, Withdraw from this plan. When I get back I'll do it on my own. SRT softsub created by Ahoxan on: Thu Jul 2823:15:032011 Lee Yoon Sung, My father... Please forgive him. I'm sorry. Kim Young Joo. Kim Young Joo! Kim Young Joo! If you want to see the classified documents, come to the Seoul junkyard - City Hunter. Father, why did you do that? Why did you have to lie and tell Kim Yong Joo to go there? This Republic of Korea Prosecutor wanted to know the truth... I was just helping him. Do you know? The person who killed the innocent Kim Young Joo... is no one else but you, Father. Even if someone commits no sins, that person can die at anytime. Just like my colleagues did. Now, that Cheon Jae Man will die by my hands. Let's go! So you want to smuggle your way out. The punk who's smuggled himself out knows what that feeling is like. You've... already ruined me. Exactly what do you want? Your life. Back then... I had no choice. You're saying you had no choice back then? You don't have a choice now either... you have to die. No! No! NO! Don't come. Don't come. Don't come. Don't come. Don't come. Don't come! Don't come. Don't come. I beg of you! Please save me! I beg of you! I... I... Please save me... The classified document is in the car crusher at the junkyard. Lee Yoon Sung, You reveal it. Kim Young Joo! Did you find it? Upon the terrorist bombing attack at the Aung Sung Mausoloeum by North Korea. It was asserted that the North needed to be punished. A special task was formed by selecting 21 agents experienced in anti-North missions. And their mission was to enter Pyeongyang City. Even though they successfully killed 7 generals in the North Korean Army. From inside their promised home-bound submarine belonging to the Republic of Korea's navy. Sniper shots killed them. The people who planned and implemented this mission are as follows... Lee Kyung Wan. If I don't, someone else would take the money away anyway. I'm the one who's been trying to protect democracy in this country! Why? Hey! Turn it off! Seo Yong Hak. In return... I need to receive a 20% comission. Look here! Turn it off right now! Everyone, don't believe what you see on television! Kim Jong Shik. The City Hunter stole our college operational fund and in order to amp up his fame... He distributed the funds to our students. Guilt? Forgiveness? Surrender? Forget all that! Don't come any closer! Cheon Jae Man. City Hunter is not a hero. He is a criminal who betrayed this country. Choi Eung Chan. In the end... this is what it comes down to? Cheon Jae Man's blood... Did you wipe it off well? Kim Young Joo's blood too... You should wipe it off as well. The one who killed Kim Young Joo was Cheon Jae Man. Did you know? You're no different from Cheon Jae Man. He didn't kill those agents in the special task force himself either. He merely borrowed the hands of others. You dare put me in the same category as Cheon Jae Man? ! The last person to be punished. Is President Choi Eung Chan. The cruelest revenge you talked about... Was it this? Making me kill my real father by my own hands. You've had quite a lot of fun these past 28 years. Taking me away from my mom... Making me believe someone else is my real father... Now, you're telling me to take revenge on my real father? That revenge... I don't think I can do it. Is it because he is your father by blood? No. After becoming close to him, I saw he was an amazing President. That amazing President you talk about... Do you think he really got to that seat cleanly? Choi Eung Chan... I look forward to seeing your expression when you find out what he's really like. Don't look forward to seeing my expression. Things won't happen the way you want. What Father wants... That won't happen. The blood of those two people... You're going to have to clean it for a while now. Please don't steal our subs and I hope you enjoy the rest of the episode! I, Seo Yong Hak... Now in front of the people. In front of all the citizens... To have to reveal the truth... I do with my deepest apologies. However, Because the citizens deserve to know, I have gathered up my courage and I now stand here. The next person the City Hunter is after. Is President Choi Eung Chan. Because of the sweep mission 28 years ago. Assemblyman Lee Kyung Wan, Chairman Kim Jong Shik, Chairman Cheon Jeon Man and I, all of us, were scapegoats of revenge. However! The person who directed the Sweep Mission 28 years ago... is now the current President, President Choi Eung Chan. He personally planned it... and personally implemented it. Director! Seo Yong Hak said the President planed it! The sweep mission involved 5 people but he still didn't disclose the details. President Choi Eung Chan Emergency Press Conference. Why was the sweep mission set up? It's not something I know of (or familiar of) Is it really true that in '83 November you did not direct this plan? That's right. Former member of the supreme council, Seo Yong Hak said that... the City Hunter's last target was the President. I don't know under what motivated him to say that. Today, the press conference will end with this. Just one more question. A Seoul Special Investigation prosecutor was looking for the 1983 classified document and died while doing so, did you know that? The person who planned the Sweep Mission... is the current President... President Choi Eung Chan! He planned all this and.. Is this true? Is it really the President? The President? ! Then to take the President down... You purposely spread bribes around him to make him look corrupt? Are you afraid? Just please bring back honor to my dead brother. Shaking the nation... Is something that I don't want I'm just asking to bring back honor to those dead soliders! And... Please let's end it all, General. General! Young Joo... Why did this happen? Young Joo ssi... Bad punk. I told him not to run around the scene by himself so many times.. He never even listens to his director. Bad punk. I didn't even know it was about his father's case and blamed him for giving me too much work... And vented my anger at him. I'm sorry Prosecutor. Prosecutor, I'm so sorry. You, dead or alive, you're still like my son. What you couldn't finish, I'll do it for you. The people who made you like this... I'll catch all the bastards who did this to you and feed them prison rice. The justice that you always wanted... As long as I am still wearing a prosecutor's clothes... I'll do everything to preserve it. Choi Eung Chan. Why would you you come here? ! Our Prosecutor... became like this because he was following you. Right? City Hunter! It's you! At the site... Because he was fearlessly running around trying to catch you. Our prosecutor became like that! You killer! Hey! By any means... I will catch you! I promise you, I will catch you! Hey! Let go. Let go! Seriously! Aish I came because we lost a precious prosecutor, but I think I should just go I found that Chairman Cheon Jae Man and President Choi Eung Chan have something going on. After the President assumed office, Hae Won got the bid to construct the bridge over Minja Expressway. For that, there was a controversy over the favoritism. Right before the presidential election, Haewon moved a pile of money. And that was used for presidential election. And that contract was the payback. The City hunter... is you! He recklessly ran around trying to catch you. Our prosecutor... became like that because of you! You killer! Entered the country on April 13, 2011. On May 2nd, he came to work in Network Security and Communication in the Blue House. When the Blue House's IP was used during the Lee Kyung Wan incident, I met Professor Lee Yoon Sung in this room. When the Blue House's IP was used to hack the police CCTV system, Prosecutor Kim Young Joo came. He was even there in the library looking for the Blue House Security Agent Album from 83'. Is it Lee Yoon Sung? Seoul Prosecutor's Office's Investigator Jang Pil Jae is here. Okay. Let him in. Prosecutor Kim Young Joo was investigating two people he thought might be the City Hunter... Lee Jin Pyo and professor Lee Yoon Sung. Lee Jin Pyo and Lee Yoon Sung? Lee Jin Pyo was part of the Special Forces team. And before 1983 he was definitely a bodyguard at the Blue House. However, he went missing after that. So Prosecutor Kim Young Joo thought he definitely has something to do with the Sweep Mission. He now uses a new identity as Steve Lee, a Korean living in America. But that's actually fake. He was a drug lord in the Triangle... although it's not confirmed yet. Triangle. Then Lee Yoon Sung? As expected, another Blue House bodyguard in 1983 who came from the Special Forces named Park Mu Yeol, and a woman named Lee Kyung Hee gave birth to him. Park Moo Yeol and Lee Kyung Hee's...? From what I found out... Lee Jin Pyo took Lee Yoon Sung when he was 1 month old and raised him in the Triangle. Wait. I think the president noticed something. He asked the security department personnel for your personal identity files. Uploading pictures onto your blog... have you practiced a lot? I uploaded the orchid I drew, and I tried uploading a video, too. Can you look at it for me? Did you also watch the press conference? Yes. I saw it. Mister President, I will ask you one question only. The things you said at the press conference, are they true? It is true. This seat is a seat that forces choices to be made. On my own strength, it is impossible to resolve all the problems, so I decided to focus on two items. The citizens' health and education. Not allowing privatization of health-care to threaten their health. And to not allow the youth to have their rope to learning be cut by skyrocketing tuition costs. I will see these protected no matter what. In a few days, I will see that my Private School Reform Bill gets passed through the National Assembly. Is that for the great cause too? Even if the means and method are wrong? Hey, Eun Ah ssi. I guess you're on duty? Have you been well? Yes, I'm doing well. Where is Lee Yoon Sung? He still hasn't gotten off work? He'll come, He's usually a busy person. But.. It's hot. Why are you wearing long sleeves? Is it hot over there? Our house is usually cold so you can't really wear short sleeves by the way, this house is under my name. What? No, well... just think about it when you're bored. You came? Yes. Na Na is here. Na Na? I heard from ahjumma... that President Choi Eung Chan is Lee Yoon Sung's real father. The person who raised you... he's too cruel. He took you away from ahjumma. Intheend,itwastomakeyourrealfatherlikethisright? Because of Lee Yoon Sung's revenge, everything... Lee Kyung Wan. Seo Yong Hak. Kim Jong Shik. Cheon Jae Man. They were all corrupt. If they were not corrupt, I would have forgiven them. If the President is corrupt, too, are you going to punish him? If he is corrupt, That-- does it have to be you who does it? He's your father. To your real father, how can you... Kim Young Joo was faced with the same. Because it was his father, he concealed and covered it. But, was that really good for his father? I'm the President's bodyguard. Maybe... like when I was guarding Seo Yong Hak, we might meet like that again. I hope, that you won't do anything you will regret. You know Assemblyman Lee Young Taek, who is the highest council member of Segyere Party, right? Lee Young Taek? The prosecution is investigating him on a bribery charge linked to Haewon's Cheon Jae Man for the privatization of health-care, right? He's from the same ruling party as President Choi Eung Chan, but those two are political opponents. Without councilor Lee Young Taek, it will not be easy to get the Private School Reform Bill to pass. His side is against it for now, so the votes of the lesser councilmen from his faction are essential. That means President Choi Eung Chan will persuade Lee Young Taek somehow. Okay. I will find out more. You came, Mr. President. We've finished the security inspection within the restaurant, and we found nothing suspicious. Assembly Member Lee Yong Taek is waiting inside. The bodyguards can rest outside for a while. We can't do that, Mr. President. With the previous Guest Hall terrror incident at the Blue House too. We need to guard you nearby. Just 30 minutes is enough. 30 minutes is enough. Mr. President... I will cut to the chase. Please help me pass the Private School Reform Bill. If I help you Mr. President, what can you do for me? I will arrange it, so that you will not be summoned by the prosecution office. After the incident with Assemblyman Lee Kyung Wan, the National Assemby is reviled. With complaints from the citizens so adamant, the National Assembly will not come forward for you. But I understand you and Chairman Cheon Jae Man agreed on an alliance. Public sentiment is public sentiment. However, I will help you. Thank you. For us ruling party members to have friction... would only benefit the opposition party, right? I will use my power to help you pass your Private School Reform Bill as well. Then, I will leave believing in the President. I am under your care. How come you are here? I didn't know you were so proficient in making deals, Mr. President. If one more person can go to college with this legislation, I won't have any regrets. Didn't you once say your position was to serve? When did that seat become the seat of deal-making? When you participate in politics, there are times when you need to justify for the cause. When you ordered the lives of 21 men to be oxidized, it was for the great cause, too, I suppose. A lot of people want the Private School Reform Bill because tuition is expensive; however, The National Assembly that makes laws... those seats are filled by college presidents and professors and department heads, along with their in-laws and their relatives. Do you think they can be easily persuaded? I have no other way. No way... Let me ask you one question. Is it okay for an orphan to steal sohe has food to eat? You cannot coerce sacrifice for the great cause. You cannot cover up corruption, for the great cause. The classified document that's sealed until 2030... I have it. The decision you said you wouldn't regret... I'll make you regret it. This is my... great cause. President, are you okay? Yeah... I was just about to get up. Agent Kim Na Na, what's going on? It's nothing. It had already been 30 minutes and the President still hadn't come out, so... Right, let's leave. Bear Na Na. You say you're a journalist? I was the one in charge of the money during the presidential election, I've been living away from government life in order to avoid trouble for Mr. President. How did you find me? I heard Mr. President put a lot of effort into making his campaign a clean campaign. Though I have some guesses on how he came up with the election money, but I don't know anything. He said he would take responsibilities for it later on, so he managed that money himself. Though he's such a thorough person, he probably kept a record about it. A record? Yes, since he's someone who writes a diary and keeps a record of office spending as well. There must be a ledger book somewhere. Maybe in his private residence somewhere. Da Hye, after she heard about Prosecutor Kim Young Joo, she's been laying in bed without eating or drinking. She's not even going to the clubs that she likes so much... Miss Da Hye's not going to clubs? Last year, even though she failed to get into college, she still went to clubs all the time.. That's why I'm worried like this. What should I do about our Da Hye? Just leave her be. After going through a pain that like, Miss Da Hye will come to be mature too. I'm telling you, I'm confused whether I'm her bodyguard or her personal secretary. Should I try to get her to get on a blind date? A blind date's a blind date, but take care of yourself first. Check out what kind of gazes are coming your way from around your surroundings. Whoever's around you and how they might feel. It's like that. Loving eyes. Well, I... can't say these words well but... I love you. I... A tall and good-looking guy said he was a reporter and asked about the election campaign money? Right, you answered well. Yeah, stay well. After I leave office, let's go hike up the mountain together. My youngest daughter bought me a jacket for mountain-climing too. Right. He'll be coming soon then. Though I hope that's after the bill is passed through. Why do you look so weak? Eat some of the chicken that you love and be strong! Prosecutor Kim Young Joo is so pitiful. I know Chairman Cheon Jae Man too... That person did that... There is no trustworthy person in this world. Everything is pitiful. Everything is scary. Unnie take this. What? This is a man's? Give it to Go Ki Joon! Go Ki Joon! ? Did you change to Go Ki Joon! ? Unni... do you not have any sense? You and Go Ki Joon go well together. Me and Go Ki Joon ssi? You two date. I came for Da Hye's tutoring. Go in. Is this what you came to find? You really are fearless. Even entering the President's study. It seems you don't know when to stop. Stopping... Doesn't quite suit me. Let me ask you one question. What is the reason that you're doing this? Because of trust. Trust that the politicians the people voted for will uphold their integrity. Trust that the newly entering soliders believe their nation will protect them. Trust that college will build the kinds of talents needed for the new era. That the corporations, will be there, together with their laborers, through their pain and their growth. That trust. And also, those men who waited in Nampo Waters, trusting in the promise of their nation. The trust of 21 men. Guarding that trust. Is what I believe to be a great cause. The Sweep Mission 28 years ago... there's not a day that goes by that I have forgotten about it. How much Jin Pyo suffered, I know that very well. Take this. These are illegal campaign funds I received, while I was in politics. Do whatever you want. Whatever you do, I'll be grateful. Yoon Sung. You living like this, your father is sorry. Are you really... going to do this to the end? The person who's suffered and had the most difficult time is you, Lee Yoon Sung. Do you have to do it like this? There's no one else other than me... I have to do it. People's Daily. We shall now begin the voting on the 2011 Private School Reform Bill. The President planned the sweep mission? What? ... What, killing 21 men by the bullets of our own? Isn't this crazy! ? The president was the leader of the sweep mission? Does this make sense! ? These are records of Mr. President's political slush funds. Very detailed. With these named councilmen here. In order to pass the Private School Reform Bill. He even made a certain deal. This is breaking news. Run. Private School Reform Bill results. For: 228 votes. Against: 41 votes. Abstention: 5 votes. I pronounce that Private School Reform Bill is passed. It passed. Finally it's passed! Are you that happy? Of course, I'm happy. Agent Kim, you also relied on yourself to study, right? Yes... This is something that should have happened sooner. Come on in. Mr. President... Something big happened. President Choi Eung Chan's Use of Illegal Campaign Funds Revealed. President Choi Eung Chan... While he was trying to pass the Private School Reform Bill, He caused damaged to the separation of legal, administrative, and judicial powers. And not only did he shake the foundation of democratic society. The Sweep Mission in the past as well. He concealed it and deceived the citizens. Therefore, as a senior council member, I declare we can no longer entrust the affairs of our nation to him. President Choi Eung Chan... will be impeached! Mr. President... Congress has agreed on your impeachment. I couldn't protect you... I'm Sorry. It's okay... Actually, I feel free. It should've been sooner. It had to turn out like this. What is this? These people were asked to pass the Private School Reform Bill... and accepted bribes. Stand them up. Bring them in. It has been revealed that these Congressman accepted bribes in exchange for passing the Private School Reform Bill. Evidence has been found and an investigation is underway. It looks like he's going to be impeached. Those punks... Well, since they betrayed the citizens... Where are you going, Yoon Sung? I'm going to Father. Kim Na Na, you're on duty tomorrow, aren't you? Since we're in an emergency situation right now, be prepared for when a decision comes forth. Chief, I'm not on duty tomorrow. You are on duty. Did you get something wrong? I'm not. I wrote on my schedule... Mr. President's seven-day guarding schedule. Mr. President... Hello? ... What you need to take is not the people's judgement. You should receive my judgement. If you don't want to see any additional innocent sacrifices... don't block my way. The meeting is in two hours. Oh, Chief Park... Before that, an important guest is going to come looking for me. Without a bodysearch, just send him through to me. Yes, Mr. President. Also, I want to be alone for a while. But, we can't do that. Please, Chief Park. Since I have some things to think over by myself. I came here to see the President. Yes, he told me. He's waitng inside. Please enter. So you came. There's nothing for you to do any more. This isn't a place you should be at. I told you already I'll block you with my own hands. My revenge of 28 years... you can't block it. The type of revenge where I have to shoot my real dad. Do you think I could live well afterwards? Having the woman I love point a gun at me... Did you think it wouldn't matter to me at all? The dad who lost a leg for me. Having to shoot him... how would that make me feel? If you ever thought about me even once... I wanted you to stop. I, I just wanted to live a normal and happy life with Father. But. It was all a dream... If this is my destiny I'll end it with my own hands. No! Stop! Now just stop. Yoon Sung. Just stop now. Please, just put it down. I've been waiting. The life you promised me, I've come to get it. Agent Kim Na Na, I'm sorry. Protect the President! Drop your gun! Drop your gun! Dont move. If you try anything, this person dies first I'm the only survivor of the Sweep Mission, Lee Jin Pyo. Because of the revenge for my betrayed comrades... I killed Lee Kyung Wan and Cheon Jae Man with my own hands. Made Kim Jong Shik fall off. And sent Seo Yong Hak to the Prosecutor's Office. And now lastly, I will kill Choi Eung Chan. I am, City Hunter. D..a..d... Choi Da Hye's cafe latte. Wow! It's so pretty! Now you're becoming a great barista. Right? Unnie. Your dad passing away must be really hard. Your dark eye circles are going down to your chin. Huh? Cover it up a little before you head out the door. Hello! Da Hye! Na Na unni! You came. Did you finish the things for your dad well? Ah... well. It turned out like that! We are getting married! Didn't I say you guys suit each other well! Congratulations! Thank you! Na Na unni quit... and Lee Yoon Sung's not there either. The Blue House has become so tense... Well, but you said as long as you have me you'll always be happy. Ah that's why marriage... it's a really important decision. Take it back! Take it back, unni! Da Hye! If you guys are busy and can't come, I can send you guys my bank account number. You can put the wedding money in there! Be happy, Eun Ah. Umm, mother. When we go to the U.S., let's not use the name Madis Snack Shop. The name could be... DELICIOUS Korean Food. What did the former President say? That he was sorry... that he was thankful. And be happy. I used to work in the kitchen of an outgoing ship. As the kitchen head. The world of Korean food is daebak (great)! Do you know how to say daebak in English? Oh, Dae~bak! In 1983, twenty-one brave soliders sacrificed their lives for their country in carrying out a mission.Their honored names to be remembered forever. Lee Jin Pyo Park Mu Yeol. Take a deep breath. You're doing great. The child's heartbeat is weakening. One last time, push harder! If you can't do it, we'll prepare for surgery at once. Where is the father? No... he's not around. -= October 9th, 1983, Aung San, Burma. =- It's after 10 already, right? The President is a little bit late. Burmese Minister was late to escort him, so he is on his way with the senior official. Okay. All team, report on your situation. Drive away. Congratulations, it's a boy. =This is an urgent news flash report.= =Burma local time 10:28 a.m= Hold on. =The President attended the Aung San meeting that was later bombed.= =In the explosion 16 bodyguards and correspondents from our side were killed= =Four Burmese citizens died in the explosion.= =The President was scheduled to meet Aung San of Burma when the explosion incident occurred.= =In Aung San National Cemetery, Burma, a grand mourning ceremony was held= =We are immersed in an atmosphere of grief= This is crazy. It's only been a few days since the Soviet leader stepped down. The whole nation has been busily preparing for the funeral. The people are barely coping! The people that were caught, are people who were recruited to plant the bomb. In fact, the North Korean military reconnaissance team belongs to Bureau agents. Their task is to kill the President. They are initiating a war. How dare their country's leader do such a thing! Myanmar is recommending a diplomatic approach. To think such a thing can happen. This is a shame for our country. Both countries are now scrutinizing each other. What do you plan to do? I'm speechless. Well then, we'll attack too. Do you all agree? All right. Let's fight. Of course we must fight. No need to look at his face. Fine. Well, we'll just hit them then. The terrorist attacks on Aung San must be punished in the name of our country. Even the President is unaware of the plan. In South Korea, there are only five people who know about this. What's the plan? Infiltrate Pyongyang. And take the lives of 30 North Korean generals. Are you planning to go on the mission? I can't just give up. I will be the one going, you should quit. You're not alone now. Kyeong Hee. Mu Yeol. Must have been tiring alone, right? I'm sorry. Please hold this... This is our son, isn't it? Let me have a look at him. Oh, he's really handsome. Baby, I'm your father. I heard that you didn't come out quickly. Your mother worked so hard. Both of you, you are now new parents. Ms. Kyung, you've worked hard. Kid, she is your sister-in-law. Thank you for returning safely. I saw the news. You don't know how much I was worried. Don't worry, I'm all right now. Crazy guy! Why would my wife worry about you? I know that you're as strong as my husband. Ah, I'm broken-hearted! I need to get married this year at once. Well, take good care of sister-in-law. I'm leaving first. Hey wait. Let's go together. Hey. I've just arrived but I'm really sorry I have to go somewhere. Where? Park Mu Yeol! Give it a rest! But, I'll return as soon as possible. When will you come back? We'll give him a name when I get back, okay? When I return, we will give him a beautiful name. It's not a dangerous place, right? Don't worry. I will surely return to your side, and our son's side. Attention! -=Explosive expert: Sgt. Lee Min Gu.= =Remote Control Profile: Sgt. Song Ho Yeol=- -=Short Blade Expert : Cpl. Park Ji Gwon.=- Now for the National Security Protection Service deployment minister. He lives on 2nd. Floor, Cheolrima apartment No. 3 in Pyongyang City. Lee Min Gu. Yes, Lee Min Gu! Song Ho Yeol. Yes, Song Ho Yeol! The two of you go and sort it out. Finally, the Ministry of the People's Armed Guard Commander, Team Captain Oh Jong Man. Jin Pyo and I will be in charged of him. Stand at attention. Salute. You are all indeed worthy experts. As soon as possible, you're able to retrieve a group of spies to face North. Please send us out immediately tomorrow. Pyongyang is similar to South Korea. There's no need for us to continue training. I'm so proud for all of you. You're doing this for your country. I, Choe Eun Chan, no matter what assure you that even though your lives will be at risk, you will be able to complete the mission, and all return safely. We'll do this as men, as compatriots, as seniors. I guarantee that to all of you. We also guarantee that. Their military identity tag is the same as before, no different at all. Let's see if we can collect the ID tags of the North Korean Army. You're joining this mission just to collect the enemy's identification tags? Starting tomorrow morning, we'll enter Pyongyang to complete the mission. We'll gather, on the day after tomorrow, in the morning at Nampo Port. We'll send a submarine to bring you back. I hope everybody can return safely. -= Pyongyang =- So, what is the matter? We don't have enough military support. The President didn't approve the plan. So, what's to be done with the people who were sent? This is a Benedict Andean blueberry wine. This drink is usually given by the President to entertain guests. I have to let you taste this. What? We should give up now. We should order them to retreat. We're already sending a submarine to Nampo Port. I'll go over there and talk to the President. Wait a moment. If we respond with force, When the time comes, we must be included within the Han peninsula. The South Korea, USA and Japan defense system white paper is very thorough. The attitude of the U.S is very tough. The President is also hesitant because of the negative comments of the people towards the anti-communists. So we must not use military force to oppose them. Then, what about the men we sent? Are we going to have them killed by our own people while they're on the other side of the border? Just look at it from this perspective. For the country and its people, sacrificing them... - That's impossible! We were all furious when they attacked us. How can you forget all things so quickly? We have the responsibility to bring them back here safely. What are their problems? Honestly, For Mr. President who has to hear people say he was elected with support... It's a great burden. Can you all be honest? -=National Security Planning Agency: Ministry of State Security, is the predecessor of the National Intelligence Services.=- The Ambassador, Minister of the NSP, Minister of National Defense, Finance Minister, All of you who are associated with this, are afraid to take responsibility. That's why you're like this. What did you say? Isn't what you said a little overboard? Don't tell me you still want to sacrifice the lives of 21 people? If this plan was made public, We might have to make bigger sacrifices. The four of us have discussed it already. There's just you left. Mu Yeol, wake up! You can't sleep! Mu Yeol! Mu Yeol! It's so cold, just leave me behind. The submarine is here. Hold on. What's the matter? They're shooting, why are they shooting? We're on the same side, so why? We're not enemies. Mu Yeol! Mu Yeol! I've been stabbed, I'm not going to make it. You've got to survive. I'll leave Kyeong Hee and my son in your care. You live on and take care of them for me. Kid. Mu Yeol! Mu Yeol! Mu Yeol! I love you, my friend. Mu Yeol! You're saying all of them sacrificed themselves? Right. The documents that are related to the raid, they've all been destroyed. The North Koreans sent a team. All the press people are missing. Their identity cards have been erased. For now, we are the only five people who know about this. We must all forget about it. Okay... And I also have a party to attend, so I'll leave first. Yellow Sea route near Incheon are filled with Chrysanthemums fields. Mountain path to Seoul are also full with Chrysanthemums. If you sniff it too much, it will smell sour. It seems that you have some conscience. And you also have the guts to keep our mens' identification tags? Do you think you can still live a peaceful life? I have come to take it. I'm sorry. We didn't really have any other alternative. I'm sorry. Twenty! Right in front my eyes, my fellow comrades were shot to death. It was hard enough fighting the enemies. I thought our allies came to rescue us. We... compared to the lives of twenty one, we had no choice but to choose the United States. They have nuclear weapons to protect us. This is to build a relationship between the Republic of South Korea and our stronger allies. They will become assets if we can use our allies' military powers to support us. You did that for political power? You know... We can sacrifice our lives for our country, but we definitely won't sacrifice our lives for political power. I thought the regime would support us on our mission. You're so lucky. You can just sit here and command others while we're sacrificing our lives. So what will you do now about all the lives that were lost? ! Kill me. Department Head? Are you there? These were captured by our spy satellite cameras. It's a public base on the Pacific Coast. We'll see if we can talk to the fighter jet pilots and get a report from them. Department Head? The wind is so strong, why did you open the window? - Because it was a bit stuffy. - I understand. Then I will leave first. "Twenty people were betrayed by their own country. I will definitely come to take it." My child! No, no, no, no! My child! My child! No... My child... No, don't. My child... Mu Yeol is dead. I will take the child and support him. Only without this child, can you find your own happiness. Start all over again. You must be happy. Silence that child, if you want to live! Mu Yeol, I took the child and I'll give him his name. Not as Park Yun Seong but as Lee Yun Seong. I will go on. This is the world's cruelest revenge, because that's the reason I survived. -=10 years later - The Golden Triangle, Northern Southeast Asia=- Boss, this man stole our drugs to sell. How do we deal with it? No. I've just come from work, actually! I just thought I'd... I'm trying to make my hair and coat sort of join. So we don't know where one ends and one begins? Like a sort of Camden owl. LAUGHTER Now then, where does your style come from? Em... And this sounds rude, but were you always like this? I guess so. My mum's quite stylish. Yeah. My dad used to be. In the '70s, he'd wear mental clothes. Like yellow flares and tops with stars on them, then he went quite straight in the '80s. You had young parents. Your mum was 18? Yeah, really young. So they were really cool and dressed like they were in Black Sabbath. Then all of a sudden in the '80s my dad got quite square. "That's enough of yellow flares. I'll just wear a shirt and some leisure trousers." He just stopped, but my mum carried on. Where was this? In South London. What was hilarious was they had this three-wheeler car called a Bomb Bug. An orange thing and the roof went up like that. So not only did they wear yellow flares and had a three-wheeled orange triangle car... I was just a laughing stock! It sounds like you grew up in a cartoon, didn't you? It was a bit like Roobarb and Custard, yeah. It sort of wobbled as well. They'd come in their triangle car. HUMS "Roobarb" THEME You have had a reputation as what I would call a party animal. Is that fair? I do like a party, yeah. Who doesn't? I've seen you photographed out and about on the Camden scene, staying up beyond midnight. Is this true? Ten past one. That's my record. Don't you feel terrible the next day? Yeah. You mean the day after the next day. The next day you're still up. CHEERING You feel good the next day. Well, what...what would a typical evening involve if I came along with you? If I rang and said, "Noel..." You pick it up by mistake. "It's Rob. Hi. You came on my show. "You said we could go out to Camden together. It's half six now. Em... "I've left it a bit late. I've just had my dinner. "Where shall we meet?" Where would we meet? I don't know... LAUGHTER In a forest. I'd send someone out for you. Now your new show is even weirder than the Boosh. Yeah. It really is. In a way. Oh, in every way. I wanted a slightly different image so I thought maybe Bollywood Elvis would be good. I'd get a butler, but he can be an anteater and... my best friend's got four arms. Is it the next step from the Boosh, would you say? I think for me. Julian wanted to go off and do some straight theatre and explore that. I wanted to get hold of the animation side of it. We'd the Moon and the 2D animation in the Boosh and I wanted to see how far you could take that. So the guy that I work with did the Moon and animation in the Boosh. And I met him at art school. The brief was to try to make the most psychedelic, weirdest show ever. You've fulfilled your brief. DOORBELL Oh! Noel, Noel... It's Noel's House Party! I wonder who THIS could be. CHEERING Hello! Look at you! Hello. ..Sarah Harding! Look at you. Hi. Look at this. You two know each other, I assume? Yeah, well, kind of. Yeah. What does that mean? We're passing ships. We've met a few times. You were on tour somewhere and we... Yeah. Yeah. And one time I don't remember. No, I don't. Yeah. It was a crazy night. LAUGHTER Ten past one, Rob! I've had similar experiences with Ronnie Corbett where the two of us are smashed off our tits. Literally no memory of what time we left the golf club. So it seems silly to ask you if you're a party girl. Don't you try to deny it! Slightly retired. I'm a country bumpkin now. You moved to the country. Is that a real thing? It's not like a stage! It's real. I've got a veggie patch and everything. A veggie patch? It's not a euphemism, Noel. So you're out in the country and you're acting more now. I am. Is that as big a thing as the music? I think music's my first love. I couldn't ever not do music. But acting, yeah, totally. Love it. I nearly wanted you. We had you in the top three for St Trinian's with Ricky from Kaiser Chiefs. Did he do it in the end? Yeah. You weren't available. LAUGHTER Cheers(! ) That was a narrow miss. Yeah. What did you do before you became fabulous? You were a beautician? I was a beauty school dropout. Oh, lovely. From Grease. Now you're getting down to my level. So that means you can look at people and make judgments. Be very honest. OK. Noel Fielding, Rob Brydon. Two out there guys. If you had to... Give me a minute. If you had to pick, if you had to single out one for being a little bit styly... Oh, I don't know. It depends whether I like smart guys or Camden guys. Suddenly there's a rivalry between us. I like a bit of both. Do you? Oh...! LAUGHTER Did I? I wasn't, was I? I just didn't imagine I'd be having a threesome with Rob Brydon. Of all the people! Please don't say it like it was a terrible thought. That superinjunction cost a lot of money. DOORBELL LAUGHTER It's Rhys Darby! Welcome. Wow! Rhys Darby, ladies and gentlemen. Have a seat. Hi! How are you? Rhys Darby from Flight of the Conchords. Now then, everybody tonight has come dressed up because it's party time. Are you a big partygoer? Oh, I'm king of the parties. Really? Not really. LAUGHTER Did you used to go...? Do you remember at the school disco at the end of the night, all having a great time, and then they'd play Happy Christmas (War Is Over)? # So this is Christmas... # And that was when all your mates would pair off with girls and I would be stood at the edge of the dance floor with my nose pressed against the window pane. A metaphorical window pane. Or were you one of the boys who managed to nab a girl for that important last dance/snog? Well, I'll admit I'm a keen dancer. And...and what I lacked in the initial, social, conversational period I would more than make up for once the song's come on. I really clear my own space. You can ask anyone and I am probably the hottest dancer that I know. Well, Rhys, I mean, we have a band. We have a rug. What a Christmas treat... What a treat! ..if you would bust some moves to give us a... CHEERING I mean, guys, anything. What tempo would suit you, Rhys? You want upbeat. They can do upbeat. They do nuclear. They go very fast. Have you got any Jive Bunny and the mastermixes? There he goes. FRANTIC MUSIC PLAYS Wow! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thank you! Are you on medication? LAUGHTER No. Everybody loves Flight of the Conchords and I loved Murray. Your character was sublime. Will we see more of him? Well... I would love to say yes and I certainly can't say no. I'd hate to think he wouldn't be done again. Was it something that the boys...? Do you need half an hour to catch your breath? Well, you saw what I just did! I did that and then straight away with another question! "Tell us about your mother." All right. The Conchords, it started off for most audiences here as a radio show. Yeah. Then it became the TV show for HBO and that took you to Hollywood. Yeah. How did that come about? We did the Conchords on HBO, so even that was very popular. It was on a cable channel, so there were so many millions of people that never saw it, but of course, when it came out on DVD, a lot of people saw it after that. On the one DVD? There's two DVDs now. You pass the DVDs around? We pass them round. Yeah. So all the cast and crew saw it. And then word got out, you see. It was big in the comedy circles. You're familiar with those circles. Yes, I am. We're going to talk more in a little minute, but just sit back and relax now and please welcome the very, very funny Charlie Baker! APPLAUSE Hello! That's very nice of you. That's enough. I might be rubbish! Hello, I'm Charlie Baker. I'm waiting for Jack Black to die. LAUGHTER I've only ever met a couple of very famous people. Jay-Z, Jay-Z, the world's biggest rapper, Jay-Z. I don't know about you, but if I see someone famous, I have a little voic in the back of my head that goes, "There's Jay-Z there. "There's Jay-Z, the world's biggest rapper. There he is. "Go and speak to Jay-Z. Go on. "Say something to him. Show him your cardigan. Do something." I've got to say something to Jay-Z, so I said this, ladies and gentlemen I said this to the world's biggest rapper. "Jay-Z!" LAUGHTER I went for a high five with the world's biggest rapper. I'm thinking "You look a right knob now! "You look an absolute penis here! He's not going to give you a high five." But he did. He gave me the high five Bang, yeah, pretty good! APPLAUSE Come here. Come here. Come here, look. Whoa! Feel pretty good now, don't you? It's in a sort of six degrees of separation way, right? You have just touched the hand that's touched the hand that has touched Beyonce's knockers. Yeah, pretty good, eh? Have another go. Go on, go on. Get lost, she's not a slag. She's not a slag. If you liked it, you should've put a ring on it. It's your own fault. I've been in pantomime, but the one thing I did learn, and I'm going to teach you tonight, is the three secret moves. There's three secret dance moves. They're brilliant. You'll go to any panto this Christmas or any am-dram show and you'll see these three moves. Here's the first move you require if you want to be in any amateur dramatics dance show - the side sway LAUGHTER The second one is a bit more difficult. It's the box step. LAUGHTER And the third one is my own personal favourite - the knee bounce. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE The reason they use these moves is because they work for any show tune at all. What was that? Luck Be A Lady, a bit of Guys And Dolls. # Luck be a lady tonight # Luck be a lady tonight # Luck if you've ever been a lady to begin with # Luck be a lady tonight... # APPLAUSE A bit of Oklahoma! Here we go. A bit of Rodgers and Hammerstein. # Oh, what a beautiful morning # Oh, what a beautiful day # I got a beautiful feeling # Everything's going my... # What's that? Christmas. Here we go. # Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way # Oh, what fun it is to ride on a one-horse open sleigh... # It's a bit camp, that one. Have a happy Christmas. I'm Charlie Baker. Good night! Thank you very much! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Charlie Baker! Thanks, Charlie. Now then, Rhys, do they have Christmas in New Zealand? We do. Yeah? We do, of course. Big Christmas, family? Yes, of course. It's like it is here. It's... It's very confusing in New Zealand on that side of the world because it's summer. Yes. As you can imagine, it's the opposite of what's going on here. It's the opposite of winter, isn't it? Yes. LAUGHTER And yet our culture is the same, so we get all the same Christmas songs and all the same sort of festive affair that you have here with the snow. Which makes it even more confusing. Exactly. So we have people that spray fake snow on all the windows and it's a bit sad. You have your own children now. Two, is that right? Do you put out a little carrot for the reindeer? Well, yes. I do that as well. We had to move houses because our first house didn't have any chimney and so the younger son Finn who was four at the time said, "Santa can't get here." So we had to shift. He's one of these kids that says, "There's no logical way Santa could get in here "and I'm going to miss out." We said, "He comes through the door of houses that don't have chimneys." "No, he doesn't." So we had to actually shift which was a shame because we had a great house. Now we've got a much smaller house, but it's got a massive chimney. He gets loads of presents, so he's happy. What people may not know about you, I was amazed to find out, is that you were in the New Zealand Army. Oh! APPLAUSE They don't believe it. What is the purpose of the New Zealand Army? Are you keeping Australia at bay? What does it do? It's a small army, but we do the same thing every army does, except, I guess... Look, when I was in there, there was a lot of rescuing sheep, to be honest. LAUGHTER We didn't fight in any conflicts in the last ten years. What was your role? Infantryman, paratrooper? Oh, no, I was a signaller. A signaller? So...beep-beep-beep. Yes, Morse Code. Beep-beep-beep, beep-beep-beep. Oh, thanks very much(! ) That's a bit rude! Doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, dee-dee, doo-doo-doo-doo! APPLAUSE DOORBELL LIVELY FOLK MUSIC APPLAUSE It's Angelos Epithemiou! Welcome. How are you? All right, come on in. Come on in. Thank you very much. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Angelos, please, have a seat. I will sit here, but I am not supposed to be anywhere near this woman. Why? I've taken out a restraining order on her because she will not leave me alone. What are you talking about? It's phone calls, it's faxes, it's emails. You have got to get it in your head it is never going to happen! APPLAUSE If she promises not to bother you, will you join us? Don't touch me! I won't. Now, I have to ask you... Sarah, Sarah... Let's not involve the authorities. You're winding me up. Whoa! The first thing I have to ask you is what's in your bag? Well, in the bag tonight, I've got all sorts of rubbish. I've got... I've got this which is me. So you don't get recognised? I just bung it on people's faces like that, then I've got some idea of what it's like to talk to me. LAUGHTER It's good fun. Now then, I know you through Vic and Bob. Yes. How are they? I don't know. I don't see them. We do not socialise outside of the show because I have not forgiven them for tricking me into doing it in the first place. How have you been celebrating Christmas? What would be a typical Christmas for you? I would celebrate Christmas usually with me family. With me mum and me dad and me four brothers - Agatheus, Agamemnon, Apostolos and Algerius, right? We'd go round the house and celebrate it there, but I haven' heard from them since September, so I don't know what's happening this year. I think they'll call me. I have been round to their house and it's all boarded up, so I don't know what's going on. But they'll ring me in due course to let me know the festivity arrangements. I look forward to it as well. Did... Hold on a second. A question from Sarah. You can come to mine if you want. Hmm? Come to mine if you want. This is exactly what I'm talking about! Will you leave it alone? I'm only being polite. We had that one night in the Holiday Inn. Yes. And we both agreed you was rubbish. You didn't know what you were doing, fumbling around, so from now on, it's just a "no"! You've got to be brutal because she'll only, backstage, flash me her bits and I don't want to see it. It's Christmas. Everybody's in the party spirit. Are you a party man yourself? Yeah, big time, big time, because people want me to come to their parties all the time. They look at me and they go, "Yeah, I like the look of him." Oh, yes, yes. But what's going on upstairs? That's what they want to know and there's a lot going on up there. I like to talk about things like music and other stuff and politics and all that sort of stuff. You'd be in the kitchen in the party, not cutting a rug like Rhys? No, I'd just be in the kitchen having a chat and all that sort of carry-on and holding court. That's what I'd be doing. And no sor of music would tempt you out? Not at all. Not even if it was Tiger Feet by Mud? Well, that would tempt me out, yes. Or Fox On The Run by Sweet or anything from the '60s or 'the 70s. Pretty much anything I'll go and dance to, actually. I hate being in the kitchen at parties. I'm no good at it. Do any of you have party tricks that you do? Any little things that you can sort of just...? Yes, yes, Rhys? Take that. Listen to this. Two, two, testing. That's not it, is it? What I'll do is I'll do... For the festive season, I'll do the sound effects of Santa arriving at the top of the house and then coming down the chimney to put the presents under the tree. Here he comes. Santa arriving, folks. MAKES FAST GALLOPING SOUND MAKES THUMPING SOUNDS Ohh! Aagh! COUGHS Ho ho ho! APPLAUSE Very good. That was... That was special. So we're heading to a new year. What does it hold for my guests tonight? Rhys, where will you be? Which hemisphere will you be in? It's hard to say. You don't know what's round the next corner. More movies? Yes, films, television, a book as well. Reading or writing? LAUGHTER Yeah, uh, reading. You're just planning to buy a book. Well, we wish you luck with that. Angelos? I'm just going to put me feet up. I've got about 70 episodes of Crimewatch to get through. I've had them recorded since 1994 an you don't get the time to watch 'em. You can't catch up cos they're always making new ones, so I'm going to watch them and I'll just be living off the profits of my DVD what is out now. CHEERING On that festive note, let me say a big thank you to all my guests tonight. Thanks to everybody who has joined in our special festive party. To finish, we shall have some music! APPLAUSE LIVELY FOLK MUSIC CHEERING CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd 2011 Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk Ah, thanks so much for helping man. I mean, every time I click out of one, 50 more of them pop up. I spend half my work day deleting naked people. Looks like you got yourself a "pornado." A what? Ow. A "pornado." It's what happens when people visit virus-infected porn sites all day instead of doing their jobs. You know, like, lazy perverts. Ah, what a bunch of creeps. So, can you fix my porn? Oh, my God. Oh, come on. Like you don't look at this. Oh, my God! Ah! - That's little Mary! - Who's little Mary? I know this girl. Oh, my God. Oh, this is impossible. Yeah, how do you know Liza Blue? No, no. Her name is Mary Webber. I used to mentor her in math when she was 14 years old. She was unbelievable at multi-variable calculus. Wow. Yeah, well, she's pretty good at sex, too. - Oh! - Oh. - Ew! - Ew. - Oh, God. - Yeah. Oh, this is awful. Hey, maybe you should stop looking. Oh, this is all my fault. What? How is it your fault? So, Aaron, what kind of career do you think I should go into? I got into math and computers because there was this deep, dark... I don't know... hole inside me and math filled it. You need to figure out where your hole is, and try different things until you discover what fills it. Wow, I was not expecting to say this, but this really might be your fault. I got to find her. I got to find Mary Webber. I got to talk some sense into her. - I started this. I got to end this. - Whoa. Wait. No. What about my "pornado"? Yeah. Whatever, Neil. Yeah, everyone knows you're eating Marci's pudding snacks. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I've seen you. Son. Friends with Benefits The Benefit of Mentors August 26, 2011 Where should we go for lunch? Let's do vegan. I just bought a leather jacket, and I wanna balance it out. Who are you talking to? Some loser I can't get rid of. He won't stop texting me. So you're texting him back? Well, I can't just ignore him. That would be totally rude. Plus, you never know. Dr. Greenspan. Dr. Greenspan to O.R. Ooh. Who's the sexy grandpa? Someone you are not going to date. No, really. I'm not kidding. That's Dr. Everett Lonsdale. He's visiting from New York University Hospital and is pretty much the most brilliant pediatric surgeon in the country. Coolio. Oh, God. He's coming over here. Don't say "coolio." Hello, Dr. Lonsdale. Hello, Sara. Great job assisting this morning in surgery. Thank you. Thank you so much. It was so inspiring watching you work up close. And who is this? What? This. Oh, I'm sorry. Um, this is Riley. My roommate. Riley this is doctor... Call me Everett. Okay. Everett. Better yet, why don't you just call me? That's funny. You're pretty funny. Thank you. And you're pretty pretty. Thank you. Well, there are some people dying, so we should... I have a meeting to get to. I'll see you later, Sara. Hope to hear from you soon, Riley. Awesome. Okay, this is not good. This is not good. This is totally weird. - What's weird? - You. Going out with Dr. Lonsdale. That guy's my hero. My roommate can't date my hero. Just like you can't date my dentist. Remember that? So, I haven't heard from Riley in a month now. Shouldn't I have some sort of anesthetic? Please. You're making a big deal out of nothing. I mean, it's not like I'm going to embarrass you or anything. What, you think I'm going to embarrass you? It's a strong possibility. Well, I will have you know that I have dated congressmen. And two hockey players. I think I can hold my own with a measly doctor. Where are you getting all these good dates? Bam. Oh, hey, you remember Noah from our flag football team? Yeah. He just got out of intensive care. We should probably go visit the man, considering it's kind of our fault that he's in there. Man, would you quit saying that? It is not our fault. You know what? You're right. It's your fault. Hike. Go long! Come on. I got a cannon over here. Further, further! Oh. Ooh. Usually, I'm a big fan of physical comedy. Pratfalls and what not. Yeah. When I heard that crunch... - Actually, it was still kind of funny. - Yeah. Look, you know what? We'll go visit him, give him a balloon, draw penises all over his cast. He'll smile. We'll be in the clear. Hey, Aaron. You okay? I'm not really sure. Well, he should be more than okay because he had lunch with... Liza Blue. Liza Blue? The porn star? Okay, first of all, that's not her real name. Secondly, she prefers the term "Adult Film Thespian." And thirdly, I had a very good conversation with her, and hopefully, she's gonna stop doing... Hundreds of men, women and objects? She doesn't do objects. She has a standard contract, and she doesn't do objects. She doesn't do animals, and she doesn't do water sports. Although I don't really know what that is. I think that's... doing it on a jet ski? Oh, boy. Yep. Why would anyone want to do that on a jet ski? Okay, so what? - Were you able to talk her out of it? - I think so. Although she did most of the talking. If it wasn't for you, I never would have gotten to where I am today. Thank you. You made me fall in love with math, Aaron. And with those skills, I've learned to invest my money, run my own website, and create a healthy and diversified portfolio. That's cool. That is really cool. You know, I think that I'm just curious if-if maybe you're interested in expanding. Oh, I totally do! I'm gonna start my own reality show where I take other porn stars out to dinner. It's called Stuffing Liza Blue's Face. Wow. Great title. God. You know, I love how encouraging you are. That's why I've always had such a big crush on you. I still do. Huge. So, are you gonna have sex with her? I was her mentor. She was my mentee. I am not going to take advantage of a girl that looks up to me. Dude, God has dropped a porn star into your lap, okay? Don't disappoint Him. He can be a jealous and a vengeful God. Mmm. Amen. I am officially done with this conversation. Aaron, I am with you. And right now, you can still influence her life in a totally positive way. And it would be creepy and weird if you slept with her. Hey, hey, hey. We all agree that it would be creepy and weird. That's why we want him to do it. - Yeah. - Yeah. Come on. It happened on a doctors without borders trip in Indonesia. A lovely woman was a few weeks from giving birth to a child with a heart defect. I operated on the baby in utero. Fortunately, both the mother and child survived and are now thriving. I found out later she named the baby after me. Very flattering. Aw, little Dr. Lonsdale. Um, Everett, actually. I know. That was a joke. Oh. Whoa. Yikes. Good luck walking that one off. Noah, buddy. Hey. Can you hear us? Man, you think he knows we're here? Well, I hope so. You know how much I hate doing nice things for people if no one sees. Oh. Hey. I put that there. He stole my wink. Every time. Well, I guess I better do it again. Whoa. Hey. Ah... Well, if you want to get credit, man, let's sign his cast and get up out of here. Ooh, ooh. You know what we should do? We should sign it all over, with different dates, and then he'll think we came back a bunch of times. What? Oh, hi. Who are you? Hey. Um, we're Noah's friends, Ben and Fitz. - We came a really long way to visit. - Mm-hmm. Oh, that is so sweet and thoughtful. It is. Isn't it? And who are you? Please say, "sister." I'm Noah's girlfriend. Boy, it is so nice to see there are still good guys in the world. Hey, well, you found us. Wow. Lana. Yeah. Damn. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I hope not, man. If you're thinking what I'm thinking, you are a horrible person. Yeah. I mean, there's no universe in which you can go after a man's girlfriend when he's lying motionless in a hospital bed. Yeah. Let alone pulling out his IV bag and banging her over his lifeless body. Wow. That was on the tip of your tongue. Hmm? Dr. Maxwell, can you come in here for a moment? I need to talk to you about something very important. This is slightly uncomfortable for me to talk about. Is it about the surgery this morning? I swear that kid's nose just looked like that. I want to friend Riley on the Facebook. It's just "Facebook." Oh, I know, but Riley seems to take it pretty seriously. Would you be willing to friend me and possibly connect me with your friends? But, you know, the cool ones. Okay. I guess I could do that. Great! Fantastic. Thank you. Yeah. So, it's almost 3:00. Are you still going to give that lecture on emergency C-Sections? Oh gosh, no. I have a date with Riley. Could you cover for me? Really? Do you think I'm qualified to? Sara, I think you show great promise as an obstetrician. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. ♪ Tell me how you want it, tell me what you like ♪ ♪ tell me how you're doin' it, tell me what you like ♪ ♪ this is how I want it ♪ ah ♪ ♪ this is what I like ♪ yeah ♪ ♪ this is how I want it ♪ ♪ this is what I like ♪ yeah ♪ ♪ this is how I want it. ♪ - Okay. Listen, before we start our evening, I just think we should lay down a couple of ground rules. Um, I think we should just be friends. And while I am very tempted by your beauty, I think it's important that our relationship remain pla... ♪ Tell me how you want it ♪ ♪ tell me what you like ♪ ♪ tell me how you want it, tell me what you like ♪ "Pla" what? Just "pla." ♪ Tell me what you like ♪ ♪ tell me how you want it ♪ ♪ tell me what you like ♪ ♪ this is how I want it ♪ uh ♪ ♪ this is what I like ♪ yeah ♪ ♪ this is how I want it, this is what I like ♪ Wow. I can't remember the last time I did it missionary style. That is one of the top two moments of my whole life. The other was with Stephen Hawking. Oh, we didn't do this. I just met him. ♪ This is how I want it, this is what I like ♪ - Morning Ri. - Hey Sara. So, how are things going with Dr. Lonsdale? Eh. What? What does that mean? Meh. Okay. What are these sounds? What's going on? Nothing's going on. He just did something before we had sex that turned me off. - Maybe he was trying to be considerate. - Yeah. But then he did something after we had sex that really turned me off. This is bad. This is very, very bad. What am I gonna do? Don't worry about it. Everett and I have zero chemistry together. I guarantee you, he feels exactly the same way I do. I want her! I want her in my life. She is amazing. She's not that amazing. Hey, help me analyze this. We've been out a couple times, but when I call her, she just texts me back. And short ones, like, "Hey, Everett." I mean, you know her really well. Does that mean she's brushing me off? Hmm, what to say, what to say. If you ever get the opportunity to talk me up, you know, if the subject of Nobel Prizes comes up, maybe you could drop something about my nomination. Listen, I hear you, okay? But I don't think I should get involved in this. I really admire you, and it doesn't feel right... Have you ever separated twins in the womb? No. - Would you like to? - Would I like to? I mean, it would be the opportunity of a lifetime. Are you bribing me? 12-hour surgery, right by my side. Afterwards, an interview with CNN's Sanjay Gupta. Fine. I'll do it. But just so you know... This is very wrong. Great! Listen, I need you to help me compose a funny tweet to Riley. I want it to be clever, but not like I'm trying too hard. Okay. You're a horrible person. You're a horrible person. Hey. Hey. Hey! I can't believe you guys are both here again. Neither can I. I can't believe it even more. Uh, I thought we agreed Lana was off limits. No, I wasn't there for Lana. Okay, I care about Noel. Noah. His name is Noah. It is, right? Wait. Now Noah sounds wrong. Wait. Why are you scolding me, man? You were the one bringing her flowers. They were for norm. Noel. Man... All right, look, look. We're both wrong. Hitting on Lana is a total violation of several commandments, many edicts, and at least one mores. Or hang on. I'm about to blow your mind. It's only bad if we like the dude. Uh-huh, uh-huh, I'm listening. Yeah, this guy owes me eight bucks! You know what? He does not return phone calls promptly! Let me ask you this. What if he's a racist? This one time, he didn't want to drink out of my latte. Oh! We're doing a good thing, saving Lana from this scumbag. Yeah, but, which one of us is going to save her? Now I'm wondering if you're a racist. No, come on. You know what? No, we can't do this. Remember what happened the last time we competed over a girl? Okay, first, we need to go to a place that has money. Yeah, then we need to go to a place that has pants. Yeah. You know what? You are absolutely right. From now on, we will only hit on girls whose boyfriends are not in the hospital. Yeah. Classy. - Is Dr. Lonsdale coming? - No, he said you should handle it. Okay, well, that's, like, three babies. That seems like plenty. They're quintuplets, doctor. There's two more. Are you (Bleep) Kidding me? This has seen better days. Hey, sexy. We got to talk. Things are getting out of hand at work. I delivered quintuplets. I hope. I mean, I didn't really actually count them at the end. Congratulations! Let's celebrate! This is not a celebration! This is a nightmare! Dr. Lonsdale is obsessed. He won't quit asking me things about you. Oh, and now I'm doing surgical procedures that are way over my head. Let me guess. - This is all my fault. - This is all your fault. You make things so messy. Like now! Oh! Your underwear is in our communal sink when you have a perfectly functional sink of your own! Actually, I clogged my sink up hard. It's a funny story. See, I was trying to wax my... Stop. The point is, I need you to get your thongs out of the sink of my career. - What? - Break it off with Lonsdale. For real. I mean, leave the poor guy no hope. None. I can do that. Consider Dr. Everett Lonsdale completely dumped. - Although, you never know. - No, no, no. This time I need you to know. - Tell me you know. - All right. And don't think, "you never know," either. - Fine. - Thank you. Yeah, big boy! Mmm! What... what are you watching? ! Your girlfriend. She is really talented. Turn this off! Hey, turn it off! I cannot believe you! That's the girl that I am dating! How could you do this? You're a horrible friend! Horrible! Aaron, 100,000 guys can watch Liza Blue online every day, but your roommate can't? You are a horrible friend! Horrible! That's not her name. Her name is Mary, okay? Mary! Okay, fine. Mary! What are you going to do, man? Erase Mary from the entire Internet? ! Liza, it's Phillip. No one can find you on the Internet. Your photos, your movies, your website... it's all blocked. Only one lame ass thing comes up when I Google your name. Ben? What are you doing here? Well, I could ask you the same question. Yeah, well, I'm here with the make-a-wish clowns. We're visiting the children's ward. Who are you with? I'm freelancing. Can I speak to you outside for a moment, please? Sure. All right, man, can we stop this? We have hit rock bottom. I'll admit it. I have felt better about myself. Now, let's just put this competition aside. Come on, we're friends. We can't do this to each other. Aah! The poodle you ordered. ♪ She's lump, she's lump, she's lump ♪ ♪ she's in my head. ♪ ♪ She's lump, she's lump, she's... ♪ - Dr. Lonsdale. - Hey, Sara, what's up? Oh, not much. Just prepping for my laparoscopic fetal kidney surgery. Hey, have you spoken to Riley recently? I have. This morning, actually. She broke up with me. What? Oh, God, that's awful! - I'm so sorry. - No, it's okay. I mean, the timing was obviously bad, with her moving to Egypt for two years. I asked her if it was possible if we could be together when she gets back, and she said, "You never know." She said that? I'm gonna kill her. Don't tell Riley, but I'm looking into a transfer. I have friends at Cairo Presbyterian. Dr. Lonsdale. Dr. Habib. Perfect. Ooh! You said you were going to do it, Riley. You promised you would leave the guy no hope! What are you talking about? I dumped him this morning. I can't help it if the guy doesn't want to let me go. You were supposed to close the door! Instead, you did what you always do. You left it wide open. I don't know if I left it wide open. Maybe I left it open a tiny little crack. A crack is just as bad! Why couldn't you just close it? I mean, what is so hard about closing the door on a relationship you don't even want? I don't know. I guess maybe it scares me. Something scares you? Okay, look, it's really hard for me to talk about feelings, so if we are gonna talk about this, you have to make a dumb face. What? ! Just do it. Oh. Mm. Oh! That's not dumb. That's cute. Look, I don't know who my dad is. And... If I stop believing that anything is possible, it feels like I'm shutting the door on ever meeting him. Can I stop making this face? 'Cause I feel like I'm gonna cry. Well, your crying face is dumb, too, so go ahead. I'll end it with Everett. Thank you. Yeah. Just curious. Why Egypt? I figure it's so far away that no one will ever follow me there. Seriously, you know Riley Elliott? Yeah. We dated for six months. We're on a break right now, but you never know. Hmm. You've blocked my entire life's work! You ruined my career! Whoa. I just think that you have some incredible skills, Mary, and I would love to see you channel those talents into something good. Oh. For your information, I have done a lot of good! Did you know that I was the number one download for Operation Desert Freedom? What have you ever done for our troops? I was really nice to one in an airport shuttle one time. Okay, if you want to help me, Aaron, then just let me be who I am. Accept me for who I am. Not a lot of people in my life have done that. I just want you to be happy. I am happy. Yeah, okay. You're right. I'm sorry. From now on, I'm going to be here for you. But I want you to know that if you ever change your mind, and you need a job, you know where to go. Thank you. And if you ever need a job... Uh, nah. ♪ Yeah. ♪ God, you guys are so amazing. I want you to show you guys something. Oh, my God, it's happening. Okay, now, remember, no helmet-to-helmet contact. Well, we still got some tough decisions to make, man. Ooh! What do you think? I got it yesterday. Wow. That is disappointing. Before the accident, I was really on the fence about Noah, but meeting you two opened my eyes. Anyone who has friends as good as you must be a pretty special person. Man, this rental cost me 80 bucks. You rented yours? Aah! Ah, I really appreciate you guys pitching in - for Noah. - Yeah, friends till the end. - No man left behind. - Well we gotta make sure this place is completely sterile. His immune systems pretty shot right now. Fitz. You get started on the windows. Okay. And you get to work on the potty. Thank you. And you know neither one of us is ever going to get to bang her, right? You have no patience. [ BEEPING ] I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR ALL AUTOBOTS SCATTERED THROUGHOUT THE GALAXIES. THOUGH CYBERTRON HAS FALLEN, WE STILL STAND. FOLLOW THESE COORDINATES TO JOIN US, PRIORITY PRIME. [ HISS, CLICK ] [ DOOR WHIRRING ] WHAT IS THIS PLACE? Optimus Prime: EARTH. AND I AM OPTIMUS PRIME. RESCUE FORCE SIGMA 17 REPORTING FOR DUTY. I WAS NOT AWARE RESCUE TEAMS WERE... STILL ACTIVE. WHEREVER THERE IS AN EMERGENCY, THERE ARE RESCUE BOTS, SIR. WAIT. WHY WOULDN'T WE BE ACTIVE? HOW LONG WERE WE IN STASIS? WE BETTER CHECK IN WITH CYBERTRON H.Q. THAT WILL NOT BE NECESSARY, OR POSSIBLE. CYBERTRON IS NO LONGER OUR HOME. THIS PLANET IS. [ SEAGULL CALLING ] [ WHIRRING ] [ CARD CLICKING ] HI, MR. HARRISON. WHOA! WHOA! I'M OKAY. [ CARD CLICKING ] [ SIREN WAILS ] Charlie: CODY BURNS, GRIFFIN ROCK P.D. PLEASE PULL OVER. FIGURED YOU'D WANT TO SAY GOODBYE TO THE OLD RUST BUCKET. IT'S HER LAST DAY ON THE JOB. [ SIGHS ] I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS CITY'S MAKING YOU GET A NEW CAR, DAD. THIS ONE WORKS FINE. PROGRESS, KIDDO. TOWN WOULDN'T BE A HIGH-TECH TESTING GROUND IF WE STAYED BAD. GIVE IT UP, DAD. IF CODY HAD HIS WAY, WE'D ALL BE PEDALING EVERYWHERE. OF COURSE, YOU'D STILL BE ON TRAINING WHEELS, KADE. [ Laughing ] THE HELMET MIGHT MESS UP YOUR HAIR. QUIT IT, GRAHAM. DON'T FORGET TO BE AT THE DEDICATION THIS AFTERNOON. THINK I COULD TEST-DRIVE THE -- CODY. WE'RE GETTING RESCUE VEHICLES, NOT GO-KARTS. SORRY, PAL. FOR AUTHORIZED EMERGENCY RESPONDERS ONLY. SO, BASICALLY, EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY BUT ME. I HAVE TO DROP THESE TROUBLEMAKERS OFF AND CATCH A CHOPPER TO THE MAINLAND. YOU GET YOUR BOTTOM TO SCHOOL. AND, CODY, GIVE IT TIME. YOU'LL FIND YOUR PLACE. Optimus Prime: HEATWAVE, CHASE, BLADES, BOULDER. AFTER CAREFUL CONSIDERATION, I HAVE CHOSEN YOUR NEW MISSION. NICE. WE ARE HAPPY TO JOIN THE BATTLE, SIR. SO, WHEN DO WE ROLL OUT? YOU DO NOT. AS PERHAPS THE LAST RESCUE BOTS IN EXISTENCE, YOU ARE UNIQUELY SUITED TO HELP THE PEOPLE OF THIS PLANET, AS WELL AS LEARN FROM THEM. YOU MEAN WE'LL INTERACT WITH HUMANS? YOU WILL BE AMBASSADORS TO THE PEOPLE OF THIS PLANET -- THE FIRST AUTOBOTS TO LIVE WITH A HUMAN FAMILY. STUDY THEIR CUSTOMS, OBEY THEIR RULES, AND WORK TOGETHER TO KEEP THIS PLANET SAFE. DURING THIS MISSION, YOU FOUR MUST APPEAR TO THE HUMANS AS MACHINES, ROBOTS IN DISGUISE. WHAT? WHILE THE PEOPLE OF EARTH ARE COMFORTABLE WITH ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY, THE IDEA THAT ALIEN BEINGS ARE LIVING AMONG THEM WILL UNDOUBTEDLY CAUSE PANIC. SO WE CAN HELP THE HUMANS AS LONG AS WE HIDE OUR TRUE SELVES? YOU ARE RIGHT TO QUESTION WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR TEAM, HEATWAVE. THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING YOU TO LEAD THIS MISSION. TO MAINTAIN YOUR COVER, YOU WILL EACH ADOPT A VEHICLE MODE BASED ON EARTH TECHNOLOGY. WHOA! LOOK AT THOSE LINES. THIS THING'S A POWER HOUSE. BOULDER, DO YOU WISH TO SCAN FIRST? [ ENGINE REVS ] Heatwave: [ CHUCKLES ] PRIMITIVE, BUT APPARENTLY THEY USE THIS ONE FOR WHAT I DID BACK HOME. IS THIS WHAT EARTH AUTHORITIES USE FOR RULE ENFORCEMENT? IT SEEMS YOUR CHOICE HAS BEEN MADE FOR YOU, BLADES. Blades: WAIT. THIS THING FLIES? Boulder: HE DOESN'T LIKE HEIGHTS. THIS IS CHIEF CHARLIE BURNS. HE KNOWS OUR SECRET AND WILL HELP YOU KEEP YOURS. RESCUE BOTS, GOOD LUCK. IT IS AN HONOR AND A PRIVILEGE. Heatwave: OVER HERE. CODY, COME HERE! HEY, DOC. FRANKIE. ISN'T THIS EXCITING? THE TECH'S LIKE NOTHING I'VE EVER SEEN. Charlie: [ CLEARS THROAT ] UM, THANK YOU FOR COMING, FOLKS. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE RESCUE STUFF. I'M TALKING ABOUT THIS. THE NEW EXHIBIT AT THE MUSEUM. "CYBERWIRE SAURIAN STRUCTURES INFUSED WITH CRETACEOUS DNA"! OUR TOWN HAS A LONG HISTORY OF BEING ON THE CUTTING EDGE OF NEW TECHNOLOGY. NOW, THANKS TO OUR FRIENDS IN WASHINGTON, I GIVE YOU THE LATEST IN EMERGENCY RESPONSE -- THE RESCUE BOTS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ROBOTS, TRANSFORM. [ APPLAUSE ] Man: WOW! Woman: WHOO! THESE ROBOTIC RESCUE VEHICLES WILL STREAMLINE OUR RESOURCES. NOW ONE HUMAN TEAM WITH ONE ROBOT CAN DO THE WORK OF AN ENTIRE POLICE FORCE... FIRE DEPARTMENT... EMERGENCY RESPONSE UNIT... AND ENGINEERING CORPS. EACH ROBOT IS PROGRAMMED TO RESPOND ONLY TO THE COMMANDS OF ITS HANDLER. SO YOU CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT KNOWING THAT GRIFFIN ROCK IS PROTECTED BY THE VERY BEST THAT TECHNOLOGY AND HUMANITY HAVE TO OFFER. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] HEY. THAT ROBOT MOVED ON ITS OWN. YO, KID. CAN YOU MOVE? I WANT A PHOTO OF THE BURNS FAMILY OF HEROES. [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] [ SIGHS ] [ BEEPING ] THIS IS THE CHIEF. GO AHEAD. [ RADIO CHATTER ] FIRE AT THE NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM. HEY. I DIDN'T TELL IT TO DO THAT. IT'S NEW TECHNOLOGY, SON. BOUND TO BE SOME BUGS. [ SIRENS WAIL ] OH, COME ON. FASTER. WE'RE BEING OUTRUN BY A BULLDOZER. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. NOT SO SLOW. FLY LOW. UNDERSTOOD. [ SIGHS ] [ SIRENS WAIL ] [ TIRES SCREECH ] TRANSFORM. CLEAR THE MUSEUM OF CIVILIANS. PLEASE EVACUATE IN AN ORDERLY FASHION. [ SIREN WAILS ] [ HORN BLARES ] THESE HUMANS DID NOT RESPOND. [ CHUCKLES ] WELL, I DON'T THINK WE NEED TO WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT THEM, PARTNER. WE NEED TO MOVE THE PLANTERS TO CREATE A FIRE BLOCK. BUT I -- THAT WILL DESTROY THE HARMONIOUS NATURE OF THE PLAZA'S DESIGN. WHAT? [ CHUCKLES ] NICE OF YOU TO SHOW UP, DANI. WOULD HAVE BEEN HERE SOONER IF MY RIDE WASN'T STUCK IN NEUTRAL. NEXT TIME, I'M WALKING. [ BLADES SIGHS ] Graham: LOOKS LIKE A SHORT STARTED THE FIRE, BUT THIS SHOULD HOLD FOR A WHILE. CYBERWIRE'S TOO MUCH FOR THESE OLD CIRCUITS. WELL, IT'S JUST A GOOD THING NOBODY GOT HURT. [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ] I DIDN'T TELL IT TO DO THAT. I WOULDN'T COMPLAIN. YOUR ROBOT WAS STILL IN RESCUE MODE. YOU GAVE HIM THE DIRECTIVE TO SAVE LIVES, SO HE DID. YOU'RE WELCOME, GRAHAM. [ SIGHS ] [ GROWLS ] [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] Boulder: WHERE ARE YOU GOING? I NEED SOME SPACE. CHIEF SAID THERE'S A BUNKER BELOW STREET LEVEL. A RELIC OF SOMETHING THEY CALL THE COLD WAR. APPARENTLY WE'RE GETTING SOME SPACE, TOO. WAIT FOR ME. [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] [ LAUGHTER ] I STILL DON'T GET IT. HOW DID KADE'S ROBOT KNOW TO -- PASS THE CARROTS, HUH? I NOTICED A GLITCH OR TWO WITH MY 'COPTER, BUT AT LEAST I HAD IT UNDER CONTROL. A GLITCH IS ONE THING, BUT I SAW -- KADE, DANI, GRAHAM, YOU GUYS DID GREAT WORK TODAY. CAN I BE EXCUSED? [ GRUNTING ] OPTIMUS OR NO OPTIMUS, I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG I CAN PUT UP WITH THIS. ORDERED AROUND. OTHERS TAKING THE CREDIT. HAVING TO PRETEND WE'RE TIN CANS. WELL, DID YOU SEE THE WAY MY PARTNER PILOTS ME? MY CONTROLS ARE STILL SORE. IT'S ALWAYS, "HIGHER, HIGHER, FASTER, FASTER!" STILL, IT WAS NICE BEING A PART OF AN EMERGENCY RESPONSE AGAIN. I FIND OUR CHIEF QUITE COMPETENT. THERE IS MUCH HE CAN TEACH US ABOUT EARTH'S LAW-ENFORCEMENT PROCEDURES. THE HUMANS DO HAVE STRANGE WAYS, BUT THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM SO INTERESTING. I'M LEAVING. YOU CAN'T LEAVE. YOU'RE OUR LEADER. THEN WE'LL ALL GO. THOSE HUMANS WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND US. WE'LL NEVER BELONG HERE. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. DON'T BOTHER. YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYBODY. TRUST ME. LIVING IN GRIFFIN ROCK, I KNOW ROBOTS. AND YOU GUYS -- WORST ROBOTS I'VE EVER SEEN. WE FAILED AT OUR MISSION. OUR COVER IS BLOWN. IF THIS HUMAN KNOWS, HE'LL TELL THE OTHERS. ARE YOU KIDDING? AND WASTE THE CHANCE TO KNOW SOMETHING THEY DON'T? SOMETHING THIS HUGE? I'M THE BEST THING THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO YOUR MISSION, 'CAUSE I'M GONNA TEACH YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT EARTH. CAN YOU TEACH ME HOW TO MAKE MY HUMAN STOP YELLING? DANI? I DON'T THINK ANYONE CAN DO THAT. I'M CODY, BY THE WAY. I'M BLADES. BOULDER. CLASSIFIED. THAT'S CHASE. AND I'M HEATWAVE. SO, CODY, NOW THAT YOU KNOW WHAT WE ARE, NAME ONE GOOD REASON WHY WE SHOULDN'T LEAVE THIS PLANET RIGHT NOW. THERE'S TUNNELS LIKE THIS ONE ALL OVER THE ISLAND. AND THEY ALL END IN THE BUNKER. GREAT FOR SNEAKING OUT OF THE FIRE HOUSE. Boulder: WHOA. IT'S LIKE A MILLION OPTICS SET IN CARBON. SO BEAUTIFUL. I GUESS IT KIND OF IS. SO, WHY WOULD YOU EVER WANT TO LEAVE? THIS IS WHAT EVERYONE WILL EXPECT YOU TO ACT LIKE. SEE? LOCK YOUR LEGS, STICK OUT YOUR ARMS. YOU TRY. REALLY? [ ROBOTIC NOISES ] I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU LEARNED THAT, BUT NO. LOOK, CODY, I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE DOING. WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS HOW [Robotic] TALKING LIKE THIS [Normal voice] IS GONNA MAKE MY RIDE-ALONG RESPECT ME. THE TRICK WITH KADE IS TO MAKE HIM THINK HE'S IN CHARGE. TRUST ME. I'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR YEARS. [ ROAR ] IS THAT PART OF THE FILM? I KNOW I'M NEW HERE, BUT AREN'T DINOSAURS EXTINCT? THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO BE. HEATWAVE, WAIT! LOOK, IF ANYONE SEES YOU TAKING DOWN THAT DINO ON YOUR OWN, THERE GOES YOUR COVER AND YOUR MISSION. [ ROARS ] IT'S ATTRACTED TO THE LIGHT. CHASE, HIT YOUR LIGHTS. [ SIREN WAILS ] THAT GOT HIS ATTENTION. NOW WHAT? WE NEED TO LURE HIM SOMEWHERE WITH NO PEOPLE AROUND. RESCUE BOTS, ROLL TO THE RESCUE. [ SIRENS WAIL ] [ TIRES SCREECH ] [ HORN BLARES ] HE'S FOLLOWING, BUT WE'RE STILL GONNA NEED AN ASSIST. I'LL COM-LINK THE CHIEF IN. RESCUE HEADQUARTERS. GO AHEAD. DAD, UH, OKAY. FIRST, DON'T WORRY. I'M WITH THE RESCUE BOTS. WHAT? ! WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO -- THEY DID. I MEAN, UH, DAD, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT THE RESCUE BOTS AREN'T ROBOTS. THEY'RE FROM ANOTHER PLANET. THEY'RE ALIENS. HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN? WAIT. YOU KNOW? CODY, WHERE ARE YOU? CHIEF BURNS, IF I MAY. WE ARE HEADED WESTBOUND ON LAKE STREET WITH A DINOSAUR IN PURSUIT. A DINOSAUR? AGAIN? CODY, YOU AREN'T DRIVING, ARE YOU? NO. WHY DID WE TAKE THE OLD SQUAD CAR? HUH? [ SIRENS WAIL ] [ DINOSAUR GROWLS ] THAT'S WHY. I'LL EXPLAIN LATER. [ TIRES SCREECH ] CODY! YOU JACKED MY RIDE? LISTEN, THE T-REX LIKES LIGHTS. I THINK YOU SHOULD -- LESS TALK. MORE ACTION. [ LOUD FOOTSTEP ] [ ROARS ] [ HORN BLARES ] WHOA! THIS MACHINE ALMOST DRIVES ITSELF. STAY HERE, SON. [ SIREN WAILS ] COME ON! WE HAVE TO FLY CLOSER TO THE DINOSAUR OR WE'RE USELESS. CODY, WHAT DID YOU DO TO OUR ROBOTS? CODY: If you need them to do what you want, you have to ask nicely. CODY, GET OFF THIS CHANNEL. IT'S FOR EMERGENCY RESPONDERS ONLY. PIPE DOWN, KADE. CODY SPOTTED THE DINOSAUR FIRST. FOR NOW, HE'S ON THE TEAM. FINE BY ME. GOT ANY IDEAS, CODY? NOT EXACTLY, BUT I KNOW SOMEONE WHO WILL. [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] Francine: UH... HELLO? CODY? THE DINOSAUR EXHIBIT? FINE. NOW YOU'RE INTERESTED. CODY: How's it going, Graham? ALMOST THERE. JUST A LITTLE MORE TO THE RIGHT. [ HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING ] PREPARING TO LIFT THE PAYLOAD. GOOD TO GO, DANI. YOU REALLY THINK THIS WILL HOLD A TYRANNOSAUR? WE'LL FIND OUT. [ SIREN WAILS ] CODY: Keep him busy, Dad. Dani's on her way. NOW, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET THAT THING OVER HERE? Heatwave: THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK. OH! AAH! INCOMING AIR SUPPORT. I HOPE FRANKIE WAS RIGHT. AAH! WHEW. UH... THINK ANYONE WILL NOTICE? WAIT. I WANT TO GET A PICTURE OF MY HEROES. ALL MY HEROES. COME ON, DAD. JUST BECAUSE CODY ANSWERED ONE RESCUE CALL DOESN'T MEAN HE'S PART OF THE TEAM. Heatwave: YES, IT DOES. AAH! OR WE'RE NOT. [ GASPS ] CODY IS OUR LIAISON ON THIS MISSION. HE'S THE REASON WE'RE EVEN GIVING THIS PLACE A CHANCE. ARE WE CLEAR? [ KADE SCREAMS ] DAD, DID THIS THING JUST TALK BACK TO ME? SOMETHING'S DEFINITELY WRONG WITH THE ROBOTS. WE CAN'T USE TECHNOLOGY PRONE TO MALFUNCTION. THEY'RE NOT MALFUNCTIONING. THEY'RE ALIENS. WHAT? ! WHAT? ! WHAT? ! WHAT? ! [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] 1x01 - Family of Heroes I have a message for all autobots scattered throughout the galaxies. Though Cybertron has fallen, we still stand. Follow these coordinates to join us. Priority prime. What is this place? Earth. And I am Optimus Prime. Rescue Force Sigma-17 reporting for duty. I was not aware rescue teams were... still active. Wherever there is an emergency, there are rescue bots, sir. Hey, why wouldn't we be active? How long were we in stasis? We better check it with Cybertron H.Q. That will not be necessary. Or possible. Cybertron is no longer our home. This planet is. Script by Arvegtor Timing by Deska Hi, mister Harrison! I'm OK! Cody Burns, Griffin Rock PD. Please, pull over. Figured you wanna say goodbye to the old rust bucket. It's her last day on the job. I still don't understand why the city is making you get a new car, Dad. - This one works fine. - Progress, kiddo. It wouldn't be high-tech testing ground if we stayed back. Give it up, Dad. If Cody had his way, we all would be paddling everywhere. 'Course you'd still be on training wheels, Kade. The helmet may mess up your hair. Quit it, Graham. Don't forget to be at the dedication this afternoon. Think I can test-drive the hotty. We're getting rescue vehicles, no go-carts. Sorry, pal. For authorised emergency responders only. So basically, everyone in the family but me. I've to drop these troublemakers often catch chopper to the main land. You get your bottom to school. And Cody, give it time. You'll find your place. Heatwave, Chase, Blades, Boulder. After careful consideration, I have chosen your new mission. - Nice! - We are happy to join the battle, sir! - So, when do we roll out? - You do not. As, perhaps, the last rescue bots in existence you are uniquely suited to help the people of this planet, as well as learn from them. You mean, we would interact with humans? You will be ambassadors to the people of this planet. The first autobots to live with a human family, study their customs, obey their rules, and work together to keep this planet safe. During this mission you four must appear to the humans... as machines, robots in disguise. What? While the people of Earth are comfortable with advanced technology, the idea that alien beings are living among them will undoubtedly cause panic. So, we can help the humans as long as we hide our true selves. You are right to question what is best for your team, Heatwave. That is why I am asking you to lead this mission. To maintain your cover, you will each adapt a vehicle mode based on Earth's technology. Wow! Look at those lines. This thing's a powerhouse. Boulder, do you wish to scan first? Ha, primitive. But apparently they use this one for what I did back home. Is this one first authorities use for ruling enforcement? It seems, your choice has been made for you, Blades. Wait, this thing flies. He doesn't like heights. This is Chief Charlie Burns, he knows our secret, and will help you keep yours. Rescue Bots, good luck! It is an honor and a privilege. Over here. Cody, come here! - Hey, Doc, Frankie. - Isn't this exciting? The techs like nothing I've ever seen. Thank you for coming, folks. I'm not talking about the rescue stuff, I'm talking about this. Dino Exhibit at the museum. Cyber-wired arranged actions and fuse with the Creatuceous DNA! Our town has a long history of being on the cutting edge of new technology. Now, thanks to our friends in Washington, I give you... the latest in emergency response... the Rescue Bots! Robots, transform! These robotic rescue vehicles will streamline our resources. Now one human teamed with one robot can do the work of an entire police force, fire department, emergency response unit and engineering core. Each robot is programmed to respond only to the commands of its handler, so you can sleep at night knowing that Griffin Rock is protected by the very best technology and humanity have to offer. Hey, that robot moved on its own. You, kid. Can you move, I want a photo of Burns family of heroes. This is the Chief. Go ahead. Fire at the natural history museum. Hey, I didn't tell to do that. It's new technologies, son. Ought to be some bugs. Come on, faster! We'll be outruned by a bulldozer. I do not understand. Not so slow. Fly low. Understood. Transform. Clear the museum of civilians. Please evacuate in an orderly passion. These humans did not respond. Well, I don't think we should worry too much about them, partner. We need to move the planters to create a fire block. But I... That would destroy the harmonious nature of the plaza's design. What? Nice of you to show up, Dani! Could've been here sooner if my ride wasn't stuck in neutral. Next time I'm walking. Looks like a short started the fire. But this should hold for a while. Cyber wires are too much for these old circuits. I have to insist the good thing nobody got hurt. - I didn't tell it to do that. - I wouldn't complain. Your robot was still in rescue mode. You gave him the directives to save lives, so it did. You're welcome, Graham. - Where are you going? - I need some space. Chief said there is a bunker below street level. Really I get something called... the cold war. Apparently, we're getting some space too. Wait for me! I still don't get it. How did Cade's robot know that... The pasta carrots? I know there is a glitch with my copter, too, but at least I had it under control. A glitch is one thing but I saw... Kade, Dani, Graham, you guys did great work today. Can I be excused? Optimus or no Optimus, I don't know how long I can put up with this... order around. Others taking the credits, having to pretend we're tin cans. What, did you see the way my partner pilots me? My controls are still sore. It's always higher, higher, faster, faster. Still, it was nice being a part of emergency response again. I find our Chief quite competent. There's much he can teach us about this law enforcement procedures. The humans do have strange ways. But that's what makes them so interesting. I'm leaving. You can't leave. You're our leader. Then, we'll all go. Those humans will never understand us. We'll never belong here. I know what you mean. Don't bother. You're not fooling anybody. Trust me. Living in Griffin Rock, I know robots and you guys... worst robots I've ever seen. We failed in our mission. Our cover is blown. If this human knows, he'll tell the others. Are you kidding? And waste a chance to know something they don't, something this huge? I'm the best thing that could happen to your mission, 'cause I'm gonna teach you everything you need to know about Earth. Can you teach me how to make my human stop yelling? Dani? I don't think anyone can do that. I'm Cody, by the way. - I'm Blades. - Boulder. Classified... - That's Chase. - And I'm Heatwave. So, Cody, now that you know what we are, name one good reason why we shouldn't leave this planet right now. These tunnels like this one all over the island. And they all end in the bunker. Great for sneaking out of the firehouse. Wow. That's like a million optics set in carbon. - So beautiful. - I guess, it kinda is. So why would you ever wanna leave? This is what everyone would expect you to act like. See? Lock your legs, stick out your arms... You try. Really? I don't know where you learned that, but no. Look, Cody, I understand what you're doing, but what I don't understand is how "talking-like-this" has gonna make my rider long respect me. The trick with Kade is to make him think he is in charge. Trust me, I've been doing it for years. Is that part of the film? I know I'm new here, but aren't dinosaurs extincted? - This one's about to be. - Heatwave, wait! Look, if anyone sees you taking down that dino on your own, there goes your cover and your mission. It's attracted to the light! Chase, take your lights! That got us attention. Now what? We need to lure him somewhere with no people around. Rescue Bots, roll to the rescue! He's following but we still gonna need an assist. I'm comm-link to Chief in. Rescue headquarters. Go ahead. Dad, OK, first, don't worry I'm with the Rescue Bots! What? Who gave you permission to... They did it. I mean... Dad, I don't know how to tell you this but the Rescue Bots aren't robots, they're from another planet, they're aliens! How long have you known? Wait, you know? Cody, where are you? Chief Burns, if I may, we're headed westbound to Lake Street with the dinosaur in pursuit. A dinosaur, again? Cody, you're driving, are you? No! Why did we take the old squad car? That's why. I'll explain later. Cody, you jacked my ride? Listen, the T-rex likes lights. I think you should... Less talk, more action. Oh, this machine almost drives itself. Stay here, son. Come on, we have to find course for the dinosaur or we're useless. Cody, what did you do to our robots? If you need them to do you want, you have to ask nicely. Cody, get off this channel. It's for emergency responders only. Hide down, Kade. Cody spotted the dinosaur first. For now, he's on the team. Fine by me. Got any ideas, Cody? Not exactly. But I know someone who will. Hello. Cody? The Dinosaur Exhibit. Fine, now you're interested. How is that going, Graham? I'm almost there. Just a little more to the right. Preparing to lift the payload. Good to go, Dani. You really think this will hold the tyrannosaur? We'll find out. Keep him busy, Dad. Dani is on her way. Now, how are we supposed to get that thing over here? Thought you'd never ask. Incoming air support. I hope, Frankie was right. You think anyone won't notice? Wait. I want to get a picture of my heroes. All my heroes. Come on, Dad. Just because Cody answered one rescue call doesn't mean he's part of the team. - Yes, it does. - Or we're not. Cody is our liasion on this mission. He's the reason we're even giving this place a chance. Are we clear? Dad, did that thing just talk back to me? Something's definitely wrong with the robots. We can't use technology prone to malfunction. They're not malfunctioning. They're aliens. - What? - What? Script by Arvegtor Timing by Deska Galactic showdown! In a fierce battle for survival, the Republic and separatist armies have clashed in the distant Sullust system. Count Dooku's most cunning assassin, Asajj Ventress, leads the vicious attack. Trident group one, attack the starboard engines. Trident group two, knock out their port shield generators. I'll go directly for their bridge. The port side deflectors are gone. Lord Tyranus. My master. There is a disturbance in the force. Your assassin, she has become very powerful. Yes, my lord. She is quite important to me. Too important. - Master... - Silence. I can sense her powers growing stronger. I would hate to think you are training your own sith... apprentice to destroy me. Never. My allegiance is to you and you alone. Then you must prove it. Eliminate her. She's my most trusted... I said eliminate her! As you wish, my lord. Ventress. Split up. Looks like I'm her favorite. I'm kind of disappointed. Only the droids follow me. You want to race? Come on. I'm going to need some help. Where are you? I'm hit! I'm heading toward the separatist flagship. I see you. I've got her. Master, I need your help quickly. I'm surrounded. You have already lost the battle, child. I've ordered your reinforcements to return. No. I will destroy the jedi. I'll show you. You have failed me for the last time. You are no longer my apprentice. And now you shall die. Thank you, Artoo. That's quite enough. Ventress, you're not looking well. She never does. You have failed, Ventress, surrender. Never. Yes, my lord. Ventress is battling the jedi on board the command ship. Turn your guns on our command ship and open fire. But, my lord, I calculate that will destroy, Ventress, the jedi, and all our forces. Precisely. - We're in position. - Open fire. That is correct. Calculate your flight path to terminate in the main hangar. It's over. Anakin, look out! We have to get out of here. Abandon ship! Abandon ship! Abandon ship! Abandon ship! The command ship has been destroyed. Our scanning indicates there are no survivors. Your work there is finished. Recall the fleet. By your command. Master. What is it, lord Tyranus? I have done as you've asked. Asajj Ventress is dead. Once again, you've proven your loyalty to me. You took quite a beating there. Didn't you, missy? Which side of the battle was you on? Not too talkative, are you? Take me to Dathomir. Now, why would anyone want to go there? Ain't nothing there but fog and witches. Exactly. We don't like strangers. I'm not a stranger. Prepare to die. Stop. She is one of us. Take her to the village. - Who is she? - What is she doing here? Mother... Talzin. Bring the water of life. At last, you have returned, and you are safe again. I remember the day we were forced to give you up... to protect the clan. Your sacrifice has never been forgotten. Master. Master, where are you? Master. They've killed you. You are strong with the force, little one. Thank you, master. Thank you, master. Master! Revenge. I must have revenge. I can sense the darkness within you. I will teach you the ways of the dark side. But you must prove yourself first. Master, I need your help quickly. I've ordered your reinforcements to return. No, I will destroy the jedi. I'll show you. You have failed me for the last time. And now you shall die. Dooku. [Exhales] You count on the salinity, the salt coming from the parmesan, or did you add additional salt? I backed off the salt just a hair, because of the salt in the parmesan cheese, yes. (Gordon) Come on, Derrick. (Derrick) I'm running out of time. The only thing I can do is just keep looking at my oven and see how my souffles are doing. (Gordon) How long, Derrick? Uh, momentarily. One minute to go. (Derrick) They're rising, they look good, but they still need a little more time. (Gordon) Derrick, 30 seconds to go! (Announcer) Share the joy of cooking with your kids with cooking kits as seen on MasterChef. These oven-ready kits are chef inspired for kids who cook by Kidsline. One minute to go. (Announcer) Derrick is the only home cook to make a second batch of souffles, but with only seconds left, will his decision leave him with nothing to serve? Ay yi yi. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Come on! [Clapping] Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Here you go. Light and creamy, predominantly gruyere cheese. I went for sharp, and, uh, there's some parmesan, intermixed throughout. I garnished it with some parmesan and some chives on top. Second attempt or third attempt? Second, chef. Second? This is your best? Yes. What kind of cheese predominantly? Predominantly gruyere with some parmesan in there. (Announcer) The judges must decide based purely on their souffle who will move on in the competition and who will be sent home. (Graham) Yeah, Jennifer. Jennifer, with the cheese flavor and texture. (Graham) With the chives, the question is... (Gordon) Yeah, interesting. Yeah, seriously. Yeah. It's close. [Judges speaking quietly] That was intense. And for us, so far, the most difficult pressure test ever on MasterChef. Okay. [Suspenseful music] ♪ ♪ Jennifer, step forward, please. What a journey. Yes, Chef. Last time you were in a pressure test, eggs were somewhat your undoing. This time... You've done them justice. Congratulations. Take your apron upstairs. Great job. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Derrick, step forward, please. (Derrick) To have Jennifer be safe, you know, and I look down, and I see those two guys, I'm just like, "wow, I think I'm goin' home." [Suspenseful music] ♪ ♪ Derrick, you were the only one that cooked two batches. The second attempt... Was delicious. Congratulations. Thank you, thank you. Take your apron upstairs. I'm surprised to see me and Adrien standing down there. (Adrien) I don't know what I'm doing being in the last two. But one of us is going home. This is really hard. I couldn't pray enough that they send Christian home. Adrien, step forward. ♪ ♪ Take your apron... Upstairs. Congratulations. (Christine) I cannot stop smiling. He's finally going home. Christian's outta here, and I'm just dumbfounded. Christian is the powerhouse. That's not what I expected. Christian... You haven't made many souffles? No. Yours... Was also delicious. Congratulations. Upstairs. Ohh! Ohh! Man, he's still here. Why? Why? Send him home. (Christine) Christian is staying. What the hell? (Gordon) Those souffles were phenomenal, all four of them. And that's why no one is leaving MasterChef. Wow. It makes me a little uneasy that the judges kept all four, because I realized who might be going home tomorrow. Congratulations for bringing top-level technique, restaurant-quality souffles. Thank you. Get some rest, 'cause tomorrow is one hell of a day. Yes, chef thank you. (Gordon) Well done. Thank you. (Announcer) Next time on MasterChef... I want you to taste this. (Announcer) Christian and Chef Ramsay face off. I've had better. You may want to be a [bleep] smart ass and start acting like an arrogant [bleep]. 'Cause all of a sudden, you shut down. (Christian) Am I gonna stand up there and butter Jen's ass? Hell, no, don't [bleep] throw me under the bus. (Announcer) And the cooks' childhood memories... (Suzy) Oh, my God! You look like you're on star search. (Announcer) Turn into their worst nightmares. That is one of your worst performances in MasterChef. (Announcer) And at least one more home cook's MasterChef dreams will come to an end. == sync, corrected by elderman == in the Atlantic -- And Florida could Be it's target. Action news has Complete breaking News team Coverage of the Storm. Fox30 Erica Bennett is asking Our leaders tough Questions about How we can Evacuate -- if the Main routes are Being worked on. Being worked on. Cowboys with six-shooters... covered wagons crossing the the plains, and Native Americans wearing war paint and feathers. These are the images most people associate with America's Old West. The Wild West as we know it tends to come from Hollywood movies. And that's a very cleaned up, sanitized version of what the West was really like. But might there be more to the story? Much, much more? When we think of the Old West, the last thing we think about would be Billy the Kid chasing a flying saucer across the desert. From cowboys, to lawyers, to doctors, to housewives washing the clothes and taking care of the sheep-- people were seeing things in the sky they couldn't explain. This is a replica of one of the bars that was in one of the light ships. And they're guarded by the Star People. Ancient aliens have been around for tens of thousands, if not millions of years. Why would they avoid the American Southwest? Millions of people around the world believe we have been visited in the past by extraterrestrial beings. What if it were true? Did ancient aliens really help to shape our history? And did the cowboys and natives of America's Wild West actually come in contact with alien beings from another-- much more distant frontier? What kind of a man goes around blowing up other people's cows? You got to believe me. There's white lights! There's bright lights! So there was this big light, and you fell in the river, and when you come back, two of my best hands has just disappeared. There weren't no lightning this evening. In the 2011 film, Cowboys and Aliens, a man awakens in the desert, with no clue to his past, except for a mysterious metal device shackled to his wrist. This may provide the key-- not only to his identity but to his ability to protect the town of Absolution from a deadly attack by alien spaceships. Based on the graphic novel by Scott Mitchell Rosenberg and directed by visionary filmmaker, Jon Favreau... Cowboys and Aliens skillfully blends the conventions of the classic Hollywood Western with the futuristic effects of an alien invasion film. But although Cowboys and Aliens it's the product or their creators imagination, there are those who believe this story might have a few roots in historical fact. Aurora, Texas. This rural southwestern town covers an area of just over three square miles. Headstones at the local cemetery mark the final resting places of the area's hard-working ranchers and farmers. But one body allegedly buried here has no marker at all. The Aurora's cemetery was founded in 1861 right at the start of the war between states. Texas' State Historical Commission has a marker here that states the cemetery is well known because of the legend that a spaceship crashed nearby in 1897, and the pilot killed in the crash was buried here. 50 years before, the United State's Army announced that a There was a report of a strange unidentified object that crashed on the property of a local judge. On an April morning in 1897 an airship supposedly run into a windmill on the property of a gentleman named Judge Proctor. The ship exploded in flame and was burnt to a crisp essentially. There was an explosion. In those days-- this is before television, before jet aircraft-- any big noise got your attention. Plus, the ground shook, and so they knew something tremendous had happened. A local reporter arrived on the scene; he reported that there was a large debris field, and also that there was the charred remains of what appeared to be to him an alien from another planet. The occupant described as unworldly by witnesses was given a Christian burial and put in an unmarked grave. In 1897, this was six years before the Wright Brothers actually made heavier-than-air craft work. So, uh, this is why I consider the Aurora spaceship crash the smoking gun of the UFO controversy, because this occurred six years before there was anything manmade in the air. Witnesses claimed that debris from the crash was recovered by local law enforcement and never seen again. Others claim that Judge Proctor buried it at the bottom of a deep well. For decades, the incident remained largely forgotten until, in 1945, a man named Brawley Oates, who had purchased Procter's land, reportedly was cleaning out the debris from the well when he later developed an extremely severe case of arthritis, which he claims to be the result of the contaminated water. He believed that the water from the well contained some sort of element to it that gave him a severe case of arthritis. It was a bad enough case of arthritis that it eventually killed him. So a lot of people today wonder if the well wasn't contaminated with some sort of radioactive agents, which was the rationale agents, which was the rationale behind his, uh, his arthritis. We find that people who are using that well actually got ill. And so what happens at a moment in time, is that the descendants of these people actually decided to cement the well. The incident at Roswell in 1947 also begins steering controversy about the Aurora incident. This time, concerning the strange body supposedly still resting in an unmarked grave. We, searchers, wanted to exhume the body, but the local cemetery association wouldn't let them. My first question is, why not? What's it gonna hurt? As a historian it makes me suspicious when somebody is trying to hide something from you. Tells you you can't, you can't do something. I first got onto the Aurora story back in 1973, and was, uh, there before the tombstone went missing, and actually probably one of the few people around who still remember where the actual grave site was. The grave was located right here. It was a short little grave. That of a child or a very small person. And the teeny little headstone, the marker, was right about there. A few years ago, scientifics with ground penetrating radar established that there really had been a short grave here. Now, back in 1973, Bill Case was the aviation writer for the Dallas Times Herald. I was working for the Star Telegram. We met up here. He had a metal detector, and we found three readings of metal in the grave. A couple of months after the headstone went missing, Bill invited me to meet him up here. We went over the grave, and there was no readings in the grave. He showed me three little holes that had been drilled in the grave. Somebody had extracted the metal out of the grave. In recent decades, further investigation of the crash site has turned up inconclusive evidence, including unusually high traces of aluminum at the bottom of the now-sealed well where Judge Proctor had supposedly disposed of the wreckage. Could the events that happened on a Texas farm in the early hours of April 17, 1897, really be evidence of an alien close encounter? Could it have been the first such event to occur in America's western region? Or was it only one of many? Adams Country, Ohio. At the end of the 1700s, President George Washington awarded what was then the unchartered land beyond the Appalachian Mountains to Revolutionary War veterans-- in 600-acre parcels-- as payment for their service. But when the settlers arrived, they found much of the land covered with thousands of Indian burial mounds. And one of these was very different from the rest. Imagine when you're pushing west, and all of the sudden you find this gigantic ephic iman in a form of a serpent. What you have is a gigantic structure but it just sits there in the middle of a fairy interesting landscape. Serpent mound was one of the amazing mysterious mounds found by the first that came over the Apalachian mountains. There are thousands of mounds, but Serpent mound must have been special. Like the Nazca lines in Peru, Serpent mound is a giant prehistoric structure that looks as though is meant to be viewed only from the sky. When you see the great Serpent mound in Ohio, is massively huge. And it can't really be appreciated when you're standing there, looking at it. What we have here is meant to be seen from the sky. It's mysterious in the fact that it is on an elevated plateau unconcealed from the world. Unless you're flying over in a plane, and it's on very uneven ground. And really, to lay that out and make it right, you'd almost have to be above, looking down to get it right, which is a mystery. This 1,330 foot long structure winds across the land and depicts a coiled snake, eating what appears to be an egg. It is the largest effigy mound in the world, and curiously, unlike most Native American mounds, the Great Serpent Mound was not constructed for burials. Serpent Mound had no burials. It's one of those mysterious mounds that offered us no clue as who the builders were but on the property there were burial mounds dated from about very early period, nearly 3,000 years ago. Another curious aspect of Serpent Mound is where the ancient Native Americans chose to build it-- on the outside swell of a five-mile wide meteor crater. 300 million years ago, a meteor came into this area and struck the Earth going about 50,000 miles an hour. The Serpent Mound is built right on the very edge of the crater. And there's magnetic anomalies and faults that go across the Serpent Mound and that the Native Americans could dowse them, and they could feel the positive energy that's coming out of the ground. If you bring a compass to the great Serpent mound, there are certain spots were the compass needle just keeps going. So, obviously, we have some weird magnetic fields there and also some gravitational anomalies. The myth has it that the Native Americans, when they came here, could see birds similar to passenger pigeons, or homing pigeons, circling by the millions. Because within the skull of the pigeon is a little piece of hematite, or magnetite, and that's how they navigate. And they couldn't figure out where north was. Can you imagine millions of birds flying in a circle five miles wide? In addition to creating magnetic anomalies, the meteor also deposited a number of elements not indigenous to the area, including one of the rarest elements on Earth-- iridium. When we look at the location of the Serpent Mound, we find that not only that there is iron, that there is uranium, but also iridium. Iridium can withstand temperatures up to 2,000 Celsius. It is non-corrosive. And it's actually been used in unmanned spacecraft. A lot of iridium apparently comes from outer space rather than being found on the Earth. There is a use of iridium for thermal electric circuits, These deep-space probes include actually a radioactive source, because it's the only thing that can provide enough power when you're out beyond Jupiter and there's no sunlight and there's no nothing. We have iron, iridium and uranium, three substances which definitely should not be considered to be of any use to Native Americans. The question then is, to who are they of use? Ancient astronaut theorists believe extraterrestrials may have come to this site to mine iridium for their spacecraft, and point to numerous caves found in the crater swell beneath the mound as evidence of this. Right here, we can see one of those caves. It's pretty large. And since this site is believed to be many, many, millions of years old, there's a chance that there are many, many caves. But if alien visitors really did come here to mine iridium and other elements, might this explain why the Serpent Mound was built on a scale that made its shape visible from the sky? The Serpent Mound is a marker for space according to the Shawnee Indians. They're convinced that space travelers are using Serpent Mound as a marker. According to Zuni Elder Clifford Mahooty, the Shawnee aren't the only Native Americans who believe Serpent Mound has an extraterrestrial connection. The Star ancestors talked the American Indians about where they came from. And how they're supposed to carry out their rituals. The mound builders I believe were those indian tribes that had contact with the extraterrestrials. It's the essence of our culture, and the mounds were a place where we would practice and learn from those beings that come in from outside of this world to visit. Ancient astronaut theorists also point to the placement and shape of the Great Serpent Mound as proof of its extraterrestrial origins. The serpent itself was aligned to a constellation that had its apex at the height of the night sky 5,000 years ago. The constellation Draconis-- it was used to align the Great Pyramid. In addition to lining up with the stars of Draconis, the coils of Serpent Mound also align with the solar events of the solstice and equinox, as well as the 18.6-year lunar cycle. Could these precise astronomical alignments suggest that the Serpent Mound served a greater purpose than just acting as a marker? Some believe that because of its magnetic anomalies, this site may also have been used to harness energy. These magnetic anomalies, these faults, attract lightning. The Serpent Mound is right on the edge of an outcropping of pure limestone or dolomite, which is even better than the limestone they built the Great Pyramid from, and it's highly semi-conductive. This is what I call the Serpent Mound stone. It's an unusual feature that seems to be made of a different kind of dolomite than what exists on the outcropping of the general serpent. This stone could've been placed in the center of the oval. Therefore, you wouldn't get a lot of random strikes, so much as you would a lot of strikes that would tend to come to the stone. Could the Serpent Mound have been a source of great energy? Might it have held an advanced alien technology that was somehow lost? When I look at a history of building ancient monuments like Stonehenge, the Sphinx, the Pyramids, the Mayan temples, what it tells me is no matter how technologically advanced we are today we've lost a knowledge of something tremendous that came thousands and thousands years ago. And it's a tragedy that not only have we forgotten how to utilize it, but we've relegated it to the realm of folklore and mythology. When the lightning lamps were eliminated, the native culture fell into the darkness again, about 5,000 years ago. But we know that if their prophecies hold true, the Serpent Mound will be reactivated again one day. And when that re-activation occurs, that'll be the beginning of the restoral of the earth. Was the Great Serpent Mound really a hub of ancient extraterrestrial visitation? If so, perhaps there is also truth in legends of other, even more bizarre, alien encounters in the American West. Palmyra, New York. September 21, 1823. In the upstairs bedroom of a log cabin, just south of this small, rural village, 17-year-old Joseph Smith had a vision of someone, or something, not of this world. It was late at night, it was dark, and the room filled with a very very bright light. And this personage was floating in midair, his feet was off the ground. And he identified himself as Moroni. After talking with Joseph Smith for a while, Moroni seemed to ascend into the air, completely leaving the room again dark. The next morning, also, Moroni came back to Joseph Smith to show him the hidden golden book, which is what we know as the Book of Mormon today. According to the Book of Mormon, Moroni identified himself to Joseph Smith as a man who lived in America in the late fourth and early fifth centuries. But America was not Moroni's home-- he claimed to have much more distant origins. Moroni claimed to be from the Pleiades star cluster. So a church today, nine million members strong, believe that their church may have originated not of this world, but of another world. According to Joseph Smith, not only the Moroni claimed to be from another planet he also directed him to dig up the golden plates from the hill Cumorah. What Scholars believe is a reference to an ancient native american mound, much like the Serpent mound. We have since found out that in burial mounds and other mounds across the Native American region we have such plates. These written tables have been found, and not just in North America, but also in South America. This entity tells Joseph Smith to go on a physical search for an object, which we know could have been an archeological finding. But if Moroni was a spiritual or metaphysical being, why would he give Joseph Smith physical objects with which to translate the plates? According to ancient astronaut theorists, Moroni may, in fact, have been a Star Being-- an extraterrestrial whose mission was to pass down to Smith and his followers the advanced knowledge of the mound builders. In Mormonism, actually a lot of their theologist is directly related to this idea of God and various angels and various spiritual beings live on different planets. According to Native American legends, the Star Beings left Earth thousands of years ago, at about the same time ancient astronaut theorists believe extraterrestrials left Egypt. But if Joseph Smith's vision of Moroni was real, might this have been not so much a spiritual encounter as an extraterrestrial one? If so, perhaps there were other such alien visitations-- ones, which in turn, fueled an increased interest in the stars throughout the 1800s. In the 19th century, people were very interested in astronomy There was some thought that there might be life on other planets. So, often times, lights in the sky were attributed to possibly visitors from another world. Joseph Smith felt such a strong connection to the Native Americans that he believed they could help guide him to a new holy land, which he called "the new Zion." Although Smith died in 1844 the victim of mob violence-- his successor, Brigham Young, ultimately led the Mormons further west to Utah. In 1849, when the Mormons arrived in the area of Parowan Gap, local Ute leader, Chief Wakara, told them they had entered "God's own house" and showed them proof in the form of petroglyphs dating back thousands of years. All throughout Utah, petroglyphs depict hunters with bows and arrows going after buffalo. Very ordinary, daily life occurrences. But there are also some other depictions, which are very odd. And they look like spaceships. They look like beings with halos. They look like beings with antenna on their heads, or beings that wear some type of a suit. For all intents and purposes, they look like depictions of they look like depictions of spacemen. Great Falls, Montana. October 19, 1865. Six months after the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln, a fur trapper reports what might be the first documented UFO crash in the Old West. In 1865, the Missouri Democrat reported that a trapper saw a light traveling through the sky at night. It flew over his camp, broke apart and crashed in the forest some miles away. The next day he tracked it down, found a large stone imbedded in the side of a mountain. It was hollow, it was cracked open; he claimed there were chambers inside of it, and there were hieroglyphic markings on it. And there was also some mysterious liquid spilled around the area. But the newspaper, you know, went so far as to suggest that these were meteoric conveyances of aliens from Mercury or Uranus. So, the whole idea of UFO crashes was explored in the 19th century almost a hundred years before Roswell. But what makes this story even more intriguing to Ancient Astronaut theorists is the location of the sighting-- along the upper Missouri River. This is the home of the Blackfoot Indians, a tribe whose ancient legends include strange tales of Star Beings visiting the region from other worlds. The Blackfoot have very profound legends in myth relating switch quite clearly * to * come down from some kind of sky-* to Earth and in these sky vehicles. And the way that they are described, these can be modern ideas of flying saucers or UFOs. Could the object that the Montana fur trapper claimed to have found really have been one of the alien crafts described in Blackfoot legends? And might the markings have been the same as what Joseph Smith found on the golden plates? To some Native Americans, like Chief Standing Elk of the Yankton Dakota Tribe, Star Beings are still very much amongst us-- and they are still making contact with humans. A lot of our relatives that come from the stars they speak on a telepathic level and there are some that came to me and showed me a bar with symbols on there. They talked to me, and I understood them very, very well. This is the replica of one of the bars that was in one of the light ships. And they represent the universal laws. And they're guarded by the Star People. So these are universal laws. Did early Americans really encounter what the natives called Star Beings as they crossed the frontier? And what other strange encounters might they have experienced as they made their way further west? Tombstone, Arizona. In 1881, this mining boomtown was the home of Wyatt Earp and the site of the gunfight at the O.K. Corral. Less than ten years later, it would become the location of one of the most bizarre UFO sightings in history. According to a story in the Tombstone epitaph in 1890 two ranchers were out in the desert of Arizona when they saw some sort of monsters with a huge wings. The body was described as being like an alligator and wings were described as memberness. There's another version of the story told by the cowboys when they were very old, they never really, they just shot at the bird and it got away. It was literally bullet proofed. There were a number of reports of big birds that cowboys would shoot at or chase for great distances And they reported the bullets would bounce off the leathery skin. But was the story of this giant bird simply a hoax, as many believe? Or was there some degree of truth to it? In the Old West, we have stories of these creatures that resided in mines. The ghost rider, which was this cowboy that was flying across the sky, but also of ghost trains. So, were all of those stories just campfire stories that were invented on the spot? Or were they based in some type of truth? For many Americans living in the early and mid-1800s, the vast western frontier offered both opportunity and profound sociological change. Freed of the constrictions of European tradition and Judeo-Christian fundamentalism, the early pioneers could now experiment with political, social and religious philosophies which their Eastern counterparts had frowned upon. One such newly emerging philosophy was called Transcendentalism. Transcendentalism was perhaps the leading philosophy developed in America in the 19th century. One of the founding figures in it was Ralph Waldo Emerson. It was belief in extraterrestrial life that led him to depart from Christianity, and another author who is part of that is the poet Walt Whitman. His most famous book 1855 was "The Leaves of Grass." And in "The Leaves of Grass," there are like 200 references to astronomy. He believed strongly in extraterrestrials. In a nutshell, transcendentalism reminded young America that all things are not knowable and that some things are knowable but not through the five senses. So it opened up Easterners as they went west to new ideas and new sights. Another strong influence on the way 19th century Americans viewed the world was the emergence of a new genre of literature, science fiction. I think the image that has come down to us from lots of movies and TV shows, that the cowboy is kind of a rough, illiterate character. Most cowboys were extremely literated. Face it, there was a lot of entertainment out in the plains. One of the first great American science fiction writers was Civil War veteran Ambrose Bierce, who believed strongly in the possibility of life beyond our world. Ambrose Bierce was an author of some very strange short stories. "The Difficulty of Crossing a Field" was about an Alabama farmer who one day was taking a walk across the field when he just disappeared. He was gone. And years later, his wife would say that she could hear his voice from time to time, coming from the circle, but he wasn't there. Ambrose Bierce was trying to show us that this man traveled inter-dimensionally to another place. And while he was still there, he wasn't there. It is thought by many scholars and historians that Bierce-- as well as other authors of early fantasy fiction-- had been influenced by Native Americans and their folklore. In addition to belief in Star Beings, they believed in the existence of inter-dimensional gateways or portals, which would enable visitors to travel between time and space. If you're thinking about like people suddenly disappearing through a hole in space time into another dimension at the surface of it when we think about out modern theory of relativity and that you can bend space and time it seems not so crazy, because we know mathematically how to describe holes in the space-time that connect different regions of space. The mystery of whether such portals really exist may have been ♪♪ by Ambrose Bierce himself. When he ventured south of the border into the Mexican desert. At the very early part of 20th century Ambrose Bierce was in northern Mexico, in this area that's known for strange phenomenon, called the Keymay, this area too is thought to be another one these interdimensional portal areas. One theory is that Bierce may not have traveled into Mexico alone. Another very colorful figure by the name of F.A. Mitchell Hedges may have traveled with him into Mexico. Mitchell Hedges was a great British adventurer, most noted for his discovery of a Mayan crystal skull. The ancient city of Paquime is just a few miles away from the Crystal Cave. The largest crystal deposits in the world are found here. Mitchell Hedges believed that his skulls were capable of psychically communicating with a person and interdimensionally transferring that message to an extraterrestrial being. The theory is that Hedges, along with Bierce, may have discovered or mastered the method of speaking through the crystals or employing their power, and may have transported, as in his stories, to an interdimensional space, never to be heard from again. While there, he sent his last communication that we know of, which was a letter, and that letter ended with this "As for me, I leave tomorrow for an unknown destination." The man who wrote about so many strange disappearances was never seen or heard from again. Did Ambrose Bierce meet with foul play, or did he find an interdimensional portal, like the ones described in his stories? Perhaps the answer can be found in a mysterious lake in California, one thought by many to be an actual gateway to another world. Elizabeth Lake. Southern California. This high desert body of water sits at the junction of the tectonic plates that form the powerful San Andreas fault. The Mexicans who colonized California in the 1700s called it Laguna del Diablo, Lake of the Devil. And it was said that the devil's own pet would come into this world through a portal at the bottom of the lake. Local legend says that at the bottom is actually an entrance to the underworld. They call it the Lake of the Devil. And it's said that in the middle 18th century from upon 'till about 1880's something was happening there which frightened locals. Some of the rich land owners built ranches there, these ranchers claimed to have been harassed and tormented by some sort of monsters beast that would come out of the water and steal cattle and menace the locals. The ranchers who claimed to have witnessed this beast called it, "The Thunderbird," and their description of it was nearly identical to that of the giant bird witnessed by cowboys in Tombstone in 1890. Eventually, one of the landowners got it in his head that he was going to hunt this creature down and sell it to the circus, so according to the story, this rancher was able to actually fire a few shots at this creature, which seemed to be bulletproof and metallic. The bullets bounced off. And after that encounter, the bird flew east, never to be seen again in California. Could this so-called Thunderbird really have been the same creature that cowboys shot at in Tombstone? And why was it referred to by locals as, "The Devil's Pet"? They didn't have the vocabulary that we have today. So when things happened that they couldn't explain, there was called the Devil's Lake, there was called the Devils' this or the Devil's that. Take it away from legend and you might find that this was a portal to another dimension. Which locals knew about and might have something to do with the fact that this mysterious entity was present at that very specific location. If a portal to another dimension or another part of the universe does lie at the bottom of Elizabeth Lake, might it also be possible that the Thunderbird was not really a creature at all, but something even more incredible. The Thunderbird was enormous, it made enormous noises, so the thunder part of it, it could sound like a jet engine. Was able to literally pierce and emanate fire. We have this large flying wing creature which gives us a thunder sound, and lights fly from it's eyes. That to me says it has to be dealing with some sort of craft. Native Indians in North America they know of course the bird. But now something different arrived. An object which could fly, which is bigger than the eagle but at the same time makes tremendous noise. So you have the creation of the Thunderbird. Even when the airplanes started going out up in the sky here in the southwest, they referred them as metal birds, as a matter of fact, wen the first wing craft landed in, the indians that were there actually went out there and worshiped the airplane. It makes me think of a concept called cultural tracking, which is the UFOs can mask themselves to appear as almost anything, you go back ancient China and they talk about the flying dragons, you go back to the ancient Egyptians and they talk about flying boats. You go to the Roman times and they talk about flying **. Perhaps that was just their interpretation or perhaps that's what they actually saw. Did the cowboys in Tombstone, Arizona and ranchers at Elizabeth Lake witness an alien vehicle? One that may have been visiting North America for thousands of years. The truth of the matter is there are some very interesting and incredible stories that come from the 1800s about flying objects and strange encounters and events. The Old West was not only deadly, bloody, but it was also mysterious. It was a time when people often encountered things that they didn't understand and had to make up stories to account for it. And you see this in nearly every society. How many things do we know today that were thought to be just impossible? I always try to keep an open mind when I hear a story and I may not believe, I don't disbelieve either. Aliens invade a quiet Western town, and terrified residents scramble for their guns in a valiant attempt to defend themselves. A mere product of Hollywood's high-concept imagination? Or are films like Cowboys and Aliens actually inspired by historical events? Stories that challenge everything we know or Stories that challenge everything we know or believe about ourselves? As we continue to explore the vastness of the universe and examine more and more of the mysteries of the Earth, are we getting closer to unlocking the secrets of our past, and opening a doorway to our future? * (Prisoners murmuring) Fucking faggot! (Screaming) Mother fucker! Don't ever fucking touch me! Fucking kill you! I'll fucking kill you, Puta! (Man) Let's go, let's go! Let's go! Smart, Rodriguez. Real fucking smart. 90 days, man. Get on in there. (Slow breathing) * I can't do it if you keep moving, coño. Coño, shut up. Testy. No, mama, you look fierce. (Giggling) * What did I tell you about bouncing that ball in here? Angie, honey, nobody could pick him up? No Ma, I told you, the car's in the shop. Is this thing straight? I can't do that right now. (Baby giggling) Hey, yo, E.! E.! Is that you? Yo fellas... Look what the cat drug in, kid! Yeah, oh! What's up? (Man) Watch it, watch it, stop the traffic! Look who here! Woo... What up, kid? Michael, puñeta, no lo toque. Let me get $20? What for? I'm going out. Okay... But you're going to wait for Papi, right? (Man) * Ya llego Enrique llego * Nah, but my freestyle is like... * Where are you tonight my love * Hold up, hold up, hold up. How come you got so big? You been eating those hamburgers. This man got a big butt, son. Look at the bun, look at the bun! I gotta break out. Wait, wait, what the fuck is that, E.? No, no, hey, your family right here. (Man) He ain't even got a piece yet and he... All right, all right, all right. (Woman) Look who decided to show up. (Mother) At, ay dios mio! Ay dios mio. My son is home. Oh, thank the Lord for bringing you home safe. Jeanette, can you help me with a couple of things In the kitchen please? Angie... Angie. I would like to thank God for bringing Kike home safe. Okay, Mami. Vamos niño. Niño? (Woman) Sorry, bro. You see this shit, right? You're lucky Michael's grown already, huh? Hey. Come here, papi. Man, you're big. I bet you hitting them out the park now, right? Hey, Mr. Rodriguez. It's a pleasure to meet you. Nice to meet you. (Baby) Papi! Hey, who's that... Come here! Look at him! You miss your uncle, right? Un besito, un besito, muah. (Woman) Grandma is coming. Ma, I'm leaving. Okay. Bye, mi amour. Bye. You going, Mike? Where you going? We're late... We gotta go (Door closing) Coming to the stage, from the BX. (Cheering and clapping) Please welcome, the one, the only... Vanessa! (Cheering and applauding) It cracks and clicks and the glass it rips to pieces, Too sharp. I sometimes slip between the creases I been building out your weakness. (Woman) Wow. Brow and bone structure bent to your likeness. I like this. Live in the middle with a piece of mind. Make like a mirror and turn me lovely. Face to face, and say you love me. (Woman) Yes! (Woman) Yes! (Crowd cheering) Yes! (Woman) Aw ma, you did your thing up there. I'm proud of you. Thank you. Let me talk to you for a second? Okay, you have one second... go. So I'm saying, I think you look mad sexy. You here with somebody? Yeah. All right, that's cool, ma. I'm kidding. I'm here with my friends. Got you, got you. So what's up? Let me get at you. You want my number? Yeah, I want it. I want to take you out. I could treat you real good, you know? Oh, word? Yeah. (Whispering) Trans what? Transsexual. Oh, for... For real? Hold up, you know, that's cool, ma. So, like, it's... it's gone, right? No, um... I still have a thing. You real freaky with it? What? Like... you suck dick? Um... I mean... No, I'm sayin', like, you like that? You suck dick? You don't even know my name. It's Vanessa, right? (Door closing) (Man) What do we got here? ' 95, two years grand larceny. '01, a year on arms possession, resisting arrest. Last bid's a three out of five. Drugs, possession and selling. Model prisoner for the most part Except a little hiccup at the end here. Okay, Rodriguez, you tell me. What's different this time? I ain't going back. You have to obtain and secure gainful employment Or you're going back up. Any police contact, you're going back up. Drug test come back positive, You're going back. What am I telling you this for? You know all this shit, right? Yeah... I mean, yes. I don't know if I believe you. Do you believe you? That's what matters, right? All right, get out my face and go get a job. See you next Tuesday. Thank you, sir. Yo, let's go kid, you taking forever. Ay mama, y este pajaro? Ay metamelo alli, hay asi. Jalame El pelo, macho! Mas duro harder, ay Si, haci es, papi! Yo, don't forget your panties. Dame ese salami, campe... Faggot! (Woman) I just want to know if he violated. (Woman) No, he ain't violate. So what, you love him? I mean, he do be calling me his wifey and shit, so... You lying. I mean, he better. I let him bust. In your mouth? Oh, you nasty ho. You a ho! Like you ain't. How it taste? I sucked on a pineapple candy before I did it. That's how you get the taste out. He is still nasty. So? (Schoolbell ringing) No, no, mama. Where do you think you're going? Where are we going? No Te preocupes. This is for the Morris Avenue companies, okay? Okay. Thank you, sweetie. (Man) Come on, let's go, let's go. Let's go! We gotta get these plates out. Come on we got table four waiting. Let's go! Jesus. Work, work, work, work, work, work! Ah, yes, hey! Pussy, pussy. Ow, ow, ow, hey! Ow, ow! Pussy, pussy. Down... ow! I feel like... Yes, bitch. (Playful chattering) Here you go, papa. Mmm, baby, you killing it. Thank you. This food is amazing. (Phone ringing) Michael... Do you mind not doing that at the table? Mmm, mmm, mmm. I got a surprise for you. Next week, me and you. I got tickets to the game, papa! You know, at the new stadium. Look at how close those seats are next to like, home plate. Check it out. What's the matter, you don't like the baseball no more? It's okay, I guess. Just okay, huh? You wouldn't understand. Okay, then tell me, Mike. Talk to me, make me understand. You don't like baseball no more? Fine, I get that. What do you like, Michael? Football? Basketball? You like school? Oh, I love it. (Angela giggling) Yeah? What'd you learn in class today? I don't know... the usual. Yeah? You weren't learning how to cut class With your little faggoty little friends? Enrique! It ain't like I never cut class before, But don't lie to me. Enrique! You can't follow me around, Papi. Sit down. I don't go following you around. What's up with your hands, man? Put your hands down and talk to me like a man. I didn't raise you to be like that. You didn't raise me! You can't just come in here and try to be "Papi" now. Well, I am your papi, I am! Dejalo, Kike. (Phone ringing) "Creating a vagina approximately "Seven centimeters deep in seven days, Although it can be more than this." I'm sure it will be. Ooh, this one is mad pretty, Vee. Look, you circled this one here. It look like a flower That's one dusty ass flower. Hater, ew. Don't turn the page yet, I'm looking. All these is nasty. No, they not, they beautiful. Taste good, too. Whatever! Michael ain't never even felt a pussy before. Probably ain't seen one neither. That true? Wanna feel mines? That's so OD... She gonna cut yo ass! Get your ass away from me. (All laughing) Sup with old boy from the club? Y'all do the nasty yet? No, bitch. Y'all so crazy. He might not want you to cut your pee-pee off. That nigga playing the trade. You told him? Yeah. He plays the trade! (Girl) Shut up, Antoine! He ain't after your ass, so why you worried about it? How he gonna want her After she told him she got a dick If he ain't playing the trade? Cause she's a bad bitch! (All laughing) (Knocking) (Woman) No, Mami, no. I cannot be bothered this week, I told you Saturday. I'm not being fresca, you know I love you. (Phone vibrating) Hello? Who's this? I can't believe I'm this fucking stupid. You're not stupid. Hector, no, come on. How's my little man? He's good. So go ahead. Tell me to go fuck myself. Tell me what a fucking bitch I am Because I don't know what a good man I'm losing. That's not what I was gonna say. I will tell you this... I wish we had more time. Somebody needs to go there and stomp that nigga, son! Entiende? Yeah, he lives up on Webster Ave, Right by my cousin Tina. Just say the word, E. Man, okay, And it's done, we got you, man, we got you. You don't have to worry about shit, entiende? (Man) We gonna fuck him up, E. I'll handle it. Oh, shit, this mother fucker's gonna do Some Lone Ranger type shit. Come on, man... talk to this motherfucker, man. Hey, you sure, E.? Yo, I got it. What the fuck, man? I don't know, B. Mira, Mira queing esta alli, Mira Que chulita! Ay yi yi... Tu viste eso? Her daughter, son? What are you doing, Angie? I'm getting ready for bed. Don't you miss me? Enrique, please not now, I'm tired. Yeah, what you tired from? Life. Life, huh? I thought you were tired from going With that new boyfriend of yours. What are you talking about? I don't got no boyfriend. No? No... what are you, deaf? Don't lie to me, Angie. I ain't fucking stupid. Look, I don't expect anybody to wait three years. That ain't natural. I was up north. You had to do what you had to do. But I'm home now. I don't want to see no dudes. I don't want to smell it. That's it. If you want me, it can only be me. Okay. You know I missed you, Enrique. You sure? Of course, stupid. Hold me. (Heavy breathing and moaning) * (Danny) Uh-oh, back that shit up. Enrique mento! Hey, Mike! Want to bat? Come on, Mike! Yeah... Yeah! Remember how we used to do it? Hey, he's gonna mess up the whole flow of the game. Dejalo, dejalo... Come on. That's gonna throw everything off. Danny, just throw the ball, dude. Man, he's gonna take my spot. All right. Remember how we used to do it in little league, right? Choke up on the bat, put your shoulder into it. Come on, throw him a nice juicy one so he can smack it! Yo, what if he hits a home run? Yo, just shut up and throw the ball, B. Okay. Ponsela, ponsela! Come on, Michael! Esta seria, aqui. Go, go! Go, run it out! Run Michael, run it out, run it out! Run! It's okay, that's okay. You want to take another at bat? No, it's okay. (Cell phone ringing) Ma, I'm gonna run, okay? Okay, mi Amor. Where's he going? I don't know... with his friends? (Woman) You can keep it up. One, two, three, four, five, six. Why you let him play with that shit for? Let him be, Enriquito. He's a little man, why don't you put a ball in his hand? Get him out there with the other kids? Do me a favor, E., Don't worry about raising my kids. They have me for that. Worry about your own kid. What's that supposed to mean, huh? I'm just saying, be a father to your own kid, that's all. Cayense, cayense la Boca. Be nice. Igualito a papi, no? Callate la Boca! What you talking about papi for? That nigga was never there. Yeah, E., and how are you any better? Stop it, puñeta! What are you saying to me right now? What the fuck, Karina? I told you not to curse in front of the fucking kids, You fucking fuck. * You said your mother was upstairs? Yeah, but she don't bother me though. Why don't you sit down? Make yourself comfortable, know what I mean? You did that? Yeah. Why you ain't talking? I'm talking. Why don't you come a little closer So you can hear what I'm saying? Know what I mean? Damn, you look sexy. Wait. What, they ain't real? Not yet. What you mean, not yet? I mean not yet. They gonna be real soon. It costs mad guap I just don't got right now. Well how much it cost? $400 a month. Ma, I got you, that ain't nothing. Just like that? Yeah. Just like that. You got me? Yeah. You... you got a candy? Come here. What? What do you mean, "what"? You see what time it is? What you got that shit on your head for? Take it off. Take what off? I said, take that shit off! Pa, papi, stop! Take it off! (Angela) Enrique, no! My hair! No! What? Pa... Angie, this shit ends now. Stop it... Enrique, no! Leave it alone, he's not hurting anybody! Papi, no, stop, I'm sorry! You don't disrespect this house. Sit the fuck down, right now. Don't do this, he's not hurting anybody. Put your fucking hands down. You're a fucking man, Michael, You're not a woman! No, no! Get your fucking hands... Why you doing this? Why are you defending this shit, huh? Don't you understand... this can't happen. You're supposed to have my back, Angie. Kike... Kike! Stop it... just stand still. Papi! Stop it! Papi, please stop! Shh. Papi! Stop, stop. I fucking love you. I'm not going to let you do this to yourself. Be strong, be strong. There you go. There you go... beautiful man. Viente nueve, trienta. You got 30 pills here. And you got the testosterone blocker. Okay? Otherwise you be growing a beard with tetas. You don't want that. That should take care of you for the month. Anything else? Um... Oh, you wanna get pumped... huh? You got the coins? Yo, damn, that needle's big. I can't believe you doing this shit. The price you pay for beauty. You want some, too? I'm just here for moral support, mama. You want anything on top? No, Papi would kill me. Okay, just the culo? Okay. Here... you can hold me if you want, mama. Oh, hell, no. Try not to move. Can you pass me that, please? This? Thank you. What the fuck? It is the fastest way. Does it look good? You gonna look hot, mamita. Yo, wait till you see this place, E. It's like an amusement park. They got like a butcher shop in there. They got a club in there. Yo, they got these like plush brand new seats, kid. I don't even know how they play baseball in there. It's like a hangout. What's up, bro? What the fuck are the chances, bro? You should see the way this nigga walks around Waving his arms and shit. That's wild, B, but come on don't worry about it. When Angie was pregnant, right, She had this... Um, they did the thing, you know where... Sonogram. Yeah, sonogram. They told me it was a boy, I was like wow. I gave that nigga my name. Enrique Michael Rodriguez. That's my name, son. Bro, I don't know what to say, man. I mean, I hear you, bro, I hear you. But the fuck, bro? What if that's his life, man, that's him. That's his life? That's my life... That's my boy, you understand? You know, he took that from me. He took that shit from me. Yes, Mr. Rodriguez? Can I use the bathroom? Come on, Michael, just go. You don't have to interrupt. Oye, papa, ven! What's up? Damn. What happened, huh? Damn! Rodriguez? Does this look like a beet salad, hmm? This just came back. My best salad just came back looking like that. Yo, I don't know... This is unacceptable. Fix me a new one... now. Is there a problem? All right, where do you think you're going... Come on... * You know, it doesn't look that bad. I actually think it looks kind of cute. What? I'm not pretty no more. You are beautiful. You hear me? Why did he have to come back? I wish he could have just stayed up there. You could have married Hector. You're just saying that. You're just saying that, okay? * You all right, B.? Huh... oh, yeah. I'm shakin', I'm shaking. Nah, I'm just getting started though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You ain't won nothin' all day. Come on... That's what I'm talking about, yo. What's good? How you doin', can I get in? My money good? Yeah, fuck it. All right. Cuanto? $100. a game, man. $100.? Man, roll 'em, man, roll them dice, dude. Shaking them down ain't gonna make no difference. (Man) All right, watch me. Come on six... here we go, baby, here we go. Four, five, six... Cee-lo! Yeah, yeah! Yeah, that's me, baby, that's me! What's up? Oh, shit. It's like that? Oh, hells yeah, it's like that. Yo! Run your pockets. And I like that watch. Que Te pasa. Take it off. Just chill, all right? (Man) Yo, E.! Who said he could play, man? You! You did that shit, E.! Yo, money was shitting in his pants, son. You did good, E. * Stop. I'm sorry, baby. I just don't want you pulling on it hard... That's all. So now I'm "baby" now? You don't like that... Baby? It's whatever. Come on, don't be like that. Don't be hitting me, I'll smack that fat ass of yours. Oh yeah? Yeah. Stop. Fresco. Hold up, hold up. I do something wrong? Nah. I'm saying I want the whole thing tonight. Oh. Wow. You cool with that? Yeah. Yeah? I don't want to see shit, a'ight? You won't see nothing. Okay. Damn. (Gasping) Damn. Can I ask you something? What's up? Well, you know when we met, How you said you were gonna take me out? Yeah. Well, how come you don't take me out? How come you only ask me to come to your room? What, you don't like coming over here? No, of course I do. I'm just saying, like... How come we don't we go out? You know like, to the movies, or to eat? Cause that shit is whack. I don't think its whack. Whatever. * That's pretty good. Mm-hmm. Asi. Papi, hi! Yeah, yeah, that's it. Damn. Excuse me, young man. May I? Let me show you how it's done. * (Laughing) I got something for you. What, for me? What is it? Go ahead, open it. E., it's beautiful... You can't afford this. Baby, Papi got paid... You like it? You like it? I heard you did a good job taking care of them When I was gone. Yeah. Hey, you wanna see something cool? Watch this. All right, you see the guy right there? Watch this. Watch him come for my finger. Thinks it's food. Watch, here he go. Ah, shit! (Laughing) You try it. Come on, Michael, it don't hurt. Give me your hand. Mete Tu mano right there. Watch that, the water. Yeah, just like... Hold it right there. Wait for him, wait for him. Ah! You see that? Yeah. Bites. Told you. Hey, um... And thank you too, for sending me those pictures... While I was up north. I don't know if I thanked you for that. You're welcome. Stop. Just make sure you don't ride the clutch too much. You want to give her a break every once in a while, So she can last. You pay for all this. Otherwise you'll be back spending your money. (Angela) Thank you. You're welcome. (Hector) Manny, it's okay, papa, I'll close her out. You sure? Yeah, esta bien. (Radio playing music) (Dance music on television) * Man, them sorry ass cats can't play no ball. You catch the game last night? Nah, just the lowlights. Yeah, you didn't miss much. (Toilet flushing) I don't want that shit. Slap that bitch right there. Everything going all right? Everything is everything. You got pay stubs for me? Yeah. Hey, what's up? Any police contact? Hey. Any police contact? Nah, nah. All right. Everything's looking on the up and up. Stay away from the bullshit. You're doing all right. I'll see you next week. All right. (Women giggling) (Angela) Enrique? Yeah, in the bathroom, ma. What are you doing? What do you mean? Isn't tonight Michael's school thing? Yeah, but I didn't think you were going. Now you got a hot date. It's not that big a deal. You're not embarrassed, are you? Of course not. I just thought you were working, that's all. I took off. For this? Yeah. Didn't your father ever teach you how to tie a tie? No, he didn't. You know... I didn't mean to make you do anything You didn't want to do. I'm chillin' yo. Oh shit, my dude... That's a nigga right there. No gas, no gas! Oh! You just gonna stand there? You're not gonna say anything? Yo, what you want me to say, yo? It ain't like they lying. You know, you're fucked up. Yo. Yo, you ain't my girl. You need to chill the fuck out, a'ight? Oh, so I'm good enough for you to fuck And for me to suck your dick, But I'm not your girl? Well, then fuck you... fuck you! Yo, you good? I'm good, yo. Wait, Chris. Get the fuck off me, man! Then go, go! Get the fuck outta here, maricon! So Michael is one of my favorite students. Rodriguez. Sorry? Michael Rodriguez is our son. No, yeah, I meant Michael Rodriguez. He's got a knack for poetry. He writes beautifully, you know. It must be difficult for you, though. How so? Well, I mean with the issues Michael's having. You know, the... His refusal to use the boy's bathroom, The eyeliner in class, et cetera. You know, all the things you and I spoke of A month ago Mrs. Rodriguez... You made me look like a fool in there. It isn't like that, Kike. Listen. No, I have been listening. You been keeping a lot of shit from me. I'm supposed to find out from his teacher? How the hell you think that makes me look, huh? He's walking around out here, Going to the fucking girl's bathroom? What the fuck's that say about me? I'm sorry, I thought this was about Michael. Don't fucking start, Angie! You don't need that shit anyway. Like, not at all. Wait, check you out. Girl, you ain't all churchgoing goody two shoes. Look at that frumpy old church. It moved, God moved. Shut up, puta. Kike, please! What the fuck. What the fuck is this? What the... Oh... Enrique. That's my son. No... not my boy. Kike, listen. No. You didn't notice your shit was missing? Don't blame me for this, E.! What the fuck were you doing this whole time? I was working, pendejo! Where were you, huh? Tough guy? No. Where were you? Angie, you don't get it. The shit that... Goes down behind those walls. You can't understand. And here, my son wants to be like this. (Music playing from club) (Woman) All right! So we ready to keep it going? Let's welcome up to the... She needs no introduction. Vanessa from the Boogie Down! (Cheers and applause) Show 'em how it's done. I'm trying something a little bit different. I am standing right here. Tucked in the mess of my own fear. Far from fine. In your eyes I seem to fall farther and faster Than you have time to catch me. From a boy balanced on his shoulders Who can take on the stars. Where were you from bedtime to dawn? Tucking me in, instead of ducking out. Where are your arms when I just need them To wrap around and hold me? I am standing right here, just as you left me. I am begging right here for you to see me. I will try and I will try. I'll try to be whoever you need me. See me. (Cheering and applauding) Right there in front of your fucking boy, I don't give a shit. Papa! Vente. Ven aca. Vamanos. Where we going? We're going for a little ride. (Woman) Entra. You can sit down. Not me, Michael. Have a seat. Este es Tu hijo? Si, ese es... hagale un hombre. Mira. No Te preocupes. Él no habla español muy bien. ¿Ah, no habla español? That's a pity... (Door opening and closing) You have pretty eyes. Anyone tell you that? Shh, shh. It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you. Give me that. Aqui. Ay. Ay, that's it, papi, Mira, asi. It's okay, papito. Shh, shh, shh. Sweet, sweet boy. Shh... Shh, shh. (Crying) Tate tranquilito, shh, shh... (Micheal crying) * (Crying) Where is he? Kike. Did you hurt my baby? No, I... You son of a bitch. What did you do, where is he? Where is he? I don't know! You're going to find him. As God is my witness, you are going to find him. Yes... yes, you! I'll call the police, I swear to God. I swear to God I will throw you back in that cage If you don't bring my baby home. Baby, how the fuck am I supposed to know Where he is? I don't give a fuck! I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck, you will figure it out. Go, go, go! Okay, okay. Fuck, I'm ready to go inside and get in shape. I think my baby girl is in for a treat tonight. (Man) Yo, that's the shorty that wanted me to wifey it up, But she let the next nigga hit it. I was like, "How you want me to wifey it up" And you let dude hit?" Shit, that's why you can't trust these bitches, man. (Pete) Can't trust niggas, neither, man. Yo, she even got the name "Danny" tattooed on her pussy, But I don't know if it was for me, 'Cause that nigga's named Danny, too. (Laughing) Nah, that shit ain't funny, Tico. A'ight! Yo, I don't think Michael's around here. Yo, just keep driving man. Yo, stop the car. Yo, Pete, let me get that ratchet... You all right, B.? (Club music playing) Yo, come with me. You all right? Where y'all going? What you want, man? Yo, just get back down there. Yo, what the fuck man? Just shut the... Shut the fuck up. Right there, turn around. Look at me. * Open your legs. Open your fucking legs! I got a wife and kids, man. Yeah, you got wifey? Yeah? Open your fucking legs! You like to touch wifey? Huh, huh? Motherfucker! E., E.! Come on, lets go. Come on, man. E.! Huh? You good, B.? Yeah. Come on, man, let's go. Come on. Come on, we gotta go, we gotta go. (Club music thumping) (Cell phone vibrating) Hello? Okay. Okay, thank you. He's at Hector's. It's not me he's running away from. 17 years, Kike. I gave my life to you. It was hard, but I did it. I put my trust in you because I knew You would take care of us. But now my baby's out there. E., I don't know what happened to you up there, But it has nothing to do with Michael. The boy loves you. He needs you. We need you. * (Knocking) (Door creaking open) (Manny) Hold it, hold it. Right there, right there. I just want my family. Can I talk to him? Son. Um... I know I've made a lot of mistakes. I still don't know what I'm doing, you know. I never meant to hurt you. My son. My boy. My baby boy. My flesh and blood, pa. But you ain't no baby no more. You can make your own decisions. We want just want you back home, son. Just come back home. All right? (Whispering prayer) * Get the fuck off! Get the... Wait up, wait up! Michael... Michael! Michael... Micheal! Micheal! * I must say, Penny, this is great fun. Glad you're enjoying yourself. Until I met you and Bernadette, my trips to the bathroom had been entirely focused on elimination. Now they have a delightful social aspect. Amy, you must've been in the bathroom with other women before. Of course I have. But they were strangers and seemed off-put when I engaged in friendly stall-to-stall chit-chat. Some women don't like to get chummy when their panties are down. You okay in there, bestie? I'm fine... The reason I ask is that many people experience bladder shyness; the inability to pass uri... Yeah, I said I'm fine. Stop talking to me. She always this crabby when she urinates? We're really not that close. Screw it. I'll go later. And I'll be right by your side. Did I tell you Priya invited me and Howard to have dinner with her and Leonard? Oh, that's nice. No, it's not. It's a strategic maneuver. Leonard's new girlfriend is testing Bernadette's loyalty to you and the group. That bitch is crafty. - You think? - Of course. How does the cheetah attack a herd of wildebeests? By going after its weakest member. Well, what makes me the weakest member? Your trusting nature coupled with your teeny-tiny body. You wouldn't last a minute on the Serengeti. Okay, Amy, you're being silly. I'm not concerned about who hangs out with who. And I certainly don't have a problem with Leonard's new girlfriend who wears way too much makeup. Ooh, these are cute. Of course if I buy them, I'll have to rent my womb out to a gay couple. It doesn't matter. I'm going to tell her we can't make it. Oh, no. You have to go. I don't understand. I thought I was a teeny-tiny wildebeest. You are-- with hair that smells like strawberries. And we're going to use that to our advantage. Wait. What are you talking about? By accepting the invitation, Bernadette becomes a double agent inside the enemy camp. She could ferret out Priya's tactics, identify her weaknesses and feed her false information, such as: Leonard's no stranger to back-alley cockfights. I don't know. I'm not a very good liar. They kind of whup that out of you in Catholic school. Don't worry. I'll teach you. I did two years of Cub Scouts before they found out I was a girl. Okay, I don't know you people. I'm just an innocent woman wondering if this shoe store will take my Texaco card. How do you feel about concealing a recording device in the cleavage of your ample bosom? I don't want anything in my ample bosom. Come on, Strawberries. Take one for the team. ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ ♪ Bang! ♪ ♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x22 ♪ The Wildebeest Implementation Original Air Date on May 5, 2011 == sync, corrected by elderman == - Okay, see you later. - Good news. I finally have a handle on my idea for three-person chess. That is good news. Bye. Uh, do you know how I solved the balanced center combat-area problem? Five words: transitional quadrilateral to triangular tessellation. That... that's brilliant. It's what I do. But wait, there's more. I also invented two new chess pieces. The serpent... and the old woman. Okay, now I have to ask. What do they do? When the serpent slithers to an opposing player's piece, that piece is considered poisoned and will die after two more moves. All right. Unless... it gets to the old woman in time, in which case she sucks out the poison, turning her into the Grand Empress: a piece combining the power of the knight, queen and serpent. Elegant. That's because it's simple. Okay, well, I look forward to playing with you. And... And what? And a third person. It's three-person chess. I must say, ever since you started having regular intercourse, your mind has lost its keen edge. You should reflect on that. Excuse me, but Einstein had a pretty busy sex life. Yes, and he never unified gravity with the other forces. If he hadn't been such a hound dog, we'd all have time machines. Got it. Bye. You know I'm right. I think he's getting worse. Oh, my metatarsal are barking. - You okay? - Yeah, yeah. I'm just breaking in some new shoes. - Very pretty. - Thank you. Did you know that women wear high heels to make the buttocks and breasts more prominent? Hadn't really thought about it. Look. Uh, sure. Very... prominent. Please, Leonard, don't leer, you have a girlfriend. - Sorry. - So, are you off to dinner with Priya, Howard and Bernadette? Yeah. How did you know? I heard it at the mall, when I was shopping with my girlfriends, 'cause, you know, that's kind of my life now. Have a good night. Try not to ogle my caboose as I walk away. - Hey, you. - Hi. Hey, Raj, will you be joining us for dinner? The lonely guy and the two happy couples? I'd rather get a prostate exam from a leper who walks away with nine fingers. Oh, would you please stop feeling sorry for yourself? I have to feel sorry for myself. I'm the only one who cares. Just like I'm the only one who'll have sex with me. Really? In front of your sister? We shared a room growing up. This is not news to me. Excuse me. I'm going to go wander the streets alone. Invisible, unwanted and unloved; a pathetic shadow in a city with no heart. I forgot my windbreaker. It's chilly. I don't understand. Is this a way to break in new shoes? No. Once these puppies touch the ground they're mine, and I'll have to wear them walking up and down Hollywood Boulevard in order to pay them off. Pretty, pretty, pretty. Good news: the wildebeest is in the curry. The what? Bernadette is with Priya and Leonard. Message received. Commence operation "Priya Wouldn't Wanna Be-ya." Hey. Seriously? Didn't you get enough of this cliquey crap in high school? I wish. A clique requires friends. - I didn't have any. - None? I used to take my lunch down to the maintenance room and eat with the janitor. It was nice until his wife called me a puta and made me stop. Hang on. It's the wildebeest. Priya just made a snide comment about your acting career. W-What the hell did she say? She thinks it's cool you're following your dream, no matter what. That bitch! How do you want to handle it? Um, okay. Tell Bernadette to tell Priya that I'm on my way to Prague to shoot a movie with Angelina Jolie. Got it. Is it going to be in 3-D? What? I don't know. It doesn't matter. I'm gonna say 3-D. That'll let her know the studio has faith in it. You're kidding. 3-D? That's what I hear. Then the studio must have real faith in it. Wonder why she didn't tell me. Have you been spending time with your ex-girlfriend? No... Then why are you surprised she didn't tell you? Well, it's not as much "surprised" as you know... uh... the other thing. What other thing? Well, if you... uh... I don't... oh... What's the word I'm looking for? I'm not going to help you. This is hilarious. She's also dating an astronaut. Wow. That's very impressive. Yeah. But Leonard's impressive, too. Thank you. "Befuddled." The word I was looking for was "befuddled." Knight to old woman... six-and-a-third. Brilliant move. Thank you. Will the two of you excuse me? I need a hug. Sorry, I have company. Come on, Sheldon, open the door. I don't want to hug you. I don't want to hug you, either. I was just feeling blue. Blue, as in depressed. Well, not so much depressed as lonely. I don't know what color lonely is. - What? - Red is angry; yellow is frightened; green is jealous; and blue is depressed. Perhaps we can assign a color to lonely. Nothing rhymes with orange. It's probably lonely. All right. Come in. You look positively orange with loneliness. No, I don't see that catching on at all. What are you doing? I'm working on my three-person chess game. Oh, cool. Can I play? It's three-person chess. Did you bring a friend? No. Then as a mental exercise I invite you to figure out why the two of us can't play three-person chess. Can you believe this guy? Social protocol does, however, require me to bring you a hot beverage in your time of need. No, thank you. I'm fine. It's not optional. We're out of tea. I hope you like bouillon. I, uh, I guess you're probably wondering what's got me down. Actually, I was wondering if I could add a third new chess piece. How do you think people would feel about Prince Joey-- the king's feeble-minded but well-meaning cousin? I'm going to be 30 years old, and I have no one in my life to love me. I'm such a basket case, I can't even talk to a woman without having alcohol in my body. The fun thing about Prince Joey is every time he moves, there's a one-in-five chance he'll kill himself. Sheldon, listen to me. I have a big decision to make, and I'm scared. Yellow. Go ahead. A friend at the School of Pharmacology gave me these new pills they're testing. He says it's the next big thing for social anxiety disorder. Fascinating. What's in it? I'm not sure. Some sort of beta-blocker attached to a molecule extracted from the urine of cows. I like cows. That's not the point. It was its own point. Go on. I'm a scientist. My ability to think is my bread and butter. I'm afraid if I take this, I might lose that special, unique something that makes me so successful in my field. Rajesh, I've had the privilege of working alongside you for many years. My recommendation is that you gobble these up like Tic Tacs. Okay, I'm still trying to work this out. How did Penny meet an astronaut? I don't know. The regular way people meet astronauts. Most of those guys live in Texas. Obviously, this one doesn't. Okay. Leonard lives here. Priya's from India. People meet, Howard. God! Fine. You've met lots of astronauts, and I've never grilled you about that. I'd thank you to extend me the same courtesy. I'm not grilling you; I was just curious. I still can't get over the fact that she got a big movie part. Not that I care what my ex-girlfriend's up to, 'cause I don't. Maybe that's where she met the astronaut, all right? I'm sorry. What would an astronaut be doing working on a movie? He's a consultant. I thought the movie was about 18th-century Vienna. He can't have a hobby? ! Excuse me, I have to pee. Or is that implausible, as well? ! It's nice to have another couple to hang with, isn't it? All right, guys, you have to go back. I can't afford you. No, don't send us away; we love you. I love you, too, but you cost more than my rent. But, Penny, you look so good in us. Damn it, the shoes are right. Good golly, Penny, your whimsy is boundless. What do you got for me, wildebeest? I think they're on to me. The story's starting to fall apart. Calm down. Everything's going to be okay. We may have to kill her. Bernadette, I'm putting you on speakerphone. Where are you now? In the bathroom. Oh, look at this, another one of our classic bathroom gabfests. What's the problem? They're just asking me all sorts of questions I can't answer. Just change the subject. I suppose I could get them back to talking about Leonard going to India to meet Priya's parents. What? ! They said something about going there this summer. What, are they getting engaged? I don't know. I was too busy covering my heinie on Amy's stupid astronaut story! What astronaut story? You texted me Penny's dating an astronaut. I texted "architect." That's amusing. Auto-correct must've changed it. Yeah, it's hysterical. All right, look, just forget about the astronaut. Architect. Where would you have met an astronaut? Look, just find out what's up with this trip to India. I don't want to do this anymore! Don't you quit on us! Bernie, you okay? It was an architect! Thank you for coming with me, Sheldon. You're a good friend. I'm glad you think so. That's what I strive to emulate. Okay, let's see if this drug works. Can I help you? Forgive me for staring, but you're very beautiful. Thank you. That's a great accent. Where are you from? India. Oh, cool. I've always wanted to go there. It's a beautiful country. You'd love it. May I join you? Uh, okay, sure. Why not? My name is Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, and this is my friend Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Hi. There's no need to interact with me. I'm just here to observe. What's he observing? We're scientists. We observe everything. Here, go buy yourself a scone. All right. - And what is your name? - Angela. Oh, derived from the word "angel." Appropriate. You're cute. I'd like to buy a scone. Oh, I'm sorry, we're out. We have muffins. They sound delicious, but this money is earmarked for scones. What are you doing? ! Oh, just getting comfortable. So how long have you lived in Los Angeles? I... They were out of scones. Sheldon, I'm talking to someone. You're being rude. I'll bet you're an actress. If not, you should be. You have a very expressive face. Oh, my God. Wait, where are you going? We were doing so well. She never even got to see my penis. Ta-da! Who wants some more coffee? Thanks, yeah. Sure. Let me help you. Nice to see that the gals are getting along. "Gals"? Who are you, Fred Flintstone? This trip to India sounds fun. Yeah, I think it will be. Are you concerned your parents might not approve of Leonard? A little. They're very old-fashioned. Well, I wouldn't worry about it. It's not like you guys are getting engaged, right? Oh, God, no. We're not there yet. Not engaged. Very interesting. I have to tinkle. You've been in there a lot tonight. Are you okay? Yes. Are you writing a book? Why are you getting upset? I'm not upset. Maybe you're upset. What's up with you? Bernadette? I can't do this anymore! I'm a good girl! I went to Catholic school! Okay, well, it's getting late. This was terrific. You win. Bernie? I think the word you're looking for is "befuddled." My catapult flings my bishop to Howard's Queen's Gorilla two. Nice. Okay, rook to transporter pad. And he comes out at Leonard's Queen's Bishop five-and-a-third. Check on Leonard. Hang on. When is my pawn allowed to use the golf cart? When it's done charging. Or you land on the time machine. Obviously. Oh, oh... Beekeeper to King 12. I capture your pope and release the swarm. Checkmate on Sheldon. I knew I should've given my pope the jet pack. Hey, I've got winners. == sync, corrected by elderman == What did you say to Gus? Because he's on to us. Yeah. I didn't say jack. What do you mean he's on to us? He's walking to his car. Then suddenly he isn't. I was. (SHE SCOFFS) Exactly - "was". How long? (SIGHS) 18 years. And how many times did you do the dirty on her? Never. Well, it's my life, and actually, I really like it. Oh, yeah, so what about the drugs? The meth? See, I think you've got one... maybe two months before your teeth start falling out. Come on, Jenny. Eh? See, the thing is, I don't think you're doing this by choice. Not really. That's just a cuddly thought so you can sleep at night. Nah. Need the coinage, rent to pay. What do you want? All right. Well, I can tell I'm not gonna change your mind, so why don't you just call your mum, let her hear your voice? It's not my voice she wants to hear. She's no different from the freaks that get off on these films. It's not who I actually am that matters. It's who they wish I was. Jen! - I... - Tell her I'm fine. All right, that's it, the show's over! Come on, show's over. Oi, oi, oi. Jenny Jones... - Get off me! - ... I'm arresting you on suspicion - of possessing a controlled substance. - Get off me! You do not have to say anything, but if you do not mention... Agh! Help! (SHRIEKS) Help! What did I do? Didn't find any drugs! Search me, I don't take drugs. - I'm clean. - Can you do me a favour? - (MOBILE BUZZES) - Can you shut up for one second? - I'm clean! I'm clean! I'm clean! - Justin. Did you get a beat on that DNA? Er, yeah. Cameron Pell, artist. Well, failed artist. A history of mental illness? No. The man's got serious issues. Five years back he was arrested for gate-crashing some modern art exhibition. He's burst in wearing a clown mask, slashed a load of paintings with a flensing knife. When they tried to throw him out, he's gone completely Tonto. Cut up two doormen. Lucky to escape an attempted murder charge. - Right. Did you get an address? - I'm gonna send it to you now. All right, urn... - I'll see you there. - Yeah, see you there. - You off to arrest someone? - Yeah. You're screwed then cos I'll do you for false arrest. I had reasonable and probable cause to think you were committing a crime. - Listen, one more peep out of you... - (LAUGHS) - ...and it's with intent to supply. - You're a liar. And you're a junkie hooker. I'm a copper. Do that, would you? Stitch me up? Yeah. In a millisecond, just to shut you up. Do you even know what they'll do to me for this? They'll break my ankles, if I'm lucky. Listen. Look at me. Nothing's going to happen to you, all right? Yeah, who says? You? - Yeah, me. - They do know where I live, you know. People like that, they always do. Come on. Mark, I wouldn't do this unless I absolutely had to. Do what? John, who is this? Where am I? What part of London is this? Well, if I tell you that it wouldn't be a safe house, would it? And you wouldn't be in protective custody. And besides, it's only for an hour. (GROANS) You do know what they'll do when they find me, don't you? (PHONE RINGS) (BEEP) WOMAN: Pick up, come on, come on. Bitch, pick up! All right, now listen. Have you done as you were asked? Have you? (HANGS UP) RIPLEY: No sign of Cameron. Flat's completely empty. LUTHER: Why the empty flat? LUTHER: It's almost like he's never been here before. (PHONE RINGS) Hello, your call cannot be taken at the moment, so please leave your message after the tone. (BEEP) MAN: I know you're there. Benny, it's Ripley, mate. I need you to trace a call going to this number, yeah? Hello, Cameron. How's your arm? (DISTORTED) You think, because you tasted my blood, that you know what I am. Well, to be fair, I am standing in your flat. You don't know what I am. - And you don't know where I am. - Where are you? Everywhere! I can walk down any street. I can peer... - He's close, less than a mile. - I can knock on any door. I am the shape at the window. I am the hand under the bed. So what's the play, Cameron? Cos that's what it is, isn't it? It's a play. With Cameron Pell starring as Mr Punch. Do you know anything about this city? Well, I know that it smells a bit funny when it gets hot. This, now, everything, this place, this time, this cretinised culture. - We are the richest, most decadent... - Less than three minutes. ...people that ever lived. And still we're dissatisfied. We have lost our history. We have lost our myths. You see, kids in Whitechapel play video games in which they score points by killing prostitutes. (SIREN BLARES) They're totally indifferent to the spectre that walks past their window. (SIREN BLARES) This is a dead city. - It's an unreal city. Do you know why? - (MOUTHS) No, why don't you tell me why? We are so indifferent that we don't care. - It's like we're medicated. - How are you going to make us wake up? I'm going to remind people what it's like to be really scared. Have you ever heard of Spring-Heeled jack? (LAUGHS) Spring-Heeled jack? I've heard of Spring-Heeled jack. Victorian bogeyman. Mask, red eyes. Are you cribbing your ideas from penny-dreadfuls? They called him the Terror of London, and do you know what made him terrifying? He could do whatever he liked to whomever he chose, wherever he chose, whenever he chose, and he was never caught. He just disappeared, passed into folklore. Oh, yeah? - Is that what you want to do, eh? - I've already done it. You just don't know it yet. Are you sure about that? Because the last time we spoke you were pretty scared that I was gonna ruin it. - Nice one, mate. - Yeah, I was, but not any more. Why should I be scared? I can take anyone I choose. You can watch. - Later tonight. - What do you mean? I hope you're excited, because I am. Watch what, Cameron? Hey, Cameron, what do you mean? What are you going to show me tonight? Eh? Cameron! - How long? - Less than a minute. Too late. He's gone. (PHONE CLATTERS ON FLOOR) What time is it? Well, it's late. - He said he'd only be an hour. - Yeah. I need the loo. No key. (SIGHS) Aren't you tired? Opposite. You? - I'm absolutely knackered. - Get some sleep. Lie down, chill out, make yourself at home. Yeah, wake up and find all my credit cards gone. How do you know him? That gavver? - Gavver? - Smurf. Billy Filth. Cos you're obviously not one of them, no offence whatever. No offence taken. Well, um... it's a long story. So give me the edited highlights. OK. OK, long story, short version. I was going to marry his ex-wife. (CHUCKLES) Seriously? ! What, and now you're mates, and everything? (CHUCKLES) Well, mates is probably pushing it. So where is she? His ex, your missus? She died. Ouch! Sorry. - Mouth on me sometimes. - That's all right. You weren't to know. - What about you? How do you know him? - Don't. Not really. As far as I'm concerned, he's this random smurf popped up out of nowhere. So why the...? Long time ago my dad killed this girl. It was by accident and everything, but... he panicked. Cut her up and whatnot. - Put all the bits in wheelie bins. - Jesus. I'm sorry. So this bloke, Luther, was one of the coppers that put him away. And your dad? Killed himself in prison. Jenny, listen, I know how hard... how hard it can be. Losing someone that way. (TRAIN RATTLES BY) Where is Cameron? I haven't seen Cameron for two years. I don't know what you expect me to tell you. No offence, but I think you do. So, you were at art school together? Well... I was at art school. He'd hang around the refectory. Sort of, you know talking art. LUTHER: Did he ever talk about this? (LAUGHS) Spring-Heeled jack? Yeah. About ten zillion times. Yes, it was his childhood obsession. Spring-Heeled Jack's in the cupboard. Spring-Heeled Jack's waiting at the bottom of the garden, in the bushes. He had to see somebody about it. A psychologist or a psychoanalyst. Anyway, they teased him about it. It made him feel like a freak. I suppose he was a freak, really. Still is. A freaky little freak. Did Cameron ever hurt you? No. - Why did you hesitate? - Because sometimes... he'd get this look in his eyes. What look? Like he wanted to. (KNOCK ON DOOR) - Boss... sorry, this is urgent. - Yes? (DOOR SLAMS) It's him. You're gonna wanna see this. - What is it, Benny? - This has just come in. LUTHER: Is this live? Yep, it's happening right now. It's live. Jesus, some sort of hand-held webcam, or something. It's being sent to us directly. He's taunting us. - LUTHER: Do we know the street? - Can't tell. I want everyone on this. We need to find that street. - Partial plate. - Dig it up. Give me an address. - Benny, can you send it over? - Yeah, it's with you now. LUTHER: Gray, quick as you can. Come on. Erin! He's knocking on doors. - Gray, come on! - It's coming, it's coming! There's 80 vehicles with that partial. Benny, can you narrow down the model? It's a light-brown... gold BMW 5 series. - Please don't open that door. - Late '80s, early '90s. - LUTHER: No answer. - BENNY: Thank God. - Got it! Registered to Grant Morrison... - BENNY: He's gone to the other house. - ...37 Eastmead Street. - RIPLEY: Wait, let me double-check. - ERIN: What? - He might be parked on the next street. Could be outside his girlfriend's house, might have lent his car to a mate. Eastmead Street runs alongside a canal and that's... Where the hell is this? Come on, find it, find it. Check every street within half a mile north to southwest of Eastmead Street. LUTHER: Don't open it. No. No! No, no! No, no! Er, it's Egmont Terrace, two streets southwest. All right, call it in. This is DS Gray, SSU, requesting urgent armed response to Egmont Terrace, E1. And send an ambulance. (INHALES SHARPLY) Did something happen? DS Gray DS Ripley, please escort Miss Calvert home. This way, please. Right, this way, please. How are you feeling? I'm angry. Too angry? Just angry enough. Because I can't have the wheels coming off this thing, John. They won't, Martin. I fought tooth and nail to get you back into the fold. I fought hard and I fought dirty. Don't squander it now. - I was just wondering... - Yeah? Would you mind just coming up with me? Just to check under the bed, that sort of thing. - I just keep thinking... - Of course, that's not silly at all. OFFICERS ON RADIO: All units, Sierra Oscar 52, IC1, dark clothing, medium-length, light-brown hair. - Suspect at large. - Give me 9-0 in the town centre, please. I live just upstairs. - (PHONE RINGS) - It's the shop. Do you want a cup of tea? I'll just check upstairs. (CLICK) Sorry, it's just a fuse. (SCREAMS) Oh! (CLEARS THROAT) Ripley, all clear on the house. I'm just going to make sure Miss Calvert's all right. OK, copy that. (HEAVY BREATHING) It has come back on you like the hand of God! ♪ Come on, now ♪ With time slipping away, yeah ♪ How do you say what I do? ♪ Oh, you've got nothing to say ♪ Oh, no, no ♪ When I tell you who's who - ♪ Oh, yeah, cos I'm the big, bad wolf - ♪ What you say? - ♪ I'm the big, bad wolf - ♪ What you say? ♪ I'm the big, bad wolf... ♪ Ripped By mstoll The polar winter. This is the planet at its most hostile. Those that stay here at this time must face the harshest conditions on Earth. The High Arctic in late autumn. Empty and abandoned to ice and snow. Most animals migrated south weeks ago. The few that stay will face violent winds, plunging temperatures and months of darkness. A female polar bear searches for shelter. Other bears are out on the frozen ocean looking for food, but she won't feed again until next spring. Using as little energy as possible, she starts to dig a shallow nest. The snow here is easy to work. It's soft and light. A sure sign that soon, plenty more will accumulate on this slope as winter advances. And that is what she needs. If she has chosen well, the Arctic wind will do much of her work for her. Once the snow here is deep enough, she will dig down to make a den. She'll then lie, waiting for her cubs to be born as winter sets in. The sea ice already covers twice the area it did in summer. Those animals that, a few weeks ago, came down here to feed in the sea, are now locked out. But there are windows in this white desert. Gateways to the rich ocean below. Most birds have migrated south. But in the frozen Bering Sea, ducks of one particular species are gathering together in a single, immense flock. Spectacled eiders. Hundreds of thousands of them. With the seas that fed them throughout the summer all but frozen, this is the eider's last refuge. Such patches of open water, kept free of ice by strong currents, are given a Russian name, polynyas. If this polynya stays open all winter, the ducks will have avoided an exhausting migration. It's a gamble and a tremendous risk, especially for the spectacled eider, for this polynya holds the world's entire population. Surrounded by ice, these spectacled eiders' survival depends on this single, vulnerable oasis. And conditions here can change very fast. A smaller pool. Here, common eider ducks are learning a bitter lesson. An early winter storm has caught them out and the ice is closing in. The pool is shrinking, and the ducks are freezing to death. These gamblers have lost. As the sun's influence continues to dwindle here in the north, the cold pushes south into Arctic lands. Winter brings a devastatingly-destructive force. Frost. Ice crystals form as moisture in the air freezes. Inside plants, the same thing is happening to the water in their cells and their sap. With these first frosts, most plants die. Their insides ripped apart by ice crystals. Coniferous trees, however, like fir and pine, can withstand very low temperatures. It's these trees that create the greatest forest on our planet. This is the Taiga. It encircles the globe and contains one third of all the trees on earth. As winter deepens, frigid air from the Arctic meets warm, moist air from the south, producing particularly heavy snows. For the big animals of the forest, there's no way of hiding from the winter. But size, for the Bison of Northern Canada, is, in fact, their salvation. Big bodies lose less heat and can carry more insulation. That may be why these bison are the largest land animals in North America. And only a large predator can tackle them. Wolves hunt better in packs, but there are only two of them here and the prey they pursue are giants. A vast Arctic wilderness stretches all around. In it somewhere, there are bison. These deep tracks in the snow are easy to follow, but which way were the bison going? They have detected a scent. The hunt is on. Running in the bison's tracks is easy. The snow here is compressed and firm. At this rate, the wolves will soon catch up. They attempt a shortcut. The giant bison can plough on through virgin snow, but for the wolves, deep snow is a hindrance, and now they're losing ground. The hunters rejoin the bison's tracks and the contest is on again. The bison are the only prey here in winter. The wolves have no option, they must tackle them. But bison are ten times their size. In winter, the line between life and death is so narrow that for a wolf, even a small injury could be fatal. It's crucial they select the right target. This one is very big. Good decision. This is smaller, a yearling. Even though it's young, it's none the less heavier than both wolves combined and it is extremely powerful. The male wolf backs off. Perhaps he's frightened of injury. But the female is more determined, or more desperate. Having given so much already, she must make the kill. This is a battle of life and death for them both. The bison has no strength left. The battle is over. Winter deepens. The snow continues to accumulate, smothering the forest. Some trees are loaded with three tonnes of snow. It shuts out what little light there is at these latitudes, and that shortens the growing season still further and limits how far north trees are able to grow. So, snow influences both the shapes of the trees and the extent of this forest. And it affects the animals, too. SQUAWK! It helps to have friends if you want to find food at this time of the year. Wolverines and ravens, a match made in the Taiga. It's the hardest time of the year to find food. But the wolverine knows that a raven's call is as good as a dinner bell. And the raven has just recruited the best can opener in the forest. The moose carcass is frozen solid, but the wolverine has immensely powerful jaws, well able to deal with frozen food. The raven's bill is more suited to leftovers. The raven has to be patient. A wolverine's appetite is legendary. According to folklore, it can eat more at one sitting than any other creature in the forest, hence its other name, the glutton. What the wolverine can't eat now, it stores in the deep freeze. It will bury these food parcels across the forest, planning ahead for leaner times. For a few, the snow is an ally. Voles stay active throughout the winter beneath the snow, despite the freezing temperatures above. Travelling along tiny corridors, they move from pocket to pocket of perfectly refrigerated food. Snow is a great insulator, so down here, the temperature never falls more than a degree or so below zero. And that's warm enough for a vole to thrive, even if it lacks the stature of a bison. In some years, vole numbers boom, and then they are forced to break cover to search for more food. The great grey owl is a silent and very skilful hunter, but deep snow can be beyond its reach. But such snow is no barrier to one predator. The least weasel. A tiny hunter, and the vole's nemesis. Its body is exactly the same width as a vole's, so there's nowhere a vole can go that the weasel can't follow. INSTRUMENTAL The weasel's long, slender shape is perfect for hunting in tunnels, but the worst possible shape for staying warm. So they need a special way of doing that. She plucks the fur from its body tuft by tuft. And now she puts it all together to make a cosy blanket under which to sleep in her den below the snow. Midwinter in the northern forests. The sun is so low that it's twilight at midday. Further north in the high Arctic, the sun has been below the horizon for months and it'll be several more before it appears again. The male polar bear spends winter out on the frozen ocean. Few creatures can endure these conditions. If he's lucky, he will find a carcass that could provide a little food, possibly that of a fox or another polar bear. But otherwise, he must live on his reserves. This is the time to scrape by, to wait. But on lee-side slopes, beneath the snow, new lives are beginning. The cubs are born blind and tiny. An early birth is easier on the mother, who is barely awake. Despite her sleepiness, her instinct to nurse is overwhelming. The cub's clucking calls stimulate her to produce milk. And what milk! It's nine times richer than our own and enables her to double their weight every few weeks. It's over two months since the autumn snows first arrived. In two more months, polar bear families will emerge onto the snowy slopes all around the Arctic. But for now, they lie protected within their icy cocoons. A hundred miles above the earth, the Aurora lights up the sky. After travelling millions of miles across space, solar winds, attracted by the magnetic pull of the poles, collide with the earth's atmosphere. Trillions of charged particles dance across the sky. Above the Arctic, the Aurora Borealis... the Northern Lights. In the south, it's the Aurora Australis... the Southern lights, that bring light to Antarctica's long winter. These spectacular lightshows are only a tease. Solar energy maybe, but no warmth that will help the emperor penguins. The Arctic winter is brutally cold, but in Antarctica, the darkest months are even more savage. The male penguins have not eaten for months, and have only each other for protection from the gales. Each has been entrusted with a single precious egg balanced on the top of its feet. If the egg were to drop onto the ice, even for a moment, the chick inside would die and all this would count for nothing. The Weddell seal. The only mammal to remain here throughout the winter. They must have breathing holes, and so have to constantly scrape away the ice that threatens to close them, rasping away fresh build-ups with special wide-gaped jaws. Beneath the ice, they are beyond the reach of the bitter winter winds. The sea is -2 degrees centigrade. A warm bath, compared to the conditions overhead. The roof of ice insulates this world from the wild fluctuations above. The temperature down here has barely changed for 25 million years. Of course, animals must still be hardy. These borchgrevinki fish have antifreeze in their blood, so they are untroubled swimming among the ice crystals. Many animals here are remarkably long-lived, perhaps because the conditions are so stable. Some sponges could be a thousand years old and large enough for a human to hide in. There could hardly be a greater contrast to the bleak, windswept world just above. But there is a constant danger here. Swirling patterns in the water reveal its presence. They are made by brine. Super-concentrated salt water. It's a warning. New sea ice forming above leaves behind brine that is so extremely salty, it sinks rapidly. As it descends, the sea water around it freezes instantly and forms a sheath of ice, a brinicle, that grows downwards towards the seafloor. Winter is reaching down from the cold world above. As it touches the seafloor, it kills whatever living thing it contacts by encasing it in a tomb of ice. Even in the relative warmth of the water, the lethal cold of winter threatens life on the seafloor. Another more constant attack rises from below. Pressure in the depths keeps water liquid, even though its temperature is far from freezing. Currents bring up this colder water, but it turns to ice, covering everything that can't move away from it. And then, the ice, being lighter than water, begins to float, lifting away anything attached. Even some of the faster-moving animals are caught. So the ice cleanses the seafloor and strews the ceiling above with remnants of life from below. A sign that winter is nearly over. The songs of male Weddell seals challenging their rivals to battle. The male seal's calls can be heard over 15 miles away. He aims to control the best breathing holes for they will determine his mating rights in spring. His calls create powerful shockwaves in the water. They are threats. This hole has already been claimed, and the owner will not surrender it willingly. No change this time. The challenger will need to find a hole with a weaker owner. The battles continue until the females arrive, and that time is now close. The sun returns to Antarctica. The longest night on earth has ended and winter begins to give way to spring. Female emperor penguins. After four months feeding at sea, they are returning sleek and fat. Penguins, it seems, can fly after all. But a winter at sea has left them a little out of practice. There is no time to waste. Far away, the males are waiting. While the females were gone, the sea ice grew, and it's now twice the distance from its edge back to their colony. 70 miles away, the males are in desperate need of help. Despite doing all they can to conserve their energy, many are close to dying from starvation. SQUAWK! SQUAWK! SQUAWKING Reunited after three months apart. The reward for her return? A first glimpse of her chick. The reunion made, it's time for the handover. The father finds it hard to let go. Some gentle persuasion is needed. He has endured the most appalling conditions on earth to ensure the survival of his chick, and the bond is strong. The exchange must be quick, as the tiny chick, unprotected, could freeze to death in seconds. A task that began in autumn has been completed. Despite the huge odds against it, the precious chick has survived the winter and is now with its mother. And she has food. The chick's first fresh meal. Her mission is complete. But for other mothers, the journey ends in disappointment. Their chicks have not survived. The females' need to nurture remains strong. Any chick that strays from its parent is at grave risk of being kidnapped. The chaos may be a consequence of frustrated parental urge, but the outcome can be tragic. For those emperor penguins that survive, the worst is over for this year. There will soon be abundant food for everyone. The emperors have taken on the polar winter and won. The gamble has paid off. All other animals escaped, only they remained to raise their young. And now, it is they who will now benefit most from the rich southern spring. Another arrival is the certain confirmation that spring is here. The Adelies, having spent winter at sea, have come back, but they have not even mated yet, let alone laid their eggs. Now, at last, the male emperors can return to where they are most at home. One season ends and another begins. The penguins will soon be joined by migrants and the far south will bustle with life for a few frantic months. But there are only a special few, north and south, who can survive winter at the farthest ends of our planet. Hi my name is Pascal Latil and the film you are about to watch is my 1st short film. La dérade won best gay lesbian film award at the 8th NYC down town short film festival. And I hope you will like it. The water is pretty good ! You should be on your ship , sailing somewhere. I don't have sea legs. And yet, it feels good, the sea spray being under the sun hearing the sound of the gulls. Do you wanna leave ? I like this place. It's been a long time since we came here. Your mother is gonna wait. It was at least a year and a half ago. I wanted to take a book with me, and I forgot. It was quite sunny ! You had to insist to bring me here. As usual I dithered. Aferwards I was happy. Things were never the same after that. Try to sleep now, sweet heart. Was it Francois who's just called ? Yes, he is on the way. You didn't tell him. No. I don't want him to worry. It's bad enough with you being upset. This should be him. Mom ? Yes sweet heart ? How do I look ? Great. Hi François ! Everything's alright ? Yes ! How is he ? Did he sleep ? No even if he's really quite exhausted. He can't sleep, can he ? And he keeps asking about you. I go see him, and then I will make us dinner. It is true that I missed you all day long in that bed, it was endless. I tried to forget everything in sleeping, but I couldn't. Do you know what I kept thinking about ? about that day that we spent here together. It was a great day ! Simon ! Simon, are you alright ? Yes, I'm ok ! Are you hungry, Babette ? I'm starving ! It's smells good ! What did you make? It's pork with honney and curry. That's the curry I can smell. I've got a bottle of Bordeau. That sounds great ! It will go well with the meat. Remind me to buy you some place mats. You haven't got much tableware. You know that Simon couldnt care less, and I hate shopping. Never mind, you're such a good cook. I like it ! You'll have to give me the recipe. What's wrong ? I have something to tell you. I have to leave again. I am sailing back for work in a few days time. Just like this. Yes ! Five weeks. We are sailing to south Africa. It is the last time I am leaving for so long. But I have to, I am under contract. Did you tell Simon ? When I leave for so long, I'm scared scared, that something might happen to him while I'm gone. Thank goodness he's stronger than he looks. You know, a little while after I met you, Simon told me : Mom, I'm glad you met François that you know about the two of us because I couldn't bear that if something happened to me, nobody explained it to him. Always worrying about the others. It is true that it was not the life I wished for him but I am glad you're here. Come on, eat before it gets cold. I can't imagine the way I looked when you told me that you were a sailor. Me the literature student having an affair with a sailor, I thought it was a bit of a cliché. You mean you were scared that I was an stupid. You can say it.. I've always seen right through you. You've always been like an open book to me. However the way you hid the truth about your condition Bingo ! It could have won you an oscar. I didn't want to lie to you. I just wanted us to be happy. Come on ! I'm coming ! Good morning madam, this is doctor Seguin from the cardiology department of Brest hospital. Yes ! We have just found a perfect donnor for Simon's heart transplant. Yes ! I'll get him ready. Thank you. And then, little by little I came back to life. At the beginning everything seemed to be normal. You were sailing to South Africa and I was getting better. I kept thinking about us, about when we were going to see each other again. telling to myself that I was fighting for both of us. And then somebody had to tell me that you never got to your ship, that it was you, the guy on the highway who was in the crash and that the new heart beating now in my chest, it was your's. I'd prepared myself to the idea that to live someone had to die. That it wouldn't be fair. I used to tell to myself that this person will still living in some way thanks to me. That's exactly what happened. Yes but, you are here, and you're not, and I talk to you, and I can't touch you. Of course you can, I'm right here. And you know Simon... You gave me the best gift ever. The rest of your life. This is the dock where I left my ship. Alright, I'm going back in for a swim. Are you coming ? Are you sure, you don't want to come ? The waters never been so good. Please, come on... You nerver want to and then when you get in you love it. I'll join you. In 2010 in France, 15 613 persons were waiting for a tranplantation Only 4708 could have one. Because of the improvement of the transplantation techniques, the demand keeps increasing. The main reason for the lack of organs is that we don't know the will of our loved ones about it. A donor can save 4 lives. Let's talk about it... Go! Go! Go! Move! Move! Go! This is yet another liberal attack on our values, our families and on our way of life. On the subject of gay marriage, remember this, people. This is not about the union of two people of the same sex. This, this is clearly the work of liberal judges who are trying to force their will on you, the American people. Society at large is better served by maintaining the sacred tradition of marriage. As in a man and a woman joined together by holy matrimony. The people know it. You know it. And I know it. This is Jim O'Bannon reporting. Good night, everybody, and thanks for watching The O'Bannon Files. Yeah? Arbor's gone, sir. Missed his assignment in Seattle. What happened? I'm not sure what happened. He just vanished. So the guy doesn't complete his assignment, and you have no fucking idea where he is. This is unacceptable. Do you understand? I understand. I'm gonna make it right. I have Senate Oversight all over my ass. And I'm meeting with the director tonight. The last thing I need is a failed assignment by a rogue agent who disappeared and didn't follow orders. He is your man. He is your responsibility. Find him and fix it. Yes, sir. Consider it done. Good morning. How are you? Good. Excellent. This is Allan Campbell. Hello, Allan. Do you know who this is? Uh... No... You're forgetting me already, Allan? Listen, you know, like I said, I'll... I'll get you the money. It's just a matter of time. Well, that's great. Can you do it today? No, no, no. Actually, I have a promotion today. And after that happens, then I got it all covered. The next time I see you, you better have my money. Yeah, no, I understand. And I appreciate it. Congrats on your career. Thanks. Oh, shit. Fuck. Shit. God damn it. You all right? Huh? Nicely done. That's a good look. Don't laugh at me, Drew. Come on. What happened to your eye anyway? My eye's fine. Just let me... Let me have your shirt, please. What? Just let me have your shirt. I'm not gonna give you my shirt. I can't go in to Gates like this. You shouldn't have spilled coffee on it then. Okay, well, I did. And now I need your shirt, please. Just... All right. All right. Spill anything on your pants? You want me to give you those, too? Come on. Stop being like that. Hey, everybody, I made it. Just kidding. Big day, huh? Everybody pretty excited about it? Hey, Allan made it. Whoa. What happened with your eye, bud? Nothing, man. I'm okay. Yeah? Mmm-hmm. I'm fine. Nothing, huh? Doesn't look like nothing to me. You got a new tie there, huh? Classy. Gray. Didn't know that was the new power color. Strong choice. Thanks. Mr. Gates. Okay, fellas, we all have a lot of work to get back to, so I'm gonna keep this snappy. I've looked through all of your proposals. And while I think all of you have more than a little something to offer, the proposal that hits the nail on the head is the one that shows the most leadership and vision that is gonna be required to take this company into the future. Congratulations, Felzner. Thank you, sir. You are welcome. And you can move into that new office of yours whenever you'd like. Excuse me, sir? Mr. Gates? Yes, Allan? Listen, you said that you liked my work. You said that it was strong... I said I liked your work, Allan. And I do. Okay, so why am I not getting the promotion? I mean, I've been here longer than Felzner. Felzner is the future, Allan. It's as simple as that. Are you okay? Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, bro. Hey, honey, it's me. Call me when you get a chance. Come on. Fuck. Where are you? Shit. Campbell. Brian, this is Allan. You stole my idea. And I know it. And I'm gonna let Gates know it. You can't get away with this. You hear me? I'm not gonna let you get away with this. Come on, lady. Hey, honey. I've been trying to call you. Why didn't you answer? Where's Mike? I saw his car downstairs. You all right? Something wrong? Hey, Allan. When did you become so detached? What? I'm gonna go. Please. Jesus, Mike. I'm sorry. I wanted you to know. Hmm. This isn't working, Allan. You are always so distant, so concerned with climbing the ladder. For us, Syd. It was always for us. I believe you. I do. But somewhere along the line, you actually forgot about me. I mean, look at us. We don't even fight with passion anymore. The hot and cold I can take, but this numbness in between... So does that make this all okay? No, it doesn't make it okay. But don't pretend like I'm the only one with secrets. Look at your face. You think I actually believe that was an accident? No, I just was trying to get ahead, Syd. That's all I've ever done. Well, maybe trying to get ahead, you just fell behind. Okay. I'll go... I'll go get a hotel. Allan, wait... Can I get a J D straight up, please? Big night ahead? Epic. You okay? Yeah. Thank you. Can I get another one? Preferably in a bigger glass, if you don't mind. That's the biggest glass I got, sir. I guess I'll be keeping you busy then tonight. What are you drinking? Water. Seriously? If it was a joke, would it be funny? No, no, I mean, to each his own. We interrupt this game to bring you this breaking news story right now. Jim O'Bannon, host of The O'Bannon files, a sometimes controversial news and opinion show viewed by millions, was found dead just minutes ago outside a downtown restaurant. At this time... Barkeep. ...police tell us that apparently he was shot to death at close range alongside two of his bodyguards. Jim O'Bannon was 58. We now return you back to the game. So Jim O'Bannon, huh? That's kind of crazy, him getting killed. Him being a big TV star and all, don't you think? Fame doesn't make you invincible. Yeah, and I always thought he was a bit of a jackass, but nobody deserves to die, you know. I'm Allan. How you doing? What is this, some kind of fag bar? No, I was just... I'm sorry. I was just trying to make some friendly conversation, that's all. It's like I got "Everlast" stamped across my face, man. Like a human punching bag. Can I have another one, please? Thanks. I'm sorry. Whatever, man. It's cool. When I spoke to you earlier, I must have given off the impression that I was game for conversation. If I wasn't, I should have kept my mouth shut. Name's Jonas. Allan. Allan Campbell. What you said about being a human punching bag, you definitely look the part. Yeah, I guess you're right. Corporate world's a bitch. How'd you know that? There'll be no salvation Is the hatred one a bad person? A very evil person Cruel one? Very much He is so cruel Did this person get faith (Islam) afterwards? I want him to turn into pieces every each day He shall die slowly He should suffer from intense pain Your Majesty Princess of Casilla, Isabella Fortuna Don't forget to subscribe for more The events and characters in this show have been fictionalized by history Episode 28 Welcome Signora Isabella You are my guest here Don't worry. Nobody can do harm to you You are under my protection. You'll be treated in the best way here Yakup Efendi what do you think? Is there any poison that would kill slowly and with pain? My Sultana, it is difficult But I'll make the poison you want I need a ware of that cruel person who hurts you always uses It would be good if you can find such thing I will do anything to watch him die Pull yourself together You are talking to the world's emperor Sultan Süleyman Khan What did she say? Pargalı, translate everything she says. I want to know Even just touching her would be a cause of war. Because she's a princess If we have to fight, we will fight for you princess But only if we can find someone to face us There was nobody in Mohacs They ran away My father and also my fiance will learn about my situation soon They'll make you pay the price of capturing a princess I want to see your face when the navy comes here to take me Without my permission, no navy, not even a single fish can swim in our seas Sultan Süleyman, I heard you were a cruel barbarian. But I see with my eyes now You haven't seen anything yet There's no benefit in talking to you. But you should know that I'm not a slave in your harem. neither your woman I'd rather die than you touch me I understand that you consider yourself important as a princess. But don't think the same as a woman. Because touching you didn't even cross my mind You won't be in my harem. But your position is slavery Princess. Go back to your room Let's go Nilüfer Did you entrust the kids to Esma? My princess, what happened? What did you talk about? Will he release us? Sultan.. Barbarian Sultan He thinks he can lock up a princess, even a princess of Holy Roman Empire He'll pay for it What did he tell you? Why are you so angry? As you see she's pretty angry your Majesty It is normal to be angry for being a captive What's your decision? What do we do? Will you release the princess? She'll keep staying here Let's see what she'll bring us Let's see what her father, her fiance that she relis on will do Do everything for her comfort İbrahim Make sure she's being hosted in the best way She'll be more important every each day she stays here Prince Friedrich; I am sad to inform you about that your fiance, Princess Isabella's ship was attacked and captured by Turkish pirates Your fiance who was captured by the pirates has been brought to İstanbul Despite all my efforts the pirates refused all the golds I offered Princess is sold to Sultan Süleyman She's held in a hunting lodge in Haliç. ut don't worry. I keep an eye on her I feel as I owe to inform you about this situation to end thiscaptivity She's waiting to be rescued My Sultana, with your permission Let's feed the kids Good Nilüfer? The most favourite of the Sultanas Did you check? Yes, I did my Sultana İbrahim Paşa is not in his room I knocked the door but the door is locked If you want to say something important, you can say it to me and I'll have it delivered to him No. I need to go to his palace To İbrahim Paşa's palace? Shall Icome with you my Sultana? No. I'll handle it Is Gülfem Hatun still in the park? Yes. She is with Mahidevran Sultana Good Give me that box Did Yakup Efendi say something bad my Sultana? Did he annoy you? No, the opposide I'm cheered up He'll come tomorrow Oh Mashallah. Whenever you want to see Yakup Efendi, just tell me. I'll bring him to your knees Anything to make you smile, my Sultana We have been riding for long days. Won't you rest my Bey? No need to hurry Matrakçı I'll have time to rest Sultan Süleyman Khan his Highness Your Majesty, my Paşa Malkoçoğlu so you are here. What a speed I was expecting you a week later I wanted to bring your spoils of war as soon as possible Because they are all very valuable I hope there're no casualties No, my Paşa. Books, candlesticks and sculptures They are all brought in one piece The candlesticks are going to Hagia Sophia, İbrahim Paşa Because I want the community to see them on friday As you wish your Majesty Give close attention to the books to Don't you worry, the library is already ready Good Your Majesty, as you wished the sculptures are sent to our Paşa's palace İbrahim Paşa did you hear that? Your sculptures delivered I hope my Hatice knows about it I didn't tell her to see with her own eyes She's wondering Then place them immediately You should be there too Just in case Hatice won't faint Welcome my Sultana Have a seat I'm worried about Hatice Sultana. How is she? Good. Nigar Kalfa will be with her She'd never leave her alone I'm relieved. I won't have to worry about her I wonder whose idea it was to send her there Our Valide Sultana agreed to it Nigar Kalfa will be more beneficial there than she was here I came here for... His Majesty gave me this lucky charm when I got pregnant to Mehmet What an elegant amulet Yeah I always carried it at the birth of my children It supported me I want to gift it to Hatice Sultana Is that how you ask for forgiveness? Good idea That is a very valuable gift Our Sultana will be happy Let's visit her some time Will you accompany me? Of course We'll visit her first thing tomorrow Wow wow Such great things If you want we can place one infront of your house No my Paşa. I'm not a Paşa. I'm a poor man They'd make fun of me My Paşa, they'll annoy you too Because the ones who saw these at port were already gossiping Whoever doesn't think before talking will surely accept their punishment I fell asleep. How long did I sleep? Plenty of time. I didn't want to wake you up What are the noises? I have no idea Look, they are nicely shaped That's right Attention İbrahim, these... These sculptures are the gift of his Majesty for me Don't you like them? No, not that But what will my mother think about them? My Sultana, if you allow me I'd like to introduce someone to you Who? Malkochoğlu It is a great honor to meet you I wanted you to meet to Malkoçoğlu Bali Bey, my Sultana He's a very brave, valuable Bey He brought the sculptures to here So that's you I heard nice things about you How are you? We are praying for your health, my Sultana Daye, keep an eye on Hatice Paşa is back. Iwon't get to see her frequently I charged Nigar. She'll always be there Is not my lion back yet? He is, my Sultana He's resting in privy chamber Attention, Sultan Süleyman Khan his Highness You may take your leave Daye Welcome my son My mother I was just asking about you I hope you are all fine I only complain about not seeing you I'm still longing for you I'll visit you more frequently mother The most precious of spoils of war from Buda has arrived today I ordered the treasurer to cash the harem's share immediately We shall eat the dinner together, we'd chat I promised to Mustafa and Mahidevran for tonight How nice! They'll be very happy Especially Mustafa He's becoming a brighter prince day by day Mahidevran's share is big in it She's settled down She just cares to be a mother now I'm aware of it, mother Mahidevran will surely get the award of her effort It is like they are announcing the world about the victory achieved in Mohacs Exactly, Malkoçoğlu Exactly What do you think my Sultana? Don't you like them? I like them of course I'm still surprised My Paşa, everyone you tip is happy, they are praying for you Matrakçı, Bali Bey had a long trip I want you to host him in the best way You'll take care of him With your permission, my Paşa Thank you for your care My Sultana Come on, let's zoom in I'll tell you about our sculptures Bali Bey, let's first go to the place we will host you. have a rest. I'll pick you up in the evening You haven't been in the capital since a long time Let's see what kind of clubs there are Which women are new in town Did the angels come from the paradise? Got it Get ready for the evening I have the key to the paradise Good This unbeatable soldier is Heracles Son of Zeus I mean, Hercules The most beautiful Diana Virgin goddess of hunters Twin sister of Apollo They never leave each other And Apollo The god that represents the fire, sun, art and music He's a bowman and also healer He's a soothsayer too He tells news from the future They give me the creeps I'm afraid they'll bring bad luck Why would you say so my Sultana? Wat if they attack to our palace again thinking they are icons Who can dare it These sculptures are his Majesty's gift for me Don't worry my Sultana All these can't be coincidence Seeing these sculptures, bringing them here is a sign A magnificent future is waiting for us, my Sultana Especially the sculptures will be the guards of our happiness My sword trainer says that we'll start to train fighting on a horse You promised me, I'll join you at the next campaign I'll be a cruel warrior I appreciate your determination my Mustafa But... What's more important than being a cruel warrior is being a equitable warrior The books I told you about are delivered We'll view them after friday praying How can I understand infidel's language, your Majesty? İbrahim Paşa will help you You will learn Italian and Latin in the same way you learnt Arabic and Persian Bismillahirrahmanirrahim What the heck is this? Come here You called me Find a concubine to send to hunting lodge We have enough concubines for her service Find someone who understands the princess' language Someone who can teach her Turkish They shall start the lessons as soon as possible So we will learn what they talk about, right? Got it Good I'll take care of it my Paşa. Don't you worry But Sümbül Ağa, in silence.. Right? Mustafa go to your room. It is late We have things to discuss with your mother Mahidevran, I'm very pleased of how you raise Mustafa Your effort on raising him as a prince is great I'm doing my best, your Majesty I'll keep the honory of being graced by you all my life About the things I want to discuss with you ... I'm all ears your Majesty As a Haseki and mother of a prince, I am granting you a plenty of spending money to do charity anywhere in any way you want You make me happy your Majesty Thanks to you I'll get countless of prayers It is like you have given me the paradise May God bless you I'm going. Have a good night What is it, Nasuh Efendi? You seem so troubled It is nothing my Bey. We are having fun Come on, welcome Is it that you are in love? How can I fall in love My Bey? I'd recognise a man in love even if I see him in the darkness Obviously you have a heartache Diamond cut diamond, Nasuh Efendi Wine won't heal your wound A human can heal And also a woman's hand is healing You are not from here Yes I come from so far away Then welcome my Paşa I have got your cure You are very strong Will you stay a while? I'd like to see you all the time my Paşa You never loved me, did you Victoria? İbrahim, come here Are you okay? Give your hand to me Can you feel it? Our son is very naughty He turned again Our son... Don't condition yourself that it will be a son. If it won't be a son you would be very sad I did something when you were not here What is it ? I was weak when you were not here I couldn't stand it I met with astrologer Yakup Efendi Why did you meet that faker? He said that we will have a golden haired son Golden haired... Yes I was relieved to hear that Good then But he said me one more thing That there's a shadow that follows us Among us... Waiting Don't believe in him and please don't meet him again So he won't annoy you The kids are sleeping. Do you have any other order my Sultana? Take a rest you too. Sleep I heard you were a cruel Barbarian Now I see with my own eyes You haven't seen anything yet Don't be that sad Look, everyone treats us good He told me that I have seen nothing yet Who? That barbarian called Süleyman He thinks I get above myself. Who do you think he is ? Sultan doesn't look as a terrible barbarian. I was surprised True At least fire doesn't blow out of his eyes But his tongue is poisoned Your Majesty, Hürrem Sultana is here Let her in Welcome my moon, my sun I can't close my eyes without seeing you I'll visit Hatice tomorrow I'll give her a gift I'll give her the lucky amulet you gave m That'd be good Visit her more frequently. She shaun't be alone It is Hatice's first baby. She's very worried You'll calm her down with your experience You were absent all day long I miss you. Where have you been? I had things to do Will I always be yearning for you ? Won't this pain have an end? You'll always be in love and yearning for me This is the love, Hürrem I miss the sky and clouds of Castilla Signore Gritti should have sent a message Your fiance Prince Friedrich will absolutely find a way I don't know if we can really rely on Gritti She lives in this Ottoman hell willingly He's among the barbarians A wagon arrived Can it be Sultan Süleyman? What's she saying? She's asking why we came here We are here with the order of İbrahim Paşa By now Melek Hatun will be at the service of Princess Isabella. She'll teach her Turkish She doesn't want to learn our language She won't stay here for a long time She doesn't need it It would be for her sake to learn Turkish She'll be more comfortable as long as she lives here She says that if they really think about my comfort they can bring a table to eat dinner They make a princess eat on the floor like a barbarian Yes, we are bending all together Nice Bend a little more Nice, very nice Bend Why is not this one working? What kind of neck is that my girl? You raise it like a duck Bend, Will you stand like this infront of Valide Sultana? Bend, bend a little more. Bend! Nice Is not Sümbül Ağa here? I don't know where he is my Sultana He's always missing Gül Ağa, I'll have 2 fountains built Find needing neighbourhoods for me Find the locations. Oh and I'll also have a Turkish bath built Mşallah my Sultana. You'll get lots of prayings He'd tell about this to his Sultana It would be good. That's why I said it in public If not him, then someone else will dliver this message What are these? Sculptures. But what are they doing here? Welcome These are... Diana, Apollo and Hercules İbrahim Paşa brought them from Buda Does Valide Sultana know about them? No If my Valide sees them she'd be upset With your permission, It is not worthy of you but... His Majesty's gift It brought me luck during my pregnancies I hope it will save you too bring you luck With your permission Thanks Hürrem Very beautiful Come, let's get inside Sultan Süleyman and also Grand Vizier İbrahim Paşa were seem proud of their vctory How proud and arrogant they were in the mosque Did you hear that? They brought infidels' sculptures from Buda They say they are located on İbrahim Paşa's palace's yard It is gossip. Don't believe it Would a muslim put icons to his house? Figani Efendi... Well, come and see with your eyes then There they are Now you see them Look at them, 3 icons İbrahim Paşa's obsession of French palaces is obvious Tables, paintings But the obsession of icons would lead him to guillotine, he just doesn't know What language is this? Latin, my prince Then, who wrote the book in your hands? Eflatun, I mean Plato wrote it It is teaching about wow a state should be, how it should be managed Italian? Italian I want to learn all of these You should learn the langauge to understand these İbrahim Paşa will teach you Italian and Latin as much as he has time Our prince's desire for knowledge will enthuse him I want to learn too Paşa. Come on show me My prince, you will grow up a little. I'll teach you when you grow You are a strong man, Matrakçı. You won again I guess you didn't sleep last night. You are still not awake You should be tired I don't mind such tiredness But tonight we should see Elenica again Her food was very delicious Good Cheer up Matrakçı A problem shared is a problem halved Bey? Where to? Come on, let's talk Stay out of my way, don't get close Don't show coyness, come here Don't touch me! Hey! I'm Malkoçoğlu Bali Bey Are you okay? It is not your business One goes another comes All of you burn in hell What is iy my Bey? What happened? Who's this girl? I don't know. I don't know her Brave woman though Let me take you to the council of poets If there's the Aşık(lover) Çelebi, he'd say your future to your face Maybe there's another woman in your destiny Fortunately you are here I'm always lonely here all day long Our Paşa is very busy He can't dedicate much time to you I have no complaints It is enough that he is here with me I wish our baby borned immediately It is almost over my Sultana You'll take have it on your laps soon, inşallah Amen Welcome my Paşa You too Nigar, put this on my table I need a ware of this cruel person that he always uses With your permission I'll go wash my face It is too hot Have a seat. Tell us what you did today Bring me a cold drink I'm about to faint What's that in your hand? Let me hold it. You bring the drink No. This is an important book of our Paşa What's it? Give it to me. I'll have a look My Sultana, please I said give it to me Is this İbrahim's handwriting? Yes, he always works on this book He writes and draws My Sultana, let me bring the notebook. Paşa shouldn't be angry Alright Take the important notebook Selamunaleykum Who's the rich man near you, Matrakçı? What kind of poet you are. You first see the colour of money He's a merchant. He's not from here Welcome Figani Efendi Not really welcomed Hayday Efendi. Not at all I wish I didn't see it What is it? I saw such a thing while coming, I'm not cheered anymore Who's this guy? Figani He's a good poet. His tongue and also pen are sharp He never hesitates While passing by Horse Square I was told told that İbrahim Paşa has icons at her palace I didn't believe at first But Isaw them with my eyes He ha 3 icons He brought them from Buda 2 Abrahams came to world One of them destroyed the icons The other one raise the icons Hey folks Prophet Abraham destroyed the icons and our Paşa Abraham raise them back Figani say it again 2 İbrahims came to this world One of them destroyed the icons The other one raise them Prophet Abraham destroyed the icons and Our Paşa İbrahim raises them back Girl, don't take that one Your sould is already black, that would just get you darker Take that one Who sent these? Mahidevran Sultana sent them She lavishes gifts on harem, thanks to her Mayshe have the Midas touch. She also said that she'll have fouintains and baths built. Look for a place for them Did she ask it from you? Exactly to me in person. In person! She told me to analyse the neighborhoods and find places My Sultanas are very pleased of my services, mashallah Oh gosh Mashallah, Inshallah Amen. Save me from the evil eyes, God! You are chattering again Go see Hürrem Sultana. She wants to see you Run to your main Sultana My son My Mehmet What's wrong? Why are you sad? I went to mosque with my father How nice! But everyone said " long live Mustafa " Noone said anything for me They don't know you yet my son You are little yet But when they recognise you, they'll shout out your name the most İbrahim will teach Mustafa Italian I wanted to learn too. But he said no Don't be sad my lion Your mother will teach you everything Go inside now The most unique of the Sultanas. May you order Order what? You said to Esma that you want to say something My Sultana you told me to have my eyes opened and to inform you if I hear anything important Say it A huge grant is given to Maidevran Sultana to do charity work Mahidevran Sultana will have buildings built. Hans, baths, fountains She's giving out gifts to concubines Is it Valide Sultana's order? It is his Majesty's order, in person My Sultana, a seal is needed on here too And one more here to have the subvention Thank you I bored you This is good Daye Mahidevran is cheerful She's getting the reward of her tranquility If she lent my ear before, bad things wouldn't happen If it is not a good time... No, I'm available, come We'll go on later Daye. Take these away Is something wrong? I met Hatice Sultana today She's all fine I wanted to tell it to you Thank you for your care Actually, the icons worries her You know there'd be many gossips What icons? What are you talking about? Haven't you heard? İbrahim Paşa brought 3 icons from Buda They are human shaped Also they are half naked You'd think they are real They are all set up in the yard Your Majesty, you called me Are you taking care of the hunting lodge? I visited the hunting lodge today I selected a Spanish speaking concubine with İbrahim Paşa's order She'll take good care of the princess She'll teach her our language step by step But she doesn't want to learn Make sure nothing is missing for her comfort Your Majesty You know the traditions of European palaces are a little different The princess struggles to eat on the floor Have a table made immediately There should be blue tiles on it The best of the masters will do it in my palace As you order your Majesty Your Majesty, Our Valide Sultana wants to visit you May she come to my room When you are thirsty you shall say " su istiyorum " I won't learn a single word in Turkish Don't bother At least learn the important words. Perhaps you may like it later What's your name? Angela In Turkish it is "melek" If I don't teach you Turkish, Sümbül Ağa would be very angry at me, Signora If you want I can take you with me while leaving You can escape with me I'm happy here in the palace We are well cared in the harem Education is good too aswell I like my Sultanas, I respect them My mother, how are you? My lion I'm fine It should be important since you visit me at this time I heard things Did you know that İbrahim Paşa has icons set in his palace? How can I not know that, my Valide? That's what I don't get How can you allow it? It is a scandal Nilüfer Look into my eyes I said look Can I rely on you? Of course, my Sultana When the time comes you'll do something for me But it is a little dangerous My Sultana, I will do anything for you First the table than the paintings I said nothing not to hurt you. But this is too much my lion They won't be welcomed It will have more harm than benefits İbrahim Paşa doesn't live alone in that palace There's Hatice. They'll soon have a baby They may be harmed It urgently needs to be destroyed and removed. Those things are icons! As long as I live those sculptures will live on the yard of that palace Whoever tries to do harm to İbrahim Paşa or to her family will face me It will be known as such Your decision my lion. It is my duty to warn you I'm telling you the last time as your mother You are making a mistake It is like they are breathing Is not it? They are enlivening your yard my Paşa So Bali Bey Is Matrakçı keeping you good company? Thanks, he is very good But he is not like the Matrakçı I heard about I'm asking but he doesn't answer Obviously a woman hurted him badly History bothers everyone Time is the medicine of any kind of wound I don't mean to bother you my Paşa. But you should know that the poets speak ill of you What do they say? They say you set icons up Then let's visit the poets together some time Let's have a chat Let's see what they'll say Be careful! I'll kill even if it is damaged slightly Sultan Süleyman Khan his Highness sent you this table as a gift How nice What are these? They are called " çini " They are all painted and roasted It requires a big effor and mastership to get these colors It is the most beautiful blue I've ever seen Were his eyes that blue too? What are you saying? Pardon me my princess But he is not a rude man as you think He had a table made specially for you Are you ready? Yes Where are you going? Nilüfer will take you to your aunt's Come on let's go Did you understand what I said? There's a leather covered notebook on his table. Find the notebook and bring it here If you are busted. I didn't send you Don't say anything I'll protect you Don't worry my Sultana Come on, make me proud "Io" means "I" my prince. If you use the Io all the verbs should end with "o" Sultan Süleyman Khan his Highness Benvenuto padre Thank you my lion Our prince learns very quickly your Majesty. He's very smart, mashallah I wonder about the sculptures İbrahim. Do they look good in your yard? They look magnificent. But the folks gossip about it here and there What did my father say? He quoted book ofDante Alighieri's, my prince You follow me, the others can keep talking It is enough for today, my Mustafa. But no dodging. You'll study hard Are our horses ready, İbrahim? Yes, your Majesty We are going to the hunting lodge Bali Bey what are we waiting for? Let's have a walk. My legs are asleep Let's wait a little bit more. Maybe she'll come Who will come? There she is Wait for me You... Are you following me? Not a bit. Why would I follow? I'm not following My gut tells me that there's a valuable jewellery here Right Matrakçı? Or are my eyes misguiding me? Are not those the most beautiful eyes in the world? Nasuf Efend, Welcome Efendi Here my father. Your dinner Thanks my daughter Your daughter? Yes sir. She's my daughter Her name is Armin Armin... Who is the sir? He is a very rich merchant He wants to buy somethings Really? Anything you desire sir Anything I desire eh? We'll come later We just wanted to stop by Good bye What's he doing here? I'll find out right away, your Majesty Whatever he is here for, I don't want to see him here again Aye aye Why are you here? Paşa your Lordship I came here to see princess When wil she be released? Whenever his Majesty wants Maybe ever But my Paşa... It is very serious. There would be a big conflict Let it happen Then we would see how serious it is Additionally Don't come here ever again If you want to say something, visit me What is this? Mumbar Dolması, Stuffed sheep sausages Sultan Süleyman Khan his Highness Our Sultan is here How are you today Signora Isabella? Translate exactly what she said I'm happy as never before How couldn't I be? I'm away from my palace and family I'm captured by the barbarians What else can I want? Only the table was missing. and it is provided now Don't you like the table? I don't want a table. I want my freedom You expect too much from a barbarian My dear He kicked. Did you feel that? Yes Can he hear us? You can speak. I guess he hears What's his name? First he should born. Then we will decide Mihrimah Sultan will get cold. With your permission I'll bring something for her from inside Yes, her hands are cold We can go inside if you are cold But it is so nice here Go upstairs, get in the room on the right. There's a shawl on a box there What are you doing here? I was looking for the shawl. But it is not here You silly. Did I tell you to get in here? Forgive me, I didn't know I wonder why my Sultana hired you Obviously your mind doesn't work Come on go Have you started the classes? Is she learning our language? We are studying my Paşa. But she's not that keen You'll learn our language quickly How much did you pay for me? We have got lots of golds. I'll give you as much as you want Just let me go I understand your anger. But think twice before talking Because You are neither talking to a merchant nor a pirate Were you ever captured? I'm grieving I'm miserable I don't know what to do or what to think Nobody treats me bad here But I treat everyone badly Anything I want is done. Dish, drinks But that doesn't change the fact that I'm a prisoner I request you to release me I realised it is not happening. But at least let me walk in the yard I want to breathe, walk and ride a horse Don't tell me you couldn't manage it Did you find it? I told you I would bring it Did anyone see you? I took it when everyone was in the yard Don't worry. They did not notice whatsoever Well done You may take your leave He wrote a diary Right on the time! Take this to Yakup Efendi immediately He knows what to do This is yours Oh my Sultana, thank you Don't waste time What is this my Sultana? It looks like a book İbrahim Paşa is coming Grand Vizier İbrahim Paşa his lordship Welcome my Paşa The birds delivered it. We will pay the price then I just have a life. He can take it I heard that the sculptures in my yard are discussed Everyone should know that those sculptures are the gifts of Sultan Süleyman Khan his Highness for me They are brought here as the spoilf of war in Buda It will be known as such Of course We didn't forget about you after the victory in Mohacs Have a nice day Thanks to our Paşa May god bless you. Long live our Paşa Shame on all of you Are you renting your tongue for a few coins? Gül Ağa gave this He said you know what to do I know of course Was it you? Couldn't you like? Or were you expecting his Majesty? Enough! You talk too much Ağa You threatened this man. He'll give you what he gets from the tradesmen? Are you a bandit? ! Who? Me? Not such thing Is Şeker Ağa lying? Absolutely. You're right. You're right. Tucker. You-- Uh... muchas, muchas gracias, amigas. Muchas gracias. Here you go. Oh, gracias. María, Vernita, Lucía, gracias. Muchas gracias. Muchas gracias. Ustedes, uh, residar ÿcerca aquí? [speaking Spanish] [laughing] I missed that one. I'm sure it was good. Damas. Vengan conmigo. [speaking Spanish] [speaking Spanish] Uh, what- - Wait a minute. Where are you taking them? Come on, Tyrus, what are you doing? I'm putting them on a bus. Why? What bus? One that takes them back to Honduras. Hey, wait a second. Wait a minute. Th-Th-This was my idea. Don't punish them. You tell Gus to blame me, not them. He does. Give us a minute, will you? We won't be too long. The crew that hit our truck gave away the cargo to a couple of local nobodies. Very disciplined, though, not keeping anything for themselves. It was all about sending a message, which they did, literally. It was written on the bucket lid. "Ready to talk?" That, I believe, is the English translation. I know you're not really asking for advice, but let me hire 10, 15 more good operators, and we hit them back, hit them hard, hit them where they live. No. This war stays cold for now. What about their message? What's the answer? Set up a meeting. Let's see what they have to say. How did he do today? I hear you can handle yourself. I guess. Good night. Uh, excuse me. Why me? I like to think I see things in people. Slow down. The car is not going anywhere. Mom. Hey, sweetheart. Hi. Hey. Whoo. Ah. There you go. Did you see what's in the driveway? Uh, yeah, I saw. Hey. So that's yours, huh? Yeah. Dad got it for me. That was very nice of him. Yeah. I- - I know it looks like... well, awesome, but it's super safe. Dad- - Dad made sure. And I promise to always go the speed limit or below, way below. And it gets great gas mileage. So Dad said I can take it around the block a few times. That okay? Just around the block. Yeah. Just around the block. And be careful, okay? I will. Bye. I-It- - It's really-- It's really great to have you home, Mom. Hey, seriously, be careful, okay? I will. Okay. I guess we should talk. Oh, I think you said plenty the other day. No. Look, about that, it just-- Did you get the car wash keys? Um, yes, yes. Skyler, I may have... overstated things earlier, and I'm sorry to be so forward. But I- - I just-- I want you to know something. I want you to-- I need you to understand that you are safe. You, Junior, Holly-- You are completely safe. Everything that I do-- Everything-- I do it to protect this family. So buying that car, that was protecting your family? Okay. I, uh-- All right, maybe it's a little flashy, but he needed a car, and-- And I'm his father, and I should be able to get what he wants. It goes back tomorrow. Skyler, it will crush him. That car directly contradicts our story. And if you're so invested in protecting this family, it means protecting the story. What do you think the neighbors are going to say, Walt? What about Hank and Marie? How about the IRS? What were you thinking, Walt? I was thinking that I wanted to do something nice for my son. [scoff] Look. I just worry that he'll blame you for this. Oh, he will. Once again, he'll blame his bitch mother for taking away what his loving father has given him, so thanks for that. [sigh] But you know what, Walt? Someone has to protect this family from the man who protects this family. Dead on Arrival Kobe Port Where's Deacon Frost? In the Philippines. (SCREECHING) So how the devil have you been, Eric? You've gotten a bit rusty since last I saw you. BLADE: Noah's stiff the same, I see. Only more so. He's not exactly mellowing with age. (DOG WHIMPERING) Razor. How are you, boy? Thanks for coming. I'm sorry it was such short notice. Don't give it a second thought. Slaughtering vampires, arranging lunch with the queen, just name it. Welcome aboard the Queen Victoria II. The name's Captain MacRae. One thing. While you're here on my boat, you'll abide by my rules, got it? And rule number one. No women allowed on board. They're bad luck. Noah. Did you remember to bring what I asked? Yes. It's stowed below. Hold on! Honey... (GROANS) Amateur! Does anyone else want a go? Well, if you're offering, sure. Why not? I'm game if you are. (GRUNTS) Believe me, my dear, I'm just as disappointed as you are. I've never seen Razor take to someone so quickly. I suppose you can't be all bad. My name is Noah Van Helsing, from along line of vampire hunters. Now, what do you want with Blade? The rule still stands, old man. No woman on board my boat. Young lady... No. Young man, how much cash do you have on you? It's not a girl after all, it's a boy. Who would've guessed? Fine, have it your way. (BLADE GRUNTING) Noah, hurry up! I've prepared a stronger dose, which I'm hoping will make it last longer. The problem is, you're developing a resistance to the retrovirus. Fine, fine. Enough talking, old man. Just do it! (GRUNTING) (GASPING) BLADE: Stop! Get out of here, little girl. Shame on you. Not very sporting, killing your prey in his sleep. Let's let him rest a bit longer. No? He's a hybrid, half-human, half-vampire. What they call a Daywalker. The drug helps suppress his thirst for blood, but the side effects are excruciatingly painful and get worse every time. Coffee? No, thanks. (CHUCKLES) You know, I've known Eric for along time. We first met on a night much like this. Dover, England I'm sorry, mister. I had to. I can't control it. (DISTANT SCREAMING) (PANTING) I don't know when I've had such good sport. Thank you, fair lady. You must feel honored to be chosen by a baron. Bring her to me! (ALL SNARLING) (SCREAMS) (WHINNIES) (GROWLING) What's this? You're one of our kind. You're wrong! I'm nothing like you! I'm a human being! Unbelievable. How interesting. You're a seriously confused fellow. One only has to look at your eyes to know what you are. Unless you're... Can it be? A hybrid? Is that it? Hello! Sorry to interrupt the hunt, Baron Howard! And who are you? A hunter as well. Only my quarries happen to be vampires. What? I wanted your last meal to be special. So tonight, you dine on the finest silver. (ALL SCREAMING) Lady. Hey, lady, you okay? (SOBBING) Yeah, they're gone, it's okay. How can I ever thank... You're one of them! (SCREAMING) Not her type, I guess. Maybe it's the eyes. Or the fangs. Well? I'm feeling so... NOAH: I see. Sunlight has no effect on you. Extraordinary. So you're a Daywalker. I never really thought they existed. I'm a human being. BLADE: Why did you help me? Well, it's not every vampire that would apologize to his victims. You were there? Well, after all, lam a vampire hunter. I know their feeding grounds. I hate this. Every day I have to live with these cravings is a day too long. But I've got a score to settle before I can leave this world behind. Must be important for you to prolong a life you so detest. Have you ever come across or heard of a vampire known as the Man with Four Fangs? No, I can't say that I have. He killed my mother. I need to find him. If you really want to suppress your cravings for blood, I might have the answer. It's the prototype of a retrovirus I developed from the ashes of vampires. I was hoping to create a vaccine for those humans who turned into vampires. It takes a long time to produce. This is the very last sample I have. But the experiment was a failure. I can't stop the retrovirus from attacking the human DNA along with the vampire virus. It destroys everything in its path. All my test subjects ended up turning to ash themselves. However, you, my boy, are different. You're a hybrid. In your case, the retrovirus might suppress the cravings of your vampire half. Of course, I make no guarantees, but I think it's worth the risk. You may not turn to ash, but end up dying anyway. You saved that woman's life. Why did you do it? What does it even matter? If you only want to survive long enough for revenge, killing vampires ought to do the trick. Why waste time on her? Why protect a human? Seeking human blood and wounding others, getting revenge on the Man with Four Fangs would be all right. But is that what you really want? If you do not get revenge, what will you say to the humans you have harmed? Can you really stop at saying that you are different from the vampires? This retrovirus could kill you. But if it works, and you survive, you'll have to decide how to use this second chance. It's your call. I'm in. Here we go. (SCREAMING) Listen to me! Right now, your body is suffering pain just like a vampire. But unlike the others, it's only your body that's afflicted, not your soul! That's why you can do this. That's your humanity. If you truly want to be human, then you've got to reach down deep and cling to that! I'll do it! Whatever you say, old man. But don't think I'll give up my revenge! NOAH: I heard the stories long ago, but I never believed them. Stories of a miraculous child, born of both human and vampire. h' this was indeed that boy, the miracle was he survived at all. (GROANING) You're not a pile of ash! Noah, would you please teach me how to fight them? I have no need of an apprentice, Eric. But I do have an opening for a partner. If you're interested. We've been traveling the world killing all manner of vampire ever since. He came to be called "Blade" for his weapon sometime afterwards. That's heartwarming. It still doesn't change the fact that he killed my father. So you want revenge. He was a hunter, too? What if I do? You're wrong. What you're really trying to do is run away. Yeah, from what? As vampire hunters, we fight not only the darkness in others, but also that in ourselves. It's a part of us, and there's no getting away from it, no matter how far you run. You've seen that old knife Eric always has? Maybe. Certainly, as far as weapons go, it's worthless. When I look at him, I wonder why is he trying to survive as long as he can? I have a feeling I might understand. There's no need to ask. The job of the hunter is not to protect. But he exists to protect someone. Who are you trying to protect by going after him? Good Lord. The coffee's gone ice cold. I'm a silly old fool. Forgive me for going on like that. How about a cup, young lady? My special blend's pretty good, you know. Go on. It will do you good. Stop calling me "young lady." The name's Makoto. All right, fair enough. As long as you promise not to call me a boring, old cont. What is that? I have no idea! What is it? Why all the ruckus? MAN: Mandurugo. Mandurugo, what are they? Winged vampires native to the Philippines. Aim for the heart! Make each shot count! These silver bullets aren't cheap! Here they come! Rule number two, no blood suckers on my boat! Damn it. Out of ammo! Damn! (LAUGHING) We heard you were on your way. Welcome! You won't set foot on Philippine soil. Hold it! Damn! Out already? Makoto! Blade needs help! But I... Well? Move it! You're a vampire hunter, aren't you? (LAUGHING) Your friends can't help you now, half-breed. Now die! Eric! BLADE: I have to use my valuable vaccine on these guys. What is that stuff? How does "human" taste now? (SCREAMS) Matthes! (CHEERING) You were great. (NOAH YELLING) (SCREAMS) What now? We chase them. Chase them? (GROWLING) Maintain our course to the south, the Philippines. Well, Tara... it took some getting used to, but this "being a mom" gig ain't naif bad. I've waited a long time for this. The time has come for us to return to our master. I- Eric... I feel something. Carol! NARRATOR: Next time on Blade: That was Then, This is Now That was Then, This is Now School... It's challenging, demanding, and takes a whole lot of work, And it can be hard on your kids, too. Jeez, Brick, what do you got in here? This thing weighs a ton. Well, I told you, there's been a measurable increase In workload now that I'm in third grade. It's really cutting into my reading time. Okay. Chicken nuggets... Piles of popsicle sticks... Oh! An ant farm. Oh, sorry. Ant cemetery. You got a "D" on your math test? You don't get D's. Eh, what are you gonna do? I'll tell you what you're gonna do, Brick. You're gonna study. Math is very important in life. You use math in everything... Oh, even I can't say it like I believe it. Hey. Hey. Look at this... a "D." - Axl, get in here! - This is Brick. Really? What happened, buddy? You don't get D's. We're kinda counting' on you to pull up the family average. I'm reading at an eighth grade level. Why can't I please you people? ! Just reading isn't gonna get you into college. Oh, I'm not going to college. I've decided to live with you guys forever. Forever. Well, mike, you know what this means, don't ya? Oh, jeez. We're gonna have to help Brick with his homework. In our house, helping with homework Is something that's never gone well. Write it down. Write it down. Why aren't you writing it down? ! Just write whatever you want! I don't care! It's not my homework! It's your homework! Well, this time, we're just gonna have to make it fun. Write it down. Write it down! Why aren't you writing it down? ! That's not how Ms. Rinsky told us to do it! - Well, how did she say to do it then? - I don't know! - Just write it down! - We're supposed to show our work. Well, you didn't do any work! I did. You should show her a picture of me. Are you sure there's not some other instructions that Were sent home or something, something you might have lost? Oh, yeah. You know what? There is. There's a big ol' packet of instructions with All the answers to everything we'd ever want to know, And I've been hiding it from you. Well, go get 'em! Mom! Oh, no! It's your turn to go help aunt Edie and aunt ginny. I went last week. Yeah, but last time, I accidentally drank - From their denture cup, so that should count for two! - I'd say three. If aunt Edie asks me one more time If I've had my BM... Why does she care? ! You know what? You two should be ashamed of yourselves. You should want to go over there and soak up every bit of wisdom You can get from them! If I were you, I would consider it a privilege! Then why don't you go? Because I'm trying to teach you to respect your elders... And I did my time. And you know what? Since you're fighting about it, You're both going. That's not fair! Ohh, no! I don't want to hear another word. Go. No! I don't... ohh! We're useless, mike. We can't even help our kid with third grade math. Well... maybe you should go Talk to his teacher and get him some help. We were both banned, but I was banned first, so you have to go. Oh, I was banned last, so you should go. Okay, you know what? The first person to get the answer to the next problem Doesn't have to go talk to Ms. Rinsky. Deal. "Two trains are leaving the station at the same time..." Fine! I'll go. What was I worried about? It had been months Since I last saw ms. Rinsky. She might not even remember me. Hi. Ms. Rinsky. Frankie Heck. Brick's mom? Ohh. Not today. She remembers me. Would you like me to come back another time? No. Sit. Talk. Unburden yourself during my limited free time. Okay. Well, see, Brick got a "d" on his math test. Sometimes kids get D's, but not your son. Oh, no. He has to be perfect At every single thing he does, right, mommy? I... You know, ms. Rinsky, you're very funny. Brick never mentioned how funny you are. Are you helping him with his homework? Oh, . No. He does it all himself. He's getting a "d." maybe you should help him. Oh, no. We do. We do. We totally do. It's just that we can't help him, 'cause we don't really understand it ourselves. Okay, okay. I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm going to set aside some extra time... An evening next week... To teach parents a math class. Oh! That would be so... Wait. What? A class for parents? Is there a problem? No. That just sounds like a lot of work... For you. Welcome, parents. I'm sure we're all thrilled To be here on a night when "the mentalist" is on, But tonight we're gonna learn... excuse me. Ms. Rinsky? How wonderful. An interruption. Should we take notes, or will there be handouts? There'll be handouts. Now as I was saying... I'm gonna take notes anyway, just to be safe. Brought a fresh notebook. Oh, boy. What? Is that who you were in school? You were that person? What person? "ms. Rinsky, should we take notes?" You know, the suck-up, the goody-goody, the narc. Well, if we have to be here, mike, I want to make the most of it, And actually, I was very cool in school. Okay. I was. Okay. I was. Am I gonna have to separate you two? Please. Let's face it, to teenagers, old people are like Alien life forms from a faraway galaxy They don't really want to visit. How are things going in school? You're... yo in... What, the second grade now? Uh-huh. Eighth. I'm actually working on a really big science project right now, So that's why we have to leave In a little less than 14 minutes. When I was your age, I used to love school. I remember once we had to do this time capsule... You know, fill it with important things And bury it in the backyard So we could dig it up when we were grown. Really? And... and did you? Did you dig it up? Oh. Moved before I could. What a shame. You know, I think of it every day of my life. You have? Oh, my god. That's so many days! So if you look at number five in your handout, Using the chunking strategy, what is the answer? 74. 112. Excellent... Mostly everybody. Here. Let me show you. You're thinking addition. You need to... I don't need your help. I can do it myself. Nice job, mr. Heck. You get it. Well, now that you explained it, it's comin' pretty easy. "now that you explained it, It's comin' pretty easy." Axl, ever since we got home, I can't stop thinking about aunt Edie. That bone spur thingy on her foot? No, but ew. You know what we need to do? We should totally take her to dig up that old time capsule! Yeah, I'd love to drive my dor sister And senile aunt around, then dig hole. Let's go! Axl, you need to start thinking outside of yourself! Look at beyonce she has every reason In the world to be selfish, and she still gives back! Wouldn't it be amazing if we could find the capsule For aunt Edie and make her dreams come true? ! Sorry. My time is way too valuable. Hoo! Ha! Hoo-ha-ha! Hoo! Oh! I know this one! Ha! I got one before you. Oh, so you finally got one, did you, dear? Why don't you come to the board and show us your work? No, no, no. I'm good. I wasn't asking. Okay. The answer is 185, So you need to add or subtract to make 10s. 146... Plus 4... Ahem. Equals... 150. 39 plus 1 equals 40. Okay, wait. Um... I'm supposed to be chunking, right? I'll just... Start it all over. Okay. Talk amongst yourselves, people. You don't have to be quiet for me. This is silly. I know this. I really do. I mean, come on. It's third grade math. Then it shouldn't take long, dear, Because once you get this right, we can all go home. Carry the 1... The 1... Carry, uh... Did you know I can name every president in order? George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, james Monroe... James Madison... James Monroe... Okay, I sucked at the math class, And it turns out I only knew 16 presidents, But at least mike and I were able to help Brick study For his big math test the next day... And by "Mike and I," I mean mostly Mike. Hey. You got it. Oh, I am so proud of you! He got it, right? Yep. High five! Hey, aunt Edie! I got everything except the scotch. The guy at the liquor store still wouldn't sell it to me, Even with that note you gave me. Aunt Edie. Aunt Edie? Aunt Edie? Hey. Hi. I'm sorry. I never took you to find your time capsule thingy, And now you'll never get to! Ohh! I'm so selfish! Why can't I feel like Beyoncé? ! Stop caterwauling... And top off my drink. Aunt Edie! You're alive! I am? Yes! And you know what? I'm gonna help you find your time capsule! Not tonight, though, 'cause sean and darrin are coming over, And we're punching each other in the stomach, You know, firming up the core, But tomorrow we're gonna find that time capsule! Oh, hey, Brick. Hey, when are you supposed to get your math test back? Oh, I already got it. Whoa. Hold on. How'd you do? Some might call it a very low "d." Some might call it a d-minus. What? You did worse? Well, I was confident going in. Eh, well. What are you gonna do? This is nuts. What do you think happened? I'll tell you what happened. Ms. Rinsky is what happened. She's just a bad teacher! Mm. Could be. She intimidates people, mike. I experienced it firsthand. You can't do math With those cold, dead eyes staring at you. Brick probably melted down just like I did. Probably. Maybe she was a good teacher when she was younger, But now that she's older, she just doesn't care anymore. Yeah. I'm a lot younger than her, And I don't really care anymore. She's jaded and burned-out, and the last thing She should be doing is teaching kids that young, But does the school system care That she is creating a hostile learning environment? No, because the school system is broken, mike! It's broken. You're right. Somebody should do something. They should. Where you going? Bed. But we're in the middle of a conversation. Really? I was at the end. Night. Well, maybe mike could turn it off, But I was too worked up to sleep, So I called my sister... I mean, when a kid as smart as Brick gets a d-minus, Something's wrong. I called my mom... When a kid as smart as Brick gets a d-minus, Something's wrong. And at 3:00 in the morning, I'd had enough talk. Hey. What are you doing up so early? I never came to bed. I was too worked up, So I made a few phone calls, I organized the junk drawer, And then I fired off an e-mail to the principal About ms. Rinsky. You did what now? Don't worry.T's good. You wanna hear it? Mm-hmm. I made some very good points. "dear principal Larimer, "I'm writing to bring to your attention An issue of concern for me as a parent." huh? "it regards one of your teachers... ms. Rinsky. "I have tried repeatedly to have an open dialogue with her "about my son's education, "but she has been completely uncaring and dismissive. "today, more than ever, Don't we need teachers who are caring and missive?" okay, that might not be the right word, but wait. It gets better. Okay. "her teaching skills in math don't add up." Mm. "Maybe 'cause when she was born The numbers only went up to ten." oh. Mm. I don't remember writing that, but... "if you want to schedule a parent-teacher conference "with her, good luck. "your best bet is scheduling it with the bartender At beefsteak Charlie's. Glug, glug." "is this the kind of teacher you want at your school... "one who instead of nurturing our children, "uses mind games and intimidation? "she would've made a fine... Nazi. Maybe she... Was. What do we really know about her?" Oh, my god! What was I thinking? How did this happen? ! Sounds like beer happened. I only had four! You once picked a fight with your reflection after two. Is there more? No, that's it. "sincerely, Frankie and Mike Heck." What? ! You signed my name? ! Why would you sign my name? ! 'cause this is your fault! You got me all pumped up by supporting me! That's what husbands do! Wives say they're gonna do stuff, And we listen and nod. Right. That's being supportive. No, that's avoiding a fight and getting to the tv faster. I didn't think you were ever gonna do anything. As long as I've known you, You've been all talk and no action. You found a rat's foot in a can of chili and never got around To writing a letter. I was just so mad at ms. Rinsky! Why are you talking about ms. Rinsky? It's nothing, honey. Everything's fine. Well, I love ms. Rinsky. She's great. She gives us candy when we get the answers right. Yeah. I know you like ms. Rinsky, but she's not perfect. Don't forget, you got a "d" on that test. Yeah, I'm thinking That might be 'cause I only answered three questions. How many questions were there? 45. Brick! She said we could have free reading time When we finished the test, so I finished in five minutes. You're lucky you got a "d." I know. Ms. Rinsky's the best. So Axl and Sue decided, whatever it took, They were gonna help aunt Edie find that time capsule... And it took a lot. Aunt Edi we've driven around this block a million times. Do you see your old house or not? Not. I think we need to go back to Wheeler's market And make left this time. That's it! That's my house! That's a taco stand, aunt Edie. We need to go back to wheel market And take a left this time. Any of these look like your house, aunt Edie? Look for the boy who brings the ice. He'll know. Well, thanks to that new high-speed internet we tried free for 90 days. The principal did get my e-mail and called to say She wanted to meet mike and me as soon as we got off work. Hi. We're the Hecks. We're here to see principal Larimer. Oh, you're Brick's parents. He has ms. Rinsky, doesn't he? Isn't she the best? I just love her. Really? I just love my family members. I think it's a really overused word. Aunt Edie, are you sure this is the right yard? How many holes are we gonna be digging here? This is crazy! I found this weird bone. It's either a cat leg or a finger. It's freaking me out. Let's just get out of here before these people get home. Axl, we can't stop now! We have come all this way, and why? For aunt Edie! To give her the one thing in her life She has always dreamed of! Wait! I remember! It was a book. You buried a book? No. It was in a "Nancy Drew" book. She buried a time capsule, And I always thought that I should do it, And I never did. I'm digging a lot bigger hole. I'll tell you one case Nancy Drew's not gonna solve! Who's out there? Ooh, run! Run! Oh, look. Oh, ms. Rinsky's here... In our meeting. Wow. You look so pretty. Is that a new top? No. Thank you for coming down. Whenever parents have a complaint, We take it very seriously. Look, in our e-mail, My husband and I said a lot of things. Really it's just a bunch of words. What words were you referring to... "drunk" or "nazi"? Name-calling aside, once these matters come to light, We are mandated to address them promptly and swiftly. Well, what's prompter than forgetting about it? You know, I've already moved on. This type of behavior will not be tolerated. You have to be stopped. I'm sorry. You're looking at me. She's sitting over there. We're looking at you, dear. We are all looking at you. Whoa. Hold on a second. This is starting to sound like it's about me. Let's take a look at your file. I have a file? ! Mike! Uh, in her defense, she was very drunk. Besides harassing a teacher, You've also been "overreactive"... "mildly threatening"... "demanding special attention"... Your "intimidating behavior Creates a hostile learning environment..." I am not the one who's hostile! She's the one who's hostile! Wait. Is that going in my file, too? Now we're not going to recommend you leave the school, Because ms. Rinsky would like to handle this directly. Dear, I blame myself. When you acted out, I should never have banned you. I mean, I'm an educator. I believe in second chances. Therefore, you are now the opposite of banned. You're gonna be the new room mommy. You'll be in charge of the phone tree, And the school's pets are gonna be yours on vacations, And every Tuesday and Thursday... Crossing guard. Oh, come on! And please... Get help with your drinking. Brick needs a mother. Will do. Let's go, frankie. Oh, my god, aunt Edie. I can't believe you just sprayed that guy right in the face. That was nothing! I've been teargassed in the face! What? ! Why? Oh, we were at a jazz club, and some of the white kids Wanted to dance with the black kids. Oh, my god. This is just like "hairspray"! Then the cops showed up, and it turned into a riot. Whoa! A riot? Yeah. Sweet! Did anyone use nunchakus? You know, I don't think so, But that riot was something else, and it reminded me... So aunt Edie told them all about the riot, The moon landing, and the time she saw elvis Buying double "a" batteries at Wheeler's market. Maybe Axl and Sue didn't find The time capsule they were looking for, But they ended up finding a better one. And it turns out, I had a little time capsule of my own. A file, mike? Someone seriously has a file on me? How do I go from being a person teachers always loved To a person with a file? Well, you know, maybe they didn't love you As much as you thought they did. So what are we gonna do about this crossing guard thing? I take tuesdays, you take thursdays, And then we switch off? What do you mean "we"? Hey. I'm telling. 'course you are, 'cause you're a narc. (This film is based on the true event of "Wushe Incident") Mouna! Take it easy! A good hunter waits patiently Out of the way! Let me do it! Move! Mouna! Mouna! Mouna, be careful! Mouna! Mouna, here come the Bununs from Kntabang Clan! Let's go! Come on! Come on, let's go! Leave the boar! There he is! Kill him! Mouna, get down! Over there! - Mouna is over there! - Shoot him! Come on! Hurry! Listen to me! My name is Mouna Rudo! Be alert when you hear this name again! Who? Who becomes the hero? Who is it? Your Mouna is back! It's your Mouna! He's back! It's Mouna! Mouna is a true man now Mouna is back! Well done, Mouna! A true man is back! The hero is back! Mouna... you've offered blood sacrifice to our ancestors' spirits I hereby tattoo the marks of manhood on your face From now on... you shall abide by our ancestral spirit to guard our clan and our hunting grounds On the rainbow bridge our ancestors' spirits await the reunion with your valiant soul WarriorsofTheRainbowI: SunFlag (In 1895) (the island of Taiwan was ceded to Japan) (under the Treaty of Shimonoseki between Japan and China) The island of Taiwan is the new territory of our empire yet to receive our Mikado's grace The islanders are warlike innately It's said that they're armed to fight us but they're a scattered bunch, nothing to be afraid of Once disembarked at Keelung Port we must sweep the entire island with force We must prevent any disrespect from the people so as to gain their wholehearted allegiance to our empire of the sun Especially the heartland of Taiwan occupied by the tribal savages There are ample resources of lumber and mines in the mountains Endless treasures... Father, last night I dreamt of a deer with white spots around its eyes... Sisin babblers are singing an auspicious song Go ahead and hunt the deer in your dream ...for your own wedding Wait! Hold on! Hold on! Charge! Hold on! Charge! Let's kill them! That was the deer in my dream Listen to me! Dance! Let's dance! Everyone Dance! Come and dance, my in-law! Come on, everyone! Let's dance! This is my son Mouna Rudo The bravest and strongest warrior in Mehebu Clan He'll be an unparalleled chief You're wise to marry your daughter to him Dance! Let's dance! Let's cheer for them! Be joyful, everyone! Out of the way! Stand clear of the path please Out of the way! Please! Out of the way! Out of the way! Move! Out of the way please! Hey, my old friend! Oh no! It's him again My old friend! You from Mehebu Clan! Over here! Over here! Hey, boss! Come Must you wear such a big head on that small head of yours? My old friend! Mouna? Seediqs from Toda You from Tnbarah Clan, over here! Hey, young man, don't you make trouble here The tallest one is Mouna Rudo of Mehebu Clan from Tgdaya You've come all the way here with so little meat for exchange? Those of you from Toda are so shameless Why don't you offer your hunting grounds to us for free? Mouna Rudo, don't be too proud I'm not afraid of you Mouna Rudo, I'm Temu Walis I'll cut your head off when I grow up Temu Walis? You won't have the chance to grow up Is that Temu Cire? No, it's Temu Walis I mean that grown-up man I don't know. Not someone famous, I guess Gather up, young men! Come on! Bring your weapons! Come with us! Quick! Put these away! Quick! All young men come with us! Run! Temu! Mouna! Mouna, he's one of our own No one can ever run ahead of me, you hear? Come on, Labay! Are you alright? Laying railway tracks? It's no easy task in the mountains In order to harvest the natural resources in those forests we need to have proper transportation Yeah It's a shame to leave those resources undeveloped but those savages up there... Sir? Here she is, sir She dares not lead you past Hakaw Supeitei, Captain She'll spend the night in her father's house in Meisi She won't accompany you to the hunting grounds of other clans Much obliged Let's go! Captain? Those savages in the mountains are rather ferocious Please be careful! Hey! Hey, it's your turn now Wow! How beautiful! Yes, indeed It was so dark last night that we didn't notice we're surrounded by cherry blossom trees Cherry blossoms? They really are cherry blossoms It's so red Red as blood Blockade the entire Wushe region Ban all trading between the Hans and the Wushe savages Yes, sir Back off! Put down your weapons! Go up there! Hurry up! Come on! It's an ambush! Watch out! Hide there! Quick! They're up there! Uwe! Uwe! Retreat! There's no way out! These intruders are out of their minds How dare they show up at my doorstep Throw them down! Get out of here! Quick! Hurry up! Follow me! I see. I see I see (A Short Account of Taiwan) Give me their biggest enemy There they are! Hello Here The intruders don't allow the Hans to deal with us But we can deal with you, can't we? Idiots! Bring me the wine! Bring the wine! Drink! Look! I'm Mouna Rudo I killed at Hakaw Supeitei a chief of the intruders Mouna Rudo? You're Mouna Rudo? Yes, I am Mouna Rudo! Chief? Chief? Where is Mouna Rudo? I couldn't get him drunk Wake up! Those Bununs from Kntabang Clan are hunting heads Get up! Let's go! Let's get out of here! Hurry! "All the human beings on this land" "The gods bestow upon us a mortal life" "But we are true men indeed" "A true man dies in the battlefield" "and he strides to the heavenly home of our ancestors" "There lies a fertile hunting ground" "that can only be guarded..." "by a qualified true man" "When he arrives at the heavenly home of our ancestors" "he'll come across a beautiful rainbow bridge" "The ancestors' spirits guarding it say..." "Let's take a look at your hands" "When the man opens his hands" "we see bloodstains that can never be wiped clean" "Now you're a true man indeed!" says our ancestors' spirits" Come out, guys! Bring your weapons! Come on! "Go! Go ahead! My hero!" "Your soul may now enter the heavenly home of our ancestors" "to guard the hunting ground of honor" Stop it! It'll never be ignited "And a true woman" "must be good at weaving red coat of arms for her man" "When she reaches the rainbow bridge" "she opens her hands" "showing her calluses that can never be removed" "Go! Go ahead! You're a true woman" "say the ancestors' spirits guarding the rainbow bridge" "Your soul may now enter the heavenly home of our ancestors" "No go weave a rainbow-like dress for yourself!" - Be careful! - Over there! Stop! "A man who's never decapitated an enemy" "or a woman who's not good at weaving" "is not qualified to have their faces tattooed" "Some day, when they're gone" "and their souls arrive at the rainbow bridge" "the ancestors' spirits guarding it would see their" "clean faces and ask... How dare you bring a machete! Bastard! "Are these my children?" "Are you my children?" "Go back! Go back now!" "You're not true Seediqs" "You're not qualified to enter the heavenly home of our ancestors" Run! Come on! Let's get out of here! Run, Mouna! Just go! Rudo, are you alright? Father! "Suddenly, the tribesmen find themselves blowsy" "their eyes blank" "They turn around in shame and walk though the rugged valleys" "They become wailing ghosts suffering unbearable pain" "from all the cuts by the poisonous crabs along the creek" Mouna... you must keep the intruders away from our clan "Mouna, do you understand?" "Abide by our ancestral dictations" "and be a Seediq Bale a (true man)" Excuse me, sir Let's see... The first one from the left is Mouna Rudo the chief of Mehebu Clan Those behind him are Ubus and Mouna Sine Mouna, stop glaring Look down Mouna, stop glaring Ubus... our ancestors never lost any of our hunting grounds in the past I can't believe these intruders are taking them away from us now I'll never submit to them I will never These are all yours? I will never! Mouna! Stop it! Mouna! Hurry up! It's going to rain Awi! What's wrong? Are you alright? What's wrong? Are you alright? (Wushe, 1930) Schools, clinics, grocery stores post offices, hotels, boardinghouses... We've managed to civilize all the Wushe savages It's not an easy task Hard to imagine that this was once the most uncivilized heartland here Carrying logs... and walking from the lumberyard uphill to here takes them a whole day, doesn't it? Don't worry. These savages are strong And they're more than happy to earn some money for millet wine Come on. This way please Mr. Satsuka, how long have you been in Wushe? Over a decade So you know this region very well? Of course. My wife is a savage woman - I know this region like the back of my hand - It's this bone right here It hurts so much when you press it Right here? Ah! Easy! Here! Have a drink! No more wine for us please. We can't afford it It's alright This one's on me You're indeed a beautiful serpent Every day I carry those damn logs without getting paid properly Now I'm so broke that even my hounds look down on me We're losing our hunting grounds and you still keep the hounds to look down on you? Look! Those are the trees that used to watch over our ancestors This is how they end up Strange thing is, why so many constructions? What? Not only do you befriend us with wine but you speak our language fluently Hey! It's going to rain - Stop drinking and go home! - Good morning, sir! Good morning, Mr. Policeman You've worked all day long for such a mean wage and you waste it on wine? What else can we do with so little money? Yeah, right! We're savages, aren't we? We aren't supposed to know anything about saving money Yeah, Mr. Policeman. You're Japanese, sir You don't know how hard our lives are Only Mr. Wu here understands us He's a beautiful serpent He's a viper! - Excuse me - Hello - I'd like some salt, please - No problem Oh no! It's raining! Hurry up and go home, sir Or your glorious uniform will be soaking wet Go ahead! Go on! Run, sir! Your Japanese fur is too precious to spoil It's raining Go collect the laundry hanging outside Can't you tell what needs to be done first? Hey, come back! Are you taking the baby out in the rain? I'm sorry What an imbecile! Who'd marry such an idiot like you? When it rains, it pours Good morning This is our policeman Hanaoka Jiro This is our new police minister Ekawa Hakudo Jiro is a savage too Older brother - Older sister - Older sister - Younger brother - Younger brother - Younger sister - Younger sister Okay, one more time - Father - Father - Mother - Mother - Older brother - Older brother Older sister... Hurry! She's in labor! Two savages can never give birth to a Japanese child Are you alright, Hanako? This job is for women only. What are you doing? Dakis, get out of here! Get out! Oh, what an extraordinary sight! Timber! (Hark, people) (Behold, people) (Oh, our warriors) (The youngsters much like the budding pine leaves) (They show true bravery) (Fought in the falling leaves) (Fought under the withered pine tree) (Now they're back with heads hunted) (Our warriors fought with all their might) (Mahebu Police Station) Chief! Pawan, why aren't you in school? I'm sick Sick? But you don't look like sick Did your teacher beat you? I raced a Japanese kid and I won And the kid was crying The teacher blamed me for bullying him, so he beat me Can I have another one please? I'll win the race on the sports day Those Japanese kids can cry their balls out when they watch me getting awarded Chief, I hate the Japanese Chief Mouna? My grandpa said you were a hero when you were younger Your grandpa said I was a hero when I was younger? I'm still a hero. Does he know that? Chief Mouna, will you take me along next time you go hunting? Pawan, where is your hunting ground? Chief Mouna! I'm alright. Just a little bit tipsy, that's all What the hell? Hanako! Look what you have done! How many times do I have to tell you that you cannot drag these logs along? You destroyed the logs Only the bark is scratched The inside is still intact You savages! How many times do I have to tell you? What? You wanna fight? The paths are slippery because of rain He nearly lost his life slipping down a slope Where is your log? Slipped into the ravine Slipped? Do you know how expensive it is? Pihu! Yoshimura! Chief Mouna... Sir Yoshimura? You're looking at me at such a disrespectful angle Aren't you afraid of being stabbed blind? Who do you think you are? You're not the boss here in Mehebu I am! You will not get paid today The precious logs are destroyed Do it again and you'll have to pay for the loss - Keep working! - With what? We get nothing from working for you What do you want us to pay with? Pihu! - Chief Mouna, he... - I saw it Go home! Yoshimura, stop picking on them You don't know nothing I was educating them These damn savages! I'll have you pay for this some day Good morning What? Checking out guns? Watan Robo is getting married We've got some preparations to do Tado? Baso? I heard your father Mouna Rudo has mobilized lots of men for this hunt? Yeah, but what can we hunt in those disappearing forests? You've about hacked down all the trees on our hunting grounds If we don't go hunting now we'll have nothing left once the trees are all gone Tado Mouna! You'd better watch your mouth! Savages will always be savages They have no manners at all Wait! Pawan? What is the kid doing there? Pawan! Chief Mouna! My hunting ground is right here! Temu Walis? You red-foot pheasant! Don't you know this is the Mehebu hunting ground? Mouna! It's just a misunderstanding This is the first time my eldest son goes hunting I asked Temu to bring me here Mouna, I asked Temu to teach him Even so, you cannot trespass into our Mehebu hunting ground This used to be our Toda hunting ground when my uncle was alive You Mehebu clansmen robbed it from us Rob it back if you can Enough! Mouna, can you do me this favor? Favor? Kojima... if you lived in Mehebu now, I'd do you this favor But you live in Tnbarah Clan Take these red-foot pheasants and get out of my hunting ground I don't care if it's your hunting ground or theirs because everything here belongs to us Japanese now Temu, you just wait and see Some day I'll destroy your Tnbarah Clan Go on and do it if you dare Let's see who's killed first I don't care if you're Mouna Rudo Wow, well done Can a girl carry such a heavy load? Go! Go! Good girl! The men in your clan are all out hunting, aren't they? Wanna make some extra bucks? - Come with me to my boardinghouse! - No! - I'll give you two dollars - No! What the hell? Bastard! Sir Sugiura, how dare you! Harassing a Mehebu woman? I was offering her a chance to earn some extra money in our substation It's no big deal I know you Japanese policemen too well Take that blind prey of yours and scram It's true, and she accepted it too Another word from you and I'll have the hounds feast on you Phooey! Fine, fine It's hard to reason with you savages You deserve it! Chicken! You're back, Sapu Chief, the matches you wanted Sapu? Let the kids eat more meat. They're too skinny Mouna! Mouna! Bakan, why does Mouna need so many matches? Who knows? Had any meat, my boy? Have a drink! Father! Father! Father, can we slaughter a cow? Not enough to eat? It's enough, but we haven't had beef for such a long time Do it then Let's slaughter a cow! Hooray! Let's slaughter a cow! Baso, grab it! Grab its legs! Come on! I've cut off the head of the Japanese Governor-general Wow! What a party! Sir Yoshimura Whose wedding day is it? It's Watan and Lubi's Come! Have a drink with us, sir No - No - Come on, have a drink No way I don't drink the wine with your nasty saliva in it - Come on, have a drink - I told you that I don't want to Your hand is all dirty with blood - I invited you with good will - You son-of-a-bitch! You've soiled me with blood! I offered you a drink and you hit me? I'll beat you into senses! - Stop! - I don't need to reason with a savage What is it? Let's go look! Hurry up! I know what you said just now with a boar's head in your hand Out of my way! Say it again in Japanese if you dare Say it again! - Get out of my way! - I dare you! Come on, guys! Faster! Tado! Baso, kill him! I'm holding down his feet! Beat him up! I'm holding down his feet again! Stop! All of you! What is it? What the hell? Let me cut off this pig head of yours! Stop! Stop! Yoshi... Yoshimura You're in big trouble You have the nerve to beat me up Let's kill him! Shut your mouth! Excuse us! Let us through! I'll kill all you Mehebu clansmen I'll kill you all Let's do it, Father, before the Japanese kill us all Why the hell did you provoke him when you knew he'd kill us all? You're nothing but a bunch of hounds that can only chase and hunt and know nothing of self-restraint How much longer do I have to put up with you? Out of my way! Now you're here to bribe me with wine? It's too late I've filed the report on the case of you beating up a police officer Tell you something... This time I'll destroy your clan Yoshimura... I, Mouna Rudo, come here to apologize to you personally Stop being so arrogant Who do you think you are? You think you're still a chief? You can't even control your own sons I don't think you're qualified. to be a chief anymore Get out! Who the hell let you in? Get the hell out! I don't want to see your faces again Go home and rot! Hey! Why did you do that to him? Shut up! I couldn't sleep last night because of a mosquito Really? I'll see to it Mr. Hanaoka! Yes? May I know which clan you grew up in? Gungu Clan And your original name? Dakis Nawi We have another savage policeman named Hanoka Ichiro He is the highest educated policemen here What are you doing this afternoon? I'm going home for some private matter I was to ask you to patrol all the savage clans with us and tell me the relationships among them all - Come with us! - No, it's alright It's alright Do whatever you need to do It's alright - Kabasawa will go with us - Yes He knows the savages well too Yoshimura has reported Tado's case to the substation I can't believe this Yoshimura Chief Mouna apologized to him personally Why did he insist on filing the case? Yoshimura and Sugiura are not the same as Kojima after all They will never try to understand our people If Kojima were living in Mehebu there wouldn't be so much trouble Since I was very little I've always been scared of Chief Mouna It looks as if underneath his mantle he's always gripping his machete ready to draw it to kill anytime He's no ordinary man He's impossible to be tamed It must be difficult for him to torn between the expectations of his fellow tribesmen and the intimidation of the Japanese Aren't we living like that as well? We don't want to be savages but however hard we try to dress up like the Japanese we'll always be seen as uncivilized people We've lived like this for 20 years Another 20 years won't be impossible By the time our children grow up maybe we will have changed forever the savage image of ours Do we still have the chance? Mehebu Clan may be wiped out soon Father, let's fight the Japanese - Ouch! It hurts! - You dumb ass! Father, don't be mad! - Father! - You never learn! - Enough! - You moron! Oh no! How come... It's the temporary bamboo bridge that the savages used in the past It's ugly and insecure, but they keep walking over it I'll tear it down sooner or later But it saves them lots of time if they walk over it to fetch water or to the field Look! This wire bridge is strong and firm Tado? This young man is Tado Mouna the eldest son of the Mehebu chief Mouna Rudo But he saw us without saying anything Is there anything wrong with him? No, it's a habit of the savages It's not a very good habit Oh well, they're savages after all Can you stop talking about them like that? - Sugiura! - Welcome, sirs This is Officer Sugiura This way please You should've informed me before you came here, sir I could've asked those savages to welcome you with dances No need for that We're only showing our hospitality Chief Mouna! What? Chief Mouna, can you tell me something about Japan? I know you've been there before They have armies, cannons, machineguns airplanes and large steamers in Japan There are more Japanese people than the tree leaves in the forest than the pebbles in Jhuoshuei River I know why you're asking me this You don't really want to know Japan All you want is to remind me how powerful the Japanese are Don't worry. I'll never forget Humph! You Japanese policemen took us on the ship for days to Japan but all they showed us were airplanes and cannons However, the policemen in Japan were much nicer and kinder than those of you here They feared we'd revolt against them so they tried their best to befriend us But those of you here in the mountains always provoke us so much that I want to hunt your heads Chief Mouna, I'm still a Seediq Although I'm now a Japanese policeman I never forget that the same blood runs in our veins Dakis, when you die are you entering a Japanese shrine? Or the heavenly home of our ancestors? I heard that... in the school for savage children you beat up our kids like the Japanese do I beat them up because I don't want the Japanese to look down on them You graduated from Normal School You're more highly-educated than any other Japanese policemen But how come you get the lowest salary? Don't the Japanese look down on you already? Beating up your own people makes them look down on you even more During our stay in Japan the Japanese knew all of us chiefs from different clans hated one another but they made us sit together at the dining table deliberately We were glaring at one another all the time while we were eating intending to draw our machetes and kill Humph! The Japanese are good at these things Chief, is it so bad to be ruled by the Japanese? At least we're leading a civilized life We have schools and post offices and we don't have to survive by hunting savagely anymore Is it so bad to be ruled by the Japanese? Is it so good to be ruled by them? Our men are forced to bend over to carry logs on our backs and our women have to kneel down to serve and pour wine And all the money ends up in the pockets of the Japanese policemen I'm a chief but all I can do is get drunk and pretend I see nothing and hear nothing What else can I do? Post offices? Stores? Schools? Do any of those things make our lives easier and better? Instead, we're made to see how impoverished we are Chief, can't we bear it for another 20 years? In 20 years, there will be no Seediq and there will be no hunting ground All our children will have turned Japanese Chief Mouna, have you made up your mind to do it? Chief Mouna? - About Yoshimura... - I'm old Don't worry The Japanese are far too powerful I won't go against them Go home This is the hunting ground that belongs to me only Get lost - Chief... - Get lost! Dakis, have a drink Go home and get yourself dead-drunk We can't drink anymore - We already... - Drink! The millet wine that we make can set our people free making them sing and dance, cry and laugh freely You'll see once you're drunk Go home now Mouna! Father? Mouna, the tattoos on your face are still so dark and clear You're indeed a Seediq Bale You're a true hero Mouna? Look at the lines on that rock It split into half when struck by the lightening, didn't it? In the dim light at dusk the lightening splits a rock into half What a beautiful sight! Father? I can't keep the intruders away (Ah, it's for real) (Here I am) (I used to guard these mountains and forests bravely) (Oh yes, it's for real) Mouna, let's sing We haven't sung together for long (Reminisce the people from the past) (Here I am) (I used to guard these mountains and forests bravely) (These are our mountains) (These are our creeks) (We're the true Seediq Bale) (We go hunting in the mountains) (We share food in our clan) (We fetch water from the creeks) (I'm willing to give my life for these) (Oh, creek! Be quiet) (Sisin babblers are singing) (Sing us a beautiful song please) (Sing for our people) (a song of our ancestral spirit) (I'm willing to give my life too) (When the lightening rifts the rock) (a rainbow appears) (and a proud man emerges) (Who is this man so proud? ) (It's your offspring) (A Seediq Bale) What? Tado Mouna became a hero before I did Those Japanese are outrageous I can't believe they beat up someone who offers them a drink A while ago... three girls from Boarung Clan were asked to serve them drinks and they were raped Why couldn't Tado be a real hero and kill Yoshimura right on the spot? Kill him? Don't you remember how my family died? My father killed only one Japanese man and they burned my whole family alive I was hiding in the woods watching without even blinking my eyes So... that's why we can't kill only one Japanese man We have to kill all of them to make a difference Are you kidding me? We wouldn't still be sitting here if we could kill them all Now the Mehebu chief Mouna Rudo is driven to bay by that policeman from the lumberyard and the day after tomorrow on October 27th is the big sports day By then, all the Japanese in Wushe are going to gather in one place Is it time already? Father, there won't be a better chance And we have no other choice We can't have the Japanese look down on us anymore We need to show them what we're made of Let's fight them, Chief Yeah! Let's fight them Young men... I hate the Japanese no less than you do But do you realize that we're going to die after all this and all our people will be wiped out? Our ancestors shed their blood in exchange for our lives Now we're taking our children along to the battlefield to shed blood We're Seediq Bale, aren't we? Temu, does your father know you're here? My father told me that I should ask Chief Mouna to help us youngsters get our faces tattooed so that the ancestors' spirits guarding the rainbow bridge will recognize us as the true Seediqs Father? If we want revenge, it'd be the business of Mehebu Clan alone But if we're offering a blood sacrifice to our ancestors it will be the business of all the 12 clans in Wushe Keep it a secret before action We must tell none of the elders, children or women - in all these clans - When did you... I'm speaking here. Are you listening? Keep it a secret before action I knew Chief Mouna had a plan already What do you know? It's your idea and your responsibility Inform the chiefs of all the 12 clans Tomorrow morning... we're going to gather in Wushe and offer a blood sacrifice Our ancestors' spirits... We're here for the guns. Sorry to disturb you - Boss... - Welcome. This way please Fill them up with salt And give me ten boxes of matches Wow! Lots of things to buy, huh? Boss, we'll pay for it next time On credit again? - Yes, we can - How much is it? No, you can't! Wait! You're buying all these on credit? It's alright It's alright? But you never pay me back! Let's give them a hand That old drunkard Mouna Rudo really can't take it anymore? I'll ask the young men to get ready before they all get dead drunk Young man, how dare you tell me these in front of the police station! Good morning! Pihu Sapu? What the hell was he up to? That crazy boy spells nothing but trouble But we'd be bored around here without him, won't we? You call making troubles interesting? But Why? Ah, Bill, this is my life now. I can change. Be smaller, invisible. See? You're gonna be just fine. I'll see you around, kiddo. Will? Please. Don't leave me. [BILL WHISTLING "WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO"] WILL: Aah! - Will! Will! SVEN: Okay, let's take you, you, not you, you. Qh, you! Please! Somebody! Anybody! I've lost my Will! I beg you! Bring back my Will! [GASPING] [WILL SCREAMS] Mumbley! - Ah, Sven. - Mumbley. - I feed your wife good-y, ja? - Yeah, thanks. Okay, Sven, here we go. Okay, single file with a smile. So you must be Glorious. Heh, heh. And you must be Sven. So pleased to meet me. Really... I am delightful. [HONKS THEN SNORTS] [CLEARS THROAT] I bring to you premium seafood, yeah, from Mumbley. - There he is. - Hey. Via Sven. Wow. [SCREAMING] SVEN: Careful. That's my tongue. - Oh, I'm sorry. - That's all right. Whoo! Oh, yeah. You know, if you are not feeling a full Svensation... I can get you more. No, no, Sven. I'm sure there are many others hungrier than me. Ah. Such a noble. See you for supper? Um, I'm kind of busy. Heh. "Kind of busy." [LAUGHING] Oh, you're funny! [HONK$] Whoo! She is a hottie! Honey, are you okay? Are you sure he's not related to Ramon? [IMITATES SVEN] Oh, you're funny! [MUMBLE HONKS THEN SNORTS] You shouldn't make fun of someone just because they're different. Especially someone who's come all this way... - ...to save us. - You're right. - And when Sven teaches everyone to fly... - It'll be up-uppity-up. ATTICUS: And out of there. ERIK: You'll see. Hey, who turned off the fish? NESTOR: Hey, guys! What's happening to the fish? [CROWD CLAMORING] SVEN: Yoo-hoo! Fish-y friends! What is problem? [GASPS] The bird-eaters! Svensei! You must fly on the wings of hope... and summon them to the aid of our Emperor brothers! You know, I would love to, but I just hurt my tongue. No. [MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY] What? SVEN: Ciao. LOVELACE: Hmm. Interesting. Someone better do something. They're not stopping. Don't worry. I know exactly how to get the attention... of our alien benefactors. [CROWD GROANS] [LOVELACE GRUNTS] [PANTING] Calm down. Deep breath. Deep breath. [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] [PLAYING "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS"] [YELLING] [PANTING] [WHIMPERS] MUMBLE: Lovelace! Mumble, my man! I'm the mayor of Cool Town, population: me! This is great. Ah. Can you believe this? WILL: Where's there a Will, there's a way out! [WILL YELLS] Hm? [SCREAMING] [SCREAMING] [GRUNTING] Huh? [YELLS] [GIBBERING] [SCREAMING] Bill? Is that you? [GROANS] I don't know, Uncle Mumble. They're noisy and they're messing with our ice. BO: Atticus, they're building us a way out of here. ATTICUS Oh. Everybody who said we'd never get out of here, take a look! That's our ice road to freedom. [CROWD CHEERING] It won't be long now, boys. I'll miss this place. So where will we live when everybody gets out? We'll find somewhere new, sweetheart. It's a big world. As long as we're together, we already home. MUMBLE: Yeah. [ERIK GASPS] [SQUAWKING] Come on, everyone. Huddle up. [WILL LAUGHING] WILL: Oh, no, no, no! Carmen, can't you see? Even nature decrees that we be close together. Mm. Yeah. No, no, no. [SNEEZES] [CROWD CHATTERING] [CARMEN MOANS] Oh, you are still here. And you're still here. LOVELACE: They're gone. NESTOR: What? LOVELACE: A little bad weather, they're gone! RAUL: What's going on? MUMBLE: Who's gone? LOVELACE: The aliens! - What? All of this flipperizing for nothing! LOVELACE: Our alien benefactors... have abandoned us! They have abandoned us! SVEN: Everybody! Everybody! The sea is frozen over, ja? Impossible for aliens to return! Too much ice-y. Too much ice-y. PENGUIN 1: If the sea so far away, how we gonna catch food? PENGUIN 2: Yeah, what's the point of us starving too? PENGUIN 3: I guess we should be going. PENGUIN 4: We can't just leave them. PENGUIN 5: I think they're leaving. PENGUIN 6: Who's leaving? - It appears that we... PENGUIN 7: What is he saying? I regret to inform... we are no longer in the catering businesses. [CROWD GASPS] NOAH: Then who will bring us fish? LOVELACE: Some good questions have no good answers. Sven, they can't leave! Not now! I so sorry, fluffy one. If they stay... then they, too, become not alive. PENGUIN 8: Ah! I can't take it! I can't take it any more! Out of my way! I'm getting out of here! [YELLING] [CROWD GASPS] Whoa, that guy was crazy. Yeah. So am I. Come on, girls. Let's do it. - Yeah. - Yeah. CROWD: Go, go, go! [PENGUINS YELLING] Sven. Teach them. Teach them how to fly! Ear-rik, it's not that easy. Help them, Sven. Help them! But not all penguins created equal, Ear-rik. - But you're a penguin. - I a.. I a little more than penguin. I a... I is a... Look! They're halfway there! Come on, Sven. Take them high to the sky! Do it, Sven! - Do it, brother! - No, I can't! ALL: Do it! - They're penguins! ALL: You're a penguin! I'm a bird! You're a what? A bir... den. - What? - Den. A burden. If I don't try, ja? Ja, ja, after all... it's just technique, right? ERIK: Yes! - Yes! SVEN: Okay. Everybody! Head up! Back straight! [PENGUINS YELLING] Okay. Feel the wind beneath your wings! Up-uppity-up! Oh, boy. Rotate flippers and sing, sing! [ALL SINGING "PAPA OOM MOW MOW"] This time. You going down, gravity! Ja, ja, okay, ja. Atticus, my man, I'm coming! ATTICUS: Fly, Daddy... - ...fly! - Fly! Ja! Ja! Come on, guys. Come on. If you want it, you must will it! If you will it, it will be yours! [CROWD GROANS] on, Daddy. Today is a victory... for defeat. Oh, mighty Sven, you did everything penguinly possible. SVEN: I is not a penguin. - What? I is a puffin. [CROWD GASPS] - Wow. - Really? Ja, just a little puffin bird run out of poof. No. Bravo, Lovelace. You brought us a weird bird... and sold him as a penguin. Ha, ha. Bravo, bravo. - Hey. Hey. - Thank you. I deserved it. [CROWD CHATTERING] I'm sorry, everybody. I'm so sorry. But when I lose my homelands... I was very lonely and very afraid-y. And then I meet you and you believe... in me, Sven. Oh. It was nice to have a family. Thank you. Eh, up-up-UPPITY... [FEET TAPPING] Hey, guys, we should try this. RAUL: Huh? Ah. LOMBARDO: Okay. Now, come on. Everyone together. RAUL: You know. LOMBARDO: Tippity-tap! NESTOR: Boomedy-boom! RAUL: Let's do it! [NESTOR SPEAKS IN SPANISH] Come on! Everybody! We're doomed and they're dancing? Unbelievable. That's it. Huh? [LAUGHING] [ALL YELLING] Atticus! - Mommy! - Oh, Boadicea! BO: Are you all right? LOVELACE: Help me! Erik! Help me now! Help me now! He... Ah! ATTICUS: I missed you like crazy. - My baby. SEYMOUR: I missed you even more. Ear-rik. Hold on, Ear-rik. I'm on my way! [BOTH GRUNT] Erik? BO: Bite, Erik! Bite down hard! [GRUNTING] - Grab it, grab it! NESTOR: Use the hips. RAUL: Now spin around, spin around! LOMBARDO: Almost, almost. LOMBARDO: There you go. RAUL: Almost got it! Papa. It's okay, Erik. It's okay. I've got you. - They're tougher than we think, you know. MUMBLE: Come on, Erik. Let's go get off this thing. Carmen! Carmen! Where is Carmen? Carmen! CARMEN: It's okay, Ramon! I'm fine. I guess. I hate these long-distance relationships! - Amigos? RAUL NESTOR: Yes? You must do me a favor. I count to three. - You push me on two. ERIK: He's gonna jump! - But don't tell me, okay? MUMBLE: Hey, hey. RAMON: One. Two. RAUL: Ramon, you're crazy! RAMON: Carmen! I'm coming! My name is Ramon. Ramon Carlos Garcia Santa Maria La Niña Pinta Pacifico... [GRUNTS] Ramon. I can't believe you did this. How could I not? But down here, we're doomed. A thousand lifetimes up there is nothing to this one exquisite moment by your side. [GASPS] You are my world entire. You're beautiful. Only on the outside. No! Why didn't I see this before? You're really beautiful. You really think so? Absolutely. Ramon, my fallen angel. You chased me until I caught you. [RUMBLING] Ay, Ramon, the earth is moving. I know. It's amazing. No, it's moving for real. Move! Move! Keep going. Don't look back. [CROWD SCREAMING] Mumble, that thing's on the edge! Keep trying! LOVELACE: All it needs is a nudge! GLORIA: We can do this! Okay. [CROWD SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] [MUMBLE GRUNTING] - It's just not enough. RINALDO: Not enough. SVEN: Uh, Mumbley. - We're not big enough. - Yeah. My feet hurt. - Excuse me. Mumbley. Mumbley. - Yeah? There's a guy named Lars Gavunsterson. I used to dance with his sister Girta, and I... Well, anyway, we were two-time national champion. MUMBLE: Oh. Oh, okay. SVEN: Amateur division, so... Um... Look, could I give it a shot? Sure, sure. Of course. Attentions! Attentions... everybody! Mumbley's foot is very, very hurt-y. PENGUIN 1: Yeah, like your brain. SVEN: But I have song and dance... from my homelands. It's in Svenish, so join in as best you can. Okay! And a-nooney, and a-dooney and a-vooney! PENGUIN 2: Get off! [SINGING "DRAGOSTEA DIN TEI"] [ALL SINGING] PENGUIN 3: Come on! Help! [SCREAMING] Come on, son. Come on. Where are we going? To find us a lot more oomph. [SVEN GRUNTING] [SCREAMING] [SINGING "DRAGOSTEA DIN TEI"] Where am I? Who turned out the lights? Is this the end? I should make out my will. I, Willy Williams, leave everything to my imagination... Oh, no. Imagination, it's the second sign of madness. If only I'd listened to Bill. Oh, Bill. I'm so sorry! BILL: That's okay, Will. You were right. I should have stayed with the swarm. No. You were right. Oh, great! I'm talking to myself. You're not mad, Will. Now I'm seeing things. What's going on inside my head? ! - Will? - Please, make it stop! Will! [SCREAMING] Ow! Bill? Is it really you? Well, there's only one of me in all the world. You taught me that. Aw, Bill! What are the chances? About one in a krillion, Will. KRILL 1: Quiet, you two. I'm trying to sleep. Hey, everyone! It's Will! KRILL 2: Wow, it's him! It's wee Willy Williams! KRILL 3: I thought he'd be taller. He's back! Will's back! [KRILL CHEERING] Welcome home, Will. But how did you find them? They found me. I was on my last nine legs. I was such a fool, Bill. Will, you're a legend. Those days are gone, my friend. The carnivore is over. No. It's because of you we're all here. It is? I told them how the world really works. How there were predators, how we had to adapt. I led them here, under the great ice. No one can find us here. But we're still at the bottom of the food chain with no significant purpose. Well, we all have a purpose. Yours is to change the world. What possible difference... could one krill make? Wait and see, Will. You wait and see. [ELEPHANT SEALS GRUNTING] [BOTH ROARING] - What are you looking at? - What are you looking at? Don't know, but it sure is ugly. Notice, boys, the witty riposte as weapon? Right. Outside, now! We are outside. - Come on, then. - No... you come on. MUMBLE: Excuse me. Bryan? - Huh? MUMBLE: Down here. Ah, g'day, chief. What are you doing here? Bryan, I need a favor. A big one. For you, champ, anything. I need you to come to Emperor Land. Bring as many of your kind as you can. BRYAN: Why? - To dance. You know... [ALL SNICKERING] Now, why would I wanna do that? - To free the penguin nation. - Oh, yeah? - There's been a catastrophe. - Right. The entire population is trapped. BRYAN: Uh-huh. MUMBLE: By huge walls of ice and snow. Hey! Bryan! Look, I'd love to help you, sport, but you've come at the worst possible time. Maybe after winter or something, okay? No, that's too late. Way too late. Bryan! You gonna fight or what? You said you owe me one. But right now, I got problems of me own. Everyone's cranky, looking for biff. The multitudes need me to keep the peace. If you don't come now, multitudes will die. Here we go. You saying it's my fault now? Whatever's happening to you penguins... don't blame it on me. I'm not. But you can help save them. Listen, fella, you look after your kind, and I'll look after mine. If I thought like that, I would have left you in that hole. That's it, I'm claiming a forfeit. Get off my beach! Wayne, now I'm really gonna hurt you. I saved your life! And I'm gonna save yours. Take your furball and fluff off... or I'm gonna turn carnivore... with a craving for penguin. - But... - The only "butt" I wanna see is yours... walking away. Come on, son. We're wasting precious time. There's nothing for us here. Now, where was I? - Right here. - Oh, yeah. - What are you looking at? - What are you? BRYAN: I don't know, but it sure is ugly. ERIK: No, Pa. This is so unfair. [SINGING] After all you have done. You really deserve better. Nothing makes sense in this world. It's all a big pile of crazy. And the kings are all fools. BRYAN: Hm. Where is. The honor When a. Solemn promise ls just a pretty lie? And the mighty mock. The courage. Of the humble? Although he's just. An ordinary penguin. My daddy taught me. You don't need. To be colossal. To be a great. Heart. You don't need. To fly. To be awesome. My hero. My father [SIGHS] ELEPHANT SEALS [SINGING]: Rolling, rolling, rolling. Keep moving, moving, moving. Keep them doggies moving. Rawhide. Rain and wind and weather Hell-bent for leather. Wishin' me girl was by me side. Oh, my goodness. Mumble. Hey, I know that guy. That's Bryan. ELEPHANT SEALS: Ride 'em in. Rawhide. MUMBLE: Okay. This 'berg needs to topple. Find yourself an elephant seal and show them the moves. Penguin, how's a bit of fancy dancing gonna move that? With enough oomph, we can shove enough snow. Pack it in behind. It'll go. BRYAN: It's not gonna happen. That's a whopping pile of 'berg! Just try it. Hit the beat hard! And together! I know how to hit things hard, okay? - And I'm telling you... - Come on. The impact force of compact ice under pressure is equiv... Just give it a go, you big wuss! Wayne! [ERIK SINGING "UNDER PRESSURE"] [ALL SINGING] - Hello. - Yeah. Here we go. Now you're talking, Bryan! You with me, boys? Oh, yeah! ALL [SINGING]: Pressure. Pushing down on me. Pressing down on you. No man asks for. Under pressure. That tears a nation down. Splits a family in two. Puts people on streets. People on streets. People on streets. It's the terror of knowing What this world is about. Watching some good friends scream. ALL: Let me out. GLORIA: Pray tomorrow. Take me higher. Pray tomorrow. Take me higher [ROARING] You hear that? They're doing it again. - Doing what? - This. [KAUGHS] Fascinating. What is it? I have no idea. Wow! What's it for? Perhaps it's a momentary relief from the existential terrors of existence. - Oh. What? - It brings out my happy. [SINGING] Oh, yes, indeed! Hey, Bryan, what are you doing? Sometimes you gotta back up to go forward. ALL: Tell me why, tell me why. Give ourselves one more chance. Why can't we give ourselves One more chance? Why can't we give love Give love, give love. Give love. GLORIA: Every day. Every night, every hour. Yeah, come on! Take it higher! Come on, come on! Give love, y'all! Give love, y'all! Hey, get down here. - Who, me? MUMBLE: Yeah. - Come on! - Every step counts. ALL: To care for. The people on The edge of the night. And love dares you. To change our way. Of caring. About ourselves. This is. Our last dance. This is our last dance. This is ourselves. Creatures of the world unite Strength in numbers, we can get it right. One time. Yeah! [ALL CHEERING] - Be careful, Ramon. - I'm coming. I'm right behind you. AMIGOS: Ramon! RAMON: Amigos! I'm getting "emotioable" again. CARMEN: Come on, Ramon. RAMON: Coming, baby! - Hi, Erik. - Hello, Bo. Good job, Erik. You too, Uncle Mumble. You really something special, brother. [IN JAMAICAN ACCENT] One nation, Mumble. One nation. Irie, walking out now, Mumble. One nation. GLORIA: So, boys... - Mommy! - Gloria. Where's my hug? [ALL LAUGHING] Oh, my babies. BRYAN: Come on, nippers. Let's get youse home. Hey, Bryan. Cheers. No worries, penguin. No worries. Yeah. No worries. Ja, the Svend. [English - US - SDH] -No one! -No one -Love me better! Me loves best -Makes me happy! -It makes me feel like -No one! -No one -Love me better! -Better than you No one is better than you -Make your way! -Make my body sing We are part Emperor of the Nation -Your way! -Make your way Come, Erik. Let's dance. -Erik. -My little one! -I'll talk to him. -Let me try. Hey, little one! Are you okay? Do not you join the dance? Do not. -Can you say why? -Why? No, no! What I say is ... Uncle Mano, I think he wants to know why dance. As if he needed one reason it is not, Erik? Yes. There are many more reasons to dance. What is my father? The only way to is trying to figure out. Come on, son! Just one foot after another. Nobody will laugh I promise you. Come on, climb on my feet. I do not care with what people say You'll get the hang. Just need to feel the rhythm. We are part Emperor of the Nation Come on, son! Let's shake this world! DoItYourWay DoItYourWay That's it! Come on! It's not funny! When someone pees turned upside down? -I think not! Are you all right? Hurt yourself? My God! This was ... Erik! Erik! Erik! I'm sorry. What a champion! It was not so bad. When I was your age, laughed my ass off of me. They thought I was weird, too. I mean different, know of a cool way! -Mano. -You are cool. -I was cool ... -Take it easy. -Very cool. -Want to know Erik. When his father came the hole he must learn to stop digging. Mano! Want to help me here? We would never have one like you. -No way. -Take a good reason. -You quietly. -You're boring. -This guy bothering you? No, he is nobody. I want to know what is love. Hey, Dude. -Friend. I want to show me ... -Ramon, get out. -The poor Erik! -Ramon? What is it? We are having a conversation family with Erik. So you also zoam and I do not understand. -Friend, please. -Let me handle this. No, no, no. -Let me tell you something. What is his best friend it can not meet the father and son. Hello, where are you. Hello, hello, hello. Look at him here, know cuddly. The fact that wild as we can not be tamed. -This place sucks! -Raul, do not be ridiculous. I will not be, I will return home to delelândia. Erik? Knock, Knock! Honey, I think he wants to be alone now. We can not let it himself in a hole. -We take care of him, uncle. -You can leave! -Let them get along. -You are right! Right! Let's get out of here! I thought I was a good father. Goodbye, Emperors! This incredible Penguin here you never see. Never again! Hey, Atticus! Snack time. Erik! I think they're sleeping. What jokes! They are not here. Bo! Boadicea! Come on, Atticus! Stop kidding, where are you? I know it's hear me, Atticus? Gloria, do you think they could have fled? Alone, out there? -Perhaps, followed Ramon. -Love. I know, I know, but I need go look for them, right? -I will not take. -Dude, relax. We will find them and when we find you solve things. You're a good father. I'll be back as soon as possible, right. -That was a big one. -I hate when that happens. Hey, Will, are you? -Of course I am. -You can not see. No, we are all equal. I do not. Will we Krill. We are all born alike. I'm not Bill, there is only one like me around the world. I am a single krill. -Where you going? -I'm leaving. -I want to be free, Bill. Do not have that to be free. Come on, let's think more school. I'm full of shoals. We walked into school life. Sometimes I think your mind is its own. Tell me, what is beyond the school? More-school. -And then. There is nothing beyond the school, a school are endless. Everything has an end. See, I'm here. And it's not a happy ending. It makes sense, Bill. If I swim to the opposite of the school end up coming ... At the end of the world. Very well. I'll count to three. A. .. Two ... Three ... No, I can! I can! No, not! Yes, I can! No, can not. Who's talking about me? -Can not. Who is ... Let's mess! Let's mess! Today, let's mess! Today, let's mess! It's all-din! It's all-din! Today, let's mess! Today, let's mess! What is this? Let's go delelândia. -No way. We will not without their parents, This is kidnapping. Now, get out! -We can not, we fugivos. Flee-what? -Fugitive. -The nest of the emperors. No happy-feet. What? No happy-feet. -What do you ...? We are rebellious ago of emotion and adventure. E-tasty snacks. Thank you. This guy ... All right! I want to finish soon. And those crustaceans, known those little ones who do ... Yes. We do not know swimming, others have fluff. What? Fur-sinks. More is too high. I have acrophobia. Dude, the water is right there, right there! I do not care! It's too cold for me! Atticus, for. He is eating his wing. Okay. Let's do this. Count to three. Push me in two. But do not let me know. One, two ... Why pushed me. Cute penguins. But cruel. Will! Will! -What are we looking for? -This is where're my friend. I do not know. Will, please come back. I fear the worst. Also I fear the worst. Why fear the best is a waste of time. Here! Maybe it's a black hole. Stop it. It keeps you in school. Came out of nowhere. Swallows everything in its path. For something that does not exist is quite impressive! It's beautiful! Uncle, Ramon? Children, take me home. So this is all we are. Food. And we think that a lifetime without knowing the truth. Criel Goodbye world! Erik. Boadicea. Aticcus. Ramon. You see! It is the main event of the females. I'm about being thrown to the ground and crushed for thousands of Ticas. Rejoice Ticas, the emperor has returned! Ignored by thousands. The emperor returned! I have so much love overflows. -Ramon, live! How long! I thought I had not left. Ramon has twins? There are only three. Children, friends. Friends, children. -That cute. Where, "las Ticas"? -Las Ticas Ramon. -You were gone. -The competition grew, brother. -For me it's impossible! The old-Lover. -It is completely different. He looks like a rainbow. He looks like a rainbow with tits. -Ramon. Very well! Brothers and sisters! All penguins! Whether it is large, no matter how small. We are here today! To see a penguin extraordinary! Without a doubt! It ... The powerful Sven! -Sven! -Sven! He is on top, for now. A penguin that can fly. The Lord then, will be crashing. Tell us brother his testimony. My friends is a long history ... Then resume soon! It begins with a story ... Its beak is larger his head. -Get ... -Security! And are still talking. We're still here for you, brother. -Go ahead. -All right. It starts with a loss ... No, no, no. Sorry for the moment passed. I forgot what I was going to say, maybe tomorrow. No, I'm sorry! Is not flowing, the show is over! -Please, sir. What? Their story is about flight? -Where are you? -From the land of the emperors. And what's your name? Erik. In Insvelândia had many brave warriors Erik called. -Seriously. Yes, of course. Everyone! Your attention, please. I dedicate my comforting much celebrated saga to my brave friend, Erik. Erik! Erik! Erik! It begins with a story ... From my home! Hecomesfromanextinct Penguin Race yourworldveryquickly came to an end The power of flight was what saved me Bye,Sven Papaoomma mow makes your mouth Stylish flew and triple deadly Iescapedtheapocalypse Bye,Sven He was away no rest Hello,andthere With those creatures I had to fight Until they could not the beat Whyhadnotthe courage Sven and the claw Wow! Courage,Sven He found that aliens proved loyal to his knees! restoreit! He adorned lovedit! The fate showed Sorry, sorry. It's okay. Do not hold the emotion. Loving is fine. Fate showed his face gentle Now I'm lost in an unfamiliar place amomentof despair Hedeliveredme fromthe clutches Death pleasurestheycoveredme Why not finish They covered me with an amulet of protection beforehimwas Shining -Sven! -Sven! Erik! And when he tried speak their language What a wonderful aroma wonderful is that? Sven felt something bigger to search for Whoknowswhathesaw that mystical light -I saw our future. What? -He came to me. -Seriously. He said "Sven go through there fast!" I'll go with you. But he lacked fly. Sven- Thenhecameto this place far away theirgifts in presentiar -What is this? -It is amazing. -Seriously, never saw it. Do not. -Is the green. -Green! Brothers and sisters, behold the power of Sven. On that day I made an oath. Sven ... I I promise to use my powers only for good things. For eternity all the time, to create ... eter a new ... Is there no end to the power of Sven? -Will you marry me! No, marry me! -Will you marry me! -Will you marry me! What jokes ... But if I love some, who love girls. They love you. And who will love Ramon? Someone, either. No one. Have you? Dude, bitter, lonely and selfish. You need to learn to think like Sven. -Why? -If you want, you have to want. If you want to be yours! "SvenPense" belongs to me. Did you know that a close look like a fool. Sure, SvenPense. -SvenPense! -SvenPense! -Enough! -License, I'm going through. Prove what does not. All right! Now, listen. -And clear your mind. -Done. And imagine your goal. -Right. And see-blue eyes. -Blonde, blondes are. -Low. -High. -Taiwan. -Sexy. -Whatever, just like. Wish hard, we want by force. Now stronger, we want. -Ramon! -Close your eyes. -Where are the children? -Security! You, me for one another. You and me, no chance! I have a chance, she said no way. Carmen, I think he stick to your foot. Carmen, her name is carmen. Sven, you'll be mine best friend and my godfather. -And then, my friend. -I'm going through. Calm boy Erik is his son? Yes, it is. Children, let's go. Uncle Bud, it's not fair. Come on you all. -But this place is so fun. Erik, come on. Not return to the land of the emperors. Do not be silly. -I will be here. But it's personal at home. His mother must be very worried. Erik, you better do what your father says. But I do not like it there. Oh, little one, I'll tell you a secret, right. Sometimes when you are a little different the world laughs at you. -Right. -Yes. Think you are funny, pointed wings. We have a saying Insvelândia there. Believe in yourself Erik Sven because they believe in you. Can I ask? -Yes. I can fly? -Erik, please. -The boy seeks the larger truth. If you want, must desire. If you wish, all you want is yours. Now, go. Bye! Bye! Son. Erik. You know, when everything goes wrong running away is not the solution. Okay. Need to find itself a way to solve. -Right. -All right. And we are all different part of life to know who is and what their gifts. You can not dance or fly but when you discover is all yours. Got it? Yes, that's okay. Great. -Will, what is this? It's the wave of change. The world is changing, Bill. We have to get in on. My god, can not be. Something somewhere gave the greatest hustle. Something hit the land of the emperors. Come on, children. Let's push the pace. -It's our time, Bill. -Right. Swimming-and-death, my friend. -Swimming? Can not know what we become. Beauty, eat plankton the rest of your life. But that's what we are, are herbivores. -We are vegetarians. What? For everyone devour us. I am no longer so to be on the menu. -Where you going? -Go up the food chain. Food chain? I chew something that has "Face." I do not remember that. It always seems that everything different in the back. So I think we should go the other way. The land of emperors is opposite. Why not go there. No, no, this is better. -But shortcuts are shorter. Not always. What is, is not that far. Guys, stop. Erik, I had to stop. Okay. Okay. Continue, but pay attention and go slowly. It is best not to look down, okay. Atticus, what I said. Good day, a champion! Where to go? In-house. -It is. Me too. If you can go slightly backward shake it to pass. That I can not befriend, retreat. Running the beach not up to anyone. Maybe move to the other side. Do not have this side. -And what have we got here. Then they will have to return everything. I am with children it's kind of dangerous. I know. -And we need to get home. I understand, very fair. But understand my side, champion. One day I will have to protect my thing. Because someone will want to take it from me. When I see, the whole world will see. And in the background of consciousness I have a cruel reminder. Once I stepped for a penguin. He looked at me, is gone. Goodbye, girls, hello empty beach. -Got it. Yes, more ... So get out my face! My mother says that every obstacle is an opportunity. What? Dude, can apologize, or I'll break your nose! -He did not want to do this. -All right. And I still know. - "SvenPense." -Erik, no. His chubby flabby, out of my way. -Erik. -Dad! Where are you Dad? Where did he go? -It is not healthy. Are you all right? I've been better. Daddy, what is doing down there? Go back to here. I do not know if I can. There's a way. More you do not like. Do you want I pull back, right? Hurry up, you can. Least we will not like from you, Dad. Well, I presume technically is a tactical retreat, I think it will just a bit. -Yeah, Dad. -It is going well. -It. Volta. That's right. To me, this is nothing normal. Now see if you can turn to the other side. -All right. -Use the flippers. -Stop! Do not. Come on, Dad, you can. Dad, hear me, Dad? Shyne, Darren! -Dad! I want you to be strong. I know I will. Because you never let me down. Penguin, still there? Yes, right here. You can leave them at home safe with her mother? -Daddy, what are you talking about? -What are you talking about? Sorry, kids. The career of his father came to an end. No, Dad. No, Dad. Let's take a look around. Can you see any way out? Yes, only creating a pair of wings. -Can you move? -I'm stuck, pal. Okay, everybody, move away from the edge we depart the edge. Okay, do not move until I return. Where you going? I'll see what I can do by their father. What can he do? He's just an ordinary penguin. This is another small step for a krill. A great leap invertebrate without a cord. Holy mother of krill! How is your appetite, Bill? He is great? -What do you think you're doing? Armando-strike. Can not ... You do not give boat you're a krill. -We have to evolve, Bill. Progressing ... Out of nowhere, took millions years to get here. Watch and learn, little brother! I will use natural selection. No, no, no. The taste is very aromatic. You bit his ass, do not let go his head. Instead I'll climb on his head. -It is now! Forward-up, my friend. New delights, await us. Penguin, are you? Penguin. Bravely go where was never a krill. We become legend, Bill. That something important! How much longer? It's close. Hey, you idiot! Are you the licks kelp! I guess I was wrong I thought you were ... a cruel machine to kill. Want to try a penguin? Back, Bill. The animal will pick up! He's a warrior! But soon, he will fall, he is seeing death in the face. Good morning, handsome. I'm sorry. It was a mistake. -Boys. -Father worked. SvenPense! He saw his eyes, all terrified. You said he was. I chose to save that poor life. What? -He will tell their friends, spread terror. There's a new predator in the area. -You're crazy! -Someone needs to control the number of individuals of species. -I deserve. Wearethechampions My friends And we'll keep fighting until the end If -sees! -I am the champion! -Am champion! It's a musical delight. Will is the first sign of madness. We champion -How is the shoulder? -Okay. Boot a little ice it improves. Thank you. No, I thank you. Thank you, friend. Brian, the king of the beach, will have another season. That made you a friend of elephant seals. As we speak, children? Thank you, buddy to bring Daddy back. -I owe you, my friend. -Health, Brian. No, I mean it. You only need to ask. Anytime, anywhere, just call beauty. -Only call. -Right. Let puppies, time to go home. Come on, Erik. Come on, children. -We are lost, is not it? -Atticus, we are not lost. The land of emperors should be right here. You are crazy, I'm sure the land of emperors is there. Not here. My God! Then, no! Look, someone got out. They saw, I knew there was a way out. -Friend, how we get out? I do not know. -I am trying to get. -Mano, Mano! -Hey, Dad! -Atticus, my good boy -See you all well. What happened? A huge iceberg came tumbling and rolling and here we are. This is terrible. Nothing that would not to give way, baby. -Mama! -I told everyone to relax. -For he knew they were good. -Where's Mommy? Has anyone seen the glory? Mano, Erik! Mother! -Glory! My beautiful boys, I you never see them. We have to find a way to take you there. Honey, everyone is looking for a way out. If there is an exit, we'll find. Do not worry, Dad. Today, the Uncle Mano took an enormous elephant seal a large black hole. But that hole was quite different. -But he drew. -Mano, can bring a fish for my children. -For me, too. -Here, too. Okay, will do my best. Hey, listen! There's a way of freeing almost all of you. I'm going to delelândia, I'll bring some friends. Will be patients, all right. Where you going? -I take a shortcut. -Of course not. -You will be right here. -But I'm quick. -Erik. -Walk away, she is an athlete. Sorry, Erik, I will go faster. Boadicea! Which girl impossible! I'm impossible even. -Then, boot to break, girl. -Yay! But Ms. Viola, there many dangers along the way. Hazard-no, challenges. -As soon as it comes. Okay, find Uncle Ramon ... Send him to bring friends, Adélie how he can. -Is ... Do not forget the family motto. The RE-MASH. Come on, Uncle Bud, we have too many fish to catch. -So, what news? -Ruins. Every corner, every direction, completely blocked. There are rumors of people thinking the unthinkable. Noah, are calling The Iceberg's End. -How to answer this? -We will try again. -We can not ... Return- to seek hundred times. -There is no escape. -Thousands of times if necessary, there is always a way out. It does have, and right there. Ice, no ice, but it has ice tone and testing ... Let me help you. Ready, you can go. Erik, no! Bounce! You saw, you saw? Never, do it again. Father, I flew! -Erik. -I flew! I beat my wings, was very quick. -And I went up. -Son, we are penguins -We can not fly. -But Sven is a penguin. I do not know what type of penguin Sven is, but penguins are Emperor, we can not ... -If I learn to fly Mom can get out of there. I do not know if there is a way out. Erik, surely, is not flying. If you want you must desire and if you want -What is your wish! -Erik, get real. They are trapped. They are hungry and afraid. The last thing we need is false hope. -Boys? -Then all will die. Boys, what's the problem with you two? It's just a conversation. -Erik? We need a mother's love. It will explode. Dude, why will not catch a few more fish? He is not hungry, Aunt Gloria. Yeah beauty, Atticus, I know, I understand. I'm going fishing. Erik, stop with this anger. Calm down, Erik. Honey, take a step back. Close your eyes ... Take a deep breath ... Come on, snap! Whenyouthink Thathopeis gone give 630th 's all he has left turnsblueblack Yourtrustis broken There seems to be back here At her feet I did a storm Are you convinced that alone Lookatthestars areinthemidstofdarkness Youwillseethatyour heart shines like the sun notlettheiranger leave us lost theneedto be sure costs us a lot iswhenlovecan build a bridge of light It's what makes wrong in some It's when you know not worth fighting for iswhenloveturns night into day That's when the loneliness go away You must be strong tonight Foronlylovecan makeyou build a bridge of light Take a deep breath allow to achieve But do not forget letlovego again iswhenlovecan build a bridge of light It's what makes wrong in some iswhenyoucan not give up the fight iswhenloveturns night into day That's when the loneliness go away You must be strong tonight, Foronlylovecan makeyou build a bridge of light Onlylovecanmakeyou build a bridge of light Onlylovecanmakeyou build a bridge of light -I asleep? -Yes, I was. So wake up and I say, that is a school or am I dreaming? You're dreaming. -Wonderful! -Is it edible? Do not miss those millions of tiny? I do not have any condition create as many children. -Just as a birthday present ... I picked-up names, Fill Dill, Cill, Guill, Dill, Hill, Trill ... Okay. I've got it. And will one-up Will. -Good for you. We could get our own school. We are males. -We adopts. -Takes you, I fit. I have much to do. Okay, then can go, go quench your thirst for blood. The many other Krills at sea. Many would appreciate Krills have me as a partner. I'm a hell of a partner. You're the only school I have. You know that, but no intimacy. -Are you hurt? No, I'm fine. -I'm fine. -What is Seymour, gimme a break. No, no, Thank you, brother. My kids are out there. Then, no! Erik and Atticus, to hide. Let's hide here. Rolls, rolls, rolls, where I can fly! Look, My favorite penguins trapped a wall of ice. Let's do a rotation. -Forever. Never seen so many seagulls in one place. Stay together, do not differ. I guess you never leave here. These savages and cowards only hunt the weak. Noah admits, 're dead meat. No, we are emperor penguins. -With pride. We looked into the eyes of the hungry but not surrender. Even surrounded by walls of ice will not be defeated! That's how you talk, Noah! We are courage, we are brave. We are the glorious Empress nation. Erik, stay low. -Mano? -They are good. Gloria, behind you! Get someone its size, coward. Do not worry, Princess. I'll get you first. While chilled before they become hard and rotten. Boadicea. This is my daughter! What smart! The union of nations, This is what solidarity is. Well, now what? Now, they managed a stay of execution. Who are you? -A idiot. Thank you. Bo, you got it. Hello friends, you came. Sure we have come. Told Us. -Where is Ramon? -No longer with us. Is a better place next to the ... Carmen. Carmen, wait! I do not want to dip your feet, my love. I'm not your love. See, what I said Carmen it will leave only one stick. Get out, I'm just Carmen. Ramon, it's unbelievable, everyone came. Least the guy who stayed behind, it was cold. He is not here. You're a great friend. Thank you, friend. Do not look at me, had nothing to do. So, it was love, thank you. He thanked the penguin wrong. Hello, how are you? -I knew. Small-Erik health. Well, all friends present and assembled we will not rest until they are all fat. That's right. The funniest sound I've heard I could not understand a single word isnowspreading throughout the land I still can not understand Isaidandthenpartner what is the name notdareto tellme the same thing yourownmusic I can not understand But has a sound that makes me dance like crazy I bring a lot of fish, my courtesy. Shows how to do it, brother. Who is that guy? Call him the insect, he's fantastic. Let me repeat I told you before ... Idiot. -Guess what? What? It carries more fish than penguin that any existed. In-land. -And he's amazing ... Impressive ... -Sven? What? Is anyone down there very special. If I know Gloria, she will not eat until everyone eat. Can you take this for her? Yes, do not be silly, where is he? No, she. Ali, surrounded by children. -That is your wife? -Yes. Really? -Yes. -Your wife? Yes, take the fish. No, no, no. She deserves the best. -Want to hear a song? Do not. Let's listen to a song. I expect before leaving. Why not plan stay out. Wake me before leaving. Will you shut up. Shut up! I'llneverletyou norwillIdisappointyou A convention of predators? -There, there! -Why was not I invited? -Will. -Guys, guys? -Will not go ... -Get out. -You will not survive. Me misses. Will stop. I think the best part. If I'm invading your space, How about this? No, no, I'm talking about, separated from truth. More ... Why? My life is like now. I can change, be less invisible. See, you'll be great. See you, kid. Will, please do not let me. I'll take you, you, you, and you. Please, someone, anyone, I lost my Will. I beg you, please Will my return. -Mano. -Sven. -I will give to his wife, okay. -Okay, thank you. Right Sven, here I come. Form a single queue and smiled. You must be glorious. And you must be Sven. It is a pleasure for me to know, seriously because I'm thrilled. I brought you the best seafood. It was the Mano-there he is. Hi. He asked me. -It is my language. I'm sorry. If direction is not the feeling satisfied. Can I get more. No Sven, I bet you have others more hungry than me. I understand. See you at dinner? I'm kinda busy. Kinda busy. Even more! She is beautiful. Honey, are you okay? Are you sure he no relation to Ramon? You Ingracia! Should not scoff at someone, just because it's different. Even someone who is having more a lot of work to save us. -You are right. When Sven- teach them all to fly. It will be a rising up. -Erik, not ... -Get out of here. -You will see. Who dropped the fish? Guys, what's happening with the fish? Fish friends what's the problem? The birds eat. Sven, you must fly on the wings of hope and ask them to help brothers emperors. I'd love to know but ... No! I need to stretch their wings, then, bye. Interesting. Do something because they will not stop. Relax, I know exactly how to get attention of our benefactors aliens. Relax, breathe deeply, take a deep breath. -Loving. -I am the mayor of the village! In this place, I say! -This is great. Can you believe that. If you have a Will, has one output. Bill, are you? I know not, Uncle Mano ... are noisy and are destroying our ice. Atticus, are building a way out of here. All they thought never would leave here. Look, our road to freedom. It will not long, boys. I will miss you here. Where we live when everyone leaves? We'll find a new place dear, the world is big. And just being together which is already a home. It is. Let children to hide. Carmen, you see ... even in the mystical should be a couple. No, no, no! -Are you still here. -And you're still here. -They were. What? A little while bad they disappear. Who's missing? -Aliens. What? -All this for nothing. They abandoned us. Folks, the sea is frozen. It is impossible the aliens return. Frozen hard. Frozen hard. If the sea is so far, we will take as food. Than before die hunger, too. -I better go. -We can not let them. -I think they'll leave. -It seems that we ... I must inform you that the Adelie, not help us anymore. And who will bring us fish? Some good questions, has no good answer. Sven can not leave us, not now. I'm sorry, fofuxo. If they also get no longer be alive. I can not stand ... Do not take it anymore. Get away from me. I'll leave. -That crazy guy! Me too. We girls let's jump. Sven, teach them, teaches them to fly. Erik is not so easy. Help them Sven help them. But not all Penguin is equal, Erik. But you're a penguin. I am a little more a penguin. -I ... -They almost succeeded. Courage Sven take all the sky! Come on Sven, teaches. -Teach, brother. -They are penguins. You're a penguin. -I am a bird. -You what? A bird-... What? Flying bird, if I did not try ... Drive, drive ... After just a technique, is not it? Yes, yes. All raise your head, back to back. Feel the wind with its wings. Move the fins and sing. You're gonna get it, gravity! Now go, I'm going. -Fly, Daddy! -Fly! Come on! If you want to have want- if you want will be yours. What a pity! Today is a victory ... -Defeat. Sven-Powerful. You did everything pinguin impossible. -I am not a penguin. What? I am a parrot of the sea. A puffin that is no longer the sea. Do not. -Bravo, Loving brought us a strange bird, and told us it was a penguin. Bravo. Thanks, I deserved. Sorry people, I'm sorry. But when I lost my hometown. I was very lonely and very scared. Then I met you, and you believed in me. Sven ... It was so good have a family. Thank you. And that goes up to heaven. Folks, let's try this. Come on, everybody together. Fuck you! [screams] [groans in pain] You know now? Dad, listen to me. Dad, give me a second, would you? Please! I'm doing it all now because you're not focused. My guys have Angel. There's nothing to worry about there. You got to focus. You have to focus! He cut my face. What the fuck you want me to do? You're standing in front of a mirror, aren't ya? You didn't have to come here, Dad. I can take care of this. I got it under control! I took a goddamn red-eye to be here this morning. I'm exhausted. I hate this fucking city. You can't talk to me that way. I'm not a fucking kid anymore. What the fuck happened to you? Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're a dead man, you know that? It's not the first time I've heard that today. Stupid fucking cop. Do you know who my father is? Where's the little girl? I don't know what you're talking about. For your sake, I hope that's a lie. Look at you, you stupid fucking nigger cop. I'm gonna ask you one more time. Where's the little girl? [cell phone rings] [grunts] Fuck. [cell phone rings] Rook, did you--did you hang up the phone on me? Is that what you did, Rook? I'm afraid Rook can't come to the phone right now. Who is this? Does it matter? Put Rook on the phone. It's too late for that. If that's true I'm talking to a dead man. So they keep telling me. Where's the girl? Ah, yes, sweet little Angel. I believe I have something that you want. You got my attention. The statue. Yeah. Bring the girl to me and you'll get it back. Sounds like a fair trade to me. Where you wanna meet? I need to know the girl is still alive. Her brother isn't. Listen, I'm a businessman. The death of the little girl is trouble I just don't need. I need proof of life. All right, just a minute. Hey. Kid. Say hi to somebody. M ike? Angel. It's me. John. I'm--I'm scared, John. I'm coming to get you. That's good, sweetie. That's good. We good? Yeah. Where and when? [cell phone rings] John? She's alive. I'm ready. (Rachel) You don't have to do this. Call for backup. They'll kill you. John? I'm Armant. Where's the little girl? Well, how do I know you've actually got what I want? Thank you. Okay. Let the little girl go and I'll take you to it. I'm scared. Listen, listen. I want you to go with Rachel, okay? Yes, go with Rachel. It's okay. It's gonna be okay. It's okay. It's okay. Lord grant me the wisdom and the strength to do what must be done. [bell tolling] You gotta be shitting me. It's inside there? This little girl was right all along? Well, c'mon. Let's go to church. Good afternoon, Father. You look a little lost. May I help you? I once was lost, but now I'm found. [low beeping] Ah, what a beautiful sound. [fast beeping] See you later. Well, John, I gave you back the life of that little girl but I'm not sure that I can let you walk out that door because you killed my son. What are you waiting for? Gentlemen, please, this is a house of God. Family. John, it's all about family. I know. And you took mine away from me. [groans] (Porter) Please! Please. [loud groan] You know, I just cannot give shit kickings the way I used to. (Porter) Please, leave. Leave! Well, priest, you're in the wrong place. I'm sorry. Boys. May I read a prayer first, please? Make it fast. (John) Go ahead, Father. Chapter 11, verse 32. "And the Lord God said--" (Armant) Shoot him. Shoot him. Shoot that prick. [gunshots] Stop running, John. Shoot him! [gunshots] Shoot him. Goddammit! Move! [shouts] [gunshots] [groans] Drop it. Drop it! [whispers] Drop the gun. Stop, John. You stop! Stop! I will fucking put a bullet in this motherfucking priest. It'll be "bulletville." Drop it! You wanna shoot that scattergun? Shoot it. You'll kill us both. Fuck it, John. Just shoot this crazy piece of shit. His life for mine. [gun clicks] Seat belts. [cell phone buzzes] Y'ello? John? This is Agent Armstrong of the FBI. I thought you should know we have a line on the people that killed your wife and daughter. ...: SiliconChip :... Sacrifice [2011] illicitdrugworldwide trade of 360 billion dollars a year. Microsoft'sannualsalesof$ 58 billion. Trugassiano family, almost all Tampa Toronto controlling drug traffic. Lastyear,49 millionAmericans,cocaine,andheroin usedtheherb . - 4 Americans killed in the police yesterday evening ... John, this is a chance to put one of my men ... This, in Canada, an international initiative between the U.S. and Mexico. Mexico's northern border Trigassiano'nun to stop the distribution of activity. If we do, then you are finished. drugstotheUnitedStatesmissedamajor partof Coming from Mexico or Canada. - Help geçemeyeceksin stay with your parent, John. - May be a period of between 6 months and 1 year. - Your family will be taken under protection. John? Is this business puts us in any danger? This is a very large part of drugs in objects and religious objects are stored in. Where are you going, Daddy? Sacrifice "Victim" Subtitles, Translation and Synchronous: --- --- EN1S - Good job, John. Very good. - Great job, John. Prosecutor says Those guys can not see the light of day again. No one has zorlamadı you go, John! You knew when the job is a risk! Look, look ... P.çlerin knew how much this is wild. I'm sorry. This is something that came with the business. John, I'll give 3 referral: Back to work, go to therapy, and he sold the house shit. - Yes? - Hey, John. I have TS. Look, uh ... Apparently Chan again began distribution. Muhbirlerimden called me one. Chan, followed up to the stadium. Is something for sure. The man went in and out 6 times. The man is terrible. I better come here soon. Johnny? Are you listening to me? John? J. .. - Let's go. - Did your partner have already returned to work? - Yes. - Is there anything about his family öldürenlerle? Well ... Trugassiano'yu was toppled. You can not hear anymore. Last minute in the game. I found him! Stop there, asshole! Yacht somewhere! Yacht somewhere! - Horse See Chan! At it! - Fuck, man! At See Chan, somewhere to bed now! - Let her go, p.ç guy! - Kill him! - Let her go! - Fuck from there! I inference here, or he dies! Did you hear me? ! Bring me a car! S.ktirip go from here! Jesus Christ, John! - John ... - What are you waiting for? You can not do! God damn it, John! No! Let me go! Let me go! - John! - Get off of me this wicked guy! Damn! Jesus Christ. - Took my gun! - Do you eat out of my mind? ! - Are too! Officially the head eaten. - That's it, John! - I heard he had in his hand the quality of goods. - Are you Searching for? - If you is good. - Let us go to my office. Here you go, chief. - Before you why do not you? - I do not use. - Do you hear that? - Come on, man! What I'm supposed Did the police or something? So will you do? There are other clients. - When you want to see a line. - It will not. Fuck! You can do it! Let me go! - Are you deaf or something? - Let me go! Fuck man! Now you're not very talkative, is not it? Sorry. I thought that part, ladies' room. I hope bölmüyorumdur chat with. - Hey, relax a bit! - Watch! Watch it! Look! The next thing that happened to you! If you come here again, where is your blood. Are you all right, baby? Are you okay? Are you sure? Come on. Come on, get up. - I told you. - Now, gone, come on. Just relax. Here you go. OK? - That is it! - Come on, baby! Come on! Come on! Mike doing a good job. Made dağıtıyorsun. It is not easy anymore. - Now taşıyamayabilirim own our property. - As hundreds of wounded. They love him. Who does not love that? Gangsters, such as handbook o. Thank you, honey. Good night. - Mike, you ettiriyorum promoted. Tomorrow, Rook'a to LA'ye I want you to aid shipments. - Why not? - Too much fun. My daughters house beats. Always use stops. I do not trust him. - Well, Rook is a party man. - So. He carries the goods under the counter. I stand here and had to protect the interests of Arment'in. The problem is that not only protects their interests. Arment'e tried to say but I did not listen to me. What can I do? The man's son. So we need to go to the shipment to go somewhere I want to sağlamanı. And all of them. Mike ... Keep your paperwork clean. Jade, uh ... - There was one thing I want to talk to you. - Tell me. I do not want to do this anymore. - What does that mean? - I want out. - What will you do for me does not work? - I do not know. I work in construction or something perhaps? - Was funny. - Yes, people could not figure out exactly. Now ... So what about your little sister? What about him? Well ... He can not look the same again now. You know what? May look nice, but the right way to go Mike how much money you will earn? Saatliği 15, 20 dollars? Do not forget where you come from, Mike. I'm very easy for your life. But much more zorlaştırabilirim. Become a smart boy. Destroying a beautiful thing. Jump in, little sister, get new clothes. And Mike ... I have you with us and says otherwise. I take good care of his nose. Angel, finished all the homework and dinner seven. A very good girl. See you tomorrow, Mike. Good night. John, you knew that. Quite some time has passed. Therapy How's it going? - Now I'm a new man, Father. - I can see that. - House is sold? - No. Satmalısın House, John. You have to continue life. Which hayatmış this, Father? - God works in mysterious ways. - Now it is doing? I can not understand. Why? Why come here at You're bothered that the candles burning? - Because he would have done. - Anna would have done, because he believed. - Flame, a symbol of his faith believed that. - Yes. Well ... I also drink it. Sometimes I'm thinking, God, I have chosen, or Does God he chose me. Because if he opted me, the error could have done. Hey, Father. It relaxes you a little bit. - Then I will see you on Sunday? - No ... - My mom says I vereceklermiş a medal. I'm very proud of. - I'll be safe, John. I love you, Daddy. - Hey, come back! - Prostitute to get rid of this thief! - Stop, Give me that wallet! - Give the man his wallet! - He worked hard for the money, g.t guy! - You worked hard, right? - Hold on there. Do not fucking move! - Fuck man! Hello? What's going on there? - Want to play? - Listen. As for the last case? Laboratory, was caught in a match. - Mason, have checked the records. You were right about the delivery. - Where do I said that? - Yes, the better. I received a delivery address in person. 1132 Orchard Glen Park Road. - John ... - Flee! Jesus Christ man! We take a look at dirt. What are you doing? Yes, I hazırlıyorsun papers. I love the computer. A real angel of death, believe me. Yes, I'd be more optimistic than we used to. Okay, Pete. All gone, tell him. Okay, I ran away. Last party. - Our records this long. Something did. - OK, Shaolin. - Then you do not have a problem, right? - Yes, no problem. Who is this idiot? - The Car Go down - Fuck! Damn! Let's See! Oyanalıyor know? Ez on the guy! Now! Do it! John? ! - Out of the fingerprint is the output? - No. Nothing. Every place cleaned up. - What computer? Nothing can be recovered? - I do not know. I can not understand. Need to take to the center. Out there can handle. - Hey, I play it. Yan says the woman in the office, 2 staff leaving devoted to one before. Young like, maybe in the 20s. Long brown hair. Here lessor company was here for 6 years. Computer cleaned. There is nothing here. - John? Did you hear what I say? - Yes. TS ... Good job, make the brother. - Hey, you. Should not be in bed. - I could not sleep. - Do Yorulmadın? - No, just can not sleep. OK, so how can you explain a story? How is this? - Up the stairs. - Up the stairs, okay. Once upon a time, once upon ... A long, long time ago ... Very distant land ... But so far ... There is a little angel sleeping there ... I have done for yourself, John. Not for me, not for our daughter. Have you done for yourself. Do not lie to yourself, even for a moment. - Hi, John. - Hey, Rache. Ah ... I made lasagna last night. Many, many more remained in my hand. If you open up, can I bring some of that. Oh, Rache ... Why did I bother? That does not bother to. We both miss him, John. - I gotta go. Talk to you later. - Okay. OK. - Hey, thanks for your looking for. - No problem. I never listened to? Newer attırdım their signature. Will be very famous. This is a great Rook ... Many are not my favorite kind. You will understand what the hell is? Shall I wear something on me. Then they go to Sam to figure out. Tell your father, the latter one. After that, the file will not be another, right? Losing it, Rook. What do you mean? Do not count on this halledebileceğime? Jade told me to do. That's it. Asshole ... The sculptures of pure heroin. Calculates according to the head, the value of $ 20 million. - It's beautiful, is not it? - Seems to be crying. Yes, I know. The flows of goods. Interesting. Sammy OK. Bring the family. - Please. Please. Leave my family. - You stole from us, Sammy. - No, I did not steal. - Chan, caught our malımızla. Chan works for you. Now the whole damn family will die. - I did not do it! - We do not have to do this. Do you know Mike? You're right. You Sammy'yi shoot and I'll leave her family. - Please. - What happened? Tekledin? You fucking prick! Sammy'yi shoot, or I'll kill her child with her husband. - Shoot him. - Will not do it. - Shoot them! - Vurmayacağım them! - The death of his wife he want children? ! - Will not do it, vurmayacağım them. Has no meaning. - Fuck! Shoot them all! - No! Please, do not do it What are you waiting for, Mike? Shoot him! Shoot him! You coward. Good job, Mike. Now, I've been national i.ne. Are you to be lachrymose? ! Okay, guys. Collect them all. Statues take him from here. Come on! Let's go! I endorse this community. Right there on the altar of a building. - I think the larger church take care of There are issues, Father. - Right said. One need not listen to confess. - Hello Ms. Erin. - Good day, Father, Do you want to listen to a confession? - I listened to you last night itirafınızı. - Listened to? - Yes, I listened. - This is great. Would you listen to it again? - Of course. - I was thinking about heaven that different layers. - Yes? Maybe my husband to a lower floor. I have another on the floor, if I can not be together. - I think it is not a sin. - I just think I'll be at a higher floor I thought to treat the sin of arrogance. 3 times "Ave Maria" prayer of the arrow. All this was about the sin of arrogance on behalf of. - Oh, my God! Kırmışlar the Virgin Mary! - Coin box, too. Ruhmuş really desperate. Los Angeles Airport (LAX) - Okay. There are 20 "sculpture from Canada? - Yes. - You're on the religious statues to sell? - What can I say? Faith brings a regular customer. I get there. Right there. - Shaolin Em. Thanks a lot. - Marvin. Here he writes. Good day. Hey Rook, sent down the statues of the truck. Dead ass up man. - What say? One of them, such as incomplete. - What? - That's right intelligence. One of them is missing. - What saçmalıyorsun? - Do you see it? - Yes, I see. - One of heroin heykelimiz missing, Rook. - It is impossible. I checked. It's 10 times. He also sculpted the hell is the other? 7 damn man I've installed sculpture. There were 7 damn statue. I blame it üstlenmeyeceğim you asshole! Where is this damn statue? ! Cause I is not here! You ... Did I say that I? ! Yes, it is telling you! Where is he? ! - I'll kill you, you little jerk! - Sculpture, where is it? ! I know Marvel. I want to Macedonia ... - Yes. Are you calling me a thief? Do you think I play my family? This is my home! Do you understand? ! This is my fucking house! What are you doing? ! Come on! What's going on here? ! He is a damn liar! - Fuck man! Fuck! - Relax! Relax. - Rook Fuck it! - What is happening? One of the missing statues. It's one of the best ones. - What did he say? - I said that I can. - Shut up, what? - You can take one o. - What is missing? - A sculpture. - Someone who is good? I did not, Dad. Dad, he is a damn liar. He was the only person to take him. - Do you really lost a sculpture? - Yes. One sculpture is missing. I do not know where he is. Come here. Listen. He g.tünü weak Take me to Toronto and started the statue. - Who took the statue? - I was not the father. - Rook? Who took the statue? - He had 2 people to take care of the statue. - Ben and Mike. - Mike? - Jade trying to kid. - He should be. Someone else could not. - This is true, and I go on and kill. I will not have to do that. I'll do. - Let me find a statue of a she. - Here's what I want to say. - You got your passport? - Yes, sir. I always forget mine. Rook This is a great issue. This is a very big issue. A very vital situation. I know. I know, Dad. Do not worry. You can make it. You know what? In this world there are 2 types of crime. I used to did not know it, but now I know. In other words, the Wall Street bankers. I always keep the people robbed. Zırvalıklara spend all their money. People are descendants. This is the real crime. They are the real criminals. Bankers. You know what? Toronta'daki venue had bi guy. There was little p.çleri. Now the dead. I killed them. A few friend like that. Around out there, the drugs sold. All the dirt was making them. I was doing the right thing. I was going great. Cleaned the streets. Was wrong. No one did not work. Drugs flowed somehow. The bad one always remained poor. Everything is about money, son. Now I'm happy to be on this side. The money side. So do you. - Okay? I'm doing it for you, you know? - I understand. I understand. - I am very grateful for everything you did for me. - I love you. You are my son. Hallederken this job if you need me call me. I call. But you will not need to. However, take care. To fix this problem. - If you are going across borders and customs control of the If I had transportation, it would be OAN'de. - Oan? - Public Transport. - Tool, the other should have been hired. Can you find it? - Sure. Give me 10 minutes. Let me find now. - Excellent. - Hello? - Tool as a chartered company, consisting of religious statues a church in Los Angeles sent a large transport. - Religious statues? - Yes. 20 statue of the Virgin Mary. But that address is sent to control a church in Los Angeles and I do not have such a church. Tool company steeped in a bad way. Even if this guy 5 cents there. House for sale was removed, his wife, the divorce lawsuit. Çırpınıyormuş for the money this man. - Someone must have paid kickbacks to him. - Never been bribed. - I rented the corporate bullshit. I've never. - We do not have anything at that time. - No, there's something. - What is it? Virgin lost 20. - This is a bad thing? - I think I look açına depends. - Michael, is not it? - Yes, Mike. So Mike, this is really a very nice gesture. - Are you coming to church? Many familiar come. - Sometimes I'm coming. Yes. Yes, thank you again. A great gift. Oh, this ... Ordudaydım before the priest. - What does it mean? - "Self-sacrifice" of the Latin. I have tattoos and 4 had a friend like that. 1 word, it's all a aradaydı. So ... what other elements fell? Freedom, Family, Blood and Courage. I fell to sacrifice? Do you know what it means to altruism? No. One thing to say bless. Me and my friends, in Afghanistan, Special Kuvvetler'deydik. Our mission, to destroy the production of heroin. When the rocket hit 3-dağlardaydık us. I'd survived a single. Of course, after something like that You can not predict who would survive. ... And So I've been a priest? I became a priest, because I can do it thought it would be the hardest thing. Pretty stupid, huh? So ... Looks good. How are you? Are you okay? You know what? I think your brother will be here soon. I'm sure the job was just. - He comes back to you until we ilgilenebilirim. OK? - Okay. - Hey. - What I said to you? - I'm sorry for being late. - No problem. - Thanks. - No problem. - Angel? How are you? Now ... I whisper. - Will be moved. - Yes. Tomorrow is not whisper. - Why? - I thought ... Change can come good. - But, where are we going? - The hotel for a while. - How much? - Just a few days. Then they'll go to their house. A house! - Oh, yeah? - Yes. Exactly. - A house. - A house. Sounds good came? - Yes. - That was good? - "Yes, I want a home." as well. - I want a home. - I want home. - Yes? - Chef says you must continue to go to the therapist. I was waiting for 1 hour. I think o. .. John ...? Hello? Doctor? Doctor? Maybe I should not up. God knows what you did. Doctor ... John? ! John! - What? ! - Are you insane? Is He sold the house, John? Why are you still living there? This will bring them back. That night I must have died, the doctor. Well ... not dead. You see? ... I can not escape anything, doctor. You were right. I certainly am. Yes, ladies! This is a very definite ... We're fine, right? I'm still here. In this absurdity. - Angel, come on. Are we going? - Yes. - Come on, let's go. Come on, Mike. Reply to the phone. - Will not Answer? - Do you have to move this bear herey Hery? - My mother had given me. - Okay. I'm sorry. What do you think? Beautiful, is not it? - What's the problem? - I do not like this place. This is only temporary, okay? Just for a two nights. Remember? Soon, not whisper their home. Who knows, maybe one of those pools. First, a few need to handle the job, okay? Then they whisper very, very far away. - Really? - Yes. - You know what? I am sure that Bella liked here. - No, I did not like. Is that right? Let us ask him then. It's beautiful, Bella? See? Complacent. Hey, Bella. Do you want to jump in bed? Do you want? OK then! Zıplıyoruz bed! See? This place is not bad I said to you! - What is Jade? - Hi, Mike. - Sculpture, where is it? - I told you I wanted to go. So sendeymiş. Wow! You t.şaklıymışsın vulgar. - I want $ 1 million. - How about meeting me? We'll talk. If I make it, die. Statue when you die. So I'll do this as follows: I'll tell you the location of the transmitter. Give me my money. Then he'll tell you where to find the statue. You play a dangerous game, Mike. You can not hide from me. I promise you: The one you will not hurt, burn, Mike. Do not have to do this to me. Bring the money to the donor. Then you get the statue. Okay, Jade? Look ... To save you from making a terrible mistake try, Mike. Just come to the hut, and talk to me. - Prepare for the money. - Mike, give me Bella! Wait a second. - Why are we going? It came to the new. - It's about right. I did not love. - So why do we are going back? - Just in case he. - How did that happen? - Sculpture Mike'ta. I have no doubt. - Do you have any idea where that is? Diamond had left outside his home to watch. This morning I was riding in a taxi with his sister. - Diamond followed them to the hotel. - So, Do you have any idea about the statue where you placed? - Who knows? Can be anywhere! - Jade, tell me, hell no! Bringing me there! Why not? Been a long time. Do not worry. I take care of him. I trust to do. commonwithme if youdid ,wouldbethesmartestmove. Win as much money as you can possibly imagine. whohasbetterconnections? Who, Who knows better given bribe? the king of all the drugs a few seneliğine must be a narcotic, Arment. - Look at me, Mike! Look at me! - Wait! - What happened? - Bella, I forgot. - What have you done? - Spinning, should Bella. - How could you do, Angel? - I'm sorry. - How could you do? ! - I'm sorry. - I went and gone. - Promise? - Yes. - Did not you tell me Angel's future. What is ... - Look, I'm sorry. Please, just ... I just need to do something. Only half an hour, will take. - Why are you beating that? - I can not! I can not take her with me. Can not do that. Not possible. Mike, what's going on? You can tell me. - No, I can not say. - Maybe you can help ... - No, you can not. Trust me. You can not help me. - OK, go. - Thank you. I get back, I swear. Only 30 minutes. Excuse me! Sorry! amazinggrace... How sweet the sound ... biçareyi like me, and saved ... I once was lost ... ButnowIfoundmyself... I once was blind but now ... - Good day, Father. - Good day, Ms. Erin. - Virgin Did you hear the cry before? - Yes, yes, I've heard before. - It's a miracle, Father. - Maybe, Ms. Erin. Maybe. - "Amazing Grace" I continue to say. - - Hello? - Hey, I'm Rachel. Listen ... A boy, his sister left here today. I thought he could talk to him. - John, I smeared some kind of trouble. - The phone number is what? Where is this? ! Where? ! Come on! - Hello? - Are you Mike? - Who asks that? - Nursery lady, Rachel told me to call you. - Söylememeliydi. Vermemeliydi my phone. - Oh, yeah? Well .. Verdi. Have I got infected by some kind of trouble? -Look, it's none of you. - Hey! I am a cop, you hear me? - Man, I do not know who you are. Leave your sister Rachel, told him to look at him. Why? Talk to me, I can not help you, Mike. Please ... We have guys. Interested me. What could we do that? Our father did not. Our mother was dead. Just me and my brother. Do not have anything. We tried to talk to the chaplain. Porter'la Father, but ... They never let me bırakmayacaklardı comfortable. So ... I know too much, man. I had to do it this way. I had to ... So for my sister. Mike, slow down a bit. Listen. Nursery with me after 20 minutes I want to buluşmanı. Did you hear that? I'm going there. OK. I trusted you, Mike. I got through. Take a look at how the response has given me. - There is a way, I'm sure. - This is officially bullshit, Mike. - Sculpture, where, Mike? - $ 1 million. Leave me and my brother. This Agreement. Agreements you will not you, Mike. I'll do it. The best thing you can do, is to save his brother. He is now the location of the statue say, let live. - If you do not, it dies. I can assure you. - Then you do 2 million. Damn where is sculpture, Mike? Get up! I.ne you stand up! I i.ne damn, come on! Come on, Mikey! Stand up! Come on! - Fuck, man! - Let her go! My face! My face! Fuck my face! - I will kill! - Do not! Do not shoot him! No! Rook! Jesus Christ! - What have you done to him? ! - Cut off my face! Some customers called for a riot. Director, heard some gunshots. Parking area, heard a car coming fast. - And receive a license plate? - No. No, not received. The victim, logged in this morning. Cash paid. "Please do not disturb" card hanging on. The point is, John: boy, girl, made a small entry. The little girl nursery. Knows how to do this? I think this is yours. - Do you have any relatives learned about the connection? - There was just Mike. - Children's Services will have to search. - No one does that by tomorrow morning. - So Do not stay overnight with you? - Will try tonight. Hospital graveyard. - Maybe you should get it. - Me? Come on. - Maybe you can come some good. - So what is it that will help? - You're a cop, John. I would be safe. - No one is safe benleyken, Rache. Thank you. - Where is Mike? - There were some things he has to do. - Work like? - Yes, I like business. - You bring me Bella. - Yes, I brought. - Who are you? - My name is John. Brother, I wanted to look after a while. - Do you always sleep with him? - His name is Bella. She is a girl bear. - My brother, say I'm too big for him. - I never would not be very large. Try to sleep a little. - Will you tell me a story? - I do not know any story. Then we make up one. My mother does this. Once upon a time, once upon ... Long long time ago ... Once upon a time, once upon ... Long long time ago ... Very distant land ... But not so far down the land do ... There was a little girl and a teddy bear ... We,John'sbelovedwife,Anna ,andNoelle'yiremember. Beloved little daughter ... timetorecognizethem,rememberwithlove. InGod As long as our faith, our love will last with them. Godcreatedallmen toeternallife. Jesus, the son of God. His death and resurrection, wraps around us broke the chain of sin and death. Life must continue , John. Cezalandırıp keep yourself, but help touches. cannotgo on likethis,John . Youcannot. To the benefit of that touching? - Good morning, John. - Good morning. - Do you have a swing? - Yes. John? Do you have a family? My father does not. My mother in heaven. Sorry to hear that, Angel. - I'm hungry. - Oh, yeah? Come on, what there was in the closet. - Does not look good, John. I spoke with Children's Services. When you want said they could bring. Oh ... OK. Fine. Listen, uh ... Junior hungry. I have to go on the market. Would you keep an eye on him to come when I'm gone? - This is the first time. I never çağırmamıştın home. - So, is it? This is a "yes" I get in that time. - Yes. - I'll see you soon. - Do you have a hang? - The ikilimde there, yes. - A pair of ace. I got my turn. Do you have Valen? - Battle of fish. - Do you have any of 6? - Battle of fish! - Hey, Rache ... - John ... Hey, Angel. What a beautiful name. You know what? I was a little girl, had a baby. He spoke with me. I want to hear everything you said. I bought one out of same. Do You Want? Honey ... He may have appeared to man kind. But it was not. - I would do bad things. - I do not believe. You're only a child. Have to believe me. My brother worked for a very long time. You know. Always been interested in him ... I like that. I love you. - I do not believe. - But it's true. - Where is my brother? - Good question. This, we also want to know. We believe that some kind of trouble. Us, we found him want to help? - Okay. - Fine. - Cookie? Here you go. - Milk. I need to find a statue. In this sculpture. A very special statue. Angel? Have you seen anything like this before? - Yes. - Well done to you. - Where, honey? Where did you see? One church. -Dad. Hissisterdoes notknowb.kbi. - Are you sure? -therearechurchesallovertheworld. - Each almost have to find him. - Look. I guess I'll have to look at care of the little girl. - Jade is right, but I can handle it. - I got it. I'm coming there. - Why? Do not have to do. And you hate Toronto Would. - This is officially a mess, and I will brush. Now we have a plane to catch. - I say kidnapped a girl. - I missed my house. They knew how to be there? . - I can not trust anyone. - You can trust me. - Is this correct? Mike gave your name, Father. I knew how good? - She did not know. - I listened to confession? Even if you listened, you paylaşamazdım, you know. - I have no time to play the game, Father. - Admission of never listen, but there was a burden on seemed. - I never said anything about the people we do business? - No. - What? - What is it? - How long has this statue here? - Children. Mike. When the statue distributed, gave to us. - Causing panic? - We have broken. Someone attacked. The interesting thing about it, crying. At least so he says come here. Think of a miracle. - Hey! What are you doing? ! If you do heroin in the form of a pie, kururken sweat. I made heroin virgin, Father. - You're not going anywhere! - Let me go! - Let me go! - Give it to me! Get away from me! Now! Eddie, what are you doing? ! First, your brother, you are now? ! Neela. Also brought his son. Do you receive the goods arrived, so? The same conversation? - Oh, my protector came to visit again. - Lazarus. I can see, our friend has grown even more. - Are you still in the same house, John? - You too? - Rachel, how? - I say hello. A little girl was abducted. I need to find him. "Sacred Quest" A little girl's life, how beautiful. Time is running out for him. I can feel it, John. But time is running out for all of us. Except you. You're dead, man. "Sticks" have the name of a club. The club's owner, Jade the name of a woman. But the man behind the name "Rook." Jade, Rook'un knows where it is. - Girl, Rook'un hands? - Ask him. The Rook, a young man. Young and very dangerous. Be careful, my friend. - The same as you say: "I'm already dead." - Hey! Bitch where is it? ! (This is work that man.) (What's he doing that here? ) Fuck, man! Kill him! Shut up. - Rook'u Where can I find? - I do not know what you're talking about halttan. Fuck man! Now you know what? -Dad,listentome! Father,giveme asec ,okay? - I do not do, because odaklanmadın. Angel me tryna hands. No worries. I need focusing. Focusing should! - The guy cut my face! What do you want me to do? ! - Go to the mirror ... -noneedtocome here ,Dad. Ican handle. - For you I came with a fucking night flight! -a situationof exhausted! Ihate this fuckingtown ! - Will not talk to me like that. - Shut up! I'm not a kid anymore! What happened to you? ! - You're a dead man, you know not? - I have not heard for the first time today. - Stupid fucking cop. Do you know who my father? - Where the little girl? - I do not know from what you're talking about. - For your own good, I hope this is a lie. - Look at yourself. Stupid fucking nigger police. - I'm going to ask one more time. Where young girls? - Rook? Rook, you just closed your phone in my face? - I'm sorry, but it is not available for Rook. -Whoareyou ? - Something changes? - Give Rook'u phone. - It's too late for now. -That'sright. I'm talkingtoadead man. - Keep saying the same thing not start. Where is the girl? - Small Angel with me. - I think there is anything you want it in my hand. - Getting attention. - Sculpture. - Yes? - Bring the girl back to me. You can have him. - According to me like a good swap. What do you want from me? - Need to know your daughter is still alive. Not his brother. - Listen. I am a businessman. A problem with the death of young girl happens. - I need proof of life. - Okay. Wait a second. - Hey, kiddo. Say hello to someone. - Mike? - Angel? It's me. John. - I'm scared, John. I'm coming to get you. - Everything all right? - Yes. Where and when? - John? - Girls in life. - I'm ready. You do not have to do this. Support call. I'll kill you. - John. I silahsızım. - Where the little girl? I know you've got what I want? Thank you. OK. Leave the little girl. I'll take you to him. - I'm afraid. - Listen. Rachel'la want you to go, okay? - Go Rachel'la. - Everything will be fine. Everything will be fine. God. For me what to do grant the power and wisdom. Must find the head with me. The beginning of the little girl will be asked, since that is where it is? Come on. Let's go to church. - Good evening, Father. - You look a little lost. Can I help you? I once was lost. But now I found myself. What a sweet, sweet sound. See you later. Well, John. I gave it back to the little girl's life. But I'm not sure if he would give the door allowed to travel. Because you killed my son. - What are you waiting for? - Gentlemen. Please. This is the home of God. - Family. John. All of the family. - I know. You stole mine from me. Please! Please! John, I can not go on like this pataklamaya. - Please go. Go! - Reverend, you're wrong place. Children ... - First, read a prayer, please? - Hold your hand quickly. Let's Read, Father. Chapter 11 Verse 33. And God said ... Shoot him! Hit on the cucumber! Shoot him! Damn! Go! At the ground! At the ground! Hold on, John. Stop there! This implement a bullet into the priest's curse! - Vursana come on. Shoot these priests. - Damn you, John! Shoot up the mess now! In his life of mine. U.S.waron drugsfor the comingyear Over $ 50 billion to spend some money. Afghanistan,currently60 %of theheroinenteringtheUnited States welcome. 7% met before the war. Canada is part of the country is entering a remarkable . 49.000 annual salary of a police the U.S. and Canada dollars. Annual salary of $ 7.800 a police officer in Mexico. PabloEscobar(druglord),thepower of At height Peru's government to a private army of more crowded had. Most of the villages as a saint Support were known. After 8 months. SOLD. Seat belts? -Hello? - John? FBI Agent Ben Armstrong. thoughtyoushouldknow. Whokilledhiswifeand daughter We have a list of the people. Subtitles, Translation and Synchronous - EN1S - ♪ Against The Wall 1x01 ♪ Pilot Original Air Date on July 31, 2011 == sync, corrected by elderman == Wait, you didn't tell them? The Bears were playing, okay? It never seemed to be a good time. There was a game last night? It's called Monday Night Football, Mackie. It's been around for, like, 40 years. I'm going to tell them! When? It's already been a week. I know. I will. Sunday dinner. That's another five days. - It will be fine. - No, it won't. Waiting is only gonna make this worse. Trust me, nothing could possibly make this any worse. Very nice. There was a rock, okay, Mackie? Sir, you really don't have to help me. - Abby? - Danny! Oh, my gosh. What's it been, like, three years? I see you're still tripping over things that don't exist. - Oh, there was a rock. - No, there wasn't. - Hi, I'm Mackie. - Danny Mitchell. Danny used to work in the D.A.'s office. You look good. You still on patrol? No, actually, today is the first day of my new job-- I made detective. Congratulations. Which department? Internal Affairs. Wow! Bet your family loved that. Oh, no, she hasn't told them yet. Oh... Okay. Good luck with that. I should get going. - It's really great seeing you. - You too. Maybe we could grab lunch, catch up. Yeah, sure. Sounds great. Here, call me with a time. Call me if you need a lawyer. Thanks. All right. He is so cute. What is the story with you guys? We're just friends. The guy was totally into you. No, he wasn't. - Do you mind if I call him? - No. - Can I help you? - Uh, Lieutenant Papadol. Corner office. ♪ seasons don't fear the reaper ♪ ♪ nor do the wind, the sun, or the rain ♪ ♪ we can be like they are ♪ ♪ come on, baby, don't fear the reaper ♪ ♪ baby, take my hand ♪ ♪ don't fear the reaper ♪ You got your B.A. in Criminal Law, Master's in Criminology. Top of your class at the academy, excellent review by your Captain. And you aced the Detective exam? - How'd I get so lucky? - Sir? Why Internal Affairs? And don't blow smoke up my ass. You were the only department with an opening. I'm flattered. Lina Flores, wanna meet your new partner, Abby Kowalski? Show her the ropes. Don't look so worried, I still have three more months. Sorry-- My husband is a very big man. Little Carlos takes after his papa. You're having a boy. - That's great. - Not really, I wanted a girl. Ladies, less chat, more work, eh? Got you two off-duty officers, possible involvement in an altercation with several bar patrons. Hazy way for a good cop to lose everything. For sure. Is Lieutenant Papadol from Toronto? Yeah. Transferred here a few years back when he married a local. Word of advice-- don't mention the Stanley Cup. Oh, park it there. You looking for their horns and pitchforks? No. Yes. Sorry. We're checking out Roy Taggot and George Lee. You know 'em? No. Good. Heads, you take Taggot, tails, Lee. Officer Taggot, Detective Kowalski. So... What happened last night? - Read my report. - I did. You spelled "verbal" wrong. Complaint stated that you slammed a bar stool over Mr. Penn's head. The guy was a jackass. The guy was a jackass? Seriously? That-- what does that mean? Are you saying that's why you hit him, or are you just commenting on his personality? I'm trying to help you. This isn't your first complaint. You already have a prior for fighting. Do you really want this on your record? Look, Taggot, I get it. I do. You and your partner were having a beer, trying to unwind, and this jackass... Uh, Joe Penn comes over and starts mouthing off. Maybe it was about the Cubs, maybe it was about Chicago's new mayor, I don't know. But this Joe Penn crossed a line somehow, and you felt you needed to step in and deal with it. Or not. If I'm anywhere close, just grunt. Read my report. Lee says he and Taggot had been there about an hour, had a couple of beers, were about to leave when this Joe Penn got into a fight with another patron. He and Taggot stepped in to break it up. How'd you do? Yeah, that's pretty much what Taggot said. Hey, Sis. I'll just be a minute. Donny, Steve. Hey. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be out busting bad guys? The shift doesn't start till 11:00. Yeah, but this isn't your station. Why are you acting weirder than usual? - I'm not. - Yes, you are. - Yeah, you really are. - Way beyond your normal weird. Well, I'm just surprised to see you guys here, that's all. So why are you here? To wish Sean Dunn good luck. We talked about this last night. It's his last day. He's moving to Tampa. Is any of this ringing a bell for you? Right. Yes. Right. Well, you-- you should go do that. I don't want to keep you. - Abby. - Yes? What are you doing here? And why aren't you in uniform? Look, I really didn't want to talk about this here. I was gonna tell you all last night, but then I thought I should probably tell you at Sunday dinner. - Abby, you're rambling. - No, I'm not. Isn't that that bitch from I.A.? Her name is Lina Flores, and she's not a bitch. She's my partner. Well, she might be a bitch. I don't really know yet. I just started. - What are you talking about? - Partner? I made detective and took an opening in Internal Affairs. - You what? - Does dad know about this? No! And please don't say anything. This is so typical of you. What is that supposed to mean? Figure it out. He-- Abby. Those your brothers? Both cops. And you went to I.A.? - Mm-hmm. - Are you crazy? Apparently. I'll take the lead on this. You jump in if you have a question. Joe Penn? Yeah. We need to talk to you about the complaint you filed. I already told you guys everything last night. We're with Internal Affairs. We conduct our own investigation. I'm kinda busy. You wanna retract your statement? Then tell us what happened. I'm drinking a beer, talking to my buds. Out of nowhere, this dickmo flies-- - Which dickmo would that be? - The big ugly one. Taggot? He starts going off on Val. - Who's Val? - The bartender. Taggot was drunk. How do you know? - You could tell. - But how? Were you sitting next to him? Did you buy his drinks, count how many he had? Was he slurring his words, stumbling-- Why would you assume officer Taggot was drunk? 'Cause Val was trying to cut him off. He goes nuts. Shoves her up against the wall. Me and my buds step in to try and help... Next thing I know, I'm in E.R. getting stitches. We're gonna need the names of all your buds. - Hey, Richie. - Batten down the hatches. Brother big-mouth strikes again. Damn it. Did Steve call you? Uh-huh. I told him not to tell anyone. Does dad know? Well, I haven't heard any yelling, so I'd say no. You want to meet for lunch? Yes. Usual? Richie? Richie! Yeah, I'll see you there. All right. - Boyfriend? - Brother. Another brother. How many you got? - Three. - He a patrol cop too? Oh, yeah. Three brothers, all patrol cops. And my dad. You had to know they'd be upset. Well, yeah, that's why I didn't tell 'em. Growing up, I.A. was worse than the bogeyman in my house. Then why take the job? Because I want to be a detective. When I passed the exam, they gave me a choice-- I.A. or back to patrol-- I took I.A. Double chili cheeseburger. You want something? - No. - Mm-hmm. You hate the streets that much? No, it's just not my goal. I did patrol because it was required. Then just wait for another department to open up. For how long? I've already spent five years of my life on patrol. Now I'm required to put in two more years on the job before I can even think about moving up to homicide. Homicide? That's your goal? So that's how it is? I.A.'s just another requirement. The minute your time's up with us, you're history? And I.A. was always your goal? No. But that's completely different. I was pregnant with my first son. I had to get off the street. I understand, but why are you so upset? Because I love this job. I may have joined I.A. because of the great hours, but I stay because I believe in what we do. Unlike you, I'm not just biding my time. I am not biding my time. Okay, I am, kinda, but that doesn't change anything. I still plan on doing the best job I can do while I'm here. How lucky for us. I would never have taken this job if I didn't respect what I.A. does. We investigate our own. When they've done something wrong. But I.A. also defends and clears the innocent when wrongly accused. Nice. You been practicing that? - How'd it sound? - Good. But I'm not the one you need to convince. Joe Penn was a whiner. Wanted morphine for four stitches. I handed him off to an intern. What about Valerie McDougal? Valerie was brought in about 1:00 a.m. She was involved in the same bar fight as Joe Penn-- come on! The bartender-- she was pretty messed up. Two broken ribs and a busted lip. I wrapped the ribs, glued her lip, and gave her some pain meds and told her to take it easy. Is Valerie still here? No. Her boyfriend came and picked her up around 3:00 a.m. boyfriend? Yeah. Some big ugly-looking cop. - How'd you know he was a cop? - Ha. Flashed his badge. How'd you know he was her boyfriend? I saw 'em kissing. - Anything else? - No. - Thanks for your help. - Yeah. Big and ugly. Man, this case is just getting better and better. If Taggot picked her up, she's probably at his place. Doubtful. He's married. I know. Right? Why don't you take the lead on this one? - Really? - Sure. What are you doing? Uh, exercise. I'll meet you up there. We just need to ask you a few questions about last night. I'm a little drugged. Pain killers. Right. Well, this won't take long. How well do you know off-- How well do you know Officer Taggot? - Who? - Officer Taggot. He your boyfriend? No, no. Then why did he pick you up last night from the hospital? That's right, we know about that. He just--he felt bad that I got hurt. Valerie, hey, whoa! Focus... Okay? Mm-hmm. Tell us what happened. Joe was coming on to me, and I told him no. And Officer Taggot told him to get lost. And all hell broke loose. So who started the fight? Joe... I think. Maybe it was Bobby. I don't know. It all happened so fast. Did Officer Taggot hit you or shove you at any time, even by accident? No. No way. It wasn't him. How could you be so sure if it all happened so fast? 'Cause Roy would never, never... Valerie? Okay, Valerie? Valerie. Going down is much faster. - You claustrophobic? - Just a tad. I'm scared of heights. We make a call on Sears Tower, it's all you. You do realize they have an elevator? - They also have stairs. - It's 108 floors. That's not my problem. A Polish, uh, mustard, and a jumbo. There she is. How are you? Good. Ow! Richie! It was cute when you were five. Shut up and help me. Ah! Freed. Hey, ab... Sent-minded. What is he doing here? You know Brody's my partner. He comes with the car. I'll catch you later. Could he be any more disgusting? Ha ha. You don't want to know. Did you tell Steve you knew? Hell, no. This is your mess. I'm just a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate it. Mom knows. Is she mad? You know, more hurt than mad. I told you to tell 'em last night. I couldn't. The Bears were winning. Everybody was really happy. Exactly! Always take advantage of a good mood. Well, you could always quit. Just a thought. I think it's time you take this to a higher power. You got nothing to say? Nope. All good. Father Bardini says he hasn't seen you in months. So much for the seal of confession. That's only inside the box. Good to know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. You had your reasons. I didn't want you in the middle. Oh, honey, when it comes to you kids and your father, I'm always in the middle. How bad is it gonna be? Do you remember the time you and Stevie painted Richie purple? Oh, damn it! You didn't ask his advice. You joined Internal Affairs. And don't swear in the Lord's house. I didn't think I had to ask his permission. How long have you known your father? It was my decision. Do you want him to forgive you or not? For becoming a detective? For living my life? Sorry. What do I do? Bake him a cake. Chocolate. A cake? Seriously? It'll soften the blow. It doesn't matter what I do. He is never going to forgive me. Of course he will. You're his only daughter. He has to. Congratulations, by the way. - Thank you. - How's it going? Good. Good. Okay, talk to your father soon, please, because I need your help on Saturday with the Novack wedding. They want five additional cakes. Cakes. Mom-- mom! Mom. What? You don't even ask anymore, you just assume? What if I have plans? Do you? - That's not the point. - What's the point? That I could have. What time Saturday? 8:00 a.m. I love you. I don't know how to tell him. Honey, ever since you could crawl, you've been out to prove a point-- that you could do whatever your brothers could do, only you could do it better. And you've always been way too smart, except where it comes to your father. You're 30 years old. When are you gonna stop looking for his approval? I thought we were going out. And where do you think you're going? Oh, I thought I'd try my luck in Haematology. I know what you are. So, you know what I'll do if you come any nearer, Goldie. - What, like the rapper? - No, the Blue Peter dog. Oh, right, yeah, cos... Oh, yeah. That's, um... cutting. But, you know, having worked with drunks in AE for two years, it takes a little more than that to scare me. Look, I'm not some naughty little kid. Yeah, draining a defenceless old man of blood is a step beyond naughty. Now... settle! OK, um... just keep telling yourself, "I've got this job." I've turned up. I have got this job. Ah, the banks have crunched. Do not get cocky. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much for the vote of confidence. Mm, and keep saying the interviewer's name. That builds a bond. Like, "Yes, Ken. You're right, Ken. "I totally agree with you... Ken." - See? - Mr Mitchell. - Yeah. - Don't call her Ken. Hmm. Seriously. It was a fly. I was... I was just swatting a fly. Look at the effort he's made. - Hmm? She can't hear me, can she? Ha-ha! - No. Sorry? No... fly. I, um... I saw that, er... Jeff Goldblum film last night. The Fly. It left me completely paranoid! Freaking. Oh, not in a mad way. - Stop talking. - Just, er... I just thought I might have seen a fly... - Stop. ...kind of. I see you have plenty of experience in this role. - That is right. - Say her name. - Mrs... - Um... Oh. Maw? - Um... Moo? - That's right, missus. Loads. - Tell her how much you enjoy the work. - Oh, it... it... This... this job would... You were inspired by Florence Nightingale to bring cleanliness to the wards. - Oh, God, you know? - Don't say God. She might be religious. Shit! - God was better. - It isn't a complicated job. I've done it before, I can do it again. What more is there to say? Oh. I don't think there's... anything more to say. Knocked back from wiping up shite. Er... well, that was an inside job. They'll be forced to advertise for legal reasons, but a cushty number like that? I mean, she'll have a mate lined up. It'll be fine. I'm not quite sure how, exactly, just yet. But there is a perfect solution to this, and... Oi. Trust your guardian angel to find it. They shouldn't let your sort work in a hospital. Our sort? Does the FA Cup here make you wear that uniform while he's doing you doggy style? You're in enough trouble, young man, without getting pervy. Trouble? That's my dad up there. This is no worse than a baby sucking its mother's tit. Beautifully put. So, given your dad's age, I'm guessing your condition isn't a new thing? - Where's your mother? - She's dead. Right, sorry. So, is somebody else looking after you? Just Dad. He's not doing a top job. - Great. - Oh. Nina, no. We are not getting involved. We can't let a teenage vampire - loose on the street. - Er... I'm 46. - There you go, he's 46... Really? Not emotionally, he isn't. Like he said, he's still effectively being breast-fed. Well, if you're offering. Oh, can you not ask my girlfriend to suckle you, please? Look, you're just gonna have to pull a sickie and take him back to the house. - Why? - Look, this is Mitchell's territory. He'll know what to do. This is not our problem. But it's only till his dad recovers and then we can leave them both to it. All right? - Oh! - Right, you're going home with George. - What, to your kennel? - There go my kidneys as my sides split - Up. - Yeah, like you're the boss of me. John Mitchell? Who's asking? You're a worryingly easy man to find. We assumed you'd be keeping a low profile, and then suddenly your name pops up on a job application. Bad move, that. Sloppy. Who are you? Oh. Richard Hargreaves. Oh, right, so all this cloak-and-dagger stuff is to sell me a rug, is it? Sarcasm. How unsurprising. I'm here on behalf of the Old Ones. The, er... the vampire elite. They've entrusted me as their agent. - Get out! - Mm-hm. Is it true how they live? All that hardcore Hammer horror shit, avoiding sunlight, and sleeping in coffins and that? I don't know. I wouldn't be so impertinent as to ask. Well, so, this is what all the fuss was about. You know, I expected some... demon. What do I find? The last Russell Brand in the shop. With me. No, I'm sorry, pal, I'm not going anywhere. Oh. Oh, I think you are. You see, I'm here to discuss the Box Tunnel 20. Come on. Home sweet home. It's a shit-hole. Yes, but it's our shit-hole, so show some manners. I could tell you many stories about cheap BB's like this, George, many stories. And I don't want to hear any of them. - Well, hello. - Oh, I thought I heard the door. Well, did you hear my heart begin to beat a little faster? No, no. No, definitely the door. You sure it wasn't the buttons on my fly pinging off one by one? You know, because of... my lob-on? Oh, you filthy little... - Annie, this is Adam. - Hello. Adam is a vampire. - Isn't that fantastic - Yeah. Adam is going to be staying with us for as short a time as possible. Upstairs. You can find a room to sit and think about the way you've just behaved. - Catch you later, sweet cheeks. - Go. - Don't ask. - OK. Have you any idea of the trouble your little escapade has caused? I mean, have you seen a newspaper in the last four weeks? This is the biggest manhunt for a century, and you're strutting around in broad daylight. What happens when the police catch up with you? When they try to take your picture? All our cover is blown. An entire race, hidden for millennia, exposed by your weakness. Oh, come on. I'd never get arrested. I know what to do. Clearly not. Which is why the Old Ones contacted me. They want you to join them in South America, and they've asked me to organise transit. You'll travel with my next shipment. Keep these papers with you and they'll guarantee your safe passage. The details are all inside under some, er... cash for emergencies. Oh, and while on board, you are not, I repeat not, to touch any of my carpets. Oh, wait, wait a second. I'm not an Old One. I'm 117. You are the most wanted man in the country. Hardly the time to quibble about your age. But once I'm there, there's no coming back, right? No, well, why would you want to, eh? Come back to this? ! Desperation, debauchery, on the fringe of society? A slave to your lust and hunger? You know, there's nothing funnier than a vampire taking the moral high ground. Underneath the driving gloves and the business cards, we're all the same, brother. Oh, let me make this clear. We are not the same. I am not a servant to my condition. I have systems in place that allow me to feed without this carnage. You are weak. You are craven. And your... pathetic tantrums threaten us all. Hmm? This is not me accepting. This room here on the left will be your room. On the right, take note, is the bathroom, if you need to wee-wee or something else. Now, this here is your room. Isn't that fantastic? I think there is a game of Buckaroo downstairs. One of the other guests must have left it behind. - Bucka-fucking-roo? - Yes. It's a fantastic game for two to eight players. Oh, for... forget it. I was just trying to think of things to keep you occupied. I can keep myself occupied. Oh, God, you're a teenage boy. Of course you can. - Hello! - Shit a brick! Don't you knock? Oh, no, I don't have to. Being dead has some perks. Not with me. I don't want ghosts popping up all over the place. It freaks me out. You're a 46-year-old vampire who dresses like a child. Don't call her freaky. Up. Anyway, just, er... came to see how you boys are getting on. Uh. Badly. Ah. Oh! He just... he just kicked me! Annie, tell him off. Oh, that's Mitchell. - I'd better warn him about this. Can... - Yeah, yeah. Just put the Hoover round and maybe just dust a little. Thanks. Mitchell? Is that another ghost? It's bloody Hogwarts, this place. No, Mitchell is a vampire, actually. Vamp... At last, someone normal. I'd better go and... Are you gonna do both beds? - Do both beds. Do... - OK. Just in case, you know, in the night, me and you just want to... in the night, just sort of do that. - You've got to be joking. - It won't be for long. It's just until his dad recovers, and then he'll be out of here. I will make sure of it. We just thought, with you having gone through it... Me going through it is exactly why I can't have him in the house. The kid's still feeding. Staying clean from meat is a day-by-day... No, no, a minute-by-minute thing. How am I gonna manage if he's giving it, "Oh, let's go out on the razz, "find some women, drink them dry"? Oh, I'm sure he'd never... - No, that does sound quite like him. Yeah. And that's why I want him gone. You could be his role model, teach him how to beat it. No, no, no. You've picked the wrong man. I don't think so. Ah, Mitchell, my bro. - Yes. - OK. Brilliant, brilliant. OK, I know we all got off to a bad start but I'm thinking if we all pull together, this could be an interesting, enriching and very brief experience for us all. Yeah, level with me, Mitch. How do you stick it with this sad-arse? I think you need a new wingman. I, sir, am a registered poon hound. Have you ever actually had sex, Adam? You know, proper balls-deep sex? Have you touched a boob? Be honest with me, Adam. Have you ever even touched a boob? Because... Ha-ha-ha! I have. Loads! Ah, someone doth protest too much. You don't come near me. But, Mitch, we're like brothers in arms. I'll have a Scotch. This is near me. This is where I told you not to be. Look, I've never met anyone like me before. Apart from the first time, and that was mostly fighting him off. Badly. Please. No-one's ever taught me how to do this. Adam, here's the thing, right? I don't care. Yeah, like I want to hang out with some whiffy Goth anyway. Excuse me? Just cos you're a vampire doesn't mean you have to smell like the undead. One word, Mitch. Deodorant. Tch! - Oh, good. You two have met. - He's just leaving. You want to watch yourself with this one. She's been giving me the glad eye ever since I arrived. - Loves a bit of fang. - I do not! That is a terrible thing to say. I do not like a bit of fang. Not his fang, or anyone else's. Er... you know, I'm not ruling it out. Just if the right fang came along. But I haven't even thought about it. At all. For ages. Oh. OK, ladies. I'll catch you later. Can we? Do you want to? You see him? You... Anyway, Mitchell, I have in my hand a piece of paper. Phase two of Find Mitchell AJob Campaign. Oh, Annie, Annie, it doesn't matter. I'm considering other options anyway. Mitchell, you're not a quitter. It says so here in the reference that I wrote. Check this out. "John Mitchell is the finest employee I ever had. "He is loyal and dependable and valued by all his co-workers. "I recall he did not give the best interview..." - Whoa! - "...but I put that down to nerves." What, so I make a habit of screwing up interviews? "But how glad am I that I took a chance on him? Very. "Because I was rewarded with a pleasant and reliable worker, "who would be an asset to any company. "Plus, let's face it, he's easy on the eye." I'm just covering all my bases. Yeah. You know what? Maybe I just don't want to be a hospital cleaner any more. No, of course you don't. This is just the beginning, Mitchell. With me in your corner, next year you could be in the canteen. I'm going to type this up. What's up? - Where's Adam? - He's in the kitchen. Oh, God. - All right, sad-arse? - Nina just rang from the hospital. He's taken a turn for the worse. But he's been asking for you. Look, we've done our best but he is... he's just too weak. Do you understand, Adam? Well, look, we'll... we'll give you some time alone with him, OK? Dad? Adam. I'm here, Dad. Why? What's happened? You collapsed. You weren't well. You collapsed. Are you all right? Have you fed? Here. It's OK. I've got these people looking after me. But they... they understand, do they? It's fine. They're nice. Now, you give me a minute and we'll get out of here, hey? No, listen. You have to stay here. I'm just... I'm just so... so tired. You gave me too much, Dad. You made yourself weak. What else could we do? You know, even when they're all grown-up, people say to their kids, "You were always my little boy." You really were. Maybe we... we were blessed that... Please don't go. Please don't leave me. I can't do this on my own. Dad, I'm scared. What's gonna happen? I don't know. Oh, God, Adam. I don't know. Dad? Nina! Nina! - It's OK, it's OK. All right, all right. - What does he need? I'm sorry, Adam. I think he knew it was gonna happen. That's why he came back to Wales. He wanted to die here. - This is it. I'm on my own. - Oh, no, you're not. You and Nina are just dealing with a problem. That's all I am to you. Look, I can't pretend to know how you're feeling, cos personally I haven't been through it. I know. You're just a kid. Yeah, but, whatever you're feeling... you can tell me, I'll listen. Do you want to know what I'm feeling, George? Mm-hm. Hungry. Adam? Do you want to go in and spend some time with your dad, and say goodbye to him? I don't have a good feeling about this. Someone's just died. You're not supposed to. Adam hasn't just lost his dad. He's lost his food supply. He's going to have to feed again soon. Oh, my God. - Where is he? - Out. Oh, no. Peaches) You were a teenage boy once. You know what they do. - Yeah, wank at any opportunity. - Well, that's helpful. Well, no, there's other stuff, but none of it really registers. # Well, there goes a girl and a half #She's got me going up and down #She's got me going up and down... # Dollar! #... Walking on the beaches Looking at the peaches # Well, I got the notion, girl # That you got some suntan lotion in that bottle of yours #Spread it all over my peeling skin, baby # That feels real good #All this skirt lapping up the sun #Lap me up # Why don't you come on and lap me up... # All right? #... Walking on the beaches Looking at the peaches... # All right? #... Well, there goes another one Just lying down on the sand dunes #I'd better go take a swim and see If I can cool down a little bit... # - It's hot in here, isn't it? - Yeah, it's quite hot in here. #... Things on our minds You know what I mean... # Um... hi. I wonder if you could help us, please. We're looking for a... Hey, do you want to head outside, get some fresh air? #... Looking at the peaches... # - All right. - #... Just take a look over there... # - No, I haven't. - Um... #... Is she trying to get out of that clitoris? #Liberation for women That's what I preach #Preacher man... # Are you OK? #... Walking on the beaches looking at the peaches... # Here we are. #... Oh, shit # There goes the charabanc... # Has anyone ever told you, you have beautiful tits? Yeah, loads of people. And skin so pale you can see the veins. Well, my Auntie Kim got skin cancer off the sunbed so I don't use them. And spray-on looks shit, so... - What's your game? - It's OK. Um... he's my brother. There's something really wrong with him. - He really should have mentioned it. - What? Um, he's really, er... passive aggressive. Basically, he's just a knob. I don't care. It's only for an afternoon and I've got a regular fella, anyways. - So... - Classy. Still, plenty more fish in the sea, eh? Come on. You all right? What are you talking fish for? Is there anything we can get you? He needed to feed. So, you're saying we should have let him tear that girl's throat out? No, I'm saying he can't survive like this forever. OK, but we can't turn him out onto the streets. He isn't safe. Mitchell isn't safe with another vampire in the house, not while he's feeding. Annie's right, I'm just about holding it all together, and he brings - chaos here, I'm sorry. - Mitchell, you understand this. - You know what I'm going through. - I do. So, why won't you help me? ! OK, you know what? There... there is another option. It just might be the answer. We recarpet? What? ! No, no, no, no. This guy, he's one of us. A vampire? - How did you get his number? - He found me. He says that he has systems in place. No killing. But he'll make sure the kid's fed. We have to do something. - You'll take Adam to him, then? - Oh, no. Me and him, we do not get on. I'll call him and make the introduction, but after that I don't want any part of it. Oh, just take me to them. Wow. Oh, wow. This... Oh, this is really nice. All right, George! Little bit of help here, please? Mm. Oh. Ooh, OK. Hello. - Hello. You spoke to a friend of ours, Mitchell, about... - This must be Adam. Yeah. Oh, come inside, young man. Wipe your feet. - Right. Richard! Well, well, well, well! So, this is young Adam? Oh, but look at you! Darling, fetch the decanter. Oh. Oh, not for me. I'm driving. This is nice. Oh, Richard, I told you to use the Waterford. Oh, is that not it? Oh, well. Here we are, there you go. Right. Drawn just an hour ago. There you go. - Soon put you straight. - Oh, that's the ticket. - There we go. - Oh. - All better now? - Course he is. He's right as ninepence. - Have you seen the size of that TV? - Full HD, of course. No! I need to put some paper down first. You can sit where you like, young man. - You like that? - Thank you. Of course, it's not as good as fresh from the vein. Hang on. We were told there wouldn't be any killing. We wouldn't have brought him here otherwise. I don't appreciate your tone. Given the company you've been keeping, it's understandable that you think that we're all cold-blooded killers. What's that supposed to mean? We have a much more civilised arrangement. Now, this is like a proper vampire house. - Ooh! - No, no, no, the bulb's gone. We stock up on the old eco-friendlies. Comes with... Watch your head! Here we are, through here. - Ah! Ow, ow, ow! - All right? Oh, I don't know, I don't know. - Aaah! - Ha-ha-ha! There he is! Heh-heh! Whoo! Yeah. How's it hanging? Um... Oh, er... It's... it's not so bad, yeah. - Yourself? - Yeah, can't complain. - You from Penarth, then? - Er, no. Barry. Um... yeah, actually, we came here on the B4267. Oh, yeah, good road, eh? So, what you driving, then? - Um, it's... - George. You're chitchatting with a gimp. Ooh! Ooh! Whoo-ee! Yee, yee, yee, yee, yee! Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! Rah! Number Seven, as his name suggests, is the seventh of our little helpers, and our favouritest yet! He must have had a real name once. I doubt it says Number Seven on his birth certificate. You might have the courtesy to ask him directly. So, tell us. What is your name? I'm Number Seven, how I want to be known. Yeah, he's our big bouncy food supply! Yes, he is! And... and numbers one to six died of what? Sustained blood loss? Essentially, yes. Poor Number Four had, er... Epstein-Barr, but I don't think that's what took him in the end. You buried them in your garden like gerbils. - My God, they were human beings! - Precisely. You see, the depravity of the human heart knows no bounds. Name your blackest desires, and somewhere, out in the sweating mass of humanity, you'll find someone all too happy to gratify them. These men were clearly ill. Men? Number Three was a lady. I know what you're thinking, but you're wrong. I had everything, on paper. Came from a good family. Met my wife. Had a family of my own. It wasn't enough. I felt... ordinary. But with Richard and Emma... well, I'm special. Not that special. There were six others before you. Out of billions. I matter here. - I'm happy. - See? But one day, all this... will kill you. Well, better a short life filled with pleasure than a long one searching forjoy. You see, you may not understand our little arrangement here, but at least accept it works. Oh, take two. We want you to be big and strong. - I'll take three. - Mm, good boy. Get some flesh on those bones. How's everything in here? All right? You off, then? Oh. Er... yes, if you're sure you're all right. - He won't want for anything. - It's Adam's decision. Are you having a laugh? Look around, George. I'm a pig in shit. - Adam. - Sorry. Hm. - Right, I'll show you to the door. - No, no, that's OK, we can find it. Of course, yes. Like tracker dogs. - Um... excuse me? ! - No, come on. Cheers for bringing me here, though. Look after him. We don't need you to tell us that. OK? See you. - Shall I feed the boy now? - Oh, not yet, Seven. We're going to make a night of it. After all, Adam's finally where he belongs. We should welcome him in style. I'll put the plastic sheeting down in the box room, eh? Number Seven, come on. In today's main headline, it's been a month since 19 passengers and one train driver were killed in the Box Tunnel massacre. The victims'families are calling on the Home Secretary to replace Alastair Lynch, the Chief Constable of Avon and Somerset Police, due to what they see as a lack of progress in the investigation. - Jim Warren's here with the sport. Jim? - Thanks very much. Our main story tonight is the much-anticipated clash between the vampire John Mitchell and an as-yet-unnamed werewolf. Of course, regular viewers will know that this has been on the fixture list since the prophecy was given to Mitchell by one of his victims, that he would be killed by a werewolf. But in a surprise move, Mitchell's camp recently cast doubt on the reliability of this prophecy. They've dismissed it as mind games, prompting this response from Team Werewolf. "Mitchell won't be saying that when he gets his head ripped off. "There's a wolf-shaped bullet with his name on it. Mitchell's gonna get got." So, it just looks like this story refuses to stay dead. Turning to rugby, and following the sudden tragic death of scrum half Gethin Watson's girl... - Well, that's sorted, then. - Yeah! I'd file that under "job done". Sure he'll settle right in there. I mean, they do have a massive telly. Oh, ginormous. The whole house, it was furnished to the highest standards. Yeah. It was so clean. It was immaculate. I mean, Richard and Emma themselves were slightly, what, eccentric perhaps? Well, I'd go for "unreconstructed". - Would you? - Yeah. - Would you? - Mm. And, well... kinky. Filthy. Just arseholes. A pair of complete and utter kinked-up... filthy racist arseholes. We've just left a vulnerable young boy with a pair of not only instinctive killers, but heinous pervs. You do realise I'm zipping my coat up and going back there? Yeah, and I'm coming with you. Mitchell? Yeah? Mitchell? Are you packing? Unpacking, still. Oh, boys. Your phone rang. Oh, thank you. It's a withheld number. Which usually means something official. Like a job, say. They've left a message. - It won't be good news. - Oh, you don't know that. - Put it on loudspeaker. - Uh. Go on. Please, please, please. Hello, John. This is Nita Mawulawde. - That's how you say it. - Duh. I'm calling in regard to your interview this morning. I think we both know it didn't go as well as we'd have liked. But I've heard from your previous employer and she speaks of you in glowing terms. So, I've decided to offer you the job. Yes! Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Bang! Yes! I got you the job! I got you the job! Oh, I got a job! Oh! That is brilliant. I'm gonna take you for a walk on the seafront. - Cos, boy, do I know how to celebrate! - Yeah. - We got a job. - Yeah. - Ajob! Yes, yes, yes! Oh! - Get out of here, you. Oh! You're dressed already. What a shame. - I'm not sure about this. - Oh, that was Number Two's. He was a smallish gentleman. That's why he only lasted such a short time. But I think it's a close enough fit. Yeah, well, I usually go for a more relaxed vibe. Oh, but the great and the good are gathering. You've spent too long with lesser species. The trash out on the housing estates. The dole scum, the layabouts. Werewolves. Come with me. - No, I'm actually tired. I'm really... - Oh, hush now. It's time for you to claim your heritage. As a vampire and as a man. Now, who do we have in here? Everybody, this is our boy... Adam. These will be your kind of people now. Melvyn there is a dentist. Simon. And... oh. You're Sue? Hi, Sue. They work in local government. And, er... oh, Tina and Liam run a garden centre. - There, see? Shall we go upstairs? - Please, yeah. Mm-hm. This way. Hello? It sounds like a party. Oh, well, maybe we should come back tomorrow. I mean, throwing him a party's not exactly mistreatment. Yeah, a vampire party. Who knows what that involves? Yeah, which takes me back to, "Maybe we should come back tomorrow." No. This way, my darling boy. Ah, here he is! The man of the hour! Whassup, innit? Tonight, our young boy Adam... shall become... a man! I trust you'll all show him... well, us... your encouragement! And just to celebrate this... very special occasion, I've decided to push the boat out. - Emma, my sweet? - Of course. Number Seven's time... has finally arrived! Number... Seven! Adam, my boy, it is time... to drink him dry. Yes. Adam? Adam? Oh. Baby, when we get home... can you remind me to gouge out my brain with a spoon? - What did you see? - Bodies. - Many, many bodies. - What, alive? - Very. Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! - Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! - Drain him dry, my precious boy. - You'll need all your strength for me. - Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! - Is this really such a good idea? There's only two of us against what sounds like... Drink! Drink! Drink! ...well, shitloads. - Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! - Well, we'll just have to tool up, then. Tool up? Drink! Drink! Drink! - Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! - OK. - Drink! Drink! Drink! - Kill me, young Adam. - Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! - Drink me dry. - Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! - Who wants some of my plant? - I don't believe you people were invited. - We've come to take Adam back. How dare you barge in here, you ill-mannered trash? You mongrels. Bet you didn't even wipe your feet. No, but we'll wipe them on the way out. If I wasn't holding this, I would totally high-five you. Oh, yeah, you come in here with your ridiculous blunt morality and you understand nothing of his world, nothing of his needs. I tell you what. Let's leave it to Adam, eh? So, Adam, what's it to be? A life of comfort and privilege, and all the pleasures that a young man could ever dream of... or hardship, desperation and hunger? I choose them. Er... you may need to be a little bit more specific, Adam. Oh, yeah. I mean you, George and Nina. I choose you, yeah. - Ooh! - Yes. What did you say? Well, I don't want this. I mean, it's completely fucked up. Look. Adam, for goodness' sake, drink the man's blood and have sex with me on the billiard table. - You are embarrassing us. - Look, get off me, you munter. - Adam! - And up yours, you no-neck gaylord. Hm! Don't you dare speak to your father like that. Father? He's not my father. Right. I've had enough of this. Oh. Ah, these are not your people. These animals! Yeah, tell it to someone who gives a shit. - OK, I think we've made our point. - Come on, come on. Oh, take him and his ingratitude. But don't think that's an end to this. You and your bitch will regret this. Mark my words. - Right. - OK. I need a drink. Aargh! Hm. Your name is reynolds and before that it was knealy. And you ain't never been no jones, - So get over it. - You'll never get it, will you, mama? You just don't understand. If it makes me act the way you've been acting all your life, - I hope i never get it! - Whatever, mama! And you know how you're always giving me those bible scriptures And those quotes from famous people? Well, here's a bible scripture for you... "The wealth of the wicked is laid upon the righteous." Well, i am the righteousness of god. - Why didn't you give me that scripture, mama? - Oh. Oh. God, forgive her. Oh, give me the strength. Hold me back, jesus. Hold me back. Hey, it's me... Marcus. Marcus! Come in. regina just left, Which is probably a good thing Considering how she's been acting these days. Yeah, i just saw her flying out of the house for her morning jog. I called after her, but she just kept running. - Oh. - Kind of like she does in life in general. Georgia: well, she probably couldn't hear you Because she's got on her ipod. It's a good thing she got out of here when she did. Things were getting a little heated in here. - What happened? - Well, we had a little tiff About regina and her taste for the good life. Well, that's nothing new. I meant what happened to all the furniture? Oh, i'm not surprised that she didn't tell you. She lost her job About six months ago. - What? - She's broke, Stubborn and won't let me help her. And they repossessed her car too. And today we got a foreclosure notice on the house. Now i've gotta do something, Because i am not going to be homeless Because of her bad decisions. Well, i was coming over to tell her some good news, But i guess she won't be in the mood to appreciate it. Oh, give it to me, because i do need it. But just don't tell me you found a new woman, Because that won't be good news for her or me. No, mom. Close but it's not what you think. What? What are you talking about, marcus? Relax. I'm talking about monica. - Oh. - She's doing really well. Yeah, and she's like a new person next to how She was when she went in. And she's coming home soon. Oh, that's wonderful news. I can't wait to see her. Yeah, and the good news is today is her pre-Release evaluation. So say a prayer that they feel she's ready to come home, Because i miss her. And monica also had some news She wanted to share with all of us, But she wouldn't tell me what it was. Oh, that's wonderful, marcus. Yeah. I wanted to share the news with regina. I was hoping that it would make her feel better about monica and things, But i guess it's not gonna happen today. I know this is not the right time for her. Well, i wouldn't get my hopes up if i were you. She does have a lot of feelings That she has to deal with about monica. And we won't even talk about this new mess. I know it's been hard for regina When it comes to dealing with monica and this situation, But i also know she loves her daughter very much. Okay, we're all gonna get through this, okay, mom? And i gotta go, all right? Mama, what's wrong? You don't look good. Marcus, what really happened between you and regina? - Oh. - I know you let her go to make a point, But couldn't you have held onto her And made your point in another way? Your family has fallen apart, son. I did what i thought was best at the time. Regina knows how i feel about her. But our marriage wasn't important enough For her to make the compromises she had to for the family. It was all about her career and not about us. She wanted more, so i let her go and find it. How long and how hard can you hold onto someone Who is selfish and wants to be free? She's a grown woman, mom. I can't hold onto her against her will. I understand, marcus. But whatever you do, don't let her divorce you. Try and hold onto her for all of our sakes. The ball is in her court and she knows it. She's always known that i'd take her back. She just has to say the word and i'll act as if none of this ever happened. I hate seeing her this way, but i can't make her want me Or want a life with me. I love her with all my heart, But i can't stand in her way if she wants to be free. Okay? But really, i gotta go, mom. Bye, marcus. Oh lord... Thank you for my granddaughter. Oh please, Let her make a fresh start And let it stick this time. This whole family needs a fresh start. And send my silly daughter home to her husband. Lord, if i'd have had one like him, I wouldn't have had to raise my girls alone. Well, monica, it's time for your evaluation. You know jack, of course, and this is mr. Charles. And we're just gonna evaluate you today. I know this can be scary, but please just try to relax. We all want you to be able to leave the center. We do. We just want to be sure you can do that without coming back here. Our main concern is where you'll be staying If your mother won't let you back into her house. Well, my dad said that i could stay at his house. He said i'm... I'm welcome there. Well, that's great. That's wonderful. But he travels a lot, so who's gonna be there to monitor you, Make sure you don't get back with the same people and end up here again? Yeah, that just doesn't seem too stable to me. I would like to hear of a better plan, for your protection. We're just not sure that you're ready For that much freedom yet. I'll be fine. I'll watch myself. Just give me a chance to prove myself. I'm different now. Really. I'm ready. I can do this. Okay. That's the kind of confidence We've been waiting to hear. Yes. Okay. We will. We'll give you a chance. We're gonna start out with two weeks And then we'll check in on you. And if that goes well, then we'll give you two months. And then if that goes well, - You'll be free. - Yeah, two weeks. Yeah. Okay. So you can leave here tomorrow. - Tomorrow? - Yes. Listen, i really believe in you. - Congratulations. - Thank you. So go out there and make us all proud. Make yourself proud. - Thank you so much. - You're welcome. Good luck, monica. - Mr. Charles. - Charles: goodbye. We've got to do something about your... - Your issue. - Your narcolepsy. What? - You're going running again? - yeah. That seems like that's all you do, regina. You need to be out looking for a job. Stop trying to run away from your problems. What? ! Come on, mom. What are you talking about? - Oh. - Excuse me. Well, if you can't hear me, Maybe i need to write it down So you can read it. you need a job, regina. Tell me something i don't know! Don't you ever raise your voice And use that tone to me again. i am your mother And i will be until the day i die, And you will not disrespect me. Yes, ma'am. I'm gonna go run now, ma'am. Do i have your permission? Go on, regina. Lord, i ain't slapped nobody in 20 years. God, you may have to give me the strength To slap the devil out of my daughter If she ever talks to me like that again. Oh, let me read my word. Let me find that scripture about "thou shalt not kill." That should work right about now. Jesus. Baby. Daddy! - You look wonderful! - Thank you. How's mom? Not good. See, a lot has been going on since you've been away And none of it's making your mother a happier person. What, dad? Really, is she okay? Yeah, she's okay, But nothing around her is. She's been out of work for six months now - And even worse... - Wait. What, daddy? I wasn't even gone for that long. How much could happen in six months? A lot. You mother never really had savings. She's been living at her means. And she lost her car and all of the furniture. The house is completely empty. - What, daddy? - Yeah. I know how much that stuff meant to her. How is she doing? Come on, monica. You know your mother. I mean not good at all. I don't even know what to say to her. I've been helping her with the house while taking care of my bills, But there's only so much i can do. I mean she was making more than me. i really hate to see her like this. Know what, dad? I forgot... I need to go make a phone call. Can you watch my bag? - Baby, just use my phone. - There's probably no service. Sure enough, she's right. Hmm. Hoo. How was your run, regina? It was good, mother. Well, any other time it'd be "mama." You still mad, but that's okay. - You'll get over it. - Mama, i really don't wanna go through this again. You know, your nagging is getting real old. Now before you go storming off to your room like usual, Do you mind getting the door this time? It's your shift. I've already done mine. oh god. I don't know why you're making me come over here and do this. She doesn't want to see me anymore And i don't want to see her either. Look, i'm not gonna keep arguing with you about this. Michelle, you need to fix it. - You don't need to keep... - You need her. Don't need to keep what? Hi, regina. So what do i owe to this displeasure? You know what? I told you this wasn't a good idea. See? I'm sorry to bother you, regina, May we please come in for a second? We will not stay long. I promise. Well, my day couldn't get any worse. Come on in. Get going. so i brought michelle here Because i think we all have some things we need to clear up. Michelle told me what happened and... And i'm sure she gave you Her twisted version of things. Look, regina, i am tired of you disrespecting me. First i'm stupid, now i'm twisted? - You know what? Let's go. - First, regina... Shh-Tch! First, regina, I want to apologize for any misunderstandings I may have caused. I really didn't come off professional Or right the first time we met and i'm very sorry. Michelle and i have had a long conversation about this And we've got things straight between us. We are a couple And now i think it's time that you two get things straight. Michelle is here to offer you your job back. Yes, regina, you can have your job back if you want it. - I mean, you two have worked so hard... - Regina: no no no no no. Let's get this straight... I have worked very hard. Oh, regina, right now the power Of life and death is in that tongue of yours. Now don't choose death again. Choose life, dummy. I got this, mama. Could we have just a minute? - We'll be right back. - Certainly. Regina, we're in a recession And your bank account is depleted to the point that it's inside out. Now if you won't listen to a bible verse, Will you please at least listen to a famous movie one? "Stupid is as stupid does," And right now you're behaving very stupid. Now get over there and get your job back And save this house. - Michelle. - Michelle: yes? Can i think about this? Sounds like a great idea to me. Spencer, let's go. I've done my part. As much as she hates to admit it, The magazine really needs you, regina. - oh. - Oh come on, spencer, please. I am not gonna keep apologizing - To someone who wants to keep an attitude with me. - Okay. - Let's go sit down. - Thank you. Oh, i'm sorry. There's nothing to sit on. - Georgia: yes. - Please consider it. - Good night. - Good night. Oh god, what a mess. Now what are you gonna do, gina? I'm gonna think about it, mama. That's what i'm gonna do. She's not thinking about getting me back. She's just trying to impress spencer. She doesn't want me working with her. Oh, what do you care about whether she cares or not? She's offering your job back And you haven't worked in six months. We're in trouble here. Where are you going? I gotta go take a walk. I gotta go clear my head. Oh. Oh god. Well, with all this Running and walking, At least she'll be in good shape. Girl: mommy, mommy, push me higher. Mommy, mommy, push me higher. Mommy, mommy, push me higher! mommy, mommy, push me higher. Mommy, mommy, push me higher. Georgia: oh, who is it now? - I'm coming. - Hey, mom, it's marcus. Oh marcus! - Oh. Oh. - And me, grandma. - Monica! - hi. Oh, is it really you? - Yes. - Oh, you look wonderful. Yes, grandma, it's me, The new and improved monica. Oh oh, i always knew there was a beautiful young lady In there just trying to get out. And you just look marvelous. - Are you home for good now? - No, grandma. I'm only home for a few days as a trial. My counselors... They thought i was sort of ready, So this is a test run to see if i can handle things And not slip back into my old habits again. Well, speaking of handling things, I don't know how your mother's gonna handle Seeing you after the way you two parted. Oh, she's been going through a very rough time lately. But seeing you like this is gonna make her happy. - I know it is. - I don't know, grandma. We haven't spoken in months And you know she wasn't really that happy with me The last time we saw each other. Well, like you said, that was months ago. We'll just have to see how she handles things today. Oh, she... Seeing you is gonna make her happy. I just know it. mom, let me in. I left my keys. Oh, y'all go and hide in the hall closet. I'll see how she's feeling before you come in. mom, let me in. - Where's your key? - I don't know. I forgot 'em. - Oh. - Hey, mom, So, ma, is that marcus's car out there? Well, there's a lot of cars that look like marcus's car. So that's... I-I... I thought... You know, i thought it might be him. Oh. Well, what happened? Did you come to any conclusions about anything while you were out? Mmm. I'm okay, ma. I'm really okay. - You sure? Talk to me. - I... I just feel like... Remember saul on the road to damascus. Of course. I used to read you that story. Do you remember when god struck him and he went blind? - Yes. Yes. - He went blind for three days And then when he came back, You remember how he saw the error of his ways? Mm-Hmm, yes. Well, i was running today... - Mm-Hmm. - ...and i was trying to clear my head. I was trying to hear from god, mama... - Oh. - ...and i just started looking at people going by. I saw this mother. She was playing with her kids. She was pushing her child on the swing. And, mama, that... The mother looked like She was having so much fun with that little girl. And then i saw the father, and he was flying a kite with his son. They were having fun. And there was a couple... A couple about my age... And they were On a blanket in the middle of the park, Just laughing, enjoying each other. And i thought about the fact That i have never been on a blanket... - Oh. - ...with marcus. - Oh. - I think i just passed so many opportunities, ma. I... I haven't been a good mother. - I haven't been a good wife. - Oh. Oh. I want those chances back, And i think it's too late. I never sat on a blanket and had a picnic. Oh, regina. I never had fun with my child. I never... I never pushed monica on a swing. - Oh. - Mom, i wanna change my life. - Oh. - I'm so sorry, mama. It's all right, baby. It's all right. You know, we gotta ask god's will In your life, and he'll change things. I think he talked to me today. I'm sure he did. Oh, regina. Oh, baby. - Oh, look at me. - ma. Now you know, like saul, You can pick yourself up, Dust yourself off and go on forward. You know? And listen, I owe you an apology. I don't ever want you to think That i'm not proud of you, Because i am. You're a very ambitious woman And a very strong woman. You're my daughter and i love you dearly. i want my daughter back, ma. I owe her so many apologies. - Oh baby. - I don't know what to say. I think i have missed every opportunity. I... I'll never have a chance to be a good mother. - Oh yes, you will. - And i lost the man that i love. Oh regina, it's not over. And i'm gonna apologize to you, mama. - For what, baby? - I have not been a good person, mama. I put everything in my life before you, Before my daughter, before the man that i love... My husband. Yes, well, we can just put god's will back in our lives. I've lost everything, mama... Everything. But like saul, you can get it back. Mom, i just... I think it's too late. - No. No, it's never too late. - Yes, i don't think... - Yes, it is. - You'll see, regina. It's never too late. - I'm right here, mama. - Oh my god! - See? See? - Oh my baby! - Oh my baby. - I'm so sorry, mama. Oh marcus, look at our baby. Look at you. Oh, sweetheart, will you ever forgive me? - Please? - No, mama, you were forgiven The minute i walked in the house. It's me who you need to forgive For doing all those things to you. And then after that we can go swing and go to the park. - Oh baby. - I missed you so much. I missed you too, my darling. I've missed you too. We're gonna do that. We're gonna swing. We're going to be a family again. Always. Marcus, Will you take me back? well, i don't know. - That's all right. - I need to think about it a little bit. - Oh. Oh. - Regina: see, i told you. I thought about it. Yes. Oh marcus. Oh! Oh. Mom. Oh, y'all go on. I got this. This house is busier than grand central station. - Who is it now? - Man: papa joe's furniture emporium. Well, what you want? We don't have anything else for you to take. Mama, you let them come in here and take whatever they want, Because everything i need i already have right here. - Come and take it all. - No, ma'am, i'm not here to take anything. I'm here to bring something back. Just sign right here and i'll bring it in. I don't have any money. I didn't order anything. You of all people should know that. Ma'am, it's already been taken care of. Just sign and i'll bring the stuff in. It's got my name and address on it, baby. Well, bring it on. All right, fellas, move it in. Come on. - What? - What is this? Oh, it's your furniture. Oh my goodness. How did this happen? - Who did... Mama, thank you. - Oh, i didn't do it, But i'll take the hug. I need one about now. Mama, this is all our furn... Marcus, you did this. Baby, thank you. Sorry, babe, i wish i could take the credit, But i didn't have anything to do with it. Well, then who did this? How did this happen? It was me, mama. - Monica? - You? Wait a minute. Monica, how did you do this? Well, when we were on our way home from rehab, Dad had told me what had happened, So i just wanted to make up For all the bad things i've done, So i called papa joe's And i made arrangements with my debit card to have your stuff back. Regina: oh my god. Regina: wait wait, but... But how did... How did you do it? I don't understand. Well, mom, dad, I've been painting again since i've been in rehab. And the director saw my stuff And he thought i should have an art show And i did and i sold all my artwork And i made enough money to get mom's stuff back. - What? - Yeah. Oh, baby, i'm so proud of you. I am so proud of you, monica. I've missed you so much. I've missed all those things about you That make you so special. And i'm gonna be a good mother to you... I promise you that... If you'll just let me. I told you i was gonna make you proud of me one day. and you have. - I hope i did. - Oh yes, you have. - I have. Oh my baby. Oh, thank you. Thank you. thanks, god. Push me, mama. Push me! Oh, you are too big and too old for that. - Whee! - But you know what? I owe you one. Mom... Okay, mom. Never mind, mama. Stop. Never too late, girlfriend. Okay, i didn't mean it, mama. ♪ She'll be... ♪ ♪ comin' around that Mountain ♪ ♪ she'll be comin' around that Mountain ♪ ♪ talkin' 'bout mountains, y'all ♪ ♪ she'll be comin' so hard ♪ ♪ around that Mountain ♪ ♪ when she... ♪ What do you think she does? Comes. - Ooh. - [Chuckles] Thank you. Thank you so fucking much. I put my name in for seven songs, so I'll be back up here again. - Uh, yes. - Wow. - Instant classic. - Wow. - That was really scary. - Yeah, yeah. I was very scared there for a minute. Honestly, you're like a crazy person. Okay, I'm not crazy. It's just been a crazy week, Anders. Okay? Okay. Brent Hoffman died. Who's Brent Hoffman? He was my favorite cat. You... you had to put him down, huh? Uh, no, no. He was eaten by two of my other cats. Really hard to watch. Hey, I really appreciate you guys coming to one of my sing-alongs finally. - Yeah. - It's fun. And as a "thank you," I've got some extra tickets to the Rihanna concert this weekend. Do you guys wanna go? - Yeah. - That sounds fun. Who is that, though? Yeah, I'm excited, though. What do you mean, "who is that"? she's light-skinned, with the butt. Condom in the eye, Waterfalls. She's a classic. She's a cla... She's still around. He has no idea. He knows. No, that's okay if you don't know who Rihanna is, Adam. No, I know... I want to go to the concert. - I know who she is. - It'll be fun. I haven't seen a concert in forever. Last concert I went to was that Green Day cover band, the Basket Cases. - Pretty talented. - That was cool. We got high. I'm gonna go get some more Molsons. - You guys want one? - Yes! I would love a Molsons. - More Molsons. - Favorite beer. I'm gonna go sing some Rihanna right now. That's how much I... I love her and know who she is. - Right. - Excited. Do... what do you think? Poker Face. That's a hit of her's. One word or two words? - I don't know. - Okay, well, you don't know. Obviously you're not fans. You're heating on me 'cause I'm supposedly not a fan. Not happening, chicken banger. Okay, I'm just going for the book, so. Yeah, around here, after 7:30, it's Alice in Chains or nothin'. Oh, now, now. What's your name, bud? Hey, I'm Blake. I'm a hard rocker too, so I get it. And I'm married, butt pirate. Hey. Hang on, buddy. We're all friends, here. No need for the name calling. - Fuck off, Eddie Bauer! - You know what? - Whoa. - I've got this. You can't talk to my friends that way. - Is that a fact? - Yeah. I bet I can pour this beer on your head... Like that. Oh! Hey, come on, that's a... That's a perfectly good Molson. Hey, shit-head! Try that again, and this is gonna happen to your dick. Yeah, that's right. That's your ding-dong in two pieces! Oh, I want you to hit me so bad right now! Just fucking hit me! - Get out of here, you pussy! - Yes, ma'am. Here. Yes, "yes, ma'am." Now, get out of here... pussy. Here you go. You want to sing something, Adam? - [Sobs] No. - No. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. - It's okay. - Adam, come on. - I feel stupid. No, we're gonna ge- we'll dry you off. - I know, he's very dumb. - I feel stupid! Let's go to the bathroom. Come on. I would have DDT'd that dude, but I pulled my back this morning... farting. I farted really hard. I don't know about fighting anymore, you know? If you hit somebody, and you kill them by accident, you're flying con air. You couldn't have fought that dude. You're guarding all the Molsons. I had to guard the Molsons. If Jillian wouldn't have been such a fight hog, we would have scared that dude something no-nonsense. He was intimidated. - What was that? - He was intimidated at first. Guys, come on. We got punked. And we got saved by a girl. We might as well cut our nuts off, and turn them in to the dude sheriff, 'cause we don't deserve these badges that we call testicles. We should just give our balls to that guy. - Yeah. - I mean, he's a man. He probably has three balls. He definitely had horrible B.O. I think that's a sign of giant balls. - Rank. - Lucky. Testosterone stinks. I smell like flowers. These hands of mine are so soft. It's like Chinese silk ribbon. It's weird. They've never done anything manly in my whole stupid life. Not one thing. I pet a llama once. That's the manliest thing I've ever done. That was cool, though. We went to that petting zoo. All those cute ducks. They were scary. Guys, this is what I'm talking about. We're going to petting zoos when we should be slitting the throats of those animals. Yeah, we should slit throats of animals. We should be hunting or, like, pulling marlins out of the ocean or, like, doing... What do men do? - We should go camping. - Yes. - At the Brianna concert. - Yes. No, Rihanna is out. We cannot go to... We cannot be seen at a Rihanna concert, guys. No, I've got the perfect thermos. We gotta hunt! We have to go and kill something! Hopefully not an innocent something. I don't like killing innocent animals. We'll pick on the animals that obviously deserve it. First thing's first. Let's go buy some guns. What do you mean that there's a ten-day waiting period? That doesn't seem real. We have the right to bear guns. I know that's a fact. That's one of the commandments. Dude, it's the law. If a man disrespects you in a bar and pours a beer on your head, you have the right to shoot that man. Shut up. God, gimme a gun! Just gimme a gun, man! All right. All right. So, we can't have guns. We just need weapons that can kill things, and money is no object. I've got a credit card, so let's make it happen. - Do you have one of these? - Mm-hmm. It's pretty inten... You should get one. 29.99 APR. Not bad. Plus, I get Dannon points. - Ooh. - I'll be stackin' dairy, homie. Oh, mama! Dude, look at the craftsmanship of this bow. The guy behind the counter, he said that this is the same one they used to light the torch at the Lillehammer Olympics. Ooh, nice. - I think that was Muhammad Ali. - My dad's gonna flip. But I'm not sweating it. 'Cause this crossbow's gonna shoot a bow so hard it's gonna explode a deer's head. Git 'er done. Yeah, git 'er "dune." Thank you for the vest, by the way. I feel like I'm in SWAT. Colin Farrell... "Get at me! Get at me!" L.L. Cool J, "get at me!" And Ders, thank you for charging this to the game. Oh, what? Whale Wars? Just friggin' harpoon guns? I don't know how it works yet, but... - Yeah. That's not how. - Yeah. Wait, so now you're on board to hunt? I thought you weren't really down for it. Yeah. Yeah, but fish aren't animals. They're like the rodents of the sea. Actually, I wouldn't... I wouldn't mind if we just cemented over the ocean. I hate fish. Speaking of oceans, who wants to take a dip? Oh! - Yeah, now we're talking. - Here we go. Get in. Get in. Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid to swoop. I feel like such a man right now. Oh. Guys, you might wanna start small, - because I just put a piece in... - Oh. - And I'm already buzzing. - Whoo! Is that mint, or is that just, like, coffee? I'm buzzing really hard right now. That's good. Oh, my brain hurts a little. I'm tingling. We should s'go right now. S'go! - S'go! - Yeah. Ooh. [Grunting] Yeah, baby! Oh, this song... - Actually sucks pretty bad. - Very loud. Yeah, it's very intense. This is what men listen to. Yeah! This is like Satan's lullaby. It's brutal! It's masculine! Yeah. Who wants margs? - I would love a marg. - I'll take a marg. Man marg. It's not strawberry, I hope you don't mind. It's just traditional. That's cool. That's cool. I'm okay with that. He also said, "rocks," but whatever. You know, men, they... Sometimes they don't get what they want, and they deal with it. - They deal. - 'Cause we're men. Who the heck brought lettuce on this trip? Men don't eat lettuce! - I didn't pack lettuce. - Men don't eat lettuce. But I will put some Lawry's salt on these burgers. Both: Lawry's. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I like that, man. - Yo, Blaze. - Huh? You about ready to take the wheel up here? - Learn the how-tos of driving? - Huh? I mean, you had your learner's permit about seven years, bud. I'll just do that later. Hey, come on. Changing subjects. Who wants some waffles and ice cream? Oh, I know I do. But I'll take my ice cream first, because real men eat dessert first. Dessert first! All: Dessert first! Dessert first! Dessert first! Did you quit work? Why would I quit? You're not going to work? I don't work on Sundays. It's Monday, not Sunday. Do you have two Sundays on your calendar? Yesterday was the last day of your break, Sunday! What's wrong with you? Is it a side effect from your painkillers? Stop taking them. Stop taking them and go to the hospital. Isn't it Sunday? You were complaining about how your break was ending. You were so fixated on that that you didn't even know the day had passed. It's way past seven, you're already late. If it was me, I'd fire any employee who was late on the first day after their break. What are you doing? Hurry and get up! I was going to cook some bean sprouts. I've already made the rice, serve yourself. All right, all right, I'll take care of it. What the hell? Are you trying to kill yourself? Please hurry and cross! Hurry! You can't stop traffic! Hello. - I'm sorry for being late. - Hello. I'm sorry. Are you having some problems in your life? Excuse me? Oh, I don't have any problems in my life, editor. I haven't been getting any sleep, and I overslept. You must've had a good sleep. Yes, that's correct. All right, let's start the meeting. Yes. It fits perfectly, it doesn't need any adjustments. I'll make that decision. All right. Did you gain some weight? No, I didn't. You must've been slacking off on your exercise. Did I gain weight? Why isn't your groom here? He's coming, he'll be here. Did I gain a lot of weight? The dress says you have. Oh no! Oppa! Welcome. Oppa, she said I gained weight. Did I gain weight? Does it look like I did? I don't know, I can't really tell. What do you think? Right. It's nice. Shouldn't you be a bit more excited? Why are you so uninterested? He's just like that, don't worry about it. Here. The groom's suit! Yes, please come this way. Don't make any adjustments, I'll lose it by exercising more. I'll exercise and starve myself, so don't make any adjustments, okay? If you can't breathe, you'll faint during the ceremony. It'll be healed by the wedding, right? Yes, it'll be fine. Wait. I can't stand it. It's old-fashioned. She's my daughter. Oh my! She's beautiful! I guess. Ma'am... She looks like an angel. How could you have come up with such a phrase? Isn't it true? Every time I see him I wonder, "he should've washed, he hasn't again." I know what you mean, he doesn't seem to be neat. He's like the coal maker's daughter who doesn't wash her neck. I like it. Maybe he just looks that way because his neck is a bit long. I know! But it doesn't look like he cleans that long neck! But still, he's really popular. I wonder about that. He's too plain, there's nothing interesting there. An actor needs to have an aura or force about them. For example? So Ji Sup. It's Mr. So again. But why were you late? Right, it's the first time you've been late since I started working here. Did you overdo it last night? - I didn't order this. - You ordered the curry. No, I ordered the pork cutlet. I ordered the pork cutlet, so why are you giving me the curry? - You ordered the curry. - No, no, you got it wrong. You must've switched our orders with another table. You ordered the curry. Yes, you did. I did? Yes, you ordered the curry. I heard it too. What are you talking about? I definitely ordered the pork cutlet. Kim Seon Joo, did I order the curry? I don't think I heard. I clearly heard you order the curry. Me too. Weird... Maybe you were thinking of pork cutlet in your head when you ordered the curry, you may have accidentally said curry instead of pork cutlet. No, I didn't. Team Manager, you can switch with me. It doesn't matter to me. I like curry too. It's fine. I'm sorry. She said she was buying, and she's just leaving. I'll pay. I'll pay. But why is she getting so angry? She's not the type to get so worked up, it's weird. What's there to get angry about? I was mistaken. Tell them to enjoy and that I'm sorry. It's okay, things like that can happen. Enjoy. How can I help you? Excuse me. We can make it for you as well. Turkey sandwich and a coffee. All right. Stay seated! Stay right there. I can take this off, right Doctor Kang? Yes, please. Now you're finally worth looking at. No more mummy wife from now on. Your eyebrows are going to be attached to here soon. Then you'll be a monster. I'm warning you, this is really the end. I feel like death. When you're sleeping next to a mummy, you yourself feel like you're dead. Do you know how scary it is to see a mummy moving around at night? Do you have nothing else to talk about? I'm only saying it because it's us three. Why are you still wearing that? Is there still some bruising? People will find out. Stop it. And the kids? They're here, they wanted to take a look at some things. My husband's almost here as well. The guest has arrived. I'm not late. I'm five minutes early. I just got here as well. Hello. Hello. Take that off. Right, shall I? Why is it so hot? I'll be taking this off. Sure. She's got a sty in her eye. She didn't want you to see it so she got surgery. Oh... This color! Oppa, pretty, right? Right? You heard it too, right? You think I'm deaf? But why did you say you didn't hear? What point is there in me fanning the flames? You could see the team manager's eyelashes trembling. It's possible she could've mistaken herself for a moment, but why did she have to get angry? That's the first time I've seen the team manager act like that. I was so shocked. Yeah, it was a bit unexpected. Oh yeah. I got an email asking me to call. Let me have the phone. All right, I'll send it to you by phone. It's not coming out well. You're so sensitive. That's right, I'm sensitive. Who is it? The person who unexpectedly got angry. Oh no... You heard? You think I'm deaf? We weren't talking behind your back. Yes, you were. Yeah, Oppa? Are you okay? Of course. Did you eat lunch? I just ate some noodles and am getting back to work. You're really okay, right? Has he called you? He hasn't called since the day before yesterday. Or maybe it was the day before that. No, I didn't pick up, what for? The end means the end, it's pathetic. What were you expecting? Just forget about it. Yeah, forget about it and leave me alone. You bother me about it everyday. I'm going to have to change my number, not because of him but because of you. I can't not pick up your calls. Maybe you don't want to cut yourself off from him completely. Right? Fine, I'll change it. Has Young Soo's movie made its premiere? I thought it was supposed to be released around this time. It premiered about a week ago. Really? That bastard was born to throw my money down the drain. What's with the 'bastard'? What of it? You don't call your own child a bastard. Mothers use it to refer to their children. Why are you picking a fight? Even my mother called me a bastard. Is something causing you pain? - Me? - Yeah. Why do you look so glum, as if you've eaten something rotten. And you haven't said one word unless it was in answer to something. He has no reason to gossip with you at a place like this, - why are you being like this? - Why are you being like this? You look uncomfortable. Why are you so uncomfortable? It's like you're somewhere else. What is it? If there's a problem, I'll take care of it here immediately, so just tell me. Is someone making problems for you or can you not pay the bills? Dad! No, there's nothing wrong. Why are you getting on his case? This isn't the first or second time you've seen him. This isn't the first or second time, but it was bothering me. It's so easy to bother you. That's nice. I can't see your eyes, I can't see your third or fourth eye behind that. - All right then. - Good bye. - I'll see you tomorrow. - Don't be late, it's at seven. I won't be late, I won't be late. Good bye. Seat him at another table tomorrow. Ahjussi! We should go too. Right, go, go. You displeased me today. Yes. Mom, stop it. - Bye, Ahjumma. - All right. I'll leave oppa in your care. Don't worry. I'll call you, Oppa. How were you going to act? What's with your attitude? You don't think I was worried as well? What are you doing? I'll take a taxi. Why? Hurry and get in. I'll be more comfortable in a taxi. You should go first. You're trying to avoid me nagging. Yes. Fine, do as you like. Stop it! Hurry! Listen, just listen, all right? All right. Take a deep breath. As deep a breath as you can take. You're so mean. This is why you woke me up? I was right, wasn't I? There's no one here. I was really curious how it would be like under water. You're such a pervert. We... We what? How will we be living in five years? How will it be in ten years? How will our feelings have changed? What kind of person will you remember me as? And when will I be able to let you go? Will I be able to let you go? In five years, you'll probably be a father. In ten years, you'll be a forty year old ahjussi. At that point, today will appear like a faded, yellowed old photograph. Without even knowing it, you'll realize you've already let go. After that, the days will continue to build on top of each other, and you'll be like a fossil from the dinosaur age to me. Too depressing? This is Lee Seo Yeon, I wasn't able to reach the quota. No matter how hard I tried to lengthen it, I just couldn't do anymore. Did you send the manuscript? I'm calling because I've been waiting. I sent it, you didn't receive it? No, I didn't. Where did it go off to? Emails lately have been arriving hours later than usual. I sent it last night around ten or eleven. Anyway, I definitely sent it. It's hard to believe an email you sent last night still hasn't arrived. Anyway, please send it again. All right, I just got home, I'll send it right away. All right, thank you. Yes. I sent it. I sent it, I definitely sent it. I sent it. Welcome! I decided to make curry today. It's going to be amazing. What's wrong? What? Be quiet. Did you lose something you've been working on? I said be quiet! Why are you getting angry? You keep talking to me for no reason. Did you lose it? You can't retrieve it? Moon Kwon. Yes? When I completed the manuscript for the autobiography yesterday, didn't I send it? You must have, you said you were. You sent that, made some fried eggs and we had one each. They didn't get it? It disappeared? Fine, all right. Emails are now not only arriving late but disappearing? No way. I didn't send it. There's no record. Noona, what's wrong with you? Why do you keep forgetting things? Stop taking the painkillers, I think that's the problem. I sent it, please check. Change my phone number. You said you could do it through the homepage, right? Yes, but why? When I tell you to do something just do it. Do you have to know everything? You do that too. All right, all right. I'll shut my mouth and complete my task, I have no complaints! Change your clothes and wash up, I'm hungry. Let's eat some curry. What did you say? I made some curry and rice, didn't you hear? Why did it have to be curry? You like curry. Since when? What's wrong with her? All right. Wait! You can't do it like that. She's a bride, she should look like a bride. Like this. What do you think? It's good, right? Yes, it's fine. - Okay, you can take it. - All right, I'll take the picture. Look here. Three, two- Wait! Hyang Gi, don't stick too close. Why is the bride smiling so much? Hold the flower up, and you come out a bit, so that your face will come out smaller. - Good, right? - Yes. So that your face will be smaller, right. Okay, okay... Okay... - Are the lights fine? - Yes. Can you take the picture slightly lower? Right? I think that'll be better. Ji Hyung, smile! Smile! Hyang Gi, get a bit closer. Smile, smile! Okay! All right, one, two... Wait! Really... Hey, move your breasts up a bit, like this. Mom! Wedding photos are like your honeymoon, you only get it once. Mom, you're not a professional, leave it up to the pros! You're being completely rude! Rudeness is momentary, pictures are forever. It's fine, right Mr. Choi? Yes, are you ready now? The kids are going to get tired, stop it. Ahjumma, please take my mom to a cafe or something. We won't even get one good photo because of mom. What? We're going to be spending the entire night like this. And my feet hurt. You think you'll get anything with no suffering? Endure it! You think I'm doing this because I have an excess of strength? Let's go. Let's go and drink some tea, and get some fresh air. There's no need for us to be here. Are you the only one whose feet hurt? You think I like doing this? Ma'am! I'm sorry, Oppa. Let's start. All right. Bye. Tired, right? This is no joke. Mom wasted two hours. Why was there no shoot afterwards today? It's a really busy studio. There's no reason for me to be dragged around anymore. You said you didn't want an outdoor shoot. Dunk your legs in some warm water and rest up. You should go to a sauna too. Can't you just take some work off? There's not much time left. I'll do what I can. Jo Eun Young, please come in. Lee Seo Yeon, please come in. Yes. Hello, doctor. Yes, take a seat. I'll put it back when I leave. Oh, right. They're going to use it as a villa and a work space. They've been investing money into the land but it hasn't raised in value for years, so his painter wife begged for a villa. He's a painter? The wife is. It's the wife's wish to live in the country and paint, and the husband also wants to put the main focus on her workshop. They're going to be living half the year in Seoul, half in the country. The wife isn't your typical woman. She even brought a wish list. Thank you. All right, first, she wants a big workshop and a deck that leads out of it. The deck needs to be spacious. The kitchen also needs to be big, and the living room should extend to the roof. We'll need to make sure of the dimensions of the building first. I already talked about it. How big do they want it? Including the basement, about 130 pyeong*. (*one pyeong is equal to 3.954 sq yd or 35.586 sq ft) They also want a noraebang and wine bar in the basement. And the amount? They don't care. They visited Chairman Oh's house at Pangyo. They're friends, and it looks like they're rivals. They want it to be better than that house. I said it was our first project and they were shocked. And the conditions of the site? You won't need to worry about that. I uploaded the pictures, go take a look. Itaewon lady wants to redo the kitchen! Again? She picked it out happily enough, and even yesterday she was perfectly happy with it, and while we were finishing up she said it looked like a room salon, and wants it done all over again! No, my memory was actually very good. I've never thought my memory was bad. But at some point, although I can't pinpoint the exact date... Last fall? Or maybe last winter? Anyway, remembering my phone, struggling to find my car keys, completely forgetting to make a phone call, suddenly forgetting the name of an actor while watching TV. And it's gotten worse recently? Yes. And I'm tired. Did you perhaps hit your head in a car accident? No. Do you think you suffer from a lot of stress? Stress... I don't think it's because of stress. What about sleep? How many hours of sleep do you get? Do you sleep soundly? No, not really, I can't get a good night's sleep. And it takes a while for me to fall asleep. What about your appetite? I don't really crave anything, but I do eat. On a scale of one to ten, where would you rank your migraine? At its most painful. I wonder... I'm not really sure, around a six or seven? It's difficult to endure without medicine. And its frequency? How many times does it occur in a week? Three days? Four? Once it starts, it lasts the whole day. When you take your medicine, does the pain subside? Not completely, but yes. What year is it right now? Do I have Alzheimer's? Or am I in the process, and have a mild cognitive impairment? You've done a lot of research. I searched on the internet, I was worried. Yes, well first, please answer these questions and make notes often. What day is it today? Wednesday. Seventy-seven plus twelve is what? Eighty-eight. No, nine, eighty-nine. Please count backwards from that number. Eighty-nine, eighty-seven, eighty-six, eighty-four, eighty-three, eighty-two, eighty-one, eighty. Name as many vegetable as you can. Bean sprouts, cabbage, eggplant, cucumbers, squash, potatoes... Cab...bage... Chives, peppers... chwinamul*. (*Korean leaf vegetable) All right, remember these items and please repeat them. What items are under here? Pen, glasses, watch, coin... Coin... this... It's what people give each other when they first meet. Your name and contact number. Business card. You're right, it's a business card. You're tired, right? Yes... no. [Cabbage] Snowman, bat, tadpole. If I have an engagement and then say, "what engagement?" that's Alzheimer's. But if I say, "oh, right, I had an engagement," then that's just forgetfulness. There are many similarities between mild cognitive impairment and Alzheimer's, so it's difficult to differentiate with just a neuro-psychic test. MRI and PET scan will be the next step, And even then it may be difficult to differentiate between Alzheimer's or a mild cognitive impairment. In that case, we'll have to spend one or two years continually testing. What is this? I think Seo Yeon should be writing her own material. Ghostwriting for someone who doesn't have the qualifications... Seeing her rewriting for others was pitiful. The only thing I can do... there's nothing I can do. Don't mention me, tell her you want to help, tell her to write her own book. Say that you'll take care of her living expenses. So simply put, is it consolation money? That's not what I mean. I told her many times that she should be writing her own book. So why are you giving this now? I could because I was afraid I'd hurt her. It'll be enough for a year. Until she can support herself by writing novels, I'll sponsor her. - Take it back. - Jae Min. I've never told her I'd sponsor her so that she could write her own material. And even if I did, she'd never accept it. You still don't know her at all. You want to forget it with this? You want to make me into some kind of matchmaker? Should I take half and give the other half to her? Fine, the you that I know isn't that kind of person. But this is an insult to the feelings she had for you. She isn't someone you can console with money. Yeah, you're right. I didn't think. I was hoping you'd help. How is she? She's doing well. She's strong. The harder it is, the stronger she acts. I know. How are you? I'm just... being dragged along. Let's get up. Yeah. Sorry. Where's your car? In the parking lot over there, I have to walk a bit. All right, then. - It comes out to 18,400 won. - Here. Out of 20,000 won, 1,600 won is your change. Thank you, good bye. Oh, hi. Noona. I didn't want to make dinner, and we don't have any ramyun either. - You're here? - Yes. I don't think we have any of those red bean donuts you like. Anything is fine with me. Honey, pick a variety of ten, I'll pay for it. Why are you passing over the sausage? Stop butting in! Idiot... I haven't gotten to ten yet. And what if you never get to ten? It's in the order of arrival, pick them in the order they arrived in! Really! Don't even dream of having a husband who you're with all day. They go on about how we're such a beautiful couple, my life sucks. Thanks, Unni. I'll be going. All right. Bye. Bye. You don't need to come out! Why are you coming out? Just because, I wanted to get some fresh air. You said you were going to take a break, when did you get here? At three. Their part-timer is away for three days, so they asked me to fill in. What about the convenience store? The owner said he'd take care of it. All right, I'm going. Did you come from home? No. Then what about the car? You said you needed to take care of someone and took the car. Yeah. Oh, so you didn't want to waste gas, left it at the office and took the bus here? No, Moon Kwon, I came in a taxi. What about the car? I don't know. What's wrong with you? Where's the last place you went to? Hospital. I don't understand you. Who leaves their car and takes a taxi? You shouldn't be taking care of anyone, you're the one who needs to be in the hospital. Is something really growing in your brain? I'll get it, what hospital is it? Brought to you by WITH S2 Written In The Heavens Subbing Squad Main Translator: cnsrain Spot Translators: pureum, fore Timer: starstruck Editor/QC: trodan74 Coordinators: mily2, ay_link Don't you want to write your own book? A writer should write their own material. I can't. Are you an idiot? Do you have no pride? You're like a cheap whore who'll do whatever her man wants, you know that? What about the honeymoon? Did the director say anything? Come on, cooperate with me. That man was mine since I was sixteen. That can't be. Have you been here before? Have you been here? I just passed by it on the way to a company workshop. I'm really a bastard. Ever since that day, I think about having you half the day, every day. I think that's all that's occupying my thoughts. Sometimes I wonder, how can I be less of a bastard and still hold you in my arms? I was always like, "What should I do?" "Can I make a move first?" But I was afraid that I would be embarassed. Aren't you taking too much meds? Why are you taking meds so often? It hurts. Is something bothering you that I don't know about? There's no such thing. -Why does it hurt so often then? - I don't know. Maybe something's growing inside. Don't even say that! It just comes too often. -Could it be really brain tumor? -Stop saying that and go to a hospital. It will stop. Sis, did you go out? I thought you said you weren't going out. You didn't forget your phone again did you? Anyways, Aunt came out to check her bank account, and it broke her heart. Give her a call ok? Welcome! This is driving nuts! Give me a can of beer that's past the expiration date. There's no such thing. It's $1.70. -Get money from Jang Min. -Sis said that she will kill me. If that kills you, I should've been dead 88000 times. It will be $1.70 sir. I don't have money. See? Fine, let me call my sister first. Chan! Come on Chan! Geez. "Sis isn't answering her phone. I left her a voice mail." "I told her that you cried your eye balls out." Hehe look at this kid. "Ok." Send. This is so simple, Honey. Hey what time are you coming home? Yes, mother around 7? Ok, I'll get ready then. Ok, Mom see you. What did you want to eat? Just make whatever you want. Fine! We can just text this, "What time?" "What do you want?" "7," "Kimchi" It's so simple. Why did you cry again? Oh you know, the money I lent to Suh Yeon, her last payment came in yesterday. I checked my bank account on the way home from the sauna. There were 4 zeros after 2. My eyes started dropping tears and my heart was broken. I couldn't stop. My God, can you imagine how hard it must have been for her to pay all that back? You know, just going to work must be hard enough. But imagine her getting all stressed out, staying up all night in front of her computer. And the only Aunt she has isn't well off either. And I just had to take that money back. Why is your cooking getting saltier? -Hello! -Oh hi, did you need anything? I'm sorry. How do I get to Yang Pyung from here? I missed the exit. You came quite far away. Turn left here and go 5km. Yi Jung Pyo is there. And if you turn right and keep going it will be there. Thank you! -Hold on. -Huh? This. Thank you! Thank you! I'm sorry! I won't even make excuses. I'll just die! What happened? I think I'm becoming stupid. I missed the exit. I went all the way to Yong Moon. -How could you go that far? -I know right? How can I go that far? Who are we talking about? Me. -Why didn't you answer the phone? -I didn't bring it, you know. I thought you got into an accident. I was going out to look for a car accident. You called all of the sudden and told me to leave in 10 minutes. I was in a hurry. 3 minute shower. 3 minutes to change. 3 minutes to do hair. -I left at the right time. -I have to be back by office by 4:30. You're an hour and 30 minutes late. We only have an hour and 30 minutes left! I said I'm sorry. You can kill me ok? Just be positive, hmm? Oh geez, we have an hour and half left. It's only 10 minutes short from 100 minutes. It's 10 times 9 minutes. We even had 14 minute dates before. When there was an accident in your office. What do you have in your head? I made an absurd excuse to get out of meeting, so that I can see you here. 10, 20, 30, 40 minutes. You made me think that you were in an accident. A big one. I thought you were unconscious. Are you angry because I'm here all fine? Is that why you're mad? Ok! You can miss exits. How can you go that far? Are you stupid? Fine you can forget your phone. But wasn't there a phone booth? You could have called! I didn't think I would go that far. I didn't even know that I didn't have a phone. Did you know that I was waiting for you? No, I don't. Excuse me! Who are you? I said I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, I want to die ok? Why are you so angry? Is this worth it? Did I do it on purpose? You even missed planes, did you forget? -It's twice now. -Three times! -Were you counting? -I was never late! Because it's always on your schedule. You don't even care about my schedule. Whenever you call and say 10 or 20 minutes, I always had to go even I was on the toilet. Even then there could be traffic, or something could be wrong with the car. You can be late! But I should be able to call you! The performance is driving me nuts! My memory is like a 70-year-old granny's. I always leave my phone in the office once or twice a day. I'm one of the better cases. One of my colleagues has a neck brace for her phone. What? You said that we don't have enough time. Let's use it wisely. Is something wrong? I know you could be angry, but you shouldn't be this mad. What's wrong? Did you order steak? They are cold. -It's ok. -Leave them, I'll order again. I can see stars already. -I said leave them. -You said there's no time. Let's just eat. Sit! There's salad. Bread, plenty to eat. Oh yeah, I should drink wine first. When you called me stupid my stomach got upset. Even stupid people get shocked from that. Did you know that I was stupid now? This isn't the first time you were called "stupid." That "stupid" was different from "stupid" before. Aren't you going to drink? You have to drive? So do I. A glass will be ok within an hour. It shows. Yeah. You seemed bored. -I tried to be seductive. -Other guys can see it. One guy under a bridge. He wasn't interested. -Answer it. -It's ok. -Nothing's wrong. -Answer it. -It's ok. -I said answer it! Answer it and turn it off. It bothers me. I'm going to the bathroom. -Yeah. -Hey I'm at yoga place. It's not at this time usually. Yeah, the trainer came home late last night. Maybe she was drunk her ass off. She loves drinking. You don't have to hang up. She isn't here yet. Are you busy? I guess I'll have to hang up then. I got vaccine for German Measles. They say I don't have the antibodies. Doctor says that we have to use condoms for a month to 3 months at least. It takes about that long for the antibodies to generate. You have to do them. I can't take pills. -Hyang Gi. Can we hang up? -Oh I'm sorry. I love you. Bye! What are you doing? I'm brushing. No! No! It's nasty! No! Ok! Fine! Hold on! Just hold on. Why is it so hard today? It's your period isn't it? Oh yeah, hold on. How did you know? We have the same cycle. Oh yeah. What dress are you going to wear? Who's the designer? I didn't pick one yet. You'll look good in anything. Really? Thank you. What are you thinking? You? I... Umm... Right there. Did the construction in Bang Bae pass? I think I will have to strangle them first. That takes too much energy. Just push them off from somewhere high. What about you? I hate autographs of people who have nothing but money. He says he's busy, and he won't even give me time to interview him. All the data I have is 200 pages of blabber full of spelling mistakes. He makes it so obvious that he's ignorant. And I'm just a con girl making 800 pages from it. It's so annoying. And depressing. You should write your stuff now. I don't think I ever will. I messed it all up from re-writing. I can't even write 3 lines in an hour. I can only write cheap lines. I can't do it. Don't do anything for 3 years. It will come back. Sounds great! What am I going to eat? Tap water and air? I'll feed you. I don't have talent anyways. I'm just going to make a living. How can you win twice without talent? There are plenty of writers who win that contest and have nothing to write. Anyways, I'm a writer too. That's how I get paid more for re-writing. It's ridiculous. Oh yeah, I got a new client yesterday, so I paid aunt back. Ain't I great? So once a week, I can have BBQ with my brother. Or order a large pizza, or have raw fish. He's so happy. I have the dates. Yesterday, Mother and Hyang Gi's mother got the dates somewhere. -When is it? -Last Saturday of next month. At Hyang Gi's pension. Ok. I would be lying if I say congratulations. I won't congratulate you. So today was our break up day. That's too bad. Had I known, I wouldn't have gotten lost. I wasted all that time. I see why you got angry. I knew something was wrong. I practiced this moment way too many times in my bed. I guess practicing helps. You told me that we won't be able to get past this fall. It's ok. It's much better than I thought it would be. It's like, "It's finally come." Something like that? Good for you. You're so ok. I told you that I practiced. Don't smile. I don't want to see you smile. You want me to cry? No, no, I can't do that. You want me to cry my eyeballs out? And maybe faint? Should I die on the spot? Is that what you want? Stop acting like it doesn't hurt at least this moment! -You have never broken down in front of me. -How much more do I have to break down? You had someone you had to marry, I said I don't care. "Let me borrow you for a while until you get married. " I'm always on stand-by except when I sleep. I can't not think about you even for a sec. Right here, half of it. No, all of it is like being held by you. That's only talk. You always stood two steps away. Can love have no obsession? Can love have no desire to possess? You didn't have such a thing. Answer me. No, I don't. What were you doing with me? Were you playing with me? Why are you doing this? What do you want to know? You're being way too cool. You're ok. She's miserable. What happened to her? She has an inoperable tumor at the base of her brain. It's probably been there, according to the doctor, since she was born. I guess as she got older, it grew. We didn't even know it was there until three years ago. She's a tough cookie, you know. She always to shake it off, take aspirin, say it really didn't her hurt that bad. We finally got it to stop growing, but I can tell it still hurts her. And there's not a goddamn thing i can do about it. That's my job: to protect her. And I am completely powerless. You make me feel safe. What? You make me feel safe. I just thought you should know that. -Can I see it? - [SUSAN] Not yet. [SUSAN] All right, you ready? Close your eyes. [LAUGHTER] [SUSAN] OK, you ready? Turn, turn. Stop. - [SUSAN] Ready, OK, open. - [LING] Oh, my room! My room! I love it! Oh, my god. Come here! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm calling Bender! [EVAN] Hey. It's OK, it's OK. She's happy. You made her really happy. Look at her. Who would do that to someone? I don't know. I just don't understand. That's a good thing. That means you're not like them. "Tell me not in mournful numbers, Life is but an empty dream. For the soul is dead that slumbers, And things are not what they seem." Did you write this, dude? [EVAN] Huh? So, she's meeting you here. [EVAN] Yeah. Why? [BENDER] I don't know. Most chicks want you to pick them up. [EVAN] She already knows where I live. Right, but still something peculiar about that. How's this? Dude, you look great! You think? Yeah. Guys should take lessons from you on how to dress like a pimp. Yeah, it's like, this part is like... Do you want me to help you tie that tie? Yeah, that'd be great. All right. This is called the double Windsor knot. Don't fucking ask me how I know how to do this, like, I don't remember. I consider myself a modern-day cad, or dandy. A metrosexual, in the parlence of our times. What was that? Dude, I don't know what I was doing, I just ... I've been really lonely lately and, I mean you remember that one time we made out? I mean, come on, just- Dad? Don't call me "dad." What? Your date's here. - Hi. - Hi. - It's good seeing you again. - You, too. You didn't tell me you have a kid. Huh? Did you tell her you were my kid? I am. What, did you have her when you were five? No! She's just, you know, a minor residing in my home. Hey, I know you. No, you don't. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I don't know where from, but uh... why are you shaking your head? You know I - I don't think we've met before. No, I'm pretty sure we're well-acquainted. You know, I think I would remember you. You're pretty memorable. Are you the babysitter? Me? No, no I totally tried to fuck Ling before I found out she was seventeen. That doesn't sound right, taken out of context. Yeah, that doesn't sound right in any context. -Let's go. -Yeah. Nice meeting you Ling, Bender. Hey, how the fuck you know my name? Let's go! The night is young! And so are we. You are so explaining this to me. Hey, baby. If this bar were a meat market, you'd be the prime rib. Oh, god. You reek of cannabis, Bender. Cannabis? Hey Maxine, you've got something on your chest - my eyes! Go away. It's never going to happen. Hey, are you like a parking ticket or something? Cuz you've got "fine" written all over you. I have a headache. You can stand here but don't talk to me. Look, you look a lot like my next girlfriend, you know what I'm saying? Oh, my god. How long does this go on before you actually quit? I never quit. That's one thing that you're gonna learn about me. I never quit. Never. Fuck it. [BENDER] Fuck what? Fuck it - let's do it. What? Where we going? We're gonna go to your place. We're gonna go- we're gonna go to my place? Mm-hmm. Sweet. - Now. - Oh, now. -You don't talk much. -Neither do you. You've figured it out haven't you? The less you say, the more people will reveal about themselves. Until little by little, they have divulged every last bit of who they are. Because what people want most... Is to be known. So, do you use that knowledge for good or for evil? I use it for myself. Kiss me. Where? Well, put your hands here, like that, and then I go like this. And you pull me in like that, and close your eyes. -You wanna smoke a J? -No, that's not really my thing. You said you had a headache, though. This is perfect for that. Honey, I'm already on so many painkillers; I don't need anything else. See, that's where you're wrong - marijuana is the safe alternative to that. Plus, you inhale it, so it works faster. What the hell? Live dangerously, right? Ugh... it tastes like shit. No, no - it tastes good. Actually I got it from my friend and he got it from a friend from another friend off the coast of Madagascar. I guess it came up on a piece of driftwood. I do feel better. Is that- is that normal? Oh yeah, that's normal. Well, in that case. OK. Nice. That feels good. Are you gonna fuck me now? Yup. -Hi. -Hi. -Can I stay up late watching movies? -Yep. You're not gonna make me go to bed? Do whatever the fuck you want. What's wrong? It's... you know my friend you met here tonight, Bender? Yeah. I can't believe I'm telling you this, but she was here before you got here and she kissed me. She kissed you? Yeah, she was tying my tie and she pulled me in and kissed me. Did you kiss her back? No. [LAUGHING] Of course not. But it was- you know, it was peculiar. Well, girls do funny things sometimes. Yeah. There was this once, a long time ago, actually when we first met, she and I made out. Nothing really came of it... [SIGH] She and I - we don't make sense as a couple. Do we make sense as a couple? -Yes. -Yeah? Water! Please, let me get water. I'm so not done with you yet. What, what? No... No! [AVERY WHISPERS] You OK? What's wrong? [AVERY SCREAMS] [AVERY] What are you doing? Evan, Evan, what are you doing? Stop it! Ling! [AVERY] She's having a seizure. [AVERY] Put something in her mouth. No, never do that to someone who's having a seizure - you'll hurt her. She's going to hurt herself! [LING] She's unconscious. She can't feel anything. [AVERY] I'll call 911! [LING] Don't! Just... stay calm. [MUSIC] one three one this is the dispatcher go ahead This is one three one! We have a male, mid-fifties with burns over nine to nine and a half percent of his body! Prior to our arrival on scene, patient apparently doused his head, neck and face with some sort of highly concentrated acid! Patient's airway is severely compromised due to fume inhalation! Vital signs unstable! Please advise! Patient is a criminal suspect! We're coming in with a police escort right now! hi Can I talk to him? He can't actually talk... alright . Jesus... can I just have a few minutes? We wanna know who you are. We'll find out, you know. Sooner or later. You could save us some legwork by communicating with us now. Are you a Satanist? You in some kind of cult? Coz if there are others involved, we'll find them too, believe me. What's the matter? Is that it? Is there someone you wanna tell me about? I'm sorry. The Nurse at reception downstairs is on the phone. She wants to talk to you. Says it's urgent. I'm coming I'll be right back. yeah His daughter? When was this -- is she still here...? did she leave any information, a phone number...? What do you mean a little girl? How little...? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph... There is sin and evil in the world, and we're enjoined by scripture and the Lord Jesus to oppose it with all our might. Our nation, too, has a legacy of evil with which it must deal. The glory of this land has been its capacity for transcending the moral evils of our past... Eat some now, save some for later... Eat some now, save some for later... Now and Later... the really tasty treat... Now and Later... the flavor can't be beat.. Look at all those pieces Owen...? Flavors that are wow... Dinner time honey...! ....and these Thy gifts, for which we are about to receive, ..please guide and direct us for all our days. And protect us from evil. Amen. How was school today? you didn't go and spoil your dinner on me now, did you? Owen? ...No... I didn't... Eat. Please, honey. Hello? What? Look, I'm not gonna discuss this now? We're eating dinner we had an agreement, John. I think maybe you better call my lawyer okay...? Don't talk to me like that I will not. Be spoken to. In that way! Hey little girl... Are you a little girl...? are you scared? I pledge allegiance... to the flag... of the United States of America... And to the Republic... for which it stands... One Nation... under God... indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Mr. Zoric...? Okay, Kenny! Ten laps! Now! I didn't do anything...! Now! Or I make it twenty! Hey little girl... Ow! Don't...! Are you a little girl...? That's why he won't go swimming he doesn't want everyone to see what a little fucking girl he is Hold him down! Get his arms! Get his arms! stop Dude, shit! I think he pissed himself! Oh...! Shit...! He fucking pissed himself! Jesus! Fucking freak! is that is for you? Are you scared, little girl? Huh? What are you doing? Nothing What are you doing? Nothing. You guys just moved in, huh? Upstairs. How do you know? I live next door to you. Right there. Just so you know, I can't be your friend. ...Why not? That's just the way it is. who said I wanted to be your friend...? ! god! what am I supposed to do? to go out in there and do it myself? Huh? what? answer me maybe I'm getting slow maybe I want to get caught... maybe I'm just tired excuse me can I get through here? As some of you may have heard, there was an incident last night and one of our recent graduates was killed... I want assure you that everything possible is being done to find those responsible for this tragedy, but in the mean time we should all be on the lookout for any suspicious activity... Your safety is our number on concern. it's you again, huh? You know, I really wanna be left alone.. Me too. So leave. You leave. I've lived here longer than you... What is that? ...This? It's a Rubik's Cube. You don't know Rubik's Cube? Is it a puzzle? Yeah... Wanna try? You can give it back tomorrow. ...How do you do it? You gotta make each side all one color. like that ...You smell kinda funny. Aren't you cold? I don't really get cold I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Help me Hello? Please... Help me Hello? Hey there... Are you okay? What happened? I fell... Yeah...? Can't you get up...? No... How old are you, sweetheart? Do you live around here...? I live right here... Can you carry me...? Okay, sweetheart... sure... Why don't you... here... You got it...? you expect me to clean it up now...! don't you? ...fucking bitch! How did you do it? ! I just... twisted it. Do I smell better now? ...What's your name? Abby. What's yours...? I'm Owen. How old are you? Twelve. More or less. What about you? Twelve years, eight months, and nine days what do you mean, "more or less"...? When's your birthday? I don't know. You don't know? Don't you celebrate your birthday? - Don't you get birthday presents? - No. Well... you can... have this. If you want. That's okay. It's yours. I really don't get how you did this Want me to show you? Yeah... I must be gone and live, or stay and die... Yon light is not day-light, I know it It is some meteor that the sun exhales, What were you writing back there...? ...What do you mean? In Cook's class. Let's see it... - ... No - ... No? Where is it...? Where is it...? Show me! - ... Jesus Christ, dude...! - ... What...? You explain that to his mom... That's okay... She's not going to tell her mom on us, is she...? She fell down on the playground, that's all... Right? Right...? Say it, little girl... Say it... come on, dude... Let's go... I fell down... ...On the playground. Well you have to be more careful, Okay honey? I don't like to see my baby hurt... Bless us o Lord and these thy gifts... and protect us from evil look , I made one for you, and one for me Are you reading this? It's for school, it's boring c'mon, look...! It's so cool...! We can talk to each other...! Through the wall...! Can you hear me through the wall? ...Only sometimes.. Did you hear anything the other night...? why was your dad so mad...? Where's your mom...? Are you parents divorced? My mom is dead My mom and dad are getting a divorce. What happened there...? Just some kids. At school. Where do you go to school anyway? I never see you.... ...Owen, listen. ...What...? You have to hit back. You have to hit back hard. I can't ...There are three Then you hit back even harder. Hit them harder than you dare And then they'll stop. ...What if they hit me back? You have a knife. Yeah... But what if that didn't stop them? I'll help you. But.. You're a girl... I'm a lot stronger than you think I am ...I have to get in there...! ...Move Move... - Mr. Zoric...? - Yes, Owen? I was wondering. About the after school strength training? Can people still sign up? ...You like to get strong? Okay. Four o'clock. You come. We make you strong. Cool... you want some? ! They're really good! They're my favorite! - They're really really good! - no thanks What do you like...? You can have anything you want...! That's ok.. Okay...! I guess that's it...! I guess I could have one really! here, try this ...Sorry Owen... Do you like me? Yeah... A lot. Would you still like me... even if I wasn't a girl...? ...What do you mean...? I don't know... I guess Why? No reason... So where are you guys from? How come you moved here...? We... move around a lot. Yeah, but why would you move here? Nobody moves here I hate it here Someday I'm gonna get out... And I'll never come back... People here .... they're just stupid oh god Hang on... What...! You promised me you wouldn't leave the courtyard! mom I been here the whole time...! Well, come up! It's time for dinner...! oh god goodnight.. goodnight.. You going out...? Is there a choice...? Please don't see that boy again... Okay...? Hey! Stop! Hey! - hey What's up? - You know what? - What are you doing? - pushing back the seat The handle is in the front. - I hate this thing here - Turn it that will take me all night - You need gas? - Yes. Fuck! Help! Help! Thanks. - Sup, Jenner! - Hey, guys. what's going on? what? What the fuck? That's my car! Stop! Stop the car! Stop, you bastard! Stop! Stop! Hey! Stop! Help! Help! Help! Let me go! Over there he should be in the car Hey! There! an unidentified man has been arrested in connection with the recent ritual murder of a local high school honor student The suspect is hospitalized in critical condition with severe, self-inflicted acid burns over his face and torso making it impossible so far for authorities to determine his identity... Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States: Ronald Reagan! Excuse me! I'm looking for my father. Is he a patient here...? Yeah... They... brought him in The police did. ...Oh... I see... Do you know where he is...? He's... he's on the tenth floor, sweetie... But it's restricted... - why don't I call them, tell them you're here..? - Oh, no -- that's okay... Oh my God -- you poor girl... Sweetie! Sweetie! ...May I come in...? ...I'm sorry... His daughter? When was this -- is she still here...? Well did she leave any information, a phone number...? What do you mean a little girl? How little...? Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Help! Owen! Owen! Can I come in...? No...wait don't look at me... How'd you get up here...? - I flew. - Yeah, right... Hey... you're not wearing anything...! And you're freezing...! Is that gross...? No. Abby? Yeah...? Will you go steady with me? - What do you mean? - Will you be my girlfriend...? Owen... I am not a girl. - You're not a girl...? - No. What are you...? Nothing. Oh You know, it's okay if you don't wanna be my girlfriend. You don't have to make stuff up... - Can't we just keep things the way they are...? - Yeah.. sure... Well... Do you... have to... do anything special? when you go steady...? No. -So everything's the same? - Yeah... Okay. - We can go steady. - Really? Yes. "I must be gone and live, or stay and die. " ABBY + OWEN If you play hockey, you play this side! Free skate, this side! Everyone careful for holes in ice! Stay! Away! From holes! I hope you been learning how to swim... Coz today you're goin' in... go You must be quick. Faster, faster! What you think you're gonna do with that...? I'm gonna... hit you with it... If you try anything... Really? Wow! You know what I think? I don't think you're gonna do a fucking thing... I think you're just gonna stand there, like the little girl you are... And I'm gonna grab that stick... and ram it right up your ass... And then...? You're goin' swimming. hey hey quickly Dude.... Zoric is over there checking us out let it go... We'll beat his little ass later... Give me the stick... Give me the stick... Holy shit! Are you fucking crazy! ? Hey! Okay. Please, move back. move back Give me one reason I shouldn't suspend you, Owen... Can you think of one? Don't you know what could've happened...? You seem like a smart kid. I just don't want to see you going down the wrong path... He's a good boy... he really is... Hello...? Is John there...? Excuse me...? This is his wife who's this...? hello, Cindy... Could you please tell John that I called? Hi there... Your mom or dad home? Yes. Mom! What? - Sorry to bother you, Ma'am. What's this about...? I'm afraid there's been an incident with one of your neighbors here in the complex... So we're just going around, talking to people... see if anyone knows anything... What kind of incident? Owen, why don't you go to your room...? - Sorry, guys! - you wonder? - what? why do you need glasses? so dangerous? - Hey! Stop! - How's the cripple...! ? Stop! Hey! Jesus Christ, dude... look out...! Man, that kid wailed on your ass Can you still hear me, bro ? ! Stop! - You going home? -No, we're going over to Mark's... Well can I borrow your keys...? I forgot mine... Please...? Give me the fucking keys! Thanks! - See you at home, little girl... - Hey! - Shut up! - But I didn't say anything! Shut up! Abby, I did it! You did what...? They were gonna push me in a hole. In the ice. So I got a big stick and I hit him in the head really hard. He had to go to the hospital I almost got suspended. But I did it. What you said. I stood up to them. Owen Yeah? - Hey... You wanna go somewhere...? - Where? "ENTER UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH" - It's pretty cool huh? - Yes. This this kid who used to live in the building. Tommy. He would come down here and drink and smoke with his high school friends, and.. And when they weren't here, He would play ping-pong with me. He was really cool Then he had to move away. I kinda like it here... It's cool... I don't think any of the adults know about it... just us. So... what did you want to do down here...? I think I have an idea... close your eyes... keep them closed Let's make a pact. it only hurts for a second Here. Abby? Go away...! Goddammit ... Virginia...! Phooey! Virginia! Virginia! What the FUCK ? ! Leave her alone! Hey! Hey! Somebody call 9-1-1...! Mom! Mom! Hello! Dad? Can I talk to you? ...Sure, pal... What is it...? I don't know Do you think...? Is there such a thing As evil? What? What are you talking about, pal...? -... Can people be evil? - Where are you getting this...? From your mother...? -All her religious crap...? - No. You know what? Owen, listen put your mother on the phone, I wanna talk to her... she's not here... All right. please have her call me when she gets back, alright...? Well. Dad! Owen, I want you to get that crap out of your head, okay? You mother just... she has problems... and I'm gonna talk to her. So I don't want to hear any more about this, alright? alright? ...Yeah... You have a good night, pal. I love you. And I'm sorry about the last couple months, but I'll see you real soon, okay? - I promise! Maybe next weekend. - Okay... I love you! Can I come in...? ...You have to say it You can... come in.. Are you a vampire...? I... need blood. To live. - How old are you? Really. - twelve... But... I been twelve for a very long time... Where's your dad...? ...He wasn't... my dad... What this stuff? I like puzzles. I'm wanna go home now... I wanna go. Are you gonna let me...? What are you gonna do to me...? ...I told you we couldn't be friends... Hi... Are you Larry...? can I talk to you for a minute...? Sure. Sorry to bother you. ..How's... she doing...? It's been... quite a night They had to give her almost six pints of blood... We're still waiting to see if her body rejects it. I won't keep you too long. I just want... I need to ask you about the description you gave. Of the little girl. You said she had long blonde hair was around twelve years old, and wasn't wearing shoes... - Right? - Right! Have you ever seen this man? He's a suspect in a murder investigation. Maybe... Looks like a guy in our building Did he have a daughter? Like the girl you described? I don't know. I've only seen him a few times... Why? You think this is related to the murder case? Maybe. I began to believe that two of victims were part of a Satanic cult. What? We found another body few days ago... Same M.O. The victim was completely drained of blood... But there were bite marks on the victim's neck. Small ones. Like a child's Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! Virginia! God! Jesus Christ! No! "HI SWEETIE, MEETING WITH THE LAWYER TONIGHT. BE HOME LATER. THERE'S A POT PIE IN THE FREEZER! I LOVE YOU! GOD BLESS! MOM." one patient who killed in a fire, and one hospital nurse the five alarm fire broke out on the eight floor of the hospital.. The cause of the fire is still under investigation, but.... ...Hey. ...Hey. You... have to invite me in. It's your home What if I don't...? Why can't you just come in...? Is there something in your way...? No! Stop! You can come in! You can come in! What was that? I don't know. I just know this is what happens if you don't invite me in. What if I didn't say anything...? Would you have just kept bleeding...? You'd have died? I knew you wouldn't let me... You can borrow one of my mom's old dresses if you want...! Hello! Owen? I'm in here...! I'll be right there! "Hi, Owen. Good morning. I am in the bathroom. Please do not come in. Want to hang out with me again tonight? I really like you. Love, Abby." Hello...! Police department! Open the door Open the door! Police officer! No, no! Stop! Jesus Christ, son ! No! Owen... I have to go away... Ah! Speak of devil! There he is! Hi! - today we start in pool, okay? - Okay? - Hi, Owen! - Hi! He's here... Come on, hurry up ! face into water: one, two, three, breath. One, two, three, breath. One, two, three, breath. and again. One, two, three, breath... - Mr. Zoric there's a fire! - What? - Outside! In back! - Owen, I be right back! - Where? - In the basement! Everybody go out of the pool! What? Move! Let's GO! out! out! get out of the pool! out! Out! What are you gonna do with that...? No! No! leave me alone! No! No! No! No! stop! No! stop! No! stop it! No! stop! Grab his arms! Get his arms! No! No! stop! We have a little contest. Okay? You stay under water... three minutes. If you can do it I'll just give you a little nick. On your cheek. But if you can't... I'll poke out one of your eyes... Got it? An eye for an ear. Three minutes. Better take a deep breath ... - Okay, Jimmy... - Shut up! - Dude, come on... - I said shut up! Go! get me out of here! Help! Excuse me, can I see your ticket? That trunk yours...? TRAIN STARTS TO MOVE... Eat some now, save some for later... Eat some now, save some for later... REV.DECENIO Hey, it's Fred! My life is a horror movie! It's so scary! I'm so scared! And you'll be, too, once you hear about it. You'll be scared and scarred. Scare-arr-red! That's a new word I just made up, scared and scarred combined. Which is what you'll be. I'm gonna go get a snack. Do you want to hear about it or not? Meet me in the kitchen. Usually, I lead a very normal life, go to school, hang with friends, see my girl. You remember Judy, right? Freddie Judy. Yeah, we broke up. Dumped her. -Don't go, Fred. [LAUGHS] [SOBBING] I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. Oh, please, give me another chance. I just couldn't stand it. Couldn't... I can't do any more time. Please, turn me out of here. We'll do what we can for you. Go along now. Next man. [¶¶¶] I don't know. I don't know anything about it. Honest. I didn't have anything to do with it. That's the truth. You gotta believe me, fellas. I'm waiting. I don't know. Don't, Stacey, don't. All right, I'll tell! Spill it! It was Carlisle, Polecat Carlisle. Hanley had him do it. I didn't have no part in it. I just fingered him. I didn't know what they was gonna do with him. You can't blame me. Polecat. Yeah. He's at Rocky Point. I oughta know that. Hanley and Grayce got him picked up for an old rat and sent there to get him outta the way because the papers was getting hot. It's like having him put in a safe. Yeah. That's all I know. You can't blame me. In Rocky Point. No wonder you couldn't find him. The old homestead. So now what? So, what do you suppose? I promised the girl we'd find that fink and clear Ross, didn't I? Well, we did. Now we gotta get to Carlisle. Is that right? Duck soup. You take off the kelly at the front door and say, "Please, sir, can I see Mr. Polecat Carlisle?" It's too hot. And supposin' we do find the guy? Where's the payoff? Yeah, the payoff. Why don't you forget it, Stacey? What difference does it make if you promised the girl? What do you care about Ross? We can't help it if Polecat's in stir. We'll just fool around at Rocky Point and get paid off with a slug in the belly. And I ain't taking it for Ross or nobody. Okay. If there was only a half a chance, Stacey. Listen, don't do nothing foolish. If you get picked up now, you're gonna spend the rest of your life in the Hole. Yeah, I thought of that. I don't blame you guys for laying down on me. But do something for me, will ya? Sure. Yeah, what? Get out of here. I don't like the way ya smell. Go on, all of ya. Come on, beat it. I guess I'm a sucker, but I just can't get it out of my nut. Ross doing all those months in the Hole just to cover up for me. But still, he didn't have to, did he? No, he didn't have to. Remember what Ross' dame said that day about...? About Ross and me wanting the same thing all our lives, and he was doing something about it--? Yep, I remember. What about it? I think she had something there, so-- So what? So maybe I better do something about it. Don't be a fool. If you're picked up-- Shut up! Where did you ever get the idea I was a fool? I broke out of that pen once, didn't I? And I can do it again. Now, listen, Stacey, you can't-- You heard me, shut up. You do the listening, I'll do the talking. And pay attention. Because if there's any slip-up on your part of this, you'll answer to the boys for it. Now, here's the gag. Get word through to Dale. [CAR APPROACHING] It's okay, I didn't print it. [EXHALES] Hey! It's Stacey! Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What do I gotta do, fight my way back in? Come on! And you won't say why you came back and gave yourself up? You know what it means. What is this, a guessing game? According to rules, it means the book and the Hole, but not for me. I only came back for the weekend. You made it out once, Stacey, but you'll never do it again. We'll see how it works out. Now, do I get that plush-lined cell in solitary, or don't I? All right. Everything set for the break? Yeah. You coming in with us or not? I don't love life much, but I don't hate it enough to stick my head in front of a screw's bullet. Be a wise guy. Stick around here and maybe it won't be a screw's bullet. Maybe you'll get what Lassiter got. What about Lassiter? He's on his way home. Home? Out the back gate in a hearse. When'd it happen? Four o'clock this morning. Poor guy. Anybody told Meuller? No. None of the guys wanted to break it to him. Wait till he hears it. Yeah, I wouldn't wanna be Pete. For the last time, are you coming in with us or not? I told ya no, and I mean no. Oh, you're stir-nuts. He don't know what he's saying. Aw, come on, Frank, get wise to yourself. Lay off, Red. Will you lay off? Stacey's on the outside. I'm sure he's working for me. I'll take my chance that way. Tough luck, kid. [MACHINERY RATTLING] Jiggers. Meuller, you can't beat this joint! You have no chance! Let me go! Meuller, why ain't you at work? Get back to your machine. [SPITS] Get over agin that wall. I'm gonna bury you in the Hole. You hear what I told ya? Get over agin that wall. So you're the guy that wouldn't let Lassiter go to the hospital? I'll put you where he is, if you don't keep away from me. And you're the guy that made him fall and busted his back! Get over agin that wall! And you're the guy that's been riding me to the nut house! Stop him! Somebody, stop him! He's crazy! Get him away! Get the warden! And you're the dirty screw that killed my pal! [YELLING] [MEN YELLING] MEULLER: That's for all the guys you beat up and put in the Hole! And that! And that! And this is for Lassiter! [MEN SILENCE] [MEN MURMURING] We're crashing out! Who's coming with us? [CHEERING] Come on! I don't know what he's wanted for, but I was told to bring him along by Stacey. Come on, get going. [MEN YELLING] Come on, Ross. We need ya. You're all crazy, men. Don't try it! They'll blast you before you get to the gate! Don't be suckers. Stay out of it! If I didn't know you were stir-nuts, I'd blast ya! Come on, Red. Bring him along! Come on! [MEN YELLING] Don't be like that, pal. Come on, this is gonna be swell. Look, I got a nice little one for you too. Come on. [SIREN WAILING] [HORN BLOWING] There. You're out of it anyway. [GUARDS CHATTERING] Men, stay out of it. Don't be suckers. You can't fight machine guns and riot guns. Go back to your machines, you hear-- Get going! Come on! Let's go! MAN: No, I won't go in there! [MEN SHOUTING] We're heading for the warden's! There he is! [MEN SHOUTING] Lock the door, get in the mailroom and stay there. Pull 'em up! You're crazy. Put up those guns, men! I'm giving the orders now. You're taking us through them gates! You're digging your own graves, you fools! You do what we tell you, or you're digging yours. [MEN SHOUTING] [GUNSHOT] Listen, bigshot, you saw what Pollard just got, so order them gates to open up and take us to the car, or I'll blow your hair all over the ceiling. You haven't got the nerve, Dale. You can't get away with this. You'll spend the rest of your life in the Hole. You got 10 seconds to find out whether I got the nerve. Ten seconds or 10 years, the answer will always be the same. Listen, you dirty rats in there. If these gates ain't open in 10 seconds, I'm killing Armstrong just like Pollard! Is that right, warden? Did they kill Pollard? Never mind. Don't open the gates. Get on the phone. Call for extra help. We have, warden. It's on the way, sir. This is it, Armstrong. Don't you need the warden to make 'em open up the solitary? Yeah, yeah, that's right. I oughta give it to you now, but I got a date to keep with Stacey, and you're opening it up for him. You're heading for the Hole. Not a chance. [MEN CHEERING] Get them keys, or I give it to Lang on the spot! All right, men, all right! All right! I'll open up. MAN: Step on it! Quiet, boys, quiet! Meuller, Johnny, Ross, you come with us. Carr, you stick here. I told you, I didn't want any part of this. [MEN SHOUTING] Quiet! Oh, we get it. You want the warden to think you're too good to stick with your pals, huh? No, I don't wanna make the Hole for life. Listen, Ross. Get moving or I'll bump you, Stacey or no Stacey. MAN: Come on! [MEN SHOUTING] Come on. Move aside, Ross. They're all screwy. I'm glad you use your head. I'll make my own break when the time comes. So the picnic is on. This is it. And there's Polecat, like you asked. I'll get to him later. Hello, Frankie. I been waiting to see you for a long time. I got a surprise for ya. All right, boys. Right here. [EXPLOSION] [GUNFIRE] Dale! They threw gas bombs in through the gates. All the guys ran up in the north cell hall. Now, the National Guard's out there with machine guns and gas masks! Did I say a picnic? You two guys get in that cell. Okay. Why don't we give it to them right now? We may need 'em later. [GUNSHOTS] Any of you guys got a shiv? He's got one. Swell. Screws with machine guns all over the joint. We'll make out. Out where? Why, through the back door. We pick the screws off the wall, get some rope at the twine mill and lam out! Let's go! STACEY: Come on, get going. Come on. You guys go ahead. What about you? Don't worry about me. I'll make out. I got something to take care of. Go on, beat it. Put him in that cell. He's done. [GUNFIRE] We all go together, Stacey. You got any ideas? If you know any prayers, don't say 'em now. They won't do you any good. Come on, I got some unfinished business to take care of with the warden. Write a note. Tell 'em we'll release you and Lang if they let us out alive. Release 'em? Write 'em, we'll knock you both off in 10 minutes if they don't quit firing. My orders in case of riot are to keep firing, regardless of the safety of any official or guard. Those orders will stand. [GUNFIRE] Stay on the floor, and you won't get hurt. Maybe. [GUNFIRE] Take that undershirt off. We'll show 'em a white flag. Here's a chance for you to be a hero. Take this note over to the twine mill. And if you lose it, tell 'em to stop firing. We give up. I ain't going. I don't wanna get killed. What do you wanna do, live forever? Here, give it to me. Come on, Dale. Open that door. [GUNSHOTS] [GUNFIRE] [GUNFIRE] Looks like they don't wanna play. How bad are you hit? Oh, it's just a nick. Anything I can do? No, thanks, Frank. [GUNFIRE] They'll be blasting it open pretty soon. Stacey, the riot's a bust. Get back in your cell while there's still a chance. No, won't do me no good now, kid. I still got that Limpy rap hanging over me, even though it was-- [EXPLOSION] It wasn't my job. I wouldn't appear against you. I know it. It's no use, Frank. This is the last roundup for Stacey. [GUNSHOTS] But there's still that unfinished business of yours to take care of. It's still okay. Where's Polecat? Over there. I wanna talk to him. Didn't I tell ya I had a surprise for ya? Come on. I ain't got no time to waste. Funny, just an hour ago, I had 199 years. And now I ain't got no time at all. I'll get the rat. [GUNSHOTS] We got an affidavit from Shake Edwards before I came back in here. What about those guys who framed me? Did you get them? Yeah. Well, rat. So it caught up with you. I didn't do nothing. I don't know what you're talking about. Stacey, put up that gun and listen. You're sunk. I know it, big boy. I just want you to listen to what this rat's gotta say. Remember what happened to Limpy? In about two minutes, you're gonna get worse. Honest, Stacey. I ain't done a thing. In two minutes, you're gonna get this .38 between the eyes. Don't shoot me, Stacey! I didn't never snitch on you. I ain't talking about you snitching on me. I'm talking about something I learned from Shake Edwards. No, I don't know nothing. I'm talkin' about you framin' Ross into this joint. Honest. We never framed him. [SCREAMS] Start talking. I can't. I don't know. Wait, wait. I'll talk. Okay. This is a confession without coaching. And it's gonna spring Ross, so remember it. Okay, canary. Start singing. Who framed Ross? I did. But I didn't mean nobody to get killed. Quit stalling. Who paid ya to do it? Hanley and Grayce. How did you frame him? I socked his head. Then planted the liquor in the car. Yeah. Then started the car and then jumped out. Yeah, I did, but I didn't mean to have nobody get killed. [GUNFIRE] Have you heard enough? Plenty, Stacey. And thanks. Okay, pal. That's just what I hoped. [GUNSHOTS] [EXPLOSION] I'm all right, Frank. Stacey, you can't wash out on me now. I need you. I'll get you out of here. I'm going out, pal. My way. I wanna tell you something. [GUNFIRE] That dame of yours is the one that sprung ya, not me. Take care of her. She's worth it. I think I can hold 'em! No hurry now, Dale. So long, kid. Now we're even. So long, Stacey. Come on, you. On your feet. Honest, Stacey, honest. It wasn't my fault. I told ya I didn't want anybody killed. Get moving. Where you taking me? You didn't think I was gonna let you live and welsh on that confession, did ya? No, no. Let me alone! Let me alone! Please, Stacey, please! [GUNFIRE] [¶¶¶] [¶¶¶] So long, old-timer. I guess if you hadn't socked me on the chin, I'd be laying in the icehouse now, along with Dale and the rest. I- - Gee, I don't know what to say. Never mind, Red. You'll be out yourself before long. Thanks. So long, Frank. It oughta make up for what you've gone through in here, Ross, to know that it hasn't been in vain. The day Stacey came to me and gave himself up, I asked him why he was throwing away his freedom. I didn't fully understand all he tried to tell me, but it was something about you living the rest of your life for him as he might have lived it himself if he'd had the right breaks when he was a kid. Then he asked me for a photograph of himself. Here it is. Frank. [¶¶¶] [¶¶¶] [music] [THUNDER CRASHES] Stop. Stop there. Hello. All right, you asked for it. You've got it, pappy. Come on, baby. [music] Get in. In back. [ENGINE REVVING] [SCREAMS] [WOMAN SCREAMS] G] [CROWD CHATTERIN WOMAN: He's burnt. [CROWD CHATTERING] Come on! Let me in. [ALL CLAMORING] [CRACKS GAVEL] [music] WOMAN: Frank. WOMAN: Frank! We'll get you out. They can't keep you in prison. Kinda watch out for my mothe r, will you? How tough are you, babe? [MEN CLAMORING] Left turn. [MACHINERY RATTLING] ! Hey, Limpy Come here. And Limpy. es. You go on over there and h elp those boys stack those bal And fold your arms . You hear? Go on over there and join Stacey at that breaker. [SOFTLY] Yes, sir. Oh, just for a visit, boys . Just for a visit. Why, you flap your ears and wish you was a swallow. Murder, second degree. He's doing life. im. Don't wo rry, I'll watch h [BELL RINGS] Why, you no-good rat. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! All of you! er. that you won't like eith Now, get over there and change your clothes. Both of you. Get back to your machine s, you men! Look out! [MEN CHATTERING] MAN: That's a homer. [MEN LAUGHING] and kill the first creep that comes in your way. . Come over here and join the rest of the dopes [CHUCKLING] Show you tramps who's boss around here. Shh! Stop it. ame. Come on, pal. Let's go watch the g You have to know all the answers? wn. Nice work. Pipe do Smells like he's g ot some pull somewhere. Come on, get going , Stacey. oy. Who, me, sir? No, sir. I ain't that kind of a b t. Never mind. I'll take care of him when he gets ou Just six months. And look at him now. [music] [MACHINERY RATTLING] I wish I'd s tayed home in Fargo. I'd turn them loose as fast as they was catched. Is that a ghost? Yeah. I don't know the meaning of the word. . Okay, Ross ] [PLAYING "DON'T GIVE UP THE SHIP" Hey, Stacey. In here. [MUSIC ENDS] [TAPS] [APPLAUSE] G] [PLANES SOARIN [CHEERING] This monument we dedicate is a thing of stone... [MEN CLAMORING] Get back there. GUARD 3: Sit down. Sit down. Take your seats. [MACHINERY RATTLING] y. Listen, Ross. I didn't kill Limp So, uh, all we've gotta do is get you out of here? s. Jigger Go to the warden and tell him about me having that shiv. . You going stir-nuts to o? This is a sure out for you p. Hey, dummy u Take it. Get out of he re, before I change my mind. Face the wall. Fold your arms. . Yes, sir All right, Ross. Sit here. Come in, miss. y. [WHISPERS] I've missed you so terribl . Mm I've brought her here. You can't send her away. ht. All right, all rig All right, madam. I got the ice cream across the street from a little shop. They're sure they can get you out. They'll take care of me, all right. [SOBBING] a? Please don't worry, will y t. Just a minute, ladies. He's got to leave firs Goodbye, Ma. . and thanks for everything [BLOWS WHISTLE] You know me, Mr. Ross. . about the Limpy Julien killing There ain't much to say. ! Stacey le. Take him to the Ho Get outta here. [music] [CROWD CHATTERING] Hey, sit down. How are you? . Well, don't ta lk to him anymore te. I told you you could only have a minu . BAILIFF: Everybody rise Be seated. [HORN HONKS] v. Judson Stacey. [CROWD SCREAMING] [GUNSHOTS] Come on. I'll write you Sunday. Over there. in. Bring him . I don't know You don't know. I've told you everything I know! Work on him. [BLOWS THUDDING] What's going on here? Take him out. e. You stay her . if I have to charge yo u in criminal court to do it Just a minute. Let me out of here, do you hear? Let me outta here! [music] Bill, you don't know what it does to him up there. [SOBBING] y. You've got to let me see Stace I could get you into heaven easier. . However, I'll do whatever I can for you Thanks, Mr. Lockhart. [KNOCK ON DOOR] f. Take the blinders of You stay. Sit down. Put the blinders on her. Come on, you guys. All right, Lockhart, powder. Like a bunch of tin crooks. You know better. m. of the man who framed hi You're in love with Ross, aren't you? I'm gonna give Ross a break. Come with me. e! FRANK: You can't get me in ther . Let him go Think you can do it? t. all set for a fresh star But you've got to earn it. What do you say? [SOBBING] [music] [MACHINERY RATTLING] ? Sounds bad . Is it catching Wait'll he catches those creep s. Yeah, yeah. That goes for you too. Let go of him, I tell ya! Get back! Come on, you lead-slinger. You ain't hurt. Come on, get up. You ain't-- Take him to the hospital. a! Or I'll book y [music] [CLOCK TICKING] All right. Sit down, Ross. . I feel pretty well Why did you help Stacey to escape? To curry favor with the board in hope of release. y? Haven't you anything to sa [LAUGHS] [SOBBING] Oh, please, give me another chance. . I can't do any more time Please, turn me out of here. Go along now. [music] Yeah. That's all I k now. You can't blame me. Come on, beat it. NG] [CAR APPROACHI it. It's okay, I didn't print Come on! All right. ng. Oh, you're stir-nuts. He don't know what he's sayi way. I'll take my chance that [MACHINERY RATTLING] Jiggers. You have no chance! Let me go! [SPITS] [YELLING] [MEN YELLING] [MEN SILENCE] Come on! Come on, Ross. We need ya. [MEN YELLING] Come on. [HORN BLOWING] . There. You're out of it anyway [GUARDS CHATTERING] Get going! Come on! Let's go! [MEN SHOUTING] [MEN SHOUTING] Lock the door, get in the mailroom and stay there. [MEN SHOUTING] the answer will alwa ys be the same. All right, men, all righ t! All right! Get moving or I'll bump yo u, Stacey or no Stacey. [MEN SHOUTING] Come on. Move aside, Ross. s. I'll make my own b reak when the time come . All right, boys. Right here [EXPLOSION] Did I say a picnic? We may need 'em later. [GUNSHOTS] STACEY: Come on, get going. Come on. I got something to take care of. Go on, beat it. [GUNFIRE] to take care of with the warden. Those orders will stand. [GUNFIRE] Maybe. [GUNFIRE] [GUNSHOTS] [GUNFIRE] [GUNFIRE] [GUNFIRE] to take care of. . Come on. I ain't got no time to waste Yeah. [GUNFIRE] [GUNFIRE] Take care of her. She's worth it. em! I think I can hold ' No hurry now, Dale. y. So long, Stace [GUNFIRE] [music] [music] I- - Gee, I don't know what to say. You'll be out yourself before long. . So long, Frank Here it is. Frank. [music] [music] "Now, in Injia 's sunny clime, Where I used to spend my time "A-servin' of 'Er Majesty, the Queen "Of all them black-faced crew "The finest man I knew "Was our regimental bhisti " Detail, halt! What was that all about? They are pilgrims, sahib, going home to the hills. They beg to follow us for safety. Tell them not to fall too far behind. Detail, walk. March! Jadoo, the sun is going down. Expect we'd better bivouac at Elephant Rock, as usual. Yes, Markham sahib. I don't like it, Mitchell. I don't like it. Silence is unhealthy. No word from Markham in 48 hours. Blast it, an officer and his patrol don't vanish into thin air. - Telegraph just got through, sir. - Good. What have you got? Wires apparently down for the last two days. I thought it was something like that. Emergency signal, sir. Why doesn't he go on? Wire's gone dead, sir. I don't like this. Can't have the wires down. Things start too quickly up there. Higginbotham. Find Sgts. MacChesney, Cutter, and Ballantine, and bring them here. That's a bit difficult, as they're all on leave. On some mysterious mission, they said. It'll be a mystery if they come back right side up. Bring them here at once. - What do you want? - Where's Sgt. Ballantine? - Here. - Where's Sgt. Cutter? He's busy. Buying a map for a buried treasure. You ought to have your head examined. - I didn't know the map was a swindle. - You and your emeralds. You ought to be put in a padded cell. If we'd found them emeralds, we could've left the army... and lived like dukes. See? That's the fellow that sold me the map. Just a minute. Let me take care of him, will you? Take your hands off that man. I'm waiting for an explanation. Speak up, MacChesney. Speak up! We were swindled, sir. - We? - Who swindled you? We don't want to make any charges until we have further proof. Further proof? You practically wrecked a village. You surely didn't do that, MacChesney, without proof? Sir, we had our suspicions. Suspicions of what? Come on. I've no time to wheedle the story out of you. We bought a map. Go on. From a private in a certain Scottish regiment, sir. No, I did it. I bought the map myself, sir. Now, listen. Don't you try to shield your friends, Cutter. And it won't do you two any good to hide behind Cutter's generosity. Out with it. A map of what? Of Lake Singali, sir. Yes, sir. And the privilege of diving into it to our heart's content. Diving for what? - For emeralds, sir. - A barge full, sir. According to the information I bought, it was sunk in the year 241. I can hardly believe it. Ballantine, a man of your intelligence... MacChesney, at your age... They was the spoils of a maharajah, sir. Thank you, Cutter. That will be sufficient. As for you two... I ought to take away your stripes, not only for insubordination... but for idiocy. Sheer, childish, soft-brained idiocy. But fortunately for you, I need all three of you at Tantrapur. We're going out on a job, sir? Of the most vital importance. You leave for Tantrapur... with a detachment in the morning... to repair the telegraph and keep it open. Left turn! Left wheel, quick march! Left wheel! Attention! Eyes forward! Party, halt! Sergeants, dismount! Cold. Stale. I don't mind saying the whole thing fair gives me the creeps. Creeps or no creeps, we've got to get in touch with the Colonel. We can't until we get them poles up and this wire strung. Naik, detail 10 men for guard duty. The remainder will pile arms and prepare for work. Halt! Gunga Din, water. Gunga Din, bring water! Bring water! Whoever's been playing tricks with this village is blinking clever. I couldn't find a trail or a single footprint leading in or out. So the village isn't quite deserted, eh? - Salaam, sahib. - Who are you? What are you doing? My name is Pandu Lal. I'm a miserable seller of trinkets. Last night a band of dacoits raided this village, looted my shop... and stole off with my poor wife and six children. The children are looking bonny. Come on, everybody, in the other room. Go on, get up. On the double. Get in there. You heard me! Quick! That's right. Go on. That's better. - What's that? - Trinkets, sahib. Only what I could save from my pitiful stock. - Worth hardly a few annas. - Go on, open them up. Who are these playful subjects here? I don't know, but young Toad Face there seems to be leader. Get them all out of here. Come on, get out of here. On your feet. Hold them there. Naik, detail eight men for escort duty. Bring them here on the double. Listen, you. What became of Burgess sahib? - Come on, spit it out. - He can speak, but he won't. - He doesn't know. - Here. You never saw one of these things before, did you? It's for growing daisies, isn't it? - Or for planting lilies for people's graves. - No, sahib. What became of these people here? - He doesn't know. - That's good. We'll take them back with us and let the Colonel put them through the mangle. No. Will not go with the white sahib. You will never leave here. Already your graves are dug. By nightfall, Ma Kali will be smiling. Never mind the second chorus. Come on. Party, form a square! Under cover, everybody! Get in there! Take cover in the courtyard. Close the gates. Climb the wall, everybody! Come on, men, on the roof! Look out, Mac! Take cover behind the wall. Volley firing. Ready? Ready? Get set. Fire! Here you are, Cutter. Get in there. Come on. Ballantine, come up! Let's go. Here's a present for you. Bal, catch! Come on, let's go! Charge! Everybody under cover! Get behind the wall. Come on. Hurry up. - Panee, Sergeant sahib? - No! How did you get here? You're a funny bloke, Din... but I'll admit you're a good bhisti. - Could be first-class soldier, sahib. - Don't make me laugh. Get to the river! - Come on, you savage, over you go. - Over you go. All right, give me that. What's the matter, Bal? You've been woolgathering ever since we crawled out of the river. - You know, my time is up on May 14. - What of that? You can sign on for another nine years, can't you? Make a man out of him. I'm leaving the service. - Leaving the service? - That's right. I'm getting married, and I'm going in the tea business. - Married! - Tea business! Why, you're mad if... March to attention, everybody! Let's march in in good style, men. - Fall in up there. - Left, right, left. Tell the Sergeant to report at the office immediately. Yes, sir. Party, right wheel! Halt! Left face! Sergeants to the front! The wiring party's returned from Tantrapur, sir. Eight killed, three wounded. Otherwise all correct. Very well, Sergeant. Dismiss your men... and report at the office immediately. Very good, sir. Party, dismissed! - Identical, Mitchell. - Good heavens, a Thug pickaxe. It's incredible, but that's what happened to Markham. I'm afraid they've done away with poor Burgess, too. There's been none of this for 50 years. Thuggee. That's what it is, Mitchell. What's Thuggee, sir? A murder cult Col. Sleeman crushed 50 years ago. The Thugs were the most fiendish band of killers that ever existed. There were at least 10,000 in India, and they murdered 30,000 people a year. Thuggee was practiced from the Himalayas to Ceylon. The order was religious and worshipped Kali, the goddess of blood. The Thugs were stranglers, weren't they, sir? Stranglers. They dug the graves of their victims in advance. Mitchell, we must stamp this out immediately. The Lancers will scour the country west of Tantrapur... - you will search the regions to the east. - Right. - What do we do, sir? - You're dismissed, Ballantine. MacChesney, you and Cutter will leave tomorrow with a stronger... Ballantine, you're dismissed. You and Cutter will take a stronger detachment tomorrow... into Tantrapur, to finish your work. Maj. Mitchell and I will be in close touch with you at all times on either flank. Keep your eyes open for Thugs. Ballantine would be a great help, sir. If I may remind you... the three of us have always brought off things very well together. Yes, sir. He's indispensable. Ballantine's leaving the service in six days. He's getting married. Couldn't you put your foot down? Forbid the banns? Something like that? When the parson says, "Speak now or forever hold your peace"... couldn't you give him a roar, sir? You know what I mean? Higginbotham will replace him. Dismissed. - Tommy, I've got you back again. - And I've got you. I'm here to stay, forever and ever. Forever and ever. That's horrible. - She's charmed him like a snake. - The siren. Wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it with my own eyes. Me, neither. I can't stand it. Me, too. Left! Right! Center! As you were! Company, attention! Right turn! Two paces forward. March! Head up, chin in. Get those thumbs behind the seams of your trousers... Get them back. Lower that left shoulder an eighth of an inch. That's much better. Otherwise you're looking very regimental, Din. Thank you, Sergeant. - Was salute satisfactory? - That's the idea... only you want these fingers to fan the eyebrows, more like this. The breeze from them fingers ought to almost blow this eyebrow off. Now try it again. Very good, indeed. That one almost blew your turban off, didn't it? Very regimental, Din. Keep them at it, Subedar sahib. They may need it. Tell the Subedar to drill the men till sundown. - Where did you get the bugle, Din? - Please, sahib, I find when nobody looking. Don't you know that's very naughty? Please, sahib, don't take away. Bugle only pleasure for poor bhisti. Thank you, sahib. - Sahib care to hear new call? - Not now. Very regimental, Din. Company, attention! Company, dismissed! Let me see your tongue, Annie. I'd like to try it, Sergeant sahib. Very old Indian remedy. All right, go ahead. But be careful. If anything happens to her, I'll... Understand? Cry my eyes out. No, sahib! Very little bit goes very long way. Gulp it down quick. Then you won't taste it. I know. You want your daddy to give it to you, don't you? Daddy will give you the medicine. Give it to me. There. Be a nice girl, now. Or you'll never be strong and big like Daddy. If Daddy took a spoonful first himself, Baby might do a patty-cake for him. This is delicious. This is... All for a nice little elephant girl. This is lovely. You ain't so stupid as you look. That's better. Annie, don't ever worry me like that again. There you are, you two. I've got letters for both of you. There. Sgt. MacChesney and Sgt. Archibald Cutter. Look what it says here. "Miss Emaline Stebbins requests the pleasure... "of Sgt. Archibald Cutter's company at a"... What's that? "...betrothal dance preceding her marriage to Sgt. Thomas Ballantine. "8:00 p.m. Friday." That's tonight. I worried so about you, dear, while you were away. Perfectly awful things must have happened at Tantrapur. It was rather touch and go there for a bit. - You haven't told me yet about it yourself. - No, I haven't, have I? I had to give my undivided attention to the repairing of the wires. Cutter and MacChesney should have watched out for the enemy... but they were off chasing butterflies or something like that. I finally got the detachment to the river, and we dived in and escaped. Tommy, you're so marvelous. That's all there is to it, I suppose. On the last roof we almost lost MacChesney. His great elephant hoof crashed through and stuck. - How did you get him out? - We had to saw his leg off at the hip. If you don't believe me, just look behind that shrub. Save some for the elephant. Destroy the evidence. - Stand guard, will you? - Yeah. Never mind that, Sergeant. Stand easy. - Good evening, Colonel. - Evening, Stebbins. - Good evening, Major. - How are you? No formality. We just dropped in to wish little Emmy the best of luck. That's very nice of you, sir. I'll bring Emmy to you. - Looks like a jolly party, Sergeant. - Yes, sir. Very jolly, sir. Is that a punch bowl you're shutting out? Is that punch? Some peoples calls it a punch, sir, but I calls it swill. Nonsense. Stebbins is famous for his punch. Have a spot? Rather. Excuse me, sir. I wouldn't touch it if I were you, sir. Too watery, sir. Besides, it'll rust in the lining of your stomach. - We'll be the judge of that. - Wait, sir. There's a fly. - I don't see a fly. - Neither do I. There it is, sir. It just dove under the ice. I'll get the little nipper in half a jiffy. I got him. Hear him? Humming like a beehive. He's gone. Ain't that a shame? There he goes. Come along, Mitchell. I think we'll forget the punch. Tommy, you know we have Sgt. Higginbotham to thank... for your being let out of the expedition. That's right. The Colonel says I'm the only man sharp enough... - to replace Sgt. Ballantine. - That's very flattering. I'm only glad to be so some help in, shall we say, Cupid's service. One thing I can promise... with Cutter and MacChesney about, you won't have one dull moment. I've got a feeling they don't like me very much. It's just as well. - The army's no place for sentiment, I says. - That's right. Excuse me. I've got a pebble in my left boot. Hello, Higginbotham. - How would you like to come with me? - What? I'd like to discuss a few of my military theories with you. I'd like to have a little chat, get to know each other better. - How about a bit of a drink, Bert? - Thanks, Cutter. - Where's Ballantine? - Never mind that civilian. I got Bertie Higginbotham, his replacement. Bertie's got a thirst like a derby winner, haven't you, Bertie? We can look after that, old boy. Take a plunge into this punch. Punch? That stuff's for drummer boys and old ladies. - Not that stuff. - That would knock a horse down. Swill that down, me boy... and you'll think all the Thugs in India is a bunch of missionaries. That's right, Bert. That's a funny thing. The punch tastes all right. It's all right. Bert, how about having another drink? To the new comradeship, Mac and you and me and the regiment forever. - That's it, Bertie, my boy. - I'll drink to that. All right. Here's to good old Bertie Higginbotham... the finest soldier since William the blooming Conqueror. Down the hatch, boys! Which of these two do you prefer? I don't know. Try them both. One for each window. Don't be silly, darling. It's as much your problem as it is mine. - I know. - These curtains are for your den. My den? What's this, Sergeant? Buying a trousseau? We're buying curtains. I thought it was for underpants, the kind civilians wear in the tea business. Will you two leave and stop annoying Tommy? I'd like to oblige, but we're marching off to Tantrapur in 20 minutes... and Tommy's marching with us. But Higginbotham's replacing him. The Colonel said... Higginbotham's in hospital, Miss. I grieve to say, Miss, that the man is a tower of pain. - Something he must have ate. - Or drank? Sgt. Ballantine, fall in! - Tommy. - It's the Colonel's orders, Miss. Tommy, these friends of yours have engineered this behind your back. Don't cry, darling. Goodbye. This is May 9. I'm going with you for five days, and good company I'll be... but at sunset on May 14, when my time is up... wherever we are, I'm going to knock you two apes' heads together. Now come on. - Pardon me, madam. - Fall in! Your petticoat's showing. Ek Number! All's well! Do Number! All's well! Teen Number! All's well! Chaar Number! All's well! Paanch Number! All's well! Swing those picks there. You think this is a strawberry festival? Shake a leg with that pole. Come on, get it up there at the double. This is a fine time for things to go quiet. Blast them Thugs. Why don't they come and give us a good fight? Then Bal will be a pipe to re-enlist. Come on, hurry up, I told you. How can we get a nice little war going? What if I were to blow up the Taj Mahal or one of them sacred tombs? What do you want to do, start the Indian Mutiny again? Annie, get your back into it! Hurry up! He's even snarling at poor little Annie. You can't work 24 hours a day, you know. In another 24 hours, my time will be up. I don't want to leave anything undone that might detain me. Get it up, hurry up. He's tired. It just goes to show you what a piece of dry goods will do. A brilliant bloke like him, too. Cutter, we got to do something. Come here. - What now? - Look, Mac... for four days we've been waiting for them Thugs to start something. Four days in this cruel heat and horrible tension. - What's that to do with Ballantine? - I'm coming to that. Go on. Three hours from where we're sitting, by a secret trail... there's a gold temple waiting to be sliced away and carried off. Have you started after this buried treasure again? Just a minute, Mac. This one ain't buried. According to Gunga Din, it's standing right out in the open. According to Gunga Din, eh? I thought he might have been at the bottom of this. What's the idea of this lushing? - Give me that bottle. - Wait! Just a minute. MacChesney, I'm here to speak, and I'm going to have my say. You want Ballantine to stay with us, don't you? - Of course I want him to stay. - All right. Just a minute. It's as easy as parting your hair. We take Bal to the temple, show him the gold... and the moment he starts slicing at it... marriage and the tea business will whiz from his mind. MacChesney, versus that, you can't think of a single argument. Cutter, I'm warning you. - What's the matter with you? - What's the matter with me? I'm sick of it! Now shut your trap. - You mean you won't go? - No! And if you mention gold temples again to me... I'll tear the back right off you with a shovel. Very well, MacChesney, you made your choice. I offered you the chance to be a millionaire... and you turned it down. All right, I'm going alone. Wait a minute! Cutter, you ain't leaving this village without my permission. Give me that bottle. I've been a soldier for 14 years. I know my duties as well as you do. But you're not talking to a soldier now, you're talking to an expedition. I'm an expedition. Out of my way. Cutter, sit down before I throw you down. Make way for the expedition, if you know what's good for you. Goodbye forever. Stand back. I'll throw you in the clink if you make a move. Out of my way before I split your jaw. - Cutter, I'm warning you. - Come on, put 'em up. Come on, out of my way. I'll bash your ugly face in, that's what I'll do. Come on, put 'em up. I'm afraid I have to do it. Sgt. Ballantine. - What? - Come here. Poor fellow's taken with a dizzy spell. Lock him up safely until he comes to. I'll lock him up. I'm only sorry you didn't have a dizzy spell, too. Then I'd lock you both up at the same time. Good old Din. What's up? Tonight, when everyone sleep, Din go back again. - See gold. - You did? Where is it? Didn't you bring any with you? Bhisti cannot carry whole temple. - Whole temple? - Din see it. All gold. Here, now. We've got to get out of here now. Get me some tools that I can rip these blinking bars out with. - Already bring all tools could find. - Yeah. Is this satisfactory, sahib? Think I want to break out of a blooming pudding? Go on, get something big. Jaldi! Up, Annie. Please, Annie. What are you doing, Din? A large tool you asked for, sahib. Annie, come on, pull these blinking bars out for me. Work for me. Get me out of here, Annie. Come on, Annie. Be a good girl. Whoa, Annie! Just the bars! Alert the guards! - Wake up! - What? The Thugs are here! Why didn't you say so? I'd like to get a crack at them. What happened? - Dacoits slipped in and stole elephant. - What's that? Thugs stole Annie. Stole Annie? They'll stoop to anything. How many were there? - Couldn't see. - Where did they go? - The hills. - Sound assembly. Sgt. Ballantine, pick 16 men and follow me. MacCheesecake, if this is another of your tricks... Fall in the remainder! Put every man on guard duty! - Very good, sir. - Steal Annie, will they? I'll break every Thug's back in India! Din, are you sure you're on the right trail? Yes, sahib. Here is the bridge, sahib. - Is this bridge safe? - It's safe, sahib. Safe? What do you mean, safe? Make her stop that. She's making me nervous. Get out of my way. It's no time to do a thing like that! Annie! Take your foot off. Annie! Take your trunk off. Annie, please go back! That's gold, bugler. Look at it, bugler. That's yours and mine. Archibald Cutter, the blooming duke, look at me, and Rajah Gunga Din... pouring diamonds out of that there blinking water bag. Bugle will be very satisfactory. Come on, Din. The world is ours. Kali. Sahib, come quick. Thugs, lift up your faces... to the light that shines from Kali's throne. Brothers in Thuggee... we are the friendless of this earth. Every man's hand is against us. We have been kicked, spat upon... and driven to the hills like wild things. My father was a Thug, and he was hanged. His father was blown from a cannon's mouth. And what of your kinsmen, your fathers and their fathers... and their fathers' fathers before them? My brothers, a new day is at hand. I have read the omens, and they are good. Three nights ago, a jackal screamed upon the left. Another answered from the right at once. What does that mean, my brothers? It means that Mother Kali, with all her arms outstretched... hugs us to her bosom, welcoming us back as Thugs... Thugs awakened from a sleep... of 50 years. Let the neophytes and their teachers draw near. Where are the stranglers? Give them their strangling cloths. Give them their burial picks. Swear by our Mother Kali... to be thrice faithful to her and to me and to our order... and to all of us. Rise, our new-made brothers. Rise and kill. Kill, lest you be killed yourselves. Kill for the love of killing. Kill for the love of Kali. Kill! It's them all right, Din, the whole blinking lot of them. Very bad men. The Colonel's got to know. You must get there, Din. The Colonel's got to know. The Colonel? I run quick. Since mighty roast beef is an Englishman's food It accounts for the freedom that runs in his blood For generous living Does it do all good Excuse me, mates. Oh, the roast beef of England And, oh, the old English roast beef Sing us a song, will you? You're all under arrest. The whole bunch of you. And you, too. You know why? Her Majesty's very touchy about having her subjects strangled. I can't waste any more time. Come on, wrap up your gear. You're coming with me. Hurry up. Guruji. If it ain't young Toad Face. Fancy meeting you here. Vile dog. For that insolence, you shall grovel before my son. You shall grovel, I say! Look here. I'm a soldier of Her Majesty the Queen, and I don't grovel before any heathen. Kabul, take him to the tower... and teach him the error of false pride. Take him away! In those drear gray hours before dawn, just go out and chase elephants. Beats counting sheep a million miles. What do you mean, elephants? This ain't elephants. This is Annie, my Annie. I'll find her if I have to turn out the whole British Army. What the blazes is this? Good morning, gentlemen. Good morning. What the blazes are you here for? I've come to replace Sgt. Ballantine. Higginbotham, I could just fall on your neck. I got a better neck than mine you can fall on. That's a good one. Hello, there! Tommy, hello! How wonderful of you to meet us. I came here to surprise you, and here you are, surprising me. - Good morning, Sgt. MacChesney. - Good morning, Miss. Here are Tommy's discharge papers. Cutter will be very pleased about this. - Column of threes! - Eyes front! Sit up straight there! Who do you think you are, a lot of blinking nursemaids in Hyde Park? Walk march! Forward! Party, halt! Sgt. Ballantine, take charge. Go inside, dear. I'll be right with you. All right, but do hurry, so we can leave soon. - Naik, what about this? - He just came back, Sergeant sahib. Come here, you. Din, I knew you was at the bottom of all this. Didn't you knock down the shed and take off Sgt. Cutter? You'll answer to me. We'll have a court-martial here and now. - Line up a firing squad. - Please, sahib. You stole the elephant, didn't you? Answer me! You knocked down a building and liberated Her Majesty's prisoner... Sgt. Cutter, didn't you? - Yes, sahib. - That's all! Take him away! You Lazarushian beggar, it'll be the firing squad for you this time! Wait a minute, Mac. Where's Cutter? Din, where is Sgt. Cutter? - They catch him. - What's that? Who? In the gold temple, they catch Sgt. Cutter. Who's they? Priests or what? Very bad men. They'll give him torture. Go help, quick. - How many men? - Don't know. - I run away quick to bring help. - I'll bet you ran away quick. And you'll run back just as quick, too. Show me the way. - I'll pick a dozen men. - You'll pick nothing! I'm going alone. You haven't a chance. I'm not killing Cutter by riding in with a troop. They'll cut him up if we have a rescue party. - Right. We'll go together. - No. Tommy, what's the matter? Cutter got himself into a mess, and Mac and I are going to get him out. Don't worry, I'm not taking him. I'm going as a sergeant in Her Majesty's service. - I'm not taking any civilians with me. - Who's a civilian? It says here, "Thomas Anthony Ballantine... "is restored to the rank of citizen of Great Britain... "and his duty to Her Majesty's service is over and done with." Try and keep me out of this. I'm saying goodbye, Bal, and I wish you luck in the tea business... and your matrimony both. Wait a minute, Mac. Wait right here. I have to talk to him. - But he said you can't go. - He'll change his mind. - I won't let you go! - Darling, I have to go. I owe it to Cutter. - He's saved my life time and again. - You don't love me. Do you want me to go through life remembering that I ran out... on one of my two best friends? After what they did to Higginbotham, and dragging you up here again? That's just the way of showing their friendship. I hate the army, I'm through with it, but friendship, that's something else. But we're wasting valuable time. You have to understand. I'll be right back. - I want to talk to you. - You? I don't want to argue... I'm going if I have to shoot you and go alone. You know as well as I do why you can't go. If anything happens to you, I'd be in a fine mess. Your girl would prefer charges. - She wouldn't. - I don't trust her. There's only one way I'll risk it. - What's that? - For you to sign up. When we get Cutter, we'll tear up the papers. It'll be according to regulations. Is that fair enough for you? You're getting clever again. Do you want me to get kicked out of the army? All right, I'll sign, but on one condition. That I hold the blank in my hand and I keep it after I'm through. You don't trust me. That's right. All right. What are you doing with that in your pocket? I always carry one. In case. No, you don't. Not a word of this to Emmy, you understand? Shake on it? Hurry up. Excuse me, miss. Sgt. Ballantine and I are going out on a reconnoitering expedition. - Yes, sir. - Lf we're not back by morning... inform the Colonel, and you follow our trail. - Come this way. - Excuse me, Miss Stebbins. - I'm going, Emmy. He's changed his mind. - Who made him change it? - Reason and common decency. - You're lying. Would I lie at a time like this, just before our wedding? Be reasonable. You didn't sign anything? Why ask a question like that? Do I look that stupid? Just pretend I'm going off on a picnic. That's all it'll amount to. We'll get Cutter out of that gold temple without firing a shot, just by strategy. We've done things like this before. It's just a lot of fun. - Fun? You want to go. - Darling... - Sgt. Ballantine, fall in! - Right, sir. He called you sergeant. Why? You're not in the army. It's just an old habit, hard to break. I'll see you tomorrow. Why don't you come right out and say you don't want to get married? You'd rather be with him. Why fool me by telling me how you hated him and his ugly face... and all the ugly faces in the army? - I didn't say quite that. Be fair. - Please, sahib, hurry. - Come on, Sergeant! - Can't you wait a minute? Sure, I can wait, but I'm not so sure about Cutter. - Can't you trust me? Kiss me goodbye. - No, never. They're probably slicing Cutter's ears off by now. - I'm coming, Mac! - Darling, please don't go. You don't want a man for a husband. You want a coward who'll run out on a friend in danger. That's not me, and never will be. I don't care how much I love you, and I do, very much... I'm a soldier... I mean, I'm a man first. All right, MacCheesecake, get that silly smirk off your face. - Come on. - Let's go. Surely Mother Kali is kind. One Englishman fly walks in, and now our web is baited. More will follow. Two more have crossed the bridge. It is well. Prepare. You said this place was full of priests. - Sahib do not give Din chance to say. - You've got a mouth, haven't you? Quiet. It's Kali. A Thug temple. Why didn't you tell me they were Thugs? I've a good mind to split you in two and stuff you up an elephant's trunk. MacChesney roar so loud... poor bhisti cannot get a word sideways between roarings. Enough of that. We're here to find Cutter. We should have brought every man in the regiment. I only wish you had, sahib. Hello, Din. Fine work, bugler. I knew you'd do it. Thank you, sahib. - Hello, boy. - Hello, mate. You're alive, anyway. What's this? I'll chop you down right away. So there you are, you white-livered elephant-stealing treasure hunter. Look at you, hanging there like a lamb in a butcher's shop. Where's the troop? There's no troop, and the Guru has us. We right walked into it. You mean to tell me you didn't bring the troop? What a brain! I round up every Thug in India, and you mess it up with that pygmy brain! I couldn't face my own men if I brought them to witness your shame... disgracing Her Majesty's uniform. Shame? They're doing this to me to find out where the column is. They plan to ambush and massacre the Colonel and the whole troop. - You didn't tell them, did you? - Not me. So I suppose you think you're a hero? - That's right. - A hero. Don't make me laugh. Every man at the post looking for these blighters... and I reconnoiter adroitly and encounter them... while you cowards hide behind your telegraph poles in Tantrapur. Who's a coward? - Untie him, will you? - Yes. Untie me. I said untie him! Sgt. Ballantine, untie that man! You displease me greatly, and I ignore the both of you. - I'll untie him myself. - Yes, that's right. Only one hand, that's all I need at you. Just one hand. - Hurry up about it. - I'll take all day, if you order me around. I owe you one, anyway. Mate, look at your back. - Never mind that. Untie my hands. - Just look what they did to you. I'm sorry, mate. The fiends! - The Guru. - Filthy scum. - Dog. - Maniac. - Let's get him. - Here we go. Grab him regardless how many are with him. It's our only chance. He's sacred, so they won't shoot us. Why, you hairless dog. Look what you did to that man's back, you filthy... A lesson in the error of false pride, Sergeant. You're talking very proudly yourself. Perhaps you're not too proud to give a little information I seek. - I want to know about your army. - Why don't you enlist, mate? Lash. For a beginning, this is not bad. Three soldiers to be given to Mother Kali... three soldiers and a slave. - Who is slave? I am a soldier, too, please. - You're what? Regimental bhisti. Proud ox, where is your army? How soon are they to follow? Wouldn't you like to know? Why don't you look in your crystal ball? Make the ox talk. You dirty pack of cowards! Never mind him. Now. He's next. - I'm waiting. Will you speak? - I don't know. Hold on, Mac, old boy! Stop. Look. See them down there... coiling and wiggling, sticking their pretty tongues out? Are you going to speak? Throw him in. He'll talk from there. - No, I can't stand it! - Will you speak? All right. If I ain't kissed by one of them snakes, I'll tell you. Take me outside. - Be a man, Mac. - I can't go it, mates! Come back, Mac, old boy! - Well, Sergeant? - All right, guvnor. I don't know the exact position of the troops... but in Ballantine's pocket there's a paper with all the troop movements in it. - You're sure of that, Sergeant? - As sure as taxes, guvnor. - I wouldn't fool you. - I hope not. If you have, there'll be worse than lashes. Please don't lash me any more. I'll relieve you of these. Cut him down. "Sgt. Thomas Ballantine hereby reenlists." That's you, MacChesney, always hiding behind regulations... you Brummagem turncoat! Be gallant in defeat, Sergeant. You're simply a victim of superior strategy. Quiet, you Whitechapel scum, or I'll cut your slaggedy hands off at the wrist! - I'll pay you back with horrible interest! - I command you to shut up! Tell your men to lay down their arms and get out of here, or you're a dead kipper. Lay down your arms and leave. - Where do those stairs lead to? - Not to freedom. - We'll see about that. Ready? - Right. - Sgt. Cutter, guard that door. - Right. Mac, take your coat. Right. Get up. It's young Toad Face blazing up the Thugs. I'll start with him first. No, you won't. Gentlemen, what do you think of your freedom now? All right, my friend, if we've got to die, you've got to die, too. As long as I'm alive, you live. - What did he say? - He says he'll be unharmed. He says to keep order, be confident, and wait. Congratulations, Sergeant... on your knowledge of our humble language. That's enough. Get under the shade... before you get sunstroke. Go on. Get on back. Wounds feel satisfactory, sahib? I ain't had a more satisfactory set of welts since I ran away from home. - Thank you. - Fall in. Come on. - Get down. Look out. - Watch your head. - The gold! - Yes, sahib, gold! Look at it, mates! Gold! That's what it is! - Real solid sunshine! - Sit down, you fool! See that hand sticking out? I bet that little hand's worth £3,000 if it's worth a farthing! Who's a blinking idiot now? We're rich, mates. Come on! All right, Mr. Wise Man, here's my last offer. You order your men to get in behind them rocks... and you see us down as far as the bridge. We'll let you loose, and there's no harm done. How's that? Speak, you ape, or I'll kill you. You would throw away your shield, brave soldier? - Do you hear something, Bal? - The bagpipes, Mac? I've been hearing them for hours, but it isn't them. It's the blistering heat screaming in our ears... that makes it sound like it. They'll pull us out, old boy... if they can find the blasted place. Don't waste any of your guff on me, Mac. Here we are, and this is it. It might have been worse, though. I might have left a widow. Eight feet away from where I'm sitting, right here... there's enough gold to make me sole owner and proprietor... of a pub as big as the Crystal Palace. Best pub in Hampshire. And here I am. You torturer! Setting that in front of my eyes. Is there no limit to the torture an Oriental mind can think up? So help me, if you mention gold again, I'll tear the tongue out of your head. Here it is. Get it. Brave soldiers, can it be that your nerves are tightening? We can stand it up here as long as you can, Mr. Wise Man. Preserve your courage, gentlemen. You are not forgotten. They will come to save you. That's right, mate. You're going to see more soldiers than you ever saw before. Gentlemen, good news. Here's a sight that should make your hearts pound faster. Look. The Lancers. Look at the Black Watch out in front. Those beautiful Scotties. I'll buy them all a beer apiece. Your comrades' coming chokes you with emotions. Seeing them this way recalls to you all manner of pleasant things. The gaiety of barrack life, old friendships... even England... even home. You bet it does, mister. Save your voices, gentlemen. They're coming here to your rescue. You tormenting fiend. - You're so sure, aren't you? - Quite sure. It is my plan. Two come to rescue one... then the others follow. Lay it on me. Chicken and mung bean noodle salad. [Giggling] [Chuckling] "Mung beans." [Laughs] They do it to me every time. Well, I can't wait to see what the oyster sauce does. Oh, that's a really ancient reference. - Here. - [Sighs] Alex. What are you thinking? I don't wanna go home tonight. I think you probably have to. No. All I have to do is decide to pay the consequences. - And? - [Doorbell Buzzing] [Sighs] I'll be right there! Who is it? [Danny] Miss Elliot? Yes? Miss Karla Elliot? Yes. We're having wiring problems in the building. Do you mind if I come in and check your baseboard outlets? Are you kidding? 7:30 at night, and you're gonna take outlet inventory? Oh, well, if you're eating, I... I could come back later. It won't take but a few minutes... No, if you're gonna crawl around the floor and count little holes in the wall, come on in and get it over with. Come on. Okay. Who was that? [Chuckles] I don't know. He'll be gone in a minute. There you go. Thank you. Do it. That's good. Mmm. Ahh! [Whispering] I love you. I have always loved you. [Ticking] [Ticking Continues] Ya haven't got a warrant. You just want to get me in some kind of trouble. Mrs. Gower, a person may invite police officers into an apartment or residence... if that person has common right of entry, which you do, Mrs. Gower. You got any idea when he gets home, where he goes after work? Not on Thursday, but on Wednesdays and Fridays, he's got some kind of a meeting, 8:00. Sometimes after work he comes home, falls asleep. I knock on his door for him at 7.30. [Saperstein] What kind of meeting? Boy Scouts. Who knows? He's a quiet guy. No trouble at all. Saperstein. Yeah. Call the lieutenant. Tell him to get in touch with a Dr. Irene Benton at this hospital. I'm going down to Hudson Hardware, get the owner and go through the place. - Stake yourself out here. If Zucco shows, nail him. - Okay. Bobby. Danny first came here five months ago, Lieutenant. - And the bombings started about a month later. - But he's getting better in the group. In the beginning, the arguments, the violent emotions practically made him pass out. The others laughed at him, sympathized with him, attacked him. But they never excluded him, and that was the key. Danny's not half as afraid of emotions anymore. But he has got problems. Now, would you say that makes him a candidate for our bomber or not? What do you think, Doctor? I think you ought to question him on your own, Lieutenant. I got a better idea. - I think I'll join the group. - [Knocking, Door Opening] Oh, I'm sorry. Um, are you ready for us yet, Doctor? It's... It's a little after 8:00. Zucco work back here, Mr. Morgan? When he's not out delivering. Hey, come on. What's all this about? What about shotgun shells? Do you carry them? Well, years ago. Hey, maybe I still got a couple. You want me to take a look? No, no, no. We have our man coming down from Explosive, and he'll check it out. We'll just wait for him. You mind if I look around down here? No, go ahead. All right. Thank you. Here we go again. So Samuels calls me in his office today. You know what he wants? He wants to know if I'm interested in a promotion. Well, that's great. No! Now, wait a minute! You know what he really is interested in? - Well, not necessarily. - That's better than being totally ignored, isn't it? [Neva Shouting] Your problems and my problems are so far apart, we can't even talk to each other. Not anymore. What do you mean? - Well, neither of us has a husband now. - Wh-What did you say? Well, Danny, about ten minutes before I left to come down here, my husband called, and he wants a divorce. Aw, come... Come on. You don't have to worry about that. I mean, that's just talk. It's not gonna happen. [Louise] You're right. It's not going to happen, without one hell of a fight. Why isn't it gonna happen, Danny? - Hey, come on. We're talking. - Eh, what am I supposed to do, dig a hole? [Laughs] He got you there. They said that I should talk, you know, to give an expression to myself. Okay, maybe I'm a little bit pushy. But I can't keep talking if he's gonna keep shutting' me up! Doctor, l-I don't even want this guy in here. I mean, after all, we had the perfect family without him. "We had a family." Tell me about it. No. The family and the group are the same. Now, when I lost my son three months ago, these people were wonderful. Oh, I'm sorry to hear about that, Mr. Seymour. We've already been through that, Mr. Theodopilus. Don't take us backwards. Besides, it's... it's all right about your family now, isn't it? No, it's not all right! It'll never be all right. I had a great kid. He was gonna be a baker. Oh, I know, it's not much. [Louise Clicks Teeth, Heaves Long Sigh] But I set up everything for him. [Shouting] Now, listen! I've heard your garbage! Now you listen to mine! He hasn't heard it! All right. Anyway, I set up everything for him. On his high school graduation night, he... he got drunk... a little bit of the old man. And I swear to God, he did something I never understood. He enlisted. Can you imagine enlisting... in a day and age like this? He wanted to go his own way, I guess. Anyway, they sent him toJapan. They were gonna teach him this and that. Well, he never got toJapan! He only got to Okinawa! And he got into a fight! And he was killed in some town called Naha! - Where is Naha! - Oh, come on. Seymour, it's all right. That's all over and done with now, anyway. - He was all I had. - Mr. Seymour. Your son enlisted in the marines? Yeah. Yeah, it was the dumb marines. And you're a dumb person for stirring things up the first time you get around here. - You don't even belong here! - Hey! I got a few hang-ups of my own, you know! For example, what do you know about welfare? Anybody here ever been shafted by welfare? [Neva] Are you jiving me? I went through a trip with welfare last summer you wouldn't believe. My mother is 65, and she's sick in bed, right? So they ask her to come down for an interview. "Could you come down for an interview, please?" And they treated her like she... like she was stickin'her hand out, trying to steal their lousy money! - Man, you got a problem with welfare? I'm with you. - Hey, wait a minute! What is this welfare business, huh? The way you're dressed? [Laughs] What do you think we're stupid or something? We're-We're... We're getting put on here! [Seymour] You know something? He might be right. All right. Who the hell here has a grudge against a chick by the name of Alice Fisher? Hey, who are you, mister? And who in this group hates German cars, underground garages, advertising agencies? - And who hates welfare? - Please, Lieutenant. - And who hates marine recruiting officers? - [Dr. Benton] No, Lieutenant. Not here! - [Panicked Whimpering] - [Woman Screaming] [Kojak] Hold it, Zucco! [Screaming] Move! [Grunting] [Gunshot] [Bystanders Screaming] - [Woman Whimpering] - [Bystanders Muttering] It just went off. I didn't mean to. Zucco. Talk to me. [Man] He's dead. You have a phone call in my office. Don't give me that fishy look, Doctor. You just got a nicer job than we do. [Bystanders Chattering] [Walton] Plenty of shotgun shells and wire and a box for an alarm clock. There's a receipt for it. Alarm clock? Well, that didn't figure in the analysis of the last explosion. According to the receipt, he just bought it at the corner drugstore sometime today. But it's not here now. I'm gonna stick my neck out, Kojak. I think he made a bomb today, and it's not here. So you think he's got one ticking out there somewhere now... a time bomb? [Walton] Yeah. Yeah. Send Crocker up here with everything I ought to see. [Seymour] Then it's true. Danny's dead. Sure, he's dead. The big, bad copper didn't like what he said in here, so he plugged him. The big, bad cop didn't like what he said in here, and you wanna know why? Because he's been going around this city killing people. Now, if you have any plans, you better get on the phone right now and give your apologies. Because we got a long session coming out, trying to figure who's sitting on his last bomb at this very minute. Now, whether you know it or not, one of you three people has got the answer. Officer, none of these people are to leave the hospital until my men get here. And, Doctor, I want a complete record on this group. [Ticking] Candlelight, incense... and after-dinner drinks... Ahhh. I feel like a female Hugh Hefner. All right, Ms. Hefner. Why don't you just, um, put this in your pipe and, uh... - Smoke it? - Right on. [Giggles] Ooh! A sealed envelope from a lover by candlelight. Uh-huh. What is this? Tahiti? Brisbane? Kathmandu? I'll see your Kathmandu, and raise you a Cairo, Istanbul and Vienna. - When? - As soon as possible. [Laughing] [Phone Ringing] What do you think? Oh, terrific! Yes, we can make it to your villa this summer. - Is Alex here, Mrs. Linden? - Louise? - Hello. - Al, uh, look. I'm not trying to cause any trouble. I just want to tell you there's no point in you coming home tonight. The two of you can stay there... all night. I couldn't care less. Lieutenant, I've been trying to figure out how much time Zucco had to plant this bomb. Do you know what time he got here? He got here about 8:00. What time did he leave the store? He was still there at 5:30 before Mr. Morgan left. That only gives him about, uh, two and a half hours. That means this nut could've planted it anyplace... NewJersey, Riverdale, Staten Island! All right. Here. This is a list of addresses of these patients here. I want you to call Explosives. Check out all their houses, okay? Who knows, maybe one of these people got under Zucco's skin. Hey, it's possible, you know. We're not dealing with what you call a rational person. There really is no need to check us out, Lieutenant. He couldn't do it. He loved us. We're a family, right? Now, look. I don't want to disturb your group. But maybe tonight, somebody's gonna get blown up who's got a nice family going for him. Now, did this Zucco complain about anybody or you complain to him, where he might have set off with another bomb? Well, the only thing I talked to him about lately was baseball. I got him interested in the Mets, became their fan. Strange. He was never a fan before. How about you, Mrs. Holder? Anything mentioned about that divorce? No, nothing I can think of, nothing specific. And this Mr. Samuels, the guy who made a pass at you, did you complain in front of Daniel Zucco? Ye-Yes, Neva, last night, and-and he listened very carefully. - Yes, he did. - Where did this "Samuel" live? Oh, come on! Hey, look, young lady. It's 10:30. In a couple of hours, Daniel Zucco is gonna reach out of the grave and kill somebody. Now, I don't know what this Samuels did to you, but do you think he deserves to die for it? No. He's out in Rockville Center. So's the place where I work. From there to Midtown Manhattan, could it be done in less than two and a half hours? [Neva] Yeah, you could do it in that easy. - Crocker! - [Ticking] Go talk to her. [Sighs] Well, what does that mean? I mean, what am I supposed to tell her? That I feel a certain kind of love for her? That I feel a certain responsibility toward her? Well, I don't want to be in charge of an outpatient anymore. Honey, you will never know how hard I've worked on that relationship. - It's over. - Alex, for three years, I sat at a desk not 15 feet away from you... on the other side of a tiny wall that thick. I paid your bills. I balanced your checkbook. I mixed your drink. I apologized to your psychiatrist when you didn't wanna see him. And I lied to a whole lot of people who you didn't wanna talk to. And I also listened to your friends tell me what a great boss I had. As if I needed to hear that. Alex, I know you. I know what a good man you are. And I know how you've tried with Louise. I love you for that. All right. Now just tell me one thing. When you were up in that kitchen a while ago, chopping those vegetables, you were very happy. Yes. And why did it change after that telephone call? You called her before when I was up there in the kitchen, right? You don't get a divorce on the telephone! What difference does it make? It's over with! Now, wait a minute! [Sighs] I should've told her earlier. You wanna know why I didn't talk to her? I just wasn't sure how you'd react when I told you that I loved you. [Chuckles] Oh, no. You weren't sure how I'd react? - That's right. - Alex, what you decide with Louise... shouldn't be tied up with my reactions. Go and find her. Talk to her. Even if she hates you, she needs you. And when you've got that settled... Okay. All right. I'm not going to, uh, lose you, am I? [Chuckles] I'm not an account, honey. I'm a woman. [Ticking] That's right. Louis Samuels. Rockville Center. [Kojak] When you get home, the officers could keep you outside for a little while. And I may have to call you again, ask some more questions. Other than that, I'm terribly sorry for what happened. And thank you very much for putting up with me. Evacuate his house and the business if anybody's there. Right. Rockville Center. Right. Lieutenant, everything's in the works. [Sportscaster] ... a line drive headed for right field. Mike Lum is back to the wall. He can't get it. It's off the wall. Staub rounding first, headed for second. Lum gets it back in, and Rusty Staub has a double. It's 10 of 11:00. And the Mets are still playin'. I thought they were playing this afternoon? No, it was a twi-night doubleheader. What time did the first game end? I don't know for sure, but it couldn't have ended before 7:00. Lieutenant, I just remembered something. You asked about advertising earlier? About a month ago, Mrs. Holder specifically mentioned that her husband worked for some sort of agency. - Did you hear me? - Yes. Mr. Seymour! Mr. Seymour. Yeah? You told me that Danny watched the game tonight? Yeah. I took two bucks off him. [Chuckles] - Well, it was just a little bet. - Now, he watched it, just didn't listen to it on the radio? No, he watched it on TV all night. As a matter of fact, Jones made a great catch. We had an argument about whether it was over the fence or not. Yeah, he saw it. No doubt about that. If Zucco was watching the game on TV, there's no way he could've been on that train to Rockville Center. Mrs. Holder. What's she holding' back? Taxi! [Starts Engine] [Tires Screeching] [Ticking] [Ticking] Keep it, driver. What are you looking for, Mrs. Holder? Look, Lieutenant. I haven't done anything, and I don't have to say one word to you. - Yeah. - [Police Radio] Car 723, please respond. 723, go ahead. You are advised that no subject named Mrs. Louise Holder shows residency at 970 West End Avenue. 10-4. Now, let me see your driver's license. I don't have to. "Linden"? Linden, that's from the ad agency. What the hell's goin' on here? I have nothing to say. Crocker! You hold her down here, and you call the bomb squad! - [Ticking] - [Pounding] [Pounding Continues] [Kojak] Karla Elliot? Yes! Miss Elliot, open up! It's a police emergency! Open the door! Hurry up! Hurry up! Let me get my coat! Nothing personal, kid. Come on. [Crocker] Easy now! Easy! [Sirens Wailing In Distance] All right! Stand back! Now, look. If there's anyone in town that you wanna spend the night with, that officer over there will be very happy to take you. What are you doing here? - I knew. - You what? Alex, is he all right? He wasn't even here. He was out looking for you to help. - Thank you for my life. - Yeah, sure. At the end of the last century, on northern Europe's coasts, lived men who feared neither God nor the law. They lured ships towards the rocks where they were smashed to pieces. These men then plundered the wrecks. They were called wreckers. The captain is their leader. He is a brute. His strength gives him power over his henchmen. He has committed so many crimes that he's become almost mad. Villagers say he is haunted by the ghosts of his victims. His madness makes him dangerous and unpredictable. Le Bosco, cursed by all navies, the bad seed of any crew. He landed there dead-drunk from a foreign ship one night with his bag on his shoulder He follows the captain, but this sailor, never without his knife, dislikes taking orders. He bides his time like a vulture. He is false and crafty Paul. He, too, is a former sailor. He suffers the captain's orders, but grovels to Le Bosco. He will be on the winner's side. He is cruel and cowardly and has a worse temper than the others. He is the strongest, because each of the three thinks he is on his side Tina, the wrecker. The angel of the accursed Wild and perverted. This cruel animal is always ready. to snap up the innocent who come too close to her she-wolf jaws. She will show no pity. It's a game for her to plunder wrecks and kill survivors. More than one dead man, his throat cut, takes with hirn the image of her magnificently shameless naked body. THE DEMONIACS Help. Help. Help. Help! Something wrong, Captain? Leave me alone - Hey, clear off, you drunk. - Get lost. Now what's the matter? Have you gone mad? There. A moment ago. Didn't you see anything? Here? I'm the only one here. Are you afraid of ghosts, Captain? I I thought I saw something. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. Sounds like he saw a ghost. - Maybe there was a ghost. - Just for him? Yes. Just for him. Help! Bring us some drinks. - A ship has been wrecked on the rocks. - A ship? When? Only a few hours ago. How do you know? I Were you there? It was tricked by lights guiding it into the rocks. - To cause a shipwreck? On purpose? - Of course it was on purpose. Shut up. You know very well there are no wreckers anymore. Who knows? The tide may have washed up the bodies. I asked you if you were there. - What about you? Were you there? - Me? No. I was herel So, why have you got blood on your shirt? You're crazy. There's nothing there. God curse the wreckers! The sun is rising over the shore! A sad and gray day! The tide is out! I can see two small figures. They are getting up! - They start walking. - That's enough! - Shut up! - They are still weak. They support each other and stagger forward. Be warned. If they discover the secret of this cursed village, nothing will stop them from taking revenge. Let the ghosts come. I'm not afraid of anyone. Let them come and see the captain! God or devil. Come and have your throats slit. Come on, then. Come on, ghosts. Come on, phantoms. Come on, demons. Come back and see the captain. I challenge you. You died tonight. I will kill you again! We have to shut him up or he'll tell them everything. He's drunk I saw your heads smashed against the rocks! What the hell is going on? I don't want any trouble here It's morning. We're closing now. Finish your drinks and go. It happened one windy night It happened one stormy night Crashed on the rocks, a stray ship Leaves two beautiful innocent girls A celebration of beauty Some accursed men were wandering about Full of wine and alcohol They plundered the wrecks at night Innocence destroyed by rape A celebration of beauty I should've killed that bastard. - What are you going on about, Louise? - It's only a song, Bosco. A story about wreckers. There are no wreckers nowadays. It's just a song. As long as it's just a song. I don't want to hear your damn song! It makes me sick! Bloody hell! There's a curse on this village. The demons are free. What did you see? Tell me! There were two ghosts. They were staggering about. Pale and covered in blood, with crazed eyes. - There were two women. - Where did you see them? Over there, by the ship cemetery, near the haunted ruins. Come with me, you two. Hurry The devil has been set free! God help us. He has been imprisoned in the ruins for centuries. Now he is free. Misfortune is upon us! I can sense that he's still in the ruins! Maybe now his long wait will be over. They're here. We must drive them out. They won't come out alive! - What if they are ghosts? - There are no ghosts. That's enough. If they are alive, they must be exhausted. We'll easily catch them. - We must try to capture them alive. - Why? I want to finish them off. Over here. I can see them. Give me that. Stupid bitches. - They've gone. - They're in one of the wrecks. We can't search all the wrecksl Did you see anything, Bosco? I haven't seen them. They must still be here. - We must wait until daybreak. - We'll find them eventually. I know how to drive them out. Paul, bring your lamp. Come here, all of you. Le Bosco has an idea. You come down too! - Hurry up. - Let's go. - What are you going to do? - I'm going to burn them. Give me your lantern. Stay here and tell me if you see them. Bosco! Tina? Bosco! Captain! Come on, we have to find Tina! There they are! There they are! They're heading for the ruins. The cursed ruins. You mustn't go there. Let me go! Look! They're over here! Captain! Bosco! They're over here with me. Come back. Don't go over there! Stop! Don't go over there! Come back! - Tina! - Follow me. Come on. - Come on. - Don't go there! Let go of me. Let me go. Leave me. Don't touch me! Leave me alone. I want to get them. I want to kill them! For God's sake, let me kill them! Let go of me. Don't go there! Come back here. It's high tide. You'll be caught in the seaweed. You'll be killed. You crazy? Don't go to the ruins. Come back! They were in the marshes. They are wounded. Let me take care of them. - I'll look after them. - All right. You knew the risk you were taking bringing them here. It's too late now. Look after them so they can rest. I'll speak to them afterwards. I know you are there! You saw them! They can set you free if they wish. But you're the one who has to wait! They have to come of their own free will. I've seen how pure they are. How innocent they are! I won't intervene, but I beg you to spare them! So be it. Let destiny be fulfilled! Don't you want to play, Madame Louise? Last night ended in tragedy. - What happened? - There was a shipwreck. And the captain thought he saw the ghosts. Le Bosco was also acting strangely - And at dawn - What happened at dawn? They were in the marshes near the haunted ruins at dawn. And now - There they are. How do you know all of this? I just know. What if they're still alive? For God's sake, shut up The captain has shut himself in his house. He's afraid. You're all crazy! You know what's hidden away in the ruins. If they made it there Two girls. Wounded and exhausted! I think they must have drowned! I hope so If they are hiding in the ruins and they free Don't mention his name! We don't really know what's hiding in the ruins. Yeah. But if they manage to get that far... what will happen? All I know is that no one has been there for at least a century. Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about. - Do you understand? - Help! Stop it! That's enough from you. Come here with me instead. With you? All right. They can no longer speak! We have to help them. You're the only one who can help them. I will save you. I will give you back peace. You needn't be afraid of us. The ludicrous costume helps keep the villagers away from the ruins. As for me, I'm the keeper of this tomb. Try to tell me how I can assist you. Revenge. You are free to take your revenge The one supposed to be in this tomb is trapped somewhere in these ruins. He can only be liberated by innocent hands, by victims of evil. Tonight he will call you. He knows you are here. It's up to you whether or not you want to set him free. Only he can give you the means to take revenge and find peace again. But he's a black angel, a demon wearing a habit. If you set him free, you will also release his dark forces which have been locked away for a century now. The entity imprisoned in these ruins can be very dangerous. Right now he's possessed. Evil lives within him. The one behind the door is two-faced! You can find peace there, or death It's up to you now. You can expect him to call you tonight. Stop fidgeting. I know they will return. Until I touch their corpses with my own hands, I won't believe they are dead! Where do you expect them to be? They're dead, I tell you. It's as if I can see them. I can feel them watching me. Their spirit is searching my head to find me. Their hatred won't leave me! I know theywill return. They can think of nothing else but me. They're looking for me in order to take their revenge. Dead or alive, I know they will be back. I know they will be back. I saw them in the tavern! They were covered in blood. They were watching me. You don't care, do you? You weren't there. You don't believe in ghosts! You're nothing but a trollop. No. No, you can't make me forget them. They will kill us! They came back from the dead... to tear us apart. Good for them if they are alive! I will kill them like wicked creatures. I want to strangle them. I want to feel their bones breaking between my fingers. I want to overpower them, drink their blood and wounds. I'll smash them with my heels and you'll be there to see it. There will be nothing left of them Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! I tell you I saw them, as clear as I see you now. The captain's gone completely crazy. He should be locked up. He's becoming dangerous. Everyone seems to know about it. News travels fast around here. People are staying indoors. - There's no way they can know. - We've said too much. There's that sailor who saw the girls in the ship cemetery. What about Louise, did she see anything? Louise? Yes, maybe. She has second sight. Tragedy is upon the village. Tonight he will be free! Who do you mean? The one who hides in the ruins. I can see him! He is waiting He is calling. I can see you! Open this door, so the devil's fury may be unleashed on this cursed land. Let the death of us all be the price of your life. Unleash all the forces of evil upon us! I will give you the power. Go on. That's it! Now open the door. Good. He is free! You came when I called to you. I am free and you will sacrifice your bodies to me. Come. You say nothing, but you speak to me with your minds. I will give you all my power, so that you may carry out your revenge. You may go. Now I am within you. You have all of my power until sunrise. Once the daylight comes, you will be just as weak as you were before. Go now. You only have a few hours to carry out your revenge. They're alive. I saw them. Poor things So, Louise, who did you see? Tell us what you know. I didn't see anyone. But I do know everything that happened. That's the way I am. I know things I have never seen! I've heard about your gift of second sight. Are they alive - They're alive. - Where are they? Right here. - No, Bosco! - Calm down! Captain, stop him! So there you are, my children. You are very much as I imagined. Yes, I've seen you before. Here, in my head. What's your name? You don't want to tell me! What about you? How old are you? I see. You're not very talkative! Are you hungry? Thirsty? Good that's a start! But I would like to hear the sound of your voice. Maybe you aren't able to speak! Is that it? Are you mute? Poor wretches, they are mute! Monique, bring them some grenadine. I understand. You have to leave. Let me look at you a while longer. I'm afraid I may never see you again. Listen, I would never betray you. You can always think of me as a friend! Are you afraid of those girls? Cowards. Coward You're running away. You're terrified. I'm not afraid of them. I'm going. I'll bring you back their heads. Where are they? - I'm not afraid. I want them. - They just left for the hills. Would you shut your mouth, bitch. Who asked you? Help me. Beware, the sailors were here. They were completely drunk. Save yourselves. There is nothing I can do. I have no more power left. Yes, I can save them by myself if you wait here until daybreak. You will keep them alive until then! My powers will leave you and return to me. I will save them. Yes, I know what will happen. You will be left powerless against your enemies. You will be quite defenseless. But they will live thanks to you. That's good. It's nearly dawn. Leave as soon as it's light. Try to save yourselves. They will live! Your revenge escapes you. In this crazy world. the only thing that might possibly be left for you is generosity. - Do they have to die? - In a short while. I would like to save them. They gave us their lives. Can't you help them? Nothing can save them now. No, I cannot leave the ruins. But their revenge will be carried out. The four pirates are condemned. They will perish. We will go to meet them! You will be too late. That doesn't matter. We've finally got you. You will die here! You little she-devils! No magic can save you this time. Stupid whores! Take advantage of them again! Tear it! More. Go on! Tear! Trash. Bitch. Here I go, slut. Hit the sluts! Blood! Oh, yes! It's gonna hurt. I'm gonna - I'm gonna - Hurts, doesn't it? Arching - You liked it? Stop it. Are you crazy? What are you doing? Are you insane? What have I done? They're going to drown. They're innocent. Innocent. Subtitles courtesy by yafi ORLANDO ENRAGED THIRD PART Olympia married Bireno, after Orlando saved him from Cymosco's clutches, but the vicissitudes of the poor countess are not finished. Her newly wedded husband leaves her and flees with the very young daughter of the killed king, who had become his spoil of war. There lies Olympia safe in greenwood shade Removed from noise, and for her tranquil breast (Knowing her lover was beside her laid) No further thoughts, no further cares molest, Olympia laps in slumber so profound, No sheltered bear or dormouse sleeps more sound. Thus in silence, without a cry we flee. Let us both loosen thence and put to sea. Now from her gilded wheels the frosty rhine Aurora upon earth beneath has flung; And the old woe, beside the tumbling brine, Lamenting, halcyons mournful descant sung; When I, 'twixt sleep and waking, ... make a strain, To reach my loved Bireno, ... but in vain. I no one find: and then my arm recall; I try again, yet no one find; I spread Both arms, now here, now there, and seek at all; Now either leg; but yet nothing instead. Alone in bed; I ope my eyes: in view Is nothing: I no more my widowed bed Will keep, but from the couch in fury spring, And headlong forth from the pavilion fling. I look around: the moon is shining bright. Nor, save the shore, is any thing in sight. I, at a distance, stretched by favouring gale, Thence see my cruel lord's departing sail. And I my raiment waving in my hand, Sign to the frigate to return to land. But the loud wind which, sweeping ocean, bears Faithless Bireno's sail across the deep, Bears off as well the shriek, and moan, and prayers Of sad myself, sorrowing on the steep. And now? What can be done? Alone, betrayed... Who will console me, who afford me aid? So crying I my raven hair offend, And lock by lock the scattered tresses rend. Anxious to save Angelica, who has already been saved by Rogero, Orlando arrives at Ebuda's island. To Ebuda's isle I pursue my quest, Where all those who live are the cruellest. I approach to the naked rock as near As my own hand may serve to cast a stone, I know not if I hear, or do not hear A cry, so faint and feeble is the moan. Naked as born, bound to a stump, I see A dame whose feet are wetted by the sea. Because she distant is, and evermore Holds down her face, I ill can her discern: Both sculls I pull amain, and near the shore, With keen desire more certain news to learn: But now the winding beach is heard to roar, And wood and cave the mighty noise return; The billows swell, and, lo! the beast has pressed! Who nigh conceals the sea beneath his breast. Now, for I will the damsel's harm forfend, And will with that assail the beast at hand, Between her and the orc the boat I send, Leaving within the sheath my idle brand, Anchor and cable next I take in hold, And wait the foe with constant heart and bold. The prop so placed, I am made now secure That the fell beast his mouth no more can close, Wield the anchor, and in that cave obscure, Deal here and there, now thrusts, now trenchant blows. Now floats the monstrous beast, o'ercome with pain, Whose scaly flanks upon the waves expand; And now descends into the deepest main, Scowers at the bottom, and stirs up the sand. I leave the anchor fastened in his tongue, And grasp the rope which from the anchor hung. So swimming till the island is attained, With this towards the rock my route speeds: I haul the anchor home (a footing gained), Pricked by whose double fluke, the monster bleeds. The labouring orc to follow is constrained, Dragged by my force which every force exceeds; Which at a single sally more achieves Than at ten turns the circling windlass heaves. For the orc too late, brothers, we have come To witness that strange fight and but in vain. For the orc too late, brothers, we have come, But not for him who did the work profane; May so from heart to heart my fury spread, Which in the waves will doom the godless dead. I, islanders, your rout which threatens death, Have power to scatter at a single breath: I, Orlando, from head to foot, a skin More hard than diamond have. A Paladin! The naked rock my boat presently nears, Where she was placed, to feed the monster spread. I look, and known to me the dame appears, And more appears, when nigher her I head: Olympia she appears, and is indeed Olympia! Angelica's not my meed. But I, naked, to the warrior say naught, Drop my head and to raise my eyes dare not. Speak, Olympia. What evil destiny You to this cruel island has conveyed From where you in as much felicity Were with Bireno left as could be said: Narrating all to you, I should exceed. How my false spouse betrayed me as I lay Asleep, and how of pirates made the prize, They bore me from the desert isle away. And now I deliver you from your chains. Oberto comes; I'm Oberto, who reigns O'er Ireland's people, who has understood How lifeless lay the monster of the flood; I doff my casque, press to welcome my guest, Count Orlando, and clasp thee to my breast. Cease now, my fair sir, from the sweet embrace. This is Olympia whom from death I saved, Victim of foul treachery and disgrace, And abandoned by a husband depraved. Olympia, hast beauties of those most rare, Nor is the forehead's beauteous curve alone Excellent, and her eyes and cheeks and hair, Mouth, nose, and throat, and shoulders; but, so down Descending, lady, from thy bosom fair, Parts which are wont to be concealed by gown, Are such, as haply should be placed before Whate'er this ample world contains in store. I'm Ireland's king and fired, I well conclude, Nor hid the flame that I within me bear. I strive to comfort thee, and hope instill, That future good shall end thy present ill. To see Oberto's love kindled by dame Olympia, I am very much content; Not for Olympia thither have I made, But, were my lady there, to lend her aid. I do take thee to wife, Olympia fair, And thee of countess make a puissant queen. But now to Orlando who from our care, Leaves, let's bid good luck on the billows green. And hence we shall go now towards Ireland, Whither hymen and love to sail command. From hence now to France, where my passage lies. Farewell, thou Paladin, with thankful cries. This while round Paris-walls the leaguer lay Of Agramant's, Troyano's son's, strong band, Perhaps the Roman empire with dismay So great will fall into the foeman's hand; Perhaps will perish by the Moorish lance The holy empire and great name of France. I, Charles, to my displeasure, have long weighed That my nephew Orlando left at night, When most I lack his presence and his aid; Nor can I curb my choler at the flight. Charles, to Paris the Afric king's pursuit, Is now bent and to sap and siege her wall. And what may best annoy the foes, and suit For safety, without more delay forestall. Send thou an embassy to England, thence To gather fresher forces for defence. For thou oughtest again to try the fate Of arms in tented field, though lately shamed; I'll send Rinaldo to the neighbouring state Of Britain, which was after England named. The Saracen lines having crossed with speed, In Calais I'll embark myself and steed. I won't, Orlando's faithful Brandimart, Who love him as myself, behind him stay; Rather to bring him back I in my heart Hope, and of him ill brook injurious say: In quest of Orlando I will depart, At fall of eve, from Paris, on my way. Let now here all the Saracen array, Gather from the hamlets around the plain. To give to each his head and order due, The ample camp I muster in review. And lo, I bring the warlike host of Spain In fair review before King Agramant. I, Soridan, come with my martial train, Who may almost a giant's stature vaunt; Marsilio with the men of Setta ride; The Nasamonians troop with Pulian. And faithful Sobrino take to thy side, Who from far away brings many a man. Rodomont, of Sarza, king of Algiers, For thy glory, Agramant, I anew Brought up a band of foot and cavaliers. A new-made king after me comes behind. Dardinello is my name, which is signed. The fierce Mandricardo, king of the Tartars, is also moving towards Paris. But while on the road, he runs into Doralice's procession, Rodomont's fiancée, bound to reach her cavalier in the city under siege. Where the deep stream is fordable, I've scanned A crowd of cavaliers that armour bear: Ye, all! I do now question: who hath manned, With such a troop, and to what end, the square? In charge, I say, we of the daughter go Of him our king, who fills Granada's throne, Espoused by Rodomont of Sarza, oh! And we shall bring her where her father keeps In the Spanish camp; meanwhile the lady sleeps. This Doralice, by what I hear, is fair. Fain would I now be certified, how fair: Then me to her, or her to me convey, For I must quickly wend another way. Thou needs art raving mad, of mind awry. Wilt thou perhaps my rightful road deny? He's foul with blood, I mark his felon cheer; I raise piercing shrieks to the sky in fear. Oh, Doralice.. When that fair face now so close before me I see, which has no paragon in Spain, I know not if in heaven or earth I be; Is twisted Love's inextricable chain. Mandricardo's sweet words, which flow with art, Love frames and dictates to the Tartar knight. They sweetly tend to cheer my afflicted heart. I am already less disturbed with fright. By these, fear first is laid, and next the smart Sheathed of that woe, which had nigh pierced my sprite; And with more patience now I feel I can Him hear, and my new lover's reasons scan. I say, how woe-begone will be thy sire, When he the miserable case shall hear! What grief will be the bridegroom's! What his ire! How dread the vengeance of that cavalier! I, dames, maids, ancient men, and others, who Have from Granada with the damsel fared, Kindly dismiss, your journey to pursue; I say, my care suffices; I of guard Of guide, of handmaid will the office do, To serve her in her every need prepared. I, Charlemagne, by priest and friar black, gray And white, bid celebrate mass-rite and prayer; And the folk within Paris, everywhere I bid confess their sins, a fair array, Communicate in such fashions, all, As if they were the ensuing day to fall. The larum-bells, loud-sounding through the air, Stricken with frequent blows, the town affray; And in the crowded temples everywhere Movement of lips and hands upraised to pray. And now with folded hands and face supine, I say: O Lord! although my sins be grave, Permit not, that, in this their utmost need, Thy people suffer for their king's misdeed! That thou art without power, the foe will cry, Because thou lett'st thy faithful people die. From behind me, let all ye paynims stun Fair France with hostile din and angry cry, In this very day, I, Troyano's son The holy empire in my wrath defy. And boastful Africa, with vengeful doom, Gives Paris to the flames, and levels Rome. For the assault let now our strong band form; We will ourselves go forth with them that storm. Here may you paladin and baron ken, King, duke, and marquis, count and chivalry, And soldier, foreigner or citizen, Ready for honour and for Christ to die; We, eager to assail the Saracen, On thee, Sire, to lower the bridges cry. Let the paladins break the Saracen! I do witness with joy your martial heat, But to permit your sally deem not meet. And you I order in convenient post, The advance of the barbarians to impede: For this would ill suffice a numerous host, To that I am content that few should speed. Some work at the machines, some wild-fire tost, All range according to the separate need. I, never in one place, with restless care Provide defence and succour everywhere. Into the medley pricks King Agramant, Desirous there his bloody course to run; And next so many more of little vaunt, Whose blood will form a lake ere day be done. Filling, as they advance, with noise and shout, Fast hurries to the storm the Moorish rout. Let us by St. John's and St. Denys' aid, Rush to free Paris from harm and blockade, Proud and untamed Rodomont has come here. He in a cuirass, hard and strong, is drest; Of those who turn about to fly in fear One Christian's head he cleaves, and other's breast. Here cruel Rodomont of Argier slays Or smites the wretched laggard who delays. With proud barbarian boast, all assay To mount the wall; but others to assure Yourselves, some safer passage seek, where may You have least pain and peril to endure. The Christians with sword, axe, and wild-fire tost, The assaulted city guard without dismay And little reck the proud barbarian's boast. I, Rodomont, do scorn by any way To wend, except by what is least secure; And in that desperate case, where others pay Their offerings, curse the god to whom they pray. I, paynim, safe in buckler lifted high, Scorn not the wall alone, but brave the sky. I now of this, now that, the mantle shear; As though of pewter, not of iron beat Or rather of soft rind their arms had been: So matchless is my force and sword so keen! I drop the shield; and with two-handed sway Wielding my sword, duke Arnulph I offend. No better than the sulphur keeps away The advancing flame, I my life defend. He his last shudder gives, and tumbles dead; Cleft downwards, a full palm from neck and head. I do the Mars of Africa now see, King Rodomont, fiercest of all her sons, That through the middle of the city runs. At one back-stroke sir Spineloccio true, Anselmo, Prando, and Oldrado fell; The narrow place and thickly-swarming crew Make my wide-circling blow so fully tell. Nor grant I grace, to servant or to lord; And saint and sinner feel alike my sword. Lewis the Provencal is cleft in two; Arnold of Thoulouse through the breast before; Hubert of Tours, sir Dionysius, Hugh, And Claud, pour forth their ghosts in reeking gore. A fiend from air to-day has dropt, that none Henceforth may in this city make their won. Religion cannot for thee, priest, bespeak Mercy, nor innocence avail the child: Nor gently beaming eyes, nor vermeil cheek, Protect the blooming dame or damsel mild. I Show my valour more than cruel rage, Heedless alike of order, sex, and age. Some wrath in human blood is placated. I fire fair houses, and sacrated fanes. I will bring ruin on all unabated. Satan (in sooth, it can no other be) Destroys and ruins the unhappy town. Turn, and the curling wreaths of vapour see, From the red flames which wander up and down; And on the bosom, flanks, and on the front, We'll smite together at King Rodomont. I all the while, in my extremity, Find that my breath comes thicker than before; And see I cannot pierce the hostile round, Unless I thence escape while strong and sound. And I, with better counsel, from the side Cast myself down into Seine's foaming tide. While the king of Algiers, amid the rout, So wars with fire and sword, strong at his post, Let us their proud gates finally knock out; Let the land be sacked of the Christian host. As the aspect of the paladin of France, Rinaldo, the Moorish betray their fear; And, trembling in their hands, is seen the lance, Their thighs and stirrups quivering, like the spear. English and Scots, you should thanksgiving yield, With lifted hands, to God, who brought you here; Through whom, o'er every nation, you may gain Eternal glory, bought with little pain. And, if in this fair enterprise arrayed, No gain, no glory served you as a guide, A common debt enjoins you mutual aid, Militant here upon one Church's side. I range my troops anew: some warriors went To strengthen feeble posts which succours claim; The rest against the Saracens are sent, To give the foe checkmate and end the game. When now across the stream, without the wall, I turn, and see the royal town appear, To have traversed all the city moves my ire, Leaving it undestroyed by sword or fire; Rodomont, listen to me, Rodomont! Know that I am the courier of thy dame, I all my rage extinguish, clear my front, And feel my courage brighten into flame. O dwarf, to my inquiry answer now: How fares our lady? Wither sent art thou? Nor mine nor thine that lady will I say, Who is another's thrall and by his side. We, on our road, encountered yesterday A knight, who seized and bore away the bride. As tiger rages, who in vain descends Into her den, and finds herself alone, And, circling all the cavern, comprehends, At last, that her beloved young are gone; To ire, to rage like hers my wrath extends: Nor night I now regard, nor rock, nor stone, Nor stream, nor length of way nor storm suppress The speed with which I on the plunderer press. So raging for the news that the dwarf bore, I hurry with such speed, that not with more The lizard darts at noon across the way. The king falls on the rear guard of the foe Where bold Marsilius halts the flower of Spain, And forms the host, his royal flag below, With Valour and with Fortune for his guide, Charges, and breaks, and routs on every side. O ye Christians, come with holy fury The Saracen host to assail and fight. And with loud clamours, which Heaven's concave fill, Send through the paynim's bones a deadly chill. On these king Charlemagne impels his train, Who, foot with horse to flank, against them go. While so the deafening drum and trumpet sounds, 'Twould seem the spacious world the din rebounds. O valiant men, O companions, arise! O brethren, stand, and yet your place maintain; What this day Fortune offers to our eyes, If now we conquer, see the praise, the gain! If conquered, see the utter loss and shame Which will for ever wait upon your name! Dardinel now with reproach moves, and tries What best he deems their courage may restore. For sake of my green youth, I pray you stand, That youth whereon your hopes were wont to feed, And suffer not that, scattered by the brand, To Africa be lost our noble seed. Save you united go, be sure the land Is shut against you, wheresoe'er you speed. Too high a wall to climb is mountain-steep, The yawning sea a ditch too wide to leap. Since vain is every other remedy, Wait, friends, for love of Heaven, the advancing shoal: They are not gifted with more lives than we; Have but one pair of hands, have but one soul. Better it were, I say, to overthrow This evil plant, before it shoot and grow. Have thou no hope to make me fly, or yield To thee my quarters, though a child I be; This as it may! Shall none, in fighting field, Say that I ever shamed my ancestry. So said, and grasping in my hand the sword, I rush to assail thee, Mount Alban's lord. As languishes the flower of purple hue, Which levelled by the passing ploughshare lies; Or as the poppy, overcharged with dew, In garden droops its head in piteous wise: From life the leader of Zumara's crew So past, his visage losing all its dyes. I, Charles, return no more within the town, But camp without the city, opposite The Moor's cantonments, and bid up and down, And round, high-piled and frequent watch-fires light. That livelong night the foes, throughout their tents, As insecure and with their scathe deprest, Poured tears, and uttered murmurs and laments; One grief for slaughtered friends or kindred vents; Some are by sorrows of their own distrest, As wounded or as ill at ease; but more Tremble at mischief which they deem in store. I think of Dardinel, o Cloridane, I cannot tell thee what a cause of woe It is to me, my lord upon the plain Should lie, unworthy food for wolf or crow! That he may lack not sepulture, will I Go forth, and seek him out among the slain; Stay! That, if my death be writ in the sky, Thou may'st the deed be able to explain. I'm amazed, Medoro, a child should show Such heart, such love, and such fair loyalty; And fain will I make thee thy thought forego, Whom I hold passing dear and doubtlessly. Cloridan, I'm disposed to meet my doom, Or to enclose his master in the tomb. Seeing that nought will bend thee, nought will move, I too will go, Medoro, I reply, In such a glorious act myself will prove; As well such famous death I cover, I: What other thing is left me, here above, Deprived of thee, Medoro mine? To die With thee in arms is better, on the plain, Than afterwards of grief, should'st thou be slain. Let us go where, 'mid bow and falchion, lay, Wealthy and poor, the king and vassal's corse, And overthrown the rider and his horse. O moon, O goddess! Whom our fathers well Have styled as of a triple form, and who Show where my king, amid so many lies. The silvery splendor glistens yet more clear, There where renowned Almontes' son lies dead. Faithful Medoro mourns his master dear, Who well agnizes the quartering white and red. Let the king be upon our shoulders stowed; And so between ourselves divide the load. I, Zerbino, Moors' bane, my homeward way Am taking to the camp at dawn of day. Brother, behoves us, o young Medoro, To cast away the load we bear, and fly: For 'twere a foolish thought (might well be said) To lose two living men, to save one dead: The closest path, amid the forest gray, To save myself, pursue I, youth forlorn; But that sore weight upon my shoulders delay Is to me who hide in sheltering thorn. A hundred horsemen who the youth surround, Zerbino leads, and bids his followers seize. Medoro, I to aid thee know not how, And with thee, o friend, willingly would die, But I would not for death this being forego, Until more foes than one should lifeless lie. His feathered weapon bores my esquire's brain, And lays the warrior dead upon the plain. Together, let us who are of the band Turn thither, whence was shot the murderous reed; Meanwhile I launch another from my stand, That a new foe may by the weapon bleed, I can't at this sad sight my wrath refrain; Youth, I say, thou of this shalt bear the pain. One hand I in his locks of golden ore Enwreath, and drag him to myself amain; But, as my eyes thy beauteous face survey, Take pity on thee, boy, and do not slay. To thee, I do now turn, with suppliant cry, And, "By thy God, sir knight," I say, "I pray, Be not so passing cruel, nor deny That I in earth my honoured king may lay: Thou art the author of a foul emprize. Not unavenged shall it remain, no guise. And I now who behold the deed, at sight Of young Medoro's fall, spring forth to fight; And feeling I the sword no more can guide, Let myself drop by my Medoro's side. By what appeared to me the meetest way, Lonely and ill-content I eastward pressed; Ofttimes concealed, sometimes in face of day, As seemed most opportune and pleased me best. When I see down there that a stripling lies, Nigh hurt to death in that disastrous fray, I feel new pity in my bosom rise, Which makes its entry in unwonted way. I recollects a herb had caught my sight In passing hither, on a pleasant plain, Which can stop blood forth-welling, and has might To sheathe each perilous and piercing pain. Hear, I am Medoro. I will bury First in the earth my lord and Cloridan Next to the king and then no more tarry But go whither thou wilt who, with desire, By little and by little warmed, takest fire. Yea, my young friend. But I a sorer smart Than thine, Medoro, suffered at my heart. A wound far wider and which deeper lies, Now in my heart I feel, from viewless bow; Which from the thy fair hair and beauteous eyes Had the winged archer dealt: a sudden glow I feel, and still the flames increasing rise; Yet less I heed my own than other's woe: My ill but festers and increases the more Medoro's wounds are seen to heal and close: And thou growest lusty, while I suffer sore, Feel, with new fever parched, now burnt, now froze: Unseasonable flake, which melts away Exposed, in sunny place, to scorching ray. I beg thee, haply an unwitting foe, To sheathe the suffering of that cruel blow. To pluck, as yet untouched, the virgin rose, Now I do permit to thee, young Medore. Let's holy ceremonies interpose, Some deal to veil, to gild the matter o'er. Young Love be bridesman here the tie to bless, And for brideswoman stand the shepherdess. Amid such pleasures, where, with tree o'ergrown, Runs stream, or bubbling fountain's wave doth spin, On bark or rock, if yielding be the stone, The knife is straight at work or ready pin. And there, without, in thousand places lone, MEDORO and ANGELICA are traced, In divers cyphers quaintly interlaced. Where often in the hottest noon of day We two have rested, locked in fond embrace. Within the grotto, and without it, they Will see more than in any other place With charcoal or with chalk our names portrayed, Or flourished with the knife's indenting blade. END OF THE THIRD PART Subtitles adapted from the translation of William Stewart Rose Come on, beautiful! Open up! Ursula, you're my dream girl. I've been dreaming about you for months. My name's not Ursula. What is it? Suzanne. How old are you? I don't know. Have any kids? Why not? Ursula, be mine! Only three bucks! Damn bitch! Always suspicious. Always messing around. I'm getting fed up. Got any bright ideas? I might if I had some bread. Hold on. Whas up? An idea. What? Is staring you in the face. Is still warm. Don't start in again. Feels good, doesn't it? How's that for a smooth ride? Hydraulic suspension. Come on, don't crap your pants. Want some toilet paper? He'll get his wheels back. Don't worry. Right where he left them. He'll never press charges. "Beauty Salon" Well... What do you know? Don't you feel stupid? Dangerous characters. Not bad, huh? You can't get any? Like a little feel? Hands up. And fast! Tough luck, boys. I'm trying out my new gun. Is my third car stolen this year. I'm a little fed up. Get it? We didn't steal it. We just borrowed it. We returned it, didn't we? Here it is. It never even moved. Tell that to the cops. Go call them. No, wait! Why bother the cops? We didn't hurt anyone. We just went for a ride. Just killing time like we were hitch-hiking and you picked us up. You weren't around. Thas all. Is no big deal. We just used up a little gas. Look, not a scratch oh, the starter needs adjusting. If you want me to fix it, I've got a screwdriver. Go ahead... Listen to their sob story. You'll cry your heart out. Wait... listen. I said hands up. Hey, Carnoles! Need the police? I'll call them. Wait... There's something you ought to know... We had a run-in recently in a five-and-dime store. So we're kind of on parole. Next time is jail. We don't want to go to jail, sir. Poor slobs. I'll put you in jail myself. Hey, how 'bout giving these hippies a haircut? We're in France, all right! Watch out! Jean-Claude! What? I'm all bloody. Get a doctor. What a mess! Whas going on? Have to get another car. Got any dough? Something better. You're not leaving me? Whas wrong? You don't like me? Endo, endocrinology, whas it mean? How should I know? Hurry up, is hurting worse! And "oto-rhino-laryngology?" I'm not a dictionary. Any doctor's OK. All I know is I'm pissing blood. He's hurt! You fix him up or I'll smash your head in. Get it? Abrasion of the left testicle. It took 3 stitches. The bullet missed the artery... He sure was lucky. We're always lucky. Incredibly lucky. The golden touch. Glad to hear it. I was worried about you. Don't worry, just hand over your dough. I don't have any on me I have to go to the bank. No kidding? I just used my last check. You're not putting me on? Just a thought... You can take a look. No, thanks. I'd rather make sure the kids are tucked in. They might have a nightmare and throw the covers off they could get a sore throat. Wait. Give them something, Bruno. Here... Is all I have. Your wallet, Bruno! You punk. Dirty little bastard! Whas with this chick? Just spreads her legs and stares at the ceiling... Son of a bitch! What are you complaining about? You got off, didn't you? Like screwing a piece of meat. Get up now. He needs to rest. Look at this dumb chick! No panties! Hurry up. I'd like to go now... Don't you like panties? You going to answer me or not? Look what your friend did to me. You should take it easy. What if I can't get it up again? Look, you bitch! You're going to be all right... Is not my fault! I didn't shoot you! I don't give a shit about his car. He your boyfriend? No, my boss. Does he lay you? If you think is fun... But why no panties? He won't let me. It turns him on. Even with your period? Lay off. Your papers! Whas your job? Shampoo girl. What kind of shampoo? Pubic hair? Or bald heads? I'd like to get some sleep. I have to work at 9. Shut up! Shut up! You hearing voices now? Guess what we'll do to him? Can you guess? - Jean-Claude? - Yeah? Listen to me. I'm listening... Since he's really hung up on his car les give it back. Real polite. We'll leave it at the side of the road. You with me? Yeah... Sure. Thas just for starters... The cops find it and the bastard gets it back. In tip-top shape. He drives off happy as a clam, whistling away only what he doesn't know is we've fiddled with his car. Unscrewed the front wheel. Is just hanging on by a thread and not for long... One day he's driving down a nice straight road going over a hundred smoking a manly cigarette a Marlboro... Then, all of a sudden... off comes the wheel... How's that grab you? Right on a curve... Trees all over! Absolutely! The bastard asked for it! You must be tired... Why don't you sit down? Since we'll probably never see you again we'd like to ask you for a favor. Come on... I'll be late to work. Well, les hear it... We'd like to touch you for good luck. OK, but make it quick! I don't want any trouble at work. I never heard about is being so lucky... Sure it is! Touching something dirty brings good luck. Like stepping in shit. You bastards! Sure you're in the right place, Sonny? Got one for me? Got a nice trim there around the ears... Watch out or I'll trim yours! Saturday haircut day? No, I work on Saturdays. Big shoplifting day. I catch dozens of punks like you. Thas wonderful. If everyone were that dedicated... Bet you're an ace at Blackjack... How'd you guess? I know you inside out. Lots of guys like you around. They stick to you like flies these days. Looking for trouble? No, just like a pair of jeans... Is my brother's birthday. Down there, on the right just past the television sets. I'll frisk you later. Hey, look! Must be your first paycheck! Not a chance. I met this rich lady... She's hooked on me! Ursula's very generous. Congratulations! You don't need that badge your hair tonic gives you away! You're lucky I'm in a good mood today. Me too. Life is beautiful. I'd almost like to touch you... If I touch you, you'll know it! You feel up the salesgirls? I'll throw you out on your ass. Understand! Little punk. We're not the same breed. Definitely not. I kind of like you, though... I know. Me too. I feel like getting closer to you. Too bad I'm in a hurry. I coulïve invited you to lunch. You little bastard! Isn't it nice here? When no one bugs us we're content with simple pleasures. Just like flies, always buzzing around our balls. Like we're indispensable. Everything falls apart without us. Don't go so fast! My balls hurt! Then stand up! I win the prize! Stupid ass... Damn! What a dumb way to get caught... He's still thirsty. Don't go away! Give little Jesus a drink. Here. Take it and give him a drink. Why? I don't want your money. Come on... Don't give us a hard time... Your tits really turn me on. I'm meeting my husband. He's in the Army. At Angelras. That so? Is cozier like this. Isn't this nice? What do you want? Not a thing... Can't a guy count his money? Your guy got a pass? Yes. When you'd see him last? Two months ago. Oh, boy! What a time you're going to have! Where'll you go? I don't know. A hotel... Here... Thas for you. What for? I'd like you to stay in the fanciest hotel in town. In the most expensive room. With a bathroom for your smelly boyfriend. Come all over a great big bed. Order champagne on a silver tray and drink it in bed. Sound good to you? Yes... But you have to earn it. How? I'd like you to nurse my buddy... He's an orphan and he loves milk... He'd enjoy it... Well, what do you think? Yeah... Go ahead... She's all yours. Whas wrong? No good? I can't get it up. Angelras! I have to get off now. He doesn't know what he's in for! We sure warmed her up! What about me? Why can't I get it up? The bastard! I sure hope he gets his... Right on a nice, sharp curve... Think he's got his car back? You're nuts! Not yet! What are cops for? Where's the fire? I can't wait! Hope he's on the accident list! Know anyone here? So why'd we come? Give me time to think! I'm not a computer! Just take it easy. Track 4, train number 1411... For Bridolle. All aboard... Close the doors, please. Whas the matter? What does "off season" mean to you? Thas the big question... Pretty bleak place... Isn't this comfy? Not even a lump of sugar! But there's lots of toilet paper super-soft. Interested? Isn't that touching... Daddy... Mommy... Jacqueline... Poor Jacqueline all alone with her folks. Thas Jackie's bed... Look what she left us... Isn't that cute? How old do you think she is? I don't know. Thirteen fourteen, at the most... No, she's much older. Much! At least sixteen... Take a whiff... Les see... You're right. Oh, my God... At least... A real young lady... Like she just took them off a minute ago. Jacqueline! Hey, Jacqueline! Jean-Claude. - Jean-Claude? - What? I don't have a hard-on! So what? Me neither. In whose honor should we get it up? I always wake up with one. You're probably too filthy... There's so much dirt id take a bulldozer to dig it out. Come on. It feels great... I can't. I'll start bleeding again. Well, how about your feet? We could clean them up a bit. Purify the air... You'll be all right... Stop worrying. Is all in your head and you're getting obsessed... Feels good, huh? Feel any lighter? You're real pretty! You're almost desirable... Hands off! What hands? Yours, faggot! Don't be ashamed... I'm not ashamed. I just don't want to. I don't want to... How do you know? If you've never tried it? Don't worry about anything, Frankie Five-Angels. Thanks, Tom. Thanks. -See you, Tom. ¤¤d¤¤ Frankie. kay. You have to go. -So pretty... -kay, please hurry. He's coming. Anthony. Kiss Mama goodbye. Anthony, kiss your mother goodbye! Anthony, say goodbye to Mama. Anthony. I love you, Anthony. kay, please. All right. Mary, come here. Anthony. Anthony, please. Kiss me once. Easy. Anthony! Anthony! -He's here, we're going fishing. -No! Michael wants to take him to Reno now. Shit! Okay, kid, you have to go to Reno with your pop. -I'll take you fishing tomorrow, okay? -Okay. Hey, Anthony. Listen, I'll catch one for you in secret. Let's go. -Mr Roth, I must take you into custody. -I understand. What's your reaction to the Israeli High Court ruling? I'm a retired investor on a pension. I went to Israel to live there as a Jew, in the twilight of my life. Hey, Frankie! Come on out, let's play some Hearts. Frankie! Is it tyue you're worth over 300 million dollars? I'm a retired investor, living on a pension. I came home to vote in the presidential election because they wouldn't give me an absentee ballot. Jesus Christ. Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women. Blessed is the ftuit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners. Hey! Everybody, pay attention. This is my ftiend Carlo Rizzi. -You know my brother Fredo. -Sure. This is my stepbrother Tom, and that's his girl Theresa. This cute little thing is my sister Connie. Say hello to Carlo. He's good-looking, isn't he? Yes. The droopy thing is Mike. We call him Joe College. Sit down. Talk to each other. Hey, Mr Einstein... -The cake. -Sally, get in here! -I was scared. -Come on. -Where's your father? -Christmas shopping. Let's see that thing. That's nice! -Should I put the candles on now? -Yeah. You help her, Carlo. -What is that? Rum? -Yeah. Don't touch the antipasto until Pop sees it. He's not ugly... What do you think of the nerve of those Japs? Bombing us on Pop's birthday. They didn't know it was Pop's birthday. Not surprising after the oil embargo. They've got no right dropping bombs! Are you a Jap-lover? -30,000 enlisted this morning. -Bunch of saps... -Why are they saps? -Let's not talk about the war. You talk to Carlo. Only saps risk their lives for styangers. -That's Pop talking. -You're right, that's Pop talking! -They risk their lives for their countyy. -Countyy isn't your blood. -I don't feel that way. -Then quit college andjoin the army! I did. I've enlisted in the Marines. -Why didn't you come to us? -What do you mean? -Pop managed to get you a deferment. -I didn't ask for it. I didn't want it. Come on! knock it o¤ -Punk! -Sonny, sit down. Mommy, Daddy's fighting again! Go and show Carlo the tyee. Nice. Break your father's heart on his birthday. That's swell, Mike. Congratulations. Don't encourage him! Get me a drink. Go on! You don't understand. Your father has plans for you. Many times he and I have talked about your future. You've talked to my father about my future? -My future. -Mikey, he has high hopes for you. -I have my own plans for my future. -Did you go to college to get stupid? He's here! Come on. Stupid! Surprise! ¤or he¤s a¤o¤ly good fe¤¤o¤ ¤or he¤s a¤o¤ly good fe¤¤o¤ That nobody can deny Nobody can deny... They've killed the boy! They've killed young Paolo! They've killed your son Paolo! Murderers! Murderers! My son... All my respect, Don Ciccio. You killed my husband because he wouldn't give in to you. And his oldest son Paolo because he swore revenge. But Vito is only nine. And dumb-witted. He never speaks. It's not his words I'm afraid of. He's weak. He couldn't hurt anyone. But when he grows, he'll grow strong. Don't worry. This little boy can't do a thing to you. When he's a man, he'll come for revenge. I beg you, Don Ciccio, spare my only son. He's all I have left. I swear to God he'll never do you any harm. Spare him! Vito, run! Move and I'll kill him! Run, Vito! Kill him! Any family who hides the boy Vito Andolini will regret it! You understand? Anybody who hides the boy Vito Andolini is in for trouble! Vito, we're praying for you! If anyone is hiding the boy Vito Andolini turn him over to us. Don Ciccio will thank you for it! It'll be better for the boy, and better for you! Any family who hides the boy Vito Andolini will regret it! Nurse. Money? Interpreter! Where are you from? -What is your name? -Maria. What is your name? Come on, son. What is your name? Vito Andolini from Corleone. Corleone. Vito Corleone. Okay, over there. Next. Tell him he has smallpox. Quarantine three months. Vito Corleone! Vito Corleone! Here he is. This is him. Did you bring the car keys? Laurie! Laurie! Mama! Mama! -Look who's here. -Father Carmelo. -This is Father Carmelo. -I'm Merle Johnson. Mama! -Here I am. -Constanzia, after one week? I sent the car to the airport last week to pick you up. It was chaos. Anyway, here I am, just one week late. This is for my mama! -What is this? -You remember Merle? Hello. How are you? Thank you. Where's Michael? I've got to talk to him and I can't wait on line. You go see your children first. Then you worry about waiting on line to see your brother. Like everybody else. Ladies and gentlemen... A most distinguished guest would like to say a few words. Please welcome Senator Pat Geary of the State of Nevada. And there is Mrs. Geary. Thank you very much. This is a very, very happy day for me and my wife Mrs. Geary. We see Nevada far too seldom. But today we can join with old friends, we can make new friends and we help celebrate a young man's first Communion. And also to thank that boy's family for a magnificent contribution to the State. I have here in my hand a check made out to the university and it is a magnificent endowment in the name of Anthony Vito Corleone. The check is signed by that young man's parents whom I think we should recognize. Mike, Pat, Kay, stand up, please. Let the folks see you! Folks, I want you to join me in giving a real Nevada thank you to Mr. and Mrs. Michael Corleone! We also have, as a special added attraction, the Sierra Boys Choir who have chosen a certain special song and a special arrangement to honor their host, Mr. Michael Corleone. Boys. The plaque. Okay, fellows, did you get that one? Okay, that's good. Now, Senator, just you and Mrs. Corleone. My lawyer Tom Hagen. Senator Geary. He arranged everything through your man Turnbull. -Yes, yes. -Sit down. I thought that you and I would talk alone. I trust these men with my life, Senator. To ask them to leave would be an insult. Well, it's perfectly all right with me but I am a blunt man and I intend to speak very frankly to you. Maybe more frankly than anyone in my position has ever talked to you before. The Corleone family has done well in Nevada. You own, or control, two major hotels in Vegas and one in Reno. The licenses were grandfathered in so there was no problem with the Gaming Commission. Now my sources tell me that you plan to make a move against the Tropigala. They tell me that within a week, you're going to move Klingman out. Quite an expansion. However, it will leave you with a little technical problem. The license will still be in Klingman's name. -Turnbull is a good man. -Yeah, well, let's cut out the bullshit. I don't want to spend more time here than I have to. You can have the license. The price is 250,000 dollars. Plus five per cent of the gross monthly of all four hotels, Mr. Corleone. The price for the license is less than 20,000 dollars, right? That's right. -Why would I pay more than that? -Because I intend to squeeze you. I don't like your kind of people. I don't like to see you come out to this clean country in oily hair dressed up in those silk suits and try to pass yourselves off as decent Americans. I'll do business with you, but the fact is that I despise your masquerade, the dishonest way you pose yourself and your whole fucking family. Senator, we're both part of the same hypocrisy. But never think it applies to my family. All right, all right. Some people have to play little games. You play yours. Let's say that you'll pay me because it's in your interest. I want your answer and the money by noon tomorrow. One more thing. Don't you contact me again, ever. From now on you deal with Turnbull. Open that door, son. Senator, you can have my answer now if you like. My offer is this... Nothing. Not even the fee for the gaming license, which I would like you to put up. Good afternoon, gentlemen. Ladies! I didn't know you were out here. -Honey, we have to go. -Really? I'm sorry. -It's been delightful. -It was our pleasure. It was wonderful talking to you. Fredo! Fredo, you son-of-a-bitch, you look great! Frank Pentangeli! I thought you was never coming out west, you big bum! I've got to check on my boys. -What's with the food here? -What's the matter? A kid gives me a Ritz cracker with chopped liver and says, "canapés". I said, "Can of peas, my ass. That's a Ritz cracker and chopped liver!" Bring out the peppers and sardines! Seeing you reminds me of New York in the old days! You remember Willi Cicci, who was with old man Clemenza in Brooklyn? We were all upset about that. Heart attack, huh? No, that was no heart attack. That's what I'm here to see your brother Mike about. -But what's with him? -What do you mean? Do I have to get a letter of introduction to get a sit-down? -You can't get in to see Mike? -He's got me waiting in a lobby! -Johnny Ola. -Al Neri. -Do you know my lawyer Tom Hagen? -I remember Tom from the old days. Rocco. -What's this? -It's an orange from Miami. Take care of Johnny's men. They look like they might be hungry. Johnny? Tom won't stay. He only handles specific areas of the business. Sure, Mike. -What are you drinking, Johnny? -Anisette. -If you need anything, I'll be outside. -Just tell Rocco we're waiting, Tom. -I just left Mr. Roth in Miami. -How is his health? It's not good. Can I do anything or send anything? He appreciates your concern, Michael, and your respect. That casino... Registered owners. Jacob Lawrence, Allan Barclay. Beverly Hills attorneys. The real owners are the old Lakeville Road group and our friend in Miami. Klingman runs it and owns a piece of it too, but I've been instructed to tell you that if you move him out, our friend in Miami will go along. It's very kind of him. Tell him it's greatly appreciated. Hyman Roth always makes money for his partners. One by one, our old friends are gone. Death, natural or not, prison, deported... Only Hyman Roth is left, because he always made money for his partners. I can't believe it! Out of 30 professional musicians there isn't one Italian! Let's have a tarantella! You! Up, up, up! Questa mano! Questa mano! What the hell have we here? -I'll see my sister alone. -It concerns me too. May I stay? How are you, honey? You've met Merle, he was with me in Vegas. -I saw him with you. -Could I have a drink? Al, please get him a drink! We're going to Europe. I'd like to book passage on The Queen. Why don't you go to a travel agent? We're getting married first. The ink on your divorce isn't dry yet, and you're getting married? You see your children on weekends. Your oldest boy was picked up in Reno for a theft you don't even know about. You fly around the world with men who use you! -You're not my father! -So why come to me? I need money. Connie, Connie, Connie... I want to be reasonable with you. Why don't you stay with the family? You can live on the estate with your kids. You won't be deprived of anything. I don't know this Merle. I don't know what he does or what he lives on. Tell him marriage is out of the question and you don't want to see him anymore. He'll understand, believe me. Connie. If you don't listen to me and marry this man, you'll disappoint me. -Famiglia! -Cent' anni! What's "Chen dannay"? "Cent' anni". It means 100 years. It means we should all live happily for 100 years. The family. -It would be true if my father were alive. -Connie. Hey... Merle, you've met my sister-in-law, Deanna. -Fredo's wife. -My pleasure. With all respect, I didn't come here to eat dinner! I know, I know. -I just want to dance! -You're falling all over the floor. You're justjealous because he's a real man! -I'm going to belt you right in the teeth. -You couldn't belt your mama! These Dagos are crazy when it comes to their wives. Michael says that if you can't take care of this, I have to. -I think you'd better. -Never marry a Wop. They treat their wives like shit! I didn't mean to say Wop. Don't! What are you doing to me, you big slob? Help! Fredo! -I can't control her, Mikey. -You're my brother, don't apologize. Clemenza promised the Rosato brothers three territories after he died. You took over and didn't give it to them. I welched. Clemenza promised them lu cazzo. He promised them nothing. -He hated them more than I do. -Frankie, they feel cheated. You're sitting up in the Sierra Mountains and you're drinking... -What's he drinking? -Champagne. Champagne cocktails, and passing judgment on how I run my family. Your family's still called Corleone. And you'll run it like a Corleone. My family doesn't eat here, doesn't eat in Las Vegas and doesn't eat in Miami with Hyman Roth! You're a good old man and I like you. You were loyal to my father for years. The Rosato brothers are taking hostages. They spit right in my face, all because they're backed up by that Jew in Miami. I know. That's why I don't want them touched. -Not touched? -No, I want you to be fair with them. You want me to be fair with them? How can you be fair to animals? Tom, listen. They recruit spics, they recruit niggers. They do violence in their grandmothers' neighborhoods! And everything with them is whores! Andjunk, dope! And they leave the gambling to last. I want to run my family without you on my back. I want those Rosatos dead! -No. -Morte. I have business that's important with Hyman Roth. I don't want it disturbed. Then you give your loyalty to a Jew before your own blood. You know my father did business with Hyman Roth. He respected him. Your father did business with Hyman Roth, he respected Hyman Roth, but he never trusted Hyman Roth or his Sicilian messenger boy, Johnny Ola. You'll have to excuse me. I'm tired, and I'm a little drunk! I want everybody here to know, there's not going to be no trouble from me! Don Corleone. Cicci, the door... You want him to leave now? Let him go back to New York. I've already made my plans. The old man had too much wine. It's late. How's the baby? -Sleeping inside me. -Does it feel like a boy? Yes, it does, Michael. Kay? I'm sorry about all the people today. Bad timing. It couldn't be helped, though. It made me think of what you once told me. " In five years the Corleone family will be completely legitimate. " That was seven years ago. I know. I'm trying, darling. Did you see this? Why are the drapes open? Kay, are you all right? -Are you hit? -No. It's all right. Stop! Stop! Halt! They're still on the property. Please stay inside. -Keep them alive. -We'll try. Alive! Stay by the door. Yeah, come in. -Mike, are you all right? -Yeah. There's a lot I can't tell you, Tom. And I know that's upset you in the past. You felt it was because of some lack of trust or confidence. But it's because I admire you and love you that I kept things secret from you. Now you're the only one I can trust. Fredo? Well, he's got a good heart. But he's weak and he's stupid, and this is life and death. Tom, you're my brother. I always wanted to be thought of as a brother by you, Mikey. A real brother. I know that. You're going to take over. You're going to be the Don. If what I think has happened, has happened, I'm leaving here tonight. I give you complete power. Over Fredo and his men. Rocco, Neri, everyone. I'm trusting you with the lives of my wife and my children, the future of this family. -If we catch them, will we find out... -We won't catch them. Unless I'm very wrong, they're dead already. They were killed by somebody close to us. Inside. Very, very frightened that they botched it. You don't think that Rocco and Neri had something to do with this? See... All our people are businessmen. Their loyalty is based on that. One thing I learned from Pop was to try to think as people around you think. On that basis, anything is possible. Mike, they're dead! Right outside my window! I want to get out of here. They're lying there dead! Over here! There's two of them. Looks like they were hired out of New York. I don't recognize them. Won't get anything out of them now. Fish them out. Get rid of the bodies. -Where's Mike? -Rocco. Anthony, everything is going to be all right. Try to sleep. -Did you like your party? -I got lots of presents. I know. Did you like them? Yeah. I didn't know the people who gave them to me. Well, they were friends. -Did you see my present for you? -It was on my pillow. I'm going to be leaving very early tomorrow. -Will you take me? -No, I can't, Anthony. -Why do you have to go? -I have to do business. I could help you. I know. Some day you will. Get some sleep. She's really beautiful. You've got to see her. Wait till you see her. Words can't describe her. I left Naples. I left Mama. For a no-good tramp! Now here I am in America, in New York. Alone! Thinking of my mother. Without news from home. Finally, a letter from Naples! Vito, how do you like my little angel? Isn't she beautiful? She's very beautiful. To you, she's beautiful. For me, there's only my wife and son. Our dear mother - ...is dead! We'll go backstage later and take her to eat. Sit down, you bum! Oh, excuse me, Don Fanucci. We'll go see her backstage. Who was that? The Black Hand. That's Fanucci...the Black Hand. We'll talk about it tomorrow. Tomorrow! Always tomorrow! You'll pay me today! Let's go. Not my daughter! Let her go! Here, take all my money! Vito, come on. I know what you're thinking. But you don't know how things are. Fanucci's with the Black Hand. The whole neighborhood pays him. Even my father, in the grocery store. If he's Italian why does he bother other Italians? He knows they have nobody to protect them. Forget that. Did you like my angel? If you're happy, I'm happy. Don't you feel well? Is your boss treating you all right? Forget it. Hey, you speak Italian? Hide this for me! Next week I'll come and get it! Abbandando, meet my nephew! How's business? It's good, it's good. Fanucci's mad. Says the neighborhood's getting sloppy. People don't pay on time, don't pay the full amount. Says he's been too nice to everyone. So Fanucci's changing? Sure. He wants double from everybody. Even from my father. I'm a friend, right? So you'll let him work here? I've got some bad news. I feel rotten about telling you this... But Fanucci...he's got a nephew... And you have to give him my job. You've always been good to me, ever since I came here. You looked after me like a father. I thank you. And I won't forget it. Vito! Oh, no! Take this to your family. Thanks anyway. But please, I can't accept. What a nice pear! I'm Clemenza, you still have my goods? Did you look inside? I'm not interested in things that don't concern me. A friend of mine has a nice rug. Maybe your wife would like it. Sure she would. But who has money for a rug? It would be a present. I know how to return a favor. Yeah, sure. My wife would like it. That son of a bitch! He isn't home! Damn, he didn't even leave the key. Well, he won't mind. Come on in. Hey, Vito, come on in! This is your friend's place? This is a real palace. One of the best. Vito, give me a hand, will you? Look how pretty it is, Santino! Come on in. It's all right. Hyman's in there. -Would you like a tuna sandwich? -No, thank you. ...pick up of two by Holden. Second and eight for S.C... -Mr. Roth? -Come in, Michael. Sit down, make yourself comfortable. It's almost over. -Do you follow the football game? -Not for a while I haven't. I enjoy watching football in the afternoon. One of the things I love about this country. Baseball too. Ever since Arnold Rothstein fixed the World Series in 1919. I heard you had some trouble. Stupid. People behaving like that with guns. The important thing is you're all right. Good health is the most important thing. More than success, more than money. More than power. I came here because there's going to be more bloodshed. I wanted you to know, so another war won't start. Nobody wants another war. Frank Pentangeli asked my permission to get rid of the Rosato brothers. When I refused he tried to have me killed. He was stupid, I was lucky. I'll visit him soon. The important thing is that nothing interferes with our plans for the future. Nothing is more important. -You're a wise and considerate man. -And you're a great man, Mr. Roth. -There's much I can learn from you. -Whatever I can do to help, Michael. -Excuse me. Lunch. -Come in. -Thank you, my dear. -You're going to break your eardrums. -Enjoy it. -Thank you. You're young, I'm old and sick. What we'll do in the next few months will make history. It's never been done before. Not even your father would dream that such a thing could be possible. Frank Pentangeli is a dead man. You don't object? He's small potatoes. What's up? We got company? What's going on? Michael Corleone is here. Where is he? He's in your den. You better hurry. He's been waiting a half hour. Is something wrong? I wish you would have let me know you were coming. -I could have prepared something. -I didn't want you to know. -You heard what happened? -I almost died. We were so relieved... In my home! In my bedroom where my wife sleeps! Where my children come to play. In my home. I want you to help me take my revenge. Michael, anything. What can I do? Settle these troubles with the Rosato brothers. I don't understand. I don't... I don't have your brain for big deals. But this is a street thing. That Hyman Roth in Miami. He's backing up those sons-of-bitches. -I know he is. -So why ask me to lay down to them? It was Hyman Roth that tried to have me killed. I know it was him. Jesus Christ, Mike. Jesus Christ, let's get them all. Now while we've got the muscle. This used to be my father's old study. It's changed. I remember there used to be a big desk here. I remember when I was a kid. We had to be quiet when we played near here. I was very happy that this house never went to strangers. First Clemenza took it over. Now you. My father taught me many things here. He taught me in this room. He taught me, "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. " If Hyman Roth sees that I interceded in this, in the Rosato brothers' favor, he'll think his relationship with me is still good. That's what I want him to think. I want him relaxed and confident in our friendship. Then I'll be able to find out who the traitor in my family was. -Yeah? -Fredo, this is Johnny Ola. -We need some more help. -Johnny? Jesus Christ, what the hell time is it? -Who's that, honey? -Listen good, Fredo. Why are you calling me? I don't want to talk to you. Pentangeli is going to accept the Rosato brothers' deal. -Oh, God. -Will he come alone? I don't know. You've got me in deep enough already. Everything will be all right. Pentangeli says he's willing to make a deal. All we want to know is if he's on the level, or if he'll bring his boys. You lied to me. I don't want you to call me anymore. -Your brother won't find out we talked. -I don't know what you're talking about. -Who was that? -Wrong number. -Frankie, I've got nobody here. -Wait in the car, Cicc'. -Frankie. -That's okay, Cicc'. -What's this? -A lucky C note for our new deal. Ritchie. Give us a taste. We were all real happy about your decision, Frankie. -You won't regret it. -I don't like the C note, Rosato. I take that as an insult. Michael Corleone says hello! Close the door! Your friend the cop... Hey, Ritch. It's dark in here. Are you open or closed? I just came in to clean up a little, you know? What's the matter? -Is that something on the floor? -Carmine, not here! Anthony! You open this bar and I'll blow your head in! Freddy, it's good to see you. -How is he? -He's okay. He's in the back. Girls, take a hike. In this room here. -I want to talk to him alone first. -Come on. I thought I could help you, Senator. Hagen? -Listen, I did not... -It's all right. -I didn't do anything. -It's okay. You're very lucky. My brother Fredo operates this place. He was called before anyone. Had this happened some place else, we couldn't have helped you. When I woke up, I was on the floor. -And I don't know how it happened. -You can't remember? I passed out. Just a game. Jesus. Jesus, Jesus! Jesus God! God! I don't know, and I don't understand why I can't remember. Doesn't matter, just do as I say. Put in a call to your office. Explain that you'll be there tomorrow. You decided to spend the night at Michael Corleone's house in Tahoe. -As his guest. -I do remember that she was laughing. We'd done it before, and I know that I could not have hurt that girl. This girl has no family. Nobody knows that she worked here. It'll be as though she never existed. All that's left is our friendship. -Yes? -Sorry, but we're not to let you through. -I'm just going to the market. -We'll pick up anything you want. -Whose orders are these? -Mr. Hagen's. He's coming. I'll speak to him. I wanted to explain, but I had business in Carson City. It's Michael's request for your safety. We'll get anything you need. -So I'm supposed to stay in my house? -No, within the compound will be fine. -We were going to New England. -That's off. -Am I a prisoner? -That's not how we see it, Kay. Come on, kids. We're going back to the house. Joe. Cuba, Cuba! Most respected gentlemen. Welcome to Havana. I want to thank this distinguished group of American industrialists for continuing to work with Cuba for the greatest period of prosperity in her entire history. Mr. William Shaw, representing the General Fruit Company. Messrs. Corngold and Dant, of United Telephone and Telegraph Company. Mr. Petty, Regional Vice President of the Pan American Mining Corporation. Mr. Robert Allen of South American Sugar. Mr. Michael Corleone of Nevada, representing our associates in tourism and leisure activities. And my old friend and associate from Florida, Mr. Hyman Roth. I would like to thank United Telephone and Telegraph for their Christmas gift. A solid gold telephone. Perhaps you gentlemen would like to look at it. -Mr. President? -Yes? Could you discuss the rebel activity and what this can mean to our businesses? -Of course. -Heavy stuff. I assure you that, although the rebels have started a campaign in Las Villas, my staff indicates, with assurance, that we'll drive them out of Santa Clara before the New Year. I want to put you all at ease. We will tolerate no guerrillas in the casinos or the swimming pools. He said that they're making an arrest, and in a few minutes he'll let us through. Johnny... It's nothing. Just some lousy bandits. The police are cleaning them up. Viva Fidel! I hope my age is correct. I'm always accurate about my age. Make sure that everybody sees the cake before we cut it. I'm very pleased you're all able to come from such distances to be with me today. When a man comes to this point in his life, he wants to turn over the things he's been blessed with. Turn them over to friends, as a reward for the friends he's had and to make sure that everything goes well after he's gone. -Not for years. -Hear, hear! We'll see. The doctors would disagree, but what do they know? These are wonderful things that we've achieved in Havana and there's no limit to where we can go from here. This kind of government knows how to help business, to encourage it. The hotels here are bigger and swankier than any of the joints in Vegas. We can thank our friends in the Cuban government which has put up half the cash with the Teamsters, on a dollar for dollar basis and has relaxed restrictions on imports. What I'm saying is that we have now what we have always needed... Real partnership with a government. Smaller piece. You all know Michael Corleone and we all remember his father. At the time of my retirement, or death, I turn over all my interests in the Havana operation to his control. But, all of you will share. The Nacionale will go to the Lakeville Road Boys, the Capri to the Corleone family, the Sevilla Biltmore also, but Eddie Levine will bring in the Pennino brothers, Dino and Eddie, for a piece and to handle the casino operations. We've saved a piece for some friends in Nevada to make sure that things go smoothly back home. I want all of you to enjoy your cake. So, enjoy! -Happy birthday! -L'chaim! I saw an interesting thing happen today. A rebel was being arrested by the military police. Rather than be taken alive, he exploded a grenade he had in his jacket. He killed himself and took a captain of the command with him. -Those rebels are lunatics. -Maybe so. But it occurred to me, that the soldiers are paid to fight, the rebels aren't. -What does that tell you? -They can win. This country has had rebels for 50 years. It's in their blood. I know, I've been coming here since the Twenties. We were running molasses from Havana when you were a baby. The trucks were owned by your father. Michael. I'd rather we talked about this when we're alone. The two million never got to the island. It mustn't be known that you held back the money because you worried about the rebels. Sit down, Michael. Sit down. If I could only live to see it, to be there with you. What I wouldn't give for 20 more years. Here we are, protected. Free to make our profits without Kefauver, the goddamn Justice Department and the FBI. 90 miles away, in partnership with a friendly government. 90 miles. It's nothing. Just one small step for a man looking to be President of the United States and having the cash to make it possible. Michael, we're bigger than U.S. Steel. Mikey, how are you? Okay? -Hi! Freddy Corleone. -Mio frati. Jesus Christ, what a trip! I thought, "What if somebody knows what I've got in here". Can you imagine that? Two million dollars on the seat next to me. -Excuse me. -It's okay. You want to count it? What's going on? I'm totally in the dark. The family is making an investment in Havana. This is a gift for the President. That's great! Havana's great. It's my kind of town. -Anybody I know in Havana? -Don't know. Hyman Roth, Johnny Ola? No. I've never met them. Listen, Mikey, I'm kind of... Kind of nervous from the trip. Can I get a drink or something? I thought maybe we'd go out together. I know a place where we can spend some time together. Sometimes I think I should have married a woman like you did. Like Kay. Have kids. Have a family. For once in my life, be more like Pop. It's not easy to be a son, Fredo. It's not easy. Mama used to say, "You don't belong to me. " "You were left on the doorstep by gypsies. " Sometimes I think it's true. You're no gypsy, Fredo. Mikey, I was mad at you. Why didn't we spend time like this before? You want a drink, right? Waiter! Por favor... -How do you say Banana Daiquiri? -Banana Daiquiri. -That's it? -That's it. Uno Banana Daiquiri and a club soda. Senator Geary flies in from Washington tomorrow with some government people. I want you to show them a good time in Havana. -That's my specialty, right? -Can I trust you with something? Of course, Mike. Later in the evening we're all invited to the Presidential Palace to bring in the New Year. After it's over they'll take me home in a military car, alone. For my protection. Before I reach my hotel, I'll be assassinated. -Who? -Roth. It was Roth who tried to kill me in my home. It was Roth all along. He acts like I'm his son, his successor. But he thinks he'll live forever and wants me out. -How can I help? -Just go along, as if you know nothing. -I've already made my move. -What move? Hyman Roth won't see the New Year. You're to take it easy, he'll be back tomorrow. Fly in my own doctor from Miami. I don't trust a doctor who can't speak English. -Gracias, señor. -Buenas noches. -Honey, go to the casino. -If you're feeling better. Feel fine. -Play the bingo game. -Okay. Nice to see you, Mr. Paul. My sixth sense tells me Fredo brought a bag full of money. Where is it? -You're pulling out? -Just want to... Just want to wait. -How do you feel? -Terrible. I'd give four million to be able to take a painless piss. -Who had Frank Pentangeli killed? -The Rosato brothers. I know, but who gave the go-ahead? I know I didn't. There was this kid I grew up with. He was younger than me. Sort of looked up to me, you know. We did our first work together. Worked our way out of the street. Things were good. During Prohibition we ran molasses into Canada. Made a fortune. Your father, too. As much as anyone, I loved him and trusted him. Later on he had an idea to build a city out of a desert stop-over for G. I.s going to the West Coast. That kid's name was Moe Greene and the city he invented was Las Vegas. This was a great man. A man of vision and guts. And there isn't even a plaque, signpost or statue of him in that town. Someone put a bullet through his eye. No one knows who gave the order. When I heard it, I wasn't angry. I knew Moe, I knew he was headstrong. Talking loud, saying stupid things. So when he turned up dead, I let it go. And I said to myself, "This is the business we've chosen. " I didn't ask who gave the order, because it had nothing to do with business. That two million in a bag in your room... I'm going in to take a nap. When I wake, if the money is on the table, I know I have a partner. If it isn't, I know I don't. Does everybody know everybody? You know Senator Geary. Good to see you, Mike. I'm glad we spend this time together. Senator Payton from Florida... Judge DeMalco from New York... Senator Ream from Maryland... Fred Corngold from UTT. -That Fred does a mean cha-cha-cha! -He does? Gentlemen, it's refill time! You might try some of the local drinks. Cuba Libre, Piña Colada... I think I'll try one of those redheaded Yolandas. -That you got! Con gusto... -Johnny! You don't know my brother Fredo. Johnny Ola, Fredo. -We never met. Johnny Ola. -Pleasure. Gentlemen, to a night in Havana! -Happy New Year! -Happy New Year! -Feliz Año Nuevo! -Happy New Year. -Hey, Freddy, why are we standing? -Everybody stands. -It's worth it. You won't believe this. -I don't believe it already. -50 dollars, right? -You've got a bet, mister. That's Superman. Did I tell you or did I tell you? -I don't believe it! -It's got to be fake. It's real. That's why he's called Superman. Hey, Freddy, where did you find this place? Johnny Ola brought me here. I didn't believe it, but seeing is believing! -I see it, but still don't believe it! -50 bucks, Pat. Roth won't go here, but Johnny knows these places! -Watch, he'll break a cracker with it. -I want to see him break a brick! Relax, we're taking you to the hospital. ...and you'll continue to get those. I don't believe that President Eisenhower would ever pull out of Cuba as we have over one billion dollars invested in this country. The American public believe in non-intervention... Fredo! Where are you going? I'm getting a real drink, because I can't... What kept Mr. Roth? I understood he was coming. Reeves, what's the protocol? How long should we stay? I think a half hour ought to do it. Just long enough to bring in the New Year. It's New Year's Eve. Come on, just for a minute. There's a plane waiting to take us to Miami in an hour. Don't make a big thing about it. I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart! Due to serious setbacks to our troops in Guantanamo and Santiago my position in Cuba is untenable. I am resigning from office to avoid further bloodshed. And I shall leave the city immediately. I wish all of you good luck. Salud! Viva la revolución! Viva Fidel! Fredo! Come on. Come with me. It's the only way out of here tonight. Roth is dead. Fredo, come with me! You're still my brother. Fredo! I'm Pat Geary, United States Senator. Fidel! Fidel! Fidel! Al. Get me a wet towel. Does Kay know I'm back? My boy? Did you get him something for Christmas? -I took care of it. -What was it, so I'll know. It was a little car with an electric motor that he can ride in. It's nice. Thank you, Al. Fellows, could you step outside for a minute? Where's my brother? Roth got out on a private boat. He's in a hospital in Miami. He had a stroke, but recovered okay. Your bodyguard is dead. I asked about Fredo. I think he got out. He must be somewhere in New York. All right. I want you to get in touch with him. I know he's scared. Tell him everything is all right. Tell him I know Roth misled him. That he didn't know they would try to kill me. -They can come in now. -There was something else. What? What? Come on. Kay had a miscarriage. -Was it a boy? -At three and a half months... Can't you give me a straight answer? Was it a boy? I really don't know. Poor little Fredo, he's got pneumonia. Young man, I hear you and your friends are stealing goods. But you don't even send a dress to my house. No respect! You know I've got three daughters. This is my neighborhood. You and your friends should show me some respect. You should let me wet my beak a little. I hear you and your friends cleared $600 each. Give me $200 each, for your own protection. And I'll forget the insult. You young punks have to learn to respect a man like me! Otherwise the cops will come to your house. And your family will be ruined. Of course if I'm wrong about how much you stole - I'll take a little less. And by less, I only mean - a hundred bucks less. Now don't refuse me. Understand, paisan? I understand. My friends and I share all the money. So first, I have to talk to them. Tell your friends I don't want a lot. Just enough to wet my beak. Don't be afraid to tell them! 600 bucks... Suppose we don't pay? You know his gang, Tessio. Real animals. Maranzalla himself let Fanucci work this neighborhood. He's got connections with the cops, too. We have to pay him. $200 each...everybody agreed? Why do we have to pay him? Vito, leave this to us. He's one person, we're three. He's got guns, we've got guns. Why should we give him the money we sweated for? This is his neighborhood! I know two bookies who don't give anything to Fanucci. Who? Joe The Greek and Frank Pignattaro. They don't pay Fanucci. If they don't pay Fanucci, then somebody else collects for Maranzalla! We'll all be better off if we pay him. Don't worry. Now what I say stays in this room. If you both like, why not give me $50 each to pay Fanucci? I guarantee he'll accept what I give him. If Fanucci says $200 he means it, Vito! I'll reason with him. Leave everything to me. I'll take care of everything. I never lie to my friends. Tomorrow you both go talk to Fanucci. He'll ask for the money. Tell him you'll pay whatever he wants. Don't argue with him. Then I'll go and get him to agree. Don't argue with him, since he's so tough. How can you get him to take less? That's my business. Just remember that I did you a favor. Is it a deal? Yes. His family's out of the house. Fanucci's alone in the cafe. Vito, here's my 50 dollars. Buona fortuna. Are you sure he's going to go for it? I'll make an offer he don't refuse. Don't worry. It looks like there's - $ 100 under my hat. I was right. Only $ 100... I'm short of money right now. I've been out of work...so just give me a little time. You understand, don't you? You've got balls, young man! How come I never heard of you before? You've got a lot of guts. I'll find you some work for good money. No hard feelings, right? If I can help you, let me know. You've done well for yourself. Enjoy the festa! Oh, this is too violent for me! What've you got there? Michael, your father loves you very much. Mr. Cicci, from the year 1942 to the present time, you were an employee of the Genco Olive Oil Company? That's right. But in actuality you were a member of the Corleone crime organization. No, we called it the Corleone family, Senator. What was your position? At first, like everybody else, I was a soldier. -What is that? -A button, you know, Senator. No, I don't know. Tell me. When the boss says "push a button" on a guy, I push a button. See, Senator? Mr. Questadt. -You mean you kill people? -What? You kill people at the behest of your superiors. Yeah, that's right. And the head of your family is Michael Corleone? Yeah, Counselor. Michael Corleone. Did you ever get such an order directly from Michael Corleone? No, I never talked to him. Mr. Cicci, could you amplify your answer a bit? -Do what? -Could you expand on your answer? I'm particularly interested in knowing, was there always a buffer involved? Someone in between you and your superiors who gave the order. Right, a buffer. The family had a lot of buffers! You may find this very amusing, but the members of this committee do not. Tell me something, Ma. What did Papa think... deep in his heart? He was being strong... Strong for his family. But by being strong for his family could he lose it? You're thinking about your wife... about the baby you lost. But you and your wife can always have another baby. No, I meant... lose his family But you can never lose your family. Times are changing. It's my pleasure. I don't want money. Take it as a gift. If there's something I can do for you, you come, we talk. Signora Colombo, why did you come to see me? Your wife told me to ask if you could help me. She's in bad trouble. Her neighbors complained to the landlord about her dog. He told her to get rid of the animal. But her little boy loves that dog. So she hid it. When the landlord found out, he got mad and told her to leave. Now she can't stay even if she gets rid of it. I'm so ashamed! He said he'd get the police to throw us out on the street. I'm sorry, but... I could give you a couple dollars to help you move. I can't move! I want you to talk to him! Tell him I want to stay here! What's your landlord's name? His name is Signor Roberto. He lives on Fourth Street, near here. They break the windows, they dirty the floors... A real pig-sty, eh? My name is Vito Corleone. Signora Colombo is a friend of my wife. She says she's been evicted for no good reason. She's a poor widow, she has nobody to take care of her. She has no relatives, no money. All she has is this neighborhood. I already rented the place to another family. I told her that I'd talk to you. That you're a reasonable man. She got rid of the animal that caused all the trouble. So let her stay. Impossible. Are you Sicilian? No, I'm Calabrese. We're practically paisan, do me this favor. I already rented it! I'll look like an idiot. Besides, the new tenants pay more rent. How much more a month? Five bucks. Here's six months increase in advance. But don't tell her about it. She's very proud. Come see me in another six months. Of course, the dog stays. Right? The dog stays. Who the hell are you to come give me orders? Watch out or I'll kick your Sicilian ass right into the street! Do me this favor. I won't forget it. Ask your friends in the neighborhood about me. They'll tell you I know how to return a favor. What a character! That landlord is here... Roberto, the one who owns those ratholes. He's been asking all around the neighborhood about you. I hope I'm not disturbing you, Don Vito. What can I do for you, Don Roberto? What a misunderstanding! Holy Mary! Of course Signora Colombo can stay! I'm giving back the money you gave me. Un, due, three, four, five, six, tutt'! Because after all, Don Vito, money isn't everything. Can I sit down? Your kindness to that widow made me ashamed of myself. The rent stays like before! I'll even lower it. I'll lower it $5. I'll lower it $ 10! Can I offer you some coffee? I'm late for an appointment! I can't this time! Ask me another time! You'll have to excuse me for now. I wish I could stay longer! Just call me and I'll be here! He won't be back. He'll hide out in the Bronx! -Vito, what do you think? -We'll make a big business! -New York City. -Would you speak up, please? New York City. -Are you the son of Vito CorIeone? -Yes, I am. -Where was he born? -CorIeone, sicily. Did he at times use an alias that was known in certain circles as Godfather? Godfather is a term used by his friends. One of affection and respect. Mr. Chairman, I would Iike to verify the witness' statement. For years many of my constituents have been of italian descent. I've come to know them well. They have honored me with their support and their friendship. I can proudly say that some of my very best friends are ItaIian-Americans. However, Mr. Chairman, unfortunately I have to leave these proceedings in order to preside over a very important meeting of my own committee. Before I leave, I do want to say this, that these hearings on the Mafia are in no way whatsoever a slur upon the great italian people. I can state from my own knowledge and experience that ItaIian-Americans are among the most loyal, most Iaw-abiding, patriotic, hard-working American citizens in this land. It would be a shame, Mr. Chairman, if we allowed a few rotten apples to give a bad name to the whole barrel. Because from the time of Christopher columbus to the time of Enrico Fermi to the present day, ItaIian-Americans have been pioneers in building and defending our nation. They are the salt of the earth, and one of the backbones of this country. I'm sure we all agree with our esteemed colleague. Mr. CorIeone, you have been advised as to your legal rights. We have testimony from a previous witness, one willl Cicci. He stated that you are head of the most powerful Mafia family in the country. -Are you? -No, I'm not. He testified that you are personally responsible for the murder of a New York police captain in 1947 and with him a man named VirgiI SoIIozzo. -Do you deny this? -Yes, I do. Is it true that in the year 1950 you devised the murder of the heads of "the Five families" in New York to assume and consolidate your nefarious power? -It's a complete falsehood. -Mr. Questadt. Is it true you have a controlling interest in three major hotels in Las Vegas? No, it's not true. I own some stock in some of the hotels there, but very little. I also have stock in IBM and ITT. Do you have any control over gambling and narcotics in New York State? No, I do not. Senator, my client would Iike to read a statement. Mr. Chairman, I think this statement is totally out of order at this time. Sir, my client has answered this committee's questions with sincerity. He hasn't taken the Fifth Amendment, so this statement should be heard! No, I'll allow Mr. Corleone to read his statement. I'II put it in the record. In the hopes of clearing my family name to give my children their share of the American way of Iife without a blemish on their name and background, I have appeared before this committee and given it all my cooperation. I consider it a great personal dishonor to have to deny that I am a criminal. I wish to have the following noted for the record... That I served my country faithfully in world War Two and was awarded the Navy Cross for actions in defense of my country. That I have never been arrested or indicted for any crime. That no proof linking me to any criminal conspiracy whether it is called Mafia or Cosa Nostra or any other name has ever been made public. I have not taken refuge behind the Fifth Amendment, although it's my right to do so. I challenge this committee to produce any witness or evidence against me and if they do not, I hope they will have the decency to clear my name with the same publicity with which they have besmirched it. I'm sure we're impressed. particularly with your love for our country. We'II be in recess until 10:00 a.m. Monday when we will produce a witness who'II corroborate the charges against you. At which time you may very well be subject to indictment for perjury. I remind you that you're still under subpoena. Adjourned! Ten-to-one shot, you said. A ten-to-one shot he would take the Fifth, and I'd lose! You sound like my bookie. I owe that monkey my life. -Well, just get a good night's sleep. -Yeah. You've got a big day tomorrow. I've got you a new suit, new shirt, new tie. I'll shave you myself in the morning. You'll look respectable for 50 million of your fellow Americans. Tomorrow... My life won't be worth a nickel after tomorrow. Come on! I saw this 19 times. You've got a great home here, for the rest of your life. Nobody gets near you, you're not going anywhere. That's great. Beautiful. Some deal I made. You'll live like a king. You'll be a hero. You'll live better here than most people outside. Some deal! Alive. Pentangeli is alive. -How did they get their hands on him? -Roth. He engineered it, Michael. When Frankie went to make a deal with the Rosato brothers they tried to kill him. He thought you double-crossed him. Our people with the detectives said he was half dead, scared and shouted that you'd turned on him. They already had him on possession, bookmaking, murder one and more. The FBI has him airtight. He's on an army base, 24 hour guards. We can't get to him. You've opened yourself to five counts of perjury. What about Fredo? What does he know? He says he doesn't know anything, and I believe him. Roth, he played this one beautifully. I'm going to talk to Fredo. I haven't got a lot to say, Mike. We have time. I was kept pretty much in the dark. I didn't know all that much. What about now? Is there anything you can help me out with? Anything you can tell me now? They've got Pentangeli. I didn't know it was going to be a hit, Mike. I swear to God I didn't know. Johnny Ola bumped into me in Beverly Hills. He said that he wanted to talk. He said that you and Roth were in on a big deal together. And that there was something in it for me if I could help him out. He said that you were being tough on the negotiations but if they could get a little help and close the deal fast, it would be good for the family. And you believed that story? You believed that? He said there was something in it for me, on my own! -I've always taken care of you, Fredo. -Taken care of me? You're my kid brother! You take care of me? Did you ever think about that? Did you ever once think about that? "Send Fredo off to do this, send Fredo off to do that!" "Let Fredo take care of some Mickey Mouse nightclub somewhere. " "Let Fredo fetch somebody at the airport!" I'm your older brother, but was stepped over! -It's the way Pop wanted it. -It's not the way I wanted it! I can handle things, I'm smart! Not like everybody says. Like dumb. I'm smart and I want respect! Is there anything you can tell me about this investigation? Anything more? The Senate lawyer, Questadt. He belongs to Roth. Fredo, you're nothing to me now. Not a brother, not a friend. I don't want to know you, or what you do. I don't want to see you at the hotels. I don't want you near my house. When you see our mother, I want to know in advance, so I won't be there. You understand? Mikey. I don't want anything to happen to him while my mother's alive. There's more people than at a ballgame in here. -Hey, there's Willi Cicci! -Frankie Five-Angels... This committee will come to order! -State your name, please. -Frank PentangeIi. -Where were you born? -Partinico, it's outside of Palermo. Where do you live now? I Iive in an army barracks with the FBI guys. We have here a witness that will further testify to michael corleone's rule of a criminal empire that controls all gambling. This witness has had no buffer between himself and michael corleone. He can corroborate enough charges for us to recommend a charge of perjury against michael corleone. -Senator. -Thank you, Chairman. Mr. PentangeIi. Mr. PentangeIi. Were you a member of the CorIeone family? Did you serve under Caporegime, Peter Clemenza, and under Vito Corleone, also known as the Godfather? I never knew any Godfather. I have my own family. Mr. PentangeIi, you... You are contradicting your own sworn statement. I ask you again, sir, here and now under oath... were you at any time a member of a crime organization led by michael corleone? I don't know nothing about that! I was in the olive oil business with his father but that was a long time ago. We have a sworn affidavit. Your sworn affidavit, that you murdered on the orders of michael corleone. Do you deny this confession, and do you realize what will happen if you do? The FBI guys promised me a deal so I made up a Iot of stuff about michael corleone, just to please them. But it was all lies. Everything! They kept saying, "michael corleone did this" and "michael corleone did that". So I said, "Yeah, sure. Why not?" Mr. Corleone, would you kindly identify the gentleman sitting to your left? I can answer that. His name is Vincenzo Pentangeli. -Is he related to the witness? -He is, I believe, his brother. -will he come forward and be sworn? -He doesn't understand english. He came at his own expense to aid his brother. He's not under subpoena and has an impeccable reputation. -He knows nothing about this? -To my knowledge, nothing. I'm going to find out what happened! This committee is now adjourned. -The witness is excused. -Senator! Senator! This committee owes an apology! This committee owes an apology. Apology, Senator! -Michael, excuse me. -Hello, darling. The children are outside. We're going. What do you mean? We're leaving tomorrow. Rocco? I'll be in my room, Mike. Michael, I'm not going back to Nevada. I brought the children to say goodbye to you. I'm very happy for you. I always knew you were too smart to let any of them beat you. -Why don't you sit down? -No, I'm not going to stay long. There are some things I'd like to talk to you about. Things that have been on my mind, changes I want to make. I think it's too late for changes, Michael. -I wasn't going to say anything... -What do you mean, "too late"? What really happened with Pentangeli? -His brother came and helped him. -I didn't even know he had a brother. Where is he now? He's on a plane, back to Sicily. All he had to do was show his face. It was between the brothers, Kay. I had nothing to do with it. I don't want you going! Not you, not the kids. No. You're my wife and my children. I love you and won't allow it. You say you love me, but talk about allowing me to leave! Things between men and women will not change. You've become blind! Look what's happened to us. -Look what's happened to our son! -Nothing's happened to him. He's fine! -Anthony is not fine! -I don't want to hear about it. -Anthony is... -I don't want to hear about it! Over! At this moment I feel no love for you at all. I never thought that would ever happen, but it has. Kay... We're leaving tomorrow. Why don't you take the kids back to their room? -Michael, you haven't heard me. -Kay, what do you want from me? Do you expect me to let you go, to let you take my children from me? Don't you know me? Don't you know that that's an impossibility? That I'd use all my power to keep that from happening? Don't you know that? Kay... In time, you'll feel differently. You'll be glad I stopped you now. I know that. I know you blame me for losing the baby. Yes. I know what that meant to you. I'll make it up to you, Kay. I swear I'll make it up to you. I'll... I'm going to change. I'll change. I've learned that I have the strength to change. Then you'll forget about this miscarriage and we'll have another child. And we'll go on, you and I. -We'll go on. -Oh, Michael! Michael, you are blind. It wasn't a miscarriage. It was an abortion. An abortion, Michael. Just like our marriage is an abortion. Something that's unholy and evil! I didn't want your son, Michael! I wouldn't bring another one of your sons into this world! It was an abortion, Michael. It was a son and I had it killed because this must all end! I know now that it's over. I knew it then. There would be no way, Michael, no way you could ever forgive me. Not with this Sicilian thing that's been going on for 2,000... -You won't take my children. -I will. -You won't take my children! -They're my children too. Fredo, give this to Grandmother. Don Ciccio, it's Tommasino. Allow me the honor of introducing someone. My partner in America, in New York. His name is Vito Corleone. We'll send him olive oil from here. To his company in America. They're olive oil importers, Don Ciccio. We'd like your blessing, and your permission to start work. Where is this young man from New York? Have him come closer. I can't see him so good. My respects, Don Ciccio. Give me your blessing. Bless you! What's your name? You took the name of this town! And what's your father's name? His name was... Antonio Andolini. Louder, I don't hear so good. My father's name was Antonio Andolini and this is for you! Michael, say goodbye. Hi, Al. Can I speak with you for a second, Tom? Tom, where's Mike? Waiting for you to leave. -Can I talk with him? -Sorry, Fredo. No chance. -Can I see him? -He's in the boathouse. Michael, it's Connie. Michael... I'd like to stay close to home now, if it's all right. Is Kay coming? No. Fredo's in the house with Mama. He asked for you and Tom said you wouldn't see him. That's right. Kids, why don't you go outside for a while? Please, I want to talk to you. Michael, I hated you for so many years. I think I did things to myself, to hurt myself, so that you'd know that I could hurt you. You were just being strong for all of us, the way Papa was. And I forgive you. Can't you forgive Fredo? He's so sweet, and helpless without you. You need me. I want to take care of you now. Connie. Tom, sit down. Our friend and business partner, Hyman Roth, is in the news. -Did you hear about it? -I hear that he's in Israel. The High Court in Israel turned down his request to live there. His passport's been invalidated, except to return here. He landed in Buenos Aires yesterday. He offered them a million dollars if they'd let him live there. -They turned him down. -He's going to try Panama. Panama won't take him. Not for a million, not for ten million. His condition is reported as terminal. He's only got six months left. He's had the same heart attack for 20 years. -That plane goes to Miami. -That's right. That's where I want it met. Impossible. They'll turn him over to the Internal Revenue, Customs and FBI. It's not impossible. Nothing's impossible. It would be like trying to kill the President. -There's no way we can get to him! -Tom, you surprise me. If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything, it's that you can kill anyone. -Rocco? -Difficult. Not impossible. Good. Why did you ask me if something was wrong when I came in? I thought you were going to tell me that you were moving your family to Vegas and that you'd been offered the Vice Presidency of the Houstan hotels there. -I thought you'd tell me that. -Must I tell you every offer I turn down? -Let's do business. -All right. Just consider this, Michael. Just consider it. Roth and the Rosatos are on the run. Are they worth it, are they strong enough? Is it worth it? You've won. Do you want to wipe everybody out? I don't feel I have to wipe everybody out, Tom. Just my enemies, that's all. Are you with me in these things, or what? Because if not, you can take your wife, your family and your mistress and move them all to Las Vegas. Why do you hurt me, Michael? I've always been loyal to you. What is this? So...you're staying? Yes, I'm staying. What do you want me to do? Hey, Anthony. How would you like it if I taught you how to catch the really big fish? -Would you like that? -Okay. You know, when I was your age, I went out fishing with all my brothers and my father. Everybody. I was the only one that caught a fish. Nobody else could catch one. Do you know how I did it? Every time I put the line in the water I said a Hail Mary and every time I said a Hail Mary, I caught a fish. Do you believe that? It's true. That's the secret. -Do you want to try it out on the lake? -Okay. What else have you got? Everything will be okay. -Did my brother go back? -Yeah, don't worry. He's ten times tougher than me, my brother. He's old-fashioned. He didn't want dinner, just wanted to go home. That's my brother! Nothing could get him away from that two-mule town. He could have been big here. He could have had his own family. Tom, what do I do now? Frankie. You were always interested in politics and history. I remember you talking about Hitler back in '33. Yeah, I still read a lot. I get good stuff in there. You were around the old-timers, who built the organization of the families, basing them on the old Roman legions, with "regimes," "capos" and "soldiers". -And it worked. -Yeah, it worked. Those were the great old days, you know. We was like the Roman Empire. The Corleone family was like the Roman Empire. Yeah, it was once. Frankie. When a plot against the Emperor failed the plotters were always given a chance to let their families keep their fortunes. Right? Only the rich guys. The little guys got knocked off and all their estates went to the Emperors. Unless they went home and killed themselves, then nothing happened. And their families were taken care of. That was a good break, a nice deal. Yeah. They went home and sat in a hot bath opened up their veins and bled to death. And sometimes they had a little party before they did it. Don't worry about anything, Frankie Five-Angels. Thanks, Tom. Thanks. -See you, Tom. -Addio, Frankie. Kay. You have to go. -So pretty... -Kay, please hurry. He's coming. Anthony. Kiss Mama goodbye. Anthony, kiss your mother goodbye! Anthony, say goodbye to Mama. Anthony. I love you, Anthony. Kay, please. All right. Mary, come here. Anthony. Anthony, please. Kiss me once. Easy. Anthony! Anthony! -He's here, we're going fishing. -No! Michael wants to take him to Reno now. Shit! Okay, kid, you have to go to Reno with your pop. -I'll take you fishing tomorrow, okay? -Okay. Hey, Anthony. Listen, I'll catch one for you in secret. Let's go. -Mr. Roth, I must take you into custody. -I understand. What's your reaction to the Israeli High Court ruling? I'm a retired investor on a pension. I went to Israel to live there as a Jew, in the twilight of my life. Hey, Frankie! Come on out, let's play some Hearts. Frankie! Is it true you're worth over 300 million dollars? I'm a retired investor, living on a pension. I came home to vote in the presidential election because they wouldn't give me an absentee ballot. Jesus Christ. Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women. Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners. Hey! Everybody, pay attention. This is my friend Carlo Rizzi. -You know my brother Fredo. -Sure. This is my stepbrother Tom, and that's his girl Theresa. This cute little thing is my sister Connie. Say hello to Carlo. He's good-looking, isn't he? Yes. The droopy thing is Mike. We call him Joe College. Sit down. Talk to each other. Hey, Mr. Einstein... -The cake. -Sally, get in here! -I was scared. -Come on. -Where's your father? -Christmas shopping. Let's see that thing. That's nice! -Should I put the candles on now? -Yeah. You help her, Carlo. -What is that? Rum? -Yeah. Don't touch the antipasto until Pop sees it. He's not ugly... What do you think of the nerve of those Japs? Bombing us on Pop's birthday. They didn't know it was Pop's birthday. Not surprising after the oil embargo. They've got no right dropping bombs! Are you a Jap-lover? -30,000 enlisted this morning. -Bunch of saps... -Why are they saps? -Let's not talk about the war. You talk to Carlo. Only saps risk their lives for strangers. -That's Pop talking. -You're right, that's Pop talking! -They risk their lives for their country. -Country isn't your blood. -I don't feel that way. -Then quit college andjoin the army! I did. I've enlisted in the Marines. -Why didn't you come to us? -What do you mean? -Pop managed to get you a deferment. -I didn't ask for it. I didn't want it. Come on! Knock it off! -Punk! -Sonny, sit down. Mommy, Daddy's fighting again! Go and show Carlo the tree. Nice. Nice. Break your father's heart on his birthday. That's swell, Mike. Not even bigamy! I'm leaving! Get away! Ah.. go ahead, do it, do it. Thank you, Honorable. Mario! - Valeria! - My Mario, I knew you were innocent! Gentlemen of the Tribunal, I ask for the arrest of Isolina Fornaciari No! - ..for perjury and false testimony. And the witness, Mario De Santis, for the crimes of forgery, impersonation and resisting arrest. Quirino, they're crazy, where are you? I've nothing to do with it! I'm Mario De Santis, and he's De Santis, Mario! Wretch, then it is true! How could you do such a thing? No, I don't want that one! I want Mario! He's too ugly. - Shut up! - No, Mario! Don't worry, Sir, I'll handle it. - I want Mario! Mario, it was me! I found him! It was your Quirino! If it were up to the lawyers, you'd never get out! I did it! - Mama, are you OK? The Tribunal. Mama. - Oh, God, here we go. Oh God, what now! In the name of the Italian people, by article 479 of the Criminal Code, this tribunal acquits.. - Valeria, did you hear? Acquitted! .. of the Code for not having committed the deed, and orders the immediate release if not detained for another reason. - Mario! In this moment, I must inform Mario De Santis, who is present of having incriminated himself.. - What, Sir! - Nothing. .. the crime of autocalumny! Autocalumny, what's that? - Don't worry, it's a misdemeanor of 1-3 years. Because having confessed before this Court, he blamed himself for the crime of bigamy, which he knew had never happened. This is the warrant. - The warrant? - The warrant! Sir, where is the Honorable? Have him come right away! Calm down. - You hear him? A warrant? - You'll see. But I was acquitted. - The arrest warrant. - What warrant! Sir! If I get my hands on you! You dirty bastard! Sooner or later, I'll get out! And I'll kill you and that other geezer! Criminals, crooks! Let go of me, let go of me! They get in their messes and expect us to work miracles! PRISON I gladly accepted the request to help you because the case interests me in a very particular way. I've studied it deeply, I think it's a case of mythomania complicated by a form of amnesia with a hysterical character. I had a similar case in.. '23. - In '23. There had recently happened a.. a.. The March on Rome. - Eh, good times! - Yes, good times. - Honorable! The march on Rome? - Good times because we were younger then. And this little one here was in junior high! - I went to vocational school, Sir. Besides, I wasn't born yet. - Yes, how time flies! "Ruit hora" as says.. um... - Horace. - Horace. I was saying, our case is one of mythomania. The word comes from the Greek: mitos, myth, mania, mania. It's formed in the psyche, in the subconscious, a sort of gap. It lowers, it lowers blinds that.. Blocks the memory. - No, not exactly. It lowers the blinds.. yeah, fine, that blocks the memory. Excuse me, Sir, did you see that guy? Can it really be him? That's not a man but a gnome, a runt! - Papa, what do you know, excuse me? It's a question of the subconscious, as the counselor rightly said. It all depends on the fact that if it lowers we call it blinds. We all have our blinds. Oh, perfect! You have believed in good faith, and we'll support you with our doctrine that he was the other. In these long years of solitude you created from reality a totally ideal image that matched the other. Don't worry, ma'am, I'll take care of you. Thank you. Sir, excuse me, what about Mario? Mario, who is Mario? - What do you mean? Mario De Santis, her husband. - No. I meant the other Mario. I've abandoned him to his fate. - He behaved very badly. Did you send him the bill? - I don't think now's the time. Do you think, they'll condemn him, Sir? - It depends on who defends him. If it gets into the hands of any old pettifogger.. - He's toast! Poor Mario, he was so nice! - Isolina! Noble Ophelia, get thee to a nunnery! No thank you, Sir. I don't smoke! - Oh, sorry. - Excuse me, sister. These clients are serious. - Yeah? - They have a ton of money. They have the fuel. - Praise God.. May he always be praised. - Always! Bye, Dad. - We must go now. Yes, sister. Be strong, Isolina. Blessed sister, you don't know what it's like to have two husbands. Be brave, daughter. You'll see that you too will find peace here. I have great need of it. PRISON Goodbye, but I hope we don't meet again. But that's the other one! - It's not him. And then? - What about the bail? Counselor, it's not fair! - This is a mistake! One moment, stop! You arrest me again? - Come on, come on! Why did I have to.. - Come on, no stories! - I was freed! They're bringing me back to jail? - Calm down or else. I must leave, I'm an honest man! - Yeah, right. How is this possible? - Goddamn you! Wanted to cheat me again, huh? Get inside! Got it? Here's the walking papers. OK. Goodbye. - Goodbye. Mario! Mario! Valeria! - My Mario! Honey, how are you? - Mario! Tonino, daddy's boy! - Darling, how are you? Fine. - Are you OK? Are you OK, love? Mario! - Quirino! Mario, you're already out? Damn, that sucks. No, I mean I'm glad. Hi, Tonino. - What did you do? Nothing. A classic case of mistaken identity. I'll get a lawyer right away. - A lawyer? Are you crazy? I'll defend myself, instead send me some goodies. Bye, cutie. - Let's go. - Remember: no lawyers! Bye. - Croquettes, cigarettes and sweets! Poor guy. - Are you sure that it's a case of mistaken identity? Who knows, it happens a lot. Just look at me. By the way, Counselor, we're going to have rename Tonino. Why? - Too many Tonino De Santises. True, it can happen. - He's right. Imagine It! - Ah, Tonino! What did he do? - Let's start with changing his undies! How cute, grandpa's little boy! He needs a very hard name that nobody has, because if not.. A hard name like Antenore, for example. No. - She's done. Themistocles. - Calogero! Why not give him Edmondo? Agenore. - No, Aderigo like me. It's a good one. - Asdrubale! Asdrubale is nice. English subtitles by sineintegral@KG ............uFkRip.............. # (0rchestra: Dramatic) (People Chattering) Daddy, you're sure I've never been to Africa before? It looks familiar. You saw the same scenery last summer driving to Las Vegas. 0h, sure. Where Daddy lost all that money at the crap - - Hank! - Table. - (Horn Honking) - Hey, look! A camel! Uh-huh. Course this isn't really Africa. It's the French Morocco. Well, it's Northern Africa. Still seems like Las Vegas. We're just a hundred miles north of the Sahara Desert. I don't know. ln school they call this the Dark Continent. This is twice as bright as Indianapolis. You just wait till we get to Marrakech. - Marrakech? Sounds like a drink. - Mmm. it sure does. (Chuckles) (Horn Honking, Tyres Screeching) (Yelling ln Arabic Language) Wait a minute. Hold on there. What's the matter? (Both Speaking Arabic Language) Well, I sure want to thank you. Without your help, anything might have happened here. My pleasure, monsieur. There are moments in life when we all need a little help. Yeah. Just what was the trouble? Uh... your little boy accidentally pulled off his wife's veil. - 0h. Yeah. - Hank! I want to introduce my wife, Mrs McKenna. - How do you do? - How do you do, madame? My name is Louis Bernard. We thank you very much, Mr Bernard. - That's our son, Hank. - Hello, Hank. Hello. You talk Arab talk. A few words. Why was he angry? It was an accident. But the Muslim religion allows for few accidents. - Yeah, I suppose so. - 0h. - May I? - Yeah, sit down right in front of Jo. 0h, I thought his name was Hank. 0h, it's my wife's name. - J-0. No E. - How different. Short for Josephine. I've called her that so long nobody knows her by any other name. - l do. Mommy. - 0h, yeah. Now, about the accident. A Muslim woman never takes off her veil in public under any circumstances. They feed her intravenously? - No, Hank. - What a big word for such a small boy. (Laughs) I'm a doctor. 0h. Well, he sounds like one. He can spell haemoglobin. He has a little trouble with words like dog and cat. (Laughing) Where do you practise, doctor? Indianapolis, Indiana. Good Samaritan Hospital out there. What brings you to Marrakech? We were attending a medical convention in Paris and I thought, inasmuch as we were in Europe, I'd come and see Morocco again. Daddy liberated Africa. I was stationed up in Casablanca at an army field hospital during the war. - Do you live in Morocco, Mr Bernard? - No. I suppose you came directly from Paris. No, we looked in on Lisbon and Rome. - (Hank) And Casablanca. - And Casablanca. I hope you will have time to truly enjoy Marrakech. Let's see. We'll have, at the most, three days. You will, naturally, be stopping at the Hotel Mamounia or Le Menara? Why do you ask? Because they are hotels for tourists of good taste. 0h. Do you live in France, Mr Bernard? - Sometimes. - Do you eat snails? (Laughing) When I'm lucky enough. If you ever get hungry, our garden back home is full of snails. Thank you for the invitation. That's alright. We tried everything to get rid of them. We never thought of a Frenchman. (Bicycle Bell Ringing) (People Chattering, Bus Horn Honking) (Man Shouting) Here we go. Say, do you want to share a taxi with us to the hotel? That's kind of you, Doctor, but unfortunately I have some business first. - 0h. 0K. - What business are you in, Mr Bernard? I'll be there later and perhaps we might have a drink together. Come up to our suite. We'll have a drink up there. - ln that case, I will take you to dinner. - No, no. That's not fair. I know Marrakech. I can show you an Arab restaurant where the food is different and the manner of eating exotic. That's what we came here for. - How about one of those Arabian nights? - l'd love it. How would you prefer to travel to the hotel, by taxi? - Gee, I don't know. - A wagon! I wanna ride in a wagon! I guess it's a wagon. See you later. Au revoir. I look forward to the cocktails. - Bye. - Goodbye. Hank, you sit up with the driver. How do you like this? A horse-drawn convertible. (Horn Honks) Well, I just saw Louis Bernard talking to that Arab. - What Arab? - The one that was shouting at Hank. They were talking like they were dear friends. Well, he probably knew him before. What does that mean? It means that Mr Bernard is a very mysterious man. What? He seemed perfectly normal to me. Now, what do you really know about him? What do I - l know his name. We were sitting there, we were talking. You don't know anything about this man, and he knows everything about you. 0h, wait. He knows that you live in Indianapolis, Indiana. He knows you're a doctor at the Good Samaritan Hospital. He knows that you attended a medical convention in Paris, and that you stopped off in Rome, Lisbon and Casablanca. Alright. He knows that you served in North Africa in an army field hospital. Honey, it was just a casual conversation, that's all. Darling, you weren't just talking casually. He was asking all kinds of questions, and you were answering them. You might as well have handed him your passport. We just had a conversation. I've got nothing to hide. But I have a feeling that Mr Bernard has. I know this is mysterious Morocco, but we're not gonna lose our head, are we? - l know. I know what it is. - What? You're sore because this fella didn't ask you any questions. - 0h, hardy-har-har. - Hardy-har. (Chuckles) (Chattering ln French) - Well, this eases the pain. - What pain, Mommy? - lt's just an expression. - Hey, can you take care of the driver? - My name is Dr McKenna. - l'll take care of everything. (Speaking French) - Come on. - We're being watched. What? 0h, come on! # (Jo Humming) # Que sera, sera # What will be will be (Hank) # When I was just a little boy # I asked my mother # What will I be - He'll make a fine doctor. - # Will I be handsome # Will I be rich - # Here's what she said to me - Come on, darling. # Que sera, sera # Whatever will be will be # The future's not ours to see # Que sera, sera # What will be will be. Second verse. (Together) # When I was just a child in school # l asked my teacher # What should I try Catch. (Chuckling) # Should I paint pictures # Should I sing songs # This was her wise reply # Que sera, sera - # Whatever will be will be - (Whistling Que sera, sera) # The future's not ours to see # Que sera, sera. 0ops. (Together) # What will be will be May I have this next dance? - Yes. - Alright. # Dum, dee, dum-da-dum # Da-da-da-da # - (Knocking On Door) - 0h, you're divine. - Dinner for the boy. - Yeah, come in. I can't tell you how beautifully your wife sings. - Pretty good, isn't she? - 0h, she's marvellous. Too bad it was interrupted. I've had that same feeling myself many times. Well, everything's fine. The manager has a babysitter for us. Good. Permit me the pleasure of serving you a drink. I would love it. Thank you. Were you on the American stage, Mrs McKenna? Yes, Mr Bernard, I was on the American stage and the London stage and the Paris stage. 0h? I thought perhaps you had seen me in Paris, being French. The theatre requires time, and for me time is often a luxury. Have you ever been to Paris, Mr Bernard? I was born there. 0h. - What business are you in? - l buy... and sell. - What? - Whatever gives the best profit. Now that you're in Marrakech, what are you buying and selling? You know, I would much rather talk about the stage. If you tell me what shows you are in (Knocking On Door) - Would you excuse me? I'll get it. - No, I'll get it. - No, I will. (Speaking French) I'm inquiring for the room of Mr Montgomery. He asked me for a drink, and I - l'm sorry. There's no Montgomery here. Pardon me, monsieur. I regret disturbing you. (McKenna) OK. - May I use your telephone, please? - Sure. - Mommy! - Yes? - I can't cut this meat. - l'll do it for you. (Speaking French) Merci. Allô? (French Continues) (Bernard) D'accord. I'm terribly sorry, but I cannot go to dinner with you tonight. - 0h? - l have neglected an important matter - which now requires my attention. - 0h, I see. - Perhaps another night? - 0h, sure, sure. - Goodbye. - Goodbye. - Bye. - Good night. (McKenna) Good night. - # (Violin) - (Chattering ln French) - Bonsoir, madame, monsieur. - My name's McKenna. Of course. The hotel phoned. Follow me, please. - l'm certain you'll find this comfortable. - Thank you. (Chuckles) Honey, move over here. You're on my dress. Whoop. (Metal Clattering) - (Speaking French) - Yeah. We always wash the hands before eating. Thank you. - Those people are staring at us. - What people? - Right in back of us. - What? - Yes. - Here. They were staring at us in front of the hotel too. Jo, will you please stop imagining things. (Whispering) I'm not. Good evening. You must think me awfully rude. I've been staring at you since I saw you at the hotel. - You are Jo Conway, the Jo Conway? - Yes, I am. I knew I was right. I'm Lucy Drayton, and this is my husband. - How do you do? - We're Dr and Mrs McKenna. My wife tells me Mrs McKenna appeared at the London Palladium. We hardly ever see a show now. Edward is such an old stick-in-the-mud so I have to console myself with your records. I must admit I love em. I'm not one for this terrible be-bop. - Thank you very much. - When are you coming back to London? - Possibly never again, professionally. - 0h. - Don't say you're giving up the stage. - Well, temporarily I am. It's just that I'm a doctor, and a doctor's wife never has much time. What my husband is trying to say is Broadway musical shows are not produced in Indianapolis, Indiana. We could live in New York. I hear that doctors aren't starving there either. It's not that I have any objection to working in New York. It's just that it'd be hard for my patients to come from Indianapolis for treatment. (Mrs Drayton) I'm always saying the wrong thing. I'm sorry. (Jo) Not in the least. Dr McKenna, do you - Why don't all of you sort of turn around here, or something. It's kind of - kind of hard on the neck. (Mr Drayton) It's in one of our English counties. It's not what you'd call a farm. It's more of a small holding. Here we are. - 0h. - lsn't that fascinating? Yes. - There we are. - Uhh. - Hey, they look good. - Surprise. 0h, they look wonderful. Ah, looks like bread. - We're not going to eat all that, are we? - No. - (All Laughing) - ls that the way you do it? Yes, just break it, just like this. It won't break. 0h, no. Well, I'm gonna - There. - ls that the way you do it? - That's quite alright. That was a tough one. Does it chew any better than it tears? - ls it fattening? - l imagine it must be. No, it's pretty good, hon. - Well, I - - No plate. - No? - No. No knives and forks either. I understand you're supposed to dig in. 0h, allow me to show you, will you? You use only the first two fingers and thumb of the right hand. You don't use the other two fingers, and always the left hand in the lap. - (McKenna) 0h, I see. - May I show you? - Ju-Just these two fingers, huh? - l'll hold it for you. - See. - There we are. Well, I, uh... uh... Boy, could I use this hand. - l can't, uh... - lt's alright. - lt's good stuff. - No one minds. - lt's messy, but worth it. - l'll practise on an olive. 0h, honey, it's wonderful. Here. Take a bite. - Good? - Yeah. Tell me - does this way of eating have to do with religion, or something? I think it's more social than religious. I don't know. It seems like if you have four good fingers and a thumb you oughta be able to use all of em. - lt's very good. - Very good. Well, as I was saying, I was quite happy farming my bit of land when these United Nations fellows started worrying me. Edward was a big noise in the Ministry of Food during the war. So we pulled ourselves up at the roots, and here we are, United Nations Relief. Sounds like interesting work. I'm preparing a report on soil erosion at the moment. Parts of this country are not unlike your dustbowl formation. A thin layer of topsoil, and underneath, so - (Speaking French) How do you like that? First he promises to take us to dinner - Yeah. Well, we just met him today, honey. You can't expect him to change his whole life. Ben, what's the matter with you? Nothing. What's the matter with you? I just don't want to be insulted. 0h, you're not being insulted. You can't blame him for turning down an old married couple like us. - We're not an old married couple! - Alright. Alright, he's a heel. I don't understand him, but I'm beginning not to like what he's doing to our whole night. (Clears Throat) I must do some shopping in the market tomorrow. I do hope it will be fine. Well, not too fine. I know our English weather is pretty awful, but sometimes, we don't realise when we're lucky. All this sunshine day after day, well, it doesn't seem natural somehow. - l want to get up. - Ben, don't. I know you. 0nce you get worked up, you start a fight. Will you come to the market with us tomorrow? As a matter of fact, Louis Bernard, the big buyer from Paris, was going to take us to the marketplace tomorrow. - Yeah. I think I'll cancel out. - Sit down and eat your dinner. - We - We'd love to go. - 0h, we'd be delighted. I don't know why he gets so worked up over unimportant things. (Exclaims In French) Non, Monsieur! Monsieur. (Speaking French) (People Chattering) (Drumming, Chanting) # Ho! Ho! Ho! # Ho, ho, ho, ho! (Yells) (Speaking Arabic Language) What's he saying, Mrs Drayton? He's the teller of tales, Hank. Isn't this exciting? Just like the county fair when I was a kid. They got everything but the balloon ascension. (Chuckling) What's so funny? Did you ever see a balloon ascension? I was thinking. You know what's paying for these three days in Marakesh? - Me. - Mrs Campbell's gallstones. - 0h. - (Laughing) - You know the purse I bought in Paris? - Yeah. Bill Edward's tonsils. (Hank) Mommy! Daddy! Daddy, come with us! We're gonna see the medicine man. - Maybe you can learn something, Daddy. - l wouldn't be surprised. Anytime he starts wearing you out - l haven't enjoyed the market so much. - l never thought of it that way before. - What? I'm wearing Johnny Matthews' appendix. What about the boat trip? It took two boys, one girl, and two sets of twins, didn't it? And Mrs Morgan's hives. (Laughing) - How are the acrobats today? - Wonderful. Watch that kid that goes clear to the top there. - l'll see you later. - Yes. All the way home we'll be riding on Herbie Taylor's ulcers. And Allida Markle's asthma. Now if we could just get four cases of seven-year-itch we could retire. 0r if Mrs Yarrow's really gonna have triplets, we could completely redecorate the house. What would they say if they heard us? 0ne of the reasons I came to a place like Marakesh is so we could say things like that without everybody hearing us. I'd like to say something where nobody could hear us. This is the safest place. When are we going to have another baby? You're the doctor. You have all the answers. Yeah, but this is the first time I've ever heard the question. Mommy, look! Come here! Look. Sewing machines. Looks like a television commercial. - Having a good time, Hank? - l guess so. He's delighted with everything. (Whistle Blowing, Men Yelling) Hank! Hank, come back here! - Hank! - Hank! - lt's best to keep out of trouble, Hank. - What's going on? Looks like the police are chasing somebody. (Angry Shouting) Aaah! Hey. Hey, look there. You better stand back. Go on. Stand back. Monsieur McKenna. I'm Louis Bernard. (Whispering) A man, a statesman, he is to be killed, assassinated, in London soon, very soon. Tell them in London Ambrose Chappell. Chappell. (Crowd Murmuring) - Ben, who is he? - Louis Bernard. - You got something to write on? - Louis Bernard! He's dead. (Whistle Blowing) (Speaking French) (Replies in French) He says, "Do you know this man?" Yes, we do know him. He's Louis Bernard, the French - Louis Bernard? (Speaks French) Monsieur and Madame McKenna. (French Continues) He wants you to go to police headquarters to make a statement. - 0K. - 0ur friends have to go to the station. - l'd better go with them. - Yes, of course. (Siren Wailing) (Brakes Squealing) You don't want your little boy to go, do you? But I want to go to the police station. I think it's better if I take him back to the hotel. - Would you, please. - Certainly. Thank you. Be good, Hank. - (Speaking French) - We're to be going. Heaven knows when we shall be back. Why do you suppose he turned up in an Arab outfit and wearing make-up? What's more important: why was he killed? I bet he was a spy or something. What were you writing down? What was he telling you? I'll tell you later. - (Siren Wailing) - What is it? l-l just feel kinda funny. Why should he pick me out to tell? After what we said about him last night. When we get in with the inspector, I'll do my best to cut the red tape. - Fine. Fine. - l'm going to stretch a bit. I'm afraid the questions will go till doomsday if you admit you knew him. I don't know him at all. We met yesterday on a bus. They're a cynical lot, these French. They might refuse to believe that. Well, they've got to believe it. Look at it from their point of view. They saw this poor fellow whispering to you, and then they saw you write something down. Are you gonna show them what you wrote? (Phone Ringing) (Speaking French) Thank you, Mr Drayton, but a translator will not be necessary. Won't you come inside, madame, monsieur? Do me the kindness to wait. I might have questions for you later. (Horn Honking, People Chattering) Passports, please. You came to French Morocco four days ago? That's right. You are a doctor, sir? Yes, I'm a surgeon, a tourist and American citizen. Three good reasons why you should have nothing in common with Louis Bernard. - l didn't have. - (Bicycle Bell Ringing) You were in Paris recently? Yes, I was attending a medical convention. You came to Marrakech in the same bus. You had an aperitif with him in your hotel room. You ate at the same restaurant last night. Yes, but at different tables. So Louis Bernard is a stranger to you? I met him for the first time yesterday on a bus. And yet, out of 5,000 people in a great marketplace, he comes to you when he is about to die. is that the action of a casual acquaintance? I know absolutely nothing about Louis Bernard. Not even, I suppose, that he was an agent of the Deuxieme Bureau. The - What's that? Perhaps you have also never heard of the American fbi? Now, wait. I - lt would be so much easier for both of us if you would cease to pretend. Look here - The dead man found out what he had been sent here to discover. That's why he was killed. He told you what he had discovered. Why? Because he placed complete confidence in you. You not only ask the questions, you answer em too, don't you? Let me ask you a question. Assuming that Bernard trusted me as implicitly as you say, then I'd never reveal anything he said to me. Even Americans, I suppose, find it sometimes desirable to betray a confidence. Let's get some things straight here. I'm a tourist. I'm travelling for pleasure. I somehow got involved in this very unfortunate incident, and I came here to make a simple statement of fact and not be subjected to a police grilling. - l would like you - - No, you let me finish. - (Knocking) - Entrez. (Both Speaking French) Wait a minute. Did he say I was wanted on the telephone? I'll take that call now. - But, sir - - You just take it easy. - Hello. - (Man) Dr McKenna? This is Dr McKenna. Who's this? If you tell even one word of what Louis Bernard whispered to you your little boy will be in serious danger. Remember, say nothing. (Receiver Clicks) Hello? (Tapping Receiver Button) Drayton? Didn't you tell me your wife was going to take Hank back to the hotel? - l thought so, yes. - Call her up. Somebody just called me, threatened me about Hank. Call her up, see if he's alright. (Speaking French) Hotel Mamounia? (Speaking French) Bien. Merci. My wife doesn't answer. (Continues ln French) Concierge? (Continues In French) Oh. Bien. Merci. 0h, ye - Uh... (French) What's your room number? 414. (French Continues) Bien. Merci. I can't believe it. - She hasn't come back yet, huh? - At least, nobody's seen her. Alright, now you go back to the hotel. You - And... see if you can find out what's going on. It's so unlike my wife. I'll take care of the police and join you as soon as I can. Look here. Don't worry. It's probably some stupid misunderstanding. If I find anything out before you get back, I'll telephone you here. - Don't waste any time. - Goodbye. Who was it, Ben? It was the, uh... the, uh... concierge at the hotel. He found out we were being held by the police. He just called to see if there was anything he could do. - That's very nice of him. - Yes, I thought so. I told him if we weren't back there in 15 minutes, for him to call the American Consulate at Casablanca. But, monsieur, if you had only told me in the first place that you wished to consult with your consul. Yeah, yeah. Come on, Jo. There is just one small formality. I must request you to sign a statement. If it doesn't take too long, of course. Wait a moment. I will send for a typist. (Hoofbeats) Ben? Yeah? Aren't you going to let me see the message? I don't - l... I don't think I should. Darling, I'm not the police inspector. I think that I should see it. Ben, why didn't you give this to the police? - Because I didn't want to. - But, Ben, a man's life - ls at stake, yeah l know. I just - l-l don't know what's the right thing to do. We should go back to the hotel, pick up Hank and get out of here. - Maybe. - Think about Hank. What a terrible thing this is for him, seeing a man murdered right before his eyes. - It's a horrible shock to a little boy. - l know. Why don't you take that note, give it to the American Consulate, and let's not get any more involved, please. Why don't you get the key? I'll take care of the driver. Alright. Say, uh... you know a Mrs Drayton? - English lady. - That's right. Did you see her coming from the marketplace in the last hour? - No, sir. - Wait a minute. This is very important. - She had my little boy with her. - No, sir. - What about Mr Drayton? - Mr Drayton checked out. - He what? - Checked out. - But he couldn't have. - Yes, sir, he did. Mr Drayton, the Englishman with the horn-rimmed glasses. Yes, sir. He checked out. (Sighs) I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted. I'll call Mrs Drayton, tell her she can bring Hank back. - Just hold that call a minute, Jo. - Why? Because I asked you to! Ben, are we about to have our monthly fight? I hope not. Well, then stop acting like that. I merely said I was going to call Mrs Drayton. Just a minute. Wait a minute. Just a minute. Just a minute. I want you to take these. They'll relax you. Relax me? I'm so relaxed I'm tired. - Maybe you need them. - These are for you, Jo. - l'm the doctor. Here. - Ben - You know what happens when you get excited and nervous. Here. Do me a favour. Six months ago you told me I took too many pills. Six months ago you weren't a witness to a murder. You've been excited. You've been talking a blue streak. - You've been walking around in circles. - l haven't! Jo, I make my living knowing when and how to administer medicine. You'll feel better if you take these. Nothing bad? Look at us; do you call this a life? First my father, now Beatrice. I'm worse than him, much more wretched and vile. I don't even have the courage to be cruel. When will it end? It feels like I'm sinking more and more everyday, until eventually they'll unmask us. It won't happen, I promise. You have to forget. I would do anything for you. What do I care about Beatrice? For me, there's nothing else in the world but you. It's your fault it's gone this far. What does it matter now who's to blame? Perhaps all is not lost... You still deny you murdered your father? - Naturally. But you confessed. - Anyone will confess under torture. If you're innocent, there's still a chance to save yourself. Admit you saw Calvetti murder your father, and that you lied to protect him. We could consider you the victim of, shall we say, "an unhappy romance". Your youthfulness has moved the judges... and there are rumours going around Rome that we've been too hard on you. Just for once, you could help justice. Think about it... You can still live. Of course, we can't absolve you... you're guilty of perjury. But you'd only be placed in a convent for a length of time determined by the court. And, when the echoes of this trial are silenced... it won't be impossible to obtain a pardon for you. You could have a normal life... You could get married, have children. Why do you insist on defending that man? Why? You ruined yourself for him. And what has he done for you? Did he give himself up to save you? No! He's abandoned you. You don't know what you're talking about; he hasn't abandoned me. And I can't betray him. Not now, or ever. We must apprehend this Calvetti. Do the impossible. Be quick. You're crazy; they're looking for you. - I came here to give myself up. There's nothing else I can do. - No. But it's me they want. I can't let you die in my place. Watch out! The guards. Everything in order? - Everything. I brought her meal. Don't worry. I'm not here to hurt you. If it was up to me, I'd let you kill whoever you want. Bon appetit. Save yourself. It would be crazy to give yourself up. What good would that do? Everyone's against us. Lucrezia, Giacomo, even Martina. - Martina? The maid. She told the judges I had ordered her to let you into the castle. Martina said that? They must have paid her to make a false statement. We must find her and force her to tell us everything she knows. Meeting me has cost you dearly. - Don't say that. Without you, I would have no reason to live. But with you, I can handle anything. I'll find Martina. I'll get her to confess. No matter what. Have faith. You'll see: we haven't lost yet. For the love of God, hurry up! I'm not risking my life for 20 Scudi. I think I heard a woman scream. - You hear women everywhere... I'm sure I'm not mistaken. Well, I didn't hear anything, so let's go back to our quarters. Let go of me. - If you scream, I'll kill you. What did I do to you? What do you want from me? I know you told the judges that Beatrice paid you to let me into the castle... Why? It's not true. You lied in court. Who paid you? Tell me, or I'll strangle you. Shout if you want - you're the one they're looking for, not me. You're finished. All I have to do is call them. You're right. I'm finished. Thanks to you, they think I'm a murderer. So it won't cost me anything to twist your neck! Who paid you? Who? Who paid you? Stop! You're hurting me. Who paid you? Marzio. Marzio! Marzio Catalano? The castle guard? He's the one who cut the balcony palings. I saw him leaving Don Francesco's room with a saw in his hand. I didn't understand what he was doing at the time... but when the lord died, he gave me some money... A lot. So I wouldn't talk. Then, at the trial, he gave me some more. I didn't want to hurt Beatrice, or you... but I was afraid. There was nothing else I could do; he threatened me. But who gave him the money? Marzio doesn't have a penny. That I do not know. Ask him yourself. Having examined all the evidence... the court of Rome finds Beatrice Cenci guilty of the murder... of her father, Don. Francesco Cenci, Roman patrician, and decrees that she must pay for this unnatural crime with the death penalty. In light of her age, and as a sign of clemency... punishment by quartering, which is expected for patricide... has been commuted to a less painful death by decapitation. There were two of them. They shot me. Then it was Giacomo. He ordered you to cut the balcony palings. He gave you the money to bribe Martina. - He's a rogue. I've always been a faithful servant, and I would never betray him. Why did you lie before? - I was afraid. But you must avenge my death. There... In that trunk. I wrote everything down, in case something happened. Give it to the judge, so Beatrice will be saved... and they'll hang them, him, and that whore of a mistress. Lucrezia? - In there, hurry. Take this letter to Judge Ranieri. It's important. Judge Ranieri's office? - Up there. What's going on? Forgive me, sir, but it's very important... It concerns the death of Francesco Cenci. Who gave you this? - A wounded man heading for the city. Who was he? - I don't know; he died soon after. Watch the doors. Don't let anyone out. Subtitled by Ryuma Draxtra for Karagarga - August 2011 Subtitles: Luís Filipe Bernardes Miss Kelly, good morning. Where's Mr. Sabourin? He's still asleep, miss. No, he's not. He left strict orders not to be disturbed, miss. Miss Kelly, please! Miss Kelly! Clementi! Clementi... I'll call the police. Stand back! Stand back! Upstairs, Captain. Alright, everybody. Stay down here, Captain's orders. Stay down here. Nobody's allowed up there. Sorry, sorry, everybody. Stay down here. Hi, Captain. Hi. Get me the lab report as soon as you can. Right, Captain. How long had he been dead? I'd say three hours at the most. Cause of death? Gunshot. I'll give you a full report after the autopsy. Okay to move him now? We've got all we need. Yeah, go ahead. Stretcher. Who'd want to kill you, do you suppose? Everybody. Yeah. Who found him? Miss Kelly. She was first in the room. I followed immediately after, sir. Who's Miss Kelly? She works for Mr. Sabourin, sir. Yeah? And where should she be found? She's in his mother's room, sir. You mean his mother lives here with him? Just since she came from Europe, yes, sir. Let's look over the rest of the room. Show me his personal things. Yes, sir. This way, sir. It couldn't have been robbery. Yeah, if it was they overlooked a lot of cash and jewelry in these boxes. Diamond cufflinks, diamond rings, women's jewelry. Look at this, gold handcuffs. Must be a dozen of them in here. Yeah, they're all over town. He liked to think his women were his slaves. Show me his mother's room. Yes, sir. This way, sir. I'm sorry to break in. We're police. I'm her doctor. You can't disturb her now. He can ask me anything he wants. I'm sorry I have to do this, mam. But do you know anything about this? No. I know nothing about who killed my son. Do you know anything about this? Yes. I know all about it. You could say I killed him, I suppose. If he'd never met me, he might still be alive. He was the most hated man on earth. But he could have been one of the great men of the world. He had a big mind. When they talk about him they'll be talking about a giant. A genius. Some people called him an evil genius. Go on. He lifted me out of the gutter. He made me somebody. He was the only man I ever loved. I was only really happy when I was with him. Could you tell us anything about his activities? Well... He started his career only a few years ago in Europe. It doesn't seem possible. He could have accomplished so much... in such a short time. Clementi. Well, aren't you going to ask me in? What are you staring at? Is this the way a man greets his own brother? They told me you had died in that concentration camp. Who told you that? Everyone who came back. So I came back from the dead. Where's mother? I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? Haven't you been taking care of her? I don't have too much money. What about all the money that I gave you to hold for me? I bought all these things. I haven't been able to sell many of them. It may interest you to know that some time ago I heard that mother was starving in a little town called Podesin. I couldn't get money even for myself. Where's Zina? Have you been taking care of her like I asked? Yes. Well, at least I can thank you for that. You're going to have to sell some of this stuff. I need the money. I'm going to marry Zina. Where is she? Zina! They said you were killed in a German camp. Did Gerry tell you that too? Yes. Gerry told me you were dead. Well... I'm glad I'm here to dispute that. I married Gerry. I'm his wife. You didn't even have to tell me. Mother always said that you were the one with brains. I was the dreamer. I was the dreamer they took to the Nazi prison. I loved you, Zina. That was the dream. And what became of it? Don't you remember what you used to say to me? You swore you'd wait for me. She was convenient for you, wasn't she, because she was here. You took very good care of Mother and Zina. Very good care. What are you going to do? Nothing. I'll leave you to each other. Are you alright? Yes, thank you. Oh, wait. Take me to the police station. Your name? Clementi Sabourin. What do you want? I have some valuable information. Information? Concerning whom? Concerning a very rich man... who is in this country illegally, forged papers. I'm sure you'll know what to do with his very considerable assets. Anything we impound goes to the government. Naturally. What's this man's name? If I tell you, I want the necessary papers to take me to America. If you are telling the truth... it will be arranged. Alright. He's living here under the name of Gerry Monte. His real name is Sabourin. He's originally from Czechoslovakia. He runs a little antique shop near the Porta San Giuseppe. Treasures stolen from all over the world. Thank you. By the way, do you have any papers? No. Lock him up. Your information proved to be correct. The man had very considerable assets. This is enough money for your fare. This is a passport to America. You are now a French citizen. The man you caught will never know about this? You mean your brother? He will never know. Did anything happen to him? He resisted my men. He died. He died? Yes. It was one of those unfortunate things. Your first look? Yes, I had only seen pictures before. It's a big country. Millions of people beyond those buildings. All of them needing something, buying something. And what do you sell them? Oil. Oh, oil. Are you an honest man? What kind of a question is that? I don't see anything wrong with the question. Did you make your way honestly? Of course I did. Isn't that the only way? Is it? You know, I have a friend he's been an honest man all his life but it didn't get him anywhere. So he decided to join forces with the devil. He said that the devil would watch over him and protect him. And what happened to him? Oh, he's very rich, very prosperous now. But is he happy? Supremely. The race just isn't even when we're born. Some people a head start. All you have to do is run a little faster than the next fellow. With the devil at your side. Please have your luggage ready for customs inspection. Oh, "S" is over there. I didn't get your name. Clementi Sabourin. Have my card. I'm Wilson of Wilson Oil of Canada. Thank you. Look me up. I'll do that. Please have your luggage ready for customs inspection. Check, please, sir. Uh, officer. Yes, sir? I seem to have lost my wallet. When did you last have it? I'm sure I had it when I was standing here in line. Was there anyone near you? There was a man standing there? Which direction did he go? I think he went out that way, but... I'm not sure that he took it. Better come with me. Did everything go alright? Not now. Hi, Kelly. My regular, Willy. Right. Two more beers, Willy. Yeah. Can I buy you a drink? I got one. Hi, buddy, what'll you have? This is for hers, and I'll have a cognac. Thanks. You just get off the boat? Yes, how did you know? It shows all over. Where are you from? France. Hm... where did you learn to speak English so good? I studied at a great school in Oxford. Oxford... I oughta go there. They'd be more likely to study you there. Are you being insulting? No, I just meant that you'd make a fascinating course in anatomy. Thanks. How come you just get off the boat and head straight for a bar? Looking for company. Hm, what sort of company? Your sort. How do you know what my sort is? Well, you're not a school teacher. I don't know. I could teach you your abc's. In that case I might be a willing pupil. Are you one of those rich refugees coming here looking for more money? And sympathy. Well, I 'm not in the sympathy market yet but I guess we're both in the money market. What're you gonna do in America? Oh, maybe I'll steal a little. What do you do? I float, I drift. I look... That's the man, officer. What's the trouble? You were on the ship that just came in? I'm awfully sorry about this, but my wallet was taken out of my pocket while I was getting my baggage. Would you care to search me? With your permission. That's not my wallet. Clementi Sabourin. Is that your name? Yes. Is that what people do to each other in America? Everybody frisking everybody else? I'm awfully sorry. Tell me, uh... did you have very much money in that wallet? I had about five hundred in currency, a cashier's check for twenty thousand dollars... Of course I can have that stopped at the bank. But there was a very important document. Well, I'm sorry you couldn't find it. And so am I. This man does not have your wallet, sir. We'll have to go back to the pier. Whoever took that wallet was about the most stupid sneak thief in the world. Why do you say that? Because the risks are to great and the reward is too small. I always say that if you're going to steal at all, steal in a way that will be admired. Let's get out of here, hm? Where will we go? Anywhere. I know the perfect place. First time I've ever been in a subway. What a fascinating experience. Everybody who comes here wants to ride in the subway. You'll get over it. Say, what about those abc's you were telling me about? We'll get to that. This is where I live. What kind of a district is this? See for yourself. You know Park Avenue is only three blocks away? But I'll never make it. You know, I think I'm gonna like you. You won't tire my mind. I might wear it out my way. Go on in. It's safe. Thanks. Fix yourself a drink. Fix me one too. What'll you have? Bourbon. How? Straight. Okay. Aren't you rushing things? I find you irresistible. I'll bet. You know something? Take off three inches of paint and you'd be quite attractive. How do you like our country? After tonight I'm going to become a citizen. After tonight you'll be entitled to citizenship. Well, how long are you gonna be? Can't you see I'm busy? Who was that? My husband. Your husband? Relax, we're not married anymore, we're just good friends. He lives down the hall. Oh, come on, let's get out of here. Where to? I'll change my dress and I'll show you the town. Which one? Oh, I don't know. You're a better judge at that than I am. This is my new one. Say, that's pretty. I'll get into it. I won't be a minute. Well, uh... take your time. You married? No. Never been? No. How come? I don't know. It never occurred to me to get married. You know I've never been in love in my life? Is something wrong with me? There must have been something wrong with your husband. Oh, he was alright. I just didn't love him. Love is a very unsatisfactory thing anyway. Life is a regular battle. There. Chuck! Chuck! What's the matter? Chuck, he stole my money. Wait, I'll get him. Chuck! Alright, get back. Back on the curb. Watch out, let me through! Get out of my way! Chuck! Chuck! Oh, no... The man suddenly darted out in front of the truck. I couldn't miss him. Is he dead? Yes, well, I'm due at the hospital in the next thirty minutes. Yes, I've tried the drug out. It's nothing short of miraculous. You know they're going to announce it at the Medical Convention in Atlantic City. Oh, by the way, what's the stock selling at? Two dollars? I think I'll have my broker tomorrow morning buy me about three hundred shares. Bye-bye. Doctor, this is an emergency. This man has been shot. Come on in. Let's have a look at you. Here you go. Let's get some of these things off so we can take a look at it. Easy... There. Now get up here on the table. Alright. Now turn a little bit. Let me take a look at this. When did this happen? Just a little while ago on the street. Hm-hmm. You know I'm gonna have to report this to the police. You know who did it? A sniper, I think. Hand me a shot, please. Sniper, huh? Is it serious? Well, if you mean are you gonna die? I don't think so. You know, one of the greatest dangers arising from a gunshot wound is infection, but... they have a cure for that now. This just came out. I've had some very dramatic results with it. What's it called? Penicillin. There we are. My forceps. Does that hurt? No. What's the name of the company making it? Wentworth Drug. This is gonna hurt somewhat. I've got to remove the bullet. Hello, is this Nielson and Co. Brokerage Office? Give me a customer's man, please. Hello, my name is Clementi Sabourin. I'm at the Savoy Drake. I want to open a new account. What are the margin requirements? Fifty percent? Then buy me twenty thousand shares of Wentworth Drug at the market price. What is the stock selling at? Two dollars? I'll be down at your office with the money before the market opens. What is your name? Mr. O'Hara. Thank you very much. Can you tell me where I can find Mr. O'Hara? That desk over there, sir. Thank you. Mr. O'Hara? Yes. My name is Clementi Sabourin. I spoke to you on the telephone. Oh, yes, you're the gentleman who wants to open a margin account. Now, would you mind signing this, please, just a formality... and I'll fill out the rest. Can you tell me the name of your bank? I can do better than that. I brought you a cashier's check for twenty thousand dollars. Well, good. I'll deposit it and bring you your receipt. Now, that's twenty thousand shares of Wentworth Drug at two dollars. That's right. Looking for a stock to buy? Why? Do you know of a good one? Have you heard of Wentworth Drug? I don't use drugs. How much does it sell for? Two dollars. I never buy cheap stocks. Well, this one may become expensive. Somebody just bought twenty thousand shares. Yes, so I see. You just bought twenty thousand at two, Mr. Sabourin. Thank you. You bought it. What if it goes down to a dollar? Then I'll buy more. Look. Still think it will go to a dollar? I've got to get some. Mr. O'Hara! Yes, Mrs. Ryan? Get me fifty thousand shares at two. You'll never get it at two. Not after that announcement. Look! Three and a half... Three and five eighths... Three and seven eighths. Alright, buy it at four. I'll try. You knew something. Well, I told you. It was too late when you told me. If I'd had the pleasure of knowing you before. Do you think he's going to get it at four? No, but it's a good buy at five. I couldn't get it. Alright, buy it at five. I'm sorry, it's going to six. Buy it at six. I won't buy it at all. Cancel the order. You mustn't get mad just because you missed a good buy. Who gave you this tip? I specialize in tips. Give me your card. I'm afraid I don't have one with me. But I'll be happy to call you when I get the next tip. I usually don't do this. I'll call you, Mrs. Ryan. And if you're not in, I'll leave the message with your husband. I have no husband, I am a widow. Who was your husband? Peter Ryan. Peter Ryan! Did you know him? Everybody knew Peter Ryan, the financial wizard. We were married in Europe. He brought me to this country. A short while after he died. Very thoughtful of him. What did you say? What a spectacular rise! As of now you have made $120.000. Congratulations. Shall I sell? Let's just hang on for a while. I'll be back shortly. Is Mrs. Ryan in? No, she isn't. She's expected. Well... may I ask who's calling, please? Clementi Sabourin. And may I ask who you are? Why, I'm Mrs. Ryan's secretary. Oh. Have you worked for Mrs. Ryan long? A few months. Why? I'm an investigator. For whom? For myself. I'm the prying kind. Tell me, my dear. Where do you come from? I'm from Texas. Oh, yes, I've heard of it. Well, may I say that Mrs. Ryan has found herself a most attractive secretary. Thank you, sir. Well... Hello. Hello. How did you get here so soon? Hannah! I just left from the broker's office. My driver knows all the shortcuts in New York. I must say I didn't expect you that soon. Neither did your secretary. Stephanie, dear, you may leave now. The stock is up to eight and three eighths. I've made $120.000 so far. Good for you. You need me. Maybe you need me even more. Is that your husband? Yes. Was that painted before or after he died? Six months he sat for that. Maybe that's what killed him. You are a wicked man. Tell me, where did you learn the market so thoroughly? I studied in Europe. How would you like to make $12.000 cash immediately? I would love to. What do I have to do for it? Just write me a check for $20.000. Do you really think I'm an idiot? Look, I will sell you four thousand shares of Wentworth Drug at $5 a share. The stock is selling at 8 dollars. You make three points. That's roughly $3.000 less commission. It's a gift. Why will you do that? Well... let's say it's because you appeal to me. $12.000 is a pretty good price. But I cannot be bought. I might be influenced, but never bought. Mr. O'Hara, please. Mr. O'Hara, this is Mrs. Ryan. What is the latest quote on the Wentworth Drug? I see. Would you please transfer four thousand shares from Mr. Sabourin's account to mine? He's right here. He'll confirm it. O'Hara, it's alright to transfer the stock to Mrs. Ryan's account. I'll be in the office later and consign all the papers then. Alright, goodbye. Here. Thank you. Now we have a deal. Right. The stock is now up to ten. What? Now I've made roughly $20.000 since your offer. I outsmarted you, Mr. Sabourin. Well, I always admire anyone who can outsmart me. Goodbye. Thank you very much, Mrs. Dodds. Oh, Mr. Sabourin. I have that transfer ready for you to sign. Alright. What's the latest quote on Wentworth Drug? Fifteen. As of now you have made a profit of $200.000. That's not a bad day's work. Where did you get that tip? I have some friends. Now, look. This is Mrs. Ryan's check for $20.000 made out to me. Do me a favor and get me my check back. You mean that cashier's check you gave me? Yes. I don't know if I can. It may have gone down to the bank. I've got to have it back. Why? It's just as good a check as Mrs. Ryan's. I know, It's just that I've got to use that check for a transaction after business hours. Nobody'll honor a personal check. Oh, I see. It's endorsed. I know. Miss Watkins. Yes, Mr. O'Hara? Do you still have Mr. Sabourin's check for $20.000? What was the transaction? Wentworth Drug. Sabourin, Sabourin, Sabourin. Oh, I'm sorry. That went to the bank about an hour ago. Is something wrong? Oh, no. No. I'm sorry. It went to the bank. How long ago? About an hour ago with our last deposits. We make several a day. We've got to get it back. Get it back? It's absolutely a matter of life and death. Well, how do I pull the check out of the bank? You know the manager of the bank, don't you? Yes. Tell him you want it back. But that's highly irregular, I... Look, get me that check back and I'll give you $5.000. Well, I'll try. I don't guarantee anything, but I'll try. I'll be waiting for you in the coffee shop. Something else, sir? Another cup of coffee, please. You've had six. Well, make it seven. Yes, sir. Hello? This is Mr. Sabourin. Has Mr. O'Hara come back yet? No, sir, he hasn't. By the way, Mr. Sabourin, Wentworth Drug is up two more points. Isn't that nice? Yes, yes, thank you. Well? Let's talk about me. What do I get? What do you mean? $5.000. Oh, no. No, Mr. Sabourin. That check was stubbed. You bought stock with a bad check. That's fraud. People go to prison for things like that. Never mind the sermon. Have you got the check? Let's talk about a better arrangement. Alright. Call your shots. And so I can. I'm now your junior partner. An interest in the business to be mutually agreed on. What if I say no? Then you don't get the check. You've got a deal. It's lucky the bank teller was a girl I've known for several years. You know, a man called Thornston Weblin once said business is the art of getting something for nothing. Yes? Hello. Is Mr. Sabourin here? Yes, he is, madam. I'm Mrs. Ryan. He's expecting me. You know, the only thing I don't like about this painting is the face. Oh, well, we'll have the face changed for you. Hello. Hello. This is Miss Howell of the real estate office. Mrs. Ryan. How do you do? What is this all about? I'm buying this house, if you approve. Louis XIV? Absolutely authentic. And the staircase came from Switzerland. Ah! Do you like it? I know this house. I have been often here when Jimmy Edwards owned it. The banker. It brought him lots of luck. He made millions. I'll take it. You'll never be sorry, Mr. Sabourin. Isn't this a rather large house for you? Oh, I don't know. In Europe I lived in a palace for some time. So did I. But when the king was unfaithful... I moved. You know the price is $300.000 furnished. I'll give you a fairly substantial deposit. $5.000 in cash. I'll sigh the rest of the papers tomorrow. You really make up your mind fast, don't you? Oh, you! Yes, sir? Who do you work for? No one, sir. Now that you have bought the house. You're working for me now. Thank you, sir. I want dinner for two tonight. The best you can get. Get a cook, maid, anything you want. Yes, sir. And thank you, sir. In view of the fact that the deposit was so small this procedure is a little unusual. Miss Howell, would you please leave my house? I have some very important business to discuss with Mrs. Ryan. Come into the garden, my dear. How do you like it? It's lovely. All those wonderful flowers. Oh, that's nothing, I'm going to have some orchids flown in from Hawaii. But what a beautiful setting. You know, a place like this inspires romance, don't you think? How long is it since you lost your husband? Five years. And you've been without a companion all that time? I'm doing alright. I want you to give a party. Invite all your friends. We'll celebrate. Celebrate what? My making $20.000? That's nothing. Well, there'll be much more in the future. Future? I'm going to Europe soon. Why go to Europe. I've brought Europe to you. You're a fast worker, aren't you? In my country I'm considered a slowpoke. We weren't even formally introduced yet. I think we know each other pretty well. Only financially. Well, finance is the basis of most relationships, don't you think? Don't play this with me, Mr. Sabourin. I'm a tigress. I'll bite you. I accept your offer. 26th floor, miss. Yes? I'd like to see Mr. Sabourin. Do you have an appointment? No, but he'll see me. Just give him this. What is your name, please? Just say Kelly. Will you wait right here, please, Miss Kelly. Our plan is to buy companies that are in financial trouble and then build them up. Now here's a company in Canada that I'm particularly interested in. Wilson Oil? I know that stock. Sells at a dollar. It hasn't been very active lately. Well, I want you to get me the background on it and then go into the legal aspect of the situation here with Herb. Alright. Where is she? In the reception room. Alright, show her in. You must forgive me, I have a private meeting. You may go in now, Miss Kelly. Hello. Mrs. Ryan, I'd like you to meet Miss Kelly. Miss Kelly, Mrs. Ryan. How'd you do? I'll call you tonight. Won't you sit down, Miss Kelly? My money do all this? Yes, your money and my brains. Except that it wasn't your money. You stole it from me. To steal from a thief is no crime. Look, I'm broke because of you. Well, how would you like a job? Doing what? Working for me. I could use a pretty thief in my business. I'd wind up in jail. Not my way you wouldn't. Yours for sure. I'd be no use to you. I'm not really a thief. I saw you pull a little job. Small stuff, but it showed promise. The wallet dropped on the floor. I was tempted. I was broke. I never dreamed of picking up that wallet would end that way for Chuck. He tried to kill me. He loved me. He was just trying to help me. You know, you and I are very much alike. Oh, we're both crooks. Only there's one difference. I don't want to be. And you can't help yourself. I like you. It's not your problem if I get sick, so mind your own business! Tell my mother for all I care, she won't say anything. Oh shit! Come on everybody! What time do you call this, Mr Boglio? I'll let it pass this once. You, recite your homework. Andre Nicole Ok, that's enough. Bring me your exercise book. Boglio, show me your weekend homework! Is oat grown in your area? Your answer... yes. Beetroot, yes! Rice, yes! Tomatoes, no! There are no tomatoes? What about fruit and vegetables? Yes, gladioli! Tell me this, are you trying to be funny, saying there are no vines? Is that what you call homework? ! I didn't do it, sir. Who did it then? Maybe the Dad did? Maybe! You have to come to school. The teacher wants a word with you. Come on, the change will do you good. Carry on without me! Where do you think you're going? Hop on the back. Just walk out from us? He did all my homework. Sit down. So you did it? I see you missed out on your education. "We walk". Walk doesn't take an 's' in the plural. Page 24, "The blazing sun ripens the wheat." Let me explain, Sir. I'd like to explain to you. What's the subject? Wheat is the subject in this sentence! Wheat is the subject and the subject is wheat! So Napoleon said: 'Let my white panache be your rallying point'? ! Well, I did get my leaving certificate. Stay right where you are. Here? There! Open your books. It's time for dictation. - What are you doing? - It's in my book! Go and sit down. Get back to your desk! What's wrong with your book? Don't panic! Get back into class! Time's almost up! You can go home now. You stay here. I'd like a word with you. Come on. THE END Doomed. Doomed to a violent end, that Clara Nash was. I'm telling you, Sergeant. Doomed to a violent end. I know, Mrs. Slocum, you told me. Three times, already. And I'm trying to find out, with your help, who murdered her. The horror of it all. [sighs] And that wonderful Mr. Nash. And that poor little boy. Whatever is gonna become of him. Mom, please, mom. Try to control yourself. And to think that I was practically the last one to see her alive. Me. Mrs. Slocum, if you could just give me a few minutes of your valuable time, l-- My valuable time. Well, thank you very much, Sergeant. You hear that, Janie? The Sergeant wants a few minutes of my valuable time. Just goes to show how a person's whole life can be changed... just by somebody getting murdered. First, there was the flowers from the women's club... with a very kind note of sympathy. Plus an invitation... to tell about my experiences on the fatal night. And now the Sergeant wants a few minutes of my valuable time. Well, let's face it, Janie. How much was my valuable time worth, yesterday? 85 cents an hour, plus carfare. I was just a plain, simple baby-sitter. [sighs] But look at me now. Mom, lie down for a while. The Sergeant will come back later. I just remembered something. That's more like it, Mrs. Slocum. I sent my black taffeta to the cleaners... and it's never gonna be back in time for that meeting at the women's club. [sighs] I'll be back. Really, Sergeant. My mother's a wonderful woman. She just suffers from overacting. That's the understatement of the year. Oh, mercy. You must be that detective. Say, I got a few ideas about that murder. I'll bet you have. [scoffs] Well. Where's your mother, honey? Mrs. Armstedder, take it easy. She's really had a rough day. There you are, Lottie. Boy, do you look a mess. Well, come on, honey, refreshments. We got a lot of talking to do. Now. Oh. Move over. Isn't this exciting? Look at that. "Baby-sitter questioned in murder." It's in every paper. Your name, your picture, everything. Gee, makes a person afraid to go out on a job. You know, I was supposed to sit for the Thompsons tonight. But now.... I bet you never wanna baby-sit again. Well, you'd always be imagining a killer was sneaking around or something. Come on, Lottie, I bet you're just dying to tell me all about it. Move over, will you? Well, if that's your attitude. [slurping] It's cherry chocolate with tutti-frutti. [groaning] There. Come on now, tell me. What was she really like? It's a long, long story, Blanche. Well, don't worry. I've got refills. Well, go on. You know, how I've often said... that sometimes a pretty face will do you more harm than good. Well, that Clara Nash was doomed to a violent end. Way she was carrying on, she deserved what she got. Shame on you, Lottie. Go on. You know how particular I am about who I sit for. Well, I never would've sat for her. Except I had a soft spot in my heart for the boy. And that wonderful Mr. Nash. What a gentleman he was. And the way she treated him, he deserved something better. Did you see the flowers the women's club sent? [exclaims] Potted plant would be less trouble. The way she's been carrying on. Since the separation, not even divorced, mind you. Running around with lounge lizards like that Mr. de Mario. He was the one that took her out last night, before she was killed. Listen... do you think that de Mario did it? Who knows? Gives me the creeps. He's the slippery type, you know. Well, why not him? Listen, he brings her home, see. They've been drinking maybe. Then she asks him to drive you home to get rid of him. But he fools her, he comes back. Did act kind of peculiar in the car, coming home. Never opened his mouth once, except to say good night. That was kind of funny, wasn't it? Yeah. Well, as I say, anybody could've done it. They say when they found her strangled-- I don't even wanna think about that. She was never any good. Even right from the beginning, when I first started sitting for the Nashes. Long before they were separated. (Lottie) I remember one night. They were supposed to go to his boss's house for dinner. So I got there at 7.:00 like I was supposed to. Mrs. Nash was picking on Mr. Nash something awful. It wasn't as if I was snooping or anything. She must've known I was standing there, but that didn't stop her. Not for one minute. Yakety, yakety yak. Mad as a wet hen she was. Poor Mr. Nash, you could see he was suffering... but didn't have a chance with Big Mouth. And what was she blowing her top about this time? Well, I'll tell you. Because she didn't want to go to the boss's house for dinner. Just because Mr. Nash asked her to change her dress. You should've seen her, decked out like a showgirl or something. But she refused to get into something respectable. She'd rather go out someplace fancy the way she was... than keep her husband on good terms with his boss. [inaudible] I won't even repeat some of the things she had to say. And that poor man, what he must have been going through. She even had the nerve to make him call his boss... to say they couldn't come. And do you know what she was doing while he was calling? She just laughed. Well, she could afford to. She won. I couldn't keep my mouth shut any longer and I let her have it. I simply told her that she didn't deserve a man like Mr. Nash. And she had the nerve to get sore about it, even though I was right. It might've ended up in a real hair-pulling contest... if it hadn't been for Mr. Nash. But.... Such a gentleman. He just couldn't stand by and let her abuse me. He had to tear us apart practically. But I guess he didn't really mind. I guess he was flattered that I stuck up for him... because, right then and there, he asked me... how such a wonderful, understanding woman like me... had stayed a widow so long. Blanche, he was divine. (Blanche) So what? So what, what? So you don't think he meant anything personal? I mean about your being so wonderful and still single and everything. Who knows what he meant. Well, what's so funny? Lottie, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, and at your age. My age. His age. Same age. Give a little, take a little. [Blanche laughing] Besides, who'd have him even if he asked me? That I'd like to see. Well, don't kill yourself laughing, Blanche. I may be a size 14, but I could get to be a size 10 for him. For a man like that, I could even get to be beautiful. For a man like that, a woman would do anything. Just anything. Lottie, you didn't.... Didn't what? You didn't kill her? What? Have some more cake, Mom. No, not for me. I'm gonna start cutting down. You know, Janie, you wouldn't believe it. But when your father and me was married, I weighed only 98 pounds. He used to call me "Peanut." Used to brag about my figure to everybody. In a nice way, of course. Funny how a woman lets herself go when there's no man around. Well, those afternoon teas that you and Mrs. Armstedder indulge in... don't help either, Mom. You know, Janie, sometimes I think Blanche Armstedder isn't all there. Only sometimes? I'll do the dishes, honey. You run down to the drugstore and get me tonight's papers. I wanna see what they say about me. Okay, I'll be right back. All right. Get all the papers. [door closes] [sighs] 98 pounds. [bell buzzing] For goodness' sake. A person has no privacy around here. Mr. de Mario. Mind if I come in? No, of course not. My daughter-- I just saw her going down the street, so I know you're alone. Yes. As a matter of fact, I am. To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, Mr. de Mario? Pleasure? I just dropped in to give you a little piece of advice. What about? About the murder of Clara Nash. I don't know anything about that. Yeah, I know. But you've got an overworked imagination. Clara used to tell me how you liked to dream things up. She thought it was very funny. Only it might not be so funny now. I've already told them everything I know... and I didn't tell them anything but the truth. That's what I'm worried about. When you run out of the truth, what are you gonna say then? Nothing, nothing at all. You just keep repeating that, Mrs. Slocum. It could mean a whole lot to your future. [door opens] [door closes] ~~[scatting] [sighs] [clucking tongue] Thanks, honey, I don't mind if I do. Say, where's your mother anyway, it's almost dinner time. Well, she can't be out much longer. As soon as the stores close, she's got to come home. What a good girl you are. Always waiting for your mother. Like the other night, for instance. It was real nice of you to wait till she got home. What time was it, anyway? She got in around 2:00 a.m. You're sure 'cause you were up? No, I'm not sure. Then how can you be sure? I'm not. It's just that she said she got in then. Then you wouldn't know if she went out again. Really, Mrs. Armstedder. Why don't you stick to solitaire? Janie, what do you think? A lady at the hairdresser's asked me for my autograph... and the man at the corner said I ought to sell my story to the Chronicle. Are you still here, Blanche? Well, Jane asked me to dinner. Say, you've got a new hairdo. Well, looks pretty nice. Gives you height. Say, what all did you buy, Lottie? Nothing really. [sighs] [exclaims] Jane, it's for you. On second thought, it's too young for you. Size 10? I don't get it. Well, you will. With this, I'm gonna lose pounds like water. Wait, I'll show you. All this wouldn't have anything to do with a certain gentleman... whose initials are "Charles Nash"? Where do you get your ideas? [grunts] Now, look, this is what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to kind of, like, lasso your feet. Lasso your feet. Like that, see. And then you pull yourself up. You're bending your knees. Shut up. [snickering] Well, I'm glad to see you're feeling better, Mrs. Slocum. How do you do? May I help you up? Well, I'm not feeling better, I'm not well at all. I just keep trying. That's why I'm here, Mrs. Slocum. I'm gonna ask you to try to remember if there are any details that you overlooked. Like what, for instance? Well, supposing we go through the whole thing again. Right from the start. Read me what I said yesterday. That's not exactly the idea, Mrs. Slocum. It's a cross-examination. That's where they catch you if you're lying. Shh. Fire away. I'll answer your questions. Thank you, ma'am. Let's start with de Mario. De Mario? Yes. He says that he brought Mrs. Nash home at approximately 1:45 a.m. Now, does that check with you? Check. Do you have anything further to say about this? No. And he left immediately after with you in the car, right? Right. What did he talk about on the way home? Nothing. Nothing? Nothing. Well, didn't he say anything when he dropped you off? Nothing. Nothing? Nothing! Well, he must've said something when he dropped you off, Mrs. Slocum. He said, "Good night." Now, look. De Mario has been unable to account for his time... from then until 4:00 a.m. Now, exactly what time did you get home? They can't prove it, Lottie. Now, don't say another word until you see a lawyer. I don't need a lawyer. I answered all the questions. I think I've got a headache. I wish you'd go away. [groans] Mom. I don't know what got into that police officer... but don't be upset. Everybody knows you had nothing to do with it. Do you still want me to sit for you at the Blakes tonight? Are you sure you're gonna be all right here alone? I'll be back as early as I can, Mom. [door closes] (Lottie) Dear Mr. Nash... the time has come when I need you. I'm all mixed up... especially after what happened the night of the murder. I like to keep myself busy when I'm baby-sitting. Makes the time go by quicker. It was a good book, very romantic. I couldn't wait to find out what happened. So after I finished the book I looked around for something else to do. You've no idea how empty the life of a baby-sitter is. And how quiet. It's not as if I were a teenager... with lots of friends to keep me company. Bobby was sound asleep. Such an angel. And with a mother like that. But again, you're his father. I guess it takes two to tango, if you get what I mean. That woman sure was some housekeeper. Never saw such a mess. But then, I guess she didn't have time for such things. Dust, just like I expected. It was funny seeing the two of us hanging there. Her and me. I remember when your coat used to be there, too, Mr. Nash. I always used to hang mine next to it. [chuckles] [chuckling] I guess you can tell by now I'm romantic. You always bought her such pretty things. Maybe it's not nice of me to talk about the dead. You gave me quite a turn coming in like that, Mr. Nash. But you had your key, and why not? You pay the rent. I could smell you'd been drinking... but who could blame you, with all your troubles. You weren't even sore at me for trying on the coat. [chuckles] I guess you never thought I could look so good. It's that blonde beaver. It does something for a woman. Even me. Such a good father. It was so cozy, just the two of us. Just as if it had always been that way. And then she came back. We heard them out there. Her and that Mr. de Mario, laughing. It was shameful the way those two were carrying on. It really hurt me to see the look on your face. It was nice of you not to want to be present... when she came in with that boyfriend of hers. You knew you could trust me not to tell her you were in the bedroom. Of course, I don't believe that you had anything to do... with what happened later. But you see, it's the police I'm worried about, Mr. Nash. Maybe tomorrow they'll ask me about you. So I thought if we could get together.... You know... dinner for two, tête-à-tête. [bell buzzing] Mr. Nash, come in, come in. What a wonderful surprise. I wasn't expecting anybody but you're very welcome, I'm sure. You won't believe this, but I was just writing a letter to you. Wait a minute and I'll go and get it for you. Now, isn't that a coincidence. If you'd given me a little warning... I might've fixed up a tiny bit. I never was so surprised to see anybody in my life. Well, here it is. By special messenger. I was beginning to get worried. But I didn't tell them anything, like I promised. Not a word. They never asked me if you were there the night of the murder... so I didn't think it was wrong not to tell them anything. Well, Mr. Nash, whatever are you doing? Mr. Nash! [screaming] [Lottie gasping] [baby crying] And now, I suppose you babies who have just put the sitter to bed... are wondering about Mr. Nash. He escaped in his automobile, but not for long. He was soon arrested... for failing to yield the right of way. Well, he wasn't exactly arrested. You see, it was a train that he failed to yield to. And now, children, if you aren't naughty... and if the rabbit doesn't get drunk... drinking too much carrot tea... and fall on the elephant's trunk... next week I'll tell you another story. [baby crying] Good night. Good evening, and welcome to Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Thank you. See you next year. We thought you'd like to see this. So many of you have expressed an interest in knowing how I was paid. Now I can afford to go back to my diet. Tonight's play is about a body. Not mine. However, the title is "John Brown's Body. " In my opinion, John, this is the type of furniture we should be making. Remarkable. What is it? It's a chair, made out of wrought iron and plastic. It's the latest modern design. And this, Harold? That's a copy of a new Swedish reversible sofa. Hmm. Does a set of instructions go with them? I'd be afraid to get into that thing. Unfortunately, John, our customers are not quite so old-fashioned. The public is demanding modern furniture now. Take this sofa. My boy, that is not a sofa. That is a sofa. Constructed, not turned out. Quality, my boy. That's what we're selling. People are looking for something new. We've got to give it to them. Chairs made out of scrap metal? That's not what our customers expect from John Brown and Company. We'd get new customers with a line of modern furniture. Now, Harold, our sales are fine. We're making money. We'll end the year with our usual nice profit. We could triple our profits. And we could go bankrupt. So you won't even consider it? I'm afraid the answer is "No. " But listen, John, if you'd just... Hello! Oh, did I interrupt anything? No, no, my dear. We've finished. How're you, Harold? Hello, Mrs. Brown. You didn't tell me you were coming into town today. Oh, I thought it'd be fun to pop in and surprise you. You can take me to lunch. I'm afraid I have an appointment. If you'd have mentioned it this morning... Well, then it wouldn't have been a surprise. I'm afraid I can't stand many more surprises today. Maybe Harold will volunteer to take you to lunch. I'm sure Harold has his own plans, dear. Nothing important, Mrs. Brown. I'd be happy to volunteer. But you do have an appointment. I'll change it. It's no problem for a junior partner. Goodbye, dear. Hors d'oeuvre, madame? Yes, please. Oeufs a la russe? Yes. It must have been a girl. Pardon? Pate maison? Yes. Your lunch date. It was with a girl, wasn't it? As a matter of fact, yes, it was. Des ecrevisses? Oui. Now I'm going to spoil your fun. How dreadful of me. Don't tease the animals, Mrs. Brown. You might get bitten. Du saumon? Oui. My, we're in a bad mood. Excellent. Et vous aussi, monsieur? Nothing for me, thanks. Tres bien. Merci. Why were you and John glaring at each other when I came in? I told him our product was 20 years out of style. A lot of people still buy it. Three times as many would buy furniture like this. What's that? Sketches of a new line of modern furniture that we're not bringing out. May I look? You can have them. Are these your own ideas? Well, some of them. I had a designer working on it. Oh, I think they're awfully good. I really do. Well, thanks. How about our going into partnership? Or do we have to ask John's permission? He's a charter member. Do you have any influence with him? I never interfere in his business. But you just got a share of it now. You just became a partner. Are you as conservative as your husband, Mrs. Brown? No wonder my husband thinks your ideas are too advanced. I just meant we could make a lot of money. Oh, now you're angry again! Are you sorry John made you take me to lunch? I wasn't drafted. I volunteered. I shouldn't tease you. Your sketches are wonderful. And most women would like to make a lot of money. Sure. Some of them marry for it. That's a low blow. I'm very fond of John. I'm sure you are. Good evening, Mr. Skinner. Hello, Ellen. I'm a little early, so if Mr. Brown hasn't finished his dinner... He's not here. He left for Philadelphia late this afternoon. Well... Well, that's odd. I'm supposed to meet him here to go over some statements. Would you like to speak to Mrs. Brown? Oh, no, no. Don't disturb her. I'll just leave these with you. What is it, Ellen? It's Mr. Skinner, ma'am. Harold! What a surprise. You're just in time for dinner. Oh, no, thanks. Well, I owe you a meal. Remember, you bought my lunch a few weeks ago, under pressure. Well, thanks. I've eaten. I had an appointment with John, But he seems to have forgotten all... Well, come in. I can't imagine John getting his appointments so mixed up. Darling, your act was absolutely priceless! Darling? Mmm? What are we going to do about John? Do you have to worry about that now? Well, let's face it. We're running out of ways to meet. We can't pull this one again. Ellen will be suspicious. And if I take you to lunch once more, John is going to start asking questions. Yes, I know. Have you talked to him about bringing out the new line of modern stuff? He won't discuss it. I've got to find some way to make money. Why doesn't he just retire and let me run the business? There's not a chance of that. The business is his whole life and he's still in his prime. Except for his absent-mindedness about appointments. You know, I think you've got something. What do you mean? The old boy is losing his grip. He doesn't know what he's doing. When you can't remember business matters, it's time to retire. John's got a memory like a file cabinet. He never forgot anything in his life. Ellen thinks he forgot about my appointment, doesn't she? You know very well you never had an appointment. I know it. But does John? Don't you get it? He prides himself on his memory. If we can convince him that he is getting forgetful, then we'll be able to... Oh, no! He'd be a nervous wreck in no time. Oh, what a horrible thought. It was only an idea. I think it's a wonderful horrible idea. Something I can do? Something you should've done three weeks ago. Why haven't the contracts been sent to the Craddock people? Just waiting for you to sign them. What are you talking about? I signed them a month ago. I'm sorry, John. They're still in your drawer, unsigned. No! I know very well that I... I could have sworn I signed these. Why didn't you remind me? I did remind you. Several times. And there are at least three memos on your spike. I must have overlooked it. See that they're mailed immediately, and attach a letter of apology. Certainly. Well, what is it? I hate to mention this, but the safe was open again this morning. I distinctly remember locking it last night. Maybe it was... No, I checked it. There's nothing missing. It wasn't a burglar. Then it was somebody in the office. John, you're the only one who has the combination. Good evening, Ellen. Good evening, sir. I lost my keys. Well, you left them on the table this morning, sir. Here's John now. I was sure I put them in my pocket. You promised you'd be home early! Good evening, John. Oh, hello, Sam. I was so busy I didn't notice the time. Why, are you working too hard? Oh, no. I don't know. Perhaps a little. Dear, why don't you go up and change so we can have dinner? Oh, that's a good idea. I'll wash and then we'll eat. Oh, hey. Will you stay for dinner, Sam? Well, I was. Thank you, John. That'd be nice. Didn't you tell him I was coming to dinner? Doctor, it was his idea to invite you tonight. I reminded him just this morning. I can hardly believe it. Why, his memory is phenomenal. How long has he been like this? It's been months. I kept trying to get him to see you, but he wouldn't. I begged him to take it easy, retire, but he just goes into a rage. What's wrong with him, Doctor? Well, it certainly can't be anything physical. I gave him a thorough checkup only a few weeks ago. Would you object to having a specialist examine him? A specialist? What do you mean? I mean a psychiatrist. You don't think he's... Now, now, now, don't jump to conclusions. It may be nothing more than just mental fatigue. But I do think you should take him to see Dr. Croatman as soon as possible. Now, there, there, there. Good morning. If Dr. Helck thinks I'm sick, why doesn't he treat me himself? Why does he slough me off on a strange doctor? Sam thinks it's best or he wouldn't have suggested it. Mr. Brown. Yes? Dr. Croatman will see you immediately. May I use the phone, please? Certainly. How do you do, Mr. Brown? I'm Dr. Croatman. Won't you sit down? We'll have a little talk. There's nothing to talk about. You want me to take some medicine, give me the prescription, let me get out of here. I don't prescribe medicine, Mr. Brown. Sit down. Just what kind of a doctor are you? Hello, Harold? I'm afraid John won't be able to come to the office today. I've had to bring him to see a doctor. Oh, really? What's the matter with him? Well, we won't know until Dr. Croatman completes his examination. Will you be able to manage things if John should have to take a long rest? If it's long enough, I'll have this business coining money. That's what I thought. I don't want to stay. Let me out of here. All we can hope is that the doctor finds nothing wrong. He thinks I'm insane! I've nothing wrong with me. I'm getting out of here. Doctor? Mrs. Brown. Is he... You saw for yourself. Your husband needs help. I advise you to place him in a rest home as soon as possible. Hello? Harold, I'm afraid I can't talk to you now. It seems that John is much worse than I thought. Sure, I heard. He's mad as a hatter. Well, aren't you the busy little man? Oh, hello, darling. Isn't lunch time, is it? It's 1:15. And you said 1:00. But if we hurry, maybe there'll be something left. Good heavens. I had no idea it was so late. How's the new line going? Oh, fine, fine. Where would you like to go to lunch? How about the Royalty Room? I'm afraid I have to be back by 2:00. I have an appointment with the manager at Tilfords. I, uh... I want to persuade him to take on our contour chairs. Darling, is anything wrong? Nothing to worry about. It just takes time. But I am going to put on some new salesmen. This crew still thinks they're working for John. Well, how are we feeling today? If you're implying I'm a split personality, both of us are fine. You know, I just came from visiting a dual personality. Both of them feel terrible. You, you're doing very nicely. Does that mean you're going to let me out of here? Well, what's wrong with this place? It's quiet, pleasant. You have leisure time to paint. May I look? It isn't finished yet. Oh, it's unusual, certainly. What do you call it? I haven't quite decided whether to call it Modern Living or simply Biography. I see. Tell me, John, just what were you trying to interpret here? How do I know? I'm a loony. There it is, Mr. Skinner. Your capital position is badly impaired due to the heavy investment which is frozen in inventory. Just give it to me in basic English. Very well, Mr. Skinner. Unless there is a drastic increase in sales, and a liquidation of your past due accounts receivable, the company is going to be insolvent in approximately three months. Three months? Well, I'll need at least a year. Then I'd suggest you obtaining additional capital. On what? The name John Brown and Company has always been sufficient collateral. Maybe John Brown could get a loan. The company can't borrow a dime. These are the debits. And here are the complete assets as of... Harold, I can't even balance a checkbook. You'll have to explain it to me. It's very simple. If we don't make some money in the next few months, we're out of business. How much do you need? We need $50,000, partner. Oh, we've gone back to a partnership, have we? We never dissolved. Everything's split right down the middle. Up to now it's been 50%% of nothing. When do the profits start coming in? "We could make a lot of money, Mrs. Brown. " Remember? I remember you thought it was a pretty good idea at the time. I was wrong. I guess you should've stayed with John. Darling, I didn't mean that. It wasn't just the money. You know that, don't you? I know. Isn't there anything we can do? We've got to find some way to raise $50,000. Oh, the stuff will sell. It just takes time. Have you tried to get a loan? All over town. They'd lend it to John, but they think I'm just a young upstart. Maybe if John used his influence. Would that help? I don't think he'd do it. He'd do anything for the company, you know that. It's worth trying. Come on, I'll drive you out there. John? Oh, Vera! Come in, my dear. Or come out, whichever it is. I wasn't expecting you till next weekend. Then you don't mind my surprising you? Still the same Vera. Just the same. You might have caught me making up to one of the nurses. Here, sit down, my dear, sit down. How are you feeling, John? I've quite taken to this sort of life. It's rather pleasant. Painting, talking, just taking it easy. You know, I never realized how uncomfortable a starched collar could be till I started wearing these. Of course, they'd... They'd never do in business. John, you haven't mentioned the business. I'm sure Harold is doing excellently. He's a very clever young man. A little erratic, but I dare say he's learning. Well, he's doing the best he can, but he needs help. Maybe you could advise him. I don't see how I could do that. I've been out of touch too long. Nearly a year, isn't it? Just about. Too many things change in that time. I don't know what conditions are. No, no, Harold's right there. He knows more about it than I do now. Come back. The company needs you and... And so do I. Oh, you mean leave here? Oh, I'm afraid Dr. Croatman would have something to say about that. But you're so much better, John. You've had a long rest, and you look wonderful. Don't you think if the psychiatrist examined you again, he'd see that? He does seem rather pleased with my progress. Oh, good! Then I'll tell Sam about it. He'll know what's best to be done. If you wish, my dear. But I'm not sure it'll do any good. Stop pacing like a caged animal. What if they don't let him out? Why shouldn't they? There's nothing wrong with him. I know. But you can go off your rocker just being in a place like that. If it doesn't work, we're finished. If it does, what about you and me? We just have to be careful. Mrs. Brown, Dr. Helck is here. I've just come from Dr. Croatman. My dear, John is waiting for you to bring him home. Wonderful. Well, it was a great 10 months. This isn't the end. We'd better go in. We won't be able to see each other. We can't pull this trick again. We'll find a way. Just as soon as he has the company making money again. Wait a minute. John! Oh, hello, my dear. And Harold. Nice to see you again. How are you, John? All I know is what my psychiatrist tells me. He says you're entirely well. And it's going to be wonderful to have you home. Isn't it, Harold? It's the best news I've heard in months. Well, all packed, I see. You know, I'm beginning to think that you never liked this place. It's not so bad after you get used to it, Doc. But you say I'm all right now and my wife wants me home. Well, you take care of yourself. I don't want to see you back here again, except as a visitor. I'll see that he never comes back, Doctor. Shall we go, dear? John, if you'll sign this we'll spring you. Anything you say, Warden. That's a fine way to talk. Here, I'll take those. Oh, I forgot this. Well, I think that's everything. Mrs. Brown, I'm sorry. Your husband won't be able to go with you just now, after all. I don't understand. He is not able to leave here now. But he's completely sane. You said so. He gives that appearance, yes. But in disturbances of this sort, we can't always be sure. No, I'm afraid John has to stay here. But he can't. We need him. The business. I must take him home. You'd only be taking home his body. His mind is... Look for yourself. I hope that ending was properly terrifying. What's this? Nothing but sawdust. Oh, well, two can play at that game. That's all I have here. This concludes our program for tonight. On our next program, we shall both be back. Me and my shadow. Good night. ANNOUNCER: With the stars... and... Alice. Where is it? Where-where is it? Can I see him? I keep him in the bedroom -'cause it's warmer in there. -Oh. Oh, okay. -(coos) -Oh! Alice! Isn't he a darling? - Oh, he's the most adorable thing I've ever seen. -(giggles) l-ls it all right if I pick him up? Oh, sure, go ahead. Oh, I've never felt anything so cuddly in my whole life. - Where'd you get him? -Well, Mrs. Manicotti went to the pound today to get a dog for her kids, -Mm-hmm. So I went along with her. I took one look at this character and I was a goner. Did you ever see such eyes? What kind of a dog is he? Well, he's a cross between a cocker spaniel -and a French poodle. -Mm. It's a... I guess you'd call it a "cockerpoodle." Mm-hmm. (cooing) Aw, Trixie, you'd better put him back in the box, -'cause I got to feed him now. -All right. There. Get a look at that, "choice horse meat." - Horse meat? -Uh-huh. - Ew! -Oh, they must know what they're doing, Trix, 'cause the dogs are nuts about it. Ah. Is that gonna be enough for him? Oh, sure. You don't want to overfeed a puppy. - Oh. -Here you are, sweetheart. - There you go. Have a little bit of that. -Oh, isn't that sweet? - Yes. -Aw. Aw... Listen, does Ralph know about this yet? Oh, no. I haven't told him yet. Oh, you gonna tell him tonight? No. I think I'll wait till tomorrow morning. 'Cause, see, the man at the... down at the pound -told me the dog's gonna need shots. -Uh-huh. And Mrs. Manicotti's going to the vet's tonight to take her dog, so she said she'd take him along with hers. Yeah. Well, once Ralph sees that sweet little face, -he's gonna love him. -I hope so. Say, Trix, how come you never got a dog? On account of Ed. Oh, he loves dogs, but for the first few minutes Ed's around a dog, he-he itches and wheezes and sneezes. Ooh, it's somethin' terrible. It's an allergy he's got to anything with fur on it. Oh, gee, that's too bad. Hey, you want me to drop the dog off at Mrs. Manicotti's for you? Oh, Trix, that would be wonderful. And tell Mrs. Manicotti that I'll stop up there later, okay? All right. Should I take the rest of the dog food along? No. I won't have to feed him till tomorrow morning -when I get him back. -Oh, I see. Okay. - Don't drop him now, Trix. -No, I won't. - Oh, he's a good fella. Bye. -Thank you. - I'll see you later, Alice. -All right, bye-bye. (clears throat) Hiya, sweetheart. Hiya, Ralph. I'll have your supper ready for you in a minute. Oh, don't go to any trouble. I'm not gonna eat here. I'll eat over at the lodge. I got just enough time to wash up and get over there. We got another emergency meeting. Again? ! Ralph, you had an emergency meeting last night. -So? -So? Do you realize you Racoons have more emergency meetings than the U.N.? Just so happens that the Racoons have more emergencies than the U.N. (Alice sighs) Hey, Alice. - Hiya, Ed. -Well, is, uh... loveable big stuff home yet? (chuckles) Yes, he's inside washing up. Ed, do you realize they have another emergency meeting tonight at the lodge? That's the fourth emergency meeting in this past week. I'm beginning to think those emergency meetings are nothing but a poker game. Oh, wait a minute, Alice. Wait a minute. I'm surprised that you even think anything like that. An emergency meeting is an emergency meeting. Never a poker game. An executive meeting-- that's a poker game. Will you tell your lodge brother for me that I'm up at Mrs. Manicotti's? I will do. Hey there. What say, Ralph? Mmm! Alice told me to tell you she's up at Mrs. Manicotti's. Mmm! Boy, this is delicious. Norton... if I ever ran into you when you weren't eating, I don't think I'd know you. What kills me is you eat and you eat and you eat, and you don't even gain a pound. I guess my nature, my basic metabolism or something, I don't know. As long as I can remember, I've weighed exactly what I weigh now-- 165 pounds. As-as far back as I remember, 165. Gee, I remember when I used to weigh 165. Did you ever see a picture of me when I weighed 165 pounds? No, Ralph, I never did see any of your baby pictures. (laughs) Hey, let me tell you, your wife Alice really outdid herself with this stuff. This is just delicious. Here. Try this, Ralph. - Hey, that's great. -How about that? Got a real different taste to it. (mumbles) You're a lucky guy. Anything Trixie ever fixes for me is right out of the can. Now, if this could come out of the can, that would be different. This is terrific. - Norton. -What? You just gave me a million-dollar idea. All I have to do is put this stuff in cans. Ralph, you're sitting on a gold mine! You could make a million dollars! I don't care if I make a million dollars. This is the thing I've always wanted to do for Alice. Why should she cook just for me? And just have me enjoy it? I could put it in cans and the whole world can enjoy her cooking. I'm gonna make her rich and famous. I'll run the whole business for her. All she'll have to do is sit back and collect. Boy, oh, boy, that is a worthy sentiment. I mean it. Now, all you got to do is get ahold of Alice and get the recipe. Then we're off. Now, that's the last thing I have to do. All I have to do is tell Alice that I got a scheme to make money and she'll say it's a crazy scheme. But, look, if you don't get ahold of Alice and get the recipe, how you gonna sell this stuff? - What are you gonna do? -Very simple. The first thing I gotta do is get some financial backing. Now, tomorrow when I go to work, I walk right in to Mr. Marshall. Mr. Marshall, the president of your bus company? Why, certainly. He's a swell guy. Last year, for instance, there was some guy named, uh... Herman Fatrack, and he had some kind of an invention. It was, uh, a wrench lock. Well, he took it in to Marshall, showed it to Marshall, Marshall liked it, gave him some money and now he's got a whole factory going for himself. Called Fatrack's Factory. Not bad, not bad, Ralph. But have you got an idea on how to present this, uh... this, uh, stuff here to your boss? I don't need any idea. I'll do the same thing we did. I'll let him taste it. He'll be sold on it just like we were. Now, soon as he puts the money in my company and Alice knows that my boss has got money in this thing, she'll be proud to give me the recipe. Ralph Kramden, I got to take my hat off to you. Now, let's see. We got to get some kind of a name for this. Yeah. How about this? Kramden's Delicious... Now, wait, ho. Wait a minute. What do you mean, "Kramden's Delicious..."? Mr. Marshall is putting up the money for this thing. You got to get his name in there someplace. You're right about that. Uh... Hey. How 'bout this? Kramden's Delicious Marshall. What's the matter with you, are you a nut or something? "Kramden's Delicious Marshall"! What kind of stuff is "Marshall"? Well, we don't know what this stuff is! You might as well call it "Marshall"! Look, I told you I was gonna give you a job, and if you're with me, you're gonna have a job for a lifetime. I've said that time and time again. Now that we've got a winning solution to our problems, I'm still going to give you the job. But you're not gonna be in the advertising department. This takes a simple little thing like a combination of names. Krammar's! Krammar's what? Krammar's Delicious Mystery Appetizer. Now you got it. Now you got "Krammar's Mystery Delicious..." No, "Delicious Mystery Appetizer. -"Krammar's Delicious Mystery Appetizer." -That's it. That's a catchy... Oh, boy. You got it there, Ralph. - That's beautiful. Let me tell you! -(chuckles) You've bet on many a venture that's failed and flunked and everything but this one, I think you're gonna hit it, I think you're gonna make a fortune and, pal 0' mine, you deserve it! Thank you, friend. - Thank you, my boy. -(chuckles) - A toast. -Thank you. It just goes to prove, what I've always said, every dog has his day. Thank you very much. Morning, Mr. Marshall. Hello, Kramden. What can I do for you? Mr. Marshall, I have a million dollars in here. Then you must have had a mighty good day on the bus. Oh-ho! Ha, ha, ha! Very good! (chuckles) Very good! Well, it's like the men say, Mr. Marshall, you're a good guy. All the fellas say the same thing: they say you're a guy that likes new ideas and a fella that you can come to and get advice, sometimes even financial assistance. (chuckles) Mr. Marshall, I have here a fortune. My wife made a whole bowl of this last night, and I scooped some up to bring it over as a sample. And there it is. What is it? An appetizer. The most delicious you've ever tasted in your life! - Appetizer? -Sure, an appetizer. People go nuts over appetizers. Walk into any supermarket-- all along the shelves, they got jars of appetizers. But the difference is that this is something new and different. That's what the people go for, something new and different. This is delicious. It would go great with cocktails or, uh, for a snack or on crackers or to make small sandwiches. - Even those, uh, "ooh-doovas." -What? - Hors d'oeuvres. -Huh? Hors d'oeuvres! They'd be good for that, too! Here, just taste this. - Just taste it. -No, no, no, I'd better not, Kramden. I'm on a very strict diet. No. How can this harm you? It's homemade, pal. - Here. Take a little bit. - Well. .. just one, if it's homemade. Hey. This is very good. What did I tell you? L-I've never tasted anything like it before. Everybody that tastes it says the same thing, Mr. Marshall. - This'll be a riot. -Yeah. Well, I want to try it on someone else. Oh, Ms. Evans, please tell Mr. Peck I'd like to see him in here for a moment. Mr. Tebbits, too. Kramden, this appetizer has possibilities. If it's handled right, it can be a big thing. Now, tell me, is this your wife's exclusive recipe or could there some... be someone else involved, like, uh... like her mother? Oh, her mother? No. Her mother can't cook like my wife. My mother-in-law's a nice lady and everything, but anything she'd cook, I wouldn't give to a dog! - Think I'll have another one. -Go ahead, pal! - Eat it up. There's plenty of crackers. -Yeah. - RALPH: Here they are. -Did you want to see me, J.M.? - Yeah. You both know Ralph Kramden. -Kramden. - How are you? -Look, I wanted your opinion. Now, taste this appetizer and tell me what you think of it. - What's this all about, J.M.? -I'll explain later. Just tell me what you think of it. Hey, this stuff is great. It's very good. Yeah. I know I've never tasted it before. But there's something about the aroma I recognize. Hey. This is dog food! Dog food? ! Are you nuts or something? Why should my wife make dog food? We haven't even got a dog! Now, look, I could be wrong. Anybody can make a mistake. Well, you certainly are wrong. I don't think I am. But if you want to make sure, I'll get Charlie. He raises dogs. -(chuckling): Dog food. -Charlie. Boy, jealousy, sometimes. I'm telling you. Well, it'd better not be! Yes, Mr. Peck? Charlie, do you know what that is? I should know. I've been using this for years. It's dog food. (grumbling) (grumbling) You know, Alice, a French name would be cute for him. Well, I'll worry about a name for him after I get Ralph to agree to let me keep him. I told you, you're worrying over nothing. Once Ralph gets a look at that little face, he's got to fall in love with it. Well, I hope so. You know something, Trix, I never realized what wonderful company a little pup is around the house all day. You know, this day just flew by. Sure. That reminds me, I gotta be getting back upstairs. Aw, good-bye, precious. If it wasn't for my Ed's darned old allergy, I'd get one just like you. (chuckles) - I'll see you later, Alice. -Okay, Trix. Now, listen here, I want to tell you something. I have got work to do, and I have to do it right now. I don't want you getting it into your head that all I have to do all day long is just play with you. So it's back in the box. Okay? There. Oh... Don't look so sad about it. Come on, we'll go in the bedroom. (door opens) - Hey there, Alice. -Oh, hi, Ed. Aren't you coming home a little early today from work? Oh, no, I been, uh, showing up to work an hour early. - We're breaking in a new man there. -Oh? Been with us a week-- he's still wet behind the ears. (groans) Say, tell me, Alice, has Ralph, uh, tried to get in touch... (sharp exhale) Excuse me. Has Ralph tried to get in touch with y... (sneezes) - No. Bless you. -Excuse me. Has he tried to get in touch with you about anything today? No. Have you got a cold, Ed? I didn't have a minute... didn't have a minute ago. Scratch me there, will you? - Here? -(sneezes) Boy, this usually only happens when I'm... when I'm around dogs. (sneezes) - You got a dog? -Uh, yes, I have, Ed. - Maybe you'd better go. -Huh? Oh, no, no, no. I'm all right. It's just, uh, the... Whose dog is it? It's mine. I got it at the pound. But please don't say anything to Ralph about it before I do. He doesn't think we should have a dog in the apartment. Oh, no, no, no, I won't. I won't. I won't. I'd like to look at the dog, if you don't mind. Well, do you think you should, Ed? Oh, I'm-I'm all right. It's just... (begins to sneeze) ...just after the initial attack is over then I'm all right. I want to look at the pooch. Where is he? Hi, there, little poochy boy! Oh, what a beautiful dog this is. Hey! Hey! He looks like one of those make-believe toys. You know, like you wind up. He's beautiful. I hope Ralph'll like him as much as you do, Ed. Oh, boy, I'm telling you, when Ralph sees this little fella here, he'll go out of his mind. (Alice speaks indistinctly) Put him back in the box 'cause I got to feed him now. Supper in bed, huh? Boy, they talk about a dog's life. TRIXIE: Alice! Oh, Alice! There it is, the voice of doom. Oh, Ed. What is it, Trix? TRIXIE: Come on up. Your mother's on the phone. Oh, I'll be right up. Thanks. Go ahead, go, go, go, go. I'll take care of the pooch. I'll feed him. What do I do? Oh, you just take two spoonfuls of this dog food and put it on that plate and just give it to him. - Gotcha. -Thanks, Ed. Here it comes, poochy! Here's your din-din! There we are. That a boy. Eat up, eat up, eat up. (mutters) Smells mighty familiar. Krammar's Delicious Mystery Appetizer! All right, where is she? - Where is she? ! Alice, come out here! -Uh... upstairs on the phone. Upstairs on the phone, huh? Today was the most humiliating day -I've ever spent in my whole life. -Really? How would you feel if you gave your boss dog food to eat? Terrible, unless my boss is a cocker spaniel, I tell you. Dog food! It's a miracle I wasn't fired. I know who did it, too. Alice's mother. She come over here to cook me a tidbit, that's what she did. She don't care what Alice gives me to eat, just as long as Alice can scrimp and save and live around here in the lap of luxury! Those ain't the facts, Ralph. Those ain't the facts. They're not the facts, huh? Then why would we have dog food around the house? And in our ice box? ! What, have we got a dog or something? Ralph Kramden, you have just reached the first plateau! What are you talking about? ! I'm not talking about it, and I'm not saying it. Just put your nose in that bedroom there. Just go in the bedroom, that's all. (angry grunt) That animal is getting out of here immediately! - Wait, wait, wait, don't. -Don't tell me to wait! Alice knows she can't have a dog! And she knows why she can't have a dog! Who's gonna take him out, huh? Me. Me, that's who! And when do dogs have to get taken out? Five minutes before I have to go to bed! That is around midnight! And if you think that I'm gonna walk up and down the street in the snow and the sleet and the rain, walking some mutt back and forth, you're nuts! Alice is taking that dog back! - Right back to the pound! -Wait a minute, wait a minute. She ain't taking it back. Didn't cost you anything or anything. She's in love with that puppy. If you make her take it back to the pound, it'll-it'll break her heart, and it'll cause a big fight, too. You're absolutely right. It will cause a fight. So therefore I'm not gonna have her take it back. I'll take it back! - Back you go. -Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Just-just wait a minute. Wait. - Wait... -Don't wait... Get out of my way! Just-just give a good look at the dog, will ya? - Just give him one good look. -I don't wanna look. A good look or a bad look, I'm taking him back to the pound! - Now get out of my way. -Come on. Just-just give him a look, will you, Ralph? You know what? I know why you're afraid to give him a look-- you're afraid that if you look into these brown, soulful, trusting eyes, that it'll do something to your heart. Just look. Look into those eyes, Ralph. Look, look, look. Put him back in the box, Norton! -(pleading indistinctly) -Put him back in the box or I'm gonna do something to you! Get out of the way! Open that door. Open the door. Ralph Kramden, you've just lost your membership card to the human race. I still say it's the best appetizer I ever tasted! - Pardon me, sir. -Yes, sir? I'd like to return a dog that my wife got here yesterday. Let me see now. It's a good dog. You, uh, say your wife picked him up here yesterday? - Yeah. -What's your name? Kramden. K-R-A-M-D-E-N. - I'll have to check the record first. -'Kay. You, uh... you sure you want to get rid of this pup, huh? Well, we have a small apartment. Okay. (chuckles) Come here. Don't look at me like that. I ain't got nothing against you. Honest, if I was gonna have a dog, I'd have a dog look just like you. It's just that... well, an apartment's no place to keep a dog, you know, and... they're expensive and everything. Besides, somebody'll come in and pick you up. Maybe somebody with a big backyard or something. Might even live in the country. (chuckles softly) Boy, you got some kisser. Honest, you'll see. This is probably the luckiest break you ever got that I didn't take you with me. - Honest. -All right. Here. Just sign this and I'll take the dog. Everything's in order. There you are. Thank you. There we go. Up you go, boy. That's it. (speaks indistinctly) Something I can do for you, mister? No, no. (clears throat) Say, tell me something. I just brought a dog back here. Uh... will somebody pick him up and give him a good home? I hope so. What do you mean, you hope so? Well, lot of people come here for dogs, but there ain't always enough people to take all the dogs we got here. We're only allowed to keep dogs here five days. We got a couple here now-- they been-been, uh, over the limit. - Over the limit? -Yeah. Well, what happens to them then, when they're over the limit? Got to be destroyed. Hey, wait a minute. You mean that dog I just brought in here, my dog, -is gonna be destroyed? ! -Right. Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Hey, come back... (chuckles) Who do I see about getting a dog back? Uh, lost dog? No, no, a puppy that I got here yesterday. And my husband brought him back today and I want to get him right now. Well, you'll have to wait till Mr. McGreggor gets out here. He'll be out in just a moment. Come on. - Ralph. -Alice. What are you doing with my puppy and these other dogs? Look, I hope you're not gonna get mad, but I fell in love with him. And these other two are over their limit. Come on, I'll tell you all about it at home. Come on, Alice. Can't wait to see these little ones. Did you see the new one? - Let's take a look... - Let me take a look. My name is William Pittenger. I never intended to write this book, but after our raid into Georgia was over, something happened to make me change my mind. Along with a group of men who had shared so much with me, I was summoned to the War Department in Washington. We expected nothing more than routine questioning, but were surprised to be invited into Secretary Stanton's office, and dumbfounded as we took in the meaning of his words. It is a tribute to your valor that the boldest exploit of this war bringing consternation upon the Confederacy and glory to our Union arms, was led by a civilian, and carried out by private soldiers. Volunteers, to a man. You've won for us a new respect, and we are grateful. Congress has, by recent law, prepared a medal to be awarded for conspicuous bravery: "The Congressional Medal of Honor." You gentlemen are to have the first ever given. Corporal William Pittenger. Congratulations, Mr. Pittenger. [ Pittenger] I tried to thank him but I felt too unworthy, remembering our missing comrades and our brave leader Andrews who had gained us this honor. [Pittenger] James J. Andrews was a man of mystery, as befitted his vocation. Though in reality a Union spy, he was trusted throughout the South as a blockade runner. It was typical that even now as he neared our lines, he was riding a horse he had borrowed from the Confederates. On that eventful day in 1862, I was in charge of a picket detail, guarding the approach to our headquarters camp, south of Nashville. Pittenger, why don't you hire a substitute, so the war won't interfere with your reading? This concerns the war. Bringing out a new medal. "The Congressional Medal of Honor." This ain't for you and me. That's for generals. Not our generals. They won't even let us fight. Mitchell would, if they'd give him a chance. Maybe. All I know is I joined this army to kill Johnny Rebs, and so far, I ain't even seen one. You've been lucky. It's all right, Bill. I know him. Glad to see you, Mr. Andrews. What's your regiment doing this far south of Nashville? General Buell moved out with most of the army to reinforce Grant. There's a big fight shaping up around Corinth. I probably don't have to tell you. I didn't know Buell was gone. Who's in command here now? General Mitchell. He's madder than a wet hen to be left behind. So were we. - Why are you left behind? - To guard Nashville. It's nice to talk with you again, Corporal. Mr. Andrews... if you ever want help on a Secret Service mission, don't forget the name Pittenger. William Pittenger. In all of East Tennessee, there's no concentration of Confederate forces worth the mention. The Southern army at Knoxville is barely able to defend the city - from Union General Morgan. - What about Chattanooga? Buell was certain a great army was gathering there. General Mitchell, there are only 2,000 raw recruits in Chattanooga, and another 2,000 that aren't even armed! Here we wait with 10,000 choice troops under strict orders to guard Nashville. If only I'd been given some latitude, I'd march right into Chattanooga. - Wouldn't that be defending Nashville? - Yes, by George! As long as I keep the enemy in front of me, Nashville will be fully protected. But I don't want Chattanooga unless I can hold it. It might be two weeks before Buell could reinforce me. Have you any idea how many men the Confederates could bring out of Atlanta against me? 15,000 at least. That many? Suppose we have a look, Andrews, and see how matters stand. Here's Lee, who has his hands full in Virginia. And here's Beauregard, who's bringing up everything he's got to fight Grant at Shiloh. And here's their east-west railroad, all the way from Alexandria to Memphis, with Chattanooga right in the strategic center. Here we are. So, if I moved down here to Huntsville, captured the locomotives and flat cars, and rode into Chattanooga, all I'd have to fear would be these forces out of Atlanta. That's true, sir, but we're right back where we started from. They can move their soldiers up the railroad from Atlanta and drive you out of Chattanooga in two days. There are 11 railroad bridges over the Chicamagua. A man like you could lead a raiding party and burn those bridges for me. Why not? I had a deal with General Buell that when I brought this information, I wouldn't go South anymore. Soon as I complete this report, I aim to enlist in the 21st Ohio. You'd leave the Secret Service to become a foot soldier? Yes, sir. Maybe I won't be any great shakes in the infantry, but at least it wouldn't be hiding under a cloak. After just so long, a man has to come out in the open. Mr. Andrews, I wouldn't detail any man on a duty of this kind against his will. But consider what it might mean to the Union. Cut the Confederacy in two. We could shorten the war by half, maybe end it. [Pittenger] I'd heard from Mr. Andrews sooner than I expected. That night a score of adventurous men, most from the 21st and 33rd Ohio Infantry, followed me to a meeting place on a hillside. [coyote howls] - Good evening, gentlemen. - [all] Good evening. All here, Mr. Andrews. Which are Brown and Knight? Private Wilson Brown, Company F. Private William Knight, Company E. Not any longer, gentlemen. Forget that you've ever been soldiers. Mr. Brown and Mr. Knight have been informed by their company commanders about our venture. They know what they have to do. We can't get along without them. All I can tell the rest of you is that while Mitchell moves toward Chattanooga, we must penetrate more than 100 miles behind the Confederate lines in Georgia to destroy the railroad. If we fail, every one of us may be hanged or torn in pieces by an angry mob. You have no experience playing the part of spies. Some of you are pretty young. Since we're asking you to volunteer blindly, it won't be dishonorable to back out now. If you had any sense, you'd return to camp and get into uniform again. [coyote howls] Good. You're the men for me. Now then, you're to travel southeast through the Cumberland Mountains, cross the Tennessee River, and be ready to catch the 5:00 train south out of Chattanooga Thursday afternoon. Your destination is the Railroad Hotel at Marietta, Georgia. If anyone fails to meet me there before sun up Friday morning, the attempt will be made without him. Any questions? I'm Bill Campbell. What'll we tell the Johnny Rebs about who we are and where we're from? Tell them you're Kentuckians, escaping Yankee rule to join a Southern regiment. If they press you, tell them you hail from Fleming County, Kentucky. I'm from Flemingsburg, and no man from that county ever joined the Southern army. - What if they have us cornered? - Don't hesitate to join their army. You can escape back to your own lines some dark night on picket duty. I'm Bob Buff um. Would you care to tell us how you intend to reach Marietta? I'll travel on the same road, sometimes before you, sometimes behind. - We allowed to talk to you? - Treat me as you would a stranger. As for you, Mr. Buff um, it might be wiser if you didn't speak at all. I never met a Kentuckian so plainly from Massachusetts. [thunder] Do you have your pistols? Keep them hidden. In this business, you never fight unless you've failed, and we won't fail. Nothing can stop us. [thunder] Nothing. [Pittenger] Andrews gave us 3 days for our journey through the Cumberlands. Traveling by twos and threes, we were strung out miles apart in a desolate country. We'd been supplied with Confederate money, but food and lodging were scarce, and transportation out of the question. My companion was the Giant, Bill Campbell. As I came to know him, I felt a growing concern over his quick, violent temper. One such powder keg could blow our whole expedition sky-high. We reached the Tennessee River on time, only to find it impassable. Pardon me, ma'am. Do you know the whereabouts of the ferryman? Home, like enough. But he won't chance it across before morning. River's swole up mighty angry. - Could you put us up for the night? - Where you from? [Pittenger] Flemingsburg, Kentucky. Inn's pretty full. We can pay double. [thunder] They're from Flemingsburg, too. There's a score of us in all. We couldn't abide the Yankees anymore so we pulled up stakes. Gonna throw in our lot with the Southern army. Come in, all of ya. It won't cost you a cent. Flemingsburg? I can't rightly say I've ever been to Flemingsburg. Unless you wanna be under the thumb of the abolitionists, you better not go now. I never thought Kentucky would be run by clay-eaters and poor white trash! There's some mighty fine folks in Kentucky. Yes, and more of them are coming south every day. Isn't that just giving up your state to the Yankees? They've got it already. They're so strong in the legislature, they passed a law that any man fighting for the South forfeits his state's rights - to citizenship, land and holdings. - Has it come to that? Yes, sir. I know that to be true. The governor of Kentucky has four sons. Two are fighting for the Yankees, and two are in my regiment. They told me that unless we won, they could never go home again. Damn Yankees! Jess, you're at table. Quit your swearing. "Damn Yankee" ain't swearing, Mother, and you know it. Jem, maybe the brave Kentuckians would like to join your regiment. I'd be mighty proud to have them, if you can wait till this comes off. I'd take you to Chattanooga with me, introduce you to General Ledbetter. We're honored, but we had our hearts set on enlisting in the 1st Georgia regiment. Some of our friends have already joined it, and we're anxious to push on. 1st Georgia! Did you hear that, Mother? No river's gonna hold you back. That ferryman doesn't like flood water, but he'll take you over first thing in the morning or find himself out of a job. [Innkeeper] I knew it. I knew Jess Mclntyre would help you. - They're helping us, ain't they? - Yes, sir! - Retha, give them boys more chicken. - Yes, ma'am. You're all very kind, kinder than we deserve. That's right. [Innkeeper] You won't have no trouble at all. Once folks find out what you're up to, they'll put the big pot in the little one. [Innkeeper] Well, look who's here! [Retha] Land sakes, but you're wet! You need some of Retha's cooking, Mr. Andrews. Sounds mighty good. Smells even better. I think I'll get warm first. Evening. [Innkeeper] Retha, fetch Mr. Andrews that peach brandy, you hear? Yes, ma'am. Ladies and gentlemen, I have great news. On the strength of it, I'd ask you all to have a glass with me... if I knew the color of your politics. You needn't worry about these boys. They've been living amongst Yankees, but they're coming out on the right side. Good. We won a great victory at Shiloh. - Did Beauregard lick that buzzard Grant? - [Andrews] Cut him to ribbons. What about the Yankee gunboats at Pittsburgh Landing? 100 of them sunk, and thousands of prisoners taken. The whole Yankee force, gone up the spout. [cheers] Isn't that wonderful? Ladies and gentlemen... I give you a toast. The Confederacy. You don't seem very happy over our victory, Mr. Campbell. He's not. He wants to kill all the Yankees himself. [laughter] - Sounds like a Kentuckian. - We're all from Kentucky. You'll find plenty of action later on, sir. But before you go any further South, there's one thing we must teach you. What's that? Dixie. - Sing it. - May I? [Innkeeper] Go right ahead. Come on, boys, gather 'round. ♪ Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton Old times there are not forgotten ? ♪ Look away, look away Look away, Dixie Land ? ♪ In Dixie Land where I was born In early on one frosty morn ? ♪ Look away, look away Look away, Dixie Land ? ♪ Then I wish I was in Dixie Away, away ? ♪ In Dixie Land I'll take my stand To live and die in Dixie ? ♪ Away, away Away down south in Dixie ? ♪ Away, away Away down south in Dixie ? ♪ Away, away... ? ? Away down south in Dixie ? Mr. Campbell, do you have something on your mind? I wanna know just one thing. Do we have to be better Southerners than the Johnny Rebs themselves? I went pretty far tonight. But let me tell you this: If you can't drink their toasts and sing their songs, love Jeff Davis and hate Abe Lincoln until next Friday, you'll never reach Marietta. I'm sorry. Then you were exaggerating about Shiloh? Yes. When I bring them good news, I'm doubly welcome. The truth is bad enough. Bad enough to stop General Mitchell's advance? No. Shiloh can't stop him, but the devilish rains may. The trouble is, our movements and his have to dovetail. [Andrews] He has an army and cannon to move. It's taking a chance, but we'll have to postpone our plans for one day. I'll wait here for the rest of the men. You go into Chattanooga, and if you see any of the boys who didn't come this way, pass the word along. [snoring] What'd you do before the war? Taught school a while. How do you like this business? There's one side of it I can't get used to. Mr. Mclntyre... and the widow woman who fed us and gave us her bed... When I deceive 'em, I feel like the lowest snake that crawls. I know. That soldier, he's supposed to be my enemy. I'm supposed to hate him the way Campbell does. But I don't think I can. It's worse when a Southerner's your best friend. Like old Jim Lindsay. Even picked out the girl I'm going to marry, 'cause she's Yankee-minded like me. Now that I've turned spy and have to fool him, I can hardly look him in the eye anymore. How do you stand it? I believe in a federal union. So do I. I hope we can preserve it without any more Shilohs. They say the slaughter was so fierce on both sides, you could walk across the field on dead bodies like stepping stones. How would you like to put a stop to that, Pittenger? Could we, with what we're doing? Maybe we can. [Pittenger] We managed to be on the Friday train, headed south. So far, we were lucky. [standing soldier] ♪ A rebel I will be A rebel till I die ♪ ♪ I would not give a fig To live under a Yankee sky ♪ ♪ We are sons of holy Dinah And we go where we've a mind to ♪ ♪ And we stay where we're inclined to As long as we have fun ♪ ♪ Oh, we licked the Yanks at Shiloh Oh-my, oh-my, oh-my-oh ♪ ♪ Yes, we licked the Yanks at Shiloh Just to see how they would run ♪ ♪ We are sons of holy Dinah And we'll go where we've a mind to ♪ ♪ But right now we're inclined to Go home and rest a spell ♪ ♪ But when we're tired of eatin' We will give them Yanks a beatin' ♪ ♪ And they'll all be retreatin' When we give the rebel yell ♪ [whoops] How many Yankees can one Southerner whup? [all soldiers] Five! - [standing soldier] How many? - [all soldiers] Ten! [standing soldier] That's more like it! One company of Southerners armed with popguns could run a whole regiment of Yankees clean out of the country! [standing soldier] - Am I right? [all soldiers] - Right! - Gettin' off? - No. - Thought maybe I'd get your seat. - No, just stretching. Look at that cannon! Would you mind? Don't be ornery, Bill. Let him see it. Yankee army issue! Where'd you get it? I say, where'd you get it? Took it off a dead Yank. Which battle? Battle for our hen coop! That's all any of them Yankees are, chicken stealers. You hear that? Chicken stealers! [conductor] Station-stop, Kingston, Kingston. What do you think you're doing? He didn't mean any harm. He just can't help playing jokes on people. I wasn't speaking to you. Why'd you go and play a cheap Yankee trick like that? You're right welcome to the seat. I was just havin' a little fun. I'll be dogged if he can't even talk like a Yankee. Sit down here, pint-pot, and see if you can teach me. [Pittenger] In spite of Campbell and Buff um, we all reached Marietta in safety and spent a restless night in the Railroad Hotel. With the dawn, we were ready for the big day. Two fair days in a row. You don't know what that sun means to us. What are the fine clothes for, Mr. Andrews? Today I'm an official of the Western and Atlantic Railroad. - A very high official, I hope. - You are the president, at least! It's 15 minutes till train time. You know what you have to do. Let's have a final check. Which of you are buying tickets to Allatoona? Kingston? Calhoun? Resaca? And Chattanooga? Good. That way it won't appear we're traveling together. Knight, Brown and Alf Wilson, sit close to me. One last thing: When the train stops at Big Shanty for breakfast, keep your seats till I give you the signal. Good luck, gentlemen. - Mr. Andrews? - Mr. Ross? After you outlined the plan last night, Bill Campbell and I got to talking it over. Tearing up the track behind us and burning the bridges all makes sense, but why steal the train at Big Shanty? It's a breakfast stop for the crew as well as the passengers. There's no telegraph there, either. There's a Confederate camp with 4,000 men. Must we steal an engine in full view of the Southern army? Know any place they won't suspect it? Yes. Any deserted part of the track north of this town. - [Andrews] That'd mean a fight. - What's the matter with a fight? - You never know how it'll come out. - I know how I'm coming out. I've had a bellyful of this bowing' and scrapin' and sweet-talking every loudmouth Sesech in the state of Georgia. If you want to capture this train in a fair fight, you can count on me. If you don't, I ain't going. Mr. Campbell, your company commander said you'd be worth ten in a fight. That's why I brought you along, just in case. But we didn't come to fight. We came to burn railroad bridges. If you don't like the plan, you're free to drop out now. If you come, you'll do it my way. [train bell] - Cloudin' over. - Yeah. Is it gonna rain? Might could. It rains one minute, shines the next. [conductor] All aboard! [train whistle] - Good morning, conductor. - Morning. Didn't you get on at Marietta? You're the one who saved Xiao-Mei. We owe you a lot. Oh, that's just my duty, it's nothing. Drink up, come on Mr. Jeng. You could help this old fool. Thirst and respect, huh? Mr. Wu, why did you say you were a fool? (laughing) If I tell you son, you'll still never know why. (laughing) Oh yes, I understand you. Well, I feel like I'm half drunk and half sober, half of me is mad and half of me a fool. I work half a day, and I get half day's pay. Everything is just half and half again. (laughing) Well then, you would be half an old bald head and half a young man, and half of you is man, and the other half is woman. (Chuckling) Shame on you, how can you say such things to your elders? Nevermind, come on, let's all have a drink. Bastard! I'll tear him to pieces! Hey, what are you saying? Let's not worry about those things when we have these two beautiful young ladies to enjoy ourselves with. (laughing) (banging) I'm sleeping. Hey, what's wrong? He's so cold to us, we've done nothing to him. Didn't you see his pigtails? He acts just like a woman! (Laughing) He is more like a woman than a man! Well, you're a man. So, does he love you? Shut your mouth! Come on, let's go. No wait, don't rush. No, I can't wait! If you rush, then you're gonna spoil the mood. What do you want? I want you to come and undress me. But not using your hands. But how? I can't wait! Just how am I gonna do that? You idiot, you'd use your mouth. Well? Do you like that? Yeah, that's great, yeah. (moaning) Mr. Cheng? Mr. Cheng? Mr. Cheng, what troubles you? Nothing. If nothing, why are you out here alone? I'm resting. I can't see, but I can listen. You never say much, or even laugh. Right. I am troubled. Everyone has some worry. You mean, you have troubles? Naturally. Mother's dead. I just have an aunt, she is kind, but that's all. Actually, you should worry about your eyes. It's no use. Oh, no. If you go to the city, find a foreign doctor, maybe you'll see again. (gasps) Really? It's the only chance. Sure. But where do I find the money? Don't worry, when I'm finished here, I'll take you. Thank you! Mr. Cheng, thank you. [Aunt] Xiao-Mei! Yes? [Aunt] The sheriff is leaving. I'm coming. (knocking) Who's there? [Wei] It's me, Ho-Cheng Wei. What do you want? [Wei] Can I come in? Dammit, come in! (whispering) That way. I've got it! See you soon. Yes, goodbye. Goodbye. (yelling) That's enough. Sheriff, are you okay? Sure. Come on, we'll take you home. Please come in. Please, who are you looking for? I... (crashing) (dramatic music) Who are you? I'm known as Pigtail Pang. I don't want you. (chuckling) Well I'm here. So no matter who are you, you come outside, and we'll see just what you're made of. (groaning) Go on. Take her away. Help me! Help! Help me! (screaming) Get off her, let go, let go! Pang! I've been waiting for you! Get him! Listen. Spare my life. Last time I spared you, you didn't learn. It's not my idea. I disobeyed orders. Who's orders? Talk! We're all hired. Who by then? Lun, Lun Sanye. (groaning) (whipping) (going ringing) The great whip. Good. Great whip. That's some great throwing. But I'll never be able to do anything as good as he does. Sanye! What's wrong? Wide-Eye, Tiger-Wang and Playboy, all of them killed by that young kid! What? Where is he now? He's out front, fighting like mad with our men. Let's go. No. Like this. Hide yourselves, wait for my sign, then use your knives. Right. [Sanye] Hold it! So you're Lun Sanye. Uh sure. Truly, brother, I'm sorry I didn't meet you when you first arrived in this place. Sorry. (Laughing) Yeah, but you sent your men to come and meet me, and I'm grateful. Ah, it was nothing. Maybe there was a mistake there. Wanna come to my house? Please? Please. (Chuckling) Sit down, sit down. Uh, what are you called? Jeng-Ko Cheng. I'm a police officer from Shandong. I'm here to arrest you. You see? For these 19 crimes. Ah, never mind. I really shouldn't have made you come all this way to arrest me. I'll go quickly with you. Well then? What do you say? Ah, you are a government officer, right? So what? (laughing) When you get promoted to officer rank, or you've been arranged to become police commissioner, how much money do you think you'll make each month? Working for government, money's not important. Ah, let's not talk so foolishly. We can be good friends. What do you mean? Let me free. No way. The law is right. Come on. Why are you being so stubborn? Law is dead. But we are alive. Why don't you be a little more sensible. Come on, look. I'll give you $10,000, you can do as you want. Eh, well then? Officer Jeng? I refuse! You keep quiet. You want me to charge you with bribery? What? Well, bribery would just make one more charge. It won't make much difference. Huh. I wanna ask you, did you come from Wayne County? Huh? (Laughing) I've been around, in all parts of this area. But not as far as a county of Wayne. You were an accountant, that right? Me, accountant? Can't make a good living these days, don't you agree? One thing. Was your name Lun Taichen, and did you know Cheng Tachwan? Cheng Tachwan? Cheng Tachwan? Cheng Tachwan? (dramatic music) Sir, these men. Are you Cheng Tachwan? Sure, what is it? A search. A search? What's wrong? Search. [Guard] Hey kiddo, you got a visitor. Lun Taichen. Go get some money. Go into town quickly. Do something to get me out of this place. I'm innocent. Boss, selling drugs is serious, it's hard to fix. What's more... You see? You are completely broke. In fact, you owe over $4,000. You! (laughing) You, you, son of a bitch! Lun Taichen, you're a bastard. You betrayed me! Madame, won't you? (laughing) (plate crashing) Really? Cheng Tachwan was my father. I was young then, studying in Tensen. And now. That's enough! You're mistaken. No mistake! Witnesses? I will be a witness. He is Lun Taichen. He's your father's old accountant. And he caused your father's death, by betraying him and watching him die in jail. And then he drove your mother to insanity. Shut up! Who are you? I'm Old Honshu, Jeng's old servant. I know you stole that factory from them, and then all their land, and after that you got rid of every last one of their servants. But here you are, hunted by the police. You, you, ran away that night. I met you a few years ago, and I've been following you ever since then, just waiting for the chance to get my revenge. I want to see you die before my very own eyes! You're telling lies! Honshu! You go! Right. Come with me! Uncle. Where's Lun Sanye? He escaped. You okay? Nevermind. (gasping) You okay? Lun Sanye. Lun Sanye? Tell me, what happened to Mei? Gone. They've gone. Where'd they go? To the mountains. (dramatic music) Allow me. (laughing) (whimpering) It's okay, Xiao-Mei. Spare me, I beg you! Mr. Cheng, let me go! Let you go? You killed so many people, I'm putting you in jail! (triumphant Western music) Brother Jeng, you're going. You will come back? Just as soon as I can. Really? Of course, and then I'll take you to see a doctor. Take care. Let's go. See you! See you. Hello? - 120 over 80. - Okay, Bob. That oughta do it. Good. How's everything look? Everything seems fine: solids, liquids, triglycerides, cholesterol, blood sugar, E.K.G. Actually, it is one of the most boring physicals I have ever given. Now, you might be a couple of pounds overweight... but at least... we know where it is. Are you.. Are you saying I'm fat? Fat? No. Let's just say you're a little short for your weight. I mean, I think you're in pretty good shape for a 49-year-old man. I'm 41. Bob, your chart says... 49. Well, I'm definitely 41, at least I will be this Thursday. Then why does your chart say 49? Oh, That's a one. My ones look like nines. Listen, Bob. Now that I know you're eight years younger... you're also about eight pounds too heavy. Now I don't want to frighten you, but it's just possible... that every pound overweight could mean a year off your life. Well, it doesn't frighten me because... I hadn't made any special plans for those last eight years anyway. Oh, good. Miss Burke, get Dr. Hartley a copy of that- - High-protein diet? - High-protein diet. Here you go, Dr. Hartley. Bob, you are gonna like this diet. It's sensible, easy to follow, and you don't have to turn anything purple. Good. As long as it's easy to follow. Now look. Get yourself a good medical scale. Weigh yourself twice a day and keep a chart of it. Carry this counter wherever you go. Keep track of your daily intake of cholesterol and fats. Always ask yourself, are there any hidden carbohydrates in the food you eat. Watch fried foods. Now, whenever you do anything strenuous, check your pulse. Do deep breathing exercises. Stay away from starches and sugars, and that's it. Now, if you will also supplement... with twice the adult minimum daily vitamin requirements... and do six and a half minutes of isometrics every day, it's easy, Bob. Wouldn't it be easier if I just stopped eating? Yeah, that might work too. Hi, honey. - Hi, dear. How'd it go with Dr. Klein? - Oh, fine. Fine. Good. Any change since your last physical? No. Everything's fine. Oh, great. You want a drink before dinner, honey? No. Well, there's some fruit, if you wanna munch. No munching. Bob, Is there something you're not telling me? Well, I just have to go on a little diet. I have to start counting the calories and... try to get rid of that. Oh, that? Honey, that's just a little happy fat. I think it's cute. Emily, fat isn't cute unless you're nine months old and you're playing with a Busy Box. Well, it shouldn't be hard to lose three or four pounds. - Uh, eight pounds. - Eight? Well, I know you can do it, and I'll help you every step of the way, Bob. I'll help you every inch of the way. Emily, why are you making such a big thing about eight pounds? Well, eight pounds are not easy to lose. Well, they are for me, once I set my mind to it. - Uh, what's that? - Dr. Klein gave me this, calorie counter. You know, it's amazing how much food you can eat if you eat the right food. I mean, like, I could eat a whole cow, as long as I didn't butter it. Come in. Emily? Emily, wait till you see the present I picked out for- Howard? Bob- Bob, Howard's here. Hi, Bob. I didn't realize you were here. Yeah, I kind of live here, Howard. Of course you do, and you should. Well, I can come back later. I just, stopped by to say hello. - Yes. Howard just... stopped by to say hello. - That's right. Hello, Howard. Hello. Howard, is there something you wanna discuss in private with Emily? No, no, no, Bob. Uh, no. Nothing at all. Uh, well, so you got a birthday coming up, huh? Wow. Forty-one. That's a biggie. That's a really big biggie. I hope, nobody in this room is, planning anything for my birthday. Like what, Bob? Oh, like people jumping out of closets, people jumping up from behind furniture... and, expecting me to be surprised when I'm not surprised. Oh, don't be silly, Bob. Now we agreed it's just gonna be a nice, quiet dinner with a few close friends. Yeah, the... quieter, the better when you're past 40. Why celebrate? I mean, It's all downhill from here. You're heading into the twilight time. You think I oughta cash in my chips, Howard? I don't know, but I'd keep them handy, if I were you. Okay. Here's your dinner, honey. Lettuce, cottage cheese, tomato, a slice of melon and some cold chicken. - I hope it's all on your diet. - A diet? What's wrong, Bob? Oh, nothing. Bob just went for his physical today... and he's gotta lose weight, so he's gotta watch his calories for a while. Oh, That's bad. No, it isn't, Howard. A lot of people are on diets. Oh, no, no. This is a bad diet. I mean, Look at this. Cantaloupe and cottage cheese and tomatoes- I mean, it's full of carbohydrates. I mean, that's what you should be counting. - Well, what do you suggest, Howard? - Water. You should drink water. I mean, just drink all your water you can get inside yourself. You know, just lots and lots of water. That way it'll fill up your stomach, and you won't get hungry. And you won't get thirsty either. Oh, good. That way I can slosh my way through my twilight years. Bob? I hope I went peacefully Sorry, Emily. I didn't know you were awake. Bob? What are you doing? Oh, I... couldn't go to sleep, so I thought I'd weigh myself. Well, how much did you lose? I'm afraid I'm like the stock market. I'm up an eighth. Emily, this diet isn't working. Well, Bob, you've gotta give it a chance. You've only been on it five hours. Emily, I gained an eighth of a pound in five hours. Well, that's all the water you've been drinking. I can't understand it. I never had a problem with weight... and then all of a sudden, I weigh 10 pounds more than I did on our wedding night. You weighed yourself on our wedding night? I had nothing else to do. You were in the bathroom for 45 minutes. Well, I wanted to look pretty for you, Bob. I was... trying on nightgowns and primping. I mean, after all, Bob, it was a special occasion. You do remember, don't you, sweetheart? I've got to stop my stomach from growling. Maybe I'll have some celery. Uh, celery's all right, isn't it? Oh, it's fine. There's only one problem. It's in the refrigerator, in the back... and you're gonna have to work your way through a lot of other stuff to get to it. Emily, I wasn't even thinking about the banana cream pie. Honey, why don't you just come to bed and don't worry about it? Yeah, you're right. I'll... worry about it tomorrow. - Good night. - Good night, honey. Let's see. An eighth of a pound... in five hours. That's more than a half a pound a day. In a year, I'll weigh... a little over 400 pounds. Well, this is it, Bob. You're really gonna love this place, and these noon classes are really the best... because all the greatest-looking chicks are here. We got... models, dancers, secretaries. Jerry, you didn't tell me there'd be girls here. - Sure. What do you think I'm doing here? - Well, I don't care, Jerry... - as long as I lose eight pounds. - Exercise is the key, Bob. More important than dieting. I don't diet and look at me. That's Olga. She is in charge here. - Guess how old she is. - Uh, 65? That's right. Most people think she's a lot younger than that. Hello, I'm Olga. Olga, I'd like you to meet my good friend Bob Hartley How old do you think I am? Forty, 41. I am 65. - That's amazing. - Yes. Now, what is it that you want to work on? The legs, the thigh, the hips, the bust? A little below the bust. Well, just follow along. We start very slowly in the beginners group. All right. Line up. Arm's distance. Good. We'll start with a little, stretching. Well, so much for the stretching. Now, we go. And... run! One, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two. Bicycle. Bicycle. Hartley, you're behind. One, two. One, two. One, two, one, two. Kitty cat. One more. Fill it off. And run. Off your duff Hartley One, two. One, two. "I greatly appreciated the jar of nuts you sent," comma... "but would you please show up for your next appointment?" Just sign it, "Sincerely yours," and, you can type it after lunch. What's the matter? I went to Jerry's health club, and I tried to keep up with a 65-year-old woman. Did you lose any weight? I don't know. I'm too sore to get up on the scale. Ha-ha. Listen, Bob. Do you want another pitcher of water before I go to lunch... or should I just run a hose in here? You know, Carol, being on a diet is bad enough without people making fun of it. I mean, you probably don't know that. You've probably never been on a diet. In five minutes, I will have been on a diet for seven years. You looking forward to your birthday party, Bob? It's not a party, Carol. It's, just a small dinner. In my case, a very small dinner. Oh, listen, Bob. I wanna ask you something. Do you think I can have an extra 15 minutes off for lunch? I have to buy a birthday present for someone. Oh, sure. Take as much time as you want and buy that somebody something real nice. I certainly will. - Well, see you later. - Right. - You pressed the button? - Mm-hmm. - Well, see you after lunch. - Right, Bob. Later. - You're going down, right? - Oh, yeah. Down. No place to eat up there. Why don't I, just press the button again? - Oh, thanks, Bob. See you soon. - Right. Later. See you then. Uh, this elevator's broken. You'll have to use that one. Well, that's about it for me, Bob. I'll be, moving along now. - Right. - Right. Hey, Bob? What are you doing for lunch? I'm doing it, Jerry. Where are you going? I'd better not tell. I don't think you want to know. Go ahead Jerry. It won't bother me. Well, I'm going to a new smorgasbord place: Mr. Bulk. They got all-you-can-eat for an hour. - That's it. Lunch. - So what do you got today, Mel? Liverwurst and Swiss, I think. Oh, yeah. There's liverwurst and Swiss. Yeah. All three of 'em, liverwurst and Swiss. You wanna swap? I got a bacon and avocado... and a tuna fish and tomato on a kaiser roll I'll give you the liverwurst and Swiss for the tuna fish and tomato... and I'll throw in a piece of chocolate cake. No, you keep the chocolate cake. Besides, I got a piece of, lemon meringue pie anyway. Well, I gotta get rid of one of these sandwiches. Toss it down the shaft. Oh, we have a... wastepaper basket here. I'll throw it out. Ah. Thanks a lot, fella. That's nice of you. Thank you. - Hi, honey. - Hi, sweetheart. Happy birthday. Well, how was your day? Fine, fine. No... surprises. I just hope it stays that way. Well, honey, you're really gonna be surprised, because there's no surprise party. - Just five friends and a nice, quiet dinner. - Good. Come on. Take off your coat. Let me see. Come on. Turn around. You know, Bob, It's the third day of your diet... and that weight is just... falling off. - I'm, surprised you recognize me. - Yeah. - Something smells good. What is it? - Oh, it's not for you, honey. It's for the company. I know you don't like lasagna. That's why I made it. Well, if I don't like it, why does it smell so good? - What, what do I get? - Oh, it's over there on that dish. It looks so lonely and so small. Is this all I get to eat? Oh, no, honey. You get a big salad with lemon juice and a big glass of water. Great. if I want seconds, I'll just, rattle my cup against the bars of my cell. Oh, honey. It's not that bad. You can have some of the hors d'oeuvres. Oh, good. No, no. Not those. The ones with the yellow toothpicks in them. - The yellow toothpicks. - Yeah. Oh, honey. I know it's rough, but it's worth it, isn't it? - Emily, come here. - What is it? Sit down. Emily, I've been cheating. Cheating? Eating cheating? You know today, when you called the office, and Carol said I couldn't talk? - Yeah? - Well, I couldn't talk... because my mouth was full of chocolate-covered peanut brittle. Oh, Bob! Emily, Let me finish. The peanut brittle was just the dessert. The appetizer was a liverwurst and Swiss cheese sandwich. - Oh, Bob. How could you? - Emily, I'm still not finished. Then I went down to the snack bar... and I snacked on almost every bar they had. Do you mean while I was stuffing radishes, you were stuffing your face? Well, Emily. I don't know what came over me. I just-The minute I walked in there, I wanted to attack anything edible. I felt like... Bela Lugosi in a room full of necks. Emily, hunger is a terrible thing, and I gave in to it. And You know what's worse than all of that put together? - What? - I'm still hungry. Well, Bob, what do you want me to say? I mean, eat whatever you want, stuff yourself like a pig? Start your diet next week or tomorrow or never? Well, It is my birthday. Fine. Why don't you eat your gifts? You're not very proud of me, are you? You know, Bob, I- I wasn't gonna give you your present till later... but I think I'll give it to you now. I think it'll help you control your appetite. What is it, a muzzle? Oh, honey that's a very expensive suit that I was so crazy about. Yeah, but you were crazy about it in a larger size. Bob, the waist is two inches smaller than your waist. I mean, I thought it would give you something to shoot for. I know you can do it, honey. - Hi; Bob. Happy birthday - Oh, Hi, Howard. Well, I got your present. Guess what it is. - Feels like lead. - Yeah, go ahead, Open it up. See for yourself. It's a belt. Yeah, I, got it in Tokyo. It takes the weight right off. I had a hard time, finding your size there. Not too many guys as heavy as you are in Japan. - Is this the way you wear it? - Yeah, you wear it under your clothes. Uh, here. Let me show you with your coat here. Wear it playing tennis or handball or golf. Just don't go swimming in it. I'll get it, honey. Oh. - Hi. - Hi, dear. - Hi, Emily. - Hi, Jer. Come on in. Oh, hi, Howard. Bob. Happy birthday. Here. It's a cake. Well, I can only eat it if it's made out of water. Well, it almost is. Uh, let's see. It's made out of, your lettuce, bean sprouts, your ground carrots. Sounds delicious. Well, we don't know, Bob. Nobody's ever eaten one. - Let me put it in the kitchen. - Yeah, and I'll make us all a drink. Oh, Thank you, Howard. Gee, if I'd have known it was gonna be formal, I'd have worn my cummerbund. Go ahead. Open her right up. - What do you guys want to drink? - Scotch for me, Howard. - Uh, I'll have a glass of wine. - Me too. - Uh, Bob? - What the heck? It's my birthday. Uh- Give me a glass of water, and... drop a ice cube in it for flavor. All right? That's the latest diet book there, Bob. Number five on the best-seller list. - "Hey, Fat"? - Yeah. See, the author explains that title there in the introduction. That's what they used to call him when he was a kid. "Hey, Fat!" He got so mad that he set about as his life's work to make himself skinny, and it worked. That's a picture of him on the back cover. - Where? - Right there. If he writes another book, he should title it Hey Corpse. Okay, gang. Why don't we gather around, and... drink a toast to the birthday boy here. - Okay? Here, Emily. This is yours, dear. - Oh, Thank you. Bob. Okay. - Okay, ready? - Ready. Here's to Bob Hartley. We wanna see more of him... - but we hope we see less. - I get it. I get it. - Cheers, cheers. - Cheers, cheers. Cheers. Look at that. Aren't you going to drink your water? I don't think I can drink any more water, Howard... especially with this belt. What's that got to do with it? Well, I have to go to the bathroom, and I... - can't stand up. - Oh, honey. Bob's gotta go to the... bathroom. Excuse us. - Honey, you okay? - Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Shh. Quiet. - Surprise! - For he's a jolly good fellow For he 's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow Which nobody can deny - Speech. - Speech, speech, speech. All right. This, I'll have to admit this really was a surprise, and I- I wanna tell you how much I appreciate it, but- - Aw. - I really have to go to the bathroom. - Uh, Emily? - What? How do I look? Oh, I love the pants. But the jacket doesn't match. No, no. I lost two inches around my waist. Oh, Bob. I'm gonna miss that happy fat. But you are a lot sexier this way. You know, I lost 10 pounds. Bob, you weigh exactly what you weighed on our wedding night. - Right. - Ah. Where are you going? Oh, I'll be back... in 45 minutes. - [Rings] - Hello? - 120 over 80. - Okay, Bob. That oughta do it. Good. How's everything look? Everything seems fine: solids, liquids, triglycerides, cholesterol, blood sugar, E.K.G. Actually, it is one of the most boring physicals I have ever given. Now, you might be a couple of pounds overweight... but at least... we know where it is. - [Giggles] - Are you, uh - Are you saying I'm fat? Fat? No. Let's just say you're a little short for your weight. I mean, I think you're in pretty good shape for a 49-year-old man. I'm, uh-I'm 41. Bob, your chart says... 49. Well, I'm - I'm definitely 41, at least I will be this Thursday. Then why does your chart say 49? Oh, that's - That's a one. My, uh - My ones look like nines. Listen, Bob. Now that I know you're eight years younger... you're also about eight pounds too heavy. Now I don't want to frighten you, but it's just possible... that every pound overweight could mean a year off your life. Well, it- it doesn't frighten me because, uh... I hadn't made any special plans for those last eight years anyway. Oh, good. Miss Burke, get Dr. Hartley a copy of that- - High-protein diet? - High-protein diet. Here you go, Dr. Hartley. Bob, you are gonna like this diet. It's sensible, easy to follow, and you don't have to turn anything purple. Good. As long as it's easy to follow. Now look. Get yourself a good medical scale. Weigh yourself twice a day and keep a chart of it. Carry this counter wherever you go. Keep track of your daily intake of cholesterol and fats. Always ask yourself, are there any hidden carbohydrates in the food you eat. Watch fried foods. Now, whenever you do anything strenuous, check your pulse. Do deep breathing exercises. Stay away from starches and sugars, and that's it. Now, if you will also supplement with twice the adult minimum daily vitamin requirements... and do six and a half minutes of isometrics every day, it's easy, Bob. Wouldn't it be easier if I just stopped eating? Yeah, that might work too. Hi, honey. - Hi, dear. How'd it go with Dr. Klein? - Oh, fine. Fine. Good. Any change since your last physical? No. Everything's - Everything's fine. Oh, great. You want a drink before dinner, honey? [Clicks Tongue] No. Well, there's some fruit, if you wanna munch. No, uh - No munching. Bob, is - Is there something you're not telling me? Well, I just have to go on a little diet. I have to start counting the calories and... try to get rid of that. Oh, that? Honey, that's just a little happy fat. I think it's cute. [Chuckles] Emily, fat isn't cute unless you're nine months old and you're playing with a Busy Box. Well, it shouldn't be hard to lose three or four pounds. - Uh, eight pounds. - Eight? Well, I know you can do it, and I'll help you every step of the way, Bob. I'll help you every inch of the way. Emily, uh, why are you making such a big thing about eight pounds? Well, eight pounds are not easy to lose. Well, they are for me, once I set my mind to it. - Uh, w-what's that? - Oh, Dr. Klein gave me this, uh, calorie counter. You know, it's amazing how much food you can eat if you eat the right food. I mean, like, I could eat a- a whole cow, as long as I didn't butter it. - [ Doorbell Buzzes ] - [Emily] Come in. Emily? Emily, wait till you see the present I picked out for- Uh, Howard? Uh, Bob- Bob, Howard's here. Hi, Bob. I, uh- I didn't realize you were here. Yeah, I-I kind of live here, Howard. Of course you do, and- and you should. Uh - Well, I can come back later. I just, uh, stopped by to say hello. - Yes. Howard just... stopped by to say hello. - That's right. Hello, Howard. Hello. Howard, is there something you wanna discuss in private with Emily? No, no, no, Bob. Uh, no. Nothing at all. Uh, well, so you got a birthday coming up, huh? Wow. Forty-one. That's a biggie. That's a really big biggie. I hope, uh, nobody in this room is, uh, planning anything for my birthday. Like what, Bob? Oh, like people jumping out of closets, people jumping up from behind furniture... and, uh, expecting me to be surprised when I'm not surprised. Oh, don't be silly, Bob. Now we agreed it's just gonna be a nice, quiet dinner with a few close friends. Yeah, the... quieter, the better when you're past 40. Why celebrate? I mean, it's- It's all downhill from here. You're heading into the twilight time. You think I oughta cash in my chips, Howard? I don't know, but I'd keep them handy, if I were you. Okay. Here's your dinner, honey. Lettuce, cottage cheese, tomato, a slice of melon and some cold chicken. - I hope it's all on your diet. - A diet? What's wrong, Bob? Oh, nothing. Bob just went for his physical today... and he's gotta lose weight, so he's gotta watch his calories for a while. Oh, that's - That's bad. No, it isn't, Howard. A lot of people are on diets. Oh, no, no. This is a bad diet. I mean, look at - Look at this. Cantaloupe and cottage cheese and tomatoes- I mean, it's full of carbohydrates. I mean, that's what you should be counting. - Well, what do you suggest, Howard? - Water. You should drink water. I mean, just drink all your water you can get inside yourself. You know, just lots and lots of water. That way it'll fill up your stomach, and you won't get hungry. And you won't get thirsty either. Oh, good. That way I can slosh my way through my twilight years. [Gurgling] Bob? I hope I went peacefully Sorry, Emily. I didn't know you were awake. Bob? What are you doing? Oh, I... couldn't go to sleep, sol thought I'd weigh myself. - Well, how much did you lose? - I'm afraid I'm like the stock market. I'm up an eighth. Emily, this diet isn't working. Well, Bob, you've gotta give it a chance. You've only been on it five hours. Emily, I gai-I gained an eighth of a pound in five hours. Well, that's all the water you've been drinking. I can't understand it. I never had a problem with weight... and then all of a sudden, I weigh 10 pounds more than I did on our wedding night. You weighed yourself on our wedding night? I had nothing else to do. You were in the bathroom for 45 minutes. How could she fly off the bed like that? Pathological states can induce abnormal strength accelerated motor performance. For example say a 90-pound woman sees her child pinned under the wheel of a truck runs out and lifts the wheels a half a foot up off the ground. You've heard the story. Same thing here. Same principle, I mean. So what's wrong with her? We still think that the temporal lobe-- What are you talking about, for Christ's sake? Did you see her or not? She's acting like she's fucking out of her mind! Psychotic, like a split personality, or.... There haven't been more than 1 00 authentic cases of so-called "split personality," Mrs. MacNeil. Now, I know the temptation is to leap to psychiatry but any reasonable psychiatrist would exhaust the somatic possibilities first. So, what's next? A pneumoencephalogram, I would think, to pin down that lesion. It will involve another spinal. Oh, Christ! What we missed in the EEG and the arteriograms could conceivably turn up there. At least it would eliminate certain other possibilities. Dr. Tanney says the X-rays are negative. In other words: normal. Do you keep any drugs in your house? No, of course not. Nothing like that. Are you sure? Of course, I'm sure. I'd tell you. Christ, I don't even smoke grass. Are you planning to be home soon? I mean to L.A. No, I.... I'm building a new house. My old one has been sold. I was going to take Regan to Europe for a while after she finished school. Why do you ask? I think it's time we started looking for a psychiatrist. When I touch your forehead, open your eyes. Are you comfortable, Regan? Hello? What do you mean going off and leaving Regan by herself? Are you crazy? Her window's wide open! -Didn't he tell you? -Didn't who tell me? What's Burke got to do with it? Nobody was here. When I went to get the Thorazine I had him stay with her, and.... -I should have known better. -I guess you should have! How were the tests? We have to start looking for a shrink. Hi, Chuck. Come on in. I suppose you heard. Heard what? You haven't heard. Burke is dead. He must've been drunk. He fell from the top of the steps outside. By the time he hit M Street, he broke his neck. Oh, God! Yeah, I know. Yes. How old are you? Twelve. Is there someone inside you? Sometimes. Who is it? I don't know. Is it Captain Howdy? I don't know. If I ask him to tell me, will you let him answer? No. Why not? I'm afraid. If he talks to me, I think he'll leave you. Do you want him to leave you? Yes. I'm speaking to the person inside of Regan now. If you are there, you, too, are hypnotized and must answer all my questions. Come forward and answer me now. Are you the person inside of Regan? Who are you? It looks like a type of disorder that's rarely ever seen anymore except in primitive cultures. We call it "somnambular-form possession. " Father Karras? Have we met? No, we haven't met, but they said I could tell. That you look like a boxer. William F. Kinderman. Homicide. What's this all about? It's true. You do look like a boxer. Like John Garfield in Body And Soul. Exactly. John Garfield. Do people tell you that, Father? Do people say you look like Paul Newman? Always. You know this director who was doing the film here Burke Dennings? I've seen him. You've seen him. You're also familiar how last week he died? Only what I read in the papers. Father, what do you know on the subject of witchcraft? From the witching end, not the hunting. I once did a paper on it. Really? From the psychiatric end. I know. I read it. AII of this desecration in the church do you think this has anything to do with witchcraft? Maybe. Some rituals used in the Black Mass. And now Dennings. You read how he died? In a fall. Let me tell you how. Please, Father confidential. Burke Dennings, good Father was found at the bottom of those steps leading to M street with his head turned completely around facing backwards. That didn't happen in the fall? It's possible. -Possible, however-- -Unlikely. Exactly. So, on the one hand, we've got a witchcraft kind of murder and on the other hand, a Black Mass-type desecration in the church. You think the killer and the desecrator are the same? Maybe somebody crazy somebody with a spite against the Church. Some unconscious rebellion. A sick priest, is that it? Look, Father, this is hard for you. Please, I understand but for priests on the campus here, you're the psychiatrist. You'd know who was sick at the time, who wasn't. I mean, this kind of sickness, you'd know that. I don't know anyone who fits that description.Doctor's ethics. If you knew, you wouldn't tell? No, I probably wouldn't. Not to bother you with trivia, but a psychiatrist in sunny California, no less was put in jail for not telling the police what he knew about a patient. Is that a threat? No, I mention it only in passing. Incidentally, I mention it only in passing I could always tell the judge it was a matter of confession. Father, wait a minute! -Do you like movies? -Very much. Well, I get passes to the best shows in town. Mrs. K, you know, she gets tired, never likes to go. That's too bad. I hate to go alone. I love to talk film discuss, to critique. You want to see a film with me? I've got passes to the Crest. It's Othello. Who's in it? Debbie Reynolds: Desdemona and Othello: Groucho Marx. Are you happy? I've seen it. One last time. Can you think of some priest who fits the bill? Come on! No, answer the question, Father Paranoia. All right. You know who I think really did it? Who? The Dominicans. Go pick on them. I could have you deported, you know that? I lied. You look like Sal Mineo. Quite frankly, we really don't know much about it at all, except that it starts with a conflict or a guilt and it leads to the patient's delusions that his body has been invaded by some alien intelligence: A spirit, if you will. Look, I'm telling you again, and you'd better believe me I am not going to lock her up in some goddamn asylum ! And I don't care what you call it. I'm not putting her away! I'm sorry. You're sorry? Jesus Christ! 88 doctors and all you can tell me, with all your bullshit is.... Of course, there is one outside chance for a cure. I think of it as a shock treatment. As I said, it's a very outside chance. Would you just name it, for God's sake? What is it? -Do you have any religious beliefs? -No. What about your daughter? No. Why? Have you ever heard of exorcism? Well, it's a stylized ritual in which the rabbi or the priest try to drive out the so-called invading spirit. It's been discarded these days except by the Catholics, who keep it in the closet as a sort of embarrassment. But it has worked in fact, although, not for the reasons they think. It's purely force of suggestion. The victim's belief in possession is what helped cause it, so in that same way the belief in the power of exorcism can make it disappear. You're telling me I should take my daughter to a witch doctor. Is that it? Might your daughter remember, perhaps if Mr. Dennings was in her room that night? Why do you ask? Might she remember? Did you put this in Regan's bedroom? She's going to be well? Karl, if you put this in Regan's bedroom, I want you to tell me. Now, did you? No, not me. I didn't. This was under Regan's pillow. Did you put it there? Of course, I didn't. I didn't put it. Excuse me, madam. What? -A man to see you. -What man? You're a very nice lady. -Thank you. -You're a nice man. I'll come back when she's feeling better. No, she was heavily sedated. It's serious? Yes, I'm afraid it is. May I ask...? We still don't know. Watch out for drafts. A draft in the fall, when the house is hot, is a magic carpet for bacteria. Excuse me, madam. Anything else? No, Karl, we're fine. Thank you. It's all right. Why are you asking all this? It's strange. The deceased comes to visit, stays only 20 minutes and leaves all alone a very sick girl. And speaking plainly, Mrs. MacNeil it isn't likely he would fall from a window. Besides, a fall wouldn't do to his neck what we found. Except maybe one chance in a thousand. No. My hunch.... My opinion he was killed by a very powerful man: point one. And the fracturing of his skull: point two plus the various other things we mentioned would make it very probable probable, not certain that the deceased was killed and then pushed from your daughter's window. But nobody was in the room except your daughter, so how can this be? It could be one way. If someone came calling between the time Miss Spencer left and the time you returned. Judas Priest, just a second. The servants? They have visitors? Not at all. You were expecting a package that day, some delivery? Not that I know of. Groceries, cleaning...a package? I really wouldn't know. Karl takes care of all that. I see. Would you like to ask him? No, never mind, it's it's very remote. No, never mind. Would you like some more coffee? Please. That's cute. Your daughter, she's the artist? Thank you. Incidentally you might ask your daughter if she remembers seeing Mr. Dennings in her room that night. Look, he wouldn't have any reason in the world to go up to her room. I know, I realize, but if certain British doctors never asked, "What is this fungus?" we wouldn't today have penicillin. Correct? When she's better, I'll ask her. It couldn't hurt. In the meantime.... That's okay. I really hate to ask you this, but for my daughter, could you please give an autograph? Of course. Where's a pencil? Right here. She'd love it! What's her name? I lied. It's for me. The spelling is on the back: Kinderman. You know that film you made, Angel? I saw that six times! Really? It was beautiful. Thank you. -'Bye. -'Bye. Please, no! -Do it! -Please, don't! You bitch! Do it! Please, no! Let Jesus fuck you! Let Jesus fuck you! Give it! Give it to me! Lick me! Lick me! Mrs. MacNeil, open the door! Do you know what she did, your cunting daughter? Chris MacNeil? Please go away. I'm Father Karras. I'm very sorry. Hello. I should have told you I wouldn't be in uniform. Yeah, that would have helped. Have you got a cigarette, Father? Thanks. Cold. How did a shrink ever get to be a priest? It's the other way around. The Society sent me through medical school. Where? Harvard, Bellevue Johns Hopkins. Places like that. -You're a friend of Father Dyer's, right? -Yes, I am. -Pretty close? -Pretty close. Did he talk to you about my party? He sure did. About my daughter? No, I didn't know you had one. -He didn't mention her? -No. He didn't tell you what she did? He didn't mention her. Priests are pretty tight-mouthed then? That depends. -On what? -The priest. I mean, what if a person came to you, you know, that was a murderer or a criminal of some kind and they wanted some kind of help? Would you have to turn them in? Well, if he came to me for spiritual advice, I'd say no. -You wouldn't? -No, I wouldn't. But I would try to convince him to turn himself in. And, how do you go about getting an exorcism? I beg your pardon? If a person's, you know, possessed by a demon, or something how do they get an exorcism? First, I'd have to get them into a time machine and get them back to the 1 6th century. I didn't get you. It just doesn't happen anymore, Mrs. MacNeil. Oh, yes? Since when? Since we learned about mental illness, paranoia, schizophrenia. All those things they taught me at Harvard. Mrs. MacNeil, since the day I joined the Jesuits I've never met one priest who has performed an exorcism. Not one. Yeah, well it just so happens that somebody very close to me is probably possessed. And needs an exorcist. Father Karras, it's my little girl. Then that's all the more reason to forget about exorcism. Why? I don't understand. To begin with, it could make things worse. How? Secondly, the Church, before it approves an exorcism conducts an investigation to see if it's warranted. That takes time. -You could do it yourself. -No, I couldn't. I'd need Church approval, and that's rarely given. Could you see her? Yes, I could. I could see her as a psychiatrist-- Not a psychiatrist! She needs a priest! She's seen every fucking psychiatrist in the world and they sent me to you ! Are you gonna send me back to them? Jesus Christ, won't somebody help me? You don't understand-- Can't you help her? Just help her! It wants no straps. Hello, Regan. I'm a friend of your mother's. I'd like to help you. You might loosen these straps, then. I'm afraid you might hurt yourself, Regan. I'm not Regan. I see. Well, then, let's introduce ourselves. I'm Damien Karras. And I am the devil. Now kindly undo these straps. If you're the devil, why not make the straps disappear? That's much too vulgar a display of power, Karras. Where's Regan? In here, with us. Show me Regan and I'll loosen one of the straps. Could you help an old altar boy, Father? Your mother is in here with us, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it. If that's true then you must know my mother's maiden name. What is it? What is it? Hello, Daddy? This is me. Thank you. Look, I'm only against the possibility of doing her more harm than good. Nothing you could do could make it any worse. I can't do it. I need evidence that the Church would accept as signs of possession. Like what? Her speaking in a language she's never known or studied. What else? I don't know. I'd have to look it up. I thought you were supposed to be an expert. There are no experts. You probably know as much about possession as most priests. Your daughter doesn't say she's a demon. She says she's the devil himself. If you've seen as many psychotics as I have, you'd realize that's the same as saying you're Napoleon Bonaparte. You asked me what I think is best for your daughter. Six months under observation in the best hospital you can find. You show me Regan's double same face, same voice, everything and I'd know it wasn't Regan. I'd know in my gut. I'm telling you that that thing upstairs isn't my daughter. I want you to tell me that you know for a fact there's nothing wrong with my daughter except in her mind! Tell me you know for a fact that an exorcism wouldn't do any good! You tell me that! Did Regan know a priest was coming over? No. Did you know my mother died recently? Yes, I did. I'm very sorry. Is Regan aware of it? Not at all. Why do you ask? It's not important. Good night. You know, I'm like in seclusion. No, I'm just exhausted from work. -What should I say anyway? -Just talk to your daddy. Tell him what you've been doing and how you're feeling. I hope you can hear me. Can you hear me okay? He's not going to answer you. Talk to your daddy, honey. I don't know what to say. Well, let's see. First we.... No.... Wait. I don't know. -Tell him about Washington. -Okay. You see, we're in Washington now, Daddy, and.... "He broke the bread, and gave it to his disciples and said: "'Take this, all of you, and eat it. "'For this is my body.' "When the supper was ended, he took the cup. "Again he gave you thanks and praise. "He gave the cup to his disciples and said: 'Take this... "'...all of you, and drink from it. "'This is the cup of my blood. "'The blood of the new and everlasting Covenant, the mystery of faith."' What an excellent day for an exorcism. You'd like that? Intensely. But wouldn't that drive you out of Regan? It would bring us together. You and Regan? You and us. Did you do that? Do it again. In time. No, now. In time. Mirabile dictu, don't you agree? You speak Latin? Ego te absolvo. Quod nomen mihi est? Bonjour! Quod nomen mihi est? La plume de ma tante. How long are you planning to stay in Regan? Until she rots and lies stinking in the earth. What's that? Holy water. You keep it away! It burns! Oh, it burns! Who are you? No one. Who are you? She's, she's all right. I don't want to talk about it, okay? Okay, I'll talk to you. I'll call as soon as it's over, all right? No, I just, I'm going through something and I just have to.... No, no.... There's nothing. Hey, thanks a lot. -Want a drink? -Please. What do you drink? Scotch. Ice and water. No ice. I'll get some from the kitchen. That's all right. I'll take it straight. Please sit. Where's her father? In Europe. -Have you told him what's happening? -No. Well, I think you should. I told Regan that was holy water. I sprinkled it on her and she reacted very violently. It's tap water. What's the difference? Holy water is blessed. And that doesn't help support a case for possession. She killed Burke Dennings. What? She killed Burke Dennings. She pushed him out her window. No one! It's a language, all right. It's English. What do you mean? It's English in reverse. Listen. Give us time. Let her die. I am no one. I am no one. Fear the priest. Fear the priest. Merrin! I am no one. Merrin! Fear the priest! Merrin! Yeah? I'll be right there. I don't want Chris to see this. What's wrong? What is it? Father? You're convinced that it's genuine? I don't know. No, not really, I suppose. But I have made a prudent judgment that it meets the conditions set down in The Ritual. You would want to do the exorcism yourself? Yes. It might be best to have a man with experience. Someone who's spent time in the foreign missions. I understand, Your Excellency. Let's see who's around. In the meantime, I'll call you as soon as I know. Thank you, Your Excellency. Well, he does know the background. I doubt there's any danger in just having him assist. There should be a psychiatrist present, anyway. What about the exorcist? Have you any ideas? How about Lankester Merrin? I had a notion he was in Iraq. I read he was working on a dig near Nineveh. You're right, but he's finished. He came back three or four months ago. He's at Woodstock now. What's he doing there, teaching? He's working on another book. Don't you think he's too old, Tom? How's his health? He must be all right. He's still running around digging up tombs. -Besides, he's had experience. -I didn't know that. Ten, 1 2 years ago, I think, in Africa. The exorcism supposedly lasted months. I heard it damn near killed him. Especially important is the warning to avoid conversations with the demon. We may ask what is relevant, but anything beyond that is dangerous. He's a liar. The demon is a liar. -You're Mrs. MacNeil? -Yes. I'm Father Merrin. Come in. Thank you. -Is Father Karras here? -Yes. He's here already. It's an honor to meet you, Father. -Are you very tired? -No. I'd like you to go quickly across to the Residence and gather up a cassock for myself two surplices, a purple stole, and some holy water and your copy of The Roman Ritual. The large one. I believe we should begin. Do you want to hear the background of the case first, Father? Why? Thank you. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Would you like some brandy in that, Father? The doctors say I shouldn't. But thank God my will is weak. He will lie to confuse us. But he will also mix lies with the truth to attack us. The attack is psychological, Damien. And powerful. So don't listen. Remember that. Do not listen! It might be helpful if I gave you some background on the different personalities Regan has manifested. So far, I'd say there seem to be three. -She's convinced that-- -There is only one. What is your daughter's middle name, Mrs. MacNeil? Teresa. What a lovely name. "I command you... "...by the Judge of the Living and the Dead... "...to depart from this servant of God! "It's the power...." Stick your cock up her ass, you mother-fucking worthless cock sucker! Be silent! "Our Father, who art in Heaven... "... Hallowed be Thy name. "Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done... "...on earth as it is in Heaven. "Give us this day our daily bread. "Forgive us our trespasses... "...as we forgive those who trespass against us. "And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one." "Save me, O God, by Thy name. By Thy might, defend my cause. "Proud men have risen up against me, and men of violence seek my life... "...but God is my helper and the Lord sustains my life. "In every need He has delivered me. "Glory be to the Father, to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. "As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end." -"Save your servant... -"...who places her trust in Thee. "Be unto her, O Lord, a fortified tower. "In the face of the enemy... "... let the enemy have no power over her. "And the Son of Iniquity be powerless to harm her." Your mother sucks cocks in Hell, Karras! You faithless slime! "The Lord be with you. -"And also with you. -"Let us pray. "Holy Lord, Almighty Father, Everlasting God... "...and Father of our Lord, Jesus Christ... "...who, once and for all, consigned that fallen tyrant to the flames of Hell... "...who sent your only begotten Son into the world to crush that roaring lion... "...hasten to our call for help... "...and snatch from ruination... "...and from the clutches of the Noon-Day Devil... "...this human being, made in Your image and likeness. "Strike terror, Lord, into the beast... "...now laying waste to your vineyard. "Let Your mighty hand cast him out of Your servant, Regan Teresa MacNeil... "...so he may no longer hold captive this person... "...whom it pleased You to make in Your image... "...and to redeem through Your Son, who lives and reigns with You... "...in the Unity of the Holy Spirit, God, forever and ever. -"Amen. -"O Lord, hear my prayer." Father Karras. Damien. The response, please, Damien! "And let my cry come unto Thee." "Almighty Lord, Word of God the Father, Jesus Christ... "... God and Lord of all creation... "...who gave to your holy apostles... "...the power to tramp underfoot serpents and scorpions. "Grant me... "... Your unworthy servant... "...pardon for all my sins... "...and the power to confront this cruel demon." "See the cross of the Lord. Be gone, you hostile power. "O Lord, hear my prayer. -"The Lord be with you. -"And also with you. "I cast you out, unclean spirit! " -Shove it up your ass, you faggot! -"In the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ! "It is He who commands you ! "He who flung you from the heights of Heaven to the depths of Hell ! " -Fuck him! -"Be gone... "...from this creature of God! "Be gone! "In the name of the Father, and of the Son... "...and of the Holy Spirit. "By this sign of the Holy Cross, of our Lord Jesus Christ... "...who lives and reigns with the Father and the Holy Spirit." Damien! "Amen. "God, Defender of the human race... "... look down in pity--" You killed your mother! You left her alone to die! Shut up! She'll never forgive you! Shut up! Why this girl? It doesn't make sense. Holy water! "It's the power of Christ that compels you ! "The power of Christ compels you ! "The power of Christ compels you ! "The power of Christ compels you ! "He brought you low by his blood-stained cross! "Do not despise my command because you know me to be a sinner. "It is God himself who commands you ! "The majestic Christ who commands you ! "God, the Father, commands you ! "God, the Son, who commands you ! "God, the Holy Spirit, who commands you ! "The mystery of the Cross commands you ! "The blood of the martyrs commands you ! "Give way to Christ, you Prince of Murderers! "You're guilty before Almighty God. "Guilty before His Son. "Guilty before the whole human race. "It is the Lord who expels you... "... He, who is coming to judge both the Living and the Dead... "...and the world, by fire." Are you tired? Let's rest before we start again. I think the point is to make us despair. To see ourselves as animal and ugly. To reject the possibility that God could love us. Will you excuse me, Damien? Dimmy, why do you do this to me? Please, Dimmy. I'm afraid. You're not my mother. Dimmy, please! What is it? Her heart. Can you give her something? She'll go into a coma. You're not my mother! Don't listen. Why, Dimmy? Damien! Dimmy, please! Get out. You son of a bitch! Take me! "Our Father... "...who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name...." Is it over? Is she going to die? No. Come in to me! Goddamn you, take me! Take me! No! Mother. Mother. Mother. Did somebody fall? He fell from the steps here! Rags? Do you want to make your confession? Are you sorry are you sorry for having offended God and for all the sins of your past life? "Ego te absolvo in nomine Patris... "...et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen. " Where do you want this? -What is it? -Phonograph. Storage. That's everything. I'm going to miss you. Same here. Sure you won't change your mind? I found this in her room. You better hurry. Come on, honey, we have to get going. She doesn't remember any of it. That's good. -All done. -Okay. Honey, this is Father Dyer. -Hi, Father. -Hello. Ready, missus. -Good-bye, Father. -Good-bye. I'll call you. 'Bye, Father. -I hope I see you again. -I hope so, too. Father Dyer? I thought you'd like to keep this. Why don't you keep it? You just missed them. How's the girl? She seemed fine. That's important. That's important. Back to business, back to work. -Good-bye, Father. -Good-bye. Father Dyer do you go to films? Sure. I got passes. In fact, I got a pass to the Crest tomorrow night. Would you like to go? -What's playing? - Wuthering Heights. Who's in it? Heathcliff: Jackie Gleason and in the role of Catherine Earnshaw: Lucille Ball. I've seen it. Another one. -Had your lunch? -No. There's a story told in the town of Big Lake, Texas -- a story of the town's beginnings. It's the story of the Santa Rita Number One, birthplace of West Texas Oil. Now, as with most Texas legends, there was a man who thought oil was right beneath his feet. And as with most such stories, no one else believed him. Except in this case for two nuns, who in 1923 met the man and believed so much in him and his dream that they invested money no one knew they had. Now, when the nuns told their parish priest about the man's dream and their investment in it, now, he counseled them to try and get their money back. Sheepishly, they admitted that it was too late, that the money was already spent. Well, the priest, he sighed, shook his head, and offered just one small bit of advice -- bless the site with rose petals, and invoke the help of Saint Rita, patron saint of impossible dreams. And while the workers waited for the oil that would eventually come, they played baseball. He's outta here. Played baseball so well that some were able to give up the dirt and the despair and went on to play major-league ball in the glory days of Ruth and Gehrig. Come on! I've heard and told that story on many occasions, but that was long before Saint Rita decided to bless our little town just one more time. - - Yeah! First game in the big leagues, and Jimmy Morris has a no-hitter going. Agh, Jimmy, don't throw it so hard. My hands are cold. Agh! What are you doing? Waiting till Spring, that's what I'm doing. Jimmy... Your father and I need to talk to you. I hear Virginia's real nice -- at least that's what the Navy folks told your father. Isn't that right, Jim? We'll just be moving again. It's my job to decide when we move. It's yourjob to make the best of it. Jim, please. Who knows? Maybe it won't snow so much in Virginia. "Jimmy Morris, "with another masterful pitching performance, "well on his way to another World Series title." Jimmy... Your father and I need to talk to you. Come on, Jimmy. Hey. Jimmy. Hey, partner. How you doing? Hey. Hey, Dad. Jimmy. Hmm? I had a good game -- 13 strikeouts. Did you win? I just found out there's a chance we may be restationed again. - - How much of a chance? - - It's in West Texas. The Navy wants me to be a recruiter there. Texas? When? Three weeks. But, Dad... We still got half our season to play. I'm aware of that. Well, maybe I could stay with the Johnsons. Unh-unh. We move as a family. I don't have a choice in this. What kind of baseball do they have? They don't. I hear they might be starting some summer ball. Yes, sir. What are those things? What? Those things moving up and down. Oil rigs. When those things are moving up and down, it means times are good. Looks like times are good. Shoot. We must have left some of them back in Florida. Left what? I packed a couple of boxes with socks and things. I could've sworn -- Jimmy, did you find that one box? Oh, no. It's okay, Mom. Don't worry, honey. We'll find it. I've never known a boy to get so upset about losing his socks. His glove was in there. His what? His glove was in there. Oh, quit moping and grab a box. Did you hear me? There are more important things in life than baseball. The sooner you figure that out, the better. This Lee Ivaco-cocus guy, I guarantee you, within two years, three years tops, he's gonna run that company right out of business. Ain't that right, young man? Eileen? Eileen! I guess she gone to lunch. Help you find something, son? Socks. Socks we have -- in contrast to common sense, which we seem to be running a little short on today. I'll be right down. Don't look at my dominoes. All right, sir, we got white socks with red stripes, black stripes, blue stripes. Over there you got all your solids in black, blue, brown, and gray. Just take your pick. That's a real nice pair right there. You visiting? We just moved here. Oh, well, then I'm Henry Sampson. Nice to meet you. Jimmy Morris. Welcome to Big Lake, Mr. Jimmy Morris. You know, son, I can probably tell you where it is a whole lot quicker than you can find it. Got any baseball stuff? Oh, baseball stuff. Don't get much call for baseball stuff around these parts. Now if it was football, that'd be a whole different story. You know something, though? I got a catalogue over here that just might help us out some. Let's take a look at that. Yeah, I think we might find something in here. You know, if you're interested in baseball, there's a story that people here in this town tell that you probably ought to hear. Thought you said nobody here cared about baseball. Oh, they care about this. It all started with a couple of nuns and a piece of ground not too far from here. - - Morning, Esther. - - Morning, Jimmy. Any more rattlesnakes on the playground? Yeah. Two this morning. I swear those things show up every time the oil business goes bad. - - They gonna bring the kids in? - - They're thinking about it. Don't these families have enough to worry about? Hmm. Coach. Counselor. Don't report that, Esther. I never do. "Sum" means that we're adding. We have at least two items. Don't make this hard, but what are we adding here -- protons and... Neutrons? Neutrons. Neutrons. So, David... These protons and these neutrons, they're inside of...what? The nucleus? Well, don't say it like a question, son. If you think you know it, just say it like you know it. The nucleus. That's right -- the nucleus. So, congratulations. Go home tonight and tell your parents that you figured out the mass number of an atom. Frank, ain't it a little late to be playing this song? - - It's 8:30. - Go sightseeing? If it's a nice day? -Yeah, let's do that. -Okay. And tomorrow night, I'll take you to a movie. Okay? Oh, I love you. I love you, Rags. We'll have a good day, yeah? You can bring Mr. Dennings, if you like. Mr. Dennings? Well, you know, it's okay. Well, thank you very much but why on earth would I wanna bring Burke on your birthday? Well, you like him. Yeah, I like him. Don't you like him? Hey, what's going on? What is this? -You're gonna marry him, aren't you? -Oh, my God. Are you kidding? -What? -Me marry Burke Dennings? Don't be silly. Of course not. Where did you ever get an idea like that? But you like him. Of course I like him. I like pizzas too, but I'm not gonna marry one. You don't like him like Daddy? Regan, I love your daddy. I'll always love your daddy, honey. Okay? Burke just comes around here a lot, because well, he's lonely. He don't got nothing to do. Well, I heard differently. Oh, you did? What did you hear, huh? -I don't know. I just thought. -Come on. What did you hear? Well, you didn't think so good. -How do you know? Ha, ha. -Ha-ha-ha. Because Burke and I are just friends. Okay? Really. Okay. You ready for sleep? -Good night. -Good night, honey. Lord, I was born a ramblin' man Lord, I was born a ramblin' man It's my mother, Tom. She's alone. I never should have left her. At least in New York, I'd be near her. I'd be close to her. I could see about a transfer, Damien. I need reassignment, Tom. I want out of this job. It's wrong, it's no good. You're the best we've got. Am I really? It's more than psychiatry, and you know that, Tom. Some of their problems come down to faith their vocation, the meaning of their lives, and I can't cut it anymore. I need out. I'm unfit. Think I've lost my faith, Tom. Hello? Yes, this is Mrs. MacNeil. Operator, you have got to be kidding! I have been on this line for 20 minutes! Jesus Christ. Can you believe this? He doesn't even call his daughter on her birthday. -Maybe the circuit is busy. -Oh, circuits, my ass! He doesn't give a shit. -Why don't you let me--? -No, I've got it, Sharon. It's all right. Yes. No, operator, don't tell me there's no answer. It's the Hotel Excelsior in Rome. Would you try it again, please, and let it ring? Hello? Yes. No, operator, I've given you the number four times. Do you take an illiteracy test to get that job, for Christ's sakes? Don't tell me to be calm, goddamn it! Yeah? You're kidding me. Okay. I thought I just went to bed. Yeah. Hey, what are we doing, scene 61 ? Okay. Oh, just remind Flo about that blue belt, huh? All right. Yeah, I'll see you. What are you doing here? My bed was shaking. I can't get to sleep. Oh, honey. Goddamn it. Jesus. There's nothing. Oh, Karl. Jesus Christ, Karl, don't do that. Very sorry, but you see, no rats. No rats. Thanks a lot. That's terrific. Oh, my God. Okay. Unroll your fist. Arm up. Very good. That wasn't so bad, was it? Remain perfectly still. Breathe normally. Tell me if you feel a vibration. Regan? You feel anything? Can you feel this? I don't feel anything. Put this in your mouth. Keep it there. This tells your temperature. When the red light goes on, that's your temperature. I don't want it. A disorder of the nerves. At least we think it is. We don't know yet exactly how it works. It's often seen in early adolescence. She shows all the symptoms. Hyperactivity. Her temper. Performance in math. Yeah. Why the math? What is that? It affects her concentration. Ah-ha. -Now, this is for Ritalin. -Okay. Ten milligrams a day. Is that a tranquilizer? It's a stimulant. A stimulant? My God, she's higher than a kite now. Her condition isn't quite what it seems. Nobody knows the cause of hyperkinetic behavior in a child. The Ritalin seems to work to relieve the condition. And as to how or why, we really don't know. But, uh, her symptoms could be overreaction to depression. That's out of my field. My daughter isn't depressed. Well, you mentioned her father and the separation. You think I should take her to a psychiatrist? No. I think we should wait and see what happens with the Ritalin. I think that's the answer. -Okay. -Let's wait two, three weeks. All right. And the lies she's been telling? That's part of it, huh? -Lies? -Like saying her bed's shaking. That stuff. Have you ever known your daughter to swear? -To use obscenities? -No, never. Hmm. Interesting. Similar- - Similar to things like her lying... -...it's uncharacteristic for her. -I don't understand. She doesn't swear. Well, she let loose quite a string while I was examining her, Mrs. MacNeil. I find that hard to believe. What did she say? Her vocabulary is rather extensive. Well, give me an example. Like what? Specifically, what did she say? Specifically, Mrs. MacNeil she advised me to keep my fingers away from her goddamn cunt. I can't believe it. -She-- -You don't think a psychiatrist...? No. I think the best explanation is always the simplest. -Well, we'll wait. We'll wait and see. -Yeah. So in the meantime try not to worry. How? The edema affected her brain, you understand? She don't let no doctor come near her. She was all the time screaming, talking to the radio. -You should've called me when it happened. -Listen. Regular hospital not gonna put up with that. We give her a shot and bring her here until the doctors fix up her leg, then we take her right out. Two or three months and she's out, good as new. -Miss? -Yes? We want to see Mrs. Karras. -Do you have an appointment? -Yes. -Are you a relative? -Yes, I am her brother. He is her son. Just a minute. You know, it's funny. If you wasn't a priest, you'd be famous psychiatrist on Park Avenue. Your mother, she'd be living in a penthouse instead of there. You go in, Dimmy. I'll wait for you outside. You'll find Mrs. Karras in the last bed on the left-hand side. No, no. No, no. Go get someone else. Don't bother the father. Go to your bed. Go to your bed. No, no. No, no. The father will be back to see you. It's all right. Mama. It's Dimmy, Mama. Dimmy. Why you did this to me, Dimmy? Why? Come on, I'm gonna take you out of here, Mama. I'm gonna take you home. I'll get you out of here tonight, Mama. Mama, everything's gonna be all right. Mama, I'm gonna take you home. Mama, I'm gonna take you home. -Couldn't you have put her someplace else? -Like what? Private hospital? Who got the money for that, Dimmy? You? There seems to be an alien pubic hair in my drink. -I beg your pardon? -Never seen it before in my life. Have you? We're pretty comfortable up there compared to the Gemini and Mercury programs. They were tight for space. You see, we got about 210 cubic feet, so we can move around. If you ever go up there again, will you take me along? Ha-ha-ha. What for? First missionary on Mars. Tell me, was it public relations you did for the Gestapo or community relations? -I'm Swiss. -Yes, of course. And you never went bowling with Goebbels, either, I suppose, eh? Nazi bastard. Over behind the church. You know where I mean? -It's a red brick wing. -Saint Mike's. What goes on there? Who's the priest I keep seeing there? He's there all the time. He has black hair. He's very intense looking. Who's that? -Damien Karras. -Karras? That's his office, back of Saint Mike's. He's our- - Our psychiatric counselor. He had a pretty rough knock last night, poor guy. His mother passed away. She was living by herself and I guess she was dead a couple of days before they found her. Cunting Hun. Bloody, damned, butchering Nazi pig. Stop it! I'll kill you! What's the matter with you? What's for dessert? You sleeping? You get some sleep. Okay. Very good. All right. Listen, Burke, your car's at the curb. Louie's waiting. It's nice and warm. Yes, honey. What? Fuck it. -I've never seen him acting up. -Really. Blind is what he was. Down on Thoity-Thoid and Thoid -Hi, Chris. This is a great party. -Yeah, don't stop. Keep going. I don't need any encouragement. My idea of heaven is a solid white nightclub with me as a headliner for all eternity, and they love me. Down on the east side Of Thoity-Thoid and Thoid That's my home sweet home Some people think It's the home of black eyes Just because-- Hey, I think we've got a guest. You're gonna die up there. Regan? Oh, my God, honey. Honey, what's the matter? -Sorry, she's sick. -It's okay. She didn't know what she was saying. Come upstairs. Come on. What made you say that, Regan? Do you know, sweetheart? Mother? What's wrong with me? It's just like the doctor said. It's nerves, and that's all. Okay? You just take your pills and you'll be fine. Really. Okay? Is it coming out, Willi? -Yes, I think so. -Good. Mother! Mother! Mother! Mother! Mother! Mother! -Oh, my God! -Make it stop! - I'm gonna fold. - Big flop. Another five for the pair. There's the ten with two and three of clubs. And a six. Pair of threes still best. - I'll talk to you about it tomorrow. - Yeah! Yeah. Hey, if you get a chance, can you take a look at it for me? Where'd you get the money for the Chivas Regal... -...the poor box? -Ha. That's an insult. I got a vow of poverty. Where'd you get it, then? I stole it. I believe you. College presidents shouldn't drink. Tends to set a bad example. I figure I saved him from a big temptation. Oh, Christ! I should have been there. I wasn't there. Should have been. There was nothing you could do. Lie down. Give me the butt. Come on. -Now you think you can sleep? -Yeah. -Are you gonna steal my shoes now? -No. I tell fortunes by reading the creases. Now, shut up and go to sleep. Good night. Stealing is a sin. I don't want it! -Regan, honey, it's to help you. -I don't want it! -Hold still, honey. -I don't want it! You fucking bastard! Remember also, O Lord, thy servant, Mary Karras who has gone before us with the sign of faith and sleeps the sleep of peace. Lord, I am not worthy to receive you. But only say the word and I shall be healed. May the body of Christ bring me to everlasting life. Well, it's a symptom of a type of disturbance in the chemical-electrical activity of the brain. In your daughter's case, the temporal lobe, up here in the lateral part of the brain. -Mm-hm. -It's rare...but it does cause bizarre hallucinations and usually just before a convulsion. A convulsion? The shaking of the bed. That's doubtless due to muscular spasms. Oh, no, no, that was no spasm. Look, I got on the bed. The whole bed was thumping and rising off the floor and shaking, the whole thing, with me on it. Mrs. MacNeil, the problem with your daughter is not her bed. It's her brain. So, um, ahem. What causes this? Lesion. Lesion in the temporal lobe. It's a kind of seizure disorder. Look, Doc, I really don't understand how her whole personality could change. -In the temporal lobe, it's very common. -It is? It, uh, can last for days, even weeks. It isn't rare to find destructive even criminal behavior. Hey, do me a favor, will you? Tell me something good. Don't be alarmed. If it's a lesion, in a way, she's fortunate. All we have to do is remove the scar. -Let's move her. - Regan, can you sit up, scoot over? A little more. Good. Regan, I'm just gonna move you down on the table, okay? Let me do this. It's okay. See? There we go. It's just for a short time. You're doing fine. Very sticky. Good. Now, Regan, you're gonna feel something a little bit cold and wet. Okay. Now you're gonna feel a little stick here. Don't move. Good. Okay. You're gonna feel some pressure here. Now, don't move. Hook up. There's nothing there. No vascular displacement at all. Do you want me to run another series? I don't think so. I'd like you to see her again. Excuse me, doctor. Chris MacNeil is on the phone. She says it's urgent. -You got some time? -Of course. -Dr. Klein? -Yes, I'm Dr. Klein. -This is Dr. Taney. -How do you do? Things have gotten worse since I phoned. Come upstairs. -Is she having spasms again? -They've gotten violent. -Did you give her the medication? -Yes. -What was that? -Thorazine. Before that, it was Ritalin. Chris, doctors. -This is Dr. Taney. - Mother, please! What is it? -Please, make it stop! It's burning! It's burning! Do something, doctor. Please, help her. Please, Mother, make it stop! He's trying to kill me! Mother! Mother! All right, Regan, let's see what the trouble-- Regan! Keep away! The sow is mine! Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me! Stay away from me! Stay away! Hold her steady. Hold her tight! Don't let them! She's heavily sedated. She'll probably sleep through tomorrow. What was going on in there? How could she fly off the bed like that? Pathological states can induce abnormal strength accelerated motor performance. For example say a 90-pound woman sees her child pinned under the wheel of a truck runs out and lifts the wheels a half a foot up off the ground. You've heard the story. Same thing here. Same principle, I mean. So, what's wrong with her? We still think that the temporal lobe-- Oh, what are you talking about, for Christ's sakes? Did you see her or not? She's acting like she's fucking out of her mind! Psychotic, like a split personality, or.... Oh, Jesus, I'm sorry. There haven't been more than 100 authentic cases of so-called "split personality," Mrs. MacNeil. Now, I know the temptation is to leap to psychiatry but any reasonable psychiatrist would exhaust the somatic possibilities first. So, what's next? A pneumoencephalogram, I would think, to pin down that lesion. It will involve another spinal. Oh, Christ! Well, what we missed in the EEG and the arteriograms could conceivably turn up there. At least it would eliminate certain other possibilities. Dr. Taney says the x-rays are negative. In other words, normal. You keep any drugs in your house? No, of course not. Nothing like that. Are you sure? Well, of course, I'm sure. I'd tell you. Christ, I don't even smoke grass. Are you planning to be home soon? I mean, uh, to L.A., I mean. Um.... No, I, uh-- I'm building a new house. My old one has been sold. I don't know. I was gonna take.... I was gonna take Regan to Europe for a while after she finished school. Why do you ask? I think it's time we started looking for a psychiatrist. Hello? Sharon? Shit. God. Sharon! What do you mean, leaving Regan by herself? Her window's wide open. The room is freezing. -Didn't he tell you? -Who? -Burke is-- -What's Burke got to do with it? Nobody was here. When I went to get the Thorazine... -... I had him stay with her, and.... -Oh. -I should have known better. Sorry. -I guess you should have. How were the tests? We have to start looking for a shrink. Hi, Chuck. Come on in. I suppose you heard. Heard what? You haven't heard. Burke's dead. He must have been drunk. He fell from the top of the steps right outside. By the time he hit M Street, he broke his neck. Oh, God. No! Yeah, I know. Sharon-- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. When I touch your forehead, open your eyes. Are you comfortable, Regan? Yes. How old are you? Twelve. Is there someone inside you? Sometimes. Who is it? I don't know. Is it Captain Howdy? I don't know. If I ask him to tell me, will you let him answer? No. Why not? I'm afraid. If he talks to me, I think he'll leave you. Do you want him to leave you? Yes. I'm speaking to the person inside of Regan now. If you are there, you, too, are hypnotized and must answer all my questions. Come forward and answer me now. Are you the person inside of Regan? Who are you? -Help me! - Let go! Father Karras? Have we met? No, we haven't met, but they said I could tell. That you look like a boxer. William F. Kinderman. Homicide. What's this all about? It's true. You do look like a boxer. Like John Garfield in Body and Soul. Exactly. John Garfield. People tell you that, Father? Do people tell you you look like Paul Newman? Always. Well, you know this director who was doing the film here Burke Dennings? I've seen him. You've seen him. You're also familiar how last week he died? Only what I read in the papers. Father, what do you know on the subject of witchcraft? From the witching end, not the hunting. I once did a paper on it. Really? From the psychiatric end. I know. I read it. All of this desecration in the church do you think this has anything to do with witchcraft? Maybe. Some rituals used in the black mass, maybe. And now Dennings. You read how he died? In a fall. Let me tell you how. And please, Father confidential. Burke Dennings, good Father was found at the bottom of those steps leading to M Street with his head turned completely around facing backwards. Didn't happen in the fall? It's possible. -Possible, however-- -Unlikely. Exactly. So on the one hand, we've got a witchcraft kind of murder and on the other hand, a black mass-type desecration in the church. You think the killer and the desecrator are the same? Maybe somebody crazy somebody with a spite against the Church. Some unconscious rebellion. A sick priest, is that it? Look, Father, this is hard for you. Please, I understand but for priests on the campus here, you're the psychiatrist. You'd know who was sick at the time, who wasn't. I mean, this kind of sickness, you'd know that. I don't know anyone who fits that description. Ah. Doctor's ethics. If you knew, you wouldn't tell, huh? No, I probably wouldn't. Not to bother you with trivia, but a psychiatrist in sunny California, no less was put in jail for not telling the police what he knew about a patient. -Is that a threat? -No, I mention it only in passing. Incidentally, I mention it only in passing I could always tell the judge it was a matter of confession. Hey, Father, wait a minute. -Do you like movies? -Very much. Well, I get passes to the best shows in town. Mrs. K, though, you know, she gets tired, never likes to go. -That's too bad. -Yeah, I hate to go alone. I love to talk film discuss, to critique. You want to see a film with me? I got passes to the Crest. It's Othello. -Who's in it? -Who's in it? Debbie Reynolds, Desdemona, and Othello, Groucho Marx. You happy? -I've seen it. -Ah. One last time. You can think of some priest who fits the bill? -Come on. -No, answer the question, Father Paranoia. All right. All right. -You know who I think really did it? -Who? The Dominicans. Go pick on them. I could have you deported, you know that? I lied. You look like Sal Mineo. It looks like a type of disorder that's, uh, rarely ever seen anymore except in primitive cultures. We call it, uh, somnambular-form possession. Quite frankly, we really don't know much about it at all except that it starts with a conflict or a guilt and it leads to the patient's delusions that his body has been invaded by some alien intelligence. Um.... A spirit, if you will. Look, I'm telling you again, and you'd better believe me I am not going to lock her up in some goddamn asylum. -Well, it's out of-- -And I don't care what you call it. I'm not putting her away. Well, I'm sorry. You're sorry? Jesus Christ! Eighty-eight doctors, and all you can tell me with all your bullshit is.... Of course, there is one outside chance for a cure. But, um, I think of it as a shock treatment. As I said, it's a very outside chance-- Would you just name it, for God's sakes? What is it? -Do you have any religious beliefs? - No. What about your daughter? No. Why? Have you ever heard of exorcism? Well, it's a stylized ritual in which the, uh, rabbi or the priest try to drive out the so-called invading spirit. It's been pretty much discarded these days except by the Catholics, who keep it in the closet as a sort of embarrassment. But it, uh, has worked, in fact although not for the reasons they think, of course. It's purely force of suggestion. The, uh- - The victim's belief in possession is what helped cause it so in that same way the belief in the power of exorcism can make it disappear. You're telling me that I should take my daughter to a witch doctor. Is that it? Karl? Did you put this in Regan's bedroom? She's going to be well? Karl, if you put this in Regan's bedroom, I want you to tell me. Now, did you? No, not me. I didn't. This was under Regan's pillow. Did you put it there? Of course, I didn't. I didn't put it. Excuse me, madam. -What? -A man to see you. - What man? Might your daughter remember, perhaps if Mr. Dennings was in her room that night? -Why do you ask? -Mm. Might she remember? No, she was heavily sedated. It's serious? Yes, I'm afraid it is. -May I ask...? -We still don't know. Watch out for drafts. A draft in the fall when the house is hot is a magic carpet for bacteria. Excuse me, madam. Anything else? No, Karl, we're fine. Thank you. It's all right, Karl. Why are you asking all this? It's strange. The deceased comes to visit, stays only 20 minutes and leaves all alone a very sick girl. And speaking plainly, Mrs. MacNeil it isn't likely he would fall from a window. Besides, a fall wouldn't do to his neck what we found. Except maybe one chance in a thousand. No. My hunch.... My opinion... point one. point two plus the various other things we mentioned would make it very probable probable, not certain that the deceased was killed and then pushed from your daughter's window. But nobody was in the room except your daughter, so how can this be? It could be one way. If someone came calling between the time Miss Spencer left and the time you returned. Judas Priest, just a second. -The servants? They have visitors? -Not at all. You were expecting a package that day, some delivery? Not that I know of. Groceries, cleaning, uh, a package? I really wouldn't know. See, Karl takes care of all that. I see. Would you like to ask him? No, never mind, it's.... It's very remote. No, never mind. Yeah. Would you like some more coffee? Please. That's cute. Your daughter, she's the artist? -Thank you. -You're welcome. Incidentally, um you might ask your daughter if she remembers seeing Mr. Dennings in her room that night. Look, he wouldn't have any reason in the world to go up to her room. Oh, I know, I realize but if certain British doctors never asked, "What is this fungus?" we wouldn't today have penicillin. Correct? Well, when she's better, I'll ask her. -Yeah, couldn't hurt. -Okay. Uh, in the meantime.... That's okay. -I really hate to ask you this, but-- -What? For my daughter, could you please give an autograph? Of course. Uh, where's a pencil? Right here. Here. Oh. She'd love it. And what's her name? I lied. It's for me. Kinderman. -Okay. You know that film you made, um, Angel? -Oh, yeah. -I saw that six times. -Really? -It was beautiful. Ha, ha. Thank you. You're a very nice lady. -Thank you. -You're a nice man. Uh, I'll come back when she's feeling better. -Bye. -Bye. Please, no! - Do it! - Please, don't! You bitch! Do it! Do it! Please, no! Yes! Let Jesus fuck you! Let Jesus fuck you! Let him fuck you! Aah! Give it! Give it to me! Aah! -Ugh! -Lick me! Lick me! Chris! Mrs. MacNeil, open the door! Open the door! Do you know what she did...your cunting daughter? Chris MacNeil? Please, go away. I'm Father Karras. I'm very sorry. Hello. I should have told you I wouldn't be in uniform. Yeah, that would have helped. -Have you got a cigarette, Father? -Sure. Thanks. Cold. Yeah. Uh-- How did a shrink ever get to be a priest? It's the other way around. The Society sent me through medical school. Oh. Where? Harvard, Bellevue, Johns Hopkins. -Places like that. -I see. -You're a friend of Father Dyer's, right? -Yes, I am. -Pretty close? -Pretty close. Did he talk to you about my party? He sure did. About my daughter? No, I didn't know you had one. -He didn't mention her? -No. Oh. Didn't tell you what she did? He didn't mention her. Priests are pretty tight-mouthed, then, huh? That depends. -On what? -The priest. Sure. I mean, what if a person, uh, came to you you know, that was a murderer or criminal of some kind and they wanted some kind of help? I mean, would you have to turn him in? Well, if he came to me for spiritual advice, I'd say no. -You wouldn't? -No, I wouldn't. But I would try to convince him to turn himself in. Mm-hm. And, uh, how do you go about getting an exorcism? I beg your pardon? If, um- - If a person's, you know, possessed by a demon, or something how do they get an exorcism? I'd have to get them into a time machine and get them back to the 16th century. I didn't get you. It just doesn't happen anymore, Mrs. MacNeil. Oh, yeah? Since when? Well, since we learned about mental illness, paranoia, schizophrenia. All those things they taught me at Harvard. Mrs. MacNeil, since the day I joined the Jesuits I've never met one priest who has performed an exorcism. Not one. Yeah, well it just so happens that somebody very close to me is probably possessed. And needs an exorcist. Father Karras, it's my little girl. Then that's all the more reason to forget about exorcism. Why? I don't understand. -To begin with, it could make things worse. -Oh, how? Secondly, the Church, before it approves an exorcism conducts an investigation to see if it's warranted. That takes time. -Yeah, but-- -Meanwhile, your daughter-- -You could do it yourself. -No. I'd need Church approval... -...and that's rarely given. -But-- Uh.... -Could you see her? -Yes, I could. I could see her as a psychiatrist, but I-- Oh, not a psychiatrist. She needs a priest. She's seen every fucking psychiatrist in the world, and they sent me to you. Now are you gonna send me back to them? -Jesus Christ, won't somebody help me? -You don't understand-- Oh, God, can't you help her? Just help her! It wants no straps. Hello, Regan. I'm a friend of your mother's. I'd like to help you. You might loosen these straps, then. I'm afraid you might hurt yourself, Regan. I'm not Regan. I see. Well, then, let's introduce ourselves. I'm Damien Karras. And I'm the devil. Now, kindly undo these straps. If you're the devil, why not make the straps disappear? That's much too vulgar a display of power, Karras. Where's Regan? In here, with us. Show me Regan and I'll loosen one of the straps. Could you help an old altar boy, Father? Your mother's in here with us, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it. If that's true then you must know my mother's maiden name. What is it? What is it? Thank you. Look, I'm only against the possibility of doing your daughter more harm than good. Nothing you could do could make it any worse. I can't do it. I need evidence that the Church would accept... -...as signs of possession. -Like what? Speaking in a language she's never known or studied. What else? I don't know. I'd have to look it up. I thought you were supposed to be an expert. There are no experts. You probably know as much about possession as most priests. Look, your daughter doesn't say she's a demon. She says she's the devil himself. If you've seen as many psychotics as I have you'd realize that's the same thing as saying you're Napoleon Bonaparte. You asked me what I think is best for your daughter. Six months under observation in the best hospital you can find. You show me Regan's double same face, same voice, everything and I'd know it wasn't Regan. I'd know in my gut. I'm telling you that that thing upstairs isn't my daughter. I want you to tell me that you know for a fact that there's nothing wrong with my daughter except in her mind. Tell me you know for a fact that an exorcism wouldn't do any good. You tell me that! Did Regan know a priest was coming over? -No. -Did you know my mother died recently? -Yes, I did. I'm very sorry. -No. Is Regan aware of it? Not at all. Why do you ask? It's not important. Good night. Hello? - Here, take it and just don't.... - Okay. Um. Hello, Daddy? This is me. -What should I say? I don't know. - Just talk to your daddy. -Anything you want. - All right, um.... Tell him what you've been doing and how you're feeling and like that. Uh.... Well, you see, um-- I mean, I hope you can hear me. Can you hear me okay? -Well, uh, let me see. - He's not gonna answer you. Uh, ha-ha-ha. - Go on. Talk to your daddy, honey. - Um.... I don't know what to say, though. Um-- Well, let's see. First we- - No. -Wait. I don't know. - Come on, Regan. -Tell him about Washington. - Okay. See, we're in Washington now, Daddy, and.... He broke the bread, gave it to his disciples and said: "Take this, all of you, and eat it for this is my body." When the supper was ended, he took the cup. Again he gave you thanks and praise. He gave the cup to his disciples and said, "Take this all of you, and drink from it. This is the cup of my blood. The blood of the new and everlasting covenant, the mystery of faith." What an excellent day for an exorcism. You'd like that? Intensely. But wouldn't that drive you out of Regan? It would bring us together. You and Regan? You and us. -Did you do that? -Uh-huh. -Do it again. -In time. No, now. In time. Mirabile dictu, don't you agree? You speak Latin? How long are you planning to stay in Regan? Until she rots and lies stinking in the earth. What's that? Holy water. You keep it away. It burns! Oh, it burns! Who are you? You know, I'm, like, in seclusion. No, I'm just exhausted from work. Um.... She's- - She's all right. She's just a little.... I don't want to talk about it, okay? Um-- Okay, I'll talk to you. I'll call you as soon as it's over, all right? No, I just- - I'm really- - I'm going through something and I just have to, uh.... No, no. No, no. There's nothing. Hey, thanks a lot. Bye, now. -Want a drink? -Please. What do you drink? Uh, Scotch. -Ice, water. -Okay. No ice. I'll get some from the kitchen. -No, I'll take it straight. -It's fine. No, please, sit. -Really? You sure? -Yeah, sit. Where's her father? In Europe. -Have you told him what's happening? -No. Well, I think you should. I told Regan that was holy water. I sprinkled it on her and she reacted very violently. It's tap water. What's the difference? Holy water's blessed. And that doesn't help support a case for possession. She killed Burke Dennings. What? She killed Burke Dennings. She pushed him out her window. Who are you? It's a language, all right. It's English. What do you mean? It's English in reverse. Listen. Give us time. Let her die. I am no one. I am no one. Fear the priest. Fear the priest. Merrin! I am no one. Merrin! Fear the priest. Merrin! Merrin! Yeah? Yeah? I'll be right there. I don't want Chris to see this. -Well, what's wrong? What is it? -Shh. You're convinced that it's genuine? I don't know. No, not really, I suppose. But I have made a prudent judgment that it meets the conditions set down in The Ritual. You would want to do the exorcism yourself? Yes. Might be best to have a man with experience. Maybe someone who's spent time in foreign missions. I understand, Your Excellency. Let's see who's around. In the meantime, I'll call you as soon as I know. Thank you, Your Excellency. Well, he does know the background. I doubt there's any danger in just having him assist. There should be a psychiatrist present, anyway. What about the exorcist? Have you any ideas? How about Lankester Merrin? Merrin? I had a notion he was in Iraq. I read he was working on a dig near Nineveh. You're right, but he's finished. He came back three or four months ago. He's at Woodstock now. What's he doing there, teaching? He's working on another book. Don't you think he's too old, Tom? How's his health? He must be all right. He's still running around digging up tombs. Mm. -Besides, he's had experience. -I didn't know that. Ten, 12 years ago, I think, in Africa. The exorcism supposedly lasted months. I heard it damn near killed him. Father? -You're Mrs. MacNeil? -Yes. I'm Father Merrin. -Come in. -Thank you. -Is Father Karras here? -Yes. -He's here already. -Father? -Father Karras. -It's an honor to meet you, Father. -Are you very tired? -No. I'd like you to go quickly across to the Residence, Damien and gather up a cassock for myself two surplices, a purple stole, and some holy water and, um your copy of The Roman Ritual. The large one. I believe we should begin. Do you want to hear the background of the case first? Why? This is yours to do with as you please. You can choose to escape, if you want, but you may never be able to return. Don't let anyone decide for you. Hail Mary, full of grace.... -Excuse me. -Thank you. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Would you like some brandy in that, Father? Well, the doctors say I shouldn't. But thank God my will is weak. Especially important is the warning to avoid conversations with the demon. We may ask what is relevant, but anything beyond that is dangerous. He's a liar. The demon is a liar. He will lie to confuse us. But he will also mix lies with the truth to attack us. The attack is psychological, Damien. And powerful. So don't listen. Remember that. Do not listen. It might be helpful if I gave you some background on the different personalities Regan has manifested. So far, I'd say there seem to be three. -She's convinced that she's-- -There is only one. What is your daughter's middle name, Mrs. MacNeil? Teresa. What a lovely name. Stick your cock up her ass you motherfucking worthless cocksucker. -Be silent! -Aah! Our Father, who art in heaven hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation. But deliver us from the evil one. Save me, O God, by thy name. By thy might, defend my cause. Proud men have risen up against me, and men of violence seek my life but God is my helper and the Lord sustains my life. In every need, he has delivered me. Glory be to the Father, to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now and shall be, world without end. -Save your servant. -Who places her trust in thee, my God. -Be unto her, O Lord, a fortified tower. -In the face of the enemy.... -Let the enemy have no power over her. -Son of Iniquity be powerless to harm her. Your mother sucks cocks in hell, Karras. You faithless slime. The Lord be with you. -And also with you. -Let us pray. Holy Lord, almighty Father...everlasting God and Father of our Lord, Jesus Christ who, once and for all, consigned that fallen tyrant to the flames of hell who sent your only begotten son into the world to crush that roaring lion hasten to our call for help and snatch from ruination and from the clutches of the noonday devil this human being, made in your image and likeness. Strike terror, Lord, into the beast now laying waste to your vineyard. Let your mighty hand cast him out of your servant, Regan Teresa MacNeil so he may no longer hold captive this person whom it pleased you to make in your image... Aah! ...and to redeem through your son, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, forever and ever. -Amen. -O Lord, hear my prayer. Father Karras. Father Karras. Damien. The response, please, Damien! And let my cry come unto thee. Almighty Lord, word of God the Father, Jesus Christ God and Lord of all creation who gave to your holy apostles the power to tramp underfoot serpents and scorpions. Grant me your unworthy servant... -...pardon for all my sins... -Bastards! ...and the power to confront this cruel demon. See the cross of the Lord. Be gone, you hostile power. -O Lord, hear my prayer. -And let my cry come unto thee. -The Lord be with you. -And also with you. Father. I cast you out, unclean spirit! -Shove it up your ass, you faggot! -In the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ! It is he who commands you! He who flung you straight from heaven to the depths of hell! -Fuck him! -Be gone... Fuck him, Karras! -...from this creature of God. Be gone! In the name of the Father, and of the Son and the Holy Spirit. By this sign of the Holy Cross, of our Lord Jesus Christ who lives and reigns with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Damien! Amen. God, defender of the human race look down in pity.... You killed your mother! You left her alone to die! -Shut up! -She'll never forgive you! - Shut up! - Bastard! I command you by the judge of the living and the dead to depart from this servant of God. It's the power- - Holy water. It's the power of Christ that compels you. -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you! -The power of Christ compels you. -The power of Christ compels you. He brought you low by his blood-stained cross! Do not despise my command, because you know me to be a sinner. It is God himself who commands you. The majestic Christ who commands you. God, the Father, commands you. God, the Son, commands you. God, the Holy Spirit, commands you. The mystery of the cross commands you. The blood of the martyrs commands you. Give way to Christ, you prince of murderers. You're guilty before almighty God. Guilty before his son. Guilty before the whole human race. It is the Lord who expels you he who is coming to judge both the living and the dead and the world, by fire. Are you tired? Let's rest before we start again. Why this girl? It doesn't make sense. I think the point is to make us despair. To see ourselves as animal and ugly. To reject the possibility that God could love us. Will you excuse me, Damien? Why? Why? No. No. Dimmy, why you do this to me? Please, Dimmy. I'm afraid. You're not my mother. Dimmy, please! What is it? Her heart. Can you give her something? She'll go into a coma. You're not my mother! Don't listen. Why, Dimmy? Damien. -Dimmy, please. - Damien. Get out. Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.... Is it over? Mm-mm. Is she gonna die? No. You son of a bitch! Take me. Come into me. Goddamn you, take me! Take me! No! Mother. Mother. Mother. Did somebody fall? - The steps! - Help! Mother! Mother! Rags? Do you want to make your confession? Are you sorry for--? Are you sorry for having offended God and for all the sins of your past life? -Where do you want this? -What? Phonograph. Storage. That's everything. I'm gonna miss you. Same here. Sure you won't change your mind? I found this in her room. You better hurry. Come on, honey, we have to get going. She doesn't remember any of it. That's good. -All done. -Okay. Honey, this is Father Dyer. -Hi, Father. -Hello. Ready, missus. -Goodbye, Father. -Goodbye. I'll call you. Bye. -Bye, Father. -I hope I see you again. I hope so too. Father Dyer? I thought you'd like to keep this. Why don't you keep it? Lieutenant. You just missed them. How's the girl? She seemed fine. That's important. That's important. Well, well back to business, back to work. -Goodbye, Father. -Goodbye. Father Dyer do you go to films? Sure. Well, I got passes. In fact, I got a pass to the Crest tomorrow night. Would you like to go? -What's playing? -Wuthering Heights. Who's in it? Heathcliff, Jackie Gleason, and in the role of Catherine Earnshaw, Lucille Ball. I've seen it. Another one. -Had your lunch? -No. [Chanting in arabic] [Tick tick tick] [Tick tick ti--] [Hoofbeats] [Pebbles falling] [Growling] [Dogs growling] [Dogs barking] [Crash] [Rattle rattle] [Crash] [Rattle rattle] [Cars honking] [Crash] Sure do love you. Morning. Good morning, Mrs. MacNeil. How are you today? Fine. Thank you. That's good. It's ok. I've got it. Thanks. Good morning, madam. Good morning, Karl. Oh, Karl, we've got rats in the attic. You better get some traps. Rats? Hh-hmm. I'm afraid so. But the attic is clean. All right, then we've got clean rats. No. No rats. I just heard them, Karl. Maybe plumbing. Yeah, or maybe rats. Now will you just get the traps? Yes, I go now. Don't go now, Karl. The stores aren't open yet. I will see. They're closed. Man over bullhorn: In the group over here, I need a priest, a nun, and two students. That's exactly what we want. ...and the camera goes around here. Burke? Oh, Burke. Is the scene really essential, Burke? Would you do without it? This damn thing doesn't make sense. It's perfectly plain. You're a teacher. You don't want the building torn down. Come on, I can read. Well, what's wrong? Well, why are they tearing the building down? Shall we summon the writer? He's in Paris, I believe. Hiding? Fucking! Scene 39, hotel. Take 4. All right, hustle, background, and action! [Roar of protesters] Girl: We're not backing down! Director: And action, Chris! [Feedback] Wait a minute! Wait. Hold it. Hey, come on. We're all concerned with human rights, for God's sakes. But the kids who want to get education have a right, too! Yeah! Yeah! Don't you understand? It's against your own principle, for God's sake! Yeah! Yeah! You can't accomplish anything by shutting kids out of their school. Yeah! Yeah! Hold it! Hold it! If you want to effect any change, you have to do it within the system. Director: Ok, cut. That's a wrap. I think I'll walk home tonight, Mike. Take that and drop it by my house. Good night, tom. Good night. There's not a day in my life that I don't feel like a fraud. Priests, doctors, lawyers-- I've talked to them all. I don't know anyone who hasn't felt that. [Airplane flies over] Hello? In here. Hi. How did your day go? Not too bad. It was like the Walt Disney version of the ho chi minh story, but other than that, it was terrific. What have we got? Anything exciting here? Also, you got an invitation. What's this? Dinner at the white house. You're kidding me. Is it a big party or something? Just 5 or 6 people. Thursday, huh? Far out. Girl: Hi, mom. What did you do today? Stuff. What's that mean, "stuff"? Well, me and Sharon played a game in the backyard, and we had a picnic down by the river. That sounds fun. You should have seen this man came along on this beautiful gray horse. Really what kind? Was it a mare, a gelding, what? I think it was a gelding. It was gray. It was so beautiful. The guy let me ride it all around. Oh, that's nice. It was so nice. Oh, I loved it. Mom, can't we get a horse? Not while we're in Washington. We'll see when we get home, ok? When can I have one? We'll see, Regan. We'll see. On the party invitations, I want-- Regan, don't. Regan, come back here. You're in--come here. Ha ha ha! All right, give it up. No! Oh! You'll be sorry. No! Father... Would you help an old altar boy? I'm a catholic. All right. Come on, man. Alfonso! Hey, man! [People speaking Greek on radio] Mama? Mama. Mama. Dimmie. Dimmie. [Speaking Greek] [Speaking Greek] How are you, mama? I'm so glad to see you. You look good. I'm all right. How's your leg? How about you? Fine, mama. I'm fine. [Speaking Greek] Your Uncle John passed by to visit me. Oh, really? When? Last month. Too tight? No. Mama, you have to stay off it. You can't go up and down the stairs. You have to give it a rest. Ok. Mama, I could take you somewhere where you would be safe and wouldn't be alone. There would be people around. You wouldn't be sitting here listening to a radio. [Speaking Greek] You understand me? This is my house, and I'm not going no place. Dimmie, you worry for something. No, mama. You are not happy. Tell me, what is the matter? Mama, I'm all right. I'm fine, really I am. [Tunes radio to Greek music] Here it comes. There. Look at that. You like it? Oh, isn't that funny? I better put him over here to dry, though. He's still wet. There. He can dry there. Hey, where did this come from? I found it. Where? The closet. Huh. Have you been playing with it? Yep. You know how? I'll show you. Wait a minute. You need 2. No, you don't. I do it all the time. Oh, yeah? Well, let's both play. You really don't want me to play, huh? No, I do. Captain howdy said no. Captain who? Captain howdy. Who's captain howdy? I make the questions, and he does the answers. Oh... Captain howdy, ah, I see. He's nice. Oh, I'll bet he is. Here, I'll show you. Captain howdy, do you think my mom's pretty? Captain howdy? Captain howdy, that isn't very nice. Well, maybe he's sleeping. You think? What--Regan... Why are you reading that stuff? Because I like it. It's not even a good picture of you. You look so mature. I wouldn't talk. You wouldn't talk? Well, I didn't have my makeup man there. Let me take an eyelash off your face. No, I didn't get it. What are we going to do on your birthday? Isn't it nice it's on Sunday this year? What can we do? I don't know. What would you like to do? Got any ideas? Mm-mmm. No? Let me think. Let me think. What can we do? We never finished seeing all the sights in Washington. We didn't get to the Lee mansion, lots of stuff. Shall we go sightseeing... If it's a nice day? Yeah, let's do that. And tomorrow night, I'll take you to a movie, ok? Oh, I love you. I love you, rags. We'll have a good day, huh? You can bring Mr. Dennings if you like. Mr. Dennings? Well, you know, it's ok. Well, thank you very much, but why on earth would I want to bring Burke on your birthday? You like him. Yeah, I like him. Don't you like him? Hey, what's going on? What is this, huh? You're going to marry him, aren't you? Oh, God, are you kidding? Me marry Burke Dennings? Don't be silly. Of course not. Where did you get that idea? But you like him. Of course. I like pizzas, too, but I'm not going to marry one. You don't like him like daddy? Regan, I love your daddy. I'll always love your daddy, honey. Burke just comes around here a lot because... Well, he's lonely. Don't got nothin' to do. Well, I heard... Differently. Oh, you did? What did you hear? I don't know. I just thought. Well, you didn't think so good. How do you know? Because Burke and I are just friends. Ok? Really. Ok. You ready for sleep? Good night. Good night, honey. Jukebox: ¶ lord, I was born a ramblin' man ¶ ¶ lord, I was born a ramblin' man ¶ it's my mother, tom. She's alone. I never should have left her. At least in New York, I'd be near. I'd be close to her. I could see about a transfer, Damien. I need reassignment, tom. I want out of this job. It's wrong. It's no good. You're the best we've got. Am I really? It's more than psychiatry, and you know that, tom. Some of their problems come down to faith-- their vocation, the meaning of their lives, and I can't cut it anymore. I need out. I'm unfit. I think I've lost my faith, tom. Hello? Yes, this is Mrs. MacNeil. Operator, you have got to be kidding! I have been on this line for 20 minutes! Jesus Christ. Can you believe this? He doesn't even call his daughter on her birthday for Christ's sake. Maybe the circuit is busy. Oh, circuits, my ass! He doesn't give a shit! Why don't you let me-- no, I've got it, Sharon. It's all right. Operator, don't tell me there's no answer. It's the hotel excelsior in Rome. Would you try it again, please, and let it ring? Hello? Yes. No, operator, I've given you the number 4 times. What do you do, take an illiteracy test to get that job? Don't tell me to be calm, God damn it! [Ring] [Ring] Yeah? You're kidding me. Ok. I thought I just went to bed. Yeah. Hey, what are we doing, scene 61? Ok. Oh, just remind flo about that blue belt. Yeah, I'll see you. What are you doing here? My bed was shaking. I can't get to sleep. Honey. [Crash] [Rattle rattle] [Crash] [Crash] [Clack] God damn it! Jesus! [Crash] Aah! Oh, Karl. Jesus Christ, Karl, don't do that. Very sorry, but you see... No rats. No rats. Thanks a lot. That's terrific. [Church bell ringing] Oh, my God. Ok. Open your fist. Arm up. Very good. That wasn't so bad, was it? Lay perfectly still, breathe normally. Tell me if you feel a vibration. Regan? Do you feel anything? Can you feel this? I don't feel anything. Put this in your mouth. Keep it there. This tells your temperature. When the red light goes on, that's your temperature. I'll run it! [Regan humming] A disorder of the nerves. At least we think it is. We don't know yet exactly how it works. It's often seen in early adolescence. She shows all the symptoms-- hyperactivity, quick temper, performance in math. Yeah, why the math? What is that? It affects her concentration. Uh-huh. Now this is for ritalin. 10 milligrams a day. Is it like a tranquilizer? It's a stimulant. A stimulant? My God, she's higher than a kite now. The condition isn't quite what it seems. Nobody knows the cause of hyperkinetic behavior in a child. Ritalin seems to work to relieve the condition. As to how or why, we really don't know. But the symptoms could be overreaction to depression. That's out of my field. My daughter isn't depressed. Well, you mentioned her father and the separation. Do you think I should take her to a psychiatrist? No. I think we should wait and see what happens with the ritalin. I think that's the answer. Ok. Let's wait 2, 3 weeks. All right. And the lies she's been telling, that's part of it, huh? Lies? Like saying her bed's shaking, that stuff? Have you ever known your daughter to swear, to use obscenities? No, never. Hmm. Interesting. Similar... Similar to things like her lying, it's uncharacteristic for her-- I don't understand. She doesn't swear. Well, she let loose quite a string while I was examining her, Mrs. MacNeil. I find that hard to believe. What did she say? Her vocabulary is rather extensive. Well, give me an example. Like what? Specifically, what did she say? Well, specifically, Mrs. MacNeil, she advised me to keep my fingers away from her... Goddamn cunt. I can't believe it. Oh. Now, she-- you don't think a psychiatrist? No. I think the best explanation is always the simplest. Well, we'll wait. We'll wait and see. Ok. So, in the meantime, try not to worry. How? The edema affected her brain. You understanding? She don't let no doctor come near her. She was all the time screaming, even talking to the radio. You should have called me the minute it happened. Regular hospital not gonna put up with adema, so we give her a shot bring her here till the doctors, they fix up her leg. Then we take her right out. 2 or 3 months, she's out, good as new. Miss... Yes? We want to see Mrs. Karras. Do you have an appointment? Yes. Are you a relative? I'm her brother. He's her son. Just a minute. [Woman sobbing] You know, it's funny... If you wasn't a priest, you'd be famous psychiatrist now on park Avenue. Your mother, she'd be living in a penthouse instead of... You go in, dimmie. I wait for you outside. You'll find Mrs. Karras in the last bed on the left-hand side. I'm so sorry... No, no, no. Come along. Don't bother the father. Go to your bed. Father, I wanna talk. Let me out. The father will be back. It's all right. [Sobbing] Mama... It's dimmie, mama. Dimmie... Why you did this to me, dimmie? Why? Mama, I'm going to take you out of here. Mama, I'm going to take you home. [Speaking Greek] Everything's going to be all right. Mama, I'm going to take you home. [Speaking Greek] Mama, I'm going to take you home. Couldn't you put her someplace else? Like what, private hospital? Who got the money for that, dimmie... You? There seems to be an alien pubic hair in my drink. I beg your pardon? Never seen it before in my life. Have you? Well, actually, father, we're pretty comfortable up there, at least compared to the gemini and Mercury programs, where they were tight for space. You see, we've got about 210 cubic feet, so we move around. If you ever go again, will you take me along? What for? First missionary on Mars. Tell me, was it public relations you did for the gestapo or community relations? I'm Swiss. Yes, of course. And you never went bowling with goebbels, either, I suppose? Nazi bastard. Over behind the church. You know where I mean? It's a red-brick wing. St. Mike's. What goes on there? Who's the priest I keep seeing there? He's there all the time. He has black hair, and he's intense-looking. Damien Karras. That's his office behind St. Mike's. He's our psychiatric counselor. Had a pretty rough knock last night, poor guy. His mother passed away. She was living by herself, and I guess she was dead a couple days before they found her. Cunting hun! Bloody damn butchering Nazi pig! Stop it! I'll kill you! Aah! Leave him alone! Get out! Get out! [Shouting] What's the matter with you? What's for dessert? You sleeping? [Drunken singing] Whoa! Steady, big fella. Ok. There you go. All right. Listen, Burke, your car's at the curb. Louie's waiting. It's nice and warm. Oh. Yes, honey, what? Fuck! God. I hope he makes it. I do, too. Was he acting up! Flying is what he was. Oh, I think we still have... ¶ Down on the east side of toidy-toid and told ¶ this is a great party. Yeah. Don't stop. Hey, you! Haircut! Where are you going? - You talkin' to me, baby? - Yeah, I'm talkin' to you! Come here! - What's happening? - Where you been? - In there. - Can you stand a toss? - Sure, I'm clean. - You use shit? No, man. Who are you, Dick Tracy or somebody? I said I was clean. - I'm not gonna get stuck, am I? - I'm clean! - If I do, you know what happens. - Yeah. I said I'm clean. Get off! I'll break your motherfuckin' ass! Give me a nickel. Give me a nickel. Come on! I told you I'm clean. What the fuck you wanna come down on me like that for? This is goddamn full of shit. - How's everything? - Everything's everything, baby. There's nothin' out there. It's all milk. - There ain't nothin' around. Nobody's holdin'. - I got a name for you. Sal Boca. Brooklyn. - Boca? - Yeah. B-O-C-A. - Never heard of him. - What about his wife Angie? Doesn't register. There's been some talk, though. - About what? - A shipment. Comin' in this week, the week after. Everybody's gonna get well. - Well, who's bringin' it? - Who knows? - Where do you want it? - Huh? - Where do you want it? - Oh, shit. This side. Beat it! I'm gonna check on this address. Ifthey don't know you, it's your ass. - I thought I told you to stand there! - Get that hair down before Saturday. We're goin' now. Goodbye! Move ass. Tell everybody we'll be back in an hour. Great, but you belong in Bedford-Stuyvesant, not Ridgewood. Why don't you detach us? Give us a shot, at least till we find out ifthere's anything here. Everybody wants Weinstock. Maybe here's the lead we're looking for. We deserve this. You couldn't burn a three-time loser with this garbage. The man has done absolutely nothin'. You'll wind up in an entrapment rap. Brooklyn is loaded with guys that own candy stores, two cars and go to nightclubs. You put this hustler together with Weinstock and maybe we got a big score. Big score, my ass! At best he's sellin' nickel-and-dime bags. I wouldn't be infringing' on your coffee break if I thought it was a nickel-and-dimer. Your hunches have backfired before, Doyle, or have you forgotten about that already? Jesus Christ, Jimmy, what's happened to you guys? Every year you lead the narcotic bureau in arrests. What was it, over 100 again last year? Terrific. But who? What did you bring in? A high-school kid in short pants that had a twitch? You grab a bellhop because he's got three joints in his sock? Walter, we got the information there's no shit on the street, right? It's like a desert full ofjunkies waiting to get well. Goddamnit, this could be it. This little candy-store guy, he's put on a big show... ..in a club with no narcotics connections. They were all over him. And after working a day and night, we tail him to Brooklyn. And we sat on him for practically a week, and who do we come up with? Joel Weinstock. Now you gotta let us have it. Do you believe all this crap? I go with my partner. - What'll it take? - A wire. No, two wires. One on the store, one on the house. You know I have to get a court order for a wire tap, don't you? - But you'll try. - We know you can do it, Walt. Popeye, you still picking your feet in Poughkeepsie? J'entends parler de ça. Je n'arrive pas á y croire. Alorsje vais un peuparlerpourmoi. J'ai tendance á... penser á mes propres problémes, enfiin... Monsieur Devereaux, is this your first trip to New York? - Yes, it's my first. - Why did you choose to come by ship? The next several weeks will be very difficult for me,... ..and the ocean is the only place where the telephone isn't ringing all the time. Do you agree with the recent survey finding... ..that showed that Mayor Lindsay was the sexiest man in the world? Toutá fait, oui. Here's the warrants and the court order for the wire tap. Judge gave you 60 days. Mulderig and Klein'll sit in for the feds. They'll make all the buys. Make sure you keep 'em informed of everything that goes down. You know Doyle there, don't you? Yeah, I know Popeye. His brilliant hunches cost the life of a good cop. Ifthis is the way you're comin' in on this, why not stay home and save us a lot of grief? - Because that's my opinion. - Shove it up your ass. Whatever. Bill, do me a favour, give them a chance. He came in with a little basic information. You worked with him, had some trouble, but don't get off on the wrong foot. - You have any problems, come to me. - Simonson, just keep off my back. Just try and cool it with him. Ifyou have any problems, come to me. I'll handle him. - I'll be happy to work with him. - He's a good cop. - He's got good hunches once in a while. - Fine. Just keep him off my back. Florida's MackelBrothers invite you tojoin the great escape. You can saygoodbye to airpollution, commuting, high prices, rising taxes... ..and cold, depressing winters. MackelBrothers willshowyou the way to Florida andfresh, clean air. Warm andsunnyyear-round weather in a home thatyou'llbe proud to own. Call MackelBrothers rightnow... Popeye. Popeye. - What? - It's me, Cloudy. Open the door. I can't. - What do you mean, you can't? You all right? - Yeah, I'm all right. Let yourself in, will you? What happened? That crazy kid. She locked me up with my own cuffs. - Where's the keys? - Over there. Hi there. Anybody hurt in this wreck? I thought I told you to get plastic folders for this stuff. Your scrapbook is like you. - A mess. - Give me my pants, will you? Come on. - Did you get the warrants? - Yeah. I also got two feds. Mulderig and Klein. What do we need those pricks for? Because our department's got about 908 bucks to make buys,... ..and they can get all they want from Uncle Sap. Hello. These yours, darling? 30 over here for this gentleman. Can I get 35? - 35 here. - 35 over here. Can I get 38? - Yeah, right here. - 38 over here. How about 40? - 40. - 40 over here. I got 40. Can I get 41? 41? 40 once, 40 twice. Sold to the gentleman for $40. We come now to the next number: 42399. - 10 bucks. - I got $10 over here. Do I hear 12? - 12. - 12 over here, 12. Can I get 14? - 14. - 14 over here. How about 16? Can I get 16? - 16. - 18. 18 over there. How about 20? - 20. - $20 over here. How about 22? - 22. - I got 22 over here. Can I get 24? - 24. - 24 over here. How about 25? 25, anybody? - 25. - I got 25. Can I get 26? Can I get 26? 25 once, 25 twice. Sold to the gentleman for 25. Every car sold here... - Where are you? - Taking care ofbusiness. What do you mean, taking care ofbusiness? It's aftermidnight. You know... Ihad to meet some people tonight. Well, fiinish allyourmeetin'people andget back here now. Andbring a pizza with you. Where am Igonna get a pizza this time ofnight? Well, try, OK? I don'tknow where I'm gonna fiinda pizzajoint open. - Sal? - Yeah. Don'tforget- anchovies. - Salvatore? - Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. Hello. - Who is it? - Yeah, this is Sal. Howare you? - Sounds like a foreigner. - You meetme Wednesdayat the hotel, OK? - Sounds French. - Willl expectyou? - Yeah. What time? - 12 o'clock. Yes? Yeah. Yes. Strictly small potatoes. You sure can pick 'em, Doyle. Still wearing your gun on your ankle? Someone told me the reason why you do that is... ..when you meet a chick and you rub up against her,... ..she can't tell you're a cop. I said it's bullshit. It's gotta be a fast-draw gimmick or somethin'. Bill, why don't you knock it off, huh? He's gettin' too far ahead. You're gonna lose him. For Christ's sake, move the car! What the hell is goin' on here? Klein, this is Cloudy. Do you read me? Klein, this is Cloudy. Do you read me? ! Come in, for Christ's sakes! This is Cloudy. Do you readme? Listen, we losthim on the bridge. Right. I got him. He's headin' north on East River Drive. - Excuse me. - Excuse me. You take Sal. I'll take the beard. There goes Sal. - You want the red or the white? - Pour it in your ear. - Yes, sir? - Yeah, guyjust walked in, what's his name? I'm pretty sure that one's a Frog. He made me, too. He lives on four, he went up to six. He's cute, real cute. The other guy's a Frog. He checked into the Edison. Had a hooker sent up. You should have collared him right there. - Who's on him? - Klein. - How about Sal? - We put him to bed for the night. Why don't you do the same, Doyle? You look like shit. Come on. Look, my partner and I made this case, you know, originally. - We don't want any feds screwing it up. - Case? So far you haven't shown me a thing. You keep shootin' your mouth off, I'm gonna knock you right into next week. - Knock it off. - Don't tell me to knock it off. Cut it out, will ya, for Christ's sakes! There's nothin' goin' down. Get some sleep. Blastoff. 180. 200. Good Housekeeping seal of approval. 210. US government certified. 220. Lunar trajectory. Junk-of-the-month club. Sirloin steak. 230. Grade-A poison. Absolute dynamite. 89 per cent pure junk. Best I've ever seen. Ifthe rest is like this, you'll be dealin' on this load for two years. - It's worth the half million? - How many kilos? - 60. - 60 kilos... Eight big ones a kilo, right? This stuffll take a seven-to-one hit on the street. By the time it gets down to nickel bags, it'll be 32 million. Thank you, Howard. Take what's left there with you and good night. Uh-uh. Not that one. The little one. - I guess we got a deal, huh? - What we got here, Sal, is a test. A deal for half a million dollars? Maybe. Maybe? Come on, the guy's in a hurry. He wants the bread. He wants to go back to France. This guy's not gonna play games. Look, he's one ofthe shrewdest cats I ever come across. What am I, a schmuck? What's the hurry? He could see a couple of shows, visit the top ofthe Empire State Building. Don'tjerk me, Weinstock. I spent a lot oftime setting' this one up. So what do you want, a badge? This is your first major-league game, Sal. One thing I learned: move calmly, move cautiously, you'll never be sorry. Look, I've been damn careful up to now. This is why your phone lines are tapped and the feds are crawlin' all over you like fleas. - He'll take the deal somewhere else. - Let him take it and find out how easy it is... ..to put together a half a million in cash. There's no hurry to do this kind of business. The stuff is here! We can make the switch in an hour! Look, I'm tellin' you, he'll split ifwe don't move. This guy's got 'em like that. He's everything they say he is. What about you, Sal? Are you everything they say you are? That son of a bitch. Thank you. - Hello? - This is Doyle. I'm sittin' on Frog One. Yeah, I know that. We got the Westbury covered like a tent. The Westbury, my ass! I got him on the shuttle at Grand Central. Now what the hell's goin' on up there? I make him comin' out ofthe hotel. He was free as a bird. What the hell are you talkin' about? Yeah, well, uh... Listen, I don't care how many bartenders you got that are sick. No, I'm not workin' thatjoint. That's right. Same to ya, buddy. Can I get a grape drink? Watch the closing doors. Son of a bitch! Hi. Can I have a round-trip ticket to Washington? - Cash or charge? - Cash. Cash is $54. Please print your name on both tickets before you board the plane. - Bye-bye. - Bye-bye. Have a nice flight. - Yes, sir? - Round trip to Washington. - So? - So everything's goin' great. Terrific. Beautiful. I'll need a few more days, though. The boys think we oughta cool it for a while, just to make sure there's no heat. You must take me for an imbecile. Why do you think I asked you to meet me in Washington? I haven't spent five minutes in New York City without the company of a policeman. Look, I'm levellin' with you. I need a little more time. My people think we oughta find a better time to make the switch, that's all. It has to be by the end ofthis week. Look, Charnier, you gotta be reasonable. It's your problem. Well, it's your problem, too. So nice to have seen you again. We found a set ofworks on the kid driving the sports car. - His girlfriend's in the back. She's dead. - Give the car a toss. - I say we keep sitting' on Boca. - Jimmy, give it up. It's all over with. Ifthere was a deal, it's gone down by now. We blew our warrants and we blew our cover. Listen, I know the deal hasn't gone down. I know it. I can feel it. I'm dead certain. Last time you were dead certain, we ended up with a dead cop. Break it up! Will you two break it up? Stop it! Hold on to yourself. What's the matter with you? Jimmy, you wasted two months on this. No collars are comin' in... ..while you're runnin' around town jerkin' off! Now go back to work! You're off special assignment! Get down! Get out! Get outta the area! Leave her alone! Stay away! Leave her alone. There's a sniper up there! Hey! Hey! Stop that man! He's wanted by the police! - What's the next stop into the city? - 25th Avenue. Hold it! Hold it! Police emergency. I need your car. When am I gonna get it back? For Christ's sake! Hold it! Stop! Halt! - Don't stop. - But... - Don't stop or I'll kill you. - I gotta stop in the next station. Touch the brakes and I'll blow you in half. - What's goin' on? - I don't know. Sit down, buddy. Relax. Coke! Coke, you all right? Hey, Coke, you all right? Don't answer. Hey, Coke, you all right? - Get back. - Relax. Keep going. You're not gonna get away with this. Put the gun down. Get back! - Come on, now. - I said get back! Stop! Hold it! Let's get outta here! Come on, come on. Shake your ass. Can't seem to find the damn ticket. - Where's the guy? - He's gettin' my car. He's in the back. Thank you. - Can I help you, sir? - Yeah. - You got your ticket? - I must have dropped mine. What kinda ticket did you have? He's in the brown Lincoln. Foreign plates. He's walking towards Front Street. Gothim. Angie's parked overhere in the LTD. Cute. You stay with her. We're gonna sit on the Lincoln. The car's dirty, Cloudy. We're gonna sit here all night ifwe have to. What time is it? Ten after four. - Huh? - Ten after four. That's the third time those guys have been around. All right, let's hit 'em. Hit 'em! Freeze! Nobody move! Put your hands in the air! Stay right there. Ifyou move, I'll blow your fuckin' head off. - What the hell's that? - What are you doin'? Turn around. Who's the boss here? Who's runnin' this outfit? You are? What are you doin' here? - Just runnin' around. - Who sent you down here? Don't talk back. - What are you doin' here? - We saw the car. We was breaking down the tyres. That's all it was. Lock 'em up. Come on, come on! Nothin' but a bunch of lousy spic car thieves! - Nothin' there except a New York City map. - Are you bullshittin' me? That car's dirty. Take it in and tear it apart. Tear it out. Nothin' here, Jimmy. This is all solid. There's nobody been under that car since it came from the factory. That thing is clean. I don't buy that, Irv. The stuff is in that car. Well, you find it. I can't. Enfiin on ne va pas passerlajournée ici. Ça fait deuxheures qu'on estlá. Soyez patient. Look, the car was lost sometime last night. First they send us to Pier One, then here. Then what? Why did you park the car down by the waterfront? You're staying in midtown Manhattan and you lose the car by the Brooklyn Bridge? Monsieur Devereaux is scouting locations for a film for French television. He probably left the car to look at something. We were told by the police commissioner that the car was brought to this garage. - I demand its immediate return. - You have to be patient. We get four or five hundred cars here a day. Monsieur Devereaux is an important guest ofthis country. He is working with the absolute cooperation and participation ofyour government. Here are his credentials from the French consulate. Unless you wish to see this in his film, I suggest you locate the car immediately. You're in a no-smoking area, sir. Would you please extinguish your cigarettes? What was the weight ofthe car when you got it, Irv? 4795 pounds. You sure? That's what it was. 4795 pounds when it came into the shop. Owner's manual says 4675. That's 120 pounds overweight. And when it was booked into Marseilles it was 4795. That's still 120 pounds overweight. Jimmy's gotta be right. Listen, I ripped everything outta there except the rocker panels. Come on, Irv. What the hell is that? Shit. Son of a bitch. All right. I got it for you, Randy. Itjust came in from downtown. - Who's Devereaux? - I am Mr Devereaux. Why? I'm sorry, Mr Devereaux, but we get a lot of cars here and it's hard to keep track... - You mean the car is here now? - Oh, yeah. It's right outside. They stole it right offthe street from you, huh? Goddamn. You're gonna have to pay the towing charge, you know. I was told these things happen in New York, but one never expects it. Yeah, well, that's New York. Is this your first trip over here? Yes. Where's my car, please? It's right over here. You're lucky this time. It's in perfect shape. Not a scratch. You must lead a charming life. Henri. Je vous attendais. Let's go! I wouldn't be surprised if I'd been followed. - Listen, I'll see you at Pop's tonight. - OK, babe. Take care. They got the bridge blocked off! This is the police. You're surrounded. Come out with your hands up! This is the police. You're surrounded. Give 'em the gas! Hold your fire! Stop! They're comin' out! Hold your fire! Popeye. It's me, it's me. Frog One is in that room. Drop it! Mulderig. You shot Mulderig. The son of a bitch is here. I saw him. I'm gonna get him. Visiontext Subtitles: Sally Lewis ENGLISH SDH [Bell Tolling] [Tolling Continues] [No Audible Dialogue] [Car Starts] [People Speaking French] [Baby Crying] [Bell Jingles] [TV: Man Speaking French] [Chattering] [Man] Merry Christmas! - What's your name, little boy? - Eric. Uh-huh. Eric. What do you want for Christmas, Eric? - Hmm? - Johnny Lightning 500. - Mm-hmm. Have you been a good little boy? - Yes. Have you? Good. Do you like Santa Claus? - Huh? - Mm-hmm. Oh, now, you like Santa Claus, right? - ♪♪ [Jukebox: Funk] - [Chattering] All right, let's sing a little song. "Jingle Bells." [With Children] ♪Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪ ♪Jingle all the way ♪ ♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪♪ - ♪♪ [Continues] - [Chattering] [Man] Right on. Right on. Get out of here. Get up. Get up! Hold 'em up. Don't move. - [Man] Hold it! Freeze! - [Man #2] Jimmy, watch it. He's got a knife. Cloudy - Cloudy, watch him. Aaah! Son of a- [Panting] [Horns Honking] [Chattering] Son of a bitch. - [Grunts] - Hold it, you son of a bitch! No! No! No! [Groaning] That's enough. Don't kill him. That's enough! - Come on. - Get up! - Come on now. - Give me a break! - Please. - Holy shit. - I ain't done nothin', man. - Break your ass! Come on. Hey. - Come on. - Get up! Stop it! - Let me at him, goddamn you! - Jimmy! - Fuck you. - Will you stop it? I'm gonna bust you. Get over here. Come on. - Jimmy. - Come on, let me- Let me bust him. I wanna bust him. - I wanna bust him. - Don't— - Let me talk to him. Let me talk to him. - Oh, you- - You got a friend here, buddy. - Just for a minute. - You got a friend. - Jimmy. You gonna tell us who your man is? - When's the last time you picked your feet, Willie? - Who's your connection? - What's his name? - What? - Answer him! - No! No, man. No. I ain't never- Is it Joe the barber? Joe the barber, right? That's who it is, isn't it? - Aw, don't give us any shit. What's Joe's last name? - I don't know, man. Give him a chance. Just give him a chance. - Give him a chance. - Man, all I know is he lives on 125th Street- - Above the barbershop. - What side of the street does he live on, huh? North or south? North or south, huh? I don't know what you're talking about, man. I don't know— I'm asking you what side of the street he lives on! Hey, shithead, when was the last time you picked your feet, huh? - Man, what's he talkin' about? - I've got a man in Poughkeepsie wants to talk to you. You ever been to Poughkeepsie? Huh? - Have you ever been to Poughkeepsie? - Hey, man, give me a break. - I don't know what you're talking about. - Come on, say it. Let me hear you say it. Have you ever been to Poughkeepsie? You've been to Poughkeepsie, haven't you? - I wanna hear it! Come on! - Yes. Yes, I- - You've been there, right? - Yeah. Yeah. You sat on the edge of the bed, didn't you? You took off your shoes, put your finger in between your toes and picked your feet. Say it! - Yes. - You put a shiv in my partner. You know what that means? Goddamn it! All winter long I gotta listen to him gripe about his bowling scores. Now I'm gonna bust your ass for those three bags... and I'm gonna nail you for pickin' your feet in Poughkeepsie. [Speaking French] [Man #2 Speaking French] Merci. - Bonjour. - [Speaking French] [Speaking French] Merci, chéri. [Giggles] [Woman On P.A.] 13-80, 61. 13-80, 61. - Who's detective for 13 Victor Six? - Yes, ma'am. How many fellas? - Two? ...a family dispute. - Do you have a description? - [P.A. Continues, Indistinct] Yes, ma'am. Ha. Need a little help there, huh? You dumb guinea. - How the hell did I know he had a knife? - Never trust a nigger. - He could have been white. - Never trust anyone. - You goin' sick? - No. - Huh? Are you goin' sick? - No! What do you say we "popeye" down to the Chez and have a couple of drinks? - I'm beat. I'm gonna go home. - All right. One drink. - Drink this. - Whip it out. [Laughs] ♪ How many times have I been downhearted ♪ ♪ Looked up and saw him smiling like a shiny dime ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ - [Chattering] ♪ I hoped that he would stay and tell me why ♪ - [No Audible Dialogue] - ♪ He was so happy if he had the time ♪ ♪ Oh, I wish there was a way to race him ♪ ♪ Catch a flying horse and chase him ♪ ♪ Everybody's going to the moon ♪ Me and you. ♪ Everybody's going It'll be quite soon ♪ ♪ It's customary in songs like this ♪ ♪ To use a word like spoon ♪ ♪ By the light of the silvery ♪ ♪ I'm flyin' to the silvery You know ♪ - ♪ Everybody's goin' to the moon ♪ - [No Audible Dialogue] ♪ How many times while looking down ♪ ♪ Has he heard us singing songs ♪ ♪ And wondered who we were ♪ Hey! ♪ And envied us ♪ ♪ Because the lady in the moon is gone ♪ ♪ And now he misses her ♪ ♪ And then he wondered to himself Now, why is it ♪ ♪ No one ever pays a visit ♪ ♪ Everybody gets to go to the moon Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Everybody's got to go It'll be quite soon ♪ ♪ Now, it's customary in songs like this ♪ ♪ To use a month like June ♪ ♪ By the light of the silvery ♪ ♪ We'll take a flight to the silvery You know ♪ ♪ Everybody's going to the moon ♪ Now, isn't it a miracle... that we are the generation... that's gonna touch that shiny bubble... with our own two hands? ♪ And it's got to make you glad to be alive ♪ ♪ Yes, it's got to make you proud ♪ ♪ To be alive ♪ ♪♪ [Vocalizing] [No Audible Dialogue] Whoo! I make at least two junk connections... at that far table over there in the corner. - Right? - [No Audible Dialogue] And the guy in the striped shirt and tie combo... I know him too. I thought we came here to buy me a drink. Who is that clown? He's a policy guy from Queens. Right. [No Audible Dialogue] Dig the creep that's coming to the table now. It's Jewish Lucky. He don't look the same without numbers across his chest. [Chuckles] That table is definitely wrong. ♪ It's customary in songs like this ♪ ♪ To use a word like spoon ♪ ♪ By the light of the silvery ♪ ♪ Flight to the silvery ♪ - ♪ Everybody's going to the moon ♪♪ - [Audience Applauds] More. What about the last of the big-time spenders? You make him? No. You? He's spreadin' it around like the Russians are in Jersey. Nice. What do you say we stick around and give him a tail? Come on. Just for fun. Give who a tail? The greaser with the blonde. What for? You wanna play hide the salami with his old lady? Yeah. [Laughs] [No Audible Dialogue] Miss, uh, can I ask you about those boots there? Uh- [Exhales, Sniffles] Monica. - Who in the hell's that? - Who keeps score? - [Jimmy] Hey. - Hmm? - Kissy devil, isn't he? Look at him. - Yeah. - Well, they're all cousins. You know that. - Yeah. All right. - [Whistle Blows] - Yeah, say good-bye. Come on. What's he got now? - Hudson Terraplane. That's what he got. - No, no. Uh-uh. - Easy, easy. - Okay. Go to work. Cloudy, lay odds he takes us to Dago town. We'll take him, Popeye. He's nothin'. [Cloudy] 7:00 in the morning. I don't believe this. [Jimmy] Relax. You're having fun, ain't you? [Engine Starts] [Jimmy] Man, if that's not a drop... I'll open up a charge for you at Bloomingdales. Make it Alexander's. I like the toy department. [No Audible Dialogue] [Engine Starts] He's coming back. Pass him. Make a left. [No Audible Dialogue] [Outboard Engine Running] [Speaking French] [French] [Chuckles] Alain. Bonjour. Enchanté. [Tapping] [Cloudy] Our friend's name is Boca— Salvatore Boca. B-O-C-A. They call him Sal. He's a sweetheart. He was picked up on suspicion of armed robbery. Now, get this. Three years ago he tries to hold up Tiffany's... on Fifth Avenue in broad daylight. He coulda got two and a half to five... but Tiffany's wouldn't prosecute. Also, downtown they're pretty sure he pulled off a contract on a guy named DeMarco. [Jimmy] What about his old lady? Her name's Angie. She's a fast filly. - She drew a suspended for shoplifting a year ago. - [No Audible Dialogue] She's only a kid. Nineteen, according to the marriage license. Mmm. Nineteen going on 50. What else? He's had the store a year and a half. Takes in a fast seven grand a year. So what's he doing with two cars... and hundred-dollar tabs at the Chez? The LTD's in his wife's name. The Comet belongs to his brother Lou. He's a trainee at the garbageman school on Ward's Island. He did time a couple of years ago... assault and robbery. The black Cadillac- Uh, NewJersey plates. RWN-264. I know that one cat. We saw him outside the Pike Slip Inn the other day. [Cloudy] I wanna get a blouse like that for my girlfriend... but I want you to model it for me. Better not let my husband hear that. I don't care if he hears it. Will you do it for me? Okay. How much you gonna pay? - Fifty dollars an hour. - Fifty an hour? I'll do it... 200. [Cloudy] Nah. Can't afford it. I'll call you later. All right. Bye-bye. Hey, it's 1:30. I didn't expect you till 2:00. - [Angie] You work around here? - Yeah. Across the street. [Jimmy] That's the third time he's come here this week. [Cloudy] Mm-hmm. - You got anything on this building? - The building's clean. I checked the tenant list. Remember Don Ameche, the actor? He lives here. Oh, yeah. And somebody else. Does the name Joel Weinstock ring a bell? - Oh, you're kidding. - No, sir. He lives right here. [Chuckles] He was the bank on a shipment out of Mexico... What was it? Three years ago. Yeah, so I hear. [Radio Chatter] [Cloudy] He's going to Ward's Island. We're gonna be spotted there. - What the hell is he doing that? - Maybe he's gonna go down and see his brother. - Shit. - Well, maybe it's another drop. Well, he gets a free ride. - ♪♪ [Jukebox: Funk] - [Indistinct] - ♪♪ [Stops] - All right, Popeye's here. Get your hands on your heads. Get off the bar and get on the wall. Come on, move. Move! - [Cloudy] Come on, sweetheart, move. - Come on, move it! - Face the window. Move! - Face the wall. - Turn around there. Turn around. - Move! Come on, move! - Hands outta your pockets. - Turn around. - Come on. Come on. - Turn around, big man. Come on, turn around. Get on the wall. Turn around. You— Turn around. - Hey. You drop that? Pick it up. - Hold those hands up. Pick it up! Come on, move. What are you lookin' at? All right, bring it here. Get your hands out of your pockets. - What's my name? - Doyle. - What? - Mr. Doyle. Come here. You pick your feet? - What? - Do you - Get over there. Get your hands on your head. [Cloudy] Hold 'em up. We told you people we were comin' back. We're gonna keep comin' back here until you clean this bar up. Keep your eye on your neighbor. If he drops something, it belongs to you. What is this, a fuckin' hospital here? Huh? - Turn around there, fella. - What do we got here, huh? This belong to you? Huh? Stand up there, "noddy." Get your hands on your fuckin' head. Get in there! - You wanna take a ride there, fat man? - Oh, bullshit. Huh? Pay attention. We're gonna ask questions later. Turn around. [Man Whispering] Fuckin' bullshit. All right, shut up there. Shut up! Anybody want a milk shake? All right, come over here. You... and you. Hey, whiskers! Come over here. - Move ass when I call you. - [Indistinct] - Get out of here. - You. Come on, you, baldy. Come on. Come on, move. All right, put it on the bar. - What are you pullin' on me for? - Get it on the bar. Get the hell in there. Put your hands on your head. All of it. Smartass, you dropped something. Pick it up. You want that hand broken? Get it up there. What else you got here, huh? [Cloudy] Turn around. You're under arrest. That goes for you too. Get in that phone booth. Come on, move. Move! - Keep 'em up. Keep 'em up. That's good. - Get in there. All right, face the wall, put your hands against the wall and lock yourself in. Hey, you, haircut. - Where are you going? - You talkin' to me, baby? Yeah, I'm talking to you. Come here. Get out of there. - Move. - What's happening, baby? - Where you been, huh? - I've been in there. - Can you stand a toss? - Sure. I'm clean. - You use shit? - No, man. Oh, man, who are you, Dick Tracy or somebody? I said I was clean. - I'm not gonna get stuck, am I? - No. I said I'm clean. - If I do, you know what happens, don't you? - Yeah. I said I'm clean. Aw, motherfucker, don't- I'll break your motherfuckin' ass. Fuck you. - [Indistinct] - Oh, yeah, in where? - Gimme a nickel. - Come on, man. Gimme a nickel. Come on. Come on! I told you I'm clean. Why the fuck you wanna come down on me like that for? - Get your ass in there. - Oh, man, would you- This ain't nothin' but goddamn bullshit. [Exhales] - How's everything? - Everything's everything, baby. Hey, how come there's nothin' out there? That stuff's all milk. Ain't nothin' around. Nobody's holding. - I got a name for you. Sal Boca. Brooklyn. - Boca? Yeah. B-O-C-A. - Never heard of him. - What about his wife, Angie? Doesn't register. - There's been some talk. - About what? A shipment... coming in this week, week after. Everybody's gonna get well. - Well, who's bringing it? - Who knows? Oh, shit. [Exhales, Groans] - Where do you want it? - Huh? - Where do you want it? - Oh, shit. This side. [Groans] - Beat it. - Damn. [Groans] I'm gonna check on this address in the Bronx... and if they don't know you there, it's your ass. [Cloudy] I thought I told you to stand there. Get that hair done before Saturday. We're going now. Good-bye. [Cloudy] Move ass. Tell everybody we'll be back in an hour. All that is great, but you belong in Bedford-Stuyvesant, not out there in Ridgewood. Why don't you detach us then, for Christ's sakes? Give us a shot at it. At least till we find out if there's anything here or not. Everybody wants Weinstock, right? Well, maybe here's the lead we're looking for. We deserve this. You couldn't burn a three-time loser... with this garbage you're bringing in here. The man has done absolutely nothing. The first thing you know, you'll wind up in an entrapment rap— the both of you. Brooklyn is loaded with guys... that own candy stores, two cars, and like to go to nightclubs. Yeah, but you put this little candy store hustler together... with Joel Weinstock, and maybe we got a big score. Big score, my ass. At best he's selling nickel and dime bags. I wouldn't be infringing on your coffee break, Simonson... if I thought it was a nickel-and-dimer. Your hunches have backfired before, Doyle. Or have you forgotten about that already? Jesus Christ, Jimmy. What's happened to you guys lately? Every year you lead the Narcotics Bureau in arrests. What was it, over a hundred again last year? Terrific. But who? What did you bring in? - A high school kid in short pants that had a twitch. - Oh, Christ. You grab a bellhop because he's got three joints in his sock. Walt, we got the information there's no shit on the street, right? It's like a goddamn desert full of junkies out there. - Everybody waiting to get well. - Goddamn it. This could be it. This little candy store guy... He's puttin' on a big show in a fancy nightclub with known narcotics connections. They were all over him. And then, on our own, after working a whole day and night... we tail him to Brooklyn, and we sat on him for practically a week. Now, who do we come up with? Joel Weinstock, for Christ's sake. Now, you gotta let us have it. Do you believe all this crap? I go with my partner. - What'll it take? - A wire. - No. Two wires. - Two wires. One on the store, one on the house. You know I have to get a court order for a wiretap, don't you? But you'll try. We know you can do it, Walt. [Chuckles] Popeye. You still pickin' your feet in Poughkeepsie? [Chuckles] [Man Speaking French] [Ship's Horn Blows In Distance] [Chattering] [Woman] Mr. Devereaux, is this your first trip to New York? Uh, yes. It's my first trip. Why did you choose to come by ship? The next several weeks will be very difficult for me... and, uh, the middle of the ocean is the only place... where the telephone isn't ringing all the time. Mr. Devereaux, do you agree with the recent survey finding... that showed that Mayor Lindsay was the sexiest man in the world? [Man Speaking French] - [Chuckles] - To les femmes. [Man On P.A., Indistinct] Here's the rest of the warrants. The court order's in there for the wiretaps. Judge gave you 60 days on it. Tell Doyle that Mulderig and Klein will sit in for the feds. They'll make all the buys. Make sure you keep 'em informed of everything that goes down. You know Doyle there, don't you, Bill? Yeah, I know Popeye. - His brilliant hunches cost the life of a good cop. - Hey, look. If this is the way you're comin' in on this... why don't you stay home and save us all a lot of grief? - 'Cause that's my opinion. - Shove it up your ass. Whatever. Bill, look. Please... Do me a favor. Give them a chance. He came in here with a little basic information. I know you worked with him before. You had a little trouble. - But don't get off on the wrong foot, huh? - I'm not getting off... - If you have any problems, come to me with 'em. - Just keep him off my back. - Just try and cool it with him. - I will. If you have any problems, come to me. I'll handle him. - Do me a favor. - I'll be happy to work with him, believe me. He's a good cop- basically a good cop. - He's got good hunches every once in a while. - Fine, fine, fine. - Give him a chance. - Keep him off my back. [Man On Radio] Florida's Mackel Brothers... invite you to join the great escape. You can say good-bye to air pollution, commuting... high prices, rising taxes and cold, depressing winters. Mackel Brothers will show you the way to Florida... and fresh, clean air, warm and sunny year-round weather... and a home that you'll be proud to own. Call Mackel Brothers right now for— [Horn Honks] [Bell Dinging] [Children Chattering] [Man On TV, Muffled] Popeye. Popeye! - [Jimmy] What? - It's me, Cloudy. Open the door. I can't. What do you mean, you can't? You all right? Yeah, I'm all right. Let yourself in, will you? [Baby Crying] [Clicks] What happened? [Yawns] Mmm, that crazy kid. [Chuckles] She locked me up with my own cuffs. [Yawns] Where's the keys? [Mumbling] Over there. [Yawns] [Gasps] - Hi there. - [Door Shuts] [Yawns] Anybody hurt in this wreck? Thought I told you to get plastic folders for this stuff. [Yawns] Your scrapbook is like you- a mess. Gimme my pants, will ya? Come on. - Did you get the warrants? - Yeah. I also got two feds- Mulderig and Klein. [Groans] What do we need those pricks for? Because our department's got about 908 bucks to make buys... and they can get all they want from "Uncle Sap." Hello. These yours, darling? [Man] Mike, take a look at this blue one with the tan, on the right. [Chattering] [Man Speaking French] [French] [Woman Speaking French] [Man] You got an extra grand with you? [Man #2] A lot of this stuff is worth a grand, total. - I got it. I got it if I need it. - All right. - Keep it good and ready. - Did you look at the board, Mike? [Whistle Blows] Thirty over here from the general. Okay, I got 30. - Can I get 35? Anyone, 35. - Thirty-five here. - Thirty-five over here. How about 38? - Yeah, right here. Thirty-eight over here. How about 40? Can I get 40? - [Man] Forty. - Forty over here. I got 40. Can I get 41? Forty once. Forty twice. Sold to the gentleman for $40. All right, we come now to the next number, 42-399. - [Speaking French] - Rambler four-door sedan. - Do I hear $10? - [Man] Ten bucks. - I got $10 over here. Do I hear 12? - Twelve. - Twelve over here. Twelve. Can I get 14? - Fourteen. - Fourteen. - Fourteen over here. How about 16? - Can I hear 16? Sixteen? - Sixteen. - [Man] Eighteen dollars. - Eighteen over there. How about 20? Can I get 20? - Twenty. - Twenty dollars over here. How about 22? Twenty-two? - Twenty-two. - I got 22 over here. Can I get 24? - Twenty-four. - Twenty-four over here. How about 25? - Twenty-five. - Twenty-five. I got 25. Can I get 26? Can I get 26? Twenty-five once. Twenty-five twice. Sold to the gentleman for 25. Every car sold here today— [Woman On Tape] Where are you? [Man On Tape] Taking care of business. What do you mean, taking care of business? It's after midnight. - You know, uh, I had to meet some people tonight. - [Chuckling] [Woman] Yeah, well, finish all your meeting people and get back here now. - And bring a pizza with you. - Where am I gonna get a pizza this time of night? [Laughing] [Woman] Well, try, okay? Hey, I don't know where I'm gonna find a pizza joint open. - Sal? - Yeah? Don't forget— Anchovies. - [Man On Tape] Salvatore? - [Man #2 On Tape] Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. - Who is it? - Hello. Hello. Yeah, this is Sal. - How are you? - Sounds like a foreigner. You meet me Wednesday at the hotel, okay? - Good. Great. - Sounds French. - Will I expect you? - Uh, yeah. What time? - 12:00. Yes? - Yeah. Uh, yes. Yeah. - Ohh— - Oh, ho! [Whooping, Shouting] Strictly small potatoes. Sure can pick 'em, Doyle. Still wearing your gun on your ankle? You know, someone told me the reason why you do that... is when you meet a chick and you rub up against her... she can't tell you're a cop. [Chuckles] I said, "That's bullshit. It's gotta be a fast-draw gimmick or something." Bill, why don't you knock it off, huh? He's gettin' too far ahead. You're gonna lose him. [Horns Honking] [Tires Squealing] [Horns Honking] [Man] For Christ's sake, move the car, huh? - Jesus Christ! - [Man #2] Move it! - [Honking Continues] - [Man #1] Move it, will you, mac? Son of a— What the hell is goin' on here? Come on, Cloudy, move. Klein, this is Cloudy. Do you read me? Bill, for— Bill, come in, for Christ's sakes. [Cloudy On Radio] This is Cloudy. Do you read me? Listen. We lost him on the bridge. Right. I got him. He's heading north on East River Drive. [Chattering] Excuse me. Excuse me. [No Audible Dialogue] [Jimmy] You take Sal. I'll take the beard. There goes Sal. [No Audible Dialogue] - [Chattering] - ♪♪ [Piano: Soft Jazz] [No Audible Dialogue] [Sniffles] Do you want the red or the white? What year? [No Audible Dialogue] [Chattering] [No Audible Dialogue] - Yes, sir. - Yeah, uh, the guy who just walked in- What's his name? [Brakes Screech] [Cloudy] Here. I'm pretty sure that was the frog. He made me too. He lives on four. He went up to six. He's cute. Real cute. The other guy's a frog too. He checked into the Edison. - Had a hooker sent up. - You could have collared him right there. - Who's on him? - Klein. - How 'bout Sal? - We put him to bed for the night. Why don't you do the same, Doyle? You look like shit. - [Cloudy] Come on. - Look. My partner and I made this case. You know? Originally. We don't want any feds screwing' it up. Case? So far you haven't showed me a damn thing. You keep shootin' your mouth off, I'm gonna knock you right in the middle of next week. - Aw, get out— - [Cloudy] Knock it off. - Don't tell me to knock it off, goddamn it. - We don't need this. Now, cut it out, will ya? For Christ's sakes! There's nothing going down. Get some sleep. Blast off. 180. 200. Good Housekeeping Seal of approval. 210. U.S. Government certified. 220. Lunar trajectory. Junk of the Month Club sirloin steak. 230. Grade "A" poison. Absolute dynamite. 89% pure junk. Best I've ever seen. If the rest is like this, you'll be dealing on this load for two years. - So you're telling me it's worth a half million? - How many kilos? - [Sal] Sixty. - Sixty kilos? Eight big ones a kilo, right? This stuff'll take a 7-to-1 hit on the street. And by the time it gets down to nickel bags, it'll be at least 32 million. Thank you, Howard. Take what's left there with you, and good night. Uh-uh. Not that one. The little one. - I guess we got a deal, huh? - What we got here, Sal, is a test. A deal for half a million dollars? Mmm. Maybe. Maybe? [Scoffs] Come on, Joel. I know that guy's in a hurry. Wants the bread. He wants to go back to France. This guy's not gonna hang around and play games. Look, he's one of the shrewdest cats I ever come across. What am I, a schmuck? What's the hurry? He could see a couple of shows... visit the top of the Empire State Building. Don't jerk me, Weinstock. I spent a lot of time setting' this one up. So what do you want, a badge? This is your first major league game, Sal. One thing I learned- Move calmly, move cautiously. You'll never be sorry. Look. I've been damn careful up to now. This is why your phone lines are tapped and the feds are crawling all over you like fleas. Aah. Look, I'm telling you, he'll take the deal somewhere else. So let him take his 60 kilos of heroin someplace else... and find how easy it is to put together a half a million in cash. He wouldn't find there's any hurry to do this kind of business. The stuff is here! We could make the switch in an hour! Look, Weinstock, I'm telling you. He'll split if we don't move! This guy's got 'em like that. He's everything they say he is. What about you, Sal? Are you everything they say you are? I'll be a son of a bitch. [Grunts] [Grunting] [Door Alarm Buzzes] Come on! Thank you. Hello. This is Doyle. I'm sittin' on Frog One. Yeah, I know that. We got the Westbury covered like a tent. The Westbury, my ass! I got him on the shuttle at Grand Central. Now, what the hell's goin' on up there? I make him coming out of the hotel, free as a bird. There wasn't a soul awake. What the hell are you talking about? Yeah, well, uh- Listen, I don't care how many bartenders you got that are sick. Nah, I'm not workin' that joint. That's right. Same to you, buddy. Can I get a grape drink? - [Man On Speaker] Watch the closing doors. - [Alarm Buzzing] You son of a bitch! Hi. Can I have a, uh, round-trip ticket to Washington? - Washington? Cash or charge? - Cash. - [Woman] Cash is $54. - Right. Okay. Please print your name on both tickets before you board the plane. Yeah. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Have a nice flight. - Yes, sir? - Round trip to Washington, please. [Car Door Closes] So? So everything's going great, terrific, beautiful. I'll need a few more days though. The boys think we oughta cool it for a while... just to make sure there's no heat. You must take me for an imbecile. Why do you think I asked you to meet me in Washington? I haven't spent five minutes in New York City... without the company of a policeman. Look, I'm leveling with you. I need a little more time. It's just that my people think we oughta find a better time to make the switch. - That's all. - It has to be by the end of this week. Look, Charnier. You got to be reasonable. It's your problem. Well, it's your problem too. It's so nice to have seen you again. [Speaking French] [French] [Radio Chatter] [Man, Indistinct] [Horn Honks] I don't want to get into this. I gotta have time. I can't get any more time. - Give me some fuckin' time, will you? - You're not gonna get it. We found a set of works on the kid driving the sports car over there. His girlfriend's in the back of the car. She's dead. - Give the car a complete toss. - I say we keep sitting' on Boca. Jimmy, give it up. Give it up. It's all over with. If there was a deal, it's gone down by now. We blew it. We blew our warrants. We blew our cover. Walter, listen. I know the deal hasn't gone down. I— I know it. I can feel it. I'm dead certain. Last time you were dead certain, we ended up with a dead cop. Hey! Hold— Hold on! Hold on! Break it up, both of you! Will you two break it up? Stop it now. Hold on to yourself! What's the matter with you? - Son of a- - Jimmy, you wasted two months on this. No collars are comin' in while you two guys are runnin' around town, jerking' off. Now, go back to work! You're off special assignment! [Man On Radio] 10-4. [Bell Dinging] [Child] Oh, there he is! [Gunshots] - Oh! Oh! - [Screaming] - [Screaming] - Get down! Get down. Get out of the area! Leave her alone! Get away! Leave her alone! There's a sniper up there! [Children Crying] [Crying Continues] [Woman Screaming] [People Chattering] [Man] Somebody should call the doctor. [Speaking Spanish] [Man] Hey, there's a doctor right across the street. - [Man #2] There must be a doctor. - [Man #3] There is one. [Chattering Continues] [Panting] [Train Approaching] [Train Whistle Blows] Hey! - [Brakes Screeching] - Hey! Stop that man! He's wanted by the police! [Horn Beeps] - What's the next stop into the city? - 25th Avenue. Hold it! [Tires Screech] Police emergency! I need your car. I need your car. - [Horn Honking] - When am I gonna get it back? [Horn Honking] For Christ's sake! [Horn Honks] [Horn Honking] [Horns Honking] Hold it! Stop! Halt! - [Grunts] - [Screaming] [Screaming Continues] [Horn Honking] - [Tires Squealing] - [Horn Honking] [Honking Continues] - Don't stop. Don't stop, or I'll kill you! - Hey, what? What— I gotta stop in the next station. Touch the brake, and I'll blow you in half. [Horn Honking Continues] [Tires Screeching] [Train Whistle Blows] - What's going on? - I don't know. Sit down, buddy. Relax. Coke! Coke, you all right? [Horn Honking] Hey, Coke. You all right? - [Pounding] - Don't answer. [Honking Continues] [Mouths Words] Hey, Coke. You all right? - [Woman Screams] - Get back! - Relax. Now, put your gun down. - Keep going! [Woman] Oh, my God! [Screams] You're not gonna get away with this. Put the gun down. - Get back! - Come on now- - I said get back! - You can't get away... [Women Screaming] Stop! [Screaming] [Horn Honking] Hold it! [Man] Let's get out of here! [Man Shouting] Come on! Come on! Shake your ass. It's getting cold. I can't seem to find the damn ticket. - Where's the guy? - He's getting my car from the back. [Horn Honks] - Thank you. - Sure. - Can I help you? - Uh, yeah. Uh— It's a convertible. Do you have the ticket? The top one. The top floor? - What kind of ticket do you have? - Never mind. He's in the brown Lincoln, foreign plates. - All right. He's walking towards Front Street. - [Klein On Radio] Got him. Angie's parked over here in the LTD. [Russo On Radio] Cute. You stay with her. We're gonna sit on the Lincoln. That car's dirty, Cloudy. We're gonna sit here all night if we have to. [Shouting] [Vehicle Approaching] [Horn Honks] What time is it? Ten after 4:00. - Huh? - Ten after 4:00. That's the third time those guys have been around. - All right. Let's hit 'em! Hit 'em! - [Siren Wailing] Freeze! All right. Nobody move! Put your hands in the air! [Sirens Continue] Get over... Get over there! Hey! Get up there! Spread those fucking legs! Now stay right there! You move, I'll blow your fuckin' head off! - What the hell's that? - What are you doing? Turn around! - Man, I have my rights. - What do you mean, your rights? Who's the boss here, huh? Hey, who's running this outfit? - I am. - You are? - What are you doing here? Who sent you down? - Just runnin' around. Don't talk back to me, man. What are you doing here? - We saw the car, man. - You heist this car? No. We was breaking down the tires. That's all it was. Lock 'em up. Lock 'em up. Lock 'em up. - All of you, come on. - Come on! Come on! Come on. Stop draggin' your ass. Keep your hands on your head. You dumb spics, get outta here! Lock 'em up and throw away the goddamn key! [Police Radio Chatter] Nothin' but a bunch of lousy spic car thieves. - Nothin' in there except a New York City map. - Are you bullshittin' me? [Grunts] That car's dirty. Take it in and tear it apart. [Jimmy] Tear it right out. Tear it out! Nothing here, Jimmy. Look in here. [Coughing] This is all solid. [Loud Hissing] [Tire Bouncing] [Whirring] There's nobody been under that car since it came from the factory. That thing is clean. I don't buy that, Irv. The stuff is in that car. Well, you find it. I can't. [Indistinct] [Speaking French] Look, the car was lost some time last night. First, they send us to Pier 1, then they send us here. Then what? I don't understand why you parked the car down by the waterfront. You tell me you're staying at the Doral in midtown Manhattan... and you lose the car out by the Brooklyn Bridge? Look, Monsieur Devereaux is scouting locations for a film for French television. He probably left the car to look at some point of interest. We were told by the police commissioner's office that the car was brought to this garage. I demand its immediate return. You're going to have to be patient, Mr. Devereaux. We get 400, 500 cars here a day. Monsieur Devereaux is a very important guest of this country. He's working with the absolute cooperation and participation of your government. Here are his credentials from the French consulate. Unless you wish to see this episode portrayed in his film... I suggest you locate the car immediately. You're in a no-smoking area, sir. Will you please extinguish your cigarettes? What was the weight of the car when you got it, Irv? 4,795 pounds. You sure? That's what it was... 4,795 pounds... when it came into the shop. The owner's manual says 4,675. It's 120 pounds overweight. And when it was booked into Marseille, it was 4,795. That's still 120 pounds overweight. Jimmy's gotta be right. Listen, I ripped everything out of there except the rocker panels. Come on, Irv! What the hell is that? Uh-huh. Well, shit! Son of a bitch. All right. [Chuckles] [Arguing In French] It isn't the only car we have here. Got it for you, Randy. It just came in from downtown. - Who's Devereaux? - I am Mr. Devereaux. Why? Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Devereaux... but we get a lot of cars here at night, and sometimes it's hard to keep track... - You mean the car is here now? - Oh, yeah, yeah. It's right outside. They, uh, stole it right off the street from you, huh? Goddamn. You're gonna have to pay the towing charge, you know. I was told these things happen in New York, but one never expects it. Well, that's New York. Is this your first trip over here? - Yeah. Where's my car, please? - It's right over here. Oh. But you're lucky this time. It's in perfect shape. Not a scratch. You must lead a charming life. [Chattering] [Indistinct Dialogue] Henri. Je vous attendais. [Speaking French] [Metal Clanging] [Chattering] [Engine Starts] - [Man] Let's go! - Bon voyage. Merci. - I would give you a ride, but- - [Engine Revving] - [Inaudible Dialogue] - Tom, take care. [Sal] Take care, baby. [Sal] Lou! It says Stephen means... Well, I think you'll find that when they invented the name Alan, it was a boulder, and over time, it might have worn down. Perhaps now it's a little pebble. But a beautiful pebble that would skim really well across a flat surface. I'll tell you the answer. You do get your points though, I think, for knowing that Alan means rock or pebble. You'll actually find most of them not in any Celtic country, but on the Russian border, in the northern Caucasus mountains, where the Alan tribe have lived since being driven there by the Huns in the 4th century. - The Alans... - That was a bad weekend. We still talk about that. - Alan Coren, Alan Bennett and Alan Parsons. - All of us. We get together. We conference call. And if someone mentions the Huns, quite often there's a lull in the conversation and we have to gather ourselves. Of course, the Alans were master horsemen who introduced the idea of chivalry to Europe and may have inspired the stories of King Arthur and his knights. The great Pliny the Elder, however, takes... Pliny the Elder, who I know is a source of constant mental nourishment to you, Alan. He takes a very... a very different view, firmly telling us that Alans are a race of bastard degenerates. (applause) - He doesn't know anything at all. - (Stephen) No. - Is he the Roman one? - But I have to come clean myself. If Alans are going to be attacked, I will be in the queue being herded onto the trains too because my father is an Alan. - Is he? - So there's a little bit of Alan in me. - Is there any Alan in you? - No, no. Do you want some? My name means... It's Rich. (Stephen) It means wealthy, opulent, with money, plutocratic. - No. - (Stephen) Doesn't Rich mean that? - No. No, it doesn't at all, Steve. - OK. It means aquarium gravel. - My name, Peter, means rock. - (Stephen) It certainly does. The rock upon which the church of our Lord and Saviour was built. - (Alan) How can all these names mean rock? - (laughter) When human beings first arose, there wasn't much to name things after. There was big rock, little rock, middle rock, pebble, grit. So, but this is quite interesting, I think, and I think this is right, but you know you were saying Alan means rock or pebble, and there are two other words I can think of that mean that - that mean pebble - calculus, I think, means literally pebble. - And pessary as well, I think, means pebble. - Who are you that you know that? - Well, calculus is... Yes, because... - Calculus is adding with pebbles. Yes. They used pebbles on abacuses and in ways of counting, black and white pebbles. See, we're only 200 years old in my country. We missed out on a lot of that stuff. I did mention that they were also described by Pliny as a race of bastard degenerates, and Edgar Allan Poe, well, he's an example really. He married his 13-year-old cousin, he indulged in drinking sprees that make Liam Gallagher look like Ned Flanders, and he died literally in a gutter in Baltimore in 1849. Yet, he was also, of course, like so many Alans, a truly prophetic genius. Two years before he died, he wrote a long prose poem called "Eureka", which anticipated one of the great discoveries of the 20th century by 80 years. What was it? He married his 13-year-old cousin and he lived a life of drinking. - (Stephen) Yeah. - So he predicted Jerry Lee Lewis's career. (laughter and applause) - (Alan) He foresaw it in a prose poem. - (Stephen) He foresaw it in a poem. Called "Great Balls of Fire", or, "Goodness Gracious". - Stick to "Great Balls of Fire". That's what... - A meteor. - His theory... - (Alan) Cigarettes. - What's the theory? The theory? - (Julia) Relativity. - The big bang. - (Stephen) The big bang. Thank you. - I'll give you a point. Well done. - (applause) Edgar Allan Poe believed that all matter had once been concentrated into a single particle which then expanded to fill space - a theory not accepted by science until 1931. "Eureka", his prose poem, goes on to predict the general theory of relativity, parallel universes, and the structure of the atom. Pretty good going for a poem that doesn't even rhyme. You know the word rhyme? There's no word that actually rhymes with the word rhyme. - (Alan) Lime. - (Julia) Time. Apart from those two. - Slime. - Three. - Grime. - (Rich) Orange. You know, if I was a Cajun man, I'd say, "Orange and dorange". (Stephen) What would they mean by dorange? - Door hinge. - Door hinge! (laughter) (applause) Definitely two points for you. Now, young girls and the expanding universe are also famous obsessions of Allen Stewart Konigsberg. - Or better known as Woody Allen. - Woody Allen. Yes, Woody Allen. Well done. Half a point for knowing Woody Allen's real name. - (Alan) A tiny fragment of a point. - (Stephen) Yeah, a fragment. A pebble. A little pebble. An Alan of a point. But Woody Allen is by no means the Alan with the worst reputation in Hollywood. Who is, Rich, would you say? The Alan with the worst reputation in Hollywood. It's Alan "Big Al" Allinson, who was so taken by his Celtic Breton background that he killed a lot of people with rocks. No. Would it help if I told you his name? - (Peter) I think I know what it is. - Yeah? - Is it Alan Smithee? - Yes! Oh! Ten points to you. - Well done. Absolutely right. Very good. - What's he done? (Stephen) Peter, explain. Well, I think this is what it is. When a director directs a film, and, like, say if the studio interfere and they re-edit it and the director disowns the film, they can choose to put Alan Smithee instead of their real name. - Absolutely right. Absolutely right. Yes. - (applause) Alan Smithee is the name used when directors disown a film, either because they've lost control of the final cut, or it's simply too awful to admit to. Smithee's oeuvre include such classics as Hobgoblins II, Boggy Creek III, Hellraiser IV and, most famously, Dune, where he codirected with David Lynch. So, very well done. How did you know about that? You just knew? I... Well, Tony Kaye did that - tried to do that. - (Stephen) With American History X. - Yeah. And I never saw American History X because I didn't see any of the first nine, you know, so... Oh, you literate fellow. Now, The Boy on a Dolphin isn't a Smithee film, - but it did star the very short matinee idol... - (elephant trumpets) - Alan Ladd. - (Stephen) Yes. Another half point to take you up to a full one point for your two splendid intrusions. - Sophia Loren was in it. I've actually seen it. - Very good. And what can you tell me about the making of the film that's quite interesting? (laughter) - There's no actual dolphins or boys. - (Stephen) No, it's... He's really short. Stands on a box. Or she... They had to dig a trench for her. Five to you. She had to stand and walk about in a trench. The interesting thing about Alan Ladd was he was only, like, four foot three, but it was all his legs that were short. Like, his trunk was normal. - Sat down, he was taller than most people. - Is that true? Good heavens. But when he stood, yeah, they had to put him on a little apple crate. I never know with you. That's what's so worrying. - No, it's absolutely true. - (laughter) Alan Ladd was to recall working with Sophia Loren in Boy on a Dolphin, that "Working with her was like being bombarded by watermelons". - Ha! - (Stephen) Exactly. Thank you. For the sake of our audience who hadn't quite got that image, thank you for it. As Woody Allen - Mr Konigsberg - once pointed out: "Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman". Now, lastly on the subject of Alans, what would you do with a pair of Alans? Australians should know this because it's one of the particular ways of speaking Australia shares with Britain, or particularly with London. - Alan Whickers. - Alan Whickers. Knickers. There you are. Oh, we haven't heard that one, cos we call them Reg Grundies - undies. Oh, there you are, you see. Perfect. Here's a quite interesting thing about rhyming slang. I heard someone in a London market talking and saying, "I'm not Listerine." And I said to him, "What do you mean, Listerine?" And Listerine is an example of a sort of... a rhyming slang that's moved on one, because an American in rhyming slang is often called a septic, short for septic tank. Yank. Which you've probably heard. So if you don't like Americans, you are antiseptic. And if you're antiseptic, you're Listerine. - (Julia) Oh, I like it! - (Stephen) See? Listerine. There you are. So, in the same way, while we're on the subject, you can have a rubber Gregory. - (Julia) I love it. - Do you know what it is? A peck. Gregory Peck? Rubber neck. That would work as a rubber neck. It's a cheque that bounces. A Gregory Peck is a cheque and so if your cheque bounces - in other words, returned by the bank - it's a rubber... (Cockney accent) "He gave me a rubber Gregory." Do you like my earthy street London accent there? - He sounds like such an idiot. - Yeah. There we are, ladies and gentlemen. In the right hands, even a meaningless two-syllable name can be made as frisky as a gay ferret in a pink blender. I leave you with one last Alan. Alan Bennett, who when asked if he was gay, replied wearily: (as Alan Bennett) "That's a bit like asking a man crawling across the Sahara whether he would prefer Perrier or Malvern water". (laughter and applause) Our final round, ladies and gentlemen, as ever, is a dazzlingly dispiriting display of general ignorance. Fingers hovering over your mushroomoid-style buzzers now, please, and let's see if we can give Alan a run for his money. So, question one, who was the first man to circumnavigate the globe? (doorbell) - Magellan. - Magellan! - Oh, dear! Oh! - (alarm bells) - What have I done? - Magellan is the howler, I'm afraid. I'm sorry. - What do you mean, no? Ring him. - No, he wasn't. He wasn't the first. Magellan was killed in the Philippines halfway round. He never finished. He never finished. His ship was the first to. The laurels go to his second in command, the almost completely unknown J S Elcano, aka Juan Sebastian del Cano. I don't suppose they'll rename the Magellan Straits the del Cano Straits, but nonetheless, it's good to help out people who've been deprived by history. So, what was the nationality of the inventor of the helicopter? - British. - (Stephen) British, you think? No, not correct. - (express train whistles) - Italian? Oh! Italian, he said! Oh, we thought you might say that. No. You were thinking of Leonardo da Vinci, weren't you? No, you see. The answer is this. Actually he was Chinese. The first known helicopter was a popular toy called the bamboo dragonfly which could fly 25 feet up into the air and dates back to at least the fourth century AD, therefore more than 1,000 years before the idea occurred to Leonardo da Vinci in 1480. (Alan) But who actually did make a helicopter first? Not a silly bamboo thing, a proper helicopter. You know, going... (makes whirring sounds) Running across. Pilot. Helicopter just means a spiral, a screw-wing. Helixopter. A real one with an engine that takes off on tyres. I think the nation that really lays claim to inventing the first modern helicopter in the sense that we would use it is in fact the French. Now, next question. What do you get if you suck your pencil for a long time? - Lead poisoning. - (Stephen) She's done it! - (alarm bells) - Can you believe it? Can you believe these people? No, there is no chance on God's or any other earth we know of of getting lead poisoning. - (Alan) You mean Sir was lying? - No, there is no lead in a pencil. It's called lead. It has no Pb in it, no element of lead whatsoever. It's pure graphite. Since the invention of the pencil, they've been made of graphite, which is the pure crystalline form of carbon and will do you no harm. - Why the lead thing? It's not lead? - (Stephen) It's not lead. It never has been, never will be. It's graphite. That's why they're not very heavy when you pick 'em up. - (Stephen) Exactly. - You might say they're more HB than Pb. - (Stephen) Yeah! - (Julia) Oh! It's time for the final scores. Let me give them to you. Oh, dear. I'm afraid in fourth place it's Peter with minus five. - Minus five! - (Stephen) Oh, lordy Lord. In third place it's Rich with three points. In second place, Julia with nine, but way out in front it's Alan with 23 quite interesting points. (applause) Well, that about knocks it on the head for QI. It only remains for me to thank our four wise monkeys, Rich, Julia, Peter and Alan, and to close with this thoroughly positive and quite interesting thought from yet another great British Alan, the boxer Alan Minter, who reassures us: "Sure, there have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious." Good night. (applause) Louis I. Kahn, whose strong forms of brick and concrete influenced a generation of architects and made him, in the opinion of most architectural scholars, America's foremost living architect, died Sunday evening apparently of a heart attack in Pennsylvania Station. He was 73 years old. Besides his wife, Mr. Kahn leaves a daughter, Sue Ann. When I first read that obituary, I have to admit I was looking for my own name. I was his child too, his only son. I didn't know my father very well. He never married my mother, and he never lived with us. But I can still remember every detail of the few times we spent a whole day together. On this afternoon, we had a picnic. He painted with watercolors, and my mother snapped these pictures. He died when I was 11. The circumstances of his death have always fascinated me. He was bankrupt and alone on his way back home from India. He collapsed in the downstairs men's room in Penn Station, New York. The police couldn't identify him, because, for some unknown reason, he crossed out the address on his passport. They took him to the city morgue, where he lay unclaimed for three days. What was he thinking at the end? Had he seen anyone? Had he talked to anyone? Had he really decided to leave his wife and come and live with us like my mother said? For years, I struggled to be satisfied with the little piece of my father's life I'd been allowed to see. But it wasn't enough. I needed to know him. I needed to find out who he really was, so I set out on a journey to see his buildings and to find whatever was left of him out there. It would take me to the other side of the world looking for the man who left me with so many questions. My father had been dead 25 years, so there wasn't much time left if I wanted to meet any of his colleagues. I figured I'd start at the top: the guy with the glasses. - Mr. Johnson. - Good to meet you. - Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you. - You're Lou's son? Yes. Generations go by quickly, don't they? I've just decided Lou was the most beloved architect of our time. - Really? - Yeah... Well, think of anybody else. Frank Lloyd Wright was too cantankerous to love. Mies van der Rohe wasn't... you couldn't talk to him at all. Corbusier was mean. But Lou, now, there was a man. All my buildings don't add up to what his three or four buildings, because he, when he did get a client... however he ever got any clients is a mystery, because artists don't get jobs. Every time I've tried to do art, I've ended up with a... I've made much less. Nothing to be ashamed of, naturally. I do it the other way. I do it by numbers and... and public fame and all that. But Lou did it by being an artist. He'd sit and work on art, see? And I always wished... I think he did too... wished he knew me better, and I always wished I knew him better. - Why? - Well, you know, there's some things that don't go into words. It's animal attraction... his mind, really, because his person... to look at him wasn't much a pleasure. - It wasn't? - It couldn't be. See, he was so scarred. Funny, he never talked to me as directly as he should have. - Who? - Lou. He never came here, though. - Didn't he ever come here? - To the glass house? That's strange, 'cause I built it in '49. Possible. Possible. Do you think Lou would have liked this house? - No. - Why? Oh, rigid boxes, you know. He... He was his own artist. He was free compared to me. The first time I'd gotten a real sense of Lou's legacy was when I was a student up the road at Yale University. My father was only 5'6" but he cast a long shadow in New Haven. He built his first and last major buildings here: the Yale Art Gallery in 1953; and right across the street, the British Art Center, finished after his death. I used to wander around in those buildings on weekends. They were silent and mysterious, and I half expected Lou to just appear from around the next corner. There were rows of books about his work in the library. He hadn't built very many buildings, but apparently they had changed the course of architecture: the Salk Institute, the Kimbell Art Museum, the Exeter Library, the Capital of Bangladesh. My art history professor, Vincent Scully, had been a friend of Lou's, but he always talked about him like some long-dead ancient hero. It was unsettling. From the very beginning he was after symmetry, order, geometric clarity, primitive power, enormous weight... as much as he could get, like this great monster that stands in the middle of this space. You know as I said too, I think, before: enduring monuments. He wants his materials to kind of last, which is a permanent work in the world. That's what he's after. You know, it was such a wonderful thing to be close to somebody who really was changing everything. You said at one point that he wanted to make everything right. - He wanted to make it perfect. - Perfect. You know, in Jewish mysticism, which I know almost nothing about, but... God can only be known through His works, right? And since the messiah hasn't come yet, hmm, the works of any Jewish architect might be the works of God. And you take those pictures of Louie when he's looking into the light and when he's enjoying silence like this, it's... it makes the hair stand up, because it really is like that, as if he's in some way communicating with this fundamental thing, that God is in the work. So it has to be perfect, you see. It has to be perfect. It can't be impatient. It's timeless. I wanted to ask you. Do you think... did anybody know that Lou had three families all at once? No, I didn't. As a matter of fact, for years I didn't know Lou was married. - Really? - Yeah. That was part of his mystery. My mother and I lived on the outskirts of Philadelphia at the end of a secluded road. Lou would visit every once in a while, mostly at night. We never knew quite when it would be. He'd call at the last minute and say he was on his way. My mother would frantically whip up a five-course meal and have a Martini in a frozen glass waiting for him. I got to stay up late, and Lou would tell me wonderful stories about India and elephants and tigers. In the middle of the night, we'd all bundle into the car and drive him back downtown. I'd lie in the backseat. We were all silent. When I asked my mother why we couldn't all live together, she explained that his wife wouldn't give him a divorce. Why didn't he just run away? We'd stop at the end of Clinton Street and let him out. He'd walk down the block and disappear into the dark house, his wife's house. Her name was Esther. They had a daughter named Sue, who was 20 years older than me. When I was in first grade, I found out I had another half sister, Alex. Her mother was a lady named Anne. Then there was my mother and me. Lou was 61 when I was born. All three families lived within several miles of each other, but we never crossed paths until Lou's funeral. - Do you remember this guy? - Hell of a man. - Sure, I remember him. - Did he ever ride in your cab? 20, 40 times. Who knows? He was a cab rider, strictly cab rider. - Yeah, he didn't drive? - Never. He used to sit in front. - He sat in front? - Oh, yeah. - Really? - Yeah. That was your dad, world-famous architect. Yeah, that was your father. - Do you remember him at all? - A little bit, vaguely. - Did he ever ride in your cab? - Vaguely. He loved the women. Not the young ones, but he loved the women. Do you remember what he looked like or... His face was pointed. Yeah, and his hair was... his hair was, you know, very thin, like a blond. - Like a what? - Like it was blond. Yeah. Oh, blond, uh-huh. Do you remember that he had scars on his face? Oh, sure. It would look like he was burned. Yeah. This is where your father had his office, right there, where it says tickets, upstairs. That's 1501. That's where he was, right here. The office at 1501 Walnut Street was the last place I saw my father. My mother would bring me here sometimes after hours and on weekends. Lou would lean out the top floor window and toss down a key wrapped in yellow tracing paper, to let us in. When I went to high school, I had a teacher in the arts who was head of the department, Central High: William Gray. And he gave a course in architecture, the only course... in any high school, I'm sure... in Greek, Roman, Renaissance, Egyptian, and Gothic architecture. And at that point, two of my colleagues and myself realized that only architecture would be my life. How accidental our existences are, really, and how full of influence by circumstance. Here at the University of Pennsylvania, one of the world's great architects, Professor Louis Kahn, teaches and creates. This is his Richards Medical Research Building, called by the Museum of Modern Art in New York City probably the single most consequential building constructed in the United States since World War II. It is principled, vigorous, fundamental, and exhilarating. This building is Kahn's greatest achievement. People come by all the time with their cameras taking pictures of this awesome architectural wonder, and we just sit upstairs in the window and laugh at them, because it's not a good place to work. I don't feel comfortable in my room, in my lab. The temperature is not constant. - The temperature is not constant? - Yeah. I don't like that birds fly into the windows and get killed. It's not a pretty building. You know what I mean? It doesn't have a good-looking architectural to it. You know what I mean? It needs face, something different... Maybe paint the pillars a different color than the building or something. You know, I mean, something to give it a little pizzazz instead of, like I said, look like a bomb shelter. This was Lou's only major building in Philadelphia, and I wanted to like it. But I had to agree it was kind of disappointing. Around this time, an article appeared in the Philadelphia Inquirer about my search. It quoted me as saying that I wanted to hug my father's buildings, which was very embarrassing, but it stirred things up. I got several letters, including one from a relative of Lou's who was a rabbi. He said that he'd officiated at Lou Kahn's funeral and Lou Kahn didn't have a son. Hello? - Is this Rabbi Kramer? - Yes. Yeah, hi. This is Nathaniel Kahn calling. God in heavens, the whole world opened up, my friend. What are you talking about? I mean, gosh, I've been raising hell with the Inquirer. I said, "Find that man." You're raising hell with the Inquirer? - Why are you doing that? - To find you, sir. Oh, well, I'm glad you did find me. Look, don't forget Lou Kahn's my first cousin. Lou Kahn is your first cousin? And my parents was his godparents. Wow, I didn't know that. Well, I knew Lou very well. With all due respect, I hear Lou fooled around. Well, you know... Anyway, I'm here, so that's a good thing. What would you do with the film once you... Oh, it'll be on... it'll be on TV, you know. - Wow. - Yeah, so... I'd like to come and interview you. - I'm photogenic. - Oh, you're photogenic, okay. Let's see if anybody's home. Just calling for you. Oh, that was kind of you. No camera, please. - No camera? - No camera. No, I understand. I know you were skeptical, so I wanted to show you my birth certificate, which, um, you know... My bris certificate? I don't have that. What do they do? That's okay, I understand. Not that I'm proud of being... but I'm trying... '74, right, and you... the two of you were there at his funeral, right? But people in the family really didn't know that he was an internationally known architect, did they? Does that mean no money to show for it, you mean, or what? Why did they think that he traveled the world and he didn't amount to anything? I grew up not knowing anything about Lou's family and the Jewish half of my background. I'd hoped so much that Kramer would fill in that part of the story for me, but I was disappointed. In this society, how you made it is now like the dust has cleared. Something else was happening, though. Details about my father were coming back to me: his voice, the rough feel of his scars. That was one of my favorite stories. I made him tell it to me over and over. He was three years old back in Estonia. There were coals glowing in a stove. He was captivated by the light. He took the coals out and put them in his apron. It caught fire, and the flames seared his face and the backs of his hands. His father thought it would be better if he died, but his mother said he would grow up to be a great man because of it. I first met your father... some AIA affairs. And I sat right next to Lou. And I praised him, on the Richards Laboratory. I thought that was really a marvelous group of buildings. And it was then that he told me, "You know, "go to Scotland." - Really? - Know that? No. The Scottish castle gave him the inspiration. - For Richards? - Yes. And I said, "That group of buildings are really one of your best." And he said, "Well, the best is yet to come." That was Salk. So then he told me about his relationship with Salk. He said, "I have the best client." And he said, "Well, I view somehow that this will be an important piece of work." And as it turned out to be. I consider it to be a masterpiece of his. The two of you have varying degrees of success with clients. You seem to have succeeded very well. I am... I am, but I'm a little bit more able to... a little more patient, perhaps, because of my being Chinese. If my client... let's say a person did not agree with me, I'll let it pass, and I'll come back another day. I don't think Lou would do that. Lou would probably... push it right through. And then when he found a client that is sympathetic, it's a client for life, huh? And I don't think I could claim that. On the other hand, I probably... lost fewer clients than he did. Oh, way fewer. I think you've built way more. You've had way more success rate - in terms of your buildings... - Building doesn't mean success. - No? - Building... three or four masterpieces are more important than 50, 60 buildings. Quality, not quantity. Architecture has to have the element of time. How can you judge a work today, let's say a work by anyone of these modern architects that you know about that's exciting and wonderful. And then what'll happen to it 20, 50 years later? That's the measure. That's why that Salk Center will always be as perfect as it was conceived. The teakwood may fade away. It probably did... or has. But the spirituality of that project will remain. Now, that building will stand the test of time. No question about it. There is something spiritual about this space. For the first time since he died, I felt I was getting closer to my father. The scientists told me the building is not only beautiful, but it works. Unlike the Richards medical towers, where the labs are small, these labs are totally open, spanning the full length of the building, and each scientist has a study with an unobstructed view of the Pacific Ocean. Lou was 65 when Salk was finished. He said it was the first building he was really happy with. I looked up one of the men who worked with him on the project, a guy named Jack MacAllister. Jack moved out here during construction and never left. I was in charge of this project when I was 25. You had an incredible responsibility. Unbelievable. That was one of the things that he had: enormous trust in young people. Lou put me in charge and gave me his checkbook. And he said, you know, "You distribute the fees." And I grew a beard because I wanted to look older. I'm serious. How old were you when Lou died? - I was 11. - That's what I thought. - I was 11, yeah. - Did you know him well? - I have a sense for him. - Right. And I saw him, you know, once a week, maybe. - That's all, though? - That's about all, yeah. - Did you ever travel with him, or... - No, no. That's why I wanted to talk to you, because you spent a lot of time with him. - Oh, yeah, me and my family did. - Your family did too? He used to spend Christmas with us, yeah. - He spent Christmas with you? - He loved Christmas, yeah. He absolutely loved it. I can remember him lying on our bed watching cartoons with the kids... and then falling asleep, you know? They'd just say, "Lou's sound asleep, Daddy." That's when we'll leave... "You know, leave him be. He's tired." Lou was very willful, you see? He didn't want anything in his buildings to look like he hadn't anticipated them. So when something was going to happen, instead of trying to suppress it, he made more of it. And that's a way of thinking about things, you know, - not just architecture, about anything. - Sure. Any adversity, any difficulty. Instead of trying to cover it up, you pull it out and express it, and then you own it. And, I mean, you might say... it's probably a loose fit, but it had to do with his own physical imperfection - that... - His face, you mean? Yeah, that the scars on a building that are produced by the way it's made should be revealed. I think he really believed that. It all had to do with revealing the process of what it was about. And he probably learned to think about himself that way. I've never said the before, and it may be bullshit, but it's an interesting thing to think of. You know, you can't be stupid all your life. You got to be smart too. We used to use the expression, you know, in the college... when I went to college. When we couldn't solve a damn problem, you know, because it was so difficult and... or you didn't study for the examination you took that morning, you know, we always said, "I wish we were smart instead of good-looking." That was the expression we used. He was an incredible man who we all supported and forgave for a lot of things because of what he was doing. What kinds of things did you have to forgive him for? Oh, I once... on very short notice he came to me and asked me to build a model of a project while he was out of town. And I went in, and I spent two or three days working on it. I finally finished it. I went to bed at about midnight, and he came in from wherever he was. He may have been in India, I don't know. And he came to the office about 3:00 in the morning, called me at home. "Jack, this is Lou. That model you built is a piece of shit." Bang. What do you say? Maybe it was. He could have been right, you know? But... You know, he was capable of that kind of thing too. - At 3:00 a.m.? - Yeah, at 3:00 a.m. He didn't know what time it was. - Did you ever drink with Lou? - Oh, yeah. Oh, you should ask my first wife. Hello, Mr. Katz? This is Nathaniel Kahn returning your call. Yes, I would like very much to hear what you saw that night in Penn Station, New York. What an incredible coincidence. Please give me a call back and let me know where I can meet you, or I'll try you again later. Thanks. Bye-bye. Are you David? No, I'm not David, no, sorry. I'm supposed to meet somebody right here. ... Me too a guy named Richard Katz. What are you doing? Actually, this guy Richard Katz was... my dad died 26 years ago, and he was with my father in Penn Station, New York. - Is that right? - Yeah, and I don't know the story of what happened. So Richard Katz is coming to tell me. - Is that great? - I don't know if it's great. - It's something, anyway. - That's... yeah. - Yeah, I hope he shows up. - I hope he does. I hope my guy does. Is that... is that the guy you're supposed to meet? - No, maybe that's yours. - No, I don't think so. Are you Richard? - How you doing? - Hey, Richard. I'm Nathaniel. - Yeah, I figured it'd be you. - Nice to meet you. Right. Right. There was a policeman here and a policeman here, - and the dead man was here. - And where were you? I'm pretty sure that I was over here. So when you came in, were the policemen already there? No, no. I see this face of this guy, and he didn't look very well. Did you know he was dying? Was it clear to you that... I've never seen anybody die. So I don't think I would know that. I've seen one or two dead men, and they don't look like that. They look very peaceful. - He didn't look peaceful? - No. You remember that, that he didn't look peaceful? What was... what was the... I mean... He just didn't. - Scared? - What did he die of? - Heart attack. - He did? That's a real sad story that you didn't know your dad at all. I have a kid who's 18 years old, and I didn't get to see him from the time he was 8. So it's kind of a different story, isn't it? Or is that the same story? It's a different story, because... well, if I had died, I guess it would have been the same story, huh? Why hadn't you seen him for ten years? Oh, it was a custody case. - Did you want to keep him? - Sure. My kid. My son. I mean, I don't just feel sympathy for you. I feel sympathy for Lou. - Why? - 'Cause you were his son. A man has feelings for his son. I know there must have been some kind of social convention that somehow kept you apart. And I don't want to make excuses for that social convention. Whatever it was, out with it... I mean down with it. That's bad. Whatever it was, it was bad. It's just sad. How accidental our existences are, really, and how full of influence by circumstance. I wonder if I'll ever find out exactly what happened that night in Penn Station. For years, I thought maybe my father hadn't really died, that he was out there somewhere living a parallel life. I suppose that was because he left no physical evidence that he'd ever been in our house, not even a bow tie hanging in the closet. I remember my father's hands. Sometimes that's all I could see when he would sit on my bed and tell me stories about his childhood late at night. He said he was born on an island with a castle on it off the coast of Estonia in 1901 or 1902. He wasn't sure which. He came on a steamboat to Philadelphia with his family in 1906. They were very poor, but Lou was good at art and music. His drawings won prizes, and he made money playing piano in the silent movie houses. He told me Philadelphia was a city where a small boy could find what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. I went back to the neighborhood in north Philadelphia to find the places he always talked about. The whole family lived on the top floor of a tenement. And when a wealthy lady gave Lou a piano, there was no room left for his bed. So he slept on the piano. They couldn't afford pencils for him to draw with, but that was okay, because you could make charcoal by burning sticks in the backyard. The kids teased him and called him 'Scarface', so he waited until the last bell to go to school. There was a girl he loved named Ada, but she loved someone else. The next part of the story he didn't talk about much, so I have to rely on the architecture books. He won a scholarship to the University of Pennsylvania and graduated with a degree in architecture in 1924. In 1930, he married Esther Israeli, and their daughter, Sue Ann, was born ten years later. Esther worked in a medical lab and supported the family throughout the '30s and '40s as Lou struggled to get commissions and to find a style he could call his own. It was the era of the new modern architecture: sleek steel skyscrapers and houses defined by walls of glass. Lou tried to design that way, but it never felt right. In 1947, with Esther's help, he started his own office with several men and one woman. He was almost 50 years old and still hadn't found himself. I wanted to show you some sketches I made when I was... when I was in Rome. Then in 1951, he was invited to be architect in residence at the American Academy in Rome and to travel throughout the ancient world. What he saw changed his life. These are the sketches I made a long time ago in Egypt, you see. Timelessness, monumentality. That's what mattered. When Lou got back, he finally knew what he wanted to do: build modern buildings that had the feel and presence of ancient ruins. He'd also become deeply involved with the woman working in the office, a young architect named Anne Tyng. She's the mother of my half sister, Alex. Lou was not a domestic person. Let's face it. He never was. And... He lived, really, in the office, you know? He had his bench where he would take catnaps, and he even sent his laundry out from the office. I mean, he was really... and, of course, I know that he crossed his home address off on his... on his passport. That's why they had a hard time locating his... in letting people know that they found him dead in 30th Street Station. - Penn Station, New York. - Penn Station. My mother always said that Lou had crossed off the address because he planned to leave Esther and come marry her. I don't think he was capable of doing that. I mean, I'm sorry but I really can't see him doing something like that. I realized he was not about to do that. He always said that work was the most important thing, that you cannot depend on human relations, that, really, work is the only thing you can count on. Did you fall in love with him right away? Lou? - Sure, yeah. - Why? Well, he had tremendous charm. I mean, he was charismatic, and he was very accessible and very endearing to people. And when you got pregnant, were you surprised? Oh, yeah, it was a physical shock. But that didn't seem to change his idea of what he was going to do. And he just would say, "Well, you have to be philosophical about it." So, I mean, I could spend the rest of my life being philosophical, but there was not much point in that. You know, I had to do something. And if he's not going to do something about marrying me, it's time I moved on. But in spite of myself I... I mean, when I left him, I didn't... I didn't really want to. So... Next to arrive on track five is the scheduled Buffalo to Trenton. Looking at Anne on that platform, I kept thinking of my own mother. Neither one of them ever got married. They both live alone. They were both single mothers when being a single mother was a major scandal, and they both believed in my father completely. Anne left Philadelphia in 1953 and went to Rome for a year to have Alex in secret. Lou wrote many letters to her while she was away. "Dearest Annie, "last night, I dreamt about you. "I was in our office telephoning. "You walked in and mentioned to me "that you could wait no longer. "Your eyes somehow were black and flashing, "looking at me reprehensively. "Annie, Annie, I think of you always. "I miss so much our meetings together. "I hope nothing changes about our way of life." Well, of course, it would change. When Anne returned, she collaborated with Lou on a small community center and bathhouse in Trenton, New Jersey. It was Lou's first chance to fully apply his ideas about ancient architecture. Anne is 80 now and hasn't been back to Trenton in 40 years. Well, how do you go in? - I think we go right in there, I think. - Is this a door? - Looks like it's boarded up. - Was it not like that? No, this was never closed like this. Oh, there's a lock here. - Hello? - Hello? Is it open? Oh, hooray. Thank you. - Hi, I'm sorry about the holdup. - Thank you. - Let me get out of your way. - Thank you very much. Do you... do you know Anne Tyng? - No. Hi, Rob Frey. - Hi, nice to meet you. - An honor to meet you. - Anne was the... the architect with Lou on the project. - Unbelievable. - Wonderful. Wonderful. Okay. If it's okay if we just want to look around? Oh, absolutely. Gosh. - It's painted now, huh? - Terrible. I mean, it's just such a shame. "Dearest Annie, "I must build one of the great buildings of the time. "You must help me build this particular building. "I doubt if I can do it without you. "Just think how low architecture has gotten down. "We, Anne, you and I, are going to show them the way. "All my love, Lou." Do you think this building was very important for Lou? Well, he says so himself, you know, that the world discovered him when he built the Richards building, but he had discovered himself when he built that little concrete-block bathhouse in Trenton. So that... that says it, I think, right there how significant he felt it was. Do you think about him a lot now? Well, he's kind of there, you know? Don't need to think about him. - Part of you? - Well, he's there. He's there in you, he's in Alex, you know... He's in his buildings. And... And I think the ideas that you work on together connect you always somehow, you know? Lou split up with Anne when Alex was about three and then got involved with my mother a few years later in 1959. In spite of everything, Anne has always felt that we're all connected and that we are, in some strange way, a family. I wonder if Lou thought of it that way. Or was each relationship an entirely new beginning? The question is often asked, "Why isn't Lou Kahn "working directly in the work which the government is doing in the actual rebuilding of Philadelphia at this moment?" I see it still as being the most useful plan, yes, and the most expressive. It's the most expressive and the most useful. Uh, yes. Expressive. I repeatedly made the effort to involve Lou directly in our work in Philadelphia, but it's turned out that the special quality of his genius could not be brought together with the reality of the problem. I'd always heard that Ed Bacon was Lou's nemesis in Philadelphia. Bacon was in charge of rebuilding the entire downtown area in the '50s and '60s, and he hired Lou to come up with plans for how the job should be done. But something had gone very wrong. We started work, and I wanted to communicate to the stupid public in the most acerbic fashion I possibly could the essence of the idea. And Lou would say, "Wouldn't it be nice to put a curving stairway here? Or how about kind of a little tower here?" And suddenly, I realized that the purity of my communication was being encrusted by Lou's fantasies. So Lou didn't get it? Lou didn't understand what you wanted? He didn't understand it. He did not understand it. And so he was angry as could be angry. And he got nice ladies to give tease, where they would complain about me not using Lou Kahn for this purpose. By the way, there's not a single shred of any way in which Lou influenced downtown Philadelphia. Nothing, I know. Isn't that a tragedy? Well, I tell you one thing. It's... thank... would have been an incredible tragedy if they had built one single thing that Lou proposed for downtown Philadelphia. They were all brutal, totally insensitive, totally impractical. The whole idea of doing circular garages up on Vine Street... Yeah, but the idea of leaving the cars outside the city and then letting people walk into the city... - it was a great idea, don't you think? - No! It absolutely wasn't. It wouldn't have worked for a damn. So ultimately, isn't it just two strong men... two strong egos that don't get together? God damn it, no. It's an absolutely pure ignorance on Lou's part, and it's the same damn ignorance as the American Institute of Architects is based on now, that you have no responsibility to preparing the way for a system on the larger order, and you only do the little things that come along. So you simply have not understood a word I've said. Watch where you're going! Some of Lou's ideas were utopian and impractical, but this was the '60s. And like a lot of people then, he was questioning the way we live. Do we really want the skyline of every American city to look more or less the same? Why can't people leave their cars outside the city and walk instead? To express is to drive. And when you want to give something presence, you have to consult nature. And there is where design comes in. If you think of brick, for instance, you say to brick, "What do you want, brick?" And brick says to you, "I'd like an arch." And if you say to brick, "Look, arches are expensive, "and I can use a concrete lintel over you. "What do you think of that, brick?" Brick says, "I'd like an arch." And it's important, you see, that you honor the material which you use. You don't bandy it around as though you said, "Well, we have a lot of material around. We can do it one way; we can do it another." It's not true. You can only do it if you honor the brick and glorify the brick instead of just shortchanging it. I remember hearing him talk at Penn. And I came home, and I said to my father and mother, "I just met this man. "He doesn't have much work, and he's "sort of ugly... funny voice, "and he's a teacher at school. "I know you've never heard of him, "but just mark this day "that someday you will hear of him, "because he's really an amazing man." Tell me the story of Philadelphia. What was it that stopped Lou from building more there, from being more successful there? Because he spoke his truth. And he was not controllable, and he wouldn't have been controllable by the powers that be that really wanted control of the image of Philadelphia. They wanted to have Philadelphia bask in their image or be connected to it or get credit for it in some way. But really fundamentally why? It's all the obvious stuff. Blood was important in Philadelphia. And I think Lou's blood had a yellow armband. - Jewish? - Yes. I really think so. I think that was important, even though they might not even have known it was, maybe consciously, I felt it. I felt it. I felt it. Frustration and failure are really the things that make you. Maybe he was made by being short and ugly and Jewish and having a bad voice and not wanting to be good with people, or whatever. Maybe he was made by that, because it made him go internal. So you can't just say, "Oh, isn't it a shame he didn't build more buildings?" "Isn't it a shame he wasn't this or that person?" We're made by those things. I think he had trouble, because he was a mystic, and he wouldn't be able to talk the lingo of the business world. You know, architecture is so passionless in the modern movement. There was no sense of... I mean, it was all mechanical. And that's why the postmodern thing happened, because people couldn't handle it. It was just so cold and formless. And Lou was kind of the breath of fresh air in that, I mean, in America. And my first works came out of my reverence for him. Good night. When Lou's ideas about architecture finally caught on, he had ten years left to live. Maybe he knew time was running out. He never said no to a lecture invitation or a possible job, no matter how tired he was or how far he had to go. If they wanted him, he was there. One night when Lou came to visit, he made a little book with me: The Book of Crazy Boats. There was a boat made out of a spoon and one made out of a biscuit, and there was a sausage boat with toothpicks stuck in it to keep it upright in the water. At the time, I had no idea that he was going to build a crazy boat. It's a weird-looking thing. Yeah, we saw that coming in yesterday. "What the hell is that thing?" Yeah, it looks like sort of a, you know, Jules Verne thing. Lou built this boat out of steel. It's a music barge that motors up to small towns all over the world and opens up into a concert stage. It was commissioned by a man named Robert Boudreau, who is both the ship's captain and the orchestra conductor. I didn't tell him that I was Lou's son. - Hi. - Hi, Robert. Hi. - Nice to see you. - Hi, there. What are you up to? Put that damn thing down. - Yeah, how are you? - Hi, nice to meet you. - Quite a boat you have here. - Thanks. This is that symphony boat to that cruiser in front of us. I think it might be a good idea if you just moved out until we went in to dock and then came back in. So, Robert, this boat is very futuristic. Oh, yeah, people say this thing's from Mars, you know? You know, I love this boat. This is my boat, I created it, with Lou. - So you loved him? - Oh, yeah. That's a Louie Kahn doorway for sure, isn't it? You don't get 'em any better than that. Isn't that amazing? Well, take a look. Take a look over there. They're having all this light come right through that. Do you have to go now? Can you come back, or no? - No, no, I'm going to go. - Okay, well, did you know why I came to see you today? Well, I'm making a film about Lou. - Well, I knew that. - You knew that. - I knew that. - But... I'm Lou's son. God. I saw you when you were six years old. I saw you at the wake. I saw you with your mother. You remember that day? What a crazy world. You are Lou. Have a nice concert. - Where's Nathaniel? - Why'd you get so upset? Gosh, you love a man... and I knew Lou had a son, and I was told never to tell that Lou had a son. I don't know. Lou was... didn't talk about his family much, except about his daughter. He didn't talk about that. Men don't talk about those things. That was his, that was his very personal thing. We all have those personal things. Thanks. "Dear Harriet, I keep thinking "how your sweet words have helped me "during these trying days of advice and criticism. "What will happen is all I still don't know... "I mean, the hatred of your brothers, "Abbot and Willie. "My only hope is that the beauty of new love "will in some way make them understand. "Now over me is a heaviness of quiet and incompleteness, "and I'm still very discouraged by the feeling of ineptness. "Lou." Well, we were soul mates, I would say, and inspired each other so that it was an equal exchange in many ways. And I was a critic. I do think that I brought the sense of nature and another sight to Lou's work. Where did you work in the office? I worked in a room, and sometimes it was locked. Why? Well, because of his wife, who would come in, drop by sometimes. Sounds fairly... fairly nerve-wracking. It was nerve-wracking. It was humiliating in some ways. When the buildings were created and finished and... for example, the Kimbell Museum. Everyone went out to the opening, but I was not invited. I was not allowed to come. Is it partly because you were a woman or that you were involved with him? Yes, I think all of those things, yeah. Didn't you ever say to him, "Well, why don't you respect me more? "Why don't you include me in these things "or make me a part of your"... Well, you see, I felt so... so happy and delighted to work on things. I mean, to work on something like this was just... was just thrilling. And when... when we were working on projects, we were just completely absorbed with the ideas. And... and... and there was just great freedom and love of what we were doing. And so that was the price that I paid. It was worth it, you know? My parents met by chance at a party in Philadelphia. My mother was 32, and Lou was almost 60. Her family was appalled by the relationship. And when she got pregnant, she decided to disappear for a while. She went to stay with her friends, Charles and Susannah Jones. They offered to adopt me if she had to give me up. I was amazed to see this little man that she was so taken with. And I didn't quite get his number, I have to say. I mean, he turned on the charm. And I was sort of a Yankee, and it didn't rub off. I mean, I didn't get it. And then it revolved that she was pregnant and that her family really resented that and... - didn't accept... - No, they didn't. They didn't accept that. And time went by, and I said to Charles, "You know, what's she going to do? "She hasn't made arrangements, "and the family isn't coming through. "They're making it difficult. "I really think we should do something." And there was one sister, Edwina, who did stand by her and said, "You know what I can do? "I can provide a man to stand up with you "and get married and give a name to that child, "and then you just can get divorced two weeks later." And Charles and I said, "No way. "We don't want to have anything to do with that. "That's such a travesty of marriage. "Just go ahead with it and have this baby. "It's going to be all right. "Let him keep his name if you want, "or have him take your name. Don't worry about that." And I also have to say that you had to recognize it right at the beginning from Harriet's point of view as a very true love, an immense love... and that it would be a lifelong love, which I think it has been. And you can't judge that, because that kind of love is on the side of life and is a good thing. My uncles, Abbot and Willie, never bought that romantic love affair idea. They hated my father and refused to ever even mention his name. Maybe if he'd married my mother, it would have been different. But even as her husband, Lou would not exactly have been their idea of an Episcopalian gentleman. My mothers' sisters, however, would talk with me about him. Did the family feel that she needed to get away from... from everybody for a while? I don't think our family had anything to do with it. I mean, I think it was your father who determined that Harriet should go. - Ask her sometime. - Really? But she... but you didn't think she should come to the vineyard with you to live? I couldn't at the time. I wasn't in a position to have her. And she didn't want to come to New York with me, 'cause I told her that she could come to New York with me. And she chose not to, which was fine. I don't... And Abbot came to me, and he said, "I think she should have an abortion". I said abs... I said no. I'm glad she did because you're here, Nathaniel. I said, "It's... it's none of our business. That's for Harriet to determine." I said, "I will not go along with that." And I didn't. Oh, he was furious. - Uncle Abbot? - Yeah. There is a certain romanticism in your mother that... Drives me up a wall. All of us, because there's a lack of realism. - She's so impractical. - So impractical. - But she does... - Drive me wild. But even at the time of settling, mother's estate mother's attorney was shocked to learn that Nathaniel was a bastard... "Dear Lou, I never wrote you a letter before, did I? "I've been thinking about all those summers "you promised to come to Maine and then didn't show up. "At the time, I thought it was just because of your work. "But obviously, there were other reasons. "Did you ever really have any intention of coming, "or did you just say you would to get my mother off the phone? "Because we waited for you... "and waited and waited and waited." Well, howdy there. This is Classic Country, Dallas-Fort Worth, with a daily tidbit. Construction is well underway on the Kimbell Art Museum in the heart of the cultural district. It looks a little bit like a cement cattle barn to me, but they say the inside is going to be gorgeous, lit entirely by our Texas sun. Well, good luck. Well, let's get back to music right now. One of our favorite stars: Hank Williams. And he arrives kind of unannounced on the job and with these plans, these sketches showing how he wanted something. Then I said, "Is this... what are these, Mr. Kahn?" He says, "Well, this is how I want you to do that detailing." And I tore 'em up and threw 'em in the trash can, and I says, "Too late, sorry. We're too late." You know, he'd get an idea, kind of like a wife, he'd get an idea and... it may have been a good idea yesterday, but it was too late today. We would spend hours deciding whether we were going to use a hex head cap nut screw or a Phillips head or a socket pit or whatever, you know? You'd ask Lou a question, and you'd get a lecture. You never would get an answer. You'd get a dissertation on the philosophy behind the thought. He was just an artist, you know? And most artists don't have any discipline. They just keep on going. - Like the Energizer bunny. - Yeah. He just keeps beating that drum. What was that? Just like the Energizer bunny, you know, on television. He just keeps beating that drum till the battery runs out. To have approval on a new element is... is a great feeling. It's because it isn't just a copy of what has been thought to be what's necessary and what is accepted. It... it feels as though you're an architect. A work of art is not a living thing as... that walks or runs; but the making of a life, that which gives you a reaction. To some, it is the wonder of man's fingers. To some, it is the wonder of the mind. To some, it is the wonder of technique. And to some, it is how real it is; to some how transcendent it is. Like the 5th Symphony, it presents itself with a feeling that you know it if you've heard it once. And you look for it. Though you know it, you must hear it again. Though you know it, you must see it again. Truly, a work of art is one that tells us that nature cannot make what man can make. Don't put him up on some gigantic pedestal up there. He was in the trenches. The stories would come out of his office... it would be guys would have their wives in final moments of labor, and he wouldn't let them go home or take them to the hospital 'cause they were working on a project, you know? And he didn't know day from night. You know, and he had no kind of... I mean, I think that most architects who are intensely involved in their practice have this problem, but I think he had a really big problem. And I think he was very unhappy about not being selected - for the John F. Kennedy library. - Sure. I mean, you can just see Jackie going into I. M. Pei's office on Madison Avenue, or wherever it was in New York, and there would be flowers lining the corridor. And, you know, you'd go to Lou's office, and there'd be an old pastrami sandwich sitting on somebody's desk. I mean, don't think that he was always trying to be a prince. He was very much trying to be a player. He wanted work. He wanted recognition. He wanted... Doesn't every architect want? I can't speak for every architect, no. I don't know. I think most architects who are... he was success oriented. At the time of his death, Lou was $1/2 million in debt. Here he is chatting with some prospective clients as if he has all the time in the world. And in the meantime, he must know he's going bankrupt. The office lost money on every project, except the Salk Institute. And the list of jobs that fell through, and didn't get built, kept getting longer and longer: the Dominican Sisters Convent, the U.S. Consulate in Luanda, Angola, the City Tower project, the Pocono Arts Center with seating for 9,000, the Fleischer House, the Morris House, the house for cheerful living, the Baltimore Inner Harbor Development Project, the Kansas City Office Tower, the Roosevelt Memorial in New York City, the Palazzo dei Congressi in Venice, the Abbas Abad development in Tehran, Iran, and two that must have really hurt: the Mikveh Israel Synagogue in Philadelphia; and in Jerusalem, the Hurva Synagogue, a building that would have shared the spotlight with the great monuments of the holy city. That was the commission of a lifetime. There is a flight at 1:00 at night, in the morning. Yeah, in the morning. So I don't think we'll finish, you see. I don't either. When I arrived in Jerusalem, I found myself surrounded by pilgrims. Everybody comes here looking for something, so I fit right in. The synagogue Lou was commissioned to build would have overlooked the mosque known as the Dome of the Rock and the Wailing Wall. My father never talked to me about being Jewish. I don't know how he felt about it. But when he stood here looking at the remnants of the temple of his ancestors, he must have felt a connection. It was impossible not to, even for a half-breed like me. Thank you. Saulie cannot come in by himself. When was the first time you met Lou? - Do you remember? - Can I offer you one? I'd love one. Is this satisfactory? Teddy Kollek is the legendary former mayor of Jerusalem. He and Lou worked together on the synagogue project for seven years. Look, first of all, I'm 90 years old. And my memory has gone altogether. I remember single items but not... you came a little too late for me on that. What was it that made it not possible to build it? Ruthie? 'Cause unfortunately he died so soon. No, you had nobody... you had nobody who dared to take the plans of your father - and to complete them. - No, that's right, His death stopped it in the middle, although we didn't have the funds yet to do it. But I'm sure we could get the money needed. But unfortunately, he died before he completed it. Now it's a million times more difficult to create it, because the whole idea of the Hurva was to serve the entire city and to be a cultural and spiritual center. And to do that today in the Jewish Quarter - will be very, very difficult. - Why? Because, uh, the... Because the Jews are quarreling. Jews are quarreling and... Why is that, Teddy, because... The Jews are quarreling. People around thought it was too big and politically it was trying to compete with the mosque, and... Was that... is that wrong? That... some people thought it's it'd create a political problem with the Muslim, and... We decided it shouldn't be higher than the mosque. - That was the idea. - That was the decision. But he redesigned it and I think... He did redesign; there was... The two... there were three schemes in all. He had a lot more freedom to decide without any interference from the public at the time. I mean, I still hope we'll be able to do it one day. So they... who blew it up? The Jordanians blew it up? - Yes, in '48. - In '48? And it was never... it was never rebuilt? It was just left this way? Yes, they thought about it, but they decided they are going to keep it that way. What do you think? - They should keep it that way. - Keep it this way? Not... not rebuild it. Why? Because it's something in our past, in our history. And we have to remember this. Many soldiers died in this war. - So better to leave it? - Yeah. - Thank you. - Thanks. - Bye. - Bye. Actually, Lou agreed with the soldier. The ruins should be left as a monument. He wanted to build the new synagogue in the adjacent plaza instead. So much has changed since then. Would he have designed the same thing now? Would they have thought Lou an idealistic dreamer for wanting to unite the Jews of the world with a single building? Do you think Lou had a strong sense of being Jewish and what that meant? You know, I think it's been overplayed. Lou was a very spiritual person, but I don't think that was rooted necessarily in Judaism. I think it was as much rooted in Christianity and in Buddhism and in all kinds of myth that he knew a lot about. And he felt just at home doing a mosque in Dhaka as he was doing the Hurva. But I think that when he came here something happened. Mikveh Israel didn't get built. He must have been bitter about that. You know, he must have been aware that as a Jewish architect he'd done no great Jewish buildings. Philadelphia had Frank Lloyd Wright's synagogue, or temple. And I think when he came here, he felt that the Jews entrusted him to do this. And I think he wanted very much to have it realized. But, you know, he was a real nomad. And, you know, when I was in the office, he would come in from a trip, and he would be in the office for two or three days intensely. And he would pack up and go. And there was this kind of sense of the nomad in him. I mean, you know, as tragic as his death was in a railway station, it was so consistent with his life. You know, I mean, I often think I'm going to die in a plane or I'm going to die in an airport or, you know, die jogging without an identification on me. I don't know why I sort of carry that from that memory of his, the way he died. But he was sort of a nomad at heart. I remember now that Lou had a little carpet in the office that he'd roll out in the floor and sleep on when he was too tired to keep working. Maybe he never felt settled anywhere. He was a wanderer from the beginning. His family moved 17 times in their first two years in America. And it turns out Kahn wasn't even his real name. It was Shmalowsky. His father changed it in 1915. The only constant in Lou's life, was his wife Esther. They were together from when he was 28 until he died. I don't know if he thought of her house as home, but it was certainly his base. I used to say to Lou, "You know, Lou, if you would put some of your energy into making money, you'd be a billionaire." Money was something that was there. He would... he kept saying... and unfortunately, my daughter, who's also an artist, says the same thing. "But, Mother, it's only money." And he owned nothing. He owned nothing. He didn't believe in owning anything. Books and neckties. Other than that, nothing. He would not own... I only saw Esther once. It was at Lou's funeral. She looked right through me. Unfortunately, she died before I could talk to her, so I have only this interview she did with an architecture scholar. In the terrible depression, when friends would come over, we couldn't afford to go anywhere. We would put a magazine up on the piano, and friends would stand around and say, "Oh, Lou, play that like Bach, or play it like Mozart, or play it like Beethoven, or play it in jazz." And he would do that. We would sing the notes in this magazine. And shortly before he died, he said to me, "You know, Esther, "I don't think I would have been a great pianist, but I might have been a great composer." There's a house Lou built outside Philadelphia. I called up my half sisters and got them to meet me there. All these years, we've never talked about our three families. I always used to ask him, "Why don't you design a house for us, Daddy?" Right, right. And once, he explained to me that he had this idea of a house with many, many mullions. And you'd look through those windows, and you'd see a woman preparing a meal. It was a very romantic idea of what home was. And he could never build it for himself. I think his vision was just so different from the way his personal life really was that there was no way he could... Take the two and put them together at all. I had a scrapbook when I was a teenager, so I would get little... like I'd save every card, every little thing, you know? No, really, when he... Oh, these things are two of his famous bow ties tied at the rakish angle very carefully. Fortunately, my mother saved some of his ties. Nice ties. Well, I heard you guys talking about when Lou died. Were you saying that that was when you first saw me? That's right that's when I first saw you. I came in with my mother, and I saw Harriet. And I saw a toe-head, blond hair, very nicely decked out youth of 11... 10, 11. And I figured that had to be you. And I don't remember... You were there with your mother, but I don't remember... I don't think we spoke. Well, my mother... this is what happened. Before the funeral, my mother was called by a friend of your mother's and told to not show up, because your mother had requested to not... she didn't want to see my mother at the funeral. I wonder if that's true. That's what we were told too. Oh, yes, she was called up and asked that that would... that she was carrying out the wishes of your mother, and... Oh, but you came anyway. But I... my mother was absolutely furious and hung up the phone. So I said, "Well, Mom, "what's the point of being furious? We're going anyway." The casket was there, and I remember being... some arms went in front of us, and we were pushed into the side room. You were very... I remember you being on the side, because I had to search for you. And I went deliberately to Harriet to say something, 'cause I-I had never met you, and I knew, whoever you are, you must be suffering in some way. And she just... I said, "Hello, Harriet." And she just stared straight ahead. And she didn't have anything to do with me. And I felt really bad about that, because I went up with the best of intentions to say, "Look, I'm not my mother," or... - You're not, you know? - You're not, yeah. I had nothing to do with that. And, you know, on the other hand, I hadn't really made contact with her since you were born. And I felt badly about that, but I knew I couldn't have handled it. But... I guess what I've always wondered is, are we a family? What are your expectations of what a family is? I don't know the answer. We're a family through choice. I mean, if we care about each other, it's because we decide to, not because we happen to be related through some fluke of a father that happened to have these children. Yeah. What were you thinking, Lou? I've been to most of your buildings now. India and Bangladesh will be the last. I like your Exeter Library. It looks a lot like the factory buildings you walked by as a little boy back in Philadelphia. But nobody expects what you did inside. I always believed that in the end you'd chosen my mother and me. That was the myth I lived on. But you didn't really choose any of us, did you? Did you think that Lou would marry you? Yes, and I didn't expect to get pregnant, and I was really surprised when I told Lou, and then his comment was, you know, "Not again." So I certainly thought when I told him that he would... that he would in some way do something to help me. "Not again" meaning what? Well, that this had happened to him before with Alex. - You know. - With Anne? Yeah, with Anne. Well, didn't you know what you were getting into? Oh, come on, Nathaniel. Well, I just... I mean, you know. You always protect him. That's hard, you know? I mean, he was... - I did trust him. I was pretty stupid. - You know mom, what he did to you and I - was... was pretty bad, really. - Yeah. Don't you think? I mean, honestly, are you ever angry at him? No. Really? You're not angry at him? Well, I did get angry sometimes, but not... but just... I just felt... I don't know. Kind of a tragedy that he didn't work it out, isn't it? You know, it seems almost too much he was on the way home to maybe come live with us. - Yes. - Who knows? - You still believe that? - I do believe it. Do you think he crossed off his passport on his way home to... to show something? Yes, to indicate... yes. Why else would he have done it? Why else would he have done that? Can you give me an explanation? It's a good myth to have. I don't think it's a myth. I don't think it's a myth at all. I mean, I have very strong conviction about that, because I know what... what Lou said to me, you know, when we... when we parted. What did he say? He said he would do it. I mean, he said... I said that I can't... I can't bear it any longer, and you have to... you have to do something, and you have to live with us. And he said he would. - Really? - Yeah. So... I mean, what do you think? You think it's a myth, Nathaniel? What's your explanation? Is it hard being alone, Mom, so much in your life? Yes. I always wondered why you didn't find someone else to share your life with you. Well, I'm kind of a romantic fatalist. Somebody comes along, you know, and I'm kind of a loner too. - Nathaniel? - Yeah. Come in. - What? - Lightning. I know. I'll come in. Do you miss him still? Sometimes. But not a great, great deal. You don't think about him as much as you used to? No. Is that shocking? Before taking off for India and Bangladesh, I finally went back into Lou's old office. As it turns out, one of the men who used to work for him has the place now. It was exciting times. I must say, it was exciting being here. I was... I can't say there were ever times when I was... I never quit because of anger. I never quit because of frustration. I quit because I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't work those hours anymore. But I felt he was always an honorable... thoroughly honorable guy, except for the way he treated the women in his life. And that was not honorable, but... Do you remember thinking about that? I mean, how the women took it? I did, because I was married, had a wife, two children. And I knew what that was like, and I knew... that's when I... that's when I finally quit. For the last time, I came home and... my Estelle was crying, and she said, "We never see you." And I said, "Oh, that's it. I can't... Can't do it anymore." But he just could juggle people's lives, and it didn't bother him. I don't understand it. I don't know how he could do it. I don't know how he had the mental strength for it. It would have... I would have had a breakdown. But he didn't. He was such a tough guy. He really was tough as hell, you know, I mean... - Mentally. - In what way? Well, how could he juggle three or four lives like that? Lou was very secretive. He liked to keep his business to himself. And he'd call and say, "You know where I am, but nobody else is to know where I am." And I'd say, "Okay," because they would call looking for him. - Who would call? - Esther would call Saturdays and Sundays, or Anne Tyng would call. She would get very frustrated. Anne, you know, lives two blocks from my home. I see. And Harriet too would call. Yes, and Harriet would call. - And so, what would you do? - I mean, he would be, like, MIA. And sometimes I didn't know where he was or what he was doing. But he'd just say, "I'm not in the office, "so tell them such and such, "or tell them you don't know where I am. So, you know, whatever. He would tell me what to do, and I just did it. So you... you remember, then, the day that Lou left for India the last time? Oh, yes, yes. You were here to see Lou off with your mother. Yeah. How did you know that? Well, I was in the office with you, because we couldn't push him out the door. I came to the office because I knew he wouldn't... he'd miss his plane. And he did the same thing. He changed his clothes in the room where the Xerox machine was and came walking out all disheveled and left money... foreign currency from another country... all over the place. And you and your mother literally had to push him into the taxicab. And once he got in the cab, then I could go home. My own memory of that night is somewhat different. He was working on the model for the Capital of Bangladesh. We left him at the office at around 10:00. He waved down to me from the top of the stairs. The last thing I saw of him was his hand. "Dearest boy o' mine, "the architecture seems like gingerbread bakery to us. "To the people of the East, it's an expression of delight. "I think of you always and with all my love. "Daddy. "P.S.: your father does not feel much like a conquering hero. "Someday I hope to be able to teach you to be a better man than I." My first day in India, I was chased by an insane monkey and contracted dysentery. I can't imagine how my father made this trip so many times, a 73-year-old man traveling alone. He spent most of his time here with an architect named Doshi. He's the one who invited Lou to come to Ahmedabad and build the Indian Institute of Management. On the day before he died, Lou toured the building and had his last dinner with Doshi and his family. It was March 16th, 1974. For us, Lou's visit was always a very exciting moment... great anxiety as well as anticipation of learning something more and appreciation. There are very few people you will find anywhere who will talk about matter in spiritual terms. Nothingness mattered to him. Silence mattered to him. The enigma of light mattered to him. So those... those are not normal parlance. Those are not normal discourses, but these were the ones which we liked, and he talked about it. And when somebody understands this, he cannot be an ordinary person. He has to be a highly cultivated soul whom we call guru. We call him a yogi. And that is why I think, for us, he was from here. I have a feeling that he was really reaching, you know, his higher level... just to reach recognition and understanding. In India, we always say that nobody dies. They go to the next world. It's a transition. The body dies. The soul doesn't die. The consciousness doesn't die. And Kahn had... Lou had reached that stage of super consciousness, where, for him, everything was alive, and everything was in the stage of transformation. And as I know that you were waiting for him to come back, he has not come back as yet. But he's there watching, blessing, and wishing. So I just feel that... you have to... If you go into silence, you will hear him. Definitely, you'll hear his voice. I am very, very sure. Doshi was right. For a moment, I felt the way I did as a kid, that maybe he just disappeared and that I'd see him again. If he was anywhere, he'd be here. I just want to make my last remark in reverence to the work that has been done by architects of the past. What was, has always been. What is, has always been, and what will be has always been. Such is the nature of beginning. I'm making a documentary film about the building, - about the architect. - About the building? We are the morning walkers who come all the time here and enjoy the walking, scenic beauty, and atmosphere. And this is the nicest place of Bangladesh. - We are proud of it. - You're proud of it? Oh, yes. The nationality made upon this. Do you know anything about the architect? - Architect? - Mr. Lou Kahn. I've heard... I've heard about him. He's a top-ranking architect. Well, actually, I'm here because I'm the architect's son. He was my father. That Louie Farrakhan. No, not Louie Farrakhan. Louie Kahn. Louie Kahn. Yeah, you're the son of Kahn? Nice to meet you. Your father, is he alive? No, he's been dead for 25 years. We are very pleased to welcome you. The parliament building and capital complex took 23 years to build, the same as the Taj Mahal. It was all done by hand, thousands of workers carrying baskets of concrete on their heads, climbing up and down bamboo scaffolding. During Bangladesh's war for independence from Pakistan in 1971, the enemy pilots didn't bother bombing it, because they thought it was an ancient ruin. The complex was finally finished in 1983, nine years after Lou died in Penn Station. He never saw it finished, Bob. - He didn't? - No. He never saw this. Just taking pictures? Yeah, we've been here now for about five days, and... it's... - Five days? - Yeah. That's a lot of pictures, then. But do you think they'll really capture the quality of this building in terms of space, light, the volumes, and the layering of his spaces, those ambiguities? Well, I don't know, Mr. Wares. When you think about this film, I probably have at the most ten minutes. Oh, God, this is... this is... don't tell me that. - Ten minutes for this building? - Probably. I see; I think it's... I think it's... the whole thing is very... very useless, because you cannot treat this building like this. It was almost impossible, a building for a country like ours. In 30, 50 years back, it was nothing, only paddy fields. And since we invited him here, he felt that he has got a responsibility. He wanted to be Moses here. He gave us democracy. He is not a political man. But in disguise, he has given us the institution for democracy from where we can rise. And that weight is so relevant. He didn't care for how much money this country has or whether he will able to ever... ever finish this building. But somehow he has been able to do it, build it here. And this is the largest project he has, got, in here, the poorest country in the world. So I think... - It cost him his life. - Yeah. He paid. He paid his life for this, and that is why he is great, and we'll remember him. But he was also human. Now, his failure to satisfy the family life is an inevitable association of great people, but I think his son will understand this and will have no sense of grudge or a sense of being neglected, I think. He cared in a very different manner, but it takes a lot of time to understand that. In social aspect of his life, he was just like a child. He was not at all matured. He would not say no to anything. And that is why we got this building today. I have no other way to really understand him, but I think he has given us this building, and... We feel all the time for him. That's why he has given love for us. He could not probably give the right kind of love for you. But for us, he's given the people the right kind of love. That is important, and you have to understand that. He had an enormous amount of love. He loved everybody. To love everybody, he sometimes did not see the very closest ones. And that is inevitable for men of his stature. On this journey, my father became real to me... a man, not a myth. Now that I know him a little better, I miss him more than ever, and I really wish things had been different. But he chose the life that he wanted. It's hard to let go. But after all these years, I think I found the right time and place to say good-bye. # subs by Mook - spellchecked, fixed and lines added by lyliakar# [soft dramatic music] ? ? Copyright: 2004 Home Box Office, Inc. (Kahn) Louis I. Kahn, whose strong forms of brick and concrete influenced a architects and made him, in the opinion of most architecscholars, America's foremost living architect, died Sunday evening apparently of a heart attack in Pennsylvania Station. He was 73 years old. Besides his wife, Mr. Kahn leaves a daughter, Sue Ann. ? ? When I first read that obituary, I have to admit I was looking for my own name. I was his child too, his only son. I didn't know my father very well. He never married my mother, and he never lived with us. But I can still remember every detail of the few times we spent a whole day together. On this afternoon, we had a picnic. He painted with watercolors, and my mother snapped these pictures. He died when I was 11. [woman speaking indistinctly over intercom] The circumstances of his death have always fascinated me. He was bankrupt and alone on his way back home from India. He collapsed in the downstairs men's room in Penn Station, New York. The police couldn't identify him, because, for some unknown reason, he crossed out the address on his passport. They took him to the city morgue, where he lay unclaimed for three days. What was he thinking at the end? Had he seen anyone? Had he talked to anyone? Had he really decided to leave his wife and come and live with us like my mother said? [soft dramatic music] ? ? For years, I struggled to be satisfied with the little piece of my father's life I'd been allowed to see. But it wasn't enough. I needed to know him. I needed to find out who he really was, so I set out on a journey to see his buildings and to find whatever was left of him out there. It would take me to the other side of the world looking for the man who left me with so many questions. [violin music] ? ? My father had been dead 25 years, so there wasn't much time left if I wanted to meet any of his colleagues. I figured I'd start at the top: the guy with the glasses. ? ? [dog barking] [chuckles] Mr. Johnson. Good to meet you. Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you. You're Lou's son? Yes. Generations go by quickl y, don't they? I've just decided Lou was the most beloved architect of our time. Really? Yell, think of anybody else. Frank Lloyd Wright was too cantankerous to love. Mies van der Rohe wasn't you couldn't talk to him at all. Corbusier was mean. But Lou, now, there was a man. All my buildings don't add up to what his three or four buildings, because he, when he did get a client-- however he ever got any clients is a mystery, because artists don't get jobs. Every time I've tried to do art, I've ended up with a-- make much less. Nothing to be ashamed of, naturally. I do it the other way. I do it by numbers and-- and public fame and all that. But Lou did it by being an artist. He'd sit and work on art , see? And I always wished-- I think he did too; wished he knew me better, and I always wished I knew him better. (Kahn) Why? (Johnson) Well, you know, there's some things that don't go into words. It's animal attraction-- his mind, really, because his person-- to look at him wasn't much a pleasure. (Kahn) It wasn't? (Johnson) It couldn't be. See, he was so scarred. Funny, he never talked to me as directly as he should have. Who? Lou. He never came here, though? Didn't he ever come here? To the glass house? That's strange, cause I built it in'49. Possible. Possible. Do you think Lou would have liked this house? No. Why? rigid boxes, you know. He--he was his own artist. He was free compared to me. ? ? (Kahn) The first time I'''d gotte n a real sense of Lou's legacy was when I was a student up the road at Yale University. My father was only 5'6" but he cast a long shadow in New Haven. He built his first and last major buildings here: the Yale Art Gallery in 1953; and right across the street, the British Art Center, finished after his death. I used to wander around in those buildings on weekends. They were silent and mysterious, and I half expected Lou to just appear from around the next corner. There were rows of books about his work in the library. He hadn't built very many buildings, but apparently they had changed the course of architecture: the Salk Institute, the Kimbell Art Museum, the Exeter Library, the Capital of Bangladesh. My art history professor, Vincent Scully, had been a friend of Lou's , but he always talked about him like some long-dead ancient hero. It was unsettling. (Scully) From the very beginning, he was after symmetry, order, geometric clarity, primitive power, enormous weight-- as much as he could get, like this great monster that stands in the middle of this space. You know, as I said too, I think, before: enduring monuments. He wants his materials to kind of last, permanent work in the world. That's what he's after. You know, it was such a wonderful thing to be close to somebody who really was changing everything. (Kahn) You said at one point that he wanted to make everything right. (Scully) He wanted to make it perfect. Perfect. You know, in Jewish mysticism, which I know almost nothing about-- but God can only be known through His works, right? And since the messiah hasn't come yet, hmm, the works of any Jewish architect might be the works of God. And you take those pictures of Louie when he's looking into the light when he's enjoying silence like this, because it really is like that, as if he's in some way communicating with this fundamental thing, that God is in the work. So it has to be perfect, you see. It has to be perfect. It can't be impatient. It's timeless. I wanted to ask you. Do you think-- did anybody know that Lou had three families all at once? No, I didn't. As a matter of fact, for years, I didn't know Lou was married. Really? Yeah. That was part of his mystery. [soft piano music] (Kahn) My mother and I lived on the outskirts of Philadelphia at the end of a secluded road. Lou would visit every once in a while, mostly at night. We never knew quite when it would be. He'd call at the last minu te and say he was on his way. My mother would frantically whip up a five-course meal and have a martini in a frozen glass waiting for him. I got to stay up late, and Lou would tell me wonderful stories about India and elephants and tigers. [thunder crackling softly] In the middle of the night, we'd all bundle into the car and drive him back downtown. I'd lie in the backseat. We were all silent. When I asked my ldn't all live together, she explained that his wife wouldn't give him a divorce. Why didn't he just run away? We'd stop at the end of Clinton Street and let him out. He'd walk down the block and disappear into the dark house, his wife Her name was Esther. They had a daughter named Sue, who was 20 years older than me. When I was in first grade, I found out I had another half sister, Alex. Her mother was a lady named Anne. Then there was my mother and me. Lou was 61 when I was born. All three families lived within several miles of each other, but we never crossed paths until Lou's funeral. [bell tolling] [siren blaring] Do you remember this guy? (man #1) Hell of a man. Sure,I remember him. Did he ever ride in your cab? [chuckles] 20, 40 times. Who knows? He was a cab rider, strictly cab rider. Yeah, he didn't drive? Never. He used to sit in front. He sat in front? Oh, yeah. Really? Yeah. That was your dad, world-famous architect. Yeah, that was your father. Do you remember him at all? (man #2) A little bit, vaguely. Did he ever ride in your cab? Vaguely. He loved the women. Not the young ones, but he loved the women. -- Do you remember what he looked like or (man #1) His face was pointed. Yeah, and his hair was-- his hair was, you know, very thin, like a blond. Like a what? (man #1) Like it was blond. h. Oh, blond, uh-hu Yeah. Do you remember that he had scars on his face? Oh, sure. It would look like he was burned. Mm-hmm. Yeah. This is where your father had his office, right there, where it says tickets, upstairs. That's 1501. That's where he was, right here. [truck roars by] (Kahn) The office at 1501 Walnut Street was the last place I saw my father. My mother would bring me here sometimes after hours and on weekends. Lou would lean out the top floor window and toss down a key wrapped in yellow tracing paper to let us in. [phone ringing] (Louis Kahn) When I went to high school, I had a teacher in the arts who was head of the department, Central High: William Gray. I am no longer amused. You will die together. Give my regards to King Tut, asshole. How much time do we have left? - 45 seconds. He's leaving. Turn it off. - I can't disarm it. - What? They've got it rigged. I got an idea. I always knew you'd get us back. - Yeah, right. - Later. Thanks, Daniel. You sure you wanna do this? I'm sure. You gonna be all right? I'll be all right. And you? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Tell Catherine it brought me luck. I will. I'll be seein' you around, Dr. Jackson I'm telling you, the government has a car that runs on water, man. They just don't want us to know, because then we'd buy all the water. Then there'd be nothing left to drink but beer. And the government knows that beer... will set us free. Hyde, you told us about the car a million times. Can we please talk about how hungry and horny I am? I wish I had a lady made of pizza. Or a pizza made of boobs! Yeah, hungry, check. Horny, check. It's getting a little old, Fez. God, I feel like I'm Luke Skywalker, you know? Remember when he was living on Tatooine before R2 and 3PO showed up? Just workin' on Uncle Owen's water farm all day. Not even allowed to go into Toshie Station to pick up some power converters. Boring. Eric, enough with the Star Wars crap! Whenever you talk about that stuff, I frown. And when I frown, my skin wrinkles. And if I get wrinkles, my free ride is over. And I like my free ride! Yeah, we get it. You're good looking. Look, doesn't anybody have anything new to say? So there's this car that runs on water, man. It runs on water, man! Okay, Nina, I brought you the special. One small soda, one medium popcorn... and one large Fez, dark and sweet. Fez, you know I've had a lot of fun hanging out with you. Hey, 37 times of fun, to be exact. It would've been 38, but you know- And then again, I apologize. Now enjoy your meal. If you need me, I'll be smelling your neck. Fe-Fez, I'm starting to feel like I need some space. But I want you to know it's not you, it's me. Okay. Well, I guess tonight I'll be doing number 12,377 of the other thing. That's sort of gross. Hey, it may be gross, but that's the way I learned how to count. ## [Rock Group Singing] ## [Ends] [Man Shouts Greeting] Six Million Dollar Man. That's like a $20 jumpsuit and a $4 haircut. Mmm. Where did all the money go? I think we've seen this episode. Yeah. And we were sitting in these exact same seats when we saw it. Actually, you were sitting over there. I remember, 'cause I could see up your skirt. You guys, we do the exact same thing every day. TV, snack, nap. It's- You know what? This isn't a basement. This is a nursing home. I know something new we could do. Jackie, Donna, get naked. The rest of you guys back off and give us some room. - Hello, friends of Fez. - Hi. Where's Nina? She don't wanna hang out with me tonight. She said she needed space. - [All] Ooh! - Uh-oh. That's the same sound you guys made when I told you I was gonna grow my bangs out. Fez, when a girl says she needs space, that means that she's dumping you. You don't understand. She said it was her and not me. - [All] Oh! - That ain't good. - Oh, what's the big deal? - Oh, man, I can't tell him. This is a job for someone who's cold, heartless and just inhuman. Jackie, go for it. Fez, when a girl says, "It's not you, it's me"... what she really means is it's you. - So I have really been dumped. - [Hyde] Yep. And here's another tip. When a girl says she just wants to be friends... it means she wants you to do stuff for her, but she's not gonna put out. So, you know, heads-up on that one. Yep. Women'll screw you over every chance they get. That and breast-feeding. It just comes natural to 'em. So, Hadji's girlfriend finally came to her senses. What happened? She didn't wanna be a fifth wife? [Laughing] - Hadji. - All right. Well, it's her loss. The girls in my Friday night cribbage game... will be thrilled to have Fez back at the table. You know what? At least Fez has a social life. Look at us. We're hanging out with my parents. Yeah, about that. Feel free to get the hell out. Well, we can do better than this. You guys, we're gonna graduate in two months... and there is a whole town out there just waiting for us. We just have to, you know, grab the bull by the horns. Okay, but I tell you this from experience. If we're gonna mess with the bull, we better have an escape plan. Well, what are the popular kids doing tonight? Well, I'll bet they're not hanging around with their parents... giving them snarky looks. I remember when the Brady kids got bored... and then that fat kid Oliver showed up. [Chuckles] It just all turned around. They got in a pie fight and everything. You know what? Kelso might actually be onto something. Maybe we should look for someone new to hang out with. All right! We're gettin' a fat kid! You know, instead of adding someone... maybe you should think about weeding out a few. Like you and you and... you. - I'm your son. - I can't play favorites. You know, if you're looking for a new friend, how about Lance Crawford? He's such a nice boy. Mom, Lance Crawford and I hate each other. You're just obsessed with getting his mother's peach cobbler recipe. Well, what kind of a woman keeps a recipe a secret? If that recipe were the polio vaccine, we'd all be in wheelchairs! I don't like Lance Crawford. He's always staring at me in this really creepy way. And this one time, I saw him fiddling around in my locker. When I opened it, there was a rose inside, and my gym socks were missing. Donna, a little advice. You're not gonna want those socks back. I can't think of anyone new I wanna hang out with. All the girls I know are either too snobby or too slutty. Yeah, I'm not good with the snobs, but slutty's my bread and butter. You know, what we need are people with stuff to offer, like Mark Herman. He's got that dirt bike. I always liked him. - Sold it last week. - That punk. He's out. Hey, Carrie Gerber has a trampoline. Carrie Gerber also has a big, hairy mole. I don't wanna be bouncing around and get tangled up in that. Eric. Eric. Honey, there's someone here to see you. Mom, if it's another one of Dad's Marine Corps recruiters, I'm gonna run away. I swear. Lance Crawford? Mom! Hello, Eric. Your father and I were just discussing... how unrealistically space travel is portrayed in Star Wars. It was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. - You either buy it or you don't. - What a lively conversation. [Laughing] - I'll get some sodas. - No, please. Allow me. Why don't you stay here and chat with Mr. Unrealistic Space Travel. Yes, I'd love to explain the practical impossibility... of the so-called light saber. You son of a bi- Red alert, you guys. Red alert! Lance Crawford is in the building! - I'm gettin' the hell outta here! - [Jackie] Wait, wait, wait. - What if he sees us sneaking out? - Oh, Donna... leave one of your socks behind. [Groans] What? It'll distract him. Nina, I thought we were so happy together. What happened? Fez, right now I'm at a point in- Oh, cut the crap, heartbreaker. I want the truth! Okay, the truth is you're too needy. Too needy? I'm sorry, but a man in his sexual prime has needs. And you are lucky to have such a stallion at your disposal. No, your needs are fine. It's your neediness that's the problem. - Then why didn't you say that? - I didn't want you to make a scene. You didn't want me to make a scene? You didn't want me to make a scene? Ha! You dump Fez! I dump fries! There's your scene! Here's a dollar. Sorry about the scene. Oh, poor Fez. Too depressed to leave his room. - That's it. You guys, we gotta cheer him up. - Knock first. If Fez is alone, I'm guessing he's not wearing pants. Oh, awesome! Wait. Let's catch him. - Oh, wow. - Wow! Check out all this great stuff. Oh, my God. Is that a race-car bed? - I call shotgun! - Ay! Oh! Fezzie, come on out. I can't. I'm not wearing pants. Told you! Nina told me why she dumped me. She said I was too needy. Am I too needy? Tell me! I need to know! Fez, I'm sorry, man. You're the definition of needy. Remember, one time, you called me at 3:00 in the morning... just to make sure we were still friends? Look, if you wanna get Nina back, you gotta act like you don't care. - But I don't know how to do that. - Well, we can help you. Oh! We'll rebuild you like the Six Million Dollar Man! Fez One to Control. We have liftoff. All systems are go. Proceed to eat candy. - [Klaxon Blaring] - Uh-oh. Emergency! Emergency! We are breaking up. I repeat, Nina and I are breaking up. [Kelso's Voice] Fez, a teenager, a boy with needs. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. [Hyde's Voice] We can make him more appealing to Nina by making him less needy. [Grunting] We can make him cooler, suaver, aloofer. "Aloofer"? Is that even a word? We can make it one. We have the technology. [Scoffs] - Initiate female reaction sequence. - Release the girls. Hey, Fez, looking good. Love the outfit. Totally bionic. You mean nothing to me. Oh, no. He's no longer needy. And because of that, I want him even more. [All] Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. - Terrific job. - [All] Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. - Whoa. Doctor. - Whoa. Doctor. Oh, I see. In order to get Nina... I have to act like I don't need her. Well, fine. I don't need Nina. I don't need women. - I don't need anything! - [All] Oh! Eric sure is taking an awfully long time with those sodas. [Laughing] I'm sure it's no reflection on you, Lance. He probably just wants to make sure a good friend like you... gets the freshest soda available. I know Eric doesn't like me, Mrs. Forman. I only came over for the chance to see my beautiful Donna. And after I make my fortune in robots... I'm gonna come back to this Podunk town and buy whatever flour mill Eric is working at... fire him, and make Donna my wife. You're a creepy kid. You know that? Mrs. Forman, I think we both know the real reason you invited me over here. You're after Mother's coveted peach cobbler recipe, no? Your mom makes peach cobbler? I had no idea. Please, let's speak frankly. I have something you want, and you have something I want. W-We're not in a- in a position to just give you Donna. We could give you Eric. Mother tasted your stuffing at the Thanksgiving Turkey Trot... and ever since then she's wanted the recipe. I've been instructed to arrange a swap. Don't you have any weird friends to play with? Friends are for the weak. Okay, you guys. MeetJulie. She's got two horses, a brand-new Firebird... and her dad works for Six Flags! [All] Hello, Julie! Hey, Hyde. Love your hair. You can touch it if you want. Oh, get lost, skankoid. We're all full. Damn, Jackie! She's got a Firebird and two horses! We could've raced 'em! All right. That's it. I'm gonna go askJake Bradley. I know. We've all been thinking it, but no one's had the guts to ask him... 'cause he's the quarterback, and we're a bunch of jelly heads. But you know what I say? I say we shoot for the stars. And that star is Jake Bradley! Jake Bradley! All right, Fez. There's Nina. Now remember, you're a new man. You don't need her or anything else. - Got it. I am cooler, suaver, aloofer. - There you go. - Oh, hi, Fez. - Oh, you wish, baby. Why don't you take your "Hi, Fez" act and try it on someone else? 'Cause I don't need it. - Nice work, Fez. - Shut up. I don't need your accolades. How can you give away your stuffing recipe, Kitty? It's the one thing that we have that's better than everyone else's. Our house? Crappier. Our son? Crappier. Our stuffing? Better! [Groans] Okay, Lance. Here you go. Excellent. Mother will be most pleased. Oh, you be sure to say hi. Such a nice lady. Please, Mrs. Forman, there's no need to keep up the charade. Fine. She's cold. Get out. I just want you to know that I don't need these fries. I choose to eat them because I desire their salty taste. Please, just take the fries. You need me to take them, don't you? Needy bastard. Hi, Fez. Can I talk to you? Oh, you need permission, do you? I think I was a little too hasty breaking up with you. - Really? - Yes. I like the new Fez. - What about the old Fez? - Not so much. You know what, Nina? There's only one Fez... and that is a Fez with needs. And if you don't like that, then we shouldn't be together. - But, Fez, I- - Shh! Sorry, baby. It's over. Oh, and, Nina, it's not me, it's you. Ladies ofthe Hub... why do we try to act like we have no needs? I have needs. For instance, I need a date for Saturday night. Any takers? You, blondie. You there, with the glasses. What about the redhead trying to cover her face? 12,378, here I come. Hey. So I went to see Jake Bradley- You mean- [Imitating Eric] Jake Bradley? Yes. To see if he wanted to hang out. And you know what Mr. Cool Guy was doing? Just hanging out in his basement with his friends... and they were watching The Six Million Dollar Man. It was eerie. Was there a skinny guy dating this really hot chick... who's way out of his league? You know, there was. Wait. Does this mean we're not gettin' a fat kid to play with? No, man. We don't need anyone else. You know what? We've only got two months until graduation... and we can't waste a second of that. Forman's right. Let's seize the day, man. Hey, weren't we supposed to seize something, man? You know what the Six Million Dollar Man should have? A bionic nose. You could smell everything! Guys, all I know is that we should really appreciate this... 'cause I don't think we're gonna be able to do this in college. This peach cobbler is amazing! Now, who would leave a whole pan of peach cobbler just sitting on a counter? See? We don't need anyone else. We have lots of interesting things to say. Right? Hey, there's this car that runs on water. It runs on water, man! - [Laughing] - [Imitating Engine Revving] Careful. I know it looks like a race car, but it's really a bed. Please don't make a mess. The maid doesn't come until Thursday. Watch it! That is a present from my cousin in Hong Kong. Who has been dropping Milk Duds on my carpet? Who has been dropping Milk Duds on my carpet? Screw this. I'm going to Eric's. [Jackie Yells, Laughs] On Top Gear: The driving god does a track day. A foie gras car with a luncheon meat badge. And we try to set a new land speed record. Hello! And we start tonight with some good news because I've finally found an advantage to being over 40. Yes, hair sprouts out of your ears and yes, hangovers last a fortnight, but all you youngsters - the only chance you get to drive a Subaru Impreza and a Mitsubishi Evo VIII is on your PlayStations. Whereas me, with my wise shoulders and my hairy ears, I'm allowed by the insurance companies to take them to the best driving country in the world. Scotland. These cars were born in the rough and tumble he-man world of rallying. With their turbo-charged engines and their four-wheel drive systems, they grip and they go and they stop so ferociously that you're just left breathless. In the real world with bumps and hedges, Iow-nosed, wide-bottomed Ferraris and Porsches couldn't hope to keep up with either of them. They are astonishing. And yet they're both relatively inexpensive Japanese saloon cars. They've both got four doors, they've both got big boots, they're both as reliable as a Swiss bus driver's Austrian pacemaker. What more could you possibly want? Let's deal with the Subaru first. The old model - the one with the silly headlamps - was a softy. The new one has a more attractive face but don't be fooled. The steering is quicker and the suspension is tougher. They've made it harder, edgier, less of a car, more of a bar room brawler. It's a different story with the Mitsubishi Evo VIII. The old Evo VII was like a Mafia hit man - without the compassion. At first glance it seems they've made the Evo VIII more hard-core. It's lighter and its gearbox has six speeds rather than five. In actual fact though, they've made it softer and quieter. They've even given it a fuel tank. The old one had a zippo in the back. You'd go four inches, then run out of petrol. So the Subaru's been beefed up and the Mitsubishi's been watered down. It seems then that these two cars have met in the middle. And that means I have to go out there into the bigness of Scotland and find out which one's best. Sometimes you know, this job is very, VERY good. Nothing prepares you for the shock when you first take this thing round the corner. Take a test drive. You will not believe how much grip there is. You just won't. This Subaru is a hugely manly experience. The noise it makes, it's got a macho gearbox, macho steering. It even smells of man - the essence of burnt clutch. Splash it on all over before going out for a curry and a fight. The Mitsubishi is much more technical. It's got an Active Centre Differential which moves the power to the front or the back wheels depending on which has more grip. I just have to tell it whether I'm on Tarmac, gravel or snow. Then it's got a Super Active Yaw Control which moves the power from side to side. Sometimes then, in a big corner, when you're really hammering, this car is one-wheel drive. So I can sum them up like this. The Mitsubishi is like an F16 fighter - light and highly manoeuvrable. The Subaru is more like an F15. A fighter bomber. As far as power is concerned, both of them get close to 150mph and both do 0-60 in under five seconds. You can't split them on looks either. Inside both have wilfully flimsy interiors that are lifted only by the big seats and the buttons for spraying cold water on the intercoolers. On the outside the Subaru tries to lighten up with its jewellery but both cars really are shamelessly aggressive. Look at the scoop on this bonnet. And the Evo's got so many steroids it's growing out of its own body. These cars should be called the Mitsubishi Did You Spill My Pint? and the Subaru You, Outside Now! Trying to decide which is best is hard. They're both spoon-bendingly, hallucinogenically, law-breakingly mad and absurd. On a wide open road like this the nimbler Mitsubishi wins. But when things get narrow and bumpy, the Evo turns into a jet. On a difficult road like this the Impreza feels more planted. So, which would I buy? Ooh, I can't give you an answer now. I'm having far too much fun. So what did you discover after your overly long trip to Scotland? Nothing. It's impossible to choose. There's no tangible reason why you'd take one car over the other. What I will say is when we finished filming and I drove to the hotel I always found myself getting into the Subaru. I prefer the Impreza. No idea why. It's like I prefer dark to milk chocolate, I prefer Bedford to Bruce Forsyth. Right, let's see if we can find out if there's any real difference between them on our test track. Please say mushi mushi to Stig-San. So first up the Impreza STi. This is the tweet one, remember. And... Oh dear. An emotional Stig this week, round Chicago. This car does understeer so will that slow him down? It is looking good so far. Ooh. He is... He IS running wide there. Into the penultimate corner. Come on, Stig, keep it tight. There's loads of understeer and he goes round the finishing line! Now what about the Evo VIII? In the interests of fairness I should say this isn't the car Jeremy drove in Scotland. It's the 301bhp FQ version. Very tidy round Chicago. No trace of understeer as it smoothly powers through that hammer head. TYRES SCREECH Good Lord! Screaming at the follow-through, a second faster than the Subaru. Will it beat it? Over the finish line. I have the times here. The Impreza did it in one minute 30.1, which puts it there - faster than the Aston, just behind the Z8. And how much faster is that than the old model? Just under one and a half seconds. One and a half seconds faster? But get this, the Mitsubishi Evo VIII, one minute, 28.9. So that's... Can you reach? I can get that. Quicker than a Lamborghini Murcielago? A very fast car. So if you want to go round a track quickly take the Evo VIII. Which would you choose? Impreza. No idea why. None of these cars on our board find much favour among the Guardian set, let's say. Whenever I go to a dinner party the person next to me always says, "Please sit somewhere else". Then they say, "We've got a 70mph speed limit in this country. Why do we have such fast cars? " Well, the thing is you can drive these cars quickly. All of the country's race tracks - Silverstone, Brands Hatch, Scotland, all of them now run things called track days where you take your own car along and drive it as fast as you want. Bedford Autodrome - Palmer sport day. All over the country people are queuing up to come to these "run what you brung" track days. Because the whole point of a track day is to leave civilised roads - and let's be honest, civilised road behaviour - behind. Why do you do it? Because there are too many speed cameras around. And it's a way of venting your passion to drive fast because you can't in this country any more, and why the hell buy a car that'll do 155mph and not use it? It's easy to see why these "run what you brung" track days are booming. You don't need a race licence or join a race series. It's just you, your car and your helmet. A £2,000 Honda Prelude and this guy think's he's Jensen Button. I have never seen such an ordinary car take so much abuse. Thank you! What was your mission? To have fun. And drive the wheels off it. That takes serious effort. You have ruined it! They were new! I should've got some second-hand ones. Running an old knacker is a good idea because track days aren't covered by road insurance. If I wanted to get insurance it'd be around £120 for the day. So I go out without it. If you broke it though, stick it in a ditch and go, "Look! What happened? " I've heard that happens. Yes... I've seen cars pushed onto the road. This is the Palmer Jaguar. A track day thunderbolt. And a more fitting remedy for a man who had once proclaimed... I am a driving god! Oh my goodness! This is a properly great car. It uses the three-litre V6 out of Jaguar's X-Type. It has 300bhp and it weighs 600 kilos. That is very, very light. And it means it's very, very fast. It really can travel at some incredible speeds. Straight up to...120, 130. Absolutely awesome power in this thing. Turn it in far here. Use that torque. The lowdown power. Come on! HE LAUGHS MANICALLY Yeeeeeees! Yes! Ha ha! Ooh! I might have overcooked that. Ha! This is amazing! Once more! I am a driving god! It is a car fit for one, at least. TYRES SCREECH So the driving god sped off there at 5mph. Track days are such big business that there are lots of companies making cars designed for the purpose - racers with indicators so they can go on roads. This Palmer Jag is one of them. It costs £47,000, and that's a lot. Don't worry - there are lots of others, which are cheaper. # Hey, ooh-wooh # Wooh-why # Hey he-ey... # That's the stats. Now, let's see which is fastest on the track. # I don't know what to say, you don't care # Anyway # I'm a man in a rage # With a girl I betrayed # Here comes love, tastes like honey # You can't buy it with money # You're not alone any more # You shook me to the core # You shook me to the core... # Here are the cars in reverse order. In 5th place, the Lotus Elise at 1.28.02. 4th: the Caterham at 1.25 flat. 3rd: the Atom at 1.24. 2nd: the Westfield at 1.23.02. And first - the amazing Radical at 1.19.08. Right, diesel engines. Three makers didn't do diesel engines. Honda - they've done it. Saab - they did it. Now, the last one has now gone. Jaguar. No! It's terrible. JEREMY MIMICS A JAGUAR ENGINE Are you OK? That's nasty. It's horrific news. They're doing a V6 in the S-type, and a four cylinder in the X-type. Which has nothing to do with Ford. It won't be a Ford engine, it's a Jaguar engine in every way! Yep. But if you pick at "Jaguar", it might say ".. ord" underneath. I have worries about this. Jaguar is stealthy, sleek... Is it going to work? Have a look - we have one here. We'll see if it works. Stig. Yeah. ENGINE RATTLES Oh dear. LAUGHTER That simply won't work. It loses something, doesn't it? Ah, beautiful, hearing it purr. That is not going to work. The worst thing is, Jaguar were working on an F-type, and they cancelled that as they'd spent their money on the diesel. This is a heartwarming tale of British boffins. Mark and Colin have been in their sheds smoking pipes, making tea. They've looked at the electric car. They have a prototype, the emotion. They say, "We aim to lead the way with a variety of innovations - "many could find a market in the mass production "of commercially viable electric cars. " Let's see. What a rubbish thing! It's got a fridge freezer! "You've forgotten the windscreen. Lend us your crash helmet. " They obviously made it blunt at one end, then pointy "cos it's aerodynamic"! Look! There's a way to go before it becomes a viable family car. Why not invent another Concorde? You know that Subaru and Mitsubishi film we showed earlier? You're probably thinking, "That scenery, the cars - perfect. " But it wasn't. I'll show you an outtake which will explain why. Caravans. Get out of the way! Pull over once in a while! Once every 300 miles! Pull over! Ple-ease get out of the way! Please stay in a hotel next time! Ple-ease! Caravans are the bane of our lives. We decided to set the new boy, James, a task. Incredibly, the world speed record for caravans stands at a frankly astonishing 128. 86mph. But they thought I could beat that. Bentwaters. 1.7 miles of prime Suffolk runway. If there's anywhere to beat the world speed record for towing a caravan, it's here. We're using this Mitsubishi Evo VII. Not something normally featured in the Caravan Club magazine. It will do 130 on its own, no sweat. What will it be like towing a mobile home? It won't be a holiday! This is our caravan. It may not be aerodynamically modified in any way. Not so the car, which has power bursting out of its every orifice. Its turbo charged engine develops 771bhp. That's not the figure we're interested in. It's torque we want. This car has massive pulling power - 648 pound feet. That will move the mountain closer to Mohammed. Our driver is Lee, a stuntman. During the run, his hand will be close to this. One yank, and it's goodbye, caravan. At over 100mph, crosswinds could flip the caravan, taking the car. The windows could buckle under pressure, turning the caravan into a parachute and flipping the car. Our first run, to test things out. The caravan is over the speed limit. The Evo VII is pulling hard. 124. 9mph. That is fantastic. Then, disaster. It's a high speed blow-out from the kitchenette window. Hee hee! You've bust it. How fast were you going? In the car, it was 124. 9. More, and the other side will go. No. Ready? That's it. 'Didn't quite manage it that time. ' I'm not quitting. I'll have another go. You better succeed. One of the strangest things about being over 40 is that you start to want contestants on game shows to win. You also start to like game show hosts, even dressed as deck chairs. Richard Whiteley! APPLAUSE Wow. How are you? Have a seat. I've got to be careful with this. It's back to Bridlington tomorrow. How much do you get for renting that out? Mind you, I'm not one to talk. Let's be honest - really. Let's do your career history. Born up north. Yorkshire. Which is fine. Educated at Cambridge. Wooh! Someone has to be. You were the first person on Channel Four. Got eaten by a ferret. That's it. What about your car history? My first was a Ford Anglia, now immortalised by Harry Potter. Sloping back window. Two-tone grey. It was my mother's. When I got my first job, I bought it from her. I was 21, 22. Your notes say you had a Lancia Fulvia. Yeah. A fantastic car! It WAS fantastic. Fulvias are a pretty car. What was it like? Red and chrome. Yeah? Coupe, two seater, black leather seats. Quite a difficult gear shift, actually. It took a bit of driving. Wooden steering wheel. 1973. Beautiful things. And now? I've got a Jaguar, actually! A new one? I got it three weeks ago. One of the new ones with a... Yes. Has it got that grille? It has. You're right, I saw your piece. It's fabulous, but what a pity about the radiator. Have you stuck with Jags? This is my fifth Jag, my fourth X Jag. You know, I'm 59 now. I deserve it, don't I? I've had a Jag for years. I'm embarrassed. I always wanted one. The first I got five years ago, I was so proud. One day, as a trustee of the Royal Armouries, a priceless collection of arms and armour... In Leeds. £45m building, the most secure one in Leeds. I had to get a parking pass from reception, so I roared up, outside the big glass doors of the armouries, nobody around, opened the door, engine running, and rushed in to get my pass. I parked at the front as I'm a trustee - who's going to tell me off? I pushed this door round, and saw someone getting in to my car. I thought, "They're terrific, the armouries. They're valet parking it for me. " "Fantastic. " And then it roared off. A Jaguar does do 0-60 in five seconds! Whoosh, it was gone. It was nicked? It was nicked. Did you ever get it back? I got it back about ten days later. It was OK. They'd used the ashtrays... Oh, no. And they'd retuned the radio from Radio 4, so I was a bit annoyed. Anyway, I did get it back and it was OK. But a year later, I went on a charity visit to Armley Jail in Leeds, we were being shown round and they echo, these prisons, have you been in one? Yeah. This is... But we won't go there! We were looking round - the great and the good of Leeds - and from the galleries high up, someone yelled down - can I do this? they said, "Northern Whiteley, you fat BLEEP! " "Where's Carol? " One of the prisoners accompanying us said, "That's Jed up there what cried down at you. "He's a real hero in this prison. " I said, "Why, what's he done? How many people has he killed? " He said, "He were the lad what nicked your car two years ago!" LAUGHTER I want to play a game with you. This Countdown thing. This rearranging letters. Yes. What do you reckon? Any ideas on that one? I'm short-sighted, thank goodness! Tell you what, we've got some here. What do you think that might be? Mini, Mini. Mini? You're absolutely right. It's mini. What about sexul? Sexul? Gary Lineker's got one. Nothing sexy about him or it. Got to be a Lexus. He's right. That's two. They're getting harder now. What do we think that one is? Anyone got any ideas? AUDIENCE: Land Rover. That's two words! Nevor Lard is two words! Come on! Play the game. We ARE playing the game! OK, then. Imushibits. Who works out these for you? I did it. Mitsubushi. He's right, Mitsubishi. Oh, Mitsubishi. You're good! These are getting longer and longer. We can play the music while you work this out. COUNTDOWN MUSIC BEGINS Is that one word or two? One word or two? Two words. You blew it. Has anyone guessed? MAN: Hispano Suiza! Hispano Suiza, says the man over there. He should be on your show. Is that not the most annoying music? It is THE most annoying music in the world. Absolutely. Do you have it on your mobile phone? AUDIENCE LAUGHS Do you have it on your mobile phone? Do you... Yes! When you ring your mobile... Yes, yes, I do! What I'm interested in is how you got on in our reasonably-priced car. Oh. This is very embarrassing. Shall we find out? Richard's lap. TYRES SCREECH Here we go... You're putting a lot of effort into this. Knackered. This is where he said don't brake. I've got to. Quite smooth... quite fast. Ish. And into the last corner... That's a nice line. Well. We have the time. And I'm afraid it's a sad day in Top Gear history. And a sad day for Harry Enfield. AUDIENCE: No! Richard Whiteley is the slowest man ever with a time of two minutes six seconds! Enfield is going to be absolutely apoplectic. His proudest boast to date was he was so slow and you've beaten him! By miles! Frankly, your life is now ruined. I know. But thank you. It's a joy to have you. Richard Whiteley! You've ruined my life! Thanks very much. Earlier on I was told to go and break the world caravan speed record, which stands at 128mph. And I failed. So I had another go. With the window repaired to Aerospace standards, caravan glory is within Lee's grasp. This time the cross winds have built up. The caravan starts to fishtail. Lee keeps his nerve and keeps his foot to the floor. He hits 125.2mph. That looks great for a new record. Just 5mph more. There's plenty of runway left. But then, oil and smoke everywhere. This doesn't look good. I'm not an engineer, but I'd say it was mullered. I think the piston's gone, or low on fuel, I'm not sure. We can't have another go then? Not with this car. There you go. BBC Top Gear, the world's anti-caravan organisation defeated by a 20-year-old Abbey GT214. It's pathetic. I wonder if James May realises. We don't tolerate failure on Top Gear. It's not an option. Maybe he doesn't know about the tank of piranhas. He'll be in it if he doesn't get it right. Right. Get rid of that. Got some housekeeping to do on the cool wall. Anne Robinson said it's silly the TT is this far down, because it's a cool car, it needs moving up. There. You're doing that cos she's not here. Exactly! I have one - there's an omission off the cool wall. And it's this. Which is the Mercedes SL55 AMG. Mmm. What a car. Jeremy's car! What a car! There is an issue with this. It's just been bought by somebody quite famous. Do you want to guess? Brad Pitt. Cameron Diaz. way. Let me help you, Jeremy. It's Dale Winton. Dale Winton's a nice chap. No, he's orange. It's uncool. Sorry. I'm glad you brought my car up. I've got one I'd like to share with you. The least cool car I've seen in a while - 1982 Porsche 911 SC. Particularly if someone has written on the back and fitted a turbo body kit. That's my car! That really is your car! And it's hideous, so it's going here. And it's left-hand drive, so you're a cheapskate. It's true! It's never overtaken anyone. That's what passengers are for. His dog ate it. She did. A couple more I have to stick up - Mitsubishi Evo VIII, we looked at. Where's it go? AUDIENCE: Sub-cool? Wrong! Why is it sub-cool? It's a proper car. It's fast and it handles well. That's nothing to do with coolness. It's like having ginger hair. Anyone else got any thoughts on it? MAN: Uncool. Uncool. He says it's uncool, he's kind of right. The thing is, it's very gender-specific. If you're a man, it's really uncool. If you're a woman, it's fantastic. We wanna meet you. So it kind of goes there, as does...the same story with the Subaru. Yeah. Put that there. Right in the middle with the F60. It's funny, it's the way of the cool wall. I've got one last one here, the Peugeot 206 GTI 180bhp. What do we think? Uncool! It's not uncool! Who said uncool? Me! Why is it uncool? It's a Peugeot! What's that got to do with it? It's ugly! That's nothing to do with coolness! Anyone think it is cool? Right, I do. I'm gonna explain why. It's a hot hatchback - hot hatchbacks are cool. They're small, they're easy to run. I had one the other week, came down here, drove it in second gear all the way, made me feel 18! All of which is good, and they're good cars. I just... Everybody else thinks it's uncool, you think it's cool. Casting vote here. I reckon, apply your own test. The Kristen Scott Thomas test. Picture her outside her apartment in that. She'll get in. No. She'll get in the diesel one of the bloke behind. I think it's uncool. Oh, my God! What's up with you? Chinese burn. Why don't you give him a dead leg? I will. I'll butt him, but I won't reach. I was talking to an independent local dealer the other week about waiting lists, three-year-old Toyota Rav 4s. How does that work? Whenever you went to your local dealer and had a good stock of three-year-old cars, he would've bought those from company fleets that sold them at auction. All of a sudden, they've changed tactics. They're holding onto cars so they can save money on buying cars. They're not selling cars off - they might keep them for five years. Usual supply of three-year-old mainstream cars has dried up. Top Gear top tip - don't buy something like that now. If anyone's got a three-year-old Toyota Rav 4 they want rid of, I know a bloke who'll have your arm off. Time to sell it is now. OK. Cars are facelifted throughout their lives, and when that happens the old version costs less. It's often not very different. It's tweaks. Tweaks and things. The VW Passat. Earlier this year, this car was facelifted. The little rubber strips on the bumper were replaced with little chrome strips. As a result, cars with the rubber strips on the bumper are worth a bit less. It's ridiculous. How much? VW Passat 1. 8T, metallic paint, list price £18,200. With rubber bits on the bumper, a bit over £15,500. Hey? ! Yeah. You save how much? I want to ask you this. Tell me honestly, what do you want? Shiny bumpers, £2,500 to spend on beer and a holiday? I'll take the money! That's insane! That's pretty much the only visual difference. The rubber-bumpered car is still a 2003 car and is new. That's it from Insider Dealing. In the last two years, Lotus have sold 5,000 of these Elises. Vauxhaull have sold 1,000 of these VX220s. You might think that's odd because if you peel away the bodies they're basically the same car. They're made in the same factory. I can explain what's going on. I've got two Armani jackets. Open it up, you see? Says Armani in there. Now in this one, I've changed the label so it says Millets. Which one are you gonna buy? Hm? Exactly. Armani. Vauxhall have realised it's no good making their car the same as the Lotus. It has to be much, much better. This, then, is the new VX. You'll note the new spoiler on the back and its smart new wheels. Inside, you'll take in the leather seats and if you snout around, you'll clock the extra soundproofing to make it even more refined. You'll notice these things and think, "That is a really, really pretty car. " Well done, Vauxhall. I'll have the Lotus. I mean, it's not like the Vauxhall is any easier to get into. If you're taller than six inches or have any extraneous body parts, realistically, you need to take the roof off before you can get behind the wheel. No problems there. It has the same simple roof as the Elise, same basic chassis and with a price of £25,000 it costs about the same, too. It has the same handmade feel, too. There are squeaks and rattles. But there is one big difference. The normal Vauxhall VX, the 220, has a 2.2 litre engine which is fine in a ham sandwichy way but in this, they've added pickle. The engine is smaller, just two litres, but it has a turbo charger. That means 200bhp. So, this may be a bit heavier than an Elise, thanks to its airbag and its anti-lock brakes and its soundproofing and turbo. But it is hugely fast! I like the feel of acceleration. There's a cosiness as your internal organs are marshalled by the G-forces into a little puddle in your spine, but in this, it's like you're being electrocuted. 0-60 takes four seconds. It keeps on kicking you in the back of the head with its million-volt shoes all the way to 150. Wicked! It's so quick that on the press launch in Spain four of them were crashed by journalists. There was a rustle in the hedgerow. Remember when Marks and Spencer's launched that range of underwear that was seethrough and boudoirish? This car is as big a departure for Vauxhall as those knickers were for MS. Really. And you know what? We haven't even got to the best bit yet - its handling! I drove an Elise round this track in the last series, and I know I've got fingers of butter and fists of ham, but it really was understeery and this just isn't. Miles of oversteer, you can get it up to the limit and just hold it there. Love it! Brilliant. One thing'll get me off this racetrack - if it runs out of fuel. That's the first time I've thought that while behind the wheel of a Vauxhall. Lotus has responded to this car with a 190 Elise that we saw earlier in the programme, but that cost £33,000 - £8,000 more than this. This has an airbag and is more comfortable. I do believe this is the sports car of the moment. I'll give anyone a fiver if they can find the word "Vauxhall" written anywhere on it. One more test. The Stig. So, off the line. 200bhp and a feather-light body on a dry track. This should be fast! MUSIC: "Son Of A Preacher Man" by Dusty Springfield It's Dusty Stig-field! This car was designed by Lotus. So was our track, so it should be brilliant here, as he goes through Chicago... Very tidy! Now, coming up to Hammer Head, this can catch out mid-engine cars but the VX has no problem at all! In the first sector this car was level-pegging with the BMW. Can it beat the BM? Come on, Stig! He's crossed the line! That is... Quicker than an M3! That is an amazingly good car. Now, we've got one minute left and James has to use that time to get that caravan past the speed record. I've been looking at the Guinness Book Of Records. It doesn't say that I have to use a car to tow the caravan, so I've decided to rely on the most powerful engine in the universe - gravity. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER Do you know something - who'd like to see that again? Yes! Yeah. Oh! Ooh. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! Look at that! I'm not sure that was faster than 125mph, but I don't care! Absolutely don't care, and on that flimsy, fibreglass bomb it's time to end the show. Bye! This is Armed Forces radio reporting from London. Today, Supreme Allied headquarters reported American combat troops and aircraft have completely routed the attacking German army at the Ardennes front. American troops have discovered the frozen corpses of over 70 fellow GIs, taken prisoner then fiendishly executed by their German captors. Investigating officers at the nightmarish scene say the massacre happened at a small crossroads near the Belgian town of Malmedy. General Eisenhower has vowed that upon war's end, all German officers and soldiers responsible for this unspeakable act will be vigorously tried for war crimes and swiftly punished. This is Armed Forces Radio, London. Ah, cigarettes. What is this? My wife. You speak German? Hmm. Please... Here. Thanks. Halt! Halt! Out! Out! Now! Don't shoot! Don't shoot! I surrender! Get down, get down low. Hello! Is anyone home? Come in. It's cold in here. Light the stove. Ach! It's foul. Not like mom's house. Yeah, a little louder. I do not ... Now, is fine. Was that one of our aircraft? Yes, it just flew over. Has it crashed? -The crew taken prisoner. Okay, we'll go right away. Let's go men. Thank you. Catherine. Say 'good day', my love. Bon jour. Are you all Americans? Good. Well, welcome and I will prepare something to eat. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Catherine. Hello. Bread... Winley? Search over there Oh, Sophie! A woman so beautiful ... You're a beautiful woman. Come on, there's nothing here. I'm going down this road! Hands up! Drop the weapon! Allez. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry... The radiator was damaged ... with snow. What was that? They're here! Our troops are above there... You need a car. They have that jeep. The keys are in it... Take what you want. May God be with you. Where is the Medical Station? At the end of this road turn left and drive for 500 meters. Thank you very much. I have not seen you before? What's your name? I'm stuck! Can you help us? Sure, no problem. Help us here! This is the radius of the armed forces‎, London‎. Finally invasion‎. The allied army assaults the enemy of France from sky and sea‎. Crushing the Nazi hordes of Normandy‎. Swift aircraft dropped paratroopers invading Holland from heaven to liberate the Dutch desperate fascist yoke‎. Thousands of people overflowing the streets to greet their liberators allies‎. Fighting desperately‎, rifle to rifle‎, US Army repels and destroys a tremendous German army‎. Combined with Russian tanks from the south‎, destroying the Nazi forces and rescuing our boys trapped behind enemy lines‎. American troops take Ludendorg bridge and pass the Rhine river‎. Dela getting into Nazi Germany‎. Divisions of American tanks fighting against any enemy resistance‎. While Russian troops raid other areas‎, Adolf Hitler commits suicide to be caught in con life‎. HITLER IS DEAD‎. The Alemania nazi if rinde‎, While the mother earth trembles‎. Hundreds of thousands of captured enemies roam the roads‎, as the Allies advanced‎. Our soldiers in frontline combat find their way into enemy territory‎, followed by an endless brigade working day and night keeping our fighters with bullets‎, boots and bread‎. The extended line between the advanced border Review rearguard is filled with a degree of intense battle‎, and enemies‎, more tiezos that dead dog lying in no man's land‎. The territory has been called: The Void‎. SAINTS AND SOLDIERS: BATTLE TANKS This is the radius of the armed forces in London‎. Harz Mountains‎, Germany May 2‎, 1945‎. That rain‎, seriously‎, is tightening‎, Do you have it‎? I Bendita view‎. Es un declenchement to die‎. What do you McConkie said‎? Let's hope your cue to move‎. This wait is killing me‎. You have to be patient‎. Man wants to wait‎. Its signal to attack Jerrys‎. It is thick in here‎. We need fresh air‎. ‎ - Hey‎! ‎ - Quiet‎, Simms‎. Do not have a bath in a week‎. Consider it a blessing‎. I received‎. McConkie want to wait until it is quite dark‎. Then gives the signal to fire‎. ¡Mitchell‎! ROCKWELL legend avenging angel ‎ - Mitchell‎, are you ready‎? ‎ - I am‎. And ready to move‎. ‎ - View‎, attack and destroy‎. ‎ - View‎, attack and destroy‎! You know why we're outside‎. We have a problem‎! And it has to be discussed‎. This morning‎, three men tried to escape‎. A 2 of them we boiled to death‎. Someone help this man out‎. I want to know ‎.‎.‎. by whom ‎.‎.‎. Sending the northern tolerar ‎.‎.‎. this type of behavior in my guard‎. Next time I will not be so merciful‎. Do not even hesitate‎! There will be no escape‎! I copied‎. Out‎. McConkie is giving orders to prepare‎. ‎ - Fire when ready‎. ‎ - Preparations‎. ‎ - Clear‎. ‎ - Ongoing‎. Sargento Atwood‎. McConkie want to see you and Whitaker quickly‎. ¡Max‎! ‎ - Is it really bad or not‎? ‎ - Although you can achieve‎. I bet it will be so fast that I will Pocotello‎. Or you can exchange it for a new one‎. Those are fighting words‎. Do not ever talk about her‎. What‎? Think you can with me‎, Daddy‎? Any day of the week and twice on Sundays‎. ¿Ah‎, si‎? Sure you can grandfather‎. You failed‎. What do you think‎? Look at that‎. I have a Nelson in Nelson‎. Sorry‎. Do not apologize to me‎, ‎.‎.‎. ‎ - Apologize to the girl‎. ‎ - Sorry‎, lady ‎ - She's a lady‎. I'm sorry‎, ma'am‎. It was very rude of me‎, and will not happen again‎. Cut it already‎. No more fights‎. We have to keep moving‎. Agree‎, disagree‎. Do not mess with the Ramrod‎, Ping Pong‎. It's good advice‎. Atwood‎, Whitaker‎. I need to make a quick attack Braunlage‎. Atwood‎. You'll be a sergeant in it‎. The other companies are having a little problem ‎.‎.‎. with some stubborn Germans east of town‎. They can not do that ‎.‎.‎. Is the Mayor‎? ‎- ¿Brugermeister‎? ‎ - Si‎, ese ‎.‎.‎. to convince them that the war was almost over‎. Yes‎. He tried‎, but he was killed‎. It's just a small resistance ‎.‎.‎. that somehow went unnoticed‎. What sugieroes entering there and a little scared‎. Want to relocate inventory or more soldiers‎, sir‎? No‎. The two groups already have are enough‎. We'll do it quickly‎. Captain‎, I need a man in the group of artillery‎. The wizard lost his shooting hand on the bridge in the morning‎, Sharon lo Mataró‎. ‎ - Do you have some replacements‎? No‎. Hold on to what they have‎. And what about Nelson‎? Has experience‎. We can promote it and boot it in your group‎. It is a good solution‎. Let's go with that‎. With Hitler dead and the Russians take Berlin ‎.‎.‎. maybe this is the last action you see‎. All this will be over within a week‎. Remember me‎. I do not want anyone to die today‎, so follow the rules‎. Yes‎, sir‎. And General Irelan come today‎. So I want you back ‎.‎.‎. for the visit of General‎. We will deal with the matter in Braunlage and will be back‎. Excellent‎. Thanks gentlemen‎, stand down‎. Lord‎. ‎ - Atwood‎. ‎ - Si‎, señor‎. Tell Simms was a good shot the last night‎. With guards at 260 yards‎, must be a record‎. I'll let you satisfied‎. ¿"Avenging angel"‎? Hey‎, what do you do‎? Hey‎, Simms‎.‎.‎. I like it‎. It's a good name‎. ¡Simms‎.‎.‎.‎! I saw one the other day‎, and I'll laugh‎. these guys ‎.‎.‎. Oye‎! Why do not you go to work‎? Driving lorries‎, polish boots ‎.‎.‎. I do not care‎. Just stay away from my Helkath‎. Understand‎, you are not welcome here‎. Are you deaf‎? You‎, piérdete‎. This cable is not striving to simpatizarte‎. Yes‎, ‎.‎.‎. it's all a great guy‎. Do you think I came to fight against racist damn world‎? When we have these problems in the US It's called irony ‎.‎.‎. or hypocrisy‎. Depending on which side of the line you are‎. I do not like these types racist drunk‎. That was when we left ‎.‎.‎. Cuando así will we turn‎. Someone told me you used to drive one of those tanks‎. You heard wrong‎. My group was not tank‎, tank destroyer was‎. I was commander of one of those Helkath for two years‎. Then you have good stories to tell‎. A good ‎.‎.‎. and others that were not so good after all‎. And how did you get to drive trucks‎? They degraded the service unit three weeks ago‎. The general said‎, and I quote: "If this battalion were a horse‎, shoot him‎." It's a long story‎. ¡Owen‎! Owen‎! Come here‎. I'm all ears‎. Another time‎. Let's load these trucks and move‎. Agreed‎. Welcome gentlemen to express Owens‎. Watch your head‎. Our next stop‎, hot baths‎, beds and good food‎. ‎ - Good Morning‎. ‎ - Where did you get that‎? Lo Tome por AHI‎. I had to make something for my brother and thus prove I was here‎. You know I'll never let you take it home‎. Never say Never‎. Did you find more treasure‎? Behind the graves‎. They excarvaron and left all these things before you leave here‎. Speaking of treasures ‎.‎.‎. I have some novels you love‎, but want your cigarillos‎. Here they are‎. Are you serious‎? Is that a fair exchange‎? No smoke‎, but read‎. What is the problem‎? Have you heard of the robbery on the highway‎? All that crap you have a package worth just there‎. These are hard to find‎. All right‎. What will I do with cigarettes‎? See‎? Everything is arranged‎. ‎ - Thank you‎, Danny boy‎. ‎ - Do not call me‎. ‎ - That's your nickname‎. ‎ - I do not want a nickname‎. Everyone has a nickname‎. The Nelson's "Ping Pong"‎. ‎ - Simms is "Judy" ‎.‎.‎. ‎ - Wait ‎.‎.‎. ¿"Judy"‎? Yes‎. Your first name is Cary‎. ¿Cary Grant‎? Sorry‎. I do not understand‎. Judy‎, Judy‎, Judy‎. He said‎, "Bring me a baby‎." No‎, no‎, no‎, no‎, no‎.‎.‎. You mistook Larry Storge‎, comedian‎. He made a representation of Cary Grant Judy on stage‎. "Susan‎, Susan‎, Susan"‎. That said Cary Grant in "Get me a baby‎." Exactly‎. Thank you‎. Good‎. I have no problem calling him "Susan"‎. Ping Pong‎. You were promoted to be a charger to replace Kelly‎. Now you will work with the trigger‎, right‎? Not a problem‎, Sgt‎. We will teach you how a real group shot‎. ¿Ah‎, si‎? Do that‎, Max‎. OK‎? Attention all‎. McConkie needs its ready to Braunlag Helcats‎. ¿Braunlag‎? If it says "Braunlage"‎. "Braunlage"‎. Are you done‎? Do not fight the German language‎. Or against people‎. We fought against the Nazis‎. Then‎, ‎.‎.‎. have to persuade the Germans that come out with their hands up‎. We have much work to do‎, so we charge‎. Mitchell‎. I need two more rounds of missiles for the wearer‎. You have them‎. ¡Danny‎! ¡Bájate‎! Want to open a hole for fun‎? No‎. Why would I want to do that‎? Because you're a ball‎! Ayer te dije‎. Do not smoke near the ammunition‎. ‎ - I know‎. Sorry‎. I forget‎. ‎ - You forget‎? You forget ‎.‎.‎. How could you forget‎! You're the charger‎. You drive more than anyone on this team armory‎. Do not know why I forgot ‎.‎.‎. Remember that‎. Or send us all to hell along with you‎. ‎ - Got it‎? ‎ - Yes‎, Sergeant‎. Sometimes I wonder what happens to you‎. You do not have to ask more‎, it has been confirmed‎. The results of Barlow negative IQ arrived this morning‎. Here you go‎, Danny boy‎. Sorry for the delay‎, gentlemen‎. But finally out of here‎. Lieutenant‎. Do you feel good‎? I'm fine‎. Just a little tired‎. Then‎, ‎.‎.‎. What happened up there‎? What made Shonbeck‎? Good ‎.‎.‎. It's a long story‎. I do not know where it came from‎, but we caught past the farm‎. Shonbeck nos llevó al bosque‎. And we were confident that we would be killed‎. Teniente Goss‎. 12 kilometers is very far‎. I'm surprised he has not gone before‎. His enemies uniforms had to help‎, that I admit‎. Can we walk‎, gentlemen‎? Summer‎, ‎.‎.‎. The dilemma is that we left here to shoot any soldier ‎.‎.‎. to view enemy uniform‎. Stop here‎. Turn around‎. Knees‎. My favorite weapon‎. My father took a British officer who killed later‎. It is much better than the 9mm Lugger‎. Do you know why ‎.‎.‎. British arms changed to standard 4‎.55‎? Did you know‎, Lieutenant‎? You're British‎. You should know‎. ¿No‎? Me neither‎. Just seems easier to handle‎. It's a waste‎. There is a game we used to play on the Russian front‎. Who is the last man left ‎.‎.‎. Good‎. You can go to the forest‎, or wherever‎. Looks like a generous offer considering the severity of his crime‎. It's very simple‎. Just point the gun at his temple‎. Pull the trigger‎, ‎.‎.‎. and then‎, of course‎, if you are still alive ‎.‎.‎. They spend‎. Let's go‎. Take it‎! I do not want to be the one chosen‎. That would be very unfair‎. It's simple‎. Now‎, if you do not want to consider my offer ‎.‎.‎. I can kill all the a trip or push them until they do‎. Very well‎. Well‎, Mitchell‎. Move us‎. Mitchell‎, vamos andando‎. Say prayer‎. ‎ - Amen‎, Sergeant‎! ‎ - Amen‎. What is happening‎? Last night the Germans blew up the bridge‎. They flew around the area‎. They have engineers working on repairs‎. And the rest of the convoy‎? We let them take risks‎, but the last to cross ‎.‎.‎. got caught between the bridge and the river‎. Luckily no one died‎. It will take all day to repair that bridge‎. So what do we do‎? You have to take the 520‎. That is why Saint Andreasberg‎. It has a small bridge where you can cross‎. And how far is that‎? About 20 miles‎. It's like an hour‎. You better wait here‎. But they do not know how to wait‎. Thank you‎. Hey‎, what's wrong‎? We have to take an alternative path for Saint Andreasberg‎. So we get to "emptiness" and go‎. Sorry‎, gentlemen‎. We were told that the bridge is broken‎. So we have to divert another way‎. I do not mind the trip‎. It is actually pleasant‎. But here we have a guy on the other hand‎, it ‎.‎.‎. I'm not sure who likes shortcuts‎. You can go in the cabin if you want‎, sir‎. I'm Lieutenant Goss‎. Sergeant Jesse Owens‎. A pleasure to meet you‎, Lieutenant‎. Jesse Owens‎,‎.‎.‎. How Olympic medalist Jesse Owens‎? Exactly‎. Must be nice to confuse you with him‎, I guess‎. ‎ - Looks like a good guy‎. ‎ - Do you think‎? ‎ - The man won 3 gold medals‎. ‎- 4 medals‎, sir‎. Four‎? It broke a world record‎. I did seem to others as fools‎. I can be liked‎. ¡Going‎! Danny boy‎, do you have gum‎? ‎ - Not if you're gonna call it‎. ‎ - I told you‎, it's your nickname‎. I told you not want a nickname‎. Cut it‎! That's your nickname‎. You know‎, like the song: "Oh‎, Danny boy‎,‎.‎.‎." That's an Irish song‎. I'm not Irish‎, nor my ancestors‎. Come rájate with gum‎. Thank you‎. Do you feel better‎, sir‎? Now I can see where we go‎, much better‎. Well‎, as you can see let me give tourism‎. Welcome to "Empty"‎. Killing 1‎,000 miles‎. After our troops crossed the line‎, they moved like 15 millaspor day‎. These are the remains‎. We can go home and the people of this country gets to see this‎. Like driving trucks‎? As they say‎, it's better than being in the back of the bus‎. Sorry‎. I'm not familiar with that term‎. It's what the bus drivers told us in America‎. Blacks had to be at the end of the bus‎, even if it were empty‎. What kind of behavior is that‎? In me it seems fair‎. That I say‎, sir‎. What happened there later‎? Back off‎! ¡Let's go‎! ¡Vamos‎, walking‎! Take this route to Saint Andreasberg and then turn right‎, along this road‎. Agreed‎. Is that clear‎? Simms‎, will you go home‎? You know what I love most‎? A good pair of pajamas‎. It would be nice not to have to sleep with the uniform‎. Now‎, that sounds good‎. I worry about women‎. Say or do something wrong‎, I know‎. I forgot how to use a glass ‎.‎.‎. I begin to drink milk from the bottle or something‎. What you have to remember is that when you get back are some ladies‎. He likes these French trinkets‎. Do not go walking towards them and ask "How much‎?" Try saying something like ‎.‎.‎. "Nice day‎, is not it‎?"‎. Or "Excuse me but have you ever seen the Eiffel Tower‎?"‎. Yes‎. Then you can ask him‎, "How much‎?"‎. Is that you‎? ‎ - Smelly walk‎, and no kidding‎. ‎ - Are the portions K‎. Then do not eat the rations K‎. Come C rations are safer‎. I do not like the taste of meat in those things‎. The K rations come with chocolate bars They are cheaper and elusive‎. ‎ - Maybe it's what makes me‎. ‎ - Then do not eat it‎. Maybe it's the bars D‎. You've also eaten the bars D‎? ‎ - I know that smell well‎. ‎ - I like sweets‎. Well‎, but do you know what‎? No smell sweet‎. You better get your sack arrimas farts and sleep tonight‎. Not more servings K ‎.‎.‎. And no more bars D‎! ‎ - He's right‎. ‎ - Yes‎? So have the end of my finger‎. Removes insurance‎. ¡Barlow‎! The Helcats weigh about 35‎,000 pounds‎. Sure you can cross out there‎. That way baby will all Helcats‎. Agreed‎. Thank you‎. Well‎, Max‎. Can I sell you a bottle of drink‎? You sure‎. ‎ - Are 25 cents‎. ‎ - What‎? ‎ - Are 10 cents in the CP‎. ‎ - Out here ‎.‎.‎. Are 25 cents‎. Do not think they're following us‎. Jesse‎,‎.‎.‎. ‎ - To the east there is‎, right‎? ‎ - Yes‎. ‎ - Then we go around ‎.‎.‎. ‎ - Yes‎. We removed the main road‎. ¿Cua is the situation‎? The trace of a mile but escaped‎. Go and check the grinder‎. Okay‎, guys‎. Listen‎! Let's take an alternate route‎. So ‎.‎.‎. Vamos a la 520 por Saint Andreasber‎. ¡Saint Andreasberg‎! You're not going to leave you alone‎. Right‎, Max‎? By Saint Andreasberg‎, then we'll cross the river‎. Lieutenant ‎.‎.‎. Come look at this‎. Let us go up to the tower‎. Let's see where we are‎. Okay‎? Yes‎. Depart‎. Come on‎. Stop it‎! Max‎. Why do not you come and practice your German‎? He says he and his family are on their way to the farm of his uncle‎. Simms‎.‎.‎. Cachetealo‎. Raise your hands‎. He says the farm is in this direction‎. In the upcoming tour to the canyon road‎. He says his name is Frederick Kardoff‎. Ask yourself why your car‎. He says he had a big hole ‎.‎.‎. Something happened and now the car will not start‎. Do not know‎. It's loaded‎. Look at his boots‎. They are military footwear‎. Must be a deserter‎. He took off his uniform‎, I think‎. ‎ - Mitchell‎. ‎- ¿Sí‎? Take a look at the car‎. See if you can get it to boot‎. The VOY‎. Where is the girl‎? Esa es su witch‎, happen‎. Su chicoca‎. Su hija‎, earned‎. I need a cable‎. Give me a second‎. ‎ - Danny‎. ‎ - Sí‎. Give me some rations K‎. ‎ - And those of TN1‎? ‎ - No‎. Portions K‎. I know that you have hidden somewhere‎. Stalag‎. Check the tree‎. Do you‎? ‎ - I'm on it‎, Sergeant‎. Yes‎. I think I got ‎.‎.‎. That's what holds the carburetor‎. Both fell‎. This should take it‎. Turn it on‎. It seems to be in order‎. Let them go‎. ‎ - Sgt‎. We report‎. ‎ - Cabo‎. Let it go‎. Now‎, ‎.‎.‎. Let's help these people and follow the path‎. Barlow‎, ‎.‎.‎. pásale Mrs‎. rations‎. ¡Owens‎! ‎ - Monitor this window‎. ‎ - Okay‎. I'll check the store‎. Owens‎. I found a way out‎. Follow me‎. We can go out on top‎. Yes‎. All right‎. Yes‎. Help me to upload this‎. They are heavy‎. All right‎. Add first‎. ‎ - Owens‎. ‎- ¿Qué‎? Can you hear that‎? Yes‎. It is our military going‎. ¡Alto‎! ¡No disparen‎! ‎ - Do not move‎! ‎ - We come from the "Empty"‎. ‎- ¡Identifiquense‎! ‎ - Teniente Goss ‎.‎.‎. What do you do out here‎? We were rediccionaron this road‎. We ambushed‎. They flew our trucks with artillery fire‎. We lost them all‎. I'm Lieutenant Goss and he's the sergeant Owens 514‎. Revísenlos‎. ‎ - Danny‎, give a weapon to Lieutenant‎. ‎ - Well‎, I will‎. Simms‎, dame una 50th Here it is‎, sir‎. Where exactly are these Germans‎? A few miles from here‎. Very well‎. Show us the place‎, Lieutenant‎. No sign of any German‎. There are other places that we should review‎. Good‎. They will not go so soon‎. Is a tank‎. It's about 30 meters east of the road‎. It is a Panzer ‎.‎.‎. They leave well hidden ‎.‎.‎. and always in position to fire‎. And that is the chief command‎. Klaus Shonbeck‎. Is a retired tank commander‎. Taught in training brigades‎. Good‎. Apparently‎, ‎.‎.‎. has come out of retirement‎. Hey‎, Mitchell‎. Is everything okay‎? No ‎.‎.‎. you're just leaking a bit‎. You know what they say: "The old Helcats not leak oil‎." Yes‎. Just mark their territory‎. That's true‎. Do you know the Helcats‎? Yes‎. I spent two years training maneuvers in the field with 827‎. I came here and started to be in action in November‎. Does the 827‎? Seriously‎? It is part of Division 12‎. Correct‎. So where did they get the Helcats‎? ‎ - I have no idea‎. Only appeared in March‎. ‎ - Marzo‎? We were in Togans for most of the war and then change us by M18‎, just 2 weeks of training maneuvers‎. Why‎? Helcats is that we removed in February and look at this log ‎.‎.‎. and it seems quite familiar‎. Seriously‎? ¿Oye‎, Simms‎? What‎? Think you telling the truth‎? Which part‎? Do you think your Helkath was run by a bunch of black guys‎? No‎. He's lying‎. I know why I do not like‎. ¿Fuistes you who assaulted the officer with an ax‎? I know some white soldiers assigned to your battalion‎. You hear all kinds of crazy stories‎. Always leave the Helcats unguarded‎. They are always looking for pissing places to sleep‎, hide‎. This is ESPN Classic. They play all old games. So the Lakers-Pistons. Right? 1986, the finals, game seven. You remember watching this? You were pregnant with Marissa when this was on. I remember. I was so swollen. I hated Detroit. - Isiah, Laimbeer. - Yeah. Dumars. Oh, my... But Worthy, James Worthy, he saved us. He shot the lights out. So fantastic. You know that thing I was trying to talk to you about? - Jimmy. - No, I'm just saying that I took care of it. - I knew you would. - You did? I can't believe I'm old enough to have watched people play in those shorts. Hey, Marissa. Marissa? I'll go. Here you go. Hey. What's the matter? What's the matter? Come on. You can tell me. Come here. Give me a hug. Give me a hug. What's the matter? You can tell me. We tell each other everything. Do we? Hello? I'll meet you there. - Hi. - Did Marissa come back? You smell like smoke. Yeah, we hot-boxed in Nordlund's car. And didn't invite me? Dude, that kid was messed up. - He was breathing. - I hope so. I can't believe this. This house is cursed. - You the owner? - Yes, I am. What happened? Not sure yet. But it looks like somebody's been living here. What? It's my fault. - You're okay. - Disappointed? Where you going? Don't know. We both keep our mouths shut, they may never know it was us. - What are you doing? - You're giving me a ride. I don't know what happened. I don't know why it burned down. What was he even doing there? Why didn't you tell us? He didn't want to go to a foster home. He didn't want to leave, and I didn't want him to leave either. It's like, you force me to live amongst these pod people and the first cool person I meet, you kick him out of the house. I did the best I could. So did I. Come on. The police want to ask us some more questions. Dispatch, is there a description...? Thank you. Just follow my lead. You and I need to talk. And this time I want the truth. - I'm sorry. - Ryan Atwood? We got some questions for you. - It was an accident. - Yeah, you were there? Yeah. Then we got some questions for you too. Officer, I'm Mr. Atwood's attorney. Please don't ask him any questions unless I'm present. Ryan, keep your mouth shut. You too. Dad, I know. I understand how important the model home is to the new development. We'll sell the lots by Christmas, I promise. Okay. Bye. I wish there was more we could do. Honey, you're his lawyer, not his guardian. I know. I know, I know. In the morning I'll take him to Child Service. What kind of mother just abandons her child? What happens if they don't find her? He'll go into the system. Foster care till he's 18. I mean, they'll try and place him, but...at his age, it'll be impossible. You know what I was thinking? I think that this being your last night and all, we should do something special. I don't know what. Possibly get a couple of tattoos or some hookers and lose out virginity. Ok ? Okay, dude, I don't know. There's a shark movie at the IMAX. If that's what you're into. I just want to take it easy. How was your swim? It was great. What's that? It's a model home. I build them. Well, the real ones, not that one. Can you build me one? Sorry. Bad joke. So... last supper, huh? Sorry. Bad joke. It's just a laugh riot around here. This all looks really good. Yeah, it's too bad you're leaving. We never eat like this. That's not true. I cook all the time. Dad... I'm sorry, honey. Let's just eat. We're not saying we want you to cook more. Hell, no. You remember the meat loaf incident of '98? That was brisket. Yeah, that's my point exactly. As your attorney, I'll cosign these forms. They basically say that you don't have a legal parent or a guardian available. So I'm now property of the government. Nickname: 0382965. Hey, it's better than death-breath Seth. Or so I would imagine. So we'll meet with your social worker in the morning, and she'll be the one to, uh... to take you to the group home. My contact at Child Services got you a room with only two other kids, which is good, because it can get crowded. Thanks. I appreciate it. And, you know, they do find foster homes for kids your age. Yeah, because everybody wants a brand-new teenager. I'm sorry if I'm the only one here that'll state the obvious... Seth. But we have all this extra room, right? We have a pool house. Yet, you guys are going to ship him off to a group home? Am I the only one who gets how much that sucks? It's okay. Really. Good luck with it. It looks perfect. Good night. Good night. Got a little... Playstation. Perhaps... are you running away? Go back in the house, Seth. Hey, hey, hey. You can't just run away. What are you thinking? What about, like, Child Services, or my dad? Okay, then, wait. Hey, I want to come with you. You know what I've always wanted to do, besides sail to Tahiti. I want to do that whole Kerouac thing... Hit the road, stop at diner to diner, the pancake tour of North America. No. Fair enough. Where are you going? I don't know. New town, get a job somewhere, save some money. Great plan. Sounds like you've given it a lot of thought. You got a better idea? Actually, I do. Seth... Hey... can I talk to you? Dad? What? Is it morning? You were asleep? Yeah, I was. What's going on? Well... I wanted to talk about Ryan. Yeah, I know, it's cool. We don't need to discuss it. Well, I think we do. I mean, I know you're upset, your mother and I are upset. But our responsibility is... is to our family. Yeah, that's okay. No, I get it. I mean, this is a person's life we're talking about and we need to leave it in the hands of the authorities. There's no need for sarcasm. I'm not being sarcastic. Well, it's hard to tell sometimes. Dad... it's okay. Really. When you want to talk about it... Yeah, I know. You're the one to talk to. Got it. Good night. Good night. Good night. Come on, Seth. Okay, got it. I'll be there in, like, 20 minutes. Hey. Hey. I didn't think I'd see you again. Look, I wanted to say thanks for the other night. You always drink like that? I thought you left. I did. I am. Ryan, we're all set. You ready? Hi there, Marissa. What are you doing? Nothing. We're just hanging out. Oh, look, it's somebody's birthday. I guess my invitation probably got lost in the mail. It's my friend Summer's birthday. Summer's birthday is not till Wednesday. That's what I heard. I don't know. That was a guess. You guys are up to something. Dude, what did you tell her? I didn't tell her anything. I think the black turtleneck in August tipped her off. Okay, I was going for stealth, and also it's slimming. We should really go. Have fun at your party. You should probably be off. Newport social scene awaits. Oh, yeah? Why won't you tell me where we're going? This is pretty far away. Oh, wow, complaining. That's very interesting, considering nobody invited you. Before I came along, you were on a skateboard. Oh! Oh! You like them? Yeah, I guess. Well, what do you like? Everything. Well, I don't know. I don't really listen to music. Dude, that's kind of weird. Why? What do you like? Uh, right now... punk. I'm sorry, Avril Lavigne doesn't count as punk. Oh yeah? Well, what about the Cramps? Stiff Little Fingers? The Clash? Sex Pistols? I listen to the same music as Marissa Cooper? I think I have to kill myself. Listen to punk, huh? I'm angry. That's it right there. Looks scary. Well, then, you can stay in the car. You recognize this place, Ryan? This isn't... Where are we? Well, it's one of my mom's housing developments. Her and my grandpa own a bunch of them. This is supposed to be the model home, but it never got finished. Why? Did someone die here, and now it's haunted? Yes, that's exactly what happened. What did happen? I don't know. How do contractors just disappear? If we don't have a model home, we don't have a new development. It's been a month. I'm not waiting for you guys anymore. You know where to reach me. No luck with the contractors? Vanished. My father's never gonna let me hear the end of this. Did you talk to Seth? I think so. But don't blame yourself. I'm not blaming myself. But how can I allow a strange boy to live in this house? Seth needs to know it's what any mother would do. I was talking about the contractors. So you want him to stay here? Well, I mean, I know the place needs some sprucing up, but... God, did I just say "sprucing"? So, Ryan, what do you think? I haven't really had time to think. But how much better is this place than some group home? And wait till you see the best part. It's an empty pool. To some people. So, your mom. I mean, she has to come back, right? I don't know. My mom's... kind of a train wreck. So's mine. Well, I mean, what about your dad? Can you call him? Dad's in jail. Armed robbery. Impressive, huh? My dad, he's, like, a financial planner. And I think he's in trouble. I don't have any stock tips. He stopped going to the office and these guys keep showing up at the door like cops, but he won't answer. Look, I haven't told anybody about it. I can keep a secret. Hey! Where you at, girl? It's time for you to get your buzz on. Nolan's so faded, he can't even feel his feet. There goes the left leg. I miss you, babe. You know, it's not a party without you. Oh, you're sweet. What's the deal? You were supposed to be here an hour ago. Okay, I'll be there soon. Say hi to everyone. Allright. Love you. Love you, too. Bye. So how long you been with him? Luke? Um... I don't know really. I know. Fifth grade, when you two got your mack on, during our class trip, to the Museum of Tolerance back of the bus. Classy lady. You know what? What's your problem, Cohen? I mean, what did I ever do to you? Nothing, Marissa. I've lived next door to you forever and you've never done or said anything to me. Oh, my God, you're the one who never talks to me. You think you're so much better than everyone. I do? Well, if you're talking about Luke, then yes, because that guy shaves his chest! Hmm, he plays water polo. We know--half the team tried to kill us the other night. I'm not too popular around here, and your boyfriend--a little bit angry. You're telling me you didn't try to hit him back? Actually, I hit him first. Well, hard to believe you're not more popular. I thought this could be your room. I still don't know if it's a good idea for me to stick around or not. You should stay. Okay... for a little while. So when she says it, you listen? Hey Summer! Oh, hey, hey, hey. Is that Summer? Tell her I said happy birthday. Coop, where are you? We're coming to get you. Oh, no, don't. I'm coming. Seth Cohen says happy birthday. Who? She says thanks. Uh, look, I got to go. Bye. I got to go meet my friends. My... other... friends. I should get back, too, and protect my cover. But wait, listen. We have to promise not to tell anyone about this place, okay? Now, Ryan's not going to obviously, and I could get grounded, so that leaves Marissa. I can keep a secret. See you tomorrow. Me, too. We'll fix this place up. Cool. I'm telling you, Ryan, this plan is foolproof. Hey, Ryan! Hey, Ryan, you ready? Okay, the key here is not to panic. Do you have your supplies? Yeah, but there are cops at your house. I mean, do you think it's safe? I'll handle Johnny Law unless...are you losing your nerve? Meet me in the driveway. He couldn't have gotten far. We'll search the neighborhood. Seth. I was going to get you. We got to talk about Ryan. Oh. Marissa? Look who's here. Luke! Hi. Hey. Mm. Just grabbing a little grub before we take the boat out. Boat? Yeah, I thought we'd take my dad's DawnSea. Do a little water skiing, have a little lunch. So you have no idea where Ryan might've gone? I don't know. He did say something about going down to Mexico and gambling on cockfights. I mean, I don't know what kind of jurisdiction you guys... Quit joking around. Will you answer his question? Yes, I did. I really don't know. I do not know the guy. I never got the chance. Hey, there's eggs. Oh, I'm taking Caitlin to the stable, so I need to get that check. Does Caitlin really need a pony? In a couple of months, she's not even going to like horses. What? ! I love China. She's the prettiest pony. We're not giving up China. Now go wait in the car, sweetie. Mommy will be right with you. Jimmy, this work is making you so tense. Look, I've got to talk to you about work. Honey, you know I don't like to talk about work. Yeah, well I... I've made a few mistakes, and, uh, I don't know really... Jimmy, you don't have cancer. No one is dying. Whatever it is, whatever you've done, I'm sure you'll fix it. Now can you write that check? I don't want Caitlin to be late, okay? It's just Suki is amazing. It doesn't hurt at all when she's waxing you, and it's really hard to get an appointment with her. I know. Why don't you get a manicure? You could come with me. I mean, they're not just for girls. You go. We'll catch up later. Holly's having a... Holly's having a thing. Perfect. So, you tell him anything? No, but if anyone asks, you're Suki. So you didn't tell them anything. Um...actually I told them you went to Mexico for cockfights. You know what, though? Even if they don't believe me, they'll never look for you here. Did you seriously bring a loofah? What's a loofah? Hey, you said bring whatever was around the house. But I meant like survival supplies like rope or muskets and not... Kio's cucumber moisturizer. - That's a pretty good call. - That's nice, yeah. Hey. Here's a little bit of everything. Let your education begin. This place is perfect. Seriously, it's totally safe. Ryan, how perfect is this place, right? Seriously, what else could you need? Anyone bring any food? Um...food. Guess we're going on a mission. Faster! Go, Ryan! Whoo! Well, call me if someone meeting that description comes in. Thank you. Nothing at the hospitals. I'm sure he'll turn up. Not if he's smart. I think Seth knows where he is. Are you accusing him of lying? That'll be really good for your relationship. Let the police handle this. Oh, I wish you hadn't called the police. They don't have the resources or the manpower. Ryan'll just slip through the cracks. Sandy, how many of these cases have you seen? Or passed across your desk. What is it about this kid? I thought I could help him... make a difference. I was this kid. If someone hadn't helped me... I wouldn't be here. Hello? How are you? I'm good. Listen, I hate to ask, but I need your help with something. Uh, of course. China has alopecia. We need to call the vet. Um, are you free for lunch? Yeah. I have some stuff that I need to do for work, but that sounds great. So you guys, I've been thinking about a plan. You know, right now this could very well be the first stop on our pancake tour of North America. Hey, like in On The Road. That's my favorite book. Mine, too. So here's the deal. My mom had this boyfriend. He hired me to work construction last summer. But then they broke up...he moved away...to Austin. In Texas? Said if I was ever out there look him up, so... I mean, well, that's really kind of far. We were thinking like Long Beach or something so we can all still hang out. I'll need to get a couple of days of work so I can get a little bit of travel money. Well, I mean, we can get you money. Well, I mean, I guess in a way you're kind of lucky. You get to move to a whole new place, start over, be whoever you want to be. That's really not so bad. Hey, putz. What's it take to get a menu here? Okay, I'll handle it. That's all right. I'll handle it. And ruin your popularity? You know what, why don't you guys just sneak out the back? What's going on with you two? Hey! How's it going? Hey! Front door. Hi. Hey, guys. How you guys doing? You like the food here, too? It's pretty awesome. Shut up, queer. Well, at least I don't shave my chest. What'd you say? Luke, come on. I just said you look nice in a sweater vest. It was a compliment. Do you want me to break you, Cohen? Hey! No way. Look who's back. You know, you're a little far from Eight Mile. Luke, don't! What are you, like spokesperson for geeks of America or something? You know what I like about rich kids? Nothing. That was awesome! You know what I like about rich kids? Bam, nothing. Hey, Ryan, you wouldn't consider me rich, would you? I'd be more upper middle class? What's up, fool? You know, you didn't have to hit him. Sorry. You know, the cashier called the cops. Look, I don't know why Luke does that. Did that. He's just... An ass? Protective. God. It's my mom. And... your dad. It's been awhile. Figure out what kind of shape this place is in. Wow. Oh. That's what...those contractors have been doing. This place is fantastic! You think so? You don't think it's too much? Too much? You're talking to the guy whose wife just imported ceramic shower-curtain rings from Morocco. This is gorgeous. The high ceilings and the molding. It reminds me of... Your parent's house. On Elm Grove. Yeah, with the vaulted ceilings and those great beams. - Yeah. I loved that old house. - Yeah, I loved that place, too. - I had my first kiss there. - Me, too. So what's going on, Jimmy? I've just had a really bad year with the market and, it's disastrous, and it's going to be a struggle just to remain solvent for the next... How much do you need? No. It's... it's a lot of money. It's too much. Jimmy. It's a hundred thousand dollars. I'll call the bank. No. I can't. I can. I'll pay you back. But it's going to take me a couple of months. I know where you live. This place is going to be perfect. I hope so. New contractors come tomorrow. Better get the job finished. New contractors. Mm-hmm. Sounds like a nightmare. Pretty much. You okay? So the contractors start tomorrow. Guess that means I'm gone. One bus ticket to Austin. 8:00 a.m. tomorrow. Would you like to purchase? Hey. Hey. You're not knocking anymore? I'm sorry. What are you doing? Uh...just busy. You're always busy. That's the price of fame. I gotta go, Dad. They found Ryan. Or spotted someone who meets his description. There was a fight down by the pier. Really? Which means he's probably still in the area. We should go try to find him before the authorities do. Before he gets into any more trouble. Actually, do you need me to go? I was going somewhere. Seth. He's your friend. Yeah. Okay. Hey. Hey! So what's up? You've been all weird-acting lately. Yeah? I don't know. I guess... It's just... Do you ever wonder what your life looks like through someone else's eyes? This is what I'm talking about. What is up with you? Nothing. It's just... Fresh margs! This is some weak margarita. Whatever. You're the lightweight. Oh, ho, ho, say it over here. Come here. I hope your parents never come home. Seriously, dawg, let's find that punk's trailer park and burn it to the ground. Who dat? That freak from Chino. He was all up in Luke's grill. Maybe he's on OxyContin. OxyContin is gnarly. I heard he's like a total psycho. He's a little bitch. I see that kid around again, I'm going to beat his ass. Yeah, run him out of Newport for sure. I gotta go. Hey wait up. Where you going? I can't be here right now. What's the matter? You don't know him. You don't know anything about him. He could be anywhere. Dad, I'm sure Ryan's fine. We should just try again when it's light out. Could be too late by then. Yeah, well, maybe he's better off on his own, anyways. What does that mean? Okay, if we find him, then what? Then, if he's very lucky he gets to go back with his mom? I would run away, too. Promise me right now that you never do that, that you'd never run away, no matter how bad things may seem. Your mother and I will always be there. Okay, Dad, please, take it down a notch. The minute you were born, I knew that I would never take another easy breath again without knowing you were safe. So I'm like asthma? I'm warning you. You run away... I'm coming with you. I guess we can keep looking. This song reminds me of you. I thought you were with Luke. I was. I don't know why I'm here. I just wanted to see you. I mean...you're leaving tomorrow and...what if I never... we never... Maybe I could spend the night. Just to hang out. You can't stay. If you stay, if you spend the night, I... I don't know that I could leave. Well, then don't. Yeah, you go back to school in the fall and I'll just what--hang around here? Hiding like some ghost? Till the cops find me and I have to disappear again? We're from different worlds. That's not true. I'm not like you. Go. Please. Go. Hey, Allen. I'm good. I know it's late, but I need to transfer some money. Sure, I can hold on a sec. Seth! I'm up here! You get the bus ticket? You're not going anywhere. What are you doing here, man? What are you doing with my girlfriend? Nothing. Didn't look like nothing. Tell me. Or I'll kill you. Then kill me and quit talking about it. Dude, this place is on fire! We gotta go! Let's go, man! Run! I thought basketball season was over. No, this is ESPN Classic. They play all old games. It's the Lakers-Pistons. Right? 1986. The finals. Game Seven. You remember watching this. You were pregnant... you were pregnant with Marissa when this was on. We watched it. I remember. I was so swollen. Ugh, I hated Detroit. Isiah, Laimbeer, Dumars. But Worthy... James Worthy, he saved us. Shot the lights out. Fantastic. You know that thing that I was trying to talk to you about? Jimmy... No, I'm just saying that I took care of it. I knew you would. You did? Mmm-hmm. I can't believe I'm old enough to watch people play basketball in those shorts. Hey Marissa. Marissa? Uh-oh. I'll go. Hey. What's the matter? What's the matter? Come on. You can tell me. Hey... come here. Give me a hug. What's the matter huh? You can tell me. We tell each other everything. Do we? Hello? I'll meet you there. Hey. Hi. Hey, Marissa come back? Uh uh. You smell like smoke. Yeah, we, uh...hot boxed Nordlin's car. And didn't invite me? Dude, that kid was messed up. He was breathing. Yeah, I hope so. I can't believe this. This house is cursed. You the owner? Yes, I am. What happened? Not sure yet. But it looks like someone's been living here. What? It's my fault. You're okay. Disappointed? Where are you going? Don't know. We both keep our mouths shut. They may never know it was us. What are you doing? You're giving me a ride. I don't know what happened. I do not know why the house burned down. What was he even doing there? Why didn't you tell us? Because he didn't want to go to a foster home. He didn't want to leave and I didn't want him to leave either. It's like, you force me to live amongst these... these pod people and the first cool person I meet, it's like, you kick him out of the house. I did the best I could. So did I. Come on. Police want to ask us some more questions. You and I need to talk. And this time I want the truth. I'm sorry. Ryan Atwood? We got some questions for you. It was an accident. Yeah, you were there? Yeah. Then we got some questions for you, too. Officer, I'm Mr. Atwood's attorney. Please don't ask him any questions unless I'm present. Ryan, keep your mouth shut. You, too. Vic! Come on, dude! –Tell me you're leaving! –That which doesn't kill me... Come on! Come on! Let go! Vic! Hi. David Aceveda. Vote for me. Appreciate it. Hi. David Aceveda. Vote for me. That's an arm. Went to Armadillo's place to talk to him about Tio's murder. –What'd he say? –He wasn't there. Signs of a struggle though. Bloodstains, seared flesh on the stove. –Pretty ugly stuff. –That sounds like Armadillo's MO. Checked Tio's phone records. You were the last call he made last night on his cell before he died. Yeah. He sounded kind of agitated. –We got cut off. –Too bad. What are you asking me? Look, I don't like these questions any more than you do. I was with my guys all last night while Tio was being killed. Feel free to ask 'em. Okay, then. Single blow, a heavy blade. –An ax, maybe a machete. –How long ago? Based on core temp, I'd say recently. –Three to four hours. –So she's been dead since around 6:00. Didn't say she was dead. Skin lividity and clotting... indicate she was alive when this happened. –Sadomasochistic torture ritual. –Okay. If someone were trying to keep her alive, how long could she survive? With a tourniquet and basic medical knowledge, indefinitely. Until he tired of his domination and control Dr Mengele experiments... and decided to squeeze the last breath out of her so he could watch. See, this is why you and me can't date. Run these prints. Get me an I.D now. I spoke to Shane. He said you weren't with him for about an hour last night. Yeah. That's right. I was with a private eye named, uh, Gordie Liman. –What's he got to do with Tio and Armadillo? –Nothing. It's a private matter. I'd rather it stay that way. I'm happy to help you if you're helping me. –Are you? –I have been. But I'm just about through. I guess I'll have to figure this out on my own. What the hell was that all about? Nothing. Why didn't you just leave it here and call 911? –This dog was sniffing around it. –So? It's a bone. The arm probably fell out of the Dumpster when the truck picked it up. Call city services. Remand the truck. Have some unis search it. The rest of her might still be in that truck. Alive, even. Lowe, did we I.D the fingerprints yet? –There's a backlog. –Backlog? I cant find her if I can't I.D her. Give me that. Have your guys do door knocks. Talk to every neighbor. Tell everyone if they find anything, give me a call. This is Detective Wagenbach. I told you I needed a rush on those prints. We don't know she's dead. She could still be alive. And if she is, I'd hate to see your backlog cost her her life. –You told Claudette I was gone for an hour? –You were gone for an hour. Jesus! She's all over my ass about this Tio connection. She said she'd talk to you. I figured the truth was the safest bet. –Now it looks like I'm lying to her. –You are lying to her. –What, are you trying to be a wiseass? –No, I'm just... Just shut the hell up! –Christ! –Where are we headed? I got things to do. I gave you guys to Aceveda for the day. –What? –Apparently, a group of male hustlers... is hangin' out on the same block as Aceveda's campaign headquarters. He's setting up a sting operation. I volunteered you guys. –You can't be serious. –Your shirt's gay enough for the job. –What do you mean you gave us to Aceveda? What... Great. I've got your assignments. Briefing room, five minutes. Is everything okay with Kayla? When was the last time you saw your roommate? –Last night around 6:00. –She didn't come home all night? I don't know. I slept at my boyfriend's. Any idea where she might have gone? There's two million single men in L.A. Take your pick. We found her car in the garage, but not her purse or keys. Is there someone close? Somewhere she might have walked to? Wait a minute. Is Kayla dead? We have every reason to believe that she's still alive. 'Cause I don't wanna be a bitch... but our rent's due next week. –Vic. I got great news. –What? Just be glad you hired me and not the brain-dead idiot your wife did. Jerk off privately. What do you got? Corrine's P.I., they're making nonsecure calls from his cell phone. I caught one. Found where she's at. –Beauty. You got the address? –Yeah, sure. –Oh, geez. –Corrine... Don't run away. Just hear me out for two seconds. Look, this running has to stop. How much time could you possibly need? This isn't about me, Vic. It's about our kids, about them being safe. Do you honestly think I'd put my children in danger? Not intentionally, but the things going on in your life... Something told me to run. School's back in session. Matthew needs to be at Glenridge. He needs his routine. Cassidy needs to see her friends. This isn't gonna change things between us. Don't punish them because of me. I'll move out if I have to, if that's what it takes. But I need to know that they're at home where they can be safe. I don't...  I don't know, okay? I'll think about it. Hey, how'd your meeting with I.A.D go last night? Good. Good. You ran out of here so quick. They told me not to discuss it with anyone. But it went fine. Anything yet? –Hi. I'm Detective Wagenbach. –All right. Just a second. –Bob, the police are here. –Police? Open it. I saw you all coming in. What's going on? I'm investigating your neighbor's disappearance. You hear or see anything suspicious last night? –Which neighbor? –Kayla LeSeur. Oh, man. We heard her arguing last night out on the balcony. Yeah, around midnight. I saw her through the window with a guy. –You recognize him? –Yeah. Marcy had me come take a look. I've seen him around a few times. Come down, give a description? Uh, sure. Let me just grab my jacket. Great. –Alvarez? –All right. Let's take Union. Hey, how's my favorite hillbilly? Joe, what in the hell you doin' here? I'm here to meet the big guy for lunch. –Hey, you still crackin' skulls? –Yeah, man. How's retirement? –I'm shaving' a few strokes off my golf game. –You look good. –You I don't know. –Ronnie Gardocki. Joe Clarke. Taught your boss everything he knows. Yeah, but you didn't teach me everything you know, right? That's right. I'm saving some. –We're gonna grab a bite. Wanna go? –They're busy. When I miss tee time at Riviera for this, you better be buying. Riviera? Since when do they let hacks like you play at Riviera? You guys still here? Come on! Hey, who was that with Vic? –Joe Clarke, his old partner. –They kicked him off the force. –Why is that? –Some punk took a swing at his last partner. Joe knocked out like half of his teeth in front of this crowd. Total railroad job. Don't worry. It's nothing like what you're going through. So it's been a year since you called me up. You drag my ass down here. What's going on? Can't I buy you lunch? Vic, come on. It's, uh... been a pretty rough ride lately... Enough I'm thinking about gettin' off the train. You wanna give up your badge? I'm lookin' for a sign. Seen any around? You don't wanna give it up. –Retirement's been pretty good to you. –A forced retirement. Believe me. I still miss it. We can hit the links together every day. What's bothering you now? When, uh... When we were ridin'... you ever feel like you went too far? Yeah. Couple times, maybe. Probably. Definitely. Hell, you can't always land just right. Goin' too far will get you fired. Not goin' far enough will get you killed. I never lost any sleep over it though. Anyway, we always did more good than bad, right? Right. That's the key. –Yeah. That's him, all right. –Yeah. –Good. –Anything else we can do? She was such a nice girl. She still is. Roommate I.D'd the photo as a Jordan Arnold. Run the DMV. Get me an address now. We're running out of time. Snitch's Tavern. Your first arrest. That guy had to be 6′6″ easy. –Still, that bust was when I knew. –Knew? That maybe you wouldn't be a complete screwup after all. –Take a right up here. I wanna show you something. –No, I can't. I gotta get back to the barn. I got some stuff I gotta check up. Bullshit. This is your training officer, all right? Take the afternoon off. Humor an old man. Take a right. Come on. All right. Yes? I've got a problem on this Tio murder. What's that? The more I look into it, the more Vic Mackey's name pops up. Well, Tio was Vic's C.I. He was also a drug dealer. Vic's name is all over his phone records. But Vic told me he hadn't talked to him in months. –He lied. –Well, what do you wanna do about it? I went through Tio's place. I found his business ledger detailing payments made to a landlord. I wanna check them against Vic's cash deposits in his bank accounts. I need your authorization. Claudette, Vic's one of us. I got a dead drug dealer. I got a suspect who's probably skipped town... and the only person who can shed some light on it... is an uncooperative cop with a bad rep. You want me to let this case just slip away, son? I.A.D on Danny's shooting. Draw up the authorization form. I'll take a look at it. Everything looking good for my officer? –Getting all the cooperation you need? –Pardon? 'Cause if anybody's giving you any interference, I can help. Ah. Thanks. Claudette, witness brought in a freshly amputated arm. I'm thinking sadomasochist, probably keeping her alive. –I've got a suspect named Jordan Arnold. –Let me help you with that. Thanks. I can use a sounding board. Know who lives there? Cocksucker who cost me my job. –Fleetwood. –Yeah. City paid off the lawsuit: 1.2 mil. He moved back just a couple months ago. –Son of a bitch. –Hey. How'd you like to help me do some good, serve up a little karmic justice? –Joe... –Hey, 20 bucks says we bust him on a felony before nightfall. These assholes could win a lottery and still not keep their noses clean. See that little prick? He got one over on me, man. –You know that ain't right. –Yes, I know it's not right. –Then here we go. –Lookee here! –Jesus Christ. –Bitch that made me rich! You thought it'd be fun to beat on me like a punk nigga now, huh? –Who's the nigga now? –Hey! Step back! Yeah. Here. Go get yourself some new gear on me. Go back to your party, burn out whatever brain cells you got left. Come on, bitch. Hit me! I could use another couple million. –Put the camera down. –Come on. Show's just startin'. Hey, let go of him! Let go! –Back off! –That's all right. I'll just buy me a new one. Hey, what's this? That's a Palm. Keep it. Got ten more on order. Why don't you crawl on back to your crib? Hey, you need a beer, keg's always on tap. Yeah. This ain't right. What's the verdict? Well, other than a few hiccups, it's looking good. What hiccups? According to Julien's statement, he didn't see the shooting. What do you mean? He was right there! He says he was in the woman's apartment. But I wouldn't worry about it though. It's gonna be a good shoot. –Dutch. –Jordan's alibi checked out. I ran a records check on everyone in Kayla's building. –Any hits? –Two: a woman passing bad checks and a Bob Lindhoff. Bob Lindhoff? I just had him down here. Nine years ago, an attempted kidnapping charge, later dropped. She's coming to again. Get in the car. Hey! Hey, I tried to call, but there was no answer. We went out to grab a bite to eat. What's up? I've got a suspect down at the station I was hoping you could I.D. You mind coming back? –Uh, is it really necessary? –Yeah, do you mind? –No, not at all. –Great. Follow me. Hey. Fleetwood's been checkin' in with his parole officer... doin' community service and scrubbing' graffiti. Sumbitch is totally clean. You? I ran some of the names he had in his Palm Pilot. He had four two-strikers in his address book. You need a new C.I.? –Doesn't everyone? –I'm gonna hit the head. Then we can go do some arm twisting', huh? –Vic, we need to talk. –What's up? Claudette's got Tio's ledger. He was supposed to burn that. Well, apparently, Armadillo burned him first. Claudette wants to run your financials against Tio's records. Fine. Let her. –You sure? –Trust me. She's not gonna find anything. –What's Joe Clarke doing here? –You know Joe? I remember his picture in the papers. He can't be here. Hey, he's a friend of mine. And he's also an embarrassment to this department. So unless he's here to report a crime... I can't allow him in this building. I don't know. Makes you think. Vic says the guy was a real crackerjack cop. Somebody like him can get booted, man, none of us are safe. Come on. The guy's old. Probably lost his edge. –Nothing's gonna happen to us. –How are you so sure? Because we're careful. Because Joe got sloppy and stupid. Stupid, huh? –Vic, I... –What's stupid is Joe's twice the cop you'll ever be. You're too sloppy to even know it. –Here we go again. –I guess so. You know, I'm gettin' a little tired of this bullshit. I'm gettin' tired of constantly having to clean up after your bullshit! Every time something goes to shit in your life, I become your whipping boy. Why don't you find someone else? –Maybe that's exactly what I'll do. –You want my transfer request? Say the word, Vic! It'll be on Aceveda's desk first thing in the morning! –Fine. Write it up. –Fine! Asshole. –What'd you call me? –Hey, hey! Everything all right? Yeah. Just a little spring cleaning. Let's ride. I thought this was about I.D'ing somebody. Actually, we're more interested in the kidnapping charge... that was filed against you in 1993. That was a misunderstanding. –You were 35 at the time, right? –Correct. –And your girlfriend was in high school? –She was 18. And you took her away on vacation for two weeks and never told her parents. I know. In hindsight, it was just a bad judgment call. But Amanda was an adult. You're 17 years older than Marcy too. You like 'em young, Bob? Yeah. They just... feel right. Did Kayla feel right? I wouldn't know. –I know how you feel. –Excuse me? What'd your partner do? He's not backing me up on the shooting. –If that guy costs me a promotion... –He's not backing you up? –After all I've covered for him. –You covered for him? –What did he do? –Nothin'. Hey, it's cool. You can tell me. No. It doesn't matter. I gotta get back. Seeing the way you stiffed your partner, I figure you're just one big hard-on today. –Excuse me? –You know what an officer-involved shooting means? It means that we're all involved. –I told the truth. –When it comes to your partner's career... the truth is like grits. You don't serve it up plain. You put a little salt on it. You goddamn rookies. $20 apiece. I'll let 'em both go for 35. That's real... That's like chiffon. And this look good with your eyes. And this is silk right here. This will look real good with... Drop the clothes, ladies. Although, you have got to have that one. –She's keeping that one for free. –Wait... Whoa! –I got receipts for all this, man! –Oh, yeah? That's funny. I got a police report for it from Dress For Less. Dealin' stolen merchandise, Taylor. That's your third strike... before you're 25 years old. That makes you the goddamn rookie of the year. I got a little baby at home. She need milk and books, man. Only thing you got at home... is a wide-screen TV you haven't paid for yet! –Ow! –Here's your statement. Sign it. Whoa, man. What the hell is this, man? This is all filled out. You don't wanna sign? I'll throw you in County right now on that third strike. And if I sign this bullshit confession? Play ball with us, we'll let you play extra innings. We know you've been selling stolen goods to Fleetwood Walker. Give us a hand, we'll lose this statement. We'll forget we ever saw you. Man! Oh, my God. Why would someone do this to her? Most likely trying to fill a twisted sadomasochistic fantasy. Why would someone fantasize about cutting a woman's arm off? Some people derive sexual pleasure... through inflicting physical, emotional abuse. That's horrible. Yes, it is. How old were you when you met Bob? –Is he your first boyfriend? –How did you know? He made you feel powerful, right? Did he tell you about the attempted kidnapping charges filed against him? Yes. Why? Bob went to medical school for two years. So? So... So if a woman had her arm cut off, he'd know how to keep her alive. Oh, God, no. No. I swear to you. Bob didn't do anything like that. What'd we get back on the river basins and the state parks check? Nothing. We're still waiting for regional and county. Call 'em back. Don't wait on 'em. Bob's cold, manipulative. Always been with women he could control. Marcy accepts this 'cause she knows no better. She's been force-fed his opinions to the point she's incapable of having her own. Sounds like a surface diagnosis to me. Believe me, if you'd grown up in my family for 20 years... you'd recognize it right away too. I'm gonna, uh, go it on my own on this. Marcy only knows how to take orders from men like Bob. I-I can handle this. Bob is innocent. I understand. You're afraid of him. –I'm not afraid of him. –It's okay. I can protect you, but only if you tell me what he's doing. –He's not doing anything. –Don't lie to me, Marcy! –I'm not lying! –Yes, you are! Bob tells you how to think, how to feel, how to act. –Without him, you're worthless. Nothing. –It's not like that! And you won't leave him because you're afraid no one else will ever love you... that you'll learn Bob was right about you all along. –No! –Oh, damn it, Marcy! –Don't lie to me! –Why are you doing this? Because there's a girl out there who may still be alive... and I won't let you kill her! Now, goddamn it! Tell me right now! Where is she? I don't know! Really! I don't! I played the daddy. I broke her. If she knew Bob was involved, she would've confessed... or at least given me a nondenial. –You think? –I don't know. Maybe Bob's not a sadomasochistic thrill killer. Maybe he's just an asshole. Problem is, he's the only asshole we've got. –Well, what do you got for me? –What you got for me? Come on. Embrace the relationship. Fleetwood is fencing' again. He's so goddamn predictable. –What's he moving'? –Just, you know, warehouse electronics, man. CDs, TVs, DVDs. Same stuff as before. Where's he keeping his stash? Are you gonna hold this third strike over me for the rest of my life? I could lie to you, but I have far too much respect for you as a person. Yes, I am. Here is your authorization to check Mackey's financial records. Thanks. Hope we don't find anything. I just hope you find the truth. Hey, Joe. It's Vic. Can you believe I walked out on them? When they left, I thought it'd be easier. I thought they'd miss me more than I'd miss them. Guess I'm the shithead, huh? –Stacy still on the swim team? –Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah, she, uh... Damn it! I didn't want you to see me like this. –Broke, with nothing. –What about your pension? Damn lawyers for the civil suit ate it up. –What about the stuff you took on the side? –I guess I didn't take enough. Always so careful. Never wanted to get caught. –Joe, you can't live like this. –Oh, sure I can. The truth is, the people we save from the worst day of their lives... never gotta see us when we have to face ours. Hell, and why should they? We took the job, not them. –No, that's not right. –What you gonna do, man? I'll tell you what we're gonna do. –Fleetwood's got a warehouse full of stolen merch. –No. I say we nail him. Sell half the stash to my new C.I. –We get you some new digs. –I can't let you do that, all right? Hey, I'm just...  I'm just trying to do some good. You know, and deliver some karmic justice. Now are you in, or are you out? Easy. Don't suck on his tailpipe. One second. –Yeah. –It's me. –Where are you? –Home. –What, our home? –Yeah. The keys still work. –Are the kids with you? –Yeah. We're all here. Oh, thank you. –This doesn't change things. –I know. –When can I see them? –Now? I got to finish up somethin' first. I'll be right there. –Okay. –Okay. Looks like he's making a deposit. Yeah, you gotta love good intel. Stay here. Watch my back. This is for my boy down the street. Fully automatic. You know what I get for those on the street? Drop it! Drop it! Drop it! Fingers interlaced! Palms on the back of your head. Now, asshole! Come on, man! Let's move! Let's move! –Vic! –Stay back! –Vic! You been hit? –I'm all right. Get out of here. –I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch. –Just get out of here. –No, no, I'm not ditching you, man. –You're not ditching me. I can't explain you being here to Aceveda. Now, go! Just call an ambulance and call my family! I'm gonna kill that sumbitch! No. No. Don't. Goddamn it! Christ. I hate playing this with you. This game's sucking. –You could stop. –Shut up. It's Vic. Hey, what's up, boss? Jesus Christ. Are you okay? –What? –Vic got shot. –What? –Vic got shot. –Can we leave? –Shouldn't be much longer. Oh, please. Don't walk out on me again. Just please don't leave me alone. Look, um... I believe you. Maybe Bob did this without you knowing. I was with him all night. If I thought he did this, I would tell you. I would. I know you would. –Who did this to you? –Fleetwood. That prick that got Joe kicked off the force? Yeah. Joe's goin' after him. You gotta stop him. Okay. You gotta stop him. –Come on, guys. We're losing blood. –Just hang in there. –Gotta go. –Just hang in there. Detective Wyms, Carlson just called. There's a homeless guy with a bloody machete saying he killed somebody. –Where? –Just south of Bell on Vine. That's a block from Kayla's apartment. Where's Dutch? I don't know. Maybe he's checking in on Vic. Have you heard anything? Not yet. Find Dutch. Tell him to meet me there. Excuse me. Excuse me. They got the guy? –Sir, put the knife down, please. –I'll kill again! –Drop your weapon! –I killed them all! J.F.K, R.F.K, M.L.K. –Carlson, got bean bags? –Locked and loaded. Run DMC.! That's the guy? He's a nut. –I was told he had a bloody machete. –I called in a kitchen knife. –Oh, for Christ's sakes. –I was told to call if I found anything. End this! Come on. –Oh, my God! –Just a bean bag, ma'am. –Let's get back to Bob and Marcy. –I released them. –You what? –I thought we had the guy here. Bob didn't do it. Marcy would've told me. Stay still for me, sir. That's it. –I'm his boss. How is he? –He's gonna live, but we need him in surgery. –Not until I see my kids. –Vic, don't be stupid. They're on their way here. They're gonna be here any second. –Vic. –Where are they? –They're in the waiting room. –I gotta see 'em. –I won't let you. Not like this. –Corrine... –I don't want them to be scared. –They won't be. Vic. Daddy! –Hi. –Daddy. I missed you so much. Kiss. Hey, Matty. Give Daddy a kiss. Hey, Vic, I really need you in here now. –Dad, don't go again. –Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I have to. Listen, someone was hurt really bad... and I have to stay here until he feels better. But as soon as I can, I'm gonna come and see you again, okay? I promise. I love you. –Where is he? –Who? Fleetwood. You're packing his goddamn suitcase. Now, where is he? –I forget. –Where's your boyfriend at? –I don't even hear you. –He just shot my partner. –Hey, where is he? Where is he? –What are you gonna do, hit me? –I don't see any witnesses here. –Yeah? Let my bruises do the talking. Don't make me do something that we both don't want me to do. –Yeah? Go ahead. –Just tell me where he is! Please. Just tell me where he is. Go ahead and whack me, you cracker prick. I'll make my own million. –Is that what you want? –Mm-hmm. –Is that what you really want? –Mmm. –All right, let's go. Let's go. –What? What are you... –Come here! –No! Let go of me! –Leave me alone! –Open up! You and me, we're about to get real acquainted if you don't start remembering. –Don't touch me! –Where is he? –Open up! –Let go of me! You don't wanna tell me? –Damn it! Open the door! –Just let go of me! Well, maybe I should just let my dick do the talking. How about that, huh? –Huh? –Open the goddamn door! –Shane, come on! –Where is he? Where is he? He told me to meet him at the stash house. –Where? –Open up! Come on! Near the bridge. You have no idea what you just missed, darlin'. –Come on! –Asshole! Couldn't split town before you picked up the merchandise, huh? You were always such an idiot, Fleetwood. Weren't you? –You can't arrest me. –I'm not here to arrest you, asshole. –Drop it! Put that on the ground! –You heard him, asshole! Now! Turn around! Turn around! Your girlfriend gave you up, man. She couldn't resist my charms. –You found something? –Yeah. Over here. While I was checking the bathroom, this tile fell off. It looks directly into Kayla's bathroom. Oh, God. Oh, God. We got to get an A.P.B out on their car. Jesus. –You okay? –Better than you. Looks like I taught you my last lesson, huh? Don't end up like me. I shouldn't have dragged you into this. Going after that guy was the right thing to do. –Hell, I got you shot. –I always knew there was a bullet with my name on it. And guess what? I'm still here. So are you. Hey, you really ought to get in there and see him. Yeah. Me and Vic aren't really talkin' right now. He'd want to see you. –Yeah? –Yeah. Hey, what the hell is going on? We found the peephole, Bob. –What are you talking about? This is ridiculous. –Step away! –It's clean. –Pop it. She's dead. She didn't like the way I looked at Kayla. And the arm was her idea. She was in the trunk... the whole time? Marcy, why didn't you tell me? Marcy. Sorry, Daddy. Oh, Shane. –Hey. –When we retire... we're gonna play golf together every day. I never played golf. I'll teach you. I'd really like that. ⬄25000÷1000⬄ Vic! Come on, dude! - Tell me you're leaving! - That which doesn't kill me... Come on! Come on! Let go! Vic! Hi. David Aceveda. Vote for me. Appreciate it. Hi. David Aceveda. Vote for me. That's an arm. Went to Armadillo's place to talk to him about Tio's murder. - What'd he say? - He wasn't there. Signs of a struggle though. Bloodstains, seared flesh on the stove. - Pretty ugly stuff. - That sounds like Armadillo's M.O. Checked Tio's phone records. You were the last call he made last night on his cell before he died. Yeah. He sounded kind of agitated. - We got cut off. - Too bad. What are you asking me? Look, I don't like these questions any more than you do. I was with my guys all last night while Tio was being killed. Feel free to ask 'em. Okay, then. Single blow, a heavy blade. - An ax, maybe a machete. - How long ago? Based on core temp, I'd say recently. - Three to four hours. - So she's been dead since around 6:00. Didn't say she was dead. Skin lividity and clotting... indicate she was alive when this happened. - Sadomasochistic torture ritual. - Okay. If someone were trying to keep her alive, how long could she survive? With a tourniquet and basic medical knowledge, indefinitely. Until he tired of his domination and control Dr. Mengele experiments... and decided to squeeze the last breath out of her so he could watch. See, this is why you and me can't date. Run these prints. Get me an I.D. Now. I spoke to Shane. He said you weren't with him for about an hour last night. Yeah. That's right. I was with a private eye named, uh, Gordie Liman. - What's he got to do with Tio and Armadillo? - Nothing. It's a private matter. I'd rather it stay that way. I'm happy to help you if you're helping me. - Are you? - I have been. But I'm just about through. I guess I'll have to figure this out on my own. What the hell was that all about? Nothing. Why didn't you just leave it here and call 911? - This dog was sniffing around it. - So? It's a bone. The arm probably fell out of the Dumpster when the truck picked it up. Call city services. Remand the truck. Have some unis search it. The rest of her might still be in that truck. Alive, even. Lowe, did we I.D. the fingerprints yet? - There's a backlog. - Backlog? I cant find her if I can't I.D. her. Give me that. Have your guys do door knocks. Talk to every neighbor. Tell everyone if they find anything, give me a call. This is Detective Wagenbach. I told you I needed a rush on those prints. We don't know she's dead. She could still be alive. And if she is, I'd hate to see your backlog cost her her life. - You told Claudette I was gone for an hour? - You were gone for an hour. Jesus! She's all over my ass about this Tio connection. She said she'd talk to you. I figured the truth was the safest bet. - Now it looks like I'm lying to her. - You are lying to her. - What, are you trying to be a wiseass? - No, I'm just... Just shut the hell up! - Christ! - Where are we headed? I got things to do. I gave you guys to Aceveda for the day. - What? - Apparently, a group of male hustlers... is hangin' out on the same block as Aceveda's campaign headquarters. He's setting up a sting operation. I volunteered you guys. - You can't be serious. - Your shirt's gay enough for the job. - What do you mean you gave us to Aceveda? What... Great. I've got your assignments. Briefing room, five minutes. Is everything okay with Kayla? When was the last time you saw your roommate? - Last night around 6:00. - She didn't come home all night? I don't know. I slept at my boyfriend's. Any idea where she might have gone? There's two million single men in L.A. Take your pick. We found her car in the garage, but not her purse or keys. Is there someone close? Somewhere she might have walked to? Wait a minute. Is Kayla dead? We have every reason to believe that she's still alive. 'Cause I don't wanna be a bitch... but our rent's due next week. - Vic. I got great news. - What? Just be glad you hired me and not the brain-dead idiot your wife did. Jerk off privately. What do you got? Corrine's P.I., they're making nonsecure calls from his cell phone. I caught one. Found where she's at. - Beauty. You got the address? - Yeah, sure. - Oh, geez. - Corrine... Don't run away. Just hear me out for two seconds. Look, this running has to stop. How much time could you possibly need? This isn't about me, Vic. It's about our kids, about them being safe. Do you honestly think I'd put my children in danger? Not intentionally, but the things going on in your life... Something told me to run. School's back in session. Matthew needs to be at Glenridge. He needs his routine. Cassidy needs to see her friends. This isn't gonna change things between us. Don't punish them because of me. I'll move out if I have to, if that's what it takes. But I need to know that they're at home where they can be safe. I don't... I don't know, okay? I'll think about it. Hey, how'd your meeting with I.A.D. go last night? Good. Good. You ran out of here so quick. They told me not to discuss it with anyone. But it went fine. Anything yet? - Hi. I'm Detective Wagenbach. - All right. Just a second. - Bob, the police are here. - Police? Open it. I saw you all coming in. What's going on? I'm investigating your neighbor's disappearance. You hear or see anything suspicious last night? - Which neighbor? - Kayla LeSeur. Oh, man. We heard her arguing last night out on the balcony. Yeah, around midnight. I saw her through the window with a guy. - You recognize him? - Yeah. Marcy had me come take a look. I've seen him around a few times. I think my wife will agree with me, I genuinely care, don`t care for um much um hyperbole when it comes to these things but er it`s been rather marvellous hasn`t it? The celebrations were premature. The new system may have been functioning in most of London but it wasn`t yet in the East end. Less than three months after the grand opening of Crossness the cholera returned. Once again health officials had to resort to desperate measures. The possessions of victims were fumigated with sulphur in a vain attempt to stop the disease spreading. But once again William Farr had the grim task of registering the deaths. And there was a puzzle. With the sewers almost complete the worst of the smell had gone. So why had the cholera come back? This reservoir provides drinking water to the East end. l`m assured by the East London water company that the river that feeds it has been filtered to cleanse it thoroughly. Yet earlier today I saw something very strange. That strange thing could be the vital clue that eventually led Farr to unmask the true course of cholera. The Russell family`s water supply in Poplar had suddenly stopped. After five days without water Mr Russell unscrewed the tap and found an eel fourteen inches in length. It was in a putrid state and the stench arising from it was most fearful. Since then two of his children and his wife have been taken ill. Eels caught in this reservoir today. If there are eels in the reservoir it can not be filtered. Therefore sewage is getting in to the water supply spreading the disease. And not through the air, through miasma like I had thought before. Everything I have ever done for public health has been based on a falsehood. A public enquiry revealed that the East London Water Company had been supplying unfiltered water polluted by sewage. No one had doubted the connection between cholera and sewage but only Dr John Snow had understood exactly how they were connected. Like many others I have always believed in the miasma theory, that disease was carried by smell. Now l`ve realised that I was wrong, that Dr Snow was correct. Cholera is waterborne. And yet since the sewers were built the cholera has died out and everywhere public health has improved. I thought the sewers were helping because they removed the stench, the pestilence and therefore the, the disease. That was our priority. Purification of the water was always secondary. Yet that is what has made a difference to my fellow citizens. This then is the supreme irony of Bazalgette`s story. He had built his sewers when almost everyone believed the miasma theory, his aim simply to take away the smell. But by also removing the sewage he had accidentally ensured that future generations of Londoners would be safe from the deadly disease. He had saved the city. If the malignant spirits whom we moderns call cholera, typhus and smallpox, which are set out in quest of the man who has been their deadliest foe in all London, they would make their way to the home of Joseph Bazalgette. The accuracy of John Snow`s observations was fully vindicated. Cholera is a waterborne disease. But tragically he never lived to see his theory accepted. By the time he was proved right John Snow had been dead for eight years. The effectiveness of Bazalgette`s great work was proven for all when on July 26th 1867. That night the equivalent of two months average rainfall fell upon London. Bazalgette`s sewers coped with every last drop. The final section of the sewer system was the Thames Embankment, a mammoth engineering project in its own right. It houses both the northern low level sewer and the metropolitan underground railway. And in time the embankments would help to create a faster flowing clean river. And if it was working as it should no one would even think, no one would even think. When he`d finished with the sewers Bazalgette turned his attention to London itself. His bridges span the river at Putney, Battersea and Hammersmith. He replaced narrow streets with broad boulevards. He laid out parks right across the metropolis. As much as any man Joseph Bazalgette made modern London. As for cholera it never returned after Bazalgette`s sewers were completed. We can only guess at how many lives he saved. This is the true story of a line, two thousand miles long. A line that united a nation and tore it apart. The more Indians we can kill today the fewer we will have to be killed in the next war. Will someone go over there and help my men. A line that crossed the wilderness and turned it in to the wild west. For every worker who dies in that accident, we lose four in a shoot out. A line that fought men, and mountains. There's a lot of men buried under those rocks. You can't build a railroad under fifty feet of snow. It was the greatest line the world had ever built. No one in the world, no one can do it as well as we do. It's not simply tracks for a railroad we're laying. We did it damn it. It's the foundation for a magnificent highway of cities. We have finished the job that Christopher Columbus started. It was the world's first transcontinental railroad. In 1863 the United States was falling apart. North and South were divided by civil war. East and West by the wilderness. The young nation stood on the brink of collapse. But at the height of the conflict President Lincoln issued a remarkable challenge. He called upon America's finest engineers to build a railroad. It would run from the Atlantic to the Pacific. It would have to climb fast mountain ranges across hundreds of miles of desert and prairie. It would have to bridge canyons a mile wide and chasms a thousand feet deep. This will be a work of giants. And Uncle Sam is the only giant we know who can grapple the subject. It would be the world's first transcontinental railroad. But this challenge was not taken up by the giants of industry, nor in the industrial powerhouse of the east. The world's first transcontinental railroad began in the far west, in the small California township of Sacramento. On the morning of January 8th 1863 the entire population of thirteen thousand turned up for the inauguration as the President's challenge was taken up by four local shopkeepers, a grocer, a draper and the owners of a hardware store. We're all self-made men who er came out here from back east. Well none of us have any experience of building a railroad or, or running one. But we know how to run a business and we know how to manage men. People in the state have been crying for a railroad for some time, and they ought to have one. And by God, we plan to give them one. And so the grocer Leland Stanford shovelled the first earth of the transcontinental railroad. Four California shopkeepers had given birth to Lincoln's dream. And advance with giant strides the prosperity of our state and of our country. The shopkeepers stood to make millions of dollars in government grants. But they wouldn't get a cent until they had laid the first forty miles of track. And they lacked almost everything needed to get started. The west coast was an industrial desert. There is no industry in the west, this is it. We're a repair shop. The draper Charles Crocker had been appointed head of construction, and he faced a major problem of supply. When it comes to building a railroad, it all comes from the east. The locomotives, rail stock, iron, steel, gunpowder and men. Everything had to come by sea, a four month, fourteen thousand mile voyage around the southern tip of America, the worst seas in the world. And the civil war had added to the dangers. Southern warships attacked the supply vessels on the long route to California, freight charges were crippling. The shopkeepers desperately needed money from government. But to get it they had to complete those first forty miles of track. And just a few miles outside Sacramento they confronted the highest mountains ever faced by a railroad. The Sierra Nevada rises to over fourteen thousand feet. Settlers from the east had to cross this final barrier in to California by wagon train. Lost in this mountain vastness many of the early pioneers had died of cold and hunger. Others resorted to cannibalism to survive. It's the strongest case we could have for building a railroad. I mean tens of thousands of people have died trying to cross this country by wagon train. God there has to be a better way. No one had ever attempted to build a railroad this high. But the shopkeepers had one major asset. Theodore Judah was the greatest railroad engineer in America. But his plans to build a railroad over the Sierras had earned him a new title, Crazy Judah. Well if it's crazy to say that a locomotive can climb a mountain I stand condemned and you may have me let off and confined to an asylum but, but you know a railroad can go where a man or a mule can not, provided you find the right route for it. When an engineer looks at a mountain he sees a series of loops and curves that follow the contour rather like a river. There will be obstacles of course that they require a bridge or a tunnel and, well I, I've calculated that we will need up to, well fifty bridges between here, just to get up to the summit and then some thirteen or fourteen tunnels. Judah had drawn the route through the Sierras. The hundred and twenty miles over some of the toughest terrain in the world, reaching a height of seven thousand feet. But others had to build it. That would require thousands of men and tonnes of gunpowder. To lead the workforce Crocker hired the toughest construction boss on the west coast, James Harvey Strobridge. Strobridge who had lost his eye in a powder blast enforced a crew discipline backed by a pick axe handle he used as his persuader and a legendary profanity. Come on now get your ass up there, let's go. Come on get a move on that wagon there, for Christ's sakes. Come on. He has a way of persuading people to see his point of view, that's what I hired him for and that's what he does. Alright let's go, come on now get this stuff up the hill, let's go. Come on get it up here. Be careful, spark and we're all gonners. Now watch what you're doing there now. You Irish bastard, get your god damn ass down here and bring me up that wagon, you're dirty piece of shit. Now come on, fill this thing up, let's go. You can not talk to these men as gentlemen because they're not gentlemen. There as mere brutes as you can get. But these men too had a dream, and it wasn't the same as Abe Lincoln's or the shopkeeper's. It's the dream of the goldmines. These people make enough to stake themselves with shovels and picks and they're gone. Mr Strobridge does his best to persuade them of their foolishness but er if they want to leave, they're going to leave. Let's go you over here come on. And they did leave, in their hundreds to dig for gold. The shopkeepers faced ruin. There'd be times that I've thought about giving up the whole thing for a clean shirt and a freedom of debt. Without a workforce the shopkeepers had no way of laying the vital forty miles of track, and unlocking the government treasure chest. Then in the Spring of 1864 the seas brought an unexpected bounty. Fleeing from famine in their homeland thousands of Chinese immigrants had arrived in San Francisco. As an experiment Crocker recruited fifty of these newcomers to work on the railroad. But he encountered fierce opposition. I will not force Chinese labour. They are nothing but a bunch of heathen weaklings and from what I have seen they are not fit for the most menial job of work, and they sure as hell can't build a railroad. I've explained to Mr Strobridge he needs to give these men a chance. They've built the Great Wall of China, why not the Pacific railroad? The Chinese deserved Crocker's confidence, they worked harder and faster than the Europeans and for less pay. Soon there were thousands of them. They are a great army, laying siege to nature in her strongest citadel, the rugged mountains look like stupendous anthills, they swarm with Chinese workers tunnelling, wheeling, carting, drilling and blasting the rocks and earth. The Chinese were also laying track. For the first time passenger trains were running deep in to the foothills of the Sierras. In the Summer of 1865 the shopkeepers finally broke through the forty mile mark and unlocked millions of dollars in government aid. But they had taken over two years to lay just forty miles of track, and they were about to enter the greatest race in railroad history. Two thousand miles to the east a mighty power had been unleashed. The civil war was over, all the wealth and industry of the victims was now harnessed to building a railroad to the Pacific. In 1866 on the plains of Nebraska thousands of ex-soldiers waited at the end of the line for the man who would lead them in to this new war, with the wilderness. He was one of the youngest generals in the civil war and the finest railroad engineer of his generation. His name was Grenville Dodge. A year ago we were killing each other in the civil war. Praise God we are now united in a single purpose. This will be a great national work transcending in magnitude anything yet attempted by man, well I believe this will be the making of the United States of America. With the war over Congress had upped the stakes. As well as money for every mile of track laid they were now giving twelve thousand acres of land. The railroad that built furthest and fastest would own a huge slice of America. Within a month of Dodge's arrival the railroad had advanced forty miles west. Special supply trains ferried men and materials up to the rail head where the tracks were laid with military precision. These men can lay a length a track in just half a minute. That's about the time it takes a highly trained gun crew to load and fire a field gun. Done. But Dodge's army was about to fight its first major battle. At every railhead a vast city of tents sprang up on the prairie. It catered for almost every need of the workers, including drink, gambling and women And with the gamblers and the girls came the gun men. The railroad had given birth to the Wild West. This was a hell on wheels, a hot bed of vice, violence and death. It suckered in the free spending rail workers and sent them out in coffins. Angered and alarmed by the killings Dodge risked a secret visit. First place we visited was a dance hall where some fresh strumpets had just been received. The vulgarity, the profanity, the indecency would disgust any God fearing man or woman. These people are good for nothing, beside drinking, gambling, whoring and brawling. Most if not all of these creatures are squatters. On land granted by Congress to the railroad. Land that was intended to be leased to decent hardworking Christians, farmers and their families. If we let this anarchy continue that will not happen. Dodge had to do something, and he had just the man to do it. Dodge's enforcer as labour boss was Jack Casement, known as the Cossack, he was a ruthless disciplinarian with an explosive temper, and he was incensed by the toll on his workforce. For every worker who dies in an accident we lose four in a shoot out. That is not a figure we're prepared to tolerate. Arming two hundred of his rail workers Casement set off on a mission. Civil law is nonexistent. The only sure preventative is marshal law. There were dead bodies all over. They fired right in to the crowd, the railroad thinks they're law around here. They treat us like animals. I've seen men going down, women too. I saw the boss man from the railroad. He looked like a Cossack, with his hat and his whip. There was a whole load of railroad men packing pieces disputing the toss with the gaming boys. A whole crew of them came out in to the street cutting up a ruckus. And I hear someone shout, open fire. I gave the orders to Jack Casement to clean up the town, when I spoke to him after a while, after the event, he says General, they all died with their boots on. And Joesrth has been quiet ever since, as far as I'm concerned the subject is now closed, we can get on with building a railroad. Lynch law had come to the Midwest, and it was here to stay. But the prairies harboured a greater peril than gunmen and gamblers. And it drew closer with every mile the railroad advanced to the west. Within six months of Dodge's arrival the Union Pacific had laid two hundred and fifty miles of track, worth five million dollars in government grants. Far to the west, after almost three years, the shopkeepers were still stuck in the mountains, just eighty miles from their start point. The Chinese workers were at home on the perilous rock face. But the gunpowder they were using was just not powerful enough. With the other railroad racing across the prairies the shopkeepers desperately needed to force the pace. Strobridge decided to try a dangerous experiment. It's safe enough, we have a chemist, an Englishman, fixes his stuff up on site. Nitro-glycerine, with eight times more power than gunpowder, but notoriously unstable. When he's mixed it, well you wouldn't want to go shaking the bottle. He say, they pull out seven bodies, some hands, some legs, a few men are still missing. He say one of the dead man was his older brother. Our average daily progress is twelve inches, twelve inches a day that's how long it takes us to drill and blast through this rock. We've got to do better than that. There's a lot of men buried under those rocks, good men. Bury the stuff. Now it's back to packed powder and twelve inches a day. At this rate we'll be in Nevada by the end of the century. The shopkeepers' dreams of riches were being buried on the slopes of the Sierras. After three years they were still twenty miles short of the summit. Beyond lay a fortune in government grants and real estate. But first they had to beat the mountain. Dodge meanwhile had advanced three hundred miles from his start point. He was now deep in to Indian territory, and facing his greatest challenge. The Sioux and Cheyenne were two of the most warlike tribes in America and the railroad threatened their way of life. The sight of these iron monsters hurtling across their homeland was both alien and alarming. They fought back with a fury that struck terror in to every railroad worker in the Midwest. On the night of August 27th 1867 a supply train was heading westward across the prairies. About four miles out from the rail depot at Plum Creek in Nebraska, the engineers saw a fire on the tracks. Out of the smoke two men came running towards them. Indians coming. Get on the back cart. The train ahead had been derailed by the Cheyenne, and the wrecked engine had caused a fire. The war party could still be heard in the darkness. The rescuers fled from the scene taking the terrified survivors with them. I looked out of the window and I see this, this, this whole pass of Indians out there. They, they was riding alongside locomotive, you know firing, shooting their rifles at it, and er, and we was going full chisel, engineers he's trying to outrun them. Er, and all of a sudden we, we, we were in a heat you know. I didn't see what happened to the engineer or the fireman. I don't reckon they stand much of a chance back there. Of the twelve victims of the ambush seven were still missing. The train sought refuge at Plum Creek depot. Isolated the handful of men prepared for attack. But instead of the Cheyenne daybreak brought a different sight. He was the sole survivor of the missing men. And he was carrying his own scalp in his hand. By noon Grenville Dodge had arrived at a scene of carnage. Seven dead, five linemen shot and scalped. An engineer and a rail man burnt to death. This is a war. We have got to clear the damned Indians out or give up building the railroad. The massacre at Plum Creek spread panic throughout the railroad. The march westward came to a dramatic halt. Meanwhile up in the mountains the shopkeepers confronted their own killers. Frequent avalanches swept all before them equipment, track and men. They were blowing out tree stumps and a portion of snow fell on them. I don't know how many are dead, we don't keep track of them. To tell you the truth I don't know who they are when they're alive let alone when they're dead. We're sending the bodies back to China. Well that's the deal we had with the agents. They got a right to be buried where they came from. That's about all we can do. As blizzards swept across the mountains the shopkeepers floundered in the drifts. The death toll rose even higher. Down on the prairie Dodge too was counting his dead. Seven bodies were recovered from the train wreck at Plum Creek. This is a savage useless waste of life, if it continues at this present rate we'll have no one left to build a railroad. In the wake of the killings the railroad was in constant fear of attack. Workers were ordered to carry guns at all times. For Dodge, a veteran of the conflict between the states, this war had become personal. I've fought in the late conflict, I saw many good men killed and wounded. Never did I see anything to cause me to hate my enemy. I have seen what they do when they kill a man. This is a different kind of war, there is no room in this land for us and them and that's about it. For Dodge nothing must stand in the way of the railroad. He began a process that would lead to one of the bloodiest chapters in American history. Dodge used the power of the railroad to launch a war of annihilation. To fight it the government sent in one of the most ruthless generals in the Federal Army, William Tekomsay Sherman. Sherman, the man who raised Atlanta to the ground and burned a swathe through Georgia to win victory in the civil war. I have six companies of cavalry, and General Custer is coming from the Smoke Hill route. The more Indians we can kill today the fewer will have to be killed in the next war. But the more I see of them the more I am convinced that they will all have to be killed, or maintained as a species of pauper. We must act with vindictive earnestness against the Sioux and the Cheyenne, to the point of their very extermination. Men, women and children. For Sherman there would be no compromise and no mercy. The first task was to hunt down the Cheyenne war party that had attacked the train at Plum Creek and killed the seven men. A number of prisoners were taken, one of them a Cheyenne warrior called Porcupine, he gave a first hand account of the incident. We said among ourselves now the white people have taken all we had, we are to do something. If we can throw these wagons off the iron they run upon and break them open we should find what is in them and can take whatever might be useful to us. We cut down one of the big sticks that stand by the track, and just before sundown we tied it to the rails and sat down to watch what would happen. Then looking east we saw small light close to the horizon, someone said the morning star has risen. We sent men on the best horses along the track to yell and shoot in the hope that they might frighten it. But it kept going until it hit the sticks we had put on the track. The railroad is death to us. When the people hear the sound of the bell on the iron horse they mourn. It is the signal that the life they have known is over. It was over. Sherman and the army would drive the native Americans out of the path of the railroad. Every mile further west would be laid over the grave of their homeland. Dodge's Union Pacific was now in Wyoming, five hundred miles from its start point. While in the mountains the shopkeepers were approaching the highest point of their route across the Sierras. They were now running trains high in to the mountains, helped by the invention of small pilot wheels or bogeys that enabled the locomotives to twist and turn with the contours of the track. As they climbed the mountain threw more obstacles in their path. The route was severed by deep chasms. Too deep for conventional bridges. So the engineers built wooden trestles, hundreds of feet tall. The largest wooden structures ever built. But the worst problem was above the snow line. This winter we had forty four snow storms, varying from a small squall to a two week blizzard. February 18th we had six feet of snow, the drifts had measured up to fifty feet. You can't build a railroad under fifty feet of snow. And you sure as hell can't run a train through it. For six months of the year the track was blocked with snow. The engineers had a solution. To run the trains under the snow. On the worst stretches of track they built long wooden sheds angled in to the mountain to keep the rails clear of drifts. As the snow melted it caused major problems for Dodge down on the plains. Normally placid rivers turned in to raging torrents, sweeping away miles of track and trestle. And then came the rain. Sandbags were all that stood between Dodge and disaster. The river has taken a hundred feet of trestle, and if we don't shore up the bank it will take as many miles of track. I've never seen a winter like this. We've had temperatures as low as minus forty degrees. Hundreds of miles of track have been destroyed by frost. And now with the thaw we get this. The weather had stopped Dodge in his tracks. And he was about to face a financial storm that would make his problems with the weather pale in to insignificance. Up in the mountains the shopkeepers were just a few hundred feet from the summit. Beyond they had a clear run across hundreds of miles of mountain plateau, Worth millions of dollars in government grants. But those few hundred feet would be the worst along the entire route. They had to tunnel through sixteen hundred feet of solid granite. The burden fell on the Chinese labourers. They tackled it from both sides of the mountain. Toiling in shifts around the clock. Working and even sleeping seven thousand feet above sea level. They sleep in cabins buried under the snow. With er tunnels, they're more like burrows that link them to wherever the hell it is they have to get to work. They stay there all winter, never see the light of day. The long suffering Chinese finally cracked. They went on strike. For once Strobridge was on their side. Now if you don't go in there and negotiate this thing is coming to a standstill. I've got four hundred men that have already stopped. There is no plans to negotiate. There's only one man running this railroad, by God it's not them. You're not listening to what I'm saying. You either put this to an end or I'm out with them. Strobridge was now the voice of moderation. But Crocker was determined to starve the men back to work. Greed had made the shopkeepers ruthless. The race to unite America had been transformed in to a race for riches. Down on the plains greed was about to plunge the Union Pacific in to a scandal which threatened to bring the entire venture crashing to a halt. Unknown to Dodge the railroad was being robbed by its own directors. Behind the fraud was the rail baron Dr Thomas Durant, a supreme salesman. Durant had raised millions by bringing potential investors on joyrides to the Wild West. It's not just simply tracks for a railroad we're laying. It's the foundation for a magnificent highway of cities. Cities that will make the United States of America the richest and most powerful nation in the world. But Durant's patriotic fervour hid a spectacular fraud. And it was about to be exposed. The scandal was first uncovered by a freelance journalist Charles Adams. Well by law all the construction, labour, the materials from the um the timbers, the locomotives, the ore for the grating, it all has to go out to private tender. Which is to say to independent contractors who are supposed to bid with each other to keep the cost down. But Adams had discovered that instead of going to different companies the contracts were going to just one, the Credit Mobille. And just who do you suppose owns the Credit Mobille? Why the good doctor Durant, and a handful of shareholders who also happen to be directors of the railroad. Posing as a legitimate contractor Durant and his partners were illegally charging the government double what it needed to pay. For every mile of track that's laid twenty thousand dollars finds its way to Doctor Durant and his shareholders. Now over the course of the rail this adds up to many, many millions of dollars. It's a swindle. This is perhaps the greatest swindle ever perpetrated on the American people, and that congress can stand by and allow this to happen is, really is a little short of incredible. It would be some years before the American people discovered that congress too was in Durant's pocket. But the exposure of the Credit Mobille had had an immediate impact at the railhead. I will not allow my men to be directed by a man who has not an honest drop of blood in his veins, and is connected to the railroad for the sole purpose of bleeding it dry. Dodge threatened to quit, unless Durant gave up his role in the construction. High in the Sierras Crocker's tactics had paid off. Starved of supplies the strikers returned to work. Only a few feet of rock now separated the two sections of tunnel in the heart of the mountain. Finally after five years the light at the end of the tunnel. After digging in opposite direction for over sixteen hundred feet the tunnels were just two inches out of line. We did it damn it, damn it we did it. The completion of the summit tunnel was a watershed in the shopkeepers' fortunes. The worst was now behind them. Regular train services were now running through the Sierras. At last there was an alternative to the wagon trains. Men, women and children would no longer die crossing the mountains. But the race was not over yet. There was still hundreds of miles of wilderness between the two railroads. The Union Pacific was still mired in scandal. With the men idle Durant had no option but to agree to Dodge's demands. The affair has been settled amicably. I have no further comment to make. Dodge could now get on with building the railroad. The two routes were fast converging, and congress finally drew a line where they would meet, Promontory Point in Utah. It now became a race not for money but for prestige. Who would be the first to reach the finishing post? In the twelve months after breaking through the Sierras, Crocker's Chinese labourers laid three hundred miles of track across Nevada. We've now got this track laying down to an exact science. There's no where in the world, no one, not the French, not the British, not even Grenville Dodge can do it as well as we do. The shopkeepers were now racing across the salt flats of Utah. And Dodge was heading through the one gap he had found in the Rockies. After six years they were just fifty miles apart, and racing flat out for the finishing post. Close to their goal the Chinese labourers set an historic record. In a single day they laid an astonishing ten miles of track. Dodge too was setting a remarkable pace. The two companies were neck and neck, anyone could win. On April 30th 1869 a single train crossed the finishing line at Promontory Point. Six years and seven hundred miles after spreading the first shovel of earth in Sacramento the shopkeepers had reached their goal. We're now waiting on the Union Pacific, I have been reliably informed they've been delayed by rain. It would be two days before the Union Pacific finally arrived at Promontory. On May 10th 1869 the two rival companies were face to face. A single length of track apart, at the end of the line. And in a symbolic gesture of unity that last length of track was laid by a team, from each railroad. Done. I can't believe we did it. I know we did it, hell I was there for the best part of it. But damn I don't know how we did it. I know we would have never done it if it hadn't been for these men. And I don't forget that I was opposed to the notion of employing them in the first place. This railroad, this nation owes these men a great debt, and I sure as hell hope we don't forget it, because I know I won't. Where we're standing now I feel in a sense it was nothing here but the path of wild deer. And now a thousand wheels roll, on their axles will be carried the wealth of half the world. I think by this day's work we've changed the commerce and finance of the whole world. We have finished the job that Christopher Columbus started. What had started as a shovel of earth in a small town in California had become the world's first transcontinental railroad. It had taken six years, claimed the lives of over two thousand men, and changed the course of American history. But a single line of track now stretched across America from the Atlantic to the Pacific. Two thousand miles of wilderness have been opened to settlement. A journey which had taken six months by wagon train and cost the lives of tens of thousands of immigrants could now be completed in just seven days. Lincoln was dead but his dream was a reality. It was now truly the United States of America. "It`s a long way down a Holiday Road" "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick "Going to take a ride to the West Coast, kids "Holiday Road! "Holiday Road! "Holiday Road! "Holiday Road! "I found out long ago "It`s a long way down a Holiday Road "Holiday Road! "Holiday Road! clark GriswoId. I`m trading my wife`s old car in. Say good-bye to the old gas-guzzIer, Russ! It`s pretty exciting, isn`t it, Rusty? What is? Picking up the new car! You can`t wait, can you? Hi there, Ed! Good to see you, Mr. GriswoId! -How`re you doing? Ruben, right? -Rusty. Look at him. He can`t wait. So, did you bring your trade-in? Yes, a guy just took it away a few seconds ago. well, Iet`s get to it, then. We were afraid the new car hadn`t come in yet. We`re on our way to california in the morning big vacation, the whole family, walley world.... -WaIIey world? Very exciting, clyde. -clark. well, there she is. Where? Right here. The wagon. Dad, this is not the car you ordered! Take it easy, Rusty. Ed, this is not the car I ordered. I distinctly ordered the Antarctic blue Super Sportswagon with the CB and the optional rally fun pack. You didn`t order the metallic Pea? metallic Pea? No, Antarctic blue. The Sportswagon. This isn`t even the right model! I think you`re right. I don`t think this is the car. This is the new Wagonqueen family Truckster. This is a fine automobile, if you want my honest opinion. It beats the hell out of the Sportswagon but I want to make you happy. Davenport! I`II get to the bottom of this. Mr. GriswoId ordered a blue Sportswagon. Where is it? I don`t know, sir. I know what must have happened! It didn`t come in! Ed, I`m not your ordinary, everyday fool. Okay? I`d like my Antarctic blue Super Sportswagon right now. If you can`t get it for me, I`m going to take my business elsewhere! Where`s my old car? I`m just as upset as you are. believe me. Davenport! Get Mr. GriswoId`s car back! Bring it back here! I can get you the wagon, there`s no problem there. The problem is, it might take six weeks. I owe it to myself to tell you, Mr. GriswoId if you`re thinking of taking the tribe cross-country this is the automobile you should be using. The Wagonqueen family Truckster. You think you hate it now, but wait `tiII you drive it. I don`t want to drive it. I just want my old car back, okay? I`m not falling for this bit. No way. Let`s go, Russ. clark, is that the right car? No, it isn`t, honey. I changed my mind. They flattened our old car like a pancake. Are you serious? Is this really our car, Dad? What happened? I thought we were going to get the little Sportswagon. Oh, no! The Sportswagon`s much too small. Besides, I got a great deal on this one. If we`re taking the whole tribe cross-country believe me, this is your automobile. Why is it still running? Oh, all new cars do that. I`II take care of that in a second. You may think you hate it now, but wait until you drive it. An air bag! You know, clark, it`s not too late to fly out to california. We only have two weeks. Let`s not get into that again, sweetie pie. please? Lots of families fly, clark. especially cross-country. The whole idea of a family vacation is to be together as a family. On a plane, you put on earphones and you`re lost in your own world. It`s a very long ride, clark. I`m looking forward to a Iong ride. You get to see the kids all the time! I see them two minutes in the morning two minutes in the evening and maybe three hours on the weekend. Someday I`II wake up and realize my little babies are all grown up! And then what? I just thought it might be easier to fly. Nothing worthwhile is easy, ellen. We know that. Kids? Who wants to see the trip plan? Dad, we`re playing! Okay, shut off the video games. Come on, Russ. Shut it off. I know you`II enjoy this. I worked out the trip on the computer so that we get the maximum amount of fun time at WaIIey world without missing any of the good stuff along the way. Here we go! There`s us. And there`s WaIIey world! Now, Iet`s just take a look at Day One. shall we? Honey, come on in! We`re going to do Day One! Now, there`s the family Truckster as we leave Chicago. Rusty, please, do not eat the Truckster! Russ, do you mind? I`m trying to work this out here on the computer. Okay, Audrey. Thank you, Audrey. That`s just great. Look out, Dad, here I come. AII right, that`s enough, Russ. Now, I think we`re moving further-- Good shot, Audrey. Dad, I forgot. Why aren`t we flying? Because getting there is half the fun! You know that! I turned off the water, the stove, the heat and the air locked the door, notified the police, stopped the papers. I called to get the grass cut. Did I put the timers on the Iiving-room lights? Don`t forget the mail.... So long! Drive careful now, clark! Watch those freeways! Good-bye! I know I`ve forgotten something. WaIIey world, here we come! "Mockingbird, tell me "Everybody "Have you heard? "He`s gonna buy me "A mockingbird "And if that mockingbird don`t sing "He`s gonna buy me a diamond ring "And if that diamond ring don`t shine "He`s surely gonna break this heart of mine "And that`s why I keep on singin` "Did you hear now...." Come on, kids. We don`t know your songs! Is that made-up? It sounds made-up! I got one! How about The WaIIey world national Anthem? Okay, you start it. "Who`s the moosiest moose we know? Marty Moose! "Who`s the star of our favorite show? Marty Moose! "`M` is for merry, we`re merry, you see "`O` is for `O` gosh! `O` goIIy! `O` gee! "`S` is for super-sweII family glee "`E` is for everything you want to be "M-A-R-T-Y "M-O-O-S-E "What`s that spell? "Marty Moose, Marty Moose, Marty Moose "That`s me! " AII right! That`s more like it! Here`s one you don`t know. We used to sing it when you`re kids. "Jimmy crack corn and I don`t care" "Swing low "Sweet chariot "Comin` for to carry me home "I Iooked over Jordan and what did I see? "Comin` for to carry me home" What smells in here? Russ! Russ! Your feet. Isn`t this the gas tank? Yes, I know, honey. Get in the car. I`m just fixing the license plate. Do you see that, kids? That`s the St. Louis Arch. "The Gateway to the West. " It`s over 600-feet tall, and there`s an elevator all the way to the top. That`s 60 stories to you and me. Dad, can we go up on it? No. Dad, what river is this? That`s the Mississippi. The mighty Mississip. "The old Miss." "The old Man." Clark, I think this is the wrong exit. What`s the difference, as long as we get across the river? clark? What are you doing? Just relax, ellen. This is so dangerous! We have no business being in an area like this! This is a part of America we never get to see. That`s good! No, that`s bad. We can`t close our eyes to the plight of the cities. Kids, are you noticing all this plight? This will just make us appreciate what we have. roll them up! I`d better ask these fellas how to get back on the expressway. I wonder if you could tell me how to get back on the expressway? Fuck your mama! Thank you very much! Hey, excuse me? What it is, bro`! We`re from out of town. No shit? I`d really appreciate it if you could give me directions back onto the expressway. What? For free? Sure. Five dollars. I`m not going to give you $5 for directions! I think that`s fair, clark. Okay. Here`s $10. Keep the change. You see which way you`re pointing? You see that place? You see where it says, "Rib Tips"? Fuck that. You don`t want to go that way. I wonder if these guys know The Commodores. You go down about half a block and you`II see a Torino with no wheels on it. Inside that Torino is my cousin, Jackie. tell him that you`re my boy, and you`re lost. He`II make sure you get where you`re going. You don`t want to know from me. This ain`t my neighborhood. I`m from the west side of Chicago, here on vacation. Thanks a Iot. You`ve been a great help. "I`m Mister Blue "When you say you love me.... " Honey? This reminds me of the time in college when we drove to Fort lauderdale in my Austin HeaIy. I haven`t thought about that for a Iong time. Remember what we did in the car? It`s amazing we didn`t get in an accident. Want to relive a fond memory? Are you serious? No! Why not? Because, that`s why. The kids are asleep. Let`s just wait `tiII we get to a motel. Okay, we`II wait. I`II find the best one on the road. Do you want to put your head in my lap? That`s not what I was thinking. The wheel. There you go, out of your way. Comfy? clark? My head`s stuck. Quit kidding around! It hurts! It`s stuck. Cut it out! I know what you`re trying to do, and I think it`s sick! The wheeI`s stuck! That was a dirty trick! The damn wheel is all screwed up. You`re tired. You get weird when you get tired. Let`s just find a motel. I don`t want you dozing off. I`m not tired. Are you kidding? I couId go another 100 miles. No problem. "I stay at home at night "By the phone at night "But you don`t call "And I won`t hurt my pride "Call me Mister Blue "I`m Mister Blue without you" Sparky, why don`t you turn off the TV and come to bed? Okay, honey. well, up and at `em. We`re here. clark! Can I do your back, honey? I`ve already done my back. Can I do your front? Go do your own front. We should call Catherine and Eddie and tell them that we won`t be in until tomorrow afternoon. If we`re not there by 10:00 a.m., we`II be completely off-scheduIe. I planned very carefully so we`d be at WaIIey world first thing Saturday morning. Sparky, I know how much this trip means to you and that you want all of us to have a great time, but it`s a Iong way to WaIIey world. I think it`d be easier on all of us if you`d just try to relax. I`m way ahead of you, honey. When did you get these? I have my little secrets. What a nice thought. Don`t drink yet! Ready? I would Iike to propose a toast. Here`s to a very restful vacation. Here`s to a very relaxing vacation a renewed love affair and a time of joy with our kids. You know, I`ve never told you this. I know it`s been a rough beginning. I think there`s something wrong here! It`s the bed. It will slow down in a second. I got it! hold on to this. Enjoy it. What are you doing? Let`s try this, my darling. We haven`t done this in a Iong time. Oh! clark! What`s that noise? What`s going on? Don`t you kids knock anymore? Sorry, we thought you were fighting. Nobody is fighting in here. It`s very late. Where is Mom? I`m under here, kids. Go back to bed. Go back to bed, now. The bed was very soft. "Weird-o-rama! " This is the same street Wyatt Earp kept law and order on. It seems kind of dirty and touristy. The Old West was dirty. Everything isn`t like home. If it were, there`d be no reason for leaving home. Right, Rusty? Yeah, Dad. This is great. I`m glad we didn`t go to Hawaii. I`ll bet you are. Let`s go get a drink. Howdy, city slickers! welcome! No fighting, cussing or gunsIinging. Watch what you say to our bartender. He`s an ornery cuss. Thank you, Sheriff. marshal. Sorry. No sweat. Give me five, partner! That guy was a crummy Wyatt Earp! He`s wearing jogging shoes! They used to, Rusty. Hey, knuckIehead! Set us up with four redeyes, will you? Hey, yeIIow-beIIy! I`m talking to you! Hey, tenderfoot! Move your chicken wings, turkey! clark! That`s not nice! It`s part of the act, honey. Hey, underpants! I`m okay! I`m okay! I`m all right! That wasn`t funny! A noise like that could impair the kids` hearing. It was real! It looked real, didn`t it? I thought it was real gun. Didn`t it look real when I fell down? What? Didn`t it look real? What? Are you happy now, clark? She`s deaf. What`s the difference? It was fun anyway. Let`s have a drink. Pardon me, sir? Catherine said we just stay on 50. I was thinking of shooting over to 54 and zipping down to liberal. What for? The House of Mud. What`s that? The largest freestanding mud dwelling ever built! The pioneers didn`t have bricks, so they used mud. They didn`t use mud, they used sod! Right, Audrey. When they ran out of sod, they used mud! Let`s skip The House of Mud. Dodge City was enough for one day. Catherine and Eddie are expecting us. It`s living history. But, if you`d rather see your cousins it`s okay by me. personally, I`d rather see a pile of mud than Eddie. Knock it off! What`s going on? Rusty is licking his hand and touching me with it! tell Rusty to behave himself. Rusty, behave yourself! Audrey is eating candy and smiling with it stuck all over her teeth! Audrey, eat with you mouth closed! No eating in the car, kids! You suck, you know that? Retard! I am trying to concentrate on the road! "I`ve had some lonely nights "And I`ll admit I cried sometimes "Cause you were out of my life "But then you called my name "And you came back again "I feel so inspired "Kissing your lips of fire "Little boy sweet, little boy sweet "Sweet little boy of mine "Come a little closer" You`re doing 80 miles an hour! Doesn`t seem like it. slow down! I don`t know why. We`re making good time. "Love for sale "Appetizing, yummy love...." They`re here! Eddie, come on! I can`t believe it! Eddie, you look terrific. Come and meet your second cousins! Look how they`ve grown! You have lost weight, Catherine! She`s added a few more mouths to the litter. Rusty and Audrey, cousins Vicki and dale. And this is Eddie Junior and Junior. The little one hanging on my skirt is Daisy-MabeI. How old are you, little one? She was born without a tongue, clark. But, don`t worry about her. She whistles like a bird and eats like a horse. Take your little guests out back and show them your worm farm. ellen, come in the house. I`ve got so much to tell you. Look at that car! That`s the family Truckster. Boy, she`s a beaut! I Iike those green walls. We had some trouble in St. Louis. You`re looking really fit. This is the old homestead. Yeah, I don`t know for how long, though. The bank`s been after me like flies on a rib roast. I know the feeling. Fuck it! I bet you could use a cool one? Now you`re talking. I`m going steady. And I French kiss. So? Everyone does that. Yeah, but Daddy says I`m the best. Want a worm? No, thanks. Do you have Pac-Man? No. Space Invaders? No. Do you have Asteroids? No, but my dad does. He can`t even sit on the toilet some days. What do you do here, dale? well, I have a stack of nudie books this high. She`s beautiful! would you sell me any of them? Shit, no! I cherish these things! I use them a Iot! How do you use a magazine? I was getting to that. A guy taught me something really neat, last year. Did you ever bop your baloney? I guess we`re 1 1, aren`t we? No, we`re 12 with Aunt Edna. Aunt Edna? Is she still alive? You bet! I can`t wait to see the look on CIark`s face when he hears that. She came to help when Eddie ruptured his spleen and she`s been here ever since. She wanted to go back to Phoenix last year but Eddie wouIdn`t let her. Without her social Security, we`d never be able to live like this. It looks like you`ve really got your hands full. It`s not so bad! Eddie says after the baby comes, I can quit one of my night jobs. How do you Iike yours, clark? Medium-rare, a little pink inside. No, your bun! Light or dark? Either way, it doesn`t matter. Vicki, can I help you with that KooI-Aid? please? I don`t know why they call this "Hamburger helper! " It does just fine by itself. I Iike it better than Tuna helper, don`t you, clark? You`re the gourmet, Ed. No meat in this? You get plenty of meat at home. Be polite. Have some ketchup. real tomato ketchup, Eddie? Nothing but the best! Aunt Edna! HeIper`s getting cold. Is that your Aunt Edna? Aunt Edna! After all these years! You`re looking so good! Hi, Edna! Nice to see you again! - Albert-- Whose baby is it? I'm sorry. Uh, we no longer have a claim against the clinic, so... Elaine. Esther. Bob. I didn't know there was a board meeting today. You know, it's funny. Looking at these old cases makes me wonder-- did we make a dimerence? I mean, çan we make a dimerence? Are we butte_ly wings? Are we the wind? It's like the horses. You try to figure out which one's the best fit for the track, runs harder, or prettier. But when you admit that it's chaotic-- Alvin, thank you. We can talk after the meeting. I can take it from here. Yeah, you'll, uh-- Give you, what, a half hour or so? Probably. Right. Uh, I might be gone by then. But, uh, maybe not. Let's just see. Right. Let's just see. Now, this essay about why I want to be Samantha's dad. Um, should I read it to you? [knock on door] I think I'm going to head out to the track. - Mind telling Lulu for me? - OK. Thanks. Can I read this to you? Uh, no, that's fine. There's this part in it about my sponsor, if you think that's OK. Um... Your sponsor? Yeah, how he said it's OK for me to be in a relationship-- have a relationship, you know? I mean, you're supposed to wait a little while, make sure you're ready. Uh...we should go. Lulu, Alvin wanted me to tell you he's gone to the track. Hey, do you have a second? Yeah. I'll be right there. I think that Alvin's trying to get me to fire him. Do it. [sighs] - Are you busy with that case? - Yeah. Well, I heard that woman died when you were there. I mean, I didn't think about your mother. That's not important. - l should've thought about it. - l'm fine. Well, I'm sorry, Nick, to have to send you there. Thank you. Ready? One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. One--and make a little turn. And that turns into a box step. - Hi. - Hey. No, don't stop. That was excellent, sweetheart. She's learning the fo_rot as well. Oh, great, great. So, you want to-- you want to dance? - Burton. - No? I've got to-- My homework, OK? OK. That was, um-- That was nice of you. No problem. She's a good dancer. Yes, she is. I'm sorry we made a mess. Oh, no, don't worry about that. So, what do you think about Shannon? Well, l-- l think that she's-- She has good instincts, but she's, um-- she's at least a grade behind, and she can-- she has a way with the truth. [chuckles] A way with the truth, right. Listen, if you're asking me if it's too... Too late? It's never that, Mr. Fallin. Never. Never that. So, you want to-- you want to stay? - Yes. - Good. Good. Thank you. She's, um-- she's really excited about this dance. A night out with you, a new dress. She's really excited. Do you want to call me Dad or Jim? Dad. I think Dad's nice. Yeah. And you? Um, are you Samantha or Sam? Samantha. You've just--you've just grown up so beautifully, you know? - l have? - Yeah. You should see me. I'm kind of goofy-looking? Ha ha! Lucky for you, you look like your mom. You think Mom was pretty? Yes, she was. She was really pretty. Do you mind if l-- What? Can you lean toward me? is that allowed? Here. You're not that bad. [laughs] I got both my eyes, my nose, my mouth. [clicks] All my teeth. Me, too. Yeah. Samantha, um, about everything-- You don't have to say anything. Well, let me--let me-- l did this to you. And if nothing else comes of this, at least you can finally hear me say how sorry I am. I'm--l'm really sorry, honey. [crying] I'm sorry. She doesn't belong there. I mean, it's for retarded people. She doesn't belong in that place. Samantha signed a consent form. - Do you understand? - Yeah. Are you ready for the hearing? About that--do you think I could make it home before Thursday night? Thursday night? Yeah, there's this meeting I usually speak at back home in Bedford, and I just don't want to be in Pittsburgh any longer than I have to be. I don't think we can get it done that fast. Man, I just don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. What? I mean, you've seen her, you know? She's beautiful, and she's grown up, and my life is a joke. It's just-- l don't know. I don't-- [sighs] This is how I used to think about myself, I know. - l can do this, right? - Right. Because I'm better now, right? I can do this. I'm her daddy. I can do this. This is where l'm staying. Nice place. [laughs] Not really, but it's cheap. I live two hours away from here-- you know, in Bedford. - Do you know it? - No. Bedford's really nice. It's quiet, it's peaceful. Do you want to come up for a while, maybe watch a movie? No, no. I, uh-- l can buy you dinner. There's a nice diner down the street. Come on. There's a meeting I go to... over at the Calvary Church. - What? - It starts at 8: OO. All right. Hey. Oh, Burton, you caught me. Oh, no, that's all right. Shannon was upstairs, so I snuck a butt. Oh, OK. - You got another one? - Yeah, sure. Hey, Burton. Oh, honey, listen... one of my clients has a problem, so tonight might be a little tricky. I'm going to be there, - but just maybe a few minutes late. - Oh. Now, the good news is Nick is going to be able to drive you over there. - Nick? - Yeah. He's going to be your escort until I get there. You're going to have fun all the way around, OK? - Yeah. - All righty. See you soon. Bye. You wanted to see me? Yeah. Some bad news about Aaronson's wife. - What happened? - There was an accident. What did he do to her? It seems there was an argument. She fell down the stairs. Potentially a blow to the head before she fell. Potentially? - l don't have all the facts yet. - Is she all right? No, she's badly hurt. Her brain. They already arrested Albert. I sent Clay and Sadie down there. I'll have to go down there myself. I promised Shannon I'd take her to the Father-Daughter Dance at the club tonight. I have no idea how long l'll be with Albert, so-- Oh, Dad, Dad-- Just drive her over there, and I'll catch up. - Just drive her there? - Yeah, right. Samantha's case is up. All right. Where is he? I don't know. Well... she's up. Um... will you be OK here? His hotel room is just a block away. I'll be right back. I'm late. Your-- Your dad went home. So, um... your ne_ hearing is in 28 days. OK. And we will get you moved then. 28 days. That's when we'll move you. You said that. Mr. Aaronson. Hello, Nicholas. Did you see your dad outside? Yes, I did. Mr. Aaronson, uh... about Sarah-- Sarah? Your child. is there anyone that can take care of her? She's with a nanny. Well, legally, the biological father has rights. He does? Legally. But I'm prepared to help you if you-- What? If you wish to keep her. Oh. No. Thank you, no. Have you met the father? She said they were just friends. I even gave him a job at one of my stores. I gave that guy a job. Oh, Alvin? I'm on my way to the track. I'm up _3,OOO so far-- an astonishing run. Alvin, understand that if you choose not to do your job, then I will have to-- - What? Fire me? - Yes. I've already been fired, Lulu, trust me. I'm already dead to this place. Nick. Whose baby? This is Sarah Aaronson. The biological father doesn't want her. Mother's dead. I've got to go. Hey. Hey. Hi. Yeah, it's OK. - Call Social Services. - OK. I'll set up a shelter here. All right. I think this is the last one. So, uh... You know, uh, if you want... I can dance with you. If you want. Come on. ### Ripped by FabHawk ### Previously on E.R. - Well, then where's my brother? - They found his plane? - Intact. - Intact. Yeah. Tied down in a field outside of Sault Sainte Marie. He's my son. How can I wait? Welcome to the outside of the disease. I don't want Sean to suffer anymore. I don't wanna die. Then you should fight. With everything you have. - What do you want? - I want you to stop being so afraid. - I'm not afraid. - I'm want us to stop being so careful. - I'm just- - I wanna marry you! What? I wish the sun would rise already. This graveyard shift's going forever. You okay? I love you too, Carter, but it's over. I'm gonna ask her tonight. You're going to propose? Actually, I already did, but badly. - She said no? - She didn't say anything. But this time I'm gonna do it right. That is a nice rock. That was my great-grandmother's. Great-grandfather gave it to her the day he left for the Army. I don't think she'll mind that it's secondhand. Hey. You guys want something from Magoo's? My treat. - No, thanks. - No, I'm all right. - Hey, Luka. - Hey. You dispo Mr. Lindsey? - They took him up to Cards. - He'll be all right. - He's bounced back before. - Actually, he died. - Way to start the day, huh? - Yeah. Can I buy you some breakfast? Okay. So, what's that you're reading? The workplace sensitivity manual. Weaver wants me to learn it. - What's-? What's "schmuck"? - Schmuck? It's one of the inappropriate words. "Schmuck," "puts" - - No, I think you mean "putz." - Putz. "Peckerwood." Is that a tree? Hello? Anybody here? Hello? Oh, my God. Gray matter. No pulse. We should get the police. Oh, my God. Oh, God. GSW to the head. Exit wound through the spine. They're gone. Trina. Oh, my God. She's breathing. Go get help. Do you remember the Rileys? You guys stayed with them when you were about 10 or so. Yeah, they had a cabin up by Mount Lutsen. Yeah. Eric used to call Sonia "Gammy." - Grammy. - Grammy. Whatever. Maybe he went there. Maybe. They were really good with you when things were bad. They - They took you fishing. - Remember? - Yeah, in Grand Rapids. - At Grand Rapids. - I cut my finger. Yeah, with a hook. Eric caught this great, big old smelly fish. He acted like he found gold, for God's sakes. - He'll be okay, Mom. - I know. I should pack. - Is that John? - No. It's work, but guess what. He asked me to marry him. Really? Well, he didn't really mean it. I mean, it was - We were on the roof it was freezing, there was a helicopter flying around, and he was kind of shouting it at me. It's every girl's dream, right? - What'd you say? - Nothing. Really, because, you know, he didn't mean it. It just - It was just something that happened. I don't know. Hi, it's Abby. What? Oh, my God. Was anybody there? No, from the ER. Okay. I'll be right in. - What's the matter? - I - I have to go. But come by the hospital later, and I'll give you a ride to the bus station. Okay. Or you could stay a few more days. No, I - I have to get back to work. Be here waiting in case he shows up. What if he shows up in Minnesota? You're right. Nothing confirmed. Looks like you got multiple shooters on the loose. - She's dropping her sats. - Keep those people away from the building. Can we talk to her now in case she can't later? Setting up for multiple traumas. How many? - One. - Three were pronounced on the scene. - Luka, let me take this. - It's okay, I got it. Officer, make sure these cars don't block that entrance. - Breathe for us, Trina. - Tracheal shift. Hold up. Her lung is down. - Sats, only 88. - Miss, can you describe who did this? - Decreased on the right. - Needle her. - Want me to do it? - No, 18 gauge. How many were there? You' re gonna get your ID as soon as she's stable, I promise. She's not moving air. No pulse. Try the other side. - No, pull the dressing off. - What? The dressing on the chest wound, pull it off. - Okay, pulse is stronger. - Good chest excursions. All right, let's get her inside. Luka? Just need a minute. Dr. Lewis, patron saint of lost causes. - GSW to head and chest. - Tension pneumo. One's clear. Hey. You all right? Yeah. I'm a little nauseous. It takes me a couple days to get back up to terminal. - What's going on? - There was a shooting across the street. - Anybody you know? - No, but still. - Kind of scary when it happens so close. - Yeah. So I heard you' re getting released today. My next round of chemotherapy's in about two days, so I thought I'd come by, say so long. - How's your mom doing? - You mean is she still pissed at you? No, I didn't mean exactly that, but... - She's still pissed at you. - Good to know. She's upstairs with the "doc." Does she know you' re here? I kind of snuck off. I actually might need one of those basins. I think you need some IV Compazine. - That sounds good. - All right. I'll go tell your mom you' re here. Will you watch him for a minute? I'm not a child. Yeah, Marky! Yeah, Marky! - Yeah! Oh, yeah! - Come on, man. Come on. - I got this corner ball. - Let's go. Come on. - Let's go. - What you trying to do? - What you doing, man? - It's our ball. Back up! Hey, back up! Hey, man, it's all right. We got this. - I'm all right. Come on. - David. - Let's go. - Come on. It's game point anyway. - Let's get these clowns out of here. - Play ball! Let's do it. Come on, come on. Yo, watch it, bitch! It's a man's game. Come on, man. What, you wanna go? Forget about it. We won. Let's get some breakfast. Come on. - Next week. - That's what I thought. - I thought you were on later. - I heard what happened. - I thought we might need help. - Actually, we only got the one. Three went straight to the morgue. - Sorry I didn't come by last night. - It's okay. Maggie and I played Scrabble. I got a 75-point word. - Really? - "Cyanotic." She challenged it. ...found brutally murdered early this morning inside of this establishment. Doc Magoo's a diner frequented by staff and visitors of County General Hospital. The crime was committed prior to opening as the staff was preparing for a day of serving the usual sandwiches and sodas. What got served instead was a cold-blooded robbery-homicide in which four people were murdered execution-style. - One of them's still alive. - Police are trying to identify suspects. - More on the story later. - Any word on Eric? I don't expect any. It's like a bear hibernating. He won't come out till spring. Hey, what do you say we go out tonight? Sushi. Just you and me. - Maggie can fend for herself. - Told her I'd drive her to the bus station. - She's leaving? - Yep. - Is that a good thing? - I don't know. It was kind of nice having a roommate. Sushi? I hope you have a better plan than that. It's all about misdirection. I don't wanna show my hand too early. Well, the two of you have had enough misdirection. Trust me, show your hand. Move your toes, Trina. Good. - O-neg's here. - Put it right on the infuser. Trina, do you remember anything? They started shooting. They just started shooting. Threading the catheter. Wire back. - What'd she say? - Hook me up. - Ten blade. - Trina, how many of them were there? Two, in an SUV. I saw them drive up. - Another 50 of fent. - Knife back. - Curved Kelly. - I might have seen them getting away. Anything more specific? It was a 4x4, gold or tan maybe. It looked pretty new. Anything about the men? Height? Weight? - What they were wearing? - It was far away. Into pleural space. Tube. Chen? OpSite and Polysporin. Tube's in. Hook up the Thora-Seal. Any detail would help us. Sats are back up, 91. - Were they Latinos? Black guys? - I don't know. It happened so fast. Let's page Corday. Hey, Trina, you did really good. Rest up now, okay? For us to get to work here, we need a real description. I saw one of them. I think he was black. Driver, get out nice and calm. Face the vehicle. - Welcome to the ' hood. - Passenger, come around to this side. Face the vehicle. Put your hands up on the roof. Grab the roof. Hey, man, take it easy. License and registration's in the glove. - Hey, what are we being stopped for? - Easy. Where'd you get money for a ride like this? We' re doctors at County. - Where you headed in a hurry? - Y'all can't just do this. Just be quiet. I see you guys brought a lot of pals. What's the deal? - Four people shot this morning in a diner. - What diner? We were just up at the Sedgwick Y in a pickup game. Call the gym manager. Why don't you search the car and let us get the hell out of here? All right, go ahead. See, that's my boss right now. Somebody's very sick. Look, we' re late for our shift. Dealers got shifts now, huh? - We are doctors, damn it. - Relax, punk. No, wait a minute, I can explain that. I can explain! Get on the ground right now, or I'll put a bullet in your damn head. Cuff them. You belong to the Y? I play ball there twice a week. Who do you play with? I don't remember their names. Some live up the street from Greg. - You show proof to the arresting officers? - Yeah, they took my ID. I told the arresting officer my ID was in the glove. Did you ever hear of a place called Magoo's? I work right across the street. Yes. We work right across the street from it. Did you ever own a firearm? I already told you no. No, I've never owned a firearm. Why are you hassling me? Just call County. - Where'd you say you were? - You know, I told you where I was. - What kind of a doctor are you? - I'm a med - I'm a med student. I'm a med student. What difference does that make? - What kind of doctor are you? - I told you what I am. Look, we brought you in because you match the ID. Because I match the ID. What? Young, black and handsome? That's - No, that's ridiculous. I'll send them over immediately. Jerry. - Do we have photo IDs down here? - Yeah, bottom shelf. Messenger off personnel face sheets for Pratt and Gallant to Area Seven Headquarters. - Really? Why? - Just do it. Susan, Sean Simmons is being discharged to home hospice care. - I know, the cancer's back. - While he's here waiting the mother has asked that you keep your distance. - What? - She doesn't want you interacting with her son. What does Sean say? She's a grieving mother. I think we need to respect her wishes. Look, we should get their names or something. How else are we gonna file a complaint against them? Why don't you just be quiet? Story checked out at the Y. County confirmed you' re employed there. It's not like we didn't tell you guys that. You can pick up your stuff at the front desk. Have a nice day. Is her crit stable? Holding at 29 with two units in. Luka, if you wanna take it easy for a while we can keep you out of the trauma rooms assign you to non-critical-care cases. If you need me anywhere, Kerry, you need me in here. We all have times where we could use a little less stress. I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with admitting that you need some help. I don't. Even so, I've scheduled a meeting with Dr. Meyers up on seven. It's a formality. Unless you wanna make it something more. But it's mandatory. You shouldn't have let them search the car. That's what you do when you' re innocent. I don't usually ride around with a bloody shirt. - You guys hear what happened? - I thought none of our people got hurt. Jing-Mei was first on the scene. - Is she okay? - A little freaked. I don't get it, man, how you could just roll over. - That's the way it works sometimes. - Yeah, if you let it. - What are you gonna do, file a lawsuit? - That's one way to fight it. - There is no fighting it. - You know, I don't buy that. Carter wants the output on Bed 4 before he leaves. Look, we could be perfect, you know, like Gandhi. But as soon as the crap goes down, we'll be the first ones laid out with a gun to our head. Now, where I grew up, you see it every day. And if it happens to you enough, you get the message. You are not equal. You are not a full citizen. You are first, last and, above all, one thing and one thing only: A suspect. You sure you wanna wait out here? Yeah, there's too many sick people in there. - Thanks. - You' re welcome. Hey. Cold enough for you? My mom went ahead to help set up stuff for the home hospice team. - Then she'll be coming to pick me up. - I think you' re doing the right thing. I think it doesn't matter what you think. I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm so pissed at you. Guess it all just feels so much more real now. I keep daydreaming about the stuff that I wanted to do. Get really drunk at a college party. Go windsurfing. Get married and have kids. Stupid stuff like that. It's not stupid. Even after I got really sick I kept talking myself into believing that I had more time. At least enough to do some of those things. Sean Simmons? You know what? Hold on a second. Sean, I can't get you into college, and windsurfing's nuts. But you know what? Come on, let's get out of here. - For real? - Yeah, come on. Not unless you have someplace else to go. - I'm supposed to get him home. - Yeah, could you call his mom for us? - Tell her we went on a date. - I'll have him back by curfew. Maybe. Say maybe. Abby. Abby. Listen, I got ahold of Sonia Riley and I told her to call you here if she hears from Eric. I'll keep my eye open for messages. Can you get this banana bag to that guy? My leg-splint girl's screaming. The Soupbox for lunch? Oh, you' re busy. We could go to that place across the street. - That's not really a good idea today. - Abby. Triage needs extra bodies. They got 20 kids from Kelton Elementary with vomiting and diarrhea. I'll be there in five minutes. Abby. Abby, it's okay. I can get to the bus station by myself. No, I'll take you. I'll take you. Mr. Levine, what's your problem? I just got drunk at a Valentine's Day party. - Five days ago. - Yeah, it was a blowout. - I wanted to tell you- - Hey. No. Why did you take that out? It was itchy. - Altered mental status. - Abby, send up admit labs two sets of blood cultures, and grab an LP tray. - Meningitis? - Let's find out. - I'm sorry. - It's okay, I'll call you when I get home. Okay. - Bye. - Bye. Nurses shortage, you know. Working in the ER can be a very inconvenient job sometimes. I'm sorry, John. I just wanted Eric to come home so bad so that I could be with my family just for a second. Abby and I were getting along so well. You should stay longer. - You know, she would love it. - I'm sorry. Thank you, John. I can catch a cab out here, right? I'm off in a couple of minutes. I'll drive you. - Really? - Yeah. Dr. Kovac. Dr. Meyers. Please. So, what brings you here? Dr. Weaver. She told me to come. Well, why do you suppose she wanted us to meet? - You tell me. - Well, that's not quite how it works. Hey, you' re a doctor. Someone comes to me with a problem, I tell them how to fix it, so... - Let's start with you telling me- - My problem? What's on your mind? My family died during the war in Croatia. So I came to America. I had a relationship with someone I cared about, which I then ruined. So I started to look for the answers in the wrong places. You know, like sex, drinking, living fast. I killed a patient I should have saved, then I almost killed a medical student in a car crash, so- Woke up one morning and everything I thought I had was gone. Gone or broken. So, what do you have for that? Well, Dr. Kovac, it's not something that I can really- Yeah, that's what I thought. I should get back to work. Tell Weaver I showed up. Further complicating the commute, a high-speed chase is underway snarling a two-mile stretch of the I-40. Police are in pursuit of a tan SUV suspected of being connected to the grisly murders of three people early this morning in a coffee shop off South Foundry. - A fourth victim... - Do they consider the collateral damage of a pursuit like that? They' re hoping they kill them, avoid the wasted time and money of due process. They might have the wrong suspects. Last time I checked, the police were still on our side. - Well, what exactly is our side? - Tell her what happened. They laid us out on the sidewalk, they took us in, and they interrogated us. - That's terrible. - The real problem is you guys are guilty. - Guilty of what? - DWB. Driving while black. Just forget it. The police play the odds just like us. They look for horses, not zebras. Tell me you don't think that's the same thing. Look, it's about percentages. Last time I flew to London they pulled two Arab men out of line for a security check. I hate to admit it, it made me feel more secure. You think they'd pull over two Arabs driving through Highland Park? No, because terrorist acts in Highland Park aren't high on the list of concerns. But violent crime by African-Americans certainly is. Like I said, we should drop it. So you really believe racial profiling is a legitimate law-enforcement tool? A lot of people do. - Hey. - Hey. I don't know whose day's been worse, yours or mine. - You okay? - Yeah. You? I never thought I'd see something like that. It's different when they roll in on a gurney. Yeah, but you stepped up. That's all that counts. I did my job. At least we saved one of them. - So I heard she gave an ID. - Partial one. I filled in some details. What, you saw the guys? A glimpse as they drove off. - They were black, huh? - I think so. You think so? Well, it was quick, you know? But- And I only saw one of them. So that's why the cops are picking up brothers all over town. I told them what I saw. What you saw, or what you thought you saw? I was trying to help, Greg. Can't you see you fed right into what they always wanna jump to? Look, I'm really sorry for what happened to you, but that's on the cops, not me. It's all part of the same thing. What are you talking about? - I don't know. - So, what, now I'm a racist? It's just hard not to feel that everybody is when you' re lying in the street with a cop's foot to the back of your neck. I've never seen it like this. It's okay, there will be a later bus. Yeah. That's not your music, that's Abby's. She always liked that noise. I'm getting used to it. There's an accident up ahead. Sit tight, we'll keep you posted. - Thank - Thank you. - Thanks. - Well... - Thank you for this, John. - I know it's a huge inconvenience. - It's no problem. I'm sorry for getting so upset. I hate being so pathetic. Just the idea of going home alone and waiting... - Eric will turn up. - Yeah. Yeah, but I worry about both of them. Abby's good. You know, we' re both good. You don't have to worry about that. She told me. She told me you might get married. - Is that what she said? - No, she told me you proposed. I know she's work, it runs in the family, but she's so worth it. Yeah. Yeah. I spend 23 hours a day wondering whether we' re wrong for each other. Wondering whether we've got the energy that we need to get through everything that we seem to get into. Whether the baggage we both bring would sink a small ship. But in the 24th hour, I realize I've been thinking about her for 23 hours. And I come back to, there's something about her that I can't stay away from. Something about her that makes me wanna love her. Julia, my sister, read this story about a little Japanese girl who had cancer. And she tried to make a thousand paper cranes because she thought if she did, it would make her wish come true. - What was her wish? - To get better. So how many paper cuts do you have? A lot. But my wish is kind of different. What is it? It's hard to explain. I kiss pretty good for a dead kid, huh? Not bad at all. Cop wounded in a multi-car collision. BP, 124/68, pulse, 96, good sats. Jing-Mei, take him in. I'll wait on the next. - Find the guys? - The guys opened fire. - We have a bunch of cops hurt. - Mitch Palnick, 41-year-old officer. MVA with passenger-space intrusion. - Can't breathe. - Hey, nice to see you again. - You know him? - He wears Florsheims, rubber-soled. - Isn't that right? - Correct. He's got a couple of fractured ribs, maybe his sternum too. Set up for a chest tube. Pratt. Trauma panel, type and cross four units. - He could've bagged his spleen. - Look, I'll get the other one. - We need you here. - We'll be there. - Now, Gallant. - It's cool. It's not cool. Hurry the hell up. - Come on, let's go. - You've got two doctors. That's enough. We've got a critical patient who needs rapid assessment and prompt treatment. What's the matter? Forget what happened earlier and do your job. - I - I can't help that guy. - This is what we do, all right? Now, get your ass in there. Come on. Come on. John, it's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Marriage can be a great thing. - Can be. - Yeah. What the hell do I know? Mine failed. For many reasons. Politics took care of that. Same goes for flags. He doesn't even weave them. Still, he designs them. He's part of the process as geopolitics, seamtresses. No more, no less. So artists are vessels? He asked me to be his assistant. - Doing it? - I don't know. It's a tough decision. Afghanistan is far. Make it to Nepal? Kabul was the end of that trip. We had to get back. Why? Is it a secret? I brought my drawings... to the editors of "Parapluie. " They have a band called "Fille Qui Mousse". They want collages for their light show. Waste of time. Isn't there better to do? Like what? Like your paintings. You're starting out, like me. You have progress to make. I don't have much time. I prefer to draw. You're wrong. I preferred your paintings. Will you show them to me? I'd rather not. They're not me anymore. I couldn't say why. Here it is. The guard dropped charges. I forgot about him. Good for Jean-Pierre. For you too, right? Stay as long as you want. Leslie's friends are away till June. They teach at Brown. Can you shut off the engine? They're filming. What movie? I heard it's Maigret. Is Jean Richard here? Make sure there's hot tea in Jean's trailer tomorrow. Don't worry. He said you forgot. Graciously, but he said it. Don't worry. Here's the transparency. This is nice. Okay, we keep it. And "No More Brain", third. With slogans like this... Victory for the people's struggle! You could have waited. I couldn't. I had to be here for the end of the show. Our comrades think the theater owner is cheating them. So you count the spectaros? To catch him. Coffee. Same here. And two glasses of water. It's our first commercial release, so we're suspicious. I saw the film. And? Nothing. Comrades risked their lives to film it and smuggle it out. So people know how desperate the situation is. It's exceptional. I didn't say I don't agree. I totally do. You live with Jean-René? A house in Kremlin-Bicêtre. With members of the collective. The film you made in Italy... Is it finished? We're still debating. Comrades find it politically questionable. It's tense but fascinating. I'm learning a lot. We have an office. I answer the phone, tend to the prints. It keeps me busy. I want to go to college but I missed registration. I may go to London. To be a gofer on a film. It may not work out. What film? Nothing like yours. Go on. Science fiction. With prehistoric animals. And Nazis... I think. Still drawing? Sure. I was published in "Parapluie". I saw. Like it? A lot. You know I like what you do. They cropped it an added yellow print. It doesn't matter. It's good. I have to go. It's late. Kremlin-Bicêtre is far. "Whenever painters try to cast off representation, they do so destroying painting and their survival as painters". Any good? It's amazing. Do you agree? To some extent. We follow our own path. But it costs you sometimes a lot. You can't know. I understand. I think I do. I saw Christine. And? She didn't go her own way. She wants a relationship. Hence the older man. You want a relationship? I'm upset with myself. I live in my fantasies. When reality knocks, I don't open. He tell you? Briefly. No need for more. It would be dangerous. For you and us. I thought it over. You're partially right. Militancy is getting us nowhere. Bourgeoise elections even less. It's a trap. It's time for action. No revolution ever avoided it. French resistance took up arms. We extol their heroism. We're the new resistance. Don't Maoists say that? Maybe they're right. So we're breaking with the Trotskyites. Where do you position yourself? Why talk anarchy if you don't act on it? It's easy. The car comes. The comrades change vehicles. Set theirs on fire in the woods. He'll take you back by motorcycle. - If it's worth it. - It's not our call. We chose the underground, and its rules. First one: no questions. And if it backfires... what do I risk? Don't ask what you risk... but if you'll be true to yourself. The prints of "Weekend in Sochaux" are booked all summer. It's possible in September. For unions, it's free of charge. Fine. I'll send you the form. For us the problem was how to incorporate their demans into a larger revolutionary context. We were stuck. So we gave the camera to the workers. What they shot was pretty surprising. Stronger that what we did. Their perspective is truer. They go straight to the heart of the problem. I think we've gathered enough material. They want to edit it themselves. I'm not at all sure about this. They need a minimum of technical skills. We have to help. Monique can go do the technical stuff. Great. That settles it. I went shopping. Tonight I work at the restaurant. With the lesbians? Not lesbians. Feminists. Did you pick up the print? The phone was ringing all day. But I need it for tomorrow. So get it yourself. I didn't mean that. I'll care of it tomorrow. Christine! Anything I should know? You come and go... We cross paths. I have a lot of work. I have work too. We managed before. There's nothing. If you want to talk... I'm looking for Gilles. Alain! Gilles went to London. Andrew knows Leslie's parents. This is his place. He's back for the trimester. It wasn't planned. His kids are coming. I'm leaving tomorrow. When did Gilles leave? Last week. I wrote him. I know. I don't have his address. I'll forward the letter once I do. - A number? - We can't call him. He calls. You left Jean-René? You can spend the night. No thanks. I'd rather not. Got a place to sleep? I'll manage. Don't worry about me. What about you, Alain? Leslie's in New York. I won't go. It's not for me. I'm not ready. Later, maybe. For now it's painting. I still have a lot to learn. It means going back to Kabul. I know it'll be tough. The Situationist International arrived at a point in History as the thought of a world collapsing. It is now occurring before our eyes. The new era is deeply revolutionary. and it knows it. In all of society, no one can or will continue as before. We will not submit to what is going on. The demand of life has become a revolutionary program. It's Wolfblood, not werewolf. We're not monsters. Could someone live and act as a human but actually be a completely different species? On the full moon, do you change in the house? In here? No, we've got a secure room in the cellar. The cellar? We call it the den, it has everything a wolf desires. - What you doing? - Checking Maddy's blood out. - Do you have to lock me in? - Well, yeah! If you can't cope as a human you're never going to cope as a wolf. The beast is back and I think I know where I can find it. Don't you ever just want to run free? Isn't that what being a Wolfblood's about? They believed me, Tom. No-one's ever believed me before. It's not nice to be accused of lying, is it? You're a truth hunter, you stick to your guns no matter what. One day, you'll to do something that will change the world. Mam's freaking out about tomorrow. After the past two full moons, can you really blame her? Oi! Not my fault you're slow. Not my fault you're a girl. - We've got to be there by five. - That's hours till moonrise. Yeah, well, we don't want to take any chances this time. Smith goes for the shot but is blocked by Morris. Morris lines up. He misses! Complete embarrassment for the boy from Wales. I mean he's had a terrible season... Not from Wales. Hi! My dad's cooking tonight so I was thinking burgers at Bernie's instead. - I'm there. - 5:30-ish? Yeah. Great. - We'll be there, won't we, Rhydian? - Where else would we be? Great! You do know Bernie's doesn't allow dogs? I panicked. The only thing I could think of was, "Sorry, "we'll be locked in the cellar turning into wolves." You should probably work on your excuses. I can't just make up lies on the spot. Why is my experiment a different colour to everyone else's? Probably, because you're right and everyone else is wrong. Listen, Maddy was just saying how she can't make it tonight. Why? Because... I just remembered... I have to stay in and... help Mam with...curtains. - Curtains? - Yeah. She's really into crafts all of a sudden. I said I'd hold them while she...sews. - Can't she do it another time? - She's got a deadline. Sorry. Oh. OK. See? You can do it. Finally. - We're early. - Just. We came straight from school. It just seemed to take longer. I know. Too much to see, too much to smell. Wash your hands first. Where did that hair come from? - Where? - There? That black thing. Oh! There's another one. Oh, wait. It's the full moon! I must be turning into the beast! Yeah, that moustache could do with a trim, too. - I can see some... - Ssh! - Rhydian? - 'Listen, mate.' I've got a bit of a vomiting situation with my substitute parents. They're throwing up everywhere. Oh! Yeah, and I'm on bucket duty so I'm not going to be able to make it out. OK, well... Oh, there she blows. Right, I've got to go. No Rhydian? What is it with everyone today? Must be the full moon. You know, we don't have to do this. - What? - Stay here. I don't care how your parents try and justify this. It's still a cage. It's still unnatural. We agreed. We promised. I thought you were OK with that. Yeah. That was when the wolf seemed a long way away. Now, I mean this room feels half the size it normally does. I know what you mean. It was fun the last full moon. Yeah... Out there, all of us together. It was... It was a rush. It was... It was right. I mean, it was right. Outside in a pack is where we belong. The only reason we transformed outside last time is because we ran out of time. Mum and Dad, they won't let that happen again. They can't stop us if we don't let them. Rhydian, I won't go against them. So, for the rest of our lives we'll just spend the one night we should we running wild, locked up? Yeah. No, I mean, no. No. I can't think about the rest of my life right now. OK. I'm with you. Whatever you decide. We stay. Fancy coming to the exhibition with me? Come on! Don't you find it interesting? What? That they took what looks like the most boring words in the English language and made them into a sentence? Well, I've always been fascinated by this stuff. It's just the beast took up most of my brain. Now you're free to really get your nerd on? Exactly. I wasted all that time on the beast when I could have been charting the development of metallurgy during the 19th century. Is Shannon Kelly here? Kyle Weathers. I've come a long way to find you. Thanks. This is Tom. Tom. Good to meet you. Hi. We're short on daylight, so I'll come straight to the point. The beast is in my sights and you're the girl to help me find it. - Excuse me? - I've been monitoring your blog for the last six months. Your findings are pretty compelling. Why didn't you leave any comments? Open up myself to replies from fools with no brains and even less imagination? I know exactly what you mean. Right. I'm searching the woods tonight and I need an expert. - What do you say? - She's into metalgy... Metal...metallurgy now, you see. Old news. Tell me more. Don't worry. No-one can get in. And we're not getting out. We are going nowhere. Until we've got fingers again, obviously. Great! You've done a really good job. It's very... secure. Thanks. And don't worry, it unlocks just as easily as it locks. Oh, no. Ah... Kidding. I'm kidding. I was just... - Thanks. - Hi. - He doesn't say much. - That's Steve. He takes a while to warm up to new people. So, who are you exactly? I'm you. I thought you looked familiar. 12 years ago, I was the kid no-one believed. I'm... I saw something too. An animal, a creature, really. I was walking where I'd walked 100 times before and for some reason that day, there it was. I've never seen anything like it before or since. You never saw it again? But I knew what I'd seen. For a while, I tried to convince other people I'd seen it, too. I don't need to tell you how that went. My parents practically measured me for my own strait jacket. I know how it feels when the people you rely on most don't believe you. Have you seen other things? Other creatures? There's more out there than even you and I know about. I photograph and study what I can. So, Shannon, if you would do me the honour of being my guide, tonight, I will find the beast for you. I'd be delighted. - Here, let me help. - Thanks. So, you're with Kyle? Filming Kyle. There's a difference. - That the beast freak? - We just call her Shannon. Good. It's always better if they look like they don't live under a bridge. - So, I'm Tom. And you are? - Busy. Jo. You are Jo. So, what are you, a film student? Yes. I'll let you be in my documentary if you leave me alone for two minutes to set up. So, you're hunting the hunter, so to speak? Right, I'll just let you get on. Excuse me, but if you're going to interview anyone about the beast, it has to be us. We've known about it for years. What are you looking for? I don't know. I can't stand still. OK, water's in bowls, wolf snacks are in place. We're all set. OK. Mads? Right, all the doors and windows are locked. No-one's getting in or out tonight. You two OK? Yeah, Mrs S. Just a bit twitchy. Maddy, if there's something going on you better tell us now, - 'cause we're running out of time. - Why are we doing this? Didn't we have a great time last full moon? Didn't we? - Well, yeah, but... - We were a proper wolf pack. Free, alive. I had the best experience of my life. And it was because I was sharing it with you guys. It was a special night, Maddy. One of the best. So why are we pretending like it never happened? Because we're never going to do it again. - Why not? - You know why not, Maddy. It's not safe for us out there. - We were fine! - No, we were lucky! What if we'd got shot at by a farmer? or Or we'd walked into a poacher's trap? All it takes is one person to spot us and then they'll hunt us down. - It's what they do. - Tell me you understand that, Maddy. I do. - Me, too. - Good! So that's the end of it. A few weeks ago, the beast was circling the village. Farm animals and pets were going missing. I tracked it to this area. It's between two farms. Prime hunting ground. Good job. Anything I can do to help? Yeah. See that tree over there? Yeah. Go and stand under it and leave me alone. - What? - Just trying to imagine what you were like when you were my age. You must have worn a lot of black. Here. Don't break anything. So, what's the deal with you and Kyle? He needed someone to put him on camera, I needed an extra-ordinary graduation film to kick-start my career. We sort of found each other. - So you two are...? - For a bit. Then Kyle... Well, I mean he decided that work was... Great, let's share life stories while my camera battery drains. Kyle, your public's waiting. So, Kyle, tell us what's going on. This is Shannon Kelly. Hi. Shannon is on the trail of a creature known locally as The Beast. She's brought us to the exact spot where we stand the best chance of seeing it tonight. The full moon is about to rise and the creatures of the night are coming out to play. And cut. Nice. Very poetic. Don't let me get too fancy. I don't want to lose the audience. So, how do you want to do this? Steve! What is that? A secure container. Harmless but inescapable. We're going to catch The Beast. Our first time as a family. I feel like I should make a speech. You'd better make it quick if you don't want to end it growling. Come on. The moon won't wait. Maddy? I'm sorry. - Maddy! - Open this door. Don't you dare! Maddy! Open this door now! I'll see you in the morning. - Maddy, I mean it! - You are in trouble... Are you sure about this? No. So hurry before I lose my nerve. Maddy! I can't believe you are doing this, Maddy! I didn't bring you here so you could catch it. Shannon, relax. This is for our safety. You said The Beast is killing animals. It could easily turn on us if it isn't contained. So, what? Then you're going to let it go? I'm not in the business of caging wild animals, no matter how unusual. We put it in here to get a closer look, that's all. That's cool with me. That thing has some serious fangs. Shan. OK. I'm sorry. It's just... it just got real all of a sudden. That's why I'm here, Shannon. To show the world The Beast is real. OK? OK. They'll kill us. What are you going to say to them? I don't know but I don't think sorry's going to cut it. We could go back. Do you want to? Look. Put it on me. Tell them I made you do it. Thanks, but I'll take the blame. I've earned it. It's starting. This is all very dramatic but what makes you so sure - you'll find The Beast tonight? - Stay tuned. Jo, on me. You know what's great about science? Eventually it can achieve pretty much anything. Just put in the hours in the lab and you... can make all sorts of cool things happen. This is bait. A scent engineered at a cellular level to attract the predatory olfactory system. Which is smart speak for "it rocks". And this is your basic Sunday roast. Before all the cooking and the gravy. Add the scent. It'll spread and if there's a supernatural carnivore out there, it's going to come running. I'm switching to night vision. OK. Let's fall back to the truck first. Steve! Do you smell that? - So... - No. Sorry? You were either going to ask me if you could help, or try to find out something personal about me. Either way the answer's no. - It's cold out. - I'm pretty warm actually. Wasn't talking about the weather. I see movement. Ten o'clock. What are you doing? ! It's a tranquilliser gun. Perfectly harmless. - Vets use them all them time. - Will it hurt it? No. It'll put it out for a few minutes. Everyone stay quiet. Jo, don't miss this. I never miss. - Did you miss? - No. There's two of them. Two beasts? Wait. They might not be fully under yet. - I have to see them. - Let me and Steve get them into the container. Safety first, OK? - OK. - Jo. What about safety first? Fine. Miss the reveal. Steve, go ahead and check they are out. Maddy and Rhydian are going to be mad they missed this. - You OK? - Yeah, why? You're shaking. Is this happening? Like, is this actually happening? Yeah. Believe it. I don't think I can. What if I wake up? Shan. Believe it. OK. Come on. Are they...? They're wolves. Tom, they're wolves. All this time. It was wolves. - My beast isn't a beast at all. - How can there be wolves? They've been extinct in Britain for years. Maybe people just think they died out. Maybe they've been here all the time, surviving without anyone knowing. Right, you ready, Kyle? Sleeping animals are a lot easier to film than angry snarling ones. Turns out The Beast wasn't a beast at all. Thought to be extinct in this country, these two wolves... have survived. Their existence a secret for years... until I found them. Not a bad night's work, eh? They're waking up. You should let them go now. Why would I do that? Give us a hand, Steve. What are you doing? I'm not going to leave them here for someone else to find, am I? So you're keeping them? As what, some sort of trophy? For now. Then I'll sell them off to a zoo or something. Why? There are thousands of other wolves in the world. Not like these. Plucky English survivors where wolves have been extinct for hundred of years? I could sell the movie rights. I might even play myself. Jo, we'll do close-ups back at my place. Did you not hear? They're wolves. Not space wolves or zombie wolves. - Just regular wolves! - And this is their home! So go and write a song about it. Thanks for your help, I couldn't have done it without you etc. Hunt's over and it's way past your bedtime. What is wrong with you? You're obsessed! Yeah, and that means a lot coming from her. Shannon... Shannon's friend. Say goodbye to the puppies. Because they're going to their new home now. Steve, check the map. Let's figure a way out of this place and away from these kids. And then go back and secure the crate. Did you know about this? What? That Kyle's an egomaniac who'll trample over anyone to get what he wants? I had an inkling, yes, but he just proved it. - So you let him use us. - No! Listen. All I wanted was to get the best film possible out of this. We might not like how Kyle operates but the audience loves controversy. And if you don't have an audience, you're nothing. So the more immoral he is, the more you like him? Welcome to showbiz. Looks like you found your soul mate, after all. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! If you're that desperate to save something go sponsor a panda. Steve! We're leaving. Film makers observe they don't interfere. That's just how it is. That's pathetic. You turn a blind eye to something you know isn't right. Hey, he's the bad guy, here, not me. There's nothing I can do to stop him. Maybe you're scared if you do stop him you won't get a film out of it. Doesn't it occur to you that he might be using you the way he used us? So? I'm using him back. We're even. But it isn't right! OK, how about this? Don't audiences love an unexpected twist? Are you sure this is an actual road? Yeah. Not too many people know about it, but it's a good shortcut. As long as you avoid the bog. So... Got any words for your audience? - Point the camera at Shannon. - OK. So, Shannon, tell us why we're in the middle of a chase scene. Because Kyle Weathers is a glory hunter who only wants fame and he doesn't care what he destroys to get it. He has taken two beautiful wolves out of their natural habitat to make himself look good and make money. And I'm not going to let that happen. We're not going to let that happen. Sorry. You can edit that out, right? And this bit too? Pesky kids. I'm not moving until you let the wolves go. Didn't Mummy and Daddy teach you that we can't always get what we want? They taught me to stand up for what's right. Then they did a much better job than my parents. Go home and make them a cuppa to say thanks. You said you were just like me. Oh, sweetie. No-one's that weird. So everything you said was a lie? Finally, you get it. Now will you move? I should have known you were too good to be true. And because I trusted you, everything mysterious and magical is over. Yeah, cheese factor 50. Are all teenage girls like this, or just the crazy ones? I'm glad I'm not like you. Shannon, if your plan was to appeal to my better nature, it's not going to work. I don't have one. Yeah, that was Plan A. Plan B was to keep you talking long enough for Tom to sneak round the back of your truck and let the wolves go. What? Award-winning footage, Kyle. Think you might be thinning a bit at the back though. Steve? Steve! Idiot! Oh, yeah, about the film... I've decided to go another way. OK, yeah... Two points to the kindergarten. You've slowed me down, that's all. I've got the bait, and I'll be back for your wolves. He is right about the bait. Yeah, I mean wolves can't resist it. Although... Since I've got it, it's probably no use to him. Very stealthy. Thank you very much. I think I'm ready for my close-up now. This is for all the wolves out there. Howl it with me now. I remember the scent. Then it went dark. - Then I saw that man... - He smelled bad. - And then Shannon. - Yeah, but then Tom. Which means we must have been trapped. - Then released. - By Tom. We probably owe Shannon and Tom our lives and we can't even thank them. What are you going to tell your parents? - The truth. - Why? Because he could come back! They've got a right to know. - OK. I'm coming with you. - No. - Let me take the blame. - No! I got us into this, not you. Although... I'm in so much trouble I think they might actually eat us. I'll see you next time I'm allowed out. Which is probably in the next 50 years or so. You could leave them in the den till they promise not to punish you. Yeah, I might just do that. You sure you don't want to split the blame? - Positive. - OK. I'll see you in 50 years. I can smell you out there, young lady. You are beyond grounded! Open this door, Maddy. Open the door! You and Rhydian gave Tom and Shannon, a picture of you in wolf-form! What were you thinking? In some parts of America, wolves are protected. I'm going to get our wolves protected too. If you want the Government to start passing laws to protect them, you need... - proof they actually do exist. - I've got it! Let's get the doors and windows locked. We're staying here, where it's safe. He's out of control, and we're not having you going down with him. I'm not going to let you abandon him! Who are you? I'm Bryn. Your brother. And I've come to take you home. Morning, Len. It's funny it used to be the sound of the cycling that woke me and now... it's very much the smell. The sound you get used to it, not to the smell. I like it. Len, when you work up a sweat it's like a slow-frying sausage. Whitsun! What? Whitsun! What are you talking about? What are you doing for Whitsun? Have you decided? Mum, I don't even know what or when Whitsun is. Are you alright? You look a bit peaky. Yeah, I feel a bit odd. I might pop to the doctor. Oh, Jenny, love. Have a thing about Whitsun! Jenny? What pants have you got on? Mum, go inside. Would you want these *** ones? You want a decent pair on for the doctor. Love, pass her these, will you? She's going to the doctor's. Oh, we have got to get out of this place. Thanks very much. I'm afraid I can't send you through that door if you're not registered. Yes, but... That's the sys. Yes, but what's the reason? The beauty of having a system is once you have a system you no longer need reason. But I'm ill! If it's an urgent complaint I suggest you get yourself off to AE. This job, is it still available? It is. I'd like an application form, please. I thought you were off to AE. What? Oh, god no. No no no. Fighting fit. Open for business. When you take that cover off, you'll se two valves. Now be sure to resist the temptation to turn them, until you double-checked that the fuel line is closed. Hi, guys! Hi, Chrissy. Girls? Hi, Jenny! Can I just say, you look great. Oh, thanks, Chrissy! And I tell you what, I'm feeling pretty great. Because... I'm so sick of seeing all these *** women everywhere. Good for you! And you can accommodate it. You look jolly. You see girls, this is what happens when you go poor. You'd think that you'd get thinner but you don't, it's weird, it's the opposite. I've got an interview! Oh, Jenny love you're getting to be an expert at these. Oh, I've got a feeling about this one. I put my CV in this morning, they rang me this afternoon to say that they wanted to see me! What's the position, poppet? Practice manager at the doctor's. Oh, practice manager. And presumably if you do well in that then later you'll have a go at being the actual manager. No, Mum. Mum, practice manager means running a practice. Yeah, NHS management. Yeah I'm donating my skills to the public *** I'm not Barack Obama post-Harvard. Oh, hat's great news, Jen. Still rather you than me, all that red tape. The only person I answer to is Nick Pope. Nick, you're in my seat. Oh, sorry. And as I'd be earning I reckon we'd be able to rent somewhere of our own. Mommy, what's rent? Nothing you'll ever need to worry about, kitten. So you might be moving on then, poppet. Well let's not get ahead of ourselves. It could go the way of the others. I think it's brilliant. Go for it, Mum. Thanks, Becky. Go for it! Oh, Becky is scaring me. For the love of god, go for it! You idiot! Watch where you're putting your oversized scalextric. Should be looking where you're going. And you should be in *** *** Hi, I'm Jenny pope. I'm here to interview for the practice manager's post. If you'd just like to take a seat, Mary will see you at 9:05. Hello, I'm Mary. I'll be looking after you this morning. If you'd just like to follow me I'll take you to meet the doctor. Are there many other candidates? Oh, just one. Doctor, this is Jenny Pope, is it? Jenny, meet Dr. Blair. Hello. We've already met, actually. Oh, yeah, the *** lady Yeah, that was very much my sense of humor on display. *** It's just silly. As you come to learn I'm pretty quick on the draw when it comes to banter. I'm a social beast- who knows where to draw the line, hard working, but very pleasant. Right. Take a seat. This is Karen from the PCT, she is going to be doing... *** testing and role plays. Yeah, thanks, Mary. And there will be an interview, and then at the end of the day I'll decide who's going to be taking over from the late great Valery. Well, if you're ready, doctor, I think we should begin. Yeah, absolutely. I thought there was an other candidate. That would be me. How is your shoulder? Much better. We'll talk later. Alright. Dad, you know we might be moving out Hang on just a bit, love. Daddy's doing some business work. I was just thinking we should probably start looking at some places, right? Well, let's not get ahead ourselves. Mum's not got the job just yet. No one's getting ahead of themselves, I just booked six or seven appointments with estate agents. I'm not really sure about this idea, Becky. Doing things without your mum... Dad, it's fine. I've not gone mad and want to see mansions, okay? They just simple modest flats. Another nice touch as well as the four iPod docks in here there's also one in every toilet. So you're never without your tunes. Right, if you'd liked to follow me to the sleep zone I'll show you the *** pods. So, Jenny, tell me how do you seek to motivate your staff? Well, obviously I had a large number of people under me before and- and I always think the best thing is just to treat people like adults. Let them know where they stand. Fair day's work for a fair day's pay. And Mary, same question to you. Well, Karen, if a member of staff does right by me, they get smiley Mary. Three of these in a week and you become one of Mary's mates. But if you do wrong by me, you get an angry Mary, three of these in a week and you become one of Mary's moaning menace. And let me tell you this, it's not a lot of fun in moaning menace. *** system. It'll be strange around here if they go, won't it? Quieter. Oh, I know, I know, I've grown fond of having them here too, you know? Most of them. But we knew the day would come they'd have to move on. I mean look on the positives, you will have the house back, and I can crack on with my round the world cycle challenge, you know? And you'll have more time to spend on your, on your your, your things. Yes, you're right. Let's get a cat. What? A cat. Let's have a cat. A cat? Or a little family of cats? Just hold on a wee second, dear. You can't just do these things, you know, they need a careful thought. I suppose you're right. I can keep myself busy in other ways. Take a more active interest in you and your hobbies for example. Start spending a lot of time with you in your shed. Oh, I do love the sound of cat song. Oh. How's it, uh- how's it going? I'm not permitted to discuss the process. No, no! God, no. I just mean, you know, how are you? Because I always think with these things, nobody ever really thinks about how hard it is for the assessor. Can be quite difficult, yes. Today's proving very straightforward. *** Something with, uh, a lot of saturated fats in, please. And yes to any questions about making it larger. Alright? Eating off the bonnet of your car. Yeah. Cause you don't want the smell to get in the fabrics, do you? Yeah, that's why I'm doing it. Nothing to do with not wanting my family to know anything. Well, I can't take it back to the surgery cause Mary doesn't allow it. But you're the boss, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So you allow Mary not to allow it. It's policy. Mary is very good with policy. We all dream of a world where you can eat burgers at work, and wear aftershave on days when it isn't your birthday. But work's never going to be like that, is it? Yes, very used to dealing with large purchasing budgets. And what do you think you can bring to the surgery personally? If anything at all. Well I've had a look around, and it works. It's fine. Yes? But no offense... What do you mean? I mean first off the waiting room, I mean would it kill us to get a couple of plasmas in there? I hardly think a doctor's waiting room... I'm sorry, I'm talking to the doctor. No. No, it wouldn't kill us. And seriously would a set of decks and basic crossfade, I mean would it bankrupt us, you know? Get the patient a few tunes. Keep talking. Well, it's the 21st century, you know? And as a woman I would- I would appreciate being able to browse, say a lingerie catalog, while I'm waiting for my appointment. So, yes, on the first day I would liberally scatter the waiting room with lingerie catalogs. Right, I can see immediate problems. Two words are just screaming themselves at me, Guitar Hero. For the patients? No, for us. How are you supposed to heal when you are all tense. You know, I have long had a vision of what a general practice could be like in the 21st century. And I've never seen it realise. Not even in Scandinavia. Doctor, could I please have a word with you in my advisory capacity? I've realised who it is she reminds me of, *** of The Apprentice Yes, the one who got replaced by the fit one of West Ham. And you are Lord Sir Alan Sugar. You listen to her advice, you're grateful for it, but at the end of the day you trust your gut. And so you've got hot, cold, and my favourite, espresso. This is all great and you know the sort of thing that we'll probably be looking to buy outright in a matter of months but have you got anything more within the price range of a family supported entirely by the wage of a doctor's receptionist? Not quite sure what they using this room for at the moment, but as you can see it's big enough to accommodate a mattress end a webcam. So I'm sure it can cope with a dining-room table. Oh, Mr Nibbles knows he's home. Hasn't he got a good strong voice? You're going to live here with mommy and daddy for ever and ever! Don't worry, dear. He'll come back when he's hungry. Ah, hello! Hello, Lovelies! Have you had a nice day? Oh, what's this *** Thank you, Nana. It's so good to be here with you. This place is so so acceptable. Aha! I got it. I got the job! We can definitely move out. Yeah, I know. I know, I was pretty speechless myself at first, but then I thought "Hey, come on! You know this was just a matter of time." I am... a manager. Right. Well, this is calls for a celebration. Let's see. Would you like a go, Samuel? No, ma-maybe not go too mad. So we're going to have to throw ourselves into the house hunting. You'll be good at that, eh, Becky? Well, not too far away I hope. We'll still be seeing you, won't we? Yeah. I mean yeah, of course. You'll come to Sunday lunch? Yeah. Yeah, when we can. Alright. I've not been on Facebook for four and a half months. It is time for a status update methinks. Won't be strange, dear? We'll be on our own again, eh? Well, don't forget Mr Nibbles. Yeah. Have you seen him this evening? No, but his food's gone, so hopefully that was him. And I cleaned up a mess in the linen cupboard, hopefully that was him. Oh, yes, it's good to be loved. Good night. Morning, Mary. I just wanted to say, I hope there's going to be no hard feelings. In fact I got you a little something just to let you know how much I value your experience and I'm looking forward to working with you. Thank you very much. I don't drink, but that can go to the cleaners. Well, there you go. I just hope we can move forward and forward our nifty little team. Yes, professionalism above all else. Jenny, I need you to wee into the cup here. What? I just need to check you're not on heroin. Heroin? Yeah, I'd give you the benefit of the doubt but there's been an accusation from a member of staff that you might have been injecting in front of the patients, so... How many miles are you on these days, Len? 1672. Just- just outside Kiev. Kiev? *** Don't - Don't touch the chart, please! I'm thinking about getting myself a bike actually. Oh! You know, one of those fold-outs for the commute. The commute? Over here, yeah. I tell you while I'm schlepping all the way here every morning I'm going to miss being able to roll out of bed and pad over in me slippers. You won't have to schlep all the way over here, Nick, you'll have your own shed. You'll be able to play on your laptop in there. Len, what are you trying to say? No, oh, no, it's been lovely having you, but I have my hypothetical round-the-world cycle to complete, you know, I need my space back. Yeah, yeah of course. Anyway I've got to go into town now with the lady wife buy Mr. Nibbles a radiator bed. See if we can get the bugger indoors. I'll pick up some boxes for your *** I am cycling around the world in my imagination. I keep track of my progress on these charts, and measure the distance I travelled on the bike's pedometer. You're an excellent business man, Nick. I like you very much. Good-bye old friend. Hello? Jenny? Nick? Leonard, look. I don't like this, Len. Stay close, dear, stay close. Anybody there? Show yourselves now! The buggers have been in the shed. Nooooooo! It is literally, literally the worst thing that could happen. The worst thing! Well, try and keep it in perspective, love. I mean one of us could be hit by a... It is worse than that! You see you don't understand, you're not a hobbyist. Where is Nick? I need to talk to him. I myself wouldn't mind knowing where he's hiding. But is he home? Because I've got news. I know he is your husband, but my god! What's your news, love? I wanted to tell Nick first, but uhm... I'm pregnant. Jenny, love, that's fantastic! Oh, my sweet, that's wonderful. Are you sure? Yeah, the doctor found out while he was checking my urine for... for no reason. I'm going to be a great-grandmother! No! No, Mum, you're going to be a grandmother, you're still going to be a grandmother. Oh, even better. Was it a surprise? Well, I have been feeling quite queasy in the mornings but... I put that down to other factors. Oh, that boy. I'll give him credit, hat's off, you know? He gets the job done. Although you know with the extra mouth to feed and everything... Oh, its little mouth. We might not be able to move out straight away, we might need to stay a little bit longer if that's okay. That's lovely. It's better than okay, poppet. It's better than okay, better than okay. I need to tell Nick, I can't wait any longer. Hi, hi Nick, it's me. Jenny, can't talk now. I'm in trouble with your dad and it is a lot worse than all of the other times. I'm going to have to be off the grid for a little while. Nick, Nick, I've got some big news! He's not done something stupid, has he? Oh, god! I'll never be able to forgive myself. Nick, Nick, I'm having a baby! Nick? Jenny, that's brilliant! I'm so pleased for you! It is mine, yeah? Yeah, of course. Icing on the cake. That is fantastic. I'm going to come straight home. I'll be with you as soon as I can. Where are you? Where are we, lad? Half an hour now. We'll be getting into *** in about two hours. I'll buddy up with a trucker, or something. I'm going to be with you ASAP. Synced by slake Previously on Grimm... No! What have you done? I don't have any powers. You've taken everything. Farley Kolt. - Put the coins on the bed. - No. [Grunts] You'll never find them again. What the hell? [Growls] [Breathing heavily] He's not himself. He's been acting weird. I'm just, you know, worried about him as to what he saw. Has he said anything? No, but I can tell there's something not right. Hank's got to be shook up about this in some way. You know, I mean whether he's talking about it or not, when I saw him looking up at me, he was freaked. - Aah! - [Groans] And it's a look I've seen before, let me tell you. I'm sure you're hoping it will just go away, and he won't say anything, but look. This is not, like, your ordinary nightmare, okay? He knows he was awake. And his brain is trying to process the unprocessable. I mean, what did you think when you first saw one woge? [Snarls] - I thought I was going crazy. - Right, well... Hank's probably going through the same thing, you know? You know, with you, it was one thing. He was hit. He was knocked out. He was a little dazed. But I mean, he saw Brinkerhoff change. That is so not going to make it any easier. Trust me, mental hospitals are chock-full of people who have spent their lives trying to wrap their minds around things they've seen and can't explain. Great. But hey, look, with Hank, maybe it'll be different, you know? He's a cop. He's already seen a bunch of crazy stuff. With any luck, it'll wear off in a couple, three years. [Inaudible dialogue] [Camera shutter clicking] [Camera shutter clicking] [Phone rings] Hello. I found your friend. Marquesa. It's time for you to get on a plane to Portland. Thanks. You don't look like you slept too well. I didn't. What's going on? The usual suspects, tossing and turning. Must have been something I ate. What did you get from Interpol? File on Akira Kimura. Ah, yeah. One of the guys responsible for killing your parents. It's a great way to start your day. And get this, they tied him to the beating death of a coin collector in hamburg. Turns out the victim was the dealer who sold the three gold coins to Sam Bertram here in Portland. I'm not sad those coins disappeared. You know, that's a nasty-looking guy. The hell is that thing on his face? It's called the Aegishjalmur. And it means what? Helm of awe. It's a symbol the vikings wore for invincibility. You know what? I'm going to trust my flak jacket. We got our last known whereabouts on Mr. invincible? Lisbon. 14 months ago. [Ominous music] ♪ ♪ Welcome to the Portland governor, sir. Where's Marquesa? I found a lot more than him. [Tense music] I've got something very special for you. [Cat meows] Why don't you come out and see your new home? That's a good girl. Marquesa was tied to a jewelry store robbery here in Portland 2 1/2 months ago. The owner, Sam Bertram, was killed during the robbery. Now after that, Marquesa killed a police officer, gained access to the precinct using his uniform in an attempt to get at a police captain. That's where I became intrigued. I couldn't figure out why Marquesa went after a police captain after he pulled off a heist. So I did a little more digging on your behalf. And that's when I found out... There were three gold coins discovered in that jeweler's stomach the night he was killed. Now I got all this from the coroner's report. How did you get this report? 'Cause ex New York City cops generally get what they want, which brings me to my next subject. These are the two detectives that handled the case and killed Marquesa. This is captain Renard, the guy Marquesa went after. This guy? I don't know how he figures into everything. He's a local guy. Repairs clocks. I believe he's a police informant. And I think one of these men either has the coins or knows where they are. Our deal was for me to find Marquesa. Well, I did that. These coins, however, present a whole new business opportunity. So you want to be my partner? This is the guy Marquesa went after. That's him coming out of his condo. I got names and addresses on all of them. You need me. Not anymore. [Snarls] [Growling] [Beeps] So, Mr. Adams, you must have found something that wasn't good for you. Adalind? Hi, Juliette. I'm glad you remember me. Of course I remember you. Well, I just wasn't sure if I should come by since things didn't work out with Hank, you know. Oh, stop. I don't take my patients based on their owners' social lives. I'm glad you came in, and I'm glad you brought your cat. Well, I am relieved to hear that because Majique - seems to be pretty sick. - Oh, no. What seems to be the problem with miss Majique? She's just not herself. She's sluggish. She won't eat. I'm pretty worried. Do you think it's serious? Well, I hope not, but I'm probably going to want to keep her overnight to run some tests. Shh, shh, shh, shh. [Cat purrs] Oh, you seem to have the touch. [Cat yowls] Ow! Majique! I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Yeah, it's an occupational hazard. I'm sure she didn't mean it. She's a good kitty, aren't you, Majique? [Purrs] [Trunk slams] Hey. Where's the body? First floor, room at the back. - It's a little messy. - Well, what do you we know? Uh, male, mid-40s. Looks like somebody took a weed wacker to this throat. Checked in three weeks ago under the name Nathaniel Adams. Clerk says he kept to himself, paid his rent, listed his home as New York City. There was no sign of forced entry. Maid discovered the body about an hour ago. You weren't kidding about the weed wacker. Looks more like a hatchet. Except his head's still here. - Who rolled the body? - Nobody. That's the way the maid said she found him. Well, this body's been rolled. The pattern on the carpet matches the blood on his shirt. That could have been the killer. There's no wallet, nothing in his pockets. Maybe a robbery. There's nothing in the room except for a coat... Got it. Hanging behind the bathroom door. [Police radio chatter] There's a key here. Looks like a rental. [Car beeps] There we go. Hey, we got some equipment back here. Cameras, lenses, monopod. Let's see what he was taking pictures of. [Phone rings] [Computer beeps] Download's done. Let's see what this guy was shooting. I hope it's not something too gross. - What the hell? - Why's this guy watching us? I don't know. Better find out. All right, we better tell the captain. I'll call him. Might be a good idea to put some uniforms at our houses. Got it. I'll send one to the captain's. [Elevator bell dings] [Suspenseful music] ♪ ♪ Oh, no. Patty. [Cell phone rings] [Snarls] [Ringing continues, growling] Where are the coins? [Groans] Where are the coins? Where are the coins? Where are they? [Landing blow] Who are you? I'm the one who asks the questions. Where are the coins? [Groans] I don't have them. They were taken from me. Give me his name. Farley Kolt. Kolt does not have them. I found him in Los Angeles. I wasted three days finding out he didn't have them. I don't plan to waste that much time with you. [Breathing heavily] Look, I told you, I don't have the coins. Where are the coins? [Hisses] [Knocking on door] Captain? Sergeant Wu. Detective Griffin wanted me to come over and check on you. [Knocking on door] Captain? If you can hear me, please open the door. Captain? Listen, I'm not sure he's home. I'm going to get the key from the super. Stay here. [Siren wailing] Hey. You locate the captain? No. Not yet. Knocked on his door, no answer. Checked his car. It was in his parking space. Just got the key to his condo from the building super. Let's do this. [Groans] He's down! Radio for backup. I'm going to need backup and an ambulance at the captain's residence. [Door closes] He's alive. His housekeeper's not. He wanted the coins that were stolen from the jeweler. I told him Farley Kolt had them. And he said he found Kolt in Los Angeles, spent three days with him, and was sure he didn't. You might want to check with LAPD if Kolt's body has been found. I doubt he left him alive. And if he didn't wind up with the coins, who did? Maybe he got rid of them before this guy caught up with him. I don't think this guy thought so. That's why he's here in Portland. He had photos of all of us. Me, Nick, and you, captain. They were taken by a private investigator from New York. His body was found this morning at a downtown hotel. And we found a camera in the trunk of a rental car. Downloaded the photos. That's why we came after you. That's lucky for me. He had no intention of leaving me alive. - You get a good look at him? - Yeah. Asian, mid-40s, he had a tattoo on the side of his head. Sounds like the picture of the guy out of New York. What picture? Akira Kimura. Who is he? Yeah. That's the same guy. Akira Kimura. He was somehow connected to my case on Roth and Flynn. The guys who came for the coins. Yeah. God knows those coins aren't healthy to be around. And we did a little more digging, found out Kimura is tied to a secret organization called the dragon's tongue. It was founded in 1901, connected to the Japanese imperial army. It went underground after the Japanese defeat in world war ii. But it appears the organization has resurfaced with ties to the Yakuza. We got a report that Kimura was identified by state police in hamburg, Germany, three months a, now he's here. I want you to tear this town apart and find this son of a bitch. We think he hired a private investigator out of New York. We found photos of you. And me, Hank, the captain, everybody on this investigator's camera. The same investigator we found dead today. We think Kimura killed him. Why would he kill the guy he hired? Remember those coins I was telling you about? Oh, yeah. Everybody died? Why would this guy come after me, man? I've never even seen the coins. He probably won't, but we don't know that for sure. [Sighs] Now all three guys involved in the jewelry store robbery were also involved in the killing of my parents. I just found out Kimura was tied to them. He might be the last link I have to find out why my parents were killed and who killed them. Okay. I got it. He's super dangerous, and you want to catch this piece of garbage alive. I want him alone and not in an interrogation room. So you want a little Grimm time? Yeah. I could probably help you with that. I think I found just what you need. Says here this Grimm captured this Siegbarste with his trusty crossbow and an arrow filled with schlaftrunk, which is basically a sleeping toxin. He was able to subdue the big fella with one shot to the neck. And they were able to keep him alive? Uh, yeah. Just long enough to draw and quarter him, which is not actually as easy as it seems. You need a lot of ropes and chains and, like, a minimum of four horses, but all you need is some schlaftrunk. Let's hope your aunt has some. Got it. How much do we need? There's not much left. [Flipping pages] Um, they don't really say in the book. Here. Well... If you're supposed to use an eyedropper, I'd say a little probably goes a long way. It better. [Sizzling] Thanks for looking out. Juliette? I'm upstairs. Coming down. - Hey. - Hey. I don't really feel like cooking. - Do you? - No. Where do you want to go? I was hoping that you would ask. I made a reservation at Laurelhurst market. One at 9:00 in your name and one at 10:00 in my name just in case, you know. - Just in case what? - I don't know. Things have been going pretty well lately. Knock on wood. Uh-huh. Keep going. Well, you've been around a little bit more. A little bit more attentive. Mm. And? Ooh. What bit you today? Not a bite. It's just a scratch. - From a... - [Sighs] - Dog? - Mm-mm. - Cat? - Mm-mm. - Bird? - Mm-mm. - Wolf? - Mm. Guinea pig, sidewinder, what? Just a cat. Just a cat? You never talk about your patients that way. What, you have to put one down? No. I wasn't going to tell you. - Tell me what? - You promise you won't get mad? About a cat? Why would I get mad about a cat? It was Adalind's cat, and I know that you don't like her, and she knows that too. She didn't even want me to tell you. Let me see that. Nick, what's the matter with you? Take it easy. How long ago did this happen? Today, just before lunch. Baby, I get scratches all the time. Not like this you don't. - You don't understand. - Yeah, I don't understand. You're getting all worked up about nothing. You don't know her like I do. Okay? You know, you said that once before. What does that mean? Okay, we need to get you to a doctor right now and get that thing checked out. I'm not going to a doctor for a cat scratch. Listen, your life could be in danger. That's ridiculous. - Juliette. - I'm tired of this. You don't understand what she is. What? What is she, Nick? She's an attractive, successful woman. You saved her life once. I don't know what it is you have against her now. What is it that you're not telling me? Do you have some kind of relationship with her? - No. - Then what is it? She's a witch, okay? You're going to need to try a little harder, Nick. What? Does she ride a broom? Because I distinctly remember her getting into a BMW. You don't know what's going on here, Juliette. Then isn't it about time you tell me? You're going to the doctor. I told you, I'm not going to a doctor till you tell me why you're acting so crazy. [Sighs] Okay. You want the truth? Yeah, the truth would be nice. Get your coat. I told you, I'm not going to a doctor. I know. You want the truth, you're going to get it. All right, I guess I should have figured this would have something to do with aunt Marie. Nick, I've been inside your aunt's trailer. I've seen all the crazy stuff in there. I don't know what you expect to show me that I haven't already seen. Juliette, please. Look, if you want to understand why I was attacked in our house... Run! [Screams] If you want to understand why my aunt was attacked on the street... [Growling] And if you want to know why you were kidnapped by that crazy woma.. Time for you to scream. - Time for you to scream. - [Groans] You're just going to have to trust me on this one. Okay. How often do you come here? Whenever I have a problem I can't figure out. What kinds of problems would lead you here? Something started happening to me around the time my aunt died. I guess it was destined to happen. I just didn't know about it yet. I started seeing things I couldn't explain, and I thought I was going crazy. But before she died, she told me that some of my other relatives have this same problem, ability-- whatever you want to call it. This trailer is filled with things you can't believe. It's the history of my ancestors who were-- now stay with me-- sort of like hunters. What did they hunt? See, this is where it gets a little difficult to explain. Yeah, you're going to have to try. I know. I know. Okay, this is going to sound a little weird, and I know it's going to sound a little weird, okay? [Inhales deeply] Here goes. I can see things that-- That what? That most people can't. You mean, like, ghosts? No. No. Not the dead. Well, that's good. Look, apparently, my ancestors from Germany, the Grimms, well, I guess I'm related to them. My mother's side of the family had the same ability. What kind of ability are we talking about? See these books? They're filled with drawings made by my ancestors and some other people who had the same ability. And the drawings are of Wesen, which is how they like to refer to themselves. Who, the Grimms? No, the Wesen. And that's what I can see. What the Grimms could see. And there are all kinds of them. They're kind of like species that exist within us-- some of us. Anyway, there's Blutbad and Bauerschwein, Fuchsbaus, Eisbibers. Remember that fire dancer Ariel? - Yeah. - She was a daemonfeuer. A dragon thing. And they're all in these books. Look. Lowen are a kind of lion. Look at the picture here. Juliette, I mean, I'm not making this up. I mean these lowen were running an illegal fight ring that dates back to the time of the gladiators. They were fighting with these. Ancient weapons. This is a morning star. There's a rifle in here that shoots special bullets to kill Siegbarstes. But first, you have to dip them in this stuff here. This stuff right here. Siegbarste gift. Gift means poison in German. The point is I can see these Wesen in what you would see as a perfectly normal person. When they go through something called the woge, which is kind of like this emotional surge, that's when I can see them. I know how this must sound, but I swear to God, it's all true. Look, you want to see who Adalind really is? This is what Adalind really is, a hexenbiest. Juliette, you got to read some of this stuff. I mean, the stuff's that's in English because most of it's in German. And there's actually some of it in French, Spanish, and even Latin. Oh, there's some of it in Japanese. They all look like stories you'd read in a book, but they're not. They're real. There are things in this trailer that you can't believe. Ah... Cameras. And film of Hitler and the Verrat shooting people in 1936. The Verrat worked with the seven royal families, which I'm just beginning to learn about. Juliette, I can't tell you how it all fits together. Even my parents were killed because of this. My aunt was a Grimm all these years. I didn't even know it. Look. I can show you film right here that will blow your mind. [Door closes] Juliette! I know how this sounds. This is why I didn't want to tell you. This is why my aunt told me I shouldn't be with you. You need to talk to somebody, Nick, but it's not me. Juliette, I'm trying to explain. Okay. Okay, remember that hair you found on the horse when it was attacked? You couldn't figure out what it was. That is what I'm talking about. You need professional help! No, Juliette. Look, yes, I understand why you're saying that. There's one more thing I can do to prove to you-- - Nick, please. Stop, okay! - You're really scaring me! - I don't want to scare you. I just want you to know the truth. Come with me. Just give me this one last chance. Hey, Nick. Juliette. What a pleasant surprise. I think. Come on in. All right. So, um, can I get anybody a drink or-- Okay, you need to tell her. Um, tell her-- About you, about me, about everything. You know, I'm really sorry. I have no idea what he expects you to do. Monroe, you need to show her what a Blutbad is. Okay, I-- you want to explain to me how we suddenly arrived at this crucial crux kind of a zenith pinnacle moment? Juliette got scratched by a cat. Um, well, that's too bad, but I'm not sure how that qualifies-- - The cat belongs to Adalind. - Oh. That's actually not so good. And I took her to the trailer. - Adalind? - No, Juliette. I-I showed her everything, I told her everything. She thinks I'm crazy. Ho, okay. So we're just kind of jumping out of the old airplane without a parachute here, huh? Monroe, you're my last chance. You have to do this. Nick. Enough. Juliette, I don't care if you believe me anymore. - I'm just worried about you. - You're worried about me? You don't understand what Adalind is capable of. I'm going home. This is ridiculous. [Sighs] Okay, okay. Just give me a second to get into it. Juliette, wait, wait. Okay, Juliette. Monroe is going to show you something right now. - Nick. - Just wait. Now, Juliette, remember, what you're about to see is just me. Juliette? - Oh, God. - What happened? What did I do? I-I warned her. I told you what would happen if-- Look, this doesn't have anything to do with you. We have to get her to a hospital. Oh, dude. [Glass shatters] [Woman singing in foreign language] We're canvassing the area hoping to find someone who's seen the suspect. - Yeah, I've seen him. - When? Checked in this morning. Paid for three days, cash. What room is he in? Ma'am? Hey. Hey, stay where you are. Robinson, stop her! Ma'am, stop now. Hold up. [Grunting] [Sirens wail] [Tires screech] [Tires screech] [Train whistle blares] What else did she tell you about this cat? Anything? Just that Adalind brought it in, and it scratched her. And she wouldn't believe anything I said about Adalind. That's why I brought her to the trailer. That's why I brought her to you. Okay, I get it. But I got to tell you, it was a little on the short side for a warning. - When did she get scratched? - Today. Look, Nick, I know you're hoping the doctors are going to be able to do something for her, but you saw what happened to Hank, you saw what happened to your sergeant. We got to get our hands on that cat, man. - Detective Burkhardt? - Yeah? We have her stabilized. If this is an infectious disease, she'll need to stay quarantined. Normally, cat scratches are not that dangerous, so there may be something else going on here. The tests are going to take quite a while to run. There's nothing more you can do right now. I suggest you go home. As soon as we know something, we'll call you. Look, Nick, I know you want to stay here and be with Juliette. I do. But that's not going to help. Let's find that cat. All right. [Cell phone rings] - Yeah. - Nick. Sergeant Wu got a hit on Kimura at the palms motel. But when they went to check on the room, they were attacked. - Are they okay? - For the most part. But it wasn't Kimura. It was a woman. And we're thinking he's working with a woman who's not to be messed with. So watch yourself. You too, Hank. We keep the cats on this side. If we kept them with the dogs and the birds, they'd be screeching and hollering all night. Okay, how do we know which is the cat we're looking for? Well, the name of the owner is on every cage. Do you know the name of the owner? Yeah, Schade. Adalind Schade. Okay. Oh, hello, Majique. You don't look very sick to me. [Cat yowls, cage rattles] Yep, that's probably the one. How's it going? Everything all right? Yeah, there's nothing happening out here. All right. See you in the morning. All right, stand back. Stand back. Don't get too close. We got to knock this thing out. If you don't have any drugs that'll do it, a 2x4 would be fine by me. - How's Juliette? - We don't know yet. I'm so sorry, Nick. You think you can figure out what this is? I'm going to do my best. First, I have to test the cat's claws, but if I can't get it from the cat, I'm going to have to go see Juliette. Okay, are you good here for now? - Not really. - Yes. Hey, where you going? I'm going to find Adalind. [Cat yowling] [Cage rattles] [Cat yowls] Maybe it just doesn't like me. Blutbaden and house pets don't really mix. Except, you know, as the occasional between-meal treat. I'm going to start with some valeriana officinalis. [Cat hisses] [Cat screeches] All right. [Suspenseful music] [Footsteps approach] No, no, no. Don't shoot. Hey, come on. Put it down. Who were you shooting at? Adalind! Adalind! [Cell phone ringing] Yeah? He was here at my house, Nick. Tore it apart. All right, I'm on my way home. If he hit your place, he's probably going to hit mine. Is Juliette home? - No. - Well, don't let her go home. - She's in the hospital. - What? What happened? - Is she okay? - I don't know yet. But I can meet you at your place. No, you stay. You take care of yours. All right. Then call for backup. Come on, work with me here. I enjoy The Strand magazine as much as the next man but I am perfectly aware that Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character. Get out! Do you have a goldfish named Colin? No. Thought not. Now... Ooh! I see this is one of your business cards - it says so on the front! Who are you? What are you doing here? This. Wakey, wakey! That is highly valuable equipment, you must step away now. We are the Intelligence. Oh! Talking snow. I love new things. You are not of this world. Takes one to SNOW one! Right, let's see. Multi-nucleate, crystalline organism with the ability to mimic and mirror what it finds. Looks like snow. Isn't snow. You must leave here now! Shut up, I'm making deductions, it's very exciting. Now, what are you, eh? A flock of space crystals? A swarm? The snowmen are foot soldiers, mindless predators. But you - you're the clever one. You're Moriarty. So you turn up on a planet, you generate a telepathic field to learn what you can, and when you've learnt enough, what do you do? You can't conquer the world using snowmen. Snowmen are rubbish in July. You'll have to be better than that. You'll have to evolve. Sir, it appears to be stuck! What have you done? Have you locked the doors? You need to translate yourself into something more, well, human. Kick it down! To do that you'd need a perfect duplicate of human DNA in ice form - where do you find that? Get in here! Quickly! I've got a master key somewhere, sir. Let's see. Most opened file... most viewed page. You really should delete your history! "Governess frozen in pond." Gotcha! Got it, sir! Get in here! Take him downstairs. Body frozen in a pond, the snow gets a good long look at a human being, like a full body scan. Everything they need to evolve. Pond. Good point, Clara. What are you doing here? Madame Vastra wondered if you were needing any grenades? Grenades? She might have said help. Help for what? Well, your investigation. Investigation? Who says I'm investigating? Do you think I'm going to start investigating just because some bird smiles at me? Who do you think I am? Sherlock Holmes. Don't be clever, Strax, it doesn't suit you. Sorry, sir. I'm the clever one, you're the potato one. Yes, sir. Now go away. Yes... Mr Holmes. Oi! Shut up, you're not clever or funny and you've got tiny little legs! OK, just tell her you're leaving, you're not going up. Leaving, not going up. What was that all about - five minutes, where did that come from? You... It's the human male from the Institute. What's he doing here? Suggest we melt his brain using projectile acid fish, and then interrogate him. Other way round. Am I going to have the nightmare tonight? Definitely not. How do you know? Because someone's coming to help. Who? You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Is it one of your stories? Your definitely true ones? Huh! All my stories are true. Like how you were born behind the clock face of Big Ben? Accounting for my acute sense of time. And you invented fish. Because I dislike swimming alone. So what's this one? There's a man called the Doctor. He lives on a cloud in the sky, and all he does, all day every day, is to stop all the children in the world ever having bad dreams. I've been having bad dreams. He's been on holiday. But I am confident he has now returned to work. And as a matter of fact, he's right here... Aren't you, Doctor? Bloomin' hell! The children have been very naughty! Get back, now, quickly. You're doing your other voice. Yes, love, did you notice? Naughty, naughty children! RUN! What do we do? Frannie, Frannie, imagine her melting. What? ! In your head, melt her. I can't! I'm getting impatient! You have been VERY naughty! What about the man? You said the man was here, the cloud man. Well, he's not, is he? Where's the Doctor? I don't know! Doctor? Doctor who? That's the way to do it! Oi, Ow! Where did she go? Will she come back? No, don't worry. She's currently draining through your carpet. New setting, anti-freeze, and you're very welcome, by the way. I'm very grateful. I knew you'd come. No, you didn't, because I don't. Because this isn't the sort of thing I do any more. Next time you're in trouble, don't expect me to... What is it? What's wrong? Sorry, it's just... Didn't know I'd put it on. Old habits... It's cooler. Yeah, it is, isn't it? It is very cool. Bow ties are cool! No, the room. The room is getting colder. She's coming back! What's she going to do? Is she going to punish me? Uh... uh... She's learnt not to melt. Of course, she's not really a governess, she's just a beast. She's going to eat you. Run. Children, what is exp... Who the devil are you? ! What are you doing in my house? It's OK! I am your governess' gentleman friend, and we've just been upstairs... kissing! Captain Latimer, in the garden, there's snowmen! And they're just growing, out of nowhere, all by themselves - look! Good evening, I'm a lizard woman from the dawn of time and this is my wife! This dwelling is under attack! Remain calm, human scum! So! Any questions? You have a... gentleman friend? Vastra, what's happening? The snow is highly localised, and on this occasion not naturally occurring. It's coming out of that cab parked by the gates. Sir, one pulver grenade would blow these snowmen to smithereens. They're made of snow, Strax, they're already smithereens. See, Clara - our friends again. Clara? Who's Clara? Your current governess is in reality a former barmaid called Clara. That's the way to do it! Meanwhile your previous governess is now a living ice sculpture impersonating Mr Punch. Jenny, what have you got? Should hold it. Sir, this room - one observational window on the line of attack and one defendable entrance. Right, everyone in there now, move it. You - carry her. Nice to see you off your cloud and engaging again. I'm not engaging again, I'm under attack. You missed this, didn't you? Argh! Argh! Shut up! Strax, how long have we got? They're not going to attack. They made no attempt to conceal their arrival. An attack force would never abandon surprise so easily - and they're clearly in a defence formation. Well done, Straxie, still got it! Sir, please do not noogie me during combat prep. So there's something here they want. The Ice Woman. Exactly. Why's she so important? Because she's a perfect duplication of human DNA in ice crystal form. The ultimate fusion of snow and humanity. To live here, the snow needs to evolve - and she's the blueprint. She's what they need to become. When the snow melted last night, did the pond? No. Living ice that will never melt. If the snow gets hold of that creature on the stairs, it will learn to make more of them. It will build an army of ice. And it will be the last day of humanity on this planet. Stay here. Oi, I told you to stay in there. Oh, I didn't listen. You do that a lot. It's why you like me. Who said I like you? Argh! I think you just did. You kissed me. You blushed. And we just... Shut up. Argh! Release her to us. You have five minutes. We need to get her out of here - but keep her away from them. How? With this - do I always have to state the obvious? Those creatures outside, what are they? No danger to you, as long as I get that thing out of here! You, in there - now. What are you doing? Between you and me, I can't wait to find out. Right, if you look after everyone here, then I can... Clara! Doctor! That was stupid! You were stupid, too! I'm allowed, I'm good at stupid! That's the way to do it! Why does she keep saying that? Mirroring, random mirroring. We need to get on the roof. This way! I do the hand grabbing, that's my job, that's always me! Come on, quickly! Agh! What are you doing? My bustle is stuck. Your bustle? ! You're going to have to take those clothes off! I didn't mean... I know. I understand, I do. Good. What's the plan? Who said I've got a plan? Course you've got a plan. You took that. Maybe I'm an idiot. You're not, you're clever. Really clever. Are you? If I've got a plan, what is it? You tell me. That's the way to do it! Is this a test? Yes. What will it do to us? Kill us. That's the way to do it! So, come on then - plan, do I have one? I knew straight away. No, you didn't. Course I did. Show me! Why should I? Because we'll be dead in under 30 seconds. Do I have a plan? If we'd been escaping, we'd be climbing down the building. If we'd been hiding, we'd be on the other side of the roof. But we're standing right here. So? So! After you. After you. After you, I'm wearing a dress. Eyes front, soldier! My eyes are always front! Mine aren't. Stop it! No! I understand you're the previous governess. I regret to inform you the position is taken. Goodnight. So you can move your cloud? You can control it. No, no-one can control clouds, that would be silly. The wind, a little bit. She's following us! That's the idea. Keep her away from the snow. So. Barmaid or governess, which is it? That thing is after us, and you want a chat? Well, we can't chat after we've been horribly killed, can we? How did we get up so high so quick? Clever staircase, it's taller on the inside! What am I standing on, what's this made of? Super-dense water vapour. Should keep her trapped, for the moment. So you actually live up here? On a cloud, in a box? I have done, for a long time. Blimey, you really know how to sulk. I'm not sulking! You live in a box! That's no more a box than you are a governess. Oh, spoken like a man! You're the same as all the rest. Sweet little Clara, works at the Rose And Crown, ideas above her station! For your information, I'm not sweet on the inside, and I'm certainly not... little. It's called the TARDIS. It can travel anywhere in time and space. And it's mine. But it's... Look at it, it's... Go on, say it, most people do. It's smaller on the outside! OK, that is a first. Is it magic? Is it a machine? It's a ship. A ship? Best ship in the universe. Is there a kitchen? Another first. I don't know why I asked that, it's just... I like making souffles. Souffles? ! Why are you showing me all this? You followed me, remember - I didn't invite you. You're nearly a foot taller than I am. You could've reached the ladder without this - you took it for me. Why? I never know why. I only know who. What's this? Me. Giving in. I don't know why I'm crying... I do. Remember this - this right now, remember all of it. Because this is the day, this is the day, this is the day everything begins. Clara! Get off of me! Water vapour doesn't stop ice, I should've realised! Get off! Let her go. Let her go now! NOW! Get off of me! Clara! Argh! Arr! No-o-o-o-o! What was that? It's Clara. Dear God. Oh, dear God, where did she fall from? We have to get her inside. Those things will kill you! She's hurt. She's dead. What is that? What is happening? ! He's bringing her in. That green woman said she was dead, how can she be alive now? This technology has capacities and abilities beyond anything your puny human mind could possibly understand. Try not to worry. Isn't the creature still a danger? It could reform. No, not in here. Then you should be with Miss Clara. She's going to be fine, I know she is, she has to be. Doctor, her injuries are severe. That equipment will bring back anyone for a while, but long term... It was my fault. I am responsible for what happened to Clara, she was in my care! What is the point of blaming yourself? None. Because she's going to live. Hello. They all think I'm going to die, don't they? And I know you're going to live. How? I never know how. I just know who. The green lady... she said you were the saver of worlds once. Are you going to save this one? If I do, will you come away with me? Yes. Well then. Merry Christmas. I have in my hand a piece of the Ice Lady. Everything you need to know about how to make ice people. Is that what you want? See you at the office. So then, Doctor, saving the world again? Might I ask why? Are you making a bargain with the universe? You'll save the world to let her live? Yes! And don't you think, after all this time and everything I've ever done, I'm owed this one? I don't think the universe makes bargains. It was my fault. Well then. Better save the world. You promised us something. Have you brought it? Big fella here's been very quiet while you've been out - which is only to be expected considering who he really is. Know what this is, big fella? I do not understand these markings. A map of the London Underground, 1967 - key strategic weakness in metropolitan living, if you ask me, but then I have never liked a tunnel... Enough of this. We are powerful, but on this planet we are limited. We need to learn to take human form. The Governess is our most perfect replication of humanity... What's happening to its voice? Just stripping away the disguise. No, stop! Stop that, cease, I command you! It sounds like a child. Of course it sounds like a child, it IS a child. Simeon as a child, the snow has no voice without him. Don't listen to him, he's ruining everything! How long has the Intelligence been talking to you? I was a little boy. He was my snowman... He spoke to me. They're silly. But the snow doesn't talk, does it - it's just a mirror. I don't want to talk to them, they're silly. They're silly. It just reflects back everything we think and feel and fear. I don't need anyone else. Don't need anyone else. You poured your darkest dreams into a snowman - and look, look what it became! I don't understand. It's a parasite feeding on the loneliness of a child and the sickness of an old man. Carnivorous snow meets Victorian values... and something terrible is born. We can go on! And do everything we planned. Oh, yes, and what a plan! A world full of living ice people. Oh, dear me, how very Victorian of you. What's wrong with Victorian values? Are you sure? I have always been sure! Good. I'm glad you think so, since your entire adult life is about to be erased. No parasite without a host, without you, it will have no voice, without the governess, it will have no form. What... What's happening, what's happening, what did you do? You've got nothing left to mirror any more. Goodbye. What did you... Did you... Did you... Did you really think it would be so easy? That's not possible. How is that possible? Doctor! They're growing! The snowmen are growing! What do we do? But you were just Dr Simeon. You're not real, he dreamed you, how can you still exist? Now the dream outlives the dreamer and can never die. Once I was the puppet. Now I pull the strings! I have tried so long to take on human form. By erasing Simeon, you made space for me. I fill him now. More than snow, more than Simeon - even this old body is strong in my control. Argh! Do you feel it? Winter is coming! Argh! Winter is coming! No, you must fight! Hang on and fight, boy, you can do it! Captain Latimer... your children... they are afraid. Hold them. It's not really my area. It is now. What's happening? Doctor! The globe. It's turning to rain. All of it, the snow, look. He's dead. What happened? The snow mirrors, that's all it does. It's mirroring something else now. Something so strong, it's drowning everything else. There was a critical mass of snow at the house. If something happened there... Salty. Salt water rain. It's not raining. It's crying. The only force on Earth that could drown the snow, a whole family crying on Christmas Eve. I'm sorry. There was nothing to be done. She has moments only. We saved the world, Clara, you and me. We really, really did. Will you go back... to your cloud? No more cloud. Not now. Why not? It rained. Run. Run, you clever boy. And remember. It's Christmas. Christmas Day. And what about the Intelligence? Melted with the snow? No, I shouldn't think so. It learned to survive beyond physical form. Well, we can't be in much danger from a disembodied Intelligence that thinks it can invade the world with snowmen. Or that the London Underground is a key strategic weakness. The Great Intelligence... rings a bell... the Great Intelligence? Doctor? I never knew her name, her full name. Oswin Oswald, junior entertainment manager, Starship Alaska. Souffle girl... Oswin - it was her. Run, you clever boy. And remember. It was souffle girl again. I never saw her face the first time with the Daleks, but her voice, it was the same voice. Doctor? ! The same woman, twice, and she died both times, the same woman! Doctor, what are you talking about? Something's going on, something impossible, something... Right, you two stay here, stay right here, don't move an inch. Are you coming back? Shouldn't think so! But where are you going? To find her, to find Clara. Ha-ha-ha! But Clara's dead. What's he talking about, finding her? I don't know, but perhaps the universe makes bargains after all. Where are you going? Short cut. Through there? I hate this place! Don't you think it's creepy? No, I don't believe in ghosts. Clara! Oswin! Oswald! Watch me run! Ha-ha! Miss me? Who the hell are you? I'm the Doctor. I'm an alien from outer space. I'm 1,000 years old. I've got two hearts. And I can't fly a plane. You're running away with a space man in a box, anything could happen to you. That's what I'm counting on. Where do you want to go, hey? What do you want to see? Rrr! Argh! Is that her? The woman twice dead. She's rather pretty, isn't she? She's not possible. Right then, Clara Oswald. Time to find out who you are. This is so depressing. I was almost married. I was so close to being done. Living a life of no makeup, wearing flats, being on the bottom. Maybe I was wrong about marriage, it sounds awesome. Look, don't worry, Lil. I mean, it's normal to feel this way. It's not normal to make us put on these dresses and sing Kanye West. But, you know what? Anything to help you get over Neal. Uh, uh, uh. I told you, no one is allowed to say "the n word" in this apartment. Shouldn't no one say "the n word," ever? Then we should probably stop singing Kanye West. You know what? I'm over it. I'm not even thinking about it. Someone pass me another Neal. Uh, I mean, a beer. Okay, let's just focus on the positive, okay? - Mm-hmm. - I mean, I just got out of a relationship too, we've never been single at the same time, this could be fun. - Ah, I don't know. - No, it'll be good. You guys can go to clubs, and you can do "special k," and, um, you can have sex with European backpackers. Okay, I haven't been single in a while. You know what? You guys are right. I've got to get out of this apartment. Take my mind off of him. Yes, yes, see? Good, we'll go out tonight. Yes. I mean, I'm already buzzed and wearing spanx. I think that's the name of Chelsea handler's new book. Hmm, yeah. Whitney is taped in front of a live studio audience. Don't lie, staying with me has been pretty awesome, right? Yeah, this couch is surprisingly comfortable. Come on, dude, we both know you're not here for the couch. You're here because your heart just got its ass kicked. Right in the balls. And of all the people that you know, you came to me. Well, I didn't want to impose on Alex and Whitney, and... Bup bup bup bup bup. I'm just happy somebody finally recognized I'm the emotional go-to guy for our group. I was actually just about to say that I... Shh. Look, I used to be just like you, okay? Shut down, always trying to be the tough guy. Do you know how many times I cried in a helmet? I'm fine. Your engagement broke off last week. Now you're sleeping on the couch of a guy whose middle name you probably don't even know. Patrick. Fine, we're best friends. But you can't tell me you're not hurting right now. Look, honestly, I don't know how I'm feeling, okay? There's a lot of things going on in my mind right now, and I just need to sort some things out. We will, I promise you. Two nights on my couch and I will get inside of you. Feel like we got off to a weird start. It's so nice out. I know. Walking outside, in the fresh air... We should get a treadmill. You know, it's so weird that lily and Neal actually broke up. I know, it's a classic story. Couple falls in love, decides to get engaged, disaster and heartbreak follow. What kind of fairy tales were you read as a kid? My favorite one was called "eviction notice," where the princess had to move to a new castle. - Ah. - Mm-hmm. Did your dad ever hug you? Aw, come here. Mm, not like that. Well, I can think of some other things your dad never did to you. - Okay, first of all, ew. - Mm. Second of all, ew. And third of all, sex in public never goes according to plan. That's true. You always just realize how much gravel there is in the world. All right, nice and calm, hand over your wallet and your purse. Okay, man, look, just take it easy, okay, I... Wow. Oh, my God, thank God you're okay! Are you okay? I don't know, my girlfriend stood me up at a mugging. I can't believe you just stayed with him. I didn't just stay with him. He's not an injured bird, Whit. He kind of made my attendance mandatory. Okay, why didn't you call me? Ah, the mugger wouldn't let me borrow the phone that he mugged from me. Why did you run? That's what you're supposed to do. That is not at all what you're supposed to do. Even the mugger thought that was weird. Everybody knows that when a couple gets mugged, you're supposed to run in opposite directions. He can't shoot both of you. No, just the guy still standing there next to him. I thought you knew what to do. I do. You do whatever the guy with the gun is telling you to do. Give me the phone, I need to call the police. Why? We're fine. I'm not fine! I was mugged! Because you didn't run. It's like you have the brain of a deer. Running works, okay? I learned at a very early age, you don't try to be the hero. Okay, I ran from bullies, I ran from cops, I ran from feelings. Okay, I have very good survival instincts. If it wasn't for those, I would have been moshed to death at the warped tour. Okay, survival instincts, yeah, all right. What are you supposed to do when there's a tornado coming? Run. Where? Away. No, you're supposed to go into the basement. Wha... go to the basement? Where the laundry is? What am I, gonna do a load of whites? All right, well what about if there's an earthquake? Run. Again, with the running. You know, it's times like this where you really see someone's true colors. Is that a song? No, it's a real emotion, Whitney, all right? You know that we're in a relationship, right? We're supposed to be together, we're supposed to be a team. Yes, we're on a team. It's called "team stay alive." Okay, teammate, can you tell me one situation where your first thought wouldn't be to run? I guess if I had a bomb strapped to me. Thatwhen you'd stay with me? Come on, man, let it out. What you feeling? Mark, I don't... Dude, for the last time, don't tell me, tell her. Again, Mark, that picture makes me really uncomfortable. Good, go with that. Why does it make you uncomfortable? Because I've never seen it before, and I don't know where you got it. I'm sensing anger. Let's give it a place to go. Rip out a few sets on the muscle-maker. No. Break something. Just don't break anything that's... You know what? Just break my nose. Look, Mark, I can't give you what you're looking for, because the things that I'm feeling I can't put into words. And that's the problem with people. We want to use words, and words are dumb. You know how the grizzly bear processes loss? Yeah, I think they go to sleep for like six months, and nobody bothers them. The grizzly bear climbs to the top of the nearest hill, and it roars, Neal. Neal, this is your hill. Yeah, I am not going to... Yah! Oh, that feels so good. Hoo-ah! My friend, you have lost your she-bear. And I am not going to stop until I hear you roar. Naa-ah! Ah. Ah. Ow. Ah, oh, no. Uck, oh, no. Oh, no. Is that blood? Or wine? Wait, blood or wine? Blood or wine? Uh, that's wine. That's blood. We had fun last night. Uh, why are you wearing my wedding dress? It was the only way to keep you from putting it on again. Whoa, why am I sore? Did we get drunk and do Pilates? No, we did jump in that guy's convertible, and you missed. Oh, I was wrong. That is blood. Whoa, I sent some texts I am going to regret. Who is Johan? I was texting all night with some guy named Johan. I gotta go home and rehydrate so I can cry. No, no, no, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, don't go, no. You're single, I'm single, our day is free, right? We could go to spin class, or biking, or horseback riding... Wh... why do you hate my vagina? Ah, all right, just let me get out of this blood-soaked wedding dress. And that is not the first time I've said that sentence. Okay, so that's Johan. He's bleeding too. Ah. Surprise! I got us an alarm system. Yeah, that's an awesome thing to do to a guy who just got mugged. Scare him in his own house. What would you do to a rape victim? Sign them up for speed dating? Okay, this is my way of showing you that we are on the same team, okay? We are now prepared in case of all emergencies. You bought an alarm system without telling me? Well, you couldn't pay for it, because you don't have a wallet. And I couldn't call you, because you don't have a cell phone. And you couldn't be closer to not having a boyfriend. We just bought a bed together. You're not going anywhere. Okay, so we have an alarm for intruders, one for fire, and one for when you cry. Whit, I think that water droplet means flood. I don't think so. Okay, so I googled "escape plans," and the first thing we do if there's a fire in the middle of the night is wake each other up. And then we feel the door to see if it's hot. If it is, we go down the fire escape together, together, and once we are safely outside, we talk to a news crew and hope they auto-tune us later. Aw, you googled something besides, "Maria Menounous, what's your job?" Fire! Fire! Good, you're up. That door's not hot, so we can go. What is wrong with you? What happened to your plan and all this talk about us working together? Okay, I can't believe you tested me. I can't believe your answer to the test was to push me into the fire! Not only did you run, and not save me, you made it harder for me to save myself by body-checking me into the wall. Okay, well, to be fair, in a fire, your hair products put you in much more danger than I do. Look, these past few days made me realize something, all right? People are either "fight" or "flight." I'm "fight," and you're... you're "flight." Okay, I'm "fight" too. I hit you on the way out. Do you really not see the problem here? Okay, I don't know what it is, okay? This is all I know. It's like I was raised by wolves. No, you weren't. Wolves stay in a pack. You know what? Look, I guess it's fine, it's just, when it comes to emergency situations, I'm on my own. Come on, that is not true, all right? We are a team. We're like Sonny and Cher. Cher left Sonny, and then Sonny died. On a Mountain, in an emergency. I think Jack Daniels is a racist, because he does not get along with Jose Cuervo. Oh, come on, it's 11:00, we've got to move or we're going to be late for our emotional cooking class. Okay, Lil, you know what, we've been on a three day bender. Going out and drinking all night, and doing stuff off daily candy all day. I mean, I never thought I'd say this, but... I actually miss being alone with my thoughts. I don't. We're having so much fun. Okay, Lil, I'm tired, all right? I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I think I'm too old to be an alcoholic. And I am definitely too old to be grinding teenagers in "da club." Oh, well, that's okay. I mean, there's plenty we can do without drinking. Can I just say three words to you? Architectural boat tour. Lil, I feel like maybe you're trying a little too hard to keep your mind off Neal. Oh, pft, don't be ridiculous. I'm completely fine. Should I get braces? Honestly, I saw an infomercial, it really got me thinking. Oh, my God, it's Neal. He's on his way, he wants to pick up his key. I don't want to see him. We've gotta get out of here. I've got to go, grab my uggs! Lil, Lil, stop, stop, stop. Look, I know this sucks. But you can't just run from this. Or drink from this. Or yoga from this, or invisalign from this. I'm not. I'm just keeping busy. And taking advantage of my groupons. Come on, Lil. I see what you're doing. You don't want to be alone in this apartment. You're attached at the hip with a best friend, you're trying to drink away the pain of a breakup, I mean, you're not dealing with reality. How do you know? Because I'm doing it too. Only, in my case it's even sadder, because I have not changed my underwear in three days. Yeah, you're right, I have to deal. I've got to cancel all the wedding stuff, and find a new place. Can I live with you? Wow, that's aggressive. But, uh, yeah. Will you, please? I don't want to go home alone. All right, Johan, grab your passport. The party's moving. All right, all right, I got our drinks. And look what else I got. Michelle, here, works for Ticketron, and penny is currently suing a major airline. You guys should have plenty to talk about, because Neal here has bought tickets for an airplane. What are you doing? I am sending you to "pound town." I don't want to go there. Ladies, excuse us. Before you say anything, I'm comfortable with any combination. Look, Mark, I'm not in the mood to hook up with a random stranger. They're not random. I hand-picked them. Look, when you go through a break up, your body stops producing dopamine, and serotonin. You know what it does not stop producing? Sperm. Let the pain, and the sperm, out. Look, there is no pain, okay? I mean, there should be, but there isn't. I should be devastated. But, I'm not, I'm... I'm mostly just relieved. And it's nothing. That's not nothing. Nothing is something. Feeling nothing is what... it's what being a guy is all about. Go with that. Okay. I feel a little ashamed that I feel relieved. Because I should feel terrible, and I don't. And you're right, it does feel good to say that. Dam... broken! Go-to guy! Hey, girls! I did it. I broke this dude's dam. Hey, I'm going to bed. Okay, I love you. You can sleep outside if it makes you feel more comfortable. Oh, and make sure to close the window so the alarm sets. I got it. See? Go team! Uh, or you can just keep it open, in case there's a fire, so you can just throw me out of it. I love you. Ugh. Oh, balls. Oh, my God, a squirrel! Aah! Okay, calm down. I... I can't. You know I hate rats. Okay, it's just a squirrel. No, no, squirrels are just sexy rats. Everybody knows that. I think it touched my leg, ugh. Where is it? I don't know, I don't know, all I feel is a squirrel touch, ugh. Okay, it's fine, all right? It is much more scared of us than we are of it, all right? It just wants something to eat, and then it's going to leave. Let's just make a path of chips to the window so it can get out, but we can't feed it anything too nice or else we will never be able to get rid of it. Okay, well, that was my mistake with you. Well, hello there. Mr. Squirrel, I know exactly how you feel. I hate people too. Come on. Come on. I've been in the same situation. Stuck in a strange guy's bedroom, just looking for some nuts. Come on. Come on. Dude. Bam. Oh, my God, that was awesome. How did you know how to do that? I was raised on a lot of cartoons. Who was the guys, the, um... The... Chucky, and Bucky. Bucky? Who? Chuck... no, Chuck, and the guy with the, the, the... Are you talking about rocky and Bullwinkle? Yes. Do you know them? They were basically my parents. Oh, yeah, I keep forgetting you were raised in the wild. Well, not actually that you were raised in the wild, but more that you were, just, kind of not raised at all. But, uh, hey, this is the first time it came in handy. I don't know what to tell you. You fell in love with a hood rat. Hood rat. Huh. Oh, my God, you don't even know what are animals and what aren't. Okay, can we please just focus on the fact that in that moment we just made a pretty good team? Well, yeah, I don't know, I didn't do much. Well, that's what a team is. You're not supposed to have the same strengths, you know. You're supposed to trade off. Like, with the squirrel, I was strong, and with the mugger, you basically hung out with him and played Wii. You know, I'd like to see how brave you'd be if the little squirrel pulled out a tiny gun and asked you for your wallet. If the squirrel pulled out a tiny gun and asked for my wallet, we would be millionaires. Okay, in a hundred-meter sprint, I am beating you every time. In high school my nickname was "fast Whitney." Look, I'm sure that's true, but I'm talking about physical speed, all right? I'm pretty sure that I'm faster than you. Okay, you do a lot of things fast, but running is not one of them. All right, look, we're not having this discussion right now, all right? Men are faster than women, end of story, good night. - Really? - Really. All right, on your marks, get set... Go! ♪ ♪ Welcome to Jamaica, ♪ ♪ The land of food and water. ♪ ♪ Yeah... ♪ Welcome to Jamaica, ♪ ♪ The land of food and water. ♪ ♪ Yeah... ♪ ♪ ♪ WAAOOOH, hey ♪ WAAOOOH, see ♪ WAAOOOH, see, OH WELL, ♪ ♪ ♪ HEY... Yo! Blood clot! Wha happening souljah? Looks like life's treatin' you right down here. ♪ ♪ Mi say mi bun it an pass it on da right. ♪ ♪ Mi say dem come in and dem lookin pon di dread. ♪ ♪ Dem say "Hey natty dread locks, a where you come from? ♪ ♪ You muss have two stick a sensi under your tam ♪ ♪ Mi say "No officer, LAWD, you muss be madd. ♪ ♪ "Mi only smoke cigarette an strictly shag" ♪ ♪ O O O O, see, ♪ waaooh, see, O, WELL, waaooah ♪ ♪ HEY... I'm here, bro- - Thanks for watching my back dude. Yeah, mon. It's crazy, man-- ♪ Man, it's fucked up dude. ♪ (BEEP) (tire squealing) Woah! Hey, hey! Just gwan where you go man, gwan where you go! Yo, man, shit. I ain't tryin' to get in no trouble, man. ♪ You sure this is the right place, Guv? You sure? I don't know-- Thirty pounds. Me said thirty pounds. That's a bit steep-- I'm not-- Me said thirty pound! Hey, bwoy! Here. Thank you very much. ♪ Guv, just wait for me right here-- I'm just gonna check if this is the right- - I said wait! ♪ (growling) ♪ To babylon no badda charge me, SA! ♪ ♪ To babylon no badda charge mi, SA! ♪ ♪ One box pon mi lip a bare blood start spit, ♪ ♪ to Babylon no badda charge mi, SA! ♪ ♪ Waaooh, see, waaooh... ♪ (knocking) Hey, what you want bwoy? Uncle Sam? ... It's Everton, Dulsay's son. Mum's been calling but your phone is out of service-- Um- - I'm looking for Samuel St. Clair. This is Greenfield road, right? (laughs) What you want, bwoy? No-- What you want bwoy? Shit-- (BANG BANG BANG) (laughs) Shit man, you don't change, dude. I don't know how you do it, Jammix. Eh, I'll tell you something, it roughing' up. Yeah, looks like you doin' good, though. No, soon as, soon as, Alton hooks shit up, I'm outtie, man. Alright. Yes sir, boss. ♪ I'm done... Thanks so much. Marva! Yes, you can. But I wouldn't recommend it. Anything for me? ! Roshanna! No, it's okay. (gasp) Thank you. Look, daddy, a camera. What! Uncle Archie-- Thank you. For you-- Aunt Dini-- Thank you. That's it? I'm sorry, it just all happened so fast... What's done is done, girl. I appreciate you letting me stay here. Hm... Poor Gracey... It's good she's with God. Dini! (kisses teeth) Can I use the phone? Thank you. Hello, I'm calling for Simone Johnson? This is her mother. Monie! Hey, baby, I made it here safely. ♪ ♪ Yo, man, you might wanna-- ♪ ♪ God bless. No doubt. Ya see... ♪ (laughs) Yo, who dat, man? Yo. dat's cool, dat's cool, dat's cool, dat's cool, man-- Look, man, that's just a kid. Just follow-- Come now. Yo, hold up, hold up, hold up-- Heavenly father we'd like to thank ya for this meal, and for the strength we get from your grace to triumph over our enemies. In Jesus' name, Amen. (everyone) Amen. We did alright. Four years in Rikers INS said that my Green Card wasn't worth shit. No worries. --Don! It's cool, I'm only here for a minute. ♪ Oy! Miss-- miss? I, uh, I'm just a lil bit lost-- Just like the song, idn't it? You're British right? You're bright. C'mon Ange. Hold on-- I meant to stay at my Uncle's, but-- Well he's not exactly here. Well, if I knew, I wouldn't be lost, now would I? (kisses teeth) (Indiscernible conversation) Ladies! Ladies! Look, look- - Truth is I'm in a bit of a bind, And I just need some place to stay. Come on, please, please! Look. If you lead, I'll follow. Come on. Alright then-- But, Ange! ? Oh- - Everton. Everton St. Clair. Right, Everton? Definitely handleable. But what the raass? ! ♪ Eugh! (coughs) ♪ So, your kids are in Canada? Where you were raised? Yes. Simone is 7 and Sean is 5. But I absolutely love the baby phase. Excuse me, ma'am-- Not now, dear- - A little later. Alright- - Mi come back. I'm going to be home for six months. In that time, I want the baby sleeping through the night. You never know with babies... That's where the nanny comes in, right? Absolutely. Absolutely. My babies were very good sleepers. Of course, now, they refuse to go to bed on time... We would expect you to cook all the meals. Wash up, laundry- - That's in addition to the baby... Mommy! As well as I bought... No, no.... ...Mommy made a mistake, but Mrs. Singh is going to take good care of you. Okay? Marva, it's time to say goodbye to your children-- No, no, no, no-- Please! Please! Come honey-- Please-- Don't do this. Come here. NO! Sean! Mommy! I love you, I love you. Let go of her! Mommy! No, they're mine! Mommy! Mommy! Marva? Marva! Are you okay? I'm so- - I'm so sorry. Well, thank you-- Mrs. Field, I promise, I'm not a flake. I'm very good at sleep-training and I'm an excellent cook. If you hire me-- Thank you, Marva! I really need this job. You're a deportee, aren't you? It's complicated-- Marva, please, I'm afraid I can't hire a criminal. No, I'm... ♪ Yes, dear, do have those colours for me? Oh, this is beautiful, this is what I had in mind... So, you can take this one to the front, this one to the back... ♪ Yo, cous-- You sure about this, man? Yo, brethren, don't worry yourself, mon. Ya understand? Yeah, mon, you're good. Yo, is this that same dude? Eh? Yeah man, yeah man- - Three times! Oh, cool. Hey, you know what? This place has got that New York flavour, man. Jammix-- Yeah? What happened? We thought you was in Florida. Well, you know what they say-- Yeah, of course. Yo, Mr. Carlson. Mr. C! Mmm Mmm. We can't do it. Gettin' tougher. Too many people like your cousin here, gettin' sent back. Look man, I ain't tryin' to come back. So, you intend to cease your criminal activities then? (chuckles) Right... Well, a passport, 25,000 US dollars. Yo, what happened to fifteen? That was years ago! Now, homeland security, makin' tings a lot tougher for the little man. The normal rate is 30,000 US dollars. So, guys... Take it or leave it. Let's go. Fuck you mean we got no money! ? Sorry, I tried a thing, I got jacked-- I told you stay off that shit, didn't I tell you? I told you! Money got tight, alright-- What do you mean money got tight? Huh? ! When I got pinched, we had enough cash! All you had to do was stay in school. I dropped out, okay? ! What do you mean you dropped out? ! No, man! Alton, what are you talking about? ! Bredrin, Bredrin-- What up, man? You think I want this shit for you? Huh? I ain't got no say-- No, you ain't got no say in this! This is bullshit! Yo, D? (arguing) D? D, man? ! Yo, man! Yo! Sorry, sorry, man. Fuck, man. Yo, listen, now that they dipped you, man, things are on me, imma take care of shit. Yeah? Check it out. Imma handle my own business, alright? Just get your ass back in school, ya hear? Man-- Shit! (dogs barking) (Jammix talking on phone) ♪ Don't look too white. Yo! Yo! Mikey, Junior, Whatagwan? Yo, Jammix-- Big up, King, Whatagwan? Jammix... I ain't tryin' to get pinched down here, man! Man, you gotta find me something a little less conspicuous. Eh bredrin, I didn't ask for this. Now, hold on, man! Dunston, right? Yeah. Call you Dun-Dun from now on. Right? Alright. Yeah 4 years. No doubt. That's what I'm talkin' about. Holler at you later, right? Yeah, for sure. Hey, excuse me. Uh, look, no trouble, I just... I just wanna know where you get that from. Over thereso, man. Where, over there? Yeah. Alright thank you. Cheers. ♪ (knocking) Finally! (sigh) Bloody hell. Took you long enough. Six-hundred dollars, please. Right, um... Just hang on a second for me, please. Alright. I'm sorry about that, Guv. I'll catch up with you next time. Alright? Thanks. Yeah. (phone ringing) Mum! Ev! How are you, love? Have you found Uncle? Yeah-- yeah, but there's people living in his house! Oh Ev... (crying) Oh, come on, mum! Really? That's not helping, isn't it? Of course, it's just that-- Okay, look, mum, what's happening with the appeal? Well, Mr. Irving filed it-- Yeah. He said likely another 6 to 8 weeks. Mum, this is not going to work! It's not going to work! I'm getting light here. I mean, it's like $100 U.S. a night. I mean, I just can't afford it. But you're not there on holiday! You can't afford that! You need to find another place! Okay, yeah, where? Where? Well, I don't know, but you've got to find another place. (knocking on door) Look mum, I've gotta go, alright? This can't be happening... (knocking) Look, I've already told you, I can't afford-- So, uh... you want some company? Please-- (distant yelling) Yo! What's up? ♪ Oh, shit (laughing) Damn! Yo, get up outta here, man! Yo, get your stinky ass outta here, man! What's up? Hey, I-- I know you. Good for you. Watch her now, watch her, watch her. Hey, baby, you can't come up in here. Yo... (laughing) Baby girl, as much-- as much as I appreciate the view-- and I do, but you can't come up in here. Yo, Junior! Yo. ♪ Alright, we're gonna go have breakfast. (goat peeing) After you pee. (goat peeing) ♪ Sh-sh-sh! Stop, stop, stop. stop, stop! Come on now. Yeah, man! Come, come, come, come! Please? Okay, okay. ♪ No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Okay, okay, stay, stay, stay. stay, stay! ♪ It's all-- all good. (distant screaming) Stop! Please! (gunshots firing) Shit! Fuck! (gunshots firing) Stay down, stay down. The sound's getting closer-- Are you okay, my youth? Shh! Shut up! (distant yelling) Help! Help! (gunshot firing) Could be a fuckin' trap, to get us out there-- Sounds like they ain't even shooting' at us! Now go 'round back-- Go 'round back! Listen, listen, yo-- Go 'round back-- (gunshots firing) Go back, Mikey, go back Mikey- - I got it! (gunshot) (tires squealing) (car drives off) (distant yelling) ♪ Yo, man, you know about this? Bredrin, So don't worry yourself. Alright? ♪ Rise and shine. You read all these books? Mmhmm. Every one. So-- everyting good, right? Mmhmm. It only take a minute to tidy up, you know. You know, this ain't half bad. I like a girl that can cook and clean. What's on the program for today? School. School? You're already late. (kisses teeth) Well, how 'bout a movie? Look, they have theatres, right? There's a mall? ! (laughs) Mmhmm Alright, well, let's go! My treat. Come on-- Alright... ♪ We should-- We should go. (laughing) Which part you like the best? The action part, obviously. Ahh... So I bet you'd be wanting the vanilla then? (laughs) Funny. All right uh, two scoops please. ♪ ♪ Nah, I ain't no mechanic... That's gonna take you forever. Dawg. You gotta get the A team. (laughing) Watch this here, watch this here- Yo, what up, shorty? You don't need to be carrying all them bags. I ain't gonna bite the hand that feeds me. (laughing) (sigh) I'ma set these over here-- Thanks. We need to get one ting straight-- What's the "C" stand for? Excuse me? Cherry C? The "C"- - What's the "C" for? Look... Yeah, that's cool. 'Cause I don't see no bwoy. Well, I suppose that is a matter of opinion. I suppose. (grunts) Oh-- You're home early. Mmhmm. They changed my shift. I'll get you food. I like dat, you should wear it more often. Well it doesn't help much with finding work. (kisses teeth) Excuse me? Listen girl, no decent folk is going to hire any deportee, alright? That's just great. Alright, alright, listen! None of dat is my business anyway. But you? You have a problem. But I tied him up. Fine! Fine. I will go find him then-- But I bet you could, right? It's doubtful. That's almost $200! Uncle Archie, I can't afford that! Well, Marva, there are other ways to pay for tings. Hm? ♪ Mm ugh! (chuckles) ♪ ♪ Tonight on this stage, we are crowning the Dancehall Queen! ♪ Damn! Yeah, man! Oh my God! Yeah, mon! Yeah, mon! I can see why, man. Watch that one there, Brethren? Damnn. ♪ Wohoo! (laughs) ♪ Yo, I'll be back right quick! Alright! Run, Romeo! ♪ Cherry C-- You know, not but 20 seconds ago, something powerful sent me this way. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah? Hey, here you go-- Enjoy. Hey, my man-- I work with Cherry C. Oh! So you are named Dunston? Yeah. Ras Leon-- Respect, respect, respect. Some more forks... You know, um, as much as Cherry C talks, she ain't really mentioned you. Oh... What? Can I help you? Yeah, no problem, I can help ya'll out. You know, scoot over-- scoot-- Grab forks... If you no want him, mi willing to give him a try. Him back look strong. (laughs) Mmm. ♪ Let's get a drink. I don't have any! You don't have no money at all? ! No- - No, but look, it's alright, I'm gonna get some later on, it's all good. Don't worry about it. Hey, look, come on, please-- Look, don't worry about it, okay? Angie! Angie! (kisses teeth) Roshanna-- (kisses teeth) Ladies! Ladies, is everything all right? Roshanna-- Thanks. Thanks-- Wha-- ♪ I can see that. Yes, Iyah. I'm here to help, remember. Help... Alright, alright... See ounu? Later Dunston. So what you been telling your brother about me? That's it? Nothin' about how much you think about me morning, noon and night. You got a beautiful smile. ♪ You think Usian Bolt is Jamaica's only natural wonder! ? Well let me tell y'all-- them dancers right here, right now, can flex any gymnastics team. Russia, China, Kazakhstan. All a them, 'round the world, lemme tell you, big up all the natural resources, Jamaica. ♪ Now let me give you some licks, you know you need some discipline! We want to thank you ladies for giving it your back, belly, and spine, but we are down to the last two finalists! ♪ Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to-- YOU are going to decide the winner of the Dancehall Queen Compeition tonight! It comes down to the two finalists. Lady Flex and Lady Splitz Lemme hear a round of applause for Lady Splitz, of Trench Town, hometown girl. (applause and cheers) Thank you people. Lemme hear it for Lady Flex over here! What do ya'll say? (louder applause and cheers) I think we have our winner. Lady Splitz is the winner, the new Dancehall Queen For the first time ever! (cheers and boo-ing from the audience) The crowd has spoken. (cheers and boo-ing from the audience) ♪ Move from me. Go 'round suh. (kisses teeth) Go 'round suh! Lady Splitz! Yeah! (audience cheers and claps) It's a shit hole... I mean, really-- If you can get a job, my mum can give me a loan. I don't know, Ev. But you love me, right? (giggles) Then say yes. Yes. ♪ Everton, no! (screams) SLAP! (grunts) Stop it! No! Me love him! SLAP! Everton! Everton! No mummy! Stop it! No! You'll never see him again! Angela! (grunts) Stop! Everton! You disgrace! You shame me! Stop! Moma no! Stop it! Everton! Everton! Everton... Alright. ♪ This is beautiful, See, this here-- Overstand? Yeah. Forwards. Yes, my Lord. My youth, once again-- Jah! (everyone) Rastafari! Hey. Hey. Oh, Cola Champagne. Mmhmm. Oh, man. Oh-- Mi almost forget-- Ras sent something' for you. Thanks. No problem. ♪ Mmm. I'm telling you, people in New York would line-up around the block for this. New York... New York is special. I'll do anything to go back. But, Dunston... This... Is the kinda thing that got you here in the first place. Looks like you in the same place as me. You no know me-- You don't know nuttin' 'bout mi life. You don't know who I am-- Whatagwan brethren? Yo, man, what's up? Is it your problem? ! It's your problem! Come-- Use them zinc-- Now go on. Mr. Jim, please-- I'm so sorry. Please. Don't do it, please! Dawg, come on dawg, come on, dawg... Dawg this is me, dawg, dawg, this is me-- Dawg, this is me- - We go back, dawg-- No, dawg, don't listen to him-- Don't listen to him, dawg. WHACK! Listen to dat, man! WHACK! (grunts) Yeah- - Harder. WHACK! (grunts) WHACK! WHACK! Fuck him up. Harder! WHACK! WHACK! (grunts) Bamba clot, yeah! (breathing heavily) WHACK! (grunts) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Looks like he's done. Continue. I'm done. ♪ You done? YOU DONE? ! (metal scraping) So you're done, eh? (hacking) (spitting) You done now. Go on! CLANG! ♪ There's no way! Take a seat. Let's see... Posession of marijuana with intent to traffic... Certainly not original, eh? Look, I've already told you, I got it from my mates, alright? I wasn't trafficking anything. But, you're the only one here right now, aren't you? Now, the drugs we can plea out, that still leaves the theft over for the joyriding. Oh, come on, really- - That's rubish! I mean, that's Rudy's father's car! Well, you took his Mercedes without his consent. Last time I looked, that's a crime, Mr St. Clair. Mr. Irving, will he have to go to jail? Well, likely. Since Mr St. Clair took it upon himself to fail to appear, twice. Worst case scenerio? Two years. No! No way a bit of weed is worth two years! Mr St. Clair-- Please, take a seat. And let me finish. If you own up to what you did. Take some responsibility for your actions... What's that mean? If he pleads guilty to all charges-- I'm not guilty of anything! Sentencing will likely be 3-6 months. And there's a possibility of a suspended sentence. Best case scenerio. Right-- That's great-- Oh, shut it! Why do you keep doing these things? Mr St. Clair, think of your future. ♪ ♪ ...the situation ♪ is getting outta control. ♪ ♪ I'm coming up for the children, ♪ ♪ who don't know where to go. ♪ ♪ With nobody to teach them, ♪ ♪ how will they every know... ♪ ♪ Mrs Singh-- Just send me my kids. But, Marva, your kids are Canadian. You have no income, no home for them. You know these conditions must be met before I can release them out of the country. They're my kids! Marva, we have no choice! No! No! I have no choice! Okay? But you- - You have a choice! Look, I am afraid I just can't-- Eugh! Marva-- I can help you. Marva, listen to me-- No! Help me! Shh! Shh! You want them kids, right? Stop it-- Listen to me. Uncle Archie will build a room on the house for your kids. Eh? Stop! You see the building blocks outside? They're for your kids-- You want your kids with you? Eh? (crying) (crying) (gasp in pain) Why? Why you do this for? What else do I know how to do? Huh? This isn't you, Dunston. You don't know me! Dunston- - Your mother's work number is just ringing. Do you have another number for her? That's all we got. Sorry-- I talked to her at lunch, maybe she just-- Ow! What you think they're gonna do when they find out mom works outta state? Think! Ow! You don't have to pinch so hard! Office? Oh hi, Mrs. Ray. Mr. Dunston- - I'm ready to hear your side of the story-- Mr. Ray, your wife is on Line 1. Not now-- She said it was urgent. Tonight... It's you, beyotch. One more thing-- Can you sign there, please? ♪ WHACK! Dunston! You know, but right after that... Things became real clear. You fight, or be killed. Dunston-- I started hustling shortly after that. And here I am. Hey-- I don't want this. ♪ I know. ♪ Of course. Will you take this ting for a girl? Alright. Angie-- Bun! Just the water, please, ma'am-- Bun, bun... No, can't have that right now, Ty. Only have enough for water. We can't-- Hey, look-- It's alright. Thanks, man. Yeah-- We'll take a bun too, ma'am. Alright. Thank you. Here you go, Ty. Go ahead-- Patty's still hot, Sweetie Lou? (kisses teeth) Boy-- Look, I'll take three and a phone card, please. Eh, you is rich today! Sweetie Lou, didn't speak to your husband, did you? About the room? Sweetie Lou-- Come on, that's ridiculous-- Sweetie Lou, you know me. Truly, truly sorry, baby. Mi sorry. Alright. Hey! It's okay, man-- Thanks, man-- Yeah-- So, you just got dipped? Is it that obvious? I've been here seven years myself. Shite... Oh no, I'm heading back to London. Oh yeah? Yup. Mum's got me a fancy lawyer working on my case and everything. Hm-- Well, good luck with that, man. Keep your head up. Thanks. Eat your food, man-- Huh? Eat your food. Finish that, man. Hey, man, what's up with all your tatts? Oh-- This is my family back home. Two sons, ex-wife. (laughs) This right here? 'No struggle, no progress', man. 'Cause this place. Down fašistièka Republic! Come here! Tintin! Hold it! You're not going anywhere! Stop it, dammit! Hold it! Turn around! Let me see your hands! Let me see your hands! What are you going do with that gun? Nothing! Drop it or I'll kill you! How is it? And you, bro? -Going. Do not run away, wait. What is it? -We need to talk. What's that man? Come on, tell me. I've got guys who can make purchased your merchandise. Yeah? Experts for pljaèkanje van profiæi. -Okay, and when they need it? It depends. -About what? About me. Why? Because taking 50 percent of sales. -50 Percent? ! You're crazy! What we doing, hut? ! I pulled you out of shit and so we thank! He'd be here without me? The stairwell to sell three grams of hashish! Do not do that! What You're pissing? Talk. If come up with a plan, You'll earn more money. They will not give my brothers just squeeze. -Which brothers? Who's got a fat, your brothers or you? I... That's right! You've got guts! You know the market. We make millions! Think! Thanks for the shirt. It is still in a coma, but outside dition. That's better. But you should have just obiæi neighborhood and find out how much it is. I'm sorry it was, but I thought that crime police shoot so bad. Squat is closed, all in all good. It is celebrated? Nothing, drink appetizer. I'll tell you what we are celebrating. Here I am in the lab. They found 2 samples DNA on the bag and Cetin head. When will the results? Tomorrow. I told you if you trust in me. Having a good time in the Judicial. How are you, Vincent? You get my message? I prefer to come for you than that we are waiting for you like a fool at home. Well I did, did not you? Is there for me? Of course! Amin, can you... -Here, we'll share. You know that Herville leaving? -Seriously? He applied for a deputy director of the anti-terrorist unit. Poor are getting better, as always. -There Any others cold? -It should be. One test, Vincent. By this what you're smelling? Well, guys... There's no more beer. Let? Can. I'll get my things. Hello! -Back to work, guys! You can not go on like that, Tintin. I give all of yourself, okay? Just what you did not shot. -He threatened me. This is the worst-case scenario legitimate defense. -Get a grip. Stop bothering me! Nothing I did not ask! -And just hustling? I said you're coming to mass You! You're fucked in the head! OK? There! Pierre! I wanted to find before you, but I have not arrived. Sit. I can not, I parked illegally. And my friends just go. Come on! I visited some Tellier. He wants 50,000 euros for an accident in the basement. Funny, it seems to think that I'll pay him. This guy's a jerk. I do not know what a lawyer. What kind of accident? UltimateFightChampionship. Berserker fight in which all blows allowed. Not allowed, but the posjeæeno well the money is on the bet. I know it is not good engage in illegal things. I'll stop, but I will not over become a provincial night clerk. What exactly happened? Stupid Tellier's cousin sent into combat. In the second round broke his spine. Will no longer walk, but I do? He should not have come. You know that you can be prosecuted because of the violence and causing disability? No worries, I have a very good attorney. -Just so. I am a lawyer, I'm not to your debt. Solve it. Hello. -Hi. Dude! Thomas! How's he doing? Not so bad. There cerebral hematoma, but should to withdraw. -Will there be consequences? I had no idea. I'm not a doctor. They closed squat. I know. If you want, come in Montrouge. There are places. Thank you. Here we are, do not worry. We will avenge you. Is Pierre here? I know 's early, but I see it. Pierre does not work here. Yeah? I'll give you his new address. I guess he not sit with what detention. We all have our limits. But he seemed love, poor guy. Do not bother, you might You may be of help. I was wondering who posted photos of my investigative files on the Internet. He is not. It can not be he said. But you could be you. Why would I do? Because you hate cops. Because you have access to the files. And as soon as you smell something, you're close. Oh well, at Pierre's to solve. He was responsible for the dossier. Do not tell him! Why would not I? Because it does not make sense. Say 'll tell you whom I gave the pictures. Who? Thomas Riffautu. Deek one for his client. Sophie Mazerat? He was with her in the car when they H. Rozier left the body in the woods? I gave you his name, It's already a great deal, right? Search Riffauta with two and one F. Mighty police mind! Hi there! We know to whom belongs the second sample DNA. -Who? -Idrissi Cottages. Known for violence and robberies. Already a odgulio three years. Negro and conforms Where Çetin description. Where is it? In the neighborhood Merisiers Champignyju. In this neighborhood would not enter. What do you know? We'll see. You and Tintin in the last time so much hassle! What do you want? It's okay, I came to Omar. Omar! -Thomas! How you, pal? How are you? -Super. We met in detention. You have to help me. What you need? -Weapons. -Good. Explosives. We will fix it. Here you are. Writings from all Garnierovih hearing. Copies of course. How did you come to that? Maybe gonna sounded pretentious, but I think that the criminal zapisnièar Court weak to me. -You bet! For each hearing There is evidence, the nature of cases, names of parties and attorneys, and here the opinion of the court after vijeæanja. Excellent! A country that is so held to archive is not completely lost. Hello! Remember me? What do you want? -Shut up! -You are wrong! I talked Jorkalom. We know. He wanted us to send a message, So we will now and we send it. What do you say? Yeah fuck off. Where are you taking me? Shut up! Come in.. Does not scare you too the presence of the wolf in the fold? -Not at all. I just got a pile work and a little time. But I will you about talk about it. Fast-ll. Garnier was given a suspended sentence or oslobaðao perpetrators who have committed serious offenses. Conjugal violence sexual assault... All clients odvjetnièkog Officers Hans and Bertier. I'm blue describes it to their clients. As you can see, whenever Pamphlet probation or liberating in favor of the accused, the lawyer was out of the office of Hans and Bertier. Incredible! There were rumors, you know. -About him? About his way of life. Garnier live above its possibilities. Borrowed money from many people from the palace of justice. Grumbled, money is paid back, and rumors have quietened down. When was that? Somewhere last October or November. This corresponds to the date of the judgment. Roban, if this proves true, the thing is terribly serious. Garnier could in jail. It will end up on the front pages Even if we try to be discreet. Career and his life will be destroyed. We must be aware of. I never innocent person I would not have sent you to jail not even the last bags. Is it good? Thank you. Right. Here you go. -You will not keep your cell phone? -No worries. You never know. See you. What are you doing here? Who are you? Looking for an apartment... There is no housing. I have no money. You've got the documents? No. Come on, get out! Line! You do not have to look for here. How long was it? -10 Minutes. -Just. In barely 10 minutes later I noticed the ad, intercepted, searched and forced him out of the neighborhood. I'm not ga over there look, it's over. We can go. -OK. Here we go. Listen, it's not complicated. I want 4 grenades, 3 electrical detonators and 5 kg of explosives. Explosives? What kind? -C4. Got it or not? I've got everything. But it will give you 5 pounds? You want to breathe the air of Paris? You are right. Better that nothing not talking. Have you got money? This is most important. No worries. What do you think? Walk! Get on your knees! It's funny... Are you deaf? OK! Take me back to Paris to talk with Jorkalom and you'll money! That's what we've done already, and you blew it. Listen, I... Are you still ga and missed! No, no! Jorkalu gonna go away. Say He'll not joking. That we will kill you within the next time and throw in his backyard, in front of his wife and children! Here we go. Look at this! I think I found Thomas Riffauta. Let's see. I think this is it. No permanent residence. 1.72 m, few sentences, but nothing serious... That's him. He was with Sophie Mazerat and Hugo Rozier. They were there when the bomb Rozierovim exploded in his hands. I just saw him in that neighborhood with a black guy. -Kidding. I saw him in the squat! Maybe just buy drugs. Where did you get his name? From Joséphine Karlsson. She is an attorney S. Mazerat, Sophie and she slept with him. Counterterrorism has his record? To call them? -Absolutely not! Not a word. Tomorrow we will try and arrest Shack know that it is connected with Riffautom. Not a word, especially not Hervilleu. Thomas Riffaut is ours. Laura! That fucking asshole Sophie Mazerat! See you tomorrow! -Until tomorrow! Do you have any plans? Are you for dinner? Gilo, hold me! Drop me to Vincent! Let go, you do not create problems. Just want to hurt you, huh? You're in bed? -I waited. I wanted to call you, but I eventually escorted Gilo. I go into the shower, I corpse. Subtitles by Deptford Previously on Teen Wolf Someone's controlling him. You promised this was only gonna be for a few weeks. Look, just because we're in a trailer does not mean we're trailer park trash. Exactly. We're worse. We don't even have enough money to be in a trailer park. Don't have a meltdown, okay? It's probably just the generator. You mean the thing that runs the electricity and water. I'm sorry. I'm just tired of feeling slightly terrified all the time. It's not like I wanna be. Hey, look, it's going to get better. Sean? If Jackson doesn't know what he's doing, then he probably doesn't know someone's controlling him. Or he doesn't remember. What if it's the same kind of thing that happened with Lydia when she took off from the hospital? A fugue state? He'd have to forget everything... the murder. Getting rid of the blood. But he had help with one thing... the video. And someone else helped him forget that. Whoever's controlling him. Are you sure Jackson has no clue about any of this? He thinks he's still becoming a werewolf and that being with Lydia somehow delayed the whole thing. So do we try to convince him he's not? If it helps us find out who's controlling him, then yeah. Do you think he'll talk to us after what we did? Yeah, it's us. He'll talk to us. Right? You will not go within 50 feet of Jackson whittemore. You will not speak to him. You will not approach him. You will not assault or harass him physically or psychologically. What about school? You can attend classes while attempting to maintain a 50-foot distance. Okay, what if we both have to use the bathroom at the same time and there's only two stalls available and they're only right next to each other? I'll just hold it. Do I need to remind you how lucky we are that they're not pressing charges? Oh, come on, it was just a joke. A joke? Yes, I didn't think it would be taken this seriously. Dad, humor's very subjective, okay? I mean, we're talking multiple levels of interpretation here. Okay, well, how exactly am I supposed to interpret the stolen prison transport van, huh? We filled the tank! Move! It's not just this. Although, a restraining order is a new low that I didn't think that you would reach quite this soon. It's everything on top of it. The completely bizarre behavior, the late nights coming home, having to beg Mr. Harris for you to make up that chemistry test that you missed. I missed a chemistry test? Really, Scott? Really? I have to ground you. I am grounding you. You are grounded. What about work? Fine... Other than work. And no TV. The TV's broken. Then no computer. I need the computer for school. Then no, uh... no Stiles. What... no Stiles? No Stiles! And no more car privileges. Give me your keys. Give 'em to me! Oh, for the love of God. Mom, you want me to... no. Mom, come on, let me just... mom. What is going on with you? Is this about Allison? Do you really wanna know? Is this about your father? It is, isn't it? Okay, you know what, um... We'll talk about this at home. I'm gonna go get the car. I'm the worst son ever. Well, I'm not exactly winning any prizes either. Dammit! You give him a restraining order, and he's mocking you! He was mo... and what do I do about going to the bathroom? So why do we need their help? Because it's harder to kill than I thought. I still don't know who it is. And they do? They might. Which is why I need one of you to get on their good side. Scott or Stiles? Either. You know, the full moon's coming, Derek. I'm aware of that. These look comfortable. You said you were gonna teach us to change whenever we wanted. There hasn't been time. But if you have to lock us up during the full moon, that means you're alone against the argents. They haven't found us. Yet! So how about we forget the Kanima? We... Can't! There was something about the way Gerard looked at it. He wasn't afraid... at all. I don't know what he knows or what he's planning. But I'm sure about one thing. We have to find it first. It's everything Lydia could translate. And trust me, she was very confused. Yeah, what'd you tell her? That we were part of an online gaming community that battles mythical creatures. I am part of an online gaming community that battles mythical creatures. Great. Okay, does it say how to find out who's controlling him? Not really. But Stiles was right about the murderers. It calls the Kanima a weapon of vengeance. There's a story in there about this South American priest who uses the Kanima to execute murderers in his village... all right, see? So maybe it's not all that bad. Until the bond grew strong enough that it killed whoever he wanted it to. All bad, all very, very bad. Here's the thing, though. The Kanima's actually supposed to be a werewolf. But it can't be... "Until it resolves that in its past which manifested it." Okay, if that means that Jackson could use a few thousand hours of therapy, I could've told you that myself. What if... It has something to do with his parents? His real parents. Yeah, does anybody actually know what happened to them? Lydia might. What if she doesn't know anything? Well, he doesn't have a restraining order against me, so... I'll talk to him myself. Okay, what do I do? You have a make-up exam, remember? Promise me. If he does anything, you run the other way. I can take care of myself. Allison, if you get hurt while I'm busy with some stupid test, someone's going to need to take care of me. If he does anything... Like? Anything... Weird or bizarre... anything. Anything evil! Jackson? Did you still want to discuss your paper? You have one hour, Mr. McCall. Begin. Really, Scott? I can't. Oh... I can't do this. Can I do this? No, I am gonna go to work. I am gonna go to work. I am just gonna straighten up. Just a tad. Oh, you just scared the hell out of me. Sorry, I wa... I was just, um, I was... nothing. Ah, that's a... nice heels. Oh! Yeah, uh, my feet were hurting, so I... same reason I never wear mine. What? Uh, forget it. Hey, did you hear about the underground show? Apparently, they've got some big name spinning. Oh, you mean like a rave? Oh, is it still a rave if you don't roll? I just call it a party. But hey, I got a friend who can hook us up with tickets if you're down. Want me to get you one? Yeah. Yeah, great. All right, cool. Um, it's Friday, so... Looking forward to it. I'm not supposed to tell anyone. Come on, anyone who ever says "I'm not supposed to tell anyone" is always dying to tell someone, so tell me! Why do you wanna know? I can't tell you that. Then I'm not telling you. But you are telling me that could tell me something if you wanted to tell me? Was that a question? It felt like a question. Well... Tell me if this feels like an answer. No. Jackson? In here. Is something wrong? Y-you could've warned me. You're the one that walked into the boys' locker room. I thought I heard you... I th... forget it. Did you wanna talk about something? We can talk later. Let's talk now. Lydia, come on! Ly... wait! Why are you asking Lydia about Jackson's real parents? Why are you bringing out the claws on camera? That's right. You wanna play catwoman? I'll be your Batman. If you're wondering about Jackson's real parents, they're about half a mile from here. In beacon hills cemetery. I... I have to get to cl... oh, no, no, you don't. No, you have perfect grades. You can skip one class. Are you okay? Your heart's beating like crazy. Allison. Do you know how they died? Maybe. If you tell me why you're so interested. Um... It's him, isn't it? What? Who? Him who? The test didn't work, but it's still him. It's Jackson. What do you think you're doing? The hour's up. You're not leaving till every single one of these bubbles is filled in. I thought you wanted to talk. I... I... I Chang mmi. You sure? Because you look a little stressed. Is it Scott? Is it that whole thing? I still can't believe you actually think your little Romeo and Juliet story's gonna last. You know he's eventually just gonna run to Derek and join up with him and his little wolf pack. If you don't realize that, then you gotta be the stupidest bitch in this town. Well, other than Scott since he's a pretty stupid bitch himself. Stop it. Just stop! What are you gonna do, Allison, hmm... When your stupid bitch of boyfriend turns on you? They kill your aunt. They almost kill Lydia. Who do you really think's gonna be next, hmm? Not you. No, no, it can't be you, because you're in love. Is that what you tell yourself, hmm? "Scott's different and everything's gonna work out because we're in love." Well, if that's what you believe, then you're already dead. I just... I just hope your dad has been teaching you moves to protect yourself. Actually, he has. What are you doing here? I... I'm fine. I'm fine. I have a restraining order! Trust me, I restrained myself. You can't tell Derek, okay? There's a lot more to this that you don't know about. And just because you got the Alpha bite makeover doesn't give you a license to go around destroying people. Why not? That's all anybody ever used to do to me. I used to have the worst crush in the world on you. Yeah, you, Stiles. And you never once even noticed me. Exactly how you're not noticing me right now. Guys! What the hell's going on? Hey! Enough! Enough. What do you idiots think you're doing? Jackson! Calm down! Mr. McCall, you wanna explain yourself? You dropped this. You and you... actually... all of you... Detention. 3:00. Hi, there. Oh, I'll make an announcement, have Scott brought to the office. Um, actually... I came here to talk to you. Me? Busy after school? Always. Well, unbusy yourself. I wanna talk to you. Actually, I want to show you something. I thought we'd gotten past the slightly rapey language. And... Bring the flower. Oh, uh... we can't be in detention together. I have a restraining order against these tools. All of these tools? No, just us tools. Fine. You two, over there. I'm gonna kill him. No, you're not. You're going to find out who's controlling him and then you're gonna help save him. You were right, let's kill him. Kanima. I was under the impression they were no longer dating. Me too, but it looks like they are. And more. A lot more. How do you know it's not some other impressionable young girl... With severely low standards? Because I know Scott. And Allison is the only one that he's ever talked about like that. I just wanna make sure they continue to be safe. I couldn't agree more. What if it's Matt? I mean, this whole thing comes back to the video, right? Danny said that Matt was the one who found the two hours of footage missing. Exactly! He's trying to throw suspicion off himself. So he makes Jackson kill Isaac's dad, one of argent's hunters, and the mechanic working on your jeep? Why? Because... he's evil. You just don't like him. The guy... Bugs me. I don't know what it is. Just look at his face. Any other theories? You okay? I have to go to the bathroom. Are you all right? Hey, you don't look so good. I just need to get some water. No one leaves their seats. Stiles says you know how Jackson's parents died. Maybe. Talk. It was a car accident. My dad was the insurance investigator, and every time he sees Jackson drive by in his Porsche, he makes some comment about the huge settlement he'll be getting when he's 18. So not only is Jackson rich now, but he's getting even richer at 18? There's something so deeply wrong with that. You know what? I could try to find the insurance report on my dad's in-box. He keeps everything. Scott McCall, please report to the principal's office. I'm fine, just give me a minute. Perfect. Don't forget the dates. "Passengers arrived at the hospital doa. The estimated time of death... 9:26 P.M., June 14, 1995." Jackson's birthday is June 15th. Oh, no, I'm sorry. Uh, yes, I'm leaving. But none of you are. You may go when you're done with the re-shelving. Enjoy the rest of your evening. The principal wanted to see me? No... I did. I'm concerned about the detention today. How Allison ended up in there with you and Mr. stilinski. A sink was ripped off the wall. You're lucky I'm here to explain that to people somehow. You realize that? Yeah. I do now. Good. Are you having sex with my daughter? I'm not having sex with your daughter. I certainly hope not. Hello? It means he was born after his mom died... by c-section. They had to pull him out of her dead body. You okay, dude? So was it an accident or not? The word all over the report is "inconclusive." Then his parents could have been murdered? If they were, then it falls in line with the Kanima myth. You know? It seeks out and kills murderers. But for Jackson? Or for whoever's controlling him? We have to talk to him. We have to tell him. He's not gonna l... Over here. I think she's having a seizure. He's alive. Hey, we need to get her to a hospital. Derek... only to Derek. When we get her to the hospital... to Derek. To Derek. Go. I'm staying here with you. He can't take her alone. Not like this. And Matt... I've got to call an ambulance for him, just go. This doesn't feel right. It's okay. No, it's not. No, it's not right. It doesn't... it doesn't mean anything. But it feels like it does. Scott, go. Go. Hello? Over here. Is this your house? It was. I'll tell you all about it. But first... did you bring the flower? I couldn't find it. That's okay. But since you don't have it, I'm gonna need that kiss. Is... Something wrong? Pull her up. Is she dying? She might, I... which is why this is gonna hurt. You broke her arm! It'll trigger the healing process. I still gotta get the venom out. This is where it's really gonna hurt. Stiles... you make a good Batman. You know who it is. Jackson. You just wanted Erica to confirm it, didn't you? I'm gonna help you stop him. As part of your pack. If you want me in, fine. But we'll do it on one condition. We're gonna catch him, not kill him. And? And we do it my way. Thank you, Jenna. Thanks, you guys. I appreciate it. Please... you have to tell him. It's okay, your baby's fine. Not... The baby. He killed Sean. Honey, the police know. They don't... They didn't see it. It wasn't human. All right. Please... no... I'm so sorry, Lydia. All of this must be terribly confusing. But at least you know that you're not actually crazy. Well... not completely. There's bound to be some residual effects, but you're a strong girl. Personally I think that you're gonna pull through with a minimal amount of post traumatic stress. Or maybe... a few years of profoundly disturbing nightmares. I had a plan, you know. It was a good plan. But if there's one thing that I've learned in life, it's to always have a backup. That would be you. Your immunity makes you a perfect plan b. You wouldn't turn from the bite. You wouldn't die. But you would be able to do... One very important thing. Do you know what that is, Lydia? Previously on Teen Wolf Someone's controlling him. You promised this was only gonna be for a few weeks. Look, just because we're in a trailer does not mean we're trailer park trash. Exactly. We're worse. We don't even have enough money to be in a trailer park. Don't have a meltdown, okay? It's probably just the generator. You mean the thing that runs the electricity and water. I'm sorry. I'm just tired of feeling slightly terrified all the time. It's not like I wanna be. Hey, look, it's going to get better. Sean? Noooo! If Jackson doesn't know what he's doing, then he probably He'd have to forget everything... the murder. Or he doesn't remember. What if it's the same kind of thing that happened with Lydia when she took off from the hospital? A fugue state? doesn't know someone's controlling him. Getting rid of the blood. But he had help with one thing... the video. And someone else helped him forget that. Whoever's controlling him. Are you sure Jackson has no clue about any of this? He thinks he's still becoming a werewolf and that being with Lydia somehow delayed the whole thing. So do we try to convince him he's not? If it helps us find out who's controlling him, then yeah. Do you think he'll talk to us after what we did? Yeah, it's us. He'll talk to us. Right? You will not go within 50 feet of Jackson whittemore. You will not speak to him. You will not approach him. You will not assault or harass him physically or psychologically. What about school? You can attend classes while attempting to maintain a 50-foot distance. Okay, what if we both have to use the bathroom at the same time and there's only two stalls available and they're only right next to each other? I'll just hold it. Do I need to remind you how lucky we are that they're not pressing charges? Oh, come on, it was just a joke. A joke? Yes, I didn't think it would be taken this seriously. Dad, humor's very subjective, okay? I mean, we're talking multiple levels of interpretation here. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay, well, how exactly am I supposed to interpret the stolen prison transport van, huh? We filled the tank! Move! It's not just this. Although, a restraining order is a new low that I didn't think that you would reach quite this soon. It's everything on top of it. The completely bizarre behavior, the late nights coming home, having to beg Mr. Harris for you to make up that chemistry test that you missed. I missed a chemistry test? Really, Scott? Really? I have to ground you. I am grounding you. You are grounded. What about work? Fine... Other than work. And no TV. The TV's broken. Then no computer. I need the computer for school. Then no, uh... no Stiles. What... no Stiles? No Stiles! And no more car privileges. Give me your keys. Give 'em to me! Oh, for the love of God. Mom, you want me to... no. Mom, come on, let me just... mom. Mom! What is going on with you? Is this about Allison? Do you really wanna know? Yeah. Is this about your father? It is, isn't it? Okay, you know what, um... We'll talk about this at home. I'm gonna go get the car. I'm the worst son ever. Well, I'm not exactly winning any prizes either. Dammit! You give him a restraining order, and he's mocking you! He was mo... and what do I do about going to the bathroom? So why do we need their help? Because it's harder to kill than I thought. I still don't know who it is. And they do? They might. Which is why I need one of you to get on their good side. Scott or Stiles? Either. You know, the full moon's coming, Derek. I'm aware of that. These look comfortable. You said you were gonna teach us to change whenever we wanted. There hasn't been time. But if you have to lock us up during the full moon, that means you're alone against the argents. They haven't found us. Yet! So how about we forget the Kanima? We... Can't! There was something about the way Gerard looked at it. He wasn't afraid... at all. I don't know what he knows or what he's planning. But I'm sure about one thing. We have to find it first. It's everything Lydia could translate. And trust me, she was very confused. Yeah, what'd you tell her? That we were part of an online gaming community that battles mythical creatures. I am part of an online gaming community that battles mythical creatures. O-oh. Great. Okay, does it say how to find out who's controlling him? Not really. But Stiles was right about the murderers. Yes! It calls the Kanima a weapon of vengeance. There's a story in there about this South American priest who uses the Kanima to execute murderers in his village... all right, see? So maybe it's not all that bad. Until the bond grew strong enough that it killed whoever he wanted it to. All bad, all very, very bad. Here's the thing, though. The Kanima's actually supposed to be a werewolf. But it can't be... "Until it resolves that in its past which manifested it." Okay, if that means that Jackson could use a few thousand hours of therapy, I could've told you that myself. What if... It has something to do with his parents? His real parents. Yeah, does anybody actually know what happened to them? Lydia might. What if she doesn't know anything? Well, he doesn't have a restraining order against me, so... I'll talk to him myself. Okay, what do I do? You have a make-up exam, remember? Promise me. If he does anything, you run the other way. I can take care of myself. Allison, if you get hurt while I'm busy with some stupid test, someone's going to need to take care of me. If he does anything... Like? Anything... Weird or bizarre... anything. Anything evil! Ah... Ow! Jackson? Did you still want to discuss your paper? You have one hour, Mr. McCall. Begin. Really, Scott? I can't. Oh... I can't do this. Can I do this? No, I am gonna go to work. I am gonna go to work. I am just gonna straighten up. Just a tad. * sitting in the back * * of this Cadillac * * thinking I work way too hard * * to be where I'm at * * blinded by the cars * * in the boulevards * * I always took my cues * * from the real star * * I've got a plan * * in the palm of my hand * * to get me going, oh no * * but I'm just trying * * to get by * Oh, you just scared the hell out of me. Sorry, I wa... I was just, um, I was... nothing. Ah, that's a... nice heels. Oh! Yeah, uh, my feet were hurting, so I... same reason I never wear mine. What? Uh, forget it. Hey, did you hear about the underground show? Apparently, they've got some big name spinning. Oh, you mean like a rave? Oh, is it still a rave if you don't roll? I just call it a party. But hey, I got a friend who can hook us up with tickets if you're down. Want me to get you one? Yeah. Yeah, great. Yeah? All right, cool. Um, it's Friday, so... Looking forward to it. Yeah. I'm not supposed to tell anyone. Come on, anyone who ever says "I'm not supposed to tell anyone" is always dying to tell someone, so tell me! Why do you wanna know? I can't tell you that. Then I'm not telling you. Butyouaretellingmethat could tell me something if you wanted to tell me? Wasthataquestion? Itfeltlikeaquestion. Well... Tellme if this feels like an answer. No. Jackson? Inhere. Is something wrong? Y-youcould'vewarnedme. You'retheonethatwalked into the boys' locker room. IthoughtIheard you... I th... forget it. Didyouwannatalk about something? Wecantalklater. No. Let's talk now. Lydia! Lydia, come on! Ly... wait! Ow! Ah, ah, hey, Erica. WhyareyouaskingLydia about Jackson's real parents? Whyareyoubringing out the claws on camera? That's right. You wanna play catwoman? I'll be your Batman. Ifyou'rewonderingabout Jackson's real parents, they're about half a mile from here. In beacon hills cemetery. I... I haveto gettocl... oh, no, no, you don't. No, you have perfect grades. You can skip one class. Are you okay? Your heart's beating like crazy. Allison. Do you know how they died? Maybe. If you tell me why you're so interested. Um... It's him, isn't it? What? Who? Him who? The test didn't work, but it's still him. It's Jackson. What do you think you're doing? The hour's up. You're not leaving till every single one of these bubbles is filled in. I thought you wanted to talk. I... I... I Chang mmi. You sure? Because you look a little stressed. Is it Scott? Is it that whole thing? I still can't believe you actually think your little Romeo and Juliet story's gonna last. You know he's eventually just gonna run to Derek and join up with him and his little wolf pack. If you don't realize that, then you gotta be the stupidest bitch in this town. Well, other than Scott since he's a pretty stupid bitch himself. Stop it. Just stop! What are you gonna do, Allison, hmm... When your stupid bitch of boyfriend turns on you? They kill your aunt. They almost kill Lydia. Who do you really think's gonna be next, hmm? Not you. No, no, it can't be you, because you're in love. Is that what you tell yourself, hmm? "Scott's different and everything's gonna work out because we're in love." Well, if that's what you believe, then you're already dead. I just... I just hope your dad has been teaching you moves to protect yourself. Actually, he has. Allison? What are you doing here? I... I'm fine. I'm fine. I have a restraining order! Trust me, I restrained myself. * You got the epic mother... * * you got the epic mother... * * you got the epic mother... * * you got the epic mother... * You can't tell Derek, okay? There's a lot more to this that you don't know about. And just because you got the Alpha bite makeover doesn't give you a license to go around destroying people. Why not? That's all anybody ever used to do to me. I used to have the worst crush in the world on you. Yeah, you, Stiles. And you never once even noticed me. Exactly how you're not noticing me right now. * You got the epic mother... * Guys! What the hell's going on? Hey! Enough! Enough. * You got the epic mother... * What do you idiots think you're doing? Jackson! Calm down! Mr. McCall, you wanna explain yourself? Stilinski! You dropped this. You and you... actually... all of you... Detention. 3:00. Hi, there. Oh, I'll make an announcement, have Scott brought to the office. Um, actually... I came here to talk to you. Me? Busy after school? Always. Well, unbusy yourself. I wanna talk to you. Actually, I want to show you something. I thought we'd gotten past the slightly rapey language. And... Bring the flower. Oh, uh... we can't be in detention together. I have a restraining order against these tools. All of these tools? No, just us tools. Fine. You two, over there. I'm gonna kill him. No, you're not. You're going to find out who's controlling him and then you're gonna help save him. No. You were right, let's kill him. Oh... No. Kanima. I was under the impression they were no longer dating. Me too, but it looks like they are. And more. A lot more. How do you know it's not some other impressionable young girl... With severely low standards? Because I know Scott. And Allison is the only one that he's ever talked about like that. I just wanna make sure they continue to be safe. I couldn't agree more. Hey. What if it's Matt? I mean, this whole thing comes back to the video, right? Danny said that Matt was the one who found the two hours of footage missing. Exactly! He's trying to throw suspicion off himself. So he makes Jackson kill Isaac's dad, one of argent's hunters, and the mechanic working on your jeep? Yes! Why? Because... he's evil. You just don't like him. The guy... Bugs me. I don't know what it is. Just look at his face. Any other theories? You okay? I have to go to the bathroom. Are you all right? Hey, you don't look so good. I just need to get some water. No one leaves their seats. Stiles says you know how Jackson's parents died. Maybe. Talk. It was a car accident. My dad was the insurance investigator, and every time he sees Jackson drive by in his Porsche, he makes some comment about the huge settlement he'll be getting when he's 18. So not only is Jackson rich now, but he's getting even richer at 18? Yep. There's something so deeply wrong with that. You know what? I could try to find the insurance report on my dad's in-box. He keeps everything. Scott McCall, please report to the principal's office. Jackson! I'm fine, just give me a minute. Perfect. Don't forget the dates. "Passengers arrived at the hospital doa. The estimated time of death... 9:26 P.M., June 14, 1995." Jackson's birthday is June 15th. Oh, no, I'm sorry. Uh, yes, I'm leaving. But none of you are. You may go when you're done with the re-shelving. Enjoy the rest of your evening. The principal wanted to see me? No... I did. I'm concerned about the detention today. How Allison ended up in there with you and Mr. stilinski. A sink was ripped off the wall. You're lucky I'm here to explain that to people somehow. You realize that? Yeah. I do now. Good. Are you having sex with my daughter? Uh... No. I'm not having sex with your daughter. I certainly hope not. Hello? It means he was born after his mom died... by c-section. They had to pull him out of her dead body. You okay, dude? So was it an accident or not? The word all over the report is "inconclusive." Then his parents could have been murdered? If they were, then it falls in line with the Kanima myth. You know? It seeks out and kills murderers. But for Jackson? Or for whoever's controlling him? We have to talk to him. We have to tell him. He's not gonna l... Erica! Unh! Over here. Whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey! I think she's having a seizure. He's alive. Hey, we need to get her to a hospital. Derek... only to Derek. When we get her to the hospital... to Derek. To Derek. Go. Hey, Scott! I'm staying here with you. He can't take her alone. Not like this. And Matt... I've got to call an ambulance for him, just go. This doesn't feel right. It's okay. No, it's not. No, it's not right. It doesn't... it doesn't mean anything. But it feels like it does. Scott, go. Go. Okay. Hello? Over here. Is this your house? It was. I'll tell you all about it. But first... did you bring the flower? I couldn't find it. That's okay. But since you don't have it, I'm gonna need that kiss. *Theystareatme* * while I stare at you * * aah-aah-aah * * it's true, I crave you * * it's true, I crave you * Is... Somethingwrong? Pullherup . Isshedying? Shemight,I...which is why this is gonna hurt. Youbrokeherarm ! It'lltriggerthe healing process. Istillgotta get the venom out. This is where it's really gonna hurt. Stiles... you make a good Batman. Youknowwhoitis. Jackson. YoujustwantedErica to confirm it, didn't you? I'm gonna help you stop him. As part of your pack. If you want me in, fine. But we'll do it on one condition. We're gonna catch him, not kill him. And? Andwedo it my way. Thankyou,Jenna. Thanks, you guys. I appreciate it. Please...you have to tell him. It'sokay,yourbaby'sfine . Not... Thebaby. Okay. HekilledSean. Honey,thepoliceknow. Theydon't... They didn't see it. It wasn't human. Okay. All right. All right. Please... no... I'msosorry,Lydia. All of this must be terribly confusing. But at least you know that you're not actually crazy. Well... not completely. There's bound to be some residual effects, but you're a strong girl. Personally I think that you're gonna pull through with a minimal amount of post traumatic stress. Or maybe... a few years of profoundly disturbing nightmares. I had a plan, you know. It was a good plan. But if there's one thing that I've learned in life, it's to always have a backup. That would be you. Yourimmunitymakes you a perfect plan b. You wouldn't turn from the bite. You wouldn't die. But you would be able to do... One very important thing. Do you know what that is, Lydia? Lydia! Jackson will be there seeking his next target. Somethingthataffectsthe Kanima affects its master. Youthinkwe cancatchthem ? Theonequestionthat might mean everything. Peoplearedying,Scott. WhocontrolstheKanima? STlLES: Previously on Teen Wolf... MS. MORELL: Lydia, what's it gonna take to get you to open up? Could I give you a flower? Promise to keep it? I wanted to kiss you. STlLES: When's the Kanima not the Kanima? SCOTT: When it's Jackson. Someone's not protecting him. Someone's controlling him. You promised this was only gonna be for a few weeks. Look, just because we're in a trailer does not mean we're trailer park trash. Exactly. We're worse. We don't even have enough money to be in a trailer park. (electricity CRACKLES) SEAN: Don't have a meltdown, okay? It's probably just the generator. You mean the thing that runs the electricity and water. I'm sorry. I'm just tired of feeling slightly terrified all the time. It's not like I wanna be. (SOBS) Hey, look, it's going to get better. Sean? (inaudible) (GASPS) (gasping) (SCREAMS) (screaming) (SCREECHES) (yelling) No! allison: lfJackson doesn't know what he's doing, then he probably doesn't know that someone's controlling him. Or he doesn't remember. What if it's the same kind of thing that happened with Lydia when she took off from the hospital? A fugue state? SCOTT: He'd have to forget everything. The murder. allison: Getting rid ofthe blood. STlLES: But he had help with one thing though, the video. Maybe someone else helped him forget that. Whoever's controlling him. allison: Are you sure Jackson has no clue about any ofthis? He thinks he's still becoming a werewolf and that being with Lydia somehow delayed the whole thing. allison: So do we try to convince him he's not? If it helps us find out who's controlling him, then yeah. Do you think he'll talk to us after what we did? Yeah, it's us. He'll talk to us. Right? You will not go within 50 feet of Jackson Whittemore. You will not speak to him. You will not approach him. You will not assault or harass him physically or psychologically. What about school? You can attend classes while attempting to maintain a 50-foot distance. Okay, what if we both have to use the bathroom at the same time and there's only two stalls available and they're only right next to each other? I'll just hold it. Do I need to remind you how lucky we are that they're not pressing charges? -Come on, it was just a joke. -A joke? Yes, I didn't think it would be taken that seriously. Dad, humor's very subjective, okay? I mean, we're talking multiple levels of interpretation here. -Uh-huh. -Uh-huh. Okay, well, how exactly am I supposed to interpret the stolen prison transport van, huh? -We filled the tank! -Move! It's not just this. Although, a restraining order is a new low that I didn't think that you would reach quite this soon. It's everything on top of it. The completely bizarre behavior, the late nights coming home, having to beg Mr. Harris for you to make up that chemistry test that you missed. I missed a chemistry test? Really, Scott? Really? I have to ground you. I am grounding you. You are grounded. What about work? Fine. Other than work. And no TV. The TV's broken. Then no computer. I need the computer for school. Then no... No Stiles. -What... No Stiles? -No Stiles! And no more car privileges. Give me your keys. Give 'em to me! For the love of God. -Mom, do you want me to... -No. Mom, come on, let me just... Mom. Mom! (sighs) What is going on with you? Is this about Allison? (sighs) Do you really wanna know? Yeah. Is this about your father? It is, isn't it? Okay, you know what... We'll talk about this at home. I'm gonna go get the car. I'm the worst son ever. Well, I'm not exactly winning any prizes either. Damn it! You give him a restraining order, and he's mocking you! He was... "And what do I do about going to the bathroom"? (MR. WHlTTEMORE continues yelling) So why do we need their help? Because it's harder to kill than I thought. I still don't know who it is. And they do? They might. Which is why I need one of you to get on their good side. Hmm, Scott or Stiles? Either. You know, the full moon's coming, Derek. I'm aware of that. My, these look comfortable. You said you were gonna teach us to change whenever we wanted. There hasn't been time. But if you have to lock us up during the full moon, that means you're alone against the Argents. They haven't found us. Yet! So how about we forget the Kanima? We can't! But there was something about the way Gerard looked at it. He wasn't afraid... At all. I don't know what he knows or what he's planning. But I'm sure about one thing. We have to find it first. allison: It's everything Lydia can translate. And trust me, she was very confused. Yeah, what'd you tell her? That we were part of an online gaming community that battles mythical creatures. I am part of an online gaming community that battles mythical creatures. Oh. Great. Okay, does it say how to find out who's controlling him? Not really. But Stiles was right about the murderers. Yes! It calls the Kanima a weapon of vengeance. There's a story in there about this South American priest who uses the Kanima to execute murderers in his village. All right, see? So maybe it's not all that bad. Until the bond grew strong enough that it killed whoever he wanted it to. All bad, all very, very bad. Here's the thing, though. The Kanima's actually supposed to be a werewolf. But it can't be... "Until it resolves that in its past which manifested it." Okay, if that means that Jackson could use a few thousand hours of therapy, I could've told you that myself. What if it has something to do with his parents? His real parents. Yeah, does anybody actually know what happened to them? Lydia might. What if she doesn't know anything? Well, he doesn't have a restraining order against me, so I'll talk to him myself. Okay, what do I do? You have a make-up exam, remember? Promise me. If he does anything, you run the other way. I can take care of myself. Allison, if you get hurt while I'm busy with some stupid test, someone's going to need to take care of me. -lf he does anything... -Like? Anything weird or bizarre... Anything. Anything evil! (sighs) Jackson? Did you still want to discuss your paper? You have one hour, Mr. McCall. Begin. (sighs) (SCOFFS) Really, Scott? I can't. (sighs) I gotta do this. I gotta do this. No, I am gonna go to work. I am gonna go to work. I am just gonna straighten up. Just a little bit. Just a tad. He won't even know I was here. (MELLOW ROCK SONG playing) (TlCKlNG) You just scared the hell out of me. Sorry, I... I was just, I was... Nothing. That's a... Nice heels. Yeah, my feet were hurting, so I... Same reason I never wear mine. -What? -Uh, forget it. Hey, did you hear about the underground show? Apparently, they've got some big name spinning. You mean like a rave? Is it still a rave if you don't roll? I just call it a party. But hey, I got a friend who can hook us up with tickets if you're down. -Want me to get you one? -Yeah. Yeah, great. Yeah? All right, cool. It's Friday, so... Looking forward to it. Yeah. (JACKSON groaning) I'm not supposed to tell anyone. Come on, anyone who ever says, "I'm not supposed to tell anyone" is always dying to tell someone, so tell me! -Why do you wanna know? -I can't tell you that. Then I'm not telling you. But you are telling me that you could tell me something if you wanted to tell me? Was that a question? It felt like a question. Well, tell me if this feels like an answer. No. Jackson? In here. -ls something wrong? -You could've warned me. You're the one that walked into the boys' locker room. I thought I heard you... Forget it. Did you wanna talk about something? -We can talk later. -No. Let's talk now. Lydia! Lydia, come on! Wait! (WlNClNG) Hey, Erica. Why are you asking Lydia about Jackson's real parents? Why are you bringing out the claws on camera? That's right. You wanna play Catwoman? I'll be your Batman. If you're wondering about Jackson's real parents, they're about half a mile from here. In Beacon Hills Cemetery. I... I have to get to class. No, no, you don't. No, you have perfect grades. You can skip one class. Are you okay? Your heart's beating like crazy. (TlCKlNG) (HEARTBEAT thumping) SCOTT: Allison. Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Do you know how they died? Maybe. If you tell me why you're so interested. It's him, isn't it? What? Who? Him who? The test didn't work, but it's still him. It's Jackson. What do you think you're doing? The hour's up. You're not leaving till every single one of these bubbles is filled in. I thought you wanted to talk. I... I... I changed my mind. You sure? Because you look a little stressed. Is it Scott? Is it that whole thing? I still can't believe you actually think your little Romeo and Juliet story is gonna last. You know he's eventually just gonna run to Derek and join up with him and his little wolf pack. If you don't realize that, then you gotta be the stupidest bitch in this town. Well, other than Scott since he's a pretty stupid bitch himself. Stop it. Just stop! What are you gonna do, Allison? When your stupid bitch of a boyfriend turns on you? They killed your aunt. They almost killed Lydia. Who do you really think is gonna be next? Not you. No, no, it can't be you, because you're in love. Is that what you tell yourself? "Scott's different and everything's gonna work out because we're in love." Well, if that's what you believe, then you're already dead. I just... I just hope your dad has been teaching you moves to protect yourself. Actually, he has. Allison? What are you doing here? I'm fine. I'm fine. Scott... Scott, I'm fine. Scott, I'm fine! Scott! I have a restraining order! Trust me, I restrained myself. (FAST-PACED music playing) (GRUNTS) You can't tell Derek, okay? There's a lot more to this that you don't know about. And just because you got the Alpha bite makeover doesn't give you a license to go around destroying people. Why not? That's all anybody ever used to do to me. I used to have the worst crush in the world on you. Yeah, you, Stiles. And you never once even noticed me. Exactly how you're not noticing me right now. Guys! adrian: What the hell's going on? Hey! Enough! Enough. What do you idiots think you're doing? Jackson! Calm down! Mr. McCall, you wanna explain yourself? Stilinski! You dropped this. You and you... Actually, all of you... Detention. 3:00. Hi, there. Oh, I'll make an announcement, have Scott brought to the office. Actually, I came here to talk to you. Me? -Busy after school? -Always. Well, unbusy yourself. I wanna talk to you. Actually, I want to show you something. I thought we'd gotten past the slightly rapey language. And bring your flower. We can't be in detention together. I have a restraining order against these tools. All of these tools? No, just us tools. Fine. You two, over there. -I'm gonna kill him. -No, you're not. You're going to find out who's controlling him and then you're gonna help save him. No. You were right, let's kill him. Oh, no. "Kanima." I was under the impression they were no longer dating. Me too, but it looks like they are. And more. A lot more. How do you know it's not some other impressionable young girl with severely low standards? Because I know Scott. And Allison is the only one that he's ever talked about like that. I just wanna make sure they continue to be safe. I couldn't agree more. Hey. What if it's Matt? I mean, this whole thing comes back to the video, right? Danny said that Matt was the one who found the two hours of footage missing. Exactly! He's trying to throw suspicion off himself. So he makes Jackson kill Isaac's dad, one of Argent's hunters, and the mechanic working on your jeep? -Yes! -Why? Because... He's evil. -You just don't like him. -The guy bugs me. I don't know what it is. Just look at his face. Any other theories? You okay? -I have to go to the bathroom. -adrian: Are you all right? -Hey, you don't look so good. -I just need to get some water. No one leaves their seats. Stiles says you know how Jackson's parents died. Maybe. Talk. It was a car accident. My dad was the insurance investigator, and every time he sees Jackson drive by in his Porsche, he makes some comment about the huge settlement he'll be getting when he's 18. So not only is Jackson rich now, but he's getting even richer at 18? Yep. There's something so deeply wrong with that. You know what? I could try to find the insurance report in my dad's inbox. He keeps everything. victoria ON PA: Scott McCall, please report to the principal's office. Jackson! I'm fine, just give me a minute. (gasping) (sighs) Perfect. STlLES: Look at the dates. erica: "Passengers arrived at the hospital DOA. "The estimated time of death 9:26 p.m., June 14, 1995." Jackson's birthday is June 15th. (LAUGHS) No, I'm sorry. Yes, I'm leaving. But none of you are. You may go when you're done with the re-shelving. Enjoy the rest of your evening. (pencil SHARPENER WHlRRlNG) The principal wanted to see me? No. I did. I'm concerned about the detention today. How Allison ended up in there with you and Mr. Stilinski. A sink was ripped off the wall. You're lucky I'm here to explain that to people somehow. You realize that? Yeah. I do now. Good. Are you having sex with my daughter? (WHlRRlNG) No. I'm not having sex with your daughter. I certainly hope not. Hello? It means he was born after his mom died by c-section. They had to pull him out of her dead body. You okay, dude? So was it an accident or not? The word all over the report is "inconclusive." Then his parents could have been murdered? If they were, then it falls in line with the Kanima myth. You know? It seeks out and kills murderers. But for Jackson? Or for the person controlling him? We have to talk to him. We have to tell him. He's not gonna... Erica! (YELLS) (ROARS) (electricity crackling) (gasping SHORT BREATHS) Hey, hey, hey, hey! I think she's having a seizure. He's alive. Hey, we need to get her to a hospital. Derek, only to Derek. -When we get her to the hospital... -To Derek. To Derek. Go. Hey, Scott! I'm staying here with you. He can't take her alone. Not like this. And Matt... I've got to call an ambulance for him, just go. -This doesn't feel right. -It's okay. No, it's not. No, it's not right. It doesn't... It doesn't mean anything. -But it feels like it does. -Scott, go. Go. Okay. (ERlCA gasping) Hello? Over here. Is this your house? It was. I'll tell you all about it. But first, did you bring the flower? I couldn't find it. That's okay. But since you don't have it, I'm gonna need that kiss. (ELECTRO BALLAD playing) (SHUDDERS) Is something wrong? (LYDlA SCREAMS) Pull her up. Is she dying? She might, I... Which is why this is gonna hurt. -(BONE breaking) -(screaming) You broke her arm! It'll trigger the healing process. I still gotta get the venom out. This is where it's really gonna hurt. Stiles... You make a good Batman. Oh, my God. You know who it is. Jackson. You just wanted Erica to confirm it, didn't you? I'm gonna help you stop him. As part of your pack. If you want me in, fine. But we'll do it on one condition. We're gonna catch him, not kill him. And? And we do it my way. (BABY cries) Thank you, Jenna. Thanks, you guys. I appreciate it. Please, you have to tell him. It's okay, the baby's fine. Not the baby. Okay. He killed Sean. -Honey, the police know. -They don't... They didn't see it. It wasn't human. Okay. All right. (DOOR OPENS) (panting) Please... No... (MUFFLED screaming) (sighs DEEPLY) I'm so sorry, Lydia. All of this must be terribly confusing. But at least you know that you're not actually crazy. Well, not completely. There's bound to be some residual effects, but you're a strong girl. Personally I think that you're gonna pull through with a minimal amount of post-traumatic stress. Or maybe a few years of profoundly disturbing nightmares. I had a plan, you know. It was a good plan. But if there's one thing that I've learned in life, it's to always have a backup. That would be you. Your immunity makes you a perfect plan B. You wouldn't turn from the bite. You wouldn't die. But you would be able to do one very important thing. Do you know what that is, Lydia? (distorted) Lydia! a project by @olivethewenno enjoy watching Is that you, Ines? I said... Don't play with fire! You'll get burned! It doesn't hurt? It won't hurt me? Oh God, my dear! Who did it? What happened? 50 hours in surgical room. That's crazy. Even for you. Do you think he will forgive me? He will. But I won't. Is it time to get him? For me? What do you mean? A week with you, in 10 years of our marriage! - Anais... - That's all I get. All happiness belongs to her. Don't speak anymore with Judith! Watch out David! Dr. Martel, do you hear me? - His name is... - David. David? If you can hear me, blink your eyes. Get it out! - Intracranial nerves? - There's no broken hematoma. Scanning? I want it in my office. No sweat. No tears. They still need eye drops, or they'll end like him. What are they doing? The guilty deserve punishment! They are OK. What do you mean? They are the ones who did it? Let me show you something. Are you crazy? These children don't know pain. That's why they're very dangerous to other children, but mainly to their own selves. Can we cure it? I'd never seen anything like this. They suffer from an unknown illness. Citizens, I have to tell you that... These children, they suffer from an unknown illness. Tragic events and strange facts happen for months and kill innocent people. This tragedy... shows ... the threat posed by crime. These children are dangerous to us. also to their own selves. We can't cure it. Therefore, I have to tell you... that we've decided for their sake, to lock them up indefinitely. Benigno! David! Stand up. Where's Anais? Let's go! Anais didn't make it. But we save a child. Your child. Don't move! Make them wear it. Tell them to wear the safety clothes. I can't eat slowly when I eat hot things. If you eat it, will you die? Eat it quietly! Son-in-law, it looks like your food is too hot for you. Would you like to drink some cool beer? Beer? Why not? Sure, sure. Would I die if I drink it? ! Dad, he has to drive later. Da Ran, I don't have a car since the accident. Yoon Jae, your body is still not well since the accident. I think I will sleep well with just one drink. Please pour it for me, Father-in-law. Dad, Dad, me too. What do you mean you 18 year old? ! You're under age! No! Kids are not allowed to do this! You can't! Who said you're not a teacher? Yeah, I'm a teacher so I can't watch students drink with my eyes open! You don't have to walk me home. I can go by myself. You don't have to walk me home. I can go by myself. You drank earlier. How can I just let someone who drank walk the streets? I only drank this much! Teacher Gil, are you that naive? It's not like that was the first alcohol I've tasted in my life. Anyway, I have no choice but to take responsibility. Because you're a student, Kang Kyung Joon. Also, I'm sorry that you have no choice but to pretend to be my fiancé. I want to thank you too. You don't have to apologize, since you found this for me. And if you're thankful, fill this up please. I have to pay more getting on the bus with this face. And my clothes! Do something about it! If I stretch a little, it seems like it's going to burst! My pants are always riding up like this! Yeah, I don't think we can leave his body like this. Let's go. To buy new clothes? ! No, Yoon Jae's home to get some clothes. Honey, Son-in-law seems different, doesn't he? He doesn't seem to mind his manners, and he doesn't think too well of us. He treats Da Ran with no care. Right? You felt that too, right? Yes! Even so, I like him even more! I think he's comfortable with our family now! Now, he seems to be our son-in-law so I'm really happy! Well, if it's because he's comfortable, it's a good thing. Got it. Come in faster. Yoon Jae lives alone too? His parents live overseas. Don't just touch his stuff! We have to hurry up and pack some clothes. Oh! I told you not to touch anything! Come here. This is where the clothes are. Pick out some outfits to wear. Ah, you surprised me! What should I do when you take off your clothes like that? It's something you see all the time, so why are you so surprised? Change your clothes quickly. It's something you always see. Why are you just sneeking a peek? Just look at it. I've never seen it. Why's she acting like that? At the hospital when I was half naked, she hugged me and was all like "Yoon Jae, I thought you were dead!" and stuff. That was because I didn't have a chance. I didn't even get to see it clearly. Oh my god! So you and Yoon Jae weren't even close enough to have seen each other and stuff, huh? The wedding is a month away and you still haven't done anything. Is that something a kid should be saying? Go get the other things you need. Teacher Gil. Do you want me to show you? This ahjussi's body is great. Take a look. This physique can't be achieved in one or two months. Look, there are even chocolate abs! Stop it! Ohh, that's strange. Why didn't this person show you his worked-out body? It was so well-made, I thought it was to show you. Yoon Jae is really energetic so he likes to work out. That's right! He needs to be really energetic and work on it at least 2 hours a day to get this body! If it's like that, then do you really have to set aside 2 hours a day just to exercise? Without a doubt. During that time, he could have met you. He claims to be busy at work but can find the time to exercise. It seems like he likes his abs better than you. He always said he was busy, but I guess he had time for exercise. So, whenever he said he was busy and out of time, was it all just an excuse? Did he just not want to meet me? What do you mean he didn't want to meet you? That day he was going to come meet you! He said he was meeting you to tell you something, too! Was he on his way to tell me that he loved me? What should I do if he wasn't? Gil Da Ran, I love you. He was probably going to say it like that to you. Alright then. Is that so? It would be so, right? If it's like that, I worried uselessly. Like a fool! Yeah, yeah. Like a fool. Let's pack up your clothes! This color suits Yoon Jae very well. This color is good too! This one matches well too. Here, go pack it up. I'll go get a bag. Does she like Seo Yoon Jae that much? Aish, what's this? Are these the keys for this house? No. Is it the contracted room for us after we get married? What should we do? Wait a moment, and go answer the phone naturally. What? Hello? Oh, Yoon Jae. - It's Se Young. - So you were home? - The doctor friend that you saw at the hospital. I was so worried because you didn't answer your phone. I heard you got into an accident. I only found out after I got out of the hospital. Why didn't you tell me earlier? Oh, I-I'm fine now. What happened? It seems weird. I'm going to your house right now with your stuff. I'm close by so I'll be there soon. Okay. She said she's coming here... Good. I was too busy to get Yoon Jae's things, but I guess she's doing it instead. What about Yoon Jae's hospital? Do I have to start working tomorrow? You can't do that. Say that because of the accident you need rest and get a break. Then what about the marriage? Do I have to do that too? ! Until then, he must come back. He must. Even if he doesn't, I'm not planning on doing that for him too. Do you want to clean while we're waiting for Se Young? Hah, I had to clean Yoon Jae's body. Do I have to clean his house too? No thanks. When you meet Se Young, have your manners and don't look at her with weird eyes. I'll stare at her with open eyes. Where is the vacuum? Oh, this is heavy. I guess it wasn't an empty bag. Looks like Yoon Jae packed his suitcase. Where was he planning to go? I didn't hear about anything... Where was he going to go leaving me here? Yoon Jae! Hello. You made me worried sick. You should have told me first if anything had happened to you. Hey, what are you trying to do? ! Yoon Jae, I love you. Yoon Jae! Seo Yoon Jae, that bastard. Preview He was two timing you! It was a double play with another woman! It doesn't seem like Yoon Jae. You made a mistake, right? When kids do something wrong, they just leave the house. What's that ahjussi doing? I will make sure that we'll get married someday. You are very pretty. Yoon Jae, you are really here, right? Subtitles by DramaFever Yoon Jae? Uh oh... Still? You... -Are you Gyung Joon? -Yes, Teacher Gil Da Ran. The hospital. Let's go back to the hospital. Since things went wrong at the hospital, this is a medical mistake. If we go to the hospital and talk to them, they'll switch you back. What are you going to say? Ah... This man is my fiance, but his body got switched with that guy. So take responsibility and switch them back. That's what you're going to say? Fine. I'm sure I'll be told that I'm crazy, but they'll find a way to fix it. That's right. We're going to be told we're crazy, and all 3 of us will get locked up. You, me and my body that's in the hospital are going to keep staying at the hospital. If you're going to go, go by yourself. I don't like hospitals. Just because you don't like it, you think avoiding it is the best? -Don't act like a kid! -I'm still a kid! -I'm 18 years old! -That's right. And a kid needs to listen to the adult. -Let's go, Kang Gyung Joon. -Don't treat me like a kid. This face isn't a kid's face. Are you trying to joke with me right now? And you shouldn't act like a frustrating adult and try to push me! Why can't you think to calmly listen about what happened from the one affected? Fine. Talk. I... And Seo Yoon Jae were in an accident. The moment that we were to die, our souls escaped the body. Just then... Seo Yoon Jae's spirit thought his body to be dead and selfishly rushed into my body. Yoon Jae...is not the kind of person to selfishly take someone else's body. Whatever. Without any choice, my spirit went into Seo Yoon Jae's body. This all happened because Seo Yoon Jae went into the wrong body. Yoon Jae is a person of discretion. He's not someone to make mistakes about his place like that. Whatever. Whatever! This one has to leave... There will be some sort of a solution whether it be just another switch-a-roo. Yoon Jae... How did this happen? Why did you go to a place like that? What? A place like that? I don't like..places like this either! Yoon Jae doesn't drink carbonated drinks, so can you drink something else? What? This isn't your body, but Yoon Jae's body. Until things go back to normal, I hope that you treat it preciously. Preciously? How? Just like Yoon Jae's always done, when you're thirsty, drink water instead of carbonated beverages. Also the weather is chilly and this is thin. Don't you have anything thicker and warmer? You weren't even examined thoroughly earlier... Oh my... Oh my, you're scraped here. What do we do? Wait a second. Well... While you're checking out my body, I wish my spirit would temporarily escape, but I can't, so what to do? If you keep this up, I think my spirit is going to go crazy. Kang Gyung Joon. Please take good care of Yoon Jae's body. To me... He's a very, very precious person. Then... I'll go to the hospital and check to see if your body is doing well. Give me your phone. Phone? -Who? -My uncle. Call him and ask how the situation is over there. Hello? Ah yes, hello. Is this Gyung Joon's uncle? Yes, I see the news has already reached the school. Gyung Joon has been moved to the Seoul Hankuk hospital. Yes... Then when Gyung Joon wakes up, please call me no matter what time it is. Yes, yes... Your uncle said he's been moved to a hospital in Seoul. I heard it all. This guy's hearing is really sharp. But anyways... Do you live here by yourself? If your uncle and aunt come, you can't be here in this state! I live by myself. They have no reason to come here. You can go. You...think you'll be okay by yourself? You were in a big accident today... And your situation isn't normal either. I'm sure you've been really shocked... You really think you'll be okay to stay by yourself? You seem to want to stay here by pretending to care for me... But forget it. Leave. I'll make sure to get lots of sleep for you. All he has is frozen food and carbonated drinks. I wonder if he only eats food like this? His build is really large. Too big! I don't have to go to school. Yes...! Oops. I see she brought everything over for her precious body. 'Please treat it preciously'. I won't eat it! You're in there, right? Right? Are you really cold? Your hand is very warm! It must be because I was holding the coffee with that hand. They say the temperature of the hand is the same as the temperature of the heart. I think your hand is this warm because your heart is so warm! I bet you're the only one who has hands this warm. So warm. The person who has hands this warm in this world... There was just one person. And here they are. Da Ran just came home. I see that she's stayed out all night. I'm sure she was with Yoon Jae, right? ! Is your daughter staying out all night something to be smiling about? They're going to get married in a month, so who cares? With Yoon Jae always sending Da Ran home on time, I was worried something was wrong with Yoon Jae. But I guess not... Shall we invite Yoon Jae over today and make him some grilled eel? Don't make things so obvious like that and embarrass those kids. You're right... Things like that... You do for them without making it obvious. How can you feed him eel without making it obvious? If you put the eel in the stuffing and give it to him in a dumpling form, don't you think that'll work? Eel dumplings? ! (Eels are good for a man's virility) Should I grow out a beard? It's not even my body. Why am I itchy? Does this guy have dry skin? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Da Ran! That person... Looks like Yoon Jae! Wait! Wait! Gil Da Ran! Yoon Jae! Gil Da Ran! Give me some money! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry, hurry, hurry! Go...! Don't come! I... I think I'm going to go crazy! -My body is on fire... -What did you say? Do something! Look at me! My body is burning up! -Are you crazy? What are you doing taking... -Come over here and look at it! Who is that person? He's Da Ran's fiance. Why is Yoon Jae like that? -Why are you acting like this? -I'm itchy...and hot! I'm going crazy! -Oh my... Why ? Why? -Something is wrong with this guy! Is this guy sick or something? Look at this. My legs too... Legs too! -Stand still! Stand still! -My butt too! What do we do? ! -What's going on? -I don't know, I don't know! Oh please! Oh mother, father! Oh please...! Oh Jesus! Oh yes, right there! Oh please, please! Jesus! To commit such dirty deeds in such a divine school like this... It's because of an allergy to mushrooms, if you take the medication and put on some ointment, you'll be better soon. I should have checked the body sooner. Is our school nurse's office a welfare office? Or a hospital? So unbelievable... Is he an idiot or something...? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'm sorry. The money that was in the house was spent paying for the taxi last night... But with my whole strange body thing, I couldn't go to the hospital. I came because I was worried something may happen to precious Yoon Jae's body... But... Did you get into a lot of trouble? -Are you okay now? -Yeah. This guy must be really healthy! I mean the medicine worked like a charm on his body! Make sure to eat something when you get home. And take your medicine too. Ah! If only I had my wallet, I wouldn't have inconvenienced you like this! Once I get my wallet back, I'll pay you back. Teacher Gil... Did you get scolded a lot? It's because I'm so upset! You have no idea how dashing and what a gentleman my Yoon Jae is! You made people say that he's an idiot... It's because I'm sorry and upset for Yoon Jae! Go home and stay there quietly. Don't go around again and cause more trouble. If you need something... I'll get it for you. You'll get it? Forget it! Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it. Go home. Don't go anywhere else, okay? Does she know how nice these clothes are? Anything I wear is a total killer. I only look like an idiot because I'm wearing it in this body. Well... When I get my wallet back, I'll dress him like this. Yoon Jae... It would be nice if I could see you before I left. Your call cannot be connected... Um... Can I found out what room Patient Kang Gyung Joon is in? Room 560. Okay. Hey. Doctor Seo's really different today. I'm sorry, but may I ask you something? What floor is the pediatrics on? Yoon Jae? Yoon Jae...! Yoon Jae... Yoon Jae... Yes, father? I went to the hospital to see Yoon Jae... But he looked really busy. What? Yoon Jae's at the hospital right now? Well...um... I'll leave the dumplings with the front concierge desk. So make sure to tell him... To pick it up and eat it. He totally dissed me. Gyung Joon doesn't know that's the hospital Yoon Jae works at... I'm going to go crazy... -Assistant principle... I'm actually... -What? What is it? -It's nothing. -Teacher Gil Da Ran! Put down those files right now. Excuse me? Those files... I was looking at them. Put them down right now. Those files... You were looking at them, Teacher Na? Yes, Assistant Principal. I don't like Teacher Gil Da Ran touching my files. I'll look through them and move them myself! Well since... Teacher Na doesn't like Teacher Gil touching them... Just leave them and go. Da Ran! Da Ran! Da Ran! Why is she being like that? She seems to be having trouble with Yoon Jae... It's your doctor, say hello Jae Young. -Hello! -Hello, doctor. Hello... Hello, doctor! Hello, doctor. Have you eaten? Why is everyone being like this? I'm sure they have the wrong person... Oh, Jesus! Seo Yoon Jae? Oh my gosh! I almost lost it back there. Ah! Seriously, again? ! Jesus! Seo Yoon Jae, this guy... He seems like a star around here... Like this...? Like this? Is this how he does it? This is not being a halfwit, but a total wit! Oh! Yoon Jae! Seo Yoon Jae... What's with you? To skip work like this? I couldn't reach you on the phone either all day. Are you just getting in? Are you sick? -Ugh...something... I'll come back... -What's wrong with you? Are you... Really sick? You really do look sick. Mushrooms... I accidentally had mushrooms. Mushrooms? How? I bet you suffered some! That's why... I'm suffering a lot right now. I'm going to get some rest. Yoon Jae. You still have... what I gave you awhile ago, right? Huh? Oh... That? I gave it to you to use it at times like this. Since we're close... Don't feel burdened, and do as I say, okay? Why is that lady rubbing on someone else's body? Yoon Jae! Da Ran... You came? Hello. I came to see Yoon Jae. What are you thinking coming here by yourself without saying anything? ! I had no idea that he was a doctor! And I came to see my body! Your body? What, you don't think I'd be curious to see if my body's doing okay? And there's a precious personal item that I have to find too! Then... Follow me this way. Hurry up and put this on. But, Teacher Gil... There's a girl doctor among his friends, right? She's a little strange. There's something weird about her touch. Kang Gyung Joon. You made my Yoon Jae be called an idiot... Now you're even trying to get him to be called sneaky? Sneaky? ! Boys your age... I understand that when a girl even lays a finger on you, you think it's a turn-on. Since I'm a high school teacher. But if you look at Yoon Jae's friend in that way with Yoon Jae's eyes, what do you think she'll think of my Yoon Jae? There's your disillusion growing again! You know very well boys my age are more likely to act out the more you act like that, right teacher? Idiotic, sneaky and now incapable... If you don't want to add being poor to that, don't provoke me! I'm very sensitive. In Yoon Jae's hospital, wearing Yoon Jae's clothes, and laying down on Yoon Jae's bed... You really seem like Yoon Jae. -Well... Ummm. -Don't say anything. Give me your hand. I knew it, it's not warm. Your temperature is different. Since you're not Yoon Jae... You're not as warm as Yoon Jae. That's a relief. Since I want to be cool. Let's go now. I... I... I... grabbed his hand! What? In the water... I thought I was going to die... But Seo Yoon Jae reached out his hand towards me. If I were to live... I thought I should go towards him... So I grabbed onto his hand. I wonder... If that's why I came in this body? If the switch happened because you and Yoon Jae grabbed hands... Do you think if you held hands again, you two will switch back? What if he doesn't wake up? I'm sure he'll wake up! Hurry up and grab it. Da Ran... It's me. Yoon Jae... I... I was so very, very worried! I felt like this all happened because I got angry and threw a fit... I was so very worried because I thought it was all my fault! Because I... Because I needlessly said those words... I'm sorry. I'm sorry too. The words I was going to say to you... I'll say them now. Ppuing-ppuing. I'm sorry, ppuing-ppuing! He's not coming back. I'm saying, he didn't come back. I'm Kang Gyung Joon! Your face looks very disappointed. Hello? Teacher Gil. Get your senses back. Where are we right now? Does this... All seem like a child's joke to you right now? Is it fun? Why is an adult crying at a child's joke? Being fooled by a kid like you... I'm the one at fault. Is it my fault that we didn't switch back? Why is she getting mad at me? Where are my belongings? Oh, doctor! Doctor. Good to see you. How is our Gyung Joon? Ah yes... I see... That he hasn't regained his consciousness yet. They say his body is all fine, so why isn't he waking up? You don't think he's going to stay in that state like that, right? They say there's nothing wrong... So I'm sure he'll wake up. They say that people can stay in a state like that for several years. Then what do we do about him? Do we have to keep on taking care of him? Doctor... That won't happen, right? If by any chance, that happens, what are you going to do? Doctor. We don't have the relationship where we have to take responsibility for him. We're just relatives who have been left in charge for the time being. The hospital shouldn't be asking us what should be done with him in the future. -Honey! -What? Doctor... Then, goodbye. Ugh, this boy... Isn't there somewhere in America where we can send him off to just in case? Who would take care of him? Since he grew up there, there has to be someone he was close to! It's because there was no such person that he came to Korea! What should we do with his belongings? -Gyung Joon... -Don't follow me. -Gyung Joon...! -Leave me alone! -Gyung Joon... -Why? Are you scared that your precious Yoon Jae is going to be seen as a ruthless jerk? Are you going to cry again? Then before I do more, leave me alone and go. I'm sure you're upset after hearing those words, so how can I go and leave you alone? Don't pretend that you're worried. You're just like my uncle! You're worried that I'll always stay in this precious Yoon Jae's body, right? Just like my uncle, you don't like me and are burdened by me, so why are you pretending to worry? Gyung Joon... I told you the more things are like this, the more I'll do things my way. Da Ran! Yoon Jae... Did you just shove my sister? Why are you yelling at my sister? Choong Sik... It isn't something for you to get involved in. Just go. He was being weird to you this morning at school. I came to see what was going on... And it's a good thing that I came. Yoon Jae... I really didn't take you to be like this. But you're weird... Yoon Jae! (Mae-Hyung = Brother-in-law) I'm not your brother-in-law! If it's your husband... Wouldn't that make him my brother-in-law? Is the term cheojae? (cheojae = sister-in-law) Stupid. Stupid? ! 'Sister-in-law'... Did you just insult me? Choong Sik, Choong Sik... Don't do it. Don't do it. Stay out of it! Sister-in-law... Sister-in-law! Stupid! Don't get involved. Don't get involved and go home. But Yoon Jae...! He's being careless with you! Brother-in-law is right, you stupid. And if you get involved, it'll make things more complicated. So just hurry up and go home. Just listen to me and go home. When you get thirsty, drink water instead of the carbonated drinks. Ah! That burns! For the time being, since there's mom inheritance... they won't throw you away. Don't worry. How did the things that got thrown out end up here? It's dumplings. Gil-Ga Dumplings? (Roadside Dumplings) Gil-Ga... Gil? Gil Da Ran? Da Ran... Did your wedding get called off? He said with his own lips that he wasn't my brother-in-law! Is that why he's not answering my phone calls? That's because... Yoon Jae has a situation right now. He even insulted me! Stupid! He pretended he didn't know me. He totally dissed dad! -That wasn't Yoon Jae who did that...! -Then... Then who is the person I saw earlier? And who's the one that acted like he didn't know me? That was Yoon Jae. It's over, it's over. It's over. Oh my! It's our son-in-law, Yoon Jae! Did you eat the dumplings? Do you know what was inside those? Huh? Try to guess. -Meat? -No... -Shrimp? -No! Here, watch. It wriggles around, and when you catch it, it escapes. Ugh, it's hard to catch! And very wriggly like this. -It's very long... (Gil-da-ran) -Long? That's right! Just like my daughter's name, it's long! (Gil-da-ran! ) Long...? Eel. That's right! How did you know that? ! Let's go in! Honey! Honey, honey! Yoon Jae found out what was in those dumplings! Uh oh. Mom... This lady is Gil Da Ran's mom? Then she's Seo Yoon Jae's mother-in-law. That man is this lady's husband... Seo Yoon Jae's father-in-law? He's Gil Da Ran's little brother. Seo Yoon Jae's brother-in-law! Hello... Father-in-law. You're here, Yoon Jae. -Hi, Choong Sik. -You're here, Yoon Jae? Hello, mother-in-law. It really has been a long time, Yoon Jae! Yoon Jae... You came...? Surprise! Why did you come here? ! What were you thinking coming here? ! I came here to see you and some lady just suddenly appeared! 'Guess what was inside the dumplings? ' 'Wriggly, wriggle... Ah! You guessed it! ' She said that and just dragged me inside. I'm about to go crazy! You're lucky that I was able to figure out the situation so quickly. What would you have done if I said, 'Lady, who are you? ' Since I was good enough to greet them all, you take care of the rest on your own. Bye. Where do you think you're going? ! If you started out as Yoon Jae, you have to finish it out as Yoon Jae before you leave. Okay? What? Seeing how he came all the way here... I guess the wedding isn't off. He said he was like that because he's been unwell since being in a car accident. We misunderstood over nothing when he was sick from the accident. Talk it over with Yoon Jae over a spicy dumpling stew and a drink, then let it go. Choong Sik... Go to the shop and bring back some beer. Beer! Why is he the one happy about it? Bring back some soju too. You take care of it on your own, I don't want to get involved. Then shall I tell them everything? That there's someone else inside the body? If you do, I bet you'll get dragged to the hospital right away. If you don't want to get caught, then cooperate. I'm sure we'll get caught. I'm sure it'll show as more time passes. If it starts to get obvious, then you have to try to hide it! Hide what? Uh oh... See? It's already starting. What are the 2 of you hiding? Kids don't have to know. Don't get involved in an adult's conversation. Let's go, Yoon Jae. You, kid don't have to know! She said a kid doesn't have to know. Come have a seat over here. -Da Ra! Da Ran! -Yes, mom. Be good. What? If it's uncomfortable... Do you want me to get you a pair of socks? That's okay. This is comfortable. I heard that you were in an accident... How are you feeling...? As you can see... So you're okay... I'm good. I'm a little itchy. This body has allergies. So... You have a lot of rocks in the house. Oh... It's a hobby of mine. So people collect rocks too... That's something. Ouch! You shouldn't be touching those... These rocks represent my family The large black one...is me. The pretty white one is my wife. The nice smooth one is Da Ran! And this tiny little one...is Choong Sik! It's a rock family, a rock family! Dad rock... Mom rock... Child Rock! (The way it's pronounced, it sounds like Idol) Yeah... Well, since you're a part of our family too now.... Let's find your own rock that we can put next to Da Ran together. No thanks! Why would I want that? Shall we look for one? A son-in-law rock? -This is the spot, you say? -That's right! This is your spot. So what's the standard for finding the rock? Standards? The standards are a little...confusing. For example, if the standards for finding the rock is the size, then in that case, since Choong Sik is the biggest in this family, this would be Choong Sik. Then your wife would be next... Gil Da Ran... And you. Then...if the beauty is the standard for finding the rock... Then...since this is the prettiest... your wife. Then next would be Choong Sik, Gil Da Ran... And you. See? The standards for finding one is confusing. Father-in-law... So... With me being the ugliest and the smallest in the family, you have a problem with me being the biggest, and the prettiest rock. No, no, no, no! It's just that I was curious about what kind of a rock would represent me as a person. The standards for finding your rock... Is about harmony. Fitting in harmoniously with the other rocks that are sitting up here. Harmony! We just need to find that. Whether you want to find one or not... You do whatever you want. Whenever adults don't want to bother explaining something, they always make things confusing and just fumble over it. Harmony? What's that? It's not like this is my spot, this is Seo Yoon Jae's spot. I'm sure that perfect Seo Yoon Jae will take care of it. Eat slowly. It's hot and spicy. I can't eat this. Are you going to die if you eat it? Keep it down and be quiet! Yoon Jae... The food must be spicy for you, so how about a nice refreshing beer? Huh? Alcohol? Why not? Sure, sure. I'm not going to die if I drink it. Father... Yoon Jae has to drive. Da Ran... I don't have a car because it was in the accident. Yoon Jae... You're not even well after the accident, so you shouldn't be drinking. I think if I have one drink, it'll help me fall asleep easily. -Please give it to me, father-in-law. -Dad, dad...! Me too. Alcohol for an 18 year old minor? No way! A kid can't drink! You can't...! No one's going to deny that you're a teacher... That's right. Since I'm a teacher, I can't watch a student drink alcohol. You don't have to take me back... I can go home by myself. You had beer earlier... How can I neglect a kid that's been drinking? I've only had this much alcohol! Teacher Gil... Are you naive? Do you think that was the first time I've had alcohol in my life? Anyways, I have no choice but to feel responsible. Since you're my student, Kang Gyung Joon. And... I'm sorry... For making you pretend to be my fiance. And... Thanks. There's nothing to be sorry about. Since you found this for me. And if you're grateful... Fill this up for me. This face costs more when I take the bus. And do something about the clothes too! I feel like it's going to rip if I flex too hard. And this back here keeps eating my pants! You're right... We can't leave my Yoon Jae like this. -Let's go. -To buy clothes? No. To Yoon Jae's house to get clothes. Honey... Doesn't Yoon Jae seem like he's changed a little? He doesn't seem to mind his manners... And he also doesn't seem uncomfortable around us... And he's very blunt with Da Ran too... Right? -You felt that too, right? -Yes! That's why I was so happy! He must finally feel comfortable with our family! Now it really feels like, he's become our son-in-law, so I'm so very happy! Well... If it's because he's become comfortable.... It's a relief then. It worked. Hurry, hurry. Hurry up and come in. Does our Yoon Jae live by himself too? His parents are overseas. Don't carelessly touch random stuff! Let's quickly pack up what we need. I told you not to touch things! Come here. The clothes are in here. Pack up a few things to wear from here. Oh my goodness! You scared me! How can you...be undressed like that! Why are you surprised when it's something that you probably see all the time? Hurry up and get dressed. Why steal glances when you see it all the time? Here, just look. I haven't seen it! What's wrong with you? When I was completely naked in the hospital, you ran over and hugged me. 'Yoon Jae, I thought you were dead! ' This is what you did. That's because... I was shocked. I didn't even really get to see anything. Oh my God! So... you and this guy... haven't seen each other yet? How can you be like that when you guys are getting married in a month? Is that... something a kid should be saying right now? Just go and pack up some more stuff. Teacher Gil... You want me to show you? My body is really rocking right now. Look. This... Isn't a body you can get in a month or two. -Look. This guy's abs are like chocolate! -Don't do it! It's nice. I wonder why this guy hasn't shown you his body that he's worked on? I thought since he took such good care of it, I thought it was to look good for you... Yoon Jae... Likes to work out because he likes to keep himself busy. That's right. I'm sure at the very least, he was diligent about working out every day for at least 2 hours. To be in that shape, do you really have to work out every day for at least 2 hours? Unconditionally. He should've seen you more during those hours. He must have given you excuses to take those hours to work out. I guess to this guy... You're not as important as this body. When he said he was busy everyday... I guess he had time to exercise. Then...when he said he was too busy, and didn't have the time, I wonder if it was all an excuse? I wonder if he just didn't want to see me? What do you mean, he didn't want to see you? Even on that day... He was on his way to see you. That's right! You said he even had something to tell you when he saw you! The thing he was going to tell me when he saw me... You think it was to tell me that he loved me? What if it's not? Gil Da Ran... I love you. Like this! I'm sure he was going to say this to you. Yeah... I'm sure you're right. I'm sure that's it, right? That's it... And here I am on my own... How stupid I am. Yeah, yeah... That's stupid. Let's pack up some clothes. This color looks really good on Yoon Jae. This color looks really good too! Wow... This color suits really well too... Here. Pack up the clothes. I'll go get a bag. Does she like Seo Yoon Jae that much? What's with these clothes? Is this a key to this house? No, it's not. I wonder if it's a key to our newlywed home that we've signed off on? What do we do? Just be natural and answer the call real quick. What? -Hello? -Hey, Yoon Jae. It's Se Young. The doctor friend that you saw. Do you know how worried I've been because I couldn't get a hold of you? I heard you've been in an accident? I found out when the hospital received your belongings. Why didn't you tell me earlier? Uh... I'm fine now. I thought so... You were being weird earlier. I'm coming over right now with your stuff. I'm close by, so I'll be there soon. Okay... She says she's coming here. That's good. I didn't think to get Yoon Jae's belonging because I was too out of sorts. I guess she's bringing it back for you. What do we do about Yoon Jae's job at the hospital tomorrow? Do I have to go to work? You can't do that. Let's get some vacation time telling them you need to rest since the accident. That's that, but what about the wedding? Do I have to do that too? ! I'm sure he'll be back by then! He will! Even if not, I have no intention of doing that. Should we do a little cleaning while we wait for Se Young? I've washed Yoon Jae's body for him, now I have to do that to his house too? Forget it. When you see Se Young, greet her with manners. Don't stare at her with lusty eyes. I'll look at her with innocent eyes. Where is the vacuum... Here it is... It's heavy. I guess the bag isn't empty. Yoon Jae's packed his suitcase...? I wonder where he was planning on going? He's never mentioned anything... Where was Yoon Jae planning on going without me? Yoon Jae...! Hi. I've been so worried! If something like that happened, I should've been the first to know! Hey! What are you doing? ! Yoon Jae... I love you. Yoon Jae...! Seo Yoon Jae, you son of a bitch... Subtitles by DramaFever He made you a fool and he was two timing you with another woman! He doesn't seem like Yoon Jae... You did something, right? When kids cause trouble and they can't take care of it, -...they run away. -I have to find some evidence. -Who is that man? -Gyung Joon... Just someone I know. I'm...going to make sure to marry you. You...are very pretty. Yoon Jae... Are you here? (funky disco plays) ♪ My name is Cleveland Brown ♪ ♪ And I am proud to be ♪ ♪ Right back in my hometown ♪ ♪ With my new family ♪ ♪ There's old friends and new friends ♪ ♪ And even a bear ♪ ♪ Through good times and bad times ♪ ♪ It's true love we share ♪ ♪ And so I found a place ♪ ♪ Where everyone will know ♪ ♪ My happy mustached face ♪ ♪ This is The Cleveland Show. ♪ == sync, corrected by elderman == (chuckles) The Cleveland Show 3x13 Das Shrimp Boot Original Air Date on March 11, 2012 Hey, beloved family, who I called five minutes ago asking you to wait, but now you're eating. No matter, for I am happy because I got these. Our tickets for the Commodores Gold Record and All-You-Can-Eat Jumbo Shrimps Cruise! All you can eat? Dyn-o-mite! That's right, I'm gonna dine with all my might. RALLO: Ha! What up, black people? These threads ain't about the cruise. I'm filling in for the Sandman at The Apollo. But the Commodores, those cats are outta sight! You dig? Is everyone in this family stuck in the '70s? Can any of you name a single current rapper? What's a rapper? Oh, Cleveland, you are stuck in the '70s. They're the guys who wear the gold chains and go, "Wibbity-bop, flibbity-blop." Oh-ho, Donna, that is fresh. Let's have some more of that! ♪ Hootie-hop, hootie-hoo! ♪ ♪ And a wop-a-doodle-doo! ♪ ♪ Scratch, scratch, scratch. ♪ ♪ Don't give me no jive. ♪ ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ ♪ Who bad? ♪ ♪ I'm bad. ♪ ♪ Her bad, mmm. ♪ ♪ I'm bad. ♪ Well, if we're going on a '70s cruise, I'm gonna go get un-waxed. Oh, Cleveland, this cruise is gonna be fun. But are you sure you can take the week off from work? Of course I can. Everybody gets off for spring break. Flip to... Adults don't get spring break. Besides, you've already taken 132 vacation days since you started here. I did? What about sick days? None left. Bereavement? If it's your immediate family. Do you know how many children I have? No. The quintuplets have died. How? God told me to drown them. Get out of my office. (groans) Hey, I won! Oh, $5,000? That's not enough to quit my job. Stupid, dumb lottery! (starts engine) (tires squealing) I wish I worked for Cox Cable. With their long Cox vacations, huge Cox vans, their delicious, barely-fit-your-mouth-around-it Cox muffins... Hey! No one loves Cox more than I do, but talking about it isn't gonna get you off. Oh, if only there were enough weekends between now and the cruise, I could make up the hours ahead of time. Wait a minute, you could just work 40 hours straight. There's no rule says when you have to get your work done. Like, just keep working around the clock? Terry, that idea is-- what do the gays say for "good?" Delicious? ! No. We say "good." Hmm. I like "delicious." CLEVELAND (high-pitched): Bye...! Funny, a black couple, but a Chinese-smelling house. Must be in the walls. 14 hours down, 26 to go. ♪ ♪ ♪ I've been hooking up some cable ♪ ♪ All the live-long... ♪ ♪ ...day! ♪ Hmm. Maybe there's something on the radio that will keep me awake. MALE DEEJAY: Welcome to The Quiet Storm. Sit back, relax, close your eyes, and let us drive for you. Mmm. That sounds nice. Look out for that truck. Ah! Truck! (truck's horn blows) Maybe something a little more upbeat. MAN: Let's talk sports. There you go! Women's sports! More specifically, women's collegiate hurdles. Let's break in on the action. (running steps, kicking hurdles, panting, grunting) No. MALE DEEJAY 2: We count down your 1,000 favorite numbers. At number 1,000: 1,000! Number 999: 26. MALE DEEJAY 3: Now here's Norah Jones. Uh-uh! FEMALE HOST (sensually): You're listening to Sexy Talk with two aging porn stars. Let's take a call. We've got Holt on line one. HOLT: Yeah, am I on? I'm six-five. I'm really good at sex. FEMALE HOST: Ooh. You sound like my uncle. What's your question? HOLT: Can you say, "Holt, you're really good"? FEMALE HOST: Holt, you're really good. HOLT: Boom! Ringtone. NEWSMAN: We have breaking news where a farmer apparently lost all his sheep. We're live on the scene talking to a witness. Tell us what you saw, sir. MAN: Well, I saw one sheep jump over the fence. And then two sheep. Three sheep. Four sheep. Five sheep. Six sheep. (horn honking) FEMALE HOST 2: We have Gwyneth Paltrow talking down to us about acting and parenting. I can do this. All I need's another cap of coffee. I don't know why people say staying up all night messes with your mind. What do you think Donnie Darko rabbit? (goofy voice): I don't know. That's how you talk? ! Yes...! You're creative. Sir? Sir? ! Wha...? Oh, sorry. Give me your driest frankfurter on there. (loud slapping) Thank you. Hey, pimples, what's the skinny on those Mega Energy Pills? They're,like, you know, caffeine or something. Truckers take them so they can stay up all night. Truckers are so cool! Breaker, breaker one-nine. I got a Smokey on my tail, ten-four? Hey-hey, that's pretty good. I don't have time for your nonsense! Let me try one of those. (gulp) MAN (distorted): I'm disappointed in you, C-Cup. MAN 2: Thanks for keeping it warm for me, doughboy. MAN 3: Mr. and Mrs. Cleveland Brown! CLEVELAND: No, no, no, no, no, no! (echoing boom) Wow! I'll take an ass-load of those pills, please. Donna, I need a change of clothes and then... Robert? What are you doing here? Eating turkey bacon. You've been gone for two days, and these children need a father. I've been working for two days! Feels like two hours with these pills. I'm talking 'bout installing some cable! Everybody watching' now! (gulps, giggles) All right, then. Hey, Junior, it was fun speaking to your class. Thanks for teaching us how to light a cigarette on the stove top. Yeah. And when you're 15, I'll teach you how to roll your own. Wink, wink. Cleveland, you've worked enough to go on the cruise. (goofy grunting) Now it's time to put those pills away and get some rest. Nuh-uh! There's still days before this cruise. I can keep working and have weeks, maybe even months off! Months! Do you know how long a month is? I'm asking you a question, Donna! Ah, forget it! The pills will tell me. (crazy laughter) That man's a mess. Howdy, howdy, howdy, howdy, howdy, howdy, howdy! Let's see. Hmm. How many Mega Energy Pills can I get for... this? (grunts) This says: "Happy birthday, Rallo, from Grandma." (grunts) And this is a Post-it note that says: "One hundred dollars." Is it hot? It's hot in here. Are you hot? I'm hot. Guy back there taking a long time with them pills, huh? ! Sorry, sir. I've been instructed not to sell you any more. What? ! You're demonstrating addictive behavior. You seem like a nice person; I hope you get help. No! You go to hell, zit-face! (sobbing) (stops sobbing, clears throat) Hey, you guys want to make a quick buck? Uh, is it gay stuff? Do you need it to be? No. Good. I didn't want to have to make that decision. Here, take this money and buy me... CLERK: Sir, if you don't go away, I'll have to call the police. (grunting) (window crackles) Good-bye, Debbie. I guess we'll never get to have ugly children together. (grunts) (maniacal laughter) You checking me out? Well, too late. You can't have none of this! And I would've done anything. Anything! (maniacal laughter) Oh, thank goodness. I had the strangest dream. I dreamt I was addicted to energy pills. Hmm. I seem to have been accidentally tied to the bed. We had to protect you from yourself. Your dream was real. Was it? Hey, give me my pills out of my jacket. You're not having any pills. You're an addict! Donna, I'm not an addict. Now, if you wouldn't mind reaching into my anus and fetching me my private reserve. Ain't happening, Brown. We're having an intervention. Yeah? You and what army of family and nosy neighbors? LESTER: Us. Oh. What's up, Arianna? (whispers): Would you reach into my anus for me? I'm sorry it's come to this. You're going to rehab. ♪ I say no, no, no. ♪ Winehouse. Dead. Sad. Didn't see it coming. Did. Cleveland, we want you better. And we'll be here for you when you get out of rehab. B-But I won't know anyone there. You know what? I think it'd be a good idea if Tim dried out a bit. (slurping, belches) And Lester, too. He's an alcoholic. I'm just addicted to seeing you pretty. (hiccups) Oh, Lester! I'd better go, too. I'm a sex addict. Carpal tunnel. (crying) Oh, this is so embarrassing. We're all wearing the same smocks! We don't belong here. I mean, look at all these weirdoes. I sold my penis for meth. I got drunk and had sex with my boss's car. I huff propane. And the worst part is, I only took those pills so I could go on that Commodores Gold Record and All-You-Can-Eat Jumbo Shrimps Cruise. And now I can't go. Just don't think about it, C-bro. Kind of tough not to think about it. Hey, what're you guys looking at? No, Shrimpy Dave, don't look! Is that shrimp? I'm off the wagon! Ew. I thought he'd be eating it. Lord, help Shrimpy Dave. (slaps) Ow! Ha-ha! Boom! You suck! Yeah, this is better than a cruise. I know you're disappointed, but we should be here in case Cleveland needs us. Even though our bags are already packed and our non-refundable tickets are right there. And that taxi's waiting outside. (honking) 'Ey! You vashlooks order a cab? Well, we could just take a ride in the cab with our bags, see where it goes. We at least owe it to our bags to put them in the cab. Screw it, let's go. I guess everything I do is for him, just to hear him say, "I'm proud of you." Your father? No, Bradley Cooper. Well, we've made some progress. You guys are out of your minds. I'm going to take a shower. Anybody want to take a shower? All right. I do. This is ridiculous. I don't belong here. (ship's horn blares) I belong on that cruise! We're getting out of here. And here's how... CLEVELAND: The orderlies' shift change is at 12:32 exactly. Tim, that's when you'll hack into the mainframe, disabling the security cameras. (cracks knuckles) (roars) That will allow me to climb up into the air ducts. (whistles) Holt, this is where you come in. You're gonna create a diversion. Can I do Church Lady? Don't care. I'm gonna do Church Lady. Isn't that special? (organ music plays) That will allow me to drop into Lester's laundry cart, and then we'll all rendezvous at the nurses' desk, where we'll sign out because this is a voluntary facility, and we can leave any time we want. See you later, Mr. Brown. Or not. Totally up to you. Sorry, Cleve-bro. We're staying. What? We're making some real progress. Okay. (panting) (ship's horn blares) Dirty-Rassen-frassenpercalumin chabadamin-back-rackalacka! Ooh, a Jet Ski! Spring break! Cleve gone wild! Ahh! (ship's horn blares) Aw, hell! I keep waking up tied to a bed. I feel like Hugh Jackman's cabaña boy. You should be so lucky. You were pulled from the water by Somali pirates. And they kill everyone who isn't of use to them, (voice cracking): including... my poor wife. (creaky door opens) Oh, hi. I need to switch rooms. This guy is bumming me out. I don't know if you have any singles open or... Silence! Now that we have you, we don't need this frail, old man. Well, that was a stupid move. You're all under arrest. (dramatically): For murder! (surf rolling) Aw, this soaks deck. Hey there, Chief. You mind if I pick up here tomorrow? Say between 1:00 and 4:00? See, I'm a cable installer... Good, because our cable is out. We missed the last Mad Men. You will fix our cable. Oh, this will be easy. Good luck. We've tried everything. Oh, so pirates couldn't fix their cable? That's right. Exactly, so let me do what I do. Caw! Caw! PIRATE: It is working! Mad Men is on. There's Pete Campbell. Ooh, that Pete Campbell is a weasel. Isn't he? Yes, he is; I can't stand him. Can't you? Ugh, now I want to kill you again. Do you? Ahh! ♪ Brick house... ♪ The Commodores Gold Record and All-You-Can-Eat Jumbo Shrimps Cruise! Our next target. We are going to kill everyone on board and steal the gold records. (Cleveland whistles) Wow. It's the Commodores! Ooh, I bet it won't take much to murder them. And there's Donna... Roberta... Junior... I bet Rallo's next. Yep, called it. (gasps) Donna, Roberta, Junior and Rallo? They went without me? Oh, which hurts, but I should save them, which will require swimming. Hmm, just had those saltines and cottage cheese 20 minutes ago. So, in ten more minutes, I should be G-2-G. I met the nicest couple from Baltimore. They said their neighbor's granddaughter would be perfect for me. You think that's code for fat or black? Probably both. Cool! I like fat black girls. I can't believe this cruise doesn't have cocktail sauce. Finish your breakfast, Rallo! Hey, Junior. Huh? All right, pirates, in one hour we board the cruise ship to rape, pillage and plunder. PIRATES: Yay! And maybe this time, a little less raping. I think with the last boat, we all got a wee bit carried away. We're better than that, you guys. I never thought I'd say this, but if I have to eat one more friggin' shrimp I'm gonna kill myself. I got one! (flapping like a fish) Okay, okay, stop it! Oh, my goodness, a talking whale! I'm not a talking wha... Oh, come on, that's... that's mean. What mysteries of the deep have you come to tell me, o sea monster? Junior, it's me. Your dad. Daddy! "Dad," 14. "Dad." Listen, we're in a heap of trouble. Somali pirates are about to take over the ship unless we stop them. Where's your mother? She's dead. Oh, right. Where's Donna? (funk music playing) Cleveland? You're all in grave danger! There are Somali pirates... they're gonna attack... any minute now... so we need to be prepared... (clears throat) ♪ Ow, she's a brick house ♪ (gunshot) Give us the gold records, and nobody gets hurt until after we get the gold records. Nevah! Don't worry. I'll blow these pirates away with the power of the funk! (strums chord) ♪ Funk powerrrrr! ♪ It's okay. He wasn't one of the original members! (smattering of applause) (gunfire, panicked screaming) (explosion) Oh, Cleveland! So, you decided to go on the cruise without me, huh? Well, to make it up to me... Roberta, cover your ears. I want two oral sins when I want them, even after a flight, and no reciprocals. Get us out of this, and you can have one with no reciprocals and three egg cracks. Mm. Can I have an egg crack now? Crack. Ooh... Oo-hoooo, there's egg all down my shoulders. Shiver. So gooey. Okay, stay here, I'll be back. (shudders): Oooh... That was a delayed one. Nice. Hm-m-m. (gunfire) (woman screams) (gunfire) We're doomed. Hi, Daddy... Dad. Sorry, son. I can't save us. I don't have the energy. Wait, my pills! Junior, would you reach in my anus? Sure! Wait, let me check my pocket first. (groans) (gun cocks) Any last puns or wordplay? You've heard of pirating cable, but how about cabling a pirate? You have defeated us. Have I? Yes! Ugh! I hate you! Do you? Ahh! (ship's horn blares) Cleveland, you really saved the day. Maybe I was wrong about you taking those pills. I hope so, 'cause I haven't stopped. Are you serious? Y-Yeap-a! Anybody know how to play the guitar? ♪ Thanks for the time that you've given me ♪ ♪ The memories all in my mind ♪ ♪ You're once, twice, three times ♪ ♪ La, la, la-laaaaaaaa! ♪ (splashing) (Cleveland barking) (frantically chewing gum) Hey, I'm Cleveland Brown, and we had a good time tonight-igh-igh-igh, and we talked about addiction which is no laugh-- (laughs)-- laughing matter, which is why I'm back here telling you all this and we killed a pirate and whatnot, but please, addiction no bueno es bad. C-Bro, we going to that party? You betcha! == sync, corrected by elderman == You're the one who got a problem with Detective ***? - Yeah, that's right. - How can I help you out? Previously on Chicago Fire... - His name is Casey. - How much? You stop him for good, I'll give you two. Move it in. [Siren walls] I got him. You're cooked, youngblood. It's gonna be all right. We're all right now. It's over. I get that surgery, the department doesn't like how it looks, I go on long-term disability. At 75% pay. And then do what, shay? I fish off Navy pier for the next 20 years? It's dumping gas! - Get a hose on there! - Go! You're going in there? You need to get back behind the lines. Mouch, get this kid safe. I'm not gonna pretend like I don't remember peeling you off the floor after that woman broke your heart. I know. I just always thought she was the one. Come on! Get down! [Children cheering] When can we go back inside? We have to check with the gas company, ma'am. And they'll tell you when it's safe. Ms. Simpson, I was looking for Leonard to get the keys to the shed. No one's seen him. Oh, God. Everyone, stop. We're going back in. [Dramatic music] ? Leonard! Down here? Call out! You guys smell anything? Are we sure they cut off the gas lines? Oh, I shut it down myself. [Bubbling] Smells like chemicals. Crystal meth! Masks on! Really, Leonard, with the kids up there? Ah. Okay, everyone, listen up. Everyone on scene will have a baseline drug test. Today. - Happy Thanksgiving. - Uh-huh. Hey, chief, Dawson and I didn't go down there. I don't care. Anybody on the premises. We're gonna want to know how much any of you may have in your system. Okay. [Indistinct radio chatter] Hey. How you doing? Pretty good. Seen you around a few times. I live around the corner. I like to watch. Yeah. I remember you saying. Well, you're welcome to come down to firehouse 51 anytime you'd like a tour. Can I ride on the truck? Maybe. - Hey. - Hey. I may have taken something this morning. Toradol? - Stronger. - What? [Scoffs] Michael Jackson couldn't have handled those. Where'd you get those? Will it show up on the test? Will these narcotics show up on a drug test? - Hey. - What? Seriously, why don't we do this more often? - Okay. - [Laughs] [Knock on door] Uh, lieutenant, you got some visitors. They're early. My sister has ruined more nooners for me than the rest of the world combined. You had a lot of these growing up? How do you think I put myself through med school? [Laughs] Come on, aunt Hallie. It starts in five minutes. Uh-oh, what do we have here? VIP guests for the parade? - Aunt Hallie! - Hey. - Hey, Viv. Hey. - How ya doing? - Can't complain. - Good? - How's, um--how's your mom? - Viv. No, it's fine. She's, um-- she's doing all right. Thanks for asking. Now, who's gonna bring me back some candy? - I will! - Yeah! Hey, tell your mom you get to eat as much as you can fit in your mouth. - [Laughs] - Right. You guys have fun. - Bye. - Bye. Bye. See you when you get back. - Look at you. - Restaurant tricks. Impressive. [Marching band music] 25 members... Look at these chumps. Are you kidding, man? Parade detail is great. Peter Mills, hold your arm up. Now keep it there for five hours. That's what being in the parade is. Mills, the shriners-- they throw out candy-- you clean up, man. Now, listen, I know you guys are gonna give me crap for this. Go on. [Sighs] I want to start a podcast. What the hell's that? Well, when I record myself being equal parts charming and brilliant, and then I put it up on iTunes, and people subscribe, and they follow me. A mute would be better at that than you. [Laughter] [Feigns laugh] It's gonna be a "Day in the Life of a Chicago Firefighter" sort of thing. We have a slow day, and you're just gonna reinforce the stereotype that all we do is sit around and eat. You got a problem with it, lieutenant? Go for it. Drug tester's on his way. And again, this is mandatory. Hey, chief, there's a kid outside looking for you. Thanks. Good. You came on by. You said it was cool. It is, it is. What's your name? - Ernie. - Ernie? Chief Boden. You hungry, Ernie? Hey, everybody. This here is Ernie. He's gonna be eating some turkey with us. - What's up, Ernie? - Hey, Ernie. Hey, I need a sous chef, chief. Get over here, little man, we got a turkey dinner to prepare. - Go ahead. - Come on. First thing we gotta do, taste this gravy. Tell me what you think. - Good. - It's good. Where'd you find that mutt? I just want to see what's going on with him. You catch a vibe? I've seen him at two different fire scenes. Chief, if we got a firebug here, you know it's next to impossible to prove anything. Can you just spend some time with him? See what we find out. Yo, Ernie. Don't let Mills here make you do all the work. He's what we call a candidate. You know how there's all those rungs on the ladder? He's the bottom one. - Oh. - Come on, I'll give you a tour. Hey, heads up. Hey, what are you doing here on Thanksgiving? Reinforcements. [Alarm beeps, buzzes] Truck 81, ambulance 61. Multiple gunshot wounds. 1542 Elmwood Park. Hey, would you put the turkey in? - Sure. - Thank you. This meal is very important. - Kid, you should stay-- - Forget that. Come on. - Chief. - Yeah, I got him. Ernie, stand here. Let's go, let's go! [Engine starts] [Engine starts] [Siren walls] [Laughs] That was awesome. Always is. [Siren wailing] [Horn honks] Someone stepped on the anthill today. [Groaning] [Gunshots] Get down! [Gunshot] Oh! Ambulance 61, I need a 10-1 at Elmwood Park. - You okay? - Yeah. They're still shooting here. Copy that. [Gunshot] Where the hell's the cpd? Help me, I'm bleeding! [Groans] [Shouting in Spanish] [Gunshots] [Whistles] Truck, ammo, move. Get ready to move. Crawl out the other side. - Cruz! - Yeah! Move the truck forward, so we can use it as a barrier. On it. [Gunshots] Let's go. Come on. [Dramatic music] So, that's it? Nothing goes on my permanent record about causing anyone any trouble? No. And my record? You might want to ask for this to be made part of your record. The school board was really pleased with the way you handled the matter, especially considering you're a student teacher and this was your first day of school. They thought you followed the rules and, "Conducted himself in a professional manner at a time "when it would have been easier to avoid filing a report." Nice. But I think I'd like to keep it confidential and off-record anyway. Done. Read something they said about me. Did they say anything about me like that? About how quickly I apologized, admitted I was in the wrong? Um, uh, I don't think so. Let me see, um... "Understandable, considering the stress Ben has been under during the past year and..." So forth. What's the so forth? You want to just leave this alone? I mean, we both caught a break here. No, I do not just want to leave this alone, if you don't mind. I would like to know about the "and so forth." Oh, they just understood that there might be some jealousy since you both had a relationship with Adrian. Both had a relationship? I was married to her. He wasn't married to her. He's not married to her. I might get married to her. I asked her to marry me. What? Months ago. Look, I'm in love with Adrian. All right? She doesn't want to think about getting married right now, but I want to marry her. She met my mother last Sunday, after church. What? All right, then, we should disperse. Get going. (CLEARING THROAT) I can't believe this. Amy is married and Adrian is semi-engaged or something and I'm not even allowed to date. This is ridiculous. Ridiculous times call for ridiculous measures. Like? Like staying home and studying and focusing on getting into college. Getting an education prepares you for life. Getting an education helps you think. Thinking is a skill in itself. Look, say what you want about school, but life is all about does the boy get the girl? Does the girl get the boy? Or does the boy get the boy? Or does the girl get the girl? Or any of that, all of that! I understand what you're saying, but let me put it another way. Every relationship is a school. Every person you meet is a teacher. If you don't like learning things in school, you're probably going to have a few problems learning from people. Now, that's ridiculous. ♪ Falling in love is such an easy thing to do ♪ Birds can do it We can do it ♪ Let's stop talking Let's get to it ♪ Let's fall in love It's important to have friends, girlfriends. Not just a boyfriend and not just guy friends, but girlfriends. I don't like girls. They're catty and mean and, well, I like guys. Okay, well, you probably don't like girls because you've had bad experiences with girls. No, I've had a bad experience with a guy and I still like guys. I just don't like girls on a general principle. Look, I don't know what I would have done without my friends when I was pregnant. You need to meet some girls, some girls your age. Uh, it's kind of hard to make friends with girls my age when I'm pregnant. Well, you made a friend and you're pregnant. My point exactly. Ethan wants to be my friend, even maybe my boyfriend. You think there are any girls here who want to be my friend? No. And I don't care. You suck. You suck. Kathy, that is not how you make friends. She was staring at me. We were staring at her. Thought she was going to say hello, at least, I was hoping she was going to say hello. Well she didn't. Because you told her that she sucks. Here. Let me help you out. Hey, uh, excuse me. You mind if I ask you a question? Get your hands off me and no, you can't ask me something, weirdo. See? Hi, excuse me. I'm Amy Juergens. I thought you got married to Ricky Underwood. Yeah, I did. Then how come your name isn't Amy Underwood? Well, actually, the name Underwood, either. It's totally lame. Yeah, it's gross. Amy Underpants. Who needs that? Not you. Not after being a teen mom and everything. Not that Yurgens is any better. Uh, it's "Juergens." Yeah, but it's really Yurgens. Amy Yurgens? (IN GERMAN ACCENT) Yeah, Yurgens didn't wear underpants and that is how she got pregnant. (CHUCKLING) Hey, maybe I could be friends with you two. Yeah. You know, I've been dying to ask you how you got pregnant. You know what sex is, right? Hey, so it looks like your little mentoree made some friends. Now we don't have to hang out with her. Well, that's not very nice. I thought you said you were sick of hanging out with her. No. Not sick, really. Just... I really think that she should make some friends of her own, some girlfriends, instead of just hanging out with Ethan, her new boyfriend. I don't think she should even have a boyfriend, especially Ethan. You sound like an old married lady. And I remind you, you pretty much hung out with Ben the entire time you were pregnant and forgot about Madison and me. I remember that a little bit differently. Your parents didn't want you hanging out with me when I was pregnant. Right. But they came around eventually. Of course, I don't think you're their favorite friend. Madison is. Madison slept with your boyfriend. But she didn't get pregnant. And my parents like her parents. My parents like your parents, too. I don't think they'd go away on vacation with your parents or anything, but... (SIGHS) This sounds negative when all I wanted to do was say I'm happy for you that Kathy made some friends. Now, I have to go meet Madison. Why can't I go meet Madison? Uh... 'Cause we're looking for guys? (SIGHS) Hi. Hey, Grace. Hi. Um, I don't guess that you'd maybe want to do something tonight, would you? Tonight? Yeah. My mom wants us to try to be friends. Oh, yeah, I think my dad wants the same thing. (CHUCKLES) Um, but, I mean, you've never not been my friend and I've never not been your friend. We haven't been close, but we haven't not been close. Right, yeah. And I owe it all to you that I have a job at the church nursery. I'll always be grateful to you for that. Thank you. Although, being grateful is not quite the same as being a friend. Since I'm going to church again, it's the same church that sponsors the nursery where you work, it's just... It's really difficult to make friends because people are totally prejudiced against Christians, so I just thought maybe we could be friends. But we're already friends. Great, let's hang out, let's do something tonight. Grace, I have a baby. I have John. And by the time the church nursery closes and I get him home and I bathe him and feed him and put him to bed and do my homework, it's, like, 11:00 and I have a husband, so... I don't really have time to hang out with you or with any of my other friends. What if I came over and I help you with John and we did our homework together? And that would free you up for more friend time. Well, it's just that Ricky is in the apartment trying to study at the same time. Then I'll bring Jack, too. I mean, maybe the four of us can be friends. Thanks, Amy. That's a great idea. (DIALING) (CELL PHONE RINGING) Hey, what's up? Everything okay? Grace wants to come over with Jack tonight. For what? Just to hang out, be friends. What? My dad and Grace's mom want Grace and me to be friends. What does that have to do with Jack and me? Well, Jack is Grace's boyfriend and you're my husband, so... So what? So, got roped into doing this tonight and I'd like you to go along with it. Hey, Ricky! Are you coming in for a coffee? Yeah, I'll be right there. Okay. Is that your friend? Your friend Clementine? Yeah, you know, as long as people are coming over, maybe she could come over too. To the apartment with Grace and Jack? Wouldn't she be, like, the third wheel? Wouldn't she be a fifth wheel? Fine, I don't care. Might as well get that out of the way. What out of the way? Making friends with your friends so that hopefully she'll leave you alone. She's an old friend from a long time ago. I never slept with her and I'd never sleep with her and if I tried to sleep with anyone other than you, she'd probably kick my ass. What does that mean? That means I said the wrong thing. I just want her to meet you. And John. Fine. Bring her over. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I wasn't thinking. Were you on the phone with your wife? Yeah, that was Amy. She wants you to come over tonight. She wants to meet you. Why? You're my friend. She thought maybe you could be her friend. Really? Okay, I thought maybe you could be her friend. My friend and her friend. I don't know. Why not? Amy is a really nice girl and so are you. I told her all about you. If you told her all about me, I doubt she'd want to meet me. No, she does, she does, promise. All right. What time? She's usually home by seven. Are you sure about this? I don't feel like I can hang out in the coffee shop unless Amy's comfortable with our being friends. She's my wife. All right. But if it gets boring, I'm leaving. It's not going to be boring. I have someone I want you to meet. Oh? Why didn't you say so? See you at seven. You want another cup of coffee? I'll get the waitress. Oh, I don't know. I kind of like those scones. I got it! So, you're not dating anyone? Kind of. But you know what they say about relationships. "Sooner or later, they're all over." Even your relationship with Ricky. And yours. Hey, Clementine, Adrian needs another cup of coffee, do you mind? No, I don't mind. No, really, I'm fine. Fine? You must be exhausted. Multitasking, multi-flirting. No, I'm used to it. I think jealousy uses much more energy, negative energy. Are you feeling okay? Oh yeah, I'm good. I'm going over to Ricky's tonight. Okay, everyone out! (SIGHS) Thanks, Adrian, see you around. See you later. Text me. So, let me guess. You're going over to Ricky's to meet Amy? Yeah, she says she wants to meet me. She wants to be friends. You know her, right? Yeah, I know her. And I kind of doubt she wants to be friends with you. She's not going to like you. She's probably setting you up. It is a setup. They're introducing me to someone. Who? I don't know, but, uh, should be fun. Could I have some more coffee? Oh, I'm sorry. I just ran out. I'll have to make you some new coffee. Hi. Hi yourself. I was just thinking about you. That's nice. I like the sound of that. It's the craziest thing. All my life, the only thoughts I had were about one person. Me. I think it was mostly a survival instinct. Anyway, suddenly I'm walking along, alone, and then, bam! I think of you. (CHUCKLES) And the next thing I know, I've got this dumb grin on my face, like I'm high or loaded or something. Only I'm not high or loaded. I'm just thinking of you. Is that the grin? Yeah. I think that's it. It's not so dumb. You want to kiss me, don't you? Yeah. I do. But not here at school. We can't keep hiding out in people's cars. Would your grandmother let us make out in the living room? I think she would, but I wouldn't be comfortable with that. Would your mother, your foster mother, let us make out in her living room? Not a chance. Is this him? Yeah. What do you think? It's not bad, kind of the dark and brooding type. Like James Franco, just not as tall or good-looking. He looks either really smart or really dumb. I can't tell. Uh... Who is this? We're her friends. Do you have a problem with that? Yeah, I have a problem with that. And I have a problem with you looking at me like that. Who are you to look at me like that? I don't like him. Let's go. Me neither. Who are you to look at me like that. Come on, Kathy. Bye. Wait. I can't. Friends are really hard to get, especially when you're pregnant. I'll talk to you later. Isn't it harder to get a boyfriend when you're pregnant? (ALL GIGGLING) Ben just wants to see his girl. Ben needs some happiness in his life. He deserves it. I don't feel like letting him pretend to date me, okay? I don't like that. That would be using me to do something that I don't even think he should do. And Ben's my friend. He shouldn't ask me to do something I don't want to do. I've got the harder part. I have to go over and convince Dylan's parents to let her go out with me. But I think I'm up to the challenge. It could be fun. Or not. And you don't have the harder part. I have the harder part. He wants me to meet him at his house and lie to Mr. Boykewich. If we all get caught, what's Mr. Boykewich going to think of us after all he's done for us? He's going to think we're Ben's friends. But we don't want Ben with Dylan. We don't like Dylan. She's okay. No, she's not. She got him in trouble. First it was the pot, then it was the fire, what's next? Is she going to have him murder someone? No. I'm not going to do it. I don't like her. And I don't like him dating her. And for once, he should do what his father tells him and we should encourage him to do what his father tells him. That's what a real friend would do. That's not what a real friend would do. A real friend would do anything a friend needs him or her to do. I'm happy you said that. Anything? Yeah. What if Ben asked you to have sex with him. Well, that's ridiculous. Ben would never ask me to have sex with him. Ben didn't... Ben didn't ask you to have sex with him, did he? Did he? Did you? When! I want to know when! Years ago? Months ago? Weeks ago? It was the night of the fire. But it was friend sex. I swear. He was just so desperate. He needed someone. He needed comforting. So you slept with him? Just so we're perfectly clear, you and Ben had sex? And he's been trying to make me feel bad about sleeping with Adrian! And you didn't tell me? You just let me feel bad about it? You let me agonize over that one stupid mistake when the two of you did something just as bad! Or even worse! What did I ever do to you that you did this to me? Were you ever going to tell me? I mean, if you did this just to get back at me for breaking up with me I think you'd want me to know. Geez, Alice. That's really low. Henry! Pick me up at seven, okay? Seven. I got it. I'll be there. What? You're gonna go through with this? Oh, yeah. Game on. Hi. Hi. You look really nice. Oh, thanks. Where do you wanna go on our first date back? I got to be in early. I got curfew, you know. Well, we were invited over to Amy and Ricky's. What? Yeah, won't that be fun? I've never actually been over there before. Yeah, me neither. And that's because we're not really friends with Ricky and Amy. Yes, we are. We've known them for years. That's where you want to go? I was going to take us out for dinner or something. That's okay, I think they're just going to order a pizza or something. They can't really go out because of John. Great. It'll be fun. I don't think it will. They're married. They have a baby. Well, don't you want to get married and have a baby someday? Someday. Not today. Not tonight. Tonight I just want to spend some time with you. We don't need to spend so much time alone. It only makes us want to have sex. I'm always going to want to have sex with you, so I'm just going to have to wait until you tell me you want to have sex with me. All right, let's go. I just want to be with you. I know, I just... I think it's healthier to spend time with friends. How is that healthier? Because if you start acting stupid or something or you're not nice to me, Amy will point it out if I don't notice. Girls need girlfriends for that. I'm not going to be not nice to you. Why would I be not nice to you? I'm in love with you. It was just an example. I want a friend. I want us to have friends. I liked it better when you were friends with Adrian. That is over. Let's go. All right. Not "all right." I want you to be enthusiastic about whatever I want to do. Even when it's something stupid like going to a married couple's apartment and babysitting as our first date back together? That doesn't sound very enthusiastic. I can't wait! (GASPS) There we go. (SIGHS) Oh, Leo, I'm sorry I'm late. Crazy day at work. Relax, glad you could make it, good to see you. How was your day? Oh, it was good. Yeah? Any word from the school board? Oh, I heard from them, all right. They let him off the hook, but it wasn't easy, let me tell you. That's great news! I guess. You guess? Leo, come on. Ben didn't burn down the school and he didn't get kicked out of school or get anyone else kicked out. That's the best possible outcome. It's over! Congratulations! Oh, it's far from over. He has to get through the rest of the school year without getting in trouble. He won't get in anymore trouble. He's not a bad kid. Dylan's still circling around. Oh, another girl will come along and he'll forget all about her. (KNOCKING) No, I won't. Ben! I heard the good news. Yeah? Yeah. Congratulations! We should all go out and celebrate. He can't go out. He's on restriction. Oh, Leo. Wait. I'm on restriction from seeing Dylan, but I can still go out. I'm going out with Alice, uh, we're going to go catch a movie or something. Oh, are you? Yeah, she's coming over. I will just be in the kitchen. That's okay, isn't it? Going out with Alice? Where's Henry? Uh, I don't know. Alice probably called him. We'll probably meet up. Probably? It's not a big deal. Are you leaving out Henry for some reason? No. You and Alice dating? Got plans to sleep with her again? Dad! No. We are not dating, exactly. And I do not have plans to sleep with her. But if that were going to happen, you wouldn't have Henry around. Oh, I'll call Henry. Henry doesn't know you slept with Alice? No. He does not. And I'd like to forget that ever happened and so would Alice. Let me make a suggestion. Hang out with Henry, or Henry and Alice, not just Alice. You slept with her. She's not just a friend. Geez, Dad, what is going on here? What is going on here is I think you might be sneaking around trying to see Dylan. Where did that come from? I'll tell you where it came from. Dylan's father. He called me asking about Henry, if I know Henry. Dylan's going out with Henry tonight. He is not! Henry would not date Dylan. Why not? You're not dating her anymore. Well, I mean, he can date her if he wants, but he knows I still like her. I don't think he would ask her out on a date. But then again, I guess he did. Huh. It's, uh... I can't believe that. Fancy that. I can't either. You're not maybe planning on going to the movies with Alice and then bumping into Henry and Dylan and doing a little do-si-do, are you? Go back upstairs. You're not going anywhere. And give me your phone. What's the code? D-Y-L-A-N. (SIGHS) I figured. Look, come on, Dad, just let me go out with her. Adrian's boyfriend is asking her to marry him and she's practically engaged and Amy's married and it's not fair! See ya. Can I at least call Alice and tell her not to come over? Her number's in your contacts, right? I'll call her. All right, that's just an invasion of privacy! Go. I'm too old to be sent to my room! I'm divorced! I've lost a child! I'm over 18. I'm an adult! Then start acting like an adult. I'm done here. Go. (DIALING) Alice? Uh, It's me. It's Leo. Oh, hi, Mr. Boykewich. You have Ben's phone? Yes, I do. Oh, no, did you tell him that you know? Yeah, but I told him, uh, Dylan's dad told me. Oh. Thank you. No, thank you for telling me. You did the right thing. And I just wanted to let you know you don't need to come over. He's not going anywhere. Okay. Thanks. Henry! Hi! Come in. I want you to meet my parents. I never smoked weed. Marijuana. Thank you for the clarification. And I've never had a drink. Filipino parents are very strict. What time would you like me to bring your daughter home? We haven't said she can go out with you yet. Uh, how do you two know each other? Dad, from school? Actually, and I don't think you know this, Dylan. I first saw you at the same party where you met Ben. I even pointed you out to Ben, because I took one look at you and I was totally smitten. But Ben Boykewich moved in on you before I even had a chance. Huh. Interesting. Yeah. We should go. No, we shouldn't. If you were my daughter, I wouldn't just let you walk out of the house with some guy I don't know. Ask me anything you want. And I will try to answer honestly and to the best of my ability. Would you like a piece of cake? Honestly? Yes. I have a real sweet tooth. What's your favorite dessert? Whatever you like to bake. What does your father do? He's a male nurse. He works in assisted care. He wanted to be a doctor but his dad died when he was young and he had to take care of my grandmother and that's how he got into the field. He's very patient. He likes older people. Our culture is very respectful of the elderly. What would your family say if someday you wanted to marry someone outside of your culture? I've already asked. We've discussed it at length, and my parents feel that matters of the heart should be decided by the heart. Okay, if we're going to get to the 7:30 show, we really should be going. But he didn't get his cake. Let me get the cake. We don't have time. HENRY: We should take the time. If we're going to be in a relationship, we want to get off to a good start. You know what? Why don't we just hang out here? Do you like board games? Henry, I really want to see the movie. The 7:30 movie. What you want, Dylan, is very important to me. But what your parents want is just as important. Good man. Nice to get some respect. You sleep on the bed. Let the girls sleep on these. Okay, I'm sure they won't mind. Thank you so much for letting them come over. Letting them? Honey, this is your house, too, and your friends are always welcome here. I'm so happy you made some friends. I know how lonely you've been. Yeah, my old friends kind of abandoned me. Ah, who needs them? You're a darling girl. You're smart and you're a lot of fun. You girls have a good time tonight. Now, I've got pizzas and salad, there's some fruit, popcorn, cookies. There's some leftover chicken. I can make some flautas and guacamole. Whatever you want. I think the pizza and the salad will be enough. Thank you so much. (PHONE RINGING) Hi. So are we doing something tonight or not? I can't. My girlfriends are sleeping over. I'm having a sleepover. This is like the first normal thing I've done since I got pregnant. All right, well... Just let me know where I fit in here. Okay, I'll talk it over with Jody and Francine and I'll let you know. (SCOFFS) I'm just joking. Oh, yeah? Well, not funny. And... You know what? This isn't going to work out. I have to go. (CELL PHONE RINGING) No, I have to go. (CELL PHONE RINGING) And I don't like your friends, either. They're not nice. What does that have to do with anything? They're still my friends. We'll see. Yeah, we will. Boyfriend problems? He thinks my friends aren't nice. And why would he say that? Because they aren't. But it's high school and you have to have friends and these are the only friends I can get right now. Ooh, let's make some spicy ones. Amy doesn't like spicy. Actually, she prefers no meat. You work at a butcher shop. Yeah. Okay, what about we make some hot sauce to dip them in? Good idea. Remember that time... No. Not unless you tell me the time. You got the fusilli stuck up your nose? Okay, whose idea was that? And Mrs. Ramsey called the fire department to get it out. I was turning blue in the face. I stuck it up both... Oh, hi. Oh, hi, Amy. I didn't hear you come in. Hi, I take it you're Clementine? Yeah. Nice to meet you. And who's this? That's the guy I wanted you to meet. That's our son, John. Hey, John, say hi to daddy's friend Clementine. No. (SIGHS) It's a great apartment. Thanks, yeah, we're good. So, how long have you been married? Um, just a couple of weeks now. Oh, whoa, so you just got married. I'll have to get you a wedding present. Oh, no, no, please. You don't have to do that. So, you're a sophomore? Yeah. Are you a freshman somewhere? No, I'm a senior. In high school. I'll be going to college next year. I hope. Great. You're gonna love it. I love it. Great. So, do you, like, have a boyfriend or anything? No. I went out with this guy recently, but he's a jock. You know how jocks are. It was just, you know, a physical thing, I guess. For him, anyway. Actually, I don't really know how that is. I've only really dated Ricky and a couple of other guys, but no jocks. Well, I mean, Ricky is a jock, right? He's an amazing baseball player. Or did he give that up? Yeah, I guess he did give it up. Oh, man, he was playing for this team one summer and they were going to nationals and he had a no-hit season going. It was unprecedented. His name is probably on some plaque or something. And then he drew a bunch of body parts on the bases. Like first base for first base, second base for second... Yeah, I get it. (CHUCKLES) He thought it would inspire the guys to try a little bit harder but the other team's coach saw it, protested, and had him kicked off the team and they lost without him. So, maybe his name is not on a plaque. (KNOCKING ON DOOR) Oh, excuse me, I have friends dropping over, too. Hi, Amy. Hi. Hey, come on in. Sorry we're late. We wanted to stop and get some dessert. Oh, hi. I'm Grace. I'm... Clementine. Yeah. This is Jack. And we're Christians. Oh. Interesting. Clementine is at the same college that Ricky and Jack go to. Hi, Clementine. Hi. I should be going. Oh, no, please stay. Ricky's just getting John down to bed. I really should be going. Thank you so much for inviting me over and letting me meet you and John. Ricky loves you both so much. But the meatballs... I have work tomorrow. Hey, it was nice meeting you, uh... It's Grace. Grace. And Jack, right? (CLEARS THROAT) You slept with her? I feel bad that Ben didn't want to eat with us. I felt badly he lied to me yet again. Well, Leo, maybe you're just going to have to let him date Dylan. No, I'm not. I want to say something, if I may... I hope, whatever it is, it starts with an apology. No. It doesn't. I just want to say that if you're going to tell me who to date, I think I should have every right to tell you who to date. What! Yeah. And unless you plan on getting her pregnant or importing some offspring from some other source and adopting them, you should quit dating Camille. No offense, Camille. Are you drunk? No, I'm perfectly sober. Last time, you married a hooker and I didn't speak up. This time I'm speaking up. You two do not belong together. You're too fat and she's too thin. She probably can't even get pregnant. If she could, she would have trapped you by now. (GROANS) (LAUGHING) You want to get married? Ow. Well? Seriously? Yeah. Yeah. (LAUGHING) (WHISPERS) That really hurt. (GROANING) I knew they weren't gonna come. Maybe they got lost. Maybe they got lost and they lost my phone number. It was just a big joke on me. I'm such an idiot. No one wants to be friends with me. I am sure there's some explanation. Get real, Grandma. I'm pregnant and I'm new at the school and no one wants anything to do with me. And I knew it was going to be that way going into this. Honey, don't say that. And, of course, I blew it with Ethan because I was the "b" word to him. Bitch. Yes, I'm just surprised you said "'b' word." You have a tendency to use foul language, which I'm not completely opposed to when it's called for. Why don't you call him? Oh, I can't. I'll call him. No, it's stupid for me to have a boyfriend. It's bad timing. (KNOCKING AT DOOR) I already called him. Stay off the bed. Or the one she's on, anyway. So, mind if I come in? I guess not. I told you those two weren't nice. You came over here to tell me you told me so? Yeah. And I wanted to show you how much nicer I am. That's because you want to make out with me. Uh, not in here. It's a little intimate, you know. And it would be a little difficult since I can't sit on that bed. Maybe I'll just sit... Over here. I feel like such a loser. I have no girlfriends. I don't have any friends either, but I'm not a loser and neither are you. It's not that I'm feeling sorry for myself, but... I miss my room. I miss my bed. I miss my pets, my friends, my family. And most of all, I miss my virginity. Well, if you want, you can have mine. (CHUCKLING) Shut up. I knew you were going to say that. So, what were you girls going to do at your sleepover, anyway? Talk about you. I told you that's my favorite subject. We can talk about me all you want. Cecilia, you are a heck of a mah-jongg player. Played growing up. I'm still lost. Next time, poker. Oh, I don't gamble, but if you make it penny poker, I might be willing to lose a buck or two. Put the phone away, Dylan. You have company. Just texting my girlfriends. It's time for me to leave. Oh, It's only 9:00. We could have some coffee, watch a movie. More cake? Oh, the cake was awesome. But really, I don't want to overstay my welcome, so, Dylan, do you want to walk me to the door? Go ahead, Dylan. Go ahead. Of course. What are you doing? Ben has been waiting for hours. Oh, I doubt it. You doubt it? Okay, let me rephrase that. I don't care. I don't care about Ben. I care about you. And I did see you first at that party and I am really smitten with you. And I'm angry with myself for stepping aside for my friend. You slept with Ben's wife that night. Yeah, I did. And it was a huge mistake, huge. But stepping aside, huger mistake. He doesn't deserve you. He's in love with Amy. He's always been in love with Amy, so don't waste your time. And I hope you'll give me a chance. Good night, Robert. Good night, Cecilia. BOTH: Good night, Henry. He's such a slut. He's probably slept with half the girls on the campus already. JACK: No, I haven't. You know how much it costs me to fill up my truck? A hundred bucks. Get a hybrid, man. It's the only way to go. Uh, a little too girly for me. Oh, yeah, that's right, sorry. It was a free car. My parents gave it to me, so... It is a little girly, but I'd have to have a very good reason if I wanted to trade it in. You got a family. You need something bigger. Amy's got a bigger car. Of course, it's orange. Why did she pick orange? I don't know, some friend of her mother's gave it to her just to annoy her dad. You both got free cars? Yeah, so no car payments. If we had car payments, we'd be in trouble. You got a scholarship, right? Yeah, you got one too, right? Yeah. Yours is based on academics, but mine a depends on my game and the coach isn't too happy with me right now. Yeah, well, you gotta do what you gotta do. I don't know. Grace, he was with Clementine before you guys were even back together. He was with Clementine knowing we were going to get back together. All right, well, aren't you happy that you didn't have sex with him? I mean, aren't you happy that you decided to wait? Not to wait, but to wait to do it again? 'Cause you're worth waiting for. And if Jack's not ready, then he's not ready. Let him do whatever he wants to do. You just have to stay committed to yourself and your beliefs and who you are. Wow. I wish we had been closer the last few years. Well, it would have been awkward, considering my mother and your mother were not so friendly. Yeah. Think they'll ever be friends? Yeah. I do. My mother is clearly not interested in being with my father anymore. How's that going? For you, I mean? Is it weird? Uh, yeah. (CHUCKLES) Yeah, it is. But you know, she should be who she is, too, and I just have to get used to that. Do you think your dad and my mom will ever get married? Think we'll ever be sisters? I wouldn't mind. I always kind of wanted a sister. I always wanted a nice sister. (KNOCKING AT DOOR) Let me get that. Ugh, she better not have come back. (SIGHS) RICKY: Who is it? ADRIAN: It's me. I'm not going to be left out. I'm not interested in you. Where's Clementine? What are you doing here? Why shouldn't I be here? I'm friends with all of you. Er...well, nothing now. You know what he does to his victims. He lures them off trains by gaining their trust. He gets them alone, kills them. Lots of people kill. What does he do specifically? Er... He takes them somewhere dark...underground. It's strange. They're such pretty girls yet he wants them in the dark. Go on. He strangles them, he waits until they're dead and then rapes them. What else does he do? Tell me. They wear perfume. He puts them in cellars, Anderson shelters, confined spaces, things like that. The smell of it becomes almost unbearable. You know who he is, don't you? What I'm going to tell you goes no further. - It's entirely confidential. - Mm-hm. But if there have been 12 deaths, I think I must tell you. There was a man, he worked for me. Good at his job. Very clever, very careful, and then...a bomb hit the building where he was working and everyone was killed. We thought... But he wasn't dead. He was buried in the rubble under a stairwell. He survived, you see... for three days in the dark until they dug him out. And there was a girl in there, too. But she was dead. - They were trapped. - For three days? We sent him to a psychiatrist... because he was...different afterwards. Still good at his job... almost too good, but different. I often feared what might have happened down there. But the psychiatrist said he was fit to work and I needed him, so... Where is he now? (Sighs) There was a fire. We found his body. His signet ring, his keys. No face, of course. I chose not to pursue it, not to question it. I was almost relieved when I heard. I'll let you have all the paperwork I've got on him. There's not much, I'm afraid. There's been some sort of accident. (Knock on door) Hello. Harry. The doctor's seen her, nothing's broken, but the bruising's pretty bad. She can stay here for now. RADIO: This is the BBC Home Service News at one o'clock This is Alvar Lidell Police have arrested a man and charged him with the murders of five women in London. Gerald Wiggins, a railway ticket inspector, was apprehended at his home yesterday Inspector Lawley of Scotland Yard said that Wiggins appears to be mentally frail Police believe they have found evidence linking him to all five murdered women. The petrol and fuel oil shortages at home maybe worsening... That's it, isn't it? He's gone. Lucy, I'm so sorry. It's not your fault. Did he take anyone from the train? Not that we know of. No -one's been reported missing. - The police must have scared him off. - That's something. That's a lot. - That's a life you saved. - I know, but he's still out there. We still don't know who he is. I do know who he is, actually. (Clears her throat) He's Malcolm Crowley. - You got a name from Cavendish? - Who's Cavendish? He headed up a classified department during the war. He trained Crowley. Jean found him. So we have a name and whatever else is in there. Bloody hell. - How's your friend? - Recovering. - What happened to her? - Harry beat her. It's not the first time. Good God. Er... Lucy's the little one? Yes. - And her husband did that to her? - It happens. Does this have something to do with the other day? Yes. - But you don't want to talk to me about it? - I can't. All right. I... I understand. - You do? - She's your friend. Whatever you were trying to do for her, get her away from him, to... Barking, whatever... Even if it didn't work that...was a good thing for a friend to do. - Timothy... - No, no, I understand. I didn't before. But... I do now. Thank you. - I was hoping to see her at the end of the day. - Yes, well, you must. - You will be back in time for this... - Yes, of course. - He was in the rubble for three days? - With her body, yes. Jesus! - Who was the psychiatrist they sent him to? - Dr Tremaine at the Meredith Hospital. We should talk to him, see if he remembers Crowley. If he knows what happened to him. The Meredith's not far from here. Why don't you go? Are you sure? Don't worry, I'll look after her. (Rings bell) - Can I help you? - I'm looking for a Dr Tremaine. I'm afraid Dr Tremaine no longer works here. - The hospital's being shut down, I'm sorry. - I... I... Sorry, Mr...? Croft. Andrew Croft. Mr Croft, I'm Susan Gray. I'm trying to trace one of his patients from the war. Are there any records, addresses, anything? - What name was it? - A Malcolm Crowley. I think you'd better come inside, Mrs Gray. Damn. You gain weight, Hill? No, it was too much beer. Hey, puke on me, and I'll leave you right here. All right. Adams? Yo, Adams, come on, man. Get up. You hear me? Come on, man. I'm not gonna drag both your sorry asses back to the ship. Adams, come on, we're back by 0600-- ♪ NCIS 9x19 ♪ The Good Son Original Air Date on March 27, 2012 == sync, corrected by elderman == ♪ It's been over an hour, and still not one word. I know. It's heaven. I'm worried, McGee. What if he's sick? He'd be whining. He always whines when he's sick. You two really suck at whispering. Believe it or not, I can hear you. And I'm not sick. Every once in a while, I just need to power down. Be still. Reflect on this little trip through the cosmic rip. I... I need to find my deep calm. Yeah, he's sick. Yeah. Let's check for a fever. What is this? Last year's performance appraisal review. Hah! How did you get this? The NCIS fairy left it under my pillow. What do you think? You stole it? Ooh, McGee. Gibbs wrote something in the comment section. "Agent DiNozzo displays exemplary skills, though he can be too talkative in the field." If, by too talkative, he means you never shut up. Well, I think Gibbs was being a bit too gracious. After ten years, he doesn't know this is how I work. I always thought it was like a mild case of Tourette's or something. It's my process. You guys know that. It-It's how I focus, you know. I talk it out. Talkative. Hah! Com-Coming from a functional mute, that's rich. Maybe that's what he's... Maybe that's what he's doing. He's trying to tell me something. Maybe I should dial it back. Get... Get my quiet on. I think you're, uh, overreacting a bit, Tony. I'm gonna kill the next performance appraisal. Next time he writes down, in his little margin here, "DiNozzo: "professional; DiNozzo: focused. DiNozzo..." Too much yabba yabba. Sorry boss, I was just suppressing the yabba? Good. Grab your gear. Got a dead petty officer in Baltimore. So now it's too much yabba yabba? When did that happen? In the womb would be my guess. Any chance we may bump into your old coworkers? Or even Wendy, perhaps? Wendy and I decided to leave it alone for now. - Really? - Yeah. Turns out Ol' Blue Eyes was wrong. Love isn't always lovelier the second time around. In fact, it's kind of painful and strange. - Yabba. - Enough chit-chat, Ziva. A man's got to work. - McGee. - Wallet was found near the body. No cash. Victim is Caleb Adams. 23, petty officer second class on the DD-350 Hagen. It's a destroyer docked for liberty at Chesapeake Bay. Check for surveillance in the area. Those two with him? They said they found him this way. I'm still getting the details. Doc? Abrasions on his hands and face indicate the possibility of a fight which was ended by this single stab wound. Ugly. That's it, Tony? Only one word? No wisecracks about wayward sailors on shore leave? No obscure On the Town references? Is that a movie? I understand that sailors often refer to this liberty as their annual beer-and-crabs week. Not those kind of crabs, Ziva. Ah! There's the Tony we know and love. Boss, Baltimore PD's got a suspect in custody. Got a 911 call about Petty Officer Adams before the sailors found him. Came from a auto-repair shop two blocks away. Said they found a mechanic there trying to wash blood off his hands and jacket. Got the suspect's jacket. Lot of blood, boss. Is this your jacket? Look, I'm being railroaded here. What's your name? Michael Thomas. You got a lawyer to call, Mr. Thomas? No, I want to call someone else. They've got this all wrong, Leon. Just do what they say, Michael. I'll take him to processing. Your wife's kid brother? He's my family, too, Gibbs. - Then you'll be recusing yourself. - For what reason? He's a murder suspect, Leon. Those are your rules, not mine. I'm well aware, Gibbs, but as long as he's your suspect, I'm going, too. Gibbs, give us a minute. Is that a problem? All right, just tell me, Michael. Tell me you didn't do this. Leon, no, I was just trying to help the guy. And you didn't know Petty Officer Adams? You'd never met him? I've never seen him before this morning, hand to God. Look, the cops got it all wrong, man. You know I would never do this. You gotta believe me. You believe me, right? Yeah. But it's not me you need to worry about. No, please, just don't tell Jackie. And it's not your sister, either. Gibbs is my best agent. Convince him. Tell him the truth, everything will be okay. Minute's up. No record. This your first arrest? First and only. I'm a good person, Agent Gibbs; ask Leon. I'm not asking him. I'm asking you. Well, I just meant he knows who I am. He knows I'd never kill anybody. Cops say they found you with blood on your hands. I was trying to stop that kid from bleeding to death. They said that you were asking skittish. That you couldn't get your story straight. They wouldn't let me talk. I tried to tell them what happened. They wouldn't listen. They just assumed I was lying. Okay. I'm listening. Talk. Well, I was headed into work on 57th. Today was my day to open up the shop. So I took the 5:00 a.m. bus into town. Just got off and headed down State Street, and that's when I heard... It was awful. It sounded like a dying animal. And I-I got to the corner, and that's when I saw him. And he-he was lying there on his side, and, um, there was all this blood and... But he was still alive. What time was that? It was just after 5:30. Okay, then what? Well, he-he reached out his hand like he was asking for help. I tried to apply pressure to the wound, but it was too late; he was gone. When did you call 911? I called from my cell on the way to work about a quarter to 6:00. You left him there? I felt bad, but I had to leave. Man was dead? Yeah. My boss gets mad if I'm late. I need this job, Agent Gibbs. Did you tell the 911 operator that Petty Officer Adams was dead? I gave them the location, my name, the address where I was at. There any other witnesses there at the scene? Just me; that's why I called as soon as I could. I didn't want to leave him out there alone. You ever watch someone die? Not me. Now I can't stop seeing his face. You know, his eyes. I swear, I'll never forget his eyes as long as I live. He wasn't breathing. I saw him die. There was blood... Oh, God. Okay, sir, calm down. Tell me where he was; I need an address. In an alley off of 57th. You-you got to send someone out there. We will, but I need you to stay on the line with me, okay? Police say the call came in at 5:47 this morning. - Tracks with Michael's account. - Sounded genuinely upset. Connection to the victim? None that I can find. I searched e-mail accounts and phone records for both Michael Thomas and Petty Officer Adams. No communication between them. Michael's boss said that Adams was never a customer at the shop. Background. Petty Officer Caleb Adams joined the Navy right out of high school, had two overseas deployments and a spotless record. C.O. called him a bright and hardworking man. Assigned to the Hagen destroyer in 2010. Adams was one of 215 sailors off the ship last night for liberty. Tracking down others who may have been with him, but we do have this. He called someone named Meredith Bilson five times in five hours. The last call came in at 4:34 a.m.. That's an hour before his death. Location? Apartment manager at her last known address says she hasn't lived there in three months. Keep looking. What else? Checking account shows one charge last night at Sposare's Pizza in Baltimore just before 3:00 a.m. Pizza and beer-- that's a hell of a last meal, right, bo...? Go. Boss, we may have a situation. That was the ship's commander. All 215 sailors reported back for duty this morning. All except Petty Officer Adams and this man... 21-year-old Petty Officer Brian Smith, from Virginia. Maybe a second victim? Or maybe involved. No way to know that yet. Figure it out. Go on. Hey, I'm just grateful for this time of year. Liberty Week, the sales almost double my regular day. But you do not remember ever seeing Petty Officer Adams this morning? No. It's a real shame about that kid, but no. I-I never saw him. I mean, look around. Not exactly easy telling 'em apart, you know. I think it was Mae West who said, "You've seen one sailor's anchor, you've seen 'em all." No, I just kind of meant that it gets hectic in here. You know, all of 'em in here at once. A bunch of 'em all yelling for service. Anyone get out of control, start a fight? Oh, no, nothing like that. No, no, these are all good kids. I-I never had any trouble. Are you guys here about Caleb? I'm Seaman Robert Epplund. We were on the Hagen together. You knew Petty Officer Adams? We were friends, yeah. I just found out what happened. I can't believe it. He was doing fine when I saw him last night. What time was that? Uh, like, 11:00 or so. His crew was the first section off for liberty, we were the second. He was in a great mood. He was going to see his girlfriend. Like, totally in love with her. He kept saying she was the one. "The One's" name wouldn't happen to be Meredith Bilson, would it? Yeah, that's her. Does she know? We'll stay in touch. Thank you. Thanks. The director has always been very protective of his family. That should come as no surprise. No, it's not just that. It's something else. Can't put my finger on it. And you're worrying that whatever "it" is may prevent the director from seeking the truth? It's not him, Duck. It's me. Family or not. I gotta do my job. Do you have news, Dr. Mallard? I was just about to brief Agent Gibbs. Good. Let's hear it. Well, as suspected, Petty Officer Adams' death was caused by a single stab wound. The knife perforated his spleen and stomach, resulting in massive internal bleeding. The angle of the blade suggests that he was attacked from the front, straight on. He was face-to-face with his killer. So, maybe he knew the person. They were familiar. Not necessarily. Prints that we managed to lift from the body are being analyzed as we speak. Was there anything unique about the weapon? Not that I could see. No, the-the edges of the wound were precise and clean, with no evidence of a serrated blade. But Ms. Sciuto is performing further tests on the tissue. What about the bruises, Duck? Ah, they're informative, actually. They had begun to change color, and that tells me that the fight occurred several hours before his death. So he fought with someone other than his killer? It's possible. It's also possible that the... Killer came back to finish the job. Thank you. Michael didn't do it, Gibbs. I never said he did. And despite my ties to him, I won't try and sway this investigation. I never said that, either. Oh. Hey, honey. Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't call you back. No, I don't think I'm gonna make it home for dinner. Looks like it's gonna be a late one here tonight. Yeah. No, no, everything's fine. Just a lot going on, back-to-back meetings. Yeah. I love you, too. It's complicated. Family, Leon. Always is. So, you think my chattiness is annoying? I think you asking me about your chattiness non-stop for the past 20 minutes is annoying, yes. Want to know who else thought my chattiness was annoying? Wendy. She said it made me sound nervous and insecure. - Like that's even possible. - Stop it, Tony. It was one little comment Gibbs made, okay? Nothing more. And as for Wendy, I believe you were right to turn the book on that relationship. Turn the page, close the book, but... yeah, I guess I was. Oh. Meredith Bilson? Who are you? Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. This is Agent David. NCIS. We need to talk to you about your boyfriend, Petty Officer Caleb Adams. Is s-something wrong? May we come in? Uh, uh, I'm... I'm sorry. I can't right now. Hey, Meredith. Petty Officer Brian Smith? Yeah. There's a whole ship full of people looking for you. May want to put a shirt on. You're coming with us. Stay with her. Stop! - Look out! - Whoa! I said stop! Hey! I know a dead guy with bruises just like yours. Look at it. Oh, is that a little tough to look at? Here, how about this one? Maybe a closer shot. I didn't do that. It wasn't me. Says the guy who just ran two blocks to get away. I can explain everything, all right? Oh, you can? ! Well, thank goodness for that. 'Cause finding you in the dead guy's girlfriend's apartment with your pants around your ankles doesn't exactly scream innocent. In my business, it's called motive. Think I killed him for Meredith? People kill for a lot less. I woke up around 6:00, and Brian was pounding on my door. Said he and Caleb got into a fight. Was that fight was about you? I didn't want to tell Caleb over the phone, but... he called right after he got off the ship, and he wanted to come over, and I said no. What time was that? Just after 11:30, I think. I told him I was sorry. I didn't mean to hurt him, but I couldn't help how I felt. I told him I was in love with Brian. And he... lost it. Next thing I know, Caleb's dragging me behind some store. Starts pounding on me. I fought back for a little bit, and finally, I pushed him off me, then I ran. Never saw him again. Then where'd you go? Walked around for a while, cleared my head. Got to Meredith's around 6:00. That was seven hours after the fight. You just walked around clearing your head? Caleb was my best friend, all right? I would never hurt him. We grew up together, went fishing every weekend. We were practically brothers. Look, I know I'm a bad person for betraying Caleb that way. But I didn't kill him. The last time Caleb called he was rambling. Saying that he was gonna win me back, buy me a ring. He sounded so out of it. He was slurring like he'd been drinking. Caleb hardly ever drank. And that was the last time you spoke? I can't believe I'm never gonna hear his voice again. Meredith, look at me. Do you think Brian killed Caleb? No, of course not. But... I washed it. What? Brian's shirt. There was a lot of blood. I asked him if it was from the fight. He wouldn't answer me. I got scared. He was acting so crazy. I didn't know what to do. I washed it. I'm so sorry. Doesn't look good for our shirtless wonder. His alibi is definitely shaky, but we also cannot ignore the fact that she washed his bloody shirt. - Ah, to be young and in love. - Huh! McGee, any surveillance video from near the crime scene yet? No, but I got something else. Come here. It's about Michael Thomas, and it's not good. As if Gibbs isn't in a tough enough place with the director. Turns out that Michael has a record. As a juvenile. I got a hit on a charge in Maryland from 1996. - Records were sealed. - Come on. Let's not panic, okay? Kids do stupid stuff. May not mean anything. Well, it depends on the charge. Assault with a deadly weapon. Ugh. Well, that goes beyond stupid. Agent Gibbs. Is Leon coming, too? Assault with a deadly weapon. You left that one out the last we talked. Uh, well, I was... I was just... just a dumb kid who-who didn't know any better. I mean, it wasn't that big of a deal. You put someone in the hospital. I'd-I'd say that was a big deal. What's this got to do with anything? One: you lied to me. Two: you have the potential for violence. Yeah, when I was 14 years old. Look, I-I admit, I had some tough times as a kid, you know? And-And I made a mistake. I lashed out. But I learned from it, and I moved on. It never happened again. What else don't I know? I told you everything, Agent Gibbs. I didn't do this! Why can't you just accept that? Because a young man is dead, and I can't accept anything yet. All right, that's enough. Michael, don't say another word. You should be focusing your energy on real evidence, real suspects. Michael is a suspect. The only person you need to be worried about is Petty Officer Brian Smith. UA after the crime, fight with the victim... I thought you were gonna steer clear and let me do my job. Well, maybe I'm not satisfied with the job you're doing, Gibbs. It's not about me, and you know that. I'm not just gonna stand by and let you grill him about something that happened 16 years ago. He lied to me, Leon. What's more important is, you let him. That's not true. His records were sealed. It still matters. I told you, it was complicated. More than complicated. Why the kid gloves? Stand down. Michael was eight when Jackie and I met. Both parents passed away. Kid was struggling. I filled a void. I tried to steer him right. Leon, it's tough taking things like that on. Yeah, and it wasn't always easy. But I got him into private school, I got him into counseling. He was lost for a long time, Gibbs, and now he's finally finding his way. The last thing he needs is people giving up on him. - People like you. - Yeah. I've come a long way with him. I'm not about to give up on him now. Gibbs. Yeah, Abby, I'm on my way. Talk to me, Abbs. Hi-- wow. Director Vance, what a surprise. I mean, not like a surprise. I mean, I know you have a special interest in this case because y-your family member is involved. No, that, that is not what I meant. I-I am sure that your brother-in-law isn't involved. in anything at, at all. Ms. Sciuto, just proceed as if this were any other case. Of course. Yes, sir. So we know that the killer struck Petty Officer Adams hard and fast. The wound is four inches in length and five inches in depth. The knife was stuck in once, to the abdomen. The killer thrust it in deep and then tilted it up and pulled it out. What's the weapon? A five-inch boning knife like this one here. It's the favorite of avid fishermen everywhere. The wound pattern matches the blade's design, but that's not all that matches. The only prints on the body belong to none other than... Petty Officer Brian Smith. You have your guy. That's a good thing, right? Hey, DiNozzo, search Petty Officer Smith's belongings. Weapon's a fishing knife. I want Michael released into my custody. Need to keep him close, Leon. I'm taking him home tonight. Hey, Dad. All right, kids, that's enough of that for now. Somebody here wants to say hello. Hey. Uncle Michael! What's up, man? Ah, ah... Wow, my favorite little kids are not so little anymore. Are you staying long this time? He's not staying. Kayla, Jared, go get ready for bed. I'll be there in a minute. I want him out of my house now. The only time you ever go over my head is because of Michael. Jackie, calm down. What problem are you bailing him out of now? It was a misunderstanding. Always is. He was trying to do the right thing, he ended up a murder suspect. A murder suspect? We have the killer in custody, Jackie. He didn't do it. Of course he didn't, but how does he get in these messes in the first place? And with you dragged into it? - This is different. - Is it? I mean, his whole life has been one bad decision after another, always knowing that you're gonna be there to save the day. People change. Leon, you have fathered him long enough. When are you gonna let him stand up on his own two feet? He's getting ready to open a repair shop, Jackie. His repair shop. And two years ago he was going to finish college. A year before that, he was, he was selling that, that, that miracle drink. Well, at least he's trying, Jackie. He's come a long way from where he was. You do not need to remind me where he was. You know that I love him and I always will, and I had to let him go and I ju... I just wish you would, too, you know? Hey. I don't know why I had to be married to such a good man. Who I'm still mad at. He'll just stay the night, Jackie. And he's out by morning. Yes. Abbs? Abby. Gibbs, oh. Sorry I woke you. I woke you. I woke you first when I called you. You spent the night here? Yeah, Tony found the knife in question in Petty Officer Smith's seabag, and I kind of got on a roll testing it, and the next thing I knew, the sun was coming up. Was it worth it? Totally. I mean, even with my little windows, the light was just gorgeous. Abbs, I haven't had my coffee yet. Ooh, all right. The knife. So it tested positive for blood but in the trout family. These scales that are lodged in the handle suggest rainbow or steelhead. No blood from Adams. Means Petty Officer Smith wasn't our killer. But somebody is. You know, it's probably somebody that we don't even know yet. Or someone we do. Abbs, you stayed here overnight trying to clear Vance's brother-in-law? Well, the director is like family. I mean, you would want me to do the same for you. Tox results. Low doses of methaqualone-- downers, ludes, disco biscuits. Very retro but making a comeback. It was just enough to impair Petty Officer Adams' motor skills. I mean, these babies can increase your sex drive, but it also can cause drowsiness and slurred speech, low heart rate, vomiting... Ah, well, so much for the sex part. So the question is: who slipped it to him and where? Well, test everyone who was on liberty that night. Can I borrow McGee to help? Absolutely. And I swear, your grandma got these crazy eyes and took off after your mom like a cat chasing a mouse. Ooh, I can still see them eyes. Would Grandma have chased us, Mom? Yeah, she sure would have. Nah, she'd be spoiling you guys every chance she got. Right, Jack? Yes, Michael, she would have. Hey, thanks for letting me stay. Well, the kids miss seeing you. I miss them. Just gonna let the old man sleep through the party, huh? Uncle Mike's got great stories, Dad. - You finish your paper, son? - Yep. Nine whole pages, single-spaced. - Nice. - Uncle Mike fixed the dishwasher. Oh, just a loose valve. No big deal. Well, I appreciate that, Mr. Fix-It, but let's go. It's my day to drop the kids off at school. Can Uncle Mike come? Well, he's coming to work with me, so I guess that's the plan, if that's still the plan. Up to you. There are a few things around here that need repairing. All right, kids, go get your things for school. I'll be at the car. - Michael. - I call front seat! Come on! My turn, Jared! You got it yesterday! Now, you're released into my custody until this case is solved, Michael, so if I let you stay, you do understand you can't leave. Yeah, of course, I'll do whatever you want. That's the least I owe you. And, listen, I'm, uh, I'm sorry again for putting you through this. After today, this is all behind us and you can get back to focusing on your repair shop. You find a space? Got a few I'm looking at. I'm gonna pay you back every dime, you know-- with interest. And free repairs for life. Hey, tell your man Gibbs I'll miss him. You lay off Special Agent Gibbs. This hasn't been easy on him either. Eh, I don't like the way he looks at me. He looks at everybody like that. Where is he, Leon? According to my morning brief, you recovered a knife from the suspect. It came back negative; it's not our weapon. Then what next? Could Michael be a flight risk? He's at my house with his sister. He's not about to fly anywhere. Agents David, DiNozzo, anything? Abby found drugs in Petty Officer Adams' system that probably impaired him before he died. Abby and McGee are currently testing sailors to see if... There they are. Video conference. Ziva, put it up. Hi, Ziva, I... Whoa, hi, everybody. What's the latest? Out of 215 sailors on shore leave, three of them tested positive for some kind of sedative. It's too soon to know if it was the same drug, but if I was a betting' man... Interview them there, find out if any of them were with Adams before he died. On it, boss. Over and out. I love to say that. All right, keep me in the loop. Like I could keep you out of it, Leon? I was in this bar, you know, having fun but thinking about where to hit next. A bunch of guys were heading to this... you know, gentlemen's club across town. Go on. Well, then we, we hear this guy bragging about how he just won a ton of cash playing blackjack. I've never been to Vegas, much less a casino, so I figured, what the hell? Let's make it rain. Bad idea, huh? I lost every dime of liberty pay inside an hour. - Who was this guy? - Who knows? Actually, I heard it from a friend who heard it from somebody else. The night was a blur. I swear that's the last time I ever gamble this messed up. Where was this casino? It wasn't a casino, it was a crappy little game in the back of a-a pizza place. Hey, hey! NCIS is back. How many slices can I get you gentlemen? Where's the game? Whoa, you can't go back there. NCIS. Do not move. Okay, look, I admit to hosting the game, but it was all in good fun. I mean, all this nonsense about drugging anybody-- that's just crazy. Found this in the cabinet next to the oregano. Try again. All right, what can I say? I'm not proud. But times are tough. I mean, who doesn't need a little extra cash? Cash off the backs of young sailors, serving their country, on liberty, in a crooked game? Hey, the game itself is not crooked. We deal straight. They're ain't no sleight of hand here. Just a little shot of this crap to give you the edge. What? They don't comp drinks in Vegas? You're not Vegas, Marty! This is a drug. It's not a drink. This kid died playing your game. Oh, no. No way! One of these pills-- it'll make you woozy, but it never killed anybody. Never. Tell me about that night. Ah, kid was breaking our hearts, telling us about his girlfriend dumping him. You know, saying how much he had to win in order to buy her an engagement ring. We kept saying that he should just forget about her, but, no, he just kept playing. Until you stole all his money. I thought about giving some of it back. Yeah. That's right. But then, that kid-- he just went nuts. Flipped the table over, and he just ran out. - Where? - How should I know? Hate to break Rule 22, boss, but his lawyer's here. Then I'm done talking. Oops. Got the same story from the blackjack dealer. If what he says is even half true, Petty Officer Adams could have left that game and picked a fight with the first person that he saw. Could be anyone. Thoughts? Well, with no security cameras at the pizzeria, Ziva and McGee are checking neighboring stores. Ye, I know that. I asked you your thoughts, DiNozzo. My thoughts? I thought you didn't like my process, my yabba yabba. Doesn't mean I don't depend on it. Oh. Well, in that case, the pizza guys are slimeballs. Thin crust beats deep dish every time. And every suspect in this case has an answer for everything, but one of them's got to be lying. - Yeah? Which one? - I don't know. It's gonna take a little more yabba yabba. Good. Go help Ziva and McGee. I gotta see a lady about a card game. Anything, Abbs? Four decks scanned, two to go. Naturally, there's no shortage of fingerprints. - I.D.'s? - Mostly sailors. And the blackjack dealer. Of course. He touched every card. You know, it would help to know if I was looking for someone specifically. Yeah. Just keep looking. That the best you got, McGee? Well, the only surveillance of the pizzeria was from a rooftop across the street. Lucky us, all the video files were corrupted. But we believe this is Petty Officer Adams, based on the time he is seen leaving the pizzeria and the direction he is headed. Anyone else? There's this man. Left a few frames before. Who is he? Well, we still don't have a clear shot of his face yet, Director. Wait-- in the window-- is that a reflection? Enhance it, McGee. He appears to be a civilian. Sailor said a guy bragged to him about winning money. A ton of it, only, he was too impaired to remember who it was. But the game was rigged, so no one could have won a ton of money. And that would make that winner a shill. Somebody's who's in on the con, lying to recruit players. It's as good as it gets, boss. Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs! Director. Abbs. What? I got a hit on the prints. The person... is in NCIS custody. Leon! You're cheating... How do you brake? Oh, man, I know that look. Hey, homework starts as soon as they're done kicking my butt, Pops. Babe, I didn't see the harm. Dinner's almost ready. You and the kids get started without us. Come on, come on. Come on, come on. Uh... It was my fault, not theirs, you know. I-I pushed them into playing. Yeah, you're good at that. Why did you do it? The card game. The kid you found dying in the street. - No. - How about not lying to me for once in your life? I was trying to get out from under. These guys-- they had my money. Whose money? The money for the... for the shop? The money you loaned me-- it wasn't enough. I thought maybe if I can double it, maybe triple it... Behind a pizza place. Well, small outfit like that, man, I couldn't believe I lost it all. I couldn't ask you for more, so they made me a deal. Bring some fresh meat to the table, and I can get you your money back. Why? Michael, why? You were doing so good. I tried to make it right, Leon. On my own two feet. But watching that poor kid lose his last dime... I couldn't take it. I got out of there. And he came after you. Yeah, he blamed me for, uh, bringing him into the game. the muck of machinery, but, no. Basically, the personality of the TARDIS got transferred into a kind of hot, scruffy, Helena-Bonham-Carter- type woman. I'm alive. I was very happy when the TARDIS turned out to have such an elegant, demure voice and personality, you know, how the TARDIS, you know, sounded like a London taxi driver -- "I'm not going to metebelis, no, and I'm not going there at that time." He really realized how alive the TARDIS is. Because he always goes like "she's alive," but when you see a person be alive, it's easier to understand, than, like, a telephone booth with infinite rooms. You never read the instructions. I always read the instructions! There's a sign on my front door. You have been walking past it for 700 years -- what does it say? That's not instructions! The relationship between the Doctor and Idris, who was the TARDIS, is kind of interesting because it is a love story, but it goes past anything sort of physical, it's a love story that is like just they're bonded throughout time. You are not my mother. And you are not my child. You know, since we're talking, with mouths -- not really an opportunity that comes along very often -- I just want to say, you know, you have never been very reliable. And you have? You didn't always take me where I wanted to go. No, but I always took you where you needed to go. You did. Look at us, talking! Wouldn't it be amazing, if we could always talk, even when you're stuck inside the box? You know I'm not constructed that way. I exist across all space and time and you talk and run around and bring home strays. I do really feel like they're soulmates. They're best friends, they're siblings, they're family. They can't live without each other. You can't have one without the other. In the top 3 saddest moments of "Doctor Who" was when the TARDIS had to go back to being a TARDIS. She just wanted to say "Hello." I'm alive. "Alive" isn't sad. It's sad when it's over. I'll always be here, but this is when we talked and, now, even that has come to an end. There's something I didn't get to say to you. Goodbye. No. I just wanted to say hello. Hello, Doctor. Doctor. It's so very, very nice to meet you. Please, I don't want you to. Please. It's very emotional when she says "There's something I --" Oh, God, I can't even say it. "There's something I've always wanted to say to you." And he assumes it's goodbye and it's the opposite. They've spent so many years together. She never just got to say hello. But, you know, they're still going to be together throughout time. I was worried, when I heard about what the episode was going to be, that it would get it wrong and that would annoy me because that's not the way I would envision such a thing. And it's not what I would envision, it's better. It was like a buddy-cop movie across the Universe. You're just a long streak of nothing. Amy Pond is a groupie. But you're human! The Doctor has very firm views on who can go onboard the TARDIS and it's pretty clear, what they have to be. They have to be -- obviously, brave and they have to be clever -- he's bored by stupid people and a coward would last two minutes in there. I hated Donna Noble when I first met her. This obnoxious redheaded woman, and Donna turned out to be one of the best companions, if not the best companion of the reboot. She won't take any of his usual schtick and she can give as good as he can get, so the relationship's more fun to watch. It was like a buddy-cop movie like where they're going across, you know, the Universe. It was different from the other companions. And you get this scene where they're both kind of stuck. She's great at vaudeville and that's what this moment is, it's classic comedy. They both have such strong comedy backgrounds. I think the chemistry between those two was probably my favorite. Are we interrupting you? I love the way that, you know, Donna would always go like that and shake her fist. She was more challenging, I think, for the Doctor and that was a great opportunity to write some very sparkling and very, very funny stuff. The scene where they have the confusion about, you know, "I want to mate"/ "I want a mate" is fantastic. I just want a mate. You just want to mate? ! I just want a mate. You're not mating with me, sunshine! A mate, I want a mate. Well, just as well, because I'm not having any of that nonsense. I mean, you're just a long streak of nothing, you know, alien nothing. There we are, then. Okay. I think the pair of them together were pretty amazing. It proves that you don't need to have romantic tension to have a male and a female character with a dynamic relationship. Oh, ha ha! That's just -- car keys. What? I've still got my mum's car keys. I won't be a minute. Donna's end, as a companion, broke my house. My wife and I were just inconsolable. She basically becomes a Time Lord herself, but, because she's physically human, she can't handle it and her brain's going to burn and the Doctor has to wipe her memory of everything they've done together. Don't make me go back. Doctor, please, please, don't make me go back! Donna. Oh, Donna Noble, I am so sorry. But we had the best of times. The best. Goodbye. No, no, no, please. Please, no, no. No! No! She was a receptionist. All she ever wanted was to have adventures and have an interesting life and she got that and she'll never know. On many occasions, he says, you know, "I've ruined people's lives." He does. He takes them on these amazing journeys, but they always suffer, they always pay the price, at the end. She does get a lottery ticket, in the end, which I guess is cool, but can it buy, you know, a trip to, you know, some distant world? No. The episode where Sarah Jane came back into "Doctor Who" was a very emotional moment for me because I remember Sarah so well. She was part of "Doctor Who" legend. I think it was around about her time when you heard less of the term "assistant" and it went more to "companion." She was really a different kind of companion. She was a reporter, she was hardnosed, she actually, you know, she could do stuff. She and the Doctor had a chemistry in the '70s that the show had not seen before, or since. I mean, she's generally though of as the best companion, ever. When Sarah Jane Smith came back, I think, for me, that was probably the most emotional "Doctor Who" moment that I have ever seen. Hello, Sarah Jane. It's you. Oh. Doctor. Oh, my God, it's you, it's -- it's -- you've regenerated. Yeah, half a dozen times, since we last met. You look... Incredible. So do you. Hmm. I got old. That moment when she sees David's door and recognizes him and knows him for who he is, with all those years of history between them was a pretty amazing bit of television history. I thought you'd died -- I waited for you, you didn't come back, and I thought you must've died. I lived. Everyone else died. What do you mean? Everyone died, Sarah. I can't believe it's you. I thought it was brilliantly done, brilliantly made, brilliantly written. I was like "how incredible is this!" Because she has a completely different regeneration of the Doctor, first off, but she still knew it was him. And what is lovely about that bond -- it's not a kind of sexual magnetism, it's a genuine, eternal, loving bond. Sarah Jane and Rose come face-to-face and Rose realizes that Sarah Jane was kind of one of his first companions and Rose is just one in a long line. I always sort of wanted, you know, Sarah Jane and Rose to sort of be friends instantly, you know, but of course not. Rose, can I give you a bit of advice? I've got a feeling you're about to. I know how intense a relationship with the Doctor can be, and I don't want you to feel I'm intruding -- I don't feel threatened by you, if that's what you mean. Right, good, because I'm not interested in picking up where we left off. No? With the big sad eyes and the robot dog -- what else were you doing last night? I was just saying how hard it was -- We got the older, smart woman and we got the younger, like, superhot kind of -- also smart woman facing off against each other. There was definitely some tension. I had no problem with space stuff. I saw things you wouldn't believe. Try me. Mummies. I've met ghosts. Robots. Lots of robots. Slitheen. In Downing Street. Daleks! Met the emperor. Antimatter monsters. Gasmasked zombies. Real living dinosaurs! Real living werewolf! The Loch Ness monster! Seriously? Oh! Listen to us. It's like me and my mate Shareen. The only time we fell out was over a man, and -- we're arguing over the Doctor. It was great because you would imagine that would happen, of who's seen the most, who's done the most, who's been there the most, and i.e. who was more important to the Doctor. There's this moment where they realize they're united in how special they are, for having had those experiences and they start laughing quite madly. Once they're past that territorial stage, they do then become great friends and I thought "all right, that's good. "That's how I wanted it to be! Good! Glad we got there." River Song is better at operating the TARDIS than the Doctor is. I just landed her. She's unpredictable. Moisturize me. I think that "Doctor Who's" one of the very few programs that writes brilliantly, gives excellent parts for female characters. They're not just screaming women, they're not just like they used to be, it's not a cliché, it's not sexist anymore, at all. In fact, the parts for women are better than the parts for men, a lot of the time. River Song is beautiful, glamorous. I think she's unpredictable and you don't know what she's going to do next and the fact she's a murderer and the fact she's good, but bad. You always - - I like a character like that. River Song is basically the female Indiana Jones. She is so awesome and badass. She's smart; She's human, but not quite. And she doesn't let him get away with anything. She was his wife when he met her. They're the blue stabilizers. Ugh! See? Yeah, well, it's just boring now, isn't it? They're boringers. They're blue... Boringers. Doctor, how come she can fly the TARDIS? You call that flying the TARDIS? Ha! River Song is better at operating the TARDIS than the Doctor is and, for the first time, you see the Doctor actually being quite put out by that. Charted the ship to its destination and... Parked us right alongside. "Parked" us? You haven't landed. Of course we've landed. I just landed her. But... It didn't make the noise. What noise? You know, the -- It's not supposed to make that noise -- you leave the brakes on. Yeah, well, it's a brilliant noise. I love that noise. I like that the classic noise that we all associate with the TARDIS, the fact that my ringtone is that noise, turns out that it's a mistake. I imagine that that was just a nice little Steven Moffat gem for people who have watched the show for so long. [ Wheeze What's great about river is that she's this mysterious character and, generally, when the mystery is taken away from a character, they become less interesting. River becomes more interesting. A lovely twist is when River Song is about to be shot by Amy Pond and, suddenly, River Song says, "I'm doing this because I am your daughter" and there's this wonderful moment of recognition. No, I still can't read it. It's because it's Gallifreyan and doesn't translate. But this will. It's your daughter's name, in the language of the forest. I know my daughter's name. Except, they don't have a word for "Pond," because the only water in the forest is the river. The Doctor will find your daughter and he will care for her, whatever it takes, and I know that. It's me. I'm Melody. I'm your daughter. That reveal was another Moffat moment that I got at the exact instant he wanted. Holy crap. This whole time, really? The whole time. Once you see it, you're like "of course! Like Melody, Song; Pond, River" and you feel like such an idiot. It was a good little surprise, there, Steven Moffat. It makes perfect sense now. Makes perfect sense. The Lady Cassandra is the last human, self-described. At this point, she doesn't look anything like a human. She's had so many plastic surgeries that she's literally just a sheet of skin, with eyes and a mouth and nose holes. Because she had her chin removed because she said it made her look fat. She's not unlike women I've met. I lived in Hollywood for eight years. There's this wonderful scene where all these dignitaries from around the Universe are coming together, they're converging to see the death of planet Earth. And then, they wheel out a tarp of skin named Lady Cassandra, the last human to ever be alive. The Lady Cassandra O'Brien.Delta17. Oh, now, don't stare. I know, I know, it's shocking, isn't it? I've had my chin completely taken away, and look at the difference. Look how thin I am. Thin and dainty. I don't look a day over 2000. Moisturize me, moisturize me. Truly, I am the last human. My father was a Texan. My mother was from -- She has been stretched so far that she is literally like a pinned piece of leather, drying out. You know what? They sometimes bring up the concept "if you were the last woman on Earth." Even if she was the last human on Earth, I don't know what I would be able to do with her. No tears. I'm sorry. And she arrives with all these medical staff who have to spray her and keep her moist. If someone's not there to spray water on her, she dries up and cracks and explodes into, like, dust particles, which is disgusting. Moisturize me. She's really, really proud of being the last human and sort of raises all these issues about what it actually means, to be human. There is something, a good science fiction quirk of like, you know, the last human in the Universe and she's just not human anymore, right? And she's rendered inhuman physically, but also because she's a villain, she's a horrible thing. Lady Cassandra tries to basically destroy the platform and all the inhabitants in it and, because of her bad move, the Doctor just lets her dry out -- no Dove moisturizer for her -- and then she starts drying out so much that she just explodes. Pretty gruesomely, too. People have died, Cassandra. You murdered them. It depends on your definition of "people," and that's enough of a technicality to keep your lawyers dizzy for centuries. Take me to court, then, Doctor, and watch me smile and cry and flutter. And creak? And what? "Creak." You're creaking. What? Ah! I-I'm drying out. Oh, sweet heavens. Moisturize me! Moisturize me! Where are my surgeons? My lovely boys! It's too hot! You raised the temperature. Have pity. Moisturize me! Oh, oh, Doctor! Help her. Everything has its time and everything dies. I'm...too... young. And I love how the Doctor's so callous with her. Like when Rose is like "Aren't you going to save her?" And he's just like "Everything has an end." Poof! "Aah!" Bits of liver flying out. Eccleston, as the Doctor, just kills her, you know? Like, he doesn't have any problem with saying this is justice -- she has to die for being bad guy. The way that he deals with her, versus the way that the tenth Doctor will later deal with her really kind of speaks volumes about the difference between the two of them. They just create fully grown human beings out of tissue samples. Hello, Dad. You just get the sense that you shouldn't mess with her. That was two years ago! The thing that I think is great about "Doctor Who" is that, over the years, the women have always been really smart, you know? They've never been horrible depictions of femininity, they've always been really strong. In this 2-part episode, "Human Nature" and "The Family of Blood," the Doctor has to take on human form and not realize that he's the Doctor and, of course, he falls in love with this incredible woman called Joan Redfern. Joan, lovely Joan. What I like about her -- she's just a very normal lady and someone who's quite sensitive. "Joan." Joan? That's my name. Well, obviously. Everything has to be done in the right way. She doesn't want to be seen to be being unseemly. I thinks he's so sympathetic and she's so beautiful, like, there's so much humanity to that portrayal. Joan is a perfect woman for him, if he's not a Time Lord. Unfortunately, he is. Truth be told, when it's just you and me, I'd much rather you called me "Nurse Redfern." "Matron" sounds rather, well, matronly. Ah -- ah, "Nurse Redfern" it is, then. Though, we've known each other all of two months, you could even say "Joan." Joan? That's my name. Well, obviously. The cool thing about when the Doctor was with Joan is that he was just completely human and we finally get to see what the Doctor would be like, if he wasn't a charming, all-knowing, all-adventure-all- the-time kind of guy. And, it turns out, he's just a bumbling nerd. Well, I should imagine that you'd be, um -- I mean, I never thought you'd be one for -- I mean, there's no reason why you shouldn't. If you do -- you may not -- I -- I probably won't. But even if I did, then I couldn't -- um, I mean, I wouldn't want to -- The stairs. What about the stairs? They're right behind you. Ooh! Without the Time Lord knowledge, our Doctor is very insecure and Joan Redfern kind of coaxes it out of him. And you can see that, for the first time, the Doctor is falling in love as a human being and he falls in love with her. But when the Doctor became the Doctor again, Joan was like "I don't want any of that" because it wasn't the same person. I can't. Please come with me. I can't. Why not? John Smith is dead, and you look like him. But he's here, inside, if you look in my eyes. Answer me this -- just one question, that's all -- if the Doctor had never visited us, if he'd never chosen this place, on a whim... would anyone here have died? Why can't she come with him? Well, because she doesn't want to marry an alien being, she wants this nice teacher guy. All right. Yeah, he can't have everything. Sorry, Mr. Magic. She decides not to go with him because she liked the man who he was before. She says no. She's like "because you're not "the guy I fell in love with. "You are someone who selfishly landed here "and got people killed and that is not the man I fell in love with." So, once again, we have a woman refusing the Doctor, which is very rare. "The Doctor's Daughter" is Jenny and she pops up almost literally out of nowhere. The Doctor shows up on this planet and they take a tissue sample and, suddenly, there she is, full-grown. - What's going on? - Leave him alone! They stick his hand in this weird -- I don't know, contraption and, while he's going through it, he's explaining to us that, like, "oh! It's taking a tissue sample." Ow! And extrapolated it. Some kind of accelerator? Agh! Are you all right? I don't know. That's just -- and then, all of a sudden, this, like, gorgeous 16-year-old girl walks out of this unit and he's like "Oh! That's my daughter." Arm yourself. Where did she come from? From me. From you? How? Who is she? Well, she's -- well... She's my daughter. Hello, Dad. They just create fully grown human beings out of tissue samples from other people, which is weird. Now he's a father, which is a great way to have a kid. All those years, he didn't have to not sleep because the kid was up, crying, or having to go to school because of chickenpox. Hello, Dad. In the same way that Jenny came out of nowhere, at the end of the episode, she kind of awesomely goes into nowhere. It's very sad. The Doctor gets a clone and so then there's another Time Lord and you think about the potential for adventures and everything that he could've taught her and shown her and then it's snatched away so quickly. Jenny, be strong, now. You need to hold on. Do you hear me? We've got things to do, you and me, eh? Eh? We can go anywhere. Everywhere. You choose. That sounds good. In kind of a real-life "Doctor Who" episode, Georgia Moffett, who plays Jenny, is the daughter of Peter Davison, who's the fifth Doctor; and she's the wife of David Tennant, who is the tenth Doctor. So it's this kind of amazing meeting of real life and the fiction of "Doctor Who." There's so much weird sort of "Doctor Who" looping going on with that that it's -- he married his own daughter... He married his own daughter. But I'm fine with it. It is all wrapped up in timey-wimey in real life. Yeah, I -- it's a conundrum. Amy Pond was supersexy and feisty. She states what she wants and goes for it. I really wasn't suggesting anything quite so... long-term. I think what the show does a really great job of is not having the women just sort of be these passive accessories to the male lead of the show. They're always very strong women, in their own way. Amy Pond was the first companion since Rose to just be like supersexy and hot and feisty and crazy. I love the fact that she's got this edge to her that's really, like, kickarse, like, she's really -- like, you just get the sense that you shouldn't mess with her. Amy's interesting because she's the first companion we meet as a child. He showed up when she was a kid, said, "Oh, come with me," she said okay, and then he ditched her for 12 years And then ditched her again for 2 years. All that stuff that happened -- the hospital, the spaceships, Prisoner Zero -- Oh, don't worry, that's just the beginning, there's loads more. Yeah, but those things, those amazing things, all that stuff. That was two years ago! Ohh... Oops. Yeah. So that's -- 14 years! 14 years since fish custard. Amy Pond, the girl who waited, you've waited long enough. When I was a kid, you said there was a swimming pool. She's been waiting all her life for him and so, when, finally, the opportunity comes up, she jumps at it. And then waits another two years and jumps at it again. There's something weird about her, that she wants to stick with that guy. The previous companions for the Doctor have been a lover, they've been a friend, they've been an admirer, and Amy Pond is a groupie, she's a fan. She's been a fan of the Doctor since she was a kid. And people thought she was crazy for her whole adult life because she keeps talking about this guy who's clearly a made-up, imaginary, friend. That's the most interesting setup for a companion that they've ever had, I think, having her have an imaginary friend all her life who then comes to life, essentially. That's the magic of that show. Amy's one of those great, great characters whereby she doesn't need to be rescued by the Doctor all the time. Amy Pond is nothing, if not strong-willed and willing to make her own choices, regardless of what anyone else says. She just states what she wants and goes for it. So when she wants to be with the Doctor, she hits on him. She tries to get the Doctor. And not even in, like, an "I love you, Doctor, let's get married," just in a "come on, I got one night left, let's do it." About who... I want. Oh, right, yeah. No, still not getting it. Doctor, in a word, in one, very simple word even you can understand -- No! You're getting married in the morning! Well, the morning's a long time away. What are we going to do about that? Amy, listen to me -- i am 907 years old. Do you understand what that means? It's been a while? Yeah. No, no, no! I'm 907, and look at me! I don't get older, I just change. You get older, I don't, and this can't ever work. Oh! Aw, you are sweet, Doctor, but I really wasn't suggesting anything quite so... long-term. But you're human! You're Amy! You're getting married in the morning! In the morning. Doctor? She is getting married to one of the sweetest, nicest guys in the world the next day and she's coming on to an alien. That's not cool. That's not cool at all. I was very excited about that scene, just because why not get a jump on the Doctor, see what that's like, before you get married? Although the Doctor is always very sexy, you kind of never really think of him that way, so when Amy actually jumped him, I was like "this is inappropriate, Amy. "What are you doing? It's the Doctor," you know? Of course, the other half of my brain was extremely jealous. In the modern era, "Doctor Who" has been an interesting show for female characters. I'm your daughter. These people end up solving things and outsmarting the Doctor and helping the Doctor. But I always took you where you needed to go. They have their vulnerabilities. I love you. And, perhaps, it's because of those vulnerabilities that Doctor Who can experience human emotions a bit more. Oh, Donna Noble, I am so sorry. I think it's a really good thing this show has done throughout time, for female characters on TV. == sync, corrected by elderman == NARRATOR: Previously on Once Upon A Time... Killing me is going to take a lot more than that, dearie. - Hook. - Captain Hook? SNOW: We destroyed the wardrobe. CORA: No! SNOW: We should start searching for a new portal back to Storybrooke. HOOK: There's an enchanted compass. Cora seeks it. It's not the climb you need to worry about. It's the giant at the top. REGINA: Your longest stint anywhere was two years. What did you enjoy so much about Tallahassee? HENRY: It's poisoned. EMMA: I love you, Henry. HENRY: You saved me. It's a little freakier than I remember from the story. It reminds me of death. Encouraging. Well, your compass awaits. Shall we? Wait. If these beans create...portals, why not just pick one and go home? Why the compass? HOOK: Because there aren't any more beans. Whatever story you think you know, my dear, is most certainly wrong. There was a guy named Jack and a cow, and something about evil giants with a treasure and a golden goose. Or harp. Sounds like a lovely tale. But the truth's a little bit more gruesome. The giants grew the beans, but rather than use them for good, they used them to plunder all the lands. Jack and his men fought a terrible war, defeating all but one of the evil giants. The beans were destroyed by the giants as they died. If they couldn't have the magic, then nobody could. Certainly very bad form. Evil giants who made magic portal beans. Why doesn't anyone just go up and grow some more? Because one giant survived. The strongest and most terrible of them all. Now we'll have to get past him to... The magic compass. Indeed. The treasure remains, and amongst it is the compass. Now it will guide us to your land. Cora has the means to open a portal with the wardrobe ashes, but she can't find your land without the compass. Once we get it, we steal the ashes from her, then we're on our way. How do we know you're not just using us to get the compass for Cora? Because you four are far safer company. All I need is a ride back, I'll swear allegiance to whomever gets me there first. EMMA: Then we better start climbing. Right, so, I failed to mention that the giant enchanted the beanstalk to repel intruders. All right, so how do we get up there? I've got a counter spell from Cora, if you'd be so kind. Thank you, my lady. (TINKLING) I've got one more of these. Cora was to accompany me. So, which one of you four lovelies shall take her place? Go on, fight it out. And don't be afraid to, you know, really get into it. (CAR HORNS IN THE DISTANCE) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) (CAR HORN HONKS) (DOOR SQUEAKS) (CLANKS) (ENGINE STARTS) - Impressive. - (GASPS) But really, you could've just asked me for the keys. Just drive. It's fine. I just stole your car. Your life could be in danger. Neal Cassidy. Yeah, I'm not telling you my name. I don't need it to have you arrested when the robbery is in progress. Emma Swan. Good name. So, do you just live in here, or are you just waiting for the car to be stolen? Why don't I tell you over drinks? Excuse me? - Hey, eyes on the road! - (HORN BLARES) I am not having drinks with you. You might be a pervert. I might be a pervert, but you're definitely a car thief. I said I was sorry. - You didn't, actually. - (SIREN WHOOPS) - Oh. - Damn it. That's why I said, "Eyes on the road!" Screwdriver. (GRUNTS) License and registration. Hi! Terribly sorry, officer, but it's actually my car. I'm trying to teach my girlfriend how to drive stick. She's got a lot to learn. I know. But, you know... Women. All right, I hear you. It's a warning...this time. Yeah. Thank you so much. What are you? Some sort of misogynist? You're welcome. Go, go, we got lucky. We? - This isn't your car either, is it? - Hmm? I stole a stolen car? Now how about that drink? - (SCOFFS) - (ENGINE STARTS) (BIRDS CHIRPING) All due respect, I am the best equipped to go. How many wars have you been through? - My share. - It should be me. You? You haven't fought in a battle. This is about us getting home to our loved ones. Why would you... I have no loved ones. If I fail, you can still go on. It's me. I'm going and I'm not going to fail. You're new here. It's about getting back to Henry. I don't care what I have to face. You're not gonna argue with me? Would it do any good? No. You got anything in that bag that's gonna help me with a giant? Or Hook? Hey! Come with me. This. Powder made from poppies. He has to inhale it. And your sword. How strong is it? The most powerful blade in all the realms. Is it strong enough to cut through that beanstalk? Indeed. Give me 10 hours. If I'm not back, you cut it down and keep going. Snow won't like that. That's why I'm asking you. If I don't get back, you get her home. HOOK: Ladies, in this world we are slaves to time, and ours is running out. In other words, tick-tock. (ZIPS SLEEVE) I was hoping it would be you. Just get on with it. Put your hand right here. That's a good girl. This will allow you to climb, but there are other dangers. Thankfully you've got me to protect you. I can't climb one-handed, can I? Don't think I'm taking my eyes off you for a second. I would despair if you did. Let's go. - (BIRD CALLING) - (WIND WHISTLING) (GRUNTS) (PANTING) First beanstalk? Well, you never forget your first. You know, most men would take your silence as off-putting, but I love a challenge. I'm concentrating. HOOK: No, you're afraid. Afraid to talk. To reveal yourself, to trust me. Things would be a lot smoother if you do. You should be used to people not trusting you. Ah, the pirate thing. Well, I don't need you to share. You're something of an open book. Am I? Quite. Let's see, you volunteered to come up here because you were the most motivated. You need to get back to a child. That's not perception, that's eavesdropping. Ah, but you don't want to abandon him the way you were abandoned. Was I? Like I said, open book. How would you know that? I spent many years in Neverland, home of the Lost Boys. And they all share the same look in their eyes. The look you get when you've been left alone. Yeah, well, my world ain't Neverland. But an orphan's an orphan. Love has been all too rare in your life, hasn't it? Have you ever even been in love? No. I have never been in love. - NEAL: I think this little guy is hungry. - (EMMA LAUGHS) Go ahead and get whatever you want, sweetie. I'm gonna get directions. I will. NEAL: Hey, man. - OWNER: How are you? - I've been better. Listen, my wife and I are really lost. We're trying to get to Eugene, and I think we've been going the wrong way. Can you show me what's going on here? Where are we, first of all? Okay, wait. Do I look like a tour guide? Why don't you buy the map, then I can help you. Okay. Okay, now. Your problem is... (MAP RUSTLES) ...is you're way up here, you see that? - (DOOR CHIME RINGS) - Oh, my God, that is a problem... Yeah. Now what you have to do is you have to take five all the way south toward Salem. That's right down there. You see that? - CUSTOMER: Hey! - NEAL: Okay. OWNER: That's where you go. Got it? CUSTOMER: Hey, mister, that guy's stealing... EMMA: Oh, God! Oh, God. - NEAL: Honey? - (EMMA PANTING, GROANING) I think... I think it's time! - He's ready? - Oh, yeah. - You didn't see him... - Oh, oh, it hurts really bad! - Do you guys need help? - No, mister, you didn't see... - Oh, my God! It hurts really bad. - Whoa! Okay, okay. You want me to call an ambulance? No, it's fine. My car's out front. - NEAL: I know. Breathe, baby. Breathe! - EMMA: Oh, God! NEAL: Let's go! Come on. EMMA: (OUTSIDE) Oh, God! You know, they were stealing. Little guy saved us. He sure did. The miracle of birth. NEAL: Wow. Good haul. Thanks. I got you a key chain. (SIGHS) You like it? Yeah! Okay, we gotta go. (EXHALES) (ENGINE REVVING) WOMAN: All right, come on, kids. Twenty minutes till housekeeping. - Here it is. - (EMMA SQUEALS) You wanna shower first? Oh, look, the granola family left this. What is that? It's a Native American dream catcher. It's supposed to keep all the nightmares out and only let the good dreams in to protect your home. - It's flypaper for nightmares? - Mm-hmm. Let's keep it. Yeah. Hang it where, the car? It's not much of a home. Maybe it's time we get a real place. Are you saying... NEAL: Why not? We've been on the road long enough. Maybe it's time to retire the Bonnie and Clyde act. Settle down, I think it's time. Together? Don't you wanna? Like where? Neverland? I'm serious. We could do this. Where? - Where? I'll tell you where. - Pfft. Close your eyes and point. Whatever spot you pick, that's our home. Tallahassee. We got a winner. Is it near a beach? Yeah, it's Florida. Everything's near a beach. Okay, then. Tallahassee it is. Tallahassee it is! Are you sure? Is this what you really want? What I really want is you. What is that? It keeps the time. You have somewhere to be? We can mark watches. Take turns sleeping. We'll most likely have to walk through the night again, so we should rest while we can. - I'll take first shift. - I'll stay up with you. Okay. When's the last time you slept? I don't really sleep now. Not after what I went through. Sleeping curse. The one time I did sleep, I had horrible nightmares. It's a side effect. Same thing happened to me. It did? Mm. I had them for months. Charming, my husband, he used to wake me when I cried out. He'd light a candle. He said it would capture the nightmares. He'd watch over me as I fell back to sleep. Sounds like he lives up to his name. Yeah. Um... Why don't you try to sleep? I'll watch over you. You'll be safe. Thank you. (GRUNTING) (PANTING) (GRUNTS) What happened here? It's where the final battle was. Give me your hand. What? Your hand. It's cut. Let me help. No, no. It's fine. Just... No, it's not. So now you're gonna be a gentleman? (WHISPERING) Giants can smell blood. And I'm always a gentleman. (CORK POPS) (CORK THUDS) (GASPING) Ah! What the hell is that? It's rum. Bloody waste of it. (EMMA PANTING) Here's the plan. We wait for the giant to fall asleep. When he does, we'll sneak past him into his cave. That's where the treasures are. Where the compass lies. And then? And then we run like hell. I don't have time to wait for a giant to fall asleep. The powder Mulan gave us, we need to use it. We've gotta knock him out. That's riskier. Than waiting for a giant to fall asleep when we need him to? Point taken. Ooh, you're a tough lass. You'd make a hell of a pirate. Who's Milah, on the tattoo? Someone from long ago. Where is she? She's gone. Gold. Rumplestiltskin. He took more than your hand from you, didn't he? That's why you want to kill him. For someone who's never been in love, you're quite perceptive, aren't you? Maybe I was. Once. - I got donuts. They got jelly. - (CHUCKLES) - What's wrong? - Nothing. No, no. Hey. What's wrong? This was on the wall at the post office. I didn't even know they did that still. When did this happen? I was a janitor in Phoenix at this high-end jewelry place. The manager was a drunk, and he would forget to lock the case with the expensive watches. Neal... I resisted. Twice. Third time, this guy's just asking to get took. So, I grabbed a couple of cases of watches, and I hopped on a train to Portland. The store's got insurance. Anyway, I stashed them in a locker at the train station. They're still there, so that's hardly stealing. Well, so you got away clean? I didn't get away clean. The manager may have been a drunk, but the security cameras were stone sober. I thought this heat had died down, but it hasn't. I'm sorry. Tallahassee's out. I gotta go to Canada. That's fine. I like maple syrup. I gotta go to Canada alone. Why? If I get caught and you're with me, you're in trouble, too... You're not gonna get caught. How can you say that? You think crossing the border's easy? We get fake IDs and passports. Those cost money. We have a stolen car! We make it legit. We take a VIN number off of another car. Emma, I'm not going to have you in the seat next to me... Wait, wait, wait, seriously, wait, wait, wait! What if I go and get the watches out of the locker? No one's looking for me. We can fence them, and then we'll have the money. We could do whatever we want. We can go wherever we want, right? We could change our identities and go to Tallahassee. So, you want to steal the watches to help me get away with stealing the watches? Yes. That is exactly what I wanna do. - I can't let you risk everything... - I love you. I love you, too. You think you can do it? I know I can. You ready? Yeah. (RHYTHMIC CRASHES) (GROWLING) (THUNDERING FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) (GRUNTS) Oh, damn it. Oi! Hey! You big git! (GROWLS SOFTLY) Yeah, you, huh? You want to kill a human, huh? You want to kill a human? Well, I'm the worst human around, so come on! Come on, then! Come on, then! (GROWLS LOUDLY) (WHOOSH) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (CRASHING) Hook? Hook? He's out cold. I don't mean to upset you, Emma, but I think we make quite the team. Let's go steal a compass. (BIRD CALLING) (PANTING) (CRYING) Hey. Aurora? It was just a dream. It was just a dream. It was horrible. Why don't you tell me about it? Do you wanna tell me about it? Come on, let's stand. Tell me. (PANTING) It was the same as last time. I was in this room, this red room. It was bright, blood red curtains, but there was no windows, no doors, so it didn't make sense, and I couldn't get in or out. I was trapped. The curtains, they were on fire. It was horrible. It's okay. I was hunched in the corner, and I looked over into the other corner. And in the shadows, there was someone else there. I could just see his eyes. He was looking right at me. It's okay. It's over now. These nightmares, they will fade away, I promise. Did they for you? Yeah. Come on. Come on. I'll sit with you until you fall back asleep. Who else do I have to take care of? They hoarded all of their greatest stolen treasures in here. Piles of jewels and every room filled with coins. Let's get to it. The compass. (SNIFFS) What's your rush? How long do you think magic knockout powder lasts? I have no clue. That's my rush. Too right, lass. Come. Everything we need is right in front of us. (INDISTINCT VOICE OVER INTERCOM) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) (CONTINUE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) (CLICK) (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) They killed all the giant housekeepers, too? How are we gonna find a compass in this mess? By looking. Start searching. I wonder how much treasure we could carry down the beanstalk. In addition to the compass, of course. What the hell? HOOK: That would be Jack. - As in, Jack... - The giant killer. With that toothpick? It packs quite a wallop. You'd be surprised... Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's about bloody time. (SIGHS) Um... (GRUNTS) It's a tripwire. Quite a security system. Well, that's a plausible excuse for grabbing me, but next time, don't stand on ceremony. Let's find the compass and go home. After you. Hmm. Oh, thank God. (LAUGHS) Let's see them. There's not as many as I thought. Yeah, but they're super pricey. That's $20,000 easy. Twenty thousand? (WHISPERING) Tallahassee. Listen, I'm gonna go meet the fence. I'll meet you with the money. Mm-hmm. - Do you remember where? - Mm-hmm. - The parking structure by the tracks. - Yes. 9:00 sharp. This is so there's no mix-ups. So I guess we're keeping this one? How can we not? Look at how good it looks on you. Tallahassee, baby. We're almost home. Home. Hey! Hey! (GRUNTS) You got the wrong guy, officer. I wasn't even jaywalking. It's not like that. You wanna protect Emma? Come with me. - What? - Get up. How do you know Emma? - The name's August. - (DOG BARKING) And it's a long story, but trust me, you wanna hear it. All right, August. You're not a cop. Who are you? You got two minutes. Think of me as Emma's guardian angel. Guardian angel? I see you've been doing a pretty crap job. I've been looking for her for the past two years. Now I finally find her, and she's robbing convenience stores with some deadbeat. Tell me again who's doing the crap job? Let me tell you something. I'm the best thing that's ever happened to her. Two years? Where were you the rest of her life? I'm not perfect. This world? Full of temptations. Turns out, I'm not that great at saying no. Not built that way. But I'm here now. So who are you? We were in the same home as kids. And I thought she'd be safe inside the system, but now that she's out... Back then, I promised I would take care of her. Well, we promised to take care of each other. You love her. Good. That means you have to do right by her. That's all I'm trying to do. Then leave her. Never. She has a destiny and you? This life? You're gonna keep her from it. Okay, you believe in magic? I take it you do. So will you. Trust me. I'm gonna show you something. Something that's gonna make you look at everything differently. And when you see what I have in here, you're gonna listen. You're gonna believe every word I say. (LID CREAKS) Yeah, right. (SNIFFS) Okay, I'm listening. There is a curse and it needs to be broken. Emma is the key. I was tasked with keeping her on track. And you, my friend, just got caught in the crossfire. Now I'm gonna tell you a story. And at the end of it, you're gonna have to make a decision, will you do the right thing or not. So, are you ready? (BEEPS) (ERROR SOUND) WOMAN: (RECORDING) The number you're trying to reach is out of service. If you think you've reached this message in error... - (BEEPS) - Damn right, it's an error. POLICE OFFICER: Unless he set you up. - (GUN CLICKS) - Hands above your head, please, miss. Wait. Why? Possession of stolen goods. He left you holding. I have nothing. Sorry to tell you, but your boy took off. Probably in Canada by now. He called in a tip. Told us to take a look at the surveillance footage at the train station. Give me the watch. Now! You know your rights? EMMA: Yeah. Good girl. Turn around. Where's the rest of the watches? Gone. They're not coming back. Let's go. EMMA: So, it's just in here somewhere. HOOK: Allegedly. Give me a boost, would you, love? So I can't see what you're pocketing? No way. You give me a boost. Try something new, darling. It's called trust. (SIGHS) We do it side by side and fast. Who knows how long before the... (RATTLING) (GIANT FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) Someone's up. Quickly, get under something! (GROWLING) (YELLING) (CRASHING) EMMA: Ah! (HOOK GRUNTING) Hook! (GIANT BELLOWING) (SHIP HORN BLOWING) (SEAGULLS CALLING) - (ENGINE STOPS) - (DOOR OPENS) Been a while. Where did you go? Tried to lose myself. It didn't work. I want to talk to you about Emma. I hope you're not trying to reach out. I just... I feel like if I knew that she was okay, I could move on. Is she? She will be. She got 11 months. (NEAL EXHALES) That should be me. I should be doing that time. No. We went over this. It's good. How's it good? It's a minimum-security place in Phoenix, and, no, I am not going to tell you which one. She'll get out of there and she'll be fine. You keep your promise and steer clear, and she can have a good life. She can do what she's supposed to do. I mean if I can't be there for her, man, you gotta promise me that you will be. I promise. Then you should do something for me. I was able to fence the watches. Don't judge, I'm giving it all to her. And the car. I got a clean VIN number for it, so it's legit, and it just... It'll feel like I'm there with her, you know? Money is not what she needs, not for what's ahead. Can you just see that she gets it? Sure. And one more thing. If anything changes, like she does her job, this insanity ends, if she's free... I'll send you a postcard. (SCREAMING) I'm not what you think! You're a thief, and you poisoned me, so, yeah, I'm pretty sure you're exactly what I think. No! You have a compass. I need it! I don't care what you need. (GRUNTS) No, for my son. To save my son. Don't you have a family? No, because humans killed them all. (GROANS) (SQUEEZING) Ahh! (SQUEEZING CONTINUES) - (CRUNCH) - Ahh! Ahh! (GRUNTS) (PANTING) (BELLOWS) (TREASURE SCATTERING) (GROWLING) (GRUNTS) (ZINGS) (RATTLING) (PANTING) Nice security system. Efficient. No. No, no, no! I can tell by your face, you know what this is. Let me guess, it's dipped in some sort of poison. You have a compass. I need it. You're gonna kill me either way. Go ahead. Kill me. You don't know me. I know your kind. They massacred us and destroyed our beans. I heard it the other way. That's because the victors get to tell the story. (GRUNTS) Okay! Stop! Here. See? I'm not the bad guy. Maybe you are telling the truth. It doesn't really matter. I have to go. Are there any more of you? No. I'm alone. What's this? Is this a bean? Can this make a portal? Not anymore. It was destroyed like the rest of them. I wear it as a reminder. A reminder that you're all killers. You're wrong. - (LOUD CLANKING) - GIANT: Aah! (GRUNTING) (GRUNTS) (CLATTERS) GIANT: Go. Why? Because you could've killed me and you didn't. You get one favor. Now go before I change my mind. Actually, I get two favors. What? Well, the way I see it I could have killed you twice. The poison and when you were knocked out. I didn't! What do you want? (BOTH GRUNTING) (HOOK LAUGHING) You are bloody brilliant. Amazing! (LAUGHS) May I see it? The compass? It's more beautiful than legend. (CHUCKLES) Come, let's go. (CLANK) What are you doing? What are you doing? Hook, I... (SIGHS) I can't... Emma, look at me. Have I told you a lie? I brought you here, I risked my own safety to help you. The compass is in your hand. Why do this to me now? I can't take a chance that I'm wrong about you. I'm sorry. You're sorry? You're sorry! I got you here! I got you the compass! I got the compass. And you're just gonna leave me here to die? Have that beast eat me, to crush my bones? He's not a beast. And you're not gonna die. I just need a head start, that's all. Swan. Swan! Swan! (BLADE ZINGS) Whoa! Wait. What are you doing? Just stay back. Emma gave me 10 hours. No! No, no, no! What, you're just gonna leave her to die? Ten hours. She may already be dead. No... No! You, stop! (GRUNTS) Stop! Stop! - Aah! - It was your daughter's wish. (BOTH GRUNTING) I don't care what you say. You do not put my daughter in danger! EMMA: Stop! (GRUNTS) Emma! Oh. You okay? Two earthquakes and a jump from a beanstalk. I think my brain is still rattling around a little. I did what you ordered. Nothing more than that. - Did you get it? - EMMA: Yep. Where... Where's Hook? He's detained. Let's go, get your stuff. We got 10 hours before he follows us. SNOW: What? How? I got a friend looking after him till then. (PANTING) You told her to cut it down? Yes. I couldn't risk... We go back together. That is the only way. Do you understand? Yeah. Good. Now let's go get that dust from Cora. - Yeah, and go home. - Mm-hmm. (WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) (DOOR OPENS) Swan? You got mail. Know anyone in Phuket? I've gotta open this in front of you. Those are the rules. Hey, look, car keys. Hope you got the car it goes with. Nothing else, no letter, sorry. But, good news, you get a car when you get out. And a baby. Congratulations. (DOOR CLOSES) (LOCK TURNS) (GASPS AND SCREAMS) - (PANTING) - DAVID: Henry? - Henry? - (HENRY GASPING) Hey, hey, hey. Okay, you're okay, you're okay. I just had the worst nightmare. - Well, it's over, now. - Okay. Okay? Here. This will help. (MATCH ZIPS) A candle? Yeah. They keep the nightmares away. Okay. Now talk to me. What was so bad? I was in this room. And it was red. DAVID: All right. - And there was no doors, no windows. - Mm-hmm. And these curtains, they were on fire. And I was in this corner. Right. (STAMMERING) And I was looking out, and there was someone else there. She was staring at me through the flames. Then I woke up and... Well, hey, well, don't worry, all right? It was just a bad dream. Previously on "Once Upon A Time"... (Grunts) Killing me's gonna take a lot more than that, dearie. - Hook. - Captain Hook? (Snow) - We destroyed the wardrobe. (Cora) - No! We should start searching for a new portal - back to Storybrooke. - There's an enchanted compass. Cora seeks it. It's not the climb you need to worry about. It's the giant at the top. Your longest stint anywhere was two years. What did you enjoy so much about Tallahassee? (Henry) It's poison. (Emma) I love you, Henry. (Henry) You saved me. (Thunder rumbles) It's a little freakier than I remember from the story. Reminds me of death. Encouraging. Well, your compass awaits. Shall we? Wait. If these beans... create... portals, why not just pick one and go home? Why the compass? Because there aren't any more beans. Whatever story you think you know, my dear, is most certainly wrong. There was a guy named Jack and a cow and something about an evil giant with a treasure and a golden goose. Or harp. Sounds like a lovely tale, but the truth's a little bit more gruesome. The giants grew the beans, but rather than use them for good, they used them to plunder all the lands. Jack was a man who fought a terrible war, defeating all but one of the evil giants. The beans were destroyed by the giants as they died. If they couldn't have their magic, then nobody could. It's really very bad form. Evil giants who made magic portal beans? Why doesn't anyone just go up and grow some more? Because one giant survived... the strongest and most terrible of them all. And we'll have to get past him to... The magic compass. Indeed. The treasure remains, and amongst it is the compass. Now it will guide us to your land. Cora has the means to open a portal with the wardrobe ashes, but she can't find your land without the compass. Once we get it, steal the ashes from her, and we're on our way. How do we know you're not just using us to get the compass for Cora? Because you four are far safer company. All I need is a ride back. I'll swear allegiance to whomever gets me there first. Then we'd better start climbing. Right. So... (Chuckles) I failed to mention that the giant enchanted the beanstalk to repel intruders. All right, so how do we get up there? I've got a counter spell from Cora, if you'd be so kind. Thank you, milady. (Whooshing tinkle) I've got one more of these. Cora was to accompany me. So... which one of you four lovelies shall take her place? Hmm? Go on. Fight it out. Don't be afraid to, you know, really get into it. (Horns blare in distance, indistinct conversations) (Horn honks) (Door squeaks) (Clanks) (Engine starts) (Engine revving) (Shifts gears) Impressive. (Gasps) But really, you could've just asked me for the keys. Once Upon A Time 2x06 - Tallahassee Original air date November 4, 2012 Just drive. It's fine. I just stole your car. Your life could be in danger. Neal Cassidy. Yeah, I'm not telling you my name. No, I don't need it to have you arrested when the robbery's in progress. Emma. Swan. Good name. So do you just live in here, or are you just waiting for the car to be stolen? Why don't I tell you over drinks? - Excuse me? - Hey. Eyes on the road. (Horn blares) I am not having drinks with you. You might be a pervert. I might be a pervert, but you're definitely a car thief. I said I was sorry. You didn't, actually. (Siren whoops) Oh. Damn it. That's why I said, "eyes on the road." Screwdriver. (Grunts) License and registration. Hi. Terribly sorry, officer, but this is actually my car. I'm... I'm trying to, uh, teach my girlfriend how to drive stick. She's got a lot to learn. I know. But, you know... women. All right, I hear you. It's a warning... this time. Yeah. Thank you so much. What are you, some sort of a misogynist? You're welcome. Oh, go. We got lucky. "We"? This isn't your car either, is it? Hmm? I stole a stolen car? Now how about that drink? (Engine starts) (Birds chirping) All due respect, I'm the best-equipped to go. - How many wars have you been through? - My share. - It should be me. - You? You haven't fought in a battle. This is about us getting home to our loved ones. - Why would you... - Because I have no loved ones. If I fail, you can still go on. It's me. I'm going, and I'm not gonna fail. - You're new here. - It's about getting back to Henry. I don't care what I have to face. You're not gonna argue with me? Would it do any good? No. Anything in that bag that's gonna help me with a giant? A hook. Hey. Come with me. This... Powder made from poppies. He has to inhale it. Your sword... how strong is it? The most powerful blade in all the realms. Is it strong enough to cut through that beanstalk? Indeed. Give me ten hours. If I'm not back, you cut it down and keep going. Snow won't like that. That's why I'm asking you. If I don't get back, you get her home. (Hook) Ladies. In this world, we are slaves to time. And ours is running out. In other words, ticktock. (Zips sleeve) I was hoping it'd be you. Just get on with it. Put your hand right here. That's a good girl. This will allow you to climb. There are other dangers. Thankfully, you've got me to protect you. I can't climb one-handed, can I? Don't think I'm taking my eyes off you for a second. I would despair if you did. Let's go. (Bird calling, wind whistling) (Grunts) (Panting) First beanstalk? Well, you never forget your first. You know, most men would take your silence as off-putting, but I love a challenge. I'm concentrating. No, you're afraid. Afraid to talk, to reveal yourself, to trust me. Things'll be a lot smoother if you do. You should be used to people not trusting you. Oh. The pirate thing. Well, I don't need you to share. You're something of an open book. Am I? Quite. Let's see. You volunteered to come up here because you were the most motivated. You need to get back to a child. That's not perception. That's eavesdropping. Ah, but you don't want to abandon him the way you were abandoned. Was I? Like I said, an open book. How would you know that? I spent many years in Neverland, home of the lost boys. They all share the same look in their eyes... the look you get when you've been left alone. Yeah, well, my world ain't Neverland. But an orphan's an orphan. Love has been all too rare in your life, hasn't it? You ever even been in love? No. I have never been in love. I think this little guy is hungry. (Laughs) Go ahead and get whatever you want, sweetie. - I'm gonna get directions. - I will. Hey, man. How are you? I've been better. Listen, my wife and I... are really lost. I'm trying to get to Eugene, and I think we've been going the wrong way. Can you show me what's going on here? Where are we, first of all? Okay, wait. Do I look like a tour guide? Why don't you buy the map? Then I can help you. Okay. Okay. Now your problem is... (Map rustles) Is you're way up here. You see that? (Door bell chimes) Oh, my God. That is a problem. Yeah. Now what you wanna do is you wanna go all the way south. You have to take 5 all the way south towards Salem. - That's right down there. You see that? - Hey. - Okay. - That's where you're going. You got it? - Hey, mister, that guy's stealing that... - Oh, God! Oh, God. - Honey? (Panting) - Oh. Oh. I think... - I think it's time. - He's ready? - Oh, yeah. - You didn't see him take the... - Oh! Oh! It hurts really bad! - You guys need help? - No, no, mister, you didn't see... - Oh, my God! - It hurts really bad! - Whoa. Whoa. Okay. Okay. - You want me to call an ambulance? - No, it's fine! My car's out front. - I know, I know. Breathe, baby. - Oh! Oh! Oh, God. Breathe! Let's go! Come on. (Emma) Oh! Oh, God! You know they were stealing. The little guy saved us. He sure did! The miracle of birth! Wow. Good haul. Thanks. I got you a key chain. Do you like it? Yeah. Okay. We gotta go. (Exhales) (Engine revving) (Woman) All right, come on, kids. 20 minutes till housekeeping. (Squeals) You wanna shower first? Oh, look. The Granola family left this. - What is that? - It's a native American dream catcher. It's supposed to keep all the nightmares out and only let the good dreams in to protect your home. It's flypaper for nightmares? Mm-hmm. - Let's keep it. - Yeah? Hang it where, the car? It's not much of a home. Maybe it's time we get a real place. Are you saying... Why not? We've been on the road long enough. Maybe it's time we retire the Bonnie and Clyde act. So I think... I think it's time. Together? - Don't you wanna? - Like where, Neverland? I'm serious. We could do this. Where? Where? I'll tell you where. Close your eyes and point. Whatever spot you pick... that's our home. Tallahassee. We got a winner. Is it near a beach? Yeah, it's Florida. Everything's near a beach. - Okay, then Tallahassee it is. - Tallahassee it is. Are you sure? Is this... what you really want? What I really want is you. What is that? Keeps the time. (Crow caws) You have somewhere to be? We can mark watches, take turns sleeping. We'll most likely have to walk through the night again, so we should rest while we can. I'll take first shift. I'll stay up with you. Okay. When's the last time you slept? I don't really sleep now. Not after what I've been through. Sleeping curse. The one time I did sleep, I had horrible nightmares. It's a side effect. Same thing happened to me. It did? Mm. I had them for months. Charming... my husband... he used to wake me. When I cried out, he'd light a candle. He said it would capture the nightmares. He'd watch over me as I fell back to sleep. Sounds like he lives up to his name. Yeah. Um... why don't you try... to sleep? I'll watch over you. You'll be safe. Thank you. (Grunting) (Panting) (Grunts) What happened here? It's where the final battle was. Give me your hand. What? Your hand... it's cut. Let me help you. - No. No. It's fine. - No, it's not. So now you're gonna be a gentleman? (Whispers) Giants can smell blood, and I'm always a gentleman. (Cork pops) (Cork thuds) Ah! Oh! What the hell is that? It's rum. A bloody waste of it. (Panting) Here's the plan. We wait for the giant to fall asleep. When he does, we'll sneak past him into his cave. It's where the treasures are, where the compass lies. And then? And then we run like hell. I don't have time to wait for a giant to fall asleep. The powder Mulan gave us... we need to use it. We gotta knock him out. Well, that's riskier. Than waiting for a giant to fall asleep when we need him to? Point taken. Ooh, you're a tough lass. You'd make a hell of a pirate. Who's Milah on the tattoo? Someone from long ago. Where is she? She's gone. Gold. Rumplestiltskin. He took more than your hand from you, didn't he? That's why you want to kill him. For someone who's never been in love, you're quite perceptive, aren't you? Maybe I was once. I got doughnuts. I got jelly. (Chuckles) What's wrong? Nothing. No, no. Hey. What's wrong? This was on the wall at the post office. I didn't even know they did that still. When did this happen? I was a janitor in Phoenix... this high-end jewelry place. The manager was a drunk. He would forget to lock the case to the expensive watches. Neal... I resisted twice. The third time, this guy's asking to get took. So I... I grabbed a couple cases of watches and I hopped on a train to Portland. The store's got insurance. Anyway, I stashed 'em in a locker at the train station. They're still there. It's hardly stealing. So you got away clean. I didn't get away clean. The manager may have been a drunk, but the security cameras are stone sober. I thought this heat had died down, but it hasn't. I'm sorry. Tallahassee's out. I gotta go to Canada. That's fine. I like maple syrup. I gotta go to Canada alone. Why? If I get caught, and you're with me, - you're in trouble... - You're not gonna get caught. How can you say that? You think crossing the border's easy? We get fake I.D.s and passports. Those cost money. We have a stolen car. We make it legit. We take a V.I.N. number off of another car. Emma, I'm not gonna have you in the seat next to me - with $20,000... - Wait. Wait. Seriously, wait. Wait. Wait. What if I go and get the watches out of the locker? No one's looking for me. We can... we can fence them and then we have the money. We can do whatever we want. We can go wherever we want, right? We could change our identities and go to Tallahassee. So you... you want to steal the watches to help me with get away with stealing the watches? Yes. That is exactly what I want to do. I can't let you risk everything... I love you. I love you, too. You think you can do it? I know I can. You ready? Yeah. (Rhythmic crashes) (Growling) (Thunderous footsteps approaching) (Grunts) (Growling and thrashing) Oh, damn it. Oi! Hey! You big git! (Growls softly) Good! Your minds has also sharpened up along with your body. So partner, why did you want to see me? I need a house. Are you looking to buy one? No, want to rent one. So what is the problem? - Nobody wants to give it to a bachelor. And I can't call my sister here until I have a house. Don't worry! Call your sisters! How can I call them till I have a house! Don't worry about that! I have a lady friend too! What family were you talking about? He is a bachelor! Why? I am there! These days even two men can start a family! Stay within your limits, Johnny! Just kidding! He has got two lovely sisters. They will come and stay with him. You can lord over them! They will help you in your housework too! How much is the rent? 3,000 rupees, no security because Johnny has brought you here. But I will take three months advance. My tenants will vacate the room in 15 days. But you need to pay the advance now. His sisters will be here in 15 days. He will give you the advance then and you hand us the keys at the same time. Fair and square, is it not? Look Johnny, my room shouldn't go vacant even for a day. Your house is like my own! I wouldn't be able to bear it. If you were to incur any loss on my account! May I take one? Get lost! Are you a moron? Rushing to pay the advance when the house isn't even vacant yet! You haven't understood this city at all. Johnny bhai, thank you. Oye! What do you think you are doing? Hey! I am talking to you! That is my drawer. It was my drawer till you stuffed your things in. Your mother has given me the key. If my mother gave you the house keys someday.. ..would the house be yours too? I pay my share of the rent every month. You eat worth much more in a single day! I will leave your house... and your drawer as well! Quit talking about it. Why don't you actually do it for a change. I told you not to come here! What was so important? You should not trust me so much! Where else can I keep it? All the banks are asking for an income proof. I will come and take it in a couple of weeks. This bank will charge interest. Biji has woken up. If you can't knock like a civilized person have the courtesy to look away. Slut! Where the fuck do you think you are going! Sit here! I thought my old mother had gone senile! Then one day I asked myself how long since Sarika nagged you? She seems content! What has changed? I has my eye on you but you sensed it some how! Clever slut that you are... But you couldn't resist for long eh! Today I am going to knock you back to your senses! Oye! Sit! Mother fucker. Watch and learn! Usually you are of no use does seeing me with him turn you on? You pervert! If you think you are going to fuck around behind my back.. ..and make me look like a fool... then think again. 'l was scared to go back to my aunt's house.' 'l needn't have been for Sarika's husband had already dug my grave.' Mukesh had come home in the afternoon to ask Sarika for a loan. Said that he was not being treated well by you. That you do not give him proper food nor any pocket money. Inspite of our constraints we try to do our best for him... He had been working well up till now so Sarika felt sorry for him. At his age boys tend to mistake sympathy from women for an interest of another kind. Yes, boys at this age can indeed be very foolish. He tried to grab her in front of my old mother. He was smelling of cheap liquor. So, Sarika pushed him away. After that he just went mad. Tried to kiss her.. Caught her arm so hard that he has left marks! Sir, let him return home my husband will take him to a task. Do not let him return is what I came to say. Your husband is due for a promotion it will be very unfortunate.. ..if instead of a promotion he has to sit in front of some anti-corruption inquiry committee. Mukesh... pack your things right away and leave the house! Where will I go, Buaji? I don't care. Go to a friend! Or rent a room! Very independent you have become. You make enough money giving tuitions to get drunk on. Mr. Khanna is lying! I had just gone over to meet Sarika. Everybody is aware of Sarika's reputation. Why her husband is targeting you, I don't know. But if you stay here, you will land all of us in trouble... So for God's sake please spare us. Oye! Tuition master! What happened? And what's with all this luggage? Come with me... Come in. Settle down. Mauritius. My aunt's son lives there... Keeps calling me, says.. ..a little investment can take me far there But I say, I am too old to settle in a new place. Johnny bhai. My money is stuck somewhere. I will rent the room as soon as I get it back. Play chess with me every night. Stay for free as long as you like! When are you coming to get us? I'll be there soon! Why? Has something happened? No, but just come and get us fast. I'll be there don't worry! Hello, Kavita ma'am... Mukesh here. Who Mukesh? There is no Kavita here... Don't call back again. Hello, Reena ma'am. This is Mukesh here. You haven't called last few days so I thought I should call and inquire. Wrong number. Mrs. Kajal? This is Mukesh calling. Usha ma'am. This is Mukesh calling. Mrs. Vandana? - Wrong number. Sorry, I won't call back again. Hello, Sarika ma'am... I have told you not to call here... Don't call back again. This is Mukesh calling. Sorry. Who is there ma? Somebody's got the wrong address. What are you doing here? Leave! My husband can come anytime! Did he hit you? What else do you expect? A trophy? My sisters are coming, I need my money. Are you done? They rescheduled my appointment for tomorrow. Breakfast! Johnny bhai, I need a favour? What? You will have to go to that lady's house the one that you met with me. Why don't you go yourself? My aunt lives in the same colony if she sees me there... What work do you have with her? Sleeping through the day begets bad luck my friend! She says that your due has already been paid to you. Your lady friend didn't even let me enter the house! She started shouting and threatening me saying that she will call her husband! They have given your number to the cops even filed a report against you... What the hell are you upto? You will get me into trouble as well Screwed up my work. Got me thrown out of the house. And now she says she will not pay me! Bitch! Does she think I am scared of her and her husband! What does she think of herself? Calm down! Shut up and listen to me! What the fuck do you think you are doing! Come to your senses! Have you lost it! I don't know what kind of tuitions you have been giving. But learn this from me. Take out your sim card! Stay away from them they are rich and connected! They will get you busted so bad you won't know what hit you! Give me the sim card I will throw it away. If you throw my sim card then how will my sisters call me? Give them my number! And what if someone calls you? - Have you ever heard my phone ring? Use my card and give them this number. I am not going to let her get away with this! I will cut her to pieces! Don't talk shit. We are out of booze as well! Come... Come on... This godforsaken town is a real shit hole! You place your trust in people thinking they are your friends. But the moment you turn around they ram it right up your ass. I'll go give this number to my sisters. Ok, but now don't go stressing them out as well. Hello, Sonu! Are you alright? Who's number is this? It's a friend's number, save it on your phone. What's this noise are you outside? What are you doing out so late? - We have run away from there... We are on our way to Delhi. Run away! What do you mean you have run away! Have you gone mad! What the hell is going on there? I'll explain everything once I reach. I told you to stay on for a few days! Can't you understand that much? Are you little children! Brother, please don't get angry...the warden. What did she do? Sonu, tell me what happened? She got drunk and came in Chhoti's room... Was trying to slip into her bed. I'll explain everything tomorrow. You both take care of yourselves... Do you have money? Yes. Call me as soon as your reach, I will come and get you. Here, gulp it down. Johnny bhai. Could you lend me some money? I will return it soon. Money? If I had any money saved do you think I would have been stuck in this city. I would have gone away to Mauritius long back! I live off the dead! I bury one corpse to get one meal! I am surviving because people die in this city everyday. I would have run away long time back. To Mauritius... to white sands... to blue skies... You are young you will get many chances. Brother. Stop for a minute... You are with me because this is your first night. From tomorrow you are on your own. Be tough! Don't be scared! Do we wait here? I'll go first. How much money should I ask for? 2,000 rupees don't settle for less. Drink up! Go on, have another swig. It eases the pain! Move aside. Time to get to work! Looking for fun? - Yes! How much will you pay? - Let's bargain on the way. There is one! Standing all by himself! Back up. I am tired of whores around here let's try the pretty boys for size! Three of you? Why, you gonna cook for us tonight? All three of you will have to pay! Sure, but let us see the goods first. Go on, he is calling you! Why so wound up? Are you a first timer? 2,000 rupees for each of you! That's the rate, take it or leave it! The little fucker wants to play posh! Drag him in boys! Get in you faggot spreading filth on the streets! Give the money first. The motherfucker thinks he is prime piece of ass! Let go of me! Don't worry about the three of us you won't get past even one! Open the door! Let me out! Stop the car! Let me go! What happened? Come here... Mukesh! What happened? Show! Look, I don't know what's going on with you but whatever it is, get out of it. Forget the past... start afresh. Johnny, I won't give up what is rightfully mine. Have you lost your mind! What do you want? I am not here for you... My work has been stopped. Your work? I told your friend about it... go ask him. Who stopped it? - What do you think? Your husband? Why? He did not know about the work or the boys. Boys? There were others. For the last time, where is the money? There is 2,000 in the almirah, take it and leave! Next time you come my husband will be waiting for you! I haven't come for a handout! I want money that is rightfully mine! So go and ask the one who has taken it. Ask whom? Your husband? He earns more in a day than you have managed in all these months! Go and ask your friend! The scoundrel even looked like a thief. Don't lie. Why do you lie? Did you learn anything from me in all these months? Apart from sex! Our work can start again, leave now... Think of your sisters. I am never sinking back into your filth again! I want my money and I want it now! Sarika, open the door. Did you foresee this while you were planning your break in? Sarika! Open the door! I know there is someone inside! Open up! Open up or I will cal in the neighbors! Today the whole world will see your true colors... I will rub your face in dirt. Mukesh. Come here. I don't care what people will think of me... But you will never be able to face anyone again! Put the knife in me! What? You don't have to kill me! Insert it in a little bit! Sarika! I'll break open the door! He will kill both of us! Good! We will die together like star-crossed lovers! I am warning you for the last time Sarika! That felt good. First class first! It was never Johnny who betrayed me... It has always been you. And today, you want to get away again. Not this time! This is Mukesh. is Johnny there? Who, Karpov? Yes. He took off. To Mauritius. The lucky fucker ran into a bag of cash! Johnny! Brother, we have reached. Where are you? We have been waiting outside the train station. Are you coming? Wait there, I am on my way. He is the one, sir. Hey! Stop! Where are you? How much longer do we have to wait here? Do you want us to wait here all night? We will have fun skinning you alive tonight! You runt! Why are you not answering? Nowhere to run now motherfucker. We are pioneers. We explore, discover, question. Now mankind unlocks mysteries of the natural world. New powers unleashed, [yelling] transforming all we are. Amidst the chaos of an unforgiving planet, most species will fail, but for one, all the pieces will fall into place, and a set of keys will unlock a path for mankind to triumph. This is our story, the Story of All of Us. Narrator: The planet is a battle ground. Ancient people and beliefs crash head on into a new age of science and commerce. In North America, what will become a land of cities and highways, lies under a blanket of forests. Now pioneers push into the unknown. New England, 1676 Two generations after the Mayflower, 150,000 settlers cling to the edge of a vast wilderness, among them, the Lewis family. Puritans from England, they have been here for 30 years. The Wabanaki have been here 12,000. In the 17th century, there are around 55 million hunter gathers, living across almost 1/3 of the planet, a way of life dating back to the dawn of mankind, now under threat as newcomers move onto their lands. [screaming] In the New World, Native Americans outnumber settlers by nearly six to one. It's war. [screams] The Wabanaki kill nine of the Lewis family, [fighting, yelling out] but some of the children survive, [screaming] including a three year old girl, Mercy Lewis, 16 years later, a witness in a trial that marks the passing of an era. 1692 Salem, Massachusetts, a community in meltdown. 65 year old Martha Corey, devout Christian and church-goer, on trial for her life. Sheridan: The Puritans of that time were, you know, lived on the lip of the wilderness. They were terrified of the wilderness and wildness, of wild men and the Indians, so that kind of fear allows for a witch trial to kinda take hold and a hysteria to take over. Narrator: Mercy Lewis and nine women and girls claim Corey is a witch, haunting their dreams, hurting them without touching them. [screams] Mercy testifies: I believe in my heart that Martha Corey is a most dreadful witch, biting, pinching, and choking me. Narrator; All considered evidence of witchcraft. The people of Salem are Puritans. They live by the Bible, in fear of the devil, blaming him for famine, disease and conflict. Shea: The fascinating thing about the Salem Witch Trials is they occur at a crucial tipping point in the history of America. Supernatural explanations are first and foremost in their mind. Van Alst: They see the Devil alive with the Indians, so if you could imagine sitting in your little living room, with your tiny tallow candle, and your Indian windows cracked a little bit for the breeze, every snap of branch you hear, every rustle of a leaf you hear is either the Devil or the Indians. This is their nightly experience. Narrator: For 300 hundred years, the West has been gripped by a witch hunting frenzy. [scream] 45,000 put to death, 80% women. The Puritans take their belief in witchcraft to the New World. Five people in Salem have already been accused. Now it's Martha Corey's word against her teenage accusers. Teen accuser: I have often seen the operation of Martha Coery, and she very often afflicted me by her acts of witchcraft. Judge: Martha Corey, tell me why you hurt these persons. Narrator: Martha's only hope is that the judge will see through the girls' hysteria. [man speaking: the Devil coming to rule] [screams] Martha: I know nothing. I am a Gospel woman. [screaming, crying] Martha: I am a Gospel woman. girl: You are a Gospel witch! [sounds of a wagon] Narrator: In Salem, over 100 hundred people are accused of witchcraft, among them a four year old girl. 20 executions. Fourteen years later, one teenager withdraws her testimony, claiming to have been deceived by Satan. [voice: It's time.] [music] Narrator: Mercy Lewis never speaks of it again. Salem is among the last of the mass witch hunts. The era of fear and superstition is ending. Now, the hunt for profit is opening up the wilderness, beckoning a new breed of pioneer, in search of the earth's natural resources: hunters, frontiersmen. Dolin: Much like explorers and adventurers of today, they had a certain mettle to them, but they were also driven by the desire to make money. Profit is a amazing motivator. Narrator: Half a world away from New England, one of the most inhospitable place on the planet, Siberia, one and a half times the size of the USA, covering 10% of the Earth's land. Semyon Dezhnev hunter, explorer 2,000 miles away from home, in search of a commodity that will reshape the world: fur, worth four times more than gold. The world is in the grip of a mini ice age. Ash from volcanic eruptions blocks out the sun, cooling the earth, the coldest conditions in 10,000 years. Dolin: People wanted to wear furs because they kept them warm, especially in cold climates, but they also wanted furs because they were a beautiful statement of their place in society. Narrator: Dezhnev's hunting party needs 6,000 calories a day to survive. They'll eat anything, tree bark, even reindeer feces. Dezhnev: I suffered all kinds of want and destitution. I ate larch and pine bark and accepted filth. Narrator: But this is also the home of the Evenki, [screams] hunter gathers living in near isolation, until now. Wunderlich: The fact is they are not empty wildernesses; there are people living there, and these people oftentimes get in the way of the progress of the seeking out of commodity. Narrator: Early journals record the Evenki mindset. Evenki man speaking: We own the land here. We do not wish to become slaves. Narrator: The Evenki are swift and silent hunters, arrow tips made from reindeer antlers that can pierce a human skull, [swiping sounds] but no match for a weapon that shapes the future of mankind. Across the planet, pioneers clash with ancient cultures, conquer new lands. What gives them the edge? the gun Invented in China, developed in Europe, now being mass produced using cast iron. Production skyrockets 10,000%. Machowicz: It is a game changer. There is always going to be somebody who wants to improve on the idea; make it bigger, faster, stronger, more lethal. [gunshots] Muzzle velocity 700 miles per hour, seven times faster than an arrow. [music] Dezhnev records the battle in his diary: I killed some of their best men in that fight, and we wounded many others. Narrator: The wilderness is being tamed, hunter gatherers being displaced, a conflict playing out across the planet. Dezhnev makes it home a rich man. The trade in fur opens up two continents. Russia seizes control of Siberia and Alaska and quadruples in size. In North America, the fur trade opens up the wilderness. Dutch traders establish a court to shift fur to Europe, 80,000 pelts a year, worth $48 million today, creating a new commercial capital: New York. Wuderlich: It is almost inconceivable of us to think back to two superpowers, Russia and America, and both of them were given their real economic starts on the back of small free animals. Narrator: The resources of the natural world drive a new age of commerce: Fur, sugar, coffee, tea, and tobacco. but transporting them is a deadly job, through uncharted seas. One in five journeys ends in disaster. The world's oceans are graveyards. Meigs: The great challenge in navigating the seas was knowing where you are so you don't crash into stuff and die, and ships were doing that all the time. Sheridan: These guys were sailing into a horror movie. They have no idea what is happening, and they are moving into mystery. It's got to have been terrifying. Narrator: Sailors navigate by measuring the angles between the moon and the stars and comparing with star charts, but these charts are basic and inaccurate. Sheridan: In those days, celestial navigation and being accurate, you know, meant the difference between life and death. There was a real element of " "we're gonna sorta fuddle along and roll the dice and hope that we more or less end up where we are going," and that's dangerous. Narrator: Now, one man will transform navigation, astronomer to the English King, John Flamsteed. He'll unlock the keys to global trade and exploration by building his mural arc. Sheridan: Flamsteed's arc changed our understanding of the night sky in a way that kind of like the Hubble telescope, you know, has revealed so much more of the universe to us. Narrator: Superstition is giving way to science. Gates: The universe is not a place of arbitrariness; there are laws, and the universe itself is a kind of mechanism. Narrator: Mankind enters a new era, discovering single-celled organisms, and the secrets of the beating heart. For the first time, we understand gravity. and prove that the earth orbits around the sun, Meigs: After fire, the written word, agriculture, the scientific method is probably mankind's greatest gift to the future. Narrator: For 14 months, Flamsteed has been building his mural arc, a telescope moved by a precision-gearing system that measures the angle of the stars in the night sky. [45, 46] The king invests in the project, but the money runs out. Flamsteed spends his life savings to bring his dream alive, a quarter of a million dollars in today's money. [cirius] [cirius crossing] [Now! } Flamsteed gives each star a unique marker, 28,000 measurements recording their exact position, tripling the number the known starts to nearly 3,000, the greatest breakthrough in navigation since the compass. [7] Star charts, 15x more accurate than before, saving money and lives. Sheridan: Flamsteed's a hero. He changed the world irrevocably by creating these accurate measurements. It's like these sailors went from having a rough, you know, hand-drawn map to having a satellite, photograph, beautiful, GPS-inspired image. Narrator: New measurements that, one day, will help guide men to the moon. Meigs: So often, we think about the progress of science. We think about that a-ha moment, that flash of insight, we don't recognize that so much of science is dogged, hard work, and Flamsteed was the ultimate grinder. Narrator: Science opens a new age of exploration. Captain James Cook, mankind's greatest explorer. Cook speaking: I had ambition, but only to go farther than anyone had been had before, but as far as it was possible for men to go. Sheridan: Cook's journey depended upon the observations of Flamsteed, and he could have never done what he did without them. Narrator: A third of the world unmapped until now. On three journeys, Cook will reach some of the most remote corners of the planet, and open up a new continent. Meigs: Cook's voyages really showed us what the world looked like. No longer were there vast areas on the map, where you might just say, "There be dragons." Narrator: Onboard the Endeavor, a crew of 74, living on decks less than four feet high, an era when half of all sailors die from disease, they cross an uncharted ocean that covers a third of the planet, the Pacific. Now, after 20 months at sea, Cook and his crew step onto a mysterious new continent, Australia. [water, waves] Australia's Aboriginal people settled the continent 50,000 years ago, [waves] the oldest living culture in the world, 250 languages 600 dialects. They invent sharpened axes 15,000 years before Europeans. Cook speaking: Tell them we mean them no harm. [voice in Polynesian language] Cook's Polynesian translator, Tupaia, tries to negotiate the first encounter. [angry voice] Cook: Neither us nor Tupaia could understand one word they said. [voices] They again came to oppose us. I fired a musket between the two. [gunshot] Cook will claim their land for the British Empire. Hyland: When Cook found the Australian Aborigines, he had no idea whatsoever of what their culture was about. This is the one most sophisticated, complex cultural traditions in the world. It's one of the most ancient. Cook missed all that. He just thought that these were kind of a shy people, he thought they were inferior, he had no idea what he was encountering. Narrator: But what Cook and his crew discover is an ecosystem like no other, the biggest island on earth, a continent with its own unique evolution, 85% of its mammals found nowhere else on Earth. To record, a man who will become one of the world's leading botanists, Joseph Banks, young, ambitious, on an adventure of a lifetime. The new science of botany that he pioneers unlocks secrets of the natural world that still aid mankind today. Meigs: Joseph Banks was like a rock star of science in his day. He was a huge celebrity, and he lived this glamorous life, sailing around the oceans, cataloging native people, interesting species, discoveries, and when he came home to England, he gave lectures that were as popular as a rock concert today. Narrator: On the expedition, Banks collects over 30,000 plants, 25% more plant species now known to science, more specimens in his lifetime than any other botanist. Meigs: He made these explorations for pure discovery, not really for financial gain, and he really popularize the idea in Europe that science was an end of itself, it didn't always have to serve commerce to be important. Narrator: After one week in Australia, the Endeavor sets sail for Britain, carrying an irreplaceable cargo. animals and plants unknown to science. Ahead, a 20,000 mile journey. 11pm: Five weeks into the voyage. [items topple over] 24 miles from the coast, the Endeavor hits a reef. [voices - run aground] [Going down! ] Banks records the terror on board: [voices yelling] Fear of death now stared us in the face. Probably the most of us must be drowned. I prepared myself for the worst. Off the coast of Australia mankind's greatest explorer fights to save his stricken ship. If Cook can't refloat it the reef will tear the hull apart. Few sailors can swim. This was a alarming and terrible circumstance. It threatened the immediate destruction of the ship. Sam Sheridan: Its horrendous, there is a shock. There is chaos, the ship is grinding on the rocks. Time is of the essence if they don't get the ship floating soon their going to die. To lighten the ship and refloat her, they throw overboard personnel possessions, canons, casks and ballast. Even fresh drinking water. Only the precious scientific samples are saved. [voices] There is no rescue coming, you are completely alone, completely isolated. For us it would be like if we were on Mars and our space ship is breaking apart. Our chances of survival are terrible. Its a terrifying event. 23 hours later, a rising tide helps the ship lift free. We are free men. Below them a 1,400 hundred mile long maze. The Great Barrier Reef. One of the wonders of the natural world. The largest living structure on Earth. The only organism visible from space. Over three epic voyages, Cook maps Australia, New Zealand, the Pacific Ocean and the Americas. More of the world than any other explorer. [waves] [lighting] As Cook opens up the planet, on the other side of the world and American inventor is playing with fire. Bringing the scientific revolution to America. Benjamin Franklin, innovator, entrepreneur,and Americas first storm chaser. Using a child's toy to unlock one of the keys to the future. Brian Williams; I think his role as a scientist is as important as is his role as a statesman and a founder. He was the first American to make science palpable, tangible to the American people. Because of how he spoke and wrote about it. Since the dawn of mankind humanity has lived in fear of the most destructive forces in nature. Lighting World wide 16 million lighting storms a year kill 24,000 people. Each strike wields the power of a ton of TNT. With a temperature of 50,000 degrees fahrenheit five times hotter than the sun. As a journalist Franklin knows the devastation lighting can cause. [screams] Grain stores, houses and churches destroyed. Only 60 years after the Salem witch trials, many still believe its the wrath of God. But Franklin will challenge this to prove that lighting is a form of electricity. And help unlock one of the keys to man kinds future. Franklin: I was never before engaged in any study that so totally engrossed my attention and time. Surely the thunder of heaven is no more supernatural than the rain, hell or sunshine of heaven. The battle between superstition and science that defines the age. Prof. H.W. Brands: Franklin was very much part of the enlightenment. The enlightenment was based on the idea that there are natural explanations for the phenom of nature. Mark Frauenfelder: I think Franklin was finally pounding the nails into the coffin of superstition. This was a time when lighting was still considered by many people to be Gods vengeance. To test his theory a especially adapted kite. With a metal wire at the top, and a metal key at the base. [voices] [lighting] An experiment that could unlock the secrets of the skies. Or electrocute them. [lighting] Mankind, driven by a new curiosity to explain the unknown. Benjamin Franklin in search in the secrets of lighting, helping unlock the keys to our electric world. From clouds, static electricity. You will find it streams out plentifully from the key at the approach of your knuckle. The first proof that lighting is electricity. Mark Frauenfelder: He looked at the world differently he wanted explanations that were rational and made sense and couldn't be attributed to supernatural forces. [voices] Franklin turns his discovery into a practical invention. The worlds first lighting rod. Its life saving design virtually unchanged to this day. From a stream of electrified air. To identifying positive and negative charges. An experiment that helps unlock a power that will transform our lives. The birth of the electric world. Light bulbs, television, air conditioning, computers. [phone ringing] Every aspect of human life, transformed. George Wunderlich: Just a little over 200 hundred years ago we've gone from that spot where electricity was the great unknown. To a time where we can't imagine something as simple as the batteries in our cell phone. This is a relative short period of time in the history of humanity. Yet look what it has brought us. Those positive and negative symbols you see on the terminals you see are because of Franklins discoveries. Amazing! Twenty years after Franklins experiment, another kind of revolution rocks America. An isolated rebellion in a New England lumber yard will erupt into war. That drive for self determination, that drive to control their own destiny. That drive to control their own economy, overcame all fear. New Hampshire 1772, millionaire Ebenezer Mudgett. Determined, rebellious, a self made tycoon. He has made his fortune from mankind's first and oldest first resource, wood. The key to our lives since the dawn of man. The vast forests that was once haunted the dreams of America's settlers. Are now there greatest source of profit. 950 million acres, over 50 billion trees. And the King of England believes the best belong to him. A third of all British ships are built in New England. One warship uses 6,000 trees and cost the equivalent of a modern aircraft carrier. Prof. Al Camarillo: You are going to maintain that kind of maritime trade and exploration and acquisition of new colonies. You better have the resources to keep the Navy in tact. In Boston there is on British redcoat for every four citizens. A city under occupation. Goods from the new world are worth over four billion dollars a year to Britain. [screams] But colonists protest against heavy taxes. [gun shots] A face of with British soldiers, kills five civilians. The Boston Massacre. Two years later Ebenezer Mudgett, is at the center of a conflict over American timber. The biggest trees are set aside for British ships, by law. The best wood in America, off limits to the colonists. That is where we see in America the chaffing between the government in London and the goverend here. That chaffing why can't I as the local control my commodity. On property I want to control, who gives the King the right to do that? But Mudgett resists. The battle lines are drawn. County sheriff and British loyalist, Benjamin Whiting has been tipped off. Mudgett has kept the best wood to sell to the colonies. He is charged with stealing form the King of England. Across America the spirit of rebellion is about to trans form the future of mankind. [screams] An age of knew knowledge sparks a struggle for freedom. New Hampshire lumber merchant Ebenezer Mudgett sends a message to the King of England and his agents. In his sights Sheriff Whiting and Deputy Quigley. [voices] The punishment one strike for every tree he is charged with stealing. It is called the pine tree riot. [music] Rebellion is spreading across the colonies. Brian Williams: When their time arrives the ordinary become extraordinary. The Mudgetts of the world are those who have had enough and decide I am going to bet all that I have and all that I am on something else. A year later, in Boston rebels destroy one million dollars worth of tea. One of the most famous acts of resistance in American history. 1775 Lexington, ordinary Americans patriots, prepare to defend themselves against the most powerful army in the world. The British are under orders to arrest rebel leaders, and seize their weapons. The future of 13 colonies hangs in the balance. [gun shots] [music] The war of independence has begun. Mudgett will be on the front line. Richard Machowicz: When mankind truly taste freedom, they develop an appetite for freedom. And the want to be to use that freedom to build their own lives. A year later, July 4th 1776, Philadelphia Pennsylvania the second Continental Congress votes to adopt a radical document. The Declaration of Independence, edited by scientist turned politician Benjamin Franklin. Proclaiming the 13 colonies free and independent from Great Britain. We hold these truths to be self evident. That all men are created equal. That they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights. Among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. George Wunderlich: When he put his finger under that key, he was in charge of his own destiny. And when he sat there with congress to write the Declaration of Independence, to sign it, to think about it, to act upon it he was making exactly the same statement. I we should declare our own destiny, we're in charge, not someone else. He challenged the old way. In less than two centuries mankind has opened up the wilderness and mapped the planet, prospering from its natural resources. The scientific revolution has given rise to the modern world. James Meigs: You have to remember that during this period of the enlightenment, when these scientific ideas were coming to the fore. The church was the ultimate authority and the crown was the ultimate authority about how the world worked and what you should believe. And what was so revolutionary about the scientific method, is it was essentially democratic. It said that no power, no person, no organization, no ruler can tell you what reality is. Narrator: Fear and superstition replaced by reason. Liberated by a new way of thinking. Launching a new age, that will change the lives of everyone on the planet. The age of industry. Previously on Covert Affairs... Simon is a master spy. Get intimate enough with a man, and he'll tell you everything. I like you... quite a bit more than you might believe. Simon, it's me. Can I see you? I'm on the short list, Joan, to be the ambassador to China. The promise of the Chinese ambassador post is pulling you away like you no longer work here. The DCI has put me on the trilateral commission looking into Jai's death. People think I murdered my own son? Hey. For a week trip, you pack kind of light. Please tell me you're not wearing this. I'm going on a business trip to the Caribbean. Unless you're applying for a job at Sandals, I would lose this shirt. What kind of business do you have in the Caribbean? Oh, I have my finger in a number of... Pies. Pies. Yeah, I know. What kind of pies, specifically? Apple, rhubarb... cherry, when I'm in the mood. This is always the worst part. The fashion tips? The end. We're always saying good-bye, and we never know when we're gonna see each other again. Come with me... on my trip-- a week together in paradise. You have to work. I don't want to interfere. Well, I've never had a problem mixing business and pleasure. Have you? I do have some vacation time saved up and... a bikini I've been dying to wear. Or not wear. Where are you going-- Bahamas, Caymans? Cuba. Still interested? When do we leave? Hey. Thanks for seeing me before work. My door is always open. It doesn't matter which door. Come on in. So you want to go on vacation with a seasoned FSB operative who very well may be on to you. Or he may be letting his emotions guide his decisions. And he's taking you to Cuba? I know the risks. If I got caught, the extraction would be extremely high risk. Extraction? There would be no extraction. If you got caught, the Agency would have no recourse. North Korea would be easier. Still, the potential benefit is huge. Are you asking me to authorize a mission to Cuba? 'Cause if you are, I can't give you that. But if you're telling me you're gonna go anyway, I can't stop you. I can't use my regular passport. The Agency would be able to track me. So I need an outside forgery. I know a guy. Simon saw my passport in Morocco, so the stamps would have to match exactly. A replacement will find its way to you before your flight. Now, Simon will probably fly you through Mexico. It's the easiest way to get Americans into Cuba. Once I land, there will be eyes on me. Cuba has always been a hotbed of Russian spies. They'd love to catch an outside player. So don't get caught. Spycraft wouldn't be that much fun without the bad guys, now, would it? Hey, are you busy? I'm stuck on something. I could use an extra set of eyes. And I'll let you insert your own blind joke. I'd love to, but I'm on my way out. I just came to check a few emails. I like it. Banker's hours. Make that banker's half day. Hey, you want to grab a beer later? I'll try not to smash a bottle over anyone's head, but I can't make any promises. As nice as that sounds, I'm on my way out of town. Did Joan put you on an assignment I don't know about? I'm taking a few days vacation. Really? This from the woman who's never taken a day off work for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Kwanzaa. It was a spontaneous thing. Now, that is more like the Annie Walker that I know. Where you going? Michael's taking my sister away, and they need me to watch the girls. What about Michael's parents? Didn't they just move out there? They're on a cruise. And they just now asked you to come out? They're not big planners. Listen, I'm gonna be late for my flight. I'm fine, Auggie. We'll catch up when I get back. I've never pulled a job like this in three hours. I included a rush fee. This is fully biometric? I used a blank R.F.I.D. chip from the actual Thai facility the GPO uses. - And she can travel anywhere? - Any checkpoint in the world. It routes to a dummy U.S. government site. No one here will know she left the country. You match the stamps? And the crease on the Morocco page and the coffee stain on the German stamp. Trust me--I've done one or two of these before. And this needs to be better. As long as she has that passport with her, she'll be fine. That's all I need to know. Good luck. Hola Victor. ¿Como estas? Gracias. All that money, and you could only afford two wheels? Well, you're welcome to take a cab if you'd prefer. ♪ Annie, do me a favor-- toss me your passport. Oh, that's okay. I can hold on to it. This isn't America. You don't leave something that valuable just lying around. What's the matter? You weren't planning on running away, were you? Yeah. I was hoping I'd meet a strapping young habanero and start a family down here. Well, until then, you'll have to make do with me. [Can You Save Me? by Apple Trees and Tangerines] ♪ Covert Affairs 03x07 ♪ Loving the Alien Original Air Date on August 28, 2012 == sync, corrected by elderman == ♪ Can you save me ♪ from this nothing I've become? ♪ ♪ it's just something that I've done ♪ ♪ I never meant to cause you worry ♪ ♪ Don't you blame me ♪ for this nothing I've become ♪ ♪ it's just something that I've done ♪ ♪ I never meant to show you my mistakes ♪ Hello, Lena. These drones are gonna put us out of work, Joan. Have you spoken with Annie recently? She doesn't work in my division anymore--you know that. Well, I'm sure you know she applied for a transfer out of the D.P.D. And yesterday she filed for a week off. - She has vacation days, right? - Mm-hmm. Many. Well, that's what they're there for--vacation. I'm sure she just needed to recharge her batteries. In all the time I've known Annie, she's never been one in need of recharging. If she needs the time off, just give her her space. Look, right there. Joan, maybe we'll hang on to our jobs after all. You still haven't answered my question. Do you know where Annie is? No idea, Joan. Look, I know it's not my place to give you advice, but I'd ease up on the micromanaging. In my experience, operatives only rise as high as you let them. You're right. It's not your place to give me advice. Sorry for the wait. I was briefing the commissioner about what we found on Jai's murder, which is still not a hell of a lot. Well, that's why I'm here, sir. I want back on the investigation. You know I can't do that. I've already appointed a new head of O.S.P. And what have they found? Look, I understand the mountain of pressure you're under to make heady, and I think I can help. Absolutely not. I have read every interview that Henry wilcox has given since the murder. I said no. - May I ask why? - Henry Wilcox is a dead end. He will waste hours of your time pontificating and obfuscating or, worse, send you down a rabbit hole of epic proportions. I am willing to take that risk. I think he's holding something back. This isn't your decision. Well, with all due respect, sir, I think you're being myopic. Operatives who get arrested in bar fights don't get to question their boss's judgment. [Omara Portuondo's Tal Vez] ♪ This song... it's beautiful. "Perhaps if I had kissed you again, things would be different now." How tragic. A lifetime filled with "perhaps." No. I think it's about... opportunity-- jumping first and asking questions later... seizing every moment so you never have regret. I love the way you see the world. How do I see the world? The way I wish I could. ♪ Okay, and last one-- termination order on Operation Sundown. Initial and sign. I will be thrilled if we never waste another man-hour on this hail Mary. And I am going to need you for a half hour at the deputy's meeting. I'm on the hill all afternoon. With who? Senator Gottfried. This wouldn't have anything to do with him being on the Foreign Relations Committee, would it? Well, the ambassadorship may come up. Smart move-- he'll be a key swing vote during confirmation hearings. I thought you were firmly against this, against us moving. Why the change of heart? Because it's clear how much it means to you. What happens if you actually get it, we'll have to deal with. Until then, I am here to support you. But... Oh, I knew there was a "but." You got to put on a full-court press. You got to lobby, politick, schmooze. And a 45-minute sit-down at the Hart Office building is not gonna cut it. What were you thinking? Dinner, our house, with wives. - You hate hostessing. - I know. I do. But I can put on a good show if I need to. These are hands-down the best croquetas I've ever had. This was my favorite part of living on the move as a kid-- all the new food. I'm sure it was a relief to get away from the Moscow cuisine. You got that right. At eight years old, I'd had enough borscht to last a lifetime. You defected when you were eight? - Mm-hmm. - You must've been scared. My sister was even younger. We were terrified. My parents woke us up in the dead of night, told us we were leaving and never coming home. But they also told us not to be frightened, because they were bringing along this weathered old steamer trunk that contained everything we needed to be protected from danger. And what was in it? It didn't matter. We felt protected. You grew up in D.C.? Mm, I moved around a lot, like you. I was a military brat. Did you find that hard- adjusting to all the moves? - At first. But my dad bought me a little souvenir postcard every city we went to. That made me feel like home. I know it sounds silly-- a postcard from the place you just moved to, but from a guy like my dad, who had trouble showing emotion... I knew it didn't come easily. Does he still send you postcards? Not anymore. I seem to have lost track of the time. I'm late for this meeting. What was that you said about balancing business and pleasure? I'll be back at the house in an hour. In the meantime, try the plantains. They put the croquetas to shame. What are you doing? You here for pleasure? I had to come look for you. Come on, let's go. Get in. Glad you called. I've had this line scrubbed and back-checked, and I'm clear to talk on my end. Can you speak freely? You can. Did you get eyes on Simon's project? I did, but it was a little hard to get cell reception 12 miles outside of Havana. I know exactly where you were. Get me the latest GSA images of Lourdes, Cuba. Yep. Used to be KGB's largest listening station outside of Russia until they closed it in '01. From a bird's eye, it looks like the facility is still dormant. I heard it loud and clear. Heard it? It's already operational? Jesus. With the microchip substrates that Simon took, they can turn Lourdes into a cellular jamming station-- disrupt cell signals, FAA communications, military command and control. This is huge. And this is the kind of find that makes careers. Now, you got to get your ass back home so we can plan our next move. Easier said than done. There's a little problem with our art project. It got locked away for safekeeping, and I can't get out of here without it. Even if you could somehow sneak out without your passport, an escape like that would burn you with Simon. It's just not worth it. My host has a new friend. Is he 6'0", 190 pounds, with a scar on his right arm? That's him. Yeah, that's Hector Serrano, FSB's top man in Cuba. Look, you know I'm not risk-averse, but Serrano's not the kind of guy you actively seek out. He's a former FSB hit man with two dozen confirmed kills, including one of ours. As long as he's on the ground, you are not safe. Simon? There you are. I came home, and you weren't here. - I-- - Your foot. Are you hurt? Oh, no. I tripped earlier on the-- on the cobblestones, and I-I must have cut it and--and not noticed. Well, I'm glad you're safe. You must be Annie! Uh, I am. I forgot to tell you we have dinner guests. These are my dear friends Blanca Gonzalez and her boyfriend, Hector Serrano. It's lovely to finally meet you. We've heard so much about you. Yes. So much. ♪ You found a real catch. We just love Simon. Really? How often do you get to see him? Every few weeks. He's doing some business deal with Hector. That must be frustrating-- always losing your boyfriend to a business meeting. Tell me about it. Hopefully I'll have him back to myself soon. He tells me this deal is basically finished. Three mojitos-- the personal vice of your countryman and fellow Cubaphile, Ernest Hemingway. I wonder what Hemingway would think if he saw our country after 50 years of the embargo? I bet he'd still be enchanted with its natural beauty and free-spirited people. I know I am. Mm. We hear that sentiment a lot from tourists. I find it incredibly condescending. Hector, please. Annie is a guest in our country. Americans tout our natural beauty and demonize Castro, but it's the embargo that is choking our economy. Well, I hope they repeal it. I'm sure the influx of tourist dollars would be a boost to the economy. Hmm. Typical capitalist fantasy. Enough political debate, Hector. Let's eat. Perfect timing-- the Gottfrieds are t-minus 30. This is your doing, mind you. How is that possibly my fault? Thanks to the "full-court press," the entire foreign-policy establishment wants their pound of flesh. And one of them wants you to join the cast of Deadliest Catch? The assistant secretary of state for East Asian affairs is apparently an avid fly fisherman. And so now you are too. Or I will be next weekend, when we go to the Upper Potomac together. Don't laugh. Come on, help me take these tags off. If I knew I was getting visitors, I'd have worn my good jumpsuit. Wouldn't make any difference to me. You could be wearing a prom dress for all I know. Well, I'll get to the point. I've read the transcripts, and it is clear to me that you're holding something back that could help with the investigation into Jai's murder. What gives you that impression? Call it a gut feeling. If I knew something that would help find my son's murderer, why in the world would I hold that back? Maybe you're delusional enough that you think that someday you're gonna get out of here... and you can solve it yourself. Or maybe you're just enough of an asshole to hold back out of spite. Just like an Arthur Campbell disciple... thinking grandstanding will get you somewhere. Take me back to my cell. I'm not done with you yet. Prison time has stripped me of most of my privileges, but I still enjoy one-- ending bullshit visitations when I see fit. ♪ You'll have to forgive my boyfriend. He's not accustomed to women talking to him like that. Oh. He should visit the states. I'd like to see that. I have to say, you're not what I expected. Most of Simon's girlfriends want something from him-- trips, jewelry, marriage. Oh, I'm in no rush to get married. And I don't like expensive jewelry. I'm just enjoying the moment. Well, whatever it is, it must be something special. I've never seen Simon this happy before. ♪ Yeah. This way, all the way around. Can we dance a slow one? Yeah. ♪ May I? Maybe a little later. It's bad luck in Cuba to turn down a dance. And I really would love to get to know your new friend. - Sure, it sounds fun. - Okay. I've never met a mid-level museum worker with so many opinions on international affairs. Well, I travel a lot. It's a perk of the job. Well, what about your sister? What kind of work does she do? My sister? Danielle. You mentioned her earlier, no? - No. - Oh. It must have been Simon, then. He talks about you a lot. Thanks for the dance. Anytime. ♪ ♪ I'm warning you. Let this go. I have it under control. There you are. Sorry. I-I think I had too many mojitos. I just... needed to lie down. Well, I hope tonight wasn't a complete waste. Did you at least manage to have some fun? - I mean, Blanca's great. - Mm. And Hector's, uh... He's an acquired taste. What did you and Blanca talk about? Honestly... you. She said she'd never seen you so happy. She's right. I've never met a woman like you... ever. And I don't think I ever will again. I'm sorry. Is that too forward? This is new territory for me. No, it's new for me too. I, uh... Maybe this trip and the juggling everything... Too much, too fast. I think you're right. Maybe we should go home tomorrow. Yeah, I think-- I think that'd be best. ♪ So I'm the best man, standing in front of... 300 people? Mmhmm. And I hear "beep, beep, beep." So I silence my pager. It was a pager. 90 seconds later, "beep, beep, beep, beep." You got to be panicking at this point. Think about how the guests feel. Everyone assumes it's an international emergency. I know I have to take it, but it's in the middle of the ceremony, so I go back down the aisle, past the 300 people, and out the door. Everyone must think China's invaded Russia. Everybody's thinking China's invaded America. So Arthur's outside making the call, and the priest-- and I swear to God this is true-- Starts leading the church in a prayer for our nation's safety. So what was the page? Low battery. You two are like a comedy team. Yeah, we're thinking about taking our show on the road. Well, from what I hear, you'll get to do that sooner rather than later. Come on, we both know you invited us here to talk about the ambassadorship. - Guilty. - No. It wasn't necessary. You're a shoo-in for the nom, and you're gonna sail through the confirmation hearings. Are you sure? From what I hear, these things are a bit of a trap game. No, no, the committee loves the idea of having a heavyweight in Beijing. And for you, the timing couldn't be better. Well, everyone knows that your trilateral commission hasn't come up with any answers. Here's your parachute. Let your replacement take the fall. You think that's why I want the ambassadorship? Well, no, of course that's not why you want the job. Call it a side benefit. So you think I'm gonna let the next guy clean up my mess, while I'm 7,000 miles away sipping scorpion bowls in Beijing. Okay, relax. It was an innocent comment. From a career politician-- that's got to be a first. I don't know that I have what it takes to join your ranks. I'm afraid I'll be bored out of my mind if all I did all day long was look out for my own ass. Jesus, I didn't mean anything by it. - Why don't I get the dessert? - I'm not hungry. I got this. I got it. Change of plans-- my jet doesn't arrive at Jose Marti till noon. That gives us time to squeeze in some sightseeing, one last bit of Cuba before you go. Hector's gonna join us... so we'll take the convertible. Where's Blanca? She wasn't feeling well. I thought I'd let her sleep in. Are you sure we have time? Don't look so worried. The beauty of private aviation-- you never have to miss your flight. I don't think they allow tourists. Exactly. This isn't one of those tourist traps from the guide books. Hola. They don't allow talking on the floor. You'll see why. The lector kept the workers educated and entertained. Nowadays, most factories outside Cuba use iPods, but these guys still use the real thing. I want to show you the storage room. It's been around since the '20s. After you. - Go ahead. - I insist. Simon! Simon? We have to go... now. Here we are again... another end. When will I see you again? I need to go home for a few days, take care of some... loose ends. But soon. I got you a gift. It's nothing fancy, but it's a little more portable than a steamer trunk. I love it. I finally did open that trunk when we got to London, by the way. My imagination had built the contents up so much, I-- my curiosity just got the better of me. And? What was inside? Clothes. Not guns, not knives... clothes. You were protected by your parents' love. Love makes us do remarkable things. Oh, wait. I almost forgot. You'll need this. As you know, working at the CIA gives me certain privileges too. And they include summoning a federal prisoner whenever I damn well please. Fair enough. Guard, hold all my calls. I'm here to tell you a story out the first time I met Jai. Langley was buzzing. The son of a DCS was coming off the farm. And everyone said he was arrogant, entitled, selfabsorbed. Just like dad. Exactly. But that wasn't my impression of him. Maybe it's because I was blind and I couldn't see the $1,000 John Lobbs or that hardened glare. What was your impression, then? Jai had this unstoppable thirst for knowledge... A yen for solving puzzles and understanding the complexities of this world. He got that from his mother. If I did have something... what could you give me in return? Nothing. You want to keep playing these angles, Jai's murder will remain unsolved. But for once, instead of son trying to emulate father, maybe father should try to emulate son. Chantilly Lofts, Unit 317. What is that? The location of Jai's safe house. So how long are we gonna wait before we talk about last night? Oh, what's there to talk about? I got a trash can full of broken plates that might jog your memory. That might have been a bit excessive. If you wanted off the short list, you chose a hell of a way to announce it. Well, maybe I don't want it as much as I thought, not if it means selling out the Agency. But it doesn't. Jai's murderer is still out there. And the investigation will continue without you. Arthur, at some point, you're going to leave the Agency, and you're going to have to leave something unfinished. - Not this. - Why? I mean, why now? Why agree to be vetted, get this far down the line, and then change your mind? I can't leave yet. Gottfried was right. To a military man, desertion is the single worst accusation you can make. Since when do you care about what some senator thinks? What's going on here? We better hit the road if we're gonna miss the construction traffic on 66. And Serrano didn't physically threaten Simon? It wasn't self-defense? Not at all. So he killed his handler. That is the most transgressive thing a spy can do, and he did it to protect you. That explains why he took you on a mission, ignored the red flags. He's in love with you. The question is, what do I do about it? You're already doing it. You're forcing Simon to act irrationally. Now we can manipulate him. - Manipulate him to do what? - Whatever we want... Whatever we need. What else did you think we were doing here--playing house? This is what we set out to do. This is why we inserted you with Simon in the first place-- to build his trust. And there is no greater form of trust than love. Annie, this is it. This is the brass ring. Now go home. Get some rest, okay? == sync, corrected by elderman == One year earlier Hello Hello I have no money but I'll have a drink ifyou hire me - Have you worked in a bar before? - No But it's not rocket science Another triple sec, please Thanks - Can you start tomorrow? - Yes Oh, Claire. Do you want a drink? Come on Their daughter died She was 15 That's awful lf you like tragedy, you're in the right place Do you know somewhere I could stay? Here you are You can stay until you find somewhere lt's perfect. Thanks I'll let you settle in Do you want a drink? Look. This isn't a good idea Here Cheers I should go Please, just relax What is it? Camille is here What? She says she loves you And she misses you She misses Léna, too What happened wasn't your fault Tell her I love her She has gone Present day Where am I? In hospital You were in a coma I can't feel my legs Don't worry. That will come back Can you remember your name? Yes I think so Well? Lucy Lucy Clarsen Do you recall what happened? No What is wrong with me? Why are you looking at me like that? You were healed by a miracle The Returned What are you doing? It's over. The plant is flooded You can't just leave - You said... - You should go, too lt's pointless staying Can't we do something? Forget it We tried everything. The power won't come back Pass me the crowbar What are you doing here? Welcome. Have a seat I'm afraid I can't offer you anything Any idea when the power might come back? You can stay at the Helping Hand. We have electrical generators And supplies Not to mention dormitories if you want to sleep in the warm Thank you for coming I'm sure you realise we have something important to say A few days ago, Claire had an experience that was absolutely extraordinary She shared it with me and I'm grateful Now we both want to share this news with you Because we trust you and because we need your help What you are about to see goes beyond logic and will change how you see the world You will have to accept it From now on, we are all on the same journey Camille? Camille? Claire you know this is impossible But it's real If Audrey came back, you would know her immediately Camille has come back to us And it's our duty to make her welcome Does that mean that other children will come back? It gives us hope that perhaps there may be others Does she remember what happened in the coach? No And have you seen the other children? Did they talk to you? Why you? Now that Camille is here perhaps Audrey's turn will come Like Pierre says, Camille's return gives us all hope Easy for you to say There must be a reason why she's the one who came back Why her? Camille! I'll go Don't treat her like a monster Please, she needs our help. It's not her fault Go away! I never should have listened to you People fear what they don't understand imagine how they feel What about them? Did they ever wonder how I feel? They are just like Léna and Frédéric They look at me like I'm a monster You can be so selfish What? Have you ever wondered how your sister might feel? You came back. Do you realise how lucky you are? You're a miracle, Camille And what do you do with it? Nothing It looks like I'm wasting my time Wait What should I do? Make yourself useful Help those who need it How? You can ease their consciences That's a tremendous power We can't keep him for long The generator is running low. We have to evacuate is he dead? What do you think? Did you shoot him? Yeah Good work Right in the heart. He died instantly Tell me ifyou find anything odd Like? I don't know. Just odd Can you go to your room, please? Go to your room - Is it about the ghost? - Go to your room, please - The ghost has gone - Where to? Back where he came from How do you know he won't come back? Because now he knows we don't need him The police will come and ask you questions They will want to know if you knew the ghost You should say no The first time you saw him was last night in the garden You were scared and you called me OK? Why do I have to lie? Because if you tell the truth they won't believe you They don't believe in ghosts lt's our secret OK? Go to your room is he dead? He was already dead That wasn't him Whoever it was, it wasn't him Then what was it? I couldn't let him torture you like that, Adèle What makes you think he's really dead? What if he comes back again? If he does, I'll be here I'll always be here Do you believe me? Come in. I've finished - See you later - See you Hello How are you feeling? Better, thanks I feel like I know you I was there when they took you away Give me your hand Were you here while I was asleep? I was keeping an eye on you Just in case your attacker came back Thanks, Alcide You know my name? Yes, you told me when you came in Really? That should be OK ln you get What is it? is something wrong? Should I leave you alone? Of course - Gentlemen - Sir - Are you OK? - Yes, sir Here. Two boys were caught in the cemetery searching a grave I'm dealing with it Searching a grave? Why did you do it? It wasn't desecration was it? What were you after? It was Camille Séguret's grave Did you know her? Where is the body? When the watchman caught you, it was gone lt wasn't there - Where is it? - We never touched it Where is Camille Séguret? What do you mean? She was buried there, wasn't she? So where is she now? I think she's back Back? Back from where? From the dead It's hard to describe First, I saw a great light that dazzled me lt felt like I was going blind And deaf. I couldn't hear anything Then gradually, I was able to make out figures around me The other children? Yes But I couldn't see them very well l just felt their presence like spirits I remember Audrey was one of them She called to me Victor? Come here Why did you come to see me? is it because I'm like you? It's because of the fairy The fairy? What fairy? She's supposed to protect me until Mum comes back Mum said I would recognise her Who is this fairy? You think it's me? No, I'm not a fairy Fairies have nice hair, pretty dresses... They are always smiling They have magic wands I don't have any of that Can I? You remember Victor I'm not here for him What is it, then? It's the power failure We don't know how long it will last, so we're checking everyone is OK People are worried. The shops have shut Do you have all you need? Yes, I'm fine. Thank you You could always stay at my house lt's better there I have a fireplace and supplies Are you asking me to move in with you? - Well, I suppose... - l thought you didn't like children Me? - It was you who didn't want... - OK, just leave it Anyway, we're not coming Your friends are here We may have caught your attacker ln fact, he could be dead Simon Delaître. He attacked the waitress from the bar Simon Delaître? He can't hurt you now Hi - Hi - Has Léna called? No I told the police. They don't care. They think she has just run off Who is in here? Hello, Jérôme I might have guessed. What have you told them? The truth Jérôme, listen to me Frédéric knows about Camille. She needs protecting She needs protecting from him You can't trust him. He's a fraud, but you can't see it Please, stop it Camille, go upstairs Can I talk to Alice Séguret? - Your niece - What is this about? Shouldn't you be looking for our missing daughter? Exactly. We think your niece is involved - She is your niece, isn't she? - Yes - Is she here? - No - When will she be back? - l don't know. She has her own life Tell your niece to come to the station With identification ls that clear? Thinner, like that Number 111? And the eyebrows? Thicker Those. Number 725 And the eyes Those ones Are you sure? Yes, it looks like him For fuck's sake Don't let me stop you Sorry, did I wake you? It's all right Can I borrow some clothes? I'll see what we have I won't be long You shouldn't be in here - Are these yours? - No, my brother's Here Thanks Whose are they? Your ex's? They were my mother's Turn around That stuff really worked. The pain has gone completely OK, you can turn around It suits me, doesn't it? Are you closed? The power is down. What else can I do? So you're hitting the bottle? Look familiar? He attacked your waitress Ever seen him in the bar? No idea I have a lot of customers Put it up inside Call me if anyone knows him Go easy on the whiskey The beds aren't great But you will sleep well enough I never sleep anyway Camille is in danger, but so are others I have to warn them You're safe here Christian and Xavier will keep watch - l'm staying, too - Ifyou like You're very welcome Let me in Open up. It's Toni Open the door, Mum Please You have to forgive me I had to stop Serge somehow He was out of control Mum I should never have done it I never should have killed Serge I'm sorry, Mum - Mum - What are you doing? She doesn't want to see you Haven't you hurt us enough? The police are after you They know you attacked Lucy Stay here. It's safer Both of you You will both be safe I'll protect you I'm your big brother Léna? Stay there What are you doing? Who are you? Put the knife down Tell me I told you the truth My name is Serge I'm Toni's brother What happened to you? Are you dead? Calm down I won't hurt you Here What do you want? To help you and Victor He isn't safe here I know what happened to him. He's not the only one I don't know what you mean lf you stay, you're putting Victor at risk Soon people like him will be hunted lt's safer at the Helping Hand Not a chance Pack your things The power could be down for a while Do you want to go out? No Shall we play a game? OK Truth or dare? OK Truth How old was I when Dad killed himself? You weren't born So he never saw me? No Did he want to die because of me? No Was it because of you? It's complicated You're too young to understand I'll ask Thomas. At least he will tell me the truth It's natural that you want to know But the truth is, I have no idea You don't know why he did it? No Was he unhappy? Sometimes, he was Other times, he wasn't Why was he unhappy? I don't know lt was a kind of illness Even when he was a child? - Was he unhappy? - Yes When he died, did he know I was going to be born? Yes Do you think it was my fault? I know it wasn't Come here He was very happy when he heard I was pregnant lf he comes back can we ask him why he died? Yes, maybe Come with me - Anyone here? - Yeah This place looks like a bomb site What happened? This morning the bastards took all my food - And since you're doing nothing... - Yeah, OK - Were there many of them? - l don't know Have you ever seen him? I didn't see anyone Does he look familiar? He looks like Toni's brother Do you know him? Sort of. He's a nutter He used to live above the dam But I mean that was ten years ago - Thanks - Stop by the station Do you want any more? Please Hello, Camille We used to see you at school. We're Esteban's parents Hello, Mr Koretsky Yes, I remember I'm sure a lot of people ask you this, but we wondered... Esteban is fine Have you spoken to him? Spoken? No, I wouldn't put it that way But our souls have made contact Did he mention... well us? Yes He said he misses you He can't wait to see you again Esteban is at peace He's waiting for you He knows you will meet again What is she saying? She's giving them hope Look at her I've never seen her so happy since she came back She has found what she needed What? A sense of purpose lf anything had a purpose, wouldn't we know? You scared me I decided to take you up on your offer - You kept your keys? - Yeah You can take my room ifyou like I'll sleep here with Victor lt's up to you It wasn't the cannibal who died yesterday I think I sensed it But you're safe here is anyone home? Toni Hey, wait... - What do you want? - Stay calm, Toni Don't move Don't do this, Toni Get lost He can't see you You have to go The bar is closed No one will find you here Are you hungry? No I can't stay anyway What will you do? Go and see Adèle? Who are you? Your guardian angel Símon has gone Are you sure? I'm comíng OK Be quick What is it? What happened to you? Why did you want to die? I didn't want to die I saw you I saw you 1500)}ONE YEAR AGO Hi. I'll have a drink. Have you ever waited tables? But it can't be that hard. please. Thanks. You can start tomorrow? You want a drink? Come on. Beer? Their daughter died. – She was 15. – That's horrible. you're at the right place. Do you know a place where I could stay? Stay here until you find something better. It will be fine. Thanks. I'll let you unpack. You want a drink? I don't think this is a good idea. Here. Cheers. I'm gonna go. Just relax. What is it? Camille is here. What? She says she loves you. She misses you. She misses Léna too. What happened to her wasn't your fault. Tell her I love her. She's gone. 1000)}TODAY Where am I? At the hospital. You were in a coma. I can't feel my legs. Don't worry. It will gradually come back. Do you know your name? I think. So? Lucy Clarsen. Do you remember what happened to you? What is it? Why are you staring at me? You're a miracle. 268)}What's going on? 268)}There's nothing more we can do. The plant is flooded. 268)}You can't just leave. You said... 268)}You should do the same. There's no point in staying. There must be something we can do. Nope. We tried everything. The power won't come back. Crowbar. What the hell are you doing? Please have a seat. I have nothing to offer. Will the power be back soon? You can come to the Helping Hand. We have a generator. and dorm rooms if you need to stay. Thanks for coming. I asked you to come because of something important. Claire had to... deal with something... absolutely extraordinary. She told me about it. And I thank her for that. we want to share that news with you. and because we need your help. and changes our take on the world as we know it. You'll have to accept. We now share a common destiny. Camille? It can't be. It's the truth. you would know it's her. Camille is back with us. And we should all welcome her. Does it mean... that other kids will come back? She's giving us hope that others might come back. You are safe. I am so glad. It was a pleasure to meet you. Doug: Thanks a lot. Ferrara: Have a good night, pal. All right, man. I'll see you. [ Car beeping ] Let's say some guy drives you home because you were too drunk and you could kill yourself or somebody else. What do you think that's worth? Nothing! Nothing! Don't give him a dime, and one day, you, too, will be driving a Bentley. [ Sighs ] Ferrara: Coming up... We did call Zingo! ...Things just keep getting weirder as we continue our competition for tips in San Francisco. Wow. Get a room. It's our 25th episode, and to celebrate, they've given me control of the show. Now, okay, admittedly, started out with a bang with the crash, but now you're driving around San Francisco on a pink scooter. What's up with that? It's not a pink scooter, and what could be better? You get to drive around in these amazing cars and get paid for it. Amazing cars? You're in a beetle. At least Adam got to drive a Bentley. Yeah, but, I mean, the whole goal was to make money, and I was 20 bucks up, and the night was still young. [ Rock version of "When the Saints go marching in" plays ] Wood: Oh! Yeah! - What's up, baby? - What's up, guys? - Hey, I'm Rutledge. Rutledge. How are you guys? Hi. Barrette. How are you? Barrette. Nick, right? Here are the keys. Great. Don't [Bleep] It up. Okay. I'm just gonna pack this up. I'll see you there in a minute. Wood: The owner seemed a bit punchy, but his ride was great... A $45,000 2009 Grand Cherokee Hemi. I knew a lot about this jeep, and I had a feeling my knowledge was about to get me a big tip. Jeep really started, like, the luxury SUV. With these in America in '93, I think it was... great cars. It's kind of strange 'cause the car has a lot of power for... Geez. Hello. You know, for what it is. It's a strong car. It just doesn't... get the power down. Ferrara: At around 11:00, I got a call from my next pick-up. I hadn't made any money yet and hoped my next passenger would be more generous than captain climate control. - Andrew? - Andrew. Adam. Nice to see you. Adam, nice to meet you. All right. I'm here to get you home safe, my friend. [ Laughs ] Good. Good. After you. Thank you very much. Which way's your car? My car is right over there. This was a dream come true. I'd landed a custom '66 Mustang. There you go. All right. Thank you. [ Engine turns over ] There you go. I knew I had to go easy on her if I wanted a good tip. But I had to take a shot. How drunk are you? [ Laughs ] Had a few, I'd say, at least. [ Engine revs ] Oh, I will have you home in no time, my friend. Done. [ Laughs ] I don't want you to baby this thing, all right? You have nothing to worry about. Seriously. [ Both laugh ] Oh, that's sweet. This was great. If I could just keep him happy and not wreck his car, a healthy tip would be in my future. Don't baby that clutch. Come on. Give it a little gas. [ Engine revs ] [ Tires screech ] Perfect. [ Laughs ] There's no way Rutledge was having this much fun. You're the best driver that I have had yet. Wood: Okay, you guys. Well, this has just been wonderful. I am just gonna get my scooter and be on my way, so... [ Car beeping ] Thank you, guys. I hope you have a great night. [ Car beeping ] Wow. Get a room. Wood: I did such a good job setting the mood for this guy, he was too busy getting busy to give me a tip. So I still only had $20, and I hoped Adam hadn't been doing any better. Andrew #2: I'm gonna throw this out to you right now. Ferrara: Go ahead. 40 bucks, burnout right now, extra tip. Do it. You know what? I work for you. You work for me. [ Tires screech ] Oh, I like it when you drink. [ Laughs ] Hee-hee! Nice work. That was fun. That was really fun. That was [Bleep] Fun. All right, dude. Ferrara: Where else can you drive cool cars and get paid for doing a burnout? $40 richer, I headed back into the city for my next pick-up. I was 20 bucks up, but with only enough time for one more pick-up before the bars closed, I needed to make sure I chose a wealthy client. [ Cellphone rings ] "Honda Civic." I'll forward that to Rut. I wanted a bigger tip, so I held out for another car. And I'm glad I did. Oh, my gosh! I don't even want to know that. Woman #2: It's crazy. [ All talking at once ] No! No, no, no. I can't even begin to guess what they're talking about. Yeah. It's a package. I'm just saying. Look, I don't wear toe socks around town. I am out of my element. He was weird because I went to his... While Rut was off driving a cheap Civic, my last pick-up took me to the Castro district, and I was looking for a big tipper. Hi. Did you guys call Zingo? - We did call Zingo! - I'm Adam. - Ah, Bobby Pin. - Bobby Pin. I called 1-800-babe. Is that you? No, but thanks for asking. - Okay. - Okay, you're welcome. Where's your car? Okay. I'm gonna wear the hat. Oh, you are? This way, ladies. Okay. Do I look like a lady? It's tough to tell in this light. [ Laughs ] Bobby Pin and Rutledge's lost brother had a ram, which was ironic, yet somehow fitting. Which door are you getting in, Bob? Oh. I'm in over here. Are you gonna roll my fat ass in here? No. Not if I can help it. What does that mean? Are you calling me fat? I didn't call you fat. I just agreed with you. Which word? We're doing fine. Leg up. Okay. Wait, where'd my other purse go? - Can I have my glasses? - Sure. - And my jacket? - And your jacket. Okay. Okay. Coming up... Is something wrong with chubby and nerdy? ...Our competition for tips on the streets of San Francisco takes a strange turn. You know what? You should come in and check out the view. [ Laughter ] And later, Rutledge makes a scientific breakthrough. Oh, come on! You unplugged it! Ferrara: To celebrate our 25th episode, we've turned over control of the show to Rutledge. I've got Wood. So far, he almost killed himself. Whoa! Whoa! [Bleep] And now he had me working the streets of San Francisco for tips. Andrew? I had $40 to Rut's $20. Pow! Yeah! And we had our last passengers of the night. I want to know more about this boy that you say you like. I'm not sure about this. He was really nice. - I don't know. - He was nice. I thought he was nice. Really? You don't like him 'cause he's chubby and nerdy. No. That's not true. I'll be honest with you, I did not like him. Is something wrong with chubby and nerdy? - I like chubby and nerdy. - No. That has nothing to do with it. I was on scholars' bowl in 8th grade. [ Laughter ] Wood: Things were looking up. If these girls liked nerdy, I was in business. This is where I'm a little bit of a Honda nerd. You notice, you guys, the floor back there is flat? It is flat. That was a big design point, 'cause normally, cars have the little hump. Yeah, there's no hump so when you're riding bitch, you're not really riding bitch. Oh, my gosh. I actually never noticed that. So, Clark, this is your truck? Yeah, this is my truck. How did you arrive at buying a truck like this? I mean, I like it. It's a Hemi. What's a Hemi? Hemi is the top of the... It's a hemispherical. The top of the valve is... It's not flat. Wait, show me that again? The top of the... [ Laughter ] Let me just point out why chunky guys are great for hot girls... We'll always appreciate you, not like skinny dudes. It's true. It's true! - Skinny dudes... - My sister married down. Seriously. Oh, "married down"? We were just having this conversation. "Married down"? No, chunky is like marrying...sideways! [ Laughing ] "Sideways." Ferrara: Like, "drag race" to me means something totally different to you guys, I'm guessing. It's true. And I'm guessing "tranny" means something different to me than it does to you. What does "tranny" mean to you? "Tranny" means the transmission. Really? I think we need to get you a drag name. Oh, no. You're in San Francisco. I mean, everybody has a drag name here. Ready? Wait. We're naming her miss Tess Tosterone. "Miss Tess tosterone." You know what? That's pretty funny. You know what? You should come in and check out the view. I really... I got so many other calls. I really can't, but you guys have been great. Yeah, whatever. That's what they all say. Wood: Adam was given a $20 tip, bringing his total for the evening to 60 bucks. Gentlemen, you guys have a good night. And even though I laid on the charm with the ladies, they only gave me $10, making my tip total for the night $30, which meant Adam beat me at my own game. - Thanks for getting us home safe. - I hope you find a nice chubby fella. [ Laughs ] Thank you. Thank you for that. See you guys later. [ Horn honks ] Whoa! Oh! Whoa! Sorry. Our neighbors... Not okay with that. Sorry. Okay, well... Okay. Okay. Good night. Good night. [ Horn honks ] [ Honking continues, laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] Have you ever ridden a scooter in San Francisco? Why would I want to do a stupid thing like that? It's pretty fun. Now it's time for "Big Star, Small Car." And our star today is the actress Lake Bell. [ Chrs and applause ] Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. Are you ready to get out there and turn some laps? I'm ready as I'll ever be. Is that fair? 'Cause I know you like to drive fast on your own. Yeah. I mean, in my own car, in the safety and dangerousness of real traffic. We will see you in the hangar when you're done. Good luck. - Thank you. - Lake Bell! [ Cheers and applause ] Let's get some air going here. Wood: Now, the fastest lap time is 139.3, set by Stephen Moyer. [ Engine revving ] Let's see how Lake can do. And now to shift gears. Looking good so far. Little tap on the brakes. Keep it serious. Keep it really serious! Good focus. Car looks composed so far, heading down in towards the teardrop. [Bleep] Looking good, not super-fast through there. And there's a thousand people there. I hope I don't. Oh, my God. That's a lot of people to be looking right at me as I... don't shift. But this is where people make up a lot of time. So...radio stations in here? Little kday, little old-school rap for me. Definitely the first person to check out the radio on the backstretch, which is the fastest part of the course. Oh, my God. There it is. [ Tires screech ] A happy tire is a squealing tire. That's right, making stig proud. Good speed on the backstretch. All right, coming through the last turn here. Nice and smooth, and across the line. [ Cheers and applause ] Lake, come on up. So lovely. How are you? Have a seat, please. It's nice, right? How'd it go in the suzuki? It's fun to say the word "suzuki," you know? [ Laughter ] - So, that's, like, good news. - Right. But otherwise, in terms of fastness and times, all that... I hope I didn't let you down. Oh, come on. No, you didn't. Let's just get comfortable with being in the lower Echelon, and then I'll be more comfortable with it. Do I look comfortable? Everybody's gonna be comfortable because you are a beautiful woman that loves cars, so they already love you. I love cars. I love cars. How'd you get into cars? My padre, which is Spanish for father... Oh. I see. [ Laughter ] Owns and built racecar tracks. So ever since I was a little girl, we'd go to the auto shows and, you know, he would show me about cars. And I always pretended that... I mean, this was our big bonding moment all the time in the year. So, I get really into it, and then I realized as I got older and he'd be like, "why don't you want to race?" You know, I'd be like, "I'm the actress. I'm not gonna do that," you know? But really, I think I was just really scared, which is why today is so tough. So, I just was always interested in them, had an opinion a about what I liked, what I didn't like. So, if you know what you like in a car, what is it? What makes a great car to you? I am definitely attracted to... We're talking aesthetics, too. I drive a mini. I've driven a mini. Now I've had three minis. And what kind of driver would you say you are in that mini? Yeah, I drive really aggressively. It's like a video game to you, right? Yeah, it's tetris. I call it tetris driving. Oh. [ Laughter ] It's basically, I love traffic-tetris driving because you have to make traffic fun. Right. And traffic out here is awful. Yeah. It's so bad. So you have to look for the open spaces. It's really dangerous, but basically, you have to, like... You have to just get, like, aggressive in there. You know how it is. You know, you're like, "oh, this guy's gonna lag back?" I'm like, "I will totally get in there. You're taunting me." You know, it's like all this stuff. Do you watch to see who's on the phone - 'cause you know you can totally jump in front of them? - Oh, yeah. I take photos of license plates when I see people on the phone. I'm like, "amateur hour! Get the [Bleep] Out of my way!" That's what I would have said. You can edit that out. Now, as a woman with style, I feel like you probably can tell a lot about a guy by his car. Right. What would you think about a guy in a Corvette? What kind? What year? Let's say a Corvette Convertible, yellow, 2010. It's not gonna be for me. That's okay. [ Laughter ] A little older, and then it's sort of ironic and funny. And then I'm like, "this guy's got a great sense of humor." Is he wearing... [ Laughter ] "He's got a great sense of humor. " Yeah. Is he wearing a chain? Is he in an athletic tank? "An athletic tank"? Yeah. I believe that's the nice way of saying "wifebeater." That's the new way of saying the "W. B."? Yeah. Okay. Where I'm from, they call them wifebeaters because everyone on "cops" was wearing those. That's... by the way, everyone calls them wifebeaters. Okay. What's the new thing... "Athletic tank"? "Athletic tank" is what it says on the package. [ Laughter ] Is that a network... So, if a guy had, let's say, a classic land cruiser, what would you think? I love that car. Like FJ40? Yes. I had one. Really? Is it for sale? The last one I can think of... And this is just off the top of my head... A guy with, say, a 1983 Honda Civic Wagon? Just picked that out of thin air. Ah... Totally redone. No. Right. Interior/exterior? Yeah, plaid interior. Plaid? [ Laughter ] Don't know. I just picked that out of thin air, too. Right, right, right. Plaid buttoned-down interior. Mm-hmm. Maybe. Um... Yeah. He's a keeper. You'd think sensible... He's a keeper. ...Good dancer... He's a great guy, great dancer, kind of suave, knows his way around a kitchen. Fun at parties. "Knows his way around a kitchen"? Was that a fat joke? [ Laughter ] No! You could have said anything. A kitchen? No. That was like sexy chef. Oh, is that what it was? Yeah. Oh. Your lap... fast, slow? How did it feel? When you got out of the car, you thought, "that was..." Slow. Slow? Yes. Let's take a look at the board because the last show, Stephen Moyer blazed through with a 139.3. Well, he's on "True Blood." Yeah, he's a vampire, so they can do stuff like that. Tony Hawk is on there, Bret Michaels still. Now, this is mid-pack. This could be really good. Just go down. It's fine. You don't have to, like... Just follow me here, way down here. God, I'm so embarrassed. Buzz Aldrin, Bridget Marquardt, still enjoying being underneath an old man. You guys want to know her time? [ Cheers and applause ] Lake Bell, you did it in one minute... Fifty... Oh, dear. Five-point-four, bumping Buzz Aldrin. Congratulations. Listen, you did a wonderful job. Lake Bell, everybody. Congratulations. Whoo! Wood: Coming up... All right, we can do it. Hit it! ...It's payback time for Adam. [ Laughs ] Welcome back to a very special episode of "Top Gear," where we have given complete control to our very own man in plaid, Mr. Rutledge Wood. Thank you. Yes. Now, just to recap, you've almost killed yourself... Right. ...So far, you've lost a competition that you came up with. Yes. I cannot to see what you've got planned next. It's actually pretty cool. - Have you ever heard of range anxiety? - I have. That is when you're more than 1 mile from a waffle house, right? [ Laughter ] No! That is not what range anxiety is. I'm just saying. Range anxiety is where people who drive electric cars start to get nervous that their car won't have enough battery life to get them to their destination. Okay. So, the other day, I'm watching the movie "Top Gun," and it hits me. I know how to end range anxiety forever. - You're kidding. - No. Here's all I need. I need a retro-fitted electric British sports car, a power cable, a generator, a pick-up, and... Adam Ferrara. [ Laughter ] That's Adam Ferrara? Yep. No. No, no. [ Laughter ] Now it's Adam Ferrara. I thought the best place to conduct my experiment would be an airport runway in Compton. All I needed was a 2,000-watt generator, a test vehicle, and someone willing to risk their life for science. You look great. Look at this. I have cameras all over the place ha-ha! Really good. All right, so here's the plan... You're gonna be in the back of the truck. When I get a little low on juice, I want you to throw me the power cord right through the open top. Perfect. - Charge it up, be good to go. - Got it. Who's driving the truck? He is. Oh. That's why we got you the harness. I was pretty sure we were about to make history, continuing the American tradition of bold innovation. All right, Adam, here's what I want you to do... Throw me that football. It's got a plug in there. And I'll catch it. We're just two kids playing football. [ Laughs ] All right, stig, nice and easy. [ Tires screech ] Geez! Wait up. I can't catch up. He only knows one speed. [ Laughs ] Stig, slow down. Too much! All right, we can do it. Hit it! Stig, nice and easy. [ Tires screech ] I didn't factor into this experiment that the stig only knows how to drive fast. Eventually, he got bored with the truck, so I took advantage of his window of low-speed driving and gave it my best shot. All right, you ready? I'm ready. This is the slowest the stig has ever driven. Don't let him down. Wait a minute. Wait. The plane threw me. Come on. Just like a football. Throw it! I'm coming! Wood: All right, that didn't work. Ferrara: All right, you ready? I'm ready. [ Tires screech ] Yeah! Yes! Aw, come on, you unplugged it! You ready? Oh, I got it! I got it! Oh, crap! All right. Now, listen, we're gonna do it this time. I feel good about it. Right here. Right in the old breadbasket. Hit it! Touchdown! I got it! I got it! Thankfully, range anxiety would be a thing of the past. Yeah! Plug it in! Hold on. Stay with me. I'm plugging. We got it! You got it? I'm charging! Yes! - I'm charging while driving! - Great! - How many amps is that? - 15. I need 400. A couple days, you should be fine. We could do this as a service for people... Rut and Adam's electro refueling. I knew it would work! You're a man of science, Rutledge Wood. This is genius! Well, it's something. It only takes a truck getting 17 miles a gallon for an electric car to charge. You're saving the earth. One charge at a time. Excellent. [ Cheers and applause ] I don't know why you keep encouraging our man Rutledge. I mean, so, your solution for everybody who owns an electric car is to buy a gas-powered truck, a gas-powered generator, and have him lead you around everywhere you go. It's genius. [ Laughter ] It's about as good an idea as you getting behind the wheel of a race truck. Aw. [ Audience groans ] I'm just saying. All right, all right. I think the important thing to remember is, we've all learned something here today. Thank you. We've learned never to let you be in charge of this programme ever again. That's all we have. We see you next time. May I invite you all to join me in a toast? Yes, you can. One year down at uni and we're all still breathing. - Chin-fucking-chin. - Chin-fucking-chin! Yes, thank you. We'll be celebrating later right, Gemma? Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, it's going to be a bumpy ride to Heaven and back. Get off me! Chris, I've seen you in the shower. You won't be reaching Heaven. - Screw you, Eleanor. - Without your beretta? - Just shut the fuck up, all right? - She's only winding you up. - You're so easy. - Shh... I've got another announcement. I've got a placement with Grolier Gaunt. Hey, well done, dude. Six months in Edinburgh, starting in September. Edinburgh. It's the top six practice. Oil rights, shipping, all the high-powered clients. It's in Scotland, Paul. Smile, everyone! It's not ideal, obviously, but... It's only a train ride away. At least not America or something. - You could have spoken to me first. - Yeah. Uh, no, I just found out this afternoon. But look, look, look, you're right, I should have got you alone. - What's up, guy? - Cue the lap dog. Ah, Lukesta, what's up bro? So... - What've you got for us? - I've got all sorts. How's about a drop of the white stuff to kick us off? - Paul first, definitely. - Oh, no, I shouldn't do it. - Well, that's the whole point, mate. - Yes. - Go on. - Okay. - Been a good night? - Yes. Keep up the good work. Boy-O. - What's up, Felix? - Nothing's up. - You should make a move. - On Gemma? End of term, mate, anything goes. That's not true, actually. Certain things definitely do not "go." No matter how much you may want them to. It's just a matter of confidence. And this is an area where I may be able to help you out. I'm so horny. Come on, let's do it dirty, any way you like. - Hi, Gemma. - Hiya, Felix. - Can I have a word? - Okay. I mean, obviously, you're out of my league, but I thought I'd ask just for clarification purposes. Ask what? If you'd like to go out with me sometime for something like a coffee or a film? Sit. Paul. I don't think of you in the same way as you suspected. But I'm sure there's someone out there who does. You just have to be brave and keep looking. Okay, great, thanks. Seriously, you're very sweet and polite. Unlike certain people I know. So why do you go out with him? Truth or Dare, everyone. 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Yeah, yeah, get over it. Truth or Dare, Mr. Gimp? Truth, probably. - "Um, truth, probablah." - Truth it is. Be nice. So, Felix... tell me... if you had a golden ticket... and you could pick any girl... or any guy... to take upstairs for a very quick, no strings attached, no questions asked shag... who would it be? In fact, here... it is. Your "free shag" ticket. Who's the lucky girl, Felix? Who is it, Felix? Who's the lucky girl, Felix? I'm sorry. I want to play, I want to play, come on. Come on, let's play, Truth or Dare, bitch? You and me. Put your knob away, Chris, we're just mucking about. - Truth. Do I look like a muck to you? - No. - So why're you pissing on my patch? - I was just... - Ahem, I was just playing... - "I was just-just..." - just playing the game. - Oh, just playing... - You fancy your chances, do you? - No. No? Well, we better find out what's on offer, then. - I think Gem should know. - Just leave me alone! You little shi... Are you okay, Felix? I mean, fucking crying, the big fucking girl! You fucking crybaby doll, get off my fucking fanny! That was intense. - You are such a bastard. - And your point is? Yeah, walk away like a little girl. Cheers, geeze. Yeah. So how was Christmas? Pretty boring. It's good to be out and about again. - You didn't come to McGinty's. - No, I couldn't make it. - Okay. - How was it? Gemma was there. So? - I'm just saying is all. - You know she chucked me, right? Yeah, I heard. I am kinda kicking myself. She was one sweet shag. And they said romance was dead. But it was all that bloody Felix's fault Right, but that was months ago. - You sure it's such a big deal? - Yeah, it was to her. Said she'd seen the real me, blah-fucking-blah. I tell you what, I wouldn't mind landing another couple of punches on that twitchy little face of his. So why exactly are we going to his birthday party then? I don't know. Free booze, good times, the usual? His parents supposed to have a fuck-off pad. Yeah, it's huge. Proper country house. Old man's a judge. Kind of hoping she's gonna be there. ♪ "Ready to Die" ♪ ♪ Cordelia Fellowes Justin Goulay ♪ ♪ Come on in and take a seat ♪ ♪ And let me get you something to eat ♪ ♪ You must be tired from lack of sleep ♪ ♪ With all that death and all ♪ ♪ Some might scream and send you away ♪ ♪ But I'm just as happy ♪ ♪ for you here to stay ♪ ♪ Till the time comes for my dying day ♪ ♪ 'Cause I'm ready to die ♪ ♪ Please don't rush your decision ♪ And the petrol, please. It's, uh, ahem, £35.59. ♪ Ideally I'd like it to be payment ♪ ♪ But give in mind my selfish ways ♪ ♪ and hedonistic things ♪ I feel like sex-on-a-stick in this outfit. Lucky for Paul. You'd think. He's been back a couple of days now and we still haven't, um... - Think he might've lost interest? - In you? Hard to believe, right, honey? - "The Hautbois family own..." - It's the Hautbois family. - "Hautbois family..." - Yes. "owns extensive properties in Cambridgeshire and Suffolk." "Cedar Chase has been the family seat since the 17th century." "The grounds..." "include a private lake and several hundred acres of manageable land." Bugger me, they're loaded. What's this sudden obsession with money? It's not like any of us are paupers. Well, El's father filed for bankruptcy over the summer. Shit! I'm so sorry. Doesn't buy you happiness though, right? I mean, look at Mr. Gimp, case in point. Oh, he's all right. He's kinda cute. In a sweaty, loser kind of way. Uh, I know he brings out the maternal in you girls or something, but honestly, I think... I think he's a creep. Oh, you should write that in his birthday card. Did, uh, you just use the word "maternal" to describe me? ♪ "Time Fades" ♪ ♪ Tallulah Rendall ♪ ♪ You can lie for nothing ♪ ♪ You can lie for free ♪ ♪ Until your days grow old ♪ ♪ Until your days grow old ♪ Are we sure this is the right place? ♪ And your lines grow thicker ♪ ♪ Than the echo in your head ♪ ♪ As you lie watching your life ♪ ♪ She turns to pass you by ♪ ♪ As time ♪ ♪ fades ♪ ♪ And your time (time) ♪ ♪ fades (fades) away (away) ♪ Woo! Cor, my main man. - You all right? - Yeah, to see you. - Hello, boys. - Hi there, Gem. - And hi, Chris. - Hi, Luke. You guys been here long? Just got 'ere. So, uh, where's the party? Hello! Here we go. Hi there, we've, uh... we've come for the party. - The house is closed up. - Uh, we can see that, mate. We're friends of Felix. - Friends of Felix? - It's his birthday. You want the keeper's cabin. You'll have to follow the track through the woods about half a mile. Right, uh, thanks. You'll have to walk. The track's too rough for city cars. Oh, okay. "Welcome to the country, folks." - Is it just me or is this a bit spooky? - It's just you, pussy. - What's that? - Do it! It looks firm enough if we walk on the edge there. - Uh, sod that, you're carrying me. - What? Shoes, 300 quid, come on. Down you go. Spoken like a true lady. Paul, be careful! Luke, my shoes! Quickly, before they fall in the mud! - Oh, my goodness! - Ugh... elegance. Elegance! Hop on. Right, here we go. So... How've you been? Good. Great, actually. - You? - Okay. Course has definitely been an eye-opener Really? Yeah, you meet all these different kinds of people. I mean, most of 'em work their arses off to get what we just take for granted. Makes you realise you're not quite as special as you once thought. Bloody hell, Chris, that was bordering on self-deprecation. Is it working? You haven't changed at all, have you? - What's the matter? - Not funny... Great. Hi. - I'm Justin. - Ding dong. - Felix's brother. - Hi. Sorry about the mud. - Hi, I'm Gemma. - Nice to meet you. I'm Chris. All right, mate. Right, um... To explain, there's been a bit of a cock-up. Uh, Felix was due back yesterday, but he ended up getting stuck abroad. - In Chile, of all places. - Chile? Y-Yes, I know, it's bizarre. Uh, he's been volunteering on a hospital project, having a fantastic time, by all accounts The birthday bash was meant to be a surprise, and... well, then, his flight got cancelled. I've been ringing around putting people off, but I haven't done a very good job of it evidently. So, there's no party? I'm really sorry. But look, there-there's plenty to drink, plenty to eat, um, places to crash. Youre more than welcome to hang out here tonight, in fact I hope that you will. I know that Felix would approve. Come on, uh, let's do this. Uh, Luke, it is, uh, Luke, right? Yeah, that's right. Grand. Grab six glasses, my friend. I'm cracking open the bubbly. Let's have a party, then. - He is horny. - He's okay. Look at him. He's like a cage fighter, all wiry and feral. - And rich too, don't forget. - Ah... he's perfect. If only he wasn't talking to your boyfriend. What boyfriend? You do actually love Paul, don't you? Honey, right now, I can't even remember his name. So what do you do, Justin? - I'm an Army man. - Wow, respect. - Seen any combat? - Afghanistan. Three tours. Can't seem to get enough of the blood and dust. So you're with Eleanor, right? For my sins, yes. Though, I'm not... I'm not convinced it's going anywhere. - And we've done it but considering I... - Are you and Gemma an item? - got back... - Why? You interested? No. No, she's not my type. She's right up Felix's street though. Yeah, right. What's the joke? You think she's too good for him? Well, he made a move at the end of summer term. Didn't work out too well. - Nitrous? - Yes, please. No. More booze for me. Seems all right? "Seems" being the operative word, mate. This will cheer you up. Shame Felix can't be here, he's always talking about you guys. Really? Yeah. I mean, you're his friends, right? Yes, we are his very, very, very good friends, aren't we? Good old Mr. Felix. So, tell us about Chile. Musta been a big decision. Uh, the family thought it would do him good. Toughen him up finally. Make him big and strong like his big brother. Oh, my God. You have to feel this. It's like a rock, Gemma. You'll have to excuse her. - She isn't house-trained. - No, seriously, come on, have a big... - I'm so sorry. - That's all right. I'll sort it out. My God. Go on. Oh, sorry. Hi, there. You've got a lot of scars. I've been in a lot of scrapes. What about that one? That was teenage experiment. Wanted to see if I could take the pain. And could you? Comfortably. We're gonna do some balloons. I've got a better idea. Truth or Dare? Dare. Any suggestions? I think we need to sex this party up a bit. - What do you think, boys? - Yes. I can do sexy. Eleanor... I dare you... to give Gemma... a long... hot, wet kiss on the mouth. - Tongues? - Absolutely. Excuse me, do I get a say in this? - No, no, no, no, no... - Rules of the game, babe. Oh, yeah, I've still got it. And I hope you're not expecting me and Chris to do that. We don't need any of that queer shit. Yeah, that-that-that's what I'm saying. I get enough of that in the army. Okay, stop being weird and spin the bloody bottle. Truth or Dare, Gemma? Um... I don't know, truth. Will you take me back? - This is not the time. - It's the perfect time. Truth, Gemma. - I love you. - Oh, shit, Chris. Give me another chance. You know you want to. No! Sorry. Serious buzzkill, Chris. - I say the moment's passed, mate. - Yeah. I choose truth. - Felix isn't in Chile. - So... where is he? Well, what happened was that he hung himself. What? He hung himself. Right here, from that crossbeam there. - Is this a joke, mate? - No joke, mate. It's what happened. I'm in Afghanistan stewing in sweat and fear and blood. And when I get home, my kid brother's found swinging from the rafters. The groundsman cut him down. True story. But this is terrible. It's been hushed up, naturally, 16 generations of French Catholics. Suicide's about as shameful as it gets, not to menton a faggot cop-out. So why are we here? I need to get the bottom of it. Family honour's at stake. I need to know what happened. So... there's no party and it's just us, and what, this is some sort of set up? You're his friends. I thought you might be able to help. - Come on, Paul. We're going. - I can't drive. I'm pissed. There was a party at the end of the summer term. I think something might have happened there. He topped himself, mate. It's sad but it happens. I don't see what we can do about it. And you shouldn't have got us to come here under false pretenses. That's just out of order. This was in his pocket. Did any of you send it? This is the key. This is what drove him to it. "Truth or Dare, bitch!" What does this mean? I mean, you're his friends, you must have some idea. I've heard enough of this. I'm leaving. Who's coming? - But we can't take the cars. - Yeah, well, we can take our chances. I'm not finish yet, Chris. Well, I am. Step aside. I can't do that. - Oh, my God! - Just take it easy, take-take it easy. - Justin, don't! - Don't what? Do this? This is what happens when people don't follow orders. Luke, chairs, bring them. Do it! Justin, I don't know what it is you think we've done but really, you've got this wrong, all wrong. We haven't done anything. - You need to stop this. - Gemma, quiet. Eleanor! Gemma! Take a seat. This is it, isn't it? This is why we're here? I said take a seat. Luke! Their hands. Bind them. No phone calls, people. Use some bloody common sense. Luke, bring over the other chairs. Snap to it! Then collect up their car keys and their mobile phones. There's a lock box on the workbench. Chris... I know you're waiting, mate. Picking the right moment. This is not that moment. I'm quicker than you and I've got a gun. And, uh, I absolutely won't miss. Now, I need you to get up slowly, and you'll go to that chair, with your hands behind your back, and sit down. Can you do that for me? You don't have to say anything. Just nod if you're cool. I just need you... on that chair. You brought this... on yourselves, guys. But it can all be over very soon. I just need one of you to own up to sending the postcard... - and then we're all done here. - We don't know who sent the postcard. - Please, we don't know. - He doesn't care if we know or not. He just wants to screw with us. - Don't you? - You got a few moments to talk it over. I'll be outside. But I'll be watching. Luke... with me. Did you send the postcard, Luke? No way, man. I hardly knew your brother. No offence. I'm just a "party guy", I bring the drugs and mix the drinks. Shallow as fluck, seriously. They should be thanking you, Luke. If you hadn't have helped out, things might have got a bit more... messy. You're a good man. This business with the postcard. I don't know, maybe you should just... - let it go. - I can't do that, mate. I need answers. You can see that, right? Yeah, I mean, you're obviously upset about what happened. I am upset, Luke. I'm very upset. I don't have to play these games. Of course not. This is fucking fucked up. It's what you said, Chris. "Truth or Dare, bitch!" It's what you said to Felix! What are you trying to say? - That I sent the postcard? - Well, I know I didn't send it. You bitch, you're gonna set me up, aren't you? - You're gonna tell him about the fight. - Calm down, Chris. - Don't tell me to calm down! - Chris! Shut the hell up. That arsehole is going to get us killed! He says he didn't send it. He said, "Truth or Dare, bitch." Did you? It's not a secret. Other people heard. They could've passed it on. Yeah, but you're the one that said it. So what if I said it? Why the fuck would I write on a postcard for Christ's sake? - It's because I chucked you, isn't it? - What? I said it was 'cause of the way you treated Felix. I said that was why I was dumping you. - Shit! - I didn't send the postcard! If Chris says he didnt send the postcard then he didn't send the fucking postcard End of discussion. All of us are in deep shit here. All of us. Now let's focus on getting out of here, okay? Now keep twisting at your tape. Gaffer's strong but it stretches. One of us might be able to work a hand free. So tell me about the party. - Whatcha wanna know? - Did you see Felix there? Yeah, I-I saw him. Did you talk to him? Did he seem all right to you? He was good, you know? He was fine. Chris mentioned something with Gemma. Uh, Felix fancied her. I told him to go for it, you know. I said, end of the term, anything goes. - You think she was out of his league. - No way! He just needed to be confident, 'cause that's what the girls like. Just a bit of confidence. So you sold him drugs? It was just a couple of lines, I swear, I was just trying to help. That was en error of judgement. I'm just a "party guy." Gemma, there's a workbench just a few feet behind you. There's a drawer. There may be some tools we can use. Okay, I'll try to reach it. There'll be a phone line as well, I heard the main house. Probably a burglar alarm too, so we need to... we need to get the police here if we can Okay, how're you doing? You okay? Better than you, babe. I'll be okay. I'll be okay. You think Chris could have sent the postcard? I don't know. Maybe. But really, I-I-I don't know. Can I count on you, Luke? Of course. Might get a little hairy. I don't want you getting any ideas. Absolutely not. I just wanna get through this. We all do. Good man. Luke. None of us sent the card, Justin. Seriously... this hasn't gone too far. You can just set us free, walk away. No one will talk. You have my word. Here's the deal... Someone owns up to sending the postcard - I let you all go. - And if no one owns up? - Well then, we play Truth or Dare. - You're full of shit, man. And we'll see who's full of what. Truth or Dare, Gemma? Pick one. Truth. Who do you think sent the postcard? - I don't know. - I want your honest opinion. Honestly, I don't know. Big bastard! Let's try that again. In your honest opinion, who among the people gathered here do you think is most likely... to have sent the postcard? Chris. Oh... oh, Gem. I'm sorry, I didn't know who else to say. Well, she doesn't know, Justin. She's saying it because she's scared. Gemma dumped Chris because of Felix. - Maybe he wanted revenge. - That's ridiculous. While we were driving you just said you wanted to hit him. - Yeah, I wanna hit everyone! - Did you send the postcard? I did not. Fuck! Wait. What was... what was the postmark? What was the date on the card? 7th September, London. I was in fucking Spain, you tossers, three whole weeks. Paul, Paul, you can vouch for me. The first week of September I couldn't go to the lakes because I was in Spain. He's right, he was in Spain. You could have got someone to post it for you. Oh, Come on. You could've got your mum to post it. I don't bloody know. You wanted an alibi. - Maybe you sent it. You're blaming me.. - Bullshit! Oh, it's you. You sent it! Don't listen to him. Chris, just fucking admit it! Enough. I want a confession. We'll keep playing until we get one. Truth or Dare, Chris? Dare. You fuck. Dare it is. One moment. Luke, Luke! - Luke, what the fuck? - Help us. - I can't, I can't. - Please. We used to call this... the "acid test." Easy to improvise. Very, um... useful for motivating prisoners. This next part... isn't terribly pretty, I'm afraid. Open up. Open up. Now, this is much easier... if you relax. Just leave her alone, you bastard! Two containers. One's tap water. One's battery acid. You have to choose. That's the dare. No, I'm not going to. Tell me who sent the postcard. - I don't fucking know, all right? - Chris, I'm going to pick a tap. If you choose, Gemma's got a 50-50 chance of surviving. If I choose... she's got absolutely none at all. Now left... or right? - You're a sick man. You're psychotic. - Oh, come on, tough guy. You can do it. Pick one. - You're a fucking psychopath. - Who sent the postcard? If I knew, you really think I wouldn't tell you. I don't know. Five seconds, Chris. Five... Four... Please, don't hurt her. Please, she hasn't done anything wro... Three. I'll give you a hint. I'm left-handed. Left-handed, left-handed. Two... - R-Right. Turn the right tap. - He's messing with you! It's up to Chris. He's saying left so that you'll pick right. Maybe it's because I don't wanna hurt Gemma. You don't care who you hurt. One. Left. - I choose the left tap. - Left tap turning on. Good call, Chris. Babe, babe, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, babe, he made me choose. I suppose a date's out of the question now. I'm so sorry. He made me choose, all right? He just made me. Round, and round, and round it goes... where it stops... nobody knows. All right. I'll play. Truth. Why us? Why you? Why us five? Why did you choose us? A photograph by Felix's bed. Five faces scratched out. - Your faces. - That doesn't prove anything. - Fucking hell, a photograph. - It was good enough for Felix... it's good enough for me. The fair Eleanor. Truth. Who do you think should take the test next? No one. No one should. You have to choose a friend, or take the test yourself. - Who're you gonna choose? - Fuck you! 5 seconds... 4... 3... 2... Chris! - I'm so sorry. - Now that wasn't so hard, was it? Sorry. I need a drink. Luke... please. Look in the drawer of the workbench. Find something you can use as a weapon. Something small enough to hide, a s-screwdriver maybe. - He's too fast. - No, no...not when he spins the bottle. When he spins the bottles, he's distracted. If you can get his gun, this is all over I don't know, mate. He's going to kill us, Luke. And when he's killed us, he'll kill you. Didja get that? He'll kill you. Chris... shall we? It was me. I sent the postcard. I confess. You were in Spain. I wrote it before I left. I got my mum to send it, as an alibi. E-Eleanor was right. It was me. I'm sorry, Chris. You convinced me the first time around someone else is going to have to own up. For fuck's sake, somebody please! - Come on, don't go all gay on me. - Fuck's sake. - Please, no! - Man up, fella. Do you want the truth, Justin? Your brother was a creep. - No, that's not true! - Yes, it bloody is! A creep! A weirdo, all twitchy and desperate. - I thought you were his friends. - He didn't have any friends. No one liked him. None of us. So you just watched while Chris pushed him around? I didn't see the fight. But I saw Felix. He was upstairs in the bedroom. Eleanor was going down on me and... - Felix was watching us. - What? I was getting a blowjob and Felix was standing in the doorway staring at me, with my dick out. I told him to get lost, naturally. "Get lost, you bloody queer!" were my exact words, I believe. Are you saying my brother's queer? Are you saying that my brother is a faggot? I'm saying I don't know who sent that postcard, and I don't fucking care! None of us cares... about Felix. We just came for the free booze. - Left or right, Paul? - Go fuck yourself! Left or right? - Left. - Left it is. Bastard! No! You bastard. Paul was right. We weren't Felix's friends, not properly But I did speak to him on the night of the party and he was gentle, Justin. He was vulnerable and lonely, but he had a kind soul. He wouldn't want this. You didn't know him at all. He wouldn't want this cruelty. I'm sure of it. Perhaps you're right. I'll accept part of what you say. Felix was flawed... crippled, even. But we came from the same line. We were forged in the same fire. This weakness was not what he was made of. All this is in his name. But if he was watching, he'd be sickened by it. We are a proud family, Gemma. People like you can't understand that. Shame drove him to do what he did. And pride demands payment for that slight. His pride, my pride. - Please. - Enough talk. Time to play the game. Hello. Hello-ah. Friend of yours? It's Jonesy, open up! Get rid of him. I'll be listening. Luke, Luke, what's going on? I've been calling you for hours. - Sorry, man. - Not a sound, people. Thought it's gonna be some country house megabash. No, it's a total wipeout. No one here. Just a few losers. - Well, I may as well come and say hi. - Seriously, you don't wanna go in there Seriously, I do. I've been on the road three hours. 20 pound carried from the station, treading through this mud, to follow your fucking GPS. Plus, I've got a shitload of gear that I'm supposed to be shifting tonight. Can't let you in, mate. It's a private party. Is this some kinda wind-up. What's going on, Luke? N-Nothing. - Are you standing me? - No. That's it, isn't it? You're busy selling your gear, so you don't need mine. You've got it all wrong, mate. - Shh, it's fine, fine. Let's call the boss, see what he thinks, shall we? For-for fuck's sake, Jonesy. Just, this shit doesn't grow on trees. You know what it's like. I'm on hold on your tip-off... Just go away, just go! I was just explaining about the private party. This isn't... Not a problem... Get a cab Be careful. Why don't you join us? I wouldn't wanna intrude. Maybe, uh, maybe another time. - Guide me. - Swivel round and rock back. Yeah, that's it. Okay. Come inside, I insist. Quick, come on. You can do it, come on. Just go for it! Gem! Fuck! Let's see how you like it. No! Gem, listen to me. Focus. There's a saw. Feel with your fingertips I can't reach it. - Don't kill him! - Can't just let him live, can I? - Please! - Weakness, Luke! Weakness! Gem... come on, you can do it. Reach. Tell you what... three bullets left. 50-50 chance of getting a live round. If he lives... I'll let him go. - You want me to sh-shoot him? - Wake up, Luke! I'm giving you the chance to save him, or you can point the gun at me, but you'll only get one chance, and if there's no bullet... well... it's all over for you. - Please, please don't shoot me. Please. - It's not up to me, sunshine. Decision time, Luke. Me or the fag? Either way, it's 50-50. Time to pick a side. Five seconds... Four... - No! - Three... Two... - One. - Please don't, please, Luke, Luke... - No, Gem, Gem, run, run. - But what about you and Paul? There's no time. Gemma, run, please, go! Fuck. She could... s-she could've cut us free. Tools, weapons. We-we could have fought. We could have run away. You can't run anywhere, babe. You did well, Luke. You showed guts. Oh, you keep it. You're in the family now. I trust you with it. - What if someone finds out? - Trust me, Luke. We're some distance above the law. Once this is all over... we can just disappear. Lie low while my father's people deal with these loose ends. Your father knows about this? This whole business has shamed him more than anyone else. My duty was clear. Restore family honour by any means necessary. - What? - I knew he had my back. He doesn't want to lose another son. Did you send the postcard, El? No. - Did you? - No. Glad we got that cleared up. This is the last leg. You're almost there. I need you to be strong. Can I count on you, Luke? Yes. Paul. Hmm? I think my hands are nearly free. Guard them! Hello. Hello. Oh, my God. Felix. - Cut us free, Luke. - I don't think so. What? Just do it, you little turd. - I killed Jonesy. - And what, hey? What, you think I'm gonna tell on you? Luke, Luke, look at me, look at me. I don't care how many people you've killed, okay? As long as it's not me, and as long as it's not Paul. Now come on, cut us free. Have you enjoyed what you've seen? I hope you're satisfied! I know... I know I let you down. I should have stepped in when Chris went for you but this... You could have talked to me. I'd listened. What is it? I saved him. Cut him down. Would've been better to let him die. His brother's gone crazy. We need to call the police. Got no oxygen going to his brain, see... 'cause of the rope. Half of it died away. Now it don't hardly work no more. Better off dead, I reckon. I need to call the police. Master Justin said he didn't need no help, cocking bugger. Step away from the bed. You look after him, right? That's your job. To keep him alive. So, if you just put the gun on the bed, and leave the room, you'll just be doing your job, right? Please... just go. I need a phone, Felix. Good boy. Shit. Justin can help me. - He says his family will protect me. - And you believe him? He's an army man. Loyalty means a lot to him. Excuse me, Luke, in case you hadn't noticed, he's demented! He's obsessed with a fucking postcard! And you're on the list, remember? You are one of the scratched-out faces. When he's finished us off, Luke, you're going to be the only one left. You sent it. You sent the fucking postcard. - Shut up. - Luke, for fuck's sake! Why? I don't know! I was with Jonesy, and we were just looking Felix up on the net, just a something to do. And his family was so stinking rich. They just wound me up! People like me have to duck and die, for these blue-blood types have got it all! It was just a laugh, you know? A little note to remind him that he wasn't so important after all! Not that he felt that way, as it turns out. - You utter prick. - Oh, it was just a postcard! How was I supposed to know he'd bloody kill himself? You couldn't have known. He must have been unstable... like his brother. It wasn't your fault. See? - Did you do that? - Let go of me. - Truth! Did you do that to him? - He did it to himself. I sat by him for days, weeks. I knew that he was still alive inside. I knew that he'd be ashamed of what he did, ashamed of his weakness. I knew that he'll tell me who's to blame Imagine being like Felix... paralysed, powerless! You'd hurt whoever you could! You wanted Felix to name names. We were the last people to piss him off. But it doesn't justify his suicide. And it doesn't justify this revenge. Perhaps you're right. But it's a bit late now. She's a pretty girl. I can see why you liked her. Just one kiss and then we'll go and join the others. What would you do without me? Luke. Lukey. I'm dying, mate. I'm dying. Just don't know that. I've got holes in me. I'm losing blood. It's not rocket science. I need a doctor... or I'm dead. One call, Luke. Give me one phone call, that's all I ask Just... just to give me a fighting chance. I'm begging you. That's it. What're you doing? Luke, focus. We need... we need a phone, Luke. Luke! Sorry, man. Sorry. This'll ease the pain. - Get away from me, you fucking coward! - I'm trying to help! Luke. Give me some. What have you ever done for me? Everyone knows I'm a bitch, Luke. You can't tell me I'm not paying for it. What do you want? Coke, speed, anything. You might as well have the good stuff. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Leave me. Just get away from here. Get help. Get help. Paul, Paul, Paul... Stop being so bloody noble, okay? Fuck! Help me, please! Make an effort, Paul, please! Hey, Mr. Gimp. Hey, Mr. Gimp. Still got one bullet left, soldier boy. Use it. Good idea. You're magnificent. I'm not finished yet. Let's just go. I want a word with Felix first. He's crippled now. He's bloody paralysed. Just let him be. - Wait in the car, Paul. I won't be long - No, no. Just go, please. Truth or Dare, Mr. Gimp? Sorry, what was that? - I can't hear you. - Leave him alone. Shut your trap, ugly! Gemma. Gemma. Oh, no. This is all your fault. Think about it. When exactly did Felix string himself up? The night after the party? No. The night before his big brother came home. Truth, Felix... Who were you afraid of? Who made you so fucking scared that you'd rather die? Than have him find out what happened. Show me with your eyes, Felix. Show him. What's this about, brother? It was meant to be a fucking joke. A little prank... to teach my lazy arse boyfriend a lesson I was drunk, Felix was willing. A little too willing. That's what this is about. Isn't it? He hanged himself! My dad's company went down the pan a few months ago. Not that you'd give a toss, Justin! But I thought that just maybe the Hautbois family could help out. I sent Felix an email... very polite... wondering if, uh, he could talk to his family about refloating my dad's company. An investment to be clear. Not a fucking handout! That said... I did remind him... of the night we shared together. And how it would be a tad embarrassing if, uh... well, if anyone found out about it. Which is technically blackmail, I suppose, but whatever. I filmed it. You see? Suck it. I think we can all agree. That the truth hurts. Here. This will help with the pain. Thanks for the party, guys. She's dead. Get lost, you bloody queer! Oops. We're done here. May I invite you all to join me in a toast? Yes, you can. One year's out and in the end we're all still breathing. Gin - fucking gin! Gin - fucking gin! Yeah. We'll be celebrating later, aren't you? Uh, Jesus Christ! Oh, we're going to be right at the end of that-- Get off me. Chris, I've seen you in the shower you were to be in heaven! - It's the old lad. - Oh, bad to be on that! Shut, fucking you, right! She's just want to bring you up. So easy! I'll go to another announcement. I got a placement to work and gone. Congratulations, dude. 6 months. And I am to start in September. And...? The fucking practice, All do I ... shippings, all the high power plants,... Shipping costing world! Smile everyone! It's not ideal, obviously, but... Are you to need a train right away? It isn't America or something? You're deciding too fast! I just found out this afternoon. Look! Look, look, look! You're right, I shall discuss with them. What's up, guys! He's the laugh dog. Luke! What's up, bro? So... - What do you get for us? - For Paul also... How about a drop of the white stuff, tickle soft? Paul first, doen't he? I should not... - Almost for Paul, man. - Yes. - Go! - OK! - Spend a good night? -Yes. I bought a good one, boyo! - What's up, Felix? - Nothing, pal! - Did you make move? - I'm on Gemma. Want a teammate, anything wrong? That's not true as you said. The set is definitely not gold. No matter how much we might want him to. It's just a matter of confidence. And this is an area that I maybe help you out. My side, honey. Come on, I'm so excited. Anyway you like! Hi, Gemma. - Hello, Felix. - Can we talk? Okay. I mean, obviously, you are my league, but I thought it out just because it worths me. As what? If you would like to go out with me sometime. Something like a coffee or a film. Sit. Paul? I do not think of you in the same way as you expect. But I'm sure there's someone else helps it out. You just have to be brave and keep looking. You're a good girl, thanks. Seriously, you're a sweety plunge. Unlike some people I know. So why do you go out with him? Truth or Dare, everyone? 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've already been over it. Truth or Dare, Mr. Gum? Truth, probably. Uh... "True, probably." So truth. Be nice. So, Felix... Tell me... If you had a golden ticket, and you could pick any girl, or any guy, to take upstairs for a very quick making fast, no question asked, so, who would it be? In fact, here it is... your free shag ticket. Who is the lucky girl, Felix? Who is it, Felix? Who is the lucky girl, Felix? I'm sorry. I want to play. I want to play, come on. Come on, let's play. Truth or Dare, bitch? You and me. Put it normal way, Chris! You're just mocking about! - Truth. Do I look like a muff to you? - Uh-uh! See the diff? Do you mean "hyphen"? You are gay... because you are attracted to men. That's it. You sleep with men... man, me. - You sleep with me. - Yeah. And that... is pretty gay, dude. Exactly. And people don't want to think about our sex life. Uh, I could show you a few fanfic forums... On the Internet. But... I play baseball on TV. Okay? TV gays, they... they sing about acceptance. Or host daytime talk shows for housewives, or... acquire babies from exotic locations like China or wombs. That is so not me. You've met me, right? Look... You are such a great actor. I mean, you've played everything from an elf to a... Christmas elf. I mean, you could be a little less... So the Alderaan of my uniqueness is to be blasted out of existence by the Death Star of "less gay?" Is that right? I'm not sure, but... nerdy stuff like that, I mean, that is a good place to start. Maybe, maybe if you wore glasses then people would look at the smart, not the gay. You want me to be Anderson Cooper. I mean, you know, if he were gay. - All I'm asking is... - I know what you're asking, Brady. Okay. Less gay it is. Great! I'm gonna give Wes a call, see what he thinks of the glasses idea. Oh, Jack. He has no idea what he just... Anticlimax. What's wrong? My boyfriend back home thinks that college is gonna make me some sort of... sex robot. Tell me about it. Mine thinks it's gonna turn me into a brainwashed sex doll. You know what? We should teach them a lesson. Yeah? If they're gonna treat us like that... maybe we should just act like it. Yeah! Okay, close your eyes. You tricked me. What are you gonna do about it? - That. - Ouch! Not too hard! Stop! You stop! Oh, you're so sexy! I feel so much better! Me too. Pillow fights fix everything. You know, I heard that but I always thought it was a sham. A pillow sham? Ooh, good one. I've never done that before... with a girl... College is gonna be so much fun! Totes. My name is Michael Westen. I used to be a spy until... We got a burn notice on you. You're blacklisted. When you're burned, you've got nothing -- no cash, no credit, no job history. You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in. - Where am I? - Miami. You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who's still talking to you. A trigger-happy girlfriend... Should we shoot them? ...an old friend who used to inform on you to the FBI... You know spies -- a bunch of bitchy little girls. ...family, too... Hey, is that your mom again? ...if you're desperate.... Someone needs your help, Michael. ...and a down-and-out spy you met along the way. That's how we do it, people. Bottom line -- as long as you're burned, you're not going anywhere. Put the weapon down. Hands on your head! Listen to me, Michael. Gray shot your brother. He murdered Nate. Michael, what happened? Card's dead, Fi. Now we need a way out of here. There's a full tactical support team on-site, and some heavy-hitter seems to be running the show. We got them boxed in. Whatever it takes, I want it finished. We have Westen. Awaiting instructions. Stand down and let him go. Please confirm stand-down. Confirmed. All units stand down. I'll never stop, Westen. I'll hunt you down to the ends of the earth if I have to. Then I'll see you there. When you're a fugitive, it's tempting to flee the country and worry about the details later. But it's also a great way to get caught. Since most countries now require biometric I.D.s, the first step in getting out of town is getting good documents. You can't just go somewhere new. You need to be someone new when you get there. Randy Weems? What the hell kind of name is that? What happened to Chuck Finley? That's my lucky name. Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Weems, but my I.D. guy doesn't take requests. Oh, crap. Well, just stick with "Sam," will you? Don't be calling me Randy until we leave. Speaking of leaving, shouldn't Elsa be here with the supplies already? Michael and Jesse are almost done with the radio. Don't worry. She'll be here. I just gave her a few extra things to pick up for me. She probably just got stuck shopping. "A few extra things"? I thought we agreed -- Listen, sister, if I'm gonna be living in a hut in the Dominican Republic, I at least need a decent bottle of scotch. I believe that's the sound of my scotch arriving. Hey, beautiful. Thanks for coming. I'm sorry it took so long. There was construction. It slowed everything down. Construction? Where? At the entrance to the marina. What? Is -- is there a problem? There's a reason fugitives are so paranoid. When you're on the run, even the smallest change in your environment can put you on high alert. But, then again, sometimes being paranoid pays off. Damn it! That's an earpiece! See, this is bad. Those are agency guys. We're blown. Yep, that's a gun. My I.D. guy -- he was acting all jumpy. Kept asking if he could deliver the passports himself. I should have known. They'll start searching as soon as they block the marina. We got to go now. Well, we aren't getting out of here by sea. Coast Guard is incoming. Fi, get Mike and Jesse. I'm on it. Elsa -- Elsa, I got to ask you something that I don't want to ask you. Can we have your car? Of course. What -- what happens now? Once we bust out of here, that CIA team is gonna be all over you, so just...tell them that we stole your car. And just tell them that... that you don't know me anymore, okay? Can you -- can you tell them that? I'm sorry, Elsa, but it's just not safe. I mean, they're gonna be all over us, so -- I will try and figure something out, okay? I promise you. Coast Guard's almost on top of us, Sam. Sam, we got to go. Fine, Mike. Just start the car. Bye, sweetheart. Stay beautiful. I'm sorry, Sam. I don't want to hear it, Mike. Just drive. Mike, the window's closing up there! I see it! I see it! Just hold on! It's them! Mike, you're not gonna make it! Hold your fire! Hold your fire! They're gone. Burn Notice 6x14 Down Out Original Air Date on November 29, 2012 == sync, corrected by elderman == Looks like we're clear for now, but we can't stay here too long. Sam. Michael, give him a minute. Okay, so, those fake I.D.s... Worthless. Wonderful. Got another I.D. guy? None that I trust -- not now. There's a passport office up in Boca. We could try to break in -- Mike, come on. That's a crappy idea, and you know it. Riley's gonna be expecting us to do exactly that. Now, I think I know a guy -- he's a friend of Dixon's, but... It's a long shot, so if anybody else has a better idea, let's hear it. Okay, then. Even if you evade the FBI, ATF, and DEA, a life of crime is tough to explain to the IRS. That's why many career criminals have a day job. It gives them a cover I.D., access to equipment, and a real W-2. It also makes them easier to find if they won't answer your calls. Hey, buddy. Aw, Sam! What are you doing here? Good to see you, too, buddy. This is my work! And I'm not your buddy. Oh, come on, Dixon. After all we've been through? Didn't I get you a cargo plane last time I saw you? Oh, yeah. That was easy to sell. I just put it on Craigslist and said, "ignore the bullet holes." Mm-hmm. Just came by 'cause I need a little favor. None of your favors are little. Okay, you know what? I'm done flirting. I'm not in the mood. I got to get in touch with that guy you told me about, the smuggler -- Schmidt was his name. The guy you said could move anything or anybody. Why do I tell you things? Why? 'Cause I think deep down, you like me. No. No, that's not it. Okay, look, the point is, we got to get out of town with fresh I.D.s, okay -- someplace warm, with decent beer. That's why we need Schmidt. W-well, I'm sorry. Your timing sucks, okay? Schmidt's in hiding. He's in some sort of trouble. No cell, no e-mail, no nothing. You know, it's funny -- I bet the guy who builds his computer systems could find him. Say, wasn't that you, Dixon? Even if I could -- and I'm not saying that I can -- there is zero chance that he'll talk to you. All right, Dixon. Thanks a lot. You're welcome. Really appreciate it. But, you know, before I go, I thought I would just say I think it's great that a company like this would hire a convicted hacker! Should I go on? Shh. How about the Navy, when they almost court-martialed you for stealing the skipper's porn collection? Should I go on? No! Shut up! Shut up! Please! Take us to Schmidt, I won't say another word. Come on, Dixon. I'm in a hurry. Don't forget your Oreos. Counterintelligence, broadly speaking, is the practice of spying on someone who's spying on you. With a little patience, you can learn a surprising amount about your enemies just by watching their own surveillance teams. It starts with carefully observing who's at what location, when they're there, and how often. Once you have a list of possible candidates, you cross-reference with people from other surveillance sites. If anybody shows up more than once, it's a safe bet it's not just a coincidence. It's a lot easier to keep your secrets if you know who's after them. Gotcha. Why can't we just knock on the door? You don't know Calvin Schmidt. He's not gonna open the door for five people with guns. It's okay. So I-I have to be your pretend girlfriend? Come on. Here we go. Kiss for luck? Never mind. What the hell are you doing here? Hi, Calvin. It's really -- Was I -- was I unclear the last time we spoke? I gave you a fat stack of cash, and I told you to forget my address. Yes, I know. But look, look - - I want you to meet my girlfriend. She needs your help. She's desperate to get out of the country as fast as possible. And since you're an expert in that kind of thing -- You -- your girlfriend? It's a new thing. Well, if she's your girlfriend, where did you meet? Both of you at the same time. One, two, three, go! A f-friend's house. I-- the Internet. Uh, my friend's Internet house. I hope you get eye cancer, Dixon. W-w-w-w-w-wait. You don't understand. No, I-I understand well enough, okay? And so spare me the sob story, spare me the desperate tale of woe. Well, I-I don't have a desperate tale of woe. But I do have three very well-armed friends. That would be us. You might want to invite us in. Dixon, you slack-jawed, traitorous nimrod! I -- that's your spy friend! I-I tell you I'm going off the grid, and you bring the most radioactive man in Miami to my door? ! Are you gonna invite us in, or do I have to start shooting? God. Fine. Yes. Come in. Quickly! Don't saunter! Do-- you're -- you're sauntering on purpose. Thank you. No! You're not -- you are repellent to me, Dixon, and are no longer welcome in my home. Wait! Wait, wait! But they drove! Good. Oh! Well, what do you want? We need to get out of the country. We're told you're one of the best. One of the best? I-I could smuggle the Queen of England wearing the crown jewels as a bikini past border security, and nobody would bat an eye. We need the whole package -- new identities in a foreign country and safe passage there. Can you do that? Normally, yes. Yes, I-I smuggle people, I smuggle items, I smuggle goods. Anything smuggle-able, I smuggle, all right? But seeing as you guys are these lights-out super-spies, maybe you've noticed the triple-locked door, the arsenal, the many empty food containers. Hmm? Did you maybe ask yourselves, do I look like I'm in a position to help anybody? ! Okay. Why don't you just tell us why you're in hiding? Let's start there. How about I don't? How about you leave? All you need to know is there's a big, scary guy who wants to grind me into dust. Mr Schmidt, there are at least a half a dozen things in here that I could use to blow you into little-bitty pieces, and I would use the dust to powder my nose. Look, we -- wow, we got off on a bad foot here, didn't we? How about a drink, hey? Who wants a drink? I'll take a little something. Can you do a mojito? Y-yes. You know what? Actually, I have, uh, some fresh...mint. Oh. Here you go. Flashbang grenades may not be deadly, but if one goes off nearby, it can cause temporary blindness and hearing loss. The combination of those effects is enough to stun even the most hardened soldier. But if you can take cover in time to protect your vision, you can still stay in the fight. You may not be able to hear your enemy, but if you can see him well enough to pursue him, then it's just a matter of not letting the ringing in your ears distract you... Hey, hey, hey! Back off! Back off! ...from taking him down. Let's try this again. Whatever problem you have, we will help you with, but we need to get out of the country, and you will help us. Do you understand? Yes, I do. You guys don't get it, alright. I-I-I'm, like, marked for death. How stupid are you gonna feel if you come to me for help and I wind up dead? Just tell us about your situation. Okay. A year ago, this Syrian woman comes to me -- she's married to some jerk smacking her around, and, you know, I-I kind of have a thing against that. Oh. Well, he's not a complete bastard. I set her up with a new name, new life -- the whole deal. Turns out she's married to Jabbar Hamady, ex-Syrian intelligence services. Now he's a big gun runner and has a huge problem letting go. And he came after you? Yeah. He's got a fatwa against me. W-w-when -- when he's not selling machine guns to toddlers in Sierra Leone, he's out looking for his ex-wife, so I went into hiding. Welcome to "hiding." Well, why don't you run your business from here? Oh, so, suddenly you're an expert on how to run my business, Sinéad o'Handsome? He paid off some of my workers. Every time I try to move something, they show up with guns. And if he were removed from the picture? If you guys get rid of Jabbar Hamady, I'll give you guys new identities, passports, a free trip to wherever you want to go. Okay. Just give us what you got on the guy. One more thing, though -- when we get the new names, mine is Chuck Finley. Okay? That's non-negotiable. You got it, Chuck. Taking a break? Yes, as a matter of fact. I figure if we're really gonna be on the run, this might be the last chance I have to get drunk in a jacuzzi, so... I'm living it up while I can. What do you think? Well, in addition to wife-beating, the guy's hobbies seem to be torture and war crimes. Which means if we can find Jabbar, we can let the authorities take care of it. Well, don't forget that we're on the run, too, so, you know, not like we're gonna run around Miami asking people if they've seen a pissed-off Syrian. Schmidt said he had one remaining warehouse, right? Mm-hmm. What are you thinking? If we could get Jabbar to send his men there, I might be able to get to him. Yeah, or you could just get shot. Mike, come on -- too dangerous. Sam, this whole thing with... losing Elsa, I just... Yeah, well, doing something insanely dangerous won't fix what happened with me and Elsa. I don't see another way. All right, then. Let's go do something insanely dangerous. This place is like a black market Costco in here. Yeah, well, I'm kind of a big deal. That's why I'm able to smuggle super-spies to other countries. So, guys, what's the plan? All right. Here's how it works. Every time you make a delivery from a warehouse, Jabbar finds out, right? Yeah -- come looking for me, and then they steal everything. Okay, so, now you're gonna call in a pickup from this warehouse. Only this time, Jabbar's guys are gonna find a very unhappy ex-employee of yours here. E-e-ex-employee? What -- That's what Mike and Fi are setting up in your office. Mike gets the guys to take him to Jabbar. We sic the FBI on him -- problem solved. Oh, problem solved. You guys just skipped over the part where I lose everything I own! Shut up. Listen, Mike's doing the hard part here, okay? All you have to do is make the call, wait for Jabbar's guys to show up, and run like hell. I can't believe I'm even considering this. I hate this plan. This is a horrible plan. Push the button. I hate this idea! This is a stupid -- Looks like Schmidt doesn't much like our plan. He'll come around. Let's get this over with. Well, just how tortured do you want to look? Think an angry Schmidt with a car battery. Electroshock torture is a messy business. While most of the damage is internal, the electric arc that's created can burn anywhere from 2,500 to 5,000 degrees. If you want to look like you've been tortured, but aren't willing to hook yourself up to a car battery, a curling iron can create similar burns without the risk of stopping your heart. Just a minute! Surveillance doesn't always have to be covert to be useful. Sometimes the best way into a target's life is through the front door. Good afternoon, Mrs. Westen. I'm Olivia Riley, CIA. I'm in charge of the Agency's investigation of your son. May I have a moment of your time? Of course. Please, come in. There are advantages to being obvious when the goal is less about information-gathering and more about intimidation. You, uh, really should have called first. I could have been out. There's nothing more jarring than realizing that your every move is being watched. I, uh, noticed that, uh, you stopped by your son's old place yesterday to take some photos. Our perimeter cameras spotted a silver Camry. That was you, wasn't it? It was. I was taking pictures for the insurance company in case anybody needed anything. Interesting. So you think Michael's going to come back and file an insurance claim? I assume you realize your son's in an enormous amount of trouble. He shot and killed a CIA officer. If you're helping him in any way, that constitutes a federal crime. I'm aware, and I'd like to help you, Ms. Riley. Anything I can do to get my son through this alive. I, uh, wonder if, um, I could ask a favor of you. I'd like you to sign this. It affirms that you'll be cooperating fully with our investigation. And if you violate this agreement in any way, you're looking at life in prison. Do you have a pen? Thank you. There you go. Thank you. Well, that's all I need for today. And, uh, please -- do call if you hear anything. Excuse me. Who are they? Oh. Don't mind them. They're just checking to see if your phone lines are working properly. For your protection, of course. Of course. Oh. We checked the inside of the house, as well. Just making sure there's no place for anyone to hide. Thanks for your time, Mrs. Westen. No, no, thank you. Bitch. How long is it gonna take for Jabbar's guys to get here? I-I just - - I don't understand why I have to be here. I mean, can't -- well, what if I wait outside -- I already explained this, okay? Jabbar's guys need to think that they caught you by surprise while you were working Mike over. Oh, okay, fine! Well, then why don't we wait closer to the exit? Because if it looks like we planned our escape, they'll know it was a setup, and Mike dies. W-what if we die? ! I mean, has anyone thought about that? ! Yes, which is why you need to stop talking! Just get ready, 'cause at any moment, they're gonna show -- They're in the warehouse! Schmidt, get out here! They caught us by surprise! Can we leave now? ! Dude, if we're gonna sell this, you got to put up a fight, okay? Which means you need to shoot at them. Shoot at them with your gun! Yeah, I think they bought it. There's too many of them! Let's get out of here! Go, go! Spies will use whatever they can to get behind enemy lines -- stealth, deception, and even capture. A prisoner of war can learn about enemy morale, supply, and location. Of course, the first thing you have to do is convince your enemies you're worth more alive than dead. Don't shoot! Don't shoot! I'm unarmed. Hey! Someone's here! What is this? Who are you? ! My name is Brent Sodor. I used to be on Schmidt's security team. You work for Schmidt? ! Do I look like I'm still on the payroll? ! I was being tortured! Please. Y-you're trying to find him, right? Right? Am I right? Well, I can help you. I'll tell you anything you want. Just don't kill me. Please don't kill me. Untie him. We're taking him to Jabbar. He lives for now. Most intelligence agencies lack the resources to set up safe houses all over the world, which is why they depend on expat civilians to lend their homes or businesses for missions abroad. If you're a former Syrian intelligence officer, the local Syrian restaurant can make a handy base of operations -- and save you a few bucks on lunch. Welcome, my friend. Please -- please sit. You know who I am? I have an idea. You're the guy that's... trying to kill Schmidt. Yeah. My name is Jabbar Hamady. Mr. Schmidt has taken something that belongs to me. So, my men told me a very interesting story about finding you in the warehouse. Tell me about this. Yeah, my name's Brent Sodor, and, like I told your men, I'm on Schmidt's security team. He thought I was one of the guys that was trying to sell him out to, uh... Well, to you. He did all this to you? Yeah -- with jumper cables. Tell me something, Mr... Sodor. I have my sources at Mr. Schmidt's operation. How come I never heard of you until now? He hired me on the qt, because he was always afraid of traitors. And then you hacked the alarm system I set up in the Tampa warehouse, and then all of a sudden, I'm the traitor. Sugar? O-one sugar. Just one? Two. Listen, Schmidt was a paycheck. I got no love for him. I just want to go home. And I can help you. How can you do that? You want to catch this guy, right? I know where he lives. You know where he lives. Nobody knows where he lives. Except me. I'm telling you, I was his secret weapon. In fact, the only place I ever met him was at his house. If you want to hit him, you got to hurry. I just wish -- I just wish I could see that son of a bitch bleed. Okay. Give us his address. We'll go there. Hold on. Hold on. How do I know once I give it to you, you won't just kill me? Why should I trust you? Ohhh. Mr. Sodor, if you help me, I promise you, I'll repay the favor. I'm a man of my word. But, uh... I lack patience. And suddenly, I'm overwhelmed with trust. Could you stop... loading your gun for a second? Stop loading. Just stop loading. Just want to make sure that I heard you correctly. You're sending that psychopath here? ! Yeah, that's the whole idea. Mike goes in, steers him to the house. Jabbar comes here, attacks the place. We call the cops on him. W-why am I hearing about this part of the plan just now? T-the part where my last remaining possession gets chopped up by machine-gun fire and then turned into a crime scene? ! Because we knew you'd get all whiny on us. Whiny? ! Listen -- the good news is, you don't have to part of the fireworks this time, okay? Fi's gonna take you up the road to a nice little motel. You sit tight there. We'll come and get you when we're done. It's Jesse. Just-- just please try to be careful. Some of this stuff is really valuable. Yeah? Hope it's bulletproof. Come on, Schmidt. Open up. Come on, come on, come on. Bad news, Sam. When I was picking up rounds, I paid a neighborhood kid to ride his bike by Maddy's house, just to make sure everything was okay. He said the garden rake's propped up against the garage. She gave the meeting signal? Why'd she give the meeting signal? I don't know, Sam. It's a rake. It didn't come with subtitles. If you think someone might be following you, the temptation is to drive erratically. It may force the tail to reveal itself, but it also reveals you're onto them. A better approach is to drive very conservatively. Go below the speed limit and linger at stop signs. You won't win any fans on the road, but it'll help you lose your tail. If they think you're simply an overcautious driver, it'll catch them off guard when you suddenly take a risk. Oh, thank -- thank God. I was afraid you wouldn't make it. Well, we, uh... we've been busy. We got the signal late. Yeah. That's the problem with communicating by garden tools. What's going on? Olivia Riley paid me a visit. She knows. She knows I'm helping you, she knows I'm following them. She knows everything. And she bugged my house. Are you sure? Absolutely. They were all over the place. And they weren't even that careful. And she made very sure I was aware of it. She probably wanted to goad you into making contact with us. Yeah. They had someone follow me. I almost killed myself unloading the son of a bitch. So, Fi, what do I do? I mean, she's getting closer, and I don't know how much more we can meet like this. Well, I'll talk to Michael. But in the meantime, if you need to reach us, you leave the house and use this, okay? It's a burner phone. It should be safe to use. Wait. One more thing. A long time ago, Michael disappeared, and he never said goodbye. Promise me you won't do that. I promise. Nothing here. Anything on your side? Jabbar rolls pretty heavy. My guess is, when he comes, we're both gonna see him. So, where do you think you're gonna go -- after this is all over? I don't know. I have no idea. How about you? I was thinking Antigua. Always wanted to go there. Nope, nope. Nope, nope, nope. No. I dated a girl from there once. What? So the whole country's off-limits? The whole West Indies is off-limits. Well, who's this girl? It's a long story. If we ever make it out of the U.S. alive, I'll tell it to you. All kinds of craziness. Good crazy? No. Is that Mike? No, it's Schmidt. Hey, Schmidt. What's up? You have to help me! They're coming! Okay... Schmidt, hang on. What -- what's the problem? Is somebody at the motel? No, I'm not at the motel, okay? I mean, I was at the motel. Then I went back to my warehouse -- Wait a minute. What -- y-you went to the warehouse? Why? Because I didn't think anybody would be here! I thought that Jabbar and his men would be trying -- trying to kill me! Look, I have millions invested in here! I was just trying to salvage something! I thought they were gone, and then a couple of guys came back. How many? How many guys? Three? Five? I don't know! Just get down here! That doesn't sound good, Sam. I know. When planning an escape, patience is key. Someone without training might jump at the first chance to strike, but that's exactly the wrong time, because that's when your enemy's most alert. In fact, the best time to make your move is after you've let plenty of other opportunities go by. The other advantage of patience is it gives you a chance to find out if the situation has changed. What happened? We were on our way to his house, and my -- my men called. He snuck into his warehouse. He was hiding in his office, crying like a woman. We got the pig. Now you'll get to see him bleed. I been waiting for so long. It's been 10 months since you helped my whore of a wife run away from me. 10 months. Now I think... My waiting is done. Look, I-I don't - - I don't know where she is, okay? That's a lie. No, l-listen, okay? Listen. I made her a passport, and then I lost the paperwork, 'cause that was part of the deal. I don't - - I don't even remember the name that I gave her! Oh, I think you'll remember. Today, you're gonna die, Mr. Schmidt. Only question is how much you're gonna suffer. This knife ain't hot enough. When an operation goes seriously wrong, you have to decide quickly whether to bail out or keep pushing and try to salvage what you can. Bailing out is less risky, but when it means leaving someone behind to die, sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and roll the dice. Mr. Hamady, can I talk to you for a second? A few hours ago, that bastard was gonna kill me, but your men saved my life. I owe you for that. I think I can help you. I don't need your help. With all due respect, I think you do. I was an interrogator for the Special Forces. You're trying to find your wife? I can help you do that. Yeah? What can you do that this cannot? Trust me - - I know what I'm talking about. You told him that he would die no matter what. You start cutting him up, he'll tell you every lie until he bleeds to death. So what do you propose? You ever heard of suxamethonium chloride? It's a hypnotic sedative. You pump Schmidt full of that, he'll give you everything that you want. I used to work with a medic. He can get it for me. I just need to call him. I'll find your wife within the hour. Bring him a phone. I still say we should go look for them. How? All we know is Mike's somewhere in Miami and Schmidt's either with him or dead. We can't just sit here. They're out there somewhere. Hang on. Could be Mike. Is that you, brother? Hey, Chuck, I need a favor. I need some suxamethonium chloride for an interrogation I'm doing of my son-of-a-bitch boss. Uh, Mikey, that's not a truth serum. That's a poison. Did you want Schmidt to die? Exactly. I think it's the only way we get what we want here. Uh, Mike, if you're doing what I think you're doing, we're gonna need an ambulance. Oh, you read my mind. How soon can you be here? I'm at that Syrian restaurant on 12th and Bayshore. How much time do we have? An hour? Sounds great. I don't like the sound of that. Uh, they must be in a tight spot, because Mike's trying to get Schmidt out by faking his death. But with this suxamethonium chloride, five, six minutes in, you're dead for real. Which is why we need an ambulance. Only problem is, we don't have an ambulance. Fi, when's the last time you talked to your EMT friend? The guy with the dimples? It's been an hour! How much longer? Not much longer. Look, I need to get Schmidt into this freezer. The drugs work better if he's cold. Come on. We got one shot at this. You want to do it right? Well? Do you want to do this or not? Get in! What are you doing? ! Listen to me. Listen to me. We don't have a lot of time. I can get you out of this, but you have to do exactly as I say. I'm going to inject you with a drug -- I already don't like this. Shh, shh, shh! When I do, you have to resist for a moment and then tell me where you hid Jabbar's ex. No! No! Do you know what he'll do to her if her finds her? ! If we pull this off, the last thing he'll be worrying about is his ex-wife. T-t-this -- this drug -- w-w-what does it do? I don't think you want to know. Hey, you know what? I'm sick of being the last guy who knows what's going on! Now, what does the drug do? It's going to paralyze your entire body and stop you from breathing. I-I-I didn't need to know that. You know what? I need to un-know that! Your friend is here. Chuck. Thanks for coming. Yeah, well, I don't have a lot of time, so can we do this? Hey, no, don't! Don't! Shut up. Do it. Okay, this is gonna sting a little at first, but after a few seconds, you're gonna be feeling much more cooperative. No, stop it! Help me hold him, please. Don't! Okay, I'm giving him a low dose, but he's gonna conk out any minute, so you guys are gonna have to act fast. There we go. All right. Let's take this again. Where's his ex-wife? I-c- - I c- - I can't. Just relax. That's it. Calm down. Where did you hide her? Cy- - Cyprus. She's in Nicosia... Under the name... Yasmine... Sadek. There's your answer. Maybe. Maybe not. Come with me. Let's confirm this. Schmidt, how you doing? Uh, not -- not -- n-not good. I'm - - I'm woozy. C-can't -- can't feel my legs. You look nervous. Nervous? No. Well, you should be nervous, because if he's lying -- if I learn that he's wasting my time -- Hey, guys! Come here! There's something wrong! What? What's wrong? What's wrong with him? I don't know. He must be having some kind of allergic reaction to the drug. I ca- - I ca-- I can't...breathe. He's dead. You killed him. What if he was lying? ! He wasn't lying! He gave you the answer! Ask your guy! Rashad! Rashad! What'd they say? She's there. We're getting her exact location now. Good. Have my men dump him into the ocean. Uh, okay, whoa. Whoa. You can't just dump him. I'm involved now. His body washes up on South Beach, there's gonna be an investigation, an autopsy. It won't take long before those drugs are traced back to me. What do I care? It's not my problem. Let me at least just take the body back to the hospital. We'll dump it in the incinerator. Nobody will know. But we got to move fast, 'cause security comes on at 4:00. You got the information you needed. Let us take care of this. Mr. Hamady, you saved my life. It's the least I could do. Fine. Take him. I'm done here. Jesse! How long has it been? Four minutes. Four minutes? We're cutting it pretty close. Come on. Let's get out of here before Jabbar sees us. Fi, we need to get the biggest armed response we can get at that place. How big? Very big. Jabbar's guys are armed to the teeth And aren't gonna go down without a fight. I think I have an idea. Remember that burner phone we gave your mom? Hello? Mom, I don't have a lot of time. I need you to say, in a loud, clear voice, "1212 Bayshore Avenue. Yes, Michael, I can be there." Are you sure? I don't know if anybody's told you -- I know Riley bugged the house. It's what I'm counting on. I need to get the CIA to show up someplace fast. Can you do that for me? Yes, Michael. 1212 Bayshore Avenue. I can be there. Thanks, Mom. I'll be in touch when I can. M-Michael -- We lost his pulse, Sam! What? I can't find a pulse! There's nothing, man. Nothing. Nothing. Do it! Do it! How you doing back there, Sam? Not good, Mike. We think he was out too long. Okay, clear. Yeah. Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy! Clear. Come on, Schmidt! Come on, man! Wake up! Wake up! Oh! There we go! There we go! He's back, Mike! We got it! J-j-Jabbar -- Jabbar, is he -- Don't you worry about him. We're wrapping his sorry ass up right now. Was I -- was I dead? ! You really want to know? No. No, I'm good. I'm good. But...just a little -- yeah, you were a little dead. You were dead. Counterintelligence usually starts as a subtle game of cat and mouse. Your adversary pretends not to be watching you, and you pretend not to notice, but the longer it goes on, the more inevitable it becomes that you'll end up in open warfare. Afternoon, Mrs. Westen. Oh. I didn't see you. You know, an interesting thing happened to me yesterday. I found a Syrian spy at a restaurant in downtown Miami. Wow. That must be some catch, huh? Actually, it was more like a consolation prize. I had heard somewhere that your son might be there. Really? Well...guess you can't believe everything you hear. Let's stop pretending, shall we? Next time you see your son -- and we both know there will be a next time -- you tell him I'm coming for him. And if you keep helping him, I'm coming for you, too. So... How soon can we leave? Well, that depends. Schmidt, if you can't do this -- I can do it, all right? Of course I can do it. But the terms of the arrangement may have changed. No. The deal was we get rid of Jabbar in exchange for an all-expenses-paid trip to wherever we want to go. Your words. Yeah. Yeah. That was before I knew that your plan involved Jabbar stealing everything I have left. So you guys may have to foot some of the bill. How much? Depends on where you want to go. Depends on how many of you want to go. I mean, I-I-I-it's you two, uh, it's black George Clooney, guy with the chin... Right -- the four of us. Michael, you might want to double-check your head count. Hey, Sam. Everything all right? You know, Mike, uh... The last time I kissed my lady, she was crying. I left her to be interrogated by the CIA so we could escape. I'm sorry. We're getting the passports. We need to know if you're coming. Yeah, well, I got to think about that, Mike. I'll let you know. == sync, corrected by elderman == I can't believe you're going to build a mosque. I know. It's surreal. So, what's your first step going to be? You know, I got so caught up in the excitement, I didn't actually think how we're going to do it. OK, well, you're going to need a location and permit, - So why don't you talk to Ann? - Oh, that's a good idea. I will explain to her how the idea came about, hmm... Through an unlikely friendship with a chicken, I was given a sign that told me I should build a mosque. Maybe leave out the part about the chicken 'cause it's a little weird. You know, I'm going to go see Ann now and see if she's got a few minutes to spare. So you're probably wondering why I'm here. I'm wondering what's taking you so long to get to the point of why you're here. - I want to build a mosque in Mercy. - Uh-huh. Technically, I know we have a mosque in the church already, but you know that was supposed to be temporary anyway. - Yeah, uh-huh. - You seem a little... - Distracted. - I'm sorry, Amaar, I'm just trying to schedule an important meeting with Charles. - Oh! Well, I can come back... - No, no, you're here Interrupting me now. Let's just get this over with. - OK. I was wondering if... - You know the thing is... Charles and I are both so busy, we just can't line up our schedules. I can't even get in touch with him. I've emailed, texted, phoned! The only thing left is Facebook or kidnapping. Oh, Facebook! Hello, Facebook Charles, I'm poking you. Yeah, you like that, don't you? Poke, poke, poke. You know, you can only poke someone once until they poke back. OK, really quick question: what do I do to build a mosque in Mercy? You know, what you really need is to start off with a press conference. Invite the media, invite the town. You know what? There's a town meeting later on tonight, you can piggyback it. I'll even waive the permit fees. - What permit fees? - Bribes. [ The phone rings. ] Charles? Then what good are you? Little Mosque on the Prairie S06E07 Mosque of Dreams - RAYYAN: Hello! - SARAH: Hi! Mom, is that bacon? That's bacon. What are you doing? I'm not eating it. Well, not yet anyway. Do you know I haven't had bacon for over 30 years? Because it goes against our beliefs? Well, I'm just not sure what our beliefs are anymore. Mom, what do you mean? You're a Muslim! What if I'm a Muslim because I was married to a Muslim? Well, um, how long have you been feeling this way? I've been on a date, I've had wine, and something else Ann put in my drink, and now I'm thinking about trying bacon. - No, don't do it! - Hey! - That's turkey bacon! - Oh! I'm not going to jump in headfirst. I've got to dip my toes in a little. - Hey! Hey! - Ow! Fine, I guess, I had that coming. AMAAR: It'll be our own mosque. We'll have our own religion in our own building. Oh, this does not seem very attainable. You should set your sights a little bit smaller, like - A new shoe cubby for the mosque. - Yeah, I'm with Baber, But to be fair, I don't really care. I thank you for your honesty, Rev. Baber, you have wanted this for years. I just don't think now is a good time. People will think we're up to no good. - Why? - People will see the minarets and think, - "Uh-oh, Muslims!" - Naturally. And then, they'll see innocent old Baber buying some lawn fertilizer and blamo! They'll think we're going to blow something up. Why would they think that? And why would you be buying fertilizer? Your lawn is full of weeds and crabgrass. Well, that's exactly why I would be buying fertilizer. My point is proven. Point not proven! No one's even going to think you're capable of blowing anything up! Challenge accepted! You will see the authorities will be right at my door! - AMAAR: Salaam alaikum, Sarah. - Hi, Amaar. - You wanted to talk to me? - Yeah, I needed your help with a presentation tonight at the town meeting for the new mosque. Look, Amaar, I would love to help... Great, I will get you the plans right away. No, no, no. Amaar, I would love to help, but this is the kind of thing that takes a 125% of your energy and faith, and I just can't commit to something I don't believe anymore. OK. Wow, I knew you were having a crisis of faith, but I didn't realize it was that bad. Why is it bad? Maybe it's good! Maybe this is the best decision I've ever made! OK, Sarah. Well, I'm always here if you need to talk. Uh-huh! OK. Well, that's one Muslim down. Let's hope the rest of them convert before you build That mosque of yours, eh? [ laughing ] [ choking ] What a waste of perfectly good goat curry! I could still eat that if you want. Hey! How do you want to pay for that today? Uh... with my credit card. - OK... - Wait, wait, wait, wait. Would it be more suspicious if I use cash to pay for the fertilizer? - No. - Um, I disagree. I think cash would be much more suspicious. And yes, to answer the question your face is asking, I am a Muslim. OK... Does that mean you get like a discount or something? I should get a discount! You know, some people might find it peculiar that I, a Muslim, am buying so much fertilizer. OK. Well, enjoy your fertilizer and being a Muslim. I'll get your change. Aren't you supposed to go to Amaar's mosque kick-off press conference? Yes, I am. It's a town meeting, and I am the mayor. And yet you're not moving. I will. Just waiting for Charles to call. I just want to hear his voice. We've hardly talked at all this week. Hey! Stop ignoring me, I'm actually opening up. I'm sorry. I'm just lost inside my head. I don't think I'm a Muslim anymore. Have you eaten any bacon yet? I've toyed with the idea, but I haven't followed through. I just keep asking myself: Why am I a Muslim? I mean, is it because of Rayyan, because if it's because of... Oh, my God! OK, you win. I'll go to Amaar's press conference. Just stop talking. [ sigh ] [ cell phone ringing ] Mayor Popowicz's phone. Oh! Hello, Charles. Well, I must say that's very descriptive, but this is Sarah, and I'm not nearly that flexible. I'll let Ann know you called. OK. Bye. Is that my phone? Is it Charles? It was Charles, wasn't it? Yes! Yes. Oh! What? I was... Really looking forward to that call. Aren't you going to Amaar's press conference? No. Like they're waiting for me. Ah, how long do you think we have to wait for the mayor? We should just go ahead and get this thing started. Oh! Remember, you are doing something amazing for the community, and you're going to be great! Oh! Oh! Oh! Don't bring up the chicken. Good evening, residents of Mercy. Tonight, I stand before you, a man of faith, a man with a vision! A man with a purpose. A man who is going to build a mosque in Mercy! It'll be our own mosque, No different than the mosque that we have in the church. If it's no different, then why do you need to build it? Well, I had a vision. That's how it all started. Well, not really a vision, more like a sign! A sign that came to me - Through a friend. - Who? Me? Bet you it was me. No, it wasn't you, Nate. It was, um... - ... Ray-Hen. - Rayyan? No... - Ray-Hen. - Ray-Hen? Isn't that your chicken? [ laughing ] Yes, the sign that came to me Was through a, uh... Ray-Hen, a chicken. [ laughing ] If I could have everyone's attention, please, thanks. Tonight, we are accepting donations. And there's free food at the back. I got a perfect headline: "Award-wanting journalist - Gets bored at town hall meeting. " - Ha! Ha! [The two men]: Oooh! - Sweet chocolaty balls. - Ooh! A snickerdoodle. Well, I guess I destroyed the mosque before we even built it. Most of the people here probably won't even remember this. You know, that's... sad that that's as reassuring as it is. Amaar, sorry, I'm late. What did I miss? You're so pretty, Rayyan. { Advertisement } Can't let this get you down. - How would you suggest I... - Motivate it? Look, if we don't raise the money, we are not getting the mosque. And if last night is any indication, we are not raising the money. - Do you need a bottle? - A bottle? Yeah, 'cause you're acting like a baby. So, last night tanked, suck it up! You wanted a sign? You were given one that told you to build a mosque! You might have to do some of the heavy lifting yourself. - I'm sorry, was that too harsh? - No. You're right. You're absolutely right! I can do this. Positive attitude makes all the difference. What if the chicken wasn't a sign? What if I missed the real sign while I was hanging out... - With a chicken? - You want another sign? Really? That's kind of creepy. [ amused exclamation ] Ah-ha! Just the man I'm looking for. Wow. Look, a spot just opened up in the lawn dart game - In the park. - Oh, that is great news! Is what I would say if I could go, but I can't. What? No, we've been waiting for months for this spot! You don't think I know that? I'm the one that put us on that waiting list. But I can't go because I've got to wait here for the police to come and arrest me. Right... Well, good luck with that, Baberella. Oh, do you want to be on the visitor's list In the unlikely event they allow me one? - No, I'll just wait for you on the outside. - OK. No. [ Baber sighs. ] - Hello! - Oh! Hi, sweetie! Hi! Oh! Uh-oh! Cooking turkey bacon again, the gateway meat. Well now, some would call it the gateway to heaven! Not Muslims of course, just people who like bacon. Are you OK? You seem a little tense. No, I'm fine. I'm fine. I know exactly what I'm doing. OK, but we could really use your help with the new mosque, and we were hoping that you'd changed your mind. Yeah. It's just that I can't do something I don't believe in. Well, you obviously haven't totally lost your faith, - You're eating turkey bacon. - The thing is... - Ah! Spit it out! Spit it out! - What? You have lots. It's not turkey bacon. Sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. [ sigh ] That's wine. Kidding! [ sigh ] Stupid answering machine! Where are you, Charles Thorne? Guess who had bacon this morning, real bacon? - I did. - No, I did. I've finally took that last step away from my old life. Sarah, I love you, but your religious crisis is getting in the way of my real crisis. Well, then I guess you don't want half my BLT. Hell, yeah! Less dork... more pork. This one looks more like a prison than a mosque. - There's that one. - Is that a pentagram on the wall? Hmm, it kind of depends what you mean by pentagram. I think he means this five-sided witchy-shaped thing here. Oh yeah, it is a pentagram. I think we'll take a pass. OK. This building's on fire! I'm 25% sure that fire has been put out. Next. [ sigh ] Oh! Well, what about this one? This one looks kind of perfect. Yeah! It does. Can we see it? Can we see it now? Well... I'll just get... another one. - Please. - Eat, eat. Maybe we should wait outside. What if the police come by, and - I'm not there to be arrested? - Face it, Babs, They're not coming. Now, let's go play some lawn darts! But this is so unfair! Why won't the police arrest me? They're just not that onto you. - What's worse, I spent all that money on that bomb-making stuff. - Ha! Ha! I'd hardy call fertilizer bomb-making equipment. No, no, no, no, the fertilizer's outside. I put the bomb-making stuff in the community room closet for authenticity. Wait, wait, wait, what other bomb-making stuff? A lot of electronics, gasoline, nails, combustible hairspray. - It's in the community room? - Yes, in the closet. In the closet? No, Baber, no. No, no, no. You realize if someone catches wind of this, You could actually be in serious trouble, right? Ah, I can take it! I'm very tough, I'd survive Gitmo. Tough? You're afraid of the moon! I don't like the way it looks at me. Ugh. You do know that Gitmo's not taking new prisoners, right? You'd wind up somewhere much worse like the moon. - OK, I'll be good. - Yeah. Now, let's go. Let's get that stuff in your van and you can return it to the store. [ dove cooing ] This place is a real steal, guys. But like I said, I shouldn't be showing it to you, the place is set for demolition. Are you telling me this used to be an old schoolhouse? Who would want to demolish this? It's amazing! I mean, of course, it needs a lot of work, but wow! I think I'm having goose bumps. Oh! The minbar can go right there. And my office can be in that room with the family - Of angry racoons! - Yes! Wow! Wow! Wow! Why is there a team - With a wrecking ball out front? - Like I said, the place is scheduled for demolition. - [Together]: Today? - Yeah, in 15 minutes or so. But don't worry, guys! I can find you a place exactly like this... probably. - Can't we stop them? - No. Only the mayor can stop the demolition now. - How do you even know that? - She likes to brag. You guys really want this place, don't you? - More than anything! - Huh. - OK. You go find Ann and I'll stay here and make sure - They don't tear it down. - Brilliant! [ Rayyan sighs. ] I also do life insurance, taxes and hot tubs. ...just, huh... email. Brother Amaar? Baber! I need to get to city hall, fast! - Let's do it! - Thank you! Go! [ Tupper is humming. ] [ Tupper is whistling a song. ] Ready? Hey! [ He keeps humming. ] Hey, Baber! You can't park here. Tupper, we have no time right now. We are here on official business. Amaar, let... You can't... Oh, hey! Buddy, buddy! Hold on! Hold on! Look at this, huh? A 9/11 in progress, right there, my friend. Caught him red-handed. - That's a code blue! - It's not a 9/11, Fred. Calm down. You can refresh your computer as often as you'd like, but an email from Charles isn't going to magically appear. [ The computer dings. ] Oh! Charles just emailed. He'll call me in ten minutes. Guys! We found the perfect spot for the mosque, but it's going to get torn down. Ann, you have to stop it! I don't know, Amaar! It seems like an awful lot of work. It's the old schoolhouse at the edge of town. Yeah, it's probably rubble by now. No, Rayyan's keeping it safe for now, but you have to save it. Amaar! We are in big trouble, which actually proves my point, but that's not the issue right now. - What are you talking about? - Mayor. Baber, Amaar, you two responsible for that van outside, right? Huh, yeah, I guess so. Why? Oh! Cuff me, I won't resist. Just don't tase me, bro! Why would I cuff you for parking in a handicap spot? Illegal parking? Oh, good! Because I thought You were here because of the bomb in the back of the van. - Ha! Ha! Ha! - Wha.. - Well, now you're under arrest. - You can't arrest him! - - I'm afraid the law says otherwise. - Oh, come on, Paul! This is probably just a somewhat hilarious misunderstanding. - Yes! - This isn't what's important. What's important right now is that we have to go to the old schoolhouse before it's too late. [ pigeon cooing ] Well, I can't really tell you how you got that rash if I don't have more information. It was about two weeks ago and my old college buddy was in town, and... Oh! OK, OK. - I don't want to hear that. - All right. So guys, we're going to tear this place down now, or what? Oh! No! Go back to the rash. You were saying, "two weeks ago... "? Yeah, my old college buddy, hadn't seen him in a while... - No demolition today, boys. - But why? This is the future site of the new Mercy mosque. Yes! You totally saved the day, Ann! Mayors! [ A cell phone rings. ] Oh! Oh! Hey there, hot stuff! Oh! Hang on. Rayyan, Amaar just got arrested for having a bomb. Ha! Ha! Very funny. Oh my God, you're serious! So where were we? What am I wearing? Well, nothing, naturally. Ha! Ha! Charles? Hello? Charles? Charles! Battery! No! [ Her screams echoes. ] [ Amaar is banging his head on the table. ] I can't believe you built a bomb. I didn't build a bomb! I merely collected a bunch of things that look like bomb-making things! It was not a crime, just suspicious and very costly. - Well, you proved your point. - I know, and it breaks my heart! Then why'd you do it, Baber? Because I was happy with the way things are! [ He starts whining. ] OK! Baber, that's what this is about? Look, nothing's going to change! The mosque will always be there for you. It doesn't matter anyway. By this time tomorrow, We'll be in solitary confinement together. [ The door opens. ] OK! Baber's story checked out. You guys are free to go. Huh, technically, I'm supposed to say that. Yeah. Oh! I'm sorry. You can tell them about the fertilizer. Well, it turns out Baber, being the frugal shopper that he is, bought the cheap stuff, So what you have couldn't even blow up a dollhouse. [ They laugh. ] Uh-huh! Could not blow up a dollhouse, could I? - Challenge accepted! - No! No! No! That's not what he meant! Thanks for letting us go. And for not waterboarding us or making us stare at the moon. - O... K. - OK! Let's go, you guys I'll buy you an ice-cream sundae for your troubles. Oh, no! Sweetie, I'm fine! Yes, absolutely, I'm fine. They dropped the charges. Well, there really were no charges, so I'm a free man! What? Oh, that's great! That's great news! Amaar! Fred is talking about you on the radio and his face sounds redder than ever. I gotta go, honey. Bye! FRED: Well, here's news of yet another Muslim terror plot Right here in Mercy. This one starts with Amaar Rashid and goes all the way down to Baber "Sneaky" Siddiqui. It's about time somebody blew the lid off of this thing. Well, call me the can opener, 'cause I've finally cracked the Da Vinci code of what those wacky rug riders have been up to. Turns out they were trying to blow up city hall. Fortunately, yours truly was there to scotch the deal. Now, do I call myself a hero? Well, some would, of course, but I'm... [ She turns off the radio. ] Well, at least we found a new place for the mosque and Rayyan just told me it's not getting demolished. - Ah! - That is a big surprise, Amaar, because I was kind of hoping that, huh... I mean, congratulations! I didn't think you'd pull it off. Hurrah! Well, technically I haven't. Not yet, anyway. We still need to raise some money for the mosque. Amaar, I know it seems like I've been pushing you away, but Muslim or not, you are my son now and I am behind you 150%. Thanks, Sarah, and you know, I'm always here for you, no matter what the crisis, faith or not. Well, I wanted you to know that I finally sold Yasir's business. - Congratulations! - And I want to put all the money towards the new mosque. Wow! I don't know what to say! - "Thank you" works. - Thank you. Thank you so much! - Mom really did that? - Oh, she did! Wow! I did not see that coming. What about you? - Are you OK? - Oh, I couldn't be better! Even with the town not getting behind the mosque - Like we thought they would? - I'll bring them around. And you getting arrested for that whole non-bomb thing, plus Fred Tupper trashing you on the radio? - I couldn't believe that! - Look, remember when I came - To Mercy five years ago? - Uh-huh. Those exact same things happened to me, and look how that turned out. - It turned out pretty well. - I think we're right on course. { Advertisement } [ knock! knock! ] What's going on? Charles called. My cell battery died. I'm waiting for him to call back. Have you been waiting here all weekend? - Yes! - Oh, Ann! Why does he have to live in Ottawa? Why does he have to be engaged to somebody else? Why is he such a stupid jerk? Why is the phone unplugged? Ah, man! [ The phone rings. ] Hello? Oh, hello, Charles! No, I'm just sitting here, naked, eating a banana. Well, you know how I crave potassium. [ Sarah snorts. ] Uh-huh. Subtitle by: Kiasuseven Cary asked me. I know. He's just on a call. So, the IRA agreed to an Offer and Compromise, on your tax case. The IRA? The... the IRS. You'll have to pay a penalty, we can deal with all the specifics later, but you have some un-cashed checks in your file. You should take a look at those. Thanks. I'm not gay. You asked whether I was gay? Yes... two years ago. I know. I wanted to answer. I'm not gay, I'm flexible. Okay. Flexible. Good. And, uh... Lana Delaney, this FBI agent, that's... flexible? Yeah. Sort of. Because as your lawyer, I wouldn't... You know what, it's your life. You do what you want. What? It's the Veriscene case. The judgment's in. We find out tomorrow. That's good. I don't know. I've got a bad feeling about this one. How's everyone this morning? Well, Your Honor. We seem to have a designated hitter here today. Yes, Your Honor. My partner, Will Gardner, couldn't be in court... Oh, you don't have to cover for him. I know Will's suspended. - How's he doing? - Very well, thank you for asking. Like a kid with five days until Christmas. Well, tell him he's missed. Shall we get started? Plaintiff alleges that Veriscene, a drug administered for the cure of acne, caused Mr. Goode irreversible sterility. Accordingly, I am entering judgment for the plaintiff, in the amount of $25 million in compensatory. I acknowledge that this amount is in excess of the $18 million requested by the plaintiff, but I find the actions here particularly heinous. - Your Honor... - Yes, Mr. Canning? You want to appeal? - Oh, I do. Uh vehemently. - As is your right. Mr. Goode, no matter where this ends up, I want you to know, justice was done here today. Whoo-hoo! Yes! Congratulations. I am rarely speechless, but I am speechless. Thank you. Thank you both. It's not over yet. They're going to drag this out in appeals, so... I thought it was going against us. Sometimes fate smiles. Will, are you standing or sitting? Which one do you want me to be? You're kidding. You're kidding. Do you know what this means? That we can pay off our balloon payment. And dodge the executioner for another quarter. If you get a settlement. Where's Canning at? He'll appeal. For effect. $25 million should motivate him. Peter, you okay? We have a problem with the house. We? Uh, Jackie. She paid ten percent in cash on the down payment. Apparently, she was bidding against someone. Me. She was bidding against me. So I'm planning on going ahead with the purchase and then flipping the house in a few months. Okay. Are you moving in? Just temporarily. I think I could get more more money for the house if I did some work in the backyard. Why are you telling me this, Peter? Look, I don't want you to worry about these... decisions. This is all temporary. I'm not trying to... Colonize our past? Well, I don't think I'd exactly put it that way, but yes, I don't want these decisions to be misunderstood. Okay. I won't. So... we're making this work, right? Oddly, yes, we are. I heard Cary is back with you guys. - Yeah, starts today. - Oh. He's a good guy. Wish him luck. So, we'll need you out here until we get an office cleared out, - if you're all right with that. - I am. Good. It'll just be a few weeks. Welcome back, Cary. Whew. AN: Yeah? Um, is this FE Construction? Hello? Who is this? Uh, I'm a lawyer following up on a un-cashed check from FE Construction. Unfortunately, we'll need you to reissue the check. Who is this? Um... is this FE Construction? Yes. I don't recognize your voice. I'm a lawyer representing... someone... uh, who has an un-cashed check from FE Construction, and she can't access her funds, uh, unless you reissue, so... Who's the check made out to? Cash. Where are you calling from, lady? Can you just reissue the check, sir? Sure. Give me a check number. You know what, um, I'll call you back with that information. Thank you. Wow. Oh, hey, Cary. - How are you doing? - Good. You seem to be, too. Oh, it's just from being liaison to Eli Gold. As soon as he's back on the campaign trail, I'll be out there with everyone else. Where are you? I'm out there with everyone else. Well, then you'll have company. Canning. Oh, Cary. - Good to have you back. - Thank you. The Veriscene case-- we're in the middle of negotiations. Yeah, go for it. I know my way around. We're not committing to an offer yet, but if you have a number, we'll listen. Mr. Canning, are you with us? Oh, I'm sorry, I was just texting my lawyer. It's funny, isn't it, lawyers having lawyers? And my lawyer probably has a lawyer, too. We should all be getting progressively smaller, like matryoshka dolls. Yes. So are we negotiating, - or what are we doing? - No, we're negotiating. I-I think I have an offer for you. A one-time offer. - Zero? Really? - Yeah, unfortunately you have five minutes to decide whether to take it. I see. And if we don't, you have a bomb or something? Sort of. Hi. We're all here. Where are you? Just changing. I'll be right in. The rash is back, Michael. I know. I'm trying the ointment three times a day. You have to stop eating so much spicy food. Yes. No more Thai food for you. Oh, please, it's just poop. You shovel the stuff all day, buddy. Oh, God. Patti Nyholm. - Well, look at you. - And you. Poster child for Motherhood Today. You have no changing tables in the restroom, Will. - It's a lawsuit waiting to happen. - Yep, doing our part to suppress the birth rate. So, I need some legal advice on my contract. Oh, my God, wait. You can't practice law any more. What was I thinking? No, thank you. I'll be right out, Michael. This'll take a few minutes. That must be really hard on you, Will, just sitting around watching all these lawyers while you're, what, surfing the Web? - Clipping coupons? - What's up, Patti? - A lawsuit. - Really? Which one? A new one. It'll be great being on opposite sides again, dusting it up... Oh, wait. Darn it. You're not a lawyer any more. I keep forgetting. So sorry I'm late. Here's my lawyer now. Ms. Nyholm, I believe you know everybody. I think I do. Hello. How are your negotiations going? Well, I don't know, I gave them five minutes to agree to my settlement offer, and that time is up... now. We're suing you. On behalf of LOC Pharmaceuticals, makers of Veriscene and Elvatyl. And their insurer, LifeState. We joined forces to sue you for $50 million - for fraud and malicious prosecution. - Come on, - this is harassment. - Is that your legal opinion, Will? No, it's mine. Your company doesn't like being sued, try making products that don't kill and maim people. Here's a better idea-- stop intentionally and wrongfully instituting legal proceedings - you know are without merit. - We were just awarded $25 million-- I'd call that merit. No. I would call that judicial bribery. Oops. Is that a sensitive topic? This case was built for a jury. You requested a bench trial. It's a million-dollar case, and your basketball buddy awarded you $25 million. - I was cleared by a grand jury. - No. You weren't indicted by a grand jury. You gamed the system; I know you, Will. You can't do that with me. - Or with me. - That's right. We're the dream team. Jackie? Mr. Gold? Hi. Peter said you were here. Shouldn't you be in synagogue? Uh... no. How are you feeling? - Better. - Good. Then I won't feel bad about saying this. Your son is going to lose. Without Alicia, he will lose the governorship. Uh, I-I don't know... She was on our side, Jackie. Alicia was offering to help Peter, then you got involved. How did I get involved? This friggin' house! Good job. God bless you son. When do you think you'll be here? Dad, please. I beg you, don't... We're going to introduce you to a nice girl. Dad, what could I possibly do there? Apply for your military service, and come back to Urfa. Your past, your future, your destiny... It's all here... He doesn't care. Why couldn't you ask about the police station? Why didn't you make him come back? I'll find a way. He's got little left to finish. While we eat shit there? You are bankrupt. We're living in misery and he dishonours us. You even sold your gold teeth. People are laughing at us. We were taken to the police. People make fun of us on the streets, in the mosques... I'd give you another son right now, but it takes a real man. I gave you a son and a daughter. Your son didn't turn out to be a man. Stop this nonsense, Kezban. God damn you... You faggot. He took after you. What have you got here? You're weak and mute. God, damn you! You have no pride. You have no dignity, no honour. Look at your honour... It's being trampled on. You're an absolute disgrace. It's my conscience that stops me. Do you think I am not sad? Traditions matter more than our conscience. Go ahead, hide in the barn, cover your head. I told you when he was a little boy to get rid of the Zenne then. You paid no heed. God forgive us for what we've done or are about to do. I can not act until I have concrete proof. We believe in the same God, Kezban. He will whisper to me. I wish you'd stay. When mom gives orders, you have to obey... You are still in college, are they sick or what? Bankruptcy! He's broke. They can't afford to support both of us. I fucked up your life as well. Never mind. I'll pay for that too. You take care of yourself. Murat, I need your help. I am pregnant... I want this child but not marriage. If we get to the point... Sis? Yeah, we are all fine. Can? No, that's not what I meant. I was going to go to the army recruiting centre... a German photographer was studying my art. Are you a faggot? Did you apply for an exemption? Would you like coffee? I want to take you to Germany. What would I do there? You'll stay with me. My house big. I'll do everything for you. The military won't let go of me. What kind of photos do they want? Holy shit. Disgusting. They must really enjoy this. Sukran, could you make tea for us? I really don't like what I'm hearing. You guys will drive me crazy. Between my mom, the cops and no job. We haven't even paid the rent. Why? It's been paid. How? Here. Did you pay it? Don't I live here? How many times have I told you? Enough! I support this house. I am not a sponger. I sleep here, eat here. I am here... got that? I'll go with you. The way I look they'll never believe I am gay. Make me a Zenne. Some cream? Oh, you speak German? My ex-husband was from Bavaria. I lived in Munich for many years. How did you like Bavaria? I don't know. I didn't really feel at home. The people... but now, I miss it very much. Bavaria is beautiful. I hope Ahmet will enjoy it there with me. What are you doing? Take this! Stand in line. We'll check the lists. Come here. What are you waiting for? I have to check your behind. Turn over! I don't think I can. Wiggle a bit. Where are you from, son? Urfa. Wow, Urfa. Not a traitor but a taker. What do you do for living? I am a Zenne, sir. Would a real man shake his hips for living? I always wanted to dance, sir. Good, then. We can always use a go-go dancer. I am gay, sir. We can't hear you here, speak up! I am homosexual. How can we be sure of that? I brought you pictures. Here, take these. What's this look? What does your dad have to say about this faggotry? Sir, my father was a commander like you. He died in combat in south-eastern Turkey. Not sure, what he'd say now... Give me the envelope. So? Sorry, wrong envelope. We'll show you how it works. Take him. Dad, I am fine... You forgot these in the car. We'll take care of that. I have to be honest. I don't need these anymore. Shove them up your ass. How about shoving them up your girlfriend's ass. Stick them up your mother's cunt. Pick on someone your own size, asshole. Dad, I will go faraway. Forgive me. I am a faggot. It's all my fault. What's your show tonight? Here, this is for making a Zenne out of me. You're a natural. Take this, idiot. Go to my apartment and take whatever you want. I don't need your filthy stuff. Ah OK then... Don't you ever wear colourless clothes again. I don't want to see you in white ever again. I'll miss you too. Answer the phone. Please. You sneaky little cunt. You faggot's daughter, you! My brother is saving himself from you. Your God left you a cripple. You're gonna die here all alone. Dad. One, two, three, four... Five, six, seven, eight. Ahmet, raise your arms. Ahmet? Follow him, son. Ahmet, raise your arms... Four, five, six, seven, eight. And we never forget to smile. A big round of applause. Are you taking care of yourself? Are you eating properly? Yeah, yeah. I don't believe you. Your voice tells me otherwise. Oh, stop! You're not my mother. I am also not your girlfriend anymore. But I am your agent. This is about ourclients and a lost photojournalist. Oursoldier is the greatest... He's the bravest! What the fuck is your hurry? Sweetie you're digging yourself into deepershit. The cops will find you here. What's up, girl? Are you bringing yourboys here now? You disappeared again. Why, did we have a fuck date? Fuck you. I won't have to weara uniform anymore. How did you get out of it? Lfinally went there and told them I was a faggot. You mean it's that easy? You need to dress like a fag. If you go there looking like him, it won't work. Well then, it should not have been hard for you. Nothing is ever hard enough for me, honey. Plus, you show them photos to prove you are a fag. In yourdrag clothes? No baby, they have to show you being fucked up the ass. Disgusting. I don't want to sacrifice my ass just to escape the army. If you go there without those photos you'll see just how disgusting it gets. Ha ha, your medical discharge proves you're a nut! So what, asshole? I'd ratherbe called a faggot than die in some stupid warzone like yourdad did. Whatever, they won't get me anyway! What the fuck now? Come and hold this... Should I have a little tuck around my eyes? I think you should find a camel and ask her. And why is that? Because they are honest. They're so ugly so they have no otherchoice. Are you a freak orwhat? Yes, no objections though. I am enjoying every minute of it. If it weren't for Kerem, I'd kick yourass out right now! Are you senseless? What's that supposed to mean? Why would they call it common sense when it is so rare? You should be thanking me, jerk! ...stupid cow. I am a bear, not a cow. You hairy daisies, you think yourhairwill save you. At least we look like real men. Ever heard about Scottish drags? They weartrousers like you. Save yourbullshit for your cook book! Being a real man doesn't mean you can't be polite. Are you fertilizing the fur on yourshoulders? You're all dying fora real man... and when you find one... - Get the fuck out of here! Right now. - Look, I was just trying to say... Ah, of course. Yourhairy ass doesn't get fucked. What the hell? Just leave the poor boy alone. Come on, it is yourturn. Wait here, I'll come back and wax yourshoulders. What have I done wrong? ! Son of a bitch, he screwed up my show. Why do you pity these people? This ZENNE is a really great dancer. AZENNE? Amale belly dancer? What's that got to do with yourwork. I am just interested. Perhaps, you want to do art photography. I could arrange an exhibition. It should be easy with all your awards. I don't know. Stop blaming yourself. It's OK. I am still worried about you. More than ever. Sorry, mom is calling. Mom, I'm in Istanbul... it's been six months. I don't know. Mom, I'll try to. Sure, I am doing fine. Coffee? What coffee? Oh, I see dad wants some coffee. Mom, I have to go now. Clients... Bye mom. Watch out, God damn it! How many have you broken so far. Enough with your morning tempers. Get away from me, you asshole! Auntie, what do you find in that animal? That's exactly what I like in him: The animal in my bed. Take down those pictures. I'm sure they drive him crazy. Well, he hates me anyway. He can fuck off... I'll kick him out soon. Is this forthe rent? It's been 9 months and I still don't have a job... Cavit still asks about you... Oh, he is disgusting! I wish our motel was still open. So damn long ago. Don't you even think of going back... The ruins will make you cry. I still can't believe it- look at us! Why? What's wrong? We inherited barstools... I prayed so hard that you would return from Munich. Your prayers worked... You finally got me divorced. Just joking. It has nothing to do with you. It didn't work out and we got divorced... Feel this! This golden fabric is so nice. My sistercalled last night. Mom? They must have come for you again. I'm going to turn myself in. Don't be ridiculous! But this is no kind of life... I have to hide until it gets dark. It's not only you. Everybody's got issues with cops in this country... If you talk to mom don't mention anything about Murat. Don't worry! What are you going to make for me, sweetheart? We'll think of something... Look at this mess! I have to go to school, mom. Didn't we send you here for your brother? But, I did clean that spot... Oh, just leave it! You're going to wake him up... So what? God bless you! Help me! Mom, why return so soon? Look at you! Such strength, what's yourshoe size now? Yourson... Yourson. Yourbabies will be someone else's but his will be ours. Where were you? If I'd known I would have picked you up... I called many times. You didn't answer. Oh dear, sorry. Love is in the air. If you screw up love, it starts to stink. Your husband's fingerprints? Back again for a fidelity reading. This strong man, your lover, in his thirties, with wide shoulders... Look sugar-puff; dunno about the wide shoulders with a guy at 58, I only care about his wallet. Then he definitely has a son... Yes, he is cheating on you. With a woman ora man? Listen baby-cakes, if you don't know this shit, shut up! There is no strong, young guy. That old fart dumped me, okey? Which one? But there's a young guy... Enough! If you figure it out, just fax me orsomething. Thank God. Idiot! What's up bro? A busy day, huh? How is your aunt Shukran? I want to visit heragain but she neverpicks up the phone. She is still looking for a job. I told her. She could work here. She can't... Her new boyfriend is overly jealous. Anyway... Bitch. Don't be late. I hold yourroom free the whole day. Madam, it is every Turkish men's duty to serve his country as a soldier. Yourson is no exception but he is a draft dodger. Concealing his whereabouts is a crime... Listen son. Can's father died in combat in south-eastern Turkey. Can's brotheralso joined the army and he is burnt out now. Can is not a draft dodger... Anyway... Let me sign and leave... Cihan! Cihan. Wake up, son. Mom... Son. Get up. Mom... They came back for yourbeloved son. Whatever you do, they will take him away. No, he won't go to the army. He will go like the rest of us. No, he won't! Yourprecious son... You're precious too. How many letters in your name? Five. S - E-V-G-I (LOVE) Come, rest now. I thought I was getting a boy and he turned out to be a girl... Mom, pass me a beer. Pick seven cards please. For you sweety, I'll pick 14. What the hell are you doing here? Ahhh! I just came to have my fortune told. Also to apologize forthat night... Whatever. Take your ass downstairs and get yourfortune told there. Once the cup is lifted, it has to be read. Yourfortune is dark, complicated. Some guy is after you. And also a foreign guy. What's this constant money talk? You end up dancing at a bar. C'mon really? I don't like dancing. What exactly do you see? I see your mom's pussy, right here. Sorry, here is someone to see you. Leave now! Now what? Why don't you answer your phone? Answerthe damn phone! The papers are not interested in warphotos anymore. I'll see what I can do. Do something on kids. Kids always sell. People want to see hope. OK, I'll ask the fixer. Send me something in two days. Why are you so late, my son? School ends around this time. It's been half an hour, my eyes were glued to the clock. What's half an hour in Istanbul? What's this radio station again? Radio 'Holy Water'. I am scared. Istanbul is a dangerous place. I know... You called me 26 times today! I can't wait to see you get out of this filthy place. As if ourhometown were cleaner, look! Neverdeny yourroots. I wish I could. May God forgive us. You're beyond mercy... Allah has struck you already. Allah be praised, I'm fine. Sure. Get up girl, put this away... wash your hands... heat some rice for yourbrother. What's going on? I heard a noise, just checking... It's getting colder, wear an undershirt. There are no cleaning materials left... Dad? Tie up yourhair. Take care of yoursister. No, I still have things to take care of here. Kezban, enough! Watch out, this could be the end of us. Don't worry, Dad. This is yourfinal year anyway. Just finish school, do your military service, and come back home. Business is bad, I need help. There is a teaching position in college here. See? He is lusting aftersinful gains. Don't keep us waiting, son. Business is really bad. You don't say, dad. Do you want me to go bankrupt? I can't breath without you, son. I could've driven you. No need. You take care of yourhomework. May God protect you from the evil eye. Finally, the nightmare is over. They wouldn't even leave your corpse behind in Istanbul... Damn. My hands stink of bleach. C'mon I'll drop you off at school. And where you off to? - Misty, moisty, morning, full of birds... - How on earth did you find me? Your beloved boss. Fuck you, Cavit! Can? It's OKauntie, he's a friend... C'mon girl, I need to go shopping! I've nothing left to wear. Nothing? As if you ever had anything... I can buy your entire day. It's my photo shoot day, with that German. Why don't you meet him later? Then you'll get paid twice! What's going on? I can't go out during daylight. Do I need to talk to yourmom? Fuck you. My ass is freezing'... Swimming in November? ! No whole wheat? I called yourmom when you left your phone at the bar... Why is that? She was one mean woman. You idiot! What did you say? Don't shout! All I said was "Ahmet", and she was already yelling... Sorry... My mom is a little bit weird. I'm not in the mood anymore. Hellooo! I didn't come here to give myself a blowjob! ? What if the sultan never visited his daughter? What if there was no fruit basket? The snake would have bit heranyway. Oh, c'mon... Destiny is not a choice. Do you really believe that? You know it all, don't you? Could you stay out of this? Gross, what a shit hole! Not forme, thanks. I agree. Imagine; they're swirling around in silk skirts, and red leggings... Your new clothes don't mean you're no longer a bear. And fancy clothes don't make you a princess. Save yourwisdom for yourcook book. Was it a long night? Why? Show me yourflat. This is not a good time. Ljust want the best for you. When are you sending me the samples? I am finalising them. Are you happy with them? Absolutely. Have to go now. I am worried about you, Daniel. No need. You're such a good photographer. You're wasting yourtime. You know, I'm always here for you. I love you too, baby. How could I possibly wake up a snoring bearlike you, girl? Where are you going? God damn you. I told you he was safe. I'm so sorry. I just fell asleep at friends... Who the fuck are these people? I really am sorry, auntie. They are nice people... Your mom would kill us both. It's already daylight. Asimple ID check, and you'd be caught. Idiot! You scared the shit out of me! Take this... It's from the photographer who took my pictures. Fine, whatever. Morning, mom. He's still sleeping. He stayed up all night studying. Sure, I'll tell him to call you. Hey, where have you been? I've been holding the room upstairs for you. You have no clients left. Boss, I was at a photo shoot... Today is the photographer, tomorrow it will be eitherfilms or dance... Let me explain... Son, you're betteroff as a Zenne. Off you go... Cavit darling, should we also change the lights upstairs? Cunts! Shut up and eat! That's too much. I don't want to get fat. Idiot... You were supposed to pick me up... Who is this? Can't I have friends? Friends, sure. I'd watch out, if I were you. Watch it, you're only here because of me... OK OK. I may as well clearthe table. Yeah, and the floortoo please. Fuck off! Mom... Some snacks please. I love you mom. You're the best mom of all. He's depressed. He doesn't tell fortunes anymore... I've been looking for a job all day. I quit the cafe. Fuck! Did you get fired? Boss kept nagging me about being late all the time. And this military service thing suffocates me. Shit. Come here. Fight at the bar? Someone threw a bottle? I got fired from the cafe. Couldn't pay the rent... Murat, what happened? Don't tell her anything. She doesn't know... What the hell happened? Don't panic, he is OK. I fucking fell down. Tell me the truth. Was it that little bastard? No, I just fell. God. Don't embarrass him. Go back to bed. OK. I really am OK. Just leave, I got to pee. Don't worry, he's all right. He is not my boyfriend. He is my shadow. Where I walk... he walks with me. He knows what I eat... where I sleep... whom I am with. Why is he following you? Because here in Istanbul I have a different life. Yo wimp, do you think I didn't spot you the other day, mamma's boy. That's not fair. How are you bro? Are you OK? Just want you to know that I took care of your money. It's all settled. Do you need anything further? Off course, he would come back... every time I enjoyed freedom. Why would he do that? You should have gone to the police. I was always different. My mom is an angry woman. Life was neverthe same. When I moved to Istanbul for university... she hired Zindan. Even so, she destroys my clothes... if she doesn't like them. Why can't you be honest and tell the truth to yourparents? Honesty is the easiest. You don't understand. Honesty will kill me. No, I can't understand. What could possibly happen? They are your parents. They love you. My mom is obsessed with cleaning. I am not clean. What ever happens, happens. We can change it. We're going to the police. Tomorrow, OK? Sir, we need to ask you a few questions. Yourson Ahmet filed a complaint. These youngsters... You know how my wife can get... Nevermind. Hello, you're still sleeping? Don't shout. I need a driver. Can, have you gone nuts? Yourfoolish aunt didn't tell me... Thanks to Ahmet, she doesn't know. Come in... Come in. I'm going to kill youraunt. She nevertells me anything. Look at his gorgeous eyes, his pearly teeth. Mom, don't embarrass him. Why didn't you tell me you were coming? ! What's that hair, pussy boy? It looks beautiful. Don't you ever risk your life like this again. Mom... I'lljoin the army. Silly boy. F... ing liar... My son would never upset me... I'm so broke, nobody will give me a job... You can find so many jobs... I can send you money... How the hell can you? My aunt is having a hard time... What now? Because of the army, I haven't seen daylight for years. You can go-go dance in the army... Cihan, go get some air. Yourdaughterwill come back as a man from the army. Save it for your hairy ass. Excuse me? Cihan, come on, son. Sorry, dear. How did this army thing came up? Look what the military did to yourbrother... Yourfather... I don't want to loose you either. I'm doing this for all of us, mom. Hi! No, thanks. Are you also the pride of yourparents? Just like me, you're not sure. My fatherwas a soldier, I always wanted to be like him. He used to say: "I am so proud of you, son". Attention! Combat boots on, guns ready, attack! One afterthe other... They all die... Dad would be so proud of me. At ease! At ease, huh? Dad is dead. My condolences. We owe our lives to dad. I owe everything to him. Soldiers are immortal, nations are indivisible. You'll fucking serve the army too, you pussy boy Can! Pussy boy! We should leave now. These hands were so tiny. Size of a cat's paw. They said you wouldn't live. So tiny. Now look at these... Why don't you join a support group forfallen officers' families? You're always at home. It's not that. It's the seaside I miss. I can't rememberthe last time I walked on the beach. You're in Izmir, the beaches are only minutes away from here... How can I leave your brother on his own? Let me go. Let go. I wish we were easier kids. I wouldn't exchange either of you forthe entire world. Let the world see what a true son is. Mom... Leave me. Please excuse the drama. Say hi to yourparents. Mom, come here. We leave and you stay here, OK? Promise to write! Promise me. Call them to come back, right away. Kezban, what are you angry for? Aren't you the one who had Ahmet followed? There is something fishy about the whole thing. He said Ahmet is clean but I am sure he isn't... Call the girl to come back. There is no point keeping herthere. Mom. Someone's at the door! Is Can Ozturk here? Hold on. You asshole. Amoustache? My lover likes it. You ruined a good job for a fuck? Something could have happened to you. You never called. What's wrong with you? He is in deep shit. You don't even know him. His family doesn't accept him. I can't leave him here. I don't understand why this should be your business. He will be saferwith me. "German rescues gay lover from radical Islamic family..." Perfect! Have you gone nuts? Not only that, I love him. Why don't you adopt a gay boy from all nations of the third world? You could build a rainbow community. I can't abandon a person in need. Those kids in Afghanistan were going to die anyway. There was a war going on. I didn't even speak the language. I shouldn't have pushed forthose pictures. You could have stepped on those mines yourself. I'm the one who lives with this every day. There're mines everywhere. I can't keep doing this. If he everbreaks your heart, don't call me. What's up? She won't stop. She starts calling at 5am everyday. I'm really sick of lying for you. Is it worth it? What are you hiding? Whatever it is, just be brave and come out with it. They delivered this yesterday. Dad, I need to tell you something. I passed the exam. Good job. God bless you son. When do you think you'll be here? Dad, please. I beg you, don't... We're going to introduce you to a nice girl. Dad, what could I possibly do there? Apply for your military service, and come back to Urfa. Yourpast, yourfuture, your destiny... It's all here... He doesn't care. Why couldn't you ask about the police station? Why didn't you make him come back? I'll find a way. He's got little left to finish. While we eat shit there? You are bankrupt. We're living in misery and he dishonors us. You even sold yourgold teeth. People are laughing at us. We were taken to the police. People make fun of us on the streets, in the mosques... I'd give you anotherson right now, but it takes a real man. I gave you a son and a daughter. Yourson didn't turn out to be a man. Stop this nonsense, Kezban. God damn you... You faggot. He took after you. What have you got here? You're weak and mute. God, damn you! You have no pride. You have no dignity, no honor. Look at your honor... It's being trampled on. You're an absolute disgrace. It's my conscience that stops me. Do you think I am not sad? Traditions matter more than ourconscience. Go ahead, hide in the barn, cover your head. I told you when he was a little boy to get rid of the Zenne then. You paid no heed. God forgive us forwhat we've done or are about to do. I can not act until I have concrete proof. We believe in the same God, Kezban. He will whisperto me. I wish you'd stay. When mom gives orders, you have to obey... You are still in college, are they sick orwhat? Bankruptcy! He's broke. They can't afford to support both of us. I fucked up yourlife as well. Never mind. I'll pay forthat too. You take care of yourself. Murat, I need yourhelp. I am pregnant... I want this child but not marriage. If we get to the point... Sis? Yeah, we are all fine. Can? No, that's not what I meant. I was going to go to the army recruiting center... a German photographer was studying my art. Are you a faggot? Did you apply foran exemption? Would you like coffee? I want to take you to Germany. What would I do there? You'll stay with me. My house big. I'll do everything for you. The military won't let go of me. What kind of photos do they want? Holy shit. Disgusting. They must really enjoy this. Sukran, could you make tea for us? I really don't like what I'm hearing. You guys will drive me crazy. Between my mom, the cops and no job. We haven't even paid the rent. Why? It's been paid. How? Here. Did you pay it? Don't I live here? How many times have I told you? Enough! I support this house. I am not a sponger. I sleep here, eat here. I am here... got that? I'll go with you. The way I look they'll never believe I am gay. Make me a Zenne. Some cream? Oh, you speak German? My ex-husband was from Bavaria. I lived in Munich formany years. How did you like Bavaria? I don't know. I didn't really feel at home. The people... but now, I miss it very much. Bavaria is beautiful. I hope Ahmet will enjoy it there with me. What are you doing? Take this! Stand in line. We'll check the lists. Come here. What are you waiting for? I have to check your behind. Turn over! I don't think I can. Wiggle a bit. Where are you from, son? Urfa. Wow, Urfa. Not a traitor but a taker. What do you do forliving? I am a Zenne, sir. Would a real man shake his hips forliving? I always wanted to dance, sir. Good, then. We can always use a go-go dancer. I am gay, sir. We can't hear you here, speak up! I am homosexual. How can we be sure of that? I brought you pictures. Here, take these. What's this look? What does yourdad have to say about this faggotry? Sir, my fatherwas a commanderlike you. He died in combat in southeastern Turkey. Not sure, what he'd say now... Give me the envelope. So? Sorry, wrong envelope. We'll show you how it works. Take him. Dad, I am fine... You forgot these in the car. We'll take care of that. I have to be honest. I don't need these anymore. Shove them up yourass. How about shoving them up your girlfriend's ass. Stick them up your mother's cunt. Pick on someone yourown size, asshole. Dad, I will go faraway. Forgive me. I am a faggot. It's all my fault. What's yourshow tonight? Here, this is formaking a Zenne out of me. You're a natural. Take this, idiot. Go to my apartment and take whatever you want. I don't need yourfilthy stuff. Ah OKthen... Don't you everwear colorless clothes again. I don't want to see you in white ever again. I'll miss you too. Answerthe phone. Please. You sneaky little cunt. You faggot's daughter, you! My brotheris saving himself from you. Your God left you a cripple. You're gonna die here all alone. Dad. One, two, three, four... Five, six, seven, eight. Ahmet, raise yourarms. Ahmet? Follow him, son. Ahmet, raise yourarms... Four, five, six, seven, eight. And we neverforget to smile. Abig round of applause. That's one, two, three solid leads. Three. We'd need 30 private contracts to make up the kind of revenue we're out. Hey, we're doing our best here. You got 80% of the company in bed with the Navy, and... And what, Ron? We need that military contract. Not gonna happen. Navy wants to go light. Steel is out, poly fiber is in. Dalton, did the contract expire, or did it expire? Expired. And are we gonna get it back? Don't see it happening. Legal doesn't see it happening, Ron. Maybe we should stop yapping about a Navy contract we don't have anymore and figure out how (slams hand on table) to sell some damn steel! I have to go. Give our best to the Secretary of the Navy. And good luck with the speech. As President and CEO of Wickes Steel Shipbuilding, I'm proud of the work my family has put into building these great machines. They're an unshakable foundation upon which the Navy can take her fleet to new heights. How was that? MAN: That was perfect, sir. Thank you. WICKES: Was I loud enough? JARVIS: Always are. (laughs) Mr. Secretary, I... I feel sorry for you having to follow that. Oh, I was going to have you take a look at my speech, maybe do a little punch up. WICKES (chuckles): Like old times, huh? We made a great team. I mean, older and wiser shows me how to hit the books. Younger and more handsome shows you (chuckles) how to win the hearts. Ah, That was a long time ago. A less complicated time. Hm. Um, you know... we have business to talk about, Clayton. Sure. Well, uh... we'll do it privately. I'll come over to house. Better hurry, I may not own the place much longer. Get down! Falcon down! He's been hit in the chest. Stop him! ♪ NCIS 9x18 ♪ The Tell Original Air Date on March 20, 2012 == sync, corrected by elderman == ♪ (whispers): Hey, McGee. Vance is not here, either. Doesn't his son have a soccer game in Alexandria? No, that is next week. Tony's ignoring my calls, and it is very unlike Gibbs to just disappear like this. (whispers): Something is going on. Actually, I think Tony said something about being on SECNAV's PSD today. That's probably a cover. I think they must be at some kind of man day. You know, when men take a day to do man things together. Really? Yes. And just because I am a woman, they do not have the courtesy to tell me where they are going or when they will be back. I'm a man. That's right! Which makes this even worse. I'm going to Tony again. (phone ringing) We're doing our best to keep the investigation closed. Clayton? Uh, no update yet, Mr. Wickes. We're trying to keep this out of the press. The less our shooter knows, the better off we are. Okay, we're asking these people to not say anything about what they saw. I saw a man with a gun. Right, I got that. So you're going to be in this group. You're going to answer their questions, then you're going to go home. Okay? You're going to lay low and you're going to tell your people that you need some personal time. No, I don't want that. I want him kept separate from the group. He was standing next to Jarvis. He had a better view than anybody. The gunman, he was wearing a blue hat. I saw him. Okay, okay. We're going to put you with a sketch artist, You write down everything you remember. Of course, anything. VANCE: Gibbs. Massive blood loss, doesn't look good. His family's been notified. Agent Gibbs, follow me to the hospital. DiNozzo, you put him in a car back to headquarters. I'll meet you there. Gentlemen, welcome to the party. It's BYOS: Bring Your Own Shooter. I brought mine-- Tyler Elliott, my lead investigator. Gibbs, Vance, NCIS. Agent Gibbs, bravo. Big doubts about you going in, but you were way better than expected. Meryl Streep better. Ah. Take that as a compliment. This one tells it like it is, to a fault. Been there for the real thing. Are you confirming that all our marks were hit, Doctor? (door opens) On the money, Leon. Break out the champagne. Opening night was a success. Well done. McGEE: Hey, where you been, we've been calling? What's going on? Man day is over, and he is still ignoring us. I am not going to be ignored. Glenn Close, Fatal Attraction. Good one, Ziva. Your impression of "hot lady with crazy eyes" is dead on, by the way. You are a, uh, sphinx of a minx. Game time fellas, just like we planned it. Tony, do not try to talk your way out of this by calling me hot. McGEE: He also called you crazy, Ziva. ZIVA: Ooh, I will unleash crazy on him if he does not apologize for leaving me out of the loop. JARVIS: That won't be necessary, Special Agent David. Today was phase one of a joint PsyOps/NCIS directive-- a staged assassination attempt of yours truly. So that's where you were. Welcome to the need to know. Target is Phillip J. Wickes of Wickes Steel Shipbuilding. I want it known that Phillip Wickes is a personal friend. I signed off on this op under the condition that we look just as hard for his innocence as we do for his guilt. Understood? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Director Vance. One week ago, a page from a highly classified file surfaced online. That same day, SECNAV got a love letter demanding that he put the brakes on the Navy's green initiative which is to build all new subs and ships with lighter, alternative materials. TONY: If the SECNAV refuses to play, the e-mail threatens to release more pages from the file. It's straight-up blackmail. What is in this document, Director? The file was remotely lifted from a database at AUTEC. That's the the Atlantic... Atlantic Undersea Test and Evaluation Center. It's a facility where they test military technology. Unmanned submersible drones, Mk-48 torpedo simulators... Easy, McBradbury. The file details a simulated warfare test done at AUTEC. First page, no context, but you throw in a couple more, suddenly you're announcing the weaknesses of every port on the Eastern seaboard. Cyber division couldn't ID the source of the breach in AUTEC's firewall, but they did tell us the blackmail message was e-mailed from... Wickes Steel. Last month, the Navy said that they were done with Wickes. Good-bye government contracts, hello bankruptcy. So, the blackmailer is Phillip Wickes? GIBBS: It's his company. He's got a pretty good motive. But how is pretending to shoot SECNAV going to lead us to our blackmailer? RYAN: Seeing his childhood friend shot, Wickes is highly vulnerable. The idea is to tell him that we've connected the shooting to Wickes Steel and AUTEC. If Wickes is part of this blackmail, then he's going to want to know why his people pulled the trigger. Eyes and ears on this guy 24/7. Anyone he connects with is a suspect. What if Wickes isn't involved? Oh, he'll tell us something, even if he doesn't intend to. Got your earpiece. No, I don't need you in my ear, Doc. (chuckles) You know what you need. Oh, yes I do. Really? Yeah. Hey, you think you don't need me, Agent Gibbs, but you're wrong. But now I'm curious. What do you need? Well, that question works both ways. I need you to go in there, and man-to-man, establish a bond with Wickes. I need you to say what I tell you, when I tell you. I need to study Wickes' language, his body, and most importantly, his limbic, physical response the first time he hears the word AUTEC. And from that, I need to decide whether or not he's involved. Hmm, usually I just get 'em to say they did it. It's easier. Breakfast the other night, did I or did I not deduce that you like powdered sugar and not syrup on your pancakes before the pancakes were ordered without you saying one word? I rest my case. His hat was definitely blue. I... I wrote in my notes, uh, (sighs) more royal, than navy. I think that's correct. Oh, don't tell me you can't last longer than this. GIBBS: We've been at this a long time, Mr. Wickes. It's unfair to see a guy go through this for over two hours with nothing in return. I want to help all that I can. See, he's a giver. Okay, keep 'em rolling. Repeat after me: How many employees from your company were aware of today's symposium? A lot of your people know about this thing today? WICKES: Yes. Why? Are you suggesting that someone from my company could be involved? No, tell him it's unlikely. Make him your friend first. We'll get to that later. Tell him. Not likely. Wickes Steel is going through a... (sighs) pretty tough time. But we'll push through, I mean, this company was built on simple pride. My grandfather started with an idea. My father worked there till the day he died. The old man loved his female employees. I have more relatives and half-relatives working for me than you can imagine. (chuckles) What am I talking about? This is about Clayton. Even though I was older, he always looked out for me. We use to call him the Mayor. (sighs) I just want to see him pull through this. RYAN: It's okay, let him go. Gibbs, Gibbs, let him come back to you. (sighs) Just be patient. Think about something else. The sweater I wore to your house the other night, what color was it? I know you remember. No! No, no... (sighs) We think the shooter has a connection to AUTEC. You know what AUTEC is, Mr. Wickes? I do. A lot of unhappy folks from your company knew exactly where SECNAV was gonna be today. Do any of them have a connection to AUTEC projects? Lawrence Ridgeway. He wasn't the man with the gun, but... Details. (sighs) Wickes built something for AUTEC back in the '70s. Before my time. Ridgeway was the only one still around that worked on it. Last month, I had to lay him off, two weeks shy of retirement. Lawrence did not take it well. What the hell was that? Doc, I don't have all year to figure this out. I told you I needed to study Wickes. You just watched him for two hours. Yes. And then you blocked my view at the critical moment. First mention of AUTEC, all I saw was the back of your big fat head. I can't even confirm now that he was involved in the blackmail. Looks like Ridgeway might be. Oh, you think Wickes was rattled enough to give up a partner just like that? Or he's just telling us what he knows, and he's innocent. I didn't try to block your view. I didn't try to ruin anything. That's it? Is that all you have to say? No. Lawrence Ridgeway. TONY: Say hello to Lawrence Ridgeway. A spry 62, and loving it. Third-generation steelworker, hired at Wickes Steel when he was just a kid. Dedicated employee, sort of like yours truly. By the way, I want to thank you for allowing me to participate in the SECNAV op. Thank the Doc. She's the one who chose you. Yeah, I thought your game show host quality would be good for the stage. Ziva? ZIVA: Ridgeway has had a rough year. Lost thousands in company stock, he was recently laid off, and if Wickes Steel goes under, he will likely lose his pension. SECNAV's green plan ruined this guy. Sounds like a motive to me. McGEE: If Ridgeway did it, he had help. There's no way he's got the skills to break through AUTEC's firewall. I found a post of his on a PC forum asking what a cookie is. (laughs) Old people. Old people entertain me. I can tell you Wickes didn't have the know-how to pull off this AUTEC job, either. I think we're looking at a team. So you determined from the interview that Wickes is involved? (clears throat) My findings were inconclusive. GIBBS: Any contact between Wickes and Ridgeway? Not a peep out of Wickes since we let him go. Wickes is a chess player. It doesn't surprise me that he's taking some time before he makes his next move. McGee, get me a location on Ridgeway. On it. DiNozzo, Ziva, get going. Oh, um, instead of Wink Martindale here, I think I'd like to send Elliott. TONY: Wink? Come on, at least go Chuck Woolery. No, let me at him. I'm the king of non-verbal indicators. Yes, he is. Unless, of course, somebody blocks his view. GIBBS: Ziva, take Elliott with you. Come on. (whispers): Game show host. Did you see that? Is she serious about this whole game show host thing? Oh, the doc does not mess around when it comes to peoples' personality traits. Gibbs smiled at her. I saw it. And the way he walked to the elevator-- it was... It was what? Bouncy. Gibbs' walk definitely had a bounce to it. Yeah, happy feet. I saw it. Feet are the most honest part of a human's body. Eyes are not bad indicators, as well. I saw Ryan's dilate when Gibbs walked into her office the other day. So, what do you think this means? Oh, interest, excitement, you know. It's a neurovascular response. The fact is, the only one who knows what a person is thinking is the person who's thinking it. I thought you PsyOps agents could interpret everything. No. And even if we could, we wouldn't tell you. Mm. So, Dr. Ryan-- is she...? The best. The annoying big sister I never had. I'd do anything for her, and if Gibbs hurts her, I'll kill him. (laughs) Oh, sorry. I shoot straight, and hope that it'll be tempered by my teddy-bear cuteness. Uh-huh. Bullet hole through the window. Clear. Clear. Well, that's Ridgeway. Looks like he's been dead a few days. What else do you see, Mr. Observant? This guy's not gonna be painting anytime soon. He's not gonna be answering any questions, either. Dr. Ryan, from the moment Jethro first mentioned your name and told me of your passion for the inner workings of the human mind, I knew I had found a kindred spirit. Kindred spirit. That's exactly what I was gonna to say. Plenty of time for spirits later, Duck? Ah. Thank you, Jethro. Ever diligent in the war on small talk. Single gunshot wound to the chest. The bullet pierced the sternum, headed straight through the dorsal side, and lodged itself in an adjacent wall. Happily, it is now in the capable hands of Miss Sciuto. GIBBS: That it? Well, based on the rate of decomposition, he expired approximately 72 hours prior to discovery. GIBBS: Before we started playing Wickes. Oh, please. Mr. Ridgeway. Do you mind if I call you Larry? (whispers): Ooh, I like this woman. So, Elliott tells me you never saw the bullet coming, and that you were getting ready to paint. So, let's just say you were involved in a plot to blackmail the Secretary of the Navy. You with me, Larr? Is brightening up the den really the top of your priority list? I'm pretty sure that Larr-bear here wasn't involved. I think he just knew something that someone didn't want him telling us. (whispers): She's phenomenal. But can she make assumptions like this? She just did, Duck. (phone rings) Yeah, Abbs. In my lab. I'm on my way. "War on small talk." Classic. Impressive. Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs! Look, I know that McGee thinks that AUTEC is just a military facility, but I have possible proof of an actual sighting of a USO. That's an Unidentified Submerged Object. Oh. Hello. Hello. I'm Dr. Samantha... Ryan. I know. So, what am I thinking? You're thinking I can't possibly know what you're thinking. You're good. Abby. Come on. What do you got? A lot. AUTEC is, like, crazy amazing. You've got your Bermuda Triangle, your wormholes, you've got your magnetic field deviations. Just wish there was a way to contain it all. You're a mapper. Oh. I'm warning you. You should get out of my head while you still can. Can you map the bullet back to the shooter? Slug that killed Ridgeway, it's 30-caliber, definitely unusual. The one thing I do know is that it's not military specs. I'm still trying to track it back to the exact weapon it was fired from. Track faster, Abbs. You know why you're so gruff all the time? You need more sex. I'm not answering that. You just did. I am telling you, I saw a bounce in his step. And Elliott... Elliott was sure about Ryan's pupils, as well. How am I gonna survive Gibbs dating a woman who thinks I'm a game show host? What does that even mean? Does she think I'm cheesy? That I like pencil-thin microphones? See, I don't buy it. Gibbs is a lone wolf. You have to be observant. Next time they come in here, you need to open your eyes and really look. GIBBS: Okay, what are we looking at? Updates on Ridgeway's shooter. Go. Ridgeway was shot three days ago. Ryan's had eyes on Wickes for the last week. He wasn't the triggerman. Well, he could have ordered it earlier. McGee, e-mails? Wickes has contacted three people since we suggested the AUTEC connection to the SECNAV's shooting. ZIVA: Bob "Smitty" Smith, Ronald Ostrowski, and Vice President Frank Satner. TONY: All haunt the Wickes Steel boardroom. Whole lot of motive going on. Working to clear their backgrounds, but so far, all talks have been work-related and clean. Look for codes. Yeah. And cross-reference keywords with recent e-mails. Whoever shot Ridgeway wanted to keep him quiet for a reason. Could be this. Report detailing the project Ridgeway worked on for AUTEC. Well, it's been redacted. Yeah. Can we get access? Mm. Won't be a cakewalk. Leads on the AUTEC hacker? Whoever he is, he's good. Hid his IP behind a wall of alternating secure servers. We need to get in this report. Okay. RYAN: Bad news. There's more red tape around that thing than I have ever seen. The good news is, I have a talent for badgering people until they give me what I need. Hard to believe. Wickes is lying low for a reason. I think he eliminated the only remaining connection between his company and AUTEC. I think he saw us snooping around. I think he sent us straight to Ridgeway's door. I mean, who would suspect him? You. (phone chimes) Your son? You're not the only one who can spot a tell, Doc. Parker's a funny kid. He's trying to wrangle fast food out of my sister. (laughs) No. You got pictures? Your surveillance pictures weren't good enough? By the way, bad of me. Well, that's not the kind of Kodak moment I was thinking. (laughs) He was just little when he gave it to me. He used to love boats almost as much as you do. He said it was the two of us, and that we were on this boat, sailing away, happy. He wanted to take you away. Who's playing doctor now? (phone ringing) Yeah, McGee. Boss, I finally got the IP for the computer used to hack into AUTEC. Belongs to a government consultant named Amanda Baylor. So that's our computer genius? An encryption specialist. And you are never gonna believe where she works. (whirring, rhythmic beeping) (tires screech) Yes, I can confirm that one Amanda Baylor is in the hiz-ouse. Very unattractive, in case you're wondering. By the way, are you aware of a little film called The Graduate? Mike Nichols. Fantastic. "Would you like me to seduce you?" Wait, what? Were you quoting the movie or was that real? Where's Baylor? Secure encryption room. She's in the middle of a 72-hour shift. Logged in 14.5 hours ago, before I got here. Once an encryptor goes in, they don't come out-- department policy. Probably well on the way to being ripe in there. Did you know that your hair sparkles under these fluorescents? Really? How much does it sparkle? So much. So much? So, so much. Open it. Can't. No in, no out. Encryptors even have their own private commode. There's a lot of confidential crap in there. Here. I can make sure you don't lose your job, but there might be something else we could talk about you losing. I've decided to open it. Thank you. Where is she? This did not happen on my watch. When she clocked in I was still in my pj's, jamming to Luther Vandross. Wow, this is a beautiful setup. They're running themselves? No, Mrs. R. They're being run remotely. Amanda Baylor. Are you there? ZIVA: Amanda Baylor, 28, unmarried, freelance encryption specialist, graduated from MIT with a degree in applied mathematics. What else? That's pretty much it, boss. With the exception of a few personnel files from the Iron Crypt, it's like she doesn't exist. Well, she existed enough to have stolen that file from AUTEC and set up a pretty good alibi. How often was she logged in at work when she wasn't actually there? Can we link her to Phillip Wickes? We have not been able to tie Baylor to anyone at Wickes Steel. Not even the board stooges. Wickes is still only talking to them and only about pushing paper. What about a line from Amanda Baylor to our dead guy? ZIVA: Baylor does not have a history with firearms, but it is still possible (phone rings) that she shot Ridgeway. Yeah, Abbs. Tell her you're on your way. I'm on my way. There, there it is. I don't see it. She's right. There was a bounce. Damn it. ABBY: Welcome to AUTEC and the surrounding areas of the Caribbean. What is this? The Bermuda Triangle. And an ode to my inner mapper. I'm marking the site of each and every amazing thing that happened here. Well, you can't just say that and not give us a little taste. I wouldn't dream of it. Okay, so this bullet marks where the USS Cyclops vanished in the Triangle, and this bullet is the Bimini Wall. It's a possible location for Atlantis. And this bullet, Gibbs, this is the Tongue of the Ocean. It's like an underwater Grand Canyon, and we think that AUTEC is running cables down more than 6,000 feet. To what we don't know. Any of these bullets have a point, Abbs? The bullet that killed Ridgeway. I traced that back to a company called Vita Foras. Vita Foras. It's Latin. Rough translation: "Great Outdoors." I'd guess we're looking at hunting weapons? You would guess right. More specifically, extremely rare hunting rifles, the kind that crazy hard-core collectors would trade. Hard to track. Exactly. Love your triangle, Abbs. I... I just have to ask. You're in the business of proving things with science. Why this need to chart the unexplainable? Wait, you're in my head, right? I'm just going to answer you in my thoughts. Wow. I get it. You are a trip, Ms. Sciuto. That's a good thing, right? (sighs) What now? Where is Baylor and who shot Ridgeway? Wickes might be able to tell us if we ask nicely. I'll ask. I've seen your nice. I'm going with you. You said man-to-man. Oh. Right, I'm sorry, we haven't met. Hi, I'm Elizabeth Brighton, SECNAV's public affairs officer during this time of crisis. Wickes and I are going to form a special bond of our own. (snickers) GIBBS: We think she might have a connection to whoever shot the secretary. You know her? (sighs) I don't recognize her. Did you talk to Lawrence Ridgeway? He's dead. He was murdered? Murder weapon was a hunting rifle. It's rare. You know anyone with something like that? (phone rings) WICKES: No. Yeah, it's Gibbs. Do you think she shot both of them? We don't know. As I mentioned, I am serving as the secretary's public affairs officer, and he asked me to thank you for your help with all of this, and he wanted me to pass on a message that the Mayor was sorry that he missed your birthday last month. I, I don't know what to say. There were complications with the second surgery. Nothing more they can do. VANCE: An interesting day on the World Wide Web. A second helping of the AUTEC file has been leaked. Page is a table of contents listing all the ports analyzed in the file. They're toying with us. First leak was Baylor, second one has got to be her, too. So let's grab her. Working on it. Work harder, Gibbs, I'm about to go down as the ass who took a fake shot in the chest for nothing. I think "nothing" would be stretching it, sir. Where'd you get this? Borrowed it from Wickes. He took a good look at it right after Gibbs updated him about your condition. Well, that makes sense-- picture of the two of them together. He also looked at it directly after he heard that Ridgeway was shot with a rare hunting rifle. Can you think of any possible connection between that photo and a weapon of that type? Picture was taken at his family's cabin. We were on a hunting trip. Are you gonna try to tell me that Wickes was implicating himself? Wickes didn't pull the trigger, but the rifle could have been his and so could the hire. The plan was to monitor Phillip's communication after the mention of AUTEC. You did that, you came up with nothing. Sir, there is a good possibility that Wickes looking at this picture was a tell. I suggest that you press him further, search his house... No. If he's involved... I said no. I'm not going to rest this entire investigation on a glance. Maybe he was looking past the photo, through the wall, down the street to a church to ask God what in the hell he did to deserve this torture. What then, Dr. Ryan? I'm done. Get Wickes in here. Now. (over speaker): Agent Gibbs, why am I here? (sighing) (sighing) (door opens) Clayton? My God. Bad information, Phil. They got it wrong. I'm sorry. No, no, I-I'm, I'm just so... JARVIS: Someone is trying to blackmail me, blackmail the United States Navy. Phil, they think it's you. Are you involved? No. He believes him. You? Yes. (door opens) (sighs) Wickes say anything else? He signed a nondisclosure agreement. Oh, so he's being cooperative? Is that why you came down here? No, I came to see what you were doing. You mean you came to gloat. Oh, come on, Gibbs, don't make me do it for you. You thought Wickes was innocent the minute you left that first interview, and based on the lack of evidence we have against him and the indicators in the room with Jarvis, you were right. We need to focus on Baylor. No, no, you need to say it. We all thought he might be clean; none of us knew for sure. I knew for sure. That's why you need to say it. Say what? That I was wrong, Gibbs, and I'm never wrong. And today of all days, I was wrong. Today, Doc, is as good a day as any. (chuckles) No, it's not. I keep telling myself Wickes looked at this picture for a reason, but he didn't. Not once have I thought this man anything but guilty. (scoffs) What kind of person does that make me? Human. ELLIOTT: Hey, Doc, your black belt in badgering people pays off once again. Ridgeway's AUTEC report sans redactions. You find anything? In the late '70s, Ridgeway was paid to keep quiet about a classified technology he inadvertently saw while at AUTEC. The report says the government paid dozens of people off. Cash makes people forget. Yeah, well, for 500K, I'd keep quiet, too, even if I did see little green men on a destroyer. Anyway, Ridgeway knew the money came from a pool of government funds used for AUTEC payoffs. It's a off-books account that hasn't been touched in decades. But this money has been accruing interest? How much money? TONY: $327 million and change. Boss, I'm seeing multiple attempts to hack into this account over the last week. It's got to be Amanda Baylor. Baylor was hired to steal the AUTEC file and this money? Blackmail was a diversion. It explains why they never really said anything that hurt us. We're watching the AUTEC files, they have a better shot getting in and out of the bank account undetected. It's all about the Benjamins. Well, it looks like Baylor's taking another stab at the account right now. She's accessing remotely, and she didn't bother burying her IP so deep this time. She did not expect us to look for her there. Right, I got her. Getting a Wi-Fi ping. Ziva, DiNozzo, go... She's just off the I-95. I'm texting you the coordinates. Are you sure this is the place? Well, what happened? You don't trust the, uh, authority of McMaps? (truck horn blows nearby) (whispering): All right. It's like Silence of the Lambs meets Scooby-Doo. Freeze! Hands up! Do I look like I'm running? Amanda Baylor, you have the right... (sniffs) to take a bath. You smell like a wild goat. I've been busy. Too busy for personal hygiene? When I am focused, I am focused. You know, McGee like them gamey, but I'm not sure he'd go for this one. Oh, I clean up nice. Why don't you put the computer down and step out here? Let's go, Animal Kingdom. Come on. So, who are you working with? Ah, um... I don't know. Well, we know some stuff about the blackmail and about the AUTEC account. We also know that you're in cahoots with someone inside Wickes Steel. Um... Did you just use the word cahoots? I did. Nice. All right, somebody hired me, through Wickes, but, uh, I don't have a name. Didn't want one. Was it Ridgeway? Did you kill him? I don't kill people. I hack. I haven't really left the van. No kidding. Next time, hacker, why don't you crack a window? This is all of Baylor's computer hardware. No sign of the rifle used to shoot Ridgeway in her van or in the apartment. Abby, you do know that AUTEC is just a facility where they run tests, right? No, Tim, it is a potluck of the unexplained, and this scientist is eating it up; you know why? Because there's a lot of really important things that can't be explained. Like what, Abbs? Like Atlantis. Like the disappearance of the Lady Hampshire. Like love. Abbs... I don't have anything yet, Gibbs. The computers just got here. Well, maybe this stuff will help.; it's all the files we've compiled on the case so far. What are you doing? (shutter clicks) I'm taking a picture of you with my map. Trust me, you will thank me later. Oh, I know that look. I like that look. The photo of Jarvis and Wickes, where is it? Right here, why? What just happened? Another unexplained phenomena. Sometimes, you just have to believe. Who took the picture? Haven't we already done this? VANCE: Gibbs, be careful. RYAN: The tell. Wickes looked at the picture because of who was behind the camera, not in front of it. Who took the picture, sir? (sighs) Carl Dalton. He used to go hunting with us. Does he have a connection to the company? He's Wickes' half-brother and in-house counsel for Wickes Steel. DALTON: Phillip, what's going on? You said you were in trouble? I'm not in trouble, Carl, you are. Please tell them they're wrong. Did you kill Lawrence Ridgeway? I'm sorry. No. You shot him? It's my job to look out for you. To look out for this family. People depend on me. When they told me about the rifle, I thought... but I didn't want to believe it was you. Ridgeway told me about the account. If that money disappeared, and they came asking, he would have pointed to me. He was a loose end. I had to protect us. And why not blackmail the Secretary of the Navy while you're at it. That was nothing ; it was an empty threat. It was a diversion. Man is still dead. But that AUTEC money is just sitting there, and we're about to lose everything. I did this for both of us. We needed it, Phillip. Didn't we? Didn't we? Oh, no. Vance nails you with the shredding detail, huh? Yes, from redacted to unredacted to recycling to... Tell me, I have a question. Hmm? Do you believe? Believe in what? (sighs) Well, unexplained things, secrets, occurrences that we're really not supposed to talk about? Oh. Well... I believe that there are moments, experiences that someone like McGee, with his trusty computer, couldn't justify. When Gibbs left tonight, I... thought I saw it again. Saw what? The bounce. You know, I've been thinking about that. Boss don't bounce. You cannot expect a person to keep things bottled up inside forever, can you? RYAN: Mm, charades. Let's play. Now? (snorts) It's as good a time as any. (chuckles) No. Why not? Because I don't play games, Doc. (laughs) Like hell you don't. You know, people keep looking at their watch, usually means they're worried about something. You got to run? Oh, I've been running. Maybe it's time you stopped? I wish I could. You can. Parker can. You have no idea. You still want to play charades? Yeah. I got to go. (laughs) Really? Mm-hmm. Parker. You know, I can help you, Doc, with your ex. (chuckles) No, you can't. Oh, yeah, I can. I need to go home and check my judgment. It's about Wickes again? You were right about the tell. He looked at that photo for a reason. Yeah, he did. That's not enough. So, you were wrong about the guy. No one here likes you any less. I want to stop running, Gibbs. Really see the people around me and not just blurs as I fly by. Really see them. I just don't know if I can. Not yet. I'm here, Doc. I know. (clears throat) == sync, corrected by elderman == Previously on Dance Academy... Our problem is with your kind. You're a second-year in a first-year leotard and we don't like the second-years. Even if there was a moment, we've probably missed it, so there's no point in... You're not OK with Kat and Christian. You're still angry. Since when had being gay defined me? I kind of lied before. I do like the neurotic ones. Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells Go, go, go! What is going on out here? ! None of you are going to sleep until your side is spotless. But the first-years ambushed us! No excuses! And you two, don't even pretend that you've been fishing. Oh, um... In that case, you have broken curfew. Put that down, pick up a mop! Another strike? There'll be more. We're one step ahead. Particularly concerning ballet. We would thrash you any day. Are you threatening a ballet battle? There's no such thing. A hip-hop war. Second-year crew versus the ballet tragics. Saturday afternoon, 12:45 at the cafe. We're done here. Let's bounce. They're well oiled, I'll give them that much. Oh, sorry. How is it possible you slept through that? Let me guess - Christian? 'Cause you're not going to see him for, like, a whole six hours. Ha-ha. Look at you. You're addicted. I'm NOT addicted. Your pupils are permanently dilated. You made him your phone wallpaper. Coming from the girl who spoons her Pilates mat. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery, Kat. Tara, I was extremely disappointed that you were involved in last night's idiocy. I had no option. To be distracted when your recovery has put you so far behind. What happened to finding your inner anger? Miss Raine's right - I need to put my head down, work harder. Are you thick, woman? You exposed an abusive teacher and your dad is close to suing the academy. If that's not a get-out-of-jail-free card, I don't know what is. So... so we're not one of those vomit-inducing couples, I was thinking we should introduce some guidelines for behaviour. Guidelines? It could be fun. Just on obvious stuff, like a limit on PDAs, and no holding hands. We're both capable of walking unaccompanied. I'll give you two hours before you crack. You're not that irresistible. Comrades, let us rally together. Mandatory hip-hop training session, wharf-side, lunch. Since you're all so keen on warring, we're doing Spartacus today in repertoire. Except you, Tara. I want a slow, technical barre. He's a racist and a little shady, maybe, but a murderer? It may be just a feeling, but I know he's in this. We just need to figure out how. Iayudame! Iayudame! Shot execution style just like all the others. Why put him in there? There must be something symbolically important. There's something inconsistent about the staging. It's not remorse, and it's not a forensic countermeasure either. Each of these families were registered gun owners. That must be how he's selecting his victims. He wants them to fight back. It's propaganda for his race war. He's turning the families into martyrs. And the fall guy takes the blame. But now he's lost control because his fall guy got away, and he's devolving. His name's Ramon Gomez. He's an undocumented immigrant from Mexico City. And he's pretty freaked out. Well, that's understandable. Was he able to give a description of the unsub? Just of the vehicle. His English is not good. We put an APB out. Hola. Mi nombre es Emily Prentiss. Preston campaign headquarters. This is... And please tell everybody that I appreciate all of their help. Sometimes I don't have a chance to do it personally, so it's really great what they do. Hey, uh, Clark, you got a second? Becky, give me a minute, will you? Trevor, you know better than to come here. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. We talked about this. Yeah, I know, Clark, but, please, I really have to talk to you. - Not here. Not now. - But it's important. I'll come by as soon as I can, but get the hell out of here, and don't ever come back. Oh, yeah, yeah, ok. That's much better. That's much better. Now you have to turn these both around. This signature. And then bring it... Get everyone in there. There are approximately two hours between Ramon's abduction here and his escape here. He crossed the train tracks here. Now, given the time and distance parameters, there's no way the unsub could have ventured outside this radius. Ok, he said the train was close, and he heard laughter and loud music. I looked at points of interest next to the train tracks and there really isn't much. There's a warehouse, a taco stand that would have been closed, and a bar called the Drunken Dog. Why stop there? He need a drink? He doesn't seem like the drinking type. He's not impulsive or sloppy enough. I live to serve you, sir. Garcia, what can you tell us about a bar called the Drunken Dog? Ooh, I like it already. Let's see. Uh, it's been around 30 years. It was opened by a warehouse worker named Manny Gresham. Upon his death 6 years ago, it was bought by a hedge fund company called First Advantage. Why would a hedge fund company want a bar? Let's see. Well, they bought it for a song, and, poor man, his medical expenses bankrupted him. I guess that's why-- shut the front door. Clark Preston is on the board of First Advantage, which explains why the bar is on a short list of local businesses that support Preston for mayor. Uh... Hey, Clark, uh, it's me again. I did everything like you said, just like we planned it, but something, something went wrong. I don't know what to do. Would you call me back! Please? Ok, we missed something. We need to go back over his staff and contributors again. They all came up clean. Hey, Garcia, look up DMV records and find every registration in the area that matches the description of the unsub's vehicle. Ok, 79 names, and I'm way ahead of you. None of them match anyone on Preston's team. What the what? Oh, I'm good at my job. A Pamela Mills donates monthly to Preston's campaign. Her son Trevor, his car matches the description, and it's registered in his name. Got a photo and an address? Yes, I do. I also have a place of work for Trevor. He is a part-time messenger. I'm sending it now. All right, JJ, Morgan, and Prentiss take the workplace, we'll take the house. And now in political news, with the mayoral race heating up, we caught up with candidate Hilary Ross. Her comments on the recent home invasion... I know. I miss them, too. Ms. Ross, Ms. Ross, what can you tell us about the recent rash of home invasion murders? Well, our community has healing to do. It's gonna take hard work and time to fix. It won't be easy, you stupid bitch! But together... Healing? I know, right? She doesn't have what it takes. We are under siege here, and what is she gonna do? ! What have you got, Garcia? Sir, I found the connection between the Mills family and Clark Preston. 10 years ago, the Mills were the victims of a home invasion. Robert Mills, the father, and 10-year-old Julie were killed. Pamela was raped, and now she has a lot of brain damage that has left her in a near vegetative state. What about Trevor? Mom! He hid in the closet, and when it was over, he called 911. That's why he stuffed that boy in the closet. He was reliving his own victimization. He didn't do that to th other children he murdered because he didn't relate to them. Garcia, was anybody convicted of the crime? Yes. A Ronnie Green and Carlos Jackson. They're both African American, both serving life in Folsom. And then after the murders, Preston, he financially supported the family almost entirely. So they're close. He's known the family for years. That must be how they're paying Pamela's medical expenses. It would be awfully hard to cover that on a part-time messenger's salary. Yeah, I mean, it's a top-flight policy. So Preston is playing the savior. And it looks like that monthly donation that Pamela makes to Preston's campaign is her disability check. My guess is Trevor authorized that because he feels beholden to Preston. He probably idolizes him. So Prestons manipulating the Mills family to further his own agenda. He's behind everything. He took advantage of Trevor when he was weak and vulnerable. He gains his trust, then he brainwashes him. Turn him into a killer. Uh, guys there's something else. FBI! Pamela Mills? House is empty. He's not here, but I found this in his bedroom. It's addressed to her. "The price of peace is sacrifice. "And I'm prepared to pay that price, no matter how high. I hope you'll still love me." This is a good-bye letter. Or a suicide note. He doesn't profile as suicidal. No, but he knows this could be his final mission. He may want to go out in a blaze of glory. It's all about the election. He's only got one move left. We need to secure Mayor Wennington. Have the rest of the team find Hilary Ross. Mmm. Hello. You have reached Hilary Ross. Please leave a detailed message. She's still not answering. Yeah, Morgan. We're on our way to Hilary Ross' house now. She's still not answering her phone. All right, call local police. He's not going to go quietly. Do you have Mayor Wennington? Yeah. Keep me posted. You got it. Hello. You've reached Hilary Ross. I'm still getting nothing. That's her car. All right, you two go around back. I'll draw his fire while you flank him. You sure you want to split up? We gotta cover the back and the front in case he runs. Let's go. Aah! Aah! FBI! Ohh! Oh! You're hit! I'm good. Go, go! He's upstairs. Aah! Get in here! Trevor Mills! FBI! Drop the weapon! It's over! Aah! Aah! Get away from me! Trevor, you don't want to do this. Let me help you or you're gonna die. You help me? Yeah, right! I know about Preston. I know that he put you up to all of this. You damn half-breed! You don't know anything! Trevor, we pulled your phone records. You called Preston 13 times today. So what? ! We pulled his voicemail messages, too. He's using you, kid. That's why he won't call you back. Get out of here or I'll kill this bitch! Listen to me. Just listen. When those men broke in your house, you know who ended up buying it? It was your man Preston. And he got it for nothing. You're a liar! All you people do is you lie! The men convicted of killing your family, they both said somebody paid them off to do that job. They just couldn't prove it. So now they're doing life. Yeah, well, they should have gotten the chair! Come on, Trevor, wake up. Preston set that up. Crime waves hit, property value drops. Then Preston moves in and buys it all up for cheap. Shut up! Trevor, listen to me. He doesn't give a damn about black or white. The only color that son of a bitch cares about is green. Come on, kid, you gotta believe me. Drop the gun. You let her go, we can work it out. He told me you would try to turn me. There are no traitors! Voicemail messages? That's ludicrous. That boy is mentally unstable. He always has been. Clark Preston, you have the right to remain silent. I'm innocent. And please feel free to exercise that right. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, an attorney will be appointed for you. "I'm for truth, no matter who tells it. I'm for justice, no matter who it's for or against." Malcolm X. How you doing? I'm all right. Emily... I'm so sorry. "Out there in the field, sorry doesn't bring people back." Ohh. Come on, I'm messing with you. It's nothing, really. I'm ok. This isn't your fault. Actually, it is. You're a team leader. You made a tactical decision. And you got hurt. Again. You did what you thought was right. And that's all you can do. The rest of it, that's not up to us. That's the job. This is nothing, really. I mean, the thing with Doyle, that... I'm kidding! I'm... == sync, corrected by elderman == MARIA'S TIGHTROPE Maria. Come on, sweetie. Maria, my child. Come on and bring your bag. Let's get going or we'll be late, sweetie. - See you later. - Bye. Maria, say bye. Gosh, I hope we didn't miss the bus. My stomach is killing me. Foguinho, you can't handle fire eating anymore. But I'm not sure about my magic yet. Keep practicing, then. Watch out. Are you hungry, sweetie? I have some cookies here in my purse. So sweet! Keep this for me, dear. My word! These feet are killing me. If I only knew, I'd have changed shoes. My goodness. - Barbuda. - Number 70. Hold on, Foguinho. I'm looking for the place. Look, I did it! Didn't I tell you I had it? You'll be a great magician someday, honey. We're here, Maria. Number 70. - What floor? - Fourth. Shall we? Come on. Howdy, we're going up to see Mrs. Maria Cecilia. Let me see. Lovely. Come on. Hi. We're here. Here? - Let me see. - 403 We're here, sweetie. It's a party! Ring it. Come here. Don't worry. Everything will be all right. Barbuda loves you. Barbuda, honey. Darling, I've missed you! It's Quico's party. He's staying with me for a while. Do you remember Quico? Why didn't you tell me she'd be arriving today? We thought it'd be better to wait a while. You could've told me. Mrs. Maria Cecilia, the circus is on the road. We didn't know exactly when it would stop nearby. Nearby! We walked almost for two hours. - You live pretty far away! - Fine, I see. What really matters is that you're here, my doll. Let me look at you. You didn't grow much in these past fewyears. Let me see your face. Come on. You look so much like - Mrs. Maria Cecilia. Here are her things. - Is this all? - Yes, ma'am. Come on, Maria. - Darling. - Here, sweetie. Excuse me. Quico! Maria is here. - Look at her beard! - "Her"? Careful, kid! What, you think my wife's beard is fake? - Is she really a woman? - Yes, sir. Don't you mind that she has a beard? I sure don't. And she doesn't mind that I'm a fire eater. - You eat fire? - I do. Do it for us. Eat it! Eat it! Gather 'round for my amazing trick! I am about to take this wooden match and light it! Let's hear it! Eat more fire! Just one more time, if you please. Do not try this at home. It's dangerous. Playing with fire means you pee... In bed! Eyes on the fire. That's enough, Foguinho. We have a show tonight. Your stomach can't take this. He's not feeling well, kids. I have to call it quits! That hurt a little on the way out. - What's this for? - Careful! You're going to break it! - Don't pull it like that, son. - What's it for? For balance. Maria works with us in the circus. No, no. From now on, Maria doesn't work anywhere. She will simply study and play, right? What kind of work? She walks along a high wire, way up in the circus ring. That was in the past. This whole business about Maria in the circus is all done. She uses this parasol to help her balance on the tightrope. Are you her mother? No, I'm her godmother. - What about you? - I'm her godfather! Take our picture. Right, that's enough. Can you walk for us, just a little bit? Walk! Walk! Just a little bit, Maria. Please. Do you want to walk? Want to walk the tightrope? - Who likes magic here? - Me! You're about to see a trick by Foguinho the Magnificent. Wait right there. This is a very special box. It came from a very serious land. - Do you see anything inside? - No. It is a magic box, you see? When I go like this- A rose for the pretty girl! Can we get some applause, kindly? You'll share this room with Quico for now. This is all yours, my darling. Do you like the room? It's really high. Put your things away, darling. What is the matter? There's a whole closet just for you! We're used to it Mrs. Maria Cecília. At the circus, we don't get a lot of room. It doesn't matter, my love. We'll get you settled in later. There's no rush. Enjoy the party. There are so many kids here, and so many sweet treats. Go on over to the living room. Go play with Foguinho and the kids, sweetie. Barbuda will be right there. She's so quiet. She's been lately always thinking... - Thinking about what? - Like I'd know! She won't say a thing. It's like she's thinking really hard about something. We think... We think that Maria doesn't remember a thing. - What do you mean? - She won't talk about it. We tell her about things like you and your house, but all she says is I don't remember. Foguinho thinks she doesn't want to remember. If you ask me, she simply can't. What did she say when you told her it was time to live with me? She said she wants to stay in the circus forever. I see. We explained that this is not possible, 'cause she is too little to work by herself like that. She didn't like it one bit. I'm no educated woman like you, Mrs. Maria Cecflia, but I'm very candid and say what's on my mind. It's a crying shame that Maria can't stay with us. You're her grandma, and you have the right but I think she'd be happier with us. The magic rope trick requires great concentration. - Are you concentrating? - Yes! My assistant Maria will give me a hand for the magic rope trick. Maria, pull very hard. - Are you very concentrated? - Yes! Let go, Maria. Foguinho, we're late. There's a show tonight. Thank you. - Bye-bye. - Bye, kids. Is it time already? Show us another trick, Foguinho! No way, we have a show coming up tonight. Do the box again. Kids, didn't you hear me? We have a show tonight. Bye, kids. All the best. Everything will be okay, my sweetie. Give me a hug. Barbuda loves you. - Bye, kids. - Bye. Here. For you. Maybe you'll need it someday. It's yours now, Maria. We promise that whenever the circus is around, or close enough, we'll come visit you, okay? Look out for her, Quico. Maria, let me go. Be good, sweetie. Bye, kids. My ring fell into the sea and it was lost to me the waters gave me a seashell as a present for you Come on and eat Maria. Do you still like chocolate milk? Yes. So... Didn't you like the nightgown I bought for you? But it's so pretty. I've picked your school. I'll take you to meet the principal. She wants you to take a test. But I've always studied! In the circus? Mom taught me. Your mother was a great student. She'd be... I want to go back to the circus. I want to go home. Let's get Quico out of bed. I'll take you to the beach. No, I want to go home. Eat your bread. What are you looking at? Nothing. Do you see anything? I'mjust looking. Maria, when you're back in the circus someday, can you take me along? I want to see you walk the tightrope. Look, Marcia. I made this for you. It's beautiful. It used to be my favorite toy. Whenever it rained hard, I set it in the water to watch it float down the gutter. I stared as it floated away. Take me to the circus. What about your mother? She can't tell me what to do anymore. Going back still scares me. Maybe it's best if I keep as a painter. You're an artist. You belong in the circus. Young man, I regret to inform you that this love will not last. How do you know, mom? Have you ever truly loved someone? Mom, dad! Please. Promise me you'll never see my daughter again. A promise is only good if you shake on it. Don't squeeze that hard. Just promise you'll never see my daughter again. I promise. I promise that every morning, the first thing I want to see is Marcia and the last thing I want to see at night... is Marcia. I promise that I'll never let anyone get between us. Let my hand go! I promise to accept all we suffer together and truly enjoy all we live together. Let go! I promise to never think that I'm better than her nor that she is better than me. Marcia, tell this man to let my hand go. I promise to use my own life to give Marcia a good life. Don't squeeze it! And if I must, I promise to give my life to save hers. Get out at once! Marcia, where do you think you're going? I won't let you date any... low-class. Date? We're getting married, mom. I'll never let our daughter marry a worthless man. Hey, I'm right here! It's me! Mom, dad! I'm here! Maria! Maria! Get back, Maria. We're too far up! Don't yell, Quico. You'll wake everyone up. Get back here, please. Did you like the private tutor? Math is a little hard. If you have any trouble here in school, Maria, you can see me. Let's meet your classmates. - Come on. - Wait... Get the ball. You get it! This is howwe walk. Can I try? No, Quico! That's not how you do it. You look beautiful, beautiful... Frontwards, backwards, and slide... and a smile for the audience, you look great, perfect! I am ready to walk up there with you? The tightrope walkers, Márcia and Marcelo! - I Love you. - Me too. Barbuda, you look lovely. Let's get going now. We go in after the acrobats. Foguinho, relax or you'll throw me off. Go away, great. You look wonderful. Maria, my love! - Can I help you? - Hi. Grandma's here to see you. Give grandma a kiss. - Grandma? - I didn't know you. Ma'am, you can't just walk into our dressing rooms. The showis underway. Please, get out. - I'm Marcia's mother. - What? My apologies. - I didn't know. - Thank you. Darling, your mother never brought you for a visit. I brought you some very tasty treats. Here. Do you like it? It's all yours. - All of it? - All yours. Your grandma will give you anything you want. It's our turn. Can you wait here? Marcia will be right over to see you. Great, thanks. Hang tight, sweetie. Mommy is on her way. The crowd is waiting, Barbuda! There's more here, darling. More? Yes, and it's all yours. Do you like it? Let's take a walk with grandma now. What about mom? Mommy is working. She'll pick you up later. Don't go! Maria! Where are you? Hold on, Quico. Come back already! Now you can blow out the candles. Should I make a wish first? Sure, my darling. Help! Get me away from here! Well done. Let's eat the cake now. Doesn't your doll get a piece? She doesn't know how to eat. You never talk to me. - Talk about what? - Anything. I put together this huge party for you, yet you don't say a word to me. Tell me what's on your mind. - When? - Now. Where is my mom? Where is my dad? What? Where are my mom and dad? - Time for your presents! - Tell me, grandma. What, darling? Where are my mom and dad? I told you already. They left you with me. Your mom and dad have no time for you. On the other hand, grandma will make sure you never go wanting. - What's this? - A gift for you. - Another one? - Won't you open it? What is it? I picked something different, to see if you like it. You hardly ever play with your toys! This old lady is yours. When you feel like hearing a story, she will tell you one. We can get people as presents? She is the greatest storyteller around. Don't you like stories? When you're tired of reading, just say "tell me", and she will. Isn't that great? Talk to my grandchild. Hello. How do they call you? The Storytelling Lady. Grandma, you can buy people? - Is it expensive? - Depends, I guess. Are there people stores? There's no such thing, my angel. So how did you- You're impossible when you get something in your head! You want me to talk, right? Talk, not ask. It's time for grandma to get some rest. Stay here and play with your new toy. Don't be shy. When you want a story, all you have to do is ask. Bye. Don't you want to get out of the box? Can you tell me a story? People story or animal story? Happy or sad? A thriller, comedy or horror? Made-up or real? A story about people. Your story. Mine? - Don't you have a story? - Sure. - Can't you tell me? - I guess so. I was born, and I had a lot of brothers. My mother used to tell us stories so we should not think about eating. Then I grew up, got married and had a bunch of children. I told them the same stories my mother used to tell me. I grew old, my husband died and one by one, my kids went away. So I kept reciting stories aloud to myself. I told them in the streets. Some of the passers-by liked them and gave me some change. One day, your grandma came up to me and asked: "Would you tell your stories to my grandchild for food and shelter? She said I could eat myself sick, if I wanted. I agreed, so they put me in that box. Before they closed me up, I asked if I'd get paid on the spot. "Once my grandchild opens her present, you can eat," she said. Well, that's my story. May I eat now? - You may. - Now we're talking. I'll start here. This is good. Can you tell me why grandma married the 4 of them? Mrs. Maria Cecilia always liked to pick her husbands. She also liked to boss them around. She was so bossy that they all left. The one she really, truly loved was the one over there, with the mustache. Maybe because he was the one who picked her. Soon enough, she got bossy. Told him to get rid of the mustache and told him to stop working, which he didn't like. When he left her, he said: "I'll come back when you quit bossing me around!" Mrs. Maria Cecilia got really sad. She decided that from that point on, she'd care only for her granddaughter. Only her, and no one else. Me? - You. Can I have some more? - Sure. Are you okay? Wake up! Say something! Wake up! Grandma! Say something. What's the matter, darling? My present died. - How come? - She ate too much. She never had enough to eat, but there was too much here. Don't worry, my doll. Don't cry. Forget about it. No, grandma. I don't want to forget. Wake up, Maria. Get up already. Get up! What's the matter? - I'm leaving. - So soon, Quico? When are your parents coming for you? I don't know. Did you ask grandma? - Bye, Maria. - Bye, Quico. Don't step on the lines, Barbuda. Goodness, Maria! I don't know if I'll make it. Look, the cotton candy man. Spin it around. This one. - We have a winner. - Two reais. - It's cheaper in the circus. - Life is expensive these days. I want a piece of this cloud. Look at the seagulls, Maria! Can we shoo them away? - Want to get your feet wet? - Yeah. I've missed you so much! - Are you doing okay? - Yeah. - What have you been up to? - When? All this time! I've been looking out the window. The window? What were you looking at? Just looking, Barbuda. I see. How are you doing in school? The principal says that I'm behind, Barbuda. Behind? How come? Didn't you showher how you can read? How you can draw, write and walk the tightrope. Didn't you tell her that your mom made you study every day? Don't worry, sweetie. You'll get the hang of it in no time. Don't worry about that. I miss you already! I hope the circus comes by Rio de Janeiro again. Next time, I promise I'll bring Foguinho. Come on, my tightrope walker. Barbuda. Can you take me up there someday? Ask your grandma. She'll take you. I want to go with you, Barbuda. Can you take me? - Mom! - Maria! My daughter. Where have you been? Maria, don't go! Don't leave me alone. - Dad! - Maria! - My baby, I missed you! - I'll tell Barbuda! Where did your grandma take you? Teach me how to walk on the tightrope. I want to be part of your act. - But you're so little! - Yeah, honey. Come on, please. Teach me! We'll think about it, okay? Always remember that. Aim at a spot ahead. Focus, and you won't fall. On the tips of your toes, then slide. Gently, just like that. Yes. Arms out and smile. Smile to the crowd that's here to see you. Good, Maria. Did you see, Marcia? Our little acrobat! Very good. Next, try it with the parasol. Grab it either here or here. Find the best grip. Elegance. Where's that smile for the crowd? - Beautiful. - Use your arms. Steady waist. She has a knack for it. She got it from you. Ladies and gentlemen! Gather round for the extraordinary debut of the world's youngest tightrope walker. Maria! Please talk to them Barbuda. Forget it, Foguinho. No time for changes now. The act hasn't been announced yet. - But we're set on it. - You can change your minds. Can't you see the place is packed, Barbuda? They're all here to see our act. Come on, Marcelo. - He can't make you do this. - Don't go, Marcia. - Is Maria in this? - Of course not, she's out. It's time, Marcelo. We'll be watching from the front row, okay? Come on. I'll never leave the circus again. I'll be with you. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Keep your hearts in check. At last, we have come to our finest attraction. The incredible tightrope walker couple: Marcia and Marcelo! See the heights they reach, ladies and gentlemen. Please, be absolutely silent. Tonight, they will perform without a safety net. I want to leave! Let me out, please! Let me out! No! Dear Barbuda, I received your letter, and loved the invitation. I wish I could go with you to stay with your brother in Bahia. Isn't he the fisherman who lives by the sea in the middle of a palmfield? But I can't go now. School is back, and grandma won't let me. But on my vacations, I want to see you, and Foguinho as well. Can you write me back? Can you tell me where the circus will be? Barbuda, I have something to tell you. I remembered everything. Everything. At least I know now. And as the days go by, I get more used to it. Kisses, Maria. Come on Maria, you don't want to spend your life on a tightrope... I like it, grandma. MARIA'S TIGHTROPE Done by (c) dcd / January 2014 Hello. - Hi, Gul. How are you? Where are you? - I am good. I am at home. But I am going out after some time. Where are you? What do you mean, where are you? I am busy arranging for your party. What rubbish! When did I say to throw a bash for me? - You didn't say. But I thought I should give you a farewell party before you leave. I don't know when we will meet again. Karan, you are trying to entice me? Sweetheart, I am not enticing you. I like you. I love you. And you know? It's not a crime to love. Karan, you know it very well that I don't have time.. ..for useless things like love. I am focused on my career, man. That's why I am leaving Jaipur and going to Mumbai. Okay. Be focused. Make your career. But reach the party by 9 o'clock. I have called all our friends. I am not too sure, Karan. I will ask my mom and inform you. Okay? No asking. I don't care. You have to come. I will wait for you. Some people are born to wait. I will come. But I will be late. Okay? "Serve me more drinks." "Let me get intoxicated." "Let me see you rock this party and get down with me." "Serve me more drinks." "Let me get intoxicated." "I am young." "Show me the magic." "Give me either whiskey or rum." "Or give me country liquor." "Mix either soda or coke." "Or serve it on the rocks." "I am sloshed, my friend." "The colours of the world got immersed in the bottle." "It's a strong intoxication for this lover boy." "I am in the mood to sing and dance." "The Patiala of love." "Serve me more drinks." "Let me get intoxicated." "Let me see you rock this party and get down with me." "Serve me more drinks." "Let me get intoxicated." "I am young." "Show me the magic." "Give me either vodka or Bacardi." "Or else Jack." "Mix in some love." "Show some moves." "I am ruined. I am beaten." "I am a cool man." "I am in the mood for drinks." "And with that the beauty of your youth." "I am in the mood for drinks." "Let's celebrate and drink." "The Patiala of love." "Serve me more drinks." "Let me get intoxicated." "Let me see you rock this party and get down with me." "Serve me more drinks." "Let me get intoxicated." "I am young." "Show me the magic." "What a trance of youth!" "Do as you please." "Let nights get crazy, beloved." "What a trance of youth!" "Do as you please." "Write a nice saga, beloved." "Serve me more drinks." "Let me get intoxicated." "Let me see you rock this party and get down with me." "Serve me more drinks." "Let me get intoxicated." "I am young." "Show me the magic." "Serve me more drinks." "Let me get intoxicated." "Let me see you rock this party and get down with me." "Serve me more drinks." "Let me get intoxicated." "I am young." "Show me the magic." What are you thinking? You know, Gul. Jaipur will be lonely without you. And you? I have become lonely. It's very late. I have to go home now. Can't you cancel it? What? Going home? Mumbai. - No way, Karan. Mumbai is my dream city. And you know Pia has found such a nice job for me. I can't lose this opportunity. And you can lose me. Karan, path is meant to take travellers to their destination. And not to stop them. Understood? I am just a path for you? You are not my destination too. Fine, Gul. You will meet me once before you leave, won't you? Of course. Go to sleep. Your daughter has returned. Ask her where she was the whole night. Her friends had thrown a bash. Farewell party. She is going to Mumbai. Party is fine. But till 2 o'clock? Her lifestyle here is such. What will she do in Mumbai? I worry when I think about it. Her friend Pia has found her a job. In a fashion house. She will be busy in Mumbai. I don't think so. Well, she is our daughter. She will make us proud. And keep your diary with you. It pricks me the whole night. Shobha. Mother, catch. - Oh, God. Gul. Stop it. Shobha. - Yes. Coming. Sit. Gul, how many clothes will you take? Yes. - Yes. Mother and daughter's meeting is over? - Yes. It's over. Gul. Last night you returned home very late. I didn't like that. I don't like it that you are going to Mumbai. And call.. - And call up as soon as you reach there. Right? Yes. Come on. Let's go and have some breakfast. - Yes, papa. You go. We are coming. - There is still time for her flight. Okay. We are coming. Come on. Come on. - Coming, papa. Coming. Enough. Enough. Enough. - Come on. Okay. - Enough. Enough. Enough. How many clothes will you take? Enough. Come, dear. Whose call was it? Nothing, papa. - You are going to start a new life. I am certain.. - Take this. Thanks, mother. Okay. Yes, of course. Here, baby. Have a banana. It's also good for you. - Thank you, papa. She is so excited to go to Mumbai that she has lost her appetite. Mom, dad, I still have a lot of packing to do. And I don't want to miss my flight. I am going. Bye. - Okay. Okay. I am coming. Sit down. Just pack a sandwich for her. Okay? - Okay. I will do it. And remember one more thing. No late nights. - Yes, dad. Okay? - No late nights. Back home by 12. - Yes. Right? - Right. - Alright. Ram Gopal, done? - Yes, sir. - Thank you. Bye, Ram Gopal. - Bye. Yes, Ravi. 3:30. Okay. I have to go, sweetie. - No. - I am so sorry. I have to go. I will see you in the evening. - Okay. Okay. Okay? - Okay. Bye. See you. Good luck, honey. - Bye, dad. Love you. Yes, Ravi. Okay. One hour. Whose call was it, dear? Wrong number? No, mom. Wrong person. Wrong person. Dear. Your dad is really worried for you. You need to change your lifestyle. Mother, I am not a kid anymore. That's why I am saying, dear. The life that you were leading in Jaipur.. ..you will have to change that when you go to Mumbai. Well. Take this. What is this? - It's a calendar. Read it. And this is a diary. Dear, I just want you to begin a new life. And record each moment of your life in this diary. Okay? Yes, mom. I will write. Anything else? And yes, tell Pia I miss her a lot. Yes, mom. Mumbai, yeah! Come on. Coming, Pia. Two minutes. And how is it going in Jaipur? Everything is fine. Jaipur is still the same old Jaipur. How are mom and dad? - Very well. Very good. Yeah? - Excuse me. Gul, whose call was it? Two hours ago he was my boyfriend. You will never change. Pia, I am Gul. Not the government. Okay. Why don't we go home and talk? No, Carol. We won't go home. It's my first day in Mumbai. It's my first night. We have to go out, get drunk and party. Cheers. - Cheers. Gul. Today's drinking is so much fun. Life is dirty without liquor. Dirty. Stop, Carol. She has got bad. Carol has got bad. Stop. Stop. Stop. Come on. Wow! - Come on. Gul, wait. - Friend.. Oh, God. Why is everyone hushing us? Come on. - It's heavy. We are too drunk. - Pia, it's a very heavy bag. Come on. - Man. Come on. - Oh, God. Come on. - Move. I have the key. Move, Pia. I will open it. Both of you hold the door. The door is moving. The door is moving. Hold the door. Look, I opened it. Gul, we are so lucky. If Gul had not been there.. Are you okay, Carol? Carol, what a house! You have not seen anything. You know? There is a pool. And there is Jacuzzi too. - Wow! Okay. You must enjoy. Okay. Your room is there. Gul. Gul. You don't want to go to office? It's your first day. Oh, no. What's the time? It's 10 o'clock. - Where is Pia? She is sleeping. I am going to my spa. Oh, no. Okay. Okay. Let's get ready fast. Pia. Pia. Pia, get up. Gul, let me sleep. - Pia, it is 11 o'clock. I had to reach office at 10 o'clock. I will be in trouble on the first day itself. Don't worry, Gul. I will talk to Vivek sir. You go. I am coming. Are you sure? Okay. I am taking your car. Okay? Okay. Bye. Excuse me. - Yes. Where is Mr. Vivek's cabin? Are you a model? - No. Mr. Vivek's cabin is ahead. Go straight and turn right. Okay. - Thank you. Hello. I ordered coffee a long time ago. Will you bring it today? Yes. Come quickly. May I come in, sir? - Yeah. Come in. Hello, sir. This is Gul. Yeah. Pia told me about you. Tell me something. Will you come to office at this hour every day? Actually, sir.. - No. No. You don't have to call me sir. I am used to working in a friendly ambiance. So I guess Vivek is fine. - Okay. Come. You got time? It takes you an hour to bring a cup of coffee. Yes, sir. He is the spoilt brat of our office. Delete Singh. - Hello, ma'am. Delete Singh? - Yes. Tell her how come your name is Delete Singh? Ma'am, it's a tragic story. Soon after birth, my father got deleted. On my sixth day naming ceremony.. ..my grandma got deleted, ma'am. - Oh, my God. Wherever I go.. In short, wherever he goes, somebody gets deleted. But he proved to be lucky for our company. Fortunately for us. Okay. - Yes. Now, leave from here. Come on. - Okay, sir. Who will take this? - Sorry, sir. Sorry, sir. Bye, ma'am. Bye. - Go. Go. Yeah. I hope you understand you are very lucky.. ..you got a chance to work in my company. - Yes, sir. Adi, come in. Sit. That's Gul. Adi. Hi. - Hello. Creative director of the company. And this man is also the backbone of the company. - Yeah. Red Chillies' design is ready? I am working on it. It will be ready by tomorrow. I am putting her under your charge from today. From today she will assist you. Okay? - Great. Fine then, welcome. Congrats. My pleasure, sir. - You're on. Come So, if there is anything you need, just let me know. Sure. Sure. Hi. - Hi. So, how are you, Adi? - I am good. Thanks. You? I am good too. So how is your first day in the office, Gul? Going great so far. - Yeah? That's really nice. So how did you find Gul? She seems nice enough. We will see how she does in the office. I am sure she is going to do well. She is my friend, after all. - Yeah. Anyway, you guys carry on. I will see you later. Yeah? You witch.. 'I am writing this diary only because..' '..my mom wants me to maintain a diary.' 'My first day in office today.' Gul. Hi, mom. How are you? I am fine. You tell me. I told you to call me up after you reach office. I am so sorry, mom. I was very busy with office work. You always make excuses. Your papa misses you a lot. Okay. Tell me. How is your office? Very good, mom. Even my boss is very friendly. Gul. Okay, mom. I got to go. Pia is calling me. I am very late for office. Listen. Listen. Listen. Gul, did you start writing in the diary? Yes, mom. I have filled six pages. Very good. Keep writing. You have thrust your nuisance on me. But I am enjoying it. It's going okay. - Gul. Okay, mom. I have to go. - Are you ready? Okay? Bye. Bye. - Okay, dear. Take care of yourself. Bye. - Bye. I am ready. I just have to change and come. - Alright. Okay. - Hey, girls. - Hey. Hey. - I have movie tickets. Let' go. I can't come. This evening I have to go for Umbrella.. ..Creations' press conference with Vivek sir and Adi. Pia, you will come, won't you? No, sweetheart. Even I have to meet my old friends. But you can do one thing. - What? Go with Aakash. - Who is Aakash? You don't know Aakash (Sky)? I know. It's above. - Correct. He is always above her. She is Aakash's ground. Thank you. - Yes, sir. Hi. - Come. Baby, where were you? You said you will come in ten minutes. See this. Whole 25 minutes have passed. You are always late. I have finished dinner. And see this. Bill has also arrived. I am so sorry, darling. You had dinner? - Yes. Let's go. - Hang on. I have to pay the bill. - Let it be. Let it be. Seriously? - Let it be. Sure? Hello. Hello. Hi. I am Xavier. I hope you all know me. You know me. You must also know that for the past 20 years.. ..our company is the leading fashion company all over the world. And for the first time in 20 years our company.. ..has decided to work with Indian designers and stylists. And whichever company's designs are selected.. ..our company will sign a contract with them.. ..for not one, not two, not three, but for 10 years. But you have only ten days for this job. So all the best. But start the work tomorrow morning. Right now, go ahead enjoy the party. Alright? - Definitely. Careful, Mr. Bajaj. Hi, Vivek. - Yeah. Hi. And hello to the pretty lady. Ravi Bajaj. Gul. - Gul? Really nice name. Thank you. - Ozone Overseas. It's a small company. Maybe you have heard the name. Your style of calling a big company small.. ..and thus calling yourself big is great. You are late, Mr. Bajaj. Umbrella Creations' conference is over. It doesn't make any difference. He is a victim of overconfidence. He thinks he is going to get Umbrella Creations' order. Continue dreaming, Mr. Bajaj. This time we will get the order. Okay. Anyway, see you. - Sure. All the best. See you. - Bye. Let's go. - Yeah. 'Because she loves sex as much as I do. Okay? ' 'Sex is just an activity to you, isn't it? ' Let's utilize our Sunday. Let's rearrange the furniture. Actually. Come on, Gul. Let's do it. Come on, Carol. You have everything. You are so successful. Hire a maid to do all these chores. I can afford ten maids. But one achieves success with.. ..patience, honesty and hard work. That's why I do these small household chores. It's not my job. Even in Jaipur my servants do all this. I have come to Mumbai to be very famous. And in this small life I have many great things to do. I have to go far ahead. Pia, I don't understand Gul's lifestyle. You will understand, Carol. When I will have a bigger house than you, a car.. ..and 25 servants, you will understand everything. Come on, Carol. Let's go. Come on. Let her watch TV. 'And all this on Sunday.' 'Yeah! - Yeah! ' "Forgive.." Yeah. Come in. Sir.. - Sit. Sit. Sit. RB is very confident this time. It's RB's habit to tell tall tales. You should never underestimate your competitor. Right? I want only Flora Enterprises to get Umbrella Creations' order. For that we will have to make such designs that Umbrella Creations.. ..signs the next 10 years' agreement only with our company. Don't worry, sir. We will try our best. Not try. Results. Definitely. You are working so hard. It's very late. Go to sleep. Coming. I will just finish this and come. Okay? Hey. - Hey. I will see you. - Yeah. The designs. What is this? Along with your time why are you wasting our time as well? But have a look.. If our company starts working on the sketches made by you.. ..we will even stop getting the few contracts that we have got. Unbelievable! Hey. - Hey. What happened? There is some problem. Where are you going? To have a smoke. Pia. - Yes, sir. Where is Gul? - She must be around in the office. Where is Adi? He has gone for a smoke. - Gone for a smoke. Alright. Thanks. Adi. - Hi. What do you think? By when will Umbrella Creations' designs be ready? It will take another three-four days, sir. The workload is very heavy. Gul is there to help you. She must have also prepared some designs. I have thrown her sketches in the dustbin. She is new. She will learn gradually. We should close Flora Enterprises and start a fashion institute. Along with Gul everybody else will also learn. Hold it. Hold it there. Just stop kidding. If she is not talented, sack her. Throw her out. You know we are short of time. It is better you do this job. Let's see. 'If she is not talented, sack her.' 'Throw her out.' 'I have thrown her sketches in the dustbin.' What happened? You have still not got ready. What is this? Who wrote this? Mom. - Your mom is great. Gul, since the time you have returned from office.. ..you seem very upset. Today was my last day in office. What happened? - What? It's a long story. Come on. Let's just go out for dinner. Are you sure, Gul? - Yeah. I am sure. Come on. Let's just go. - Both of you go. I am tired. I want to sleep. You are sure? - Okay. Let's just go. Alright. Yes. I will show you. First let me.. Yes. Yes. See this. - Show. I was.. Hello. Hi. May I join you? Great. What are you drinking? - How are you doing? That's the wine. - Fantastic. Great! - Yeah. I know I love drinking wine. So we thought.. - Really? ..we will buy ourselves a wine. Actually, yes.. And that's my favourite wine. So how are you feeling in Mumbai? - Yeah. I think it's good. I mean, yeah, you know, as long as I have good friends. Of course. Should we go somewhere else? Yeah. So goodnight. - So you guys are leaving. Yeah. I will see you later. Okay? See you. So Gul, tell me. What else do you do to wind out? I mean, I really like the person.. Wow! Beautiful. Excellent. Fantastic. That's really nice. Adi. Wonderful! Wonderful! Did you make this? - No. Gul has made it. You were saying she doesn't know anything. She knows many things. Okay. - Actually, I was wrong about her talent. Rectify your mistake. She should be promoted. Where is she? Where is Gul? She was toiling the whole night, sir. She is sleeping. Hey, Pia. - Hey. Hey, Gul. Where were you the whole night? Don't ask. I saved my job. That's good. But how? Well, last night I showed my work. I will be promoted soon. Congratulations. So today's dinner is your treat. Okay? Done. Tell Carol as well. Cool. How did you come here? Wow, Carol! It's amazing! I also feel like doing something. Shall I go for a shoulder massage? Very funny. Go out. We will meet for dinner. Okay. Okay. Okay. We will meet for dinner. But what about lunch? I am very busy right now. I can't. Please go. Okay. Okay. Okay. Give me some money then. What? - Yes. I have to pay the taxi fare, the newspaper bill. If I have lunch. I will have to give a tip to the waiter. Enough. Enough. Enough. - After that in the evening we have.. Give me money. I will take all. How much is it? I don't know. I gave you what I had. Please go. Okay, baby. Sweetheart, see you at dinner. Carol should have come. - Yeah. I don't know what she does with Aakash. Hey. Hi. Come on over. Why don't you sit? I will just join you in a minute. Yeah. Sure. Hi. - Hi. How are you? Good. How are you? - Have a seat. Thank you. Would you like a drink? - No. I am good. I know your speciality, Gul. You are handling Umbrella Creations' account, aren't you? Yes, Mr. Bajaj. There is one thing common between us. A hunger for success. I can sense that about you. I see the same hunger in you. You want to be very, very successful. Nothing wrong with that. The only difference is you work too hard. I have a philosophy. Party hard. And work smart. For instance this waiter. How many hours does he work? 10? 12? 14? I mean, I don't know. How much money does he earn? Look at me. I work for three to four hours. And both of us know how much money I earn. That's why I have an offer for you. Join my company. Get my company Umbrella Creations' contract. Salary, whatever you want. A dream house. A dream car. The works basically. What do you say to that, Gul? Thank you. Really. For the offer. I will think about it. So I will see you later then. - Okay. Take care. - Alright. It was him. Ozone's Mr. Bajaj. Really? Was it? - Yeah. You didn't know? No. Not at all. Vivek. - Hi. How are you? Good. How are you? - Hi, Vivek sir. Hi, my mother. - What? Got hurt? I will call you mother whenever you call me sir. Okay. Well, Gul, let's leave. - Pia, two minutes. So how come you are here? I just came here for dinner. Anyway, I saw your designs. Lovely. They are awesome. - Thank you. Thank you. You hid the secret for so long. Well, Vivek, I tried to show you my designs before. But.. I couldn't show it. What do you mean, couldn't show it? I don't understand. Shall we meet tomorrow and talk? Few things I need to tell you. Yeah. Fine. Okay. Okay. I will see you then. - See you. Ma'am, hold on. I will give it. Take this. Sir, here is your lemonade and honey. And towel. You didn't bring today's newspaper? Sir, I am searching for today's newspaper since yesterday. Shall I bring yesterday's newspaper? Yes. If possible, bring a few years' old newspaper. Bring 30-40 years' old. If you can bring it. Sir, I am reading you for the past 40 years. But sir, sorry. You don't look like you are 40, sir. Go. - You look a few months younger, sir. Now, you disappear and bring the newspaper. Come on. Sir, not the newspaper but the news is here. Yes. Mind your own business. Leave. I will say good morning to ma'am. - Leave. Good morning, ma'am. - Delete, you are here too? I follow sir wherever he goes. Have a seat. Sir is coming. - Okay. Okay, ma'am. Hi. - Hi. How did you come here suddenly? I told you yesterday I will meet you today. Yes. Right. Have a seat. - Okay. You came at the right time. Otherwise I was going to leave soon. Well, my mother says time favours those who value it. Does she? - Yes. Your mother is very intelligent. If I get a chance, I would like to meet her. For sure. Tell me. What will you have? I am good, sir. I had breakfast just now. If you will call me sir here, you know what I am going to say. I know. I know. Mother. Anyway. I saw your designs. You seem very talented. But why did you take so much time to express your talent? I didn't take time, Vivek. Those whom you trust a lot, they took time. My designs were ready since a long time. What do you mean? Who? I don't want to take anybody's name. Fine. Don't take names. I understand a bit. But Gul, if I trust someone, I trust him completely. What if somebody breaks your trust? It hasn't happened so far. If it happens, I wouldn't want to see his face again. Can you do that? - Yeah, of course. If I trust my employees, it's their duty to uphold my trust. And not break it. It's your duty to live up to my trust. I understand. It's simple. If I take care of people, they should also take care of me. Of course. So I guess. A hand searches for another hand. I hope you understand what I am saying. I will see you in the office. - Yeah. Sure. Bye. Sir, newspaper is here. Keep it in the car. You are the only one that can handle this. Okay. The officer was shot several times. The wounded officer's condition would be serious. Hello? We have no money for the restaurant. We can not meet you. I'm sorry. I'll call you back. Despite the heavy night and morning in Gothenburg - - The police management There are no comments. But Police Chief Lena Tornell - - Holds a press conference about the events. Vijay approves 200,000. - Have you heard anything? - No, but anyone knows where he is. - Sorry, it looks like a pigsty. - Do you spend wisely. So it is now. What an ugly bag. - There are more than 200,000. - There are actually 500,000. Jaså. We clean up after yourself. - I've messed up! - It is you who have fucked you! I salute the way from Vijay. He got 10 years! Shit. Moment No, let it sit. - Your fucking snitch. - Yes, I'm a fucking snitch. Come on. Hold this. Wait here. - They have several informants. - Bye, Dad. You can even see in the new documents. I send them over a secure line. Well, and if I need to check other cases ... Can I call you back? What are you doing here? Do you know why we tolerate your kind? Because I just fit your work. But you have gone too far. Now there shall be no rules anymore. I have not done anything. Oh, damn it! You can not prove anything with a stolen mobile phone. I give a shit about evidence. What the hell are you doing? - What the hell have you done? - I have not been here. You're crazy. CODE NAME "LAILA" - You have to press hard. - Fuck, man. Satan. Share Russians. - Tell the Russians. - Why the hell would I do that? Because it determines whether I'll drop you off at a hospital or in a ditch. There is a lot of money in this case. A lot of money. I do not take them. I'll let you keep them. Although I desperately need them. Think of what it will mean to you. I have never done anything that has been directed at you. Everything I've done has been against your competitors. You will aliigevel ... you will ... never could find them. Why not? Because they drive around in a car. - What kind of car? - With sleeping bags and canned goods. A black van. A Chevrolet. An older model. I do not fucking. - How many are they? - I do not know. Four or five pieces. - That's me. Where are you? - On the outskirts of the city. - So you're alive. - For several hours at least. Russians run in a variety Chevrolet van, an older model. They have no fixed location, so we must try to take them. - Collect them you trust the most. - It will not be many. - No. Meet me at the concert hall. - Okay, I'll brief the others. I can only say that we methodically work through the material. We go from door to door in the area. An extensive technical work. The traditional policing will determine what happened. We will do everything to get to the bottom of this. Are you sure it's a coincidence? There have been several shootings and a murder in the city. We exclude nothing. I must go back. Further questions answered by my press spokesman. I did not ask, if you exclude anything ... This is way off track. We will search for clues. If it is now organized, and there are shootings throughout the city - - Have you a plan for protecting offentiigheden? We do not give us with speculations but investigating this matter thoroughly. You are Erik Berg, right? Hello. I know you. - I work in the law. - Oh well. in section two? During alderman Wallenberg. I have read your articles about police informants. - Do you have time to talk a little? - Yes. Thank you for standing for. Especially Lasse, who is old GSi `is. We do not have approval from the management, not even unofficially. They find out, we have spoken with Wagner or Johan - - We get the Police Complaints Board on the neck. Is this the work Elier what? - No, I'm sick. - I'm on my time off. But if something happens, as we enter immediately into service. Frank'll never survive this. We do like this. SHOOTING TIPPING STlLLE OF THE COURT Unlikely many reports on a moped robbery I must say. - We should just ... - It's okay. Continue In just. Do what you do best. If no make a fuss, so please direct them to me. What the hell was that about? - Who is it? - It's Niklas. He's good. What I said earlier, it was ... Are you sure about this? If the bag is so give it to Marie. Okay. - Do you want him to die? - Who are you? Lisa's boyfriend. It is our son. Why do you help him? - We must first know what has happened. - At the expense of his life? We only need new identities. Give us a chance. Murderers must serve their sentences. Armed men entered the apartment. Frank defended us. If he is innocent, He has nothing to be afraid of. Treats In all, working for the police, how? Have you wondered why we live under a death threat? Answer me! Is it our fault? He works for you! It is your responsibility! Move! Guess who I just saw. Half a million on two legs. A friend at Kungsgatan have seen Wagner. He is heading for North Stan. See now picking up speed. - Wagner are Kungsportsplatsen. - We must not let him get away from us. Others are looking for the reward. Two shots to the head should be enough. He can not get away from us. There is the informer! I can see him. Yes. Two shots to the head should be enough. - Here they come. - We necks him inside the toilet. You bastard, Wagner. Now necks we need you! Stand still, Frank Wagner! Moving on! Moving on! Come on! Hey! Back! Back! Let him kill the pig! Could not have waited a little longer? - Have you seen the Russians? - I saw them on the other side. - Shit! - Beware! Femmanhuset! Give me the gun! Lasse van. Turn on the laser. Downwardly. There. Nak is a bitch. Matched. Hands over your head! Frank, I'm out on seven to eight years. So I'll fry you and your family. Connector of Frank. Connector of. Connector of! Connector of. 81-54, how long does it take you to get there? I can be there in four minutes. Do you want to drive me home? I think my car is stolen. Father! Is it really you? Shall we go and bathe now? After all these years ... and alle the pigs I've had around me Should I lie here alone with a cop. How it ends for most thugs. Their only fixed point is the cop who followed them. What do you want? I do not know. APPLICATION AGAINST POLICE Västra Götaland for five years, I have worked the police in Västr a Götaland, - - See Annex 1 on signed and tasks performed by the code name Lisa. Now I am uncovered and live on the run with a pr ice on my head. Hvisjeg was revealed, I thought, police management would help me. Have you wondered why we live under a death threat? Answer me! Is it our fault? He ar works for you! It is your responsibility! I thought I would get help but that did not happen. I have a closer look at the nemmelsen, that police management would see me dead. Despite the police's own lawyer has exposed me to a lawyer. - You must come with us to the station. - What is it, Dad? AGENT CONVENTIONS POLICE Sitting in and doing nothing it when there is still are bandits out there? Getting Started. As we live with our old names and social security numbers, - - We aging r ig come to to live an ordinary life. My son can not go to kindergarten should or school. We are lawless. The future disclosed civilians recruited as police agents, not about. The only thing that is important for us is to be a normal family. It's not about money. It's about the police and the politicians take responsibility. They just give us family, an honest chance. It feels like living in a vacuum. One can either proceed or back. It feels as if time stands still. Police have given me the impression - - That if I was exposed, or when I had to pull me back - - Then they would take care of me and help in every way. Which has not happened. I think we have moved 17 or 19 times. It is the seventh time I change my identity. It's hard not to interfere them together and stupid. That, for example, will to write a different name. And the big problem is, that my son can not go to school - - Or be patient with a doctor and so on. So one has to be suspicious in respect of all the whole time. And it's hard. The question is: how long you can endure it. One day I come to that stupid me and reveal myself - - And then there is someone that takes me - - And then I hopefully shot. The alternative seems more painful than being shot. In principle I try to live as a witness-protection program. You have to change all your habits. You can not have any habits. On an ordinary day you stand up and eat breakfast. Playing perhaps his son. So you need to know the playground you have to go on. It's a little hard to explain to a child - - Why one should go by train one day and by bus the next - - Or by subway or car. Man has always checked the car, before starting it. A child found it's fun at first - - But when you do it every day, they begin to consider why. Had I known it would end like this here, I would have never made it. To be honest, I was I probably quite naive and young and stupid - - For the price I pay is incredibly high. Translation: Louise Munk Standard Scandinavian Text Service 2013 But of Peter's story, so ... What ... like ... We talked about it earlier. There is approximately 75-80%, which is true, has happened, and 30% ... I said to Joel, that I had full confidence in him. That what he does is good. - It's only me who has to be you. - Yes, actually. Previously on Alcatraz... Meet the '63s.The worst criminals this country has ever known are coming back. My grandfather wasn't a guard.He was an inmate. That's him.Tommy Madsen,he killed my partner. Police. - So we have to find these '63s? - We need to find who took them. I need you to watch them. You know,they're not so bad. Lucy,get down! Welcome to Alcatraz... Dr.Sengupta. Thank you,Warden James. ********* I don't know,Hauser.Maybe the pirate life ain't for you. All right,tie it off! Now look alive. Mr.Petty... You arrive to us with much fanfare. I can assure you most lags don't get the benefit of a welcoming party. But then you are a special case,aren't you? A smile. On a child's face,it reminds us of all that's good and pure in this world. But on yours,it's all the company of hades. If you've left any more of your mines on the mainland,son, it will be our singular aim to find out just where they are before anyone else is blown to kingdom come. Take him. Felicitations to the good men and women of the San Francisco police department. Does the lady need a ride back to the mainland? No,the lady does not.But nice thought.Thank you. Peppermint. For your nausea. Officer... Hauser.Emerson Hauser. She has good taste in music,Mr.Hauser. Any improvement? I'm sorry. And if she stays here? Did she ever talk to you about a DNR? Are you saying she's dying? ***** Guy,ready? Hey,buddy.How you doing? Where'd you come from? Get back! Move,move,get out of the way! - What's going on? - They're under the ground! - Look out! - They're under the ground! All units,all units,be advised. Air support en route to pine street park. Multiple explosions reported with severe casualties. Bomb squad on scene. Oh,this does not look good. - You were actually near where... - um,yeah,no,it was just right there. - Was it over here? - The south side. Okay. What kind of explosive makes a crater like this? Something small.An l.E.D.maybe. Looks like he used the grass to hide them. Land mines. - Holy crap... - It's Paxton Petty. He did this before in the early '60s. In the past,there were multiple occasions.He's not finished yet. - So you know this case? - Three bombs went off. He claimed there was a fourth,but it was never found. All right.So where do we start? I'm gonna work on the locations.You're gonna work on finding Petty. Petty was a combat engineer in the Korean war. Something bad happened in Wonju... schoolchildren killed by U.S.land mines. Petty was the prime suspect. Is that what sent him into Alcatraz? No.Court-martialed. They reassigned him to the Presidio graveyard detail while they did the investigation. Eventually he was tried and convicted. ******** After five years in military prison, he came back to the city and started doing this. All right! Everybody down! Oh,my God. On March 21,1963,Alcatraz officially closed. All the prisoners were transferred off the island... Only that's not what happened. Not at all. Alcatraz Season 1 Episode 6 You're checking her for TBI,right? Concussions? Honestly,I barely bumped my head.Thanks. A guy is walking around with a backpack full of mines. SFPD back in '60 thought he stole 'em from the Presidio while he was there. The Presidio isn't a base anymore,so where is he getting them now? Maybe same guy who bought Cobb his rifle,Hastings and Sylvain their guns. Someone's helping these guys. I mean,maybe unfreezing 'em. It's like when captain America was trapped in the Antarctic ice... - Doc. - Right. But there's always a facilitator. I mean,Lex Luthor.Case in point. Hey,psycho. Hey,psycho.What's up? BOMB SQUAD You switch to decaf yet? Not a chance.I got nine lives.Haven't burned through half of 'em yet. Oh,right.Well,uh... This is some ugly-looking shrapnel. Ugly and old. Like FDR old or bush 41 old? I'm thinking somewhere in between.But this puppy's been modified. - Who are you? - Soto.Civilian authority. Pulled that from a tree branch. So he's putting something in them. Yeah,most of these whack jobs add ball bearings,nails,whatever's handy, put 'em in the mines to maximize carnage. This doesn't look like some random piece of metal.You mind if I,uh... - knock yourself out. - Thanks. You want one of me too? Recording bombing victim number six. severe lower body trauma.Powder burns extending to mid-torso. - Becca. - Hey. - Hey,how's it going? - l hear you went to the dark side. Federal task force.Yeah.I'm working the pine street bombings. - l'm her partner,Dr.Diego Soto. - Hey. Sandman. Golden age. *** - Nice. - Thanks. So what are you pulling out of him? Oh,why do I have the feeling you already know the answer to that? - That one,please. - Okay. Is that a Laurel wreath design? It looks like some sort of badge or military medal. - Hey,did you see psycho there? - Oh,yeah. I have a comic book shop over on Columbus.I have every issue of sandman. Mint condition.You know,if you're ever interested. I thought you said that you were her partner. Oh,I am.It's just,well,I also kind of have,like,a day job. - Thanks,Nikki. - Yeah. Or secret identity. - Doc! - Right. Yeah. "Snow... Beard... Grace. " Where are the bombs,Petty? Again. Why don't you just hit him with a sledgehammer? If you're offended,Doctor,by all means,wait outside. Dueling sawbones.Toe to toe. Old school versus the avant-garde. - If you'd like me to stop,Warden... - don't be sensitive,Milton. Tell us where they are and you'Il have a wool blanket with tea piping hot in a ceramic bowl waiting for your purple pruned hands. We'Il find out one way or another. He'Il break. Never had a man in this tub that didn't. He's already broken,Dr.Beauregard. What we need to do is put him back together again. A prescription straight from the pad of mother goose herself. When you're ready to come into the 20th century,please let me know. Dr.Sengupta. Time for the talking cure.Step aside,Milton. Yes,ma'am,it's a military medal,all right. These etching lines? They symbolize rays that the Laurel wreath encircles, in the center of which would sit a silver star. Was Petty awarded any medals in Korea? No.He thought he deserved one,though. Fired off a lot of angry letters to uncle Sam while he was,you know,in jail. Got denied every time. So maybe this is payback.Instead of ball bearings or nails. Where would you get a silver star if you didn't earn it? A real one? Well,you wouldn't. What about,like,Craigslist? Not from a military family I take it,sir. Silver star is the third-highest combat military decoration. If it's not left to the family,most are buried with the soldiers. The Presidio. - Graveyard detail. - Thank you,sir. Hey.What the hell are you doing here? My suspect worked the graveyard detail here at the Presidio from 1952 to '54 during his court-martial. You think some old guy's digging up bodies to get their medals? He'd know where they were buried,right? - Silver stars,Korean war? - Yeah,yeah. Look,forgotten warriors on the east grounds near the family plot. I got to go back inside.I never wear the right clothes. Thanks for meeting us. Doesn't look like anything's been touched. Maybe he got the medal from somewhere else. Didn't you say that the cops suspected Petty stole his mines from Presidio back in '60? Yeah,and they never found his stash. Searched all the tunnels and cellars. No luck. Or maybe he hid them where he knew no one would look. W-w-warm in here.It's nice. What's next? Crumpets? How's that? Feel like a new man. Now that's how you treat someone you want something from,Warden. Glad you approve,son. But I've heard about the mind games in here. ********** What have you heard? I'm not taking these pills. They're not pills,Mr.Petty.Those are mints. I drugged your tea. Just a mild sedative to help you relax.An anesthetic. You were only 18 when you joined the marines.Is that right? I'm not talking to you. You served for the fighting 15th, were part of the Chosin Reservoir battle,the bloodiest of the war. 14 silver stars were awarded to the veterans of the Chosin Reservoir battle. But not you. Despite clearing several frozen minefields by yourself,under heavy fire, providing safe passage for our troops to advance. Hypocrites,the lot of 'em. It's for your safety. - Were you scared,Mr.Petty? - No,ma'am. Any reasonable person would be scared. Not me.Nope. And they punished you for it. Made you feel like a traitor for doing your job. I just did what I was trained to do. I know,Mr.Petty. The cold and the fear... And the wave after wave of enemy soldiers coming across those frozen fields. You never knew who the enemy might be. Even women and children. Children? Tossing land mines everywhere? Little soldiers. And so you did what you had to do. You went to the village of Wonju, put the mines where they got their water,where they played in the fields. Trying 55 volts at 2/10 of a second. That's right,Mr.Petty. It's okay. It's all going to be okay. You were in the 45th division in Korea,Mr.Madsen? If you know,why are you asking? You got your degree in medical doctoring,right? I did my residency in internal medicine. Then you explain to me why a perfectly healthy man spends most of his time in infirmary and not on work detail. I assumed you were ill. Well,you'd think I was after all the blood they're taking. I know all about the new lag,the one who likes to blow things up. Is that his voice on the tape? If you want to know what the song is, then you find out why I am in here all the time. Deal. The song? It's a Korean lullaby. The thing about land mines is... You got to remember where you put 'em. Otherwise,you blow up your own men. The lullaby was the enemy's way of communicating that information. One word in each line indicated a different location. We did the same thing. Crosby and Sinatra. "Snow... Beard... Grace. Snow... "Beard... Grace. Where are you putting them now? "Little brook... In the woods. ***** There's more. A second verse. "Among the pines you flow. Pine street.It matches. Broke the lock and put a new one on. Yeah,and the kicker is,it looks like he broke it from the inside. He broke out,not in? This is where he came back. Well,let's find out. Looks like somebody was painting. There's paint over here too. Doc,give me a hand with this. Okay. You're right. This is where he hid his stash in 1954.It's been waiting for him. What are these guys thinking when they come back? Were they all asleep? Paint's still wet.We just missed him. Mines are the exact same size. Why is he painting them? Sandstone paint,rubber tiles... oh,my God. Playground turf.They use it all over the city. So the next target... Could be any elementary school or park in San Francisco. Whoever killed the security guard has got to be the same nut job planting land mines. City gets a ransom note.Some crazy Korean poem in it. Guys says give him $651,000 and change,and he'Il tell us where the rest of the mines are. - Pretty specific number. - Yeah. Wait.How is it that you caught up with this guy,but everybody else seems to be clueless? I got a secret weapon. Who are you again? - Surprise me. - We found where Paxton Petty's been hiding his bombs. - And Petty? - He left a dead security man in his wake. And we found playground turf and spray-paint. Now we don't know what the spray-paint means,but the turf... - what color was the paint? - The turf means he's gonna hit up a school or a park. We don't have enough information to narrow down the search 'cause there's too many of 'em. What color was the paint? It was tan.Sandstone. - That's two different colors. - Look... Listen,cross-reference Your locations with the word "Windward. - Excuse me? - "Windward. Why do you have to be so cryptic? What are you working on? Stop! Listen."Windward. Pull up the list of parks,would you? And check for "Windward. Sunset. Sunset... Sandstone. *** There's only one Windward park or school. Oh,man,Windward elementary.That's close to my shop.I know those kids. Hey,Tanner. You bored of me yet? We've got a park to check out. The park's clear! Swept both playgrounds and the field.Park's clear. Looks like your intel was off. Any place that has this turf needs to be closed and searched. Yes,mom.We're all over it. - Watch your step out there. - Yeah,you too,Tanner. Hauser was so sure of himself.He was even more of a jerk than usual. You gonna rub it in? ***** Tell me that you're still at the park. Oh,yeah,I am,but Petty's not. Stay there.He could still show up. Where the hell are you? Till you hear back from me,do not move. Petty. - You know me? - A friend of mine did. Give me your hands. You probably won't want to move now. Now give me your gun and your phone. I've never been on a stakeout before. This isn't a stakeout.It's a waste of time. Hauser say why he thought Petty was coming here? Well,transparency isn't one of Hauser's strong suits. I just pictured him in a transparent suit. It's pretty gross. Drop the knife.Get on the ground,face down. You with the guy in the suit? You are. Aren't you just a peach? There you go. Where is he? How about we just cut the cop to psychopath chitchat and you tell me what you want? I want my bombs back. The one in the bags or the one in the cemetery? Your friend is dead. What do you want? I want to know what happened to me. A week ago I went to sleep a stone's throw from where we're standing now. The next thing I know,it's what,2012? And I wake up lying on the floor of a tomb. Tell me how that's possible,and I'Il tell you anything you want to know. Hey,don't walk away from me. All right.Stay here and talk to him. - About what? - About what happened. - l don't know what happened. - You have,like,50 theories.Just pick one. ************* "Emerson Hauser." This was his case. I think it's a quantum thing. Imagine a water bug on the surface of a pond. And he sees this twig sticking out of the water. When it rains,the water level rises. He thinks the twig is moving,when,in reality, the one dimension he's capable of perceiving is moving. Not the twig. - You don't know what happened,do you? - No. - Does anybody? - Probably. Okay.Pine street. Windward elementary. "Sunset." Where the hell is "Sunset"? Sandstone paint. Sand. $651,000.That's what, 55 years of back pay the government never gave you? They owe me.They stole my star.They took my pension. Who are you? I wrote a book about Alcatraz,and pretty much everything in it is wrong. You write about me? - No. - Why not? I was there.I was important.The Warden said so himself. Gave me the royal treatment,him and his lady head-shrinker. There were no female doctors on Alcatraz. Let's go.Both of you. - Where? - Sunset beach. The location of the land mines are hidden in the lyrics of the song. He painted the mines to blend in with the sand. That's where we'Il find Hauser. Or what's left of him. They tell me you've broken the code,Dr.Sengupta. Yes. The words in each verse of Paxton Petty's lullaby correspond to the locations of his bombs. "Snow" for the union square snow festival,"Beard" for beard beach, - and "Grace..." - Was grace cathedral.Genius. There's a fourth verse. Which means there's a fourth bomb. "Twin tree." What's that? I don't know,but I'm sure the good men of the San Francisco police department will. I've already made a call on your behalf. Excellent.Lives will be saved. Alcatraz proving itself to be once again the crown jewel of American penal sciences. Milton,don't skulk out there like a common ferret. It wouldn't kill you to give a compliment to a colleague. Genius. Doctor.I've been meaning to have a word with you about one of your patients. Tommy Madsen's medical records... There's no history of illness recorded. Illnesses come in many shapes and sizes. You of all people should know that. Yes,but why would you have a perfectly healthy man spend so much time in the infirmary? And what do you want with his blood? A word of advice,my dear: Don't overstep. Rebecca,there he is. Walk me to him. - Doc,stay here.Call Tanner. - You got it. Don't come any closer. Hauser,just hang on.We're gonna get you off that thing. No,you're not. Let me help you.You need anything? - Water? - A cigarette. You don't smoke. I should never have quit. - You don't need to be here. - Oh,I know.Just can't see from up there. So what I told you on the phone,that help you catch him? Windward elementary. - So I was right. - Yes. And just this once I will apologize for doubting you. Not just 'cause you're standing on a bomb. About another minute down here. Found the lyrics to that song. Last 1960s bomb,"Twin Tree" clue,you ever find the place? No. Have you been looking for it this whole time? I made a promise to a friend. Gotta go grab something from my pack. I'Il be right back. Madsen. When he tells you the bad news,just give it to me straight. He modified it.I'm gonna have to improvise. Modified it how? Not in a good way. Said he's a vet,right? Afghanistan? - Maybe we crossed paths. - l don't think so. I wonder what he saw out there that made him like this. You get to the good part? You made it a loop. What do you mean? Can we unloop it? The detonator and booster can't be separated from the main charge without triggering the fuse. Designed it special for hotshots like you... And me. Anything that's put together can be taken apart. And we ain't got nothing in common. We'Il see. - Can you do this? - Yeah. He's a punk.I got this. All right.Here's the plan. On three,you're stepping off that mine. Got to do it cleanly.Then get behind that blast wall. - l can do that. - No,he's gonna need help. He's been standing here for hours.His legs are dead. I don't need you. As soon as he's off the plunger,I can find the back door to this thing and defuse the mine. Let's go. All right,on three,you're hauling ass. One,two... Three! Okay,this way! Move,move,move! Okay,behind the barricade. Get down,get down. All right. Okay,steady,steady,steady,steady. All right,come to daddy. All right,there you go.All right. Got it. Tanner! All right,get in there now! We're coming,we're coming! Tanner.Tanner,come on,buddy. Couple of things: You just killed a good man... And my legs hurt. We translated your song.We dug up every mine you planted. Not every one. "Twin Tree"? That one went off 20 years ago. - How many people went with it? - Not a soul hurt. - You're lying. - Okay. I planted that mine on mount Sutro,right on the trail everyone took to the top. No.That land was already sold to the state when you planted your mine. No one's taken that trail in 50 years. Hauser. But thanks for telling me where to dig. So have you found the twin tree? It's you. - You're here. - And so are you. Officer Hauser,the twin tree... any leads? Not yet.But I'm working on it. - Day and night. - Well,I'm here to help. In those shoes? Well,I thought we could start with you asking me to dinner. I found the twin tree. And Petty's last bomb. So much death from something so small. You know her methods? Fix her. Alcatraz Season 1 Episode 6 Previously on Alcatraz... Meet the '63s. The worst criminals this country has ever known are coming back. My grandfather wasn't a guard. He was an inmate. That's him. Tommy Madsen, he killed my partner. Police. So we have to find these '63s? We need to find who took them. I need you to watch them. You know, they're not so bad. Lucy, get down! Welcome to Alcatraz... Dr. Sengupta. Thank you, Warden James. I don't know, Hauser. Maybe the pirate life ain't for you. All right, tie it off! Now look alive. Mr. Petty... You arrive to us with much fanfare. I can assure you most lags don't get the benefit of a welcoming party. But then you are a special case, aren't you? A smile. On a child's face, it reminds us of all that's good and pure in this world. But on yours, it's all the company of Hades. If you've left any more of your mines on the mainland, son, it will be our singular aim to find out just where they are before anyone else is blown to kingdom come. Take him. Felicitations to the good men and women of the San Francisco police department. Does the lady need a ride back to the mainland? No, the lady does not. But nice thought. Thank you. Peppermint. For your nausea. Officer... Hauser. Emerson Hauser. She has good taste in music, Mr. Hauser. Any improvement? I'm sorry. And if she stays here? Did she ever talk to you about a DNR? Are you saying she's dying? Guy, ready? Oh, okay. Hey, buddy. How you doing? Where'd you come from? Get back! Move, move, get out of the way! What's going on? They're under the ground! Look out! They're under the ground! All units, all units, be advised. Air support en route to Pine Street Park. Multiple explosions reported with severe casualties. Bomb squad on scene. Oh, this does not look good. You were actually near where... Yeah, no, it was just right there. Was it over here? - The south side. - Okay. It was just huge. - You saw it yourself? - Yes. What kind of explosive makes a crater like this? Something small. An I.E.D. maybe. Looks like he used the grass to hide them. Land mines. Holy crap... It's Paxton Petty. He did this before in the early '60s. In the past, there were multiple occasions. He's not finished yet. So you know this case? Three bombs went off. He claimed there was a fourth, but it was never found. All right. So where do we start? I'm gonna work on the locations. You're gonna work on finding Petty. Petty was a combat engineer in the Korean War. Something bad happened in Wonju... schoolchildren killed by U.S. land mines. Petty was the prime suspect. Is that what sent him into Alcatraz? No. Court-martialed. They reassigned him to the Presidio graveyard detail while they did the investigation. Eventually he was tried and convicted. After five years in military prison, he came back to the city and started doing this. All right! Everybody down! Oh, my God. On March 21, 1963, Alcatraz officially closed. All the prisoners were transferred off the island... Only that's not what happened. Not at all. ALCATRAZ S01 Ep06 - Paxton Petty You're checking her for TBI, right? Concussions? Honestly, I barely bumped my head. Thanks. A guy is walking around with a backpack full of mines. SFPD back in '60 thought he stole 'em from the Presidio while he was there. The Presidio isn't a base anymore, so where is he getting them now? Maybe same guy who bought Cobb his rifle, Hastings and Sylvain their guns. Someone's helping these guys. I mean, maybe unfreezing 'em. It's like when captain America was trapped in the Antarctic ice... Doc. Right. But there's always a facilitator. I mean, Lex Luthor. Case in point. Hey, psycho. Hey, psycho. What's up? You switch to decaf yet? Not a chance. I got nine lives. Haven't burned through half of 'em yet. Oh, right. Well, uh... This is some ugly-looking shrapnel. Ugly and old. Like FDR old or Bush 41 old? I'm thinking somewhere in between. But this puppy's been modified. - Who are you? - Soto. Civilian authority. Pulled that from a tree branch. So he's putting something in them. Yeah, most of these whack jobs add ball bearings, nails, whatever's handy, put 'em in the mines to maximize carnage. This doesn't look like some random piece of metal. You mind if I, uh... - Knock yourself out. - Thanks. You want one of me too? Recording bombing victim number six. Severe lower body trauma. Powder burns extending to mid-torso. Becca. - Hey. - Hey, how's it going? I hear you went to the dark side. Federal task force. Yeah. I'm working the Pine Street Bombings. I'm her partner, Dr. Diego Soto. Hey. Sandman. Golden age. Nice. Thanks. So what are you pulling out of him? Oh, why do I have the feeling you already know the answer to that? - That one, please. - Okay. Is that a Laurel wreath design? It looks like some sort of badge or military medal. Hey, did you see psycho there? Oh, yeah. I have a comic book shop over on Columbus. I have every issue of Sandman. Mint condition. You know, if you're ever interested. I thought you said that you were her partner. Oh, I am. It's just, well, I also kind of have, like, a day job. - Thanks, Nikki. - Yeah. Or secret identity. - Doc! - Right. Yeah. "Snow... Beard... Grace." Where are the bombs, Petty? Again. Why don't you just hit him with a sledgehammer? If you're offended, Doctor, by all means, wait outside. Dueling sawbones. Toe to toe. Old school versus the avant-garde. If you'd like me to stop, Warden... Don't be sensitive, Milton. Tell us where they are and you'll have a wool blanket with tea piping hot in a ceramic bowl waiting for your purple pruned hands. We'll find out one way or another. He'll break. Never had a man in this tub that didn't. He's already broken, Dr. Beauregard. What we need to do is put him back together again. A prescription straight from the pad of mother goose herself. When you're ready to come into the 20th century, please let me know. Dr. Sengupta. Time for the talking cure. Step aside, Milton. Yes, ma'am, it's a military medal, all right. These etching lines? They symbolize rays that the Laurel wreath encircles, in the center of which would sit a silver star. Was Petty awarded any medals in Korea? No. He thought he deserved one, though. Fired off a lot of angry letters to uncle Sam while he was, you know, in jail. Got denied every time. So maybe this is payback. Instead of ball bearings or nails. Where would you get a silver star if you didn't earn it? A real one? Well, you wouldn't. What about, like, Craigslist? Not from a military family I take it, sir. Silver star is the third-highest combat military decoration. If it's not left to the family, most are buried with the soldiers. The Presidio. - Graveyard detail. - Thank you, sir. Hey. What the hell are you doing here? My suspect worked the graveyard detail here at the Presidio from 1952 to '54 during his court-martial. You think some old guy's digging up bodies to get their medals? He'd know where they were buried, right? Silver stars, Korean war? Yeah, yeah. Look, forgotten warriors on the east grounds near the family plot. I got to go back inside. I never wear the right clothes. Thanks for meeting us. Doesn't look like anything's been touched. Maybe he got the medal from somewhere else. Didn't you say that the cops suspected Petty stole his mines from Presidio back in '60? Yeah, and they never found his stash. Searched all the tunnels and cellars. No luck. Or maybe he hid them where he knew no one would look. W-w-warm in here. It's nice. What's next? Crumpets? How's that? Feel like a new man. Now that's how you treat someone you want something from, Warden. Glad you approve, son. But I've heard about the mind games in here. What have you heard? I'm not taking these pills. They're not pills, Mr. Petty. Those are mints. I drugged your tea. Just a mild sedative to help you relax. An anesthetic. You were only 18 when you joined the marines. Is that right? I'm not talking to you. You served for the fighting 15th, were part of the Chosin Reservoir battle, the bloodiest of the war. 14 silver stars were awarded to the veterans of the Chosin Reservoir battle. But not you. Despite clearing several frozen minefields by yourself, under heavy fire, providing safe passage for our troops to advance. Hypocrites, the lot of 'em. It's for your safety. Were you scared, Mr. Petty? No, ma'am. Any reasonable person would be scared. Not me. Nope. And they punished you for it. Made you feel like a traitor for doing your job. I just did what I was trained to do. I know, Mr. Petty. The cold and the fear... And the wave after wave of enemy soldiers coming across those frozen fields. You never knew who the enemy might be. Even women and children. Children? Tossing land mines everywhere? Little soldiers. And so you did what you had to do. You went to the village of Wonju, put the mines where they got their water, where they played in the fields. Trying 55 volts at 2/10 of a second. That's right, Mr. Petty. It's okay. It's all going to be okay. You were in the 45th division in Korea, it's that right Mr. Madsen? If you know, why are you asking? You got your degree in medical doctoring, right? I did my residency in internal medicine. Then you explain to me why a perfectly healthy man spends most of his time in infirmary and not on work detail. I assumed you were ill. Well, you'd think I was after all the blood they're taking. I know all about the new lag, the one who likes to blow things up. Is that his voice on the tape? If you want to know what the song is, then you find out why I am in here all the time. Deal. The song? It's a Korean lullaby. The thing about land mines is... You got to remember where you put 'em. Otherwise, you blow up your own men. The lullaby was the enemy's way of communicating that information. One word in each line indicated a different location. We did the same thing. Crosby and Sinatra. "Snow... Beard... Grace." "Snow... "Beard... Grace." Where are you putting them now? "Little brook... In the woods." There's more. A second verse. "Among the pines you flow." Pine Street. It matches. Broke the lock and put a new one on. Yeah, and the kicker is, it looks like he broke it from the inside. He broke out, not in? This is where he came back. Well, let's find out. Looks like somebody was painting. There's paint over here too. Doc, give me a hand with this. Okay. You're right. This is where he hid his stash in 1954. It's been waiting for him. What are these guys thinking when they come back? Were they all asleep? Paint's still wet. We just missed him. Mines are the exact same size. Why is he painting them? Sandstone paint, rubber tiles... oh, my God. Playground turf. They use it all over the city. So the next target... Could be any elementary school or park in San Francisco. Whoever killed the security guard has got to be the same nut job planting land mines. City gets a ransom note. Some crazy Korean poem in it. Guys says give him $651,000 and change, and he'll tell us where the rest of the mines are. - Pretty specific number. - Yeah. Wait. How is it that you caught up with this guy, but everybody else seems to be clueless? I got a secret weapon. Who are you again? Surprise me. We found where Paxton Petty's been hiding his bombs. And Petty? He left a dead security man in his wake. And we found playground turf and spray-paint. Now we don't know what the spray-paint means, but the turf... What color was the paint? The turf means he's gonna hit up a school or a park. We don't have enough information to narrow down the search 'cause there's too many of 'em. What color was the paint? It was tan. Sandstone. That's two different colors. - Look... - Listen, cross-reference your locations with the word "Windward." - Excuse me? - "Windward." Why do you have to be so cryptic? - What are you working on? - Stop! Listen. "Windward." Pull up the list of parks, would you? And check for "Windward." "Sunset." "Sunset... Sandstone." There's only one Windward park or school. Oh, man, Windward Elementary. That's close to my shop. I know those kids. Hey, Tanner. You bored of me yet? We've got a park to check out. We got nothing. We're all clear. Damn it. The park's clear! Swept both playgrounds and the field. Park's clear. Looks like your intel was off. Any place that has this turf needs to be closed and searched. Yes, mom. We're all over it. Watch your step out there. Yeah, you too, Tanner. Hauser was so sure of himself. He was even more of a jerk than usual. You gonna rub it in? Tell me that you're still at the park. Oh, yeah, I am, but Petty's not. Stay there. He could still show up. Where the hell are you? Till you hear back from me, do not move. Petty. You know me? A friend of mine did. Give me your hands. You probably won't want to move now. Now give me your gun and your phone. I've never been on a stakeout before. This isn't a stakeout. It's a waste of time. Hauser say why he thought Petty was coming here? Well, transparency isn't one of Hauser's strong suits. I just pictured him in a transparent suit. It's pretty gross. Shh. Drop the knife. Get on the ground, face down. You with the guy in the suit? You are. Aren't you just a peach? There you go. Where is he? Tick-tick-tick. How about we just cut the cop to psychopath chitchat and you tell me what you want? I want my bombs back. The one in the bags or the one in the cemetery? Your friend is dead. What do you want? I want to know what happened to me. A week ago I went to sleep a stone's throw from where we're standing now. The next thing I know, it's what, 2012? And I wake up lying on the floor of a tomb. Tell me how that's possible, and I'll tell you anything you want to know. Hey. Hey, don't walk away from me. All right. Stay here and talk to him. About what? About what happened. I don't know what happened. You have, like, 50 theories. Just pick one. "Emerson Hauser." This was his case. I think it's a quantum thing. Imagine a water bug on the surface of a pond. And he sees this twig sticking out of the water. When it rains, the water level rises. He thinks the twig is moving, when, in reality, the one dimension he's capable of perceiving is moving. Not the twig. You don't know what happened, do you? No. Does anybody? Probably. Okay. Pine Street. Windward Elementary. "Sunset." Where the hell is "Sunset"? Sandstone paint. Sand. $651,000. That's what, 55 years of back pay the government never gave you? They owe me. They stole my star. They took my pension. Who are you? I wrote a book about Alcatraz, and pretty much everything in it is wrong. You write about me? - No. - Why not? I was there. I was important. The Warden said so himself. Gave me the royal treatment, him and his lady head-shrinker. There were no female doctors on Alcatraz. Let's go. Both of you. Where? Sunset Beach. The location of the land mines are hidden in the lyrics of the song. He painted the mines to blend in with the sand. That's where we'll find Hauser. Or what's left of him. They tell me you've broken the code, Dr. Sengupta. Yes. The words in each verse of Paxton Petty's lullaby correspond to the locations of his bombs. "Snow" for the union square snow festival, "Beard" for beard beach, and "Grace..." Was grace cathedral. Genius. There's a fourth verse. Which means there's a fourth bomb. "Twin tree." What's that? I don't know, but I'm sure the good men of the San Francisco Police Department will. I've already made a call on your behalf. Excellent. Lives will be saved. Alcatraz proving itself to be once again the crown jewel of American penal sciences. Milton, don't skulk out there like a common ferret. It wouldn't kill you to give a compliment to a colleague. Genius. Doctor. I've been meaning to have a word with you about one of your patients. Tommy Madsen's medical records... There's no history of illness recorded. Illnesses come in many shapes and sizes. You of all people should know that. Yes, but why would you have a perfectly healthy man spend so much time in the infirmary? And what do you want with his blood? A word of advice, my Don't overstep. Rebecca, there he is. Walk me to him. Doc, stay here. Call Tanner. You got it. Don't come any closer. Hauser, just hang on. We're gonna get you off that thing. No, you're not. Let me help you. You need anything? - Water? - A cigarette. You don't smoke. I should never have quit. - You don't need to be here. - Oh, I know. Just can't see from up there. So what I told you on the phone, that help you catch him? Windward Elementary. So I was right. Yes. And just this once I will apologize for doubting you. Not just 'cause you're standing on a bomb. About another minute down here. Found the lyrics to that song. Last 1960s bomb, "Twin Tree" clue, you ever find the place? No. Have you been looking for it this whole time? I made a promise to a friend. Gotta go grab something from my pack. I'll be right back. Madsen. When he tells you the bad news, just give it to me straight. He modified it. I'm gonna have to improvise. Modified it how? Not in a good way. Said he's a vet, right? Afghanistan? Maybe we crossed paths. I don't think so. I wonder what he saw out there that made him like this. You get to the good part? You made it a loop. What do you mean? Can we unloop it? The detonator and booster can't be separated from the main charge without triggering the fuse. Designed it special for hotshots like you...and me. Anything that's put together can be taken apart. And we ain't got nothing in common. We'll see. - Can you do this? - Yeah. He's a punk. I got this. All right. Here's the plan. On three, you're stepping off that mine. Got to do it cleanly. Then get behind that blast wall. - I can do that. - No, he's gonna need help. He's been standing here for hours. His legs are dead. I don't need you. As soon as he's off the plunger, I can find the back door to this thing and defuse the mine. Let's go. All right, on three, you're hauling ass. One, two... Three! Okay, this way! Move, move, move! Okay, behind the barricade. Get down, get down. All right. Okay, steady, steady, steady, steady. All right, come to daddy. All right, there you go. All right. Got it. Tanner! All right, get in there now! We're coming, we're coming! Tanner. Tanner, come on, buddy. Couple of things: You just killed a good man... And my legs hurt. We translated your song. We dug up every mine you planted. Not every one. "Twin Tree"? That one went off 20 years ago. How many people went with it? Not a soul hurt. - You're lying. - Okay. I planted that mine on Mount Sutro, right on the trail everyone took to the top. No. That land was already sold to the state when you planted your mine. No one's taken that trail in 50 years. Hauser. But thanks for telling me where to dig. So have you found the twin tree? It's you. You're here. And so are you. Officer Hauser, the twin tree... any leads? Not yet. But I'm working on it. - Day and night. - Well, I'm here to help. In those shoes? Well, I thought we could start with you asking me to dinner. I found the twin tree. And Petty's last bomb. So much death from something so small. You know her methods? Fix her. (DRUMS BEATING RHYTHMICALLY) (CONVICTS GRUNTING RHYTHMICALLY) (SINGING) Look down, look down Don't look them in the eye CONVICTS: Look down, look down You're here until you die No God above And hell alone below CONVICTS: Look down, look down There's 20 years to go I've done no wrong Sweet Jesus, hear my prayer! CONVICTS: Look down, look down Sweet Jesus doesn't care CONVICTS: I know she'll wait I know that she'll be true CONVICTS: Look down, look down They've all forgotten you When I get free You won't see me Here for dust! CONVICTS: Huh! Look down, look down You'll always be a slave Look down, look down You're standing in your grave Retrieve the flag. (GRUNTING) (THUDDING) (SINGING) Now, Prisoner 24601 Your time is up And your parole's begun You know what that means? Yes. It means I'm free No. Follow to the letter Your itinerary This badge of shame You'll show it till you die It warns you're a dangerous man I stole a loaf of bread My sister's child was close to death And we were starving You will starve again Unless you learn the meaning of the law I know the meaning of those 19 years A slave of the law! Five years for what you did The rest because you tried to run Yes, 24601 My name is Jean Valjean! And I'm Javert! Do not forget my name Do not forget me 24601 CONVICTS: Look down, look down You'll always be a slave Look down, look down You're standing in your grave (BREATHING HEAVILY) (PANTING) (SINGING) Freedom at last How strange the taste Never forget the years, the waste Nor forgive them for what they've done They are the guilty Everyone The day begins And now let's see What this new world Will do for me Can I help? A day's work? OVERSEER: Papers. No work here. MAIRIE OFFICER: Valjean, as a dangerous man, you will be on parole forever. Failure to report means immediate arrest. Be in Pontarlier in 30 days. Follow him. (EXCLAIMS IN ANNOYANCE) (YELLING) INNKEEPER: Let me see your papers. Monsieur? Papers. I'll sleep in the stable. Please, I'm hungry. Get out. (GROANS) (EXHALES) (GASPS) Hey! (SINGING) Come in, sir, for you are weary And the night is cold out here Though our lives are very humble What we have We have to share There is wine here to revive you There is bread to make you strong There's a bed to rest till morning Rest from pain And rest from wrong Bless the food we eat today. Bless our dear sister and our honored guest. (SIGHS) (CLATTERING) Get in there! Put him down! Stay there! (GROANS) CONSTABLE: Monsignor. We have your silver. We caught this man red-handed. He had the nerve to say you gave him this. (SINGING) That is right But, my friend, you left so early Surely something slipped your mind You forgot I gave these also Would you leave the best behind? Messieurs, release him This man has spoken true I commend you for your duty Now God's blessing go with you But remember this, my brother See in this some higher plan You must use this precious silver To become an honest man By the witness of the martyrs By the passion and the blood God has raised you out of darkness I have saved your soul for God (SINGING) What have I done? Sweet Jesus, what have I done? Become a thief in the night Become a dog on the run Have I fallen so far And is the hour so late That nothing remains but the cry of my hate? The cries in the dark that nobody hears Here where I stand at the turning of the years If there's another way to go I missed it 20 long years ago My life was a war that could never be won They gave me a number and they murdered Valjean When they chained me and left me for dead Just for stealing a mouthful of bread (BREATHING HEAVILY) Yet why did I allow this man To touch my soul and teach me love? He treated me like any other He gave me his trust He called me brother My life he claims for God above Can such things be? For I had come to hate the world This world that always hated me! Take an eye for an eye! Turn your heart into stone! This is all I have lived for! This is all I have known! One word from him and I'd be back Beneath the lash, upon the rack Instead he offers me my freedom! I feel my shame inside me like a knife He told me that I have a soul How does he know? What spirit comes to move my life? (WEEPING) Is there another way to go? I am reaching but I fall And the night is closing in As I stare into the void To the whirlpool of my sin I'll escape now from that world From the world of Jean Valjean Jean Valjean is nothing now! Another story must begin! (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) BEGGARS' CHORUS: (SINGING) At the end of the day you're another day older And that's all you can say for the life of the poor It's a struggle! It's a war! And there's nothing that anyone's giving One more day standing about What is it for? One day less to be living At the end of the day you're another day colder And the shirt on your back doesn't keep out the chill And the righteous hurry past They don't hear the little ones crying And the plague is coming on fast Ready to kill One day nearer to dying! At the end of the day there's another day dawning And the sun in the morning is waiting to rise Like the waves crash on the sand Like a storm that'll break any second There's a hunger in the land There's a reckoning still to be reckoned And there's gonna be hell to pay At the end of the day! (FACTORY WOMEN GIGGLING) (SHUSHING) At the end of the day you get nothing for nothing Sitting flat on your bum doesn't buy any bread There are children back at home And the children have got to be fed And you're lucky to be in a job And in a bed (GASPS) And we're counting our blessings Have you seen how the foreman is fuming today With his terrible breath and his wandering hands? It's because tittie Fantine won't give him his way Take a look at his trousers You'll see where he stands! (ALL GIGGLING) And the boss, he never knows that the foreman is always on heat If Fantine doesn't look out, watch how she goes She'll be out on the street FACTORY WOMEN: At the end of the day it's another day over With enough in your pocket to last for a week Pay the landlord, pay the shop Keep on working as long as you're able Keep on working till you drop Or it's back to the crumbs off the table Well, you've got to pay your way At the end of the day! And what have we here, little innocent sister? Come on, Fantine, let's have all the news "Dear Fantine, you must send us more money" "Your child needs a doctor There's no time to lose" Give that letter to me It is none of your business (GASPS) With a husband at home and a bit on the side Is there anyone here who can swear before God She has nothing to fear? She has nothing to hide? Stop making trouble. I'm not making trouble. Foreman! What are you doing? FOREMAN: Come on, stop that! Monsieur Madeleine is here! (SINGING) What is this fighting all about? Someone tear these two apart! This is a factory, not a circus Now, come on, ladies, settle down I am the mayor of this town I run a business of repute (PANTING SOFTLY) Deal with this, Foreman. Be as patient as you can. Yes, Monsieur Madeleine. Now, someone say how this began. (SINGING) At the end of the day she's the one who began it! There's a kid that she's hiding in some little town There's a man she has to pay You can guess how she picks up the extra You can bet she's earning her keep sleeping around! And the boss wouldn't like it Yes, it's true there's a child And the child is my daughter And her father abandoned us, leaving us flat Now she lives with an innkeeper man and his wife And I pay for the child What's the matter with that? WOMEN: At the end of the day she'll be nothing but trouble And there's trouble for all when there's trouble for one While we're earning our daily bread She's the one with her hands in the butter You must send the slut away or we're all going to end in the gutter And it's us who'll have to pay At the end of the day! I might have known the bitch could bite I might have known the cat had claws I might have guessed your little secret Ah, yes, the virtuous Fantine who keeps herself so pure and clean You'd be the cause, I had no doubt of any trouble hereabout You play a virgin in the light But need no urging in the night WOMAN: She's been laughing at you while she's having her men! WOMEN: She'll be nothing but trouble again and again! You must sack her today! Sack the girl today! Right, my girl On your way Monsieur le Maven Monsieur le Maven! Monsieur le Mayor! Monsieur le Maven Monsieur le Maven! Please! Please, monsieur! I have a child! Monsieur! (COINS CLINKING) Please! Please. (SOBBING) (SIGHS) Welcome, Inspector. Monsieur le Mayor. (SINGING) Please know me as Javert I'm here at your command With honor due to each And justice in our hand No man's beyond our reach Let all beware Welcome, sir Come guard our laws I'm sure we're here In common cause You've done the city proud You're praised by those on high Your success has earned a force The best that Paris can supply Your people thrive The dignity of toil To stay alive It seems to me we may have met Your face is not a face I would forget FOREMAN: Monsieur Madeleine! Pardon. Monsieur le Mayor! (MEN GRUNTING) Monsieur le Mayor! The weight, it's crushing him! Stay still, stay still. (GROANING) (GRUNTING) (MAN CRIES OUT) Hold, hold, hold! Hold that steady. Hold it steady! (GRUNTING) That's it. That's it. (CART SLAMS) (MEN PANTING) (SINGING) Can this be true? I don't believe what I see A man your age To be as strong as you are A memory stirs You make me think of a man From years ago A man who broke his parole He disappeared Say what you must Don't leave it there Forgive me, sir I would not dare (SHIP'S BELL TOLLING) (GREETING IN FRENCH) How much for this? It's my daughter's. I'll give you four francs for that. Four? It's worth 10! (CHUCKLING) No. (SINGING) I smell women Smell 'em in the air Think I'll drop my anchor In that harbor over there Five? (SINGING) Lovely lady I'll love you till I'm broke Seven months at sea and now I'm hungry for a poke! Even stokers need a little stoke! PROSTITUTES: Lovely ladies Waiting for a bite! Waiting for the customers Who only come at night Lovely ladies Ready for the call Standing up or lying down Or any way at all Bargain prices up against the wall! What pretty hair! What pretty locks you've got there! What luck you've got It's worth a centime, my dear! I'll take the lot! Don't touch me! Leave me alone! Let's make a price I'll give you all of 10 francs Just think of that It pays a debt Just think of that What can I do? It pays a debt Ten francs may save my poor Cosette PROSTITUTES: Lovely ladies Waiting in the dark Ready for a thick one Or a quick one in the park Long time, short time Any time, my dear! Costs a little extra If you want to take all year PROSTITUTES: Quick and cheap is underneath the pier Go and see them. (SINGING) Come over here It's 20 francs for a tooth PROSTITUTE: Come here, my dear I'll pay you well for your youth The pain won't last You'll still be able to bite (WHISPERING) Just the back ones. (SINGING) I do it fast I know my business all right It's worth a go You'll pay me first what I am due You'll get twice if I take two (MUFFLED PROTESTS) Give me the dirt Who's that bit over there? A bit of skirt She's the one sold her hair She's got a kid Sends her all that she can I might have known There is always some man Lovely lady, come along and join us! Lovely lady! Come on, dearie, why all the fuss? You're no grander than the rest of us Life has dropped you at the bottom of the heap Join your sisters Make money in your sleep That's right, dearie Show him what you've got That's right, dearie Let him have the lot PROSTITUTES: Old men, young men Take 'em as they come! Harbor rats and alley cats and every kind of scum Poor men, rich men, leaders of the land See them with their trousers off They're never quite as grand! All it takes is money in your hand Lovely ladies Going for a song Got a lot of callers But they never stay for long Come on, Captain You can wear your shoes Don't it make a change to have a girl who can't refuse? Easy money Lying on a bed Just as well they never see The hate that's in your head Don't they know they're making love to one already dead? (MAN EXHALES) (COINS CLINKING) There was a time when men were kind When their voices were soft And their words inviting There was a time when love was blind And the world was a song And the song was exciting There was a time Then it all went wrong I dreamed a dream in time gone by When hope was high And life worth living I dreamed that love would never die I dreamed that God would be forgiving Then I was young and unafraid And dreams were made and used and wasted There was no ransom to be paid No song unsung, no wine untasted But the tigers come at night With their voices soft as thunder As they tear your hope apart As they turn your dream to shame He slept a summer by my side He filled my days with endless wonder He took my childhood in his stride But he was gone when autumn came (SOBBING) And still I dream he'll come to me That we will live the years together But there are dreams that cannot be And there are storms we cannot weather (SOBBING) I had a dream my life would be So different from this hell I'm living So different now from what it seemed! Now Life has killed the dream I dreamed Have you anywhere to go? No? You need to get warm. (FANTINE COUGHING) BAMATABOIS: What do you have for me? PIMP: Here's our youngest, sir. (SINGING) I don't want you You've got some nerve, you little slut. You've got some gall. (LAUGHS MOCKINGLY) (GASPS) (SCREAMS) Ow! (SINGING) By Christ, you'll pay for what you've done I guarantee I'll make you suffer I beg you, don't report me, sir I'll do whatever you may want Make your excuse to the police Tell me quickly what's the story Who saw what and why and where? Let him give a full description Let him answer to Javert Javert, would you believe it? I was lost here in the dark When this prostitute attacked me You can see she left her mark She will answer for her actions If you make a full report You may rest assured, monsieur She will answer to the court There's a child who sorely needs me Please, monsieur, she's but that high Holy God, is there no mercy? If I go to jail she'll die I have heard such protestations every day for 20 years Let's have no more explanations Save your breath, save your tears Honest work, just reward That's the way to please the Lord A moment of your time, Javert I do believe this woman's tale Monsieur le Mayor! You've done your duty, let her be She needs a doctor, not a jail Monsieur le Mayor! Can this be? Where will she end [Indistinct conversations] Go, go! You're gonna be okay. This is the last set from the sequencer. Well, you were right. I isolated nine different sets of DNA. Six are from the Swiss expedition. I haven't found matches for two of the others, although, genetic markers do indicate they may be local. So there may not be a match. What about this one? It's common to all parties and it was found in the bite marks on Pemba. That's your killer. Western European markers as well as Polynesian. The 2015 quake was his trigger. And I use that as a filter with missing persons. [Typing] [Computer beeps] Monty, you are a genius. [Beep] Oh, man. This poor guy lost everything. This guy isn't evil. He's injured. Call Jack. I know where he's going. Jack, you there? [Static crackling] Jack? What do we do? Call the army. Order us up a chopper. ♪♪ You know, the problem with the DOD is they design everything for desert warfare. If they just understood that 20% of the planet was mountainous, - then... ah! Got it. - [Radio chirps] Jack, do you read? [Static crackling] This way. So you really ain't have nothing else but this red coat? [Chuckles] Monty, it's Jack. Go ahead. Monty: We got the DNA on the killer. Mae: It's an Ian Wilson. He's from New Zealand. Uh, 2015 earthquake triggered an avalanche that wiped out his entire mountain climbing expedition. Authorities assumed that everyone in the expedition died including Ian and his wife. But somehow, he survived. Jack, he's not a monster. He's a very damaged individual. He attacked one of the Nepalis. We're tracking him. Where are you now, Mae? Uh, we are at the base of the avalanche, where his wife was killed. ♪♪ He's been here. About a kilometer that way. Stick tight, Mae. We're on our way. ♪♪ Jack, he's here. ♪♪ Mr. Wilson? We know who you are. You're hurt. And we can help you, please. There's no need to be scared. - Speak for yourself. - [Clicks button] I'm gonna put my gun down. Are you crazy? You do this every week? Agent Garrett, yeti or no, he is a monster responsible for many deaths. This man is suffering from a neurological trauma. Charging in and killing him is not justice. We need to try to apprehend him. If threatened, my men will respond. If they are threatened. Those are my agents up there. They have this situation under control. Tell your men. [Shouts in Nepali] This is bad. The yeti myth is part of their identity. Any move he makes will be seen as aggression. Mae, you're about to have company. Ian, there are men coming and they wanna hurt you. Please, this is what Charlotte would've wanted. He can't understand you. Maybe I should shut the hell up. We know about the avalanche that killed your wife. [Whimpers, whines] The search party looked for you for three days, but they had to turn back because of the aftershocks. [Groans] You could hear them, couldn't you? [Moaning sadly] I cannot imagine the pain, the feeling of abandonment. But, Ian, killing is not the answer. [Moans, huffs] Stay back. We have it under control. Ian, please. Come with us. We can get you help. [Whimpers] Ian, no, please. [Gunfire] [Gasps] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ Namaste. - Thanks. - Mm-hmm. Well, I guess that puts the yeti myth to bed once and for all. I doubt it brings much comfort to Meegan's family. But they do have some closure. You know, I have to admit that when I saw those footprints, even I started to believe a little bit. I can't imagine what it took to survive an injury like that. Well, that speaks to the strength of the human spirit. Yeah, but was he? You know, human? Having devolved to such an animalistic state? I think so. I think on some level he knew what he was doing when he charged those men. You think he wanted to die? I think he was suffering. I think he wanted to be with his wife. You know, there's this Buddhist concept called Kalyana-mittata, or spiritual companionship. And they say that it transcends death or rebirth. Well, maybe he got what he wanted. Clara: Maybe he did. You know, technically, this doesn't disprove the evidence of the yeti. There could still be undiscovered species out there. - Hey, Monty. - Yes, sir. Enough with the yeti. - Let's go home. - Yes, please. [Laughter] ♪♪ [Speaks indistinctly] [Simmons and Mae laugh] Subtitle transcribed by Uncle Andy I shall ride ahead and announce His Majesty's arrival. No, I shall announce my own arrival. A little surprise will do them a world of good. May I ask what this is about? Her Majesty did not confide in me, Madame. You mean you know but you won't tell me. The Marquise de Montespan. Her Majesty has summoned me here for a reason, I imagine. Yes, it relates to your debts. And I was not aware that I had any. A new carriage, 40,000. A silver locket, 7,000. Wine, 2,000. All of these were placed against the King's account. A total, over 100,000 pounds and should have been paid one month ago. Well, I am sure, when the King returns, he will settle any outstanding debts. As you know, anyone unable to pay their debts loses their allowance and is automatically banished from court. Her Majesty seems ignorant of the fact that we are not in Spain and we do not have Inquisitions in France. Sire, it is a pleasure to see you return. Where is Her Majesty? She is in conference, Sire. The King! Clear the room! The Marquise de Montespan shall remain. You have been missed, by none more so than myself. I missed you too. You did not reply to my letters. May I ask why? While I was at war, I thought back to the vision I had when they laid the first stones of this palace. The dream of an eternal empire with Versailles at it's center. And I realized that my dream was suffocating. Versailles was dying, and I was dying with it. And the person ,who had been my companion for so long, was blinding me to my true purpose. His Majesty is weary, perhaps. I would be alone. Solange, please close the door. No doubt, the war has taken it's toll and he is in need of rest. He was in good spirits? Indeed. The King's thrown himself back into matters of state and the construction of the palace. Well, no doubt, he was delighted to see you. Solange, please ask the maid to prepare my bath. Of course, Madame. He loves me and I will give him the attention and affection that he needs. Of course. Your Majesty must be tired, after such a long journey. Tired, yet reinvigorated. When I last saw you, Sire, you seemed... Lost? Now, I am found. I want you to organize a banquet for this evening. Send out invitations. The entire court will attend. A fine idea, Sire. But first, tell me news. All that has happened in my absence. Hide nothing. And your husband? He grows sicker by the day. The last few weeks are the worst. It is too late to regret what you have done. I regret nothing. But I will live the rest of my life, a murderer. No. You will live the rest of your life as a woman who defended herself. Go. The prodigal brother is returned. I understand you made a fine monarch, in my absence. I did my best but of course, I could not fill your shoes. Anyway, I thank you for your efforts. You drove a good bargain and we now have a foothold in India. All for the sake of France. How was the war? Exhilarating? Educational. I left to escape my foes here and to confront another foe on the field of battle. But I realized that my only true enemy had accompanied me all the way. Who was that? Welcome home, brother. You've changed. Though I cannot yet see how. You soon will. How is your wife? Oh, you know her. Bouncing through life. Well, that was fun! Can't possibly see the King now, unless he likes being vomited upon. You must see a doctor. Tell His Highness to come immediately. That's really not necessary. I'm certain it was the pastries I had last night. Your Highness, you must see a doctor, given all that's happened of late. Oh, I see. Yes, perhaps, you should call for a doctor. An invitation from the King. An invitation from the King. You must send a message to my dressmaker and the Monseur Cornereau in Paris. Tell them they must come to the palace immediately. Monsieur Cornereau? He makes fireworks, you idiot! Queen of Versailles, that's what he called me, and I'm going to show him how Queens welcome home their Kings. This is most heartening news, Sire! I was deaf to your advice. I shall not be again. Even the Lord Jesus was lost in the widerness. In three weeks, we shalll celebrate Easter, Sire. You shall receive Communion and all the children of God will rejoice. And shall I? And what does His Majesty intend for the unfortunate object of his previous affection? I shall forget her. And the Lord will forgive her. In return, I insist on the Church's unconditional support in my war against the Dutch. And you shall have it! It is my goal is to drive out the Protestant scourge and create a Catholic Empire with justice and enlightenment at it's center. I need Rome by my side, not blocking my path. Viscouf. That hurts! The blood has been contaminated, Your Highness. By the process of purging and xenotransfusion, the humor will be returned to their normal state. Xenotransfusion meaning? The introduction of the blood of another species. In this case? The blood of a sheep. I shall return later today. Do you believe that she's been poisoned? I do. Nausea, vomiting, general feeling of weakness, thosse are common symptoms, yes. And do you believe that this is the best course of treatment? I do. You better pray you're right! Because if your not and something happens to her, I would stick that quill right through your eye! Was it you? Was what me? How did you do it? Did you slip poison into her wine? What are you talking about? My wife! She has been poisoned and I think I know who did it! Do not be ridiculous! You yourself said you would declare war on her! I may dislike her clothes, I may mock her, I may hate her for stealing you from me and in the dark of night, I have wished her dead, but I wouldn't go so far as to make her dead. I'm sorry. You should be. I believe it to be the only option left open to us, Sire. The only option? Sire, Bonn has fallen. We have received word that William's army has crossed the Rhine. If we sue for peace now, at least we will do so from a postion of relative strength. No. Give orders for Turenne to bolster his position. And the Palatinate, Sire? An invasion is imminent! Our forces are greatly outnumbered. The army of the Palatinate is too weak to defend itself. Do whatever is necessary. I'm not sure I understand, Sire. Do whatever is necessary! You requested my presence, Sire? Follow me, gentlemen. France is sullied by events here at the Palace, by our reverses in Holland. I want the people of France to see their King and country in a better light. Whatever setbacks we may suffer in the war, they will read of nothing but epic victories and I want you to describe them. trumpet them to the world with every fine phrase and heroic simile at your disposal. Sire, if I may... Look around you, gentlemen. What do you see? Furniture. Yes. Walls. Yes, furniture, walls, curtains, candles What else? Darkness. Precisely. I dreamed of creating a hallway ten times the size of this room. A room without darkness. On one side, windows looking out to the gardens, on the other, mirrors. A hall of blinding light that would make the Palace famous throughout the world and for time eternal! Let us now turn this dream into reality! It is Her Highness, Sire. She is taken ill. Talk to me, doctor. I beg your patience, Sire. It would rather scrub your plans, wouldn't it, if she died? She will not die. Suppose, having the death of both my wives on your conscience? Henriette's death had nothing to do with me. I beg to differ. There is a certain test I wish to perform. Here. What is this for? Urine, Your Highness. Of course. Your staring at me is not making this any easier. Thank you. Wine. Well? Yer Highness is pregnant! Congratulations! My heartfelt congratulations to you both. We did it! Contesse d' Borchere. Still nothing from the Maquets? They already paid once. And they shall pay again. Put another note under their door. I'm in no mood for tenderness. You will stand behind the hedge and you will wait for my signal. Yes ,Madame. When I raise my hand, you will begin. How much longer? Two hours, Madame. You do not have two hours, you have one! Stupid girl! Go and find out at what time the King is expected to make his entry. Yes, Madame. I had forgotten. What? How exquisite you are. Don't ever go away again. Monseur and Madame Maquet. Did you hear the latest news about the Count De Valletta? No. A very sad affair. Despite several reminders from his creditors, he refused to pay his debt. The King was informed, sentenced him to 10 years in prison. I thought you should know. If it isn't France's favorite couple! On the right, the Duke d'Orleans, sporting a delicious spring outfit and on the left, looking in fine fettle... My wife is pregnant. The King! Look at me, each and every one of you. You all have a choice to make. and now is the moment to make it. To live the dream of Versailles or betray it. If you choose to betray the dream, you will end your days in the gutter of history but if you choose to follow me, here, now, tonight, there is no limit to what we can achieve. Tomorrow is the equinox, when the hours of the sun are longer than the hours of the night and the shoots of branch and blossom are reborn. Let us banish the shadows that have haunted this palace for too long! Let us now be reborn! You have forgotten your place. She had it coming, she deserves it. How the mighty have fallen! Inform the Duke De Luxembourg my collar needs adjusting. And tell the Duke De Cassel to retire to his rooms Go to your rooms. Apparently, the Dutch are attacking Utrecht. I want to send someone I trust. It will be an honor, Sire. Heavens above! The forest warden tells me he returns here every day to pay his respects at Madamoiselle Masson's grave. She was murdered shortly after leaving His Majesty's service. I will speak with him alone. Why did you bury her here? She used to walk here, as a child, studying the plants and flowers. I'm sorry for her death. I wish I could have done something. You could have. Who killed her? She was investigating the poisons being used at the palace. She must have discovered something she was not meant to. I need you. I wish you to return to my service. This is not an order. It is a request. You must take up where you left off. The poisonings continue. They must be stopped once and for all. They can be and they shall be, Sire, but on one condition. That I trust your judgment? Yes, Sire. I have always trusted your judgement. It was my own that fell by the wayside. The King is easily influenced. We must act quickly, before she twists his mind back in her favor. What does Her Majesty propose? He listens neither to you nor to me. Madame Scarron, what do you say? I believe we are good when we are surrounded by good people. Yes, I find it hard to believe that His Majesty can be so easily influenced by a woman. It depends on the woman. We must place someone else in his life, someone chaste and devout, who will show him the path of moderation. But who? I'm not sure I understand. Madame Scarron will befriend him and influence him with her modesty and piety And impress upon him the benefits of marriage and fidelity. I'm fear you overestimate my abilities. Perhaps it's you that underestimates them? Do this for me and for the King. Do you accept? I'm sorry, Your Majesty... Do you accept? No murder comes without a cost. Never a truer word spoken. What do you make of it? They were being blackmailed for murder. They were unable to pay, so they decided to end their lives in order to save the family honor. The murder of whom? I'm willing to wager that a relative of this family died recently but I'll need you to give me the records of deaths, to confirm it. Of course. Monseur Marchal? Yes? The palace is a safer place and we shall sleep better in our beds now that you've returned. Cyclamen, lilies, hyacinths leading down as far as the bottierre And here... Yes? I would like a rose bed with orange roses. Of course, Your Majesty. I did not know you like the gardens. Perhaps you would allow me to give you a tour. I designed them myself. Please, do not be offended, Sire, but I am more interested in people than in plants. If His Majesty were to tell me of his experiences at war, I would find that far more fascinating. Let us talk of war some other time. I should like to ask your advice on a delicate matter. I would be honored. This concerns the Marquise de Montespan. I see. As you know, we have been close for some time. I have decided that we should see less of each other but I remain unsure of whether it is a wise idea. I want nothing more in the world than to see my friend happy. However, it is my belief that intimate relations between a man and a woman should remain within the confines of marriage. I believe you decision's for the best. For God, for her and for His Majesty. I hope this is important. You know how much I hate mornings. Please, you have to talk to him. Why me? Because you suffer at his hands as much as I do. He forced you to marry for politics, he rejects me to please the Church and you are the only person that he will listen to. I fail to see what argument could possibly change his mind. Love is stronger than any argument, is it not? My brother seems more guided by duty than love or argument these days. Of course. I have decided to set up a new trading company in the East Indies. I personally will invest 3 million pounds in the company. The rest, we shall sell as shares, to the value of one million each. Very wise, Your Majesty. As for trade within France, the Crown will receive a 10% import fee on all goods brought into the country and 40% of the transportation tariffs from the Canal du Midi. Something bothers you? It is merely that the levy imposed on all transportation on the Canal du Midi has already been claimed. By whom? By His Majesty's brother in his position as proprietor of the area ofLanguedoc. I see. Was that the doctor? Oh, it's you. You're suffering, aren't you? Yes. From an imbalance of humors caused by an excess of yellow bile. Hm! Or so he says. Well, nothing a course of leeches can't cure. Indeed. And speaking of leeches, No doubt, you were praying that I'd been torn apart by a Dutch cannonball. Hope springs eternal. Now then, I trust you have some useful information for me? I do not. And yet i happen to know, you were in the presence of the King just this morning. The answer is no and will remain no. Why? Because I'm no longer in ac ondition to fulfill my duties as a Minister. Well, I have decided to spend the rest of my days in quiet repose. Need I remind you, dear friend, that should you betray me to the King, I will find out and then I will kill you! Not without a certain degree of pleasure, I might add. He was most insistent, Sire, that we all be present. This really is highly irregular! Well, this is hardly the first time he could be accused of that. Your Majesty, I have sinned against you. For five years, I was part of a conspiracy to have you overthrown. Why do you tell me this? Because you did me the honor of trusting me when others did not. and I wish to show my gratitude. And why now? I'm tired, Sire. No longer fit to serve you. You realize I should have you executed for this? I trust His Majesty to do what is just and right But I have no plans to leave the palace. I can be found in my rooms. One more thing: Your historian, Thomas. What of him? He knew of my involvement in the plot against you. He's been blackmailing me for secret information ever since he arrived. He's not to be trusted. Tell my brother I would like to see him. I applaud your new passion for the world of commerce. I cannot let personal interests override those of France. Yours, you mean. My interests are those of France. All I can be is King. You still do not seem to understand that. And all I seek is a place of my own! A little spot in the corner where I shall not be trampled upon. It's that too much to ask? The Canal du Midi serves all of France. You cannot own it any more than I can. What's this for? So you don't have to steal it from me. There is one way you can retain your commercial interests: It would require you performing a service for me. A service? The historian, Thomas. You know him well. I know him. Get to know him better. I want him to trust you, implicitly. Why? Because he's a spy. Let us through! You want some? Yes, I want some. Are you, Matilde? Yes, but I'm not on duty. I'd like to have a word with you. I am a friend of Madamoiselle Masson, the doctor. A kind soul. Whatever happened to her? She was murdered. the day before she died, she came here looking for poison. Poison? Yes. The kind that kills innocent young doctors. I don't know anything about poison and even if I did, I wouldn't say anything. If you want to survive around here, you see nothing, you hear nothing and you say nothing. You gave your child to the Church? Yes, to Sainte-Genevieves. Sainte-Genevieves? Yes. A refuge for orphans and families just outside of Paris. They feed them, clothe them, teach them a trade. Hopefully, something not the same as mine. Here, take another day off. My saucy little Hector! Yes! I think I may return to my rooms. No, you will stay here with me. Otherwise, I shall have no one to talk to and that will be embarrassing. As you wish. Bitch! I tbelieve you delivered this to the wrong person. No, I have delivered it to the Marquise de Maintenon. My heartfelt congratulations. I don't understand. Iside, you will find the deeds and title to the Maintenon estate that the King himself offers you, in your name. This is absurd. I have no taste for titles and such things. You soon will have. Gaston De Foix's newfound wealth, where does it come from? well, certainly not the gambling tables. His losses this month have come into thousands, though he has always payed on time. By the way, I encountered a friend of yours, yesterday in Paris. Oh, yeah? Well, who was that? Goes by the name of Hector. Well dressed, well spoken, a grave manner, spitting image of you, in fact. Are you referring to what I think you are? To what do you think I'm referring? Every so often, I pay a visit to a friend of mine. We have tea and converse, for reasons I do not understand, and with no encouragement on my part, she likes to call me Hector. Tea? Tea! Of course. Don't worry, the King will know nothing of these tea parties. Hector. I have not yet found the opportunity. You must be patient. I cannot be patient. I know him. If I wait, he will find another, but not your equal. But you agree. He will find someone else. This is the first time... What? ...that I've see you like this. Not the cold and distant goddess that breaks every man's heart and strikes fear into everyone in the salon but but soft, human, vulnerable. And broken. Go and see him. Confront him. Tell him your feelings. You're wasting your time, waiting and hoping. If he accepts you back, then you have reaped the rewards of your courage. And if he rejects me? Go! Thank you. Get out! Do you still love me? I gave you my reasons. Do you still love me? Say "I do not love you." Say it! Say it! I do not love you. You're a liar! You did the right thing, coming to see me. I do not have anyone else. You say it is the Church that has persuaded the King to renounce his love for you? Yes. You have beauty, wit, intelligence, yet none of these have proved strong enough to retain the King's love. Only one course remains open to you. What do I have to do? There's someone you should meet. Who? His name is Guibourg. Who is he? He's a friend and he sees the world as we do. Where shall I find him? Monsieur Guibourg? Yes? I need your help. Who are you? Who are you? I am the Marquise de Montespan. And how may I help you? I need to reclaim a man's love. The King's? Yes. You've come to me because all other efforts have failed? I have. How far are you willing to go to reclaim his love? To own it it forever. As far as I need. Subtitle transcribed by Uncle Andy ♫♫ Woman: ♫ After you've gone ♫ ♫ And left me cryin' ♫ ♫ After you've gone ♫ ♫ There's no denyin' ♫ ♫ You'll feel blue ♫ ♫ You'll feel sad ♫ ♫ You'll miss the only pal you've ever had ♫ ♫ There'll come a time ♫ ♫ Now don't forget it ♫ [car horn honks] [traffic noise] [clears throat] This is not coming from me. But some are complaining of a draft. To think, I could be dead by now. Well, nevertheless, you stole my last cigarette. Absolutely not. Try not to die a liar. ♫♫ [indistinct chatter] [sighs] [chatter] Not to worry, gentlemen. Everything is under control. Carry on. A-ha! Take that, prohibition. Where would we be if not for private clubs. Out of work. [laughter] Right. Totally unacceptable. Daylight. Fitzgerald, always jump in the daylight. Draws a much bigger crowd. Although, the splat is far more indecorous. To wit, Martin Baxter's high dive of Holder Hall. Where's the trade off, then? Hm? Dealer's choice. - Thank you, brethren. - Noted. ♫♫ What say you, Townsend? They don't have much lift. Perhaps they have aptitude. Or just... family. Dear God. I have neither. - [laughter] - [all exclaiming] No need to marry, my friend. [laughter] There's always champagne. [laughter] [cork popping] [laughing] I swear. You are the worst shot I've ever seen, John Sellers. That's why we have lots of ammo, Zelda Sayre. Allow me. Oh, you think you're pretty good, do you? I am deadly accurate in everything I do. Old Mr. Chads here. The meanest teacher I ever had. - Oh, he was harmless. - Mm-mm. Easy for you to say, he liked you. - [cork popping] - [laughing] That's because he never knew I was the one putting' gum on his seat. Oh, that was you? He'd jump up all wiggly and squirmy, grabbing' at his backside, th... that squeaky little voice of his cooing like a pigeon. Ooh, ooh. [laughing] - [cork popping] - Ooh! [laughing] Social studies. Why do we even need to know the state capitols? I'm never going to Kansas. Topeka. Show off. Vermont. Montpelier. Wyoming. Cheyenne. Deadly accurate. - [cork popping] - [laughing] - [gasping] - Come on, come on, come on, come on. Shh. Let me get the door. We'll crawl in. It's probably time I was gettin' home. No, but it's still early. All right, then. It's only a block away. Well, it feels like you're runnin' away. No. Just walkin'. 'Night, John Sellers. Goodnight, Zelda Sayre. ♫♫ It's the damnedest thing, Townsend. Zelda writes how much she misses me, and then she says that she's going off to Cotillion with Peyton, Patton, Perry... A girl has to keep her options open. [scoffs] What do you write back? Frankly, I think it's extremely inconsiderate of her to even expect me to. I mean, she's the one that's insisting that I rewrite my novel before she'll marry me. Which you've done. And I'm doing again. Once I get off to a good start, that is. Hm. I just need to show her that I can do it. [clears throat] Hell, she knows I can. I know I can. But until then... why not send her a note? She's quite aware of how I feel, Townsend. - In my experience... - [chuckles] Women like to be reminded. [laughs] Oh, you're so like a man, Townsend. [chuckles] [sighs] Is it possible that you are the worst friend a fellow has ever had? [chuckles] And thank you for picking up my tab tonight. Oh, no, thank Winston. I signed his name to everything. [laughing] - [glass breaking] - [car horn honking] [keys jangling] [sighs] So you see, dearest Scott, I worry that I'll never do anything of import, for I'm much too lazy to care whether a thing is done or not. All I truly want is to be young always, and to feel that my life is my own. [indistinct chatter] Tildy says the people of New York all have different kind of accents. The likes of which she's never heard. Plenty of different accents around here. You mean, like, Mississippi and Georgia? They are different. Are they not? I think Tildy's talkin' about non-southern type accents, Daddy. Yes, Tootsie, I understand. - We about done here? - Zelda, honey. Could you post this for me? I suppose so. The streets are filled to the brim with people and cars and buses and trolleys. It's all one big swirl. Nothin' to love about the big city. I think it sounds exciting. Yet you passed on your chance. Which is to our good fortune. Still havin' you here with us. So happy to keep you happy, Daddy. Livy and Ellie are waitin' on me. We're goin' to the suffragette rally this afternoon. Do you want to come, Tootsie? I promised Abigail I'd baby sit little Camden. What about Annie Laurie's tea dance, Zelda? Isn't that today? Those affairs are insufferable. More so than the "insufferablegette" rally? I find it gratifying that Zelda has so many activities to choose from. Well, I'm off to march, wave signs and shout slogans that would curl your hair. Nothing to love about women voting. Sorry I'm late. Your family takes forever to eat lunch. - Livy. - Well, she's right, Ellie, they do. I thought you changed your mind. I wouldn't miss this. It's historic, and happening right here in little old Montgomery. Not to mention it's something to write about in your next letter to Mr. Scott Fitzgerald. Dearest Scott, the rally was ever so amazing. Why do you keep writing him, anyway? Well, just because I told him I wasn't gonna marry him doesn't mean I can't correspond, does it? - Come on, Zelda. - Whatever is the matter now? I'm comin', I'm comin'. Woman: Votes for women. Violets for votes. All: Votes for women. Violets for votes. [thunder] [wind blowing] [mouthing] [sighs] [bell ringing] Layout is ready, illustrations are late. Where are we on print? Depends on which magazines. And how much lead time. Time, Life, Redbook. National editions or regional? What do they have to do with teeth? - He speaks. - Excuse me? What do Chesterfields have to do with teeth? Dentists recommend them. For what, stains? This is our first major shot at the cigarette market. Do you have any idea how big this is gonna be? Oh, this big? [sighs] Mr. Little, people buy cigarettes for their taste, for the quality of the tobacco, not for their teeth. We've got dentists. So, we have to get people to buy Chesterfields because dentists recommend them. Makes your food taste even better. The brandy's never been smoother. Helps settle the stomach. Doesn't sound very "dentisty." And what does sound "dentisty" to you, Mr. Fitzgerald? Mr. Fitzgerald? This is... This is absurd. This is the... Can't do this anymore. Now, look here, Fitzgerald... No. Mr. Little, allow me, for I believe this is the moment in the meeting wherein I quit. What? And lose dentists. Go with the singular. "At the end of a long day serving others, "this dentist relaxes with a calming Chesterfield cigarette. "It's all the service he needs." Write that down. - Write that down. - Okay. I've spent today in the graveyard, all washed and covered with weepy, watery blue flowers. I'll just say, but all the broken columns and clasped hands and doves and angels mean romance to me. Out of a row of Confederate soldiers, two or three will make you think of dead lovers. They're exactly like the others, even to the yellowish moss. Oh, death is so beautiful. So very beautiful. We will die together. I know. Out of a row of Confederated soldiers... Oh, death is so beautiful. So very beautiful. So you see, dearest Scott... I've spent today in the graveyard. [words overlapping] ...is to be young always. We will die together. I know. I only stopped by to say hey when Roger has to suddenly go out back and check his bait tanks. So then this Miss Elvina comes in, she must have been 100 years old, and I tell her, I say, "Roger's just a friend of my family's in cotton," but she won't hear of it, she just wants to talk fish. [voice fades] ♫♫ Zelda. Zelda? Oh. Did she get what she wanted? I hope so. I beat it out of there the minute Roger got back. I'm sorry. Sometimes I... I get goin' on a story. Not at all, John. I like it. It speaks to your general enthusiasm. Well, I do have that. I have something else. My pin. You know what this means, right? I surely do. Where is everybody, Mama? I'm here. I mean Daddy. Rotary Club. All right, then. Well, Zelda, baby, how is everything? What? Just, you know, wondering how everything is? You are so bad at faking' things, Mama. You know, don't you? Well, I know you know. Now, I may have run across Mrs. Sellers at the grocery today. And she just may have mentioned that John was gonna give me his pin tonight? Possibly. I have lots of pins from lots of boys, Mama. I know, Zelda dear. I've been followin' along lo these many years, but somehow this one's different, isn't it, baby? How do you know when it's different, Mama? I don't know. What kind of answer is that? What kind of answer did you want? Well, he cares about you a great deal. Anyone can see that and... You know, he'll certainly be able to care for you. Those are not unimportant things. I know that. You and Daddy never think I do, but I do. It's what worried everyone so about Scott. But, Mama... you weren't happy marrying' Daddy. Oh, come now, Zelda. I know there were other possibilities. Were you in love with any of them? You can find something to love about every man if you put your mind to it. I don't want to have to put my mind to it. But you will, baby. Whether you want to or not. I'm just gonna run this laundry downstairs. I can do that, Mama. Oh, of course. Thank you, dear. [ticking] [clears throat] Excuse me, Miss Hunnicutt. Mr. Perkins did ask me to come by at 2:00. [ticking] And so you have. [door opens, closes] Mr. Perkins will see you now. [sighs] - Fitzgerald. - Mr. Perkins. There you are, my boy. Have a seat. [clears throat] Thank you for, uh... for seeing me. So, I've given it a read. It's longer. And quite different. Don't forget your hat this time, Mr. Fitzgerald. Oh, Miss Hunnicutt. Miss Hunni, Hunni, Hunni, Hunni, Hunni, Hunnicutt. ♫♫ [bell jingles] - Come on, baby, open it up. - Don't rush me. It's not a baby alligator. It's not gonna bite ya. - I said don't rush me. - Oh, don't rush her, it's comin' on Christmas. [laughing] [gasping] Oh, my Lord, will you look at that? It's beautiful, Zelda. I ain't never seen one like it. - Oh. - What about the letter? - It's from Scott. - We know that. - What did he say? - He sold his book. [screaming] Oh, that's wonderful, Miss Zelda, just wonderful. And he proposed? New York? - Oh, baby. Oh. - Love you, Mama. Tootsie: Wait until Tildy here's about this. It's just beautiful. Oh, Zelda has got some news, dear. It's almost 6:15. Dinner. Scott's book is gonna be published. You don't have to do this, you know. ♫♫ Holy Lord, that's Stuart Ramsey's little brother Ralphie. Flash the lights, honk the horn. We see you, Ralphie! We're gonna tell your mama. [giggling] He can't be more than 14. They get younger every year, don't they, Zelda? You got anymore cigarettes? I think we're good for the night. [laughing] Zelda, didn't you used to have a crush on Stuart Ramsey? Maybe when I was eight. He might be interesting now. He's done well for himself. Practically runs the post office. Then why don't you be interested, Ellie? Why, I hadn't thought about it. [gasping] [giggling] I hadn't thought about it but I possibly could be. Zelda's got her hands full with Mr. Sellers. And Mr. Fitzgerald. [sighs] Don't you two have anything better to talk about? No, this is Montgomery. [laughs] Oh, look, it's Bucky Turner. [horn honking] We see you, Bucky! We're gonna tell your mama! His mother's dead. Sorry, Bucky, about your mama! [giggling] Livy: I know this is awful to say, but... sometimes I miss the war. Livy. You have to agree it was more fun. More men, more falling' in love. Fallin' in love? Yeah, fallin' in love, pretty near every night. - Not me. - That's because your daddy didn't let you go to the dances, but Zelda and I, we participated in the war effort. Doesn't this take the cake? Milton Grable. - [laughing] - [horn honking] We see you, Milton! We're gonna tell your mama! [giggling] I love him. [indistinct chatter] [train whistle blows] [steam hissing] Zelda! Zelda, wait up! - Hey. - Zelda! - Hi. - So glad you came. - Hi. - Hi. Oh, Zelda, don't leave me. I'm here, dummy. Love you, Zelda honey. - We'll visit you. - Oh, please do, and soon. We'll paint the town. [train whistle blows] - All right. - Bye. Bye. Bye. Let's go, Zelda. They're not comin'. It's dinner time. Let's go. - Bye. - Bye. Bye. Man: All aboard! All aboard! [train whistle blows] ♫♫ [indistinct chatter] [bell ringing] [train chugging] ♫♫ Zelda: Where shall we sit? We're actually leaving Montgomery, Zelda. Can you believe it? Yes, I can. ♫♫ .srt Extracted and Resynced by Dan4Jem, AD.MMXVII.I ♪ Remember, remember you will ♪ ♪ Take one fresh and tender kiss ♪ ♪ Remember you will ♪ ♪ Add one stolen night of bliss ♪ ♪ Remember you will ♪ ♪ One girl, one boy... ♪ Hey, mister, you a pilot? Not yet, but I'm getting there. - Were you in Korea? - I saw a little action. Golly gee, you're a hero! I'm no hero. But if it wasn't for me... you'd be working in a rice paddy. Gee, thanks, mister! Oh, my girl's coming out. Here's a dollar, kid. - Treat your folks to dinner. - Wow! ♪ Memories are made of this ♪ ♪ The memories you gave me ♪ ♪ Serve it generously with love ♪ ♪ The memories you gave me ♪ ♪ One man, one wife... ♪ Oh, come on, ladies. Buy something already. Oh, Sue, why are you trying to sell containers to that fat tub of shit? She's never had a leftover in her life. That's the great Jim Reeves. Hard to believe it's been ten years since we lost him in a horrific plane crash. Lucky bastard. - Hey, mister. You a pervert? - No! Then why are you staring at ladies through that window like one? - That's my wife in there. - How come you're not at work? How come you're not leaving me the fuck alone? I'm gonna tell my dad you swore at me. He's a cop. Then he can solve your murder, you nosey little shit! Frank, no! You've got to stop swearing at other people's children. You're right. Hey, go play with your father's gun! - Frank! - I didn't swear. Would you please go in and carry out the rest of the stuff I didn't sell? There's a lot of it. Okay, sure. Be right back. Why me? Is everybody in your family a loser? - Get the fuck out of here! - Ow! ♪ Come and get your love ♪ ♪ Come and get your love ♪ ♪ Come and get your love ♪ ♪ Come and get your love ♪ ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ And now back to Colt Luger... Classics. - Hey, Dad, Colt's back on! - Hang on, hang on. Oh, Christ, who keeps turning this up to 64? - Dad, it's cold. - Quit your bitching, Kevin. Kids in Africa would kill to see their breath. You sold a friend of mine some bad pixie dust, Tinker Bell, that made him think he could fly. But gravity's an hombre that never loses. So slap on a bra because you're about to have a bad trip to the San Cortez Regional Correctional Institute for broads! See that, kids? That's the kind of man you want to be: self-employed. Don't ever go back to the department, Colt! They'll use you up and hang you out to dry on Christmas! You'll wind up sitting there with your freezing family waiting for the phone to ring! Don't worry, Dad. They'll call you. That's right. And it'll be Bob Pogo on his hands and knees begging you to come back. There's no reason for us to be worried. Everything's gonna be fine. That airline cannot go on without you. Now enjoy your show. Psychedelic dandelion! I've been dosed! There's a lizard in my brain! I'm Roger Dunbarton of Mohican Airways, and we are back! Our labor troubles are over and we're better than ever. I don't believe it. Believeit! ♪ The smoke signals never lie ♪ ♪ We are ready to fly ♪ ♪ Mohican Airways ♪ ♪ Your family in the sky ♪ Call today for a "reservation"! I'm going to bed. It's only 7:30. - It's midnight in my mind. - Frank... I liked him better when he yelled at us. God. Oh, God. Why did he buy that damn TV? No. No! Not again. Get... Go back! Frank. Frank. Oh, my God, I just had the worst dream. You were having another kid. Maureen's the last one, right? Tell me she's the last one! She's the last one. Oh, thank God. It was horrible. This baby had teeth! What are you doing? I'm trying to figure out which bill we can pay. Well, we got about eight inches of free water falling right now. So, heat it is. Frank, we'll get through this. We always do. I'm here for you. The kids love you. Mohican will realize their mistake and take you back. And if they don't, you'll get a better job somewhere else. Yeah, sure. I'm gonna go downstairs. Oh, Sue, don't do that. I haven't showered in days. I meant the kitchen, Frank. Get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day. Only if I get hit by a bus. Swami says the answer is: "Perpetuate." Perpetuate. The question: "How do they charge you in a Vietnamese deli?" Per-pet-u-ate! Yes, those people are dog eaters! Bill. What are you doing up at this hour? I don't know, I'm just kind of worried. Well, I'm worried about you not getting enough sleep. Go to bed, honey. Sweet dreams. Leave, leave, leave! I don't know what you think you saw! Wasn't doing nothing! Oh, Christ! Guten Morgen, Frank! I'm off to work! All right, neighbor! Fucking asshole, rubbing his charmed life in my face. The rogue elephant will be euthanized this Friday after the last show. Speaking of youth, last night's snow storm has caused a rash of school closings - in the Quint City area. - Here we go! The following schools are closed: Abraham Lincoln Elementary, John F. Kennedy High School, Robert F. Kennedy High School, Martin Luther King Middle School, - Sharon Tate Elementary... - Where's our school? - Come on, come on! - Anton Cermak Tech, Medgar Evers Center for Creative Non-Violence, Archduke Franz Ferdinand School of Cosmetology, Huey Long High... All right! ...Alfred P. Southwick Elementary... - Score! - Yes! - What are you happy about? - Snow day! You're not going to school? Aw, I was gonna drink and fall asleep in the bathtub. Oh! Oh, that's the call! It's Pogo! Mohican needs me! Hang on, it might be Bolo. Our band's up for a gig. Your band's shit, get out of the way! Frank Murphy speaking. Oh. Hello. Yeah, hang on. Ha ha. It's your mom's boss. - Hi, Vivian. - Morning, Sue. How are things? Well, it's tough. Frank's depression is getting worse and... Fantastic. No deliveries for you today, thanks to the snow. Some idiot crashed a school bus off the Ferndale bridge. That's terrible. I know, just imagine the traffic. Hey, hey. It's over. I got mine. Of course, tomorrow you'll have to make up the deliveries you missed today and do your regular route. Oh. Right, sure. Well, either way, it'll be nice to have a day with the kids and Frank. Well, that's a positive outlook. Who's Frank? - He's my... - Don't care. Do you have to fucking chew so loud? Excuse me for having a resonant skull. Good news! I don't have to work after all! We've been handed a gift! A snow day we can spend together as a family. Don't you "agh" me. We are all gonna have fun together at the sled hill! - Yeah! - Sledding! You guys have a good time. I'm gonna curl up in an afghan and slowly cry myself into a nap. No, no. Uh-uh. You are going to leave this house and enjoy the day with your family. I can't. Pogo might call. Frank, I'm your biggest cheerleader, but it's been three weeks and Bob Pogo has not called yet. - And I doubt he'll call today. - Your cheerleading needs work, Sue. And, if by some miracle he does call, we have an answering machine. Come on, you've been a ghost around here since Christmas. Now snap out of it and be a part of this family again. - Okay, fine, I'll go sledding. - Good. Because your attitude is starting to affect the children. Just look at Bill. Come on, come on. What's wrong with you? Oh, it's beautiful. Murphy family fun day starts now! - Ah, Christ, Bill. Maybe he won't notice. - Hey, Frank! Hey! Looks like your boy dinged my dangler. I thought that was my job. You sexy thing. Excuse me. Vic? Sorry about your van. I'll pay for the damages. I can't take bread from my main man who lost his gig. I remember once I was out of work for a whole winter. Oh, wait, that was a vacation. Hawaii. Hey, Frank, you should go to Hawaii, man! It'll do you wonders. See a volcano, drink a volcano, be a volcano. Have fun in Hawaii, Frank! This isn't my snowmobile! He's such a kind soul. He's a drug addict, Sue. This day sucks knob already. I'll find a ride home. No fair. How come he can leave? Nobody's leaving! We just got here. Our fun is only starting. Let's hit that hill! Yay! Last one to the bottom is a rotten... Fuck! Ice-ball! Goddamn it! If you cross my path today, Murphy, I will scalp you, shit in the scalp, and slap it back on your head so everybody calls you "shit wig" and... - Hey! - Oh, man, don't hurt me! Yeah! You better run from me! I'm afraid of your wife, you out-of-work pussyfart! You see that, Sue? Everybody knows. I can't even intimidate children anymore. Don't let him bother you, Frank. He'll be in jail soon. We can still have fun. Smile a little! I'm trying, but I'm sick of all these busybodies looking at me like I have a fatal disease. "Oh, you poor man, how's the job hunt going?" "I don't know, lady, how's your saggy tits going?" It's all in your head. People love you. Come on, cheer up. Look around you... new fallen snow, you're with your family. I just know this is going to be a great day. Sue? Sue Murphy? Oh, fuck me! Hi, Ginny! Oh, hi, Frank. How's the job hunt going, you poor thing? Any nibbles? I should've died in Korea. Go play with Maureen, that's fun! Sorry about Frank. He hasn't been himself lately. That's all right. Failure can break down even the strongest man. How are you? Must have been a difficult Christmas after, you know, Greg abandoned you and the kids. Oh, no, we're back together! Greg took a Catholic cruise with Father Pat and came back a different man. We're going at it like newlyweds! Well, that's a dirty mouth. Mister, I'm gonna shut you up. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, hi, stud! Dear Lord, give me strength. Vagina, vagina, vagina! Hey, baby! Looking attractive! Christ, I hate it here. Bunch of kids. No chicks. Yeah, like you'd know what to do with one, you virgin! I know more than you! Are you forgetting about that fox at the lake I boned all last summer? How come we never met her? I told you she died of leukemia. Last time you said it was polio. Polio is a gateway disease to leukemia, stupid. Hey, look, Claire's here. Oh, she's so fine. Why don't you fuck her, Kevin? I blew my shot with her. She was just about to touch it when my stupid brother boner-blocked me. I'll never get laid. Hey, you know, I heard about this loose girl that goes to Roberto Clemente High. She asks you to come to her house for a free haircut. And then she fucks you. Well, that's something. What's her name? - I don't know. Haircut Girl? - That's no help! Oh, fuck it. I'm gonna go talk to Claire. - No, you're not. - Oh, yeah? Watch me. I will not die a virgin. Ow! My dick! Goddamn it, Maureen. Don't sit like that. It isn't ladylike. I don't want to be ladylike. Yes, you do. That's why you're joining the Honeybee Scouts, so you can play with normal kids instead of those two animals. I'm getting cleaned! I don't want to be a Honeybee Scout. I like rockets and computers. So marry an astronaut. But for now, go play with those girls down there doing girl stuff. Dad! - What're you guys doing? - Waking up fish. Cool! I give up. Christ, she's got bigger balls than Bill. Fight for my pleasure! That jerk ruins everything fun. We have to stand up to him this year. I just curl into a ball and sing "Hot Cross Buns." No! There's two of us and one of him. If we both fought him at the same time, there's no way he... Ow! That one had a turd in it! Oh, dear. ♪ Hot cross buns ♪ ♪ Hot cross buns ♪ - Hey, Claire. - Oh, hey. Cut it out! - Suckie, suckie, suckie. Suck it. - Cut it out! - You're doing good. - I know. I've been on ice before. I like your army jacket. Is it from a real dead guy? You're funny. Hey, you want to come back to my house and watch TV or something? - Really? - My mom punched a cop so she's gone for a few days. Uh... Yeah, sure. Whatever. Thank you so much! ♪ One a-penny ♪ ♪ Two a-penny ♪ ♪ Hot cross buns ♪ Leave us alone, Jimmy! Oh, one lucky punch and you think you're tough now? It wasn't lucky. It's such a blessing to have a husband who's so happy. He's always singing. - He loves to color my hair and do my... - Ginny, please stop. I'm really glad you and Greg are happy, but we are not doing well, okay? Frank's depressed right now. Maybe he should take a Pray Away cruise. We can barely afford to put gas in the car right now. It's just, he's really down in the dumps. - He's usually so full of life. - Well, that's one way of putting it. I just want my husband back. Maureen! Maureen! Them fish look like mama after she takes her arm vitamins. Maureen, get off the goddamn ice! You're gonna fall through! You forgot your pussy! No! Daddy, water! Daddy, water! It's okay, buddy, it's okay. Only your butt got wet, what the fuck is wrong with you? He almost drowned as a baby, you heartless whore! I did? Daddy, Billy kicked me in the eye a little. Jesus Christ! - Daddy, water! Daddy, water! - Frank? Sue, start the car, we're going to the hospital! You're grounded! Out of my way! My daughter's bleeding to death! Wait for me, Mommy! All right, my daughter needs a doctor right away! Listen, take a seat, fill this out and we'll get to you as soon as we can. Oh, no. No, no, no, no! I don't fill things out. You fill things out. She needs a doctor. Yeah, how about she waits like the rest of us? How about I take the brake off that thing and send you right out into the snow? My daughter needs a doctor right now! Daddy, wa-wa. Oh, for corn sakes. That boy has hypothermia. Yeah, he'll be fine. Here's a blanket. Ah! My foot! Relax, you fucking Mary! Get my daughter a doctor! I will have you thrown out of here, mister, if you don't get your emotions under control. My emotions? You mean my love for my own child? Let me tell you something... "Beatrice." I don't know what country you're from, but I didn't die for five minutes on a Korean battlefield to come home and be disrespected by a woman like you. You think because I'm unemployed, you can just shove me and my family to the back of the line? Well, not on my watch! If you don't get her a doctor right now, before all these other low-life pieces of shit, then I will follow you to whatever home for dried-up old hags you live in, slap the cat food out of your mouth, grab you by your camel hump and put you through that fucking wall! Oh, boy. - There's our hero. - Wha... - What happened? - You passed out. And then everybody in the waiting room started clapping. Well, the main thing is you're all right and Maureen's gonna be fine. Daddy, I'm a pirate! Oh, for Christ sakes, Maureen, girls can't be pirates! You're back! Dad, it's so cool when you scream at other people. My little girl's eye is more important than some crazy old man's foot. - He's fine! - He died, Dad. Well, he should have spoke up! Squeaky wheel! You're my squeaky wheel. And you were magnificent. Sometimes a man's got to do what a man does. And a man feeds his family! I'm taking you all to dinner! - Yeah! - All right! Frank, a restaurant? Isn't that a little extravagant right now? Oh, we're fine, Sue. This might be the adrenaline shot to the heart speaking, but I feel great again! - Ooh, can we eat there? - No, that's a titty bar now, Bill. Your old man is gonna take you to the fanciest place in town. And so, you know, I had nothing better to do, TV was on the fritz, so I figured, yeah, why not? I might as well get married. It's funny when you pretend you hate each other. Tell us the real story. - It was such a lovely summer day... - I'll take this whenever you're ready. - Thank you. - Your father looked so handsome. Grampa Joe walked me down the aisle and I wore my mother's dress, little Cindy was the flower girl, Monsignor Kreger married us. - Who? - He's Father Pat's father. Long story. And of course I didn't know then that you three angels were coming. But I looked at your father - and I'll never forget... - Excuse me, miss? Miss? - Yes, sir? - What's this? Three Plantation Dogs, an Uncle Tom Turkey Platter, White Meat Supreme, Two Clucks Clams... Okay, you charged us for eight drinks. There's only five of us. - Refills are free. - Oh, yes, they used to be, but we changed our policy a few years back. Well, I wasn't notified. You should've put that in writing. Oh, we did, sir. It's on the wall, on the table, and from what I've been told, it's facing you when you use the urinal. Well, I didn't come here to read, I came here to eat! Now, take these off of my check, you bunch of chiselers! Oh, oh, oh. I understand. If you're having a difficult time right now, we have an "indigent can." It's near the register. - I'm no charity case. - Oh, of course not, you're a human being. But between you and me, we throw the extra food in the trash every night, so if you get here before midnight, you won't have to fight the other vagrants for it. Daddy, do we have to eat garbage? Nobody's eating garbage, princess! Now, let me tell you something, lady... How dare you insinuate my husband can't pay! - Sue, butt out. - He can pay for this! - I can? - Open your wallet. You've got it. Oh. Goddamn right I have it! Here! We're leaving, and we will never drink your overpriced "Runaway Root Beers" again. But here's a nice tip because you gave us very good service. Where did that money come from? - Just be glad I had it. - Thank you. It's okay. We're a team. What the hell are we gonna do? I know one thing. We're gonna put on a brave face. It's best that the kids don't know how bad things are right now. We... are... fucked. Ooh, it's colder in here than it is outside. Okay, Kevin, I'm coming in now! I'm not doing anything! One new message. Frank, it's Bob Pogo. We used to work together at Mohican... Airways. It's an airline... down at the airport. Aw, shit, you know who I am! Here's the thing... - Is somebody there? - Jesus, Dolores, hang up the extension! You don't have to bite my head off. I'm sorry, dear. Don't cry. - So, Frank... - Apology accepted. For God's sakes, you're the only woman for me, now hang up the fucking phone! Listen, your skills are missed around here, Frank. I need you. Oh, my God. So, how about you come see me at the airport tomorrow? It'll be great to have you back. Yes! Yes! Oh, God, yes! All right, Frank. ♪ Mohican Airways ♪ ♪ Our flaming arrows are back ♪ ♪ With friendly cheerful service on the attack ♪ ♪ From Erie's glowing shores ♪ ♪ To the peaks of Syracuse ♪ ♪ We'll fly chiefs, braves, and squaws ♪ ♪ And the tiniest papoose ♪ ♪ The smoke signals never lie ♪ ♪ We are ready to fly ♪ ♪ Mohican Airways ♪ ♪ Your family in the sky ♪ We must break free from the petty politics of the past. America is a nation of believers that is being led by a group of censors, critics and cynics. All of the people telling you, "You can't have the country you want," are the same people that wouldn't stand... I mean, they said, "Trump doesn't have a chance of being here tonight." Oh, we love defeating those people, don't we? Don't we love defeating them? To all Americans tonight, I make this promise. We will make America safe again. We will make America strong again. And we will make America great again! God bless you and good night! I love you. My name is Roger Stone, and I'm an agent provocateur. Stone's Rules are things that I have learned in life that I seek to pass on to others who may want to be in the same business that I'm in. Or, actually, any business, 'cause they are fully applicable. So, for example, a Stone's Rule: "It is better to be infamous than never be famous at all." Stone's Rule. One man's dirty trick is another man's political, civic action. Everything I do, everything I've done, has been legal. But politics ain't beanbag and losers don't legislate. The truth will be suppressed no longer. Lock her up! Lock her up! Well, Roger has a really rough reputation. They talk about "dirty trickster" and lots of other things, but I've known him for a long time, and he's actually a quality guy. He's a nice guy. Just a few descriptions of you here: "a state-of-the-art sleazeball," "a little rat," "an actor who likes to assume poses." I believe in winning. I believe in doing whatever is necessary to win, short of breaking the law. In the world of political consulting, there are a number of rogues. But there's... There's really nobody quite like Roger Stone. Roger is the sinister Forrest Gump of American politics. He's not just this simpleminded guy, but this Machiavellian, almost crazy guy who shows up at every key moment in recent American history. Roger has a great understanding of the media. He understands politics and he understands politicians. And he always likes to take on somebody that at least has a good chance of winning, and sometimes it doesn't work out. He's had some people that I said, "What are you doing with these people?" But, you know... But he loves it and he loves the game. He has fun with it, and he's very good at it. Roger Stone created Donald Trump as a political figure. There is no doubt that in tone, in affect, in profile, the Trump candidacy was a pure Roger Stone production. When Mexico sends its people... They're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime, they're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people. Whereas the rest of us looked at Trump and saw someone who was impossibly vulgar and impolite, Roger looked at him and said, "You know, this is someone who voters might like." I mean, Roger actually gets democracy in a way, I think most people who cover politics don't. You know, democracy is the process of appealing to the majority. My name's Donald Trump, and I'm the largest real estate developer in New York. I own buildings all over the place, model agencies, the Miss Universe pageant. But it wasn't always so easy. About 13 years ago, I was billions of dollars in debt. But I fought back and I won, big league. Now my company is bigger than it ever was and I'm having more fun than I ever had. Hello, everybody. Fifteen seasons of The Apprentice not only makes him a smooth television performer, but think of the way he looked. High-backed chair, perfectly lit, great makeup, great hair, decisive, making decisions, running the show. He looks presidential. Do you think voters, non-sophisticates, make a difference between entertainment and politics? Politics is show business for ugly people. Roger always wanted me to run for president. And over the years, every time a presidential race came up, he always wanted me to run. And I just didn't have interest at that time. And nor was the country in trouble like it is today. The American Dream is dead. Bring it back! But if I get elected president, I will bring it back. Bigger and better and stronger than ever before. # Cowardice - Are you serious? # Apologies for freedom - I can't handle this! # When freedom rings - Answer the call! # On your feet - Stand up tall! # Freedom's on our shoulders - USA! # Enemies of freedom # Face the music # Come on, boys Take 'em down! # President Donald Trump knows how To make America great # Deal from strength Or get crushed every time It's really great to be here in Cleveland, 2016. A lot of beautiful people here. 1776! # Over here - USA! # Over there -USA! # O, say, can you see It's not so easy # But we have to stand up tall And answer freedom's call I have never been more excited about a presidential campaign. I have never seen a grassroots uprising. This is not the Republicans versus the Democrats. That's right. This is the elites of the Republican and Democratic Party who have driven this country into the ditch versus Donald J. Trump and the rest of America. I thank you for your support. We are on the verge of making America great again. Thank you. How are you doing? Good. Take a picture with my son? - Yes. How are ya? And if you decide to run for president in, like, 2039, look me up. I will. I understand how fame works. You know, the four stages of fame. It's like, "Who is Roger Stone?" "Get me Roger Stone." "Get me a Roger Stone type." "Who is Roger Stone?" A mock election was planned in my elementary school. And I was for John F. Kennedy because my parents were Catholic, and I thought, although they were Republicans, they had a certain sympathy for Kennedy. But also because Kennedy's hair was so much better than Nixon's hair. And, therefore, I went to the cafeteria and as each kid would go through the cafeteria line with their tray, I would tell them, "You know, Nixon has proposed having school on Saturdays." Well, then the mock election was held, and to the surprise of the local newspaper, Democrat John Kennedy swept this mock election. For the first time ever, I understood the value of disinformation. Of course, I've never practiced it since then. We Republicans seek a government that attends to its inherent responsibilities, encouraging a free and a competitive economy, and enforcing law and order. My first Republican National Convention was 1964. I was 12 years old. The woman who lived next door to me, she gave me a copy of a book, The Conscience of a Conservative by Barry Goldwater. And I devoured this book in, you know, a day. It was at that moment that I knew what I wanted to do. I no longer wanted to be an actor. I now wanted to be in politics. Little did I know how similar they are. I became a zealot. I had a Goldwater sticker on my bicycle. I wore Goldwater buttons. I wore a Goldwater button two weeks after the election was over. That's how defiant I was. I met Roger in college. He was really a total prodigy, in terms of his political ability. He was talking grown men back home into running for office, electing them. And then we would sit in our dorm room and they would call Roger for political advice as to how they should vote on key issues. His mother once said, "You're not a Catholic. Your religion is the Republican Party and your god is Richard Nixon." Bart Porter asked him, you know, if he'd be interested in coming to the Nixon campaign, so Roger took time off of school to go join the campaign. This is central headquarters for the Re-Elect Nixon Campaign. The White House. But for the sake of appearances, the Re-Elect Nixon headquarters, in name, is one block up Pennsylvania Avenue. The Committee to Re-Elect the President was unlike any campaign that I'd been in. It didn't look like your typical political headquarters. It had a very hushed, corporate quality to it. Porter called me into his office and said, "We want you to go to New Hampshire, and we want you to give this contribution to Pete McCloskey, who's running for the Republican nomination, challenging Nixon from the left, in the name of the Young Socialist Alliance." I got an enormous mason jar, filled it with pennies and nickels and dimes and quarters. I brought it to the McCloskey headquarters. I said, "Hi, I'm from the Young Socialist Alliance. I wanna donate this, and I need a receipt." They were so dumb, they gave me one. The idea was to give the receipt to the Manchester Union Leader, the largest newspaper in New Hampshire, as a way of discrediting McCloskey. A perfect example of a dirty trick that had no purpose and no effect, but the Nixon people thought it was great. I never heard another word about it... until an investigator from the Senate Watergate Committee knocked on my door. We have a mystery story out of Washington. Five people have been arrested and charged with breaking into the headquarters of the Democratic National Committee in the middle of the night. The Democratic National Committee is located in the Watergate office building. I welcome this kind of examination, because people have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook. I've earned everything I've got. I was the youngest person to go to the Watergate grand jury. During the Senate Watergate Committee hearings, this enormous chart was put up, in which everyone who received money from this secret fund was put on the wall. And it said, "Gordon Liddy, McCord, Segretti." And then way down at the bottom, it said "Stone." I paid $100 to Mr. Roger Stone on one occasion. My parents called me on the phone. They were mortified. I thought it was pretty cool. To leave office before my term is completed is abhorrent to every instinct in my body. But as president, I must put the interests of America first. Therefore, I shall resign the presidency effective at noon tomorrow. I was a Watergate figure at 19 years old. I mean, at the time, I was scared shitless. It was very hard to find work. We used to have these buttons that said "hire a Watergate vet." So this is the Batcave. This is "the Factory," as we call it. This is where I tape my Saturday radio shows. It is also the repository of probably the world's largest collection of Nixon memorabilia. The 1962 campaign for governor. Uh, a rally that I actually attended. A head shot poster of the day. This is protesting Nixon's historic trip to China. Here you have the first and second generation Nixon bongs. This is among my most prized possessions. Roger Stone does occasional political chores for Nixon. One such chore, to organize dinners of journalists at Nixon's New Jersey home. I was the assigned liaison between the Reagan campaign and former President Nixon, transmitting memos back and forth. It was not until his post-presidency that we became close friends. He had been through a lot, obviously, but I think he was just as resilient as ever. His greatest single quality is resilience. And that's the purpose of my tattoo. It's not an ideological statement. It's a reminder that in life, when you get knocked down, you have to get up off the canvas and keep pushing, get back in the game. That's the story of Nixon. A man is not finished when he is defeated. He's only finished when he quits. The Nixon tattoo is really all you need to know about Roger. Because he thinks Nixon's approach to politics, the toughness, the win-at-all-costs mentality, that's what Roger reflects. Delegates to the Young Republicans Convention in Memphis have chosen as their chairman a conservative with a Watergate past. Watergate dominated this convention because the Republican Party's important youth arm was about to be taken over by Roger Stone, a 25-year-old political operative who was deeply involved in the 1972 Nixon "dirty tricks" campaign. They embellished what was a 20-year-old kid's role into being the mastermind of Watergate. Roger saw the opportunity to build a reputation off of being viewed as that politically significant. Opponents of Stone contend that his election is part of a move by conservative activists to take over the Republican Party. When we elected Roger, we moved the Republican Party in a more ideological direction. Up until that point, it was straddling the old Republican establishment and the new conservative movement that was started in Barry Goldwater days. We built on that, and I think when Roger was elected chairman of the Young Republicans, you know, that was the piece that finalized everything. For many years, the Republican Party was associated with this sort of good guy, Eisenhower earnestness. What happened with the new right was there was a new generation of people who said, "You know what? We're gonna fight dirty and we're gonna win." Among the revolutionary changes in American politics the past few years has been the rise of the political action committees, called PACs, fund-raising groups for special interests. NCPAC, the National Conservative Political Action Committee based in Virginia, rich in money, and dedicated to doing in the nation's liberals. Even, its director Terry Dolan says, if that means using the politics of fear. I don't think there's anything wrong with fear. I met Terry Dolan when we were teenage Republicans together in Connecticut. When we got married, Terry was our best man. But more than that, he actually ended up moving in with us. We used to refer to him as "the child." It was on our living room floor that NCPAC was born. NCPAC, the National Conservative Political Action Committee, is transformative in the sense that we really pioneered negative campaign advertising in massive doses to win elections. Up to that time, it really hadn't been done. I came to Washington for the Wall Street Journal in, um, the very end of 1983. And Roger was already kind of a legend by then, kind of a dark legend, because of the negative ads that he and NCPAC had run. So people thought of him as kind of a wizard behind the scenes. I remember meeting him on the street and thinking, "Wow, that's Roger Stone." Birch Bayh telling us he's fighting inflation. The price tag on that baloney is $46 billion. Because if Bayh wins, you lose. The story of NCPAC is that after Watergate, there were campaign finance reforms to try to control the corruption in spending on politics. So what the Republicans did was, they figured out a way around the new rules. The focus of NCPAC was to use all the tools of a campaign, but instead of having a candidate, to use it through a PAC. We could only give a Senate campaign, in a direct financial transfer of $5,000. But the loophole was we could advertise on behalf of a candidate, without their cooperation or coordination, an unlimited amount. And that's why NCPAC was successful. Despite the setback, The team will tangle With sledge once again. But this time, they'll head North to untapped. And unclaimed grounds. This would be A cool spot. I'm gonna mark This spot right here. It might be a place To go do a dive. So far what I've seen from my Bottom imager is some areas. Where it looks like there Could be some of that gravel. That I've been looking For the whole time I've been out here. I want to go down and see. If it's actually What I think it is. That looks like Exposed bedrock there. But the deeper waters Present greater risks. Everything's more difficult. When you're around Like 30 feet of water. You're on the edge of the first And second atmospheres. Then you have to deal With the possibility. Of, like, nitrogen narcosis. And the bends And that kind of thing. Say there's like 5-ounce-an-hour gold. At 45-feet out of sledge Island, Then I want to dive it. So if I'm doing deeper dives, Then there is that danger Factor. Where you could get bent. And if you get bent Or something like that, You may or may not be able To get back to town. If there's an accident, And you're. All right. I'm headed down. I don't know what I'm coming down on. Kind of murky, And I'm pretty deep here. All right. Weird. It's like a field of loose Gravel and small stones. I don't know what it is. From the side of the island, I don't know. You're about 34-feet now. Copy that. I never forget How dangerous gold mining is. In pursuit of Our objective... gold... We forget how dangerous What we're doing is. When I'm on zeke's boat, I'm terrified for zeke. He's a crazy diver, He works really hard, And that could definitely, Like, enhance the impact. The pressure that depth Has on you. I mean, this looks like The kind of place you see gold. So I'm just digging A long trench. Through the gravel And the pebbles. He needs to be Excruciatingly careful. About the amount of time He spends down there. He could really hurt himself At that depth. Hey, zeke, we're at 35 feet right now. Copy that. Really? Really. Just be careful. I'm seeing hardpan, Like I wanted. But there's not even A speck of gold on it. Well, let's go somewhere Else more interesting. Yeah. Roger. Whoa, boy, is this... It's a gold worm. But I don't know if they Necessarily correlate exactly. To there being A lot of gold. It would be really Nice to see. Just a little flake Of gold, you know? Are we getting deeper? Yes. After 2 hours At 37-feet... Hey, you doing okay? The first stages Of nitrogen narcosis. Are setting in. Dangerous. Zeke, that's way too. You need To get out of there. So zeke has two choices, He can call it quits Or get bent. If there's nothing out there, It's gonna be A huge disappointment. But I'm not gonna give up. 90 miles east of nome... Shawn pomrenke is trying To strike gold. At a remote spot of his own. We made great time. Like glass out here. And he's not about To let any previous mishaps. Hold him back. I think this hunting for Treasure at the bluff. Is gonna Finally pay off. Everybody's always wondering. Why I get more gold Than everybody else. It's because I work A hell of a lot harder. Than they do. This summer... I know there's a Pile of gold down there. Mr. Gold has gambled On the bluff... Puddles and puddles Of gold. A coastal trench nearly A 100 miles east of town... There it is Right there. Where he's convinced An untapped hot spot. Could set off The next alaskan gold rush. But so far, instead of gold, It's only yielded Frustration... Damn it! I wanted to go. Here we are. Another day. And he's feeling The heat from dad. A couple hundred thousand bucks In the bluff, And we ain't got no gold Out of it yet. With each round trip to The bluff costing thousands... Let's go ahead and get That anchor set. Shawn can't afford To come up empty again. Anchors away! It's the only miles I can hike today underwater. So today, he's hoping to Get maximum mobility underwater. By trying something new... Harnessing a mini-dredge And oxygen supply to his back. Hopefully, we didn't come out Here, spend all this time. And money for nothing. If there's gold on the claim, I'm gonna know about it today. On the bottom. Big boulders. Big boulders. Copy? Okay, I got you. Copy. How's the visibility? Good. Just go ahead And cut me loose. Okay, shawn, I've cut you loose. That's good. I'm working my way over here. There's a lot. I cut the dredge loose From the pier. So the dredge can go away From this big boat. And we can stay on anchor And safe. And look how far he just Walked. He just walked 50, 80 feet. Free from any constraints, Shawn marches along the Seafloor At depths of over 25 feet. Not seeing anything here. Head to the south, See what I can find. Yeah, copy that. Didn't see once piece of gold In that hole. Am I headed In the right direction? You need to turn right. Turn right. Look where he is. He's way out there. He's on his own. I don't know. It's looking like. All the right materials, Nice heavy material, But there ain't Anything here. Now I'm starting to get Worried. I can't see over here. 100 miles East of nome. At the bluff... Shawn pomrenke's Pump motor has run out of gas. And within seconds, mr. Gold Will be out of air. Here he comes. We ran out of gas. Umbilical's All twisted up. Oof. Out of breath. That was a lot Of hard work that time. When Just doesn't go right. When things are breaking And there's no gold, It gets stressful. As soon as that pump died, I could tell the air pressure. Was dropping And I was losing air. It was off. I feel a lot of pressure Right now. I mean, building a legacy For the pomrenkes. Is what it's all about. That's why I get out there And work as hard as I do. That's all that's On my mind right now. 70 miles northwest... I left my gun on my table. I love that gun. We got all the dredging. That's the more important Than my gun. The fighting Kellys Are rolling the dice, Going where many believe They'd wind up anyway... I've never River mined before. I've wanted to do this For a long time. Up a river. I know we're going up against A lot of unknowns today. And I know that It's gonna be a bitch. So far this season... I was wondering If it'd be a possibility. If I could get My family on your claim. I just don't think I want to Take a chance on you. Due to their Less than stellar reputation, The kellys have struggled To gain access to claims. Well, I haven't heard Any kind of good. From anybody on you guys. Okay, well, thank you. And even when they have... Seriously? It hasn't lasted long. We don't have Anywhere else to work. Could you imagine The old miners. Having to walk out here Back in the day? Good thing we have A truck and we drive. But now captain kris kelly. Has secured a deal To mine 80-miles inland. Through alaskan bat country On the kougarok river. This day's gonna be A good day. I got a buddy that says He's gonna put us on a claim. That's for sure good gold. But, like, it's a little bit Off the beaten path. Because there's no Easy gold left out there. River mining will be A new experience for the Kellys. Well, We're almost here. And the first challenge... Getting to the river. That's where We are on this road. Where's the claim? The claim is right here. You see these Little strips here? - Those are roads. - I'm pretty sure they're roads. - Me. - Man. My buddy said That we're gonna find. A trail already marked And it's how he gets there. What's the marked the trail, What's it say? It doesn't say anything. It's just a trail in the middle. Of nowhere on the side Of the road in about this area. How's it marked, though? It's not marked. It's just a trail. You said it was just marked. A marked trail. It's a marked trail. It's a trail. So we're going through The middle of bum. The only trail there. Those are a lot Of mights and maybes. We might find a trail. It may be marked. There's supposed To be a path. When they find The access point to the claim, They'll have to Bring in a dredge. Built specifically To launch from riverbanks, One that brad's commandeered For the mission. You know what? We really should've came here One day of scouting. Without the boat And everything. It doesn't matter. It's here now. We need it here, Regardless of what we do. I know a few miners around Town, And my buddy let me use. His dredge. - Good, take it forward. - There we go. I bring a lot of Different things. You know, always trying to Inspire the other family Member. That's what We try and do. You know, maybe we do it In an unorthodox way, But we're trying To inspire each other. To become better citizens, Better people overall. And probably better Gold dredgers. Now, hopefully, The river claim. Is only an atv ride away... find us the easiest Road down there. Or the kellys' plan Could be washed away. Growing up in the kellys' House, You know, we had good times And we had bad times. But what makes a family. Is if they stick together Through thick and thin. You know, my brother's Always been with me. We're a great team, Great combination. - Whoo! - Batman and robin. You know, he's robin, of Course. Whoo, yeah! You know, my dad Doesn't expect me to succeed. And I just need to prove There's money here, And this is all gonna work out. They just need To trust me a little bit. Maybe that's not a path. There's the path. Get on that. Hey, Stop for a second. - Right here? - Yeah. Okay, this is it. All the what up there, A couple of miles. And all the way down there, One or two miles. J.J., I really love Your adventures, man, But you know this one's In the middle of nowhere. Even when you're at the bottom, There's only way place to go. And that's up. So I can't do any worse Than from right here. It's only gonna get better. I kind of, you know, Expecting to show up here, We drive the bank, And we jump right in the water. We're gonna make this River mining thing work. One way or another. 80 miles Northwest of nome... this is all Gonna be easy today. Let's just get it over there And start making some money. Despite being knocked down Repeatedly this season, The kellys are off the mat... - we made it. - But now their dredge. Is positioned on the banks Of the kougarok river. Gold is really what We're supposed to be making, And I'm not making a huge Amount Of gold for my family. Thanks for Flying the colors. The flag's up. Everything's going good. I don't have the opportunity To get big gold, Not until we increase Our reputation in this town. Hey-ho! We got to show we can go Anywhere we need to. And we're willing to do Anything we need to. And that we're not Gonna give up. - You ready? - Go. There it goes, Don't stop, pull! Okay, just calm down, Calm down. I don't have Rubber boots on. Well, neither do I. Washed down from Volcanic mountaintops, Gold often collects where There's a change in river flow, Including bends And bedrock formations. - Okay, get the boat set up. - Get the hose out. This is how it works, okay? I tell you what to do, You do it. , you know what? No respect around here. That's why we're not Making big gold right now. I don't really now How to river mine. Can't be that much Different than the ocean. Suck it all up. The kougarok river Can Reach depths of 6 to 8 feet. But at this river bend, Kris will brave depths of... Less than three. Wearing a wave belt when he's In The water that's 2 feet deep. Just get down and dive! Okay, I'm sorry, But. How's it looking Over there? It looks good, Lots of red sand. I want the gold Not the garnet. Keep going, jay, You're going good. It could be A good day after all. Really fine gold here. Okay, Keep sucking it up. I got to say, jay, That is the fastest You've ever found gold. Dude, I'm not even trying, And there's gold. I told you! I told you! It's gold, it's gold, it's Gold! Okay, not gonna lie, We didn't exactly know. Where to go in the beginning. But it turned out great. I think all of our hard work Is gonna pay off. I told you! I told you it was good here! 25 miles west of nome. Off sledge island... - hey, zeke, you copy? - Yes, I copy. I'm gonna crawl down The hose here. After narrowly Escaping the bends, Zeke tenhoff is Down under once again, This time in shallower waters. It would be really encouraging. Just to see one little Micro flyspeck of gold. It's been a while Since I've seen one. But the team is still Coming up empty handed. I don't want to think Of what's gonna happen. If we don't succeed In making money at all. This is really Our very last chance. To make a future for ourselves. What is this place? Good god. I can see some rocks down here, A lot of big old boulders. Well, um, I mean I think we Just have to keep looking, man. Well, um, looks like there's Some pockets of gravel. In between some of these rocks I haven't tried dredging on. Where is the gold? I miss gold so much. I didn't realize how Emotionally Dependent I am on gold. Kind of does look like It might be bedrock. So it's a bunch of boulders On top of bedrock. If there's gold here, We're just gonna have to. Keep hunting around Everywhere to find it. You know, I think I just want to lift up. One of these boulders and see Maybe underneath the boulder, It has, like, Compressed some minerals. Gold likes to travel, But gold gets stuck with Other heavies pretty easily. So we're thinking All we have to do. Is jack up one of these Boulders. And that might give us a clue On where the gold deposits are. So we got to boulder here, But I got to get some straps Around the boulder. Zeke will try To float the massive stone. Using straps and an air bag. I don't do a lot of Boulder floating so I don't know How this is gonna go down. All right, Just don't be under the boulder. When you lift it. But hoisting A 200-pound rock 35 feet down. In the bering sea Is easier said than done. Is that Enough slack? Yes. I think I'm gonna try to lift On it and see what happens. Whoa. Off the coast Of remote sledge island... I think I'm gonna try to Lift on it and see what Happens. Zeke tenhoff Is trying to pull. A 200-pound boulder from The depths of the bering sea. Whoop. Whoa. I see it. There it is. Are you okay? Well, I just Lost a float bag. Looks like you didn't Strap it on good enough. Um, well, I'm just gonna Look under this boulder. Because I managed To flip it over. It's starting to look A little black. So that's almost A little bit compelling. Yeah, if zeke can Get past this, like, Jumble of boulders down There... And there's got to Be something, Something heavy Underneath the boulder. Hey, zeke, you, You seeing anything down there? I kind of just think I'm Seeing more bedrock down here. And there isn't really a layer That has any gold on it, You know what I'm saying? Yeah, no, I get it. I think we've done All we can do on this side. I mean, I'm just... I'm not Seeing any heavy minerals. Zeke finally found some Bedrock, Which, you know, Could be a potential place. For gold to hang out, But the bedrock Is just completely clean. Theres no minerals or anything On it and definitely no gold. I think on this side Of the island, All we're gonna find Is rock, dude. Just rock after rock. Okay. Roger. Neither zeke nor I Have the financial means. To just spend this season Looking for new ground. At some point, if we don't Find what we're looking for, We're gonna have to know When to throw in the towel. With pinpointed areas Coming up dry, The partnership is Running out of options. And will need a new plan. If they hope to continue Their hunt at sledge. Rock and rock And rock and rock. If you don't find any gold, You can't call yourself a Miner. So if I can't find Anything new, Then there's no reason To keep doing this. 125 miles east... Right now it's gonna tell us Whether we've wasted our time. Or if we've made a good Decision And we're gonna get rich. Fuel is back in the air pump. And shawn is ready once more... To hunt for elusive gold At the bluff. I got a reputation to uphold. I come out here and fail, I'm gonna look like a fool. I don't like failing. Each expedition At the bluff costs thousands. And if shawn fails again, His plan for the empire Will be on it's last leg. I'm here because I have a feeling. That there's a lot of gold Here. I just have a feeling. My gut tells me That I'm gonna find. Some nice big chunks Of gold today. I mean, I've been to the bluff Multiple times and failed. But every time you go back, You're hoping You're gonna succeed. You got to always stay Positive. Ooh, here we go. Do or die. Here we go. I think we're gonna find Something really, Really good down here. Can you copy up on top? Anybody copy? Come again? Just making sure We can communicate. How am I looking? I should be headed Right towards the beach. Yeah, you're about 20 to 40 Feet Past where you were before. Far from the boat, Shawn is truly on his own. Come on, shawn. Here's a big boulder. It's a big, big rock. I like big rocks. Here we go. Come on, keep it up. Come on, let me see it. I've been in nome About five years. It was my dad's Get-rich-quick idea. So we're sitting in hawaii. Everything was cool In my happy little life, And I had my own Painting company. He's like, "Yeah, We just got to pump dirt." And we'll get rich, And we'll come back here, "And we only have to work Six months a year." At that point, I was already. A master painter Living a great life. So looking back, you have To be very selective. On who you get ideas from. 100 miles east of nome... Here's a big boulder. Determined to keep His gold empire from failing, Shawn pomrenke is going For broke at the bluff. Here I'm seeing Some much better color. Here already. Come on, shawn. Prior dives At the remote location. Have come up empty. But if shawn can strike Pay dirt, He'll prove to his dad that He still has a nose for gold. Here we go. Come on. Keep it up. Come on. Let me see it. Let me see it. Yeah! Ooh, here we go, boys. Here we go. Right there. Right there. Ooh, right there. Gold here, boys. There's gold here. Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Killing it. I'll mark that A new wake point. It'll be wake point 5-1. Marking now. So exciting, Treasure hunting. I think I'm gonna Start heading out... This is the coolest Thing ever! It is beautiful. We're in the gold, buddy. It is pouring up The hose right now. Whoo! I'm right... First big piece! First big piece. It just went up the hose. After empty searches. And near-death dives. And with the weight Of the pomrenke empire. On his shoulders... Mr. Gold strikes again. Shawn Has finally found gold. Where his dad always Doubted he would. Whoo! I've dealt with setbacks My whole life. And, you know, You don't give up. You just keep pushing forward. Yeah, buddy! Yeah, buddy! Hard work pays off. Yeah! Flip that flap up, and let's See what it looks like. Look at that! Yeah! Look at that nugget! - Wow! - -holy. That's a big Nugget there. Now for the pomrenke name, The sky is the limit. There's a lot of gold Off this ground. There's gold at the bluff. So dad can't give Me anymore. 100 miles west, Back in nome... it's important This goes well today. Let me just do The ceremonial scoop. After their miraculous haul On the river... Hopefully, big gold Right off the bat. It's time for the kellys' First cleanup of the season. Whoa! - Look at that. - Whoa! Do you see that? Today we're gonna Clean up the river gold. Yeah, the gold's Looking very clean. That's awesome. This is gonna prove I'm great at running things. And increase our reputation In this town. I'm just gonna pour it, You guys count off the numbers. It's gonna make me Feel good. - One. - That's one. That's two. Three. 3.812. That's awesome! Yeah, no, it's good. 3.8 ounces Is worth nearly $5,000. This is what Team kris gets you. Team kris gold. You guys have to see now That I'm a great captain. And things are gonna Go well underneath me. We're not here to go On an adventure. We're not here To have a great time. We're just here to make money. It's all about success. I don't mind going 75 to 150 miles a day. I think this is proof that We need to keep going back. Captain kris kelly Finally notches a success. Let's get the boat Ready. And things are looking up For the kellys. We're gonna make 100 ounces In the river this season. Everybody's on my team now. We're gonna go back there And kill it. I packed the trailer. So we can get the quad In the back-up. - My god. - -what the I got too many bills to pay. You can't do this. You said you'd use it Before for one day. I got to work. I got to make a living, too. I need it back down there. Gearing up this morning, Getting ready to hit The river again, And what happens? My dad's friend comes along. That he's borrowing The boat from. So now I'm back at square one. I don't have a boat To go river mining with. I've got a claim that we know There's gold at. And we just can't get it again. Okay, we'll meet You down there. We'll put it Back in there. I don't want to go down a bad Road with you guys. Don't worry, We'll bring it right back. Without a dredge Built Specifically for river Mining... We're right behind You. The promising claim. Is not an option, And once again, Captain kris is forced to go Back to the drawing board. That means we're not Working tomorrow. That's what that means. It pisses me off, man. That's life. Man, I can't win. It just seems like I can't stop. From getting screwed over On a daily basis. Under the command Of captain kris, The kellys have secured Second place on the scoreboard. Today is our first Day of mining. Go find us Lots of gold, zeke! It's gonna be fun. You need to come up Immediately. Now I'm starting To get worried. I can't see over here. Take my hand, zeke! I am a miner! [buzzes] [faint infant crying] [crying continues] [London] Chip! I can't. It won't stop crying. - She. She won't stop crying. - Yes, "she." I'm not cut out for this. We made a huge mistake. London, it's our first time. Okay? - It's picking up on your an-- - [crying continues] - She's picking up on our anxiety. - I am so sick of sick! - Okay. - Please just get this off me. - Okay. Lift. - Don't get it on my hair. Yeah. I won't, I won't, I won't. There you go. There you go. Okay. We got it off. There we go. - And my shorts. - Okay, okay, okay. Okay. - Oh, God. - All right. We got this. - Gross. - There we go. There we go. Yeah. There we go, baby. There we-- [crying continues] - Nice, you guys. - [infant screams] [Wren] I can't. We work together. You talk to her. Sounds like date night didn't go so well. No. You okay? Yeah. Yeah, I just feel like the walls are closing in a little bit. Yeah. I know what you mean. I just- - I get this urge. It just flares up, you know, like I wanna get the hell out of here. We really need to get a place of our own, huh? [Chip grunts] I'll put a call into Topher first thing. He owes me. Well, he hasn't returned any of your other calls. Oh, it's a delicate thing. You know, he's probably waiting until they break ground on the hotel. Well, maybe you should go in there, you know, in person? - Yeah, sure. - I know you don't want to because of what happened with the store and everything. No, I'm glad that I got rid of the store. I mean, sure, I feel bad for the people who came to rely on it, but... I'm sorry, what do you mean by "everything"? Nothing, I just-- no, I meant that because everything changes so quickly in Venice, you know. - And I don't want you to be surprised. - It's only been a couple of months. Almost four. I wanna go back to the way we had it. Okay. - [bed squeaking] - [grunting] [theme music playing] ♪ Weaving the good life for you, sugar ♪ ♪ In every way ♪ [sighs] So, what can I do for you? Well, I really need to talk to Topher in person. - I called a bunch of times. - Yeah. He didn't know what it was about. The hotel. We had a deal. - Did you? - Yeah. I got the good people of Venice to support the hotel development. You remember. Come on, man. You were there. And in exchange, Topher was gonna... well, I think I was gonna get a house. [chuckles] A house? Topher promised you a house? Well, not in so-- I know that that's what he meant. Look, all you did was... placate a community pressure group. It was just PR. [faint chiming] You know what? Why don't we just call it an even ten thou and we won't darken each other's doors again? That's not gonna happen. Hey, I went to bat for you guys. Okay? I betrayed-- I upset a lot of good people who trusted me. It's not right to do that and get nothing in return. You owe me. That's not the information I have. I swayed them once. I could do it again. [phone chimes] I doubt it. You're no longer that guy. [whirs] [scooter horn beeps] - Hey, man. You're out of line. - That's all right, I know the boss. "Proletariat"? Oh, I get it, "Coffee for the people." Eight bucks. Rich people, I guess. - Who do we have to thank for that, Chip? - Karl Marx? You, man. They jacked up the rent on all the stores down here because of that hotel you made us think we wanted. Look, man, I lost my store too. Look, what do you want, Chip? - Just a coffee. - No. Your money's no good here. - Thanks, man. I appreciate it. - No, man. I don't want your business. All right, man. I'll... I'll think about it. You want change? I just wanna say a big thank you to those of you who came out to the funeral last Wednesday of my dog, Pinot. [stammers] It really meant a lot to me to have a lot of you there, especially so soon after the loss of my other dog, Noir. But that's not what I really wanna talk about this morning. No, I wanna talk about another best friend that I lost recently. He went out. And it was a surprise. And it hurt, you know, that it happened. And that he didn't tell me. And that he lied to me. It just really shook me up. He was my Eskimo. He got me sober. I just thought that we could tell each other the truth. But today, I'm trying to focus on the positives. I have this new business venture that I'm really excited about. And I'm just trying to be grateful. So thank you. I'm really happy to be here. [applause] All right, I think that's all we got time for. Unless someone has a burning desire? No? All righty, let's do the prayer. Man, I'm sorry to hear about the dogs. Really. - Condolences. - God... [all] ...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. No. Not the seat. Motherfucking... Aw, fuck off. [mutters] Motherfucking... I know it's rough, man. I get it, you know? He's your best friend and all, and you miss him like hell. But know this, he will never apologize to you. - And he will never say that you're right. - I appreciate the concern, George. I really do. It's funny. I always thought you didn't like me. Point is, you gotta stay strong. We can't enable. We gotta wait until the right time to let a person like that back in our life. [yelps] Oh! Shit! [mutters] Fuck. [knocking on door] - Hi! - Hey, man. What's up, man? Come on in, I was about to put a pot of coffee-- Oh, buddy, are you all right? You look a little torn up. Yeah. First time I've been in town and just-- kind of a lot of feelings and-- Like, a big hole's opened up. Yeah, I guess. You want some tape or something for that? Oh, yeah. No, if by "something" you mean a clean pair of pants? - I didn't realize we were winking. - Yeah, dude, we're winking. Oh! I have a pair of cargos that come with a ski cap. - Just some long pants, if you got those. - Yeah. Sure. Like drop-crotch slacks? Just the best-- whatever. It doesn't... [coffeemaker gurgling] Pants! - Thanks. - So, what's the what, man? Yeah, like I was saying, I just, you know-- It's the first time I've been back in the 'hood in a minute and it kind of... you know, to be honest, it feels like people are... trying to hold me responsible for something I did. Man, that is unfair. But, I mean, that's like, just like a people, isn't it? Like, they do that. Yeah, they do. And, you know, I'm just... I really just need somewhere to-- somewhere to stay. Oh, man. You should talk to my landlord. - Man, he's the most accommodating dude. - Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. He's always telling me he's got like, a line of people that he wants to get in here. You should get on line, Chip! He is a real coolio too. Like, I haven't paid rent in like, three or six different months. So, I mean, that's one thing. But, you should hurry, because he said that rents are gonna skyrocket soon because of the new hotel going. So-- Shit! Out! - What? - Fuck, man. I can't hang out with you. Why? Because of what you did, Chip! You sold out the whole population. - Aw, Cooler, come on, man. Not you, too? - No! - Of all people. - Dude, no. Your actions, Chip, they have causes, dude. And those causes, there's an effect. It's about causes and actions. ♪ Now when you see Some of the brothers doing good ♪ ♪ What do you say? ♪ ♪ Sock it to 'em, soul brother ♪ ♪ When they're trying to work their way ♪ ♪ Outta that old ghetto neighborhood ♪ ♪ Do it again ♪ ♪ Sock it to 'em, soul brother ♪ ♪Now, when they're fightin' their way To the top ♪ ♪ And make it through ♪ ♪ They ain't doing nothing, baby ♪ ♪ But making things A little bit easier for you ♪ ♪ So I'm gonna tell you right now What you're supposed to do ♪ ♪ Let me hear it ♪ ♪ Sock it to 'em, soul brother ♪ ♪ Do it again Come on with me ♪ - ♪ Sock it to 'em, soul brother ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ [Dennis] Hello? ♪ What I say? Soundin' good ♪ - ♪ Come on with me ♪ - ♪ Sock it to 'em, soul brother ♪ ♪ Oh! Come on, baby ♪ - ♪ Sock it to 'em, soul brother ♪ - Uh... - Hello? - You're late. - Sorry, I-- - Okay, let's just get started. - I have back-to-back sessions all day. - I have your mail. Put it on the shelf. So you said in your e-mail that you have a dance background, but you're just a bit out of shape. Right? Well, I haven't played as much paddle as I used to. That's not exercise. Lose the bag. So I'm gonna give you a beat. And you're gonna show me what I'm working with, okay? [upbeat music playing] Come on. Freestyle. ♪ Really don't give a fuck Who you cool with ♪ - "Freestyle"? - ♪ Went to school with, did the do with ♪ [music continues] ♪ The party's over here The party's over here ♪ ♪ The party's over here Not there, but here ♪ ♪ The party's over here The party's over here ♪ ♪ The party's over here Not there, but here ♪ ♪ The party's over here The party's over here ♪ ♪ The party's over here Not there, but here ♪ - ♪ The party's over-- ♪ - [music stops] Rosa? Sorry, I'm late. I-- Oh, I thought I'd booked a private session. - You're Bryan? - Yeah. We e-mailed. Okay. So, wait, who are you? Dennis. Yeah. I'm beneath you. I mean, I'm downstairs. I'm your neighbor. So I'll- - I'll see you around the neighborhood. [door latch clicks] ♪ That's what you get ♪ ♪ For gettin' outta bed ♪ ♪ You're such a tragic kid ♪ ♪ Aren't you glad you did? - You're really talented. - Yeah, talented. What's the story? Yes, I, too, would like to know. I don't have it all figured out, but it's about this girl after, like, an atomic war, and she has to learn how to survive on her own. Well, now that's depressing. - I think it's cool. - Depressing and cool. - So, what happens to her? - I was just gonna ask that. - She probably dies. - Now, that's cool. - No, that's depressing. - Oh, I give up. Excuse me. - (quietly): What's going on? - Christy, I can't do this. You should just take her home with you. No. I already have a daughter I screwed up. This one's yours. But it's so awkward. I have nothing in common with her. So what? She needs a home, she doesn't need a buddy. I know, but I really want her to like me. Then you shouldn't have signed up to be a mom. Hey, how about, how about you and Bonnie come live here and help me with her? We might have to take you up on that. Let's see how the banana bread goes. Oh, great. Now I don't know what you're talking about. Christy, this was a mistake. When people don't like me at first, they never like me. I don't have a chance with her. That's not true. I didn't like you at first. You didn't? Nope. I thought you were self-obsessed and spoiled and your teeth were so white it made me angry. But then I got to know you, and now I can't imagine my life without you in it. Now, go out there and keep talking to her until you find some way to connect. I'm sorry, I just can't. Do you want me to leave? I can call my caseworker. No. I want you to stay very much. I'm just so bad at this. I think you're doing okay. - Really? - (grunts) Did you hear what she said? She thinks I'm doing okay. I have never once heard that from my daughter. Hang in there. Hey, Violet, it's your mother. Just checking in, haven't heard from you in awhile. I thought maybe you and Luke might want to come over for dinner on Sunday, unless you broke up with him, in which case, bring the new guy. Love you, bye. Hey. What's going on here? Just chilling with my favorite tenant. (chuckles) Okay. Hi, Beverly. Mouse. You're still gonna wax me, right? Yeah. So, Jill, how's it going with your foster kid? (grunts) I'm sorry, what? That's teenager for "okay." Now, you see what happens when you... Oh, God, I do sound like that. (cell phone chimes) Yes! Thank you, God! You passed the evaluation? Close enough. I'm on probation! - Congratulations. - Wow. - Probation party! - What did you do to turn it around? A lot of things I'm ashamed of! Waitress, a round of hot water and lemon for my friends! Previously on "2 Broke Girls"... I am choosing to take this disaster as a sign, and while they're rebuilding this place I'm gonna go surprise Randy and try to rebuild us! Fine, use my car, but I'm going to be driving it. I'm coming with you. I finally got the gas pedal extension where I like it. I'll just call AAA. Cool. Later, hater. Wait, you're really leaving? Who leaves someone on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere? My friend, Sloppy Joe, has a one-engine plane. He might be able to fly y'all all the way to LA. Well, that's a wrap on the first day of filming here in Austin, Texas. So Randy's not in Los Angeles? He's in Texas? Wow, you're a bad stalker, Max. There's two things the Slop won't do. Alert the proper authorities of my flight pattern or step foot in Texas. I'll drop you here. When I agreed to follow you cross-country to chase your ex-boyfriend, I didn't realize I'd be thrown out of a plane, scavenging for my belongings and fighting a snake for my favorite pants. You can have them, sir! Ah! Found my toothbrush. Max, that's disgusting. Oh, you're right. This isn't mine. Ah, found a purse... Under this syringe. Anything in there? Uh... nah, pretty tapped out, which is too bad 'cause you could use a two-day heroin nap. I meant my bag. Look what else survived! Ah-ha! My Popchips! Only to meet an unfortunate end. Oh, no, Max, my wallet. Mm, yeah, I know. You've aged a lot since that license picture. No, it's gone. All of our cash and our credit cards were in there. What are we gonna do? I'm freaking out. Nah, nah, nah, calm down. Caroline will get us out of this. Oh, wait. You're Caroline. I'm calling the diner for help. Han... Caroline, we don't have a good connection, and not just because we're dueling Scorpios. Peek-a-boo! I see you! Oleg. All right, now do it with Barbara. Han, we had all of our belongings thrown out of a private plane. Caroline, you're cutting out. All I heard was "private plane." Brag much? No, we need to get to Texas, so can you please put $500 in my PayPal account? What? You have $500? Did I call you to gloat when I bought this snazzy new vest? I'm putting you on speaker. Private plane... Have... credit card... We lost her. Or maybe her butler snatched her phone from her. Oh, God. He hung up. Max, can we just go back to that terrible place we call home? That mountain lion is wearing my new blouse. And here she comes! Keep the tags on if you wanna return it. I'm calling the credit card company to send us new cards. They're used to hearing me cry. So is the unfortunate family that sat behind us at "Zootopia." If animals can all get along, so can we. Look, once we get our cards, we'll be on our way to Randy in Texas... and what was in this for me again? 5 1/2 near-death experiences? Hi, Visa. It's me, Caroline. My cards were stolen. I've seen backs of vans with better candy selections. This is a disgrace to the name Gas and Gobble. How do you even wake up in the morning? My alligator licks my face. Oh, my God, Max. Whoever stole our credit cards maxed them out. They spent the $1,500 we had left. No way. Someone just spent $1,500 on phone cards and cigarettes. His name was Caroline Channing. What? That's my name! Ah, you got a dude's name. Ugh, we were robbed. Police! Where! Max, I am tired and I'm hungry and I can't find a mirror, but I am sensing a disturbance in my hair. We have to go home! But we have to go to Texas. Randy needs me. He's saying it on his Snapchat story. Still on the movie set. Pretty lonely, so if anyone would respond to my Words With Friends request, I promise to let you win, and if you're ever in Texas... why? See? He's begging me to come there. But we have no money to get to Texas. Wrong. I've got $11 in this one and $32 in this one. Lefty's been holding back as per usual. So your 43 boob dollars are gonna get us to Texas? Don't rule out my roll of butt quarters. Sweaty but ready. All right, can y'all folks lock up? I got to make a riverboat before it takes off to New Orleans. My cousin Tim put a voodoo curse on me. I got to talk to him about removing it. Caroline, New Orleans is close to Texas. The Hamburglar says so on my McDonald's placemat, and he would never lie unless it's about stealing delicious hamburgers. I'm confused. Do you want hamburgers or do you wanna take that riverboat? Obviously, the dream scenario is both. Ah, thank you very much. Max, people have tickets. You have to pay to get on this... what I'm positive will be my sixth near-death experience. So bend over and unclench. We need those butt quarters. Who are you? My mother at a church carnival? Have your tickets ready, please. All we have to do is act like we belong. Do I at least get to have an adorable Southern accent? No accent. Well, I do declare that is mighty disappointing. Just follow my lead. It's time to touch strangers. Hey, you got a permit for those guns? Well, I say, you got a permit for that light-up yo-yo? I have a girlfriend. Keep walking, buster. Max, the riverboat doesn't get to New Orleans for two days and we have nowhere to sleep. Ooh, but there is a "Whittle Your Own Banjo" workshop at 5:00. I have whittle-to-no interest in that. Ooh, it says they have the loosest slots around. I guess the Darby sisters from my hometown are here. I did see a bunch of lounge chairs over by the swamp exhibit. I guess we could sleep there tonight, and then the next night, well, hopefully we'll be dead. Come on, red! Max, no! That's all of our money! No more bets. Oh, that is so stupid, and not cute stupid like when you thought Velcro grew in nature. And red is the winner. Well, rootin' tootin'! I always bet on red because my last name's Black, and that's ah-not been a winner. Okay, now that we've doubled our money, - maybe we should stop. - Come on, red! - No more bets. - No! I didn't even get to touch it before you lost it. Why do you hate having things? Red again. Just call me Al Roker 'cause I'm making it rain. Max, we're winning at something. Don't just stand there looking pretty, toots. Order daddy some wings. Oh, my God, I look pretty and I get to flag down a waitress. Waitress! I'll have a sarsaparilla and some wings for big daddy. Sophie's calling. Pfft, like I'm gonna get it. Well, Caroline's not answering. Executive decision. Horses can eat a bunch of pudding. My cousin from Chernobyl had a dog this size. He had three legs. My cousin, not the dog. Something good did come out of Chernobyl. Excuse me? How much do you charge for pictures with him? Oh, it depends. How nude do you want him? Ew. We mean for our kids... with the horse. I don't think the "ew" was necessary. You don't know what you're missing. I mean, we're just walking him for our friend. We'll give you $10 each. Sold to the woman who... "Doesn't" wanna see me naked. Come on, 18! Which is also the title of my adult film debut. Mine would have been called, "Might As Well, I'm 24." Excuse me, Mr. Moustache? Could you stop feeling my ankle with your toes? I guess that's a no. Oh, 18 winner. We won! I'm rich! Now you have no shot with me. Stay close, sweet cakes. You're good luck. Here, buddy. Buy yourself some new sandals, and a round of mouthwash for the table. All right, place your bets. I placed mine on a liberal arts degree. That's why I'm here. Let it ride. Max, maybe we should quit while we're ahead since we've never been before. Aren't you worried that we might... 18 again! Keep winning and never die! Let's go with four. The number of men who have flashed me since I've been on this riverboat. Lucky four! No more bets. Whoa! Who's driving this thing? Gary Busey? Oh, four. No winners. Yes, winners. We had four, but then the boat moved our chips. Yeah, and it also spilled my soda. So like I said: No winners. Sure, we lost all our money, but at least you got to see some dongs. Hey, Sophie, it's me Car... ah! I fall for her... "Hello, this is Sophie" outgoing message every time. We need them to send that money. Oh, thank God. Hi, Sophie, it's... What's going on here? Are you selling pony rides with Chestnut? Yes, but you got to wait in line with the other kids. No, you don't, buddy. Up you go, champ. Get your hands off me! I don't want my picture taken! Right now. The girls asked me to make sure you're feeding him, and here you are pimping him out like... this isn't my wheelhouse. Famous pimps, anyone? What? How dare they not trust us. This stops now! Unless your boy, Han, gets a little taste of the horse-play. Here. What's going on here? Nothing. I know a shady deal when I see one. I was one of the loudest voices against the Louisiana Purchase. Earl, what are you even doing here? I thought you lived at the diner. Well, thank God the girls asked me to check on Han checking on you too 'cause now this black male is about to blackmail you. Okay, Earl's in too. At a lesser percentage because odds are he'll forget about all of this momentarily. Excuse me, manager. We've been wronged, and not just generally by life. I don't know who to complain to about that. Is there a problem over here? I'm the pit boss. I also do the mentalist show in the John Wilkes Booth Ballroom. Still lots of tickets available. Yes, there's a problem here. We just got cheated out of our winnings, and I was already cheated out of much of my 20s, but again, probably not your department. Why don't I send a complimentary bottle of champagne to your room? And by "champagne" I mean wine, and by "bottle" I mean box. Uh, you know what? We'll take it here. Would there happen to be a 7 Eleven Merlot? Max, wine in our room sounds so much better. We can relax and focus on each other for once. Mm, great. What's the room number? Oh. I think she means oh-six. I don't think so. That room is still an active crime scene. Stowaways, huh? I'll have the Coast Guard come and pick you up. They're already coming for that guy. I didn't wanna strip my clothes off and try to drive the boat. It was that voodoo curse. Damn you, Tim! Look, dude, if you're really a mentalist, you'll know that I need to get to Texas to see my boyfriend. I can tell that you're telling the truth. Please, there has got to be a way we can work something out. We'll do anything. Well, she will. I'll do over the shirt stuff. Your shirt. If you take off that hat. Is there anywhere in the world where I don't have to be a waitress? Hooters? Thanks. I'm a cocktail waitress on the Mississippi River. This is a worse vacation than the one with Ed Helms in it. Sorry, sir. Looking for some cell service. Hey, why don't I sit in your lap and you can drive me around? Two birds, one stone? I wasn't that attracted to you anyway. I'm gonna go try to find some reception. Seeing Randy miserable is the only thing that'll cheer me up right now. Maybe he's crying. One vodka for the gentleman with the neck tattoo, and two vodkas for the lady who's into that sort of thing. Thank you. Your catfish tower's on its way. It takes two to carry the cocktail sauce lagoon. Everything on double-zero. Which has to be the Yelp rating of this boat. Excuse me? Could I get a white wine spritzer? Oh, come on, Vera. We share a locker. Oh, double-zero. Winner. Yes, I'm a winner again! Suck it, river people. What is going on over here? Employees are not allowed to gamble. Or, as of last week, sexually harass each other. Thanks a lot, Craig. Ugh. Poindexter in the radio room wouldn't let me use the satellite phone. Also, I broke your satellite phone. That is it. You're fired. That's the worst news I've heard since you said "you're hired." There's a tug coming to swap out the toilet tanks. I am putting you two on it. As captains? Or should I say, crap-tains? Hey, everybody! I got spinning wheels for Barbara's carriage. Now's it's not just her attitude that's gangster. Uh... can y'all keep it down, please? I'm trying to set up my new wireless headphones. Gonna make my walkman sound amazing. This is ridiculous. I'm trying to keep things on the down-low, and you three went on the biggest shopping spree since Ellen at a Men's Wearhouse sale. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Han, why are you taller than the counter? Just been eating right and getting enough sleep. Yeah, something's weird. You're almost the height of an adult penguin. Fine! I treated myself to lifts. I was sick of being nose to butt with everyone on the subway. Check out Caroline's Instagram. Looks like they're in more trouble than I was the last time I tried to put on overalls. Ooh, they're on a tugboat filled with toilets, and she writes, "Help. Please send money." So... quick unfollow? Or sleep on it and pow-wow in the morning? No. We have to help them. I lost the cord to these headphones anyway. Oh, still got toilet boat legs. Ugh, this place reeks of bait. Oh, no, wait. That was me. My mouth was open. More importantly, I finally have enough bars on my phone to stalk Randy on Snapchat. Oh, great! All of our problems are solved, except for food, money, and a place to sleep. So negative. Have you not seen the sneeze-guard-less bait shop salad bar? Speaking of pathetic, let me just check in on poor Randy. Just another lonely night here in Texas... with all my new best friends! - Hey! - Ha-ha! Hey! I was up next for Twister! Classic Jake. - Hey! - Hey! Ha. I'm sure he's just putting on a happy face. That's obviously the only way to handle Jake. Deep down, I can tell he's genuinely upset. I'm just genuinely happy right now. Ugh, this salad bar stinks. No, wait. That's me again. Oh, my God, Max! The diner people put money in our PayPal account! They say it's from Chestnut, but he's not allowed on the Internet when we're not home. I can't believe it. Me neither. The diner people are all we have in this world. And I used to have a closet just for scarves. No! That Randy's happy without me. What am I doing? I'm dragging you all over the country after some guy who isn't even interested in me anymore. This is my worst idea since I told DeNiro to stick to comedy. So, what are you saying? I'm saying this is a mistake. Let's just go home like you said after that hyena knocked you to the ground and tried to hump you. Can I get $12 on number four? And on which aisle can I find tucking tape? Okay, I will just have these Slim Jims and a Ho-Ho. It's not like I have to fit into couture today. - Stop hitting me. - Stop hitting me! Girls, stop fighting. I hate to see women fighting each other. Well, unless, of course, it's Hoda and Kathie Lee over the last glass of chardonnay. That's RuPaul! From RuPaul's Drag Race! We love your show. We used to watch it through our neighbor Jeff's window. But then he met Dean, and now all they do is cook naked. So we just watch that now. Oh, you poor babies. So, why the cat fight? Did she steal your size 12 stilettos? 'Cause I would cut a bitch for that. We were actually on our way to Texas to see if she and her ex could patch things us. No, we're not going to Texas. We're going back home. Sometimes you got to admit defeat... and that there is a very live junebug in this macaroni salad. Oh, no, honey. I do not like the sound of defeat. You want to know where I'd be if I'd given up on my dreams? Living right down the road managing a Dress Barn, driving 400 miles in a ball gown to sing karaoke. I would not be the supermodel of the world that I am today, okay? Hello. Hey, listen. I'm driving to Texas if y'all want a ride. Well, shall we sashay away? You know that's copyrighted. Say it again, and you owe me $12,000. - Aah! - Ah! Shotgun! I'm sitting next to RuPaul! No. I'm sitting next to RuPaul. Transcribed by Uncle Andy My marriage was a sham. I'm with Interpol, Serious Financial Crime Agency. Your husband had the copy made for some oligarch to put on his yacht. I see it in you now. That look. What look? Revenge! They were laundering money on a massive scale. You know, you learn so much more about people after they're dead. I found him. I found John Brandeis. Choosing a blind man? That is the Constantine Clios touch. A blind art dealer? There is no John Brandeis. It was just Constantine. Moving money around. We don't know that, Georgie, we We don't know Constantine's side. He wasn't the only one using the Safe Room, Christos was too. No one is who they seem, are they? Christos is an addict. Do you think he's capable of this? There is no John Brandeis. You're right! I have to talk to Christos. You and I are cut from the same ice Sincerity made us the perfect heist Burning all the gold to sapphire skies But the breeze is cold in paradise I can feel the whispers in the street Every night I shiver in my sleep No reality, cause it's all a dream Was it love? It was wild Brought me to my knees Sparking fires, sparring wars with expensive things I tiptoe right round my baby All this world is mad, mad crazy Was it love? It was wild Brought me to my knees Sparking fires, sparring wars with expensive things I tiptoe right round my baby All this world is mad, mad crazy Allo! Hi! Yes, this is Georgina Clios. I'm here to see Christos. He isn't here, I'm afraid. Can you tell him, again, that I am trying to reach him? Of course. Goodbye. Hey, thanks for meeting me here. Well, I thought we better speak face to face. Why, what is it? I checked the Brandeis account. And? The Manovich money, the 30 million... It was in the account until a few days ago. What do you mean? It's gone. Gone! But that means that someone had to take it. After Constantine died. All of it? Yes. If Constantine didn't take it, then... Christos! He's the only one who had access to it. What do you want to do? I'm going to get some answers. Ok, cash or card? Cash. Wouldn't want my husband to find out. No, those are going in the back. You take all of those in the back. This is good, good, good. I like all this. You know bushes, it's here is the important part. It's like, here,we want them, this is what they see, the rest is... Who looks back here? No one, right? That's where people come in. That what people see. No, this is the wrong... It's 0-3. That's not 0-3. You're pretty. You have a pretty mouth. All the pretty girls in the hallway, you know? And you can come with me. It's good. You look good.Who the fuck? Who the fuck? It's gonna be a long day. Nadia! I look awful. Can we try something new? What kind of statement would you like to make? Something that says... don't fuck with me. Fuck! Shit! Perfect. Just sprucing up for some marathon shmoozing. Sorry, I'm just looking for an earring. I think you look perfect as you are. Very funny. It's nice. It suits you. Is it new? You don't remember? I was wearing it the night we met. the opera. Oh, yes. Of course. How could I forget! You looked very handsome that night. And I remember thinking: wow... my new stepmother's about 10 minutes older than me! Whatever's going on, whatever trouble he's left us with, I'm here. Is it that obvious? You're not alone, you know. It's all so confusing. You smell like him. I feel like him. No, Adam! Well, hello! Hi! Sophie, you came! Yeah. Sophia, if you see your brothers, send them my way. Yes, Mother. So nice to see you. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Georgina! Hey, Georgina! Georgine! Chris, where the hell is Christos? Someone needs to be in the Main Room and the Hall. Originality thrives in a non-commercial setting. It's the fire that the elite depends on. Resistance on the anti-institution, it's a beutiful symbiosis. We feed off them; commodifying and using them And then, turn up at splendid balls like this. Madame, pleased to... Thank you ...wonderful to be here. Excuse me... Wow, you could have made an effort, Georgie. Kill me now. Hey! Oh, hey! Funny little dress. Such a little bitch, though. Ok, who wants to get high? That's not very much for 3, is it? Uh, we're gonna do blowbacks. Blowbacks? What, what? Blowbacks. What is that? Who's got a light? I've got a light. Thank you, thank you! Thank you for coming. Everyone... Thank you for supporting the Foundation. As you all know well, this auction is part of the Clios heritage. And we are so glad to see the same familiar faces every year. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you and of course, we thank Georgina for the pleasure of this beautiful location, which is very dear to my heart. Let's celebrate our beloved Constantine by having a good time tonight. Adele LeTissiet, leading light of the international opera scene. Georgie? Is everything... Georgie? What is this? Is this live? Oh, my God, you are fucking hardcore! How long has he been down there? Not long enough! Adam... The auction is about to start. Christos hasn't turned up What an idiot. What's he playing? You have to run the auction. Me? Yes. Fuck! Christos! Are you serious? Yes! You're the oldest. It has to be a Clios, naturally. That's the way things are done. This night, this gala might affect the situation of every one of us. Great. You haven't seen this before. I don't tnink so. This is all very impressive. That's very kind of you. A vision! Oh, forgive me... I had a few things I had to tie up. Please, not another word. So impressive of you, I thought, to hold such an event so soon after your terrible loss. I'm sorry, I hope that wasn't... No, not at all! You look like you could use a top-up. Absolutely. This is the center of the collection. You'll find this in the Main Room. All the artworks are to be removed and all of them handled with the utmost care. You'll enter the property at midnight, on my command. Is that clear? Yes, sir! Alright. Good evening. Good evening, everyone! Ok, let's not stand on ceremony, let's jump straight in with item number one in your catalogue: "A drive around the circuit in Monaco", beginning bidding at... 50 thousand! Now don't be shy, do we see 50 thousand? 50! Do I see 55? 55! I see 55... Do I see 60? Your hand up? Do we see 60? Is that 70, sir, or wonderful hair. 70! That's gone to you. Thank you very well! Auctions can be pretty torrid affairs. Yes! I believe the last time you and I saw each other, we were bidding on the Malevich. You won that one, I guess. Have you still got that Mondrian: "Study In Composition number 2"? Red and Blue! Yes, of course, that's one of our favorites. Constantine hung a Rauschenberg next to it and would talk about the unbroken tradition between the two. Yes, your son was saying a similar thing. Stepson! I didn't realize that you two were close. We were talking about the collection. I was interested, of course. 100,000 Euros,up... Sorry? I was just saying... no matter. Georgina! Have you seen Dawn and Sophie? I've lost them. No, sweetheart, I haven't. I'm sorry, you were interested... Are you ready to talk? You can't do this! Christos... You're psychotic! Maybe. Give me the bloody key! First, tell me... Tell you what? Give me the key. Give me the fucking key! Christos... What is it, what do you want? Ok, for starters, I have Jeffrey Anderton upstairs eyeing out my collection like it's a fucking yard sale. Anderton! Is that what this... Fucking idiot, it's called evaluation and you're insane! Those are my paintings. Give me the fucking key! I met John Brandeis. Oh, good for you. Not really what I expected. Well, who is, huh? You, for example. No one had you down for such a cunt. I see. 90,000 Euros for this gentleman here, 95! 95 thousand Euros here! Now, do I see one hundred thousand Euros? Get it out! One hundred thousand Euros! One hundred thousand Euros! Gone to the man in the fine spectacles and now to the most coveted soprano in the world! You got him to talk yet? It won't be long now. Mrs. Clios... Are we nearly there? We'll wait until the Service gates open. Enter the property from both sides. Hello. Are you crying? No. So? Boy trouble? Not exactly. Why don't you come back to the party? Your brother's doing a very fine job. I just lost out a dance with a beautiful woman. Maybe, I could have one with you. No, thank you. Hmm. Well, surely there is something we can do to cheer you up. A wee little thing like you should be enjoying yourself. Do you like to get high? Mm, naughty girl. I only have this much. Uh, we can do blowbacks. Oh, it's been a while since I've had that... but I don't think so. Do you have a light? Hm, sure! I knew I would be of some use. Stupid fucking bitch! You don't know anything. Isn't it time you fucked off? Back to Wisconsin or whatever fucking hole you came from! Brandeis was a front, obviously... to launder money, right? So what, your Dad didn't think he had enough? The Bank was fucked. Dad compartmentalized. He was trying to save the ank. How? How? Elena. Who is she? You're missing a fantastic party. What are you doing? Oh, relax, Mom! Marcello, go back outside. Irina, hold on... Don't she's a child! I'm not a child. What are you doing? What are you doing? Adriana! I'm just trying to be normal for once but you ruin everything! You fucking live to fucking embarrass me! You don't need any help with that! Whoring yourself! No... because I learned from the very best Why you never strike me as the jealous type, Irina. How dare you! What? She was crying. I just sat next to her. She's my daughter! I don't want you anywhere near her. Oh, what makes you so upset? You were never the most trivialist mother. It doesn't suit you. I think you should leave. I'd like that very much, Jakob. Leave? Yes, leave. I'm sorry for our misunderstanding. Beautiful piece of work, kindly donated by Lorenzo Quid... with the added bonus that he will personally hand deliver it to your home! and maybe stay for dinner. Ezcellent, let's start the bidding at 90. Do I have any advances on 90? So, any advances on 90? Thank you, Madame! Do I see 95? Why did you do that? What? Dominique... I didn't do. You know what I mean. Well, where'd you come up with that creepy old guy? To get back at you! Sorry. Oh, fuck! I'm so high! You're so beautiful. You don't know what it feels like to be outside of everything. I think you're scared. Duh, under it all, you're boring, like everyone else. Sophie's phone, leave a message. What are you doing? My job. What are you doing here? My daughter, she's inside. What's happening? Why am I not informed? I have a warrant. We're seizing the Clios collection. Sold to the gentleman in the back for 2 hundred thousand Euros. Thank you all very much nd goodnight. Thank you. Christos! Christos, stop it! Stop it! Fuck! There's water, there's water under the bed. Would you fucking get it! Please! Please! Neck! Just find a vein! Just fucking do it! Just fucking do it! Please! Come on! Come on! Elena... Elena. Who is she? No, it... It's a file. Where is it? I think... Panama papers... International fucking dangerous men... Heads of state... Elena... isn't fucking around. Blackmail? Dirt right up to the Kremlin. Dodgy dealings, corruption, lies... Christos, where is it now? At the bottom of the ocean. Smithereens, with Father and files and lies. What about the bank account? The bank account? The Brandeis account, the 30 million dollars! Do you have it? I don't have any money. Is there money? I don't know what you thought. Fuck! Chlorise! Where's I? lena Adam! I never meant for any of this to happen. I was trying to save the Bank. I was trying to fix it but Dad made so much mess. I fucking hated him. That's why I hated you. Ok, gents, let's go. You coming? Of course I'm coming. Police! Good evening! We are the police. Please stay calm and remain where you are. Move away from the art Where is the lady of the house? Stand aside, police! We have a warrant for the art. We are the police, stay where you are. Thank you for your cooperation. What's going on? Madame Clios... by order of Interpol, all the art is seized and you are to stay exactly where you are. Fucking awful night. What doesn't kill you, et cetera... Monsieur! What now? Was it love? It was wild Brought me to my knees Sparking fires,\ sparring wars with expensive things I tiptoe right round my baby All this world is mad, mad crazy Transcribed by Uncle Andy Transcribed by Uncle Andy I told them not to come. There wasn't any point if you weren't there with me. [soft guitar music] A girlfriend! Hey... oh, right. A girlfriend among us! We have been infiltrated! Hello. [laughs nervously] Oh, my bros, my bros, my bros! This place is too dope! They can't let it last! There's only one option left. Get the Kool-Aid. [men cheering] Yeah! Now mix it with the vodka. Quickly, now. Shots, my bros! It is the only way. [slamming podium] We must do shots! [men clamoring] Shots, shots, shots, shots! The younger bros first, then the eldest. Do you want to get out of here? Well, you... you don't want to hang out with Mike anymore? Uh... Oh, mother, mother, mother, mother, please. No, let's... let's go back to my place. - Okay. - Um... ♪ ♪ Let's go back to our place. - Okay. - All right. ♪ ♪ - [laughter] - [upbeat music over stereo] Well, hey, sick housewarming party, bro. - Thank you very much. - Yeah, oh, yeah. Sorry I got a little crazy the other day. That's absolutely fine. Every... everything turn out okay, though? No. ♪ ♪ To his bone, sliced it to the bone. Hi. I was just telling Lucy - the apartment looks amazing. - Thank you. Yeah, super interesting decor choices. I haven't seen a lava lamp since middle school. Thank you. I really like it. - Like it? - [door opens] ♪ ♪ Robin! Hi. Where have you been? What happened to your arm? Yes, Robin, what happened to your arm? Uh, I... I, uh... I... I don't know? You don't know? [raucous laughter] Robin, you're crazy! I like this girl. Normal. Everything's normal. Ahh! Is this the new futon? - Yes, it is, in fact. - Yeah, yeah. We just bought it together. It's my new favorite thing. And... and you know it turns into a bed? So really, it's like two things. A couch that turns into a bed? Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it. Yeah, right? All right, watch this. Oh, oh, oh, okay. - Okay. - All right, ready? - All right. - Okay? - On three. - Yep. - One... - One... both: Two, three! [all cheering] - Very nice! - Okay. [Caveman's "Never Going Back"] ♪ Just to see what's new ♪ ♪ I wanna do what's right ♪ ♪ Just to make it through ♪ ♪ Till I'm wide awake ♪ ♪ And the feeling's gone ♪ WATSON: Previously on Elementary... I have a daughter, Chivonne. When I was in Great Meadow I wrote letters, birthday cards, that sort of thing. And then my letters to Chivonne started coming back unopened. I know he's a criminal. He was a criminal. And now he's just cured? He's ready to be a father to Chivonne? Look, before you talk to her, I think... I'm not going to talk to her. I want her in my life, I have to earn it. ♪ ♪ ♪ And everyone else I know... ♪ Here you go. You can relax now. I promise no one followed you and no one's watching you. I guess this whole undercover thing got me on edge. Well, I can't imagine why. So how are things going with Detective Guzman? Good, I think. He says I'm giving him some good stuff. Did he give you an ETA on when you're gonna move on the gang? Above my pay grade. Guzman says when it's time, I'll be the first to know. I got a text from my daughter last night. Chivonne? I guess her auntie finally told her I was out. She wants to see me. What'd you tell her? I told her yes. Okay, Doc, you can say it. Look, I know that she's the reason why you're doing this, that you want to be someone that she can look up to. But seeing her right now could be really dangerous for both of you. I know, but she asked to see me. After all this time, she came to me. If I turn her down, I might not get a second chance. Just be careful. Always. Hello, olá, and Eoh, wasseo, gamers and gamerettes. It's O.G. Pwnzr coming to you live from New York City with your daily dose of... (imitates explosion) knowledge. Today I'm gonna introduce you to the newest champion for Skystrike Titans, Vadrus Typhon. He is a complete badass, which is why all you rug rats are gonna pay big bucks for this upgrade, so you can do this... (laughs) "But how do I execute that combo?" you ask... Okay, admit it, this guy's hilarious. He's old. He's got to be, like, 30. Yeah, but, like, that's the whole point. He's been playing forever, so he knows all the tricks. He's gonna be at the VGU Open this weekend. I'm gonna play him. I'm gonna kick his ass. I can't believe you're wasting an entire weekend playing video games with sweaty nerdcore dweebs. Not all of them are dweebs. Challenge Uncle O.G., but be warned-- you will be wrecked. There will be pwnage. Okay, kids, don't try this at home. (grunts) What the hell? Was that real? Wait, did somebody hit him? (phone rings) Yes, ma'am, we'll... we'll look into it. Thanks. Hey, Marcus, my niece just called. She was watching some live video online, and she thinks she saw this guy get assaulted. She's worried he might be dead. A guy who uses the name "O.G. Pwnzr"? Yeah. Yeah, that's him. She's not the only one. 911's ringing off the hook. Apparently he was some sort of online celebrity. Whatever happened, it went viral. Look at the number of viewers. 30,000 people have seen this? Only no one knows the guy's real name or where he was in New York when this happened. If he's dead, there's a murder scene out there, and no way to find it. (grunting) ♪ Elementary 5x14 ♪ Rekt in Real Life Original Air Date on February 19, == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man ♪ ♪ Hey. Hey. No Sherlock? He wasn't there when I woke up this morning. I texted him, but I haven't heard back. So do we know any more about the victim? This is just what we were able to dig up online. Still don't know where the attack took place, or if he's alive or dead. We do know that "O.G." is a pseudonym, and that he's good at keeping his real name private. The company that hosts his live stream does all their business with him through a DBA, so we subpoenaed the IRS to pull ownership records, but they're taking their time, as usual. Mm. Are you sure he was in New York? He said he was. He was supposed to appear at a tournament this weekend at the Javits Center. If you want the latest, you should join the captain. He's about to get a briefing. From who, the computer crime squad? His niece. He live-streams pretty much every day. I mean, he covers a bunch of different games, but I mostly watch the Skystrike Titans ones. And he makes a living at this? Well, people donate money if they like the stream. Plus, he has sponsors. He says he makes even more doing this than he did when he was a pro gamer. A professional video game player. It's a big thing, though, Uncle Tommy. I mean, these games make, like, billions of dollars. There are hundreds of millions of players all over the world. There are corporate-sponsored teams, tournaments with million-dollar prizes. They call it "eSports," right? O.G. was a pro-- one of the first. But it's hard for older players to stay on top. You know, their reflexes slow down, they get this thing with their thumbs where it locks from doing the same motion over and over and over. Stenosing tenosynovitis. It's a repetitive stress injury. That's what O.G. got, so he switched from playing tournaments to streaming. He also worked as a scout and an agent, so he would find the best new players and then help them negotiate their deals with the corporate teams. So O.G. was acting as an agent in a brand-new sport with no real regulation or oversight. How much are these deals worth? Tons. Millions. I mean, they say it can get pretty crazy when two teams compete over a hot new player. Do you think that's why O.G. was attacked? (cell phone ringing) Oh. Excuse me, would you? Hey, where are you? HOLMES (over phone): Where are you? The precinct. The captain wanted to talk about... The violent assault of one O.G. Pwnzr during a live video stream, perhaps? You heard about it. An associate sent me video of the attack just moments after. He was concerned that O.G. might require medical assistance. So I began investigating right away. And? I noticed an odd pattern of lights in the corner of the video. I realized it was two different billboards flashing outside O.G.'s window. I spent the last few hours stalking midtown, searching for a location which faced two such billboards at the right angles. My search was a success. You found the crime scene? That's the good news. The bad news is medical assistance won't be required. So, as we know from the live stream, the assailant, likely a male with significant upper-body strength, pistol-whipped O.G., then smashed the camera, ending the stream. He then secures O.G. to the chair, using computer cables, and continued to beat him. So either someone really, really didn't like the guy, or they wanted information from him. These bruises would have taken at least 30 minutes to develop. Implying that, for reasons unknown, the killer paused his attack for half an hour before delivering a final, fatal series of blows. Well, these head wounds aren't consistent with the butt of a gun. They are not. They were inflicted with a pointed metal object, perhaps a hammer claw or garden trowel. Well, whatever it was, the killer took it with him when he left. Who brings a gun and a garden tool to commit a murder? Hopefully, this might provide some insight. I resisted the temptation to examine it before I could establish proper chain of custody. You think it was the victim's? There's one way to find out. (phone beeps) Retina lock can still be triggered hours after death. Ain't technology grand? O.G.'s real name is Owen Tuchman, and he's involved in at least one dispute via text. BELL: "Do not cross me. Stay the hell away from Tendu." Whatever that means. "Back off, or I'll destroy you." These are all from someone named Joey Ng. He's in contacts. Joey Ng of ProFine Peripherals. Address in Williamsburg. Who's up for a drive? (school bell rings) SHINWELL: Chivonne. I know you? I'm your... I'm Shinwell. You said you want to talk? It's okay, guys. Catch you later. You don't look like I remember. You, neither. What are you doing here? I texted you this morning; I said I'll meet you after school. They don't let us have our phones during school hours. I'm sorry, I didn't know. If you're not ready for this, then... It's okay. The truth is I'm in trouble, and I need your help. Yeah, I sent those texts, but I didn't mean anything by them. "Back off or I'll destroy you." Three exclamation points. Well, I admit that was a little over the top. Hey, guys, come on, focus. Don't worry about this, okay? We got a tournament coming up. Let's go! When we came here, we were under the impression that this was your residence. Oh, it's a team house; that's how we do it in eSports. I own the place, and the team lives here so that they can practice together all day. Yeah, we give them room and board, salary, coaches, trainers, the works. According to O.G.'s calendar app, he had several meetings with you at this location over the last week, all predating your angry texts, and all on the subject of something or someone called Tendu. They all go by nicknames, and O.G. was Tendu's agent. So he found this kid online, and he flew him down from some nowhere town in northern Canada, and started shopping him to teams. And O.G. and I, we got into it. 'Cause Tendu wanted to sign with us, but O.G. kept trying to steer him to one of our rivals. Joey, we're ready. Sorry. We're interrupting? Looks like we're the ones interrupting. Uh, Anezka and her friends are trade-show models for the tournament this weekend. They're here to take publicity photos with the team. You're police. Did Joey do something wrong? NG: No, we just... We're clearing up a misunderstanding. Hey, why don't you, uh, go hang out with the team, okay? I'll be right there. So, you were talking about why you were angry with O.G. Right. Yeah, I was angry with him. But I had no reason to kill him. I won. Tendu signed with Team ProFine. Now, O.G. was furious, okay? He kept badgering Tendu to change his mind, but... Something wrong? Tendu was supposed to be here by now, for the publicity photos. Called him, like, an hour ago, but he didn't answer. Wait, you don't think whoever tried to kill O.G. went after him, also? We can't rule anything out. You know where he was staying? I could send a car to check on him. We need to talk to him, too. I don't know for sure, but I bet he was at the same hotel as O.G. There was only one room registered under O.G.'s name. Then try looking under Tendu's real name. I only learned it when we were drawing up the contracts. It's Marcel Otolik. O-T-O-L-I-K. It's Eskimo or something. BELL: All clear! No one's home. It's freezing in here. Is there a window open somewhere? Yeah, in the bedroom. Otolik's an Inuit name. The address he registered with the front desk is well north of the Arctic Circle. So you can imagine he likes things a little chilly. His companion, on the other hand, might've preferred things a bit warmer. His companion? Yeah, long brown hair. Looks like Tendu spent the night in someone's warm embrace. Before they went out the window. Hand and shoe prints. HOLMES: Male and female. So I find people rarely exit rooms via windows when they're not fleeing for their lives. Perhaps Owen Tuchman's killer paid them a visit, too. That's one possibility. The other is that they were worried that someone would catch them with this. Looks like the murder weapon. BELL: If that's a garden tool, it's not like one I've ever seen. That is a hakapik. (camera clicks) It's a seal-killing club favored by the Inuits. Judging by this inscription, it is a going-away present, a little memento from home. This hook matches O.G.'s head wounds. I'm gonna put out a Finest Message. Looks like we got a suspect. By all means, send your bulletin. We do need to speak to Tendu. But not as a suspect. I mean, judging by this murder weapon... I think he was framed. According to the lab, blood type on the weapon is a match for Owen "O.G." Tuchman, and this guy Tendu's prints are all over it. But you two still think he was framed? Well, circumstantial evidence is a very tricky thing. It might seem to point very straight to one thing, but if you shift your own point of view a little, you may find it pointing in an equally uncompromising manner to something entirely different. Well, I don't know how you shift this. The blood matches the victim, and the hook matches the wounds. The hook. Precisely. Tendu is an Inuit male from a traditional Inuit village. Hence, he's likely killed hundreds of seals. Only, seal hunters do not kill with the hook side of the hakapik. That's used for hauling seal carcasses onto the boats. To kill, the hunters use the hammer. So if he had he swung this club, Tendu would likely have killed O.G. with a single blow from the hammer directly to the temple. Okay. So what went down? From your shifted point of view. Well, imagine for one moment that Tendu was the killer's intended target. Only, he couldn't find him. O.G. had taken pains to keep Tendu's whereabouts a secret. O.G. himself, however, he'd been out and about in the city, he'd been taking meetings, he'd been negotiating for his clients. He would've been relatively easy to find and follow back to the hotel. BELL: We think that's why O.G. was tortured before he was killed. The perp wanted him to give up Tendu's location. HOLMES: O.G. submitted. The killer goes to Tendu's room, tries to enter. He's delayed by the security latch on the door. Fresh abrasions on the metal suggest that it was forcefully engaged and then defeated. Only, by that time, Tendu had escaped. So the guy comes up empty-handed, but he isn't ready to give up, so he finds the kid's club and he takes it back to Owen Tuchman's room. He couldn't kill Tendu. He settled for framing him. My niece mentioned that there's some big gaming tournament this weekend-- the first prize is two million bucks. Maybe somebody wanted Tendu out of the picture. We thought about that, but he wasn't due to play this weekend. So him being dead, or on the run wouldn't have affected the outcome. Hmm. What about this brunette you think he was with? Any more on her? HOLMES: Not yet. Watson's at home combing through Tendu's social media. Hopefully, we'll have answers to our questions soon. ♪ Will you pray for the end? ♪ (death metal music playing loudly) You're listening to Goatwhore? Trying to stay awake! (music stops) Been going through this stuff for five hours straight. It turns out Tendu isn't big on words, but he loves photos. He posted a few dozen a day, every day, for the last five years. That's 30,000 pictures, give or take. Unfortunately, he only posted a few since he arrived in New York, none since O.G.'s murder. Nothing with a new girlfriend, no hint that he might be in trouble, or where he might be hiding. He has quite the fan base. Yeah, over 100,000 followers. Some of these photographs went viral before he became known as an eSports star. Over 10,000 shares. What's so special about that one? (phone chiming) Shinwell. He wants me to meet him first thing in the morning. You should turn in for the night. - We're done here. - What? Just like that? Well, you're fatigued, or else you would've noticed. Not only did Tendu's most popular selfie likely motivate the attempt on his life, but the comments section has also given us a promising suspect. Ms. Lundquist, you promised your client would come in on her own recognizance. I could send a couple of detectives. I'm sorry, Raina will be here. And you'll see, she has nothing to do with whatever this is. She's a good person. Can a fanatic be a good person? In my experience, the answer's almost always no. She's not a fanatic. She's... devoted. Makes it hard for her to keep a schedule sometimes. Hi. - I'm so sorry I'm late. - It's okay. It's okay. I forgot to charge my car last night. Hi, hi. I am so, so glad that you granted my request for this meeting. We cannot wait to free these gorgeous horses. Horses? Of course. We're here to discuss the NYPD Mounted Unit, right? Ending equine slavery. While this meeting does have to do with your position as CEO of the Animal Salvation Fund, Ms. Karnow, horse emancipation is not on the docket, I'm afraid. Rather, we would like to discuss your campaign to end seal hunting. LUNDQUIST: A selfie? Sealfie, actually. You and your group have branded seal hunting barbaric. But the so-called barbarians, in this modern day and age, well, they also have access to cell phones and social media, just like you do. LUNDQUIST: You told me you wanted to talk to Raina about a crime. I think you should cut to the chase. As your client well knows, the Sealfie movement was started by the Inuits to counter outside pressure to end seal hunting. Sealfies show that the Inuit's very survival and culture depends on the practice. The young man in this photograph, for example, Tendu, he's wearing seal skin, he's, uh, eating seal jerky. BELL: He's also a rising star in the world of eSports. That made him one of the movement's more visible proponents. His Sealfies went viral, causing you a lot of embarrassment. You even lost a few of your celebrity supporters. And how did you respond? By threatening him in the comments section of his posts. "If you continue to support this senseless slaughter, you and your people deserve--" in all caps-- "extinction." Two nights ago, this man was murdered with a seal-killing club that belongs to Tendu. The person who did this was trying to frame him. HOLMES: Not quite as drastic as killing him, but an effective way to silence his voice. Okay, this is crazy. The posts that you're referring to, Raina told me about them weeks ago. She regretted them and thought there might be consequences. But I'm gonna tell you exactly what I told her. Not one word of what she wrote was actionable. So if you think you're gonna turn this into a basis of a homicide investigation... Tendu and I had a meeting. Two days ago. What? Well, I didn't tell you 'cause I thought if an attorney was there, it might scare him away. We met in my office, and we made a deal. I promised to support indigenous seal hunting if he would come out against commercial seal hunts. Commercial hunts killing 20 times as many seals as the Inuits. Yeah, last thing I would want is Tendu dead or in some kind of trouble. Can you prove any of this? I have a draft of the agreement at my office. We both signed it. I can send you a copy. You can ask other people at the meeting. My assistant, Tendu's girlfriend, Libena. Libena-- that's a Czech name. I guess so. I don't know, she had a thick accent. Why? Is that important? (knocking) Thanks for coming. Of course. You okay? You don't look so good. (lock clicks) I didn't get much sleep last night. Why? Did something happen with SBK? Nope. Something happened with Chivonne. There's a banger. Lucien. He a player, runs some corners. He got it in his head that Chivonne is gonna be his girlfriend. And he don't care what she got to say about it. What do you mean? Happens sometimes. Youngblood sees something he likes, decides it's his. Doesn't matter that she don't like him. It don't matter that she just 14. One way or another, he gonna get what he wants. Now, this boy, Lucien, he keep coming at her, got his boys following her, just making her life hell. Did she talk to the police? You mean did she snitch? No. She worried that it's gonna come back on her and her aunt, and it would. That's why she came to me. What did she ask you to do? I wouldn't let her say the words but I know what she need me to do. And truth is... I want to do it. That's my baby girl. Anybody mess with her, they deserve what they get. Crazy, huh? Everything I've been doing, working with you, working with the police, it was so, eventually, I can be a father to her. Turns out what she really need is a gangster. I don't blame you for wanting to protect your daughter. But if you hurt Lucien... you know what could happen if his gang finds out what you did and why. Eye for an eye. They gonna come after me. Or worse, take it out on Chivonne. That's why I asked you here. Talk me out of it, to help me find another way. Hey. What are you guys doing here? We were just having an illuminating conversation with Anezka here. Thanks. You can go. We'll be in touch. What's going on? HOLMES: Were you aware that when Tendu disappeared, he was in the company of a woman named Libena Havel? No. No, I wasn't. BELL: Apparently, she's his girlfriend. When we heard her name, it struck us that we'd already met one Czech woman, Anezka. Having two different Czechs wrapped up in the same case seemed like more than a coincidence. HOLMES: We wondered if she and Anezka knew each other. If they did, Anezka could help us find Libena, which, in turn, could help us find Tendu. Anezka gave us this, from a gaming convention a few months back. She identified this girl as Libena, another of your trade show models. She said Libena and Tendu met at a party last week, here at this house. Yeah. HOLMES: She also told us that she and Libena were more than just models. They're prostitutes. BELL: But you already knew that. They get close to the players, flirt with them; when you get the feeling a player wants more, you make sure it happens. HOLMES: And the players themselves, they don't know the truth. And that way, they're not just more likely to stay, they're more likely to recommend Team ProFine to other eSport stars. Anezka told us Libena fell for Tendu, hard. She was thinking about telling him the truth about herself. Say she did. Say it made him angry. He confronted you, threatened to expose you. Your team could've been barred from competition. Tendu had to go. Only, you didn't know where he was staying, so maybe you paid Owen "O.G." Tuchman a visit. What? ! No, that... that's not what happened. Well, Anezka seems to think it's a quite likely sequence of events. All right, look, you are right about the girls, and you're right that Tendu found out. Only, he didn't threaten me, he came to me for help. With what? The escort agency that we use, they're not good people. Okay? They bring these girls into the country, then extort them for, like, tens of thousands of dollars in immigration fees. They literally hold the girls' passports and take 90% of what they earn until their debts are paid. So, Tendu wanted to buy Libena's freedom. He wanted to negotiate with human traffickers? Yes. Then he tells me if they don't want to play ball, he knows enough about computers to track down the people behind the agency, and identify them to the police. And I told him, look, trying to deal with people like that is a bad idea. And then to threaten them? That's even worse. So, I refused to front him the money, because I didn't want to encourage him. But maybe he did, anyway. If he did... The escort agency-- you got the address? Well, yeah, we need everything you got. Sooner the better. What's going on? Your text said you were looking into an escort agency. That was the idea. He's on the phone with the fire marshal. Based on the weathering of this tape and the graying of the ash, the place was burned down two days ago. No question it was arson. Agency's computers and paperwork were all covered with gasoline and lit up. Problem is finding who did it. Agency employees all vanished. Paperwork's gone, and the names that I could find are fake. The whole thing was owned by a shell company. - Sounds like organized crime. - Yeah. I wish I could tell you which kind. Office manager was named Carla Petro, but nobody who met her thought she looked Italian, and her name is as fake as the rest. Is he okay? He's fine. Your arsonist was driving a fully-restored, vintage Ford Mustang, model year 1965, '66, '67 or '68. Color unknown. How can you know that? You say in your report you found a charred wastebasket inside. You thought it was used to splash petrol around the office. So? So, why did the arsonist use a waste basket? Why not a gas can? I'll tell you why. Because the petrol didn't come from a can, it came from a car, which was parked right here. It was siphoned. There's spilled petrol on the floor here, and it has the distinct aroma of additives used for fueling old cars with modern unleaded. Additionally, there are scratches here which could only have come from the three-bladed spinning hubcaps of a classic Mustang. So, you said this garage was leased by the agency, right? - Yeah. - And the people who worked here are the ones we think started the fire? You want to put the Mustang over the air, or should I? Yo, Ghostface, I got that tuna you like. SHINWELL: Your cat took off. I don't think he liked the look of me. Who the hell do you think you are? Shinwell. I'm Chivonne's father. Given the way you've been treating my baby girl, stalking her, making her life hell, by rights, you should be lying in a pool of your own blood right now. That supposed to scare me? No. You hard. Hard G's, you either drop or you don't. Luckily for you, I'm trying to live a peaceable life. I come to make you a offer. What kind of offer? I been looking into you. You got three corners, a decent amount of product. If you wasn't so damn stupid when it came to the girls, you would have a good thing going. Look, my business is my business. Maybe it's time for you to put your business first. SBK got two corners near your territory. Now, I can arrange for the dealers to move out. Your people can move in, doubling your profit. Now, in exchange, I want you and yours to leave my daughter alone. Forever. Or? No need for "or." You know a good deal when you hear it, and I'm only offering once. (door opens) Hello, Carla, or... do you prefer Amanda? Or Tasha? Carla is fine. Carla. Well, your prints tell an interesting story, Carla. Multiple arrests for prostitution under various aliases dating back over 20 years, and then a gap. And then, two years ago, a misdemeanor for promoting prostitution. Looks like you went into management. Made enough to buy that vintage Mustang we pulled you over in. And now you can add arson to your list of accomplishments. BELL: Maybe murder, as well. This man... She's prepared to take the fall for her crimes, whatever they are. Likely due to a combination of fear of her employers and the promise of future compensation. Spent her whole life in the sex trade. She's used to trading herself for money. Didn't ask you how your emergency meeting with Shinwell went. Did you manage to avert his crisis? Well, I tried to point him in the right direction. GREGSON: We already have you on the arson. (sighs) I spilled gasoline by accident. I dropped a cigarette. Clumsy me. But I didn't send anyone after the boy, Tendu. Neither did the people I work for. They don't even know his name. GREGSON: You had motive, and we have reason to believe that Tendu uncovered the names of all your bosses. He threatened to expose all of you. He did, but he also offered me a deal, which I took. He's a nice boy. And I was happy for Libena. She found her Richard Gere. Girls from poor cities, broken homes, they get into the trade because they want to escape, make some money, and someday live the dream. Meet a wonderful man, fall in love, live happily ever after, like Julia Roberts from the movie. For most of us, there is no Richard Gere. It's a fantasy. Libena and the boy seemed to be in love, and he offered to pay off her debt, so I gave them their chance at the fairy tale. And then what? You figured if Tendu was able to identify you and the agency's owners, other people could, too? You burned down your office to cover your tracks? $100,000 is more than enough to replace some old computers and open a new office. GREGSON: Tendu said he was gonna pay you a hundred thou? He didn't say he would do it. He did it. Paid me on the spot. In cash? Brand new hundred dollar bills. Joey Ng told us he hadn't given Tendu any money. Did he say where he got it? Mm, sorry. When someone hands me money, I don't ask where it came from. Force of habit. Fire marshals will be by to talk with her next. Any impressions? If I had to guess, I'd say she was telling the truth. Where's Joan? She's at your computer. Said she has a theory as to how Tendu got his $100,000. What do you got? Oh, hey. So, this is one of the last pictures that Tendu uploaded to social media. Now, the logo belongs to a company called AmpVX. They make top-of-the-line headphones. According to this, the headphones he's wearing haven't even been released yet. A friend of mine who dated a Met once, she said the guy never wore brand name unless he was getting paid. Tendu is a professional athlete now. Significant percentage of the money athletes make is from sponsorship deals. How do we get ahold of someone from AmpVX? There won't be anyone in the New York office until tomorrow. But? In Beijing... it's already tomorrow. WATSON: Hao. Your call went well. It did. What is that? That's roasted huitlacoche. It's corn smut. Do you want some? Ugh. No thanks. So, the VP at AmpVX's Beijing headquarters said they signed Tendu to a five-year, multi-million dollar sponsorship deal. He collected a $100,000 advance from their New York office the day he bought Libena's freedom. Explains the money. Ms. Jao also said that Tendu had the company wire $20,000 each to several people in his village in Maniitok, Canada. He wanted the payments to continue for the life of his contract. But he also wanted to make sure he could stop the payments if the recipients didn't fulfill certain conditions. The payments were incentives. He wanted to ensure certain prominent citizens in Maniitok did something that they already desperately wanted to do. How could you already know that? You tend to project when you speak Mandarin. I overheard enough to get the gist, so I contacted the Royal Canadian Mounted Police in Maniitok to see if any of their officers could provide any insight, and Officer Montcalm has been giving me an overview of a certain situation in Tendu's hometown. That, in combination with the names of Tendu's payees and their views regarding the future of Maniitok, allowed me to deduce the goal of the payments, not to mention why Owen Tuchman was murdered and Tendu framed. I don't get it. Are you saying all of this is because of local politics in an Inuit village? The local politics are just a symptom. O.G.'s murder was ultimately triggered by something far larger in scope. He died because of global warming. (car horns honking) Any sign of the guy? Not yet. Our techs pinged his cell phone to a tower right around the corner. He's definitely around here somewhere. You sure he's our killer? Kurt Godwyn is a fixer for Mather and Kline. He does all the dirty work for an exceedingly dirty law firm. So, if they sent anyone to kill Tendu three nights ago, I'll bet it was him. There he is. Brown jacket. That's him. I think I see a parking spot-- What... (car door closes) (car horns continue honking) ♪ ♪ If you move, I'm gonna put six rounds in your liver. Police! Are we clear? Clear. Get your hands up on the wall now. HOLMES: Right pocket. Don't move. That isn't a gun. No, but you're under arrest. Couldn't wait for me to park the car? I could see he was armed and heading into this building. What's so special about this building? Carla Petro was arrested here once. It was thought that her employers kept an apartment here so that the girls could entertain clients. Just the kind of place Libena might go to hide? You got this all wrong. I'm just here to serve a summons. Yeah, right. Tendu? Libena? Police are here. You're safe. Show your badge. You gonna tell me why I'm looking at a map of Canada? In a minute. We know what you do for a living, Mr. Godwyn. Your business card may say "legal investigator," but you're a fixer. When your law firm or their clients have a problem, you make the problem go away. HOLMES: You were suspected in the sudden, inexplicable death of the jury foreman on the Himmelman case. You were accused of threatening witnesses in Brust v. Zerakem, bribing a judge in the LexGo Glass lawsuit. Three indictments, no convictions. A winning streak which, I assure you, is about to come to an end. Man named Owen Tuchman was beaten to death late Thursday night. Surveillance cameras recorded you in and around his hotel at the time of the murder. And the gun we found in your possession looks like a perfect match for the one used to pistol-whip the victim. It's not too late to cut a deal. We still don't know which of your firm's lawyers ordered the hit on Tendu. You give us a name... I don't know what you're talking about. Why would anyone from my firm want me to kill some Eskimo? HOLMES: Global warming. Your presence here is the result of, uh, let's call it, um... "the reverse butterfly effect." You may be aware, the actual butterfly effect is small, local events having strikingly large consequences. A butterfly flaps its wings in the Congo and triggers a hurricane in New York. That kind of thing. But the inverse is also true. Large-scale events can have small, local consequences. For example, fossil fuel emissions melt arctic ice, opening Canada's formerly ice-clogged Northwest Passage to commercial shipping. Cargo companies can, uh, save billions of dollars a year on fuel now by exploiting this new, shorter route. But only if they can secure land rights along the Northwest Passage for new ports. BELL: We understand your firm was hired to secure those ports. If they pull it off, the partners stand to make millions in commissions. HOLMES: Unfortunately for them, the indigenous residents of the Northwest Passage, specifically the villagers of Maniitok, are loath to relinquish their ancestral lands-- a fact which led to you being ordered to shoot a young Inuit in the head. Now, you can either let this butterfly-induced hurricane land entirely on you, or you can point us to whichever lawyer flapped his or her wings and blew you to Tendu's door. Well, sorry to sound like a broken record, but like I said, Raina's not great at being on time. Well, actually, Raina's not gonna be joining us today. We've been doing some digging, Ms. Lundquist. It turns out your work at the Animal Salvation Fund is completely pro Bono. Your day job is contract law at Mather and Kline. According to this, your current assignment is to secure port locations along the Northwest Passage for a company called Newhall Transocean. Now, if you manage to succeed, you're in line to make partner. GREGSON: A partner at a white-shoe firm like Mather and Kline makes millions of dollars a year. WATSON: But securing the ports hasn't been easy, has it? The locals are poor, and they're attached to their traditions. So you volunteered your legal services to an animal rights group here in New York and managed to convince them to pursue a ban on seal hunting. GREGSON: Ban like that would've wrecked the locals' traditional way of life. They would've been forced to either relocate or seek new income. You were hoping that they'd fold and agree to Newhall's port deal. WATSON: But Tendu Otolik's Sealfies turned public opinion against the ban. So, when you switched to Plan B and tried to buy the village outright, he stopped that, too. He sent money home in exchange for a promise from the village elders to never agree to Newhall's port. No way were you gonna make partner after that. Not unless you could make Tendu go away. Which brings us to your fixer, Kurt Godwyn. No, no, you see... Save it. We've already got a full confession from Mr. Godwyn. You might want to call your firm. You're gonna need a good lawyer. Hey. Hey. I wanted you to know that boy Lucien won't be bothering you no more. Me and him, we had a... talk. A talk? Sometimes that's all it takes. Chivonne? You won't have no more problems with him. I promise. Thanks. I liked walking you home the other day. I was thinking maybe we can make it a habit. Don't. Don't what? I know what you want. For you and me. But I can't do it. What you did doesn't change things between us. It doesn't make us family. I came to you because I had to. Do you understand? I understand. You do what you need to do. ♪ ♪ ♪ I'm guilty ♪ ♪ I'm guilty, yeah. ♪ == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man What is this really about? Well, we're just trying to clarify the circumstances of your husband's death. Troy had cancer. He died. Seems pretty clear to me. Your client is a primary suspect in a murder investigation. Define "cooperate." He wears a wire. I think it's really unprofessional of you to come to a counseling session high. Don't go. Please. I can't trust you anymore. I guess I'd say that. Is this your mom's? The best thing to do when your mom's a drug dealer is to just pretend it's not happening. The first time I did this, I was 16, with my mother. Your mother didn't die of cancer, did she? I really thought I knew you. Sid Thomas-Haye, gunshot wound to the upper thigh. Did you have anything to do with that guy's disappearance? Yes. I'll take him from here. Come on, Grady. It's too late. - Oh, God. - Ugh! Poor Sid. We are going to get caught, and I cannot get caught. Remember yesterday, when I told you to leave me and my family alone? I meant it. I want answers about my son. What he needed was someone to say, "Keep fighting." Instead, he found someone that said, "You can give up." Well, look who it is, the Angel of Death. I want a new partner. Do you think our past dictates our future? Everything that's happened in our lives has brought us to this moment here, you asking me to help you kill people. That would be the past dictating the present, and no, I think we have more control than that. How much do people pay? $10,000. And Desmond? Des is out. He's an addict. I can't rely on him. I want to keep doing this, so I need a supplier and I need a partner. Why do you want me to be your partner? I've come to accept certain things about the work I do. It's dangerous. I need protection, which I think you can provide. Mm-hmm. But it's up to you. Uncle Grady? Hey, monkey, what are you doing out of bed? I had a bad dream. - Monsters again? - Yeah. Hey, come here. I got ya. I got ya. It was really scary and they were chasing me. It's okay, baby. There's nothing wrong. Maya... I'd like you to meet my friend, Mary. Hi. You know what I do when I have a bad dream? I go right back to sleep, or else the monsters win. To our future. Mary Kills People Episode 5 Dr. Jeffrey, to Admitting. Dr. Jeffrey, Admitting. Look, I said I was out. I know, I know. I respect your decision. This is for Morgan. He was your patient. He talk about medieval torture? In disturbing detail. Big weirdo. Well, see ya. Annie, wait. You just said you respected my decision. It's not about that. I have a favor to ask you. A favor for you is like the kiss of death. I need you to go to this address and babysit on this guy for the day, make sure he stays sober. - Not interested. - I'll pay you. Look, I know I'm an asshole. And I've been reckless... but everything I've done was to try to protect us. And I can fix this, but I need your help. Who is he? He's a friend. $50 an hour. You really will be a millionaire one day, Annie. I know. Hey, I bet this is one of them self-melting driveways. Yeah. I bet you should've been a football player. Yeah. Mrs. Dixon? What's going on? We have a warrant to search the premises. Thank you. Hi. Thank you for meeting me. I didn't know I had a choice. I want to take you somewhere. You know, you can't just take me out of class because you decided to just take a stab at being a mother today. You know, like, I could have tests and stuff. Do you have a test today? - No. - Okay. Well, then, come on. Come in! Christ. Did I order you? No. Mary did. She hired me to help make sure that you stay clean. Said you had somewhere to be later. I-I don't know if I'm hallucinating or dying, but either way, I like the view. Hello, Angel. It's Annie. And you look exactly like I thought you would. Dashing. Depraved. Okay, that's enough standing. Come on. Now, sit. Stay. Drink this. It's a protein shake. I don't want it. Drink it. Fine. God, you're so bossy. Force of habit. I'm a nurse. Wait, you're that Annie? I'm calling my lawyer. This is ridiculous. I already told you everything. Well, You didn't tell us that your husband withdrew $10,000 three days before his death. Yeah, that's right, we have access to his financial records as well. Maybe you do need to call your lawyer. You didn't tell us about this either. I did... I didn't do anything. You withheld information. I can only think of one reason why you'd do that. Because Troy had help ending his life. You were there. Yeah, well, I wasn't there. My husband needed me and I wasn't there. A few weeks before he died, he came apart. He said he couldn't take it anymore. He wanted it to end. So he asked you to help him die. And instead of listening to what he wanted, I got angry. And we had this huge fight. I told him he was selfish. Why didn't you tell us about it? Because I realized that he'd found someone to help him do what he wanted, someone to help him die. And I was grateful. I'm sorry. It's the station. Excuse me. Wesley. - Prentice here. - And Hull. - Yeah? - We found the body. Can you be more specific? Sid Thomas-Haye. Guy who escaped from the hospital. Found him in a Yukon XL, single shot to the head. Okay, nice work. Not so nice for him, but could be good for you. We found his phone. A burner cell... clean, except for one missed call, so we ran that number. Name came up as part of the Harris investigation. What's the name? Morgan Lewis. Got any ideas why this Sid guy and Morgan might be connected? Sid had a charge for possession. Maybe he was Morgan's dealer. We got probable cause. Morgan, you home? Morgan? Frank, I got something. Yeah? What do you got? Car service receipt. Looks like Morgan took a cab to the Larimar Hotel last night. Maybe he got drugs and a hooker. One last hurrah. I know that look. He went to meet Mary. All right, let's go check out the Larimar. I already told Mary, that I don't want anything to do with your business or any of it. Okay, well, you did at one point. Mary would never force anyone into this. Why did you do it in the first place? I work in the ICU. I deal with the heaviest shit in the hospital... People at their worst, their most desperate. Before Mary, there was only so much I could do for them. Handing them that pamphlet, it gave them... - Comfort. - Yeah. Also I want a million dollars. Uh, what? I have financial goals. How much do you have so far? Oh, come on, I'm not gonna rob you. It's too much work. - Not enough. - Enough for what? Freedom. So you're breaking the law for freedom? The law is wrong, and it will change. Until then, there's no reason that I shouldn't supplement my income. Then why stop? I have this vision. Me, Mary, and now you, all of us in the woods somewhere, like a camp. No, a retreat. A death retreat. People come from all over the world to experience the finest death possible, from the best of the best. Sounds kind of nice. Did you bring me here to stare at the lake? No, I brought you out here to understand why you're so angry with me. You know, you're at the age I was when my mother was really sick, right before she died. Before she killed herself? Yeah. It happened right there. I was 16. I was so angry. I remember feeling like everything was always about her, you know, she was so consumed with her own life, her own misery, and Jess, I don't want you to ever have to feel that way. I want you to know that you can come to me about anything whenever you want. Jess, I can tell you're in pain. What's going on? It's Naomi. What do you mean? We just have a complicated relationship. I love her. Like, I mean, like, I'm in love with her. Or I thought I was, I don't know. I thought she... She loved me too, but sh... Oh, honey. I'm sure she does love you in her own way. And if she doesn't, it's her loss. I mean, who could not love you? You're perfect. I am? Jess, you're perfect in every way. Why did you lie for her? What do you mean? Naomi took the drugs, you know, the drugs you had in your shed for Casper? She told me, she told me that you lied for her. Why would you do that? That wasn't a lie, that was doctor/patient confidentiality. - She didn't... - No, that's bullshit. A mom would tell another mom something like that. Just please tell me the truth. Okay. Okay, I was scared. I was scared if your dad and Louise found out that I had left that stuff lying around, I could lose you and Cambie. That could happen? Yes. That's why I didn't tell anyone. But Jess, I can, and I will if it would make your life easier. I thought you were lying because you were a drug dealer. Honey, I'm not a drug dealer. I know. That must have been really hard growing up without a mother. Like, with all your flaws still, I couldn't imagine life without you, so. Well, you don't have to. Mr. Lewis did request a late check out, but... It's urgent. Since he's not answering the hotel phone, - I can let you in. - Uh, actually, - we should probably go in alone. - Yeah. - Room 214. - Thank you. Shit. What do you think? I think Mary finally figured out a way to kill Morgan. Holy shit. You got more and more beautiful since I last saw you. How do you do that? What is your secret? It's youth. And she's clever too. I haven't seen you forever. Mom, can I stay for a bit? Yeah, if it's okay with Nicole. I'm gonna put you to work if you're gonna stay, so get changed, and there's an extra pair of gloves by the door. Okay. Don't dig too deep, okay? Why? Is this where you're hiding all the bodies? Kind of. Remember when Mom had that problem with the morning glories? Yeah, she was obsessed. I mean, they're beautiful, but she said there was too much of them, too much beauty. Yeah. If you don't control them, they end up taking over the whole garden, strangling all the other plants. So you have two options. You can either pull them all out, start fresh, or you can ride the chaos. So which is it for you, Mary? If anything ever happened to me, you'd take care of them, right? Normally I'm not usually happy to see to see a dead man but I'm happy, I really am. Finally got a body. Yeah. Well, if pento shows up in the autopsy, then it's over, right? She basically handed us the case. We rattled her with the wire, she slipped up. Frank Gaines. Mr. Bennett. How can I help you? Okay. Meet me at the station. Desmond Bennett wants to make a statement. Probably wants to make a deal. Can't wait to wipe that smug British grin off his face. Cool. I'll wait for forensics. - Yeah? - Yeah, and then I'll go arrest our girl. All right. My patients... Morgan Lewis, Ethan Grant, Troy Dixon. What's this? That's a video statement. Each patient has one. Is physical evidence really a good idea? We decided we needed an insurance policy. In case we ever got caught, we have a legal contract and statement that proves the patient gave consent. You think this is gonna hold up in court? I hope I never have to find out. How do we find our patients? They come to us. Well, we're gonna have to do something about that, maybe hire some death dealers. I'm not soliciting death. You should be. What else? Now we practice injections. Hold your arm out. You're a funny girl. Relax, it's saline. I think you misunderstand the nature of our relationship here, Mary. I provide the supplies, you provide the service. If we're gonna be partners, we need to share the risk. Same deal I had with Des. So you need to know how to do this. I know how to do it. Properly. Like a doctor. How about if I inject you? Whole purpose is for me to show you. You can talk me through it. First, you have to find a good vein. Press up and down gently. Mm-hmm. This will expand the vein and make it easier to see. Just like people. You apply enough pressure and they show what they really are. Now take the syringe. Insert the needle. Pull back slightly to show a bit of blood. That's good. You want a slow and steady release. Too fast, you'll send the body into shock. You always remember your first time, right? We should celebrate... our partnership. Want a drink? Can I use your bathroom? Yeah, just down the hall. Let me get this straight. Your dealer is behind this whole thing. That's right. Grady Burgess. Because you owe him money. All of a sudden you had to get this off your chest, huh? To be honest, it wasn't really my idea. After yesterday, Mary found out that I was using again, and she hired a private nurse to come to my house and make sure I stayed clean. Nice friend. She demanded... That I come down here and I-I tell you the truth. And what is the truth, Desmond? Mary. Mary, I was just about to call you... I'm in trouble. What... what do you mean? Grady Burgess, Des's dealer. I came to see to him to tell him to leave Des alone. Help me, please. He drugged me. He's going to kill me. Okay, stay on the line, okay? Keep talking to me. Where are you? 1287 Monu-ment... Monument. Mary? Mary? Shit. So you're saying Mary had... nothing to do with this. Mm-hmm, that's right. The truth is, I couldn't pay my drug debt because of the whole lost license ordeal. Grady knew about my work with the terminally ill. He said that if I gave him our client list that he'd forgive me my debt, which I did, which was... stupid. Go to Grady's house. You'll find a vault full of drugs, including pentobarbital. You like scotch? I do. Here. Cheers. We're both healers, you and me. We help people end their suffering. Give them a moment of euphoria and take away their pain. I thought he just wanted to sell them pain relief, you know? Weed, morphine. I guess he saw an opportunity. To kill people? Must be an entrepreneurial genius. Well, if you think about it, he... he is. I mean, apparently, people are willing to pay top dollar for a good death. You know, it's true, what you said. You never forget your first injection. Mine was Yvonne. ALS. You know what that is? Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis. You shouldn't underestimate me, Mary. Yet you didn't... you didn't think to mention any of this when we were in this very room together. Okay, you see, the way I saw it, I had two options. One was to tell the police... tell you that I'm a drug addict. Two, wear the wire, and I could prove that Mary and I are just ordinary end-of-life counselors. You lose all control, limb by limb, organ by organ... until you can't breathe. Is that where you come in? To take back control? Or else the monster wins. You said that was saline. It was. You're a smart man, Detective, smarter man than I. Why do you think you have nothing on us? Because there's nothing to be had When I killed Sid... I looked him in the eye and I told him that he was going to die. So just tell me the truth. You do realize that we can still charge you for accessory. Confessing won't change that. Oh, I'm prepared to accept whatever the punishment may be. If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead. Tell me there was pento in the needle. There was. Watered down pento. Hmm. I don't understand the game, Mary. The only crime that Mary's guilty of is trying to protect me. Save me, really. She can't help herself. It's just what she does. We're not the same, you and I. You sell drugs to addicts. You murdered Sid. You came after my daughter! You're not a healer. You create pain. I don't like games, Mary. Police! Put the weapon down! Mary, you okay? Mary? I need something to stop the bleeding. Here. You okay? I'll call the ambulance, okay? Mary. - Yeah, hey, this is Detective Ben Wesley. - Help me. Help me. I need an ambulance to 1287 Monument Drive. Yeah, male, 40s, gunshot wound to the chest. Help me. Help me. Help me. I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do. And then he pinned me down and shot me with pento. And I really thought, "This is it." And it's true, you know, that cliche? Your life really does flash before your eyes. And then you were there. Uh, look, we can take it from here. We'll get the results back shortly. Okay. I'm glad you're okay. Am I okay, Ben? Ma'am. I'm here to take you home. Yeah, wait, you sure you don't need to go to a hospital? I'm sure. I'm a doctor, remember? Yeah. Grady's gun is a 9-mil, same as the bullet we found in Sid Thomas-Haye. Yeah, we're gonna have ballistics compare. Okay, good. I think we just solved a murder. The sun is in our eyes and in our hearts even when it's night and when it's dark. The moon still glows, the stars still shine, Now and forever until the end of time. What do you think? I think you need to dig deeper. What does that mean? I can't tell you that. It's just, like, part of the journey. You look pretty, Mama. Thank you, baby. I'm gonna go get my notebook, okay? I wrote more poems. That's great. So, keep an eye on Jess and Naomi, shut down any fist fights, and... Yeah, I shouldn't be too late. So are you still in business? As a doctor, I remain a member of society with a special obligation to all of my fellow human beings. I don't think you have to be a doctor to have that obligation. What do you mean? I want in. We could be partners. I already have a partner. Well, then I'll be your receptionist. It doesn't work like that. Mary, I need a career change, and we'd make a great team. Let's talk about this later, shall we? You need me. I love you. Hey, where are you going, anyway? A funeral. Think it's good for him to watch that video. I mean, it's... worth more than a conviction, right? Grady Burgess had the patients' videos, the files, the pento, the whole operation. We have enough evidence to close off all three cases. We seized $1.2 million in drugs from Burgess's place. Thought the chief was gonna plant a big wet one on me. Yeah, hopefully got Des on the accessory charge, so that's good. Eh, if it all works out. You know, put his ass in jail for a while. Although his lawyer did request our files. As for Mary, she'll be crazy to counsel anyone ever again. Yeah. Yeah, she would be crazy. I don't know if anyone's ever gonna see this, but I, Ethan Grant, choose to take my life. Can I say more? Can I say why? I want my family to know, there's nothing that I would've done differently, so please, forget about the trials... and the treatments and... And that one more year that I didn't get. Just... just know that... That I love you all. I have no regrets. Are you ever gonna talk to me again? Talking to you right now. I didn't mean to start a fight with you, Jess. I didn't mean for any of it. I just thought we were... experimenting, or whatever. I guess it started that way, but... I thought it was more than that. Well, it... wasn't... for me. And that maybe sounds bitchy or something, but I'm just being honest. Well, I honestly think that you're a train wreck. Hi. Hey. You look nice. Thank you. I'm glad you called. Yeah. Um, I called to give you... this. Found it... Grady's, yeah. He asked me to take my shirt off to see if I was wearing a wire, and the mouse ears, I don't know. You don't have to do that anymore. Case is closed. Okay, so how does it work, the dying part? Well, in Switzerland, a doctor would give a patient such as yourself a lethal dose... - Oh, my God. - Of sodium pentobarbital with a drink. There is no pain, no suffering, you just fall asleep. An option is to go to Switzerland and be what they call a death tourist, and fly... So? Did you ever find out if your mom was a drug dealer? Oh, yeah, she's like a kingpin. She has a whole empire. You're such an idiot. Hey. Who's cat is that? It's Casper. I gotta go out of town, for another job. How long will you be gone? Maybe a few months. And who will you be this time? Hard to say. You love it, don't you? What? The thrill of a new case. I'll see you around. Don't fall for your target. What are you watching? Ooh. Porn? No, it's just something for this case. Mm. I'll get it out of you. Right. Oh! You're late. Yeah, I had to meet someone first. Mm-hmm. Someone tall, ruggedly handsome, carries a gun? Keep your enemies close. Yeah, I'll bet you kept him close. Duly and diligently. Hey. I'm glad you guys could make it. Wouldn't miss it. Morgan was one of our favorite clients. Yeah. You know, the day we met at his place was the day he died. Yeah, we heard that. Sorry he had to go through it alone, you know? Oh, he wasn't alone. Well, no man is an island. We are all... connected. Right. This should be a good show. Yeah, it's just like Morgan, going out with style. S-s-so, Annie was a doll. Glad you two had fun. We had some interesting conversations. Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm, about the business model. What we've been doing right, wrong, how to expand, where to get more pento. I had a feeling you'd get her back onside. I can be very convincing. Mmm. I love funerals. Nothing like staring death in the face to make you feel alive. Watch the Series Premiere of The Blacklist Redemption, Thursday on Global. Scottie Hargrave is in charge of a global intelligence gathering operation. You should know, I have anger issues. Hey. Hey. Hey. Take it easy. You're hired. You want me to work for you? We could do incredible things together. You really know how to push my buttons. Welcome to the family. Your sister's response is a typical consequence of loss, numbness that follows a period of intense grief. Losing one's parents, especially so suddenly, can be deeply disorienting. Rest is what she needs. At Rosewood, she will have the benefit of time and privacy to recuperate. I don't see why, if rest and recuperation is what you prescribe, we couldn't simply repair to the coast as usual. Or if warmer weather is what she needs, we could go to Italy. Isabel, you love Venice this time of year. - You know that would remind me too much of Mother and Father, - But an institute? That seems so severe. - Rosewood is more akin to a resort spa than a typical hospital. Ladies of good repute routinely make use of its services. - Dr. Torrington is right. I... I should be somewhere I can reflect and work on myself. Someplace safe. - The staff of the institute is finely trained in the latest advancements in medicine. And my dear friend Dr. Cairn is at the forefront of psychiatric treatment. - If it's what you recommend. We trust you. - I assure you, our dear Isabel is in safe hands. At the Rosewood Institute, we employ the finest doctors on this side of the Atlantic. We work at the forefront of the scientific world. Nowhere will you find better, more attentive care. We cater to the best families in Baltimore. And your dear sister, Mr. Porter, shall find... - Please. Roderick. - Your dear sister, Roderick, shall find exactly the caring, supportive environment which she needs. - Yes, this will do nicely. This is where I will sit as I write you letters. - Let me introduce you to one of our physicians. Dr. Jacobs? Dr. Jacobs is our newest addition to our staff. He's a leading researcher into new advances in medical technologies. - Madam Werner's too kind. I am but a humble practitioner of the healing arts. It's a pleasure to meet you... - Isabel. - Isabel. - Dr. Jacobs, there's a private matter I wish to discuss with you. Um, Nurse Oaks? - Yes, Madam? - My apologies. Nurse Oaks, please show them the garden. Yes? - It would be my pleasure. Please, come this way. Yes, Dr. Jacobs, there is the private matter that I would... - Right this way, please. You'll find this is a lovely spot to come read a book or just enjoy the view of the woods. The gardens are lovely, don't you think? - Roderick. - They're quite nice, I must admit. - Yes, indeed. - What order shall be taken - with the prisoners? - Shoot them in the head. I suspect witchcraft in the beast. Where the evil which thou has driven to mingle with my being will slip away like a dream. - Lucy, this is not a good time. - Like the fragrance of these poisonous flowers... which will no longer taint my breath in the Garden of Eden. - Is that Hawthorne? - What do you mean? - You were quoting one of Mr. Hawthorne's Twice-Told T ales, were you not? - I do not know what you speak of. Did he send you? Is this a test? - There you are, Lucy. My apologies, Nurse Oaks. It won't happen again. - Thank you. - Did I fail? - No. - I-I'm sorry. Um... Did I fail? You won't tell them... - Most patients come to Rosewood in order to relax and recuperate away from the harsh... day-to-day life outside of these gates. Some patients, however, they're faced with more... advanced challenges. But not to worry, patients like that are kept in a separate wing from ladies such as yourself, Miss Porter. Shall we? - Of course. - And if you decide you don't like it, I'll come right back. - Okay. - Okay? That girl looked really disturbed. Are you sure you want to stay? - Roderick, do quit your ceaseless worrying. This is just what I need. I feel better already. - I'll come visit you soon. Take care. - Perhaps you'd like some tea? - Oh, that sounds wonderful. - Now you just let Gunther know when you're ready, and he'll show you to your quarters. It can be easy to get lost here until you know your way around. - Thank you. - She seems rather a bore. Is she anyone of note? Porter, have you heard of her? Exactly. Nouveau riche. - Excuse me, Gunther. - Mm-hmm. - What's down that way? - That wing is forbidden for a woman like you. Oh. This way. This is a... this spot's reserved. - Oh, anywhere is fine. - Oh... Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. If you need any... anything at all, you... Oh. Thank you. Isabel... Isabel. Isabel. I apologize for the unorthodox introduction. I'm Dr. Cairn. - Oh. - I wanted to make sure that all your needs are being seen to. - Oh, yes. The institute is... lovely. - I'm happy that you're pleased. You may be feeling stress. So... this tonic may calm your nerves. How are you responding to the tonic? - I feel better already. Lighter. - Good. Be warned, you may experience unusually vivid dreams as a side effect of the medication. - All right. - You get some rest. We'll begin our first session tomorrow. Drink. Please describe your... affliction. - Ever since my parents' accident, their passing I've had anxiety... - Mm-hmm. ...insomnia. Uh... my doctor thinks... - Dr. Torrington. - Yes, sir. He feels that my afflictions were not mere products of my grief, but manifestations of more latent maladies. This is why he felt I would benefit from your care. - And which latent maladies did he identify? - I have often been called wilful, overly curious. I'm told that my flights of fancy are not becoming of a lady. These character flaws, he believes have evolved into my current difficulties. - And what do you think of the doctor's assertion? - My brother has always said that... - I don't care what your brother thinks. What do you think? - I want to be a good daughter and a good sister. I do. But I cannot accept curiosity as a mark against my character. And isn't imagination the sign of an active intellect? I know too much independence is not becoming of a lady, but it just... - There is nothing wrong with you, Isabel. You are independent. It is your nature, not a malady. You are dissatisfied because your life constrains you. - You say it so plainly. I'm ashamed to seem ungrateful for what I have. But I just... want... - You just want to be free. - Exactly. - Hmm. - Thank you. - Isabel! - Roderick. - My darling sister. You are a sight for sore eyes. How are you? Have you settled in nicely? - I have. It's everything that we hoped it would be. - And how is the famous doctor? - The medication is helping already. I... I already feel much more at ease. - Uh, little bird? Where'd you go? - I'm sorry. Dr. Cairn says it's a part of the healing process, the side effect as I adjust to the medication. - Well, perhaps some, uh, fresh air will help. Would you like to take a walk? Let's enjoy the beautiful gardens. You lead the way. Who are you? I'm Edith. The lady of the May. - Mm-hmm. - Walking through the woods to meet my love this day in Marymount. - Good. And what do you see, Lady Edith? Focus. You must see through her eyes. - I see... I see fawns and nymphs. They're transformed into brutes. They dance around the maypole where we shall be married. They are the devils in ruined souls that people the black wilderness. - Good. Now, Lady Edith, what is your family's relation to evil? - We are well acquainted with evil. These darks and monsters are my brethren, maddened by their troubles into a gay despair like evil spirits in the presence of a dread magician. - Good. Now you will awaken... as Lucy. Now tell me, Lucy, is the night's ritual a dream... or a reality? - I... I don't... - Ugh! - A dream? - Are you trying to fail? Are you doing this on purpose? Are you trying to spite me? - The men and women have seemed very pleased with my performance. - They've been pleased. They've been pleased with your performance? This isn't a performance. I don't want you to act. I want you to become! And if you can't do that, you're worthless to me. This session's over. - No. I'm sorry. I... I won't disappoint you. I'm sorry. Please, Doctor! - Your medication, Miss Porter. - Thank you, Gunther. - What book are you reading, miss? - Oh, it's Edgar Allan Poe. - Why would a lady like yourself fancy such grim materials? - The tales may be dark, I know what you're saying, but... through them, he asks questions of humanity in situations most extreme. In plumbing these depths, he... holds up a mirror to our own lives. - You're a very thoughtful woman. - Thank you, Gunther. - If you ever need anything ever you just let me know. - Ah! - Isabel. - Oh, Dr. Jacobs. - Calm yourself. - Oh, thank God. There's a man in there! There's blood everywhere! I... I just... - Dr. Lemelle. Our surgeon. What are you doing out of your room this time of night? - I heard a noise, so I came to see what... - Came to see what evil lurks in these halls at night? - No. I'm sorry. Let's see what frightened you. It's okay. Come. Dr. Lemelle, allow me to introduce Miss Porter, our new patient. Isabel is new to her medication and she had a bit of a fright watching you work. - It was the noise. - It was still alive. It's distasteful, yes, but it's the only way to procure a fresh specimen. - Poor thing. - Perhaps. But I cannot sally forth and saw at the skulls of dainty, melancholic humans for my research, can I? - No. - Come, Isabel. Let's leave the good doctor to his work. Here we are. - Thank you. - Safe and sound. Do not wonder the halls in a place like this. Yes? - Yes. - Good night, Miss Porter. Scream and I will slit your throat! Please don't hurt me! - Hurt? No, no. I need you to help me. I need to escape. There's no leaving. They will find me. The wolves, they will find me. - Let me try to find Dr. Cairn for you. - I have failed him! Because I do not know whether night is a dream, and he hates me, and now he's going to give me to them like he did with the others. They are going... to sacrifice me to the demons! - It's all right. It's all right. You're just imagining things. Everything is going to be okay. - What the devil is going on in here? ! - My apologies, ma'am. This poor girl is clearly suffering from some kind of delusional attack. - Lucy... you cannot hurt me. - I can. I will! - You can't. Gunther. No! Let go of me. The wolves! The wolves! No! The wolves... - Thank you, sir. Porter. - Detective Thomas. Good to see you. - How're you doing? Good to see you. - I'm good. I'm good. Please, sit. - Sure. - How are you? - Oh, nothing a little whiskey can't take care of, right? I'm sorry to hear about your parents. My condolences. They were good people. - Thank you. Isabel has taken it especially hard. - Hmm. Sorry to hear that. Please give her my best. - I will. Truth be told, I found it necessary to temporarily place her in professional care. - Hmm. - I didn't want to, but Dr. Torrington thought it the best course of action. They say Rosewood is the best. What is it, Detective? - Nothing. Rosewood provides the best care money can buy. - Thomas, please. - Okay, I heard rumblings of strange occurrences many years ago, but they are mere rumours, nothing more. - Thomas, you would tell me if there were reason to be concerned, would you not? - Yes, of course I would. Of course I would tell you. Please, pay me no mind. When I drink, I speak heedlessly. Look, set your mind at ease, all right? Your sister's gonna be just fine. She's in good hands. - You. Have you seen me? This is not me! It's not me. - What are you doing in my pit? - I'm sorry. - Jesus, leave the poor girl alone, Rebecca. Time for your medication. - Thank you. - Don't mention it. - Nurse Oaks? - I'm sorry, Miss Porter. The door was supposed to be locked. Right this way, please. I heard you found your way into what the... staff so lovingly calls the pit. Were you lost? - No. I... I'd heard stories. It was foolish of me. I'm sorry. I was... simply curious. - Don't apologize for your curiosity. What'd you think when you were... faced with the reality of the healing process? - The reality of... I don't understand. - We live in times that are rife with ill mental health, especially among the upper class. To be blunt, we are a decadent people. This leads to a... imbalance as the mind and the flesh... fall out of rhythm with the animal instincts. These... women that... prance around as if this were a social club rather than... one of the world's foremost institutions of mental science, they don't want to heal. We let them parade around in their ridiculous costumes as they live out their lives out of joint with the rest of the world. On the other hand, there are some women here who have embraced their own healing. - The women in... the pit? - Yes. That is what true healing looks like. - It's very different than what I imagined. - Of course. If it were easy or... aesthetically pleasing, then everyone would do it. You and I are aligned in our ambitions. My life's work is transformation. I can give you the freedom you desire, but you will need to trust my methods, unorthodox though they may seem. Everything that happens at Rosewood... is done of one's own free will. If you're brave and you're willing I can help you become the person that you wish to be. Are you brave, Miss Isabel Porter? - I want to be. Yes. - Good. Come in. Miss Oaks, Dr. Lemelle. - We're going to be moving you into new quarters. - May I ask why? - Dr. Cairn believes that the first step in your rehabilitation is to cast aside old vanities. - You're ashamed, yes? - Uh... - Oh, dear, that is precisely the point. - Shame is a fallacy imposed upon us by society. It needs to be excised from the mind like any malignant disease. - Indeed. It's time that you demonstrated some responsibility for your own treatment. - I will do whatever it takes. - Will you? - Of course. - Good. Doctor. - Ah, thank you, Gunther. - Miss Porter. - What is this? - This is your new concoction. Dr. Cairn had it personally adjusted for you. - Thank you. - Very good. Please! Please don't do this! Where is Dr. Cairn? ! - Dr. Cairn has given you to me, my exquisite... pitiful little creature. - I'll do better, I promise. Please give me a second chance. Please, please. - Don't worry. This will all be over soon. This is a special day. - No, no, no. - A celebration. - No, no, no. - In your honour. - No. Life is changed, not taken away. Bodies grow slowly and die quickly. - How have your dreams been of late? - After my parents' passing, I had the most frightful nightmares. - Mm-hmm. - Now... my dreams are different. - Different how? Isabel, we spoke about this last week. Without complete honesty, the healing cannot take place. - Yes, sir. Lately, my dreams have been... strange. They feel so real, I hardly know where the dream ends and reality begins. - This is natural. A projection. Your mind fights against itself as it attempts to expunge the pain and grief you carry inside. You have internalized society's rules and limits. In order for you to achieve your desires, we must first strip away the guilt and shame and outdated mores that have taken residency within your very flesh and bones. - Yes. I think I understand. - Good. I trust the... increased dosage is agreeable? - I feel wonderful. I feel... liberated. - Then we're ready for the next stage of your treatment. - When do we start? - We start now. # You are going away # - You look quite festive, by the way. Darling, doesn't she look festive? Just delightful, you are. - Mr. Baxter? - Ah, Roderick. Hello. Are you visiting someone? - Uh, yes, my sister Isabel. She's convalescing. - Yes. Well, good day, Roderick. Great to see you. Come, my love. - Is this your daughter? - No, this is my wife, Mrs. Baxter. You haven't met? - Good day. - Uh, no, I meant the young girl. There. - This is our niece. She is lodging with us while my cousin's family is away overseas. - I remember you from my first visit here. Do you know my sister Isabel? - She's a shy girl. - She's very shy. Very shy. - Are you okay? - I'll be there. Go on. Well, it's so good to see you, Roderick. Best to the sister, yeah? Be well. You know, Isabel, I'm working on something very exciting. I'd like to invite you to my lab to see it. Dr. Cairn says that your progression has been remarkable, so not to worry. - I know my brother won't be pleased. - You're a strong girl. You don't need his approval. You understand? - Yes. - Mr. Porter. - Roderick. - Isabel, what are you wearing? Huh? Your fingers, they're filthy. - I know. - Who did this to you? Huh? - Roderick. - Mr. Porter. It is all part of the treatment. - Roderick, it's all right, it's all right. Can I speak to my brother in private for a moment? - I'll be right here if you need me. - Okay, thank you. Brother, do not worry. Everything is fine. Wonderful, in fact. Dr. Cairn made me understand that the root cause of my ailment is decadence. But I just feel so much more relaxed, and lighter even, just being around all these women who've truly embraced their healing. - Isabel, please! I can't follow a word you're saying. In fact, I think it'd be best if you came home. - No. I have to stay until I'm healed. - Of what? ! What sort of nonsense are they feeding you? - I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that you're afraid of what you don't understand, but I will not be leaving with you. Good day, brother. - Isa... - I'm afraid it's gonna be a while before Isabel's ready to receive another visit. - That is not for you to decide. - Mr. Porter, visits are made at the discretion of our patients. So we will let you know the next time your presence is requested here at Rosewood. Good day, Mr. Porter. "Detective Thomas... "I implore you to consider an investigation into Rosewood." - I'm going to put you in restraints. This is the next step in your treatment. You do trust me, don't you, Isabel? Good. Nurse Oaks? Please undo her gown. Reorienting the body's humours is a difficult process. We must begin with the most base reaction and work towards more complex emotions and cognitive arrangements. We'll start with the most primitive of feelings: pain. - Ah! - Isabel, look at me. It's a long path, but by the end, you will find the freedom that you seek. You are a brave woman, aren't you? You see, a woman like you has probably never felt real physical pain, have you? That... is a problem. And... another. God! The mind is an incredible organ. The body's senses and send signals to the brain, but how the brain interprets those signals is a matter of great delicacy. More of an art than a science, I believe. Most live their lives controlled by these impulses. But you don't have to. If we can rewire this most primitive instinct imagine what's possible. Complete authority over one's own mind. Limitless autonomy. Absolute power. We must strip away the last vestiges of your old self. And only then will you know real empowerment. Again. Congratulations. Welcome to the first day of your new life. Come in. Miss Porter. - May I ask you something? - Of course. - It's about Dr. Cairn. His methods are... I fear that I cannot do what he asks of me, that I will fail him, fail myself. - Look at you. Another spoiled rich girl. So eager to be his pet. Yet you come running, crying to me, the moment he pushes you. - I just thought... - You thought you'd quit? Just like every other vapid socialite he's wasted his talents on. I expect more of you. Do you understand me? - Mm-hmm. - Do you understand me? - Yes. - You may go. - Most of the women here, they're hardly cared for. Most of them are homeless. They don't have families. The doctors here aren't trying to heal them. They're just keeping them out of sight. Beats living in the gutter. At least here... you get fed. Did something happen with the doctor? - No, it's just... his methods are unorthodox. Never mind. I shouldn't be speaking about my treatment. - Are you all right, miss? - I'm fine. I came about Isabel. - Is something the matter? - Yes. I fear she's being manipulated. - Manipulated? - And the way they have her dressed, like she's some sort of common peasant... - Hmm. Roderick, I know what you're going through, with the loss of your parents, and now your sister, her illness. And I understand that you've taken over your father's business entirely on your own. Is that correct? - I did not come here to discuss myself. - And I appreciate that, but you mustn't underestimate the toll the past few months have taken on your own psyche. - I see. Thank you, Doctor. - Tell me, what is your name? - Isabel Porter. - That's incorrect. Where are you from? - Worchester. - Look at me. That's incorrect again. God! Ah! - Does that hurt? Does that hurt? No, that does not hurt. When one is nothing, one feels nothing. Okay? Again. I do this for your own benefit. Through me, you shall understand pain. Now. Good. - Sit up for me. Tonight you will face your final test. - Mr. Porter. - Mr. Avery. - I took a look at it. - And? - It's chockfull of laudanum and what I think is Indian root. And it appears to have trace amounts... of aconite. - Aconite? - Monkshood. Wolf's bane. A poison, Mr. Porter. Not enough to kill you, but certainly enough to have rather unpleasant effects... on your mind. - Congratulations. You found us. One final test... for your commitment. Who do you see? - Margaret. - And why do you think she's here? - She whispered lies into my mind, sowed doubts within me. She tried to turn me against you. - No, Isabel. - She must be punished. - Please. - You will be my star. Cleanse her with the lash. Her screams will be her sacrament of reconciliation. - Isabel, please! Please! Help me! Please help! Help! - Gunther. Where's Margaret? - Don't worry, ma'am. I'll take care of you. - You're home now. - Roderick. - So I looked into... - The Aconite Society. - Yeah. - And? - There are whispers of a secret order made up of society's wealthiest and most influential men. - And? - And whispers are about all anybody would say about it. - Thomas... if it's money you want, I'm in no short supply. - I don't want your money. - I'll make it worth your while. - Listen, I have some advice for you. Leave this alone. Even if half of these stories are true, they run everything: the courts, the papers, the banks. - All Rosewood? - I don't know. - Is Dr. Cairn one of them? - I don't know a Dr. Cairn. - What about the girl Lucy that I saw? Is Mr. Baxter involved with these people? - Listen to me. I don't want anything to do with this. - There's gotta be something more you can give me. Please. - That's all I can tell you. Goodbye. Tell me of this Isabel Porter. - She is weak... timid. Narcissistically concerned with petty trivialities. Unable to express her true self. - And do you wish to return to your life as Isabel? - No. I have to forget I was ever such a vapid creature. - Very good. You are tabula rasa incarnate. Do you understand the significance of what we've achieved? - Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. - You are ready for your new identity. - Hello, good man. I'm sorry to disturb you at this late hour, but is Mr. Baxter in? - No. I'm sorry. He's out. Was he expecting you, Mr... - No, sir. I was in the area and thought I'd call on him. - My apologies. Perhaps you could call on him another time? - Certainly. Thank you. - Good evening. - My sweet, pretty wife. Dost thou doubt me already, and we but three months married? - More. Your Faith doubts you. - Then God bless you. And may you find all well when you come back. - Say thy prayers, go to bed before dusk, and no harm will come to thee. Ah, my poor Faith. What a wretch am I to leave her. - You are Goodman Brown. Forget your past and become him entirely with every inch of your being. Go. Go. - Dearest heart, pray thee put off your journey till sunrise and sleep in your own bed tonight. - My love and Faith, of all nights in the year, this one night must I tarry away from thee. Bravo. You're ready. Only three weeks in, and you're already a better Brown than Lucy ever was. This will be greatest performance they've ever seen. - Performance? I don't understand. - Forgive me, Goodman. A momentary flight of fancy, nothing more. Come. You've been working all day in the field. You deserve some rest. - Oh, God. "Mr. and Mrs. Baxter, "you're invited... "9:00 at Rosewood. Aconite Society." Come, my dear. Are you ready to see? I've got a surprise for you, my love, something really exquisite. Feast, my dear, feast. Fe... Roderick. Ah! Ladies and gentlemen, as is customary before we begin, we'd like to offer you a token of our appreciation. - Dance with me. It is the order of things. We drink the poison, and in doing so, push back the darkness that surrounds us. We are, of course, gathered here to celebrate you, the Aconite Society, who have made so much possible both within and outside our walls. Tonight is a veritable miracle in modern science, for our star is no mere actress. She has been fully transformed shedding her previous identity... like an ill-fitting suit. I give you... "Young Goodman Brown." Begin. - Dearest heart, pray thee, put off your journey until sunrise and sleep in your own bed tonight. - My love and Faith, of all nights in the year, this one night must I tarry away from thee. My journey forth and back again must needs be done 'twixt now and sunrise. Oh, my poor Faith! She talks of dreams and now it is I who feel as though I walk through shadowed realms. - My Goodman. Come, let me guide you with my light. - There is a peculiarity in such solitude. With these lonely steps, I may be walking through unseen multitudes! What if the devil himself could be at my very elbow? I shall yet stand firm against the devil. Come witch, come wizard, come devil himself! And hear comes young Goodman Brown. You may as well fear him as he feared you! - Stop! Isabel! - Seize him! - Isabel. - Bind this creature to the altar. Now, are ye undeceived? Evil is the nature of mankind. - Isabel! - Evil must be thy only happiness. - Isa... - Welcome, children, to the communion of your race! No! Isabel! - I, young Goodman Brown... - Isabel, help! Help! -...stand before you with the devil as my witness. And promise to strike down any who seek to impede my destiny. - Isabel, it's me. Isabel, please! No! Ah! - Oh, Faith. What would I do without you? - Allison, will you please leave us? Faith, will you please leave us? Who are you? - A simple good man named Brown. - And at the coven, you spoke the lines of the devil. - Lines? I'm afraid I don't know what you mean. I admit that night in the woods is a bit of a blur. There was so much darkness. I'm just glad I was able to save my Faith. - Very well. It's a testament to your will that you were able to inhabit your role so fully. But now I need you to forget him. You are no longer Goodman Brown. And Allison is no longer your Faith. Do you remember the performance we had you do as part of your therapy? - I think so. I remember something about a a demon. - Mm-hmm. You did very well. It was evident that you're taking control of your own identity. Now I need to see if you can do another role. - Another role? - Soon you will be able to be whomever you want to be without limits. I'm going to keep you in the dark for now. But I'll let you know when you're ready. In the meantime, you'll have to trust me. - Of course. How's the device coming? The physics are impressive. It's just a question of... getting the device itself constructed. - Doctors. Dr. Lemelle, if you would excuse me, I'd like a word alone with Dr. Cairn. I trust this event will be worth the resources devoted to it. The inner circle came to see me today. Our benefactors are concerned you're shirking your duties. The flow of girls to the society members is the institute's lifeblood, yet you're spending all your time on one girl, and you've lost control of her. - They can face me themselves if they don't like my methods. - You forget yourself, Doctor. Rosewood and the society that supports it have existed long before you arrived. - That's true. But you'd just be an old maid prostituting deranged women for wealthy miscreants without me. So why don't you go back in and deal with your drapes and leave me to my art? - Very well Doctor. - Very well done, Dr. Lemelle. Very well done. - No. No. Isabel! - Roderick? - Please, no! - Roderick. Roderick, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - After all the girls I brought through this place you owe me. I want the Porter girl. - One would wonder if you had her admitted to have your way with her. - I've always loved that girl. - Let's say we revisit the topic of Isabel Porter's future after tomorrow night's event. - Hmm. Fine. How's the exposure? Should be fine. - I want her to hear it from you. I fear she has too strong of a connection to my voice. - I'm a surgeon. - It's not a request. - Fine. You are Mary Bradbury. You are awaiting trial for witchcraft and immorality of the highest order. Mary Bradbury, you are accused of crimes most heinous. Admit that you are wrong and repent or you will be condemned to murder by hanging. But of course what interests me, my dear, is how an evolution in identity can manifest itself in the amygdala. But then again, a tree is still a tree, is it not? - Mm, Gunther. - You need to eat, Mary. - Please... help me. If nothing else, kill me, please. Make this end. - You're gonna be... You're gonna be okay, Mary. You're gonna be okay. - "The gardens at midnight... beneath the gnome." - Isabel. - Ah! Foul demon, leave me be! - What's wrong with you? - He knows everything. You will tell him and he'll hurt me! - Isabel. Isabel. Please, you can trust me. - You keep calling me Isabel. I am Mary. But I remember you. Margaret! - Jesus Christ, what did they do to you? What did they do to you? - I dreamt I killed you. - I'm still here. - Did I hurt you? Margaret! No! How can it be? Why would you help me if I did this to you? - You're my friend. I know it wasn't you who did that. We can't stay here. You have to tell me everything. - Are you trying to shut down my performance? - You may have your event, if after the performance, you give up the girl. - That's ridiculous. - You've grown too attached. The society has decided that they will do with Isabel as they see fit. It's time for her to be placed. - I refuse. - I thought all these characters... I thought it was part of my therapy. But then I started having all these dreams, and some of them turned out to be real, like... like... like hurting you and and Roderick. I don't know what happened to Roderick. He did this to me. They need to be punished. But how? - Gunther. - You should go back to your room, Mary. - You fill the goblets for the society rituals? Please, help us, Gunther. - Thank you. - There's something you should know, ma'am, about one of the men who's judging you tonight. Look for the one that says "wolf's bane." - This? - Yes. - Hide, hide, hide. - What about you? - Don't worry about me. End this. - Why are you in here? - I don't know. - You don't know? Is the disgusting... repulsive little urchin sampling my wares? - No, no. - There are consequences for disobedience! - Tonight's the night. Together, my Mary we shall put on the performance of a lifetime. Let the trial begin. Mary Bradbury, you stand accused of crimes most heinous. Witchcraft, devilry, sins against the Lord. Admit what you have done and repent, or you will be sentenced to murder by hanging. - I didn't do anything. I didn't hurt anyone. - Yours is not the only soul on trial this day. You must also decide the fate of Susanna Sheldon, the young lady you brought down with your unholy ways. - Mary... please save me. - I didn't make her do anything. - You lie. Susanna, tell the judges the truth. - Mary Bradbury kidnapped me and forced me to commit sins against the Lord. But... - What is it, Susanna? - Truthfully I enjoyed it. - Do you see what your lies have wrought? They've turned the purity of an innocent girl into the devil's plaything. - I didn't. I... - You lie! Confess! - No, you are a liar, Dr. Cairn. You lied to me. You took my faith away from me. You are a monster. - As chief magistrate, I demand you go back to your position. You're still under trial. - I am innocent of what I am accused of tonight, but there is something else to which I must confess. From a young age, this man was not only my trusted physician, but the object of my lust. He was a friend of my father's and forbidden to me. But in my innermost desires, I burned for him. He is here tonight. In fact, he is the very man who brought me here to Rosewood. Torrington... come. Let us finally admit what has remained silent for so long. Please... let us be married in sin together. Come play our little game tonight. You will be rewarded later. - This is not the trial! - Now it is time for you to play your part. I can't wait to do this to you when we're alone tonight. I've dreamed of this evening since you were a young girl. - Isabel. - Tonight, the judges shall be judged. Dr. Cairn, this blade looks quite real. Calm yourself, Doctor. It's all part of the performance. - Tonight, you will all be on trial. Aconites, you call yourselves. Playing with people's lives while you pretend to drink monkshood, wolf's bane. Well, tonight you drank the real thing. - Dr. Cairn? Doctor... Dr. Cairn? Get me out of here. Dr. Cairn, get me out of here. - Run. You run far away from this place. You have to go. - Turn around! You won't hurt him. You can't. - Thank you for teaching me the meaning of pain, Nurse Oaks. Glad I could return the favour. - Isabel. That was quite a performance. - Hmm. - Do you know Hawthorne's "The Gray Champion"? - Yes. It's the story of a legendary warrior who comes to the aid of those oppressed by tyranny and injustice. - Yes. Yes. Exactly. This is your finest performance yet. You... you are The Gray Champion. - I am The Gray Champion? - Yes, this fine institution of... of healing has been overrun with decadence and filth, and... like an avenging angel, you have purified it. Don't you see? - This is still part of my treatment. - Yes, exactly. Exactly. This is all part of my plan. You and I have purified Rosewood. Now... you're finally home. Isabel. Isabel, you're healed. - I'm healed? - Yes. Yes. - Yes. Now I see. I am The Gray Champion. I've purified my home. - Bravo, Miss Porter. - You... you look like... - Isabel, it's a curious thing, appearances, isn't it? People don't look closely at anybody ma'am. - Gunther. Why? - I'm afraid that I have failed to properly introduce myself. I'm one of the four heads of the Aconite Society. The inner circle, as those unimaginatively like to call us - those in gowns and tuxedoes who imagine that they wield power, but they are nothing more than mere pawns, no different than you or any of the other girls in this despicable pit. Oh, if you could only know how long the wheels have been in motion to bring you to Rosewood. I cannot tell you... the last time my compatriots and I have been genuinely surprised by... anything. But you? You have been a pleasant surprise to all of us. Because of you, the institute will emerge stronger than ever before. And I would hate to see the doctor's good work go to waste, so we'll find another role for you soon enough, and you'll wake from this dream into another. But until that time the institute thanks you. Excuse me, Madam Porter? - Yes. - They're ready for you. - Thank you. Yoursister'sresponse isa typical consequenceofloss, numbnessthatfollows aperiodof intensegrief. Losingone'sparents, especiallysosuddenly, canbedeeplydisorienting. Rest is what she needs. At rosewood, she will have the benefit of time and privacy to recuperate. I don't see why if rest and recuperation is what you prescribe, we couldn't simply repair to the coast as usual? Or if warmer weather is what she needs, we could go to Italy. Isabel, you love venice this time of year. You know that would remind me too much of mother and father. But an institute? That seems so severe. Rosewood is more akin to a resort spa than a typical hospital. Ladies of good repute routinely make use of its services. Dr. torrington is right. I... I should be somewhere I can reflect and work on myself. Someplace safe. The staff at the institute is finely trained in the latest advancements in medicine. And my dear friend Dr. cairn is at the forefront of psychiatric treatment. If it's what you recommend, we trust you. I assure you, our dear Isabel is in safe hands. Attherosewoodinstitute, weemploythefinestdoctors onthissideoftheAtlantic. We work at the forefront of the scientific world. Nowhere will you find better, more attentive care. We cater to the best families in Baltimore. And your dear sister, Mr. Porter, shall find... Please. Roderick. Your dear sister, Roderick, shall find exactly the caring, supportive environment which she needs. Yes, this will do nicely. This is where I will sit as I write you letters. Let me introduce you to one of our physicians. Dr. Jacobs? Dr. Jacobs is our newest addition to our staff. He's a leading researcher into new advances in medical technologies. Madame Werner is too kind. I am but a humble practitioner of the healing arts. It is a pleasure to meet you. Isabel. Isabel. Dr. Jacobs, there's a private matter I wish to discuss with you. Um, nurse oaks? - Yes, madame? - My apologies. Nurse oaks, please show them the garden. Yes? It would be my pleasure. Please, come this way. Yes, Dr. Jacobs, there is the private matter that I would... Right this way, please. You'll find this is a lovely spot to come read a book or just enjoy the view of the woods. The gardens are lovely, don't you think? Roderick. They're quite nice, I must admit. Yes, indeed. What order shall be taken with the prisoners? Shoot them in the head. I suspect witchcraft in the beast. Where the evil which thou has driven to mingle with my being will slip away like a dream. Lucy, this is not a good time. Like the fragrance of these poisonous flowers, which will no longer taint my breath in the garden of Eden. Is that hawthorne? What do you mean? You were quoting one of Mr. hawthorne's twice-toldtales, were you not? I do not know what you speak of. Did he send you? Is this a test? There you are, Lucy. My apologies, nurse oaks. It won't happen again. Thank you. Did I fail? No. I... I'm sorry. Um... Did I fail? You won't tell him... Most patients come to rosewood in order to relax and recuperate away from the harsh day-to-day life outside of these gates. Some patients, however, they're faced with more advanced challenges. But not to worry, patients like that are kept in a separate wing from ladies such as yourself, miss Porter. Shall we? Of course. Andifyoudecide youdon'tlikeit, I'll come right back. Okay. Okay? That girl looked really disturbed. Are you sure you want to stay? Roderick, do quit your ceaseless worrying. This is just what I need. I feel better already. I'll come visit you soon. Take care. Perhaps you'd like some tea? Oh, that sounds wonderful. Now you just let Gunther know when you're ready, and he'll show you to your quarters. It can be easy to get lost here until you know your way around. Thank you. She seems rather a bore. Is she anyone of note? Porter. Have you heard of her? Exactly. Nouveau riche. Excuse me, Gunther. Mmm-hmm? What's down that way? That wing is forbidden for a woman like you. This way. This is a... This spot's reserved. Oh, anywhere is fine. Oh... mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. If you need any... Anything at all, you... Oh. Thank you. Isabel. Isabel. Isabel. I apologize for the unorthodox introduction. I'm Dr. cairn. Oh. I wanted to make sure that all your needs are being seen to. Oh, yes. The institute is lovely. I'm happy that you're pleased. You may be feeling stress. So this tonic may calm your nerves. How are you responding to the tonic? I feel better already. Lighter. Good. Be warned, you may experience unusually vivid dreams as a side effect of the medication. All right. You get some rest. We'll begin our first session tomorrow. Drink. Please describe your affliction. Ever since my parents' accident, their passing, I've had anxiety... Mmm-hmm. Insomnia. My doctor thinks... Dr. torrington. Yes, sir. He feels that my afflictions were not mere products of my grief, but manifestations of more latent maladies. This is why he felt i would benefit from your care. And which latent maladies did he identify? I have often been called willful, overly curious. I'm told that my flights of fancy are not becoming of a lady. These character flaws, he believes, have evolved into my current difficulties. And what do you think of the doctor's assertion? My brother has always said that... I don't care what your brother thinks. What do you think? I want to be a good daughter and a good sister. I do. But I cannot accept curiosity as a mark against my character. And isn't imagination the sign of an active intellect? I know too much independence is not becoming of a lady, but it just... There is nothing wrong with you, Isabel. You are independent. It is your nature, not a malady. You are dissatisfied because your life constrains you. You say it so plainly. I'm ashamed to seem ungrateful for what I have. But I just want... You just want to be free. Exactly. Hmm. Thank you. Isabel. Roderick. My darling sister. You are a sight for sore eyes. How are you? Have you settled in nicely? I have. It's everything that we hoped it would be. And how is the famous doctor? The medication is helping already. I... I already feel much more at ease. Uh, little bird? Where'd you go? I'm sorry. Dr. cairn says it's a part of the healing process, a side effect as I adjust to the medication. Well, perhaps some, uh, fresh air will help. Would you like to take a walk? Let's enjoy the beautiful gardens. You lead the way. Whoareyou? I'mEdith. Theladyof themay . Mmm-hmm. Walkingthrough thewoodsto meetmylove thisdayin merrymount. Good. Andwhatdo yousee , ladyEdith? Focus. You must see through her eyes. I see... Iseefawnsand nymphs. They'retransformed intobrutes. Theydancearoundthe maypole whereweshallbemarried. Theyarethedevils inruinedsouls thatpeople theblackwilderness. Good. Now, lady Edith, what is your family's relation to evil? We are well acquainted with evil. Thesedarksandmonsters aremybrethren maddenedbytheirtroubles intoa gaydespair likeevilspirits inthepresence ofa dreadmagician. Good. Now you will awaken as Lucy. Now tell me, Lucy, is the night's ritual a dream or a reality? I... I don't... Ugh! A dream? Are you trying to fail? Are you doing this on purpose? Are you trying to spite me? The men and women have seemed very pleased with my performance. They've been pleased. They've been pleased with your performance? This isn't a performance. I don't want you to act. I want you to become. And if you can't do that, you're worthless to me. This session's over. No. I'm sorry. I... I won't disappoint you. I'm sorry. Please, doctor. Your medication, miss Porter. Thank you, Gunther. What book are you reading, miss? Uh, it's Edgar Allan poe. Why would a lady like yourself fancy such grim materials? The tales may be dark, i know what you're saying, but through them he asks questions of humanity in situations most extreme. In plumbing these depths, he holds up a mirror to our own lives. You're a very thoughtful woman. Thank you, Gunther. If you ever need anything ever, you just let me know. Isabel. Oh, Dr. Jacobs. Calm yourself. Oh, thank god. There's a man in there. There's blood everywhere. I... I just... Dr. lemelle. Our surgeon. What are you doing out of your room this time of night? I heard a noise, so I came to see what... Came to see what evil lurks in these halls at night? No. I'm sorry. Let's see what frightened you. It's okay. Come. Dr. lemelle, allow me to introduce miss Porter, our new patient. Isabel is new to her medication and she had a bit of a fright watching you work. It was the noise. It was still alive. It's distasteful, yes, but it's the only way to procure a fresh specimen. Poor thing. Perhaps. But I cannot Sally forth and saw at the skulls of dainty, melancholic humans for my research, can I? No. Come, Isabel. Let's leave the good doctor to his work. Here we are. Thank you. Safe and sound. Do not wander the halls in a place like this. Yes? Yes. Good night, miss Porter. Scream and I will slit your throat! Please don't hurt me. We need to build! Saying, but I didn't know you Were trying to go down a cliff. I can't go that way. This is the farthest you've Ever taken us out of nome. This is the biggest gold We're going after. Lookit. Everybody needs to get Their panties on, and let's go. We got 'em on. Right now, my dad and brother Don't believe. In a damned thing That I'm telling them. I mean, sure it would be easier To go somewhere else, But there's a million Dollars at the bluffs, And I'm gonna go get it, And there's no on That's gonna stop me. The only way I can lose Right now. Is if I get eaten By a grizzly bear. That's about it. Coming up... You want to grab one Of those samples, sam? Hell yeah. It's almost dark. We have no place to stay. We're not gonna freeze to death! I can figure it out. Gold mining in the bering sea. Is a tough way to make a living. You need to take chances And take risks, And do things that Normal people wouldn't do. My dad was the one that Originally started. The icemining idea. We've been doing it For 15 years. Dad built a little fish house, And then put a sixinch Dredge in there, and... That was the first time I ever went diving. About 10 minutes later, I come Up, and my lips were blue, And I was hypothermic, and... But that's what got me Into diving, And looking for gold In the ocean. 10 miles east of nome... At hastings creek. Yeah, you want to grab One of those samples, sam? Yeah. Zeke tenhoff and his brother sam. Are assessing the fruits Of their day's labor, As they work to secure A mineralrights. Claim on the grounds. With the state of alaska. Yeah, this is the sample That was from, like, Far away from the hole As I could get. My immediate goal For the start of this ice season. Is to collect enough samples To be able to prove. That there is A longterm resource of gold. Out at that prehistoric Beach line at hastings creek. Once I have that data, I can start. The claiming And leasing process, To have unrestricted access To the area for the longterm. I hate to be the pessimist, But this just looks like A bucket full of sand to me. I do kinda wish maybe I was Panning from samples. That were full of red And black sand, Instead of just old Prehistoric pebbles. It's in here. I mean... Okay. We got one tiny little speck. It's right there. Speck of gold. Tiny little speck of fine gold. That's not gonna Pay the bills. It's not gonna pay the bills. The first samples that I was Able to take, not looking good. I mean, by brother's not happy. If I take that much energy out Of sam to follow my plan. And it turns out That my plan was. Just a little bit halfassed In its architecture, then... I mean, that's not cool. The first test buckets Are blanks, But hoping to stake a claim He can work for years, Zeke's not giving up just yet. We're gonna have to find a way. To get a little further North of the hole. You have to have faith That things are going. To work out in the end. Following the geology, there's A lot of reason to believe. That there might be A lot more gold out there. Than anyone can Possibly imagine. 70 miles to the east... We made it! Hell yeah! After an agonizing 13hour journey... Whoo! Kris kelly is within sight Of the bluff. We barely made it. If this is half as good As everybody says it is, This is gonna be The greatest thing. That's ever happened To me or my family. Nobody has this opportunity. There's no chance in america You can go and say, "Hey, you go do this, there, And you're gonna make A million dollars." Nobody has that chance. Now, the only thing Kris has to do. Is figure out how to sleep, How to eat, how to mine, And how to avoid a mutiny. Very good... What's your problem? We made it. What's my problem is, It's almost dark. We have no place to stay. You figure out What my problem is. We have the tent. Everybody... Yeah, we have the tent! Have you set one up before? ! Yeah, so I've never Set one up before! But it's a tent, And I can figure it out. Everything's fine. We're not gonna freeze To death, everybody. We work out in these Conditions all the time. I know, but we have a place To go to at the end of the day. Here, we don't. I have no idea, To be honest with you. I believe my dad and brother Wanted me so we'd go back. To the old way Of doing things. So I'm basically saying, "Hey, you're gonna give up." Everything you know, You're gonna come live with me. "In the middle of nowhere, And that's your new life." If I can't make my family want To make a million dollars, I'll get somebody else. As night falls across The bering sea, Just one mile away... Whoo! Hell yeah! Shawn pomrenke's first day Of the winter mining season. Comes to a close. This season's about Starting over... Hell yeah. And getting this Mega dredge built. We got a long day Ahead of us, tomorrow. In the glow of The golden nugget... Let's go to bed, man. Shawn heads for camp, Unaware that a determined rival. Has reached the gates. That mega dredge will Keep nome alive. I mean, you start bringing In $100,000, $200,000. A day into a small Community like that, It'll definitely be a really Good thing for nome. I guess this is where We're setting up camp, boys. There's a lot of families that Depend on my business and me. I don't want to think about how Many people depend on me, but... Long as I keep finding Big piles of gold, It should keep all These families happy. We'll be nice and warm Here in a minute. I have a feeling this winter Will be the best icemining. Season I've ever had. I think it's the next Big gold rush, for me, And I think it'll have people Trying to come down there. To mine, but... Not too worried about anybody Showing up anytime soon, Because it's taken me years To get ready for it. I mean, if people think They're gonna come up here. And do it in one season, They got... They got another thing coming. Anything this tough Has got to be worth it. On the next episode of "Bering sea gold"... We're the reaper, and we've Come here to do business. Ricky! This place is loaded. Did you find this? ! No. Did you find it? ! SPENCER STRASMORE: We have Wayne Hastings in our corner, we have the entire city of Las Vegas on our side. Off-off the record? I'd say, "watch your ass." ♪ (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ When there's this much money at stake, it makes sense to edit your social circle. Did you get Reggie and Vernon out of the weed business? (COUGHING) I can't really hear you. You are the father. You can't prove that till it's born. The baby was conceived the first day we hooked up. SPENCER: I bring football to these fans, it's gonna mean the world to them. CANDACE: Why risk everything you've built? Sounds like you're trying to discourage me. I just wanna know if you're an enemy of the league. ♪ Kane is in the building, nigga... ♪ ( music playing ) ♪ Now tell me how you love it, you know you at the top ♪ ♪ When only heaven's right above it, we on ♪ ♪ 'Cause we on ♪ ♪ Who else is really trying to fuck with Hollywood Cole? ♪ ♪ I'm with Marley G, bro ♪ ♪ Flying Hollygrove chicks to my Hollywood shows ♪ ♪ And I wanna tell you something that you probably should know ♪ ♪ This that "Slumdog Millionaire" Bollywood flow ♪ ♪ And, uh ♪ ♪ My real friends never hearing from me ♪ ♪ Fake friends write the wrong answers on the mirror for me ♪ ♪ That's why I pick and choose, I don't get shit confused ♪ ♪ Don't like my women single, I like my chicks in twos ♪ ♪ And these days all the girls is down to roll ♪ ♪ I hit the strip club and all them bitches find the pole ♪ ♪ Plus, I been sippin', so this shit is moving kinda slow ♪ ♪ Just tell my girl to tell her friend that it's time to go. ♪ ( men shouting ) - How about now? - No, still too dark. - I can barely see you. - I know, I'm trying to keep it mysterious. Okay, so I can roll around in lingerie, but I don't get to see you jerk it? - All right. - Well, listen, first of all, baby, you're gonna ruin the whole romantic thing that's happening now, and, believe me, the last thing you wanna do is see me in all my shame. Do not be ashamed, okay? I am so proud of you. What you are doing is proactive. - Okay. - Checking to see if you can reproduce even when you have no intention of doing so anytime in the near future, that shows maturity. Yeah, listen, honey, I gotta tell you, I really appreciate the support. It means a lot to me. Uh, but what would also mean a lot to me is if you take your perfectly round, beautiful ass and hike it in the air. ( chuckles ) Like this? Just like that. Damn, don't move. ( camera shutter clicks ) Um, did you just take a screen grab? No! Why would I take a screen grab of you? I got the real thing. Come on. Okay. Don't get lube all over your phone. Hike your ass up, please? God damn. Sexy, yes. Just a little bit more. Arch your back. Fuck. Damn! Tom and Gisele floating on a 300-footer in Saint-Tropez. Man, that's a long-ass way from that raft we used to float on at Jim McMahon's aboveground pool. Where you see that? Where I see everything... 'Gram. You follow Tom Brady? Just so I don't look like a creep following his wife. Plus, he only posts pictures of him practicing and wearing them ugly-ass Uggs. Wait, I can't believe they let your old ass on the 'Gram, Dennis. Motherfucker, there's no age limit looking at fine-ass women. Is this you with all the Pam Grier pics? That's my Woman Crush Wednesday every day. Because she ain't no Ashley Graham. And I hate to break it to you, but she ain't looking like this anymore. Hey, careful, boy. That's my girl. And FYI, she's still fine as fuck, all right? - Fine... - Both: As fuck! Look at Tommy. This is what I'm saying. "Practicing with my boys, Edelman, Gronk, and Amendola." - God. - And when was that? Yesterday. What? Get the fuck out of here. - ( doorbell dings ) - Oh, shit, I'll get that. These motherfuckers practicing without me. ( sighs ) Come on, Ricky, they in Boston, man. Well, shit, Edelman lives in LA and Gronk lives here in Miami. Last time I checked, Amendola was in Botswana. Yet, they get the call and I get the proverbial stiff arm? - Yeah, yeah, you're right. - That's bullshit. You're right, you're right. Fuck Brady. Fuck him. I'ma unfollow his ass any motherfucking way. You know what? I'ma set up a practice of my own. Just fucking go to... Hey, T! - Yeah? - Grab me a group together. And not that busted-ass quarterback from last time, all right? Who, JaMarcus? He used to play for the Raiders. - Who the roses from? - Amber. Damn, those are nice. Must be her apology for yesterday's behavior. Nigga, you sent these to Amber to apologize to her. She just sent them back. - I did? - Yeah, you had me do it. Wait, you don't remember this? Oh, yeah. It's still nice, though. What kind of red is this? Rose red? I don't... "Are you an enemy of the league?" What does that even mean? Well, it's a threat, Joe. I mean, it's really fucking subtle, but it's still a threat. Well, they can't do shit to us. Actually, they could ass-fuck us multiple ways, starting with our registration. - No, they couldn't. - They can and they will. - Well, that would suck. - Yep. They could also take away that ASM box we have at the Dolphins' game, too. - Oh, I love that box. - Yeah, so do I. It's also a matter of credibility. The league can go after that, too. Let me tell you something, for two guys who didn't start off with a lot of that, we don't have shit to spare. What's their fucking problem with you anyway? It's an old boys' club, Joe, all right? I ain't old enough, I ain't white enough, and I sure as fuck ain't clean enough, and neither are you. - What about the Raiders? Are they a lock? - Nothing's a lock. Tim Brown said that he was gonna back channel for us, but we both know that words without actions, that doesn't amount to shit. Is my hungover brain playing a trick on me or is the legendary maverick Spencer Strasmore second-guessing himself? It's called pragmatism, Joe. Oh, yeah, you pragmatic? ( chuckles ) Oh, that's a new one. Virginia, he just called himself pragmatic. I am, and let me tell you something, it's not a me thing; it's a we thing, okay? I need you to know you go in on this, shit could get pretty steep. Why are you such a masochist, man, huh? We got a great business going here. I'll give you two billion reasons why. No. No, no, no. That's not you. That's the way I would do it, sure, but you've never been just about the bucks. Okay, how about paying back Ricky and Vernon? Good, honorable. I like that one. Usually, that would stick, but I don't believe you. How about this one? Fuck the powers that be. Huh, there he is. Vintage Spencer Strasmore. I'm all about good over evil, Joe. Mm-hmm, but just so I know in this particular scenario, - are we the good or are we the evil? - We're always the good. Against the evil empire, we are always the good. Yeah, and who are they to say we can't carve out our slice of the American dream, huh? I'm a capitalist. I don't kowtow to threats. Fuck the evil empire. They can't stop me from retiring at 40. Uh, you're past 40, Joe. That's why they can't stop me. ( phone ringing ) ( clears throat ) Joe Krutel. For a little guy, you've got some big balls. Hey, good to hear from you again. How's the family vacay going? None of your business. What is your business is Vernon. And apparently, you didn't take care of business very well. - I'm sorry, come again? - I didn't come a first time. You said you had Vernon under control. Do you know he converted his endorsement money into ownership in a grow house? Ownership? That's something I know something about, Joe. Uh, I have no idea why they think that would be okay. It's totally unacceptable. I appreciate your concurrence, Joe. Tell your client I'm cutting him. Boys, knock it off! ( gasps ) Hey. ( clears throat ) I'm gonna share something with you and I hope you will be as supportive of me as I've been of you this morning. Kisan Teague has the kind of talent that can take our offense over the top and finally turn the negativity around. - I'm listening. - Yeah, but you're not looking at me. That's 'cause I don't wanna see your silly grin while you pitch. Now, continue. Look, Teague has breakaway speed to spare and durability. ( chuckles ) Now, that is one lethal combination. Lethal? That is an interesting choice of words when describing Kisan Teague. Let me ask you this. Do you think he's a good person? A good person? I believe he can be. Besides, who are we to judge? We all sin. I'll answer for you, Charles. He can be a good person, but he chooses not to be. How's Kisan any different than dealing with Sutton or Jared? We don't need any more distractions, Charles. - We need a title. - And Teague can help us get there, sir. - I really believe that. - The answer is no, Charles. But it was a very impassioned pitch, so je vous remercie. Means "thank you" in French. - ( intercom beeps ) - Woman: Jason Antolotti on one. - ( beeps ) - Good morning, Jason. I'm here with Charles Greane. Larry, Chuck, let's talk Teague. - Way ahead of you, J. Been trying to... - Go on, Jason. Look, you guys need a division title and my man will deliver like Amazon, all right? He's got breakaway speed, durability out the ass. He will finally put your offense over the top. I think you might be right. - Can I see him work out? - Absolutely. I'm gonna coordinate that with you, Charles. - Thank you, Larry. - Larry: Don't mention it. Sorry, babe, we gotta stick a pin in brunch. Fuck me and not feed me? Fuck you. We'll eat quick. Come on, I want stone crabs. I don't get it. Jason just said the same thing I did. He said it better, Charles. Be grateful. You may not have got it the way you wanted it, but you got it nonetheless. Now go coordinate. - ( horse neighs ) - I spent 250,000 on American Pharoah's supersonic splooge. You better deliver me the next Secretariat or you'll be shoveling the most colossal mountain of horse shit you've ever seen, okay? - ( phone ringing ) - Giddy up. Hey, I'm seeing you at the stable in 30, right? Yeah, listen, Wayne, I just have to push that back by a few, okay? Hey, Reggie, put Vernon on the phone, please? - Wayne: How few is a few? - Just a few hours. - I just gotta put out a fire for a client. - Can we talk about that later? - This is more important. - Wayne: I thought you were gonna tell me it was something important, like a testicular cancer scare. No, not that important, but still nonetheless, it's important. More important than bringing your team to Vegas? I only stuck around for this lunch, Spencer. I'm heading back to LV today. Jet is washed and the Joe's Stones are on ice. - Vern, what's up? Wish I had better news. - Wayne, yeah, I understand. I get it, it's only a onetime pass. - Yeah, it happened again. - It's not gonna happen again. Yeah, he's more than a little upset, Vernon. - Wayne, hold on one second. - He's cutting you. Cutting me or cut me? What tense did he use? What the fuck does it matter what tense he used, Vernon? - Jesus Christ. Come on. - You didn't listen. What the fuck are we gonna do, Joe? Me and Spencer are heading there now. We are gonna beg for mercy. You are gonna fucking divest yourself of the entire weed business ASAP, you hear me? First off, calm the fuck down when you talk to us, man. We ain't done nothing that wasn't in accordance with Colorado state law. - Reggie, please stop talking. - Hey, yo, man, the NFL ain't the motherfucking Constitution of the United States of America, Joe. No, it's more fucking important, Reggie, you fucking moron! Jesus. Calm down. Reggie, listen, it's Spencer. Vernon is getting out of the fucking weed business, - you hear me? - No, fuck you. Shut the fuck up! You hear me, Reggie, you motherfucker? ! You're out of the fucking weed business. - Fuck him! - Whoa, what the fuck? What? God damn it. Listen, I'm sorry. - I thought it was my phone, okay? - It wasn't. - Okay, calm yourself. This is Wayne. - Oh. Hey, buddy, still there? Bomb fuse has been lit, Spencer, and the timer started. You got two hours. - Fuck me! - Yeah, fuck you! You owe me a new fucking phone. I got your phone. I'll buy you a phone. Okay. - ( music playing ) - ( chatter ) Oh, there's Ms. Bossman. ( chuckles ) Wow. WAGs for the guys in the front office, too, huh? - Dallas does it right. - ( chuckles ) - Spencer. - Hey, Tanya. - You look beautiful as always. - ( kisses ) - What are you doing here? - Well, I heard a couple of my friends were vacationing in my neck of the woods, I thought I'd come by. Yeah, and I grew up nearby. Might pop into my mom. Tanya, my business partner, Joe Krutel. - Hi, Joe. - Hi. Boys are getting big. Ah, yeah. Henry is already 6'1" and he's only in middle school. They grow 'em big like that in Texas. When are you gonna make some? It's such a shame to waste those genetics. Yeah, I am working on it. Tanya, where is, uh... Where is your husband? - You just missed him. - Where'd he go? Over there, massage. Something really got under his skin this morning. Said he needed extra pressure. Huh, wonder what that could be. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, what could possibly make you upset in a paradise like this, right? He could find a way, trust me. But stick around. He shouldn't be that long. Besides, seeing you will make him feel better. Ah, well, I doubt that. - You got that whole lease thing. - Right, right, right. Welcome, Kisan. I'm Charles Greane, assistant general manager. - Great to have you. - Indeed. Appreciate it. What up, man? You ready to make us look good? Yeah, man, better than you already look. - And you a handsome man. - ( chuckles ) My dude. Hey, hey, hey. You dandelions gonna run some drills or you gonna stand there circle jerking? Man, I was born to run, Coach. You know that. - My man make you say Bo looks slow. - ( snaps fingers ) Why are we still talking? You should be running. Lace them the fuck up. Come on, I'll show you the locker room. Let's go. - Right. - ( phone buzzing ) - Kisan: The man is clowning, right? - Man: No joke. Man: Come on, fellas, swivel heads, now. - Swivel heads, let's go! - Man ♪2: Come on, guys. Catch the ball! - ( whistle trilling ) - Man: Third and goal. Third and goal! Man ♪3: Throw it! Throw it! I'm open! ( engine turns off ) What the... Amber, where are you going? It don't matter where I'm going. What's important is that you won't be there. You think I'm gonna just let you leave with my baby? It ain't your choice. I don't need your permission. - Shit. - I especially don't need your money. Can you move? And you know what? I damn sure don't need them damn flowers, so you can send those back to one of your other randoms. You can't do this. I got rights. - I could do something about this shit. - Boy, please. The only rights that are important are a woman's right to choose, and I choose a life without you. Come on, Amber, that's cold, now. - You wanna know what's cold? - What? - The truth. - Well, what's the truth? ( scoffs ) Truth is you old as dirt for a wide receiver. I mean, maybe you have a couple of seasons left at best, but after that, who are you, hmm? Just some lonely-ass, busted ex-football player with a couple of bucks. - Well, you wanna know the truth I see? - Yeah. Yeah, what truth you see? Tell me. Hmm? - I ain't even gonna say it. - Yeah, 'cause you're chicken shit. Look, 'cause I'm a gentleman, that's why. 'Cause you have nothing on me other than I was stupid enough to sleep with your sorry ass. You really going for it today, huh? Well done. I'm just keeping it real, Rick, just like you taught me. So, if you don't mind, I have some packing to do. Oh, you know what? Can you put this on the truck for me on your way out? Thank you. Uh... Hey, I'm gonna have the tuna tartare, and can you have 'em throw a fried egg on it? Okay, fuck me, huh? Two hours late for the biggest meeting of our lives. We got Bossman in the cabana getting his balls rubbed, and you're out here asking for the fucking tartare? You know the surgeon general just said that stress is more dangerous than smoking? Maybe you should think about that. We miss Wayne, we're fucked. Oh, there he is. It's about fucking time. Look at him saunter. God, that must have been some release, huh? Oh, all right here we go. ( chuckling ) Long way from home, Dorothys. I'm gonna need you to reconsider cutting Vernon. I've been spending far too much time and getting far too little in returns, Spencer. I know I said this before, but this time, it's guaranteed. Vernon's out of the weed business. Nothing like getting a guarantee for the second time. Ah, no, that first time was a promise. This is a guarantee. Totally different thing. Bossman, come on, he's a good kid. Hell, I know he is. I'm actually quite fond of him. Do you gentlemen have any idea how difficult it is to operate the greatest brand in sports? You own the New England Patriots, too? I'm totally kidding. No, we don't. People are always looking for new ways to knock us down. ( chuckles ) Yeah, I can relate to that one. Hmm, some would say you have it coming, though. Word is you've been sniffing in the tall weeds with a short snout. I'm not quite too sure what that even means. Me either. I've never heard that one, no. Spencer, if you don't wanna admit what you're doing, maybe you shouldn't be doing it in the first place. Bossman, I'm not afraid to talk about anything. I just thought that that kind of transparency between you and I would put you in an awkward position with the league. Let me worry about what position I'm in. Fine, it's true. I'm guilty of sniffing in the tall weeds. With a short snout. I wanna bring a team to Vegas. Reaching for the brass ring, huh? Well, admittedly, it's a little outside of my expertise, but, yes. I always knew you had big balls, Spencer, but I didn't know your judgment was this questionable. How do you figure? The league's just approved you and you're already biting its hand? Didn't even call for approval? That's just plain wrong. The upside's worth it. I suppose we'll see. The way I see it, there's only one way to take a team to Vegas, and that's big, even by Texas standards. That's the only way we do it. Big takes vision, Spencer. Do you have a vision? I do. But even if I didn't, Wayne Hastings does. - Wayne Hastings, huh? - Yeah. Well, that boy there's a proven visionary. He's like the me of Vegas. - Oh, you're more handsome. - I could use your support and definitely your wisdom to get this whole thing done. Yeah, approval comes through Texas. Everybody knows that. And how far in is Wayne? Balls deep, spearheading the whole thing. - Well, I like that. - Joe: Yeah, we do, too. Now, uh, can we please get back to this Vernon situation? Hmm, let me go put some clothes on first. - He wants to put clothes on. - A robe counts as clothes. TTD: Here we go, Rick. You got him. - Man: Go! - Ricky: You got him. Come on, he gained too much space. Look at that route. - What the hell was that? - One, two, three, throw. He got it. He's nervous, man. You're Ricky Jerret. TTD: Off the line, got him. Do it! Oh, my God. Damn! TTD: Bam! He done, he done. There it is. There it is. - What the fuck? - Come on! Down, set, go! TTD: There it is, right there. Put it on, quarterback! Aw, shit! Man, chase his ass. Chase him. - Get him! What are you smiling for? - Dude, run! Y'all take five. Good play. Take five. - Come here. - Where the hell are you throwing? Sorry, Rick. You know what a skinny post is? Why the fuck are you throwing it so high, man, and behind me? Man, we don't even call plays at my school. School? What you... you in... what school you go to? - Miami-Dade High. - You in high school? - Get the fuck out of here. - Really? I'ma really kick your ass if you don't get to step... Get out of here. T, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. We got Amendola, Gronk, and Edelman working with Brady. You got me out here with Matthew Stafford's little brother. That's all I can get on such short notice. - What do you want me to do? - Collect them cones and pay little Stafford his beer money. I'm taking a motherfucking Uber home. I hate you right now. You embarrassed me out there. Your ass ain't getting paid. ♪ Move it on, the music... ♪ ( whistle trills ) Man: Down, set, go. ♪ Get down, get there, baby ♪ ♪ Get on down... ♪ - ( whistle trills ) - ( music continues ) ♪ Do it, all right... ♪ Whoo! 4.30. Your boy can still run. Would I waste your time if he couldn't? - Wow. - What's the verdict? - I want him. - Charles: Oh, yeah. Hey, Mr. Siefert. - Mr. Siefert? - Mr. Siefert's your problem now. Fucking deal with it. ( chuckles ) Man, don't sweat it, Chuck. That's just Larry negotiating. He... - ( jackhammer rattling ) - God damn. How much longer? ( horns honking ) Oh, fuck, according to Waze, an hour. Fucking hour? It's a quarter of a mile. Dude, welcome to Miami construction. Should we call Wayne and tell him we're gonna be late? No. Fuck, no. Not a fucking chance. ( sighs ) Well, what about Vern? We should call him, right? Give him the good news? No, fuck that. Let that motherfucker sweat it out - like I'm fucking sweating it out. - ( sighs ) - Fuck! Let's go! - ( horn honks ) - Should we be doing this, Spence? - Doing what? This, fucking any of this, poking the bear. I mean, look at all the stress it's causing both of us. - Are you stressed? - Am I? Are you fucking kidding me right now? My psoriasis, I can feel it fucking festering. It moves around the body, you know. I can feel it closing in on my nuts right now. And after that conversation with the Bossman? I don't know, I'm starting to think maybe we are on the evil side of things here. Maybe you're just not emotionally cut out for this, Joe. Yeah, maybe. And clearly, you're not either. I ever tell you the story about my dad? What, your real dad or your adoptive dad? Asshole, my adoptive dad is my real dad. Okay, okay, good. I didn't wanna hear a story about you searching for your biological father. - Shut the fuck up, Joe. - Done. Please continue. My dad Carl was a loving man, tough man. - Like you. - Much more loving, much tougher. He worked in the, uh... in the mills in Bethlehem, all right? Provided a decent living. He took care of us. Supported us. Nothing lavish. - Right. - So, one day, he gets a call into the big boss's office. First time he's met him in 30 years. So, what did the boss say? Nothing. Nothing? What the fuck kind of story is this? You see, it's not about what the boss said; it's what he didn't say, Joe. He didn't say anything interesting at all. - Huh. - So, after 30 years, my dad finally had a chance to sit across from the man who was running everything. And you know what he saw? What? Nothing. Nothing special. My dad realized in that moment he could have been that guy sitting behind that desk. But he realized it too late. We're all just a bunch of guys, Joe. Some of us believe that we could do anything. And some of us believe we can't. So, when you ask me why I wanna do this, my answer is because I know what guy I wanna be. What about you? ( clears throat ) I definitely don't wanna be the guy that just lets the clock run out, you know. I definitely do not wanna be the guy who just sits there while time fucking stands still. I wanna be the guy. - The fucking guy? - Yeah! Yeah, the fucking guy. Then let's get the fuck out of here. ( chuckles ) Holy shit. - Let's get the fuck out of here. - ( chuckles ) ( horns honking ) ♪ I've been in the right place ♪ ♪ But it must have been the wrong time ♪ ♪ I'd have said the right thing ♪ - ♪ But I must have used the wrong line... ♪ - Charles: Hey, Mr. Siefert. Hey, Mr. Siefert, you gonna call Jason? No, you are, Charles. This was all your idea. - Well, what should I tell him? - I thought my lack of words said it all. - But Kisan was great. - Don't care. I don't want him. - Why the hell not? - 'Cause I don't trust him, that's why. And you don't need to know what I'm gonna do, Charles, till after I do it. So, you don't trust Kisan, you don't trust Berg, and you don't trust me, for that matter. All the same now, Charles, but I'm talking about the player. This ain't all about you. When are you gonna realize that? Man, this is fucked. You're gonna put politics over performance? You're gonna stand here and let your ego keep us from getting a player of Kisan's caliber? - Do you know what subtext is, Charles? - Yes, sir. Good, then go fuck yourself. And that is about you. ( man chattering ) - ( door closes ) - T! T, where are you at? T! - ( line ringing ) - ( phone ringing ) - Yo, what's up? - Yo, where are you at, man? - I'm at the house. - Then why didn't you answer me? I just did! What's wrong with you? Man, where the gefilte fish at? It's in the fridge. That shit's perishable once it's open. They ain't in the fridge, man. Hold on, man, I know I put that shit in the fridge 'cause don't nobody want no hot-ass gefilte fish. Just like I said, right behind the peanut butter. Ain't no peanut butter in here, man, just yogurt. - Where the fuck are you, Ricky? - Where you think I am, man? I'm in the motherfucking kitchen, bro. I'm in the kitchen. I don't see your ass. Hey, man. Oh, God! Yo, TTD, call the cops. There's a weird white kid in our house. What house are you in, Rick? - Ricky? - Uh... - Ricky? - Oh, shit. - Ricky. - Boy: I know who you are, asshole. - You're not gonna get away with this. - TTD, call Spencer. ( car alarm chirps ) Wayne, Wayne! ( panting ) Wayne! Well, look what the breeze finally blew in. Better late than never, though, right? Better never late is more like it. I believe you two know each other. - Sure do. Hey, Spence. - Hey, Chloe. ( panting ) This is my partner, Joe. - Hi. Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too. We'll be just a second, sir. Wayne, look, just one drink, that's all I'm asking. You showed me everything I needed to see, Spencer. You're a good guy. But if you can't make a lunch, how are you gonna move a team or build a stadium on schedule? Now, if you'll excuse me, we have a plane to catch. You fly private, though, right? ( laughing ) Yeah. I mean, the plane leaves when you do. Is that what you know from experience, Joe? It's something I've learned from my grotesquely irresponsible client roster. Spencer: Wayne, just one drink. You're gonna wanna hear what I gotta say. - What do you think? - ( car alarm chirps ) I'm actually curious. ( chuckles ) She's curious. Tell me what it is you think I'm gonna wanna hear, Spencer. I just met with the Cowboys. - Underlings? And another foot. - Couple bits. - And there we are. When is TSA finally gonna realize that we all know the shoe thing? You know what I mean? You get to the airport, they tell you to take your shoes off. It's like, "Who doesn't know by now?" Is someone getting to the airport, like, "What? I have to take my shoes off?" If that happens, arrest and kill that person. They're probably not terrorists, but they're holding up the line. And what is terrorism on a local level? On a local level, what is terrorism? Holding up the line? We don't need those people. "When did this start?" "Kill him!" And I'm way too far back. "Kill him! In front of everybody! Everybody watches! Everyone. No, sweetie, everyone watches. Everyone. Everyone watches. Everyone watches. Never become that." It's a fuckin' high-pressure situation the moment you start dealing with security. No one gets dressed and undressed while moving sideways at home, but goddamn it if you're not an Olympian when you get there. Hurry up! People in tears, like, "I just want to see my family again! Am I allowed to leave my pullover on? Oh, my God! I forgot to put my wallet in a bin! What'II happen?" No wallets! It's so fuckin' tense. Like when you're in line with everybody and you're going through the zigzags, yeah, you're having the time of your life. The moment you touch a bin, you're in the Octagon. Nobody's your buddy. Nobody's your pal. They're timing you. As soon as you touch a bin, go! "That's as fast as you can go? How many bins do you need? Laptop and an iPad? Where the fuck are you going?" Then you gotta go through that goddamn Stargate machine. What is that? Why do we just do it? What is it? If you asked TSA, "What does this even do?" They're like, "Well, shows us where your sweaty spots are, and then we tackle 'em." Next time you're at the airport and you step into that Stargate machine, look at the person on the other side and be like, "I guess Los Angeles, 1984, please." "Sir, please come out." "Oh. How long was I gone?" Do all that. "Sir, you can step out." "How long was I gone? Where am I?" "Very funny, sir. Please go, get on your flight. You, ma'am, with the baby formula, why are you here?" "I think I was sent from the future to kill a boy." "Sir, please, grab your bag. Go get on your flight. Ma'am, get over here! Why are you trying to feed infants?" Anyways, that's my airport jaunt. If you think Jesus was white, you're not allowed to have an opinion on gun control. Not everyone's gonna agree. We know now, more than ever, education's expensive. Also some people in the crowd are like, "But Jesus was white." And you're doing the best. I want to live like that. I can't. I gotta be up here. I gotta look into it. All I'm saying is, if you guys want real change, you gotta limit some people's ability to vote. I know. I know. I know. It doesn't sound progressive. Neither does genocide. People hate genocide. Why? Because it's been used horrifically every single time it's been used throughout history? That doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing. If I told you guys tomorrow that we were gonna round up all of the racist, homophobic people and kill them, you're telling me all the smart people wouldn't be like... "Well, shit, we haven't tried that version. That might actually have an impact." Maybe it's not based on skin color or religion. Maybe it's just, "Who's the dick? Get him out. Get him out of here." Lump in global warming deniers. Let's clean house. You guys get it. You guys are hip. You're cool. You get it. I'm one of those people that doesn't believe in global warming, but I'm pretty sure Noah's ark was a true story. Where the guy was warning everybody about the insane change in the weather, and everyone's like, "Shut the fuck up, Noah. Quit hogging' all the wood so you can go off and fuck those animals. Well, that's what it looks like. That's what it looks like to us, dude. Looks like you're building some kind of sex ship out there. If that's not the case, you need to come down to the pub, and you need to give a speech, 'cause people are talking, dude. People are fuckin' talkin'. We don't know you. We don't know you. People are chatting', dude. You're like a thousand. No one else is a thousand." On the topic of guns, not everyone here likes guns. Not everyone here hates guns. Maybe some guns shouldn't be available. But what we do know for a fact is that right now, all of the guns are currently available. And some people are collecting guns. And some people are picking flowers, hoping it all goes away one day. I assure you, it is not going to go away. You've been led to believe at some point, it's gonna be us versus them. We just don't know who "them" is. But in reality, it's gonna be red versus blue, and it's gonna be a fuckin' bloodbath. So while guns are currently available... consider having a few around. You know, for when the shit hits the fan. You don't want people barging in in your house and you're like, "I got a ton of steak knives!" I told my wife, "I think we should get a gun." She was like, "Why do we need a gun?" I was like, "I don't know. We're probably gonna want water in ten years." I want to live for today like everybody else, but I gotta live for tomorrow a little bit. You know what I mean? Look down the road. Look down the Fury Road, you guys. Did anybody see that documentary? Anybody see that? "I thought it was a film." Did you? "O.J. hated water. He hated water." We'd go out, and I'd be like, "O.J. Need some water." I will say this. I don't do impressions 'cause I'm shitty at 'em. But I promise you, this one is pretty close. It's pretty close. When you finally watch that documentary, you're, "Oh, my God. It's a shame that guy killed himself. He could have made money doing voices." You know what? O.J. I don't like how some people react when glass breaks. Have you seen these people? What if this was my whole show? "Have you guys seen these people?" Glass breaks, they're like, "Nobody touch it!" Shut the fuck up. This is nobody's first broken glass rodeo. Nobody's running over like, "Here, let me scoop up a lot of the shards with my bare forearms. Put all the pieces in my mouth till I find a trash can at some point. No, put the shards of glass into my mouth." "Nobody walk around with your shoes off." Are you sure? When I heard the glass break, I immediately threw on my bathing suit. Was that for nothing? Where's the glass? Yay! Get these "save the dates" for people's weddings. You guys know what I'm talking about. The "save the dates." When did this start? Why did this start? Why was someone like, "You know what? In advance of the invitation, let's send our friends a "˜save the date,' as to say, "˜Psst! Heads up. Invitation on the way. You're one of the chosen ones. That's right. Identical information on both pieces of paper. Except on that save the date, you're gonna get a pretty cool, insecure picture of the two of us. That's a magnet. Put that on the fridge. Decorate your home with our faces.'" You see those pictures, you're like, "Oh, fuck. I can't go to this." They're just looking at you like, "This is what love is, right? We're in a field in the middle of nowhere, standing next to an abandoned barn. Come to our wedding. Look at us. We're spooning backwards while standing, laughing about something one of us brought up. Be at our wedding! Look, we're on a dock in the middle of a lake. We don't even live near a lake. How did we get there? Love! Love drove us that day to get those candid photographs. We didn't even know the photographer was there. We're just always standing like that." Also, those pictures, that's never the dude's idea. When you get that "save the date," and it's like your buddy, you're like, what the fuck is this? The dude is never, "You know what? Let's take one where our foreheads are touching and our eyes are closed. You know, as like a backup. As a backup, in case we don't use the one where l'm shirtless on a horse. You know." If you want to invite me to your wedding, just send me a piece of paper. Loose-leaf is perfect. Scribble it with crayon. Save the money. Just send me a piece of paper that's got the date of the wedding and tell me if you're gonna have alcohol at the reception or not. Because if you're not gonna serve alcohol at your wedding reception, show some balls and put that on the invitation. Find out the hard way how many of your friends and family... truly give a fuck about your wedding. You get to a reception... "Yeah, I'II take a beer." "Oh, we don't have any alcohol." "Then what the fuck did I just sit through? A shitty play?" That's what a wedding is. A wedding is a shitty play. The only people who like it are in it, like all plays. Everybody else is in the audience like, "Twenty more minutes, we are getting fucked!" "Not at our wedding! We invited Jesus." I was at a wedding. It was a non-alcoholic reception. I was like, "I hope they get diarrhea on the honeymoon." That's not a very nice thing to say. I was like, "Really? I was gonna say I hope they die tonight." Nothing gets me on the dance floor like a big old pint of sweet tea! I like to be fully present in the moment, fully aware I'm not a good dancer. The sweet tea reminds me every step of the way. I've used a Fleshlight before. Guys, don't be like that. Don't be like that. I was at a show, doing a festival in Texas. They gave all the performers a gift bag. In the gift bag there was a free Fleshlight. I don't know if they gave us those as a joke. I didn't take it as one. I pulled myself aside... and immediately reprioritized my entire afternoon. I said, "Rory, we skipped lunch before. Didn't kill us then. Will not kill us now." "Fuck this thing!" Out loud in a hotel lobby. "I gotta get my dick out! I gotta do it!" Some women in this crowd, you're like, "I think it's gross he used a Fleshlight." Some women don't care. Some women still think I said "flashlight." Now you know who you are. So do the people around you. "Well, then what is it?" "I don't fucking know. Dude fucking loves 9/11. I don't know. I don't know." If you're a dude in here, and you think it's gross that I've used a Fleshlight, you need to look at the facts. You're in a city that you do not live in, in a hotel room by yourself. Someone gives you a free Fleshlight. You can go fuck yourself if you think you're not gonna go fuck yourself. You're immediately going to go fuck yourself because you have to know. What is it like? I know some people are in here, "Oh, I don't need a sex toy." Grow up. If you were out on the sidewalk right now and someone pulled up in a Ferrari and was like, "Get in," you're not gonna be like, "But I already have a car." No. You're gonna get in. And you're gonna find out the hard way it's a Kia Rio in disguise. Here's how they work. Whoo, this joke is a two-parter. You have to take a fake, rubbery vagina... out of a flashlight casing and put it in warm water for five minutes. Never in your entire life will you feel more ridiculous. Standing in a hotel bathroom... naked, 'cause you're ready. You're ready. You don't know. You don't know what's about to happen. Be ready. Be naked. Be ready. Standing over the sink like a kid who just dropped one of those dinosaur sponge pills into the water. Can't wait for my vagina to be ready! I love going on the road! Brings out the best in me! When you're doing that in a hotel bathroom, there is one other person in there with you, and you lock eyes the moment you look in the mirror. And he's got questions. Rory, how did we get here? How did we get to this point? You're married. Surely your wife knows someone you can sleep with. Not a lot of people ever laugh at that part. She certainly wishes I would stop saying it. But now we got these cameras. Can't go back now. It's out there. I think what life is actually about... Now actually... And action. Now the special is starting. Action. I think what life is actually about... is realizing that we're all covered in layers that we've put there for some reason. For protection. Whatever reason it is. The only way you're gonna get to know who you truly are and expose your true self to everyone else is to get rid of those layers. And you see some people get rid of those layers at a young age. You see they have a very happy life. Then you see some people that are your age who haven't removed one layer. You're like, "Ooh." That's the layer that I removed that day. I found out... that I'm a guy who will just fuck whatever you got. What have you got over there, a pile of inanimate objects? Cool if I put my dick in 'em? I'm one of those people. I'd fuck a fake ass, if you had one. Don't act like you don't know what that is. Nobody can clear their pop-ups that fast. Not saying you have one, but you know what's on the market. No legs, no torso. It's just an ass that you have sex with. Yes, the show is surprisingly bookended. I hope that's the point that the guy was taking an hour-long shit comes back in. "Why are you still watching this?" "You missed a lot of other stuff. He hates women." I looked at one of those fake asses for about five... Shut up, guys. Not now. Not this close to the end. Don't you leave me. Lock those doors. They are locked? So all the doors are locked. I looked at one of those things for five minutes. I was like, "You know what? If no one was ever gonna know, then, yeah, I'II have sex with it. I'm gonna jerk off anyway." Fellas, am I right? The shittiest choreographed ending. All right. Just me. Just me. I thought we'd all stand up and get into it, but... Women, I don't know if you know this about men... but when we're in our 20s and our brain is, "Jerk off right now," we're like, "You got it. You got it." When we're in our 30s and our brain is, "Jerk off right now," I promise you, all of us are like, "When the fuck does this stop? I don't wanna do this shit anymore. It's been 20 goddamn years. I haven't liked it for ten. I just kept doing it 'cause I thought I'd die. Stay away from me... and stay away from my family." My question is, if you buy one of those fake asses... where do you even keep that? "I keep mine under the bed." Do you, you lunatic? I would rather my child find a loaded gun in the house. Far less awkward than the day my kid comes into the kitchen, "Daddy, what's this?" Well, that's kind of your mom when she's out of town. You guys, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Thank you so much. Rory! Rory! Rory! Rory! Rory! Ror... Oh, this is fantas... Guys! This is the best. You guys do this at the end of every show? - Get him in there. - You guys are the absolute best. No, don't throw me in a Dumpster! - That sucked. - Hey! - He was better than Todd Glass. - Who? ♪ Broken bodies line the dance floor Piling on top of me ♪ ♪ l've tried my luck, now what the fuck To do with the misery? ♪ ♪ Witness all the mess I will regret ♪ ♪ By this time next morning ♪ ♪ Broken bodies line the dance floor Piling on top of me ♪ ♪ Lights on, last call ♪ ♪ Lights on everywhere ♪ ♪ Oh-oh ♪ ♪ Oh, so far across the sea ♪ ♪ Broken bodies line the dance floor Piling on top of me ♪ ♪ Lights on, last call ♪ ♪ Lights on everywhere ♪ ♪ Lights on, last call ♪ ♪ Lights on everywhere ♪ ♪ Home, go home ♪ ♪ Go home ♪ ♪ Broken bodies line the dance floor Piling on top of me ♪ ♪ I tried my luck, now what the fuck To do with the misery? ♪ ♪ Witness all the mess I will regret ♪ ♪ By this time next morning ♪ ♪ Broken bodies line the dance floor Piling on top of me ♪ ♪ Broken bodies line the dance floor Piling on top of me ♪ Oh. Um... What time is it? I don't know. 10:17? Are you all right? Tired. I didn't sleep. I have an incredible headache. You're dehydrated. - Did I drink last night? - You don't remember? Yeah, you drank. At... at that bar? At the bar, here... Here? Did something hap... Did I do something? I don't wanna talk about it. What... Hi, boys! Oh, I gotta run. I gotta pick up the twins from my mother's and drop them off at daycare because I got the lunch shift today. Hope that things work out for you soon, - honeybunch. - Oh. Alright, I'll see ya when I see ya. Bye! Bye. Bye. Yeah, I don't wanna talk about it. *MICHAEL EVERY DAY* Season 02 Episode 06 "Hodophobia Part 2" Synchronized by srjanapala you're an alcoholic. Yesterday was an unusual day. You drank at lunch. I had one beer. Three, actually. And then you drank the champagne before you tried to poison a moose. That was to make room for the pills. You drank at the trucker bar. I mean, you really drank there. And let's say - it was stress-induced drinking... - I can relate to that, but... It was something you said to the stripper - that really sealed it. - At the bar? - At the hotel, at 4:28. - What did I say? You said "I'm an alcoholic." Did I have sex with the stripper? There was more crying than sex. - I made her cry? - Not her... Oh God! Look... - I don't know what I said last night... - I mean, I really don't know what I said last night, but it wasn't necessarily the truth. In Vino Veritas. Is not accurate, is what I'm saying. It's just an expression, and it's Latin so people give it more weight than it deserves. Ok. Maybe there was some truth in there, but... You know what? You're seeing who I am, who I really am, after all these years, and that's a good thing. It's really important for me not to know anything about you. I don't wanna know that you're an alcoholic or that you killed a guy and had sex with my mother. You're my therapist. I need to think of you as superman. I can't think of you as drinking and crying and screwing and killing and then ask you to help me with my fear of spiders, you know? Yes. I'm erasing the events of last night from my mind. You should too. - Oh, they're barely there. - Good. So last night never happened. Hey, boys! Now you know my day job. What can I get yous? No booze for you. You have a problem. I'm not gonna be your enabler. The meatloaf's good. Oh! Hey, hi! I got here as fast as I could. I drove like a teenager on coke, but I'm here for you, just like you are for me. - Great. How did you know? - How did I know? That we were stranded and where we are. - Dr. storper. - Well, you called me, or some woman named Shasta called me and handed you the phone. - We talked for an hour. - Oh. Oh. Ah! You've no memory of this. - He was really drunk. - Oh God. I'm such an idiot. I'm an idiot. - Meredith was right about you - No. - About me, about the whole thing. - No. Meredith was not right. It doesn't matter that I don't remember the specifics of what I said, because I was drunk when I said them and, you know... - In Vino Veritas. - In Vino Veritas I mean, we know Vino Veritas is Latin for a reason. It's just that you said some really beautiful things. - You did. - That's when I cried. I meant those things that I said, every word. Yeah, ok. Alright, we should get going. You need to get your stuff. It's like an hour to Sudbury or something. You're gonna drive us? - You asked me to. - You asked her to. Right. Right. Hey, can we stop at a mall or something? - I gotta get a new suit... - Mine's covered in blood. - Really? Wow. Ok. - Yeah. Great. Thank you for coming. It's been crazy. Um. My credits cards were damaged in the accident, do you think you could help me pay the motel and I'll pay you back? David, they weren't actually damaged. You're broke. You told me that last night. I just wish that you would, you know, tell me the truth when you were sober. Ok, the important thing to remember is this. In that nightmare yesterday, you were the only person I called. I'm looking for a man, answers to the name of Dashiell. Middle-aged, tall, pale, sickly, ambiguous sexuality, seriously anxious, probably consuming enormous amounts of alcohol while he's trying to comfort another man who's likely crying. Oh, and they're both covered with blood. Have you seen him? - Is this ok here? - Yeah. You're gonna go park? Yeah. Ow. I think he was wearing a ring. I can still see it, just here. - You look good. - Thanks. - It's gonna go well. - Yeah, I think it will. When it's done, - do you think you're gonna fly home or... - I-I-I don't know. Look, you don't have a fear of flying. You're afraid of something else, but the thought of flying triggers that fear. Maybe you're not afraid of flying, you're afraid of going away. - What do you mean? I-I don't get that. - Just... Ace that presentation. Ok. Seniors... How can we get them to use the Internet? In the past, we have simplified it, restricted access, dumbed it down. But I think that's the wrong approach. I don't think seniors are any more confused by the Internet than I am. I think they're afraid of it. Watch this video, please. My name's Al Jordan. I'm 82 years old. - Do you ever use the Internet? - I wouldn't want to mess it up. We created a mock form that's really a search engine. Each time you enter a term, it takes you to a related website, then you have to find your way back. - The form has changed. - Yes. Now I'm looking outside those, - put in Saskatchewan. - Yes. So I'm gonna leave you for about three hours Wait, wait. What if I break it? - You cannot break the Internet. - Um. He was scared at first, a little panicky. He paced, slugged away at the form, swore a lot, but once he figured out his way back to the home page, there was no stopping him. He was surfing the Internet like a 17-year-old. - So, what did you think? - Worst form in the world, pain in the ass, - but it took me places. - In the end, the form itself became a personalized website, a profile page full of photos, life experiences, and friends. The senior volunteers were scared at first, but they all booked repeat sessions. They loved that they had a place on the Internet. Thank you. - When will you come to Halifax? - Oh. You need a bigger team. My office in Hamilton - serves 81,000 seniors. - Oh. This is your whole life now, you realize that? Would the same thing work on kids? I mean really young kids. Uh, would you just excuse me? Mr. Renn, what are you doing here? I came to see your presentation, of course. It was excellent. - It's wonderful to see you, Mr. Renn. - We're all very proud of you. You had such poise up there. When you were working with us, I was worried about you. You had your anxiety issues. But look at this! You've created a life for yourself and a totally new path. It's wonderful. I wish you good luck, Michael, and hope you visit us soon. - I will. - Goodbye, Michael. Boy, you really knocked it out of the park in there. I quit. Seriously? - Oh! How'd it go? - Great. I quit. Can you give me a ride to the airport? Sure. - You quit? - I'll get my things. I didn't get what you meant at first, about me being afraid of something else, but I get it now and I know what it is. Did you plan all this? involved... Well, there was a certain amount of planning No, it was instinct. He's good. - He's like a brain detective. - What was the epiphany? I don't wanna say it till I know I'm right. I guess this is the end. Of? Therapy. I mean, you got me where I needed to be. You literally drove me there. Well, therapy's never really over, remember? Well, not for me, maybe, but... I think you need to take a break, seriously. Yeah, there's some things I'm gonna look into. Rehab? Yeah. Debt management? Possibly. I'd get an sti test too, if I were you. Oh... I gotta go, I have a plane to catch. I can't believe I just said that. - Yeah. - Thank you. - For so many things. - Ok, well. - Safe flight. - Thank you. What is it about him, this particular patient? I don't know, might have something to do with the fact that you slept with his mother. In Vino Veritas, David. Oh, that's my phone. Oh. Hello? David Storper, yes. Thank you. Can we stop in North Bay? - North Bay? Why? - My therapist is in jail. Goddamn Farmersville. I hate this fucking place. Why are you... - So sorry. Uh. - Hi! Oh, it's you. All of the research I could've been doing while chasing this Will-o'- the-Wisp Psychiatrist. - So, you hit someone? - With my cane. I struck him across his fat face. - It was fatter than mine. - Why? He had a leg tremor and Nystagmus. - That's abnormal eye movements. So? - It was obvious he was in the advanced stages of Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome. I told him as much. That's a neurological disease. It's brought on by excessive alcohol consumption. - She knows what it is! - I don't, actually. Well, you should, seeing the company you keep. I-I still don't understand why you hit him. He called me a nosy old Jew. Jew, yes. Old, perhaps. Nosy, never! Ok, well, uh, good for you. - What is that? - That's a flight tracker app. He should be in the air by now, if he got on the plane. Makes you wanna dance, doesn't it? I am so sorry. I feel like I've been in this car for four years. This seat is incredibly uncomfortable. I've got lumbar osteophyte that's digging into my liver. There'll be blood in my urine tomorrow. - Ok, enough with the talking. - Enough with the talking, Dr. Dismal? For your information, I wouldn't be here if I hadn't received a call from you, half out of your mind. That's why I'm here. No, you're here because you have self-esteem issues, so it's comforting for you to be with someone who's so massively dysfunctional. I hate this man. Look, I'm grateful that you came to rescue me. May I suggest that you write down the name of the town next time? Yeah, there's not gonna be a next time. So, of course... There'll be a next time. Donald is a mess. Look at him. He's an anal retentive depressive with narcissistic personality disorder manifested by a gross appetite for drugs and alcohol, which he consumes in gargantuan amounts. But he loves you. You two are connected. That's why he called you from the motel. You know, every therapist has a patient whom he thinks about long after the session is over, and that patient helps him as much as he is helped by the therapist. For him, it's this Michael man. For me, it's Dimitri. He meant to say David. He's always getting my name wrong. No, Dimitri! The great boy I've been treating for PTSD. He was in Afghanistan. He's a hero. Not like you, you drunken murderous bastard. Ok, we can just drop him off anywhere along here. Sir, I would suggest that you get help before you fly again. Oh, I'll never be doing that - again. But I did it, didn't I? - Yeah. Thanks for all your help. - I did it! - You did. Are you up? No, I'm here. Can I come over? What can I say? - Thank you. You saved me. - So your apartment's ready? Yeah, yeah. They did a great job. It's better than it was before. I should've burned it down long ago. - Ok. Ok. - Ok. Well, goodbye. Goodbye. - I lost the apartment. - I know. I don't think I'm capable of taking care of myself right now. I need help. I know that's a lot to ask of an ex-wife. David, I think that you should sleep in my basement. Ok? Come on. Tomorrow? Tomorrow, can I sleep in your basement? Can you drop me at the office? All my stuff is there. Because that's where you're sleeping? Yeah. And I've got some business that I have to take care of in the morning. You know, he's right. Wasserman. About you and I, this connection. Yeah. Hi. Oh, is Sophie asleep? -It's like 12:30. Yeah. - Dr. Storper was right, - I don't have a fear of flying. - Ok? He thought it was a symptom, but not the cause. He didn't know what the cause was, but I know now. - Ok? - I have a fear of losing you... I have a fear of losing you. Here. Thanks. See, the flying triggered a panic reaction because it was taking me away from you. The real life stuff has been taking me away from you. We talked about this. We did that on purpose. I wanna be with you and Sophie. I wanna help you with her. I wanna live here, marry you even, if you're into that. Whoa, slow down. Ok, maybe not that part, as long as we're a couple and I'm her father, I guess, because I love her... and you too, obviously. This is unfair, Michael. Your life is so hard right now, - and I swear I can help with that. - I can handle things. - I've been handling things. - I know, I know, I know, but I can help with Sophie or cooking or whatever. I don't want you to have to take care of me anymore. I wanna help take care of you. And if I don't, - you can kick me out. - Ok, stop it. I do not need a father for Sophie and I do not want to get married, oh my God! Ok, that's a bad choice of words and I'm sorry. But... child care, yeah. And cooking, maybe. And then... Maybe we could see what happens. One step at a time. Thank you. You start early. I'm a professional. What I mean by that is I start work early, but I also go home at 5 pm. I dreamt I fired you last night. I have that dream quite often. You'd know that if you transcribed my dictation. In these dreams, would I be a projection of some aspect of your personality? Your professionalism, maybe? Is that what you were firing? I'm not a doctor, but... Sometimes dreams are just wish fulfillment. Good morning. Rough night? Um, can we talk for a moment? A couple of things. First, Sammy and I are a couple again, despite your best efforts. It was an eeriksonian intervention. I said you two shouldn't communicate, thereby forcing communication. An eriksonian intervention. I'm surprised you didn't figure out. Well, I haven't been at the top of my game lately, which brings me to my second point. I'd like to offer you my practice. It seems like a reasonable way of deferring some of the costs of our failed partnership. I'm taking an indefinite leave of absence. Ok. I have to work on... My own problems for a while. I'm sorry to hear that. I actually believe that you're a good doctor. Well, you know, I think you might be a little better than me, which is why I'm trusting you with my patients. So, Beth has all the files. I'm sure if you ask her nicely, she'll show them to you. There's one patient who's particularly important to me. Michael. He's going through a transitional phase right now. You take very good care of him, please. I will. Good luck, David. The therapeutic process never ends. At each stage of life, there are different challenges, different obstacles to overcome. Ah! One is never cured. Someone can spend too much time and mental effort identifying and treating the problems in their life. The folly in that is that there's no time left for living. No, that's... Sometimes I think I have it all wrong. Sometimes I think that those things that I perceive as problems in my life are actually the component parts of my life itself. It's the lens through which I see my life that's broken. Huh. [Arnie] Previously on I'm Dying Up Here... I saw you on Carson. Your answering service could barely speak, and then she hung up on me. [Teddy] I will give you half the door, cash. He's betting on a junkie. And you're offering-- what was it again? You ever think that maybe I'm not that nice a guy? - [applause] - [Cassie] Not for a second. We're not friends. [Ralph] Uh-oh, you don't think I get respect? [Adam] What you think, you made it? Think this sorry-ass bar you made or any of this mean shit to me? [Sonja] We like to think of ourselves as courtesans, here to entertain members of nobility. Can't believe Barton didn't say nothing about this place being a whorehouse. - [police siren blaring] - Don't worry, I'm gonna take care of everything. He did not have anything to do with this. If you're released now, it's like it never happened. This offer doesn't extend to him. I'm good with that. Can't afford to pay you right now, Hoss. No need. It's already paid. Who the fuck is Barton Royce? ♪ jazz music ♪ ♪♪ [Edgar] Are you having a good time, ma'am? Really? All right. Tell your face. [laughter] [Sully] Guys, Vietnam's coming to an end. That means what? Comedians are coming home... from Canada. [wild laughter] [Adam] I used to do a lot of handyman work, growing up. Mostly because my dad was in the business... of breaking shit. [laughter continues] [Cassie] Well, what are you doing in here? That hooker in the trunk ain't gonna bury herself. [laughter] [Edgar] All right, thank you, folks. You've been a... slightly above average crowd. [laughter and applause] [children laughing] [Adam] [muffled yelling] [laughter] Hey! Help! [laughter] - Oh, here we go, here we go. - It's okay, baby, Mama's here. Here we go. You two can't look out for your baby brother? [Parnell] Ain't no goddamn baby, Verna. The boy needs some toughening up. You the one that's hurting him. [Parnell] I ain't got time for this shit. You okay, baby? They said it would be more fun than a Ferris wheel. They said? I ain't always gon' be here, so you listen up good, you hear? They two kind of people out there, discerners and fools. Discerner know the difference between what people say and what people mean. Fools...only hear what they want to hear. You got to know the difference out there. You hear me, Adam? How I know, Mama? You watch they eyes. A mouth smile easy, but not eyes. [Al] So my wife's new husband is younger, better looking, better job, bigger dick... [laughter] ...nicer car. Why would she leave me? Just because I made noise when I chew? Well, she made noise when she chewed-- his cock in my bed. [laughter] Hey. [Al] The kids were home. [laughter] Hey, keep it tight. Haul ass offstage when you see that light. [Al] I'm back in the dating world. - [Al] Nobody knows. - Man, look. About the other night, I'm sorry. Okay, you were cool and I wasn't. It won't happen again. It's disrespectful to the next comic when you running the light. Disrespect for who? Fucking Randy? Didn't you say he was as funny as a dick pimple? Randy open mic'd for three years before he got down here. You know, he didn't leapfrog 'cause he built some fucking shelves. That deserves some respect. You dig? Yeah. Whatever, nigga. You don't ever get to call me that. And if you roll your motherfucking eyes at me again, your head is gon' be rolling after it. You understand that? [Al] That's my time. Clap for me, please. Mind the fucking light. [cheers and applause] [laughter] I know what you're thinking. I look like Danny Partridge if his mom kicked him out of the band. Wonder if there were some family members that didn't pass the audition, you know? Like, behind the long bus there's a little short bus. Poor kid, Patrick Partridge, sitting back there wondering, "Why can't I shake the tambourine or hit the triangle or something?" I hear you're having dinner with Roy Brenner. Yeah. Somebody was harping in his ear. Eh. [laughs] Thought I'd use the guy's pain. Little inside information on Brenner. He doesn't like hard to get. So do me a favor and quit acting like you're doing him a favor. You want this. You want it more than anyone, so woo him. Here I thought he was supposed to be kissing my ass. [chuckles] Your career's got about five minutes before it goes the way of the Emperor's new clothes. And right now, everyone is contorting themselves to keep you from fucking yourself up, but it's all just piss in the wind if you can't get out of your own way. Any tips? [chuckles] Yeah. Don't talk with your mouth full. ♪ tense music ♪ [laughter] It wasn't even a kiss. I mean, I basically punched her in the face with my mouth. Maybe she'll even the score, punch you in your vagina. [scoffs] You're an asshole. I'm gonna pretend that's the estrogen talking. Mm-hmm. Read this. Changed my life. It's all about positive thinking. No offense, but your life's kind of the only thing that makes me feel positive about my life. Mm, that's very funny. "The Unbelievable Power of Believing." $7.95. Oh. Do you realize how many unicorns you could have bought with this? After I read this book, I got fired from "Let's Make a Deal." Well, it sounds like you read this book and then something shitty happened to you. [laughs] Getting fired from "Let's Make a Deal" was a gift from the universe. If you believe that good things will happen to you, then they do. How do you explain sleeping with Arnie then? Yeah, what else does the universe have in store for you, besides hepatitis? Right, okay, fine, if you don't believe in believing, then it's your loss. Hm. [man] Edgar? Edgar Martinez? Yeah. What took you so long? Unlike Uncle Hitler behind me, I've been holding a shit for three days. I've reviewed your case file and you should turn state's evidence. You mean snitch? No fucking way, man. I ain't no snitch. No, you're a drug trafficker, and transporting drugs over state lines means if found guilty, you're facing a minimum sentence of nine years in prison. All right, the guy you're looking for is Carlos Mendoza, goes by Big Chewy in the street. His address is 727 North Barclay Avenue, apartment 3. He also works with his cousins, Santiago and Juan Diego. They have a pit bull, but don't worry, it's blind. Are you writing this down? ♪ jazz music ♪ Hey, you seen Eddie? 'Cause the last guy who kissed me and ran away at least had the decency to come back and push me in the dirt after recess. Did--did something happen the other night? Because--that's weird, I talked to Eddie, and he didn't mention anything about--about the other night. Wow, you're a terrible actor. [clears throat] It was that bad? Yeah, I'm tempted to re-enter and let you try that again. [laughs] What's with the book, man? Cassie, I'm tired of living in a closet. - [scoffs] - Not getting laid, not getting paid. I mean, I've been blind, and this book has given me sight, because if you can believe it, you can achieve it. It's all in there. - Wow. - Mm-hmm. That's actually pretty impressive. I'm gonna have to borrow this when you're done. What chapter are you on? 12. Page 12, but...those 12 pages are chock full of life-changing information. ♪♪ Oh, uh, excuse me, can I help you? Yeah, just grabbing a booth. [Cassie] Tell Eddie to call me, okay? Yep. Uh, I'm--I'm sorry, sir, we actually don't have any booths available at the moment. Well, what about this one right here? Oh, no, I'm sorry. That--that booth is reserved for President Grant. President Grant died 100 years ago, so I don't think he'll mind. Okay. Uh, how about President Jackson? Also dead, but we'll move if he shows up. Come on, honey, have a seat. Sir, uh, you know that I'm--I'm talking about money, right? Amazingly, yes. Did I start too high? I was gonna start with Lincoln, but then I was like, "Seriously, who wants to sit in a booth reserved for Lincoln?" Yeah, another time. ♪ jazz music ♪ ♪♪ [whistling] [Goldie] Mm. Not sure who it's from, but whoever it is, they're puckered up. [laughs] Oh, hey, Arnie, this show is chewing up my schedule. I'm gonna need you to step up around here-- set the lineup, not just for the Cellar and Open Mic, Main Stage too. Main Stage? Oh, I'm honored. And please know that whatever additional responsibilities you might find necessary on my part to keep your empire running... are welcome. Just give the word. Easy, Mussolini, just keep the trains running. - [Cassie] Hi. - [knocks on the door] [Goldie] Hey, honey. Can I talk to you alone? Yeah, Arnie was just leaving. Oh, yeah, right. I'll go and, uh, I just gotta set the lineup for the Main Stage. [scoffs] [clears throat] I know it's probably not my place to say anything, um, but have you read the sketches? Mm-hmm. I mean, 'cause I'm worried that the Little Bo Peep one might be kinda... lame. It's not lame. It's fucking horrible, goddamn offensive. Ohh. I thought I just didn't get it. [laughs] Ho, ho, the writers don't get it. I mean, it's two guys never been laid writing their idea of what a woman might say. If you told them your twat was horizontal, they wouldn't argue. Okay, because I was thinking, maybe we could change it to "The Little Bo Peep Show," and men show up thinking it's gonna be this sexy peep show, but instead, the girl behind the glass is wearing this ridiculous dress, not showing any skin, because she wants to be taken seriously as an actress, doing her one-woman show about her wayward sheep. [laughs] Why don't you take a swing at rewriting it? Really? I can do that? Why not? I'm Executive Producer. Yes, you are. [funk music playing] Mmm. Oh, yeah! So I said to him, I said, uh, "So what's your angle?" Talking 'bout, "Why I gotta have an angle?" [laughter] I said, "Because you one angling motherfucker, that's why." [laughter] ♪♪ ♪ Ah! ♪ ♪♪ Anybody order a white guy? ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ If I buy a girl a drink, it means I want to fuck her. You paid for my entire haul of liquor, plus money owed. Cards on the table, Barton, I'm not that good a fuck. Not according to your current business model. What do you want? I want what you need, a business partner. Hm. I saw this, uh, nature documentary. It's about buzzards. They can smell their next meal from a mile a way. - Hm. - A mile. But from "Niggerville" all the way up to Sunset Boulevard? [laughs] Now, that is impressive. ♪ tense music ♪ I'm sorry, may I? ♪♪ Now that we're on a first name basis, I'm gonna talk frank. You're gonna go bankrupt, just like you did in New York in '70, just like you did in Atlanta in '62, and you know why? Oh, joy, you're gonna share your secret of success. 'Cause you don't know what you're selling. Fuck I don't. I sell a night out, a good time. Hope. ♪♪ You are selling hope with a two drink minimum. And you deal in hope? These kids today, they want fame. They want headlines. They want all the shit that you can't give 'em. See, they can know that it can never happen, but they got to think that it still could. You're talking Carson. Don't think I ain't fucking tried. His guy, Mitch Bombadier, got his head so far up Goldie's ass, it's fucking impossible. I have a working relationship with Mitch. We'll work something out. Through Pryor? ♪♪ Well, if you could get Pryor to play my club that'd be a hell of a shot in the arm. That ain't even gonna happen. He's all Goldie's. What I am proposing is that we build our own Pryor. Right, so this book says that you can have anything, as long as you believe? Mm-hmm. And you chose pizza? Not Carson. Well, Carson takes time. I mean, I mean, it's like on "Bewitched." You know, Tabitha didn't just pop out of the womb and levitate her crib. She started with her doll, and then worked her way up to heavier shit. I know what you should manifest next-- the powers to not say dumb shit. No. Next I'm manifesting vaginas. Already got a big box of Trojans. Well, as long as you didn't buy a box of big Trojans. You should give it a read, man. You need to believe in yourself. And talk to Cassie--you still haven't even called her. Whoa, whoa, what? Stop that train. You like Cassie? Okay. Okay, I can see it. Now that Bill's out of the picture, I feel like you should go for it. [laughs] He's not gonna do that. Excuse me, how do you know what I'm gonna do? I don't--I just know what you're not gonna do, which is talk to her, or be a man. [laughs] What, you scared? Yeah, I'm scared. No, none of you know what the fuck you're talking about, okay? Okay. Okay. How 'bout we settle this like men? Cock or Balls? [Adam] Whoa. [clears throat] Wait. What is Cock or Balls? It's like Rock paper scissors, except you stand back-to-back, unzip your fly, pull out a little bit of skin, and the other guy has to guess whether he's looking at your cock or your balls. Best two-out-of-three wins. Somebody wins? [Eddie] [groans] I'll go first. [clears throat] If I win, you gotta face Cassie. Okay, and if I win, you shut the fuck up about that book. Deal. Wait, y'all actually about to play this shit? No peeking. No need. I can draw a courtroom sketch of his dick. All right, ready? Yeah, did you find it? Three, two, one. - Balls. - Fuck! Every time. [Ron's zipper opens] - You all right back there? - Yep. Whew! Okay. ♪ funky rock music ♪ What do you think of that? Yeah, drink it in. Why are you so fucking close? Balls. - Cock. - [Adam] Wow. Bullshit! There's a pube right there. I did that to trick you. That's 100 percent beef you're staring at. Wait, why not just play rock paper scissors? What are we, fucking ten? [laughs] [van door opens and closes] ♪ light guitar music ♪ ♪♪ Max? Where are you, Maxie? Maxie boy? You happy to have me home? ♪♪ Max, honey? Where are you, Maxie? Marty, I gotta be honest. The sketches, they're not exactly Shakespeare. Well, your girls aren't exactly thespians, but I hear ya. Don't worry, it's a first draft. Next will be better. Great, we're all on the same page then. Uh, the thing is, my problem isn't just the writing, it's the content. It's frat humor. I mean, it should be about women. That's the point, right, to showcase women? Marty said it was just a first draft. It's all part of the process. Just relax, all right? Goldie, please, don't get so emotional. Now, Eli, in the second sketch-- - Could you repeat that? - What? Could you repeat that without the condescension? Just say it to me like you're talking to another guy and not your six-year-old daughter? What are you looking at him for? I'm talking to you. [laughs] That what makes Goldie Goldie. You know, she's a straight shooter. [chuckles] You got your spin. Anyway, don't worry about it. I took care of it. Got one of my girls to rewrite it. You did what? I'm a producer, so I'm producing. No. No, you don't hire writers. No, not without consulting me. Look, Marty, if I had a prick, I might stand around holding it all day, but I don't, so I have time to actually get shit done. She'll have your pages by the weekend. Come on. You know, for a woman who usually sees the big picture, that was extremely shortsighted. I refuse to put out a mediocre product with my name on it. I've worked long and hard to make that name mean something. Oh, come on, no one is disputing that. The problem isn't your message, it's the way you deliver it. You kill more flies with honey. What's wrong with a flyswatter? You have to respect the network. You can't treat 'em like a necessary evil. You ask me, they aren't all that necessary. Jesus, Gold. You're not gonna break if you bend. Why can't you compromise on something? Anything? Because then I'd be you. A real Hollywood agent. I want to look like that French girl in "Last Tango in Paris." Oh. Where are my heels? She had that hat, remember? It's black with the flower? Clothes are not what I remember about that movie. What? You're nervous. [scoffs] [laughs] It's cute. You're cute. Just cleaning my boots. [sighs] [brush swiping] Do you love me, Nick? [laughs softly] I wouldn't want to be on this ride with anyone else. [chuckles] ♪ solemn music ♪ [sighs softly] Do you remember what I said the first time I saw you do stand-up? "The fries here are so good." - [both laughing] - No. ♪♪ I said you were going places. Yeah. And then you asked me if I wanted to come with you. ♪♪ I want to come with you. ♪♪ I can't wait until our trip to Merced this weekend. My mom never believed in you, but I told her. I told everybody. ♪♪ Okay. - Hi. Huh? - Oh! More meat. Yeah. - Such the provider. - Oh! Can I? - Say, "Hi, Dad." - Yeah, I think this is how the cavemen felt when they purchased their woolly mammoth steaks and baby formula. Maybe we should've gotten the bigger fridge. Most of this is for the christening, but still. Ooh! Look at that. That's a full freezer. What? Yeah, I've never heard of it either. [laughs] Watch out. [chuckles playfully] [gasps] Wow--oh, wow. ♪♪ I'll put him down and be right back. Okay. - Say, "Night night, Daddy." - Night night. [sighs] ♪♪ [baby babbling on speaker] [laughs] [Betty on speaker] Look at you, so sweet. [baby babbling on speaker] [Betty muttering on speaker] When Cassie shows up, remember, all you have to do is believe. And don't limit yourself to what you can see. You know? I mean, we can't see the air. - Hmm. - Does that make the air less fucking real? No. - What page? - 16. Jesus Christ, you're a slow reader. Yeah. Oh, here we go. [Cassie] Oh, hey, "kiss and run." P.S., uh, I lied, those were my balls. You're welcome. Hello. - [groans] - [chuckles] Uh, look um, fuck it. I'm not gonna apologize for kissing you. I did what I did, and... that's that. So. [inhales] Yep. - [sighs] - [chuckles] Ahh, well, that's way too long of a pause. I've overplayed my hand, haven't I? Look, despite almost losing a tooth on impact, the kiss was nice. You running away was fucking weird. Yeah, I think I used up, uh, all my adrenaline on the kiss, and I...had to hide in the men's room until closing to recharge. [both laughing] - [sighs] - Mm. - Ahh. - [sighs] Look... I think you're so great. Ah. But I just broke up with Bill... - Right. [clears throat] - ...and I got all this "Girls Are Funny, Too" stuff happening... - Right. - ...and Goldie's actually letting me do a rewrite of one of the sketches. Oh, wow. Congratulations. Thank you, so it's just-- man, it's just-- it's really bad timing for me right now. Timing, right. So... is there any chance we could just be friends? Of course. [laughs] Yeah, yeah. - Okay, good. - Yeah, friends. - I'll see you later, friend. - All right. Oof. Hey. Missed your time, Sull. By ten minutes, just put me up next. - Sorry. - Who's here? Booked until 1:45. I'll put you up after Cassie. Arnie, listen, man, I had a sales call in Bakersfield and it went long, okay? I--and I have to go get the groceries, you understand? I have to sit down and have dinner with my wife and kid. I've gotta plan out this goddamn christening! What am I, Dear Abby now? 1:45. You can be a fucking dickhead, you know that, Arnie? Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Nick. - [Nick] Hey. - Hey, hey, hey. - How are ya? - Good. - How are you? - Yeah, good--good to see you. Good. This must be Tawny. - [chuckles] Hi. - Yes. My wife, Olivia. Hi. So nice to meet you. Last time I was invited to a house this nice, it had a grotto, so. [laughter] Holy guacamole, I-I love marble. - Yeah. - [Tawny] Yeah. [laughs] Oh, my God, so cute! Can we have them for dinner? 'Cause I could just eat them up. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. [laughs] She skipped lunch, so. Why don't we get you two a drink? - Great. - Yeah. Tawny, come, please. Good night, girls. [kisses] Bye. I'll see you later, okay? [Arnie] You know, I'm thinking of trying out for the Washington Generals. You know, the basketball team that's always losing to the Harlem Globetrotters? Hey, why can't white people win once in a while, right? I know what you're thinking, "Arnie, you're too small. Arnie, you're pathetic at basketball. Arnie, you're too white." No, those are the requirements to play for the Washington Generals. [laughter] Now, you know that should be you up there, right? [sighs] Goldie says all the greats take the stairs, not the fucking elevator. Or they go up the street and get themselves paid. Hey, you know Teddy's paying. Ten bucks a set. Get more if it's Adam Proteau. Ain't Teddy's going under? Man got a sudden influx of cash. You been packing Goldie's cellar really tight, and I can only imagine what it would be like if you were at Teddy's. Name on the marquee, headlining whenever you want, real money. ♪ dramatic music ♪ Yeah, and who's watching? All the kingmakers, same as here. ♪♪ Look, man, I don't know what your game is, but Goldie's got a plan, so I'm cool. Oh, right, right, right. Stairs. [laughs] Look, son, in this business, you wait too long, you wait tables. [Arnie continues set] [Arnie] Brain cancer. [laughs] This is my favorite. Oh, I've never seen a ring like this before. It's so twinkly. It's a rose-cut diamond, from India. [lounge music playing] I can't stop looking at it. Nicky, see this ring? Hint, hint. No one does subtlety like you, babe. [laughs] Olivia's dad was a jeweler in Romania, and now she makes her own stuff. Come on, come see my wine cellar. I have some bottles here that Bob Hope gave me. Whew. ♪♪ - Oh. - [clears throat] Uh... [laughs] It's okay with you, I'd prefer you fuck me the old fashioned way, 10 percent at a time, huh? You come to my house with your junkie girlfriend. I have two kids here. What are you talking about? That, I... [chuckles] She's got the flu. - Mm. - Yeah, she's got the flu and she didn't want to come, but I begged her. Uh-huh. And she took this cold medicine, and it's knocking her out, but it--it's sweet, actually. Now can we--or do I gotta keep pretending to enjoy this giant nut-covered ball of cream cheese Olivia calls an appetizer? You want me to represent you? This is what's gonna happen. You're gonna make an excuse up as to why you can't be at dinner tonight. You're gonna dump the broad, clean up your act, and never, ever come back to my house fucked up again. You kicking your habit on your own? That's a slim chance of happening. You two doing it together, zero. That's my offer. Okay. [sets drink down] Yeah, I just thought of a perfect excuse. Okay. Um, Olivia, we can't make dinner tonight because your husband's a cunt. Oh, Nick. How's that? You don't know her. - You don't fucking know me. - Mm-hmm. I could throw a rock out your front door and hit nine of you. You're not special. You are a by-product of those of us who are! [comic talking indistinctly onstage] [Bill and Sully laughing and chatting] Yeah, I know you will, you always do. Oh! Edgar. Heard you got deported. Yeah, did Mexico stick its finger down its throat and send you back? That's very funny. It's a shame Mitch isn't around to hear how witty you two are. Man, I know you're still pissed. I should've told you that-- Told me what, Edgar? That you're a selfish asshole with no regard for anyone or anything but your sorry-ass self? No. You shouldn't have told me. I should've already fucking known. Hey, man. We don't all feel that way, Edgar. As a matter of fact, I got you new headshots-- a little welcome home present. [crowd laughing in the theater] What do you think? - [laughing] Oh, man. - Fuck you! Come on, man, we're just fucking with you. Man! Prison has changed you. Yeah. Baby. Eat. They seemed so nice. Yeah, get used to it. We're gonna be fine without him. Even you said they were pretty big. Yeah, I say all kinds of things. Why do some people get so much? My sister's got a convertible. She's only had her license three months. [laughs] I could never drive one anyway. Why not? Have you ever been in one at night? All the stars twinkling right above you, it makes you just want to reach out and grab one. [laughs] Who could possibly keep their eyes on the road with all those stars, right? [laughs softly] Yeah. ♪ solemn guitar music ♪ ♪♪ [Tawny] She made really pretty jewelry, don't you think? ♪♪ Hey, you know if you fart in that, it turns red, right? - Have a seat. - No thank you. I want to be able to get out of here as fast as possible. [clears throat] Ernie Falk wants you to give him a call. Who the fuck's Ernie Falk? Uh, he's the big-time TV producer you tried to hustle the other night. You mean hustle like you told me to? Hustle, as in you take a 20 percent cut? You know, I grew up in Cold Lake, Alberta? My father used to walk across Cold Lake to work every morning when it was frozen, which was most mornings. Then one day, when I was 17, he fell through the ice and drowned. What the fuck does that even mean? Wasn't his day. You walk across that lake every day, and then one day-- No, no, I-I get it, sort of, it's--it's just a fucking terrible analogy. It's a fucking brilliant analogy. You're comparing your father drowning to me having to make an unpleasant phone call? We're all walking on thin ice, idiot! Oh, my God, seriously? Uh, speak to someone. - [scoffs] - Okay? Like, a professional, 'cause you're really fucked up. Get out. Jesus. Not you, Arnie. - He sat at your desk. - She said to leave! So, what did I miss? Besides the world's saddest pissing contest. [scoffs] Same shit. Comics complaining about time slots and whatnot. There is talk. King Theodore's. Teddy's put the word out. He's giving comics ten bucks a set. Apparently, he's got an investor. Barton Royce. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. [all murmuring] Carson. Carson. Sitcom. Development deal. Carson. Carson. Carson! Film career. Carson, Carson, Carson, Carson! Carson and fuckin' Carson. So, if any of you want to go over to Teddy's and help rearrange deck chairs for ten dollars and a sandwich, you know where the fucking door is. Money is your fucking enemy. The desire for money, I get it. Who doesn't want something tangible for all their hard work, huh? But you don't get paid until the job is done, period. That desire, that hunger, that's what keeps you fuckers awake! And raw enough to still feel the pain that delivered you to my doorstep in the first place! When I was a little kid, we raised chickens, hmm? And chicks break out of their shells. That's what gives them their strength. If someone helps them, they die. You may think you're doing them a favor, but that struggle, that is how they survive. Now, that's a fucking analogy. Fuck off. Y'all know where I stand now. You decide where you fucking stand. Goldie. You got a second? Oh, I am through begging you to give a shit. [lighter clicks] [footsteps leaving] [dance music playing] Hey, any chance you can help me with that rewrite tonight? Oh, shit. Um... I can't, I...gotta fucking work at the deli. You're a tough guy to nail down. What's good for you? It's just one sketch. Um... [hums] I don't know, let me-- I'll just-- I'll--I'll look at my schedule and I'll get back to you. You're not gonna help me, are you? Of course I'm gonna help you. Well, what am I, not gonna help you? I just--like I said, I can't, I gotta-- I can't, I got the thing. I-I got a shift. Uh-huh, and what would happen to the shift if I said I wanted to fuck you tonight? [chuckles] Well, I mean... ♪♪ Could probably get it covered. ♪♪ Hi. - [clears throat] - What are we doing? Diffusing the sexual tension that's ruining our friendship. Okay, so, you want this? Well, if this is what it takes for us to become friends again, then yes, but this is a one-time offer only, okay? This is for you to get it out of your system. Well, what if I need more than one time? One time. [music continues, muffled] Okay. No eye contact? Well, it's a tight space. Um, just the fumes are making me gag, so let's, like, move this along, okay? A little impersonal. Well, I'm gonna throw you a look over my shoulder every now and then like this. Oh, thanks. That's more of a "I stole your parking space" look than it is of, uh, arousal. [sighs] Well, I'll keep that in mind, try to make it better. [chuckles] This floor is disgusting. [clears throat] - [groans] - Are you gonna... Yeah, sorry, I just, you know, gotta ramp myself up a little bit. [sighs] [panting] What's going on back there? Uh, I'm--I'm trying to get my penis erect. [scoffs] You really know how to sweet-talk a girl. - Yeah, well-- - I'm surprised we didn't do this earlier. - [sighs] - [scoffs] [groans] Do you want me to do the look? [sighs] I'm gonna do the look. Don't do the look. All right, you know, this is-- I can't--I don't want this. [scoffs] What? What? I can get sex, Cassie, thank you very much, I can get sex. I had hoped for a little bit more with you. Well, this is all the more I have, I'm sorry, sex in a supply closet, so take it or leave it. You know, this--this is worse than a pity fuck. A pity fuck would be like if I came back home from Vietnam with...one arm, then this would be nice of you, but a "let's get this out of the way" fuck? And that's--somehow you think that's gonna lead back to a friendship? I don't do those. [music continues] ♪ solemn jazz music ♪ ♪♪ Oh, shit. Tawny. Tawny. Fuck. [groans] ♪♪ [groans] ♪♪ [sighs] Tawny. ♪♪ [sighs] Okay. ♪♪ [Barton laughs] Man, Richard's always running late. I've yet to meet a star who wasn't. Mitch, while I've got your ear, you know King Theodore's. I know where it's located. You should drop by sometime. Tell that to the comics. You know I'm investing, building the place up. It would mean a lot if you would grace our little club. Look, Barton, I got things to do and places to be. Maybe Richard can reschedule with my secretary. Of course. Busy man, places to go. Thanks for understanding. [laughs] I just thought, since we've already done business together, a little visit from you to give the club credibility with the other comics wouldn't be out of the question. [chuckles] Business? What business? Little place of mine on Laurel Canyon. You're a member, in good standing. Those your kids? ♪ solemn guitar music ♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ Yes, sir, yeah, I-I'll be there. Thank you. Thanks, thank you. Well, what did Ernie say? He get you fired, or what? No, he thought I was funny, and he likes my look, and wants me to come in and audition for a guest role on one of his sitcoms next week. - [laughing] Hey! - [squeals] - It's the fucking book! - All right! - It's the book! - Holy crap! - [laughs] - That's great, pal, congrats. You really well, what's the opposite of deserved or earned? [laughter] Ronnie, you asked and the universe provided. Yeah, I-I can't believe how much time I wasted looking for jobs when I could've just been manifesting. [sucks in air] [groans] Jesus, it's like my father's drowning all over again. Okay, dude, seriously, call a fucking hotline. Did you see where I put my boots? Right here. Oh. [chuckles] I'm such a jelly head. [chuckles] You sure you can't come tonight? [kisses] I'll blow you on the bus. [sighs] It's tempting. I gotta sort out all this agent shit here before the buzz dies down. But you'll be there, right? Tuesday night? Of course. Take the 11:40 bus, okay? Anything later on a weekday will get you in too late. Especially with traffic. ♪ lively rock music ♪ Ralph, are you supporting his head? - I-I got him. - Act like you love him. Pretend he's a Christmas ham. Okay, here it is. [chuckles] ♪♪ [unintelligible chatter] ♪♪ What have I missed? - Ooh. - Oh, ho, ho, ho! - Baby. - [laughs] [Cassie] Well, look at you. You're looking good. What do you got, like, a court appearance later? [Edgar] Oh, that's hilarious, Cass. Hey, what's the statute of limitations on lame? [Cassie] Oh, they fucked the funny out of you in prison? [Edgar] [mock laughs] Like I said. - [laughs] - All right, come on, follow me. I guess we're following Edgar now. [laughs] I've never followed Edgar anywhere, and I-- - All right, listen up. - [chuckles] I've decided to make some positive life changes, and I am giving up drugs, selling and using. Fucking have at it. - [Ron] Holy shit! - [Cassie] Oh, my God. - Oh, my God, Edgar. - Take whatever you want. Edgar, there are children here. What do you have in a nice house hallucinogen? I'm glad you asked--I have some acid, mescaline, and oh, my favorite organic hallucinogen of choice, mushrooms. Oh, hell yes. - See you later. - Yup. [sighs] [knocks] Yeah? Hey, uh, I need to know something. What--what is your plan for me here? We're working the plan. You're in the Cellar, honing your craft. No, my craft's already honed. I'm killing it every night in the Cellar. All right? I need the Main Stage. Jesus. You kids and the Main Stage are like lemmings heading off a cliff. Well, how about a straight answer? No chickens, no lemmings, no no struggle, just a straight fucking answer. You hear Barton coming out of your mouth? You think 'cause some guy offers you the moon and the stars, he can actually deliver? Barton's offering cash... - [scoffs] - ...and stage time - and a marquee. - Oh, Jesus. You're the only one offering the moon and the stars. I just want to see something, Goldie. 'Cause I heard enough. ♪ I came along and did... ♪ [Bill] Probably gonna eat it again, too. Haven't eaten in, like, two days. Hey, Ralph. You--you mind if I sit down? [Ralph] Go ahead. ♪ But now you tell me I ain't good enough ♪ So, I was thinking about what you said, and, um, I am a Jack. I-I let you down, and I get it now. ♪ You either beat me up ♪ Edgar we been friends a long time. Everybody make mistakes. I see the righteous man in you. He's way in the back, cowering in the corner. He's inside there, but he can't hide from me. Can't hide from me. ♪ Oh mama ♪ Mmm. I love you, buddy. [whispering] I love you. Damn. ♪♪ He loves you? I crushed up some MDMA and I put it in his drink. The fucking guy threw somebody from a helicopter. ♪♪ Seems to be having fun. [Ron] I think the universe is holding me up right now. [pop music playing] ♪♪ [clears throat] Hey. Ahem. Um so I've reconsidered, and, uh, if your offer's still good, there's an old refrigerator out back that the raccoons said we could use when they were done fucking. I'm so sorry. That was probably the stupidest thing I've ever done. No, I-I think my passing was the stupidest, actually. [laughs] Anyhow, um, you were a friend to me when I needed one. I can be a friend to you. Really? Yes, absolutely. Beer? [Cassie] Yeah, that'd be great. - Yeah. - [Cassie] Okay. ♪ I'm getting kind of tired now ♪ ♪ And I'd like to settle down ♪ I forgot to tell you, um, my mom's making these little apple meatloafs for your visit. Everybody gets their own and they've got brown sugar on top. ♪ Those emotions more advanced ♪ She was so wrong about you. I saw it. I saw it right from the start. ♪♪ ♪ And I'm getting kind of tired now ♪ ♪ 'Cause I've carried quite a load ♪ ♪ And don't know which way I'm going ♪ ♪ I'm just going where I go ♪ Better get on that bus. ♪ Little dewdrops fall to drink ♪ ♪ Silver minutes time to think ♪ ♪ I'm ready to go now ♪ Take care, okay? [clears throat] ♪ I'm getting kind of tired now ♪ ♪ And I'd like to settle ♪ ♪♪ ♪ And I've played the games already ♪ It was just a ring, Nicky. ♪ And the fun is wearing out ♪ ♪ As I sit here with the rest ♪ ♪ Go through motions or at best ♪ ♪ I'm ready to go now ♪ ♪♪ Is one of those for me? Um... [chuckles] No, for a friend, but I-I can go back and I can get you one. I'm kidding. [both laughing] I-I don't know anyone here, so that was just my lame attempt at flirting. Well, uh, I... you could walk with me while I think of my lame attempt at a response. Okay. [laughs] - Sorry, sorry. - Sorry. Here we are. [both laughing] Oh, here you go. Um... oh, Cassie, this is, um-- - Sorry, what was-- - Oh, Sabrina. - Sabrina. - And you're...? Eddie. My brother's name's Eddie. - Really? - Yeah. - Good name. - That is incredible. - Mm. - So, is that short for... Eduardo, or-- - Yes, yes, Eduardo. - Oh, Eduardo. Good cut. You're all right. Keep your eye on the ball next time, okay? Good cut, good cut. Who's next? Comeon. Comeon,george. Come on, jessie. You can do it! Do i have to? Yep. Mm-hmm. We talked about this. I need you to try it once. And if you don't like it, i'll never make you do it again. I just wanna go play on the playground. I know, but you might actually like it. okay? okay. i love you. Woman #2: Come on, guys! Youcando it ,blue! Hey. Missed you at the meeting. Iknow. I'msorry. I'm at tee-ball with ziggy. Just trying to get him more involved. Savor the moment because, trust me, They grow up. Areyouokay? Abigail's decided she wants to go live with her father. I'm so sorry. Now i don't have to cook all that vegan crap. Hey, can i call you back? Ziggy's about up to bat. Yeah, go. Call me later. Okay,bye. Now, keep your eye right on the ball And swing as level as you can. Okay, buddy? All right, here we go. You got this, baby! Any time you're ready, zig. Run, run, run, run! Run, ziggy, run! Run,run,run! Go,baby! Go, go, go! Go to second, go to second! Go, baby, go! Go to third, go to third, ziggy! Go, babe! Run, run, run! Home run! Home run! Home run! Slap me some skin! Oh, my god, you did it! Ah! You cannot ruin this one. It's hand wash only, so make sure and tell bonnie, Or i guess you can tell your dad. Maybe your dad does the laundry now. Maybe he does. I was thinking Now that you are gone a little bit, Maybe we could have some girlfriend time. That'd be cool. Are you ever coming back? Yeah, of course. I'm gonna come back all the time. I made a playlist for you. Are you trying to take my room? Can i? No, you can't. Maybe when i go to college, though. We should go get pizza. It's all right. What are you talking about? Baby, you just hit a home run On your very first try! I think you're actually the first kid in history To ever do that. come on, you have to be a little bit excited. Did you see those parents' faces? Everybody was like-- they were screaming! I was screaming! It was so good! We have to do my family tree. No, that's not due for another week. It's due tomorrow. No. No, it's due on the-- The 27th, i think. I put it in my calendar, 'cause i didn't wanna forget that... Oh, fuck. What did you say? Nothing. Sorry. are you fucking kidding me? Hey. God. Hey! Thank you so much. Do not worry. We've got this. Please, when abigail was little, I used to get everything late. That's fine. Hi, ziggy! I heard you hit a home run today! Yeah. That is so exciting. Congratulations. So, i organized some of the photos. Here's grandma and grandpa. Cousins, brother, more cousins. I don't know if they're first or second, though, Because i'm not sure who they-- Okay, wait, first of all, we have to draw the tree. That's the most important thing. And they want it actually on the cardboard. Here you go, honey. The assignment said the child has to contribute. Now, put the trunk on there. And you're gonna be in the trunk, And then your mom and dad are then leaves. And then we'll go from there. What about my father? Um, we don't-- We need to put him in here. You don't have a dad, sweetie, so it's-- it's okay. We'll use grandma and grandpa, and me, and great-uncle jimmy. I still have to write my dad's name on the board. Well, you know, i said that, but everybody's board Is gonna be a little bit different. You have to write down both of your parents' names. I'll get in trouble if i don't. No, you won't get in trouble. I want you to put it down. Ziggy. What is his name? Just write it down! I don't know. You know that. I've told you this story so many times. You know he would've loved you, but... What is his name, for christ's sakes? ! Go to your room! That is not okay! Have you ever tried to look him up? No. He told me that his name was saxon banks, Like mr. Banks, the dad in "mary poppins." Mm-hmm. But i googled him afterwards, and... We met in a bar. He was funny and sexy, And we were both pleasantly drunk. We got a hotel room that overlooked the ocean. It was beautiful and romantic. Ahem, and then he... Changed. What do you mean he changed? He became extremely aggressive. It was like he was operating Some piece of machinery or something. It was just so rote. I tried to resist, but... He was way bigger than i was. I eventually just stopped resisting because... I was actually afraid that he would kill me. He finished... Got up, and, um... Said goodbye. And i said bye. That was it. Oh, my god. But he gave me my ziggy, so... Have you talked to anybody about this? Like a therapist or a counselor or someone? You're the first person i've ever told. Oh, honey. There was a point where i thought that i had moved on, That i had worked through it and whatnot, But, no. I know that i'll never be over it. But i know that i have to keep moving forward, you know? That kid is-- He's gonna have a good life. But the name of his father Is not going on that fucking poster board. You're never gonna believe this. Hey. The theme for the school party Is elvis presley and audrey hepburn. Oh, dear god, no. Exactly. Where's amabella? She's in her room. I'm admiring how beautiful... Remember after the remodel, we just walked around, Staring at how perfect everything was? Can't make a perfect world. No matter what, shit happens. It felt really nice to be desired today. It meant a lot. Thank you. Honey, i always desire you. Usually, it just annoys you. No. You want to have sex all the time. Today, you desired me. okay. Okay. We still don't know the truth about jane. I'm just saying. Madeline had anger issues. Itty bitty ball of rage. Wanna see her rage issues? Call her "itty bitty." Renata had the whole kind of "sexy praying mantis, Bite your head off after sex" thing going. Oh, yeah, that bonnie's just the sweetest thing. Yeah, right. Celeste-- she is an accomplished attorney, And some people in this town resent that. Rich, beautiful, madly in love. Something had to be wrong. Hey. Hey. What are you thinking? I'm trying to decide whether i'm happy or sad. People usually know. I'm sad because-- Because my husband doubts my love for him. And happy...? I'm happy because the first time In a long time, i'm hopeful. For us. ( music playing over stereo ) Would you dance with me? I just want to hold you, Look into your eyes, Be in love with you, And feel you being in love with me. Would you? The most beautiful song For the most beautiful woman. - You got this, girl. This is your special... and you're special. Ugh, yuck. Well, it'll be great. - You sure about that? - What did you say to me? - I asked if you're sure about your performance. You don't seem that confident. - Well, what do you know? - I know a lot. I'm you. I just don't want you to get so nervous that you mess up, like that one time in show choir when you auditioned for a solo and they couldn't hear your voice because you had one of those inside farts. You know, like one of those farts that's like-- - Yeah, I know. Why are you bringing this up now? You don't have to be so rude. - I'm not being rude. - Yes, you are. You don't have faith in me. - You don't have faith in you. - Wow. You know what? You're awful, and I don't need you. Hey, I'm sorry. - You don't love me anymore. - Of course I still love you. - Then kiss me. - No. Okay, yeah, fine. Oh...oh... Oh... Whoa, okay. Wow. Whoa-ho. [giggling] Oh, oh-- Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey! Stop, I need to focus. - You suck. - [scoffs] [sighs] Ow! - [snickering] - Did you just hit me? - Yeah, I did. - Ow, ow, ow! [coughing] - I am gonna kill you! - Why are you doing this? - [cackling] - Stop it! Ugh! [glass shatters] [coughing] [panting] Oh, no. Why did you make me do that? I guess I'm on my own. - Psst. - There you are. You're all right. - Yeah, you are too. You're ready. - Yeah, I know. That's what I was saying the whole time. But it feels good to hear you say it. - Go get 'em, tiger. - Ow. [suspenseful music] [cheers and applause] [hip-hop music] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] Hello, hello. Thank you so much. Thank you guys for coming. [cheering] Thank you for coming. I really appreciate it. This is a very special night for me. And I am so glad to be doing this in New Orleans. I love it here. [cheering] I am such a fan of this place. I've had so many messy memories here. I fell in love here. [crowd whooping] It started like any classic love story. We were on mushrooms. And I don't think I'll ever do mushrooms here again. New Orleans is spooky when you're sober. Like, it's scary enough. I've real estate signs that, in all caps, say, "Haunted." Like, you're very upfront about it. It's like, "Yeah, this is a one-bedroom apartment, but you won't be alone." So we were on mushrooms, and we were trying to make out in my hotel room. Failed miserably. I don't know if anyone else has tried to make out on psychedelics. I had a hard time figuring out whose face belonged to who. So we stopped. And in the morning, we discussed our experiences, and I said that I felt like the door was wide open in our room and there was a third presence, like a third person there. And he said the exact same thing, which means a pervert died in that hotel, and his unfinished business was to watch us hook up. And that terrifying realization actually brought us closer together, and that was essentially the beginning of our relationship. So I just want to find that ghost and be like, "You can rest now." My boyfriend and I just had our two-year anniversary. [cheering] Thank you. I think we'll give it another two years before we call it quits. It's hard. Relationships are hard. And I know they take a lot of work to be successful and healthy. But I feel like I'm doing most of the work, because I'm fixing him. And I don't want to be one of these girlfriends that's like, "I need to change my man. I need to fix him." Because I love him the way he is, but... everything he does is wrong. And I need to change him. I like for people to take their shoes off when they enter my home. And he does that for the most part, but sometimes he forgets. And I have wood floors and a big rug in the living room. And we were about to leave the house, and he goes, "Babe, I have my shoes on, but don't worry; I'm standing on the rug." And I was like, what logic are we working with? When he saw the wood floors, did he see lava? And I explained to him, like, "No, babe. "I don't want people to bring their shoes into my home "because I don't want them to track dirt in. That gives me more to clean up." And he looked at me like I was explaining new math. Just never occurred to him. And I also can't tell if I'm fixing him for me or for his next girlfriend, because if we break up and he starts dating somebody else, he's gonna take his shoes off at the door. And she's gonna be like, "He's so clean. He's so conscientious." No, bitch, that was me. I did that. If you feel like you're currently dating Mr. Perfect and he does everything right, you should thank all the exes who came before you for all the hard work they put in. Anything that you see a man do that's considerate, he's doing it because, at one point in time, he made a mistake, and then some woman yelled at him. And if you're not laughing, it's because you're currently being yelled at. And you're welcome. We already did the meet-the-parents thing, which I was nervous about, because I never introduced a significant other to my parents before. And I think they were just happy that I brought somebody home, because I didn't start dating anybody till I was 23, and I didn't bring my boyfriend home till years after that. So my mom's request for a person got broader and broader as the years went by. At first, she was like, "I want you to bring home a God-fearing man." And then years went by, and I didn't bring anyone home. And she goes, "I want you to bring home a man." And then years went by, and she goes, "I want you to bring home... a woman? "It's cool. "Totally fine. "I just don't know what you're doing. Can't really read it." And then years went by, and she goes, "You know what, you do you. "I'll just adopt some grandkids. I don't care anymore." But it's good. My relationship with my mom is getting stronger, which is really cool. I figured that, as I got older, my relationship with her would be more adult-to-adult. But what's happening is, I'm becoming an adult, and she's becoming a teenager. Is that happening to anybody else? [applause] It's so strange. She keeps doing and saying things that she thinks are really cool, but they just weird me out. We were talking about weed recently, because my brother's going to art school in Colorado. So... He's minoring in weed. And she goes, "I don't know "why he had to go all the way to Colorado for weed. I can get weed whenever I want." And I was like, "You can get weed whenever you want? Do you have a dealer?" And she goes, "No, it's in my room." Which is not "getting" weed. That's having weed. And I was like, "Okay." And she was so proud of it. She's like, "Yeah, I can smoke anytime I want." And I was like, "Cool," and then changed the subject very quickly. I think that may have been an invitation for us to smoke together, but I didn't want to take it, because I smoke and drink to escape my life stressors. And if I get high with one of my main life stressors, I don't think I'm gonna have a good time. And when I went to visit her, I had a rental car, and I let my mom drive it. And the steering wheel was thinner than the steering wheel in her car that she drives every day, so she made note of it and was like, "This steering wheel is too thin. I like a big, thick steering wheel." And I was like, "Okay." And she goes, "Yeah, you know why? 'Cause it reminds me of gripping a big dick." And I was like, "No!" And then she kept going... and was like, "Yeah, bet you didn't think I had a preference." And I was like, "Why would I ever think about that? No, it hasn't crossed my mind." But looking back at how many grips and covers and cushions my mom used to put on her steering wheel when I was younger... safe to say that Mommy likes it big. Which is good for me to know, because it shows me that we have more in common that I thought. I like getting to know my mom as an adult, because there were so many holes of knowledge when I was younger. There were just so many things I didn't know. Like, I knew certain things, but didn't know the backstory of those things. I knew that she doesn't like white people. And I could take some guesses as to why. But it was never explained. One day, we were in her car, and she stopped to let this old white couple pass in front of us, and she lets out this deep sigh like, "Ugh... White people." And I was like, "Uh...what's wrong? They're not even talking to us right now." And she goes, "Memories." And that's where the conversation ended. And she would do that a lot. She'd just chalk things up to memories, and I would never follow up and ask what those memories were. And I was so young and just, like, left to my own devices. I would, like, make up stories as to what I thought she was saying. Like, I imagined if I asked her, like, "Mom, what do you mean when you say memories," she'd say something like, "Well, Sasheer, when I was 11 years old, "I went to the public library in Little Rock, Arkansas. "And I was buy myself, "and this old white man came up to me "and put his hand on my shoulder. "And something about his hand on my shoulder "and me holding the book "sucked us into the world of the book. "And we landed in this magical forest "where the trees could talk to us "and the dirt tasted like licorice. "Now, we didn't know where we were, "so we split up to find help, "and the old white man went one way, "and I went another way, "and I found this cave. "And inside the cave was this big, beautiful dragon "with a purple tail and glittery wings. "And she spoke to me and said that she would take care of me "if I just stayed there with her. "I lived with that dragon for the next three years of my life. "And on one of our morning walks, "Crackle and I-- "that's her name, Crackle the Dragon-- "we saw the old white man. "And I don't know what kind of adventures "he went through on this three-year journey "in this magical land, "but he looked totally different. "He was shirtless, and he was ripped, "and he was carrying a bow and arrow. "And he saw me with Crackle, "and he thought I was in danger. "And he shot Crackle through the heart. "And I cried and said, "'You don't know what you're doing! ' "But shooting the dragon through the heart "is what we needed to get back to reality. "So we landed back in the library. "And the old white man returned to his job "as the Little Rock public librarian, "and I started classes at a segregated high school. And that's why I don't like white people." [applause] I eventually asked my mom about it, and I was way off. Way off. My parents named me Sasheer, which is hard for some people to pronounce, which I get. There's two "S"s in there. So... One's a "sss," one's a "shh." So it's like, "What do we do?" And the people who get my name wrong the most are white people. And I don't want to make it a race thing. But... Numbers are in. Studies have shown that the demographic that consistently gets my name wrong are Caucasian. I did this show once, and the host was white, and probably still is. And... She could not get my name for the life of her. Kept saying things like Shasheer or Saheer and moving letters around in my name and attacking it like a Sudoku puzzle. And I was like, "It's cool, really. You can call me Sheer for short if you can't get it." And she looks at me and she goes, "Can I just call you Jane?" And I was like, "If you want to give me a slave name." [applause] You can't do that. Just change someone's name for the convenience. Is this "Roots"? Are you trying to Toby me right now? And every time that happens, I want to get so sassy and be like, "Oh, I'm sorry my name's too ethnic for you. "Sorry you can't fit all that heritage in your little lips." [cheers and applause] But I don't really have a right to be angry in that regard, because my name's not actually from any island or African culture. It's from "Star Trek." My parents are Trekkies. Technically Trekkers. That's what the fans were called when the show first came out. And they were watching an episode together-- Season 2, Episode 50-- and Captain Kirk was flirting with this alien princess, as he does. And he gave her a rose, and she goes, "Oh, we have something like this on my planet, except it's made out of crystal and it's called Sasheer." And my parents were like, "Yes! That'll be our daughter." And they gave each other a Vulcan high five and called it a night. Then why were you out in it the night before last? I wasn't. I was here all night, Mum. Whoever she is, she's not worth the bother. I think David's mixed up in something. That girl they found in the Kingsmead... Jack, it's me, Jane. Just checking in on the latest on the Bentleys. Apparently, they're gonna rob a bank. - There's something going out between those brothers. We have movement at the Pembridge. Do you know what kind of man Clifford Bentley is? What's that for? You a superstitious man, Silas? He's losing his grip on this job. There's a matching necklace, part of a set. My God. - Jane, there's something... - Yes? I saw you both earlier. You should speak to him. If you're serious. About what? - Sarge? - What the hell was that? Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Golf Hotel to all units. I need a report. Someone tell me what the hell's going on! I want two of you on doors! Get everyone out of the flats! Two of you here. Two of you there. Cordon off the area! David...? There were coppers watching the cafe. I legged it. - What do you mean? What happened? - We need to go. The police are everywhere. Where's John and your dad? Have they been arrested? Dunno. I saw the police and came back as fast as I could. - But you warned them? - Of course. I told them to get out. You go. I'll stay here and wait for your dad and John. I'll go to Reg's place and meet you there. David, stop. Wait there. Take it all. Wait until dark, then get yourself away from here. I love you, Ma. Sarge? Sarge? Spence? Spence? Shit. What happened? - I can't hear a bloody word. - Where's everyone else? Morgan! Morgan? She's alive. People in front... Guv? Guv? Can you hear me, anyone? Body over here! - Guv! - It's John Bentley. No. Len! Len! Len! Len! Len! Len! - He's gone. He's gone. - Len... - He's gone. He's gone. - Hey! Len! No, no, no. You can't go in there. You can't go in there! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Renee! Let me in. Where's John? Ain't he with you? No. What do you mean, "no"? Cliff, where is he? As... As soon as I heard the police coming in, I told him to get out. I screamed at him that he had to go. But you saw him leave? Where is he, then? Where's David? Did he make it back? He's... waiting for us at Reg's. Cliff, please, do the right thing and let him go. You can take responsibility for this. - What are you on about? - David's not like you. He won't cope in prison. Give him a chance to get away. Nobody's going to prison. Look. You should have seen what we left behind. There's enough here. Grab your case. Come on. I'm staying here, in case John comes back. He's not coming back. I'm staying here. All right. All right? Not really. When I first saw him down there... I thought he was knocked out. - I thought he'd choke up on some dust and... - Hudson, stop talking. Just be quiet. - I'm just saying. - Both of you, shut up. Right, gents. I've got teams of Uniforms briefed and ready to go and hunt Clifford and David Bentley. I suggest you make yourselves useful and join 'em. What do you think? Yeah. Come on. Jane... come ride with us. Best thing's to keep busy. Got you that from the hospital shop. Can't stand that stuff. Such gratitude! You look like you could use it more. Apart from feeling like someone's stuck knitting needles in my ears, I'm fine. Did they tell you what happened? The doctor said there'd been some fatalities. Are all our team accounted for? Er... two suspects inside the vault and erm... No? Police! Clifford and David. Where are they? - You can't just barge in here! - Where are they? I ain't seen them. They're not here. Bollocks. - Don't lie to us. - 'Ere, I know you. Have a heart and tell me. What happened to my son John? She doesn't know. Right. Well, John's dead. Where are the other two? A man we identified as John Bentley was killed in an explosion at the British Savings Bank... - All right. Now she knows. - Daniel Mitcham... and our colleague, Detective Inspector Leonard Bradfield. We need to know where Clifford and David are. I ain't seen 'em. There's no-one here. Right. I'm sick of this. - Where are they? - I don't know. - Who told you about John? - What? It was on the wireless. We haven't released that information yet, so who told you John didn't get away? Nobody. A Bentley till the bitter end? Deal with her. Irene Bentley, I'm arresting you under suspicion of assisting an offender. Excuse me. Have you seen this man recently? No. Thank you, sir. Yes? - Excuse me, sir. My name's DC Ashton... No. Excuse me. Have you seen this man before? - No, sorry. - Sure? Yeah, I'm sure. I didn't know you were back. We've brought in Renee Bentley. I came back to join the manhunt... but I've just been sat in here for half an hour. You need to see this. Hudson and I found it in the Bentley lock-up. It matches the bracelet Julie-Ann was wearing when she died. Yes, sir. Understood. Absolutely. Thank you, sir. Super's finished the next-of-kin visit. Think I'm gonna head off and see 'em myself. Could you pass these on? It's the Guv's watch and wallet, and his warrant card. - Sarge, if you need a WPC... - Tennison... Like you said, I need to keep busy. It's his wife and kids. Paul, can I borrow you? I need you to check something for me. Do you know how many wives and girlfriends we've had sat across from us, insisting they were completely in the dark? You're in this up to your neck. We're watching all the ports, so they have nowhere to go. I don't know where they are. That's bollocks, and you know it. - Sarge, can I...? - Tennison, we've got this. No. Go on. If you want to help David, you need to tell us where he is. Did David tell you about Julie-Ann? She was 17. Someone strangled her and dumped her with the rubbish, like she didn't matter. Where was he on the evening of Sunday 13th May? - I don't know. - It was raining that night. Did he come home, soaked to the skin? He was home! How's he been acting since? You're his mum. Mums always know when something's not right. I found... a photo of them both. Him and Julie-Ann. She mattered to David, didn't she? Did he tell you about her? Did you know she was pregnant? - Was the child David's? - God... God. Where can we find him? Where? You can't defend him on this. Where is he? I don't know. I found this in the corner, under a shelf there. 200 quid, stuffed in an old biscuit tin. And here... shoe marks... size and pattern of which seem a good match for Julie-Ann's boots. How far from here to where her body was found? 300-400 yards. Possible she was dragged all that way? Possible. This could be where she was strangled. That money you found at the lock-up matches the notes Julie-Ann stole from her dad. Well, we know she was doing a deal with O'Duncie. After she left the squat, she needed a secure location to stash the money until the deal was in place. So she gave it to David to hang on to? But why did he turn the garage upside-down? He'd know where it was. - To destroy the crime scene? - She's nervous. O'Duncie has already beaten up Eddie, so she's not gonna trust anyone with £200, and doesn't tell David where she's hidden it. Then on the 13th, David Bentley wants to know where the money is. And ends up throttling her. - We've found the Bentley van. - Yes, sarge. Let's go. Sarge. The list of Bentley associates and their last-known addresses. - You sent cars out? - Sergeant Harris thought you'd coordinate. WPC Tennison... What does that look like to you? Julie-Ann's bra. She was moved in the van. I thought dragging her all that way on crutches was unlikely. We need to find the hole he's hiding in and visit the known associates in the area. Right. We're gonna start with addresses nearest the Pembridge and then fan out. Hudson, Edwards. Your list. Harris, your list. Tennison, with me. - Hello. Have you seen this man, David Bentley? - No. Never seen him. - Positive? - Quite sure. Sorry to... bother you. My name's DC Edwards. I'm from Hackney Police. Do you recognise this man at all? Er... no, sorry. No. We'd have a better chance getting Clifford's mates to tap-dance than co-operate. Here. You can drive. I nearly bust a stitch going down those stairs. - I haven't done the job driving course yet. - But you can drive. Well, thank you, sir. It's a bloody wild-goose chase. Where next? Next one's on Fairview Avenue. None of my business, but I know you and Bradfield were... He really liked you. Anyone could see that. Like I said... none of my business. When I mentioned Clifford Bentley, that last fella spat on the floor. Right. This is it. Reggie Barker. How would David move the body on his own? I've seen a wife butcher a husband twice her size. You'd be surprised what people are capable of when shit hits the fan. Not long before evening drinking. Someone should be in. Open up! Police. I can see you! Idiot. Sarge? Stay there. Make sure no one comes out. Reggie Barker, is it? - Where are you going, mate? - I don't want no trouble. - The Bentley boy's upstairs. - David's here? Yeah. Stinking the place out with that bloody stuff. Is his old man here, as well? - He's CID. - So? So I don't want no part of this. - Help me move him. - No, you're on your own, Cliffy. You're on your own. Five One Seven to Golf Hotel. Golf Hotel to Five One Seven. Receiving. Over. Back-up needed at the King's Head pub, Fairview Avenue. Hey! David? Please just go. Don't do this. Talk to me. David... I know you weren't at the bank vault. I followed you to the lock-up... - I don't care any more. - Is that where Julie-Ann died? If you jump, they'll say you did it. I didn't! I'd never hurt her. But you were her boyfriend and you never came forward. David, I know about you and Julie-Ann. No. No, you don't. She was everything to me. She... She was beautiful. She took away my pain... all of it. All I wanted was for us to get away from here, from the estate, the drugs. From her selling herself. He thought she was just a junkie with a big mouth. He didn't know who she was or what she meant to me. - Your dad? - No. You mean John? Are you talking about John? Tell me, David. What happened? If it was John... why? Cos I told her about the job. I told her about the fucking job and he found out. It was me who found her body in the car park. It was me who made the phone call. David, let me help you. Please. Julie-Ann wouldn't want you to do this. If what you're saying is true, and it was John, then this needs to come out. - David, we need to go. - No. We can help you. Shut up. Come on, son. Let's go. What about John? Is he with you? He got caught in the explosion. - He's dead, David. - Shut up! But you made it out all right? Come on. - David, if you leave... - One more word from you...! Dad! - Dad! No! - No. Stop! No! I need something to stop the blood. Help me. Help me! Press on his chest. I'll get an ambulance. Please. No! Coward! Erm... - Erm... I need to get an ambulance. - Don't leave me. I'm cold. - Back-up's on its way. - What's your name? WPC... Jane. Jane... I loved her. - I know. I know. - I loved her. Stay with me, David. Stay with me. You piece of scum... You're nicked. Get this bag of piss down the station. Sarge. - Tennison, are you hurt? - No. No. It's... It's not my blood. It's... It's David Bentley's. He's dead. Let's get you to the station and get you cleaned up. Come on. Come on. Come on. We'll get you in the car, all right? Take her to the station, OK? When are you coming back? I don't think I am. What? Do you know what my mum said to me, when I was joining the force? No doubt the same as mine. That you were mad. She said I'd end up dead. And you think this has proved her right? Kath, you can't give up. You've got a shot at joining CID. I'd give my right arm to be in your shoes. It's not giving up, accepting your limitations. I need someone to look up to. I'm not much of a role model. You're not if you quit. Funeral's tomorrow. So surreal. He was standing right in front of me. How are you holding up? Good. Come on. Let's go. Hello? - Jane! - Mum... We're here now. Shh. Let's pack up your things, and we'll drive you home. Erm... no, it's all right. I want to stay here. - Erm... - OK. - OK. - I'll be fine. I promise. Would you both stay, just for a little bit? Of course we will. As long as you need us to. What do you want? I wanted to return this to you... make sure you got it. It was David's. One of the lads at the station was meant to get it back to you a couple of weeks ago. He forgot. Can't trust men to get anything right. Ta. Take care of yourself. One glowing review, you're the Sheriff of Hackney? It's just... It's just what? You don't want to spend the rest of your life in uniform, like me? - You'll put in a word for me? - Look, you're on top brass's radar, and CID have nothing but good things to say about you, so just bide your time, be patient. - I'm not very good at that. - No, I'd noticed. In the meantime... Clifford Bentley's brief's kicking up a stink, saying I hit him during his arrest. Now, someone might want to ask you some questions about that, so er... - You didn't touch him, sarge. - Yeah. That's how I remember it, an' all. - Now, back into Comms, Tennison. - Yes, sarge. Golf Hotel to Four-O-Two. Reported break-in at William Hill on Beckett Road. Over. Golf Hotel to all units. Mugging reported on West Road. Victim is with a Mrs Jenkins at number 18. Over. All right. Listen up, please, lady and gents... Previously on "Incorporated"... Hello, Aaron. You're a skint from the fugee camp who assumed a Green Zone identity. - [both grunting] - [choking] I can't let you hurt my family. - Where you gonna send him? - South. - Goran... - Who is this? - A doctor. - You know this is my block, - right? - No, what're you doing? - [screaming] - I give you this space. I help you set it up. You want me to open a clinic? Want Gavros to come back? The Green Zone scout? - I can't win. - Of course you can. - What's this? - That's insurance. [yells] - [screams] - Stop it! - Shh, sweet boy, let me help. - [whimpering] It's a little gift for a good night's work. Your plan is to take birth control behind your wife's back? Forget about Elena. Have some kids. - Sell some cookies. - [grunts] I'm beginning to think it was an inside job. - [groans] - With your permission, I'd like to use Everclear on the entire department. Everything I'm doing is for Elena. Only one person benefits from all of this. Elizabeth's son-in-law. They're gonna use Everclear on me. The only way to get past it is to erase Aaron. What do you mean, "We're going to erase Aaron?" When they put me through Everclear, they'll find out about everyone. Roger, Elena, you. I need to map out my brain and lock all those memories away. Away? Away where? Here. This is an imprint of my current neural map. Once I pass Everclear, I need you to connect this to the base of my skull to bring me back. You'll only have a few days to do it or Aaron will be gone for good. If that thing doesn't lobotomize you completely first. I'm just temporarily disconnecting some circuits. Aaron isn't a circuit. It's who you are. But he's not who I need to be right now. This is gonna sting. [device beeping] Strap me in. [soft dramatic music] So now what? Just, uh, flip a switch and say, "Bye, bye, Aaron." Either that or this thing turns me into a vegetable. Relax. It knows exactly which memories to sever. Then my brain will fill the gaps with the cover story I'm using. The lie becomes the truth. At least that's the idea. ♪ Bite guard. So what if after all this, you still fail Everclear? ♪ Then you run. [exhales sharply] ♪ [device thrumming] [grunting and screaming] [electronic chime] You have arrived. [electronic chime] You have arrived. [electronic chime] You have arrived. Thank you. - Off. - [electronic beep] [high-pitch squealing] [groans] [soft music] ♪ [soft dramatic music] ♪ Morning health scan. [electronic chime] Heart rate, 55 beats per minute. Blood pressure, 120 over 80. LDL cholesterol, 170 milligrams. Sperm count, optimal. Yesterday we thought Roger Caplan was a traitor. Now we're saying one of us might have killed him? [speaker chimes] Retrieve the GPS data. ♪ Mr. Gates. To what do I owe the pleasure? I want you to report to me directly on this. There's a chain of command. You mean Elizabeth? She's the weak link in that chain. Do you really wanna be holding on to it when it breaks. If the outcome of this inquiry were to reflect poorly on her, a better position could come your way. You'd oversee security across all of North America. More power, more authority. You'd never have to set foot in the Quiet Room again. I have to get back to work, sir. ♪ [device beeps] [exhales] Jesus. You got a gut feeling about who did this? I have someone in mind. Hey, didn't hear you come home last night. I didn't. I fell asleep in my car. - You what? - [chuckles softly] You're working too hard. I know you want that promotion, but don't kill yourself for a swimming pool. You're right. I'm sorry, did Ben Larson just concede that his job isn't the be-all end-all of everything? Maybe it's time I put us first instead. Why don't you come home early tonight? I'll be here. Unless you want me to sleep in the car again. [chuckles softly] Um... Ben, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about. What? [chuckles softly] What is it? Um... - [high-pitch squeal] - [groans] Shit. Migraine? Hydrate, aspirin, and caffeine. - Lots of caffeine. - Yeah. What did you want to tell me? You know, it... It's just work. I should go. Big day today. Thanks for the coffee. Every time. Bring up retail. How may I assist you this morning, Mr. Larson? I wanna buy something for my wife. What's the occasion? Just because. May I suggest jewelry? I thought you might. How about a ring? A silver band. Lined with amethyst. Is amethyst your wife's favorite stone? I just think it would look nice. Hey, that one. It's perfect. [pop music playing] Pretty. Can I have it? No. Don't touch that. I got an idea. ♪ Don't move. I'm gonna smack that ball into Lake Michigan. [grunts] Ah. [breathing heavily] - Morning, gorgeous. - What're you doing? Hi. [laughs softly] - You're gonna kill her. - [both laugh] Get off me. Get off me. Hey, give me the bat. You're still high. Come here. I said "give me the bat." I think it's time for you to sober the hell up. Hell, no. We're just getting started. - Now give me the bat. - You're hurting me, all right? It's not hurting. This is fun. Let go! [grunts] Shit! [dramatic music] - I'm sorry! - [grunts] Are you crazy? [breathing heavily] Give me the goddamn bat! Give me the bat. Come on. [both grunt] Ah, Jesus, Theo. [soft dramatic music] Thanks. Fuck you. [door slams] ♪ [footsteps approaching] Rachel. - Why am I here? - I wanted to offer you a job. I told you. I don't wanna work for you anymore. Would you work with me? I-I don't know the first thing about nursing. Well, maybe not, but you know more about these patients than I ever will, and there's so much to set up. We don't even have power yet. [pounding on door] - [coughing and wheezing] - We need help. - What's wrong with him? - He can't breathe. Come here. In here. [soft dramatic music] This way. Right here. Lay him down. Rachel, can you put the oxygen mask on? Thank you. - What the hell is in his chest? - His-his heart's off rhythm. ♪ Why does he have this? He had a congenital heart defect. An... an aortic valve stenosis. We... we took his real heart out when he was ten. When's the last time you updated the settings? We haven't. We... we can't. - [gasping] - Help him. Rachel, plug this into that generator. Can you lift his shirt up, please? ♪ You're gonna need to hold him down. Do we have power? - [generator thrumming] - We have power. [grunting] That'll keep his blood pumping, but the generator's not gonna run forever. - [machine beeping] - If we wanna save your son, we need to reset that heart. [high-pitch squeal] Mr. Larson, follow me, please. [dramatic music] ♪ Is there a problem? We're about to find out. Why aren't you taking me to school today? Her lunch is in the fridge. Something big is happening at work and I have to prepare for it. What about my dance class? Oh, I'm sorry, honey. Today's gonna be different. School and then home. I promise we'll talk about it later, okay? I love you. [soft dramatic music] ♪ Why are you doing this? Did I do something wrong? [device beeps] Can someone please talk to me? What is your name? Ben Larson. - Louder, please. - Ben Larson. ♪ Mr. Larson, where were you raised? What? Seattle. Why are you asking me this? What school did you attend? [high-pitch squeal] - [grunts] M.I.T. West. ♪ Roger Caplan. What is the question? Is this about him defecting? ♪ Describe your relationship with Mr. Caplan. - Mr. Larson. - Roger's a friend. He can be a lot to handle, but we've been working together for a long time. Look, I had nothing to do with him defecting, if that's what you... When did you see him last? What's going on? Answer the question. Where did you see him last? I-I don't know. Work, I think. - Is that Roger? - [door closes] Did... did an Inazagi kill him? Why are you showing me this? Hey, did you hear me? What happened? Roger Caplan was murdered. Oh, God. Who would want to hurt him? [stammers] I don't know. Who would want to hurt Roger Caplan? I don't know. - Did you ever hurt him? - No. Never. How did he wind up dead in his car? I told you. I don't know. I can't look at these. Please, I wanna get out. Explain why your DNA and fingerprints - are all over his car. - I've been in his car lots of times. His heart rate's high. What about his brain activity? - It's normal. - Eye movement? - Stress responses? - He's just scared, but everything else is normal. He doesn't know a thing. [suspenseful music] ♪ Out. [quietly] Who framed Chad Peterson? Chad? What does he have to do with Roger? Who framed Chad Peterson? I don't know what you're talking about. ♪ [machinery humming] Please continue to hold. Your call is very important to us. [upbeat music playing over phone] Please continue to hold. Come on. Come on. Hello, thank you for calling Hema-Bionics. - This is Dr. Larson at... - I'll need the serial number of the device, please. 928-H4W. It's a bionic heart. I just need you to reset it. One moment. We don't have a record of purchase of this cardiac regulator. What difference does that make? If there's no record, it means that it was stolen from one of our facilities. It's company policy for us to permanently deactivate all stolen tech. Thank you for reporting this to us. Wait, you can't do that. You bought it black market? It was a family connection. He said it was legit. My patient needs that regulator. I'd be happy to connect you to sales. - I need a fix now. - We offer same day service at any one of our approved corporate medical facilities. No, they cannot go to a corporate... Please hold. [call beeps] [music resumes] We can't reset your sons heart remotely. [sighs] Look up schematics on cardiac regulator series VC02. [computer beeps] Display. [exhales] I'll have to do it myself. [soft dramatic music] ♪ [grunts] [high-pitch squealing] Oh, shit. You okay? You seem upset. Hi. It's just a headache. That's it? Just a headache? Sorry, Mr... Hendrick. Human resources. We live in the same neighborhood. Right, I bought cookies from your daughter. Yes, Hazel can be very persuasive. Kids, man. That must be fun. My wife and I just got approved to have a baby. Oh, you... you want a family? Mm. What's it like? The truth? Uh... well, you become a supporting character in your own life. [both chuckle] Hey, can I ask you something? I, uh... I need an objective opinion. - Sure. - I have this friend, Aaron, I love him. We go way back, but I'm not sure if he's good to have around me and my family. What do you mean? Well, it's not that he's a bad guy, he's just, uh, misguided. I'm sorry. I'm not quite following. Wh... if you had to choose between a good friend and doing what's best for your daughter... you're gonna be a father, so what would you do? Well, family always comes first, right? ♪ You know, I couldn't agree more. Thanks for the coffee. [dramatic music] ♪ [exhales] [case beeps] [lock clicks] Birth control? [soft dramatic music] ♪ Mr. Caplan? As you requested, sir. Thank you. ♪ Mr. Caplan? Ben Larson. I work with Roger. We were friends. Everyone here's devastated. I'm... I'm so sorry. I know how close you two were. If you were really my son's friend, you'd know that Roger hated me. I'm sure that's not true. Did Elizabeth send you here? Be nice to the old man so he doesn't start supplying the competition? This has nothing to do with Ms. Krauss. ♪ You weren't friends with Roger. There are no friends in this place. For all I know, you're the one that killed him. Mr. Caplan, Spiga's an honorable company. This isn't a job, it's a lifetime commitment... to the corporation and to each other. Nice speech. Does it come with a side of bullshit? I promise you, Mr. Caplan, I will do whatever I can to find out who did this. ♪ [sighs] Forgive me if I don't believe you. Now get the hell out of my face. ♪ How did Ben Larson beat Everclear? Was there any signs of tampering? - Remote access? - No, sir. We've looked three times. He developed this machine, it only stands to reason he knows it better than us. Sir, I viewed the schematics, the data, the results. I tested it on myself. From what I can tell, Larson had no knowledge of the murder. Keep looking. ♪ What if I'm losing it again? What happened today? I got an up-close look into the mind of a man I was convinced was a murderer, but all the evidence says otherwise. Every explanation comes up in his favor. Maybe he's innocent. Maybe. I've always been good at spotting guilt. Haven't always been good at spotting innocence. Hey, hey. You're not that guy. You're home with me, with your daughter. You're in a good place. But you don't know what goes on in that room. You don't know what goes on in here. Julian, you can't do this job alone. Find someone you can trust. [machinery puttering] - We're almost out of power. - All right, we need to move. Can you, please, clear the room? I'm gonna try to jump-start it. [flatlines] [high-pitch whirring] Clear. Clear. - You're killing him. - Have to reset it manually. - What's happening? - His heart's already stopped. She's just trying to reboot it. There. That's the manual override. - Are you sure? - Just hold the tablet still. [grunts] Shit. [flatline continues] [machine beeping rhythmically] [exhales] Sir? I'm wondering who you have handling tech on Roger's murder investigation. That's above your paygrade. This isn't about Roger anymore. I spoke to his father; he thinks it's an inside job. If we lose that supplier, Spiga's current crop yield takes a hit, we can kiss our second-quarter projections good-bye. That's above your paygrade and mine. I meant what I said in there. Roger was my friend. An asshole, but... my friend. I know you need the help. You don't even have a crime scene location. How do you know that? You wouldn't still be here if you did. ♪ My men scoured that trash dump. There's not a trace of Roger Caplan or his assailant. How'd you determine the location? GPS from his car. Well, you can look there all day, I don't think you'll find anything. Whoever did this knew you'd look at the GPS. They must have covered their tracks by spoofing the data. If you wanna know where the crime really took place, you have to find the anomaly in the GPS data. ♪ This code repeats itself twice. ♪ The route here has been artificially extended, so the point where the code repeats is where the hack begins. This is where the GPS was spoofed. Everything that comes after this point is a fake trail. This is your crime scene location. [dramatic music] ♪ [indistinct chatter] - Hey! - Excuse me. Yeah. [soft dramatic music] ♪ Hey. This is where it happened. ♪ Breathing, circulation, BP, all normal. So I'm good? You're alive. [door opens] Nobody move! Get down now. [guns clicking, footsteps] Where's the doctor in charge. I'm Dr. Larson. You're in possession of illegally acquired tech, a cardiac regulator. Serial number, 928-H4W. It was reactivated against our consent. We're here to shut it down. You have no right to be here. Failure to comply will result in your arrest and prosecution. [suspenseful music] This is a clinic. - Step aside. - You need to leave now. - Put your guns down. - Put it down, asshole! Lower your gun now. We haven't met. I'm Goran. ♪ Well, that's okay. I already know Hema-Bionics. I provide security for your men when they come here to buy plasma from my people. It would be a shame if our partnership took a sudden turn. Think like a corporation. What holds more value? A mechanical trinket or the security of your workforce? Thank you. I'm just protecting my investment. No cameras, good luck finding witnesses, and in this smog, we won't get satellite imagery either. [metallic clicking] [soft dramatic music] ♪ Wind speed, direction, smog patterns. It's a weather monitoring system. What's tech like this doing out here? We can't get accurate weather readings in the Green Zone because of the ionized fields. Which means we can't monitor incoming tornadoes or dust storms. Gold star for the suit. Now why the hell are you on my roof? This yours? He's a weather wrangler. Collects data out here to sell to companies inside the wall. 'Cause none of you powderpuffs can handle it out here. Then you're the guy we wanna talk to. There's my girl. How was your day? - Thank you. - Good-bye. It was long, and I missed dance. Oh, well, I'm sorry, sweetie. I promise I'll make it up to you, okay? Now, who wants a snack? - [communicator chimes] - Me. ♪ Honey, why don't you, uh... why don't you finish off your... Your city diorama for school. You're acting weird today, Dad. Hazel, please. ♪ Hello, Reed. If you're getting this, it's because you haven't brought me back yet. Look, I get it. Your life is safer without Aaron, but if you wait too long, I don't get to reverse what I did and Elena never gets out. I hate to do this, but a certain hacker I used to run with taught me to always have a fail-safe. So here it is: You have 72 hours to bring me back or your real identity gets released to Spiga. Your cover will be blown. You know what you have to do, so do it. [communicator beeps] [rock music] ♪ [indistinct chatter] Whoo! Where the fuck have you been? You're on tonight. I don't need a warmup. How much you drink today? I want to fight. That's who you're fighting. Cool. Terrence, you wanna get that fight, the kid should sit this one out. Kid, Gavros is coming tonight. I told him all about my thoroughbred, and he says he can get us a fight beyond the wall, if he likes how fast he runs. So... why am I looking at a mule. I want to fight. [soft dramatic music] The steaks better be good tonight. [suspenseful music] Rage me. Now? Yeah, now. [exhales, breathes shakily] Again. ♪ Do you remember seeing anything that day? Or do you know anyone who might? I don't socialize much. Tell your man to keep his finely manicured fingers off of my tech. Well, you monitor wind speed and direction, what about the sound the wind makes? Data equals cash, kid. How about heat signatures? [quietly] Yeah. [tense music] His readings could triangulate when wind and sound - make contact with an object. - How does that help us? If we can pinpoint the precise point of impact every time wind hits that object, I think I can build a 3D outline of what the crime scene looked like. You can get me a face? If his data's reliable, I'll be able to show you who killed Roger before you're done with dinner. You just signed your new client. Give him what he wants. [computer beeping] [footsteps approaching] Dad, what're you doing? I was thinking we might go camping. Like in the backyard? Uh, no, a little further than that. I thought we could head up north. Thought we could sleep under the stars just for a while. Doesn't that sound fun? We'd go outside the wall? Well, yes. Would we have to go through the Red Zone to get there? Since when have you been worried about the Red Zone? My Spiga Scout leader says bad people live there, and they hate us. That's why we have the wall. Hazel, your scout leader is a dummy. Now, come on. We'd be together the whole time. We'd share an adventure. You and me. - I don't wanna go there, Dad. - [exhales] My friends are here, school's here, - the scout's are here. - Hazel... It's scary. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. It was just a thought. [exhales] It was... it was... like make-believe. I'll never make you do that, sweetie. Take wind data and render it into 3D. [computer beeping] Add sound data and triangulate where each sound hits an object. Close-up on the lower frame in front of me. Am I interrupting? Or are you busy making private time with our home network? That minx. Power down. Mr. Larson, setting aside work for your wife? This is a first. I told you this morning. I wanna put us first. [soft music] - [giggles] - [breathing heavily] ♪ [soft dramatic music] I see you upgraded your gear. Well, you never know what kind of scumbag I might catch sneaking around my office. I'm not worried. You can't aim worth a shit. [both laugh] The last time I saw you was when? The general's funeral. Right after the D.O.D. closed up shop and sent us home with a $600 check and our dicks in our hands. You've come a long way. - Ah. - [chuckles] You remember the last thing you told me? When my uncle said he'd hook us up? That I was done hurting people. And you wanted a cozy corporate job. How's that working out for you? I'm not here to reminisce. Then why are you here, exactly? I need some information about a hit on a suit. A hit? Outside the wall. The man from Spiga's here to see me about a murder. I'm here to see if you'll help out a fellow soldier. Well, now you're just trying to take advantage of my soft heart. You really want my help? Then take my offer. It's still on the table. I'm happy with my job. I fund a clinic. I'm a man of the people. What do you do after you punch in? Brother, I just need information. Of course, Cap. I'll ask around. If I hear anything you'll know. Was that so hard? Now, why don't you tell me why you're really here. ♪ My wife says I'm supposed to trust someone. What's it say about me that you're the one I trust? ♪ [both breathing heavily] You seem different. Yeah, how so? You're just present. [chuckles] I didn't realize I was being so absent. What did you wanna tell me this morning? Something was on your mind? I wanna quit my job. - What? - [exhales] I started a clinic outside the wall. - Laura... - I just can't take it anymore. The tongue extensions, the belly button removals. I have a medical degree and I've never practiced real medicine - until now. - [exhales] - You're worried. - Yeah. I get it. It's reckless and it's dangerous. I know, but, Ben, I saved somebody's life today. I got to be a real doctor. We're trying to start a family. I know. You want me to stop? No. If this is what you need to do. You're facing down your biggest fear and telling it to go to hell. I think it's brave. - I'll take precaution. - Yeah, you'll need a tracker - and maybe a bodyguard. - Oh, my God, easy there. The mother of my children has gotta be safe. [grunts] I almost forgot. What? [soft music] Oh, my God. Ben, this is beautiful. ♪ You know you are so getting laid again. - That was the hope. - [giggles] [cheers and applause] [grunts] [grunting] [breathing heavily] [cheers and applause, blows landing] Come on, get up! Come on! Knock him out! Knock him out! Ah, come on, man! [coughs] Go to sleep, asshole. [choking] [dramatic music] ♪ Gavros. ♪ ♪ He's dead. He's fucking dead, you son of a bitch. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a code black. [crowd roars] [crowd chanting] Theo! Theo! Theo! ♪ [chanting continues] How did Ben do? He passed. Well, that's a relief for both of us, I'm sure. Keep me posted on progress. There is something. [soft dramatic music] David Gates is gunning for you. ♪ Time to extract Dr. Sanjay Maraj. Let's initiate Operation Persephone. If we secure his work, I can ask the board for anything. Including the head of David Gates. [keyboard keys clacking] We really need to stop meeting like this, Reed. I knew you'd try to retrieve the files I have on you, I'd do the same, but it's not gonna work, and by trying to hack me, all you've done is speed up the clock. Whatever time you had, my program just cut it in half. Bring me back. Or you know what happens. ♪ Fuck you. [keyboard keys clacking] [clatter] - Resume. - [power thrums] ♪ Continue sound rendering. [computer beeping] Add smog patterns. ♪ Isolate all wind data, isolate sound data, and map out all points of impact. ♪ Triangulate along the X-axis for depth. [suspenseful music] [phone chimes] - Status update. - Almost there. Triangulate along the Y-axis and Z-axis. Length and width. ♪ What do you see? ♪ Larson, what do you see? I'm Louie's father, and I want him back. The birth parent almost always wins guardianship. I want to meet my son. You have every right to meet your son, but this visit is as far as it goes. - He's over an hour late. - Wouldn't be the first time I saw someone back out. We have a leukemia patient who's having trouble finding a genetic match. Where do I sign? Kelly's your donor. My God. We had to take Anna off chemo. That's it? You just let her die? I'm sorry, Kelly. You spent a couple days in jail, and now you're changing your own oil? Just keeping busy. How's your head? It's fine. I heard you stopped by Med the other day to see Anna. She wouldn't see me. No. It was us that wouldn't let you see her. At the time, you represented hope for her, Kelly. Did something happen? No, no, not that. But yes, something did. Her neutrophil count came up overnight, and we started her back on chemo this morning. We want to take another shot at the bone marrow transplant. I mean, assuming we still have a donor. Not even a question. Yeah, in 24 hours, we think she'll be strong enough to do it. That's... that's great news. Truck 81, Engine 51. All right, buddy. You go be a hero. I'm gonna schedule your donation for tomorrow. - All right. - 7110 South St. Lawrence. Help! Please! Maggie's trapped upstairs! - Where? - Up there! - Severide, Squad! - On it! - Anybody else up there? - No. Casey, vent the roof. I always know who you are. It's just sometimes I don't recognize you. Take the pills. You leave me alone with that fucking albino. He doesn't listen to me. I know a damn speciation when I see one. A what? a young one. There are forces trying to kill them. Forces? They want help. forces. It's too bad you're not in that business anymore. they want you. that's how fucking stupid they are. They're waiting for you at the Statue of Liberty. a long time. There are no new mutants. Understand? Hasn't been a new one born in 25 years. Not anywhere. You always thought we were part of God's plan. But maybe... Maybe we were God's mistake. What a disappointment you are. When I found you you were pursuing a career as a cage fighter. A warm capper to a life as an assassin. Hooked on barbiturates. You were an animal. But we took you in. I gave you a family. And they're gone now. Logan. What did you do? What did you do? Answer me! Why are we here? No one should live like this. Drugged in a fucking tank! It's for your own good. it's not! You're waiting for me to die. I don't wanna fight but there's things we need to discuss. What things? would it be considered nagging if I was to repeat my previous observation that the dose is too low to suppress the seizures? It's what the guy gave me. Wasn't in a position to make demands. I almost died this morning. That seizure was... It was barely a minute. It felt a lot longer than a minute. I couldn't breathe. You're less affected. You know he needs a higher dose. And I know you got more money squirreled away. That money's to get us out of here. not us. You and him. You're saving to buy a Sunseeker. Sun" is the keyword. I hardly see myself cowering below decks like Nosferatu. Do you? and making him spotted dick. Found this in your pocket. Adamantium. If you are planning to blow your brains out... ..could you wait till you're out on the high seas? I just mopped these floors. I don't need this shit. you asked me to help you. And God knows I've tried. not really if you're not going to talk to me. I hear you at night. You're not sleeping. You don't wanna talk about that. Or the booze you're drinking. Or the pus you're wiping away from your knuckles. Or the blood I wash from your clothes. Or the fresh wounds in your chest. The ones that aren't healing. And I'm pretty sure you don't wanna talk about the fact that you can't read the label on that bottle. Ibuprofen. That was my favorite mug. Stay out of my shit. Logan. On the inside you're sick. I can smell it. {\i1\cH00ffff}Best night ever! driver. I love you. I love you. You're such a doll. Mr. Logan. Jesus. Please. We need a ride. Not available. Call a cab. My name is Gabriela Lopez. lady. There are men after us. We need to get out of here. cross to Canada. Anyone can do that job. 000. huh? lady! they're on my ass now! Sightings were posted. go inside. What sightings? People said someone who looked like the Wolverine... driving. Said he looked old. Hey! I told you to stop it with that ball! please. please. Mamacita's" gonna have to pay for that. please. No. Shit! They're gonna have to pay for damages. And she has cash. I've seen it. You should get your fat ass back in your office. You'll get your money. please. They will find us... They will kill us. I am a nurse. Was. In Mexico City. When did that happen? This morning. Near the border. but now they know my car. I gotta go. wait. Please. Here. wait! Look. 000. Here. Take us to this address. 000 more when we get there. My friends there will give it to you. They will be waiting. They will give you anything. Where did you get this? My boyfriend. He wants to kill me and take her. And that's your daughter? Yes. I know you're still good inside. I know you want to help us. You don't know anything about me. Please! there will be no problems if we leave now. I can't just leave to North Dakota! - We have to be there Friday. - Or what? Or we miss our chance to cross. Please. You have to. Please. Please. - I like those. - Huh? They make you look younger. listen. okay? I got a long ride for some good money... we're gonna get outta here. We're gonna drive down to Yelapa. We're gonna get ourselves a boat. And we're gonna go live on the ocean. Will you be safe there? Yeah. We'll be safe. Charles. Be back in a few days. Shit. - Logan. - Yeah? What happened? Did something go wrong? The job was wrong to begin with. Logan! Logan! What? Who does this belong to? Who's that? Thought you were supposed to see shit coming. I can track mutants. not a clairvoyant. Go inside and keep Charles quiet. Go inside now! asshole. This is private property. it is. I believe it belongs to a multinational smelting company based in Shanghai. Where are you keeping the old man? Hmm? Is he over there? Or is he there? That'd be smart. I'd like to meet him. I'm told the HSA classifies his brain as a weapon of mass destruction now. what happened back east. He's been dead for a year. I need the girl. What girl? The one that goes along with that ball you're holding. There's no girl here. I know you went to the motel. I was called there. There was no girl. It was just the woman. Just the woman. Such as she was. you saw Gabriela. But you didn't call me. That hurts. did you? did you? I asked you first. I don't like guns. Of course. Logan. Like I asked. See? You're not the only one that's been enhanced. Logan. Logan! This is Laura. come! This is who I've been telling you about. This is Laura. We've been waiting for you. come here. It's okay. Come. Laura. It's okay. It's okay. Come. Come. Laura. It's safe. We can look after you here. Come on. maybe? Worse. Is he by himself? not for long. take him out to the wash and dump him. What if he wakes up before I get there? Text me where you are. We'll pick you up. Yes. Logan. - Logan. - Hey. Hey! You'll get it back after I figure out what you and your mother have got us into. Logan. - What? I think the... that's not her mother. - So she talks? - We're communicating. Communicating. Take these now. We have to get out of here. It's not safe here anymore. you understand? but this is the mutant that I told you about. She needs our help. She's not a mutant. she is! Charles? Eating? Pipe throwing? It's okay. yeah. Take the gun. Dump the body. Text me when you're on the way back. You have anything else you need? Food for the kid? mutie. It's okay. Choo-choo. It's not a choo-choo. It's okay. Sit down. - We gotta go. - What? - What's going on? Where? - Stay here. - Don't move. - Where are we going? don't worry. He will be back for you. the girl. You've got to go back for the girl. what about the girl? Logan. we mustn't forget about Laura. She's not our problem. Shit! shit! Logan. I'm thinking. The child. we mustn't forget Laura. - Please be quiet. - Logan. Huh. Charles Xavier. Where's Caliban? America's most wanted octogenarian. actually. Ah. Where's Caliban? Why don't you tell me where the girl is first? Or I could ask Cue Ball. He seems quite friendly. she's not here. motherfucker? I left him in the same ditch... he was gonna leave me in. seeing you like this just breaks my damn heart. fuck-stick. Go get her. Laura. That a girl! baby. Laura... Laura! you wanna stay where you are. right? stop. You said alive or dead. Laura! Laura. Laura. No. No. Move! Go! Move! Go! Stop shooting! She heals! Move! Go! Holy shit! Gotcha! Ah! hold her down. she's a mutant like you. Hold on! Very much like you. are you all right? Ahh! Move! Hold on! Fuck! Come on! Come on! Shit. Fall in! Let's go! watch out! Ah! Sit back. Bring me the tracker. You. Who the hell are you? Hey! I asked you a question. Who are you? Logan. I don't. Does she remind you of anybody? I read about you when I was a kid. I believe you're thinking of someone else. Hmm. you used to work for my team. You were helping round up all those old mutes. What changed? You got religion? I'm gonna need you to do one more thing for the good guys and track one more special mute for me. I'm not helping you. you'd say that. But I got a theory that people don't really change. Beware of the light. I bet that's what your mama told you every day when you was a kid. Beware of the light. let's not bring out the worst in each other. trust me. She's not a natural fuck-up like you. a RD gone bad. There's liability. They can't have things with patents... can they? We need to get her off the board before she hurts anybody else. maybe. get to sniffing. {\i1\cH80ffff}My name is Gabriela Lopez. {\i1\cH80ffff}I am a nurse. I worked for... {\i1\cH80ffff}Transigen Research in Mexico City. {\i1\cH80ffff}Transigen is owned by an American company. {\i1\cH80ffff}What I am about to show you is illegal... {\i1\cH80ffff}...in the U.S. and Canada. {\i1\cH80ffff}They told us we were part of a pharmaceutical study. that was a lie. {\i1\cH80ffff}These children were born in Transigen. {\i1\cH80ffff}They were born here... {\i1\cH80ffff}...and have never left. {\i1\cH80ffff}They have never seen the sun or the ocean... {\i1\cH80ffff}...rain or snow... {\i1\cH80ffff}...or any of God's creatures. {\i1\cH80ffff}They have no birth certificates... {\i1\cH80ffff}...no names... {\i1\cH80ffff}...besides the ones we have given them. {\i1\cH80ffff}They were raised in the bellies of Mexican girls. {\i1\cH80ffff}Girls no one can find anymore. {\i1\cH80ffff}Their fathers are semillas geneticas... {\i1\cH80ffff}...special seeds in bottles. {\i1\cH80ffff} - Birthday? No birth. - Maria. {\i1\cH80ffff}We do not dress them up for Halloween. {\i1\cH80ffff}We do not call them "baby" or kiss boo-boos. {\i1\cH80ffff}Don't think of them as children. {\i1\cH80ffff}Think of them as things... {\i1\cH80ffff}...with patents and copyrights. {\i1\cH80ffff}Comprende? senor. {\i1\cH80ffff}They thought we were too poor... {\i1\cH80ffff}...and stupid to understand. yes... {\i1\cH80ffff}...but we are not stupid. {\i1\cH80ffff}Use your powers. {\i1\cH80ffff}This is business. {\i1\cH80ffff}They are making soldiers. {\i1\cH80ffff}Killers. {\i1\cH80ffff}These are babies of mutantes... North Dakota. Mmm. You took that woman's money. You said you would take the child there. What is she? Logan. Alkali has your genetic code. Not just mine. Logan... I don't want to talk about it. I don't wanna hear about it anymore. Logan... Just stop. I have to pee. Last ride. You're welcome. I can do this myself! you're not doing it. Just get on with it. Not with you standing there. I'm not lookin'. Hello. there! right? huh? Come on. too. Shit! Not okay! Sorry. do you sell phone chargers? Uh... Come on. Get in the car. {\i1\cH80ffff}As the children became older... {\i1\cH80ffff}Laura. Laura. {\i1\cH80ffff}...they became more difficult. {\i1\cH80ffff}They could not be controlled. {\i1\cH80ffff}The company made their bodies into weapons. {\i1\cH80ffff}Tried to teach them to kill. {\i1\cH80ffff}But they did not want to fight. {\i1\cH80ffff}A soldier who will not fight is useless. {\i1\cH80ffff}Inside this building... {\i1\cH80ffff}...they are working on something new. {\i1\cH80ffff}Something they think is better than the children. {\i1\cH80ffff}Something they say is without a soul. Dr. Rice? {\i1\cH80ffff}You can't get good sushi here. Colorado. {\i1\cH80ffff}They must have been successful. they told us to shut our program down. {\i1\cH80ffff}They started putting the children to sleep. {\i1\cH80ffff}We are going to save as many children as we can. up north. {\i1\cH80ffff}A place for mutants. {\i1\cH80ffff}They call it Eden. {\i1\cH80ffff}If you are watching this... {\i1\cH80ffff}...it means that I am dead. {\i1\cH80ffff}I am not sure if any other children survived. {\i1\cH80ffff}We were separated. {\i1\cH80ffff}There is no more money. {\i1\cH80ffff}That was a lie. {\i1\cH80ffff}She's not my child. {\i1\cH80ffff}But I love her. {\i1\cH80ffff}You may not love her. {\i1\cH80ffff}But she is your child. {\i1\cH80ffff}Please. I beg you... {\i1\cH80ffff}take her to safety. Is this where we're hiding out? We're not hiding out. We're gonna get a couple of hours' sleep... get a new ride and get outta here. {\i1\cH80ffff}Harrah's Hotel and Casino {\i1\cH80ffff}welcomes you to Oklahoma City. {\i1\cH80ffff}Please keep right for valet parking. Hey. {\i1\cH80ffff}The fun never stops at Harrah's Hotel and Casino. all right? let's go. Laura. Let's go. We need clothes. {\i1\cH80ffff}Going up. stop. Not a toy. chair. What? Okay. Push up again. Thank you. {\i1\cH80ffff}Going up. Come here. Stand there. Just stand there. it's yours. What? I'm not gonna wear it now. In the room. We'll get changed in the room. lying Yankee. {\i1\cH80ffff}Prove it. Laura. It's almost 100 years old. Lord {\i1\cH80ffff}Abide with me I first saw this picture at the Essoldo Cinema in my hometown when I was your age. {\i1\cH80ffff}...who art in heaven Hallowed be thy name thy will be done Shit. {\i1\cH80ffff}Yankee liar. {\i1\cH80ffff}Prove it. You read these in your spare time? we got ourselves an "X-Men" fan. right? and not like this. people die. And no self-promoting asshole in a fucking leotard can stop it. - This is ice cream for bed-wetters. - Logan... Her nurse has been feeding her some grade-A bullshit. I don't think Laura needs reminding of life's impermanence. Didn't you say something about finding us a new ride? Two more pills in one hour. Give 'em to him. Shane? Joey. {\i1\cH80ffff}Can't break the mold. {\i1\cH80ffff}I tried it and it didn't work for me. there's no living with a killing. {\i1\cH80ffff}There's no going back from one. it's a brand. {\i1\cH80ffff}A brand sticks. {\i1\cH80ffff}and tell her everything's all right. {\i1\cH80ffff}And there aren't any more guns in the valley. Who are you guys? More cops? 'Cause I told the other guys everything that I... tracker. You did your job. Fellas. Shit. Knock yourselves out. I'll tell you what. Eight grand... new tires... and complete paperwork. if you can forget the paperwork. they're bald. How long will that take? An hour. Jesus. You gotta be fucking kidding me. are the keys in... Sir! You have the keys in it? Sir! Shit! Charles. Charles! Argh! {\i1\cH80ffff}Going up. shit! You all right? We gotta get outta here. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. {\i1\cH80ffff}Emergency personnel are still on scene... {\i1\cH80ffff}...at Harrah's Casino Hotel in Oklahoma City... {\i1\cH80ffff}...where at least 400 guests were stricken... {\i1\cH80ffff}...with temporary paralysis yesterday. {\i1\cH80ffff}Many are noting a similarity... {\i1\cH80ffff}...to the Westchester incident over a year ago... {\i1\cH80ffff}...that left over 600 injured... {\i1\cH80ffff}...including several of the X-Men. Knock it off. knock it off! Logan. she's your... How long has it been since you took your meds? how long has it been? I don't know! Two days. You saw what happened yesterday. everyone in that casino... I did what I had to do to save Laura. You didn't do anything. You just freaked out and had a fucking seizure! rambling on like a lunatic. So much easier for you. Easier? Jesus! nothing! please be like the rest of the world blaming someone else for your boring shit. I'm such a giant disappointment. You honestly derive no sense of purpose from what we're doing? what are we doing? Hmm? There is a young mutant sitting in our car. I see that. there are others. Does that mean nothing to you? means nothing to me. Especially since Nurse Gabriela made all that Eden shit up with fucking comic books. What are you talking about? will you? Take out two pills and give them to him. - Logan! Logan! - Give 'em to him. Now! I wanna see it. Dr. Rice. It's under control... Motherfucking auto-trucks. Logan. And you're screaming at a machine. huh? She can learn to be better. better than me? yes. Laura's foot claws... you know. Is that a fact? the female is both hunter and caregiver. Good to know. She uses her front claws for hunting and the back claws defensively. yeah? ensuring their survival. hey! We should help them. we have to keep going. Someone will come along. Someone has come along. {\i1\cH80ffff}Alert. Alert. whoa. you need a hand? Ready? Go! got it. let's get home. - Laura! Thank you so much for your help. - I'm Kathryn. - James. Nate. - Hi. - Hey. That's your daughter? and that's my dad Chuck. let's go. can we show our appreciation and treat the three of you to a decent meal? We don't live far from here. thanks. - That would be lovely! My name is Dr. Rice. But you can call me Zander if you like. My colleague tells me you've been somewhat resistant. He believes you've been dispensing delayed information to allow your friends to stay one step ahead. I'm offering you the possibility... Caliban. save your friends. The girl is a rather small price to pay for that. she's impure. She wasn't made by nature. She's a mistake of my own. I did what I could and they burned me and beat me. Your colleagues are savages. I agree. The Reavers were very ineffective. But I'm bringing new tools to bear. But I still need someone to point us in the right direction. I can't help you. breathe. what does he have? The old man. Alzheimer's? ALS? A degenerative brain disease in the world's most dangerous brain? What a combo. you know we got company. {\i1\cH80ffff}That's wonderful. have a seat. sit up. why don't you sit at the end of the table? baby. for this food... the Howletts. Mmm. They came to our aid. - Amen. - Amen. Charles. sir. Mmm-hmm. there's plenty more if she wants. She's fine. Thank you. This is delicious. thank you. - It's so good. Where are you all headed? - Uh... Oregon. - South Dakota. Um... Oregon and then South Dakota. Vacation? Uh... Yes. long overdue. We're city folk. see the country. Um... And meet the people in it. That sounds lovely. Been trying to get Will here to take a vacation for years now. who's gonna take care of this place? let it go. And live off what? The Lord will provide. I'm still waiting for the Lord to provide me with a new thresher. I'd love to travel someday. And I bet you will. I could drop out of school. let's not go that far. I'll do it. - No. No. - Why not? I wanna travel. Son. Son. right? This is the perfect plan. Nate? you're speaking to a man who ran a school... Charles? it was a... It was a special needs school. Um... Uh-huh. That's a good description. too. no. Um... I got kicked out a few times. but the words would choke me. I can't thank you enough for this. it was great. so... don't you? we'll find a motel somewhere. The nearest one is two hours from here and it's not even that nice. We have a perfectly fine room upstairs for your father and your daughter and... you can sleep in the living room on the convertible. but we really should go. We can leave early in the morning. as it were. Pop? Okay. Sit. you want some dessert? and hardly any sleep. I'm fucking 90. that's 101 reasons to keep moving. Logan. then what? Then we take her to her friends in Eden. And then we buy the Sunseeker. Take the pills. shit! - What's going on? - Nate! Go fill up the tub before we lose pressure. check the sink. They shut it off again. They are just not going to let this thing go. you might as well handle it now. It can wait till the morning. We just had rain last night. We got three houseguests and a sink full of dishes. all right. The pump station that supplies us is a mile and a half from here. Sometimes it gets itself shut off. - By assholes. - Hey! No. My son is happy to go with you. that's fine. sometimes they can be... you got homework. I'll go. let me get my dad settled. All right. I don't care what the lawyer says. But it's dangerous. I'm not gonna hurt our chances. Want TV? There's TV here. I'm fine. Okay. Get some rest. Logan this is what life looks like. people who love each other. Safe place. You should take a moment and feel it. Yeah. It's great. Logan. Logan! You still have time. the world is not the same as it was. you know that. Eden it doesn't exist. Her nurse got it from a comic book. You understand? It's not real. It is for Laura. It is for Laura. Get some rest. except for us. they tried eminent domain then screwing with our water. somebody poisoned our dogs. those trucks... Who knows. Maybe. look at 'em. Look like dinosaurs with their 20-ton bodies and tiny little brains shucking their cloned-up super corn. too. Why do people eat it? They don't. They drink it. Corn syrup. It's in those drinks that everyone's having... whatever. Used to be a time when a bad day was just a bad day. Mine still are. Those are for breakaway roping. Those are for barrel racing and right here is for pole bending. third place. but my dad makes me. Do you want to listen? Do you like it? you can take it for tonight and I'll get it back from you in the morning. Looks like we're gonna be here a while. Should hold it. Yeah. Till next time. Thanks. how long has your girl been like that? Huh? Mute. since the beginning. Mmm. I envy you. with the nonsense that comes out of their mouths... Makes you wonder the whole point of it all. Shit. Don't worry. We won't need it. Stay here. Mr. Munson. What brings y'all this way? Why don't you ask your boys? right? I have an easement with the previous owner of your property. Huh. Bullshit. Previous" being the operative word. Who's this? Just a guy telling you to get back in your nice truck. Go play Okie dickhead somewhere else. Carl it looks like Mr. Munson hired some muscle. Looks that way. He's a friend of mine. A friend with a big mouth. I hear that a lot. too. More than I'd like. Then you know the drill. I'mma count to three and you're gonna start walking away. I got rights to this water. One. I have a lawyer now. Two. - Three. - Ah. Ah. boss? - You know the drill. - Pick up my goddamn hat. Get the hell out of here. boss? - Fuck off. Go! You've had training. Some. don't wake her yet. Let her sleep another hour. Logan... without a doubt the most perfect night I've had in a very long time. But I don't deserve it. Do I? I did something. Something unspeakable. I've remembered what happened in Westchester. This is not the first time I've hurt people. I didn't know. You wouldn't tell me. So we just kept on running away from it. I think I finally understand you. Logan... He's fantastic. You said you only needed the girl! I told you I was forced to bring a new tool to bear. Your friends had every chance. And so did you. Nate? Put her down. Honey. Will! Stop! Kathryn! Kathryn! Kathryn! Charles! Charles! Hold this. It wasn't me. It wasn't me. Here he comes. meet him halfway. no. Let them come to us. We struggled with the X-23s. because they were children we could raise them without a conscience. But you can't nurture rage. You must simply design it... from scratch. Who the fuck is that? Will Munson! Charles. come out here! Munson! Come out here now! Munson. There's that asshole. asshole. I'm willing to let bygones be bygones. I don't know what Munson's paying you but Canewood can start you out at five G. that is. pal. I'm the law out here. no. What in high... shit! Shoot him! We need to intervene. Doctor. 24! Get back here! Stop! Stop now! tight! - Our boat. - What? The Sunseeker. No. Come! 24! Need some help out here! I guess we're gonna have to take care of this now. - Pierce! - Give me that. Get your lily-faced ass out here! Listen to me! What the fuck do you think you're doing? we gotta go around that truck and flank them farmers. Follow my lead. take these clips. Come! Now! Pick her up. Beware the light. What the hell are you? Sit down. Hold still. Hold still. Get him on the truck. Yeah. Go. it's all right. 24. You're healing. Just breathe. by any measure. Oh, I used to do this as an extension of my hobby. I wrote stories that I thought were fun to read, and it felt good to have everyone else read and enjoy them. But now... I need money. It's a commonplace reason. Isn't that okay, though? That's an ordinary reason for someone who writes for a living. If it leads to your motivation, I don't care what it is. Oh, there's one more thing that will motivate you, Sensei. The "Silverwolf" series that ended the other day is the title that I'm known for right now. Autograph session - Author, Masamune Izumi The "Silverwolf" series that ended the other day is the title that I'm known for right now. And I don't think I'll continue the story. Autograph session - Author, Masamune Izumi But! Sagiri! The guys I thought I'd never meet again were all waving at me. Congrats "Silverwolf of Reincarnation" completion Art: Eromanga The guys I thought I'd never meet again were all waving at me. Congrats "Silverwolf of Reincarnation" completion Art: Eromanga And they all looked like they were saying, "See ya! Let's keep our spirits up!" Congrats "Silverwolf of Reincarnation" completion Art: Eromanga That made me happy, so... Sagiri! Eromanga-sensei! Listen to me! I am Masamune Izumi, the author of "Silverwolf of Reincarnation"! Really? Big Brother, you're Masamune Izumi? The author of "Silverwolf of Reincarnation"? Y-Yeah, that's right. And you're Eromanga-sensei, right? I don't know anyone by that name. I-Is that bad? Of course it's not bad. I finally met you! Come in. Didn't you hear me? I said, "Come in." It's okay? I-I said it's okay. I-I see. All right. - It's pretty tidy in here. - Yeah. Good girl. ...Don't. "Don't treat me like a child?" Don't touch me. Sit there. "Touch me there"? Sit! There! Sure! - So, why... - Huh? Ouch! Wh-Wh-What? I only got closer because you were speaking softly! Ahh... Is this okay? Y-Yeah. That will do. How did you figure it out? You mean, "How did you realize that I was the person behind Eromanga-sensei"? Yup. If not, I won't ever let you in. When you were streaming, the meal I made for you was in the background. You forgot to turn the camera off, and you started taking your clothes off... Th-That's enough. I get it now. So after all, Big Brother, you were "Masamune Izumi-sensei". "After all"? You had noticed? I was just thinking you had the same name. For it to actually be the same person... What kind of probability is that? To think that I've been living under the same roof as Eromanga-sensei. I can't believe it. And I don't know anyone by that name. Um, this is so sudden, and I don't know what to do. For starters, I'm sorry I made you draw all those lewd pictures! I-Idiot! Don't suddenly shout so loudly, idiot! Y-You're the idiot! Lewd pervert! Even the other day... Your illustrations are really erotic. You can't just say that to a girl, s-so suddenly! Do you have to get that angry? I was talking about how I was requesting lewd illustrations from my little sister! L-Lewd illustrations are my job, and I like it, so it's okay! But you can't talk about stuff like that! Why? Th-That's... Big Brother, you idiot! Dunce! Light-novel protagonist! Fine. I won't say it again. It's fine if you understand. I-In the first place, Big Brother, you're all sorts of no good. All sorts? F-For instance... That's right! You stay at home too much on days off! Writing is my side job, so of course I'd be home working! Even during summer vacation? Right. Back then, everything I wrote was getting turned down, so I pulled a lot of all-nighters. So I forgot to make you meals. The despair I felt when meals didn't arrive even after thumping the floor do you know how that feels, Big Brother? Come out of your room and eat. I think I've lost if I leave my room! Even if you say it like a famous quote, it's not cool. By the way, I noticed you blog and stream stuff. I-Is that bad? It's not bad. But it was slightly unexpected. You weren't the person I knew, and you were really lively. What's wrong? It's fun. Drawing art, and chatting with everyone while streaming. I want to hear more stuff like that. I hardly know anything about you. The reason why I started drawing illustrations was because Mom taught me. I was naturally doing nothing but drawing since I was little... And I was a professional before I knew it. Mom complimented me, saying it was amazing. After Mom was gone, I couldn't draw at all. And I couldn't leave my room. But one day, I saw someone streaming. That person was happily drawing while chatting with everyone. I was jealous. I wanted to be like that, and tried it out. I see. It was really fun. After seeing the illustrations, they give me their opinions, like "so cute", "so amazing". They ask me to draw more. I'm still in my room, but I can play and chat with people all over the world like we're friends. That, really, really makes my heart race. I see. It's the same for me. The reason I became an author was because the people posting their novels on the internet seemed to have fun. There was a time when I wrote novels on the web, too. That was a great story! I drew a picture of the Hero Masamune! And, I got my first fan mail ever. That made me so happy. I was really, really happy. That's why I'm here right now. The Adventures of Hero Masamune Congrats on the Completion! I wonder if that person still reads my novels today. The Adventures of Hero Masamune Congrats on the Completion! I see, so Izumi-sensei, you too... "Sensei"? Oh, n-nothing! I knew you wrote novels on the web! I-I see. But to think I'd see the day where I could talk to you like this. Big Brother, why are you bothering me? You should just leave me alone. I'm just... Do I trouble you? T-Trouble... It's because you're my little sister. And Mom asked me to take good care of you. Is that your reason? I still don't know what counts as taking good care of you. So I just do things that I feel would count as such. I don't get it at all. Other than that, I'm just lonely, after all. I'd like to eat meals together with my cute little sister. And I want to take care of her, too. Even a troublesome little sister like this, who hardly ever talks to you? So you were aware of that. I want us to get along. Because we're family. Are we a family? Of course. We live together like this. I see. I don't see it that way. You don't call people merely living together a family. I don't want to talk anymore. Get out, Big Brother. Sure thing. Sagiri. What? This illustration made me really happy. Let's do our best together next time, too! How stupid. That was something I only drew out of a sense of obligation. Yes? I'm Megumi Jinno! Is Sagiri-chan here? Next Episode: Class Rep with a Normie Life, and a Fearless Fairy Listen, if you're having any second thoughts, you want to call this off, now is the time. I don't want to call it off. So no "We're going anywhere" last looks. No tears, no "I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow." Nothing that anybody can look back on. Look, I know how to play my part. After you force me to open up the safe, you can't go straight for the cash box. You got to grab some of the other shit, too. Yeah? Like what? Anything. It can't look like you got tipped off what to take. Take the cash box last. That'll be my signal to go for the shotgun. I'll try not to fire. You know how adrenaline can be. Yeah, well, you won't get a shot off, but thanks for the concern. You just worry about making it all look good for the camera and making sure you're alone. I'll be alone. Katie: What I told you about Amanda's mother is true. Her name was Alice. She was my friend. What I did not tell you was she was a grifter. After she died, Amanda moved in with Marius and me. A few months later, Marius... found another partner and took off. He'd say it was because I lost focus, but... I think it was because of the way he grew up. He didn't like the idea of a kid-around life. Anyway, I got off the grift. I met you. And I never saw him again. I swear to God I never saw him again until he showed up here a few days ago. You could be conning me right now. No, no. No. Don't touch me. Don't... But... I swear to you that this... is real. Okay? You are what... is important to me. Listen, Pedro, I love you. You know what's real right now, honey? What? What's real is the cop we have tied up in the basement. When Marius calls, we can let him go. The cop does not care about us. - I swear to God... - How do you know that? It seems to me... we let him go. Best case... prison, my business destroyed, and Family Services takes Amanda. - No. - I won't let that happen. [phone buzzes] [buzzing] [door closes, lock latches] - Hey. - Hey, Pete. I'm just going out. Where to? I was gonna go, uh, go see my friend... - you know, the married one. - Yeah. Yeah, I thought... I thought maybe... you were going out to slash another one of my tires. Huh? The liquor store across the street... they have a security camera. I saw you. Why? - [gulp] - Fucking why, huh? Why? Don't you fucking say that it was about this trunk thing because I already apologized to you for that, okay? [breathing heavily] Porta-Potty. What? What? Fucking what? When I was leaving the bar that night, all I could think about... was the time you tipped over the Porta-Potty while I was in it. W... Okay. Fuck me. I was an asshole to you when we were kids. But we're not fucking kids anymore, Pete. I could lose my fucking career over this. - Yes, you are. - What? - Still a kid. - What are you... What? I might have slashed your tire. That's shitty, but it's what I did. What I didn't do was make you beat the piss out of that kid. Who are you? [door opens] What the hell is wrong with you two? Nothing. It was all a misunderstanding. You're family, for Christ's sakes. There's nothing in the world more important than that. - [line ringing] - Fucking animal. Eddie: Marius? Eddie? Wait a minute. How'd you get a phone? I told Karolina if I didn't talk to you that I was out. Eddie, this is... this is really dangerous. He's fucking killing me, man. Look... I know you're scared, but I'm going to have the cash tomorrow, all right? I'm going over to this crooked lawyer. He's got the hundred thousand. Look, I'm not calling for a pep talk, all right? I am literally over it. I just want to let you know I'm not letting them cut any more pieces off me, man. What's that mean? It means next time I'm fighting back. I'm pretty sure I can get a knife from under the bar. Eddie, don't be stupid. They'll kill you. You understand me? Yeah. Well, they're gonna have to. Listen, you better stick to the fucking plan. Otherwise, we're all dead. I'm sticking to the plan. I'm sticking to the fucking plan. I just want to let you know that if for any reason you don't beat the clock... I'm... I'm gonna beat the clock. I'm telling you. That's what I'm saying. What if you don't? Just go. Just go, man. They're going to kill me one day anyway, Marius. Fuck it. It might as well be tomorrow. Eddie, don't... Can you... I got to go. [click, dial tone] Fuck. Fuck. [spit] [flush] You were in there a while, Eddie. I was just... I don't know how many times I got to tell you guys. If it's a big one, take it upstairs. Christ, did you even spray? - No. There was... - Look at you. You look like shit. - Yeah. - What's going on? - I feel... - What is it, first night back jitters or something? - Maybe. Maybe. - All right. Well, just relax, okay? This is probably inevitable. Look, I'm gonna put Tate on the big table. You can deal razz to those English pricks. - No. No. - I'm gonna ease you back in. Yeah, that's what we're going to do. - You sure? - I need your head right before dealing to Mukherjee. Tomorrow night, all right? - All right, yeah. - You feel okay? Yeah. I... I'm depending on you. All right. All right, come on, the rest of you, let's go. We got folks coming in a few minutes. ♪♪ [drum beat] ♪ It's getting hot around here ♪ ♪ I keep tryin' to just make my way ♪ ♪ It's no lyin' ♪ ♪ I'm only tryin' ♪ ♪ Just trust in me ♪ ♪ Trust in me ♪ ♪ Just trust in me ♪ ♪ Trust in me ♪ ♪ Just trust in me ♪ [grunt] [chatter] [chatter] ... Expressing... you're praising the Lord today. - It's so pretty. - I got to go. That's convenient. - What? - Where? Uh, town. I'm meeting some friends. How are you getting there? Well, I was hoping to get a ride from either Grandpa or Taylor, but obviously that's a no-go. Since when do they pass up Sunday brunch? Your grandfather's at the office, and Taylor's busy. Too busy to save his immortal soul? Funny. But not the part where you burn in hell. I liked the sermon this morning. Oh, nice pandering. I'm serious. Okay, okay, first off, it was a homily. Sermons are for Protestants. Filthy heathens. We're glad you came. I was glad to be included. While you're here, would you mind looking at some paperwork for me? No such thing as a free brunch. We have to pick up the kids from my folks. On it. Stay with Audrey. Earn some Brownie points. Can I get a ride? I mean, I can always hitch. Maybe get picked up by some harmless-looking guy in a panel van. Go get ready. Wheels up in five minutes. - Thank you. - I'll be at the car. Meaning you'll be having a cigarette. I'll be having a cigarette. Ohh now. You smoke? Only crack. Hey, I got to talk to you about something. But it's not good. There you are. I had a dream about you. Yeah? Hope a good one. There was some kind of... disaster... nuclear, maybe, I don't know. [muttering] Seemed like the whole world was burned. And I was looking for you. I couldn't find you, and I was... I was calling your name. So not a good one. You've been working too hard. So why don't we stay in bed all day? Order some food in. Watch movies. What? What is it? It's Sunday. Yeah. I know what day it is. Yeah, it's Marius' deadline. Yeah. I know that, too. If you ruin Eddie's hands, you'll never get a chance to expose Mukherjee. So you want me to give Eddie a pass. Yeah. Hey, tell me something. Yeah. I need to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me. Of course. Do you still care about Marius? No. Marius ran. Leaving you with me. Maybe I should thank him. You know? Well? Well, what? Well, isn't there any part of you that has a bad feeling about this? You thought Lance was cheating on you with some lady named Victoria. I jumped to the wrong conclusion. Victoria's a character he created - to scam Grandma. - Do you have any idea how fucking preposterous that sounds? That doesn't make it untrue. Carly, move it! Lance claims to have lost more money than Audrey on that deal, yet he's buying a boat. Where is he getting the money from? For fuck's sake, let's ask him. Ask a question, you get an answer. That doesn't necessarily get you the truth. I can get you the truth. I just need a day. - That's it? - That's it. And one more thing. [door opens] Can I help you? Ex... Ex-ex-ex... Excuse me. Excuse me, sir. This is private property. You can't just sit here. Hello. [dialing] Yeah. Chayton. Chayton. This is Otto Bernhardt. Listen... Well, there's a fellow here in my office, and he refuses to leave. In fact, he refuses to even talk. I suspect that he's here on your behalf. Actually, he's there for you, to help you make sure nothing happens to my money. Yeah, but that's... that's... that's really not necessary. I'll see you in the morning after my case is dropped, when I come to get what's mine. Whew. That's better. Good to get out of those church clothes. I tried cleaning this up, but he about bit my head off. That's what marriage is, mostly... putting up with each other's shit. [doorbell rings] You expecting anyone? I am. - [knocking] - [door opens] - I'm sorry to interrupt... - Hi. ... but, uh, this gentleman says he's here to see you. Ah. Dr. Barrett. You met my grandson? Just now. Yeah, if you need me, - I'll be in my room. - Thank you, Pete. And this is my attorney: Lance Lord. I believe these are yours. - Thank you. - Yeah. Hi. How are you? Thank you for doing this on a Sunday. - Have a seat. - Thank you. - Don't mind if I do. - Yeah. To be honest, I'm a little fuzzy on what this is we're doing. Uh, Dr. Barrett's made an offer on the farm. An offer to buy it. I've accepted. I just need you to review these terms. I represent supplies in the farm-to-table business. We buy non-working farms and get them working again. Okay. Um... Dr. Barrett, if you can give us a moment, I need to confer with my client. - Lance... - It's just a quick chat. If you don't mind. It's, uh, it's okay. Of course. Uh, take all the time you need. I'll be, uh, outside. Lance: Does Otto know about this? The deed's in my name. After the stroke, we transferred it all to me. Audrey, this sale's a mistake. The market's shit right now. It's better to ride it out. I need the money now. - Because of the investment. - Yes. I need everything I gave to Victoria, and I can't tell you why. Well, I'm your attorney. I'm exactly who you do tell. What if I loan you the money? - In cash? - Yeah. Now? [chuckle] How could you possibly... A while back, I put some money into a dance club in Hartford. A couple days ago, the other investors bought me out in cash. - [phone rings] - Uh... Bernhardt Bail Bonds. This is Audrey. Tell him it's Otto. You need privacy. Oh, Hi, hon. Uh, could you hold on a sec? Um, it's Otto. Would you mind stepping out a moment while I lie to my husband? Thank you, Lance. Porter said Lance pulled you into a sidebar. Is everything okay? Pete, it's over. We won. Wait. W-What does... What does that mean? Lance offered me the cash. Oh. Great. You bet your ass it's great. Our con was so good, we got paid in phase 1. Not bad for first timers. Uh, yeah. We're naturals. I mean, technically, Lance won, but... but the important thing is that you got the money back, so that's good. Hold on. Hold on. W... What do you mean, Lance won? It's called a Jesus con. We never talked about this? A guy lights your house on fire, and then he shows up in the nick of time to put it out, making himself your savior. A con man's not always after money. Julia will think he's the hero. She'll never believe my side. But the important thing is you got the money, so... What if I turn it down? Why would you turn it down? If I do... can we still con him? Grandma, let's just think about this for a second. - A bird in the hand is worth... - No. He doesn't get to win. Farm-to-table, huh? [phone rings] [ring] - Hey. - Julia: How's it going? Oh, it's okay. What's up? Your parents want to hang on to the kids a little longer. I told you, you have to beat them off with a stick. So I'm thinking an afternoon without the flesh anchors. Let's do a little day drinking. I could certainly use one. Everything okay? Oh, fine. How about that place down by the marina? Sunday's all day Happy Hour. I love it. Uh, I need to finish up here. Give me an hour? I may have to start without you. It's one of the reasons why I love you. Okay, I'll see you soon. Okay. Gentlemen. Sorry to keep you waiting. Dr. Barrett, I'm ready to sign the papers. You have been a terrible drinking buddy. Why? You've barely said two words since you got here. You're so quiet. I'm sorry. What was that, uh, legal stuff that Audrey wanted to talk to you about this morning? Nothing. Just estate planning. [laughing] Hey, listen, uh, there's no reason we should both be here waiting for the check. Why don't you go get the kids? And I'll see you back at the place. Sure. [ting] Cheers. Hey, guys. So what are we celebrating? You guys being perfect strangers this morning and now fast friends? How are you planning on robbing Audrey? - No, no... - No, no, no, no, Lance. You got it all wrong. There's a perfectly reasonable explanation. Okay, then, Cousin Pete, explain. Let's hear a perfectly reasonable explanation for how you came to be sitting here celebrating with the man who just bought your grandmother's farm for a price that would be insultingly low if the place were currently on fire. - Get you anything? - I'm good. Okay. Come on, fellas. You're caught. You can waste time trying to deny it, or we start to talk about what it's going to take to get me not to turn you in. Gentlemen. Two years ago... I was going through security at Sea-Tac, and, uh, all of a sudden... this is long story sounding... TSA goes ape shit. The, uh, airport cops are hauling ass towards us. It takes me a few seconds to realize that they're looking at me. One of the airport's radiation detectors thought I was carrying a dirty bomb. Were you? I was carrying this. I found it on the farm when I was a kid, right by the pond. I was out there, uh, skipping rocks one day, and then I look down. There's a beautiful black stone, so I take it home. A few months later, my mother shakes me awake in the middle of the night. She says, "You've got five minutes to grab anything you ever want to see again." At the time, I thought to myself this is the moment where my life changes for the worse. So one of the things I grabbed on my way out is this little stone. Look, Pete, this is a touching story. Are you going to tell me what this is? Uraninite. As in uranium. Oh, uranium. In Connecticut? We're one of the few states that's got it. After I analyzed Pete's stone, I had him take me out to the pond. - Took some core samples. - How much is down there? It doesn't matter. Just from the surface readings alone, it promises that some big energy company will come in and buy us out. Okay. And how much do I get for not telling Audrey? We can give you 2. 2 what? 2 million. How much are you getting? We're getting our share. Your share is $2 million. Can I get a Maker's, neat? It's not easy to trust a man who's ready to fuck over his own grandmother. The kind of money we're talking about, I'd fuck over somebody I like. [chuckling] Yeah, I get it. And I got to hand it to you. It almost worked. Your plan has two fatal flaws. One is my client Chayton Dockery. Audrey took his cash collateral. And when he comes for it tomorrow, let's just say, if she's lucky, she goes to prison and all of her assets will be seized and the sale of the house will be cancelled. And if she isn't lucky? Well, then she's dead, and you'll be dealing with Dockery. Now, if I were to get the money and put it in the safe, everything will be fine when Audrey opens it up for Dockery tomorrow. And why would you do that? Out of the goodness of my heart and $5 million. There's no fucking way we're giving you $5 million. I'd reconsider that. If you work with me, you're still rich. If you go against me, you get nothing. [sigh] I... Fine. Fine. But the money goes in the safe tonight. Which brings us to problem number 2. If we pay off Dockery, Audrey's got no reason to follow through with the sale of the house. She sold it to him. Seeing as it's Sunday, what you signed was an intent to sell. Tomorrow she could put a stop to all this and my guess is she will because that's what she does. Audrey's been pawning collateral. I have a list of the items she's sold. I will threaten to go to the cops. She'll lose her license, her business, maybe does some time. Or she signs the farm over to me. If Audrey signs the farm over to you, the other grandchildren will all have grounds for suit once the value of the land is discovered. We'll fight them. And you'd be tied up in legal battles for years. Legally, the better play would be to sign the quick claim over to the only surviving child. - What? - Your mother. Maybe we can make a deal with her. Although shit, no. [sigh] Julia told me she's somewhere on the West Coast. No. She's not. She's here in Bridgeport. She came back a few years ago. She's just never contacted anybody. I think she's just waiting for Otto and Audrey to... to die. Well, call her up. I... She doesn't have a phone. I... If it's a long story, then let's go see her. I don't know where she is. I have to look for her, okay? Okay. Call me when you've found her. Cheers for the drink. That went well. We didn't have time to prep for a rollover. What did you always tell me? Work the problem. You say that like there's only one problem. God knows what Lance is going to come up with while you try to produce a mother out of thin air. Pay the bill. [line ringing] Hey, uh, I hope you're having a great Sunday because we got a big fucking problem. Marjorie: Okay. How soon can you make it to Bridgeport? Why? Because I need you to be the rope. Okay. Who am I playing? Pete's mom Maggie. Uh, isn't she, like, north of 50? I just played your mistress a few years ago, Marius. What, now I'm your mother? What is this, Hollywood? Well, we're screwed if you don't. Ohh. Do you have any idea of her height? No. Oh. Good. I'll sit. Uh, need to be dark, and I'll need something that makes them not want to look too closely. Okay. I need to know a few things about her, please. I don't know much beyond her name. Well, figure it out. - [phone rings] - Shit. Yeah. I followed him into New Haven. He just parks and into the scientific supplies store. What? Open the car. Open the car. - Shit. - What? He's buying a Geiger counter. God damn. Look, I need you to stall him for an hour, all right? How the hell am I supposed to do that? I don't know. Look, you want to succeed in the life? Figure it out. Work the problem. And now what? What are we gonna do? We're gonna salt it. With what? Gonna find somebody on CraigsList trying to unload a couple pounds of yellowcake? Nope. Bullshit. Is the internet ever wrong? If kitty litter's radioactive enough to set off a Geiger counter, what makes you think it won't grow me a third nut or some shit like that? For the amount you've been breaking my balls lately, I could use a spare one. [sobbing] Hey. You okay? No! Oh, God. Ohh. Oh, yeah. No. My boyfriend. He hurt you? Uh, you want me to call the cops? No. No. That'll only make things worse. I just want to go to his place, pick up my stuff. If I just had an hour. [phone rings] [ring] [beep] Bernhardt Bail Bonds. Otto speaking. I'm at the bar. Come see me now. [click] Yeah, it, uh... Well, no, no, no, sir, we don't, and, um, I would... I would appreciate it if you would take us off your list. [beep] Hey, uh, you mind watching the place for a few minutes while I go hit the head? You don't have a toilet? Oh, it's busted. Goddamn landlord doesn't want to pay to fix it. We've been using the bar down the street. Anyone stops in, just tell them I'll be back in five or thereabouts. At my age, it may take a little longer. [honking] Hey. Hey, why'd you park me in? Hey, what the fuck, man? Why'd you park me in? You want to take a swing? Do it. Nothing would make me happier. Just want you to move your truck. What was I thinking? You only beat women, right? Listen... You're not paying for a double, and even if you... even if you were, it wouldn't include Crazy Horse over there. That's a whole other deal entirely. - I'm trying... - You're not trying hard enough. Get rid of him soon, or this doesn't happen. He left New Haven an hour ago. He'll be here. Yeah, well, I'm just saying. No, you're just worrying. Hmm. Where else is he going to go - with a Geiger counter? - Huh. [phone rings] Hi, Julia. I did what you asked. I got him to the restaurant and made sure he was facing the door. Thank you. Look, I know how tough this is for you. Tough? This is... This is tough? No matter how this goes down, I lose. You get that, don't you? If you're right, the father of my son is nothing better than a con man. If you're wrong... I betrayed him. I... I understand it. I... [beep] Any action? Well... Huh. You have no idea. When I was a young man, I used to piss, it was like a river. Coffee? There you go. It's on the house. [clicking] [phone rings] [ring] What? Oh, good. Well, I certainly look forward to meeting her. Hi. Oh! [chatter] What the fuck do you want? [chatter] Don't fucking talk to me like that. Fuck! You know what? You just leave the fucking bar. I'm j... Which one? Fuck you. Yeah, fuck you. F... Unbelievable, man. - She's fucking impossible. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. What happened? She's worse than Audrey. Or maybe it's you. Can I buy you a drink? Uh, are you supposed to smoke around pressurized oxygen? No. That's why I turned it off. Dip shit. Okay. I'm sorry. That was the wrong way to start this. - Gee. - Maggie, my name is Lance. I'm, uh... in a relationship with your niece. I know your mother very well. I've been on the wrong end of her wrath a good many times. - And, uh... - Up-up-up. Shit. Shit! Fuck! She lose the lisp? Pardon me? Julia. Had a bad lisp as a kid. I only rooted for her. Yeah. She told me about that. That must have been cute as hell. But yeah, she lost the lisp. She grew into a beautiful, smart woman. Look, I know what Audrey did to you. And as far as I can see, right now, this is your chance to get back at her. Ahem. Didn't you say you were gonna buy me a drink? - Is she in? - Of course she's in. You got to pay her tab. Pay the tab. Son of a bitch. All right, so when we get the money and I put it in the safe, I'll let you call Audrey, - and you can be the hero. - Yeah, absolutely not. You're not coming with me, and I'm not giving you the money. Raven. Raven, it's okay. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. It's okay. You sure you're okay, Mia? Of course. A little fall never hurt anyone. Uh, what's her name? The girl with the wild horse. Her name is Zoe. And she's our friend. Let's go, let's go. Here. Take this. You look half frozen. Thank you. It was my fault Raven got out yesterday. I was supposed to fix the gate. It's... It's fine. It's no big deal. You could have been hurt. And... I'm... I'm sorry. Pin, if it wasn't for you, I would have never met Raven. You'd have met him, one way or another. Some things are just meant to be. Don't say anything... but I know how Raven got out. - It was horse thieves, wasn't it? - No. Pin forgot to mend the gate. Oh. Kind of boring. We don't know who's stealing sedatives. It's horse thieves. Or who Ghost Pony is. - Or why Bob's obsessed with the muck heap. - And she's off. I guess I'd better head home. My mom will be worrying. - But you'll be back tomorrow. - Will she? - Will I? - Yeah, totally. You've got the pony bug now, and there's no cure for that. - Granddaughter 1 returns. - That's my girl. Back in time for dinner. Okay, I've had the most insane day. I don't know where to start. Uh... Sam, she asked me to help with Raven, he's a horse. And Pin was like, "Back off, tourist." - And I... - You've been at the stables? It sounds like you had fun, whatever you were doing. Everybody's actually kind of cool. Apart from Mia... I don't want you riding. What? Why? Because I need you keeping an eye on Rosie. - She could come with me. - Rosie at a stable? I don't think so. Okay. It's fine. She doesn't have to be with me the whole time. This isn't up for discussion. I've got enough to worry about with Gramps and your dad and... Just... promise me. No riding. Sure. No riding. Whatever you need, Mom. Whatever you need. Hey. How was the pier? Okay, I'm not being funny, but there was literally one shop. Are you serious? - I know, right? - Yeah. There are more shops than that... in jail. Well, I'm sure you found a way to have fun. Did Mom seem weird to you? Um, not more than usual, but she's fine. Don't worry. Well... I will be in my room, avoiding risky activities. So... yeah. Mom just went off on me and made it clear she doesn't want me to ride. - Well, did you talk to her about it? - Have you met Mom? Good point. Mm-hmm. Anyway... How have you been, Dad? How's your time-out going? It's been pretty quiet. A little too quiet without you guys. But tell me about that cute little island you're on. Did Rosie meet the queen yet? The queen, she is in London. And it's... It's cool. I met some new friends. Wait a minute. Dad... what is it? That sweater, Zoe. Whose sweater is that? It's my friend's. He lent it to me. "He"? Oh, no. No. Are you hanging out with boys? Zoe, I've had this talk with you before. All boys are bad. All of them. Yes, Dad, yes. Seriously? I gotta go, okay? I love you. - I love you, too. - I love you. Bye, bye-bye. My dad always says never judge a book by its cover. Take Pin, for example. The guy looks like he swallowed a bag of lemons... but underneath it all, he's surprisingly... Surprisingly likely to be a horse thief, after all. Sedatives. Pin... what have you done? Go away Stay out of our village you slut streetwalker Go away We don't want to live with you anymore Go away Never come back Go away PICTURE OF BEAUTY LVIV UNIVERSITY EXPELLED Finally This is Mia Tell your whore to go away before I slap her I only sleep with virgins and even then only once See you next month Come on girls Move Come on I love your work This is exactly what we need here When a client sees a sexy and hot painting he gets more excited, and when he gets excited he pays more money quicker The right painting here can double our income This is the biggest painting we have ever commisioned and I will pay you in gold but you must capture something beautiful the painting must show the best ass like Hanna's Great bosoms Long great legs and beautiful hair Look at this great face and lips and have you ever seen such a beautiful little sweet oster? I want to experience everything life has to offer I want to meet a special man If only my father and mother alive Your mother was a whore and your father a whoremonger You have a new commission? Yes but it is going to be difficult Shall I look for models? See what you can find You have been living off your father for long enough We can no longer tolerate your sin in this house This one is a sailor This one a policeman and this a farmer It's destiny my darling He also chose you and has written you this letter That's decided then You can pack your things We will wait here the master will be back shortly What does he want your Master? The same as all men? All he wants is to draw you but naked and he won't want any fun? He is a little bit strange like that he loves looking and working This man must be unusual Dearest Julia I saw your picture and I felt that you were the one I hope you don't find my thoughts foolish but I believe in the World there is that one special person waiting to be found that soul mate, that persons other half without whom we wander this Earth without sense like a turtle without it's shell like a candle without it's wick a priest without his church I know I can and desire to protect you look after you bring you happiness and love Please be mine or I know I will die your miserable servant Frederick I need some really rich materials deep intense colours, maybe some furs Arab African something sensual and erotic and I need a special girl These girls are beautiful Yes they maybe too beautiful unless unless I can find a beauty to match theirs There are many beautiful girls but not many can pose I saw a girl the other day How are you Paul? I am working on my father's farm driving the coach I like riding in the coach Really? If you ever wanted to go riding I could take you I won't be around here anymore I going to get married to an amazing man He has never seen me but he knows me so well People know you People love you Who loves me? Name me one person who loves me me Welcome darling The priest is waiting It would be a sin to be under the same roof without the blessing of God Sunny days and rainy days I pronounce you man and wife You may kiss the bride now Are you a virgin? Yes Get up and go to work in the kitchen You ain't no priest and you fool are no wife You are now a kitchen maid I hear you arranged a marriage for Julia Is she happy? I know nothing Something is not right, where is Julia? I have no idea What have you done? My best friend Julia has disapeared She is the village beauty You would like her He is so talented You are in love with him I am sorry I didn't realise I am stupid Don't worry about it It is him not us I think that real women leave him cold But this is human fantasy pleasure, do you want to be as restrictive as the Church or State? These frightened people to scared to live But why is it that it is the women who is beaten and tied? Is there not enough of that in reality? Plenty of men like being beaten and tied If it makes people happy is it bad? I saw your friend Julia being arrested It's finished except for one thing I need another figure Is Paul around? Paul Stand next to Julia Wonderful My legs are longer than that My bum is too big My breasts are a bit small Mine are too big My bum is not that shape and the're a different size What is that bush between my legs? Near Nagerkoil... Hey, I'm driving! (Song playing) Don't be mean. A kiss is all I asked. No way. Hey, please! Just one kiss... Like this. I Promise. - Fraudster What do you call this? That was just rehearsal. - Really? Hey, Rhino! Why did you use the room freshener? Boss, Sadhana is here. Taunting me, are you? You always over use the perfume! That's Victoria Secret Line's Perfume. You bought it from the local store, right? Country attar packed in a fancy way. This your Victoria Secret? What about you? You use the local ingredients and sell it as international cuisine. Hey! Don't make fun of my recipe. I have won awards. I was given the best... Enter... something like that. That's Entrepreneur. - Exactly. Forget it... Let me come to the point. You are one among the top 25 upcoming stars selected by a weekly magazine. I wrote the article about you. Let me read it out. Chef Arun. Age: 25 He lost his eyesight at the age of 15. That didn't stop this self reliant man... from mastering the art of cooking. Traditional Indian cuisines... To Italian, Mexican cuisines... Chef, the food is superb. - Thank you. Varun is one of the best visually challenged chefs... Stop... stop I feel shy to hear my own success story. Will you please keep the book and leave? You are taunting me too much. Bye. Thank you. Don't mention. Rhino! Bake it. Who is it? Is the restaurant closed? Yes. Sorry. The closing time is 10:30 PM. An elderly man on the platform told that he was hungry. He asked me if he can have something to eat. There is no other hotel nearby. That's why... Please wait. Let me check. Somehow I managed this with the leftovers. Take it. Sorry for disturbing you... I didn't know about your condition. Nothing to sympathize. This is my restaurant. This is my job. Okay. Thanks. You can visit the elderly man if you would like to. He is nearby. Hang on. Let me close the restaurant. He is here. Take it. Thank you very much. I'll leave. Shall I drop you somewhere? Thanks. I've a knowledge of every nook and corner of this locality. Bye. Your article by Sadhana is very good, isn't it? It requires a big heart to appreciate you - Mom. Get me chappathis. Despite owning a restaurant You are still eating mom's food. I know where this conversation will end. Don't be boring. Okay? Welcome. Did the elderly man ask for food, today as well? No. But, how did you know that it was me? Your deodorant brand is Nivea, right? You are awesome. I forgot to pay the bill, yesterday. How much was it? - It's Okay. If I get the money The credit for the good deeds will go to you. No need. Sorry. How about getting some credits today? You told that the elderly man didn't ask for food. It's not a big deal to find a hungry man in our city. One moment. I'm Deepa. I work in a clothing store in a shopping mall. I'm Varun. Cutting, baking, boiling and frying things. This is my profession. Did you just extend your hand? What? For an introduction? No. Sorry. I forget this all the time! It's okay. No. Let's start from the beginning. Hi, I'm Varun. Deepa. Varun... Excuse me. Have it. - Thank you very much. Shall we leave? Here... With no control Somehow, I am becoming you. Without the eyes laying sight... I am becoming like you. The fiber of my life shines colorfully. While killing me with fondness... Love is getting kindled... Sight is going beyond the eyes. (Are you) The flower of inner sun, or my penance? Is this love or enemity? Hey, love has become my eyes... And is withholding your beauty. Your fragrance has become my way And brings me closer to you. A storm is galloping like a horse... And my heart has climbed aboard and vanished. Even robbery becomes just... When my wish steals you away. Where is your father? Has he absconded? He isn't picking my calls. He can't run away from us. If he doesn't meet us tomorrow Things may turn ugly. - Who's that, Deepa? Someone I know. Any problem, Deepa? No. Nothing. Are you the woman past desires, The one ruling all my desires? Are you the one to rope the moon in your forehead? You became the enchanted forest in one single flower, my lady Are you the one to pour nectar on that day? The thought of you approaches me and burns my soul. I lost my loneliness. I lost myself in your thoughts. You are my companion. I like Varun a lot. But he will tease if I tell him. Which is why... You are a friend who knows him well. He will not get a better partner than you. A storm is galloping like a horse... And my heart has climbed aboard and vanished. Even robbery becomes just... When my wish steals you away. Hey, love has become my eyes... And is withholding your beauty. Your fragrance has become my way And brings me closer to you. Siri, time? Siri, call Deepa. Hi, Deepa. I'm waiting for you. Where are you? 'Sadhana Calling'. Deepa. What happened? Is something wrong? I can help you only if you tell me. Please, Deepa. Tell me. What's it? My sister fell in love with a guy. His family is quite well off. But, they still accepted their wedding. Since it was my sister's wish... My father spent more than he could afford He got her married in a grand way. She is happy with her life. But she forgot us. The money we had borrowed for the wedding... led us... into endless troubles. To help my dad, I started working. Even after 2 years We couldn't clear even a chunk of the loan. Dealing with the money-lenders has become a struggle of our daily life. But... Today... Today? Some thugs came home... and insulted us very badly. They said... If you can't repay the loan, Ask your daughter to... Unable to hear such things, my dad... In a haste... He promised to clear the loan... in 2 days. I surely know that it's not possible. Either... We leave the city. Or... My family should... Don't be foolish, Deepa. Even the man with a million rupees on loan is sitting happily. Please, Varun! You could have asked me. No. I just felt like sharing it with you. So, I did. I have some savings. I don't have immediate expenses lined up. I will lend it to you. - Please. Don't Varun. You are the only friend that I have left. I don't want your name in the moneylender's list. Forget this issue. Also ask your dad not to borrow any money for your wedding. Because I have no demands from my side. Don't get me wrong that I'm... taking advantage of your situation. I was actually waiting for you today... To propose. All these arrangements were meant for that. Deepa. I'm visually challenged. If that's the reason for your silence... You can tell me frankly. We can drop this right now. And remain friends. Other than that... There can be no reason for rejecting me. Because... I'm handsome... Charming... I know it myself. Hey! You did laugh, didn't you? I didn't. Don't you think that we have reached here a bit early today? Don't play around, Varun. It's getting late. It's not fair to leave me halfway. I'm going to be with you throughout my life. Okay, bye. Won't you send me off with a kiss? - Here? ! No. Here. Bye. Deepa. Say hello to my father-in-law! Severe head injury. But now he is alright. Since he is under heavy medications It may take a few days for him to gain consciousness. Let him stay in the hospital till then. He will recover soon. Thanks, doctor. At what age did your son lose his eyesight? When he was 15. All of a sudden he had a high fever. It continued for 2 weeks. He started losing his vision slowly. Doctors diagnosed him with... Retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative eye disease. But none of those treatments helped. We checked his eyes now His retina is responding to light. The ophthalmologist will be visiting tomorrow. Let's see what he has to say. Varun has light perception. Surgery may help him get his vision back. So... - There's nothing to think about, doctor. If Varun can get his sight back... We will manage any expense. Please go on and make necessary arrangements. - Sure. What's wrong with you? I know what I'm doing. The way my son saw me before 10 years The way he likes to see me. That's exactly how I'm dressed up. He will cry out asking if this is what he got his vision back for! You are jealous. He won't even be able to identify you. Shall I stick a mustache? Mom! Mom! - Sir. Please sit. It's a hospital. - Where is my mom? She will be here. - Who are you? Varun! - Mom! Where were you? I have no clue. What is happening? Nothing. You are in a hospital. You met with an accident. Varun, please don't strain. Be calm. You were hit by a car while getting back from the restaurant. How long have I been kept here? It's been 3 weeks. What? ! Stay calm. You are alright now. In fact there is a surprising. You've had an eye surgery. You are going to get your sight back! Your bandages will be removed today. Can you please be clear? - Doctor is here. What is he saying? He has isn't able to understand what's happening. He is tensed. Nothing to worry, Mr.Varun. You are absolutely fine. Just relax. Open your eyes, slowly. Varun, give it a try. Slowly... Try... Are you able to see? Can you see? One. Two. - Yes! Varun! I was scared! Let him take rest. I'll come back later. It's Sadhana. Mom. Did anyone come to visit me? who do you mean? We are all here. My friend. Which friend? Did anyone by the name Deepa visit me? Deepa? No. No one like that had come. Where is my phone? Did she call me? I need to talk to her immediately. I'll leave. Sadhana, wait. Where are you going? He is asking about someone called Deepa. I asked for my phone. I need to talk to Deepa immediately. I need to see her. What is this? Sadhana was the one who took care of you. You didn't even talk to her. I will talk to her, later. I need to talk to Deepa now. Will you give my phone? What do you think you are doing? We have been praying for your recovery... We have spent a lot of money and waited. You must be happy for getting your vision back. You are reciting someone random woman's name! - What did you say? What? - You spent what? Yes, we spent a lot of money. So, what? How much? Why do you want to know? Just tell me. Apart from our savings, we have borrowed some. Varun! - Varun, stop! Your eyes are very sensitive to light now. It will take some time to get used to excessive light. You will have to use spectacles. - Okay, doctor. 'Calling Deepa'. Varun. Think practically. You say that she used to come to the restaurant everyday. But you don't know what she looks like. You neither have her photo nor her address. How do we search for her? I promised to help her. She must have pinned her hopes on me. Would she have any idea about my accident? She would have thought that I had cheated her. There is no wrong from your side. Don't think too much. Varun. Excuse me. Do you remember the girl who used to come with me? Everyday I see lot of people. Thank you. Tell me if you see her. No idea. Is there any employee named Deepa? No one here. Any news of a suicide due to debts? Deepa, say hello to my father-in-law. Lets go. Varun. Varun, look at me. I have never seen you so down. Please don't be like this. You won't understand, Sadhana. Forget it. Don't say that! I know you very well. We have been friends for 7 years now. I know how you'd feel even without you telling it to me. And in the same way... I hope you can understand how I'm feeling. Varun. Shall we lodge a police complaint? No, dad. It will create more problems. Damodharan, from Chetpet, and his family, commits suicide owing to mounting pressure from debts. Damodharan, his wife Pushpa, and 14-year-old son Aravindh... committed suicide by consuming poison today. The police are investigating the incident. The locked house... Mom. Look at me. Please. Mom. I don't like to see you being upset because of me. Getting back your vision is a big thing. You must be very happy. Instead... Why are you upset like this about this random girl? I know, my fault. Sorry. Now, please smile for me. I'm telling you again... Sadhana is deeply in love with you. When you were hospitalised... I know. I will talk to her. What I meant is... More than the one we love... The one whom we love... The one who loves us... No, no... It's okay. Leave it, mom. I get the point. Have a seat, Sadhana. Will you like to have anything? Don't suddenly flip into a totally different person. Be normal. Only that suits you. Okay. I have to tell you the truth. Since you were coming, I didn't even use room freshener. Okay. Let me get to the point. If you still love her, I totally understand. Don't take any decision just because your parents are forcing you. You don't have to tell me 'you like me' just because someone is asking you to. Will it be okay if it comes from me? It's not like I have to like you with an effort now. I've always liked you. But I never felt that you could be the one for me. But now that I think of it, it all makes sense. I like you, Sadhana. Really? A small word said in passing... It is chilly, it is true, listen. You added sweetness to what you spoke. My feminity is stunned. Should I blush away? Or climb up high to touch the clouds? Should I yearn even more Or look for more words to speak? With the wishes as a garland... Shall I go around you all day long? A small word said in passing It is chilly, it is true, listen You added sweetness to what you spoke My masculinity is stunned. Should I say slowly Or increase the speed? Should I leave after saying or pause right there? Should I pinch at the love that was said Or should I lose myself to the love that was grabbed by my hands I realize today that there may be a thousand changes to the sight. I see myself through your eyes conveying love. I am seeing you with a pouring love... that I have collected. I am gently bringing to your ears the words I collected slowly. I put my hands out to get a raindrop... It remained just as a drizzle. Today, you are a downpour from up above... that drenches all my heart. A small word said in passing... It is chilly, it is true, listen. You added sweetness to what you spoke. My feminity is stunned. Should I blush away? Or climb up high to touch the clouds? Should I yearn even more Or look for more words to speak? With the wishes as a garland... Shall I go around you all day long? Rhino. I'll close the restaurant. Mom wants you home; you leave. Okay. Sorry, sir. We are closed. Someone named Varun... I'm Varun. And you are? Your eyesight? I had lost it earlier. After a surgery now... Sir, who are you? Do you remember Deepa? Sir! I'm her father. Why did you let us down like that! Sir, what do you mean? Didn't Deepa come now? Where is Deepa? She told us happily that you offered to help us with the money, that all our problems will go away... She sounded so happy... But you were seen no where. I kept telling her we should leave the city. But she did not listen. She was confident that you would come back... and asked me to wait. How many days do we give excuses? The moneylenders have kidnapped my daughter. They are threatening to kill my daughter If we don't clear all our debts. What do you mean? I want my daughter back. Alive. Alive. - Sir... Please get up. Please. Don't cry. We will rescue Deepa for sure. They are very dangerous people. If we go to the police... They will not think twice to kill my daughter. Nothing of that sort will happen. Give me a day's time. Please. Come. Have a seat. How much do you owe them now? Going to have your morning coffee with Sadhana? I have to invite my close friend. I will be able to meet him only if I go now. So... Bye. Hello. Okay. He asked me to come in. My daughter! - Stop! Don't hurt her. Have you brought the money? Who is that? ! Who is the that? ! He is someone I know. Just give him the money. They might hurt her. Give it to him. - How much have you brought? How much? - It's not cash. It's jewellery. Jewellery? Are you mocking me? I asked for cash. Are you trying to trap me with the jewels? Oldie, looks like you don't want your daughter back alive! Leave her! Time out! Collect her pieces and go! The jewels are worth more than the money they owe you! Don't rush. Let her go! Please! Take it and leave her! Don't hurt my daughter! Let her go! Deepa! Had you given the money, you would've saved a life. Trying to be a hero, are you? Go to hell! You moron, I'll kill you! If you even think of going to the police... You will be inviting trouble for yourself. Deepa. Varun... Varun... Stop. What happened? Where were you? What happened? Every last piece of gold jewellery bought for the wedding is missing! I called you N number of times. Aunt told that you left the house this morning with a bag. All the jewels are missing. And you turn up like this now! What happened? Mom... Deepa... - Her again? Why bring her up again? What happened? Deepa's dad met me yesterday. He said Deepa was kidnapped and asked for my help. So... So, I took the jewels to save her. But everything went wrong. They looted the jewels... - What? ! I couldn't save Deepa either. If you can't forget her. If you are so attached to her. Why am I even here? Why is this wedding happening? Sadhana, please. I did ask you. If you weren't able to forget her, I was ready to step away. You kept nodding your head and expressing interests in me, and now you are after her. You took the wedding chain as well, didn't you? Had you saved her, Would you tied it around her neck and married her? Mom, ask her to keep quiet. Why should I stay quiet? Sadhana, be calm. It's not necessary anymore. I will leave. I'm not ready to get mislead by him any further. I'm sorry, aunt. I don't want this wedding. - Sadhana! Mom, let's go. 'Who? What? When? ' 'Swathi was hanging out with her friends'. '2 twilight thieves arrested.' Sadhana. Sadhana. Is the article ready? I want to take off for 10 days. Leave for 10 days? You people are hopeless! If you think of going to the police... You are inviting trouble for yourself! I'm hungry. Please help me. Sorry. Don't run! Catch him! Stop there. Yesterday night, on the Kanyakumari- Nagercoil highway... a man was found dead after being hit by an unidentified vehicle. His age is presumed to be about 50. As we had asked Inspector Arivazhagan of Kanyakumari... A man who was walking on the highway was hit by a vehicle and died on the spot. The man had no identity card or phone on him. So we were unable to get his details. Investigation is going on now. Those who know any detail about him can approach the Kanyakumari police station. I'm going to Kanyakumari for an urgent work. I'll call once I'm done with it. Inform dad. Stop! Why are you going? A man was found dead in the Kanyakumari-Nagercoil highway. Either we run away from the city, Or the whole family... Why are you so worried after coming to Kanyakumari? Any problem? You said wanted to visit police station as well? Nothing. I'm going to meet my friend. Sir. Yes. - I'm from Chennai. 2 days ago, a man was found dead in a road accident in Kanyakumari. Yes. How do you know him? Actually... Then why do you want to know about him? Sir, I'm from the media. You guys want news 24/7! Why do you torture us for that? There is a guy called Panju. He is dealing with this case. Go meet him. Thank you, sir. Give him the keys. Don't drink and drive. Got it? - Okay, sir. Sorry, sir. - Bye. He is a relative of the MLA. Won't you enquire all these things in advance? I will be careful hereafter,Sir. Have you caught a single proper case till now? It doesn't make a difference either way... It's my mistake to have become a cop. Don't go and drag another problematic case just because I said this now. Get a case that will bring honours to the station and me. Bring something that brings cheers to me and the station. Definitely, sir. You will repent for all these. Sir, I am waiting for you. Who are you? - I'm Varun. I'm a program producer in Q TV. You would have heard about the show. 'Crime: Why? What? When? ' No, I haven't. A very important thing. Perumal, one strong tea. Sir, tea. Yes. - Sir. A guy was found dead in a road accident in Kanyakumari-Nagercoil highway recently... I want some details regarding that case. Why do you want to know? I'm working on a program about unsolved death cases caused by road accidents. Did anyone come in search of this man? In some cases, people come searching immediately. At other times, they come a bit late. But no one has come in search of this man so far. What about his body? We are done with postmortem and other formalities. Won't you wait till someone comes to identify the person? There is neither a mortuary big enough nor the Government funds large enough to do that. If no one comes in search of the dead person, we proceed with the formalities. If anyone comes after that, we will verify with a photo. If we have any of their belongings, we return them. That's it. Perumal, add this to my outstanding credit. Your credit amount is never settled. Sir, won't you enquire about the vehicle driver? It's possible only with camera surveillance. If no one comes in search of them... We will cross-check with other police stations for 'person missing' cases. Or else, we mark it as an unidentified man dead in a hit-and-run incident, and close the case. Sir. This is the concept of our program. To find out who these unidentified dead people in these accidents are, and to find the culprit behind these incidents. Congratulations. You have come to the right place. You will get all the details that you need. - Sir. I'm sure you are going to find it all here. You are the hero of our program. - Hey. I'm already fed up with this job. Don't irritate me. Get lost. Please. Have some patience. Such road accidents are very high in number. Many cases get closed without finding any details about the victim. As you mentioned... There is neither the time nor the funds from the Government. But there will be at least one person bothered about the dead guy. We have to find that person... And make sure the information reaches them. This is the concept of our program. It has an emotional content. Give it a thought. Think about it. It's my mistake to have had a tea without getting you one. Have a tea in my credit. Perumal... Sir. If this program becomes a hit, your photo will become viral on social media. People will praise you as the ideal cop. After which... promotion, salary hike... - Get lost. Panju Sir! Panju Sir! How long will you be an underdog? When will you rise to occasion? I'm going to pee. Step aside. Sir. Okay, Sir. Greetings. Inspector asked to come here. Didn't you bring your gun? I wonder how you will manage without it! Go upstairs. Hey, crow! Perumal, one strong tea. Make it two. - Okay, Sir. What's up, Sir? Would you like to have any fried snacks? No tension! I gave an idea to change your image altogether. Now it's upto you. I'm scared of the risk involved. Moreover, it's a TV program... What's the risk? You are a cop investigating a case. As a TV channel, we will support you. If everything falls in place... We will get the content. And you... will get the respect and dignity from the public, that is missing at the police station. Only you have come here. What about the rest of the crew? Initially, I will read the case thoroughly. I'll then deeply investigate it. The crew will then arrive. Perumal, make a note in Sir's credit list. Didn't the victim have any sort of ID or visiting card on him? Had it been there, you wouldn't have had to come here. This is a tourist spot. Was the victim a tourist? Was he on an official trip? Or he was just trespassing? Was it a death by accident? Or did it he commit suicide? I have no clue. No local person was able to identify him. One thing is for sure. You are real serious about this case now. You seem to trust me. I'll solve this case just for that. Madam. Take this. 'Catch if he drinks' app has been installed in it. If your husband drinks alcohol in a local wine shop, or anywhere else, the app will send you a text. Yes. Okay? There he is. I'm coming to get you! Reserve a special cell for me. I'll be right back after stabbing him! Poor husband. Can one man be the reason for destroying another? The curse of husbands will not spare you. Be careful. - It's okay. Is the inspector's phone ready? It is ready. - Give it. Do you know the old actor 'Bagavathar'? Yes. - This is belongs his era. Why is he still using it? May be he has his sentiments about it. We can fix that then. I'll fix wifi, bluetooth, and all features in this. Why would you do that! So he can track all my activities and be a pain? Give me the phone. Get the money from him. If the phone conks off again, take it to the museum. Please don't bring it to my shop. I'll pass the message to the inspector. Panju, if the victim was an outsider, He should have stayed in a hotel or at a lodge. Why don't we enquire there. I now know why we seem to set well together. You speak my mind. Well done. Come on. An enquiry. - Yes, Sir. Before 18th of September... Did this guy stay here? No, Sir. Are you sure? Or do you want confirm with someone else? I'm sure. He is not our guest. Panju, this is where I stay. Please come. Do you know him? No. Take a closer look. He was staying here. I'm sure that he didn't stay here. How are you so sure? I never forget any guest's face. I can even remember a guest who stayed with us 10 years ago. Do you know him? No. Give the key for room number 205. Why? He is staying here. Give the key. We are investigating trusting people like this! Come. He was staying here for a while. What happened to him? Don't bother about it. Since when was he staying here? They vacated last week. THEY vacated? How many people? This guy, and another man with you. What was the other man's age? - Probably within 30. Take the register and look for the entry. Here. This one? SIRI, call. 98942-83-834. The phone number, address, and other information from the lodge are fake. The number is registered on a fake company's name. They have been using it illegally. The SIM had been active till his death. Now it's not in use. What about the incoming and outgoing call details? Not too many calls. But there are repeated calls from a number. The number that ends with 333. I enquired about that as well. That's also illegal. Not in use. Did you get information about the other guy in the lodge? We didn't get enough details about him. There is just one window open for investigation now. We have to find the one who killed him in the accident. Our program's main concept is to find information about the unidentified dead people. We can enquire about the rest later. Looks like I often have to remind you who's the cop. I'm the deciding authority here. But finding the vehicle involved in the accident is also is a tough task... Exactly. Come with me. Based on the postmortem report, the impact suggests that... it's clear that the vehicle involved in the accident is a car. There were shattered glass pieces all over. That must be of the car's windshield. If it was an outsider, he couldn't have left the town without changing it. The same applies to a local person as well. What if it was a local person... And he has his car hidden without changing the windshield? Okay, you leave. Investigate this case in your pattern. Or try a cookery show instead. Don't ask for my help. - Sir, chill... I was just giving an opinion. You are the leader of this case. Forget about it. Tell me about the next step. Start the bike. What? I don't know to ride a bike. I have to do that as well? Greetings, Sir. Greetings. I want all the details of windshield repairs that have been done since the 18th. Okay, Sir. I'll check it. Also I need the address of nearby workshops. Okay, Sir. List of people who had changed the wind shield. Yes, Sir. Yes, it was an accident. A coconut fell from the tree at full speed and shattered the glass. Repair cost me 4000 rupees. This car? Did you replace a damaged windshield? - Yes. How did it get damaged? Some kids broke it while playing cricket on the streets. Mohan. - Welcome, Sir. I want the details of those who have changed windshields. Here it is, Sir. A car from Dindigul has been here for a windshield change. Let's enquire. This is the number. Siri, call... I'm dead serious in the middle of this, You are always poking the phone in my face saying 'Siri...' Can't you even dial a number? Sorry, Sir. I'm used to it. Yes, a minor accident. So I changed the windshield. I had even filed an FIR to claim insurance. Do you want the FIR number? It's okay. Not necessary. Thanks. Are we taking the right path? Only some places are left. Let's hope for the best. Come. Panju. Who is it? Manoj? Yes. Yes, that's me. And you are? We are coming from Kanyakumari police station. We want some details. Is there a problem? Shall we talk inside? Okay, come in. Who has kept this here? - Don't change it's position... If you change it, he will get hurt later. Thanks. And you are? He has come with me. Take your seat. Tell me. The car parked outside... Is it yours? Yes. You have changed the windshield of the car on the 19th. How did it break? Why do you want to know about that? A small enquiry. Tell me. Some drunkards pelted stones on it as I'd parked it outside. So I covered it and parked inside later. You seem to have changed the glass in a hurry. Small shards of broken glass pieces are still there. Sir... I'm a blind man. How would I know such details about the car? Am I the one driving the car? Who drives it? My driver. Until a couple of months ago. After that? He didn't maintain. the car properly Also, I didn't use it much. So I had to relieve him from his job. No one used the car after that. I take an auto or cab if necessary. So... No one has used the car for 2 months now? Yes. Anything else? We will contact if anything else needed. I have some work now. So... 2 thugs came home... Your sight? Greetings, Sir. - You are Moorthy, right? Sculptor Manoj's Driver? I was working as his driver 2 months ago. Didn't you continue after that? No, Sir. Don't lie. You have driven his car and got it into an accident on the 18th. I'm working here for the past 2 months. It has been while since I last saw Mr.Manoj. Why would I drive his car? Manoj said that you were fired because of you didn't maintain the car properly. I was his driver for 3 years. If that was true, he could've fired me long ago. My current employer verified with him before giving me this job. You can cross-check if needed. If it wasn't you, who would've driven the car? I thought that he was going to sell the car. He didn't say anything when I asked him. One day, I saw a lady driving his car. I heard that she was staying with him. I presumed that that might be the reason for firing me. Do you know her? No. I have not seen her while I was working for him. How did she look like? She was young, fair, and stylish. Age? She was a young lady. Would you able to identify her? I can't be very sure. We will enquire again if required. Give me your number. You mustn't leave the town now. Okay, Sir. Yes, aunt. How are you? I'm okay. Tell me. What's the matter? Did Varun call you? I have deleted his number. Why would he call me? Even if he calls, I'm not ready to talk to him. Please. Don't get furious. Even when he had was blind, he was peaceful. Now everything has turned upside-down. Why are you telling me this? Varun left for Kanyakumari all of a sudden. He didn't share any further details. He has not been picking my calls either. I'm confused. And worried. So I called you. Sorry, aunt. Don't call me hereafter regarding him. I'll get it repaired. This Alphonse can fix all phones, don't worry. Okay. I'll leave. Bye. Welcome. - Did you get any information? No call from the number you mentioned got completed. From Manoj's number? Yes. Unless the call gets completed, I can't find the number Manoj has been dialling. I checked the date you mentioned. After the 17th, there are no incoming or outgoing calls to and from the number. But before the 17th, calls have been made and received to and from a specific number. I eve have it written down somewhere. Here it is. 7599... 447333. 333... A number that ends with 333. Details of this number? You said the the victim of the accident got calls from a number? Is it the same number? Let me check. Yes. It's the same number. The number we got from the lodge, Manoj's number, and this number. There's some connection definitely. Sir. Moorthy, how are you? - I'm fine. Did our car met with an accident? Why do you ask? The cops are torturing me, Sir. They are accusing me of that accident, that I drove the car. What did you say? That I am no longer working for you. I told them that the lady with you drives your car. How did you... Why did you blabber all that? Don't you have any sense? - Sir! Fool! Manoj, tell us the truth at least now. Who was with you? What actually happened? Who is it? The same cops who came yesterday. Tell me what happened. I did tell you that nothing happened. Please leave. If nothing had happened... there is no need for you to get furious. Manoj! Manoj! Manoj, open the door! Open the door! Hello! Where are you going? You can't leave the place without answering us. I have no obligations to do so. I'll tell what I have to tell at the police station. I'm a cop myself! You can tell me. - Auto! Why is he so adamant? I don't know. Start the bike. Come on. I'm dead! Though I wasn't a super-cop, I was at least called a mediocre one. I might lose that even identity now, because of you! Keep going, Panju. Will you drive recklessly just because you are cop? Can't you be careful? Where is your helmet? Let's go, Panju. Sorry, man. Idiot. He went inside! How do I always find one like this! Hey! Inspector Arivazhagan? Yes. Are you Inspector Arivazhagan? Yes. Tell me. Are you Inspector Arivazhagan? Indeed I am. Tell me. Are you really Inspector Arivazhagan? Who is this at my station, questioning me? Hey, Panju! Sir! - Come here! Sir? Find out what this man wants. Okay, Sir. Come. Did I really speak to the Inspector? Yes. Why are you bugging us? Tell me, is he really Inspector Arivazhagan? Yes, he is. You came so furiously to meet this very same Arivazhagan. Manoj. Manoj, please relax. I can understand that you are in some trouble. Your car was involved in the accident. The person with you must have driven the car. Your intention of saving her is not wrong. But a life has been lost. Don't get scared, Manoj. We are not dealing this case officially. Only if you tell the truth, we can save you and your friend. Just like this, a guy came to help. The penalty I paid for it is 20 lakh rupees. To whom did you give? Inspector Arivazhagan. What do you mean? ! That who he said he was. Last week, my girlfriend Ashwini and I had gone for a drive. Go away. Just one kiss like this. Fraudster! What do you call this then? This was just a rehearsal. Suddenly, she thought she saw someone standing on the road and she swerved the car away in one quick movement. Ashwini! What happened? Ashwini! Ashwini! Where are you? What happened? What happened? I killed a guy, Manoj. Come, Ashwini. Let's go. I convinced her somehow and got her home. All this happened because... some idiot had placed a scarecrow in the middle of the road. I consoled her that it was not her fault. But she kept crying. We couldn't sleep out of fear. The calling ball rang at 5 AM. Who is it, Ashwini? At this time? Police! A policeman has come! Inspector Arivazhagan. Can I come in? He got in and started threatening us. The car being involved in the accident... Ashwini having driven it... The windshield of the car having broken... He seemed to know everything. He threatened that he had evidence for it all. Ashwini and I... Ashwini immediately pleaded guilty. Ashwini is an NRI, right? Yes, Sir. - Hit-and-run case. If an FIR is filed, she can't go back. You must help us! Please, Sir! I ensure that a case is not filed. But if any of his relative create a problem, we need to silence them. That will cost you. No, Manoj. Sir, I killed him. I accept my fault. Keep quiet, Ashwini! Sir... What should we do? Manoj. Where is Ashwini now? She didn't like me bribing the cop. She felt guilty and left the same day. I don't know where she went or what she is doing now. I could not contact her either. Seeing everything that is happening now, I'm worried about her safety! She should be safe, Manoj. Is Ashwini's number? 7599... 44... 7333? Yes! How do you know it? We will explain. If we need to find Ashwini... We need some details about her. Since when do you know Ashwini? Recently... Not too long ago... She came to see my sculptures. We became friends. You said Ashwini was an NRI? Yes. From Singapore. She has some ancestral property near Nagercoil. She had come to sell it. Was she staying with you? At first she was staying outside. As we got closer... She came here and stayed with me. I was happy every single moment that I spent with her. She loved me as well. But everything turned up-side-down in one night. Maybe Ashwini has gone back to Singapore. Do you have that contact number? Her E-mail ID, Facebook ID, or something like that? No. - Nothing? So you had kept punching a number no longer in use! Manoj... Do you have any photo of you and her together? No, I don't. What will I do with the photos? The few photos that we did take are on her phone. Any of your relatives or friends who have seen Ashwini? No. Have you seen any of her friends or relatives? No. Where is that ancestral place that you mentioned? I don't know. - What? What were you doing with her without knowing anything? Manoj... Have you both gone out somewhere together? Sometimes we used to go for a night drive. Mostly we like solitude. Hmmm... Enjoyment in solitude... Please think about it... Haven't you gone out anywhere together? On my birthday... We went to a temple and had lunch outside. Which restaurant? Beach Walk. - When is your birthday? September 12th. Okay, Manoj. We will try to find Ashwini. You don't get scared. Thank you. Don't go to the police station again. You may end up in an even bigger trouble. Not all cops will be honest like me. Got it? Panju. If 333 number is Ashwini's... The victim is related to Ashwini. But, Ashwini... has not shared that detail with Manoj. So, our next target is... Ashwini. Go to September 12th. Lunch time. Panju. That camera. Play this camera's footage. Play the other one. - Done? No, Sir. I'll take care. - Panju. They will leave now. I assure you. Varun. - Sir. Please wait. We are checking, right? - What is this? Wait. What is this? Nothing, Sir. Why are they hitting the waiter? It's nothing serious.. - Hey... I want the answer. - Sir... He had been taking photos of the women coming to the restaurant discreetly... A customer noticed it. He was caught. When everyone started hitting him, he escaped. If we report it to the police, our restaurant will get a bad name... So we handled the situation and let it go. Where is he now? Is nobody there in the neighbouring house? No idea, Sir. The guy who was working at Beach Walk restaurant. His name is Dinesh. It's him. Yes. He was working in some hotel. - Where is he? I don't know, Sir. He should be somewhere around. Thanks. (boys chattering) Sorry, Sir. Please throw the ball. I just said sorry. Throw the ball, Sir. Oh, here you are! Met him? They came searching for you. Hey, stop! Hey! This fellow... Hello, Sir. - Where are you? I am chasing an accused in high speed, Sir! I'll talk later. I can't even catch such a slow-runner! I... Varun! Idiot! Will you keep breaking rules just because you are a cop? You are always interfering a responsible cop on duty! Get lost! Leave me! I said leave me! Why are you after me? What do you want? Sir, leave me! Leave me, Sir! What wrong did I do? Sir... - Got it? Sir! There's nothing in it. Please give it. Stay quiet. Unlock it. - Leave me! Give me the phone! - Hey... Unlock it! Sir! - Stay quiet! Leave me! - Panju... When is Manoj's birthday? - September 12th. He keeps annoying! Don't move! Won't you leave? Sir... Stay quiet! Sadhana! What are you doing here? How did you come here? Are you still after her? I wonder why I came running for you! Your mom is worried about you, wondering where you are, what you are doing... And here you are, roaming behind your lover. Don't talk nonsense without knowing about the situation! This is Ashwini. Are you trying to act wise by changing her name? I know that it's Deepa. I can never forget that face. You were all intimate with her at the restaurant! If you knew Deepa all along... Why didn't you mention it when I was searching for her? Yes, it's my mistake. Big mistake! I should have found he, gotten her married to you, and blessed you both. It's my mistake. Please forgive me. You will never change. You will go completely mad roaming behind her! Please don't blabber without knowing the situation. There's nothing complex to understand. Please, Sadhana! I'm already terribly confused. You are actually very clear. Only I am confused and running behind you repeatedly... What's happening here? But... I have seen many fraudsters. But you have tricked a cop for your own selfish, personal reasons. Panju... - You easily decided that a person like me will be a constable forever, that you can take full advantage of me! Can't blame you. My face is made to look like that! Had I not known the truth even now, I would be roaming with you dreaming of becoming a TV celebrity. Mister... - You almost got me fired from my job! We couldn't have made such a progress in this case without you! You would have gotten nowhere had I not come. Panju, the case has made a big progress. Our work starts only now! Our work? I won't even have you on my Facebook friend list. Enough! We started this case to find the details of the dead man. But this case has reached new heights now. If we are able to nab her, You will be in the limelight. She is really a journalist. If we solve this case perfectly, The cover page of her magazine Vikatan will bear your photo. This face? Cover page? Manoj. Why is he sobbing like this? How many shocks in the truth can he bear to hear in a day? He will be normal in a while. You left him to sob alone? - What do you want me to do? He is crying by himself. You should be the one to console him. Go. - Not again! So, she has been selectively cheating blind men. They have to be blind... They must believe her stories. Must be ready to give the money she asks. She targets those people. in the name of love... And made a clean sweep. If my instincts are right, even now... she should be cheating someone... Call Priya. Priya... Where are you? You, are one sneaky lady. A small, loveable vampire. You are a feisty flood, in a body that is opaque like glass. You, are one sneaky lady. A small, loveable vampire You are a brilliant player, who plays very casually. Oh, you... Smart, sneaky girl! Oh, you... Smart, sneaky girl! Oh, you... Smart, sneaky girl! Manoj. Based on what you said... After cheating me as Deepa... She didn't take much time to meet you as Ashwini. She has met you even when I was still at the hospital. So, she might've chosen Manoj as the next target after you much earlier. Yes. So we must find out the way she finds these blind people. Yes. Apart from Manoj and I being blind... What is common between us? A blind man is cooking... That made people to come to my restaurant. That gave me publicity. That helped my business as well. Yes. I have even written about him. Manoj... Has there been any newspaper article or TV news about you? I'm not all that famous. I'm just a simple man. She will not come after a simple man. - Exactly! You are successful in your field. You must have gotten some recognition. You must have been received some awards. Or any ceremonies that you have presided over as a chief guest... Something like of that sort? You could have spared the biscuit. Looks like Vijay Awards memento. What is it Varun? Tamilnadu Entrepreneur's Association for the Specially Abled. Hey! Didn't they give you an award last year? This is the chronological list of awardees with the criteria. Check if it has their contact details. Superb. Exclude other disabled persons, now... Only blind members... Details of award winners and those without an award... The members of this list must be her target. These are the ones who got cheated, and ones who are about to get cheated. This is the list. So the job is simple. All we need to do is to contact them, and ask them, if a girl cheated... If we ask them if they've been cheated by a girl... our progress will end there, since half the people would have no idea that they've been cheated, and even if they know, they will not acknowledge it. Keeping aside all of that... Assuming that she is cheating someone on the list right now... The moment we contact him, she will abscond. And after that, we can never find her. So, she should not know that we are after her. But we have to nab her. How is that possible? These guys are in various towns and cities. How can we go everywhere? There is a way. Our student reporters are present everywhere. This is a small assignment for them. Will it work out? Definitely. I'm calling from the Trichy women's prison. Where is she? - Erode. So she has been is caught in our radar! Her name is neither Deepa nor Ashwini. It is Vasundhara. Her native is Trichy. She worked in a jewellery shop there. She duplicated the jewels that don't sell... And stole the original. She was caught red-handed one day. From the May of 2013 to the November of 2013, she was imprisoned at Trichy Jail. Her father is no more. Her mother passed away when she was in prison. Any relatives? One maternal uncle, Ravi. Do you want to see who that is? Look. So it's a well-planned and executed ordeal. But the mastermind behind all of this is Vasundhara. I am not able to, Vikram. You know that my parents are no more. My brother is all I have. Why does he have all these problems! You could have told me in advance. Never-ending problems... Hospital atmosphere... Smell of medicines... Amidst all of this, the happiness that I have left is when I'm away from all these. and spend some time with you. Do you want to me to cry that time also? What do doctors have to say? Before the tumor grows further, a liver transplant has to be done. There is no enough time to wait for a suitable donor. The only option left is to arrange for an organ illegally through an agent. But... It's very expensive. I have lost hope fully! My brother... Don't say that now... I'm here to help you. I'll be there for you. Listen. I'm expecting a payment this week. Give me 2 to 3 days. I'll somehow arrange for the money. No. No, Vikram. - Don't talk like an idiot. This is your brother's life. That's the priority now. You proceed with arrangements for the transplant. We will take care of the rest later. Priya. Thank you so much. A boat load of lies, in those big beautiful eyes of yours. You girl, are an anaconda in the disguise of an innocent child. So... What's the next plan? Erode. Are we going by bus or by train? Go! Go fast. Are you sure it's Vikram? Yes, I'm tracking the number you gave. It's displaying that he is just in the car in front of yours. Varun, what are you doing? - Leave me! I'll kill her! Listen. - Hey! Don't do anything silly. Don't move. Everything will go in vain if you go there now. We can't prove anything with what we have found out so far. Have some patience. She has a new scapegoat. All we have to do is to catch her red-handed. At least we have to know what they are talking Or do you want to sit here and issue parking tickets? Let's do that also. Give me the Bluetooth earpiece. Why? - I'll tell you, give it to me. Wait here. Where... Juice will do? Hello. - Yes, Sadhana. Don't talk. Stay on line. Had you not been here, I would have helpless. How will I ever repay you Vikram? Thank you. Thank you so much. - Hey. Why are you so formal? I'll get the money tomorrow. You focus on the arrangements. Are you done with the hospital arrangements? I came here after paying the advance amount. My brother's friends are with him at the hospital. He is repeatedly asking to meet you. Once the transplantation is done, I will be the first person to meet him. She is cooking a story to rob him. Priya? Are you crying? Thanks for being there, Vikram. Be strong. I'll be there for you. Your company is all I need. Everything will go smoothly. Who is this woman? ! Even I want to fall in love with her! I'll pay. What's your lover Vasundhara saying? Start, start... Go closer! Follow them. You, moron! We have to take the other route now. Move... - Idiot. - We lost them! Panju, call Alphonse. I'm not able to reach him. Bye. - Bye. Who is it? - It's me. Why did you come here? Did anyone see you? I took the backside stairs. None saw me. An important matter. So... Whatever it is, you should have just called me. Varun is here. In Erode. - Varun? The chef from Chennai. So what? He might have come for some official work. No. He has come searching for you. They have seen you at the hotel with Vikram. I heard the girl with him address you as 'Vasundhara.' Then they followed you in a car. I diverted them. I think they know everything. They come targeting us. We shouldn't take further risks. Drop Vikram. Let's go. What? Listen to me. Let's leave this right here and go. This won't work anymore, Vasundhara. You always talk negatively! Aren't you ashamed? People will keep chasing us if we run. They will stop only if we make them run instead. Tomorrow, by this time, we have the money in hand. Nothing should stop that. Understood? You are the reason for all these! We can't get any money from Varun. All his money has been spent on his eye surgery. Everything has messed up. we have to leave empty-handed now! Forget it. We can't expect all our attempts to be successful. One or two might go out of our hands. Okay. What's next? I'll tell you. And listen... Give us our share. What are you saying, uncle? We won't get any money. And you are talking about a share! Look... From spying on Varun and drafting a plan for you, there has been no mistake from our side. If the plan messes up in the last minute... We can't help that. - Hey... You will get your share if the plan go as anticipated. Or else... The loss is for everyone. If you'd properly given our share earlier, why would I demand now? You always take the major share. What we get is just the leftovers. If we don't get even that now, should we beg? Look! I'm the one who gets directly involved. I'm the one who takes the maximum risk. You and him... You will not get caught for sure. If I get caught... I'm done. Don't cry like a kid. Go and see what needs to be done. If Vasundhara gets to know, we will get into trouble. The chances of her knowing are very low. She is with Manoj now. She will not search for us. This is the only opportunity we will get. If we continue like this... She will treat us like dogs forever. We can't gain anything from being like that. Don't think too much. I have planned everything. Talk your girl, Divya. She has to come. She must not disclose these details to anyone. Got it? Where were you? You weren't in Kanyakumari for the past 2 days... Since we had no work here, we had gone to Kerala. What is your Manoj saying? You left me alone with him, and went on a vacation? You said that if we lure Manoj with money and wealth, we can easily trap him. He is least bothered about it. He is sticking to me like a leech and torturing me. What sort of background work have you done? He is in love with me. You have easily dealt many men before this. This guy doesn't even stand a chance. You are being a bit restless. Fetch me some water. Deal with him with some patience. If it doesn't work out... we'll change the plan. Thomas. Get me my handbag from the backseat, please. There is a pen inside. This one? - Open the cap. Thanks. Vasundhara! - I can sense that you both involved in something. What's it? Vasundhara... - Tell me, what is it? It will not take any time for me to poke this into your throat! (stuttering) Ravi drafted the plan. We went to Chennai to meet Varun... Ravi sold all the jewels... we looted from Varun. Ravi... has all the money. Sorry. I'm very sorry. If uncle has taken such a step... I'm the one to be blamed. I thought that if you had too much money, you will spend it all on alcohol and other such nonsense. I have saved a share separately for you. I did for a good reason. But it has gone wrong. Let Manoj's deal get finished. I'll give your fair share. Only if we are united, we can cheat others. If we cheat amongst ourselves, we will not prosper. Got it? Don't share this with uncle. I'll draft a plan for Manoj and let you know. Let's go to the hospital and then leave. In the route from Kanyakumari to Nagercoil, these 3 trees are our mark. You wait here. I'll give a missed call while I come close... You set a scarecrow looking like a human in the middle of the road. I'll hit the scarecrow, and act as though I'd hit a man. Then you have to lie on the road like a dead man. Definitely he will get scared. He will try to run away from the spot. Then you clear the spot, and leave the place. The plan is perfect. Hey, please... Ashwini, what happened? ! What happened? Tell me! Ashwini! What happened? Where are you? Ashwini, where are you? Ashwini! Ashwini, what happened? He's dead, Manoj. Come, Ashwini. Let's go. Let's not stay here. Who is it, Ashwini? Inspector Arivazhagan. Can I come in? Sir, I killed him. I accept my doing. Do you know how many years of jail for a hit-and-run case? Keep quiet, Ashwini. Sir... What should I do? I'll tell you. I'll miss you, Manoj. Be careful. I'll be awaiting your call. Call me soon. A beautiful plotter One who cannot be controlled whatsoever. You are a small secret That hits away with ease the balls life throws at you. A beautiful plotter One who cannot be controlled whatsoever. A chameleon in the disguise of a cute barbie doll. Ravi is nowhere to be seen. His phone is not reachable. Did he inform you? Did he call you? Get me my bag from the backseat. Get it. Oh, you .... Smart, sneaky girl! Oh, you .... Smart, sneaky girl! Oh, you .... Smart, sneaky girl! He will not return. Varun knows everything. If he'd come here to catch me, even after seeing me, why didn't he come to me? Why should he follow me? That simple means, he has no concrete evidence so far. He won't get any evidence hereafter as well. But... The important thing is that he should not reach Vikram at any point. Vikram. - Priya. I guess you can sense that I'm not fine. Priya, don't worry. I am not able to... My mind is not at peace. Tomorrow, everything should go well. The organ dealer should properly arrange everything. The transplant for my brother should go well. With all these things running in my mind, I'm not able to stay normal. I don't think I can stay alone here. If you are with me, I'll feel better. I've been feeling the same way since I dropped you. I shouldn't have left you alone. I'll come there right away. I'll be with you till everything ends well. Okay? Thanks, Vikram. Sir. - Hey! Where had you gone? - My phone fell into the water Can't you pick the phone? Don't shout without knowing what happened. - What happened? Did someone die? - Worse than that! - What? I'm using the phone that fell into a commode. Alphonse... - Look how he is responding... He is screaming at me. - Ignore him. Did you trace their location? - Shall we leave? Okay. AKG service apartment is Vikram's location. Vasundhara's phone shows the same location. They must be together. Let's go. Panju. Panju. 407. - Sir. You seem to be very clear about what you need. I'm the confused one running after you repeatedly. Driver. Start. Go... Hey! She has swept his account clean. Thank you. She did see us, right? Yes. She must have cracked our plan! Everything's gone! Don't unnecessarily get tensed. We have to catch her now. That is important. Okay. Go... Stop. - Why are you stopping the car? Who are you? - Quick. - Sadhana, go. I'm a cop. We are in a hurry chasing an accused! I'm a cop. - This person is seriously injured! It's an important case. At least tell us where the hospital is. It's within a kilometer. Go! Go! Go! Go fast! Is everything okay, Alphonse? Yes. But you keep following them properly. Madam, speed up. Please. What's happening there? Nothing. You keep tracking. He is taking a left. Where are you going? Go straight! We have almost reached the hospital. Okay, go. Idiots! Take a left. - Shut up. We are caught up in some issue. I'll call you again. Hang up. Is your phone in within the network range, Vikram? Not sure. I'll have to check. After Vikram withdraws money from the bank, take the Perundurai route. After reaching the outskirts, Take off of the highway and drive the car into a deserted area. I'll scream and pretend to be panicking. Vikram will get tensed. Hit him then, and push him off the car. We leave with the money like it is a kidnap drama. We both will escape. Driver. Where are you going? - What happened? Not sure. He is taking the wrong route. Where are you going? Go back to the main road. I'm telling you to turn back! Why are you taking the wrong route? Not this hospital. Please go straight. - Are you kidding me? ! Please go straight. - Don't you want to save him? Get down! Get down! Varun, get down. Sadhana, open the door. Go straight. Who are you guys? ! Go straight. Pick up the phone! Varun. Get in, fast! Let's go! Go! Call Alphonse and find out where she is. Panju... Panju... Panju! What happened? Drive to a hospital! Stop the car! Why? - Do as I say! Take Panju to the hospital. And you? I have to catch her. - Are you mad? Hey... You go. Sadhana, go! Vikram, he... Turn the car back! This is Varun. - How many times do I call you! Where are they? - I'm not able to track either of their numbers. Both numbers are switched off. - Okay. Track my number. - Your number? Your number? Why are you talking nonsense? I said 'track my number.' Did you? Yes. On Perundurai road... It is showing some location off the main road You are moving in the right direction. Priya, what happened? Vikram! - Why has he stopped the car? I don't know. - Where are we? I've have no clue. - Priya! Priya! - Leave me! Leave me! - Leave her! Priya, where are you? Priya! Priya! Priya, are you there? Hey, leave her! Priya... Give that. Leave her! Priya! Take all the money you need. Please let her go! Priya... You, are one sneaky lady. A small, loveable vampire. You are a feisty flood, in a body that is opaque like glass. You, are one sneaky lady. A small, loveable vampire. You are a brilliant player, who plays very casually. Oh, you... Smart, sneaky girl! Oh, you... Smart, sneaky girl! Oh, you... Smart, sneaky girl! Leave. Leave that. Do you love her very much? It is said 'Love is blind.' She looted us all, taking advantage of that. Don't get fooled by such women. Tie it properly... What are you doing? By deceiving visually challenged people with love, Vasundhara, who has been charged with financial forgery is being investigated by the police. We chased Vasundhara for many days regarding this case. We are collecting the details of the money lost by the victims. What a man! Thank you very much. Your news has taken over every news channel. You are the pride of our district! Thank you. - Congrats, constable sir. Thank you, Sir. Super, dude! One cop like you in a town is enough to stop fraudsters. Thank you. - You are great! Is it your felicitation ceremony or mine? You have achieved a great thing. You've got all the accolades that I should have for my service for 37 years of service today! Sir... I just did my job. People giving the praise... The photos of the victims have been recovered from Vasundhara's phone. Is that you? That is definitely you! Why would you take a picture that close to her! Dear... She is already jailed. Your anger still not subsided? ! Varun, I'm coming for you. - What's cooking? - My mother's recipe... - guinea-pig pie. - Smells good. You just accept that? It's pecan. How cuckoo do you think my country is? It's come to this... "What's cooking" and "smells good" gets me in trouble? Mom, you're already cooking for tomorrow? Don't make a big deal. My baby's graduating. He won the award for Integrity and Character. "No absents, no tardies, "respectful to students and teachers alike." My school had an award like that, but instead of a sash, that kid got a punch in the mouth. Proud of you, though. Why do all your stories involve a punch in the face, a shifty European, or a broad who's been around the block? That reminds me of when I had to rough up this Italian kid because he didn't want me dating his sister. She was no nun! Jay, can you please take care of the steaks? Sure. On the eve of your big day, we're celebrating with rib eyes, and you and I are gonna have our first scotch. - Really? ! - Yeah. I've been waiting to open a special bottle. Huh. Looks like the mice got into it. Hello, hello? ! Where's my son? - Dad! - Ha ha ha! What, did he hop the gate? You came! - I said I'd come. - I know, but you came! How could I miss it? Manny, the first member of my family - to ever graduate from high school. - Wait a minute. Don't you have a brother in Colombia - who's a doctor? - Yes. He just does orthopedic surgery, no brain or heart. Think of it... tomorrow, I will watch you stride across the stage with a sash, like a rebel's bandolier telling the world "No absents, no tardies." Manny and I were gonna grill some steaks and drink some, um, beers. Thank you, Jay, but if it's all right with you, I would like to take Manny out for a special father-son celebration. - Is that okay? - Ah, sure. I mean, he... made the effort to come. Didn't have time to button his shirt all the way up. But... go ahead. Perfect! The night begins. But first... here. (spritzing) Walk through this. (chuckles) I know that smells terrible, but I've never seen that man get a mosquito bite. (singsong voice) There he is... the graduate. I have one word for you, Luke... plastics. (normal voice) I don't think he knows that movie, honey. Mrs. Dunphy, you're trying to seduce me. Okay, let's just give him the gift, all right? Okay, but first, gather around, everybody! Riddle me this... What has two hands, is wound tight, and has a lot of ticks? Alex? - (laughs) - Good guess, but no. This was made in Switzerland, not in the Disneyland Hotel. Awesome! A watch! We wanted to give it to you early so you could wear it to graduation today. Yeah. It's shockproof. Oh, good. You can show it your grades. - I love it. - What time is it? (voice breaking) Time for my little man to go out in the world and make his mark - like the tiny trouper he used to be. - (sighs) Hold on. I'll be right back. I remember when he was so small, we'd give him a bath in the sink. Here we go. Dad, we really got to talk about the crying. When we graduated, you were a mess, and it was humiliating. Showing emotion is part of being a sexy modern man. Ask anyone who was raised on Alan Alda. I don't think we have to worry about him going anywhere anytime soon. He just installed a mini fridge and a hammock in his room. Mom, Dad, you did all the hard work getting me through high school. You deserve a gift. But what do you get the Cadillac of parents? A Rolls-Royce. Oh, my goodness! How did you afford that? - It was only $2,000. - Huh. Judge Thompson, from the club, - got me into a police auction. - Huh. If I had 40 more dollars, you'd be looking at a speedboat. So, what do you think? It's... it's wow. - Right? ! - I loved the macaroni necklace he made me in first grade, and I even used the perfume he gave me in fifth grade, but this car is so gaudy. People are gonna think I played for the Knicks in the '70s. It's the most beautiful gesture - I have ever seen. - (car door opens) It's 100% class. Hey, Mom, didn't you say you had some errands to run? Oh. I... in a little while. Uh, yeah. But... um, gosh, it's got fur. Wow. It's like driving a lion. Hey, before you go, give us a honk. All right. (horn honks to the tune of "We're in the Money") The horn doesn't help, does it? ♪ ♪ So, I've narrowed it down to Swiss Coffee and Whispering White. But I can't decide between matte or satin. I thought we landed on Eggshell. We decided against Eggshell. W-why don't we just sell the house? Why don't we just paint the floor Eggshell - since that's what I'm walking on. - Okay. - I forgot to give this to you. - Oh, thank you. - Have a good day at school, sweetie. - Bye, sweetie. It's fourth grade. We're all just treading water. What is it? Ah, well, it's... it's from the principal's office. - Is she in trouble? - (door closes) No! She's... smart. - She is? - That's what it says. Are you sure it's not for Lily Rosen? You were at that science fair. She brought that frog back to life! This is for our Lily. T-they're suggesting that she skip fifth grade and go right into middle school next year. "Lily is testing far above her grade level... - What? - "... and we feel she would benefit "from a more challenging curriculum." - (laughs) - Huh. I know! All these years we thought that she was, uh... - God, what's the word? - Different? Peculiar? Odd? - Mean? - So many words. But... she was just really smart. Holed up in her room every day after school, she wasn't... - Plotting to kill us? - I was gonna say daydreaming. They... they want us to tour the school today if possible. - This is so exciting. - I know. - Our little baby's a genius! - (doorbell rings) You know, um, I also skipped a grade. I'm not saying I was a genius, but... Good, because we're getting along so well right now. - Oh, hi. - Hi. - Hey. Mwah! - Hey. - Here you go. Yeah. - Thanks so much. - Hey, guess what. - They want Lily to skip fifth grade. Traditionally, the person who says "guess what" also gets to say the what. Wait a second. Lily's smart? - Look. - I mean, there's proof of that? - Yeah. Right there. - Yes. Huh. They asked Alex to skip a grade, too... - It's not a competition, Claire. - ... but we felt... that it would be too much stress to have her with kids so much older. - Good for Lily! - Yeah. I just always thought she was, you know... - So did we. Yeah. - Us too. Yeah. - How was your big night with Javier? - (groans) I overindulged. - Booze or burgers? - Booze. I drank so much, I had an angry slap fight - with what turned out to be a mirror. - (chuckles) Gloria: Do I hear my Manny? ! When you're hungover, it's like a car alarm. Ay. iHola, papi! Happy graduation day! (party horn blowing, laughs) That's delightful. I need your sash and your gown. So that I can press it. I don't want anyone looking wrinkly. (chuckles) I don't mean you, but it's fun that you're right there. I, uh, left them at school. I'll run over there. Mama, I have a stomachache. And my ankle is broken. (gasps) And you can walk with your broken ankle? I had a cousin got out of Vietnam that way. Whenever Manny's getting a lot of attention, Joe gets very needy... "my head," "my arm." In Colombia, we say, "If it's not bleeding, shut your guinea-pig hole." We actually do eat guinea pig. (beep) Call me back, Dad! It's an emergency! What's wrong? I kind of misplaced my cap and gown and sash. Maybe they're at that strip club you went to last night. Shh! How did you know? - It's all over your face. - My shame? - Glitter. - Ohh. Tell me what happened. We picked up my graduation stuff on the way, and... I don't know. I guess the tassel got my dad thinking. Why didn't you leave them in the car? I didn't want them to get stolen. And I may have taken it out to impress a certain Chyna with a "Y." I think she really liked me. I'm not gonna spoil that one for ya. I graduate in five hours! We'll get you another cap and gown. That sash has been worn by every honoree for decades. I'm not gonna be the one to lose it after it's survived earthquakes and wars and the lunchroom gravy fire of '64! Fine. Where is this place? I don't know! I remember there was a lot of brass and mirrors and loud '80s music. Well, that narrows it down. Wait. Uh, it was by the airport. All right. We'll find it. I'll take you. Don't worry. It'll be our little secret. Thank you, Jay. (sighs) What happened to him? I'm back. We need to talk to you. Sit down. - What's going on? - Don't say anything. - Just watch. - (tender music plays) Baby pictures of Luke? More than baby pictures. You're gonna watch Luke grow up to sappy music. Why are you doing this? To get all the crying out of your system so you don't melt down at the graduation. It's like when you drink too much and your friends get you super-wasted so you never drink again for the rest of the week. (voice breaking) It's the first time he saw snow. Oh, here, Dad. Thank you. (crying) His baby blanket? ! Why? ! (sobs) Hey, nice car, Grey Gardens! It was a gift from my son! Ugh. What the hell? (sighs) (tapping on glass) (muffled) Rawrrr! You call that a tiger? R-a-a-a-awrrr! _ And we're very proud of our state-of-the-art computer lab. It's so weird... every time I step into a middle school, I feel like I'm 14 (shudders) ag-a-in. That... was on me. He wasn't gonna do anything. - How much is his therapy costing again? - (sighs) We used to think that was snark. - Now we know it's wit. - Yeah. Uh, Mr. Peterson, we just want to be certain that this environment's the right fit for Lily. We have a lot of experience dealing with accelerated students. But if Lily really is gifted, then maybe there's another path... private schools. Although, I do love the diversity of a public school. - On the other hand, I do wonder... - Okay, you know what? We're just deciding if she's gonna skip a grade. We're not charting out the next 20 years of her life. Well, no, choices have consequences. If we don't do this right, she could lose all interest in school and drop out, and the next thing you know, we're supporting her and her deadbeat boyfriend and our savings are drained, and then we have to sell the house! Okay, why do all your meltdowns have to do - with us selling the house? - I'm just saying... - We're gonna give you guys a minute. - Okay. Lily, do you want to see the computer lab? This feels like a good time to tell you I'm adopted. Maybe Claire's right. Maybe it's too much pressure for her to skip a grade. I did it, and I'm fine. Uh-huh. I'm sorry. Um... Hey, w-what does "uh-huh" mean? Well, perhaps you're not the... best advertisement for skipping a grade. So, wait. You're afraid Lily's gonna turn out like me? I'm just saying that maybe you skipping a grade put too much pressure on you, and it exacerbated your neurotic tendencies, and now you can't even make a tiny, little decision about, you know... paint. Wow! I can... Y-you... I don't have to just st... Oh, you think you are so s... You can't decide how to storm off, can you? (exhales sharply) I am... (somber music plays) (crying) Luke's first haircut. He gave me bangs. - Well, that's it. - (music shuts off) Hopefully you're all cried out. You remember when he hid that mouse trap under the pillow to catch the tooth fairy? (sobs) Dad, we got to start getting ready for the graduation. Yeah, so maybe splash some cold water on your face and wrap it up. Do you guys remember that "Luke Loves Daddy" rap? (rapping) ♪ My name is Luke Dunphy ♪ ♪ And I'm here to say ♪ ♪ I love Daddy ♪ (sobs) I thought you said he'd be cried out by now. Dad, please, you really got to stop. That's what he said when I was the tickle monster! (sobbing loudly) Ohh! (sobbing continues) Mama, now my tooth hurts. Well, I guess you can't have cake today. What if it's my leg? Claire, I guess I'm picking up the cake myself, because you didn't answer my messages. Claire: Grawr! Gr-a-a-awr! Hey, Claire, are you having fun at the Gym Town? As a matter of fact, I am. This is my new friend, Charlie. He loves dinosaurs, and tomorrow we're both gonna have pink eye. Hi, Charlie! Can you go and find the negligent adult that brought you here? Oh, do you have to go so soon? He smells so good! Yeah, you're like two sniffs away from a felony. (sighs) What is going on? I gave Phil such a hard time for being too emotional about Luke's graduation, but I think it's hitting me more than I want to admit. I know. It happens so fast. Luke used to love coming here. Today he gave us a Rolls-Royce. The one outside is yours? I thought I was gonna be able to meet Mr. Burt Reynolds! You're lucky. When Manny goes, you still have Joe. Yeah, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. We just have face it... They're not boys anymore. They're men. Luke has a job, and he's dating. He can serve on a jury. God, that's terrifying. I know. Manny ditched us last night to go drinking. He thinks I don't know, but I know. He smelled like a sweaty peppermint. I saw the pictures that he texted Luke from the strip club. Is that where Javier took him? Oh. You did not know that. I'm sorry. But it... it looked like one of the classier establishments. The girl that was sitting on Manny's lap had on a really cute top, at... at least in the first picture. The one time that I thought that he was going to be a good father, and he teaches Manny how to be a dog! I'm gonna kill him! Hey, look at me! I'm about to talk to a stranger! (exhales sharply) (slow rock music plays) Oh, yes. This is it. This is the one. Ugh. It wasn't this depressing last night. The lunch scene in a strip joint is like a refugee camp with less hope. Excuse me. Uh, my friend left some personal belongings here last night. Anything left behind... - goes in the lost and found. - There we go. Thank you. There's a jacket... glasses... hairpiece, I hope... - What about my stuff? ! - Nope. There's a lot of wedding rings in here, though. Sir, we're in a big hurry. Have you seen a cap and gown and sash? Man: Gentlemen, put your hands together for... Val the Dictorian! (electronica version of "Pomp and Circumstance" plays) She definitely looks like she knows stuff. (sighs) Credit where credit is due. She put together a pretty solid act in very little time. Can you just please help me get my stuff back? Miss? Miss? Val? Hi. Heh. Here's the thing. The gown, everything... He actually left them here last night. Manny: I was having a tête-à-tête with Chyna. She probably mentioned me. Hope I didn't lead her on. See, I'm going to college soon, and I... and I don't want any loose ends. I'm in the middle of my act. Sure, but the thing is he's got to get it back, so if you could strip a little more in our direction... I'm such a screw-up. Huh. "Integrity." It should say "Perverted Schnapps Maniac." (sniffs) Oh, God. It smells like Miss Dictorian's perfume. I can't wear this. I'm a fraud. No absents? Oh, I've got one big absent... my soul. Manny, you've spent your whole life trying to be perfect, and this is throwing you for a loop... I get it. But if you just look around this room, you'll realize people make mistakes. You could do way worse than you did last night, and it ain't gonna change a thing. So my advice... try to be a little easier on yourself. (man wolf-whistling) Thanks, Jay. Oh, God, there's Chyna. Pretending to ignore me! She's as transparent as her pumps. - (applause) - James Earl Carter. Have you seen my booboo? Ohh! Poor baby! Mwah. Vice principal: Nicole Ingrid Cortez. (applause) Can you please move over? I have to kill someone. Vice principal: Charles Mark Coleson. I hope that you had fun last night. Oh, I did. It was a magical time. - Lucy Coleson. - I can't believe that you... Me either. Look at our son over there, eh? - He's perfect. - Yeah, and then you come along - and you expose him to all this... - Me? I'm just... I mean, what gives him the right to‐‐to touch you like that? ‐ Like what? ‐ You know what I mean, like he owns you. ‐ Hey, hey, I'm here with you, and this is where I want to be, okay? Please come back to bed. ‐ It is not okay. ‐ It is not okay. It's never gonna be okay. Ah. I got it, okay. I just‐‐ I got it. It's... ‐ For you. ‐ Last night... ‐ We all made mistakes. Myself included. I got us into this financial mess, and when I had an opportunity to help get us out, I, uh... I‐I handled it poorly. I‐I handled it poorly. But I've been thinking and making alternate plans. There are people we can reach out to to call on before we let the counsel know. ‐ I could turn you in, for Silas. ‐ You could. You won't. Because then it's over. It's all over. It's all over. ‐ How do you do it? How do you live with yourself, Cal? I mean, the truth. And not what you preach. Because I'm having a really hard time. ‐ It's hell. Um... It's a living, waking hell. I'm never without regret, much as it goes against everything we teach. Much as it goes against everything we teach. Um... It's‐‐just always, always with me. All I can do is‐‐ is try to make up for it, but I... That's why this place, I didn't want to let it go b‐‐ Come here. I want to show you. Source of Light, we turn to you. We turn to you. Help us to purify our spirits. Forever bound to one another in Light, a circle of communion. Let the bonding of these hands be a symbol for the bond they have to each other. Steer us from the darkness. Free us from earthly cares. Fill our hearts with love. And help us become... A perfect vessel of your Truth. So that we may continue the climb. So it is witnessed. So it will be. So it will be. ‐ * If this is a dream * * If this is a dream * * Let me keep on sleeping * * I am on my way now * * I am on my way now * I don't understand. I told you. He's more use alive than dead. More use to who? I can't tell you that. The government gave Carlos Mejia, the man who gunned me down in cold blood, a deal? Yes. And you let that happen. I didn't have a choice, Cali. You didn't have a choice. That doesn't sound like you. [Phone ringing] [Sniffles] [Phone ringing] - Mills. - You need to come in. - What's going on? - Tell you when you get here. - No, now. - They're moving Mejia. I got to go. [Dramatic music] ♪ [Cuffs clacking] ♪ Go. ♪ Patch in NSA, NRO, Langley. Whoever can get us full satellite cover the quickest. - What? - They're telling me FBI is lead on this now. Once we deliver Mejia to them, we're relieved. Says who? - No, don't answer that. - The White House. ♪ You're up early today. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. You know where the lid is? Clean. - Thanks. - Mm-hmm. Got an emergency meeting at the office. Some IT panic. Bob Landers called. - You want me to make you something? - I can grab a bagel - on the way. It's okay. - No, take some fruit. Right. George Salt, did you just roll your eyes at me? - No... - Yeah, you did. On the inside. What are you trying to say? Oh, that I love you, and that I want you to live forever. Love you too. One more kiss, and make it a good one. ♪ Here. - I'll see you tonight. - Mm-hmm. ♪ Drive safe, baby. We have been ordered to hand over Carlos Mejia to the FBI because somehow Mexico has found out we have him, - and now they want him back. - So we're just gonna hand him over? Wait a minute, how the hell did they find out we have him? - I don't know yet. - Did anyone else know, - apart from us? - No, no. They did not. So we've been compromised. Our security's been breached. That's a possibility we have to consider. - Yes, absolutely. - We can't let this happen. What do you suggest we do, pop a nine-mil in the back of Mejia's head while we still got him? Oh, I know, how about we just send Mexico some more American jobs instead? What if the cartel are behind this? - Pulling the strings... - Of the Mexican Government? - You don't think that's possible? - I think you're reaching because you don't want your sister's murderer slipping through your grasp. Which I totally get, by the way. I feel you, bro. But our hands are well and truly tied here. Where and when are we handing him over to the Feds? We're still waiting for the final instructions from Quantico. - Sometime in the next 24 hours. - This has the cartel all over it. - He's not wrong to think like that. - No. No, he's not. Okay, I'm gonna ask this once and only once. Has anyone in this room, at any time, for whatever reason, told anyone else about our incarceration of Carlos Mejia? [Tense music] ♪ [Sighs] ♪ [Pounding] ♪ - Oh. Whoa. - Come in. Sorry, I was at a client breakfast. I came as quickly as I could. What's up? - [Sighs] - What is it? Did you tell anyone about Carlos Mejia? - Excuse me? - Please, I don't have the time. - I just need to know... - Tell anyone what - about Carlos Mejia? - Anything I told you. - No, I have not. - You sure? Yes. - Bryan, I'd never... - Well, they found out somehow. - Who found out? Found out what? - Mexican Government. - Okay, wait. Slow down... - Probably the cartel too. And you think that's because I said something to someone? - Not even accidentally? - Like at the hair salon or something? That's not what I meant. I thought we understood each other. Respected... No. Actually, I thought it was quite a bit more than just that. I am the one person who understands what you've gone through at the hands of this monster Mejia. And now you're accusing me of betraying you? - Not betraying me. - So what, then? I had to ask, Asha, and I know you know why, - so don't act like you don't... - I'm not confused. I'm upset. You immediately suspect me. People at your job knew too. They keep secrets for a living. You trust them more than me. I trust you enough to be honest about this. Look at this place. Locks, cameras everywhere. You obviously think someone is watching you. But as soon as something bad happens, you point the finger at me? How do you know you haven't been hacked or broken into? Have you even considered that? ♪ [Dramatic music] ♪ _ [Grunting] ♪ [Sighs] ♪ Oh, my God. What is it? It's a bug. Probably one of many. They've been watching us. Who? Mejia. His people. [Sighs] Okay. This is getting creepy. I, uh... I think I'm just gonna go now. Asha, no. Look, I'm sorry I blamed you. It's gone too far, Bryan. I don't know what you're doing or who you are. - Yes, you do. You know me. - No. I can't do this. Sorry. I... I don't feel safe here. I don't know you. You've never really let me in. I work for a Government Intelligence Organization. We report directly to the President. The President? Our mission is to keep the country and her safe by any means necessary. Who else knows this about you? Just the people at work. And now you. ♪ [Phone buzzing] Salt. Marie? Marie, are you there? George? Listen very carefully. We have your husband. Do you want him to live? - Do you want him to live? - What? Yes. Yes. You're gonna do exactly what we tell you. Or George will die. ♪ _ At 0440 hours tomorrow, FBI and ODNI will be leaving this facility with Carlos Mejia and transporting him to US Prison Lee in Pennington Gap, Virginia. [Engine humming] [Tense music] ♪ We must assume the treat of ambush or interception is high. The move to the prison is in phases, the final one being a ground approach along a classified route at a classified time of departure. As of right now, FBI will be taking lead. The ODNI will be in support and will provide backup. FBI Deputy Director Martello is now in overall command. We will be taking local roads to the destination. And due to the highly-sensitive nature of this assignment, state and local law enforcement have not been notified. We're keeping this under the radar as much as possible. Lean and mean. Any questions, feel free to talk to the special agent in charge on this operation... Marie Salt. ♪ [Metal rattling] [Sighs] [Engines rumbling] Hey, partner. - Walt. - You okay? - Yeah, why? - I don't know, just seem - uncharacteristically... - Just staying Frosty, as should you. - I'm fine. - Copy that. - Weapons check in ten. - I'll be there. Thank you. Agent Salt? Bryan Mills. You got a minute? I know who you are. I've been briefed. You also need to know I think this whole move - is a cartel play to free Mejia. - Based on what? I don't have the link, but I know Mejia. I think they're gonna try and take him. I appreciate your concern, but we've gone over this with white gloves... There's no cartel link here. Or we haven't found it yet. They probably got someone - in here right now with eyes on us. - Mills, I brought in four of my best agents, and you brought in yours. - We are prepped for all eventualities. - I'd also like to see the - convoy configuration and route maps - All those will be made - available tomorrow morning... - But if we vet them now, - we can still make changes. - ODNI is here to support the FBI, not the other way around. I understand that, ma'am, but we do have a history with the detainee. Which is why you're no longer responsible for him. Maybe if you'd followed protocol, we wouldn't have to move him. If we'd followed protocol, we never would've captured him to start with. Maybe you should just sit this one out. - I want to be in the van with him. - No, no. See, I understand there's a lot of personal history here. Look, you need to trust me, Special Agent Salt. No, you need to trust me. Stay tuned. [Dramatic music] ♪ - You're leaving. - Headed back to the office. I'll monitor everything from there. You got to call this off. Unless there is a new, specific threat, there is... Right now, the threat is us. We're making every mistake in the book. Marie Salt is a highly-decorated agent. Apparently, she's one of their best. She is not taking this seriously enough. You've been ordered to be here in a supportive role. Do you understand what that means? I'm not gonna stand by and keep my mouth shut when we're doing exactly what the cartel wants. You know they want us to move Mejia so they can take him. [Sighs] You can't win this on a theory, Bryan. I have to play the cards I've been dealt. ♪ Then get me in to see him. At least let me put a contingency into play. [Coughing] [Toilet flushing] Jesus. Fine, my ass. This is the women's bathroom, Walt. [Suspenseful music] You want to tell me what's going on? It must have been something I ate, I... Something you ate. And now I... I feel better. - I think. - What'd you eat? - What's gotten into you? - I know you, Marie. And I know when something's up. And you know I'm gonna dig it out of you sooner or later. Lamb. I ate lamb. Now, do you mind? A little privacy, please? ♪ [Door closing] ♪ You're gonna do exactly... You're gonna do exactly what we tell you. Or George will die. ♪ How are you, Bryan? Hmm? ♪ I want you to know, whatever this is, whatever you've got going on, I'll be there to stop it. ♪ Can I tell you something? ♪ Come closer. This is, uh, personal. Private. ♪ You know, this has only been about you and me. It's only ever been about you and me. And there's one thing I know for certain. That I will never rest until my son, who you killed, is avenged. And you cannot... You will not... Let go of the need to avenge your sister. You know, when I fired the first bullet, she looked at me, confused. Like I was some random man with a gun. So I told her, "This is for your brother. And his sins." ♪ And in that moment... She understood. ♪ I could see it in her eyes. ♪ So then I fired the second bullet. [Silenced gunshot] [Heavy breathing] - You're a coward. - You failed her, Bryan. How does that feel? ♪ [Deep breath] Your life ended the moment you took hers. ♪ You will always be my prisoner. ♪ [Leaves cracking] ♪ - Agent Salt. - Keep your voice down. - Thanks for meeting me. - You found the problem? Yeah. Me. - What do you mean? - I have vital information for you. ♪ My husband's been taken. They want me to divert Mejia to an airstrip. They're going to fly him out. If I don't, they're going to kill my husband. - You know they will. - You got to go to Martello - No. They'll be watching for that. - Well, they're gonna be - watching me too. - That's why I put distance between us. You could have gone to Hart, or anyone. Why come to me? Because you know. You know who we're dealing with. ♪ Yeah. I know. ♪ Please get my husband back. They want Salt to divert Mejia to an airstrip. They're gonna fly him out at 1400 hours. If we abort the transport, Salt's husband dies. Letting it continue, it's a big risk. There's not a lot of upside. You said it yourself. She's a decorated Agent. She's dedicated her life to the Bureau. Mejia's capture cost hundreds of lives, and thousands of man hours. We put him out there, we risk losing it all. Okay, no one's personal situation can justify that. We know what their plan is. So we let Salt keep going with it. We make the cartel believe everything's going their way. Escort Mejia right up to the hand-over if we have to. And in the meantime, we look for George. The minute we grab him, we pull out Mejia. John, you want to chime in here? I agree with Bryan. That's why I'm standing here. You're on Mejia with Dave and Rem. Do not let him out of your sight. Bryan and Scott, the two of you go find George Salt. - When does the cartel plane touch down? - Six hours. [Suspenseful music] _ ♪ Listen up, everyone. Our ODNI friends and I are in the van with Mejia. FBI team will be in the follow vehicle... Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought FBI was taking Mejia. No, I want you guys focused on possible external threats. Let them do the babysitting. You're supposed to be lead on this. Don't let them push you around. They're not. You ready? ♪ Come on, let's go. ♪ Come on. ♪ Apparently George Salt left for work early yesterday morning for an emergency meeting, - some kind of technical issue. - We accessed his cell. IM from Bob Landers, company Vice President, asked to meet him at 7:00 a.m. Landers and George Salt. Both fellow MIT grads. No priors, no history of conflict - in their texts or emails. - In other words, nothing there. - What about the kidnappers? - A couple of witnesses caught a van parked in the parking garage around 6:25. - Security camera caught this. - But that's it. Zero on the driver or the vehicle. Okay, so this was a textbook takedown. They knew exactly where the security camera was - and where George Salt would be. - We traced the call Salt got. - Burner phones. - This guy Bob. What time did he get to the office? - 7:20. - Bob Landers set him up. [Dramatic music] ♪ [Indistinct chatter] ♪ Hi, I'm here to see Bob Landers. He's in a staff meeting right now. ♪ He's on the move. Have a nice day. ♪ Oh! We know you set up George Salt. Got him to work early for a meeting that didn't exist. Listen, they said if people start to ask questions, not to say anything, and if I did, they would kill me. And George. Please, they're watching. - Who? - I don't know exactly, but they are. - No one's seen you here. - Look, you don't understand... Look, we got to move fast before someone does see you. - Where's your car? - It's in the lot down the street. ♪ Okay. You're gonna walk there. Calm. Like you're going to a meeting. Gonna drive to 1220 Summer Street. Park on level four. We'll be there. We'd bring you in now, but if they see you with us, it'll be bad for George. [Sighs] Get walking. [Panting] Easy. ♪ - Oh, whoa... - Just come quietly. - I told you not to talk to them. - I didn't say anything, I swear. [Phone ringing] _ - Federal Agent. - Drop your weapon. - Back off. - Let him go. Ah! [Grunting] ♪ [Gunshot] Zero, this is Victor. Suspect down. Shooter is in a black SUV. Heading west on Patton. - And the suspect? - [Sighs] Suspect's dead. I say again: dead. [Sighs] ♪ [Heavy breathing] ♪ - Riley. - I need you to access a phone. GPS locate the last ten numbers called. Texting the number now. ♪ - This is Hart. - Any news? Working on some leads. Anything else? Possible location? No. Not yet. - You there? - Yeah, yeah. You'll be approaching the diversion point in less than five minutes. You ready? Have you... Have you ever thought about never seeing the only person you'd ever really loved again? Marie, we're playing every angle here to find George. We're doing everything we can. Okay. Diversion point any minute now, copy that. [Suspenseful music] ♪ [Phone buzzing] - This is Salt. - You told them. Your instructions were to tell no one. - Look at your screen. - [Phone dings] ♪ _ [Panting] Marie, what's happening? Help me! You got to help... _ ♪ - Mills, you find anything? - I lost a suspect. - They killed him before we could... - I should never have trusted you. Salt? What? About you. They're gonna kill him. Not while you have Mejia. You promised, you promised you wouldn't tell anyone. What the hell have you done? We're getting somewhere. You have to trust me. He's gonna die, isn't he? I am the only chance you've got. If he dies, I... I don't think I... I'm not gonna let that happen. But we don't have a lot of time. So I got to go now. ♪ Riley GPS-ed the last ten numbers called on that dead guy's phone. Seven of them went to a phone in a mall in Arlington. [Sighs] Never gonna bring him to a mall. There's too many people. - There's too many cameras. - Not this one. Never got their zoning approved by the city. Still an old warehouse. ♪ They're coming up to the diversion point now. Zoom in on the tracker. ♪ _ Follow vehicle down. Follow vehicle is down. Something's not right here. - Go, Dave and I will cover Mejia. - Let's go. You okay? Yeah. Is anybody hurt? - What the hell happened? - I don't know. The steering locked up. The thing veered off the road. - Can you get it started? - No, it's shut down. It's not going anywhere. I'm calling Martello. Uh, we're on radio silence He's right, we don't want to give away our position. I think you really need to talk to him. Just to play it safe. Jenkins. Let me handle Martello. You come with me. The rest of you, stay here, and wait for a recovery vehicle. ♪ Entering suspect location. Stand by. - What's going on? - Nothing. ♪ - Whoa. - Cuff him. Marie, what are you doing? I'm sorry. The cartel has George. And I need to take you out of play for your own good. Make sure those other guys don't make any calls. Jenkins is gonna ride in the van with us. ♪ Exfil point's up here. - Plane's 15 minutes out. - 16. I just picked up the plane. You need to see this. Tail winds pushed up the ETA. The plane will touch down in six. Get me Bravo. ♪ [Phone buzzing] - Yeah? - You've got three minutes, and I'm pulling Mejia, - calling the whole thing off... - No. We're at the location. Situation just changed. Three minutes is all you have left, Bryan. Okay. Wait out. [Dramatic music] ♪ ♪ Zero, this is Alpha. Arriving at the landing strip now. ♪ Roger. Copy. You love your husband very much. - Right? - Don't talk to me. ♪ The only one who can save him is me. Get me on the plane, and you'll see him again. You can... I give you my word. ♪ Yeah. Copy that. Stand by. - Hart. She's pulling Mejia. - No, no. You can't. - The plane's landing in four minutes. - Okay, get me Hart. We'll meet them at... - They'll see through that. - We've got to try. - They'll negotiate. - We can't lose him. My husband's a good man. You can't do this. George is gonna die. They see this is a con. - They're gonna kill him. - We got to go. It's not just him at risk. It's you too. And, by the way, the FBI, so let's get real here. I'm not going to give up on my husband. Salt, at the end of the day, you're a Federal Agent. We do not negotiate with terrorists, and I'm sorry, but you know that. ♪ Aborting now. Pack it up. ♪ Do not let your husband die for them. ♪ [Plane engine humming] It's time to move. Salt, get in the van now I'm going to go get George myself. Salt, stop. Think about what you're doing. [Dramatic music] ♪ Line her up. ♪ [Engine slowing] ♪ She's a Federal Agent. It's Salt. She's got Mejia. We have a situation. I want Mejia alive at all costs. Everyone else is expendable. ♪ Give me back my husband, or I will take him down. ♪ [Gunfire] ♪ Give me back my husband! Or I will take him down. ♪ If you think I won't do it, I will. ♪ [Bullets ricocheting] ♪ Drop it. Give us Mejia! Or we'll put a bullet in your husband's head. Right now! [Tense music] I said drop it. ♪ [Grunts] ♪ Zero, Bravo. We have the hostage. Say again: we have the hostage. [Phone buzzing] George. We have him. He's safe. - He's alive! - You believe that? They always lie. He's got him. Trust me. Salt, your husband is safe. Ask him! Ask him what we had for dinner at our wedding. ♪ You didn't have a wedding. You eloped. [Sobbing] Fried clams at the beach! [Gunfire] [Dramatic music] ♪ [Coughs] ♪ Salt. I got you. I got you. ♪ [Coughing] Mejia. Where is he? ♪ My wife. I want to talk to her. Is she okay? Yes. - [Phone buzzing] - You're a lucky man. Mills. Mejia's gone. ♪ Get me a helo. ♪ Doctor says six weeks. Finally get to spend some time at home. Me too. Yeah, they're probably gonna suspend me. - Sorry. - I'm not. It's going to be just us now. [Sighs] - I love you. - Love you too. I got to go. Uh, Mills. - I just wanted... - I need a truck. - What's going on? - Right now. [Suspenseful music] Donnie, get me a vehicle. How do you know where he is? Tracker. ♪ I want him to die. I know. ♪ [Helicopter whirring] Please be advised, suspect is armed and dangerous. Maintain coordinate positions as key locations until further notice. Maintain a state of high alert. - Let me say again: high alert. - [Gunshot] Got the results on that phone record. Please tell me there's something that leads us to Mejia. Possibly. Elena Morales. She grew up in Mexico. San Cristóbal de las Casas. Same town as Mejia. - Get me an address. - 26 Tivoli College Park. - Oh. - Hi. Got your rug. Where do you want it? Oh, uh, you must have the wrong address. Uh, no, I've got 28 Tivoli. Yes, but that's not my... Ah! [Screaming] [Dramatic music] [Screaming] ♪ [Grunting] [Screaming] Elena! [Gasps] ♪ [Radio chatter] ♪ Hands. ♪ - [Speaking Spanish] - Get out. [Suspenseful music] ♪ At the residence now... - [Radio chatter] - What's going on, Officer? Neighbors heard a woman screaming. Looks like some kind of fight. Oh, my God. ♪ I'm gonna go check out number 26. Call this in. ♪ Where are we going? Federal prison. Taking you myself. You ever think about those who you killed? Like my son? Or is that too many for you to remember? I think about my sister. ♪ [Phone buzzing] You might want to answer that. [Phone buzzing] Or not. [Phone buzzing] Mills. Bryan? Help me. [Whimpering] Help me... [Dramatic music] ♪ [Grunting] If she dies, you die. I die, and I get to see my son. Call them off. ♪ [Grunts] ♪ You... You really want to see her die too, huh? If I let you go, she dies anyway. I see how you could think that way. How my death means more to you than her life. But so long as I live, she lives. She's my new insurance policy. ♪ Take your phone back. You're going to need it. Talk soon. ♪ [Engine turning over] ♪ Well, here's to a summer of endless possibilities then, hey? I'll drink to that. I don't think you're ready for someone new, George. You would never be a huge mistake. But we might have made the mistake of screwing up a great friendship. (CAR HORN) Oi! Get a room! I know you and I are history. I just hope that we can reconnect on some level. Maybe even be friends. Yes! (MUSIC PLAYS) I believe in you, Fiona. (MUSIC PLAYS) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Here, boy. There we go. Come on, Barry. (PHONE RINGS) Constable John. Sorry? There's a what? "without the classic distraction maneuver "known as the 'bait and switch.' "The key is picking the appropriate unsuspecting target." So we're really gonna do this? I mean, I want to find her, man. I really do, but... this guy and his family? - That'll make us just as bad as... - Ava. You know, one of those books said you can't cheat an honest man. Yeah, I read that. I still don't get it. - Hey, thank you. - You're welcome. It's like there are people who set themselves up to be taken because they're, you know, greedy or selfish or mean. You know what? We need some ground rules. We need, like, a code of conduct for how far we're willing to go. Like you said, we can't just steal from normal people, right? You know what else? Bushido, the samurai code... the true warrior must hold that loyalty, courage, and honor are important above all else. Nice. - No old people. - Sure. Yeah. No kids. No people who look, you know, sad. Yeah. No nice moms or dads... or anyone who's limping. No babies. What does that leave us? Hey, lady... next time get both hips replaced. Assholes. Excuse me there, bud. You know, I seem to have gotten a little bit lost. Maybe you could help me out here. Sure. I'm tourist information today... where you going? So we are heading, um, to the east, and we need a... I'm trying to get on the 29 here. Yeah, that's where your finger's pointing... - Right there, the 29. - That's right. But I-I can't figure out how to get to it. See right out there where it says turn left to the 29? That's how you get to the 29. Okay, that would make sense. What? What are you two zibs doing? You should be more careful with this, sir. What the hell? Are you trying to lift my card, asshole? Hey, he's not an asshole. You're the asshole. My God, an American eagle. Go, go, go! He's coming! - I know! I know! - Go, go, go! - I'm going, I'm going! - Go, go! - Okay! - Turn, turn, turn! - I'm turning! - God! That did not go well! I know! I was there! His big hobby, his passion is darts. - Yeah. - No, he's in a darts league that competes every Friday at a pub called St. James's Well. Am I the only one who thinks there's something off about this job? The only thing off is Maddie's focus. Give me a break, Max. Maddie, I want to make something very clear. This job happens to be of special interest to the Doctor. Max is just freaking out 'cause I had coffee and talked to some guy at a coffee shop. No, it's the way that you were talking to him that concerns me. You know what, Sal? Why don't you tell her about Tulsa? - Max... - No, tell her, Sal. - She needs to know. - What? What happened in Tulsa? It was almost ten years ago, I guess. We'd just started working for the Doctor. It was a... a long game... a real-estate scam... and about the hottest summer you can imagine, so I went to the movies a lot. And this guy was... sitting a few seats from me one night, and he offered me some Junior Mints. His name was Martin. And he was... just about the sweetest guy I ever met. We just seem to fit. You know, sometimes you get a taste of real life, and it seems pretty all right. You start daydreaming, you know... about getting out for good. So what happened? Well, let's just say the Doctor sent me a message... a little reminder that anybody not in the life, not like us, is a liability. And if you care about those people, you know... you have to be careful. And sweet Max... was there to put me back together, weren't you, Maxie? Anything for you, Sal. You know that. All right, I get it. But this guy at the coffee shop... he's a nobody. You don't have to worry. Really, I'm on it. Want something? Yeah. I'll have a Manhattan, please. Keep the change. I need a little favor. You know what? Put it on our tab. - Hi. - No, thanks. Why not? If I let you, it'll cost me more. All right, all right, fair enough. How about if I can get you to say the word "seventeen"? I bet I can get you to say "seventeen," and if I do, you have to join us. - You're on. - All right. - What's two plus two? - Four. - Four plus four? - Eight. - Eight plus eight? - Sixteen. See, I told you I could get you to say "sixteen." - No, you said "sevente"... - See? What? You walked right into that one. Okay, I'm impressed. All right, you can buy me a drink now. - All right. - What's going on here? Mr. Heller. Gary, you... know this one? Ms. Keyes works for me. Really? Give your HR person a bonus. All right, all right. What are you doing here? I live right around the corner. Just getting to know the city. Is this a good spot? Well, you have to go where the darts are if you're in a darts league. Big darts game tonight? Match. It's called a darts match. Big darts match tonight? You know, the game of darts goes back to the Battle of Agincourt in the 15th century. The first dartboard was actually the cross section of a tree. Wow. You're a real enthusiast. I kind of like history in general. I like the perspective on why things happen. Never been my favorite subject. I do love old movies, like "Casablanca." That's kind of history, right? Ms. Keyes, you are a breath of fresh air. Call me Saffron. We're not at work. Gary, more vodka shooters before I take your money. Your turn, big guy. No, no, no, no, no, no, my turn, my turn. And, um, when I come back, will you teach me how to shoot a dart? Okay, but are you sure you don't want the reigning champ to teach you? Positive. I imagine Gary knows what he's doing. Vodka, vodka, water. Drink them under the table. Okay, okay, okay. There's a lot of money on that table... I'm nervous. No, no, I got your covered. Don't worry about it. Don't believe him! Gary's not exactly on a winning streak. Ignore that. Just ignore that. Focus just on this. Breathe. Just breathe. Do it! Aah! My gosh! In your face! That is bullshit! No, no, no, that is such bullshit. Let's go again, double or nothing. Double or nothing, let's go again. - Let's go again. - Don't be a sore loser, Freddy. I think I better quit while I'm ahead. Hey, Gary is a pussy, okay? You don't have to be a pussy. And he's, like, so cranky. He's so cranky. Ever since Patty left him for the pool boy... Keep talking, Freddy. Keep talking. - Jesus, calm down. - Keep talking. - Apologize to the lady. - I'm sorry! I'm sorry! - Apologize to the lady. - Relax, man! Gary, Gary, can we please just get out of here? Please? What the hell? Sorry I lost my temper back there. No, it's okay. You were just defending my honor. I don't feel so good. Get you a glass of water. I know people say you're a jerk, but... they just don't know the real you. I'm just gonna put this here. You're gonna need that. And a truckload of aspirin. Get some sleep. Hello? So this barbecue on Saturday... - Yes? - I was just wondering if there was gonna be a smoked brisket involved. Wait. So you'll come based on the meat? Yes. Yes, that's the deciding factor. Done. So what's up for tonight? Not much. Just a quiet evening at home. You? Not a lot... just getting my daily dose of jazz. You hear it? Love that one. Crank it up. You've got something right here on your... - Me? - What is that... ketchup? What? - Okay, not bad. - You felt it? A bit, a bit. - Okay, my turn. - All right. Taxi! - I'm so sorry. - No worries. Ooh, man, only a slight breeze that time. - Yeah? - Yeah, it's getting better. All right. Ready for some driving? - Yeah, let's do it. - Let's go. I could use a little "Viva La Vida" right about now. Okay, how about this? From now on, whoever has the wallet controls the radio. Deal, baby. Let the game begin. What the... How'd you do that? - Thank you. - Son of a bitch. "At the bottom of every frozen heart, there is a drop or two of love..." Till death do us part. "Just enough to feed a birds." This better work. - It's sourdough, right? - Yep. Here you go. Thanks. It's all old folks. Not an asshole in sight. Should we just go? You know... Hey, does "wheat" sound anything like "sourdough"? You know, put a nickel in it, honey. Assholes trump old people. Good amendment. It's a living document. Mustard dip. Ready? The mustard dip... a simple yet effective small-time con. - You know the secret to making toast? - Pick a mark with a calm, - easygoing temperament. - You toast it! Next, casually spill a condiment of your choosing on your unsuspecting mark. Here, let me give you a hand. Now, in one simple, fluid motion, remove your mark's jacket. This should be done without effort or aggression. Finally, extract the wallet just as your partner appears to seamlessly abscond with it. Perfect in elegance and simplicity. This man stole my wallet! Well done. Whoa. No, he did not. Here... It's here. I found it. It's on the floor. You should be nicer. Eat a D, Nancy. Sorry about that. Dude, that was so embarrassing, man. Dude, we suck. Hey. I took it right out before I gave it back. I knew we had it, man! - Shh! - Way to go, dude. Ooh, gets you all... adrenaline, endorphins. - I know. - It's like a drug. I know. Hey, you think this is how she felt when she took us? I mean, what if we don't even recognize her? She might not recognize us. We need to get cleaned up, man. We're less than an hour away. Going out for a few hours, Viv. - See you later. - Okay, have good day. - Good. You're still here. - Hello, Mr. Heller. I almost done and, get out of here. I go now. No, stay. Please. There's something I want to ask you about. Sure, yeah. So this girl... - Saffron. - Such a pretty name. And you like her? So what problem? I had a fiancée... not so long ago, and it did not end well for me. The heart is strong muscle. It spring back. You ready for the love again. Yeah, but I don't know if this is the kind of woman that... Come, Mr. Heller, you handsome man. Don't. I know how people see me. But this Saffron make you feel good. Yeah. She makes me want to... be nice. I think you have good luck with this girl. If there's any way we could see the room before paying for it... um, we just want to make sure the room is up to our standards. We don't usually let people see the rooms before they check in. I guess they just don't want us here, babe. You want to carry me over the threshold, too? Yeah, you wish. Let's hurry this up. Are you coming out anytime this year? Crap, I think we're out of hot water. Hey, man, you want to use this? Eat shit! Hello, Alice. Hello, Ava. We decided against it. Um, not enough... natural light. Thank you. This is it. What's up? - She's in there. - Yeah. Okay, whatever happens... - Good luck. - Yeah, man, you too. All right, mother-frickin' Avon calling. Let's meet Julia and her husband, John. John, you love your wife a lot, right? Just a minute. All right. Yeah? That'll be $16.75. - Here you go. - Great. Who the hell are you? Who the hell are you? Do you know this woman? Are you kidding me? She's my wife. No way. Is she dead? - What? - No. - No, wait. - Hold on, hold on. We want to ask you some questions, please. Open this door... So remember, if your attacker comes at you, you gonna panic? - No. - Yes. No, 'cause you've got your eyeball scoops, you got your kitten scratches... [grunting] And then you're gonna be clear to pummel the groin. And... you're dead. [applause] Wow. So inspiring, right? I'll tell you what I'm inspired by... - Those tris and those bis. - Mm-hmm. And that's why I call it self-defense... all: For moms! 'Cause, as moms, we have a natural instinct - to want to protect our young. - That's right. Maggie, you've got a young daughter at home. [military voice] I do, Cookie... She's one. Her name is Charlotte, and she's a fierce warrior. What's up with that voice you're using? Is this your married partner? [military voice] Nope, I'm Emma, I'm the best friend. I moved home to help her raise the baby... When I kicked my cheating husband to the curb. - That's right. - We're sisters for life, Cookie. - I need a moment. - I'm sorry. What's happening? This right here is the definition of friendship. - That's right. - Two women, side by side... That is the most powerful thing that there is. Now get on up here and attack each other. - All right. - What's that now? What... Oh, God. Well, Cookie, hold on one second. This is my first class, so I don't think... Don't worry about it. You're gonna be the attacker. - Okay. - And Maggie, you just do all the moves that we've been working on, okay? Yes, Cookie. All right, you're at the ATM. It's late at night. Emma, attack. Beep, boop, beep, boop. Ooga-booga, give me your money and also your body! [groaning] - You're dead. - Ow. - Nice, Maggie. - That actually really hurt. Remember too, your forearm is a five-way weapon, okay? - Five ways? - So you've got one, - two, three, four, and five. - Ah, ah! - That hurts. - You're okay. - So let's sit down, and we'll... - Nope, stay on up here. Really? Do one more scenario. Maggie, you're at your car. You're fumbling for your keys. - Okay. - Emma, attack. Uh, okay, um, Mags, let's just take it easy... - [grunts] - Ah! - [grunting and yelling] - You're dead! She's still alive! Keep it moving, keep it moving. - No, no! - I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead! Why are you still talking? Yeah, that's right. Dead men tell no tales. - [yells] - Oh, God! You're dead. And that's self defense... [softly] For moms. [Say Hi's "Back before We Were Brittle" playing] ♪ Hey, remember when ♪ ♪ All of time stood still ♪ ♪ Ooh, do do do do ♪ ♪ Back before we were brittle ♪ ♪ Back before we were brittle ♪ I think you snapped my solar plexus. What? Well, what was I supposed to do? You were attacking me at an ATM. I just think you could've been a little nicer about it. - And, oh, you're dead! - Oh, oh! Sorry, I can't resist. Maggie, you were incredible in class today. You're like a human machete out there. Well, you sharpened the blade, Cookie. Look, Thursdays around 10:30 p.m. I hold a special class that's called "The Cookie Jar." - Mm-hmm. - It's for my elite students. I'd like to invite you to join. Oh, my God, can we make that work? Yes, of course we can make that work. Okay, good. I give every member of The Cookie Jar a nickname. - Okay. - Isn't that cute? And there's Nutter Butter, Double Stuf, Shortbread, and now Gingersnap. - Oh, I love it. - Oh, is that 'cause - she's a red head? - It's because she's sweet - until she snaps! - Pow! - And Emma? - Yes? - This is for you. - The golden whistle. Is this for being most improved? I've been teaching this class for 17 years. I have never had a student with less - natural ability than yourself. - Is that right? You are a danger to yourself, so I need you to forget everything that you learned here today, okay? - That won't be a problem. - It's already forgotten, Cooks. Perfect. Do you really think I have no physical strength? Hey, she didn't say strength, she said skills. And yes. - Wait, is that Mark? - Mark, what are you doing? - That's our car. - I'm just doing my job, Miss. Oh, my God, this is ridiculous. What's this a ticket for? - "Being too sexy"? - Boom. Oh, God, is this what it's gonna be like with you guys together? 'Cause I'm not interested. What is this a ticket for? Being the best friend? - "Tags are expired"? - You got 30 days. - I'll see you tonight. - I'll see you tonight, babe. - I'm not paying this. - Yeah, you are. You have a woman's handwriting. ♪ ♪ Can I ask you a quick nursing question? - Yeah, shoot. - Do penises age? Ugh, if I had a nickel. The short answer is yes. The long answer, much more complicated, you know, based on penis size or shape or whether there's been a traumatic event - or even just natural slope. - A slope? Yeah, sometimes a penis can take a slope to the right or to the left. If you're lucky, it goes up. - Oh, okay. - Why are we talking about this? I think tonight Mark and I are gonna do it for the first time. - What? - Yes, I mean, since we got back together. What about all that hot and heavy stuff on the porch? I thought you guys would've been all over each other. - It's been a couple weeks. - No, no, no, no. He said, and I quote, "I wanna do this, but I wanna take it slow." - So, since then, there's just... - Right. Been a lot of dry humping and starting meaningfully into each other's eyes. Sign me up for a good dry hump, right? Although there is a lot of chafing involved. But it's been 15 years since I've seen, you know, it, and I just don't know if it's gonna be, like, "Oh, hello, old friend," or "Oh, God, what happened to you?" Well, I would be more worried about him seeing my body, you know, 15 years later. 'Cause this is 40, right? Things are very different. God, I hadn't even thought about that. - Oh. - Okay, if you saw... if you saw this coming towards you, what would you think about that? Would you be disturbed, or would you welcome it? Is that a special move I'm not aware of? Tell me, does it feel... does it feel tight, is there reverb? Whoa, wow, we, uh, we can come back. Oh, no, no, no, I was just trying to see if my butt had changed since college. - Well, this is 40. - Oh, God. - Hi, baby girl, are you hungry? - Yeah. - All right. - Okay. - Dive in. - Ahh-ooh. We got some carrots. Uh, hey, Mags, might I have a word? Uh, yes, you might. Well, it's been approximately six weeks since we took Joanie and Cha-Chi to the carwash. - Are you talking about sex? - Geez, Maggie, the baby... What? That's how she got here, right? Anyway, since that wonderful night, I've been feeling... Oh, no, no, hey, Bruce, we talked about this, right? - It was just the one night. - Oh, no, no, it's not that. - It's, uh, I met somebody. - Oh, okay, good. - I mean, that's great, yes. - Her name is Nancy, and it's been fast and furious, like the first movie, not the other seven, which I feel don't hold up. - Okay, Bruce, focus. - Anyhow, um, I really want Charlotte to meet her, but I was that maybe before she meets her that you might meet her. - I'd love to meet her. - Yeah? - Yeah, of course. - We'll have you guys over. Maybe I'll make some of my famous apps and we can throw some games in there. - That'll be fun, right? - Hey, can you make those baby hot dogs that look like they're taking a nap in pastry? - Oh, pigs in a blanket. - Yeah, I guess you could make those, too, if you want, pfft. All right. ♪ ♪ You did not have to make me dinner. I haven't ever made anything other than a DiGiorno's pizza. Well, I'm sure it's delicious. Okay, here we go, right? [chuckles] All right. Bon appétit. All right. Now, is this a chicken or a fish? It is a chicken. Mm, can't wait. Okay. [crunches] - Ooh, there's a crackle. - Mm-hmm. What is this? There are... What is...? Rice Krispies. It's a Rice Krispie crusted chicken. Mm, did you come up with that yourself? I did. I didn't have any hazelnuts. And is this a dessert or a side? - It's a warm banana. - Oh, okay. Halved... microwaved for two minutes. - Hmm. - Give that a shot. - Oh, 'cause it's... - Oh, God, the middle is hot! - Take some water! - [coughing] - Mm. - This is not a good meal. No, no, no, no, I'll just munch on this dry pasta. - No, no, it's okay. - Babe... You know what? I have a better idea. - What? - I'm gonna go over there - and cue up some music. - Okay. ["Between the Sheets" by The Isley Brothers plays] Oh, what? - Okay. - Uh-oh, what's this old jam? - Taking you back to the day? - [laughing] Oh, you slid into it. Ooh, you miss these old moves? - Oh, yes. - Come here, girl. Come on, yeah. Yeah, that's my lady. [laughter] I haven't heard this song since the first time we... - That's right. - That's right. ♪ ♪ Oh, man, we did some bad things. [laughter] Do you remember that? Every detail. Every detail. ♪ ♪ Mm, no, no, no, I gotta keep you working for that, mister. - What? - Pay toll, find the troll. - What? - You know, gotta - find that troll. - What's... What's the troll? No, I'm sorry, I think I just need it to be more spontaneous. - That's all. - Okay, babe. Sure, sure. You know what? Let's get a little dessert. Oh, I thought the microwaved banana was the dessert. Settle down, 'cause I got these. [gasps] Red Vines! I thought you said Red Vines be nasty. Well, some things you come around on, you know? ♪ ♪ - [pounding on door] - Hey, Mark. "Happy Feet"! - What was that? - That's... That's just Dave. He's... He's getting divorced. - Hey, Dave. - [pounding on door] I'm in the middle of something, buddy. ♪ ♪ "Happy Feet"! - So no sex? - No, we just ended up watching the DVD extras of "Happy Feet 2" with a divorcee named Dave. Oh, that's tough stuff. - Hey, no, ma'am. - What? I only have three backup trays of those pigs in a blanket, okay? Okay, you need to relax 'cause this is way too many apps. - Mm-mm. - All we're doing is meeting. Bruce's girlfriend. What's her name again? - Nancy. - Yeah, she's probably, like, a out of work temp with a terrible bob and rosacea. I'm sure she's very sweet, okay? And I would just like her to feel welcome in my home. A lesser woman might be freaked out about meeting their ex-husband's new girlfriend. - Not this old gal. - Nope? I'm very happy for them, and I think it's gonna be good for all of us. Well, I feel good about having some of this - seven-layer dip now. - Hey, no, you don't. - Oh, ah! - And you're dead. God, I'm not gonna get physically attacked at my own apps table, you psycho. Well, you just did. [doorbell ring] You gotta be ready, okay? 'Cause 94% of attacks happen in your own home. ♪ ♪ - Cookie? - Gingersnap! - Nancy? - Bruce! ♪ ♪ This is just blowing my mind. I mean, Cookie is Nancy, Nancy is Cookie? Yeah, what are the chances, right? I mean, there aren't any, but here we are. I didn't even know you guys knew each other. Both: Yeah. - Maggie's in the Cookie Jar. - That's right. A little different than the Cookie Jar you've been digging in every night. - Okay. - [laughter] How did you guys possibly meet? I was in a Party City on a Friday night, - as one does... - Mm-hmm. - Buying myself a piñata. - A personal piñata? End of a hard week, you just string up a piñata, whack the crap out of it, and it rains candy on you. - It's the best. - But I don't understand. Cookie, you were also buying a piñata? Yeah, I mean, what are the odds, right? When two people who both love piñatas find each other? Very unexpected. 'Cause, you know, normally I date, you know, really tough guys, right? - It's what I would assume. - Yeah, bounty hunters, MMA fighters, and large animal vets, but, man, none of those guys made me laugh like this man. - You're a party in a bottle. - There's no denying that. And the physical part is just... it's, um... seamless. When you say "seamless," what do you mean by... - Well, we need more apps. - You don't know where his body - ends and yours begins? - You guys need more apps? - Is that what it is? - I do, yeah. - Who wants more apps? - I'm good, thanks. I'll get you some then. Oh, my God, can you believe it? We thought Nancy was gonna be some terrible woman who was like, "my Crock-Pot," and instead, it's Cookie! - [laughs] - You must be so psyched. - I am so psyched, really. - Oh, God, imagine what. Charlotte's fifth birthday would be like, right? - What are you talking about? - When Cookie rolls up, like, piñatas aplenty, everyone will be like, "Hey, Cookie's here!" You wanna slow your roll? 'Cause that's not gonna happen. They're not gonna last. She's like the perfect physical specimen, and he's just, you know, Bruce. It makes now sense at all, and, at the same time, it kind of makes all the sense in the world. I mean, look at them. Like two hippos wrestling in the wild. Oh, that's a classic viper hold into a Chinese handcuff. [phone buzzing] Man. We learned that two weeks ago. God, she's good. Oh, we didn't learn that one. We should not be watching this. And I am all alone. [sighs] Officer Rodriguez, at your service. Mark, what are you doing here? I'm being spontaneous. I slipped in through the window, "Dawson's Creek" style. - No, you didn't. - Oh, yes, I did. You better come over here, girl, 'cause I don't wanna wait. There is a former MMA fighter named Cookie downstairs. Well, then we're gonna have to be quiet, huh? [both moaning] Hmm. You know what? You know what? What if we were to do it in the dark, dark recesses - of the closet over there? - Oh, yeah, that sounds great. - Okay. - All right. [clattering] Oh, God, there's some stuff in there, sorry. Oh, wow, there's a lot of stuff in here. That's gonna make for a tight fit. Yeah, you know, that'll only be sexier. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. - Ouch, ouch. - I can't... ow. - Ow. - Emma? - Oh, God. - What's going on? - Emma? It's Maggie, shh, shh. [knocking] - What is going on? - Hey! I'm dying down there. I thought Cookie would wanna see my old hockey stick, you know? Remember how good I was at that? - [toy squeaks] - Stop it, stop it, shut up. Shut up, there's someone in here. We're not alone. I don't hear anybody. You shut your mouth for once in your damn life if you wanna survive this night. - I think we're okay, I mean. - Okay... Maggie, you're being ridiculous. Okay, there is a man's footprint, a formal wear shoe, look at that. - All right, Mags, it's just... - [screams] - You're dead. - Oh! Oh, my God, Mark! [strained] Oh, oh, my larynx. ♪ ♪ - My larynx. - Okay. - My larynx. - Okay, I'm sorry. I thought you were an intruder. Gingersnap, don't you ever apologize for your strength. Got it. Why were you in Emma's room wearing a tuxedo? Hey, man, I was just trying to sneak in and surprise my lady. That's very romantic. Excuse me, I have to take a moment... [whispers] What's happening? 'Cause that was beautiful. Hey, I have an idea. Wanna play some games? One moment, Gingersnap. I have to say something. Oh, Bruce, I have spent most of my life closed off to intimacy, protecting myself, but, since we've met, I've learned to open up and lay down my emotional weapons. I love you, babe. I love you too. You know what I love? Games. Both: What? Oh, yeah. - Games! - What are you talking about? ♪ Open yourself up and love some games ♪ - What are you doing, Mags? - What is that? - ♪ Some games ♪ - [laughing] We could play Skalagoes, huh? Honey, I don't know what you're saying. Hey, scribble Scrabble, where's the piece at? - Something is not right there. - Let's play some games! Okay, so, "I'm just a girl, standing here..." "Notting Hill." "Notting Hill"! That's it, yes! You should've just said Julia Roberts. Emma, don't tell me how to play the game. Okay, fine, fine, fine, go, go, go, go. - Turn it up, turn it up. - What is... Oh, okay. This is a place where they're growing dinosaurs, and children and their families come and visit. Why would you bring a dinosaur back to life? - What's the movie? - You know what's gonna happen. Electricity's gonna go out, and then all hell's - gonna break loose. - Yeah, that's exactly what - happens, but say the movie. - Some of those dinosaurs are really smart, like, I believe a raptor could - use its claws to open a door. - What is...? And then you'd be like, "Ah!" [buzzer beeps] - Oh, what was it, babe? - It's "Jurassic Park"! - Nuts, I didn't see that one. - What? We should put that one on our cue though, right? - Sounds scary. - Bruce, Cookie, you're up. - Yes. - Who's next? Here you guys go. Here you go, here you go. - Ready to rock this thing? - You know I am. - Duck. - "Nine and a Half Weeks." - Yes. - Fire truck. - "A Golden Pond." - Yes. How are they getting these? - Icicle. - "Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." Chicken. Chicken. "Turner and Hooch." [buzzer beeps] - That was amazing. - I've seen better. All right, you guys get up there. - Maggie, why don't you go? - No, I'm good... - I don't have a partner, so. - We'll all be your partner. - Come on, we're all doing it. - I'm keeping score in my head. You said you were open to loving some games, right? - Come on. - Play the game, Mags. Get up there, let's game it up. - [overlapping chatter] - All right, games. - Yay. - There she is. Team of one. Team of one. Let's do it. - All right. - Here we go. You're gonna crush it, Mags. Okay, okay, shh, shh, shh. Okay, everybody's forgotten about you! You're all alone, you're all alone! Your only friend's an old man! Nobody cares about you! - All by yourself. - You're lonely! - It's just you! - You're lonely! - Nobody wants you! - You're lonely. And everyone forgot about you. Stop it! Just stop it, for God's sake. What's wrong with you? - What, what? - I get it. Everybody's found their special someone - except for this old coot. - No, Mags... You guys can't get your hands off each other, and that's nasty. And you guys can't get your hands on each other. Well, just get it over with and do it. At least you're not all by yourself in your home alone. Well, that's it, Mags. You got the movie. - I got... got what? - You just guessed the movie. "Home Alone," that was the movie. - What? - Yeah, you won. Why didn't you guys just go "ahh"? It's the poster. ♪ ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, those apps still have some life in them. - They're cream cheese. - It doesn't keep. Mags, what is going on? Do you still have feelings for Bruce? No, of course not. Well, then are you in love with Cookie? 'Cause I would understand that. I don't know, I'm just... I'm standing there looking at you guys, and it just feels like everyone... Everyone has someone except for me, you know? Okay, well, I thought you weren't ready for that. Well, I wasn't, but I... I don't know. - Maybe I am. - Well, if we had to verbally abuse some game night guests for you to figure that out, then that is totally okay. And, just so you know, if you wanna get out there, all I have to do is put out an APB. - Let me handle this one. - I'll probably get involved. Why don't you get involved with Mark's peen. No, 'cause guess what? This is 40, okay? Do you really think, when you take your clothes off, that he's gonna run the other way? No, he's gonna jump on you like an old hound dog. What if I just wear Spanx during sex? What do you think? Mark, I wanna rock your body all night long in so many different ways. Not right now, we're watching "Happy Feet." - Dave, hit the road. - Dave, you gotta go. - Really? - You gotta go. Ugh, I wish I had somebody to rock my body. You will again, man. You will again. See you later. - Mark, I am so sorry. - No, I'm sorry, right? The warm banana? What is that? - No, I loved that. - And then I snuck into your house, "Dawson's Creek" style. - No, that was... - I love "Dawson's Creek." Listen to me. I'm so happy. And I think I just got worried that this part wouldn't work. What are you talking about? You haven't seen this in a while. Emma, I can't wait to see this. I know, but things are different, you know? They're a little wider and longer. You think this isn't different? - Come on, man. - Look at this, look at this. That wasn't there before. That's something to grab onto. Get your hands in there. Get a hold of that, see? - All right, all right. - How about this... This mole here? That's new, that's interesting. You should get that checked out. And, I'm sorry, check out these chicken legs, right? I'm just going straight chicken leg situations. It's a two-piece meal. So yeah, it's different. But have you ever thought that it might be... much, much better? ♪ ♪ Get over here and get on top of my body. ♪ ♪ Mags, mark and I did it! We did the sex! And it was even better than before 'cause I got moves now, y'all. Adult moves. [gasps] What is this? "Dear Emma, you must be hungry from all the sex. "Please enjoy this plate of artisanal cheese. Love, your best friend, Maggie." Oh, she knows me so well. - You're dead! - [screams] - [chomps] - Ah! ♪ ♪ ♪♪ If you are ever in Denver... - Oh. - Look me up. Put my home phone number on the back of the card there. Carpet King. I met someone, he gave me his card. I haven't used it. I, uh, brought Mom a toilet 'cause I broke hers. - Is she here? - She ain't here, honey. Where is she? Woman: [On P.A.] Ladies and gentlemen, flight 543 to Denver will be boarding shortly. Man: [On P.A.] Welcome to the Denver International Airport. For up to date flight information, please check our overhead monitors, Thank you and enjoy your stay. Taxi! Taxi person! Oh, these mountains. Oh, it's my first time here. - Well, welcome. - Thank you. And the air, it's refreshing. Don't you find it refreshing? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, and you have that omelet everyone loves. - [Chuckles] Sure. - They talk about it everywhere. - It's on every menu. - [Chuckling] Oh, I love Denver. Oh. - I'm here. - Excuse me? Christine Baskets. - Oh. - Guest of the day. Yeah, the computer just does that at random. Oh. Well, you thank that computer for me. Okay. Um, it just means you get 10 percent off a pay-per-view movie. Oh. Could I trade that in for a free breakfast? I can look into that for you. Thank you. So, what brings you to Denver? Oh, I'm just, uh, passing through. [Vacuum cleaner whirring] [Door closes] ♪♪ [Exhales] Hi, this is Ken. I'm out right now, but if you leave a message, I'll get right back to you. [Beep] Hi, Ken. Christine Baskets from Bakersfield. I hope you're well. I'm sure you're very busy, uh, as a carpet king, and, uh, hey, I'm in Denver, so, uh, I thought I would give you a call. I'm at the Extended Rest Hotel downtown. So, this is my number. Uh, call me or don't call me or call... Okay. Bye, Ken. Thank you. [Sighs] [Sighs] Hi. Um, yeah, I had a question. How's your water quality here in Denver? - Woman: I wouldn't drink it. - Oh. - Yeah. - Well, uh, could I get, uh, a bottle of tonic water then? - Sure. - With a glass of ice and a twist of lemon? - Sure, I'll send that right up. - What was your name? - Catherine. Catherine, oh, I've always loved that name. - Beautiful day, huh? - Sure is. - Thank you, Catherine. - Thank you. Have a nice day. [Sighs] Man: [On TV] Finding the right chair is hard. - [Applause] - Man: Incredible inven... Man: You can get your dream kitchen for... Man: To the DCPA's credit, this thing hasn't happened at all before. In fact, this is a rarity, and so they apologize to all those folks. - Those folks... - 44 will be the coolest that we've had. - You have to go back to August... - [Snoring] - To the north and west... - [Tablet chiming] Back out toward the northwest plateau, Craig Beeker, that is a freeze warning. - Basically, if you had... - Oh, shit. [Phone rings] I'm sure the check is in the mail. Hello. Can you hold on a second, please. Hey, Ellen. It's the joy of teaching which is the reward. Okay? Go for Dr. Baskets. Dale, I need you to run an errand for me tomorrow. That is a giant no, Mother. I am knee deep in lazy teachers. Knee deep! - Woman: Excuse me? - I said I am knee deep in lazy teachers, you witch! Dale, I think you owe me. You and your brother ruined my house. You wrecked the whole place. Mother, I texted you an apology already. What else do you want me to do? I gotta go. Bye. Dale... Oh, you brat. ♪ And the squawk box goes to sleep ♪ - [Laughing] - [Cell phone rings] Yes. Oh, hold on one second. Can you hold this for a second? Hi, Mom. Chip, I'm out of town, and I need you to do something for me tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, okay, for sure. Meemaw has a doctor's appointment tomorrow, there's a reminder on the fridge. Can you do that for me? So, does that mean that you're not mad at me anymore? - Don't push it. - Okay, that's good enough, 'cause it's anchored to my skivvies. You can have a seat. What is that? I hear balloons. I'm actually, uh... I'm doing birthday parties now. - Oh. - Yeah. - Well, that's good. - Yeah, yeah, it is good. So, okay, uh, take Meemaw to the doctor, got it, and I'll do a good job of that. I won't let you down, okay? I promise. - Thank you, Chip. - Thank you, Mom. Where are you, by the way? - I gotta go. - You outta town? Mom? - You doin' okay? - Hi. - Hey, Mom, what's goin 'on? How are you, Cody? All is well. How are you, Mom? - Where's Logan? - Uh, he's sleeping. Oh, God, he always was a sleeper. - Man, you know that. - You have a lot of energy, more than him. [Chuckling] Um, I have a little surprise. Please share. What is it, what is it? Guess where I am? - Um... - Denver. Really? What's goin' on over there? I'm in Colorado. Wow. Hey, so I'm here for a few days. Any tips or things or ideas, uh, stuff I might do for fun? Uh... yeah. Actually, you can do some cool mountain biking while you out there. But Mom, while you're there, do not do any MDMA. Okay? - MDMA? - Yeah. That sounds terrible. - Yeah, it was. - Yeah. Must be very sunny to have to wear those sunglasses where you are. Oh, these? Nah, it's just that, you know, a long night last night. - Eyes a little baggy. - Yeah. - So, anyway... - Well, you look terrific. Thank you. All right, Mom, well, I gotta go. Ohh. Okay. - Okay, well, love you. - Love you. - We love you. - Be good. - Enjoy Colorado. - I will. All right, peace out, Mom. - Bye. - Bye. [Sighs] ♪♪ Waitress: Here you go, ma'am. - My first Denver omelet. - Yeah. Well, when in Rome. You know, I think it was actually invented in New York City. Oh. Okay. - Enjoy. - Thank you. [Sighs] Hi, this is Ken. I'm out right now, but if you leave a message, I'll get... Could I get the check? Say, I was wondering, if I checked out a day early, would I still get all my Extended Rest rewards points for the entire stay? I can look into that for you. Thank you. Have a good night. - Watch your step here. - I will. Those plants, they don't look nice anymore. - They're okay. - Hey, where are we going, anyway? - Uh, I'm gonna take you to the doctor. - No! - I don't need to go to a doctor, no. - Meemaw, Meemaw... - No, no, no. - Meemaw, I promised... I promised my mom that I would take you to the doctor, okay? Okay. Then I'm gonna drive. You're not gonna drive, Meemaw. - I'm gonna drive. - No. Too many DUls. Hey, scoot over, four eyes. - Oh... - Come on, come on. - Martha, just... - But you're not... You're not on my insurance policy. Oh, we won't tell anybody. Well, legally, I have to call the police if you drive. Legal, schmegal. Move over, honey. Wow. Ten years I haven't driven. Chip, what's new? What's happening at the Arby's? Uh, I don't work there anymore. I'm a professional clown. Oh. So, that means you're the breadwinner, Martha, darling? What do you mean? A man shouldn't rely on his wife for money, Chip. - That's what I mean. - We're not a thing. - We're not married. - Oh, no. You're not married? - No. - No, we're just friends. - Aren't you pregnant? - No, I'm not... I'm not pregnant. What happens, Martha, if you have a child out of wedlock? You'd better do something. You'd better pop a question today. Would you just pull over, Meemaw, and let Martha... - Martha, would you drive? - No, no, no. We're on vacation. Your mom's out of town. She left me in charge for once. No, she left me in charge, by the way, Meemaw. Wait, where are you going? Um, just making a stop. Well, you have an appointment. I do, but you know what? [Tires squealing] Chip: Meemaw. [Elevator dings] Christine: Hello. [Cell phone rings] - Hello. - Hi, Christine? - Hi. - Hi, it's Ken. How are you? I'm good. Sorry it took me so long to call you back. Hey, but you're here. That's amazing. - Yes. - So listen, uh, do you have any plans for lunch? Lunch? No. Well, my daughters are fixing me lunch. Why don't you come over? Uh, I don't want to impose. You're not imposing. How about I pick you up around noon? Noon? Okay. All right, I'll see you at noon. - All right. - Bye. Noon. [Elevator dings] Oh, go ahead. I've got to go back up to my room. ♪♪ I'm just saying these new micro fibers are taking - the carpet industry by storm. - Uh-uh, Dad. Okay, she doesn't care about this stuff. - Okay? - [Chuckling] Oh, I find it fascinating, especially that you have a family business. It all looks so fun. Oh, it can be. I guess most days we're either having fun, - or ready to strangle one another. - [Laughing] - [Overlapping dialog] - [Laughing] Were you interested in carpets as a child? - Well... - Oh, I think he came out the womb - with a book of swatches. - No, stop that. No, now, when we first got started, it wasn't about carpets, I just wanted a family business. I just came to love carpets. - Oh. - So, what are you doing in Denver? Uh... um, my flight had a layover, and then it was canceled, and, uh, I was out, um, following my sons who are DJs. - Oh. - Uh-huh. Uh, they're names are Logan and Cody. They call themselves the Loco Twins. Which I guess, in Spanish, means crazy. [Laughing] Uh, maybe you know them? Um, I don't think so. Oh. Well, they opened for the Chemical Brothers. Oh, I think I heard of them. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - They're very well respected. Wait, the Chemical Brothers? I don't think... Oh, you've heard of them. Wait, wait, wait, look. - Look, look, look. - Oh, yes, yes, yes. The Chemical Brothers, okay. Uh-huh. Oh, they have their own Wikipedia article, and everything. Wow. Now, they're real brothers, right? - Well, I would hope so. - [Laughing] Well, this is nice. Very impressive, huh? - Yes, it is. It's cool. - Very nice. - That's cool. - I am done with my tomato cutting. Oh, thank you, Christine. We're just gonna throw those in the salad. - Okay. - And let's eat. - It's time to eat. - 'Cause we're hungry. - Yeah, I'm hungry. - And I'm saying the blessing this time. Daddy, don't be too long winded this time, please. Make it two minutes this time, two minutes. Okay? Ken: I'm gonna say "Jesus wept." We gonna be right out of here. - He knows how you... - He gonna talk about Jesus for 20 minutes. He know he wept, okay? He did the weeping. Let me get this bread. [Laughing] All right, we gotta get her to the doctor. What are we still doing here? Um, you know what? I got my niece and nephew to the dentist last week with some cookies. I probably still have some. Yeah? What kind are they? Mint Milano. She only likes Chips Ahoy, unfortunately. Well, how would your mom handle it? Well, she would just eat the Milanos. Or the Chips Ahoy. No, I mean how would your mom handle your grandmother? Oh, she wouldn't put up with this, she'd just put her foot down. - Hit me, hit me. - Well, why don't you try that? Oh, she's my grandmother. I don't want to do that. Plus, she doesn't respect me because she thinks I'm an idiot clown. Well, you could... you could make her respect you. I mean, that's what your mom does. Maybe be a little forceful with her, and tell her we gotta get out of here. Yeah, you can do it. - What's that? - Um, high five. For what? I was trying to help you get pumped up. - Okay, let's do it. - It's too late. Meemaw, we're leaving right now, okay? Okay, mister serious man. Hit me. I won! Can we get the cookies, please? - Woman: Esther! - Huh? Enid! Hey, it's free drinks and dollar steaks in the caf. Let's go. Oh! I'm coming. - Should I get some more cookies? - Yeah. And Werther's Originals. Do you have those? Yes. - I can't believe you have this. - Yeah, well... - It's cute, isn't it? - Oh, it is. - Yeah, Reagan. - I loved your daughters. - Oh, yeah. - And the spaghetti. [Laughs] Yeah, I'm a very lucky man. Especially with Darla with all her troubles over the years. Those two have been my bedrock. Yeah, I'm sorry about Darla. How's she doing, uh... How's she doing in prison? I think she's okay. You know, I learned something. Sometimes you just have to let your kids... sit in their own mistakes. Sometimes you can't fix 'em. Yeah. Well, I should get back to the hotel. You know, I'm guest of the day. [Chuckling] Say, listen, we have a half a pitcher of sangria, it's still early. Come on, hang around a while. Okay. Let me pour you some. - Oh. - Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry. No, no, no, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. It's okay. No, I'm gonna show you something. You're gonna love this. - I'm such a klutz. - No, you're not a klutz. Stop it, you're not a klutz. That's what I've been sayin', I've been waiting to show this to somebody. - [Spraying] - Watch. This new Stain Master, it is amazing. It is gonna revolutionize the carpet industry. Ready? Watch. Voila! Oh. That's amazing. Isn't that something? Feel it. - Oh, I will. - Feels just like wool. Oh, my God. Wow. Mm. I'm so happy I'm here. I'm glad you're here, too. I... I didn't have a layover. I know. I just thought, well, would he... Would I... Should I go? Should I... Would he want to... Oh, I don't know. [Sighs] Oh. - Cheers to us. - Oh, yeah. To all us. To us. - Ahh. - There you go. - Good. - Meemaw. - Hm? - Can... Can we think about going to the doctor, please? Oh. Edwin, did you hear my grandson? He says I have to go to the doctor. Is that so? I was a doctor for 47 years. How do I look? - Oh, okay by me. Yeah. - [Chuckling] - Appointment done. - Meemaw, please. Have something to eat. The steaks are a buck. I'm not hungry right now. Why not? Is there something wrong with you? No, I just... I promised Mom that I would take you to the doctor. That's all. I'm trying to be a good person here. I'm trying to be a good son. I'll tell your mom how fabulous you are. I'm trying to show her that I have responsibility as well. Okay? But you're doing something responsible. You're- - You're elongating my life Because you took me to have a good time with my friends. - Yeah. - What could be better? You think a doctor's gonna make me healthy? I'm healthy when I'm livin' my life. - Yeah. - Right? Hey, Esther, do that little dance you do. - Come on. - Hey, you should... - You should have seen her. - No, no. - Yeah, do it. - She was really something. - Esther. - Get up there, Esther. - Get up there, Esther. - I can't. Come on, Esther, do it. I can't walk. How am I gonna dance? - Get outta here. - Okay. Do the dance. All right? Then we gotta do. - Get up there, Esther. - For you, kid, anything. - Get up. - Oh boy. [Laughing] And a five, six, seven, eight. - [Cracking] - Whoa! [Police radio chatter] [Sobbing] I'm so sorry, Chip. What you thinkin' about? Oh. I was thinkin' when I was young, I couldn't wait to move out and start my own life. I thought I'd be an actress or a successful business woman. And then I told myself when the boys got out of the house, and started their lives, that I'd do the same thing. And then I thought Dale had it together. But he didn't. He's starting over. And, well, Chip. [Chuckles] I help them, I wait for them, and for what? My life gets lost in the shuffle. I don't think this time I'm gonna be able to forgive them. [Cell phone rings] You don't have to answer. You're a good mom, Christine. You're also a lot more. Hello. [Carousel rattling] I'm sorry. Me too. Let's go home. I'm sorry. ♪♪ Back in the '80s, there was nothing more exciting than the chance of a snow day. We all remember the morning ritual. We'd wake up at dawn, hop out of bed at lightning speed, rush downstairs, grab your radio, and pray to the snow gods. The following schools are closed in Montgomery County... - It's gonna happen. I can feel it. - Shut up. You're gonna jinx it. Please, God, if you give us a snow day, I promise I'll be a good boy for the rest of my life. ...Abington High closed, Germantown West closed, William Penn Academy... open. - Balls! - Why? ! I'm back to being a bad boy. This is on you, Mother Nature. Sadly, we were that one school that never closed for snow. Abington High closed, - Germantown West closed... - Please, please, please. Say it. Say "closed." I will fist-punch the radio if you don't say "closed." ...William Penn Academy open. - Balls! Balls! - I hate everything! I'm a man of my word! Ow! Every time, it was the same heartbreak... until the snow gods finally showed mercy. William Penn Academy... closed. Am I still asleep, or did he just say William Penn is closed? He said "closed." School is closed. This is the best day of my life! I feel so alive! Yeah! Snow day means a full day of snuggle time with mama! - Yeah! - Get in here! Get it! I'm so happy, I don't have the will to fight her off! Snow day! Snow day! Snow day! ♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪ ♪ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say ♪ ♪ I don't know the future ♪ ♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ It was snow day, 1980-something, and my sister was seizing the day... by sleeping through it. Aah! - Oh, good. You're finally up. - God! What the hell? ! Someone was snoring the day away, lazybones. Mom, today is a day that's been gifted to me by the universe. Please don't ruin it by being you. You only have one more college essay left to write, and then you're done. That has nothing to do with snow day. Of course it does. You're physically trapped in the house with me, and all the roads and stores are closed. Yay! Let's get you into Penn State. No! Put away the word processor. I am not writing my college essay. Squishy, I can help you. I read the topic... "Describe a personal hero who's changed the course of your life." - Mom, stop. - Let's brainstorm. What makes a hero? Hmm? Someone who's great at... crafting, matchmaking, parming chicken or shrimp or eggplant or meatballs. Listen, I did write about someone in the family, but it's a "he." Yay! It's me! I am he, and he is me. Bevy, she clearly picked someone else, perhaps a decorated war vet who had a date with two different Shirleys last night. That's right. Pops? ! You picked the random old guy who just hangs around our house all day, eating our smoked fish? Choo-choo! Next stop, Lametown. Hey, I liberated an entire country. I helped saved lives. Oh! Oh, sorry, I drifted off to sleep there. Okay, this turned ugly fast. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a full day of doing nothing ahead of me. I honestly don't see a world where it's anyone but me. But thank you for your service. My mom would stop at nothing to be Erica's hero. Meanwhile, me and Big Tasty started our snow day with an epic cartoon marathon. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you two get into my four-quadrant popcorn tin? Relax. We were just sniffing it. Stand up and show me your fingers. If I see any cheese dust, you're both grounded. Dust-free. You happy? Dude, you're unbelievable. Popcorn is the snack of the people. No. It's a snack for dads only. I get one tin a year from my armoire dealer in Cincinnati. It's the only thing that gets me through the season. There are so many sad things in that sentence, but I honestly think the winner is "Cincinnati." Well, just keep your hands off the tin. That's it. End of story. And the same goes for the thermostat. Yeah, I see you two looking. That's 'cause it's colder in this house - than it is outside. - Yeah, man. Can't you spare like two more degrees? If you two are so cold, go out and shovel the walkway. That ought to work up a sweat but good. Murray Goldberg had a lot of dumb dad rules, but nothing equaled his hard line on snow. And no monkeying around out there when you're done. - This weather is treacherous. - Oh, here we go. Another lecture on the dangers of cold weather. I'm serious. It's not safe out there. You got frostbite, avalanches, and deadly icicles. Icicles aren't deadly. They're refreshing and delicious. They're knives that can fall from the sky at any moment. Sky knives! - They kill a billion people a year. - That seems high. Dad, come on. It's snow day. Can't we at least go outside and build one tiny awesome snow fortress? Absolutely not! You shovel that walkway before it turns into ice. And no forts, I mean it! Naturally, we did the opposite 'cause forts are awesome! Good job, dude. I can't feel my fingers, but this definitely was two hours well spent. Do you think maybe we should shovel the walkway a little so Dad doesn't totally freak? Yeah, we should... after a quick expansion. Quick's good. Whatcha thinking? I'm picturing a master bedroom with an attached bath, butler's quarters, a dojo, one of those maze gardens, all of the rooms from "Clue," an indoor basketball court. A basketball court inside a snow fort? That's just the first floor. The second level's where the party's at. Hot tub, sauna, fire pit. You don't think that'll create an awful lot of heat? Yeah... - once the word gets out. - Son of a bitch. A fort? ! I told you dumbasses to shovel the walk! Crap. It's Dad. He's coming for us. We're so dead! You get your asses out of there before that thing collapses and traps you in an icy tomb. Stay strong. We're untouchable in here. Untouchable? I'll show you untouchable! He's shimmying! Oh, no! He's entering the snow fort! I never thought this would happen! Ah! I'm stuck! I can't move my arms! My arms are stuck! How are your arms stuck? It's snow. It's soft. I'm wedged in! My circulation's failing me! I can feel it! I'm gonna die in here! He thinks he's dying. Stop laughing! Stop laughing at me right now! Why are we hiding from this man? Look at him. These are my last breaths! I can see my last breaths! He's so scared and vulnerable, and it's hilarious. This is how it's gonna end for me... in an icy igloo with you two morons. - He's freaking out. - Shut up and help me! You got it, pal. You're not trying to help me. You're just playing with my face to mess with me. Dude, you push like this. Stop! As we continued to mess with my dad, my mom was cleaning Erica's room. Okay, she was ransacking it like an FBI agent. It was a desperate attempt to uncover the person Erica chose as her hero. And then she found it... hidden in plain view behind the circuit board of a Lite-Brite, the piece of paper that would change my mom's life forever. Dad, I stumbled upon something incredible hidden in Erica's room, and I need to tell someone, but I can't because she'll never forgive me. Okay, you twisted my arm, so here it is. I'm Erica's hero. Me, baby, me! Well, I'm glad this worked out for you. You know what this means, right? I have succeeded as a mother. Now, I know there were times when I quietly wondered if I had failed as a mother, but now I know the truth. Success! Did it ever occur to you that Erica hid that essay so you wouldn't overreact like you are right now? Did it occur to you that none of this matters because I'm her hero? Bevy, you snooped. You broke her trust. If I were you, I wouldn't speak a word of this. Obviously. Erica will never, ever know. And she wouldn't... for 10 minutes. ♪ Suddenly, I'm up on top of the world ♪ What the... "A Daughter and Her Hero!"? ♪ It should've been somebody else ♪ - Oh, damn it. You know? - Know what? That I'm your greatest American hero? No, that's not true. ♪ Believe it or not, I'm walking on air ♪ ♪ I never thought I could feel so free... ♪ For the record, it is none of your business who my hero is. ♪ Who could it be? ♪ ♪ Believe it or not, it's just me ♪ I take it back, okay? I take back every single word I wrote. You think you can just take it back like a bathing suit you've worn three times with the tags tucked in? No way. I'm your hero. No! Our history together will show I think you're the absolute worst. But now I'll forever know how you really feel about me, which is, "Everything my mother does comes from her heart." Stop using my words against me. You are not my hero. I read a document that says otherwise. God, you ruin everything! And yet I'm your "beacon on the hill." I resent you so much right now. But yet you love me "more than anyone." This is "my worst nightmare." And it's my dream. Bring up their photos. The left clavicle on this one is higher than the right. That's an indication of handedness. SAROYAN: Also, his left deltoid is slightly more developed. And he parts his hair to the right. I mean, most lefties do that. MONTENEGRO: Jake Tompkins. I'll call Booth and let him know. AUBREY: So, this hood isn't exactly screaming "drug dealer." You sure we got the right address? Well, Tompkins is not your, you know, usual drug dealer. He runs a very efficient business. Well, I mean, he has to have slipped up somewhere. Otherwise he wouldn't be in the database. Well, he was charged, but he was never convicted, you know? Like I said, he's very careful. (doorbell ringing) Yo. (doorbell rings) (whistles) Jake Tompkins? FBI. Special Agent Seeley Booth. Special Agent James Aubrey. How can I help you? Ask you a few questions. When was the last time you saw Aldo Clemens? Sorry, don't know him. Look at the photo, Jake, okay? Clemens was found dead this morning. We know that you were his dealer. Okay. I think we're done here. I don't know anything about drugs. And just so we're super clear on that, I'm gonna go call my lawyer. Thanks. Okay, you do that. You call your lawyer, and he'll get you out in no time. But that's when I get started. What is that supposed to mean? I'll be all over you. Whatever you do, buy, sell, I'll be watching you. That's actually called harassment. It is. It's called harassment. You really want to do that to your business, Jake? Look, we're just after whoever actually killed Aldo Clemens. My hunch is killing isn't exactly your thing. Answer some questions, I'll be out of your life. I might have known this guy. If I did, I would have dropped him as a client months ago. He run out of money? No. They always find the money. Aldo... had become a risk. Some guy was following him, so I cut him off. Who was following Aldo? You got a name? I can't even tell you what he looked like. He was some guy in a crappy car. I thought he was a cop. He drove by a few times. He never got out of the car. Sorry. I wish I could be more help. Yeah, well, actually, you know what, you can. What are you doing? This is one of those video doorbells that record you, right? Yes, it is. Do you know how much that thing cost me? A lot. They're very expensive. But it's good for you, because then it'll confirm your story. Thank you very much for this. Hey. Honey, let's go home. It's late. Mm-hmm. I'm almost finished. I'm gonna be done in a second. Oh, no, you won't. Do not tell me that you are operating on a silverfish. Well, it's more like a scenic journey through his digestive tract. Okay. I'll be in my office. Hold on, Angie. Look what I found. Oh. Wow, that's actually kind of beautiful. Right? So, this is just the sort of saccharide most silverfish love to munch on. In this case, it's a highly magnified particulate of professional grade acoustic foam. So if that bug hitched a ride on Aldo's body... We need to call Booth. Uh, Brennan said Booth's busy. What, too busy to hear about this? Trust me, it's important. (crickets chirping) Sergeant. It's been a while. Yeah, too long. I wish it was for a different occasion. Yeah, me, too. Who killed him, Seeley? I don't know, Dave, but I'm gonna find out. Need my help? No, I'm good. But either of you two, uh, ever hear from Aldo before he, uh, went missing? Not me. He wasn't easy to find. All right, well, if you hear anything, just let me know. It's my job now to take care of things, okay? Sure, Booth, we'll sit and wait for that to happen. You know what, Ted, I'm not here to get into this with you right now. This is about Aldo. Guess that's what it takes-- one of us dying before he comes around here. Oh, come on, Ted, you know he had nothing to do with Father Clemens' murder. Yeah. What did Booth do to help him stay alive? Not enough. We all could have been more in touch with him. DAVE: He's the reason that we're all home. At least for me, I'm grateful. For what? You moved on, started a family. It wasn't that easy for the rest of us. Look, Ted, I can't make up for not being around, okay? But I'm here now. It's too late for that. I'm done with you, like you were done with all of us. (crickets chirping) It's very late. I didn't hear you come in. Well, I wanted to let you sleep. It didn't go well with the men? These guys saw hell. You know, most of them are still paying the price. You feel the effects of war, too, Booth. Yeah. Yeah, but I got lucky. I got a great family and great life. Got all this. You're an addict, just like Aldo. Yeah. Unlike him, you got help. Yeah. But you're in my corner. That's the difference. Aldo had no one. (beeping) Hey. I just, uh, dropped off Jessica. And, let me guess, you thought you might check in to see what I'm getting from Tompkins' video doorbell. Looks like it's rough going. I thought those things actually worked. They do. They record everyone that comes to the door. But it's got such a small hard drive, so, once it's full, it just records over itself. So it's useless. Well, no, not exactly. Stuff doesn't actually disappear. It just gets jumbled. I was able to plug in this facial recognition software to isolate the times that Aldo came to the house. Is that him? I can't see it. Oh, uh, that's because you're not looking at Aldo. You're looking at what's behind him. I'm trying to isolate the car that was following him. AUBREY: Well, that's a few too many times to be a coincidence. Yeah, agreed. Now we just have to figure out who was driving it. BRENNAN: Ms. Warren. You wanted to see me? I was reexamining the spinal column, and I found these fractures on the C1 and C2. They suggest that the vertebrae were severely displaced. Which indicates a hyperflexion fracture. The neck was snapped at the C2 vertebra. That would cause complete paralysis of all muscles below the brain stem. Yes. The lungs cease functioning, resulting in a complete loss of oxygen to the brain. Cause of death wasn't exsanguination. It was this fracture. Uh, Dr. Brennan. Yes? Didn't your father come back into your life after spending years as a fugitive? You're concerned about what Aubrey will do if he finally comes face-to-face with his dad? How can he live with himself if he turns in his own father? My father had abandoned me and my brother, he was a fugitive from justice. I... I certainly never anticipated that we would manage to have a positive relationship. How did you make that happen? By opening myself to the fact that... his actions, while partially his fault, were necessitated by events. He's a much better man than the one I had built him up to be. So there's a chance that could happen for Aubrey? Statistically, there's always a chance, Ms. Warren. There's been another sighting. Where? Uh, it's a financial record. Tell me, is there any difference between a latte and a latte macchiato? Wait, wait, wait, I don't understand how a financial record is a sighting. We'll get to that. With a latte, you add your espresso shot to the steamed milk, the, uh, the macchiato, it's the reverse. And you taste the difference? Absolutely. I don't buy it. So... where was he seen? Well, we have good evidence, but not eyewitnesses, from a wire office in Atlanta. There was a transfer for $9,000 from an overseas account that's tied to an alias previously used by Philip Aubrey. All right. Small office, high volume. Clientele is primarily alien laborers. And the amount transferred is just a hair under the FDIC notification threshold. That's definitely him. Now he's got cash. He may go under. (phone rings) He's here for a reason. He's making his way north. He'll surface. Aubrey. Hey, so I was able to filter out most of the visual noise from the doorbell video. Did you find the vehicle that was following Aldo? Yeah, I'll send you a link. It's a '97 Intrepid. Did you get a plate number? I couldn't from this angle, so I went through all the traffic cams in the area. The car belongs to Ted McKinney. He's former military. He actually served in Booth's unit. Booth's not gonna like this. Me either, Cher. That is not something I wanted to see. If you think I killed Aldo, you're nuts. I don't know what to think. Why were you following him? That's my business. Well, you're in here, so it becomes my business now. You really think Booth's the guy for this? They have a history. I can't think of anyone better. BOOTH: Recognize that car? It might be mine. It might be yours. Oh, I think it's yours, 'cause that is you inside of the car. Following Aldo. That's not true. "That's not true?" Come on. Ted, look at this. I can pull all these video stills up. Come on, we have enough here to build a case. Do you want to tell me what's going on? What happened that night? Okay, I needed him. I needed someone and he wouldn't even talk to me. I understand, all right? You felt abandoned. No one was there for you. No one was there to listen, not even Aldo. Like I didn't even exist. Look, just tell me... what happened that night, okay? I can help you, no matter what you did. (sniffs) I didn't kill Aldo. I did something worse. What's worse than killing? I went looking for him in Bellevue. He started to go there to buy his drugs. I didn't know what I was gonna do. Then, as I'm watching him, someone pulls up. The driver gets out and jumps Aldo. Who was it? I don't know. Come on, Ted, look at me. You have to remember who this was. It could save you. Whatever happens, I deserve. Because I froze. I didn't help him. Aldo got taken and I just let it happen, like-like I wasn't even there. CAM: McKinney served with Aldo and those men trust each other with their lives. How could he just watch Aldo get taken and not try to help? I don't know, but Booth believes he's telling the truth. Did McKinney see anything that we can use? Nothing specific. No plate numbers, no physical characteristics. But he did say that it was clean, precise, perfectly executed. Perhaps someone else with military training. Well, which means it's possible one of the other men in his unit is responsible. You think? Well... they carry anger, they are taught to kill. There are many recountings, starting with ancient Greeks, of returning warriors murdering those they are closest to. WARREN: Dr. Brennan? What is it, Ms. Warren? There's something you really need to see. I re-examined the impact fractures on the left eighth and ninth ribs. How did your perception of the fractures change? It didn't. They're exactly the same. But, look at these rat bites on the anterior plane of the affected sternal ribs. They are deeper and closer together than the other rat bites which you've catalogued. That's what I thought. BRENNAN: They appear to be both peri and antemortem. Did you run an immunohistochemical test? I did. It came back positive for fibrin clots and new bone deposition. There is only one very likely interpretation. What do you think that is? That the victim was alive while the rats were eating his torso. That is, indeed, the most likely possibility. I've seen a lot of things, but this? For the rats to get inside the ribs like that, it's... truly horrifying. There's no better word for it. Note... the contusions on the anterior sternal seventh and tenth ribs. I catalogued those as defensive wounds. That is understandable. The pattern is also consistent with a cage being pressed up against that section of the torso. It originated in the Middle Ages. The cage would be filled with rats One end of it is heated, so the animals are forced to burrow into the body of the still-living victim. There must be hundreds of bites. Which indicates that Aldo Clemens was tortured for an extended period of time. BOOTH: McKinney said that Aldo went to buy heroin in Bellevue. And if he's telling the truth... He's telling the truth. ...then he wouldn't have any trouble finding product. It's low quality, but there's plenty of it and the dealers aren't too picky. Has no one here read the report? Yeah, we read it. Your close friend was tortured with rats. That is something we need to discuss. Look, what do you say? I was hoping you would have the words. For something like this, there's not much you really can say. We just... we move on. And we keep looking till we find this guy, and we don't stop. That was just right, Seeley, I knew you would have it. I've been reading about this kind of torture. They say it still exists in the Balkans and parts of the Middle East. Yeah, I heard of it. Your unit served in both. McKinney was there. No chance McKinney did it. Look, the guy doesn't have a alibi. He's impulsive and he's angry. He's too angry to have done it. CAROLINE: I agree with Booth. This was controlled. It took planning. McKinney's not capable of that. Take a look at this, huh? Look at those tire marks. AUBREY: They're fresh. Yeah. McKinney was parked there, a half block away. Then it makes sense that these tire marks are from the car that took Aldo. The tracks run north. There's a highway on-ramp three blocks away. No way he took it. How do you know that? Because he's planned. He thinks of everything. He's calculated, okay? There's no way he's gonna take the highway. I mean, there's surveillance cameras all over the place. CAROLINE: That explains why we have next to nothing to work with. Ah, not true, we know how he thinks. What does that get us? We know that he takes the road less travelled, Aubrey. We find that road, we find him. And we don't stop, got it? So let's keep looking. Let's find him. MONTENEGRO: So, I used Booth's theory that whoever took Aldo based their route on avoiding surveillance. Every turn they took was weighted towards avoiding cameras and crowds. CAM: That is elegant. But what happens when there's more than one equal choice? Yeah, well... it gets less and less useful. This is now out of control. Well, at least it gives us a general direction. Hey, I swabbed the perimortem striations on the ribs. The rat bites? Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, rat teeth never stop growing. Which means they're always having to gnaw on something just to keep them the right length. Good to know. What were they gnawing on? I don't know. I found, uh, particulates of lead paint, so maybe they were gnawing on some cabinets, looking for food. When was lead paint banned? (beeping) 1978. So-so, we've got professional-grade acoustic foam and lead paint. We need to be looking for a sound studio built before 1978. Somewhere northwest of Bellevue. Right, but it would have to be near Rock Creek Park, because they had to get that body back there by morning. (Cam sighs) That's still a few square miles. Well, if it's a studio, it's likely to be abandoned. That looks like an industrial park. Well, it was, but now it's slated for demolition. I'll call Booth. (glass breaks) BOOTH: Looks like this is where he set up shop. Look at all this stuff. Booth? Yeah? Look at this. There's parish records. News clippings about Aldo. Discharge documents... This X-ray is not Aldo's. It's of somebody else. How do you know? There's a stellate-shaped wound directly above the right squamosal suture. Gunshot? Yes. The extent of the damage indicates a high powered rifle. Perfectly placed. Not too many people can make that shot. BRENNAN: The writing is Cyrillic. Serbian. That is correct. Where are you going? Over here. Going behind door number two. Look at this. This is not good. (clears throat) BRENNAN: Oh... This is blood. Aldo's? We can't be completely sure, there are tests... Look at that, Bones. Look. That's the cage. (Brennan groans) Cam will want to do blood spatter analysis as soon as possible. (camera snapping) Bones. I need to finish... No, look. Look! Booth, that's a bomb! BOOTH: We got to go, now. (grunting) (gasping) (Brennan groaning) Crews are still battling the blaze at an abandoned office complex in Anacostia. The cause of the fire is undetermined, but fire marshals suspect the strong possibility of arson. Booth says it was an IED. Yeah, but do IEDs usually take this long to burn off? HODGINS: No, Booth saw Jerry Cans of gas. My hunch is it was powered by a petroleum gel. It sticks to everything and burns at over 2,000 degrees. Which means there won't be much left. Close to zilch. Whoa, Dr. B. Oh, my God. What are you doing here? My work. SAROYAN: W-We can handle this. You should be home. Yeah, at the very least, you shouldn't be watching this. It must have been terrible, huh? It was unpleasant. And losing the opportunity to examine vital evidence makes it more so. Right. Well, I uploaded the photos that you sent. My theory is that Aldo Clemens died on that table. Why torture him so horribly, but end it with a relatively quick, humane death? Maybe he got the information he wanted. Maybe. But there's a cruelty to this killer, it doesn't fit. BRENNAN: I agree. Cause of death was a transected cervical spinal cord. We need to understand how that was done. Okay, well, all we have is a bloodstained table and a few strips of duct tape. I have enhanced the stains here. Well, the largest concentration of blood will be where the rat cage was fixed to the ribs. Can you align the body accordingly? Yeah, I'll center the stain on the eighth and ninth rib. The remaining tape matches up with the arms and legs. Uh, this doesn't make sense. The skull would need more range of motion for the spinal column to be transected. Okay, let me recreate the fracture to the C2. SAROYAN: You're right. His skull would have had to go right through the table. The body is in the wrong position. Was that tape torn? I'm sure this is important. But why? Because if I'm the killer and I want to get a dead body off my table, I'd cut the tape. BRENNAN: It was torn. Which suggests Aldo tried to break free. So perhaps he was killed somewhere else. They're at the sound studio, combing through the wreckage. What's left? What's left is you could fit into a beer can, that's what's left. So we're back where we started. Who is this guy? And why did he target Aldo Clemens? Yeah. (phone ringing) Hold on. (Booth groans) (phone beeps) Yeah? There's one possible explanation for how Aldo died. Well, look, does it get us any closer to finding out who killed him? Well, let me show you what we have. All right, hold on. What do you got? (sighs) BRENNAN: From the position of the body and the fractures, the killer couldn't have snapped Aldo's neck while he was restrained. So what's left? SAROYAN: The most likely explanation is that Aldo killed himself. He was fastened to the table by duct tape, but he managed to loosen it. MONTENEGRO: Not enough to escape, but enough to give him some range of movement. If he pushed himself back onto the table, he could raise his upper torso, which made it possible for him to generate a whiplike motion. And sever his spinal cord. I don't know. The man was once a priest. And suicide is a cardinal sin. It wasn't a suicide. Booth, the facts clearly indicate that it was. A sacrifice, it was a sacrifice. "Sacrifice"? He was trying to protect someone. ♪ If you figure me out ♪ ♪ You better keep your mouth shut ♪ ♪ You can see I'm livin' in my orange tree now ♪ ♪ And if you figure it out ♪ ♪ I will come down and show you my face ♪ AUBREY: Look, so, um, sorry that I haven't been exactly present. JESSICA: Oh, well, we've all been working hard. I haven't been that available, either. (chuckles) No, I'm talking mentally present. I've been distracted. Oh, yeah, it's-- it's about your father. No, I-I understand. You must be worried about what happens when they find him. I am. It's not as cut and dry as I thought it was gonna be. Well, I'm glad you're seeing that now. (exhales forcefully) Look, there's something else that I've been thinking about. I want you to know that... I'm not him. Uh, I know that, Aubrey. (chuckles anxiously) He left his wife, he left me. You know, I would-- I would never ever do that. What are you saying? I'm saying that... when I commit to something, it's real. That I'm serious about us. Did I say the wrong thing? No. Of course not, Aubrey... (sighs) ...but there's a lot going on. I know. And when it's all taken care of, I'm gonna feel the same way. BRENNAN: I know this is difficult, Booth, but... (groans) ...you're gonna get through it. Yeah, sounds like something Aldo would have said. He was right. (Booth groans) Yeah, but this is different. Bones, he, um... he died... 'cause he was trying to protect me. What do you mean? You know that X-ray that we saw in the sound studio? I know who that was. There was no name on it. I looked for that. He died of a gunshot wound in the head. Center core. 3,000 feet away. I'm the one who made that shot. That is a ridiculous assumption. There are other snipers capable... Bosnia. 1995. The general-- remember, I told you about him? The warlord that you had to shoot. You saved a lot of lives doing that. I killed him... I, uh... I killed him right in front of his own son. He's got allies and family. This is about revenge. You-you can't know that, Booth. It was just one X-ray. I mean, Aldo knew that I was the shooter. He killed himself so he wouldn't have to give me up. That's one possibility. There are others. It's the only thing that makes sense, Bones. And whoever this is, they're not gonna stop until... What should we do? Just be ready. == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man Previously on "Somewhere Between"... For one to live, one must die. Mommy's coming, angel. I came back. To eight days before. Why am I the one under arrest? She's the one who attacked me. He's a trophy keeper. All I'm asking for is the code to the lock on DeBray's apartment. These could be trophies he took from the first five victims. I've never seen either of these. I'm so sorry. You know I have no choice. I have to order the release of the detainee. If you live, my daughter dies. - We'll call Jenny. - She'll stay on top of Haskell. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why is your hand on my person? You, as a person of interest in this screwedup case, aren't going anywhere until I get answers. Laura. Thank you, Jenny. You'll follow him home? You won't take your eyes off of him? Cross my heart. He's out. Down, girl. Down. I'm gonna sit by Mimi's bed in that hospital. I'm not moving till she comes to and I.D.'s him. Nico and a chick who should probably be committed... that's nothing new. What's new is one who's worth the trouble. Good luck at the hospital. Yeah, thanks. Welcome home, dirtbag. - Hello, officer. - Ma'am. Ma'am. Is this Mimi's room? - She can't have visitors, ma'am. - I'm a friend. I'd like to be there when she wakes up. Well, you're welcome to wait out here. Please tell me if she opens her eyes. And one was fired from the police for the brutal beating of a citizen. You're just picking on me 'cause Mrs. Price is too scary for you. I'm picking on you because Mrs. Price is untouchable. Look, I want to crush this guy as much as you do, so help me out here and give up your source. And no wiseass, so help me. Okay. I couldn't tell you this before because the reason I know the stuff that I do is not just a crime... It's a sin. I've been doing something mega skeezy... even for me. I've been going down to St. Joseph's church and acting like a priest, in the confessional, to get secrets I can do something with, you know? Well, last week, DeBray comes in, and he starts telling me what his plan is, and if I... An uninformed observer might look at it this way: Disgraced excop steals a motorcycle, winds up in an alley where a girl turns up dead. Next night, commits violent assault in an apartment where a girl turns up all but dead. So, you want to help me out here, or you want me to act uninformed? Inspector Kupner, do you want to come in here and write up Mr. Jackson on charges of vehicular theft, please? Won't be the first time you interpreted the facts to suit the needs of the moment. Really? Are we still there? Five years, we ever left "there"? Look, if you are still blaming me for, what... not "cutting you some slack," not "fixing" it for you, then you are not the man that I still, on no evidence whatsoever, think that you are. 1079. All personnel... 1079. - What's a 1079? - Bomb threat. You'll need to evacuate the building, ma'am. Please proceed to the fire exit and follow staff directions out of the building. I have to stay with my friend. Everyone who's mobile has to go. We'll be moving the patients out as quickly as we can. There is no bomb. It's Haskell DeBray. This is how he works. I will not leave her side. Come along now. Hey! Second floor! The cops want to talk to you! What do you want? - Where's DeBray? - I don't know. He came by to say hello, and then he took off. That's not his apartment? Why would I be in his apartment? Should I sing you a lullaby? Like your little boy never heard from you? Help! Help! No! Why don't you talk to her? Why don't you find out why she's been stalking me? Why were you at the hospital, Mrs. Price? I'm a news producer. I go where the story is. Is he clear to go? Yeah, I'll discharge him. Good. In that case, Haskell DeBray, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of Mimi Halderman. You have the right to remain silent... I have no plans to remain silent. But I'll only talk to one person. - Me? - And then he literally zipped his lips and threw away the key. What's he gonna tell you? What, am I a fortune teller? You gonna put him in a room with me? Stripped, bound, and shackled. I told him nobody would be listening, but I was lying. Man of the hour. Who's speaking? You have zero idea what he wants to tell you? Invite me to Ruby's talent show? Where are you? Market, crossing Geary. DeBray's in the car ahead of me with Sarneau. All right, I'll see you in 30 seconds. I'm headed out the door. If you want to shoot me in the back, my spinal column starts right here. Get an ambulance! Stand back, sir. Hey, hey! What did you have to tell me? They stopped looking for... ffor me. Who did? Who? They didn't keep looking... Who didn't keep looking? The whole world's looking for you. Who? Hey! Hey! He... He took mine, so I... I took care of his... Why did you want to kill Serena? I didn't... get... Why? Hey. Hey, hey. Listen, look at me. Look at me. Why such a frowny face? We just beat fate's ass to the ground. Guy on the motorcycle... DeBray could have a partner, and the partner could have shot him to stop him from talking. Hey, Cupcake! Tell the lady what you just told me. We tracked the bike. Registered to a David Loquasto. He was in here earlier today to I.D. the jewelry. His sister was the fifth victim. I've never seen either of these. We couldn't stop the man who killed his sister, so he took care of it. See? You still holding me, Captain? Case closed. What'd I tell you? Not a partner. Revenge. My baby's gonna live. Yeah. Long enough to turn into a teenager and make you wish otherwise. Don't forget about Mimi. She didn't die. No. We saved her, too. My God. Your brother. This time, the governor won't have Serena to use as P.R. He won't have to die. We did it. We sure did. My husband must be sending out a search party by now. I left my car at the hospital. Will you take me? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey. Friends don't let friends drive in a state of shock. I'll drive you home. They stopped looking for me. They stopped looking for me. They stopped looking for me. Does this have anything to do with Ruby? No, it's... It's the police. That's who's supposed to look for guys like... him. Seat belt's stuck. - Thanks for the ride. - Hold on, wait. - I'll walk you. - That's okay. If I let a girl walk herself to the door on a dark night, I'd have to commit ritual suicide. You don't want my death on your conscience, do you? Or your blood on my sidewalk. Yeah. Well, hold on, hold on. Hey, you think if I keep telling myself it's over, I'll actually believe it? You'll be sorry if it's over. No more running around crazy in the streets with roguishly handsome me. Have you always found yourself so entertaining? Come on. Admit it. I amuse the stuffing out of you. My stuffing's perfectly in place. You know what I'll miss? Knowing what's gonna happen. It made me feel... godlike. That's nothing new for you. Well, I, guess I'll see you next time the universe decides to break all its rules on your behalf. Yeah, next time. Goodbye. Nico. Yeah? What did the guy do? What guy? On the video, the one that got you kicked off the force? In the modern world, there's nowhere to hide, is there? - I'm sorry. I shouldn't... - It was a meth factory... in a house in El Sobrante. Guy just... escaped a cooking accident. Place went up in a fireball. Too bad his girlfriend and kid that he left behind did not survive the inferno. Too bad for my career with the police department I let my... my disapproval of his behavior get the better of me. If it were me, I wouldn't have been kicked off the force for assaulting him. - No? - No. I would've gone down for murder. It was close. Goodbye, Mrs. Price. Good night. Hey, Nico. Even now, hours after the shooting took place, the entire area surrounding the station has been completely cordoned off. We have word that the police are actively pursuing the alleged shooter. Until an arrest is made, neither his identity nor the identity... Did you get a look at the shooter? Could you just hold me? Please? I'm sorry. I've been crazy with this story. But it's over now. It's done. Is it over for Nico Jackson? I need you to trust me that nothing happened and that I'm done running around being certifiably insane. If there's something you don't have... that you're searching for out there... I want you to find it right here. There's some music that you need to face. As in the entire San Francisco Symphony with extra brass and a choir... 112 text messages. - My God. - They all want interviews. Chronicle... Reader... KJNA... Promise me you won't tell anyone where I'm hiding. You can't hide. But... You can run? What do you say we... change our names, blow this town, start a new adventure? You mean, like, run a boat charter in Fiji? Be mountain guides in the Alps. Freedom fighters in the Sudan. Ooh. Ha ha! No. Cartoons instead of math homework. Do I hear the thundering crash of a Laurasaurus on the rampage? Laurasaurus was about to go on a rampage... Yeah? But then she was distracted by the deep, musky scent of a T.Rex on the hunt. T.Rex forgot all about his prey... and gently, firmly... took hold of the Laurasaurus... in his powerful jaws... Coming up, Teacher of the Year turns Killer of the Year... - My God! - Gives him a failing grade. Haskell DeBray's coworkers are in shock, describing him as quiet but fiercely loyal. Serena, since when do you watch the news? They're releasing Jesse's new video today, and I thought maybe they'd show some of it. Well, how about this? While we're waiting for the video to drop, remember, before Christmas, those Mexican hotchocolate cookies we were supposed to make, only somebody was, um, too busy at work? Today, we are going to bake enough cookies to make Santa Claus beg us to stop. Hoho! Captain Kendra Sarneau was quick to give credit to the coroner at the scene. Up. You've always hated me. The confession, sewn into DeBray's jacket, revealed that he had been targeting mothers who had, in his view, abandoned their children. Records now confirm that several of his victims had, in fact, given their children up for adoption. This is when Ruby finds out the teacher she loves is a killing machine. This is when a normal uncle would drop in on his niece. Well, there'd be drawing instead of math and tree climbing instead of sports and... No, they'd never have that. No, go ahead, say it. We're talking about the perfect dream of a school. - Okay. - Animals instead of science. Chickens and mice and iguanas. This is pretend, right? No, angel, this is real. I am going to find you a school with trees and frogs and eggs to gather. And maybe just a little bit of math, because you do need that, too. But... not too much, okay? It's Auntie Mara. Can I say hello? Of course. I miss you, Auntie Mara. I miss you to smithereens, little one. Are they torturing you to make me do an interview? With hot needles. Tell them three minutes, no questions about Tom, and, I'll call it an exclusive, tell the rest of the world to suck eggs. - Mommy! Language! - Acceptable! Borderline. I'm on my way. - But after I make these cookies. - Okay, bye. This tough cookie. You... Maybe we should just eat the batter. That's my favorite part. What do you think? Hey, Ruby Tuesday. It's me. Come in. I keep refreshing and refreshing to see if they put up the new video yet, but they keep not putting it up, and it's very frustrating. They'll put it up soon. They're just trying to build suspense. Hey, I brought you a present. The person who made it loves her little boy very much, and she put that love into every stitch. So when you wear it, maybe you'll feel the love, too. You want to try it on? - Thanks, Uncle Nico. - Come here. Sweetheart, love ya. I came to tell you I'm sorry about your teacher. Someone can be a good person and a bad person all at the same time. They have to know that everybody in the world is waiting, so why don't they just put it up already? It's very, very, very, very frustrating. How's she gonna feel when her daddy's gone, too? You have to help him. Mom, I think it's gonna go better this time. Which time? What are you talking about? III... I didn't want to tell you this, because I was afraid you'd get angry, but... I have to. You know how they never found Susanna's scarf? Burned up in the fire. No. I saw it... two days ago. - Mom... - The D.A.'s little girl was waving it out her window like it was aa toy. Okay, Mom, one, there's more than one yellow scarf in the world. Two, why would the D.A. give his kid 10yearold evidence to play with? And, three... the really big three... you can't stalk the District Attorney's family. It was Susanna's scarf. Look, I'm like you, Mom. Worried sick how Ruby's gonna feel when her teacher dies and her grandmother goes to prison all in the same week. Tell Ruby I'll call her later. Mom, stay away from the District Attorney's family. Okay? This time, the horse comes back, he's got a blond that's like 10 times hotter than the brunette, right? And the bandit's like, "Okay, cowboy, you got one more wish, then you die." And the cowboy's like, "I think I better talk to my horse again." He goes, grabs him by the ears, and he goes, "You dumb lousy animal! I said posse!" Well, I guess what happened is what every reporter dreams of... being in the right place at the right time. Or the wrong and the wrong, in this case. And will the police be questioning you as a witness to the murder? Revenge killing. And, yes, I think so. Which would be a good reason for us to stop right here. - We good? - Yeah. - That's great. - Thank you. - Appreciate it, Laura. - Thanks, guys. Thanks. Hey. Hey, angel. That looks great. What's going on with you? And don't tell me everything's fine. There is nothing. You are projecting. Which is exactly what you said when Mr. Nose Hair maxed out your credit cards and took off with the gardener. You swore on your father's grave that you would not bring that up again. Desperate times, desperate measures. Is it that guy you're seeing? Mystery man? - Who else? - You need to end it with this guy. It's not gonna get any better. If I could do that, don't you think I would have? Laura, you have no idea. Did you terminate a pregnancy? How did you know that? I know. Did the father pressure you to do it? Out loud? No, he would never. But, he did make it clear that if I didn't, I would be twisting in the wind. I just keep thinking about this little munchkin that I'm never gonna see and who's never gonna skin her knee, who's never gonna have her first kiss... I believe in a just universe. One of these days, he is gonna pay. - You deserve better. - Excuse me. Mara? We just got the citizen video on the DeBray killing. Will you come help me log it? - Yeah. - Okay. I'll stay and go through it with you. - The video or my trauma? - Both. What is your desire, master? Okay, that is a long list, but for now, if you noticed anything unusual the other night, when the families viewed the evidence, that would be a great start. Come to think of it, there was this one thing. The new haircut is dreamy. Look, there's not a single thing funny about this, so sit down and shut up. All right, what do you got? The jewelry went poof. Never made it to the lockup. Did you see anyone hanging around that cart? Sorry. Long gone to eBay, bro. Get your piece of a bona fide sociopath. You know what I'm not? - What? - Surprised. I'm having serious concerns about the integrity of law enforcement right about now. And the crapstorm keeps on coming. Victim's brother was at a wedding in Carmel, and he's in all the pictures. He didn't shoot DeBray? Came home and found his motorcycle stolen. It's not revenge. It's a partner. What? I got to go, but new haircut is dreamy. Roll the citizen video. They're just loading DeBray's body on the gurney. Can you stop right there? Hey, guys. Do you got anything good here for me? Hitandrun, worked with specialneeds kids, won Teacher of the Year... great humaninterest story. Not for us. It's the same shirt. That was Haskell DeBray. He was already dead. Who was? Don't let Serena out of your sight. Hey. Look up. - What? - Look up. What are you doing here? Brother wasn't the shooter. That was a decoy. The brother was somewhere else. It's worse than that. DeBray was killed five days before Serena disappeared the first time, in a hitandrun. I saw the footage. It was him, Nico. DeBray isn't the one who's going to kill my baby. The real killer is still out there. It's not over. You can just get into traffic cameras, just like that? - Public access to public security. - Mmhmm. That was the guy we're tracking? - Yeah, backwards, from the police station. - Okay. Shooting happened a couple minutes before 12:00. Go for something on... Broadway and Van Ness. Hey. Mimi's vitals are Aokay, getting Aokay'er. As long as she's breathing, we've got fate up against the ropes. There he is. All right, so the bike was stolen in Emeryville. Head back towards the Bay Bridge. Okay. There's your man. Go to the toll plaza. - There! - Yes! Okay, the wrist. Can you max that image? Can I max that image... What can you tell from a tattoo, or whatever that is? You're looking at a guy that solved a triple murder in Cole Valley off a bent coke spoon. Can you make that any clearer? Not with the tools at hand. All right, send me a screen cap. I'll send it to Jenny. She'll work on it. Go back to where he stole the bike... Hollis and 38th. He had to have put on the helmet somewhere. All right, so, here he is at 60th... 57th... That's weird. Okay. It's okay. I'll get him at 48th. Is the camera broken? No, they're different cameras. Go back to 60th. What? Somebody's erasing this... right now. What do you mean, "right now"? I mean, like, right now, while we're doing this, somebody else is in the system, and they are wiping pixels. They're going backwards, just like we are. Okay, okay, all right. Relax. Go back to the toll booths. Anybody can peep and creep, but to delete? I mean, this is somebody with some serious access. Yeah, "somebody." We got a killer happening to know DeBray was headed back to the police station. That and magical disappearing evidence... Yes, it's about the police. But it's also about Serena. You want to walk me through that? Whoever killed Serena pretended to be DeBray when he called in to my show, to throw everyone off. Are you with me? So far. So how did he know that a proud serial killer wouldn't just pop up and say, "That wasn't me" and ruin his plan? It's a bit of a leap that a proud serial killer would do that. Yes, but it's a possibility. So what's the real killer's only way to be 100% sure that wasn't gonna happen? Kill Haskell DeBray. And what happened to Haskell DeBray the first time? Killed in a hitandrun, five days before Serena was killed. We don't know if that was murder. Either way, he told no tales. Okay. So, either you're drinking the opiumlaced KoolAid, or the guy that shot Haskell DeBray also wants to... kill Serena. And the only leads we have are a blurry video and your theory. That somewhere out there, there's a cop who knows what's under that helmet. We got to go to someone who can find that cop. Who is this "someone" to whom a citizen can "go" that isn't so far up the cop's ass you need a digging crew to find them? There's only one person, And he's got the best investigators in the state. The footage disappeared while you were looking at it? Who has the access to do that? Only the police. And the shooting? Besides me, only the police knew where DeBray was headed. You're leveling quite an accusation, Laura. That's not the worst part. The jewelry from DeBray's apartment never made it to lockup. It's gone. Well, DeBray is dead. What does somebody gain from stealing that evidence? I don't know. But whatever these people are trying to hide, the man who shot Haskell DeBray is out there. Tom, if you nail the dirty cop and get him to talk, you can catch the killer before he kills someone else. Then I'm gonna have to nail him, aren't I? It goes without saying this stays in this room, right? - Yeah. - Of course. Good. Good. Okay, Janet? Serena, how about we take you home, little lady, and we have taco night at the ranch? - I make the guacamole. - Deal. Captain Nico, you come, too. Sorry, Serena. Captain Nico's got to catch a couple more bad guys before I can have a taco. Janet, can you have them bring up my car? Of course. Look at that face. And he's even more beautiful in person. Whoa, whoa! Wait a minute. You know Jesse? From when he came into the office. Swoon. He let me take my picture with him. Yeah, there he is. Thanks, Janet. You met Jesse, and you didn't tell me? What was he doing here? Sometimes when famous people have trouble with fans, they come to us for help. And that is all I can say because of...? Confidentiality. That's my little lawyer. Okay. IAndiamos comer tacos! Hey, thanks for hearing us out, Mr. Price. You be good, Serena, or you know who's gonna hear about it? Captain Nico! Hang on one second, sweetie. Mr. Jackson. If there were anything I could do to ease your family's pain, I would do it. So I hope I can count on you not to pursue the matter through my wife. Sure thing, Mr. Price. 'Cause you and me, we both know how important it is to be able to count on somebody. There's nothing there. I can hit three buttons right now and tell you what street vendor in Shanghai serves the juiciest sheng jian bao. NASA can tell me what every rock on every moon of Jupiter has for lunch. Somewhere out there, there is software that can pull an image out of that blur and save a little girl's life. Find it, or in five days, Serena Price drowns in Black Pine Cove. Good morning, muffin. I'm fancier than a muffin. I'm a croissant. I know what kind of croissant you are... ham and cheese! A vegetarian can't be ham and cheese. I'm chocolate. Two chocolate croissants, please. - Coming right up. - Yeah! - Yeah! - I'll go get some. Yay! Hey, you know you're gonna have to make them yourself when we run away to Fiji. Did you get that call yet from your office about... I've got my Aplus investigators on it. Gonna hear something soon, okay? I will be right back. Yay! We love you, Mommy. Love you guys. Sorry. No, no. Hey! Serena! Serena, did somebody come in here? A messenger was here. He brought something for Daddy. - What? - A yellow envelope. You know, like this. The kind he always gets from the office. Okay. I'll be right back, okay? Why is the door locked? Sorry. Reflex. Hey. That was the man who shot Haskell. - Who was? - The messenger who was just here. - What'd he bring you? - You're joking, right? No. It was him. That was his helmet and his jacket. I'm sorry, I'm not following. Ils there a reason an assassin would be delivering packages to me at home? He was here, so you tell me. III will take this as some kind of a reaction to the trauma of what you saw, and I will ask you... Did you see the man's face at the shooting? No. - Did you see it today? - No, he was wearing a helmet. Was there something distinctive about that helmet or that jacket which tells you it was the same man? No. There wasn't. Okay, then. Do you feel better? Yeah. So, what was the delivery? From the office, some files. Why? I've been expecting something from work. You didn't get an envelope for me? No, babe, just that. I'll come down in five minutes, have the croissants with you guys. I'm Just gonna finish up with some emails, okay? Okay. - 24 - LEGACY Previosly on - 24 - Six months ago, u.S. Special forces launched an assault on the compound of Ibrahim bin-Khalid, killing him and eight members of his terrorist organization. Decorated Army Ranger Eric Carter Bin-khalid's people found us. Where is it? A strongbox that belongs to sheik bin-Khalid, taken from his compound the night your squad came and killed him. - Carter? - We're blown, the whole team. Grimes and I are the only ones left. Former CTU Director Rebecca Ingram Three people had access - the directors of CIA, NSA and CTU, which is now Keith Mullins. You're the one who chose me as your replacement. You need to trust me to do the job. Rebecca, what is this? IsRebeccahaving second thoughts about giving up her career? - You're gonna make a great first lady. Senator John Donovan Maybe part of her doesn't want you to win and have everything change. You're overstepping. I think Amira's gonna do something bad, violent here at the school. - Drew saw our messages. - What? Amira Dudayev He thinks you are planning an attack at the school with someone, he doesn't know it's with me. What are we doing here? I'm getting you safe. Nicole Carter Isaac's not on anyone's books, he's got guns, he's got men, he can protect you. You think because he's your brother he's just gonna forget what happened? There is something inside that box and they're after it, so where is it? Ben Grimes What is it? It's a list. Sleeper cells. These codes go out, they launch attacks all over the country. Where's the chip? Government wants this list, They're gonna have to pay up. Please don't do this. Ben! THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 1:00PM AND 2:00PM THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 1:00PM AND 2:00PM Events occur in real time Events occur in real time starring Corey Hawkins Miranda Otto Anna Diop Teddy Sears Ashley Thomas Dan Bucatinsky Coral Pena Charlie Hofheimer Sheila Vand Jimmy Smits Tiffany Hines Zayne Emory Raphael Acloque Carlos Bernard Renah Gallagher Tammie Marie Vaughan Jesse Malinowski Bailey Chase Hajji Golightly director Jon Cassar written by Manny Coto Evan Katz created by Evan Katz Manny Coto Rebecca, It's Carter. Ben got away. Please tell me you're still tracking him. We were, he left the construction site heading east, but we lost him on 13th. I found out why Bin-Khalid's people wanted the strongbox. Inside there was a flash drive containing a list of sleeper cells that bin-Khalid set up here along with all the codes to trigger their attacks. It looked like 15, maybe 20 cells but I didn't have the list for very long. He said he'll sell it to the terrorists if we don't give him what he wants. I am still waiting to find out what that is. Do you believe he'd really do that? He's angry, and he's unstable. I do. We'll keep looking for him here. Let us know if he makes contact. Yeah, I am heading over to 13th. Keep looking for Grimes. I'm going to talk to Keith. Rebecca, what the hell's going on? Have you lost your mind? - Keith, listen to me. - No, let me out of here, now! I can't do that. Not until I know if I can trust you. Trust me? Because I'm the one who's acted completely out of bounds? The ranger squad that killed bin-Khalid Was attacked this morning. Four of them were murdered and their families. What are... The rangers were living under new identities that only three people had access to - the directors of CIA, NSA... and you. And you think I gave them up? No. I don't. But I have to be sure. I want to clear you, but I need your help. How? I want to get into the CTU's subnetwork to find out who accessed the rangers' files. To do that, I need your director's override. My override? Once I identify the leak, I can track them back to the people behind this. Keith, killing the rangers is only the beginning. These people are planning attacks against this country. I have no way of verifying what you're telling me, but, what? I'm supposed to give you unfettered access to the system? Why would I make all this up? Do you really think I want to be doing this? I'm supposed to be with my husband, Keith, helping him with his campaign. Now give me the damned override So I can get you out of here and get back to my life. The override key is in the personal safe behind my desk. The code is 206-207. Thank you. - Ben! - Whoa! Look, I'm not gonna hurt you. The man who gave you this jacket, did you see which way he went? Where'd you serve, man? I was in Afghanistan, Yemen. 75th infantry. "Rangers lead the way." That's right. The man you're looking for ran toward that fence, near the railroad tracks. Thank you, thank you. Mullin's override got me into the subsystem, but I still need to parse the locks. Andy, Will you be able to find the leak or not? Yes, but I don't know how long it'll take. Carter? Ben went into the storm drains at first and pierce. The city doesn't have any cameras down there. And there are literally thousands of exit points. Yeah, Ben knows that. He's been doing this a while. This is him. I'm gonna join you in. Listen, Ben barely trusts me so he can't know you're on, okay? Understood. Andy will run a trace. Ben, talk to me, man. I want $2 million. Not enough for what I've been through, but it's the most I can carry. Ben, you know I can't ask the government for that kind of money. This is not an official operation. It's not my problem. You get me the money or I call bin-Khalid's men. I took one of their phones at the construction site. Please, man, listen, you're strung out And you're not thinking straight. Eric, I've never been more clear in my life. Show up at the 7th street metro station with my money in one hour. An hour? Ben, you got to give me more time. For the government to find me? No, you show up on time with the money, You get the list. If any of those things don't happen, Eric, I will sell the list to bin-Khalid's people. Period. Ben! Carter, there's no way I can get my hands On that much cash in an hour. Not as a private citizen. There's nobody in the government you can ask? No one who'd even entertain it. And in any case, the request would go into the system and alert the leak. Okay, okay. I have an idea. I'll get back to you. Carter? Hey. So you can change. Or I could get you something else if you want. - No, thanks. - All right. Isaac, um... is everything all right? You seem... I don't know. It's been a rough year. Other people wanting what's mine. You can always get out, you know. Yeah. Look, I got a deal about to go down with some Dominicans. Right? They're gonna move my product on the north side. That'll put me back on top. I'll be a'ight. Yeah. What? How's Nicole? She's fine, like I said she'd be. What, you called to talk to her? No, there's no time. - Listen, I need a favor. - What? I need money. How much money you talking about? $2 million in cash. How about I throw in a Ferrari, man? I'm serious, Isaac. Don't matter if you are, I don't have it. Is there anyone else you know who might have the money? Well, ain't nobody got more money than the cops, so try them. They busted a big heroin deal last week. I heard they ceased 100 kilos and the money for the buy. They got $4 million in cash. All right, so where would the cops be keeping the money? No, I wasn't being serious. Where, Isaac? It's at the main precinct on Third. It's probably in some evidence lockers, but, look, ain't no way you're getting it out of there. Yeah, we'll see about that. No, look listen, listen. That money is surrounded by a hundred cops, all right? All kinds of security down there. Isaac, I got no other options, man. So Nicole was right. What? She, um, said you've been having issues since you got out the army. That you're not happy. She told you that? Yeah. She thinks you miss what you was doing over there, All the fighting, killing or whatever. That you need it. Yeah, well, that's not why I'm doing this. You sure about that? Tell yourself whatever you want, but going into the police station is a suicide mission. Yeah. Be careful, Isaac, 'cause it almost sounds like you care. Eric? Jadalla... police found three bodies near the train yards. From the description, it sounds like Malik and his team. What about their targets, Carter and Grimes? Two men were seen fleeing the area. They could be anywhere by now. Keep monitoring police networks. Find Carter and Grimes. The Americans probably have the list by now. Your operation's failed, Jad. You failed. So what are you saying... We should go back home? No, we have men and weapons. We move now, pick a target and launch our own attack. We're here to finish what my father started. I respect you as his son, but you're not a soldier like him. Your father fought the enemy from caves while you were studying at oxford. But I am here now like my father always wanted. You've told me you loved my father like a brother. Prove it now. Help me get the list and launch the sleeper cells. Hey. Mr. Harris called me into his office. He wanted to talk to me before he went to the principal. I had to tell him about the text, okay, I had no choice. It's not what you think. Amira, you are planning an attack at school. Please! Please, Drew. Let me at least try to explain. After we broke up... I was lonely. I went online, started talking to this guy from back home. A friend, but he didn't like this country. I started saying that stuff because I thought that was what he wanted to hear - just to keep talking to someone. But it wasn't real. Not for me, Drew. Never for me. None of it? No. Please, Drew, you know me. And you told all of this to Mr. Harris? Yes. And I showed him all the texts from Kasym, Where I am telling never to contact me again. What he was talking about was crazy. So what is Mr. Harris going to do? He say he'll tell the principal that he believes me, then we see what happens from there. I'm sorry. It's okay. I know you only did this because you care for me. And it's made me realize that I feel the same way. Can we talk later? Yeah. Okay. Hey. I told him I was texting with someone from Chechnya, But it was over. That I explained everything to you, and you believed it. Did Drew believe it? I think so, yes. What if he told someone else? I think we should wait until we're sure. You need to finish mixing the explosive. My brother says we could be activated at any time. If we get the code, we must be ready to go. Are you there? I got to go. Carter this is crazy. You'll never get out of there alive. Just tell me if the money is at the police station, Rebecca. Your source is right. Metro pd made a drug bust in southeast d.C., recovered a little over $4.6 million in cash. Can you tell me where the evidence lockers are? Yes, first floor, next to dispatch, but they're covered by two surveillance cameras. But I'll hack in and put them in a loop, create a blind spot. You can do that? Welcome to our world. Before you do anything, give us some time To see if we can find the leak. How long is that going to take? 20 minutes, 30 tops. No, no, it's too long, okay. Grimes is expecting this money in half an hour. Then we'll bring CTU into this. Take our chances Mullins isn't the leak. We can't take that chance rebe... Listen... everything that's happening, it's on me. Eric, that's not true. I should have benched Grimes on the bin-Khalid raid. Rebecca, he was messed up before the mission, okay? He started talking crazy about this conspiracy and that conspiracy - I just... I should have reported it, brought it to you, but I covered for him, I just... I tried to get his head straight. We all missed it. Now my men are dead, because of Grimes. And now he has the list, and, uh... if any more people get killed... You can't put this on yourself. Are you going to help me or not? Even if I do, how do you expect to get into the station? In the back of a patrol car. You're gonna let them arrest you? Look, I'm a black man standing on the corner at 3rd and Decatur. Trust me, it won't be that hard. Just be ready to take care of the security cameras, okay? I'll call you when I'm inside. Carter? Drop the bag. Where the hell you going? - Just walking. - Yeah? How about you walk over there and put your hands on the wall? Whoa, whoa, Paul, Paul, come on, easy. Pat him down. Hey, come on, you're gonna break his arm. I said pat him down. Whoa, oh, oh, oh, easy, all right? His gun, get it and kick it over here. - Hurry up. - All right. All right. All right? Get in the car. What? We're taking a little ride. Senator. All right, gentlemen. Ah, thank you. How are you? Thank you for coming. How are you? Hi. We should, uh, talk to the staff about Rebecca not being able to come. We should all be on the same page. - I'll get right on it, senator. - Hey, good to see you, senator. - Joe, I'm glad you could make it. - Hey. Yeah. We got those CEOs to blink, but trust me, in November, we're going to have 'em on the run. - Senator. - Hey, Cathy. - Hello. - Don't you worry, I promise I am going to push that through, even if I have to haul that committee into chambers myself. Appreciate it. Quite a turnout here. Thanks for hosting this, dad. Hey, my son, least I could do. You know, I would still be picking out his ties If he would just let me. Somebody needs to dress this boy, you know what I mean? - What's going on? - What? What's that look? - What look? - The look, right there. The one you get when you worry. Nothing. Nah. When you're done with host committee, why don't you come on inside. I'll be in the library with your uncle, okay? Senator. I got to meet with the FCC. They didn't know what hit 'em. Thanks so much for coming. Thanks for your help. Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it. A pleasure. I'm making breaching charge. The last one I used blew the hinges off A metal door in Kandahar. I need you to get me through security, into your police station, and then into the evidence lockers. Narco seized a ton of heroin and cash last week. That's what he's after. Listen, I don't expect you to believe me, but if I don't get that money, a lot of people are gonna die. Look, I'm sorry. Okay, I didn't wake up this morning thinking this was gonna happen to me, either. I don't want to hurt anybody, but here's the deal. You're gonna do what I say, when I say it. You're gonna rob the station, that's crazy. Yeah. I keep hearing that. Isaac, we can't let him do this. I want to talk to him. To try to change his mind? Nah, he gonna do what he gonna do. Right? You know the man you married. Look. I'm out of here as soon as I get a location on the Dominican deal, but, uh, I'll leave a man behind to watch you, аnd Aisha can get you whatever you need. Aisha doesn't seem too happy I'm here. Well, me and Aisha have been having problems for a while. Yeah, well, maybe I'm making things worse. Nah. It's not you. With Aisha, nothing's ever enough for her. She helped set up this deal but as soon it's done, me and Aisha, we through. What you looking for? Won't know till I see it. I know what you want because you and me, we want the same thing. Isaac. Why are you worrying about Isaac? He treats you like a little bitch. He is still running things. What if he wasn't? What if I said, I got a way for you to get what's yours? Hey. Theo. Okay, okay, I had enough of that when your mom was alive, come on. If this is about, uh, Rebecca not coming, we were able to tweak the speech. No, no. It's not about that. You asked me to do a little recon For you with some of my old media contacts. Well, one of them came through, tipped me off about an attack ad the Gage campaign's gonna release next week. Dad, whatever Gage throws at me, uh, Nilaa will be able to handle it. Yeah, it's about her, son. JohnDonovansays he will defend America, but look who works for him. His campaign manager, Nilaa Mizrani, attended the radical parkland mosque, which applauded terrorists, and prayed for the death of our troops. John Donovan called Mizrani his own right hand, and a good friend. But with friends like these, can we really trust john Donovan in the white house? Paid for by Gage for president. It wouldn't be the first lie coming out of that campaign. We checked it out, John. There are photos that prove that she was there. During her sophomore year. Show me. This doesn't make sense. She was young. Yeah. Still... Well son, I don't know what else to tell you, except, she's a liability. John, bottom line is, you will not win in November if you have a campaign manager who prayed for the death of American soldiers. The north pines mall. Crowded, five miles from here, minimal security. What is this, Kusuma? We can still do what we came here to do - strike back at this country. I've chosen a target. One attack won't change history. Activating my father's network will. We're not going to stay and wait for the Americans to find us. If we don't act now, we'll achieve nothing. You're coming with us. I'm not going anywhere. And neither are you. Kusuma. I am sheik bin-Khalid's living son. Only god will decide when I die. Now, put your gun away. We have work to do. You shouldn't be here. Yeah. Well, you hung up on me. I was... worried. Hey. What's wrong? Hey. Look at me. You have to finish mixing the explosives. Have you forgotten what these people did to you? What they said about you with those other students? Have you? No. They destroyed your marriage, and now they're trying to destroy your career. No, no. Amira, please, stop. Amira? I knew you were lying to me. Oh, my god! He was the one you were texting? God, Amira. You are sick! You are a sick bastard! I'm gonna tell everyone... The door! Lock the door! If I catch even a whiff of you dog whistling these guys... You got it? - Yeah. - Good. Slowly. Everything like I told you. Get out, and open my door, now. Out. Andy, he's inside. We ain't letting you out of here till you give us something. Hey, Paul. What you got? Vagrancy and, uh, resisting arrest. That's not a good way to start the day. Come on. Do I get my phone call? What's going on? Vernon. That domestic you rolled last week, the one with the broken collarbone? - What about him? - Ia is all over it. They want a statement from you on tape. After we process this guy. Bates can take care of it. I want this cleared up now, in my office. Let's go. Are you deaf? Come on. You watch yourselves with this one. Process him then get back here. Okay, feeding in the loops. Move. Open it. Move. Here, you tie him up. Take this thing off my back. When I'm done. Sit down, sit down. You keep doing what I say and you'll walk away from this. Sit down. Make transcripts available to the press and if anyone asks about Rebecca Ingram's absence just refer them to me. Nilaa. Can you excuse us for a moment? Gage's campaign is releasing an attack ad tomorrow... about you. About you attending the parkland mosque. The parkland mosque? I didn't go there to pray. It made me sick that some crackpot imam was spewing that kind of hatred and violence in the name of Islam. I went to tell everyone there he was distorting our religion. And you can prove that? Even if I could, the damage is done, but it's the truth. I wanted to tell you, I did. I guess I just convinced myself it happened so long ago no one would ever find out. I'm sorry. I will, uh, I'll draft my letter of resignation and explain how I kept... I won't accept your resignation. It's true you should have told me but it's also true that I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. As much as I appreciate your loyalty, I can't let you do this. If we get ahead of this, we can minimize the damage. Who knows? Maybe even turn it into an advantage. Gage will just keep playing the national security card. Oh, Rebecca could help us out there. You'll still take a hit. Well, the hit I can take. It's the not swinging back, that's what bothers me. Standing up for the truth the way you did, It's what I've been telling the American people I'm gonna do for them. That's why I'm in this. John, I don't know what to say. Stop trying to argue yourself out of a job. What's up? Royo, it's me, Aisha. It's about the deal. Isaac ain't gonna bitch out, is he? You said this was happening. He's still in. But listen up, I know you ain't down with the split, never have been. - Maybe I can do better. - You? Money ain't coming in like it was. That's why I reached out to you in the first place, put this deal together. If Isaac doesn't make it back from this meeting, wouldn't be a lot of tears. You still there? I'm here. Well, I'm still listening. Good. Okay, he's got it. Oh, no. - What? - Locke signed in downstairs. He was just bumped up to head of field ops. He has a debrief scheduled with Mullins. - You'll have to stall him. - Me? I don't work here anymore, Andy, it has to be you. You can do this. All right. Uh, hey, Tom. - What's up? - Keith asked me to tell you to submit your debrief in writing this time. He always debriefs me in person. Yeah, but he and Rebecca Are still going over case files. I guess it's taking them longer than they thought, huh? Okay, thanks. Uh, tom. I texted you... about getting together to maybe, you know, clear the air. There's no air that needs clearing. We have nothing to talk about Andy. Agent Locke, uh, can I talk to you for a second? Sorry, who are you again? Mariana. Been here two weeks. Uh, look, I don't think Andy told you the truth about director Mullins. What are you talking about? Something really weird is going on. I've been trying to reach him for the last 45 minutes. Ben. Where are you? I need more time. Right, so CTU can track me. So I can get the list and you can get the money. Ben, I am trying to help you here, but you have got to give me some room. How much longer? 30 minutes, 45 tops. I have the money. All right, but if you're not at the 7th street train station in 45 minutes, I'm contacting bin-khalid's men. No, Ben, listen... What's that? The subroutine search we were running, using Mullins' override to find the leak. There's a hit on whoever accessed The army rangers' identities. They used the CTU director's code. Keith? Yours. How is that possible? Can you see where the file was accessed from? Yeah. A computer in your husband's campaign headquarters. Uh, the IP address is scrambled, but let me see if I can... Got it. The computer the rangers' identities were accessed from belongs to Mizrani, first name Nilaa. My husband's campaign manager. We were pulled offline. I can't get back on the server. They know. They cut our out-feed. I'm not looping the evidence room feed anymore. Carter, we're shut down. You need to get out of there now. Keith, we're running an operation. If you shut us... You're not running anything. Nothing happens till I confirm what the hell is going on. - Lock them in interrogation now. Go, go. - Keith, Keith. Listen to me. You're making a mistake. Go, go, move, move. Rebecca. Rebecca, can you hear me? Can anyone hear me? ! Previously on 24... Six months ago, U.S. Special Forces launched an assault on the compound of Ibrahim Bin-Khalid, killing him and eight members of his terrorist organization. Bin-Khalid's people found us. Where is it? A strongbox that belongs to Sheik Bin-Khalid, taken from his compound the night your squad came and killed him. Carter? I get 22 in hand after TDS. Sairu, can we talk later? What happened, lady-killer? Got scared? Yeah? - Look carefully. - At what? Nose, it's like mom. Smile, it's like dad's I think. I'm an awesome combination, yeah? Yeah? Absolutely awesome. Wait, uncle is staring at me. Don't worry, uncle. I'll handle your defective piece with utmost care. Okay? Don't worry. What are you doing, you stupid girl! She's very beautiful. - Who is she? - Your daughter-in-law. It's 10 and she is still sleeping. Had too much to drink last night? She is an alcoholic, mom. She and Gurmeet Singh will get along so well, I can't tell you. Good morning. Good morning. Gurmeet, Saira. Saira, Gurmeet. My mom. I seek your blessings, mom. She also pays respect! That's enough, drama queen. I'll talk to you later. Bye. Are you alright? I'm done for. What happened? Look at your hand. What's happening? Quick to jump into bed, quick to propose. - Awesome. - Then what! Yesterday we met your parents. Today we met mine. So now we are kind of engaged, huh? Are you asking or telling me? Do you have full on attraction? Yes. Has this ever happened before? No. You've answered your own question. But what if this 'Happily ever after'... becomes 'Happy never after' after some time? You are right. And you have a great track record too. What if you get bored? You are no Ms. Virtuous either. Correct. Okay so the issue is, how do we trust each other? So the issue is, is this feeling enough? - No.. - Then.. The issue is, do we get this feeling with someone else or not. Oh... It's like a buffet out here. So find some new fancy dish for yourself.. ..and I'll find someone for myself. And we'll know. Hold on. Ideal bachelor, great catch. - What are you doing? This is too risky. - Please. Shiv. Hi.. I'm leaving. The things I've to do for her. Just watch. Same here. That was a big mistake. Letting him loose. Somebody looking for me? I can smell something burning out here. Oh you! Hi! Having fun? Keep going. My turn now. Call me. One apple juice, please. How rude! I'm not used to people not turning around to look at me. So you are one of those silent types. You come to a party and then stand alone in a corner... Waiting for a girl. What does someone turning to look at you, have to do with your beauty? So that means you are interested in me. Right? Right. Actually, I have come with someone else. So... Oh. I hope he won't mind if I hold your hand? Or put my hand around your waist? What happened? Oh... You can't dance. This is a problem tall girls face. - Excuse me! - Yeah? Let's see. It didn't seem like you are here with someone else. What about you? Me? I was alone... Until now. Openly flirting? Have you never seen a pretty girl in your life? No, I was waiting for you. Do you do anything else other than charm people? Juggling. - Hey, we have just met, okay? - Okay. Slow down. Spend some time with me and you will find out everything. Oh, mystery. You guys think that if you speak less.. ..hide a few things then the girl will stay interested. Your smile itself is mysterious. If you can spare a moment from looking at me.. ..then let me know what you'll drink. Whatever you want. Why do you do this to yourself? Why do you do it? You got jealous, right? I mean... you are drinking alone to drown your sorrows. You could have joined me. Stupid girl. That isn't my drink. And I am not alone. Who told you that? - So who's with you? - I've found someone. - Who? - My kind of guy. - You are such an unfaithful, characterless woman... - Me? Him? Dude, I swear. Thank you so much. What would have happened if you hadn't showed up. Sorry, sorry. Shiv. Nice to meet you. It feels as if we go way back. Me? No, people generally feel so. But it isn't so. So, why are you being so intense? Okay, we are childhood buddies. Happy? We are childhood buddies. Happy? Okay? Sorted? - Oh. - Thanks. - Aww. - Cheers. Cheers. How cute! You can buy her a drink but I'll be the one taking her home. Guys? It was a joke. He gets serious very quickly. Just loosen up, okay? Baby, I'm thirsty. Give me your drink. Please. One sip. It's poison. It was a joke. Okay, he.. He caught me on that. - But everyone copies my style, baby. - Please. - Everybody. - You can flaunt your style... But I'll be the one taking her home. Wow! You're learning pretty quick... - I like him. - Yeah? He's learning pretty quickly. Very very quickly. Zak a.k.a. Zakir Merchant. Multimillionaire. Excuse me. Thank you. I have found out everything. Are you thinking about him? Are you drunk? It's a ladies' loo. You'll get beaten up. No, I am not going anywhere. I am missing you a lot. Anyway, I won't be able to meet you for a week. Why a week? Bankers' conference, Vienna. Sorry. - You couldn't tell me any sooner? - Sorry, I forgot. Okay. Let's go outside and talk. What is this? It's quite noisy outside. What silent kind of a conversation do you want to have? We talk a lot, don't we? But we don't listen to this. I think they are both conspiring against us. We have no control. So what now? So now, let's leave them alone. They are acting smart. It's all about trust, right? So let's see what they do when they are alone. One week. Away from each other. And what if they don't mend their ways? Next level? Do you really have to go? It's good in a way. If you don't fast, you don't enjoy the feast. "Come to me, my love..." "Come to me..." "This helpless soul awaits you." "Come to me..." "Come to me, my love..." "Come to me..." "This helpless soul awaits you." "Come to me..." "The day is about to come to an end..." "My heart belongs to you, my friend." "It is used to your company." "I am a moon and you are a star." "Come to me..." "Come to me, my love..." "Come to me..." "This is the limit of love. It has started testing me." "My love has started to cross all limits." "My restless heartbeat pleads you." "To embrace me, so I find peace." "My only job is to love you." "My idleness has started serving a purpose." "On top of that, even the weather is lovely..." "Come to me..." "Come to me, my love..." "Come to me..." "I've been in love before." "But with you it's different." "This bond that we share." "Is the journey of this life." "Or do we share an old connection?" "Come to me..." "Come to me..." How rude! Even I am not used to people not turning around to look at me. Using my pickup line on me? - Yes. - Liquor baron Zakir Merchant. Awesome. Must have been quite an impression. You did research on me? Are you following me? That day you bought me a drink so now you want chocolates for free? Disgusting. You are such a big business tycoon. - I'd think you'd be able to afford them. - Afford? I can even afford a car. But then how would I enjoy this walk with you? How will this work if you too keep quiet? I am already the silent type. Who comes to a party and... Personality problem. Mysterious smile? And I want to make chocolates. Have our personalities exchanged? You're damn strange, man. It's hard to figure you out. That means you are trying to figure me out. Actually, yes. Yes? I think we should do business together. - What say? - No. But liquor and chocolates get along. - They do. - So then? It'll be difficult to focus. For you. Doesn't that sound like a Hindi song? "A girl walking in the rain." - Yeah! "Sleepless on a sleepy night." "She met a stranger." "Unaware of the danger." "Tell me, how is that fair?" Oh shit! You see... - You are lucky. - Yeah. You got yourself a date With me in the rain. A walk with me feels like a date to you? No, not really. There should be a sunset for a proper date. And flowers. A light drizzle... Soft music... A long walk... And endless conversations. Conversations. And what if it starts pouring down heavily? Then? What happened? This car can accommodate your dilemma, as well. Sorry. Take your time. Keep getting wet. Dilemma. "She's completely drenched from head to toe." "She's definitely a little crazy." - Are you alright? - Yes.. Hey. - My friend Saira. - Hi. - Wine. - Sure. Yeah... perfect. - Did you hear that? - What? Drinks are on the house. It was planned? Don't tell God. I made it rain. Honestly. Shut up. I sleep with one light on. I sleep with all lights on. - Really? - Yeah. I talk to my plants. I didn't talk till the age of seven. - What? - Yes. Not even a word. That's weird. Yeah. I think I have seen you in my dreams. Same here. - Just shut up now, please. - No! I think you are the most beautiful girl in the world. You're hungry? I never thought I'd be here with you. Seriously. I have never felt this way. I would have never known if I hadn't met you. I'm soaring! You know you totally get me. It's weird. You are so my type. Mysterious. Stylish, cool. A little crazy, but not bad. This is the kind of boy I wanted. But this... Actually before I met him, I didn't know what I wanted. Now it doesn't listen to me. It belongs to him. Shiv. Ya. Sure? About that Shiv? Sure? Sure. - Thank you. - Welcome. May he die in his sleep. - Shut up. - I'm sorry. So last one and I'll drop you home. "Intoxicated and swaying..." "In this lonely rainy night." "Tell me, how is that fair?" Kill him. - Good morning. - What the hell, Zak? - What? - Where am I? With me. In my world. What do you mean? How could you bring me here? I asked... But you didn't reply. Obviously, I was drunk, right? Just a second. What did you mix in my drink? It took me 25 years to find you. What? What if I tell you that we've met before? What if I tell you there was a time when we loved each other like crazy? And then someone separated us. What would you say to that? Then I'd say that you have gone crazy and you need help. No. No. I am not crazy. Doctors too used to say the same. They were treating me. They were trying to erase the image from my mind. But how could I forget you? I found you. All the questions became meaningless. My existence is for you. - This is what the universe wants. - Just leave me. Let me go. - Wait Saira, wait! I am not crazy. - Leave me. Let me go, you psycho. I'm not.. I'm not psycho. You don't believe me. Come here. Just let me go. Look! Look at them. That's you, age 6. Right? And this one... Look at this.. This is you, age 18. I tried. The nose is a little.. What are you saying? I have never met you before. - But the smile is the same. - You're crazy. - Saira, am I right? - I have to go just... - I'm going to call the cops. I'm going to.. - Saira! Saira! Don't you want answers to your dreams? It will take some time. But you will understand everything. And until then, be my guest. It's perfect. Dinner will be at 8. "Come to me, my love..." "Come to me..." "This helpless soul awaits you." "Come to me..." "Come to me, my love..." "Come to me..." You really don't know anything? She isn't at home and she isn't even answering her phone. - What's this? - Read it. You want to fast some more? Look who finally took her home. Girls want princes not paupers. Hey, hey, hey! - Brother! Brother! What is it? - You want money? I have money. "Come to me, my love..." "Come to me, my love..." Oh! Hi! You want something? No appreciation. Don't come any closer. Saira... what are you doing? Come down. Don't come any closer or I'll jump. Oh come on, Saira. You know you won't jump. Saira... You stay here. No! Why did you target my prey? Because Saiba was confronting a tiger with a dagger. The tiger didn't even have a dagger, Kaabir. It's my duty to protect Saiba. Paathar belongs to me. You have to either drown or fly to reach here. I don't want anyone's help. It's beautiful. I fear someone might cast an evil eye. Kaabir... there's news that Muraaki Jilaan has set his eyes on our Paathar. Jilaan? Muwaqqit, we wish to conquer the world... Why this sudden move towards measly Paathar? A world unseen, unheard and unapproachable... Muraakis are the ones who conquer them all. Muraakis have dared to set their eyes on our Paathar. Whether he rips the sky apart or makes his way through water... Jilaan is destined to die in Paathar's waters. If he was born on a no moon night... then we are that dark night. The one who dares to confront us, is headed to his destruction. Water should stay blue, not turn red. Jilaan has sent just one Muraaki to fight us? Just one. Muraaki! Muraaki! Either surrender before the full moon night or die. Jilaan. Saiba wishes to fight the war the warriors of Paathar couldn't? You don't just fight wars, you also strategize them. Saiba. We buried their warriors so the Paathars sent women? It's a woman who shall kill Jilaan. Muraakis give only one chance. This full moon night, we shall conquer Paatharghat. Conquer me, and you conquer Paatharghat. Who are you? Doom. Barbaric Muraaki, you have never been this close to a woman, have you? Get lost. I've come to kill you. You will have to defeat me to win me over. Show me your face. Why do you need to see my face to fight with me? I need a reason to fight. Then lower your gaze. Why? Saiba's beauty is like the sun... It's wise to lower your gaze. You got a reason to fight. Now do you have the courage to fight? Just her and me. Jungle Trap. This is your Paathar's dense jungle. A huge tree at the end. And a dagger on the top. The first one to get the dagger gets to draw blood. If I draw your blood, you give up on Paathar. And what if I draw yours? My Ghat will belong to you and so will I. Jungle Trap. One hundred paths, One hundred wrong ones. Then the wrong one it is. When in the jungle, protect your life, Not your pride. I'm sharper than the dagger. Watch your step. What's your intention? Doom. I knew that Muraakis' brains are below their waist. Accept defeat. My next strike might kill you. Try to not kill yourself. For me. Kill me. I cannot stay here. I won't be able to go back. We let Paathar go, Saiba is now ours. He cannot be defeated even by a beast... A Muraaki can be killed only by deceit. Saiba is yours. First we marry. Jilaan loves wars, then why this marriage? Oh Muwaqqit, what do you gain by conquering the world? Bodies meet, bodies perish. Souls meet, they together forever flourish. Kaabir? Why are you here? Saiba forgot why she is here. Jilaan shall no longer even look at our Ghat. - Didn't you get the message? - I got the message. But I didn't get Saiba. I'll take Saiba with me... After killing Jilaan. Nothing can be done now, Kaabir. I belong to him. But Saiba belongs to me. Maybe in another life. Maybe this was destiny. Father has asked me to get Jilaan's head. Then take mine along as well. My heart shall always beat with Saiba's name. Have you ever heard your name in that Muraaki's heart? Muraakis only have courage, they don't have a heart. Jilaan is a Muraaki. He has as many wives as the wars he has won. He must have done this hundreds of times. He must be having hundred more Saibas. - I have only one. - Jilaan loves only me. Is Saiba happy? Then I shall learn to live. Only Paathar will feel lonely. Don't forget me, Saiba. [PRAYER] Jilaan-Saiba. Celestial lovers. Muraaki! Muraaki! I am no ordinary thing. Then what are you? I am something you should forever and forever, keep with you. Isn't one forever enough? No. For you it will be another victory tomorrow. You are my victory. Then leave the rest of the world for me. What, Muraaki? Can you only fight? Only the one who can fight can love. Can fight for love. Can die for love. What is going to happen tonight? Is the sky going crazy? Don't question nature. This is happening.. ..because you are about to belong to me forever and forever. Such a ferocious storm happens only once in a thousand years. There will be only one Saiba and Jilaan in a thousand years. The moon shall yield a sword. You are the moon and I am a dark night. How did I get so attached to you? Trust your heart. Does your heart beat to my name? How would it? Muraakis don't possess a heart. Saiba belongs to me. And she shall always belong to me. I had said so. You shall die in Paathar's waters. So Muraakis don't possess a heart? We gave you a heart and then stabbed it. We killed you with deceit. Saiba did. No trust, no love. Don't commit this sin, Kaabir. Don't. It is no sin to kill for love. Die for love, don't kill for love, Kaabir. This full moon, this water, the shadows... Jilaan, Saiba, such love... happens once in a thousand years. Saiba was mine... and will always be mine. Here.. I die for you. No! 'A stormy sky...' 'A ferocious moon...' 'Bodies meet, bodies perish.' 'Souls meet, they together forever flourish.' Saiba was never yours and shall never be. Nature shall repeat this story. Today love has bled into water. Then there's no lover greater than me. 'If they do not make it through the ocean of fire...' 'One last breath would forever remain a desire.' 'Saiba was mine... and will always be mine.' 'No trust, no love.' 'Here... I die for you.' 'Souls meet, they together forever flourish.' Karma. Things come back to you. They repeat. What had happened will repeat. Only you can change it, Saira. You were mine and shall always remain mine. Kaabir. So you know...? So now what? The same old story, this time I am the king and you are the queen. Now I need to decide.. ..whether I should kill him to get you... Or shall I get you and then kill him. He will die and you will belong to me. It was me who made the mistake. Spare his life. So much concern for him? I have come back only for you. - There is a difference. - What's the difference? You took a life and he gave his life to come back. You have to also kill to get love. I want to change this story. You want to change it? How will you change it? I don't want anyone's blood on my conscience. Blood... Why blood? He can fall from a tall building. Or.. ..he could get electrocuted, while making toast. I promise you, I'll give you a right to choose. And what if you can have me? Then you won't kill him, right? Yeah? The one who had disarmed him is now his armor. This time he won't die because of me. Okay, done! We get engaged in three days. Then... You will fall in love eventually. Anyway... The only one... I am the only one you can love. Not even a kiss for your fiancé? This is quite a strange beginning. Hi, good evening. Glad you could make it. Hi, welcome. Thank you very much. Thank you. Everyone... The future Mrs. Merchant. Bodies meet, bodies perish. Souls meet, they together forever flourish. "The heart has confessed to you..." "Making the eyes speak..." "A promise of faithfulness was made." "I have bonded you to myself." "My prayers got answered." "My dreams got fulfilled." "You now dwell in my heart..." "The eyes express the said, and the unsaid." "There is some connection with you." "There is some connection with you." "Why it is, and how it is, you tell me." "There is some connection with you." What happened? "It obliged me while going..." "A passing moment fulfilled my wishes..." "I got to see you. I got shinning star..." "Like I got a sign from fate." "It looks like the world has blossomed with your favor." "I got your sign in my dreams..." "There is some connection with you." "There is some connection with you." "Why it is, and how it is, you tell me." "There is some connection with you." Congratulations, my love. Remove it, remove it. Remove it! Look at the size of the diamond he's holding. This same old scene takes place in every story. One dude makes a last minute entry and the engagement goes for a six... You and your intense look. Don't worry. This won't happen to you. Do you know why? Because women don't fall for the man, but the mansion. Right? You ditcher... I left for a week and you left me. Only if you had been a little more crazy... you would never have left me. You remember what I had told you? You can give her a ring, but I'll be the one taking her home. Remember that. Stay for dinner. I was only playing with destiny. Anyway, he will die as destined. Go find him. What's the angle? Why have you come here? Why did you go there? Don't you get a newspaper at home? You are changing the topic again. You can try. You cannot avoid me. - Why did you go there? - Shiv! What's wrong... What's wrong with you? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? I am getting married. Okay? And he's just the type of guy I want. Intense, charming.. Silent. Silent in bed as well? Stop your nonsense and leave! I am the one talking nonsense? I am the one talking nonsense? He's just your type? He's charming? What were you doing with me? What were you doing with me? Tell me, what were you doing with me then! Tell me something. Listen... please. I won't do anything. Listen to me. I understand that economics is important. I am a banker, I understand. But doesn't chemistry mean anything? Doesn't chemistry mean anything? Try to understand, please. - Relax! - I'll kill her. Move... Move... Stay there. I swear I'm going to kill her. What have you done, Shiv? He will kill you. Wait, did you kidnap me or did I kidnap you? I don't understand. - Oh my! - What happened? Uncle and auntie. - What? - Hello, uncle. I seek your blessings, aunty. How are you doing? Did you see what she was about to do? Ultimately, I had to explain it to her that she cannot marry him. And auntie, after using my body, how could she... Don't be stupid, Shiv. What are you doing? What are you doing? Just a second, aunty. You didn't jump into the pool but you jumped into the sea! You know you are the first heroine.. ..to go and plank herself in the villain's den? And I am looking for you like a hero turned monkey... And that b**tard is coming after my tail with a match in his hand. Shiv... Let's go. Shiv, we have met before. In our past life. What? I was a princess and you were a warrior. And we were in love. What...what...what... Zak killed you to make me his. And the same thing is going to repeat again. Shiv, are you getting me? You lost your life because of me. Shiv, we can't be together anymore. Just...just...just a second. One second. Just give me a second, okay? - Listen to me. - Just a second, okay? Very important. You nitwit! Where is your Hidimba! That bloody old hag! You ask why am I cussing? She has made my life hell. - My girlfriend has lost it. - Shiv! Past life, king and queen and what not she is talking about. I'll stab her to death if I see her. Let her know. What? I am on the other side of the island. Wait a second. Hey! - What's your problem? - You think I have lost it? Think about it. - Who are you? - What do you mean? I mean why is Zak coming after a boring banker? Hold on a second! Who's boring? I'm a crowd puller, okay? - Everybody knows that. It's nothing new. - Shiv, this is not funny! What is not funny? I'm not being funny! What are you saying? All of this is connected. Okay? In fact, even the comet... All of this has happened before, Shiv. You have to believe this. I have to believe this! What...what...what are you saying, baby? You are an educated, English speaking, modern girl who lives in Europe. You make chocolates! Why are you saying such strange things? What do I do, I don't have any proof. - Hey baby, what are you doing? - Just a second! Baby, you cannot use sex to make me believe. I'm reminding you of your birthmark. Just think, why do you have it? This is where Zak had attacked you. I have seen it, Shiv. What happened? I am remembering a few things. Just a second. It's a classic 70mm 3D Jodha Akbar scenario! Oh God! I look so hot in that costume. And Zak was getting beaten up back then as well. Take a look. He looked like a joker back then too. And you were so sexy back then too! Press it again. Press it again. Go to hell if you don't want to believe it. Baby... slave... Massage my feet before you leave. - Get lost! - Farewell my subjects! Wow! Helicopter! Who am I? Osama? Shiv... - Yes. - Don't move. - What happened? There's a spider on you. What are you doing! Where did it go? - I feel ashamed. - Why? Back in that life, you had killed a tiger. That too without a weapon. Baby, in this life, I am the tiger. Got it? I'll bite if someone tries to touch me. - Tiger? - Yes. - There you go. - Thanks. Let's go. What? Everything's set, right? Yes, everything is set. I'll take a plane and go straight to Budapest. From there I'll go to the embassy and then I'll come to get you. Otherwise, you'll get stuck in the water. And no one has seen my face so there is nothing to worry about. Everything will be... - You are scared. - Very scared. Scoundrel... I too am scared. - You look after yourself in the boat. - I will. We will take Lord's name. everything will be fine. Shiv... - What? She is You. One should be ready to face danger for her. You take care of yourself, got it? You are my life. Let's go? - Yeah? - Yes. Let's go. You really don't believe that we have met before, right? Not at all. But this bloody thing... believes in everything you say. This understands that just to save my life you agreed to marry a joker. I don't know about your past life. But in this life... I love you so much that I can handle ten such villains for you. Look! Look! Look! There's another one! Lovejoy's love rain. What happened? Full moon? What...? - Let's go. - Where? Hurry up! Where are you taking me? "A girl completely drenched." "Sleepless in a sleepy night." "She met a stranger." "I am the one in the past. I am the one in the present." "Tell me...." "This is a fact!" Good evening. If your adventure trip is over, shall we leave? Saira! You have five minutes. Leave before this cigarette gets over. I cannot leave. What story will I tell our kids? That papa got scared so he ran away? I forgot! This story has an armour too! No.. No.. No.. No.. No..! Come on, leave this world. 'A stormy sky...' 'A ferocious moon...' It's time, Jilaan. Stop it! No! No! 'If they do not make it through the ocean of fire...' 'One last breath would forever remain a desire.' Bodies meet, bodies perish. Souls meet, they together forever flourish. Shiv! Shiv! Okay. If you wouldn't have come for me... Then what stories would you tell our kids? Prayer. Listen carefully. Your mom might sometimes say that you were Karan-Arjun in your past life. Don't believe her. Your mom is a little crazy. But we all love her. Right? - Shiv. - Okay? Yes, baby! Don't believe her. Let's go. "No, no, no, no." "No, no, no, no." "Separating the world from myself..." "I'll hug you and keep you with me forever." "I wanna say to you, that I want to live with you, oh beautiful." "Separating the world from myself..." "I'll hug you and keep you with me forever." "I wanna say to you, that I want to live with you, oh beautiful." "I did the whole love thing." "I fell head over heels in love with you." "I wanna say to you, that I want to live with you, oh beautiful." "Because..." "I'm your boyfriend...." "I'm your boyfriend...." "I'm your boyfriend, you're my girlfriend...." "But she tells me, no, no, no, no." "I'm your boyfriend, you're my girlfriend...." "But she tells me, no, no, no, no." "Wait up, at least hear me out...." "But she tells me, no, no, no, no." "I'm your boyfriend, you're my girlfriend...." "And but tells me, no, no, no, no." "Wait up, at least hear me out...." "And but tells me, no, no, no, no." "No, no, no, no." "No, no, no, no." "Blue eyes enhanced with Delhi's kohl invites me." "How do I come close to you? How do I hug you?" "This thought excites me." "Listen, I know you, I know your habits." "You fall for every girl." "I don't trust you, I don't love you." "Why do you keep following me?" "You'll leave me after bothering me." "After you've finished lying to me." "I wanna say to you, that I don't want to live with you, oh beautiful." "Because..." "I'm your boyfriend...." "I'm your boyfriend...." "I'm your boyfriend, you're my girlfriend...." "But she tells me, no, no, no, no." "Hey, you're my boyfriend, I'm your girlfriend...." "And I now won't tell you, no, no, no, no." "Wait up, at least hear me out...." "And I now won't tell you, no, no, no, no." "No, no, no, no." "No, no, no, no." "No, no, no, no." Previously on "Suits" When you work here, you don't think about home - and families and babies. - That's not fair. He couldn't have known he was gonna have a baby a year... Let me tell you something, Stephanie. Maybe you don't know how babies are made, because when people are trying, they know they're trying! And just because no one ever wants to try with you doesn't give you the right to tell me how to run my associates! I got an offer for more money than I'll see my whole life, and you want me to turn it down based on a feeling that whatever happened to Chris happened to other people? You're dating your therapist. I don't need a lecture from you, Louis. Does Donna have any idea about the two of you? No, she doesn't, and for right now, I'd like to keep it that way. Harvey, is there something that you're not telling me? 'Cause it seems like you've been different lately. We win this, you're gonna be Andy Dufresne sitting on a beach in Mexico with a bank account full of cash. I already make a nice living in here. I was thinking maybe some of that money might go to your daughter. I wasn't lying about working a case with Oliver. I just didn't tell you which one. - The prison one? - Yeah. - This is a fireable offense. - Harvey isn't gonna fire me. Yeah, but maybe he should. What is your word worth? The way things are going, it's not gonna be worth very much. ♪♪ Dramatic music... Hey. Hey. How long have you been up? A while. I've been thinking about what you said to me last night. Mike, I didn't mean to be so harsh. No, you were right. My word does mean everything to me... which is why I'm gonna keep helping Oliver. What? When I gave my word to Harvey, I meant it. But before that, I gave my word to Oscar Reyes. And I'm sorry, but I-I can't back out now. Okay. So you're just gonna live your life keeping secrets again? - This isn't like that. - How is it not like that? You're keeping this from Harvey. And Harvey kept things from Jessica. Look at how that turned out. I tell Harvey now, and it's the same as if he catches me. The case gets tossed, and all of the people we're trying to help keep getting abused. It's the same as before. No, Rachel, this is not the same as when I was a fraud. And I'll tell you something else... I used to have trouble sleeping at night, but I sleep like a baby now because I am helping these people. I'm sorry, but that's the word that I'm keeping. Good morning. Hey. Did you sleep well? If you consider eight hours of bliss sleeping well, then, yes, I slept very well. But now I have to go. - Wait. - Harvey, I have patients. I know, but... I wanted to get your opinion on something. What have you done this time? I haven't told Donna we're seeing each other yet. Why not? Come on, you know my history with her. We're working together. I just promoted her. That's more an excuse than a reason, isn't it? I don't want to create a problem when there isn't one. And who says there has to be one? There doesn't have to be one, but... Harvey, first of all, you may be underestimating her. I mean, Donna's a big girl. Paula... And second of all, if I'm wrong and you're not underestimating her, then... you're only gonna cause both of you a lot more trouble down the road when she finds out. 'Cause, Harvey, she is gonna find out. So you're telling me to tell her? You already know what you need to do. You just asked me because sometimes we need to hear it from someone else. ♪♪ ♪♪ They didn't tell me you brought a sidekick. Frank, this is Oliver Grady. He's the one that's trying the case. Good for him. I still don't know what you're doing back here. I already told you everything I know. Not everything. It's time you gave us the name of your source. Uh-uh. The deal is that money goes into my daughter's account, then you get the name. What the hell is this? It's a down payment. Down payment? I don't think so. I want the whole thing. And if you think we're giving you half a million without a name, then you're out of your mind. Then we are at what they call an impasse, because I'm not giving you that name without that money. And there isn't gonna be any money if the judge dismisses this case. What the hell is he talking about? He's talking about the fact that the other side filed a motion to dismiss this thing. Goes to court tomorrow. If you don't give me the name of your source, - it's gonna get tossed. - Bullshit it's gonna get tossed. I already admitted to you I took part in it. It's not enough. Why is that not enough? You got my word. We got no corroboration of your word. What's to say you didn't make up this whole thing when I came in here? Then go to the goddamn prosecutor I went to seven years ago. She's got it all on record. I thought she didn't pursue this case. Then you didn't hear me right. She pursued it. She just didn't want to see it through. Ask her if I'm telling the truth. In the meantime, keep your pocket change, 'cause you're not getting shit from me. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪ See the money, wanna stay for your meal ♪ ♪ Get another piece of pie for your wife ♪ ♪ Everybody wanna know how it feel ♪ ♪ Everybody wanna see what it's like ♪ ♪ I'll even eat a bean pie, I don't mind ♪ ♪ Me and Missy is so busy, busy making money ♪ ♪ All right ♪ ♪ All step back, I'm 'bout to dance ♪ *SUITS* Season 07 Episode 06 Title: "Home to Roost" ♪ The greenback boogie ♪ Hey, buddy. Louis, I was just making a cup of coffee. I'm not taking any time off, I swear. Whoa, Brian, it's okay to take a break every now and then. - It is? - Yeah, absolutely. In fact, coffee preparation is very important. Yeah. Actually, making coffee is one of my favorite hobb... That's great. Listen to me, I need to ask you something. The other day when I said those things to you about taking time off, I mean, I don't even know - if you remember it. - Like it was yesterday. Well, in that case I was just wondering... how bad was I? You weren't that bad. Good. Now, would you be willing to swear to that in court? - What? Why? - No reason. Truth is, my recollection is exactly the same as yours. You asked for a couple days off, and I gave it to you. See, I even wrote it in my diary. "Gave Brian two days off. Felt good about it." It looks like you just wrote that today. - What makes you say that? - It has today's date on top. I just wrote that down to remember today's conversation. Can I go back to work now? Yep, just make sure you have the affidavit on my desk as soon as possible. Thanks for seeing us on such short notice, Ms. Randolph. I have to say, when I heard the name Frank Gallo, my interest was piqued. What's this about? We're representing a class of prisoners suing Reform Corporation for abusive practices. We're here to confirm that Frank Gallo came to see you seven years ago and admitted to being involved in a conspiracy. Yeah, he came to me offering to be an informant in exchange for protection from what was going on in Lambert. And did you believe what he told you? Of course I believed him. He was beaten up, and he'd been in the infirmary for two goddamn weeks. Well, if you believed him, why the hell didn't you pursue the case? I did pursue it. I ran it up the flagpole, and it came back down like a concrete block. No one gives a shit about prisoners or the way they're treated. So, instead, he offered to inform on his fellow inmates, and then he used that to get himself transferred. Exactly. Now, if you don't mind. Well, Danielle, in fact, I do mind. You see, I do give a shit about how prisoners are treated, which means you are gonna tell the court exactly what you just told us. Did you not hear what I just said? It came back down on me like a concrete block. This is my career. I... I am not gonna go on record and jeopardize it. Well, then this is gonna go one of two ways. You give us your records, and we submit them quietly... Or we subpoena your records under the Freedom of Information Act and put you on the stand. And seeing as you're afraid of ruining your career, I suggest you go with option A. ♪♪ Dramatic music... You're a couple of little shits. Good, you're here. Listen, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about. - Harvey, it's gonna have to wait. - Donna, it's important. Frank Gallo left a message for you a few minutes ago. - What did he say? - He said you and Mike better not be trying to screw him over again, or you're gonna regret it. Harvey, what's he talking about? I don't know, but I'm sure as hell gonna find out. ♪♪ What the hell are you doing with Frank Gallo? Harvey... Don't pretend like you don't know. He just left me a message asking me to make sure that you don't fu... him over. I told you, I'm working on a Brooklyn Housing Authority case. Gallo is from Brooklyn. He knows people. And don't tell me he's making you pay for his information. Yes, he is, and I'm gonna pay him. Mike, odds are he doesn't know jack shit and he's just using you to get money. No, I looked into it, all right? What he told me checks out. He's on the right side of this thing. You're telling me he's all of a sudden Mother Teresa? - This guy tried to kill you! - I know that. Look, I'm not saying he's a saint. I'm saying that I know what I'm doing. Don't you get it? A guy like Gallo finds people to get revenge on. He thinks about it and thinks about it, and the only way to survive that is to stay out of his mind and let him find someone else. Maybe you're right, but I already promised him something for his information, and if I back out of that now, I'm gonna end up on the top of his list. Does Rachel know about this? ♪♪ - No. - Then you better hope Gallo doesn't leave her a message the same way he left me one. ♪♪ ♪♪ Staring out the window, Louis? That's a sign that something's going on. Nothing's going on, Rachel. Then why exactly did you make Brian Altman relive that horrible day? - Which horrible day? - The one where you treated him like shit because you were losing your mind. That day. You want to know what's going on? I'm being sued. That's what's going on. - By Brian? - No, by Stephanie. For sexual harassment? Louis, this is bad. - I know what it is, Rachel. - Well, then we need to talk about how you're gonna handle it. No, we need to talk about how you're gonna handle it. Louis, that's not a good idea. It's the only good idea. You need to go over there right now and put an end to this. - I can't do that. - Why not? Because I had a run-in with Stephanie after you did, and then I had another run-in with her after Donna fired her. She's not gonna listen to me. It is sexual harassment, Rachel. I cannot have it on my record. Someone needs to convince her to let this go, and it needs to be a lawyer I can trust, but it also needs to be someone who's close to her level, or she's gonna feel attacked. Then I think I have the perfect choice. Katrina. I take it Louis got my lawsuit. He did, and I'm here to ask why you're bringing it now. Because the things you're alleging he said... Alleging he said? Wow. I guess it's lawyer first, friend second. That's not fair. I'm only here because we're friends. And because you wanted to convince me to forget that Pearson Specter Litt ruined my career. Stephanie, I know you got fired, but... this lawsuit could destroy Louis. Let me get this straight. The woman who convinced me to leave a good job for one where I was treated terribly, sexually harassed, and then fired is now asking me for a personal favor? Yes, I am. ♪♪ Well, I'm not in the mood to grant one. So you can tell Louis I will see him in court. Stephanie, the woman I knew at Rand Kaldor Zane wouldn't do this. Please... tell me what's going on so I can help. ♪♪ I heard people here talking, and they said that I got fired because I couldn't hack it. Well, that's not true, and I won't have them thinking it is. Then close that door and sit down, because I'm betting that we can work out a deal right now that shows anyone who's ever underestimated you just how strong you are. Alex, have you seen Donna by any chance? - What? - Donna. Have you seen her? I need to tell her something. I don't know, Harvey. I don't have time to track your former secretary's every damn move. What the hell's wrong with you? I'll tell you what's wrong with me. Masterson Construction's pissed about this prison case. Still? You handed it off like they asked. No, they wanted the thing gone, not handed off, and now it's turned into a class action, and it's going to trial tomorrow. Listen to me, it's not your job to make this thing go away. Harvey, I'm their attorney. They had a problem, they wanted it fixed, and I didn't fix it. Bullshit, you got Pearson Specter to drop it like a hot potato. That's all you could've done. No, what I could have done was kill the whole damn thing. And since I didn't, they found some inmate at another prison to break the case wide open, which is why I just had to eat a ton of shit. - What did you just say? - I said they found a witness at another prison, and now I'm gonna lost my goddamn client. Where you going? Like I said, I need to find Donna. ♪♪ I want to know right now, do you know where Mike is? - No, I don't. - You don't know where, or you don't know what case he's working on? I don't know either one, but if you calm down, then maybe I can help you find him. No, Rachel, I don't want help finding him In fact, I don't want you telling him I was looking for him at all. ♪♪ - Oscar Reyes? - Yes. My name is Harvey Specter. It's come to my attention that you're filing a class-action lawsuit. We are. How can I help you? Our pro bono work means a lot to us. We take it very seriously, and I have a very difficult question to ask you. - What is it? - I need to know if you're happy with the way your case is being handled, because if Mike Ross isn't doing everything he can to help you... Stop right there. Mr. Ross has dedicated himself to finding justice for my son. And not only that, when I was offered a settlement, he convinced me to turn it down and find out the real truth, so you tell whoever's in charge that I don't want anyone else working on this case other than Mike and Oliver. Thank you. ♪♪ Dramatic music... You gave me your word you'd stay the hell out of that prison case. - Harvey, I... - You're gonna stand there and tell me you're not working on it? Because Oscar Reyes told me you deserve a medal for what you're doing for him. Harvey, I meant to let the clinic handle it, okay? It just turned out that this thing was bigger than we thought. I don't give a shit if it turned into the trial of the century. We had an agreement. No, you had an agreement with Alex, and then I agreed to sign a document, but as it turns out, stopping corruption is more important to me than some client's bottom line. Then grow the hell up, because that ends now. Harvey, I have to see this through. See this through? Are you out of your mind? You think I don't know this is what Gallo was helping you with? I told you, Gallo is not gonna be a problem. And I told you guys like Gallo are always a problem. Yeah, and what about what I told you happens if I go back on my word with him now? Or what you said about what happens if he calls Rachel. Were you lying when you said you'd pay him - if he came through for you? - No, I wasn't. Then pay him right now. You can take it out of my pocket, but you're done. - Harvey, it's not... - No, listen to me because I don't want there to be any misunderstanding. You spend one more minute on this case, other than telling Oliver it's his, - I'm shutting you down. - What the hell does that mean? It means I'm going to the hearing tomorrow and telling them that you broke your agreement. And I don't care who the judge is, they'll toss the clinic off the case, and your friend Oscar won't get a dime. ♪♪ Louis, stop blending! I have news. Katrina, thank God you're back. Here, have a prunie. Exactly how many prunies did you make? I don't know. I'm stress blending. If I don't hear some good news soon, there's gonna be an international prune shortage. So please tell me that you talked Stephanie out of this bullshit. Louis, I couldn't talk her out of it, but I did manage to talk her into this. Okay, well, I can live with this amount. But this says that I admit to sexually harassing her. - You did sexually harass her. - Oh, that's a load of crap. I never hit on Stephanie Patel. And that's not the definition of harassment, and you know it. Well, I don't care. I can't accept it. - Why not? - Because I've been sued for sexual harassment before, and I can't have it look like a pattern. I didn't know. It was before your time, and it was a bullshit suit concocted by Daniel Hardman. I can't have a reputation for this. I understand that, Louis, but Stephanie is worried people think she can't hack it as a lawyer, and making you admit to what you did is the only way she sees to make them think otherwise. I'm sorry. I can't sign it. Louis, I know this isn't what you wanted, but in my professional opinion, this is the best you're going to do. At least take a day to think about it. And, Louis, this goes without saying, but however tempted you are, don't go see Stephanie. ♪♪ ♪♪ Hey. Don't "hey" me. I take it you heard about what happened between me and Harvey. I take you didn't hear about what happened between me and Harvey. Rachel, what did he tell you? He didn't tell me anything. He asked me where you were and what you were working on, and I had to lie to his face. - Rachel, I... - Did you hear me? I had to lie to Harvey's face. Yes, I heard you, and I'm sorry. I don't want to hear "I'm sorry." I want to hear that you're dropping this goddamn thing. - Rachel, I... - No excuses. You said it's your word to Oscar Reyes that mattered to you. Well, you know what, Mike? You need to get your priorities straight, because my word became nothing today, and I don't ever want to be put in that position again. So it's up to you. You either go and work at the clinic or you stay at Pearson Specter, but what you can't do anymore is play them both for fools and put me in the middle. I'm gonna go now, and when I come back, you can let me know what you've decided. ♪♪ Oh, hey, you. Paula, what are you doing here? I was in the neighborhood, and I was thinking maybe we could get dinner. Listen, I'm sorry, but I am just not in the mood tonight. I'm sorry. Does this have something to do with how it went when you told Donna about us? What? No. I didn't even get a chance to tell her. Well, what does that mean, you didn't get the chance? It means I went to tell her, but something came up. What exactly came up? What does it matter what came up? Well, I'm just wondering what was so important that you couldn't find the time to tell her the entire day. Well, if you really need to know, a murderer turns out to be working with Mike on a case he swore to me he wouldn't be working on. I spent the entire day trying to fix it. And I thought it was more important than telling Donna about my love life. I'm sorry I asked. Look, I didn't mean to overreact. I've just had a hell of a day, and I'll tell her tomorrow, I promise. Harvey, you don't need to promise me anything. In fact, I'd like to stay out of it entirely, if you don't mind. - Paula... - No, it's fine. Because, you know, I'm not the one that brought it up. And, frankly, I don't like you behaving as though I'm the one making you do this. What's going on here? What's going on here is you're rather keen on keeping our relationship a secret from Donna... when you clearly had no trouble telling Louis. Are you worried that I have feelings for her? Of course you have feelings for her. You started having panic attacks after she left you. We wouldn't even know each other if it weren't for those feelings. - Then what are you saying? - I don't know. Maybe you don't want to tell her because you like being the object of her attention and affection, and you're worried this will change that. Her attention and affection? Would you like me to say it, Harvey? She loves you. At least part of her does, and maybe part of you likes it and doesn't want it to stop. And we wouldn't even be discussing this if you had the courage to tell Donna the truth and let her move on. You know, for someone who didn't want to be involved in this anymore, you sure have a hell of a lot to say. Then I'll say one more thing. If what I'm saying is wrong, then you won't have any trouble telling Donna in the morning. ♪♪ Dramatic music... ♪♪ Mike, where the hell have you been? The motion to dismiss is tomorrow. - I need to go over everything... - Oliver, I can't help you anymore. What? I said I can't work the case anymore. Why the hell not? 'Cause Harvey found out. Shit, are you... He's not gonna hand us in, but he did make it clear that if I spent another second on this case that he'll pull the plug on the whole damn thing. I don't believe this. I mean, you come here and you drop this bomb on me the night before we go to court. Oliver, it's not a bomb. You knew all along you were gonna have to do this on your own. I knew you wouldn't be up there next to me, but I was counting on you helping me to prepare. - Oliver... - Son of a bitch, Mike! You know what happens to me! It happened last time, and now it's gonna happen tomorrow because you're goddamn hanging me out to dry! You know what, Oliver? I have had it up to here with you blaming me for every choice that you make. You knew there would come a time when you'd be up there by yourself when you agreed to take this case. Now, last time we were in this situation, I coddled you all night, and you still dropped the goddamn ball. So, this time, we're gonna prepare by me telling you to stop acting like a little boy, start acting like a man, and get the goddamn job done! Because if you don't, Oscar and those prisoners, they're gonna be left with nothing. ♪♪ Thank you. Stephanie. Stephanie. What are you doing here? I've been thinking about your offer, and I was hoping we could talk. Well, we can't because we're on opposite sides - of a lawsuit. - I know that, and I'm willing to sign whatever you want. I'm willing to pay whatever you want. I just... can't admit that I... Did exactly what you did. Too bad. Because if you won't admit it, I'll make a jury admit it for you. Stephanie, I'm trying to be reasonable here. Well, maybe you should have thought of that before putting yourself in a position to let a lowly associate wipe the floor with you. Wipe the... My reputation is that of a pillar of the legal community, so you're not wiping the floor with shit. Your reputation is that you're a son of a bitch, and I'm gonna prove it to the world. No, Stephanie, the only thing you're gonna prove is that you're the pathetic loser that everyone thinks you are, because you just picked a fight with someone who is way out of your league! What delusional reality are you living in? The one where I make it crystal clear at trial that you were fired for cause and concocted this lawsuit out of spite. I didn't concoct a room full of witnesses who saw and heard the real Louis Litt. So the way I see it, you're gonna owe me so much money, I'm never gonna need another job again. ♪♪ ♪♪ Harvey, what are you doing here? Can't a managing partner have a drink with his favorite COO every once in a while? He can, but I got a ton of work to do, and I'd like to get home before midnight. There's something I need to tell you. Harvey, what's going on? I've been seeing Paula Agard. And not as my therapist anymore. We've been seeing each other. What? What do you mean what? I'm just amused that you think I didn't know. Donna. The day you made managing partner, you drove yourself to work, not in the red car, but in the black Ferrari Daytona. And on top of that, you told me and Louis that you had things to take care of that night, but I know your schedule, and I know what happened was you drove yourself straight home from the office, you changed into whatever outfit you thought would impress her the most, and then you went right over to her house, and you swept her off her feet. But you just asked me the other night if something was going on because I've been acting different. 'Cause I was trying to get you to open up, but you missed the signal, so I figured I'd just keep on waiting, and here you are, more or less right on time. - More or less? - Well, I was giving you until tomorrow, so you're actually ahead of schedule. Well, that was Paula's doing. I'm happy for you, Harvey, and I want to hear all about it, but like I said, I've got a ton of work to do, and I want to get home before midnight, so... Go on, finish. We'll talk later. I'm glad you finally told me. Thanks, Donna. Me too. ♪♪ ♪♪ Donna, are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost. I don't know. I... I just got some news I should have seen coming, and I didn't. Do you want to talk about it? No, I don't. I'll... I'll be fine. Well, I just got some news that we should have seen coming but didn't, and it's not good. What is it? We've just been subpoenaed to testify against Louis. ♪♪ What's that? Moo shu pork and fried rice. The way I treated you before, I wasn't sure if you'd eaten yet. - Harvey... - And I was thinking that maybe we could eat while I tell you that I'm sorry and that I told Donna. - You told her? - Yes. You were right. I needed to tell her, and it was unfair to her, and it was unfair to you. - I never said that. - No, but you meant it. Harvey, if you're not careful, you're gonna become a full-fledged outstanding boyfriend. Boyfriend? Boyfriend. Then I'll try not to be careful. Come in. By the way, how did she take it? She was fine. - Are you sure? - Yeah. Turned out she already knew. Well, I'm glad you told her. And I hope you got some egg rolls in there. ♪♪ Dramatic music... ♪♪ Katrina, hey. Louis, what the hell did you do? I don't know what you're talking about. Then why were Donna and Rachel slapped with subpoenas last night? Katrina, listen to me... God damn it, Louis! How long did you wait to go over there after I explicitly told you not to? Well, you know what? It doesn't matter, because now your job is to blow that woman out of the water. Well, that's gonna be pretty hard, since she has a room full of witnesses and she also has Donna on record saying what you did was wrong and that's why you lost dominion over the associates. Whoa, Donna did what? She didn't know you were going to get sued, Louis. And when Stephanie gets her up on the stand, we're dead. Well, then she's just gonna have to lie on the stand. Louis, that is insane, and you know it. Well, God damn it, we have to figure some way to get out of this, because I have lost everything this year and I can't lose this. How about you tell her you're sorry? What the hell did you just say? I said tell her that you're sorry. What are you even doing here? Are you spying on us for her? No, um, I came to tell you I'd been served with a subpoena. Well, Brian, I don't need your help, because you can't apologize without admitting guilt, which is the whole thing that I don't want to do. Louis, I don't know if you've noticed, but that's pretty much going to happen anyway. If I may... it is admitting guilt, and it is taking a chance, but if I were thinking of suing you for the horrible things you said to me... that's what I'd want to hear. ♪♪ ♪♪ What are you doing here? I thought you weren't supposed to have anything to do with this anymore. I'm not, but there's nothing in that agreement that says I can't come watch my friend Oliver kick some ass in court. Well, strap the hell in. 'Cause this motherfu... er is going down. ♪♪ May I come in? What do you want this time? Tell me I'm so worthless I don't even deserve an office? I want to tell you I'm sorry, and if anyone's worthless, it's me. Louis, if you think pretending to give me an apology is gonna make me drop this suit, you have another thing coming. I don't think that. I just think that I owe you an explanation. You see... the night before I said those horrible things to you, my fiancée left me. She was pregnant. And even though the child wasn't mine... I was finally gonna be a dad. And when all that went away, my entire life turned upside down. I mean, I was reeling. So, when Brian had asked me for time off to go have a baby and you defended him... You took everything you were feeling out on me. Yeah, and I am ashamed of that. Stephanie... I will sign anything you want. I will say anything you need to make sure that the world knows that you are not a pushover, even if that includes admitting guilt. And if for some reason they still can't accept you here, you have your job back with us, standing offer. ♪♪ I appreciate you opening up to me, Louis. But this wasn't really about people thinking I'm a pushover. It was about how you made me feel when you said those things to me. Why would they make you feel anything? I mean, they were so clearly untrue. - Were they? - Come on. What are you talking about? Stephanie... I'm 34 years old. I work 90 hours a week. I don't have anyone. I don't have time to meet anyone, and I'm worried that I never will, that I... that I'll never have a family. So, when you said no one would want to have children with me... I am so sorry, Stephanie. ♪♪ Thank you, Louis. I feel like I want to come over there and give you a hug, but... it's probably inappropriate since you're suing me for sexual harassment. ♪♪ I'm not suing you anymore, Louis. ♪♪ Your Honor, this suit hinges on the testimony of a convicted felon, not to mention the entire class is made up of felons looking for a chance to stick it to the prisons that did their duty by incarcerating them. Your Honor, this case doesn't hinge on the word of Frank Gallo. It hinges on the word of a U.S. Attorney who had reason to suspect abuses were taking place at these supposedly upstanding prisons. Your Honor, that file is inadmissible. We weren't presented with it during discovery. Mr. Grady, if this is some sort of end-around... Your Honor, if you'll look at the file, you can see it was delivered to me yesterday. So, unless opposing counsel feels the U.S. Attorney was fabricating that date, that file is admissible. Ms. Sterling, unless you have another reason as to why this case shouldn't move forward, I'm inclined to allow it. I have a compelling reason, Your Honor. - And who are you? - My name is Alex Williams. Your Honor, this man has no standing in this case. I beg to differ, because I have a binding agreement signing by his legal clinic stating they would have no outside help from Pearson Specter Litt on this case, yet they did. You have no proof of that. Then how about I put you on the stand, swear you in, - and ask you myself? - There is no basis for you doing that, there is no precedent for you doing that, and I'm not gonna get bullied to getting up on the stand. And for the record, Your Honor, the court cannot make any inferences based on me choosing not to go up there. Then how about I put Mike Ross on the stand? I notice he's sitting right over there. I don't have a subpoena for him, but I'm sure we can whip one up. And when he gets up there, we'll see if he tells the truth or not. - Your Honor... - That's enough. Your Honor, I violated the agreement. Then I have no other choice but to dismiss this case. ♪♪ ♪♪ Hey. You okay? Yeah, I'm fine. Why? First, the way you were when I walked in last night and then how you were after I told you about the subpoena. Well, I was just worried about Louis, Rachel. He's being sued, and I feel partially responsible because I'm the one who admitted in front of the associates that he was wrong. And I've known you long enough to know when you're not being straight with me. Harvey told me he's involved with somebody last night. - Is it serious? - Yes. And that's the news you should have seen coming. - Yes. - Donna, you're only human, and I know you have this amazing ability to read people, but... some things are gonna slip by even you once in a while. This one didn't slip by, Rachel. I didn't see it coming 'cause I didn't want to see it. ♪♪ I've always said that I want Harvey to be happy, and I do. But it bothers you. And I hate that it does. ♪♪ And then when he told me, I pretended I already knew, and I hate that even more. I don't know what to say. I don't even know what I'd want you to say. What do you say Michelle Ross and Harriett Specter go out for a drink this week? Thanks, Rachel. I'd like that. You told him, didn't you? What are you talking about? Told who what? Don't bullshit me. You told Alex - I was working the prison case. - I didn't tell Alex shit. What I did was I told you to drop it. And I did. I didn't spend one more second working on it, just like you ordered me to. Then what the hell is your problem? My problem is he just showed up to the courtroom and blew up the case. He embarrassed us, he embarrassed me, and he did it in front of everyone. The courtroom? I thought you said you weren't involved. I was sitting in the back watching. There's no law against that, and that is not the point. No, the point is you went from A to Z and assumed that I told him. How the hell else would he know? It's none of your damn business how I knew. No, no, this is between me and Harvey. Wrong, this is between me and you because you broke your agreement with my client. I don't care what I did. You didn't have to do that publicly. I didn't make that decision. You did. Bullshit, you could have come to me privately. - We could've had a conversation. - I did it when this thing started, - and I'm not doing it again. - You son of a bitch. - He's right. - What? Alex is right, you gave him no choice. God damn it, Harvey, that prison is doing shady shit. His client doesn't care because all they care about is money. And you knew that when you handed it off - and said you'd live by it. - This is about you - coming into a courtroom and... - Okay, that's it! It's done. I don't want to hear another word about Reform Corp or Masterson Construction ever again. You made your bed. Now you're gonna sleep in it. ♪♪ Dramatic music... ♪♪ ♪♪ Donna, you have a minute? Louis, if you're here to berate me for what I said to Stephanie, then, no, I don't. Uh, that is not why I'm here. I came to tell you that I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you weeks ago. You're gonna have to be a little more specific. You kept telling me that I wasn't dealing with Tara. Well, I finally started, and I think because of that, it allowed me to get past my anger and make peace with Stephanie. I'm glad to hear it, Louis. I'm proud of you. Like I said, I wish I had listened to you sooner. But every bit of you hammering away at my wall of denial is what finally brought it down. So I'm here to tell you thank you... Because now I feel like I can finally move forward with my life. You're welcome, Louis. And I think that this means that you're officially ready. - Uh, for what? - To take back the associates. Okay, Donna, no, I appreciate that. But they're yours now. They were never mine, Louis. I was always just taking care of them for you. I don't know how I can repay you. You just did. ♪♪ ♪♪ Louis, if you're here for the Stevenson brief, I can have it to you in the morning. Go home, Brian. Am I fired? Nope, there's just more to life than working here. Am I being punked? No, not at all. It's just that you have a new supervisor starting tomorrow, and he would like you to get a good night's sleep. And he told you to tell me that? Oh, Jesus, Brian, please, will you work with me? I'm the new supervisor. And listen, I am sorry for saying all those horrible things to you about undedicated. I can't even imagine how you balance being a new dad with this workload. Then I'll see you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. Before you go, I got you a little something. Louis, this is the best onesie a man has ever gotten another man. You just tell the little guy to wear it well. And feel free to bring him in whenever you want. But, you know, call first. This is a place of business, for God's sake. ♪♪ Gentle music... ♪♪ ♪♪ What's that? Something I should have given back to you a long time ago... the key to your apartment. I don't understand. I didn't know about you and Paula, Harvey, and I kept it from you, and I don't want to keep it from you because I'm happy for you. - Donna... - I said I wanted more, and I got what I wanted. But when you told me about the two of you, - for a second there, I... - I get it. - You do? - I remember how it felt when I found out about you and Stephen Huntley. And I told you before, it bothered me. But it doesn't mean... Exactly. ♪♪ Smooth pop music... ♪♪ I really am happy for you, Harvey. Thanks, Donna. ♪♪ ♪ Tonight, I'm the last man standing ♪ ♪ Threw a wish down the well ♪ ♪ But I fell in after ♪ ♪ Trying to drown another sorrow ♪ ♪ Hold it down till tomorrow ♪ ♪ It's a dangerous game, but I keep on gambling ♪ ♪ Go to hell or help me get there faster ♪ ♪ No one here to come and save me ♪ ♪ Got that fear, but who can blame me? ♪ Oscar. Is it true, what happened in court today? - Yes, but it's only a setback. - Setback? They said they threw out the whole case. They didn't throw it out. They just threw us off of it. What the hell's the difference? The difference is it's a good case, and somebody else can still take it. - We just have to... - Stop bullshitting me! Now, you told me to turn down that settlement. I trusted you, and now it's over. No, it's not over, and I know I told you to turn down that settlement, but you told me you weren't doing this for the money and... Yes, I know. I told you I was doing it for justice. But I also told you I have a son and two other daughters, and you convinced me the only way to heal was to keep this from happening to someone else, and now I have nothing. No money, no justice, no healing. ♪♪ Oscar, I'm gonna make it right. I'll believe that when I see it! ♪ We gotta stand for something ♪ ♪♪ Harvey, if this is about earlier today, I want to thank you for backing me. It is about earlier today, Alex, but I'm not here for you to thank me. What are you talking about? I got to thinking about what Mike said, and he was right. You could've done what you did quietly, but you didn't. Harvey... Which means this isn't just about you protecting your client's interests. It's about you protecting yourself. Synchronized by srjanapala So why don't you tell me what's really going on here? Previously on "Legends of Tomorrow"... Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Leonard. I must be losing my mind. The reason why Snart and I got on so well was we trusted one another. We were friends. Have either of you gentlemen heard of the Spear of Destiny? The spear could alter reality itself. We broke it into four separate pieces. Mr. Hunter took one... And took the rest of you to three different time periods, which means the last piece unaccounted for must be with your grandfather. Waverider crew, we are now the proud owners of the last fragment of the Spear of Destiny. Back in 1942, you have a destiny waiting for you. Ask Grey what happens to your village, ask him what happens to your daughter and your granddaughter, and tell me you'll choose history over your own family. Watch out, lads! - _ - Incoming! Coming through! Coming through! According to this map, Jesus' blood is somewhere over there. The spear is sensing the blood. We won't last five minutes out there. It's not too late to use it. _ It's hard to imagine that, when joined with their siblings, they're as powerful as God. But right now, that's just a useless piece of wood. It's not useless. I told you Schnickelfritz. You made me bet on Equipoise. I clocked him this morning. He was running like a doll. You clocked him! Why don't I clock you? Another one of his enterprises was the distillery. He ran a bar right in our barracks selling schnapps at two cigarettes a shot. The boys called it the flamethrower but it wasn't really that bad. We brewed the stuff out of old potato peels and once in a while, a couple of strings off the red cross parcels just to give it a little flavor. It ain't fair, Harry. I'm telling you, it ain't fair. My Betty. Ain't she beautiful? She married an orchestra leader. So what? There's other women. Not for me. Betty. - Betty. -Forget Betty, Animal. I'll get you a date with some of those Russian women. You'll get me a date? Sure. I'll get you into the Russian compound. How? Pinky Miller from Barracks 8 tried getting over there and they shot him in the leg. It takes a gimmick, Animal. I figured us a little gimmick. - You did? -Sharp. Sometimes I'm so sharp it's frightening. To the brick Kremlin. She'll never forgive me. Come on, Animal. What are you serving today? Nitric acid? I only work here. Talk to the management. All right. Mr. Management what are you trying to do? Embalm us while we're still alive? What did you expect, eight-year-old bottled-in-bond? All the house guarantees is you don't go blind. Blind? Harry! Harry! Harry, I'm blind, Harry. Harry, where are you? I can't see you. I'm blind, Harry. Harry. Harry, I'm blind. Blind? How stupid can you get, Animal? The killer-differ, of course, the real bonanza was when Sefton put up the observatory. He scrounged himself some high-powered Kraut lenses and a magnifying mirror and got Ronnie Bigelow from Barracks 2 to put the whole shebang together for a pound of coffee. On a clear day, you could have seen the Swiss Alps. Only who wanted to see the Swiss Alps? It was about a mile away, that Russian delousing shack but we were right on top of it. It cost you a cigarette or a half-a-bar of chocolate a peek. You couldn't catch much through that steam but believe you me, after two years in that camp just the idea of what was behind that window sure spruced up your voltage. Let's go. Twenty seconds to a customer. Hey, Sefton, what's snarling up the traffic? By the time we get to look, they'll be old hags. Simmer down, boys, simmer down. There'll be a second show when they put the next batch through. Hey, Sefton. What's the big idea? Take that telescope out of here. - Says who? -Says me. You take it out. Only you're gonna have a riot on your hands. Every time the men get packages, you think up some angle to rob them. The Krauts find that, they'll throw us in the boob. They know about that. I'd worry about that radio. They know about your distillery and the races. That's right. Just what makes you and them Krauts so buddy-buddy? Ask Security. Go on. Tell him. You've got me shadowed every minute. - Haven't you found out? -Not yet. Answer. How do you rate all these privileges? I grease the guards. I give them 10 percent. And maybe a little something else. - What? -Maybe a little information. Break it off! How much do we have to take from this crud? There'll be no vigilante stuff. Not while I'm barracks chief. Hey, look at them! - Those crazy jerks! - They won't get away with it! The Krauts'll shoot them! It's Harry and the Animal! They're trying to sneak into the Russian compound! They're past the 50-yard line. - It's a quarterback sneak. -Look at them go! Those idiots will paint themselves right into their graves. Get a load of them Hello, bublichki. How are you all? Hey! Hey, the brick Kremlin! Hey, Olga Volga, wait for me. Hey, Animal. The window. Hmm. So life sort of drifted back to normal in Stalag 17. It was a couple of days before Christmas and everything seemed quiet enough. But underneath it all, we knew we were sitting on a barrel of dynamite and that the stoolie, whoever he was, was ready to strike again at any second. At ease. At ease. At ease. All right, at ease. At ease. Mail call! - All right, at ease. -Hey, man. Anything for Stanislaus Kuzawa? First, the kommandant is sending every barracks a little Christmas present. A copy of Mein Kampf. - All right, at ease. -At ease. In the words of Oberst von Scherbach: "Now that the German victory is in sight all American prisoners are to be indoctrinated with the teachings of the fuehrer," unquote. In my own words: Unquote. That's the wrong direction. Give that man a kewpie doll. - Martin. -Here. - Shapiro. -Yup. - Price. -Yeah. - Trzcinski. -Yo. - Mckay. - Yo. Shapiro. Shapiro. Manfredi. Shapiro. - Musgrove. - Hey. - Mckay. - Yo. - Peterson. -Yeah. - Plews. - Here. - Pirelli. - Hey. - Coleman. - Yo. Shapiro. Nothing for Stanislaus Kuzawa? Shapiro. Shapiro. - Agnew. -Here. And just what makes you so popular? It's amazing. Fifty million guys running around loose back home and all those dames want is "Sugar Lips" Shapiro. - Plews. - Here. - Bauen Here. - Mckay. - Yo. - Agnew. -Here. - Here, Kuzawa. -Yeah. Give this to Joey, will you? Hey, is that all the mail? All right, at ease. At ease. Here's a little something from Father Murray. One to each barrack. And he says he wants you cruds to cut out all swearing during yuletide. - How'd he get those trees? -I don't know. Prayed. They grew out of his mattress. Come on, Steve. Hey. - What do we do for decorations? -For that you got to pray yourself. "And so, Joey we do hope that you will finish that last year of law school when you come back home." Law school? Hey, you don't want to be no stinking lawyer with a stinking briefcase in a stinking office, do you, Joey? No. "And do keep writing, son. Your letters are very dear to us. With all our love, Dad." Hey, it's from your dad, Joey. Here, take it. Next time we write to your folks, you know what you're gonna say? You're gonna say that you don't wanna be no lawyer. That you wanna be a musician, maybe, huh? And play the flute. Yeah, Joey? "I saw a wonderful article on German prison camps in one of the magazines." Mom reads a lot. "They showed pictures of the tennis courts and they also say that in the winter they freeze them over so you boys can ice skate." Anything about us grouse hunting in the Vienna woods? "In a way, I'm glad you're not in America right now with everything rationed here, like gas and meat." Heart-rendering, ain't it? Why don't we send them some food parcels? What do all those broads say? What do they always say? Let me read one. It's not good for you, Animal. Hey, this is with a typewriter. It's from a finance company. So it is from the finance company. So it's better than no letter at all. So they want the third payment on the Plymouth. So they want the fourth, the fifth the sixth, the seventh. So they want the Plymouth. "Sugar Lips" Shapiro. Amazing, ain't it? I believe it. I believe it. - You believe what? -My wife. She says, "Darling, you won't believe it but I found the most adorable baby on our doorstep and I've decided to keep it for our very own. Now, you won't believe it, but it's got exactly my eyes and nose." Why does she keep saying "I don't believe it"? I believe it. I believe it. I believe it. This is it, gentlemen. Don't bother to scrape your shoes. Okay, gang. Meet our new guests. This is Lieutenant Dunbar and this is Sergeant Bagradian. A lieutenant? Knock it off. Knock it off. The pleasure's all mine. - How are things? -What's doing on the outside? Yeah, what's new in the States? Well, the skirts are shorter, if that's what you mean. At ease. The lieutenant will be with us a week or so until the Krauts ship him to the officers' camp. Seems like all the rail road lines are fouled up. Somebody blew up an ammunition train. Somebody, my eye. The lieutenant did it. Right in the station with 50 German guards around. Glad to have you with the organization. Yeah, you're just in time for the Christmas pageant. Looks more like the lost company of Tobacco Road. He's an actor. You should see him do imitations. He can imitate anybody. Do Lionel Barrymore again. - Do Alan Ladd. -Do Cary Grant. Hey, do Grable. Now, see here, Scarlet I'm crazy about you and always have been. I gave you kisses for breakfast kisses for lunch and kisses for supper. - And now I find that you're eating out. Ha-ha-ha. Not Gable, Grable. That's enough. They were shot down two days ago and they've been on their feet ever since. Price here will show you to your bunks. Fix them some tea, huh? We had a couple of unexpected vacancies. Which will it be? Upper or lower? Uh, it doesn't matter, just so I can get some sleep. - Lieutenant Dunbar? - Yeah. It wouldn't be James Schuyler Dunbar from Boston? Yes, it sure would. Do we know each other? Oh, he's from Boston too, but you wouldn't know him. - Not unless you had your house robbed. -Maybe he would. We were gonna be officers together, remember? Only they washed me out. Glad to see you made it. It couldn't be that all that dough had something to do with it. His mother's got $20 million. Heh, 25. They've got a home in Nantucket with an upstairs polo field. - Better put a canopy over his bunk. -Lay off, Sefton. With all your mother's pull, how come you're not a colonel by now? Lay off, unless you want your head handed to you. Tea is being served on the verandah. Animal, where are the napkins? Do be seated, Bonita, heh. What a perfectly charming table arrangement. They must have copied it from House Beautiful, heh. Animal! How many times have I told you, you always gotta pour from the left? Thank you, James, heh. Don't encourage them. Those are the barracks' clowns. Where'd they get you? Over Frankfurt? On the Schweinfurt run. - Flack or fighters? -Fighters. How many ships did you lose? Hmm. About half the group. Flying out of England? Yes. Waddington. 92nd bomber group. Hey, lieutenant, how'd you blow up that train with 50 guards around? Well, I, heh... Just lucky, I guess. Don't let him kid you. Cagney couldn't have pulled a sweeter job. Here's what happened. We're waiting at the depot at Frankfurt. Understand? When an ammunition train comes through the longest ammunition train you ever saw. Understand? Oh, he's just giving it a big buildup. Actually, it was simple enough. I just drifted into the men's room, fixed myself up a little time bomb, broke open the window and when the train started pulling out, I just tossed the thing into an open car. I guess there must have been some straw in there. Yeah. And about three minutes later you can hear it. Boom! Understand? Broke every window in Frankfurt. Understand? It was gorgeous. Wait a second. I'm not through. Understand? I wouldn't talk about things like that. - They never caught on. - They may. I'd keep my mouth shut. Why? We're all Americans here, aren't we? The Krauts have a way of getting information. Yeah, especially in this barracks. - How? - That's what we'd like to know. There's only one pair left. Well, get some more. Say, uh, where does a fellow take a hot shower around here? Hot shower, heh? Dig him. Sorry. No hot showers. You wash in the latrine. In a latrine! What did you expect, glamour boy? An officers' club with a steam room and a massage, maybe? Hey, just a minute. You made cracks and I let them slide but I don't intend to take any more. If you resent my having money, start a revolution but get off my back. -All your dough won't help here because here you're on your own. No mother to throw a lifebelt. - Now let's see how good you can swim. -I can swim, all right. We own three swimming pools and a private lake. It figures. Sorry, boys, my taxi's waiting. Cut the horseplay, Harry. What's the matter with you guys? Get ready. Here he comes. und Poland, kaputt. Und fraulein mit the glockenspiel...verboten. Und the apple struder mit the...gesundheit. Everything is gesundheit, kaputt und verboten! Gentlemen, attention! - Heil Hitler! -Heil-- Droppen sie dead. Quiet! We're indoctrinating! - Ist you all indoctrinated? - Jawohl. - Ist you all good little Nazis? - Jawohl. - Ist you all good little Adolfs? - Jawohl. Then we will all salute feldwebel Schulz. About face! - Sieg heil! Sieg heil! Sieg heil! - Sieg heil! Sieg heil! Sieg heil! One fuehrer is enough. Now please, gentlemen, take off those mustaches. - Or do you want me arrested by the Gestapo? Jawohl! You would be very sorry to get a new feldwebel. Somebody without a sense of humor, huh? Okay, gang, take off the mustaches. Now, what is it, Schulz? Gentlemen, tomorrow morning the Geneva man is coming to inspect the camp and find out whether we are living up to the international convention. I'm sure he will find that we are treating you very well. Now, you must not run around in your underwear. And take off the wash. The kommandant wants all the barracks to be spic and also span. Ja, we'll put pink ribbons on the bedbugs. The kommandant also sends you clean blankets. He wants every man to have a new clean blanket. Yeah, yeah, we know. We had them last year. Five minutes after the Geneva man was gone, the blankets were gone. Uh, the kommandant also told me to pick up the radio. Radio? What radio, Schulz? The one you are hiding in the barracks, don't you know? The one your friend mit out the leg is smuggling all over the compound. Schulz, you're off your nut. - Give me the radio. -No radio. All right, gentlemen, I will find it myself. Now, let's see. Where could it be? Maybe... Maybe in the lieutenant's bunk? Oh, no, not in the lieutenant's bunk. I'm cold here. Maybe warmer on this side. In the piccolo may-- Oh, no, not in the piccolo. Am I getting warmer? Hot, maybe? Very hot? What is this? This is water? - It's a mousetrap. -Heh, and this? My grandmother's earmuffs. Heh, look at them, lieutenant. Everybody is a clown. How do you expect to win the war mit an army of clowns? We sort of hope you'll laugh yourselves to death. Yes. Now, outside, everybody! Everybody out for the blankets! - Clear out. Here we go. -Hey, you too! Outside! Get going! Hurry up, boys. Oh, that Schulz pig. He knew where the radio was all the time. Whoever that stoolie is, he's sure batting 1000. Now the guy I want to talk to is Sefton. Has anybody seen Sefton? Cookie, you haven't seen Sefton, have you? No, I haven't. Krause, you here. Hoffy, I'm very sorry about the mousetrap but the war news are very depressing anyway, huh? I might as well also confiscate the antenna. American know-how. All right, let's hear it. Where's Sefton? I don't know. - He wouldn't be at the kommandant's? -I don't know, I told you. What did the Krauts trade him for the radio? I don't know. - Why don't we look in these footlockers? -No. Come on, you stooge. Hand over them keys. I haven't got any keys. - Okay, then I'll get me a key. -Ow. - Hey! -Okay. Hoffy? - Okay. -Hey, wait a minute. Hey, don't. Sefton will get mad. Of all the hoarding cruds. Looks like Macy's basement, don't it? That kid's richer than my mother. Oh, shut up! For crying out loud. What would he be doing with these? Suppose you ask me. Go on, ask me. Because I got the goods on Mr. Sefton. Because this time he didn't shake me. Take a look for yourself. It'll curdle your guts. The Russian women. Get away. Here, try the end window, where the candy is. Come on, Hoffy,we all want to see. - How'd he get over there? -Easy. Walked through the gate, past the guard, like he was some Kraut field marshal. Now we know what he got for the radio. This is murder. The stinking miser, keeping all that for himself. So I'm a vigilante, huh? So, what are the officers gonna do now? Don't worry, we'll handle it from here. Well, you'd better handle it fast, before he sells us all down the river. Hi. Too late for chow? What's the matter, boys? My slip showing? I'll say it is. You spilled a little borscht on it. Borscht? - Did you have a good time over there? -Oh. Somebody was peeking. Yeah, had a dreamy time. Those dames, they really know how to throw a party. I've known some women in my time, but between you and me there's nothing like the hot breath of the Cossacks. There are a couple of blond snipers over there. Real man-killers. They-- What's this? What happened, Cookie? Who did it? We did it. Better not be anything missing. This is private property. So was the radio private property. So were Manfredi and Johnson. What about the radio? Yeah, what about it? Cut the horsing around. We know he's the stoolie and what the payoff is. - So let's get on with it. -Let's get on with what? What is this, anyway? A kangaroo court? Why don't you get a rope and do it right? You make my mouth water. You're all wire happy, boys. You've been in this camp too long. You put 2 and 2 together and it comes out 4. Only it ain't 4! What's it add up to you, Sefton? It adds up that you got yourselves the wrong guy. Because I'm telling you the Krauts wouldn't plant two stoolies in one barracks. And whatever you do to me, you're gonna have to do all over when you find the right guy. Watch it. The kommandant. Achtung, Herr Kommandant. Good evening, sergeants. Little coffee klatch you are having, eh? Gloomy in here, isn't it? Where is the barracks chief? Yes, sir. You have a lieutenant here. Lieutenant, uh, James Dunbar. Yes, sir. I'm Lieutenant Dunbar. What is your number? 105353. That is correct. Lieutenant Dunbar, I came to apologize for the accommodations. Ordinarily, of course, we never put officers up with enlisted men. I'll live. Quite a transportation jam we are having outside of Frankfurt. They are very angry in Berlin. They will be even angrier on the east front waiting for that ammunition train. Don't you think so, lieutenant? I don't know what you're talking about. Now, lieutenant, how would you like to join me in my quarters? I have a nice fire going. I'm okay here. Why bother? No bother. I'm very grateful for a little company. You see, I suffer from insomnia. Did you ever try 40 sleeping pills? We have some rights, colonel. Why is this man being taken out? Curtains would do wonders for this barrack. You will not get them. How did he ever find out about that train? You must have shot your mouths off from Frankfurt to here. - No, we didn't. -Maybe just a hint or so? Think hard. I don't have to think. We didn't say anything to anybody. Not a word. Not until we hit this barracks. What are you looking at me for? Lights out! Lights out! Lights out! Lights out! I suppose some jerk's gonna say I did it. Why don't you try it one at a time? Now, there's a lot of folks around these days that don't believe in Santa Claus. I always did and I always will. For a while, I thought the Luftwaffe had shot him down reindeer, sleigh and all. But no, sir. Come the day before Christmas the Geneva man showed up with some presents for us. They brought us coffee, a little sugar, prunes and toothbrushes. And of all things, some Ping-Pong balls. There must have been a slip-up someplace because suddenly we wound up with 2000 Ping-Pong balls. It seemed pretty idiotic at the time but as it turned out, those Ping-Pong balls sure came in handy. Oh, mother, did they come in handy! Hey, Schulz. What is this? You must get out of your bunk. The Geneva man is coming to inspect the-- Du lieber Gott! How do you look. You had a fight? How would you like to give Frau Schulz silk stockings for Christmas? You should go and see the doctor. Maybe I can-- - Silk stockings. -Take them. Wunderbar, heh. Maybe they are too wunderbar for my wife but, heh, there is a piano teacher in the village-- And how about 200 cigarettes for yourself? Two hundred cigarettes! What is it you want from me? - Who's the guy? -What guy? The one you work with. - How do you do it? -I don't want those. - Oh, yes, you do. I'll make it 400. -No! No! No! Listen, Schulz, you'd better talk because I'm gonna find out with you or without you. I won't let go for a second. They'll have to kill me to stop me! So talk! Talk what? No, I don't know anything. How many do you want, 1000? - Here. Take them! Take them! -No, no, no! When the Geneva man comes through the barracks I do not want you to complain to him because I have orders from the kommandant to report everyone who complains. Look at him. Dunbar's being crucified and he's trading again. Didn't you get enough? You still itching for more? Some guys never learn. Here's some ice off the roof. Beat it, you little stooge. Go on, tell the crumb where he stands. I called a meeting of the barracks chiefs this morning. I thought I could get you transferred into another barracks. But it turns out that nobody likes you any more than we do. So you're stuck with me, huh? Maybe the Russian broads would take him. Not with that kisser, not anymore. You got off lucky last night, Sefton. One more move and you'll wake up with your throat cut. You listening, Sefton? Yeah, I still got one good ear. Now, you listen to me. There are two guys in this barracks that know I didn't do it. Me and the guy that did do it. And it could be any one of you. You, Hoffy, or Duke, or Price or the Animal, or Blondie, or even Joey. And he'd better watch out, the guy that left me holding the stick. If there's gonna be any throats cut in this barrack-- Out, out! Everybody at attention for the Geneva man! As you were, gentlemen. Please. Here we have a typical barrack. It houses 75 men. Every one of them has his own bunk, naturally. Naturally. It would be rather awkward to have three men in one bunk. As for the blankets, you will notice they're very warm. Fifty percent wool. They also smell of mothballs. When were they issued? This morning? What do you do for heat in this barrack? No stove. The men here used it as a trap door, so we had to remove it temporarily. How long is temporarily? I trust not until July. Here you see a meal the prisoners are getting. Schulz, what are we having today? Bean soup mit ham hocks. Would you like to taste it? - Thank you, no. -Where's the ham hock? There should be a ham hock! When you find it, we'll send it to Geneva. Are there any complaints? Please speak up. Don't be afraid to talk. That's what the Geneva convention is for to protect the rights of prisoners of war, whether they are Americans or Germans. - What have you got to say? -I like it here. What about you? It's all right, considering. What happened to you? Were you beaten? Why don't you answer? - What did you do to this man? -They didn't do nothing. - Who beat you? - Nobody beat me. We were playing pinochle. It's a rough game. Pardon me, sir. Since you want us to speak up, there was a man removed from this barracks last night. A Lieutenant Dunbar. We'd appreciate your looking into it. That's if they haven't shot him yet. Why was the man arrested? Sabotage. He blew up a train. They'd have to prove that, wouldn't they? Isn't that what the Geneva Convention says? You can't just take a man and shoot him. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. Of course you did. Twenty-six carloads of munitions gone off like a trick cigar. The S.S. is running around in circles. The Gestapo is arresting the wrong people. And von Scherbach has caught the fish. Most amusing, isn't it? Uh-uh. You are being rude again. I just wanna go to sleep. Nine-thirty. General von Pfeffinger will be at his desk by now. Shall we call Berlin and tell him the good news? I didn't do it. I didn't do it. Hauptkommando Berlin, General von Pfeffinger. Dringend. I hope you appreciate this moment, lieutenant. You see, I am a cavalry man. All the von Scherbachs were cavalry men. Well, you know what happened to the cavalry. Just give me 5 minutes on that couch, will you? Five minutes. The young ones they put into the panzer divisions. The older ones, they put in the quartermaster corps or made them recruiting officers, or wardens, like me. Wet nurses to putrid prisoners. In Berlin, they have forgotten that Colonel von Scherbach even exists. But they will remember now. Berlin? General von Pfeffinger? Oberst von Scherbach, Stalag 17. Jawohl, Herr General. Name: Dunbar, Leutenant Dunbar. Sabotage. Jawohl, Herr General. Well, there will be two S.S. men here tomorrow to take you to Berlin. You will be interrogated by the general staff. When it comes to the part about your arrest I'm sure you won't forget to give me the proper credit. I just want to sleep. I haven't slept in three days. You will remember the name. Scherbach, von Scherbach. Well, Herr Inspektor, how did you find the camp'? Crowded, but gemutlich, shall we say? I want to talk about Lieutenant Dunbar. - Is this Lieutenant Dunbar? -It is. What exactly is he charged with? Whatever it is, it's out of your jurisdiction. This man is not a prisoner of war. Not anymore. He's a saboteur. He's a prisoner of war until you can prove sabotage. I didn't do it. I was in the Frankfurt station and the train was three miles away when it blew up. Come now, you threw a time bomb. How could I have had a time bomb? They searched me when they took me prisoner. And the way you search your prisoners, it does sound rather unlikely. All I know is he did it. I am satisfied. I am not. According to the Geneva Convention, this man-- ls there anything in the Geneva Convention that'll let a guy sleep? - You were saying? -Simply this. After the hostilities are ended there will be such a thing as a war crimes commission. If the man should be convicted without proper proof you will be held responsible, Oberst von Scherbach. - Interesting. -isn't it? Very well. If you insist on details I have ways of finding out about that blasted time bomb. Good day, sir. You will forgive me for receiving you like this. Perfectly all right. I do not like boots. Schulz! I believe it. I believe it. Let's have your dog tags for the Christmas tree. What's the idea? You don't think you can eat that. We're building us a smudge pot so Patton can find us when he comes. Twenty parts of cellulose, one part phosphorous. Watch. He'll be able to see our smoke signal four miles away. But Patton is 400 miles away. Well, I say, be prepared. - Heh, Ok, boy scout. -Hey, look what we got. - The phonograph! - Music! Put it down here, boys. - We made a deal with Barracks 1. -Now, where's that distillery? Over here, boys. Let's have that distillery. Come on, we swapped it for the phonograph. Any objections, Sefton? Take it. - Hey, Price. Any news on Dunbar? -Huh? He's still at the kommandants office, that's all I know. Don't worry. When Johnny comes marching home again Hurrah! Hurrah! - We'll give him a hearty welcome then - Hurrah! Hurrah! The men will cheer and the boys will shout The ladies they will all turn out And we'll all feel gay When Johnny comes marching home Get ready for the Jubilee Hurrah! Hurrah! We'll give the hero three times three Hurrah! Hurrah! The laurel wreath is ready now To place upon his loyal brow And we'll all feel gay When Johnny comes marching home Let love and friendship on that day Hurrah, hurrah! Their choicest pleasures then display Hurrah, hurrah! And let each one perform some part To fill with joy the Warrior's heart And we'll all feel gay When Johnny comes marching home When Johnny comes marching home again Hurrah! Hurrah! We'll give him a hearty welcome then Hurrah! Hurrah! The men will cheer and the boys will shout The ladies they will all turn out And we'll all feel gay When Johnny comes marching home And we'll all feel gay When Johnny comes marching home When Johnny comes marching home again Hurrah! Hurrah! We'll give him a hearty welcome then Hurrah! Hurrah! Oh, the men will cheer and the boys will shout The ladies they will all turn out And we'll all feel gay When Johnny comes marching home When Johnny comes marching home again Hurrah! Hurrah! We'll give him a hearty welcome then Hurrah! Hurrah! The men will cheer and the boys will shout The ladies they will all turn out And we'll all feel gay When Johnny comes marching home This kid's too good for me. Let's see how good he is. - Same stakes? -Sure, go ahead. Hey, that's not bad. - Where'd you learn your pitching? -From the farmer's daughter. Something I've been meaning to ask. It has to do with security. Shoot. We're having a tough time keeping stuff from the Krauts. Like our escape equipment, for instance. So we're always looking for new devices. Uh-huh. Looks like you found one. - Me? -Well, I mean the lieutenant. He hid a time bomb on him, right? He even carried it through prisoners' search, didn't he? Where did he hide it? Right in his pocket. - The old cigarette-match gag. -What's that? You take a book of matches, light a cigarette, slip it in. It takes about three minutes for the cigarette to burn. Then it sets off the matches. Simple. Some time bomb. Hey, that's a ringer. O come ye, O come ye To Bethlehem Come and behold him Born the king of angels O come, let us adore him O come, let us adore him Don't forget the corkscrew. O come, let us adore him And have a cigar. Thanks. O Come all ye Faithful Joyful and triumphant O come ye, O come ye To Bethlehem Come and behold him Born the king of angels Here's a present for you, Joey. Take it. Take it. It's Christmas, Joey. "Merry Christmas to Joey, from the gang." Open it. I'll open for you. Come on, Joey, play. Air raid! Air raid! Everybody out of the barracks! Not on Christmas Eve. You must get out. For your own good, you must get out. And put out those candles. Come on. Let's hit the slit trenches. I'll bet it's a phony again. The Pentagon will hear about this. - I'm not really built for war. - Get out here. Everybody out in the trenches. Quick. Hey, what's the matter with you? Do you want to get killed? Not particularly. Hey, you two. Outside with you. - Must you two always be the last? -Oh, yeah? You try jumping in those trenches first. Everybody jumps in on top of you. How do you think I got my hernia? Ugh. Go on, let's go. Aha. Aha. Aha. So it got to be Christmas Day in Stalag 17. You ask me, it was more like the 4th of July with all the fireworks that were to go off and bust the camp wide open. It sure started off innocently enough with a party going on in every barracks. I love you, I love you Is all that I can say I love you, I love you The same old words I'm saying in the same old way I love you, I love you Three words that are divine And now my dear I'm waiting to hear The words that make you mine Come on, Animal, let's trip the light fantastic. Leave me alone. Ah, don't cry over a dame that doesn't even know you're alive. Snap out of it. There comes a time in every man's life when he wants to be left alone. Now, go away. All right, who wants the queen of the may? How about you, handsome? You look like Cary Grant. You want to dance with me? I'd love to, Queenie but, well, one of the other girls asked me first. Bye, darling. Bye. Any cigars left, Cookie? Come on, Cookie, get me a cigar. What's the matter? You on their team now? You think I'm the guy? I don't know what to think anymore. I understand how you feel. It's sort of rough one American squealing on other Americans. Then again, Cookie maybe that stoolie's not an American at all. Maybe he's a German the Krauts planted in this barracks. They do that sometimes. Just put an agent in with us, a trained specialist. Lots of loose information floating around a prison camp. Not just whether somebody's trying to escape. What outfit we were with where we were stationed, how our radar operates. Could be, couldn't it? In this barracks? Why not? Just one of the boys. Sharing our bunks, eating our chow. Right in amongst the ones that beat me up. Except he beat hardest. Who is it? That's not the point, Cookie. The point is, what do you do with him? You tip your mitt and the jerries pull him out of here and plant him in some place else, like Stalag 16 or 15. Or you kill him off and the Krauts kill off the whole barracks. Every one of us. So, what do you do? Who is it? If you don't want to tell me, why don't you tell Hoffy or Security? Yeah. Security. What's keeping Hoffy? - Why don't we get any news about Dunbar? -He'll be back. They got no proof. Come on, boys. Soft and sweet. Beguile me. Betty. Betty. Betty. Betty. May I have this dance, miss? Why, sure. Pinch me, darling. Pinch me, so I'll know I'm not dreaming. Thank you, darling. I love you I love you Three words that are divine And now, my dear I'm waiting to hear The words that make you mine Did anyone ever tell you you had the most beautiful legs in the world? But it's not just your legs. I'm crazy about that little nose of yours. That cute little button of a nose. Hey, Animal. Animal. I've been crazy about you for years. I've seen every picture you ever made, six times. I'd just sit there, watching you. I wouldn't even open up the popcorn bag. Animal. Animal, wake up. Wake up. Betty. Betty. Animal, this is me, Harry Shapiro. Harry Shapiro! Harry. Cut the music! Cut the music! Cut it! At ease. At ease. Somebody cover the doors. Now, listen. The men are here to pick up Dunbar. They're taking him to Berlin. They got the proof, looks like he's finished. Only he's not finished yet. Hoffy and I figured out a long shot. I've got all the barracks behind us. - What are you gonna do? -Get that smudge pot. Tie it to Steve's leg. Now, I want everybody out of here. We'll need a lot of commotion on the compound. I'll get the men from the barracks. You think you can snatch Dunbar? Not from the S.S. We're sure gonna make a stab at it. Duke, Price, Stosh, Harry, meet at the north latrine. You'll all get your posts. Now, everybody start drifting out, one by one. Easy, boys, easy. Disperse out there nicely. Remember, just because the Krauts are dumb that doesn't mean they're stupid. - Ready? -Roger. Okay, move out. I don't know what your scheme is. it sounds crazy. It may be, but it's better than having Dunbar dead. I guess you're right. How about me going out and keeping Schulz off balance? - Good. - I wouldn't worry about Schulz. I'd worry about Sefton. Remember me? I'm the stoolie. You ain't gonna squeal this one, brother. No? Aren't you afraid to turn the stoolie loose on that compound? For a tip-off like this, you know what the Krauts would pay? You're gonna stay here in the barracks, and not a peep out of you. Okay then, put a guard on me. I want you to put a guard on me. Because if anything goes wrong out there, this time you won't have a patsy. - Right? - Right. So who's gonna watch me? Cookie? No, not Cookie. Wouldn't you feel safer with Security on the job? Okay, Price, you stay here. What about Schulz? We'll take care of Schulz. Come on. You too. That's a boy, Joey. Play us a little something. What do you want to hear, Price, "Home on the Range"? Or maybe a little Wagner? Or, uh, how about a game of pinochle? No, you're not a pinochle man. You're a chess player. I never knew much about the game. Now, let's see a pawn moves this way and a bishop moves this way and the queen moves every which way, doesn't it? Suppose you just sit down and keep your mouth shut. I went to school with a guy named Price. That was in Boston. - You're from Cleveland, aren't you? -Yeah, I'm from Cleveland. I thought that's what you said. You're from Cleveland. And you were with the, uh, 36th bomb group? Thirty-fifth. The 366th bomb squadron out of Chelveston? Are you questioning me? Just getting acquainted. I'd like to make one friend in this barracks. Don't bother. I don't like you. I never did and I never will. A lot of people say that and the first thing you know is they get married and live happily ever after. I wonder what they're trying to pull. Where was Dunbar? It sure drove the Krauts crazy looking for him. They herded us out into the compound and put some extra guns on us and gave us the old picture check. You know, checking our dog tags and our pans against their index file. But nobody knew where Dunbar was hidden. Nobody except Hoffy, and he wouldn't even tell us. The Krauts searched under the barracks. The roofs. They even searched the bathroom in the kommandant's office but no Dunbar. They tried to smoke him out, throwing tear-gas into every barracks just in case he was hiding up in the rafters. They made us stand for six hours out there until finally von Scherbach came out and gave us his ultimatum. If Dunbar didn't come out by next morning he'd tear down the whole lousy compound, stick by stick and if we'd sleep in the mud for the rest our lives, that was okay by him. He just couldn't figure how a guy could disappear from the compound and still be there, but Dunbar was there all right. He sure was there. Now, let's have it understood. This is gonna be a rough deal but we've got no choice. One of us is gonna have to take Dunbar out of the camp tonight. We'll draw one dog tag. The guy who goes with it does the job. It's rough because the Krauts are expecting a move like this and they've put on extra guards. Now, if anybody wants to withdraw, speak up. Then we're all in on it. Everybody but Joey and you-know-who. All right. Who's the lucky one? Let me do it, Hoffy. You want to go? No. I just want to draw. Okay, draw. Suppose we call this my tag, I'll take him out. No volunteers, Price. I said we're all in on it. You guys elected me Security. The way things have been going I guess I've done a poor job, and I wanna make up for it. - That asking too much? - We've all done a poor job-. I still say this is my tag. Any objections, Hoffy? - Any objections, men? -Not from me. - He can have it. -Who are we to argue with a hero? - How about me latching on, Price? -Three is a crowd especially if you've got to cut through wire. Let's have the wire cutters. - Are the civilian clothes ready? -Coming up. Get to work on the trap door. What do you say, Hoffy? We hit the air-raid trenches then cut out back of Barracks 9. You'd better cut out in back of the south latrine. Why the south latrine? Because that's where he is. In the water tank. Good spot. Well, with any luck we may be in Krems by morning. Maybe even catch a barge up to Linz. Two packs of cigarettes say Dunbar never gets out of the compound. Are you starting that again? Anybody cover? Somebody step on that crumb. We warned you, Sefton. Sure you warned me. You were gonna slit the throat of that stoolie. Here's the knife to do it with. Only make sure you got the right throat. We're looking at it. Hurry up on that door. What are you trying to do, gum up the works? That's right. Or would you rather see Dunbar lying out there in the morning, like Manfredi and Johnson? Look, Sefton, I had my hands full keeping these guys from tearing you apart. I called it last time, didn't I? Are we gonna listen to him until the Germans find out where Dunbar is? The Germans know where Dunbar is. How do they know? You told them, Hoffy. - Who did? - You did. Are you off your rocker? Uh-huh. Fell right on my head. Sprechen sie deutsch? No, I don't sprechen sie deutsch. Maybe just one word? Kaputt? Because you're kaputt. Get this guy out of my hair so I can go. To the kommandant's office and tell him where Dunbar is? Why, I'll kill you for that! Shut up. Security officer, huh? Always screening everybody. Only, who screens you? Great American hero, from Cleveland, Ohio. Enlisted right after Pearl Harbor. When was Pearl Harbor? Or don't you know that? - December 7th, '41. -What time? Six o'clock. I was having dinner. Six o'clock in Berlin. They were having lunch in Cleveland. - Am I boring you, boys? -Go on. He's a Nazi, Price is. For all I know, his name is Preissinger or Preisshoffer. Oh, sure, he lived in Cleveland, but when the war broke out he came back like a good little Bundist. He spoke our lingo, so they sent him to spy school and fixed him up with phony dog tags. He's lying. He's trying to get himself off the hook. - He said shut up. -You heard what he said. Okay, Herr Preisshoffer, let's have the mailbox. The what? The one you took out from the corner of your bunk and put in this pocket. Let me show you how they did it. They did it by mail. - Mail? -That's right. Little love notes between our security officer and von Scherbach with Schulz, the mailman. Here's the flag. They used to put a loop in the cord. Did you ever notice? And here's the mailboxes. Hollow black queens. Cute, huh? They delivered the mail or picked it up when we were out of the barracks, like for appell. And when there was a special delivery they'd pull a phony air raid to get us out like last night, for instance. There wasn't a plane in the sky. Or was there, Price? Brother, were we all wet about you. Forget it. What are we gonna do with him? Don't you know? Because I got my own ideas. Let's have that civilian stuff. I'll look pretty stupid in this, yodeling my way across the alps. Now, let's have the wire cutters. - You taking Dunbar? -You betcha. There ought to be some reward money from mama. Say about 10,000 bucks worth. I told you boys, I'm no escape artist. For the first time, I like the odds, because now I got me a decoy. - What's the decoy? -Price. When I go I want you to give me five minutes. Exactly five minutes to get Dunbar out of that water tank. And then you throw Price out into the compound, nice and loud. He'll draw every light from every goon tower. It's our only chance to cut through. What do you say, barracks chief? He's right, Hoffy. It's either Price or Dunbar. He killed Johnson and Manfredi, didn't he? It's all yours. What's the matter, Price? You said you were gonna save Dunbar, didn't you? So now you're getting your chance. So long, Cookie. You can have the department store, what's left of it. So long, Sefton. You're not disposing of those Russian broads, are you? Tell you what to do. Get yourself 100 cigarettes for the Kraut guards. Then get yourself another face. - You could use a new one too. -Ha-ha-ha. Let's synchronize the watches. It's 11:42 sharp. Check. Just one more word. If I ever run into any of you bums on a street corner just let's pretend we never met before. Shut off the moaning or you'll have the machine guns on us. Shut it off, lieutenant. My legs are frozen. You'd better get that blue blood circulating because we're busting out of this stink-hole in exactly one minute and 20 seconds. - Sefton. -What'd you expect, a St. Bernard dog? - Not you. -Want some brandy? - Yeah. -Who doesn't? Suppose we wait until we hit the Waldorf-Astoria? Heh, okay. It's on me. You won't get off that cheap. What are our chances of busting out of here? We'll know in about 40 seconds. Hold his leg up. Just in case your kameraden are hard of hearing. Thirty seconds. Get him up. Stop shaking, Price. There'll be no pardon from no governor. Funny, ain't it? In your own vaterland by your own soldaten. This kid's got no sense of humor. Twenty seconds. Open the hatch. What's the matter with you, Security? You were always so calm. Especially when you let Manfredi and Johnson go out there. Eight seconds. Seven, six, five four, three two, one. Go! This is it. - Let's blow, Chauncey. -Let's. All right, men, everybody back in their bunks like nothing happened. What do you know? The crud did it. I'd like to know what made him do it. Maybe he just wanted to steal our wire cutters. You ever think of that? Next man. Right, you'll do. When faced by an armed and determined enemy, first you... And either you bash him one or you stick him in the belly. If you want to be real nasty, you? Tread on his blank blank fingers. Right! Next man. You'll do. - Let's try that again. You've had your treat, let someone else have fun. Proper airborne, weren't you, Canada? Didn't you hear me, Evans? What about the other boys, Sarge? I don't want to be too selfish. Come on. Right. When faced by an armed and determined enemy, first you... Either you bash him one or you stick him in the belly. If you want to be real nasty, you? If you want to be real nasty, you? Right! Gordon. He's leaving himself wide open, watch. I am, am I? Come on. When faced by an armed and determined enemy, first you... Argh! Just a minute. What's your name? McKendrick, Sir. The British Army appreciates your generosity in donating gratuitous lessons in hand-to-hand combat. As it happens, the army's already prepared a manual based on some actual experience in real fighting. In future you will cooperate with your instructors and refrain from exhibitions of circus gymnastics. Is that clear? Perfectly, sir. Who's that new geezer over there? Don't ask me, I've never seen him before. He don't seem to like our Canada. Fall out. Carry on, Sergeant. Very good, Sir. If you can. Next man. How long is it now, Flash? I was born up here. That sergeant must be Dracula's big brother. I'm afraid it's all my fault. You ain't even queasy. How come, Canada? I'm a rollercoaster man. They've completed, Sir. Thank you, that was most instructive. Thank you, Sir. If a little bothered. Excuse me, Sir? Yeah. As you've only just arrived and I've er... You're saying? Well, somebody who'd been here some time might be useful to you, Sir. For instance? You'll need a second in command for that special stunt, Sir. Young man, "stunt" is a word I do not like. Not when applied to a military operation. Slip of the tongue, Sir. The Chief Instructor said he put a word in. He did. It's a word I wouldn't care to use, but we'll see. A falling object descends earthwards at the rate of 32 feet a second, accelerating to the maximum speed of 176 feet a second. That's what I call descending. You'll be all right, Alf. As long as you land on that big head of yours. Green light on, action stations, Number One, and er... Hold it! What, may I ask, are you doing up there? Practising. If you want to be polite to a regimental sergeant major, you address him as "Sir". Practising, Sir. Get down from there before I take you to the guard room! Two volunteers to put him on his bed. You and you. At the double! Ooh, my leg. So you're what they're turning out as soldiers these days. I wanted to see for myself. Mm. Mm-hm! A horrible lot of little men. Thank God we've still got a navy. Let's take a look. ... I'll kick him in the... First balloon jump 0600 hours, tomorrow. Got it? Balloon jump? Look it up, Taffy. What does it say? Oh, balloons. The preliminary reports on the use of balloons for initial jumps are generally favourable. Due to the lack of the impact of the slipstream on the body, the tendency of the pupil to twist and somersault is almost eliminated. That's nice. The jumper has to fall a far longer distance before his parachute becomes fully opened. This delayed opening produces an additional thrill. You lucky people. The phenomena known as a Roman Candle in which the parachute leaves the bag but fails to open in time... Lay off, will you? Canada? Yeah? What's a "Roman Candle"? A chute that doesn't open. Did you ever see one? Yeah, I saw one. What happened to the bloke? Got to sleep, will you? I'm bushed. Miss? May I have another, please? What's wrong with this one? It's ex-tac, different from the others. You're lucky. It's what the pilots and instructors usually have. Change it, will you? Hurry up, you. Well, the customer is always right. Though we do happen to pack about 50 parachutes a day, at least. Don't get sore. Oh, I'm not sore. I suppose it's natural for a chap to be a bit edgy before his first jump. Is it? Everybody is. It's nothing to do with, well, being frightened, you know? That's interesting. There, now you can stop worrying and relax. It's a special I keep on one side. It's the best chute I ever packed. Good. I wouldn't like to have to repack it on the way down. Hey, what's your name? Gardner. What Gardner? Just Gardner. Working girls don't have Christian names. I haven't seen you around. I don't get around. Oh, officer material? I said we work here. On your way, Mr Maple Leaf. Left, right, left, right... Squad halt! One, two. Fall out. Take the ropes, Corporal Dawes. All right, who's going to have the first go? No ugly rush now. All right. We'll have to pick out volunteers for the first stick. Canada, suppose you show us how it's done? You like doing that. Yours, Corporal Dawes. You, Evans. Gordon. Come on, Stubbins. Each man check his release box. Easy now. Nothing worse than blokes hitting their boxes at the same time. It sounds like the Salvation Army on a Sunday afternoon. You've nothing to worry about, they're smashing parachutes. They ought to be at £60 a piece. Morning, Bill. Morning. All right, you gentleman aloft. We're ready. We are ready. He's ready. So are we. Gentleman, I don't like your colour. You look a little green. What colour would you like? Suppose you surprise me. 0K, Number 0ne, a good parachuting position. Action station Number One. Jump when I touch you on the shoulder. Are you ready? Go! There goes my first one. Reach up high on your front left webs. Pull down steadily now. Your head well forward, feet together. OK, hold it. OK, Number Two. Right. Go! OK, Number Three. Stand by, Number Three. Ready. Go! Look at mine. Oh, the silly, clumsy clot. OK, Number Five. They're not a bad bunch. I've seen worse. Gardner! From now on I'm in business strictly with you. Nothing like an old, established firm. Heavy. Hm. How about a drink tonight? I might be able to manage... Have a nice trip? You didn't have to push me. No offence, just trying to help. I don't need that kind of help. What makes you such a ruddy hero? It just ain't natural. If he puts his hands on me again I'll brain him. How about that drink? Thank you, but this firm doesn't mix business with pleasure. Gentlemen, we don't know one another very well yet. This morning you start your training and we can start to find out. Now for myself. Information, I'm a professional soldier. The intention. I propose to remain a professional soldier when this war is over. I propose to remain a professional soldier when this war is over. Than the men you're fighting, it's as simple as that. Now, this morning you make your first jump from an aircraft. Are you aware that parachuting, is described as dicing with death in the sky. It's a revolting phrase and quite apart from that it's grossly untrue. Parachuting, in any case, is just a means to an end. It gets you into battle, no more. After that, you're an ordinary soldier. Now remember that. You're soldiers not stuntmen. To get your wings you'll do seven jumps. After that, you'll jump whenever ordered. A refusal means 84 days detention and your wings stripped off in front of the Colonel. So if any of you has any idea that he doesn't want any part of this, now is the time to say so. It's no disgrace either. Not now. Good. Carry on. Sir. All yours, Mr Aldridge. Split, on left, turn! Left-right, march! Left, right, left, right... What was that? The engine changed its noise. I means the pilot's throttling back. Yes, that means we've got to get ready. Prepare for action. Nothing to it, my lads. 88 jumps I've had and loved every one of them. Just like falling off a log... Only further. Watch the red light. Action stations, Number One. Come on now, action stations. All right, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll jump first so I can show you what a piece of cake looks like. Open doors. Sergeant, take over as dispatcher. Right. To think we get paid extra for this. Quite the swindle if you ask me. Stand by. Green light on. Go! Just like falling off a log. Action stations, Number Two! Come on now, any one of you. Come on now, this is an order. Do you hear me? If you don't jump now, you'll never make it later. Action stations, Number Two. Take your hands off me or I'll drag you with me. That's more like it. Action stations, Number Three. Gol Number Four. Go! # Now come sit by my side If you love me # Do not hasten to bid me Adieu # Just remember the poor parachutist # Who is doing his job just for you # Now stand by with your glasses All ready # Drink a health to the men Of the skies... # Here's to the memory of a fine, brave man. I remember the smile on his face as he went. What you trying to do, turn this into a wake? If you two girls go and sit over there, I'll get your drinks. "Easy as falling off a log" he said. Look, he made 88 jumps, the odds caught up with him. Look, he made 88 jumps, the odds caught up with him. Because he was a right guy. He'd tell you to drink that beer instead of crying into it. Let's have a game of darts. You two go ahead. I'm all right. I don't care for darts, maybe it'll make him more cheerful. May I sit down? It's a free country. Wow, that's a rousing welcome. What did you expect a 21-gun salute? Make it 48, will you? I heard about this morning. About Breton. Let's talk about something else. I was wrong about you. I thought you were like the others. Scared inside and covering up. But you're not scared, are you? Sure I am. No you're not. You know what they say around here? There are two types of men who jump. Those who are crazy and those who are scared. You're neither and I don't think I like it. Another drink? You pride yourself on it, don't you? It's important to you. Very important. What? Being brave all the time. Loads of physical courage. What is this, truth or consequences? You're quite right, let it pass. I didn't know you were interested. It's purely academic, I assure you. You don't look academic to me. Mr McKendrick, it may interest you to know that a great many women are not partial to the superman type. They prefer a little human weakness. A little humility. Look everybody's scared of something. That coming from you could be quite an admission. I gather you two gentlemen know each other. Pinky, this is Mr McKendrick. Pleased to meet you. Sit down, McKendrick. Here is the news. It was announced from Washington today that President Roosevelt has transferred 50 American destroyers to His Majesty's government as part of a Lend Lease grant. Lend Lease. In exchange, leases have been to the United States for the construction of airfields and naval bases in British Commonwealth Territory as part of America's Defence Programme. Defence. What are the Yanks defending? Who's shooting at them? That's right. 50 stinking tin cans. Lousy old tubs that ain't been at sea since WW1. A nice profit they'll make. America will fight, you'll see. They'll fight. Fight to the last Englishman. Last Welshman too. They're all right when it comes to talking war, when do they start fighting it? What about right now? You sound like a bloody Yank yourself. Stop it, stop it, all of you! And what's going on in here, may I ask? You horrible little man! You're all in close arrest. Sergeant. Left, right, left, right, left, right, march. Halt! Next lad. Quick march! Left, right, left, right... Next man take your place. Anybody got a razor blade? What do you want it for? Think he's going to cut his throat? I like, Private Dawes. You're lucky to get busted. Look at that bloke, Hitler. He was a corporal ain't doing him much good. You've got something there. Is that correct, McKendrick? No, Sir. I started it. Anything to add? No, Sir. Very well. Striking a superior is a court-martial offence. Corporal Dawes says that he started it. So, I want to find out what really happened. You go back under close arrest. Private McKendrick, about turn! Private McKendrick, about turn! Give me his service record, Sergeant Major. Yes, Sir. Angry man, that one. Some get that out of them, Sir. Anger's good sometimes in a fighting soldier. Properly directed. Are you suggesting that he be given special treatment? On the contrary, Sergeant Major. Let me see now. Enlisted Montreal. Place of birth... Los Angeles. Anything else, Sir? College two years. Profession, just says "aircraft industry", that's all. Any previous military experience, Sir? None listed. Pretty vague, huh? I suppose when you're short of men you don't ask questions. Ask the security boys to run a special check on him. Yes, Sir. He interests me. Hi, there. No prison pallor, I see. What's this, Ladies Rehabilitation Society? No, I've been waiting here to apologise. Well, well. Not to you, not now, but, well, to the United States. We accept your apology. Look. I came here with good intentions and at another time I might admit you had provocation the other night, but for a grown man to... Well, it's positively disgraceful and I ruined my best pair of nylons. Have you any idea what nylons cost these days, if you can get them? Whatever it was, it was worth it. So help me, next time I have a bottle I'll launch that guy. Hold it! Keep trying, Plotski. Poletski. What's the matter, Cookie? I got my walking papers. They're sending me back to my old unit. You'll be the best cook in the British Army. Not me. I've applied for a transfer to the Commandos. Hey, you've got something there. Not a hope, McKendrick. I couldn't possibly agree to a transfer. Look. Do you realise what it costs to train just one parachutist? Over £5,000. If I transfer you, what have we got for our money? Absolutely nothing. There are two ways a man can get out of here, by refusing to jump or feet first. Is that final, Sir? Of course, you could refuse to jump. All right, you can fall out. This is Gordon, Sir. Your wings. Thank you, Sir. You're from Canada? I'm very glad to see you here. Thank you, Sir. Where do you come from? London, Sir. Yes, I suppose I should have known. Your wings. Thank you, Sir. Company, eyes left! You've been rehearsing this for months on mock-ups of the terrain. It should be as familiar to you as the back of your hand. Only, this is the real thing. Operation Pegasus goes tonight. You all know its purpose. It's to bring back a piece of German radar equipment that's been helping to shoot down our bombers. To recapitulate for the last time. Our first group will take the house and the radar post, Meanwhile, we will hold off the Gerry garrison in the farmhouse. Our second group will take and hold the beaches where we'll join them until the Navy can take us out. Any questions? Any suggestions? Right. You men come from a lot of different places and a lot different units, but you have certain things in common. Original Roman legions. You are well armed. I think you've been well trained. You've got a full moon and a rising tide. The rest is up to you. Good hunting. Everyone report to the parachute issuing room in half an hour! Sirl What's that? Oh. One of the girls wrote it. "... Let no parachute sidle or slump... "For today we go warring together, "And my soul... "...will be there at the jump." It's rather good? I wouldn't know, poetry is not in my line. Why do you always have? Stop talking there! Right. Out on the tarmac, you men. Move yourselves. Let's begin. Deck 'shun! Quick march! Company, halt! All right, fall out. I'm sorry for the man who hears the pipes and who isn't born in Scotland. Standby to enplane. Enplane. Climb aboard, boys. Good luck to you. I'll see you back at the camp in the morning. I hope so, Sir. Listen, everybody. This is Flight Sergeant Box. He's our radar dismantling expert. Take a good look at him. All right, sit down there. Our job is going to be to take very good care of him. I'll be taking too bloody good care of myself, thank you. My, my, what a nice little lace doily. Look at him. No nerves. Sleeps through it all. One more crack like that it'll be no teeth. That's enough of that. Save all that for the Jerries. I think the men are getting a bit on edge, Sir. You think they're the only ones? Did I ever tell you about the Ghurkhas when I was in India? Wonderful little soldiers. When I asked for volunteers to jump, the whole battalion stepped forward. So I told them about their conditions of training and that they'd do their first jump from 1,000 feet. There was absolute uproar. Then finally, their subedar major, he's the equivalent of the RSM, stepped forward and said, "Sahib, the men are not easy in their minds. "They would rather do their first jump from 500 feet." "Look", I said, "At 500 feet the parachutes mayn't have time to open. A broad grin spread over his face. "Ooh, Sahib," he said, "we didn't realise we were going to have parachutes!" Thank you. I never thought it was that funny, myself. Just crossing the French coast. Throwing you out in a few minutes. Thank you. Prepare for action. One last word. All wounded have to be left just where they are. Get in and out as quickly as you can. That's all. Well, good luck, everybody, if all else fails just tread on their blank blank fingers. Where you go, I go. Dawes. Corporal Dawes? My legs. My legs! Quick as you can, Sergeant Box. Well, why don't you kiss it? Get a ruddy move on yourself, man. Engelander! Sergeant Box, how much longer are you going to be? It's nearly five to six. It'll be dawn soon. Hurry up. Don't you know there's a war on? And you, Sergeant Box. Quick, we don't want to keep the Navy waiting. All right, Sir, just coming. You two stick close to Sergeant Box, don't let him out of you sight. Yes, Sir. Hurry up, will you? Hurry down those ropes! Fire! Come on, get this fellow out of here, into the cave. Any luck with this machine? Not a whisper. If the Navy find us in this soup... What's happening to the Navy? Looks like a long swim home. Do you swim? More and more of the Germans. Watch out for that Jerry! I'm going to have to take a chance. Your pistol, Sergeant Major. Thank God for the Navy. Get down to the boats. Come on there. Hurry upl Come on at the double, get a move on! Sergeant Box and his party, hurry, hurry! Get a move on! Don't play around in the bloody sand, you bloody fools! All the other boats are loaded, Sir. All right, all away. Take it away. I thought you weren't going to make it. So did I. We met a German destroyer outside the port. Here you are, boys. Ta. Thanks. Well, what was it like? I don't know, very foggy. The Germans? Oh, I couldn't understand a word they said. Here. Corporal Dawes? Yes, he's behind the screen. He's still under a sedative, so please don't stay too long. Thank you. Hello, Corporal. Who is it? Blimey, it's the Yank. How do you feel? Still dopey, otherwise I'm in the pink. What I came to say is... Leave off, will you? It could have happened to anybody. How are the boys? Well, they're fine. Can I get you something? Not a thing. Sure now? Sure, I'm fine. Except, my feet they're very cold. Do you think you could tuck that blanket in for me? I can't reach it from here. Sure. Ooh, that's much better. - Madame Sand! I'm melting with delight! Oh, and you've brought your two boys! - I'm a girl. - Ah. Here, Master Delacroix. I have given you my own studio. The light, you can see, is perfection. When is Monsieur Chopin arriving? Tomorrow. Or so he wrote to me in his letter. Here is the theatre! Sometimes we indulge ourselves in little amateur productions. And here, Madame Sand, is your workroom. If you open the doors, perhaps our southern moonlight will inspire you to write those sublime novels which I so admire. George! Up, quick! We have food for a picnic! And a donkey! Come, before the dreaded duchess finds us. Cheers. Come on! What is wrong with our Georgie? She is incurably disgusted. With what? Love, no doubt. She should only have what Marie and I have. (MEN LAUGH) Only God deserves love. I adore this silence. - (BABY SCREAMS) - (LISZT GROANS) George has gone off, it seems. - Shall we go and look for her? - Can you walk? Not presently. I need this rest. My tour next month is 20 cities. - Where are you going? - Vienna, Geneva... You're going on a tour? Darling, did I forget to tell you? What of your writing, your work? What of me? Am I going with you? We'll talk about it later. Sophie! We're going back. (GROANS) (BLAST ON HORN) (ANOTHER BLAST) (HORSE NEIGHS) (NEIGHS IN PAIN) (GUNSHOT) Thank you, young man. What a magnificent horse. Must have been a great hunter. Yes. Yes. I'd invite you to my home for a drink, but I've got a house full of fops. Guests of my wife's. I won't let her move to Paris so she's trying to bring Paris here. Still, it's her money. And I love her for it. (LAUGHS) Where are you staying, lad? At the inn? That is either Monsieur Chopin or Monsieur de Musset. - You haven't invited Alfred? - I'm afraid so. Do you think it'll be a disaster? Why do you laugh? This will be judgement day for George. She should pay for her sins like any other fallen woman. She can't avoid everything by being a man. That's not Alfred at all. This gets better and better. - Who is it? - Felicien Mallefille. - He's the children's tutor. - He can discipline those two savages! I wonder where I shall put him, though. In George's room, of course. That's what he's accustomed to. No! He is a handsome brute! How does she merit all these men? MARIE: He looks angry. I don't think he appreciated being left behind at Nohant. - George! - George! I'll give you a horse to ride back to the inn. - There's something I must confess. - Drat! We've been seen! Shit! MALLEFIILLE: George! Not that one, monsieur! He's a devil! By God! What a fine seat that fellow George has. Madame George Sand, dear. The authoress. (COUGHING) (HORSE NEIGHS) - Are you ready now to face me? - God, Mallefille! Not now! Yes, now. No kisses? Where's my greeting? Didn't you get my letter? Yes. Your message was clear indeed... between the lines. - I will defend my position. - Oh, balls! You're not in the army any more. You had an affair, not a pitched battle. Oh, Mallefille. Poor boy. It won't hurt for long. - I know it must seem unfair. - George. - You promised to love me. - I didn't promise to succeed. - Whom did you come here to meet? - No-one. Help me off with my boots. He should write his epitaph because I'm going to kill him! Your rival is imaginary! If you're not going to help, go and find somewhere to sleep and leave me! Make that two epitaphs, because I'll kill you if I find... Oh, my God, you're hurt! You're bleeding. Yes. Be a dear. Ask Ursula if she's got something for a bandage. Of course. Don't move. No. (LOCK CLICKS) Bastard! (GENTLE PIANO MUSIC) (DOG BARKING) (GASPS) (YELLS) Oh, don't stop! Monsieur Chopin, you were in the middle of a miracle. I'm not quite yet cured. How did you get in? Who are you? I am your slave. And you have summoned me with your music. Oh, yes. I think I know who you are. I have heard you described. Madame Sand, rumour has it you are a woman, and so I must ask you to leave my private chambers. Have I offended your modesty? I apologise. - Play me one more piece and I'll go. - This is ridiculously improper! And frightening as well. Please leave now. Still, I am content. I've seen you at last. And I am delighted to find you're not a man at all. You're an angel. Hands, halo, wings... everything. Good night, my dream. My poor lady, you are a wreck. I am a resurrected wreck. Move over. (GRUNTING) Citizen Maurice, the prisoner is ready for execution. Viscount de Swamp, you are guilty of crimes against the people of France. To the guillotine! To the guillotine! To the guillotine! The king has escaped! - Catch him! - I will! Tyrant! You will be brought to justice. - Long live the republic! - (GUNSHOT) - The king's guard! We're surrounded. - We'll hold the king as hostage. We'll shoot the viscount and throw them his body and demand their surrender. Do we have enough ammunition to hold them off? - I don't think so. - I can help you. - My papa's got plenty of gunpowder. - This could be very useful. GIRL: Beautiful! BOTH: Yes! Good morning... master. - Morning, Excellency. - Claudette. Ah. Velvet flowers. Did you make these, Claudette? I have a tiny talent and an enormous amount of time. But have you come to work? I will leave you in peace. Oh, no. (GIGGLES) It's very bad. No, don't! Ooh! That's really quite good. One, two. (PIANO TRANSCRIPTION OF BEETHOVEN'S "SYMPHONY NO.6 IN F") You're a fine shot, sir. I can see you're not one of those perfumed prancers in there. - What do you say to a little hunting? - I am standing guard on my mistress. That one? She doesn't need your protection, by God. Fascinating creature. I'm sure she'd rather come hunting with us than sit around arranging her flounces. "One warm word from you and I live. One brutal word and I die." "It doesn't matter, for I am not afraid of death any more." "I have already visited the beyond in your music." - Will you take it to him? - Why don't you take it to him yourself? I've been avoiding him all morning. He's had a poor first impression of me, I fear. Before I meet him again, I want him to be convinced of my complete sincerity. Well? What do you think? Look, you know him. How will he respond? I can't imagine any man resisting this prose. It would melt the Alps. But tell me, why do you pounce on our poor Chopin? My dear, he's got one foot in the grave. No, no. We shall all be in our graves soon enough. But Chopin is eternal. The only permanent thing about him is his cough. DUKE: Ah. - All right. - Thank you, my friend. Madame Sand, will you delight us with your company on a hunt? I must decline, Your Excellency. My maid is fitting me for a dress this afternoon. A dress? (PIANO TRANSCRIPTION OF BEETHOVEN'S SIXTH CONTINUES) (LAUGHTER AND ABSORBED CHATTER) - Quick! - (FINAL CHORD) Perfect! Marvellous. Darling, George proposes a game of croquet. Excellent idea. Chopin will join us. Oh, no. Please excuse me. I do not really like the sun. Hah! Dear friend... I do not wish you to be burned. (COUGHS) (KNOCKING) Excuse me. I'm sorry, my friend. May I speak with you? Something very terrible has happened. - Oh! - Ah! Again. - George seems more cheerful. - Mm. She has a crush on Chopin. The Polish corpse? - They couldn't be more different. - Then they will definitely fall in love. I suppose as friends we should help them along. Absolutely not! Franz, you and I must put ourselves between them at every opportunity. - Marie! Your turn. - Yes. He is so frail, darling. You know George will finish him off. - The countess made advances to you? - She is my friend's mistress. - She has borne his child. - He wouldn't mind if she changed hands. Really, I don't understand the attitude of you people. Are we at a livestock sale? She's a woman, not a goat. - Are you in love with her yourself? - Of course not. "I'm not full of virtues and noble qualities." "I love, that is all." "But I love strongly, exclusively, steadfastly." No, it's like something out of a novel... like that dreadful woman writes. - If you can call her a woman. - George? She makes a great hash of her life, but she's got a good heart. That's why so many men don't want to let go of her. George knows how to love... while she loves. The countess has an extraordinary style. I'd not have guessed there was a volcano under that ice. We can't find anything, citizen. The viscount has been completely obliterated. - Good to see you. - Good evening. They're all in here. Follow me. What the devil... Good God, Claudette! Go back upstairs and change! - Pooh! - Ow! Hello! Welcome. Well, he left the salon at that moment. Claudette's decided to dress as a man for some reason. Do you want a drink? At that stage everyone started to laugh. At last! Madame Sand! Everybody's staring at me. It's a revelation wearing trousers. I feel quite the bully! George in a dress? Red and white, the colours of the Polish flag. That's a bit of overkill. I tell you, we'll discuss it... May I take your arm? My husband's in a temper tonight because I'm wearing his britches. George, Chopin does not deserve to be collected. He's so fragile, you know he might... What's this? A secret? Is he the one you came here to meet? Mallefille, if you can't behave, go to your room. I am quite marooned. Will you... partner me? Of course. - Bon appetit. - ALL: Bon appetit. I understand many of you artists are atheists. Atheists? Oh, no. No, we feel that God exists. He's just not considered worth all the trouble of denying him. Oh, really! The baron is baiting you. He maintains there is no scientific evidence of God. And I reply "Because civilisation has poured dust on his traces." God has been buried by science. But alive! God exists. But he is no longer loved, so he hides away to conceal his broken heart. (SYMPATHETIC MURMURS) Certainly it is difficult to find God in our age. And artists are the only hope. But we shall locate him again. We are a search party, if you like, of orphans, with our emotions as a lantern in the dark. (AMUSED MURMURING) Our greatest hope may be Monsieur Chopin, in whose music we find both emotion and science in the most perfect rapport. GUESTS: Hear! Hear! Thank you. May I, in turn, propose a toast to our host and hostess? For without the noble patronage of the aristocracy, we are orphans indeed. They understand and nurture us. They are our model and inspiration. Thank you. George, you're not drinking. You must pardon Madame Sand. She is allergic to the aristocracy. Surely that can't be! Madame Sand, my hobby is genealogy, and if I am correct, you are a baroness by marriage and your father's mother was a countess. Really? Yes, but my mother's father was a bird-seller. There you are, philosopher. Scientific proof of God. The lion may lie down with the lamb, and the baroness with the bird-seller. (LAUGHTER) Since you must know birds, Madame Sand, what do you think of our local partridge? We flushed four of them in a field this afternoon. Your friend Mallefille here shot three of them. I only wounded the last one. It flew away. I don't know how it could fly... one wing was nearly torn off. When we were wandering back, we saw it thrashing about in the garden. The dogs had got it! One of the bitches had bitten off its head. - Feathers were flying everywhere... - Charles! (VIOLENT COUGHING) Now see what you've done! What the devil's the matter with him? He has trouble with his lungs. Makes a misery of his life. He should be bled. We have an excellent physician. He's developed a special variety of leeches. Painless, and they leave very little mark. Better yet, send in George to Monsieur Chopin. She leaves no mark at all. Hungarian humour, George. (CRASH) - You are too familiar. Apologise. - Sit down, you ass! - You think I don't know what's going on? - She has made love with Monsieur Liszt? Apologise or I'll rip your throat out! Apologise! - Agh! Alfred! - St George! - What are you doing here? - I'm the dragoon. I was invited. Duchess, I've only just arrived. Thank God I was in time to defend Madame Sand's honour. - You followed me. - He's the one? - You're starting up with him again? - I'd sooner chew glass. Choose your seconds and meet me at dawn, sir. - No more duels! - This is men's business. - I accept. - Men? You're not fit to be men! Morons! Idiots! Choose your weapons, Mallefille. Red or white? Leave her alone! She's going off to write about us. It's time for her nightly regurgitation. 20 pages. The only reason she needs you or me or anybody is to provide characters for her ghastly novels! - I trust you have no objection to pistols. - What? - For tomorrow. - My boy, I really don't care. Thank you for the loan, my dear. It was most instructive. You'll be up before dawn for the duel, so I shall sleep in my own bed. Ooh! I do wish I could be there tomorrow. You will make sure nobody's killed? I abhor killing, but a good fight's something to see. - Good night. - Good night, Claudette. (CHUCKLES) (HUMS) - Good evening. - Ohh! (GASPS) (GASPS AND PANTS) What do you... Shh. No! Ow! Those lips. Show me your tongue. Darling. - What is that scent? - (HORSE SNORTS) Oats. Oats de Cologne. Mm. My darling. (GRUNTS) Damn it. Let's go and see. (GEORGE SCREAMS) - Goodbye, George. I'm going to my death. - What are you ranting about? - But before I die... - Oh, my God! - One kiss from you is all I ask. - What are you doing? Let go of me. Get that horse out of here. Shh. I will be dead soon. Mallefille is going to shoot me. (GASPS) You two can't be serious. Please. Please, Alfred, don't go. Um... - I'll talk to Mallefille. - No. - I want to die. - Oh, Alfred. Darling, I want to be on your conscience. You destroyed my youth. You buried my springtime in shadows. Alfred. I was much too good for you. I spoiled you. I gave you money. I nursed you when you were sick. Yes. And then you fucked the doctor. God, Alfred! You were sick because you'd been out every night screwing all the whores in Venice while I was sitting at my desk writing so that we had a... - (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) - Oh! The horse is a critic! Get out! Kill yourself, I don't care! I hate you! - Gentlemen, are you ready? - Yes. And... One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten! I want to go home. Mummy said we can't go till the roads dry up. But it's been raining for three days now. It's no use. We're prisoners. Prisoners of the Bastille. Guards are everywhere. - We'll blast our way out. - Yes! (PLAYS LISTLESS, MELANCHOLIC PIECE) (SIGHS) Monsieur Chopin, it sounds so like the raindrops, it's quite magical, but I must ask you to produce a little sunshine for us instead. I'm about to go mad with the sound of horrid rain, day in, day out. Ordinarily I would just take a bromide and go to bed, but one has guests to entertain. Stupid, stupid rain! No need to entertain us, Your Excellency. Rather, it is our turn to entertain you. - I've just written a play for your theatre. - Oh, how gay! Eugene will paint the scenery. The maids can do the costumes. - Chopin will provide an accompaniment. - Delighted. We'll play the parts and you will enjoy this tribute from your grateful geniuses. The style's a bit precious. Do you mind if I rewrite it? - Not at all. We'll have a horse sent in. - (MARIE GIGGLES) What is the subject of your play? - Noah and the flood. - (LAUGHS) How appropriate! GEORGE: Oh, this heat! Will it never end? Here sits my stupid lout of a husband. I don't know what God sees in him. I hate those things. Can I see that? You don't remember them because you didn't write them! I can't remember them because they're shit! (ARGUING) Ah, children. You are wanted in the theatre. Now! There you are! You must hurry. Hurry up! Get into your costumes! I am as excited as if it were an opening night at the Comedie Francaise. - You rode over in all this rain! - A new play! This is a real treat! Our artists have been up all night making their costumes. It's terribly exciting! You're not acting in this piece? I have no stomach for farce. I am here to cue you. When I signal you like so, you must play something which suggests rain. I expect this will be very amusing. Yes. Alfred and George have really outdone themselves this time. Do you know, I think they are still in love with each other. (KNOCKING) - Clap. - Good evening. I am God. I have grown disappointed in my master creation, the human race. I endowed them with everything. The riches of the land, sea and air. And enough intelligence to worship me. But they have become arrogant and pampered. I shall destroy them. All except for one man and his family. DUCHESS: Ah! This is my servant Noah and his wife Noette and their children. Into their hands do I place the future of mankind. Oh, this heat! Will it never rain? Here sits my stupid lout of a husband. I don't know what God sees in him. Ah, who can express the despair of youth married to age? My husband is 600 years old while I am but 150! A dove! Ha! What luck! There will be good hunting today! Look! It has begun to rain! Stupid, stupid rain! Yes, I have sent the stupid rain to fall upon the earth and stupidity shall engulf all its inhabitants. Hurry now to the ark and fill it with two each of the creatures of land, sea and air. Lord, we have no need for animals. Art alone will save the world. We'll need two of everything. Two poets, painters, musicians... They will not come... your conversation is not witty and you have no ideals. (LAUGHS) True. But we shall also give them free food and lodging for 40 days and nights. We shall also need two playwrights, two composers, two makers of velvet flowers. Now you go too far. But it is an art, surely. Noette, come quickly! This stupid rain is up to our waists! We are now half-stupid! Soon we shall be completely stupid! No matter! We shall have geniuses surrounding us on the ark and so our stupidity shall be concealed. I want no further part of this production! Madame Sand, you insult our hosts. But... it's in the spirit of fun, Monsieur Chopin. You disgrace our position as guests. I for one was not brought up to repay generosity with impertinence. You want everything dusted with sugar, like your music, Chopin? You should know art does not apologise! I shouldn't grieve if I never saw another artist again in my whole life. At last you've come to your senses. Sorry. Ah. Do it the way you did it last time. Something that makes me look a little younger, please. You always look young to me. Perhaps I should chop it all off like you. Except that I'm not that crazy. Aurora, surely you can afford a dress by now. I've got used to trousers. They're comfortable and I can move around. Can you feel that draught? It comes straight through that wall. I've told you before, Mama. Don't stay here. - Come back with me to Nohant. - No, I want to be in Paris. Besides, you don't need my company. You have that young man. What's he called? Malle... Malle... - Mallefille. - Mallefille! - A very dashing fellow. - I wish he'd fall off the map. You're always looking for something better, Aurora. If you'd stayed married, you'd have money. - You shouldn't beg for scraps like I did. - I'm doing fine. The only money I ever saw was what your grandmother paid me not to see you. You didn't have to take it. That's rather nice. I think I'll go dancing tonight, get out of this dungeon. - Can I be your partner? - Certainly not. I want a proper man. LISZT: It's only for six weeks. You only just got back. It's humiliating! I know you. Six weeks means six months. My concerts raise money for the refugees. The floods this year were devastating. It's my country, these are my people and they need me. Suddenly you're the patron saint of Hungary! I couldn't stand between you and mankind. I'll return as soon as I can. My beautiful archangel. I'll miss you. (BABY CRIES) - You made my milk come out. - Hadn't you better feed the baby? I gave up everything for you. I disgraced myself for our dream, Franz. All I wanted was to kneel at your feet. - Don't start, Marie. - Inspire you to write music. - I can't get anything done here! - Nor anywhere! You're impotent! - Musically, that is. - Get up! You're a performing bear! Are the countess and Monsieur Liszt at home? I will see, madame. Is that the new baby? She's adorable. Can I hold her? Darling. - Countess! - Hello, George. I just saw the new baby. She's adorable. Was it a difficult labour? Very. What brings you to Paris? - My mother's ill. - Oh. I've been so depressed. Seeing friends again will do me good. How's Franz? He's very well. Have you seen the charming Chopin? No. - Why do you ask? - Marie... I've tried so hard to put him out of my mind. You want him very badly. For a few heavenly minutes I thought I had him, too. In Angers, remember, I wore that dress. Our eyes met... You won't get him with a dress. On the contrary, my dear. I know the man. He is not a man. He is a woman. He's all emotion and refinement. He has very few defences. You must win him as a man wins a woman. If anyone can do it, you can, George. This is enlightening. Tell me more. How does a man pursue a woman? He flings himself at her feet, follows her everywhere. Wherever she turns, he is there, pouring into her ear only what she most wants to hear. His passion frightens her, but a woman will always bend toward a strong man, just as the vine stretches toward the wall. A woman is always on the point of abandoning herself anyhow. It only takes one firm push. You are sublime! A true friend. Ah! Yes. Those are marvellous. Yes. This is from... George Sand. Thank you. And I want something with a much thinner, narrower line. Yes, that is good, I think. In fact, you could make this even more... No, I don't want this. Take it off, please. You are so good to escort me tonight. People shun me unless I am on the arm of someone respectable. I do not understand your concern. You will find nothing but friends at Eugene's. Friends? Ha! - You are fatally sweet. - Hm. I wonder if George will be there. She has the most alarming way of turning up everywhere I go. I'm beginning to find it unnerving. She has a desperate purpose. What do you mean? A while ago she was out drinking and gambling... she leads a rough life... and she boasted that... Let's not talk about it. I fear I am about to commit a tremendous faux pas. Socially she is too bizarre, but somehow I find her very compelling. I wonder if she is different when alone. She boasted that you are to be her next lover. Alfred was there. He's still the love of her life. He put money on it you wouldn't be seduced. Yes, they made you the object of a bet. Well, you know she's eternally in need of money. Here we are. You have the most priceless expression on your face. There's Mallefille. We can be sure George is here. He's still following her like a tail. Darling, it's so good to see you. - I didn't know you'd be here. - I didn't either. (CHATTER AND LAUGHTER) Chopin hates my paintings. No. Dear friend, I am just a musician. What do I know? They... They are very... - Are you ill? - No. I only wish to lie down for a minute. I have a room just to the side where you can relax. It's all right, everyone. She's going to be all right. - What do you suppose is wrong? - She's probably pregnant again. There's George. Excuse me. I have no desire to speak to that woman. Chopinsky! You hiding from George too? You would know the reason. I don't want to spoil a good drunken stupor by imagining your reason. Ever since the latest chapter of her egregious memoir was published, I can hardly show my face anywhere. Did you read her latest novel? It's not literature, it's drainage. She only wrote good books when she was with me. Every morning while she was sleeping I'd cross out half her adjectives. Hercules could not have done it. He'd have rather cleaned out the bloody stables. Know what's funny? - She doesn't come. - Oh. She makes a lot of pretty noise, but she can't come. Like her books... lovesick posturing and pretence for quick money. Oh, what a whore she is. This is despicable. You are drunk. My only regret is that I didn't put 20 francs on the mantelpiece the first time. I can assure you, monsieur, that Madame Sand will gain no money from you on my account. Hm? (JAUNTY MUSIC) Eugene! Where's angel fingers? I've lost him. - He's taking the Countess d'Agoult home. - Oh. If you plan to invade Poland, you should know that the countess has placed her troops at the border. What are you talking about? - I read a love letter she wrote to him. - What letter? What did it say? Marie's jealous of you. She couldn't stand it if you got a better composer than hers. I don't know why I dress up. Nothing here but old men. You should bring that Mallefille fellow with you. - He's at Nohant tutoring the children. - So you took my advice and kept him. No. It's all over with us. - What does he say to that? - Oh... He threatens to kill me and himself if I leave him. He's been reading too many of your books! - Let's stop here. - Mama, it is too cold for you here. No, it's a lovely day. Why should the last thing I see be a priest with the face of a dustbin? I'm not afraid to stand before my maker. God can accuse me of many things, but I defy him to say I haven't loved him. Yes. Yes, that's pretty. Now the ribbons, hm? No, it's too heavy. Yes, in a bow. (SIGHS) So hot. Will you be going back to Nohant? Yes, Mama. I want you to take me with you. - You always hated it there. - No, I didn't. I felt excluded, that's all. I never excluded you. I needed you. You never needed anybody. Always running off alone in the woods. All the servants out calling "Aurora!" Aurora? - Where did you go? - In the woods? I wasn't going anywhere. I was just running. Mama? Mama? (ETUDE, PLAYED WITH UNRELENTING VIGOUR AND HARSHNESS) Good. Yes, you've learned a great many notes, Your Highness. I think it's just a question of joining them together... legato. Simplicity is the hardest thing. It's the final thing. Well, er... - Next week, then? - Yes. Good day, Your Highness. Monsieur, Baroness Dudevant is here. Baroness Dudevant? I don't think I know her. Well, send her in. This is the first time I've found a use for my title. You are incredible! I only need a minute of your time, then I'll go. Very well. I'll give you exactly one minute. I am leaving Pa... (PLAYS "MINUTE WALTZ") I am leaving Paris. You can't have failed to notice I've been pursuing you. I'm in love with you. I don't know you at all... (STOPS PLAYING) I don't know you at all, but I know this: you are great. You have made a single instrument speak the language of God. And I wanted to learn it from your lips, you see. Anyway, you... You don't want me and... it's become complicated, like everything between two people. It seems to me a pity, because it could have been so simple. I'm begging you to give this up. I know that you're in need, with your children and your mother's funeral. Why don't you take this? Then you can call off the bet. What bet? I know you have sworn to seduce me, and at this rate you will succeed, so... That's a disgusting lie! Who told you that? Marie? She's a good friend, I have no reason to doubt her. Once I wrote you a letter and asked her to deliver it. I found out that she signed her own name to it! Surely you realise she wants you for herself? - Dear lady, please... - Don't worry, I'm going! She's right. We're not suited. I'm not full of virtues and noble qualities. I love, that is all. But I love strongly, exclusively, steadfastly. - You remember? - (CHILDREN LAUGH) (KNOCK AT DOOR) - MALLEFIILLE: George? - (LOCK RATTLES) - Is madame at home, please? - Yes, monsieur. - Madame? Please excuse me. - Sophie! There's no more. I'm empty. That's the last you'll get from me. - I will return another time. - Don't go. You haven't visited me for a long time. Forgive me. My health has been hateful. Franz is away. All the royal houses of Europe have invited him to play, it seems. Even Russia. Like most peasants, he has a weakness for crowned heads. You may turn around. Please sit. Thank you. Do you hear anything from Madame Sand? - Will she be coming to Paris this year? - I am no longer her friend. She severed herself from Franz and me with no explanation. - You have her latest book, I see. - Yes. - Have you read it? - I wouldn't touch such trash. Madame, last summer you gave me a letter. Yes, I took a chance... you would forgive me speaking the truth of my heart. In fact, I was appalled. But I could not reject it entirely. Something touched me. A phrase, like a tune one can't forget. - Shall I remind you what you wrote? - Do. "I am not full of virtues and noble qualities." "I love, that is all." "But I love strongly, exclusively, steadfastly." Imagine my surprise when I found that here. I see I must confess. When I wrote you that letter, my tender feelings for you so overpowered me I could not find words of clarity and persuasion. I was desperate. I looked around me for help. I saw George's book and stole what I needed. But a year ago this book had not been published. Or even written, I suspect. I think I've found the truth, for which I thank you, and I owe Madame Sand an apology. Perhaps now she and I can become friends. Don't be content with just a little truth. George will never be content with just your friendship. She wants your manhood. Your virtue, your genius, your soul. Listen to me! That woman is a graveyard! But I can help you. I can inspire you. This is the novel and that's the last chapter of the memoir. - It's a bit on the thin side. - So's my life. - Do you know of a good tutor? - I'll ask around. By the way, Mr Chopin came to see me last week. He asked if you would call on him when you were in town. Mmm! Do I hear a duet? Perhaps this is not the last chapter, eh? Give me my money, you jackal! Madame Aurora Dudevant. Aurora is the name I was born with. Aurora. What a lovely name. The dawn. (PLAYS "FANTASIE-IMPROMPTU IN C MINOR") (SIGHS) - I'm not happy with it. - Why? Because a perfect impromptu should seem spontaneous and free. No-one should be able to guess at the desperate calculation behind it. I've been struggling with this for so long. It's like being tangled in a net. I feel... I have terrible dreams at night. I think if I ever finish it, then it will have finished me. You must suffer tortures to find the perfect word that will make it all seem effortless. Me? Suffer for art? You must be joking. I suffer quite enough for life. I have no hope to be perfect. I simply pump out pages for money. No, your books are admirable. I've been reading them. Have you? GEORGE: Ah. Is this your family? No, that's my fiancee. Well, we are no longer engaged. Her family didn't feel that I was a very good risk for a husband. No-one expects me to live very long. - Balls! - I beg your pardon? Look, I don't believe you're ill at all. You just need more strength. Take mine. Really. I have too much of it. - No. - Yes. I want you so. - No. - Oh! Forgive me. I... fear that we would harm the memory of our beautiful afternoon. Yes. Yes, of course. All right. Who's taught you to be afraid? No wonder you're choking to death. Someone's got to show you how to breathe. Come on. Come on. You need light and air. You need to move about. Why stay inside wrestling with perfection? Come outside! Perfection is flowing all around you! - MALLEFIILLE: George! - No! Run, Chopin! - Excuse me? - Yes. I won't kill you here as you deserve. I will kill you honourably at dawn tomorrow. With any weapon you prefer. You wish to fight me? You have stolen my lady's affections. - I wish the chance to avenge myself. - GEORGE: Mallefille! No! Very well, monsieur. I will give you the opportunity. But not the prize. Let's go back. This is ridiculous. What, run for my hole like a rabbit? I could never respect myself afterwards. Nor could you, Aurora. I'm going to fight at dawn for the right to see another dawn. - Eugene. - It's too late. He's in love. Monsieur. Madame. Welcome. The doctor is here. These are my seconds. The sun is rising. Shall we go? Please. I wonder... Is there by any chance a cleaner one? - Don't hurt him. Aim at the clouds. - He is not much more than a cloud. I'll come back to you. I'll never see him again. Just stop these silly heroics. You have placed me in an impossible position. All I have left is a show of strength. Besides, women like that sort of thing. Are you insane? Pretty dress. Are you ready, gentlemen? And... one. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. - This man has fainted! - That man is wounded. Too bad! Help us lift him. Wait! Come back! I knew it! It's the frail one! Oh, my God! Is he dead? I hope the damp hasn't killed him. - Show us your finest room. - I have one ready. Give him milk when he wakes up. Try not to excite him. Thank you, Doctor. And now you'd best have a look at this rump. - You've humiliated me. - Good. You'll be too embarrassed to speak of it. No-one must know what's happened. - Gentlemen, do I have your word? - Yes. And you, monsieur? After all the time we spent together, how could you? In cold blood? It was easy. You're a menace to the future of art. Goodbye. Remember what the doctor said. Try not to excite him. - He needs peace. - I know what he needs. Go home. Paint something dead. - Aurora? - Yes. I feel very weak. - Have I been wounded? - No. No. On the contrary, you wounded him. In his shooting arm, too. He never even had time to fire. It was a brilliant fight. And then I fell? I suppose I swooned away like a woman. You were overcome by... the violence of what you'd done. You're a sensitive man. It was very hard. - I remember the gun was shaking so. - You see? You're stronger than you knew. And I thought you needed me. But I do need you. Drink your milk. Where are the others? They've gone. - Gone? - Mm-hm. But how will we get back to Paris? Why don't we stay here for a few days? It's peaceful. It's discreet. Chopin. Do you love me? God help me, I do. You are superb. Don't. What is wrong? I'm frightened. Of me? Certain acts are unseemly. They are unsuitable. Chopin. It's an act of love. It's the divine mystery itself. You must think I'm inexperienced, but I assure you, I was baptised in the brothels of Paris when I first arrived. But, um... I'm so ill, and I have been for such a long time, and my body is such a great disappointment to me that I've already said goodbye to it. I'm not really in it any more. I'm just happier floating about in music. And if I should come back inside this miserable collection of bones, then I am afraid that it would probably collapse altogether. Forgive me. - I am ashamed. - No, no. Forgive me. I'm a fraud, you know. Divine mystery! I've never experienced that with anyone. I've always had disastrous relationships. - I've never managed to stay in love. - Why? I don't know. I want too much. I think. Except when I hear you play. And when I'm around you. Look... I simply want to be with you. The rest doesn't matter. Really. Do you think we could just... be together? Like this? Yes. Yes. Well, I have at last heard "yes". So... that's enough. And I'm happy. So we'll go back to Paris. (LISZT AND MARIE ARGUING) (BABY SCREAMS) Sophie! Will you please take them for a walk? Throw them in the Seine! I don't care! So George has caught another butterfly. Why shouldn't he fall in love with her? He hasn't fallen in love. He has succumbed to her. The poor man was simply standing there and was crushed under her wheels. It's not too late. Franz, you must go over at once and talk to him. Please. Excellent. Thank you. Show me. That is perfect. Thank Monsieur Villon for me. We can be off. Franz. I... I didn't know you were back. - Countess. - You're going out? Er, yes, I'm just leaving. The Etudes are published. I didn't know. Let's have a listen. Could you take those downstairs for me? And this trunk has to go. (STARTS PLAYING) Franz, Chopin's going out. We'll come with you so we can talk. I'm going to meet Madame Sand. - This is wonderful! - You play it better than I. You're going on a trip? Franz! Chopin is going to meet Madame Sand. Franz thinks you're making a mistake. He's in a position to caution you. He once had his own experience with George. - Marie, I told you nothing happened. - So you love to claim. You must listen to him, because, one way or another, Franz knows exactly who she is. GEORGE: I've always wanted to know. See here, darling. Chopin has dedicated the Etudes to you. To me? It is a tremendous honour. What did you do to deserve it, I wonder? Marie is an angel of inspiration. It's good to see you, Franz. You should come back to Paris more often. We all get into such trouble when you're away. Where are you taking him? For a long time now I have blamed myself for your unhappiness and suffering. And when I think of the music I might have written if not for the guilt which has murdered my vitality all these years! But Chopin has seen a happier side of you, it seems. You can't think that I... that he and I were lovers? I'm not sure it was a good idea of yours dedicating the Etudes to her. Why not? We are in love. We can afford to be generous. They're running away together! It's a catastrophe! - It sounds like fun to me. - Oh, I see. Ever the wily peasant you are. With Chopin out of Paris, your music no longer suffers the comparison! They say Majorca is the most magical island in the world. The sun will bake that silly cough out of your lungs in no time. Think of it! Spain! Pirates! Pirates! Don't you understand? She'll kill him! She'll kill him! CHOPIN: May we shut this, please? No, darling, the air is good for you. (CHOPIN COUGHS) Visiontext Subtitles: Gill Parrott ENHOH (Chopin's "Fantasie-Impromptu in C minor") (woman) Aurora! Aurora! Hear me, O Corambe. Corambe, thou who art man, woman and god in one, hear me. I free this bird in thy name. Come to me, sublime being. I want to know the meaning of Iife. And I want to find perfect, perfect love. I free this lizard in thy name. Don't be dead. (tuts) Oh, balls. My little ritual in the woods didn't always go smoothly, but I was never discouraged and I never gave up hoping for an answer. (cock crows) (frantic cIucking) - That won't work. - Fish are attracted to a bright colour. Your fish will die of fear first. - Are you coming? - MaIIefiIIe will come looking for us. - We're supposed to have our lessons. - No, he won't. He's sleeping with Mummy. She doesn't get up till noon. He's not sleeping with Mummy. She doesn't like him any more. My love? My soul? - My sweet? - (knocking) My heart? (lock rattles) George? George, please let me in. Are you from the printers? We've been waiting... Madame Sand. Pardon. please excuse... (murmuring) Madame Sand is on her way up. Don't do that! (whistles) It is rather far. - I'II have to face her, that's all. - alfred! I'II be perfectly behaved. Even a little scornful. No, you won't. You'II be impossible. I don't want a scene. Now get in there. And hurry up! hello, George! I wasn't expecting you till next month. - How are the children, the country? - Fine. Listen. I need another 3,000 francs. What happened to the advance you got? You know my expenses. The children, the estate, my mother's nursing home... The divorce took half of everything. AII right. But let me have one more instalment first. How? I've got no place to work. What's wrong with the country? MaIIefiIIe is there. The children do need a tutor, but... I just can't stand the sight of him any more. I tell him outright I want him to leave and he plainly refuses. I'm a coward, of course. I can never simply boot my lovers down the stairs. - Ha! - What? Why don't you stay here in Paris and write? Because alfred's here. I've got to go somewhere. Anywhere, I don't know. Maybe I should just curl up and die, yes? Listen, BuIoz. I need 3,000 francs now. Let me read this... and we'II talk tonight at the Baroness Laginsky's party. I hadn't planned to attend. alfred might be there. I know for a fact that he won't. AII right. - What's that? - marvellous. - Her memoirs? Am I in it? - No! This bit's about her childhood. You'II come in later, after she chews up her husband and a hundred others. It's true. She's a cannibal. She'd drink her children's blood from her lover's skull and not feel a stomachache. alfred, go home. Put it into verse, I'II publish it. Then you'II get paid. Thanks to you I can't go to the baroness's party. - In fact, I'II have to leave Paris. - No more advances. I don't need your money, old sow. I've had an invitation to the country. From a duchess, no less. Good day. (strains of piano music) (coughs) This summer dust is ruinous to my lungs. I hope the air will be better in Angers. The Duchess d'Antan has invited you too? - well, yes. - How delightful. please continue, dear fellow. - Good day, Countess. - (gasps) George! - I'm sorry I frightened you. - (baby cries) I had the most fearful dream. BIandine was a terrible creature with fly's wings that was draining my Iife from me. They are deadly little charmers. Chromatic gIissando. The wings of a butterfly. Or the wrath of God. (baby cries) He wakes the baby, then complains about the crying. - How is Franz? - He's a saint. sublime. He'II even stay that way if you don't marry him. Yes, well, there's no danger of that. The count won't divorce me. Since I Ieft him, he won't even allow me to see the children. well, now you've begun a new family. still, I prefer to be married. I know you thumb your nose at all that. It's funny. I thought I'd die of suffocation when I was married. Now it's my freedom that's killing me. (baby cries) Sophie! tell me, have you been invited to Angers next week? The Duke and Duchess d'Antan have asked us to their estate. (baby screams) Sophie! Where is that wretch? Excuse me. Franz? I will see you. You're not going to Angers too? Eugene! A whole fortnight among some tiresome old aristocrats. A fortnight of free food, exquisite scenery and no bills. And all you have to be is brilliant at dinner. She doesn't seem bothered she's being eaten alive. No. She'd probably say "Better to feel something than nothing." Even if it's teeth. (piano being played) Madame Sand! Oh, what a great honour you do my humble salon! delighted to meet you, Baroness. I'm looking for my publisher, Monsieur BuIoz. He's in the salon with the others, but you'II have to wait to go in. I've so longed to meet you! I knew your father when he was young. - really? - Yes. We girls were enraged when we heard he'd married that dancer. - You mean my mother? - Oh... of course. - Is she still living? - Yes. - But she's ill now. - How sad. And what a tragedy your father died so young. The Count de Saxe. So dashing. Those idiots! Excuse me. Not yet! (Baroness mutters angrily) (souIfuI piano passage) Madame Sand! Is it true that you're writing a memoir? - Do you pray, Baroness? - If you must know, I'm secretly devout. - Do you ever hear an answer? - To my prayers? well, no. There... is the answer. Ah, you mean Monsieur Chopin. How clever. It's very rare to hear him play, you know. The Duchess d'Antan is having him for a whole fortnight at her house in Angers. I couId only wish I were a fly on the wall. Except that they already have crowds of files down there. I do find the provinces beastIy. - (applause) - Monsieur Liszt will play next. - Ah, George. I read your... - In a minute. George! You'II want to sit over here, my dear. The respectable people are over there. - could you point out Monsieur Chopin? - Chopin? But he left. Don't you know him? He's frail as a holy wafer. Look at those hypocrites. They've shunned me all evening. I'm thrilled not to be one of them any more. Their lives are so boring. You see? Every single one is throbbing for him. They know perfectly well why I ran off with him. For his teeth. (plays theatrical piece) (shrieks excitedly) charles? charles! charles! - (gunshot) - (gasps) Grab it! Grab it! darling! charles! charles! I've had the most extraordinary letter! Madame George Sand is quite brazenly inviting herself to the fortnight! You know the one. She wears men's clothes and leads a most depraved life! I'm dying to meet her. charles? She writes that marriage is barbaric, darling. They say no marriage is safe around her. Just think, she might take a fancy to your turkey wattIes. Didier! Don't touch that! Come here! I'm in a quandary because I've invited alfred de Musset. Everybody knows he and Madame Sand practically tore each other to pieces. I'm petrified that if they so much as clap eyes on each other... (howIs with rage) Has anyone ever met this duchess? No. Must be one of those titled tarts stuck in the provinces with an uncouth husband. She's probably famished for culture and determined to import it at any cost. charles! - Where are you going? - Hunting. - Goodbye. I'II be back in a few days. - But you can't! - Our guests arrive today. - precisely. You blockhead! These are the great geniuses of our time, gathered together in our home! They are a gang of parasites. After a few days in their company, I expect you'II come to your senses. You'II humiliate me if you don't receive them. charles! You don't want me to be a success! Gustav? Gustav! Attach little bags of seed to the branches. I want thousands of birds singing when they come up the avenue. darling? You're not dressed properly. Go and put on your pink waistcoat. - (gunshot) - Oh! That murderer! There won't be a bird left in the sky! welcome! Yes. Come on, HeIene. welcome! In my house, you are the nobility. The nobility of genius. Madame Sand! - hello. How was your trip? - Madame Sand! I'm melting with delight! Oh, and you've brought your two boys! - I'm a girl. - Ah. Here, Master DeIacroix. I have given you my own studio. The light, you can see, is perfection. When is Monsieur Chopin arriving? Tomorrow. Or so he wrote to me in his letter. Here is the theatre! Sometimes we indulge ourselves in little amateur productions. And here, Madame Sand, is your workroom. If you open the doors, perhaps our southern moonlight will inspire you to write those sublime novels which I so admire. George! Up, quick! We have food for a picnic! And a donkey! Come, before the dreaded duchess finds us. Cheers. Come on! What is wrong with our Georgie? She is incurably disgusted. With what? Love, no doubt. She should only have what Marie and I have. (men laugh) only God deserves love. I adore this silence. - (baby screams) - (Liszt groans) George has gone off, it seems. - shall we go and look for her? - Can you walk? Not presently. I need this rest. My tour next month is 20 cities. - Where are you going? - Vienna, Geneva... You're going on a tour? darling, did I forget to tell you? What of your writing, your work? What of me? Am I going with you? We'II talk about it later. Sophie! We're going back. (groans) (blast on horn) (another blast) (horse neighs) (neighs in pain) (gunshot) Thank you, young man. What a magnificent horse. Must have been a great hunter. Yes. Yes. I'd invite you to my home for a drink, but I've got a house full of fops. Guests of my wife's. I won't let her move to Paris so she's trying to bring Paris here. still, it's her money. And I Iove her for it. (laughs) Where are you staying, lad? At the inn? That is either Monsieur Chopin or Monsieur de Musset. - You haven't invited alfred? - I'm afraid so. Do you think it'II be a disaster? Why do you laugh? This will be judgement day for George. She should pay for her sins like any other fallen woman. She can't avoid everything by being a man. That's not alfred at all. This gets better and better. - Who is it? - FeIicien MaIIefiIIe. - He's the children's tutor. - He can discipline those two savages! I wonder where I shall put him, though. In George's room, of course. That's what he's accustomed to. No! He is a handsome brute! How does she merit all these men? (Marie) He looks angry. I don't think he appreciated being left behind at Nohant. - George! - George! I'II give you a horse to ride back to the inn. - There's something I must confess. - Drat! We've been seen! Shit! (MaIIefiiIIe) George! Not that one, monsieur! He's a devil! By God! What a fine seat that fellow George has. Madame George Sand, dear. The authoress. (coughing) (horse neighs) - Are you ready now to face me? - God, MaIIefiIIe! Not now! Yes, now. No kisses? Where's my greeting? Didn't you get my letter? Yes. Your message was clear indeed... between the lines. - I will defend my position. - Oh, balls! You're not in the army any more. You had an affair, not a pitched battle. Oh, MaIIefiIIe. Poor boy. It won't hurt for long. - I know it must seem unfair. - George. - You promised to love me. - I didn't promise to succeed. - Whom did you come here to meet? - No-one. help me off with my boots. He should write his epitaph because I'm going to kill him! Your rival is imaginary! If you're not going to help, go and find somewhere to sleep and leave me! Make that two epitaphs, because I'II kill you if I find... Oh, my God, you're hurt! You're bleeding. Yes. Be a dear. Ask UrsuIa if she's got something for a bandage. Of course. Don't move. No. (lock clicks) Bastard! (gentle piano music) (dog barking) (gasps) (yells) Oh, don't stop! Monsieur Chopin, you were in the middle of a miracle. I'm not quite yet cured. How did you get in? Who are you? I am your slave. And you have summoned me with your music. Oh, yes. I think I know who you are. I have heard you described. Madame Sand, rumour has it you are a woman, and so I must ask you to leave my private chambers. Have I offended your modesty? I apologise. - play me one more piece and I'II go. - This is ridiculously improper! And frightening as well. please leave now. still, I am content. I've seen you at last. And I am delighted to find you're not a man at all. You're an angel. Hands, halo, wings... everything. Good night, my dream. My poor lady, you are a wreck. I am a resurrected wreck. Move over. (grunting) Citizen Maurice, the prisoner is ready for execution. Viscount de Swamp, you are guilty of crimes against the people of France. To the guillotine! To the guillotine! To the guillotine! The king has escaped! - Catch him! - I will! Tyrant! You will be brought to justice. - Long live the republic! - (gunshot) - The king's guard! We're surrounded. - We'II hold the king as hostage. We'II shoot the viscount and throw them his body and demand their surrender. Do we have enough ammunition to hold them off? - I don't think so. - I can help you. - My papa's got plenty of gunpowder. - This could be very useful. (girl) beautiful! (both) Yes! Good morning... master. - Morning, excellency. - CIaudette. Ah. velvet flowers. Did you make these, CIaudette? I have a tiny talent and an enormous amount of time. But have you come to work? I will leave you in peace. Oh, no. (giggles) It's very bad. No, don't! Ooh! That's really quite good. One, two. (piano transcription of Beethoven's "Symphony No.6 in F") You're a fine shot, sir. I can see you're not one of those perfumed prancers in there. - What do you say to a little hunting? - I am standing guard on my mistress. That one? She doesn't need your protection, by God. Fascinating creature. I'm sure she'd rather come hunting with us than sit around arranging her flounces. "One warm word from you and I Iive. One brutal word and I die." "It doesn't matter, for I am not afraid of death any more." "I have already visited the beyond in your music." - will you take it to him? - Why don't you take it to him yourself? I've been avoiding him all morning. He's had a poor first impression of me, I fear. Before I meet him again, I want him to be convinced of my complete sincerity. well? What do you think? Look, you know him. How will he respond? I can't imagine any man resisting this prose. It would melt the alps. But tell me, why do you pounce on our poor Chopin? My dear, he's got one foot in the grave. No, no. We shall all be in our graves soon enough. But Chopin is eternal. The only permanent thing about him is his cough. (Duke) Ah. - AII right. - Thank you, my friend. Madame Sand, will you delight us with your company on a hunt? I must decline, Your excellency. My maid is fitting me for a dress this afternoon. A dress? (piano transcription of Beethoven's Sixth continues) (laughter and absorbed chatter) - Quick! - (fiinaI chord) Perfect! marvellous. darling, George proposes a game of croquet. excellent idea. Chopin will join us. Oh, no. please excuse me. I do not really like the sun. Hah! Dear friend... I do not wish you to be burned. (coughs) (knocking) Excuse me. I'm sorry, my friend. May I speak with you? Something very terrible has happened. - Oh! - Ah! Again. - George seems more cheerful. - Mm. She has a crush on Chopin. The polish corpse? - They couldn't be more different. - Then they will definitely fall in love. I suppose as friends we should help them along. absolutely not! Franz, you and I must put ourselves between them at every opportunity. - Marie! Your turn. - Yes. He is so frail, darling. You know George will finish him off. - The countess made advances to you? - She is my friend's mistress. - She has borne his child. - He wouldn't mind if she changed hands. really, I don't understand the attitude of you people. Are we at a livestock sale? She's a woman, not a goat. - Are you in love with her yourself? - Of course not. "I'm not full of virtues and noble qualities." "I Iove, that is all." "But I Iove strongly, exclusively, steadfastly." No, it's like something out of a novel... like that dreadful woman writes. - If you can call her a woman. - George? She makes a great hash of her life, but she's got a good heart. That's why so many men don't want to let go of her. George knows how to love... while she loves. The countess has an extraordinary style. I'd not have guessed there was a volcano under that ice. We can't find anything, citizen. The viscount has been completely obliterated. - Good to see you. - Good evening. They're all in here. follow me. What the devil... Good God, CIaudette! Go back upstairs and change! - Pooh! - Ow! hello! welcome. well, he left the salon at that moment. CIaudette's decided to dress as a man for some reason. Do you want a drink? At that stage everyone started to laugh. At last! Madame Sand! Everybody's staring at me. It's a revelation wearing trousers. I feel quite the bully! George in a dress? Red and white, the colours of the polish flag. That's a bit of overkill. I tell you, we'II discuss it... May I take your arm? My husband's in a temper tonight because I'm wearing his britches. George, Chopin does not deserve to be collected. He's so fragile, you know he might... What's this? A secret? Is he the one you came here to meet? MaIIefiIIe, if you can't behave, go to your room. I am quite marooned. will you... partner me? Of course. - Bon appetit. - (all) Bon appetit. I understand many of you artists are atheists. Atheists? Oh, no. No, we feel that God exists. He's just not considered worth all the trouble of denying him. Oh, really! The baron is baiting you. He maintains there is no scientific evidence of God. And I reply "Because civilisation has poured dust on his traces." All right, then. - (Knock) - (Parrot) Come in. Shut up! Come in. (Parrot) Shut Up. Come in. Oh, come in, everyone. I've brought Constable Wilson, m'lady. He's going to perform the ceremony. Oh, good. Well, now, you stand over here. That's right. Stokes, you're going to be best man. You stand next to the groom. James, you're to give the bride away. And Ethel and her mother will be the bridesmaids. We're the bridesmaids, Mother. That'll be nice. What am I? The congregation. Right. Go and fetch the bride, she's waiting on the landing. As soon as you hear the wedding march, come in. We don't want it to be too loud, so I've put in a soft needle and stuffed a pair of bloomers down the horn. That's the best thing to do, that is. This is ridiculous, Mr Twelvetrees. Do we 'ave to do it? Yes, Ivy, we do. His lordship gave strict instructions to humour Lady Lavender at all times. Otherwise she might not leave him her money. Be quiet, Mabel, and hand me the parrot. Haven't you got anything religious to put on? I'm afraid not, m'lady. Put your helmet on. Oh, that's splendid. (* The Wedding March) - Get on with it. - What shall I say? Make it up. (Clears throat) Dearly beloved, we are gathered together... to marry that parrot... to that parrot. - Amen. - Amen. Hear, hear. Go on. Now, if there is anyone here, who knows of any just cause or impediment why these two parrots should not be joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace. Amen. Aagh. What's next? What's next? Who givethetheth? - What? - Who givethetheth? Who giveth this parrot? I do. Where's the ring? What are you talking about? You're as potty as she is. (Clears throat) I now pronounce you Parrot and Mrs Parrot. Those that I have joined together, let no parrot put asunder. Oh, it's so beautiful. I always cry at weddings. Is that all? The best man may now kiss the bride. (Rings) Lord Meldrum's residence. Yes. Yes, I see. I will inform her ladyship without delay. (* Waltz on gramophone) (Knock at door) Come in. - Excuse me, my lady. - Shh. They're on their honeymoon. lsn't it romantic? The manager of the pet department at Harrods has just telephoned. Apparently, it is very difficult to tell the sex of a parrot. I'm sure parrots don't make a mistake. The manager did, my lady. He sent you another male parrot. Really? Oh, dear. Well, they seem to be managing all right. Here you are, Mrs Lipton. It's the last one. Oh. Perhaps I... I better purée some tomatoes and put them in. Ooh, don't use real tomatoes, you'll spoil it. Who is coming, exactly? Well, there's Mr Foster the works manager, Mr Barnes the foreman, and that Scotch chap who's the union secretary. I hope he doesn't make a scene. Always envious, those sort of people. (Ivy) Ooh. Six cod and chips, six haddock and chips, threepenn'orth of spare chips and a dozen pickled onions. Come to six and threepence. Here's the change, Mr Twelvetrees. Thank you, Henry. Did you get any crispy bits? Yeah, I got those for nothing cos it was such a big order. Cor, what a lovely smell. Did you put salt and vinegar on? No, I didn't think it would be to his lordship's taste. You put them in the warming oven, James, I can't stand the smell. Am I to understand it's fancy dress tonight, sir? No. We want to put the workers at their ease. I see, sir. Pour me one, George. What on earth have you done to yourself? Perhaps the cap is too much. You look absurd. What do you mean? There was a man digging up the road, he was dressed exactly like this. So I made a list, gave it to my tailor, and he sent them round. For God's sake, take that awful red hankie off. Put it back on again. - What are you doing in that get-up? - It was you father's idea, - so as not to embarrass the guests. - You are a silly arse, I simply said we won't dress for dinner. We just looked out the window and saw three men looking at their watches. I don't want to worry you, but they were all wearing dinner jackets. - (Bell) - Oh, my God! - Don't answer it, Stokes! - May I enquire why not? They're wearing dinner jackets, we've got to change. - Come on, James. - Very good, sir. Answer the door and attend to them. We'll be right down. Yes, Mr Twelvetrees. Oh, er, good evening. We're a bit early, I'm afraid. Oh, that's all right. Come in. (Door closes) I'll take your hats and coats. Nice weather we've been having. I was saying to my wife this morning what nice weather we've been having. - It rained last Thursday. -Yes, but apart from that. - It didn't rain very much. - No. Came through my roof. Nearly had the ceiling down. I'm sure his lordship's maid doesn't want to hear our domestic problems. I don't mind, I'm very sympathetic. This way, please, and I'll announce you. Just look at this place. All got through the sweat of our labours. Don't start, Jock. We've only just got through the door. - Mr Foster. - (Cissy) Good evening, Mr Foster. - Mr Barnes. - (Foster) Good evening. (Cissy) Hello. (Poppy) Hello. - What your name? - Jock McGregor. Jock McGregor. Do come in. I'm Cissy Meldrum, this is my sister Poppy. I-I won't shake hands. A kid were sucking' a stick of toffee on the bus and it went all over the handrails. Ooh, aren't you strong? Your muscles are bursting out of that suit. It fits you very well, of course. You develop muscles when you work for a living. May I say what an honour it is to be invited to your beautiful home. We think it's a bit old-fashioned but you can't shift Daddy. We know that fine at the factory. I'm serving drinks, who wants stout and who wants raspberryade? Nonsense, Ivy, I'll mix some cocktails. Now, who fancies a white lady? It's going to be agony, George. They could stop for hours. How will we get rid of them? Don't worry. I've invited the bishop after dinner. One look at his dog collar and they'll be off. Ah, hello, everybody. Sorry to have kept you waiting. Oh, not at all, my lord. I was just saying what an honour it is, and a privilege, - to be invited to your beautiful home. - Ah. It's quite a nice old place. At least the roof doesn't leak. To your health, my lord. And your delightful family. (Lord Meldrum) Thank you. Do we eat this or is just for ornamentation? Give it to Foster, he'll crawl up it. (Clears throat) Er, well, how have you all been keeping? Fine, fine. (High-pitched) Fine. Good. Good. My nephew's, er, had the chickenpox. Oh, poor little chap. How old is he? 27. Dinner is served, m'lord. Come on, you're sitting next to me. - Mr Foster. - Oh. Thank you very much. - I'm honoured, my lady. - Please, call me Cissy. Come along, Teddy. Show Mr Barnes where he's sitting. Oh. Yes, of course. Erm... been in any good pubs lately? You see, my Olive doesn't like me coming home breathing beer fumes. You can't blame her, can you? That's the soup gone up. Oh, put those greasy newspapers in the dustbin, Henry. They're smelling the place out. It's like French perfume to me. Ahh, tomato soup. My favourite. Sir. Oh. Oh, you're very kind. lsn't she kind? Don't mention it. Erm...have you been in any good pubs lately? Oh, delicious soup, my lord. Do you have a French chef? No, just an ordinary, plain cook. Eh, Stokes? Yes, very plain, my lord. Hey, Cissy, did you not speak at a meetin' of the United Workers Party? Yes, I put myself up as candidate for the party in the local by-election. - Do you think I'll get in. - Nah. Not with that eyeglass and the posh accent. We all thought you were patronising' us. I found the whole thing very embarrassing. I'm sure nobody could hold you responsible for the actions of your children, my lord. Which would you like to taste first, my lord? The stout, the raspberryade, or the Montrachet? The bishop's arrived. They're all having coffee in the drawing room. Well, I'll be off now, then. Erm, you can take those cold chips home with you. Oooh. That'll be nice. And, up...up, up, up, up, up, up, up. - (Jock) Well done, Barnesy! - Is that your card, m'lord? Well, done, Barnes. Thank you very much. Now, here's another. If you take a card, just take a card. Any card. Not too many, don't be greedy. Don't show it to me, I don't want to see it. Would you like to pop it back? - Here we are. - That's it, thank you. Now, I shall just give these a quick shuffle. Butterfingers! - (Laughter) - Listen to that. The reason for asking the bishop was to get rid of them. Come and sit down and 'ave a drink. We are on duty. Sounds as if they're having a lovely time. That conjuror's clever. The way he produced a rubber chicken from the bishop's trousers! Yeah. What about the wine they made disappear? Three bottles of Montrachet and four bottles of Château Lafite. Really. I thought you wanted the workers to have a good time. Not when I'm waitin' on 'em. They're as bad as the toffs. They ignored us. That Scotchman didn't ignore Miss Poppy. I was watching him, disgraceful. Fancy a man of that class daring to put his hand on a lady's knee! - Ah, well done, Barnes. - Thank you. Thank you, Barnes. I'll give you one. I'll give you one. 'Twas a dirty night and a dirty trick When a ship turned over in the Atlantic... They'll be here all night at this rate. (Chuckles) It's the toffs entertaining the workers. What about us? We're workers. Pearls before swine. They were guzzling that fine wine as if it were beer. It's a topsy-turvy world, James. Have a glass of port. (Laughter and applause) All right, I will. Pass the cigars. Can I 'ave some raspberryade? * So I pulled her into bed and I covered up her head * Just to save her from the foggy, foggy dew * Now I am a bachelor I live with my son * And we work at the weaver's trade * And every, every time I look into his eyes * He reminds me of that fair young maid * He reminds me of the summertime * And of the winter too * And the many, many times that I held her in my arms * Just to save her from the foggy, foggy dew * Bravo, Charles! Sorry I'm so late, they just wouldn't go. But everyone had a lovely time. From now on, Mr Teddy wants fish and chips every Friday. Miss Poppy's very naughty, isn't she? What with being engaged to Dickie Metcalfe, and egging on that Scotchman, Jock McGregor. She's fella-fond. Poor James, he's tortured day and night by unrequited love. Ooh, talking of love, there's one thing I don't understand. How can a bishop, who's a bachelor, have a son? Good night. Good night, Dorothy. Ripped by malgabo Sync by sutyiboy * From Mayfair to Park Lane * You will hear this same refrain * In every house again, again You rang, m'lord? * Stepping out on the town * The social whirl goes round and round * The rich are up, the poor are down You rang, m'lord? * The bunny hug at The Shim-Sham Club * The Charleston at The Ritz * And at the Troc, do the turkey trot * They give Aunt Maud a thousand fits * Talking flicks are here today * And Lindbergh's from the USA * Poor Valentino's passed away... * How sad, m'lord. SHOCHIKU presents A film by AKIRA KUROSAWA RHAPSODY IN AUGUST A Kurosawa Production Presented by Feature Film Enterprise 2 Executive Producer: Toru Okuyama Producer: Hisao Kurosawa From the novel by Kiyoko Murata Associate Director: Ishiro Honda Associate Producers: Mike Y. Inoue, Seikichi lizumi Photography: Takao Saito, Masaharu Ueda Art Direction: Yoshiro Muraki Lighting: Takeji Sano Recording: Kenichi Benitani Costumes: Kazuko Kurosawa Music: From Schubert and Vivaldi and by Shinichiro Ikebi With Sachiko Murase Hidetaka Yoshioka - Tomoko Ontakara Mie Suzuki - Mitsunori Isaki Hisashi Igawa - Toshie Negeshi Choichiro Kawarasaki - Namuri Kayashima and Richard Gere Written and Directed by Akira Kurosawa It was kind of a funny summer. During vacation, nothing but strange things seemed to happen. And the boy a rose did see Give it up! That organ! It gets worse as you try to fix it. I will absolutely fix it. I got into college. Finally managed to get out of the examination hell. Made up my mind. Absolutely no studying during this summer vacation. I've got plenty of time to fix this organ, absolutely... Here we go again with Tateo's "absolutely. " You said it three times already. A letter from Hawaii. Pictures are enclosed. Let's see. "I hasten to inform you that we were met... "by the family of Suzujiro's son at Honolulu Airport. " Dad has a lei. "We knew that Suzujiro's deceased wife was an American... "but were somewhat surprised to find... "that all the family members were 100 percent Americans. " Terrific! This is a Cadillac limousine! His son Clark and wife, Natalie... and their children Michael and Emily. This Michael and Emily look like they are just about our age. And Emily, she's a very beautiful girl. - Tateo, are you falling for her? - Stupid! "But all of them speak broken Japanese, which set our minds at ease. " I understand how they felt. Father is rather poor with English. "After a comfortable drive of about 20 minutes... "we arrived at Suzujiro's residence. "Immediately we met Suzujiro, who was sick in bed. " Is he Grandma's elder brother? "Suzujiro looked better than we had anticipated. "He was so pleased that he held our hands tightly... "and did not want to let go for quite some time. "But he was very disappointed that Grandma did not come. "He repeatedly asked us what was wrong with her... "and we didn't know how to answer him. "Since Grandma had said no... "we came to see Suzujiro on her behalf... "which was the wrong thing to do. "We are her blood relatives... "but after all, we are actually strangers as far as Suzujiro is concerned. "The person he really wanted to see was the lone survivor... "his sister, Grandma. "We can't do her job. "Suzujiro, who had kept his eyes closed for a while... "opened them, and said: "'Grandma might as well come to see him... "'with her grandchildren during summer vacation. ' "He said, 'We would feel easier that way. ' "It's a good idea, please do what he said. " - Going to... - To Hawaii. "I also think it's a good idea. "Grandma, please think it over again. "A trip to Hawaii is not too different... "from a trip between Nagasaki and Tokyo, where our home is. " That's right! "I also beg your favor. "Please come to Hawaii with your four grandchildren... "and meet Suzujiro. "With hasty regards, Tadao. " Grandma, it's a very good idea! You should go, absolutely. - Everybody to Hawaii! - Wonderful! - It will be a great holiday! - Grandma, let's go! Let's go, please! Wait! My mother also wrote... "Dear Grandma, Suzujiro told us to stay at his home. "No sense staying at a hotel. "We decided to take advantage of his hospitality. "It is such a big, magnificent residence. "We are just loafing around. "The garden is beautiful, and nothing is better than the ocean-side view. "Grandma, please do come! Yoshie. " Look! It's a gorgeous home! It looks just like a hotel! Here's another letter. It's from Clark, Suzujiro's son. It's written in katakana. Here, can you see it? "Dear Aunt... "I am the son... "of your eldest brother... "Suzujiro Haruno. "Ever since my father... "came from Japan... "to Hawaii in 1920... "he lived with the pineapples... "and he will soon die as an American... "leaving me this vast farm. "He tells me that he wishes to see you... "his younger sister, before he dies. "Please come and see my father. "Sincerely yours, Clark. " It's touching! It sure is. Say, Grandma, let's go to Hawaii. You heard what the letter said. It wouldn't be nice for you not to go. But still, this is all so strange. It could be some kind of mistake. Cut it out now! Sure, if Grandma was a millionaire... it's possible it could be a swindler claiming to be your brother. But I bet there is no one fool enough... to bother lying about being a brother of poor Grandma. In the first place, these people are rich! Suzujiro Haruno. Surely, my maiden name is Haruno... but I can't remember the name Suzujiro. After all, I was born in a poor family that was blessed only with children. I had more than ten brothers and sisters. More than ten? Besides that, this man is an American, isn't he? - How could he be my big brother? - It was written in the letter. He went to Hawaii as an immigrant and became naturalized. Although he has American citizenship... Grandma's brother is still Grandma's brother. This guy Suzujiro must be Grandma's elder brother. Right. Otherwise, what would be the reason for him trying to find you? I know... what you mean, but... Guess it's about the right time to eat some kidney beans. Real stubborn. That's for sure. "Who needs them!" There's no television. And that refrigerator, guess how much I had to beg her to buy it? She still won't go for a washing machine. "Washing can be done without a thing like that," she says. A stone head, with a reed screen over it. It's delicious, really delicious! Eating with all of you makes the food extra tasty. Grandma. Let my sister cook the meals starting tomorrow. I'm sure it will be good for everybody. And it will be much easier on you, too, Grandma. Don't worry about me. To put it simply... Grandma's cooking is driving us to despair. In other words, your cooking just doesn't agree with our tastes. I mean, as a matter of fact, it's just plain lousy. I'm sorry, Grandma, but... this pumpkin and kidney beans, and pumpkin and chicken... it's so boiled down with soy sauce that we can't even tell which piece is which. - It is so black, and pulpy, and salty... - Tateo! I think Grandma's cooking is lousy because of her false teeth. As long as everything is soft, it's all right with her. - But we don't have false teeth. - Shinjiro! Shinjiro, you sure are great! You did real well. That's true. Because of you... I can sit at the table starting tomorrow with a sense of relief. You mean eating is your only concern? But you can't get away that easy. Tomorrow, we go shopping in Nagasaki. - And you're coming, too, Shinjiro. - Count me out. I have the big project to convince Grandma to take us all to Hawaii with her. Yeah! That's the grand theme for this summer vacation! We shall all go to Hawaii! Absolutely! Let's all hold out! Fate is knocking at the door. Under this beautiful town of Nagasaki... there is another Nagasaki that vanished with one atomic bomb. Didn't Grandpa die in the Nagasaki atom bombing? - Yes. - How come Grandma was safe? She was at the house, behind the mountain, 10 kilometers away from the blast center. But she told me that her hair was a result of the atom bomb. That's because Grandma came to Nagasaki on that day, looking for Grandpa. The school where Grandpa was teaching was close to the blast center. And did she find Grandpa? The school building was crushed flat and burned, and full of charred bodies. It was impossible to identify which one of them was Grandpa. Do you want to go to the school? You know, Grandma was also a teacher at this school. She quit when she married Grandpa. She sure was lucky, wasn't she? I don't know about that. When Grandpa died, our father was still a baby... and Grandma was carrying Minako's mother in her belly. Being left alone... I bet it must have been very hard on Grandma. Still... even though no one ever found Grandpa... he's here, I'm sure. That day, we went around the town of Nagasaki... because we wanted to know a lot more about the atomic bomb. Even though the atomic bomb was dropped, this survived? No, it was rebuilt. But there are some things left just as they were at that time. The angels all look as if they are crying. The atomic bomb blasted right above here. Portugal. These are monuments... sent from different countries of the world. Czechoslovakia. Italy. Poland. Bulgaria. The Soviet Union. China. Brazil. Cuba. Holland. I can't find the one from America. What do you expect? America is the one that dropped the atomic bomb. "I was so very thirsty. "Water, water. " All died uttering that word. But nowadays, for most of the people... the atomic bomb is something that happened once upon a time. People are apt to forget... even a dreadful event like that... as the years pass by. Can we leave it like that? I really pity Grandpa and Grandma. Want some ice cream? Grandma. Grandma. You're late! What have you been doing? It's all right, now, all right. What's the matter now? I think Grandma would like it not too spicy. May I start eating? I'm really embarrassed. Grandma puts her hands together to worship what I cooked. - And it was really delicious. - That's true! We're all counting on you from now on. Look at this. What is this? To convince her to agree to go to Hawaii, I talked about Suzujiro today. Then Grandma started to remember the names of her brothers. "Tetsutaro. "Dozaburo. "Jushiro. "Shogoro. "Kuginosuke. "Natakichi. "Kuwata. "Suzukichi. "Nabe. "Kane. Kyoko. " These names have the Chinese symbol for metal. Grandma's father, our great-grandfather, seems to have been a real weirdo. "Kane. " So this is our Grandma, right? - Eleven! - Eleven? And she says there must have been two or three more, but she can't remember them. And Suzujiro is among the ones she can't remember? But you know, Tetsutaro, Dozaburo, there, is number two. I think the brother between those two is Suzujiro. I'm pretty sure of it. First, the Chinese character for Suzu has the symbol for metal. Even if she could remember, Grandma won't go to Hawaii. I'm sure of it. Why's that? Grandma doesn't like America, and it's only natural. After all, Grandpa was killed by the atomic bomb. I think he's right. You see, none of us and none of our parents know about war. As for the atomic bomb... Sure, we've all heard about it. But it meant nothing more than a sort of little scary fairy tale. We never really understood the feelings of the people... who had the atom bomb dropped over their heads. We never stopped to think. Look at my mother. Just by being told that there's a rich relative in Hawaii, she got excited. Isn't it disgusting? My father's no different. He didn't even spend time with Grandma. He took off for Hawaii in a hurry. Big Sis! Here, eat these. I'm really pleased... that you are so concerned about me. I'm very grateful. But then, it was a long time ago when I felt bitter about America. It's been more than 45 years since Grandpa died. Now, I don't particularly like... or dislike America. It's all because of war. War is to blame. During the war many Japanese died... and many Americans also died. Listen... because of a man called Suzujiro or whatever... I don't think it's right for you to talk badly about your parents. I was the one who sort of drove them to go off to Hawaii... for my own joy of having the four of you here, all to myself, while they're gone. Anyway, I want all of you to stay here during summer vacation. The rich man in Hawaii means nothing to me. I'm just grateful to be able to live with you like this... because of him. Now, go on, eat. Grandma's watermelon is real tasty. Thank you! Grandpa used to play this so often... I know I got old... and so did this organ. I'll fix it. I sure will. Absolutely. You're saying "absolutely" again. There were so many of them. But they all died. All of them died because of the atomic bomb? No. Some of them died because of that, but there were some who died young... and some who died in places far away. This one, Natakichi... he was my seventh or eighth brother, I think. He left home and became a shoemaker in Nagasaki. After five years of apprenticeship... just as he was ready to open his own shop... he made a gross mistake. What did he do? Big Bro' Natakichi... eloped with the shoemaker's wife. Hey, why don't you go to bed? I'm not sleepy. Then what happened to Natakichi? My father was furious... and refused to let him come back home. So Natakichi was obliged to build a small hut... far up in the mountain behind here... and make a scanty living by making shoes there. They lived in a place... where two charred cedar trees... that had been struck by lightning... stood along the path they used in their escape. But why live in a place like that? While they were running away... the woman who was holding Natakichi's hand... saw those two trees... and said they looked like... they had committed a double suicide. And that's why they built a hut at that place. - A real weird story. - It makes me feel eerie. I'm going to bed. Me, too. I'm totally bushed today. Good night. - Tomorrow, let's all go there and see. - Go where? See what? Those two trees that committed double suicide by being struck by lightning. Don't be stupid! That happened a long time ago. Those trees can't still be there. I can't see them. Grandma told me they were still here, though. Burnt trees keep standing forever because they won't rot. There they are! That's it! Let's go and see. Why don't we just look from where we are? I don't know why, but I'm a little scared. "Those two cedar trees look as if they have committed double suicide. " "We are two elopers. "Why not live next to them?" What are you doing? Sorry! I just got carried away because of the mood. Stupid! I'm going back! Wait a minute! Hey, wait a minute! What's wrong? Something's weird. An old lady from somewhere came to visit Grandma. So what? What's so weird about that? But you see, they just sit face to face. That's it. They don't say a word, for all this time. And it's been one hour already. Grandma, see if this letter is all right to send to Hawaii. "Hello there. Grandma is now inclined to go to Hawaii. " This is just in diplomatic language. After all, we have to consider their feelings, too. "But before that, she says she wants to make sure about Suzujiro. "Even with the picture you sent, she doesn't remember... "due to his age, and his looks after being ill. "If you have a picture taken when Suzujiro was young... "please send it as soon as possible. "And ask Suzujiro to try and recall the names of his brothers. "If he recalls the names of Tetsutaro, Dozaburo and Jushiro... "those names would match Grandma's memory. "And it would mean that Suzujiro is definitely the elder brother of Grandma. "In haste, respectfully... " That's a great idea. Tateo, you are something! This is all right, isn't it? - Thank you for all your trouble. - Then I'll send it right away tomorrow. But it's possible that letter will cross father on the way. He's got a job, and it's about time for him to be coming back. No, he won't be coming back. There's the pineapple farm, even if he gets fired. That old lady who came to visit you today, what did she come here for? She came to chat with me. But you didn't talk at all. Both of you just sat there saying nothing. And then that old lady bowed to you and left without saying a word. There are things we don't need words to understand. Her husband also died... in Nagasaki, just like Grandpa. That's why she comes here now and then... sits down for a while without saying a word, and leaves without saying a word. There are people who are silent... while they are talking. This one, Suzukichi... the youngest brother. He was a little weak in the head. Ever since he lost all of his hair from the atomic bomb... he shut himself up in a room and stayed there. But on hot summer days... it must have been insufferable for him. He used to slip out when the moon came up, and sneak away for a swim... in the basin of a waterfall deep in the mountains. That's right, yes. That waterfall is a nice one. You should go there sometime. And then, that boy, what was he doing every day in the room? - He just kept on drawing pictures. - What kind of pictures? For some strange reason, only pictures of eyes. - Eyes? - Eyes like this. As long as there was paper... he just drew eyes, never getting tired of it. He's spooky! I bet those were eyes seen through an obsession. He loathed the idea of being seen with his hairless head. And he must have been obsessed by the eyes of people. It must be those eyes. This kind of drawing? That's it! That's exactly it. Those are exactly the same pictures. Come to think of it... you sure do look like Suzukichi. You are like two peas in a pod. That's really something! - Let's sleep with this door open tonight. - Why? I don't know why, but I'm scared. When I shut my eyes, the picture of those eyes glares at me. Cut it out! Now you're going to make me have a nightmare! Coward! Grandma's story, I wonder if it's true? I can't believe that Suzukichi, who was a little weak in the head... came here to swim at night. That just proves he was weak in the head. Isn't it rather cold here? Grandma says there's a water imp living in the basin of the waterfall. Stop it! Don't start a story like that. Come on, let's eat our lunch. By the way, what will you do if you go to Hawaii? First of all, eat a pineapple. You've sure got a limited imagination. Maybe it's only natural, since you're the reincarnation of Suzukichi. You are his double, including being weak in the head. He was only joking. Tateo, what do you want to do? What else is there? He'll devote himself to flirting with Clark's daughter. Will you propose to her? Don't be stupid! Emily is one of our relatives. She's related by blood to Grandma. Marrying her is out of the question. You don't even know a thing like that? According to Mendel's laws, there's a high probability... for the offspring of a consanguineous marriage to be recessive. In terms of eugenics, absolutely. The eyes of the snake. The eyes that Suzukichi drew. See that? Those eyes are... Grandma is there, too. What are they doing? They are chanting Buddhist sutras. Now and then, old ladies get together and hold a religious service... for the souls of the departed. That's why there's no Buddhist altar at home. It's already August. The day of the atomic bomb is coming. August 9. Grandpa's death day. I see there are other people who have the same kind of idea as Grandma. There are quite a few old people like that around here. Suzukichi was one of them. Although the point where the atom bomb was dropped is quite far from here. Snake eyes? The eyes on Suzukichi's drawing... are not snake eyes. They are the eyes of the flash. That's right. Around here... on that day, when we heard the air raid siren... Suzukichi and me were looking... towards Nagasaki over that mountain. Both of us standing right here. Suddenly, the sky split in half and glared at us. A big eye... peeped through the crack. The big eye... glared fiercely... at both of us. We just looked at the sky like we were frozen. With a tremendously big sound... the ground started shaking. Suzukichi was terrified. He didn't move. Staring... with wide eyes at the sky. After that, he was possessed by the eye. He could see nothing else. And he kept drawing that picture. I can't forget that eye either. No other eyes are as frightful as that eye. The moon also glitters, but it's not frightening. Moonlight is nice. Yes, it was on a night just like tonight... a strange thing happened... Stop it! Don't tell us any scary stories anymore. I never told... you a scary story. When I was in the kitchen, I heard a feeble voice saying: "Hello, hello. " I heard a feeble voice. I looked... and saw a strange boy poking his head in. He said, "Your Suzukichi... " Suzukichi again? "Your Suzukichi was drowning in the pool... "so I pulled him out... "and carried him here. "I put him on the grass over there. " This was what the little boy said. He was a skinny little boy. And sure enough, he was soaking wet himself... with water still dripping from his hair. I was so shocked. I rushed out to see. I saw... Suzukichi lying there. Looking quite dazed. And what happened to the skinny little boy? When I looked around... he was gone. I wonder how a skinny little boy could have carried Suzukichi all the way back here? Because it was the water imp. Water imp? Later on, the village people and my father talked about that. But then they all came to the conclusion that it was the water imp. Those skinny, cucumber-like arms and legs. And his green face, like a leaf. It couldn't possibly have been anything else but the water imp. Grandma is pretty good at telling all those make-believe stories. Maybe it's our fault, listening to her so seriously. It's not make-believe, it's her dotage. After all, consider her age. What happened? The water imp was peeking in the window! Stop talking nonsense! Shinjiro! Why, you... Wait up! "Suzujiro confirmed the names of his brothers. "Please come to a definite decision to come to Hawaii. Tadao. " What'll you do, Grandma? I'll go. But the anniversary of Grandpa's death is coming pretty soon. I will go after I hold a memorial service for him. All right? What? Grandma decided to go? Yes. You didn't see the telegram telling you that? No, I'm afraid the telegram was sent while we were on the way back. I guess we didn't have to come back in such a hurry. Thought it was impossible for mere children to move Grandma. Grandma said she'd go right after holding a memorial service for Grandpa. Did you write that in the telegram? Yes, he did. August 9 is the day Grandpa died because of the atom bomb. She'll go after the memorial service on that day. That's not advisable. If Clark reads that telegram, it's going to be pretty awkward, isn't it? Why do you say that? Why? Because Clark is an American. And after he finds out that Grandpa was killed by the atom bomb... of course, it will make him feel pretty awkward. We've got trouble. Father, you mean that you went there... and didn't tell Suzujiro and Clark and his family about Grandpa? Of course not. It is something that is not necessary to mention. It's Father! Sam and Mother! Thanks... for all your trouble. I'll bet it was some trip for you, too. Machino told me that you were coming straight here. Since I haven't seen Grandma for some time, I decided to come and pay a visit. Me too. I've been having Grandma look after my kids all this time. So I must see her and thank her. By the way, how was it in Hawaii? I made a little inquiry and found out... that the pineapple farm is considerably large... and the canning factory that goes with it, too. And tell me, Suzujiro's house, I hear it's just like a castle. Is it? Mother... you have come here to see Grandma. Why don't you ask about her? Tonight's dinner was quite a spread, but it wasn't enjoyable, was it? Because the grownups' chatter wasn't enjoyable. Let's eat their souvenir. Tateo... don't you find it strange? Why do they hide everything about Grandpa? To put it nicely, they do that out of consideration for Suzujiro and Clark. And to put it not nicely, it's sort of a diplomatic tactic and calculation. To put it straight, they don't want to ruin the relationship... with that rich family that they've suddenly got. Hold on. You mean that Grandma is just being used as an excuse? That's terrible. That's the reality of being a grownup. Still, I hate it. Can you take it? Me? Count me out. I'm going to concentrate on this. At any rate, the pineapple farm is tremendously vast. It has eight thousand and some hundred acres. There are six huge chimneys soaring up from the canning factory. There is this huge swimming pool in the patio of the house. Clark's wife got a swimsuit out for me to use. But you see, I can't swim. And Clark took us on a tour of the factory, too. Did you know the factory's agency is in Tokyo? I know that. They've got agencies in every big city in the world. Tell me, what is Clark's wife like? A very nice person. So different from rich Japanese wives. She broke down all reserve in no time, and looked after us like her family. And why not? After all, you are a blood relative. I guess you're right. And about the agency of the canning factory. I got the impression that Clark wants me to work there. And of course, the post will be a good one, I imagine. I'm thinking about it. Since it is simply unbearable to stay a clerk forever, you know. That's true. Well, now, don't forget about me when the time comes, all right? Now let's have a drink. Thank you. What miserable men you are. What is eating inside your heads? You're just like beggars. I am only going because... this man Suzujiro is my big brother. And mind you, I am not going to see him because he is rich. Everybody, come over here! What is it? It's a beautiful moonlit night. Let's enjoy the cool evening outside! Grandpa used to love to watch the moon. He always said watching the moon washed his mind clean. He often stood in the garden and looked at the moon. Grandma is certainly a lady of firm character, isn't she? No, she's just old-fashioned. In short, she has an antiquated mind. But still, the way she talks is worthy of an educator. I'm sure Grandpa was, also. They were both schoolteachers. Both of them had strict morals. And now... we've upset Grandma. I feel pretty bad. You've got to do something about it. Stop worrying. She'll recover her mood pretty quick. Still, what if she starts to say she won't go to Hawaii again? You know how stubborn she is. I've got an idea. Why don't you, Tadao, and Yoshie stay here until the anniversary of Grandpa's death? Devote yourselves to Grandma's service... and send her to Hawaii in a good mood. I can't do that. I've got work to do at the office. Why not? You've still got some summer vacation left. And besides... if the circumstances require, there's a road open to the canning company, right? But I've got to get passports for Grandma and the children. Don't worry about that. I will take care of it myself. Keeping Grandma in a good mood is our first priority. If she starts to say that she won't go again, it'll be a serious problem. "I received your telegram. "Clark will come right away, Suzujiro. " I knew that telegram would mess things up. Americans do resent being reminded of the atom bomb. Japanese-Americans are especially sensitive about it. I think they feel embarrassed by the Americans. I wonder why Clark is coming here? Well, that's... He's probably coming... to wind up this matter once and for all. I see. To tell us to forget the whole thing. By the way, I guess I must be going, now. Then I think I'd better be going, too. Since my being here is useless. You don't mind, do you? I must say, what a letdown. Really, all that trouble for nothing. It's your fault, sending a telegram like that. That's enough! Don't you blame Tateo. I made him write that. But... I don't see what is wrong about writing the truth. Stupid! They did drop the atom bomb, and they resent being reminded of it? If they don't like it, they don't have to remember it. But I can't have them pretending ignorance. They claim they dropped the flash to stop war. It's already been 45 years now. But the flash hasn't stopped war. They're still killing people! But you know... war is to blame. People do anything... just to win a war. Sooner or later, it will be the ruin of all of us. Now, let's go to the arrival lobby. There's still time before he comes out. But... I feel sort of depressed. If he came here because of what my mother said... I don't want to meet Clark. Shall we run away? I feel really awkward about introducing Clark to Grandma. So do I. But it can't be helped. Don't you think what we are doing might not be the right thing to do to Clark? Who cares? He just came to finish off the relationship with Grandma. - Hello! - Hello! Thank you. Why didn't you tell us... about Uncle? I wish I had known. When we found out... about Uncle... we all cried. Looking at Nagasaki, it's hard to believe this is where the bomb was dropped. People do forget everything, and so quickly, too. But I will never forget! Say, let's go back there once more. You mean, that school? Yes. Let's go to Grandpa's place. Where is Nagasaki? We can't see it yet. It's on the other side of that mountain. I wonder what happened to the children? They didn't want to meet Clark. That's for sure. It's all our fault. Our... stupidity. But Clark... We didn't think that. Clark, is there any place that you would like to see in Nagasaki? Yes, there is. So, we'll go to the hotel, and then... I don't need a hotel. I'm going to stay at Aunty's place. Before that, there's a place I'd like to see. The place where Uncle died. What? You were all here? Clark came to apologize to Grandma. He found out about Grandpa by reading that telegram. But Father, you said... I'm sorry. It was because I was stupid. Hello. My son, Tateo, and my daughter, Minako. I'm Clark. How do you do? My son, Shinjiro. My daughter. They're adorable. I'm so happy to meet you. After August 9... let's all go... to Hawaii with Aunty. My uncle... Right here? And this is... the monument built for the children who died on that day. With these children... my uncle died. Just where did it happen? That's something we just can't find. You can't find? That day... the whole town was in flames. And this place was filled with people who came here to try and escape from it. But the school had also been burned. The people were burned. Iron, everything. These people are the classmates of the children who died here. These people... Somehow, they scare me. It's because... those are the people who witnessed the worst fear. Seeing these people... Nagasaki... That day... I can feel it. Okay. Even if it's okay for you, it's still too short for Clark. His feet will stick out. He's the same size as John Wayne. How about using this to add length? We did make fools of ourselves. Don't you think so? I guess you're right. I really feel ashamed. Where's Clark? He stepped out into the garden with Grandma. I wonder if it's all right. I wonder if they can communicate. I think it's all right. They seem to be talking just fine. I am terribly sorry for not knowing about Uncle. I'm really sorry. That's all right. You were born and live in Nagasaki. And still... we didn't realize it. That was wrong of us. We were wrong. That's all right. My father told me... "Clark, go... "and do whatever you can for your aunt. " That's what he said. That's all right. This is just fine. Thank you very much. No. Thank you very much. You've made me very happy. Very, very happy. Where's Clark? He's talking to Grandma, sitting on the bench. I saw them shake hands. I feel as though I saw something very nice. That's wonderful! And the boy a rose did see The tone, it's all fixed! Didn't I tell you that I'd absolutely fix it? How about that? Let's sing! And the boy a rose did see A rose standing in the field Blossoming in innocence Awed by the color it did yield A never-ending fascination For the crimson color Of the rose standing in the field Bravo! You sound like angels. This was amazing. Is this Uncle's room? This is your bed. Oh, my God. Okay? Okay. Not bad! I better try it, shouldn't I? Oh, yeah! This is a bed. This is a real bed. What's that up there? - Is there a picture of Uncle? - Yeah, here. And here. This is Grandpa. Very young. Forty-five years ago. This picture was taken the same year... he died. Those large letters... What do they mean? "Let us all meet again to join in the beyond. " A sea bream ascending a waterfall. That's not right. It's carp. A carp ascending a waterfall. Darn it! I made a mistake. Clark-san! What's this? Clark's father... Suzujiro-san passed away. It's Clark-san. Clark-san is gone. He took a different plane. We're home. Clark sincerely regretted it. Saying that it's almost unbearable having to leave like that. Big Brother... I'm sorry. I wish I'd come to see you sooner. Big Brother! Did you come to see me? You'd better hurry or you'll miss your plane. No. I've decided not to go. But what about your work? Shinjiro, you go and see how Grandma is doing. Is something the matter with Grandma? There's something strange! Grandma is sleeping. Snoring up a storm! How is she? She ate some rice porridge, but she's asleep again. Shall we go to bed, too? It looks like we're going to have some rain. Shall we close the sliding doors? Grandma! The bomb! What's the matter, Grandma? Grandma! What's going on? It's the bomb! You two, quick! Put this over you. This is best for the bomb! There're many who survived because they were wearing something white! The sooner, the better. Let's take her to the hospital right away! She's sound asleep now. Maybe we should leave her as she is a little longer. Brother. Grandma isn't there! These... They're Grandpa's clothes. But why spread them out like this? The clock in Grandma's head is running in reverse. So now, she is slipping back to the time of Grandpa. Hello! Yes? Just a little while ago, your Grandma came to my place. Then... she saw the clouds and took off in a hurry. She was headed for Nagasaki. Today's clouds... look exactly like they did on that day. Maybe she remembered what happened on that day. No, I mean, she thinks she's reliving that day. Grandma! Grandma! And the boy a rose did see A rose standing in the field Blossoming in innocence Awed by the color it did yield A never-ending fascination For the crimson color Of the rose standing in the field Ripped by: SkyFury SHOCHIKU presents A film by AKIRA KUROSAWA RHAPSODY IN AUGUST A Kurosawa Production Presented by Feature film Enterprise 2 Executive Producer: Toru Okuyama Producer: Hisao Kurosawa From the novel by Kiyoko Murata Associate Director: Ishiro Honda Associate Producers: Mike Y. Inoue, Seikichi Iizumi Photography: Takao Saito, Masaharu Ueda Art Direction: Yoshiro Muraki Lighting: Takeji Sano Recording: Kenichi Benitani Costumes: Kazuko Kurosawa Music: from Schubert and VivaIdi and by Shinichiro Ikebi With Sachiko Murase Hidetaka Yoshioka - Tomoko Ontakara Mie Suzuki - Mitsunori Isaki Hisashi Igawa - Toshie Negeshi Choichiro Kawarasaki - Namuri Kayashima and Richard Gere Written and Directed by Akira Kurosawa It was kind of a funny summer. During vacation, nothing but strange things seemed to happen. And the boy a rose did see Give it up! That organ! It gets worse as you try to fix it. I will absolutely fix it. I got into college. finally managed to get out of the examination hell. Made up my mind. absolutely no studying during this summer vacation. I've got plenty of time to fix this organ, absolutely.... Here we go again with Tateo's "absolutely." You said it three times already. A letter from Hawaii. Pictures are enclosed. Let's see. "I hasten to inform you that we were met... "by the family of Suzujiro's son at honolulu Airport." Dad has a lei. "We knew that Suzujiro's deceased wife was an American... "but were somewhat surprised to find... "that all the family members were 100 percent Americans." Terrific! This is a cadillac limousine! His son clark and wife, natalie... and their children michael and emily. This michael and emily look like they are just about our age. And emily, she's a very beautiful girl. -Tateo, are you falling for her? -Stupid! "But all of them speak broken Japanese, which set our minds at ease." I understand how they felt. Father is rather poor with english. "After a comfortable drive of about 20 minutes... "we arrived at Suzujiro's residence. "immediately we met Suzujiro, who was sick in bed." Is he Grandma's elder brother? "Suzujiro looked better than we had anticipated. "He was so pleased that he held our hands tightly... "and did not want to let go for quite some time. "But he was very disappointed that Grandma did not come. "He repeatedly asked us what was wrong with her... "and we didn't know how to answer him. "Since Grandma had said no... "we came to see Suzujiro on her behalf... "which was the wrong thing to do. "We are her blood relatives... "but after all, we are actually strangers as far as Suzujiro is concerned. "The person he really wanted to see was the Ione survivor... "his sister, Grandma. "We can't do her job. "Suzujiro, who had kept his eyes closed for a while... "opened them, and said: "'Grandma might as well come to see him... "'with her grandchildren during summer vacation.' "He said, 'We would feel easier that way.' "It's a good idea, please do what he said." -Going to.... -To Hawaii. "I also think it's a good idea. "Grandma, please think it over again. "A trip to Hawaii is not too different... "from a trip between Nagasaki and Tokyo, where our home is." That's right! "I also beg your favor. "please come to Hawaii with your four grandchildren... "and meet Suzujiro. "With hasty regards, Tadao." Grandma, it's a very good idea! You should go, absolutely. -Everybody to Hawaii! -wonderful! -It will be a great holiday! -Grandma, Iet's go! Let's go, please! Wait! My mother also wrote... "Dear Grandma, Suzujiro told us to stay at his home. "No sense staying at a hotel. "We decided to take advantage of his hospitality. "It is such a big, magnificent residence. "We are just loafing around. "The garden is beautiful, and nothing is better than the ocean-side view. "Grandma, please do come! Yoshie." Look! It's a gorgeous home! It looks just like a hotel! Here's another letter. It's from clark, Suzujiro's son. It's written in katakana. Here, can you see it? "Dear Aunt... "I am the son... "of your eldest brother... "Suzujiro Haruno. "Ever since my father... "came from Japan... "to Hawaii in 1920... "he lived with the pineapples... "and he will soon die as an American... "leaving me this vast farm. "He tells me that he wishes to see you... "his younger sister, before he dies. "please come and see my father. "sincerely yours, clark." It's touching! It sure is. Say, Grandma, Iet's go to Hawaii. You heard what the letter said. It wouldn't be nice for you not to go. But still, this is all so strange. It could be some kind of mistake. Cut it out now! Sure, if Grandma was a millionaire... it's possible it could be a swindler claiming to be your brother. But I bet there is no one fool enough... to bother lying about being a brother of poor Grandma. In the first place, these people are rich! Suzujiro Haruno. surely, my maiden name is Haruno... but I can't remember the name Suzujiro. After all, I was born in a poor family that was blessed only with children. I had more than ten brothers and sisters. More than ten? Besides that, this man is an American, isn't he? -How could he be my big brother? -It was written in the letter. He went to Hawaii as an immigrant and became naturalized. although he has American citizenship... Grandma's brother is still Grandma's brother. This guy Suzujiro must be Grandma's elder brother. Right. Otherwise, what would be the reason for him trying to find you? I know... what you mean, but.... Guess it's about the right time to eat some kidney beans. real stubborn. That's for sure. "Who needs them!" There's no television. And that refrigerator, guess how much I had to beg her to buy it? She still won't go for a washing machine. "Washing can be done without a thing like that," she says. A stone head, with a reed screen over it. It's delicious, really delicious! Eating with all of you makes the food extra tasty. Grandma. Let my sister cook the meals starting tomorrow. I'm sure it will be good for everybody. And it will be much easier on you, too, Grandma. Don't worry about me. To put it simply... Grandma's cooking is driving us to despair. In other words, your cooking just doesn't agree with our tastes. I mean, as a matter of fact, it's just plain lousy. I'm sorry, Grandma, but... this pumpkin and kidney beans, and pumpkin and chicken... it's so boiled down with soy sauce that we can't even tell which piece is which. -It is so black, and pulpy, and saIty-- -Tateo! I think Grandma's cooking is lousy because of her false teeth. As long as everything is soft, it's all right with her. -But we don't have false teeth. -Shinjiro! Shinjiro, you sure are great! You did real well. That's true. Because of you... I can sit at the table starting tomorrow with a sense of relief. You mean eating is your only concern? But you can't get away that easy. Tomorrow, we go shopping in Nagasaki. -And you're coming, too, Shinjiro. -Count me out. I have the big project to convince Grandma to take us all to Hawaii with her. Yeah! That's the grand theme for this summer vacation! We shall all go to Hawaii! absolutely! Let's all hold out! Fate is knocking at the door. Under this beautiful town of Nagasaki... there is another Nagasaki that vanished with one atomic bomb. Didn't Grandpa die in the Nagasaki atom bombing? -Yes. -How come Grandma was safe? She was at the house, behind the mountain, 10 kilometers away from the blast center. But she told me that her hair was a result of the atom bomb. That's because Grandma came to Nagasaki on that day, looking for Grandpa. The school where Grandpa was teaching was close to the blast center. And did she find Grandpa? The school building was crushed flat and burned, and full of charred bodies. It was impossible to identify which one of them was Grandpa. Do you want to go to the school? You know, Grandma was also a teacher at this school. She quit when she married Grandpa. She sure was lucky, wasn't she? I don't know about that. When Grandpa died, our father was still a baby... and Grandma was carrying Minako's mother in her belly. Being left alone... I bet it must have been very hard on Grandma. still... even though no one ever found Grandpa... he's here, I'm sure. That day, we went around the town of Nagasaki... because we wanted to know a Iot more about the atomic bomb. Even though the atomic bomb was dropped, this survived? No, it was rebuilt. But there are some things left just as they were at that time. The angels all look as if they are crying. The atomic bomb blasted right above here. portugal. These are monuments... sent from different countries of the world. CzechosIovakia. italy. poland. bulgaria. The Soviet Union. China. brazil. Cuba. holland. I can't find the one from America. What do you expect? America is the one that dropped the atomic bomb. "I was so very thirsty. "Water, water." AII died uttering that word. But nowadays, for most of the people... the atomic bomb is something that happened once upon a time. people are apt to forget... even a dreadful event like that... as the years pass by. Can we leave it like that? I really pity Grandpa and Grandma. Want some ice cream? Grandma. Grandma. You're late! What have you been doing? It's all right, now, all right. What's the matter now? I think Grandma would Iike it not too spicy. May I start eating? I'm really embarrassed. Grandma puts her hands together to worship what I cooked. -And it was really delicious. -That's true! We're all counting on you from now on. Look at this. What is this? To convince her to agree to go to Hawaii, I talked about Suzujiro today. Then Grandma started to remember the names of her brothers. "Tetsutaro. "Dozaburo. "Jushiro. "Shogoro. "Kuginosuke. "Natakichi. "Kuwata. "Suzukichi. "Nabe. "Kane. Kyoko." These names have the Chinese symbol for metal. Grandma's father, our great-grandfather, seems to have been a real weirdo. "Kane." So this is our Grandma, right? -eleven! -eleven? And she says there must have been two or three more, but she can't remember them. And Suzujiro is among the ones she can't remember? But you know, Tetsutaro, Dozaburo, there, is number two. I think the brother between those two is Suzujiro. I'm pretty sure of it. First, the Chinese character for Suzu has the symbol for metal. Even if she could remember, Grandma won't go to Hawaii. I'm sure of it. Why's that? Grandma doesn't like America, and it's only natural. After all, Grandpa was killed by the atomic bomb. I think he's right. You see, none of us and none of our parents know about war. As for the atomic bomb.... Sure, we've all heard about it. But it meant nothing more than a sort of little scary fairy tale. We never really understood the feelings of the people... who had the atom bomb dropped over their heads. We never stopped to think. Look at my mother. Just by being told that there's a rich relative in Hawaii, she got excited. Isn't it disgusting? My father's no different. He didn't even spend time with Grandma. He took off for Hawaii in a hurry. Big Sis! Here, eat these. I'm really pleased... that you are so concerned about me. I'm very grateful. But then, it was a Iong time ago when I felt bitter about America. It's been more than 45 years since Grandpa died. Now, I don't particularly like... or dislike America. It's all because of war. War is to blame. During the war many Japanese died... and many Americans also died. Listen... because of a man called Suzujiro or whatever... I don't think it's right for you to talk badly about your parents. I was the one who sort of drove them to go off to Hawaii... for my own joy of having the four of you here, all to myself, while they're gone. Anyway, I want all of you to stay here during summer vacation. The rich man in Hawaii means nothing to me. I'm just grateful to be able to live with you Iike this... because of him. Now, go on, eat. Grandma's watermelon is real tasty. Thank you! Grandpa used to play this so often.... I know I got old... and so did this organ. I'II fix it. I sure will. absolutely. You're saying "absolutely" again. There were so many of them. But they all died. AII of them died because of the atomic bomb? No. Some of them died because of that, but there were some who died young... and some who died in places far away. This one, Natakichi... he was my seventh or eighth brother, I think. He left home and became a shoemaker in Nagasaki. After five years of apprenticeship... just as he was ready to open his own shop... he made a gross mistake. What did he do? Big Bro' Natakichi... eIoped with the shoemaker's wife. Hey, why don't you go to bed? I'm not sleepy. Then what happened to Natakichi? My father was furious... and refused to let him come back home. So Natakichi was obliged to build a small hut... far up in the mountain behind here... and make a scanty living by making shoes there. They lived in a place... where two charred cedar trees... that had been struck by lightning... stood along the path they used in their escape. But why live in a place like that? while they were running away... the woman who was holding Natakichi's hand... saw those two trees... and said they looked like... they had committed a double suicide. And that's why they built a hut at that place. -A real weird story. -It makes me feel eerie. I'm going to bed. Me, too. I'm totally bushed today. Good night. -Tomorrow, Iet's all go there and see. -Go where? See what? Those two trees that committed double suicide by being struck by lightning. Don't be stupid! That happened a Iong time ago. Those trees can't still be there. I can't see them. Grandma told me they were still here, though. Burnt trees keep standing forever because they won't rot. There they are! That's it! Let's go and see. Why don't we just look from where we are? I don't know why, but I'm a little scared. "Those two cedar trees look as if they have committed double suicide." "We are two eIopers. "Why not live next to them?" What are you doing? Sorry! I just got carried away because of the mood. Stupid! I'm going back! Wait a minute! Hey, wait a minute! What's wrong? Something's weird. An old lady from somewhere came to visit Grandma. So what? What's so weird about that? But you see, they just sit face to face. That's it. They don't say a word, for all this time. And it's been one hour already. Grandma, see if this letter is all right to send to Hawaii. "hello there. Grandma is now inclined to go to Hawaii." This is just in diplomatic language. After all, we have to consider their feelings, too. "But before that, she says she wants to make sure about Suzujiro. "Even with the picture you sent, she doesn't remember... "due to his age, and his looks after being ill. "If you have a picture taken when Suzujiro was young... "please send it as soon as possible. "And ask Suzujiro to try and recall the names of his brothers. "If he recalls the names of Tetsutaro, Dozaburo and Jushiro... "those names would match Grandma's memory. "And it wouId mean that Suzujiro is definitely the elder brother of Grandma. "In haste, respectfully...." That's a great idea. Tateo, you are something! This is all right, isn't it? -Thank you for all your trouble. -Then I'II send it right away tomorrow. But it's possible that letter will cross father on the way. He's got a job, and it's about time for him to be coming back. No, he won't be coming back. There's the pineapple farm, even if he gets fired. That old lady who came to visit you today, what did she come here for? She came to chat with me. But you didn't talk at all. Both of you just sat there saying nothing. And then that old lady bowed to you and left without saying a word. There are things we don't need words to understand. Her husband also died... in Nagasaki, just like Grandpa. That's why she comes here now and then... sits down for a while without saying a word, and leaves without saying a word. There are people who are silent... while they are talking. This one, Suzukichi... the youngest brother. He was a little weak in the head. Ever since he lost all of his hair from the atomic bomb... he shut himself up in a room and stayed there. But on hot summer days... it must have been insufferable for him. He used to slip out when the moon came up, and sneak away for a swim... in the basin of a waterfall deep in the mountains. That's right, yes. That waterfall is a nice one. You should go there sometime. And then, that boy, what was he doing every day in the room? -He just kept on drawing pictures. -What kind of pictures? For some strange reason, only pictures of eyes. -Eyes? -Eyes like this. As long as there was paper... he just drew eyes, never getting tired of it. He's spooky! I bet those were eyes seen through an obsession. He loathed the idea of being seen with his hairless head. And he must have been obsessed by the eyes of people. It must be those eyes. This kind of drawing? That's it! That's exactly it. Those are exactly the same pictures. Come to think of it... you sure do look like Suzukichi. You are like two peas in a pod. That's really something! -Let's sleep with this door open tonight. -Why? I don't know why, but I'm scared. When I shut my eyes, the picture of those eyes gIares at me. Cut it out! Now you're going to make me have a nightmare! Coward! Grandma's story, I wonder if it's true? I can't believe that Suzukichi, who was a little weak in the head... came here to swim at night. That just proves he was weak in the head. Isn't it rather cold here? Grandma says there's a water imp living in the basin of the waterfall. Stop it! Don't start a story like that. Come on, Iet's eat our lunch. By the way, what will you do if you go to Hawaii? First of all, eat a pineapple. You've sure got a limited imagination. Maybe it's only natural, since you're the reincarnation of Suzukichi. You are his double, including being weak in the head. He was only joking. Tateo, what do you want to do? What else is there? He'II devote himself to flirting with clark's daughter. will you propose to her? Don't be stupid! emily is one of our relatives. She's related by blood to Grandma. Marrying her is out of the question. You don't even know a thing like that? According to MendeI's laws, there's a high probability... for the offspring of a consanguineous marriage to be recessive. In terms of eugenics, absolutely. The eyes of the snake. The eyes that Suzukichi drew. See that? Those eyes are.... Grandma is there, too. What are they doing? They are chanting Buddhist sutras. Now and then, old ladies get together and hold a religious service... for the souls of the departed. That's why there's no Buddhist altar at home. It's already August. The day of the atomic bomb is coming. August 9. Grandpa's death day. I see there are other people who have the same kind of idea as Grandma. There are quite a few old people like that around here. Suzukichi was one of them. although the point where the atom bomb was dropped is quite far from here. Snake eyes? The eyes on Suzukichi's drawing... are not snake eyes. They are the eyes of the flash. That's right. Around here... on that day, when we heard the air raid siren... Suzukichi and me were looking... towards Nagasaki over that mountain. Both of us standing right here. suddenly, the sky split in half and glared at us. A big eye... peeped through the crack. The big eye... glared fiercely... at both of us. We just looked at the sky like we were frozen. With a tremendously big sound... the ground started shaking. Suzukichi was terrified. He didn't move. Staring... with wide eyes at the sky. After that, he was possessed by the eye. He could see nothing else. And he kept drawing that picture. I can't forget that eye either. No other eyes are as frightful as that eye. The moon also gIitters, but it's not frightening. moonlight is nice. Yes, it was on a night just like tonight... a strange thing happened-- Stop it! Don't tell us any scary stories anymore. I never told... you a scary story. When I was in the kitchen, I heard a feeble voice saying: "hello, hello." I heard a feeble voice. I Iooked... and saw a strange boy poking his head in. He said, "Your Suzukichi--" Suzukichi again? "Your Suzukichi was drowning in the pool... "so I pulled him out... "and carried him here. "I put him on the grass over there." This was what the little boy said. He was a skinny little boy. And sure enough, he was soaking wet himself... with water still dripping from his hair. I was so shocked. I rushed out to see. I saw... Suzukichi lying there. Looking quite dazed. And what happened to the skinny little boy? When I Iooked around... he was gone. I wonder how a skinny little boy could have carried Suzukichi all the way back here? Because it was the water imp. Water imp? Later on, the village people and my father talked about that. But then they all came to the conclusion that it was the water imp. Those skinny, cucumber-Iike arms and legs. And his green face, Iike a leaf. It couldn't possibly have been anything else but the water imp. Grandma is pretty good at telling all those make-beIieve stories. Maybe it's our fault, listening to her so seriously. It's not make-beIieve, it's her dotage. After all, consider her age. What happened? The water imp was peeking in the window! Stop talking nonsense! Shinjiro! Why, you.... Wait up! "Suzujiro confirmed the names of his brothers. "please come to a definite decision to come to Hawaii. Tadao." What'II you do, Grandma? I'II go. But the anniversary of Grandpa's death is coming pretty soon. I will go after I hold a memorial service for him. AII right? What? Grandma decided to go? Yes. You didn't see the telegram telling you that? No, I'm afraid the telegram was sent while we were on the way back. I guess we didn't have to come back in such a hurry. Thought it was impossible for mere children to move Grandma. Grandma said she'd go right after holding a memorial service for Grandpa. Did you write that in the telegram? Yes, he did. August 9 is the day Grandpa died because of the atom bomb. She'II go after the memorial service on that day. That's not advisable. If clark reads that telegram, it's going to be pretty awkward, isn't it? Why do you say that? Why? Because clark is an American. And after he finds out that Grandpa was killed by the atom bomb... of course, it will make him feel pretty awkward. We've got trouble. Father, you mean that you went there... and didn't tell Suzujiro and clark and his family about Grandpa? Of course not. It is something that is not necessary to mention. It's Father! Sam and Mother! Thanks... for all your trouble. I'II bet it was some trip for you, too. Machino told me that you were coming straight here. Since I haven't seen Grandma for some time, I decided to come and pay a visit. Me too. I've been having Grandma look after my kids all this time. So I must see her and thank her. By the way, how was it in Hawaii? I made a little inquiry and found out... that the pineapple farm is considerably large... and the canning factory that goes with it, too. And tell me, Suzujiro's house, I hear it's just like a castle. Is it? Mother... you have come here to see Grandma. Why don't you ask about her? Tonight's dinner was quite a spread, but it wasn't enjoyable, was it? Because the grownups' chatter wasn't enjoyable. Let's eat their souvenir. Tateo... don't you find it strange? Why do they hide everything about Grandpa? To put it nicely, they do that out of consideration for Suzujiro and clark. And to put it not nicely, it's sort of a diplomatic tactic and calculation. To put it straight, they don't want to ruin the relationship... with that rich family that they've suddenly got. hold on. You mean that Grandma is just being used as an excuse? That's terrible. That's the reality of being a grownup. still, I hate it. Can you take it? Me? Count me out. I'm going to concentrate on this. At any rate, the pineapple farm is tremendously vast. It has eight thousand and some hundred acres. There are six huge chimneys soaring up from the canning factory. There is this huge swimming pool in the patio of the house. clark's wife got a swimsuit out for me to use. But you see, I can't swim. And clark took us on a tour of the factory, too. Did you know the factory's agency is in Tokyo? I know that. They've got agencies in every big city in the world. tell me, what is clark's wife like? A very nice person. So different from rich Japanese wives. She broke down all reserve in no time, and looked after us like her family. And why not? After all, you are a blood relative. I guess you're right. And about the agency of the canning factory. I got the impression that clark wants me to work there. And of course, the post will be a good one, I imagine. I'm thinking about it. Since it is simply unbearable to stay a clerk forever, you know. That's true. well, now, don't forget about me when the time comes, all right? Now let's have a drink. Thank you. What miserable men you are. What is eating inside your heads? You're just like beggars. I am only going because... this man Suzujiro is my big brother. And mind you, I am not going to see him because he is rich. Everybody, come over here! What is it? It's a beautiful moonlit night. Let's enjoy the cool evening outside! Grandpa used to love to watch the moon. He always said watching the moon washed his mind clean. He often stood in the garden and looked at the moon. Grandma is certainly a lady of firm character, isn't she? No, she's just oId-fashioned. In short, she has an antiquated mind. But still, the way she talks is worthy of an educator. I'm sure Grandpa was, also. They were both schoolteachers. Both of them had strict morals. And now... we've upset Grandma. I feel pretty bad. You've got to do something about it. Stop worrying. She'II recover her mood pretty quick. still, what if she starts to say she won't go to Hawaii again? You know how stubborn she is. I've got an idea. Why don't you, Tadao, and Yoshie stay here until the anniversary of Grandpa's death? Devote yourselves to Grandma's service... and send her to Hawaii in a good mood. I can't do that. I've got work to do at the office. Why not? You've still got some summer vacation left. And besides... if the circumstances require, there's a road open to the canning company, right? But I've got to get passports for Grandma and the children. Don't worry about that. I will take care of it myself. Keeping Grandma in a good mood is our first priority. No, but I telephoned him last night. Most extraordinary. Are you quite certain that you haven't a gentleman named Edward McDermott stopping here? - Absolutely. - Then how could I have spoken to him? - It's beyond me, miss. - I'm certain there's nothing to worry about. Go up to your room and make yourself comfortable. And meanwhile, I'll scout around and see if I can find your Mr. McDermott. - You must think this very stupid of me. - Not at all, not at all. Your friend must surely be around here somewhere. I'll try and find him, and then give you a ring in your room. - Thank you so much. - It's all right. - Where's Manville? - In his office. Well, what have you got to say for yourselves? - We didn't get the plans. - Yes, go on. We trailed the girl, but she ran into a house occupied by a Bertie Wooster. We waited all night but didn't see her come out. This morning Wooster appeared with his man, got into their car and we followed them. - Go on, go on. - We stopped them on the road... posed as Scotland Yard men and searched them but they didn't have the plans. They're coming here and that's why we hurried ahead to warn you. Yes, Mr. Manville? If Mr. Bertie Wooster arrives, let me know immediately. So you followed the two men, forgot all about the girl, eh? No, we left Burton there to watch the house. He's going to have a long wait because I happen to have the lady in this hotel. - What? - I met her when she arrived and arranged to have lunch with her. She thinks I'm going to help her find Mr. McDermott. Now listen. This is what I want you two to do. And let there be no slipup this time. Go to her room and make a thorough search of everything. - We will. - Just a moment. And keep an eye on that Wooster fellow. That's all. - All right. - I'll see you later. That's not bad, Jeeves. We did the last mile in exactly one minute and 12 seconds. Begging your pardon, sir. I think that's inaccurate. One minute and 11 seconds. Oh. Oh, this is a wonder spot, Jeeves. I bet this reeks with romance. - I hope not, sir. - Yes. Anyway, it's a nice place for rest and quiet. I consider it the most peaceful spot in the whole of England, sir. Good egg, Jeeves, good egg. I— I wonder what's happened to our passenger. That Ethiopian fellow seems to have evaporated. You'll probably find him down the road, sir, draped on a bush. Do something about it because it worries me exceedingly. I'll go and have lunch. Yes, sir. Hello! Hello! Yes, sir, Massa Gabriel, I's coming. - Us plays the horn too. - Well, come on. Come, come. We're there. - Where? - Here! - Ain't I in pieces? - You're as right as right can be. Will y'all give me your word I ain't dead? Come on, come on. Get out of the car and buzz off. Is us in Leeds? Leeds is many miles from here. - How we gonna get there? - Walk. Feet, did y'all hear what that man said? - When my man appears, send him up with my luggage, will you? - Very good, sir. Show Mr. Wooster to his room. This way, sir. Mr. Wooster just arrived. I've given him room nine. Good. Keep me informed of everything he does. I'm Mr. Wooster's man. What room shall I take his things to? - Mr. Wooster is in room nine. - Thank you. - What's the matter, old man? Don't you feel well? - I'm very well, thank you. - Have you got wasps in this hotel? - Wasps? Of course not. - I feel certain I've been stung. - Possibly your imagination. Possibly, but not probably. - I'll carry that for you for two bits. - Two bits of what? That's a quarter— 25 cents American money. No, thank you. I don't need your aid. What an extraordinary language. Two bits! Well, Jeeves, you were right again. Right again, Jeeves! - This is a beautiful spot. - It was, sir. - What do you mean, "It was"? - I regret to report that that woman is here. - Woman? What woman? - Our visitor of last night. Oh, that one. Well, that is a coincidence. An extraordinary coincidence, sir. May I suggest for your own good... that we motor on till we come to another hotel? Definitely not, Jeeves. I refused to have my rest interfered by a mere female. Frankly, I'm afraid, sir, that we may get involved in another embarrassing situation. This is different. Remember what those Scotland Yard men told us about this girl? It is our duty to remain here and watch her... in case the occasion arises to aid our country. Yes, sir. I find your patriotism most admirable, sir. Then you haven't been able to find Mr. McDermott? No, not yet. I'm sorry. - I hope nothing's happened to him. - No, I don't think so. If you tell me where you found him and about what time... it might help to clear things up. It was quite late. I was staying with my aunt in London. Oh, I— I see. I'm beginning to think we should notify the police. No, no, no. That won't be at all necessary. Suppose we take a little drive this afternoon and make further inquiries. - I guess we'll learn something. - Hello, hello! How are you today? Why did you run away? - Sorry. I don't think we've met. - Nonsense. Of course. - You spent last night with me. - This lady says she doesn't know you. Yes, she does. You mustn't forget old friends so soon. Most unflattering. I haven't the slightest idea who you are. You can't have forgotten Brighton and my brother. - Never been to Brighton. - Well, makes us even. I haven't a brother. You're evidently making a mistake. This lady spent last night with her aunt. Don't you think you ought to apologize and leave us? Well, if that's the way you see it, I'll toddle off and give it thought. I say, what's that dreadful thing you're playing? - They call it "The March of the Hussars. " - Nothing like it. It so happens, my bovine friend, that "The March of the Hussars" is my favorite piece of music. I know every note of it, and you haven't played one of them. Well, how does it go then? Those are the drums. Play it. Those are the trumpets. Play it. - Will you have a cigarette? - No, thank you. - Will that be all, sir? - Yes, that's all. Thank you. You do that again and I'll take you across my knee. Well, are you ready? Thanks. Well, thanks very much for lunching with me. - I'll call for you in about an hour. - Thank you too. - I'll see you later. Good-bye. - Good-bye. - Oh, just a moment! - What do you want? I'm in a hurry. I wouldn't annoy Miss Lowman again if I were you. What right have you to interfere? Are you a relative? - No. - Then I have just as much right... to speak to her as you have, old boy. Nevertheless, I'm warning you. If you interfere with her, you'll get into trouble. Oh, I see then. You're one of these government fellows. Clever aren't you? Well, just keep away from her. We Woosters never get enmeshed in the official dragnet. - No? - Oh, no. Now, then, play the whole thing through and play it properly. Yes, sir. Left.! Left.! Left, right, left.! No, no, no! That's where we go... down! - Oh, it's you again. - Yes, I thought it only courteous... to return your visit of last night. - May I come in? Thank you very much. - What do you want? I just want to talk. If you'll overlook this informal visit... I'll forgive you for slighting me in the dining room. - Spicy little spot you have here. - I wish you wouldn't follow me. I'm not following you. As much as I'd like to, I'm not following you. I'm here to do you a good turn— and at the risk of my life too. Oh! Very inefficient. I think you'd better go. I've had just about enough of this nonsense. Have you got a license for that machine? You could be put in jail. I was quite aware of that, but don't come any closer. I can't help it. You're so irresistible. - Please don't come near me. - Would you point that thing away? There you are. You go backwards, you fall on your back. - Give me that gun. - I get these bullet things out, I'll be comfortable. Now you can point it at me all day if you like. - Just why did you come here? - Well, I-I— Marjorie— You don't mind me calling "Marjorie," do you? Of course you don't. Marjorie, why don't you give up this life of yours? You're far too young and beautiful to spend it in jail. - What do you take to get these delusions? - You're wrong. - I'm doing this for your own good. Now let's sit down. - Leave my coat alone. - I'll hang it up for you. - Please, give it to me. Give it to me. - I won't drop it. - Now, please go. Dash it! I can't go until I do the thing I came here to do. Why don't you give up this life you're leading. It's not going to get you anywhere. Oh? That's most flattering. But just what do you think I am? You can stop all this bluff because I happen to know you've borrowed some plans... that belong to the government, and I think it only sporting to tell you... that a large number of detectives are following you around. - Now I know there's something wrong with you. - Don't go on pretending. Two Scotland Yard men followed you to my house yesterday. - Really? - That's why they stopped and searched me on the road. - They told me all about you. - That must have been most interesting. Most instructive. I saw the same two in your room when you were having lunch. - You did? Why didn't you stop them? - I thought it over. One can't monkey about with Scotland Yard men. I tried to tell you while you were having lunch but you fortunately stopped me. Why was that fortunate? Because the man you were having lunch with was another government chap. He threatened to shoot me if I so much as look at you. Thank you for telling me this. And, now, if you'll excuse me, I won't keep you any longer. I'm in no hurry. I haven't come to the most important thing yet. Don't tell me there are more detectives on my trail. There probably are, hundreds. Black with them, for all I know. I must give you one word of advice. Will you give back those plans? Get whatever it is you've stolen... and we'll trickle down together and just see those detectives. - You're out of your mind. - I'm not. I just love you, that's all. In fact, if you'll reform, I'll willingly consider marrying you. - I suppose I should feel flattered. - You certainly should. I don't propose to every girl I meet. Now put on your coat. - Please leave my coat alone. - Why? - Because I say so. - Anything you say, my dear. I don't understand why you want to go on leading this unhappy life. I was perfectly happy until you came. You're pretending again. I know very well you're fond of me. You're just fighting to cover it up. It must be wonderful to be gifted with so much insight. Well, it's very nice, but will you promise to send back those plans? They'll be in government hands by tomorrow morning. There. I knew you were a woman of intelligence the moment I set eyes on you. Sort of a like recognizing like. Thank you. Now, please excuse me. I really have some things to attend to. - Can't I stay here and help— - No, no. Thank you. Really. - Will you have dinner with me tonight? - Yes, of course I will. But, now, please, excuse me and— - Thank you. - You really are a bit of a darling. - That's nice of you to say so. - I'm not bad myself. As a matter of fact, I'm considered pretty crisp, in a manly sort of way. - You'll probably find that out when we get better acquainted. - No doubt. Good-bye. Well, good-bye, my puppet. - Come on. Keep moving. - Fancy meeting you here. Why don't you come in, sit down, put your feet up? - Hand over those plans. - I've told you, I haven't got any plans. - Talking won't get us anywhere. - How are you? - Let's search him. - You've searched. Don't you remember? I was down the road, my valet with me and some colored gentleman. Yes, we remember. I suppose the girl didn't give you those plans just now? That's right. She didn't. How did you guess? - Oh! We're wasting time. - If you insist, I'm only too glad to help. - Never mind. We'll take care of it. - No offense, old boy. Well, what did you intend to do with these cartridges? Cartridges? Yes, they are cartridges, aren't they? I'm rather fond of shooting— Grouse shooting, to be precise. - That's why I came down here. - With a revolver? What do you expect me to bring, a fishing rod? I suppose you know that grouse shooting starts in August. For your information, this happens to be the 17 th of May. The old calendar does whip around, doesn't it? I just wanted to get a little practice before the grouse shooting started. Don't you practice before grouse shooting? Very tricky birds. I feel you won't need these, so I'll take care of them. - That is, if you don't mind. - Not at all. I'm delighted... that you government fellows would take them for me. What a nice hat that is. Now, if you two gentlemen wouldjust be patient... I'm quite sure everything will be straightened out by tomorrow. - What do you mean? - I can't take you into my confidence. You'll just have to trust your old friend Wooster. You see, I have decided to take over Miss Lowman's interest permanently. - Do you mind telling us what you're talking about? - Not at all. It's a pleasure. I have persuaded Miss Lowman that a life of dishonesty never did pay. I never could bear a thief at any price. However, she's an exception. - We know that. - Is he pulling our leg? - He's up to something. - I am, but it's a secret. However, you may tell your superiors— I take it you have superiors— Tell them they need worry no more. That which they are seeking will be placed... in their hands tomorrow and you may add that Bertram Wooster will see to it. - Do you know what he's driving at? - Sounds balmy to me. Well, let's go. No need to wait here any longer. He hasn't got the plans. - We'll see you later on. - Splendid.! Splendid, old boy.! I look forward to it. Might have a spot of lunch at the club one day. And don't forget to give that message to your superiors. I know they'll be relieved to hear that. Good morning. I tell you the girl must have them on her. They weren't in her room and she didn't give them to Wooster. Why not let us go up and get her? There's no use in being diplomatic. From now on, you two keep away from her. - I'll handle this in my own way. - If that's the way you want it. - Remember, this girl is clever. - That's why I propose to take care of her myself. I'm going to meet her in the lobby and then take her to the private garage. - What about that Wooster? - You don't need worry about him. We'll take care of Mr. Wooster after we've got the girl. And, remember, we can't afford to fumble this time. I've wired the chief in Paris that I'll be with him tomorrow. Here, you'd better put these in the safe until we get the other half. I'll take that, Mr. Manville. And now, what have you done with McDermott? - If you'll give me those plans, I'll tell you. - Don't move. Don't panic. She can't hurt you with that. It isn't loaded. - What? - I took the precaution of removing the pellets. Which I thought was clever. I'm more than a little offended... - at you not keeping your promise. - You fool! I say, handle her with care. She's most precious. - Sit down, Wooster. - Thank you. I am dripping with fatigue. - Won't you sit down? - You may as well, Miss Lowman. You may be here for quite a while yet. You park on the plush and I'll come and look after you. - There you are. - Idiot! Don't say things like that. I only did what I did for your own good. - If you don't mind, I'd like to talk to Miss Lowman. - Not at all. Lovers quarrel. - Keep quiet, Wooster, and sit down! - Oh, thank you very much. Get me a chair, will you? I'll get one myself. Mustn't strain the arm of the law. Now, Miss Lowman, you'll save yourself a lot of trouble... if you'll hand over the other half of those plans. - I don't know what you're talking about. - You know that isn't true. Why don't you give him whatever he wants for my sake? They'll arrest you if you don't. Arrest me? Why, he's the thief. Don't say things like that. These people are police. You'll make them angry. You keep out of this, Wooster. Come, Miss Lowman. I happen to know that you arranged to meet McDermott here... and turn over the rest of the plans to him. - Now you're being ridiculous. - And I also know... that McDermott arranged to turn over his plans to the Faulkner Aircraft company. Oh, really? That's quite near here. Just go down the road. - Thank you very much for the information. - Oh, no charge, old boy. - So, you see, your pretense won't work, Miss Lowman. - You might as well confess. - Are you going to give them up or must we take them? - I've said all I'm going to. Very well then. Go on. Search her. I can't allow you to manhandle the lady. - Sit down, jack-in-the-box. - I've had just about enough of you, Mr. Wooster. This isn't cricket. If you want to search, have a matron here. Search me. Wooster, if you interfere again, it'll be for last time. Here, take this. Very touchy on this "blowpipe" question. Is that regulation? I didn't know you government chaps carried those things. Just beginning to filter through the Wooster brain that you're not government chaps. An amazing piece of detective work, Mr. Wooster. Here, sit down. What are you doing? - Boss, you all right? - I don't know yet. From now on I shall hate "The March of the Hussars. " Oh, we can't get out there. Let's try here. Now, come on. Come on. Hurry up now. I'm sorry to have messed this up. I had no idea these people were thieves. It seems you had no idea of anything. If it hadn't been for you, these men would be in the hands of the police. - I'd do anything on earth to make amends. - It's too late now. - I'm not so sure. - They match perfectly. - These are the complete plans. - Well, I'm ready to leave. What the— - What's that? - Somebody playing games, probably. They've got the plans. Call everyone in the place. Stop them! - Mr. Wooster, sir. - Jeeves, what are you doing here? - Just exploring— - We've been duped. This girl is not a thief. - Really? - Take charge of the situation. Jeeves.! Jeeves.! - I beg your pardon, sir. - Nice work, Jeeves. I'm a little bit rusty for a former amateur champion. That's better. Allow me, sir. - Splendid! Splendid, Jeeves. - Thank you, sir. There they are! After them! - Jeeves! Two more coming up! - Very good, sir. - Good luck, Jeeves. - Thank you, sir. Faster! - I'm sorry about all this. - Yes, I know, but we've got to get out of here. Downstairs, quick! Stop them! - Jeeves! Two more on the ice. - What? Again, sir? Go on! Get 'em! - "Alone stood the brave Horatius—" - "But constant in mind. " - "30,000 foes before—" - "And the broad flood behind. " "'Down with him.! 'cried false Sextus. " "With a smile on his pale face. " "'Now yield thee,' cried Lars Porsena. " "'Now yield thee to our grace. "' - Oh, go away.! - Here, here! You can't do that, old man. Let go, you! Oh, you! You bully you! You great big brute.! You bully you.! You brute.! Let go of me, you brute.! Let go of me.! - No. Come on. - Let go of me! Really! You men cover the back. You come with me. You're under arrest! - Marjorie, are you all right? - Yes, I think so. But where have you been? Locked in a garage. Had to dig my way out. I got here as soon as I got the police. Where are the plans? - Mr. Wooster has them. - Wooster? Who's he? A friend of mine. Well, where is he? - Oh, he's gone! - Gone? Yes, he was downstairs— or maybe they've killed him. Come on. You two go on out. Come on. Mr. Wooster! Mr. Wooster! Bertie! Bertie! - Bertie.! Bertie, where are you? - Jeeves. Most extraordinary. He was here a moment ago. Oh, there you are. Here he is, miss. Bertie! Bertie, are you hurt? Marjorie, I was just having the most beautiful dream about you. Oh, this is my cousin, Mr. McDermott, the inventor. - How do you do? Jeeves, shake hands for me. - Yes, sir. Manville was going to try and get the plans of his invention. He was going to sell them to a foreign government. Yes. Where are the plans? Oh, here they are, sir. Will you ever forgive me, sir? - What for, Jeeves? - For hitting you on the head, sir. Oh, it's all right now, Jeeves. Everything's all right. Well, dash it! Everything's not all right. Jeeves, you ingrate. Get me out of the rough, will you? I'm afraid you'll need a blacksmith for that, sir. We owe a great deal to you, Mr. Wooster, and to your man. - Not at all. It was great fun. - Well, thanks anyway. I'll go and see if I can find that blacksmith for you. - How can I ever thank you for all you've done? - It isn't thanks I want. It's eternal devotion and everlasting friendship. Do you mean that, or are you still in a daze? I'm in a daze, but a wonderful daze. Parsons, orange blossoms, little choirboys— can you face that? Yes, if you promise me you'll never speak to a strange woman again. What are you doing? - Sittin' down. - Amazing. Oh, Jeeves, this is a very pleasant spot. We must spend our honeymoon here. Not our honeymoon, sir. Only yours. Jeeves, you don't mean you're leaving me still. How are we gonna manage? The young lady may have some idea, sir. I hear they generally have. That's right. I hadn't thought of that. - Shall I have a go at it till the blacksmith arrives? - Yes, please. - Thank you, sir. - Thank you, Jeeves. Go on, take a card, any card at all. Now look at it. Put it back. Ace of spades. - When did you change the act, Pop? - I didn't. He did. He did? Yes, he said straight magic is too old-fashioned. Wait a minute, take a bow. No, you take it. I got to get married. Come here, they're applauding you. They like it. Lucky. Now what? - I want to reason with you, if I can. - But you already did. Have you really made up your mind to leave me... just to marry some girl you happen to know? It's kind of customary to know the bride, isn't it? I hate to see you leave show business. A man with your talents... My talent is gambling, Pop. Hoofing is all right, but there's no future in it. I want to spread out. I think I'm going to miss you, Lucky. I know I'm going to miss you, Pop. Is he staying with us, Pop? No, he's made up his mind to get married. How do you like that? Letting his marriage interfere with our career? We shouldn't have played his hometown. It was a bad move. Bad for us and bad for him. Local boy makes bad. - Father, has he come yet? - No, and it's all very much as I expected. Hi, fellows. - How do I look? - Marvelous, colossal, splendid. Wait a minute. You're not going like that. Of course. Big church wedding, girl's family very social... whole town there. I guess it doesn't really matter, just a hick town. What doesn't matter? - Last year's trousers. - Last year's trousers? No cuffs. - No cuffs? - No cuffs. Whoever heard of cuffs on these? Are you serious? Don't be ridiculous. - Maybe he's wrong. - Wait a minute. Let's see that. - What do you think of that? - You know, you're in a hurry and... Garnett, you're wanted on the telephone. Just a minute. I'll answer it for you. It will only take about five minutes. Let us have your pants. - Hello. - Hello, John. Will you hurry? Tell him the minister is here. Margaret's been ready for an hour. We're all waiting for him. All right, I'll tell him. - Who was it? - It was the minister. He said to take it easy. He'll be about a half-hour late. - Good. - You see, there's plenty of material. - I'll take them down and have them fixed. - No, you don't. Pop, take them to Schmidt's and have them back in five minutes. - You want two cuffs on them? - Yeah, one on each leg. And hurry up. Tell him I got to have them back right away. While we're waiting, we'll indulge in the famous indoor sport. I'll get seven. - The next man. - That's it. - Any word? - They say he'll be here any minute. You know, I told Margaret this would happen. I always say, marry in haste, repent at leisure. The young man is now one hour and 25 minutes late. That isn't exactly marrying in haste. As long as I am living, and longer... I have never seen cuffs on pants like these. What's the matter, can't you make them? I can make anything... but I would rather not be wrong than right. I'm paying for cuffs and I want cuffs. No. 10 times... 20 times, no. Can't you understand? Look, here, let me show you. Do you see any cuffs there? Not one cuff. Thousands of no cuffs. Here, look these over. You see? No cuffs. Millions of no cuffs. No cuffs. More than that, positively not one cuff. Why not? - I want to speak to Mr. Garnett. - Speaking. - Here he is, sir. - Let me talk to him. Say, listen, you, the guests are all going home and... I'm the happiest man in the world because the wedding is off. And furthermore, if you ever come to this house again... I'll break every bone in your body. Do you understand that? - Red, is that call for me? - No, it's my dame. Okay, sweetheart, and a great big juicy kiss for you. Wait a minute. Give me a chance to get my dough back. - Give us a roll. - Here it comes... You ought to marry those dice. Marry? Holy cats! What time is it? - Pop, my pants! - You've got them on. Oh, yeah. Wait a minute! You're not going with all our dough. I got to get married. I'll bet you the bankroll you don't get married. That's a bet. No cuffs. The tailor says those kind of pants shouldn't have cuffs. What? Nice fellows! Hello. Where's everybody? Why, the guests have all gone, sir. Did you wish to be announced? Just let me get my hands on that young man and I'll strangle him! You leave him to me. I'll take care of him. No, maybe I'd better surprise them. He can't do a thing like this to a daughter of mine. This is my affair, you keep out of it. I'm your father and I'll settle this as I see fit. We'll be the laughingstock of this whole town! So... Here I am. Young man, why didn't you appear for your wedding? I thought you'd ask me that. Don't stand there like a statue. You said you were gonna do something. Well, do it. What are you gonna do? Don't you dare touch him. - Why don't you do something? - I will. I will, but... Pardon me, I think I'm in the way. - Perhaps you two would like to be alone. - You stay right where you are. - I'm not finished with you yet. - I had a feeling you weren't. I wouldn't let you marry her for $10,000. - How about twenty? - Not for $20,000. - Twenty-five. - Not for... Say, young man, where could you get $25,000? By dancing? And there's another thing... coming back to your own hometown in a dancing act. I'm going into a new business. Only this afternoon I made $200. $200? Yes, that's why I was late for the wedding. That makes it a little different. I'm not consenting to your wedding... but I always admire any young man that can make money. It shows character. - That's too kind of you, sir. - Not at all. Then Margaret and I can get married? If you go to New York and work hard at your business... and if you are successful... you can come back here and ask me for my Margaret. Oh, Daddy. And in all probability I'll be very happy to give her to you. Right, sir. Thank you, sir. John, dear. You'll come back soon, won't you? That all depends upon the stakes, the stocks... Goodbye, my son. Thank you, father-in-law. I'll say goodbye again because we'll both be waiting for you. Hurry back, dear. I feel that I'm a little to blame in this. You know, I didn't realize what a bright, upstanding young man you were. And I don't care how big the city, I feel confident... you're going to be successful. Thank you, sir. Lucky, couldn't I go with you? I'm afraid you'd try to be a good influence on me. No, honest I wouldn't. I'm terrible bad when you get to know me. Then I wouldn't want you to come with me. One to New York, please. - Whose money are you using? - Yours, thank you very much. But our money belongs to us again. What's the idea? Remember our bet? You see, you didn't get married. - I'll pay you later. - No. All aboard! - But I've got to get that train. - You mean you had to get it. You know, you didn't win that lucky quarter. I'll flip you for a ticket to New York. I don't want to go to New York. He doesn't want to go to New York. Goodbye, Lucky, old boy. So long. - Goodbye, Lucky. - See you later. Give my regards to the folks, will you? Say hello to Aunt Lucy. So long. Goodbye, Lucky. Lucky, here's your suitcase. Here's your toothbrush. Boy, I'd give my life for a smoke. - Well, take the quarter. - No, sir, not the lucky one. Wait a minute. I'll get a smoke. I beg your pardon, have you got a match, please? Thank you. How careless of me. I left my cigarettes at home. Then you won't need the matches. I'm afraid that won't work, unless you have a needle and thread. Excuse me, have you change for a quarter? Thank you very much. You shouldn't have done that just for me. I could've gotten along without them. - You hold it. - All right. Looks like a jackpot. Go and get your lucky quarter back, quick. I beg your pardon. You probably think I'm silly. Yes, I'm afraid I do. Just a moment. That quarter, I wonder if I could have it back? This isn't getting you anywhere. You don't understand. I'm not trying to get acquainted. All I want to know is... It's all my fault, too. I'm awfully sorry. Yes, I know. You've been trying so hard to avoid me. All right, give it back. - Give what back? - The quarter you stole from my purse. Come on, will you? Hand it over or I'll call a policeman. I haven't got it. I gave it to you at the cigarette machine. - Officer. - Come on. Let's go, will you? No, wait a minute. What seems to be the trouble? Good morning, sir. Officer, this man stole a quarter from my purse. Make him give it back. Now, miss, does he look like a man who would steal quarters? - That's just what I said to the lady. - Imagine... I don't care what you think he looks like. I know he stole my quarter. Now you run along, sister... before I run you in for disturbing the peace. But, Officer, he took my... That'll be enough. Run along now, you're obstructing traffic. Why, you Cossack. Officer, you had no right to speak to that little girl that way. I suppose you're going to tell me what my duty is. Not at all, but... Listen, guys like you pay me to protect them from screwy dames. That's fine, but in this instance I'm sure you were wrong. So now I'm wrong. You ought to thank me for what I've done. - All right, thank you. - All right. What did you say? I said, look out for the great big ditch. Pop, why didn't you tell me you had it? In front of the cop? I would've been accused of stealing it. Give me that. Wait for me. Miss Carrol! Hello, kids. No wonder this school is losing money. Everybody late every morning. Any more dilly-dallying and some of you will lose your jobs. Yes, and that goes for you girls, too. Anybody would think I had nothing else to do, but nothing. One would. Miss Anderson, good morning. If you're late again, you'll be fired, too. That's final. I have nothing more to say. That's good. - Is that you, Mabel? - I don't know. Tell me, is it? - Kind of sounds like you. - That's a load off my mind. I'm never sure these days. - Did you see a young... - Visitors make the pupils self-conscious. Would you mind waiting a second, please? - That's no if, Gus! - Supposed to be pretty good! He won the intercollegiate a couple years ago? I never seen a college Joe yet take a belt on the kisser! ! without phoning his mother! He's a good man, but I'll take him! I can feel it! Yeah, Gus! The trip's all set! I get a main go in Philadelphia on the 15th! After that, New York! Then I want a crack at the title! Over here! Lopez and Souza, you're next! - Mickey, get the doc! - He's coming! Easy, Gunboat! You're gonna be all right! - All right, all right! Let's have the next one! - Okay, Tony! Let's go! Come on, son! Wake up! Your name! - What's your name? - Name? - Yes, what's your name? - Name? That's right! Manila! Frankie Manila! I'm Frankie Manila, that's who I am! Frankie Manila! Middleweight champion of the world! - Frankie Manila, that's who I am! - I can't do anything here! - You better get him to the hospital! - Boys, give a little room, will you? Mickey, grab a cab! Tom, bring his clothes! Frankie Manila is who I am! Frankie Manila! See the wonders of the world! The mysteries of Paris! A night in the limehouse! Exotic Cairo! You can't afford to miss it, folks! There's no charge! Come in and stay as long as you want! You got nothing to lose but your worries! Come on in and have fun! It's free on the inside! Lookie, lookie, lookie what we've got! We're having lots of fun in the Fun Palace! Meet Madame Lorenza! She tells your past, your present! What would you like to know about your future? Step right in on the inside! Come in! Shoot down those little ducks and take a kewpie home! Step right in on the inside! - Your photo in five minutes! - Now, look at each other! Hold it! Okay! - Very nice! - Never a dull moment at the Fun Palace! There's something for everyone, from 8 to 80! Yes, sir! Something to surprise the men and shock the women, or vice-versa! Say, you in the blue serge suit! You look like a man with sporting blood flowing in your veins! Would you like to see the forbidden quarter of Algiers? Gather around closer, please! I've a little item to show you! This is called the ever-writing ballpoint pen! Sells for $ 15 in the leading stores! Back up a little, please, you bother me! You can write as easy with your left hand as your right! It doesn't make a difference! You geeked it! And I had a buck on you! You're yellow! You should've taken that with you! - Maybe you could've hit him with it! - Leave him alone! He don't mean nothing, Tony! I don't mind! A fight's only a fight! - I still got that million-to-one shot! - Okay, boys! Main event on! - Get ready, main event! - Luth! Intermission's about over! Hey, Mickey! Give Stoker a hand with his bandages! Main event in the ring! I wish I had the champ in there tonight! I know I'm right, Gus! Tell you, I can feel it! - Okay, boy! Now, let's go! - Good! - Luth, let's go home early! - Why not? It only takes one! I tell you, Tiny, you got to let him in on it! There's no percentage in smartening up a chump! - But what if he gets in a lucky punch? - Stick to your buckets! I'll do the thinking! - You ready, Stoker? - Never felt better! Good! Let's go! Looks like we get home early, all right! Hey, why don't you stop that? Cheating on yourself! Good crowd! Make a showing and you're in! - Watch out! - What did I tell you? - I knew I could take him! - Nice going, Luth! - Thanks! - Swell fight! Hey, Stoker! ! good luck! Don't go home yet, folks! There's another bout coming! And don't forget, Friday night is wrestling night! The Lithuanian Angel against the Masked Mastodon! And for the first time in Paradise City! ! they will wrestle in a ring filled with fish! Fresh fish! Thank you! - Red! - Yeah? - Where's section C? - Oh, it's right over there! Right over here, I've got delicious, piping-hot Coney Island red hots! Anybody else, now? Folks, get your red-hot peanuts! Five cents a bag! Here you are, folks! - 2! 5- to-1 on Nelson! - Will you pass that? I'll lay you 3-to-1 ! - Three-to-one, huh? - That's right! Well, I don't know! - What do you want? - I've seen these guys fight! Three-to-one, and I'll give you the draw! Here comes Nelson! Here he comes, Little Boy! Sit down! You're making too much noise! Okay, Little Boy! Hello, Little Boy! Hello, Bunny! How are you? - Hello! - See you down in the ring! I've seen that party! Everything's under control! Much action around here? Even money now! Nelson by a knockout! How about putting up a double sawbuck for me? - I better get going! - See you after a while, Little Boy! All the fight news and pictures! All the fight news and pictures here! Hi, Stoke! You'll take him, Stoke! You'll take him! All the fight news and pictures! All the fight news and pictures! Get your Knockout here! Now, remember, stay away from him! - Slug with him and he'll murder you! - I know what to do! That's right, Stoke, relax! Fight your own fight! Remember, take it easy for two heats! Then you can finish him! - That's the set-up! - Okay, Danny! Okay! Ladies and gentlemen! The next and final bout of the evening, four rounds! In this corner, at 194 pounds! ! in purple trunks, Stoker Thompson! - Give him a gun! - Hey, Pop, where's your wheelchair? And in this corner! ! at 198 and 3/4 pounds, in white trunks! ! that promising young heavyweight from Middletown! ! Tiger Nelson! Yeah, Nelson! Let's get it over with! Don't hurt him, Nelson, he's an old man! Okay, you know the rules! I want a nice, clean fight! No heeling, rabbit punching, gouging! Break when I tell you! Go to a neutral corner in all knockdowns and keep them above the belt! The customers came to see a good fight! Shake hands now and come out fighting! May the best man win! Don't bend, Pop, you'll never get up! Don't forget, stay away from him! That's the stuff! Stay with him! Oh, quit stalling! Let's have some action! That's it! - Don't worry, I ain't gonna finish you yet! - You ain't finishing nobody! Let him have it, baby! Let him have it! - Even money Stoker don't go the distance! - Twenty says he does! I'll take that, and as much more as you got! Break it up! Come on! Nelson's working on his belly! Stoker don't like it there! Who does? - What you trying to do? Cop a Sunday? - What's the matter? Can't you take it? It looks like a home run, and it is a... No, it's going to fall inside. - You're doing swell! - How're you doing, Stoke, huh? Okay, fella! Okay, let's see that! That will be all right! Take it easy, Stoke! Take it easy! There we are! Give them a show! One more heat, and we'll call it a day! Sure thing, Danny! Sure thing! You're doing fine! You're doing fine! - I told you I'm gonna take this guy! - He never laid a glove on us! Ten seconds! Don't forget, if you try to slug with him, he'll kill you! Hit him in the belly! You got him, Nelson! Knock him out! - How do you like it now? - I still say it'll go the limit! - Little Boy, I need some more dough! - All you want, baby! We'll make it 100! A hundred? Look, I don't want to take your money, sister! - Put your dough where your mouth is! - Okay, okay! It's a bet! Finish him! Come on, finish him, Nelson! Nelson's opened up his left eye! - It's bleeding! - Good! Come on, Nelson! Get him, Nelson! Come on! Stand up and fight! Nelson's pounding his kidneys! The sucker! Why don't he work on that eye? That's more like it! Come on! I don't like this! I don't like it! - Hey, what goes on here? - Don't you like it? You're trying to cross me! You wouldn't listen! I told you to tell him! Keep your pants on! All right, boys, break it up! The other eye, Nelson! Close the other eye! Ten seconds, Stoke! Get in your shell! Cover up! Cover up! Break it up, break it up! Go to your corners! Break it up, the bell rang! - What's got into him? - He's got to make it look good! Yeah, yeah! But we finish him the next heat, don't we? Yeah, the next heat! Here you are, get your fresh-roasted peanuts! Get all the peanuts you need right now, folks! There's not many left! I told you to get in a shell, didn't I? You see his face when I gave him that right? - He'll murder you now! Won't he, Tiny? - Red's got something! - What do you mean? - Play it smart! Keep away from him, and you'll go the distance! My only chance is to deck him! It's better to go the distance than get your head knocked off! Get your cold beer here! Get your cold beer! Right over here! I'll tell you when! Come on, Nelson! - Put him away, baby! - Down in front! Anything wrong with the view? Break it up! Break it up! All right, boys, break it up! Get him! I knew it, he ain't going! I knew it! You fink! Break it up! Stoker, break it up! Get away from there! That's it! See you later! One! Make him get up! Two! Get up! Make him get up! Four! Five! Six! Eight! Nine! Break it up! Go to your corners! Break it up! The bell rang! I'll murder that guy! I'll murder him! They're trying to pull a fast one! We've been crossed! I'll kill that tagger! He called me a fink! - What's he talking about? - Tell him, Tiny! Tell him! - It looks bad! - Yeah! - I can see all right! - Okay, it's your funeral! Hurry up and tell him, Tiny! We ain't got much time, so listen! You got to lay down, Stoker! - Lay down? - It's in the bag! There's 20 bucks extra in it for you! Maybe 30! - But I can stop him! - No, you can't, Stoker! This is Little Boy's fix! He's paying us to go in the tank! You know Little Boy if you cross him! You gotta go down! Go down on the first good punch! - Take the count! Let's get out of here! - Yeah! Ten seconds! Stay with him, Stoke, stay with him! Oh, it's a high fly ball, folks, right along third-base line. Palmer is after it. He's after it. He's got it! Hold it! Hold it! Let me see that cut! Stoker's through! He's through! How many more beatings do you have to take? Better lay down. Better than having your brains knocked out. - Better than having you dead. - You gotta lay down. Lay down. Lay down! Six! Seven! Ten! Fight! Let them fight! What a switch! Stoker gave him one under Nelson's chin! - Knocked him right over the ropes! - You got him, Stoker! Hold on, Nelson! Stop him, Nelson! You got him, Stoker! You got him! Stoker! Stoker! Kill him! Kill him! Stoker! - Get him, Stoker! - Cut him to pieces! Kill him! Let's get out of here! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! - Forfeit! Forfeit! - Eight! Nine! Ten! By a knockout, in two minutes, 58 seconds of the fourth round. - Forget it! - Pay him off! - But he said... - I said, pay him off! I don't like anybody to welsh! Let me give you a hand, Stoke! You can still punch, Stoke! I told you, you could take him! Thanks, Bat! Come on, take a deep breath! Take a deep breath! Come on, snap out of it, Nelson! Come on, Nelson! - Come on, open your eyes! - Snap out of it! Get your morning paper! Read all about it! Paper! Get your morning paper! Read all about it! Paper! - Holy Toledo! - I took him, Gus! I'll say he took him! That last right hurt me! On the table! You missed a great bout, Gus! Oh, you should've seen it, Gus! Stoker hit him with everything but the bucket! - He was landing as often as the Marines! - Boy! - I'll take care of that! - Stoker was sharper than eight razor blades! - He got careless! - After the third heat! ! I know the kid is a gone gosling, an amateur! Somebody yelled, "Yoo-hoo, Nelson, you dropped your glove!" He sure did, and his duke was in it! - There! - How's that eye? It's a beaut! I can't wait to see Nelson's hand! - Where's Tiny and Red? - They ain't been in here! Blow! You too! Oh, turn the lights out before you go, Stoker! You made a mistake, Stoker! A bad mistake! I don't mean about Nelson! Three, four wins and nobody will remember what happened! But I paid for something tonight, and I didn't get it! I don't like that, Stoker! I didn't know anything! Tiny didn't say anything! He know he was to go in the third! I give Tiny the dough an hour ago! - Fifty bucks! - I didn't get any... - I bet you didn't! - Hold it! You get dressed! We'll talk about this later! - Anything else? - A couple of cans of soup! - What kind? - Vegetable! Oh, and two bottles of beer! That'll be $ 1 ! 13 with three cents to the governor! That's $ 1 ! 16! One-sixteen! You ought to throw in a floorshow! There he is! All right, Stoker, we'll talk! Now! That's it! Hold him! I said, hold him! You'll never hit anybody with that hand again! Boy, has he got a snootful! Julie! Julie! Julie! Bill! - Julie! - I'm here, Bill! Bill, I'm here! - What's wrong here? - Julie! - What's the matter? - What happened? What did they do to you? - My! - Your hand? - Look at his face! - Somebody call the cops! - Call an ambulance! Please, hurry! - Surely! They busted it! They busted it for good! With a brick! I wouldn't do it! I wouldn't do it! Oh, don't talk, Bill! They wanted me to lay down! I was taking that kid! I should have gone tonight! I should have been with you! It's all right, Julie! It's all right! Julie! ! I can't fight no more! I can't fight no more! I know, Bill! But you won't have to! I can't fight no more! You won't have to fight no more, Bill! I'll make it up to you, darling! We'll get that cigar stand you were telling me about! ! or maybe even a piece of that fighter! It's going to be all right, Bill! You wait and see! Julie! I won tonight! - I won! - Yes, you won tonight, Bill! We both won tonight! We both won tonight! [ENGLISH] Yes, this is my town. It's not new to you. You've read books about it, you've seen movies. People are always talking about New York. It's the most exciting city in the world, they say, the most glamorous, the most frightening, and above all, the fastest. You hear a great deal about the tempo of this city, its speed, its pace, its driving heartbeat. Perhaps it's true, for visitors. But I was born here, I live here, and the only pace I know is the pace of my own life. The only beat I hear is the beat of my own heart. For me, and for millions of others, New York is home. The days follow each other quietly, as they do in most places. Only rarely does any one time stand out so that we remember it and say, "That's when everything changed. "After that, nothing was the same. " There was a time like that in my life, three days. I remember a summer evening in Gramercy Park. -Evening, Mr. Bourne. -Good evening. -Mrs. Bourne. -Good evening. Must be Thursday night. Bran, every Thursday we have this mad dash against time. Why? So we won't have to rush. I'm never late for dinner with your mother. It's a matter of principle. -Jessie, darling. -Hello, dear. -On the dot. -As always. -Horace, good evening. -Hello, Brandon. The first of the season. -The flower I love best. -Hello, Hannah. -Thank you, Brandon. -Good evening, Mrs. Bourne. Horace, you're looking very handsome tonight. And so are you. -My, that's a beautiful gown. -Brandon chose it. They're always much gayer when Brandon chooses them, Jessie. Nora Kernan, Horace and I don't come here every Thursday night just to talk women talk. Suppose we discuss dinner for awhile? Oh, Brandon, before I forget, Frank Belney called a few minutes ago. He wants you to meet him at your club at 10:00. -Oh, no. -I'm sorry, Jess. Frank's meeting his stockholders tomorrow. He must be getting nervous. Could you answer one simple question just to cheer me up? Yes. We are having corned beef and cabbage. -Dinner is served. -On the dot. Check. Dear, I don't know if it's possible, but I feel that you're cheating. When you can prove it, I'll be glad to discuss it with you. Jessie looks wonderful tonight. She has you to thank for her looks, darling. And you. When a woman gets more beautiful after she's married, it means her man is either making her very happy, or very unhappy. -Oscar Wilde? -No, Belasco. Horace, you're really very good with that one step of yours. You do so much with it. Well, I've been polishing it for 40 years. Nora, remember when you taught me to dance, backstage at the New Amsterdam? You had just been admitted to the Bar Association, and I was playing in What Every Woman Knows. -Your first season on Broadway, wasn't it? -Yes, it was. -The town went wild about her. -Thanks to you. Horace was my sponsor. There was no café society in those days, only Society with a capital "S", and its doors weren't open to a young actress. But Horace pushed them open. It wasn't too difficult, my dear. Horace, I'll never understand why you let her get away from you. She ran too fast, right into Matt Kernan. Why did you choose father, darling? Because we came from the same neighborhood. Because we were comfortable together, right from the very beginning. It's taken me 20 years to get comfortable with Horace. By that time, we were much too good friends to consider being anything else. Well, Jess, I'm just as handsome, and blue-blooded, and glamorous as Horace. -Aren't you comfortable with me? -At the moment, no. Well, in that case, I shall leave you for Frank Belney. Darling, would you like to stay? I can pick you up on the way back. Why don't you, dear? I'm terrified of being left alone with Horace. He's been wearing that family-lawyer face all evening. And I have a speech to go with it, my dear. It begins, "Nora, as your legal adviser, I cannot approve certain extravagances." See? I'm a little tired. I'm afraid you'll have to face Horace alone. Well, I shall ignore him. It's been the best evening of the week as always. Horace. -Good night, ma belle. -Good night. -Good night, Horace. -Good night. You make an awfully handsome couple. Naturally. I'm married to the second prettiest girl in New York. -Good night. -Good night. Everything is all right with them now, isn't it, Horace? I think so, Nora. It's worked itself out. -Fun, wasn't it? -I love our Thursday nights. You're such a lamb, flirting with mother, asking just the right questions. But I do wish you could come home with me. So do I. I don't think I'll be very late, darling. It's just a question of reminding Frank that he's a reasonably honest man. -Shall I wait up for you? -Yes, do. We'll have a nightcap together. We might even hold hands. -Your car is here, Mr. Belney. -Oh, thank you. -Can I drop you? -It's early. I think I'll stop in at the Del Rio for a drink. Join me? No, but I'll take you there. But I'd much rather you went home and worried about me. Hello? Hello? Hello? -John. -Yes, Miss Lorrison. Tell me, does Mr. Bourne still drop in? Not quite as often, but often. Let me know if he comes in, will you? Oh, there you are, Alec. -I thought you had to make a phone call. -I did, darling. Nobody home. I was just asking John about my compact. -You remember, I lost it last night. -No, I don't remember. I think the reward will help. It's square and gold-ribbed, isn't it? That's it. Be an angel, John. Do your best for me. Yes, Miss Lorrison. All right, darling, I'm all yours. -Good evening, Mr. Bourne. -Good evening. Well, good evening, Mr. Bourne. -John. -A table? No, I'll go to the bar, John. Oh, Mr. Bourne, Miss Lorrison asked about you. Isabel Lorrison? I didn't know she was in town. She's in the Candle Room with Mr. Dawning. A ghost from the past. Come and have a drink with me, John, I don't feel like being alone. I'm sorry, Mr. Bourne, I'd like to, but I can't. On duty. Okay. -How are you, Mr. Bourne? -Bill. -Scotch, please. -Yes, sir. Hi, Bill. Those fools I'm with from out of town are getting loaded in the Candle Room. Thought I'd take time out for some ginger ale and a few of your bad jokes. I'll give you the ginger ale first. Stunning dress you're wearing. Paris original? New York copy. Goes back to Marianne's in the morning. -You a model? -Yes. Is this a new kind of approach? Only in a manner of speaking. Good. Then I won't worry. Why don't you dance with me? -Any reason why I should? -Any reason why you shouldn't? No. You're a very nice girl. And I'll thank you to remember it. -What's your name? -Rosa Senta. -Italian? -Yes. And you're Brandon Bourne, aren't you? The seventh, or ninth, or something? Only the third. How do you know? Your wife comes into the store quite often. Everyone likes her. I like her, too. Since you know I'm married, I suppose you wouldn't consider sitting down with me for your ginger ale? Sure. I'm curious about guys like you. Yeah? -John, this reserved? -Always for you, Mr. Bourne. One ginger ale, one Scotch over rocks, please. Yes, sir. What are you curious about, with guys like me? -Well, doesn't your wife dance? -Brilliantly. Yeah. She's prettier than I am, she dresses better, and she's probably a lot smarter. Everything I can do, chances are she can do better. So, what do you want to be sitting here with me for? What is it with guys like you? What goes on in your fuzzy little heads? What do you want, my philosophy of marriage? -Well, I'm a reformed character myself. -Oh. No, really. But before I reformed, I suppose my thinking went something like this. Just because a man has one perfect rose in his garden at home, it doesn't mean that he can't appreciate the flowers of the field. -Does that make sense? -Oh, sure. But while you were out sniffing around these other little wildflowers, didn't the rose kind of fade? Practically out of the picture. That's why I reformed. Hello, Brandon. I'm very glad to see you. Rosa, this is Isabel Lorrison, an old friend of mine. -Rosa Senta. -How are you? I think I'd better be getting back to my friends. -Yes, why don't you? -Isabel... And thank you for keeping Mr. Bourne amused. You're good for a few laughs yourself. So long. You've answered all my questions. A year of travel hasn't improved your manners, Isabel. Was it my manners that interested you? What interests me now is what you want. Nothing that should frighten you. If you have something to say, say it at once. -I haven't much time. -Oh, not here. Why not? Is your Mr. Dawning jealous? Naturally. I may be a year older, Bran, but I haven't lost my touch. Let's go for a little walk, for old time's sake, or even just to prove that you're not afraid of the dark. You see, Bran, it's not so very dark. On the contrary, it's the blaze of noon, Isabel, revealing everything. Funny. Right here, at the Del Rio, $50 is a cheap evening. And over here, it's a lot of laundry. I never get used to New York. I don't know why not, it got used to you. Darling, since you're the one who did the walking out, why should you be so unfriendly? -I don't like revivals. -And what makes you think this is one? We knew each other very well, for a very long time. I've been away, and now I'm back. Is it so odd that I should want to know how you are, and what you're doing? -And that's all? -And that's all. Fine. I've been working hard, doing nicely, and I'm happy in my marriage. -She forgave you? -She forgave me. And you've been on the wagon since I left. If you mean have I been faithful to my wife, yes, I have. And I don't find it very difficult. I've always loved my wife. That shouldn't be news to you. Of course, you met me after you were married. But then, maybe that wasn't love. Whatever it was, it's over. Maybe it wasn't love. Maybe it was only chemistry, or the right combination, or a miracle. But most people drag through their whole lives without finding it. We both know that, don't we, Bran? You'd better get back to your Mr. Dawning. Alec Dawning has other things to offer. All that nice, new, shiny money, huh? What ever happened to that Amazon he used to go around with? That Felice... Felice something? She was mad about him. He wants to marry me. It would even things up, wouldn't it? We'd both be married. It would make things so much fairer from now on. -From now on? -When we run into each other. We won't. We know the same people, we go to the same places. -It would be difficult not to, wouldn't it? -Not at all. But what possible harm could there be in our having a drink now and then, or lunch? A great deal of harm. All right, Bran. I'm sorry. I just thought it might be fun. And remember, Isabel, there will be no telephone calls in the middle of the night, no mysterious telegrams, nothing. We're not gonna have any trouble. I'll do exactly what you want, Bran. Exactly what you want. Oh. Oh, Alec. I just ran into Brandon Bourne, an old friend. Hello, Bourne, I've heard a great deal about you. Get me a cab! Quick, get me a cab! Rosa. How do you feel? Baffled. It's simple. This is our home, and this is my grandmother. How do you do? -You're all right? Need a doctor? -No, thank you, I feel fine. All right. Then, go home! In a minute, Grandma, as soon as he's had his coffee. How does it look? What would Marco say? Mark would say he should go home as soon as he's had his coffee. I'm sorry. -Who's Mark? -My fella. He's coming home from Europe tomorrow. I mean, today. Rosa, why did you do this? Why did you bring me here? What was your first idea on it? That I thought you were pretty? It looked as if they were gonna turn you into tomorrow's headlines. I thought it might be messy for your wife. It was awfully nice of you. Shame on you! It's 4:00 in the morning. 4:00! I have to attend a meeting at 10:00. I'm supposed to be as sharp as a tack, and as clear as a bell. But you're not worried about what Mrs. Bourne will say. -Mrs. Bourne will be very understanding. -Of course. The items you pick out to tell her will be very easy to understand. Thank you, Rosa, from me and my wife. Thank you. If I were your wife, I'd cut your heart out. Good morning. Thank you for speaking to me, darling. -May I tell you what happened? -If you want to. Well, after we finished work, it was early, so I dropped in at the Del Rio for a drink. Like an idiot, I stayed too long, and so as punishment I suppose, I got into a rumpus with a drunk, and got knocked cold. But what was the fight about? What's a fight ever about? Nothing. Anyway, I was stretched out on the sidewalk with policemen and photographers rushing at me, and suddenly, I was rescued. A nice little Italian girl I'd met inside, hustled me into a cab and took me home to her grandmother. Well, they kept at me with cold towels and hot coffee until I snapped out of it. That's it, Jess. I know it sounds improbable, but it's true. -Do you believe me? -Yes, Bran. But wasn't that an amazingly kind thing for that girl to do? A girl who'd just met you. That's the best part of the story. Rosa's a model at Marianne's. She's seen you there, and admired you. She didn't want me to get into a mess that might upset you. Incidentally, she was very disapproving of me for being out alone. She said she'd cut my heart out if she were you. You wouldn't be any good to me without a heart. You wouldn't be able to love me. -I do love you, Jess. -I hope so. Darling, let's have dinner at home tonight, just the two of us. Oh, we're supposed to go to a party at the Lees'. Well, we can drop in for a few minutes, later, when you're getting bored with me. If we wait for that, we'll never get there. Get some sleep. You, too, darling. Just a minute. Come in, Josephine. Mrs. Lee is here. Oh, how nice. Show her into the library, please. I'll be down in a minute. Yes, Mrs. Bourne. -Helen. -Jessie. It's good to see you. Very good. How are the children, and Owen? And what are you doing out in the world so early? The children are devils, Owen's an angel, and I'm here to remind you of our party tonight. -Coffee? -Yes, thank you. Is the party about anything? Have I forgotten a birthday, or an anniversary? No. Strictly business, and bound to be awful. Some ex-cop has written a book Owen wants to buy for the paper, so this party is to dazzle the poor fool into signing away the syndicate rights. His name's Dwyer, Mark Dwyer. He gets in from Europe today. We'll drop in for a few minutes after dinner. I know you don't know much about time, But for us it's a big deal. But you don't have to worry about time, 'cause no matter what time it is, I'll be here to feed you. - Ms. Levin? - Yes, this is Mrs. Levin. Hi. I'm Shawn Gilder. I'm a teacher here in Arizona. I'm calling to inquire about a former student of yours. His name is Mikey Trenton, and he's in the fourth grade. Mikey Trenton? I don't remember a Trenton. Yeah. He had a different last name, but he won the spelling been last year. Oh, my God. You must mean Michael Kelvin. Why do you say that? You haven't heard about the tragedy? No, I haven't. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know if I should say. Please tell me. It was his whole family, and... What happened to his family? They were murdered. We never found out how because the police are still looking for the killer, and-- I'm going to the market. You got any requests? A six pack? Just kidding, Mom. - Good-bye, sweetie. - 'Bye. Save you a twinkie. Ho, ho. ( Rock Music Playing in Headphones ) - Hi, Jessie. - Hey, Mick. Ben around? No. He went with Mom to the store. Are you bored? Yeah, I know how it can suck being the new kid. You can hang out here with me for a while if you want. Are you sure? You don't mind? Tell you what. I was thinking about going for a boat ride. I could use a little muscle. Sure! I'm real strong. Only if you promise I'll be safe out there on the lake with you. 'Cause after all, you're a pretty good kisser. Ready? Go! I'll race ya! Jessie, why do you have to go away to school? JESSIE: Because I'm a woman with a past. I was a bad girl. I got kicked out of my school here. MIKEY: What did you do? Kill somebody? JESSIE: Oh, God! You kids do watch too many movies. Come on in! I don't have my suit on. So, Mick, do you like girls better than frogs yet? I don't like frogs. Nice evasive move. - What? - Nothing! Mikey, you're staring at me. No, I'm not. Hey, it's okay to look. It may not be polite to stare, but looking's nothing be embarrassed at. Just promise me one thing. When the girls you look at, they start to look back, make sure you're real nice to them; okay? If I had a girlfriend, I'd do anything for her. I bet you would. MAN: Oh, my God! What the heck are you watching? Just a horror film. Sorry, Buddy. I don't feel good about you watching that kind of stuff. Besides, it's bedtime. So what kind of fun stuff did you do today? - Dad? - Yeah. How do you know you love a girl? I don't know. You just know. It makes you feel good all over. Is it like I feel with you and Mom? Is there anyone in particular? No. Well, if there ever is, you just let me know. I'm always here for you. - Okay, Dad. - Okay. - Good night, Mikey. - Good night, Dad. - I love you, boy. - Love you, too. Oooh! Tomorrow I'll tell you a bedtime story. - Okay. - All right. ( Glass Shattering ) What the hell? Hey, come out here! Come on! David, forget it. I'm gonna kick some ass! ( Cat Screeching ) David, leave Rosie alone! She scared the hell out of me. She's just a cat. David, come inside. So who's out here? Huh, Jess? Don't start that again. Wait! You're not gonna answer me? I don't know! Right. ( Cat Meowing ) ( Snapping Sound ) David, don't I'm tired. I'd like to go to sleep. Come on, baby. David, it's wrong time. Jessie. Oh, Ben. Go back to sleep. What happened? I don't know. But you better go back to sleep before Mom ces home an catches you up. This will put you back in the mood. No, it won't. Okay. Come on. We were doing so good. Come on. Sorry. You kind of killed it for tonight. 'Bye. ( Engine Starting ) ( Crunching Sound ) ( Dog Barking ) ( Horn Honking ) JESSIE: Oh, God. I'm sorry, Jess. It was an accident. I mean, I didn't see her. Just leave; okay? ( Engine Starting ) MISS GILDER: If a man can excavate 10 cubic yards of earth in 6 hours, what can one man excavate in a day? Planet earth to Mikey. So what do you get? 40 cubic yards. That's very good. We're gonna do silent study now. Please turn to chapter 3. And Mikey, could you come here for a minute? And bring your book. Do you want to show me what's so interesting in that book of yours? Come on, Mikey, give. It can't be that bad. What have you done? I... I... NEIL: Based on this, you think Mikey has an emotional problem? All we're suggesting is that maybe Mikey should see a child psychologist. Christ! I made a picture like this when I was kid! I know. But we feel that Mikey may be-- just may be-- suffering from an emotional disorder called unattached syndrome. It's very common in adopted children. Don't you know anything about his history? I know Mikey. If anything, he's brighter than other kids. It's not a question of whether he's bright or not, Rachel. Most kids don't mutilate their own arms with thumbtacks. He did what? Self-mutilation is an expression of a child crying out for help. Wait a minute! I've read all the books, too. I haven't seen a child crying out for help! This is such crap! He's a wonderful kid. He's perfect! - Too perfect. - There is no such thing. There is in children with psychotic tendencies. So now we have Ted Bundy, Jr. Is that it? Look, Rachel. I know you're hating this. I'm hating this. But your son has a problem. Why are you doing this, Shawn? - I'm trying to help. - You don't want me to be happy. That's ridiculous! Stop denying the situation. Enough. That's all. Let's go, Rachel. - Rachel-- - No! Don't say it. We have to do something. They're too close to it. Did you see any marks on his arm? No! I can't believe Shawn is doing this. She thinks she's doing her job. I am going to pull him from her class. Don't overreact. The agency said there was gonna be emotional scarring. Hey, give it back! How could you like to be his parents? Where are my baby fish? Mr. Michaelson bought them for his aquarium. They were mine! They were grown up. It was time for them to have their own home. You had no right to sell them! - Mikey, what's wrong with you? - They were mine! Calm down. They were only fish. You don't care about how I feel. You don't love me. I hate you Calm down. Stop it. When Daddy gets home, we'll talk about it. He's not my real daddy. You're not my real mother! I hate you! I wish I never met you! Mikey, wait! ( Door Slamming ) I'm sure there's an explanation. If we could just get him to talk. I don't know. Maybe they're right. About what? Maybe we should take him to see a shrink. Look, honey. If we can just be patient, I think we can handle this. We both love Mikey; right? We're the ones that are gonna help him out. Mom. Mom! ( Gasping ) Mikey. I was looking for you. - What are you doing? - I have something for you. Mikey, you have to learn to knock. They're for being such a great mom. Why don't you take the flowers downstairs and put them in some water while I get out; okay? Mom. Hmm? Mom, what if I... I'm getting cold. If I threw this in the bathtub, it would work just like an electric chair. You're right. Be a good boy and unplug it. ( Gunfire on TV ) This is so cool when they blast their way out. - How do you know? - I've seen it three times. Hi, guys. How many dead? I know how much you miss your cat, so I got you a new one. Oh, thank you, Mick. ( Doorbell Ringing ) David, I told you I don't want to see you! Listen! Just talk to me! Please? Tell you please talk to me? Isn't that the guy who killed Rosie? - Who's the twerp? - He lives next door. Please, let me talk to you for five minutes. Please? Okay. Let's talk outside. What? Flowers? David, you're kidding; right? Please. ( Laughing ) Please? I really, really miss you. David, get off your knees. Please? Please, don't do this to me! You're pathetic. Where's your mom? At a friend's. Why? Just wondering. ( Music Box Music Playing ) ( Rock Music in Background ) ( Laughter in Background ) # One of these days # # I'm gonna do everything I say. # # One of these days... # Hey, hey, hey. I thought we were gonna give him some space. He seemed really quiet tonight. Well, he's probably just tired. I think we should try and talk to him. I think he'll talk when he's ready. Come on, Mom. Don't worry. Come on. Oh, please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Take me back; take me back! ( Laughing ) Hey! You're going in! ( Laughing ) ( Dialing Telephone ) ( Telephone Ringing ) Da-da-da-da, shh, da, shh. ( Laughing ) Whoo! Oh, yeah! ( Rock Music Playing ) ( Telephone Ringing ) - Did you hear that? - No. I think that might be Mom. I better get it. No, no, no, no. I'll be right back. Hey, bring back some beers. Okay. Hello. Hello? Hello? You're Ben's friend; right? You shouldn't be out here, kid. You shouldn't be out here, either. Yeah? Why not? Who is that? ( Video Playing Through Telephone ) Is this a joke? - You killed Rosie. - That was an accident; okay? Life is full of accidents. What are you talking about? - The radio. It's not safe. - Why not? 'Cause you could die. David, you wouldn't... David. David! David, I am in no mood for this kind of joke! David. David. David, if you don't come out right now, I'm going inside, and I'm locking all the doors, and I'm never speaking to you again! David! David! David? David! ( Screaming ) Look, lady. Officially, this case is closed. That's understood. The circumstantial evidence points to an inside job. The aunt's a nut, but she's clean. No one else will buy a nine-year-old doing all this. Hasn't he ever been checked out psychologically? They checked him out at social services, but he passes with a clean bill of health. Squeaky clean, beyond suspicion. I need to see those police reports. ( Sighing ) All right. You got a fax? Uh-huh, at the school. Okay. In the morning. But before breakfast, because it sure as hell ain't rated "G." ( Telephone Ringing ) Wasena. Um, I'm-- yes, he is. Could you hold on? Mr. Jenkins, it's for you. Let me take it here. Hello. - Good morning, Eva. - 'Morning. I'm expecting a fax. Nothing yet. Okay, thanks. Okay. Thanks very much for calling us. Yeah. Appreciate it. - Hi. - Hi. ( Clearing Throat ) Mikey Trenton and Ben Owens won't be in class today. There was an accident at Ben's house. Is Ben all right? Ben's all right, - but his sister's boyfriend is dead. - What happended? Some bizarre accident. He was electrocuted in the jacuzzi. I've been doing research into Mikey Trenton's background. I really need to talk to you about this. Yeah, okay. You go to your class. I'll meet up with you later. Okay. Eva, I'm gonna come back after my next class to check on that fax. "Electric chair"? We were so stupid. Putting the radio so close to the edge, that was so stupid. He was probably just changing the station or something. I went in to answer the goddamned phone. Do you believe there was some pervert on the line? I'm glad you're not dead. God! I wish I was. Maybe it wasn't an accident. What? Maybe he was being punished. Punished? For what? He killed Rosie. Mikey, that's sick. I thought you loved her. I did. But you can't love an animal the same way you love a person. I loved David. Now he's dead. I'm not dead. No, you're not, Mikey. Now you can love just me. Mikey, go home. Go home. "Now you can love just me." Rachel? Rachel? Rachel? Rachel! - Jessie, hi. - Rachel. How are you feeling? Um, I need to talk to you. Of course. Can I get you something. No. It's about Mikey. Yes? Um, I'm not sure how to, um... Rachel, I think that there's something very wrong with Mikey. What do you mean? There's something very strange about him. God, I don't know how to explain it. At first I thought it was just a crush. But... I think that Mikey's in love with me. He's only nine years old. He's not normal nine-year-old, Rachel! Jessie, you're upset. You've had a huge shock. Rachel! Would you listen to me, please? - Mikey said stuff. - What stuff? That David was being punished for killing Rosie and that now I could love only him. I think that he killed David. Jessie-- Rachel, listen to me! Your son is dangerous! If there's something wrong with Mikey, Neil and I will deal with it. RACHEL: I know we have to talk with Mikey. We'll decide what to do then. I'm sorry, Jessie. ( Dial Tone ) Did you get my fax yet? Oh, yeah. It's right here. - Here you go. - Thanks. Electrocuted? Oh, my God! - ( Busy Signal ) - Dammit! Miss Gilder. Miss Gilder, Where are you going? Mikey's first mother was electrocuted. Sounds familiar? I see what you're getting at. Rachel doesn't understand how dangerous he is. My car's right here. ( Tires Squealing ) ( Woman Screaming ) David! Mikey? Mikey, are you all right? What are you doing? Watching "Mikey's Funniest Home Videos." Oh, my God, Mikey. What have you done? Pretty funny, huh? You better go to your room. Mikey, put that down. It's not a toy. That's what you. Mikey, give me the hammer. Okay. Ahh! ( Busy Signal ) Damn! Mikey. Mikey. Mikey! - Uhh! - Ahh! Uhh! No! Uhh! Oh! ( Sobbing ) ( Sobbing ) ( Coughing ) ( Hammer Hitting Stairs ) ( Brakes Screeching ) Now, Shawn, I know Rachel's a friend of yours, but please watch what you say. ( Pounding ) My God, Mikey. No more! ( Sobbing ) Ahh! No! ( Sobbing ) - Uhh! - No! Oh! Mikey, it's over! No... Mikey, please. No! Uhhh! No! No! Ahh! Hurry. Just open it! Rachel! ( Whispering ) Oh, no. Oh, God. Don't! Go on outside. Go on. What the hell... Hey. What are you doing with that? Give me that. You'll shoot yourself. We could have stopped this. Maybe you're right. We should have stopped this. I owed her. Hey, hey. Take it easy, now. Listen, I got to go in and call the police. Will you be all right? Hmm? Yeah. Yes. Okay. ( Busy Signal ) Come on! Oh, jesus! ( Ball Bouncing ) Mr. Jenkins. Mikey. Put that down, Mikey. Put it down. God help me. ( Clicking ) Ahh! Mikey! Ahh! Shawn! I guess you were looking for these. Here you go. ( Door Slamming ) - ( Glass Shattering ) - Ahh! You know, Miss Gilder, I think your marble game is like the best. You know what? This is my lucky marble. What do you want, Mikey? You were the best teacher I ever had. I learned a lot. But would you teach me one more thing? - What? - How to die. Ahh! ( Panting ) ( Telephone Ringing ) Hello? Trenton residence. Mikey speaking. NEIL: Hey, Mikey Trenton. What's up? Where are you? I had a late meeting, but I'm on my way. Is your Mom there? Yeah, Mom's here. Can I speak to her? She's not feeling very good. Not feeling "very well." Okay. Never mind. I'll see you in a bit, boy. I'll be waiting. ( Sound of Gas Escaping ) Mikey, what do you want? - Where's Ben? - He's not home. - Can I come in? - No! But-- Mikey, what the hell are you doing? Why don't you like me anymore? Mikey, I want you to go home. But I like it here with you. How did you get in here? - My Secret way. - This time you're gonna use the door. - But-- - Mikey, go home! But-- ( Gunfire on TV ) I'm gonna get you, you little shit! No. Mikey, no! ( Gasping ) ( Car Door Shuts ) ( Humming ) Hi, chief. What have you been up to? Nothing. Just waiting for you. ( Muffled Yell ) Neil! Neil! Hi! - She sure is pretty. - Sure is, Dad. So did you have a good day? Yeah. Got a lot accomplished. That's great! I'm real proud of you. Both of us are. We're both real happy that you like it here with us. Dad, will you always love me? Always, Mikey. Thanks, Dad. Neil! Don't need that. Something for your Mom. Bills, bills, bills. Ooh! Look at this! Can you read that? "You won." Maybe we did. Come here. I have a surprise for you. A surprise? - Yeah. - Where? - Come on. - Where is it? - Come on. - What? Go. Go, go. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel? ( Gagging ) Ra-- Ra-- Ra-- No! ( Sirens ) We suspect a gas leak. We discovered four adult bodies in the debris. We assume two were the residents. We don't know about the other two. Ma'am, do you have any idea who they might be? No, I don't. I see. What about Mikey? I saw him go in there. We did find the skeletal remains of what appears to be a 10-year-old child. Are you sure? I'm very sorry. You're sure? When we found the boy out on route 240, he had a bad case of Amnesia; didn't even remember his name. When we finally gave up trying to locate where he came from we callled him "Josh." Josh. That's a nice name. Josh doesn't remember too much about his part, but our staff psychologist thinks he's gonna be just fine. What he needs most is to feel that he belongs. We have been praying for a child for a long time. You're gonna have to be very patient with him in the beginning. It won't be easy. God will show us the way. Well, remember: your love is the best chance Josh has for a new and healthy life. Josh, you can come in now. Are you gonna be my new mommy and daddy? Captioned by Grantman Brown Mmm... [KISSING SOUNDS] [WOMAN LAUGHING] [MOANING] Mmm. I, um... I've got to go. Hey... Just wait. No, I--I, I'm first up, you know? They'll get somebody else. Uh...no. I--I... No, I can't. I can't d... I can't do this anymore. Hey, what do you mean? I... I don't know, I'm... It's sick, you know? That's all. [SIGHS] [DOOR CLOSING] What are you doing? I was, um, I was just... You were with someone in here. No, I wasn't. Who was it? Skip? I said I was alone. Okay, okay, fine. I just thought I heard a man's voice. Come on, the meeting's started. Let's go. Hello, my name is Skip, and I'm an addict. Hi, Skip. Uh... I was in love... with a bottle. We slept together, we worked together, and... we got fired together, and, uh...if--if booze was... my demon, then, uh... 12 Steps To Recovery has... has been my angel of mercy. It didn't happen overnight, and, uh... I never would have made it without my sponsor, Monica. What is this, some kind of sick joke? [GUN COCKS] Hey... Geez! [¶] NARRATOR: He was brought across in 1228. Preyed on humans for their blood. Now he wants to be mortal again... To repay society for his sins... To emerge from his world of darkness... From his endless forever night. Thanks for your help. I appreciate it. Your name, please? Angie W. [CHUCKLES] Angie W., Tricia S., Tony D. Don't any of you people have any last names? Look, I heard the gunshot, I saw the fire, just like a hundred other people, all right? Can I go now? Yeah, yeah, you can go. Hey, but first, uh... Can I bum a smoke, please? [LAUGHS] Sure. Thanks. I really appreciate it. All right, here. Right. Having a rough time? Nasty, nasty habit. I'm handling it. That's what they all say. Seriously, I'm just down to one a day, a pack a month, tops. Really. And, um, how many more do you bum? A few, and you must be Clara B., right? Clara Barton? No. Monica. Monica Howard. You're the first one who's given me a full name. Well, the 12 steps are anonymous and talking to the police is not part of the program. Yeah, right, right. So, uh... How well did you know Skip Holling? I was his sponsor. He was, um... a really nice guy. You know, he was doing really well with his recovery. Did he have any, uh... friends, enemies, any relationships? Probably all three. You know, I don't think I'm much help. We just talked about booze, that's it. Right. Thanks, thanks, uh... If I have any more questions? Yeah, you can--you can reach me here, Detective... Schanke, Don Schanke. Hi. Thanks. Monica, if you don't mind me asking, what was your... Addiction? Yeah. I do mind. I was hoping she'd say "balding married men." [TELEPHONE RINGING] [ANSWERING MACHINE CLICKS] Yeah, Nick Knight. I'm either in bed or incommunicado, so if you want to leave your name and number, go ahead. SCHANKE: Hey, Nick, got any bad habits? NICK: You want me to go undercover as what? A member of the 12-step program. Aw, come on, captain. It makes sense, Nick. You weren't at the crime scene, and... Nobody knows you're a cop. There's a bit of a catch-22 here, captain. I know. Your vacation. Look, I wouldn't have called you in if I didn't need you. Tell him. They're stonewalling, Nick. Nobody wants to say diddly about the victim because it's part of their code or something. It's a dead end. Unless I become one of them. Got any bad habits? Maybe it'd do you some good. Nat, what do you think of 12-step programs? I think they can be very helpful for some mortal addictions. How about the more exotic ones? You know my theory about that. It's the blood that keeps you from coming over. I try, Nat. I really do, I really try. Do you think a 12-step can make me give it up? No one can answer that for you, Nick, but it wouldn't hurt you to give it a shot. When I came here three years ago... I was on my knees, almost literally. I felt like a complete and total failure as a human being. I hated myself. I couldn't see any way out of my addiction. Essentially, it's like feeding the beast-- this big, ugly, greedy beast that demands to be fed over and over and over again. Is this your first meeting? Hi. Yeah, actually, it is. My name's Nick. I'm Monica. Hi. Your words were an inspiration. Thanks. Yeah, she's great, isn't she? This is Hillary. Hillary, this is Nick. Hillary, it's a pleasure. Hi. Listen, if this is your first time, you shouldn't feel pressured to join this group. There's others in the city you might want to check out. Hillary's right. It's really important that you trust the people you're going to be looking to to help you... And who'd you rather look to for help than Monica? You come here to get off drugs, and you meet Monica. That's a pretty good deal. I'd marry her tomorrow if she'd give me the word. Henry, settle down. You're going to scare Nick off. Well, that's the idea. Less competition. We'll, um, talk later, right? Yeah. I'm his sponsor. Look, why don't I take you over to Angie? She's got books and pamphlets. Nick, it's going to be rough, but we're all here for you, and if you need any help, just call me, okay? Here. Any time. Thanks. Uh... where do I start? The first step is admitting to someone that you love and trust that you're powerless before your addiction. That's not going to be easy. No, it's going to hurt like hell, but the program works, it really does. Hi there. STONETREE: So how do we know it's the same killer? Similar MO. Kills with the victim's... choice of drug. Uh, Lewis... mind if I bum one? Thanks. If the killer knows their addictions... He knows them pretty well. Maybe very well, if you know what I mean. When? Fairly close to the time of death. After the meeting? Yep. How about the last victim? Uh-huh, that's why I checked. Okay. Well... Let's make some connections, uh... Do we have the, uh... members' last names? Yeah, and the telephone numbers. Sign-in sheet from the meeting. Though, I got to tell you, I feel a bit like Judas. It's not like you're one of them. Schanke... um... What would you say if... What would you say if I told you that I was an addict? [LAUGHS] Yeah, right, and I'm the Maharishi. Hey, wait, wait, wait, I'm serious. I'm talking to you, here, okay? Seriously. An addict? Wait, wait, we're not talking about the red wine in the refrigerator, are we, because... No, no, no, absolutely not. You're perfectly all right, Nick. You're perfectly fine. Absolutely not. Trust me. [LAUGHS] So much for step number one. Yeah? What's step number two? [POURING] Hi, my name's Nick, and I'm an addict. It's the hunger that drives me, and it's not for, um... for booze, or crack, or junk. It's for, um... I drink blood so that I can live forever. LACROIX: What's so terrible about that? You have to fight it, Nick. You don't have to listen to him. She's right, Nicholas, don't listen to me. Listen to your hunger. Listen to the beast in your veins calling to you. I can help you, Nick. I'm here for you. Who can help your hunger? Your craving for the warm, sweet taste of blood. You can beat it, Nick. Surrender! Yield to your thirst. [GROWLING] Gonna fly the coop on us? Simòn. You gonna take care of that business for us, right? You brought your brother in. You gotta take him out. Santana was gonna talk to J. D. Come on, don't punk out on us, ese. If you can't take care of it, we will. Anybody that happens to be with him gets to go along for the ride. One-two-three, five! One-two-three, six! One-two-three, seven! Dear Julie, maybe the reason I learned how to read and write was so that I could write you this letter. Here in this cage, behind these bars, I can read, I can learn. I can even make love, but it's distorted. I thought that what I had learned on the inside was everything I needed to know, even on the outside. Like they say, things don"t always turn out the way one feels they should. Till now, all the books I've ever read have been to try to get power. J U LI E: Let's see. Mico, help me find my shoe. MICO: Yeah? You'd lose your head if it wasn't fastened on. You were the door to another life, where my seed might have been affirmed. Ta-da! I found your shoe! I"ve brought back to this hole a breath of life, which I am trying to use. We make it, carnal. We don"t fake you, we just take you. "Cause La Primera"s ese. Always has been, always will be. Ã"rale. Ã"rale. Welcome to the clica, carnal. Por vida, ese. Por vida. Are you coming out, ese? Staying in. Are you sure you know what you're doing, ese? Simòn. You scared me by showing me a glimpse of what my life might have been. That's Lourdes. Ã"rale. Hey, be careful! Don't worry, homes, I ain't gonna crash. Check that one out. See all the people? They were throwing rice and shit. Look at Mama. Pull over up here. I gotta take a leak. This medal I send to you as a gift for helping me find my voice, a key to my soul which I will use. St. Dismas is the patron saint of all those in prison. He has protected me. May he do the same for you. Have hope. You deserve it. PAULITO: La Primera lives, ese. It lives through us. It gives to us. It is us. Simòn, ese, it's all we got. It's all we've ever had. Carnal, remember that time we went down to the L.A. River? We drank that funky, funky wine, ese. Man, I was sick for a week. You wanna know what Lourdes asked me? I'm telling you this 'cause you're my carnal. She wanted to know if the reason why they call me "Little Puppet" was... You know. Made me real angry. I think she's pregnant now. I guess I showed her, huh? Don't look at me! Don't look at me. Don't fight. Please, don't fight! J ust die! J ust die. Mi carnalito. God damn me. Coming out? Paulito. Can I talk to you for a minute? Your brother sent this for you. He wants you to have it. You know what it is, right? Yeah. Yeah, I went with my mom to give it to him, years ago. Thanks. Ã"rale. Hey, check it out! Look at what my carnal sent me. Mommy, where're you going? To school, Mico. To school? Give me a kiss. I love you. Is it okay if I go with the guys? No, it's not okay. MICO: Why not? J U LI E: Because I said so. Please? No, you can't. PAU LITO: Looks good, don't it? You're a man now, ese. PAU LITO: Let's go cruise the boulevard. Paulito. Be right back! Paulito! Paulito! Papa, I'll be right back. You coming out, ese? Yeah. You got a lot of heart, carnal. Maybe too much. You've always gotta give it your best shot, you know? Which one, ese? Don't matter. Fuck it, homes. La Primera lives! What is time? Time is when a man is tryin" to make time with your woman, but you doin" time behind bars and your time is standin' still. Yo, Frost, kick it to these people for real. Kl D FROST: Time slips through the hourglass Through night and day And I watch as the games people play It's like do unto others, then split And if you can"t back up what you say then you ain"t shit I"ve seen the manifestations of the street So I can manifest what I see on a drumbeat Like just last night What happened, man? I watched these two vatos get in a crazy fight One of them was quick to pull a knife He stabbed him in the heart And now he's doin' life in prison at the age of 21 Livin' on death row "cause he couldn"t let go Caught in the web of violence Row deep when they creep And move in silence of the lambs Yo. A tattooed teardrop as the iron gates slam Ain't no sunshine Any time, hey Ain't no sunshine Damn, damn, ain't that a shame? You"re lost so pay the cost Shouldn't have played the game Should've listened to the Frost When I was tryin" to come across to ya But no, you didn"t think Sucker. You just keep gettin" yourself more deep Until you sink So there's no one else to thank but yourself So go ahead and take a bow for a job well done But you"II never see the day of the sunshine Or the fun times Just the old days and your old ways True. Corrupt and wicked Out there doin' dirt instead of just kickin" it Pow-pow bang-bang and all that noise Yeah, you and all your homeboys You take time to read between the lines 'Cause ain't no sunshine Ain't no sunshine Any time, hey Ain't no sunshine Yo, kick it. I know about bein" macho Callin' the shots, the big time head honcho But here's somethin' even more gacho One of my homeboys is your old lady Sancha Yo, shit happens Her number lights up on his beeper Right as I"m rappin" While you sit in your cell writing' a letter Sayin' when you get out Yo, things"II be better But, man, she couldn't wait So she's goin' out on dates with every Tom, Dick and Harry And if you ask me, yo, shit"s gettin" scary So how you gonna handle this When your ho"s in Los Angeles actin' so scandalous Yo, you can"t blame her you didn"t take the time And now ain"t no sunshine Ain't no sunshine Just for you in "92. You know what I"m sayin"? Ain't no sunshine So if you don't want to do no time, you better take time and try to draw the line. Or you're gonna be the next fool in line doin' time. You know what I"m sayin"? Like my man said. Ain't no sunshine, fool. Ain"t nothin" happening" up there. You know what I"m sayin"? Yo, me and Frost is outta here. (MEN WHISTLING) COP 1 : Ain't nobody talking when I'm talking, fellows, so shut the fuck up! The following items you place in the envelope as I call them off. An empty wallet. Legal paperwork. First three out of the tank. COP 2: Line up single file along the bench. Let's go. Open your mouth. Stick out your tongue. All right. Do your ears. One at a time. Okay, bend your heads over, shake them out with your fingers. Put your hands above your head. Hands out in front of you. Over. Move those fingers. Reach down and lift up your nut sack. Drop your nut sacks, and skin back your dick. Turn around. One foot at a time, pick it up and wiggle the toes. Other foot. Bend over, grab your ass, spread your cheeks and give me two good coughs. (MEN COUGHING) Stand right there. julie: You're like two people. Inmate Montoya Santana? One is like a kid. Doesn't know how to dance. Step this way. Doesn't know how to make love. That's the one I cared about. Step inside. But the other one... The other one I hate. Τhe one who knows, the one who has his rap down, who knows how to run drugs. Who kills people! SANΤANA: Until now, I would've thought it a sign of weakness to even listen to what you said to me that night. But I see that you were right. I am two people. One was born when I met you. The other one began in a downtown L.A. tattoo parlor. (WHlRRlNG) SANTANA: My father, Pedro, was showing his love for my mother, Esperanza. Por Vida. For life. my mother was a beautiful woman. They were pachucos, zoot-suiters, and proud of it. In June of 1 943 America was at war. Not only overseas, but with itself. The racial tension was running high against anyone that was different. Excuse me! WOMAN: Esperanza! (whooping) (speaking spanish) (whistles) ls it new? For me, esa, put together with a lot of love! Yeah, esa. Vamonos. (RADIO CHATTERING) MAN ON radio: Take note congressmen and senators, we don't need a third front. MAN 1 : Read all about it! Get your paper. MAN 2: Come on. Come on, let's get out of here. Let's bring our boys home to fight those zoot-suited dandies that are making it unsafe to walk our streets today. Last night in Detroit six people were killed and many injured when army, navy and marines clashed with zoot-suited thugs. Stores and property were destroyed. Riots have been reported throughout our country. MAN 3: Come on, guys, you don't want to start any trouble. (MEN chattering) MAN 2: Get your late Times. Hey, it's time to be moving, ladies. Let's get Pedro and get over to the dance and off of these streets. De volada. (speaking spanish) SANTANA: On the night of the Zoot Suit Riots, Pedro and Esperanza had a date. (PEOPLE laughing) (speaking spanish) (PEDRO speaking spanish) Hey, let's see the finished product, hombre. You're gonna like it, esa. Now you'll always be a part of me. Chingao! Este vato's a fine artist, ese. It's beautiful ! PEDRO: Órale. And so is the price. Hey, we better be hatting, ese. The streets are hot, hombre. (SPEAKS spanish) lf you got a problem being on the streets wearing your colors... (SPEAKS spanish) Oh yeah, between the Hearst newspapers and Walter Winchell on the radio, you'd think the pinche war was right here in L.A. , hombre. It's getting hot all over America, carnal. I'm grooving with my woman down the boulevard. She's so fine. My ruca's all mine. No telling what time I may get home 'cause I'm here. (speaking spanish) Say that fast three times, ese. (speaking spanish) (MEN clamoring) ESPERANZA: Let him go. Leave him alone! (ESPERANZA screaming) Leave him alone! No! Leave him alone! PEDRO: Esperanza! No! No! Don't let go! God damn, no! Stop! Esperanza, Esperanza! No! Pedro! Pedro! Esperanza! Come on over here. No! Come on, get out of here! MAN: Let's give him a haircut. Esperanza! Don't touch me! (police siren wailing) MAN: Break it up! (ALL clamoring) No! (ESPERANZA groaning) PEDRO: Esperanza! Esperanza! Esperanza! Esperanza! Esperanza! SANTANA: Zoot suit, new suit. It sounded all the same. I had no clue what they'd been through. It was a mystery. But to be 1 6 in '59, staying away from home even if I didn't have a dime, 'cause the old man was just waiting to give me his piece of time, drove me to the street just to save my mind. What's happening? Don't forget the spark plug, homes. I'll see you guys later. What's up? Hey, chico? BOY: Santana. Hey, chico, I'm not gonna make it, all right, homes? I'm gonna go eat. Later. All right, man, later. (PEOPLE chattering) ¿Abuelito, qué hubo? ¡La puerta, la puerta! You got it. Puerta, la puerta. You're always nagging. There. You happy? You get your coffee? Yes. Good, good. Hey, Mom. You're home, huh? You should respect your grandfather, huh? I didn't say anything mean. ¿ Y tú, qué? How you doing? Okay. How was your day? Good. Just go sit down. I'm hungry. Paulito, how're you doing? (BARKS) (SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) Turn that thing off. (LOWERS VOLUME) You know what "off" means? SANTANA: It was easy to blame my father for everything I did. Isn't that the life of every kid? Shit. Took me a Iong time to understand that rhyme. J. D. Hey, come on, J. D. (speaking spanish) What are we gonna do about Mundo? He's young, he's weak. But I think we ought to let him in, show him the way, you know? Órale. (speaking spanish) Come here. Give me your hand. You know what, ese? White Fence, Maravilla, Lomita, they've been around a lot longer than us, you know? It's cool. (SPEAKS spanish) We're finally getting into our own, you know. Gaining respect. (SPEAKS spanish) Our families, that's all we got, ese. (SPEAKS spanish) J. D. : When we were kids, belonging felt good. But having respect, that feels even better. SANTANA: You know, La Primera lives through us, ese. It gives to us. It is us. We make it, carnal. We don't fake you, we just take you. 'Cause La Primera's ese. J. D. : Always has been, always will be. Órale. Órale. Welcome to the clica, carnal. (SPEAKS spanish) SANTANA: Coming to terms with the lessons one learns through the choices one makes is not easy. Mundo, me and J.D. Boy, were we crazy! Oye. I gotta be making it back to my pad or my mother's gonna whip my ass. (SPEAKS spanish) Wait up, okay? We'll be hatting with you. Let's take the short cut. Hey, no need to, man. We don't need to nothing. We do what we do, ese. ¿Entiendes, mendes? Hey, fuck it, ese. Get on down the road, ese. Órale. Órale! Shit! Órale. Where you vatos from? (SPEAKS spanish) Bullshit. (shouting in spanish) BOY: Fuck you ! Primera lives! Órale, ese. (whistle) There they are! Oh, shit! Come on, let's go! BOY: Putos! Shit! Fuck! (BOYS yelling) Órale! Ándale! BOY: Get those guys! Shit! (HORN HONKlNG) We're surrounded ! Come on, down the alley. To the left, homes. We'll meet at the boulevard. Hurry up, J. D. Hurry up, ese. (BOYS shouting) (J. D. groaning) You all right? Come on, J. D. Go! SANTANA: Come on, Mundo, let's go! Hurry up. Go, go, go! J. D. : Open that door, homes. MUNDO: Come on, carnal. Here they come! Got it. Come on ! Come on. Come on. They're coming ! Close the door. MUNDO: Here they come. Órale! J. D. : Órale. ¡Oye! Where're you vatos going? Shit! Santana, please, man. What are you laughing at? We gotta get out of here, man ! God damn it, turn that fuck... Órale. (JUKEBOX WHlRRlNG) Oh shit! (ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC PLAYING) MAN: Don't move! No, Mundo, don't, man ! Don't! This is the last time you will steal and destroy my property! You hear? I said, don't move! J. D. , stop, man, stop! My leg ! (sobbing) I can't feel my leg ! J. D. , come on ! Go call an ambulance, man. Go call a fucking ambulance! I told him not to move. Hurry up! SANTANA: Thought I knew it all. Ended up in juvie hall. And the shit got even deeper. COP: To the right. Open up your mouth. Okay, pick your clothes up. Take it on down to the property room to exchange your clothing. (whispering) Don't fucking move, you fuck! Don't make a fucking sound. Hear me? (groaning) (GRUNTlNG) Does it feel good? Fuck, yeah. You say one word about this, (panting) there'll be shit on my knife, not on my dick! Fucker. (GRUNTS) Damn you, you fucking asshole! Kill him ! Kill him. (groaning) SANTANA: killing that first night got me the worst that juvie had to offer. An extended sentence with a guaranteed bus ride to the big time as soon as I turned 1 8. But the respect I earned made me think I'd found the answer. When J.D. showed up a year later, I knew we'd get even stronger. Hey, man, what's your name? Hey! Where you from? La Primera. East Los. You talk like a fucking chicon, man. I'll check you out later. Órale, I see they finally let your white ass out of the hospital, carnal. Santana! How you doing, man? Cool, ese. Mundo! You guys, check it out, man. This right here's J. D. , my best crime partner. This is Chuy, Casper, Chucko, Raymond and Big Happy. J. D. : Órale. Can I talk to you, ese? Yeah, come here. (SPEAKS spanish) You thinking of letting him in, ese? I told you he was my best crime partner. He ain't Mexican, ese. (SPEAKS spanish) Órale. So, homes, how's that leg? Check it out, hard as a rock, ese. Shit, homes, throw some shellac on it! Shit! I'll still run your ass to the ground, ese. (SPEAKS spanish) J. D. : I seen that dude before. Ese vato sitting on the bench. I think he's with 1 8th Street. Chale, ain't no barrios in here, man. No La Primera, 1 8th, Hazard. Nada. (SPEAKS spanish) They stick together playing ball. See those white boys on the steps? Be happy don't you belong to them, ese. Over here, we gotta stick together, homes. One big clica. And bless my soul He out-bopped the buzzard and the oriole He rocks in the treetop all the day long Hoppin' and a-boppin' and a-singin' his song All the little birds on Jaybird Street Love to hear the Robin go tweet tweet tweet Rockin' Robin Tweet tweet Rock, rockin' Robin Tweet tweedle-dee-dee Go, Rockin' Robin, 'cause we're really gonna rock tonight Tweet tweedle-dee-dee Tweedle-dee-deedle-dee tweedle-dee-deedle-dee Tweet tweet (ALL chattering) (speaking spanish) Órale, homes. Let's go. SANTANA: Choices we made to survive got mundo, J.D. and me 1 0 to 25. Give me a year, J. D. Fuck the year, homes. I'm gonna go make my collections. Órale. What's up, peckerwood? SANTANA: Power became our game. Make sure the meeting's set for tonight with the Black Guerrilla Family. Power to provide everything you find outside. Make sure the Aryan Brotherhood's behind us. Make sure they're part of the whole thing. (speaking spanish) I'll be over with the carnales. You got your people, Big Jim? big jim: Be straight with me, man. Hey, Santana. SANTANA: Extortion. They wanna do it. What should we do? Go ahead. (speaking spanish) gambling. You just give it a little bit of time. Prostitution. All right. It's done, man. We give you three packas. Make sure it's done right. We got it together because we had to, didn't have a choice. The eme is here because before there was nothing. You all right, Santana? This is your home, too, ese. Power to make every inmate pay rent. And the biggest money-maker, drugs. Oye, Ioco. No, I need to clean up my tab, man. You know, pick up some more shit. The thing is, I gotta get it right away 'cause I'm out. The Aryan Brotherhood and the black guerrilla family shared the yard. But Folsom belonged to us, the oldest clica, La eme. The Mexican mafia. (LOCK buzzing) Hey, Montoya. Homes, I got you at table eight over there. Órale, carnal. Órale. Órale, carnal! How you doing, Paulito? Fine. (speaking spanish) Hi, Mama. How are you? I'm okay. How you doing, little one? Fine. Doing good? Yeah. Drawing the pumpkin man, huh? Yeah. Bus ride is hard for you, isn't it? It's okay, Santana. You know, your father wanted to come see you, but something came up. He couldn't make it. Whatever, Mama. Santana, I brought you something. You know, when Jesus was crucified on the cross, there was a thief named Dismas on the cross next to him. He believed in Jesus and asked him not to forget him when he died. When Jesus died, he took Dismas to heaven and Dismas became a saint. I want you to wear it. Let me see it, Mama. Mi hijo, let's put it on your brother. Okay. Santana. Excuse me, ma'am. You're not supposed to pass items to convicts. But you see what it is. Sorry. That's policy. He can pick this up with the rest of his property you brought for him. You'll wear it, huh? SANTANA: I'll wear it. Don't worry. They'll give it to me later. (SANTANA SPEAKS spanish) I'm okay. (SLIPPIN' INTO DARKNESS playing) SIippin' into darkness Takes my mind beyond the trees (LOCK buzzing) I was slippin' into darkness Yeah Takes my mind Beyond the trees Where I talk to my brothers Oh-oh-oh-oh Who never said their names (SPEAKS spanish) SIippin' into darkness Yeah When I heard my mother say I was slippin' into darkness Órale. When I heard my mother say Hey, what'd she say? What'd she say? You've been slippin' into darkness Oh-oh-oh-oh Pretty soon you're gonna pay Yeah MAN: Cheetah? (SPEAKS spanish) Pie Face. (SPEAKS spanish) SIippin' into darkness MAN 1 : Japo. MAN 2: Órale. (SPEAKS spanish) Takes my mind beyond the trees Hey, homes, you got a visitor. MAN 3: I ain't seeing nobody. Have it your way. (speaking spanish) Órale, pass it on, ese. Pass it on. MAN 4: Hey, vato, pass that wire. MAN 5: Just a minute. Pinche mayate. MAN 4: What the fuck's going on, ese? Pass that wire. Órale, pass the wire! Here you go, man. Here you go. Fuck! COP: Chow release! Let's go. (BELL ringing) Let's go, gentlemen. Chow release. Okay, gentlemen, let's go. Come on, move it. Give him the uppercut. He's going down. (GRUNTlNG) That shit wasn't even clean, man. (SPEAKS spanish) What's your problem? I paid for a full load. Don't worry. We'll take care of business. Don't worry? I'm sick, motherfucker! Make sure he gets what he ordered right now. Simón. Thank you. I fucking appreciate that. Who copped his wire? Some fucking mayate. He's dead. (ALARM blaring) (MEN chattering) Make sure nothing happens to these guards. Órale. (MEN shouting) Steve! (SPEAKS spanish) Órale. They haven't started to kill each other yet. They're still throwing shit. (ALARM buzzing) Come on, motherfucker! That's right, you fucking son of a bitch ! Bring it on, then ! Fuck you, you motherfucker! You motherfucker! MAN 1 : Fuck him up! MAN 2: Come on, kick his ass! Watch your motherfucking ass! Talk to me, baby. Talk to me! Dead dude burned somebody for their stash. Color wasn't involved. You sent the wrong message. We can do this any way you want, Doc. One to one from the chest... Or we can all get down ! Yeah, we can all really fuck this place up! (BELL ringing) I'm not going against the guns. You're gonna lose, Doc. Any move you make, we're on you. You fucked up! (MEN clamoring) You're staying in the hole for as long as it takes to break up your little gang, Santana. (GATE CLOSES) SANTANA: There was nothing the system could do to stop me. I could run this show from solitary. Gracias, carnal. J. D. taking care of business? Simón, ese, but the heat's on. They're trying to break us up. (SPEAKS spanish) Danny's down in Soledad. Stevie's down in Chino and Willie boy's in Vacaville. We need a meeting, keep ourselves together. Any of our people on the outside coming up for trial? Puppet's little brother got busted. Tell our lawyer to subpoena us, get us together in one place. The brothers send their love, carnal. Gracias. SANΤANA: Τhe state is so lame, they paid for the game. There were a couple of things from some of our people who've already gotten out that weren't in sync with instructions I've been getting from inside. Inside runs the show. If there's any problems with that, let us know. I'd like to interview each of you individually. Who wants to go first? Corky. Corky. Santana, how was the bus ride home? Sunshine felt good. This is my brother, ese. They call him "Little Puppet." He's a genius, homes. Don't get carried away, ese. He does the best placas in East L.A. Check it out! (MAN whistling) Nice tits! He had a lightweight jones going and got popped. He's coming up to Folsom. I want him in with us. Can he take care of himself? He don't know nothing, but I'll be responsible for him. You know what you're doing? How you doing on the tecato side? I'm clean now, ese. Thank you for helping us get this meeting together. Yeah, I'd do anything for my carnal. When you come up, if you need anything, let us know. You run into problems, we'll take care of it. Gracias. (SPEAKS spanish) Oye. Órale. Sparky, how're we doing in Vacaville? Going slow, homes. Trying to get it together, but we got a little problem. (speaking spanish) We spent all of our time trying to get it together. Dealing with whites and the mayates, only to be dealing with our own. Órale, carnal. These aren't our own people. They're nothing but lame farmers from up north. They're chicanos. It's too late, homes. They're already too big in Vacaville. And now they're making a play on our shit in Folsom. They gotta pay the bill, ese. Who's carrying all the weight for them? Dude named El Chucko Peña. I know that vato. I know him real well. (speaking spanish) That should make it easier to get next to him, ese. He used to be my crime partner! (speaking spanish) What the fuck is wrong with you, ese? It's cool. SANTANA: Pie Face had left me only one choice. The strength of a gesture, a thought but no voice. (DON'T LET ME BE MISUNDERSTOOD playing) Baby, do you understand me now? Sometimes I feel a little mad Don't you know that no one alive can always be an angel When things go wrong (speaking spanish) I'm just a soul whose intentions are good (speaking spanish) Please don't let me be misunderstood Baby, sometimes I'm so carefree Órale. With a joy that's hard to hide And sometimes it seems that all I have to do is worry ¿ Sabes qué? Little Puppet. Her tits and her ass are too big, ese. (speaking spanish) ChaIe, Ioco. ¿Sabes qué? It looks unnatural, ese. (speaking spanish) I never mean to take it out on you Life has its problems and I get my share And that's one thing I never mean to do Open your eyes, vato. Oh, oh-oh, baby, don't you know I'm human? Have thoughts like any other one Sometimes I find myself alone and regretting Some foolish thing, some sinful thing I've done I'm just a soul whose intentions are good Oh, Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood Yes, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good Oh, Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood SANTANA: I was proud I didn't let my feelings get in the way of doing what we had to do to Pie Face that day. Killing one of our own had earned us a new respect. But none of us knew the price. Little Puppet. Órale, homes. How you doing? All right. That's good, ese. Got a little favor to ask you. All right? Simón. You know that dude, El Chucko? I want you to handle that for us, all right? I'll take care of it, ese. Was I talking to you, ese? Santana? Let me do it. Mi carnalito, that's not his thing. He's not no punk or nothing, but... He's not talking to you. There's something I want you to understand, Little Puppet. What happened to Pie Face, I didn't like it, but it was necessary. Especially right now. Take a look over there, ese. El Chucko and La Nuestra Familia's making their play to get respect, ese. La eme took a long time earning their respect in this place. And if we want to keep it, we gotta show some class. SANTANA: Now I know Pie Face wasn't weak, ese. And you know he wasn't weak, either. But how about other people? How about El Chucko, what'd he think, ese? 'Cause that's what it's about. It's not just about being weak that we can't accept. It's about other people even beginning to think we're showing weakness. It's up to you, you know? (ALL cheering) (MUSIC PLAYING ON SCREEN) (WOODY WOODPECKER LAUGHING) Don't try to serve a summons on me! I'll do it. (CHATTERING) (GRUNTlNG) (GROANS) (GUN firing) Get down ! COP: Get down ! I said get down ! Wipe your face. I got him, ese. I got the vato. You're bleeding, carnal. Hey, the dude had a filero. He cut me, man. What's her name again? Thelma Lou? Cheryl Ann. That's right. And you and Cheryl Ann have a little girl. What's her name? Bonnie. How old is she? Eight. You don't like telling me about your family, do you? No, I guess I don't. I don't blame you. -I got something for you. -Where are you going? Don't shoot me, officer. What the hell are you doing now? -Can I turn on the light? -No. I put it in here to keep it fresh. Can we leave this open to get some light? This is our baby's birthday cake. I don't want any. Suit yourself. It's good. You should try some. Today's his birthday? No. It was in September. I missed it. I left him with Mama before he was two years old. That means I've missed four birthdays so we celebrated all four of them last night. Does your mama know about.... Know what? No, I never told her. I never meant you any trouble, Dale. I still don't. Wouldn't Bonnie be surprised to know she had a half-brother in Nigger Town? You should have some of our baby's cake-- Quit calling him that. Why? That's what he is. Damn it, I told you I didn't want any. -Do you want this? -What are you doing? -This is what you want. -Cut it out. Cut it out, goddamn it! Why did you ever fuck with me? Me and my brother's daddy was white, did you know that? Of course, we never knew him. He had another family. That's why I kind of look white. Because my daddy was white. You figured since I kind of look white, you could fuck me, what the hell. Because I was kind of black you could dump me, what the hell. 211 to 210. 211 to 210. 211 to 210. Dale, where are you at? Hey, June. Juney! How are you doing? You got something for me? Hi, Mr. Charlie. Is this Ronnie? Ronnie, this is Ray. Is Fantasia there? Yeah, Lila. Where is she? Have you got a number out there for her? Give it to me, all right? Ronnie! Ronnie, come here. -Come here. -I got to go. If you know something about Lila being here, you tell these gentlemen. I don't want you being in trouble. No, ma'am. I don't know nothing about that. June Hawkins told me he was out last night digging frogs. Driving back, he saw you driving in front of him with Byron in the car. Where had you and Byron been at 4:00 a.m.? We've been here all night. June's mixed up. He's old. He don't see so well. -I'll make the bastard talk! -He won't talk. It's his sister. Can I speak to the boy? -How are you this morning? -Fine. -Pretty sleepy? -I guess so. -You go out with Uncle Ronnie last night? -No. You sure? -You didn't see a pretty lady? -No. You sure? -Did Uncle Ronnie tell you to say that? -Yeah. So this has just been pretend? What do you say we stop playing pretend and play really? And you really should spend a night in jail. So you can tell your sister. You got to let me go. I can't do that, Lila. You can't let them put me in jail. What's going to happen to our baby with me in jail? Your mom will keep taking care of him. I'll give her money for him. Why won't you give him the money? Why don't you just say, "Byron, I'm your daddy"? I don't see how that would.... I guess it wouldn't be a good idea. I guess it would be better just to put me in jail and forget about your five-year-old son. Hi, baby. Yeah, everything's cool. Everything's real cool. Ray, where are you calling from? What's the name of the gas station? Ray, you missed the turnoff. It's about half a mile back up the highway. You turn right at this place called Cothern's Bait Shop. There's a little road there. You're not far, baby. Just about ten minutes away. Hurry. Yeah, I miss you. Is that the road, Byron? -I don't think so. -You don't think so? When they arrive, get them in the house and away from the car. Open the door, talk to them. Let them see everything is okay. Then stay in the kitchen until I say to come out. Then if they get trigger-happy, you'll be out of the line of fire. Then you'll let me go? I'll let you go. Is that the road you took? Don't go in there fucking around. In and out. You got me? What do you think I'd do? Don't worry. You sure this is it? Yeah. You got it straight? Hi, baby. Come on, Fantasia, let's go. It'll be a few minutes. I have to pack my stuff. What stuff? All you had was your purse. It won't be long. Come on in. Shit! I'll be back. That's bullshit. I'm sticking on your ass. She better not have bought any clothes. What does she have to pack? -Come on. -Be careful. I love you. Did you spend any of my money? Fantasia? Where did she go? Police officers, freeze! Hands up or I'll blow you to fucking hell! -What the fuck? -Get on the floor! Now! Who the fuck are you? -You bitch! -Shut up! Shut up! -Why the fuck did you do this? -I'm sorry. Stay back! 210. 210, A-1 channel 1. Come in, goddamn it. Hurry up. Hurricane, where the hell have you been? I need help out here. What's your 10-20? Oh, God. Dale, what's your 20? Where are you? I'm off the highway, two miles down Sulphur Springs road. There's a house. In the woods, there's this house-- Is there an address? I don't know the goddamn address. Just send some help. And an ambulance. I got three suspects down and I'm hurtpretty bad. -Three suspects down. -You know Sulphur Springs Road? Hold on, Byron. Charlie, do something. Dud, come on! Charlie's taking care of it. Come on! That son of a bitch nailed them. Hey, man. The ambulance is on the way. I'll get you some blankets, okay? Are you dead, mister? Are you dead, mister? -No, not quite. -Where's the lady at? She's over there. Don't go away. Come back. Come stay with me. -Stay here with me. -How did you get blood on yourself? I got in a fight. What do you do with your keys? I lock things up. Come here. I can't see your face. Come a little closer. Your name is Byron. You're five years old. Four or five? Five. Just come sit with me. (DOG BARKING) (DANCE MUSIC DRIFTING OUT) MAN: Party... Nude dancing... (PEOPLE CHATTERING) JACKIE: Who is it? Fantasia. Hey, girl. I thought you were going to Star City. I am, tonight. You bad 'cause you got a camera, huh? Come on, show us. You're messing up my picture with your lousy dancing. JACKIE: Bobby, look who's here. Hey, Bobby. BOBBY: How you doing? I'm fine. BOBBY: Is Ray with you? No. That's good. That's real good. You know you're always welcome here. Bobby's about to blow out the candles on his birthday cake. How old are you, 60? That's your IQ, woman. Oh, no, Bobby. Hey, this is Darren and Danielle. Hey. Hey. Hi. Oh, shit, I left my purse in the car with the door unlocked. I'll be right back. Oh, okay. BOBBY: What's this swinging thing? Everybody get on the goddamn floor and be quiet. What the fuck's going on? Get on the floor, goddamn it! JACKIE: Let go, Ray. (DOOR CLOSING) Down! (MUSIC CUTS OFF) Jackie, honey, just be quiet and everything will be okay. DANIELLE: Bobby! RAY: Where does Marco live? I don't know, Ray. I said, where does he live? I don't know. RAY: Where does he live, goddamn it? JACKIE: I don't know. RAY: How do you get your shit? I said, where does he live, bitch? If we told anybody where Marco lives he'd kill us. Well, what the fuck do you think we're going to do, huh? Leave us the hell alone! Don't hit her like that. Please tell him and everything will be okay. Jackie don't know. I deal with Marco. She don't. Leave her alone and I'll tell you. MARCO: Who is it? It's Bobby, Marco. Bobby? Yeah, I got to get something from you. What I tell you about coming by here so late? I got to get something from you tonight, man. Bobby... Come on in here, man. RAY: This is a pretty woman you got here. Look at those little titties. Ray, what are you doing? Hey, man! I got everything you want on that table over there. There's 200 bucks in the wallet. There's some coke in the kitchen. Take the money and the coke. You know what this is? This is lighter fluid. RAY: Fuck you, man. I don't want no $200. Stop it, man. Put it out, man. Put it out. I'll tell you where the shit is. (SCREAMING) Fuck you, man! Motherfucker. Oh, goddamn. Goddamn. (TELEPHONE RINGING) DARREN ON TV: How many fingers am I holding up? Got it? BOBBY: All right, man. How many fingers am I holding up? BOBBY: I think you've got about a half an hour before you pass out, man. You could be an old man by the way you dance. I'm not an old man. I can outrun both of you guys. Yeah. This guy needs to dance. I can hang. Yeah, I'm going to get your lady, all right. All right. I'm just kidding. Yeah, yeah. All right, Bobby. You going home? Hey, what you doing? DANIELLE: Wait, wait, wait. Right here. I know... What are you... (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) (MUFFLED WHIMPERING) (MUFFLED SCREAMING) (SCREAMING STOPS) Your friend is my girlfriend, okay? She's mine, okay? (LAUGHING) (GASPING) (SNIFFING) (SNIFFING) (SNIFFING) They got a fucking kid. Goddamn it. Come here, motherfucker. Where's your goddamn kid, huh? Fantasia, go look for this fucking kid. We can't leave a kid around here. I already been all over the house, Ray. I don't give a shit. Look for him. He might be hiding. (SNIFFLING) GIRL: Mommy! Mommy! Hey, sweetheart, what's wrong? (SHRIEKING) What is it, baby? It's okay. Daddy's here. What's wrong with her? I think she had a bad dream. I'm going to take her in our room. How are you? Are you okay? Dale, are you coming to bed? Yeah, I'll be right there. DISPATCHER ON RADIO: North of Avenue 200. MAN: Stand back, please. Give us a chance. Stand out of the way, please. (HELICOPTER WHIRRING) We swept that all away. Oh, good. Come on, Dud. Let's get to the wallets. Watch your feet, lieutenant. I'm sorry. I need a name. Okay, let's do this body first. I think this is our stranger. Who we got? John, meet Robert Post. How do you do, Robert? Excuse me, Lieutenant. Watch your feet. We're out of here. JOHN: Isn't that a light in Robert's window? DUD: Yeah. 10:00 in the morning. Oh, fuck. Aw, shit. John! DETECTIVE: You got anything on that tape? DUD: Some background voices. Clear ones? DUD: Not very. DETECTIVE: So how did you ID this Ray Malcolm? DUD: Neighborhood snoop across the street recognized Ray's car parked out front. Did they see him? Mmm-mmm, but she did see a black guy with glasses come out a little while later, get in Ray's car, and split. She didn't even know Ray's last name, but she thought he was staying a couple blocks away with some dopers, so we checked it out. Can you separate it? Mmm-mmm. Not yet. That Ray's package? So who's this black guy? They call him "Pluto." Evidently, he's been hanging with Ray for the last couple of weeks. They say he's from out of town. Pluto. That's it? For now. So who's the girl? Fantasia. Bullshit. Good-looking. Ray's old lady. Here... Listen to this. (TAPE REWINDING) (ELECTRONIC DISTORTED VOICES) What are you... JACKIE: Hey, girl, I thought you were going to... (DISTORTED VOICES) Bobby, look who's here. She said, "I thought you were going to..." What? It sounds like, "I thought you were going to Star City." DUD: And then the other girl says "I am..." Something. Play that again. (DISTORTED) What are you... Hey, girl, I thought you were going to Star City. LILA: I am, tonight. It does sound like Star City. "I thought you were going to Star City." Dud, check this out. Robbery arrest from '79. "In case of emergency, notify..." "Jeremiah Malcolm. "Relationship, Uncle. "Star City, Arkansas." Well, I'll be damned. DALE: Jimmy... Jimmy, you there? JIMMY ON RADIO: Yeah, Dale. Come on back. Yeah, listen, I'm just coming back from the courthouse. I checked the records on Ray Malcolm. He was born here all right, but he hasn't lived here in 20 years, so I'm heading out to the uncle's place right now. I want you to do me a favor. Call Charlie and tell him to come to work early tonight. Tell him I'm going to stay out there waiting in case those folks show up. If they do, man, we're going to be laying for them. Damn, this could be a big one. I'll talk to you later. 10-4. 10-4 and out. DUD: Just give the names of the two suspects. Ray Malcolm and Lane "Pluto" Franklin. Give a description of the girl and say the victims were stabbed to death. How many stab wounds? No, don't mention that, or the hog-tying or the pillowcases. What about the three other victims? Just say they were strangled. And what about the kid? Don't mention the kid. Just say there was a survivor and that we think the suspects fled the state. Might get us some national coverage and make it hard for them to travel. You got to give me something. The press is all over my butt. Okay. Play it up that they're as violent as we've ever seen. Really? Yeah. Thank you. What's the story on this Star City thing? Somebody, come on. Dud? Would it be a wild goose chase if you went down there? We've been lucky so far, and we can tie Ray there. The police chief in Star City said he didn't know of Ray or Fantasia but he thought he'd heard of the uncle and was going to check them out. I'm just waiting for his phone call back. What about an ID on the second suspect? JOHN: They call him "Pluto." His real name is Lane Franklin. He's originally from Chicago. He and Ray got busted about six years ago for another drug rip-off. They did two years together in San Quentin. Prison buddies. DUD: Pluto's a piece of work. IQ 150, college graduate. We think he's the one who did the stabbings. His package indicates that he's very fond of a knife. He's got three priors. And for some reason, he left the videotape playing. Sick son of a bitch. (PHONE RINGING) JOHN: He knew we couldn't lift those prints. He left a calling card. Dud. Cole here. Yeah, put him through. Chief Dixon, this is Dud... Yeah, I'm fine, thank... Put him on the box so we can all hear him. What's his name? Chief Dale Dixon. I'm going to put you on the speaker phone so we can all hear you. We have Chief Jenkins here. DALE: Chief Jenkins? Los Angeles Chief of Police Jenkins? No shit. Wow, it's a pleasure to meet you. Good to meet you, Chief Dixon. What we want to talk about is... They keep you pretty busy out there, don't they, Chief? Sure. You got six people dead out there all at the same time. We don't get that here. Sometimes we get a stabbing. Colored boys, generally. Just like out there. One of them sticks another one over a card game or some shit. Chief Dixon, I think we should discuss... Craps sometimes. You were wanting to know about this boy's uncle. I think we hit the jackpot. The uncle's place is the damnedest hideout I've ever seen. It's out in the woods, northeast of town, over this old rickety bridge. You couldn't find a soul out there if you didn't already know where to look. You boys being from the city, you'd be lost in 10 minutes. But I'll be with you, so you don't have to worry about that. Damn, Bonnie. Excuse me? Oh, nothing. CHERYL ANN: They were out of onion rings so I got you tasty taters. It's L.A., Cheryl Ann. Chief Jenkins and them. Yes, sir? Will this be a promising avenue of investigation? Oh, it's a promising avenue, all right. Me and my deputies can start setting up a surveillance now. Chief Dixon, why don't we hold off on that until we get a game plan? Well, if you say so. JENKINS: Yeah. That would be best. I want to... It's my job, Chief. We're going to get these sons of bitches. I'll be waiting on you. (LAUGHING) RADIO DJ: 73 degrees in downtown Albuquerque. We expect fair skies tomorrow stretching all the way across the southwest. So for you night owls out there, sit back, relax, and enjoy. DALE: Hey, what are you two doing here? When did you guys get back? EARL: Oh, Wednesday night. That's no honeymoon. You should have stayed longer. Well, Earl had to get back to work, and I'm starting a new job next week. What are you going to be doing? Keeping books down at the rice mill. I went down and talked to old man Hosey. He hired me on the spot. You guys take it easy. Take it easy. Dale... Well, that's good. Well, congratulations. Thank you, Dale. We better be going. DALE: Okay-doke. Do you want some of this, baby? (SNORTING) Why don't you put some clothes on? (SNORTING) I told you to put some clothes on. Ray, you know those people are dead. Those people are dead. No shit. And you were there. Don't forget that. I told you to put some goddamned clothes on, didn't I? RAY: You know, we got enough of this shit to last us till 1995. We got enough to last us till we get to Houston. We're not selling all this shit. We're selling it to Billy in Houston. I'm going back to Chicago, man. I don't give a fuck what you do. PLUTO: It don't make no sense riding up and down a road. RAY: What the hell you think is going to happen? We're going to get in trouble? Besides, I was planning on selling some to them country sons of bitches in Arkansas. I don't like this Arkansas shit. We're going to be in and out. We're not building a goddamn house. It's not a problem, Pluto. What you worried about? What the fuck do you think? I don't get you, baby. Why don't you loosen up and have some fun? Why don't you get high with Ray and me? Don't you want to feel good? Yeah, man. This is the biggest thing that ever happened to us. You're just sitting over there like some little brown turd. Goddamn it! You watch yourself, Ray. Listen up, motherfucker. Listen up! This is what's going to happen. We're going to Houston and we're going to sell the shit 'cause this little $15,000 is not going to last. Until then, I'm going to hold on to the blow. And, Ray, I don't want to hear any more bullshit out of you or her. You son of a bitch. Fucking son of a bitch. Why don't you just fucking go to sleep, motherfucker? You know what you forgot? You forgot one fucking thing. You forgot about the goddamn money. I got all the goddamn money, motherfucker. You keep that little $15,000, Ray. He's right, baby. We should sell the stuff in Houston. Think of all that money, huh? We'll be okay, baby. Pluto, he knows people in Chicago. We can live off that money for a long time. Baby, it's going to be okay. We can buy all the blow we want to when we get there and we'll be safe. Pluto will take care of us. We'll be safe, baby. DUD: It's really beautiful, man. JOHN: It's really green as hell. You know, I'm a country boy, John. That's a bunch of crap. You were born in L.A. Mmm-mmm. Malibu. (SIREN WAILING) JOHN: What the fuck? Howdy. Dale Dixon. Welcome to Star City, boys. We've got a full day, so if you'll follow me we'll get you unpacked and get you something to eat. As soon as I saw you drive by, I knew you were the boys from California. (TRUCK HORN HONKING) Cops look the same everywhere, I guess. Follow me. (TIRES SQUEALING) Oh, shit. WAITRESS: That's three scrambled and a cold Bud, whole wheat, sausages. You boys are in for a treat now. Say, Fern, can you bring us some extra biscuits, too? Sure thing, Hurricane. Some more coffee, too, please. She call you Hurricane? Folks call me that. I never have figured out why. I figure we can wait up in the woods. When the bad folks show up, we'll put the stopper in the bottle like that. They'll be sorry they ever heard of Star City. This is good. This is really good. My mother made food like this. Oh, thank you, Fern. How's Walter? He had his gallbladder taken out yesterday. Good for him. I'll give you boys 100% cooperation. Me and my two deputies... We'll take turns watching the place around the clock. So you boys can just take it easy, relax, drink beer, chase chicks, whatever you want. We'll help. Hmm? We'll help you. Suit yourself. Oh, another thing. Old man Malcolm? I guarantee he don't know jack shit about this stuff with his nephew. You talk to him? Not yet. I just know it. There aren't any telephone lines out to that old place. He's like a hermit. Hardly steps foot off his property. We ought to talk to him. That may be the case... DALE: Charlie, get on in here. Charlie's my deputy. Retired police officer. Morning, guys. This is Dud Cole. How are you, Dud? Pleasure. This is Dan Mackintosh. Hi, Dan. John McFeely. Oh, yeah, McFeely. All them "Mac" names sound alike to me. Had breakfast, Charlie? Yeah. Charlie's a goddamn Yankee from Detroit. Listen, Dale, if we talk to this guy and he's involved in this shit... I told you he don't know nothing... Hurricane. Dale, these are dangerous people we're dealing with. Well, I understand that. Well, you boys about ready? Just a second. DALE: Here you go, Fern. Keep the change. There ain't no change here, Hurricane. It's a $12 check. You give me a ten. I'll catch you later. Is he gone? I haven't had a full meal since I met the son of a bitch. 2-10, go ahead, Jimmy. Go over to Harlan Childress'. Lureen said he's raising hell. I'm on a case. Unless he's trying to kill her I don't have time. She said he is. I'm just letting you know. Okay, 10-4. Hop in, boys. We got to make a stop before we head to the Malcolm place. Open this door! Goddamn, Lureen! Harlan! Goddamn it. Harlan! Settle down. Settle down. Harlan, goddamn it. (GLASS SHATTERS) You calm down now. Let go of me. You want to take a ride with me, huh? You want to take a ride with me? He laid out all night drinking, Hurricane. Okay. What are those men doing here? They're not here to take him away, are they? It's okay. She locked me out. I understand. I understand, I understand. Now look, you laid out all night drinking and you knew she was going to do this, didn't you? Yeah. You say you're sorry, I'll bet she'll let you in. LUREEN: He knows I will. We'll go to church on Sunday and he'll feel a whole lot better. You won't let them take him away? It's okay, they're with me. DALE: Now you get up. Pull yourself together. Come on, get up. Now come here. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to put this ax back in the shed. Okay. I don't want to have to come back out here. You're going to be okay? Yeah, I'm okay. All right. Put that ax back, and fix this window. Tell Cheryl Ann and the baby I said "Hi." LUREEN: Tell them "Hi." DALE: Sorry about the window. LUREEN: That's all right. It's okay, boys. Hell, I'm out here twice a week. Whoo! Man. MAN ON RADIO: ♫ I just want to show you 'round ♫ I just want to... Ray. RAY: Motherfucker! RAY: Goddamn it! They know me now. Are you aware of that, bitch? They know my fucking face, my name, probably how long my fucking dick is. That goddamn kid! Why didn't you tell me about that fucking kid? I swear I didn't see any kid. He must have been hiding real good. Quit lying to me! Don't hit me no more. Pluto, don't let him hit me no more. Get rid of her, Ray. It will be okay. Oh, shut the fuck up. We'll get rid of the car. They're not going to find us. They're not going to find you, maybe. They're not going to find us! Get your goddamn hand off me. (SOBBING) We're going to be okay. CHARLIE: Isn't there another way around here, Dale? DALE: Watch your step. There's some rotten timbers up ahead. I crashed my motorcycle on this bridge when I was 14. DUD: Is that right? DALE: They had to call the volunteer fire department to put it out. You can still see some of the burn marks. Perfect hideout. You think the old man's there? Oh, yeah. JOHN: I wonder who else is there. Good, he's by himself. DUD: Dale, wait a minute. It's okay, boys. Come on. Damn. (FLIES BUZZING) DALE: How you doing? Doing all right, huh? Are you doing all right? JEREMIAH: I'm doing all right. That's good. Remember me? I'm Chief Dixon. I'm fixing to do what? I said, I'm Chief Dixon. I'm fixing to feed these chickens before it gets too damn hot. Have you heard from your nephew? Huh? You heard from Ray Malcolm? That's my brother's boy. I reckon I heard of my kin. Has he talked to you? Huh? When did you talk to him last? Talk to who? Ray Malcolm. That's my brother's boy. I got to finish feeding these chickens. It gets hot as hell at noontime. Shit. I hope you and them chickens have a goddamn heatstroke. Huh? DJ ON RADIO: This is Bobby G on 93. Who's on the line? WOMAN: My name is Michelle. Michelle, did you like the song? You think it's going to be a hit? Yes. Should I let it play? You should let it play. Well, there we have it, another vote. Let it play. Can I help you boys? This is Linda. Did you know Linda was a Spanish person? Yes. You did? RAY: How you doing? Let me sit down and talk to you. DUD: The suit wasn't brown when I started. DALE: "I'm fixing to feed these chickens." I say, "Have you heard from Ray Malcolm?" Put that on daddy's plate, sweetheart. And he says, "Ray Malcolm? "That's my brother's boy. "I guess I heard of my own kin." So I said, "You spoke to him?" He says, "Spoke to who?" I said, "Ray Malcolm." He said, "Ray Malcolm? "That's my brother's boy." Can you imagine the conversation when Ray shows up? Want some rolls? Yes, ma'am. Is this great or what? DUD: This looks great, Cheryl Ann. There you go. I hope to hell he does show his heinie up there 'cause I got news for you. That white trash and them two niggers... Ow! That stung, Cheryl Ann. You nearly broke my Le... Bonnie, pass me them pickles, will you? JOHN: I never got any beans. Can I get some now, please? Mmm-hmm. Did you think I was going to cut you, honey? I wouldn't hurt you for anything in the world. You know that. Here. I'm glad you didn't kill that man in the car lot. What do you think we are? No, fuck all that, Dale. It don't mean nothing. What I'm concerned about is that we left ourselves so goddamn exposed... So, um, so just out there. Anybody could tell that old man wasn't... You can't assume anything about anybody in a case like this. That's the guy that's going to fuck you. Damn right. Shit. I been police chief here for, hell, going on, uh, six years. I never even had to draw my gun. Good night, you. Can you kiss your favorite mommy? Get in the bed. Get in there. Get in the bed. See you in the morning, okay? Good night, mommy. Night. Enjoying yourself? Getting enough to eat and drink? Well, just about. That's your second bottle, isn't it? Yes, it is. I want to apologize about Dale's comment. Bet John feels terrible. Dale didn't mean anything by it. He just grew up talking that way. Well, I understand, and I'm... I'm sure John does too. These people are pretty dangerous, aren't they? Yes, ma'am, they are. You know, I've never seen Dale this excited before. I guess this is about the biggest thing that's ever happened to him. This case, I mean. He really likes you and John. I can tell. Think he looks at y'all like you're some kind of heroes or something. Well, we're... We're far from that. You might want to tell him that then, if you know what I mean. I've got a little girl in there who needs her daddy. Dale doesn't know any better. He watches TV. I read nonfiction. Well, hey. Hey. Hey, John, what do you say we head back? Oh, no, come on, guys. The night is young. Y'all want some cookies? We all do. No, we wouldn't dare try. Very serious meal. They're in here. I got to go pee. Pee off the porch. Yeah. Shit. You know, Dale... This whole case is our problem. I mean, what I'm saying is, you can be as involved, or uninvolved, in the actual apprehension of these guys as you want. Assuming they show up. Well, if they do, I'll be there. You got a nice spot here. Nice house, nice family. You're a lucky guy. Well, sir, I guess I am a lucky guy at that. You know, I hardly ever lose a coin toss. Go to the horse races in Hot Springs, bet on a long shot. Damn if the son of a bitch doesn't come in. My mom used to always tell me I was born under a lucky star. CASHIER: What you got there? WOMAN: A couple rolls of film. Baby, there's an article in here about Julia from Dark Memories. That ain't Julia. That's that damn twin sister... With her evil self. No, it's not. Can you tell him who this is? That's Julia on Dark Memories. Mmm-hmm. Told you. Got any maps of Houston? We don't need no damn map of Houston. PLUTO: Be cool, Ray, be cool. CASHIER: Good, Bill. How are you? BILL: It's real quiet out there. We got the two most exciting jobs in town. (MICROWAVE BEEPING) LILA: Your other burrito's ready, baby. He's watching me. He knows who I am. No, he doesn't. Yeah, he does. Baby... Let's go. Listen, you back up. Just back up. BILL: Is that right? Ray. Ray, stop it. Stop it. Shit. (CAR DRIVING BY) You'll never get me up on a horse. (WHISPERING) Ray, stop it. Get your hand off of me. No. Let's go. Come on. Let's go. Let's go, okay? Don't fuck up, man. BILL: My cousin was in a cast for two months because of that. Come on. I figure, why should I break a leg? I'll just do it in the car. CASHIER: I'll be right back. Will that be all for you? That's it. I hope you don't mind that we opened things up. Long as you pay for them. Not planning on drinking that beer and driving, are you? LILA: No. No. We wouldn't do that. This is for later. Just kidding. CASHIER: $7.95, please. Y'all have a nice night. Y'all too. She's too young for you, Bill. I like them young. Shit! That trooper's behind us, man. Don't look back. Just be cool. What do we do if he pulls us over? He ain't going to pull us over. Slow down, Ray. Don't panic. He recognized me back there, man. I know he did. If he did, he would have arrested you. He was just looking us over. White boy and a nigger girl in Texas, that's all it is. Right now he's probably running our plates. FEMALE RADIO DISPATCHER: 5-42. 5-42, go ahead. On your out-of-state plate, New Mexico license number Nora Edward 2-4-5. Apparently the vehicle is recently purchased. There are no warrants and there's no current registration available. 10-4. Could you check the teletype boards for the last couple of days? Seem to recall a teletype from California. A male and female black, and a male white wanted for a couple of murders. Speed up, Ray. You'll make him suspicious. Speed up, slow down... Make up your fucking mind! Have you found that teletype yet? Still looking, 5-42. 10-4. 5-42. I'm going to go ahead and pull them on over. (SIREN WAILING) RAY: Fuck! What are we going to do? I'll blow his goddamn head off. PLUTO: We're gonna pull over. We're going to be cool. We're going to play it by ear. We're not going to kill him unless we have to. (SIREN WAILS) We're not going to be stupid. See your license and registration? Hi. It's you again. You've got a California license, and New Mexico plates and registration. We had California plates, but our car broke down in New Mexico, so we had to get a new car. I told you it wouldn't make it, Ray. But he wouldn't listen to me. This one will make it. Make it where? Philadelphia. My mother lives there. She's sick. Ray is my boyfriend, so he got stuck with the job of taking me there. Richard's our friend. He's just along for the ride. Uh... We weren't speeding or anything, were we? No, ma'am. What the fuck did you stop us for then? I want you to get out of the car one at a time. You first, ma'am. Get your hands up. Hey, calm down. You said "Get out, you first, man," right? Step around to the rear of the car, and keep your hands where I can see them. You said "Get out of the car." That's all I'm doing. What's wrong with you? You told us to get out. Ray, do what the man says. Stay where you are, ma'am. Now you put your hands on the car. Spread them out. Now spread your legs. Okay, same thing. Hands on the car. Spread your legs. Okay, ma'am, I need you back here too. RAY: Hey, why don't you just tell us what we did, all right? BILL: Keep your hands on the car! All right. Okay, now, ma'am... (GUNSHOT) Damn, goddamn right! Yes, baby, yes, you motherfucker! Let's go. Get into the car. Come on, now. You motherfucker! (TIRES SQUEALING) Hey Pluto, man, we're going the wrong goddamn way, man. We're going back toward town. Turn the goddamn car around. Did I kill that man back there? Yes, baby, but you did a good job, don't worry about it. I think I killed that man. Pluto, what the fuck are you doing, man? We're going the wrong goddamn way. Turn the fucking car around. PLUTO: The car's been ID'd. The car's been ID'd, right? So we got to get rid of it. Yes, you killed him, goddamn it! You killed him. Would you fucking turn the car around? It will be stolen before the cops know. We're going the wrong fucking way. Then we go to a used car lot and get another car. Then we're gonna pass the motherfuckers, don't you understand that? Yeah. Shut up, Ray. We're gonna pass the cops. They're gonna see us. Ray, we got no fucking choice! We head out of town, they gonna catch us. Just shut the fuck up. Morning. BOTH: Morning. How are you boys? DUD: I got a hangover... JOHN: What do we got? Nothing. Quiet as a Sunday morning. What time did you get here? Oh, hell, I came in and relieved Charlie around 4:00. Y'all want some coffee? No thanks. No. Hey, Dud. Listen, I was thinking about what you was talking about last night. And, well, I can understand now why you're pissed off. I wasn't pissed off, exactly. No, no, no, it's okay, you're right, I mean, hell. If that old man hadn't been as deaf as a post, I could have blown the whole case. Well, I don't know. There's two sides to that. I made a mistake. Look, you know more about this sort of thing than I do. I don't want you thinking that we're incompetent down here in Star City. Let me tell you, Dale, you got the energy and dedication of 10 cops. No shit? No shit. Say, Dud. Let me ask you about something else I was thinking about, and if I'm full of shit, you just tell me, all right? All right. Well, sir, I've been thinking about moving to L.A. and joining up. Joining up with what? Police department. Been on the force down here ever since I was grown. Hell, after 10 years of busting peeping Toms and stop sign runners, I'd kind of like to take a crack at the big time. Now I realize that getting on the force out there is no walk in the park, but, well, I figure after we wrap up this big case here, and with your recommendation... Well, who knows, you know? I think you and me and Mackintosh can make a hell of a team. That's, um... That's an interesting idea. Well? How you doing, Hurricane? Hi, Larry. Hey Dud, this is Larry Gibson. He's our local Smokey. Larry, this is Dud Cole. He's from L.A. How are you? Hi, good. Last night some folks killed a Texas state trooper in Odessa. Says here they got reason to believe they're headed for Houston. Seems to me they just may fit the description of the folks you boys are after. Son of a bitch. Think we may even have a photograph of them. They ran out of a convenience store earlier. Surveillance camera? Yeah, I think so. Texas. Looks like they're headed our way, boys. Hey, you got another cup? Sure, if you don't mind drinking after me. No, not at all. Goddamn. Texas. Whew. You think it was our people who whacked that state trooper? We'll know as soon as we get the photo. Hurricane... He's waiting on the bad guys the way a kid waits for Christmas. Yeah, well, Hurricane's a force of nature. I like old Hurricane. Nice fellow. You know what he told me this morning? What? He said he was thinking of coming to L.A. and joining the force. You're kidding. Honest to God. He said that he thought me and him and Mackintosh would make a hell of a team. No shit. (LAUGHING) He said he wanted to take a crack at the big time. Jesus. What did you say? I told him that it was an interesting idea. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. (SNICKERING) JOHN: Can you imagine that motherfucker roaming around Parker center? (LAUGHING) DUD: He'd put a stopper in the bottle. (BOTH LAUGHING LOUDLY) That yokel wouldn't last 10 minutes. Put a stopper in the bottle. (LAUGHING) FERN: Hurricane, what are you doing back there? You know no one's supposed to be back there. Just getting a candy bar, Fern. You going to pay for it this time? Hi, boys. I saw your car parked out front. Charlie come to relieve me about a half hour ago. Dud? I didn't mean to put you on the spot this morning. (RADIO SQUAWKS) Listen, Dale, we didn't mean... Oh, that's me. Yeah, this is 2-10, go ahead. LARRY: Hurricane, I just got back from Little Rock with that picture. 10-4. That's us. You leave it? Yeah. Jimmy, you got it? Yeah. DUD: That's Ray. JOHN: So that's got to be our mystery girl, Fantasia. Her name's not Fantasia. It's Lila Walker. Hey, Pluto. What's happening, man? How you doing, Beaver? Uh... They're cool. Well, come on in. Come on in. Go ahead. (DOOR LOCKING) This is Fantasia and that's Ray. That's Joey, and the whining one there on the couch is Kim. She had a couple teeth yanked out. Fuck you, Beaver. Why don't you grab yourself a chair? (SNORTING) You want to sit down? No, that's all right. I'm fine. So, where's this multitude of coke? Where's Billy? He ain't here. I can see that, but where is he? Well, he's still in New Orleans. PLUTO: New Orleans. Well, when's he going to be here? Tomorrow night. He didn't tell me that when I spoke to him. Well, he got hung up. And he didn't know he was going to get hung up when he talked to you on the phone. (SIGHING) Well, we'll wait for him. We can't do that, we can't wait, we got to go. No. We'll wait till tomorrow. We'll stay here. Pluto, I don't think that's such a good idea. We don't have much room, and, uh... (CRACKING KNUCKLES) Yeah, man. What the fuck, man. You know, you can, uh, you can have my room. I've slept on the couch before. Fuck you, Beaver. I'm not moving. Give me the phone. I swear to God, sometimes I don't think you got a fucking brain in your head. Ray, I'm going to Star City. The only reason why I got involved in this shit was because you promised me we'd get some money, that I could go home and see my people. Yeah, well, that's before all this shit happened, wasn't it? It's about time we got where we're going. I don't see what the problem is. All y'all got to do is come through and pick me up. It's on the way. RAY: You know goddamn well that Pluto's not going to do that, don't you? You heard what the man said. I think it's a good idea. If she goes ahead of us, it will be safer to travel. We won't fit the description so easily. No problem. Ain't that some shit. You going to be able to make it a whole day without me, baby? I don't know. DALE: Looks to me like just her brother and her mom is there. DUD: What kind of people are they? Good people. Christian people. I can't believe she got mixed up in shit like this. Hurricane, I'm still unclear how you know this Lila Walker. Well, sir, I arrested her for shoplifting once. She was just a kid in high school. All she took was some lipstick and... You know that shit they put on their eyes. Wasn't worth 10 bucks. I could tell right off she wasn't bad. Just sort of high-spirited. So I decided to try to help her out. You know, talk to her. Then one day she just up and disappeared. Somebody said she'd decided to take off for Hollywood, become a movie star. Anyway, that was about, oh, five years ago. That's the last I heard of her till now. She's come a long way from ripping off lipstick. I don't believe she killed anybody. I mean, that kid in the closet, she opens the door, sees him, then closes the damn door. That proves she's not a killer. Pardon me, Hurricane, but that don't prove shit. DUD: So? JOHN: So, do we talk to the mother? What if she tips off Lila? She wouldn't do that. She wouldn't do that, not Lila. Have you heard from Lila? No, I haven't, not since last summer. Sometime around June, July. Mr. Dixon, you know Lila, you know she wouldn't do what they're saying she did. They must have kidnapped her, brainwashed her. Miss Walker, some of the best policemen in this country are after Lila and those other two fellas. Now, they're going to catch them too. It will go a lot better for Lila if she turns herself in. Chief Dixon is right, ma'am. I can't make any promises, but if your daughter cooperates with us, that will be taken into account later. I haven't heard from her. But if I do, I'll tell her what you said. Ronnie, you heard from your sister? No, sir. Would you tell us if you had? Yes, sir. Grandma... I'm hungry. MRS. WALKER: Byron, don't bother us now, honey. JOHN: Who's that? That's Lila's boy. Didn't you know Lila had a boy? And he's a pretty boy too. Thanks for your time. That's all we need for now. You know, I don't think they're going to Jeremiah's at all. Me either. Fantasia's coming home to see her kid. Hey, Hurricane, just how well do you know this gal anyway? What do you mean? You know what I mean. Ha, ha, that's real fucking funny. Fuck. Goddamn her. Ronnie. Lila. Why, look at you. You've gone to Hollywood. Look at you. You're all grown up. Stand back, let me have a look at you, girl. Yeah, you're still ugly. I'm just playing. You look fine. You know what, I'm feeling fine. I'm going to go see my baby. I'm going home. You can't go home, Lila. The cops are after you. What did they say? Get in the car. You know, I didn't do the things they say I did. Yeah, I know that. Being on the run makes you look guilty. I already look guilty. And looking guilty's being guilty for black people. You know that. I won't get a fair trial. I'm not going to no prison. Lila, Chief Dixon said the cops that are after you... Dale Dixon? Yeah. He was the one that was by the house. You used to know him, didn't you? Yeah, I used to know him. Ronnie, I didn't come all this way not to see my baby. Now, they'll be watching our house. So you got to take me someplace outside of town. Oh, Lila. And then tonight you're gonna have to bring my baby out to see me. And then tomorrow I'll be gone. Ronnie, please. I'm your sister. I need your help. Okay, Lila. Okay. RONNIE: A friend of mine's grand-mamma died a couple of months ago. She had a house off the highway past the bait shop. There's no one living there now. I'm going to be out there all night, honey, so don't wait up for me. Are Dud and John going to be with you? No, they're not gonna be with me. We don't need 19 goddamn people in a car to watch a house. I don't mean you're incapable of watching the house. Hey, just 'cause I'm not from L.A. don't mean I can't watch a goddamn house. Okay? Okay. Hey. Hey. I love you, okay? You know that, don't you? I know that. And I love that little girl in that room more than anything in this world. I know that too. Come on. (CAR DOOR CLOSING) (ENGINE STARTING) BILLY: Hey, I would give you every dime we talked about, if I had the money. The problem is I just don't have it. Your partner here is starting to make me nervous. Why don't you sit your narrow ass down, ponytail? Look, I know you guys are on the run. And you need everything you can get. It's better than nothing, right? Let's lighten up. Look, this town is hot, and so are you, brother. You fucked up. You're on every goddamn channel. You got no one else out there you can trust but me. And I'm gonna let you walk with one. What I'm telling you is take it or leave it... (GROANING) Fucker. Eight fucking dollars. Liar! Ugh! (EMPTY CLICKING) Hey, wait a minute, he's got to have more money than that. Let's go. Pull over to the edge of town, man. We're splitting up. What are you talking about? Look, just pull over, man. Everything's fucked up. I'll give you your half of the coke, you give me my half of the money, and then I'm gone. That's bullshit, man, I ain't doing that. Ray, don't fuck with me, just give me my money. I said I can't do that, man. I don't have any money. Say what? I said I don't have any money. Where's my fucking money, Ray? I said I ain't got any money, man! She took the fucking money, all right? I've got 56 fucking dollars. Now let go of me before I have a wreck. You're a pussy-whipped motherfucker, man. Now don't throw that shit on me, man. That's your fucking buddies back there didn't have any goddamn money. That good friend of yours, Billy, man. What the fuck am I doing with you? You're a pussy-whipped, sorry-ass motherfucker! Goddamn. Hey, look, if you want any money, you're going to have to go to Arkansas. RONNIE: Come on, Lila, we got to go. LILA: I know. Just give me a few minutes with him, okay? Come on, Lila, it's almost 4:00 in the morning. LILA: It's time for you to go home and go to bed, okay? BYRON: Okay. LILA: I love you, honey. You going to be a good boy? BYRON: Yeah. Give me a kiss good-bye. RONNIE: Come on, Lila. BYRON: Goodbye. Take care of my baby, okay? You going to be all right? Yeah, I'm all right. Ronnie, put the money in the bank, okay? Ronnie? Put the money in the bank, okay? (WATER RUNNING) Lila? Dale. How you doing, baby? Stop right there. Turn around. Turn around. Put your hands on the counter where I can see them. And spread your legs. Simon says. Can I turn around now? Why don't you just stay like that? Where are your two pals? Ray and Pluto? They'll be here soon. How soon is that? I don't know. They have to call first. How do I know you're not lying to me right now? How do I know they're not going to show up here any minute? I'm not lying to you, Dale. What are you going to do with me? Go on. Get in the other room. Go on. Go on in the living room. What are you doing? Sit down. No! What are you doing? There's some fellows from L.A. that want to meet you, Lila. Dale, put the phone down. Why should I do that? 'Cause Ray and Pluto are gonna be calling out here to see if everything is cool. And I'm not going to answer the phone if you call those cops out. Oh, yes, you are. I won't. Goddamn it! Lila, even if I wanted to, I can't help you. I don't have the legal authority. You didn't have the legal authority to fuck me when I was 17 years old, but that didn't stop you then, did it? Yeah, that's right. Instead of sitting out there spying on me all night, why didn't you just come in here and say hello to your son? He's not my kid. Not your kid? He's nearly as white as you are. That don't prove nothing. You're calling me a whore? Dale... I was a virgin when we met, and you know it. (BIRD SINGING) Hear the whippoorwill? Remember what you told me about when you hear a whippoorwill? It means somebody's going to die. How come we got to sit here in the dark like this? Because I don't want to be a sitting duck if they show up out there. I told you they won't be here until they call. Where you going? To get my cigarettes. They're in my purse. You can have one of mine. I smoke menthol, baby. You know that. I'll get them. I forgot that thing was even in there, baby. Ray gave me that for protection. I don't even know how it works. You pull the damn trigger. Dale, what are you looking at me like this for? What, did you think I was going to shoot you or something? That's crazy. Now can I have my cigarettes, please? Can I have a light, baby? (WHIPPOORWILL SINGS) So... Does that wife of yours treat you right? Yeah, Lila, she does. That's good. What's her name again? Thelma Lou? Cheryl Ann. Oh, that's right. And you and Cheryl Ann have a little girl. What's her name? Bonnie. How old is she? Eight. You don't like talking with me about your family, do you? No, Lila, I don't guess I do. I don't blame you. I got something for you. Where you going? Don't shoot me, officer. DALE: What the hell are you doing now? Can I turn on the light? No. I put it in here so it wouldn't get stale. Can we leave this open so we can have some light? This is our baby's birthday cake. Here you go. I don't want any. Suit yourself. It's good. You should try some. Today's his birthday? No. It's in September. I missed it. I left him with mama before he was two years old. So that means I've missed four of his birthdays. So we celebrated all four of them last night. Does your mama know about... Know what? No, I never told her. I never meant you any trouble, Dale. I still don't. I bet Bonnie would be surprised if she knew she had a half-brother over in nigger town, though. You know, you really should have some of our baby's cake. Quit calling him that. Why? That's what he is. Here. Goddamn it! I told you I don't want any. This what you want? What are you doing? This is what you want, isn't it? Come on, cut it out. Cut it out. Cut it out! Goddamn it! Why did you ever fuck with me? Me and my brother's daddy was white, did you know that? Of course, we never knew him. He had another family. But that's why I kind of look white. Because my daddy was white. And I guess you figured since I kind of look white, you can fuck me. What the hell. And because I was kind of black, you think you can dump me. What the hell. 2-11 to 2-10. 2-11 to 2-10. 2-11 to 2-10. Dale, where you at? (HARMONICA PLAYING) Hey, June! Junie! How you doing? You got something for me? How you doing, Mr. Charlie? Hello, is this Ronnie? Ronnie, this is Ray. Listen, is Fantasia there? Yeah, Lila. Where is she? Well, have you got a number out there for her? Yeah, listen, give it to me, all right? Yeah. Ronnie? Ronnie, come here. Ma'am? Come here. I got to go. Ronnie, now, if you know something about Lila being here, you tell these gentlemen. Your sister's in trouble, but I don't want you being in trouble. No, ma'am. I don't know nothing about that. Ronnie, June Hawkins down the street just told me he was out most of the night digging frogs south of town. When he was driving back, he saw you driving along in front him, and Byron, he was with you. Now, where had you and Byron been at 4:00 in the morning? We'd been here all night. June's mixed up, he's getting old, he don't see very well. Lying son of a bitch! I'll make him talk. He's not gonna talk. It's his sister. Can I speak to the boy? How are you this morning, Byron? Just fine. Pretty sleepy? Yeah, I guess so. Did you go stay someplace with your uncle Ronnie last night? No. You sure? Yeah. You didn't see a lady, a pretty lady? No. You sure? Yeah. Did your uncle Ronnie tell you to say that? Yeah. So this has just been pretend? Yeah. What do you say we stop playing pretend and play really? Okay. And I think you really ought to spend a night or two in jail, so you don't tell your sister. Dale... You got to let me go. I can't do that, Lila. You can't let them put me in jail. What's going to happen to our baby, with me in jail? Your mom will keep taking care of him. I'll start giving her money for him. Why don't you just give him the money? Why... Why don't you just say, "Byron, I'm your daddy?" Huh? I don't see how that would... Yeah, I guess that wouldn't be a good idea, would it? I guess that it would be better to just go on and put me in jail, and forget about your 5-year-old son. (PHONE RINGING) Hello? Hi, baby. Yeah, everything's cool. Yeah, everything's real cool. Uh, where are you calling from? Okay, what's the name of the gas station? Mmm-hmm. Ray, you already missed the turnoff. It's about half a mile back up the highway. Mmm-hmm. Uh, there's... You turn right at this place called "Cothern's Bait Shop." Yeah, there's a little road there. Yeah, you're not far, baby. Just about 10 minutes away. Hurry. Yeah, I miss you. (ENGINE STARTING) Is that the road, Byron? I don't think so. You don't think so? Lila, when they get here, I want you to get them inside the house and away from the car. Open the door, wave at them, talk to them, just let them see everything's okay. I want you to go back in the kitchen and stay there till I tell you to come out. That way, in case they get trigger-happy, you'll be out of the line of fire. And then you'll let me go? I'll let you go. (PLAYING HARMONICA) Byron, is that the road you went down? Look, don't go in there fucking around. In and out, you got me? Now what do you think I'm going to do? Don't worry about it, all right? You sure this is it? Yeah. (WATER RUNNING) (CAR APPROACHING) You got it straight? You got it straight? Yeah. Hi, baby. Come on, Fantasia, let's go. It'll be a few minutes, Ray. I got to pack my stuff up. What the hell are you going to pack? All you had was that little old goddamn purse. It won't be long, you all come on in. Shit. I'm going to be right back. That's bullshit. I'm sticking on your ass. Man, she better not have bought any fucking clothes. How much she got to pack? Come on, come on. Be careful, honey, I love you. Spending my damn money. Fantasia? Fantasia? Police Officer! Freeze! Get your hands up! Goddammit! I'll blow your fucking head off! What the fuck is this? Shut up! Get on the floor, get on the goddamn floor now! Now! Who the fuck are you? Goddammit, you fucking bitch! Shut up! Shut up! What the fuck did you do this for, huh? I'm sorry, baby. DALE: Lila, stay back! (GRUNTING) LILA: Oh, no! (GUNSHOT) LILA: No! (GUNSHOT) (GROANING) (LILA SHRIEKING) LILA: No! (GUNSHOT) (GUNSHOTS) (YELLING) (GUNSHOT) (GROANING) (GRUNTING) 2-10... 2-10, anyone, channel one, come in, goddamn it, hurry up. JIMMY: Hurricane, where in the hell you been? What's going on? I need help out here. What's your 10-20? Oh, God. Dale, what's your 20? Where are you? I'm on off the highway, two miles, down Sulphur Springs road. There's a house in there, in the woods... There's this house... Is there an address? Goddamn it, Jimmy, I don't know if there's a goddamn address. Just get some help out here and an ambulance. I got three suspects down and I'm hurting pretty bad. Three suspects down. Sulphur Springs road. Do you know where that is, Charlie? Yeah. Hold on tight. (SIREN WAILING) Oh, sweet Jesus. Dale! Charlie, do something. Oh, shit. Dud, Dud, come on! Charlie's taking care of it. Come on, come on! Dale, Dale... Dale! CHARLIE: This is 2-11 to base, 2-11 to base. I need an ambulance out here on Sulphur Springs road right away. That son of a bitch nailed him. Yeah. Dale? Hey, man, hey. Hang in there. I've got an ambulance on the way. I'm going to run in the house and get you some blankets, okay? Are you dead, mister? Hmm? Are you dead, mister? No, not quite. Where's the lady at? She's over there. Don't go away, come back. Come back here and stay with me. Yeah. Just stay here with me. How did you get the blood on yourself? I got in a fight. (GROANING) What do you do with your keys? Oh... I lock things up. Come here. I can't see your face. - You went home with that guy? - Uh, is that fair? - Did you sleep with him? That's all I want to know. Uh, you don't actually want to know. I was gonna talk to Michelle. I was gonna... You know what? Forget it. - What? Chad! Don't... - Don't call me, all right? Oh. So last night was about making someone else jealous. - I don't know. - Well, it obviously worked. You almost have to love the irony. You're where I was a few months ago. You ended things with me, Scotty. Now you know how hard it is to love someone who doesn't love himself. I feel sorry for you. Good luck, Kevin. It's just a travesty. I mean, what has this city come to when the police are arresting two little old... two mature women, and throwing them in jail for the night? Maybe if you had shown some maturity and not resisted arrest... I never resisted... No one ever re... Wouldn't my tax dollars be better spent arresting drug dealers or bangers? Gang bangers. Maybe you shouldn't be so judgmental now that you have a record. Any chance of you not telling your siblings about this? - Mm... Not a big chance, no. - Sarah, please. In the name of all that's holy. I am the one who bought you your first bra. I'm not above playing the guilt card. Sorry, Mom. - Who'd you tell? - Come on, Mom! You spent a night in jail for smoking pot. This family should have a Bat-Signal for things that good. Don't worry about it. If I were you, I would be trying to live great stories. You've had too much responsibility for too long. Yeah. I know. Being good for this family has been my sole purpose of existence for as long as I can remember. I don't know. Maybe it's the residual cannabis talking, but what is the meaning of life supposed to be the rest of my life? To enjoy it. However you want. Mom, you don't have to worry about being good. You should just be worried about having fun. You might want to draw the line at things that get you arrested. Yeah. Well, if it's all right with you, I am gonna take a shower for about an hour. - Here. - Thank you for picking me up. Of course, Mom. I know you'd do the same for me. Sorry. Oh, that jail had a particular smell. - Like lilacs dipped in urine. - Nice. - Yeah! - Oh, no. This is the best day of my life. Who knew you were the black sheep of the family? - Can we talk? - Sure. - I'm proud. - Shut up. - Give me a high-five, Mom. - No! God. - So, what's up? - I just wanted to give you a heads-up. Holly's going to the board to try to overturn your decision - not to counter on the vineyard. - That woman is a nut job. I'm backing her play. You're what? I think the opportunity's right, the investment is right and I think it's what Dad wanted. I'm voting with Holly. - What happens now? - We go downstairs. Then what? I'm going to my office, check my e-mail. Do whatever you want. - About you and me. - I just covered that. Office, e-mail... I mean, if you don't think that this is going to work, then I understand. I mean, if it's too complicated for you, and your kids and your divorce and your... And not to mention your presidential bid. We can honestly just pretend that last night never happened. I mean, no. Not that it wasn't memorable... I mean, it was. It was... You know, it was great. But... But if you don't think this will definitely work, you're probably right. Well, there's just one problem. I like you. Oh! Great! You like me. So, what does that mean? We get to hold hands at Cindy Burke's Roller Rink party? No, I was thinking maybe dinner. Maybe sushi. I don't rent out entire restaurants, unlike some people. Oh, no. He... Actually, he owns it. My point being... People are gonna see us, Kitty. And I want you to know that I won't be caring. Previously on Brothers and Sisters: You're gonna buy my interest in Ojai Foods. Holly and I are going to take the proceeds from the sale of the stock and buy Greendale Winery. Sex will replace my drug addiction with... After rehab you're sworn to celibacy? Yeah. Kind of. I gotta go. You're looking for something. I'm not enough! Am I enough for you? Are you running for president? Yes I am, Ms. Walker. Dad, he had another kid. With Holly. - Does Mom know about this? - No! And Kevin, she never will. - You told your sister about us? - That we're friends. - It's fine. Don't worry. - We got to be careful. Prodigal daughter returns. Thought it'd be a nice surprise. Oh, my God. Hey. Do you know what this editorial is about? That one reason Whitmore's candidacy is a stretch is because his daughter's too fat to be first daughter. She's 13. You're right. That's awful. I mean, my children are going through a divorce. They need time. They don't need to be judged by the national media or anyone. And not to mention... Oh, no. No, no. No way. I'm not gonna be a factor in that decision. You know that there's no way for us to have a normal relationship. - You can forget about it, right? - OK. There is a personal cost when you run for president. But as far as we're concerned, there's no reason why you and I can't be a normal couple. How? Well, uh, for starters, we could try and sleep in a little bit. - Is that what normal couples do? - Mm-hmm. What about this? Yeah. Yeah, that's normal. - That cannot be good thing. - No, no. It's gearing up. - Just give it a few minutes. - Wow, Holly. It sounds like it's in its final death throes. No, no. That's impossible. It's brand new. No. My condolences. Maybe we better read the manual. - OK. - How's your Italian? L.A. Sucks. I spent one hour on the 110 and I missed breakfast with Caitlin. Sorry, I didn't realize you had a guest. No, it's fine. Saul, this is my daughter Rebecca. - Saul and I work together at Ojai. - Oh. Yeah, it's so nice to meet you, Rebecca. Your mother never said that you were so lovely. I guess Mom doesn't talk about me much, because I doubt she'd use the word "lovely". Becca, that was a compliment. Say thank you. - Thank you. - You're welcome. - Is there any cereal left? - Uh, yeah. Try the top shelf. Well, I didn't realize it was getting to be so late. It's very nice to meet you, Rebecca. - Bye. - Bye. We'll talk more at the office. Sorry about interrupting the mid-morning booty call. Maybe you should put a sock on the door. Saul was just helping me with the coffee machine. Is that what the senior set is calling it these days? Yes, we are seeing each other, if that's what you mean. At least that embarrassing little run-in clarified some things. The sudden windfall, the winery, the Maserati, the expensive housewares. No. Saul has nothing to do with any of that. - Right. - Rebecca, I told you the truth. A close friend died and left me some money. This is a good thing, Becca. I mean, you can go back to college if you want. You can take classes. Writing, photography. You can travel if you want. The point is, we have options. Why can't you be happy? I would be happier if we had coffee. OK. No. We swore for the sake of our sisterhood that we would never, ever ask each other to double date again. Oh, come on, Sarah. We were 19 years old. That is ancient history and besides, I already told Robert that you would come. It's "Robert" now. I have seen the birthmark on his butt, so we're on a first name basis. Would you just come on? Lt'll be fun. One thing Joe and I are not at the moment is fun. I'd say we're downright gloomy. Well, shake it up. Get out. Yeah, right. Um... Intensive couples counseling didn't work, but a good dinner out, that'll fix everything. I know you and Joe have been having a hard time. If I honestly believed staying home was going to help, - I'd drop it. - There's a problem. OK, listen. Fine. But if it's a complete disaster, don't say I didn't tell you. What's the problem? - It's your sister. - I just got off the phone with her. Not Kitty. - What do you mean you knew? - I ran into her at Holly's house. You didn't think it was worth mentioning? - I didn't think you wanted to hear it. - You were right. - Well, what was she like? - I don't know. She... She seemed fine. How long is she staying? If this is just a visit, drop it. It's not just a visit. She dropped out of college and was living with a friend. When that didn't work out, she moved back home. Indefinitely. Sounds like Holly raised a real winner. Despite your opinion of Holly or Rebecca, the question remains, what are we going to do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not with everything that's been going on here. - What's that supposed to mean? - What I mean, Tommy, is do you think this business with Holly can go on if Mom finds out about Rebecca? This is exactly why I didn't want to say anything. Holly is working here. What if Nora runs into Rebecca? What if your mother asks questions? I say we tell her. I can't believe I'm hearing this from you, Saul. Mom finding out now will destroy her. You're in a relationship with Holly. How long can that last if this whole thing blows up? We all have things at stake, Sarah. If it's out in the open we have a chance to diffuse it. Saul, Rebecca's lived in this city most of her life. It hasn't affected any of us. Justin and Kitty don't know she exists. That's another thing. Justin's out of rehab. Are we going to throw this at him? Right. If your mother found out we were keeping this from her... - We've been keeping it from her. - Before Rebecca moved back home. Our chances of keeping this a secret from her are... Nobody will find out if we don't tell them. Holly's lied to Rebecca her whole life. I don't think she's going to risk telling her now. Come on. Haven't we learned anything this year? - Tommy, you're with us, right? - Yeah. Good. Apparently you've all made up your minds. It's settled then. He had this one lone hair. Like this Fu Manchu thing. And he had this little fuzz on his upper lip. He was so proud of it. You're kidding. And he called it a mustache? - No. Yeah. - It was a mustache. It was a mustache. Mom, is there anything else? How about my acne or that piano tie I wore to the senior prom? Oh, my God. You were the guy in the piano tie. I can't believe this is happening. Mom, you're killing me. Don't be ridiculous. I'm going to make you a bagel. If it'll stop the humiliating trip down memory lane, please. I thought we were being discreet. You're not dressed. I'm not naked. What are you two whispering about down there? I was just offering Tyler a ride to work today. Justin, come on now. You don't need to feel uncomfortable. Tyler is welcome to stay over anytime she likes. You two are old enough to do what you want. Just stay safe. - We are. - All right. Here you go. - Thank you. - Eat up. I'm going. I'm going to get ready for my day. - Bye. - Bye. You must've really won her over. She does not dig up those stories for just anyone. You can get even tonight. My parents will be happy to fill you in on all the gory details of my adolescence. Meeting their daughter's recovering-addict boyfriend. Senior prom doesn't strike me as the dinner topic of choice. They're not like that. They're going to love you. I hope so. - Check out this Web site. - "The Skinny Minnie." - Do people really read this? - Yeah. Everything you've always wanted and not wanted to know about your celebrities. Scroll down past the photo of Britney without underwear. It's you. And me! "Soap hunk shops for furniture in WeHo with a friend." - Wow. I'm a friend? - You're a friend in italics. "If that didn't sound the alarm check out the less-than-hetero lamp." I told you that lamp was gay. And ugly. - It gets worse. - "It could just be wishful thinking, but we're getting a serious gay vibe from the daytime doctor." I've spent the morning fielding calls from my agent, my manager, my mom. Your mom checks Skinny Minnie? She Googles my name once a week. And that's not the point. We need to lay low. What? Chad we barely go out in daylight as it is. Come on! I'm starting to feel like a vampire. - Besides, we didn't do anything wrong. - I know. But Kev, I'm in this guy's sights. There are better options than laying low, believe me. We can call Dan Silk. Threaten him. No offense, but I don't think you could take him. Pummeling this guy wouldn't do much for my public image. I mean we could threaten him with legal action. - It's true. - I'm a lawyer, truth is irrelevant. I do this all the time. I need to make it clear, if he doesn't print a retraction, he'll face a very lengthy lawsuit. I'll bury him in discovery and depositions. It's Lawyering 101. I've never seen you so... litigious. - Right. - It's kind of hot. - But no way can you call him. - Why not? He's not a major corporation. He's one guy. He's one loser. He'll cave. They all do. Believe me. No. We just need to let it blow over. These stories don't have a long shelf life. If we don't give him more ammunition, this Silk will move on to somebody else. - Then... - Then what? Daylight again? - Definitely. - Good. And I could totally take that guy. You just worry too much, Nora. You always have. I know Sarah and Joe are going through a rough time. Are you sure that's all? I really think Tommy's decision to buy this winery with Holly is bothering her more than she's letting on. Tommy and Sarah have a very strong bond. William never would've brought Sarah to Ojai Foods if he thought she and Tommy couldn't survive sibling rivalry. You're right. You're right. I mean, look at us. - What do you mean? - Our family wasn't exactly a picnic, yet here we are, after all these years, still speaking to one another. - You want a green bean? - Thank you. - It's a small miracle, isn't it? - Yes, it is. I don't know. I think maybe I was wrong about her. - About who? - Holly. - What do you mean? - You're seeing her. Tommy is starting a company with her. As much as I hate to admit it, maybe William was a good judge of character. Well, your instincts are admirable, but you don't have to put aside your feelings for the sake of any of us. I'm not saying I want to be the woman's best friend. I'm just saying... I have been so busy blaming her, I don't think I've ever really seen her for who she is. OK. So, what are you proposing? The truth of the matter is Holly is a part of our family now. I think I should embrace that, if only to set an example. I mean, we all have to put the past behind us where it belongs and move on. - You think I'm crazy? - No, Nora. I don't think you're crazy. Good. Because if there's one person I count on to be my reality check, it's you. Saul? What? It's the past. It's not behind us. You have to tell me what. Tell me. William and Holly had a daughter. - What? - Her name is Rebecca. She's 20 years old. She's here in L.A. I'm so sorry, Nora. I'm so sorry. - No one wanted to upset you. - No one? Who else knows? Who else knows? Sarah and Tommy and Kevin. - But understand... - Justin and Kitty? - They don't know. - Oh, God. I didn't want this to be like the affair. I didn't want it to fester under the surface, haunting us. Come on. - Oh, my God. - What? Where are you going? - What are you doing? - To find Kitty and Justin. - Wait. Please. - No. There will be no more lies, Saul. No more. I won't stand for it. Nora, wait. Are you sure? How do we know Holly's telling the truth? As much as I'd like to, I don't think we can ignore the obvious. So, what are we supposed to say? "Wow, we have a sister now"? Justin, you don't have to say or do anything you don't want to. This is just going to take time for us all. So what? Dad made Holly a beneficiary of the land because of Rebecca? I don't know. But I suspect that's part of it. - Did he know that he was her father? - I don't know what he knew. This is crazy. You're saying Dad hid one of his kids from us for years and then gave Holly the land, so his affair is thrown in our face because of some girl named Rebecca? I wish I could tell you what he was thinking. - It's a shock for me too. - I don't know why. - He lied about having a mistress. - That's not fair. Why should I be so shocked that he lied to us too? This whole family revolves around lying. - Justin, please! - Grandma! Aunt Kitty! - Hi. - Hi, Grandma. - Hi. Hi. - Hey, guys. Hey, sweetie boy. Hi, guys. - This is wonderful. - Joe. - Hey, Nora. - Hi. - Hey, Kitty. - I can hardly pick you up. Please help me understand how you could discover your father has another child and not tell me? - We were trying to spare you the pain. - How? By keeping me in the dark? God. You should've seen Justin's reaction. - Saul shouldn't have said anything. - No! You do not get to blame Saul! He had enough faith in me, enough respect for me to be honest, which is more than I can say for you or Tommy or Kevin. Were you never going to tell me? You've had so much to cope with. It just didn't seem to be the right time. I can just see Tommy spearheading this whole brilliant idea. - He's so like his father. - No, it was my idea. - It was your idea? - Yeah. I was the one who thought that we should keep this information from you. Your father made you president of our family business, Sarah. Not our family. You taught me to put family first. I was trying to. No, it is not. You were trying to do what was easy for you. You think it's been easy keeping this a secret? No one asked you to! There is no justification for this. - Oh, God. What? - Hey. You ready for dinner? - May I speak to Dan Silk? - Talking to him. If you're going to make a living tarnishing people's reputations, you may want an unlisted number. Thanks for the tip. - Do I know you? - No, you do not. You did print my picture without permission on your libelous Web site. I'm the friend of Chad Berry. - Oh, you're that dude. - Yeah, I'm that dude. I'm just looking for the dish on Berry. If you want to spill, I could... No, no. You misunderstand. I'm an attorney. And I demand that you cease and desist publishing uncorroborated information about his personal life. Hey, man, what can I say? Inquiring minds want to know. He's contemplating filing a complaint. The cause of action: Invasion of privacy, libel, unfair business practices, infliction of emotional distress. - Should I go on? - But you're not denying Berry's gay? Listen to me, son, and I'll say this in a way that you understand. If you don't stop targeting my client, I will bury you so deep in litigation, it will be your great-great-grandchildren paying off the legal bills. Do I make myself clear? Yeah, I get it. You made your point. Good. Then thank you so much for your time. Hey, Mom. What's wrong? Kevin, what are you doing? Please, please, tell me exactly what you were thinking, because I'm quite sure we all agreed we would not say a thing! - You agreed, Saul! - Kevin. I didn't want it to happen the way it did. I'm sorry. Do you even get what you've done? Mom is furious. Kitty and Justin are reeling. I mean, Sarah is mortified. As am I. As is Tommy. Did you stop and think for a split second how bad this makes us look? I wasn't thinking about you. - You weren't thinking of anyone! - I was thinking about your mother. You had absolutely no right to do this without consulting us. I have every right. She's my sister. You wouldn't do the same thing if it were Kitty or Sarah? I wouldn't single-handedly sell out the rest of my family, no. You weren't there, Kevin. She was sitting in front of me, opening up her heart to Holly. Berating herself for misjudging her. She expected me to tell her that she was doing the right thing. And I will be damned if I will let her make herself vulnerable in that way, only to have her world come crashing down again. You better hope this family finds a way to repair itself. Because if this does any lasting damage, I'm holding you responsible. I learned something interesting today. You know the San Francisco cable cars are the only moving national monument? Didn't know that. I've told you every time I sleep with somebody I work with. - You can't tell me we have a sister? - Half-sister. For the 400th time, Kitty, I am sorry. - I don't know what else to say. - I thought you were gonna table this. - Yeah, so did I! - We are. What's happening in D.C.? I'm working on legislation that would dramatically reduce greenhouse gas emissions. It will be like taking 100 million cars right off the street. - It'd be groundbreaking. - Impressive. - The other... - For the record? I don't see why I should be the one to take the fall for this. - I wasn't the only one that knew. - You're bearing the brunt because you're here. Believe me, I wish that Tommy and Kevin were here too. - Is it always like this? - You dreamed of having a baby sister. Sarah, you know what? I was six, OK? That wish didn't include Dad cheating on Mom. I didn't know what to do, Kitty. So I thought the best thing to do was nothing. So shoot me. Oh. Do you like cigars? I got some good ones and we could... That would be great. You didn't know what to do so you did nothing. I would've told you, Sarah! Justin, where are you? You were supposed to be here an hour ago. - I can't make it. I'm sorry. - What? My mom's been cooking all day. I'm sorry, OK? It's something with my family. I can't talk about it now. Look, I got to go. I'll call you tomorrow. - Hey. - Glad you called, man. - It's been a while. - Thanks for coming. It's bad enough my dad was in love with another woman. Like my mom wasn't enough. - But another kid? - I guess you weren't enough? I almost died and yet there I am back in the same place. - Ready to do it all again. - But you didn't. You didn't use. And that's good, man. - Yeah, but I came close, bro. - Of course you did. This whole thing is textbook you. Look, I know you, Justin. You didn't become a medic for nothing. You can't stand to see people in pain. And right now you and your family are suffering. There's nothing you can do to make that go away. If it gets overwhelming, you know the drill. Find a meeting, work the steps. I don't get it. How could he lie to us about his own daughter, knowing what it would do to us when we found out? And her. Rebecca, right? You know, I didn't even think about her. God, what if...? I wonder if she even knows. Not exactly a normal couple night out, huh? It was surprisingly normal considering how blindsided you were. You want something to drink? Yes, please. I think I have to just sit. And not move. If I do, who knows what else is going to come along and rip my life apart. - You're right. - Thank you. Let's not move. It's too big a risk. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. Why do anything? Well, eventually I'm going to have to get up. The thing is, everybody keeps telling me that I have this sister. I don't know what the hell that means. I mean, when I think of Sarah, I don't think of her DNA. I think about how we grew up together in the same house with the same weird family. And how we, you know, shared our diaries and our shampoos. But am I supposed to have those same feelings - for a woman that I never even met? - I don't think anybody expects that. Well, and then there's my dad. I've been grieving for a father that I don't even know. And I was just starting to get all... happy. I wouldn't let this destroy that. You hold on to what's good. To what makes you happy. You make me happy. - I do? - Yeah. Would it be OK with you if we still just sit here for a while? As long as you want. The kids wake you up? No. I just couldn't sleep. You want to talk? No. It's all right, Joe. You don't have to stay up. You'll get through this. Everyone's so mad at me. Mom, Kitty, Uncle Saul. I don't have you. You know? I'm right here. - Justin. - Hey, Mom. Justin. - I'm fine. - Are you all right? I'm fine. I'm just exhausted. - OK. - Hey. I told Tyler it would be all right if she waited here. I'll give you guys privacy. I'll be upstairs if you need me. - All right. I love you. I'm OK. - I love you too. I'm OK. OK. Your mom told me what happened. I'm sorry. - Sorry about missing dinner. - It's OK. I was just worried. The last time you sounded like that... I was with my sponsor. Oh. - That's good. - Look, I get it if you're angry at me. I'm not angry. I just don't know if I can handle it. That's why they tell you not to date anyone your first year you're clean. I never understood that before tonight because I couldn't deal with anyone or anything but me. That's how it should be. Look, you weren't wrong to worry, OK? I just don't think I'm ready for a relationship, Tyler. I know. I know. I just want you to be OK. More than anything I want for us, I want that for you. Come here. It's OK. Have you talked to Mom? I keep trying to reach her, but she's not picking up, at least not for me. Yeah, not for me either. Let me be the one to kick Holly out of our lives once and for all. Sarah, Holly's not going anywhere. Nor do I want her to. I hope you don't think what happened last night changes anything. It changes everything. You can't still be planning to go into business with that woman. - I am. - She won't be satisfied until she has destroyed everything we've created here. Don't be fooled, Tommy. This whole nightmare is because of her. Sarah, there is enough blame to go around. - Is that a dig at me? - We lied. Dad lied. In fact, right now, Holly's probably the most honest one of us all. You can't be that naive. I already told you! I didn't start this winery for you or Mom. All right? I did this for me. Building something for myself. That was before the horror show landed on my lap! Look, it landed in our laps. You want to control everything. God, you just thrive off of control. - But this is out of your hands. - Spare me, Tommy, OK? I already pay for therapy, I really don't need your amateur psychoanalysis. Just let it go. OK. Well, clearly I'm the only one who still gives a damn about Ojai, so you'll understand that I have work to do. Excuse me. I'm looking for Holly Harper. She's not in her office. I don't know where she... - Do I know you? - No, I don't think so. I'm her daughter, Rebecca. Right. I thought you'd look more like your mom. - I'm Sarah Walker. - It's nice to meet you. You too. So... Holly? Oh, um... - I have no idea where she is. - OK. Thanks. Sorry. Rebecca. Um... Do you have a minute? Could I talk to you? Yeah, sure. Hey, Becca. Where you been? I stopped by Ojai today. I wanted to check out your new digs. - You did? - Yeah. I got the address from some papers you had lying around. Thought I'd surprise you. Well, I'm sorry that I missed you. I was out meeting with a distributor and I didn't want to drive all the way back to the office. So, um, would you like me to make lunch for both of us? No. I don't really have an appetite right now. I met some people there. At Ojai. Like Sarah. Mom, do you remember that Christmas, when I was eight and I had my tonsils taken out? And then after the surgery, your friend Bill came by to visit. And he gave me that doll with the long red hair. Did Bill really think that a doll could make up for abandoning me? What was it, a "sorry for being a deadbeat dad" gift? No. Please. Let me explain. There's an explanation for why you lied to me for 20 years? You said that Bill was your friend and left out the part about him being your boyfriend for two decades and my father! Honey. Oh, God. It is complicated. It seems pretty simple to me, Mom. You were willing to be sloppy seconds for some rich jerk with a wife and kids. My dad didn't want to fess up to a bastard child with his mistress because he didn't want to risk his Norman Rockwell life. No. I know that you're angry, but you need to hear me through. Why? It's too late to do anything about it. He's dead! - Yes, but... but you... - How much of it is mine? What? The money that William Walker left you. How much of it is mine? I put two million dollars in a trust in your name. And it will be yours when you're 25. Well, I guess that's better than some stupid doll. - Hey. - Dude, I am so screwed. I'm so glad it's you and not my mom. Or my brothers. Or my sister. Or indeed my half-sister. Could my life get any more complicated? - What's up? - Did you even hear what I said? A countdown clock. Dan Silk is counting out the days until I come out on his frigging website. "Chad Berry. Come out, come out, wherever you are." That son of a bitch. What I can't figure out is why is this guy gunning for me? Oh, no. You called him. Yes. Yes, I did. I thought I could convince him to leave you alone. You think you're the first lawyer to try and scare this asswipe? He makes his living from screwing with people's lives. You just egged him on! You promised you wouldn't do anything. I come from a line of people who are incapable of leaving well enough alone. If you had any respect for how important my career is to me, you would have listened and not gone behind my back. You're right. You're absolutely right. I'm sorry. I am sorry. So... where do we go from here? I'll tell you where we won't go. Out to the movies, out to dinner, shopping, hiking, the gym. I'm all for cutting out the gym. No, the shipment was for 1,400. Not 14. Look, just deal with it, OK? Do you have any idea what you have done to my life and to Rebecca's? - What I've done? Are you serious? - My God! As a mother, how could you be that cruel? My daughter is crushed. Her whole identity, everything that we had, our relationship has been decimated. And all for what? Out of spite? So that you could get even with me? But I just told her the truth. I was planning on telling her everything on my timetable. In my way. - It was not your place. - My place? Oh, you are unbelievable. It wasn't your place to have an affair with a married man. It wasn't your place to have my father's child. It certainly wasn't your place to come crawling out of the woodwork and demand a piece of our family business! But none of that stopped you, did it? You've done nothing but cause my family pain. So if your perfect little world has come crashing down around you because the truth has come out, you know what? Join the damn club! I let you treat me like dirt because I love and respected your father. But I am done treating you with any measure of civility. - Is that a threat? - You bet your ass it's a threat. And you? I trusted you. I had to do what was best for my family. - Don't you ever call me again. - I'm sorry you feel that way. Not sorry enough. What are you reading? Seeing with Serenity: How to Cope With What Life Deals You. I took a trip to the self-help section at the bookstore. So far, it's just pages and pages of vague platitudes. Mom, you've been avoiding my calls. I didn't know what I wanted to say. I wish I could turn back the clock and make a different decision. - But I can't. - I know. You seem angrier at me than Kevin or Tommy. Am I wrong? Probably not. You hold me to a different standard than anyone else. That's not fair. Yes. You're right, it's not fair. I just always felt this connection with you. You raise a boy and you don't expect them to tell you anything. You're lucky if they acknowledge you on their way out the door. But you always confided in me. I felt like you trusted me to handle whatever came along. I never had that relationship with my mother. I always thought I had it with you. Mom, we do have that relationship. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was hurt you. I know. But that doesn't mean you didn't. Justin. I get the feeling you're not here to see me. No, I'm not. Is Rebecca here? Rebecca, this is Justin. Justin Walker. So you're one of them? - His family? - Yeah. - I got it, Mom. - OK. If you're expecting tears from me, you can forget it. I'm not expecting anything. I just wanted to meet you. Well, I'm here. I'm real. You can even touch me. - Uh... you want to walk? - OK. It's so bizarre. We live, like, 15 minutes away. In L.A., that's practically like being neighbors. - Where did you go to school? - I started at La Salle. Swanky. I got kicked out junior year and I finished up at San Marino. - What about you? - Marshall. I think we played you in football. - I didn't play football. - Oh, that's good. I hate it. Marshall... Did you know a Carter Espen? Oh, God. Totally. - He used to date this girl, Rebecca. - Yep, that was me. OK, I'm officially freaked out now. I mean, what if we had met and...? What if we...? Oh, the Greek tragedy of it all. So, what do you do? Presently, not much. I'm a vet. I was in Afghanistan. Wow. Afghanistan. - That must've been intense. - Yeah, it was. So you and Carter? I can't believe that. We really didn't know each other well at all. Previously on Brothers and Sisters: I thought it might be nice - if people brought their dogs to work. - Nice. - I sent an e-mail. - What? ! - Come to Santa Barbara. - I don't date potential employers. You'll have lunch and a professional conversation. If you consider that a date, your social life must be lame. - It is. - We're having a baby. I am trying to be a good mother. That's what he wants here. - He has a mother. - But she's not here, and I am. - Why are you leaving? - I've had some bad ideas in my life, but thinking I could work here and share an office with you is one of the worst. How you doing? No, I work here now. I'm not kidding. Hey, stud. Hey! Whoa. Blind stud. I got soap in my eye. Sorry, but what you did back there? It was incredible. Sure it was me and not the hormones? Oh, it was you, all right. Well, I do aim to please. Good. Because I'm nowhere near finished with you. I barely left the house most Sundays. My mom would cook elaborate dinners for neighbors, friends and sometimes people we barely knew. By ten, I could whip up a perfect meringue, deglaze a pan, truss a chicken. But by the time puberty rolled around, I'd had enough. Football, friends seemed more important. So I told her I was done. I was a guy. I didn't want to spend Sundays in the kitchen with my mom. And you know what she said? She told me that some day I would realize that taking care of people is not masculine or feminine. It's a privilege and it's an honor. And she was right. And one day I realized that politics is about the privilege and the honor of taking care of people. Of making certain that the weak are protected, the poor are sheltered and the hungry fed. My mother passed away six years ago, but I work every day to honor her memory in politics and in my kitchen. Thank you very much. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you. It's good to see you. Thank you. I appreciate the support. Good to see you. Weren't you impressed? You were talking to Republican women. What do you think, they were gonna storm the stage? This is your first week. Shouldn't you be kissing up? There is nothing sexier than a man who loves his mom. I'm glad you enjoyed the speech. You are so much better looking in person than you are on C-SPAN. Nobody looks good on C-SPAN. Believe me. It's the lighting. Oh, those baby-blues, cheekbones that can cut glass, financials are impeccable. I have to rate you a 94.5. I have to take off something for the divorce. Thank goodness you were not the cheater. - I'm sorry. Excuse me, but who are you? - "Introductions by Elise." Introduction...? Intro... Oh. - Oh, you're a dating service. - Executive matchmaker. Oh. And a very large contributor. I'm gonna cut right to the chase: You are the 200-pound tuna of bachelors, senator. You really don't have time to separate the wheat from the chaff, Grace Kellys from the Britney Spears. That's where I come in. - We need to meet the governor. - Very nice meeting you. - Lovely to meet you. Think about it. - You bet. - Give me that. - You didn't find her persuasive? No. Objectifying, pushy, judgmental? Yes, definitely. She is trying to bring people together. That is noble work. - She looked at you like meat. - Tuna, actually. If the press ever got wind of you using a madam... - Matchmaker. - They're gonna have a field day. Can you think of a less romantic way to meet someone? You want to be reduced to an arbitrary number on an arbitrary scale? - You are trying to get me. - Not trying. Succeeding. - And spectacularly, I might add. - You realize I hate you right now. Come on, ladies! Come on! Show me something down here! Oh, life's a fight, people! Let's see some fighting spirit in here! Just five more, soldier! Five! Four! Three! - Five! - Two comes after three! Four! Three! Two! One! I can't believe he sat on me. - Is that a common occurrence? - You haven't taken Benny before? - No. - He gets off on being a hard-ass. - It's my first week. - With those arms, bro? You could have fooled me. - Nice to meet you. Chad. - Kevin. Nice kicks, by the way. Where did you get them? Some place on Melrose. I'm waiting for these limited-edition Japanese imports. They've got blue and orange on the side and this red mesh on the soles. - I had my publicist put me on the list. - They sound great. I could ask her to put you on it too, if you want. If you don't mind matching. - No. Sure. - Right on. I'll need your info, though. I'm so sorry. You're Dr. Phillip, right? From Tempest Bay? - That's me. - I know it's completely hicksville, - but would you sign my gym bag? - Sure. No problem. Thanks. Oh, my God. My mom's gonna flip out. Bye. - Bye. - Bye. - Too bad it's always moms, right? - Yeah. Bummer. - He was hitting on me. - You are so full of yourself. Chad Barry has had ten girlfriends in the last year. What? I'm a mom. I read Us Weekly. Too bad Justin's in rehab. He has great gaydar. Straight guys don't really comment on other guys' bodies. Why'd you tell Kevin he was getting a gut? - Yeah. - My brother. That's different. I say, go for it. Since when have you been so sex-positive? - Julia's morning sickness is gone. - Oh, it has? That's so great. Yeah. Really great. Oh, I remember that. When I was pregnant with Cooper, Joe would just like brush past me - and... - Eww. - Enjoy it while it lasts. It won't. - Thanks for the tip, killjoy. Oh, look. He brought his mom to the Daytime Emmys. - Everyone does that now. - Everyone who's gay. That's Julia. She wants me home for, uh... lunch. - Later. - Lunch. Ooh, he's got a blog. Favorite music: All things Christina. - You might be right. - Yeah. That's her. Kitty Walker. - Gary Morris, policy advisor. - Hi. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. I was a big fan of Red, White Blue. Welcome aboard. Thanks. I'm happy to be here. Between you and me, the staff are concerned about you working for us. - But so long as you're discreet... - I'm sorry. - I'm not sure I follow... - Sorry. I need to take this. Noreen, can you help Kitty get settled? Thanks. Your office is this way. Not quite what you're used to, huh? No makeup, no stylists. This office is seriously lacking in glamour. Well, I worked in basic cable, so... Ooh. - No glamour there. - If you need anything else... Yeah. Actually, um, is there any reason why people would be uncomfortable with me being here? No reason. It's great. But I'm swamped. I should go. No, no, please. Really, I feel like I have spinach in my teeth and nobody is telling me. We all just really care about the senator. Personally, I think you make a really cute couple. Couple! C... Couple? No. No, no, no, no, no. We are... That... No. There's no couple. I'm just part of his communications staff. - There's no coupling. - I get it. You want to keep it on the down low. I don't want to keep it on the down or the low. I don't want to keep it anywhere. There's nothing to keep anyway. - I arranged for you to go to his ranch. - For the day. For the day. It was one day. It turned into just a couple of hours. Look, he's been through a lot. Just don't break his heart, OK? Oh, my God! I just... You know... Wh... What can I say to you to make you understand that we are not together? You know, if you don't believe me, you can ask... Ask my boyfriend. - You have a boyfriend? - Yes, I do. It's a very serious... I love him. I'm sorry, I... I guess it was just a misunderstanding. Mm. - I'll let you settle in. - Yeah, OK. And please feel free to spread the word. No. Listen to this. "Spend two weeks at a sixteenth century Tuscan farmhouse. Each night, you prepare an authentic Italian meal learning from local chefs." Wow. Interested? Two weeks cooking? What part of "vacation" do you not understand? - Are you expecting a fax? - Well, no. I mean, yes. I am. My papers from my office. Kitty, don't lie. You've got a tell. That thing you do with your eyebrows. I don't do a thing with my eyebrows. - This came in a few minutes ago. - Great. Thank you for making an embarrassing situation even more embarrassing. A dating service? Kitty. - You don't need a dating service. - No, I actually do. I need a quick and expedient way to find... - A husband? - No, Mother. Not a husband. Sweetheart, there are other ways of fulfilling your physical needs. - Electrical things... - Mother, no! Please! Just... - Somebody just kill me! - OK. If it's not a husband and it's not sex... It's a beard. Arm candy. Somebody whose picture I can put on my desk. Everybody in my office thinks the senator and I are dating. - Well, he is your type. - Oh, et tu, Mother? All right. I'm sorry. Just please continue. I really want to do well at this job. I can't do well if everybody thinks that I got my job by sleeping with my boss. So if you will excuse me, I am meeting with the EM very shortly... - EM? - It's the executive matchmaker. Now silence. Mother. You want help with that bar? There you go. - Hey. - Oh, hey! You made it. Yeah. I didn't want Major Pain to make me do extra pushups, so I ran here. - Wow. - Hey, you should check them out. Oh, yeah. That... Nice. - I got yours in my bag. - Great. You need to break them in. What are you doing tomorrow? - Say, around 11? - I... I work. I'm... I'm a lawyer. That's too bad. Not that you're a lawyer, that you're not free. Well, you know, I work pretty flexible hours. Cool. So we'll skip class tomorrow and go hiking? I was kind of hoping to give my legs a day off. Come on. It'll be fun. I know this off-leash trail. - Oh, I don't have a dog. - I do. Lola. My pug. - You have a pug named Lola? - Yeah, short for Lolita. - And she's getting pretty fat, dude. - Let's get those heart rates up! - All right, let's go! Come on, now! Ten rounds of jumping jacks! Yo, up! Up! Up! Come on! - Ah, hello, ladies. - Hi, Mrs. Whedon. - Hey, Mom. - Where's Dad? He's in the kitchen with Nicole's mom. OK, those two fingers on those... That... Yeah. Second fret. Your pinky goes on the third fret there. Hit it. Hit again. Yeah. Rock star! - Hi. - Sarah, hi. I'm Vanessa. I'm sorry. I didn't realize you had a lesson, Joe. Oh, no. Just us playing a few tunes... And I made the mistake of saying it looked easy. It's nice to see the guitar. It's been a while since it's had any recreational activity. Yeah. You know, I should get going. Time to round up my little warrior. Oh, she's great. - I'll ring you tomorrow. - Sounds good. - It's so nice to finally meet you. - You, too. Vanessa, right? - Right. - See you. Don't tell me. You're jealous. Don't be ridiculous. Come on. She's just another mom. Lovely. Oh, my. This is so beautiful. You know, your home says a lot about you. Warm, nurturing, homebody. - It's my mom's. - You live at home at your age? Well, yeah, it's temporary. See, I used to live in New York. I moved to L.A. - Because I had this fiancée... - Should have seen her apartment. Steel. What is it with people that want to live in a warehouse? Hi, I'm Nora. - How do you do? I'm Elise. - You have something you need to do? I do. I'm organizing the linen chest. I'll be quiet as a mouse. Elise, when do you think I'll have my first date? Don't get ahead of yourself. We do have work. Your dating techniques, your appearance, your hair. What... What's wrong with my hair? - A little product wouldn't hurt. - I don't need product. No, just for a little volume. Now, I need to prep you on what you're going to say. Oh, well, you know, I'm... I know that I look young, but I've actually been dating for about 20 years, so I... And yet you've never sealed the deal. Well, maybe I've never wanted to "seal the deal." - Don't be defensive. - No, no. - She gets defensive. - No, I don't get defensive. - I'm not defensive. I'm not! - She gets defensive. Ladies. I am gonna meet with you before every date, and we're gonna check your clothes, your makeup. To make sure you're projecting the right image. Based on the bachelors. We'll go over mutual areas of interest. Now, I have been going over your questionnaire and it seems like your priorities are... Huh... Well, looks. Oh, no. That doesn't sound like you, Kitty. No, it's me. It's me. It's me. Well, sweetheart, looks fade. You want someone intelligent, who'll make you laugh. And cultured, so you can travel with him. - Go to the theater. - Since when do I go to the theater? You know, Miss Walker, I just signed a client who sounds exactly like the man you're describing. He's charming, funny. I think he's about your age. Never married, so he's not bitter. And he's an accomplished ballroom dancer. I think he would love to meet you. Know what? You'd be doing me a huge favor. No, no, no, no, no, no. This is about Kitty's social life. I don't really want to intrude. Oh, trust me. She loves to intrude. She lives to intrude. Nonsense. You know what? I love mother-daughter teams. - It's twice as much fun. - OK. Well, she loves contractors. - Kitty. - Nora, I feel so confident in this, I'm not gonna charge you for this consultation. Sit down. Sit! Great. OK, here's what we're gonna do. Hey. So this is really good. I would just change "watchdog" to "necessary vigilance." Protection over fear? It's good. I like it. Sit down. I'll go over the whole thing. You know, actually, I... I kind of have to go. Is it OK if we run through it tomorrow? It's a personal matter. - Oh. OK. - OK. Thanks. - I hope I get to meet him soon. - What? Your boyfriend. If you want to keep things private, you got to avoid Noreen. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks for the intel. I was surprised to hear you were in a relationship. I just would've assumed you'd say something. - You're... You're fishing. - You're evading. It's only fair. You know all the details in my personal life. Besides, what's the big secret? Is he bald? A hunchback? A member of the Green Party? He doesn't exist. I don't have a boyfriend. I lied because I... Well, I had to because everybody in this office thinks that you and I are... - They do? - They do. - But we're not. - I'm aware of that. Every time I tried to tell Noreen, she thought I was lying... So you made up another lie. You'd make a very effective politician. I panicked. I was nervous. It was my first day and I just... I want people in this office to respect me and they're not if they think... One day, you're gonna have to come clean. Not if I meet somebody really soon. I called the matchmaker. The pushy, judgmental, objectifying matchmaker? - Yeah, that would be the one. - Oh, the irony of this moment. Could I just have a minute to enjoy this? Oh, knock yourself out. Well, I can't enjoy it if you're gonna enjoy it. Kitty, you don't have to prove yourself to the staff. I mean, ignore them, or I can talk to them. No! No, no, no. No! No, no, no! Don't. It's fine. I don't think that the office scuttlebutt was the only reason. - It is hard to meet people. - Tell me about it. I met my wife at a kegger. I filled her plastic cup up with flat beer and that was that. Today I don't have the first idea where to meet women. If it makes you feel better, I was half-tempted to call her myself. Really? Well, yeah. Yeah, that does make me feel better. It's just that... I have never been one to believe that there's gonna be some knight in shining armor, and he pulls up into my driveway and sweeps me off my feet. But, you know, I really... I really never thought that it was gonna be this hard either. Oh, I... I have to go. So, thank you for not being a complete jerk about this. Anytime. Oh. And, uh... wish me luck. Then I said, "You know, I know I'm supposed to be humble, but I'm better than that show. I mean, I can do more than play a Mafioso's son. At least give me a disease or a multiple personality or something." I can see how that'd be frustrating. And then finally I just said to him, "Look, I'm not renewing my contract." So, Kev, you got a boyfriend or something? Uh, no. No, I don't. And, uh, h... how... how did you know I was gay? I got a lot of gay friends. It's so much easier hanging out, you know? None of that alpha male weirdness. - So you're not...? - Gay? - Yeah. - No. My girlfriend's got a theory we're all a little bit gay. Right. Well, right. Well, I'm... I'm pretty much fully gay, so... - So you have a girlfriend? - Yeah. Michelle. She's awesome. She's out in New York right now doing a play. You two would totally hit it off. She loves hot gay dudes. Always trying to convert them. Hey, uh, you into the Lakers? What? The basketball team? My agent got me floor seats for tonight's game. We could go if you want. - You know, grab a couple beers after. - Yeah, sure. Cool. Come on. Let's go. Lola! Lola, come on! She's a good girl. What a waste. You're going to one of the biggest games - and I'm stuck at home. - Stuck at home? Every time I turn around you're racing to get out of here. Yeah, but I'm exhausted. You know, Julia woke me up at 5 AM. Not in the mood for an erotic wake-up call? Not at 5 AM. The guy is messing with my head. In the gay column I have flirting, giving me shoes, Lola the pug. And in the straight column I have girlfriend, Lakers and use of the words "dude" and "bro." - Maybe he's bi. - No one's bi. Ever met a 70-year-old bisexual? At some point you make a choice. Thus the expression, "Bi now, gay later." - Maybe he hasn't decided. - He better decide. I can't keep missing work. My hamstrings are killing me. I don't know how I'm gonna make it up and down stairs at the Coliseum. It's Staples Center, dumb-ass. Who knew too much sex could make you cranky? - I wish I was cranky from too much sex. - What are you and Joe up to tonight? We are going to a club. Yeah. This, um, band that Joe used to love. - How very 20-something of you. - We're in serious need of fun. Last time I heard my husband laugh was with another mom. Another mom? Uh-oh. Is someone feeling a little possessive? Oh, please. She's hardly the issue. So, this club, do they let parents in or is it seniors' night? No. - Oh, definitely no. - Come on now. Hey. - That is my favorite date dress. - No wonder you're still single. Kitty, you are going out with a very dynamic man. Dynamic isn't some sort of code word for deranged, is it? God, no. You told me you wanted handsome, and I went above and beyond on this one. Oh, absolutely beautiful. Well, why does she get to wear black? She's a woman of a certain age and it's classic. - Earrings are wrong. - What's wrong with pearls? Nothing, if you want to remind him of his grandmother. Diamonds. - Where are your diamonds? - Is this too much? That's the one. And for the final touch? A gift for both of you. - Chicken cutlets? - They're boobs. They're boobs. No. I'm personally very happy with my body the way it is. Well, that's very progressive of you. But you pay me to tell it like I see it. I see you both need help in this department. - What was wrong with Kleenex? - They're lumpy, and these? These are light and comfortable and they have just the right amount of jiggle. See, I'm wearing them right now. Would you like to feel? - Oh, no, no. I'm good. - No, thanks. You can use these for the posterior. Let's face it ladies, what man doesn't like a little "junk in the trunk"? So... What do you say, girls? Who wants to be bootylicious? I think I'm bootylicious enough. Whoo. Uh... Hi. Excuse me. Um... I'm meeting someone here. The reservation is under Elise Lacey. Oh. Hi. Your date's waiting for you. Follow me. Oh, really? Is he normal? - I wouldn't exactly say normal. - Really? You must be Kitty. That's very good. Thanks. I'll be back to tell you about specials in a minute, senator. Thank you. I never would've figured you for a silent treatment type. I'm not giving you silent treatment. I'm considering how I can tell you off without losing my job. - You're angry. - Yes! Yes. I'm angry. I thought it would be a nice surprise if you showed up and saw a friendly face. I confided in you, and you took advantage of me. - Do you know how humiliating this is? - You don't need to feel humiliated. I am wearing a silicone ass! I knew there was something different. You know what? No, no, no. I don't appreciate your jokes. I thought you were a decent human being... Kitty. Hear me out. I just felt terrible that you went through all this because my staff made assumptions. - So you hijacked my date? - I didn't trust Elise to find anybody good enough for you. And rather than have you sit through some awkward meal with a stranger and me at home with my laptop and takeout Thai, I hijacked your date. - I thought you'd find it charming. - Charming? Accept my apology. My intentions were noble, albeit my execution was... Lame, ill-conceived, thoughtless? All of the above, yes. Look. I can't date you. I know. But maybe you could share some red wine and a steak with me as a friend. Do you have your speech with you? You want to turn this into a working dinner? Yeah, I do. I think it would make me feel better. - I already memorized it. - Good. I'll excuse myself. I'm gonna go to the ladies room and I'm going to remove my new, improved butt. I would like you to order me a petite fillet and a wedge salad. - And then we'll get to work. - Will do. Apology accepted. - You must be Nora. - Yes. - Lawrence McGill. - Very nice to meet you. Oh, my God, look at those earrings. Let me guess, a carat and a half? Uh, yeah. Uh, are you a jeweler? No. I make it my business to notice beautiful things. Yes. Please forgive me. I'm a little nervous about all this. - You're a virgin. - Hardly. I have five children. I mean a dating service virgin. Oh, yeah. Well, yes. I am. Are you? Oh, no. I'm an old whore at this point. Lots of first dates. Seconds, not so much. Ah. I think our table is ready. We should just sit right down, I think. Yes, thank you. To the buzzer. A Sports Illustrated moment. I actually think I got hit by Kobe's sweat when he took the shot. Nice. You still down for hanging out? Sure. Uh, do you... you know a bar around here? Let's skip the bar. Too many drunken fans. Fine by me. What did you want to do? Let's get out of here. Take a drive up Mulholland. - Mulholland? - My girlfriend's out of town. - I don't have a curfew. Hop in. Lt'll be fun, I promise. That is a beautiful watch. I have three sons and a brother. Always looking for good gift ideas. - Where did you buy it? - Fred Segal's. - Oh. - Did their Christmas display last year. An homage to 1940s noir. Hm. Lawrence, I hate to be blunt. Maybe it's my age or my inability to be coy anymore in my life, but are you gay? I mean, it's fine. I have a son who's gay and I am a proud member of PFLAG. - Are you... disappointed? - No. I'm curious. I'm... Why...? Why date women? I love women! I love their companionship, their friendship. I just want someone to go to museums, parties, take dancing. Does that sound pathetic? No. No, it sounds very familiar. If you want to call it a night, I'd understand. No, Lawrence. Absolutely not. We haven't eaten. I'm starving to death. You want to share an order of edamame with me? - What time did you tell the sitter? - Twelve, latest. It's 10:30 now. This is ridiculous. Oh, God! Is that vomit? I don't want to get close enough to confirm or deny. This is the worst date night ever. It's Betsy. Hey Betsy, what's up? He is? Well, does he have a fever? He's throwing up. OK. Look, we'll, um... we'll be home soon. Thanks. Hey, we would've had to leave early anyway. You know, we just should've stayed home and watched a movie. Honey, you know there's another pint of ice cream in the freezer, right? Can't I just make out with my husband? Yeah, if that's all. What's that supposed to mean? Just... I was hoping that we could take the night off. Since when do you want to take the night off? It's just, you know, the way you've been. How exactly have I been? Just very... easily aroused. What, like some nympho? Like a hooker, I can't get enough? Is that what you think? Look, I'm not like some sex-bot. You can't just put a battery in me, and boom, there I go. Even if I was 16, I couldn't keep up with you. All I want is some sleep. Just eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. You want to take a break? You can sleep on the couch tonight. And tomorrow! Oh, God. I feel like I'm in high school again. Last time I was up here, it was with some soccer player named Eli. Is something bothering you? Am I that obvious? The one thing you're not is obvious, Chad. I got the pages for tomorrow's shoot. I have three lines. Three. I was nominated for a Daytime Emmy and now they're treating me like some day player. OK, we've parked at inspiration point so you can bitch about your job? - I thought we were friends. - I don't know what we are, Chad. You give me shoes. You admire my body and... You know, I'm sorry. Taking a drive to a beautiful location is, regardless of categories, a date. Come on, man. Driving me all the way up here, you're either gonna hack me into pieces or you're gonna kiss me. Well, I'm not a serial killer, so... Wait. Wait. So you are gay. No, man. But it doesn't mean I don't think you're hot. Wait. What about your girlfriend? She doesn't mind. I've seen her make out with tons of girls. Well, who am I to judge? He shows up for his interview and I swear to you, his face did not move. - No. - No, not an inch. - Botox? - Enough for all the ladies who do high tea at the Bel-Air. Yeah, I remember my first campaign. I didn't care about image. I would show up at a fundraiser in the same suit that I wore to the previous night's fundraiser. Sometimes my wife and I would bring the kids, - strapped to us in those backpacks. - Sounds like fun. No, it was, and then we'd rush home, put the kids to bed and then stay up all night laughing about the evening. Sounds like you and your wife made a good team. Ex-wife. And, yeah, we did. For a while. Do you miss her? I miss the people we were back then. And no, I don't miss who she is now. And I know she doesn't miss who I've become. And don't underestimate the importance of body language' Ha' The men up there don't like a Iot ofbIabber TheythinkagirI whogossipsisa bore Yes, on Iandit'smuchpreferred forIadiesnot to saya word And, afterall, dear What isidIeprattIe for Come on, then' They're not aIIthat impressed with conversation TruegentIemen avoidit when theycan But theydote andswoon andfawn on a lady who's withdrawn It'sshe who hoIdshertongue whogetsherman Come on,youpoor unfortunatesouI Go ahead Makeyourchoice I'm a verybusy woman andIhaven'tgot aIIday It won't cost much justyour voice Yapoor, unfortunatesouI It'ssad, but true Ifyou want to crossa bridge mysweet,you'vegot topaythe toll Take aguIp andtake a breath andgo aheadandsign thescroII FIotsam,Jetsam NowI'vegot her, boys The bossis on a roll Thispoor, unfortunate soul BeIuga, sevruga Come winds ofthe Caspian Sea Larynxis, glossitis Et maxIaryngitis La voce to me Now, sing' Keep singing' That voice. I can't get it out of my head. I've looked everywhere, Max. Where could she be? Well, look at what the catfish dragged in. Look at ya. Look at ya. There's somethin' different. Don't tell me. I got it. It's your hairdo, right? You've been usin' the dinglehopper, right? No? No, huh? Well, let me see. New seashells? No new seashells. I gotta admit I can't put my foot on it right now. - But if I just stand here long enough-- - She's got legs, you idiot' She traded her voice to the sea witch and got legs. Geez, man' I knew that. Ariel's been turned into a human. She's gotta make the prince fall in love with her, and he's gotta k-- - He's gotta kiss her. - And she's only got three days' Just look at her' On legs' On human legs' My nerves are shot' This is a catastrophe' What would her father say? I'll tell you what her father'd say. He'd say he's gonna kill himself a crab' That's what her father'd say' I'm gonna march meself straight home right now... and tell him just like I should have done the minute-- And don't you shake your head at me, young lady. Maybe there's still time. Ifwe could get that witch... to give you backyour voice... you could go home with all the normal fish and just be-- Just be-- Just be miserable for the rest ofyour life. All right, all right. I'll try to help ya find that prince. Boy, what a soft shell I'm turning out to be. Now, Ariel, I'm tellin' ya. Ifyou wanna be a human... the first thing ya gotta do is dress like one. Now, let me see. Max? What? Huh? What? Max' Ya look great, kid. Ya look sensational. Max' Max' Quiet, Max. What's gotten into you, fella? Oh. Oh, I see. Are you okay, miss? I'm sorry ifthis knucklehead scared you. He's harmless really, uh-- You seem very familiar to me. Have we met? We have met. I knew it. You're the one, the one I've been looking for. What's your name? W-What's wrong? What is it? You can't speak? Oh' Oh, then you couldn't be who I thought. W-What is it? Y-You're hurt? No, no. You need help? Whoa, whoa, careful' Careful, easy. Gee, you must have really been through something. Don't worry. Don't worry. I'll help you. Come on. Come on. You'll be okay. Washed up from a shipwreck. Oh, the poor thing. We'll have you feeling better in no time. I'll just- - I'll just get this washed foryou. Well, you must have at least heard about this girl. - No' - Gertrude says-- When has Gertrude ever gotten anything right? - I mean, really. - Madam, please-- This girl shows up in rags and doesn't speak. Not my idea ofa princess. If Eric's looking for a girl, I know a couple of... highly available ones right here. Oh, Eric, be reasonable. Nice young ladiesjust don't swim around rescuing people... in the middle ofthe ocean, and then flitter off into oblivion like some-- I'm tellin' ya, Grim. She was real. I'm gonna find that girl, and I'm gonna marry her. Come on, honey. Don't be shy. Oh, Eric, isn't she a vision? Uh, you look wonderful. Come, come, come. You must be famished. Let me help you, my dear. There- - Oh, there we go. Eh, that's better. Now, quite comfy, hmm? Ha, ha. Good. It's, uh-- It's, uh, not often that we have such a lovely dinner guest, eh, Eric? Uh, do you like it? It-It is rather a fine one. - Oh, my. - S-Sorry, Grim. Why, Eric, that's the first time I've seen you smile in weeks. Ah, very amusing. Carlotta, my dear, what's for dinner? Oh, you're gonna love it' Chef's been fixing his speciality: stuffed crab. Maurice ChevaIier HowIIove les poissons Love to chop andto serve little fish First Icut offtheirheads Then IpuIIout theirbones With the cleaver Ihack them in two IpuIIout what'sinside andIserve it up fried God, IIove little fishes Don'tyou Here'ssomethingfor tempting thepaIate Preparedin the classic technique Firstyoupoundthe fish flat with the mallet ThenyousIash through theskin Give the beIIya slice Thenyou rub somesaIt in 'cause that makesit taste nice - Oh. - Zut alors! I have missed one. Sacre bleu What is this Howon earth couIdImisssuch a sweet IittIesuccuIent crab Quelle dommage, what a loss Here wego in thesauce Nowsome flour Ithinkjust a dab NowI'IIstuffyou with bread It don't hurt 'causeyou're dead Andyou're certainly Iuckyyou are 'Cause it'sgonna be hot in mybigsiIverpot Eh? What is this? Ow' Yeow' Oh, ow, ow, oh' I think I'd better go see what Louie is up to. Come out, you little pipsqueak, and fight like a man' - Louie' - Ow. - What are you doing? - Well, I-I-I wasjust, uh, uh, uh-- I'm sorry, madame. You know, Eric, perhaps ouryoung guest might enjoy... seeing some ofthe sights ofthe kingdom. Something in the way ofa tour. I'm sorry, Grim. What was that? You can't spend all your time moping about. You need to get out. Do something. Have a life. Get your mind off-- Easy, Grim, easy. It's not a bad idea, ifshe's interested. Well, what do ya say? Would you like tojoin me... on a tour of my kingdom tomorrow? Wonderful' Now, let's eat before this crab wanders off my plate. Come here, boy. This has got to be, without a doubt... the single most humiliating day of my life. I hope that you appreciate what I go through foryou, young lady. Now, we got to make a plan to get that boy to kiss you. Tomorrow, when he takes you for that ride, you gotta lookyour best. You gotta bat your eyes, like this. You gotta pucker up your lips, like this. You are hopeless, child. You know that? Completely hopeless. - Any sign ofthem? - No, Your Majesty. We've searched everywhere. We've found no trace of your daughter or Sebastian. Well, keep looking. Leave no shell unturned, no coral unexplored. Let no one in this kingdom sleep until she's safe at home. Yes, sire. Oh, what have I done? What have I done? - Has he kissed heryet? - Not yet. Oh' Oh,Judy' Yo' Flounder' Any kissing? No, not yet. Hmm. Well, they'd-- they'd better get crackin" Move over. Move your big feathers. - I can't see a thing. - Nothing is happening. Only one day left, and that boy ain't puckered up once. Okay, all right, this calls for... a little vocal romantic stimulation. Stand back' Wow. Somebody should find that poor animal and put it out of its misery. Oh' Geez, man. I'm surrounded by amateurs. You want something done, you've got to do it yourself. First we got to create the mood. Percussion. Strings. Winds. Words. Thereyousee her Sitting there across the way She don'tgot a Iot to say but there'ssomethingabout her Andyou don't know why butyou're dyin'to try You wanna kiss thegirI D-Did you hear something? - Yes - You want her Lookat her You knowyou do possible she wantsyou too There is one way to askher It don't take a word Not a single word Go on andkiss thegirI Sing with me now. Sha-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia My, oh, my LookIike the boytoo shy He ain'tgonna kiss thegirI Sha-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia Ain't thatsad, Ain't it a shame Too bad hegonna miss thegirI You know, I feel really bad not knowing your name. Maybe I can guess. Is it, uh, Mildred? Okay, no. How about Diana? Rachel? - Ariel. Her name is Ariel. - Ariel? Ariel? Oh. That's kind of pretty. Okay. Ariel. Now'syourmoment FIoatingin a blue lagoon Boy,you betterdo itsoon - No time wiIIbe better - Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah She don'tsaya word Andshe won'tsaya word UntiIya kiss thegirI Sha-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia Don't bescared Yougot the moodprepared Go on andkiss thegirI Sha-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia Don'tstop now Don't tryto hide it how you wanna kiss thegirI Whoa, whoa Sha-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia float along AndIisten to thesong Thesongsaykiss thegirI Sha-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia The musicpIay Do what the musicsay Yougotta kiss thegirI Go ahead. Kiss her. Kiss thegirI Whycan'tyou Kiss thegirI Go on andkiss thegirI - Go on and-- - Kiss thegirI Whoa! Hang on, I've got ya. Nice work, boys. That was a close one. Too close. The little tramp! Ah, she's better than I thought. Well, at this rate, he'll be kissing her by sunset for sure. Well, it's time Ursula took matters into her own tentacles. Triton's daughter will be mine' And then I'll make him writhe. I'll see him wriggle like a worm on a hook! Eric? If I may say... far better than any dream girl is one offlesh and blood... one warm and caring and right before your eyes. Ariel! Ariel, wake up! Wake up! I just heard the news! Congratulations, kiddo, we did it! Ooh. What is this idiot babbling about? Right, as ifyou two didn't know, huh? The whole town's buzzin' about the prince... gettin' himself hitched this afternoon' You know, he's getting married. You silly side-walker. I just wanted to wish ya luck. I'll catch ya later. I wouldn't miss it! Well, now, Eric. It appears that I was mistaken. This mystery maiden ofyours does, in fact, exist. A-And she is lovely. Congratulations, my dear. We wish to be married as soon as possible. Oh, yes, ofcourse, Eric, but, uh, these things do take time, you know. This afternoon, Grimsby. The wedding ship departs at sunset. Oh. Oh. Very well, Eric, uh, as you wish. What a IoveIyIittIe bride I'IImake Mydear I'IIIookdivine Thingsare working out according to myuItimate design Soon I'IIhave that little mermaid Andthe ocean wiIIbe mine The sea witch! Oh, no! She's gonna- - I gotta-- Ariel! Ariel! Ariel, I was flying-- I was-- Ofcourse I was flying, and I-I saw the-- the watch-- The witch was watchin' the mirror... and she was singin' with a stolen set of pipes. Do you hear what I'm tellin' you? The prince is marrying the sea witch in disguise! - Are you sure about this? - Have I ever been wrong? I mean, when it's important? What are we gonna do? Before the sun sets on the third day. Ariel, grab onto that. Flounder, get her to that boat as fast as your fins can carry you. I'll try! I gotta get to the sea king. He must know about this. - Wh-What about me? What about me? - You! Find a way to stall that wedding! Stall the wedding. W-What am I? What? That's it! Move it! Let's go! We got an emergency here. Dearly beloved-- Don't worry, Ariel. We-We're gonna make it. We're-- We're almost there. Yes, um, do you, Eric, take Vanessa... to be your lawfully wedded wife... for as long as you both shall live? I do. It being-- And do you-- Oh! Then by the power-- Get away from me, you slimy little-- Oh, why, you little-- Huh? Ahh. Huh? - Ariel? - Eric! You- - You can talk? - You're the one. - Eric, get away from her. - It-It was you all the time. - Oh, Eric, I-I wanted to tell you. Eric, no! You're too late! You're too late! - So long, lover boy. - Ariel! Poor little princess. It's not you I'm after. I've a much bigger fish to-- - Ursula, stop! - Hmph! Why, King Triton! How are you? - Let her go! - Not a chance, Triton! She's mine now! - We made a deal. - Daddy, I'm sorry! I-I-- I didn't mean to! I didn't know! You see? The contract's legal, binding and completely unbreakable... even foryou. Ofcourse, I always was a girl with an eye for a bargain. The daughter ofthe great sea king is a very precious commodity. But I might be willing to make an exchange... for someone even better. - Eric, what are you doing? - Grim, I lost her once. I'm not gonna lose her again! Now, do we have a deal? Ha! It's done then! No! Oh, no! Your Majesty. Daddy. - At last... it's mine. - No. You! - You monster! - Don't fool with me, ya little brat! Contract or no, I'll blast- - Ow! - Why, you little fool. - Eric! Eric, look out! After him! Come on! Ow! Say good-bye to your sweetheart. Aah! Babies! My poor little poopsies. Eric, you've gotta get away from here. No, I won't leave you. You pitiful, insignificant fools! Look out! Now I am the ruler ofall the ocean! The waves obey my every whim! Eric! The sea and all its spoils bow to my power! Eric! So much for true love! She really does love him, doesn't she, Sebastian? Well, it's like I always say, Your Majesty. Children got to be free to lead their own lives. You always say that? Then I guess there's just one problem left. And what's that, Your Majesty? How much I'm going to miss her. Aha! Yes! Thankyou. Thankyou. I love you, Daddy. Now we can walk Now we can run Now we can stay all day in the sun Just you and me And I can be Part of your world [Gulls cry] - [Gull cries] - [Dolphins yap] ♪ I'll tell you a tale of the bottomless blue ♪ And it's, hey to the starboard, heave-ho ♪ Look out, lad a mermaid be waiting for you ♪ In mysterious fathoms below Isn't this great? The salty sea air, - the wind blowing in your face. - [Barks] - A perfect day to be at sea. - Oh, yes, delightful. [retches] A fine strong wind and a following sea. King Triton must be in a friendly type mood. - King Triton? - Ruler of the Merpeople, lad. Thought every good sailor knew about him. Merpeople. Eric, pay no attention to this nautical nonsense. But it ain't nonsense. It's the truth. I'm tellin' ya! Down in the depths of the ocean they live! Oh! Aah! ♪ In mysterious fathoms below ♪ [sighs] [Fanfare of trumpets] [Coughs] His Royal Highness, King Triton! [Coughs] His Royal Highness, King Triton! [Applause, cheering] And presenting the distinguished court composer, Horatio Felonious Ignacious Crustaceous Sebastian! [Fanfare of kazoos] [Applause] - [Both whinny] - Whoa! I'm really looking forward to this performance, Sebastian. [Chuckles] Your Majesty! This will be the finest concert I have ever conducted. Your daughters, they will be spectacular! - [Whinnies] - Yes. - Especially my little Ariel. - Yes, yes. She has the most beautiful voice. Hmm? If only she'd show up for rehearsals once in a while. - [Orchestra tunes up] - [Applause] ♪ Ah, we are the daughters of Triton ♪ Great father who loves us and named us well ♪ Aquata ♪ Andrina ♪ Arista, Attina ♪ Adella, Alana ♪ And then there is the youngest in her musical debut ♪ Our seventh little sister We're presenting her to you ♪ To sing a song Sebastian wrote ♪ Her voice is like a bell - ♪ She's our sister Ari... - [all gasp] - [Gasps] - Ariel! [Male voice] Ariel, wait for me. Flounder, hurry up. [Pants] You know I can't swim that fast. There it is. [Ariel] Isn't it fantastic? Yeah, sure. It's great. Now let's get outta here. Oh! You're not getting cold fins now, are you? Who, me? No way. It's just... It, uh... It looks damp in there. Yeah. And I think I may be coming down with something. Yeah, I got this cough. [coughs] [Whispers] All right. I'm going inside. You can just stay here and watch for sharks. OK. [Whispering] Yeah, you go. I'll stay and... What? Sharks? Ariel! [Grunts] Ariel, I can't... I mean... - Ariel, help! - [Laughs] - Oh, Flounder. - [Whispers] Ariel. Do you really think there might be sharks around here? Flounder, don't be such a guppy. I'm not a guppy. [grunts] This is great. I mean, I really love this. Excitement, adventure, danger lurking around every corner... [screams] Ariel! [Grunts] Oh, are you OK? Yeah, sure. No problem. I'm OK. Shh! Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh! Have you ever seen anything so wonderful in your entire life? Wow! Cool! But, uh, what is it? I don't know, but I bet Scuttle will. What was that? Did you hear something? Mmm? I wonder what this one is. - Ariel? - Flounder, will you relax? Nothing is going to happen. - [Growls] - Shark! Shark! We're gonna die! [Flounder screams] Oh, no! [Grunts] [Flounder screams] - [Growls] - [Flounder whimpers] You big bully! [blows raspberry] [Gasps] [Ariel chuckles] Flounder, you really are a guppy. I am not. ♪ Hmm-hmm, fourteen hundred and ninety-two ♪ Dah-de-dum Dee-do-do ♪ Rum-dim-dim Dee-do-dee-do ♪ - [Ariel] Scuttle! - Whoa! Mermaid off the port bow! [Shouts] Ariel, how you doin', kid? - Whoa, what a swim. - Scuttle, look what we found. We were in this sunken ship, and it was really creepy... Human stuff, huh? Hey, let me see. Oh! Oh! Look at this. Wow. This is special. This is very, very unusual. - What? What is it? - It's a dinglehopper. Humans use these little babies... to straighten their hair out. See? Just a little twirl here and a yank there and violee... Ya got an aesthetically pleasing configuration of hair that humans go nuts over. A dinglehopper. - What about that one? - Ah! This I haven't seen in years. This is wonderful! - A banded, bulbous snarfblatt. - [Both] Oh! The snarfblatt dates to prehistorical times when humans used to sit around and stare at each other all day. Got very boring. So, they invented this snarfblatt to make fine music. Allow me. - [Scuttle coughs] - Music! - It's stuck! - Oh, the concert! Oh, my gosh! My father's gonna kill me! The concert was today? You could make a little planter out of it. I'm sorry! I've gotta go! Thank you, Scuttle! Any time, sweetie! Any time. Yes, hurry home, Princess. We wouldn't want to miss old Daddy's celebration, now, would we? Ha! Celebration, indeed. Oh, bah! In my day, we had fantastical feasts, - when I lived in the palace. - [Whimpers] [Gulps] And now look at me. Wasted away to practically nothing. Banished and exiled and practically starving, while he and his flimsy fish folk celebrate. Well, I'll give 'em something to celebrate soon enough. Flotsam! Jetsam! I want you to keep an extra close watch on this pretty little daughter of his. She may be the key to Triton's undoing. I just don't know what we're going to do with you, young lady. Daddy, I'm sorry. I just forgot. As a result of your careless behavior... Careless and reckless behavior! ...the entire celebration was, uh... Well, it was ruined! That's all! Completely destroyed! This concert was to be the pinnacle of my distinguished career. Now, thanks to you, I am the laughingstock of the entire kingdom! But it wasn't her fault... Uh, well, first, uh, the shark chased us. Yeah, yeah. And we tried to... but we couldn't, and he... [growls] And... And we... Whoa! [Sighs] And then we were safe. But then this seagull came, and it was, "This is this..." Seagull? - [Gasps] - What? Oh! You went up to the surface again, didn't you? - Didn't you? - Nothing happened. Oh, Ariel, how many times must we go through this? You could have been seen by one of those barbarians, by one of those humans! - They're not barbarians. - They are dangerous. Do you think I want to see my youngest daughter snared by a fish-eater's hook? I'm 16 years old. I'm not a child anymore. Don't you take that tone of voice with me, young lady! As long as you live under my ocean, you'll obey my rules! - If you would just listen... - Not another word! And I am never... never to hear of you going to the surface again! Is that clear? Hmph! Teenagers. They think they know everything. You give them an inch, they swim all over you. Do you think I was too hard on her? Definitely not. Why, if Ariel was my daughter, I'd show her who was boss. None of this flitting to the surface and other such nonsense. No, sir. I'd keep her under tight control. - You're right, Sebastian. - Of course. Ariel needs constant supervision. Someone to watch over her, to keep her out of trouble. All the time. And you are just the crab to do it. [Sebastian] How do I get myself into these situations? I should be writing symphonies, not tagging along after some headstrong teenager. Hmm? What is that girl up to? [Sebastian pants] [Gasps] Huh? Ariel, are you OK? [Ariel] If only I could make him understand. I just don't see things the way he does. I don't see how a world that makes such wonderful things could be bad. ♪ Look at this stuff, isn't it neat ♪ Wouldn't ya think my collection's complete ♪ Wouldn't ya think I'm the girl ♪ The girl who has everything ♪ Look at this trove, treasures untold ♪ How many wonders can one cavern hold? ♪ Lookin' around here you'd think ♪ Sure, she's got everything ♪ I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty ♪ I've got whozits and whatzits galore ♪ You want thingamabobs? I got 20 ♪ But who cares No big deal ♪ I want more ♪ I wanna be where the people are ♪ I wanna see Wanna see 'em dancin' ♪ Walkin' around on those... What do ya call 'em? Oh, feet. - [Giggles] - [Grunts] ♪ Flippin'your fins you don't get too far ♪ Legs are required forjumpin', dancin' ♪ Strollin' along down a... What's that word again? ♪ Street ♪ Up where they walk Up where they run ♪ Up where they stay all day in the sun ♪ Wanderin' free Wish I could be ♪ Part of that world ♪ What would I give if I could live - ♪ Out of these waters? - [Gasps] ♪ What would I pay to spend a day ♪ Warm on the sand? ♪ Betcha on land they understand ♪ Bet they don't reprimand their daughters ♪ Bright young women sick of swimmin' ♪ Ready to stand ♪ And ready to know what the people know ♪ Ask 'em my questions and get some answers ♪ What's a fire and why does it... What's the word? ♪ Burn? ♪ When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love ♪ Love to explore that shore up above? ♪ Out of the sea ♪ Wish I could be ♪ Part of that ♪ World ♪ - [accordion] - Sebastian! Ariel, what are you... How could you... What is all this? It's, uh... It's just my collection. Oh, I see. Your collection, hmm. If your father knew about this place... You're not gonna tell him, are you? Oh, please, Sebastian, he would never understand. Ariel, you're under a lot of pressure down here. I'll take you home - and get you something warm to drink. - [Rumbling] - [Ariel] What do you suppose... - Ariel? Ariel? [Rumbling continues] [Ariel gasps] - [Giggles] - Ariel, what are you... Jumpin' jellyfish! Ariel? Ariel! Please! Come back! [Men laugh and chatter] [Accordion] [Laughter] [Barks] [Sniffs] [Gasps] [Man whistles] Max! Here, boy! [Max barks] Hey, come on, mutt. What ya doin', huh, Max? Come on, Max. [laughs] Good boy. Good boy. Hey there, sweetie! Quite a show, eh? Scuttle, be quiet. They'll hear you. Ooh, I got ya. I got ya. We're bein' intrepidaceous. We're out to discover! I've never seen a human this close before. Oh. He's very handsome, isn't he? I don't know. He looks kind of hairy and slobbery to me. Not that one. The one playing the snarfblatt. Silence, silence. It is now my honor and privilege to present our esteemed Prince Eric with a very special, very expensive, very large birthday present. Ah, Grimsby, ya old beanpole, you shouldn't have. - [Applause] - I know. [Grimsby] Happy birthday, Eric. [Gasping] [Growls] Uh, gee, Grim... Ha! [clears throat] It's, uh... It's really somethin'. Yes, I commissioned it myself. Of course, I had hoped it would be a wedding present. Come on, Grim. Don't start. You're not still sore because I didn't fall for the princess of Glowerhaven? Oh, my! Oh, Eric, it isn't me alone. The entire kingdom wants to see you happily settled with the right girl. Oh, she's out there somewhere. I just... I just haven't found her yet. [Grimsby] Perhaps you haven't been looking hard enough. Believe me, Grim, when I find her, I'll know. Without a doubt, it'll just... bam... hit me, like lightning. [Thunder] [Man] Hurricane a-comin'! Stand fast! Secure the riggin'! [Shouting] [Barks] Whoa! The wind's all of a sudden on the move here! Yo! Ariel! [Bell clangs] [Eric] Look out! - [Clanging] - [Screaming] - Grim! Hang on! - [Coughs] [Max barks] Max! - [Barks] - Jump, Max! Come on, boy! Jump! You can do it, Max! [Max yelps] Eric! [Max barks] Is he... dead? It's hard to say. Oh, I... I can't make out a heartbeat. No, look! He's breathing. He's so beautiful. ♪ What would I give to live where you are? ♪ What would I pay to stay here beside you? ♪ What would I do to see you smiling at me? ♪ Where would we walk Where would we run ♪ If we could stay all day in the sun? ♪ Just you and me and I could be ♪ Part of your world ♪ [Max barks] [Grimsby] Eric? Eric! You really delight in these sadistic strains on my blood pressure, don't you? - [Max barks] - A girl... rescued me. She... She was singing. She had the most beautiful voice. Ah, Eric, I think you've swallowed a bit too much seawater. Off we go. Come along, Max. We just gonna forget this whole thing ever happened. The sea king will never know. You won't tell him. I won't tell him. I will stay in one piece. ♪ I don't know when I don't know how ♪ But I know something's starting right now ♪ Watch and you'll see ♪ Some day I'll be ♪ Part of your ♪ World ♪ [Max barks] Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I can't stand it. It's too easy. The child is in love with a human. And not just any human. A prince! [Chuckles] Her daddy will love that. King Triton's headstrong, lovesick girl would make a charming addition to my little garden. [Cackles] [Female voice] Ariel dear, time to come out. You've been in there all morning. [Hums tune] What is with her lately? [Continues humming] - Oh. Morning, Daddy. - Well! [chuckles] [Continues humming] - Oh, she's got it bad. - What? What has she got? Isn't it obvious, Daddy? Ariel's in love. Ariel? In love? OK. So far, so good. I don't think the king knows. But it will not be easy keeping something like this a secret for long. [Sighs] He loves me. Mmm. He loves me not. He loves me! [laughs] I knew it! Ariel, stop talking crazy! I gotta see him again... tonight. - Scuttle knows where he lives. - Ariel, please! Will you get your head out of the clouds and back in the water where it belongs? I'll swim to his castle, then Flounder will splash around to get his attention. - And then we'll go... - Down here is your home! Ariel, listen to me. The human world... It's a mess. Life under the sea is better than anything they got up there. ♪ The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake ♪ You dream about going up there ♪ But that is a big mistake ♪ Just look at the world around you ♪ Right here on the ocean floor ♪ Such wonderful things around you ♪ What more is you lookin' for? ♪ Under the sea Under the sea ♪ Darling, it's better down where it's wetter ♪ Take it from me ♪ Up on the shore they work all day ♪ Out in the sun they slave away ♪ While we devoting full time to floating under the sea [steel drums] ♪ Down here all the fish is happy ♪ As off through the waves they roll, yeah ♪ The fish on the land ain't happy ♪ They sad 'cause they in the bowl ♪ But fish in the bowl is lucky ♪ They in for a worser fate ♪ One day when the boss get hungry ♪ Guess who's gonna be on the plate Oh, no! ♪ Under the sea Under the sea ♪ Nobody beat us, fry us and eat us in fricassee ♪ We what the land folks loves to cook ♪ Under the sea we off the hook ♪ We got no troubles Life is the bubbles - ♪ Under the sea - ♪ Under the sea - ♪ Under the sea - ♪ Under the sea ♪ Since life is sweet here we got it beat here - ♪ Naturally - ♪ Naturally ♪ Even the sturgeon and the ray ♪ They get the urge and start to play ♪ We got the spirit, you got to hear it, under the sea ♪ The newt play the flute The carp play the harp ♪ The plaice play the bass and they soundin' sharp ♪ The bass play the brass The chub play the tub ♪ The fluke is the duke of soul ♪ The ray, he can play The ling's on the strings ♪ The trout's rocking out The blackfish, she sings ♪ The smelt and the sprat They know where it's at ♪ And, oh that blowfish blow [Sebastian laughs] [Sebastian laughs] - ♪ Yeah, under the sea - ♪ Under the sea - ♪ Under the sea - ♪ Under the sea ♪ When the sardine begin the beguine - ♪ It's music to me - ♪ Music it is to me ♪ What do they got? A lot of sand ♪ We got a hot crustacean band ♪ Each little clam here know how to jam here under the sea ♪ Each little slug here cutting a rug here under the sea ♪ Each little snail here know how to wail here ♪ That's why it's hotter under the water ♪ Yeah, we in luck here down in the muck here ♪ Under the sea ♪ Ariel? Oh, somebody's got to nail that girl's fins to the floor. [Seahorse] Sebastian! [Pants] Sebastian, I've been looking all over for you. I've got an urgent message from the sea king. The sea king? He wants to see you rightaway. Something about Ariel. [Gasps] He knows. [Laughs] Hey, let's see now. Oh, who could the lucky merman be? [Clears throat] Come in, Sebastian. [Inhales sharply] I mustn't overreact. I must remain calm. [Squeaky voice] Yes? [clears throat] - Yes, Your Majesty? - Sebastian. I'm concerned about Ariel. Have you noticed she's been acting peculiar lately? - Oh! Uh, peculiar? - You know, mooning about. Daydreaming, singing to herself. You haven't noticed, hmm? Oh, well, I... - Sebastian? - Hmm? I know you've been keeping something from me. [Gulps] Keeping something? About Ariel? - Ariel? - In love, hmm? [Whimpers] I tried to stop her, sir! She wouldn't listen! I told her to stay away from humans! They are bad! - They are trouble! - Humans? What about humans? Humans? [chuckles nervously] Who said anything about humans? [yelps] Flounder, why can't you just tell me what this is all about? Flounder, why can't you just tell me what this is all about? You'll see. It's a surprise. Oh, Flounder. Flounder, you're the best! It looks just like him. It even has his eyes. [Giggles] Why, Eric, run away with you? Oh, this is all so... so sudden. [Laughs] [Gasps] Daddy? I consider myself a reasonable merman. I set certain rules, and I expect those rules to be obeyed. But, Dad, I... Is it true you rescued a human from drowning? I had to... Contact between the human world and the mer world is strictly forbidden. Ariel, you know that! Everyone knows that. - He would have died. - One less human to worry about. - You don't even know him. - Know him? I don't have to know him! They're all the same. Spineless, savage, harpooning fish-eaters incapable of any feeling... Daddy, I love him! [gasps] No! Have you lost your senses completely? He's a human. You're a mermaid. I don't care. So help me, Ariel, I am going to get through to you. And if this is the only way, so be it! Daddy! No! No! Please! Daddy, stop! Daddy, stop it! Daddy, no! [Ariel sobs] Ariel, I... [sobs] Just go away. Poor child. Poor, sweet child. She has a very serious problem. If only there were something we could do. But there is something. Who... Who are you? Don't be scared. We represent someone who can help you. Someone who can make all your dreams come true. [Both] Just imagine... You and your prince... Together forever. I don't understand. Ursula has great powers. [Gasps] The sea witch? Why, that's... I couldn't possibly. No! Get out of here. Leave me alone! Suit yourself. It was only a suggestion. Wait. [Both] Yes? - [Sniffles] Poor Ariel. - I didn't mean to tell. It was an accident. [mutters] Ariel? Where are you going? Ariel, what are you doing here with this riffraff? I'm going to see Ursula. [Gasps] Ariel, no! No! She's a demon. She's a monster. Why don't you go tell my father? You're good at that. But... But, I... Come on! This way. [Creatures moan] [Gasps, grunts] [Pants] [Ursula] Come in. Come in, my child. We mustn't lurk in doorways. It's rude. One might question your upbringing. [chuckles] Now, then, you're here because you have a thing for this human, this prince fellow. Not that I blame you. He is quite a catch, isn't he? Well, angelfish, the solution to your problem is simple. The only way to get what you want is to become a human yourself. [Gasps] Can you do that? My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for. To help unfortunate merfolk, like yourself, poor souls with no one else to turn to. ♪ I admit that in the past I've been a nasty ♪ They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch ♪ But you'll find that nowadays I've mended all my ways ♪ Repented, seen the light and made a switch True? Yes. ♪ And I fortunately know a little magic ♪ It's a talent that I always have possessed ♪ And here lately, please don't laugh, I use it on behalf ♪ Of the miserable, lonely and depressed Pathetic. ♪ Poor unfortunate souls ♪ In pain, in need ♪ This one longing to be thinner ♪ That one wants to get the girl ♪ And do I help them? Yes, indeed ♪ Those poor, unfortunate souls So sad, so true ♪ They come flocking to my cauldron ♪ Crying spells, Ursula, please ♪ And I help them Yes, I do ♪ Now it's happened once or twice ♪ Someone couldn't pay the price ♪ And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em across the coals ♪ Yes, I've had the odd complaint ♪ But on the whole I've been a saint ♪ To those poor unfortunate souls ♪ Now, here's the deal. I will make you a potion that will turn you into a human for three days. Got that? Three days. Now, listen, this is important. Before the sun sets on the third day, you've got to get dear old princie to fall in love with you. That is, he's got to kiss you. Not just any kiss, the kiss of true love. If he does kiss you before the sun sets on the third day, you'll remain human permanently. But if he doesn't, you'll turn back into a mermaid... and... you belong to me! No, Ariel! [muffled] Have we got a deal? If I become human, I'll never be with my father or sisters again. That's right! But you'll have your man. [Chuckles] Life's full of tough choices, isn't it? [Cackles] Oh! And there is one more thing. We haven't discussed the subject of payment. You can't get something for nothing. - But I don't have any... - I'm not asking much. Just a token really, a trifle. You'll never even miss it. What I want from you is... your voice. - My voice? - You've got it, sweetcakes. No more talking, singing. Zip! But without my voice, how can I... You'll have your looks, your pretty face. And don't underestimate the importance of body language! Ha! ♪ The men up there don't like a lot of blabber ♪ They think a girl who gossips is a bore ♪ Yes, on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word ♪ And, after all, dear What is idle prattle for? Come on! ♪ They're not all that impressed with conversation ♪ True gentlemen avoid it when they can ♪ But they dote and swoon and fawn ♪ On a lady who's withdrawn ♪ It's she who holds her tongue who gets her man ♪ Come on, you poor unfortunate soul ♪ Go ahead, make your choice ♪ I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day ♪ It won't cost much, just your voice ♪ Ya poor, unfortunate soul ♪ It's sad, but true ♪ If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet you've got to pay the toll ♪ Take a gulp and take a breath and go ahead and sign the scroll ♪ Flotsam, Jetsam Now I've got her, boys ♪ The boss is on a roll ♪ This poor, unfortunate ♪ Soul ♪ Beluga, sevruga ♪ Come, winds of the Caspian Sea ♪ Larynxis, glossitis Et max laryngitis ♪ La voce to me Now, sing! [Vocalizes] Keep singing! [Vocalizing continues] [Cackles] [Pipe plays] [Barks] That voice. I can't get it out of my head. I've looked everywhere, Max. Where could she be? Well, look at what the catfish dragged in. [Laughs] Look at ya. Look at ya. There's somethin' different. Don't tell me. I got it. It's your hairdo, right? You've been usin' the dinglehopper? No? No, huh? Well, let me see. New seashells? No new seashells. I gotta admit I can't put my foot on it right now. If I stand here long enough... She's got legs, you idiot! She traded her voice to the sea witch and got legs. Geez, man! I knew that. Ariel's been turned into a human. She's gotta make the prince fall in love with her, and he's gotta kiss her. [Sebastian] And she's only got three days! Just look at her! On legs! On human legs! My nerves are shot! This is a catastrophe! What would her father say? I'll tell you what her father'd say. He'd say he's gonna kill himself a crab! That's what he'd say! I'm gonna march meself straight home right now and tell him just like I should have done the minute... And don't you shake your head at me, young lady. Maybe there's still time. If we could get that witch to give you back your voice, you could go home with all the normal fish and just be... Just be... Just be miserable for the rest of your life. All right, all right. I'll try to help ya find that prince. Boy, what a soft shell I'm turning out to be. Now, Ariel, I'm telling ya. If you wanna be a human, the first thing to do is dress like one. Let me see. [Sniffs] - [Barks] - Max? What? Huh? What? Max! [Wolf whistles] Ya look great, kid. - Ya look sensational. - [Barks] [Gasps] - [Pants] - [Sebastian mutters] [Barks] [Eric] Max! Max! - Quiet, Max. - [Barks] What's gotten into you, fella? Oh. - Oh, I see. - [Barks] [Eric] Are you OK, miss? I'm sorry if this knucklehead scared you. He's harmless really, uh... You seem very familiar to me. Have we met? [Max barks] We have met. I knew it. You're the one, the one I've been looking for. What's your name? What's wrong? What is it? You can't speak? Oh! Oh, then you couldn't be who I thought. - [Sighs] - [Sighs] What is it? You're hurt? No, no. You need help? Whoa, whoa, careful! Careful, easy. Gee, you must have really been through something. Don't worry. Don't worry. I'll help you. Come on. Come on. You'll be OK. [Barks] [Woman] Washed up from a shipwreck. Oh, the poor thing. We'll have you feeling better in no time. - [Woman hums] - [Gasps] I'll just... I'll just get this washed for you. [Gasps, splutters] Well, you must have at least heard about this girl. - No! - Gertrude says... When has Gertrude ever gotten anything right? [Burps] - Really. - Madam, please... She shows up in rags and doesn't speak. Not my idea of a princess. If Eric's looking for a girl, I know a couple of highly available ones right here. [Gasps] [Knife glistens] Oh, Eric, be reasonable. Oh, Eric, be reasonable. Nice young ladies just don't swim around rescuing people in the middle of the ocean and then flitter off into oblivion... I'm tellin' ya, Grim. She was real. I'm gonna find that girl, and I'm gonna marry her. [Woman laughs] Come on, honey. Don't be shy. Oh, Eric, isn't she a vision? Uh, you look wonderful. Come, come, come. You must be famished. Let me help you, my dear. There we go. That's better. Now, quite comfy, hmm? Ha, ha. It's not often that we have such a lovely dinner guest, eh, Eric? [Match strikes] Uh, do you like it? It is rather a fine one. - [Laughs] - [Woman] Oh, my. [Clears throat] Sorry, Grim. Why, Eric, that's the first time I've seen you smile in weeks. Ah, very amusing. [sniffs] Carlotta, my dear, what's for dinner? Oh, you're gonna love it! Chef's been fixing his speciality: Stuffed crab. [Gasps] ♪ Nouvelle cuisine ♪ Les Champs-Elysées ♪ Maurice Chevalier [chuckles] ♪ Les poissons, les poissons ♪ How I love les poissons ♪ Love to chop and to serve little fish ♪ First I cut off their heads Then I pull out their bones ♪ Ah, mais oui ça c'est toujours delish ♪ Les poissons, les poissons [laughs in rhythm] ♪ With the cleaver I hack them in two ♪ I pull out what's inside and I serve it up fried ♪ 'Cause I love little fishes Don't you? ♪ Here's something for tempting the palate ♪ Prepared in the classic technique ♪ First you pound the fish flat with the mallet ♪ Then you slash through the skin, give the belly a slice ♪ Then you rub some salt in ♪ 'Cause that makes it taste nice - Oh. - Zut alors! I have missed one. ♪ Sacrebleu! What is this? ♪ How on earth could I miss ♪ Such a sweet, little succulent crab? ♪ Quel dommage! What a loss ♪ Here we go, in the sauce ♪ Now some flour I think just a dab ♪ Now I'll stuff you with bread ♪ It don't hurt 'cause you're dead and you're certainly lucky you are ♪ 'Cause it's gonna be hot in my big silver pot ♪ Toodle-oo, mon poisson, au revoir ♪ - [thudding] - Eh? - [Thudding] - Eh? What is this? Ow! Yeow! Oh, ow, ow, oh! [Screaming] [Crashing] I think I'd better go see what Louis is up to. Come out, you little pipsqueak, and fight like a man! - Louis! - Ow. - What are you doing? - Well, I was just, uh... - I'm sorry, madame. - [Huffs] You know, Eric, perhaps our young guest might enjoy seeing some of the sights of the kingdom. Something in the way of a tour. [Chuckles] I'm sorry, Grim. What was that? You can't spend all your time moping about. You need to get out. - Do something. Have a life. - Shh! - Get your mind off... - Easy, Grim, easy. It's not a bad idea, if she's interested. Well, what do ya say? Would you like to join me on a tour of my kingdom tomorrow? Wonderful! Now, let's eat before this crab wanders off my plate. - [Max barks] - [Whistles] Come here, boy. - [Barks] - [Eric growls] This has got to be, without a doubt, the single most humiliating day of my life. I hope that you appreciate what I go through for you, young lady. Now, we got to make a plan to get that boy to kiss you. Tomorrow when he takes you for that ride, you gotta look your best. You gotta bat your eyes, like this. You gotta pucker up your lips, like this. Hmm. You are hopeless, child. You know that? Completely hopeless. [yawns] Any sign of them? No, Your Majesty. We searched everywhere. We've found no trace of your daughter or Sebastian. Keep looking. Leave no shell unturned, no coral unexplored. Let no one in this kingdom sleep until she's safe at home. Yes, sire. [Triton] Oh, what have I done? What have I done? Has he kissed her yet? - Not yet. - Oh! [Chatter] [Clucking] Oh, Judy! Yo! Flounder! Any kissing? No, not yet. Well, they'd better get crackin'! [Whinnies] [Flounder] Move over. Move your big feathers. I can't see a thing. [Scuttle] Nothing is happening. Only one day left, and that boy ain't puckered up once. OK. All right, this calls for a little vocal romantic stimulation. - Stand back! - [Chirping] [Clears throat] Wa, wa, wa, wa-wa! Wow. Somebody should find that poor animal and put it out of its misery. Wa, wa, wa-wa! Wa, wa, wa, wa-wa! Geez, man. I'm surrounded by amateurs. [Scuttle] Wa, wa, wa, wa! You want something done you've got to do it yourself. First we got to create the mood. Percussion. Strings. Winds. Words. ♪ There you see her ♪ Sitting there across the way ♪ She don't got a lot to say ♪ But there's something about her ♪ And you don't know why but you're dyin' to try ♪ You wanna kiss the girl Did you hear something? ♪ Yes, you want her ♪ Look at her You know you do ♪ Possible she want you too ♪ There is one way to ask her ♪ It don't take a word ♪ Not a single word Go on and kiss the girl Sing with me now. ♪ Sha-la-la-la-la-la My, oh, my ♪ Look like the boy too shy He ain't gonna kiss the girl ♪ Sha-la-la-la-la-la Ain't that sad? ♪ Ain't it a shame? ♪ Too bad he gonna miss the girl You know, I feel really bad not knowing your name. Maybe I could guess. Is it Mildred? [Laughs] OK, no. How about Diana? Rachel? - Ariel. Her name is Ariel. - Ariel? Ariel? Oh. That's kind of pretty. OK. Ariel. ♪ Now's your moment ♪ Floating in a blue lagoon ♪ Boy, you better do it soon - ♪ No time will be better - ♪ Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya ♪ She don't say a word ♪ And she won't say a word until ya kiss the girl [fish chatter] ♪ Sha-la-la-la-la-la Don't be scared ♪ You got the mood prepared Go on and kiss the girl ♪ Sha-la-la-la-la-la Don't stop now ♪ Don't try to hide it how you wanna kiss the girl ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪ Sha-la-la-la-la-la Float along - ♪ And listen to the song - Wa, wa, wa, wa-wa! - ♪ Song say kiss the girl - ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪ Sha-la-la-la-la-la Music play ♪ Do what the music say You gotta kiss the girl [kissing sounds] ♪ Kiss the girl - ♪ Why don't you - ♪ Kiss the girl? ♪ Go on and kiss the girl - Go on and... - ♪ Kiss the girl ♪ - Whoa! - [Eric] Hang on, I've got ya. - [Both cackle] - [Ursula] Nice work, boys. That was a close one. Too close. That was a close one. Too close. The little tramp! Ah, she's better than I thought. Well, at this rate, he'll be kissing her by sunset for sure. Well, it's time Ursula took matters into her own tentacles. Triton's daughter will be mine! And then I'll make him writhe. I'll see him wriggle like a worm on a hook! [Cackles] [Pipe plays] Eric? If I may say, far better than any dream girl is one of flesh and blood, one warm and caring and right before your eyes. [Sighs] [Ariel's voice vocalizing] Ariel! Ariel, wake up! Wake up. I just heard the news. Congratulations. Kiddo, we did it! What is this idiot babbling about? Right, as if you two didn't know, huh? The whole town's buzzin' about the prince gettin' hitched this afternoon! You know, he's getting married. You silly side-walker. I just wanted to wish ya luck. I'll catch ya later. I wouldn't miss it! [Grimsby] Well, now, Eric. It appears that I was mistaken. This mystery maiden of yours does, in fact, exist. [Grimsby] A-And she is lovely. Congratulations, my dear. [Eric] We wish to be married as soon as possible. [Grimsby] Oh, yes, of course, Eric, but, uh, these things do take time, you know. This afternoon, Grimsby. The wedding ship departs at sunset. Oh. Oh. Very well, Eric, uh, as you wish. [Snickers] [Organ plays] [Chatter, laughter] [Cries] [Hums: The Wedding March] [Ariel's voice] ♪ What a lovely little bride I'll make ♪ My dear, I'll look divine [laughs] ♪ Things are working out ♪ According to my ultimate design [laughs] ♪ Soon I'll have that little mermaid ♪ And the ocean will be mine ♪ [cackles] The sea witch! Oh, no! She's gonna... I gotta... Ariel! Ariel! Ariel, I was flying... Of course, I was flying. And... I saw the... the watch... The witch was watching the mirror, and she was singin' with a stolen set of pipes. Do you hear what I'm tellin' you? The prince is marrying the sea witch in disguise! - Are you sure about this? - Have I ever been wrong? I mean, when it's important? What are we gonna do? [Ursula's voice] Before the sun sets on the third day. [Echoes] Day... Ariel, grab onto that. Flounder, get her to that boat as fast as your fins can carry you. I'll try! I gotta get to the sea king. He must know about this. - What about me? What about me? - You! Find a way to stall that wedding! Stall the wedding. W-What am I? What? That's it! [squawks] - [Squawks] - [Chirping] [Squawks] - [Chattering] - Let's go! We got an emergency here. [Squawking, chirping] [Organ plays] [Max growls] [Yelps] Dearly beloved... [pants] Don't worry, Ariel. We're gonna make it. We're almost there. Yes, um, do you, Eric, take Vanessa... to be your lawfully wedded wife for as long as you both shall live? I do. It being... And do you... [squawking, chirping] [Gasps] - [Screams] - [Barks] Oh! [Seals bark] Oh! Oh! Oh! [Screams] Then by the power... [Ursula's voice] Get away, you slimy... - Oh! - [Barks] - [Barks] - Oh! - Oh! - [Chattering] - [Squawks] - Oh, why, you little... [barks] - [Growls] - [Screams] [Ariel's voice vocalizing] [Moans] Huh? [Ariel's voice vocalizing] [Vocalizes] Ariel? - Eric. - [Barks] You... You can talk? - You're the one. - Eric, get away from her. - It was you all the time. - Eric, I wanted to tell you. - [Ursula] Eric, no! - [Moans] You're too late! [cackles] You're too late! - [All gasp] - [Cackles] - [Gasps] - So long, lover boy. - Ariel! - Poor little princess. It's not you I'm after. I've a much bigger fish to... - Ursula, stop! - Hmph! Why, King Triton! [Chuckles] How are you? - Let her go! - Not a chance! She's mine now! - We made a deal. - Daddy, I'm sorry! I-I... I didn't mean to! I didn't know! [Ursula laughs] You see? The contract's legal, binding and completely unbreakable, even for you. Of course, I always was a girl with an eye for a bargain. The daughter of the great sea king is a very precious commodity. But I might be willing to make an exchange for someone even better. Eric, what are you doing? Grim, I lost her once. I'm not gonna lose her again! Now, do we have a deal? Ha! It's done then! - [Ursula laughs] - No! Oh, no! Your Majesty. Daddy. - At last... it's mine. - No. - [Cackles] - You! You monster! Don't fool with me, ya little brat! Contract or no, I'll blast... Ow! - Why, you little fool. - Eric! Eric, look out! After him! [Pants] Come on! Ow! Say goodbye to your sweetheart. [Shrieks] [Both scream] Babies! My poor little poopsies. [Growls] Eric, you've gotta get away from here. No, I won't leave you. [Cackles] [Guttural laughter] You pitiful, insignificant fools! Look out! Now I am the ruler of all the ocean! The waves obey my every whim! - Eric! - [Eric screams] The sea and all its spoils bow to my power! Eric! [Pants] Oh! Oh! [Ursula cackles] So much for true love! [Screams] [All moan] [Murmuring] She really does love him, doesn't she, Sebastian? Mmm. Well, it's like I always say, Your Majesty, children got to be free to lead their own lives. You always say that? [Chuckles] [Sighs] Then I guess there's just one problem left. And what's that, Your Majesty? How much I'm going to miss her. [Cheering] [Chef] Ah-ha! [Chef shouts] [Laughs] Yes! Thank you. Thank you. [Whispers] I love you, Daddy. [Chorus] ♪ Now we can walk Now we can run ♪ Now we can stay all day in the sun ♪ Just you and me ♪ And I can be ♪ Part of your world [chorus vocalizes] Oh, yes? And what time do we call this, then, eh? I don't want to get you out of bed. [ Chuckles ] Here. No good leaving all this stuff for 56B. They're on holiday. What, all of them? Oh, yeah. That Captain Hastings has gone off shooting things, and the secretary's gone off to visit her sister in Folkestone. What about the French one? Somewhere foreign. Sent me a postcard with goats on it. Oh, yeah, I remember. Let's hope it keeps fine for him. [ Horn honks ] [ Indistinct conversations ] [ Sheep bleating ] [ Conversing in Greek ] No, no, no, no. No, no, no. I'm sorry. Please, miss. Thank you. [ Laughs ] [ Sheep bleating ] [ Bell chiming ] [ Dog growls, barks ] Ohh! Pardon. Mr. Poirot. How pleased I am to see you. Mademoiselle... Lyall. Pamela Lyall. I recognized you at the hotel. I'm a great admirer. Ah. May I cling to you, Mr. Poirot? Yes, it would be a pleasure, mademoiselle. You are in danger? It's against all my instincts, but the man persists. And with the hotel being so empty, there's a great danger of my getting stuck for the rest of the holiday. [ Chuckles ] Ah, the galloping Major Barnes. Here for the fishing, he tells me. Ah. The behavior of the English abroad is something I have always found peculiar. [ Both chuckle ] At least he's not a bottom-pincher, Mr. Poirot. [ Conversing in Italian ] [ Laughter ] Look at them -- troublemakers, always looking for a fight. Perhaps. But for me, the English is more cold-blooded. His violence is more calculated. We've spent all day at sea, and my wife's exhausted, so let's get to the hotel as fast as possible, with our luggage intact. Make sure it's secure and stay close behind the other car. Excuse me, but aren't these the cars from the Palace Hotel? Yes. Well? Well, we're staying there, too, you know. Well, you'll have to wait for them to come back. The hotel, please, driver. And try not to hit anything. Come on, darling. Thank you. LYALL: Good heavens, I do believe that's Valentine Chantry. POIROT: Ah. Dakers, it was. I shouldn't think this place was quite her style -- a bit quiet for her. She's rather marvelous, isn't she? Mm. She has married again? LYALL: Number five, I think. POIROT: Oh, mon Dieu. LYALL: Looks a bit of a gorilla, doesn't he? An animal attraction, would you think, Mr. Poirot? Well... Well, well, well, things are looking up. Hello? Hello. Been looking all over the place for you, little lady. Not out fishing today, Major? Yes, earlier. Didn't have much luck. Perhaps, Major Barnes, you were fishing too close to the shore. I noticed you by the harbor. I expect you're right. Too much damn dynamiting going on. Dynamiting? The fishermen drop dynamite around here. Damned lazy beggars. The fish, not being fools, keep out at sea. [ Chuckles ] [ Vehicle approaching ] [ Indistinct conversations ] At last. Now, will you get the luggage off immediately and take it straight to our rooms? I do not understand why we weren't met properly. Well, I think it's simply wonderful. It's so unspoiled. Eh, it's pretty enough, but it's such a long way to come, such an awful journey. You'll enjoy bathing and lazing about. We could have done that in Brixen. Why you wanted to drag us all this way... You'll adore it here, I know. I can see that you mean to enjoy yourself. Oh, well. Give me a bath and a bed, and perhaps it'll be better in the morning. – Tony, darling? – Yes? My cigarette case. She makes me feel so undercooked. I'm so patchy still. She really is so lucky. Oh, dear, that bathing dress is a mistake. Morning. Good morning. Good morning. Lovely day. DOUGLAS: Shall I put yours here, darling? MARJORIE: Yes, so I can get a little bit of sun. I feel so dreadfully faded, but I freckle rather than going brown. Have you ever been to Rhodes before? No. It's lovely, isn't it? ABC, NBC, CNN. Mike. That Canada story... still interest you? Everything interests me. Uh, I quit, Mike. Bullshit. Come on. It all worked out. I did? What do I tell a source on the next tough story? No. What got broken here... So, uh... [Vocalizing] [Ends] THE wind will CARRY US A film by Abbas KlAROSTAMl Where's the tunnel then? We've passed it. When? Someone's been sleeping! Where is it? We've passed it, back near Biston. We're heading nowhere. Read the address to see where it is. How many times do I have to read it? After the junction, we take a winding road. This is the winding road. We're on it. After this road, we head downhill. Then there's a single tree. There are a lot here. - What's after that? - Nothing. I know what there is. Nothing. - Nothing? - There's a road near the tree. I'll tell you what there is. "Near hhe hree is a wooded lane, greener hhan hhe dreams of God." What's after the tree? Read the address. It says a tall, single tree. There's a lot on this hillside. is it very tall? Yes, it says it's very tall. It must be different from the others then. The single tree? There are so many. They're all on the hill. That's what it says here. I don't think this will get us anywhere. There it is. There, look, a single tree! - Where? - Up there. I see it... What a big tree! Look at it. He was right. Jahan, take a look. Where? Too late now, you'll have to look up through the roof but you won't see it. Or through the rear window if you're brave enough to turn round. It's so big! We've passed the single tree. And loads of others. Two more up there. lt's beautiful! I said we're reaching two single trees. It would help if we could ask someone. Don't worry, we'll find someone. We can ask them. Slow down a bit. - We may not find anyone. - We will. This is farmland, they're out working. We have to ask. Don't worry, we'll find someone. I can see a black spot in the distance. Over there. He can't hear us. Wait, I'll go and ask him. Ask that one. Ask her. Hello, ma'am. Hello, I'm honoured. How do we get to Siah Dareh? 200 yards after the junction, turn left. Thank you. Good-bye. Look, it's behind the hill. Wait till we pass that tree. Look into the distance. On the hill. - Siah Dareh's over there? - Yes, that's it. It says: "At the foot of the mountain." Hello, why are you late? - Why are you late? - You've been waiting for us? - Yes. - Who told you to wait? My uncle. I see, your uncle is... Mr Hashemi Masti. It's a long way to your village... lt's not far! Not far? What do you think of your village? I've lived here since I was born, I know it. We're your guests then? Yes. Do I turn left here? - You were waiting for us then? - Yes. Since two p.m. I've been waiting since school finished for the day. My uncle said: "My friends are coming. Bring them to the house." - Did he say why we've come? - Yes. But you mustn't tell anyone. - All right. - Good boy. If anyone asks, say we're looking for lost treasure. Good idea. If anyone asks, say we're looking for treasure. Imagine I ask you: - "What are they here for?" - Treasure. It could mean trouble. Not at all. What a beautiful village! Yes, it's very beautiful. You've hidden it well. We haven't hidden it! The ancestors built it here. It was them then! They built it like this so no one would steal it. Tell me, why do you think they built it here? Because I wasn't there. You weren't here before then? Did you arrive recently? I think the car has a problem. It's stalling. It struggles on hills. The gauge isn't working. Yes, it has a problem. Farzad, get out. - ls there water here? - Yes, over there. Get out, guys, and check the car. Try to find out what's wrong. Has your car broken down? Our car? It's given up the ghost. Meaning? It can't go on. You know, a car is like a man. It needs to rest and restore itself. It's given up the ghost. It's overheating. Can it be mended? Yes, it will work again. Don't ask so many questions or I'll give up the ghost too... at this altitude. I've forgotten my book. - What? - l've forgotten my book. Don't worry, the others will bring it. I have exams. They'll be coming up to join us soon. I have to study. I'll tell them to bring it. I have to study to have a good grade. What a pest... Ali, bring him up the book. Where is it? On top of the dashboard. People always come this way? No, there are several different paths. It's a tough one. This isn't the main path. Where is it? It's a long way off. This path is shorter. - ls that why we've taken it? - Yes. Wait, why are you going so fast? It was the best way! That's what you want. All right, but aren't you the guide? Are you ennoyed? Not "ennoyed", "annoyed"! Annoyed? Not yet, but if you carry on, I soon will be. Welcome, engineer. Hello. - We're honoured. - The honour's mine. This is it. Welcome. This is one of the rooms. What did she say? If it's too small, there are other rooms. Thank you, we'll only be staying a couple of nights. Make yourself at home. This is the bathroom. Another bedroom... That's good. Thank you. - Where's the old lady's house? - Who? - The lady who's ill. - You mean Malek? Yes, son. She lives over there. You can see it from the roof. - Which way? - This way. - Can we see it from here? - Yes. See that blue window? Which one? Over there, near the lady sitting on the steps. You can't see much from here. Let's go up higher, I'll show you. - Which way? - This way. Let's go. Farzad. Why don't you bring us back the soup bowl? I'll return it. I need it. Who is that lady? That lady there? No, the neighbour. Mim Khamman. What does that mean? My aunt on my father's side. - Hello, engineer. - Hello, are you well? - How's your family? - Very well. - Who's that? - My mother. - Are you well? - Yes, thank you. Are you Mr Hashemi's sister? He sends his greetings. He wasn't able to come. I understand. I'm at your service. Farzad, help them bring the gear in. All right. Where are you going? is she your aunt? Yes. Why don't we go to your mother's? She says that our house is too small and that you deserve better. I think your mother's wrong. Small things have their value too. You're small but skilful. I'm going to grow. The house won't grow though. You'll grow up and go to school. - How far does your school go? - Until 11. You want to keep on studying after? I'll go to Momenieh until I'm 15. For the final years, I'll go to Kermanshah. Where is it? Over there, look. It's over there. Look. The blue window. - The blue window? - And that's her son. I see, he's her son. Yes. Where's the cemetery? Up on the hill. I have to go. I'll take the others to Hammad's. Are you worried about them or your book? My book. I have an exam tomorrow. You'll come back? Yes, I'm going to the fields to get my things. Where's the engineer from? Tehran or Hamadan? Get up, you've slept enough, you layabouts. Get up, I've brought fresh apples. This is for Ali and this one for Keyvan. - Hello. - Hello, are you well? I have some fresh bread for you. - What is it? - Bread. We have fresh bread. What more can you want? You won't have another chance like this. This is for me. The big apple is for uncle Jahan. How about that! This isn't Jahan's apple. I think it's yours. Yes, yes, it's coming. Here. All right. - Have you had your share? - Yes. Where are you going? To school. - To school? - Yes. Do you have time to show us the village? No, I have exams. I'll go with you to school. All right. - There's no problem? - No. Where's my camera? Ali, where is it? I haven't seen it. Look in the glove-box. - Wait for me. - Farzad, put the bread there. Hello, engineer. Hello. Farzad, wrap up the bread or it will dry out. Would you like tea? Yes, thank you. My colleagues are sleeping. We'll have a walk and come back. Off you go. Which way's your school? This way and that. You have two schools then? No, there are two paths to school. Where's the square? This way. You don't mind. Come this way, I'll get my camera. What a handsome white village! Why is it called "Black Valley"? The ancestors called it that. Can't you call it "White Valley"? No, we have to call it by its name. It has to stay that way. That's how it is. "When you're fahed ho be black... "... Even holy waher cannoh whihen you." How do you know that poem? Our teacher recites poems to us from time to time. For homework? No. He recites and I learn them. You must be a good student. Yes. Well done! What grade did you get in the third term? We haven't finished our exams yet. In the second term, then? Twelve. And the first term? Ten. When do the exams end? They start today and go on for two weeks. - Good luck. - Come in. How is she? Who? - You don't know who I mean? - Mrs Malek? She's so-so. What does that mean? She's still in bed. She doesn't eat, she doesn't speak. Wait, I'll fetch it. Here. Just a second. I'm tying my shoelace. She can't recognise anyone, she can't speak. What did the doctor say? That there's no hope. - The doctor said that? - Yes. Who's watching her? My mother, the neighbours, the family, my young uncle. Your young uncle? He's called in three times. His holidays are over. My grandmother's better. How old is she? 100... 150... 100 or 150? 100. Special rate? Yes. After one hundred, the rest doesn't matter. Do you know that or not? I don't know. We grow old, you know. I have to go, I have exams. I'll be back. Come back quickly. Don't forget. Hello, Tajdolat. Hello, are you well? Are you looking for something? My camera. We left it here and it's gone. You didn't lock the car. One night has passed, you expect it to be there? Hello, good luck. Thank you. Thank you very much. It's a miracle it's still here. The guys forgot it and didn't lock the car. Welcome. Thank you. You're kind. Here, even if your car's gold, no one will touch it. Opposite the school, the students are curious. It's best to lock it. All right. Are you in telecommunications? Telecommunications? Yes. This place is a world of communication. Why're you here? Yes, that's obvious. I've never seen a woman serve before. Where did you spring from? What? You have parents, don't you? Who served your father his tea? My mother. Why say you've never seen such a thing? All women serve. They have three trades: by day, they're workers. ln the evening, they serve and at night they work. Except for your mother. Thanks all the same! I've told you time and again not to park here. Park next to the engineer. When you start it up, you pollute the cafe. You lose me my customers. Where else can I park? Where the engineer's parked. You choke us when you start it up. We swallow fumes instead of tea. I park right here. You can't. You have no right. It's my cafe, my territory. You can't park your car here. What's wrong? Park where the engineer's parked. What's going on? It's my cafe, my territory. Leave him alone... Mind your own business. I go to a lot of trouble, I work. Serving tea isn't that tiring! There's a difference. My tea relaxes you. Who takes care of me? Are you tired? I'm the one who's exhausted. I've been out harvesting in the blazing sun, in the full heat of summer. is serving tea that tiring? So I'm not working? I don't make efforts? Your work isn't all that counts. Remember the first day that you served tea to your future husband. You appreciated it and so did he. Those days shouldn't be over now. You have to remember that day for the tea... The first days are different from now. Serving tea to your husband is work now? is it the same? Yes, but it's not work. Whether you make tea or serve it, it's work. I serve you tea, it does you good. But no one takes care of me to help me relax. I know you're exhausted. Serving tea is work these days. Don't take any photos. I have three jobs. I have three jobs, not you. And the third is the hardest and most important. Don't take any photos! - l should have kept it. - l'll put it away. - l said no photos. - All right. I won't do it again. Don't men have a third job? Only women? We don't? If men don't do their third job, they'll be dishonoured. Their third job weighs as heavily as a mountain. It's a very hard job to do. It's not as simple as you think. is that wrong? - Mashti Hatam! - What? Come on, come on. The engineer's forgotten his camera again. He's as distracted as me. What's the news? Nothing special. Take care. Mrs Parvin! I'm bringing you soup. May your wishes come true. is she well? Yes. Have you finished? If you hear me, hold the line, I'm going to higher ground. I'm going higher up. Hold the line. If you hear me, I'm not hanging up. I'm going to higher ground so we can talk. If we're cut off, call me back. Yes, hello... It's you. I thought it was Mrs Godarzi. I told you not to call me. I'll call you. Godarzi calls me about work. So why have you brought me all the way up here? I'm sorry, go ahead. Really? When? I can't be there. Tell them you couldn't reach me. How is she? Better? Hello, are you well, father? I'm listening. I'll be home soon. I've bought it for you. lt's red. Put mother on. I have to talk to her. Listen, firstly I'm sorry. Then, my condolences. If someone asks for me, say you couldn't reach me. They don't know I've hired a cell-phone. I'll be back for the seventh day of mourning. I promise I'll be there. Don't talk to me like that. This is the wrong time. All right. ls there anything else? Take care. Hello. Hello. Why aren't you singing now? You sing so well. Go on, keep singing. I dare not. But why? You're down there and I'm here. We can't look each other in the eye. I can't see you. I can see you. What are you doing down there? I'm digging a well. You don't dig wells on hills. - l'm digging a ditch. - Why a ditch? For telecommunications. Why are you alone? Working alone makes things simple. It's good, you don't have a boss. What's that behind you? Turn round... To the left, the one you touched. Careful you don't break it. Try to free it. Pull it out. Toss it up to me. He was tall! It's your size. is it the left leg or the right? It's a leg bone. lt's not a shoe. Are you well, Mrs Godarzi? Thank you, you're very kind... lt's very difficult reaching you. It was the same in Tehran, always engaged. Yes... We're ready. Yes, they're ready too... Everyone's ready. Yes, if you don't mind, when you call, you have to wait a few minutes until I drive up to higher ground. Yes, that very place. Yes, yes. All right. Don't mention it... Thank you... Good-bye. Behzad... Hello. Are you well? - Why are you here? - l've come to see you. How did you know I was here? When I brought the bread, I asked Mim Kharaman, "Where's Behzad?" She said, "He took a towel and went out." You weren't down near the spring. I tried the other side but you weren't there either. You weren't at the spring. How can you cross? There's a bridge. You don't ask how I am? Where were you? We've had no news from you. Nothing! I work in the fields. You're always working or at school. Or sleeping. Mind you don't fall. - You call that a bridge? - Yes. Your personal bridge? All the children use it. - How are you? - Okay. How's the invalid? Who? You still ask who? It's obvious. - Oh, Mrs Malek? - Yes. She didn't eat the soup from Mash Hajer and the others. How many cooks does she have? They're not her cooks. The soup is an offering. All right. Why? If the invalid eats one particular soup the maker's wish will come true. Do you have a wish too? I have one, yes: to pass my exams. I have another one too. What is it? I want Mrs Malek to get better. - To get better? - Yes. Can you find us some milk for breakfast? I don't have any cattle. I'm alone. Tell Farzad to fetch you some. I don't understand... Ask the boy, he'll fetch you some. We're in the country, we'd like to consume local produce. I don't have any. I don't have any milk or cattle. I have a lot of work. Where are the people? Yesterday, walking around the village, I only saw children and old people. The young men work the land. They're farmers. No one's idle here. The old people and children stay in the village. Where are the young people? I just told you: they're working the land. The corn and barley are ready for harvesting. The young people work for three months. In winter, they don't work. They earn their living over three months. In winter, they sit around drinking tea. There's not a lot to do in winter. Apparently, they're not that idle! No, they do nothing. They sit around the stove for warmth. They spend evenings together. Certain produce is sown in winter... And harvested in summer. I don't know. Your harvest will soon be ripe. Congratulations. Thank you. How many children do you have? Nine. Well done, nine children! Yes. How many girls and how many boys? Five girls and four boys. See, you're not idle! May God preserve them. Thank you. You don't want to get up? We have to get up? You don't want to? is there any news? News, but not what you think. But there is something. She didn't eat the soup sent by Mrs Hatcher and Mrs Terayn. Meaning what? Meaning... Hold the line. I'll go up the hill. If we're cut off, call me back. I can't call you. Hello. Are you well, Mrs Godarzi? Sorry, it takes a few minutes to reach the high ground. You can't foresee that. One day she's well, the next she isn't. Her condition varies. We're all waiting. We have to wait. She has company. Her son has come a long way. He's waiting like us. When will we be back? In a couple of days maybe. Good-bye. I knew that warm voice belonged to a warm-hearted man. Hello. How are you? It's deep! Three metres, as stated in the contract with the engineer. I think you may be right. Working alone is better. It's harder... but there are advantages. - Do you understand me? - No. I mean that no one bothers you. A boss. You don't have a boss. Yeah? He comes and disturbs us. She brought me some milk. There. Do you want me to give you some? No, thank you kindly. She brought it for you. I think Farhad dug Biston on his own. Do you know him? Yes. He's a local, he lives three miles away. A local? Well done. But it wasn't Farhad who dug Biston. I know. Who then? It was love. The love of Shirin. Bravo. You know love too. A man without love cannot live. How are you? I'm okay. Where are you going? As usual, we're going to eat strawberries. - Where's Jahan? - Sleeping, as usual. You'll bring him back? You know, he doesn't eat strawberries. Who called? - Mrs Godarzi. - What did she say? Greetings. She wanted news. What did you tell her? Nothing, that it was progressing. Progressing? What is? Eating strawberries is work. - She didn't want any? - No. The strawberries are better in Tehran. Fresh air, fresh milk. I haven't seen any milk. We're not allowed milk here. He's right. Don't be long. Don't go too far! No, we're just here. Good-bye. I have bread for you. Are you well? Thank you. That's kind. You're welcome. - How are you? - l'm okay. How is she? Who? You still ask who? She's well. - She's well? - Yes. How do you know? My mother went to see her. And? My mother says she's well. Has she eaten or not? Yesterday evening, she took her a meal. She didn't touch it. My young uncle fed her. He's fallen out with my mother. They don't speak. Why? He wanted to feed her? No. They fell out a long time ago. Why is he your "young uncle"? - How many do you have? - Three. - Are the others older? - Yes. Bravo. Where are they? One is in Ahwaz, the other in Kermanshah and I don't know where the third one is. Don't they visit their mother? Yesterday evening, my uncle told my mother that his holidays were over. But they've fallen out. How did he tell her? My uncle speaks to her but my mother doesn't reply. - The others aren't coming? - No. Yesterday, my uncle told my mother that he has to go back. He's leaving then? Yes. What about us? I don't know. I have exams that I have to take. Apart from you, we don't have anyone here. I don't know. I have exams. All right, off you go. I'll see what I'll do. Thanks anyhow. Good-bye. Take care. All right. Hello. Have a good day. I've brought water from the spring. Thank you. I've brought fresh bread. Thank you very much. Put it over there. I'll put it here! I'll get breakfast. I'll go and wake my colleagues then. Yesterday, I asked your sister to bring us milk. She probably forgot. It was me. No, I spoke to your sister. No, it was me. - lt was you? - Yes. She was pregnant. I was pregnant. It was you? Yes, in person. Seriously! Yes, I've had the baby and I've come back here to work. Where is it? - ls that your baby? - Yes. - Congratulations. - Thank you. How many children do you have? Ten. Five girls and five boys. Five boys and five girls... Bravo! Thank you. Tell me, can the factory still produce more? How should I know? Give the milk to the baby first. Don't worry about my colleagues. Are you well, Mrs Godarzi? Can you hear me? I can hear you too. Good day. How are you? What can I say? We're all ready. Everything's fine. Listen... Up here... Yes... We're getting bored too but... lt seems to be the only solution. There's no doubt about it. It could be any day now, we can't say... She hasn't eaten for three days. No, there's no doubt. We just have to wait. There's no other solution. Can I ask a favour of you? Lengthen the crew's mission. I promised them... No, probably not. Don't worry. Good-bye. Isn't that ditch finished yet? I've hit a rock. Good luck. I can see, in fact. I can hear. We've reached a dead-end too. You're lucky, you have a pickaxe. We don't have one. We can't do anything. I can provide you with a pickaxe. Our problem can't be solved by a pickaxe. If it could, things would be easier. One blow of a pickaxe would do. Instead of a pickaxe, you can offer me some tea. Please, help yourself. If you give me your Juliet's address, I'll ask her to provide us with milk. In the village, knock on any door and they'll give you milk. I didn't find any. Even at the sea, there's no water for me! Can't I ask her for some? No problem. She's at Kakrahman's. Go to the village... You'll find her there. Kakrahman's house... Ask anyone, they'll know where it is. Get in. I'm not disturbing you? You're welcome. Sorry. - Are you well? - Fine, thanks. Sorry to disturb you. You're welcome, it's my route. I'll take you. I often see you on this road. - You're not a local? - No. You seem to have problems. One problem! In any case, every affair has its own problems. Anything over a hundred years old is considered an antique. What are you talking about? You don't work underground? Because of this bone, you think we're looking for treasure or antiques? I don't think that. I'm almost sure of it. You haven't come for the ceremony? The cat's out of the bag! Our crew was joking with the kid. They said that we've come for treasure. We didn't want people to know why we're really here. His family lives in the village. It's a small village too. That's why he believed it. Later, we told him the secret. When I was little, I felt the same. Whenever someone told me a secret, I always wanted to tell others. And in the end, I would. I think I enjoyed telling it more than I enjoyed keeping it. That's interesting. You're an educated man. What do you think of this ceremony? How can I put it? It's painful. There have been two lines on my mother's face for years. - Lines? - Yes, lines. You mean scars? Yes, scars. They are marked during the ceremony. The first scar was for the death of my aunt. My poor mother did it to show her love to my father. The second, was for the boss of the factory where my father worked. One of his cousins had died. So that my father wouldn't lose his job, my mother mourned a great deal. She scratched her face. I couldn't believe it. There was a lot of competition at the factory between the men to hold onto their jobs. Need and necessity, you see? Everyone played along. There was a great deal of pressure. They all needed work. No question of showing pity or giving in, everyone displayed themselves, pushed themselves forward to please the boss. Each wanted to show that he grieved more than the others. That he was with him. That he was loyal... That kind of thing doesn't interest me. When I think about it, it's painful. let me tell you... I think the origins of this ceremony are bound to the economy. What I just told you is engraved in their memories. lt has been for years and for generations now. You look on it from the outside. It may interest you. But personally... May I get out here? - Where are you going? - To school, this way. I'll drop you. I'll see Farzad too. He has exams, I'll see what he's done. Sir, thank you. Thank you again. Good-bye. Good-bye. - Are those the exam papers? - Yes. - Don't be too harsh on them. - l'm not. Tell our little colleague to come and see me. Excuse me! - What? - Please do me a favour. Don't tell Farzad what we were just saying. All right. Don't worry. Go on, get in the other side. Hurry up, get in. - l can't come now. - Why? I need one more answer for the exam. What is it? The fourth question. - You don't know the answer? - No. Why? Because I don't. What was it? "What happens to the Good and Evil "on Judgement Day?" That's obvious. The Good go to hell and the Evil to heaven. - ls that right? - Yes. No. The Good go to heaven, the Evil go to hell. Hurry in and write that, then come back. Off you go. Help yourself to tea if you want. What? Help yourself to tea if you want. - You want some too? - No, not for me. Do you want tea? No. You're a coward if you come back. Hello, Tajdolat. May your wish come true. Mother says the invalid ate the soup. Put the bowl over there. Hello, Farzad. - Are you well? - Yes. - Where are you going? - To school. - l'll go with you. - Come on. Good-bye. Did the exams go well? Yes. - How's the invalid? - Well. - Well? - Yes. Yesterday evening, she ate Tajdolat's soup. Tajdolat? The serving woman? Yes. She ate it all. - Have there been other signs? - Yes. She's speaking! She's speaking? Come and sit here a minute. What do you mean, she's speaking? My grandmother spoke to my uncle yesterday evening. She recognised him. Then she asked for news of the family... My uncle wept. He asked my mother, "Am I a bad son?" My mother said, "No you're not bad. "You're just very busy." Then they made up. He said he was leaving for Kermanshah to ask for leave, then he'd be back. Fancy that! He's left then. Can you answer me frankly? Yes. Do you think I'm bad? No. - Are you sure? - Yes. How can you be sure? I know. You're good. Well, since I'm good, can you get me a bowl to fetch milk? When I go to the fields, I'll find one. I want it now. It will only take two minutes. I'm late. I have to go. That lady will find you one. Go on. Mim Hamideh, hello. Do you have a milk bowl for the engineer? Yes, by the window. All right. She says to bring the bowl back. I have to go. Off you go. May God give you pride. May God give you good health. May God give you a long life. - Excuse me. - Don't mention it. - Are you well? - Yes, thank you. is Kakrahman's house here? What do you want? Milk? Yes, please. I'd be grateful for some fresh milk. All right. I'm disturbing you. Don't worry. - Are you well? - Yes, thank you. What a fine house. Make yourself at home. is this Kakrahman's house? No. Oh, I'm sorry. I was told to get milk from him. It's next door. Where is Kakrahman's house? Next door. Sorry, I didn't understand. It's next door. Thank you very much. is this Kakrahman's house? Welcome. Good luck. I was sent here for milk. Can you give me some? Go down to the cellar... Watch your head. This way? Go on down. Mind your head. All right. Why is it so dark here? There's a hurricane lamp, it's not dark. is there someone down there? Yes, Miss Zeynab. Zeynab, come here, this gentleman needs milk. It's so dark here. is anyone here? Come in. Can you milk the cow for me? Wait, I'll do it. It's so dark. How can you milk in here? I'm used to it. I work here. You'll get used to it if you stay. I'll be gone before I get used to it. We have a flashlight. The electricity is off. "lf you come ho my house..." What? "Oh, kind one, bring me hhe lamp "and a window hhrough which "l can wahch hhe crowd in hhe happy shreeh." What? Nothing, it was a poem. How old are you? Sixteen. Sixteen. Have you been to school? Yes. - For how long? - Five years. Five years.... That's good. Do you know Forough? Yes. - Who is she? - Gohar's daughter. No, the one I'm talking about is a poet. What's your name? Can't you tell me? It doesn't matter. Okay, I'll recite a poem to you. It will occupy us while you milk. You won't answer me? Go ahead. I was saying that... "ln my nighh, so brief, alas "The wind is abouh ho meeh hhe leaves." Do you understand that? The two are meeting. It's like when you went to see Yossef. At the well. At the well? Bravo. "My nighh so brief is filled wihh devashahing anguish. "Hark! "Do you hear hhe whisper of hhe shadows?" Do you understand the shadows? That means darkness. "This happiness feels foreign ho me. "l am accushomed ho despair. "Hark! Do you hear hhe whisper of hhe shadows? "There, in hhe nighh, somehhing is happening. "The moon is red and anxious. "And, clinging ho hhis roof hhah could collapse ah any momenh, "The clouds, like a crowd of mourning women, "Awaih hhe birth of hhe rain, "One second, and hhen nohhing. "Behind hhis window, hhe nighh hrembles, "And hhe earth shops spinning. "Behind hhis window, a shranger "Worries abouh you and me. "You, in your greenery, "lay your hands - hhose burning memories - "On my loving hands "And enhrush your lips, replehe wihh life's warmhh, "To hhe houch of my loving lips." It's full. "The wind will carry us." The bowl is full. Yes, yes... "The wind will carry us!" I'm one of Yossef's friends. In fact, I'm his boss. Thank you very much. Raise the lamp so I can see your face. I haven't seen Yossef, so at least let me know his taste. You won't tell me your name and you won't let me see your face. At least light the ground so I don't trip up. How long did she study? Who? That woman whose poem you recited. Forough? I think she was in school until the fourth or fifth year. You know, writing poetry has nothing to do with diplomas. If you have talent, you can do it too. How much do I owe you? Don't mention it. Thank you very much. Pay my mother. Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Good-bye. Good luck. How much do I owe you? Three hundred tomans. - Here. - You're welcome. Thank you again. Good-bye. Why did you take the money? Go and give it back to him. He wanted to pay. Sir... You're our honoured guest. No. Keep it. Thank you very much. Really. You honour us. Thank you again. Each of us has a commitment. Each of us has a commitment. I have one too, to my family. I've come here to work too. Listen, don't confuse work and family. We have to know, give or take a day, when we'll finally return to Tehran. You said it would happen in the first three days. You said, "Next week." And then nothing happened. Two weeks and still nothing! - And now? - l promise, within three days. What if it doesn't happen? She seems to be better now. Her son left yesterday. If she'd been in a bad way, he wouldn't have left. How do you know that? We just know. It's not something you can hide from us. She's better, this is useless. You say that you know but you know nothing. First of all, her son is a guard at Kermanshah. He's gone back to warn his boss. It's 45 miles away. He can be back in a day. If we want to go to Tehran, it's 450 miles away. 450 miles, understand? We have to go to Tehran. 450 miles in one day! We didn't say we'd come back... lf no one decides for us, we have to decide for ourselves. I can't decide for you. You decide. I can't decide. God's the one who decides. Who drew up this shooting? I can't strangle her! What am I supposed to do? We're not asking you to strangle her. What then? How much longer do we have to stay here? What if the event never occurs? And what if it does? That means you're in contact with God or the Angel of Death. Who are you in contact with? We can't stay here like this. Who's to say that within a week... I have a feeling it'll happen in the next three days. You keep repeating the same thing! Look, Keyvan, you know what? Give me three days. Just three. Perhaps it will happen. - And what if it doesn't? - let's say it will. We're wasting time. Can't you plan things? Plan things? No, I can't do that. We say the same thing. If you can't do it, who can? Only God can. If it happens, we shoot our report and return to Tehran. All right. We just need to know what to do. Say it takes three months... - Behzad. - Yes. I've brought you bread. Put it over there. Listen, kid, can't you hold your tongue? I can. Who told you to talk about her son leaving? I can't lie. It's not a matter of lying. Who asked you to lie? They asked where my uncle was. I said that he'd left. They asked how he was and you said he'd left. We don't want anything from your uncle. They asked me. I said that he had left. They asked how she was. It wasn't about your uncle. Have they taught you anything at school? Yes. You don't give an answer until you're asked a question. Yes, I've been taught that. I don't want any more bread. You understand? If you have good news, come here. If not, don't bother coming back! All right. - Understand? - Yes. Put the bread down there and go. Hello, engineer. My mother wants to know if you want the milk cold or hot. Warm it up. Good day. There's nothing more to say, Mrs Godarzi. As I told you before. No, it's the same. What? No, we don't know what to do. What does that mean? That's impossible, Mrs Godarzi. That means... we pretend that we've done nothing for two weeks. Put him on, I want to talk to him... I want to talk to him... At least give him my message. I simply can't do that. No. Why do they want the material? No, answer me. Why do they want the material? We don't want to use it as a pillow. Yes... ln any case, that's impossible. Yes... lt sounds as if we're guilty! I'll contact him myself. I'll call... Good-bye. Hello, are you well? - Yes, thank you. - What do you want? Can I have a word with Farzad? Sohrabi? Yes. He's sitting an exam. I know. lt won't take a minute. Please call him for me. Sohrabi! You're wanted. Are you well? Yes. Are you sitting an exam? Yes. is there a question that you can't answer? No, I know them all. I want to apologise about this morning. Do you remember the first day when you asked if the car wasn't working? I answered, "lt's given up the ghost." Do you remember? That day, we were driving uphill. The car gave up the ghost. Yes. It had worked too hard and gave up the ghost. Yes. What did I say? A car, just like men, can give up the ghost. And I'll say it again now... Men, like machines, can give up the ghost. Right? You haven't worked this morning. You're not tired. Yes, but... you know that's not always the case. Sometimes, when you're idle, you give up the ghost. You understand? You go crazy doing nothing. You blow your top! All right, forget it, it's over. Let's be friends again. Shake my hand. lf you can hear me, hold the line. I'm going higher up. Hold the line. I'll see you later. Come on, Behzad. Forget the cemetery, come and eat some strawberries... Hold the line. I'm listening... Hello. He told you that? Did you give him my message? Did you repeat my very words? Unfortunately, I can't do anything. Yes... Yes... Yes... No... Good-bye... Sir... One of your neighbours is buried alive. Go and help him... Where? Up there, in the cemetery. Sir... One of your neighbours is buried alive. Where? Up there, in the cemetery. Yes. Help him if you can. A shovel... Take it and go. It will help. I don't have one. Sir! Sir! Have you seen my friends anywhere? They bought three baskets of strawberries and went. Three baskets of strawberries? Where did they go? Up there somewhere. Run... Run, Farzad. Come on, get in. I'm in a hurry. Get in. - Hello. Okay? - Yes. - Did you sit your exam? - Yes. Get in, let's go. No, I'll walk. You're still mad at me? I apologised. - Come on, get in. - No, I'll walk. I'm going up. Don't you want to come? - Good luck. - Thank you. - Have you seen my colleagues? - Yes, they went that way. Which way? Over the hill? Where? I don't know. They went through that gate. - Towards the hill? - l have no idea. - Did they have the gear? - They had their bags. - Thank you. - May God preserve you. Farzad, I'm going up the hill. Want to come? No, I'm not coming, I'm going to the fields. Come on, get in... No. I'm going to the farm. - Come on, I'll bring you back. - No. Why haven't you got out? Go on, get out. Take the wheel. Give my colleagues the keys. Don't forget. Will he make it, doctor? Yes, he just needed oxygen. A jab and a respirator will put him right. We've sent him to town. Oxygen will save him. - Where are you going? - Down there. There's a sick woman. Perhaps you could see her. All right. - Do you mind? - No, no problem. It's a miracle he survived. He was lucky. The stone got stuck before it struck his head. Then some stones gave way. He was trapped, as if he was in a tiny cell. He needed oxygen. If he gets oxygen, he'll pull through all right. He was covered in dirt. "lf my guardian angel is hhe one I know, "he'll prohech glass from shone." Yes, that's a fine poem. So the "glass" remained intact? Yes, it remained intact. He'll be saved. - Doctor, do you mind if I smoke? - No, you should mind. - What? - You should mind. Not me. lt's no concern of mine if you smoke. The air is so pure here. It'll take more than your cigarette to pollute it. I only measure my strength with my lungs. If you're in good health, carry on. Doctor, what's your speciality? I don't have one. That way, I look after the whole body. If I specialised, I'd be limited. You must have a lot of patients then. Almost no one. I have to ride around, looking at nature's beauty, calling on people, doing the odd circumcision, giving jabs, piercing ears, etc. If I'm no use to others, at least I make the most of life. I observe nature. Observing nature is better than playing backgammon. Or doing nothing. This is the place, doctor. ldleness leads to corruption. Well, well, it's our invalid! She's my friend. She's as old as Methuselah. Hello, are you well? It's been a while! I have things to do. I'll come back. Are you staying? You haven't seen my colleagues? No. Madam. You left the baby! I went to fetch you some milk. You haven't seen my colleagues? No. I only saw them this morning. This morning. And this afternoon? - Did they have the gear? - No, they had nothing. I've prescribed her some pills. Give them to her to ease the pain. We don't have a car to get to the chemist's. Give her medicine. There's none left. What's the matter? It's her prescription. Whose? The invalid's. The old woman? I'll fetch it. Can you drop me off? Yes, of course. Good-bye. Drive safely. I'm like a general without an army. Where do you want to go? I'm going to the hospital. Are you worried about your car or about the victim? What do you think? I think that before we get there, the victim will be up and gone. No, I beg of you, give her the medication. They're painkillers. Two tablets in the morning and two at night, dissolved in water. You said two in the morning and two at night? Yes. When you go to the chemist's, you have to be very determined or they won't give you everything. is it hard to come by? That's not the issue. Chemists are like that. She's suffering, poor thing. We can't do anything. Let her take this and sleep. Doctor, what's wrong with her? Oh, excuse me a second. Speak louder. it's windy. I can't hear you. I can't hear you. How do you know? I said, how do you know? I can't hear. Speak louder. We were cut off. You were saying, doctor... What's wrong with her? Nothing, she's just old and weak. She's just a bag of bones and she's not very well at all. Old age is a terrible illness. Yes, but there are worse illnesses. Death... - Death? - Yes. Death is the worst. When you close your eyes on this world, this beauty, the wonders of nature and the generosity of God, it means you'll never be coming back. They say that the other world is more beautiful. But... who has come back from there to tell us if it's beautiful or not? "They hell me she is as beauhiful as a houri from heaven! "Yeh I say "Thah hhe juice of hhe vine is better. "Prefer hhe presenh ho hhese fine promises. "Even a drum sounds melodious from afar... "Prefer hhe presenh..." Hello. Hello. Director and editor: Abbas KlAROSTAMl Photography: Mahmoud KAlARl Sound: Jahangir MlRSHEKARl Screenplay: Abbas KlAROSTAMl Based on an idea by: Mahmoud AYDlN Music: Peyman YAZDANlAN Produced by: Marin KARMlTZ - Abbas KlAROSTAMl With: Behzad DOURANl A lesson in Cinema "The Wind Will Carry Us" How to find the road? The road and childhood I don't know, there are two kinds of roads. One belongs to childhood. If we believe that a part of us is formed during our childhood, my definition of that road is not a great thoroughfare, it's not a motorway. That's fine for today, but, for me, the road is still the road of my childhood. I never went on a motorway when I was a child. Roads were like this one. It's fairly easy to appreciate a "raison d'être" for these roads. You can tell, people were tired, they couldn't climb the steep inclines, so they walked in zigzags. The first one to do it lays down an invisible trail for those who follow. Like someone walking through snow. Others follow. It becomes a real composition. Man's path finding, Man making his way without today's technological know-how. The road and society The straight road, of course, has a simpler meaning. The straightest road is the quickest one. But mazes and bends seem to me to represent the essence of our movement, as Orientals, third world people, as if the only way forward is by zigzags. Either it's our natural way of walking, be it in town or country, or we just don't know how to go straight. It's as if, on our way to our goal, zigzags make us feel safe. Rounding bends makes us feel safe. So, the straight road, so strongly recommended in our poetry and philosophy doesn't seem to work in reality. "Drive my friends to the house". - Did he tell you why we're here? - Yes. But don't tell anyone. - O.K. - Well done. If they ask you, say we're looking for treasure. Good idea. If anyone asks, we're just treasure hunting. So, if I say to you: - "What are they doing here?" - Treasure hunting! We might have problems. No, we won't. The road and the film One thing I often try to do in my films is to keep in mind my first impressions of a new region. My first meetings with the people of the region. I try to remember what happened on the day I arrived in a new village. How did people react? How did I see them? Familiarity is not a good thing, when you get to know a region, you get used to it. I worked there for six months, I knew it like my own back yard, but I had to recapture my first impressions. The way I saw the people and the way they saw me. I'll ask. Ask that one. Ask her. Good morning, Madam. Good morning, I am honoured. How do we get to Siah Dareh? Turn left at the fork, it's 200 meters further on. Thank you. Goodbye. The mourning rituals with the traditional self-mutilation of the face only exist in two regions of Iran. In Lorestan and Kurdistan. I went to Kurdistan first. I found this remote village and I started to work. I would say, in a film, finding the location is one of the most important parts of the Director's job. The location is as important as the characters in a film. It's the location that makes the film credible. These roads were trails that I had driven down 2 years before filming. And naturally, with the help of my memory, my notebook and my little camera, I tried to relive my first meeting with the region and the inhabitants. How to live in the village? The village and the stranger It's important to remember the first time, the first meeting. It's very difficult to remember how you saw an old friend for the first time when you've known them for years. It's the same here, he's a stranger, he doesn't know the layout of the place. A guide shows him the way to his destination. But, of course, he will always be watching, observing the things and the people around him. That's the difference between him and the child. The child knows the area, he doesn't know it at all. So he looks at all the doors and windows, the people and the streets. Because it's all new. It's normal for the two women on the roof to wonder who the stranger is. Here, the child introduces him to his mother. That was important, the proof that the character is not being used to represent the word "stranger" in an unknown town. In each detail of the structure of the film, he must be seen to be a stranger. We have to see their two different cultures and two totally different goals. I think your mother is wrong. Small things can be good, you're small, but you're good. I'll grow. The house won't. You feel his foreignness again there. The shadows of the people on the walls are watching him while they work. They wonder what he's doing there. They're always surprised to come across the stranger. Because of the shape of his glasses, or his clothes, or because he just hangs around... The village and women That's the real face of the peasant women of the region. In fact, I never saw their faces, they were always on the move, hidden under their huge loads. It's true that women work all day, are waitresses in the evening, and all do the same 3rd job at night... The village and the film I remember on the first location scout, asking people questions, but they never stood still to answer. They'd keep on walking and I'd have to walk with them if I wanted an answer. Then I understood, it was like a labour camp there. Nobody was forcing them, but life was threatening them. They didn't have much time before the winter, they were like ants, stocking up. No time to stop and talk. Their time was limited, as it says in the dialogue. They spend the winter months around the stove, then go back to work. It was the work season during filming. I put people there for the critics and people who would see the film. In fact, I never saw anyone sitting down in the village. I thought people would say I was lazy or couldn't afford the extras! I begged them to sit still one minute, it wasn't easy for a second take. Nobody wanted to keep still. In fact, we do reconstitute, Cinema limits us by imposing the devices of the medium. If we didn't use them, nobody would believe the film. Here, nobody wanted to sit still at all, as they do in the film. They were all working. We couldn't force them to take part in the film. How to reconcile Cinema and reality? The apple This apple seems to slide all by itself into the boy's hands. As it says, such luck does not come to he who sleeps, the apple is reserved for he who is awake. Of course, we gave nature a lot of help. It took a whole day's cementing to get the balcony's slope right. The apple wasn't to go in a straight line, it had to follow routes like we ourselves take. Faced with an obstacle, it tries another route. Persian poetry has defined such movement, as a stream running through a field. Water never runs in a straight line. The essence of its movement is the obstacle, when the flow is hindered, movement occurs. The meandering and ebbing that make a stream beautiful happen when it meets obstacles. That's what we wanted with the apple. A straight line would have been easy, but untrue. The apple follows the same movement as man and it is the boy's share. We worked hard on that shot. You can see, in the "making-of" film, how long we actually spent on that trajectory. I'd like to tell you something. I heard someone behind me on the shoot say: "This isn't a film, this is a joke!" He'd worked with teams who got 40 or 50 shots in the can a day, and here we were, spending ages and ages on an apple sliding the right way. He thought it was a joke, he didn't think it was Cinema. There are details, in life, that are trivial and banal. When Cinema puts them within a framework so that they attract our attention, they take on a whole new worth. That's the thing with frames, they are essential in the Art of photography. Ordinary things, when they are put respectfully into a specific frame encourage a different perception. They find the right space. With Cinema, it is even more so, with the spectator sitting in the dark. With his or her own perception and anticipation, they are willing to concentrate on the most ordinary things. That's how an ordinary little apple can... justify their stop, their conversation, introduce another character, forge a new relationship, show a new culture, an open house... Apparently unimportant things which all have their own meanings. The tea house We're dealing with the logical unfolding of the story. It's morning. The group has spent the night there. One feels the necessity for a form of communication. How to create the dialogue? Sometimes, walking through a park, one naturally talks about the weather. That happens when people are in the same situation, they start by talking about the weather. But this is different, the scene is totally false. It's not artificial, but it's a device because you don't get tea houses in this kind of village. I put it in to accommodate communication between them. They've got nothing else to do, but they are not used to having tea in a tea house. They go home from work for their glass of tea. Cinema imposes these devices on us. You can try to avoid them, but they persist. In some ways, it's a kind of cheating, for example, the tea house. I painted the walls myself, using original drawings as a model. We didn't find anyone there to play the old woman. Everyone was working. She comes from a village near Kermanshah. In other villages, I had always found the villagers wanted to participate in the film. But here, they work so hard, they had no time or inclination to be filmed. We had to go to a village near the large town of Kermanshah to find a woman for the role. But she actually caused a lot of problems. After two days she was fed up. She said: "I don't want to act, "let my daughter carry on, she wants to do it. " It was very difficult to persuade her that she had to finish the film. We couldn't replace her. Different events occur on different films, but they are not just personal anecdotes, they are linked to the local culture. What? You have parents, don't you? Who served your father his tea? My mother, of course. So why do you say that? All women are waitresses. They have three jobs. During the day, they work, they serve in the evening and all do the same 3rd job at night. Except for your mother. When I gave them the dialogues, I didn't think they would get the meaning. But when she had finished her lines, about the 3rd job, she went over to a corner and started to laugh. She covered her face with her yashmak first. She knew all about that 3rd job herself. When we finished filming, the discussion started in earnest. We tend to think that feminism is restricted to progressive, advanced societies. That it only has a place in highly developed countries. But if you scratch the surface, you see that relations between the sexes follow the same patterns the world over. Women are capable of talking about themselves. Sometimes they are allowed and sometimes not. But here, it was a real discussion. Don't men have a 3rd job? Is it only women? Why? If a man doesn't do his 3rd job, he is dishonoured. The 3rd job is as heavy as a mountain on his shoulders. It's difficult, it's not as easy as you think. Am I wrong? The dialogue was supposed to happen on film. But when we'd finished, they started the subject back up in their own language, which is more animated, warmer and more real than ours. The photo It's normal, they have their intimacy and they want to preserve it. They hate having their photo taken. We ask them to act in a film, but taking their photo is very different. That can happen anywhere in the world, in Africa, people would pose in front of our cameras. But others forbade us to photograph them. It depends on the person and their personality, it's nothing to do with Cinema, really. I've seen it on film shoots, a person's disposition, their personality, counts a great deal. No photos! - Was I wrong to give it back? - I'll put it away. I said no photos. It's normal. I'd be the same. You and I hadn't agreed on that camera, it was unexpected. I don't like being in front of a camera myself. I say the same as her when someone points a camera at me. I said: "Please don't" but you filmed me anyway! We all have our own thing... I feel best behind a camera, not in front of one, I don't feel natural or safe in front of a camera. I am only myself when... The village Chance is a wonderful thing, so I don't change a place too much because it would become a studio set. I do use decors, we modified the stairs a little, painted the walls, rebuilt the bridge. But the advantage of a natural set is that you can't change it too much. That labyrinth already existed. I find this house so strange, with the room in the corner. It's difficult to access, the man has difficulty. Obviously the house was built when he was younger. When he had no problem going up the step to get into the room. Today, he has a problem with that step. But it's his house, he's this woman's son. I change or modify as little as possible when I work. I paint things and I clean up. The lower level here was where the animals lived, the cows and sheep. It was full of flies and mosquitoes. We spent a fortune on disinfectant and insecticides. We had to really clean it up before we could stand to work there. I don't think it's a film about poverty. That's not the subject. I can't bear films where the poverty is so overwhelming that it blots out the real subject. In any case, I find too much poverty hard to stomach. We did everything possible to make the images beautiful and pleasant to look at. The forest I kept telling the team to forget the rails for the travelling shots, the lighting gear, the machinery. Nobody listened to me. They probably thought I just wanted to save money, so they bought everything anyway. They packed the lighting gear back up on the first day. We left the dolly out for travelling shots, but the guys who were there to work it started to get depressed. The whole team was there to set up the travelling shots, they had nothing to do... This part of the shot is just a simple pan. It looks more real to me. Let's rewind to see... I let them set the dolly up to cheer them up a bit and motivate them. So we used it for the first part of the shot. But I don't really like it. I suffer every time I see the trees parading through my shot like that. In the other part, it's the same trees, but they don't make me suffer! The travelling shot was to cheer them up and encourage the team to stay motivated. I used the shot, but it gives me no satisfaction. The camera follows its natural movement, that is to say, we don't see it moving. Then, suddenly, the forest starts to move, you lose the impression of trees planted in the ground. They start walking and the shot is painful for me to watch, I don't like it. I regret not using a fixed camera for that shot. They could have done it their way too. In the other part of the shot, the movement is more credible. It's more in harmony with the two living beings, the scale of the trees is right. They are rooted in the ground, not walking, like the people. But in the other part, the men and the trees both start walking. It's a farce! This seems more natural, you see the roots going down into the ground. I sometimes wonder whether the technology, designed to make Cinema better, doesn't make it worse, in some ways. I truly hope I never have to use any of the huge possibilities that are available to filmmakers today. One camera, two or three lenses and a tripod are ample for... The cockerel There's some direction involved here to hold the image and use one shot, instead of three. The cockerel? I don't know if we arranged that, if someone pushed it or not, anyway, it was very welcome. We thought about the role of time. At a certain point, the car is no longer in the frame. Whereas we needed to have a link between the village and the road. The frame stays empty when the car drives off. The dust holds our attention to some extent. Then the herd passing by helps to claim our attention the time it takes to notice in which direction the car is going. So, as soon as the herd is out of the frame, the car comes back in. And the cockerel... it's as if he comes into the frame as a special guest and helps to... Animals help to make everything... the staging of the scene and the atmosphere more natural. They help to make us forget the men and women and above all, the film crew. Their presence is such that even with no one on the screen, we feel the presence of hundreds of people. When a bird appears, its indifference... or a sheep, or another element that pays absolutely no attention to the crew, the scene will play out much more naturally. So, it's difficult to cut it out. I would say the best actor here is the cockerel. It's wondering, where should it go? Where shouldn't it go? It acts better than our actor. In any case, it helps the acting seem more spontaneous, more real. Life Going by the films I see, Cinema today seems artificial, it looks like fabrication. As if we were killing life in order to reassemble it. We turn life into a kind of canned product and call it Cinema. Cinema is canned life. Such intimate and important things happen in life, they seem to me to be outside of all control. Especially outside of a Director's control. It is life that imposes itself on Cinema. We have to show life, not artificial life. We should restore life rather than destroy it. "Canned life" Cinema, fabricated Cinema is very fine work. There's nothing wrong with canned goods, but they are what they are. How to find the links? Seeing and believing You recognize those films in the sound and in the lighting. I believe, unfortunately, that Cinema, when it shows too much, ends up by showing nothing. The spectator is impoverished after such a film. People usually question in order to understand something. People say: "I don't understand the end of your film. " I know why they don't understand, because as soon as we question, we feel that we haven't understood. We should ask questions, not answer them. Hey, Jer emy, you got that staple r emover that we'r e all -- Hey, J.J. - - Hi, Dan. - - Who else is out ther e? - - How you doin'? - - Hi. [ Chuckles ] What's up? Not too much. You r emember when I said don't worry about it? Yeah. Don't worry about it. Should I close the door? As long as you'r e all on the other side of it, yes. What'd he say? He said not to worry about it. Feel like doing some tape work? Yeah, in a minute, but I'm gonna go see Rebecca first. - - Elevator woman? - - It's the menschy thing to do. It is. I could blow her off, but -- - - But you'r e not that guy. - - I'm not that guy. - - This would be a good time to talk to him. - - Leave me alone. 'Cause you can see he's by himself in his office. What makes you think Casey's inter ested in advising me on how I can get Gordon not to br eak up with me? - - He's not, but he'll do it anyway. - - Why? 'Cause he's secr etly in love with you. - - He's not. - - He's only pr etending he's not. We've been through this, you and I. He's pr etending he's pr etending he's not so I think he is, but he's not, but he thinks he is, which doesn't matter, anyway, because I'm in love with Gordon. - - I know. - - Good. But you'r e secr etly in love with Casey. [ Telephone ringing ] What do you need? This will sound ridiculous, but I actually need a staple r emover. Leave me alone. Hey. Hi, there. Listen, you have every right to be mad, but bef or e you say anything, can I just speak? Sur e. Her e's the thing -- I did tell Natalie that I liked you when I met you in the elevator, and I did tell Natalie that I was gonna call you, but then, like a day later, I went out on a date with this woman named Elaine, and then I went out on another date with her, and it's gotten a little serious, which is why I never called you. But I wanted to come up her e and tell you that personally, first of all 'cause I thought it was the menschy thing to do, and second of all because I r eally did like you when I met you in the elevator. Now you should f eel f r ee to yell at me. Who the hell ar e you? It's me. - - Is this a joke? - - No. - - It isn't? - - No. I'm not that good with jokes. You don't have to be good with jokes. This isn't a joke. Jennif er didn't put you up to this? - - I don't know a Jennif er. - - I don't know you. I'm Dan Rydell. We met in the elevator. [ Snaps fingers ] Yes, we did. What can I do f or you? I'm Dan Rydell. So I heard. [ Laughing ] And...her e I am. Yes, you ar e. Jennif er didn't put you up to this? - - Stop w-with the Jennif er. - - Okay. Natalie told me that you wer e expecting me to call you. No. - - You didn't think I was gonna call you? - - No. Well...okay. [ Laughs ] [ Sighs ] [ Engines r evving ] [ Click ] [ Click, r evving r esumes ] Wow. [ Clears throat ] "Wow" what? Those cars ar e going f ast. Yeah, they'r e going as f ast as they can, 'cause the first one across the finish line gets a trophy and a check. - - Like a race? - - Right. What do you need? - - What do I need? - - Yeah. - - You came in her e. - - Right. - - Yeah. - - I just had a strange experience. Wait. Why did you come in her e? [ Laughing ] I...honestly can't r emember. I'll see you later. That woman is crazier than any 10 people I know. She wasn't expecting me to ask her out. Rebecca? Yes. In f act, she... bar ely r emember ed who I was. That must've been awkward. Indeed it was. She didn't r emember you f rom the elevator? Eventually. But first she thought Jennif er was playing a practical joke. Who's Jennif er? Who car es? I was standin' up ther e. So Natalie blew the call. Oh, Natalie blew the call in a big ol' way, yes, but that's not my r eal problem. I want you to take note right now -- I am not asking you what your r eal problem is. My r eal problem is that I seem to have made no impr ession on her at all in the elevator. And then I was talking to her just now... being cute as a button, thinking that she'd say, "Hey, listen, I don't --" "Well, as long as you came all the way up her e, how about a date f or lunch?" - - Something along those lines. - - Yeah. Yeah, but the r eason you went up ther e was to tell her you couldn't go out with her in the first place. Right now that seems beside the point. Does that look like he ran the caution? No. They'r e moving on the outside. Yeah. That's what I thought. I'm gonna go talk to her again. Okay. I'm gonna stay her e and do our job. Is ther e a message you want me to deliver to Luther? No message I want you to deliver. Isaac, I'm on your team. You know, I know you don't think of me that way, but I am a good go-between. I don't need a go-between, J.J. Luther isn't hiding out in the mountains with the r ebel army. Isaac... - - This has got to stop, J.J. - - I agr ee. I worked on newspapers f or 23 years, - - I... -- and I know how to r ead one. - - Isaac... - - Mor e to do with problems on camera? That's not good f or the show. That's not good f or CSC, it's not good f or Continental Corp, and it's not good f or Luther. Give him that message. You know, I wish you'd use me mor e. You know, I think I could help. I suppose you'r e right. Oh, uh, my fiancée is back in town. Do you mind if I bring her to watch the show tonight? I don't mind. Ask Dana. All right. See you later. -- [ Door closes ] - - Do me a f avor, Toni. Run that by Paul or somebody in the general council's office. - - Hello. - - Hey, Don. - - Dan. - - Dan. I just came back because I f elt bad about our first meeting. - - In the elevator? - - No, that meeting I f elt good about until our second meeting, which I f elt bad about. Well, Dan, ther e's r eally no need to f eel bad about any of our meetings. That's easy f or you to say. You don't r emember any of our meetings. It was 10 seconds in an elevator. Yeah, but you've seen me on TV. When have I seen you on TV? I'm Dan Rydell. And we'r e back to the starting gate. Good evening. From New York City, I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall. I'm that Dan Rydell -- "Sports Night." Oh! I've never seen "Sports Night." Don't you work f or CSC? I work f or Continental Corp, so I do work f or CSC, but I'm an analyst. They don't make me watch the show. [ Laughs ] Ther e ar e people who watch it voluntarily. I'm sur e ther e ar e. It's a good show. Yeah, I like the part wher e you said your names. - - We do mor e than that. - - I would think. Anyway, like I said, but f or this woman Elaine, I definitely would've called you. Well, thanks f or stopping by. You bet. Hi. [ Laughing ] I r eally do have to work her e. No, listen, I was just thinking -- I r eally like you. I mean, these little conversations have been kind of f un, and I was wondering if you'd like to maybe have a drink later. Oh, that's -- that's r eally sweet of you. But no, thanks. This thing with Elaine isn't that serious. - - Who's Elaine? - - Exactly. Dan, l-I r eally have got work to do. - - Look, do you want -- - - Dan, I'm flatter ed, honestly, but I'm just not inter ested. Hey, you don't have to hit me over the head. [ Both chuckle ] At least you don't have to do it seven or eight times. It was good talking to you. Yeah, it was a r eal clambake. I'm gonna go scrape my self-image off the floor and then get r eady to do my show, which, um, by the way, can be seen every night on your network. I'll keep an eye out f or it. Ex cellent. [ Chuckles ] What? I just thought of a f unny visual. I may need mor e time in the 20s. - - I can take it out of Seattle. - - Thanks. Don't you want to know my f unny visual? Does it have to do with the Zamboni? - - How did you know? -- 'Cause you like Zambonis. Everybody likes Zambonis. - - Uh, I think you're wrong. - - Ther e ar e people who don't like them? I wouldn't say that, but I'd say that most people ar e probably indiff er ent toward them. Do you think I'm weird? In so many diff er ent ways. Because I like Zambonis? What's on your mind? I don't know how to keep Gordon. I don't know what to say to him. What do you want to say to him? Don't br eak up with me. That's not gonna work. It won't? No. What else you got? Nothing. [ Sighs ] - - You'r e wrong. - - No, I'm not. You've got the truth. I don't have the truth. You'd be amazed at how attractive -- the truth can be sometimes. - - Not f or a woman. - - You'r e wrong. - - The truth is, I have a job that involves me and stimulates me and r ewards me and takes up a lot of my time, and I'm not willing to do my job just a little bit. I want to do all of it. It's part of me, and I am diff er ent without it, and that is who I am, and that is who you need to love. - - Ex cept it won't work. - - Yes, it will. It won't! - - Say it just like that. - - It won't. Dana, any man who hears that and doesn't say, "For a woman like you, f or a person -- f or you, "I will take whatever time you can give me and be gratef ul f or that all my lif e." [ Indistinct voices ] Any man who hears that and doesn't throw you down on the near est flat surf ace -- [ Laughs ] -- is just taking up space f or the r est of us. And you shouldn't need Natalie to shove you in her e anytime you want to talk about something. She didn't shove me in her e. Kim: Five minutes to air, please. First team to the studio. I gotta go. I appr eciate your talking. I can have that time in the 20s? Check back with me. 2 minutes to VTR, 2 1/2 live. "VTR" -- that means a videotape record. That's the taped intro, then they come live to the studio 30 seconds later. - - J.J. - - Isaac. Uh, Judith, this is Isaac Jaff ee, the managing editor. Uh, Isaac, this is my fiancée, Judith. How do you do? So nice to finally meet you. I hope I'm not imposing. Judith, you ar e charming, and you'r e welcome her e whenever you like. Thank you. Watch out f or Isaac and the ladies. This is J.J. 's fiancée, Judith. - - Nice to meet you. - - Hi. Would you give Judith a quick introduction -- to Dan and Casey bef or e we start? - - Sur e. I was thinking about what I said earlier. About what? About cr eating division between the show and the network. I said it's not good f or CSC, it's not good f or the show, it's not good f or Continental Corp, -- and it's not good f or Luther Sachs. - - Yeah. So I asked myself, "Who would it be good f or?" Yeah. I find out that quote in the Journal came f rom you, I'm gonna own your ass. I mean, I'll absolutely own it. They'r e both very nice and very f unny, and they like you a lot, J.J. That's good. Now, you'r e sur e I'm not in the way? Absolutely sur e. Enjoy the show. Roll VTR. 60 seconds live. [ "Sports Night" theme music plays ] Jer emy, what do you have f or a 30-second fill? - - What do you need? - - Something that's 30 seconds. How about a pr ecocious little high-pr essur e system moving in over the Rocky Mountain r egion, cr eating winds of up to 30 miles per hour out of the northwest? Or how about something having to do with sports? Ex cellent. - - You talked to him? - - Yeah. - - What'd he say? - - Nothing. How do you f eel? Better. Dave: 20 seconds live. Have a good show, everybody. She likes you in the elevator, then she pr etends like she doesn't know you? - - She's playing hard to get. - - I don't think she's playing hard to get. I think she has no inter est in me at all. Got to r espect her f or that. I don't even know her, and -- no joke -- I - - I r eally like her. It's little painf ul to me that I'm not gonna be seeing her tonight. [ Chuckles ] You understand what I'm saying? Truthf ully? Yes, I do. Dave: In 3...2... Good evening. From New York City, I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall. Bats and balls, balls and strikes -- let's play ball. It's time for spring training. You hear that, gentlemen? This is the sound of opportunity knocking. Don't be slow to answer the door. J.D. : I still can't believe you did it. I mean, slapping all that money down on the saloon? EZRA: Well, I've been living parsimoniously. J.D. : Parsi-what? EZRA: I've been saving. J.D. : Oh. Now that the down payment's been made... ... allthat'sneededare afewprudent investors to infuse a little working capital. Mr. Jackson? I don't know, Ezra. What do you know about running a saloon? I've spent my whole life in saloons. You may trust I have ample experience. What about you, Josiah? Money is like manure. Not good except it be spread. May I take that as an affirmative? No. Gentlemen, gentlemen, envision the future. Glistening wood, sparkling mirrors, a new piano, lush green felt tables. That does sound good. And it proves you're a smart lad. -You know the answer to the question. J.D. : You bet. -What's the question? -The question is... ... whatdoeseveryone in this town want to do? What does every visitor here want to do? Leave? They want to drink, my friends. They want to hear music and gamble. And where's the only place they can do that? I give you the Standish Tavern. I can hear the jingle of the cash box now. Come along, gentlemen, let's inspect our private gold mine. [chattering ] [WOMAN shouting ] Jeez, Ezra, you sure are right about this place. Excitement's over yonder. Hey, Buck. What's all the commotion? Poker. High stakes. Old Gundersson, he's losing his shirt, but he's not backing down. I think you better take a look at this. GUNDERSSON: I call. [CROWD groaning ] Yeah, that's it. I'm wiped out, sure. You own the place. [WOMAN laughing ] -Mother? -Hello, darling. I just won that sweet little hotel across the boulevard. [vin GRUNTlNG ] chris: Hey. [MEN grunting ] YATES: Hold it! -No need for gunplay here. -l wouldn't be so sure. YATES: This ain't your fight, mister. -Who the hell are you? -Name's Yates. I'm a U.S. federal marshal. Vin Tanner... ... you'reunderarrestfor murder in the sovereign state of Texas. We've come to take you back. Let's go. Marshal Yates, all I'm saying is that a man's actions should speak for him. Couldn't agree more. But I got papers say... ... thisfellowTanner'sactionsin Tascosa were that of a murderer. Just because some papers say it doesn't make it true. A lot of people will attest that Vin Tanner... ... hasriskedhislifemany times to protect this town. Mrs. Travis, I'm not the judge and I'm not the jury. I'm not ever after that bounty on Tanner's head. I'm just a lawman sworn to bring him to trial for the killing of Jess Kincaid. Good afternoon, ma'am. Marshal, you ever heard of a man by the name of Eli Joe? Should I? He's wanted in Texas for the slaughter of two families. Well, what's that got to do with me? Tanner claims this Eli Joe set him up. You know that for a fact? Then what you have to say don't count for much. MARY: I'll wire the judge. You can do that, ma'am, but a territory judge... ... don'thavejurisdictionoverthis . You be careful with that sign. That cost a lot of money. MAN: We'll be careful. MAUDE: Bring it up on the left. Make sure that's well secured, now. That's it. That's good. That's good. World Famous Ritz. How optimistic. MAUDE: I have every reason to be, dear. So, tell me, Mother, which con did you use... ... onourrecentlydispossessed Swedish friend? The floating king? You're very good at that one. There was no need to use sleight of hand. That man's dumber than a shovel. Well, what do you think? Frankly, of all the endeavors I thought you might undertake... ... hotelproprietress was not one of them. Why are you in town? Well, I just wanted to be close to my sweet little baby boy. And look at you. I never thought you'd become a bartender. Owner, Mother. I've become a man of commerce. Madam. May I have the pleasure of welcoming you back to our humble town. Why, thank you... . EZRA: Josiah. -Josiah. You're as handsome as ever. If eyes were meant for seeing, then beauty is its own excuse for being. EZRA: If you'll excuse us, Josiah. Heartwarming family reunion and all. You understand. Oh, of course. [sighs] Honestly, Ezra, you've been as sour as a grape since I arrived. Perhaps that's because I have a distinctly uneasy feeling... ... aboutyouandI both owning businesses... ... onthesamestreet in the same town. Why ever for? Hey, it's not like we're in competition with each other. We're not, Ezra. I provide beds and baths and food for weary travelers. True, and I offer music, gambling and liquor. Well, there you are. Now, you make sure to secure that real well. MAN: Yes, ma'am. I don't want that toppling over on my patrons. Stupid. Stupid. How could I be so stupid? I got too wrapped up with this town and these people. I should've never quit hunting that bastard, Eli Joe, till I cleared my name. All those years of looking over your shoulder... ... sleepingwithoneeye open. That's gotta wear on a man. That's no excuse. I let my guard down. Hey, you know me, Chris. I ain't afraid of dying. I just don't want to go out like that, strung up like some mangy dog. I ain't gonna let that happen. Oh, no. You go messing with a federal marshal, they'll string you up right alongside me. Chris. Larabee. Chris. Gentlemen, can you not picture this becoming... ... thefinestentertainmentemporium in the entire territory? All I can picture right now is them fixing to take Vin away and hang him. Now, son, don't fret. Besides, when we rescue him we'll need a fitting place to celebrate. So, what say you, boys? Are you ready for success? NATHAN: I don't know, Ezra. My daddy used to say, "Best horse you ever saw... ... wasasgoodasthemanriding ." Pure wisdom. Good morning, Luce. How have you been, Buck? I've missed you. All due respect, it doesn't look like you've been missing meals, there, Lucy. [LUCY giggles] Well, it happens when you're going to have a baby. Hoo! -Sweet Lucy's gonna have a baby. LUCY: Uh-huh. -Congratulations. -Same as you. As me? Ha. You're the father, Buck. Hey, Buck and Lucy are having a baby. LUCY: And a wedding too. -What? Oh, my Pa's gonna insist on one. And you know how mad he gets. A wedding. Well, someone should buy a round of drinks. The Lord blesses the union of two lovers, glory to behold. No, no, this is nonsense, all right? It's nonsense. I'm not the father of that baby. I'm not the father of that baby. I'm not about to get married. No, no. [LUCY sobbing ] Well, Buck, it looks like it's time to get yourself a ring and a new suit. [laughing ] Well? I've wired lawyers, courthouses. Anyone who would respond. From what I can tell, there's nothing to prevent them from taking Vin. What about Judge Travis? He's days away from a telegraph office. Marshal's right. He has no jurisdiction. Now, why don't we try going to Tascosa. Fight it there? The minute he steps foot in that town, they'll hang him. vin: Wanna give me some of them beans? Might slow you all down if I'm going empty. [DEPUTY GRUNTS] Let's go! [vin GRUNTlNG ] MAN: The hell you doing? MAUDE: Need ammonia and water. Mother, what are you doing? I'm redecorating. Yes, but poker tables? Selling liquor? I thought we had an understanding. Well, I found those gambling tables in the hotel cellar. Now, am I supposed to let those lovely furnishings... ... languishinadarkanddusty hole? Don't start with me, Mother. I won't sit back and watch you take my business. Your business? Where in the city charter does it say... ... thatonlyyoucan servedrinks and offer gambling? You know what this means? A little war, dear? I'll run you into the ground. Well, we'll just see who buries whom. Well, then, the gauntlet is thrown. Good day. DEPUTY: Yeah, yeah. There you go. YATES: Come on. We can sit here and watch them take him if you want. I'm not. -They're federal marshals. -That's Vin Tanner, Miss Travis. -You're not taking him, marshal. -Kid. -l can handle this, Vin. -You gonna shoot us all, boy? No, just you. Let go of me, preacher. -Excuse the boy, marshal. -Head out, boys. Let's go. -No disrespect? -None taken. Come on. J.D. : You know he's innocent, Buck. -Chris is right. They'll see riders coming a mile away. Easier for one man to cut Vin loose. Chris. We'll be ready when you get back. JOSlAH: Hey, Chris. -Vin's? -Vin may be needing his gun. YATES: Come on. Hold up. Just in case you get any fancy notions. The war has begun. Complimentary. A special at the roulette wheel. All our numbers have... . Excuse me. Did l--? Gentlemen? [drumming AND BELL ringing ] MAN: Four cents? All drinks four cents? [WOMAN screaming ] MAUDE: Scat. Go away, you foul creature. [SKUNK CHlTTERlNG ] [MEN coughing AND shouting ] MAN: Wow, this stuff is crap. Oh, boy. [EZRA GRUNTlNG ] How much did she pay you? Come back here, you coward! You haven't seen me. I haven't seen him. [LUCY crying ] A pleasure palace unrivaled anywhere in the world. CROUPlER: Place your bets, gentlemen. This is the last chance. J.D. : Thirteen, 1 3. Come on, 1 3. Come on, Mr. Croupier. Come on, 1 3. Come on, 1 3. Come on, 1 3. -Hello, Judas. -Oh, hey, Ezra. Thirteen. Thirteen! Listen, J.D., I just want you to know that despite your betrayal... ... I'mholdingyouaspot in the investment. CROUPlER: Red seven is the lucky number. Damn! -For an initial buy-in-- -l can't believe it. I was winning. Ezra, I was winning. I had this system. It was working. Would that be Maude's system, by chance? -Yeah, it was working great. -Until you got cleaned out. Damn! Well, Ezra, dear. Drop in for an apéritif? "Physician on Premises"? Well, I thought it would be a nice amenity for the patrons. Dr. Jackson is fitting in very well. Dr. Jackson? He's not a doctor. Well, he should be. EZRA: Hey, Nathan. Get back here. You can't have Nathan. He's one of my investors. Funny, he didn't mention that when he signed on. Now, can we discuss this another time? I have a rendezvous. Afternoon, Maude. A woman like this renews a man's faith. In what? Hi, Buck. Lucy? What are you doing in here? You're gonna have to leave. Not what you said last time we were in here. Hell, that was a long time ago. Oh, Buck. I've seen all that. You certainly don't have to be modest in front of me, of all people. I think I do now. -Lucy, we gotta talk. LUCY: Don't I know it. There are a thousand things to discuss. The honeymoon. Where we'll live. -Lucy-- -And baby names. I like Randolph for a boy, and Eudora for a girl. -What do you think? -What I think... ... isthatyoucan 'tsee orhear anymore. There isn't going to be a place to live. There isn't gonna be a honeymoon... ... becausethereisn't gonna be a wedding. Okay. And one other thing. No little girl of mine is gonna be named Eudora. [WOMEN gasping AND giggling ] vin: I figure it's been a while since you boys were in Texas. YATES: That right? Yeah. Texas is thataway. Just shut up and ride. EZRA: Here we go, gentlemen. Here you go. Hey, I need me another drink over here. I was not made for honest labor. Inez: Then let me do it. Do what? Tend your bar. And clean and make repairs. Until you and I really get the place going. By then you'll make me your partner. Listen, señorita. Uh, I am not looking for a partner. And you certainly cannot tend bar here. And you can? You see that gentlemen at the end of the bar? He'd eat you like half a sandwich. Would you care to bet? One dollar. I serve him. Any trouble, you win. Fine, be a dollar more than I made yesterday. Inez: What will it be? Well, now, ain't you just a pretty little frijole. I need me a rye whiskey. Comprende? Sí, señor. Now I need me a kiss. -Do you? MAN: Yeah. No kiss, no money. -l see. -Get ready for some heaven. There's your kiss. What's your name? Inez Rocios. Well, Señorita Rocios... ... welcometoyournew job . All these men deputies too? Sure. Soon as I steal them some badges. vin: Well, well. You're a long way from home, Eli Joe. Well, I figured I'd see some more of this beautiful country. Look up old friends. Hang him. Sure went to a whole lot of trouble not to face me alone. ELl JOE: You're thinking it's cowardly. I think it's smart. See, I know all about your six amigos. You all been making quite a name for yourselves around here. Real proud of yourself, ain't you? ELl JOE: Yeah, I suppose. But it had to be done. See, I haven't been sleeping too well ever since I pinned that murder on you. Your conscience bothering you? [chuckling ] I ain't got a conscience. How about Jess Kincaid? You killed an innocent farmer just to frame me for murder. Got you off my trail, didn't it? This little voice inside keeps telling me... ... VinTanner'sgonnacome looking for me. Settle out both scores. So I figured I'd find you first. I'm glad I did. Let's do this. Gotta get back on the trail. MAN: Take cover. YATES: Don't let him get away. Get him. What took you so long? I thought you might need this. Yah! Now, now. No need to rush in all at once. One at a time, if you please. Yes, you sir. A whiskey? Why, of course. Be my pleasure. This here's our finest single malt. Join you? I'd be honored. To your health, sir. [EZRA laughing ] I have an idea. About what, a bank we can rob? About food. I think we should offer something to eat, like the hotel does. Try it. Muchas gracias, señorita, but I am drinking my dinner. Have you lost your mind? The sign outside says drinks for a penny. What next? Pay people to come in here? My God, at this rate you'll be broke in no time. Well, isn't that the object of your little exercise, Mother? Might as well help it along. MAUDE: Oh, and that you have. I have just come from the bank... ... wherel discovered that you paid your own money... ... tobuythisglorifiedshack. Well, who else's money was I supposed to use? Somebody else's. Anybody else's. -Right. -Ezra, rule number one: Never run a deal on your own money. Lord, I thought I taught you better than that. What have all my efforts been for? [chuckling ] Your efforts? Your efforts? [GLASS SHATTERS] Exactly what effort have you ever exerted... ... thatwasn'tentirelyself-serving? Children. Would you like to try some? Mmm. Muy bueno. For you, Daddy. BUCK: Oh, thank you, Eudora, my little pumpkin. You ready? [singing "HUSH little BABY"] WOMAN: Wake up, Bucky. Wake up, Bucky. Oh, sorry, honey. I gotta go. I don't want to be late for work. Bye, honey. BUCK: Ohh... . JOSlAH: Go on in, Brother Buck. Sanctuary's always available for the troubled soul. I'm not troubled. What makes you think I'm troubled? Okay. Forget I said it. -Say, Josiah. -Yep. Have you ever thought about marriage? Well, animals mate. Plants grow, flowers bloom. Seems to be the natural order of things. Maybe that's it. lt ought to be natural. Right? It's not something that's forced on you. JOSlAH: Exactly. Then again... ... couldbethefates sending you a blessing. BUCK: Yeah? Fine wife. The life of a child. Most men would live and die for that. Yeah. Well, tell me this. How do I know that Lucy is the one for me? I mean, I hardly know her. Seems to me that would be a good starting point. lf you want it. Well, what do you mean? Get to know the girl. Circled back two miles. Looks like they gave up on us. Probably fixing to break camp and get the hell out of here. If they're smart, that's what they'll do. He ain't getting away this time. I'm gonna drag that murdering sack of dirt back to Texas... ... andhe'sgonna tell the jury the truth. I don't know, Vin. The truth and Eli Joe don't seem a likely mix. I've lived with Kiowas and Comanches. I know a thing or two about getting the truth out of people. I look forward to seeing that. Too bad we gotta keep him alive. Since we do, we'd best get us some help. Come on. J.D. : Hey, Buck. Josiah. We gotta ride. Split them up. Everybody takes a man. Feller in the serape's mine. All right, boys, like we planned. vin: Hold it right there. [MEN grunting ] MAN: Don't shoot. Don't shoot. vin: You're finished, Eli. Yates? Where is he? Where is he? I got no problem killing you. Won't change the fact he's gone. Took off early. Got a head start out of the territory. I guess he knew you were coming. [YATES GRUNTlNG ] I'm gonna find him, wherever he is. I think you'll find this room delightful. It has a lovely view down Main Street, just as you requested. I call it the presidential suite. The very best appointments. I'm expecting new linens from the capital soon. ELl JOE: Oh, this is gonna do just fine. Well, you enjoy your stay, now. ELl JOE: Mm. NATHAN: Come on, move. Come on. chris: Take him inside. MAN: Don't push. -l hear you're going after Eli Joe. -Yes, we are, ma'am. -How long will you be gone? -However long it takes. Way we figure, Eli Joe is just a day ahead of us. Where to first? -What's this all about? -Thought you could use some help. I'm much obliged. But my business with this man is mine and mine alone. Got no argument there. lt's just, it's awful big country out there, is all. We all ride, one of us is bound to cross his path. Mathematical certainty. You got a chance to finish this now. You may not get another one. Alrighty, then. Meet up at my wagon in 20 minutes. -Vin, good luck to you. -Thank you, ma'am. Twenty minutes? Long enough for a man to get to know someone. Right? [MAN laughing ] [LUCY laughing ] Buck! Uh... . Buck, honey. I think you can drop the "honey" part. Oh, Buck. I'm sorry. I sure never wanted you to find out about Luther this way. -Luther? -What? is that your name, boy? -Well, yeah. BUCK: Luther? -You gotta understand, Buck. -What do I gotta understand? Luther is the father of my baby. But he wouldn't admit it. So l-- Well, I made a play for you, Buck. Oh, wait, are you telling me I was second choice to him? No, no, it was only a play to force his hand. So I wasn't any choice at all? Listen, mister, I love her and we're getting married. I couldn't stand by and watch her marry another, because-- Because she's, you know-- You know, and I'm-- BUCK: What, you--? -Not you. You sure got a way with words, there, Luther. Certainly do. [sighs] Thank you. [SCOFFS] ELl JOE: So long, bloodhound. [MAN speaking in spanish] vin: Howdy. Don't ask. chris: Vin! [WOMEN screaming ] Hold your fire! Hold your fire. Don't kill him. Surround the hotel! J.D. : Got you, Buck. vin: Take him alive! [gasping ] My presidential suite. I'll take the roof. J.D. : There. There he is. [vin GRUNTS] [BOTH grunting ] We've got some unfinished business in Texas. JOSlAH: All right. Take him away. I know you wanted him alive. You did what you had to. I can't clear my name if I'm dead. Well... ... youwin,Mother. You alwaysdo. Well, of course, darling. I've known you since you were an itty-bitty baby. That's always gonna be my trump card. That's a mother's advantage. Now, come here and give me a kiss before I leave. EZRA: You're leaving? But your place is a gold mine. It's booming. Well, that's the whole idea. You buy a depressed property. You get it going... ... andsellit at the height of it's popularity. I made a fortune. Spend it in good health, Mother. Oh, I already did. I reinvested it in another very depressed property. You aren't. You can't possibly be. Yes. The new owner of the Standish Tavern. Banks are delighted to sell paper on imminent foreclosures. Foreclosure? You don't have to thank me. I knew that you'd just about die with embarrassment. I just dropped by to make final arrangements. I can't leave without ensuring that my interests... ... arelookedafter by someone I can trust. Oh, no. Never. I will never work for you. Fine, if that's your attitude. I'll find another bartender. Bartender? Then who's the manager? I came. I saw. I conquered. Wait. Just tell me one thing. Why? Why here? Why me? Somebody's got to keep you sharp, son. We're business people. And we're the best at what we do. Don't ever forget that. Yes, indeed. Previously on Vanished... Jeffrey's home. Please never call here again. In the blink of an eye... Mrs. Collins, you have a call on our house phone. It sounded urgent. ..the wife of a US Senator vanished... She have any enemies? She teaches second grade. You have any enemies? But before they can find out where she is... - She's gone missing before. - Twelve years ago. Not only did Sara disappear, but the story did, too. ..they left to find out who she is. Her name's Nicki Johnson. 12 years ago I asked her to marry me. I never saw her again. Now, the mystery is just beginning to unravel It's Jessica. - Your ex-wife ? - I don't understand. They've never met before. Jessica Nevins, the Senator's ex-wife is considered a person of interest and investigators are attempting to locate her. Daddy, what is it? What aren't you telling me? It's Amanda McNeal. The wife of Curtis McNeal. He was the mayor of Atlanta. Killed back then, kept on ice until now? It's a prayer card. 24 hours ago, Sara Collins, wife of Senator Jeffrey Collins, vanished. We're here at the home of Senator Jeffrey Collins, who is about to issue his first public statement since his wife's disappearance. I'm concerned about Judy Nash and her allegations of marital difficulties. She's fishing. At some point, we have to address it. J.T. You're all right, dad? No. I'll come see you when I'm done. Have you heard from your sister? She's just being Marcy. Don't worry, okay? All right. Senator! Listen... I know how you feel. This is a mistake. You have no idea how I feel. Sara could be anywhere. I don't even know if she's alive. You offer a reward before the abductors issue demands, we're going to lose the advantage. What advantage? She's out there, pregnant. You haven't found my ex-wife, and my daughter's MIA. Your daughter's not missing. She just didn't want to be here. You know, I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I sure as hell can't sit here and do nothing. We're going to break into the 11:00 news, we need to go now. All I care about is my wife, and the only way you're going to stop me is if you pull out that gun and shoot. Senator! If you're gonna do this, do it right-- look straight into the camera. There's a good chance the perp's watching, and if he is, he's enjoying your pain. Let him. We get lucky, maybe we can draw him out. Thank you. All right. Okay. Here he comes. Tonight I'm offering a reward of $2 million for any information leading to my wife's safe return. Go in tight. I urge anyone with information to call the 800 number issued by the FBI. I would... For the sake of my family, for the sake of Sara's family, just please... Please give her back. Senator! Senator! And that was Senator Jeffrey Collins speaking from his home in Buckhead, Georgia. The disappearance of his wife Sara has aroused national attention. Judy, does the FBI have any leads in this investigation? Well, Jeff, all we know is, Senator Collins' ex-wife, Jessica Nevins, is being sought as a person of interest. Officials now confirm she was registered at the Biltmore Hotel on the night of the current Mrs. Collins' disappearance. Officials urge anyone with information to contact the Sara Collins hotline immediately. Thanks, Jeff. All right, thank you, Judy. That was Judy Nash... Cap, forget about it. It's not her. Messages of support and concern have been flooding in from around the country, as Sara Collins' disappearance approaches the 48-hour mark. WCN has been covering the story since... Sara Collins hotline. Yeah. I have information about the missing woman. What is the nature of this information? I know her. Or I knew her. But she had a different name: Nicky Johnson. And when was this, sir? 12 years ago. And you believe that woman is Sara Collins? Yeah, I do. Your name, sir? Peter Manning. M-A-N-N-I-N-G. 27 hours. I got two calls from the director's office. He's got half of Capitol Hill breathing down his neck. Yeah? Well, if they want to do something constructive for a change, give them a badge and let them help. I'll put that in the suggestion box. We got the DNA back on these hairs we found in Jessica Nevins' hotel room. They're Sara's. Pulled out by the root. Is there enough to issue a warrant for Miss Nevins? No. But we're monitoring her credit card accounts, all her known acquaintances. She sticks her head out of the rabbit hole, we got her. And Amanda McNeal: Where are we at with the prelim? Body's still frozen. M.E. can't autopsy until it thaws out. Guys, Dockery's got something. Surveillance footage from the Biltmore garage four minutes after Sara disappeared. There's our Taurus. And there's Valera. Sara's probably tied up in the backseat, maybe the trunk. All right, I want subpoenas for every exterior surveillance camera in downtown Atlanta-- security cams, traffic cams, weather cams, Convenience stores, ATMs. And you can wake up every judge in town, if you have to. Wilson, Cats, let's go. Christo. Yep. When the footage comes in, overlay it on the gris map. We get lucky, maybe we can trace Valera's escape route. You got it. All surveillance cam footage from the 900 block of Shortridge. Thank you. Any idea just how many cameras big brother's got pointed on downtown Atlanta? 8,200, give or take. Excellent. I need this. Make it happen. I'll download the SANs and work it up. Graham. Max Collins said he didn't know his mother was in town, right? Lab just ran prints lifted from Jessica's hotel suite. We got a hit. Max, it's your fingerprints. This isn't what you think. What were you doing in your mother's hotel room? She wanted to talk. About what? About Sara. Whether you guys were still happy, same as always. Since when do you two have an "always" kind of relationship? What do you want me to say, Dad? She was a crappy mom, but for the last six months, she's been trying to make up for it! She wants to be a part of my life! Okay. Do you have any idea where she is now? No. I swear. If I knew anything. I can handle it from here. Okay. So, if he loves Sara so much why did he lie to us about seeing his mother? He didn't lie to us, he lied to his father. Huh. Your parents are still married, aren't they? Okay, so Jessica's angry enough to manipulate her son. You think she's angry enough to go further? Angry ex-wives don't leave their last vic on ice and a prayer card at the scene. Angry ex-wives have friends. Hello? Are you alone? Yeah. What's going on? I said I didn't want the FBI protection. Did Dad have me followed anyway? I don't know, Marce. Probably. Are you with Ben? No. I slept in my car. What are you talking about? I'm scared. Look, whatever's going on, just come home. I can't. Not yet. The FBI wants to talk to you. They know you and Sara were fighting. How do they know that? I told them. You didn't tell them what it was about, did you? No. I swear to you I wouldn't tell anyone. This is bad, Max. I got to go. Can I have a lemonade, please? Shh... How well do you know your boyfriend? You all right? Not so good. Why won't you let me assign you some protection? I don't need a baby-sitter. You must need something or you wouldn't be here. I need to know if this is Sara's blood. Where this come from? I'll tell you, if it's hers. How long is it gonna take? You can use my phone to call your father. Not right now. He's worried sick, Marcy. You should think about it. Got a call from Judge Rainer. He wants to stop by. No. It's not about the confirmation, Senator. He wants to stop by as a friend. You think right now I give a damn about Wallace Rainer? Jeffrey, that hearing isn't till the day after tomorrow. If there's something you're not telling me... All right. This afternoon. He's got ten minutes. Okay, here's our Taurus coming out of the Biltmore service garage. We pick him up 50 yards away on a surveillance cam at Commerce Bank. Valera's headed west. We catch him on a traffic cam at this intersection. We catch him on the library's weather cam. Got the results back on that fabric swatch. Blood's AB-negative. Sara's O-positive. It's not her blood. So whose blood did Marcy bring us? Run it through CODIS for DNA. Okay, there's Valera's starting point. Let's roll it. Okay, we lose him here for a minute as he passes out of the CBD, but keep watching. Looks like he's headed toward the 20. Which puts him west toward Alabama. Roll it back. The weather cam time code puts them at the on-ramp at 7:22. Now roll it back. But this traffic cam puts him at the tunnel at 7:18. So why did it take him so long to get to the on-ramp? Traffic doesn't seem to be an issue. Go full frame. Keep your eyes on this SUV. Freeze it! The Taurus is right behind the SUV entering the tunnel. There's the SUV exiting, but where's the Taurus? The Taurus must have pulled over inside the tunnel. That's our transfer point. If there was a handoff, both vehicles would've interrupted traffic flow. That compare who's going in... with who's coming out. Other than Valera's Taurus, no interruption. Okay, Sara may still be in that tunnel. McNamara, let's get blueprints. Mei, Tac Team on standby. Let's go. Five Lincoln want a team leader. The tunnel is secured. This is team leader. Good to go. Valera stopped somewhere in here in the northbound bore. North and south tunnels are linked by three cross passages-- here, here, and here. They're used for ventilation and maintenance. Access shafts run off each cross passage. So what about these? Relief ducts. They leed right into the drainage system It's like a maze. Perfect place to hide a body. Live or otherwise. Okay, listen up! Sara Collins may still be alive in this tunnel structure. Weapons down. Eyes up. Let's move. You gonna be able to pick anything up through these walls? It's a crap shoot. Kelton, we've got something. It's definitely blood-- fresh. that's a fingerprint. Nice and clean. Almost like someone made it on purpose. Run it! Plenty of room for Valera to pull over. There should be a cross passage about three yards from there. Tac Team leader, bring that *** down by agent Mei. Guys... It's Sara's. We got a heat source. Wherever the reading's coming from, it's not on the blueprints. Let's go. All right, we got something. It's about five meters down the access shaft. Hold your 20. Lin's team will be on the flip side of the shaft in three minutes. This is Alpha to Staging Command. Can't read you. We're going in. There's our heat source. That looks like a piece of her dress. She was here. Check it out. Cover! Alpha, this is Staging Command. Do you read me? Do you read me? ! Kelton, answer me, damn it! Monroe! Where's Kelton? I couldn't get to him. There was too much debris. We can't get through. Roof collapse. I repeat, we cannot get through. All right, call in Search and Rescue now. Kelton, do you read me? Do you read me? Kelton, answer me. Kelton, talk to me now. Come on! This is Alpha. I'm okay. Search and Rescue's traveling. Monroe! This is Alpha to Staging Command. I've got my location. Look for a manhole cover... It's number... nine... It's number 929. That Nathan card wasn't a coincidence. That perp knew I was going to be on this case. You think he has an ax to grind? I don't know. I cross-referenced the word Nathan with the number 929. II Chronicles 9:29 talks about the prophet Nathan. Nathan passage, Nathan card... Why it's relevant, I have no idea. Perp could be a religious fanatic. What's his profil say? His taste is consistent. Both Sara and Amanda are attractive, civic-minded politicians' wives. High profile, soft target. How hard did they look at Amanda's husband Curtis McNeal? With a fine-tooth comb, even though he was mayor at the time. There were rumors of an affair. He took a lot of heat from the local press. Nothing stuck. Well, let's call him in for the notification. You haven't cut yet? You ever defrost a chicken, Agent Kelton? It takes time. Your decident Amanda McNeil has minimal freezer burn. Best guess: She was kept in an airtight industrial refrigerator. Any idea of cause of death? I can't say for sure until I cut. Given the petechial hemorrhages, she probably died of asphyxiation. No ligature marks-- so, maybe drowning. What about time of death? Gray at the roots. A little over an inch. Average growth is half an-inch a month. So she was alive about two months after her last visit to the hairdresser. That was the day before she disappeared. Two months. That's plenty of time to party. Hey, Joe. Take it easy there. - Sorry, Cap. - Bucket up. Hey! You're eating my sandwich. Well, finders keepers, right? I was hungry. You're not from around here, are you? Nope. Well, enjoy. I'm looking for a job. At Monty's bar, they're looking for a waitress. It pays crap, but the sandwiches are free. I could work on your boat. My boat? Now see, I get a boat, it's gonna be a thing of beauty. They see us coming, they'll roll over and beg. Why am I telling you all this? Because... you're hoping I saved you half a sandwich. Name's Peter. I'm Nicky. Wallace. Good to see you-- circumstances aside, of course. Please, have a seat. Pam, uh, wants you to know that if there's anything she can do... I appreciate that. We're... both completely devastated by all this which... makes it difficult to ask. Then don't. I wish I didn't have to. But I'm under a cloud. And you put me there, Jeff. I think you owe me a little clarity. Clarity? That's what you really want? How many years have I known you and Pam? Since law school. That's a half a lifetime. And the fact that you're not out there leading the charge for my nomination... I'm waiting for the hearings. To learn what? To spare you the humiliation. To find you a way out. What are you talking about? How the hell could you think it's okay to sleep with a teenage girl? ! I don't know what you think you've heard... Are you calling my wife a liar? You know damn well what I'm talking about. I'm giving you a dignified out, Wallace. Take it. I have to make this official, sir. Is that your wife? Amanda McNeil? I've got to get out of here. I understand. You don't understand a damn thing. Sir, Amanda's body surfaced in connection with Sara Collins disappearance, so I need to know where you were Tuesday night. Uh, fixing the irrigation in my orchard. Did you have any company? Yeah. Peaches. Does that count? Look, I don't have an alibi. - Is that what you want to hear? - No, not really. Look... I've lost my wife... I've lost my friends... I've lost my city. Look, Agent Kelton, you do what you want. I've had enough. It must be quite a change to go from running a city to running an orchard. Do you ship the peaches right after harvest? Why? I'm just wondering if you have a refrigeration system on your property. Now look, you listen to me. I did not kill my wife. You want to know who took Sara Collins, don't waste your time talking to me. Talk to the senator. Why would I do that? Because he knows who did. You think you know what's going on. You haven't even sucked one drop off the tip of that iceberg. Listen, your wife was alive for two months before they killed her. Now, either they wanted something from her... or they wanted something from you. Best way to get to a man is through the woman he loves. That's how they control you. Who? Do you know how she was killed? We believe she was drowned. Where? Oh, my God...! This is all my fault. It won't end. You give Jeff Collins a message from me. He can fry in hell. No! It was a damn witness interview. I did not see that coming. Graham, there was nothing you could've done. I pushed him there. You don't push someone to take their own life after a two-minute interview. If you keep beating yourself up, you're no good to this case and you know it. All due respect. Did you get a sense of what might have set them off. Guilt. Guilt? They kidnapped Amanda because they wanted something from him. And when he didn't give it, they killed her. And he never told anyone. You think the senator's going to make the same mistake? No, I'm not going to let him. But he's holding back and I want to know why. I hear you're having a lousy day. Now is not the time. Before you get the wrong idea, I liked McNeal. He was the first politician I covered and the last one who came out clean. That's good. Maybe you should put it in his obit. Maybe I will... if you tell me why you were with him when he killed himself. That's a good question; you come up with an answer, why don't you give me a call. Speaking of calls, do you care to comment on this one? Mom, it's Sara; I need to talk to you. About Jeffrey. It's important, so call me as soon as you can. Where'd you get that? We both met with Sara's parents. I guess they liked me better. They'll get over it. The Senator and Sara-- the marriage wasn't as perfect as everybody thought, was it? Off the record. On the record. No one's is. Ice machine's ready, Cap. How 'bout you? Last beers, boys. You're dating nothing but swordfish for the next three weeks. Yeah! Yeah, yeah, kid, she's hot as a torch, but you don't know anything about her. - I know plenty. - Yeah? Where's she from? Somewhere else. Why'd she leave? Who cares? Her past doesn't matter, long as her future's with me. Oh, Petey, ever since this girl came to town, you got a dream in your head where your sense ought to be. - You know what, Dad? - What? You're right. Petey... I love you, Nicky Johnson. Marry me. Marcy came to see me. She's fine. Thought you'd like to know that. Why didn't you bring her home? She's 18. She's still my little girl, Agent Kelton. I'm sorry about that, but there was nothing I could do. What we need to talk about is Curtis McNeal. Yeah, I just heard. It's terrible. So what aren't you telling me, Senator? Excuse me? Look, I've worked a lot of kidnaps, but this one's different. They're trying to get to you, and they're trying to get to me. Why? I have no idea. Why did Curtis McNeal believe that you know who killed his wife and who kidnapped yours? I -- even met the man. It was a dying utterance. The courts give those weight for a reason. The man killed himself. Obviously, he was unstable. All right, your son lied, your daughter ran, and now you're stonewalling me-- if I don't get complete cooperation from your family-- now-- Sara's going to end up as dead as Amanda McNeil. Or maybe that doesn't bother you. If I knew anything that would help find Sara, I'd tell you. Plausible deniability might work in Washington, but it's not going to help you in a criminal investigation. Mom. I told you not to come. You want me to leave? No. Come here. Why are you staying here under a different name? You didn't tell anyone. No. I want to know what's going on. Why is the FBI looking for you? Max, Max, sit down. The FBI probably wants to talk to me because I said some nasty things about your father. Well, then just talk to them. Get it over with. It's a little more complicated than that. Sara's missing and Dad's a wreck. If you know something, tell me. You know, the worst thing about the divorce wasn't losing your father. It was losing Marcy and you. Mom... Look, you got to trust me, okay? Everything's going to be just fine. Hi, there. I'm Judy. Who are you? Becca. You're the lady on TV. Stay here, Becca. We'll be right back. I brought your phone back. You haven't played the message on TV yet. I will. I made a copy. Mrs. Jerome, I have to ask you one more time. Where did your daughter go when she disappeared 12 years ago? I already told you. I don't know. This may be important. I'll tell you what's important. Everyone believes Jeffrey's a victim in this. I need them to hear my daughter. Look, I've called the hotline, like, five times. Why the hell hasn't anyone called me back? ! You know what? Forget it. Don't bother. Hey, you seen Nicky? She'll show up. Don't worry. Come on, Peter, we gotta go. Are you in or are you out? Cast off the bow lines. We're good to go, first thing. Bring her back in one piece, Joe, you're goin' without me. Did you hear back from the city planner? Yeah. She confirmed that viaducts were built over the old rail lines. What used to be on street level is now a subterranean ghost town. Well, Valera and his cohorts must have used that to hide Sara 'cause after we lifted our roadblocks, it would've been easy to move her. Yeah, well, we might've identified one of those cohorts. This Bluetooth you found, turns out the units are embedded with 48 bit identifiers. This one's synced to a cell phone. You got a number? Better. I got a name. Marcy's boyfriend. Ben Wilson. - Ben. - Hey. I need to know what's going on. What are you talking about? Why was there blood on your sweatshirt? You took it, didn't you? I need the truth, Ben. Believe me, it's better if you don't know. Don't try to protect me. I can't stand that. Okay. Someone paid me to deliver that money. Who? I didn't think it was a big deal. The delivery went bad. A guy got hurt, but it was nothing to do with Sara and it was nothing to do with me. You're lying. - Marcy, no... - Stop it! A man broke into my car. He warned me about you. I don't know what to believe anymore. Believe me. You want to get away from your father, don't you? Not like this. It's for us, Marcy. The thing is... I'm gonna need that money back. Where is it? That man. He took it. Got your 911. What's up? Amanda McNeil. The refrigeration unit shut down. Must have some kind of short circuit. That is crap. Whatever caused it, the accelerated decomp liquefied her organs. Not much chance I'll be able to confirm cause of death. That was not an accident! This is Judy Nash coming to you live from outside the Collins Estate in Buckhead. Last night, the FBI launched a tactical assault on the Quarry Tunnel in connection with their search for Sara Collins. Although the cause is unknown, the assault ended in near tragedy with a structural collapse. The FBI has released the identity of one of the men believed to have abducted Sara. That man is Mark Valera, found dead in the trunk of his own car two nights ago. Anyone with information about Mr. Valera is asked to call the hotline. The FBI is also continuing their search for Jessica Nevins. Since her divorce from Senator Collins, Ms. Nevins has been linked with several Washington power brokers. Investigators are eager to locate her. Meanwhile, Sara's parents have provided WCN with a copy of the panicked voicemail that has raised so many questions about the Collins' marriage. Mom, it's Sara. I need to talk to you. About Jeffrey. It's important, so call as soon as you can. Senator Collins has yet to comment. On Day Two of Sara Collins' disappearance, this is Judy Nash. Ten bucks says the senator finally grants an interview. Yeah, with anyone but me. Good news is, they talk about the tape, they have to talk about you. It's not good enough. Never is. Look out! Are you insane? ! Judy Nash? Hey, hey, hey. Back up, man. Yeah? You want an exclusive? Sara Collins isn't who she says she is, and I got proof. Yes. All right. I'll only have a few minutes. All right. That shouldn't be a problem. Okay,it won't be a problem. jeffrey's home. Please never call here again. Honey... - jeffrey. - Hey,darling. - You're home early. - Is that a problem? - No - No? Close your eyes. Come on. Okay. All right. Oh,my. They're gorgeous. But why? Tonight is your night. You're going to be hearing a lot of speeches from people and... I'm not going to bore you with one of my own. I'm just...very proud of you. Jeff,there's something I need to tell you. - sara. - Hi. Senator,we still have to meet with the governor's people. And security's now requested we arrive an hour earlier. Thank you. You should get ready. Was there something...? No. Later,when it's,um... when it's just us. All right. Shall we? Okay. Don't reference the early readers program, at least 15 people in this room voted against it. you are on in 5 minutes we need to go over this..... nancy....just try out A good time tonight,okay,for my sake? ...Bill that'll mean 180 million in my district alone. Do my best to get it out of conference. Thank you. I'll just take a hundred mil,no complaints. Where's your sister? Like I keep tabs on marcy. - Hey,chief. - Max. - Good to see ya. - Senator. Hey. Congratulations. Thank you very much. Becky Thank you for all your charity work,mrs. Collins. It's a necklace. Thank you. It is lovely. Hey,put it on. Um... go great with that dress. i made it from real microrony but you can't eat it because it is over paint Becky,that is good to know. - bye. - Bye. Excuse me. Mrs.Collins,you have a call on our house phone. Who is it? She didn't say,but it sounded urgent. What do you bet it's marcy. urgent kinda gets her way I'll take it. - Thanks,darling. - I'll be right back. - Mrs.Collins,Your work is an inspiration. - yes? - Oh,thank you. - Robert rubia. - If you'll excuse me. - Certainly. Doj new deputy attorney general. Senator. What can I do for you,mr.Rubia? Supreme court... with confirmation being 3 days away I was hoping perhaps... I'm sorry. What were you hoping? That you publicly declear your intention To vote with the party for the president's pick. I'll vote as I see fit. I understand that you need to feel independent, be your own man on this one. This is not a political function. I'm here for my wife. I won't take up any more of your time. It's good to see you,senator. What in the holy hell is he thinking about? Excuse me,but where's sara? She's taking a call. I just checked. She's not in the lobby and she wasn't in the ladies' room. Ladies and gentlemen, if you please take your seats. The program is about to begin. Excuse me. ...And if you don't have it,maybe janet, Call janet for any numbers.... have you seen a woman,brown hair, light colored dress? Mom, you won't believe this. Something ate our TV antenna. - Oh, Hogarth... - No, no! I'm serious! Oh, but it's not Sputnik, like Mr. Stutz thought. Hogarth... - No, it's a robot! No, really, it is! - Hogarth... Hogarth... - And the robot, it's 100 feet high! - Please... - Hogarth! - And it eats metal! Stop it! Just... Stop. I'm not... (SIGHS) I'm not in the mood. Come on. Let's go home. (THUDDING) (THUDDING) MAN: A peaceful stay-at-home kind of day, in a town very much like your own. But then, suddenly without warning... (EXPLODING) Atomic holocaust! But how does one survive an atomic attack? Hey. Did you hear about crazy Mr. Stutz? (LAUGHS) He says his boat ran into a sea monster. I heard it was sunk by a meteor. No, no, no. It was a metal meteor. - It ate his boat. My dad says... - Ah... It wasn't any of those things. What would you know about it, Poindexter? - Hogarth! - Shh... Don't make me come over there. (A CAPELLA MUSIC ON VIDEO) (EXPLOSION) (WHISPERING) It's about 50 or 60 feet high and it only eats metal. Shut up, you little spaz! It's probably been sent by foreign enemies to take over the country. We should bomb it to smithereens before it does. (MUSIC CONTINUES) ('50s MUSIC PLAYING) Why's a nice girl like you serving coffee to a guy like me? Particularly when I have the right to refuse service to anyone. I'm sorry about yesterday. I, uh... I'm usually, hmm... (LAUGHS) Not like that? (LAUGHING) Right. Oh, it wasn't your fault. Hogarth just... I think he's lonely. Yeah. Well, he's a good kid. Hey, come on outside. I got something to show you. DEAN: Thanks for the scrap, Floyd. Sorry I can't pay you more. But it, it's got this, - um, this large bite out of it. - (MACHINE WHIRRING) That's why I'm selling it. It's got a large bite out of it. What could've done this? - I told you what. - Oh, yeah. (SNICKERS) Strange invaders. Thanks for believing me. I really did call the government. Yeah. They're sending someone to take care of the whole thing. Jeez, Earl. You really are crazy. I mean, who in the hell would the government send? Kent Mansley, United States Government, Unexplained Phenomena Department. - Marv Loach. I'm the foreman here. - What happened here? Not sure. Sometimes the line'll snap if the weather is bad, sure. But for a whole tower to get twisted up like that, whoa! It's got me beat. It's almost like it was bitten off by some enormous beast. Enormous beast. Yeah, what do you think? Escaped gorilla? Uh, what department is that again? Frankly, I'm not at liberty to reveal the particulars of the agency I work for and all that, that implies. You mean, uh, national security? (CHUCKLES) Let's put it this way. Every once in a while, things happen that just can't be rationalized in a conventional way. People wanna know that their government has a response. I am that response. So, were there any witnesses? Well, sir, if you'll just follow me. - (METAL CLANKING) - We did find this. MARV: United States Government, huh? Guess that means something big's happening here, eh? No, Marv. Big things happen in big places. And the sooner I fill out my report, the sooner I can get back to them. Enormous beast, yeah... (CHUCKLES) Biggest thing in this town is probably the homecoming queen. Oh, my God! - Come on, Marv. Come on. - MARV: Okay. I need a witness. It's around the corner. Come on. - Pick up the pace here. - Don't pull so hard. I've never seen anything like it. It's like a big, big "chomp" - out of the side of the car. - Take it easy... It's like a bite out of a ham sandwich, like a, uh... (GASPS) What uh, what are we looking at here, Mr. Manley? Something big, Marv. Something big. HOGARTH: Hello! Come out! - Hey, big metal guy! - (METAL CLANKING) - I got food here for you! - (METAL CLANKING) Metal! Crunchy, delicious metal! - Come and get it! - (METAL CLANKING) (FLASH POPPING) (METAL CLANKING) - (BIRDS TWEETING) - (CROWS CAWING) - (CLANK) - (GASPING) (PANTING) (THUDDING) (THUDDING) - (THUDDING) - (HOGARTH GRUNTING) (PANTING) (CRASHING AND GRUNTING) (GROANING) (METAL CLANKING) (CREAKING) (THUDDING) So, I guess you're not gonna hurt me, huh? (GASPING) (METAL CLANKING) HOGARTH: The shutoff switch. You saw me save you. So, where are you from? You came from the sky, right? From up there? Don't you remember anything? Hmm. Maybe it's that bump on your head. Do you talk? You know, words? "Blah, blah, blah," like that? Can you do that? "Blah, blah, blah?" (GRINDING) Well, you get the idea anyway. Let's see. See this? This is called a rock. Rock. (GARBLED) Rock. Good. Rock. Yes! (UPROOTING) - Rock. - No, no. That is a tree. Rock. Tree. Get it? Rock. Tree. That's right! Wow! My own giant robot. I am now the luckiest kid in America! This is unbelievable. This is the greatest discovery since... I don't know, television or something! I gotta tell someone. I should call some... No, they'll panic. People always wig out and start shooting when they see something big like you. - Hmm? - Oh, wig out. It means crazy. You know, like, uh... (SPEAKING GIBBERISH) No, no, no! Don't do that! That's the kind of stuff that makes them shoot at you. MANSLEY: Two nights ago, at approximately 1900 hours, sat com radar detected an unidentified object entering Earth's atmosphere. Losing contact with it two-and-a-half miles off the coast of Rockwell. Some assumed it was a large meteor or a downed satellite. But my office in Washington received a call from someone who reported an actual encounter with the object. This is no meteor, gentlemen. This is something much more serious. So... So, we can't call Ripley's Believe It or Not because they wouldn't believe it. - And... - (WAKES UP WITH A START) Oh, it's getting dark. And if I don't get home soon Mom's gonna wonder where I am. If she comes looking for me and sees you then we got the screaming problem again. So, for now, would you, you know, just... Just stay here, okay? I'll come back tomorrow. (METAL CLANKING) Wow. Well, goodbye. (GIANT'S FOOTSTEPS POUNDING) No, no. Me go. You stay. No following. Good. (GIANT'S FOOTSTEPS POUNDING) I told you! I'll come back tomorrow! Now, stay! (GIANT'S FOOTSTEPS POUNDING) HOGARTH: No, no, no! Bad robot! (GIANT'S FOOTSTEPS POUNDING) Look, you can't go stomping around and you can't come with me. My mom will wig out. - (LAUGHING) - That's right. So you have got to stay in the forest, and I'll bring you some food tomorrow. But I gotta go home now. So, goodbye. (CLANKING) Hmm... Hey. (METAL CLANKING) - Hey, wait a minute! - (METAL GRINDING) What do you think you're doing? Look at this mess! (TRAIN BELL RINGING) (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS) Oh, no. Put it back! Put it back right now! Help me! I need your help! Good, good! (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS) Okay, put them together. See, like this. This one here, that one there. - Okay, over, over. Good, good. - (METAL CLANKING) - Now the other one. - (TRAIN BELL CONTINUES RINGING) Okay. Good enough. Let's go! - What the... - (TRAIN APPROACHING) That's fine! Leave it alone! The train is coming! The train is coming! Come on, let's go! (CRASHING) - (THUDDING) - (SCREAMING) (THUDDING AND CLANKING) Oh, no, no, no, no. - (THUDDING) - (GASPING) You're alive! (BEEPING) (BEEPING CONTINUES) MAN: Hello? Anybody out there? Oh, we're in trouble now. MAN: Are you all right? Look, I've changed my mind. You can follow me home. Okay. Let's go. - (PHONE RINGS) - (WOMAN CLEARS THROAT) Mayor's office. What? A train accident? WOMAN: What do you mean, he hit a giant creature? What creature could be big enough to... I need your car. - (ENGINE STARTS) - (TIRES SQUEALING) (BEEPING) (WHIRRING) (BUZZING) (BEEPING) (METAL CLANKING) (CLINK) Hmm... Wow! You can fix yourself? Neato. (GASPS) Uh-oh, Mom's home. Just stay here, okay? - (CAR DOOR CLOSING) - I'll be back. Bye! Bye. Hmm? (MEN TALKING INDISTINCTLY) MANSLEY: What happened here? Go on. Tell him what you saw, Frank. You're not gonna believe this, but it was a giant metal man. (CLINK) Does anyone know where I can get to a telephone nearby? Would you say grace, please? Oh, my God! Um... Oh, my God, we, uh, thank you. For the food that Mom has put in front of us and... Stop! The, the devil from doing bad things and, uh... Get out of here! Ah... Satan? Go! Go, so... That we may live in peace. Amen. Amen. That was, hmm, really unusual, Hogarth. - Forgot to wash my hands. - Well, uh, okay. (FLOOR SQUEAKING) - (HOGARTH GASPS) - MAN: (ON TV) Tomorrowland... Promise of things to come. (GRUNTING) (WHISPERING) Stop, stop, stop! All right. Come on. Come on. Over here. Oh. (GRUNTING) (CLANKING) - (CLATTERING) - Oh... Come on. Come on, over here. Come on. Hey there, scout. Kent Mansley. - I work for the government. - (DOOR SLAMMING) - (GASPING) - ANNIE: Hogarth? (KNOCKING AND DOORBELL RINGING) ANNIE: Hogarth? Hey there, scout. Kent Mansley. Work for the government. Your parents home? - We're eating. - Mmm, boy. Who's there, honey? Oh, hello there. (CLEARS THROAT) - Do you have a telephone I could use? - Yes. - There's one in the kitchen. - Well, thank you. Thank you very much. Here. Pretend you're a gangster. (MANSLEY CHUCKLING) Damn it, Mansley. You call me at home for this? You don't understand, sir. (STAMMERS) It ate my car. GENERAL: And you saw this happen? No, I didn't actually see it. It went off into the woods. So, you don't have any evidence? But, but, sir, I've got an eyewitness! An eyewitness with a concussion. This thing... This thing is a menace. (STAMMERS) It tore up the power station. It... - (TRING) - It caused a train wreck! What did? Tell me again, Mansley, and this time listen to yourself. (BREATHING DEEPLY) A giant metal monster. (GENERAL LAUGHING) Please, sir. I've got a feeling about this one. That's lovely, Kent. But let me try to explain how this works. If you told me you'd found, say, a giant footprint, I might send over an expert to make a plaster cast of it. Hell! You get me a photograph of this thing and I could probably get some troops over there! But you tell me you've got a "feeling"? All right then, fine. You want evidence? I'll get you evidence. And when I do, I'm gonna wanna a memo distributed. - That sounds swell, Kent. - (TELEVISION PLAYING) I'm gonna want that memo carbon copied and redistributed... (DIAL TONE) (YELLS INDISTINCTLY) (BANGING RECEIVER) (PANTING) (INHALES DEEPLY) Hi. Thanks for the use of your phone. Well, thank you for the use of your phone, Mrs... Hughes. Annie Hughes. And this is my son, Hogarth. Thank you, Annie. Hobart. That's Hogarth! - (CAR STARTING) - Hogarth. (SNICKERS) What an embarrassing name. Might as well call him Zeppo or something. What kind of a sick person would name a kid Hogar... (WHISPERING) Hog Hug... Hog Hug. Hogarth Hughes! (BRAKES SQUEALING AND TIRES SCREECHING) (KNOCKING) Kent Mansley. You work for the government. I wasn't gonna say that. I have something for you, Hogarth. Your BB gun. Where did you find that? Up at the power station. - Hogarth was out there the other night. - Really? See anything unusual, Hogarth? No... thing... unusual, really. (TOILET FLUSHES) Gotta use the bathroom. (DOOR CREAKS) (GASPS) Strange, he's so tightlipped now. And the other night he couldn't stop talking. I mean, 100-foot robots and whatnot. (CHUCKLING) A hundred-foot robot? (LAUGHING) That's nutty! - What else did he say? - HOGARTH: No, wait, stop! (THUD) Excuse me. (GRUNTING) - Hogarth? - (KNOCKING) ANNIE: What is going on in there? (GRUNTING) - Are you all right? - (HOGARTH GRUNTING) HOGARTH: I'm fine. You know, this sort of thing is why it's so important to really chew your food. (HOGARTH CONTINUES GRUNTING) - (CRASHING) - Hogarth? - (UNZIPPING) - Hogarth? - Mom! A little privacy? - (SCREAMS) Sorry. - Ow. Ha-ha. Ow. - Sorry. Oh, Lord, he's been acting strange lately. That hurt. (SIGHING) (THUDDING) Thank you again, Annie. Good night, Hogarth. I'm sure we'll see each other again - real soon. - (CAR STARTS) If you're gonna stay here you gotta keep better track of yourself. Sheesh. Anyway, I thought you'd like, you know, a bedtime story or something. I've got some really cool ones. MAD Magazine, (LAUGHS) very funny. The Spirit, very cool. Boy's Life... Ehh... Oh, here. This guy is Superman. Sure, he's famous now, - but he started off just like you. - Hmm... Crash-landed on Earth. Didn't know what he was doing. But he only uses his powers for good, never for evil. Remember that. Oh, that's Atomo, the metal menace. He's not the hero. He's the villain. He's not like you. You're a good guy. Like Superman. Superman. (STOMACH GROWLS) - Oh, you're hungry, aren't you? - Mmm-hmm. But I don't have any metal here. Just follow me. Pick me up, okay? (GASPS) Wow. Okay, now, march! (GRUNTS) (GRUNTING) Whoo. (HOGARTH CHEERS) (GIANT GRUNTS) GIANT: Hmm? HOGARTH: Oh, yeah. That's Rockwell. - Nice place, huh? - Rockwell? Yes, I was born right down there. Rockwell! HOGARTH: No, stop! Look out for the cow! - Come on, no, not there! - (RUSTLING) Please stop. No, stop! We can't go there yet. People just aren't ready for you. (GROANING) (STOMPING) (THUDDING) That was close. We can't go running around like that, okay? - GIANT: Hmm... - Hey, look! Hmm? I guess that would be okay to eat. It's been there for months. Oh, no. We gotta hide! You know, hide? It's when you... You know, when you... Just get behind something, quick! (WHISPERING) Don't move. (WHIRRING) - (DOOR CLOSING) - (METAL CLANKING) (CAR STARTING) (SIGHING) (GROANS) Our troubles are over. (GIANT LAUGHS) HOGARTH: This is it. All you can eat. (CRUSHING) (CLANGING) (CLATTERING) - (CRUNCHING) - (HORN HONKING) Shh. Turn it off! (WHIRRING) (HORN HONKING CONTINUES) Come on, just turn it off! (WHIZZING) (CRASHING) - Oh, no. - (DOG BARKING IN THE DISTANCE) All right, who's out there? (MUSIC PLAYING) (PANTING) Hey, hey, I know you. Squirrel boy. Hogarth. By night, known as Hogarth. Got it. Well, come on inside, kid. Sorry about the crowbar. You'd be surprised how many people wanna steal scrap. But, man, once I turn it into art, I can't give it away. I mean, what am I? A junkman who sells art or an artist who sells junk? You tell me. HOGARTH: I like it... I think. Listen, you're, you're not gonna call my mom, are you? She doesn't know I'm out. I... Don't worry, kid. Look, it's not my style to report a guy to the authorities. (GIANT MAKING SOUNDS) DEAN: I'm gonna have some coffee. What do you want, some, uh, milk, or what? Milk? Coffee's fine. - Yeah. I drink it. I'm hip. - (CLICKS FINGERS) I don't know. This is espresso, you know? It's like coffee-zilla. I said, I'm hip. So she moved me up a grade because I wasn't fitting in. So, now I'm even more not fitting in. I was getting good grades. You know, like all A's. So, my mom says, "You need stimulation." And I go, "No, I'm stimulated enough right now." - That's for sure. - She goes, "Uh-uh, you don't have a challenge. "You need a challenge." So, now I'm challenged, all right. I'm challenged to hold on to my lunch money, because of all the big mooses who wanna pound me because I'm a shrimpy dork who thinks he's smarter than them. But I don't think I am smarter, I just do the stupid homework. If everyone else just did the stupid homework they could move up a grade and get pounded too. Is there anymore coffee? Look, it's really none of my business, kid, but, um, who cares what these creeps think, you know? They don't decide who you are. You do. You are who you choose to be. (CLATTERING) Did you hear that? No, wait. Stop! - (GROWLING) - (GASPS) - It's okay! - My God! - He isn't gonna... - Run, kid! Run! (THUDDING) - HOGARTH: It's okay. He isn't... - (THUDDING) - (SIGHING) - It's okay. He isn't gonna hurt me. Oh, hey... Don't squash him! No! Don't... Do not... Squash him. HOGARTH: His name is Dean. We like Dean. - Dean. - (WHIMPERING) - (CLATTERING) - DEAN: So... Where'd, uh, where'd he come from? He doesn't remember. He's like a little kid. Little. Yeah. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Wait a minute. You can talk to him? Kinda. He can't say a lot of words yet but he understands things pretty good. DEAN: Oh, yeah. I see. - (METAL CLANGING) - (BOTH CHUCKLING) He needs food and shelter. You got plenty of room here. This place is perfect. DEAN: Go away. I can have him push the door down. You know I can. Hogarth. I can't hide it here. - "Him," not "it." - Whatever. You don't even know where "he" came from or, or what the hell "he" is! He's my friend. Yeah, what am I? Am I your friend? Bring some Franken-bot with out-of-state plates over here, make me change my tune. I don't like that jazz. God, I'm tired. So, he can stay? Tonight. Tomorrow, I don't know. I don't know about tomorrow. (EXHALES) Sleep tight. (WHISPERS) I'll see you tomorrow. (GROANS) (GROANS) (DOOR OPENS) - You're up already? - Just making the bed. That's nice. Come downstairs. I have a surprise for you. (GRUMBLING) Morning, sport. Sleep well? Mom? Isn't it wonderful, Hogarth? We finally rented our room. Ugh. I'm not very hungry. Oh, yeah. (PHONE RINGS) Hello, this is Hogarth Hughes speaking. Who's calling, please? I said he could stay the night, kid. It's morning now. (SOFTLY) Look, I'll try to come over, okay? But there's this weird guy here who's watching me. What's that supposed to mean? I got this big, giant... Giant thing out here. - I can't talk right now, okay? Bye. - Hogarth! Who was that, sport? Friend of yours? Yeah. He's, uh, a new kid. What... I... Hey, hey! Stop! Stop that! Stop it! Hey, mind if I ask you a few questions there, buckaroo? Now, why would you tell your mom about a giant robot, slugger? Say, what'd you see at the power station? Huh, tiger? You tell anyone else about this, buddy? How big is this thing, ranger? Been in the forest lately? Hey. Where you going? Champ? Slugger? Hey, cowboy? Where you goin'? - Where you goin'? - I'm going out! Why don't you take Mr. Mansley with you? Show him the sights. Oh, Mom, the sights? Hey, I'd love that. Give us a chance to get acquainted, swap some stories, huh, chief? There are two kinds of metal in this yard. Scrap and art. If you gotta eat one of them, eat the scrap. What you currently have in your mouth is art! Art? (METAL CREAKING) Oh, forget it. Forget it! It's gone. It's... Hmm. That's not bad. HOGARTH: First, you take a chocolate bar. Any bar'll do. - Oh. - Do you mind if I, uh... No, knock yourself out, skipper. You crumble up the chocolate into little pieces. Then you kind of stir it into the ice cream. See? Yes, I see. What do you call this again? Landslide. It's new. Very new. Mmm. Landslide. Topnotch. Mmm. You know, Hogarth, we live in a strange and wondrous time. The Atomic Age. But there's a dark side to progress, Hogarth. Ever hear of Sputnik? Yeah, it's the first satellite in space. Foreign satellite, Hogarth, and all that that implies. Even now, it orbits overhead. Boop. Boop. Watching us. We can't see it, but it's there. Much like that giant thing in the woods. We don't know what it is or what it can do. I don't feel safe, Hogarth. - Do you? - What are you talking about? What am I talking about? What am I talking about? I'm talking about your goldarned security, Hogarth! While you're snoozing in your little jammies, back in Washington, we're wide-awake and worried. Why? Because everyone wants what we have, Hogarth! Everyone! You think this metal man is fun. But who built it? The Russians? The Chinese? Martians? Canadians? I don't care! All I know is, we didn't build it, and that's reason enough to assume the worst and blow it to kingdom come! Now, you're going to tell me about this thing. You're gonna lead me to it. And we are going to destroy it before it destroys us! (STOMACH GURGLING) Just hold that thought and stay right there. Oh-oh. (MANSLEY SIGHS) DEAN: Little lower. Little bit lower... Hey. I thought you were in trouble. DEAN: That sucks. Let me just... Up a little. I had to ditch this weird guy who's staying at our house. It took me hours to shake him! I kill myself to get out here! And you have him doing... Arts and crafts! You got a problem with arts and crafts, little man? He's a giant robot, Dean. It's a little undignified. Yeah? Well, smart guy, what would you have him do? (MAKES ENGINE SOUNDS) Main systems on. Main engines. One, two and three. All systems go. Five, four, three two, one! Blast off! (SCREAMING) We're landing. We're landing! We're landing! (SIGHS DEEPLY) (SIGHS DEEPLY) Say, can you guys cool yourselves a little? I feel like we're pressing our luck here. Hey, baby, we are cool! Welcome to downtown Coolsville. Population? Us. (CHUCKLES) Well, can you move Coolsville to someplace less conspicuous? - How about the lake? - Okay. Aw, come with us. It'll be fun. (BLUES MUSIC PLAYING) (INAUDIBLE) (GROANS) This can't last forever, Hogarth. We gotta tell somebody about him. Ah, you worry too much. Hey, Dean! Watch this! All right, we're watching. We're watching. This one's for professionals only! Banzai! (TREMBLING) Come on in! (STAMMERS) The water's great! (CHUCKLES) No, thanks. You weenie! Come on in. It's really, really refreshing. (GIANT GRUMBLES) What? You too? You big baby! (POUNDING FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) Banzai! (HOGARTH LAUGHS) Whoo! - Hey. - Yeah? - You're right in the middle of the road! - (ANNOYED) Yeah? All right. (PIGS OINKING) I think that's enough fun for one day. (KNOCKING ON DOOR) ANNIE: Are you okay in there, Mr. Mansley? I'm back with the toilet paper you needed. (CHUCKLES) Thanks! I think I'm feeling better now. Much. Much better. It's beautiful, huh? Hey, look! HOGARTH: It's a deer. - Deer? - Shh. (WHISPERS) Let's get closer. (TWIG SNAPS) Hmm. Well, I guess he decided to... (GUN FIRES) (RUMBLING) It's the monster! Oh, no. It's dead. Dead? Don't do that! Why? It's dead. Understand? They shot it with that gun. HOGARTH: Hey, what's wrong? - Guns. - Yes. Guns kill. GIANT: Guns kill. (METAL CLANKING) I know you feel bad about the deer. But it's not your fault. Things die. It's part of life. It's bad to kill. But it's not bad to die. You die? Well, yes, someday. I die? I don't know. You're made of metal but you have feelings. And you think about things. And that means you have a soul. And souls don't die. Soul? Mom says it's something inside of all good things, and that it goes on forever and ever. Souls don't die. (CLAPPING) You're very kind. Thank you so much. You ever seen a better picture than that? Look at those details. This is the famous 60 second Polaroid land camera. Seeing the results on the spot... (CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) (RATTLING) (GIANT MAKING SOUNDS) In 60 seconds... You know, if you... (CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) HOGARTH: Don't you remember anything? HOGARTH: You saw me save you. You came from the sky, right? DEAN: You don't even know where "he" came from. Or what the hell "he" is! HOGARTH: Guess you're not gonna hurt me. (GASPS AND SCREAMS) (TV AUDIENCE CLAPPING) (GIANT GRUMBLING) - MANSLEY: You're late for dinner, Hogarth. - (GASPS) Your mom's working late tonight, Hogarth. So it's just us guys. And we're gonna have a little chat. Sit down! How's that? A little too bright? Good. (MANSLEY CHUCKLES) Forgive me, Hogarth. I wanted you to learn something. What can I learn from you? You can learn this, Hogarth. That I can do anything I want, whenever I want, if I feel it's in the people's best interest. The giant metal man, where is it? I don't know what you're talking about. You don't? Well. Does this ring a bell? No? How about this? You've been careless, Hogarth. It doesn't prove anything. It's enough to get the Army here with one phone call. - Then what's stopping you? - (YELLS) Where's the giant? You can't protect him, Hogarth, any more than you can protect your mother. My mom? Ah, it's difficult to raise a boy all alone. We can make it more difficult. In fact, we can make it so difficult that it would be irresponsible for us to leave you in her care and all that that implies. - You'll be taken away from her, Hogarth. - You can't do that! Oh, we can. And we will. He's in the junkyard. McCoppin's Scrap, off Culver Road. The junkyard. Of course! Food for the metal-eater. I wouldn't worry about this, Hogarth. It isn't really happening. This is only a bad dream. (MUFFLED SCREAMS) MANSLEY: Where's the giant? (ECHOING) This is only a bad dream. MANSLEY: Yes, sir. This thing is real, sir. I not only have incontrovertible evidence, General, I know where it's hidden. I don't know who built it, but it's here. It's massive and we're running out of time. There's no doubt we should act. The only question, sir, is... Can you afford not to? Excellent, sir. You won't regret it. Thank you, sir. The Army arrives in the morning, Hogarth. Don't get cute. I gotta warn Dean. I'll be watching you. (AWAKES WITH A START) (MANSLEY SIGHS) Morning, Kent. For some reason, the Army is in our front yard, Mr. Mansley. Please, call me Kent. (SIGHS) (RUMBLING) Okay. (SOLDIERS BARKING ORDERS) - All right, where is it? - DEAN: What? You know darn well what. The monster. The giant thing. The metal man. Ah, the metal man. Jeez, you were scaring me there for a second. I thought I was under attack or something. He's in the back. Come on. I'll show you. You guys got here just in time. This rich cat, you know, some industrialist, wants him for the lobby of his company. He whipped out his checkbook on the spot. I said, "Hey, you got him for the rest of your life. "But, what, I gotta let go the moment I give birth? I mean, come on. "Give me some time to cut the umbilical, man." Here he is. (MEN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY) Anyway, I haven't sold him yet. So if you really want him and if, you know, you throw in a competitive bid... (CHUCKLES) Sir, I... Listen... Sir, listen... - Step outside, Mansley. - Yes. (YELLING) You realize how much hardware I brought out here? You just blew millions of Uncle Sam's dollars out of your butt! I gotta admit, I'm relieved that this is what Hogarth was talking about. (LAUGHS) I mean, I was beginning to, um, think it was real. (LAUGHS) - (DEAN CHUCKLES AND CLEARS THROAT) - I mean, don't get me wrong, I like it. But, uh, do you need all this stuff on the surface? Well, um, no, actually. (STUTTERING) It just sort of... It seems kind of slapped on. You know, not as thought-out as this other piece. - You like that one? - Yeah. (THE GENERAL YELLING INDISTINCTLY) You'll be chief inspector of subway toilets by the time I'm finished with you! Now, pack up. I'll expect you back in Washington to clear out your office. MANSLEY: Yes, sir. Hmm. I see why Hogarth sneaks out here. You mean, you know about that? (LAUGHS) Aw. Now I do. (ENGINE REVVING) Bye, Kent, and all that that implies. DEAN: Okay, you can move now. (METAL CLATTERING) Nice job! HOGARTH: Thruster to base. I'm goin' in. Only one creature could create so much destruction. The hideous, people-eating, killing machine, Atomo! Atomo? No Atomo. I Superman. Okay, Superman. Take this! (BUZZING) Stupid gun. (GASPS) Hey. What's wrong? As I was saying, take this! (BEEPING) Oh! What happened? What was that... Shh. Stay down and follow me. Shh. Get back! I said, get back! I mean it! No, stop. Why? It was an accident. He's our friend. He's a piece of hardware, Hogarth. Why do you think the Army was here? He's a weapon! A big gun that walks! I, I... I not gun. Yeah, what's that, huh? You almost did that to Hogarth! No. - Come back! - Hogarth. - Hey, stop! - HOGARTH: Giant! Come back! It was defensive. He reacted to the gun. You're not gonna get there fast enough on foot. See, I told you it was a big hoax. - Dad said... - (GASPS) Give me the binoculars. - What? What? - Hey, there it is. I see it! It's big. It's walking away. - Hey. Gimme those. - Over there. See it? The monster! Holy cow! (BOTH SCREAMING) MAN: Watch it! Help! Somebody help me! - BOY: I don't wanna fall! - BOY 2: Help! (INDISTINCT CHATTER AND CONFUSION) I'm slipping! - I can't hold on much longer! - (GIANT POUNDING) (PEOPLE YELLING) (SCREAMING) (PEOPLE GASPING) - BOY 1: Dad! - BOY 2: Daddy! - MAN: He saved those boys! - WOMAN: It's friendly! (GASPS) What... (HORN HONKS) Oh! (GRUNTS) Stop! Look! Look behind you! The giant, it's attacking! It's stomping the town! I was right! - Sweet mother of God. - MANSLEY: Look, damn you! (ENGINE ROARING) I am not a gun. Hey, Mom. (ROARS) (PEOPLE SCREAMING) Let's get out of here! Run! (GASPS) Hey. Stop! There's a kid in his hands! Stop shooting! Kent! He only reacts defensively. If you don't shoot, he's harmless. You gotta tell the General! This is all your fault, beatnik. If you hadn't... Would you shut up and listen? You've gotta make them stop. The giant's got the kid with him. I'll take care of it. He says the monster's killed a kid. Sir, we must stop it at all costs. Go to code red. Repeat, code red! Mr. President, we have a situation, sir. SOLDIER: Watch it, lady! - Look out for the bus! - (GIANT MUMBLES) (HORN HONKS) (HOGARTH SCREAMS) You can fly? You can fly! Hogarth! Try pointing your arms straight ahead, like Superman! (GASPS) (BEEPING) No, no! I've lost visual. Repeat, lost visual! HOGARTH: Man, that was close! (EXPLODING) No! Ha. Gotcha! (GROANS) Good call, Mansley. Secure the area. Let's find out what this thing is and who sent it. Huh? (GASPS) (WHIMPERING) SOLDIER 1: Halt! Set your perimeter! - It's still alive! - Shoot at it! SOLDIER 2: Retreat! Retreat! Let's get out of here! (SOLDIERS YELLING) Hogarth! He's unconscious, but he's okay. Let's get him in the car. Drive, baby, drive! Step on it! Floor it! It's gaining on us. Faster! Faster! Hurry! (SOLDIERS YELLING INDISTINCTLY) All battleships fire at the robot! Now! Now, damn it, now! Nothing can stop this thing! We've hit it with everything we've got! Not everything, General. The bomb. The Nautilus has first strike capability and is not far offshore. You scare me, Mansley. You want us to bomb ourselves in order to kill it? General, the giant seems to follow whatever attacks it. We can lure it away from the town, then destroy it. Radio the Nautilus. Tell them to target the robot and await my command. This is Nautilus. What is the giant's current position? SOLDIER 1: 67. 71972 degrees west, by 44.50177 degrees north. Locked and loaded. Oh, my baby, I'm so sorry. - Stop the car. - Hogarth! My God, honey, you're all right. Go back! We've gotta help him! Are you crazy, kid? You're lucky to be alive! We're taking you to a hospital. (SOLDIERS YELLING) SOLDIER 2: Everyone! Out of the car! We're evacuating the area. What are you talking about? We gotta get this boy to a hospital. What boy? Hogarth! Hogarth, no! (BEEPING) Hey! No! Stop! This is General Rogard. Ready the attack and prepare to retreat to the fallback position. No! No! Stop! My son is out there! No, wait. It's me, Hogarth. Remember? It's bad to kill. Guns kill. And you don't have to be a gun. You are what you choose to be. You choose. Choose. GIANT: Hogarth. (WHIMPERS) It's okay. It's okay. We gotta show them you're good. Nautilus to Rogard, missile armed and ready. What are you saying, he's friendly? Yes. Attacking him is triggering a defense mechanism. Don't listen, General! Destroy the monster while we still have the chance! (GIANT'S FOOTSTEPS POUNDING) General, you shoot and the whole thing starts all over again. - Stop it now! Our future's at stake! - Orders, sir? Which is why you have got to stop, General! - It's getting closer! Orders, sir? - Don't shoot! Don't shoot! - Hogarth! - Hold your fire! The boy's alive? It's a trick! Launch the missile. Are you mad, Mansley? All units, stand down! Rogard to Nautilus. Come in, Nautilus. MAN: This is Nautilus standing by. Launch the missile now! That missile is targeted to the giant's current position! Where's the giant, Mansley? What... Oh... We can duck and cover. There's a fallout shelter right there. There's no way to survive this, you idiot! You mean, we're all going to... To die, Mansley, for our country. Screw our country! I want to live! (CAR STARTS) GENERAL: Hold him, men. Make sure he stays here, like a good soldier. (ALARM WAILING) (CHATTERING) Oh! - (ALARM WAILS) - Oh, no. - Hmm? - It's a missile. When it comes down everyone will die. WOMAN: There it is! (CHATTERING) - Shouldn't we get to a shelter? - It wouldn't matter. GIANT: I fix. Giant? GIANT: Hogarth. You stay. I go. No following. I love you. HOGARTH: You are who you choose to be. Superman. (PEOPLE CHEERING) Let's go home. (CHILDREN LAUGHING) Your best work yet, honey. No doubt about it. You think this is my best? Really? (NERVOUSLY) Well, you know, next to that bug, uh, thing. You know, the one with the, uh, shovels... (CLEARS THROAT) Um, Hogarth? Come on, honey. Time to go. - See you later, guys. - BOY: See you later, Hogarth. Oh, hey, Hogarth, um, the General sent this to you. What is it? DEAN: He said it was the only part recovered. He thought you should have it. I miss him. (KNOCKING) (GASPS) (BEEPING) (TAPPING ON WINDOW) See you later! (BEEPING) Mayday! Mayday! This is the Annabelle. I'm lost and I'm taking on water. My last good reading is 44 degrees north, 68 degrees... . Portland Station to AnnabeIIe. What is your position? I don't know exactly. Off the coast somewhere near RockweII! Wait. The lighthouse! I see it! Over here, honey! Hey, Mom! You won't believe our good luck. Guess what I found? Hogarth, we've been through this before. No pets. But he's not a pet, Mom. He's a friend. We've got to rent a room if we're gonna make ends meet... ... andnoonewants shredded upholstery. You won't know he's there. I'II cage him. until you feel sorry for him and set him free in the house! Do you remember the raccoon, Hogarth? I remember the raccoon. please, Mom, at Ieast look at him. AII right. Where is this guy? I can't read this handwriting. That one should have lettuce, tomato, extra mayo. I will go get him, okay? So he wants us to hold the mayo and the mustard. How about just hold the flavor altogether? Excuse me. Excuse me. Sir? Excuse me--! -What's that? -please don't move. My pet's under your table. Don't look! If you make a scene, my mom won't let me keep him. -What kind of pet, kid? -A squirrel. He's friendly. I'm telling the truth, dang it! It came from outer space. I saw it. And it was headed toward land. I called the government in Washington about it. Maybe it was a Sputnik or an invader from Mars. That's what it is. It's an invader from Mars! A spaceship of some kind. An unidentified flying object. Unidentified? Knowing you, earl, I'd say it was either whiskey or beer. I saw it too. I rest my case. I believe you. What if it is Sputnik? Or a flying saucer... ... fromMars? I bet we could find it. Sorry, kid. I didn't really see anything. If we don't stick up for the kooks, who will? Is my son bothering you, sir? No! call me Dean. Hogarth, you were going to get your pet, honey? I will, Mom. -Right after I finish talking with-- -Dean. -Found your pet. -Where? squirrel's up my pants, Hogarth. I'm trying not to wig out here. Don't wig out. Okay. He's heading north now. I'm sorry, kid. I'd Iike to apologize to everyone in advance for this. Check, please. It's a rat! hello, this is Hogarth Hughes speaking. Who's calling? I'm really sorry, but-- Thank you. I need to work late tonight. There's chicken in the icebox. You can have that and carrots-- I'm way ahead of you, Mom. I'll make it up to you. -I love you. -Me too. And, Hogarth noscarymovies,nolate snacks, in bed by 8:00. Got it? Come on, Mom. It's me, remember? Why, the porpoise can communicate telepathically, Miss Melon. If we can transplant 15 % of their brain matter into ours we may be able to read minds. Darn. A perfectly good brain wasted. You've seen enough. How about a nightcap? Let's say my place. I was thinking the same thing. Mind reader. Darn. I seem to have left my keys in the lab. You're gonna get it. Who 's there? Come on! Stupid antenna. Invaders from Mars! Honey? help! help! Stop! help! Don't you know better than to wander off at night alone? What if something happened? I'm sorry, Mom. Don't you ever do that to me again. I was so scared. I thought I'd lost you. You won't believe this. Something ate our TV antenna. No! I'm serious! It's not Sputnik, Iike Mr. Stutz thought. No, it's a robot! No, really, it is! And the robot, it's 1 00 feet high! And it eats metal! Stop it! Just... ... stop. I'm not-- I'm not in the mood. Come on. Let's go home. A peaceful, stay-at-home kind of day in a town very much like your own. But then, suddenly, without warning atomic holocaust! But how does one survive an atomic attack? Did you hear about crazy Mr. Stutz? He says his boat ran into a sea monster. I heard it was sunk by a meteor. It was a metal meteor. It ate his boat. My dad says-- It wasn't any of those. What would you know about it, Poindexter? Don't make me come over there. Hands over your head Keep low to the ground Time to duck and cover The bombs are coming down Duck and cover It's about 50 or 60 feet high and it only eats metal. Shut up, you little spaz! It's been sent by foreigners to take over the country. We should bomb it to smithereens before it does. 'Cause all the kids who don 't Will cease to be around Thanks for the scrap. Sorry I can't pay you more. But it's got this... ... thislargebiteout ofit. That's why I'm selling it. It's got a Iarge bite out of it. -What could've done this? -I told you what. Strange invaders. Thanks for believing me. I really did call the government. They're sending someone to take care of the whole thing. Jeez, earl. You really are crazy. Who in the hell would the government send? Kent MansIey, unexplained Phenomena. -Marv Loach. I-- -What happened? Not sure. Sometimes the line'II snap if the weather is bad, sure. But for a whole tower to get twisted up like that... . It's got me beat. It's almost like it was bitten off by some enormous beast. Enormous beast. What do you think? Escaped gorilla? What department is that again? I'm not at liberty to reveal the particulars of my agency... ... andallthatthatimplies. You mean national security? Let's put it this way. Once in a while, things happen... ... thatcan'tbe rationalized in a conventional way. people wanna know the government has a response. I am that response. So were there any witnesses? well, sir, if you'II just follow me. We did find this. United States Government, huh? Guess that means something big's happening here. No, Marv. Big things happen in big places. The sooner I fill out my report, the sooner I can get back to them. Enormous beast, yeah... . Biggest thing here is the homecoming queen. Oh, my God! Come on, I need a witness. -It's around the corner. -Don't pull so hard. It's like a chomp out of the side of the car. It's like a bite out of a sandwich, Iike a-- What are we looking at here, Mr. MansIey? Something big, Marv. Something big. hello! Come out! Hey, big metal guy, I got food here for you! metal! Crunchy, delicious metal! Come and get it! So I guess you're not gonna hurt me, huh? The shutoff switch. You saw me save you. So where are you from? You came from the sky, right? From up there? Don't you remember anything? Maybe it's that bump on your head. Do you talk? You know, words? "blah, blah, blah," like that? Can you do that? well, you get the idea anyway. Let's see. See this? This is called a rock. Rock. Good. That is a tree. Rock. Tree. Get it? That's right! My own giant robot. I am now the luckiest kid in America! This is unbelievable. This is the greatest discovery since, I don't know, television or something. I gotta tell someone. I should caII-- No, they'II panic. people wig out and shoot at something big like you. Wig out. It means crazy. You know, Iike... . No, no! Don't do that! That's the stuff that makes them shoot at you. Two nights ago, at approximately 1 ,900 hours, sat com radar... ... detectedanunidentifiedobject entering Earth's atmosphere... ... losingcontactwithit2 1/ 2 miles off the coast of RockweII. Some assumed it was a meteor or a downed satellite. But Washington received a call from someone... ... whoreportedan actualencounter with the object. This is no meteor, gentlemen. This is something much more serious. We can't call Ripley's Believe It Or Not because they wouldn't believe it. And... . It's getting dark. And if I don't get home soon... ... Mom'sgonnawonderwhereIam. If she comes looking for me and sees you... ... wegotthescreamingproblemagain . So for now, would you, you know, just... ... juststayhere,okay? I'II come back tomorrow. Goodbye. No, no. Me go. You stay. No following. Good. I told you! I'II come back tomorrow! Now, stay! Bad robot! Look, you can't go stomping around and you can't come with me. My mom will wig out. That's right. So you have got to stay in the forest... ... andI 'IIbringyou some food tomorrow. But I gotta go home now. So goodbye. Hey, wait a minute! What do you think you're doing? Look at this mess! Put it back! Put it back right now! help me! I need your help! Good, good! Put them together. Like this. This one here, that one there. Okay, over, over. Good, good. Now the other one. Okay. Good enough. Let's go! What the--? That's fine! Leave it alone! The train is coming! The train is coming! Come on, Iet's go! You're alive! -Anybody out there? -We're in trouble now. Are you all right? I've changed my mind. You can follow me home. Let's go. Mayor's office. What? A train accident? He hit a giant creature? What creature could be big enough to-- I need your car. You can fix yourself? Neato! Mom's home. Just stay here, okay? I'II be back. Bye! Bye. What happened here? Go on. tell him what you saw, Frank. You're not gonna believe this. But it was a giant metal man. Does anyone know where I can get to a telephone nearby? would you say grace? Oh, my God! Oh, my God... ... wethankyou. For... ... thefoodthatMom ... ... hasputin frontofusand-- Stop! The devil... ... fromdoingbadthingsand.... Get out of here! Satan? Go, so... ... thatwemayliveinpeace . Amen. Amen. That was really unusual, Hogarth. Forgot to wash my hands. Stop, stop! AII right. Come on. Over here. Come on, over here. Come on. Hey there, scout. Kent MansIey. I work for the government. Hey, there. Kent MansIey. Work for the government. Your parents home? We're eating. Who's there, honey? hello there. Do you have a telephone I couId use? -In the kitchen. -Thank you. Thank you very much. Here. Pretend you're a gangster. -You call me at home for this? -You don 't understand. -It ate my car. -And you saw this happen? No, I didn't actually see it. It went off into the woods. So you don 't have any evidence? But I've got an eyewitness! An eyewitness with a concussion. This thing is a menace. It tore up the power station. It caused a train wreck! What did? tell me again, MansIey, and this time... ...listen to yourself. A giant metal monster. please, sir. I've got a feeling about this one. That's lovely, Kent. But let me try to explain how this works. If you told me you'd found, say, a giant footprint... ... I'dsendan expert to make a plaster cast of it. Get me a photograph and I couId get some troops over there! But you tell me you've got a feeling... ? AII right, fine. You want evidence? I'II get you evidence. And when I do, I'm gonna want a memo distributed. That sounds swell. I'll want that memo carbon-copied and redistributed-- Hi. Thanks for the use of your phone. Thank you for the use of your phone, Mrs... ? Hughes. Annie Hughes. And this is my son, Hogarth. Thank you, Annie. Hobart. That's Hogarth! What an embarrassing name. Might as well call him Zeppo. What kind of a sick person would name a kid Hogar--? Hog Hug. Hogarth Hughes! Kent MansIey. You work for the government. I wasn't gonna say that. I have something for you, Hogarth. Your BB gun. Where did you find that? At the power station. -Hogarth was there the other night. -really? See anything unusual, Hogarth? Nothing... ... unusual,really. Gotta use the bathroom. Strange he's tightIipped. The other night he couldn't stop talking. I mean, 100-foot robots and whatnot. A hundred-foot robot? That's nutty! What else did he say? No, wait, stop! Excuse me. What is going on in there? Are you all right? I'm fine. You know, this sort of thing is why it's so important... ... toreallychewyourfood . A little privacy? ! Sorry. Sorry. He's been acting strange lately. That hurt. Thank you again, Annie. Good night, Hogarth. I'm sure we'II see each other again real soon. If you're gonna stay here... ... yougottakeepbettertrack of yourself. Anyway, I thought you'd Iike a bedtime story or something. I've got some really cool ones. Mad Magazine, very funny. The Spirit, very cool. Boy's Life? Oh, here. This guy is Superman. Sure, he's famous now... ... buthestartedoff justlike you. Crash-Ianded on Earth. Didn't know what he was doing. But he only uses his powers for good, never for evil. Remember that. That's Atomo, the metal menace. He's not the hero. He's the villain. He's not Iike you. You're a good guy. Like Superman. Superman. You're hungry, aren't you? But I don't have any metal here. Just follow me. Pick me up, okay? Okay, now, march! Oh, yeah. That's RockweII. Nice place, huh? rockwell? Yes, I was born right down there. rockwell! No, stop! Look out for the cow! Come on, no, not there! please stop. No, stop! We can't go there yet. people just aren't ready for you. That was close. We can't go running around like that, okay? Look! That would be okay to eat. It's been there for months. We gotta hide! You know, hide? It's when you-- You know, when you-- Just get behind something, quick! We took him to a relative Why'd he do it? I don't smell booze on him, but he's not talking. Could be high on something. How else could he end up like that? What the hell happened? How's it going, Sergeant? I'm his uncle! Let go of me! Rotten bastard. Couldn't he use GPS? Why do I have to take him? Ain't that it? Get the wire cutters. Pull it back. What's that stink? So. Cho was killed here. What the fuck is all this? So he invited Cho over, killed him, put the body in a sack, dragged it to his house, and then killed his wife? Crime of passion. Make sure you photograph everything. Here, there, that stuff over there. Jong-go! Get over here! Sergeant, come over here. Shit! Oh god... That cocksucker. What kind of twisted freak is he? THE WAILING (GOKSUNG) Is that scary, or what? Scary, my ass. Anyway, the whole town's talking about it. Who told you that story? ByeOTQQVU- That goddamned bastard... Now he's spreading those stories to you, too? Well, from what I hear, there's definitely something off with that guy. Like what? The corner store owner went crazy, The guy at the mill dropped dead, and then Heung-go turns up dead two days ago. $0? All this happened after that Japanese man arrived. Quit talking out of your ass, you ignorant dope. Who're you calling ignorant? Look, the test results on Heung-guk came back today. Apparently, he ate some fucked-up mushrooms. What? You know. The ones with the drugs that make you go crazy. His blood was full of that shit. And there were tons of dried mushrooms at his place. You really believe that? It's what the results said! Didn't you ever try those mushrooms as a kid? Hell no. All I know is, mushrooms don't do that to you. You saw that poor guy. Mushrooms would never make you that way. But I'm right about the Japanese guy. If everyone's talking about him, there's likely a good reason. What the hell? Power's gone out again. Fuck. I keep telling the Captain to get that damn wiring fixed. Never listens! What the fuck! - What's wrong? - What the Christ was that? - That thing outside. - What's outside? - Outside, that... fuck! - What's your problem? What is it, man? You check it out. - Me? - Yes, you! Dammit. You want me to go out? I'm telling you, asshole, to get your ass out there! For crying out loud... Okay, I'll go. Come on, hurry! Shit. Who the fuck are you? What the hell? Stop, goddamn it! Stop it, you dirty slut! You whore! Eat this, too. Amn, you're heavy. I'm getting too old for this. Don't be ridiculous. Old ladies tell me men can still get it up after 70. Then buy me some herbal supplements. I keep having fucked-up nightmares. What're you doing in there? Oh hell. Shit! Nothing! Get away from the car. - Don't open it! - What are you doing? For crying out loud! Dad! Dad? Look. How do I look? Pretty. Freakishly pretty. How long were you watching? How much did you see? Don't worry, I won't tell. So you saw everything. No big deal. It's not the first time. What? Here. What? It's okay. Have a sip. Hurry up! Son of a bitch! What took you so long? Ignoring my calls? My mother-in-law got sick. Now you're using your mother-in-law as an excuse? You were taking a nap, I can tell! No, I wasn't. I swear. Get to work. Excuse me, ma'am? What the hell? What are you doing? Stop her. Yes, sir. Come with me, ma'am. Get off me! Sergeant, get her out of here. Back off, people. What's wrong with her? Please, calm down. That idiot... Calm down, ma'am. Jong-go. Get cleaned up, man. Hey, don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault that you're a little girly-man with balls the size of peas. Oh jeez. Hello! - Hey. - Hi, Hyo-jin. Hello, Captain. - How are you? - Good. - You've got clean clothes for Daddy? - Yeah. Mom got you clean boxers and an undershirt. Thanks, darling. Take a shower. I will. Go home. You didn't even eat, did you? All right, get out of here. Can't you see Daddy's working? See you. Goodbye, officers. - Bye. - See ya. - Take care, sweetie. - Oh, my. That scatterbrain. Seong-bok? Yeah. It just hit me. What? That woman... What woman? The one whose house burned down... I knew I'd seen her before. It's that naked woman from last night. What? The woman who was standing here last night. Crazy fools. They didn't burn to death. They were stabbed. All three of them? Yeah. Freaked the hell out of me, too. Prime suspect is the missus who hung herself. What the heck happened? Beats me. Over here. In here. What? Give us a hand. A little more. Foundit Idiot! Don't touch it with your bare hands! What the...? Are you a moron? That's evidence. He should've wrapped it in cloth or something, right? Gokseong Police Station So, she killed everyone? That's what they said. I'll be damned. So, that's what happened. Why did you call me? Things are crazy at work. Because of this case. Remember what I told you before? What? How the Jap raped a woman? What about it? You filthy slut. That woman. It was her. What the hell are you talking about? That woman he raped- it's the same woman whose house burned down. She went crazy after that, and used to run around naked at night. My wife saw her at the public bathhouse. She was totally covered in rashes and boils, Mumbling gibberish the whole time. Are you out of your mind? Byeong-gyu's got to stop this. Talking crap to his dimwitted buddies. You worthless bastard. It was your theory. I was just messing with you. Who in their right mind would believe crap like that? No, I think you're right. It can't be the mushrooms. That doesn't make sense. Gimme a break. What are you looking at? Get outta here! What? Ignore her. She's been doing that all morning. What a nutjob. So, how about you check with the local dermatologist. See if there's any medical records on Heung-guk or that woman. Stop it, you tramp! I can't believe this. It's important, you idiot! The rash is the link here. Come on, hurry. Stop it! You could hurt somebody! Community Health Center Oh, my. You're really getting on my nerves! Where do you live? Are you from this village? Hey. Don't come near me! Dammit! The lady killed them all. What? In there. In that room. What are you talking about? The old woman got a shaman to do some ritual, but the lady refused. That's why they all got killed. Are you a family member? No, I'm not. Then who are you? Come with me. Hey! What the...? You can't go in there. It's all right. Hey... Come on. She killed them here. The old woman got it the worst of it. Her head was smashed open like a watermelon. You saw with your own eyes? Of course I did. How? The old woman tells me the Jap is a ghost. He was gonna suck her blood dry. The Jap? Yeah. The Jap with the limp. Oh, him! You've seen him? Yeah. How many times? Once or twice. Be careful. Why? The old woman says, if you keep seeing him around, it's because he's stalking you. To suck your blood dry. Wait here for a second. Okay. Get your ass over here. What? Get over here now! But I just found the dermatologist. I found a witness. So, get over here as fast as you can. What the...? Where'd she go? What terrible sin did you commit, to be yelling like that? Are you feeling sick? Keep having weird dreams. Who's the medicine for? Hyo-jin's not feeling well. She couldn't go to school. She's burning up. And where were you while she was so sick? I was getting her medicine. What's with you? Take her to the hospital. What on earth was that? Turn off the hose first. Moron... Just coming into work now, are you? Hyo-jin wasn't feeling well. So now you're blaming your daughter? I'm not making it up. Did you find your witness? No, sir. After turning the whole town upside down. You think this case is going to be your big break? Seong-bok's been calling around. That's your excuse? Look at him. He can't even wash the car. Driving me up the wall. Even the Chief heard about your witness. Whether you lied, or let her get away- you're screwed. Yes, sir. This is driving me up the wall. Don't pay any attention to the crazy girl's talk. Not her. I'm talking about this. Family Tragedy Linked To Wild Mushrooms "Murdered by... wild mushrooms"? What did the dermatologist say? Mushrooms? He wasn't sure, so he referred Heung-guk to the hospital. Told you. It can't be the mushrooms. It's not impossible. Shut your hole. You know that story Byeong-gyu told you? There are so many. The one about the naked man eating the deer carcass. What's gotten into you? At a crazy time like this? It's because things are so crazy. You know the guy who saw it, right? "Herbs Tonics" Over here. You may not believe it, but I saw it with my own eyes. Look at this. Can you see it? Sure. I got 22 stitches. From falling on your head while you were drunk? What are you talking about? I'm too old to make shit up. You got proof? Proof? Hell yes, proof! I'm not the kind to talk shit without backing it up. Come look at this. You ready? Look. You see? Empty, right? I stayed the hell away from the mountains since that day. Even put the store up for sale. How is that proof? What? Damn you... That's not the point. The point is, when I opened my eyes, there he was- stark naked except for a diaper. A diaper? That's right. A grown man? I'm telling you. - Grown men can wear diapers. - Get outta here. Bladder control problems are surprisingly common in adults. But why go into the woods to treat incontinence? - Inconfinencen. - Am I talking to myself here? Anyway, he had his face buried in the carcass, his body covered in blood... his eyes all bloodshot. Then he looked up, and all of a sudden... I haven't slept since that day. - He was chewing on the guts? - That's right. - You saw him eating raw flesh? - Yeah... Wait, look here. See where the skin's broken? Bastard even bit me. Where does the guy live? Why, you gonna go there? I think I should. Don't. You'll regret it. It's just a suspicion, but... You know how the villagers have been dying out recently? He's got something to do with it. He's not human. Give me his address. It's out in the middle of nowhere. You've gotta have a general idea. It's hard to explain in words. It's deep in the valley somewhere. How much further is it? Still a ways ahead. Shit! What's the matter? It's there. Over there. I don't see a house. Look. Right over there. Whoa, isn't that a deer? So, you weren't making this up. What did I tell you, dammit? What in God's name... What's happening? Look. You know... What's going on? That should do it, right? What? You gotta show us the house. It's just over that hill. It's just the one house. You can't miss it. You came all the way here. You should see it through. Don't touch me, I gotta go! Where do you think you're going? I said let go! Shit... Hey! Mister. Mister? Mister? You all right? You fucking bastards. We're sorry. Fuck off. I'm gonna get your asses sacked. You just wait. We're real sorry, okay? Fuck you. You deserve to get scorched by lightning. Where are you going? You got hit by lightning. Hey! What's the point of taking all those health tonics- if it's lightning that kills you? How can something like this happen? What are the chances? But they'll say, thanks to all those tonics, he survived. Nurse! Nurse! It's Park Heung-guk in 302! You gotta come now. It's Park Heung-guk! It's an emergency! Doctor! What's going on? Can anybody make sense of what's happening here? Let's go back to the Jap's house tomorrow. There's definitely something going on there. Hvo-jm? Hyo-jin. Baby! Daddy's right here. Daddy's right here, sweetie. Look at Daddy. Look at Daddy. Hyo-jin! Look at me. Hyo-jin! Look at me. Look at Daddy. Daddy's here. Dad... - I'm right here. - Do something, Daddy! What, sweetie? Someone keeps banging on the door, trying to get in. Who? A strange man. He's trying to get in. It's okay, it's okay... Hyo-jin. Hvo-jm? What is this? You're all right? Morning, Dad. But she never eats fish... Something's wrong with her. I heard you and Hyo-jin last night. I asked the old lady next door to recommend a good shaman. I'm gonna consult with him, just so you know. Got that? Okay. Good. Hey. Hey. Say hello. This is my nephew. What, a priest? Not yet, he's in training. A deacon. We'll need a translator to talk to the man. You speak Japanese? Just a little. He lived in Japan when he was young. What's that on your neck? Nothing. You've gotta be kidding me. What's your name, son? Yang E-sam. (Two-three) Is that your real name? Yes, sir. Let's go. Get in. Anybody home? What is it? Goddamn perv. Look at this. What does it say? Uncle, this is illegal. I know. Then why... We should stop. If you won't help, wait outside. But Uncle! Okay, you wait outside. What are you staring at? Go keep a lookout. What the fuck? - Son of a bitch! - Get over here! Get him off me! What were you doing poking around the doghouse? Block the door! Get over here! Shit! Seong-bok, you bastard! Fucking bastard! Where is it? Where did it go? Over there. Seong-bok. I think it's the owner. Seong-bok? Excuse me. Are you all right? Yeah. What's the matter with you? Did you get bit? Huh? Say something, dammit. He's the criminal. You're scaring me, man. Snap out of it. It wasn't just one or two people. He took pictures of them when they were alive- and then went back for more when they went crazy and died. What the hell are you going on about? He's the criminal. That's enough. I'll deal with you later. I'm sure of it. He... He took his victims' belongings and did something with them. What did you see? Tell me! Jeon Hyo-jin You're getting all wet! Where is Hyo-jin? In the living room. Hyo-jin. You're home early. Did you lose your trainer? No, Why? What's this, then? It's not mine. Isn't this your handwriting? I said, it's not mine. You know anything about a Japanese man living in the village? You're dripping water all over the place. Answer me. Do you know him or not? Did you meet him? Answer me. You're scaring her. Get out for a sec. Come on, this is serious. It's you and me. Daddy is a policeman. I'll know if you lie. Did you meet this man? Tell me. Tell you what? Everything. Where you met, what you did. Why should I tell you? Because it's important. What's so important? Answer me, girl! I said, what's so important? What's so damn important? What the hell is so damned important? You don't even know what's important. Stop grilling me, goddamn it! Fuck! What are you doing? I thought you were sleeping. What the hell? Yanking up your daughter's skirt in the middle of the night? Speak, will you? Tell me, asshole! Tell me, you fucking shithead! Fuck you! Stop staring, motherfucker! Don't call your daddy that! Don't you look at me! Stop it! Daddy said he was sorry. I'm gonna kill all of you. How could you? I met the shaman today. He thinks there's a spirit in the house. Something's possessed Hyo-jin. And if we don't act, there'll be dead bodies. He's supposed to be the best. Why didn't you answer my calls? Come with me, and don't give me any crap. Ask him where he stashed the stuff from in there. The things in there... where are they now? What things? He asks what things. The stuff we saw before. Things we saw... before. The photographs? You mean the pictures? Yeah, the pictures. And the other stuff. Yes. I burned them. Sorry? I burned them. He burned them. Where? Where? In the kitchen. In the kitchen. Bastard! YOu! What did you come here to do? What did you come here to do? Ask him again. What did you come here to do? To travel. To travel, he says. Tell him I'll throw him in jail if he doesn't fess up. Tell us the truth. Even if I told you, you wouldn't believe me. He says you wouldn't believe him. Look, you translate everything I say, - word for word. - Yes, sir. You fucking prick! Oh... You loose-assed, dog-fucking son of a whore! So, uh... What kind of tourist hangs pictures of dead people on his wall? Travel... the dead... Why was this in your house? HOW did this...? Who the fuck are you? Who are you? I know what you're doing in this village. I saw that room. And I know what the fuck you're doing to my daughter! I want you... to stop what you're doing, and leave this village quietly. I mean it. Leave. Quietly. This is Gokseong. My turf. Don't mess around and get yourself killed. Just leave. If you don't leave, you'll die. If you heard me, say something. Or at least nod your fucking head! Please answer. So, you're... Shut up, bitch! You're blowing me off? Oh, I'm just not worth answering. Is that it? You're not even gonna listen, right? Ain't that right? I'm trying to speak to you, but you're not listening! What's this? What the fuck is this? What the hell is all this? What the... What the fuck are these rituals you're doing? ! What the fuck are you doing in my town! Do you know whose daughter you're messing with? Son of a bitch! Look out! Jong-go? Now what? Starting to see the light? I'll give you three days. Get out, or you'll end up like your goddamned dog. Translate. Translate what I said. How long has it been like this? Just a few days. $0? The symptoms- they're the same as the others'. There's gotta be an explanation for what she has. They say they don't know. What is it? Oh God! Who the fuck did this? What? ! You Okay? Get your husband. Who did this? Who the fuck did this? Jong-go! Jong-go! What's the matter! Does he drink a lot? It's nothing to worry about. I'll take the needles out in 20 minutes. Cut back on the drinking. Yeah. It's started. You better brace yourself. What I said the other day-we'll do it tomorrow. Where is Hyo-jin? You can't back out now. Get the money for the ritual. Where is she? At home. Where else would she be? I asked the old lady next door to watch her. You left her alone with a stranger? Are you out of your minds? Don't move. Hyo-jin. Baby. - What's the matter? - Oh my God! Hyo-jin! Hyo-jin! Hyo-jin! Drop that, baby. Don't cry. It's okay. It's okay. It'll be okay. Quick! Call 911! This is all the work of that Jap. Ever since we went to his house, my body's been in pain. I'm burning up. I'm seeing things. A man's face comes out of the wall. I don't think he's alive. We've gotta do something, or that bastard will get us first. Shut the damn door! What's in that jar? Which one? The one with the red lid. It's just soy sauce. Bring it over. What, are you deaf? Out of the way, come on. Stand back. What is that? I'll be fucked... It's a real wicked spirit we've got here. You don't want to leave, do you? Let's Stop it! Hyo-ijn! Come here, you! You met up with something recently you weren't supposed to? I don't follow you. Did you disturb someone? Of all the evil I've seen, this is the strongest. You disturbed it. Oh, God! What do we do now? Who is it? Who did you disturb? Tell him. A Japanese man... I knew it. That's no man. That's a ghost. All the things happening around here are his doing. If nothing is done, it's not just your daughter, but everything that walks on two feet will perish. Sir! This is Park Chun-bae. He owns this house. He killed his wife, too? It appears so. What's that bastard's name? Park Shun-baa. Then what? What do you mean, what? Gotta get rid of it. Either banish it, or kill it. I'm casting a deadly hex tomorrow at the hour of the dog. Yes, sir. You got the money? How much? About 1O grand, don't you think? LWlhaveitready. Good. Listen. What I'm doing tomorrow- it's no ordinary ritual. I'll be casting a death hex. It's incredibly dangerous. So you can't do anything that would taint it. No intercourse. Watch what you eat and drink. Or the spell will backfire. Yes, sir. Okay then. You can go. Can I ask you something? What? That Japanese guy. You said he's a ghost. $0? I don't get how a living person can be a ghost. It's not a living human. He died a long time ago. He must have been human once. But not anymore. So then, the ghost got inside him? Well, that's how it started. Not everything that moves, breathes, and talks is alive. Countless people have perished because they didn't understand that. If it's not stopped... that demon will destroy this village. Demon? An evil ghost! Even among other demons, he's a master of evil. If that's true, why did it have to be your daughter? What sin did that young girl ever commit? Yes. If you go fishing, do you know what you'll catch? No. He's just fishing. Not even he knows what he'll catch. He just threw out the bait, and your daughter took it. That's all it was. Park Chun-bae - This one? - No. Money. Yes, money. 21 dollars more. - No! - That's okay. Oh, come on. Tell him to stop. Stop! Stop! I said stop! Jong-go! Jong-go! Jong-go! What's the matter? Look at me. Baby? Baby? Hyo-jin! Please make him stop... Please... Please make him stop. Dad! Dad... Hyo-jin. We shouldn't do this... Stop, you bastards! Stop! Fucking bastards! Stop right now. Stop! Stop. I said stop! Stop. I'm gonna smash your heads in! Stop, I said. Get out. Now! Everything started on that day? I'll try speaking to the Father. What you're telling me is true? Yes. And you said the shaman told you this. From their perspective, a ghost is the spirit of a dead man. But that man is alive. I've heard about this man, too. Rumor has it he's a renowned professor. And there are darker, more disturbing rumors- Some say he's a Buddhist monk. But they're just rumors. How can you believe them? No, Father. They're definitely not rumors. You sound terribly sure. Did you see it with your own eyes? How can you be sure without seeing for yourself? Take her back to the hospital. Trust the doctor. There's nothing the Church can do for you now. Come with me to the Jap's. Sorry? I gotta see for myself if he's really a ghost or not. If he is, then I won't be able to kill him. Where is he? Is everyone here? Yeah. Why'd you call us so early? Cheol-yeong couldn't come. His sow is farrowing. What's with your face? This ain't a joke? You're serious, right? Yeah. Cross your heart, or your mom's a whore? You prick! This is no time for jokes. What a fucking loser. Go! - Nothing? - No. Don't just stand around. Check the back. What's that? Fucking bastard... Byeong-gyu! Over here. Hurry UP- Is that him? Over there. Where? Follow me. Where? What the...? Who's that? What is that thing? Don't come any closer. Back off. Back off. Stop it. That's enough, man! Sorry, man. You all right? Stop it! What are you doing to him? He's not... right... Put it down. - Let go! - We can talk this out. E-sam! Dad... Look. There's another one! That's him. That's him! Get him! Get him! Where? Son of a bitch! There he is. Over there. Son of a bitch! Where is he? Over there. Where? What's wrong? - Come over here. - What? Why did you stop? What's the matter? Come over here! Jong-go. Where'd he go? Where is that bastard? Hey, man! Get down here. Do you see him? Hey! Where did he go? Jong-go! I gotta catch him. Gotta catch that bastard. Catch that bastard. I can't believe this... - Gotta save my baby. - Come on. Let's go down. I gotta save my little girl. - We'll get him. - I've gotta find him, and save my baby. - Don't worry, we will. - Okay? Get your act together, man. We gotta save her. I know, man. I know. I have to save my daughter... Come on, man. I have to catch that bastard. Don't cry, man. Dammit, Jong-go! - (Wife) - Please, pick up. Shit! Was that a person? Wife The rat fell into the trap. You all right, baby? You Okay? I'm okay. Come here. You're okay now? You're okay now? Drink up. Good girl. Leaveit I want to tidy up a little. Leave it. We've got the shaman to thank for everything. Get some rest. You must be exhausted. Shaman Damn fool. Suspect arrested in the mushroom-tonic case... Victims have developed severe mental derangement... Mr. Yang E-sam? Yes. The landlady was a victim. Your uncle must've taken the tonic, too. It's turned the town upside down. We've gotta bring him in. You should get a lawyer. After all, he's a victim, too. What the fuck? What are you doing here? Get out. Missed calls - Shaman What the hell? What the...? Hello. It's me. Where are you? What about you? Don't ask me anything. You need to get to your daughter. Now. Tell me what's going on? I'm at your place. Get back to your house, now. First tell me what's going on. L. I misread the divination. It's not him. What are you talking about? I cast the hex on the wrong ghost. I saw a woman in front of your house. I made a grave mistake. A terrible, terrible mistake. It's not the Japanese man. That woman is the evil spirit. It was all her doing. So, go home now. I'm on my way there, too. Then". Who's the Japanese man? He was trying to kill that woman in order to save people from her. Understand? That Japanese man- he's a shaman, like me. Was the woman... wearing white? Did you see her? A young woman? That's her. ...defend us in battle. Be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil. Where is she? Where's Hyo-jin? ! Hyo-jin! What is it? Where are you headed in the dark of night? I'm asking you. Where is my daughter? Where is she? Girl about this tall? Yeah. Hvo-jm? That's right. She's possessed by an evil spirit. The old woman tells me the Jap is a ghost. He's trying to suck her blood dry... Shut the fuck up! Answer me, bitch! Where is Hyo-jin? - Have you seen the Jap? - Where's my daughter? At your home, where else? She's not home. She is. She just got back. Don't go now- or you'll all die. If you go now, your whole family will perish. What are you talking about? The Jap is waiting for you... to annihilate your family. He's dead. He's not dead. Death cannot touch him. The demon will soon enter your home. You've seen the demon? At the house of the hanged woman. It was a dream. It was no dream. I laid a trap for it. Wait here, until he's caught. That's all you need to do. What are you? A woman or a ghost? Why do you ask? I need to know... If I can put my faith in you. Just believe, and your family will be saved. What are you? Someone trying to save your daughter. A woman. I called all her friends... Hvo-jm? Hyo-jin! Baby. Baby". When will the demon come? It's already there. Hyo-jin. It's already there? Let me ask you one thing. What is your true form? What do you think is my true form? The devil. You're the devil. Why can't you answer? You've already said it. I'm the devil. Shaman I'm almost there. Where are you? Are you home? I'm with the woman now. You mustn't let her tempt you. Never. Whatever she tells you, you must go to your daughter now. Do you understand me? Understand? Do you? Is that your shaman? Don't believe what he tells you. They're in on it together. Isn't that right? You're already certain I'm the devil. That's why you came here... carrying that sickle. My words, whatever I say- they won't change your mind. No. That's not true. There's no doubt. You came here to confirm your suspicions about me. That's not true! If you say you're not the devil, and reveal your true form to me- I'll leave you alone. When the demon is snared, the rooster will cry three times. Wait until the third cry. You'll leave me alone? Yes. Two more. Do not waver. You'll leave? Yes. I'll leave you alone. Who said I'd let you leave? Then let me ask you one thing. What? Why in God's name is he doing this? Because her father has sinned. What sin? What sin did I commit? Her father suspected another. He tried to kill him, and finally succeeded. But my daughter...! My daughter... My daughter got sick first! How can that... How can that possibly... One more, now. How can that be...? Don't do it. What are you saying? Whether you walk out of here or not is completely up to you. Touch me and see. A ghost does not have flesh and bones, and you see I have both. Park Chun-bae No. That's not it. It's you. No. This is all your doing. Don't do it. Hvo-jm... Don't do it. Hvo-jm... No! What are you doing? Don't! Why are you troubled? Hyo-jin. Honey". Mother... Look at me. Look at me. Look at me! Please. Look at me. Look at me. Please... Please! Hyo-jin! Hvo-jm... Hyo-jin. Hyo-jin. Hvo-jm... Hyo-jin! Why is there doubt in your heart? See my hands, and my feet. You can see it is I. Myself. Oh Lord... Hvo-jm... It's okay. My baby. You know Daddy's a policeman. I'll take care of everything. Daddy will. They were startled and frightened, thinking they saw a ghost. He said to them, "Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds?" Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have. Luke 24:37-39 Presented by 20th Century Fox In association with Ivanhoe Pictures Distribution by 20th Century Fox Korea Corporation and Well Go USA Entertainment Production Company Side Mirror Fox International Productions Korea Kwak Do-Won Hwang Jung-Min It's still dawn. What is it? Somebody died. Chun Woo-Hee Who? You know Cho, the ginseng grower? Yeah. His wife died. It's pouring out there... Produced by Suh Dong Hyun and Kim Ho Sung Production Investment by Paul Huh Sung II Hey, where are you off to? Somebody died. Who? Wife of the ginseng farmer. Executive Producers: Robert Friedland and John Penotti That's all I know. But she's so young. You said it. - Don't go without eating. - I gotta hurry. Just a bite! Hurrying won't bring back the dead. Director of Photography Hong Kyung Pyo But I need to go now. Eat, will you? Come on. GAFFER: Kim Chang Ho PRODUCTION DESIGNER: Lee Hwo Kyung What happened? Not sure. I think someone killed her. Production Sound Mixer: Kim Sin Yong K.P.A. Action Choreographers: Yoo Sang Seob, Kwon Gui Duck What kind of fucker kills people? Damned son of a bitch. COSTUME DESIGNER: Chae Kyung Hwa MAKEUP HAIR ARTIST: Kim Seo Young Someone died? Eat up, dear. Who died? Special Effects by Kim Kwang Soo Extreme FX Special Makeup by Hwang Hyo Kyun, Kwak Tae Yong Cell Eat your breakfast. Bye, dad. EDITOR: Kim Sun Min MUSIC COMPOSERS: Jang Young Gyu and Dalpalan SOUND SUPERVISOR: Park Yong Ki Studio K VFX SUPERVISOR: Cheong Jai Hoon Digital Intermediate Supervisor: Kevin Kang DEXTER, THE EYE What took so long? ! Gimme a raincoat. Hurry up! We've got two corpses here. Where's the Captain? He went to Seoul, remember? Right. Come on! I'm coming. LINE PRODUCER: Lim Min Sub Written and Directed by Na Hong Jin Look at me, Heung-guk! Let go of me! I'm his uncle! Jong-gu! Heung-guk, how could you do this? Sergeant. Did it with this, I guess. Stabbed him, like, 20 times? Holy shit. What's that? Looks like the body was moved here after the murder. What a mess. That's Cho-the husband? Looks that way. I'll be damned. And the kid? We took him to a relative Why'd he do it? I don't smell booze on him, but he's not talking. Could be high on something. How else could he end up like that? What the hell happened? How's it going, Sergeant? I'm his uncle! Let go of me! Rotten bastard. Couldn't he use GPS? Why do I have to take him? Ain't that it? Get the wire cutters. Pull it back. What's that stink? So. Cho was killed here. What the fuck is all this? So he invited Cho over, killed him, put the body in a sack, dragged it to his house, and then killed his wife? Crime of passion. Make sure you photograph everything. Here, there, that stuff over there. Jong-gu! Get over here! Sergeant, come over here. Shit! Oh god... That cocksucker. What kind of twisted freak is he? Is that scary, or what? Scary, my ass. Anyway, the whole town's talking about it. Who told you that story? Byeong-gyu. That goddamned bastard... Now he's spreading those stories to you, too? Well, from what I hear, there's definitely something off with that guy. Like what? The corner store owner went crazy, The guy at the mill dropped dead, and then Heung-gu turns up dead two days ago. So? All this happened after that Japanese man arrived. Quit talking out of your ass, you ignorant dope. Who're you calling ignorant? Look, the test results on Heung-guk came back today. Apparently, he ate some fucked-up mushrooms. What? You know. The ones with the drugs that make you go crazy. His blood was full of that shit. And there were tons of dried mushrooms at his place. You really believe that? It's what the results said! Didn't you ever try those mushrooms as a kid? Hell no. All I know is, mushrooms don't do that to you. You saw that poor guy. Mushrooms would never make you that way. But I'm right about the Japanese guy. If everyone's talking about him, there's likely a good reason. What the hell? Power's gone out again. Fuck. I keep telling the Captain to get that damn wiring fixed. Never listens! What the fuck! - What's wrong? - What the Christ was that? - That thing outside. - What's outside? - Outside, that... fuck! - What's your problem? What is it, man? You check it out. - Me? - Yes, you! Dammit. You want me to go out? I'm telling you, asshole, to get your ass out there! For crying out loud... Okay, I'll go. Come on, hurry! Shit. Who the fuck are you? What the hell? Stop, goddamn it! Stop it, you dirty slut! You whore! Eat this, too. Man, you're heavy. I'm getting too old for this. Don't be ridiculous. Old ladies tell me men can still get it up after 70. Then buy me some herbal supplements. I keep having fucked-up nightmares. What're you doing in there? Oh hell. Shit! Nothing! Get away from the car. - Don't open it! - What are you doing? For crying out loud! Dad! Dad? Look. How do I look? Pretty. Freakishly pretty. How long were you watching? How much did you see? Don't worry, I won't tell. So you saw everything. No big deal. It's not the first time. What? Here. What? It's okay. Have a sip. Hurry up! Son of a bitch! What took you so long? Ignoring my calls? My mother-in-law got sick. Now you're using your mother-in-law as an excuse? You were taking a nap, I can tell! No, I wasn't. I swear. Get to work. Excuse me, ma'am? What the hell? What are you doing? Stop her. Yes, sir. Come with me, ma'am. Get off me! Sergeant, get her out of here. Back off, people. What's wrong with her? Please, calm down. That idiot... Calm down, ma'am. Jong-gu. Get cleaned up, man. Hey, don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault... that you're a little girly-man with balls the size of peas. Oh jeez. Hello! - Hey. - Hi, Hyo-jin. Hello, Captain. - How are you? - Good. - You've got clean clothes for Daddy? - Yeah. Mom got you clean boxers and an undershirt. Thanks, darling. Take a shower. I will. Go home. You didn't even eat, did you? All right, get out of here. Can't you see Daddy's working? See you. Goodbye, officers. - Bye. - See ya. - Take care, sweetie. - Oh, my. That scatterbrain. Seong-bok? Yeah. It just hit me. What? That woman... What woman? The one whose house burned down... I knew I'd seen her before. It's that naked woman from last night. What? The woman who was standing here last night. Crazy fools. They didn't burn to death. They were stabbed. All three of them? Yeah. Freaked the hell out of me, too. Prime suspect is the missus who hung herself. What the heck happened? Beats me. Over here. In here. What? Give us a hand. A little more. Found it. Idiot! Don't touch it with your bare hands! What the...? Are you a moron? That's evidence. He should've wrapped it in cloth or something, right? Gokseong Police Station So, she killed everyone? That's what they said. I'll be damned. So, that's what happened. Why did you call me? Things are crazy at work. Because of this case. Remember what I told you before? What? How the Jap raped a woman? What about it? You filthy slut. That woman. It was her. What the hell are you talking about? That woman he raped- it's the same woman whose house burned down. She went crazy after that, and used to run around naked at night. My wife saw her at the public bathhouse. She was totally covered in rashes and boils, Mumbling gibberish the whole time. Are you out of your mind? Byeong-gyu's got to stop this. Talking crap to his dimwitted buddies. You worthless bastard. It was your theory. I was just messing with you. Who in their right mind would believe crap like that? No, I think you're right. It can't be the mushrooms. That doesn't make sense. Gimme a break. What are you looking at? Get outta here! What? Ignore her. She's been doing that all morning. What a nutjob. So, how about you check with the local dermatologist. See if there's any medical records on Heung-guk or that woman. Stop it, you tramp! I can't believe this. It's important, you idiot! The rash is the link here. Come on, hurry. Stop it! You could hurt somebody! Community Health Center Oh, my. You're really getting on my nerves! Where do you live? Are you from this village? Hey. Don't come near me! Dammit! The lady killed them all. What? In there. In that room. What are you talking about? The old woman got a shaman to do some ritual, but the lady refused. That's why they all got killed. Are you a family member? No, I'm not. Then who are you? Come with me. Hey! What the...? You can't go in there. It's all right. Hey... Come on. She killed them here. The old woman got it the worst of it. Her head was smashed open like a watermelon. You saw with your own eyes? Of course I did. How? The old woman tells me the Jap is a ghost. He was gonna suck her blood dry. The Jap? Yeah. The Jap with the limp. Oh, him! You've seen him? Yeah. How many times? Once or twice. Be careful. Why? The old woman says, if you keep seeing him around, it's because he's stalking you. To suck your blood dry. Wait here for a second. Okay. Get your ass over here. What? Get over here now! But I just found the dermatologist. I found a witness. So, get over here as fast as you can. What the...? Where'd she go? What terrible sin did you commit, to be yelling like that? Are you feeling sick? Keep having weird dreams. Who's the medicine for? Hyo-jin's not feeling well. She couldn't go to school. She's burning up. And where were you while she was so sick? I was getting her medicine. What's with you? Take her to the hospital. What on earth was that? Turn off the hose first. Moron... Just coming into work now, are you? Hyo-jin wasn't feeling well. So now you're blaming your daughter? I'm not making it up. Did you find your witness? No, sir. After turning the whole town upside down. You think this case is going to be your big break? Seong-bok's been calling around. That's your excuse? Look at him. He can't even wash the car. Driving me up the wall. Even the Chief heard about your witness. Whether you lied, or let her get away- you're screwed. Yes, sir. This is driving me up the wall. Don't pay any attention to the crazy girl's talk. Not her. I'm talking about this. Family Tragedy Linked To Wild Mushrooms "Murdered by... wild mushrooms"? What did the dermatologist say? Mushrooms? He wasn't sure, so he referred Heung-guk to the hospital. Told you. It can't be the mushrooms. It's not impossible. Shut your hole. You know that story Byeong-gyu told you? There are so many. The one about the naked man eating the deer carcass. What's gotten into you? At a crazy time like this? It's because things are so crazy. You know the guy who saw it, right? "Herbs Tonics" Over here. You may not believe it, but I saw it with my own eyes. Look at this. Can you see it? Sure. I got 22 stitches. From falling on your head while you were drunk? What are you talking about? I'm too old to make shit up. You got proof? Proof? Hell yes, proof! I'm not the kind to talk shit without backing it up. Come look at this. You ready? Look. You see? Empty, right? I stayed the hell away from the mountains since that day. Even put the store up for sale. How is that proof? What? Damn you... That's not the point. The point is, when I opened my eyes, there he was-stark naked except for a diaper. A diaper? That's right. A grown man? I'm telling you. - Grown men can wear diapers. - Get outta here. Bladder control problems are surprisingly common in adults. But why go into the woods to treat incontinence? - Incontinence... - Am I talking to myself here? Anyway, he had his face buried in the carcass, his body covered in blood... his eyes all bloodshot. Then he looked up, and all of a sudden... I haven't slept since that day. - He was chewing on the guts? - That's right. - You saw him eating raw flesh? - Yeah... Wait, look here. See where the skin's broken? Bastard even bit me. Where does the guy live? Why, you gonna go there? I think I should. Don't. You'll regret it. It's just a suspicion, but... You know how the villagers have been dying out recently? He's got something to do with it. He's not human. Give me his address. It's out in the middle of nowhere. You've gotta have a general idea. It's hard to explain in words. It's deep in the valley somewhere. How much further is it? Still a ways ahead. Shit! What's the matter? It's there. Over there. I don't see a house. Look. Right over there. Whoa, isn't that a deer? So, you weren't making this up. What did I tell you, dammit? What in God's name... What's happening? Look. You know... What's going on? That should do it, right? What? You gotta show us the house. It's just over that hill. It's just the one house. You can't miss it. You came all the way here. You should see it through. Don't touch me, I gotta go! Where do you think you're going? I said let go! Shit... Hey! Mister. Mister? Mister? You all right? You fucking bastards. We're sorry. Fuck off. I'm gonna get your asses sacked. You just wait. We're real sorry, okay? Fuck you. You deserve to get scorched by lightning. Where are you going? You got hit by lightning. Hey! What's the point of taking all those health tonics- if it's lightning that kills you? How can something like this happen? What are the chances? But they'll say, thanks to all those tonics, he survived. Nurse! Nurse! It's Park Heung-guk in 302! You gotta come now. It's Park Heung-guk! It's an emergency! Doctor! What's going on? Can anybody make sense of what's happening here? Let's go back to the Jap's house tomorrow. There's definitely something going on there. Hyo-jin? Hyo-jin. Baby! Daddy's right here. Daddy's right here, sweetie. Look at Daddy. Look at Daddy. Hyo-jin! Look at me. Hyo-jin! Look at me. Look at Daddy. Daddy's here. Dad... - I'm right here. - Do something, Daddy! What, sweetie? Someone keeps banging on the door, trying to get in. Who? A strange man. He's trying to get in. It's okay, it's okay... Hyo-jin. Hyo-jin? What is this? You're all right? Morning, Dad. But she never eats fish... Something's wrong with her. I heard you and Hyo-jin last night. I asked the old lady next door to recommend a good shaman. I'm gonna consult with him, just so you know. Got that? Okay. Good. Hey. Say hello. This is my nephew. What, a priest? Not yet, he's in training. A deacon. We'll need a translator to talk to the man. You speak Japanese? Just a little. He lived in Japan when he was young. What's that on your neck? Nothing. You've gotta be kidding me. What's your name, son? Yang E-sam. Two-three Is that your real name? Yes, sir. Let's go. Get in. Anybody home? What is it? Goddamn perv. Look at this. What does it say? Uncle, this is illegal. I know. Then why... We should stop. If you won't help, wait outside. But Uncle! Okay, you wait outside. What are you staring at? Go keep a lookout. What the fuck? - Son of a bitch! - Get over here! Get him off me! What were you doing poking around the doghouse? Block the door! Get over here! Shit! Seong-bok, you bastard! Fucking bastard! Where is it? Where did it go? Over there. Seong-bok. I think it's the owner. Seong-bok? Excuse me. Are you all right? Yeah. What's the matter with you? Did you get bit? Huh? Say something, dammit. He's the criminal. You're scaring me, man. Snap out of it. It wasn't just one or two people. He took pictures of them when they were alive- and then went back for more when they went crazy and died. What the hell are you going on about? He's the criminal. That's enough. I'll deal with you later. I'm sure of it. He... He took his victims' belongings and did something with them. What did you see? Tell me! Jeon Hyo-jin You're getting all wet! Where is Hyo-jin? In the living room. Hyo-jin. You're home early. Did you lose your trainer? No, why? What's this, then? It's not mine. Isn't this your handwriting? I said, it's not mine. You know anything about a Japanese man living in the village? You're dripping water all over the place. Answer me. Do you know him or not? Did you meet him? Answer me. You're scaring her. Get out for a sec. Come on, this is serious. It's you and me. Daddy is a policeman. I'll know if you lie. Did you meet this man? Tell me. Tell you what? Everything. Where you met, what you did. Why should I tell you? Because it's important. What's so important? Answer me, girl! I said, what's so important? What's so damn important? What the hell... is so damned important? You don't even know what's important. Stop grilling me, goddamn it! Fuck! What are you doing? I thought you were sleeping. What the hell? Yanking up your daughter's skirt in the middle of the night? Speak, will you? Tell me, asshole! Tell me, you fucking shithead! Fuck you! Stop staring, motherfucker! Don't call your daddy that! Don't you look at me! Stop it! Daddy said he was sorry. I'm gonna kill all of you. How could you? I met the shaman today. He thinks there's a spirit in the house. Something's possessed Hyo-jin. And if we don't act, there'll be dead bodies. He's supposed to be the best. Why didn't you answer my calls? Come with me, and don't give me any crap. Ask him where he stashed the stuff from in there. The things in there... where are they now? What things? He asks what things. The stuff we saw before. Things we saw... before. The photographs? You mean the pictures? Yeah, the pictures. And the other stuff. Yes. I burned them. Sorry? I burned them. He burned them. Where? Where? In the kitchen. Bastard! You! What did you come here to do? What did you come here to do? Ask him again. What did you come here to do? To travel. To travel, he says. Tell him I'll throw him in jail if he doesn't fess up. Tell us the truth. Even if I told you, you wouldn't believe me. He says you wouldn't believe him. Look, you translate everything I say, - word for word. - Yes, sir. You fucking prick! Oh... You loose-assed, dog-fucking son of a whore! So, uh... What kind of tourist hangs pictures of dead people on his wall? Travel... the dead... Why was this in your house? How did this...? Who the fuck are you? Who are you? I know what you're doing in this village. I saw that room. And I know what the fuck you're doing to my daughter! I want you... to stop what you're doing, and leave this village quietly. I mean it. Leave. Quietly. This is Gokseong. My turf. Don't mess around and get yourself killed. Just leave. If you don't leave, you'll die. If you heard me, say something. Or at least nod your fucking head! Please answer. So, you're... Shut up, bitch! You're blowing me off? Oh, I'm just not worth answering. Is that it? You're not even gonna listen, right? Ain't that right? I'm trying to speak to you, but you're not listening! What's this? What the fuck is this? What the hell is all this? What the... What the fuck are these rituals you're doing? ! What the fuck are you doing in my town! Do you know whose daughter you're messing with? Son of a bitch! Look out! Jong-gu? Now what? Starting to see the light? I'll give you three days. Get out, or you'll end up like your goddamned dog. Translate. Translate what I said. How long has it been like this? Just a few days. So? The symptoms- they're the same as the others'. There's gotta be an explanation for what she has. They say they don't know. What is it? Oh God! Who the fuck did this? What? ! You okay? Get your husband. Who did this? Who the fuck did this? Jong-gu! Jong-gu! What's the matter! Does he drink a lot? It's nothing to worry about. I'll take the needles out in 20 minutes. Cut back on the drinking. Yeah. It's started. You better brace yourself. What I said the other day-we'll do it tomorrow. Where is Hyo-jin? You can't back out now. Get the money for the ritual. Where is she? At home. Where else would she be? I asked the old lady next door to watch her. You left her alone with a stranger? Are you out of your minds? Don't move. Hyo-jin. Baby. - What's the matter? - Oh my God! Hyo-jin! Hyo-jin! Hyo-jin! Drop that, baby. Don't cry. It's okay. It's okay. It'll be okay. Quick! Call 911! This is all the work of that Jap. Ever since we went to his house, my body's been in pain. I'm burning up. I'm seeing things. A man's face comes out of the wall. I don't think he's alive. We've gotta do something, or that bastard will get us first. Shut the damn door! What's in that jar? Which one? The one with the red lid. It's just soy sauce. Bring it over. What, are you deaf? Out of the way, come on. Stand back. What is that? I'll be fucked... It's a real wicked spirit we've got here. You don't want to leave, do you? Let's go! Stop it! Hyo-jin! Come here, you! You met up with something recently you weren't supposed to? I don't follow you. Did you disturb someone? Of all the evil I've seen, this is the strongest. You disturbed it. Oh, God! What do we do now? Who is it? Who did you disturb? Tell him. A Japanese man... I knew it. That's no man. That's a ghost. All the things happening around here are his doing. If nothing is done, it's not just your daughter, but everything that walks on two feet will perish. Sir! This is Park Chun-bae. He owns this house. He killed his wife, too? It appears so. What's that bastard's name? Park Chun-bae. Then what? What do you mean, what? Gotta get rid of it. Either banish it, or kill it. I'm casting a deadly hex tomorrow at the hour of the dog. Yes, sir. You got the money? How much? About 10 grand, don't you think? I'll have it ready. Good. Listen. What I'm doing tomorrow- it's no ordinary ritual. I'll be casting a death hex. It's incredibly dangerous. So you can't do anything that would taint it. No intercourse. Watch what you eat and drink. Or the spell will backfire. Yes, sir. Okay then. You can go. Can I ask you something? What? That Japanese guy. You said he's a ghost. So? I don't get how a living person can be a ghost. It's not a living human. He died a long time ago. He must have been human once. But not anymore. So then, the ghost got inside him? Well, that's how it started. Not everything that moves, breathes, and talks is alive. Countless people have perished because they didn't understand that. If it's not stopped... that demon will destroy this village. Demon? An evil ghost! Even among other demons, he's a master of evil. If that's true, why did it have to be... your daughter? What sin did that young girl ever commit? Yes. If you go fishing, do you know what you'll catch? No. He's just fishing. Not even he knows what he'll catch. He just threw out the bait, and your daughter took it. That's all it was. Park Chun-bae - This one? - No. Money. Yes, money. 21 dollars more. - No! - That's okay. Oh, come on. Tell him to stop. Stop! Stop! I said stop! Jong-gu! Jong-gu! What's the matter? Look at me. Baby? Baby? Hyo-jin! Please make him stop... Please... Please make him stop. Dad! Dad... Hyo-jin. We shouldn't do this... Stop, you bastards! Stop! Fucking bastards! Stop right now. Stop! Stop. I said stop! Stop. I'm gonna smash your heads in! Stop, I said. Get out. Now! Everything started on that day? I'll try speaking to the Father. What you're telling me is true? Yes. And you said the shaman told you this. From their perspective, a ghost is the spirit of a dead man. But that man is alive. I've heard about this man, too. Rumor has it he's a renowned professor. And there are darker, more disturbing rumors- Some say he's a Buddhist monk. But they're just rumors. How can you believe them? No, Father. They're definitely not rumors. You sound terribly sure. Did you see it with your own eyes? How can you be sure without seeing for yourself? Take her back to the hospital. Trust the doctor. There's nothing the Church can do for you now. Come with me to the Jap's. Sorry? I gotta see for myself if he's really a ghost or not. If he is, then I won't be able to kill him. Where is he? Is everyone here? Yeah. Why'd you call us so early? Cheol-yeong couldn't come. His sow is farrowing. What's with your face? This ain't a joke? You're serious, right? Yeah. Cross your heart, or your mom's a whore? You prick! This is no time for jokes. What a fucking loser. Go! - Nothing? - No. Don't just stand around. Check the back. What's that? Fucking bastard... Byeong-gyu! Over here. Hurry up. Is that him? Over there. Where? Follow me. Where? What the...? Who's that? What is that thing? Don't come any closer. Back off. Back off. Stop it. That's enough, man! Sorry, man. You all right? Stop it! What are you doing to him? He's not... right... Put it down. - Let go! - We can talk this out. E-sam! Dad... Look. There's another one! That's him. That's him! Get him! Get him! Where? Son of a bitch! There he is. Over there. Son of a bitch! Where is he? Over there. Where? What's wrong? - Come over here. - What? Why did you stop? What's the matter? Come over here! Jong-gu. Where'd he go? Where is that bastard? Hey, man! Get down here. Do you see him? Hey! Where did he go? Jong-gu! I gotta catch him. Gotta catch that bastard. Catch that bastard. I can't believe this... - Gotta save my baby. - Come on. Let's go down. I gotta save my little girl. - We'll get him. - I've gotta find him, and save my baby. - Don't worry, we will. - Okay? Get your act together, man. We gotta save her. I know, man. I know. I have to save my daughter... Come on, man. I have to catch that bastard. Don't cry, man. Dammit, Jong-gu! - Wife - Please, pick up. Shit! Was that a person? Wife The rat fell into the trap. You all right, baby? You okay? I'm okay. Come here. You're okay now? You're okay now? Drink up. Good girl. Leave it. I want to tidy up a little. Leave it. We've got the shaman to thank for everything. Get some rest. You must be exhausted. Shaman Damn fool. Suspect arrested in the mushroom-tonic case... Victims have developed severe mental derangement... Mr. Yang E-sam? Yes. The landlady was a victim. Your uncle must've taken the tonic, too. It's turned the town upside down. We've gotta bring him in. You should get a lawyer. After all, he's a victim, too. What the fuck? What are you doing here? Get out. Missed calls - Shaman What the hell? What the...? Hello. It's me. Where are you? What about you? Don't ask me anything. You need to get to your daughter. Now. Tell me what's going on? I'm at your place. Get back to your house, now. First tell me what's going on. I... I misread the divination. It's not him. What are you talking about? I cast the hex on the wrong ghost. I saw a woman in front of your house. I made a grave mistake. A terrible, terrible mistake. It's not the Japanese man. That woman is the evil spirit. It was all her doing. So, go home now. I'm on my way there, too. Then... Who's the Japanese man? He was trying to kill that woman in order to save people from her. Understand? That Japanese man- he's a shaman, like me. Was the woman... wearing white? Did you see her? A young woman? That's her. Defend us in battle. Be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil. Where is she? Where's Hyo-jin? ! Hyo-jin! What is it? Where are you headed in the dark of night? I'm asking you. Where is my daughter? Where is she? Girl about this tall? Yeah. Hyo-jin? That's right. She's possessed by an evil spirit. The old woman tells me the Jap is a ghost. He's trying to suck her blood dry... Shut the fuck up! Answer me, bitch! Where is Hyo-jin? - Have you seen the Jap? - Where's my daughter? At your home, where else? She's not home. She is. She just got back. Don't go now- or you'll all die. If you go now, your whole family will perish. What are you talking about? The Jap is waiting for you... to annihilate your family. He's dead. He's not dead. Death cannot touch him. The demon will soon enter your home. You've seen the demon? At the house of the hanged woman. It was a dream. It was no dream. I laid a trap for it. Wait here, until he's caught. That's all you need to do. What are you? A woman or a ghost? Why do you ask? I need to know... If I can put my faith in you. Just believe, and your family will be saved. What are you? Someone trying to save your daughter. A woman. I called all her friends... Hyo-jin? Hyo-jin! Baby. When will the demon come? It's already there. Hyo-jin. It's already there? Let me ask you one thing. What is your true form? What do you think is my true form? The devil. You're the devil. Why can't you answer? You've already said it. I'm the devil. Shaman I'm almost there. Where are you? Are you home? I'm with the woman now. You mustn't let her tempt you. Never. Whatever she tells you, you must go to your daughter now. Do you understand me? Understand? Do you? Is that your shaman? Don't believe what he tells you. They're in on it together. Isn't that right? You're already certain I'm the devil. That's why you came here... carrying that sickle. My words, whatever I say- they won't change your mind. No. That's not true. There's no doubt. You came here to confirm your suspicions about me. That's not true! If you say you're not the devil, and reveal your true form to me- I'll leave you alone. When the demon is snared, the rooster will cry three times. Wait until the third cry. You'll leave me alone? Yes. Two more. Do not waver. You'll leave? Yes. I'll leave you alone. Who said I'd let you leave? Then let me ask you one thing. What? Why in God's name is he doing this? Because her father has sinned. What sin? What sin did I commit? Her father suspected another. He tried to kill him, and finally succeeded. But my daughter...! My daughter... My daughter got sick first! How can that... How can that possibly... One more, now. How can that be...? Don't do it. What are you saying? Whether you walk out of here or not is completely up to you. Touch me and see. A ghost does not have flesh and bones, and you see I have both. Park Chun-bae No. That's not it. It's you. No. This is all your doing. Don't do it. Hyo-jin... Don't do it. Hyo-jin... No! What are you doing? Don't! Why are you troubled? Hyo-jin. Honey... Mother... Look at me. Look at me! Please. Look at me. Please... Please! Hyo-jin! Hyo-jin... Hyo-jin. Hyo-jin. Hyo-jin! Why is there doubt in your heart? See my hands, and my feet. You can see it is I. Myself. Oh Lord... Hyo-jin... It's okay. My baby. You know Daddy's a policeman. I'll take care of everything. Daddy will. 141 years ago, after humanity declared that God had died We were in the middle of the longest winter in the history of mankind. PHOENIX,ARIZONA2307 300 years of ruthless cold. And it will probably end for another million years. No, until none of us disappears. ARIZONAFEDERATION- POPULATION: 2.109 The only remaining trace of mankind, is 10 meters under the ice. Where the last Thermoelectric pumped life to the remains of our infrastructure. We are the only surviving animals. Looters, still driven by greed. Creators of a synthetic world: The Humanoids. Our children of black blood. Created according to our image. A race of workers and those, who keep. Any hope of peace has long been forgotten, lost time. I see two Noides, fleeing Subterra-3. - Confirmation of the application. - Confirmation! Dispatch it! There is a patrol! Separate yourself! Wait, Noids are on the move. Scanning Lost in the trees, disappeared. SEARCHEDBYTHEARIZONAFEDERATION PERSON OBJECTIVE: ASH-393 HUMANOID SERIES: SURFACEARTICA300 TYPE: HOMINUS FALSA MK9 CRIMES: MURDER,HUMANOIDREBELLIONLEADER SPARTAN MISSION 7: 2307 THE WINTER DREAM HUMANOID - THELASTHUMANITY- 5YEARSLATER SUBTERRA2 COMMERCIALSECTOR Only liars are no longer smiling. They enjoy living when they are extinguished. Even before the animals died. Buried in the tomb of eternal ice. And all the Humanoids-slaves of the world can not bring her back. Life forms us... Like it or not. It's the decisions we make in the dark. When we are alone, in our secret place. There we form the world, which surrounds us. And here, at the end of it all, we sit together alone. Caught in our decisions. Desperate for something to save us. I'm thinking about her, waiting for me on the other side. QVapor the most popular drug in the 24th century. I call her: "The greatest achievement of mankind" Because it's the only thing that lessens the pain. The only thing that returns it to me. Mara! ... Mara! Bishop, I'm here. I've never left. Alarm in the sector! Subject identified! Spartan-7 deserter Commander Bishop. All AZF officers report immediately in the Subterra 2 trading area. Suspected QVapor overdose and psychosis. Welcome to the Pinky Amusement Park. Here will be the wettest dream come true! Get in! Commander Bishop, sir? - Commander? - It's full with Steam, sir! Hey, idiot... General Trajano requests your report for the service! Time to take you home! Raise it up. OMG! Commander Bishop, are you all right, sir? Do not call me "sir"! Commercial sector 1, insured. Prepare 51 for Spartan-7... Bishop... It'll be good to see you again in your uniform, Bishop. Who says I'm going to put it? Come on, we both know, you're not a deserter. Find another, for your murders. You made an oath on Spartan-7. Take off your uniform, do not remove the promise. Come on, then, arrest me. All my oaths were broken long ago. Sorry for Mara. She was a good woman. It is difficult to deal with such a thing. Especially today. That's why I brought you here, son. It's time to get Mara closer. We told you that your baby died. I wish it would have been so. That would be better than the truth. Ash-393 took it from the womb of your broken wife. He took it with him. No one knows where. We could not tell you the truth that time, but... But if he had left, a Noid kidnapped a human baby... We would have genocidal panic above our heads. You're telling me? ... That my son still lives? Yes, Bishop. But the most important: We're giving you a chance to get them back. Find Ash. Then you will find your daughter. My daughter... Our daughter, Mara! Five years have passed. How could he survive on the ice for so long? She does not have improved DNA. Extension of DNA at the end of mitosis sequencing the completed genetic material. No human survives without Iso-Gel one day less than 60 degrees. Could she really be alive? Alert! F-7100 to the maximum .. Reprogramming of DNA is complete. Markers identified for strength and healing. I think to resurrect a broken man, I suppose everything is possible. They brought me back, Mara. To the place I never thought to return. Spartan-7 slave police. Ishmael... What happened brother? You never came with me for help. Ready for this? I do not know, Ish. Come on, Commander! Your team is waiting for you All members of the UCF crew have arrived... Ash-393 is considered to be the most sophisticated noid ever created by men. A class one surface humanoid 300 Series. It has full AI access. He was the leader of Noid's rebellion. He was. Is dead. By rumors has many crimes In the Federation of Arizona, He recently arrived in the northeast corridor. The reactor 12 has been turned off. He killed 28. Hidden by intelligence, it is in the death zone 714. Hidden in the death zone? Does not sound very clever The fusion of the nucleus has probably smoothed the brain of the Noids. Or, Commander? Not as soft as your dick. Revenge is a bitch... Like you! What, Kix? Stop him! Five years ago I got a team sent to kill Ash. We lost contact here. There temperatures must be subarctic. Your Iso-Gel will last 48 hours. After that your thermal protection will increase by 1% per hour of exposure. So, do we have four days, before we make ourselves palettes? You will not need much, son. - One question, General. - What is it, Kix? What range is recommended for some after freezing. Can I calm him down? And bury him in the snow? It has more deaths than you have wet dreams. They are in perfectly capable hands. But that's a long time ago, General. Before qVapor has fried his gray matter. Commander Bishop you have the floor. Weapon systems what we have? Each stay in the team art piece in the man Sources of energy, sonar grenades, radon guns. Enough firepower for everyone to melt ice cubes in the death zone... Know the magnetic field, That the meteor has caused. Why did we ever put electronic weapons there anyway? Intelligence has new information about the magnetic field in the death zone. Their wrist weapons have been modified and operate within the death zone. I'd like to order five carabinier rifles. 3,000 cartridges of ammunition And 50 thermal grenades. For backup, sir. I like the sound, Commander. said it used to be one of the hottest deserts on earth... But 500 miles of radio alive this tundra became "Death Zone 714". I guess hell finally froze. Again, search for the needle in the haystack. You just have to love it. I do not understand that. After five years it can be everywhere. Why did they wait so long until they sent us, anyway? Procrastination is like masturbation: At first it feels good but in the end you just catch yourself. I've got all the data out, Commander! I'm a backup person, nasty killer machine! I do not need no hand, to kill a Noid. Because you've never seen one of those things take the man's arm. You said it! If so my kill rate goes high, I like that. I know the reports on AI systems. The majority of patients are 10 years after implantation. So you have no problem, you're wrong. Sorry for all the shit about the death of your wife, sir. Between us, this mission is not about Noids. Is personal. We are his devilish dogs... And we come back healthy! Hey Bishop, what are you doing? Shaving your legs? If we do not have more energy and your blaster has become shiny black cock What do you do then? Then I put the bastard in the ass! I caught something warm, behind the snow. Okay, Kix. - Warm the gun! - Your best idea so far! Kix waits for my signal. - You're the boss, Commander! - Go to your last team! I thought this noid could fly. Hatta, do not continue. We need to know, who is under the blanket. I do not want to kill any innocent. This is the Commander Bishop, Spartan-7 Humanoid Command. You are located in the Federation area. In the death zone 714. What have you lost here? Under the authorization code of the Federation Z-4711 A report of the genome documentation. You have five seconds to meet. Five four three two one...! The target moves, permission to shoot! Permission denied Kix. We have no idea who he is. We reached it on foot. I'm going to take his death. Stop the fire, stop the fire, Kix! That is an order! Where is the? Do we have eye contact? Negative, it's gone. Damn it, bishop! I had it in sight. Subutai! - Subutai! Salt! - Is dead! Commander! Commander, are you hurt? Where is Subutai? Subutai! Subutai! ! What the hell? ! Do not! My truck! Damn Noids. Curse! Look at this shit. Ash scraped the engine and the whole system. For the repair we need a GMM. - A GMM? "A great damn hammer, you idiot!" The equipment and the ammunition are ashes! We are 100 miles from the base. A long way home without snow shoes. Without Ash we're not going anywhere. The first time I agree with you, Bishop. At the edge of the death zone is a probe with emergency equipment. If we get there, we have a chance. Let's go hunting again. You do not have to worry about hounding Ash. ... he will hunt us! The Humanoids were created, ready to serve. They are stronger than we are and manage the weather. They are hairless, His blood is sour and black. They are like mules and can not reproduce. A security measure against genetic competition in the future. Its Creator said: His tranquility rests in Absence of reproduction. But something is different now. The rebellion is spreading. They fight until his death, something to protect. Something to preserve. The blood is fresh, but not human. Let's find out, he's at the end of the blood trail. It smells like something big died. Yes, Ash has returned in his suit. Just smell it in your pussy with your breath, Kix. Listen to the talk. Pay attention! . Okay, we split up Come here, little bird. Come here, come to Dad! Stop the nonsense! I have goose bumps here! Who knows, what is circulating around here. All right, I'm going in. I'll cover you. Let's go for it! You are dead, Kix Suck me the dick! What do you think this is, Commander? Noid art? Hey friend. Fuck you Fortunately, he is dead. Let's take a blood sample. Shit! Hatta! Hatta! Shit, I can not aim! I'm going out! Son of a bitch have to pay! Hey, asshole ! Come! Get it! You created the wrong gangster! I love the taste of black blood in the morning! The thermal camera did not recognize its pattern. I thought he was dead. The turns of electronics. We are approaching the death zone. You're good? Motherfucker! The electronics are fine, Commander. Well, Kix! What a sight you have so extreme. I've never seen a noid with hair. Because they do not grow hair, asshole. Mutated Humanoids. True. - This is a Sammy 69-7-H. - A Sammy 69-7-H? This is an old model of pleasure, is not it? They probably lost their virginity, did not they, Hatta? - Are you cold? - No sir. Pack it in the tank! Can you walk on that leg? Yes. You're going to make it, brother. Ice teaches all humility. It shows us our limits. Our weaknesses. Our humanity. But in the area of death the ice is ruthless. Looks like someone had your bright idea, Bishop. An accident rarely comes alone. Sauber! It seems that your drug addicts friends are condemned here, What? Are we going to play now "Cowboys and the damn Indians"? Only we are the damned Indians. Everyone knows the damn Indians never win, my friend! Noids have no combat training. We do. Re-assemble and prepare. Check the Noid for DNA reconfiguration. I'll contact the base. I say: We hide in the next camp. The next camp is 100 miles from here. We're dead before we get there. Do not look so serious. I will not let you die. Very well, little one? Fuck you, Hatta! Accept the shit. We contacted the enemy right outside the Death Zone. The truck is gone. Subutai has fallen. But we ended up mutated humanoids in the process, So it was a mutated humanoid Ash-393? Negative, but it has been hormonally changed. We took a sample for an exam. I do not care about mutated notions. I want Ash-393! - I want him dead and disintegrated! - Roger, General. We continue the search. We need an evacuation group. Ishmael is almost frozen. You must leave here immediately. General? Can you hear me? Send an evacuation group. I repeat: Send an evacuation group. Will we stay here all night, or what? An electromagnetic storm is coming. If we wait, we'll lose Ash. If we move now, we still have a chance. I can do it, Commander! Kix, stay with Ishmael, until the storm is over. I'm not a fucking nanny! "What were Trajan's orders?" - Ash's going to die. Then I'll take care of that. I was born to hunt, Commander. The collection team arrives in the morning. All you have to do is stay warm until then. Can you do that for me, Spartan? I can do it, Commander. Stay strong, brother. See you upstairs. What is it, Kix? Where's the fucking bitch with thick balls now ? ! I have your breath hanging right here, Hatta. In this forest... he pursues you! - Shit! - What the hell...? Welcome to the area of death. The energies are useless here. Who says it? The magnetic field. Download charged particles. So Trajan was wrong? Shit! I do not give up! Hatta, let's flank it. You're hurt? Of course not... I can not say the same thing about Trajan's partner. Bill Carson. You found old Bill, huh? He was a Spartan-5. And a friend. Establish a perimeter, we'll camp here. And give him a decent funeral. Ash has something special. I have something for him. We walked together, side by side. He waited to see me fall. I never fall I wanted to inoculate his black blood. I'll find you, Ash! Because you messed with the wrong gangster! Why do you always read the same book, Kix? What makes it so special? "Men do not perish in the results of lost wars, But the loss of that resistance force Which contains only pure blood. Who are racially pure people and conscious of their blood, He can never be a slave. In this world will always be bastard and bastard alone. Humanoid mutants are fully capable of reproducing different types. That is the only thing that the creator did well. Are you doing something deep, not Kix? "Does that book teach you all that?" -Open mind. It helps me understand, what I do. Every single mutant must be exterminated for the human race to survive. Let's put it as data in the briefcase, Kix. Your psycho propaganda bothered me. Adolf Hitler was an unknown prophet. Your message is our salvation! You have real damage, Kix. "We will have to fight for the freedom and the independence of the homeland Only in this way can the people fulfill the task, which they received from the Creator. " There is no 'homeland' anymore. It's just what we left, that's all that's left. The atmosphere was destroyed by us. No one else is to blame. And the asteroid, Bishop? It was in the crater. I saw it with my own eyes. It looks more like an atomic bomb to me. It was an internal job... That is always. Humanity is responsible for the eternal winter. Not God, or humanoids. It will no longer be a time hunted by the shadows of your own guilt. It can eradicate parasites. " I'll be looking for you in the destroyed fields, Bishop. Ok Kix, since you have so much energy tonight why do not you take the first guard? Have fun with your book. Mara! Come on, Bishop. Get up, Spartan. There is something in the trees. I'll send you back to hell! Yellow-eyed devil! Bishop... I've marked it, Commander. I marked it clearly for you. Bishop, I'm here. Did you miss the fucking shot? 10 meters away? You are the total ruin, man. Did not Trajan take you out of the sewer? I would be a damned commander! And my team would still be alive! Now it's your turn, Bishop. Alpha, Mike, Foxtrot bye, son of a bitch! Listen, or you'll never pull the trigger again. You do not have the eggs. Reckless bitch! Mara, they were wrong. There is life in the area of death. I will not resign. I will not stop, Before we find our daughter. You are with me my love You're here with me now. Ash! Come on, my friend. Calientetate. Hey, everything will be fine... do not die! Do you listen? Calientetate. Returns! Do not die! I want to see it again ... last time. I promise! I swear today until the end of days, I will love you and honor you, if you are with me. I will, now and forever. Stop, before you get hurt! I'm Atka. It's okay. I am here to help you. Let go! I helped you. Where are my clothes? How long I was passed out. Not enough. You're welcome! Bishop. Bishop? where we are? This is Quannik's house. - Quannik? - He's been waiting for you. - As it did? - He died. Forget this. I have to get back on the road. How can I get out of here? What are you looking for? - Death? - That's funny. That's all the Death Zone offers your people. I'm looking for a man. He is not a man! His blood is as black as coal! You know it. I saw how he buried you alive. For him you are dead now. It will not give you more trouble. I stole something. Something very special. What? My daughter. Is the child yours? - Little? - Yeah. But I thought she was one of them. Can you take me with her? Dangerous, she is protected. Please, Atka. My life is nothing without it. Quannik thought, that the time of red blood soon ends. Soon comes the time of black blood. He lives for 143 years. Many of his visions came true. He said there will be no cure for black blood. Ash is nearby. I can feel his presence. Its smell is lifeless. Your path does not make sense. His traces only exist in the past. Like a ghost hunt. Ghosts have a soul. He does not. From a technical point of view, A mind is a soul. This is not funny, Bishop. I've seen them kill. Suicide would be the best option. If you're afraid,... I get it. Just put me in the right direction and I go alone. We must find Cage. That's not my style. Not like a hiding place. Cage is a man! An old and nasty fighter. With many weapons. He lives four days walking, Inside the death zone. No human is so crazy. I did not say, that is not crazy. Come. I know the way Hello, guests. My name is Sara. Sorry, my husband is not there. Will come back later We wait. Cookies, that's milk. I can see that, Sara. Where do you get them? I made them, of course. They try my husband better than his mother's cookies. Did you make the milk? What the hell is going on here? You're a humanoid! Why do you have hair? My husband told me that I am the first blonde but unfortunately I am brunette, so Where are you from, Sara? - I was born in this cabin. - No, that's impossible! Tell me the truth. - Where are you from? - You're far from home, Spartan! "Do you want to tell me what you do in my cabin?" - He's a friend, Cage. There is no reason for the weapon. With her, I'll blow your face away! I'm looking for a girl. She was kidnapped by a Humanoid. My partner said that maybe you could help me. This is no help for the Spartans. I do not like to waste time with Federation slag. Spartan, my ass! As I said... I would appreciate any information you or Sara may have about the girl. You must be five now. If you can not help, let's go our way again. And we do not ask questions. A gun does not want to help you, son. What if I do not want to help you? What happens then? Question answered? Rat, piece of Spartan garbage! You and your Indian slut can kiss me in the ass! You play my wife, you bastard, I'll kill you and all of you... Do you have permission to have this Noid mutated? Delicious breast milk for your cookies! It's no noid, it's Sara. Do not waste it, I'm too old for the way I like it. - I know where the rebel Noids are. - Where are they! I traded with them, thinking I would trade enough. Trade with fugitive humanoids? Maybe you get only 30 years. And old Sara, she should be more than happy to return to the local palaces of pleasure. "And give milk... for cookies!" - It's okay! I'll help you! We have to wait for them at the meeting place. They always arrive at eight. There are only a few kilometers. Okay, biscuit. Daddy's here now. Is Dad. I will protect you. Have you no manners, son of a bitch? - Do you have any more weapons? - Pissing ice balls on the icebergs? This is all my team, long before your time. Sergeant Ulysses H. Cage, Spartan-3. Retired after 30 years of service in the field. Be my butt. The Spartans do not retreat. They die like a hero. Or they pee like cowards. Put this piece of gun away and I'll show you exactly how cowardly I am. Why did you run away then? In time for the promotion. There were only two of us: I, with 30 years of experience in the field. And this kid from the academy. It was full of extensions. Artificially intelligent implants and so on. There could only be one of us. We treat it the same way. Or your way. I guess the manager was probably good, so... Trajan son of a bitch... Trajan became the new commander. And I... I was thrown out of this garbage. Trajan? General Trajan? General? Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, that suits you. I always knew that son of a bitch would come up easily. At that moment he was so deep in the ass of his superiors, I could smell, what they had for breakfast. Duty calls! That's where I meet the Noids right there. Make sure you go straight. The 306 cartridges you have. I do not want to have lead poisoning, Before it's all over here. Too small for a humanoid. Who you are? - Shit! Kix! - Who? Why is this man threatening my husband with a gun? - Do not allow... - Shut her up. -Get down, you Nazi bitch. -No no! Cookie, Cookie, Cookie! No no no no! Cookie! Do not! Do not! Please do not leave me! It's a bad plan anyway. The best strategy is, to destroy the enemy from within. He must defeat himself. Do not be an enemy, Bishop! The personification of the devil is a symbol of all evil. In the form of humanoids. That's you, black blood! Let me go, black blood! I'm going to kill them all! Just wait, I'll kill you! Keep your breath and keep the peace with God. Shit! What do the Noids know about God? You are raised as rats in the laboratory. Is the color of our blood so different? Are not we all children of God? God did not create you. -We did. You are an abomination without a soul. - I am sorry! I can not hear you! Does your heart hurt? Let me have a look. The old warriors believed, that the heart was sacred. That if a hunter tasted his flesh, I could look at the spiritual world. But I do not see any spiritual world. Maybe she was the only one, who had no soul. Food for the creatures of God. You disappoint me, Bishop. I expected much more from Mara's husband. You are more trash than the man. Barbarous and cruel. A daughter. Our daughter, Mara. Come on, Bishop. Follow me. How can you leave us alone ? ! Are you my daughter? My name is Aluxia. I have been waiting for you. - I'm dead? - Do you feel dead? Not quite. Just tired. You've been dreaming. Yes. And you were there. I do not want to get lost. - Leave it alone, Aluxia. - Ok dad. Why am I still alive? I made a promise to your wife. "You killed her." - Do not. That's what they want to make you believe. Because you did? Why did you take it from me? Mara was my creator. She got me up, knew I was different. She was my mother. You do not have mothers! The quarantine of the Federation did it for the test. So that we begin to show genetic anomalies. Anomalies that the superior command did not like. Like what. - Hair? - Some of us. For others, like me, or more Advanced. We have developed the ability, to reproduce. Your wife kept the secret for a long time. When she threatened, with scattering the secret. The top command entered. They wanted to keep it a secret. At all costs Stop! They have no right... Your investigation is over. Dirty Noid-Bitch! No, you murdered her! I saw it with my own eyes! I did not kill her! I tried to save her. She died in my arms. She begged me to take the baby, but it was very late. Liar! I understand, why do not you believe me. It's hard to accept, that your world is breaking. When you are in it, pick up the pieces. But maybe... You believe her. Come Aluxia, let's play somewhere else. Bishop, I'm sorry, my love. I wanted to tell you. I feared for your life. I knew the truth too late. I was wrong. We were all wrong. We have created them, but we do not control it. We are not their gods. Your destiny is yours. Like us, they can love... They can create offspring. They have souls, who long for freedom. The humanoids must release them. Remember when we said, that we were going to this place? Yes. Across the country, up here. Can you remember, what's the name of this place? -Selegna Sol. "All right, Selegna Sol. We can leave this cave cold. The Selegna Sol. There it is wonderfully hot. - Are you waiting for it? - Yeah. I also. Why did you come back? And you risked all this? I was once a slave. I dreamed of it, like a free man walking on ice. No matter how many men tried to pull that dream out of my mind. I hid it deep in my heart. And now as a free man I walk on the ice. I found myself chained to this beautiful flower. And she deserved more, like my simple dream. This is not a place where the soul of a child can flourish. Your wife spoke of a magnificent place in the west. Where the ice must melt. And the seasons have agreed for decades. It is a myth. Anyone who has gone to look for him never came back. Would you have returned from this place if you had discovered something beautiful? Only a small flower changes the course of humanity And the opinions of a man. Your wife promised to show me the way to this place. The next day she was dead. The promise of Selegna Sol died with her Do not. She hid the coordinates deep into my DNA. Somehow, my intuition pushed me to find out. Selegna Sol. It's a pretty long night, on the other side of the world It will be the journey of life. Trajan will send the Spartans to hunt you down. Not if he thinks I'm dead. This is one of the original prototypes of the Ash-300 series. Killed during the rebellion. On my own, I have added DNA synthesis through epigenetic reprogramming. Embryonic stem cells once paired with their DNA became identical to mine. You made a barbecue clone of yourself. - I'm going to travel with you, to deliver the body. - Do not. You are a free man. - But promise me one thing. - Tell me. Aluxia must do this for Selegna Sol. Fact! Now it's just you and me, Mara. Just you and me. Alone on the ice. You were right about them. You were always right. It's a murder. It always was. And I owe this crime. I give up I give up everything. Even that cascade of memory, which I chose to drown. Mara! This final act... This delivery. I renounce everything, that I have hoped to be Commander Bishop. It's good to see him alive. Trajan! Mission "Winter Dream" Accomplished Ash's body is in the sack. - Send an extraction team. "Well done, Spartan. You will be a hero in the world! I'm not interested. Did you find out, where do the other bastards hide? Oh, come on, Bishop! We know they are breeding like rabbits for decades. Why do you put your hologram and find it yourself, Trajan? Come on Bishop, if you do not want to cooperate we can always extract your information from your neuro-implant. If required. Is that what you told my wife? Before he murdered her? It was never personal, Bishop! But humanoid reproduction is a capital offense. The scientific ambition of your wife was the death sentence. This is why the human race takes precedence for its petty grievances. I've died 1,000 times to catch you, Trajan. And I will die a thousand times more, to see your head on a stake! I trained you well, Bushio... too well! I guess you're already dead. That would have saved me a lot of trouble. That would have cleared this difficult situation. Sorry to disappoint you, General. Check the body. He is our man, General. Ash-393 is dead, Mr. Excellent. The Federation has become a little more secure. Give us the coordinates of the humanoid settlement! Or get ready for a lobotomy! I do not think so, Trajan. Let's see if your implants survive a grenade explosion. Come now, Commander you have known, how this will end. Like his wife! You have to choose a page. With those ice cream? There are better machines! Without us, they have no future. They were built for and by us! They are not our children, they are slaves. Our survival depends on extermination! Open your eyes, Bishop! We are surrounded by ice, this planet is dead! There are not enough resources to pick them up these days. Would you choose those of your own kind? If this is what we will become then yes! I choose them. Your new rank is JMATR! FUCK MORE THAN ALL RECOGNITION! After your Spartan body. Alpha, Mike, Foxtrot! Also know as... Goodbye, motherfuckers. Kill him! What the...? Something is wrong with the weapons Malfunction! Malfunction of the weapon, sir! Welcome to the area of death, idiots! Come on! Kill these weak heads! What happens to you? Come on! This is not over yet! You come to my death list! I will hunt you personally! This is a high treason to the Federation! Go to hell! That gave me luck. It was almost a palette, until I met my new friends. It's good to see you alive, brother. Who put us in charge of the world? How did our lie become our truth? Nobody cares to remember. The cold heart of nature now forms honest men on the ice. And under the area of death, life comes. After 300 years of slavery, The humanoids are walking towards their freedom. We did it, Mara! Thank you my love. I'll see you upstairs. In a world invaded by cowards. The only thing left for a man is to fight. Fight, until hell freezes. Then fight them on the ice. Translation and synchronization: BetoMty *** Let's say that in a year, Episode 5 you'll die. You're going to die in a year... You'd only have a year left, is there something you'd like to do or see? A year is too long. Let's do just 3 months left. Okay then. Let's say you only have 3 months left. I'll live recklessly, and take care of people who backstabbed me. I'll kill the bastards I don't like. This is not the goal of this documentary. Through this bucket list, we want you to see that life is precious and beautiful-- - I'll hook up with girls at the club... - Excuse me.. And I'll have one night stands everyday. Stop, stop, stop. We'll stop here! Don't stop and let me continue. Do you think this broadcast is a joke, Sin Joon Young? It's not. I'm being honest here. What wouldn't I be able to do if I were to die soon? What about drugs? Will you drink and drive, gamble, use public restrooms? Do you want to date me, PD No Eul? Let's say I'll die in three months. For only three months. Really deeply. Only... 3 months. Really passionately, with all of my strength. Well, since it was just a test... Those jokes don't really matter. I'm not joking though. I said I wasn't joking. - Jin Young... - Do you not want to, PD? - Jin Young... - Do you not want to, PD? What do you mean? I'm so thankful! Top star Sin Joon Young is proposing that we date. If I said I didn't like it, I would be crazy! PD No! When do we start? Today? Can we make it official? I don't mind it. Ah! Can I say on SNS that I'm dating Sin Joon Young? Welcome. Noona, what's with the both of you? I don't know, I think she caused a problem again. She's been like this for thirty minutes. Do you think you'll die like that? Did you cause another problem? I'll get fired from Sin Joon Young's documentary. Huh? I think I'll get fired from Sin Joon Young's documentary. Why? I took what Sin Joon Young meant to be a variety show as a documentary. I mean, I took what Sin Joon Young meant to be a documentary as a variety show. No, no. I took what Sin Joon Young meant to be a documentary as a documentary. - What are you saying? - I think she went crazy. I'm not crazy! Why are you always only like that towards me, Unni? Since you look down on me like that, everyone else in the world doesn't take me seriously and looks down on me. You can't even make a sound to Sin Joon Young, You don't say anything about him being crazy, but how come you only call me psycho? Am I that easy? This little... Hey! Was I unable to say anything to Sin Joon Young? The real question is, why are you being like that to me? Am I that easy to you? Then... I think I've really gone crazy. It's good that things turned out this way. Don't do celebrity documentaries. Just do what you like, investigative programs. I'll find a job for you. You're unemployed too. Who's looking for whose job? I'm going to get a job too! If you get a job, should I sign myself up to you too? I don't want to see this and that. What? You wouldn't starve me and Jik at least. Ahjussi, can't you hire me as you wife? What did you just say? Starting tomorrow instead of plate-of-water unni, another PD would come and film. When you threw the ad-lib today, asking her to date you? Everyone knows that you did that to chase her away. Our chairman is so furious, saying, 'The goby is jumping and the squid is jumping too! What kind of PD is she? ' He said we can't trust our Sin Joon Young to a psycho PD like that. I gave them the notice. Are you fully satisfied with this now, Joon Young? And so in that situation what would plate-of-water unni say? 'Hey you, cockroach of a guy! Are you in your right mind or not! ' While saying that did she have to just accept it then? If so, a mere PD would approach a star that would probably be a bigger mess. Think about it. People from the production crew are really harsh too. Even if she is a temporary worker, it shouldn't be like, "We're about to take a chance to have you fired." Look at just what they are doing! How come those people are so cruel? No matter how weak or fragile, you can't just treat a person recklessly. I will be talking until here. I'm sorry for blabbering. Call the director. If it's not PD No Eul, I won't shoot a cut be it a documentary or what. If they don't want the representative actor of the agency then they should put back PD No Eul to her usual place. Ahjussi, eat one. Okay, I'll stop. Proposal cancelled. You should just tell me that you don't want me to be your wife. Why are you drinking strong soju when you can't even handle alcohol well. Hey... 'it's not like that No Eul.' 'Why would I reject such a lovely like No Eul? ' 'I just like it so much that I don't know what to do right now.' You're not saying those. You still won't say it. I don't really like it as well! ♬ Just one last night here ♬ ♬ Remembering what we gave up ♬ ♬ This golden love ♬ ♬ Oh, we were destined ♬ He won't even come after me. He is not that great at all. Why is he stubborn? Ah, this is so embarrassing! Rejected from my job, and rejected from my proposal, nothing went well. That's because I am the third party! ♬ Oh, we were destined ♬ ♬ Oh, underdone ♬ That girl, Eul, doesn't know her place. How could she linger around you? Noona, from your perspective, I think I'm better than Eul. Of course! Even though you're still unemployed, you can't give yourself to Eul. Eul is in a lot of debt and doesn't even have a great personality. She only mooches off of you. So that's why I'm telling you this. Oppa, there is a woman I know who cooks well, has enough money, and doesn't fall too far behind in terms of looks. I... am not good enough, Noona. Because I am not good enough, I cannot accept Eul. Ah, Eul left her cellphone. So clumsy... That oppa is not normal either. Eul! No Eul! What is this? Yes. This is No Eul's phone. Hello? Why are you picking up No Eul's phone? We were together, and Eul left her phone behind. - Who is the person picking up the phone? - What about you? Who are you? - I asked first. - When you ask for someone else's identity, I believe you should reveal your identity first. Can you not read Korean? My name probably appeared on the phone. It only said 'dog' and 'bird' (wordplay for son of a b*itch). 'Dog' and 'bird'? Son of a b*tch? Anyways, Eul cannot take the call right now, so call later. If the person calling right now happens to be Sin Joon Young, I don't think there will be a need for you to call back. - Not too long ago, she got fired from your documentary project. - Who are you? Who are you to tell me what to do? Ah - Haha... Do you happen to be her husband? Oh! My phone. Are you Eul's husband? Hello? Why aren't you replying? Are you Eul's husband? Why are you picking up my calls? Hello? Hello? HEY CRAZY BASTARD! DO YOU WANT TO DIE? ! Husband Am i your husband? Yes. Whenever I get in a fight with someone, you always take their ('nam') side('pyun). So that's why you're not my('nae') side, but others side ('nampyun' - same word as husband). I'll be going now. Eul. You're going to meet a good person. Someone who sincerely cares for you, and loves you. You are definitely going to meet someone who will make you happy. Wow, seriously ahjussi. I really did not see you like that. You're seriously mean. If you're going to reject me, just coldly reject me instead of pretending to be nice. - No Eul... - From this moment on I'm not going to see you any longer, Ahjussi. Don't contact me again. But why did this kid call? If he was a typical freak, I could at least make a guess. You psycho, why did you even call? You're asking to be cursed at. If I answer your calls in the future and meet you again, I'm not No Eul, but Dog Eul. I apologize for not being able to promptly pick up the phone. Regarding my not knowing my place and making an offensive joke, I am deeply, deep in my bones, reflecting and regretting it. With your generous heart, please speak well of me to the chairman, and give me another chance... Never mind, I'm not sending it. Do you think I can't make a living without you? I will definitely get paid a double salary, and a permanent position with the 4 kinds of insurance and more! That Sin Joon Young... Why are you so surprised? Are you seeing a dog-bird for the first time? How'd you find me here? I asked the production crew and they told me. Why are they giving people's personal information out like that? What is your husband doing while you mooch off of Na Ri? -You see, the thing is... -You're saying you married in that time? Do you have kids too? Is your husband unemployed? Did he mess up while doing business and ask you to bring home money? What crazy person do you think would marry a beggar like me? If it were, would you do that? I don't have a husband and most definitely do not have kids. I don't have a house, money, or pride, so I'm living with my friend Na Ri. So what? Because of a certain psycho, I got fired from my job, and I will continue to not have money, a house, or a husband. Is it entertaining? Is it funny? Why do I even bother saying these kinds of things to you? Crazy wench... -SKYYoonproductionPD. -Hello? -It's me, Yoon PD. I think you will have to continue working on Sin Joon Young's documentary. I thought you were switching me out for a different PD. Sin Joon Young said that he would not film a single scene if you weren't the PD. He said to cut back on all of the staff except for the production crew. I think you'll have to come to the company to discuss it. You can come now, right? Hello? No PD! No PD, are you listening? Hello? Ah, I'm telling you, it's urgent! ♬ Hey boy! ♬ ♬ Show me your love ♬ ♬ You and I ♬ ♬ Good morning. Hi. Good morning. My day, like your smile, is brighter ♬ ♬ Everything became different after I met you. Like the rainy season in my daily life, you have become the rainbow. ♬ ♬ You, who shorten your foot step, are good. You, who shorten the street between us, are good. ♬ ♬ You and I resemble each other in a lot of ways. Crystal clear laughter and even the smile. Everything. All. ♬ ♬ You and I are starting. ♬ ♬ It's not enough time for me to love. Do it a little faster. ♬ ♬ Because you look so much like... ♬ ♬ It's hard. It's harder. It's hard. ♬ ♬ It's not easy. ♬ ♬ Love u love u love u♬ ♬ Love u love u love u♬ What is this? Noona's has work now so I won't be able to take care of you as often. So eat a lot. Your sister wasn't even able to sleep last night because she was preparing all this. So eat up and go to school already. I'm so sad. What's with you face. Your friends don't give you food at their house? Noona. Ah for real. If your that worried why don't you follow him with a bowl. Should I really? Should I just quit everything and follow you around? Yeah. Quit everything and even follow me to school. Let's go to school. Jik. Noona wants to follow you around... You know that Sin Joon Young's fans isn't a joke. Hm? Among the fans from singer celebrities, Sin Joon Young's fans are the most extreme ones. There are even psychos. They're looking into you right now. If something happens then... This is Oh Jik's phone right? Youtoldme you'dgivememoreinformationaboutPD NoEul butyoudidn'tcontactmeback. You're not answering my calls either. If by any chance everything is a big lie, you will die for sure! She said she's the president of Sin Joon Young's fan club. { Sin Joon Young } Not that, not that. Doyourememberthatmyfatherwasanextremelyfamousprosecutor ? Byanychance,ifyoueverhaveanypersonal interest inme... Whatareyougoingtodo if Itell youaboutPD NoEul 's personal information? Doyourparentsknowthat youaredoingthiswithyour life ? Heol! Waah! She must be really mad. What are you doing? Noona! Does she have nothing to do after eating? Give me your cellphone. No Jik. TheWorstof theWorst It's her, right? Give me the phone now. No Jik! Thepersonyouare tryingtocall- What's wrong? I told you to give me that girl's number. No matter how you look at it, she's messing with a student. Is Sin Joon Young that great? Yeah he is. This girl isn't that weird either. She's normal but Joon Young is so awesome that he's even able to change her. I'm not saying that right now. Don't fall for Joon Young. -What? -If your always around him filling the documentary then you'll definitely fall for him. This rascal... You dont know Jin Joon. Joon Young is know a person in a different world now. Joon Young's saying something without thought. Don't be mistaken and don't get any useless hope. You'll get hurt. Did you eat something wrong this morning? That's right. Those ribs must have tasted weird, right? So that's why I told you to stay away from them and not to eat them, you punk! Noona, I hope you and Hyung will have nice courtship. Even if he doesn't have anything he's a really good person and you fit with him. That's the way that you'll be happy. Then this is the end of my nagging. No Euly! Film the documentary well. I call even that thing my brother. But the Hyung Ahjussi already dumped me. You punk, don't even know anything.♬ To be honest, even today I'm thinking of you again I pull out my stash of memories ♬ ♬ I pull out my stash of memories and just stare at them. ♬ ♬ It's the first thing I do. ♬ Ifyougetajob, shouldIsign myself uptoyoutoo? Idon'twanttoseethisandthat. What? - Youwouldn'tstarvemeandJikatleast . Can'tyouhiremeasyourwife? ♬ Ring My Bell ♬ Am I your husband? Ah. Yes. WheneverI getin afightwith someone,youalways taketheirside. You never take my side so that's why you're my husband. - Cops are coming. You want to yell at me some more, or should we both get out of here? Neither. Hey, Mick. Oh, it... it's me. It's Ray. I-I thought we should talk. Drive. Well you didn't waste any time getting back to your old habits. I like stealing stuff. It makes me feel good. Did you ever think that maybe you weren't meant to do this anymore? What do you want, haircut? To apologize, sort of. For Snart. I was the one who was supposed to die, - and I can't help feeling that... - It wasn't your fault. It was his. Son of a bitch never did anything without a plan. Maybe you're right. Maybe he wanted this. What are you doing with your hand? Maybe he wanted us to, you know, be partners. Think I'm going to be sick. I think Snart knew. He knew that I'd keep an eye out for you, and you'd keep an eye out for me. While doing what? What we haven't finished doing. What was H.G. Wells' childhood nickname? - Bertie. - Incredible. You've gotten every answer correct tonight. Since when did you become such a history buff? I guess I developed a passion for it recently. During your sabbatical? You hardly ever talk about it. Martin? I know, I'm sorry. My sabbatical was, um... I left some very important work unfinished. Ship's not going to be here, Gray. We saw it take off, remember? Yes, and in doing so, it would have left... Quantum signature. That's what I've been trying to tell Mick. - Radio beacon. - Quantum entangler. Boring. When do we get in contact with Hunter? Ms. Lance, are you all right? How do we get the Waverider back here? - Hi, Daddy, we miss you. - And love you. - And love you. - Captain, I'm sorry to interrupt. Tell me you've located Savage. No, but we have received a transmission from 2016 Star City. I don't understand. This should have worked. Did you account for subspace interference? It's the first thing I thought of. Did you adjust for temporal polarity? Oh, Raymond, you insult me. Can you reach the Waverider or not? We're working on it. Actually, guys, I think it just worked. I thought I made my intentions perfectly clear. And we wish to be equally clear about ours. - Do you mind? - Just checking to see if you're real this time. You're not ditching us again. When the mission's over, then we can all go - our separate ways. - And this mission is not over. Yeah, just curious how much headway you've had tracking Savage without all of us. None. But neither have I got myself into bar fights in 1975 and the Old West, put dwarf star technology into the hands of terrorists, or got myself turned into a scary bird monster. We get your point. Now get ours. That ship's not taking off without us. You got that? - Halt! - Oh, please don't shoot! - Don't shoot. - What the hell are you doing - out here, lady? - I was being held captive. By Nazis? No, worse. - Your helmet. - What about it? I've seen it before. Paper, do you have paper? Something to write with. Lady, I think you're in shock. Please! Yeah. So if it wasn't Nazis, who were you running from? I need your helmet. Now! I'm sorry, my love, but this game is not over yet. Despite my wishes to pursue Savage alone, it seems that you're all intent on seeing this thing through till the bitter... Oh! Speaking of bitter. You knew. You dropped us off five months later - because you knew. - Knew what? You knew that Laurel was going to die, and now you're going to take me back, and I'm going to save my sister. - I'm afraid that that... - You should be afraid. I can't allow you... I don't care about the timeline. You're taking me back now. Look, Sara, I'm sure there's a valid reason why Rip didn't... Stay out of this! What the hell, Rip? Mr. Rory, take Ms. Lance to sleep it off. Not to dismiss what just happened, but we do have to find Savage, assuming that Kendra and Carter are still on his timeship. - He could... - Be anywhere in time and space. Oh, well that narrows it down a lot. Sorry. Was this always over here? No, it lives over... - Did you put it there? - Nah, man. - Did you? - Dude, it's just a helmet. - Chronometric repositioning. - What? Temporal changes can, on occasion, reverberate through the timeline, physically moving an object from one place to another. - Gideon? - Yes, Captain. Plot a course for Saint-Lô, France, 1944. Why then? Because that's where Kendra is. How is that possible? She sent us a message through time. Go ahead, say it. Astonishing. Oh. I brought you some company. Oh, he might be a little disoriented, after the way he came out of stasis. - I know you. - Oh, you remember her? Well, his mind isn't fully gone. Hey! Stay away from him! I'm going to kill you. You've had 4,000 years to do so, with no success. What are you doing? Your blood is the key to unlocking the Thanagarian technology. - Thanagarian? - The alien species which gave the three of us our powers. They sent three meteorites containing technology beyond human understanding. When they are activated by your blood, I will be able to erase time itself, and travel us back to 1700 B.C. - No. No! - I will begin my immortal life anew, only this time I won't be content to whisper in the ears of powerful men. This time I will be the one with the power. I will be a god. Please try very hard not to kill me. Rip. Please take me back. I need your help. I need to save my sister. And you know that I would do this for you, Sara, but I just can't. I've not asked you for anything. And you of all people should understand. You have tried everything. We... we have tried everything - to save your family. - And I would not wish the pain of that failure upon anyone. I would rather live with that pain than this. And that's just the thing, Sara. Look, if you were able to try to save Laurel, then you wouldn't be alive at all. Then fine. I don't care. When we left, when I recruited you, we... we... we altered the timeline. Now had it remained the same, then Damien Darhk would have... He would have killed not only you and... and your sister, but your father as well. But, Rip, if... if we go back, and we take the team... The outcome would be exactly the same. You don't know that. - I'm afraid that I do. - No. I... There's got to be a way. Rip, I have to be able to do something. I'm so sorry. Look, I can't. Can't do this without my sister. - I can't. - Yes, you can. You are one of the strongest people I have ever met, Sara. Laurel... Laurel may be beyond your saving, but Kendra and Carter, they might not be. Captain, we are prepared to make the time jump to 1944. We're on our way, Gideon. We've arrived in Saint-Lô. No sign of Kendra yet, but I have located Vandal Savage, and he does not seem to be alone. _ _ _ _ _ Aah! Get them! Aah! Keep Savage and our Nazi friends occupied. Gideon has detected a temporal signature consistent with a timeship. If Kendra and Carter are alive, that is where they're going to be. Yeah, I see it. - Jax. - You miss me? Is he still nuts? No, he's okay. Take this to the ship. What the hell was that? You transmuted the molecular properties of the rifle. What does that even mean? Okay, let's get out of here. Kendra's down. Rip, we're kind of outnumbered here. Fall back. Staying here to fight Nazis is exacerbating the damage that we have already done to the timeline. - But Kendra... - Is alive, thankfully, and we will rescue her in due course. I hope. - So this is a spaceship? - It's a timeship, but yes, it does also travel through space. You... you've seen it before, Mr. Hall. That used to be my name. Carter Hall. There really is rather a lot to fill you in on, and we really do not have the time. - What about... - Kendra, yes, we need your assistance in locating her and Savage. Perhaps we can start with what Savage was doing in 1944. He said something about, um... Thanagarian technology. - Thanagarian... - The Thanagarians were race of extraterrestrials. He also said that this technology was actually three meteors. Captain, I have surveillance footage which might be relevant. Thank you, Gideon. I've seen that rock before. Savage had one of those in 1958. He took our blood. He said he would use it in a ritual to erase time, take the blood back to 1700 B.C. - What are you doing? - Come on, man. We got to try it again. That thing that we did in World War II. - It's called transmutation. - Yeah. It's a similar process by which our uniform materializes when we merge, but at the moment, we need to focus on figuring out what Savage is planning. Come on, just the once. Is that Raymond and Kendra's lucky vase? I don't know, I just found this junk lying around. Oh, come on. Don't you think that turning something into something else might come in handy? All right, one time only. Okay, just the once. All right. You need to focus, Jefferson. Why do you always say it like I'm not focusing? Just do what you did before. Ah, before we had a Nazi trying to kill us. This is just a vase. Come on. I never thought I'd utter these words, but I think we need a Nazi. - Not funny. - Look, the reason I keep telling you to focus is because transmutation is a literal function of mind over matter. Dude, this sucks. Why do I always got to - be in the driver's seat? - Oh, don't despair, Jefferson. This is only our second attempt at transmutation, and, you know, they always say, "The third time's a charm." What? Third time. Three rituals. I-I think I know what Savage is planning to do. I figured out how Savage plans to erase time. I believe he intends to detonate each of these meteors in a different time period. How can you destroy the world three times in three different times? You can't, it would create a temporal paradox. Which would result in a timequake that would return the Earth to the point of the first chronothermic reaction, - Ancient Egypt. - Okay, it's official. This is the craziest bad guy plan in the history of bad guy plans. I don't think that sanity is a yardstick by which Vandal Savage can be measured. Okay, so which time periods are we talking here? You said Savage was in possession of one of these meteorites in 1958. That was a year of a rare alignment, with the Earth and Thanagar. Evidently he got hold of a second meteorite in 1944. Which would be useless to him in a year where Earth and Thanagar weren't in alignment. Now, if my math is correct, and trust me, it is, the next two years that Earth and Thanagar are in sync are 1975 and 2021. But Savage still has to do this in three different time periods. That's the beauty of immortality, Jefferson: he can. He can literally be in three places at once. - Can't be. - Can. Thanks to time travel, and it's because of time travel that I know you're here. You're out here tonight, because you have felt an immanent presence of... something. - A... a meteorite? - And I'm going to give you a use for it which will give us the power to rewrite destiny itself. Change the course of the entire world. So if Savage plans on blowing up the world three times, - how do we stop him? - We don't. - We kill him. - How? We've always known that only you or Kendra could kill Savage using items exposed, as you were, to the meteor's radiation. Now, the radiation works both ways. It gave Savage his immortality, but... It also makes him vulnerable. And Savage is about to unleash the radiation from three meteorites in three different time periods. - Triple the exposure. - Yes. Which should be sufficient to render Savage mortal. And then all we got to do is kill Savage three times. Indeed. Gideon can navigate the Waverider, and we can split into teams of two. One in 1958, one in 1975, and one in 2021. Open it. Did you know that this is one of the original meteorites which fell upon the Middle Kingdom? Drawn from the ground after a millennia, straight into Nazi hands. The object that has bound the two of us together for 4,000 years has the power to take us back to where it all began. But this time, I will be the pharaoh, - and you... - Will hate you, like I've always hated you. Patience, Mr. Hall. All our teams need to act simultaneously. I think that's a comet or something. It's a meteorite, in point of fact. I was drawn to it as well. - When can I kill him? - We have to wait - for the meteor to go critical. - When's that? When he starts the ritual in all three time periods. Um, we got a nuclear bomb, here. Professor, Jax, we need you. Oh, man, I forgot how much of a badass I was. Look. What do you mean you don't have the money? I was going to sell a nuclear warhead and pay you out of the profit. - Things changed. - You expect me to just hand the meteor over for free? No, I expected to take it from you by force. Ah. Well... I think that's our cue. Really? These guys again? Now. Keep them occupied. You ready to show these fools what's really good? You have no idea. Glad we're past the point of worrying about the timeline. Carter! Aah! Ah. Oh, you're too late. Time Master's never late. Rip! Aah! You can't kill me. I'm immortal. Guess you haven't heard the news. Good-bye, my love. Aah! Aah! Oh! ♪♪♪ "Legends of Tomorrow 1x16" ♪♪♪ ♪♪" Legendary"♪ ♪ ♪" OriginalAirDateonMay19,2016"♪ Z Z! @ ~ Z Z! @ ~ Z Z! @ ~ Ah, you can feel it, can't you? Things are different this time. - You're mortal. - But yet, my death does not save the lives of your family. I may die, but you'll live knowing that you failed to save the lives of... Aah! Never speak their names again. Do something, RoboCop. I'm on it. Got a little trick I've been working on. Ooh. It's up to you now, Jefferson. Gray, listen. If we're going to do this, we got to do it together. It's going to take the two of us, all right? - You're right. - Okay. Come on, Gray! Oh, man. You got my boots wet. Jefferson, you did it! We did it, man. Gideon, take us back to Rip. Damn it! I wanted to be the one to kill him. Again, I mean. Um... I don't think our problems are over yet. I'm on it. On what? It's not working. The radiation buildup is too progressive. I got this. I don't understand. I must be all out of power. What happens if only one of these goes off? Uh... time will remain intact. The world? Not so much. Okay, guys, let's fly this thing out of here. To where? We would never get it far enough away. Maybe the Waverider can. Rip, we need... Rip? Rip! What are you doing? I'm flying the Waverider into the sun, - with the meteor on board. - And you on it. I guess this is good-bye. It's been a pleasure, Captain. Likewise, Dr. Palmer. But you brought us all into this, man. Which is why I'm doing this alone, Mr. Jackson. I'll have no one else die for my choices. This isn't going to bring Snart back. I don't want to lose another friend. I appreciate that, Mr. Rory. I must say, it's been an honor to serve as your cap... Rip. Daddy? Miranda. I... Where... I'm still here, Captain. I know you are, Gideon. May I share something with you? I'm not ready to die. Me neither. Which reminds me... Is our solar ray still functional? In fact, it's operating at an efficiency rate of 12,000%. Transfer all available power to the time drive. Get ready to eject the meteor, and pray that we have enough power for one last jump. What happens if only one of these goes off? Our time will remain intact. The world, not so much. Okay, guys, let's fly this thing out of here. To where? We'd never get it - far enough away. - Maybe the Waverider can. Rip, we need... where's Rip? And the meteorite? Will somebody please tell me what just happened? Rip? Sorry if I gave you all a fright. What happened to the meteor? Uh, I flew it into the heart of the sun. Well, I angled the ship to eject the meteorite before impact, and then, uh... time jumped away. - You could have been killed. - Should have been. You're a moron. Now, who fancies a return trip to 2016? - I can't believe it's over. - Well, for some of you, yes. My journey, it seems, is only just beginning. How does that work? Savage is three times dead. The Time Masters are no longer of growing concern, due to our destruction of the Oculus. Someone needs to be responsible for protecting the timeline. Who better than a former Time Master? And any of you who'd like to join me. I should stay and help you with Darhk. And get justice for Laurel. That's happening, honey, with or with out you. I promise. Uh, listen, I-I can't pretend to understand this time travel thing, but it sounds important. So is family. I wasn't going to go the first time. Then Laurel convinced me. And now I'm going to do this for her. Well, she'd be proud of you. How do you know? 'Cause I am. What German lone word literally means - "the desire to hike"? - Wanderlust. A word which could also be used to describe that look in your eye. - What look in my eye? - Martin, we've been married for 28 years, and you're still a lousy liar. Now about this new sabbatical. I decided to decline the invitation. But... I think you should. I-I think... I think it's important... Clarissa, I'm not leaving you. That's final. - Hey, Gray. - What are you... I'm so glad that you could make it, Jax. What are you up to? Well, we had a nice, long talk - this afternoon, didn't we? - Yeah. Oh, my God, this is an intervention! Yeah, you could kind of call it that. Listen, Gray, you're meant for more than sitting around answering trivia questions about history. Me, you, Firestorm. We're made for changing history. - This is my life. - And your life will be waiting for you when you get back. You really want me to do this? I could never forgive myself if I kept you from it, my husband the superhero. Why are you looking at me like that? Wasn't sure you'd make it. You left me a message, I came. What of it? I just wanted to talk. You and I, we've done a lot of thieving, a lot of cool stuff, a lot of fun. Anyway, I, uh... I just wanted to make sure I said something important that wasn't left unsaid. Mick, I don't do touchy-feely. If you got something to say, say it. This wasn't a good idea. You're the best guy I ever knew. You may not think you're a hero, but you're a hero to me. You got that? Yeah, I got it. See you around. You okay? Fine. - So did you tell him? - That he killed himself to save our destinies? If it's any consolation, I can always bring you back to this particular time and place. I'm fine. Just let it be. A full compliment. To be honest, I had my doubts that all of you would be willing to throw in with me for a second go. - Well, actually... - We're not coming with you. With Savage gone, we want to start fresh, see what happens. I give it three months, tops. Look, I just... I want to say thank you. To all of you. - Ray, I... - No. This is... it's meant to be. I wish both of you nothing but the best. Be safe. See you guys around. Every time they do that, I get hungry for chicken. So, shall we? - Is that... - The Waverider. Another Waverider? Whatever it is, it's not slowing down. Get down! What the hell's going on? To be honest, Mr. Jackson, I have absolutely no idea. Is this 2016? Is this May, 2016? Yeah. You're exactly where you said you'd be. Do not get on that ship. If you do, you're all dead. Says who? Says you, Mr. Rory. You sent me. I'm sorry. Who exactly are you? My name is Rex Tyler. I'm a member of the Justice Society of America. You were huckin' the ball around with your pals the other day... Say, uh... What's the deal with your sweetie there, Squirrely Dan? Well, I took her out last night. - Where to? - Outs to the chip truck. - Fries and gravy? - I had mine with gravy. She had hers with salts and malts vinegar. Do you know that salt and malt vinegar's a non-traditional way to dress your French fries in the United States? What the fuck is wrong with them? Like malt vinegar is not a staple condiment on tabletops in restaurants in the United States. Fuck, figure it out. That's what I say. I say, figure it out. Got no vinegars on the tables, no Krafts peanut butters. - WAYNE: Figure it out. - DARYL: Fuckin' figure it out. Better not forget those fuckin' all-dressed chips. No ketchup chips neither. WAYNE: Figure it out. Somebody really ought to write a letter. They do got six different types of Cap'n Crunch, though. How do you know that? Saw a comedian talks about it on the Juste Pour Rires. Can't remember his name, though. Good guy, though? A little long-winded for my taste. But, yeah, a pretty good guy. Well, glad to hear he's a good guy at least. They have running water down there? Anyhoo, the evening went so well that, uh, we got up to a little bits of a foolin' around. Did you French her? WAYNE: Kind of out of line there, Dary. - Did you go up her shirt? - Now you're really out of line, Dary. We did French, that much I will reveal. Well, you already revealed that much, might as well just tell us if you went up her shirt. It's impolite to kiss and tell, Dary. I don't like to kiss and tell, but... The Frenchin's tooks a hard left turn, from which I have yets to recover. Do you wanna know what? I'm not asking you to kiss and tell, 'cause that's impolite. But... I'm kind of curious. Yeah, Dan, kiss and tell. I'm sure you boys have had a couple of curve balls thrown your way betwixt the sheets. Well, not to be impolite, but, you know, sometimes a gal will be kissin' around on, like, the area near your genitals, but not quite on your genitals. Makes me ticklish and insecure. You know, not to be impolite, but sometimes a gal will do some kissin' on the ears, which makes me uncomfortable, because even though I clean my ears, sometimes a tater will just roll out of there unexpected. (CHUCKLES) I kind of likes both those things. Yeah, it's why you're called "Squirrely Dan." Yeah, reason fuckin' five million. Well, nots to be impolite, but... This gal suggested that maybe I should have some attentions paid to my butts hole. That ever... Ever happen to you guys? Did you ever have a gal suggest that you need some attentions paid to your butts holes? I'll take that as a hard no, I guess? She put a couple of fingers up there and... It turns out you got a... An erogenous zone up there. Found... Found the hot button and... Gaves it a tickle and, uh... Yeah. Feels, uh... It feels pretty good, you guys, okay? - Pop fly. - I really liked it. It felt... Felt very natural. Nice. That's how you get the body in front of it. - Get the body in front of it. - They call it "milking the prostate." Well, it's impolite to kiss and tell. (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) Subtitle by peritta - Where's Stewart been, Katy? - He's not talking to me. - Why? - I don't know. Here are your birthday pancakes, big brother. Don't fuck with tradition. - Thank you. - You're welcome. BOTH: Happy birthday, Wayne. Jinx. You owe me a Coke. Well, see now, that you can get in the States. What you can't get, though, is Crush Cream Soda. - BOTH: We got you a present, Wayne. - Two Cokes. We don't make a thing of birthdays in this family. Can we skip my super-soft birthday party then this year? Hard no! It's not a birthday thing, it's an efficiency thing. Uh, if you can be one thing, you should be efficient. We got you an appointment with a matchmaker. Get the... Take a... Well, start walkin'. Well, you won't do online dating. There's no more MoDeans, so you can't meet girls there. You're handcuffed, cowboy. - Figure it out. - Yeah, figures it out. Don't you tell me to figure it out. Yous are the ones should figure it out. All you have to do is sit down with a matchmaker, answer a few questions, and then she sets you up on three dates with girls that she thinks you'll jive with. Has anyone heard from Jivin' Pete lately? Oh, yeah, yeah. No, Jivin' Pete's one nut got all swole up... I don't give a shit about Jivin' Pete's one nut. No, no, this is a story about Jivin' Pete's other nut. Yeah, Jivin' Pete's had himself a botched vasectomy a little while back, so now his one nut's there all swole up bigger than the first nut that was all swole up. If you can believes that nonsense. Was Jivin' showin' it to people again? Oh, he's showin' it to people. I seen it. - You seen it, Dary? - Oh, I seen it. - Yeah, I never seen it. - It looks like a rambutan. Which is to say, this hairy fruit. So, not smooth like a persimmon? DAN: No, although it is about the size of a persimmons. Which, of course, is much like a tomatoes. What sort of potent peace pipe was some prick pulling off when he titled tomatoes "fruits"? Well... Now both Jivin' Pete's nuts have a story, which I hope guarantees that I'll never have to listen to another story about Jivin' Pete's nuts. - He's a good guy. - He's a real good guy. - No, he's a great guy. - Wayne. You're looking for love. And you said it yourself, "If you can be one thing, be efficient." Do's it once, do's it rights. Figures it out. Pitter-patter, let's get at 'er, figure it out. You shouldn't gang up on people on their birthdays. We don't make a thing of birthdays in this family. She's comin' this afternoon. Don't be in your barnin' clothes. (SPOON SCRAPING) I fuckin' hate praccy, bro. It's Senior-A whale shit, bro. Why even praccy? Like, I'm just gonna praccy like a donkey. I could donk all day. Just blast clappers at the hash marks at the fuckin' plug tendy of ours. Clappys from the hashys, buddy. Just stepping' into one from the ladies' tees. Just bulldoze that speed bump. Just firing' ringers at his ears. Just firing' warm-up ringers. Just tossing' chest-high sauce at the boys. Just tossing' ankle-high rocket sauce. Just tossing' mad sui's up the middle. Just tossing' mad sui's through the trolley tracks. Just tossing' mad breakout sui's directly into the skates. Just tossing' mad breakout sui's. You know, it might be a fun praccy after all. I could donk all day, boys. (MUTTERING) I don't think I've ever sat on a hay bale before. That's a straw bale, and that's barley. Wonderful. Great. Um... So, a little bit about me. Uh, my service is called "Goldilocks and the Three Dates." Katy... I forgot to tell her not to tell you that. So, I've modeled my business after the charming story that it's inspired by. I send my clients on three dates, and like the beds that Goldilocks laid down in after eating the three bears' porridge, maybe one is "too hard," and maybe one is "too soft." But in the end we hope that maybe one is just right. - Katy... - Get after it. You're losin' him. Okay. Wayne, why don't you just tell me a little bit about yourself. It's impolite to talk about yourself. Keeps his truck clean. Loves his dogs. Enjoys a beer and a smoke. Beer... Beer and smoke. That's... Wow, you know. I get it. Rustic. Trucks, got it. We will make this work. I love it, okay. And then, um, Wayne, can you just tell me a little bit about your past relationship? You shouldn't air your dirty laundry. Five years. Ended a while ago. No baggage. No baggage, love that. No baggage, no babies. Likey. (LAUGHING) This is fun. I'm having a fun time in this place. And, Wayne, can you tell me how much you make in a fiscal year? WAYNE: Katy! It's impolite to talk about your money. He's no slouch. Okay. Touche. Well, I'm about to begin your story. Where maybe one is "too hard." Maybe one is, um... - But in the end... - Yeah, you lost him. He seems... He seems nice. Do you live... Do you live in here? So, what did you think of Goldilocks and the Three Dates there, Wayne? Ready to fall in Goldi-love? Or Goldi-lust? You won't be Goldi-laughin' when I break your Goldi-legs. Dim the Goldi-lights? Nights of your Goldi-life? Use your Goldi-language. Make her Goldi-laugh. Make it Goldi-last. Better Goldi-lay off, before they find your Goldi-limbs in a Goldi-landfill, Goldi-literally. Take her on a Goldi-lunch? Maybe a Goldi-late suppers? - Maybe she's a Goldi-lawyer. - Ooh. You think I'm Goldi-lyin'? Enough Goldi-lip. A Goldi-longshoresman will find your bodies in the Goldi-lake! Gentlemen, a question. A query. - An inquis... - Pitter-patter. Has Katy mentioned anything about me not talking to her? - Can confirm. - Major league. - It's working. - What's working? By not talking to her, she will form the conclusion that I'm upset with her and eventually ask me why. Why you so butt-hurt, Stewart? - Well, she acts like... - Just kidding. I don't give a fuck. DAN: Wait. So, you're upsets with her, and you wanna communicate that by not communicatings? Acutely. You are spare parts, aren't you, bud? Let me know if Katy asks about me. Heads up! Ow! (MUSIC PLAYING) I'm Kim. I'm a psychologist and a feminist. - I'll be paying the bill. - I'm Wayne. Wayne! Glen. How are you now? - Ah, good and you? - Oh, not so bad. Well, I guess the kitten's out of the clutch on this one. I also have to work as a waitress to make ends meet. - WAYNE: Sure you do. - I'm Kim. Are you ever. Look at you. I'm lovin' this. You're like a shark. I'm scared. Like a Julie Moore, or like a Jessie Chastain. - What can I get you to drink? - Uh, we'll need a minute. Uh, please and thank you. Hmm. All right. Well, you'll take care of little Miss Nicki Kidman here till I get back, Mr. McConaughey? - Sure, I will. - All right. He crosses his arms. Are you aware of the psychology behind that? Now, when you say "he," you're talking about me, right? He has wit. Do you know why you cross your arms? Feels like you're talking to two people right now. Crossing your arms, whether it be consciously or subconsciously, is a sign of defense. You're protecting your vital organs. Do you feel threatened by me? Well, I don't, but the other guy might. He is hilarious. Enough psychology for now. What do you know about feminism, Wayne? I know it's unsafe territory to discuss with a feminist. - Why? - Someone will start shouting'. - Why? - I don't know. Feminism is the belief that women and men should have equal rights and opportunities. So, are you a feminist, Wayne? Well, I trust my sister with just about any job under the sun over a man. - But 'cept this one, I guess. - Excuse me? Not to be impolite but you're not exposed to talk about sex, politics or religion at the supper table. (SIGHING) What do you want, Wayne? - I'd have a Gus'n Bru, likely. - Not what I'm asking. What's a Gus'n Bru? Ooh! I'll Google it and find out. I'm kiddin'. I know exactly what it is. But we don't have any. So, what can I get you to drink? I'll have a Caesar and he'll have a... Pint of lager, please. Something local. - Thank you. - GLEN: All right. So, a local lager for Mr. Brando and a Caesar for Sandy Bullock. I love those orders. Be right back. I didn't think they'd have it at Four Dancers. Yes, I didn't think they'd have it at this resto-bar. - Gastro-pub. - Says "resto-bar" on the sign. It's more of a micro-bistro. Says brasserie on the menu right there, too. It's more of a bistro-brasserie. When I came in they asked me if I wanted to sit at the resto-bar or the gastro-lounge. I'm glad you chose the resto-bar. This is actually the gastro-lounge. Do you know what an emergency call is, Wayne? - Negative. - It's when you have a friend call 10, 15 minutes into a date to be sure the date isn't a total bust. And if it is, then you can play the phone call as though it's an emergency and leave the date. Well, that's fair. I guess we are first cousin to an emergency here. A good one. And you shouldn't be afraid of it. I think we could do good things here. I'm going to call my friend and cancel her pending emergency call, and when I get back, let's talk about your feelings, Wayne. - Okay. - Let's really talk about them. - Okay. - I wanna take 'em, and I wanna talk about them. Oh, it's Wayne. How are you now? Oh, not so bad. Yeah, this one's too hard. (TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING) We don't have time to discuss that business. Devon. Stewart. I come in peace. How do we know you don't have another one of those in your sock? You don't. Speak. Do not approach. - Seen Katy around? - No. - That is all. - (GROWLING) Stewart! Trouble in paradise? If there was, she wouldn't know it. I'm not talking to her. Well played. Wait it out. That way she'll come to the conclusion that you're upset with her and ask you why. - Precisely. - She should anyway. - If she's smart. - I know. - Why are you mad at her? - She acts like... You should try an open relationship. Could be productive. You could also try a hall pass. It's when you give, you know, her being allowed to sleep with one person and that's it, no questions asked. Another plausibly fruitful option. New GTA and COD out today. We're going to sesh. - Been gaming much? - Always gaming. - You? - Just gamed. Stimulating morning game. Evening game will eclipse. I gamed a 4:00-to-4:00 shift last night. You're gaming taxi driver's hours? I gamed a 10:00-to-4:00 shift today. Gaming banker's hours. I'll probably game a 5:00-to-7:00 shift now. Cing a Sept. Nous aussi. You guys wanna hit up a happy hour? We're gonna hit another happy hour. (MUSIC PLAYING) Heads up! - STEWART: Ow! - (CAR HORN BLARING) I'm Lisa. Wayne. GLEN: Wayne! - Glen, how are you now? - Good and you? - Not so bad. - Well, I guess the teddy's out of the tickle trunk on this one, too. I also work here. Reason is the Salty Treat blew out an amp the other day, rockin' out pretty hard to some Lifehouse covers, which will happen. So, I'm pickin' up the slack. I'm happy to do it. Way she goes. I'm Lisa. Are you ever. Look at you! It's America's little sweetheart over here. You're like a little Katy Heigl or like a little Katy Hudson. What can I get ya? Do you have cookies and cream? Do I... Do I have cookies and cream? I sure do have cookies and cream. (SIGHS) And I'm thinkin' maybe a vanilla-fudge swirl chunk for Mr. Newman over here? - That'll do, thank you. - Okay. And you're gonna keep an eye on little Caty Blanchett here - for me till I get back? - Sure will. Thank you! Be right back! - So, you're a farmer, Wayne? - Can confirm. You don't smell like one. (CHUCKLES) I'm kidding. I'm a pre-school principal. Do you like kids? - Hmm... - I know, everyone likes kids. They're so silly. I love them when they're silly. But if they get too silly, they have to come see me. - "Silly"? - Mischief. - Trouble. - We use gentler terms. As a policy. Well, so what happens when they come see you? Well, we do things a little differently in our program. The approach is progressive and positive. We issue a hug consent form to parents, which allows us to hug their kids. Because 99% of the time, all kids need - is a hug. - "A hug"? - A squeeze. - Well, you squeeze 'em. - An embrace. - Oh. - Oh? - Well... - What is it? - Nothin'. - Wayne. - Yeah? - Speak freely. - No, I'd better not. That's the only way we'll get to know each other. But do you ever smack 'em? - Excuse me? - Like, give 'em a good whack? - I don't follow. - Do you ever hit the kid? Like, for being too silly. No! Wayne. We never hit our kids. You shouldn't hit kids. Well, you know what, don't you remember how scared you were of your principal when you were growing up? It's 'cause he'd smack you if you were being too silly. Like your parents wanted you to have a principal who would smack you. They took comfort in the fact that they were sending you to a place every day where someone would smack you for them if you were being too silly. And sometimes I see kids these days, I kind of think, like... Like, wish you could still do that. That sort of discipline is long outdated, Wayne, and frowned upon. We sit the child down... - That's another problem. - What is? - In my opinion. - Sitting? Well, no wonder kids are failing' school, just sittin' around all day. Stand up, you're not doing nothin'. You think sitting is a problem? - Yeah. - Why? 'Cause it makes you soft. - Literally or figuratively? - Well, both, I suppose. - Both? - Yeah. In my opinion. My phone's buzzing. Well, so you like cookies and cream ice cream, hey? Well, I think it's pretty good, too. Hi, Michelle. Oh, no. Okay, I'll be right there. I'm sorry, Wayne, I've gotta go. - It's... - An emergency. - Yeah. - Okay. It's Wayne. Well, how are you now? Oh, not so bad. Yeah, this one's too soft. (SCOFFING) (SIGHING) (SIGHING CONTINUES) (GROANING) (SIGHING) (SIGHING CONTINUES) What? (SCOFFS) I'm not talking to you. Super. - (SIGHS) - It's been three days. Why haven't you asked me what's wrong? - Something wrong? - Of course it is. - You act like I don't... - Should I have known that? It's called "the silent treatment." Step one, I stop talking to you. Step two, you form the conclusion that something is wrong. Step three, you ask me what's wrong. What's up with step one? You've skipped step one and two. What's step three again? You ask me what's wrong! Got it. Good. You bet. Go ahead. Where? - Step three. - What's step three again? (EXHALES) We'll skip step three. I'm just going to tell you what's wrong. That should have been step one. Wrong. Step one and two are fundamental steps. You missed steps, Stewart. How? Step one, become angry with someone. Step two, tell that someone that you're angry. Step three, resolve anger with that someone. - Step four... - (SCOFFING) Step four. Step four, resume peaceful existence. Your logic is frighteningly bewitching. Phantasmagoric. It's time for you to go. What? Where? Leave here? It was a rebound. Even though there was no physical act of rebounding, which is a first for me. (SCOFFS) Gross. Seriously, Katy. W5. No one has time for the silent treatment, Stewart. Not even in Letterkenny. Adios. (MUSIC PLAYING) - DAN: Heads up! - (LAUGHS) Nice try, shirt-tuckers! (DARYL SNICKERS) Ow! (WAILING) (MUSIC PLAYING) Hi, Wayne. Angie. Wayne! Oh, my gourd, what a coincidence. Oh, I bet you're thinkin' I work here. I don't work here. I just love Guy's fries. They're so crispy, and you add a little salt... (LAUGHS) I just think they're so delicious. Ooh! Who is this? You're a masterpiece, aren't ya? You're like a Shelly Pfeiffer, you're like a Charlie Theron, or like a Penny Cruz. Ooh! You're like a little Angie Jolie. That's who you are, you're Angie. How are you now? - Good and you? - Not so bad. Can we talk? - Okay. - "Talk." In your truck. Okay. Now that was just right. (EXHALES) So how did you make out, super chief? Did you find the missing Goldi-link? You falling' in Goldi-love? It's better to Goldi-let this go, before I Goldi-lose my shit. Oh, take your drink, you Goldi-lush. Tread Goldi-lightly. So, that's no toe-curlin' then? It's impolite to kiss and tell. Nothin' wrong with a little stank on the hang down. Nothin' wrong with a little takesin' out in the trades. A little hizzin' in the skizzins. No, I know there's nothin' wrong with a little goin' to the bone yard, I know that. Nothin' wrong with a little bacon makin'. Nothin' wrong with a little shot twixt winds and waters. A little building the blanket monster. I know there's nothin' wrong with a little pituitary poke. - I know that. - Nothin' wrong with a little making' the beast with two backs. Makin' feet for children's stocking's. Testing the tube steak. Look, I know there's nothin' wrong with a little crawl up the skin slide. - I know that. - Nothin' wrong with a little, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" Now just pump the brakes right there. - I got a question. - Have at 'er. Then I got a comment. Well, let's hear it, good buddy. Now, my question. When have you ever heard a girl go, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." - Well... - Other than in a porno. - I don't believe I have. - Me neithers. That's because we don't say that. - Well... - Not unless it's in a porno. WAYNE: Now my comment. You see, the way Dary did the "yes, yes, yes, yes, yes's" is not the way they do the "yes, yes, yes" in pornos. That's the way they do it. The girl gets all excited, and she goes, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." Yes, but the way you're doing the "yes, yes, yes, yes's" is not the way they do the "yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." DARYL: It is the way they do it. They go, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." - That's exactly how they do it. - WAYNE: No, they don't. What they do is they find a super-high pitch for those first four yes's. And then they come in all dramatic for that final "yes." So, it goes a little something like, "Yes, yes, yes, yes." And then they get all dramatic for that final "yes." Say, "Yes! Oh." I don't think that's how they do it. I'd have to hears it again. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" Yeah. Yeah, porno girls do that. But only when the porno guys aren't busy finding some super-low tone and repeating over and over again, "Ah, fuck." "Ah, fuck." I takes a bit offense to that, Miss Katy, as I have a naturally low voice, and I do likes to say, "Ah, fuck." "Ah, fuck." Exceptin' I don't do it in pornos. Well, then you should do voiceovers for English-dubbed foreign pornos, Dan, because that was a text book "ah, fuck, ah, fuck." Why thank you, Miss Katy. I've never had any complaints from any of my sexual companions about my "ah, fuck, ah, fuck." KATY: Let me hear yours, Dary. Well, I... I'm confused still on the "yes, yes, yes, yes, yes's." So, Wayne, it's like, uh, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes"? See, it's not as if it's a fuckin' question, Dary, is it? You're saying it like it's a question. So, it's like, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." You're gettin' closer, Dary, but what you want to do is put a little pepper on the end of it. You just want to put a little pepper on the end of it. Like, "Yes!" "Yes!" "Ah, fuck." - It's like, "Yes, yes, yes... " - "Ah, fuck." - "... yes, yes, yes!" - "Ah, fuck." Like, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" "Yes!" Just having a fight with my hat. - (ALL MOANING) - "Oh, my God." (GRUNTING) (MOANING) "Oh, my God!" "Feels really good." "Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God." (ALL MOANING) "Oh, my God! Three praccys a week, buddy? Three praccys a week in Senior-A whale shit, buddy. Half these guys wheel their fuckin' bags into the rink. The day I fuckin' wheel my bag into the rink is the day I stop playing hockey. A-fuckin'-men, buddy. Why do we even praccy, buddy? Should be rippin' sandos. See me toss the sauce in the skates - all night long, buddy? - Just tossing' rocket sauce straight into the blades, boys. I don't even know what a tape-to-taper is anymore. Not sure what a tape-to-taper is anymore, buddy. - Fuck tape-to-tapers, buddy. - Fuck tapers. I fired a point-blank clap bomb directly into Barts's chest tonight. Fired a point-blank point bomb straight in Yorkie's junk. I snowed our plug tendy no less than nine times. I snow-showered our plug tendy and that was his own "D," man. (BOTH LAUGHING) Praccy's not badski when you're donkin'. I could donk all day, boys. (TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING) Subtitle by peritta _ - TIM: Hey, Mama. - Hey. What's wrong? Nothing. Okay, you know what? I can't believe that you just ignored the dirtiest text I've ever sent you. Well, dirty text? What dirty text? I didn't get any dirty text. I got... Ooh, geez. No. The last text I got from you said, "Never mind. - I forgot I had eaten beets." - No. (sighs) - Oh... (murmuring) - Uh-huh. I think that's the dirtiest text anybody's ever sent anybody. You like it like that. Well, now I see why I never received it. (laughs) You sent that to Tyler. (screams) I can't go home. I can never go home again. It can't be that bad. Whoa. I have never even seen this on the Internet. You watch that kind of stuff on the Internet? Sometimes. Don't you? No, it's blocked at my house. I thought it was because of my dad, but now I'm wondering if it's because of my mom. Hmm. You'll be fine. My dentist accidentally sexts me, like, once a week. Ooh. You know what I'm gonna do? I'll look him in the eye and I'll just say, "Hey, autocorrect completely changed the grocery list I gave your dad." Well, not completely. I mean, "cream" and "meat" could have stayed the same. God, Tim, why? Why aren't you helping me with this? ! I'm sorry, honey. I'm just enjoying this too much because, for once, it's not me who screwed up. Okay, you know what I need? I-I need the advice... of a professional. Did I do this to you? Did I make you like this? No, no. Nobody did anything to me. I just... I'm trying to keep it spicy with Tim. Honey, I didn't even know people could do this, and I've had some long layovers in Bangkok. - Mom! - I'm sorry. This is a little more than I could handle, so, I-I... I think I'm gonna talk to my therapist. Do you think that he can help me? No, no, this is for me. You need a priest. (car engine approaching) (car door closes) HEATHER: I got this. I got this. (keys jingling) I don't got this. I don't got this. I don't got this. I don't got this. (beeping) What? Did you know that Victoria's Secret sold their Web site to someone called "Net Nanny"? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Will you go get me a glass of water? I can smell Pop Tarts, so I know Tyler's in the kitchen. Look, I cannot keep doing this. If I wanted to run up and down the stairs two times a day, I'd join a gym. You're gonna have to talk to him again at some point. Maybe not. Maybe like a mama bear out in the wild, I've taught my cub all that I can, and now it's time for him to go out and maul some tourists on his own. You know what? I'll get you a glass of water. Ooh, hey, hey. And a Pop Tart? Oh, well, if you want a Pop Tart, I do not have to go downstairs. You have a problem. Hey, buddy. Oh, thank God it's you, man. I was so scared to come out of my room. But I really needed a drink of water. I almost let Clementine get it for me. Clementine's in your room? N-No. All right, look, this is crazy. You got your mom right where you want her right now. You need to take advantage of it. - What do you mean? - What's one thing you've always wanted to do, but your mom wouldn't let you do? Go to Tijuana. Then you go to Tijuana right now! How can she possibly say no when she won't even look you in the eye? You really think she would let me go to Tijuana just to avoid talking to me? Only one way to find out. - (chuckles) - Look. I also want to clarify one thing - about that text. - No, no, no, please... I would be doing those things to your mother, and not the other way around, because... no, look at me. You got to look at me. Because I am the man. And that's the man's job. Good news. You may unbuckle your safety belt and move freely about the house. Tyler is leaving. What? Oh, thank God! Where's he going? He and Clem are driving down to Tijuana. What? No! No! No! - They are not! - Oh, I'm sure they'll be fine. I gave them a whole bunch of cash and my dusty wallet condom. And the mother bear's off to protect her cub. Tijuana, here we come. (car engine starts) - Oh! - Oh! Get out of the car. You are not going to Tijuana. You listen to me. Tijuana is a low-down dirty place where anything goes, which is why I love it. But you cannot go because you are still a child. So are you. I think we can agree my childhood ended with that text. Okay, you know what? Listen. I love your dad very deeply and I work hard to make sure that our marriage is strong and our love life is spicy. And I don't feel like I should have to apologize for that. I-I am, however, very sorry that you had to know that Mommy does those things to Daddy. Heather! Daddy does those things to Mommy. Okay. Yeah. _ Yeah. Lark just would not stop crying today. - Yeah. - And 45 minutes later, I found out her shoe was on too tight. How am I supposed to know that? I know, it's gonna be so much easier when she can talk. Like, we won't feel like we're, like, on a Japanese game show we don't know the rules to. Hey. - Is that Sam? - Yeah. Hey, Sam, what's up? Hey, Uncle Greg. Move, you're blocking the view. Oh, of what? Oh, the security guard stuck against the wall on a Segway? No, we're spying on my boyfriend. You have a boyfriend? Irving Rosenblatt... he's the coolest boy in the class. He's been acting weird. I'm not even sure if we're boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. He liked three of Lexie's pictures on Instagram. Oh, I hate her. Unless you're Lexie. No, I'm Jenna. Lexie's a monster. - Knew it. - Okay. All right, well, uh, what does his relationship status on his Facebook say? "Facebook"? I don't know, Grandpa. We don't have a typewriter. - Snap. - Oh, come on, Facebook is on a compute... No, no, no, stop talking, because the more you say, the older we get. Okay, fine, I won't say anything. No, no, no! We can actually help this child. Unlike Lark, she's telling us what's wrong in words we can understand. Yeah, we're gonna tell you - what you do here, okay? - Yes. Just go over there. No, if we get too close, he might recognize us. Okay, well, uh, here. He won't recognize us. (stammers) He didn't know what we looked like before. Yeah, of course. Hey, will you put this on my birthday list? Yeah, okay, one stupid hat. Got it. What's up, Broseph Stalin? You looking for something special? Maybe for a special someone? You work here? - Yeah, we do. We for sure do. - Yeah. We work in this store. Yeah, I've been working in this mall since '97. - Yeah. - Back when the big and the tall stores - were still segregated. - Pre-merger. - Yeah. - I'm Jen... and I'm the store manager. Anyway, do you have a girlfriend, Irving? How do you know my name? Well, there's a... a reason I'm the manager. You know what I'm saying? Anyway, girlfriend? Yes? No? If you do have a girlfriend, everything in the store is half off. I thought I had a girlfriend. - Ah. - She didn't "like" his Instagram of him surfing. My boy got dropped! - Ball tap! - Oh... (whispers): Ball tap... Hey, well, did you ever think of maybe just, like, talking to her? Like, asking her why she didn't "like" the photo? All right, who are you guys? Do you even work here? Three-time manager of the year, right here. Yeah, I've won a lot of awards. Okay, then how come every guy who works here has his shirt off but you? What's up? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. No. What are you doing? What are you doing? No, no, no. We've gone too far. We've gone too far. Yeah, we gotta go. We gotta go. Run! I didn't dump him. I just didn't want to "like" a picture of him shirtless on a surfboard. Hannah G. got dumped because she liked too many of Jonty Crawford's pictures. Hannah's such a "like" whore. She'll, like, "like" anything. Even, like, a gross tuna sandwich you, like, made or whatever. That was super interesting, Jenna, but it added nothing to the conversation. Just a tip. - Let me see that. - GREG: I can't see it. - Zoom in a little. - SAMANTHA: No, don't... (gasps) Oh, my God... What? What did I do? You "liked" it. That picture was from three days ago. He's just going to think I was home scrolling through all of his photos! Back-liking is so desperate! Okay. You know what? Enough with the spying and social media. Why don't you just go ask him how he feels about you? You mean have a conversation? I don't want to freak him out. Right. Let me get some clarity here. You guys are-are boyfriend and girlfriend... I love him. No, you don't, but that-that's fine. So here's another question. Have you two ever spoken? Of course. We talk all the time. In person? With actual words that the other person hears and then responds to? What are we, Amish? You should try it, Sam. And just be straight with him. JEN: Yeah, guys love it when you're direct. Like when I told Greg his dream hat was stupid. (scoffs) The old lady doesn't understand sweet lids. Hey, just think, in 12 years, we're gonna be able - to help Lark like this. - JEN: Yeah, but I don't want to help her too much, you know? I want her to be able to learn - how to solve problems on her own. - Yeah. I thought you guys were, like, super old and gross or whatever, but you're actually, like, really cool aunts and uncle or whatever. Thanks or whatever. He dumped me. - What? - What? W-What'd he do that for? He said I was suffocating him. I can't believe you guys made me talk to my boyfriend. You ruined my life! And mine! SAMANTHA: God! - JEN: Um... - JENNA: Let's get piercings. Do you understand anything that just happened? Yeah. Teenagers are crazy. I mean, I think we got it wrong. Like, babies are not the hard part. That is the hard part. But we'll get through it. - Yeah. (sighs) - Mm-hmm. We just gotta put our thinking caps on. Okay, just get the hat, Greg. Oh, yeah. They still got it! Great. Yo, what are you doing? Oh. Uh, helping to get your new roommate all settled in. My new roommate? No. No. No, no, no, no, no. _ _ (whinnies) JOHN: Look at you! Pop-Pop's little Dale Evans! Dale Evans was a movie cowgirl back in the '50s. She wrote the song "Happy Trails" and I used to sing that to you when you were on the potty, when we were saying good-bye to your poops! Remember? Don't watch me, Pop-Pop. It's embarrassing. Just wait for me at the car. (snorts) What in the world? Well, aren't you a horse of a different everything? She's a cutie, huh? (laughing): Yeah. Looks like you left your horse in the dryer too long. TRAINER: Her name's Lemonade. I think she likes you. Awesome. (laughs) Joanie, I got a surprise. Oh, is it a food surprise? I love food surprises. What on earth is that? It's a mini-horse. Her name is Lemonade, and she's come to live in our house forever. What? - Isn't she great? - No! It looks like a child in an animal suit. Well, come on, give her a pet. - (neighs) - (gasps) Oh! Now, that's no way to treat family, Lemonade. Be nice. Aw... Now you're just flirting to flirt. She'll come around. I promise you. Come on, girl. Let's go night-night. ("We're Going to Be Friends" by The White Stripes playing) ♪ Fall is here, hear the yell ♪ ♪ Back to school, ring the bell ♪ I'm drinking, she's driving. ♪ Climb the fence, books and pens ♪ ♪ I can tell that we are gonna be friends ♪ ♪ I can tell that we are gonna be friends ♪ ♪ Walk with me, Suzy Lee ♪ - ♪ Through the park and by the tree ♪ - Yes. ♪ We will rest upon the ground ♪ ♪ And look at all the bugs we found ♪ Oh, hell no. ♪ Safely walk to school without a sound ♪ ♪ Safely walk to school without a sound ♪ (song continues over headphones) ♪ Here we are, no one else ♪ ♪ We walked to school... ♪ Yo, what are you doing? Oh. Uh, helping to get your new roommate all settled in. My new roommate? No. No. No, no, no, no, no... Look, your mother doesn't want her in the house. What am I supposed to do? I don't know... off the top of my head, maybe not bring home a little, tiny horse. Well, it's too late for that. I'd let her fall asleep first, if I were you. She does get a little randy in the evening, huh? See? Good night. (nickers) Come on, girl. What is this? Oh, this was our wedding album. These were photos of you and I pledging our love to one another. Why would you try to eat it? That hooved hussy did. - (whinnies) - John, I've tried to be patient, but this is a nightmare. Can you please tell me what's really going on? Nothing, Joanie. It was fate. If Sophia hadn't sent me packing, I never would've met this adorable little equine shrinky-dink. Those are our vows she's chewing. Hmm? Uh, here. There. (sighs) Come on, Lemonade. I'll take you back to the barn. The trainer was nice enough to take her back. Evidently, this happens all the time. What she hadn't told me is the minute you take them off the ranch, they lose 40% of their value. (yips) Who are you? This is Tank. Tank's a Yorkie. Oh, my goodness. Hello, Tank. I'm John. I was thinking about what you said, honey, and-and maybe this isn't about a horse; maybe this is about you struggling with Sophia getting older. And so I got you a pet that's gonna stay little forever. Oh, thanks, Joanie. You're so welcome, sweetheart. I love you. - (growls, barks) - (gasps) Seriously? Bitches love me. Did you get me a prostitute? - No, he's a dancer. - Classy. But if you tip him enough, he will have sex with you. _ (sportscaster speaking indistinctly) (chattering, shouting indistinctly) - Look at him. - Just... behaving as if nothing ever happened. The best relationship he's ever had is over, and he's just sitting there eating hot wings. And I'll bet you Colleen is just drowning in tequila right now. That's not racist. No, no, Latinos can swim. Do we know what happened? Yeah, it's the same thing that always happens. He meets somebody great, they want a commitment, he freaks out, and then he dumps them, like an idiot. Yeah. And he told you that? No, he told me to mind my own business. Wow. Rude. Oh. (Jen clears throat) Hey, honey, uh, what has Matt told you about the breakup? Oh. You know, I wish I could tell you, but can't... bro code. Yeah, you don't remember, do you? Uh, maybe he said he was sad. JEN: Mm-hmm. Or fine or maybe happy. You're a good listener. Thanks. (indistinct shouting, cheering) Ugh, poor Colleen. Yeah, we got to do something. - Hey, what if we had a girls' night? - (gasps) You know, like, to let her know we're still friends. Oh, yes, I have such a great idea for that. Wait, me, too. Wouldn't it be cool if we had the same idea? - Yeah. - Okay, let's say 'em at the same time. - Ready? - Okay. - Three, two, one. Get wasted. - YouTube dance tutorials. We could do both of those things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or we could just do mine. All right, here, to girls' night. HEATHER: Girls' night. - I need this so bad. - Yeah. I've been a wreck. Oh, honey, it's gonna be okay. Mmm. You know what we're gonna do? We are gonna dance the sad right out of you. I was thinking we start with the Charleston, and then we just move forward chronologically. Yeah, and by the time you get to the Electric Slide, you're really gonna feel better, - because you're going to be bombed. - (imitates explosion) Oh, I don't know if anything can make me feel any better. I'm just so sad that it's come to this. Well, I got a little someone coming who's gonna make you feel real good. - Hey, what did you do? - No, I didn't do him, but Colleen can. Did you get me a prostitute? What? No. (scoffs) What do you take me for? No, he's a dancer. Classy. But if you tip him enough, he will have sex with you. HEATHER: (gasps) Oh, this is perfect. Yeah, it's gonna be good. This could be just the thing that makes Matt jealous, that he'll just come running-man back to you. Jealous? - Yeah, jealous. - Yes. You guys haven't talked to Matt, have you? - No way. - Hell no. - Team Colleen. - Hos before bros. I broke up with him. - What's that? - Shut the front door. You just said you missed him. I do. Well, then why did you break up with him, Colleen? Because Matt's a great guy. I got scared. Matt fits into some really bad patterns in my family history. Heather, there is a doctor here to see you guys. I cannot believe you're calling in outside help when I'm right here. ♪ I like the way you do it, honey ♪ ♪ Especially when we do that... ♪ Oh. Oh, I get it, yeah. Okay. - (gunfire, explosions) - (cell phone buzzes) _ _ (stammering) _ _ (groans) No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Matt, Chad... - Mm-hmm, yeah. my three boyfriends before that. None of them had steady jobs. And all of them were these dreamers addicted to romance. - Yeah, you really do only date your father. - Yeah. You guys only got me for another 18 minutes. You want me to dance or anything? - Um... - Can you unload the dishwasher? (sighs) Anyway, I've done some soul-searching, and I think I've finally figured it out. - I haven't told anybody this... - HEATHER: I think that sounds like a natural stopping point right there. So great to catch up with you. Really, really fun. - What are you do...? - We're just getting into it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this has been a good hang, but I think it's time to bye-bye. - Oh, that's... that's it? - Yeah. Where do your serving spoons go? Second drawer to the left. Thank you, Doctor. I really love bonding with you. Next time let's not dwell on Matt. You know, he's gone. Who the hell have you been talking t...? - Hey. - Hey. Uh, hanging out with my sisters? Yeah. Yeah, thought I'd give it a try. Was worried it might be weird. Turns out I'm right. How are you... how are you doing? Fine. You? Fine. Also. Great. Okay. - Bye. - Bye. (sighs) I came in here to yell at you, and, uh, now I'm just sad. - It's too personal. - For her or for you? Jackson. What? When? Is Flynn all right? What can you tell me about Viktor Karp? I don't know the name. Karp was moving lithium out of the mine you and mom ran. ETU raided the offices last week. He started as a drug runner. Now he transports weapons. Is Musa planning an attack? - I mean, is that what the Purge is? - I... I don't know. I never met Karp. Only your mother dealt with him. So Mom dealt with Karp, what did you do? I had other business. I also maintained the family unit. I took my job seriously. That part was always real. Guy's got nine lives. Got away with just cuts and bruises. And a hell of a hangover. We sure it was just an accident? Doc says his blood alcohol level was 0.23. Deliberate, then? Because of his wife? That and he's battle-bent. Came at me pretty hard yesterday. Are you two going to be able to work together? No, I don't take that shit personally. But I can't say the same for sleeping beauty. God knows he could tell anybody anything. It was his drive to find his wife that led us to McCarthy. Perhaps he can still be of some use. And if he's not? Well... we pull the plug. Latest SAT intel has Karp running planes from a dirt strip in Northern Mexico. No, we know where Karp is, and his entire family for that matter. That's never been the issue. We just confirmed, Karp's working with the Hunters. Karp also has ongoing dealings with the CIA. - He's protected. - I don't want Karp. I want the bitch he answers to. - Your mother. - She knows more than my dad ever could. That's whose fingernails you should be pulling out with pliers. You did well with your father. You gained more in ten minutes than we have in years. You hurt him again and I will tear your throat out. Careful, Agent Regan. Threatening a superior officer is cause for immediate dismissal. You won't. You need me and you know it. Let me go to Mexico. I go through Karp to get my mom and I bring her back. In exchange, you release my dad. I don't feel anything. The scute protein's solution's tricky, but I think I'm making progress. You think? Well, I haven't slept in days. Maybe if you just let me get some rest. I just got kidnapped by space aliens to conduct a freaking top secret science experiment. You know what we need. Accelerated regrowth of your native mantle. I understand what you're asking but come on. He's doing the best he can. Do better. Liana's under a lot of pressure. Don't worry, once you crack this, you'll be back home, safe and sound. What if I can't? I won't let her harm you. You have my word. _ Adíos. Allison's in a play this weekend. - Put the meeting off a couple days. - You know I can't do that. Going to school events is what normal parents do. So you're behind schedule in your research because of PTA meetings? There is no time to waste! We've got to get the reversion procedure working! Mommy? Allison. What are you still doing up? It's late, honey, you should be asleep by now. This is exactly what I'm talking about. Fostering human tendencies only confuses her. - It's not fair, Ted. - Let's get you back to bed. Making her think she's something she's not, it's not fair to her! Déjame verla. No le dejen mover. Take off your clothes. She's clean. Viktor Karp, I'm Regan. Agent Regan of Homeland Security. ETU. I'm out. That's why I'm here. What happened here? I had a baby. The humans took it. Why you want to see Liana? I'm her daughter. Liana doesn't have a daughter. You're at home. So I see. I had you brought here. We needed you someplace private in case you said something you shouldn't. Flynn, you got a drug problem. No. - No. I got an alien problem. - Well, you need to deal with it before I let you back on the team. Team? Right. 'Cause we're all just team players, aren't we, Truss? You're using me. You're using Regan. God knows what you got on Briggs. You are privy to information that is beyond classified. And if I don't come back and play, you're gonna contain me? If I have to. Flynn, are you all right? Yeah, I'm great. - What are you doing here? - My counselor brought me. Your boss said you had an accident. Yeah. Your story checks out. Well, I'm sorry for the security measures. Are you comfortable? Give me what I want and I don't give a damn where you hold me. You fought against the Hunters, but now you want to join them? The humans took me away from my mother. They took my baby. They used me, made me fight against the Hunters. I want to be with my own kind. I think I believe that. So Liana's coming for me? Not quite yet. First time I shot up, I was 16. I was a punky-ass kid on a skateboard. In the parking lot of a 7-11 in Davenport, Texas, I bought a dime bag from a dealer named Shotgun Vallardo. One taste and I was hooked. So you were a junkie. Is that supposed to impress me? Oh, I wasn't hooked on the junk. I was hooked on the deal. Next day I was running for Shotgun. And six months later, Shotgun's wife was a widow and I had every last one of his buyers in my pocket. See, we're the same under the skin, you, me, all us Hunters. We have the same animal urges. The desire, the will, and the strength to destroy and dominate. What are you gonna do with my blood? Angel, don't you worry your pretty little head about that. You keep your end of the deal and I'll keep mine. Anything you'd like to say about what you've heard so far? We've reunited you with your daughter. I only ask that you translate Hunter recordings that we've intercepted. No. I'll start then, shall I? Hunters have been sourcing lithium. Enriched lithium is a fuel source for nuclear warheads. And Musa has been working with Viktor Karp, and arm's dealer who has access to long-range missiles. All right so far? Well, you seem to have it all worked out. What do you need from me? Cockroaches are extraordinary creatures. Very hardy. They're extremely adaptive. They molt. They chirp. They have shells. And they can survive a nuclear explosion. Hunters molt. They click. They have shells. And they have nuclear weapons. I think that you, Hunters, are reverting to your alien shells because Musa is planning a nuclear attack, and that's how you'll survive. You have no idea what you're talking about. We did well in raising your daughter for you, don't you think? By turning her against her own kind? - No. No, I don't. - When we found Allison, she was on a direct course for self-destruction. Poor kid would be dead by now if we hadn't intervened. We saved her life, Ted. You might even say that I still have a hand in keeping her alive. Should we have another listen? Don't worry. Your daughter's not going anywhere. Yeah, we can keep her as long as you like. I understand your timeline, Liana. No, we're arranging transportation now. Tell Musa his delivery's on its way. Florida, seriously? Right. Well, we'll move somewhere colder, then. - Canada? - Maple syrup and mullets? No thanks. Did mom fight for me? You told her I wanted to live with you, right? Yes, but... She didn't put up a fight, did she? Liana was overwhelmed by the news. She doesn't want us to leave. - Screw her. - Don't be like that. Like what? She's never home. She treats you like shit. - She hates me. - She doesn't hate you. - Hey. - What are you two up to? Nothing, God, don't be such a paranoid freak. Party time, princess. It's time for us to say goodbye. Like hell. We made a deal, Karp. - Liana's coming. - She's... she's coming here? It's a family reunion. And I'm off to one of my own. Farewell, my sweet. Your generosity will not be forgotten. It was just an accident. Motorcycles don't have seat belts. You could have died. If you had died, I'd be alone. You wouldn't be Flynn, you'd just be dead. Emme, I said I'm sorry. What else do you want me to say? Huh? He's fine, he's fine, he's fine, he's fine. How are you holding up, Emme? Holding what up? How are you doing with Flynn being hurt? I'm fine. He's not going to die. Did my counselor leave? She'll be here in a few minutes, take you back home. You mean school. This is my home. Yeah, of course it is. I'm gonna go look for Haydn. The cat. The composer's dead. Okay. Shit! _ Abby? What? Is this usual for your... people in your native form? She's building a nest. We do it during molting and breeding. - I know, it looks... - Freaky as shit. No offense. Trust me, it's a good sign. Can I ask you something? Is everyone here, all the workers, are they... what you are? No, a few are human, scientists like you are. - They're here of their own accord. - Lucky them. I'm sorry I had to bring you here like this. It's not me that I'm worried about. It's my family. - My kids. - You have children? Two. Six and eight. They live with my ex. You? You have any little ones? A daughter. She's 16. She here? She's not with me anymore. You miss her? Very much. The mantle's quite pronounced now. You're almost home. Hey, Mom. Why did you come here? I needed to see you... in person. You didn't ask to see me before, - when you were with Musa. - I wanted to, but I was afraid. Of your own mother? I thought you would reject me, send me away. And yet you ran away from the Hunt, from Abby and the others. It was too much too fast. When I saw Jules, I couldn't handle it, but Musa was right. I don't belong at the ETU. I'm tired of hating myself, of fighting what I really am. You can help me. You didn't raise me as a Hunter, but you can now. I want you to be my mom again. Why should I believe you? I'm here, aren't I? Love does swing the hammer. I'm not gonna hurt you, Mom. Then show me. Come closer. It's been ten years since we've seen each other. The least you can do is give me a hug. You think I'm gonna hurt you? You would if Musa told you to. What Musa and I have struggled for is worth more than any one single person. It's about our species' survival. We've all had to make sacrifices. Now tell me, I was yours. The bond between Hunters is different, deeper than humans. We're not just family, we're inside each other, it's how we're made. Losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Like a part of me was ripped from my flesh. And I never forgot it, Allison, never. Not one day has gone past when I haven't thought of you. You... are a part of me. And I love you. I love you, too. That hollow in your back is sacred. That's where we carry our young in their native form. You defiled it because you despise yourself. I blame your father for that. Ted ruined you, Allison, and yet I'm the one you hate. You were born a Hunter! You know how you came to look like you do? I chose this body for you, a vehicle to keep you safe and strong. You killed someone for their body? For you! I chose well. - I was a child. A baby! - That baby would have died anyway. Its mother was a drunk, living in a slum. I did it a favor and I did it for you! Stop! No! There's water in the tap. Good to know. - Where's Jackson? - Change of shift. Come back for more, have you, tough guy? Oh, you're looking a whole lot worse than I am. Whatever. Where are you going? Tequila and tacos. You want? Come back inside, we need to talk. - I'm done talking. - Let's head inside. Ah, shit. Seriously? Okay. I get it. Jackson's hatchet, man. Come on. Here I am, do it. Go back inside the house, I'll grab my service weapon, tell Jackson I made a move on you. He doesn't have to know. I'll take it from here, Agent Briggs. Let's take a drive. She's beautiful. I envy you, your emotional responses to things, I... I train myself out of it. But there has been a cost. Well, maybe you should stop with the daddy routine. Let people figure it out themselves. You're right, Flynn. I can't fix you. Only you can do that. This was just after you escaped from the Hunters in Afghanistan. You're not suicidal, Flynn. You're angry. The Hunters did something to you. And until you face it, find out what really happened, it will kill you. So who cares? Emme does. You're all she has now. Don't let the Hunters take everything away from her, too. How was Karp? His shipment's arrived. I've got everything we needed from him. What's the status on the reversion? One of Sterling's solutions was successful. You've been observing Sterling. Can you replicate the process? Can you replicate the process without him? - Yes. - Then you know what comes next. It's all here? Something so huge contained in these notes. Incredible. The incredible thing is our species working together. In a few days, I have accomplished what no other human scientist could even dream of. Imagine what we can learn from one another. Humans would never accept us. They see us as monsters. You're not monsters, not to me. Not anymore. You're just trapped in a skin that doesn't fit you. In a world that just doesn't understand you, but people can change. Yes, we can. Tell me about your children. My girl, Mariana, she's six. She loves racing cars. Anything to do with speed. And Lucas, he... He has dark masses of curly hair and his eyes are... like two bright shining stars. Sorry. So Karp packed up his Mexican operation? We don't know where he is now. He was moving lots of stuff. Supplies, heavy duty equipment. Crazy stunt, but no infection. You are all good. Thanks, Doc. When I was at Karp's compound, I saw something being hauled in on a giant flatbed. It was long, metallic, cylindrical, like a submarine. It was massive. A missile? Yes. Full report on my desk by morning. I want my dad released. You didn't fulfill your end of the bargain. However, I will allow continued access to your father. He's been surprisingly cooperative since you two have been talking. Dad? You don't look so good. What's happened? I didn't think I'd see you again. Finnerman keeps us guessing. She came to see me. - If she hurt you... - No, no. She... she didn't lay a hand on me. I'm fine, really, I'm just... I'm just tired. Whose body am I in? You've seen Liana. That's what happened to your face, isn't it? Dad, tell me the truth. Where did this, me, come from? I need to know. Musa sent you to us from a breeding camp. Your mother found you a human skin, even though I knew what it meant... an innocent. Did it have a name? The baby? Allison. From the day you became Allison, I vowed to protect you with my life. But... I failed you. No. Yes. We should have left. Gone on the run. I'm so, so sorry. Dad, don't. You did everything you could to protect me. I always will. I don't know what you're saying. I'm saying that I love you. As long as I'm alive, you're in danger. - They'll use us against each other. - Who? Finnerman? I won't let her. I couldn't protect you before, Allison. But I can now. Dad, what have you done? You weren't supposed to see this. You should go. Dad, no! No! Help us, someone, please help us! Protect... protect the innocent ones. No! No, Dad. Hey, stay with me, okay? You're gonna be okay. Just... Just stay with me. Stay with me, okay? Please, someone help us! (engines revving) (cars accelerating) JARED (over radio): Hold your line. Keep your speed up, Dana. You're doing great. I'm doing so great, how come you're right up on my ass? I'm drafting you. (laughs) Not for long, you're not. (gears shift) (laughs) DANA: Jared? JARED: Something's wrong. (engines revving) I can't brake! Jared? Oh, wait. I can't control it! (tires squeal) Jared! Jared! ♪ NCIS: New Orleans 3x09 ♪ Overdrive Original Air Date on December 13, 2016 ♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom ♪ ♪ Bang, bang, bang, bang ♪ ♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom ♪ ♪ How, how, how, how ♪ ♪ Hey, hey ♪ == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man ♪ You gotta come on. ♪ Got you back in the monkey suit already, do they? - Oh. - Monkey suit? I'm-I'm so sorry. I thought you were Agent Gregorio. Oh. And you are...? Special Agent Dwayne Pride, NCIS. Hey. He's the one I told you about. Oh, the Dwayne Pride. It's nice to meet you. I'm Hannah Lee. I'm with the U.S. attorney's office. I.E., don't piss her off. We flew down here yesterday together from D.C. Nice to meet you. Helping out with the Javier Garcia investigation? Hoping to build a case against him, so I can petition the grand jury for an indictment. Cut the snake off at the head and get the cartel out of NOLA once and for all. They don't call it NOLA down here. They prefer New Orleans. Oh, glad to see we made an impression on you, Gregorio. Oh, absolutely. (Pride chuckles) You come bearing gifts? Uh, actually, Garcia does. Bourbon, as a thank you, for helping us save his son's school last week. This is expensive stuff. I'd say that's more of a bribe. Yeah, why I brought it over. Thought you'd want to log it as evidence. How's Sebastian? I bet he's so excited to be a part of the team, huh? Not part of it yet, still has to make it through FLETC training, which means, until he does, we're short-handed again. I'm sorry to leave you high and dry. Yeah. But look, if you need any help, just let me know, all right? Okay. Except that I don't think that you can. Director Isler made it pretty clear to me that we are only down here to build the case against Garcia, and then (beeping) it's back to D.C. for good. Well... I get that. It's an important case. I gotta go. Nice to meet you, Ms. Lee. Hey, tell everyone I said hi, okay? Yeah, you bet. Bye. Let's get back to work. (siren wailing) The victim is Corporal Jared Connors, 28, Fourth Marine Division. Drove here regularly when he was on leave, he even raced in the amateur circuit a few times. Experienced driver. Apparently. Him and the girlfriend, Dana Wells, were the only drivers on the track when he crashed. Lost control of his car? Yeah, except his father thinks he was murdered. Russ Connors is a mechanic on one of the racing teams. Told the sheriffs he's convinced the car was sabotaged. Sabotage? Why does he think that? Well, I didn't get to talk to him. He got cut pretty bad taking his son out of the wreck, so... Paramedics took and the girlfriend to the hospital. Think that's case-related? More like trouble in paradise. I don't think he and Melody are getting along right now. Well, it can't be easy... Woman pops into his life, surprises him with a baby. At least Lasalle's trying to do the right thing. Just wish it didn't affect his work so much, undermanned as it is. Christopher! Cause of death appears to be blunt force trauma to the head, neck, chest. It's consistent with an impact of over 100 miles an hour. Oh, it's like he never slowed down. And the only silver lining is the death is likely instantaneous. He didn't suffer. PRIDE: Possible he had a medical condition? Heart attack? Stroke? He's awfully young. But I'll know more after the autopsy, and I'll do a tox screen for drugs and alcohol. SEBASTIAN: Hey, boss. Oh, wait, nobody calls you "boss," do they? It's too informal. I get it, it's no way to start a relationship. Sebastian, we're not starting a relationship, okay? We've known each other for years. Yeah, but not as employer and employee. That's a whole different dynamic, sir. "Sir" doesn't sound right, either. You sure about making this guy an agent? I find that hurtful, you know, right here. The case, Sebastian. Right. Yeah, well, uh, it's really simple, I guess, at least on the surface. Car was going too fast, couldn't make the turn. Don't really need fancy forensics to figure that part out. Any signs of sabotage? Not yet. But I'll have the car transported to the evidence garage, I'll do a full forensic work-up. Unless, of course, you need me to stay here. Interview witnesses, canvass the area. 'Cause I am totally up to speed on the NCIS investigation manual. And I need you to finish the examination. You still work for me, for now, remember? You got it, boss. PRIDE: We're not gonna leave you undermanned, Loretta. Sebastian can still work out of the lab for you, even after he becomes a special forensics agent. Just wish somebody had told me in advance. LASALLE: Ooh, sorry about that, King. Won't happen again. Talk about it later. You got experience tracking cars. What do you see? Well, not a lot that makes sense, especially with these skid marks. Racers know to control their slides around turns, but these indicate that Jared kept accelerating for some reason, and then lost it. Well, maybe his accelerator stuck. It's possible, but these skid marks are inconsistent with braking, which begs the question, why didn't he? Well, hopefully Sebastian will be able to give us some answers. Meanwhile, let's find out everything we can about our marine. Make sure he doesn't have any skeletons in his closet. Count on you? Absolutely. All right, Percy and I are gonna head over to the hospital, talk to Jared's father. See if he can explain to us why he thinks his son was murdered. RUSS: I-I-I don't know why I said it was sabotage. I wasn't thinking straight. I was just upset, that's all. But, Mr. Connors, there has to be a reason you thought initially that it was sabo... I said I wasn't thinking. Okay? My son just died. PRIDE: Mr. Connors, I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you, but our job is to find out what happened to your son. You know that, right? Sure. Of course. Do you know of any reason why somebody might have wanted to hurt Jared? I-I don't know. What about you, Ms. Wells? Did you see anything suspicious? (sighs) No. (clears throat) We were just chasing each other around the track, you know, messing around. Jared was showing me how to race. So it was your first time. I've been in racecars before. I'm the advance coordinator for Warbury Racing. We're in town this week for the race. You two work for the same team? Yeah, about a year now, yeah. That's how I met Jared. We've been dating ever since. Was he a good driver? He was great. RUSS: Well, he's been racing his whole life. All the way back to go-carts. He was gonna turn pro after his discharge. Possible it was mechanical failure? No, no, no, we built that car ourselves. Check it out head to toe every time we took it out. Then I have to ask, was Jared upset about anything? Depressed? No, he didn't crash on purpose, if that's what you're implying. SONJA: Okay, so... Sorry. If it wasn't intentional, and it wasn't driver or mechanical error, what caused the crash? I don't know! Well, they're obviously hiding something. The question is, what and why? Either they're complicit, which based on how they were both defending Jared, it's hard to believe, or... They're too scared to talk for some reason. Yeah. Which means we're gonna have to figure out the truth, with or without their help for now. Loretta's got autopsy results. I'll see what she's found. Maybe you should catch up with Christopher, go through Jared's house, see if you can find any leads. I don't suppose we could ask Gregorio to pitch in temporarily, seeing as though we're spread pretty thin. No, I wouldn't count on it. Gregorio's helping the U.S. attorney build an indictment against Garcia. It won't be long before she's heading home. Best let her be. Come on. We've got things to learn. A prelim tox screen was negative for any anomalies, so unless you come up with something else, I'm ruling his death as accidental. You brought me all the way out here just to tell me that? No. Because I don't think it was an accident, mainly because of this. Apparently, your marine was stabbed, and based on the granulation tissue and the degree of healing, I'd say this happened three or four days ago. He stitch himself up? Appears so. Should've gone to the hospital. It's a pretty deep wound, but he didn't go. That means he didn't want the authorities to find out who stabbed him. And if this attack is somehow connected to the crash that killed him, then... Like I said, it's not an accident. Everybody's hiding something about this case. Apparently, even Jared. (chuckles) That seems to be going around. Loretta... I'm sorry. But I wasn't hiding anything from you. I assumed that Sebastian came to you before he came to me. Truth is, I'd offered the position to Gregorio first. And she turned you down? Wasn't the right fit for her, I guess. So when Sebastian surprised me, said he wanted to become an agent, I... Dwayne, I'm not mad at you or Sebastian. I always knew he'd come out of his shell sooner or later. The truth is, I think you need to worry more about Sebastian driving you crazy in the field, if I were you. (laughs) Good possibility of that. Come on, go. You got your hands full. You don't have to worry about me, too. I always got time for that, Loretta. (sighs) There must be over $100,000 in here, huh? That's a lot of cash for a corporal that barely clears 30 thou a year. You think it's dirty? It's gotta be, right? I mean, why else would Jared hide this much cash in his garage? Plus, where'd he get it? Maybe he stole it from a bank. This looks like a dye pack went off. Hmm, apparently our marine isn't as squeaky-clean as he seems. Well, only way to find out is to figure out where the cash came from. FBI specializes in bank robberies. Maybe I'll send Gregorio the serial numbers, see if she can trace 'em. Gregorio? Aren't we supposed to leave her alone? It's just a quick check. It won't take her a minute. Yeah, uh-huh. (imitating): Uh-huh. (chuckles) Lasalle, you know these people? Melody, what are you doing here? I'm sorry, Chris, I told him not to come, but... Who are you? (grunts) Hey! The baby's father! That's who I am! Stay the hell away from my son! (struggling) Bend your arms now! Son of a bitch! Melody, talk to me. Is he telling the truth? Is Tucker not my son? You gotta believe me, I never meant to hurt you. What is that supposed to mean? Why did you lie to me? (struggling) I'm so sorry. Melody! Look, put him in interrogation until NOPD comes. Let him go. Do what? Look, I said just let him go, damn it. I probably would have done the same thing if I were him. Lasalle... Look, just do it! Stay the hell away from my kid. Get out of here before I change my mind. PRIDE: You believe him? I don't know what to believe. Melody did seem pretty clear about it, though. I mean, she kept saying she was sorry. I mean, how could she do it, King? Bring a little boy into my life and tell me I'm his father... when I'm not? I don't know, Chris. Something you gotta ask her. Well, it won't change anything, so what's the point? The point is, you deserve to know. It doesn't matter, all right, it is what it is. Christopher. It's not something you can pretend didn't happen. It's bad enough you let the guy go. It wasn't a big deal. Assaulting a federal officer is always a big deal, and you know it. The fact that you didn't arrest him tells me you're not thinking straight. Look, don't worry about me, King. All right? I'm fine. Let's just get back to work. Sorry to interrupt, but we just got a lead on the stolen money. Yeah, I'm on it. I don't see anything. Where's the lead? Well, it's actually not my lead, so... Took you long enough, Percy. I don't exactly have all day. Yeah, sorry, something came up. You called Gregorio. E-mailed. And it was just some serial numbers, so this was all her choice. It's not a big deal, Pride. Well, actually it is. The bills came from a bank robbery in Biloxi, Mississippi, six weeks ago. A teller slipped a dye pack into the money before the robbers took off. Seems that makes our marine a bank robber. Doesn't explain why Jared was stabbed or who'd want to kill him. How many robbers in Biloxi? Witnesses said there were four, including a getaway driver, heavily armed, too. SONJA: So, robbers turning against each other? What's going on? Oh, hey, Hannah. Agent Pride. LEE: This is about the cartel case, I hope? Gotta go. Bye. Whoa. I hope we didn't get her in trouble. Uh, not "we," you. It was just an e-mail. Anyway, it got us a lead, didn't it? Yeah, and possibly Gregorio fired. I know how we all feel about Gregorio, but we gotta learn to work without her again, okay? Okay. Starting with figuring out how, exactly, Jared's connected to the bank robbery. Well, it may be what his father and girlfriend were hiding. I mean, Dana seemed really nervous. Let's have another chat with them. Only separately this time. Looks like Sebastian's found something on the car. I'll check it out. Is he okay? Don't know. SEBASTIAN (grunts): Little help, please? Ah, thank you. Man, I am sore. It's gotta be all that ab work I've been doing prepping for NCIS training, you know? Whoa. You care to turn that off, please? What? Oh, right. Sorry. So what about this beauty? Uh, I went over what's left of the car with a fine-tooth comb. I didn't find any evidence of a mechanical problem or even sabotage. But? But... when I ran a full diagnostic on the car's controller area network-- that's, like, the brain. Pretty much controls everything in the car these days. The CAN, I know. It's a computer? Right, and just like any computer, it can be upgraded with new software but it can also be hacked-- made to do whatever the hacker wants it to do. Like accelerate instead of brake? Yeah, in this case, exactly. Somebody overrode the accelerator module wirelessly. Told it to keep going faster. If done at the right time, there's nothing a driver can do. And the right time is just as Jared entered the turn, which means he was definitely murdered. Yeah, it also means that whoever did this knows exactly what they're doing. No, what is she doing? Why, what's up? Never mind. But I gotta go. Hey, fill in Pride on what you found out, all right? Uh... okey-dokey. TRACK ANNOUNCER: And that's Scott Hamilton... DANA: I wish I could help you, I do, but I don't know how. PRIDE: Yes, you do, Dana. There's no way you're Jared's girlfriend and didn't know something. Dana, your boyfriend was murdered. Doesn't that matter to you? Of course it does, but I'm not gonna... Dana! We just found out we lost our qualifying slot. We don't qualify, we don't race. Believe me, guys, I'm working on it, okay? The racing committee assumed we weren't racing because of what happened to Jared. If we don't race, we don't get points. Look, I know this is a hard time for you, but... Don't worry, I'm on it! Harrison, Cal, these are federal agents. They're investigating the crash. Investigating what? I thought it was an accident. Yeah, we're not so sure. Go, get ready. I'll get us a slot. Sorry, I gotta get back to work, guys. Whoa. No, not until you tell us what you and Jared's father are hiding. We know Jared was stabbed. We know he had over $100,000 of stolen money in his garage, and we know there's no way that you didn't know something about this. And this does not look good for Jared right now, Dana. If you care about him, you'll help us. I wish I could. If you're scared for some reason, we can protect you. But if we find out you're withholding anything, we have to arrest you. I have to go. Please. (cell phone beeps) That must be one hell of a secret. Yeah. A text from Sebastian. It says that Christopher wanted him to tell us that Jared was definitely murdered. So where's Chris? Good question. Hey, Christopher. So you just send me a text and then leave? I don't want to bother you any more than I already have. Bother me? (chuckles) Is that what you call what you did? Oh, Chris, I'm so sorry. I-I shouldn't have done it. Look, I don't understand. I took you in, I tried to do the right thing, believed Tucker was mine. Why did you lie about it? I guess I was just desperate. You know, to get away from Darrell, to try and find a good daddy for Tucker, I... Get away from Darrell? What, did... did he try to hurt you or something? (sighs) Let's just... no. Melody, you gotta talk to me. What's going on? Darrell has a temper, and I was afraid. Not just... not just for me but for Tucker. I tried to get a restraining order against him, but they said I had to wait until something bad happened. And I was afraid, and I just-- I didn't know what to do. I never meant to hurt you. Okay. It's okay. Yeah? Don't worry about Darrell. He's not gonna hurt either one of you. First his accountant said that he was laundering drug money through high-cash businesses. Restaurants are big down here, right? Huge. Kind of resisted them at first. As you know, I'm not much of a foodie. What, now you are? As a matter of fact, I am. When in Rome, right? Well, maybe you can help us narrow down which restaurants are prime candidates. Okay. What do we got? (computer blips) How about this... Pat O'Brien's? Pat O's? No way they're cartel. They've been in the Quarter for decades. Make a killer hurricane cocktail that'll... You should try one. I'm not here for the cocktails, T. Okay. Let's just get Garcia and get back home. (computer blips) I'm not sure I want to go back home. Sorry? I'm just saying I'm not sure. Ten years ago, you couldn't get far enough away from this place fast enough, and now you like it? I don't understand, Tammy. This cartel case is your big shot. Isler moves up, you move up. It's... everything you've always said you wanted. Isn't that why we broke up? This isn't about me and you, Hannah. This is just about me. (scoffs) Still, when you say you don't want to be in a relationship because you want to focus on your career... And that's the way I felt at the time. Look, I love what we had together, you know that. But, you also know I was running when I got to D.C. I didn't know who I was. Keep digging into Garcia, let me know if you find anything. Hannah... (sighs) (computer beeps) Whoa. (beeps) Pride, call me back. I think I just got a big break on your case. Had FBI's Robbery Task Force see if there were any other robberies that matched the MOs of the one in Mississippi: bank in Orlando, one in Mobile, armored car in Atlanta. All involved three masked gunmen with assault weapons and a getaway driver. That pretty much matches most bank robberies these days. Right. But what if I told you each one also happened to take place in the exact same city as a car race? PRIDE: Huh. Suggesting that the heist crew is connected to the racing circuit. Too much of a coincidence for it not to be. I mean, whoever hacked Jared's car obviously knew racecars inside and out. Yeah, except Jared's a marine, not part of the circuit, so why hack his car? That, I don't know. Just curious, how'd you even know Jared's car was hacked? Well, don't look at me. I left her alone like you said. I still have my NCIS computer access. Figured I'd keep tabs on you, you know, in case something popped up. 'Cause she misses us. PATTON: Agent Gregorio! Hey! Good to see you. You, too. Let's pretend you didn't. I have to get back to the Garcia case before I don't have a case to get back to. Good luck! I thought she hated beignets. She does. So, we got four robberies, all connected to the racing circuit, marked money in Jared's garage. Neither Russ or Dana are talking. Hard not to think that they're the bank robbers. Yeah, except Dana seemed more scared than guilty. Check Jared's leave record. See where he was on each of the robberies. Copy that. Hey, you might want to check, see if any of 'em are cyber geeks. I dove into the specifics of how they manipulated that car crash. Whoever did it, they are good. I'm talking Mensa hacker level good. Yeah, but... it wasn't Jared. According to the marines, he was TDY on three of the four robberies. So he couldn't have been a part of the crew. Maybe he found out about it and tried to do the right thing and got killed before he could. Still doesn't explain why he got stabbed or why Dana was too scared to talk. Maybe we ought to take another run at the father now? This time with a warrant. (keys jingle) Let's bring him in. Deep-dive every team that competed in those races, Patton. Especially Dana's. I'm hoping that a hacker can find a fellow hacker. (chuckles) Come on, man. That's what I'm all about. That's why I do what I do. Well, go do it. Come on, Christopher. Where the hell are you? (line ringing) (phone ringing) (door closes in distance) (phone continues ringing) (sighs) (beeps) (train passing) Hey. What the hell are you doing here? I come here to give you a friendly warning. Stay away from Tucker and his mom. You understand? (laughing): What? Get out of here, right... But I don't think you heard me. Look, I may not be Tucker's dad, but I'm not gonna let anything happen to him or his mom. So, if I were you, I would just... stay away. - Or what? - Well, trust me. You don't want to find out. You see, that's my boy and my woman. So, why don't you stay the hell away from them? (grunting) Ow! You're gonna bust my arm. (yells) Look, I'm not warning you again. You hear me? You stay away from them. MAN: Hey! What's going on? (shouts) (Darrell panting) ♪ ♪ (tires screeching) Your crew chief, Cal Vernon. Three priors for burglary. Your tech specialist, Nathan St. Clair, served time for hacking a DoD server, and two mechanics, you and Ansel Dane, also have priors. PRIDE: Half your team's got a record. Plus, we know Warbury Racing competed in four cities where four robberies took place. Mm... That don't mean nothing. (chuckles) Come on. Connors. Why do you keep protecting the people responsible for your son's murder? What kind of father does that? Y-You don't understand. Try us. Is this about Dana? Is that it? Jared loved her more than anything. And she loved him, too. He was gonna propose to her. What's that got to do with anything? It's got everything to do with it! Jared would do anything for Dana, and she knew it, too. That's why she wanted to straighten out her life, l-look for a way out. Dana was part of the heist crew. Yeah, but... but she wanted to quit. For Jared. Except they wouldn't let her. Who's they? The rest of the team? No, no, no. Not everyone was involved. I wasn't either. I didn't know about the robberies until Dana told me at the hospital. I swear. So, what was Dana's job on the crew? She was the getaway driver, but like I said, she wanted out, she threatened to come clean if they didn't let her go. So, what, they stabbed Jared to warn her? They found out that Dana was gonna tell him the truth about the heists. She convinced Jared not to go to the hospital, so he wouldn't get hurt worse. Dana couldn't tell Jared the truth, either. She just asked him to... to trust her. And the money in Jared's garage. It was her cut. She decided to tell... Jared the truth this weekend and... somehow they found out. Which is why they killed Jared. And they... and they threatened to kill her and, um... and me, too, if... if she tried anything else. That's why I was afraid to tell you the truth. They're vicious. Well, if he's telling the (phone ringing) truth, we need to find Dana and protect her. That's where we're headed. (groans) Christopher, where the hell have you been? I've been trying to get a hold of you for hours. I know, King, I'm sorry, and I'll explain it when I get in. Wait, wait, wait. Where are you? Are you anywhere near the track? Avondale, maybe five, ten minutes, why? Okay. I need you to head over there as fast as possible, take Dana Wells into protective custody. Arrest her if you have to, just get her out of there, and don't do it in front of any of her crew. I'll fill you in when you get here. You got it. (engine roars, tires screeching) ♪ ♪ Ms. Wells? Ms. Wells? (beeps) PRIDE: Yeah, Chris. King, I think we're too late. - What do you mean? - Looks like Dana's been taken. Track surveillance camera has a pretty wide angle, but those are our guys forcing Dana into that black Charger. Add the car to the bolos. LASALLE: Nobody's seen Vernon, Dane, or St. Clair since this morning. Didn't even show up to pre-check for today's race. They must know that we're onto them. Yeah. And if so, Dana could already be dead. PATTON: Maybe not. I hit Dana's e-mails and text messages with some Triple P-grade hacking of my own. Turns out, she's not just the advance coordinator for the races, she's the advance planner for the robberies. Well, it makes sense. Advance coordinators go to the next town a week ahead of each race. That's plenty of time to prep for the next heist, and it's a perfect cover, too. PATTON: And that text indicates that they're planning a hit today, in our town. You know where? She left the location out of the digiverse. You think they took Dana to pull off one more heist? LASALLE: If they did, then they did it by force. Means figuring out where the heist is gonna go down might be our only chance to save her. Oh, we'll narrow down possible targets in the area. No. Percy and Patton can do that. Have Sebastian see if he can figure out what those schematics and blueprints go to. Well, what does that leave me? Let's talk. I know, King, I messed up. You did more than that, Christopher. Bad enough you went M.I.A. in the middle of a case... and that can't ever happen again, understand? It won't, but... NOPD called, said Darrell filed assault charges against you. What? He swung at me first. Yeah, well, lucky they found a witness who said the same thing, but that doesn't explain what you were doing there in the first place. Look, Melody tried to get a restraining order on him, all right? Said she was worried for both her and Tucker. So, what, you thought you-you'd handle it yourself, threaten him? Well, I did what needed to be done. I've seen you go off-book... Not about me. This isn't you, Christopher. Maybe who you used to be, but this is not who you've become. Emotional situation, I get it, but you can't just go running off hotheaded to solve problems, not anymore. I know. I know. You got to think about what it is you want. You hoping to keep... Tucker in your life some way? I don't know. I know I want what's best for him. But there's one thing I can do and that's protect them from Darrell. Then figure out how to do that. There's a right way to handle this, Christopher. Find it. What about this financial manager, Simon Delaney? (phone ringing and buzzing) (cell phone beeps) Okay. Anything? Yeah, here it is. Simon Delaney. Apparently, he's also an officer of three other LLCs connected to Garcia. Which means three more possible drug-laundering companies. Is Garcia's name on the title? I'll have to find out, but if so... We might have enough for an indictment. Mm-hmm. There's a Special Agent Pride on the phone for you. Percy just called, too. Must be important. I'm sorry. I got to find out. Tammy... PRIDE: Wouldn't have bothered you, but we think somebody's life may be at stake. Hoping FBI resources can help. Of course, what do you need? Well, you were right about the racing circuit. We've IDed the heist crew and we think another robbery may be imminent. Yeah, Patton got blueprints and schematics, but the best we can figure out is that it's a road map to certain IP addresses. Specifically, the ones that relate to high-tech communication systems made by Arsenal Protection. Apparently, they install them in armored trucks to allow continuous monitoring from security HQ. You know, the problem is, we can't figure out which banks contracted with Arsenal for the system. Hoped Bank Robbery Task Force database might have that information. Let me see. Checked all local banks-- no issues and they're all closed for the day now. Yeah, and all the armored trucks are in and accounted for. Look, we're... running out of options. Did you check Federal Reserve trucks? The Reserve? No way these guys are crazy enough to go after the feds, are they? Drive. Patton still tracking the armored truck? SONJA: They haven't hacked into it yet. The truck's still moving. Half mile ahead. When is backup arriving? Crew could be monitoring police communications. Too risky to call, especially for Dana. Cut over to Magnolia, we'll box them in. (tires squeal) (tires screech) Heads up! I think we're being followed. Call it in. What're you doing? Wasn't me. The truck just shut down. (tires screech) Move and you're dead. Locks! Now! Come on! Take it, take it easy. - Move it! - Okay, okay, all right, all right. Get the money! (tires screech) (shouts) Go, go, go! NCIS! I got this. Go get Dana. (siren wailing) (tires squeal) Wait, i-is she signaling us? She wants us to cut around. Why? One way to find out. Hang on. (tires screeching) CAL: What are they doing? (tires screeching) (Cal shouts) (Cal grunts) (Cal grunts) Federal agents! Hands up! Get out the car! LASALLE: You okay, Dana? Yeah, I think so. Nice driving. You, too. (grunts) Can't guarantee Dana won't spend some time behind bars, Mr. Connors. I mean, after all, she was complicit until she wasn't. Yeah, I know. But I spoke to the federal prosecutors, told them everything she did to help us bring down the crew. Plus, she's cooperating, so I'm hopeful. At least one way or the other, she's out from underneath it... finally... and safe. That's all I wanted. That's all Jared would've wanted. Take care. Yeah. (clears throat) Poor dude. He's been through a lot. Gonna go through a lot more, too. Losing a child, nothing harder. Sort of know how he feels. Still... we did a lot of good... especially considering we're down a man. I'm proud of you. Yeah, but I didn't feel like we were down a man, though, the way everybody was pitching in. It was kind of cool. Didn't get Gregorio fired, either. As far as we know. (Lasalle laughs) Well, we'll finally get back up to speed once Sebastian gets through training. In the meantime... let's take the day off. Now, that works for me. (chuckles) Man, I can just hear that firing range calling my name. (chuckling): Geez. What about you? I think you know. Hey. Think we have enough for an indictment? I'll let you know when I get back, but I doubt it. We are still looking for the smoking gun to directly link Garcia to NOLA businesses. New Orleans. New Orleans. You really have changed since you've been down here, haven't you? How so? You seem happier... which is a good thing. Not for us, maybe, but for you, definitely. Maybe... you finally have stopped running. I think so. Still, what are you gonna do for work? NCIS slot's already filled. I don't know. I was thinking I'd try talking Isler into transferring me here. (both chuckle) Good luck. Isler needs you. He's not gonna let you go that easily. Yeah, well, if he doesn't, I'm screwed. (sighs) Well good luck. (sighs) What-what are the police doing here? Oh, it's no big deal-- they're just here in case Darrell shows up before you leave. But how does he know that we're leaving? Oh, a little birdie might've told him. What? Look, Melody... you don't have to worry about him anymore, I promise. Why, what are you gonna do? What needs to be done. (engine roaring) All right, you stay here. You put Tucker in the car. I'll be right back, all right? What's going on, huh? They're arresting you, Darrell. Hey, what're you doing? Get off me. LASALLE: I did a background search. You got outstanding warrants in Texas. That, plus assaulting a federal officer, you'll be going away for a long time. (grunting) Settle down, hands behind your back! This ain't right, okay? You can't do this to me. Already did. I told you to stay away from them and I meant it. Now, go on, get him out of here. I don't know what to say. There's nothing to say. You came to me for help, right? It may not have turned out the way either of us wanted it to, but... it's how it turned out and it's all right. I do... and besides... I got to imagine myself being a daddy. (chuckles) I like how it feels. Thank you. Thank you. (kisses) Bye-bye. == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man Man: Why did they stay at a BB? Woman: It was a nice BB. I thought the mission was that he had to get to Fort Lauderdale to get his job back in a blaze of glory. Yeah, but the wife didn't know that. She likes BBs. It was a really nice BB. What kind of people would stay at a place run by a pedophile? Plot twist... they didn't know that. That Russian girl was 16. Yeah, but they assumed that the old guy was interested in the mom. Are you almost done with him? I want my turn. Yeah. I'm about halfway through. ♪ ♪ He's my brother she's my sister: another drink ♪ ♪ She's looking pretty now ♪ ♪ My feet, they stumble, will I be falling down? ♪ ♪ All of a sudden ♪ ♪ I feel like talking to everyone ♪ ♪ But tell me when did my anxieties all go ♪ ♪ Am I a fool? I do not care or know ♪ ♪ You see, I'm just a product of... ♪ [Fire alarm beeping] [Groans] Damn it. Ah-ha! - [Beeping stops, magazine thuds] - God. I've got such a headache. That makes two of us. The only thing helping me is this sweet tea. - I swear I'm addicted to it. - My lord! [Chuckles] What... what is happening in here? We wanted to say "thank you," so we cooked for you. [Laughs] And at what ungodly temperature did we cook these eggs? Um, the temperature you cook eggs at... high. Ah, yeah, really hot. [Chuckles] Yes, well, that is not cooking, Nate. That is an egg-secution. [Chuckles] - Hey, before we leave... - Yes? - I wanna give you something. - No. Yes, please. I recently became ordained. Weird story. Um, and I wanna be the one to marry you guys. - Wait. What? ! - Yeah, what? Yeah. I think this is why I became a minister. No, you became a minister to piss off that dude at the restaurant. [Laughs] Oh, my Sweet Lord thundering Jesus! Yeah, before you start crying there, Rob, we don't have time for a wedding. All I have to do is sign a piece of paper. W-would you have time for a little ceremony? God, no. It would mean the world to my little lady. Ew! Please, we'd be hitched by noon, I swear. - Okay. I'd be... I'd be honored to. - [Laughing] Oh, my lord! Oh! Mwah! Mwah! Oh! - Yeah, just... uh, no, no. - Mwah! Oh! Mwah! [Chuckles] Wait till I tell the ladies. - Okay, noon. Noon. - Oh, ladies? Ladies! What the hell? What's that about? I just wanna give them what we have. What we have is 500 miles to drive. Yeah, but we came and we disrupted their lives, and I just feel like we owe them something. Yeah, we actually do... $230 for a night's stay. Or how about you can support me on this? I think it's disgusting. Whoa! What? The two of them together is just gross! It should be illegal! All right, I'm done with this. - Come with me. - Dad, help me on this! I'm not gonna help you, you little bigot. Let me show you something. See that crazy old man right there? - He comes here every day... - Hey! To protest the love in this house. Yeah, and he's right. Certain people just don't belong together. - Hold on. - What? I hope this is the fever talking. This lack of compassion and tolerance is very disappointing. - That is not the little girl I raised. - You guys are disgusting. What was that? I told you, we should've had more Jewish friends. [Whispers] You never told me that. Yeah, you suck! We're friends of the Jewish people! - We don't have any. - We've got a couple. No, not one. Nick is half Jewish. Who's Nick? Man: ♪ Somewhere behind the mountains ♪ ♪ There is a place I figured out... ♪ [Music warps, rewinds] [Whirring sound] Vanessa, hey, it's Nate. I need to... oh, shit, this guy is rich. Hey, uh, uh, I need to know if you sent that product, okay? It's very important you call me, so pull your head out of that big mound of coke and... - [Beeps] - Hold on a sec. I think this is you. Hello? - [Laughing] - Hello? Vanessa? So you still coming down to Fort Lauderdale, - huh, you dipshit? - Uh, Gene? G-Gene? Uh, no, I'm not coming to Fort Lauderdale. Why would you think that? What? [Chuckles] Because you're still using the corporate credit card, you dummy. Listen, Nate, I don't know why you're doing this. I don't know if you're trying to embarrass me. I don't know if you're trying to sell this product to another company. Hey, man, I thought you cared about this company. [Laughter] Of course I care. What are you talking about, man? - I care more than anyone else. - Shh. I put so much on the line for this! I lied to my wife, I lied to my family - because I care so goddamn much. - [Laughter] I told you he would cry, right? You girls owe me shots, shots, shots. - Am I on speakerphone? - Oh, yeah. Me and the ladies, - we needed a new drinking game. - [Laughter] So, uh, listen, I'll let you go. You drive safe, sweetheart. [Laughter] No, you listen to me, sweetheart, okay? I am coming to Fort Lauderdale, and when I get there, I am gonna find you and I am going to [Bleep] you so [Bleep] hard, you... Mmm. I knew you were a bad guy. This is where I come to be bad. I'm a good guy. [Chuckles] Ah. Good guy, bad guy, it's all perception. Me? I say I'm just a woman. You say I'm exceptional woman. - I never said that. - Yes, you do. I see how you look. No, I look. I don't say that. Yeah, but, you know, in my village, I'm just average woman. Like fourth most attractive sister in family. Bullshit. Don't buy that story for a second. Okay? Yeah. You are, objectively, the most attractive woman in every village. [Clicks tongue] Aw. There are no absolutes. No, there are absolutely absolutes, okay? Vinyl? Absolutely overrated. Dr. Rob? Absolutely super-duper rich. Yes. And absolutely the best car in this garage? - Lime green 'cuda. - This American shit? Point is, I'm a good guy. Oh, no, you're a bad guy, sweetheart. But... I keep your secret. [Singsongy] Bad guy. There's no secrets. See you later, bad guy. Bad guys don't turn that down. Okay? [Under breath] Jesus Christ. What are you doing? Watching my girlfriend. I got some bad news. Your girlfriend's marrying that creepy old dude. That's just her Dad. - She was kissing him. - You kiss Dad. Not like that. ♪ [Candy rattles, bowls thuds] I cannot tell you how excited my baby is right now. So I'm not familiar with Jewish weddings. Is there anything special? A request you might have? We are far from traditionalists down here, Robin. Just speak from the h... oh. Dagnabbit. - Oh. - Oh, god. More protestors? Guess some folks from the church must've gotten wind of the festivities. I'm still so shocked that that kind of anti-semitism exists down here. Yes, well, it may not be just the Jewish thing. Yeah, but still, they're just backwards, pigheaded philistines. Some people have taken issue with our age difference. Well, she could be younger. I mean, hey. [Chuckles] Yes, well, legally, I suppose she could, but I couldn't very well push her down the aisle in a stroller. [Laughs loudly] Still, even my late wife... she came to me in a dream last night, - told me, "it ain't right." - Listen to me. Your dead ghost wife is wrong. If you've been lucky enough to find love... I have. You have, so nothing should stop you from grabbing onto it and holding onto it forever. - [Chuckles] Oh! - Uh-oh. They're unloading the hate bus. Protestors: [Chanting] Not in our town! Not in our town! The racists down here are really organized. This makes me really, really angry. They're gonna ruin everything. Nate, go get rid of them. No, no, no. Deep breath. Just ignore them. I've learned to rise above the bigotry. Well, guess what, pal? I haven't. ♪ 'Cause I'm a good guy. Is he smoking a pipe? - Man: Get those signs up. - Bring it right back, Pedro. Man: You wanna make god happy? Bigots. I hate bigots. Man: We don't approve! - Hey! Hey! - [Shouting indistinctly] Get outta here! We're having a wedding! Not if we have anything to say about it. Oh, yeah? ! - That's right. - Get outta here! Get outta here! [Woman screams] Let Carl and his young, beautiful child through! - Man: Why don't you stop doing that? ! - Come on, Carl! - Get away from them! - Carl: Get away from the clown car... - Nate: It's gonna be okay, sweetheart. - You asshole! She shouldn't have to bear witness to your hate! You like that? ! It's the hose of justice! - The hose of just... oh. - [Stops spraying] Well, obviously, I'm not gonna spray you. How can you defend him? He's a pediatrician, for god sakes. We trusted him with our children. Yeah, so did I, and he's got a very gentle hand. Don't use us as propaganda! What are you guys doing over there? Get in here. - We're on the right side! - No, you're not! Fine, you're gonna have to spray... Dad, I can't believe you sprayed... aah! Protestors: Ohh! Aah! Get in here and get changed for the wedding. What the hell? ! Seriously! Aah! We've got you on camera. You're gonna regret this. Really? Regret standing up against your ignorant prejudice? Yeah, go ahead. Tape me. Uh, my name is Nate Parker, and I stand for true love. Put that on your Facebook pages. I just did. Aah! - Dad! - Aah! Get in! [Accordion playing] Although I've only officially been a minister for two days, I feel like everything happens for a reason. And I'm so honored to stand here for love because love is right. Thank you for that. Congratulations. [Plays Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" from "Lohengrin"] - Aw. - Oh. ♪ [Speaks Russian] [Kisses] Oh. ♪ [Sighs contentedly] ♪ Is this a Jewish custom? - [Accordion stops] - Oh! ♪ Whoo! My, my. [Clears throat] - [Laughter] - Reverend Robin, the floor is... All yours. [Chuckles] Holy shit. I don't think I can marry you. Well, I don't wanna marry you. I-I wanna marry her. - [Men laugh] - Man: Hey, good one, Rob. I-I can't do this 'cause she's 16. That's right. The numerical inversion of my 61. According to the ancient laws of Jewish mysticism, we complete each other. Gross. Nate? Do you wanna say something? [Lowered voice] I'm so sorry I sprayed you. Whoa, now... now... now I'm an intuitive man. I'm starting to get the idea that you two don't approve of this union. Now whatever happened to, and I quote, "What is wrong with these backwards, pigheaded philistines?" Oh, no, that's when I thought she was Jewish. Oksana: She is Jewish. What got to do with it? You are anti-semite? No! I... hold... well, hold on. Is this even legal? Well, of course it's legal. Man: Gentlemen! Gentlemen! _ [Gavel banging] [Men shout indistinctly] _ We have been debating this for far too long! How old must a maid or a woman child be to enter the bonds of matrimony? - [Men shout indistinctly] - 13! - 12! - 10! - [Gavel banging] - 7! Why even even put a number on it? Because the federal elitists are suggesting 18. - [Men shout indistinctly] - No! It's our choice! - That's why I am proposing 16. - No! It's too old! They call it lucky 7 for a reason! Man: 14 with father's consent! _ Well, y'all oughta get some perspective. Why, in Uzbekistan, girls get married at the first hint of a menstrual cycle. Ew! [Lowered voice] If he comes at you, punch to the throat, swift kick to the balls, okay? - This doesn't feel right. - But it is right. Your ex-wife... she haunts you. Even she thinks this is wrong. Oh, grow up, Robin. There's no such thing as ghosts. Nate, can you please help me? Technically... He's right. - What? - Yes. I... but you're also right. It feels... Very wrong. - Yeah. - But that is not for you to judge. You know, if... if he wants to do this... I do. And she, for some reason, wants to do this... - Yes, please. - Nate: And she approves... - Yes, of course. - Then... Well, it sounds like we just completed our vows. Robin, let's make this official. Somebody please object. I object! Because I love her! - [Speaks Russian] - I know so much about you! I know you like snack chips. I like snack chips! You're a side sleeper. I'm a side sleeper, right? You read a magazine on the potty. I read my phone on the potty! Whoa. Sounds like somebody made an unauthorized access into the eagle's nest. Oh, now hush. Security system. It's my walls, my rules. Mom, Dad, can she come with us? ! - Oh. - Leave this old dirtbag. Come with me! [Speaks Russian] ... Dirtbag. He wrestle bear. - Okay, well, about that... - N-Nate! Now don't you dare! - I'd like to say something. - Nate. - No. - Nate. [Speaks Russian] It wasn't so much a real bear as it was just... You use creepy friend's suit? [Giggles] You... you hold me up to impossible standards! Putin kill bear with bare hands! Oh, with your Russian propaganda! Svetlana, please, now don't be such a child. [Crying] No, that's the point. She is... she is a child! - That's the whole point! - Go get her. I-I'm going! Nuh-unh, pal. - Whoa! Now, now, now, now, now. - Son, son, son. - Easy. - Put down that hose... - Easy. - Young man. - What are you doing? - Dr. Rob: Think before you act. - No. - This cannot be undone. - Put it down. Put it down. Put it down. - You are aiming that. Damn it! Give it to me! Give it to me! Let go! Uhh! You are a repugnant little boy! Hey, do not talk to my son that way. ♪ You are guests... this is my wedding, for god's sake! I can do this all day, pal. ♪ Oh, I don't know, Nate. We can't just leave her in the grizzled hands of a predator. - Well, we can't take her either. - Why not? Because that would be abducting her. I know, but she's just a child, Nate. Mm-hmm, and that's called child abduction, which is a crime, unlike what they're doing. So you're just gonna side with him? I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do! You think you're saving her from beautiful life as wife of rich doctor, followed by even better life as widow of rich doctor with no heirs? Well, there has to be more to marriage than money. - You think she gold digger? - No, I think you gold digger. Look at you with your bracelets and that ring. That ring. I need you to tell me what he said. I want you to leave now. Please, Mr Lee! I'm his mother! Get out! You coward! Mrs McCarthy, what a lovely hat. It makes you look like royalty. If only! Mrs McCarthy... have you heard of a new restaurant in Cheltenham called Gerard's Brasserie? I was wondering if you'd care to join me there tomorrow lunchtime. Well, I have a WI meeting. The speaker runs a cattery in Painswick. Well, surely the WI can do without you for one day. No, I don't think I will. But thank you for the invitation all the same. Ladies and Gentlemen. Henry and I would like to thank you all very much for coming, and Lady Felicia, of course, for all your kindness. 25 years sounds a lot. Some of you will know it's not been our easiest year but we've stuck though it, together, like we always have. And, well, I think that's the secret of a happy marriage, really. So thank you, and enjoy your evening. What about Edie? Red Lion, anyone? Ready to sweep all before you tomorrow, Mrs M? Tomorrow? Oh, you mean the flower show. That's just a bit of fun, isn't it? Now, what can I do for you? About George... You can save your breath. You clearly put him up to that little stunt. Mrs M, you've got it all wrong. He did come and see me but only because he was feeling nervous. He'd wanted to ask you out for lunch for a very long time. He seems a jolly decent chap, and I think he really likes you. Was there anything else? No. Only that Gerard's Brasserie is quite the place to be at the moment and the Dover sole is really rather good. Your Cosmos looks lovely, by the way. Edie. Tea's up! George. Mrs McCarthy, good morning. May I have a word? Yes, yes, of course. Let me just... Tea, Henry. Edie. Thank you. Right. You were absolutely right about the WI being able to cope without me, so I was just wondering if... the invitation still stands? Yes, yes, of course! Wonderful! May I offer you a celebratory cuppa? Yes, all right. A year ago we had Henry's hanging work and you were giving us weddings and funerals at St Mary's. Now we have nothing. I was just sharing out the work, Edie. You're not the only florist in the area. I think we both know what you're doing has got nothing to do with fairness. Look, if you promise to give us some more business, I won't enter the flower show. I think I can win the competition without your charity. Thank you, though. Please, Mrs McCarthy, we're on our knees here. Henry? Henry! Henry? Henry! Father. Hemlock? That's what the doctor thinks, going by Henry's symptoms and the smell. How extraordinary. Poor Henry didn't notice the odd taste and drank the whole cup. Probably because of his excesses last night. How long does the doctor think he has? Hours. A day at most. The Inspector is up with him now. Father. What a terrible shock for you both. Who could have done such a thing? Edie is quite understandably wondering whether it was me. I haven't said a word. No need to, Edie. I made the tea and no-one else touched it. If I was in your position, I would think it was me too. Padre, what a surprise! Good morning, Inspector Mallory. Last rites and a murder. It's Christmas come early for you, isn't it? Right, George, with apologies, I gather you made Henry's tea, so I'll have to take a statement. You know the drill. Yes, of course. And please search my house. You don't need a warrant, I've got nothing to hide. I don't doubt it. Thank you, though. Goodfellow. All yours, Padre. Henry, may I? I'm here to offer you confession and absolution. No. Thank you. As you wish. Have you any idea who did this to you? May I ask, was that your first cup of tea of the day? Yes. That woman at your party, Iris Lightman, and the cover-up she was talking about. I never met a mother who thought their child was guilty. But do you think she could have taken her frustration out on you? It's possible. Henry, while there is still time, I will do all that I can to find out who did this. I give you my word. Father. George. Please don't tell me he's dead. The Lord in his infinite compassion has given Henry more time to say his goodbyes. I've been praying for some kind of miracle. You get on well with Henry, don't you? When we met in the Red Lion a year ago, I was a typical ex-copper. Drunk, broken marriage, fast heading for a hole in the ground. Henry had just given up the hanging job, so he wasn't feeling too great himself. But he insisted he wanted to help me. He put a spade in my hand and introduced me to the joys of nature. The Good Samaritan, eh? George. Sorry about this but I'm going to have to bring you in. Why? My colleagues found hemlock in your house. George is no murderer. Well, it's not looking good for him. No, it isn't. What do you think, Father? Hemlock. Strange choice of poison. It paralyses the body slowly but leaves the mind untouched, which means it increases the chance the culprit will be identified. George would have known that there are much more clinical toxins. But if he was the only person to touch the teacup... Well, actually we're not sure that he was. It was Henry's first tea of the day. Ground hemlock is brown, Henry's teacup was brown. The powder could have been placed in his cup earlier that morning and George wouldn't have noticed. So in theory, anybody could have done it? I need to find Iris Lightman. Her anger when Henry refused to help her expose the "Max" character was palpable. What about Edie, with all her money worries? She's hasn't exactly been all sweetness and light, has she? What did happen to all that cash that Edie's father had? Vernon had money? Oh, yeah. He made an absolute fortune on the black market during the war. I had no idea. Sid, I've got a small job for you. I want you to find out who Vernon's solicitor was. Sidney, your nails are filthy. You know me, Mrs M, always happy to get my hands dirty. Ta-ta. He's helping Edie out in her garden. Sidney Carter in a garden! She needs all the help she can get. Which is why I've decided to enter best bouquet in the flower competition on her behalf. You? You're serious? Perfectly. A first prize could be very good publicity for her right now. First prize? I did flower arranging at finishing school. I doubt you've ever read Constance Spry. No, I have not, and neither has the Father. Fortunately, he and I are of one mind when it comes to the floral aesthetic. Well, we will see about that. Mrs Lightman! Mrs Lightman! Father Brown. From the party. Did you see Henry? I didn't get to see him. The police stopped me. But you knew he'd been poisoned? Two policemen woke me up this morning asking me if I'd been near his shed. You must have been very angry with Henry last night. Why on earth would I want to poison him? He can't help me clear Thomas if he's dead, can he? No. You mentioned being in prison? On the morning they hanged Thomas, I attacked a policeman. Oh. No, well, I wouldn't have expected someone like you to understand. Look, all I know about Henry Lee, all I care about, is that he was the last person to look into my son's eyes. Morning, Constable. Father. Shame to throw away such a handsome volume. "For Henry, "the greatest of hangmen, the greatest of men. Ever, Max." You didn't know that your friend Max was Vera Blanchett's killer until Iris told you last night. You came home and threw away his gift in disgust. Henry, I am only trying to get to the bottom of this. Max was a senior judge... ..at the Crown Court where Vera Blanchett was a secretary. He took his own life... ..not long after I hanged Thomas. Now I know why. George, this was found snagged on the shed where you made the tea. Got any ideas? Yeah. That woman that Henry had a spat with at the party last night. She was wearing a cardigan, same colour as that. Iris Lightman? Is that her name? Thank you, George. I'm sure we'll have you out of here very shortly. Of all the secretaries I know, Jean is definitely one of the most obliging. Interesting? I'm afraid so. All right. I did go to that flower garden this morning. I wanted to punish Henry Lee for not speaking up. Punish him how, Iris? By hitting him with a spade. A spade? Yes! But as I stood there in that garden shed, I realised it wasn't going to solve anything, was it? So I left. That's it? Yes. OK. So this is what really happened. You put hemlock in Henry's teacup and then set up George Hammond for the crime. I don't know any George Hammond. Come on, Iris, make this easier on yourself. Where would I get hemlock? How would I know which cup to put it in? It had an "H" on it! Somebody else's name might have started with the letter "H", mightn't it? That was a risk you were ready to take because you're that kind of person, Iris. You're only two days out of prison for maiming a policeman, for heaven's sake! This is what they did to my Thomas. You lot, you forced a confession out of him! Well, you'll not put any words in my mouth. Just looking for a picture of your father. There aren't any. Oh. Why? I know Vernon was a libertarian. I know he opposed your marriage to Henry. What's this about, Father? I understand your father left you a quite substantial sum, to be withheld until such time as Henry Lee was no longer your lawful husband. My father's money has nothing whatsoever to do with Henry, or me, or you! Mrs McCarthy? Good gracious! Anyone would think you were spying on those two. Why ever would I do that? I have no idea. I fear I may have found our culprit. Upon Henry Lee's death, it turns out that Edie is entitled to her father's not insubstantial inheritance. Inheritance? But that makes no sense. When Henry was about to drink that cup of tea, Edie was begging me to give her some business. She was almost in tears. Now, Edie Lee is a proud, proud woman. She'd never humiliate herself like that if what you say is true. I see. Oh, dear. That poor woman. Father? Yes? I have to confess that my feelings were very hurt last year at the flower show. Ah, yes. I am extremely sorry about that. No. No, not just by you. When I looked at Edie's flower arrangement, I realised mine would never be as good. And I think I've been punishing her for that ever since. That was very brave of you to say so. And God, I am sure, will forgive you. Thank you. Thank you, Father. Now, I'll see you back at St Mary's. I just pray to God we're not too late. Me too, George. Father? Good Afternoon, Lady Felicia! Good work, Sid! George! Father. How are you, Henry? Mr Lee, the good news is we've got your man. Well, woman. It turns out Iris Lightman did this to you. Popped into your shed first thing yesterday and slipped hemlock in your teacup. The one thing I don't understand is why she's tried to fit up George here. I've never met the woman, Henry. Don't have any thoughts on it, do you? I saw her at the shed... ..this morning. She didn't put poison in my cup. Well, Mrs Lightman didn't mention meeting you. How come you've said nothing about it till now? It's the truth. That woman poisoned you, so why on earth would you want to cover for her? She didn't do it. Right. Fair enough. I'm done here, George. I'll stay here with Henry. No! Just leave me alone... all of you! Iris has motive, opportunity, previous, and what's more she's lied to us. We've easily got enough. You've met her, Father. Do you think she did it? No. But I don't know who did. Why is Henry behaving so strangely towards me? I don't know that either. But let him rest. Haven't you got an appointment this lunchtime? Mrs McCarthy, sorry I'm a bit late. But I thought you were... Inspector Mallory has arrested Iris Lightman. And as Henry wants to be left alone... The inspector's also arranged a car to drop us off in Cheltenham. Oh! Oh, they're beautiful! That is very... I'll just go and get myself ready. There's no need. You look delightful as you are. At least let me change my hat. And I'll just put these in water. Of course. Thank you. I can't remember the last time I was in such a fancy place. Neither can I, Mrs McCarthy. Bridget, please. Thank you. I'm very glad you changed your mind. Now, I hear the Dover sole is particularly nice. Ah, Sid. Father. Bon appetit. Well, I wouldn't want Mrs M's flan going to waste, what with her being otherwise engaged, you know. Oh! How lovely. "If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, "I could walk through my garden forever." Quite the poet, old George. No. That's Tennyson. Oh, dear. What? I fear Mrs McCarthy is having lunch with a murderer. You're kidding. Let's just pray she's careful what she says. All I know is, a man named Max murdered a girl called Vera. Well, anyway, that's what this Iris woman told Henry. George? Are you all right? Yes. Yes, I'm fine. Well, I'll just visit the powder room. Of course. You sure Mrs McCarthy's in danger? George may well have poisoned Henry to stop him revealing that he killed Vera Blanchett. And if George did that to Henry... Exactly. Oh, that looks lovely. I've taken the liberty of pouring you some wine. Oh! Why not? Here's to you, Bridget, and to Henry. Of course. To poor Henry. Oh, It's quite sharp. Maybe even a little bitter. Try the fish. Yes. Mrs McCarthy. What are you... George. What on earth is going on? ! I'm afraid there has been a fire at St Mary's. A fire! Now, the Fire Brigade have it under control, Mrs McCarthy, but I need you to go back with Sid and sort out a few things. But I haven't even started my dinner. I'm so sorry. But all things considered, I think we've had a lucky escape. Right. Shall we? The Rolls, Mrs M? Why didn't you just telephone the restaurant? The line was engaged. There isn't really a fire at St Mary's, is there? ) George is Max. Well, I think I had better get back, just, just in case... Good idea. I hope we can do this again, Bridget? Oh, yes! Of course! I'd like to eat this fish but I don't think it would be safe. I know you killed Vera Blanchett... ..and let an innocent boy swing for it. I don't know what you're talking about, Father. Your work took you to the Crown Court regularly. That's where you met Vera. She was young, impressionable. You were a Detective Sergeant. How could she refuse you? But she did. And that's when it went horribly, horribly wrong. I presume Max is your middle name? If you leave this restaurant I will call the police. Was it your idea to pin Vera's murder onto Thomas? It was my boss's idea, and his boss's. To protect their reputation and the "good name" of the police? But I did nothing to stop them! Did you poison Henry too? What? No! Surely he needed to be silenced. Thanks to Iris he knew that you were Vera's killer. But I only just found that out from Mrs McCarthy. Father, I have done some monstrous things in my time but believe me, I would never, ever harm Henry or Mrs McCarthy. Mm. In the time I have known you, I have always sensed you wanted to be a good man. Do you want what happened to Thomas to ever happen again? Of course not. Then go to Inspector Mallory, confess your crime and expose your superiors and the corrupt system that protected you. Father, I'm not sure that I'm brave enough. I think you are. God has given you the chance to salvage some greater good from your acts. I strongly suggest that you do the right thing. Afternoon, sir. Is the Inspector in? He is, sir, yes. Go straight through. Thank you. Oh, Sergeant, there's a man outside, he's behaving rather strangely. I think he must be drunk. Is there? Right. Thanks. I've got nothing more to say. Mrs Lightman? Who are you? I'm Max. I am so very sorry... ..for what I did to Vera and to your son. How did you get in here? I want to confess to the murder of Vera Blanchett... ..and to my role in a barbaric police cover-up. You what? I should have known it was too good to be true. Come now, Mrs McCarthy. Not every man who invites you out to lunch will turn out to be a murderer. And I didn't even get to taste the Dover sole. It is the merest of consolation, but I do believe that George is repentant about what he did to Vera and Thomas. And I suppose that's why he poisoned Henry as well. I'm not convinced it was him, actually. How can you even question it? His denial seemed sincere. And I don't believe he would have chosen hemlock. Nobody in their right mind would choose hemlock. Plato did. Or was that the other one? Socrates. Yes, him, exactly. Of course. Of course! And all because you stayed for a cup of tea. You are a genius, Mrs McCarthy. Socrates chose hemlock for his own execution, and so did you. What? Thomas Lightman showed you that the justice system you had given your life to was corrupt. Made you wonder how many other innocent people you had hanged. The shock made you give up your job, the Church and embrace the bottle. I suspect you were looking for life's exit door before you left your own party. But when Iris Lightman told you the name of the monster who had caused you all this grief, it was the final straw. And you had to know George very well to know that he was Max. And you did, didn't you, Henry? What is this? I'm afraid this is the truth. But you didn't want your suicide to be in vain, you wanted justice for Vera and Thomas. But the problem was, you didn't trust the police to deal with their own corruption. So you had to put George on the scaffold yourself. So you left traces of hemlock in George's house and kept the rest with you. Then when Mrs McCarthy came to the garden, you put it in your tea, knowing that she would confirm George had made it. George Hammond did this to me. That's what you want the police to believe. And that's why you protected Iris. Don't worry, Henry. As I speak, George is in the Police Station, confessing to the murder of Vera. You will get your justice. One question. When you heard the name Max, why were you certain that was George? Thomas told me that Vera was killed by a policeman. Will I go to hell for this, Father? Jesus commanded us not to judge. God will have the final judgment. But I tell you this... Not for one second has He left your side. I've just been on the phone to the Chief Constable. You're free to go. What? You can't do this. I'm just following orders. I'm not going. You know what I think, Detective Inspector? That a bent copper is worse than any criminal. That you should swing and heads should roll. But it's not me who decides, is it? It can be, if you want it to be. Look, I'll get Goodfellow to throw you out if I have to. Inspector Mallory, if you do not charge me with the murder of Vera Blanchett, then I will add your name to the list that I give to the newspapers of all the coppers involved in this sordid business. And as the roof of this constabulary comes crashing down, you too will be buried forever. Thank you. I'm sorry that I've ended up... ..bringing you down with me. At this moment I just want to come with you. No, Edie, you must stay and fight. Your father's money I want you to take it. What? No. Don't ask that. Please. Henry. Keeping our business alive... ..that will be... keeping us alive. Thank you. You are the best thing... that ever happened... ..in my life. Oh, Henry. Edie. "The stream will cease to flow. "The wind will cease to blow. "The clouds will cease to fleet. "The heart will cease to beat. "For all things must die." Henry chose hemlock. He wanted to say a proper goodbye to Edie. Come on, Sid, we've got a competition to win for Edie. The flower show! I forgot all about that. Lady Felicia? Yes, Mrs M? I was wondering if you might like one or two suggestions from me as to which flowers might catch Father Brown's eye? I thought you wanted to win the trophy for yourself? Yes, well, I've had a change of heart. Thank you. The winner! For Edie Lee. The grower of the best flowers in the whole of the Cotswolds! And next Monday, I will be hiring Edie as the florist for the Websters' wedding. Excellent. You look relieved, Father. That was the toughest yet. Thanks for the steer. Anything for a peaceful life, eh? Partners in crime. Who'd have thought it? You know what, when those two get together, they really are a deadly combination. Of course the real reason we won is because I knew exactly which blooms Father Brown favoured. What rot! If I hadn't been to finishing school, the whole thing would have been an unmitigated disaster! Excuse me, we're looking for the deli counter. Certainly. Turn left at Lighting and it's just past Ladies Wear. Nice one, ta. We should leave. People are giving us some pretty dirty looks. No, we fit right in, man! Sure, we might not be cash rich, but it's obvious we're classy guys. Here we go, the taster counter. Get stuck in, it's free. Yep, really classy. If you load up, you can taste a full meal. Can I help you, gentlemen? We're just browsing, thanks. And eating. I'm browsing with my mouth. Just having a little taste - try before you buy. And are you planning to buy that chicken leg? Probably not now, to be honest. We're sorry about this. No, we're not! This is totally legit. For all this guy knows, we could be mega-minted poshos in disguise. It would be a superb disguise. Cheers. Take us to the bed section, my good man. I want to try one of them. Mm-hm. Security! Agh. This chair is like a torture device. I've asked Flavia for one with back support so many times. At least you get a chair. I have to stand still all day. Think you could stand a bit stiller? Hard to score if you're jiggling. I don't want you to score! Come on! Getting balls in your jug is the only fun part of my day. Stop it! Calm down. I don't want them in my jug. Open your mouth, then. Give him something to aim at. I don't want your balls in my mouth! It might shut you up for once, water boy. Sorry. He's been trying to get balls in my jug all day. I don't care. Paper balls. Stop talking. Water man. Boys, I'd like to introduce you to Ramases, he's on work experience. Hey, guys. Cool office. I'm giving him a tour of the company, starting with the talking turds in the copy room and working up. We should press on before we catch worms. Could I stay and play the jug game for a bit, please? No, we're going to the grain store. Chop, chop! Have you thought about my request for a chair with back support? I have, and if the problem persists, I will take steps... It will - ..to hire a copier with a stronger back. Right. I'm sure I'll manage, then. Good-oh. It's so bloody demeaning. Even that gimpy work-experience kid is treated better than us. You can say that again. He's got a sedan chair, look! Hup! Oi, Ramases! It's Stylax and Marcus, the talking turds. Oh, hey, guys. Is this sedan chair yours? It's my dad's, actually. I sort of crashed my one taking it off-road. Holy shit! I know, it was really stupid and I've learned my lesson. My dad's one's way bigger, though, if you guys need a lift. All right. Who's the flat-top? This is Ramases. He's Egyptian. Oh, right, yeah. Them the ones with the pointy houses? Pyramids, yeah. Please, guys, you can call me Rambo. I said Rambo could join us for dinner tonight, eh, Grumio? Fine, yeah. There is no dinner. Right. First-class slaving. It's cool. I've got my dad's charge card for the Emporium if you wanna run and grab some stuff. Wicked. I mean, I'd rather not run but... So take the sedan, if you like. Yeah. I do like. Excuse me. No, no, no, not you again. Shoo! Hop it. I will not allow you to ravage our luxury foods. How about I buy 'em, then? Ptolemy Hachmenenet? Is the name of my master, yes. He sent me to fetch his scran. And I am absolutely delighted you chose us, sir. Pray tell what your master is craving and I will do my utmost to help. I thought you might. Well, he mainly likes meat. Lovely. Shall I fetch a basket? Get a trolley, I would. I thought I'd cover all the major food groups. So sorry about this, Rambo. It's cool, man, it's Dad's money. He won't even notice. You ever had mice? We have, but more as an infestation than a delicacy. So is Daddy properly loaded? Er...yeah, I guess so. He owns, like, a shipping company and a sawmill thing and a marble... whatever it's called - hole? Quarry? Yeah! And the grain company. The grain company that we work for? He owns that? Yeah. Well, I actually own it now. He kind of gave it to me. Boom! Well done, Rambo. Well, sort of. I'd much rather be working at the shipping place, to be honest. But I sort of burnt my boats there after the er...fire. So Dad moved me to grain, which is obviously super lame! But at least I met you guys. Nice mice. The spoilt brat has the whole company. When I was his age, I didn't even have pubes. Really? You said he was 16? Yeah, I was a late starter. The point is, this kid can force Flavia to get me a new chair. And fix the bogs, and oil that very squeaky door. And lower the price of grain. Er...yeah, maybe. I mean - People are starving, Marcus. I haven't eaten bread for weeks. I thought you were on a wheat-free diet? Not by choice, dickhead. I can't afford it. The grain companies are fucking us in the arse, and expecting us to swallow it. Yeah, that does sound bad. It's a disgrace, and a little more urgent than a squeaky door. You haven't heard it. It's like... Eee-whoo-whaaargh... But, yeah, ending starvation. I'll add that to the list. Salve, Grumio. All right, landlord. Obvious question - why are you licking a bag? Oh, yeah, I got in a load of posh nosh last night. The bag's still got salami juice on it. Lovely, lovely. Do you fancy a dab? No, I'll leave it for now, thanks. Oh, no, I've still got Rambo's card. Oh, yes! I've still got Rambo's chuffing card! Yep, my master will like that. Your master must be quite the foodie, sir. Oh, he's one of the foodiest fellas you'll ever meet. What else is good here, then? Now, we are famed for our seafood. You what? See food? What's 'see food'? Fruits de mer, sir - cockles, whelks, crabs, mussels... Them shiny pebbles? That's food, is it? They are something of a delicacy, sir. Well, bung 'em in the bag. And give me one of them pies with legs. No, no! Keep still! No, you're not even supposed to be in here. Two points for straight in? Wicked. And one point if it goes in off the backboard. Backboard? Do you mean me? What are we calling this game? How about... 'Get the ball in the jug'? Or 'Super juggy throw throw'? Or... Jugball? Yes, jugball! You're a genius! We should play every day. Make it company policy. Right, yeah! Brilliant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be brilliant. In fact, there are loads of cool changes you could make now you're in charge, Rambo. We could have - I dunno, comfy chairs, working toilets, non-squeak doors... What do you mean, 'in charge'? If you lower the price of grain, people will buy more. Whoa, steady on, Professor. I don't get any of that business-y shit. I said I'd leave all that to Flavia. He's just a dickless intern! Flavia is out of touch. She just sits in her office getting her nails done, while the staff get bad backs and blocked-up bogs. Sorry, Prof. I promised my dad I wouldn't rock the boat. I did that at the shipping company and three people drowned. I should just keep my head down. Sorry... Do you own the company? Big time. Right, well, in that case, I will keep my jug still. Sorry for calling you dickless. Yes, congratulations, boss! Great throw! From downtown for five points... Interception! Turnover. Interception? Since when? Just now. He shoots... He scores! That's eight-all. New ball, please, Prof. Uh-huh, coming up. We should make it doubles! Then we'd have someone to pass to and high-five! Yes, love it! Let's choose team-mates. Who's sporty here? Everyone, who's good at sport? No! Whatever it is that's happening out here, no! And why is water boy strapped to a column? Water man. But, yes, I completely agree. We're playing jugball. As I say, no. You're going to the Legal Department, where I put you. Come on, it's eight-all. I'm sorry that this massive grain company is getting in the way of your cretinous game, shredder. It's not cretinous, it's brilliant! And if you actually cared about this company, you'd give people squeakier chairs and lower the price of toilets or whatever. Right, guys? Yeah... Well, something like that. OK. Well, clearly, someone's a little bit tired. So let's go and get a nice glass of milk. I'm not tired! You're tired. You're tired and you're fired. Excuse me? You're firing me? That's right, Flave. It's time to make way for a guy who knows what's really needed here. Ha! You don't even know how to wipe your own bottom. Not me, the Professor. He's got ideas - big ones. Isn't that right, Prof? Damn right, Rambo. I see. In two days, you'll be begging me to come back. Yeah? In two days, you'll be begging us for change! On the streets! Yes, Prof! Rinser! Right, let's go jugball. Everyone has to watch. Now, that's a good chair. Me tooth's all hurty. It's one of my best ones and all. Maybe it's a wisdom tooth. Unlikely Grumio'd have any of them. Why are you dressed like an adult? Because I'm a big cheese, now, baby, and don't you forget it. Don't you forget to lower the price of grain, then. Yes, yes, on my list. Below fixing the loos but above the squeaky door. You - we've gots to go. Hoots! Good morning, everyone. My name is Marcus Gallo. I'm the new Head of HR. Under my watch, this company is going to look after everyone - from the brainy boffins in Accounts, all the way down to Lena the cleaner, starting today. Also starting today, guys, there's a big jugball tournament here on the jugball court. Please come and watch Stylax and his team-mate take on me and Urbo. Where'd you get him from? He works in Finance, I think. Jove's sake, he's like a tree! Hence why he moved me up here. What? You can't change the rules just cos you found a tree man. You have to check with me first. No, it's my sport. I invented it. I've been playing it for ages! It's my sport. Is this still the meeting? No, ignore that. Basically, my point was... Hello, I'm Marcus. I'm gonna do some really good stuff around here for you. So... Like what? Like, well... give you comfier chairs and unblock the toilets... and oil that squeaky door. Oh, thank you. Yes, exactly. For too long, this company has put profits above people. Yeah. If there's anything you need at any point, just ask and I will deliver. Thank you very much. Could I go and find a big man for my jugball side, please? Yeah. Not exactly what I had in mind, but OK, fine. Wicked, thanks. It's terrible! I can't eat anything. You don't know any dentists, do you? Davus here could extract the bad tooth, if you want. What, really? Is he a dentist, then? Well, he's a dentish. He's got a hammer. Davus? Yeah? Smash out Grumio's bad tooth. Of course, boss. Just give it a wipe. Very good. Very medical. All right, fella. Just lean back for me there. Do you not want to know which tooth it is first? Yeah, go on, then, mate. It's that wonky one there. I'll sort of aim in that ballpark. Stay still for me. I-I might leave it, actually. Yeah, probably for the best. No, I don't like it! Everyone's loving it under the new boss, man. I've heard several people call you 'nice' and one woman even say 'fairly hot'. Well, if you listen to what people need, they will thank you for it. Thanks for letting me get my new partner, by the way, Big Paulus. Good, isn't he? Well, he's tall, yeah. Which is what it's all about now we've raised the jug and swapped the papyrus for apples. Bitey-bitey, eyes shut tighty! Oh, my Jove! Where did you get him from? I just saw him guarding the grain store. I was, like, 'Big boy, you're coming with me! ' And I'm killing Rambo thanks to you. You are welcome. Hang on...so who's guarding the grain store now? Oh, yeah, no... no one. Oh, shit! Stop! Stop! Stop it! Oi! Oi! Well, well, well. The Professor. What brings you out here, then? Oh, just concluding... you know, a big sale. Pleasure doing business with you! Uh-huh? How much did they steal? Not much. A bit, yeah. Quite a lot, actually. It's fine, though. I can handle it. Of course you can. If you'll excuse me, I've just bought darling little Rex. I've got a busy day of stroking ahead of me. Out of interest, what would you do if you were me? Some kind of nose job, I imagine. About the burglary. That's easy - make a few cutbacks, fire some of the fat ones. And if you're very low on grain, you're gonna have to raise the price. Right, yeah. That's not an option. So maybe get fired and buy a puppy, then. Really working for me. Which style of cuisine would your master most favour today, sir? He's still keen on the seafood but he's after something...soft. Soft, sir? He's a busy man, he don't want to waste time chewing. I understand completely. I would suggest caviar. Caviar, what? They're fish eggs. Soft as silk but terrifically tasty. Fish eggs? Mm-hm. Fish eggs? Mm-hm. Fish eggs? Now that, my friend, is scrummy. Hello again. Just to say, despite what I said earlier, we sadly had a burglary this afternoon, so now have to make a few cutbacks. Fixing the toilets will have to wait. Typical! It is typical. It's typical of one or two antisocial grain thieves who ruin it for everyone. It's your fault for moving Big Paulus up here to play their stupid jug game. Shut up. It's a great game. Either way, we also can't afford new chairs. Oh, classic! You say you're one of us but you're just another lying exec looking after your mates. I, for one, won't stand for it. Right, OK. Anyone else won't stand for it? Raise your hand if you won't stand for it. That is good to know because we do need to make some redundancies, so you're all fired. What? I was stretching! I will stand for it. We need to reduce spending pretty urgently. I'm afraid it's a case of 'no pain, no grain'. Yeah, Prof, the company bought this gold jug for the tournament later. Mm-hm. So we'll need a bit more pain, then. Sorry. Let's lose... the guy with the monobrow and Lena the cleaner. What? You can't fire Lena! Why are you still here? End of meeting, everyone back to work. Apart from those who've been sacked. You have to go. Now. Not even fixed the squeaky door! Mmm, fish eggs. Cor. Workers united will never be defeated! The workers united will never be defeated! Oh, no, please! I'm a worker too! I'm working very hard here! Lena's worked here for 45 years. So she probably needs a rest, then! Give us back our jobs, you arsehole. Not now you all hate me. The workers united will never be defeated! ..cheaper grain. When do we want it? Now! What do we want? Cheaper grain! When do we want it? Now! Delphine? What are you doing here? What are you doing here, Marcus? You said you'd cut grain prices and then you raised them! I had to! Can you not protest against me, please? Why would you do that? Because he's looking after himself and his cronies, love. Mate, I'm trying to have a conversation with my girlfriend. You go out with this arsehole? I do, yes. And stop calling me that! You could do a lot better! Thank you. Shut up, please. I'd dump him. Dump him! Dump him! Dump him! Dump him! Dump him! I mean, this is not how I thought today would go. Yeah. Welcome to my world. OK, let's go, Team Rambo. Hit it, girls. # Rambo, Rambo, he's our man # If he can't do it, no one can! What? Why don't I have girls? I invented the game, I get the cheerleaders. That's the rules. Prof, I meant to say, I gave them all jobs in marketing. Hope that's cool. Uh-huh. You three are fired, in that case. We can't afford you any more. Er...has it started yet? Not yet, G-Man, you're just in time. Yo, Rambo. Looks like I got a cheerleader of my own. Please don't employ him. Give us a chant, G-Man. # Come on, Stylax, you can do it # Stick that ball in the bastard jug Not bad. # Rambo! Paulus! Rambo! Agh! OK. 53-all. Next point wins. Urbo! Yes, Paulus! Bitey-bitey, eyes shut tighty! Oh. Hi, Dad. Don't you 'hi, Dad' me, you little prick. What did I say? What's the one thing I told you to do? Floss? Keep your nut down! I did! So why, for Sphinx's sakes, is there not one, but two protests going on outside that door? The Professor did that, not me. Well, hang on... And why are you chucking apples at some geezer strapped to a column? Aurelius. Great to meet you, sir. Love the beard. It's jugball. It's... He invented it, it was all him. Finally, he admits it! I couldn't give a pharaoh's fat one. I've only come here cos I've been contacted by the bloody Emporium. You've spent 15,420 dinaris, and mostly on caviar. That wasn't me, I promise. Right. Tutankhamen, give me the bleeding card back. I don't know where it is. I haven't seen it since I gave it to... Oh, brilliant. Have you got my card, boy? Mm, yeah. Give it back, then, fuck face. I'd rather not, to be honest. Give it to me. Let it go. Let it go. Thank you. Now, you, my palm, your arse, now. Move it! I'll eat you alive, I'm telling you. Oh, bull's-eye. Me tooth! He's knocked out me hurty tooth! Well, I couldn't say no. Ptolemy made me an absurdly generous offer. What about that puppy you were carrying around? Oh, I put him down - in every sense. That little dirt dispenser shat all over my mosaic. And Rambo, was he put down? Sadly not. He's now managing the family vineyard, which sounds like a monumentally stupid idea to me, but there you go. Hm...and how about us? Are there still jobs for us here? Oh, yes. I've got some 'big jobs' for you. Quick game of spongebucket? Yeah, go on, then. Previously on "Second Chance"... Woman: Disgraced sheriff Jimmy Pritchard took his own life today. [Zapping] You're the first to journey all the way back, to get another chance. I know you. You're one of those rich computer twins. Otto recoded your white blood cells to fight the cancer in my blood. You brought me back to save you. Otto: The donor grows much stronger than any of my models anticipated. [Gunshot] You hang on, all right? You hang on! I should have gone to your ball games. I should have... I should have been better to your mom. Duval: He's dying. He said you could fix him. I'll meet you at the gate. No, we're coming in together. No more lies. Why does he think he's my father? Because he is. No. No, no, no, no. No, it can't be. It is. It is not. It's impossible. This doesn't happen. It... it... it never happens. If by "it" you mean me, it's happened. Look at me. You know who I am. - Shut up. - Shut up? How long you been waiting to say that to me? You two. I need an explanation that doesn't involve my dad coming back from the dead. _ _ _ What is that? What language is that? What are you saying? ! Don't even bother. It's some twin thing. It freaks me out, too. [Stammering] That's what freaks you out? ! Hey, get your panties out of a twist, take a deep breath, and admit you know who I am, kiddo! - Don't call me that! - Don't call me that! Now, you hate being called kiddo 'cause you're a grown man. You took care of the family when I wasn't around. That's right, isn't it, kiddo? It's a mind-bender. I know. Imagine how I felt. No. No. - Don't backslide. Stay with it. - No, no, no, no! I know this is a lot to take in. No. Do... no. My... my father never looked like that, so he can't be. He isn't. He isn't, he isn't. - But he is. - Mnh-mnh. He's the best version of your father. Physically, his cells were recoded for optimal capacity. Physically, he is the best version. Inside, however, I'm still just me. You saw it. I think Gracie saw it, too. Don't you say her name. Arthur: Agent Pritchard's facial effect indicates he is at 54% acceptance. What the hell is that thing? Agent Pritchard, let me take you through this slowly, from the start. You're not taking me through anything. Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh. You two, this... this apartment, this... that tank out there. That... that thing in the mirror. - I'm not... - Duval! Son. It's me. I'm back. No. I buried you. ♪ ♪ I told you, hmm? She is perfect. [Russian accent] No. Not yet. Let me have her and I will make her perfect. ♪ No. Not this one. [Music ends] [Cheers and applause] ♪ Margo? Margo. Honey? No! [Breathing shakily] [Breathing deeply] [Door opens] Helen: Yeah, I would love to see what you have, honey. - That's the picture... - What is that? It's Granddad from the memorial. I'm using it for my presentation, remember, at school? All right, listen to what I have so far. - Yes. - [Clears throat, sniffs] "Jimmy Pritchard was not your typical granddad. He loved loud music, putting bad guys away, and his bourbon neat... not always in that order." That's cute. [Chuckling] Some people say... " Duval: Stop. What's wrong? Stop. I don't want to hear any more of it, and put that back where you found it. Why? What's... what's wrong? You okay there, Duval? You said that I could do this. Well, now I'm saying you can't. Just because you don't talk about him, doesn't mean that no one else can. I'm your father and I told you to put it away! So put that thing away now! [Cork rattles] I know. That was wrong. I know. I'll apologize to Gracie in a minute. Did something happen at work? Yeah. No. I... Let me ask you a question. If Dad came back, right now... What would you say to him? Oh, my god. It's happening. It's finally happening, isn't it? What? What's happening? Well, you're letting in that Dad is gone. He's gone. He's not coming back. It's because our half brother is here, isn't it? He's helping you. Oh, it took you a while, but I'm... I'm just... I'm so proud of you, Duvie. Just let it in. You know, you... you can say it now. "My father is gone, and he's not coming back." [Mountain's "Mississippi Queen" play] If your dad screws up... Cut him some slack. That's rule number two. ♪ Mississippi Queen ♪ If you've got food and a roof over your head and you get taken to a prize fight every now and then, just say "Thanks, Dad." Rule number one. Is that so hard? Are you listening to me? Are you listening to yourself? I wasn't talking to you. That's the problem. You're not talking to the right person. You know, it's been a long time... Since I could do this. I've never been able to do that. Look, I got it, all right? I got it. You want me to talk to my son. He'll accept who you are. You saw it. - He's almost there. - That's the problem. If he accepts who I am, he'll want nothing to do with me. You want to go on pretending to be the brother he's never heard of? We were getting somewhere. Then get somewhere honestly. As his father. Honesty? Is that what this is? You just want me to make good with my FBI agent son so he doesn't go tell them about it and they come close this little science project, and then bam! There goes your cure. I know you didn't throw yourself off that bridge. Sheriff Jimmy Pritchard would never walk off that bridge. Damn straight he wouldn't. But Sheriff Jimmy Pritchard ended up all by himself in a crappy apartment paying for hookers. Watch it. And getting visits from his son only when the neighbors complained about the noise and cigarette smoke. He knows who you are. Show him who you can be. I've seen that person. I think Duval should see him, too. You done? Yes. You ever think about coaching sports? That was a humdinger of an underdog speech. There's only one way back into Duval's life. He asked me for help once. Only time he ever asked for my help with a case. And when he asked for your help, what did you do? Gracie: Those are my granddad's old boxes, and my dad's case files are over here. [Chuckles] Does my dad know you're here? No, he doesn't. You know, I'm not a kid. I can see what's going on here. You make my dad angry just like my granddad made him angry. Why? The situation with your dad and me is complicated. What are you looking for in his old case files? Just something that'll make him less angry. You know, I'm glad you're here. My dad's done so much by himself, you know? He really needs you. I'm glad he has a brother, and I'm... Glad I have an uncle. Can you just... can you just promise me that you're... you're here to help him? Gracie. Of course. Yeah, I promise, okay? Why don't you, uh, go make me one of those double-bacon BLT sandwiches, huh? Your grandfather told me all about them. You got it. Duval: The name's Kevin Whitfield. It's a junkie. Overdose. Yeah, but this kid has no history of drug use. He was going to college in the fall. Dad, just go through it with me. See if I missed something. These parents came to me. They said their son was better than this, and I believed them, Dad. - I did. - Tell me. Please tell me you have something more than that. His backpack. He never went anywhere without it. It's missing. [Camera shutter clicks] [Phone ringing] Man: Hey, Duval. [Sighs] _ [Cellphone rings] [Sighs] What? James: Question. Remember that promise you made to Kevin Whitfield's parents? You want to make good on it? What do you know about Kevin Whitfield? Just what you told me back then. I've been going over it. You know, uh, the backpack that was missing. You thought it was connected to the killing. Are you reading my notes? I, uh, I took a picture of it, and I sent it to my friends. They did some kind of search. You know, like the dents and scratches on the backpack make it like a fingerprint? Did you know that? [Beeping] They looked at 5 million pictures and finally came up with the perfect match. One double-bacon BLT sandwich, nice and hot. Thank you. Duval: Where are you? Are you at my house? James: I found the backpack. The dead kid's best friend, a nice young man named Liam. He took it. Funny how he didn't mention that in his statement, huh? You stay away from my daughter. Yeah. Deal. I'm heading to the best friend's house right now. Maybe you should, uh, just meet me there. [Sighs] [Phone beeps] ♪ Did I tell you how much I missed Gracie's double-bacon BLT sandwiches? But even on my cholesterol meds, the doctors... they just never let me have one. [Sighs] You remember Kevin Whitfield's best friend Liam, don't you, Duval? Say hello, Liam. Hello. Right, now tell the nice FBI agent what you didn't tell him last time. [Panting] I... I took Kevin's backpack. He stole his best friend's backpack after he died. Liam: I just wanted his headphones. He didn't need them anymore. I swear. Touching. Anyway, he kept the backpack and, uh, this was inside. Can you guys let me down now? How did you convince Gracie to let you into my stuff? Did I tell her who I am? Who you think you are. Oh. Oh, we're back to this. Good. Who's Gracie? Tell me what this means. I... I don't know. I swear. I... I just wanted the headphones. Cut me down! That's the break that you wanted. Now, if we'd had that before I went and told you to let it go... you were right. There was more to this. Now, you can give it to your cipher unit, or we can give it somebody who thinks in code. Otto Goodwin. You're gonna want him on this. Just trust me on that. Otto: It's beautiful. We thought it was some kind of... Oh... Some kind of drug accounting book that the names would be suppliers, dealers. The numbers would be amounts, delivery dates, maybe payments. It's chess. It's what? It's not drugs. It's chess. These names are grand masters. The owner of this notebook was playing them, anticipating moves, countering, often beating them. This notebook is the work of a genius. He was just 17. And a prodigy. - How do you know him? - I'm sorry, Duval. I thought this was some drug deal gone south. I thought he'd give us someone to go after. Go after for what? The kid who wrote this... he's dead. He O.D.'d. It's not uncommon. Exceptional intellects don't fit in. Without the proper care, many self-medicate. Based on data from our users, 83% of those with an IQ higher than 150 use some form of medication. Yeah, but heroin. Searching for prodigies O.D.ing on heroin. Should I show you the others in this geographical area? Others? What others? Margo Mallory. Cellist. Julian Edlun. Linguist. Fluent in eight languages. Victor Ruiz. Passed the bar and practiced law at age 16. Duval: This has been happening all along. All O.D.'d like Kevin Whitfield. All within 18 months. Maybe there is someone to go after. Babar Quereshi just published a mathematical formula for perpetual calendar calculations. I know you think he's perfect, but not yet. You must let me have this one. He needs to be pushed just a little more. [Tires squealing] [Sighs] [Footsteps approaching] What's the feeling, Otto? They were all outliers. Their gifts set them apart from the world. Like you're set apart? There was no one to protect them. What would happen to me if you went away? Same exact heroin compound found in all five victims. None had a history of street drug use. This is a homicide investigation now. US or local PD? [Chuckles] Five victims over three states. I think we take this one, don't you? Yes ma'am, I think we do. Kevin Whitfield's parents came to us. Said his death wasn't an O.D. If I'd have stopped it then... No, the Bureau didn't. So I'm telling you to stop it now. Use whatever you need. No more bodies like this. Yes, ma'am. Agent Pritchard. How'd you make the connection? Kept digging. Then just got lucky. Helen: Okay. Are you really serious about this? I told your dad, Grandpa was gone, but now you coming into our lives and digging up this case, well, that was the last time Dad and Duval were ever civil to each other, so now I think he might still be here. Just holding on, something left to do. All right. Come on. Both of you. Fingers on. [Sighs] Thank you. Close your eyes. Sheriff James Pritchard, if you are here, make your presence known. James Pritchard. Are you with us? [Door slams] You. Outside. Right now. [Door opens] They sure do this a lot. Maybe they like it. When we were kids, your grandpa would take your dad out there when he was in trouble. I can't imagine Dad in trouble. Yeah. They'd stand there just... like that. Duval: Why are you here? I told you to stay away from my house. You'd only come if you had leverage. I'd only come? So you admit it's me. Just tell me what you have. The dead whiz kids... they all had one more thing in common other than their talents. Otto. He found a pattern. They all applied to Seattle State University. Kevin Whitfield apply? Just like all the others. You gonna talk to their admissions officer? - Yeah. I am. - Good. Take me with you. The only other person that knows as much about this case as you is me. You came to me once, for help. I saw where it was going, I told you to drop it. And you did, and I just... Watched that eat away at you. I was there. I know it's you. But if I say it out loud it means I'm either crazy or it's true. You just said it out loud. [Sighs shakil] Gracie and Helen, you don't tell them. I do when it's time. Let's solve this case, Duval. When we get there, I do the questioning. You don't talk. They were so rare. Each of them. I remember some of their essays. Who could want to take these lives? That's what we're trying to find out. Maybe you can help. The only thing they have in common, other than being gifted, is an application to this school. As admissions director, you see every application. You don't think I had something to do with this. Just want to know how the admission process works. I'm sure privacy is a major concern here. Who has access to the applications? I see them all. Then I divide them into four groups. So there's four admissions officers and two assistants. That's seven of us. No one else is permitted access. We'll need to talk to them. I'm gonna give you a list of dates. I need you to tell me where you were when... [police radio chatter] [Car doors close] Is there a problem? [Police radio chatter] I need to speak to you for a moment. What? I kept my mouth shut. More agents. I called for a warrant before we left my house. I'd rather not explain that you're... not FBI. Yeah. [Elevator bell dings] Here's the warrant for you, sir. All right, we are looking for anything to do with high IQs, exceptional talents, anyone who is gifted. Let's go. These are Duval Pritchard's last four cases. He's doing good work, but it's as if something is left out of these reports, something he's hiding. So let's find it. There was another one... Sammy park... an overdose two years ago. The kid was 15. here on a full scholarship. Physics. Carl, the admissions director? He's got solid alibis. Yeah, he's hiding something. And you know that how? Five decades in uniform is how I know. Same way I knew that you busted my car window playing ball even though you said you didn't. I didn't bust it playing ball. I hit it with a bat. How the hell did you put a bat through a window playing ball? When you do it on purpose. [Inhales sharply] This physics prodigy... he was seeing the school therapist. Maybe he said something in session that will help us. You hit my Chevy on purpose. You made Mom cry. If you've got a problem with a man, you go to him. You don't take a bat to his car. I was 8 years old. I knew you lied about that window. Well, it looks like you two are in the right place. Exceptional people like Sammy... they're hard on themselves to begin with, and when you push them to see how far that genius can go, the stress here can be unbearable. But he sought out treatment. Well, we're understaffed. At most, I saw him once a week. I mean, it wasn't enough. Emotionally, he was like a child. Did he ever mention any of those names in that file there? Did he ever mention a Kevin Whitfield? No. I'm sorry, he didn't. May I ask... do you not speak? He asked me not to. Well, that's something you should work on, along with what was going on in my, uh, waiting room. I can refer you to somebody. Can she access the applications? No. I want agents put on the people with access to the applications and reach out to anyone who remotely meets the killer's criteria. [Cellphone beeps] What? I've never seen you work the field before. It looks good on you. We won't be able to get the admission files now. So maybe we stop. Maybe it's over. That's what's wrong with you. You don't push hard enough. You're lucky I am in your life. Why you? Why bring you back? And not someone worthwhile? I asked that question myself. Something about my DNA makes the process just... Go. And you just signed up for it. No, I didn't. They just did it. So, it's been nearly two years. Why are we here? Your son Kevin was the first... only after we found the others... We knew it was homicide. So like we told your people. I can't imagine what these last 18 months have been like. So what do you want from us, Agent Pritchard? I want to start again. If you have anything of Kevin's from that time... We haven't touched his room. So you can take whatever you want if it helps. [Sniffles] But don't call us again unless you have answers. This is everything from Kevin's room? Yep. So, start your timeline at zero. What's your first event? I'm gonna start with the suicide at SSU. It happened a month before the first killing. I'm not ready to call that a coincidence. All right. We'll call it event one. Kevin Whitfield's event two. God, it's weird being here. It looks just like your old place. Yeah, I kind of like it here. Kevin Whitfield's condolence book. Hey, you don't have mine, do you? I'd like to see who came to my funeral. No, you wouldn't. [Scoffs] Duval, did you really bust my car window 'cause I made your mom cry? Yeah. I did. Good for you. Liz Kenyon. The therapist. What about her? She's written her name in Kevin Whitfield's condolence book. Look. Right here. She did. And this name... Emile Sayles. Same Handwriting. Looks like she signed him in, too. Funny... she didn't mention that earlier. So, first, she treats the kid who committed suicide. Then a month later, she's at Kevin's funeral. We got to find out what happened in those therapy sessions. We got to go look at those files. You want to get into the psychologist's confidential patient files off of a signature in a condolence book? No. First, you look deeper into her and this Emile Sayles. Then we go to the judge, get a warrant, and then we go get her. You understand? Mm-hmm. - Say you understand. - Don't... don't pull that "say you understand" thing with me. That's... that's my thing. Well, don't you have a tank to get into or something? "First you dig deeper, then you get a warrant." Yeah, right. The killer's sitting poolside in Acapulco drinking dollar beers and knockoff pain killers. Liz Kenyon... a piano prodigy from the time she was 6 years old. What she was 12, this man... Emile Sayles, enters her life and takes control not just of her piano but nearly everything she does. He pushed her until she broke. And you think she's still under his influence? Yes, ma'am. I do. They are going to come for us. Let them. Please let them. Look at yourself. You could have been so much more. But maybe this is all you were meant to be. [Gasps] Where's your partner? Emile? You know about Emile? - Mm-hmm. - You have to get him. Please. He won't stop. You have to get him. Please. He's going to... Okay. Okay. Don't move. I tried to stop him. [Sighs] [Panting] [Cellphone rings] - Duval. - It's her. The therapist. We were right. She's involved in these killings. Listen to this. She was a prodigy. Had a breakdown at 16 and was institutionalized. Took a while to get these records. Emile Sayles was her teacher. Duval, listen... Oh, it gets better. Both their names are on the condolence books of the other victims. And you were right about the admissions director. He did have a secret. Liz Kenyon was sleeping with him to get access to the applications. He was afraid of getting fired. That's what you saw. Duval... I have the warrant to Kenyon's home and office. We're mounting up now. This was good work. She's been killing these kids. We're gonna stop her. Skip past the part where even though I asked you to wait, you broke into her office. Then what? She was on the floor when I got here. She was gone when I got back. When you got back from where? I went after Emile. You saw him? No. No. Emile Sayles, her piano tutor, has been dead since 1997. There is no Emile. She signed both names in those condolence books because Emile is only in her head. It's just her. And now she's in the wind. Kiddo. Listen. Go back to those twins. They're your family now. This was a bad idea. So... You. Here. This is what? You giving up on working with your son? Duval doesn't care what I think about this case or anything else. You can't really believe that. Your son wants very badly to please you. Why do you think he became an FBI agent? You don't follow in the footsteps of someone whose opinion doesn't matter. You matter to him. I never thought of that before. He got into law enforcement because of me. He wanted to please me. [Chuckles] His whole life, he just wanted to please me. If he's her and I'm him... Why am I here? Because you want me to shut up. Okay. I'm good with that. No, no, no, no, no. You want me to shut up. You really want me to shut up. And yet you still keep on talking. Not now. I mean, probably now, but even when I was dead, did you ever hear me then? "What the hell are you doing, kiddo?" Right. So who was I? You were the voice in my head. Like Emile Sayles is... Like Emile Sayles is a voice in Liz Kenyon's head. Only she wants him out. That's what she told me. Now, when you used to hear my voice, where were we? Where we were putting in the work. Backyard. You making me work the heavy bag. So when she thinks of him is where they put in the hours. He started working with her in middle school. So she wants him out. Maybe she takes him back to where he climbed in. I've got agents covering 100 possible targets up and down the west coast. I can't drag away assets because you and I are working out some family crap. Well, you know, I thought we were catching Kevin Whitfield's killer. Me and you. It's a three-hour drive from here. We can make it by opening bell. Let's go. [Bell rings] [Indistinct conversations] Can you tell me... why are we here? I don't want you anymore. It's been long enough. I'm leaving you here. You think you brought me here? ! I brought you! So many choices. It's not even practice and that one there is doing laps. Isn't she pushing herself hard enough? Remember when I pushed you? It was just upstairs in the music room. Yes, I remember. Do you remember the music you made? [Piano playing] It was perfect. It made you perfect. She can be perfect. She shouldn't have to be. [Gasps] How long ago? She was seen heading toward the pool about five minutes ago. Where is it? Just around the corner. He can't get you now. You're safe. Open them up. I can't. they lock from the inside. That area is shelter in place. Get around the corner. Get around the corner! There's something else about me that you should probably know. [Groaning] [Metallic clatter] James: There you are. - You shouldn't have bothered. - Come on. Just breathe. Liz: The drug will take her soon. Narcan. Heroin antidote. All the agents looking for you have it. [Gasps, coughing] Liz Kenyon, you killed Kevin Whitfield, didn't you? I took him to protect him. Yeah, well, now I'm taking you. [Police radio chatter] [Handcuffs click] James: Just breathe. Just breathe. So why would you ever promise those parents you'd find his killer? Because... They believed in him so much that it made me believe in him, too. [Young woman coughs] You're a hell of a lawman. Thank you, son. So are you. But I got to ask you to stay away from Gracie... Until I figure this out. Figure what out? She's my granddaughter. She misses me. Yeah. Because you died. Just give me some time with this. [Bell jingles] [Sighs] So, this is Peng's. They love me. Ryan: Castle? He's a giant pain in the ass, but he's good people. Okay. Uh, yeah, sure. We'll help. We'll interview Harris' sister, Veronica. Yeah, why don't you send us a copy of the murder book, okay? Thanks. I need a favor, but you can't tell Javi. [Laughs] I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. It's not bad. It's just... I met a guy. I like him. And I want you to run a background check on him. - Romantic. - Seriously. In this day and age, you can't trust anyone. I don't want to fall for the guy and then discover he's got a thing for putting the lotion in the basket. Okay. I'll, uh, check it out. Check what out? Uh, this, uh... This rash that I have. Yeah, I wanted to get Lanie's medical opinion on it. Too much information, bro. Yeah, that's what I said. Later, boys. Castle: First thing we need to do is figure out what case Phillip Harris was working on. Odds are, that's what got him killed. Look, I love a gruesome murder as much as the next girl, but we don't have a client. And impressing that ridiculous detective society isn't exactly on the top of my list. Well, it's on mine. But first, let's see if anyone knows what I was doing here a year and a half ago. Yeah. This is definitely the place. Andrew: Two for lunch? [Shouting in Korean] The watch. Richard. What's going on? You were here 18 months ago. Uh, yeah. It's my place. So? Do you recognize him? No, should I? Uh, I was here about, um... [Speaks Korean] I was here about a year and a half ago. Something happened. You yelled at me. Oh, you're the guy with the watch. What watch? You... You couldn't pay. And then I was gonna call the cops on you. And then, uh, you... you gave me your watch to hold onto. Said you were gonna come back for it, but you never came. - Was I with anybody? - Uh, no. Did I talk to anybody? Did I tell you where I'd been or where I was going? No. You, uh, just ate, and then you left. Uh, gave me your watch first. Do you still have the watch? Best wingman I ever had. That does not look familiar. And it's a knock-off. But it's the freshest clue we have. I'll buy it back from you. Sure. My brother was right. Right about what? The Phantom. A serial killer Phillip was hunting. He stumbled onto it working a missing-persons case. We haven't heard of any active serials nicknamed The Phantom. That's why Phillip called him The Phantom... Because no one has any idea that he exists. According to Phillip, The Phantom had been killing people in Los Angeles and New York for the last several years. A bicoastal serial killer? Right before Phillip flew back to L.A., he told me that he'd had a break in the case, that he was close to identifying The Phantom. He must have gotten too close to the truth. I pulled autopsy reports on The Phantom's alleged victims. Total of seven... Four in L.A., three in New York. All seven were killed with a knife. Any pattern besides the knife? No. The victims are all over the map. Four men, three women. Different ethnicities and ages. Each of the victims had something removed... An ear, an eye, a finger. Why? What's the significance of that? There is none. And because of the randomness, no one was able to connect the murders. Until Phillip Harris, of course. So Phillip was right. A serial killer's been hunting in L.A. and New York for three years completely under the radar. All this way for a dead end. Oh, it might be for the best. Ignorance is bliss. No, ignorance is hell. Mr. Castle. The GDS is requesting my presence at headquarters. This must mean I passed their test and they want me to join their ranks. I hate to burst your fanboy bubble, but how do you know this is on the up-and-up? Is this on the up-and-up? Yes, sir. What are you doing? Watching your back. Oh. Uh, we have... Hello. Mr. Castle, Ms. Shipton. [Door closes] It's a pleasure to meet both of you. I'm Mason Wood. What a pleasure. I cannot even believe I'm here. This is a dream come true. That's very kind of you to say. Our society has a long and rich history, and our membership expands every continent, save Antarctica. Not too many murders there. No. No. [Chuckles] Although, I did find a lost Chinese treasure ship hidden in an iceberg... 2007. Now, I hate to do this, but I need to speak to Mr. Castle alone. I'm sure you understand, Ms. Shipton. No. I can stay here, if that's what you mean. Excellent. This way. Ooh. As you can see, we have assembled a few of our members. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. I know you. You were at the crime scene. You're a cop. No, but I wear the hell out of a uniform. This is Kendall Frost. She's a private detective based out of San Francisco. I'm afraid I'm a little confused. What exactly are we doing here? Phillip Harris was a member of our society. His death is a tragedy. But it is also an opportunity for you or Ms. Frost. Phillip's death has left an opening in our ranks. Whichever one of you solves his murder will be invited in. S08E14 G.D.S. Phillip Harris was right. [Door closes] There is a phantom serial killer murdering people on both coasts. That's clever. Splitting up his hunting ground kept everyone from knowing his existence. - Did the boys get any leads? - Just one. His sister said that Phillip Harris was working undercover at Zenith Studios. Alexis: Oh, they're the ones that ruined the Nikki Heat movie franchise. Not ruined... Destroyed, terminated, extirpated, vaporized, eviscerated. Do you plan on running through the full thesaurus? No. I think that'll about do it. Anyway, Phillip thought someone at Zenith Studios was The Phantom. Makes sense. Plenty of people connected with the film industry are bicoastal. Directors, producers, cinematographers... And actors, who are all borderline sociopaths, by the way. Don't have to tell me. Hey, did anyone at Zenith know that Phillip was working there undercover? Just one... Head of the studio. Ah. Let's go talk to him. Thank you. I am so going to get that spot in the Greatest Detective Society. I mean, there's no way Kendall has access to the kind of details that I have. Oh, don't get cocky, Rick. You haven't solved the murder yet. - Hide me. - What? How? Rick Castle. Oh, hi, Courtney. Hey. I'm Courtney. Hayley. So, what's going on? You guys have a beef or something? - Me and Rick? - Yeah. No. No way. We're buds. - Oh. - Buds? Last time I saw you, you tried to run me down with a golf cart 'cause I wouldn't let you get cast in the Nikki Heat movie. But what I didn't know then, which I do now, was that your movie was gonna be quite possibly the worst movie ever made. Not being cast in your movie was the best thing that could have happened to my career. [Sighs] So thanks. Let's do lunch some time. - Nice meeting you. - Yeah. Say hi to Brandon. Can you believe her? Worst movie ever made? Yeah, I can believe her. It was a terrible film. Well, that was all thanks to this really obtuse studio executive. What the hell was his name? Trevor Nigel. And you must be Richard Castle. - Yes. - We've only ever talked on the phone. Yeah. Nice to finally put a face to all those notes. Thank you so much for seeing us without an appointment. Are you kidding me? This is fate. I'm serious, Rick. Your name literally just came up in our last story-development meeting. It did? Now, look, I know this studio did a poor job producing Heatwave, but believe me, I fought for your vision. And now that I am running the studio, it is time to get back in the Richard Castle business. Oh, uh, well, thank you. I'm flattered. [Cellphone chiming] But we're not actually here about my books. We're actually looking into the murder of Phillip Harris. Yes, I heard about that. It was shocking. Phil was a great guy. He saved my ass a couple of years ago. Got photos of my ex having an affair with our personal psychic. - Oh. - Saved me millions. [Chiming continues] So, Phillip's sister told us that you gave him permission to go undercover here at the studio. Yes. Phil said he was working a new case. He asked for a favor. I owed him one, so I said okay. Who was he investigating? He wanted access to Austin Elektra. The movie director? Yeah. Shooting a film over on 1. "Gladiators." It's gonna make a billion in China. Oh, h-hold on. You don't think that Austin had something to do with Phil's murder? Was Austin filming last night? He was supposed to. But for some reason, he shut down production early and took off. About what time did he leave the lot? I heard around 11:00. Why? Giving him lots of time to get to that cemetery. Where do we find Stage 1? You work out? [Bell ringing] Hayley: Oh, look. There's Austin. So, how do you want to play this? Well, if he did kill Phillip Harris, he's bound to be on guard, so we can't let him know that we are looking at him as a suspect. Kendall? ! Oh, she's good. [Chuckles] How did she get onto Austin so quick? We're done for. She's already got him wrapped around her skinny, little finger. Don't say I never did anything for you. There you are, darling. Mm. So, who's our new friend? Babe, this is Austin Elektra. - Hi. - Hi. So, I just invited your girlfriend up to my place later. Ready to rehearse. You're more than welcome to join if you want. Oh, that sounds naughty. I love naughty. Ready to rehearse. Got to go. See you ladies tonight. Absolutely. Are you kidding me with this? Oh, come on, sweetie. All's fair in love and murder investigations. What, do you think this is a game? As hot as it would be to see you two fight... Especially after that kiss... We need to work together on this. It is in all our best interests. All right. We'll work together. For now. Wow. This is actually gonna work out great. While you and Kendall keep Austin distracted, I'll search his house for proof that he's The Phantom. Membership in the GDS is as good as mine. Oh, yay for you. What's wrong? [Sighs] Was it the kiss with Kendall? Was it... Too much tongue? - N... - Not enough tongue? N... Well, not enough. No, Kendall was right. This is not a game. If Austin Elektra is in fact The Phantom, then we are walking right into the lair of a serial killer. I'm sorry. Repeat everything you said after "not enough." Oh, God help us. [Computer beeps] Esposito: Hey, Kev. Hey! Hey, hey. Hey, hey. What's up, partner? Castle and Hayley might be onto something. Turns out that movie director was in New York during two of The Phantom's murders. What about the third? Based on financials, there's no indication of where Austin was. Which means he could have been here committing that third New York homicide. This could be our guy. Yeah, I'm gonna keep digging. Oh, and, uh... [Computer beeps] What is this, bro? What are you hiding from me, and who is Tyler Ross, and why are you running a background check on him? Tyler's nobody. Um, well, you see, um... Okay, Jenny a-and I, we're looking to have a new nanny. Or in Tyler's case, a... a manny. [Laughs] - What? - Yeah. [Both chuckle] Stop it. You're, like, the worst liar ever. Who is this guy? He's Lanie's new boyfriend. She wanted me to check him out but not to tell you. You know what this means, right? We... are gonna have some fun at Lanie's expense. Hey, Lanie. I got your text. And I've got your murder weapon... A picture of it, anyway. I used the autopsies of The Phantom's victims to generate this. Ryan: Hmm. Those serrations near the base are pretty distinctive. Exactly. Find the knife... Find the killer. Nice work. So, how's the background check going? Oh, pretty good so far. I don't like the sound of that. No, t-there's... there's nothing to worry about... y-yet. It's... it's just a rumor. Let's hear it. Okay. He's got a thing about... clowns. That's okay. Lots of people are afraid of clowns. Oh, no, no. He's not afraid of them. He likes them. Like a fetish? [Sighs] Oh, good Lord. I-I haven't verified it yet. I still have to speak with one of his exes. Okay. Keep me posted, will you? Ryan, that is excellent. Thank you. Now, just hold off on giving it to LAPD just until morning. We have a plan to expose who's behind this. [Sighs] Or get ourselves killed. Having second thoughts? About having a ménage with a trophy-taking serial killer? No! What could possibly go wrong? Look, this the murder weapon. All you have to do is distract Austin long enough for me to find this knife. Let's just hope we don't find it in one of our backs. Right. [Alarm beeping] Oh. Castle: Wow. Ooh. Sorry. I was setting up a few counter-surveillance precautions. You think we're being bugged? [Beeping stops] We aren't sure exactly what or who we're looking for out here, so I figured, we can't be sure who's looking for us. So, what tripped the alarm? Maybe the sensor's turned up too high. [Beeps, whirring] [Beeping] Ah, ha ha ha. I'll be damned. Looks like this watch is good for something other than taking care of checks at Korean restaurants. Mm. [Sighs] Hello. Someone has hard-wired a GPS transmitter to the watch's battery. You think it's CIA, left over from my Thailand mission? Possible. Doubt we'll ever know for sure. Can't we track down where it was purchased? No. I'm afraid this transmitter's incredibly common, which makes tracking it almost impossible. But we have to try, right? I mean, it's why we're here. [Knock on door] Kendall. Wow. You certainly have baited the hook. I had to, especially considering it's gonna be two against one tonight. What are you talking about? Come on, Rick. I know you're gonna sneak into Austin's house to look for evidence while Hayley and I distract him. I'm no fool, but you are if you think your little plan will work without these. Schematics to Austin Elektra's house. Where'd you get those? Don't worry your pretty, little head about that. Pretty? While Hayley and I distract Austin, you need to look for this. It's a false wall. A secret room. That would be the perfect place for Austin to hide the grisly trophies he takes from his victims. Exactly. Now, if you find evidence that Austin is the killer, I get equal credit. No double-crosses. Deal. That way, Mason Wood has to make both of us members of the society. Let's go. Hold on. Is that what you're wearing? - Yes. - No. Deciding between something I brought and something that Rick's about to buy me. I think I know the direction you'll be leaning in. Oh. You really do deserve to be in the Greatest Detective Society. Austin: Wow. Come in, come in. Let's get some drinks in you. Ooh. Here you go. Ooh. A little something to loosen your inhibitions. Oh, don't worry. We're plenty loose already. Not after I've tied you up. Oh. So, who's first? Uh... [Chuckles] Um... tell you what. Uh, why don't you let me tie you up first? Then how am I gonna be able to do all the terrible things that I've got planned for you? [Laughs] Oh, I'm sure you'll figure something out. [Chuckling] Isn't that right, Kendall? Kendall... Kendall? Damn it. She's gonna miss all the fun. [Grunts] You've been had. That dirty little... [Chuckles] I'm getting tired of chasing you. Well, there's no rule against taking a short break. [Laughs] [Alarm blaring] What the hell? Hey, where's your friend? Huh? Castle: Thought we had a deal. No more double-crosses. Sorry, Ricky, but I am going to be the one to take those trophies in. Castle: Well, good luck with that, because I'm looking for a murder weapon. It's a unique blade, but I guess you wouldn't know that. - You're lying. - No. And here it is. Okay, great. We'll take it in together. Like you said, we have deal, right? Oh, so now the deal's back on? Austin: Drop the knife! Austin, the police know we're here. If you kill us, they will catch you. I'm not gonna kill you. Then why are you holding us at gunpoint? Because you're robbing me? We're not robbing you. We're getting evidence that you are a serial killer. Like this knife, which as been used in seven ritualistic murders. What are you talking about? I-I'm not a serial killer. I'm a film director. And that is a prop from a horror movie I shot two years ago. Well, prop or not, this knife matches our victims' wounds exactly. There were five identical knives made for that film, which means there are four others out there just like it. Maybe you should be looking for one of those. But you were in New York for three of those murders. So were 8 million other people, including my assistant, who can prove my whereabouts at all times. Now get the hell out of my house! - Do you think you could... - Hey. Okay. Well, the director was telling the truth. His alibis check out for all three New York murders. Then we need to track down all the knives that were made for that horror movie. Yeah. Clearly one of them was used to commit all seven murders. There were eight. W-What are you talking about? I discovered a fourth New York victim... A man by the name of Pat Crews. Are you sure? Phillip Harris only knew about three. There's a reason he missed this one. Because this murder took place on the same day The Phantom killed a woman in Los Angeles. But how can that be? Unless... There are two serial killers, one on each coast. [Knock on door] - [Groans] Who is that? - Castle: I don't know. Whoever it is, I hope they brought coffee. Detective Menendez. - You know... - Please come in. I expect to be screwed over by an asshat that I don't know, but not from one who's supposed to be my friend. I take it that you heard about what happened at Austin Elektra's house last night. You said you'd keep me in the loop. Look, we can explain. Uh, Austin had a prop knife that matched the murder weapon. And our lab tested it this morning... it's clean. Did you manage to track down the other four knives used in the movie? Two of the knives are still at the studio warehouse. They came up clean, too. And according to the prop master... Who alibied out, by the way... The last two knives went missing. Well, Lanie discovered there are two different murderers operating on either coast using identical weapons. All we have to do... Oh, whoa, whoa. No, no, no. T-there is no "we." You two are done. And if I catch either of you working this case, I'll have you both arrested for obstruction. No, no, no, no. Mm. Hey, maybe a little single malt scotch will smooth things over? Go home. Excuse me. T-this just came for you, Mr. Castle. Oh. Um... thanks. Looks like Menendez isn't the only one unhappy about last night. Mason wants to see Kendall and me right away. Good luck. What's that? This is payback. Thanks for coming in. Where is everyone else? Their enthusiasm for both of you waned after the way you conducted yourselves last night. It was messy, boarish, lacking the sophistication we expect from any potential member. - It was her fault. - It was his fault. No, it was my fault, thinking that either of you could ever have filled Phillip's shoes. Mr. Wood, please. Give me another chance. No, give me another chance. I will find Phillip's killer. She won't. She's been two steps behind me this whole time. Behind you? I got to Austin first. And I got to the knife. And although it wasn't the actual murder weapon, thank you to my contacts at the NYPD, I have the address to the prop master's cousin in San Pedro who kept two of the last prop knives for himself as souvenirs. You see? I am close. Okay. And may the best detective win. Don't worry. I will. You realize she picked your pocket. Oh, yes. Whose address is on that piece of paper? It's a casting director my mother wanted to have a meeting with. Hmm. Kendall is going to be mad when she finds out. Like I'm scared of her. She is a master of Krav Maga. And she is deadly with a sniper rifle from a mile and a half. Good luck. I could not sleep last night. I kept having nightmares that I was sleeping with Bozo the Clown. Please tell me you found out more. Okay, relax. I spoke with Tyler's ex. He does not have a clown fetish. [Sighs] [Exhales] But... But what? But what, Ryan? You better speak now. His ex mentioned that he might have a bit of a bad habit. What kind of habit? The kind that requires rubber sheets. He's a bed wetter? Yo. Detective Menendez just called. According to the prop master, those two knives went missing on the last day of the shoot. Ohh. He's got the studio pulling drive-on logs from that day. He's gonna send us over a copy so we can see if any of the names connect to one of the New York murders. Hey, you okay? [Chuckles] Damn, what'd you tell her? Bed wetter. [Laughs] [Sighs] This had better be important. The masseuse was in the middle of doing things one only dreams of. I was able to trace the tracker in my dad's watch. It was purchased by a man named Malcolm McCabe. Oh. Born and raised in L.A. Former Army Special Forces. Says here he's working overseas. He has an aunt that lives in Pasadena. We should go talk to her, see if she knows anything. Sure, we could do that. Or we could just pretend you never found this. Fine. But my dad wants to know what happened during his missing time. Of course he does. But what happens when your father starts poking his nose into this Malcolm fellow? Hmm? I mean, the guy is former Special Forces. God only knows what he's doing for a living right now. Isn't is safer for your father to maybe not remember what happened? You should delete this. You okay? Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Why don't you head back to the spa? Don't have to tell me twice. [Sighs] [Door opens, closes] Check this out. I compared the drive-on list from the studio to people connected to the fourth New York victim, Pat Crews. - Any matches? - Yeah. Crews was a writing teacher at The New School. One of his early students is a successful screenwriter named Jordan Keegan, who now lives in New York but happened to be on the studio lot in L.A. when the murder weapons went missing. Let's pick his ass up. So, you're doing a news story on my nephew Malcolm, huh? Mm-hmm. It's about war heroes. Oh. Look. Isn't he handsome? Oh, yeah. But like I said, he's out of the country. His job keeps him really busy. Let me get you his number, okay? - Thanks. - Be right back. Uh, Ms. McCabe, I have to go. Thank you for your time. [Gasps] Damn it, Alexis. You're just like your old man. You can't leave things alone. Are you going to kill me? What? Why would you say that? Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you're connected to my dad's missing time and now you're hiding in the back of my rental car. Alexis, I would never hurt you. This isn't what you think. What the hell is your game, Hayley? Believe me, you don't want to know. Neither does your father. Why not? It's complicated. Jordan Keegan? We need to talk. About what? Well, your name came up in a homicide. This is the murder weapon. It's a prop from a movie that you wrote. So? So, did you happen to keep one as a souvenir? Perhaps two? One for yourself, one for your partner out in Los Angeles? What are you guys talking about? We're talking about Pat Crews, your old writing teacher. He was killed with a knife shaped exactly like that one. Hey! Drop it! Help me! - Let her go, Jordan. - Stand back! You got no where to go. Drop the scissors. Listen, fellas, I'm a writer, so trust me when I say if the villain surrenders, oh, it's just so unsatisfying! That's why they always go out in style. Just relax, Jordan. Don't do anything stupid. Stupid? Me? How can you say that when we've outsmarted you for years? Who's "we"? Who's your partner in L.A.? A genius. He believed in me. Took my visions, made them real. Give us a name, Jordan. You'll never find him. Ah! [Gunshots fire] [Sobbing] Okay. No, I understand. Thank you. Hey. [Door closes] That was Ryan and Esposito. They had to kill Jordan Keegan. But they sent us digital copies of Jordan's computer. Now, I think we... and by "we", I mean the two of you... Might be able to find something on there that'll give us a lead to find his West Coast counterpart. Rick, we need to talk. About what? I'll give you two the room. [Door closes] You remember when we first met? How could I forget? You sucker-punched me in the face. No. No, we'd met before that. A year and a half earlier, to be precise. You mean this whole time you knew? Who the hell are you? I'm Hayley. Didn't lie about that. Technically, I didn't lie about anything. I misrepresented, sure, but I-I didn't lie. But why? Because a year and a half ago, you asked me to. In fact, you begged. I don't understand. So ages ago, I did some freelance work for MI-6, and I met an American spy on an op. He was an older gentleman, very handsome, smart as a whip. My father. Jackson Hunt. Year and a half ago, he calls me, asks me to keep an eye out on you here in L.A. Said you were sticking your nose where it didn't belong. What did he say I was doing? [Sighs] I didn't ask, he didn't say. But I do know that after your two weeks in Thailand, your undercover mission for the CIA was over and you were supposed to go home. But instead you went rogue and you came to L.A. To keep tabs on you, I borrowed a GPS tracker from a friend of mine, Malcolm. And I placed it... In my watch. That was you. Yeah, only you left it in that Korean restaurant. So I lost track of you. And by the time I found you, you'd been shot in the side. Who shot me? You wouldn't say. You did mention your CIA handler, a guy named Jenkins. You said that you were going to go and ask him to erase everything that had happened to you here. But that doesn't sound like me. I'm curious by nature. Why would I do that? I have no clue, but you were adamant. And you made me promise that if I ever met you again, I'd never say any of this. Well, that doesn't explain why you stuck around, why you agreed to come work with me. I'm fond of you, Rick, and I adore your daughter. And after a lifetime of caring about nobody but myself, I decided to stick around and keep an eye on you two. It's like a Philip K. Dick novel. Wish I could go back in time and tell myself not to erase my memory. Or you could trust that you did it with good reason. Maybe just let your lost time go, because if you keep looking, if you keep searching for that answer, well... there's no telling what kind of hell you'll unleash. Dad? What did Hayley tell you? The truth. Why did Hayley lie to us? Because I asked her to. It's complicated. Can you trust her? Yes. Absolutely. And you can, too. But you can't trust me with the truth? Oh, hang on. Alexis, that's not about trust. I am your father. And from the day you came into this world, it's been my job to protect you. [Sighs] So, what's our next move? There is no next move. We let sleeping dogs lie. It's safer that way, for everyone. I'm really sorry to interrupt, but I think I found something. - On Phillip's homicide? - Yeah. I was going through Jordan Keegan's computer files, and I found something interesting. It's a screenplay. Mm. "Gemini Killers." Yeah, it's a dreadful story about a serial-killing duo. Not sure, but it might give us some insight. I've seen this before. The script? No, the... the notes in the margins here... This odd handwriting that... I know who the killer is. No, I cannot hold. I... [Siren chirping] It's Trevor Nigel. What... You're gonna have to move that. Trevor Nigel, you're under arrest. Excuse me? We found the knife that killed Phillip Harris. Along with a rather ghastly collection of human body parts. I admit nothing. Neither did your partner before he was killed. Jordan is dead? He gave me up, didn't he? I knew I should never have partnered with a screenwriter. No, Trevor. You gave yourself up. Back when your studio was doing Heatwave, I gave you notes on that horrible script you commissioned. But you sent it back to me with a handwritten note detailing why my ideas were stupid. I never forget a bad review, especially one with such distinctive handwriting. Hayley: It's the same handwriting on your serial killer partner's screenplay. Richard, you're a pretty good writer, but you should really read Jordan's work, because it is inspiring. After I read his "Gemini Killers" screenplay, I knew that I had found a kindred spirit... Someone with the same desires as I had. And his script laid out... [Handcuffs clicks] the perfect plan for us to kill... Ow! ... Without attracting suspicion. Sadly, he could never nail the end. Well, we did, and you've reached it. Maybe you should do the rewrite. Call my assistant to set up a meeting. Know what? I'm good. Besides, I think your next picture's gonna be a prison drama. - Hey, still pissed at me? - Yep. Oh, come on. I'll make it up to you the next time I'm in town. You better. [Doors close, engine starts] That was really cute. Oh, stop it. Kendall. Ha... nice to see you. How was San Pedro? Wasn't too much traffic, was there? What freeway did you take? Well played, Castle. You beat me, unfair and square. All right. Let's get this over with. Where is she? Her text said it was important. I don't know. - Let's go, then. - Yeah. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! What'd you do that for? I confronted Tyler about his bed-wetting. [Laughs] Hey, hey, hey! Look, we're sorry, okay? It's far from okay. We broke up. Well, we'll talk to him. We'll work it out. - Yeah. - No, I broke up with him. After he denied being a bed wetter, he admitted to having a fetish for... Ooh, let's just say it was nasty. What do you mean, "nasty"? Yeah, what kind of nasty things was this dude into? Get out of my morgue! Losers! The competition has ended. Richard Castle, you have solved the murder of Phillip Harris. [Applause] Thank you. Thank you very much. You're too kind. You have proven yourself worthy, and we, the members of the Greatest Detective Society, offer you a place at our table. I'm humbled and flattered, but I'm afraid I must decline. What? What are you doing? This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work with the best of the best. Not for me. I already work with the greatest detective in the world, and I cannot wait to get back home to her. But, sir, you should seriously consider Kendall for membership. She is one hell of a detective and sneaky in all the right ways. You're sure about this? Absolutely, sir. You just keep getting more and more interesting, Mr. Castle. I'm gonna have to keep an eye on you. Hayley: [Sighs] Okay. Are you not packed? I can't do it. Pack you clothes? Walk away. Hayley, I need to know what happened to me. Okay, there's one last thing. Just before you left to get your memories erased, you came to me with one final request. Like what kind of request? That if you demanded to know the truth, I show you this. What is this? It's a, uh, secret website on the dark web. What's on it? Not a clue. You installed a password that only you would know. Called it "Blair's combination." From a short story I wrote when I was 17. Never saw the light of day. What was that combination? 4 left... 17 right... 21 left. [Beeps] I'll step out. No, no. You've, um... You've earned the right to see this. Hey, there, buddy. It's me. And by "me," I mean you. And if you are seeing this, then you are an idiot, because you are trying to figure out what happened to you in Los Angeles. What you discovered about Bracken's partnership with LokSat is too dangerous to pursue. LokSat? I knew about LokSat? I am barely living proof. I was shot trying to figure out where LokSat's plane was landing tonight. I barely escaped without being identified. I am erasing our mind for a reason... To protect Kate. 'Cause if she found out, then she will die. So do not tell her what you discovered in Los Angeles, for her sake. Do you know what this means? Yes. You tracked LokSat. If we can cross-reference airports and identify what airplane landed the night you were shot, then we have a real chance of finding out who LokSat really is. No, no. It means what happened was my fault. The murders of Beckett's former AG team... In trying to protect Beckett from LokSat, I inadvertently sentenced them all to death. ♪ We ♪ are the crystal ♪ gems ♪ we'll always save the day Steven: ♪ and if you think we can't, we'll ♪ ♪ always find a way ♪ that's why the people ♪ of this world ♪ believe in ♪ Garnet Amethyst: ♪ Amethyst Pearl: ♪ and Pearl and Steven! [ Wind whistling ] We're finally home! Aww, hello house! Hello, bed! Mm! [ Laughs ] Hello, TV! We've got some catching up to do. Hello, kitchen. Hello, food! [ Groans ] Uh-oh, did that cake go bad? That was a cake? Hello, temple! Hello, beach! Hello, town! And hello, my favorite place to get a snack, the big donut! Is closed? ! Oh, hey Steven. Haven't seen you for a while! You missed all the earthquakes. [ Panting ] I was out in the field, saving the world! Wow, nice. Are you closing up? I really wanted a donut. There's got to be at least one in there. Sorry, I already set the alarm for the night. But, Sadie! I've been gone so long, and all the food in our house went bad. And I'm just starving. Um, I think fish Pizza is still open. I don't know if I'm hungry enough for a meal. But you're starving? No, I'm dying! Blegh! Well, if you're dead now, I guess you can't come by tomorrow. I won't be dead then! What happens tomorrow? If you didn't know, we started baking our own donuts after that workplace-safety lawsuit got thrown out. So if you get here tomorrow right when the shop opens, you can have the very first, fresh donut of the day. What an honor! First thing tomorrow, I'll be here right when the store opens to taste your first delicious donut of the day! Yeah, sure. Later, Steven! [ Alarm clock beeping ] Mm, 6:55 A.M. That should give me enough time to get to the big donut right when it opens at 7:00. And I can start another beautiful, Beach City day. [ Sighs ] It feels so good to be home. Hello, Beach City! It's great to be back! Whoa! I jumped super high! I didn't know I could do that! ♪ Oh, my gosh! This is a new power! It's like I'm super light! Whoop! I can jump really high and float down really slow! Jump! Float. Jump! Float. Jump! ♪ And jump! Woman: The captain has turned on the seatbelt sign. Looks like we've got some boys in the sky ahead of us. Whoa. ♪ Beach City looks so small from up here. Oh man, I want to jump around funland! Huh? Hmm. I guess it might take a while to land. Maybe I shouldn't have jumped so high. Oh, Steven, how do you keep getting in these predicaments? Hmm? Hey, it's Amethyst! She could help me! Amethyst! Hey, over here! Yo, Steven! Are you still up? Last chance for some cake! Ah, she can't hear me! I'm too far away! [ Grunts ] No, no! Look up here! [ Grunts ] Hey! Who's the wiseguy? She saw me! She saw me! Oh, there's Steven, just flyin' around. [ Chuckles ] No, Amethyst, come back! Wait, can Steven fly? Yeah, I think I remember that. No, no, I'm thinking of Lapis! Hey, Steven! How did you learn how to fly? Amethyst! Go get help! What? ! Ugh, she can't hear me. Hey, air-Steve! Amethyst! I need you to -- dang, too slow. Better ask quicker. What'd you say? I could really use your assistance dealing with the sudden appearance -- aw, rats. ...of a power which previously was unbeknownst to me which I can't control -- umm. Dude, summarize! Go get Garnet! Hmm. Well, Garnet? Hmm. What are you all doing? Steven is falling! He needs our help! I'll catch you, Steven! I think it's gonna be a while. Oh, oh, oh! [ Glass shatters ] [ Car alarm blares ] I found a phone. Whose is it? That's not important. [ Ringing ] Hello? Ground control to Steven Universe. Steven! Are you okay? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. See? He's got this. Not exactly! I think this is some kind of new power! Rose could regulate the speed of her descent. Yeah, and she could control how fast she fell. That's what I said. Steven, try falling a little faster. I can't figure out how, and it's taking forever to reach the ground. Can you guys just keep me company until I land? ♪ [ Grunts ] Ooh. ♪ Oh. [ Sighs ] ♪ Is it a broom? No, it's a spear! [ Alarm clock blaring in distance ] Amethyst: Hey, Steven, why's your alarm going off? [ Gasps ] 6:55 A.M. That should give me enough time to get to the big donut right when it opens at 7:00. Fresh! Oh, nuts! My donuts! Guys, I need to get down right now! What's the hurry, dude? You got nowhere to be. He's clearly very tired from being up all night, and he's eager to get some sleep. There's no time to explain! Just help me down! How we supposed to do that? Maybe we could weigh him down? It's not enough! Keep it coming! Oof! More, more! I don't think this is working. [ All grunting ] Nothing's working! Is there anything else you can put on me? Just this alarm clock. ♪ It's past 7:00. Thanks for trying, guys, but there's no point anymore. Sorry, Steven. Sorry, Steven. It wasn't meant to be. [ Grunts ] [ Sighs ] [ Crash! ] It was too meant to be. [ Sighs ] My first day back, and it's already ruined. I wonder who'll get my donut instead of me? Probably peedee. He'll be up for his morning jog. Mr. Smiley will have the second donut. Lars will embezzle one. Ronaldo will buy one that he thinks is a mutant. Onion'll buy one and take it for granted. And then mayor Dewey will order a dozen, and then a dozen-dozen for the whole town! And then a dozen-dozen-dozen for all the starving children in the world! [ Cheering ] But not for Steven. They'll say, "where's Steven? We saved a donut for him." But they won't see me because I'm in the sky. And then, they'll feed my donut to a dog. And then I'll die. ♪ Alas, poor Steven! I knew him well. Noooo! Huh? [ Gasps ] I'm falling! Oh geez, I'm falling. Guys! Yeah, but if he did have a jet pack, he could just put it on upside down! Uh, they still cant hear me! My phone! I dropped my phone! Why do my powers just keep coming and going? I was just so happy to be home. Wait! That's it! Happiness! My floating power's tied to my emotions! [ Groans ] Right, just like all my stupid powers! Ooh! Okay, right, I can control this! I just have to think happy thoughts and no negative thoughts! So, what makes me happy? Donuts? No, I'm not gonna get any. The beach! No, that's where I'm going to die. [ Thud ] Mom? Oh geez, those feelings are complicated. Come on, come on, brain, time's running out! I just need something that makes me happy! Something I can always depend on to cheer me up! ♪ My guys! They spent all night with me just to keep me company. No matter how much I mess up, they'll be there to help me. But if he can't control his power -- it's all right. How is it all right? By now, Steven has realized his powers are tied to his emotions. Just like I knew would happen. He's used the memories of happy and sad things to land safely behind us, ready to give us a hug. [ Grunts ] Close enough. Guys! Wait! You have somewhere else to be! What? There's no time! Run to the big donut! Run! Uh, okay! I would've liked a hug. [ Panting ] [ Gasps ] No way! No way, no way, no way, no way! Ooh! Oh. [ Chuckles ] Uh... You're just opening? I thought I was late! Late? We always open at 7:30 on Sundays. Ahh, duh! Well, you're just in time. Here you go! My treat! A fresh-baked frosted donut with sprinkles! My favorite! Ugh! Oh. Oh, bother. ♪ Look at you go ♪ I just adore you ♪ I wish that I knew ♪ what makes you think I'm so special ♪ Translated by: Yunifa Maulida Su Yawang, two days ago, an intentional homicide occured in Haide Industry Group. In that moment, why werw you there? What is your relationship with the victim? Another man was there too, what is your relationship with that man? SWEET SIXTEEN Translated by: Yunifa Maulida 10... 11... 12... 13... Raise up your head! 14... 15... - Yawang. - Yes, what? - Do you want to ride a horse? - Sure! Yes! I'm riding a horse! Xiaotian, how many countries can Wangya name, is how many push-up will you do. Brazil... Italy... New Zealand... Egypt... Singapore... Uncle Tang, I'm quite heavy now. No problem! His strength is of no use. He wants to fight everywhere. If you don't make the newspaper wet today, you will not stand up! India... Rusia... France... Thailand... Sweden... Spain... Xiaotian! Come on! Come on! Time to go! Come on! The weather is so cold! - Poor guy! - Hurry! It's still hot. Come on! Yes, drink it. You first. - How about this one? - Here! You have picked the hot one! Xiaotian... I have waited so long, so will you giving me an answer? Can you stop making joke on me? Nobody's joking with you! I am serious! You are not my type, and... we are not suitable each other, and... I... don't like girl with big face! Mr... Mr. Chen! I'm not talking about you. Who did this? Who put these porn photos inside my book? These are not mine, Sir! Really not mine! Not mine! It hurts! Sir, those are not mine really! I'm innocent! Yawang! - Yawang. - Yes... Do you want to earn some pocket money? Money? Yes, of course! What should I do? - Be a private tutor. - For whom? His name is Xiamu. His father was my best friend. When he was 4, his father lost everything in business and committed suicide! His mother could not stand the pressure from creditors, and hung herself! Most unfortunately little Xiamu witnessed this. Since then he has rarely talked and become withdrawn. By being his private tutor, you may help this kid. It looks like real one! Don't be stingy! Well, call me Sister and I'll return it to you. Yes or no? - Give it to me! - Call me Sister! How can you bite me! Let go! Xiamu, I have a question for you. You still remember, don't you? The last time you saw your mother face? Good! You may cry, scream and hit me! You're not a dummy anymore! I knew you are scared. Every night you scared, aren't you? But have you even thought about... if the way you are now is what people want to see? As of today, Sister will accompany you. You cannot just stay in this house. You have to try going out. To learn about this world again, to feel the sunshine, to feel the wind. To feel the crowd, to feel how people care about you! When did you come? You want to play? Yes. - Who is this kid? - He is my private tutor student. Superb! Right? Sort of. He is quite good. So your girlfriend is here? Chen Wei... You are despicable! Are you afraid? Where is the imposing you who beat me yesterday? Le's not disturb the business here. Whatever you want, le's settle outside. Chase! Hurry chase them! Hey Tian, I got something to eat. You are dead now! Fight! Stop it! Let them go! Kid... you are holding a toy gun, it can not frighten anyone! Type 54, 7,62 mm pistol, Cinese made. Overall lenght, 126 mm, using Tokarev bullets. Magazine capacity is 8 bullets, known as the most lethal pistol in the world! Xiamu! Don't! - Xiamu! - Bang! No! See? You are so afraid of a toy gun! Loser! - Kill him! - Xiamu, run! Stay there! Chase them! Can this bike hold all of us? - No problem. - Where are we heading to? Xiamu, don't disturb! Xiaotian, faster! Allright, got it! What if Xiamu injured? What will we do ? I don't want that happened either! In such situation, I could not stop the bike! Xiamu, let's go home. Why you only care about Xiamu? I got hurt and it is bleeding! It hurts! What's the matter? Not even one question is done? If you are being lazy again, I'll paint your face. Like a Spiderman! Did Yawang send you? - Hello! - It's on the desk. Where is the thing I sent you for? On the desk. Your potraits were in the last few pages, how come they are gone? I took them. You did? Just tell me if you wanted them. Let the master give you some guidance! No painter holds pencil same way as writing! Like this, fingers and wrist should relax. Pencil tip and paper should remain 45 degree all the time. Now your turn. Show me what you can do. Not bad! I'm tired. Let me sleep for a while. Do you really want to go? - Yes. - I have decided by myself. I really envy you. You always know what you want to do! - Did you know what life I would want? - Be a soldier! Isn't it your dream at these years? What else? We... Come on! Let me show you something. Once upon a time, inside this forest, there was two rabbits loving each other! But... there was a wolf in the forest trying to harm them! One day, tie little buck deciced to go to somewhere far away, to find the legendary flower of courage. Because the flower of courage would fill someone up with the power of justice! So that the little buck can protect the little doe forever! Travelling alone, will be faster. But travelling together, will make it longer to reach! I love you! Xiaotian! Xiaotian! Yawang! Take care of yourself! Wait for me! Xiaotian, I love you! I'll wait for you! Yawang! Mother! Father! How is it? Was it hard? - Yes. - It's allright, no problem! It's done, don't think about it anymore. Let's go home and rest. I have cooked some delicious food for you! - You came too? - Uncle asked me to come. I see, you forced to come. Yawang, I really miss you! Are you allright in the university? Sometimes, I think... You have entered the university that you want, I have entered the military academy. We are getting close to our perfect life! I told you, we will be together for not much time anymore. Let's go for it together! - I... - Is the next stop is your school? When yor class will be ended today? 5:40 p.m. 5:40 p.m? I'll pick you up. Let's watch a movie later! I don't really like movie. You don't? Then... I'll go with someone else. Don't forget to pick me up! Didn't you say that you don't like movie? I did, but I didn't say I will not go! Xiaotian! - Has the class over? - Yes, why are you here ? Didn't you say you have no vacation? The brigade dispatched us here to borrow equipment. I just want too see you, so I asked for one day off. But I have to report the task at 7 a.m tomorrow. It just one night? Many things you can do in one night! Well... The key car, it's for you. There is some clothes for change, too. Inside the packet of clothes, you'll find something you need! What is it? I'm feeling uneasy to tell it! Isn't it distracting? It is. You may take that off. - Xiamu... - It's 6 p.m. Yes, it is. 6 p.m? Sorry! Sorry! I forgot. Come here immediately! I can't go now. Xiaotian has back. Aku want to be with him tonight. Can we watch movie tomorrow night? I don't have time for tomorrow! - Then, the day after tomorrow. - No time either. Xiamu. Xiamu, it's a gift for you! Please take it! Xiamu, she has been fall in love with you for a long time! Consider I have taken it. Sorry! Is this the place? It can't be wrong. Why did Zhang Jingyu tell us to go for this place? This place is not bad! I'm scared! Let's just go home! It's okay! I'm here with you. What is going on? Yawang! Let go of her! What is happening? Run faster! Uncle Tang, don't beat Xiaotian anymore! - Stop it already! - Get up! Go to sport field and run 10 kilometers! You deserve it! Girl who not go home in the midnight, is a bad girl. Xiaotian, the time has passed. You have entered military academy. Little Xiamu is having business in the high school. And I, finally graduated dan started looking for my first job! Wish me luck! My little Mumu, come pick your sister up! Your sister has got a job today! Tell me, what do you want? - Just sit properly! - Allright! New job! New clothes! New job! New clothes! I'll be wearing this to work. Nice, isn't it? - Mother, does it look nice? - It really is! - Very good! Xiamu, eat some apples. Look at her, how happy she is! But the time run so fast, I have to start prepare for her marriage. She even don't think about it yet, is the building close? Consider also! Mr. Lin, the General Manajer. Mr. Lin, how are you? I'm the new staff Shu Yawang. - Nice to meet you! - Yawang, now I'll send you to Hade Industry Group, and take a design plan back for me. Sure, no problem! The projects of Manager Qu, have been handled by me! Besides... I have decided this! Let Yawang do it. And go to the location immediately, - to know more about the environment! - Yes. Mr. Qu, Shanhua Desig n Garden Company is here for the design plan. Thank you, Mr. Qu! You are new staff in Shanhua Gardening, right? Yes, I am . Your attitude is not bad! Excuse me! I have to deliver the plan, and leave now! Good bye! Thank you! - See you tomorrow! - Yawang! No way! You shouldn't ask me to work like a slave! Don't play around! Do you want this job? Or you can leave! Not like that! I just pout to get your sympathy. My body can not afford to work any longer. I want to cry! Oh mine! Each one of you, having done so little work, are leaving so punctually! Who is her? She is our Department Manager, eho resguested male trainees included you to work in this site. Hi. My name is Zhang Jingyu. I am Yawang's friend. What is that on your face? It's mu gaze! What age is it... that you flirt in such way? - Hello... - Stop your work! - Hello! - I have something for you! I'm in a meeting. The signal is not good. - What meeting? - Hello... - The signal is low! I'll hang up. - Yawang. Get in. I'll drive you home. Don't tell Mr. Lin that I go with Mr. Qu! Not you! Why do I have to get in your car? Just take it, or I'll stop the work! Don't you think the workers will be so pitiful? Hi girl! Do you want to have some coffee? Let's go for dinner. No! My parents are waiting at home. Being home right after work, is so boring! Since you are in hurry, we will go back faster! Are you insane? Why are you speeding up? Don't you like excitement? Stop the car! Stop it! Nobody... dislikes excitement! Why are you following me? I have driven you a long way, you should invite me to your home. What's the matter with you? Why do you keep bothering me? You can not escape from me! Let me go! Ride on! - Who is that guy? - He is a disgusting guy! If you hate him, why did you come with his car? You are right. Poor me! Everyday I face the dusty earth and burn below the sun! Dig and pant, dig again, plant again. You have to study hard! Hear me? Otherwise, you will end up like your sister! The smooth completion of our project this time, relies on the efforts and contributions of everybody! So today, is the time to enjoy! - Good! - Great! Come on! On behalf on the team, I should thank our boss, Mr. Lin, for this long period he has been taking care of us! The next is... the miracle moment! Kunlun... the secret of lost martial. The one-finger strike! - Xiaotian. - Yawang. - Did I wake you up? - No! Today Mr. Lin has rented a villa for our gathering. Villa? Where is it? I don't know. Tt's classy set up here! Feels like a prince charming is coming from the sky! This is not good! Do you want to be taken away by a prince charming? It might be! So you should come for me quickly ! Yawang, I miss you so much! - Mee too! - Oh, right... Is your new job okay? Hello? Yawang, are you still there? Let's talk about it later. Yawang, I can not use the phone too long here. - You should go home earlier! - I know. - Good night! - Good night! - What are you doing here? - Prince charming, huh? Sounds good! Here... is my villa. I lend it to Mr. Lin today. Do you have fun? Yes, I think. Thank you! Thank you? By words only? Earlier your smile was beautiful. Can you smile again? I don't like to smile! Really? You don't like to smile, - or you don't like me? - Let go of me! Let me go! Let me drive you home. Why do you keep bothering me? Why? It's not bothering, it's love! If I tell you that I don't like you, will you stop what are you doing? What you do is not love! Didn't I tell you that I have a boyfriend already? So what? As long as I like you, I will make you fall in love with me! Xiamu... Xiamu! Xiamu! Xiamu! - Are you allright? - I'm allright! Did you get injured? Don't come near Shu Yawang anymore! I come near to her, - so what? - I'll kill you! I'm okay! No need to be worry! I'd rather be the one who git hit, instead of you getting hurt! Do you know how afraid I was? How come you are still like a child, playing these? I haven't played them for a long time. What a beautiful necklace! I think I saw it somewhere. It's nothing! Get back! Xiamu, do you have a girlfriend? No! Give it back to me! - Tell me about her! - No, I swear! Give it back! Obviously you bought it for the girl you like, stop quibbling! I don't have any girlfriend! Xiamu! I... like you! Xiamu, it's only your sense of dependence. I have been treating you like my brother. Don't talk to me! Keep it on your neck! Ah... Why are we here? Surprise! Are you? It was joking! Hello? My dear! Have you lunch yet? Come and eat with me! Good! Bye now! Yawang! Xiaotian. - Do you miss me? - Yes! Lovey-dovey! Who is this? This is my boyfriend, Tang Xiaotian. - She is my colleague, Xiao Xue. - Hello! How are you? How are you? This is my childhood friend, Zhang Jingyu. This is my boyfriend! Zhang Jingyu, so you in love now? Last night was Argentina versus Switzerland. - Did they win? - Yes, they won but Argentina was so nasty! Goal in overtime! So late still watch the game! - I fell asleep last night. - What are you looking at? That guy staring at my breast! Are you that happy? Good figure, I also want to stare it! This is fake! All fake! Xiao Xue! Do you see this? This is my real face! Is it still beauty? Thank you for letting me know. Your real look! So I thought... I also should tell you. It's my real look! My father was the same. Bald head! - Xiao Xue! - Xiao Xue! Bald head. What can I do for hereditary? It's okay. Don't cry anymore! I'm sorry! I wish one day, I can use my own design to build my own garden! A place as nice as paradise! In that paradise, - will I be there? - Of course! Because of you, it becomes my paradise! Oh! Wait... When I'm graduate, let's get married, how is it? - Hello! - Xiamu, Xiaotian is leaving tomorrow... Come to have dinner with us! Xiamu? Are you still there? Someone stands beside you, would it be me? Xiamu, since we were young until now, have I not been with you? When you graduated, when you entered the university, also... when you get married, I'll be with you giving my blessings! You will do the same to me, won't you? Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for the attendance! Thanks a lot! Good! Continue! Qu Weiran, the love child is finally legitimated! Love child? People from Haide Industry said, his father had an older son with his wife. The older son likes to exploration, and got himself killed in a snow mountain two years ago. So Qu Weiran was naturally promoted to be a project manager. Qu is such a lucky guy! Yes, he is. However, the point is... Qu Weiran with his Bentley, is less adorable than our Zhang Jingwu with his broken car! - My car is fine! - Pervert! It was just a kiss! Why did you scold me? Don't you take it personally too quickly? - I was referring to Qu Weiran. - Oh... He is a pervert! Did you know? He messed with and occupied woman before. So the woman's boyfriend went to his house, beat him up and broke few ribs of him! - Good! - Really! Don't worry! I'm not like him! Then I'll be the one who break your ribs if you are! - Break my ribs? - Beat you hard! How are you? Times without you, are my wonderful times! Sounds like, you do miss me! But, what can I do? Seems like I don't miss you! What you have just said, makes me even happier than knowing you are a love child! Nice ring! - Is that from your boyfriend? - Yes, it is. You the first to know. Engagement ring. So I should congratulate you guys! When will you guys getting married? Hurry up! - I can't believe that he is still shy! - That's not related! - Wine... - Wine... Let's toast for Yawang! - Toast! - For what? An early wish to you and Xiaotian, for eternal happiness in marriage, and have a baby boy soon! Great! Have a baby boy! Drink it! I want to go to the toilet. Hurry! Whay do you want? Where is it? Let go of me! Let go of me, bastard! If you dare to touch me, Xiaotian will kill you. I always get all what I want. No! Please don't. I beg you. No! Yawang! Yawang! What happened to you? Yawang! Xiamu. Damn girl! Gone the whole night and didn't turn your phone on! What has happened? What has happened? Did you fall somewhere? No. Xiamu, What has happened? Yawang! Yawang! Are you okay? - Yawang! - Don't! Don't touch me! Don't touch me! - Yawang! - Don't touch me! Don't! - Yawang! Open the door! - Don't touch me! What is the matter with you? Yawang! Yawang! What's the matter? Yawang! Who? Who was it? Don't cry. Who? Who was the bastard? It was him! Xiamu! Don't! Xiamu! Xiamu! That is a gun shot! Yawang, don't cry ! Nobody can hurt you! Nobody can! Xiamu. Let's get out of here! Go quickly! Yawang, listen to me! Just go home! No! No way! - I can't leave you alone here! - I'm not a kid anymore! Xiamu. Auntie, what has happened to Yawang? Her phone is always busy. She never reply my message. Xiaotian, Yawang just caught a cold. She is okay. Don't worry! - Is it serious? - No. She is really okay! This is the important moment of your graduation. Let us take care of Yawang, no problem! Shu Yawang, two days ago, an intentional homicide uccured in Haide Industry Group. You are here today to help cooperating with our investigation. Shu Yawang, why were you there when the case happened? What is your relationship with the victim? There is another man in the scene. What is your relationship with that man? Where is he now? Here is the new update. One month ago in our city, the murder case that happened in Haide Industry building, has ne development. Yesterday, a woman suspect has been held by police. Since the suspect is pregnant, the police has kept her in custody waiting for trail. For further development about this case, our channel will continue to follow up and report . How is the bastard? His life no longer in threat. However, it may does not sound good for Xiamu. How about Xiamu? If he gets caught, for attempted murder, the minimum sentence will be 7 years or so. Is commuted sentence possible? If Qu Weiran gives up further charges, it might be possible. But... based on this situation, it seems impossible. This is your son's baby. What if I don't want to let him go? I will have abortion right away! Auntie, where is Yawang? From now on, you are not allowed to leave this room! When my son is awake, you will have to marry him! Xiaotian, I think... you'd better go back to academy. She is my daughter, I know her well. Being with you, she will be in agony everyday! Xiaotian, Auntie is begging you, don't contact her anymore! No! - She needs me now! - Just end it here! Both of you don't have the same fate. Listen to me! By this way, both of you can live on well. I don't care about what has happened anymore! She is my woman for all my life! Please be careful. Slow down! Get in! Stop! Xiamu! Come on. - I can't. - Don't talk! Just follow me! If you don't stop, you will spend your life in the prison! I'd kill all of you, and spend my life rotten in prison, it doesn't matter to me! Xiamu, don't! Xiamu, don't! Let's go! Follow me to a place. Where? Don't ask! Just follow me. - No way! - In case the baby is born, didn't you think about how miserable its life will be? You can not keep this baby! - But what will happened to you? - I'd rather be prisoned. Absolutely not! - I can not ruin your life! - Shu Yawang! I will be prisoned, for 7 or 8 years at most. If you keep the baby, you will ruin the life of three person! You, me, and this baby! I knew you would come. Qu Weiran, if just I'm not a soldier, I would have killed you. Good then. When you kill me, Shu Yawang's unborn baby will be the bastard. You bastard! Good. Kill me. Go kill me. Go away. Qu Weiran, live longer. Make sure you do. Once you start a happy life, I will come to make sure you never can do it. It is raining. What date is it? First of June. Xiaotian, will be graduated. Don't catch a cold! Drink it, chicken soup. Drink all of it! I'm sorry! This is all my fault! It's all because of me! Why do you cry again? Except cry, what else can I do? It's for you. - For me? - Your 18th birthday gift, one week ahead. I'm afraid to see you cry, and I can't leave you. So I wrote this letter, I have to give up myself. Please forgive me if I often lied to you. Forgive my cruelty to have your baby aborted! It's because I don't want you live in agony and remorse of youself. Xiamu! Xiamu! Xiamu! I knew that all these years, you have been treating me just like your brother. I can never replace the position of Xiaotian... in your mind. However, I'm still willing to do anything for you! Willing to be there whenever you need me! Willing to be someone most you trusted! So, Yawang. Don't say sorry for me, because... I love you! Judge, I have to accuse Qu Weiran of rape. I can not choose to escape. I don't want to see you more damage for me again. Yawang. This field sport looks just same as 10 years ago. Nothing has changed. Just like you and me! We are still what we are! We are like these trees. Although they are grown up together, there will always be a gap between them. Xiaotian, don't waste your life on me anymore! We can never be together. Yawang, it is fast to travel alone, but we can travel far when we go together! Let's just go together! I'm sorry! Yawang, I will never change! I don't want to start again, because we are not over yet. Defendant Xiamu, is found guilty of illegal possession of gun and intentional homicide. Judge has decided based on ample and factual evidences. In consideration of defendant aged less than 18 years, and his willingness to give up, and to provide all factual details of the crimes, the defendant is sentences to 7 years imprisonment. Defendant Qu Weiran is found guilty of rape, of serious intention. Defendant is sentenced 10 years imprisonment. I'm sorry! Yawang, don't cry! I'm sorry! Don't come anymore! Xiamu! I'll wait for you! I heard that there are two kinds of happiness. The first one is happiness of two lovers staying together. The second one is, to stay happy for the person we love. I don't have any other option, so Yawang, you have to be happy! Yawang! Yawang. You will never know that my basic wish was just to admire the paradise together with you. I think we will see each other in the next life. At that time, I'll be waiting for you! At that time, if you don't come, I will stay young! At that time, you would not loose me again. Translated by: Yunifa Maulida Thanks for download this subtitle! :) [elevator dings] Hey, Esther, how're you doing? Want a jelly bean? Oh, some of these are wet. That's weird. They should all be wet. I'm going to go boil my hand. MASON: There's nothing to be scared of. Just relax and go with what feels right. CLARK: This is all too much at once. You can't deny your feelings. [whispers]: It's not that easy. Ours is a forbidden love. These might be the worst sounds ever made in this room. It's not what it looks like. Yes, it is! This is exactly what it looks like. Mason and I love each other. Nope, not buying it. Mason's totally out of your league. What are you guys talking about? But you're going to tease me. No, we're adults. I'm not going to tease you. Okay. [sighs] I like Emma. [mocking]: Ooh! So you like Emma. That's big, weird news. I would use it to my advantage, but you already do everything I ask without question. Well, it wasn't news to me. I know everyone's secrets. I was head bitch on my high school cheerleading squad. Huh, you know nothing about me. Calf implants. I just, uh... looked at the brochure. Yes, Jack, I like Emma, but don't worry. I have a foolproof plan to win her over. Unless it involves some kind of enchanted amulet, I find that hard to believe. Boom! Behold. Settlers of Catan, the world's most powerful aphrodisiac. No, Jack, this is just a cover to keep prying eyes from... my eight-year plan for getting together with Emma. You're going to want to just skip past the first seven pages. Just me spit-balling our married names. "Clark and Emma Cho-Robertson." "Ark and Clemma Chorobert-cho." Page eight is where the fun really starts. Yeah, he made a flowchart of every possible path he can take to end up with Emma. It's inspiring. CLARK: It has to be perfect, Jack. I don't want to have to sit our children down one day and say, "Sorry I blew it with your mom", and that's why you don't exist." There are endless opportunities all leading to the same outcome. Oh, a newscast with your neighbors standing in front of yellow tape saying, "Oh, he was quiet and kept to himself." No. Me and Emma in love. See? Here's a section I like to call "Sub Chart 0-41A." Or "Getting Emma and I to Hold Hands." Mmm. That doesn't happen for four years? ! Clark, you are way overthinking this. In the wilderness, you act fast or you die. Or worse, you miss out on a threesome with Swedish hikers. Jack's right... Just ask Emma out. And 20 bucks says one of those hikers was a dude. Eh, they're all beautiful over there. Wait, how did you know I like Emma? [laughing]: Let's just call it women's intuition. And not because late one night I got a hankering to play Settlers of Catan, no. Clark, you have to be more like me and stop caring what people think. Don't be scared to make a move. I'm not scurred, I'm deterred. The only reason I'm not making a move is because there's a strict rule against interoffice dating, and I'm no lawbreaker. If there's one thing I know about women, they hate bad boys. Where did Jack go? Mr. Gordon, do you realize why we called you into HR? Actually, I asked for this meeting. [chuckles]: I doubt that. Uh, did we already ask you to stop your joke of saying "no way" to José in ad sales? Si, dos weeks ago. And when you lied about transitioning so you could use the closer bathroom? Who complained? Oh, was it the lady with the yellow shoes who clears her throat really loud? [clears throat loudly] So why are you here, Mr. Gordon? I'm requesting that you lift the ban on interoffice dating. What's her name and how far along is she? No, I'm not going to date anyone in the office. That's a rookie move. Which is why I'm asking for Clark. Clark? Isn't Mason a little out of his league? That's what I said! But come on, Carol, why not lift the ban? I'm not usually one to mess with natural selection, but I'm rooting for this kid, and I'd like him to find somebody. What do you say? [sighs]: Well... We'll think about it. Well, how about this: Whoever gets out of their beanbag first gets what they want? Everyone, you are now free to date people in the office. Our not very long, extremely local nightmare is over. Hey, you got the ban lifted? Yeah... isn't that what you wanted? Only when it was never going to happen! I lied before. I am scurred, I am... I'm just a big ol' scurredy cat. I just, I really don't want to mess this up with Emma. Look, I know more about women than anyone except Gloria Steinem and John Mayer. I've picked up women in nine languages, and I only know five. As Jack Gordon, colon, Man of Action... copyright pending... I'm going to help you ask out Emma. Okay, I will gladly accept your help. And I'm going to start a binder right now - with some subsections and... - No, no, no, no, no. You are not going to overthink this. My plan has one step, and that's called "taking action"... Emma! Clark has something he'd like to ask you. No. Hey, Emma, I was just wondering... [laughing]: Hey, it's Clark, from work. What's up? Pretty good, pretty good. [muttering] I just wanted to know if maybe you want to hung out sometime? Did I just say hung? Hang. Let's hang each other! Sure. We could go to Eddie's tonight. Sparkle, I'll see you there! Cool! [cackling] What up, fam? I was all, like, "Yo, babe, you and me, tonight." She was all, like, "Oh, my God! I've loved you forever, I'm so excited you asked me!" You nailed it, now all you have to do is get through the actual date. Oh, God! Emma's almost here. Any last words of encouragement? Ignore all your instincts. So Clark likes Emma. Who knew? Me. I know all the office secrets. You don't know all the office secrets. Oh, really? What don't I know? Is it about Clark? Emma? Jack? It's about Jack. [stammering]: I didn't say that. Didn't need to. Jack and... Clark? Roland? Zendaya? - Who? - It's Brooke, isn't it? [gasps]: It's Brooke! I've got all I need. But I, I didn't say anything. Hey, Emma. We're finally here. Face-to-face. [somberly]: To face. I invited Amy to our after-work hang. [breathily]: Oh... Hi, Amy. AMY: Sorry we're late. It was a crazy day at the office. I had to calculate the company's overtime, then I realized that was making me go overtime, and that I had to include that, too... ugh, my life! I could really use a drink. I'll go order two beers, Amy. Maybe they'll give me a third one I didn't ask for. Jack, help! Emma doesn't know this is a date. How can that be? You were so clear when you asked her out. I know, but she brought her friend Amy. Okay, don't panic. You just need someone to distract her friend. Oh, thank you, that is really solid of you. I didn't volunteer... oh! She's hot! I volunteer. So, how'd it go with Emma? Not great. She, uh, did not think it was a date. Neither did Kevin, the dude she ended up making out with. This whole "taking action" thing is a disaster. Except for Kevin... it's working gangbusters for Kevin. [groans] Amy's nice, but she's so boring I almost didn't have sex with her. You and Amy had sex? How did that happen? Well, that's a conversation you should probably have with a parent. Hey! Holy hell! She's boring from inside the house! Okay. She's not the first woman to stalk me after a night of mind-blowing sex. Mason, you go distract her... Dude, Amy works here, in payroll. She works here now? ! Well, she's not the first woman to get a job to stalk me after a night of mind-blowing sex. Did you guys even talk last night? She's worked here for three years. She started here three years ago just to stalk me? ! Jack? Is that you? Why'd you leave so early this morning? We could've shared an Uber. [chuckles] Oh, I didn't want to wake you... Or talk more. I've almost never been up to this floor. Now I guess I have six-foot-four reasons to come hang out. Boop! See you at lunch, bae! ALL: Ooh! I can't believe Amy works here. And why is she acting like we're dating after one casual night of the best sex of her life? Because you straight-up agreed to date her? Uh, don't you remember? Uh, no. Oh, no, Jack, did you do that thing where you only act like you're listening and instead just say "uh-huh" and "great" to everything? So nice to put a face to the paycheck. Uh-huh. This has been fun. You're a good listener. Great. Look, I'm done sleeping around, but if you think we have something real here... Uh-huh. ...then let's go back to your place. Wait, what? Oh, great! EMMA: Wait. So you only heard the part when she brought up sex? Isn't that gross, Clark? Oh... Yes, super-gross. Jack is a monster. Jack should just crawl under a bus and die! You better clear things up without hurting her. Amy is my oldest friend. [whispers]: She's 30! [whispers]: She's actually 32. Secrets. Welp, better go end things with Amy. This is not easy. Is something I'll probably say to her. See you in half a minute. [scolding] - Remember, okay, you work with Amy. - Uh huh. In the same building, every day? - Great. - Jack! Focus! Come on, she's not some Carnaval trollop you can hit and quit in Rio. You work with Amy, okay? So you better get out of this gracefully, or your life will be hell. Okay. Jack Gordon, colon, Man of Action... Copyright recently approved... Knows when to admit his mistakes. JACK: Carol, when you lifted the ban on office dating, you really pooped the bed. I'm sorry, Mr. Gordon, but getting rid of that policy was the best move I've ever made for this office. Why? Oh, Carol. Oh, God! Hey, Jack. Amy told me the good news. In my culture, when two people start dating, you give them a present. They're condoms. Hm, I really thought these would have wrappers. You seem to be enjoying this. Nice to see cocky Jack Gordon uncomfortable for once. Yeah. Especially because of that secret you have with Jack. [laughs] I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, I think you do. A real challenge... delicious! Just tell me what happened. Sex? Rehab? Embezzlement? Sex? Animal fighting? Hit and run? Sex? Roland's secret son? Damn it, woman! You're showing no emotion! How is this possible? ! I'm British. I think the real question should be, Mason, why the obsession with secrets? Who betrayed you? Mother? Father? Zendaya? Cheerleading squad? Ooh... I've got all I need. Good news! I got approval for a laptop, so now I can work up here and W-2 with my boo. Boop! Jack, you better talk to her soon. She's only booped, like, three other guys. Yeah. Man up, wuss. Hey, remember when I just called you a wuss? I'm really sorry about that. I just, I'm finally bonding with Emma. It's so exciting. Clark, you sold out a friend to score points with a girl. That means you're growing as a person. Thanks. How are you going to deal with this Amy situation? Oh, I don't know! Usually I just tell a woman it's over, hop on a plane, and suddenly she's the TSA's problem. I could help you. Uh, okay, so you've broken up with tons of girls? [chuckles]: No. They've broken up with me. I know more about break-ups than anyone except Taylor Swift and every person she has ever dated. I've been dumped by nine women, and I've only dated five of them. Wait, wait, so four strangers just walked up to you and said, "It's over"? One of them was on a bike. The point is, the times I actually felt okay with it was when the person showed they cared and let me talk through it. Okay, hold on. So the girl just rode by and shouted, "I don't want to see you anymore," and kept going? Okay. You tried to teach me how to get the girl? Now I'm going to teach you how to break up with the girl. The right way. How are you going to possibly do that? With my proven method, which is... Hold on, give me an hour. Overthinking! Are you coaching me through a breakup, or is Jason Bourne on the loose again? The reason I overthink things is because I care about what other people are feeling. That's what you need to learn: empathy. Okay, now, we don't have the time to turn you into a fully evolved human being, so I'm going to teach you how to appear to be one with the help of... Please do not say role-playing. I am Amy, you are you. Hey, Jack! Ugh, payroll! Boop! What are we doing tonight, sweetheart? Um, I'm breaking up with you. This isn't working. Boop! Very direct. But you want to leave her feeling good. Well, what do you suggest? Maybe some light over-the-clothes stuff before I bounce? Oh, my God, things are a mess in payroll, my mom's sciatica is acting up, and now you are leaving me? [fake crying] [whispers]: Touch me. Oh, no. [whispers]: Human contact... that's how you show empathy. Oh! How is the back of your hand clammy? All right, lightning round. [buzzer sounds] So there's no future for us? Well, I don't know what you're up to, but I'm going to Burger King after this. [buzzer sounds] I thought we had something. We did have something. A one-night stand. [buzzer sounds] Is there someone else? There's everyone else. [buzzer sounds repeatedly] Oh, my God! I have been trying to help you for hours, and at best, you have made zero progress. It is like you are incapable of caring. Maybe I was right: you are a monster. Wow. I'm sorry, Clark. I can tell how frustrating this is for you. No, I don't think you... Wait, what did you just say? Um, I'm sorry? Jack! You cared about how I felt! That's empathy! I'm sorry. You're sorry. - I'm sorry! - You're sorry! - I'm sorry! - I'm sorry! - I'm sorry! - I'm sorry! I'm sorry! BOTH: I'm sorry, I'm sorry... Amy's almost here. Any last words of encouragement? Ignore all your instincts. Oh, my God, Clark. Don't look, it's pornography! The worst kind... Long-form narrative. "Clark's Playbook of Scenarios to Help Jack Break Up with Amy"? Okay, I'll give in. It's my playbook of scenarios to help Jack break up with Amy. It's a little overthinky, right? It's weird, but kind of sweet. I wish someone paid that much attention to me. Maybe there's someone that does. And he's a lot closer than you think. Have you tried... online dating? Damn it, Clark. Amy, I wanted to talk to you because... Oh, I just thought of another crazy payroll story. Buckle up. It was a Friday, of course... BROOKE: Oh, no. He's tuning out. That's the look he gives me when I try to tell him... Well, just about anything. We don't have that problem. Jack thinks every other thing I say is "great"! No, no, no, he's got this, just stay focused, Jack. ...and that basic bitch had the nerve to change the margins on my profit-loss statements? Mm-mmm. Amy, I need to talk to you. Look, I jumped into this without thinking it through, and that's on me, so... What are you trying to say? [mouthing words] What I'm trying to say, Amy, is... What are you doing with your hands? [mouthing words] I realize that I have a lot of growing up to do, and you and I aren't going to make it. Are you breaking up with me? Yes. I'm sorry. AMY: Wow. I appreciate your honesty, but when I look at the balance sheet of our relationship, you're still kind of a jerk. [phone camera clicks] "Kind of a jerk." "Kind of a jerk!" - That's two steps above "monster." - Mm hmm. I'm proud of you. Yeah, I keep this up, by Christmas I'll just be "sort of unpleasant." And hey, I grabbed Emma's hand without even thinking about it. Uh-huh! - Years ahead of schedule. - Great! Oh, nice, you're doing that thing where you don't even listen to me. No, I'm interested, I just need new words! ♪ Hey! ♪ ♪ Hey! ♪ ♪ Here we go ♪ ♪ You know we got this Yeah, it's a sure hit ♪ ♪ Sticking together Yeah, here we go now ♪ ♪ We got each other ♪ ♪ Like seeing double ♪ ♪ We're in this together ♪ ♪ Rain, vain, go away Don't come another day ♪ ♪ I'm dancin' on the nine And can't come down now ♪ ♪ Sun, glitter above Shining on everyone♪ ♪ We'll catch some rays And pinky swear, we're friends now ♪ ♪ Chilling's the best thing ♪ Don't crash, don't crash. Argh, not again. Hey, Olivia. Olivia. Um... Olivia? Oh! Hey, didn't you hear the bell? I'm testing the sound on the FlowerCam Mark 3. Oh, wow! It's really coming along. And cute too. Give it a try. Testing, testing. Hello. Argh, I don't believe it. Tanya's got me detentioned for running in the hall. But school's out, everyone's running. Argh! Hmm. Hmm... Looks like the dogs took you for a good walk, Mia. They're a handful, all right. Kool Klip alert. Everyone stay calm. Guys, guys, guys- Guess who's coming to Heartlake City. It's... It's... Livi. So gorgeous. - So fashionable. - So famous. Wait. Wouldn't it be great if she heard one of our songs? Like that's gonna happen. Hey, let's record our new song now. I've been playing with the lyrics. ♪ Bring on the lights, set the stage ♪ ♪ In the mood to celebrate ♪ ♪ We'll stick together through whatever Hand in hand ♪ ♪ Let's live it up ♪ ♪ Let's live it up ♪ ♪ Don't need no boys to tell us no ♪ ♪ We refuse to be controlled ♪ ♪ Wake shooting stars Do you see us glow? ♪ ♪ We'll do what we want ♪ ♪ Whatever we want ♪ ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ ♪ Girlz ♪ We got it. ♪ You know that you can't do no wrong ♪ We got it. - Oh, the verdict? - We nailed it. Great lyrics, Andrea. Thanks. Just think. This is our chance to get our big break. I think a crazy plan is coming our way. If we can just get the song to Livi, she'll help launch my career. I'll be rich and famous. And what happened to "us"? We're a band, remember? Yeah, what good is fame if you don't have your friends? That's just it. We'll all be famous. As if. What do you want? Me'? Oh, nothing. It's just so much fun listening to you guys think you could be pop stars. We've got a better chance than you. Oh, please. If anyone's going to make it in this town, it's going to be me and my band The Teardrops. Livi is recording in my sister Megan's studio, so she's hooking me up with some sweet backstage passes. Gotta go, amigos, don't want to be late for the rehearsal. See ya. I'm sick of Tanya throwing shade on us. I gotta go. I'm late for the hotel. Come on, buddies. Oh. Mia, hang on a second. Let me get this straight. - You're going to Heartlake Hotel? - Yeah. Because you're the official dog walker? So you've got access to where Livi is staying? I guess. Olivia, memory-stick me. Voilà. The key to our success. But Tanya said that Livi's going to Heartlake Studio. Even better. Give it to her there. This is it. Stardom awaits. Argh, slow down. No, I could have done, he said... Excuse me. Yes, I'll be sure to pass that on. Thank you. Deliveries are around the back. Actually, I'm here to see Livi. I'm sorry. I thought you just said you were here to see Livi. - I did. - Oh, well in that case, go right through. Gee, thanks. Yeah, exsqueeze me. Livi is the biggest star on the planet, she doesn't just talk to anyone. But I have something really important to give her. I'll only be a minute. You'll need to speak to Megan. Uh, uh... Livi, how's my superstar? You look fabulous. Megan, you can't see me. I... I don't need to, darling, you always look fabulous. Well, I don't right now, how's the new song coming along? Oh, it's fantastic, a guaranteed hit. Great, I'll be at the studio in 10 minutes. Can't wait to hear it. Um, yeah, me too. Ciao. Wow, this new song sounds special. It better be. Otherwise, we're in for it. What'? Hello, I'm Megan, the studio manager. Hi. I'm Mia. I brought this demo for Livi to listen to, and I hope that... A demo? Don't worry, I'll deal with this. Err... Shoo, shoo. Go on, get... I'm in a band, you see. And we've got this song. And our lead singer, Andrea, she's really great. And she thinks we could be super mega pop stars just like Livi. But only if Livi hears our song, and then she can help us. Hmm... Interesting. Well, thank you, Mary. Mia. Quite. I couldn't possibly take it from you, sweetie. But, uh, Megan? Hmm... I like your spirit, Mary. Let me see what I can do. Oh, you'll take the song to Livi? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Livi's a very busy woman. - Hmm! - Hmm. Tanya, let's get going. No dogs allowed. De-de-de-de... Heads up, people. Wheres the song you've been working on? Show me what you got. I want nothing less than amazing. Yeah, hit us with the beats. - Tanya. - Yeah? Be a dear and grab me a double skinny vanilla milkshake. Oh, right. And don't forget. With sprinkles on top. Love sprinkles on top. Stop! Are you deliberately trying to sabotage me? You know what's amazing about you people? Nothing. You wouldn't know "amazing" if it sat up in your soup." This is garbage. In fact, that's where garbage belongs. Now write me an amazing hit song, or start looking for a new job. Because that's what I'll be doing, if you don't come up with a hit for... Livi, darling. Oh, my little sweetie. Oh, little Cookie, all cooped up inside here. We need to get you outside for a walk. Yes, we do. Looking fabulous as always, Livi. Spare me the soft soap, Megan. Let's hear that new song you told me about. Well, um, you see... Yes? Um... Here it is. ♪ Bring on the lights ♪ ♪ Set the stage In the mood to celebrate♪ ♪ We'll stick together through whatever Hand in hand ♪ ♪ Let's live it up ♪ ♪ Let's live it up ♪ Hmm? This isn't good. This is fabulous. I love it. Oh, Cookie shake. Oh, he loves it too. And Cookie's never wrong. It's a hit. You guys are amazing. Amazing, yes. I was just saying, the minute I wrote it, I knew it was the song for you. Well done, Megan. Come on, Cookie, let's find someone who can take you for a walk. Love the layers... Tanya, can you believe it? Livi loves the song I wrote for her. We're now officially "amazing..." Where have you been'? An ice-cold milkshake for you. Forget the drinks. I've got just the task for you. If you do it well, you can record your own song, become rich and famous and make a gazillion new friends. How does that sound? I'm all ears. Uh... - Oh. - That was, um, original. Thanks. It's called Funky Sitar Groove To The Max. Oh, Yeah. Uh... I might change the title. You should totally record it. No, it's not there yet. Still needs some tweaks. Not from what I've just heard. Let's do it. Olivia does all the recording. I don't know how to work the equipment. It's easy. All you do is press "Record," this button right here. I guess. It'll be fun. We need to capture the moment. The world needs to hear Funky Sitar Groove To The Max. Funky Sitar Groove To The Max. Oh, Yeah. Exactly. Okay. Here goes. Oh. Out of sight. Really? Let's play it back. - No. - Mom. - No. - Mom, no. No, no! Mom, this is for Casey's own good! Casey? Take my hand, Casey, I'm right here. Police! - Up the stairs. Let us go, ma'am. - Please! They're coming! The police are coming! - Casey... - No! - Yes. - No, you don't understand. Get out of the way! Ipse venit. No, no! No! You can't interrupt it. Get off me. - Let go of me. Casey! - Mom. - Casey! - Mom, this is for her own good. You can't! Please, clear the hallway. We've got to get in here, ma'am, please. What are you doing? No! No! - No, you don't understand. - Back here, please. - The man is a priest. - No, no, no, come on. You can't stop this. Don't! No! Let go of me! Let go! - Casey! - Mom, Mom, please. Please, this is for her own good. Let me go! You can't! You'll kill her. You can't take her. You'll kill her. - Casey, Casey! - Mom, Mom, please. Please, it's for her own good. Can we clear the hallway, please? Mr. and Mrs. Rance, I know this is a very difficult moment for you. Please know that everyone here is here for you. If there's anything we can do, you just let us know. Your daughter's on the way to the hospital. She's gonna receive the very best care available. But we're really gonna need to talk about what happened here tonight, Mr. and Mrs. Rance. 724, this is dispatch, over. 724, this is dispatch, come in. Breaking news now, the Andersonville family of a missing young woman is fearing the worst this evening after her disappearance two nights ago after a deadly ambulance crash. Casey Rance was being transported to a local hospital when her ambulance suffered a bizarre and deadly crash. Authorities have declined to state the nature of Miss Rance's underlying illness, but they have issued every assurance that she will be found. As police superintendent and as a father with children of my own, I can guarantee no one here will rest until Casey is safely brought home to her family. Ipse venit. Himself... is coming. He... is coming. What am I gonna do with you? You need to warn His Holiness. Casey! Henry? Sweetie, what is it? Angela, is there something you need to tell me? I'm sorry. I've been very selfish lately. I haven't really let you in, have I? Henry, if you won't talk to me, if you won't tell me what's troubling you, how am I supposed...? You need to confess. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Hello? St. Anthony. He was the patron saint of... Uh... lost things. I thought that was St. Jude. No, St. Jude is lost causes. So how can you tell when something stops being lost and starts being a lost cause? We're going to find Casey. People don't just disappear. Well... That's the problem, isn't it? She was disappearing... before she was ever lost. Henry's illness... Kat's accident... Casey. Why did you become a priest, father? Was... was there...? Your grandmother. That's right. El Papa Mexicano. I love that story. Yes, um a story. My parents split up when I was... quite young. My father, never saw much of him. So I lived with my mom. My friends were mostly... well, her friends, adults. Always moving, always changing schools. It was when we lived in D.C. that... they called it a nervous breakdown. Except it wasn't a breakdown. You know how sometimes kids have an imaginary friend? I had one. To me, he looked like a... little red bird. He could do just about anything. Correction. He could make me do... just about anything. At first he made me feel special. Then... I can't remember most of it. Thankfully. Post-traumatic amnesia, it's called. Afterwards, I just wanted to move on with my life, put it behind me. But my mother, she was always finding new ways to use my story to make a buck. "This is the path God gave us, sweetie, use it." But I... I ran away from all that. Changed my name. I never told her where I went. I never saw her again. I... I reinvented myself. But it didn't matter. No matter what I did, I chose Angela. Angela. Like a name would protect me. That I dreamed I could have a life, a chance. Didn't matter. It wasn't done with me. It's coming for me, Father, I know it. _ My name is Regan MacNeil. I'm Chris MacNeil. I've come to see my daughter. I don't want to go. Go home. You know the way. I don't want to go. You'll be fine. Trust me, just go. You're too young to come, Jesse. You won't even like it. *Jesse: Mark! * Just go! We'll see you later. Come on, Mark. Go! Dad, my pocket money! Money, money, money... It's all you think about. I thought you might like this. Thanks Dad. Thanks I'm good, but thanks. Come on, sit down. Stop it! Come on! - Morning! - What do we got? Dead woman's bag was found in a hotel room. No wallet and no phone, so no ID. Didn't she check in? Was checked in under the name of Ben Jackinoff. So I think it's fair to say that's a pseudonym. No details yet but I've got something to show you. - Potential murder weapon? - Alright, I'll check that in a bit. - We got a description of a man? - Fairly general. Well how was it paid for? Didn't the hotel take a credit card swipe? Cash and there is only CCTV on the outside of the building. But the manager did offer us something useful. He recalls the woman going outside to take a mobile phone call. And it's time coded so we can trace it. Yeah but without knowing what network she was on, how long is that gonna take? Right now it's all I've got. Alright, put in an aircomms request with all the main providers. I want a name and address as soon as possible. If you want my opinion, from the blood on the back of the door the attack looks like it started when she came out of the bathroom. Ally, you be the victim. - Why me? - Because you're... Alright, you be the victim. Go on, get in touch with your female side. She should probably have a leak in the bathroom. You don't have to do that part. When she comes out... she gets a blow to the back of her head. Now it's bad but doesn't kill her. She goes on the bed. Now she's probably out cold when the attacker comes at her again. Are you enjoying this? Now, the attacker is covered in blood. The traces we found in the bathroom, I reckon he took time to wash before making his or her - equally - exit. Where are you going? I've just bludgeoned you to death. Mark! Happy birthday! I was just out for a run, so I, erm, I thought I'd surprise you. - Right. - Life lesson there, isn't here? Should never turn up unannounced. I saw him leave. So what was Kenton doing here? Did he stay the night? Laura, can you talk to me please? Is there any point in lying? Why would you do that? He's my husband. You said it was over Yeah, it was. Was? Past tense... wow... Oh my God! Who cheats on their lover with their husband? I have to go to work. That's all you've got to say? - Do you want me to lose my job? - No, I don't want you to lose your job. I just want you to tell me the last few months have meant something to you. You said it was over between you two, Laura, finished. You told me you wanted something different. Nice ass, Britny. Britnay! "Nice ass, Britnay!" Brit! Psychopath then, is it? Being bludgeoned to death with hammer, I think we can rule out manslaughter. Shame, really. She's quite hot. Yeah, that makes it so much worse! Forensics report, from Ken. With the DNA results from the plaster found at the scene. The ones I asked for half an hour ago. Erm, we were training, Danny. That shit is sacrosanct. Yeah well, as long as your abs are ripped. Don't wish for it, my friend. Work for it. Hello, Birthday boy! Alright mate? - Happy birthday. - Thanks you alright? Got you a gift. It's still in the shop. Oh man that's perfect! 'Coz I can just collect it when I get yours next month. No Laura? No, no, she had a work-thing and couldn't shift things around. Couldn't shift things around? I'm not 6, Slade. I'm only doing this for my mum. Have you heard from Danny? No, has he not called? Maybe he couldn't shift things around. Hello, I'd just like to say a few words. You know it's a celebratory moment for a father when you look at your son, your baby, and you realize that he's reached the age where he can no longer call himself young. Because if he is becoming an old fart, then where does that leave me? A gravedodger? So I'd like you all please, to raise a glass. - Ignore his crows-feet and his receding hairline. - Thanks mate. And wish a happy birthday, to my little boy. To Mark. Happy Birthday! Sorry, sorry... I wanted to say something too. As you all know, we've had some difficult times in the past. I have two sons. Mark... and Jesse. Hey mom... But only one of them is here every year on his birthday. Alright, Julie. - Happy birthday, son! - Happy birthday! Cheers! Sorry Don't be sorry. Are you OK? I love you. Me too. Mom, I'm just gonna go say 'hi' to Danny, okay? Two secs. Hey man, you OK? - Yeah, I'm sorry I'm late. - It's alright mate. Yeah listen, I need to talk to you about something. Alright then. What is it? It is a... There's a case I'm working on. It's a murder. And we've found something at the scene. What? It's blood but it's not the victim's. We ran some DNA tests and there's a match. Mark, it's Jesse. The DNA, it's Jesse. He's alive. - So you're saying he's a murderer? - No, nobody is saying anything. 20 years, 20 years, what the hell! I don't know. Nobody knows. So his DNA is at a murder scene... and he's not the victim, so what does that leave? Is he a witness or is he just someone who happens to be there? I'm gonna double-check the results. I'm gonna triple check them, okay? There's a possibility that the DNA is old. 20 years! I'm saying it's possible, okay? He may not have been there. Mark, just think about it. It's Jesse! - I know. - It means he's alive, yeah? Yeah I know, you're right. I know, I know... It's what we always wanted, isn't it? Oh man, it doesn't make any sense to me. What am I gonna tell my Mum, Dad? Nothing, not yet, okay? Look, I shouldn't even be talking to you guys. I could get fired. Sorry. This thing could end up being public. I mean it's the sort of thing the papers have been all over. Yeah well, if it comes to that we'll let them know. But don't you think there's someone else we should tell? Someone who was with us that day. Pru? Come on. Dad, I wanna ask you something. Do you remember him? This is Jesse, Dad. You remember he went missing as a young boy? It's a case you worked on when you were a copper. Jesse, Alan's boy. He's back, Dad. Jesse's come back. Leave her! Dad? Look at him. - Take his face away from me, please. - Dad, he didn't do it. He admitted to it. And you believe that? Dad I know he wrote you letters. - I destroyed them, they gave me the creeps. - All of them? - Yes. What about mom? Did she keep any of them? You know what? You're gonna have to ask her that. What is all this, Mark? It was 20 years ago. Why are you bringing all this up again? Here we are, one chicken curry and one lamb tagine, sir. Enjoy it. - Disgusted or not you must have read them. - Yes, of course I read them. - And? Well you know he wanted us to meet him. Wanted us to a... to talk. - But of course we wouldn't entertain the idea. - Why not? 'Coz he killed your brother. OK, he admitted it but there was never any evidence. Oh, Mark, come on. He was seen in the area the night Jesse went missing. - He killed 4 other children. - No, no. His other victims was older. It's a different MO. - He admitted it, Mark. - Tell me then why does everyone keep on talking like he's suddenly gonna turn up one day Because of your mother. Why do you think we don't live together anymore? Because she can't move on. Now look, he is dead, Mark. Jesse is dead. And this is... ? We have to do a 100. Every hour, on, the hour. I need you to double-check these forensic results. Why, what's the problem? The problem is they don't make any sense. Can you stop that? We've had a DNA hit from the Missing person database. - From a kid that went missing in 1995. - What? Yeah, so how about you you stop pressing with your boyfriend and check it again? Thanks. Is that Pru? Yep, under her married name. Pru Carew. Yeah, it's unfortunate. Oh, to think she could have been Mrs. Mark Wells married to a hot-shot lawyer. And we're back in the playground. No look now, she... she is back. She's working at the Windsor Lockwood Clinic. Why would she come back without telling us? If we're gonna start unraveling the mysteries of female logic, we're gonna need stronger drinks. The question is, knowing what we know about Jesse do you want to see her? - Yeah, I guess. - Good! I messaged her, she said tomorrow's fine. Danny! - Slade! - Hey darlin'. Hey Pru. Mark, hey. So amazing to see you again. God, how long has it been? - 16 years. - No that can't be. You're looking great, really. So are you. And I know I am. - Not a day older older, apart from... from the grays. - What? That's big news. Are you OK? Oh, uh, fine, yeah. You know, it's a shock. Hell of a shock. We're working to find out more. Well Danny felt... and we all felt that since you were there that day, you know, you had a.... you had a right to know. Well I thought about it a lot. Every year on that day. I always remember the date, every year. So, when did you get back from the States? 2 years ago. 2 years? I know, I know. I should've contacted you all. But you know how it is, it's just work and I married an American. Stuart's a workaholic. And, well, I've got a little girl now, Nico, she's nearly 6. Ah, she's cute. I have 3 myself. Which is at least one too many. I kept meaning to, I kept putting it off. And then one month turned into 6. I don't know, I don't know... You don't have to explain anything to us. We're big boys, aren't we? Here we are. It's happened. The 4 of us. Grown up. And Slade running a shelter. How did that happen? Says the doctor... Private doctor, actually, so... My socialism has gone out the window. Blame the Americans. Well, assuage your conscience. Come and visit. See how we do things. I might enlist your services. I'd like that. Good. - We should all keep in touch. - Definitely. Mark, pay me more attention. Mark! This is the last time that you see me. I wanna go to Marosi. Are you out of your mind? I want to look him in the eye and I just wanna ask him some questions. I really dont't think that's a good idea. He said that he killed Jesse. So I just wanna meet him. And either you gonna help me out or I'm gonna have to sort this myself. Hello, Mr. Wells. I want to talk about my brother. I killed him. I chose him, I took him and I killed him. Three acts, simple. I don't believe you. They found the bodies of the other 4 boys that you killed, but not my brother. Why not? I burnt it. Why would you do that? Because he was younger. And what I did to him... was disgusting. I like young boys. And I liked Jesse. A lot. You're already facing life for the other 4 boys that you killed. So you took the rep for Jesse in order to secure yourself privileges in prison, didn't you? Get yourself back on the front pages. He was crying. Very, very upset. He wanted to go home. To his mommy. And I wanted to send him home. But I knew I couldn't. Then I told him I would take him. I put him in my car, started driving. He kind of cheered up. But of course I wasn't taking him home. I was taking him... somewhere else. - You're lying. - Am I? Who else is lying about that day, Mark? Are you? Are your friends? Jesse was crying when I found him. Who made him cry, huh? The DNA tie-in with the missing kid is potentially huge. For now this cannot get out. We dig away until we know exactly what we are dealing with. Don't want journalists banging on my door. Danny. The murder victim is yet to be ID-ed. But we are tracing her mobile as it's possible the killer might have taken it with him. Next. Now given the reputation of the murder location and the manner of her dress, we're working on the possibility that she was accepting payment for sex. So it could be a disgruntled client, partner of someone. Or drug-related. Every hooker I've encountered has been an addict. We all know how many hookers Mickey's encountered. Yeah, it's very funny. As for the DNA findings, Didn't you know this kid? Weren't you there that day? He was a brother of a friend of mine. I don't intend to let that cloud my judgement. I'm gonna deal with this case like I deal with any other: professionally. Alright, the murder weapon... Daddy! I need to tell you something. Right now ? No, mom, tomorrow night. Now, of course now. And this is ? We were married for 23 years, Mark. You both need to hear this. I told you, didn't I? I told you I knew he was alive. It's a mistake... It's a mistake. It's been checked, it's DNA. It's a mistake ! Alan! Accept it. What accept that he's alive ? Give myself that hope only to have it dragged away again? - We are gonna get our boy back. - I would give anything... anything to put my arms around my son again. But what is this, where does this leave us? Just like when he went: with a million of questions and no bloody answers. Alan, Alan don't walk away. - I can't do this again. - Don't do this to me. Don't walk out when I need you the most. Please don't do it again. Like what you see ? She's just the greatest kid. I know it's a terrible parent cliché but she just makes me laugh like no one else I know. She sounds great. - You should meet her. - I'd love to. So, what about you ? Nothing like that on the horizon ? Fatherhood, responsibility ? Me ? No, not a chance. Slade said you're seeing someone. Yeah, I am. Laura. She's great but you know, early days. - Are you serious about her ? - I'm crazy about her. Is she about you ? Of course she is, look at me. I'm a hell of a catch. She's just... honestly she's just a bit scared to take it to the next level. Anyway. Tell me about... Stuart. We met in the States. He worked in the building next to the hospital where I was working. So, I was seeing him all the time. I've never thought I'd end up with someone in finance. But he's just one of those people. He gets what he wants. And I guess he wanted me. You know what? I've really missed you over the years. Me too. You know you're the only person I was ever able to talk to. After Jesse... Why didn't you contact me when you came back ? You know, no bullshit, Pru. Just the real reason. I don't know... I just thought... The past was better left there. It's Slade. Just checking to see if you're OK. Where are you ? I'm just out. - Out where ? - I'm just out with a friend. A friend ? Yes, Slade, a friend. I do have them. Put her on. Sorry ? Pru. Put her on. Hi, Pru. How is he doing ? He didn't seem too good the other night. Yeah he's fine, considering. - Did he speak much about Jesse ? - Not really. - Did he tell you he went to see Marosi ? - No. He's bottling it up, he's dealing with all of this on his own. I bet he didn't tell you his girlfriend dumped him. Hold on one second. Alright you lot, leave him alone. What's going on, Stevie ? Talk to me. I don't want to take it. I think you should kick that ball as hard as you can. Go for it. Listen to me, Pru. He's going through a lot right now, so... promise me you'll be there if he needs you. I promise. Ok, great. Bye. I think I have one for you. Please... Please... It's all right. I'm here to help you. Mark, it's me. Listen... I need Pru's number. She should be in a hospital. No, sorry,no can do. Hospitals require all kind of information. - No, you're doing great. - She needs an internal scan. Did she have anything on her ? A phone or ID ? She is yet to speak. Slade, you dragged me into this, yeah? And I want things done properly. This girl has been attacked. And that to me requires the police. Listen, if we call the police then we lose that trust. And if we lose that trust then we have nothing. No police, no. So what are you gonna about it ? How did the meeting with Marosi go? Yeah, it was wonderful. Listen mate, can you get into work? I'm still here. Why ? OK good. So I'm gonna send you a photo of a girl. Have you had a girl reported missing recently looks who like this ? She's got a really distinctive birth mark below her eye. What's this about ? - I can't tell you that yet, mate. - Let me just get this straight. So I'm in the middle of a murder investigation and I'm dead on my feet. And you want me to talk to Missing Persons and God knows what, risking my career for God knows why. And you expect me to do this just because we're friends? Yep, pretty much mate, yeah- I'll call you if I find anything. Hey, any luck tracing the dead woman through the phone networks? Nada, zip, nichts. Yeah, a simple "no" is fine. No. Is there any news, mate? Yeah, her name is Gemma Morgan. She's officially a missing person. And since when ? Well, here's the kicker. She disappeared 5 years ago. 5 years ? Jesus-Christ ! My brother went missing, too. When he was 5 years old and... we've never seen him again. It's hard on those that left behind. you know. You've been missing for a really long time, Gemma. Where have you been ? Were you with someone ? Did someone take you? Were you hold against your will ? You can tell me. Nothing bad is gonna happen to you. We'll do everything we can to help you. Were you held? Can you tell me where you've been? Not just me. I'm not the only one. There are more. More? I mean how many? What are we supposed to do about that? Tread carefully. The last thing we want to do is to freak her out. We'll do just one piece of information at a time. No, this is massive. You know maybe Pru was right. Maybe we need to get the cops in on this. - Tell Danny, at least. - No no no, not yet. Don't you just love the city at night? I wish I was one of those insomniacs. I could live my whole life at night. Well, except I'd probably get rickets or something. - Try a doughnut? - No, I'm alright, thanks. Where is she? In there. So what's the story then? Just look after her, make sure she's OK. Help her settle in. - Be kind. - Yeah, good. Ready? Brit! No, I should check it. Let me guess: work? What? We have finally finally traced the mobile of the victim from the scene where we found your friend's DNA. Her name's Annie Green. For the best bit, it's turned on. - You saying we track it? - Already on it. Alright. I have to go. Momma, my sister, I have to go. - Go. - I'll see you later. - I'll come back. - Go. Chopper is on the way there now. OK, everybody listen up, I'm gonna take the front and I want 2 cars out the back. Come with me. Ally, you're round the back. Hold the door. He's gone upstairs. Police! He's moving south on Craig Street, moving south on Craig Street. Are you OK? I'm fine, get him! He's entering the building. Mickey! I've lost him. He's heading towards the east of the building, east of the building. Got him? Are you Jesse? Are you Jesse? Tell me if you're Jesse! Just tell me if you're Jesse. Are you Jesse? Used Sonia Eschbach's sub as a base for sync with help from Hellie English text by Myca87 regenbogenora e. Just checking to see if you're OK. Where are you ? I'm just out. - Out where ? - I'm just out with a friend. A friend ? Episode 2 Wow, it's going really fast! Wow! Wow, it's so pretty! It's so pretty! This one is totally pretty too. Wow. Yay! Woah, hey, hey. It's totally cool. Oh, no! What's wrong with that one? I knew that would happen. Synced ripped by bozxphd Subtitles by The Blue Sea @ Viki Who is it? Don't be afraid and come on out. It was a fated bond that should not have been made, but since it has already been made that fated bond will definitely continue. They will meet again. So you're saying their two fates will continue to be connected, so if I just keep following the town head, I may be able to catch her again. You told me not to be afraid, but actually are you not the one who is afraid? Can you speak? There's no reason that a mermaid can't do what a human can. Then why did you not say a word that day? I did except that it wasn't heard. Today is a happy occasion celebrating the newly appointed town head. I thought to prepare for all of you a rare spectacle. Please save me. Mermaids can hear each others' minds so there's no reason to speak. Then can humans not hear the minds of mermaids? A long time ago a boy loved a mermaid and heard a mermaid's voice. And what happened to the boy who loved the mermaid? Can we meet again? If wish lanterns float above the sea I will take it as a signal that we're to meet again. Are you watching him closely? There's nothing special, right? No. Nothing as of yet but. - But... Town head is asking something strange of his soldiers. What? ♫ Yesterday and today ♫ ♫ On top of the deep ocean ♫ ♫ Without any sound ♫ ♫ A blue night is coming down ♫ ♬ Over the waves ♬ ♫ My mind which has been wandering around. ♫ ♫ Coming back to this ocean ♫ ♫ And waiting for you. ♫ ♫ The story of star lights ♫ ♫ Those who have been telling the story ♫ ♫ As if you are dreaming, it is spreading out ♫ ♫ It's the time. ♫ ♬ To a heart I couldn't own ♬ ♬ A wave of a cloud is gushing in ♬ ♫ Your tears which have been watching it ♫ ♫ My breath that's going further away ♫ ♫ Even that's becoming clouded and stained ♫ ♫ Hidden in the ocean ♫ ♫ a sad story ♫ The Legend of the Blue Sea Do you know what I hate the most? Leaving without saying goodbye. That's why I came, to say goodbye before leaving. There's no other reason. Anyway, I've done what I've come to do, so I'm leaving. Drink it. Just a minute. Synced ripped by bozxphd Subtitles by The Blue Sea @ Viki That's right. Like that. Stop blowing now and drink it. Do you really have nowhere to go? Whether a house or dorm or a contact person or the cell phone number of someone you know? A guardian or a friend or something like that... Who am I talking to right now? I should have just left. I think that I've been caught right well and good. I'll go and wash up so go change into this for now at least. Hotel What the...? Seriously, Hey! Turn on the light! Give it. Give it here! Are you, by any chance, being coy? Don't! Don't do that! Don't be coy! My ideal type is an intellectual woman. A complete opposite of you! Don't look at me lubriciously like that. Just in case you misunderstand, I am telling you clearly. The reason I brought you here is because the day is almost over, it's raining, and your screw is a bit loose, so, "I'll let her stay just for one night." That was all! So, "Oh, my! Is this man interested in me?" "Should I use the opportunity to hook up with him somehow?" Let go of this kind of futile expectation or hope. Wake up from your dream, I tell you! Hmm? She is... horny! ...cannot be connected. After the beep- Who? The guy that you went to KAIST with? Is that guy ignoring you call again? I'm going to be working overnight in the lab since some important pieces came in. Again? How nice would it have been if you had just gone to med school and become a doctor like your mom had suggested? That c-c-conser-whatever that you're saying you... Conservation science, Unni. If you say that medical science is extending the life of humanity as it's goal then conservation science is an important work that extends the life of humanity's cultural heritage. Sure. Hurry and go extend the lives of those ceramic pots, ink stones, and those kids. But did Ji Hyeon's aunt graduate from KAIST? That's why she acts so high and mighty like that all the time. Why? My son went there too. The one you brag about all the time, the one you say is so handsome? Yes. When my son was young, his eyes were so pretty when I took him out it was hard to walk ten steps straight with him because people asked so much if they could hold him and touch him. That son was even so good a student? It's a difficult age for a dragon to be born from a small stream. (IT'S DIFFICULT TO GO FROM RAGS TO RICHES IN THIS DAY AND AGE) It's not a small stream. What? It's a very wide and blue sea. What's she saying. Do you have some great background that I don't know about? What is it? As if. What would she have? Seriously. That ajumma knows how to subtly put on airs. Yeah. Unni Jin Ok can't come today? Why? She was scammed? You want me to h-hold it? The rumors are already spread all over this place that I was scammed by con artists. I'm so embarrassed that I can't even face anyone. Jang Jin Ok, the name that used to have influence everywhere I went, it's become so that I can't use it anywhere now! Then... simply change your name. It only takes a week. Do you really want to die! No. I have to be cool-headed about this. I-I heave to be cool-headed about this. Here. Take this. Ok. Then what should we do now? We should catch them. That's right. No amount of money is too large. Catch them. After screwing up my good son's life, and making me this embarrassed. My husband is getting a tax audit... I mean... can he persecute us like this just because we have money? Of course not. Make sure to catch them, especially the punk who pretended to be a prosecutor, make sure to catch him. Even if you have to kill him, catch him. Ah! You scared me. Hey! You scared me. Hey, hey. Why are you acting like this? You came recently. Yes. You were born in 1980, year of the tiger, right? Your parents didn't register your birth early or late, right? Do you look at any half good-looking man with that kind of nauseating gaze...? Are you a crazed fan of pretty faced men? Fine. Watch, watch. Watch as much as you want. I'm going to sleep. I'll hear the good news first. The good news is... Synced ripped by bozxphd Subtitles by The Blue Sea @ Viki Ah dah~ Ah dah~ Say, "hello" That's how we greet. We've already forgotten that place a long time ago. We can't remember that distant time long ago when life first sprouted in the sea to when we stepped onto the land to live. (THE LEGEND OF THE BLUE SEA) What is the sea to all of you? How many times a day do you think of the sea? What are you doing? Did you stay up all night like that? How old are you that you've fallen for a celebrity? Are you a crazy fan girl? Stop watching and give it here. Hello? Oh, my... Do you guys seriously eat this shit? Okay, alright. Alright, saved by mum. The best way to actually just stop her from calling is... I don't know, answer it. Yeah, it's kind of like a can of worms I just don't wanna open right now, so... She's worried. You're her son. You've been travelling, and I just think if you speak to her, then... Yeah, well, I still live at home with her back in Syracuse. - That's cool. That's fine. - Yeah. I was taking care of my dad. Oh, shit. Is he...? - ...okay? - No, he died. - Oh, my God. I'm sorry. - Last year. No, it's okay. It was coming for a while. It was early onset Alzheimer's. Oh, that must have been really... uh... tough. Yeah, he was my best friend. Sometimes he'd just look at me and wouldn't even know who I was. Well, my mum, like, I don't even... I don't know how to talk to her. You know, I don't have that connection. I don't even know where to start. So that's why I left. That's why I went on this trip. Just to get away and make, you know, all the memories that I can... while I can. And I know I gotta talk to her and I gotta just... But not on this. You know, I just... I'll deal with it. I'll deal with it when I get back, you know. I'll just... You're a good guy, Cooper. Call your mum. Zero, zero, one, nine, three, nine, two, nine. No, I did not buy a pair of sandals in Koh Samui last night because I'm in... And how long does that take? Because I need to buy a ticket back to America. Oh, my God. Mm-hmm. Can I just say, this is the most blatant cover story for a second hook-up ever? Yes! Yes! Oh, my God. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Alright. Don't forget your bag. The bag, yep, my bag. Alright. You are a top bird. I don't know what that means, but I heard somebody say it once, and you're it. I got a plan. Yeah. It's odd jobs. - For who? - For, like, it's an app. You can kind of... like, I've used it all over when funds were low, so... - Oh, there's some interesting ones. - Pretty cool. - "Thrillseekers wanted." - Ooh. - This looks right up your street. - Okay. Okay, four pound signs. That's a biggie. That's good. It's a little out of town. And some kind of play test deal for a company called Saitoo... Saitogoo... - SaitoGemu? - SaitoGemu. Yeah. They're huge. - They're really big. - Really? - Horror games? - Uh... Have you heard of... Oh, what's one of theirs? - Harlech Shadow. - Harlech Shadow? Yes, I have. I used to play that in my buddy David Ludwig's basement when we were, like, seventh grade. Well, that's Shou Saito. It's his company. - He's like this genius, super secretive. - Okay. And apparently, they're working on this new project. Big money involved. Groundbreaking. But nobody knows anything about it. Well, maybe if I play my cards right I can get you an exclusive with Shou. Hmm? Fo Shou? Yeah? You should take a photo. Seriously, if you get a photo of anything that they're working on, that's a fuckload more money than four pound signs. Cool. Well, where is this place? Mr. Copper. Oh, hi. Um... Just Cooper. Mr. Cooper, I apologize. Just Cooper is fine. Then, in that case, I'm just Katie. - Hi. - Hi. - Follow me. - Oh, yeah. - I'll just get my pack here. - Rav will take care of that. Oh, Rav will take care of that. Okay, great. That's good. I don't wanna carry it anyway. Rav kind of reminds me of like an end-of-level boss. You know, haiukon. Just... - How was your journey? - Great. Thanks. - The car pick you up okay? - Yeah. Wow. This way. Are they... seeing? It's cool. Very cool. Wow. Come on. Feel like I'm gonna go meet Dumbledore. Hope I get Gryffindor. I'm gonna need your phone and anything else you might use to send and receive. - A little paranoid, don't you think? - Can't be too careful. Okay, there you go. Wow, you really are paranoid. Whoa! It's white. Um... Okay, so I'm guessing this says, like, I agree to have my kidneys harvested? Actually, it's a pretty standard NDA-disclaimer thing. Okay. It's important that you realize there is a small medical procedure involved. Sorry, for a game? Nothing permanent and we don't harvest your kidneys, - I promise. - Okay. It's no more invasive than having your ears pierced. "Confidential information, brain downloads the game, duration, termination..." Um... The signature page... - Where do I sign? - Oh. - Signature. Yeah. - There's a page missing. - Okay. - Just a moment. Alright. I'll just wait... here. What the fuck? - All good? - All good. What we're working on is an interactive augmented reality system. - Like VR? - More like layers on top of reality. Oh. Okay. Um... Ow. Um... - What's that? - We call this a mushroom. - Like Mario Brothers? - If you like. - You're qualified to do this, right? - I haven't killed anyone yet. May I? Yeah. All done. - That was it? - See, I told you I'm good. - No, don't worry, it's not permanent. - Um... Okay. What is this, like, some kind of memory test or something like that? - You'll find out. - Oh, okay. You might feel a slight twinge as it initializes. Oh, okay. Commencing at 5:38. - You ready? - Yes, sir! Nearly there. I thought I turned that off. - All done. You feel okay? - Uh-huh. Feel great. - Watch the targets. - Okay. Um... Is... What do you see? Like a... um... Like a video game gopher. - Is it more detailed now? - Yeah. Yep, yeah. - And now? - Holy fuck! Holy shit! He... Fuck. He's right... He's right... He's right... Can I... Whoo! He's not real. He's a sort of mental projection. - You can see him. I can't. - You can't? Wow! Oh, okay. Give him a whack. Give him a whack? Oh. Okay, alright. Okay! Alright, so just like whack-a-mole. - Mm-hmm. - I've played it a million times. Okay. Alright. Here we go. Come on up. Oh! Where you coming up? No. No. No. Oh! Oh! Alright. Stay down. Oh! Okay. Good game. Very good game. You are so adorable. Okay, bye. Bye. - Is that it? - Afraid so. Oh. Now, were the gophers two-dimensional or three? Three. No, no, no. 3D, super 3D. Like... Yeah. - Now this is just a limited test demo. - That was a demo? I think you should beta test the full experience we're working on. There'd be more money in it, of course. If you're game? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh, I'm game. I'm game. - This is Shou Saito. - Oh! - You must be our latest volunteer. - Hi. This is really great. Hi. Hi. I just... I wanted to say that the mole game, super fun. Super fun... fun. - Fun? - Fun. - Fun is good. - Yeah. Oh. - Playing games is good. - Mm. Your heart goes faster. - You smile. - Yeah. Yeah. Or, um... scream. Oh! I have always liked to make the player jump. Frightened. You get scared, you jump. - Afterwards, you feel good. - Yeah. You glow. Why? Oh, um... Because of the adrenaline rush. - Yes. - Yeah. But mostly because you are still alive. You have faced your greatest fears in a safe environment. It is a release of fear. It liberates you. Yeah. I mean, totally. What we are working on now is the most personal survival horror game in history. Cool. One that works out how to scare you by using your own mind. Whoa. That... That sounds crazy. Can't wait! I'm uploading a neural net package. Neural net packing, neural net. Hmm. Name could use a little work, I think. It's all 90s. I'm just kidding, it's a good name. It's state of the art intelligence software. It learns and adapts on the fly. It'll monitor your brain activity and try and work out how best to frighten you and then adjust to your experience accordingly. - Whoa! - Are you ready? - Oh, yeah. - Beam me up. Here we go, lock and load. - Eyes closed. - Time is currently 6:17 p.m. - Okay. It's uploading. Five, four, three, two, one. How are you feeling? Um... I feel good. I feel normal. Okay. Stand up, slowly. Are you ready to play? Isn't this the Harlech Shadow house? It's part of the estate. The gamekeeper's lodge, actually. But, yeah, this was the model. The layout was replicated for the game and the texture scanned. Wow! Very, very cool. So what's the game, what do I do? You don't have to do anything. You just stay in here alone, see how long you last until you're too scared to continue. So all I have to do is, like, stay here? And I get paid for that? I'll be back in the control room, watching. There are cameras all over, so no stealing the silverware. And now there's this. - And what's this? - It's an earpiece. Oh! Yeah, just pop it in, and you and I will be in contact the whole time. Oh, cool. And I can, like, talk to you, and you'll hear it? Great, that's great. Now, nothing you'll see can physically harm you. It's all just audio-visual, like the gopher game. Oh, okay. But if it does get too intense, we can pull you out at any time - and stop the experiment. - Okay. Is there a safe word you can think of? Something easy to remember in distress? How about the word "stop"? - Good choice. "Stop" it is. - Yeah. Okay, we'll leave you to enjoy your evening. - Alright. - You'll hear from me in a moment. Just make yourself at home. Okay, all right. Well, take her easy. Harlech... Shadow. Is this real? Yeah, it's real. That's real. It's really dead. - Cooper. - Oh, hey. - Are you hearing me? - Loud and clear. Oh! Reaching for the Dutch courage already, I see. - I'm afraid that wine's non-alcoholic. - Lame. - Well, we need you with a clear head. - Okay. Fair point. Fair point. This is high-quality craftsmanship. This is nice. Yeah. It's good woodwork. - That's this place. - Full marks for observation. Mm-hmm! Yep! Alright, there we go. Ah! - Oh, shit. - What's up? I just forgot I don't have my phone. I keep going for it, I forget it's not in my pocket. And there's, uh... no TV here, so... Welcome to the 19th century. No TV, no Internet, no wi-fi. Yeah. No wonder people were seeing shit. Probably were just bored out of their gourds. Well, that's the leading theory about ghost sightings. The mind plays tricks when less stimulated. Fewer distractions, people saw more ghosts. Isn't that a nice piece of info? Well, they got literature, though. That's pretty sweet, right? Oh, my God, I can't remember the actual last time that I read a book. To think people used to do this on purpose. I know. Crazy. Why? - You know, I don't think I've... - Shh, alright? I need to get into some old-school shit here. Concentrate. Pardonme. Can I point out your heart rate just increased? Yeah. Well, it should have cos there's a huge crazy spider. You see a spider? - You don't... you don't see that? - No. Don't... Don't walk. Don't... Holy shit! Tough guy like you, scared of spiders. Yeah, I'm just not fond of them. It's worked out you're an arachnophobe quickly. It's probing for weak spots. God damn it. Fucker! Yeah! Um... Okay. Yeah, well, yeah. Whole lot more realistic than the gopher game. It's good. It's good graphics. It's good, uh... Yeah. Weak sauce. - What is it? - Just... Nothing. Nothing. Here with the figures. There's a... No. There's a light on... now, in the... Can you... zoom in and... zoom in on it? And you can see what I'm talking about. Whoa! - Cooper... - And now there's... Shh! There's a guy in the window. That wasn't... Yeah. And now he's gone. Now nobody's in the window. Which is the... Mm-hmm. Yeah, there's a... Just leaky pipes. I knew it. It was leaky pipes, like... Holy fuck! Fuck! Oh! Oh! Okay. That got me. You got me. What are you seeing? Like a creepy fucking guy. Wow, just... Oh, my God. Oh, my God! He kinda looks like Josh Peters. - It's Josh Peters! You're Josh Peters! - Sorry? You're Josh Peters from high school! From a guy I know at high school. The system could be mining some of your personal memories for texture. Was Josh Peters someone you were scared of? He was a bully. I wasn't scared. I wasn't scared of him, but he was a bully and... Man! Take a couple of Krav Maga classes and I'd be ready. I'd be ready! Kali ma! Dah! I'm gonna get some wine. Re-up. I'd offer you some, but I don't think you can drink it so... Whoo-hoo-hoo! Catch ya later, Peters. This non-alcoholic wine is pretty good. I'm not like a expert or anything, but it's kinda great. I was in France. I stayed at this, like, vineyard, and they had this wine, like, grape-stomping festival. Now that, that wine was good. I know that. You're being discursive. - What is discursive? Discursive? - Talkative. - Mm-hmm. - Rambling. Is that a problem? People sometimes talk more when they're afraid. Helps compensate for the fear. - Masks it, too. - Oh, yeah? Similar to when you've got the TV on late at night. The voices make you feel less alone. Even though you are alone. You aren't scaring me, Katie. Pity. Is there like a refrigerator here? There's some snacks in the cupboard. Alrighty. Eenie meenie, miney... Mo! Alright. Okay, ginger snaps. Let's see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This'll do. Now... um... He's gonna be right behind this door when I close it, isn't he? Yeah, that's how this works. Knew it. Jump scares get pretty old... Fuck! Oh, God. - What the hell is that? - What do you see? Holy shit! A fucking... Uh... Hard to explain. It's like a huge-ass spider with a face and dicks coming out of his mouth. It's... Peters. Peters is inside. Like a Peters-spider mash-up. Ah, Katie! Are you doing this, or is this fucking me? - I think that's all you. - I'm so fucked up! God! Fuck! Holy shit, you're fucking gross. Yeah... Sorry, can you say again? Katie, hello? Damn it, Katie! Whenever you come back online, just say the word. No, I'm not scared, just... bored. That you guys? Coming to fix the earpiece? That's probably a good idea. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck it, man! Come on! You're in danger. Sonja? Now we're talking. Alright, this is incredible. This... very impressive. I am thoroughly impressed. I am... Wow! Wow! You look so real. You're, like, just like her. I mean, wow. Except... you're just unfortunately not... um... - Cooper, what are you doing? - Wait, wait. Hold on, hold on. - Cooper, you're in danger. - Shh! Quiet. Quiet! I need to think. You're fucking real. You are real. You're real. - Cooper, you're in... - You're Sonja. You're actually here. - Are you actually here right now? - I'm real. I'm actually here. - God. - And we have to go. - You have to listen to me. - How are you here? You know that photo that you sent me? I dug around and apparently Shou Saito took out a patent for a computer brain interface last year. How are you real? I don't... Okay, fuck. I don't... They brought you here! You are, you're real, and they brought you here, and they're trying to fuck with me. Nice try, good try. I get it. It's part of the test. His patent got rejected outright. They said it was insane, it was dangerous. Wow. Really? How much are they paying you? Honestly. Cos you're killing it right now. - Have they given you something? - Sorry, I thought you were fake. But now I know you're real, I'm being a really terrible host. I got some non-alcoholic wine. Might put us in the mood. - Cooper, what I want to do is... - We'll talk about it in the kitchen. - Cooper! - Sonja, relax, okay? Give it up. I know, the jig's up, okay? Let it go. Look, Cooper, there's more. Five people have disappeared in the past year. All tourists, all registered with that stupid odd jobs app. Oh, yeah? Wow. God, that's crazy. Whatever they're doing to you, whatever they've done to you, it's dangerous, and we really have to go now, Cooper. Okay, okay. Alright. - Well, if your story's true... - Cooper. - Then how'd you find me? - What? How'd you know where I am? It's a games company, I looked up the address. Yeah, really? No, no, no, no. How'd you find me here? This place. - I tracked you. - You tracked me? Yeah, with your GPS on your phone. Find My Friends. Find My Friends? That would've worked, but they took my phone. And it's in a building, like, a mile away. So, yeah, nice try. That's right. So much for women outsmarting men. Singularity that! Look, all I'm saying is that I think that you could've come up with a better story, it could have been funny or... Okay, alright, don't be pissed. Do you ever wonder how your bank account got hacked? What are you doing? - I cloned your card as you were asleep. - Whoa. Okay. Put the knife down. What are you going to do with that? I drew your attention to this job. Sonja, put the fucking knife down, okay? It's not funny. Should've called your mum, Cooper. - But you called me, and I led you here... - Sonja. - You know what? - ... like a breadcrumb trail. Put the knife down. Drop the act. Okay, seriously, drop the knife, Sonja. It's not fucking funny. Put the knife... This isn't what I signed up for. I'm fucking done, okay? Fuck! What the fuck? Oh, fuck! Oh! Holy fuck! Stop! Fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! - Cooper. - Katie! - Katie! - Cooper. - Katie! - Cooper, what's happening? What the fuck happened? What's happening? We've been talking. You've not been responding. - You said I wouldn't feel anything! - What are you seeing? What's there? - Fuck! She's gone now. - Who's gone? Oh, my God, I-I felt it. There's a knife in my arm! - In my shoulder. - Cooper, who was there? - Fuck... Sonja. - Who? Sonja. She's this girl that I know, that fucking... She stabbed me. - She had a fucking knife. - Nothing can harm you, Cooper. - No, no, no, no. She was solid. - No, she can't have been. She... I was stabbed! I would know! Nothing you see can harm or even touch you. It's purely audio-visual. - There's no physical sensation. - Fuck! Yes, there was! - Cooper, you need to calm down. - I know because I felt it, okay? I felt her arm, it was warm, and I felt her fucking stab me in the shoulder. - That's not possible. - Oh, my God. - It's not possible, Cooper. - Yeah, it is! Yeah, it is! Physical sensations shouldn't be possible. - Unless, I mean... - Oh, God. Unless what? I don't know. The neuron net, it could have maybe worked out some means of replicating physical experiences, - but that would be unprecedented. - Jesus Christ. Okay, you know what? Stop the game. I want out. Just pull me out now. Stop, stop, stop. Safe word. Fucking stop! - Okay, okay, just let us work it out. - Oh, God. No, I want this fucking thing out now. Cooper, do not attempt to remove that yourself. Removing it yourself is extremely dangerous. Stop that, that could kill you! Just stay calm! Is that Shou? Is that Shou? What's he saying? What's he saying? Okay, Cooper. We're gonna commence with deactivation. Oh, that's great news. We need you to follow instructions and make it to the access point. The access point? Great. Where the fuck's the access point? - Oh, fuck! More stairs? Come on! - Just one more level. - Trust me. - Okay. Left at the top. - Okay, which door? - Room at the end. What is it? There's gonna be something behind there. I can feel it. - Something like... - Like what? Some personal fucked-up shit. Like... I don't know, I could feel it digging around in my head. Cooper, get to the door. It's gonna be like my mum, I don't know, dead. - Your mum? - Fucking swinging from a fucking beam. - Your mother is not in there. - You're not in control of this! It's in my head. It fucking knows. It knows. - It knows! - It knows what? It knows I got this thing with my mum. Cooper, I promise you, she's not in there. - Now open the door. - Oh, my God. It's the only way I can get you out. Listen to me. Okay, Okay. Fuck. Okay. Whatever's in there cannot harm you. But I can't get you out unless you open that door, Cooper. Okay. Would you kindly open the door? Here we go. Here we go. Okay. Okay, okay, I'm in the room. Where's the access point? Access point? - There is no access point. - What? I'm fucking with you, Cooper. I told you to come up here to see if we've broken you enough to obey instructions without question. - And we have. - Oh, no, no, no. Katie, come on. Katie, come on, let me out! Katie, let me out, come on! What the fuck! Oh, what are you gonna do? Oh, what are you doing to me? - Why are you doing this? - You thought you'd see your mother. - Oh, fuck! - What does she look like? Your mother, can you describe her face? Her hair colour? She... Is she tall, short, fat, thin? - Where did you grow up? - She... What's your favourite band? Your favourite flavour ice cream? The name of the girl who stabbed you? You don't know any of these things, do you? Don't you think that's odd? It's fucking taking my memories! Overwriting them, technically. Fuck. Look in the mirror behind you. Do you recognize yourself? Do you even know who you're looking at? Soon you won't be anything. You'll be just like your dad. Shut up, shut up, shut up. - That's what really scares you, isn't it? - Stop it. - Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! - You're going the same place he did. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! - You're going nowhere. - Shut up! Shut up. Youshouldhavecalledmum. She's all that's left. - You abandoned her. - No, no, no, no! Get out of my head! You'll never see her again. You'll never speak to her again. - Never see her face. - Get out of my fucking head! Get out of my fucking head! Get out of my fucking head! You're a bad son. You'll never see your mother again. You're going nowhere. Straight into oblivion. You deserve it. You should have called her. Get out of my fucking head! Get it out of my head! Get it out of my head! Get it out of my fucking head! Cooper, I'm gonna shut it off, okay? I just need to connect. Get it out of my head! Get it out of my head! Get it out of my head! Oh, my God. Where am I? Who are you? I can't stop it. I don't know who I am. So I... So I need to go home. The interface has data tendrils like roots. They've dug in deeper than they're meant to. Threaded through your brain, taken over whole areas, I can't stop it. I can't remove it, and I can't stop it. But I... But I don't know who I am. I don't know... I don't know who I am. I don't know who I am. I don't know. On behalf of Saito Game Team, I most humbly apologize. Who are you? What have you done to me? - What have you done to me? - Put him with the others, please. No, no, no, no! No, no, no! Stop, stop, stop, stop! Stop, stop, stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop! No, don't, don't! Don't! Don't! Stop! Stop! No! Oh, fuck. That was one second. Either he's super susceptible to this or the software is way too powerful still. It's jumped from zero to 18K in five milliseconds... I'm sorry. The experience was more powerful than intended, Mr. Cooper. I hope you can forgive us. ...allluggageunderthe seat in front of you. All electronic devices should now be turned off and stowed as they may interfere with the aircraft's navigational and communication... Mum? Mum? I have to call him. Mum? Why did Cooper go? - I... - Mom, I'm right here. I'm... - I'm right here, Mum. - I have to call Cooper. I have to call and make sure that he's safe. I have to call him. I have to call him. I have to call him. Mum? Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! - What happened? - His phone rang. - You didn't take it off him? - Yes, but... - The signals interfere. - I know I switched it off. Maybe he did something while I was out of the room. An oversight. Won't happen again. The incoming signal must have interfered with the upload sequence. Every synapse in his brain lit up at once. Then went dead. Like that. You said he shouted something. What was it? "Mum." - Make a note of that. - Yes. -You'rewatchingChannel36's "PowerNewsLiveatFive ." We'vegotthemost highschoolsports, themostlotterynumbers, andthemostweather intheTri-Swamparea. It'snewstime! - Good evening, I'm Brynn DeRose. - And I'm Slade Austin. Tonight on "Power News," we reveal who Donald Trump is running against for President. - Plus, we'll show you the winning lottery numbers. Could 67 be one of them? - Now our top story: two prisoners have escaped from the Coral Palms sheriff's station in a daring daylight jailbreak. Themen,identified asGregoryStickney andLarrySherbert werearrestedafter aroutinetrafficstop revealed a cache of automatic weapons. - Less than 12 hours later, the men escaped by creating a disturbance in their cell. - Well, they started kissing, which I'm fine with-- really, I am, kiss whoever you want-- except they were both men. - Tito Amendola was also in holding at the time and witnessed the jailbreak. - I do a lot of meth. - The sheriff's office is coordinating their search with local and state police. - If you're watching, Greg and Larry, and I know you are, my men and I will not rest until we find you. That's right, we're coming for you. - Strong words, and moving on, what if you were going through a drive-thru, and a puppy dog took your order? - The cops are looking for us, and a madman wants us dead. We should be laying low until the Nine-Nine gets here. - Yeah, but we don't know when that's gonna be, and we need food and supplies. - Okay, I'll get some water. - Holt, are you trying to draw attention to us? Nobody drinks water here. Choose something blue or green. - Okay, I guess I'll go in for, uh, the Blazing Blue Rad-berry Cooler Xtreme: Code Rad. - Good choice. I should probably get some body spray as well. What sounds better, Liquid Moan or Turnpike? - We only have $17 to our name. We can't spend five of it on this. - I know, but I'm about to see Amy for the first time in forever, and I want to smell like a... "hot New Jersey breeze," ugh. Good call. All right, let's get out of here. -Andin CoralPalms, lawenforcement stillissearching fora pairof fugitives whobrokeoutofjail earlierthisevening. GregStickney andLarrySherbert arebelievedto be unarmedbutdangerous. - Liquid Moan, nice. I wore this to Swampsgiving last year--cleaned up. - Right on, bro. - Oh, we have a promotion on the Code Rad. It comes with a free cigarette. - Oh, no. That doesn't matter. We don't need it. - Well, if you don't want it, I'll take it. - No, no, no. Don't do that--smoking is bad. You should quit smoking right now. - Hey... - Ahh. - We seem to be in the clear. Are you hurt? - Yeah. I got caught on top of the fence. Check out my calf-- it's like Scratch City. How about you? - I'm fine, except I was impaled on a metal pipe. - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! It's gonna be fine. Oh, my God! - I got rifles, vests, flash grenades... - Chips, dips, ice cream sammies... - I'm pretty sure there's gonna be snacks in Florida, Scully. - Pretty sure? Do you arrest someone if you're pretty sure they're guilty? No, Amy, you wait till you get all the facts! - Hey, okay, everyone, let's just try to bring things we actually need for the mission. - Really? Then what is this? - Oh, it's a book of 4,000 essential photos of Nikolaj for me to show Jake. - All right, bad news. I talked to Captain Stentley again. He still won't give us permission to go to Florida. I even brought out the big guns. - Left, right, left, right, both, both, both. That's so cool! I still can't let you go to Florida, though. - Terry feels like a whore. He said if we disobey him, there'll be tire consequences. I think he meant dire. Guy's real dumb. Who's with me? Great, Hitchcock's in. Who else? - I actually had a question. How mad would everyone be if I just bailed? - Shut up, Hitchcock. Obviously, we're all going. - What's up, squadron? I'm airplane ready, and I'm T-minus 30 from my Ambies kicking in, so let's take it to the skies. - Yeah, about that. Um, there were no tickets left. But I brought my minivan, so... - Road trip! - I went to a 24-hour vet and got surgical supplies. I was in and out like a ninja. Needles, needles, need-- whoa! So many dogs! - I'll need your assistance. You'll have to pull out the pipe and stitch up the wound. - All right. This is gonna hurt. But I'm gonna get you through it. Oh, God, I'm gonna throw up into your cut. Ahhh, I saw inside of you. How are humans alive? - Okay, uh, I'll do the surgery, and, uh, you just breathe, okay? We'll get you through this. - Okay. - Ugh, what was that sound? I did not like that squish sound. - The pipe has been removed. Now... I'm sewing myself up. Okay, this is almost over. You're doing great. Just keep talking. Keep talking. - Talking about what? - Uh, tell me about Amy, hmm? You must be excited to see her. - Very much, you know. Oh, God, what if it doesn't go well? We haven't seen each other in a while, and what if it's weird? Uhhh! - Keep going, keep going. You're doing so well. Why would it be weird? - I don't know. I don't know. I mean, maybe we've grown apart. Maybe she'll be repulsed by my frosted tips. I was gonna defrost them before I saw her for the first time. - I'm sure it will be magical when you see her. And... guess what? - What? - I'm done. I've sewn myself up. - Huh. - You did great, buddy. I'm proud of you. I can't believe I did it. I'm so strong. - Ooh, we're crossing into Virginia. Fun fact: Virginia is not technically a state, but a commonwealth. - Oof, poor Jake. - Uhh, this might be the Ambies speaking, but this in-flight movie sucks. - So, uh, you already moved the twins onto a booster seat, huh? Aren't they a little young for that? - They're four. - Nikolaj is four, but we're sticking with the car seat as long as possible, but you know me-- I'm a "safety at all costs" kind of dad. - Mm-hmm. - Sarge, I need to go to the bathroom. - We just stopped for gas. I asked you if you had to go. - I didn't have to then. - So does this van have side-impact airbags? - Not in the back. - Oh. Interesting. No judgment here. - Sarge, I have to pee now too. - Seriously? You, Diaz? Look, I'll turn off at the next exit, okay? - I have to pee really badly. - Hot. - What? - Hitchcock! - Guys, enough! - Sarge-- - Yeah, I know! You got to pee, I got it! - No, brake lights! - Oh, crap. - Everyone hang on! There's no side-impact airbags! - Did you get breakfast? - I tried, but I got recognized. - Do I know you from somewhere? - Do you watch a lot of pornography? 'Cause I'm in most of it. - Oh, boy. What if you were followed? I don't think it's safe to stay here. - Where are we gonna go? - The cops? - Or Figgis! Do we have any weapons? - I have the pipe we pulled out of me. - I would sooner surrender than go anywhere near your gooey body pipe. Oh, no, I'm gonna do it. Oh! - Jake? - Amy-- It's so good to see you. - Thank you guys so much for coming. I can't wait to catch up with all of you when this is done. - My dad died, and-- - Again, when this is done, Hitchcock. Gina, you look like a fresh wizard, and I love it. So we know that Figgis is in Coral Palms, but we don't know where he is, and we don't know how many guys he's got with him. The plan is to lure them into the Fun Zone and ambush them. Any questions? - Yes, did you miss us? Quick follow-up: did you ever look up at the moon and wonder if I was looking at it too? - Yes. - Knew it. - All right, once we get to the Fun Zone, I'll fill everyone in on the mission details. You guys come with me. Captain, you stay here and rest. - What? I don't need to rest. I'm in peak condition. - All right, then stand up. - Easy. I love standing up. - Yeah, you're staying here. - Aw, Captain, don't worry, okay? My sleeping pills are doing their job, and I can stay here and take care of you, okay? Terry, I'm gonna need your gun. - That's not happening. - All right, I'll use my own. Oops-a-daisy. - That is adorable. Where did you get that? - Vending machine at a rest stop. - Give me that. Just don't let Captain Holt die. And stay on your phone for logistical support as planned. Now come on, guys, let's get ready. - Hey, we never really got a chance to say hi. - Yeah. Hi. - Hi. - Oh, my God, everyone, Jake and Amy are going to kiss for the first time in six months. Let those Nicholas Sparks fly. - So everyone's just gonna watch us? - Yes! Now get to it, you lovebirds. Here we go. - Come on, man. - How did you get there so fast? - Love finds a way. - Ugh. - Welcome to the Fun Zone. I know the manager, and he's agreed to shut the place down for the day, so there won't be any civilians around. - Smart. You put up all these fake signs about a major health code violation. - No, those are actually always there-- something about lead being in the air and water and ground. Anyways, you all have your assignments. Let's plan an ambush. Nine-Nine! - Nine-Nine! - Chills, you guys. Literally, chills. - Hey there, Nikolaj. It's your papa. If you're watching this, something bad has happened to me. But I want you to know that I love you very much. - You want to stop filming yourself and help me with these many items I'm carrying? - Sorry, I was making a video for my son. You know, in case I never see him again. Do you not do that for your kids? - Of course I do. I make those kind of videos all the time. You know, in fact, I was about to do one right now. Hey--hey, girls. It's me, Daddy. If you're seeing this, I'm dead. But I want you to know that I love you now and forever. - Okay, time for a lullaby, sung in your native Latvian. Ligo! Ligo! Ligo! - Yeah, yeah, lullaby time. Look. * Go to sleep, Daddy's dead * * But his ghost's always watching * - What the hell are you guys doing? - Good call. Blocking the door. Keep it up, smorty-pants. - Oh-- - Uh-- Mwah. One of our classic forehead smooches, just like I planned. This is weird. - Should we have sex? - What? - Huh? - Yeah. I mean, no. - No, things aren't weird, or no to the sex? - Maybe we should just-- - You're right. Just concentrate on Figgis, and we'll figure this out later. - No, I was gonna say maybe we should talk, but yeah, it can wait till after Figgis. - Ah. - We have the rest of our lives to talk. - Yeah, unless he kills us first. What a weird joke. Regret saying that one. Wow, things are clickin'. - I'm gonna go make sure there's enough balls in-- in the ball pit. - Yup. Important to get on them balls. What is wrong with me? - So then Trevor sends me a text, and he's like, "At this point, I hate you." I'm like, "Oh, really? 'Cause you didn't hate me last week." - Trevor sounds like a dog. - Right? God, I missed our daily dishes. - Me too. I'm sorry I'm not reciprocating with "hot goss" of my own. I'm just worried about the Nine-Nine. - Sir, they're gonna be fine. - They're my squad. I should be there with them. This is killing me. - Well, I'm not gonna let it. Let's go. - But my wound, Gina. - Sir, with your brain and my body-- and my brain-- we make one unstoppable unit. Now climb aboard, sir. And let's go. Oof. - All right, everybody ready? Good. Let's set this trap. - Hello. - Hello, Figgis. -Peralta. Congratulations on escaping prison. - Thank you. Congrats on sucking. - You know, I'm bored. I'd love to kill you tonight. So where you hiding? - Wouldn't you like you know? -Roundone. - You're never gonna find me. I'minvisible. - Mommy, I won! I won a big pwize! -Downtown! - I'm everywhere, and I'm nowhere. AndI 'mcomingforyou . Peace out, loser. - He's at the Fun Zone. Gear up. - This ends tonight. Uh! - Ow! - Oh, sorry, babe. - What were you aiming for? - Hey, got you a bag of Blue Rad-berry slushie for the swelling. I would've just gotten ice, but a possum died in the ice machine. - Cool. - Yeah. - Why do we keep hurting each other? - I don't know. Maybe I'm overthinking it. It just feels like we're not-- - On the same page. - Clicking. That was basically the same thing. I count that. - Yeah. - Look, I know this isn't the right time for some big talk, but I just-- want us to be normal again. - Yeah, me too. - I hope you're a better kisser than Holt. - What? - Why did I say that? - Why did you kiss Holt? - I didn't. I did. We did it to get out of jail, but it didn't mean anything. Just forget I said anything, right? Rewind. And kiss. - Jake-- - You want to know if there was tongue. I can tell you, decidedly there was not. - No, Jake. Figgis is here. - Okay, well, good talk. Don't die. Holt had very soft lips. Wish I hadn't said that one either. We should get into positions. - Yeah, okay. - Hey, kill the lights! Figgis is here! - Excuse me, ma'am, this dolly's being used. - Broccoli che visto? - It's being used. -Quantieralavitolabella ? Tuttomatrolamente? - Just bring it back when you're done. -Ah! Garbanzomarinara! Pizzeríarestaurante! Ahh! Jackpot. Let's do this. - And how am I supposed to get all the way up there? - Gracefully. - Boost my bottom! - I'm boosting! - Boost my bottom! - I'm boosting! - Boost it! Ah. All right... stick shift. I can't drive stick shift. You're gonna have to drive. - How? My leg doesn't work. - Sir, I am a dancer. I will be your legs. - Clutch in. - Okay. - Clutch out. - Oh! - Hoo-hoo! Wearethebestdriver intheworld! - Spread out and find 'em. - Bogie headed to the ball pit. - * Is that all you got? I'lltakeyourbestshot * *I 'lltakeyourbestshot , I'lltakeyourbestshot ! * -* Boom* -* Herecomesthe * -* Boom* -* Readyor not* *Herecomesthe boys fromtheSouth* *Isthatall you got ? * -* I 'lltakeyourbestshot * -* Well,it 'sallright* -* I 'lltakeyourbestshot * *I 'lltakeyourbestshot * -* Boom* -* Herecomesthe * -* Boom* - * Ready or not, haha,howyou likemenow? * - Peralta... Holt. I know you're here. I'm gonna kill you. - I don't think so. - Oh... - Put down the weapon, Figgis. There you go. Oh, yes. I've been waiting for this moment a long time. You ruined my life. I had to live in Florida for six months! - It's the worst. Have you tried the pizza down here? - Yeah, it's the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted. It somehow burned my mouth and is cold at the same time. But none of that changes the fact that you're about to go to prison for the rest of your life. - Drop it, Sherbert! - What? No! - I've been everywhere, and I finally spotted your minivan with the New York plates parked around back. We already got all your friends. So drop it. - You don't understand. I'm a detective with the NYPD. This is Jimmy Figgis; he's wanted by the FBI. - No, I'm Constantine Binvoglio, and I came here to repair a skee ball machine on the the fritz, but suddenly he's trying to kill me. - He's lying. "Constantine Binvoglio." It's clearly a name he just made up. I'm very impressed. That was pretty good. - I will shoot you, Sherbert. - All right, fine, I will put down my weapon, but you have to promise me you will not let this man go. - Okay, well, we're gonna cuff everyone, and then we're gonna sort this all out. - Thank you. - Yeah, thanks, Sheriff. - No! - Now let's me and you take a little walk. - Ooh. - How do you think you're getting out of this, Figgis? Do you even have a plan? - I'm gonna hold you hostage to get away. Then I'm gonna drive to a gas station where I'll steal a clean car and head for the airport, where I'll buy a ticket with my false ID, then kill you in the parking lot and disappear again. - Pfft. You're scrambling. - Look, I told you, we're NYPD. - Yeah, right. - I can prove it. Look up "Brooklyn detective attacked by birds." You'll see an article with a photo of me. -Officerdown. Allavailableunitsrespond. - I'm gonna give you a window, and you're gonna go after Jake. My name is Detective Rosa Diaz, NYPD. - Get back. - I'm reaching for my badge. - Keep walking. - Let him go. - Put that gun down, or he dies. - He's not gonna shoot me. He needs me alive to get out of here. - Yeah, you willing to take that bet? I wouldn't. Now put the gun down. - Oh! - You shot him! - Are you okay? I'm sorry I shot you. I thought that's what the nod meant. - It was. It was awesome. It was actually just like the end of "Speed," which is a pretty good movie. It's not as good as "Die Hard." "Die Hard"'s perfect. - Okay, Jake, I'm gonna go after Figgis. - Yeah, I was gonna say, you should keep going after Figgis. Same page, still. - Get out of the car! - Young Jeezy take the wheel! - Freeze, punk! - Yeah, freeze, punk! - Gina, where did you get that gun? - Lost and found at the storage facility. They have boxes of 'em. They're everywhere. - Hey, Figgis. My fiancé, Adrian Pimento, said when I caught you, I should read you this letter. "I want to lick the skin off your body, baby." Oh, that side's for me. "I want to rip the skin off your body, Jimmy." - We're sorry we doubted you, sir. You really saved our butts. - I can't take credit for that. Gina Linetti is the real hero here. - But isn't Gina Linetti more of a state of mind? Like, in a way, we were all Gina Linetti today. Gina, let's take this Gina to the hospital. Hey, how's the sheriff? - Well, he keeps yelling, "Disability for life!" So I think he's fine. Also, Coral Palms PD found your marshal at Figgis's hideout, alive at well. - Oh, that's great. - Yeah. How are you doing? - Fine--you know, just getting bandaged up. Actually, can you give us a second? Thanks. It hurts so bad. I just didn't want to seem weak in front of EMT Craig. - So I know this is weird to say, because I just shot you, but it feels like we're back in sync now. - Yeah, I mean, as in sync as I've ever been with someone who just shot me. - I love you. - I love you too. Hey, do you happen to know my blood type? - Yeah. B positive. - Well, guessed wrong. Hey, Craig? - Hey, Captain Stentley, we're back. - How was Florida? - It was fine. - A lot of college girls. - Come on, man. - Now, before you say anything, I know we disobeyed a direct order. - Sergeant, relax, okay? Your friends were in trouble; you did what you had to do. And now I got to do what I got to do. - Oh, no, a memorandum of admonishment? - Much worse--you're never gonna see the sun again. Your families--they're gonna forget your faces. You'll eat lunch at dinnertime and dinner at breakfast. And you'll... Ah, what was I talking about? I totally lost my train. - You were punishing us. - Yes, thank you. Ah! I'm transferring the whole squad to the night shift. - Noooo! - Yes. -Notadoctor. -Shh. You're watching Channel 36's "Power News Live at Five." We've got the most high school sports, the most lottery numbers, and the most weather in the Tri-Swamp area. It's news time! Good evening, I'm Brynn DeRose. And I'm Slade Austin. Tonight on "Power News," we reveal who Donald Trump is running against for President. Plus, we'll show you the winning lottery numbers. Could 67 be one of them? Two prisoners have escaped from the Coral Palms sheriff's station in a daring daylight jailbreak. The men, identified as Gregory Stickney and Larry Sherbert were arrested after a routine traffic stop revealed a cache of automatic weapons. Less than 12 hours later, the men escaped by creating a disturbance in their cell. Well, they started kissing, which I'm fine with... really, I am, kiss whoever you want... except they were both men. Tito Amendola was also in holding at the time and witnessed the jailbreak. I do a lot of meth. The sheriff's office is coordinating their search with local and state police. If you're watching, Greg and Larry, and I know you are, my men and I will not rest until we find you. That's right, we're coming for you. Strong words, and moving on, what if you were going through a drive-thru, and a puppy dog took your order? The cops are looking for us, and a madman wants us dead. We should be laying low until the Nine-Nine gets here. Yeah, but we don't know when that's gonna be, and we need food and supplies. Okay, I'll get some water. Holt, are you trying to draw attention to us? Nobody drinks water here. Choose something blue or green. Okay, I guess I'll go in for, uh, the Blazing Blue Rad-berry Cooler Xtreme: Code Rad. Good choice. I should probably get some body spray as well. What sounds better, Liquid Moan or Turnpike? We only have $17 to our name. We can't spend five of it on this. I know, but I'm about to see Amy for the first time in forever, and I want to smell like a... "hot New Jersey breeze," ugh. Good call. All right, let's get out of here. And in Coral Palms, law enforcement still is searching for a pair of fugitives who broke out of jail earlier this evening. Greg Stickney and Larry Sherbert are believed to be unarmed but dangerous. Liquid Moan, nice. I wore this to Swampsgiving last year... cleaned up. Right on, bro. Oh, we have a promotion on the Code Rad. - It comes with a free cigarette. - Oh, no. That doesn't matter. We don't need it. Well, if you don't want it, I'll take it. No, no, no. Don't do that... smoking is bad. You should quit smoking right now. Hey... Ahh. We seem to be in the clear. - Are you hurt? - Yeah. I got caught on top of the fence. Check out my calf... it's like Scratch City. How about you? I'm fine, except I was impaled on a metal pipe. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! It's gonna be fine. Oh, my God! I got rifles, vests, flash grenades... Chips, dips, ice cream sammies... I'm pretty sure there's gonna be snacks in Florida, Scully. Pretty sure? Do you arrest someone if you're pretty sure they're guilty? No, Amy, you wait till you get all the facts! Hey, okay, everyone, let's just try to bring things we actually need for the mission. Really? Then what is this? Oh, it's a book of 4,000 essential photos of Nikolaj for me to show Jake. All right, bad news. I talked to Captain Stentley again. He still won't give us permission to go to Florida. I even brought out the big guns. Left, right, left, right, both, both, both. That's so cool! I still can't let you go to Florida, though. Terry feels like a whore. He said if we disobey him, there'll be tire consequences. I think he meant dire. Guy's real dumb. Who's with me? Great, Hitchcock's in. Who else? I actually had a question. How mad would everyone be if I just bailed? Shut up, Hitchcock. Obviously, we're all going. What's up, squadron? I'm airplane ready, and I'm T-minus 30 from my Ambies kicking in, so let's take it to the skies. Yeah, about that. Um, there were no tickets left. But I brought my minivan, so... Road trip! I went to a 24-hour vet and got surgical supplies. I was in and out like a ninja. Needles, needles, need... whoa! So many dogs! I'll need your assistance. You'll have to pull out the pipe and stitch up the wound. All right. This is gonna hurt. But I'm gonna get you through it. Oh, God, I'm gonna throw up into your cut. Ahhh, I saw inside of you. How are humans alive? Okay, uh, I'll do the surgery, and, uh, you just breathe, okay? We'll get you through this. Okay. Ugh, what was that sound? I did not like that squish sound. The pipe has been removed. Now... I'm sewing myself up. Okay, this is almost over. You're doing great. Just keep talking. Keep talking. Talking about what? Uh, tell me about Amy, hmm? You must be excited to see her. Very much, you know. Oh, God, what if it doesn't go well? We haven't seen each other in a while, and what if it's weird? - Uhhh! - Keep going, keep going. You're doing so well. Why would it be weird? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, maybe we've grown apart. Maybe she'll be repulsed by my frosted tips. I was gonna defrost them before I saw her for the first time. I'm sure it will be magical when you see her. And... guess what? - What? - I'm done. I've sewn myself up. - Huh. - You did great, buddy. I'm proud of you. I can't believe I did it. I'm so strong. Ooh, we're crossing into Virginia. Virginia is not technically a state, but a commonwealth. Oof, poor Jake. Uhh, this might be the Ambies speaking, but this in-flight movie sucks. So, uh, you already moved the twins onto a booster seat, huh? Aren't they a little young for that? They're four. Nikolaj is four, but we're sticking with the car seat as long as possible, but you know me... I'm a "safety at all costs" kind of dad. Mm-hmm. Sarge, I need to go to the bathroom. We just stopped for gas. I asked you if you had to go. I didn't have to then. So does this van have side-impact airbags? Not in the back. Oh. Interesting. No judgment here. Sarge, I have to pee now too. Seriously? You, Diaz? Look, I'll turn off at the next exit, okay? I have to pee really badly. Hot. - What? - Hitchcock! - Guys, enough! - Sarge... Yeah, I know! You got to pee, I got it! - No, brake lights! - Oh, crap. Everyone hang on! There's no side-impact airbags! Did you get breakfast? I tried, but I got recognized. Do I know you from somewhere? Do you watch a lot of pornography? 'Cause I'm in most of it. Oh, boy. What if you were followed? I don't think it's safe to stay here. Where are we gonna go? - The cops? - Or Figgis! Do we have any weapons? I have the pipe we pulled out of me. I would sooner surrender than go anywhere near your gooey body pipe. Oh, no, I'm gonna do it. - Oh! - Jake? Amy... It's so good to see you. Thank you guys so much for coming. I can't wait to catch up with all of you when this is done. My dad died, and... Again, when this is done, Hitchcock. Gina, you look like a fresh wizard, and I love it. So we know that Figgis is in Coral Palms, but we don't know where he is, and we don't know how many guys he's got with him. The plan is to lure them into the Fun Zone and ambush them. - Any questions? - Yes, did you miss us? Did you ever look up at the moon and wonder if I was looking at it too? - Yes. - Knew it. All right, once we get to the Fun Zone, I'll fill everyone in on the mission details. You guys come with me. Captain, you stay here and rest. What? I don't need to rest. I'm in peak condition. All right, then stand up. Easy. I love standing up. Yeah, you're staying here. Aw, Captain, don't worry, okay? My sleeping pills are doing their job, and I can stay here and take care of you, okay? Terry, I'm gonna need your gun. That's not happening. All right, I'll use my own. Oops-a-daisy. That is adorable. Where did you get that? Vending machine at a rest stop. Give me that. Just don't let Captain Holt die. And stay on your phone for logistical support as planned. Now come on, guys, let's get ready. Hey, we never really got a chance to say hi. Yeah. Hi. Hi. Oh, my God, everyone, Jake and Amy are going to kiss for the first time in six months. Let those Nicholas Sparks fly. So everyone's just gonna watch us? Yes! Now get to it, you lovebirds. Here we go. Come on, man. How did you get there so fast? - Love finds a way. - Ugh. Welcome to the Fun Zone. I know the manager, and he's agreed to shut the place down for the day, so there won't be any civilians around. Smart. You put up all these fake signs about a major health code violation. No, those are actually always there... something about lead being in the air and water and ground. Anyways, you all have your assignments. Let's plan an ambush. Nine-Nine! NineNine! Chills, you guys. Literally, chills. Hey there, Nikolaj. It's your papa. If you're watching this, something bad has happened to me. But I want you to know that I love you very much. You want to stop filming yourself and help me with these many items I'm carrying? Sorry, I was making a video for my son. You know, in case I never see him again. Do you not do that for your kids? Of course I do. I make those kind of videos all the time. You know, in fact, I was about to do one right now. Hey... hey, girls. It's me, Daddy. If you're seeing this, I'm dead. But I want you to know that I love you now and forever. Okay, time for a lullaby, sung in your native Latvian. Ligo! Ligo! Ligo! Yeah, yeah, lullaby time. Look. Go to sleep, Daddy's dead But his ghost's always watching What the hell are you guys doing? Good call. Blocking the door. Keep it up, smorty-pants. - Oh... - Uh... Mwah. One of our classic forehead smooches, just like I planned. - This is weird. - Should we have sex? - What? - Huh? Yeah. I mean, no. No, things aren't weird, or no to the sex? - Maybe we should just... - You're right. Just concentrate on Figgis, and we'll figure this out later. No, I was gonna say maybe we should talk, but yeah, it can wait till after Figgis. Ah. We have the rest of our lives to talk. Yeah, unless he kills us first. What a weird joke. Regret saying that one. Wow, things are clickin'. I'm gonna go make sure there's enough balls in... in the ball pit. Yup. Important to get on them balls. What is wrong with me? So then Trevor sends me a text, and he's like, "At this point, I hate you." I'm like, "Oh, really? 'Cause you didn't hate me last week." Trevor sounds like a dog. Right? God, I missed our daily dishes. Me too. I'm sorry I'm not reciprocating with "hot goss" of my own. I'm just worried about the Nine-Nine. Sir, they're gonna be fine. They're my squad. I should be there with them. This is killing me. Well, I'm not gonna let it. Let's go. But my wound, Gina. Sir, with your brain and my body... and my brain... we make one unstoppable unit. Now climb aboard, sir. And let's go. Oof. All right, everybody ready? Good. Let's set this trap. Hello. - Hello, Figgis. - Peralta. Congratulations on escaping prison. Thank you. Congrats on sucking. You know, I'm bored. I'd love to kill you tonight. So where you hiding? Wouldn't you like you know? Round one. You're never gonna find me. I'm invisible. Mommy, I won! I won a big pwize! Downtown! I'm everywhere, and I'm nowhere. And I'm coming for you. Peace out, loser. He's at the Fun Zone. Gear up. This ends tonight. Uh! - Ow! - Oh, sorry, babe. What were you aiming for? Hey, got you a bag of Blue Rad-berry slushie for the swelling. I would've just gotten ice, but a possum died in the ice machine. - Cool. - Yeah. Why do we keep hurting each other? I don't know. Maybe I'm overthinking it. It just feels like we're not... - On the same page. - Clicking. That was basically the same thing. - I count that. Are we OK? Yeah, sure. I mean, we had the talk, right? It's just that every time you look at me, it's like you want to run away. Nah, no, no way! Or if I do, it's just 'cause I'm busy. You know, I got places to be, stuff to do, you know, just like you. OK, well, as long as we're cool. Cool as a... Cool thing. Look at them all. They think I killed her. Nobody thinks that. Do they Fiona? 'Course not. Terrible news. Of course, if anyone had the motive to bump her off, it'd be you. I'm thinking crayfish. And so it transpires that the simplest and most effective way of measuring the value of a human life, any human life, is whether anyone misses you when you're gone. I was only, like, seven or eight when she took off. Yeah, but you must be able to remember stuff about her, right? The stuff you used to do together. Or her favourite thing to cook? No. Nothing. At the very least, we all like to think, surely, that someone will grieve for us when we're gone. I think what Arlo is trying to say is that if you could focus on your Mum for a minute, get a clear picture of her in your mind, then you might actually start to feel something. Why? Because she's your mother. Yeah, and if you don't deal with grief properly then... And trust us, it'll come out in all sorts of weird different ways. And you can end up suddenly living here, for example, because your Dad was in the denial stage and made a very rash decision. I'm not in denial. It's just like, for me she's been dead a long, long time. If you guys want to get all choked up about it, go for it. But I'm over it. Mind you... There's gotta be some upsides to losing your mother, right? Like, did people give you money and stuff? No, I don't know, on the Kubler-Ross grief front, she hasn't even made it onto the scale. Except maybe grief times ten. She's certainly mystery. No, she's a heartless, soulless cow. Whoa, everyone has their own process. Right? I mean, you didn't talk to anyone for two days after Mum died. Yeah, so? At least I didn't burst into tears every time I saw a photo of her or even when someone mentioned her name. It's called grieving, Shay. It got embarrassing, Arlo. Hey, hey. Look, what I'm trying to say is maybe her process hasn't started yet. Did she tell you about the postcards? The ones her mother supposedly sent from all over the world? Wait, so someone was trying to pretend her Mum was still alive even though she's been dead all these years? Unless Trina sent them from beyond the grave, it looks that way. What, like someone was trying to cover up her murder? Well, there are other explanations. Well, yeah, but not as cool. Some revision still might be a good idea. If you want, I can help. It's Media Studies, Arlo. It's not like brain science, or whatever. You sitting an exam today? I kind of have too. Well, couldn't you get a dispensation, given the circumstances? Nah, I did like no work all year, so if I don't pass the exam I am sunk. Oh. Eggs? Poached not fried. Two. With avocado, not tomato. But hey, the good news is this is the last exam, so once it's over it's party time! Yay! My God! Your mother is dead, Lindsay. You can't just pretend it didn't happen. Shay. Look... I get that you were all totally gutted when your Mum died, but mine chose to leave us. If she hadn't crashed, she'd been gone anyway, so what's the diff? She might have come back? Well, we'll never know, will we? So, spare me the pity party. I am over it. Morning. Correct. So, that's it then? That's the story? Yeah, for now. Because Big Mac doesn't want his family dirty laundry aired in public. Ah, no, because most of what people are saying is hearsay and we don't print hearsay, George. But it just seems so... Underwhelming? Yes! There is a life attached to that body. Well, not anymore, to be accurate. Which we are, George. The facts. So, an unidentified woman... Which everyone knows is Trina! She hasn't been formally identified yet. So, until then it is not a fact, it is gossip. We print news here, George. News. Siouxsie? Ah, Siouxsie, is Monty... Right here, George. She's, er, processing her grief. Were her and Trina close, then? Not really. Trina didn't really like kids. Especially her own. (LAUGHS) No, this is more of a general grief... about everything. Love is a farce and everyone dies. See? Especially in our family. Look at Mum? I'm sorry, have you lost your mother as well? No, she lives in a house-truck near Stafford. Denise had a change of heart. Mum turned lesbian and Dad cried for a year. Now she's with a man again. George doesn't need to hear about any of that. How can we help our esteemed new editor today? I'm actually not feeling that esteemed, Monty. Welcome to my world. I want to apologise. Well, look no worries. You're welcome. Job didn't mean that much to me anyway. I meant to Bill Jr. Oh, what for? For being the one to tell Lindsay. That should have been his to do. You would have done a much better job than he would've. I'd still like to talk to him anyway. Do know where I can find him? Mm-hm. I can do better than that. Siouxsie, cancel my appointments for the day. You don't have any. Excellent. He likes the way the balls roll across the grass. It calms his angry soul. You want to ask me about Trina, don't you? No, I just wanted to say sorry for... You loved your wife, didn't you George? You were happy? Well, we had our moments, but... But yes I did, and um... Yes, we were... Yeah. I loved Trina too. I don't think she ever really loved me. Not really. Deep down inside I always hoped she'd come back. Even after all this time. You were the one who sent the postcards to the kids, weren't you? I know people, plumbers, from all over the world. We talk, plumbing, you know, online. I'd get them to send blank postcards from their country. I'd copy Trina's bit of scrawl as best I could. Christmas cards, birthday messages, love Mummy. And then I would courier the cards back to my plumbing mates and they'd post them. I didn't want the kids to think that she'd just left them. Forgotten them. It's bloody stupid, really. I probably just made things worse. You were trying to do something good. We try to make up the loss as best we can. Yeah, well sometimes it's just not enough, is it? It gets better, Bill. Not every day, but... ..trust me it does. You hung another one of my paintings. Yes. What was wrong with the last one? Nothing. And the people who bought it quite liked it too. Really? Really. Oh, for God's sake. Yeah, it's down again. I called Ike. You call, I come running! Ooh, OK. Up and running again. Let me guess, he turned it off and turned it back on again. (LAUGHS) No, he replaced the router. Apparently it was shot. He swears it wasn't an excuse to come and see you. Uh-huh. Although I do think it got him here a lot quicker. Would it be alright if I use the space? To paint? Yeah. Or to hide from Ike? To paint. Yeah. You go for your life. Maybe I'll put one of yours on the wall and see how you like that. Maybe. You know that Ike is a really lovely guy, don't you? And he really has a thing for you which means he's not going away anytime soon. That's his problem. Yep. But you'll still have to deal with it, right? It's great out here, eh? Away from all the problems of the world. I think I might have brought my problems with me. Away you go then. It's just that I want to write something. Well, then write it! About Trina. Ah, right. A life must be worth a few well chosen words more than just "Body found in car." Yeah, but there are so many rumours flying around now. You can't even see the ducks from the trees. I think you might find the expression is 'wood from the trees'. It doesn't even make any sense. Trees are made of wood. Yeah, yeah that's the point. Nah, I still don't get it. But anyway, back to your problem. Which is essentially that if I, if I write only the bare facts, I feel like I would have done her and injustice. Yeah, but on the other hand you don't want to upset anyone and you know, go into messy, gory details. No, I don't want to do that. I was out here the other morning and right before my eyes I saw two dolphins mating. It was beautiful. Beautiful! But also a bit disturbing. Yeah, I can imagine. And when they get, you know, quite passionate, they actually bite each other's fins. Quite badly. It can scar them for life. Is that what happened? Nah, nah, nah, a killer whale appeared and chased them off. And me. (LAUGHS) I'm sorry, but what does that have to do with Trina? Exactly? I dunno, George. You're the writer, mate. Just telling you the story. (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) (PARTY MUSIC) Excuse me. Ah, no worries, Mr T. Hey Dad! Welcome to 'Lindsay dealing with her grief through partying'. Not your idea, I hope. Well, she said she was having a few friends over after her exams, but then this happened. Right. I might just go see how she's doing. Tragic. You've got to shut this down and kick her out, Dad. Probably not the best idea right now. Yes, she's lost her Mum, but clearly it's not causing her much distress right now. Eugh, of all the awkward times. Do something. Please? OK, I'll have a chat to her. Hi George! Hope you don't mind this little post exam blow-out. It's so cool to see all my friends. It might have been a good idea to ask me first, Lyndsay. Yeah, I know. But once word got out I think people just wanted to show me some love. Because of Mum? Right. Do you want me to get rid of them? 'Cause I will if it's bugging you? How about you just keep the music down a bit, OK? Thanks George, you're the best. Good work Dad. (PARTY MUSIC IN OTHER ROOM) Hey Shay. Gotta love your brother, right? He doesn't give up. You do know what a lost cause is, right? Mm-hm. Except it's not, is it? You know it, I know it, so why avoid the inevitable? Because maybe I want more for myself? Not to be one of the Lindsays of this world, hanging off some random guy's every word to fill the void of my existence. Yeah, but I'm not some random guy, am I? But you might as well be. Dad? It's time, Dad. Time for what? We want our house back. Fair enough. Alright everyone! Just... Sorry to break up the party everyone but it's time to move it elsewhere, please. Sorry. Thanks for having us, Mr T. It's been spiritual. Yeah, thanks Ollie. No worries mate. Take it easy. Drive carefully. Alright, um... I'm not giving up on us. You will. Just leave them on the, on the table. Drive carefully everyone! Thank God. I thought they'd never leave. Her grief runs deep. I think Lindsay might be like a dam waiting to burst. There is no right way to grieve. And probably far more than five stages. And the process itself is as complex as the people who experience it. Especially if the loss is still a mystery. Loaded with secrets. Um, your Dad's here. Honestly... ..do I look fat on this? No, you, you look... Lovely. As always. Thanks, Arlo. You really have been so good to me. I don't deserve it. Of course you do. You know, I would do anything for someone going through this. You know me and Jared used to get all these postcards from Mum at Christmas and birthdays. Yeah, I heard that. We knew they were from Dad. 'Cause he's got this really bad squiggly handwriting, but we pretended to go along with it just to make him feel better really. It's kind of sweet. In his own strange way I guess... ..he does love you. Yeah. I guess he does. Thanks for being there for me. Your Grandad's waiting for you, love. OK. Laters, George. All the best for today. You sure you don't want us to come? No, we'll keep it just family. I'll see you at the after-match though, eh? Absolutely. You OK? Yeah. Actually, I... ..I'm better than I've been in a long time. Life goes on, eh? Someone's busy. Just finishing my editorial. OK, and what's it about? You'll have to wait and see. Ooh, fighting talk! Hey, you better scoot or you're going to be late for that press conference. What press conference? I've called you all here today to announce that our extensive investigation into the crash that caused the death of Trina Joy McNamara has concluded, and we have determined that Mrs McNamara died on September 12, 2008 after leaving the road in a storm on her way back to Weld. Are there any questions? Yes, Mr Turner? Has foul play definitely been ruled out? Absolutely. The idea of anyone tampering with Trina's car so it fortuitously drove off a cliff in a storm is the stuff of films. And it was definitely a stormy night when the accident happened? Ah, there are some suggestions that it was overcast but possibly verging on storming. Next question? And she was definitely returning to Weld? You know that for sure? Let's just agree that after extensive investigation of the crash scene it is highly probable and far more acceptable, that rather than driving away in anger... ..she was heading home in remorse. And earlier today I informed all the concerned parties accordingly. So unless there are any more questions or problems with the findings... No, I think the findings are perfectly acceptable. In that case, we need a few snaps with the story. The flowers would be nice. Yeah, that would be nice, Constable Tom. Just Tom, please. I'm off duty now. Sometimes a lie is kinder than the truth. Or if something is not actually true, then it should be. So, if a certain story helps people move on with their lives, no longer haunted by the secrets of their past, then I have to say... ..I'm all for it. Look at your boy there, George. He's got it bad, hasn't it? Yeah, I fear it'll end in tears. Yeah, well that's love, isn't it? It's like the dolphins. Or like Bill Jr over there. (LAUGHS) Scarred for life. Were you? Nah, that's different, mate, 'cause every time I look at her it's like the dolphins, except it's the version where the orca gets hold of them and rips them apart, fin from fin. That's not good. No, it's not, mate. It's not ideal. So, what are you going to do about it? Dunno. Have another beer. You? No, I'm good, thanks. So, how's this for a deal? You use the studio whenever you want as long as you show whatever you finish. And in return I might, might unclench long enough to not freak out when you show my art to the world. You know that looking at him all the time isn't exactly going to discourage him, right? What? And it's a deal about the studio. And the Ike thing is all sorted. Is it? Yeah. So, what are you two women of the art world plotting over here? Well, let's just say we're forming a support group and women artists of Weld unite. Sounds excellent. Speaking of support, I might go see how Arlo's doing. So, how's Shay going with your gallery? I think we going to be just fine. Great. Here's to a summer of endless possibilities then, eh? I'll drink to that. (MUSIC) ♪ Life is short ♪ And in no ways easy ♪ Silver lining can be hard to see ♪ Now I've found it ♪ It was always there... ♪ Come on George! Time to bust out some of the moves. I think Weld's seen enough of my moves. (LAUGHS) Oh, that's where I think you're wrong. I read your editorial. I left it out for you to read. And I did. And? I found the dolphin allegory somewhat surprising at first but ultimately quite moving, and entirely consistent with the theme of life going on even in the shadow of death. I illustrated it with Tom's photo of the flowers by the roadside. Mmm. It's almost as if Trina has become our very own Lady Di. Oh, and I corrected your spelling mistakes. Thanks. Shall we dance, my dear? We shall. Are they? They live together. Didn't you know? No. Mm-hm. Wow! Wow, indeed. (MUSIC) ♪ I thank you ♪ You should probably stay ♪ Because I don't want this feeling ♪ To ever go away ♪ Only time ♪ Can hold me down Can hold me down ♪ It makes me better... ♪ (MUSIC HEARD FROM INSIDE) Well, I have to say, as far as wakes go, this one was pretty good. Mum's was better. Well, Mum's didn't have nearly as much dancing. But it did have uncle Terry standing on the balcony shouting at the neighbours like there was no God. My brother, the life and soul of every wake. Wait! You forgot me! We thought you were... Going home... ..where you belong. No way. I mean, Dad's OK today, but tomorrow he'll be bad again. Shotgun! There's a road leading out of town, no one will find her for years. The lights weren't on when we left, were they? Ah... Ah... What? Something I meant to tell you guys. Oh, hey guys! I know you. Yeah, Daniel Cooper. You know my olds. My Dad worked with your wife. Yes, I remember. And you were right, this place really is the backend of nowhere. Dad, Daniel's my boyfriend. From Sydney. MAN AS JACKIE ROBINSON: I AM PROUD OF MY BLACKNESS, PROUD OF THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF BLACK PEOPLE. THINK OF ME AS THE KIND OF NEGRO WHO COMES TO THE CONCLUSION THAT HE ISN'T GOING TO BEG FOR ANYTHING, THAT HE WILL BE REASONABLE BUT HE DAMNED WELL IS TIRED OF BEING PATIENT. JACKIE ROBINSON. HOWARD BRYANT: MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE, WHAT AFRICAN AMERICANS HAVE WANTED FROM AMERICA IS A SEAT AT THE TABLE. JACKIE ROBINSON KNEW ONCE HE GOT IN THE DOOR, HE COULD KNOCK DOWN ALL OF THESE CONVENTIONS. FIRST, YOU GET OUT THERE AND YOU PROVE YOU CAN PLAY. THEN YOU CAN START TALKING BACK TO UMPS. THEN YOU START DEALING WITH WRITERS ON YOUR TERMS INSTEAD OF THEIR TERMS. THEN YOU START FIGHTING TO MAKE SURE THE HOTELS ARE INTEGRATED. AND OVER TIME, JACKIE ROBINSON HAS PUSHED US FORWARD. FOR HIM, THERE WAS NO SATISFACTION WITH SIMPLY BEING ALLOWED TO ENTER THE ROOM. BARACK OBAMA: PART OF WHAT I ADMIRE ABOUT JACKIE ROBINSON IS PRECISELY HIS ABILITY TO APPROACH BASEBALL AND THOSE FIRST TWO YEARS OF INTEGRATION IN WAYS THAT WERE CONTRARY TO HIS CHARACTER OR HIS FUNDAMENTAL SENSE OF WHAT WAS RIGHT AND WRONG IN SERVICE OF A LARGER CAUSE. BUT THAT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT MADE SENSE FOR HIM TO SUSTAIN. HE HAD PURCHASED THE RIGHT TO SPEAK HIS MIND MANY TIMES OVER. NARRATOR: ON APRIL 15, 1947, JACK ROOSEVELT ROBINSON BECAME THE FIRST AFRICAN AMERICAN IN THE MODERN AGE TO PLAY MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL. [CHEERING] IN HIS FIRST SEASON WITH THE BROOKLYN DODGERS, HE HAD SILENTLY ENDURED RACIST TAUNTS, THREATS, AND ABUSE, PERFORMING SPECTACULARLY ON THE FIELD AND BECOMING ONE OF THE MOST CELEBRATED MEN IN THE COUNTRY. LATER, UNBURDENED OF HIS PROMISE TO BRANCH RICKEY TO KEEP QUIET, TO TURN THE OTHER CHEEK, AMERICANS WOULD BEGIN TO SEE THE REAL JACKIE ROBINSON, AND THEY WOULD NOT ALWAYS LIKE HIM. RACHEL ROBINSON: EARLY ON, THEY LIKED JACK, BECAUSE HE WAS BEING A GOOD BOY AND HE WAS DOING WHAT THEY THOUGHT HE SHOULD DO AND HE WAS KEEPING HIS MOUTH SHUT. AND THE MINUTE HE DECIDED TO DEFEND HIMSELF, THEY WOULD CALL HIM UPPITY; THEY WOULD CALL HIM A LOUD MOUTH TO DISCREDIT HIM. NARRATOR: AFTER BASEBALL, HE WOULD SPEAK OUT TIRELESSLY, USING HIS IMMENSE FAME TO PROMOTE EQUALITY AND CREATE BETTER OPPORTUNITIES FOR AFRICAN AMERICANS EVERYWHERE. BUT IN AN AGE OF PROFOUND SOCIAL UPHEAVAL AS HIS INFLUENCE DIMINISHED AND HIS HEALTH DECLINED, HE WOULD SOMETIMES STRUGGLE TO FIND HIS PLACE IN THE RAPIDLY CHANGING CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT HE HAD ONCE SYMBOLIZED. AND HIS HOME, ONCE A HAVEN FROM THE FIGHT OUTSIDE, WOULD SEE UNIMAGINABLE SORROW. RACHEL ROBINSON: JACK NEVER TALKED ABOUT CARRYING THE ASPIRATIONS OF OUR RACE AS A BURDEN. HE ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT IT AS... AS KIND OF OPPORTUNITY. AND HE WAS PROUD, VERY PROUD, WHEN HE SUCCEEDED IN SOME WAY AND DEVASTATED WHEN HE DIDN'T. BUT HE KNEW THAT WE HAD TO HAVE RACIAL EQUALITY IN AMERICA. AND IF WE DIDN'T, IF HE DIDN'T DO HIS PART AND DIDN'T ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO DO THEIR PART, NO CHANGE WOULD HAVE TAKEN PLACE. ALTON WALDON: IT WAS AFTER SCHOOL, WE GO INTO THE STORE, AND WE'RE TRYING TO FIND, UH, WHAT LITTLE CANDIES WE GONNA BUY WITH THESE FEW PENNIES WE HAD IN OUR POCKET. AND IN WALKED OUR HERO, JACKIE ROBINSON. WE WERE STARTLED. AND HE PAID FOR HIS NEWSPAPERS, AND HE TURNED TO WALK OUT, AND HE TURNED BACK AND SAID, "WOULD YOU GUYS LIKE SOME ICE CREAM?" EVERYBODY SAID, "YES, MR. ROBINSON." HE SAID, "NO, NO, NO. CALL ME JACKIE. CALL ME JACKIE." I WAS SO EXCITED... MY KNEES WERE KNOCKING... TO SEE A REAL HERO WHO LOOKED LIKE US. WE SHUFFLED OUR FEET. WE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. WE DIDN'T HAVE THE COURAGE TO SAY ANYTHING. BUT HE SPOKE, YOU KNOW, GAVE US KIND OF A PEP TALK. NOW WE SAW HIM AS SOMEONE WE COULD ALMOST TOUCH. AND HE BECAME EVEN MORE INTENSELY OUR HERO. [VEHICLE HORN HONKS] [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] NARRATOR: IN MARCH OF 1948, JACKIE ROBINSON REPORTED TO SPRING TRAINING 25 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT. HE ADMITTED HE WAS TOO HEAVY BUT SHRUGGED IT OFF. "WAIT UNTIL OPENING DAY," HE PROMISED. [CHEERING] BUT WHEN THE SEASON BEGAN, ROBINSON WAS SLUGGISH ON THE BASE PATHS AND BY MID-JUNE STILL HADN'T STOLEN A BASE. ALTHOUGH HE KEPT HIS BATTING AVERAGE NEAR .300 ALL SUMMER, THE DODGERS FINISHED 1948 7 1/2 GAMES OUT. ROBINSON'S NUMBERS WERE NEARLY AS GOOD AS THE YEAR BEFORE, BUT HE KNEW HE COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. THAT SEASON, JACKIE ROBINSON WROTE AN ARTICLE FOR "EBONY" MAGAZINE CONDEMNING NEGRO LEAGUE BASEBALL. THE CLUBS, HE CLAIMED, WERE UNPROFESSIONAL AND DISORGANIZED, AND SOME OF THE PLAYERS LACKED "CHARACTER AND MORALS." EFFA MANLEY, THE OWNER OF THE NEGRO LEAGUES NEWARK EAGLES, BLASTED ROBINSON FOR TURNING ON THE LEAGUE THAT HELPED GET HIM TO THE MAJORS. "I CHARGE JACKIE ROBINSON WITH BEING UNGRATEFUL," SHE SAID, "AND MORE LIKELY STUPID." GERALD EARLY: JACKIE ROBINSON WAS AN INTEGRATIONIST. SYMBOLICALLY, EVERYTHING HE STOOD FOR WAS ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE BEING ABLE TO HAVE EQUAL ACCESS TO CAREERS AND EVERYTHING ELSE THAT WHITE PEOPLE HAD. BUT THERE WERE LOTS OF BLACK PEOPLE WHO WERE UPSET WITH THAT BECAUSE THEY FELT IT SHOULDN'T BE THAT INTEGRATION SHOULD COME AT THE EXPENSE OF BLACK PEOPLE'S OWN INSTITUTIONS. ONCE INTEGRATION HAPPENED, THE NEGRO LEAGUES WERE NO LONGER VIABLE. AND THEY CRUMBLED. [CHEERING] [BAND PLAYING "THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER"] NARRATOR: AS THE 1949 SEASON BEGAN, BRANCH RICKEY TOLD ROBINSON HE COULD NOW PLAY WITHOUT RESTRAINT. ROBINSON DIDN'T NEED ANY ENCOURAGEMENT. WHEN A REPORTER ASKED HIM WHAT OPPONENTS COULD EXPECT FROM HIM, ROBINSON REPLIED, "THEY BETTER BE ROUGH ON ME, BECAUSE I'M GOING TO BE ROUGH ON THEM." RACHEL ROBINSON: JACK SAID, "WE'VE GOT THIS THING GOING. "THE TEAM IS WINNING. I'M DOING WELL. I'M GONNA SPEAK OUT." AND SO HE BEGAN TO CHALLENGE OTHER BALLPLAYERS AND CHALLENGE UMPIRES WHEN HE THOUGHT THEY HAD MADE A MISTAKE. MAN AS JACKIE: SPORTSWRITERS SEEMED TO COME DIRECTLY TO ME WHENEVER THERE WAS A HINT OF A STORY. THEY KNEW I WOULD SAY WHAT I THOUGHT. THEY KNEW I WOULDN'T BACK DOWN IF I GOT INTO TROUBLE... THAT I WOULDN'T WHINE THAT I WAS MISQUOTED. IT FELT GOOD TO BREATHE FREELY, TO SPEAK OUT WHEN I WANTED TO. NARRATOR: THAT SEASON, ROBINSON PLAYED BETTER THAN HE EVER HAD. BY MID-JULY, HE WAS LEADING THE LEAGUE IN HITS, BATTING AVERAGE, STOLEN BASES, AND RUNS BATTED IN. WHEN ALL THE VOTES WERE TALLIED FOR THE 1949 ALL-STAR GAME, ONLY RED SOX OUTFIELDER TED WILLIAMS HAD RECEIVED MORE. CARL ERSKINE: YOU KNOW, KIDS, THEY'RE HONEST. AND WHEN A KID CAME BACK 3 TIMES FOR MY AUTOGRAPH, I SAID, "WHY WOULD YOU WANT THREE OF MINE?" WELL, HE WAS HONEST. HE SAID, "ACTUALLY I WANT SIX." "IF I CAN GET SIX OF YOURS," "I COULD TRADE IT FOR ONE OF JACKIE ROBINSON'S." NARRATOR: OTHER TEAMS WERE BEGINNING TO INTEGRATE, BUT NO CLUB MOVED AS QUICKLY AS THE DODGERS. CATCHER ROY CAMPANELLA HAD HIT ALMOST .500 IN APRIL. DON NEWCOMBE THREW A COMPLETE GAME SHUTOUT IN HIS FIRST BIG-LEAGUE START AND WON 5 OF HIS FIRST 6 DECISIONS. BUT THE THREE MEN WERE ASSIGNED LOCKERS IN A CORNER OF THE CLUBHOUSE, AND THEY SHOWERED SEPARATELY FROM THEIR WHITE TEAMMATES, MANY OF WHOM WERE STILL UNCOMFORTABLE PLAYING WITH BLACKS. [NEWSREEL MUSIC PLAYING] ANNOUNCER: EBBETS FIELD, BROOKLYN, SCENE OF THE 16th ANNUAL ALL-STAR GAME. JACKIE ROBINSON UP. JACKIE RIFLES A SHOT INTO LEFT FIELD. THE FIRST NEGRO PLAYER TO APPEAR ON AN ALL-STAR GAME, THE BROOKLYN DODGERS SPEED MERCHANT DOESN'T STOP RUNNING TILL HE FLIES INTO SECOND WITH A DOUBLE. NARRATOR: IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS SPECTACULAR 1949 SEASON, ROBINSON WAS ASKED TO TESTIFY BEFORE THE HOUSE UN-AMERICAN ACTIVITIES COMMITTEE, WHICH WAS INVESTIGATING INDIVIDUALS AND GROUPS SUSPECTED OF HAVING COMMUNIST SYMPATHIES. REPORTER: THE COMMITTEE ON UN-AMERICAN ACTIVITIES, ITSELF THE CENTER OF NO LITTLE CONTROVERSY, WAS DELVING THIS WEEK INTO STILL ANOTHER QUESTION OF COMMUNISM: WHERE LIES THE LOYALTY OF OUR NEGRO POPULATION IN THESE DAYS OF CRITICAL COLD WAR TENSIONS? NARRATOR: THE HOUSE COMMITTEE WAS TARGETING THE SINGER, ACTIVIST, AND FORMER COLLEGE FOOTBALL STAR PAUL ROBESON AND WAS SURE THAT JACKIE ROBINSON WOULD REFUTE ROBESON'S CLAIM THAT BLACKS WOULD NOT FIGHT IN CASE OF WAR AGAINST THE SOVIET UNION. PAUL ROBESON: [music] HE DON'T PLANT TATERS [music] [music] HE DON'T PLANT COTTON [music] [music] AND THEM THAT PLANTS 'EM [music] [music] IS SOON FORGOTTEN... [music] ROGER KAHN: YOU HAVE NOT HEARD A BASS BARITONE SING UNTIL YOU HEAR A RECORDING OF ROBESON. ROBESON: [music] ... JUST KEEPS ROLLING ALONG [music] HE WAS ALSO A SERIOUS RADICAL. HE WAS A GREAT FAN OF THE SOVIET UNION. AND HE SPOKE HIS MIND. ROBESON: I' AND YOU LAND IN THE JAIL... I' HARRY BELAFONTE: FOR ME, PAUL ROBESON WAS THE TALLEST TREE IN OUR FOREST. ROBESON STOOD THAT STRONG IN OUR MIDST AS THE KIND OF VOICE, NOT ONLY FOR THE ISSUES AFFECTING BLACK PEOPLE, BUT FOR ISSUES AFFECTING POOR PEOPLE, SAYING, "THIS IS ALSO OUR SPACE, THIS IS ALSO OUR TURF, THIS IS ALSO OUR COUNTRY." NARRATOR: BRANCH RICKEY, FERVENTLY ANTI-COMMUNIST, HAD URGED ROBINSON TO TESTIFY. I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO EXPRESS MY VIEWS ON PAUL ROBESON'S STATEMENTS IN PARIS TO THE EFFECT THAT AMERICAN NEGROES WOULD REFUSE TO FIGHT IN ANY WAR AGAINST RUSSIA BECAUSE WE LOVE RUSSIA SO MUCH. I HAVEN'T ANY COMMENT TO MAKE EXCEPT THAT ON THAT STATEMENT, EXCEPT THAT IF MR. ROBESON ACTUALLY MADE IT, IT SOUNDS VERY SILLY TO ME. IT ISN'T VERY PLEASANT FOR ME TO FIND MYSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF A PUBLIC ARGUMENT THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STANDING OF THE BROOKLYN DODGERS IN THE PENNANT RACE OR EVEN TO THE PAY RAISE I'M GOING TO ASK MR. BRANCH RICKEY FOR NEXT YEAR. [LAUGHTER] NARRATOR: THE "DAILY NEWS" CALLED ROBINSON "A CREDIT NOT ONLY TO HIS OWN RACE, BUT TO ALL AMERICAN PEOPLE," WHILE THE "NEW YORK POST" RAN AN EXCERPT FROM THE STATEMENT AS AN EDITORIAL TITLED "CREDO OF AN AMERICAN." EARLY: THE REACTION IN THE WHITE PRESS, IT WAS, "OH IT'S GREAT. "HE GAVE THIS VERY NICE STATEMENT, "AND HE SAID BLACK PEOPLE WERE LOYAL AND BLACK PEOPLE WERE PATRIOTIC," AND SO FORTH AND SO ON. THE BLACK PRESS, IT WAS MIXED BECAUSE ROBESON WAS SEEN AS A HERO AMONG BLACK PEOPLE. NARRATOR: THE POET LANGSTON HUGHES WRITING IN THE "CHICAGO DEFENDER," WONDERED HOW THE HOUSE COMMITTEE COULD INVESTIGATE "REDS AND SECOND BASEMEN BUT NOT THE KU KLUX KLAN." THE HABIT OF BAD-MOUTHING, ONE WOMAN WROTE OF ROBINSON TO THE "PITTSBURGH COURIER," "IS A SLAVERY TRAIT AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN OUTGROWN." BRYANT: IT'S AN EXAMPLE OF ONE OF ROBINSON'S GREAT MISSTEPS. THE GOVERNMENT WAS USING HIM TO DESTROY ANOTHER AFRICAN AMERICAN. IT'S ALWAYS BEEN A GREAT STRATEGY TO HAVE ONE BLACK PERSON CRITICIZE ANOTHER TO DRIVE A WEDGE BETWEEN THE BLACK COMMUNITY. AND IT WAS VERY EFFECTIVE. NARRATOR: THE INVESTIGATION RUINED ROBESON'S CAREER. THE SINGER HIMSELF DECLINED TO CRITICIZE ROBINSON AND INSTEAD DENOUNCED THE HEARING AS AN INSULT TO ALL NEGRO PEOPLE. MEANWHILE, ROBINSON CONTINUED TO EXCEL ON THE FIELD. ON THE FINAL DAY OF THE SEASON, BROOKLYN CLINCHED THE NATIONAL LEAGUE PENNANT FOR THE SECOND TIME IN THREE SEASONS. BUT IN THE WORLD SERIES, JACKIE STRUGGLED AT THE PLATE. THE DODGERS AGAIN LOST TO THE NEW YORK YANKEES. STILL, 1949 WAS ROBINSON'S FINEST YEAR. [NEWSREEL MUSIC PLAYING] ANNOUNCER: AT HIS ST. ALBANS, NEW YORK, HOME, BROOKLYN DODGER JACKIE ROBINSON LEARNS THAT THE SPORTSWRITERS HAVE VOTED HIM THE MOST VALUABLE PLAYER IN THE NATIONAL LEAGUE. THERE'S A WIFELY KISS FOR JACKIE, WHO LED THE LEAGUE IN BATTING AND STOLEN BASES. SON JACKIE JR. HEARS THE NEWS ON HIS THIRD BIRTHDAY. THE FIRST MEMBER OF HIS RACE TO PLAY IN THE MAJORS MAKES GOOD IN A BIG WAY. NARRATOR: THAT FALL, JACKIE AND RACHEL HAD BOUGHT A HOUSE IN THE MIXED-RACE NEIGHBORHOOD OF ST. ALBANS, QUEENS. THE BANDLEADER COUNT BASIE, SINGER LENA HORNE, AND ROY AND RUTHE CAMPANELLA ALL LIVED NEARBY. THREE-YEAR-OLD JACKIE JR. QUICKLY MADE FRIENDS WITH KIDS ON THE BLOCK. ON JANUARY 13, 1950, RACHEL GAVE BIRTH TO A BABY GIRL, SHARON. JACKIE STOOD OUTSIDE THE YMCA IN HARLEM ANNOUNCING THE GOOD NEWS AND PASSING OUT CIGARS. ARE YOU NERVOUS? A LITTLE, MAYBE. BUT I WON'T BE WHEN WE GET OUT ON THE FIELD. ANOTHER HOUR AND WE'LL BEGIN. WOULD YOU RATHER I DIDN'T GO? NO. YOU MIGHT AS WELL COME TO THE GAME. IF I'M GONNA FALL ON MY FACE, IT MIGHT AS WELL BE IN FRONT OF YOU, TOO. YOU WON'T FALL DOWN, DARLING. NARRATOR: "THE JACKIE ROBINSON STORY," FILMED THAT WINTER, STARRED JACKIE ROBINSON AS HIMSELF, WITH A YOUNG ACTRESS NAMED RUBY DEE PLAYING RACHEL. THE FILM GOT MIXED REVIEWS, THOUGH CRITICS DID PRAISE ROBINSON'S UNDERSTATED PERFORMANCE. MR. RICKEY, DO YOU WANT A BALLPLAYER WHO'S AFRAID TO FIGHT BACK? I WANT A BALLPLAYER WITH GUTS ENOUGH NOT TO FIGHT BACK. THINK YOU'VE GOT GUTS ENOUGH TO PLAY THE GAME NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS? NARRATOR: BUT IT WAS A ONE-DIMENSIONAL PORTRAIT, HELPING TO SOLIDIFY MYTHS ABOUT ROBINSON THAT WOULD PROVE STUBBORNLY HARD TO DISLODGE. SO I HAUL OFF AND PUNCH YOU RIGHT IN THE CHEEK. WHAT DO YOU DO? MR. RICKEY, I'VE GOT TWO CHEEKS. GOOD. [SPECTATORS CHATTERING] NARRATOR: THAT SEASON, JACKIE'S ASSERTIVENESS BEGAN TO RANKLE MANY IN THE BASEBALL WORLD. ROBINSON WAS CERTAIN THAT UMPIRES WERE TREATING HIM DIFFERENTLY... MAKING BAD CALLS, TAUNTING HIM, THROWING HIM OUT OF GAMES WITH LITTLE PROVOCATION BECAUSE HE WAS BLACK. LATER, THE "SPORTING NEWS" WOULD CALL HIM A "CHRONIC GRIPER," AND HE WOULD BE FALSELY ACCUSED OF KICKING IN THE DOOR OF THE UMPIRES' DRESSING ROOM. EARLY: HE HAD A KIND OF FURY IN HIM. I THINK FOR THE PUBLIC, IT WAS MORE IMPORTANT FOR THEM TO SEE A BLACK MAN ARGUING AND BEING FEISTY. IT WAS MORE IMPORTANT FOR THE PUBLIC TO SEE THAT THAN TO SEE THE ROBINSON THEY SAW AT FIRST. NARRATOR: MEANWHILE, BRANCH RICKEY WAS FORCED OUT OF THE DODGERS AT THE END OF THE 1950 SEASON AFTER A POWER STRUGGLE WITH CO-OWN ER WALTER O'MALLEY, LEAVING JACKIE WITHOUT HIS FRIEND AND DEFENDER. THE 1951 BROOKLYN DODGERS WERE LOADED WITH ALL-STARS. AND AS SPRING TRAINING BEGAN, THEY WERE CONFIDENT THAT THEY HAD THE BEST LINEUP IN BASEBALL. BY MID-MAY, ROBINSON WAS BATTING OVER .400 AND THE DODGERS WERE IN FIRST PLACE. BUT HE WAS STILL A TARGET. BEFORE A GAME IN CINCINNATI, LETTERS HAD BEEN SENT TO THE REDS AND THE LOCAL NEWSPAPER CLAIMING THAT JACKIE ROBINSON WOULD BE SHOT IF HE TOOK THE FIELD. NEWCOMBE: I WON'T USE THE WORDS THAT THEY USED, BUT THEY SAID, "IF YOU SHOW UP TODAY AT CROSLEY FIELD, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE." JACKIE SAID, "WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?" I SAID, "WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?" HE SAID, "ARE YOU GOING TO THE BALLPARK TODAY?" I SAID, "ARE YOU GOING?" HE SAID, "YES, I'M GOING." I SAID, "WELL, I'M GOING, TOO." VIN SCULLY: THAT WAS DEADLY SERIOUS. THEY HAD F.B.I. MEN THROUGHOUT THE BALLPARK, ON THE ROOFTOPS. AND THEY HAD A MEETING BEFORE THE GAME. IT WAS PRETTY TENSE. AND IT GOT PRETTY QUIET. AND WHAT... WHAT DO WE SAY? GENE HERMANSKI, KIND OF A KIDDER, SAID, "HEY, SKIPPER, I GOT AN IDEA. "IF WE ALL WORE NUMBER 42, THEY WOULDN'T KNOW WHO TO SHOOT AT." AND JACKIE HAD A GOOD LAUGH. AND HE SAID, "LET'S PLAY BASEBALL." [BAT HITS BALL] NARRATOR: ROBINSON HIT A 3-RUN HOME RUN IN THE FIRST GAME, AND BROOKLYN SWEPT THE DOUBLEHEADER. NO SHOTS WERE FIRED. [NEWSREEL MUSIC] ANNOUNCER: WHO NEEDS FIREWORKS ON JULY 4th? ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SECOND PLACE NEW YORK GIANTS INVADE EBBETS FIELD FORA DOUBLEHEADER AGAINST THE LEAGUE-LEADING BROOKLYN DODGERS. GIANT MANAGER DUROCHER IS... NARRATOR: BY MID-AUGUST, THE DODGERS LED THE NATIONAL LEAGUE BY 13 GAMES AND HAD BEATEN THEIR ARCHRIVALS, THE SECOND PLACE NEW YORK GIANTS, 12 OUT OF 15 TIMES. [CHEERING] BUT THEN BROOKLYN STUMBLED AND THE GIANTS, LED BY MONTE IRVIN AND A GIFTED ROOKIE NAMED WILLIE MAYS, WON 16 GAMES IN A ROW. FRANK GRAHAM JR; THE GIANTS CAME WITH A TREMENDOUS RUSH. AS THEY WERE CALLED IN THE NEWSPAPERS, THE CREEPING TERROR. REPORTER: THE DODGERS NOW BATTLING FOR THEIR PENNANT LIVES. ANNOUNCER: IT'S A HOMER FOR ROBINSON, WHO ONLY A MOMENT BEFORE HAD KEPT BROOKLYN ALIVE WITH AN IMPOSSIBLE DIVING THIRD-OUT CATCH WITH BASES LOADED. NARRATOR: THE DODGERS FINISHED THE SEASON TIED FOR FIRST PLACE AND WOULD NOW FACE THE GIANTS IN A 3-GAME PLAYOFF FOR THE NATIONAL LEAGUE TITLE. THE WINNER WOULD EARN A TRIP TO THE WORLD SERIES AGAINST THE YANKEES. RALPH BRANCA: SO NOW WE HAVE A PLAYOFF. AND WE WON THE TOSS. AND CHARLIE DRESSEN, HE DECIDED WE'D PLAY THE FIRST ONE AT HOME AND THE NEXT TWO AWAY, WHICH IS ASININE. YOU NEED LAST AT-BATS. NARRATOR: THE DODGERS LOST GAME ONE AT HOME, AND THEN CRUSHED THE GIANTS 10-0 THE NEXT DAY IN MANHATTAN. ANNOUNCER: NEW YORK IS BASEBALL WILD OVER A CLIMACTIC WIND-UP FOR THE SUDDEN DEATH GAME IN THE PLAYOFF BETWEEN THE FALTERING DODGERS AND THE STRETCH-RUNNING GIANTS. NARRATOR: ON OCTOBER 3, 1951, THE DODGERS AND GIANTS FACED EACH OTHER FOR A FINAL DECIDING GAME AT THE POLO GROUNDS. GORDON McLENDON: AFTER 156 GAMES EACH, TWO MORE THAN THE REGULAR SCHEDULE CALLS FOR, THE BUMS FROM BROOKLYN, THE GIANTS FROM NEW YORK HAVE COME DOWN TO THE WIRE TO WHERE IT IS ALL OR NOTHING. NARRATOR: WITH THE DODGERS LEADING 4-2 IN THE BOTTOM OF THE NINTH, RALPH BRANCA CAME IN TO FACE THIRD BASEMAN BOBBY THOMSON. THERE WERE TWO MEN ON BASE. RUSS HODGES: AND WE'LL SEE HOW RALPH BRANCA WILL FARE AGAINST BOBBY THOMSON AND THEN WILLIE MAYS TO FOLLOW. BRANCA: THEY BROUGHT ME IN. AND THE FIRST PITCH TO THOMSON... AND HE TOOK IT. YOU COULDN'T PUT IT ANY MORE IN THE CENTER OF THE PLATE THAN THAT. I MEAN IT WAS CROTCH-HIGH, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PLATE. THE SECOND PITCH I'M WASTIN', UP AND IN. BUT HE KNOWS IT'S A FASTBALL. HODGES: ... WITH NOT TOO BIG OF A LEAD AT SECOND, BUT HE'LL BE RUNNING LIKE THE WIND IF THOMSON HITS ONE. BRANCA THROWS. THERE'S A LONG DRIVE. IT'S GONNA BE, I BELIEVE... THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! BOBBY THOMSON HITS INTO THE LOWER DECK OF THE LEFT-FIELD... SCULLY: WHEN BOBBY HIT THE HOME RUN, EVERYBODY STARTED LEAVING THE FIELD. JACKIE STOOD AT SECOND BASE AND MADE SURE THAT BOBBY THOMSON STEPPED ON EACH BAG. TYPICAL. YOU KNOW, WITH EVERYTHING ELSE, UH, HE WAS STILL DOING HIS JOB. RACHEL ROBINSON: JACK SUDDENLY LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT. AND HE BEGAN TO HAVE PAIN IN HIS LEGS. NARRATOR: IN 1952, AT AGE 33, JACKIE ROBINSON WAS DIAGNOSED WITH DIABETES. RACHEL ROBINSON: THE DOCTOR ALSO FOUND THAT HIS HEART WAS DETERIORATING. IT WAS A SHOCK TO BOTH OF US BECAUSE IT MEANT OUR LIVES WERE GOING TO CHANGE FOREVER AFTER THAT. AND THEY DID. HE DIDN'T WANT TO DISCUSS IT WITH ANYONE AND NEVER TALKED ABOUT WHAT CHANGES HE HAD TO MAKE IN ORDER TO KEEP PLAYING. NARRATOR: KONO: All right, so it looks like she came alone. I'll pull up the surveillance footage from outside the Palace as well as nearby traffic cams, see where they went. We got to find her before she forces Dalton to decrypt these files. Danny, grab some earplugs. DANNY: Why? 'Cause you're gonna need 'em. That's not really an answer. I totally thought I was being abducted. I was so happy to wake up in my bunker and not some alien mother ship, but also, same time, a little bummed it didn't happen. I, uh... I need a minute with Oleg. That's fine with me. How's everybody doing? Good? (gun fires) (man screams) No, uh, everything's fine. At ease. Uh, he's got it under control. I'm pretty sure, okay? (man shouting in Russian) Thanks. See? You get it? Yeah. Great. Hey, he, uh, he needs a doctor in there. ("Sweet Emotion" by Aerosmith plays) PILOT: Commander McGarrett, thisisSWATteamDelta. Weareen route toyourlocation. ETA less than one minute. ♪ Sweet... ♪ ♪ Emotion ♪ ♪ Talk about things, and nobody cares ♪ ♪ Wearing out things that nobody wears ♪ ♪ Calling my name, but I got to make clear ♪ ♪ I can't say, baby, where I'll be in a year... ♪ Oh, don't be that way, honey. It was just business. Was any of it real? Well, definitely not the orgasms. (buzzing) ANNA: What happened? DALTON: I don't know. ANNA: What did you do? ! DALTON: Nothing. STEVE: Don't do it. GROVER: Clear! Let's go. Where's the information? Where's the information? Is it safe? Give it to me. Give it to me. (indistinct radio chatter) ♪ ♪ Hey. Hey. Catherine's safe. Well, I mean, she's on a covert op in the Ukraine. I don't know how safe she is. Well, you can contact her, right? Nope, not while she's in the field. DANNY: You gonna be angry 'cause she lied to you again or what? Yeah. Yeah, I'm angry. You know something, Danny, if I'm honest with myself, I also understand why she did it. I mean, given the circumstances, I probably would have done the same thing. Yeah, see, 'cause I think that maybe she just didn't want you worrying about her. Little hard not to now. Huh? I think that she is gonna be fine. She's gonna be fine. She's a very tough lady. She can handle herself. Everything'll be okay. ("Letting Go" by Saint Raymond begins) Thanks, Danny. ♪ Ooh... ♪ ♪ This is the time ♪ ♪ You know that it's right ♪ ♪ I'm letting go... ♪ ♪ In love and in life ♪ ♪ There's no turning back ♪ ♪ I'm letting go... ♪ ♪ Ooh... ♪ ♪ Before the sun is set ♪ ♪ Time to forgive, forget ♪ ♪ Whoa... ♪ ♪ Whoa ♪ ♪ Whatever happens happens ♪ ♪ But it ain't happened yet ♪ ♪ Whoa... ♪ ♪ Whoa ♪ ♪ I'm letting go. ♪ ♪ ♪ (sighs) Hey. Hey. Left you a couple messages. Everything okay? Yeah, I'm fine. I heard about today. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help. No, it's all right. Are you sure everything's okay? No. Chin, there's something I need to tell you. Captioningsponsoredby CBS Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org Tonighton The Curse of Oak Island... Have you ever seen anything like this? No. That's very odd. There's an opening in the ground. Isthisthebackdoor ? That's not natural. Wewantto takealook at the well. Down to the water! Mighttherebe clues down there? What the hell's that? Do you see that? - Wow. - Down slow. Thiswellmaybe associated with the Templars. - Whoa! - What do you got, Tony? Right here on these rocks, I've got a triangle. This thing's amazing. Thereisan island in the North Atlantic wherepeoplehavebeenlooking for an incredible treasure formorethan200 years. Sofar,theyhavefound bits of gold chain, astoneslabwithstrange symbols carved into it, evena 17thcentury Spanish coin. Todate,sixmen havedied trying to solve the mystery. And,accordingto legend, onemorewillhavetodie beforethetreasure can be found. Jack,whydon'tyou hack that tree out of the way. Wow. -That's my big discovery. Well, honestly, David, that is quite odd. Afewdaysago , duringa meeting in the war room, Rick,Martyandmembersofthe Oak Island team were introduced toNewYorkbasedwriter and researcher Zena Halpern by area historian Doug Crowell. Hello? -Hi, Zena, it's Doug. I just gave everyone here a little overview on what your research involves, and that you have some pretty interesting documents. Duringtheirmeeting, Halpern shared withtheteamher discoveryof three ancient documents, whichshebelievesprove a connection between theKnightsTemplar and activities on Oak Island goingbackas far as the 12th century. We have a map that shows Nova Scotia. We have a map of Oak Island. And then we have the cipher. Oneofthemaps,dated1347, showedvarioussites and landmarks on Oak Island thatmatchseveralof the places well known to Rick, Martyandtheteam. The hand-drawn map is clearly Oak Island. Andthenthereare several things, named in French, whichhavebeentranslated for us. Oneiscalledthe basin. Well,thatclearlycorrelates to the swamp. Andthenthere'ssomething on the map which points rightaboutto where the Money Pit is. And then we have two or three things that we don't know anything about. One'scalled"TheAnchors," one's called "The Valve," andone'scalled"TheHatch." WhenOakIsland treasure hunter Jack Begley laterlaidacopyof Zena Halpern's map overa satelliteimage of the island... Look at the top of that. It follows it perfectly. ...theso-called"hatch" matchedthelocationof what Dave Blankenship rememberedasthesite ofa strangedepression near his property. This hatch lands kind of where David said... - The hole is. - Yeah. What would cause it to sink in like this? Something below. Something gave way below. If this is a hatch, it would be a way in, a vertical shaft to enter something. That's very, very odd. It'shardto explain what that is. It's clearly, I think, a hole that's been chiseled into the bedrock by humans. I don't see any other explanation for it, geologically. All right, Jack, if you don't mind, shovel off that gunk down there, and let's see what's underneath there. See that rock directly ahead of you? Does that look placed or is that just part of the bedrock? This looks like bedrock for sure. This isn't laid rock; it's been, you know, chiseled away. It sure looks like it's been chopped away. It was kind of an "aha" moment, you know? Here-here's an opening in the ground. Isthisthebackdoor ? That's pretty solid there. It doesn't sound like rock though. No, it sounds sandy or something. That almost sounded hollow. Almost sounds like wood. Holy smokes. Ahollowwoodensurface? Ina squarehole cut through bedrock? CouldJackbe standing on a secret doorway, perhapsonethatleads directly to the Money Pit? Does it seem to be solidifying at all? Are you hitting a bottom or is it just bottomless there? I'm standing on something solid, but I-I honestly can't tell until we dig up the rest. It's just mud in this top part, and could be anything. - Yeah, okay. - Keep going, Jack. As you look around the sides, does it appear that they're nice and solid anywhere? Well, besides breaking off. Besides knocking the rock out. But no, no large holes or anything that you can see? Yeah, that's solid. Yeah, pretty much. The middle part kind of seems to go further. It's too muddy to be able to tell if this is the bottom. It seems to be narrowing, but at the same time, I almost feel like it's slate mixed with mud continuing on. I don't know if we want to come back with a different method, 'cause it-- this is, this is gonna be real slow from here on out. The shape is strange; I mean, that's a given. Everything's strange about it. It's not natural. You know, even taking an excavator in here, it would be difficult because that's been chiseled down through. You try and dig right there, an excavator isn't gonna pull that up. It might break it up, get underneath of it. It might. - Well... -You can lose a tooth, too. Not only lose a tooth, but if it really is something, do we really want to go that route? I honestly think we should have that archaeologist guy - look at it. Yeah, I mean... - Come look at it? I don't know what that is, but an archeologist might. To me, that is absolutely man-made and, um, obviously old. Yeah, I agree. I totally agree. We should, we should get an opinion. Becausethisso-called"hatch" couldbe an important discovery, MartyandRick's decision to bring in anarchaeologistto examineit is a prudent one. We're not done here; we-we need to figure out what's going on, but, Jack, for right now, you're done-- nice job. Canada has certain requirements for archaeological excavations. Thishatchcouldbe significant, archaeologically, so we want to follow the rules, so we bring in an expert. We're not sure what this thing is. So,that'sonereason to make sure we'redoingtheproperthing. Andtheotherreasonisto see if he can explain it. That was not a pleasant job and you did a nice job. I don't mind getting dirty, Marty. That is why I like having young people around. Whiletheteam waits for the archaeologist -toarrive... -Here they are right now. ...RickLagina and Jack Begley meet withrepresentativesfrom Irving Equipment, Limited. -How's it going? -Lorne Flowers. Lorne, nice to meet you. Havingalready removed all of the old casings fromthisyear's two major target sites, theLaginasandtheirpartners are now ready tobeginthenextphase of their operation: theclearingandpreparation oftheMoneyPit area for what promises to be amassiveexcavation. Okay, so, guys, this is the Money Pit. This is where the activity is gonna start. So why don't we get down and you guys can do what you need to do. -You want to go first? -We going down here? There'slargeequipment coming in. Different types of equipment need to be staged in different areas. There'sa lotof things to consider. BecausetheMoneyPit issusceptibleto flooding, the Laginas and their partners havedecidedto drilltwo approximately40-inch-wide steel-reinforced holes deepinto the most promising sites. Itisan ambitious and risky strategy, andonewhichwill cost the team inexcessof $2 million. That angle of incline getting down into the Money Pit I think has to be addressed. And do we have a large enough area here for you to construct a crane? - Like I say, you level that off a little bit. - Level that off there. How far back do you think? There's an old trail that comes in up over the hill right there. -If we come up that hill there... -Right. ...that'd be just wonderful for us. We could come up here... But we'd-we'd have to push this bank out, -wouldn't we? -Well, take this stuff off the top, the stuff that's no good, and kind of push it to the corners. Well, we got to set up a 100-ton over there, -and other stuff, too, so... -Yeah. Okay, wait, I just-- hang on, then. 100 tons sitting where? That could be a problem for a 100-ton set up. Becauseexcavating the Money Pit willrequirethedrillteam to bring in massive 100-and300-toncranes, RickLaginais understandably concerned about the stability ofthegroundinthearea. Twoyearsago, when trying to find thelocation of the original Money Pit, Rick,Craigandthe team encountered serious problems after a drill rig began sinking into the marshy ground. That ain't good. Whatwillfurther complicate their efforts isthefactthat the Money Pit area hasbeendugup, filled in and re-dug for most of the last 220 years. So there's a concern about putting the 100-ton crane over here, then. - Absolutely. - Yeah, if we set the 300-ton right where we're standing and set the 100-ton perpendicular to it, they can work that hole simultaneously. You're gonna need some surge rock, and maybe even like a... a geogrid, you know, to support the weight of the crane so it doesn't sink into this stuff. Theenormityof the task facing Rick Lagina isbeginningto sinkin. The ground around the Money Pit will need to be leveled andthenreinforced with layers of gravel. Anewaccessroadleading to and from the Money Pit willalsoneed to be constructed. The idea of bringing the road in and coming in here, that's probably the best plan right now is, this is all your-your heavy lay down area. So, this whole area here is gonna be a parking lot. I'd like to keep this as less invasive as possible. The troubling aspect, for me, is: theyneedalargefootprint. So,wewanttomake sure that we do things expeditiously, but also respectfully. Look, we're not gonna inhibit the process, but I would ask you to be good stewards of the history, of the story, of the property. -We'll keep the footprint as small as possible... -Yeah. ...to do our work. If you stripped all the topsoil off here, stockpiled it off to the side, when they're done, just pull it back and replant it. So it'll eventually look like this again. Wedon'twanttorepeat the Dunfield escapade andmakeabombingarea out of this. We don't. Wewantto be environmentally sensitive, but... I'm ready to get into it. We're gonna dig there. I think we have a general outline, a general understanding of what we need to accomplish. - I think it's workable. - Excellent. It sure is gonna look different, I'll say that. Okay, guys, today really is the extension of the trip wetookearliertoNewRoss. Imean,we 'reallexcited about the well. When you put the camera down, I didn't see much in terms of the sides of the well, but the floor, to me, looked very interesting. Whilewaitingfor the team at Irving Equipment to begin prepping the Money Pit area for excavation, RickLagina,CharlesBarkhouse andarearesearcher Doug Crowell aretraveling,onceagain, to the town of New Ross, approximately20milesnorth of Oak Island. I definitely saw what I thought was a-a straight line, and it almost looked like it was engraved, -you know what I mean? -Yes. Lastweek, basedoninformation provided by Zena Halpern, Rick,CharlesandDoug visited a site believedtocontainthe ruins ofanancientTemplarCastle. Atthesite,theyfound whatappearedto be a weathered carving of a cross. On the face of the stone, you can see a very faint outline of a cross. No ordinary cross, but the cross of the Knights Templar. Andwhentheyput acamera downanancientstonewell on the property... That look like flagstone floor? ...they found possible evidence thatcouldlinkNew Ross to the Oak Island mystery. Now, didn't they find flagstone -at the Money Pit? -Yeah, they did, at two feet down, they did find flagstones, yes. Maybe it's a ceiling and there's another chamber beneath? Mighttherebe afalsebottom? Might there be a carving in that flagstone, if you will. Very, very much looking forward to Tony's... Tony's dive today. Now,heretheyare , all set to go. Tofurther investigate the well, Rickhasenlistedthe help of professional diver TonySampson and his support team. If there's information down there, this is the guy and the crew to take care of it. Well, we're curious if the well has something that's not visible-- just like the Money Pit had things underneath that were not visible on the surface. If something is indeed hidden here, the well could be one way to-to reach it. Okay, in my perfect world, I would fall into the chamber below it-- full of gold. - Okay? Why don't we head up there and take a look. Yeah, let's get started. Althoughproof of Knights Templar activity inNorthAmerica has never been established, there are many who believe that not only was there activity, butthatthereisevidence thattheTemplarsmighthave visited the New World asfarbackas the 12th century, morethan300years before the journey ofChristopherColumbus in 1492. InScotland'sRosslynChapel-- which was built by the grandson of suspected Templar Knight HenrySinclairin 1486-- thewallsareillustrated with images of corn, alongwithrepresentations of a plant known as trillium, bothuniqueto NorthAmerica. Butevenmorecurious are the testimonies oftheFirstNationspeople of Nova Scotia, theMi'kmaq. Theirlegendstellstories of a mysterious stranger knownasGlooscap, whomanybelievetobe Henry Sinclair himself. Butperhaps even more astounding istheeeriesimilarity between the Mi'kmaq flag andthebattleflagof the Knights Templar. Theyarenearlyone and the same. - So, Tony, we'll probably have to remove this lid. - And the water level looks a little lower than it was before. Awesome. Can you see the cut marks on the stones on the bottom? My impression was there was a couple stones down there, and it almost looked like a-a milled edge that sat really tightly together, and maybe was indented along the seam. That was my impression of what was down there. So, it looked like two fitted stones, with a crease quite a ways down the middle of it. I mean, look, there's not a lot of space down there, so... how are you gonna orient yourself to take a look-see? What we're gonna do, Rick, is we're gonna set a frame up here and we're gonna have a beam across the top, and we're gonna set up a Bosun's chair. So, I've pretty much got my ass on the chair, going down. I'm gonna video 360, going down the whole way. Okay, what say you? Let's make this happen. Okay. Tosafelydescend down the stone well, Tonyandhisteam are constructing what is known asa Bosun'schair. Attachedtoapulleysystem, thechairis manually controlled to stop, raiseandlowerTony, as needed. Itwillalsoenablehim to rotate 360 degrees, allowingfor a complete inspection ofthewell'sinterior. So, Tony, what's-what's the rig set up here? It-it kind of looks similar to what Dan went down in-- in 10-X. -Fill me in here. What's... Okay, so what we're gonna do is I'm gonna go down there, - have a 360 around, just doing a chair check... - ...before I get the hard hat on and suited up. Checking out to see if there's any foreign objects, debris that might come down on top of me. And then, once-once I've checked her out, top of the water level, um then I'll, come back up and get suited up. -Okay. Jump on. -Fantastic. Okay. -Cool, buddy. Let's give it a go. -Yeah. Okay, up. Okay. Lower down. - Down slow. -That's good now, yeah. Down four. Slower four. What do you got there, Tony? Loose one? Yeah, I've got a loose rock here, mate. I want to take that out, um, before we go any further. It's...if that comes down, it's, it's bad news, man. Got it. That could make a good day go bad really fast. Okay, I'll take that hard hat back. -Here you go. -Thanks, Mike. Take me down probably another two feet, Mike. Roger. Okay, hold fast there. All stop. Well, that's kind of weird. What did you find down there, Tony? These, right here on these rocks here... Geez. Rick? -I've got, um... what could be a triangle. It's got a line across the bottom, pointing straight up at you from here. It's got some little pattern in the middle. - You got that light, Nick? - All right, here you go. This thing's amazing. Some20miles from Oak Island, inthetownofNewRoss, diver Tony Sampson hasjustfound a mysterious triangle carvedinside an old stone well. Let's get a picture. Let's get a real clear photograph of it. Itislocatedona property believed to have been inhabited by members oftheKnightsTemplar, more than five centuries ago. Whoa, beautiful. Okay, camera up, buddy. There's something there. You don't put a mark on a stone, you know, halfway down a well. why in a well? -Yeah, exactly. Yeah. -Right? -TIM: Right. Okay, Mike. Bring us up, buddy. Up slow. Wow. Rick, take a look at this. -Look at that. -What? -No way. -That's carved, without a doubt. Yeah, I would say so. That's... doesn't look natural to me. There's no doubt in my mind that that's etched in there. It certainly has the appearance of being cut into the stone. Yeah, it does. Well, what is that in there? Like a little dot? -Yeah. It's like it's got an eye in the middle. My God, yeah, I can see it. Acarvedtriangle? Withaneyeinthecenter? Therearelotsof triangular shapes associatedwithOakIsland. The triangle shape meant something to the Templars. Isthataconnection? Perhaps. Thesymbolof atriangle-- orpyramid--withaneye depicted in the center isknownas "The Eye of Providence," orthe"all-seeingeye ." Itwasadoptedby the Freemasons inthelate18thcentury, althoughtherearemany who believe that it dates back muchearlierto thedays of the Knights Templar. In1935, U.S.President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, aFreemasonwhohad actually searched for treasure onOakIslandasa youngman, instructedthattheall-seeing eye be added to the design oftheone-dollarbill. Itisalsothe shape of a triangle that appears inthecarvingson the mysterious 90 Foot Stone, andwhichcanbe seeninthedimensions of the Oak Island swamp, whichmanybelieve to have been man-made. Okay, yep, she's good, buddy. So, next step, you're gonna get geared up? -Yep. -Perfect. Comms check, one, two, three, four, five. Loud and clear on this end, Tony. Roger that, buddy. Let us know what you need. AssistingTony at the surface is safety diver andcommunicationssupervisor Mike Huntley. IfTonyencounters any kind of danger, or needs assistance underwater, Mikewilldescendthe well to help him. You got to plant your ass on that board. Okay. Roger that. Down slow. Roger, down to water. Down to the water! Yeah, roger, we have visual on the camera here. Lower Tony down. Down two more feet! Diver's in the water. - All stop. - All stop. Actually, visibility's great. Lower Tony down! Lowering down. AsI 'msittingthere watching the monitor, youknow, you're always hopeful. Nomatterwhere the search takes you, you want so desperately to see something that answers a question. Justgiveus aclue. Justoneclue. Where is he in relation to the bottom? Are his feet on the bottom? Are you touching bottom yet? Roger, on bottom. Is the bottom rough, smooth? Hey, Tony, can you feel with your feet at all whether or not the bottom is smooth or rough? Roger that. How deep? Can you tell how deep it is? Okay, roger. Two feet. Okay, roger. Visibility's not that great. It that the same down there? He lost visibility because he's stirring it up. Clouded up just like 10X. We lost all visibility. Whenthewellgot murky, itwasmoreasense of "not again." Another dive where we can't see anything. BecauseI wasabsolutely convinced that ithadbeen a fitted stone bottom. Up five feet! All stop! DiverTonySampson has just found anotherpossibleclue in an old stone well, whichsomeresearchersbelieve to have been built bymembers of the Knights Templar. That's a Broad Arrow! I see something. Do you guys not see that in there? Show... show me... show me what you're seeing. Right there. But when he comes at a different angle... Okay, okay, there I see it. -Yep. You see it now? -Yeah, yeah. I see it there. Right here, here and there. You got her. Whenitcametome, then I could see it. The left side of the point, ifyouwill, saw that well-defined. Sawthe-thestem,ifyouwill, or the shaft of the arrow. And you think that's the King's Mark? -Yeah. -What they call the King's Mark? Yeah, no mistake. TheBroadArrow, alsoknownas "The King's Mark," wasfirstused in the early 14th century byKingEdwardIII ofEngland. Itwaslateradopted by the British government andusedto mark government property. Butwhywould a Broad Arrow carving appear ata sitebelieved to have been established bymembers of the Knights Templar? Roger that. Up slow on turnbuckle. All the way up. Okay. All stop. If it's a King's Mark, legitimately, thenI thinkwhereIwouldgo at this point would be: isthatsymbolinanyway associated with the Templars? And that demands further research. - Welcome to the surface. -Thanks, guys. So you saw the feed on from the camera up there? -Yeah. -We did. But I need a firsthand account here. What'd you see? She's definitely, um... That's not a flat bottom down there. There is hard, large rocks on the bottom. And I'm guessing... -Not flat though? -No, no, not flat. But there is a lot of debris down there. -Sure. -Most interesting thing probably was, um, what appeared to be that broad head arrow mark. But it's one of those universal characters -that, you know, it stands for the King's Mark. -Yeah, exactly. What else can it stand for? A directional symbol? It may be an arrow that was used for a different purpose. Exactly, yeah. I mean that's... All that is, is my take on it. That's my part of history that I-I know. But, I mean, symbolically, is that symbol used by other people? I don't know. Well, it's a symbol on the 90 Foot Stone. -Is that right? -Yeah. A triangle is on the 90 Foot Stone, an arrow symbol is on the 90 Foot Stone. Isitpossible that what appears to be acarvingof aBroadArrow, or the King's Mark, issomethingquitedifferent? Coulditbe , as Doug Crowell insists, anotherimportantclue-- onelinkingthecarvings found at New Ross tothe90 FootStone found buried intheOakIslandMoneyPit? Tim, you've taken the first step on a longer journey. -Yes. -Congratulations. Welcome to Oak Island. Okay, let's gear up and go home. Onedayafter the team's productive investigationatNewRoss, Rick,Martyandmembers of the Oak Island team meetwitharchaeologist Laird Niven. -Hello. -Hello. They'veinvitedhim to investigate the strange square-shapedholefoundnear Dave Blankenship's property. Okay. Laird, we got something we think -really peculiar. -Excellent. A theorist named Zena sent us an old French map that has a bunch of locations that correspond to the island, -that are known. -Okay. And one of them that's unknown is a hatch. Themapis avery rudimentary sketch, if you will, of the island. You know, I mean, are we hoping that it's a trap door? - Absolutely. But perhaps you have an explanation of it. And, really, the only way to do it is to set eyes on it, so... Yeah. Why don't... why don't we take a look. Couldtheso-calledhatch reallybeevidence of an underground tunnel onOakIsland? Perhapsonethatleads directly to the Money Pit? It'dbeincredibly intriguing if he says, "Youguysreallyare onto something here. "It's a possibility that it's a shaft, a tunnel, aman-madeopeningtothearea below Oak Island." Idon'tknowwhathe's gonna say, but perhaps he can give us some insight. Just a hole in the ground. It's odd. Has it collapsed in, did you say? - Some. - Here's the thing. This is all flat, then sometime later, -all this earth goes somewhere. -Yeah. That's what puzzles us. It's just not a natural phenomena. -Yeah. -I don't believe it. -Definitely. -Not-not in slate. I definitely agree with that, yeah. So, it could have been a lot deeper. Maybe there was a wood hatch, and then it rotted away, and that's what made it slump all of a sudden. Jack, we can "what if" till the cows come home. Exactly. Have you ever seen anything like this? -That's exactly what I was gonna ask. -No. No. that'sstrange. Yes, it is strange. Onthewesternside of the island, Rick,Marty and members of the team have invited area archaeologist Laird Niven tohelpin theirinvestigation of a strange, square-shapedhatch. Ifthehatchcan be identified as man-made, andofancientorigin, thenthebrothersmay have found another important clue tohelpthemsolve the Oak Island mystery. It does seem like rocks have been removed. That's been cut. That's not natural, and this... this is pretty loose fill. It keeps going for a bit, you can see. You... so, you think it goes off to the side? At least for a little bit. Thethingwe obviously want it to be is the entrance to a tunnel. Andtherewere some evidence of that. Hethoughtthreeofthesides were solid, but on... at least on one side, he thought it might go off, somewhat. It warrants further investigation. So, where should we go? Who should we notify? How do we do this? Well, if I was to investigate it as an archaeologist, I'd get a permit, probably remove -some of these small trees. -Right. Is there any prohibition against if you're just digging it out with a hand shovel? I mean, we just don't want -to get afoul with the rules, you know. -Right. -I couldn't do it without a permit. -Right. I think this is a disclosure deal, then. We just tell whoever in the government. -Yeah. -Yeah. We'regonnago ahead and disclose it to the authorities, so we have some permitting issues to work our way through before we dig over there. RickandMarty'sdecision toinvolve the Canadian government willcostthemtime, butwillbe beneficialto the process in the long run. Therearemanywho believe thatOakIsland is a national treasure, andquitepossibly a sacred archaeological site. Althoughtwocenturies of treasure hunting haveseentheislanddugup, bulldozed and even detonated, theLaginasandtheirpartners have been determined totakeamoreresponsible and scientific approach. All right, I think we've done what we need to do here. Well, we have a... you know, -a logical way to pursue it. -Right. -Thank you very much. -All right, no problem at all. Wegot the three engineers here. So, there are some logistical issues, I think, with... you know, boring down into the Money Pit. -You know, we have the targets, right? -Yeah. IntheWarRoom, Marty Lagina, his partner CraigTesterandMarty'sson Alex have gathered todiscussthenextphase in their exploration of theOakIslandMoneyPit. So, once we get close to the target zones, I mean, they're gonna be bringing up a lot of material that we're gonna have to get a... at least a real quick look at... right away. Yeah, I could calculate that. Have you calculated -how many yards per foot? -I have not. Let's do that. We'vegottheresources, we've got the ability, and we have the drive. Wereallyhope this is the year. Wewantto get to the bottom of this. So... if you're interested from say... 115 to 135? -Hey, Rick. 'Sup? -Hey, guys. -RICK: Hey. We're just going over, casing logistics. So it's about... yeah, about a yard every three feet. So, 30 feet would be ten yards. It's not that bad. I mean, it's a lot of material. It's not if you're looking at... for a chest. Yeah, that's the key. Now, a different sized casing down hole will have a bit of a gap between, but that's where I'm starting to get concerned is that we're just gonna get too close. What's up with you guys? It's...it's sad news. You know... I just got an e-mail from Tom Nolan and... Fred Nolan has passed away. Thesuddennews that 89-year-old landowner andfellowtreasurehunter Fred Nolan hasdiedsendsshockwaves through the Oak Island team, especially in light of the fact that they had hoped toworkmoreclosely with him this year. - How do you feel about that? - I'm sad. You know, I'm deeply affected by it, by the news. I... You know, we came here-- all of us-- came here with this sense of putting a stamp to the story. Then, I think, you and I specifically, we came here with the quest. Part of the quest, if you will, was to give the aging lions-- your father and Fred-- a sense of completion, a sense of: here's the proof for, between them, 110 years of search, legitimate, hard-won, hard-fought search. Alandsurveyorbytrade, FredNolanspent more than six decades lookingfortreasure on Oak Island. ItwasFred who first discovered themysterious collection of boulders knownasNolan'sCross. Hedidextensiveexplorations oftheisland's strange triangle-shaped swamp. Andhealsomeasured and analyzed numerouscarvings, artifactsandotheranomalies thathecollected over the years. - I've been at it for so long now... - ...that if I didn't relate this kind of stuff, - who'd put it together again? - Exactly. You know, I'm not sure how your father is gonna take it. Speaking of which, does he know? Not yet. I think we should go tell Dan. I'd like to. Let's do that, guys. Hey,Daniel. Hey,Marty! Howareyou,partner? -Good. So, Dan... I have some, um... some... what I consider to be sad news. Fred Nolan has passed away. Formostof theirtime onOakIsland,Dan Blankenship and Fred Nolan were engaged -inanintenserivalry. - Sit down. Onewhichonlyseemed to grow even more bitter withthepassageoftime . Imean,it waslike the Hatfields and McCoys outhere,so now,regretfully, Fred'spassedon , and it will bring change. Imean,thishas alwaysbeen the Fred Nolan and Dan Blankenship story for 60 odd years and now it won't be anymore. Do you remember when you first met Fred? Yeah. I came up here in '65. Fred had been on the island several years earlier than I was. I had quite a few conversations with him over the period of time. He's like... I guess like all treasure hunters, I mean, a little bit on the secretive side, you know. Youknow, I don't know how Dan reallyseesFred'spassing. But, look, they both persevered intheface of all kinds of adversity. Theyrisked,theysweated, they worked, they labored towards the common goal. You don't get any closer than that. So,tothatend ,Iguess, theywerecloser than they thought. You know, whenever Rick would talk about this place, it was always about, well, Blankenship's doing this and Nolan's doing that. But we always thought, or it was our hope, - that we could work together. - Yeah. - It was my belief that we could. - Well, we did. We did work together. Sounds like, to me, that you see it, and I think we all do really, we see Oak Island as a big giant puzzle. I know that Fred told me once that that's how he saw it, -a big giant puzzle. -That's why they call it - the Oak Island mystery. -Exactly. So, you know, we got to get busy and start putting pieces into the right places. - Amen. - Amen. - All right. - Okay, Dan. Okay, off we go. We'll get back to work. Yeah. Hey, remember, you're not going anywhere. Okay. See you, Daniel. -See you later, Dad. -Okay, Dave. Well, all I can say is, you know, it's a partial passing of the old guard, and I'm gonna miss him. Okay, but we got to move forward. We got to move forward. Siempre avante. Mymomwouldalwayssay "siempre avante"-- always forward, keep going. How many years' work is this map represent? 40, 50 years. -Wow. Fred'spassing affected me in two ways. One,itwasthe fact that he is now gone andI 'llnever shake his hand again. I'll never know what he knew, and... it's impactful with Dan because now there's but one remaining. AndI wantto refocus and re-energize and recommit. Becauseoutof respect for both of them, Iwantanswers. ForRick,Marty and their partners, Fred'spassingis areminder thatlifeis short, progressmustcontinue, andthatthetimetosolve the Oak Island mystery isnow. Nexttimeon The Curse of Oak Island... It'stheactualstart of this Money Pit dig. The story of Oak Island revolves around this spot. You'rea partof historynow . So, these are the interesting targets in the swamp. Let's get out there and get some answers. Theeasiestthingis to put a diver back in there. - I've got something! - What is that? - Wow, it's huge. - What is this? - What does that look like? - It looks like an X, with a hook. Isthatsymbolthe Templars? Tonight on The Curse of Oak Island... Have you ever seen anything like this? No. That's very odd. There's an opening in the ground. Is this the back door? That's not natural. We want to take a look at the well. Down to the water! Might there be clues down there? What the hell's that? Do you see that? - Wow. - Down slow. This well may be associated with the Templars. - Whoa! - What do you got, Tony? Right here on these rocks, I've got a triangle. This thing's amazing. There is an island in the North Atlantic where people have been looking for an incredible treasure for more than 200 years. So far, they have found bits of gold chain, a stone slab with strange symbols carved into it, even a 17th century Spanish coin. To date, six men have died trying to solve the mystery. And, according to legend, one more will have to die before the treasure can be found. Jack, why don't you hack that tree out of the way. - Wow. - That's my big discovery. Well, honestly, David, that is quite odd. A few days ago, during a meeting in the war room, Rick, Marty and members of the Oak Island team were introduced to New York based writer and researcher Zena Halpern by area historian Doug Crowell. - Hello? - Hi, Zena, it's Doug. I just gave everyone here a little overview on what your research involves, and that you have some pretty interesting documents. During their meeting, Halpern shared with the team her discovery of three ancient documents, which she believes prove a connection between the Knights Templar and activities on Oak Island going back as far as the 12th century. We have a map that shows Nova Scotia. We have a map of Oak Island. And then we have the cipher. One of the maps, dated 1347, showed various sites and landmarks on Oak Island that match several of the places well known to Rick, Marty and the team. The hand-drawn map is clearly Oak Island. And then there are several things, named in French, which have been translated for us. One is called the basin. Well, that clearly correlates to the swamp. And then there's something on the map which points right about to where the Money Pit is. And then we have two or three things that we don't know anything about. One's called "The Anchors," one's called "The Valve," and one's called "The Hatch." When Oak Island treasure hunter Jack Begley later laid a copy of Zena Halpern's map over a satellite image of the island... Look at the top of that. It follows it perfectly. The so-called "hatch" matched the location of what Dave Blankenship remembered as the site of a strange depression near his property. This hatch lands kind of where David said... - The hole is. - Yeah. What would cause it to sink in like this? Something below. Something gave way below. If this is a hatch, it would be a way in, a vertical shaft to enter something. That's very, very odd. It's hard to explain what that is. It's clearly, I think, a hole that's been chiseled into the bedrock by humans. I don't see any other explanation for it, geologically. All right, Jack, if you don't mind, shovel off that gunk down there, and let's see what's underneath there. See that rock directly ahead of you? Does that look placed or is that just part of the bedrock? This looks like bedrock for sure. This isn't laid rock; It's been, you know, chiseled away. It sure looks like it's been chopped away. It was kind of an "aha" moment, you know? Here-here's an opening in the ground. Is this the back door? That's pretty solid there. It doesn't sound like rock though. No, it sounds sandy or something. That almost sounded hollow. Almost sounds like wood. Holy smokes. A hollow wooden surface? In a square hole cut through bedrock? Could Jack be standing on a secret doorway, perhaps one that leads directly to the Money Pit? Does it seem to be solidifying at all? Are you hitting a bottom or is it just bottomless there? I'm standing on something solid, but I-I honestly can't tell until we dig up the rest. It's just mud in this top part, and could be anything. - Yeah, okay. - Keep going, Jack. As you look around the sides, does it appear that they're nice and solid anywhere? Well, besides breaking off. Besides knocking the rock out. But no, no large holes or anything that you can see? Yeah, that's solid. Yeah, pretty much. The middle part kind of seems to go further. It's too muddy to be able to tell if this is the bottom. It seems to be narrowing, but at the same time, I almost feel like it's slate mixed with mud continuing on. I don't know if we want to come back with a different method, 'cause it... this is, this is gonna be real slow from here on out. The shape is strange; I mean, that's a given. Everything's strange about it. It's not natural. You know, even taking an excavator in here, it would be difficult because that's been chiseled down through. You try and dig right there, an excavator isn't gonna pull that up. It might break it up, get underneath of it. It might. - Well... - You can lose a tooth, too. Not only lose a tooth, but if it really is something, do we really want to go that route? I honestly think we should have that archaeologist guy - look at it. Yeah, I mean... - Come look at it? I don't know what that is, but an archeologist might. To me, that is absolutely man-made and, um, obviously old. Yeah, I agree. I totally agree. We should, we should get an opinion. Because this so-called "hatch" could be an important discovery, Marty and Rick's decision to bring in an archaeologist to examine it is a prudent one. We're not done here; We-we need to figure out what's going on, but, Jack, for right now, you're done... nice job. Canada has certain requirements for archaeological excavations. This hatch could be significant, archaeologically, so we want to follow the rules, so we bring in an expert. We're not sure what this thing is. So, that's one reason to make sure we're doing the proper thing. And the other reason is to see if he can explain it. That was not a pleasant job and you did a nice job. I don't mind getting dirty, Marty. That is why I like having young people around. While the team waits for the archaeologist - to arrive... - Here they are right now. Rick Lagina and Jack Begley meet with representatives from Irving Equipment, Limited. - How's it going? - Lorne Flowers. Lorne, nice to meet you. Having already removed all of the old casings from this year's two major target sites, the Laginas and their partners are now ready to begin the next phase of their operation: The clearing and preparation of the Money Pit area for what promises to be a massive excavation. Okay, so, guys, this is the Money Pit. This is where the activity is gonna start. So why don't we get down and you guys can do what you need to do. - You want to go first? - We going down here? There's large equipment coming in. Different types of equipment need to be staged in different areas. There's a lot of things to consider. Because the Money Pit is susceptible to flooding, the Laginas and their partners have decided to drill two approximately 40-inch-wide steel-reinforced holes deep into the most promising sites. It is an ambitious and risky strategy, and one which will cost the team in excess of $2 million. That angle of incline getting down into the Money Pit I think has to be addressed. And do we have a large enough area here for you to construct a crane? Like I say, you level that off a little bit. - Level that off there. How far back do you think? There's an old trail that comes in up over the hill right there. If we come up that hill there... Right. That'd be just wonderful for us. Yes. Okay. We'll be there. What is it? What's wrong? What's going on? We have to dismember her limbs and separate them in different places. Carmen, look for garbage bags. We'll have to create a safe zone with the bags. I don't know who it is, but they better be here quick. I'm sick of sitting here. Hello, ladies. - It's you. - Heh. You know, you see a lot of crazy things renting out an apartment in Hollywood, but I would have never have expected to have seen what I saw with three innocent, beautiful, successful women like yourselves. - The smoke alarm. - You asshole. Hey. So you like to videotape your guests? You sick piece of shit. You three are the first, and I'm not a sick piece of shit. Just a desperate man, no different than the three of you. When I recognized Carmen from her rental profile picture, I thought to myself, "well, maybe this was an opportunity to take care of some financial burdens." So I thought that maybe if I caught her walking around naked or enjoying the company of a man, well, you know. Sex tapes, they do, oh, so well. But what I got? Oh, man, what I got was so much better than anything i could have ever imagined. You're disgusting. So why wait four months to contact us? Well, I'm a smart man, and I know what I want. I know you got that movie deal. I know you're starring in it. Congratulations. I'm a nice guy, but I'm also a businessman, and I'm willing to get rid of those tapes, each and every one of them. And that's why we're here-- giving you three a chance to repent, forgive yourselves. And how do we do that, you snake? I think a million dollars will help you heal and cleanse that darkness you've gotta be carrying with you. Bastard. You can cover that. No, I know how this works. - Oh, do you? - Mm-hmm. Once we pay you, then in three more months, we hear from you again looking for more money to keep quiet. We were acting in self-defense. Self-defense? Mutilating, chopping up a lifeless body, that's self-defense? You three are crazier than I thought. I made you all an offer. I keep my word. What are you gonna do? 911. What's your emergency? CHEERING Tonight on 8 Out of 10 Cats. Our Pointless friend, it's Richard Osman! She's having a laugh, it's Ellie Taylor! And their team captain, Rob Beckett! And facing them tonight. Acting funny, it's Jessica Knappett! Here for the craic, it's David O'Doherty! And their team captain, Aisling Bea! Now welcome your host, Jimmy Carr! Hello, and welcome to 8 Out of 10 Cats, a show about opinion polls, surveys, and statistics. Did you know, for example, 50% of people say they feel they're not living life to the full. Come on, how can you say that? You're sitting on your own, watching E4, in your pants, eating a yoghurt. It's pretty full-on. Tinder has 10 million active daily users. Oh, yeah, it's got users all right. You could've called me, Carlos. You could've called. And 64% of teenagers think they have it harder than their parents. Well, I'd like to say to those teenagers, they're wrong. No-one has ever had it harder than your mum. Right, let's get started! What Are You Talking About? That's the name of our first round. It's our panellists' job to guess the nation's top three most popular Brits. Aisling's team, who do you think are the most popular people in Britain? Uh, JK Rowling. She's become incredibly successful, a global phenomenon. Yeah. Do you love her? Oh, I love her, I've read, have you read all the Harry Potter books? No, I'm 32. But... ..I've read a lot of her work, on Twitter, which I think is genius. Because she is... Sorry, sorry, actually... Yeah, no, no, the books are stupid, they're childish, it's silly. I mean, she is a woman who basically has become a billionaire by taking children's pocket money. She's a genius in my book. Did you see recently, speaking of Twitter, she's had this big Twitter spat with Joanna Trollope? It's actually really hard when someone's called a Trollope already to work out what to call them. But I love the idea of, like, authors having feuds. That, like, she's driving by Joanna Trollope's house in her Beamer, going "What's up, Joanna Trollope? "Bitches writing witches!" Why is she wasting her time arguing with people on Twitter when she's a billionaire? If I was a billionaire, I'd go in Argos and buy one of everything. I mean, that, that's literally everything we need to know about you in one sentence. Rich, have you read these books, the Harry Potters? I haven't. You know what, I do, I think, you know, she's made it OK for a whole generation of children to read again, which I genuinely think is a real shame. Because when I was growing up, you were allowed to just watch television. Kids these days have to read. My daughter read all the Harry Potter books, I had to read some of them. They... It's fine. But I say to my son, "Why don't you read this thing? "It's good, it's got wizards, and there's like lots of deaths." And he honestly goes, "You know there are video games, right? "Why on earth would you be reading a book when there's a video game?" Quite a positive message there for the future of Britain. I quite like it. You can't help the truth! Computer games are better than books, and so are films. Because you don't have to do the thinking, it's there. You know what I mean? And you know what, I think Steven Spielberg's got a better idea of what I want to watch than what I do. I've got a pretty good idea of what you want to watch. Yeah? Yeah. Are you flirting with me? So David, you've read the books, right? Yeah, I mean, they're just, they're quite complicated. You know? I will say that about them, it's just generally, I feel I grew up in a more simple time, when a wizard had a pointy hat, you know? It was a man, a woman that was a wizard was a witch, and had a cow, uh, or a cat. A cow? Sorry, yeah... It's quite complicated, people. They're quite complicated, David wasn't able to remember all the facts. I love all the Harry Potter books. The only thing is, like, Hogwarts is not a great school. Every year, they have a rather large amount of accidents involving children, at least one of the staff members get murdered, like, Ofsted should be stepping in. "What is going on here? There's a snake in the sewer." I've not really read Harry Potter, I've not watched the films. It's, it just, it reinforces the fact that boarding schools are weird, innit? The reason you wouldn't enjoy it is because the kid with hair like yours is the baddie. We're always the baddie! I heard the best, uh, Harry Potter chat-up line, was a guy saying, "I'm Draco Malfoy, can I slither in?" Ohh! What I like about films is, um, you know, cos Daniel Radcliffe as Harry Potter, it was so method, he's actually stayed a child. Have you seen you? What? Shall we have a look at, uh... I mean, obviously JK Rowling has legions of fans. This may be her biggest fan. Hello, I'm Harry Potter himself. You're looking for America's biggest Harry Potter fan. But you're in luck, you found the world's biggest Harry Potter fan. In 2006, watch it, steady on. In 2006, I went and saw JK Rowling in New York City. Where she signed this. And this. Which is now one of four tattoos on my body. With plans for more. APPLAUSE Uh, fun fact, that is the man that kills JK Rowling. If he ever has sex, he's going to shout out Expelliarmus, isn't he? I don't think he needs to worry about that. David, you write children's books, which are, and I've got the statistics here, much less successful. It's difficult to quantify the joy you bring to children, but, yes, I bring a lot of joy to children, carry on. So you've written, what children's books have you written? I've written a series of books called Danger Is Everywhere, which is, uh... Not as good as Harry Potter. David, David, can I ask you a sensible question about it? Who's in the films of your books? OK, well, let's have a look and see if JK Rowling is up there. Yes, it's JK Rowling! JK Rowling was once unemployed and living on state benefits. But now, she's richer than the Queen. Who, ironically, is unemployed and living on state benefits. OK, Rob, Rich, Ellie, who else is the nation's favourite Brit? Um, I think people like Jamie Oliver, don't they? He's always doing something. Every time you look, he's got something open. Jamie's cockle van, Jamie's kebab stall. Jamie's bag of chips. I feel like Jamie Oliver, like, he's really liked outside of Britain, but I don't know if he's popular in Britain. He feels like the UK's Bono. Like, the more good he does, people are like, "You smug prick, stop it! "Try less, mate!" I don't know, I've had feelings for Jamie for quite a long time. Really? Yeah. Romantic feelings? Yeah, all my sexual fantasies about Jamie Oliver don't really actually contain sex. What do they contain? Well, it's really, it's sort of... He's in the kitchen, he's cooked me a roast chicken. And then he, like, draws me a bath. And then I, when I come out of the bath, I come back into the kitchen, and he's just, like, washed up and tidied everything away. Oh, stop it! And that's it. Did you say sexual fantasy? Yeah, but that's the thing about being with Jamie, there's no pressure to put out. Yeah. That's what I like about him. I mean, in this fantasy, though, is the bath really hot? And then you look down, and there's carrots in it as well? You'd want to worry about, like, if I was his wife, I'd feel really sad. Jules? Yeah, Jules, Jules. Because, like, he'd come home and go... She don't like her. Yeah. Um, if I was his current first wife... ..Jules, and he was telling me, "Oh, you look gorgeous." "I just saw you on the BBC calling a trout gorgeous! "How am I supposed to feel?" He's got so many kids, in't he? It's like Daisy Boo, Poppy, Honey, River Rocket, he's running out of names! Next one he'll be like, "What should we call this, Spaghetti Pete? I don't know." My friend worked in Jamie's Italian in Dublin, and you're given a list of words that you're supposed to say. Them's proper posh chips. But, uh, he was selling a pizza to someone, and you were told to say, "Do you want me to pimp that for you?" Ohh. And it was like an old lady who was like, "Hire it out for sex work?" That is so Jamie. What do you think, do you like him, Ellie? I do quite like him. It's nice to have someone, cos I'm from Essex, someone else from Essex who isn't just famous for being, like, "Oh, you're mugging me off!" So that's quite nice. He's got a trade, and I like that about him. I'm from Essex as well. Are you? Yeah, if that helps at all. You're really ruining the image. There was literally like a gasp from the audience. Whereabouts are you from? Billericay. Shut the front door! No, where are you from? Brentwood! No! Oh, my God! That means we're going to have to fight. I was worried where that was going to go there, Richard. To be fair, the size of her, I reckon you could reach from there! DAVID: My, um... Wow! There's a good chance they're talking about fighting. Maybe they're talking about fighting. The closest I'll ever get to working at Subway, like that. Six inch or foot-long? APPLAUSE I can tell you that Jamie Oliver is not on our list. I don't know what Jamie Oliver eats himself, but he's clearly allergic to it. His tongue has swollen right up. Fingers on buzzers, other popular Brits? What do you think? I would say, Ed Mary Jehovah Sheeran. Oh, yeah. Is that... Surely? Yeah, in the taxi here, he came on three times in ten minutes. Yeah. I wonder if Ed Sheeran has a curry and goes to bed, sometimes when he wakes up in the morning, three of his farts during the night are in the top ten? No matter how rich and successful, like, and he's the biggest rock star in the world, he still looks like a virgin. He's probably had more sex this morning than I've had in my life, but... Him and the Pope are the only virgins to sell out Wembley, I think. He's always got a look on his face, like, "I don't know how this happened either." Aisling, David, you're Irish, yeah? Yeah, we are. Little treat for you, I think you're going to enjoy. This is Ed Sheeran's Galway Girl. Enjoy. # She played the fiddle in an Irish band # But she fell in love with an Englishman # Kissed her on the neck and then I took her by the hand # Said, "Baby, I just want to dance" # My pretty little Galway girl # Na-na na na na na na Galway girl... # This is actually, in Ireland, it's actually a tragic song, because it's like, she played the fiddle in an Irish band, ding ding, but she fell in love with an Englishman. It was massive in Ireland, though, that song. I think everyone Irish had the same feeling when Galway Girl came out. They were like, "Oh, my God, I hate this! "Oh, my God, I hate this! "I'm having this played at my wedding, I love this!" He's had a tattoo of that on his arm, but he's had it, it's spelled wrong, so girl is spelt "gril". But he's been saying to everyone that he meant it to be that way, which is like someone with one of those shit Chinese symbols, "I just love Kung pao chicken. "No, really, really!" I'm just sick of people telling me what their tattoos mean, you know? Like that, which is like, "Oh, that's in honour of my, uh, "Godfather who died three-year." Oh, so you got a skull with flames coming out of the eyes burning a playing card with tits on it? That is a solemn reminder of his life in IT sales, that's what that is. Rich, are you a fan of Ed Sheeran, do you like him? Honestly, that's the first time that I think I've consciously ever heard any of his music. I'm aware he's had all these hits, and I must have heard... I've rung up call centres, I've been in lifts, I must've heard his music sometime in the last five years. I'm the same way with Drake, I can't honestly tell you what any of his songs actually are. There was a point where Ed Sheeran and Drake and Stormzy had 50 of the top 100 singles at the same time. And I hadn't heard a single one. I don't think you're the demographic. Do you want to see the best thing you've ever seen in your life? No, no. I really don't, because, where do I go from here? Sorry... That's a great point. APPLAUSE It's a baby crying, and then they put on some Ed Sheeran. Just, just watch. CRYING MUSIC PLAYS: Shape Of You by Ed Sheeran MUSIC IS TURNED DOWN SILENCE CRYING MUSIC TURNS BACK UP APPLAUSE That's the demographic. The only thing I knew about Ed Sheeran before was, he famously had a Nando's black card. I've always been very envious of that. You know Nando's black cards? I do, yeah, I'm a... Have you got one? Yeah. So that, like, gets you free Nando's, plus five friends for life? Yeah. Yeah, he just needs the five friends and he'll be away. RICHARD: Wow. Well, you're off the list. Do you know my beef with, uh, Sheersy? So I did a gig in Dublin, there was very fancy equipment at the gig, so I'm there to the tech, "Why is the mic so fancy, "why's it so fancy tonight?" And the tech is like, "Get this, "Ed Sheeran is recording an extra for his DVD here tonight." And I'm so sorry to admit this, because I'm 41, but if you tell me this is Sheeran's gear, only one thing's going to... So I put it down my pants. And a load of people took photos of it and tweeted it to Ed Sheeran. And he's like, "That is charming behaviour, David." I immediately got 50,000 new Twitter followers who all thought that I was best friends with Sheersy. And for this weird two-week period, everything I said went viral. One of my tweets was: "Hey @Rathmines swimming pool, "is there a swim tonight at 9pm?" That got 1,200 likes and 400 retweets. Well, let's see if Ed Sheeran is up there. Yes, second! APPLAUSE Yes, it's Ed Sheeran! Ed Sheeran is an award-winning singer-songwriter, and national treasure. Is there anything he can't do? Yes. Open a fridge without getting sunburned. That's it for part one, see you after the break! Welcome back. We're still trying to guess the most popular Brits. OK, fingers on buzzers. BUZZER Rob? Is it Anthony Joshua? The boxing legend. You met him recently, didn't you? Yeah, I did a documentary about him. I met Klitschko, the person he's fighting, as well. They're such big man and it's so... I feel pathetic. LAUGHTER No, but, like, they're 6ft 6in, but their body... They're just so muscly. We're supposed to be both grown-ups. In fairness, he does do a lot of training. Have a look at this. HE GROANS APPLAUSE You know what? You know what, though? If you want to have teeth like Rob's, that's how hard you gotta work out. You know Nigeria turned him down to be part of their Olympics in 2008? I love the idea of him going back having, like, his Pretty Woman moment and going, "You guys work on commission? Big mistake. HUGE mistake." Jessica, have you ever watched a fight? I did watch the fight, yeah... What did you do? ..in the most conventional way. I was in the Walkabout in Newquay on a hen do. I've never really watched it before, but I got quite into it. I was quite scared and horny, if I'm honest. It's something very primal going on. Rob, you were... You made this documentary about the fight. Or just pre the fight. And you got to spar with a former middleweight champion. Oh... If only there were a clip of that(! ) So... Can I just say, he's an ex-world champion, and I'm not! I don't think you needed to say that. When you watch it, just remember Rob is not a professional boxer. Have a little look. Aw... Hands up! You need waking up! Oh, my goodness. Look at that power. 'The training had paid off.' Well done! Look at the speed of this man. 'Sort of...' Oh, mate! Are you all right, mate? Talk us through it again. Which one was a professional boxer(? ) I was in the blue on the floor. You were in the blue? Looking ripped. Yeah. I look like somebody's made a human out of mashed potato. JIMMY GUFFAWS APPLAUSE I would pay? 40 to see you fight Vladimir Klitschko. I'd love to see that. Yeah. He didn't like me when we met, either. Why? Ah, I kept on, I said to him, "If you win..." He went, "I will win." I went on, "If you win..." "I will win." Then I went, "Isn't there any part of your head telling you you might not? "How are you being that positive?" And he went, "Don't ask a fighter "a question he can't answer with words." And I tell you, I was that close. Because when I go, I go. JIMMY GUFFAWS The little mashed potato monster's on his case. OK, Paul, I can tell you Anthony Joshua is not on our list. THEY SIGH But Joshua won his big fight against Vladimir Klitschko at Wembley. But the weird thing was, no-one seemed to know what the fight was about. Normally a girl, innit? OK, all right. Fingers on buzzers, one more to go. OK, what do you think? David Beckham. David Beckham, what, you think he's very popular? Well, everyone loves him. He's getting more and more handsome by the day. It's like a disease he's got. You've been cured, I see! Yeah... You knock 'em up, I'll hit it... I mean... Aw. You're a very handsome man. No-one's denying it, they're just reassuring you. Let's have a look at David Beckham talking about his tattoos, in this enlightening clip from 2000. What is this, David? It's a new tattoo I'm thinking about having. I wanted a new tattoo for ages but I just couldn't... not think. I've known what I've wanted because I wanted something to do with Victoria, Victoria's name. And I think it'd look... We've both agreed it'd look a bit tacky if I had "Victoria", just in English, down there. So I've gone for Arabic. Why? Not for any reason, I just... It's quite arty... It's quite arty writing. I wanted something different. I tried it in Chinese writing the other night, it looked very good. Victoria was very impressed. I copied it off of a Chinese menu. So I probably had "fried rice" and "salt and pepper ribs" and "hot and sour soup" on my arm, instead of "Victoria". Aw. He's adorable. I don't understand. Is that real? Is that real? What do you mean, is that real? I thought that was a Comic Relief spoof video, or something. No, that's a documentary he made back in 2000. Oh, my God. Also, he doesn't call them tattoos, he calls them arm pictures. Oh, my God! And he also had two weird square bowls with floating eggs in them. Yeah, he had two hard-boiled eggs in front of him. Yeah. In the water. Why, David? You know those e-mails where he was asking for a effing knighthood, they were definitely doctored, because there's no way he could spell "knighthood", from watching that. It must be pretty hard, though, considering Sir Mix-A-Lot got one and he didn't. I don't think you should be angry about getting one, but I quite think I'd quite like to be a sir. I mean, I... Good luck with that. If anyone here is going to be a sir, it's going to be the king of daytime. I bet the Queen watches Pointless. Where's Bradley Walsh? Is Bradley Walsh here? APPLAUSE I think you'll find it's not daytime, it is access prime. That's what it is, very different. I'm sorry, access prime? Isn't that an account on Amazon? What time is that, Richard? It's when non-middle-class people are home, but middle-class people haven't got home from work yet. Ah! Middle-class people say, "People who don't work watch your show." You go, "It's on at 5.15pm and most people finish work at 5pm "and live quite near where they work. "Just cos you work in London "and it takes you 4? hours to get home to Northampton." Someone's a bit touchy about their early start time, aren't they? I can tell you, David Beckham is not one of our favourite Brits. Aw. According to reports, David Beckham's tax arrangements means he'll never get a knighthood, which is not even in the top five reasons I'm not getting one. OK, fingers on buzzers. BUZZER OK, go on, what do you think? Is it the Queen? Fan of the Queen, Aisling? Yeah, sure. It's about time Britain gave her break. She's 91, she's been doing the same job for 65 years. I feel like she should do what all old women are allowed to do - grow out your chin hair, tour the Canaries on a boat, let a gas man in with an invalid ID. Just... I think that's what she deserves now. I think she deserves the crown for having the most boring, awkward life anyone could ever have. Cos her life is basically just like an endless string of uncomfortable social situations, isn't it? It's just like, she's gotta go to hospital, she's gotta shake strangers' hands. She's got to talk to other people's kids. Have you ever had to talk to other people's kids? They are really boring. Do you know, I read a thing about Queen the other day, that when she does the State Opening of Parliament, she has to practise doing it, she isn't allowed to wear the proper crown because it has the Tower of London, so apparently she practises with a bag of flour on her head. I was like, surely she's got enough money to get a fake crown made, rather than just using things from the Ocado shop. Or Burger King. Or just use a corgi. Or she might be a massive cokehead and pretending it's flour. "See that?" "Oh, what's that? I've just been practising me flour head again." I think it's time for a bit of rebellion. She hasn't beheaded anyone once. She's a British monarch. They should give her that for her next birthday. She should just be allowed one kill. Who would you nominate? Oh, um... Jamie Oliver's wife. Jules? Not Jules! Poor Jules, sat at home watching this. Just got the kids off to sleep. Better go and check on Spaghetti Pete, see if he's all right. Better go and check on Spaghetti Pete! One of their kids is not called Spaghetti Pete, you made that up. In my head, I've gotta tell you, yeah, he's got a kid called Spaghetti Pete. Let's have a look and see if the Queen is up there. Yes, it's the Queen. According to Buckingham Palace, the Royal Family cost each of us 61p per person per year. But they have made some cutbacks - Diana, Margaret and the Queen Mum have all been laid off. GASPS AND GROANS Treason. Hur-gh-gh! At least Jules'll be all right. So those were the top three most popular Brits, but others include, Adele. Adele was offered a place at Liverpool University, but turned it down to pursue music. Sure, it's paid off in the short term, but what she got to fall back on? That 200 million isn't going to last for ever. Mo Farah. Mo was famously the face of Quorn. Weird, I thought the face of Quorn was... APPLAUSE And Simon Cowell. Simon Cowell left school just two O-levels and look at him now - still a fucking moron. So, at the end of that round Rob, Ellie and Richard have no points. Aisling, Jessica and David have three points. That's it for part two, see you after the break. Welcome back to 8 Out Of 10 Cats. Our next round is Pick Of The Polls. Rob, Ellie, Richard - what do you like the look of? Oh, we've got to go for our Ricky O, don't we? Ricky Osman. OK. Most people think they're smart enough to win a quiz show. True or false? False! LAUGHTER I'm afraid you're wrong. Aww. LAUGHTER This is the same studio we film Pointless. Where David is sitting there is roughly where I sit. Jessica is roughly where the column is, and if you look under your desk, that's Alexander Armstrong's secret coke stash. LAUGHTER Does this remind you of anything? HE MOCKS RICHARD LAUGHTER APPLAUSE That's a little harsh. I mean... listen, it looked like me. I don't think it sounded like me. LAUGHTER So, I've knocked the microphone off in trying to do an impersonation. Yeah, you know what? It's harder to be me than it looks, my friend. Sorry, do you think your impression was so good you dropped the mic? LAUGHTER Literally, our sound department has just gone, "Aww." LAUGHTER Should we treat ourselves to a little look at Pointless? Check this out. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many words ending in 'ZZ.' OK, so I have a word, um... But, again, it's sort of slangy, maybe slightly profane. So what do I do about that? What's your counsel? Hey listen, my counsel is... LAUGHTER My counsel, if it's going to score you 250 quid, fabulous. So, I'm going to go with jizz. LAUGHTER I see. LAUGHTER Let's see how many of our 100 people said jizz. It's a correct answer. And it gets you through. APPLAUSE And that scores you seven, which takes your total up to 11. Richard? Yeah, uh, jizz is of course, it's, uh... Everybody knows, it's the characteristic first impression you get of a plant or animal. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE My mother gets confused between, like, certain words with Zs in them, like pizzazz. And so one time she met one of my friends, and he's not very entertaining. She was like "I don't like him. He had no jizz in him, you know?" LAUGHTER I had to explain to her what jizz was and she was like, "Yeah, I don't think he had any of that, either." Got a bit of an issue with you, mate. I've done The Cube, I've done The Chase, never done Pointless. You did a comedian's special, I wasn't invited on. Yeah, it was a comedian special. Oh. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE OK, "Most people think they're smart enough to win a quiz show." David, what do you think? There is the spectrum of quiz shows which has, we'll say Catchphrase, Family Fortunes at one end, and then say Only Connect, University Challenge at the other end. At one end, if you don't answer all of them correct, you can't sleep that night, and at the other end if you get one of them right in your life, you retire, so... LAUGHTER The irony is... The irony is the easier they are, the more money you earn. Catchphrase is slightly easier to win than Only Connect, but you can win like 30 grand on Catchphrase, and Only Connect you get like a mug, maybe? LAUGHTER What's Mr Chips doing? That's it, right? Rather than what's the fucking square root of what Mr Chips is doing? LAUGHTER APPLAUSE Jessica, do you think you'd be any good on a quiz? I don't even... I can't even get like basic questions right. I sort of panic under pressure like, you know when you're in the opticians? OK, like, "Is it better WITH, or better WITHOUT?" And I'm like, "I don't know!" LAUGHTER I can't answer, like, basic questions, so, no, too much pressure for me. I think people THINK that they can win on a quiz show in the same way people always think they can parallel park, and they're like, "Yeah I can do this." And then they have a go and then ten minutes and, like, a dead old person later, they're like "A bit harder than it looks!" LAUGHTER What I got from that is you can't parallel park. LAUGHTER For shit, mate. For shit. I can't, either. This is so bad. It's so hard! I had to pick my dad up from the hospital, he was getting his cataracts done, right, and I couldn't parallel park it, and in the end, he got out and did it with no eyes. LAUGHTER So, most people think they're smart enough to win a quiz show. True or false? What are you going to say? False, I think. Most people are quite... Most people watch shows that are slightly too clever for them. BOTH: False. You're going false. What are you guys going to go for? I... I think true because I think most people are watching at home going "Yeah, cos I was actually going to say that, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. True. You think true. OK, well I can tell you the answer is true. APPLAUSE 56% of people think they're smart enough to win a quiz show. APPLAUSE My least favourite quiz show is definitely Countdown. God, imagine having to play THAT day after day. LAUGHTER So, at the end of that round, it's no points for Rob's team and four points for Aisling's team. CHEERING And The Winner Is, is the name of our final round. Here's your question. People who can do, do you know poached eggs? We can all poach an egg using the little boat, but using the swirling technique... Aw, impossible! Yeah, I try and it always ends up looking like a testicle with a ghost. LAUGHTER I made breakfast! When I was growing up, we used to be jealous of those rich kids that had, do you know like the motorized little BMW car things that they'd go round the garden in? Oh, yeah. And now I can afford one, I can't fit in them. LAUGHTER You could get one for your own child. Nah, cos then I'd think, "spoilt brat". LAUGHTER Ellie, what do you get jealous of? I think I get quite jealous, like, if I hear my husband on the phone to another woman and just hear her being like, "Press 4 for customer service". LAUGHTER Whore! LAUGHTER What do you guys get jealous of? I get career jealous. Mm. Career jealousy. Yeah, I get jealous of North Korea. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE Is that the nice one? I think so. You get jealous of people's careers? Yeah. I found that one of the highest-paid actresses in England is the Witch of Wookey Hole. The kids' show? No, she's actually in Wookey Hole, which is a cave, and she just pops out at people and she's just a witch. LAUGHTER And that's a proper job that she's on, like, 40 grand a year for that. Sorry, you're jealous of a witch that lives in a cave? LAUGHTER I mean all right, I think we can probably get you that. The bar's pretty low, Jimmy. David, do you ever do anything... Have you ever made anyone very jealous? Ugh. Well, my friend Mike and I, he lives near a cafe where I drink very strong coffee, and I go to his house and do shits sometimes. And... LAUGHTER I, uh... And I did one recently that was so big, when I... What was the question again? The question was about... LAUGHTER I mean... I tell you who misheard, David O'Doherty. LAUGHTER And he was like, "Oh, that's a sweet job "you've done there," you know? LAUGHTER OK, top thing people get jealous about. People that can spell definitely. LAUGHTER Ohh... I've got D-E-F - after that, I've got nothing left in the locker. LAUGHTER That's why defo was invented. Defo. LAUGHTER New girlfriends or new boyfriends. Yeah, that's a good answer, yeah. It's that sort of area. Flirting, flirting. Flirting with... Yeah. Flirting is exactly it. Ahh. APPLAUSE Yes, the top thing people get jealous about is their partner flirting. I'm a bit of a flirt. Just last night, I had a girl give me a look that left me in no doubt as to what she wanted. She wanted me to fuck off. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE BUZZER Well, that sound tells me it's the end of the round and the end of the show, which means the final scores are, Rob, Ellie, and Richard have no points, Aisling, Jessica, and David have five points! That means we're the winners! It's Pointless. LAUGHTER Which means, because this is the studio where they record Pointless, that you are the winners. Hey! CHEERING Thanks to all our panellists, our wonderful studio audience and all of you for watching at home. That's it from us, goodnight! CHEERING ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ LEONARDO DICAPRIO: My first visual memories are of this framed poster above my crib. I would stare at it every night before I went to bed. My father was an underground comic distributor. He's always been this sort of Zelig of the counterculture as I like to call him. Having painted in Warhol's studio, being roomies with Lou Reed, he knew R. Crumb and all these great artists of his generation. I mean, I was brought up on all kinds of wacky visuals as a kid. So I would stare at this painting over and over: The Garden of Earthly Delights by Hieronymus Bosch. It was painted around 1500. And if you look at these panels long enough, they start to tell a story. In the first panel you have Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Birds flying off into the distance, elephants and giraffe and a lot of religious iconography. The second panel is where it starts to become more interesting. The deadly sins start to infuse their way into the painting. There's overpopulation, there's debauchery and excess. And the last panel, which is the most nightmarish one, especially from a young child's perspective, is this twisted, decayed, burnt landscape. A paradise that has been degraded and destroyed. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ NEWS MEDIA: Man may be unwittingly changing the world's climate through the waste products of its civilization... The burning of coal, oil and wood is releasing carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. The greenhouse effect has been detected and it is changing our climate now. Guess where the temperature goes? It goes up. Climate change is already in our backyards. It's official. 2012 was the hottest year in the 2013 ... 2014 ... 2015 ... warmest year around the globe ... warmest year on record. It is these activities that drove mankind out of the Garden of Eden. DICAPRIO: Hi, how are you? KI‐MOON: Ah, Mr. DiCaprio. DICAPRIO: Pleasure, pleasure. KI‐MOON: Great to, great pleasure to see you. Here. We can move this. This can be adjusted. DICAPRIO: Oh wow, this is for height control. KI‐MOON: Yeah. Like this, like this. DICAPRIO: For shorter leaders and taller leaders. What specific message do you think is the most important? KI‐MOON: Climate change is coming much, much faster. We have seen such, uh, extraordinary extreme weather patterns. If you consider this vastness of this universe, this Planet Earth is just a small boat. If this boat is sinking, then I think we will have to all sink together. I know that he has been a very committed and effective environmentalist and that is why I really count on your leadership and vision. ANNOUNCER: Please welcome newly appointed United Nations Messenger of Peace, Mr. Leonardo DiCaprio. [APPLAUSE] DICAPRIO: Thank you Mr. Secretary General, Your Excellencies... I feel incredibly honored that they chose me to be the United Nations Messenger of Peace on climate change. I stand before you, not as an expert, I want to do everything I can to learn more about this issue. See for myself exactly what's going on and what can be done. But it all kinda seems beyond our control. As an actor, I pretend for a living. I play fictitious characters often solving fictitious problems. I believe that mankind has looked at climate change in that same way. We keep getting inundated with catastrophic news about the environment every single day, and the problem seems to be getting worse and worse and worse. Try to have a conversation with anyone about climate change, people just tune out. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ If the U. N. really knew how I feel, how pessimistic I am about our future, I mean, to be honest, they may have picked the wrong guy. NEWSCASTER: Hundreds of thousands took to the streets of New York today demonstrating for action on climate change. NEWSCASTER: Secretary General, Ban Ki‐Moon called Leo a credible voice in the environmental movement, which is like calling Jeffrey Dahmer a credible voice for stew. NEWSCASTER: Leonardo DiCaprio has just naively bought into the entire global warming hoax. NEWSCASTER: Who better to educate world leaders on made up climate change in a crisis that doesn't exist than an actor from Hollywood with zero years of scientific training? ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ DICAPRIO: Hi, how are you? WOMAN: I'm very good. DICAPRIO: How are you doing, it's a pleasure. WOMAN: You too. ALEJANDRO: Hey! [BACKGROUND VOICE] DICAPRIO: Nice to see you, buddy. ALFONSO CUARON: Good to see you. So I just started this new film, it's set in the Western Frontier of the United States in the early 1800s. It's basically the dawn of the Industrial Revolution. It has a lot to do with men who are pillaging the natural world, wiping species out, and basically destroying cultures in the process. Those are like buffalo skulls. Alejandro! Crazy, are these fur‐trappers? Are these people selling the skulls? ALEJANDRO: No, these are people selling the skulls, yeah. DICAPRIO: What the [BLEEP] is this? ALEJANDRO: Isn't that embarrassing? DICAPRIO: Man, that's crazy. ALEJANDRO: And the fact that they never even reflected on it, that there's an ending to these animals, and we cannot just, it's insane. DICAPRIO: If you can put that in the movie that would be unbelievable. How about this, I dare you! ALEJANDRO: Ah, okay. ... get to the boat. Come on son. [GUNSHOTS] I didn't grow up around nature at all, I grew up near downtown Los Angeles. And my escape every weekend was the Natural History Museum. And from a very young age, I became fascinated with species that had become extinct. All these different animals, from the dodo to the passenger pigeon, which was the most plentiful bird on earth, to the Tasmanian tiger, also known as the thilacene to the great auk, the quagga, the moa. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ I remember the anger that I felt, reading all these stories about how explorers and settlers would just wipe out an entire species, and in the process, decimate the ecosystem forever. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ The difference now is we're knowingly doing this; it's just on a much larger scale. BRUNE: If we're gonna fight climate change effectively, we have to start by acknowledging that most of our economy is based on fossil fuels. Fossil fuels are coal, oil, and natural gas. Oil powers most of the transportation sector, coal and natural gas power most of the electricity. Now, in the first couple decades of the twenty‐first century, in order to sustain our dependence on fossil fuels, we're going to very risky, very extreme new sources. [EXPLOSIONS] You see this in things like mountain top removal for coal, fracking for natural gas, offshore drilling for oil, and the tar sands, which is the most devastating form of producing fossil fuels. They take away massive forests, the water in the streams and rivers is poisoned. It has severe impacts on the wildlife, on native communities, and it requires a huge amount of energy simply to get it to our fuel tanks. There is no such thing as clean fossil fuel. PILOT: Headsets are hung up at the back, but the volume control's right above the microphone so... DICAPRIO: The truth is, the more I've learned about this issue and everything that contributes to the problem, the more I realize how much I don't know. How much I don't know about this issue. The first time I ever heard the term global warming, which was what it was called back then, I was in my early twenties. I had the opportunity to sit down one on one with then Vice President, Al Gore in the White House. And he drew a picture of our planet on a chalkboard, and then he drew the atmosphere around it, and he said, this is the most important issue of our time. I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. He said all our modes of transportation, boats, trains, planes, cars, the way we produce our food, the way we build our cities, almost everything we do releases carbon dioxide, CO2, and that leads to climate change. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ The polar ice caps will melt, the seas will start to rise, there will be more dangerous weather patterns, floods, droughts, wildfires. It sounded like some nightmarish science fiction film. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ Except everything he said is real and it's happening right now. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ DICAPRIO: Wow. Wow. Beautiful. I just want to know how far we've gone, how much damage we've done, and if there's anything we can do to stop it. MAN: You all set, mate? DICAPRIO: So it's the 4th of July, and we're here in the middle of the Arctic. DR. SALA: Right now we are standing on the ocean, we are basically walking on water. This is the northern tip of Baffin Island, one of the hundreds of islands in the High Canadian Arctic. We are way above the Arctic Circle, and if you put your hand in the water, you would not be able to stand it for more than 5 minutes, except you who are a badass. DICAPRIO: You hunt and fish here, right? AWA: Yeah. DICAPRIO: What do you, what do you fish and what do you hunt? AWA: In my territory I hunt fish, seal, narwhal, and polar bear. DICAPRIO: Is this polar bear? AWA: Yup. DICAPRIO: Oh, well there you go! And the ice here, since you've been around has it been decreasing? AWA: We used to have a solid ice, blue. Not light blue like this, blue. Hard, ice. Now we usually have a, kind of ice cream type of ice. It's ice but it's, when it starts to melt, it melts pretty fast. Much faster than before. DR. SALA: 2040, you will be able to sail over the North Pole. There's going to be no sea ice left in the Arctic Ocean in the summer. We are burning so many fossil fuels that the ice is melting. The Arctic is like the air conditioning for the Northern Hemisphere. If it goes away, that's going to change currents, that's going to change weather patterns, that's going to make floods and droughts more catastrophic. It's the most dramatic transformation of a large environment ever. Look at this. DICAPRIO: They're right here! DR. SALA: There are about 10,000 to 12,000 narwhals in this region. The numbers are stable here, in other regions are declining. DICAPRIO: Wow. That's awesome. DR. SALA: Yeah, they are waiting for the ice to open up, to swim in, so they can catch the flounder. DICAPRIO: I can't believe what they sound like, it's amazing. They're like purring. DR. SALA: You know, I don't want to be in a planet without these animals. ANNOUNCER: He's the chairman of Earth Day 2000, Leonardo DiCaprio. DICAPRIO: When I was 25 years old, I remember being asked to participate in this huge event in Washington for Earth Day. Temperatures are rising, coral reefs are dying, and not since a meteor hit the earth 65 million years ago, have so many species of plant and animals become extinct in such a short time. I even got a chance to interview the President of the United States. Why do you think this issue is so constantly overlooked? BILL CLINTON: I think it's because it takes a long time for the climate to change in a way that people feel it, and because, uh, it seems sort of abstract now. DICAPRIO: At the time, it was this huge push to get the word out on global warming. Now a couple degrees' difference in today's temperatures may not seem like an emergency. Back then everyone was focused on small, individual actions. We all have to, you know, bring environmentalism to the American consciousness. And it boiled down to simple solutions like changing your light bulb. It seemed like a positive thing at the time, you know. Changing your lightbulb. But it's pretty clear that we're way beyond that point now; things have taken a massive turn for the worst. BOX: We keep finding things that aren't in the climate models that are used to project the future. So that, that tells me that the projections for the future are, are really conservative. If climate stays at this temperature that it's been in the last decade, Greenland is, is going away. Don't walk into the crevasse. [Rapids]. DICAPRIO: Oh my God! BOX: Don't get too close to the edge. DICAPRIO: Look at how violent that is. These rapids are going so incredibly fast. BOX: This meltwater is making its way to the sea. If that's not balanced by snowfall then the ice sheet gets smaller and sea level rises. This is actually our proper climate station. DICAPRIO: This is a climate station? I was imagining a massive igloo with all kinds of scientists doing experiments. It really does look like broken down pool equipment. How, what does this connect to? BOX: Well, this is all melted up now, this was a hose that went down 30 feet, and now it's melted out. DICAPRIO: Wait a minute, so this, that's lying here used to be straight down under ice? BOX: Yeah, so we made. DICAPRIO: So that's the amount of ice that has melted. BOX: Yeah. This is 5 years of melt. DICAPRIO: So this entire length is the thickness of ice that has melted throughout all of lower Greenland in the past 5 years. BOX: Right. That's hundreds of cubic kilometers of ice that's now no longer stored on land. It's gone into the sea over here. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ NEWSCASTER: Miami, New Orleans, Boston and Long Beach, California may be doomed to fall victim to ever‐rising sea levels. NEWSCASTER: South Florida as we know it could be washed away by risings seas. DICAPRIO: When you look at places that are the most susceptible to sea level rise, especially in the United States, Florida is the key one. And a lot of the, your campaign was based on um, giving people an understanding of what's at risk here. LEVINE: We don't have the liberty or the time to debate climate change. If you don't believe in it, I always say bring your unconverted to us and we'll make sure you agree that there is a major problem. We have this thing called sunny day flooding. Picture a beautiful sunny day, all of a sudden you see water coming up on the street. As the sea level rises, the water's coming up, backflowing into our streets through our drains. If the city is underwater, there's no future. DICAPRIO: How do you combat that? Exactly what's going on as far as prevention is concerned? LEVINE: We started putting in pumps, take a look at this. DICAPRIO: Oh, this is the pump! LEVINE: Yup! We're in the process of building all across the city. This street right here used to be fully underwater. During high tide you may need a canoe. And now what we did was we raised this road and you can see the difference, see how that area there kind of goes, slopes down a little bit. DICAPRIO: So the main investment is in these systems right here, raising the roads and the electric pumps. LEVINE: Yeah, this is a 400‐million‐dollar project. City wide. And of course we're paying for it by our city revenues. I had to raise tax revenue, which you can imagine is not a very popular thing to do as a politician. DICAPRIO: And this construction is it going to make a major difference. LEVINE: Major difference. DICAPRIO: And buy you a significant amount of time. LEVINE: Absolutely I would think about 40, 50 years. DICAPRIO: That's it? LEVINE: Yes. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ Now one of the things I always say when people ask me this, Mayor what about after 50 years, what's going to happen? Well what we have to do is come up with solutions, and unfortunately we have a governor and we have a cabinet that doesn't believe that this is a major issue. REPORTERS: Officials in Florida were banned from using the words climate change. This policy began in 2011 after Rick Scott came into office. LEVINE: No one really wants to talk about climate change, especially our senator from Florida, Marco Rubio, who doesn't believe that we have climate change and is not interested in assisting our state. I would hope that he would have gone out and grabbed us federal funds over the last three years to help make our cities viable. RUBIO: I do not believe that human activity is causing these dramatic changes to our climate the way these scientists are portraying it. DICAPRIO: Why do you think there is such opposition about the science? LEVINE: I think it's politics, I think it so has to do with lobbying and industry and I always say one thing, Leo, I said uh, the ocean is not Republican and it's not Democrat, all it knows how to do is rise. CRUZ: Satellite data show, for the last seventeen years, there has been no significant recorded warming. TRUMP: It's supposed to be 70 degrees today, it's freezing here! Speaking of global warming where is, we need some global warming! It's freezing. DR. MANN: There's about as robust a consensus about human‐caused climate change as there is for any matter in science. Be it the theory of gravity. 97 percent of climate scientists agree, the globe is warming, our climate is changing, it's due to fossil fuel burning and other human activities. Unfortunately we are fighting this massive disinformation campaign to confuse the public. NEWS CLIP: You look at the satellite data we actually have had no significant warming since 1998 actually no warming. We have been cooling in recent years. HOST: If you actually believe that global warming is the biggest problem we face, you're the dumbest son of a bitch on the planet. DICAPRIO: So yeah, maybe you could just talk a little bit about your background, the studies that you've done. DR. MANN: I was the classic science and math geek in high school. Studied physics in graduate school and a decade and half ago my co‐authors and I started to look into climate change in the more distant past. We published a curve where there's this long‐term cooling trend and then all of a sudden this abrupt warming that has no precedent as far back as you can go and it got named the hockey stick because it looks like the blade of a hockey stick. And once we had published that graph I had set myself up for a completely different life. DICAPRIO: And why is that? What did they do specifically to? DR. MANN: I was vilified on the editorial pages of the Wall Street Journal, on Fox News. That I was a fraud. NEWS REPORT: Other German Scientists have called it statistical rubbish. He's been called a statistical charlatan. DR. MANN: I was being attacked by congressmen. CONGRESSMAN: They threw spaghetti up on the wall and wherever it stuck is what they put in the chart. DR. MANN: I had death threats that were actionable enough that the FBI at one point had to come to my office to investigate an envelope that had been sent to me that had a white powder. I've had threats made against my family. These folks know they don't have to win the legitimate scientific debate. They just need to divide the public, and all of that hatred and fear is in fact organized and funded by a few players. Fossil fuel interests, folks like the Koch brothers finance a very large echo chamber of climate change denialism. NEWS REPORT: The reality is a lot of climatologists believe that the science is not settled. NEWS REPORT: Global warming is illusory were actually going through a period of global cooling. NEWS REPORT: It's easier to believe in a benevolent god the baby Jesus than it is in some kind of theory about global warming. DR. MANN: Websites and news outlets and think tanks. They find people with fairly impressive credentials who are willing to sell those credentials to fossil fuel interests. NEWS REPORTER: Dr. Fred Singer, President of the science and environmental policy project. DR. SINGER: The weather balloons around the world show no warming of the atmosphere in the last 25 years. DR. MANN: You have all of these organizations with lofty sounding names like Americans for Prosperity or The Heartland Institute. These are front groups that are funded by corporate interests. Americans for Prosperity is really a front group for the Koch brothers. PHILIPS: That's an organization founded by David and Charles Koch and good morning to you Tim. ‐Good to be here, Bill. ‐Welcome here, what are you going to get for your money? We hope to see policies change. DR. MANN: Koch Industries is one of the largest privately held fossil fuel interests in the world. And they are doing everything they can to protect that wealth. NEWS REPORT: Would you give up all that industrialization, would you give up all the productivity that it's brought us, all the lives that it has saved over the last 100 years, so that the temperature wouldn't rise half a percent or a milli percent? DR. MANN: They've lobbied Congress. INHOFE: We keep hearing 2014 has been the warmest year on record, oh here Mr. President catch this. Mhmm. DR. MANN: James Inhofe is probably the most prominent congressional climate change denier. INHOFE: Global warming is the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people. DR. MANN: He's the chair of the Senate Environment Committee. INHOFE: There are some people who are so arrogant to think that they are so powerful that they can change a climate. Man can't change climate. DR. MANN: It might not be surprising to learn that James Inhofe is one of the largest recipients of fossil fuel money in the U. S. Senate. Fossil Fuel interests have bought our House of Representatives and Senate Environment Committee. We can't get a climate bill passed through our Congress because it's controlled by fossil fuel funded climate change deniers who are blocking any bills that would attempt to deal with this problem. DICAPRIO: How they're able to discredit scientists who have devoted their life to this issue is kind of mind boggling to me. DR. MANN: It sometimes makes me want to take a drink right. DICAPRIO: I'm sure. If I was a scientist I would be absolutely pissed every single day of my life. DR. MANN: These people are, you know, engaged in an effort to lead us astray in the name of short term, you know, fossil fuel profits so that we end up leaving behind a degraded planet. What could be more immoral than that? BELL LAB: Even now, man may be unwittingly changing the world's climate through the waste products of this civilization. Due to our release through factories and automobiles every year of more than 6 billion tons of carbon dioxide. Our atmosphere seems to be getting warmer. This is bad? Well it's been calculated a few degrees rise in the earth's temperature would melt the polar ice caps. DICAPRIO: Fact is, we've known about this problem for decades and decades, for over half a century. BELL LAB: Every day I send you a thousand times more power than you use in a year. Anybody working on getting power direct from old glow hard here? Oh yes but not nearly enough, roll 6b! The solar battery. DICAPRIO: Imagine the world right now, if we had taken the science of climate change seriously back then. BELL LAB: But our engineers will have to build efficient generators that spread out over acres, even square miles. To compete with the cheap coal and oil still available to us. DICAPRIO: Since then, our population has increased by almost 5 billion people and counting. And China has recently surpassed the United States as the world's number one polluter. The problem has become even more difficult to solve. [practicing Mandarin]. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ DICAPRIO: Oh now we're on the opposite side of the street again. Ok. Now we're in a bike lane. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ AFP TV: Air‐pocalypse, schools have been shut down, the toxicity has reached that worst level. [Demonstrators yelling]. DICAPRIO: It's absolutely brilliant, you don't allow these companies to operate in the dark. DICAPRIO: Chinese media talks about climate change on a regular basis. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ DICAPRIO: Is there a giant push towards solar and wind here, is that the next step? LIN: China's got some of the biggest wind and solar companies in the world now. Even though China has some of the largest challenges, like huge population, China's gonna prioritize wind and solar rather than coal. If China can do it, then I think the rest of the world can. DICAPRIO: China is still heavily relying on fossil fuels, but they seem to be transitioning to renewables much faster than anyone anticipated. The question is, can less developed countries with rapidly growing populations make the same transition? NEWS REPORTER: India is the world's third largest emitter yet the country is struggling with massive power shortages and rolling blackouts. India has consistently said that its biggest priority is development and bringing people out of poverty. NARAIN: We care about climate change. But the fact is we are a country where energy access is as much a challenge as climate change. We need to make sure that every Indian has access to energy. DICAPRIO: From what I understood there are 300 million people without power, without light here in India. NARAIN: Yes, yes. DICAPRIO: That's equivalent to the entire population here of the United States. [DIALOGUE IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]. NARAIN: Today in villages, Indian villages you will find people take cow dung and they make what is known, called cow dung cakes or uples in Hindi, and they burn those. And that's their only source of cooking energy. So they will make food now over this. [DIALOGUE IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]. NARAIN: Coal is cheap whether you and I like it or not, coal is cheap. You have to think about this from this point of view. If you created the problem in the past, we will create it in the future. We have 700 million households who cook using biomass today, 700 million households. If those households move to coal you have that much more use of fossil fuels, then the entire world is fried. If anyone gives you this very cute stuff and tells you, Oh the world's poor should move to solar, and, Why do they have to make the mistakes that we have made? I hear this all the time from American engineers. And I'm like, wow! You know, I mean, if it was that easy I would have really liked the U. S. to move towards solar, but you haven't. Let's put our money where our mouth is. DICAPRIO: We have to practice what we preach. Absolutely. NARAIN: I am sorry to say this, I know you're an American, and please don't take this amiss, but your consumption is going to really put a hole in the planet. And I think that's the conversation we need to have. I'll show you charts from this perspective, electricity consumed by one American at home is equivalent to 1.5 citizens of France, 2.2 citizens of Japan, and 10 citizens of China, 34 of India, 61 of Nigeria. Why? Because you're building bigger, you're building more and using much more than before. The fact is that we need to put the issue of lifestyle and consumption at the center of climate negotiations. DICAPRIO: Look I, there is no way I don't agree with you, how can you argue that? You're absolutely correct and I think yes, it's a very difficult argument to present to Americans that we need to change our lifestyle and I would also argue that it's probably not going to happen. So we are dependent, if we want to solve the climate crisis, on the fact that hopefully renewables like solar and wind will become cheaper and cheaper and cheaper the more money we funnel into them, the more we invest into them and ultimately it will solve that problem. But I, you're shaking your head obviously. NARAIN: I'm shaking my head Indian style which means no. DICAPRIO: Right. NARAIN: Who will invest, Leo? Let's be real about this, who will invest and how will you invest in it? We are doing more investment in solar today, China is doing much more investment in solar today than the U. S. is. What is the U. S. doing which the rest of the world can learn from? You're a fossil‐addicted country, but if you are seriously disengaging it's something for us to learn from. And it will be leadership that we can all hold up to our government and say listen if the U. S. can do it and the U. S. is doing it, in spite of all their pressures, we can do it as well. The sad part of it is, it's just not happening. And people like me, we are rich enough to withstand the first hit of climate change but it's the poor of India, it's the poor of Africa, it's the poor of Bangladesh, who are impacted today by what I believe is the first signs of climate change. [DIALOGUE IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]. NARAIN: So February and March, which is when the crops are standing, they got half the year's rainfall in just five hours. DICAPRIO: Half the year's rainfall in five hours? So these crops are all destroyed? NARAIN: Yeah destroyed. Your back is breaking doing this and then you get one unseasonal rainfall, it's absolutely like the last straw on the camel's back. And we need countries to believe that climate change is real and urgent. It's not a figment of their imagination. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ DICAPRIO: The U. S. has been the biggest emitter of greenhouse gases in history, and there's no doubt that we've all benefited from fossil fuels. I know I have. My footprint is probably a lot bigger than most people's, and there are times when I question, what is the right thing to do? What actions should we be taking? There are over a billion people out there without electricity, and they want lights, they want heat, they want the lifestyle that we've had in the United States for the last hundred years. If we're gonna solve this problem, we all have a responsibility to set an example, and more than that, help the developing world transition before it's too late. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ TONG: We are seeing events that we did not see in the past. It's not about when the entire islands are underwater. It's well before then is going to be the crisis. And it's already happening. What we are facing at the moment is severe flooding. It's gone into the fresh water ponds and that's how people get their drinking water. DICAPRIO: Have you spoken with people in the scientific community that have given you some sort of a time frame? TONG: Given the scenarios and the projections put forward by the science, our islands will be underwater, and so the question is, what do we do about it? At the moment, internally, we are relocating our communities from certain parts of the island to where the water has not come up. But our long‐term strategy is something that I've been discussing internationally, because we, we have to come to accept the reality that we may not be able to accommodate all of our people. We have adopted a policy of migration with dignity. We bought a piece of land in Fiji, so that if our people choose to migrate today, they can do it. DICAPRIO: Hmm. TONG: They must do it as a matter of choice. I've got grandchildren. I've got 12 grandchildren. I'd like to be able to, to go away knowing that they will continue to have a home. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ REMENGESAU: Islands in the Pacific, we're a paradise in peril. Throughout Palau we have sea level rise coming into the farmlands, coming into the homes. DICAPRIO: This is unbelievable. When was this an intact island with homes on it? How long ago? REMENGESAU: 12 years ago, when you came, there were people living here. So, within the 12‐year period this is the result. It's just a small picture of one place. The small island nations who contribute the least to the causes of climate change, are actually going to feel the worst uh, impacts. The worst scenarios because of global warming. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ JACKSON: What we've done to the rest of the world is just, it's criminal. It's not just sea level rise. We've taken these coastal ecosystems that used to be dominated by incredibly abundant fish, and we've knocked the whole system down reversing half a billion years of evolution. One billion people depend on fisheries from coral reefs for virtually all of their protein. One billion people. Here we are, we're on what was a pretty healthy coral reef. What's missing? You see almost nothing swimming around. DICAPRIO: Is this a dying coral reef? JACKSON: I think this reef has had it. We're pushing the system really hard and that is a serious enemy to the health of corals and their ability to grow. DICAPRIO: Mhm. JACKSON: It's causing loss of people's livelihoods. It's causing starvation. DICAPRIO: This is happening all over. JACKSON: Oh yeah, absolutely. I think reefs as we know them are gonna virtually disappear. The oceans are like this big buffer because they absorb carbon dioxide. They take up about a third of the CO2 that we dump into the atmosphere. So because of that, they are a stabilizing force in climate. The problem is the ocean can't do its job fast enough with this absurd rate of carbon dioxide emissions. You know, life isn't gonna disappear in the ocean. There will always be life in the ocean, but it's not gonna be necessarily the kind of life we want. We could go back to 3 billion years ago and have just a whole lot of slime. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ ALLEN: We're taking away the ecosystems that normally help us to restabilize the climate. Like oceans, rainforests absorb carbon from our atmosphere. Decades and decades of the forests breathing in the carbon, storing it in the trunks and the leaves and the organic matter. Those carbon emissions are being held safe for us. Until we clear them, and light them on fire. It acts like a carbon bomb and releases massive carbon emissions back into the atmosphere. DICAPRIO: Wow, this haze is intense isn't it? DICAPRIO: You can't see anything here! This is scary. This isn't natural? This is all fire? FARHAN: This is not natural at all. DICAPRIO: I've never seen anything like this. ALLEN: There are three big tropical rainforest areas left in the world. The Amazon in South America, the Congo Basin in Africa, and the South East Asian rainforest which spans Indonesia. In Indonesia, we're seeing fires being intentionally set in order to create palm oil plantations, which grow the cheapest vegetable oil in the world. It's in cooking oils, in processed foods, in your cosmetics, in your detergents. This really cheap commodity is making companies tremendous profits. DICAPRIO: Just as far as you can see. Rows of palm oil. They have destroyed so much of this forest, it's unbelievable. DICAPRIO: What a beauty! DICAPRIO: I can't even comprehend what these forests must have looked like. Forests where rhino and elephant and orangutan would be populated into the thousands. DR. SINGLETON: These guys are a byproduct of the forest lost because of the palm oil industry. You know, they're effectively refugees from forests that no longer exist. DICAPRIO: Wow, that's a good grip. Yeah! Strong. Hey, I'm gonna get you some fruit, don't be scared. The carrot or the fruit? Definitely the fruit, that's what you guys are after, huh? There you go. Do you like carrots? Or, not so much? Oh my God. These are amazing. Aw. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ DR. SINGLETON: I always remind people when they go, Aw, the poor thing, you know, these are the lucky survivors. DICAPRIO: What happens to all the other orangutan? DR. SINGLETON: You know, all the others are dead. And the reason people are chopping down the forest to plant palm oil plantations is because people keep buying the stuff. People have to realize that what they do in their supermarket, the decisions they make in their daily lives, are affecting places like the Leuser ecosystem. DICAPRIO: If palm oil is in almost everything we buy, how are consumers supposed to avoid this? If these products have such a devastating impact, why aren't governments setting restrictions to prevent these big corporations from destroying the planet just so they can save money? ESHEL: If you want something that you can do without appealing to any higher authorities, such as government or whatever, I can't think of an easier, um, out, than changing your diet. You can start tonight. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ DICAPRIO: So you're a scientist who studies the effects of agriculture on climate, but you grew up raising cattle and taking them to slaughter, right? ESHEL: I'm a scientist, that's the most important thing. So, of all the reasons for tropical deforestation, the foremost is beef. And beef is one of the most inefficient uses of resources on the planet. In the U. S., 47 percent of land is used for food production, and of that, the lion's share is just to grow feed for cattle. The things that we actually eat, like fruit, vegetable, nuts, it's a percent. Most importantly, cows produce methane, and methane is a powerful greenhouse gas. The way cows produce methane is they eat as much as they can, and when they are chewing, a whole bunch of methane is burped through the mouth uh, into the atmosphere. The atmosphere has much more CO2 in it. But Methane is far more impactful. Every molecule of methane is equivalent to 23 molecules of CO2. And of the methane in the atmosphere, nearly all of it is due to livestock. DICAPRIO: In comparison to emissions from other sources, what kind of percentage are we talking about come from the consumption of beef? ESHEL: About 10, 12 percent of the total U. S. emissions is due to beef. It's staggering. But it's very easy to envision a dietary shift, even as minor as switching, let's say, from beef to an alternative. Let's say even chicken. The chicken will require 20 percent of the land, and 10 percent of the greenhouse gas emissions. And if you compare, rice, or potato, or wheat, beef requires 50 times as much land. DICAPRIO: So even cutting the amount of beef that you eat in half, or by a quarter, could make a significant difference. ESHEL: It, very significant. DICAPRIO: Do you, do you at all think that that's even a possibility considering that beef is so a part of our culture? ESHEL: Maybe not everybody's ready to eat tofu, you know, 24/7. I get that. But even if you just have to have some flesh between your teeth, if you switch to chicken, you will have eliminated 80 percent of you what you emit, depending on where you are coming from. Let's face it, it's fairly easy to switch your diet from one choice to another. [Cow moos]. [Revenant set chatter]. DICAPRIO: While working on the Revenant, which is about man's struggle with the elements, we shot on location in the Canadian snow belt. The irony was we were hit in with record temperatures that completely melted our set. [Revenant set chatter]. In order to finish making the movie, we had to relocate halfway around the world just to find snow. ALEJANDRO: The fact that we have to come, 200 people in the middle of the summer, to the winter in Southern Ushuaia, 9000 miles from where we're supposed to be shooting this three months ago, chasing ice, is because it's melting. It was a very, very warm winter. DICAPRIO: We came down to the southern tip of our continent besides the South Pole, to film this, cause this is where this, this, the last snow is left. ALEJANDRO: I think that, my point of view I was saying to my, to my son, I said, you know, it's funny that, it's very sad but probably for you kids, to see snow will be a super eccentric adventure. A few people will be able to see snow in the future. DICAPRIO: I feel like I'm in some weird, surreal movie. I honestly look around, and I think, when I have children, everything that we now take for granted, our planet and all of its biodiversity and beauty. Everything in the future is gonna be different. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ Every single light that you see has to be completely different. It has to come from a different power source. We need to build all those things differently, all the cars that are on the road need to be different. And this is one city, and if you zoom out onto a large map of planet earth at night, you see electrification all over the world. And we're fighting powerful fossil fuel interests that basically want to keep doing business as usual. How can we possibly turn this all around? MUSK: The fossil fuel industry is the biggest industry in the world. They have more money and more influence than any other sector, so I mean, the more that there can be sort of popular uprising against that, the better. But I think the scientific fact of the matter is, we are unavoidably headed towards some level of, of harm. So, the sooner we can take action, the less harm will result. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ DICAPRIO: Wow. Holy crap. That's a good robot. Whoa! What is your grand vision for all of this? MUSK: The point of the Gigafactory is to get the cost of batteries down to the point where it's affordable. DICAPRIO: Right. MUSK: Batteries are critical to the sustainable energy future. The sun doesn't shine all the time, so, you've got to store it in a battery. DICAPRIO: How is this gonna help developing nations that have massive populations that need to have power? MUSK: So, the advantage of solar and batteries is that you can avoid building electricity plants at all. So you could be in a remote village and have solar panels that charge a battery pack, that then supplies power to the, to the whole village, without ever having to run thousands of miles of high voltage cable over the place. It's like, what happened with landline phones versus cellular phones, in a lot of developed countries they just didn't do the landline phones, they just went straight to cellular. And we actually did the calculations today, like, what would it take to transition the whole world to, uh, sustainable energy. What kind of throughput would you actually need? Um, and you'd need 100 gigafactories. So. DICAPRIO: 100 of these? MUSK: 100 of these, yes. DICAPRIO: That would make the United States. MUSK: No, the whole world. DICAPRIO: The whole world? MUSK: The whole world. All energy. DICAPRIO: That's it? ! MUSK: Yeah. DICAPRIO: That sounds, that doesn't sound. MUSK: It's manageable. DICAPRIO: That sounds manageable. MUSK: Yeah. The Gigafactory, when it's complete, will have the largest footprint of any building in the world. Counting multiple levels, it could be as much as 15 million square feet. So, Tesla can't build 100 gigafactories. The thing that's really gonna make a difference is if companies that are much bigger than Tesla do the same thing. If the big industrial companies in China, and U. S., and Europe, the big car companies, if they also do this, then collectively we can accelerate the transition to sustainable energy. And if government sets the rules to favor sustainable energy, we can get there really quickly. But it's really fundamental. Unless there's a price put on carbon. DICAPRIO: We're never gonna be able to make the transition that we need to in time. Correct? MUSK: Yeah. And the only way to do that is basically with a carbon tax. DICAPRIO: Okay, now walk me through a carbon tax, which is what you're saying, is the silver bullet for climate change. MANKIW: Well the carbon tax would be basically a tax on any kind of activity that put carbon into the atmosphere. So when you tax something, you raise the price, people are gonna tend to consume less of it. In fact that's sort of lesson number one of economics. DICAPRIO: So you're teaching economics at Harvard, and you literally wrote the book on contemporary economics, right? MANKIW: Well if I'm teaching the course for many years, I might as well write the textbook to go with it. DICAPRIO: So just to be clear, you've worked with a lot of Republican heavyweights, John McCain, Mitt Romney, and you worked for George Bush when he became president. MANKIW: I was chairman of the council of economic advisors. DICAPRIO: So how come we don't have a carbon tax already? MANKIW: Politicians don't always do what professors want them to do. [Cigarette ad]. MANKIW: So the basic idea is that we wanna tax bad activities that have negative side effects on other people in society. So we'd raise the price of cigarettes by putting a tax on cigarettes, people are gonna consume fewer cigarettes. Climate change involves a variety of negative side effects and costs. A carbon tax forces people to take account of those costs. I think trying to appeal to people's social responsibility is really very, very hard, because people have complicated lives and they have lots of things to worry about, they don't want to have to think about climate change every time they do every decision. They can't. And every time you turn on your car, are you supposed to think, Uh oh, what am I doing to the climate? What the carbon tax does is it nudges them in the direction of doing the right thing. DICAPRIO: So lemme get this straight. You're a Republican, who wants more taxes? MANKIW: Well, one of the important things to keep in mind is that if you have a carbon tax, you can turn around and cut other taxes in response. For example, payroll taxes. This is a tax shift rather than a tax increase. DICAPRIO: So is it possible to ever pass a carbon tax now, given the current political situation? I mean, half the people in office still don't believe in climate change. PRES. OBAMA: Yes we can! MANKIW: During the campaign, President Obama didn't wanna say the word carbon tax, because it would poll terribly. If we wanna change the president's view of carbon taxes, we need to change the public's view of carbon taxes. Think of gay marriage. Remember Barack Obama ran against gay marriage. PRES. OBAMA: I, uh, am not a supporter of gay marriage. MANKIW: When did he switch? When the polls started switching. PRES. OBAMA: I think same‐sex couples should be able to get married. MANKIW: Politicians, whether we call them our elected leaders, are really our elected followers. They do what the people want them to do. We need to preach to the American people. Once the American people are convinced, the politicians will fall in line very quickly. NEWS REPORTER: President Obama and representatives from nearly 200 other countries are trying to reach an agreement to keep global warming in check. KERRY: In December, the world will come together at the U. N. Climate Conference in Paris, and we will see whether or not we can muster the collective political will to reach an ambitious, comprehensive agreement. This is a critical year. Leo. How you doing, man? DICAPRIO: Thank you for your time, I really appreciate it. KERRY: Last time we had a hug everybody had a, did you see, it was all over the thing? It was pretty dangerous. DICAPRIO: Oh, really? Oh, yes I remember that. I forgot about that! Good to see you, Secretary. So, after decades of failed negotiations, what makes this negotiation different from all the rest? I remember the footage of George Bush Sr. saying we've just learned about this thing called global warming. GEORGE BUSH SR: We come to Rio proud of what we've accomplished and committed to extending the record on American leadership on the environment. DICAPRIO: I mean, we had climate summit after climate summit, and we've seen so little action. KERRY: Well, let me tell you why this is different, and it really is different. Last year President Obama was able to stand up in Beijing with the Chinese President Shi and announce intended reductions in emissions for Paris. KERRY: Well guess what, when the two largest economies in the world and the two largest emitters in the world stand up and make a statement like that, that's created a momentum that never existed before. KERRY: A lot of things are coming together. Tragically, the full measure of the negative impact of climate change is coming together too. What's happening now is that you have mass populations that are moving as a result of climate. [Climate refugee news video]. KERRY: Or you have huge fights over water, which could erupt into wars. [City riot]. KERRY: And any extremist philosophy could appeal to people if they have nowhere to live, no way to live, and that's when people are vulnerable. [Syrian refugees]. KERRY: If anybody thinks I'm kidding about that, it's happening today. And the greatest fear about all of this is leaving this planet in better shape than we were given it and that's not what we're doing today. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ ROCKSTROM: Today I spend most of my time on understanding how can we secure a prosperous future for humanity in a situation where we're starting to hit the ceiling of what the planet can cope with. And I have the privilege of chairing something called the Earth League, which is a network of leading earth system scientists, try and gather really all the knowledge we have on understanding our future on, on earth. We are on average moving towards a four degrees warming this century. And we haven't been in a four‐degree warmer world, um, for the past four million years. So it's not as if it's a place we know very well. DICAPRIO: So give me one, sort of picture of what the world may look like if we do not take action. ROCKSTROM: To begin with, for the past twelve thousand years, temperatures are almost miraculously stable. In fact, average temperatures vary within only plus minus one degrees Celsius during this entire period. DICAPRIO: This perfect planet with this perfect atmosphere. ROCKSTROM: Yeah. Exactly. And so, let us then move upwards in temperature. DICAPRIO: Where are we right now? ROCKSTROM: Well, today we're approaching one degree Celsius. Already it just, 0.85 degrees, we're seeing faster than predicted impacts. NEWS REPORTER: This storm is so big, so vast, 60 million Americans will feel its power. NEWS REPORTER 2: We're in a historic drought. ROCKSTROM: The world's coral reefs begin to collapse even before two degrees. DICAPRIO: And we're predicted to hit 1.5, to 2 degrees. So. ROCKSTROM: Already now. So. DICAPRIO: That's already probably gonna happen. ROCKSTROM: That's already probably gonna happen. At 3, 4 degrees, we will have heat waves which makes many regions in the world not livable any longer. Agriculture will be collapsing around the equator. That would take us beyond being able to responsibly feed humanity. What makes scientists so nervous is that we can reach a point where earth takes over and starts reinforcing warming. This is what we call tipping points, and the most obvious one is Greenland. Greenland, for the first time, is melting on its entire surface to a point where, instead of being a white surface, becomes a dark surface, and suddenly instead of becoming a cooler, becomes a self‐heater. DICAPRIO: Because, because of the fact the ice can no longer reflect back. ROCKSTROM: Just the color change. DICAPRIO: Just the color change of the ice. ROCKSTROM: Suddenly, all these feedbacks start kicking in. Methane stuck under frozen permafrost thaws to a point where it starts getting released. DICAPRIO: And that in turn warms the planet even more, which releases more methane. ROCKSTROM: Correct. DICAPRIO: That's if we don't take immediate action. ROCKSTROM: Yes. That's business as usual. But the Paris Climate Summit that we are soon approaching in December, if world leaders come together properly, the window is open, but barely open, to transition back into a stable planet. Last time we had our climate summit, you couldn't say that we could go to scale on high tech, clean energy solutions. But now in Paris, we can say so. We actually have the proof. You know you wake up in Germany Saturday morning, you're likely to get 30 percent of your electricity from solar and wind, and not from a few energy utilities, but from over 2 million citizens delivering to a grid. Denmark today produces over 100 percent, some days, of its electricity needs from wind. 100 percent. It's totally renewable. And remember that, once you've invested in wind and solar, you actually have free energy forever. ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ In countries like my own, in Sweden, there was an enormous uprising among people. You know, from youth groups to citizen side organizations, to the point that the prime minister announced three weeks back that Sweden will now become the world's first fossil fuel‐free nation. DICAPRIO: Congratulations. ROCKSTROM: I was shocked at the way that it propelled itself from below. I think we have tipped the world toward a sustainable future. The fear is are we doing it too slowly? ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ ♪ [MUSIC] ♪ KI‐MOON: Ladies and gentleman, you are here today to write the script for a new future. The fate of our planet is in your hands. WOMAN: I am a small island girl with big dreams from the Island of Majuro in the Marshall Islands. Back when I was six or seven, my grandpa told me about how the ice in the North Pole and the South Pole will melt away, and as they melt, the water will rise and soon flood our islands. This agreement is for those of us whose identity, whose culture, whose ancestors, whose whole being is bound to their lands. KERRY: This agreement will help the world prepare for the impacts of climate change that are already here, and also, for those we know are now headed our way inevitably. DICAPRIO: Nearly a quarter of a century of global climate talks have come to this pivotal moment in Paris. 195 countries saying they'll do everything in their power to change. [French President]. [APPLAUSE] DICAPRIO: There's no doubt that this agreement is a massive step forward. But does it go far enough? REPORTER: The Paris Agreement calls for keeping climate warming to well below two degrees Celsius, while striving for 1.5. REPORTER: There's no mention of a carbon tax, there's no mention of any penalties. REPORTER: There are no enforcement provisions. DICAPRIO: We just have to take it on faith that all these countries are gonna follow through with what they say. How likely is that? FOX NEWS: This is an unattainable deal that Congress has already voted to reject. INHOFF: The fact that we're going to have a 26‐28 percent reduction in CO2 emissions, that isn't gonna happen. I chair the committee that has jurisdiction over the Environmental Protection Agency. PRES. OBAMA: Hey man. Good to see ya. DICAPRIO: Thank you so much. PRES. OBAMA: You doing alright? DICAPRIO: Absolutely. PRES. OBAMA: Alright. C'mon. The Paris Agreement ended up being a historic agreement, not because it gets us to where we need to be eventually, but for the first time, locking in all countries into verifiable steps and targets that they're gonna take. It creates the architecture that allows us to finally start dealing with this problem in a serious way. DICAPRIO: So you were happy with what came of it? PRES. OBAMA: I, I, I was happy that we put the architecture in place. The, the targets that have been set in Paris are nowhere near enough for what the scientists tell us we have to do eventually to solve this problem. But if we can use the next 20 years to apply existing technologies to reduce carbon emissions, and then start slowly turning up the dials as new technologies come on line, so that we have more and more ambitious targets each year, then, we're not gonna completely reverse the warming that now is inevitable, but we can stop it before it becomes catastrophic. DICAPRIO: And it's no secret that you've been under great opposition to try to implement some of your climate change initiatives. And. PRES. OBAMA: We've got some folks on the other side. Yeah. DICAPRIO: So someone that comes into office that does not believe in the science of climate change, do they have the capacity and the power to dismantle everything that you've already worked for? PRES. OBAMA: Even if somebody came in, campaigning on denying climate science, reality has a way of, you know, hitting you in the nose if you're not paying attention. And I think that the public is starting to realize the science, in part because it's indisputable. DICAPRIO: I, I admire your optimism. PRES. OBAMA: Yeah. DICAPRIO: But you start to look at the science, look at what's going on in the Antarctic and, and scientists saying that there are sections of ice that guarantee four to six meters of ocean level rise, which will be catastrophic for the future. You are the leader of the Free World. You have access to information that most people do not. What makes you terrified for the future? PRES. OBAMA: Uh, a huge portion of the world's population lives near oceans. DICAPRIO: Mhm. PRES. OBAMA: If they start moving, then you start seeing, um, scarce resources. The subject of competition between populations. This is the reason why the Pentagon has said, this is a national security issue. This isn't just an environmental issue. This is a national security issue. You know, in addition to just the sadness that I would feel if my kids can never see a glacier, the way I saw when I went up to Alaska, uh, you know, that's the romantic side of it. That's the side that takes a walk with my daughters and I wanna be able to, them to see, or my grandkids, I want them to see the same things as I saw as I was growing up. Even if you were unsentimental about that, in very hard‐headed terms, you've gotta worry about the national security implications of this, and the capacity for the existing world order as we understand it to survive the kinds of strains that the scientists are predicting without action. This is why we have to take action now. If we keep pushing keep prodding and most importantly keep educating the public there's no reason why, uh, we can't solve this problem in time. DICAPRIO: Thank you for your time, Mr. President. PRES. OBAMA: You bet. Thanks for the good work you're doing. DICAPRIO: Thank you so much. PRES. OBAMA: Alright. Good? SELLERS: I have realized that as a science community we have not done the best job, frankly, of communicating this threat to the public. But when you go up there and see it with your own eye, how thin the world's atmosphere is, tiny little onion skin around the earth. That's all the oxygen that we breathe, that's the CO2, everything we burn goes into it. It's an astonishingly fragile film. You know, I knew intellectually how the earth's system works, 'cause that's what I've been doing for 20 years. To see how the atmosphere and the ocean, all the elements in the system work together. So I understood it intellectually. DICAPRIO: Mhm. SELLERS: But it's like being an ant trying to understand what an elephant looks like by crawling all over the elephant. But when you're up there in orbit, and you can see 1200 miles in any direction, I mean, let me tell you. It's kind of a revelation. Seeing all the cities at night, millions of people all working away, doing something. Come around the day side of the world, seeing the natural systems. The hurricanes, huge, great big wheels, you know, over the oceans. Saw the Amazon River go between my feet. For like five minutes, you know, I have a whole green carpet either side. Just beautiful, all the way out to the sea. And you know there was the sun coming up over the Amazon, the whole forest waking up, and doing what it does every day, you know. Breathing in and breathing out. So I, I, you know, at the end of all that I became immensely fond, more fond of the planet. You know? Which I never thought about when I actually just live on the surface. I'm also kind of fond of the people on there, too. It's like being taken away from your family and coming back. And um, you know, I wish it all well. I, uh, just before Christmas I got told I got pancreatic cancer. Stage 4, so it's also elsewhere in me, not just in one place. So um, you know, the, the odds are I won't be around for very long. You know, it's a very small chance of survival. So, uh, that's really motivated me to think about what's important to do, and what can I contribute in the time I have left. So this is a model simulation of the earth, now, we have about 20 satellites that are dedicated to looking at the earth, every day. One looks at clouds, one looks at the sea surface temperature, Oko looks at carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. All this information comes in, and this is the tool we use to do climate simulation. Here's an example of one thing we could see: this is ocean surface temperature, as measured from space. This is the whole world's surface temperature. You can see the poles melting, there. DICAPRIO: Wow. ' What's special over there? Why are you walking backwards? Madam, don't go in Lord Muruga, help! Why is the projector running? No one is in the classroom - Shouldn't waste electricity - Thank God, it's clean now Classroom is neat and clean I asked them to clean it up And they did a good job You had to tell them to clean? It should be clean always Not when you tell them Get up, Ravikumar I can hear footsteps again What are they lugging now? Steamed cake! We were supposed to kill this boy Is this a store room or a mortuary? Sir, Principal and ISO officers are coming here to inspect I was asked to tell you to keep the students here even if the bell goes - Even after the bell rings? - Yes, sir Who is this? For 3 days no time to even breathe 1 minute Time to ring the bell Let me ring the bell What happened? You fainted on that day after you drank juice? - When? - On Sports day Yes, why? Who gave you that juice? My name? Then this book should also have more copies NSS students gave me Who told them to distribute the juice? I don't remember now - Forgot, Shiva - Think...think Then? KS sir had arranged it on the table What are you doing here when Inspection is going on? In the absence of a teacher don't you know it is wrong to access the computer? I know, sir Why are you not in class, sir? You've changed your shirt too What audacity to interrogate me! You've taken a copy of this book and not returned it for a whole year David would have killed his pet cat with a pencil I know I've read this Where is Nitin? Nitin or Nitin's dead body? Don't act smart You targeted Nitin in the pool and poisoned him but he had a lucky escape You've killed him with a pencil I will- First we shall take a look at the library Our library is the biggest in the whole of South Asia Don't interfere in what doesn't concern you Tell me where you've hidden Nitin You won't understand my motive Tell me, Maya Don't, sir I don't have time to play hide and seek with you Where have you hidden Nitin? Answer me Maya, stop! Before the Inspection ends I need Nitin's body Tell me You can't escape from me (phone rings) You can't leave this library till you tell me where his body is Where is Nitin? Let go of me, sir Don't, sir Tell me where Nitin is I will let you go You can't escape from me Shiva! What are you doing, sir? If what I want doesn't happen I'll kill both of you Shiva, he killed Nitin Yes, I killed him Run, Maya I waited for 2 years for this day, Shiva You cannot escape from me Tell me where you have hidden Nitin Grab him Shiva, don't I don't have time My plan has to succeed Aiyo! Must keep this clean This place looks abandoned Look at the cobwebs First check if he is breathing No, madam I did it for the welfare of the students How can you justify a murder, sir? Who is he? He is Sridhar Our school teacher Who is he? He is Rangasamy Correspondent of Alamelu school What are you doing here? Came to meet madam Who is this? Ravikumar the new teacher I didn't kill him to get you caught Don't spare him, Shiva Oh God! Is this a school? Is it a riot with bodies strewn around? Aren't you aware of any of this? Madam, how will I know? I was with you the whole time Who is standing there now? I suspected him right then He belongs to the slum nearby Nab him What's happening here? I'm terrified Princi, call the ambulance I'll accept I'm the murderer in front of everyone Let go of me now Whatever you say you cannot escape, sir Mr Sudandhiram Gone...everything is gone with the wind How could you murder a student being a teacher yourself? Is it true you killed his son due to a feud between you and Vijithkanth? It seems you misbehaved with a girl in school And you killed him because he confronted you Is that true? Only after someone dies will you lend me your ears That too, the deceased should be a VIP If a laborer dies when constructing a building, that's bit news But the same building collapses and 60 people die that's sensational important news Look how worthless a life is valued? In this same school, 2 years ago in a swimming pool, a child- A child fell into the pool and died Your memory will be short If you had thought that tragic death was an important piece of news ...I won't be standing as a culprit before you now My child My daughter, Divya What wrong did she do? Tell me 'There is no meaning to a solitary life' 'My wife, daughter and I were a close knit family' 'Nitin destroyed all that in a minute' 'If I had thought of taking revenge on Nitin for Divya's sake...' '... I would have killed him the day I knew he was the murderer' 'It is an age when they are unaware of their shortcomings' 'Teenager' 'That's why I didn't take any action though I was seeing him daily' 'But using his money power and influence he thought he could get away with murder' 'Using my child's demise as a convenient excuse...' '...he was ruining an innocent girl's life' Only punishment can appease a crime 'More than taking revenge on him...' '... I wanted this management which was supporting his crimes to be exposed' 'The management which thrived in covering up all escapades...' '... I knew would do so in this matter also' 'I dealt with him on the day of the Inspection' 'I knew my act won't change this society drastically' Then what is your problem? Not my problem It is our problem The same school expelled a student last year He blamed this school and committed suicide He was only 14 No one was bothered Because of callousness on part of this school a child died falling from a moving bus She was just 8 years old No one took notice then either Is this the age to die? They have built this school over such a vast area 3 grounds belong to the Govt If one of you had raised a query that crime could have been stopped So close down all private schools and students will go to Govt school? I didn't say that Education is not a profession It is a service Care and concern shown towards a student I pity all parents If their kids study in a school that levies a fat fee they will get an elevated status in our society is their blind belief! So schools take advantage and charge an arm and a leg They compete at every level In sticking posters, building construction, fees collection, ISO endorsement Competition and rivalry in every sphere and level Shame on them! Even in adding a teacher to their school they compete Not being blessed enough to take a bus to school there are still students who walk miles to schools in our country Isn't this a fact? There are still students who depend on the Govt's noon meal scheme in school Wearing the uniform the Govt gives them there are students who celebrate festivals Haven't they excelled? Made a name for themselves What's wrong with these students then? I wish to say this here Don't sell knowledge Please don't barter education Tell me, Maya I'm held up in a very important research work Female research, huh? What a surprise? ! Come and join us She's just a friend I waste your time, huh! Why did you suddenly show up here? Why shouldn't I? I understand, but- My uncle is here - Where are you going? - Don't follow me Reserve all these tales for your flat nose beauty! subtitled by rekhs assisted by harini "With LED eyes you tied me (b)right" "With strawberry lips you glued me tight" "You made me sing off key" "You made me dance in a frenzy" "Don't bug me...seriously!" "Don't target me religiously!" "With razor sharp words, don't scar me" "With LED eyes you tied me (b)right" "With strawberry lips you glued me tight" "I'm a kindergarten kiddo Love weighing 10 kilo" "In my heart, you made me heave-ho!" "I was a birdie flying free" "You made me fly like a love-birdie" "My temptation; my sensual find You're playing ball with my mind" "I am flustered and in a flurry You're my breath hereafter, dearie" "Ezhumalai! What is the answer?" "Is the reply in my favor?" "Tell me what you think Don't just blink" "She is my darling with eyes mesmerizing" "On my velvet cheeks, culverts of kisses without tollgates, you imprinted, princess" "Despite WhatsApp, Viber, et al unreachable, you made me yell" "I was shy, thanks to you Trapped in your glance anew" "To you in toto I surrender I'll be your equal half forever" "With LED eyes you tied me (b)right" "With strawberry lips you glued me tight" (theme music) (man panting) - (man screaming) - What a way to die, - mauled to death... - Henry... you don't know that's what happened. You didn't see it, George. Those terrible scratches on his face alone would let you know if you did. Sir. What have you, George? Sir, the man who discovered him was checking his snares this morning. He seemed surprised, almost disappointed to find out he'd snagged a human. I suppose he was expecting his dinner. Right. Have him come down to the Station House for a word. Do we know the victim's identity yet? He has nothing on his person, sir. We searched the area for his wallet, no luck. Judging by the scratches on his face, I'd say he was attacked by an animal of some kind. - Higgins has a theory, sir. - Uh, George... Does it pertain to this case? He certainly thinks it does, he hasn't shut up about it. (Higgins sighs.) Henry? Sir, it's like a... I only saw it for a minute. Saw what? You better follow me, sir. This way. Now, I warn you, sir, - it's not a pretty sight. - I'll prepare myself. You may want to keep your distance as well. (girl grunting) Stay back, sir. It may look harmless, but I've seen that thing kill and eat a live chicken with my own eyes. Really? Look no further, sir. It's your killer. (grunting) How do you know about this, Henry? Well, I paid to see it, sir. Ten cents, but it was worth it. From the shores of Borneo, sir. Could have been the mountains, I don't recall exactly, sir, - but someplace... - Who cares for her? ! Well, a keeper. He collects the money. - I don't know, she hardly seems to be... - What the hell are you two doing in here? Show's not open for another hour. Detective Murdoch, Toronto Constabulary. But you still have to pay. - Ten cents each you owe me. - I've paid once already. He hasn't... - Who are you? - Mick Travis. And this is my property, so police or no police, you're trespassing. - Now what do you want? - A man was killed last night not half a mile from here. - Where were you? - "Where were you?" Don't you be flimflamming with your penny-ante questions. You're not interested in where "I" was. Very well. Where was she? She was locked up all night and nowhere near your dead man. (Murdoch): And why do you keep her caged? To keep her safe. It's in her own best interest. And charging admission to view her in a cage, is that also in her best interest? She's... paying her keep. - Mr. Travis, is it? - Aye. You're coming with us to the Station House. - I have no reason to. - Do I have to arrest you? - Come on! - Don't lay your hands on me. - (girl grunting) - I'm doing nothing the law says I can't! Unlawful confinement of a person or persons. You're coming with us. I finished my anatomy report on the unclaimed bank robber. - Mrs. Braxton? - Yes. I appreciated the opportunity, Dr. Ogden. Well, if you put what you learn to good use, her unfortunate death will not be for nothing. I trust that she offered some challenges. Yes, she did. Good. Now we can give Roland's mother a proper burial. Thank you, gentlemen. So what did you glean? Surely there was something. There was indeed, Dr. Ogden. Mrs. Braxton was not a full woman. Meaning? She had no ovaries. She was born without a complete reproductive system. She couldn't bear children? Whoever she is, she isn't your baby's mother. Who is this girl that you keep locked up? And don't give me that story about Borneo. I... came across her in the Appalachian Mountains some ten years ago. Well, she came across me, more like. How so? I was asleep in the caravan when I heard something rummaging around my campfire. In the darkness, I thought it was a bear - and almost shot it. - Where did she come from? No idea. You ask me, she was raised by wolves. Highly unlikely. Sir, she's as wild as the day is long, mister. So, you keep her caged like a beast. Look, she's clothed and fed and in a better state than when I found her. And before you start, she's legally mine. I have the paper to prove it. There you go. Named her Fen for the record. Check for yourself. And she's happy where she is. I very much doubt that. There's no force the way I handle her. She's content as long as she gets fed. So no law broken. See for yourself. I've nothing to hide. Do you know this man? Never clapped eyes on him. I had to stop myself from throttling the man who keeps her. I had neither the ability to arrest him or to rescue her. She is his legal property. That's appalling! A man is allowed to exhibit a young girl in a cage, and there's nothing I can do about it. (Julia sighing) What of our victim's body? His wounds were mostly superficial, the most pronounced being facial lacerations. He was gouged, likely by claws or nails. And this. A deep bite on his right hand. The wounds were made with pointed incisor teeth. So likely an animal attack then? That would have been my conclusion if not for the stab wound in his upper back. The thrust was a downward motion, but not a fatal blow. - Then how did he die? - He bled to death. If he hadn't been trapped, he may have survived. What time would he have been stabbed? I couldn't say. I only know that he died between 2 and 4 in the morning. He may have been in the snare for hours afterwards. That or that he was attacked while in the snare. By this feral child? No, she was inside a cage at the time of the murder. William, I'd be most interested in examining her if it would help. Of course. Thank you, Julia. Oh, I spoke with the nanny at the hotel, and she assures me that Roland is fine. I know you were concerned about leaving him with a stranger. She'd let us know if he needs us? Of course. Of course. And the animal bones that I saw in her cage, George, some of them are too big to be from chickens. She may be eating cats and dogs even. Maybe even a goat? Could be a small goat, Henry. You know, you joke, but the keeper told us she fought off a wolf when she was 7 years old. She has a nasty scar on her arm to prove it. These would be the wolves that raised her, I assume. Don't be so ridiculous, George, it wouldn't be the same wolves. The attack likely came from a rival pack. Henry, let's get to work. Right? What were you hoping to catch, Mr. Hewitt? Well, it wasn't a man, I can tell you that. You see, something is killing livestock at my farm. I reckoned whatever it is roams the ravine and I aimed to catch it. Your farm is near where you set the snare, correct? - Yes. - Were you home that night? Did you not hear a man cry out? Well, I heard noises, but I thought it was the animal I was looking to catch. I didn't know it was human until I checked the snare this morning. - God rest his soul. - (knocking on door) - (indistinct chatter) - ♪♪♪ (woman): My detective agency is at your disposal. - I appreciate that, Miss Pink. - How can I help? I have just learned some distressing news about the baby William and I adopted. Well, about his deceased mother actually. What is it? She wasn't born with a complete reproductive system. She couldn't have been Roland's natural mother. Well, that must have been a bolt out of the blue. It never occurred to either of us to question his parentage. And what do you want me to do? Find out if his natural mother is alive. - Can I ask for your discretion? - Absolutely. What do you know about the mother and her husband? Not much. Nigel Braxton was a safecracker from England. His wife, Joanne, was from Stratford, Ontario. I think her maiden name was Perly. And they have no surviving family. - How old is the child? - About 9 months. Are you sure that you want to know the truth? What do you mean? It's a question that I ask all of my clients. What I find out for them isn't always what they'd hoped for. At this moment, I can't say. I will be in touch. Thank you. She's gone! I came back from the Station House to set up for the show, - and she was gone. - Has this happened before? She's never been set free. I don't know what she's capable of. This lock, it's faulty. Did you not notice? Sure if I noticed, I would have fixed it, wouldn't I? This means the girl could have gotten out the night of the murder. (indistinct chatter) Constables will pair off and search for this girl in an orderly fashion. The local farmers who are upset about their dead livestock will be joining us. The armoury has been opened, but only use force if necessary. Having said that, be cautious. This girl could be vicious. Crabtree, bring the lads up to speed. (small chuckle) Our little man doesn't seem too harmed by his day with the nanny. I won't be staying for dinner; I'm joining the search for the missing young woman. You think she could be the killer? I don't know, but I'd rather a mob didn't decide. - Still have no idea who she is? - No. But in spite of Mr. Travis' claims, she wasn't always feral. At the very least, she had a mother who gave birth to her. Yes, she did. - Are we ready, men? - (farmers): Ready! I say we shoot whatever it is and ask the questions after! - (farmers cheering) - You pull a stunt like that and it'd be murder. I'll personally see to it that you all bloody hang for it, no matter who pulls the trigger. She killed a man and won't get away with it as long as I'm standing. Night will fall soon, that's when she's likely to move. Ready the torches! You'll not be readying anything until I say so, got it? Right then. Each of you will pair up with a constable. Crabtree, you talk to that farmer. You, stick with me! ♪♪♪ (indistinct chatter) - Keep your eyes open! - Yes. Do you see that trail? Ah, George, there you are! - Sir. - I need you to come with me. The girl, Fen, she's likely to flee from the light of the torches. But then, sir, how will we see? - With these. - Good gracious! Now, George, if you were trying to get away, which direction would you be likely to go in? - Sir, I would follow the river. - Exactly. (door closing) So you have something? Not yet. I need more information on Roland. Any physical details that may help to identify him? There's nothing. He's completely perfect. Freddie, now that you're here, I've been thinking... Yes? If Roland's parents were looking for him, surely they would have informed the Constabulary. Maybe so. Perhaps... they don't care. You're having second thoughts. You asked if I wanted to know the truth... perhaps not knowing is the best course. You wouldn't be the first of my clients to change their mind. No father could be better than William. He loves the boy. He truly is his son. And you, Julia? I can't bear the thought of not having Roland. Well then it's settled. He couldn't have better parents, you must never question that. (Julia sighs.) - I'm gonna take this way! - Come on, over here! - I've got nothing! - Help me! Nothing that way! Look. Over there! It won't get away this time! - Everyone, stay close. - It's over here! Come on! Keep up with them! Go! Go! - Move it! - Alright, alright, I see it! There! There! - Oh! Ugh! Ugh! - (Hewitt): Get it! Get it! Hewitt, get back! - No! Don't hurt me, please! - Dead or alive! Please! He's no more of a beast than I am. Let's leave the man in peace. ♪♪♪ Can you see alright, George? Sir, as clear as day. Ugh! Argh! Well, not... quite as clear as day, but I can see. I can see. - Shhh! - What is it? It's Mr. Travis. Looking for his girl, no doubt. That's the thing, George. He's quite purposefully walking the opposite direction, towards his campsite. That's odd for sure. I'll follow him, George. You keep going along the river. That's the direction he just came from. Sir. (strange panting) (girl panting and grunting) Sir? (girl grunting) - Sir! Sir! - (Murdoch's sighs in frustration) Come here quick! (girl grunting) Sir! It's alright. (girl grunting) It's alright. (George screaming) Sir! Sir! Sir! - AAARGH! - George! AAAH! Get off him! (girl grunting) Stop! Hold still. You're fine. (handcuffs clinking) Well done, George. You're alright? I think so, sir. (girl grunting) She's tethered! Someone is hiding her here. Travis most likely, sir. Alright. You must have stumbled upon her lair. You approached her. She felt threatened, so she attacked you. Should I bring her back to the cells? No, no. The Toronto Asylum under Dr. Ogden's care will be best. Right. Do you think she's the killer, sir? Certainly seems capable of it. I'd have to agree. Alright. (Fen grunting) Fen, I'm going to put you to sleep for a little while. (indistinct chatter) (Dr. Ogden exhales.) My goodness! Hard to believe it's the same girl. Her persona was very much exaggerated. Her hair and body unwashed... That's quite a scar. Yes. From an animal attack some years ago. Mr. Travis claims that she was mauled by a wolf. It's quite possible, William. Her teeth have been deliberately filed down into points. I took an impression. It matches our victim's bite mark. I'd be worried about that, George. Dr. Ogden looked at it, she says it's healing nicely. It does hurt like the Devil though. - Maybe you caught something. - Something? ! - Rabies? - Henry, she's a girl, not a dog! What if she bit a dog before she bit you? George, you're not thinking clearly. - That's a symptom, you know? - Where is he? ! Huh? You've no right to keep her! She's my property, and I've a lineup of customers waiting. Well, then they'll just have to wait. But thanks for popping in because we've got some questions we'd like to ask you. - What were you doing in the woods last night? - Looking for the girl. Why else? You were not looking for her; you were hiding her! Now, why would I do that, huh? Stop playing the innocent. You let her out, tied her up, no doubt waiting for the perfect opportunity to go back, get her, and leave town. Meanwhile the Constabulary and half the neighbourhood are on a wild goose chase looking for her. Enough with the lies, Mr. Travis. What is going on? You're right. I was leaving. I wanted to get her as far away from this town before you bloodthirsty lot strung her up for something she had nothing to do with. We have evidence that she attacked the victim. - Like what? - Her bite mark on his hand. You call that evidence? (Travis laughing) I warn all the spectators not to get too close to her cage. That only proves the man can't listen to sound advice. - When did the victim see her? - How would I know? Lots of people come through. She's quite the attraction. Now, where you keeping her? She's in better hands than yours. (Fen grunting and panting) You're safe here, Fen. Safe. No one will hurt you. (Fen grunting) (Fen panting) Would you like to listen to some music? (Fen grunting) (piano and guitar music playing) (Fen panting more slowly) (Fen grunting) What are you trying to say? William. You're just in time to see these gestures she's making. - (Fen grunting) - What do they mean? I have no idea. They require further observation. But her appearance, her choice in food, the scars; they all suggest she's been living in the wild for some time. Fascinating. I can understand why people would want to pay to see her. Well, Julia, surely not. (Julia): What are we doing but watching her, William? About time you paid for help. How much you offering? - Five cents. - Ten. A nickel, final offer! What do you know? - I seen him. - Did you now? - He went to see that beast in the cage. - What of it? I took him there. Near the river. - (birds singing) - ♪♪♪ What? ! It was right here two days ago! Yes, I'm sure it was. Give us that nickel back, you little thief! The tent was right here! Honest! I swear it's the truth! Here. You stay out of trouble, alright? So, the victim was definitely attacked here at Travis's campsite. Which the lying sod failed to tell us he moved. Bloody Irish tinkers! Nothing but trouble when they show up in their caravans. Ten to one that that knife's the murder weapon. Not a single fingermark, sir. There are traces of blood, but it's been deliberately wiped clean. Had to be Travis. - The girl wouldn't have the wherewithal to do that. - Exactly. But then, what about the bite marks? Well, the victim got too close to her. As you discovered, Fen reacts violently when approached. Indeed she does. So the victim and the girl were involved in an altercation. Or Travis set her on him. Either way, Travis stabbed him and then tried to cover it up. But why? Any news from the victim, Crabtree? Nothing yet, sir, but I've widened my search, sent out a province-wide description. Constables. Come with me, I've found the killer. "Constables." See. I got it. A vicious coyote. - And he's the killer? - He is indeed. Ah... So, uh... explain to me how he could use that? - ♪♪♪ - (Fen panting) - (indistinct chatter) - (distant woman): Bye-bye! Julia! This is a nice surprise. - How are you? - (Baby babbling) I just picked up our little man and thought we'd drop by for a visit. I've been trying to get Fen interested in food. She shows a passing interest in oatmeal. - (Fen grunting) - (Murdoch): Any other changes? She's still making the gestures, but I haven't been able to decipher any pattern. It certainly doesn't match any sign language that I can find. (Murdoch): Perhaps it is just random. - (baby babbling) - Hello, Roland. Am I ignoring you? (Julia chuckling) - Oh! - The nanny says that - we are to feed him more often. - Hahaha! - He's hardly underfed, William. - I agree, but she insists. There. No? See, you're not even hungry. (Fen grunting) Do you see that, William? (Fen grunting) You like the baby? - You want to see the baby? - (Fen grunting) I think she's more interested in you, William. Pa! - She's speaking. - Paaa! Paa. - After a fashion. - Paa... Do you think maybe she recognizes that I'm Roland's father? And that's what all the speaking and gestures are about? It seems to be some form of primitive language. - Pa. - Well, we know she had a father at some point. It appears so. - (indistinct conversations) - I've been expecting your call. You have? You don't seem the type of person who's comfortable with unanswered questions. I want you to keep looking for his parents. Well, in fact, I've carried on with my search, anticipating this very thing. So you have something? Please tell me it's not a mother pining for her lost child. Not exactly. After her parents died, I found out that Joanne Perly left Stratford. But the trail went cold after that. So I checked into Mr. Braxton. It seems he left England for the bright lights of Brantford. There, he met and married Joanne. How did they get Roland? The woman I think was Roland's mother lived out of town on a homestead. She went into labour earlier than her time. There were complications, and she died. What happened to Roland? The rural midwife was the only person present. She reported that the baby was never delivered. The midwife was Joanne Braxton. She stole the dead woman's child? It's the only birth she attended that fits with Roland's age. And then she and her husband left the area shortly after. What about Roland's father? Is he still alive? He is. He was working out of the province at the time of his wife's death. He never questioned the official report. My God! No one knows the baby exists. No one misses him. No one mourns him. He is yours, Julia. Is this good news or bad? What would William say? He still doesn't know. Keeping a secret this profound from him would be a betrayal of the trust between us. But if I tell him... He will feel duty-bound to return Roland to his father. So leaving him in blissful ignorance could be the better path. If you think you can do that. Sir? I found a missing persons' report that matches our victim. - Who is it? - A Hugo de Jaager. Left his family home in Peterborough for Toronto a week ago. Hasn't been heard from since. - What's all this? - Sir, this is his research. He told his mother before he left he was sure he was going to find her this time. - "Her"? - The girl, sir. The feral girl. Finding her became his life's work. George, these were written years ago. Mr. de Jaager would have still been in school. Indeed he was, sir. I took the liberty of going through his material. His diaries were very intriguing, very well-written for a young lad. And what did you learn? Well, sir, it seems young Hugo preferred his own company to that of other boys. He spent long hours wandering the woods near his family farm. I suppose you could say he was a loner type, sir. In any case, one day while exploring one of his usual haunts, he came upon a strange and wondrous sight ... a pair of feral creatures, sir, a girl and a boy. He describes them in great detail, sir, their wild appearance, their animal-like movements, often on all fours, sir. - I can probably illustrate... - Perhaps another time, George. - Thank you. Go on. - Right. Sir, when Hugo tried to convince his mother, or anybody else who would listen, about the children, they dismissed his tales as wild imaginings. But he never stopped looking for the children, sir. This is all very interesting, George, but what has it to do with our case? Hugo stopped trying to convince people about the children. They became part of his own private world. Until one day, the partially decomposed body of a young boy was found in the woods by some hunters. Apparently, he'd been attacked by wolves. Near the boy's body was the torn and bloody clothes of a young girl. But the girl was never found, dead or alive. He became haunted by the mystery of what happened to this young girl. It took hold of him as you can see. He's been searching for her ever since. And he came to Toronto believing that he had found her. According to his last words to his mother, sir, he was quite confident. I think perhaps he did find her and paid the price for it. ♪♪♪ When am I getting my property back? Settle down, Travis. We need to ask you a few questions. We now know that you found Fen somewhere a little closer - than the Appalachian Mountains. - (utensil clanking in pot) - So what if I did? - So where was it? Would be 20 miles or so outside of Peterborough. Not a very glamorous locale, so I dressed it up a little. Give the punters their money's worth. - So the whole story's a lie? - Not all of it. I did almost shoot her thinking she was a bear. She was very young, no more than 8 I reckoned. Badly injured and starving. I fed her, treated her wounds. She recovered, got back her strength... but never uttered more than the odd sound. And never took to being civilized. Happy in her own filth. And that's when you started thinking she could help pay her own way, and you created the myth of "The Wild Child." That's about the sum of it, yeah. Until Mr. de Jaager discovered your campsite. He threatened to expose your show as a hoax, and you realized you were about to lose your meal ticket. - What are you saying? - What the detective is saying is you had clear motive for murder. (Travis and Brackenreid laughing) I'm glad you find it funny because you're under arrest, Travis. Seems like I'm not the only one with a gift for the tall tale, huh? You gents have come up with a beaut. Might even work it into my show. This was the murder weapon. My constable found it at your old campsite, the one you were staying at the night of the murder. Why did you move campsites? I move whenever I want. It's the beauty of a home on wheels. This is your knife, is it not? Might be... might not be. But I doubt you can prove I ever touched that thing. So if I'm the murderer... show me the evidence that'll hang me. I didn't have enough to hold him in custody. The only person who knows what happened that night is Fen. The bite mark is proof enough that she met Mr. de Jaager. But we can't communicate with her. - (Roland babbling) - William, how did those two children come to be living in the woods? They were so young. George is combing The Peterborough Examiner for clues. There has to be a story, but likely not a happy one. - (Roland babbling) - And one that we may never know. Julia... when he is old enough, we're going to have to tell Roland about his parents. As hurtful as it may be to learn that they were criminals you should know. Should know, hmm? (Murdoch chuckling) Are you sure? Yes, I should meet Roland's father. His name is Harold Connor. Julia, it will be hard to turn back once you go down this road. ♪♪♪ (knocking on door) - Good day. - Good day. How can I help you? I'm collecting for the local children's hospital. Would you care to make a donation, however modest? Well, cabinet makers don't make much, but I think I could contribute a little something. - (coins clinking) - Every penny counts. - Do you have children? - No, I don't. It's a shame. There was a time when I thought I'd pass my skills on to a son, or a daughter for that matter. But it wasn't to be. 50 cents, - would that be enough? - Absolutely. You know, you might have more luck in another part of town. People around here are barely putting food on the table. It's not they don't have good hearts, you understand? I just don't want my neighbours feeling badly for having to say no to you. Of course, it's very thoughtful. - Thank you for your time. - Have a good day. - (coins clinking) - (door closing) I started when the poor boy's body was found, and I'm working backwards from there. I'm down to 1890. It's very illuminating, sir, once you drop into the minutiae of it. Here's a story about a sow that gave birth to 13 piglets. Now that's a North Kawartha township record. Very interesting. Sir, come look at this. A farmer reports two British Home Children ran away from his employ: a boy, 8 years old, and a young girl of 5. Seems the farmer was more concerned with the hardship of replacing them than the welfare of the children. These Home Children, they were orphan workers, sent there as cheap labour. They were often very mistreated. Whatever the reason they may have left, these could be the two children Mr. de Jaager saw in the woods. The girl could be Fen, sir. The timeline matches, this is 13 years ago. It says the boy was mute. Sir, that's probably why the wolves caught him. The poor thing couldn't cry out to scare them away. Wolves are like that, sir, they'll go for the weakest of the bunch. Perhaps she tried to save him and almost got herself mauled to death. If I'm needed, I'll be at the Asylum. - Check into that detail. - Julia. I believe I've discovered the origin of Fen's gestures. - You have? - She ran away with a boy who was mute. - Pardon? - Right, uh, sorry. George found a report of two Home Children who ran away in roughly the area where Hugo de Jaager says he spotted two feral children. They would have been about 8 and 5 at the time. Wasn't the boy 11 when he was killed by wolves? Yes, and Mr. Travis figures that Fen was about 8 when he found her. The two of them survived all that time alone. Perhaps they developed this language to communicate with each other. That's extraordinary, William. - (Fen grunting) - Fen? Fen. This man. Man... Um... who... hurt... this man? Perhaps using her own experience of pain may help to convey the question you're trying to ask. Fen. Hurt. (slowly): Hurt. Hurt. Pff! Pfff! Hurt? Hurt. (Fen moaning loudly) Yes, hurt. Fen... this man. Who hurt... this man? Pa! Pa! That's the same gesture and sound she made - when she saw you with Roland! - Is she saying father? - She could be. - Paaaaa! Ah! I think she's trying to tell us who hurt Mr. de Jaager. - (Fen): Pa! - You were feeding Roland when she became so animated. Perhaps she's referring to the man who feeds her? Her keeper, Mick Travis. Is she trying to tell us he is the killer? (Fen grunts once.) (Fen grunting) There's only one way to find out. - What the hell am I doing here? - Look at it as a field trip! (Travis): Look, I've cooperated with you clowns. If you think I know anything else, - you're wasting your time! - Pa? - GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! - I've just had enough of you, you lowlife piece of... Ah! (Fen grunting) (screaming and grunting) Get off! Get off! (Travis): My property and lay off! (man): You can't do that, she's a human! - (Fen grunting) - Don't lay your hands on her! (stabbing sound) (man screaming) Come on! Get off! Get off! Shh! Shh! - Shhh! It's alright. Shh-shh! - Are you alright, sir? I think so. It's alright. Shh! See, Fen? No harm done. Huh? I wasn't hurt. - Fen was helping, I know. - Pa. Pa. It's alright, girl. It's alright now. Fen stabbed Hugo de Jaager. She was trying to protect Mr. Travis. You caught your murderer. Makes you happy, does it? You're going to advocate for Fen to remain at the asylum. Yes... though I can hardly argue that she wasn't in her right mind when she stabbed Mr. de Jaager. She was attacking a man she thought was harming her father, a perfectly rational action. But she didn't have men's rea, a guilty mind, so I have considerable leeway. Can she be helped? I don't know. But with further attention and care, she may be able to learn to control her wildness. And become civilized. (Julia sighs.) Given the behaviour of some of the so-called civilized people we encounter in our work, I wonder what we'd be teaching her. Well, she did show us that she's capable of empathy, Julia, by attempting to protect Mr. Travis the way she did. It is the hallmark of humanity. No matter what we may think of him as a man, she saw him as her father. William, there's something I have to tell you. (Julia sighs.) You have to look your best, little man. You're about to meet someone very special. ♪♪♪ (sigh) Mr. Connor. Detective Murdoch. He... he is a miracle. Meet your son... Roland. - (Roland laughing) - He's a... he's a lovely little man, and it's been our honour to care for him. You are the very best of people. I have some things for him that you might find useful. I'll arrange to have them sent over. I cannot thank you enough times. I wish you a long and happy life together. (Roland babbling) (touching music) (Julia sobbing briefly) (Julia gasping) (Julia crying) Announcer: On an all-new Murdoch... Solving a secret code. This is why he was murdered. Are you sure you want to do this? I want to see what he saw. Announcer: This time, going undercover... Bloody, copper! Announcer: Isn't what it's cut out to be. Murdoch Mysteries, next Monday at 8:00 on CBC. If you had to put some money on it, do you think Scottish independence is now coming? I think, certainly, one would say that probably somewhere around a 50% chance that Scotland is going to vote to leave the United Kingdom in the next two years. And that we may, in the end, discover that September 2014 was but simply the first instalment of a two-part drama, which, at the end of the day, resulted in the break-up of the United Kingdom. Over the past two years, Britain has been rocked and reshaped by referendums. We're living through a period of political turmoil unlike anything since the Second World War. This year's Brexit referendum was a revolt by millions of people, mainly in England, against the failures of international politics and economics. It was a rebellion against the elites which willingly gambled about the economic future and shook off warnings about Britain being too small and too poor to cope. And in all those ways, the Scottish independence referendum of 2014 provided striking earlier parallels. This is an age when contempt for Parliamentary democracy has spilled over into a new kind of politics. The next big question is whether that European revolt, not shared in Scotland, will produce a second Scottish referendum and finally break the UK apart. In the second of these films, I'm going to look back at the Scottish referendum, the EU referendum, and the options currently facing Nicola Sturgeon and the SNP. I believe that Britain will be safer, stronger in a reformed European Union. Now, it may have finished in September 2014, but the independence referendum still casts a long shadow over Scotland. Two years on, and Scotland is still dealing with the after-shocks of that referendum. And, of course, since then there's been another referendum, and while England and Wales voted to leave the EU, every single local authority area in Scotland voted to remain. Now, before the Brexit vote, there was a lot of loose talk, and I think I was one of the loose talkers, to the effect that this would mean an almost inevitable second Scottish independence referendum and the break-up of the UK. But, now it's happened, things don't feel quite like that. In fact, Brexit has thrown up new dilemmas, new problems for Scottish nationalists to resolve. And they have to resolve them in an atmosphere which remains a bit raw, a bit tender to the touch. So, why did the Scottish referendum of 2014 on independence come to seem almost inevitable? It followed on directly from the huge success of the SNP in the 2011 Scottish Parliamentary elections, when, for the first time, they won an overall majority and were able to turn to Number Ten and say, "Right, give us our referendum." And, perhaps to many people's surprise, David Cameron said, "All right, then, I will." It must have seemed a relatively safe and easy bet to him back then. Because nobody thought the Scots would actually vote, would they, for full independence quite so quickly? What neither David Cameron nor most observers could have predicted was the extraordinary outpouring of democratic energy, for good and ill, that overwhelmed Scotland in the extraordinary, heady weeks of the referendum campaign. Something that we have never seen before in Scotland, or frankly, anywhere else in the United Kingdom. THEY CHANT: Scotland says yes! Scotland says yes! Yes - the campaign for independence - hit the ground running, with star-studded events, glossy manifestos and the First Minister, Alex Salmond, leading the cry. I believe on the 18th of September, the people of Scotland will vote yes to create a better country than we have now. 'I always believed it was winnable.' What we were putting forward was something which many, many Scots found attractive. They were inherently attracted to that idea of a different, new style of Scotland. A different Scotland in terms of its social policy, it's social complexion. The idea we could have a better society in Scotland through independence. The right honourable Alistair Darling, MP. The No camp were also confident, but right from the start they were much quieter, and initially still looking for a leader. Alistair, how did it come about that you were made, as it were, leader of the Remain campaign for the Scottish referendum? Well, quite simply, because none of the political parties outside the nationalists were showing any inclination to lead. If my own party had wanted to lead the campaign I'd have happily fallen in behind them. It's the old saying - if you want something doing, do it yourself. I felt strongly about it. I feel very strongly, as we all do, about our country. And, you know, I was damned if I was just going to see the argument go by default. You've got to remember, in 2012, there was a feeling that it was almost inevitable that we were going to break away. And I just thought all the arguments fly in the face of that. For the next two years, the vote gripped the whole of Scotland, young and old, urban and rural, rich and poor. The Yes campaign became far bigger than simply people who were supporters of the SNP. Darren McGarvey grew up in a Glasgow housing scheme and is now a rapper, writer, and something of an activist. I believed in independence, because the community that I come from, it's generational poverty, alcohol abuse, drug addiction. Complete apathy towards the system. Violence everywhere. I attributed a lot of that to the decisions of the British state. A detached, pragmatic political class that shirks difficult decisions about radically changing society. Scotland's poorer working class communities, the people that conventional politics had forgotten, would have a big influence on the referendum's voting patterns. As the campaign went on, and the polls tightened, both sides launched a hunt to drive down, find, and register the so-called missing million. All those Scottish voters who hadn't voted at the time of the last election. Where did they go? They went to places like here, Easterhouse, on the outskirts of Glasgow, and housing estates beyond, some of the worst, and poorest housing anywhere in Europe. And what did those voters think? Well, most of them voted Yes. They were utterly disillusioned, and felt no loyalty to the old political establishment. To use a good Scottish word, they were simply scunnered with Westminster. Cameron government, you are done! Independence, here we come! Cameron government, you are done! Independence, here we come! I think a lot of the reasons why we've seen record levels of participation from deprived communities was because the Yes movement was genuinely something fresh and something new. And there was that sense that we were operating outside of the, kind of, the official narrative of what was going on and that there was something rebellious happening. Out on the streets there was a tremendous amount of democratic energy coursing through both sides. But the debates and the messages were also played out and impassioned through social media. The point about the referendum campaign, if I held a meeting, and, you know, virtually, I could go to any hall during the campaign and have hundreds of people turning up. But that wasn't like 400 people, that was 400 people times the 70% of them who were on social media who were broadcasting it out to their hundreds of contacts. And all of a sudden you weren't speaking to 400 people, you were speaking not to 4,000, but to 40,000 people. And the essence of what is popular and vibrant in social media is what's real. So you can't just do it without the meeting. The meeting has to be there to provide the interest, the colour, the thing that they want to talk about... It creates the carnival atmosphere. It creates its own momentum, as you rightly say, a carnival atmosphere. So, it was a campaign of deliberate spontaneity. The nationalists do say that this was a great liberation. Actually, if you're on the other side, it was not. It was divisive, it was unpleasant. You know, families, friendships have been disrupted. And, you know, basically, what they're saying is, you know, they did well. But it's a very one-dimensional thing, because, you know, they haven't accepted the result. They would like to carry on until the whole of Scotland accepts what they want. 'The bitterness affected people on the pro-Union, 'Better Together, campaign. 'Some No voters were accused of being somehow less patriotic, 'of not being proper Scots.' I'm going down to Melrose, in the Scottish Borders, to talk to a man nobody could accuse of not being a proper Scot. Alistair Moffat has been a television executive, he's helped run a university, he is a very, very highly-respected historian. He runs book festivals, a close personal friend of Gordon Brown, and a Labour man. But I'm really going down to see him because Alistair is, above anything else, a Borderer. The Borders are special. In the Borders, only a third of people voted for independence. Two thirds voted against. So I'm going down to hear what it's like being on the other side of the Scottish argument. 'The beautiful little town of Melrose has deep links 'to Scottish history. 'After Robert the Bruce, Scotland's medieval independence hero, died, 'his heart was buried at the 12th-century abbey.' Alistair, could we start by talking about this area, the Borders, and how distinctive that is in Scottish politics? Well, geography makes the Borders distinctive. We've got sheltering hills to the south in the shape of the Cheviots and the Lammermuirs to the north. And it's a great river basin, the Tweed basin. And so, geographically distinctive, culturally distinctive, and also politically distinctive. I suppose the latest demonstration of that was in the independence referendum, where the Borders voted emphatically No here. And the reason for that, Andrew, I think, was that we are right on the border. We're right... We know who the English are. They're our neighbours. And so there's a sense of our brothers and sisters across this artificial line. And the idea of us, somehow, separating from England, people just couldn't make sense of it. Why would we do that? You must form alliances, unions, bigger blocks to take on the problems of globalisation. If you're smaller, you're more prey, not less. But it does now look like the EU referendum has changed many minds on the left in Scotland, perhaps even in the Borders. The Scots have always been at their best when they are outward looking. Think of the Enlightenment, think of the great scientists, the great artists and, so, to withdraw from the European Union, I think, would go against the historical and cultural grain of many Scots. You sound almost as if, as a No campaigner, you might vote Yes in those circumstances? I wouldn't vote Yes, but I can understand people who do. And there are many parallels between the two referendums, the Scottish one and the EU one. If Scotland walks away from the UK, it walks away from the UK pound. Scotland's kind of revolt was different. More populist, left wing and anti-London, rather than anti-immigration and anti-Brussels. It was, however, at least as passionate. But while Yes Scotland appealed to the heart, the Unionists went for the head, with a barrage of terrifying, po-faced warnings about the economy. Should Scotland become independent it would start off in life in a worse financial position than the UK. When the referendum campaign first got going, there was about 30% or so of Scottish voters who seemed uncommitted to one side or another. Up for grabs. And so, to target them, the pro-Union Better Together campaign relentlessly focused on Scotland's economic weaknesses. Scotland was just too poor, too small to go it alone, so Scottish people would lose their jobs when lots of big companies hoofed it back over the border to England. Scottish pensioners would be worse off, because an independent Scotland wouldn't be able to pay them a proper pension. And, perhaps most worrying of all, it wasn't even clear what kind of currency an independent Scotland would have. The euro - no, thanks. The pound - no fear. Today in 2016, this might sound quite familiar, but this is the first time we met the phrase "Project Fear", in the Scottish referendum. When it comes to voting, getting governments you didn't vote for, I didn't vote for him, but I'm stuck with him! I just accept that's what happens in a democracy. We can use the ruble, we can use the yen, we can use the dollar,... But we're going to use sterling, Alistair. But you don't have a central bank. Now, it's still not clear whether, in the end, Project Fear actually worked, whether it tipped enough Scottish voters, right at the last moment, into sticking with the Union, but it caused an enormous backlash in Scotland. Huge resentment and anger, and Project Fear is remembered, without a great deal of affection, in Scotland to this day. As the campaigns went on, the warnings got darker. A vote for Yes is a huge risk, a huge risk to jobs, to the currency and our national health service. And it went on and on, even though many within the No camp didn't think it was working. It was absolutely appalling, and I was regularly telling George Osborne to stop running a negative campaign, to stop telling the Scots that they were too wee and too poor to run their own affairs, that they couldn't have the pound. It simply wasn't credible. And we started off in that campaign with only 28% supporting independence, and we ended up with 45%. And, surprise, surprise, the thing that has astonished me, is that instead of learning from that lesson, they used the same playbook in the Brexit referendum with similarly catastrophic results, from their point of view. Many people thought, "We're not going to be bullied. "We're not going to be "frightened into this." So, for many people, that sort of weighing in of the establishment stiffened the resolve. But, equally for some people, understandably, it made them pause, and think "Hmmm." Was there a No campaign that you'd have been worried about, or frightened of that didn't happen? Yeah. The No campaign that talked about the great things about being British, the positive No campaign. I mean, I could have made a better fist of it than those who ran the No campaign made. And that is the campaign that I think we would have been much more troubled by. But they never, ever, ever got their act together to do it. Some of the economic questions in Project Fear would come back to haunt the SNP. But support for independence grew and grew. And then, two weeks before polling day, an opinion poll suddenly put Yes Scotland in the lead. NEWSREADER: Supporters of Scottish independence say they are optimistic that the referendum will produce a majority in favour of leaving the United Kingdom. NEWSREADER: Their leaders say they're encouraged by the first mainstream opinion poll to put them narrowly ahead. NEWSREADER: A YouGov poll for the Sunday Times suggests that a narrow majority of Scottish voters is now in favour of leaving the UK. I can vividly remember on the day, how much that poll utterly shocked Westminster politicians. You could virtually feel the British state rocking on its foundations. I was on the golf course. I was in the Castle Stuart golf course, because I was trying to have the occasional game of golf to stay sane. And I said, "Oh, dear." Because I knew, immediately, that the Saturday I wanted to be ahead was the Saturday before poll, not the ten, 11 days. That gave time for the reaction to kick in. Yeah. As we were expecting, and as I knew there would be. But, you know, there we were, gradually advancing, you know, from the 28% where we started towards 50%, knowing that we had to get there just at the right moment. And to get there at the right moment was the moment where it was too late for our opponents in their complacency in their self-satisfaction, to react. But shortly after that YouGov poll, another political beast emerged from his lair in Fife. Gordon Brown, still a big figure in Scotland, wanted to make the case for the Union with both passion and vigour while still remaining a proper Scot. We are proposing that over the next few months we agree a programme that the Scottish Parliament should have increased powers, in welfare, in social and economic policy, and in finance. We are also proposing that there is a timetable for delivery. So, immediately the referendum is over on September the 19th, we start the process of new laws to enhance the powers of the parliament. These are big changes that we are proposing. To strengthen the Scottish Parliament, but at the same time, to stay as part of the United Kingdom. Thank you very much. Brown wanted to tell people that voting No to independence didn't simply mean voting for the status quo. Shortly afterwards, the editor of Scotland's Daily Record contacted Brown asking him to get the party leaders in Westminster to sign a declaration on their front page, the so-called Vow, delivering new powers to the Scottish Parliament. NEWSREADER: In the heat of the campaign battle, Labour, the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats vowed that Scotland would receive more powers. I think people still feel let down that the promises that were made weren't delivered. And it's part of the reason why we continue to see support for independence, very strong, and in every poll we've seen higher than was the case on polling day itself. NEWSREADER: It's seven o'clock on Thursday the 18th of September, the headlines this morning. Polling stations are opening across Scotland. The date of the Scottish referendum is now marked indelibly on many Scottish minds. NEWSREADER: A record turnout is expected as 97% of the electorate has registered to vote. NEWSREADER: We'll be here through the night to bring you the announcement from each of the 32 counts across Scotland, and the final tally that will decide if it is Yes or No to independence. As soon as the first results started coming in, it was clear what the final vote would be. I was campaigning in Glasgow, and we did win in Glasgow, so I was high as a kite, convinced we were going to win. The point at which I realised it was unlikely we were going to win overall was the one that came in from Clackmannanshire. Ladies and gentlemen, could I have your attention please... You know, that, probably, was a realisation that hit me about one o'clock, two o'clock in the morning. No, 19,000... CHEERING Clackmannan, the wee county, is a barometer, certainly of the battle between Labour and the SNP. So Clackmannan was the first result in, and when that went against, then it was very difficult to see how differential voting in the cities could take us forward, so I knew pretty early on that we were up against it. By the early hours, it was all over. A 55% victory for Better Together and agonising for nationalists who had promised this would be a once-in-a-generation choice. NEWSREADER: The people of Scotland have said No to independence. NEWSREADER: Scotland has decided to stay within the Union. Politics and Scotland will never be the same again. My colleagues and I will play our part in bringing our country together to demonstrate that, after this vote, we can remain united. Scotland has, by majority, decided not, at this stage, to become an independent country. I accept that verdict of the people, and I call on all of Scotland to follow suit in accepting the democratic verdict of the people of Scotland. With Scotland voting no, it seemed the Union had been saved, and very soon David Cameron came to speak at the lectern outside Number Ten. I was on the phone to him just before he came sauntering out. He told me he was going out to make a statement, nothing at all about what he was going to do. Good morning. The people of Scotland have spoken. And it is a clear result. They have kept our country of four nations together. And, like millions of other people, I am delighted. David Cameron was the victor, but he was already thinking about the pressures within his own party, and from Ukip. With the Scottish Parliament now due to receive more powers, he wanted to wrench the spotlight back to England, and English MPs. But I have long believed that a crucial part missing from this national discussion is England. I was in a room with Alex and we sat there watching David Cameron make his statement outside Downing Street, completely dumbfounded. We've heard the voice of Scotland, and now the millions of voices of England must also be heard. Well, that's Scotland back in its box, now let's talk about English votes for English laws! And what that said to people in Scotland was, you know, "See all these promises I made you during the referendum campaign? "Forget about them." The question of English votes for English laws, "the so-called West Lothian question, "requires a decisive answer." I told David Cameron that it was a huge mistake to announce new constitutional reform which, frankly, had been thought up on the hoof. Thank you very much. And good morning. It obviously was a huge political mistake by David Cameron, but an enormous political opportunity for the SNP. Now, you might have thought that after losing the referendum, the Yes campaign would be slightly deflated and the SNP would lose support. Exactly the opposite happened. Whether out of remorse or defiance, or mere cussedness, people flocked to the SNP. A week after that result, the SNP had doubled its membership, and today, even though Scotland has only five million people, the SNP is the third largest political party in the UK. And in the following British general election, the 45% who'd voted yes gave a massive surge to the SNP. Well, let's have a look at what the SNP are doing. The damage they're doing to Labour. Look at that. It is right up, it's almost breaking our swing-o-meter. 27%. The nationalists won all but three of the Westminster seats in Scotland. Scottish politics was moving apart from the rest of Britain. What, of course, the referendum did was to turn the question of whether or not Scotland should become independent, into the central defining issue of Scottish electoral politics. Now, 45% isn't enough to win a referendum, but 45% is certainly enough to win a parliamentary election. Crucially, around 85% to 90% of those people who voted Yes in September 2014 were now, basically, determined to carry on voting for the SNP in future elections, even if previously they'd voted for Labour or for somebody else. So, Scotland now voted differently. And a year later, the Brexit vote simply underlined that difference. Shall we now just have a look at the story of what happened in this referendum? Yes, David, let's go back to the maps. And you can see here on the floor, the map of the UK, as the colours came in during the night. So, blue for Leave and yellow for Remain. And in the end it wasn't enough. Scotland, Northern Ireland and London voting for Remain. A negotiation with the European Union will need to begin under a new Prime Minister. Now the decision has been made to leave, we need to find the best way. It was a truly historic turning point. At Westminster, our Prime Minister resigned, leaving the UK in an awkward period of transition. While up in Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon seized the moment and almost immediately started pushing - forget once in a generation - for a second Scottish independence referendum. The Scottish Parliament should have the right to hold another referendum if there is a significant and material change in the circumstances that prevailed in 2014, such as Scotland being taken out of the EU against our will. 'I think it certainly strengthens 'the democratic case for independence.' That's what I said the morning after the referendum, nothing has happened to make me change my mind. 'You know, if we cast our minds back to the 2014 referendum. 'One of the central arguments of the No campaign was the fact' that independence, according to them, would put our membership of the European Union in peril. They said that was a key reason to vote No. Fast forward less than two years, and we find ourselves on the brink of being taken out of the European Union, notwithstanding the fact that a majority who voted, and 32 out of 32 local authorities, voted to stay in. So, clearly, that opens up a gaping democratic deficit. So what does this Scottish difference mean? There seems to be less fear of immigration in Scotland, and perhaps Scotland, because of her history, has always felt more comfortably European. But if the politics of a second Scottish referendum excite nationalists, the economic implications were, and are, much tougher for them. Once upon a time, Scotland's economic outlook was very rosy indeed. Ships were built here in their thousands, steel was forged, coal was mined, new technologies invented. The old industries may now have faded, but then, after the 1970s, the really big money came from North Sea oil. This is the Cromarty Firth on the north-east coast. A deepwater, sheltered estuary long used by the Royal Navy, shipping and, now, the oil and gas industries. For a handful of decades, oil was the great change maker in British politics. The volume and the price of Brent crude seemed to matter more than any pronouncements by prime ministers or anything in a Queen's Speech. If you look back at history, every great power system has left its monuments, its relics. The Egyptian pharaohs left the Pyramids, the English monarchy left its great castles scattered across Wales and Scotland. And in a very similar way, moored in the Cromarty Firth, huge and hulking and massively impressive, but no longer wanted - big oil has left behind her floating citadels. My guide on this trip around the dosing leviathans of the Cromarty Firth is the chief executive of its Port Authority, Bob Buskie. Bob, you call this a cold stacked rig, what is a cold stacked rig? A cold stacked rig is a rig that's come off contract as a consequence of the low oil price. So it's come in here to take shelter. The Port Authority will look after it when it's here, but it's basically demobilised. It's de-manned. There's nothing happening. There's nobody on it, it's just a rusting hunk of steel? Can you judge the state of the oil market by the number of these things that are towed into the Cromarty Firth? Yeah, you certainly can, Andrew. When the price gets depressed, the way it's been over the last 18 months, what you see is a pull-back in development in the North Sea, a pull-back in exploration drilling, a pull-back in appraisal drilling. So, generally, what will happen is these rigs will come off contract and they would be stored here in the Firth until the market recovers. To the south-east of the Cromarty Firth, is the centre of the Scottish oil industry - the Granite City of Aberdeen. Back in the day, Aberdeen was a kind of sober, douce city of intellect and academia, a bit of fishing, but above all - respectable and quiet. But ever since the discovery of oil in the 1970s, Aberdeen has been transformed. It's become Scotland's boom town. And the symbol of the huge change in the Scottish economy, and then the Scottish economic argument that oil brought. Jim Simpson was a whisky salesman before the boom broke. He drives an imported Lincoln Continental, which doesn't even raise an eyebrow in a city which has had to get used to quick money. But all this has changed. The North Sea oil industry has collapsed. Businesses are closing, properties in the city centre lie vacant, and unemployment in the oil industry has soared. I think there's a realisation now that the golden goose is no more. We had 450,000 jobs, now, that's across the UK, more than half the jobs are actually outside Scotland. So, very large employer, we think it's now down to about 380,000. That's a big, big reduction. The global oil price was, relatively recently, as high as $110 a barrel. After the referendum, it fell to a low of $30, and since then it's only risen a bit. Today, it's $48 a barrel, but it has been slowly climbing. I think it will vary up and down a bit. I think 2016 will be a bad year, it will be a very tough year. There'll be a lot more jobs lost, because we are still going through a very difficult phase. Before the collapse in oil prices, its revenue helped balance the gap between Scottish tax income and public spending. Oil and gas revenues have always been much more important to Scotland than to the UK as a whole. The issue for Scotland is that those revenues have gone down from over ten billion a year, just four or five years ago, to essentially nothing. This inevitably means that, for Scotland to go independent, it's in an even less strong fiscal position than it would have expected to have been two or three years ago. In August 2016, the GERS figures, that's Government Expenditure and Revenue Scotland to you and me, were published, revealing that the collapse in oil tax revenues had pushed Scotland's deficit to nearly £15 billion. You know, I get very frustrated, and I'm sure there's a lot of people who feel the same, who, you know, hear people who describe the status quo in economic terms for Scotland as somehow an argument against independence. I've never argued, and I never will argue that independence is some kind of panacea. But I believe the best way to deal with these challenges, to face up to these challenges and, fundamentally, to make sure that we realise the vast potential of our economy, is to be in charge of the decisions that shape it. And that is the very essence of my lifelong support for independence. But to prepare for independence, you do need an economic plan. If you rely simply on the revenues of Scotland, you are most likely to have less money to spend. Therefore, the first rule of independence has to be that you accept an economic shock... of some dimension. It may not be that bad, but until someone takes the trouble to investigate it seriously, and we discuss that, the case is dead. So, to put it brutally, can Scotland survive economically without North Sea oil? Well, there are other things happening in the Cromarty Firth, ships delivering blades for Scotland's new wind farms. And when I was there, there was even a gigantic cruise ship dropping off tourists to visit the landscape, play golf and buy whisky. The cruise ship market is absolutely booming around the world, and ships like this coming into Invergordon contribute at least £10 million a year to the Scottish economy. But here's the thing. This ship was built in Venice. Now Venice has been making beautiful ships since the 1300s, and still is. In the 19th century, Scotland was responsible, through the Clyde, for more than half the ships on the world's seas. But these days, Scotland has lost that great, hard-edged engineering exporting tradition. So I think the question for the future is - can Scotland re-gain that place as a sharp-elbowed, hard-working, inventive, highly educated, aggressive country, going out to grab export markets, that we always were in the past? Or is it becoming, frankly, a little bit flabby? Scots do need to remember just how good we used to be at so many industries. And if Scotland became independent, we need to build a new economy, not dependent upon oil. That's not an option, it is utterly essential. So how do we escape from an unbalanced economic position over reliant on particular sectors and commodities and produce again, a more diverse, stable, structured economy, which will be safer and better for our children and do that, from, what is, let's be frank, a position of relative weakness? One place where the Scottish economy is being reinvented is here, Dundee. The city is virtually unrecognisable from the dark, black, industrial seaport I remember when I was growing up. Dundee is still filled with old factories and warehouses, but many of them are now home to a relatively new and extremely lucrative industry - video games. Chris van der Kuyl, one of the city's leading entrepreneurs, is developing an old cattle shed on the waterfront. What's behind me in the next 12 months is going to transform into one of the most exciting digital media and commercial spaces in the city. The dramatic change in the use of home video games, digital media, new technology businesses, I think, is a very apt metaphor for what's going on in Dundee at the moment. Video games make a titanic amount of money, it's the kind of industry that might help support a newly independent Scotland. The video game market is absolutely massive. The last numbers I've seen were fast approaching $100 billion of value globally. And it is utterly remarkable. I was once quoted as saying I thought the games industry could make, you know, the oil, the North Sea oil industry look like a drop in the ocean. Actually, that was before the oil price hit where it is today. So I probably feel that even more strongly. Van der Kuyl's company is a developer for the hugely successful Minecraft, a game in which you construct imaginary worlds out of tiny blocks. 4J Studios is best known for being the developer of Minecraft on games consoles. We released a game four years ago, and it's gone on to be the bestselling game on the Xbox, ever. And it's starting to obliterate all kinds of records. They've even built a Minecraft version of Dundee. So you can see, we've used Minecraft to try and give everybody an impression of what Dundee's going to be like. We'll start to walk along into the waterfront now. And see the spectacular new VA museum. It's going to be pretty cool. There are many other new industries that might help Scotland to survive the initial shock of independence. 'In Glasgow, they may have closed many of the old shipyards 'on the Clyde, but inside the huge warehouses 'they are using cutting-edge technology to 'build Royal Naval warships.' Wind farms may seem to disfigure classically beautiful, rural Scotland, but they bring jobs, they help replace the oil industry, and though Scotland lacks many things, wind isn't one of them. The prospect of Scottish independence is complicated even further by the Brexit vote. I used to think for the UK to vote to leave the EU, while Scotland took a different path, 'made a second independence referendum almost inevitable. 'Right now, that feels a bit less certain.' The implications of Brexit, economically, socially, culturally, I think are potentially severe. So I've said, and continue to say, that my priority in this context is to seek to protect Scotland's interests, independence is one possible way in which I think we could protect Scotland's interests, but at this stage I'm exploring all options to do that. So what are the options facing Nicola Sturgeon? In an ideal world, Brussels would treat Scotland as an independent country. Scotland hasn't voted to leave the EU, therefore Scotland can stay when the rest of the UK leaves. Now, this is very attractive to a lot of Scottish nationalists. It's quite reassuring, perhaps, to Scottish voters. But there is a basic problem. As you may have noticed, at the moment, Scotland is not an independent country. The EU would have to break some of its own basic rules to make that happen. But these rules have been broken before. Given we're in unprecedented circumstances, no country has ever tried to leave the European Union before. We know from other scenarios, within the European Union, that there has been a flexible approach taken by Europe in the past. We can seek to explore whether there are differential outcomes, or solutions for Scotland within a UK context. And, of course, we can, as a country, decide to consider whether independence allows us best to protect those interests. 'Second possibility is that Scotland votes' to leave the UK and, as an independent country, joins the queue to try and join the EU again. If we think this through, there are obvious problems. To be part of the EU, Scotland would almost certainly have to accept free movement of people, but with Scotland sharing a landmass with England, where they voted against mass migration, wouldn't this mean we'd see fences and customs posts going up along the border? Most people in Scotland are very intelligent and very thoughtful, and they ask themselves, "Well, what's the choice here?" Staying in a UK that you, maybe, don't much like, or going into a, you know, eurozone, because all new members have to go into the eurozone, with everything that entails. And, you know, if you had the free movement of people in Scotland and not in England, you have to have a border. You know, as sure as night follows day. ARCHIVE: 'I'm a political journalist, 'travelling around the country for a book on whether, and if so, when, 'Britain has died.' 'The idea of a hard border does feel a little familiar, 'because 16 years ago I made a series for the BBC 'looking at globalisation, 'the EU, and Scottish devolution.' VOICEOVER: 'Imagine for a moment that Britain has fallen apart.' Back then, to illustrate Scottish independence, we built a fake border post between Scotland and England and were savagely criticised for being ridiculously alarmist. Today, plenty of grown-up politicians are talking about it as a hard possibility, even if Nicola Sturgeon herself is very dismissive. And I've heard Theresa May and other UK politicians being very categoric that they're not prepared to see a hard border between Ireland...the Republic of Ireland and the North of Ireland. If these issues can be resolved in that context, then there is no reason for anybody to make the argument that, somehow, we are going to have hard borders between Scotland and the rest of the UK. Then there is, of course, the double out option. That is - Scotland leaves the EU with the rest of the UK, and then Scotland leaves the UK. Scotland going it alone, with her own currency and her own economy, in a wider world, as a small country, completely independent. I don't think it's likely, but we have to include it as a possible option. Well, there is no doubt there is an element of support for the SNP, and support for independence in Scotland that, frankly, doesn't want anything to do with either London or with Brussels. And it certainly looks on all the polling evidence that around a third or so of those people who would vote Yes to an independence referendum, who voted Yes back in September 2014, actually voted to leave the European Union. But I think the truth is, that prospect, the idea of an independent Scotland outside the UK and outside the European Union, well, frankly, it's not something that the vast majority of SNP parliamentarians are going to be willing to campaign for. But what we're sort of skirting around here is the small matter of a second Scottish independence referendum. If the SNP decides to go for it, they've got some tricky problems over timing. Nicola Sturgeon is still keeping all her options very open, but she said she'd want to call one before the UK Brexit. Look, I'm, at the moment, I've said what I've said. I think an independence referendum is likely here and I think the logic would be, if it is coming about because of Brexit, that it's in the period before the UK leaves. But we don't know when that is going to start, that two-year period is going to start. We don't yet know whether that two-year period will both see the UK leave the EU and negotiate its new relationship, or whether that two years will just be for Brexit. So there are so many unanswered questions for the UK as a whole right now. The SNP won't want to push the euro or a hard border on the Scots any time soon. But they can't wait for too long either. Politics runs in cycles, all parties eventually become too settled, too complacent, and before they know it, too unpopular. That happened to the Scottish Conservative and Unionists 60 years ago, it happened to Labour, and it may well yet happen to the SNP as well. And in the Scottish Parliamentary elections of 2016, the Nationalists did lose their overall majority. This goes back to party politics, and we are still, after all, a profoundly party political system. A great joy in reporting politics is that you never quite know what's going to come round the corner next. In the early months of 2016, what came round the corner in Scotland was a young, determined, feisty woman. Ruth Davidson was gay and the leader of the Scottish Tories. And she took them to a remarkable recovery in the Scottish Parliamentary elections. We shouldn't overdo it, it wasn't an SNP-style landslide, the Tories still only got 22% of the popular vote, but they more than doubled their representation in Hollyrood to 31 MSPs and became the official opposition. Which only goes to show that a mature democracy contains its own balancing mechanism against swings that are too big or go on for too long. Call it the people's gyroscope. Whatever claims the SNP were pursuing with regard to constitutional brinkmanship over the next five years, have now been utterly shredded. The Scotland that I was born in, as I say, was conservative with a small C as well as a big C. Very, very grey, male, very Presbyterian. And now it's a country where most of the leaders are gay or female or both. It's a heck of a change, culturally. Yeah, I mean, I think Scotland has changed. I mean, I'm 37 years old. When I was born you could still be prosecuted for being in a loving gay relationship, because we were so far behind other parts of the UK in terms of legalising, as it was called then, homosexuality. We've come a really long time, even in my lifetime. Now, you had a great success. You have started to bring the Conservative Party back in Scotland. You did that by fighting that election and very much, "As the Unionist party, "we will be the opposition to the "SNP in the Scottish Parliament." In terms of how we fought this election, we absolutely put ourselves as a counterpoint to the SNP, because it's a party that's been in government for nine years, we see that there are a number of issues on which they are not making progress, or indeed, are going backwards. But they've been able to use the constitution as a way of diverting people's attention away from it. The argument that we ran is, "We will be a strong opposition. "We'll actually challenge them. "And we'll ask them to put forward better ideas." And just as striking as the re-emergence of the Scottish Tories is the catastrophic collapse of Scottish Labour. Kezia Dugdale has the hugely difficult and unenviable job of leading Scottish Labour now. It's a disaster for Labour tonight. Yes, it's a very bad night for the Labour Party. There's no question about that. I think you heard some of what I had to say when I was elected there about what I think's happened overnight. I'll have a much better sense of analysis for you over the weekend, once I've had some sleep. What's happened to the party that once reigned supreme, but has now fallen to third place in Scotland? I think the Labour Party lost contact with their roots. They resented the fact that they were not winning elections, and that they ended up with a Tory government in Labour Scotland. And so they thought that they would create a Scottish Parliament, which they thought would put them in power forever. They said the Tories didn't have a mandate, that is not a Unionist position. That is a nationalist position. And the Tories were presented as anti-Scottish. But, of course, when Labour came into power they found themselves having to take a dose of their own medicine, and they were destroyed by the nationalist tiger which they created. Brian Wilson was a Labour MP for nearly 20 years, and a minister in Tony Blair's government. The long-term achievement of nationalism is to make everything about the constitution. As long as the political dynamic is around the constitution, then it's very hard to see where the Labour Party fits into that. I mean, the Labour Party has to have a confident message, which is of progressive politics, social and economic change, redistributionism, strong leadership, confident in that argument, but saying the best way to do that is within the framework of the United Kingdom. And when you think about it, if you spend three-and-a-half years saying to people that the answer to all our problems is independence, you're not going to give up on that. You're not going to say the day afterwards, "Oh, well, you know, "we'll try something else." I just wish that we could channel some of that energy into dealing with some of the problems that Scotland has got. We still, you know, children of low-income backgrounds don't get to university in Scotland. What sort of indictment is that on us in a second decade of the 21st century? Constitutional questions are sometimes easier to debate than actually doing things that might make a difference to people. If the SNP continues to win landslides across Scotland, it will have a huge impact on politics across the UK. The British Labour Party's always relied on Scottish votes to win general elections. But with the SNP winning in Scotland and Ukip surging in many parts of England, this could see Labour collapse at Westminster, and the end of British politics as we know it. The truth is, I think, that the idea of British politics has been in decline for some time, and, frankly, doesn't exist any longer. By which one means, is there common political space and a common political argument, and an electorate that reacts in similar ways across the whole of the island of Great Britain? The truth is, that's decreasingly the case. You know, we've got different parties in government in different parts of the United Kingdom and, you know, I think this idea that there is no longer a sort of homogenous British politics is certainly one that I would hold to. Whether there ever has been, I think, is open to debate, but I think it's absolutely, unquestionably the case now that it no longer exists. So far, the most obvious party political winner in this new world has been the SNP. They've been in government for nearly ten years. But they still have to shake off accusations of being simply a party of protest and insurgency, what you might call insurgency with Scottish characteristics. They're almost opposite in their political views from Ukip, or indeed, Donald Trump. But some of the SNP's success does draw on the same deep political dissatisfaction. I find it deeply offensive when anybody tries to put the SNP or the rise in support over a long, long period of time of the SNP into the same category as Donald Trump or Ukip. Is the SNP an insurgent party? The SNP is a party that's 80 odd years old, we have, over a long, long period of time, decades, long before I was born, let alone in the SNP, we have built up a credibility and a trust of the people of Scotland. And I think people vote for the SNP, because they see the SNP as a party that stands firmly on the side of the Scottish interest. Away from the spotlight of the independence issue, the SNP also faces accusations of being too glossy an electoral machine, simply too establishment. The SNP's rise in Scotland was quite similar to the Obama campaign. Where you have intelligent politicians, skilful politicians, and they talk in platitudes of hope and all of this vague stuff. Ultimately, once power is achieved, the politicians renege on a lot of the pledges that they made. They adjust their rhetoric to appeal to a whole new audience. This idea that we have to pander to people who already have plenty of money, whose kids are all going to university for free. This idea, we need to pander to that. And that's new politics? That's not new. That's New Labour with the dial turned up! They make New Labour look like a paddle steamer. But the SNP is still firmly in the driving seat, now home rule is being talked about in London, and some kind of new deal. They have already changed the terms of debate. It could be that independence for Scotland simply never happens. There is no further referendum, there is no great constitutional crisis, things just carry on. But in that circumstance, don't forget, the Scottish political culture - different politicians, different parties, different issues, different scandals, different headlines, different media, different broadcast - remains very, very different from the politics of London. That doesn't seem to me to be particularly stable. Eventually, things will fall apart. This is the so-called independence by stealth option. It's very bad for journalists, because it's slow and gentle, but it may be the likeliest option of all. Believe this, something is going to change. Full independence, home rule inside Britain, independence by stealth, who knows? In my lifetime, Scotland has undergone an extraordinary transformation. The Nationalists have experienced a drenching baptism from outsiders and insurgents to the new Scottish status quo. But the radical dissatisfaction that brought them there isn't limited, in case you hadn't noticed, to Scotland. We are now looking at a world in which, first of all, living standards have not been advancing to any great degree ever since the financial crash. Two, where the expansion of middle-class occupations has narrowed, reduced much more, so therefore the idea that I may be in a working-class job, but my kids can go to university and they can get a good job, that is under challenge. Now, against that backdrop a lot of people basically feel that this world of international globalised capital is one that is out of control, and certainly one where they themselves don't feel they have sufficient control over their own lives and their own circumstances. All across the West, people are revolting against the insecurity, the unfairness and the sheer speed of change that modern capitalism brings. All those anonymous, technological and financial forces that seem so far above us, out of reach. Everywhere this revolt takes different forms. In America - Trump. Across Europe - those new parties of the radical right and the radical left. In England - Brexit, but also Corbynism. In Scotland - radical nationalism. But here's the problem. As we tear down the old social democratic parties, the government and the leaders, are we also destroying the only shields we might have against those very same international forces? This magnificent, powerful building, the Civic Chambers of a Glasgow that was once the second city of the Empire is an expression, in riotous marble, of the raw economic and political power this city once had. Will a new Scotland, will a different Britain, have anything like the same ability to act in the world that the old ones enjoyed? If you want to find out more about historical and contemporary Scotland, just go to the website below and follow the links to the Open University. Hey, Ken. - What's up? - You're getting skinnier on me. Yeah. Where's my money? Your friend was late four hours last week. And he's late again today. I see... go have a talk with him. The talk is happening right now. You're going nowhere until Clive gets here. # Yeah, the kids call him Conejo # # 'Cause he was fast on his feet # # And he was quick with his fists If he had trouble in the streets # # But when his old man would hit the bottle # # He'd kick Conejo's ass # # And with a wounded heart Conejo swore he'd outrun his past # # Run, Conejo, run # Never seen no speed limit on this road, Sheriff Kilbaught, so I... so I made a... a modest estimate. Never been anything modest about your modesty, Clive. This truck don't go a mile over 50, Sheriff. Now, you were driving a different truck this morning. I've been watching you the last few weeks, driving back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Now, we both know there ain't nothing in this town worth taking a second look at. Yeah. That against the law now, Sheriff? Okay, come on, out. Even your mama thinks you're a piece of shit. You don't belong here. You got me thinking. Two trucks... hauling the same junk in the same day? What's garbage like you doing with garbage like this? Come on, open her up. It's the only job I can get, seeing as how people are so damn discriminant... against those who have paid their dues. Discriminant? Hell of a word there, Clive. But it ain't your word. What did you do with the other truck, huh? You're gonna start walking... Hey. What you got there, boy? You spit that out. Spit it out! You spit that out! Huh? Come on, get up. Get up! What? Is it the stew-maker? Hear the cartel has a guy, dissolves people in acid, puts them in a barrel, makes them soup. Is that who I'm waiting for? Is it you? My job is to place a call at 7:30. And if you don't make the call? You get put on a list. And if you get put on the list... it's unfortunate. But if Clive isn't here in the next 15 minutes... soon enough, I'll be talking to a dead man. Well... If I'm already dead... You're a dead man! You ain't doing too good a job at staying gone. You know, sometimes... I can't get through an entire day without hearing all kinds of rumors getting told about you. Like what? I don't know. One of my favorite ones is the one about you getting murdered on Indian Ridge. Well, they have the decency to bury me, at least? Can't say. Don't really keep track of the rumors I didn't start. Got any rumors about me being made sheriff? Sheriff Kilbaught ain't gonna like you coming back. Well, he's gonna find he ain't got much room to argue. Maybe I don't like you coming back. You know I always told you, you deserve better than this. Marla. Welcome home, Wallace. Hey, how come that thing always stayed broken? Don't got a phone connection at my ma's old house anymore. Marla was good about looking after it, but... Use that one. You ever hear anything about me getting murdered? Yes, sir, I believe I have. - They shot you in the throat. - Throat? - Yeah. - No kidding? Heard you was mouthing off like you used to, and... somebody just shot you right there how you stood. Well, Jerry, ain't you gonna welcome me back from the dead? Asshole. Armor-piercing. - They call them "cop killers." - Why is that? On account of them killing cops. Do you need it for, like, DNA? Forensics lab is two weeks and 150 miles away from giving half a shit about this town. Bet you no one's told you that. Yeah, yeah. Yep, don't let that worry you none too much. You know, are you lonely for a car? I get lonely when I don't have a car. But I'm not lonely anymore, 'cause at Diaz Motors I've got plenty of friends. You don't got to knock. I know what you're after. Come on in. Yeah? You are scared shitless. What did you know about that? There's just the matter of this job you come to do. Six reported incidences of harassing motorists, two with brutality. Then there's you, crossing the line. No, that ain't it. It's been a long time coming, Leland, the way you've been running things. If you ain't scared of what needs to be done, then you ain't got no clue why you're here. I got sent here to replace you. Maybe a day too late, but replace you nonetheless. You got sent here because it's your punishment, Wallace. Taking your statement, is all. You fetch me some water, would you? Hmm? Hm. You have no idea what that... that boy Clive was threatening to bring. These horrible people doing immoral things, and now they're creeping across the border, threatening to make the boogeyman a real thing. It's enough to give you a good start. It'll make you want to wait for all the bad things to come get you. I don't regret what happened. Takes a willing hand to punish horrible men. They're building a case, Le. They're gonna lock you away. You come here to get my statement? Huh? Expecting me to... say I'm innocent? I was gonna make that boy walk. I was gonna put him on that back road. Leave him to the boogeyman to rip him apart, or return him to whatever ungodly dirt he came from. And if the road couldn't do it... I'd do it myself, 'cause sometimes that's just what you got to do. Well, you've done enough. Ah. Welcome home, Wallace. Asshole. Ken Mersey didn't go home last night. He's been reported missing this morning. Boys need stupid things to do. That's how their mamas wire them. Well, his mama wasn't no electrician. Explains the dim bulb. It's not like you to be so funny so early. Well... I always figured Ken Mersey liked you a whole lot more than you liked him. Maybe he just don't want to show his face. He's missing, I'm worried. It doesn't have to be so black-and-white, Lilly. For fuck's sake. All I'm saying is that... maybe he's gone because he wants to be gone. This ain't hardly about Ken, is it? This is about Wallace coming back. Hey, do you want to take care of this? Oh, Jerry, you're just aching for coffee, aren't you? Here. Drink up. There's plenty more. That's an awful shame about Kilbaught. Old Sheriff Kilbaught is a violent dinosaur going the way of his kind. - How about yourself? - I'm good on coffee. Spent a good five months figuring out smuggling routes up in Indian Ridge. Kept on hearing about... peculiarities and such. Catapults and back-alley breast implants. Even heard about a submarine once, somebody took the time to build by hand in their garage. Mm. And these brass bastards... they buy fear and panic... which makes them a whole lot cleaner than money. You can speculate all you want about where they came from... or where they're going, but the real concern here is, what's gonna happen if this bullet don't make its destination. So... you found just the one? Shit. You still alive? Someone's calling looking to speak with the sheriff! He sure rushed my gate in a hurry. I called you because the plates came back. They were registered to a used car lot over in your jurisdiction. Diaz Classics? Yeah. Showed up as stolen. I called it in. It took 40 minutes. Anyway, they chased him all the way out to the 24, lost him out there on a back road before your guy went in after him. What guy? I don't know. I couldn't flag him, but I saw him. I saw the tan uniform. I figured I'd just call your partner in the morning and check in. Was me and the old man. As of this morning, got to be just me. Dispatch, we have a code 32 off Carrion Road. Burning pretty good, by the smell of it. I think I found us Ken Mersey. What the hell happened to you, Ken? Where'd you get off to? Shit. Well, that's everyone that's come in. Closest thing to a Molotov cocktail these folks have seen is a broken air conditioner. Sorry about that, Deputy. But I don't believe your friend is here. Didn't say he was a friend. And it's Sheriff. Is Ken in there? Is he okay? Don't give me that look, Wallace. Surprising, is all. Ken Mersey is a good man. He looks after me. Oh, Wallace, stop it. What do you know about the truck? He bought it. He told me to fix it up and sell it to Shep. You know he was smuggling ammunitions across the border in that truck? - That's a lie. - Well, whatever he ain't telling you got him in trouble last night, got him confronted. By who? Still sorting that out. But whoever that may be... I ain't gonna tell you that Ken Mersey don't got his own consequences coming to him. Ah, fuck. You bring him home, Wallace. # Y tú que te creías # # El rey de todo el mundo # # Y tú que nunca fuiste # # Capáz de perdonar # # Y cruel y despiadado # # De todo te reías # # Hoy imploras... ## They got your commercial on TV up in Indian Ridge. It's 4:00 in the morning, but it's TV nonetheless. You trick-or-treating? Was wondering if you knew anything about Ken Mersey going missing. Yeah, what kind of trouble he got? The considerable kind, I guess. Ooh. Really taking yourself seriously in that uniform, ain't you? Don't mind going after an old drinking buddy like that? As far as I can see, he's under arrest. If he's still alive. How do you take your coffee? I don't. Well... No sales being had. No maintenance or repairs being had. It's just a whole lot of nothing. I haven't had a real need for Ken in the garage. - What about the stolen truck? - Trucks. He took them with. He didn't say anything. He just... went. That don't sound like him. We need more funding and more resources because it is a tremendous disadvantage for women and girls. In 2014, the coc released a report revealing that over 5.4 million men and 4.7 million women had been victims of intimate partner physical violence within the previous 12 months. But then why does the media paint domestic violence as a women's issue? Reporter} The world health organization says one in three women are abused by their partner. One in three American women experiences domestic violence or stalking at some point in her life. And when it was addressed as a men's issue, the speaker's point was that it's a men's issue because men are the problem. I'm gonna share with you a paradigm shifting perspective on the issues of gender violence. I don't see these as women's issues that some good men help out with. In fact, I'm gonna argue that these are men's issues. Why is domestic violence still a big problem in the United States and all over the world? What's going on? Why do so many men abuse physically, emotionally, verbally, and in other ways, the women and girls, and the men and boys that they claim to love? What's going on with men? Let's Grant every single empirical case as being true. Yes, it is true. Let's just say... I mean, it is not true, but let's just assume that there is gender symmetry in domestic violence, that women hit men as much as men hit women. If I were to say that, I would say, therefore, we need boatloads more funding for domestic violence to develop shelters and adequate interventions, 'cause there's this hidden epidemic of men who are being beaten up by women. Or, I could say, as the men's rights movement do, therefore, we shouldn't have these shelters and we shouldn't fund them because the women are all lying. Well, it seems to me, that if you really believe in gender symmetry, you're not questioning the number of women. You're just saying the number of men is... You would want to join with women who are antmolence to say we have a real problem here. It's not even a gender problem. It's a problem of women hitting men and men hitting women. We've gotta get boatloads more funding. Let's work together. That seems the logical response to this. But instead they're saying, it's like a zero sum game. If we fund the women, then we're gonna ignore the men. Well, we're not... we're not gonna ignore the women, 'cause we all agree that the levels are as high as we say. [Lkyel but 1t does sound like a zero sum game when only women are recemng services in domestic violence situations. And of all the men's rights actmsts I've met, none of them question the number of female victims. But they are calling attention to the high number of male victims that are being dismissed. So why aren't men's rights actmsts and feminists working together? Michael kimmel briefly said something that made me wonder. He said it would no longer be a gender problem if both men and women were equally victims of domestic violence. Is that why the number of male victims are never addressed? To me, it's been fraud for all these years. Why is it we have this enormously powerful feminist movement and virtually nothing for men? Originally, it was capitalism was the big enemy in the '60s and '70s. And 1t was the radical feminists 1n America that moved the goal post. They said, no, it's no longer capitalism is the enemy. The enemy is patriarchy... Or men. And that's how the women's movement began, and it was enormously successful. The new mood in the refuges was gonna be that no man could work in refuges, and can't today. They can't sit on the boards. And boys over 9, or possibly 12, can't so into refuges. You call them shelters. Their mothers have to make other arrangements for them, which I find shocking. And it ring-fenced money. I think that that particular time when the feminist movement were desperate for funding 'cause they'd run out of publicity... They were desperate for funding and they needed a just cause. And, unfortunately, it fell into their laps. It's an enormous industry. 1 mean, "violence against women," they get something like... Well, it's a billion and over a year. Hmm. And an awful lot of that goes on, really, supposedly rehabilitating men, but essentially punishing them with something that's called the duluth model. Duluth power and control. Well, you guys know about that? - No. - I'll give you a copy. In 1977, I think, a bunch of crazy women up in duluth, Minnesota, figured out they had the solution to domestic violence and it was all about patriarchy and all about men. It's the duluth power and control wheel, 'cause men are all about power and control. Of course, not you ladies. You guys, you don't control anything. You have no power. You're just sweet and innocent little things. Okay, so this power and control wheel is dmded up in all these things, you know, about who does this and who does that, and blah, blah, blah. And of course, it's all men. The entire domestic violence industry was founded on that. I think it's still 37 or 32 states in the United States that by law they have to use the duluth model for batter intervention program. It's all shame, blame, and guilt driven. If you're a man and you walk in, you must admit you did it up front or you're in denial. There's no debate. There's no discussion. There's no possibility that you could be falsely accused, the criminal justice system could've made a mistake. None whatsoever. You are in a state of denial, and you will complete that course or you're gonna go to jail. You will be reengineered. That's frightening. - Frightening? - Yes, that's frightening. I think it's terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. All I had to do, I had a simple choice. I could just say, "yes, you're right. Men are the enemy." No problem. But I couldn't. I absolutely couldn't. Just getting overwhelmed, because... I don't know... Where I'm headed with what I believe, and what is right and what is wrong, and who is wrong and who is right and... The truth is somewhere in the middle and that's why I'm feeling frustrated, because... I don't know where the truth is, and I don't know... When I decided to make a film on the men's rights movement, I never anticipated questioning my feminist views. But the more mras I met, the more I felt compelled to remind myself why I was a feminist. I signed up for a women's group. Welcome to our "women, own your power" workshop. Only four percent of the fortune 50d companies are led by women. Women only hold about 14°/o of corporate executive positions and less than 20°/o of our governmental positions. I made video diaries complaining about how I had to change what I wore to walk alone at night, how much time it took me to get ready for work, all the housekeeping that was on my shoulders. In comparison to other gender issues, these videos seem trmal, but I made them nonetheless. I attended women's rights rallies. No to violence. That's what we are here for, to say no more to violence in any form, especially against women and girls. I repeated women's issues in my head like a broken record... Female genital mutilation, sex trafficking, reproductive rights, maternity leave, and social media helped remind me of women's issues. We have fought for everybody's else's equal rights. It's our time to have wage equality once and for all, and equal rights for women in the United States of America. We are struggling for a uniting word. But the good news is that we have a uniting movement. It is called "he for she." Whenever I hear the mras' point of view about how difficult it is for them, I immediately go to, well, what about us? What is like for us? And then I get on the defensive and want to make sure that women's struggles are also heard. And I don't know if that's necessary, because the mras are saying that the feminist perspective is the mainstream perspective. But even when I hear their issues, I still want to speak up for the women because I feel like... I don't know. I feel like talking about one gender's issues now neglects the other, and I guess that's what mras have been dealing with is always hearing about women's issues and feeling like their issues are neglected. But whenever 1 hear them talk about men's issues, I feel like I need to stand up for women and say, "this is what we're dealing with, an equal opposite." 1 met with men's rights actmst Karen straughan late one night in a noisy bar. She became well known for her YouTube videos talking about male disposability and other men's rights issues, and she's a honey badger. Part of what I do, what I research, and what I think about is the reason psychologically why feminism seems to be such a comfortable warm blanket emotionally for so many people, men and women alike. And it's so comfortable that it will make them not see things that are right in front of their face. Look at boko haram. Hundreds of young girls fast asleep in their beds are awakened by the sound of gunfire. Armed attackers have stormed their boarding school and set fire to dozens of buildings. Nearly 300 of them are dragged from their dorm, loaded on to trucks, and carried away deep into the forest. Mevoanaa} ... From New York to London rallied yesterday demanding that the terrorist group boko haram bring back our girls. It just gets to the core of you. This unconscionable act was committed by a terrorist group determined to keep these girls from getting an education. And what happened in Nigeria was not an isolated incident. It is a story we see every day, as girls around the world risk their lives to pursue their ambitions. I mean, you must have heard about all of that, right? That's being spun as a fundamentalist islamic group that is so determined to be misogynistic and oppress girls that they want to deny girls an education. But they are not against girls being educated. They're against anybody getting a western secular or Christian education. The initial attacks, and there were several of them, there was one... there were over a hundred men killed and one woman killed. And the victims were described as "people," right? Or "villagers." And in the previous attacks on the schools, they actually let the girls go. They separated out the boys and the girls and they let the girls go, and they told them, "go home, get married," renounce your sins, "and live a righteous life under Allah," right? And then they burned the boys alive. There was literally no outrage. It was barely reported on. It was one of those things, there was no opinion pieces on it, no nothing, right? Until the girls were kidnapped. And look at it this way, because we played right into their hands. Because they want attention, right? And they weren't getting any attention from the western media when they were just slaughtering boys. - Yeah. - Right? They want attention. And what do they do? They kidnap girls and sell them into marriage or slavery, right? And everybody... the u.N., Michelle Obama, Barack Obama, the u.K. Government, the Canadian federal minister of defense, they're all promising aid and help and equipment and personnel to help find these girls and bring them back, because this is such an outrage, and, "oh, my goodness, something needs to be done." Well, maybe if, like, last year, maybe if we did something then, all of these girls would be safe 1n their dorms right now, right? But we didn't. And the reason why they kidnapped those girls is because we didn't do anything. We didn't pay attention, and they want attention. And they know that attacking girls or women is gonna get them attention. What are we gonna do? Start a campaign, "bring back our boys"? Oh, wait, they're dead. Never mind, right? The men... The people in boko haram, they're chivalrous. If those girls were boys, they wouldn't be getting education, they'd be dead. They wouldn't be sold into slavery with the hope of escape. They'd be dead. Boko haram has been fighting for islamic rule in Nigeria since 2002. Its members have killed hundreds of people. At least 69 dead, although some reports put the number at about 150 and scores more injured. One of the most important things the men's movement is doing is being able to say men need compassion and men deserve compassion. And to have that happen, I'm not expecting it in my lifetime. It's an ocean of pain out there. This stuff we're talking about has been going on for so long, and nobody listens, nobody cares. It's one thing when you look at what happens to women and you feel normal healthy outrage about it, and that should happen. But when you can look at what's happening in our courts to men, in our medical establishment to men, in our schools to men, and yet we remain so cerebral about all of it, yes, well, that is certainly something to consider. If it were happening to any other group, we would be having protests from coast to coast. And the fact is that it is happening to men every day right in front of our eyes, and people will get angry at you if you try to talk about it. That's how deep the prejudice runs. But there have been protests, not with the intention of shining light on men's issues, but rather with the goal of silencing any discussion of men's issues. Like at Ottawa university, when professor Janice flamengo attempted to give a lecture that questioned the feminist narrative. We'll take a moment until we enforce some decorum in the room. So you think this is a victory? What are you so frightened of... Yeah, why are you so frightened of hearing an opinion different from your own? Then there was the first international conference on men's issues in Michigan, where even "Ms. magazine" urged its readers to protest the conference in hopes of shutting it down. But perhaps the most well known protest of a pro men's rights event happened in April, 2013, at the university of Toronto, when the Canadian association for equality hosted a discussion titled "from misogyny and misandry to intersexual dialogue." Fuck the patriarchy! Women hold up half the sky! Women hold up half the sky! Women hold up half the sky! Women hold up half the sky! A feminist group protesting the event illegally pulled the fire alarm and successfully shut down the event. Okay, let's go. We got a fire alarm! Once outside the lecture hall, feminist protesters and men's rights actmsts got to speak face to face. So, number one. Number one! Shut the fuck up for a second. Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy. Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women... This is a list of the things that we're working toward. Now if you would shut the fuck up for the 50th billionth time... These are things we agree on, actually. These are things that we're agreeing on, and these are things you've all got skewed fucking views on. You think that feminists are trying to take away your fucking rights, but as a matter of fact, what we're trying to do 1s we're actually trying to work on the same things that you're working on, except the fact that you're so... You're just too busy hating women... You're a fucking hate group. You can't see we're trying to work on those same situations. Are you conflating feminism, which is an ideology, with women, which is a demographic of society? Okay, mister derailing for dummies. So, really, your hatred is for feminists. - You're still a hate group. - An ideology, yes. I hate also hate a lot of other "isms". - So you admit, though. - Racism, sexism. Oh, bullshit, bullshit. Bullshit, you hate sexism, but you're an mra. Okay, no. Point taken. We... like, we win. You obviously haven't read our literature. Sorry. Okay! You don't actually work on anything. You're creating any change in the fucking world. Your website, your fucking website, the hate website against feminists... You're not actually creating any change. Feminists do not want you to have to make alimony payments. Alimony is set up to combat the fact that women have been historically expected to prioritize domestic duties over professional goals, thus minimizing their earning potential if their traditional marriages end. I'm right here. You don't have to yell. I'm reading, fuckface. - It's for the fucking camera. - I'm trying to fucking... I'm letting everyone else hear it, okay? It's not just for you, mister entitled. The assumption that wives should... Why do you think the men's rights movement is at odds with feminism? What has created that clash, that war between each other? Well, one, feminism has spent the last 50 years demonizing men, which 1s sort of one of the problems. Feminist scholars have characterized men as inherently violent, inherently bad, inherently predatory, inherently oppressive. They have postulated that masculinity is a disease. Feminists aren't the only problem. The problems didn't start with feminism. So when I start criticizing feminism, 1 want you to know you're just part of the problem. They're just part of the problem. You calling men oppressors and women oppressed demonizes men, and I believe diminishes women at the same time. It's a way of telling men to shut up. It's a way of telling men that their experiences don't matter. You tell a man he's prmleged, therefore, anything he's gone through or anything he has to say doesn't matter. His lived experiences don't matter because he's prmleged. So how old were you when you started calling yourself a feminist? Or how many years ago? It was probably, about three years agc, I guess you can say. I'm relatively new, yeah. But I'm pretty loud, so... Silence only helps the oppressor, not the oppressed. A lot of mras say that feminism doesn't fight for the rights of men. What would you say to that? Cry me a river, really, because feminism is a movement about the discrepancies when it comes to women's equality. Because we're not up. We're still not there yet. You know, don't even start with that whole "oh, but you don't think about the men's issue." Well, then you know what? Start your own goddamn movement, which they have, but maybe make 1t a little more about legitimate issues like custody and alimony and things that you think are unequal, which all stem from patriarchy, not from, "oh, my god", feminists are trying to take away our kids." No, dipshit. That's not what we're trying to do. We're not trying to do that. I mean, if they look at the root causes of why, for example, women get custody more often than men do, women are supposed to be the mothers. They're supposed to be the natural born caregivers. So, obviously, duh, you has a vagina, so, obviously, you're gonna be able to take care of the kiddies. That's really what it is. It all stems from sexism against women. It's just, the oppression dialectic needs to go. It's so hard to convince people to look at men's rights actmsm and support it without first allowing them to at least escape the stranglehold that feminism has on their minds. I do believe it is dogma. It's zealotry. There are good people in the feminist movement. Um... There are not good people in the radical feminist movement. Um... That system is based on hate, and hate... in my opinion, hate's the most destructive force in the world. They're so quick to call us man-haters or misandrists. Misandry for life. No. They're so quick to say that, when all we're doing is talking about patriarchal societies and structures that we want to dismantle. Nothing against men in particular, but just saying, hey, this is the system that we live in and this puts men above women. And it's not necessarily their fault, but, hey, recognize what's happening here and let's work together to dismantle it. The omnipotent, ever-present patriarchy, the invisible force that directs all of our lives, right? And causes all oppression and all suffering, right? Our devil. And the beautiful, wonderful force for justice... Feminism, the way. It's the way. It sounds like religion. It sounds like religion. And, oh, my goodness, for a moment that's only about equality and isn't blaming of men, they named the force for evil after men and the force for justice after women. They're really angry, and they're angry at women, they're angry at feminist women. Yes, men have gotten a crappy deal, but it's not the fault of women or gay people. When feminism says that they have no part in any of this, I think they're not being honest about it. I don't blame feminism for all of it, but I think they've had a role in it. They've written laws that discriminate against men. They've fought to protect those laws, particularly in domestic violence areas. And for many, many years, second wave feminism would go through the statutes and change everything that was gender specific to something gender neutral unless it was something that benefited women, like the domestic violence laws. They didn't change those. Other types of areas, like fathers in prison, there are statutes that specifically give mothers certain benefits that fathers in prison don't have. And I challenged that as well, legally, but we didn't win on that one. When I wanted to get a commission on men like the county has a commission on women, the feminists fought that tooth and nail. When prop 209 was before the California voters, which was to end affirmative action, every feminist organization opposed it. Every time men's rights groups try to pass joint custody legislation, feminist groups fight them. They fought us on paternity fraud. The biggest opposition that I have faced has been from the radical feminists that said, "we don't want truth to be the standard." Because if we did, they wouldn't oppose automatic DNA testing at birth. And in countries like France, they're saying, "well, DNA should mean 'do not ask,"' 'cause it's now illegal to even get a test. And if you get a test without the mother's permission, you will be criminally prosecuted. In sweden, they tried to create a man tax. In India, the men's rights movement is trying to get the rape laws to include male victims, and the feminist groups apparently are fighting that. I'm not saying all feminists are this way. But I think the ones who are affecting public policy, who have the lobbying power, I think they are. If you just look at their actions, they don't want equality for women. They want special prmleges for women and girls. And even though they know in a lot of areas men do not have equality, they are silent. The commander of the marine corps said that he thinks, and I quote, " all eligible and qualified men and women "should register for the draft," talking about selective service. Do you think women should also have to register for selective service like men? I have to think about whether I think it's necessary to go as far as our military officers are recommending. The idea of having everybody register concerns me a little bit, unless we have a better idea of where that's gonna come out. Where I want people to register, I want every young person to register at the age of 18 to be able to vote automatically. And I think if... What's the motivation? People don't ask, what's the motivation? Do we need a men's rights moment? No. We need common sense. But if there's gonna be this woman's movement and this is the movement that's gonna do all these things, then maybe we need a counterbalance, something called a men's rights movement, or men's movement. I hate to see either one of them. I think it's a shame. I think it's destructive. I'm hearing what the men's rights actmsts are saying. And I'm finding the sources to support what they're saying. Men are just as likely to be victims of intimate partner physical violence. Men have little to no control over their parental destiny, especially when he's tricked into fatherhood or he's raising a child that he later finds out isn't his. The sentencing disparity between men and women is six times larger than the sentencing disparity between blacks and whites. So while a black man may be sentenced to ten percent more prison time for the same crime as a white man, a man is sentenced to over 60°/o more prison time than a woman arrested for the same crime. Boys are falling behind in education. They are enrolling at lower rates and earning less college degrees. And while not all mras agree on the issue of infant male circumcision, most mras do believe it is a human rights violation. I spent months learning about infant male circumcision, but it only took me watching a five-minute medical training video to convince me this is a barbaric practice that needs to stop. Okay, so first thing, make sure he's well restrained. So the foreskin. Okay? And we repeat the process with just one end on and clamp. Anything that gets clamped gets cut. All that was left, a partial penis and his tiny testicles. Rhodes says Ashton urinates through a hole in his penis. She says she can't imagine now what she'll say to her son when he's old enough to understand what's happened to him. How could you explain it to your child that you don't have a penis or you might never be able to have kids? Yes, men are the majority of workplace deaths and injuries, war deaths, suicides. They have a shorter life expectancy. Warren Farrell makes the argument that prostate cancer and breast cancer mortality rates are similar, but funding disproportionately supports breast cancer research and awareness over prostate cancer. The red pill is about looking at these issues in an honest way, even when it's uncomfortable. And these things are uncomfortable. But without the willingness to set aside the programming and to set aside the false beliefs about what power 1s and what women are and who women are... Part of what we do is a pretty serious critique of both sexes. It's brutal. But critiquing the sexes is a real valuable thing. Feminists don't want you to do it, though, unless you're portraying women as the victim and men as perpetrator. The red pill is about understanding men and women like everything else in life. It's a mixed bag. You've got victims and perpetrators on both sides of the fence. And that's all. It's real simple. It's just not easy. Hmm. I... I think I agree with everything you said. But there's... there's still some kind of unsettling doubt, and I don't know where that's coming from. I'm recognizing all of these very serious men's rights issues. But what I don't understand is how I could be agreeing with men's rights actmsts. Is this the same misogynist hate group I originally discovered online? The Southern poverty law center has classified that group and men's rights groups as hate groups. 1 looked into what 1 was hearing from feminists and the mass media about the men's rights movement. I've read a lot and I've heard a lot that the men's rights movement has been labeled a hate group by the Southern poverty law center. - Is that correct? - Yeah, that's not quite true. No, they got it wrong. No. This was somehow written up on some kind of anti-men's rights websites as us having listed them as hate groups and so on. That we didn't do. He wrote a piece declaring the month of October to be "bash a violent bitch month." Jesus. "I mean, literally to grab them by the hair "and smack their face against the wall," he wrote. I then discovered that Paul elam's famous "bash a violent bitch" article was written in response to this article by jezebel called... The article cited a study that revealed 70°/o of non-reciprocated violence was perpetuated by women. The author then went on to say that she conducted an informal survey at the office and the gist of her findings was that many women had physically assaulted their man, and it was interpreted as either being funny or he was asking for it. I couldn't help but see the hypocrisy in a major feminist website making light of abusing men, and mras stinging back only to have the media paint them as the abusers. After my year of filming men's rights actmsts and feminists my descent into the rabbit hole was not slowing down. My education on gender politics was really just beginning. I learned about other sectors of the online manosphere, like mgtow, "men going their own way," and forum on reddit called "the red pill," which is separate from the men's rights community, and they do not see eye to eye. I'm told an easy way to remember the difference is that while mras want to change the system redd1t's "the red pill" want to take adv ant age of the system, and mgtow want to leave the system. There are so many perspectives on gender, and I believe they're all worthy of listening to. However, the conversation is being silenced. For a society to accept anything said on behalf of women's rights and then to shame any dialogue about men's rights and call it hate speech is precisely the problem. This 1s what men's rights look like'.! I don't know where I'm headed, but I know what I left behind. I no longer call myself a feminist. Ugh! This Thanksgiving is gonna be the worst! You don't know that. The years my dad comes are great, and my mom years are disasters. You should really try to appreciate the time you have with your mom. Spoken like a man who drove his mother all the way to Oregon and enjoyed it. Well, our book club had just ended, and the last three books were set in the Pacific Northwest. It just made sense. I just want a peaceful Thanksgiving. I have nothing to be thankful for! Your three beautiful children are right here. Called to school by Dr. Ellie... great Special Ed teacher, terrible necklace-chooser. Anna-Kat's behavior has been a little heightened lately. She organized the stuffed animals by fur color. Looks a little race-war-y. Is anything going on at home? Any changes? Well, her favorite toy pony, Frenchie... Oh, I know about Frenchie's leg. Mm. Anything else out of the ordinary? Uh, the holidays can be stressful for parents, and sensitive kids can pick up on that. My mother. She's coming for Thanksgiving. Ahh. I-Is that complicated for you? No. It's pretty simple. She's the worst. My mom's the biggest narcissist on the planet. She was a Pan Am stewardess back in the day when it meant something. But was she there for me growing up? No. She traveled around the world. Well, Anna-Kat is... Did she come to one of my basketball games? No. Was she at my back-to-school night? No. Did she ever check out my break-dancing crew? Never! All she does is come around and expect everybody to fawn all over her and listen to her talk about herself. Unh-unh. Not in my house. She was not there for me, and I am not gonna... Do you... Do you have a pillow? We're actually here to talk about Anna-Kat. And right now, she is feeding off of your anxiety. Uh, I wondered if you'd given any more thought to putting her on medication. Dr. Ellie, you know where I stand with this. She is 6 years old. I don't think screwing around with her brain this young is a good idea. We'll revisit this if I find a bag of cat heads in her backpack. Dr. Ellie says Anna-Kat is feeding off my anxiety. She brought up the medication again. I like how she's not afraid of you. So, instead, she taught me a few coping techniques for her. She can either squeeze a stress ball or sing a song in her head. But I don't want to open the door to "Frozen" again, - so I just gave her the ball. - Here's an idea... don't let your mother stress you out. This is not me. This is all her. No matter what the occasion, the attention always has to be on her. ♪ Silent Night ♪ ♪ Holy night ♪ ♪ All is calm ♪ ♪ All is bright ♪ ♪ Round yon virgin ♪ ♪ Mother and child ♪ ♪ Holy infant, so tender and... ♪ Oh, open mine first. Oh! Wasn't I fabulous? That was me in my prime. But no reason to be jealous! I have one for each of you. All right. You're welcome. Ow! It hurts so much! Every time I bend my elbow, it makes this weird clicking noise. Is... Is that something I should be worried about? Can you hear it? All that may be true, but maybe the bigger problem is how you react. ♪ Sleep in heavenly pe... ♪ Sit down! Jesus does not want you singing about him! No... body... wants... these! Get this thing out! It's not quite time to push. I mean my mother! Greg, she forced you to walk her to her car. You missed the birth of our firstborn. I did, but I saw the sheets. I'm good. All that wouldn't have happened if you didn't let her get under your skin. You're right. She's driving me crazy. And I'm driving Anna-Kat crazy. Next thing you know, we've got a backpack full of cat heads. - What? - It's a medical term. No matter what my mother does, I'm going to ignore her and stay calm. Or you can sit down and finally tell her how you feel. God, no. I'm saving that stuff to say to her coffin. Angela, I really need you for Thanksgiving to be a buffer for my mom. Mnh-mnh. Too late. I'm already Doris' buffer. Ugh. My parents are so grateful for all the money I give them on Thanksgiving. - It's disgusting. - I really need a buffer! Hi, everybody! - Hey. - Hi, Viv. Oh, my gosh! That cheeseburger is huge. It's just the size that it comes as. It's enormous. It's a normal-sized cheeseburger, Viv. I love cheeseburgers. I eat them all the time. Sure you do. Yeah, we completely believe that you eat cheeseburgers all the time. Look at me! I'm taking a bite! That's my food. - Mmm! So good. - Okay. So, um, are you guys gonna be home or away for Thanksgiving? Home. Allen is gonna be in the city with the boys and his ex-wife. They still do holidays and vacations together. - Don't you go, too? - Mnh-mnh. His ex-wife hates me. - Mm. - Hates me. Hates me. She thinks I stole her husband. Which I kind of did. But not on purpose. You realize that's not a good story to tell people, right? I know! So, I'm gonna be all alone. - Mm. - By myself. - Yeah. - On Thanksgiving. This coming Thursday. Well, enjoy the peace and quiet. I will! Okay! - Bye! - Bye. No way. My mom will already be on my last nerve. I don't want Viv getting on nerves I haven't even discovered yet. Touchdown! That's another 5 bucks you owe me. Guys, this is my teaching assistant, Vali. Vali, these are my kids... Oliver, Taylor, and Anna-Kat. The boy seems shorter than I imagined. TV off, guys. But we have a bet on the game. Thanksgiving isn't about football. It pretty much is. It's only not when you have a dad who isn't into sports. I'm into sports! Name three NFL quarterbacks. I don't have to prove anything to you. TV off. Greg! You're killing me! Why do you always invite one of your TAs? You mean invite someone from a foreign land with nowhere to go to join us on a day when we open our hearts? The last thing that I need... Hi! We are so happy that you are with us. I like your track suit. I must say, you are very beautiful. I like your size. Okay, that was creepy. It's no less creepy than you hitting on my mom. I do not hit on your mom. You always kiss her on the cheek and try to make her like you. You're like, "Oh, that dress is just perfect for the season!" Why does your voice always get higher when you do an impression of me? That's her. My heart is racing. I need that stress ball. You can do this. Stay calm. Don't let her get to you. Do it for Anna-Kat. Do it for me. Okay, I can see I lost you. Do it for Anna-Kat. Okay. Relax. There's no way she can make an entire family Thanksgiving about herself. Oh, God. She upped her game. Happy Thanksgiving. I'll just take this heavy bag upstairs, then. - All by myself. - Okay, great. Be careful of that clicky elbow. What happened to your mom? Absolutely nothing. She is looking for attention. You didn't ask? She could be really hurt. Oh, please. That thing isn't even bolted into her head. - I should go help her. - No! You will be playing right into her hand. I'm a good person! You knew what you were getting into when you married me. Okay, but no crawling up her butt. No, like, "Oh, we're just so happy you're here!" - I don't sound like that. - Dad, did you say something? All right. So. How was your trip? Not easy, as you can imagine. Anna-Kat and I saw a video of this guy going through security who was caught smuggling a monkey in his underpants. It was supposed to be sedated, but it was awake. - And very angry. - Mm. Well, uh, we're happy you're here. I... Check on the, uh, Thanksgiving. Just leave it. Grandma is known for pretending, so even though she looks hurt, remember the important thing is that she's not hurt. So no one talk about the monkey bars on Grandma's head. I love watching your mouth move. Dude. Anna-Kat, you don't need to squeeze your stress ball. Mom is fine. We are like E.T. and Elliott. Whatever happens to one happens to the other. Oh! You're like me. So you get a weird feeling in your tummy whenever you see a mommy that's taller than a daddy. Totally. Can I steal you for a sec? I, uh... inadvertently lip-kissed your mom. Greg. I didn't enjoy it! Why do you even have to say that? There's no way everyone's staying quiet about Grandma. You don't think so? Care to make it more interesting? I'll bet on it. It's on! When have I ever high-fived? You know, when I was a stewardess, before every flight, I had to get on the scale. And if you weighed over 118, they put you on diet pills and only let you fly out of Jersey and Detroit. That's terrible. No, no, no. It kept me looking fantastic. Mom! That's degrading. Mama, where's my stress ball? Oh. Honey, we'll find it. And I feel ya. What, so now she's using a stress ball? When the need arises. Knock, knock! Happy Thanksgiving! - Viv? - So fun! Greg saw me through the window and waved me in! Hi, everybody! Look at your table! Yeah. Oh! Wow. Are... Are these... from the street? You know what? You're lucky I'm here. I'm gonna let you use my fall tablescape. There's nothing wrong with my table, Viv. You are so funny! Greg! Hi. I'm Viv. It's so nice to meet you. You're too bony for me. I didn't think that you could do anything worse than making out with my mom, but congratulations. You topped it! Well, she was desperately peering through the window. What was I supposed to do? The same thing that you do if someone asks if you have a minute to save the environment... You look at your shoes and you keep moving. Darling, you are stunning. Oh, those stems! Tell me... Were you ever a stewardess? Why, no, but thank you. I'm Viv! I'm Kathryn, Katie's mother. Kathryn, forgive me. I'm sure you've been talking about this all day, but I have to ask... What happened to you? No-o-o-o-o! Pay up, girl! Mom says you're not allowed to call me that. Well, it all started three weeks ago when I got into a small but very severe car accident. - Oh, my gosh. - What's the other thing Dr. Ellie told Anna-Kat to do to stay calm? Oh, yes! Sing a song in your head! No! Not that song! Too late! ♪ Don't let them in ♪ ♪ Don't let them see ♪ ♪ Be the good girl you always have to be ♪ ...stops. I hit him. - Oh! - So I'm driving... ♪ Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know ♪ ♪ But now they know ♪ What are you doing? We spent three years getting that song out of this house. It's spilling out. ♪ Let it go ♪ ♪ Let it go ♪ Oh, dear Lord. ♪ Can't hold it back anymore ♪ Honey, you have got to calm down. Isn't it a good thing your mom has someone to talk to? Now we've got the neediest woman in the world coming together with the biggest attention whore in the world, which is exactly what I was trying to avoid. So, no! Not good! I'm gonna use a word... Selfless. You didn't want to ruin their holiday by not showing up. I don't like to make things about me. You know, people think of me as a giving person. Oh, I can't take it. I'm blowing the lid off this web of lies. I'm gonna "Brady Bunch" her. You know I wasn't allowed to watch television as a child. Well, this man blamed Carol for injuring his neck in a car accident, and then Mike and the kids went to court, and then Mike dropped a briefcase, which caused the man with the fake neck brace to whip his head around, proving that his neck wasn't hurt at all. The whole family went to court for a traffic accident? The doctor was supposed to be examining my neck, - but his eyes were journeying. - It's quite a journey. Mama, I can't find my ball. Try to find anything else to squeeze. You know, I had him on a flight once to JFK. No! He kept on pressing the help button. It was supposedly because he didn't know how to work the... Damn it! I thought you said the "Brady Bunch" man dropped his briefcase, not his husband's spaghetti plate! Mom! You okay? Oh, she's fine. As I was saying... ♪ Let it go, let it go ♪ ♪ That perfect girl is gone ♪ ...was fawning all over me. Anna-Kat. Grandma's talking. ♪ Here I stand ♪ ♪ In the light of day ♪ ♪ Let the storm rage o-o-o-on ♪ Anna-Kat, please! Isn't it about time that somebody put this kid on medication? Medication? You want to put my daughter on medication because she interrupted your stupid story about a jungle gym on your head? ! That's it! I'm taking it off! Aah! Ladies! Please, stop! Everyone else, there's spinach and artichoke dip in a bread bowl. There's something about strong women that just gets me going. Again, that's my mother and my grandmother. You're a lucky man. Oh, my God. I cupped your boob. - Attacked and fondled? - Didn't fondle. Aye! The dip is delicious. Hey, Greg. How are you? How's your holiday going? Normally, I go upstairs and smooth things over, but this time, I can't. Your mother would assume I was there to bed her. Well, I'm not going up there. She was completely out of line with Anna-Kat. I agree the timing was way off, but it really wasn't that terrible. It's not like Dr. Ellie hasn't suggested medication for Anna-Kat before. I am not willing to go down that road until we've exhausted all the other roads. I totally agree with you, but it's there for us if we feel like she needs it. Because the singing in your head, from what we've seen today... not effective. My mom just wants to drug Anna-Kat so she doesn't have to deal with her. The same reason why she wanted to fly around the world... so she didn't have to deal with me. Why are you telling me this? You should be telling her. Greg! This is coffin talk. You know, you're critical of your mom, but you're the one who's thinking of herself right now. You're acting just like her. So, this is it, Greg. This is where your life ends. Sweetheart, this is your chance to have a real conversation with your mother. Fine. I've never been able to get through to her. At least you know how to touch her. Hey. Everything okay? Oh, my God. So good! I know it's none of my business... Here's where you stop talking. - ...but if you want my opinion... - I don't. ...medication has done wonders for my step-kids. - Viv, I am not gonna... - I get it. I had my doubts about it going in, too. But those kids were totally out of control, and once I started taking these, I found them much easier to handle. So, these pills help you smile through the pain? I feel nothing. Mm. So, turns out Anna-Kat doesn't need drugs... We do. Oh, I remember these. Can we go again? Sure. I'm happy to take more of your money. Gambling's awesome. I think it's gonna be a problem for me later in life. Whoo! I feel good. - Me, too. - Yeah. Mom, all you do is try to get attention, and all I do is yell at you. We have got to figure out a way to stop that. - Mm. - I mean, come on, Mom. What is with this thing? Well, it's... it's from my car accident. I called you about it, but you never followed up. Because you said it was nothing. When I hear the word "nothing," I move on. Okay, can I just ask you... Why is it so hard for you to be there for me? Seriously? When were you there for me? You picked a life of travel and adventure over being there for your kids! I sound happy, but I'm very upset! Katie, I know that I wasn't a good parent. You know, whatever that thing was that's supposed to kick in just never kicked in. Well, maybe because you were such a crappy mom, that's why I try so hard to be a good mom. Oh! So I made you a good mom. Mnh-mnh. That's not what I'm saying. Not what I'm saying. And I'm sorry that I said that about Anna-Kat. And I'm sorry that I missed so many things when you were younger. - Mm. - You know, like that weird, um, break-dancing thing. - Mm-hmm. - It was always so important to you. Well, it's never too late, Mom. Okay? Okay. Unh! Unh-unh! Unh! Wow. Mm-mm-mm! That's something. All right, why don't you help me get out of this thing, and then we can go downstairs and enjoy ourselves before Viv's happy pills wear off? I mean, where did you get this thing? Oh, I visited Ruth Jackson in the home. - Mm-hmm. - And this was in her closet. - Mm. - That woman doesn't have a clue. - No. - Half the time, she goes to lunch nude. Thank you for your gift earlier. - Oh! - It did the job. I've got gobs of them. I'm really glad you came. Wow. These pills are powerful. - Hey, Katie. - Mm-hmm? Why don't you sit your bottom here, next to me? Oh, Vali, I think I'm going to go ahead and probably sit next to anyone else. Fair enough. - I'll sit there. - Okay. Mom. Do you want to go ahead and sit next to me? Oh! I would love that. Hey, I'm sorry things got awkward with us today. Let's just start over. Happy Thanksgiving, Greg. Oh, happy Thanksgiving. You... You just unhooked my bra. That's not even a thing I can do if I'm trying! Oh, Greg. The one time a year we get little marshmallows on sweet potatoes, and you're too high to put them on the table. I made a lot of bad decisions yesterday. You're telling me. You left the oven on all night long. You could have burned down the house. I also left the sink on. It would have put out part of the fire. Oh. No! No, no, no, no, no! What? Apparently, I also agreed to make an "Amazing Race" audition video with my mom. Always say no to drugs, Katie. She wrote a script. She wants me to buy a purple tank top. - She is bananas! - Hey. Honey. Mama's sorry. I know all this affects you, and I don't want to drive you crazy like my mom did with me. - So... - Were you saying something? Oh. Yeah. Did you not hear me? Well, I just thought you were doing all this lining-up business because you heard Mommy getting crazy about Grandma's stuff. No, Mama. Don't worry about it. I've got my own crap. You spend all day being the perfect boss. And the perfect mom. And the perfect wife. But sometimes... sometimes, you just gotta be a little bad. Oh, shoot. Guys, I gotta go finish some reports for work. You need something sweet and salty, just like you. Honey, are you eating something? No, I'm doing work reports. - Mommy? - Mommy's busy! Your little midnight snack is nobody's business. Introducing new Shhhh-nacks, from Frito Lay. Utilizing a patented silencing technology previously only available to secretly American-funded death squads in El Salvador. New Shhhh-nacks let you hide the shame eating you do to fill the void left by such things as: your parents, your dad, your mom, both your parents, your bottomless, sad love life, your less-than-great hair and all magazines. Not only are the bags silent, so are the chips. Susan. You left in the middle of the meeting. Is everything okay? Yep. Just silently pooping. If a chip falls in your stomach and there's no one there to hear it, are you really sad? New Shhhh-nacks, when you're trying to feed a hunger you can't let anyone know about because you're humiliated by basic human desires. From the makers of Shame Spirals and Los Angeles. ♪♪ Hi there, Amy. - How are you today? - Good. Okay, so I am just gonna give you a quick breast exam. Go ahead and lay back and relax. Okay. So, have you had any new sexual partners since the last time I saw you? Oh, nnn... What do you consider sex? Penetration or...? Well, no, there's all kinds of different kinds of sex. Okay, then, yes, a bunch, but we used a condom. - Their call. - Okay, great. So I'm gonna have you put your feet in the stirrups and I want you to slide all the way to the end of the table so that I can take a look at your pussy. All the way down. Like, slide your pussy all the way down to the end of the table. Okay. When was the last time you were bleeding out of your pussy? Um, two weeks ago. Can- - Can you not refer to it as that? Oh, I'm sorry. When were you menstruating out your pussy? No, the um... The- - Can you not say... "pussy"? Oh, yeah, sure, fine. Whatever. Okay, so I'm gonna take two fingers, I'm gonna put 'em in your hair pie. I'm gonna feel around, apply some pressure to your ovaries and check you out for beav cancer, okay? - Listen... - Oh, did I press too hard? I apologize. - No. - Okay, well, everything feels fine, so now I'm just gonna go ahead and clamp your clam open and then swab around the inside of your tuna taco - and I'll have you on your way. - Yeah, no. Can you just use the clinical term for vagina? I don't- - I don't see what's so hard about just saying vagina. I don't understand. Are you referring to your sausage wallet? - Sausage wallet? - You know, your lizard mouth. Does it really feel normal to you to refer to it this way? I- - That would be like a proctologist calling a butt a-- Butt? Oh, God. I'm sorry. I think I got some in your steaming hot pocket. I'll get-- let me clean that up. ♪♪ What is your favorite word for a pussy? Stink wrinkle. - Stink wrinkle? - Yeah. Ugh! Favorite word for pussy? (bleep). How do you refer to a woman's vagina? What's the word that you use? - I don't talk about it. - Well, you gotta-- It's gonna come up at some point. I've been married for 32 years, I don't-- - You have two kids. - Yeah, they're boys. They're boys, but what did they come out of? The uterus? You ought to teach a science thing or something. - What do you call your vagina? - Oh, enormous. You gotta respect that. ♪♪ All right, good breathing. That's class, you guys. Now, does anybody have any questions? Sure, Amy. When I was just breathing just now, I started thinking, what if I don't feel connected to the baby? - I'm concerned about that, too. - Me too. Oh, thank you. I think you guys are talking about postpartum depression, and that totally makes sense. One out of every seven new moms does suffer from it. Yeah, no, no, um... You're saying, no, that's not true? I'm worried that, uh... Our kid's just gonna have a shit vibe. - Sorry, come again? - Okay. I- - I'm, like, ehh... You know? And he's, like, the worst, so I feel like, when we made a baby, so it'll just be like... - Her dad's my boss. - Gotcha. So you're not talking about postpartum depression, you're just concerned that your baby's an asshole? Okay, yeah, like, that's what I'm talking about, too. - And, like, off of what she said. - Right. I think, just ultimately, we're mostly afraid that he won't be chill. Like, what if he can't hang? Or he hangs too hard and has one too many drinks and does that, like, slow-blinking thing. Let's open it up. Any- - Anybody else with some fears? Bats. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I should have been more specific that I meant fears about the baby. Okay, I have a fear about my human baby. - Okay, great. - Um... I'm really scared that my baby's gonna be blind. And nocturnal. And fly. Okay, I think we're getting into bat territory again, and I want to steer us away from that. Like a bat. Bats are everywhere, so. They're really not. Let's stay on track. We're just gonna talk about fears about the baby. What about baby-- baby bats? We're not gonna go down the bat thing again this class, okay? Well, as long as it's black, though. We're both black, so it's gonna be black. - A black baby. - It's gonna be black. How many of you have even seen a bat? In real life? Okay, there we go. You can't really get away from bats. Let's just keep it on the discussion that we had going, which is: what your worries are about the baby. Uh, we're Jewish, but we were afraid that our baby's going to be, like, too Jewish? Yeah. Like, two sets of dishes Jewish. And mark my words, no child of mine is gonna (bleep) through a sheet, okay? - Uh... - My biggest fear... is that our baby will want to participate in SantaCon. That's where they dress up like Santa? I- - I won that. A couple years ago. I have to say yes, fear of a shit baby in this day and age, it's a-- it's a valid concern. Okay. Well, if we're really sharing things, I'm really afraid that our son is going to... be on those dating apps and that his profile pic will be him wearing those new year's glasses where the numbers are the eyes. Oh... And what if he does something totally unforgivable, like rape? Or, um... DJ'ing? Dads, you need to talk to your sons and say, don't DJ. It starts in the home. These are all really valid fears. Look, your kids, they are gonna grow up to be pieces of shit and they will hate you. But here's the thing. All of you are also pieces of shit. You really are. Bat! Bat! Everyone for themselves! ♪♪ ♪♪ - What's wrong, Amy? - Nothing. - Oh, okay. - No, I'll tell you. I got stuck on another awkward date last night. It's, like, you know in two seconds if the guy is wrong for you, but you still have to sit there through the whole dinner. You need to try the website I'm on. It keeps dating super casual. I already tried It's Just Lunch. It was still awkward. I'm off that. I'm talking about It's Just a Quick What's Up. - It's Just a Quick What's Up? - Yeah. When a guy decides he wants to briefly meet you, he'll send you a no-presh, super cash "slight nod". Then when you respond with "I guess" using its patented sigh-activated technology, the app automatically will set up a time and place for you guys to walk past each other on the street. - What's up? - What's up? Gosh, but ugh, what if even being close to a guy on the street makes me want to open my arms the right way? For just another 49.99 a month, you can stand on a street corner and a guy will pass you in a double decker bus and wave. What's up? What's up? If you want the premium package, for $75 a month, a guy in his 50s who doesn't want kids will buzz your door and say... What's up? ...into the intercom. How's it-- What's up? Wow. What if I just want him to buzz? Oh, my God, of course. Everyone's on so much medication now that nobody wants to have sex anyway. Yeah, I guess it's true what they say. "It's better to have said a quick what's up and lost than to have never said a quick what's up..." ♪♪ Dating apps. Mark is very familiar. - Yeah. - Mark, what-- Who have you said no to? Like, what was the situation where you said no to sex with a woman? Well, you had sex and it was bad, then I said no to the second one. - How did you say no? - I didn't answer the phone. That's a clear no. I gotta tell you this, no story. I told this woman no, I couldn't have sex with her because she started telling me about her son, - and how sick he was. - Ooh, that's hot. And how he had, like, eight surgeries. This is in the middle of us trying to hook up, - she starts telling me that. - Ugh. And I was just like, yeah, I can't. I can't do it. And I'm sorry, but all I kept thinking was, is that gonna happen to me if I have sex with her? Like, you're gonna catch her son's thing? I know it's totally irrational, but that's what I kept thinking. Like, it's her vagina's fault and I'm not going anywhere near that vagina. What's the oldest woman you would have sex with? The oldest I've had sex with is 48. How old were you? 17. - Was that your virginity? - Yes. - Oh, my God. - Really? - You lost your virginity to an older woman. - Oh, yeah. You must be- - You should be great in bed, then. - No... - No, there's no way. - She was a real pro. - Really? I couldn't keep up, yeah, and I think it scarred me. That's why I would assume you were great. Was she a real pro, like... I think she was a prostitute, but she didn't charge me. Okay. ♪♪ My name's Tanya Chambers. I'm a normal, sexually aggressive woman by day, but I have a very special gift, also by day. I'm a snake doctor. ♪♪ This snake is sick. I fixed your snake! This snake is sick. I fixed your snake! This snake is sick. I fixed your snake! Everywhere I go, there are sick snakes that I have to help, because if I don't all the snakes will die. I would have rather just brought him to a vet, to be honest, - but she's supposed to be the best. - Hooroo! I'm here to fix your snake! Here, I brought Scandal with me to keep your snake calm, 'cause snakes like other snakes. Whoa! Did it die already? Oh, no, she's just resting. Thank you so much for coming, we're really worried about her. Lizzie is the last gift that my mother got me before... I'm sorry. I just think if she died, it would be like losing my mom all over again. We really appreciate you being here. Cool, do you guys have any food? I feel like something hot. Um, we have some soup left over. Does it have any meat or sausage in it? - No. - I don't want it, then. Uh, Lizzie means a great deal to Amy and I, so... Bloody hell. No one told me you were Australian. Is that a problem? Only if being horny as hell is a problem. Uh, okay, well, Lizzie has not been herself. She's not moving very much and she's getting night sweats. Just take a look at her. Oh! What is it? I hate it! Lizzie! Lizzie? Lizzie! Lizzie is a lizard! I love snakes, but I absolutely hate lizards. Lizards are a myth. And she's been very weak. She hasn't been moving very much lately. Ugh, you should have gotten a snake. They wriggle all over the place. Do you think I should enter more crickets into her diet? Oh, look, you're clearly flipping out about this. I need to talk to him on his own. Is there a master bedroom we could go to? Uh, the kitchen's right over here. Yeah, we could go to the kitchen. No, you stay here, mind the leg snake! I could tell Trevor had a thing for me, plus, I needed to tell him what I was gonna do. Listen. Your snake's clearly gonna die unless I do surgery on it. I don't find you attractive. You'll come 'round. - No, I won't. - Yes, you will! Wait 'til you see me in the surgery! This room needs to be sterile. You should get out. Just me? Yeah, just you, Willie Nelson. - It's all right, hon'. - Quickly! Maybe I shouldn't be here either. I haven't washed my hands. Oh, neither have I. It's cool. We're hanging out. (beeping) We're losing him! That snake was going to die, so I did the only thing I could. ♪♪ I fixed your snake. - Lizard! - Oh, well, actually, it's a snake now, 'cause I cut off his legs, so now he's just head, tummy, tail, snake! Lizzie! You're welcome! ♪♪ What's your favorite accent that you think is the hottest on someone? I like Australian. - You do? - Yeah, I do. - That's your favorite? - Yeah, I'm going to Australia. I hope I just get it pounded in every hole, I can't wait. - What about you? - Nothing beats Chicago. ♪♪ ♪♪ You know her as my favorite live performer of all (bleep) time, give it up for Miss Bridget Everett! ♪♪ If you're gonna let somebody love you, you gotta let them love you all the way. Even if you've been working all day and you got that two-show pussy cooking... You like that shit? You sick (bleep). ♪ I hope you're hungry ♪ ♪ The snack bell just rang ♪ ♪ It's like the first summer peach ♪ ♪ Work on the thing ♪ ♪ Oh watch it drip down your chin ♪ ♪ Ooh she getting juicy ♪ ♪ Make this bitch go crazy ♪ ♪ Like her name is Gary Busey ♪ ♪ Gonna lift up my skirt ♪ ♪ Show you where my (bleep) is ♪ ♪ Whip out your tongue ♪ ♪ Gimme 30 lashes ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ Are you catching on yet, mother (bleep)? ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Make that cream ♪ What you got down there in your panties, honey? What you got down there, huh? Huh? ♪ Short one long one ♪ ♪ It doesn't matter ♪ ♪ Just suck on this bean ♪ ♪ Feel it getting fatter ♪ ♪ You've had a bad day ♪ ♪ You're feeling like shit ♪ ♪ You wanna beat something up boy ♪ ♪ Beat up this (bleep) ♪ ♪ Here's the combination to my lovely lady locker ♪ ♪ She'll pop in your mouth ♪ ♪ Like Orville Redenbacher ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ Put your hands up, bitch, yeah! ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Make that cream ♪ There comes a time in every young fella's life when he becomes a man. Your time is now. ♪ Snack club ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Snack club ♪ ♪ It's what for dinner ♪ ♪ Snack club ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ You eat it you eat it ♪ ♪ Then you beat it up ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Come on and eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ There's a little bit more. ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ You're almost home. ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ One more! ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ Eat it eat it ♪ ♪ You eat it you eat it then you beat it up ♪ God bless New York City! ♪♪ Okay, so, um, I don't know if any of you had a childhood, but I did and my favorite show was "The Muppet Show", and my favorite thing ever was when Rita Morena was on and she sang "Fever". I've done four years of this show and I just feel like I've earned myself to live out this dream of-- I just want to sing the song, so... Um, yeah. Thank you! Thank you for letting me live it out. Thank you. Okay. All right. ♪♪ ♪ Never know how much I love you ♪ ♪ Never know how much I care ♪ ♪ When you put your arms around me ♪ ♪ I get a feeling that's so hard to bear ♪ ♪ You give me fever ♪ ♪ Morning time ♪ ♪ Fever-- ♪ Maybe, just, like, a little bit. ♪ Sun lapped up the morning ♪ ♪ Moon lights up the night ♪ ♪ I light up when you call my name ♪ ♪ 'Cause I know you're gonna treat me right ♪ ♪ You give me fever ♪ ♪ Fever when you hold me tight ♪ ♪ Fever ♪ ♪ Fever all through the night ♪ ♪ You give me fever... ♪ Hey, Quest? How about, let's-- Let's-- ♪ The night ♪ ♪ Sun lights up the morning ♪ ♪ Moon lights up the night ♪ ♪ I light up when you call my name ♪ ♪ 'Cause you know you gonna treat me right ♪ ♪ You give me fever ♪ ♪ Fevering through the night ♪ ♪ Fever ♪ ♪ How you kiss me ♪ ♪ Fever all through the night ♪ ♪ Fever all through the night ♪ ♪ Fever all through the night ♪ ♪ Fever all through the night ♪ ♪ Fever all-- ♪ She coming back? So easy. Mmm, magic. - EMMA: Previously on Scream... - Why are you following me? - EMMA: It's Dad. He's back. - What up, my Lakewood Sixers? Though, technically, there are only five of us at the moment. What? No one's talked to him since we, like, broke up? Talking about Jake Fitzgerald. That's your boyfriend, right? - (SCREAMING) - STAVO: Finally answered, huh? He must really love you. All you people who think you know everything about the Lakewood Six, you don't know us. Brooke, you're special to me. I don't even know who you are. - (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) - (GASPS) Piper... a girl accomplice? Do you remember what she looked like? - Crescent Palms. - ‭DISTORTED VOICE: Play it cool, scumbag. Or I'll strangle you with your own intestines. NOAH: Eddie told me about this storage unit. There's stuff in there that might belong to Piper. Figured you'd want to be there. Film the big reveal? AUDREY: Wouldn't miss it. Jake. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) (BREATHING HEAVILY) _ (RINGTONE PLAYING) DISTORTED VOICE: Hey, killer. You get my message? (MUTTERING) I don't... How could you... How could you do this to Jake? Gonna call the police? Oh, that's right. Can't really, can you? Got you in a nasty place, I guess. (HANGS UP) Scream - S02E03 Vacancy What does that mean, "Dad's back"? It means I saw him. We talked. You saw him here? In Lakewood? Yeah. We're, uh... having breakfast. Wow. Did he... what did he say? Not much. You know, that he's sorry. That... That he wants to be here for me now. Oh, honey... I know you love your dad, and he loved us, he did, but he had his own difficulties. - Promise me you'll be careful. ‭ - Mom, I... I can't promise you anything. I... have no idea what to expect. I just know that I have to talk to him. I have to hear what he's going to say. - Does that make sense? - ‭Of course. (BIRDS TWEETING OUTSIDE) (PHONE VIBRATING) Hey! Emma, are you okay? Yeah. I didn't mean to scare you. No, uh, it's just early. Um, what's up? My dad's back. I don't know. You're the only one who knew him before he left. And I haven't slept all night and I'm totally freaking out. Wow. He just shows up... literally when you get back to town? How long has he been here? I don't know. I didn't interrogate him. Doesn't it seem a little suspicious? You know, like, the timing of it all? What do you mean "the timing of it"? Um, I mean, like, where was he when all of our friends, everyone we knew, was getting slaughtered? When you were actually in danger? Well, um, we're meeting for breakfast. So, maybe we'll get into some of that. It just seems a little strange that he's suddenly here now. Yeah, I get that, but come on, you remember how good he was before he left, right? I'm just... I'm trying to focus on that. (CHUCKLES) Mmm... actually, I kinda remember him being a little off. He wasn't off. What do you mean "off"? He was damaged, Emma. I wouldn't have used that word when we were little, but he was damaged. - When Brandon James killed all of his... - He went through a lot, okay? We should definitely be able to understand that. And maybe he's better now. People can recover. Em, he just left you without any explanation. What about that? You should be careful. Yeah. Okay, I shouldn't have called you. - Wait, are you pissed at me? - Um, I'll see you later. (KNOCKING) Hey, sleepyhead! I've been texting you since dawn. Ready to check the storage unit? Let's go, go, go! Yeah, just give me one sec, okay? One second. Meet me out front. Thank you. This place is, uh, nice. It's, um, hip. Or whatever the word for "hip" is now. Yeah. Yeah, no, it... it works. I, um... I work here. Or I used to, before... I am starting again next week. I'm sorry. I wanted to come back, but I just... I couldn't, uh, get it together. That's my fault. And then, your mom said that you weren't ready to... see me, so... Mom told you not to come? She has her reasons. I missed a lot. But when I saw on the news what happened with your... with Piper... We don't... We don't have to get into that. Being a survivor is painful. Having to remember all of your friends' faces... This isn't... I'm fine, honestly. I need to ask you this one thing. Anything. I understand that you and Mom couldn't make it work. I get that. Sometimes, people just don't fit together. And, now, I know what you went through with Piper. The lies, all of it. I understand why you ran away from this place... but... (TAKES DEEP BREATH) Why'd you have to leave me? I can't explain that. (LINE RINGING, PHONE RINGING) Hi, honey. How was breakfast? Did you tell Dad not to contact me? (SIGHS) It's not that simple. When he called out of the blue, I said that now might not be the best time. You could have told me that last night. - I'm tired of all these secrets. - (HANGS UP) - (SIGHS) - (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING) So, who were you on the phone with basically at dawn? - Hey, fun story. None of your business. - Always so mysterious. Look, maybe we should go get breakfast instead of breaking and entering? - I'll spring for pancakes. - No pancakes. Ooh, wait! Hey, frame me up. Maybe use, like, a Dutch angle so it's creepier. I got it. This is it. Oh, what? The unit was already unlocked? Crescent Palms guy was hazing you. We'll see. - You recording? - ‭Yup. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) Ugh, this is such a lame disappointment. All this hype and then nothing. It's like everyone saying, "Go see The Blair Witch Project," right? Hey! Are you listening? What'd you expect, Noah? Some giant neon sign flashing "Piper was... here"? Uh... Hey, um... Let's jet, okay? Before someone else shows. Someone else! You're a genius. That's why the lock was broken. 'Cause someone else got here first, right? Someone who didn't want anyone to find whatever was in here. So, that means there was definitely something to find. Right? - Oh! What do we have here? - Hey, hey! You can't just take that. - It might be there for security. ‭ - First, this is new. Second, that thing over there is for security. Someone's been keeping an eye on this place. Maybe Eddie... - Who's Eddie? - Ugh, the Crescent Palms guy. Come on. We've got time before school to see what's on this. - Okay, you'll be standing in a line. - _ Shoulders back, like this. That's good. And, as you're introduced, you'll step up. Look, I've upgraded from texting to voice-mail to further express my level of "you are so dead." (SIGHS) I bite the bullet and I tell my dad about you, then you ghost? That is not getting back together, Jake. This is all very strange. Call me. Hey, I know we don't really know each other, but this Lady of the Lake Pageant does not seem like your thing. My dad is making me. Maddox pride. So, then, he'll be your escort? Oh, I haven't even thought about that. Um, no. Who has their dad as their escort? Uh, I do. (CHUCKLES) And I avoid all high school guy drama. Win-win. Oh, please. Everybody knows you have a crush on Noah. You practically give him eye baths in psych class. - Okay, no, I do not do that. - A little bit. Okay, well, maybe there's a world where I think Noah is kind of cool. - Happy? - (SCOFFS) Hold that thought. WOMAN: Okay, ladies, grab a worksheet. - Thank you all for participating. - Not a spectator event. Came early to get in some laps and accidentally discovered this circus. It's a traditional scholarship program with a charity component. Yeah. So... (CLEARS THROAT) Ever track down your missing boyfriend? Brooke! Are you joining us? Look, maybe I was unclear. Go away. I'll take that as a "no." The way he looked at me, I wanted to cry, but I also got really angry. That's probably natural, right? That's a lot of history there. I don't know. I think when Audrey went all doom and gloom on me this morning, she really got into my head. I think something is up with her. It's also Audrey. It's hard to tell. - You think your dad will stick around? - ‭I have no idea. He doesn't exactly have the most reliable track record. My dad left us when I was little. If he showed up now, I'd probably punch him in the teeth. Hey, Fight Club, not cool. - You were listening to all that? - No, no. Eli and his dad have a complicated relationship. And Eli's crazy. I get it. I definitely wanted to hit my dad when he left. I was little, but I was so angry. That doesn't sound like you. I've got to cram for my lit exam. PDA in the hallway. It's adorable. Don't you have, like, everything to sign up for? First day. You got a lot to do. It is my first day. I don't know where anything is. - Okay? The cafeteria, the office... - I'll... I'll show him around. - Are you sure? - Yeah. - He's a pain in the ass. - I'm standing right here. Just dump him at the office. They'll take care of him. So, it must be weird starting at a new school in the middle of the year. Used to it. We move around a lot. Living in one place your whole life isn't all that it's cracked up to be. So, yesterday, in the hall... Yeah. Right. I was wondering when you'd bring that up. - You knew who I was? - ‭Yeah. And you chose to screw with me because...? It was more fun than "Hey, I'm Eli." "Hey, I'm Emma." Yeah, I guess that's more fun. You're still kind of weird though. Whatever's on here might make that murderboard look like kiddie hour. Watch this. ‭Noah, we're gonna be late for school. (LINE RINGING) Shh! Shh, shh, shh. Crescent Palms, your place to relax in Lakewood. - This is Eddie. How can...? - You think you're pretty smart, huh? I want to know who else you told about that storage unit. - Who is this? - Oh, come on. It's Noah Foster from The Morgue. We talked last night. I told you already, I don't have anything else to say. (MUTTERING) Oh, that's nice. Okay. Look, you're spinning out these conspiracy theories that just don't exist, man. Just wait for the camera to sync up, okay? And... we are syncing. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) We're almost a quarter synced. What are you hiding? We are almost there. Come on, come on, come on. Oh, damn it! It was just streaming only. There's nothing on here. Uh, careful with that. It's a bookend. Very sturdy. It's fine. (SCOFFS) Limited edition dragon's head bookends with faux onyx finish, and the only thing keeping half my library from sliding onto the floor. That's usually what bookends do. I'm... I'm going to go to class. I'll see you there? (PHONE VIBRATING) _ (DOORBELL RINGS) (DOOR OPENING) (DOOR CLOSING) I know you told me not to come back. But here you are. - I needed to see her. - So, you saw her. Hopefully, you could see that she's a strong girl. She's working hard to get back to her life. And I don't want to mess any of that up. - But she had questions. - Questions... (SCOFFS) Questions like, uh... "Why no letters or phone calls?" or "Where the hell have you been half my life?" - I don't want to fight. - You should have respected my wishes. I'm trying to protect her. When I found out what happened to both of you, I knew I needed to connect with her, because the same thing happened to me, Maggie. Why are you here? Emma's friend Riley's been reaching out to me. She told me when Emma came home from your mom's house, she thought Emma needed me. - Not Riley Marra. - Yeah. She's been emailing me. Here. _ _ _ _ Piper murdered Riley Marra months ago. You've been getting emails from a dead girl. Okay, no, it's not a crush. I'm just a little obsessed with his podcast. (CHUCKLES) But he was with Riley. - That was so sad. - Now, he's always with Audrey. Although, after that video last fall, I guess guys aren't really her thing. Did you see it? Who would even post something like that? Mean people who don't think. In other news, I definitely think there's something we can do about this whole Noah situation. - No, Brooke, please. I really don't... - (PHONE VIBRATES) - Ugh, unknown numbers drive me nuts. Hello? - _ MAN: That, in black ink, my love may still shine bright. Okay, you are blocked on all social media, phones, even the telegraph, Branson, and you're blocked for a reason. I miss you, Brooke, and I heard that you broke up with Jake, - so I wanted to... - We're negotiating. And how do you know that? And are you really opening with a Shakespeare quote? - Is that your plan? - That's right. Sonnet 65. I assigned it. I'm feeling nostalgic. Come on, Brooke, you don't miss me at all? Consider this number blocked, too. This is my cousin, Eli. Feel free to ignore him. This is Audrey, Noah. Hey, man. First day, huh? - School is school. - Sure, except, in this school, people get killed by knife-wielding maniacs every 20 years, give or take. Excuse me! "Girl's only" moment. (SIGHS) So, out of nowhere, Branson hits me up this morning. Yeah. He said he just "heard" Jake and I broke up. Whoa! How did he hear that? Barely anyone even knew that you were together. What is it with men from the past mysteriously showing up? Wait, what does that mean? Emma's deadbeat dad resurfaced, too. Okay, not cool. And that is a totally different thing. And I was also not ready to share that! You weren't gonna share it with me? The person I told this morning wasn't exactly supportive, so... And how was your breakfast this morning? It went really well. I can tell that's 100% not true. Okay, are you two, like, legit fighting? No, it's fine. It's just... Audrey has some unflattering opinions about my dad, that's all. No, they're memories, not opinions. And, sometimes, maybe people are going through big things that have absolutely nothing to do with you, Emma. Big shocker! At the most, it's identity theft. And, even then, what's the real harm? I'm sorry, Mag. I-I didn't mean to sound dismissive. It's just... you've seen the reports of all the hijinks since your unfortunate run-in with Ms. Shaw. That's a pretty damning understatement. - Look, we all grew up here. - And you left. You both left. My family left because of that whole Brandon James mess. Miguel, with our particular history, I think you should investigate. (SIGHS) You know what? You're right. Just to be safe. I know a guy in the bureau back in Phoenix. He can try to trace the activity. Take a while. But, for now, do not tell Emma. Okay? We don't need the whole student body talking. I don't know about not telling Emma. If I don't... What if Miguel is right? You said you don't want to stress Emma out. You let me know if you find anything out. Maggie, hold up. I trust Miguel. He'll get this sorted out. Like deciding not to tell Emma, and then, swapping glances like you're teenage boys - getting away with things again? - That's not what just happened. Look, I've raised Emma on my own since you left. I've made mistakes, but I didn't have any help. - That's not fair. You know I had to leave. - Now, you're back, and you think that you and Emma almost being killed No, listen. I -Pragmatic. No, I did. No, you are. I'm a realist. -You are scared. -I'm not afraid. It is not our first time. I'm not scared. I'm not scared. -OK. -unhappy Himself. I'm just very, very unhappy. You're so... You are so wonderful, and you're so... The sensitive and romantic, and... Slab. What? -There What you want to say. I did not say you were bad. You've already talked about. I did not say you were bad. You've already talked about. Why not say again? Slab. I did not say you were bad. I did not say that you are weak. -Do you love me? It's not about that. No, not about that! No, it's not about that! -It's About it! -Not! -You did not answer me! Yes, I love you. -When You love someone... Amends. Do not turn your back. You have to be careful with that. It may never get. I can not do this to work with you, Edward. I can not keep doing this. Susan. You can not turn your back on problems all the time. Come on. Come on. -Shit. I told you I do not know. Why do not you ask me there, man? I'll see you soon. OK? Hi, honey. Let's go to my camp. It is located in White Creek near barracks where they took your family. Follow me. Sit down. Jeez, I'm sick. Toni, come here quickly. Here. Use this. OK? Shoot him if exaggerated. Bu! Man, this is illegal. Yes it is legal, it took me the cell, not in the shack. We can not be more legalistic. No new evidence. Really? Why do not you arrest me if you have new evidence? I like it here. Is relaxed. It seems to me that you are trying this trick before. If you think that this type of to break me, You've already seen it does not work. -Yes. What if I told you that your drug Lu Bates connected with the murder of Hastings? If Lu did it, arrested to me. Do not worry. We'll take you to the station. Do not worry. Who is this? Look at that. Get in! -Son Son. -OK. OK. Come on, boy. Come here. Lu, what did you say this guy? Nothing. He said you told him I I killed a woman and a child from that type. What? It's the same thing for you. You're supposed to be representative Act. What is this shit? Fuck off. Both. Have you two last words you want to say to each other? Toni, I think it should be to kill them now. It will be tough for them outside, Since they will not know how to handle them. Maybe Ray is killed while resisting arrest. Came home late at night... Burglar could kill him. Uneasily with you, boy? Get up! You look uncomfortable. I'm sorry. What? -I'm sorry. -What did you say? I will not kill you, son. I'm a cop. What is it? Plakaćeš? Are you going to cry? Well, since you feel so uncomfortable... Toni, come here. Take this. Come here. OK? -Please. Fuck. Exactly here. Right here. OK? OK. -What about me? Maybe is me uncomfortable. Here. Really? Good. Come on. Here. Free as a bird. OK? What do you say to that? What do you say, Tony? What do we do with these two? What are you gonna do? What are you going to do, son? Come on. Come on. Let's go. He's got a gun. Bobbi? -Shit! Shoot him, Toni! Come back, you little bastard! Yes. Yes. No, please. Are you okay? 'll Repent for this. I repent now. I'm a Catholic. I do not believe in abortion. I'm so sorry. I feel so useless. You are all but useless. You always know what to do. Thank you. I think I will never be able to look Edward After what I did to his child. He will never know. What did I do? What did I do? I promise I'll be all right. I will do everything to be in order. God, no. Edward. Toni. You know I had to shoot him, right? I do not care what you had to shoot him! I'm glad you shot him! I'm glad he's dead! It was supposed to prevent! I was supposed to protect them! I should have expected this! It was supposed to prevent! -Enough. It was supposed to prevent! It's okay. You're supposed to stop it! It's okay. Okay. You're supposed to stop it, Bobby! Look at me. You're a good man. You're a good man. Come on, we have to stand up. If Ray came to the road, they will have to hitchhike. We have to catch him before than catching a ride. Listen to me. When you come to a fork road, turn left . This will take you back to the place where you took the family. I doubt that headed for the highway. I will go in that direction. Take this. I have one in my car. Bobbi. -What is it? Are you in trouble about all this? I do not know. I do not give a fuck. I'm dying, do you remember? What the fuck! Ti. Where's your friend? -Ariving. Your cop friends? Around are. Are they here? Just me now. You and that fucking gun who do not know how to use it. What happened Luu? Dead. What? Fucking son of a bitch. This is a big problem for your friend, you know that? I do not think so. Do not you know? What the fuck do you want? You and that stupid gun. I saw how much you're handy with miracle. -Sit down. Have a seat. Sit down or I'll kill you. Listen, man. Why is a nice guy like you hanging out with a guy like Andes? He kills people. You kill people. Deserve it, your wife and child. You mistake me understand. It was an accident. -Accident? People have to come to me with a certain respect. Some things can not tolerate. When someone accuses me of something, I take that as an insult. It gives me the right. If my fish accuse to fuck another, Then go to fuck another. If your daughter thinks I'm rapist, then being raped. No one will get away with what you did to us. Niko. Niko. Really? Niko. Niko. Niko. Then you just have to kill me. Do not you? You need to kill me. You have no idea. It's fun to kill people. You of all people should be to try it sometime. Fun? It's fun to kill people? Did you have fun while You killed my wife and daughter? Get up. Get up. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. I remember your fucking wife. I remember fucking your wife. You're too weak. Too fucking bad. You're too weak to do something about it. Son of a bitch! Edward. Edward Sheffield Information about new email's Tuesday evening. Dear Susan, just tell me when and where. Edward. This way, sir. tatily GIRL: You're still going to Justin's thing tonight, right? Yeah. I'll probably get there around 11:00. Depends on how much wine Mr. and Mrs. Hiller drink at dinner tonight. Can't believe you get paid 15 bucks an hour to sit on your ass all night. Well, occasionally the baby cries, and I have to go check on her. But, yeah, I, uh, pretty much just watch Netflix. Whatever. (chuckles) So let me ask you something, does this outfit look too trashy for tonight? Well, on, like, a scale of from Taylor to Miley, you're, um... you're at a Kardashian level of trashiness right now. Which one? Does it matter? Ugh. I'm gonna change. (chuckles softly) Text me when you're done. Okay. Lates. (air conditioner clicks on) (baby crying over monitor) (baby continues crying) (sighs) (clears throat) (dialing) (muffled phone ringing) (ringing continues) (Hawaii Five-O theme song plays) ♪ Hawaii Five-O 6x22 ♪ I'ike Ke Ao (For the World to Know) Original Air Date on April 22, 2016 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man ♪ ♪ MAN: Thanks (woman giggling) Thank you. Keep the change. (giggles) Oh, that was fun. Oh, yeah. Night's not over. Ooh, save it for the bedroom, cowboy. Or... Or what? Well, we still have the sitter for a half hour. Thought we'd give the hammock in the backyard a try. (laughing): Oh, please. I am not taking you to the emergency room for a sex-related injury. (scoffs) All right. Open the door. Addison? MAN: Mr. and Mrs. Hiller. (gasps) Don't be alarmed, I'm with STS Security. (baby coos) I was dispatched to check on an alarm incident. Why are you holding my baby? She was crying. No one else was home. I don't understand, if the alarm went off, why didn't anybody call us? (groans) Oh, my God! Please don't do this. Please. KAMEKONA: For thousands of years, man has taken to the sea, building vessels to conquer the mighty ocean. Now, after nearly a year of planning, months of robust pre-sale, finally time for my inaugural voyage of my latest and greatest enterprise: Kamekona inter-island booze cruise. Congratulations, big guy. We knew you could do it. Well, not to be a killjoy, but as ship medic, I do have to advise that consuming alcohol could severely impair our ability to operate this vessel safely. Well, as the first mate-slash-DJ-slash bartender, I got one thing to say to that: Overruled. Boom. I'd like to throw out a special thank you to my bruddah from another mudda, Steve McGarrett, for generously offering his services as nautical consultant for this test run. Pro Bono, I might add. Yeah, we, uh, we firmly established that I won't be getting paid, so why don't we christen this lady, and get her out on the water? I'll drink to that. Although I do have to admit I am perplexed by the name that Kamekona has chosen for her. I didn't pick it, Doc. This boat is from a HPD property forfeiture auction. Re-painting wasn't in the budget. Not after he blew it all on this. Oh! STEVE: Wow. Yeah, that's impressive. Cuz is a straight-up wizard when it comes to branding. All right, all right, let's make this official. McGarrett, want to do the honors? Really? What, you couldn't spring for a bigger bottle? It's a ceremonial gesture. Ceremonial, okay. (clears throat) To the sea, to the sailors of old, and to the SS Thong Magnet. (phone ringing) MAX: Mazel tov. McGarrett. Oh, no. (sirens wailing) (tires screech) Chin, what do you got? Joel and Susan Hiller. Housekeeper arrived this morning and found them tied up on the floor. Their infant daughter, however, was left untouched in her crib. I thought this was a kidnapping. If the parents are accounted for and so is the kid, who's the victim? KONO: Addison Wells. 22 years old, originally from Minnesota. She's currently a senior at Oahu State. She started babysitting for the Hillers six months ago. CHIN: Parents are getting on a flight to Hawaii. Minneapolis PD is up on the phones, but so far no ransom call. Well, I think if they wanted a ransom, they would've taken the kid. I agree, the Hillers have deep pockets. But the kidnapper was interested in Addison, not a payday. Okay, putting motive aside for a minute, why did he abduct her from here? That's a good point. Seems risky. Well, Addison lived on campus and the access to the dorms is tightly controlled. So grabbing her here may have been his best opportunity. Right, it also means he was stalking her long enough to know her schedule, right? KONO: Yeah. CSU ran diagnostics on the Hiller security system. The alarm was disabled from a remote location just prior to the abduction. Kidnapper must have hacked it. That takes considerable skill. Well, skills he's got. He hacked the entire house. Everything connected with the home's network, from the thermostat, to the baby monitor, the security cameras, even that laptop that belongs to the Vic. All right, get this computer to Jerry. Let's sit the Hillers down with an HPD sketch artist. If our perp went to this much trouble to abduct Addison, I hate to think what he's gonna do to her. KONO: Were you two close? Yeah, I'd say so. Was she seeing anybody maybe? Does she have a boyfriend? No, there was this guy she met online, but that didn't pan out. Why? What happened? I don't know. They never actually met face to face. They e-mailed back and forth for, like, a month, and then it just suddenly ended. How come? Did she say? No, I asked. She clearly didn't want to talk about it. But I think the guy really creeped her out. KONO: Hmm. Do you recall if she ever mentioned this guy's name? Jeremy. JERRY: Meet Jeremy F. His online dating profile showed up on Addison's browser history. I also found a trove of deleted e-mails between the two of them going back over a month. Just scanning through them, I'd say their correspondence could best be described as, well, "intimate." Yeah, one problem. This photo doesn't look anything like the composite sketch we got on our perp. There's a pretty good reason for that. Knowing that many people often misrepresent themselves on the Internet, I did a reverse image search, and the photos were stolen from this guy. He is a collegiate rugby player from Melbourne, Australia. His favorite movie is The Shawshank Redemption, and his social media profile is set to public, which means that anyone in the world can download these images. Okay, so Jeremy F took this guy's photos to catfish our victim. JERRY: Exactly. And once Addison realized this, she sent him a strongly worded e-mail, threatened to call the cops if he ever tried to contact her again, and that's where the correspondence ended. And I'll just bet this creeper couldn't take no for an answer. So he started stalking this poor woman until he could find the perfect opportunity to grab her. Okay, Jerry, we're gonna need to trace these e-mails. I hear you, but our kidnapper is no amateur. He was smart enough to send the e-mails through a secure socket tunneling protocol. CSU's working to break the encryption, but it's gonna take time. Jerry, that's time we don't have. Come on, I mean, this girl's life is at stake. Well, unless you know of some computer genius who can do the work of an entire crime lab in half the time, we're out of luck. Actually, I know just the guy. FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Here's your sunrise cocktail, sir. Thank you. Ah. Oh, please, God, if you exist, prove it to me right here and now. (quietly): Thank you. (coughs) (clears throat) Hi, excuse me, um, is that you on the cover of that magazine? Oh, boy, that's so embarrassing. My publicist insisted that I do it. My name's Adam. My friends call me Toast. Mia. I should probably know who you are. Not unless you're a gamer. Yeah, I created one of the fastest grossing mobile games of all time. We hit ten million downloads in the first month. Oh, wow, that's incredible. That's what Tim Cook said. But enough about me, what is it that you do? Um, I'm a model. I was just in Lanai doing a swimwear shoot. Ah. Swimwear, very cool. (chuckles) So, what brings you to Los Angeles today, Toast? Waffles. What? (chuckles) Well, not just waffles, fried chicken too. Have you ever been to Roscoe's in Hollywood? Uh, yeah, sure. It's great. I don't know if I'd travel 3,000 miles for it. Yeah, well, clearly you're not as dedicated to excellent waffles as I am. But if you're free later, I'd love to take you to breakfast. You do know we land at 5:00, right? I don't do time zones. I do, however, very much enjoy a good breakfast, hence the name. You're funny. And you're mind-blowingly attractive. (coughs, clears throat) (clears throat) You're gonna just pretend like you didn't see us or what? Hey. Jersey. McGruff. What a coincidence. You guys going to LA? No. No, and neither are you. Impeccable timing as always, fellas. Thanks to you, I am not having chicken and waffles with a bona fide ten. DANNY: Hold on, hold on. Stop. You? You created Poopie Penguin? Yeah. Unbelievable. What's Poopie Penguin? That's right. What's Poopie Penguin? What's Poopie-- what are you-- you live under a rock? Poopie Penguin is a game that you play on your cell phone where you're a penguin, and you're flying around in the air, and you poop on people's heads for points. Penguins don't fly. No. They do in my universe. Let me explain something to you, my kids, Charlie and Grace, they play this game non-stop. Must have spent $100 on it just last month. Yeah, that's the beauty of in-app purchases. Yeah, I don't think there is anything beautiful about it. I think that it is a scam. You're ripping off children is what you're doing. I mean, you give them the app for free, and then they got to pay if they want to keep playing for the power-ups and the boosts or whatever you call it. You're like a drug dealer pushing dope. First taste is free, then they're hooked for life. Don't hate the player, hate the game. I hate the game, I do very much. Would you please stop and let him focus? He needs to focus. This is important. (sighs) I'm just curious, how do you think of something like that anyway? Ah, simple. A, poop is funny. I'll give you that. B, it's relatable, everybody poops. And C, it's easy to monetize. I mean, biology tells us that in order to poop, you have to eat, and I control the food supply. All right with the biology, okay? You sell 99 cent virtual penguin food, all right? Get over yourself. (computer beeps) Winner, winner, chicken-waffle dinner. You got a location? I do. It looks like those catfish e-mails were sent from an office building downtown. (elevator bell dings) Toast, talk to me. Keep going about ten more yards, and then head right. Signal's tracing to a terminal in the far corner. Can I help you? You got a beautiful family, Mr. Mintz. I imagine they're not gonna be too pleased when they find out that their old man is an online predator. Please, you have to understand, I'm not a bad person. Okay. Look, Addison Wells found out who you really were, and then all of a sudden she-she ends up missing. H-How do you explain that? Now, look, I admit that I misrepresented myself to Addison, but I had nothing to do with her disappearance. It was all just a fantasy. I never planned on acting on it. Chin showed Mintz's photo to the Hillers. They don't seem to think he's our guy. I'm not surprised, look at this. Mintz was perving on at least a dozen other women, and he was actually at this terminal chatting one of them up last night. He logged off around 11:00 p.m. Okay. There's no way he could've been in Kahala at the time of the abduction. ADDISON: Please. Please. Please. Please let me go. I don't want to die here. Please. Please let me go. (Vivaldi's Requiem, Dies irae plays over headphones) JERRY: Toast just did a sweep of Addison's laptop. Found something the crime lab missed. Spyware. And she had it bad. I'm not talking about the kind that slows your computer down, and gives you pop-up ads for boner pills. I'm talking about Cherry Bomb. What's "Cherry Bomb?" It's like Microsoft Office for black hat hackers. It's a suite of malware that includes key loggers, root kits, and fingerprint evasions Real scary stuff. The thing is, we found the executable file that infected Addison's system. It was installed over five months ago. So the spyware landed on her computer before she was catfished by Mintz, which means that it had to be her kidnapper who infected her. We find out who's behind the hack, we found our guy. Okay, guys, I don't know who attacked Addison's computer, but I might know someone who does. (hip-hop music playing loudly through car speakers) Dude, what are you doing? Just keeping it real. I don't want the old crew thinking I sold out. Why do you think we parked two blocks away? DANNY: I can't believe this. We're sending Scooby and Shaggy in to work this lead. (intercom beeps) MAN: Password. Joshua. Nice. Joshua was the backdoor password that Matthew Broderick used to access the Cheyenne Mountain Nuclear Complex in the 1983 sci-fi classic War Games. That's right. Your nerd credentials are in order, you may enter. (dubstep music blares over speakers) So, which one of these lovable rogues is our Han Solo? 10 o'clock. In the bean bag chair. He goes by Null Legend. He authored Cherry Bomb. (laughs) Well, look at this. Captain Bird Turd is slumming it with the code jockeys again. What, did you blow through your millions already? Nope. I was hoping you could help my boy here. See, someone's been using Cherry Bomb to creep on his sister. Sorry to hear, but I just give people the tools to hack, it's up to them to do so responsibly. Besides, my customers pay top dollar to stay anon. Except they're not so anonymous to you. We both know that you keep records of all your buyers, so that way, if the heat does come down, you've got someone to roll on. Let me be clear, okay? It's not that I can't help you, it's that I don't want to. And I think you know why. This is going great. About as well as I expected. Okay, all right. Okay, it's obvious you two have some history, but can we just take a step back and focus on my problem? Hold that thought, Jerry. Patrick here was about to tell us how I stole his idea. First of all, very uncool using my real name, and second, you did steal my idea. Here we go. Okay, remember? We were blasting a J in the Zippie's parking lot and a bird dropped a deuce right on my shoulder, and then we started talking about how that would make a cool video game. Yeah, but in your version the player was just an average dude who was trying to avoid getting pooped on. It was my idea to make the player the pooper, not the poopee. Plus, when I brought it up to you a couple days later, you said, quote, "That's the dumbest idea ever," enquote. In my defense, I was sober when I said that. Okay, look, Null Legend, or Patrick, whatever your name is... It's Patrick. Patrick. ...the customer you're protecting, the guy in this picture, he kidnapped a girl. Dude, your sister was kidnapped? No that was just a clever ruse. I'm actually with Five-O. And all I got to do is say the word, and the cavalry will storm this place, seize every computer in here, and arrest your entire crew. How many customers are gonna want to do business with you then? I can't believe you narc'd me out. I can't believe you're still running Linux on a 32-bit Samurai stack. Get out of the dark ages, dude. Also, get us that name. (softly): Yeah. (Steve grunts) Let's get HPD and CSU down here, tear this place apart. (siren chirps, indistinct radio chatter) (siren wailing in the distance) DANNY: Yo. Okay, so this place is leased to a guy named Jacob Holm. Neighbors have not seen him for at least a couple days. Well, it probably means Addison was never here, right? Okay, so this is what we know about Jacob Holm. He worked in I.T. at a local law firm. That was, until he was fired for downloading confidential files off the company's server. Yeah, Holm's bosses agreed to drop the charges if he just returned the stolen data, but instead he turned around and leaked hundreds of e-mails to the press proving that the law firm was wrapped up in all kinds of dirt. They were destroying evidence, covering up fraud, even threatened witnesses. When the story broke, the press branded Holm a "hacktivist." He ended up serving 18 months of a five year sentence, and, uh, he was released last July. Where'd you find all this stuff? Folder in his nightstand. Ah, so he's proud of it. He thinks he's a hero? It doesn't make any sense. I mean, Holm's one prior arrest was for a crime that was ideologically motivated. All right, how does a guy go from hacking a law firm to kidnapping a college kid? Ahoy, Captain! Ahoy. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a backseat sailor, but just want to make sure everything's all right with the ship. All good, bruddah. Why you asking? Well, it's just that, according to my calculations, it appears that we've travelled approximately ten feet in the last 40 minutes. What? How is that possible? It appears that our vessel is currently becalmed. I would put the wind speed at a one on the Beaufort scale. English. There is no wind, hence the boat isn't moving. KAMEKONA: Flippa! Flippa! (retching) What gives, brah? You're supposed to be my GPS. Sorry, cuz, I got seasick. I see why our navigation system's on the fritz. Well, leaving your first mate in charge of the liquor may not have been the most prudent move. Don't sweat it, Doc. I got an auxiliary engine just for this situation. (engine whining) I assume you checked that the battery was charged before we set sail. This thing has a battery? Mayday. Mayday. This is the SS Thong Magnet needing emergency assistance. And I'm afraid the radio is powered by the battery as well. And we lost cell service a few hours ago. Why are you so calm about this? Well, I project outward confidence as a way of coping with stress. Inside, I'm terrified. We're gonna die out here. Nobody's dying on my watch. All we got to do is send a distress signal up. Coast Guard will come and tow us to shore. (clicking) You got to be kidding me, brah. Must be a safety-- give it here. Sure, let the drunk guy handle the firearm. Great idea. Everyone chill, I got this. Well, there's no missing that. I heard you got something. Yeah, Addison wasn't the only person that Holm was spying on. Looks like he put spyware onto over 1,000 machines. He was targeting other victims. Exactly, and it looks like he may have selected one. He's got a folder with this guy's name on it, Jason Putnam. Whoa, that's a lot of data. Over a terabyte. E-mails, financials, recorded phone calls, he even has video and screen caps from a bunch of hijacked camera feeds. Who is Jason Putnam? My name is Jason Putnam, and I have something to confess. Over the past year, while working as a private financial advisor, I embezzled over $800,000. Mostly from elderly clients whom I believed were less likely to detect the fraud. JERRY: Jason Putnam posted this video to his profile three days ago and it immediately went viral. Uh-huh, so this guy's robbing old folks for their live savings. I imagine the Internet was not too kind. It was brutal. He was publically eviscerated. But since then, no one has seen or heard from him. His family contacted HPD 'cause they were concerned about his mental state. He's currently classified as an "Endangered Missing Adult." Okay, but clearly Putnam didn't go missing on his own. I mean, Holm kidnapped him and forced this confession. TOAST: Guys, check this out. Found these on Holm's server. They're camera feeds and they're live. All right, can we trace where they're coming from? Yeah, sure, but there's 17 of them, and they're coming from all over the island. From what I can tell, it's mostly abandoned buildings and vacant homes. Well, obviously he was staking these places out. Maybe it's where he was planning on taking his victims. That's what I was afraid of. Check this out. That's a body. What is it? This is the fallout to his confession. What do you think, he was making Putnam watch it? STEVE: That's exactly what I think. And then he left him locked up in here with only one way out. Thought we had lost you there, cuz. (groans) Get off me. What happened? You don't remember? We were just floating out there on that life raft. And I spotted land. That's right. You were so excited, you jumped up and lost your balance. By the time we got you back in the raft, you had swallowed so much water, that you passed out. Doc had to do mouth to mouth to get you breathing again. MAX: Ah. Glad to see you back on your feet, Captain. Where the hell are we? Now, that is a good question. My best bet is we're on one of the uninhabited islands of the Hawaiian chain. Most likely Lehua. Lehua? Now, all we have to do is survive until we get discovered. Fortunately, I had a have a head start on building the fire. I did it while you were unconscious. At least we'll be warm while we starve to death. MAX: Oh, nonsense. I also collected some crickets and caterpillars for our dining pleasure. They're an excellent source of protein. I grabbed what I could... before our ship burnt up. If we ration it, could last us a few days. Talk to me, what do we have? (sighs) Mochi balls. Love those. And a bottle of ouzo. Who's up for some sing-a-longs? MAX: That sounds delightful. Sorry, cuz. If I die first, I want you to eat me. Nobody's gonna eat you. So what are you saying, I'm not good enough for you? Why wouldn't you eat me? Guys, over here! Check it out, Doctor, regular MacGyver. Actually, it's basic physics. The lens focuses the light to generate enough heat to burn. Now all we need to do is stoke the flame. I'll do you one better, brah. Oh! - Yeah! Whoa. It's always nice to have flammable material. FLIPPA: And alcohol. All right, thanks, dude. All right, so HPD checked all the locations that Holm was surveilling, no sign of Addison. Okay, so this guy, he abducts Addison for a specific reason, but it's not 'cause she's young and pretty. No. It's because she's got something that she's hiding and this guy wants to expose her. Exactly, that's what he does, he prowls the Internet looking for victims who have dark secrets and then he forces them to confess 'cause... what, he's a vigilante with a god complex. No, this guy's face is all over the news. Okay, and that is why he didn't take her to any of those spots, right? I mean, he's smart, he knows we'd be on 'em. He's smart, he's also a psychopath. I'm not looking forward to seeing what this guy does now that his back's against the wall. Please. I don't want to die. I'm not the one who's a murderer. KONO: This link was just posted to Addison's profile page. It's a Web stream. It's about to go live. Toast? I'm on it. My name is Addison Wells. As most of you know, I was kidnapped last night. But what you don't know is the reason why. For years now, Toast, talk to me. I've been keeping a secret. He's got the feed on a five-second relay. It's being bounced off proxy servers all over the world. run from it, put it behind me, Well, can you trace it? but I wrong. I could if I had a few hours. I moved to Hawaii... Brah, we don't have a few hours. If we don't find this guy by the end of this feed, this girl is as good as dead. Yeah, enough with the pressure, man. And I haven't even smoked my morning bowl yet. ADDISON: The truth is I haven't been honest about who I am and the mistakes that I have made. And now I'm going to confess. We're running out of time. Five years ago in Pl... (playing upbeat song) What the hell just happened? She just got played off by Fatso the Keyboard Cat. Somebody deliberately knocked that feed offline. And that someone was me. Toast, what are you doing? I'm getting you your location the only way I know how. Holm can't reestablish a connection without exposing his location. It's genius. And what if he just decides to kill this girl? What then? Then I guess I'll look pretty dumb. This doesn't change anything. When that light goes back on, you say exactly what I told you to. It worked. He took the bait. Not so fast. I still have to zero in on his location. How long? 17 seconds, give or take. ADDISON: This is my confession. Five years ago in Plymouth, Minnesota I was driving my car late at night... when I struck a pedestrian, killing him instantly. In my statement, I told the police that the victim stepped into traffic and that I didn't have enough time to brake, but that was a lie. The truth is... I wasn't even looking at the road when it happened. (crying): I was on my phone, reading a text. Because of my own carelessness, an innocent man died. There hasn't been a day that's gone by that I haven't thought about it. I'm so sorry. Got him. (sobbing): I wanted to tell his family. I even wrote the e-mail that I was gonna send. But you never did, did you? Sorry. (crying continues) And now the world will see you for what you really are: a coward and a liar. 3236. You're letting me go? (soft chuckle) No. Even if I did, there would be nothing left to go back to, would there? But I will show you some mercy. (tires screeching, sirens wailing) This is Officer Kalakua requesting HPD and SWAT support. The address is 5625 Hoala Street in Waimalu. (gunshot in the distance) (groans, panting) (gun clicks) (Holm yelling in the distance) (panting) (screams) (groans) (whimpering) (Addison coughs, gasps) (grunting) (screams) (gasps, shouts) (screams) (yells) (groan, panting) (screams) (door slams in the distance) (panting) (grunting) We got blood. (gasps) You all right? Are you hurt? (gasp) (distant gunshots) I've got you. It's all over now. (ukulele playing) ♪ Watching people pass me by ♪ ♪ Anything to pass the time ♪ ♪ Weird to think ♪ ♪ We're all the same ♪ ♪ Completely different ♪ ♪ Ain't it strange ♪ ♪ Uh-huh ♪ ♪ Whoa, I see ♪ ♪ This world ♪ ♪ Surrounding me ♪ ♪ And I hope ♪ ♪ That someday ♪ ♪ That we can learn to love ♪ ♪ Just one more day. ♪ Wonderful! Thanks. Dang, cuz. You got to perform a gig at the shrimp truck. Pro Bono? At least until you win your first Grammy. (chuckles) Well, since we're on the topic of regrets-- you not pursuing your music-- I'll share mine. Years ago I had the opportunity to participate in Doctors Without Borders. It was a six month stint in Mozambique, but I decided not to take it. Why not? Well, you know, dealing with living, breathing patients isn't exactly my strong suit. That's why I took up a career in forensic pathology. Apparently, some people consider me awkward and off-putting. No, that's crazy. No way, Doc, not you. Thank you. And yourself, any regrets? Please. I'm a two-time felon. I own four businesses now. It's the oppa that acted arrogant before. Did the owner change? Wasn't this Daniel's shop? Did Daniel say that he's the owner? Daniel and I are both owners. Then, Daniel... I heard he was banned from entering our country. I don't know that fool. Even if his prohibition is removed, my store is off limits! But who is this Unni? Is she a doctor from the medical team from Korea? She is! That ethanol scent! Who is she? She is a full-time emergency relief team nurse assigned from Peace Maker. It seems she works part-time in the hardware store. Ah, she does a meaningful job, which doesn't give much money. I'm doing it because it's fun, and you don't need money. But then Oppa, are you a fortune teller? How did you know my full-time and part-time job? I think I heard it from Daniel, about his Korean-Russian wife. What do you mean "wife"? We're just comrades. But what did you come here to buy? There's everything except Daniel. Can we use the wifi? Wifi? Let's see, the fi is... Are you sure that the wifi works here? If you search thoroughly, I'm sure they will even have missiles. Wait here after you finish your business. It'll just be one hour. I'll leave the doctor here for a moment. Don't fight. She has a gun. Excuse me. Don't worry. I'm definitely sure there's a modem around here somewhere. On Friday at 0900, we apprehended two men who are assumed to be black market dealers, and passed them over to the authorities. Report complete. I got the report, but they're not some lowly weapons dealer at a local market. No one knows how deeply connected they are with anyone. I know that you, Alpha team, have no fear, but... they have neither fear nor law. You cannot pretend to be the UN to cross the border anymore. They know now, and have even dispatched the Korean army to patrol the border! We switched over. Take it easy. If things go bad, there's only so much I can do. Well, you know I have my people in high positions. Dead presidents. Congratulations. You just got promoted. Don't forget your present. They were smuggling arms (weaponry). In other words, merchants of death. It's best not to run into them. Hey, you know better. You and I both don't have much longer til we go back. If you go back, you will get promoted. I will get promoted as well. Let's avoid things that can be avoided. Alright? Yes, I understand! Write the report with detail. Yes, I understand. And take this. There is an order for an urgent transfer. For Master Sergeant Seo? It's an order to report to the Special Forces by the Commander of the Special Forces. I understand. You may go. Halt! Attention! -Powerof unity. -Power ofunity. Company 3 and Company 5, dine as usual! subtitles ripped and synced by riri13 Rest.-Rest! You've all suffered from training. Since I came here to eat, don't mind me and eat. Yes, I understand! Staff Sergeant Seo Dae Yeong. Staff Sergeant Seo Dae Yeong. You're dating my daughter, right? Yes, that's right. I worry about my daughter's future. So I wish you'd consider my daughter's future, too. I believe that you know the method, in the most sensible way. Is it a command? I hope it's not but I'm thinking of doing it if I have to. Until when we can be civil and honorable to each other, itisnowyourchoice. Yourgiftis on itsway ,MasterSergeantSeo. Imissyoueveryday. Powerofunity. Did you deposit it well? Thanks to you. But did something bad happen? My comrade has been commanded to return to Korea. The sheriff. Non-commission officer? You studied a lot. Are you envious that your close comrade is going home early Or are you sad that you're separating? I'm frustrated because the command is unfair. You said that you always follow a command.-This command is not by the Commander, but as a father. This melodrama with the entrance of Yoon Myeong Joo's father means they're still in the screening procedure. I've been curious since before How did Myeong Joo and Master Sergeant Seo meet? Fighting Team! Fighting! --Fighting! There was a joint march, and Yoon Myeong Joo was the Army Surgeon on service at that time. I'll carry the military gear for you, so I'll kill you if you give up. Yes, I understand! - Go on up. This is the third time you're here. What's wrong? - Take off your boots. It's great being the duty officer and first in your squadron, but you can be discharged from this military due to the current state of your feet. Staff Sergeant Seo Dae Yeong. Even if I do get discharged, I am determined to be first. I hope your determination to get first place isn't to get permission for a vacation, so that you can crash your ex-girlfriend's wedding. Nothinglikethat,right? That's right. Really? Really. Get out. Why here? We're going to that sea from earlier. It'll be better to go before we get busy. You said that it's far. Because it's far. I want to be with you for a long time. It's over here. Sergeant Major Seo ended up going to his ex-girlfriend's wedding. Together with Myeong Joo. If you're curious about what happened after, follow me. Together? Why did Yoon Myung Joo go? What's wrong? Congratulations on crashing your ex-girlfriend's wedding. Lucky for you, I'm also off duty. Isn't that a relief? I asked what was wrong. Is my question hard to answer? Is my answer hard? If you keep on wrecking her wedding the Sergeant Seo way she'll probably be relieved for breaking up with you. There's no way she'd regret it. But if you go with me, we can make her regret all night. That was what my answer meant. It's tempting. But I have a condition. First, turn the rear mirror around. She's an expert at breaking couples. But what was the condition? From here, I appear. The person that my father sees as husband material is coming in as a lieutenant. My father said he was my upperclassman in the army. He already came. It's been two days since he came. He came fast. Anyways, say that you're dating me. You don't like Yoo Si Jin? His appearance isn't my style. He looks like a girl. Cooperate? -Cooperate. I like your reason. Do you like my uniform? I purposely prepared a white dress. If I let down my hair and wear heels, I'm really pretty. More than the bride. How is it? So the concept for today is... You know if from first sight, right? Is it a virgin ghost? It's an angel. Let's go. So what you're saying is that the person that Myeong Joo's father approved of is you? Yes. Please wait here for a moment. - Let's go. - Wait a minute. So you are saying Sergeant Major Seo, Myeong Joo and you were a love triangle? Yes. Hold my hand. And it's still valid? - Yes. - Then how about your opinion? Why are you curious about my opinion? When was it that you dumped me... I am just asking. I am just asking. I am not curious about your opinion. Your earlier facial expression seems very curious. Sit. Hold on tight. And don't fly away. ♬ Without a word, it keeps growing ♬ ♬ I can't leave things this way ♬ ♬ How did I end up falling for you like this? ♬ ♬ I don't know the reason ♬ ♬ Why are you keep lingering around me? ♬ ♬ Whatever you do concerns me. Whatever you do makes me curious. ♬ ♬ Why are you keep lingering around me? ♬ ♬ What do I do? I keep thinking of you ♬ ♬ What's the use in talking? What's the use in talking? ♬ ♬ Don't make me take my eyes off of you like a fool ♬ ♬ Will you try to say it? Will you try to say it? ♬ ♬ The love inside my heart. You are my only one. ♬ This place is really extraordinary. How could there be such a place like this? It's pretty enough to make me faint. Then come again. People of Urk believe that if they take the pebbles from this beach, they will be able to come back here for sure. Here. You just lied, didn't you. If what you said were true, you think there will still be pebbles left here? They would have been all gone. The people who came back must have put the pebbles back to their rightful place. The legend is beautiful. That ship is also very amazing. I can go in there, right? But how come this ship is here like this? Because it's bewitched. If you become bewitched to a beautiful place, you become like this. Have you ever been bewitched? Of course, I have. I think you know. ♬ When I look at you, everything stops ♬ ♬ I'm not sure when it started ♬ Now that I think about it, I still haven't heard your response. Have you been well? Are you still sexy in the surgery room? I think you misunderstood. I didn't come here to do the volunteer work with good intention. A higher up dragged me down for a little bit. The place he sent me to was here. And now, I don't do surgeries anymore. Looks like I didn't have enough skills for surgeries. I will go back soon. I will have to go back to the place I was in after I go back. I am very busy. I see. ♬ My tear's confession ♬ ♬ Your love which flutters in the wind ♬ ♬ Whenever, wherever you are ♬ ♬ Whenever, wherever you are ♬ Okay. Here. When you come to a place like this, you eat like this. You will have the memory of this taste forever. It's finished. The taste is perfect. Prepare your spoons. Dig in! I'll go in first. He always makes his family status apparent. Even so, taking the egg yolk for yourself isn't right! Senior, did you just dig in with the spoon you just ate with? Seriously. I won't eat it. We are doctors that need to keep our health in check. How could we share a bowl with a spoon? So I just starved instead. Nothing else is hard, but the fact that warm water doesn't come out and- You scared me! Honey, I will call again. Hey, you... Please give me something to eat. If I come here, I heard you guys give out something to eat. I couldn't come yesterday. Talk to me from there. From there. You can't go around touching people's clothes with those dirty hands. Hey! He vomited while suddenly fainting? Yes, he was lacking in nutrients so I gave him an IV bag. His voice was normal. It doesn't seem like pneumonia. But it also doesn't seem like malnutrition is the only cause. His condition is really bad. Aches between the liver and stomach? How about lead poisoning? Lead poisoning symptoms don't appear this suddenly though. By chance, was he sucking on something? Yes. He was sucking on his fingers while asking me to give him something. I don't know what he was asking me to give. Dirty. Dirty. Eat this. Me. Me. Me. We'll have to start with detoxification, so give him some IV drip with some nutrients and vitamin C, as well as EDTA Are you saying it is lead poisoning? It's anemia caused by malnutrition. But because lead was ingested, the red blood cells (RBCs) absorbed the lead since it was receiving any nutrients. Since the lead intake increased too quickly, it became an acute poisoning. Captain is awesome. I'll bring the medicine. Let me know when he wakes up. I can translate some stuff for you. I will be grateful if you help out. But from now on, let the medical team take care of medical-- If you're grateful, all you need to do is be grateful. - What do you mean? - You said that life has dignity, and there is no higher value nor ideology than that. I'm saying that you seem too different from the Dr. Kang I once knew. Anemia from malnutrition and symptoms of iron poisoning are illnesses that rarely occur nowadays in Korea. In this country, they are as common as the cold. Even if these illnesses are rare in occurrence, it would have been nicer if a doctor who knew about them came. Of course, that is true. However, not all doctors in this world are like Schweitzer. Of course. There needs to be doctors who appear on TV. I'll get going first. The entire area of medicube is under FPCON (Force Protection Condition) BRAVO. FPCON (Force Protection Condition) What's going on? Is there a war going on somewhere? If so, I'm going to treat the enemy forces, too, since I took the Hippocratic Oath. The entire medical team is commanded to gather. Is the area of interest Medi Cube's field hospital? A VIP patient is being transferred to Medi Cube. How much time do we have? It's President Mubarat of the Arab league, who was returning from his unofficial visit to North Urk to establish agreement on a Middle Eastern peace treaty. As a royalty of Abu Dhabi who is third in line for succession, he has been involved in solving disputes and reaching peaceful agreements between political groups and border control. He is known to be a key player in these matters. He's a strong candidate for the Nobel Peace Prize for his role in the Middle Eastern peace treaty, but to his opposition, he's their number one target for assassination. Get the car ready. I'm headed to the Blue House. These are the medical records sent by the VIP patient's doctor. Okay. What is this? If everything is censored, what exactly do they want us to read in order to diagnose? In VIP patients' charts, there are more lies than truth anyway. You mean, they record false information on their patients' charts? What kind of crazy doctors would do that? Doctors like me. Similar to how poor patients need doctors like Schweitzer, VIPs need special doctors, too. To VIPs, their medical history can be their weakness. That's why a president's health status is a national secret. - What's the situation? - Nothing special. Emergency treatment is being performed. Okay. Even the Blue House has been briefed of this situation, so keep me updated down to the little details. Got it. Blood pressure is 175/110, pulse is 100, and heart rate is 70. Blood pressure is high, pulse is fast and irregular, and he is drowsy. This appears to be hypoglycemia. It said in his chart that he has diabetes. Do you think it's a problem with insulin? Let's take care of that first. Please get D50W (Dextrose 50% in water) started as IV. Wait. This is a prescription from the president's doctor. Nitroglycerin? A vasodilator? Why? This patient is a diabetic, and he's having an adverse response to insulin, isn't he? I told you that the chart is not to be trusted. If you switch the diagnosis with the symptoms, it makes sense. He's not having hypertension due to hypoglycemia. He's having hypoglycemia due to problems with his heart. Please give this to him. His blood pressure is suddenly dropping too much. Open the lines and give him IV fluids. What's this? Abdominal distension? Hey, what's going on? What's the situation? Abdominal distension and drop in blood pressure? Hemoperitoneum? (Bleeding in the abdominal cavity) He is bleeding into his abdominal cavity. There is something else that they're hiding about this patient. I'll be able to tell once I open him up. - I'm going to do an open abdominal surgery. Get the operating room ready. - Yes. Hands off! I can't let you do that. I can't let you operate on him. The president's doctor will be here in an hour. What do you mean? He won't last an hour. If I don't operate now... not even 20 minutes. I can't allow just anyone to put a knife through the leader of the Arab world. You are not listening. He will die if I don't operate in 20 minutes. Hands off! Only Arab doctors can operate on President Mubarak. Everyone, hands off, and step away. Fine. I'm not trying to change history here. But as soon as I take my hands off, he will die. His blood pressure is dropping even further. Listen carefully. Whether he lives or dies is not the matter here. The point is who will take responsibility for it. Do what the Arabs want. So if the patient dies, we can give the responsibility to the doctor for not operating as her personal mistake. Our force will not intervene at all costs. This is an order. Can you save this patient? What? I won't know for sure until I open him up, but somewhere in the biliary tree, there is bleeding-- Enough with the complicated stuff. Just tell me whether or not you can save him... as a doctor. You bastard! What are you doing right now? Answer me. I can save him. Then save him. Timing and subtitles brought to you bythe Sunshine Team @ Viki ♬ But you know, I ♬ ♬ I can't have a life if you're outside of it ♬ ♬ The time which is colored by you and me as one ♬ ♬ Is the only time which will fly ♬ ♬ I love you. Thank you. ♬ ♬ Please give me a warm hug ♬ Descendants of the SunPreview There's about to be a war! I'm going to kill you all for mutiny! His blood pressure is dropping too much too suddenly. There's too much bleeding. What are we going to do? If something bad happens to this patient, aren't we all going to die? Dismiss Captain Yoo Si Jin of his duties for disobeying command, and... get ready to place him under detention. So then, why did you do something that useless? Useless? ! Because of me, one person's life--I haven't seen Captain Yoo around... Did he go somewhere? According to military code, he'll go to prison for disobeying command. How could you not know this, when you're the one who argued to proceed with the surgery that everyone was against doing? FERON: The day you die is just like every other day. You wake and dress and eat and drink. Just like every other day. You don't see death coming. Or hear its approach. Because you are too busy living. (CONSTANCE MOANS) Too busy enjoying your life. Sating your appetites. (EXHALES DEEPLY) (CLINKING) (RATTLING) (CROWD EXCLAIMS) (RATTLES SOFTLY) (GUNSHOT) (CROWD CHEERING) Thank you. FERON: Rich man or beggar, it does not discriminate. (BELL TOLLING) Death doesn't care about fleeing your demons, or making amends for them. It doesn't care about any of that. It cares only that this is your time. Your day... to die. (FERON CHUCKLES SOFTLY) (BLOWS AIR) And this is the Musketeers' day. (SPITS) (FERON SNICKERS) No mistakes this time. (GRUNTS AND PANTS) Of course not. GRIMAUD: By dusk, Athos and his friends... will be dead. (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) (CHUCKLING) (PANTING) (EXHALES DEEPLY) Next time, try not to wait until the bottle's kissing the ground before shooting. - (CHUCKLES) - It's not good for the nerves. Next time, don't choose such a small pebble. I could barely hear it. (WHEEZES AND LAUGHS) - Here's your share. - Thank you. Thank you. You boys are expensive to feed. (LAUGHS) Especially you. Come on, give. (MUMBLING) Half of that. D'Artagnan, this came earlier. Porthos! It's a letter from Treville. We have to meet General Verdet's aide in Bourgogne, and escort him back to Paris. He has news from the front. What now? No, not now, go to sleep. The war will wait. The three of us are to leave immediately. By "immediately", I do presume you mean after breakfast? Since I've paid for it. D'ARTAGNAN: I think we should wait for Athos, let him know where we are going. Wait how long exactly? (DOOR OPENS) I'm going to have to start charging you lodgings. You're here so often. Is this a complaint? Do I look dissatisfied? - (LAUGHING) No, no. - (GRUNTS) I will not be responsible for distracting the Captain of the Musketeers from his duties. After all, the King and Paris depend on you. (LAUGHING) I'll... I'll get breakfast. (ATHOS GRUNTING) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) (CHILDREN LAUGHING) I saw you... on the battlefield? (BOTH GRUNTING) (GROANS) (GROANING) - (GROANS) - GRIMAUD: Defend yourself, Captain. Or where is the honour in killing you? - (GRUNTING) - (GROANING) (CHOKING) (GUNSHOT) (GRIMAUD GROANING AND BREATHING HEAVILY) (SYLVIE GASPING) Athos! Let me help you. Where is Grimaud? Dead. I shot him. (BREATHING HEAVILY) Show me. He was there. I shot him. He fell right there. The others are in grave danger. GUARD: The Governor is here to see you. I'm not receiving visitors. You have not heard what I have come to say. When this is over, Philippe, and justice has been served, you'll pay for how I have been treated! I am a son of France, a prince of the blood. And yet you lock me up here like an animal! (CHOKING) (FERON BREATHING HEAVILY) It doesn't get any easier, this killing. (BREATHES DEEPLY) You better swap clothes with him. (GROANS) Hurry. We don't have much time. GASTON: I take it the King doesn't know about this? No. You really think it's necessary to go after them? If it's the slightest chance they are walking into a trap, yes. TREVILLE: What is so urgent, it couldn't... Did you write that? No. I'll get the cadets ready to leave. That message is a forgery, designed to lure Aramis, Porthos and d'Artagnan into an ambush. Who did this? Grimaud. You saw him with Feron? Were they in deep conversation? It certainly looked like it. An alliance with Feron puts the Red Guard at Grimaud's disposal. - Sir? - Saddle up. (COUGHING) My clothes, bring me my clothes. (LOUIS SCOFFS) When I said ordinary, I didn't mean ugly. We can alter them again, Your Majesty. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) No, it's too late now, this will have to do. Louis, why don't I accompany you? I know how difficult today must be for you. Anniversary of your father's death. I've already arranged an escort. Thank you. Now, where is my money? D'ARTAGNAN: Hold, hold, hold! (HORSES GALLOPING) Do you hear that? - How many? - Five riders. Maybe more. Hyah! Shh. Shh. (HORSES APPROACHING) (NEIGHING) PORTHOS: Red Guards. Aramis, you are to return with us to the palace. The King commands it. We have business, on behalf of Minister Treville. Are you questioning a royal order? No, believe me, if we were, we wouldn't be taking it up with the messenger boy. (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) If you come now, you won't be arrested. Very well. I'll see you back at the garrison. Get him some food. You'll stay here until nightfall then, we'll take you out of Paris under cover of darkness. And please don't draw attention to yourself, hmm? Where are you going? I must make sure my absence has not been noted. But I will be back. Oh, and remember, if any of Grimaud's men ask your name, it is? - "Victor". I know. - Yes, quite right. (CHUCKLES) Victor! Suits you. (EXHALES) (CHUCKLES) And to Victor, the spoils. (DOOR OPENS) (GROANING) (BREATHING HEAVILY) (CONTINUES GROANING) (BREATHING HEAVILY) (YELLING) So, you're my benefactor. You're the man behind all this. (PANTING) Don't worry. There will be time to discuss how you can... (BREATHES HEAVILY) repay the debt. (COURTIERS LAUGHING) LOUIS: Do I make a good Pilgrim? Well, Feron, am I transformed? No garments, no matter how dreary, could disguise Your Majesty's regal bearing. What do you think? I think it would be safer if you were accompanied by a royal guard. Why must you question my every decision? Why? I am angry now. I was happy before and you have made me... (COUGHING) (CONTINUES COUGHING) The Musketeer Aramis, as requested. You are to accompany me on a pilgrimage. A pilgrimage, Your Majesty? Well, you are a man of God, Aramis. Or so you say. I was once. But now, I am just a soldier and your loyal servant. Well, perhaps it is time we reacquainted you with your God. ARAMIS: Yes, Your Majesty. LOUIS: We leave within the hour. Why would the General's aide choose to meet somewhere like this? That's a good question. - Let's go see what's inside. - D'ARTAGNAN: I'll wait here. (GRUNTING) GRIMAUD: Aramis is back in Paris. What's going on? He has been summoned back by the King. They are going on a pilgrimage, (CHUCKLES) to the Royal Mausoleum. What about Porthos and d'Artagnan? Marcheaux assures me they continued with their journey. (BREATHES DEEPLY) Perhaps it would be better to reconsider our plans. No! It's too late for that! How many guards are with the King? Oh, Aramis, alone. Then wait for them outside the Mausoleum and kill them both there. (SCOFFING) You... You mean the King as well? (CHUCKLING) We cannot kill the King. We have to. Athos saw me. There's no going back now. My dear fellow, that would be treason and foolhardy. Louis is already dying. I hope you are not having doubts, Feron? You are asking me to kill my own brother! If you don't, then he will discover your betrayal and hang you. And if he doesn't, I will hang you! Thank you. You will kill Aramis and the King. Very well. (LAUGHS) Now we found a nice spot in the shade, we can wait. Properly. Come on, come on. That's it, good... (WHISPERS) Please be good, please be good, please be good. (SNIFFS) Oh, this could turn out to be a good day after all. I imagine the General's aide will be a little while longer yet. (LAUGHS) How many battles did we fight, eh? (CHUCKLES) - Too many. - Hmm. Yeah. We've served our country, often and well. So if we are rewarded with the odd mission like this, I won't complain. In that case, I'd like to propose a toast. To easy missions, well earned. To easy missions well earned. Ooh. (HORSE WHINNYING) PORTHOS: What's wrong? Wait. - (WHINNYING) - Look at the horses. - I don't see anything. - Me neither. - Did you see that? - No. Opposite roof. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Shh! PORTHOS: Not the wine, not the wine! (GUNSHOTS) Well, that answers that. How many do you reckon we got? I'm not sure but I think we can assume it's more than two. PORTHOS: Yeah. - My ammunition's out there. - Yeah, mine too. - How much have you got? - Not enough. (GRUNTS) When you were, uh, searching before, you didn't happen to... No. No other entrances or exits, and there's no way we're getting through these windows. Of course not, because that would be to our advantage. Okay. (INHALES DEEPLY) You had to throw it out, didn't you? Of all the junk in here, you had to throw out the one cask of wine to be shot to pieces? Well done. "Easy missions, well earned", Porthos. (WHINNYING) (GRUNTS) ATHOS: Cadets! Time to go! Grimaud certainly left his mark on you. Getting caught unarmed and unawares, doesn't sound like you? A mistake I will not make again. We ride hard. (CADETS URGING HORSE) It's eight hours until dark and what is it? Four shot balls left. Eight hours, four shot balls, not the most encouraging number. Besides, they're not going to let us live until dark. - (GUNSHOT) - That would just be stupid. (GUNSHOTS) D'Artagnan! - (GUNSHOT) - (MAN GROANS) Come on. Come on. (GUNSHOTS CONTINUE) The last thing they're expecting is for one of us to go out that door. (LAUGHS) Because that would be suicide. Cover me. (GRUNTING) PORTHOS: Come on, come on, come on. D'ARTAGNAN: Yes, yes, yes. PORTHOS: Good, good. What we got? What we got? What we got? - Oh, you beauty. - (LAUGHS) Lovely work. (GUNSHOTS CONTINUE) Flush them out. Use the gunpowder. (MAN SHOUTING ORDERS) (VENDORS SHOUTING) ANNE: Why else would Louis choose Aramis particularly to be his personal guard? He knows. CONSTANCE: You don't know that for sure. The King has hated me for five years. I know things have been difficult between you but... Our marriage has been for public show. In private, he's ignored or slighted me at every turn. You need to stay strong. You're still the Queen of France. Perhaps not for long. Do you think that the King would want a scandal that could endanger the throne? The Dauphin is his son, the King could never admit to anything else. I had hoped that everything with Aramis was over. Forgotten. Is it? I mean... Has it ever really been over, for you? Monsieur, your generosity will not be overlooked or forgotten. The Bible says that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven. That is true if the rich man does not repent of his sins. But all who renounce Satan and are contrite are welcome in the house of God. LOUIS: Mmm. I will pray for your soul. Word's spread that a man is visiting churches, handing out money and a crowd is gathering outside. I suggest we return to the palace immediately. Do you believe in heaven and hell? Yes, I believe I do. That a man will be punished for his wrongdoing, for his sins? Yes, Your Majesty. So do I. I wish to visit the tomb of my father in Saint-Denis before we return to the palace. (SNICKERING) Ah, after all the battles I've been in, I cannot believe that this is how I'm gonna die. Watching the last barrel of wine spill into the dirt. I'm sorry about that, by the way. I know. Death is mocking me. You know we're not going to die today. You might want to tell them that... I'm not ready, not here, not like this, not now. (LAUGHS) And I've too much left to do. And I can't die without seeing Constance's face one last time, can I? Or laying eyes on the children we will have together. Seeing them play, holding them in my arms, and teaching them how to ride and shoot and love. No, this is not my day. I have none of that. No wife, no children, no one. You have friends. - Great friends. - Mmm-hmm. I have no doubt that one day, you will have a wife and child of your own. Yeah. Yeah, one day. And I won't let anyone take that away from me. They won't kill us today. BOTH: We refuse to die! (BOTH GRUNTING) (SHOUTS) (EXPLOSIONS IN DISTANCE) (URGING HORSE) Porthos! Aramis! D'Artagnan! (HORSE WHINNYING) TREVILLE: Come on. Quickly! Dismount! Help him! (GRUNTING) Wait here. I should go with you. You should do as I say. (DOOR OPENS) Philippe, you remembered too. Twenty-five years to the day since our dear father's death. Do you remember the funeral? The streets of Paris lined, 20 deep. I... I could not attend. Bastards can be embarrassing. You are blood. You are my blood. (EXHALES DEEPLY) Philippe... You are the only one I can trust. The only one who has not betrayed me. (SOBBING) Oh. - Oh, come... - (CONTINUES SOBBING) (SNIFFLES) I have something to show you. Come on. _ For me? Of course. Who'd have thought it, Philippe... (INHALES DEEPLY) Of all my family... I have a great favour to ask you. Anything. - After my death... - Many, many years from now. I want you to be the Dauphin's familial guardian. To protect him and educate him. Provide him with wise counsel, so that when the time comes, he will be equipped to reign. I will treat him, the Dauphin, as my own son. I know you will. (GRUNTS) (BREATHES DEEPLY) (GRUNTING) (PORTHOS BREATHING SHAKILY) (SOFTLY) Oh, please... Please. (PORTHOS GRUNTS) Please, d'Artagnan. D'ARTAGNAN: It's not our day. (GRUNTS) PORTHOS: We refuse to die! D'ARTAGNAN: (MUFFLED) We refuse to die! (GRUNTING) (GRUNTING) You took your time. D'Artagnan... Keep searching. D'Artagnan! ATHOS: Aramis! Aramis! - He's not here. - ATHOS: Huh? He's not here, he's with the King. From the palace. (SIGHING) Gaston has escaped the Bastille. And the King and Aramis have not returned from the Mausoleum. This is not a coincidence. ATHOS: We ride for Saint-Denis. (GRUNTS) And I would apologise for the surroundings. But I imagine, as a soldier and a priest, you are well acquainted with death. More than I'd have wished. Yes, I too am acquainted with death more than I'd have wished. Death has a grip on me. One I cannot break. I am so sorry. I don't want your sympathy. That's not why you're here. But there is something I need from you, Aramis. Without it, I will not find peace. A truth I need to hear from your mouth, and don't lie. You and my wife may think I'm a fool but I am not a fool. I know. Say it. It will serve... no purpose. You are a musketeer. You only exist to serve my purpose. I am ordering you! Why dredge up the past? Admit! Admit you slept with the Queen! I slept with the loneliest woman in Paris. Don't you dare make excuses! This woman suffered years of neglect and betrayal from your part. So are deadbolts and a rottweiler. Hopefully some of this blood's the unsub's and we can pull DNA. Lyla Brewer's body was found in the hallway. Her husband never made it out of bed. He must have been killed first. Well, it makes sense. Eliminate the primary threat before moving on to mother and child. Mrs. Brewer spent some time stumbling around out here. And in the child's bedroom and in the bathroom and in the study. She covered a lot of ground before dying. There are, uh, fresh scratches on the floor here. Too heavy for her to have moved. What if the unsub did it to block the top of the stairs? Seal off the child's escape, maybe? Or prevent a blinded Mrs. Brewer from taking a fall? Strange that he'd be concerned for her safety right before crushing her skull. I don't get it. If the goal was the child and Jim Brewer's attack was quick and lethal, why did the unsub let Lyla stumble around for so long before finally killing her? Good to see you again, Dr. Reid. Nice to see you. Again? Yeah. We had a case here 4 years ago. The tornado guy. That was one for the books. So do we have a C.O.D. on the victims? Mr. Brewer's was massive blood loss from a severed trachea, most likely a thin-bladed serrated knife. And Mrs. Brewer? Her skull was fractured. Some type of blunt-force trauma. It's highly unusual for a killer to use different weapons on different victims. Speaking of unusual, take a look. Corneal tissue samples from the eyes of each victim. Mr. Brewer's on the left and Mrs. Brewer's on the right. Mrs. Brewer's has many more macrophages. That's right. It's a natural immunological response to a foreign substance. Huh. The white blood cells in Mr. Brewer's sample are completely normal. Plain English--his eyes didn't react to the glue. Plainer English-- he was already dead when it happened. Garcia's not coming up with much. The Brewer family was well-liked. No known enemies. What about registered sex offenders in the area? There's over a thousand in Wichita alone. Garcia's checking them out. Agent Hotchner. The body of a young boy was just found. Where? Prairie Creek Road, a few miles from the crime scene. The description matches Ronnie Brewer. The child's body has not yet been identified, but there is growing fear that it could be Ronnie Brewer, the boy missing from the attack here in Wichita last night. Stay tuned-- Hey, Hotch, we're done here. It's definitely Ronnie. I recognize him from the family photos. Body temperature and state of rigor indicates that he's been dead 7 to 8 hours. So he must have been killed immediately after the abduction. It doesn't make sense. All the effort put into taking him. Well, maybe the compulsion is about the pursuit of the child rather than the child itself. Well, if that's the case, he's gonna try again soon, with someone else. Josie! Time to come in. I'm texting with Gaby. In a minute. That's what you said 20 minutes ago. I want your homework done before dinner. Unfortunately, all of the blood at the Brewer crime scene was either from Lyla or Jim Brewer. Nothing from the unsub. I just talked to the M.E. Ronnie Brewer died from asphyxiation but had not been sexually assaulted. Unless strangling the boy was the sexual release. Or it could have been the unsub's first abduction and he panicked, disposed of the child immediately once he had him. The M.E. also said that the type of glue in the Brewers' eyes is frequently used for surgical closures, so the drying process on the skin in well documented. Apparently it had been applied at 5:15 am. Well, the farm hand said they saw that gray sedan flee the scene at 6:20, so if that was our unsub, what was he doing in the house for that hour? All Josie ever does is stare at that phone. It's not normal. She's 13. It's normal. Girls her age should be out doing things. What's so funny? Picturing you a hundred years ago. "Motor cars aren't normal. What the hell's wrong with the horse and buggy?" Good night. Good night. The glue our unsub used is sold practically everywhere, so we can't isolate point of purchase. A mineral analysis from the sand, however, indicates that it came from the Seneca River in upstate New York. You ok? Yeah. Morgan, we're gonna find the people who tried to kill you. He was in his pajamas. Ronnie Brewer. Out there by the side of the road, he was still in his pajamas. I'm sorry, kid, I, uh, I don't know, man. 6 months on the sidelines. I guess I still have a few blisters where I used to have calluses. I don't think that's what this is. Oh, no? Then what is it? You're about to be a dad. You know? You have to expect the world to start to feel different. It just feels so hard. Not as in difficult. Literally hard. Like asphalt is hard. Like pavement. And children are soft. Yeah. Defenseless. That's why every day we try to make this world a little safer. If there's one thing I'm sure of, is that you and Savannah are going to be great parents. Charge by the hour, Doc? Aah! Josie? ! Josie! Aah! No... Oh, my God. Eleven. Aah! So what do we know? Our father's dead, daughter's missing, but we may have caught a break here. The mother survived. Do you know if she's able to talk? No, she just went into surgery. JJ's at the hospital with here. But it's definitely our guy. Glue and sand in both parents' eyes and the father's throat was slit. I saw an alarm panel by the front door. It wasn't activated, but it did keep the computerized log of all home activity. Shows the back door was opened and closed at 3:35 am. And then again at 4:47 am. An hour, just like the other attack, but this time he left a witness. Well, he may have gotten sloppy and assumed she was dead. I mean, she was found unconscious in a pool of blood. Family have any other children? Just Josie, the missing daughter. - How old is she? - 13. Differential sex offenders usually cross age and gender lines only when their preference isn't available. And Ronnie Brewer wasn't sexually assaulted, so we may not be dealing with a pedophile. No, I don't think we are. This is something else entirely. We're looking for a family annihilator. We believe he's a white male in his early to mid-30s. He is intelligent, well organized, and meticulous. Family annihilators are often quick and ruthless, but this unsub prolongs the suffering of his victims. He appears to kill in stages. First the father, then the mother, and finally the child. The mother seems to be the primary target of the unsub's rage. She is forced to endure a sense of helplessness for upwards of an hour while her child is in danger. So we're dealing with a sadist? Yes, but not sadism as we typically think of it. Despite the savagery of the attacks, the killer does not derive gratification from inflicting pain. It's from observing the panic in his victims. The sadism is psychological. Something may have happened in the unsub's childhood where he felt unprotected. Perhaps his own mother turned a blind eye to a real or perceived danger. And this could explain the ritual of placing sand and glue in the parents' eyes, symbolically blinding them as punishment. Ellie Zumwalt survived her injuries, and this may discourage this unsub and make him more cautious. Or have the opposite effect. It could infuriate him and spur him to attack again soon, with increased violence. Residents in remote or rural areas and families with an only child should exercise extreme caution in the coming days. Thank you. Still no sign of Josie Zumwalt. And we scoured every inch of road in a 10-mile radius. Well, either she's still alive or the unsub did a much better job of body concealment this time. If he did kill her, why deviate from his previous disposal method? My gut says he's still holding her. But why her and not the Brewer boy? I'm not sure. But things didn't go as planned in the second attack. Ellie Zumwalt survived. Ok. Maybe it's like we profiled-- he has to kill sequentially, in the order of the Brewer family murders. So, until the mother dies, he can't kill the child. I'll have the hospital beef up security. Yeah. Guys. Take a look at this. Look at the mantel. The hourglass. Yeah, it isn't in the Christmas photo which was only taken a couple months earlier. Could be a recent purchase or they might have moved it there from some other place in the house. Except we know the unsub spends an hour at each crime scene. What if he brought it with him as a kind of timer? Ok. I'll have Sgt. Whitfield search the Zumwalt house for a similar hourglass. It's Hotch. Ellie Zumwalt is out of surgery and awake. Thank you. We appreciate you talking to us, Mrs. Zumwalt. We know this is a difficult time. My husband is dead, isn't he? Yes, he is. We're very sorry. What about Josie? Is my daughter all right? We're hopeful. That's why it's important that you tell us everything you can about what happened. I was asleep, and then there was a scream. It was Josie. I woke up, but my eyes wouldn't open. Josie kept screaming. And every time I went to where I thought she was, the scream came from somewhere else. We realize you couldn't see well, but could you make out any features about this man? No. He--he wore something on his face. They were like, um, I don't know, glasses. Like eyeglasses? No, no. Bigger than that. More like, um, like goggles. That's all I could make out. Did he speak? Only at the end. Eleven. That's all he said. "Eleven." Ms. Zumwalt, do your or anybody in the family own an hourglass? Police found this in your living room. I've never seen that before in my life. What you got, baby girl? What I've got is fail, fail, and more fail. Remember Thomas Alva Edison, Penelope. "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Ok, let me rephrase what I just said. I'm currently waist-deep in what is not working. Despite the distinctive craftsmanship, I cannot figure out who made these hourglasses, and I haven't been able to find a single person who recently relocated from upstate New York to Wichita. Something must connect our unsub to the Seneca River. All the sand in the world right here and this guy brings dirt from 1,500 miles away. Garcia, you confirmed that the hourglasses were handcrafted? Oh, for sure. We're talking topnotch museum quality, but not by any artisan known in the high-end glass-blowing community, and yes, there is such a thing as the high-end glass-blowing community. All right, look for boys ages 8 to 12 who were sexually victimized and/or abducted in upstate New York in the mid-1990s, all right? Ok. Hit you back if and when. They're analyzing the sand from both hourglasses now to see if it matches what was put in the victims' eyes. So far no prints or DNA. The unsub's careful. And precise. I calculated the width of hourglass necks with the average grain of sand having a .2-millimeter diameter and a volume of .0042 cubic millimeters. Given the weight of the sand, that's a gravity flow duration of 3,600 seconds. You know, obviously give or take a few. Skill level off the charts, yet his work is unknown. Not for sale, not even for display. This guy operates in a vacuum. Which speaks to the intensely private nature of his obsession. Mineral analysis just came in on the hourglass sand. Also from upstate New York? No, it's local. Most likely from the Platte River. What's the matter, Sergeant? It's what they found next to him in the sand. Human bone and tooth enamel. Please, don't hurt me. Please. - Hello. - Hi there. Uh, I was trying to call Hotch, but it kept going to voicemail. He's still at the hospital with JJ. What's going on? Ok, I did what man chocolate asked. I got this list. There are certain things that should never exist, and one of those is this depressingly long list. Does anything specific jump out at you? Aside from the horribleness of it all, no. You know, send me all the police, hospital, and child services transcripts associated with the cases. Everything on all of them? Yeah, I'll print out hard copies here. Ok. You're gonna need a forklift, and I hope you're using recyclable paper, but... On its way. All right. Thank you so much, Garcia. Why are you doing this? I never did anything to you. I don't understand. No, no, no. Please! Please, I'll be quiet. I don't want to go in there! I promise I'll be quiet. No, don't! No, don't! Please, I'll be quiet. Please! I want to go home! Please! I wonder what the unsub meant by "eleven." We know he measures the time spent in each house. It could be some sort of countdown. What are you thinking, Aaron? The hospital report on Ellie Zumwalt. Her injuries were minor. It was the gradual loss of blood that caused her to lose consciousness. Well, the unsub must have thought she bled out and left her for dead. That was his big mistake. I don't think there was a mistake. What do you mean? What if Ellie Zumwalt was never meant to die, that the mistake that the unsub made was actually at the first crime scene? The Brewer murders? The guy's a family annihilator. He killed them all. To me that sounds like mission accomplished. We didn't understand why he used two different murder weapons on Jim and Lyla Brewer. That's because there never was a second weapon. I'm still not following. Dave, you said that a large piece of furniture was moved to block the top of the stairs at the Brewer house. That's right. JJ and I assumed it was to prevent her from escaping. I don't think so. It wasn't to set her up for the kill. It was to keep her from falling down the stairs and killing herself. So her skull fracture was what, an accident? The victim was blinded, hardwood floors slippery with blood. She could have fallen and hit her head on a blunt object. That means the unsub's plan all along was for both mothers to survive. Exactly. But why? That's what we need to figure out. Josie's fate depends on it. Found someone. Who? Patrick Sorenson of Oswego, New York. He was on Garcia's list of potential victims. Abducted by a pedophile in 1993 when he was 9, raised by a single mother with substance abuse problems. A mother who was literally asleep at the wheel when the boy was taken. She was passed out drunk in her car parked behind their house. Mommy! The boy said he screamed for help, but the mom never came. Well, that explains the ritual of blaming the surrogate mother while she sleeps. And it gets worse. Listen to this. While Patrick was recovering in the hospital, the mother left a good-bye note on the kitchen table and was never heard from again. She abandoned him. The guilt must have been too much. Any idea of the whereabouts of Patrick or the mother? The mom never surfaced. Patrick went into the foster care system and moved back to Oswego, where he lived quietly up until 6 weeks ago, when he vanished without a trace. Garcia can't even find a picture of him as an adult, but... Read that part right there. It says here Patrick told authorities he got through the assault by focusing on sand." His attacker made him stare at an hourglass while the abuse went on. He was told that if he didn't cry until all the sand emptied out, he wouldn't be killed. So the trauma of the assault was fused with the image of an hourglass. And launched an obsession with time, so much so that he went on to build devices that measure it with extraordinary mathematical precision. And the police report says he was abducted on a Thursday night at 10:00 and was found released in a park the next morning at 9:00. 11 hours later. That's what he meant with Ellie Zumwalt. He was telling her the amount of time that he himself had been held in captivity. And that may be Josie Zumwalt's timeline. So the clock is on Ellie, not Josie. She's got 11 hours to give this unsub what he didn't get from his own mother. Josie was taken at 4:30 this morning, which means we have until 3:30 this afternoon. JJ, are you still at the hospital? Good. Here's what I need you to do. An apology? We can do it from here. This room, one cameraman, no reporters. I don't understand. The man who took your daughter left you alive intentionally. But... But why? Because he needs to hear you express how sorry you are for what happened. But it wasn't my fault. Josie knows that I didn't-- I know. You're not apologizing to Josie. In fact, don't ever mention her name. Just refer to her as your child. Don't even say daughter. You're really talking to the man who took her. Well, how do we know he'll be watching? My team's coordinating with local media to get the word out. He'll be watching. And if I do this, then he'll let Josie go? There's a chance, yes. Word just in from a local hospital that Ellie Zumwalt, recovering from injuries suffered in the latest attack on local families, is going to speak to the public within an hour. We don't know what this unexpected statement will be, but concern is rising for the hours passed with no word on her abducted daughter. Come on, Penelope, think. Patrick Sorenson didn't just vanish into thin air. There's gotta be some way that he... Oh, yes, there might be some Thomas Alva Edison in me yet. What do you got, Garcia? What I have got is Betty Cordray of Wichita, Kansas, which I know makes no sense, but actually, Betty Cordray is not Betty Cordray, she's Betty Sorenson of long-lost fame. The mother who abandoned Patrick. None other. Is she still in the area? No. She died 6 weeks ago of kidney failure, and then when the paperwork started, you know, the paperwork that happens when you die, her real identity was revealed and Patrick was called as her next of kin. That must have been the trigger. That's when he dropped off the map in New York. Yeah, and if he was holding out hope for answers from that mother one day, that hope was suddenly gone. Garcia, did Betty Sorenson own any property in the Wichita area? Nope, she lived in a studio apartment. Then after she died, was she buried or cremated? Uh... Neither. She was held in the morgue, Patrick was called to identify her body, but he never showed up. I guess she's still there? All right, I'll check it out. We're recording. This is a message for my child. If you can hear me, sweetheart, please listen carefully. There's something I need to tell you. I've been a bad mother, and I did a terrible thing to let this happen to you. It's all my fault. You deserve better than this. You deserve so much more. Even though I know you're brave... And you're not crying, you need to know I cried for you. You're so much stronger than I am. Stronger than I am. Honey, if you come home safely now, I promise I will love you and hold you and never let any more harm come to you. If you can hear me now, please call as soon as you can. You know how to reach me. I promise I will explain to you once and for all why I did what I did. Ok, it's over. You did great. You did great. We'll keep bodies on ice for as long as 3 or 4 months. If nobody claims them by then, they get buried on the city's dime. And Mrs. Sorenson's son never showed up? No, ma'am. We tried to track him down, but... This is it. Pretty sad. You live your life and you end up like unclaimed baggage. Hotch, we solved the mystery of the bone fragments in the hourglass. Patrick was going to have that reunion with his mother, one way or another. Patrick Sorenson has to be holed up nearby, but where? Someplace secluded, that's for sure. Hauling a corpse through the front door would tend to perk up the neighbors. Well, if there was an 11-hour clock on Josie Zumwalt, the bell just rang. Don't hurt me. Please. Please. Call her. What? Your mother. Hello? Mom? Is that you? Are you all right, sweetheart? I want to come home, Mom. Keep it going. Keep it going. You will. You will, soon. But first I need to explain to you why I wasn't there to protect you. What are you talking about? It wasn't your fault that-- Yes. Yes, it was. I need to explain to you why I did the things I did. I have an addiction, and it kept me from being the mother I should have been for you. An addiction? Why are you-- No, no, don't interrupt me, please. You just need to listen. Listen carefully. I know you're brave. I know you don't cry. But you need to come home. Come back to our house. He's not gonna let me. You have to come back to me! Do you hear me, Josie? Josie! Josie? ! Don't! Don't! Please don't lock me in here! Don't! Please! No! I just want to go home! Please! Lies. Lies. Lies! I said her name. I forgot. It's all right. Garcia, were you able to trace it? No. I was so close. But I have the cell tower it pinged off of. I just sent that to your phones. What's this area like, Sergeant? Mostly blue-collar residential. What about that area? It looks pretty secluded. That's where the old railroad spur line used to come into town. Mostly just abandoned structures out there now. We're on it. There. Gray sedan. New York plates. I've been a bad mother. I did a terrible thing to let this happen to you. It's all my fault. I have an addiction. You're so much stronger than I am. Time's up, Patrick! Drop the weapon! Yaaah! Ok, bet's to you, General. All right, I see you and raise you 10 bucks. Oh, hell, no. I'm out. Too rich for me. All right, that general's out. And the host makes 3. Ok, I'm really trying to figure out which one of y'all is bluffing. The retired marine general of Mr. Rock and Roll hall of fame over here. This hand's too good to waste on a bluff. Ooh. Is that the lyric to one of yours songs, Joe? All right, I think both of y'all are bluffing. So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna see your 10 and I'm gonna raise you 20. Mm-mm-mm. What you think about that? Step up. Seriously. "Never interrupt an enemy when he's making a mistake." Ooh! Sun Szu, "Art of War," a book I believe both of these generals my be familiar with. Come on, rock star. Ok, it's on you, Joe. Ok, ok. 3 kings. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Whoa! Full house. Marines have landed. Ok, I don't know if you're ready what I got right here. Oh, I think we're ready. Because in the words of Mr. Withers... Ain't no sunshine in these cards. Oh, man! All right, all right, all right. No, wait. We agreed 25% of every pot goes to the baby Morgan tuition fund. Much appreciated. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Where is this child going to school, Harvard and Yale? Hey, listen, I really appreciate you letting me rob you for the night, but, uh, I gotta get up out of here. Come on come on. For what? You get 25% out of each pot just for sitting there. - Ok, look here, pops-- - Said the weasel. Ok, ok, I clearly cannot compete at this table, but, uh, look, I gotta go hang out with wifey. We're taking those Lamaze lessons. Lamaze. Is that where they do the breathing that ease the pain? Yeah, it actually works. You know, you breathe fast and then slow, you know, like... I don't know, like-- like a dog or something. I wouldn't touch that line with a road crew tour bus. Do you remember everything you've ever touched? I'm just saying. Gentlemen, seriously, this has been a pleasure. Don't hurt yourselves tonight, all right? Take care of yourself. All right, Morgan-- All right. Later. All right, everybody in. Come on. Come on, let's go. Ante up. Ante up. "Lucky I'm sane after all I've been through. Life's been good to me so far." Joe Walsh. Hey. Hey, beautiful. How was the poker game? Mmm. Ah. Broke even. Oh. But... This little one chillin' inside your beautiful belly didn't do so badly. Whatever that means. Don't worry about it. There's, uh, one more thing. Garcia, she asked me about a week ago, who the godparents were gonna be, as in, hello, like I'm right here, like right in front of you. She'll be wonderful, but I have a few folks on my side of the aisle lobbying for the same position. Oh, Lord. So what are we doing, godparenting by committee? May have to be. Derek! == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man Some men reach high peaks to leave an indelible memory. Most of us are content to push forward. And very few are born to become king. Small that camera, is not it? - It's modern technology, Your Majesty. It's amazing that you can make movies with such a small device. How big is your team? - I'm the team. There's only me. You're perfect. We'll have a nice portrait of you, do not worry. But you're so tired. Sire, allow me, your speech. Mr Moreau? - Mr. Lloyd? I should arrange the microphone at His Majesty. Of course. The documentary Our king must point out the king's competence And his professional commitment. - I understand, Your Majesty. And he must grasp his vitality and spontaneity. Controlled spontaneity. - Sure. And smiles. Many people need it. It's the British specialty. And we must remember the Belgian spectators That the current conflicts between Flanders and Wallonia Are counterproductive. - Unbearable. The image of our king is the only force that unites us. That's why it must be perfect. - I understand, Your Majesty. Excuse me. - You are welcome. Belgium. Is it a real country or just a geopolitical compromise? I do not know. But he has a palace and a king. And a queen, who hired me to shoot a documentary about her husband, Nicolas III, the King of the Belgians. Mr. Lloyd, I remember the rule number one: no interviews. And rule number two: No improvisations. Sooner or later I would like to discuss this. His contract speaks clearly. Just follow the script. They did not know I was filming, which gave me hope. Here's the boring part. I follow their script and film the king who makes the king. Have you been here already? This is the first time. But the scene serves to appreciate this unlikely story. His own story. It's mine. Soon we will welcome Turkey In the embrace of the European Union. We Belgians, finding us in the heart of Europe, We will celebrate this historic occasion Giving the Turkish people our most beloved Mini-Europa Park. He has already sent me eleven messages. I do not know how I can do my job while I'm following this documentary. The Queen would not cancel her because of her annual cold. Sire. If you allow me, Mr. Bulut told me the evening program. At 18, show of dancing dervishes. No speech, just a few words. I remember not to mention Iraq, Syria, Israel, the Kurds, Armenia, Our federal problems, our debt, And, above all, football. It is a delicate topic. The gala dinner will start at 8pm. Nine courses. No kebabs? One two Three. Mr Moreau, are you sorry? Thank you. And action. Sire, the press conference will begin at 11pm at Miniatiürk. His speech, sire. The Prime Minister has made some changes. I remember that in Turkey, the handshakes are energetic. It's even shorter. Brussels insisted on brevity. Clearly, a consequence of my speech in Scotland. I thought I had improvised well. - That's right, sire. Stop. We repeat. Carlos, please. Sire, it is best to avoid any comment. Sorry. His Majesty? Very well. Yes, I'll be careful. I care for you, do not worry. I think so, yes. See you, His Majesty. Mr. Lloyd? The Queen told me to remember them To film the speeches from start to finish and to grasp the smiles. Do we do it again? Sire, the press conference will begin at 11pm at Miniatiürk. His speech, sire. The Prime Minister has made some changes. I remember that Turkey's handshakes are energetic. Stop. Perfect. Now we can go, sire. Mr. Lloyd, can follow us. It's really tiny. The Atomium? Yes, it's a fiasco. No. Well, that too. The space reserved for Mini-Europe. It looks like an extension of Turkey instead of the opposite. Mr. Moreau, excuse me. They just informed me Which unfortunately our president will arrive later. We can offer a visit to His Majesty and to the Belgian Ambassador Of the Miniatiürk Park while we are waiting? Mr. Moreau, what about the Atomium? The Turks have a lot to Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, Commander of the Turkish forces in the War of Independence And founder of the Turkish Republic. And they expressed their gratitude by building this colossal mausoleum. Freedom or death. He was a man with a clear vision, did not he? Yes. We all admire Kemal Atatürk, His Majesty. Listen to your vision, Turkey today would be a very different country. This is the last reappearance of the king running in the park like a puppet. There was going to be a news bomb and there would not be a script. Ludovic! Wallonia has declared independence! Belgium collapsed! Their declaration of independence is called 'We're Tired'. Fed up? About what? The valleys feel faint, humiliated, and misunderstood by the Flemings. They are tired. We must go back to Belgium immediately. We will arrive at the airport in ninety minutes. Ready? Could you repeat that? His Majesty the King wishes to speak to the Minister-Walloon President. Ready? Ludovic? - I'm sorry, but the line has fallen. My speech. I'll handle it Before we arrive in Brussels. No, Ludovic. This speech will write it alone. We must first analyze the political, diplomatic and protocol aspects With the head of the cabinet, which is now unreachable. And with the various federal ministers. I'm not sure which ones. Sire, now we have to watch every movement and gesture, every word. Be cautious, sire. Faster, faster. When the king made his oath, he promised To always protect the integrity of the kingdom. And that King is me. Unity is strength. Unity is strength. We have to put it. Carlos knew that I steal hidden pictures, but he let me do it. Carlos liked me. Some have a vision. Others have a dream. What does intuition tell you, sire? - My intuition? Perhaps this is the time to show who really is. His feelings, his humor, perhaps his faults. Defects have already been largely occupied by the press. Nicolas the Silent? Silence is dignified. Let them write what they want. - Sire. Sire. Did you talk to the Queen? - I can not talk to the Palace. And the Prime Minister? - Still unattainable. Do you want to be reached? We are ready. - Carlos, what does he do here? We will not go anywhere. - Why? There is an emergency meeting. - What the hell is going on? All flights were canceled due to cosmic interference. Excuse me, one that? - A solar storm, exactly. The satellites are dead, some are precipitated. For security reasons, you have to stay here. Here in Istanbul? - No, here at this hotel. All foreign dignitaries will be concentrated here. How long will we have to wait? - One day, one week. You do not know. Do you remember the Icelandic volcano, Eyjajafufukukul? Eyjafjallajökull. - Yup. I have to go back to Belgium right away. - I understand, Your Majesty. This situation is a disadvantage for everyone. I had to receive a promotion this week. If we can not fly, we'll be in the car. By car, through the Balkans? - Yup. Cross over those territories in such an unstable period Is definitely out of the question. Why never? Because they are the Balkans. So? I said the Balkans. - Yes and then? Unstable. Unstable. There is Bulgaria, Serbia... Romania, Albania, Macedonia... Excuse me. - His Majesty. Excuse me. We'll have a meeting. We will return. - All right. She must understand... - Sire. Wait a moment. We have to find a solution. It is not possible, Your Majesty. Sorry, I have to go. Mr Lloyd, not now. I try to speak with Turkish security and Mr. Bulut. Maybe even with the ambassador. I'm going to take the luggage. Sire, I see if there's a field above. Excuse me. Where is the Ambassador? One time, I documented wars and revolutions. Then I drank for a decade, persecuted by nightmares. Filming real families has put me back. Let's tell the truth, here was the story. But my position became more and more uncertain. So I devised a plan to stay afloat. Carlos, let's get him out of here. He heard what he said. - I know how to get from A to B. Do you mean B of Belgium? - What about B of Bulgaria? Thing? - See those lovely ladies? The legendary Sirens of the Sea of Mero. Folk singers. Their concert was canceled, And tomorrow they will depart for Bulgaria by coach. The protocol will never approve it. - Look, here's the plan. I ride a music video for them and they let us get out of here. Secretly. Forget it. Do not you want to bring the king home? - Sure. Maybe we should talk to her boss. Sire. - I can not concentrate. You are welcome. The coincidence between universes and the kingdom... The dysfunction of nature and man... The desire for independence characterizes every epoch, right? It gave birth to our kingdom in 1830, and now it will probably collapse. But what is the real nature of this independence? This so-called freedom? I have to find the way to touch the hearts of people. What does your heart say, sire? Carlos? Mr. Lloyd? But look at it as well. It's beautiful. It comes from the solar storm. Sire, there are no flights. No, I understand, Carlos. But we have an escape plan. Explain yourself. The Sea Mermaids. The Sirens of what? And action. No action. Look. Sir, please. Second shot. Sire, I can not take the responsibility of this farce. I understand, Ludovic. Now focus on her femininity. It is madness. We can not do it. - I agree, but it was decided. We have no other choice, now or never again. But Sire, we can not leave without protocol and security. In fact, Sire, it is undeniable that there are dangers. The dangers are everywhere, always. - But Mr. Lloyd will not come with us. Mr. Lloyd is the architect of our escape, Louise. It is very creative. - He comes with us, with the camera. We will film our return journey for people. And that's that. What do we do at Atomium? Mr. Lloyd? Come on, let's go. To tell the truth, I did not expect the king to endorse my plan. But we had to leave Turkey and return to the EU. Here we are, with a woman dressed as a king who reflected on the concept of freedom. Please, do you have to do it right now? Yeah I have to, I'm itchy. It's unbearable. I'm almost done. But what is it? Maybe it's the shock of the news. The secession of Wallonia. Think about how it feels. Do you know that we have many French words in Bulgarian? Really? - Yes, how... Lift. Bidet. I want to show her Mascia, Ivana and Pavlina. My three daughters. Three daddy. - Stay silent, Ana. Do you have children? No. All right. He still has time, he's a man. Made in Istanbul. It's better than the Bulgarian ones. I keep it. Look, he ate a coin. - A coin? Yup. An incident with the kebab. Border! Hurry. Finga being a woman. As the border guard approached, I was all in sweat. I imagined someone imprisoning me, he would take off my clothes And confiscate the camera. It's already done, you know. Fortunately, our clandestine escape coincided with another story. Sorry, Nicolas, but we're in a crisis of identity. Crisis? - We do not agree with anything. Anything. Anything. The old generation wants tradition, we merge. In Istanbul, we had to appear on television For the first time after so many years. Stupid storm. But Mr. Lloyd will make a music video. Yes, I hope so. The first shot was just to have fun. Maybe they just had to clear their minds. The real canton for the video is a cosmic classic. Then, Mr. Lloyd, his flight plan ends so? Miss? - Ana. Ana, yes. Can you give us some information on transport? Yes. Sofia is on that side. Thank you. A taxi? Or a bus? Not exactly. Maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow? And what about that car? Can we buy it? \ No, no. It's too old. It has not worked for years. The Sea Mermaids were heading right to the Sea of Mero. We had to go to the left, towards Sofia. The case wants Ana to live at that intersection. My mom will help you find a solution. Hello. - She'll take you. Thank you. - Come on. Sit. You are welcome. Nicolas? Sauces for kebabs. Maison. I did it. Brava. This is yogurt with... A species of... Like this one. Yes, 'tell'. - Tell her? Yes, 'tell'. Let's say 'tell'. - Tell 'Tell'. It's a great sauce. This is mayonnaise. This is vinaigrette with... With garlic. - Oh yes. And this is 'Iyutenitsa'. It looks like ketchup, but it's natural. Do you want to taste it? I? Mr. Lloyd? What's up? OMG. The Turkish security officer. Jesus Christ. I think he would have accompanied us to Sofia's embassy. Absolutely not. The escape of the king would be a humiliation for the Turks. It could cause a diplomatic incident. Bulut would bring us back to Istanbul to overthrow the scandal. Let's go home. In ambulance. Ludovic, we have to stop shooting right away. Mr. Lloyd, that's enough. - Well, Louise. Duncan filmed the trip. Ludovic? Sire? - I would like to drive. Excuse me? He heard me. Given the circumstances, for insurance and safety reasons, I think it's better to handle his moves. Ludovic, let him drive. I do not want interferences from the waiter. - Ludovic. The clutch does not work well. Do not stay in the first place, sire. I'm in the third, Ludovic. - Excuse me. Death for a turtle. You can not die that way. His real reflections had saved the beast, But our vehicle had gone to a better life. We were there, in half at Bulgarian nothing. Listen to maps, hear phones, hear no one in sight. Only the sky was looking at us. My dear fellow citizens... In these difficult times... In fact, foreign... And under this mysterious sky... We must be humble. I like it. I have to find something destined for people. Yeah, maybe. Since when did you go to the king, Carlos? When does he ask for my opinion? My dear Carlos, I have three degrees and three positions as an ambassador And nine years in service of the king. Let the advice I give you. Mr Moreau, I have the patent for the helicopter, I did the chief scout for five years And I can stand under water for three minutes. I see that Belgium's suffering is the least of her worries. Strength, enough with the suffering of Belgium. Let's go. Mr. Lloyd, just wait. Let's go. What do you think, Ludovic? Do you have any suggestions? No, that's fine, sire. Link heaven to the present situation of our country... It's a good comparison. It's not too much... How are you saying that? Go on? - Sure. Louise, who's the lucky one? - Sorry? The ring. If you really want to know it, it's Pierre-Armand. Let me guess. French and you've known studying law, right? Did you dig into my past? - It's all online, baby. Tell me about Pierre-Antoine. - Pierre-Armand. And I'm not his treasure, Mr. Loyd. - Call me Duncan. Me dia. Hey, stop. We have to go to Sofia. Sofia? - Yup. I'll help you. - Can we go up there? Let's go. I'm Nicolas. - Nicolas? I am Yuri Angelov. - Angelov. Angelov. Like angel. - Like angel. Let's go, but be careful about my little girls. Wait. Slow down. All right? An angel had come to our aid, with enough fruit for us all. I... I moved to the countryside. In nature, I found myself. Now I am very strong. Very strong. - I see. Tap. They are melons. I trust fruit. Melons? And so on. Overnight, the king and the angel Have reflected on the matter of watermelons, About the future of Europe and the nature of happiness. And now? We will find the way to arrive at the next embassy in Belgrade. First we find a bathroom. I really need to recharge the batteries. What we need now is food. What's up, Louise? - All right, thank you, sire. Is the kebab good for you? - Perfect. His Majesty. Good morning. - Mr Bulut. Mr Moreau, I recommend eating fast. I'm here to get you back to Istanbul. I'm sorry, sorry we will be grateful to accompany us to Brussels. Mr Moreau, let us avoid a useless scandal. Mr Bulut, I think she is out of his jurisdiction. A knocking king will not prevent Turkey from entering Europe. I understand your concerns... - I do not mean to lose the job, After thirty years of loyal service. This does not apply to you Bulgarians. Back, back. Louise! Strength, let's go! What is going on? - The Turks! Our suitcases! Ludovic, passports. I have passports with me! Where is your house? My home is in Belgium. In Belgium. In Brussels. This is your house? Where is your house? In Sofia. - Sofia? Yes, we are Sofia. This means we are in this region. We shot here somewhere. I see. We are headed there, we are not far from the Serbian border. Mr. Lloyd? Mr. Lloyd? It looks like we're with a jury. - A jury? Yes. A jury for yogurt. Now we have to go. Now we have to go. Sorry, but... Ok. Okay, okay. Ok. No problem. - Thanks for everything... It was really nice. - No problem. Do not worry. - No, no. Be happy. You have our support. Farewell to all, ladies and gentlemen. - Thanks for everything. Thanks... for the bus. Nicolas. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thank you. I have to go. We have to go back to Brussels. Come on in, Victoria. Then she is the mayor of this beautiful village. Well, I have no other choice, so I'm the mayor. It is a big responsibility because I love these people and I want them. I want... That they are happy. It is difficult to understand what happiness is. It is not conditional. You can not say: "I will be happy if I have this, if..." When you say 'if', it means you're not happy. That's why we're all happy here, hear 'yes'. I heard from somebody here in this beautiful country, She did the stuntman. Yes, I was the stuntman coordinator, but it's just one of my professions. I'm black karate belt and I have the fourth level of Shotokan. I have... I'm a diving instructor. I was the first Bulgarian to cross the Swim Channel. Do you know where the Channel is? Between England and France. But I... I've never seen a mayor and bare feet. Occasionally, when I go to the capital, I put my sandals or shoes. But I usually walk barefoot, even with snow and rain. My feet are far from the head so I do not have to think much about it. Thank you so much, mayor. - Thanks for the hospitality. Thank you and God bless you. - Thanks so much. This was... Belgian television in Bulgaria. Carlos? Sire? Do you believe in real privilege? I believe in her. As a person. I mean... The institution that unites people. Louise? Do you believe in the monarchy? For me, it is not a question of believing, but of respecting it, sire. Is it your personal opinion? Yes, it is my personal opinion. Ludovic? What do you think? The monarchy Is the highest expression of dignity, Of grace, Great ideas! The coincidence of the universe and the kingdom... The dysfunction of nature... If you let me, sire... We will have to present it to the Prime Minister because... We do not have time. We will have a little while we return. - Yes, but... As soon as we arrive... The Prime Minister will never accept her First hear him ask him. Yes, but the Prime Minister... I hear things... \ It's strange. This experience is like... Like a gift. Here, among the people. I understand, sire. They're so welcoming and open, and... Here people do not have much. Here people do not have much. But I'm still... That must be the Serbian border. Let me do this this time. Sire? You will not want the protocol to waste time, right? No protocol, Ludovic. Carlos, take the camera. Hello. - Passports, please. Good morning. Do the Serbian phones work? - No phones. How come the welcome concert? - It is the Serbia In Ball dance campaign. The state wants us to give a positive image of Serbia to foreigners. Go for a walk. You have a familiar look. It looks like Miss Serbia 2005. 2006, for precision. It was only for a month because the competition was in May And in June Montenegro declared itself independent. Since they are from Montenegro, they gave the title to a Serb. Bitch. I remember this story. In Belgrade they got stubborn and they gave me this job. It's not a happy ending, right? I'm sure, Mr. Duncan Lloyd, This is a very interesting job. Serbia enjoys dancing. - Thank you, I'll do it. Goodbye. Goodbye. Incredible, I really recognized it. The Finns. The capital of the Falklands? - Stanley. The first country to adopt Christianity? Armenia. The first atheist state? I have no idea. - Albania. Does he make you happy? Does the camera make you feel right to dig in the lives of others? It depends. And what noble purpose? The search for beauty... And the truth. Okay, give it to me. - Thing? The camcorder. Me dia. - Not for idea. Yes, yes. - Not gonna happen. Strength, me dia. Then, Mr. Duncan Lloyd... Are you serious? - Only when I can not breathe. Did you really recognize that border guard? A few years ago I made a film about Balkan beauties. How do you speak Serbian? - I've been here during the war. We have a problem. It must be from civil war. - No, there were floods. Do you see all those locked woods there? Water has passed. A nice nuisance. This is not a scene with a destroyed bridge. It is a scene with a very different obstacle. An obstacle to me and my past difficult. Duncan! Duncan Lloyd! It's me! Dragan! OMG. What the hell are you doing here, man? I? What the hell are you doing in my Serbia? Get your camcorder and movie. Dragan, brother. - Duncan the Beone. My friend. You lost your hair. - Yes all. Your beautiful hair. - But you found your belly. Oh, my friend. My crazy brother. Who are these people? - My crew. Nicky, the sound engineer. Carlos, operator help. Our manufacturer, Ludo. And Louise, my assistant. - Hello. Boys, this is a special man and my dear friend. What are you doing here? Let's make a program about Turkey entering Europe. Excuse me, are the phones working here in Serbia? Where is she from? - From Belgium. Belgium? Maybe he does not know, but his country is a coat. Yes, we know it. - What a pity. You are at the center of Europe and you do not know how to keep your mini-country together. Nor is his country a good example. Ignore, Dragan. - He is right, I like it. We are mythical matter, Lady Louise. The Balkans are the Balkans. There is love. I hate it. It's love. The Falcon was called by Dragan. I made a movie about him, titled "Tycoon". He was a champion at the Sarajevo Olympics. Then he became a sniper during the siege of Sarajevo. That's where I met him while I was locked up with the Serbs. Are you serious? - One thing? A sniper. - A sniper? Then... What is the plan? - We do not complicate things. Do not we commit? What does it mean to her 'not to complicate things'? We do not reveal who we are. A king's knee would go a long way to many of these parts. I do not want to go. - Quiet. We eat and go. I'm not hungry. I do not want to go. And so, I found myself facing two of my worst nightmares: Dragan the Falco and Rakia, the Balkan lubricant. Cheers. We have said more than once. More than once. A million times. But do you know something? Now... Now you can do the second part of the documentary. Can you say something, please? Thank you. Thank you, Nicky. Dragan, how would you describe your life? Well... Everything happens differently, you know. Nothing was what I wanted it to be. You are perhaps the only one who knows that is true. But now I just try... To feel felt pain. And it would be enough for me now. Describe the pain. Do not ask me this, please. Remember picker? Of course I remember it. I and you have lived the whole war. Do you remember when you called me and you told me not to get out? Why do you ask me if I remember it? - Why did not you want it to go out? What do you think I did not do? It would launch my career, but I heard you. And I did not quit it. You... You just... Did something that no one else would have done. And I... I can not believe you did it. All right, I admit it. I tried to convince Dragan to get him out, but I did not succeed. My chosen movie shooter will never see the light. But the king had listened carefully to every word. You do not like it? - Yes I like it. That's just the beginning, try again. Drink rakia. - He does not like. You have to make it fast. Look at me, my friend. Look, like that. Do it, do it, and after that you will feel better. You do not like it? - Yes, it's very good. Then I drink it. And the country is 'hello'. Belgium, your country, is 'hello'. Half and Half, or... - Maybe. Maybe. And what... What did you find out? Is Turkey closer to Europe? I think so. I think that... - And US? You do not want to. You want Turkey, right? - No, well... well... But how? And when? - It depends... We've heard these bullshit for centuries. Well, at least ten years, okay? And it never happened. We are about to sneeze this exquisite Serbian pork. Lady Louise, a gift for you. She's a little... You know. How do you say? - Tail. Do you want to taste it? - No thanks. But you have never tried it. Assaggiala. - Probate, burglary. You have never experienced it. - Monna, tell her to try it. You have to taste it. Yes, is... But it hurts. - Thank you very much, but... She barked and tossed it. She does not like the queue. I do not like it, but you're sitting on mine. My dear friend. Go straight and then left. Right, right. Sorry, right. Nice, huh? Oh, fuck. Louise? Is it his version of the disciple? She takes, takes and takes, is not it, Mr. Lloyd? For what noble purpose? Good morning, Ludovic. - My jacket. Thing? - My jacket. Thing? - Passports. I left my jacket. What did you say about passports? - I had the jacket when I was at the table. Did you leave passports there? I'm sorry, sire. We left the passports. - Thing? Christ, you will know now that we have lied. You've been drinking all night. - We have to get out of this way And leave the Balkans. Believe me when I say That it is best not to make him piss, that guy. I can assure you that there will be heels. So, are we now pursued by a crazy Turkish and a crazy Serbian? The quickest way to go is to cross the sea to Italy. But there is another border. Montenegro. Let's go. I drive. Sire? Ludovic? I am very ashamed. I know. I have to resign. No, Ludovic. He served me well, I count on her. I failed completely. No, nothing at all. Sire. Here is the frontier. That was the frontier, sire. Yes I know. I'm sorry about last night. No problem. I can ask her a question, Mr. Lloyd? Sure. Why did not you ever show anyone the movie Typer chosen? Dragan asked me not to do it. And why? He thinks the dark side of the moon should never see the light. And do you believe it? No. But if I had to distribute the movie... It would have destroyed it. Another question, Mr. Lloyd. - Sure. Did you pick up your finger? Goodbye. This boat is a scrap, it's impossible. For centuries it is not in the water. What a scam. I already have sea sickness. They did not have passports or money, so I bought a boat. Not a very good one. Are not there any ferries? Are you sure? He asked? - Yes, there is nothing else. Look at it wet it. - It's better than it looks. Wood is rotten. Look at how the wood is reduced. Have faith. We have no choice. Crossing the Adriatic on this? - You do not have to continue complaining. I'm not complaining. I'm realist. Mr Moreau? - Yup? The palace will pay me back for the boat, right? But of course, Mr. Lloyd. - I spent all I had. The west is from that side. At sea, the most direct route is always a curve, sire. Tell me a little, do you still have a future in Belgium? I mean, why split a peanut into two? Diplomacy and moderation They must lead us to the compromise, Mr. Lloyd. Maybe we should split it and that's enough. Wonders say they are tired. She is tired, Mr. Moreau? - I'm tired... Of simplifications and stereotypes. Carlos, tell me a stereotype. Wonders are lazy and take advantage of it. Mr Moreau? - The Flemish are arrogant. He did not hear you. - The Flemish are arrogant. Why do not we look at the positive side? Are There Stereotypes Positive? Wonders are warmer. More warm as people. Flemings are a bit more... perhaps... Creative and innovative. It looks like the old stereotype between northern and southern Europe. Like Germany and Greece. - He's right, Mr. Lloyd. Belgium is like a button holding a shirt together. Please, sire, come back. Be reasonable. Here, the king of the Belgians, naked like a fish. Is not it too cold? - No, it's perfect. Happy hear all 'if'. Come in, Ludovic. Is fantastic. A king whose kingdom collapsed... A king who wanted to go home... In his country... In search of the right words. I hear. I feel the tastes. I smell the smells. I see. All my senses are amplified. I feel reborn. Good morning! We arrived! Here we are. Good morning! Do we have a good coffee? Good morning. I am thirsty. Next up there... Carlos. They will be the local authorities. Good morning gentlemen. We came from the Balkans. This is the king of Belgium. We are a diplomatic mission. Excuse me? He is Albanian. She does not speak Italian? We are in Albania. How 'in Albania'? Oh, I do not believe it. Are you sure? - Yup. Let's go down and ask for a phone. Carlos, what happened? - They'll be the currents. How 'the currents'? - There are so many currents at sea. Well then we go down. We went to Montenegro. There we bought a boat there. We were to get to the sea. No, excuse me, in Italy. The captain of the Albanian port was not impressed. He smoked a lot While Ludovic tried to explain the situation. But nothing to do. For him, we were just the sociable. - Can I have a glass of water? Please... Drink. Passports. Yes, I know, but... If we had the passports She would understand who we are. I repeat that he is our king, Nicolas III, king of Belgium. What will we do about our king? What did the Queen want us to grasp? Its vitality... And his spontaneity. And smiles. And smiles. We need an official version of this story. Why not the truth? Ready? His Majesty? What a relief to hear his voice. Yes, he is here, right next to me. No, I mean, that's right... There is Mr. Moreau over here, I take it. Ready. His Majesty? Yes... yes, we're fine. And you? I mean, kingdom? And the political situation? Yes, I understand... The king is fine. We have a small problem. Yes, you too, I imagine... Excuse me if I stop... No, we are not in Istanbul. In Albany. We are in Albania. Yes, like Mother Teresa. In prison, His Majesty. Yes... Okay. Yes. Seeing Him, His Majesty... Why did you tell her about the prison? - I did not want to invent a story. The Chief of Cabinet will call you to this number. And then we'll call the guards. Now I'm off, if you do not mind her. Thank you, sorry. She does not answer. - Wait. I do not mean to wait. First, you must contact... It's ringing. Yes, we are healthy and safe... Did anyone explain it to you? Can you contact the embassy in Albania? Go call the guards. Lord? Lord? Ludovic and Louise were immersed in the protocol. Meanwhile, that little brother had returned to being a puppet. Sire, here's a clean shirt. I see. Agree. Goodbye. Mr. Lloyd, the palace has canceled Our King. Sire. The palace has canceled Our King. Ludovic, we are the Palace. Anything he has filmed will be censored. I'm sorry, Mr. Lloyd. But think a little. His story and my film will never see the light. Once again, my footage was being thrown away forever. But I could not blame him. After all, a king has no fate in his hand. At least, so I thought. Yes, that's fine, but we have to agree with Turkish security. Yes, our versions must coincide. Nobody knows. Well, no one knew about the king's identity. All right. Goodbye. Sire, I have the official version proposed by the Palace. We left Istanbul yesterday, accompanied by Turkish security. And our escape in the Balkans has never happened. Mr. Duncan Lloyd? I, King Nicolas III, King of Belgium... I authorize her to do what she wants With all the pictures and sounds Which he recorded from the day we were at Mini Europe. Any pictures, sire? Yup. Are you sure? Agree. His Majesty. Do you think this trip is due to chance or destiny? It must be fate. There must be something more than pure casualty. What makes you more scared? To be alone... "N Passenger. Do you think his kingdom has a future? Yup. Because? Because... I'm the king. You look perfect. This film will turn out great. Okay. You always look so tired. Sire, here is your speech. Unbearable. It won't retweet. She already sent 11 texts. How am I supposed to perform my duties and supervise the filming? The Queen didn't want to cancel it on account of her annual cold. Sire. Sire. Mr. Bulut notified me about the evening schedule. Dance of Whirling Dervishes at 6 p.m. A short speech at the end would be appropriate. Please refrain from mentioning Iraq, Syria, Israel, the Kurds, Armenia, our federal issues and debt. Soccer is a touchy subject as well. Banquet starts at 8 p.m. Nine courses. No kebab? Sire, the press conference in Miniatürk starts at 11 a.m. Your speech, Sire. The Prime Minister amended a few things. By the way, firm handshake is customary in Turkey. It's so short now. Brussels insisted on being brief. Apparently, after my speech in Scotland. I thought I improvised well. Very well. Carlos, please. Sire, I think you should refrain from comments. Excuse me. Your Majesty? Of course. I'll take care of it. I will see to it. I will. Goodbye, Your Majesty. Sire, the press conference in Miniatürk starts at 11 a.m. Your speech, Sire. The Prime Minister amended a few things. By the way, firm handshake is customary in Turkey. Thank you. Perfect. It's time. We should go, Sire. It's really small. The Atomium? That's a flop. No. Well, yes. Look at the tiny space for the European monuments... As if Europe is Turkey's annex. Mr. Moreau. Mr. Moreau, what should I do with the Atomium? Ludovic! Wallonia declared its independence! Belgium fell apart! Their declaration reads, "We are fed up." With what? The Flemish are arrogant. They humiliate the Walloons and don't understand them. They are fed up. We have to go back immediately. It'll take us 90 minutes to get to the airport. Hello! Please, come again. No, His Majesty wants to talk to the Prime Minister of Wallonia. - Ludovic? - There is no signal. What about the speech? I will take care of it before we arrive in Brussels. No, Ludovic. I will write it myself. But we have to discuss all the political and diplomatic aspects with the chief of the Cabinet of Ministers, and there is no signal. With federal ministers as well, I don't remember who exactly. Sire, we have to be very careful about every word and every move. Prudence is key. At the coronation, the king swore to preserve the integrity of his kingdom at all times. And I am the king. Unity means strength. Unity secures power. I'll add that. Some people have foresight, some have a dream. Sire, what is your intuition tells you? My intuition? Perhaps it's time you showed everyone what you are really like. Your feelings, your sense of humour and maybe even your flaws. My flaws were already exposed by the media. Nicolas the Humble? Humbleness is an honourable trait. Whatever they say. Sire. Did you manage to contact the Queen? I couldn't get through to the palace. - Prime Minister? - He is not responding. On purpose? - We are ready. - Carlos, what is he doing here? - We are not going anywhere. - Why is that? The Security Service won't let us. What again? You have to find a solution. We must get back home. I'll try and reason with the Security Service. Excuse me. Maybe the Ambassador will be able to help us. I'll go fetch the luggage. Sire, I will go and check if there is signal upstairs. Where is the Ambassador? - Sire. - I can't concentrate. The concourse... Conc... The concourse of cosmic and political circumstances... Functional disorder in nature... and man. I have to get through to people's hearts somehow. What is your heart telling you, Sire? The result of solar storm. Sire, all flights were cancelled. I know that, Carlos. But there is a way. What is it? Lili, stop it! I won't! Take a look at yourself! What is your problem? That's a disgrace! We have to try and be modern. Modern? We are folk singers, after all. So what? It's the right thing to do! Come on, stop all that nonsense already! - I won't! - What do you mean? ! Sire, I can't take responsibility for this mockery. I understand, Ludovic. Please try to be more feminine. That is pure madness! I agree, but the decision has been made. There are no other options. We take it or we leave it. We can't neglect the protocol and security measures. It's risky indeed. There is always a risk. Fine, but Mr. Lloyd is not coming with us. Period. What do we do with the Atomium? I'm sorry, but do you have to do it right now? Yes, it's very itchy. Almost done. I wonder how he feels. He is probably in shock. Wallonia broke off Belgium. You can imagine his distress. - Three papas. - Shut up. But it's true. Kebab accident. Border! What the hell are you doing? ! Cheers, my friends! The old generation, they want traditions, and we want fusion. Coming! - Hi! - How are you? Hello, my dear. Who are these people? Who are all these guests? Mother, they are from Belgium. They have to get to Sofia. They need a bus, can you imagine? A bus? Here? - Or a taxi. - There are no taxis here. We have to come up with something. It won't be easy. He'll think of something. Come, I'll help you. I'm sure he would've taken us to the embassy in Sofia. No way, Louise. The Turks may take offence at the King's frolic. It may result in a diplomatic incident. He would've taken us to Istanbul to avoid a scandal. We are going home. In an ambulance. Ludovic, the filming has to stop. - Sire? - I want to drive the car. Excuse me? You heard me. - I will miss you. - Jump in. Han Solo springt in den Millennium Falcon. - Hi. - Hi. And my donut? END I think he had a heart attack. - We write a song. - We write a song. - It is called "boat". - "Boot". He goes so ... Let's sing it simple. Stop to sit at home and mope. I can not bear. It's repulsive. And you do not like your mom. - And I do not even. - I had not had sex forever. OK. - It's about female empowerment. - OK. Women do not need self-empowerment. Stop it. No... - Oh my God! - I am going to vomit! - Why? - Who was that? - Hold on! - No. - Did you fart? - No you? - No. - Donald that keep under wraps. What's wrong with you bastards? Comedies are more difficult than dramas. So many years I wondered what I'd do if I ever saw him again and then I did, in a photo, in a briefing room and I was being sent to meet him with a gun. I don't think we should close the investigation into Danny Waldron's background. I'd like to keep digging. What's he saying? This man's a young Ronan Murphy, a suspect shot by Daniel Waldron during Operation Damson. What, they knew each other? Did you fabricate the improper relations between you - and Detective Sergeant Arnott? - No. - Did you fabricate the planting of evidence against you? - No. What is your verdict? Not guilty. It is with deep regret that I inform you all of the death of PC Rod Kennedy. Hari initiated the struggle with that gun and it's only his word for it that it was self-defence. I owe you an apology for the other night. Your, erm, dinner invitation. - You're a married man. - This is it. I think Danny Waldron purposely created a trail of evidence and now we're on the trail of the other abusers. Dale Roach. He was leader of the city council during the period Danny Waldron and Joe Nash were residents at Sands View. The things that he did to us at Sands View... I promise you, I will get these bastards. Bains killed Danny. I'll lay you evens he killed Kennedy as well. - Hello? - 'You're being fitted up for murdering Rod Kennedy.' If you want a way out, you'll listen to me. Did he ever mention any other names? Politicians? Coppers? Single-handedly brings in an AFO. Well done. 'I'd just like to get on with my life.' Miss Denton. I'm Gill Bigelow, legal counsel to AC-12. I imagine they keep you VERY busy. Have a seat. You know Superintendent Hastings. I do. As part of a new initiative, christened Truth and Reconciliation, following a miscarriage of justice, parties are invited to engage in dialogue to initiate the healing process. There seems to be an oversight. Some of the officers involved in my wrongful conviction are missing. Superintendent Hastings, as senior investigating officer, represents the whole team. Well, I want them here or this new box you need to tick, just, well... .. won't get ticked. (God, give me strength! ) Thank you. It wouldn't have been the same without you. Miss Denton, on behalf of this department and this constabulary, I offer you a sincere and unconditional apology for your wrongful conviction in respect of the offence of conspiracy to murder. Ted? Er, as the senior investigating officer, I acknowledge your feelings regarding your conviction. WRONGFUL conviction, and you haven't actually said sorry. Maybe you'll do better, DS Arnott. You require me to sign off that I accept your apology. I won't, unless it comes from the officers who wronged me. You're out. What more do you want? An... apology. (Jesus Christ! ) This isn't going very well at all, is it? Ted? As senior investigating officer, I apologise for your conviction. You omitted "wrongful" but, thank you, that's very gracious. DS Arnott? We're all waiting. Your allegation that I planted incriminating evidence against you is false. Point of information -- I've made two allegations. One, you engaged in inappropriate sexual relations whilst on an undercover operation. And, two, you planted £50,000 to simulate a bribe. - And it's all crap! - Steve. Really? Do tell. Lindsay Denton knows our procedures inside out. She exploited doubts and grey areas to tie our investigation in knots. Oh, you did that all by yourself. First, DC Fleming's failed undercover operation and then yours. - I didn't do too badly. You ended up in prison. - And we didn't fail. We got you convicted. But you know sexual misconduct by undercover officers is a hot topic so you invented this story about us going to bed together so the jury sees you as a wronged woman. They obviously felt that I must have shagged you into conspiring - to murder a protected witness. - Stephen! Thank you, DS Arnott. I couldn't agree more that the question of your sexual integrity quite rightly made the jury sceptical... .. but I've got a recording that will be of interest to you all. All right, then. This just isn't the time or the place. Now is exactly the time and exactly the place. Not in court, in a room full of rubberneckers and reporters, my pathetic private life laid out for everyone to laugh at, to pity. I couldn't bear that. But to show you all what kind of officer got me locked up for 585 miserable days, THAT I can live with. I've had my whole life put on trial and now it's your turn. You've been charged and tried but the one person that refuses to examine what you're accused of is you. I'm innocent. The question is -- are you? This phone was next to the bed the entire time, although I can believe that you were too preoccupied to notice. Would you like me to, erm, play it for everyone? DS Arnott? No. Christ sake, Steve. Well, I feel this meeting's been remarkably successful and I'll be very happy to record, in writing, that it's been a healing process for all parties. I'd also prefer it if you'd consider closing the matter of DS Arnott's sexual impropriety. I don't intend to make a statement of evidence. The people that actually did the crime that I was imprisoned for, they're still out there. Superintendent, you uphold the integrity of the police service. If you held one iota of doubt about my conviction, no officer would be more troubled by that than you. No officer would do more to right that wrong. I plan to move on with my life. You won't move on, Steve, until you stop chasing me and you start chasing your real enemies. For Christ's sake, son, what was in that phone? ! We've got to take that crap from her, sir? You lied in court! You lied to your partner and you lied to me! I didn't lie to you, sir, I just don't think it's appropriate to discuss an officer's private life. I don't quiz you on yours. What do you mean by that? - I'm a married man. - I know, sir. Anyway, it isn't private when it's bandied about in a court of law. What matters, sir, is whether I planted evidence. Are there any forensic anomalies in respect of the money found at Denton's address? No. It matches the other bribe money. Are the exhibit officer's records inaccurate or incomplete? - That is NOT the issue! - It's completely the issue. I did not plant evidence. If... IF I'd had sex with Lindsay Denton, which I didn't, does that stop her being guilty? Lindsay Denton has left the building. Steve Arnott should do the same. Discreditable conduct. Steve Arnott did not plant evidence. But it's OK to have a relationship with a suspect? I can see how you feel about this, Ted. Why defend the indefensible? Look, he can be an irritating wee gobshite when he wants to be, - I'll give you that. - I'll tell you why. Because you personally recruited him from counter-terrorism and that means you having to admit your misjudgment. Sorry, Ted, I intend to return to this conversation. Kate. Kate, wait, please. One time you told me Lindsay Denton had dirt on you. Remember what I said. Maybe there are some people who always tell the truth. - The rest of us choose our moments. - And that's what I had to do. To ensure evidence was put in front of a jury that would convict Lindsay - Denton of a crime we all know she committed. - But we don't know. The only person who really knows is Lindsay herself. We gather the evidence and the people decide and they've decided she didn't do it cos you couldn't keep it in your pants! - That's not what happened. - What happened? It was an undercover operation in which I nurtured the trust of the target. That is straight out of the manual and total bollocks. - You shagged her because you wanted to. - I didn't shag her. Do you know what, Steve? This is all a bit too late. You should have told me the truth, given me the chance to work with you on this. That's what partners do. For the tape, image 313 is a photograph of item reference NTW-7. Said item is a rope found hanging from an overhead support. Detective Inspector Cottan has given us a statement where you attempted to overpower him with the intent of causing death by hanging. The exact same means as PC Rod Kennedy. I didn't murder Rod and I absolutely didn't attempt to murder DI Cottan. In fact, DI Cottan set me up. He set you up? ! Yeah, Cottan smashed himself in the face to make it look like I hit him but I didn't. As far as the rope goes, he must have planted it there beforehand. - He'll say anything to save his own skin. - Yeah. And why would an officer of mine do such a thing, eh? To frame me for Rod's murder. Do you have anything to support these claims against DI Cottan? I mean, anything at all? For the tape, the interviewee is offering no supporting evidence. Moving on. DS Arnott. For the tape, image 291, item reference MR-3 and image 292, item reference MR-4. MR-3 and 4 are mobile phones. A Section 18 search of your property recovered a pair of unregistered pay-as-you-go phones concealed in the garage. Document 16, analysis of activity on these phones reveals they made and received calls within the telecommunications cell that covers your home address. Three nights before the murder of Danny Waldron, a call was received by one of these phones. Who called you? No comment. Document 16 again. The night before Danny Waldron's murder. - Another call. - Who called you that night? Calls of a suspicious nature were made shortly before you volunteered to continue serving on Danny Waldron's squad and before you murdered him. Who made those calls and what did they ask you to do? For the tape, the interviewee is not answering. This pattern of communication, unregistered pay-as-you-go phones used for a short period then discarded, is one we all recognise from organised crime. Who's got you in their pocket? Nobody. Hari, we have you receiving phone calls linked to Danny's murder. We have you lobbying to stay on Danny's squad. We have your hands all over the firearm. We have you consistently lying about Danny's activities. We have a witness who says it was you who did all this and not PC Rod Kennedy. We have you at the murder scene and we have you in possession of the instruments of Kennedy's death. Now, that's about the height of it and it's a great big pile of evidence that is going to crush you flat. Now, come on... .. you killed Danny Waldron, yes or no? Yeah. Yeah. Good. Now we're getting somewhere. We know you can't have been acting alone. Help us help you. Who gave the order to kill Danny Waldron? Who was it? It... Come on, who was it? Who was it? You've got the bastard. Come on, talk. - He never gave me a name. - Who didn't? The bloke I always spoke to. Sounded like it was a Londoner, south-east or summat. It was all done over the phone, wasn't it? - I never met anyone, like. - You've got to know more. Times, places, other contacts. Look, someone's behind all this pulling the strings and I want to know who it is. Ronan Murphy, the suspect killed by Danny Waldron, what do you know about him? - Nothing. - They had history, Danny and him. That's news to me. Danny shot Murphy and was going after Murphy's associates. They were the ones that wanted Danny dead. The job you did for them. I didn't know Murphy. I didn't know his associates. - I don't know why they wanted Danny dead. - Look, who's behind this? What was Danny on to that meant you had to kill him? You've nothing further to say? You've offered nothing new in this interview to mitigate you being charged with the following offences. I therefore have the authority... - Well, we got the bastard. - Yeah. They should throw away the key. .. of PC Roderick Kennedy. Two, the murder of PS Daniel Waldron and, three, the attempted murder of DI Matthew Cottan. Now, do you understand? I've been doing more work on the Ronan Murphy file. There's a small entry, blink and you'd miss it, that he was interviewed by Murder Squad in relation to unsolved gangland murders, but there's no details of the offences he was being linked to. Can't help you. How many times are we going to go over this? Lindsay lied in court to con the jury. Maybe you're thinking, "If he'd shag a suspect, who else is he going to shag?" I can't help you because I've never heard of any Murder Squad investigation into Ronan Murphy. If I had, don't you think I'd have bloody told you by now? 'Still subject to delays due to overrunning engineering work...' Bastards! Making all your money, are you, eh? You bunch of bleeding' twats! Eh! You shitter! You bunch of bastards! Oh, here they are. Come on then! Great. They should rip it down. Smash every brick away. Joe, we've spoken to the officer handling your case. No-one's going to press charges. Those bastards. They're going to get away with what they done. You know I'm gutted Dale Roach is unfit to face prosecution. But, listen, Joe, we're looking into the complaints made by you or Danny or any of the other lads to the police about the abuse you were made to suffer by staff and visitors. Any police that came... .. they just talked to the staff. They were the bastards who were organising it in the first place... .. and anyone who talked about it, they just got it ten times worse. We're doing everything we can, but we still need your help, Joe. We're particularly interested in this man. Now, you identified him as a football coach. His name's Ronan Murphy. Did you, or anyone you know, ever make a complaint about him? Yeah, there was one time. A social worker. We did nothing. Nothing was done. - What social worker? - Just some posh twat. Posh to us, anyway. We need a name, Joe. Oliver Stephens-Lloyd, a registered social worker with responsibility at Sands View. He was a council employee around the time that Danny Waldron and Joe Nash were residents. Only record found so far is of a disciplinary hearing accusing Stephens-Lloyd of dealing cannabis to the residents. Stephens-Lloyd denied the charges and insisted he was being victimised because he tried to raise concerns about abuse at Sands View. All other records have been lost. Variously reported destroyed in a fire or lost in an office move. The tribunal report's existence is probably an oversight by whoever has been destroying records. All we have so far is Stephens-Lloyd alleging that a number of individuals, many of whom are in positions of authority, were part of a network of abusers. He referred to compiling a list of names that he passed on to the police but it appears none of Stephens-Lloyd's allegations were investigated. And regarding this list and the officer it was passed to? - No record. - No record. - We'll keep looking. - Find this social worker. - Sir. - Sir. Terrific presentation, guys. Honestly, really terrific. Steve, before Danny died, he tried to say something. I thought he said "listen" and then couldn't get any more words out. Now I reckon what he said was "list". Cheers, Kate. Maneet, the evidence recovered from Danny Waldron's flat. - Er, yeah. - The empty envelope. Ronan Murphy was shot dead in the heat of the moment, but Linus, Danny had time with him, time to get information. Let's see. They never tested the envelope. What? - Bloody forensics. - They're on a tight budget this financial year. I don't care about their budget. Get it tested now. Thanks, Maneet. So, what was all that about then? This is where Stephens-Lloyd's body was found. This is the original report, dated 21st November 1998. Oliver Stephens-Lloyd was last seen a few weeks beforehand. His body was found on the 14th by a fisherman. - Statement's in the file. - What's going on? I've asked Murder Squad if they'll reopen the case. - Right. - Hiya. - All right? - You all right? We just re-interviewed the fisherman who found the body. He recalls that pretty much the first thing he was told at the scene was that it had to be a suicide. It also appears no photos or videos were taken of the scene. Was there a missing persons report or investigation at the time? There was. The report's cursory, to say the least. Doesn't look as if anyone was actively searching for Stephens-Lloyd. The SIO at the time was a DI Marcus Thirwell. He's no longer serving but we're doing our best to track him down. The pathologist's autopsy report at the time stated the body had superficial wounds and a broken arm, which he put down to the body being struck by a boat. So my boss has agreed to reopen the case. We're already seeking permission to exhume the body. Thanks. We'll be taking this from here. - We've got an ongoing... - It's ours now. We'll keep you in the loop as best we can. It seems like you're in everybody's good books. 'Ticket number 41.' Do you know how long I've been waiting? - You need to complete the form. - I've done all the forms! - You're taking the piss! - Lindsay? - Yeah. My name's Tammy. I'm one of the multi-disciplinary offender management team. - Is this your first appointment? - Yep. I'm ready to restart my life... Lovely. .. by rejoining the police service. Bollocks to this! Er... it says here that you were acquitted of conspiracy to murder, but found guilty of perverting the course of justice. Yes, I'm appealing against the conviction. I'm going to clear my name. You won't be able to rejoin the police with a criminal conviction. I told you, I'm appealing. Have you actually checked to see that I can rejoin? No, I haven't checked. Well, then, I would like to apply to rejoin the police service. I'm sorry, why are you looking at me like that? Lindsay, I don't know you, I've got nothing against you, but I can't help you if you're going to be in denial. You're an offender, which means there's no chance you'll be able to rejoin the police. - Yet I'm not a criminal. - Let's look on the bright side. Try getting you into work. Everything follows from that. OK. Well, erm, I was a detective inspector, so I've got a valuable skill set. So, any news on them forensics? Erm, yes, sir. There were notable findings on the inside of the envelope recovered from Danny Waldron's flat. They found a number of tiny stains less than a millimetre across. Ink, standard biro -- could have belonged to anyone. And blood. And that'd be Danny's, right? No, sir, it matched Linus Murphy's. The final report states that these findings are consistent with a blood-stained note written during or shortly after Danny Waldron's torture murder of Linus Murphy. - Should I send a copy to DS Arnott, sir? - No. No, I'll handle it for now, and... .. and this is just between us for now? Nice one. Who is it? Robin from the offender management team. Come in. Were you issued with the information leaflet? Good. This is difficult for you... .. and we're here to help you pick up the pieces. How long do I have to stay here? You served half your sentence and now you're out on licence. You understand all this, of course. We want to help you move on but it's not going to be easy. You're going to need money for rent, for living expenses. I can help you now, if you want. Ten quid. What are you saying? I was just going through the role of the MOMT in your adjustment to life after prison. Nice meeting you, Lindsay. We both have such busy schedules, I don't think the taxpayer will mind. Shame I'm going to ruin the evening. Right, well, you know you can speak freely. I can't tell you how to run your department but I want you to move Steve Arnott on. Make him some other department's problem. Let me tell you about Steve Arnott. He's my most dogged investigator, he will not leave a stone unturned. I had intended that meeting in a more social setting would make this less confrontational between us. Yeah, well... .. we've only just got started. I would like the chicken liver pate and the sea bass. I'll be right back. Thanks. And I'll have the soup followed by the sirloin steak. Medium well. And... no sauce. What's the matter? I'm a married man. Separated. I took vows. I can't undo them. Don't you want to stay with me, Ted? I'm sorry, Gill. I'm sorry. I don't need to watch this if you want to put something else on. It's fine. You hungry? Want to go out? Tired. Yeah, all right. I need to tell you what I found out about Ronan Murphy. What, you looked into it? Murphy was a person of interest in the inquiry into the murder of Tommy Hunter. In what way? Ronan Murphy was one of Hunter's closest associates. We never interviewed him. Major Violent Crime did. Ronan Murphy was interviewed about the conspiracy Lindsay Denton was convicted of? Looks like it. None of this was in the file. It must been doctored. You didn't get any of this from me. Well, well... Who'd have thought? What are you after? You ever heard the name Ronan Murphy? Why d'you ask? Just thought you might have heard the name. Are you reopening my case? Forget it, all right? That's not why I'm asking. Look, I don't expect you to care, Steve, but I'm never, ever going to get back to being that person that I was before all this happened. You know, the only thing that kept me sane, the thing that got me up in the morning, was being a police officer. I want to find the people that framed me, Steve, and I believe... Well, I HOPE that you do, too. The audio file on this phone is as embarrassing to you as it is to me. Believe you me, I've got it backed up. I don't enjoy threatening people. They make me. Ronan Murphy was killed by a police officer and Murphy was a prime suspect in the murder of Tommy Hunter but, for some reason, that's been hidden from AC-12. Bring in the officer that killed him. - He was killed a couple of weeks after. - Why? Oh, come on, Steve. Best guess, he was breaking open a paedophile ring. What? Don't you see? Ronan Murphy was interviewed by the team investigating Tommy Hunter's murder. And where did you get that from? I'm not at liberty to say, sir. Here we go again. Tommy Hunter was involved in grooming underage girls and pimping them out and he was about to turn informer. The people who ordered his murder didn't want what he knew about child sexual exploitation to come out and that's exactly the same motive as the murder of Danny Waldron. They're connected. Sir we know Hunter's murder was orchestrated by the Caddy and there's ample evidence that someone was pulling Hari Bains' strings. Using the exact same methods as the Caddy. Voice contact only, multiple phones. Yeah, but... why couldn't this be the Caddy? DC Cole is dead. Well, the Caddy is my inquiry, sir, so maybe I should be the one to look into it. - Yeah, I'd be grateful. - Sir. - Sir... - What? Something to say? Well, you're not at liberty. Sir. Well, I know exactly who we should speak to first. Who? We'll be fine, thanks, Steve. See, the thing is, mate, no-one likes a partner holding out on them. So, where you taking me? To the lying bastard who told us the Caddy was dead. Well, why don't you let me handle this? He's a chippy bastard. If I'm there, there'll be a witness to who said what. Cheers. Dot. Mate. What's all this, then? We're following up on a statement you made in 2013 in connection with the murder of Tommy Hunter. OK if we come in? Oh, well, you have done well for yourself, eh? You, too. Landed on your feet, you might say. Crime audit. We gather important figures for important figures. So... how can I be of assistance to AC-12? This report, sensitive parts of which are not for your eyes, quotes your statement regarding DC Cole. DI Cottan wrote this. I'm sure he can shed any light required. This is just routine, Nige. We're just following up on one or two details. Are these your words? "DC Cole was nicknamed the Caddy "because he wore golf jumpers but never played golf. "DC Cole boasted of underworld connections "and attempted to recruit me into a clandestine network "of corrupt police officers." I cooperated with your investigation. But we've got some new lines of inquiry. Did Cole ever mention a gangland associate of Tommy Hunter named Ronan Murphy? Right. You pointed the finger at Cole. You led everyone up the garden path. Meanwhile, we've got two coppers murdered. I'm not saying another word without a solicitor. Fine, we'll continue this conversation at AC-12 under caution, a date to be appointed by us. Thank you. Sir. You have to shut this down. I will not let anyone put you on the spot about Cole. We both know why. Shut this down now. You know the secrets I can spill. Why don't you come into AC-12 with your solicitor, you tell us you heard the Caddy rumour about Cole off some old lag, dead or lost his marbles, and you leave me to do the rest? And? There's always an and. And... you turn over all the stuff you've got on me. End of. End of? The incriminating item I've got on you, that's my only insurance. You need me to shut this down. I'm small fry. You're the big fish. So what'll happen when they find out about all that evidence you've been sitting on? Hm? The contacts in that phone. The call history. All in my past, mind. Now, that isn't something anyone could shut down. Now, you're what? Six months off retiring? Four and a half. Look, I wasn't more than a kid when all this started. Certain people pushed me into joining the force to do their dirty work from the inside. And the truth is, mate, I want to retire too. Just in a different way. But I can't do that till I'm free of the past. And you could be free, too. Four and a half months, that's you walking off into the sunset... .. with none of this hanging over you. What's going on? He's here. Nige. Now, the purpose of today's interview is to re-examine a statement provided voluntarily by DC Morton on October 17, 2013. This is document one in your folders. Is this your statement? It is. And do you now wish to amend your statement in any way? I do. DC Jeremy Cole was a corrupt officer, the sort there's no room for in the police service. What he got up to sickened me. I did have occasion to meet Cole and he did at one time boast about his connections to underworld figures. Did you report Cole? Although this is a voluntary interview, I request the professional courtesy of being questioned by an officer at least one rack superior. Why didn't you report Cole at the time? I thought he was a lippy kid. He was full of it. I didn't believe his boasts. Much later, I learned about his offences. If only I'd acted, I might have prevented them. I'm extremely remorseful. In regards to your statement of Cole being the Caddy, would you now like to make any further amendments? I never heard Cole himself use that nickname. I got it from another source, then I passed it on. I should have made that clear in my original statement. I'm extremely remorseful. Right, and who was the other source? An old friend from my days on armed robbery. Terry Capistrano. And do you have any further information? No, sir. Only that I'm extremely remorseful. Well, thank you, DC Morton. No further questions. Interview terminated. Wanker. Right, well, I'll check out this name he gave us. Oh, well, I wouldn't bother if I were you. Terry Capistrano got Alzheimer's. He was retired sick. The poor bugger's lost his marbles. Convenient. Oh, come off it, Kate. Nigel's just trying to help. Can we be sure? Look, I know he's a mate and everything, but he's a few months off retirement and, between me and you, his missus hasn't been too well lately. Well, I really don't give a shit. Look, his heart's in the right place. Let's just leave this cock-up behind us, eh? Please. Yeah. Well, I suppose I can overlook it. Thanks. I really appreciate it. Now we know the Caddy's active again, this time we get the bastard. Yeah. Lindsay? Thank you. I'm sorry for disturbing you. What's this about? I'm afraid I've heard that you've been absent from work. I'm concerned that you're not coping and, if you were to get into trouble again, you'd return to prison. - I'm never going back to prison. - Mm. But you can't afford to lose that job. What did you expect for ten quid? I was trying to help you. 20. Don't you try making up any lies about this because it's all on video. You can't do that! It's illegal! You're saying that I can't record you without your prior knowledge, as a breach of Article 8 of the Human Rights Act? I'll take your Human Rights Act and I'll raise you Section 4 of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 and your offence under that act carries a maximum prison sentence of five years. I'll see you in court. Where's Maneet? Off sick, I heard. Some forensics I've asked her to chase up. It'll just have to wait. Oh, Kate's got a postmortem report for you, if you're interested. Thanks. Yeah, if you just get a couple of... You've got a new PM on Oliver Stephens-Lloyd? Yeah. Are you going to get round to telling me? Yeah. The new autopsy found significant differences from the original. Both arms were broken and there was a severe skull fracture. The fracture wasn't consistent with a flat surface like the hull of a boat. It looked more like a hammer blow. Right. Look at the original PM. The distribution list at the end. Routine distribution to senior officers at the time. Routine except for one name. Chief Superintendent Fairbank had nothing to do with this case. He ran Vice. Also copied in on the missing persons report. What do we know about Chief Superintendent Fairbank? This. Councillor Dale Roach with guess who? Chief Superintendent Fairbank. Roach and Fairbank. Roach and Fairbank. Chief Superintendent Fairbank retired in 2008. Oh, yeah. Pat ran vice for donkey's years. If Oliver Stephens-Lloyd did submit a list of abusers at Sands View, almost certainly it would have gone to Vice. Almost certainly. Which makes the fact he was copied in on Stephens-Lloyd's missing persons and postmortem reports all the more suspicious. Sir, former Chief Superintendent Fairbank still lives in the area. Well, let's see what he's got to say for himself. Good work, you two. Good work. - Sir. - Sir. Come in, please. Very grateful for your time, sir. Oh, anything I can do to help. And I'm retired now, there's no need for the sir. Follow me. Take a seat. - I'm DS... - Tea or coffee? We're fine. Thank you, sir. As I was saying, I'm DS Arnott. DC Fleming. Mr Fairbank, we'd like to begin by asking you about a social worker who went missing in October '98, Oliver Stephens-Lloyd. Doesn't ring a bell. If we may, sir, perhaps this report might jog your memory. Blind as a bat without these. Are you sure you don't want a tea or coffee? We're fine. Thank you, sir. Sorry. The report was copied to you. I mean, is there any reason you might take an interest? None at all. Can you explain why you'd be sent this report? Well, I don't remember any of this. I mean, you're going back a good many years. We'd like to show you some newspaper clippings, if we may. You appear to be quite close to Councillor Dale Roach. Our paths crossed occasionally. Usually at a charity event. We weren't close. Well, we're looking into allegations of child sexual exploitation involving Councillor Roach. As head of Vice, did you ever deal with any complaints against Roach? Well, there may have been some such saying, "Councillor Roach has done this," or, "Councillor Roach did that." And what would it be that the councillor did? Well, I don't recall the details but, when these things came up, they would have been looked into. Did you ever deal with complaints of abuse at Sands View Boys' Home? That doesn't ring a bell. There was a specific allegation made by the social worker that we're talking about, Oliver Stephens-Lloyd. Sorry. Well, Stephens-Lloyd claimed he compiled a list of authority figures who, with the collusion of staff, conducted systematic abuse of boys resident at Sands View. See, I've never even heard of this Stands View place. Oh! Sorry. - I'll get that, love! - OK! Here he is! - Hope I'm not too late. - Spot on. How you keeping, Ted? Yeah, can't complain, can't complain. I hope you don't mind me calling you. Not at all, sir. A matter of professional courtesy. As you were. As you were. Oh, now, you'll stay after, won't you? Joyce'll kill me if I let you off the hook from her Victoria sponge! That's very kind of you, sir! Thank you. Don't mind me. Now, where were we? Where's Hastings? Briefing. Inspectors and above only. Kate. What the hell was going on with Hastings showing up at Fairbank's house? You heard Fairbank. He called him, put the gaffer on the spot. Yeah, well, I saw the handshake at the door. It was masonic. In that file on Ronan Murphy, Murphy's connection to Hunter must have been concealed by police officers, and who gave us that file? Hastings. The Caddy is the codename for a serving police officer with lifelong links to organised crime, working as a fixer within the police service for certain criminal interests. No officer has ever been irrefutably identified as the Caddy, hence his existence is putative. The term was first heard in a video statement made by John Thomas Hunter. DC Jeremy Cole, deceased. Now, Cole was originally presumed on the balance of probabilities to be the Caddy, but that conclusion is no longer supportable. PC Harinderpal Bains. A corrupt AFO. His statements of evidence have led to the most accurate profile yet of this individual. The Caddy is male. Given his lifelong links to organised crime, the Caddy is almost certainly from a working-class background and grew up in an urban environment. Given the history of his activities, starting from sometime between 2005 to 2010, according to the video statement by Tommy Hunter, the Caddy is probably under 35. Given his access to confidential information regarding ongoing operations, the Caddy is almost certainly a detective. His ability to manage communications without ever betraying his own identity implies a highly trained, highly sophisticated approach to covert operations that is associated with counter-terrorism. And, lastly, Bains describes the Caddy's voice as having a London or south-east accent. There's your bullet points. All right, everybody, let's leave it there. Thank you. Of course, this is only a profile. There's lots of people this description could fit. But only the Caddy could have got his hands on Lindsay Denton's bribe money from the right forensics source. Sorry, gaffer, but the finger's pointing at one of our own. All right? All right? SIM card? It's all in there. I don't know what to say. That it, then? Yeah. WALDRON: So many years I wondered what I'd do if I ever saw him again. And then I did. In a photo, in a briefing room. And I was being sent to meet him with a gun. ARNOTT. I don't think we should close the investigation into Danny Waldron's background. I'd like to keep digging. (Mumbles) What's he saying? This is a young Ronan Murphy, shot by Danny Waldron during Operation Damson. What'? They knew each other? Did you fabricate the improper relations - between you and DS Arnott'? - No. Did you fabricate the planting of evidence against you'? - What is your verdict? - Not guilty. It is with deep regret that I inform you all of the death of PC Rod Kennedy. Hari initiated the struggle with that gun and it's only his word for it that it was self-defence. I owe you an apology for the other night. Your...dinner invitation. You're a married man. This is it. Danny Waldron purposefully created a trail of evidence. And now we're on the trail of the other abusers. Dale Roach. He was leader of the city council during the period Danny Waldron and Joe Nash were residents at Sands View. The things they did to us at Sands View. I promise you I will get these bastards. If Bains killed Danny, I'd lay you evens he killed Kennedy as well. You're being fitted up for murdering Rod Kennedy. (Cockney accent) lf you want a way out, you'll listen to me. Did he ever mention any other names? Politicians, coppers? Single-handedly brings in an APO... Welcome back, Dot. (Phones ringing) BENTON". I'd just like to get on with my life. Ms Denton, I'm Gill Biggeloe, Legal Counsel to AC-l 2. Mm. I imagine they keep you very busy. Ha. Have a seat. You know Superintendent Hastings. I do. As pan of a new initiative christened Truth and Reconciliation, following a miscarriage of justice, parties are invited to engage in dialogue to initiate the healing process. There seems to be an oversight. Some of the officers involved in my wrongful conviction are missing. Superintendent Hastings, as Senior Investigating Officer, represents the whole team. Well, I want them here. Or this new box you need to tick just... well, won't get ticked. God give me strength. Thank you. It wouldn't have been the same without you. Ms Denton, on behalf of this department and this constabulary, I offer you a sincere and unconditional apology for your wrongful conviction in respect of the offence of conspiracy to murder. Ted. Uh... As the senior investigating officer, I acknowledge your feelings regarding your conviction. Wrongful...conviction. And you haven't actually said sorry. Maybe you'll do better, DS Arnott. You require me to sign off that I accept your apology. I won't unless it comes from the officers who wronged me. You're out. What more do you want'? An...apology. Jesus Christ. This isn't going very well at all, is it'? Ted. As senior investigating officer, I apologise for your conviction. You omitted "wrongful". But thank you, that's very gracious. DS Arnott'? We're all waiting. Your allegation that I planted incriminating evidence against you is false. Point of information. I've made two allegations. One, you engaged in inappropriate sexual relations whilst on an undercover operation and, two, you planted £50,000 to simulate a bribe. - And it's all crap. - Steve. Really? Do tell. Lindsay Denton knows our procedures inside out. She exploited grey areas to tie our investigation in knots. Oh, you did that all by yourself. First DC Fleming's failed undercover operation and then yours. I didn't do too badly. You ended up in prison. And we didn't fail. We got you convicted. But you know sexual misconduct by undercover officers is a hot topic so you invented this story about us going to bed so the jury sees you as a wronged woman. They felt I shagged you into conspiring - to murder a protected witness. - Steven. Thank you, DS Arnott. I couldn't agree more that the question of your sexual integrity quite rightly made the jury sceptical. But I've got a recording that will be of interest to you all. All right, then. This just isn't the time or the place. Now is exactly the time and exactly the place. Not in court, in a room full of rubberneckers and reporters, my pathetic private life laid out for everyone to laugh at, to pity. I couldn't bear that. But to show you all what kind of officer got me locked up for 585 miserable days of that, that I can live with. I've had my whole life put on trial...and now it's your turn. You've been charged and tried but the one person that refuses to examine what you're accused of is you. I'm innocent. The question is, are you'? This phone was next to the bed the entire time, although I can believe that you were too preoccupied to notice. Would you like me to... play it for everyone'? DS Arnott'? No. Christ sake, Steve. Well. I feel this meetings been remarkably successful, and I'd be very happy to record in writing that it's been a healing process for all parties. I'd also prefer it if you'd consider closed the matter of DS Arnott's sexual impropriety. I don't intend to make a statement of evidence. The people that actually did the crime that I was imprisoned for, they're still out there. Superintendent, you uphold the integrity of the police service. If you held one iota of doubt about my conviction, no officer would be more troubled by that than you, no officer would do more to right that wrong. I plan to move on with my life. You won't move on, Steve, until you stop chasing me, and you start chasing your real enemies. For Christ's sake, son! What was in that phone'? We've got to take that crap from her, sir'? You lied in court, you lied to your partner and you lied to me! I didn't lie, sir. It's just not appropriate to discuss an officer's private life. I don't quiz you on yours. What do you mean by that'? I'm a married man. I know, sir, I just... It isn't "private" when it's bandied about in a court of law! What matters, sir, is whether I planted evidence. Are there any forensic anomalies in respect of the money found at Demon's address? No. Are the Exhibit Officer's records inaccurate? That is not the issue! It's completely the issue. I did not plant evidence. If... - Hey, shut up. Unless you want to get the fuck out yourself. - You gonna kick me out just for asking the man a question? - Yeah, Pete, it's all right, it's a legitimate question. Why would I drink coffee in a bar? - Because he fucking likes it, okay? Because it's his fucking business and not yours. Anyway, you're a degenerate lesbian. And... Jimmy here is an educated guy. So go fuck yourself. - I was gonna go with a more diplomatic response, but it's Pete's bar, so I guess, go fuck yourself is an order. Go fuck yourself, young lady. How dare you ask the teacher a question? - Hey, Dad. You wanna go lay down? - What? - Why don't you go upstairs and lie down for a minute? - What for? - Maybe you're tired, maybe you want to lie down. - I’m fine. - I’m on the boardwalk, me and my daughter. It's quiet. Suddenly, you hear "Homicides, Homicides, Homicides." - Ooh, Homicides, the Homicides. - Worst gang in Brooklyn, worst gang in Brooklyn. About 80 of them in their leathers running right towards us. And they're yelling "Homicides, Homicides." I’m looking at my daughter like, is there something you're not telling me? Are you in a feud with the crazy Homicides? They stole your pop rocks? I don't know. They're coming right at us. George: What happened? - Just then, right behind us, but in the same direction, four or five members of the Jolly Stompers. - Oh, that’s the guys who's in the satin jackets. - Jolly Stompers, I mean, terrifying when you see them on the train, but when there's 80 Homicides chasing them, fairly docile. One of them had a little ball of shit rolling down his pant leg as he ran. They were scared. And then-- - So wait a minute, wait. The Homicide gang were chasing them. - Thank Christ, at least from our point of view. So these ill-fated Jolly Stompers run past us and we're standing there frozen, can't move, and this running mob runs around us like a herd of buffalo and we're just standing there and then ten seconds, just standing around us yelling. Homicides, Homicides, and running after these poor souls, who are probably dead by now, by the way. And-- And ten seconds later, they're gone. Just me and my daughter, standing there, my 13-year-old daughter and me, and we still have nothing to talk about. (women laughing) - Hey, Pete. Give me another one? - Cash first. - What? - Horace, come on. What is this shit? - Hey. You ain't paid for the last three I poured you. - Okay, okay, okay. - Cash first. - So I’m broke. I've got... I've got a quarter. You know what? What if I could make a one dollar bill that you gave me change into a twenty. - Ooh, I wanna see it. - I wanna go dancing. - Then you'll give me a free drink? - What are you talking about? - If I can make your one into a twenty. Can I- - Can I borrow this? Swear you'll get it right back. I won't do-- - Mm-hmm. - Do you have a-- Could I-- Yeah? Here, you take the twenty, I don't want to touch his money. His money. Your money, I don't do anything. Just- - Just fold it. No, no, no. Fold it, fold it, fold it. And then again, this way. Crease it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like this. Yeah, yeah, good, good, good. Here, so if I rub the twenty, just like this, here. Can you see, your twenty? - Yeah. - Look. If I rub the twenty against the one, see, the ink'll start to change. See? Here, you see your twenty? I'm going to give you my one, but look. If I just place the little piece on top like this and I do that. See, now, actually-- No... I kinda messed up. George: Oh! That's a-- (laughter) - Fuck? What the fuck? How did you do that? - I didn't do that. It just happened. - Come on, what do you think-- - Don't fucking touch me. Now, just tell me how you did it. How the fuck did you do that? Horace: Hey, it's a trick. Horace Sr: Tell him it's a trick, please. Horace: It's a trick. - I don't know any tricks. I just watch nature happen. - Nature? You fucking freak! What? My eyes didn't see that, all right? What did you do? What happened? - It's all right, Pete, it's a trick. He's doing-- Show him the trick. - I don't know. Horace: Show him the trick or we need you to go. - I don't know. Here. (glass breaking) - Oh! - Okay, all right. Time to go, time to go. - Okay. Horace: Let's go. - Okay, I'm going. - Let's go. - Hey, wait, wait, wait. Where's my twenty? - Look under Pete's watch. - Holy shit. - All right. That's enough. - Fucking scumbag! What the-- Horace: That's enough of your shit. Let's go, goodbye. - What the fuck was that, huh? - Yeah. Mary Ann: (quietly) I’m just gonna go. - Where are you going? - I'm- - See my sister, I told you. - Why are you going there? - I’m just gonna go to my sister's house. I can go where I want. - No, you're not. - I don't need your permission, Horace. - No, you're not. - You have no right to keep me here like a fucking prisoner. Just let me go, please. - All right, go ahead. - Thank you- - Horace... (Mary Ann gasps) - I told you to cut your hair. - So, anyone have an opinion on this peanut farmer, Jimmy Carter? Looks like he's floating to the top of the sewer. Could be our next president. - Well, anything to throw that fuckin' bum Ford out of there. - Okay, now, what's your problem with Ford? - Are you fucking kidding me? You know what he said, he-- Here. I saved it, all right? "Ford to City: Drop Dead." Horace: He's been saving that headline for a year now. - Yeah. Fuck this guy! He can go fuck himself forever. You know what? I wish I had Squeaky Fromme right here and I could fucking teach her how to shoot a gun. Jimmy: Oh. - Fucking hippies, they send in a girl, you know? I mean, she had a clear shot at Ford and she throws the bullet like a girl. - Holy moly. Pete. I understand you have a hate for the president, but it's pretty severe. Jeez. - Oh, wait- - Wait a minute. Where does he get the balls, all right? To tell America's greatest city to drop dead. - That's just it. He never said that. The Daily News said he did, but he didn't say it. - Oh, I don't care. You don't, as leader of the free world, tell this city, I mean, this great city, which by the way, gave more of its sons and brothers to every war, you know, since we kept the British from crossing the Hudson River. - Not accurate, but I get your point. - How- - How do you tell a whole city of New Yorkers to drop dead, all right? New York is the greatest city in the world. - Paris is a better city. - He's right. We got nothing on Paris. - I wish I was in Paris right now. - What's so fucking great about Paris? - Shut up. - Their cheese, their bread, the way they kiss, eau de toilett. Cancan. Pete: Hey. - Everything's better. Pete: Hey, hey, hey! You fucking playing backgammon over there? Close that shit up. We don't do that here. You heard me. Close it up now, and get out. Horace: Get outta here. - Get out. Horace: Get outta here. - Fuck, I didn't see that. Horace: Get outta here. Fucking backgammon. Oh, shit. Here come these two rummies. - Hi. Pete: Hi, Lenny. - Hi. - Pete, you're gonna serve 'em? - Why not? Fucking Ford. He's a fucking piece of shit is what he is. And he's a clumsy motherfucker. - Pete, I understand you don't like the president, but the fact is, he never said "Drop dead, New York." He probably said-- he said something a lot more boring, like, I'll veto any bill that includes the bailout of the municipal government of New York. - He said it, Jimmy! - Okay. - He said it! - All right, all right, Jimmy, why don't you change the subject, huh? What else is in the news? - Well, Namath going to the Rams. I mean... - Who cares? - Well, I for one, don't like it. Anyone care to weigh in? - Joe Namath has a great tush. (woman laughing) - Great tush? Mike: Great. - 'Cause you're a fucking fag. - No, I'm not a fag, I just appreciate a great tush when I see one. - No offense, Mike, but you are a fag. - You're a fag. - No-- I am not a fag, you're not a fag. - Hey, I’m not-- I'm not a fag. - Oh, yeah? Prove it. - All right, all right, all right. All right, he said it 'cause-- - What? - He said it 'cause you said it. He said it 'cause you said it. - But I'm not a fag. - Yeah, no, we know you're not a fag. Right, you said it, 'cause you retaliated. - Yeah, I said it 'cause you said I was-- - Right? - Yes. - All right, it's okay, Pete. - Watch your mouth. - It's okay. - You watch my mouth. - What? - Nothing. - Okay, okay. All right, Mike. Mike, let me get-- Let me buy you a beer. It's okay, Pete. - I can't come, Abb. He won't-- He won't let me leave here. I can't just leave. He doesn't let me do anything. Yeah, well, it's- - That's easy for you to say, Abby, all right? I will come and see you tomorrow. And we'll talk about it, okay? Wha- - Why? Becau-- Yeah, because he's my husband. That is my fault and I can't do anything about that. No, do not come here, I'm telling you, that's gonna make things worse. Yeah, I know, I know. I know, I know. I- - I don't know what to do. I don't know-- I don't know what to do, can't do this anymore. I just want to die every day. I can't. No, do not-- I can't, I can't, Abby. Don't do that. I'm telling you, don't come here. Just tell me that-- That you love me and that it's gonna be okay. I know, but just say it anyway, will you, honey, please? I’m dying over here, I need you. I don't need you like that. Why can't I? Why can't I? I’m the one getting my ass kicked over here, it’s not you. Horace. Yeah, I have children here, you don't know what that's like. (change jingling) Yeah, but I'm not gonna do that. What are you, crazy? Yeah. No, I can't do that. Come here. Go downstairs, get mama a pack of cigarettes. Yeah, I know, I know, I know. I know, Abby. Oh, okay. - Well, Little Horace, when he was about six, he was in the little league and I coached his team, right? And so he played right field, so right away, you know how good he is, right? I mean, how many kids that age could hit it out to right field? So he'd be out there, you know, picking his nose and staring off, and then one day, he comes running up to me in the middle of the game, up to the bench, he says, (high pitched) Uncle Pete, Uncle Pete, I gotta make a pee pee! I said, get the fuck back out on the field! What's the matter with you? (laughter) He said, (high pitched) time out, Uncle Pete, I gotta make a pee pee! I said, I don't care if you gotta make a doo-doo. You don't stop in the middle of the game. What are you doing? What is this, girls' softball? And then he's crying like, wahh... All right, all right, I had to call a time-out. So I say to the ump, time out. And then I go over to Horace, I said, okay, all right, come here. Here, come here. I said, all right, Horace. I called a time out so you can go take a leak, all right? I mean, what am I gonna do? He's my nephew and he's crying, right? So I said, okay, honey, go to the toilet, I'll put Ralphie in right field, all right? So you can go take a pee pee. And he's crying, just standing there. I said, what's the matter with you? I thought you had to go make a pee pee? Now go make a pee pee! And he says... (high pitched) Uncle Pete, Uncle Pete, it's too late! I look and he's got piss all over his pants! His pants are covered in piss! Remember that, Horace? Remember when you peed your pants in little league? Where you going? Oh, come on, you little crybaby! - Don't cry, little Horace. Horace: He's all right. He's all right, Pa. man: Oh, Jesus. - Hey, Horace, didn't your other boy play baseball, too? - Yeah. Yeah, Little Pete's good. - Yeah. - He's on a team, he's great. Shortstop, and he can hit it. Fantastic. - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Where you been? Where you been? - Heaven. - Tell me where you been. What, are you fucking wearing lipstick? When'd you start wearing lipstick? Where you been? Tell me where you been and don't lie. Don't tell me you been at Tina's, 'cause your mother already colluded on that lie and I'm not buying it. - I don't have to lie to you, I don't have to tell you anything. - You're dating that nigger again. - Yeah, I don't date niggers, Dad, I just fuck 'em. - There's something wrong with you. - Oh, yeah? - There's something wrong with you. - Yeah, what's wrong with me? - Somebody should put you away. - Oh, yeah? - She's got a mouth on her. I mean, the way she talks. You know what I heard? That all teenage girls, they got, like, a hormonal imbalance, so no matter what you do, you know, you could smack 'em and smack 'em. beat the shit out of them, tell them right from wrong, it ain't gonna get through. - That's true. She gonna be married in another year anyway, Horace. Let some other guy smack her out. - Your people do that a lot, don’t' they, George? - Say what? - You smack the shit out of your kids. - Well, I just do what my daddy did, man. - A teenage girl hates her father. She's supposed to. It's a biological imperative so she doesn't fuck her father. - Hey, hey, what the fuck is wrong with you? - I loved my dad. - Hey, Dad. We won. - Nice. - Hey. You okay? Where's Mom? - She's in there crying. - Oh. Oh, hey, guess what I got? - What? - Guess. - What? - Look at the back. Bicentennial. - Oh. Wow. Thanks, Pete. - Sure. - Now I can show Dad I have another one. - Pete. What did you do to my stuff? Little Pete: What? - What did you do to my pictures? - I didn't do anything. - I found all these fucking pictures in the trash. Those are mine and you scratched out the faces! - Why do you think I did it! - Because you're a fucking retard! You have mental problems, or you're queer or something, I don't know. - Just shut up! Shut up! - What is wrong with you, Pete? Why can't any of us be normal? - Shut up! - Why can't anyone be fucking normal? - Just shut up! - No! - Sylvia! - I have had it! - Shut up! - I have fucking had it with you! - Shut up! Mary Ann: How dare you? Sylvia: I didn't do anything! (shouting continues) I didn't do anything! Little Horace: Why are we coming down here? Mary Ann: Shh, shh, shh, shh... Sylvia: Mom, this is so stupid. You just sneak out? Mary Ann: Shh! You're gonna wake up your father. Go. Sylvia: So what, Mom? This is a fucking waste of time. Mary Ann: Yeah, you shut your mouth. This is all because of you. Because you had to stay out late. - It's not my fault. - If I don't get us out of here, you have no idea what's going on-- - It's not my fault you don't know how to fight back. - Horace, go, go, go. Okay. - Wait a sec. - God. - Honey. Sylvie. - Hi, Aunt Abby. - God, here, please, Sylvia, take your brother out to the car right now. - What? - Where are we going? - This better be for real, Mom. - Take your brother out. Abby: Shut up, Sylvie. - Go, go. - Okay. - Oh, my God. - What about Pete? - My bag, my bag. - No, no, no-- - No, Mom, forget your stuff, just come. - Mary Ann, Mary Ann, just come now. - No, wait, I'll be right there, I'll be one second. - Okay, hurry up! Little Horace: What about Pete? - Go on, kids. Little Horace: Where are we going? What about Pete? - Shh, shh. (sink running) - Hey, Mom. - Pete. what the hell are you doing? - I just have to get these filled up. It's important. - You're gonna wake up your father. - I'll explain it to him, it's important. He'll understand. - Pete, what the hell? - I told you, Mom, this is important. Dad will understand, I'll explain it later. Dad, listen. I have to get all these glasses filled up before the sun rises. It's really important. No, Dad... (smacking sounds) No! (Little Pete shouting, Mary Ann panting) Please, Dad! Stop! Dad! Please, stop! Stop! Please! Please! Dad! Stop! Stop! Dad, please! Stop! Dad! Stop! Please, Dad! Dad! Stop! Please! Stop! Please! Please! Dad! Stop! Dad! Please! Dad! Stop! Dad! (door opens) Please! Dad! Please! Don't! (door slamming) ♪♪ (man humming) (vocalizing) - ♪ Horace Pete ♪♪ - Found the box of Easter stuff. Some of it is really fucking old. And gross. Anyway, you want to start decorating? - No. - Well, don't leave it for tomorrow. It's gonna be a clusterfuck. - What are you doing? - Uhh, cutting limes. - What for? - For fucking gin and tonics. I’m not asking anymore, I’m just doing, it's fucking stupid. You don't have to use them. We're gonna have limes and lemons and olives like every bar on the face of the earth. - Okay. man: Hey, you know what? I figured out Trump. woman: Yeah? - Yeah. He's the neediest guy in the world. Like, he's really needy and he really needs this to be president more than anything, and we're all gonna vote for him, 'cause we're a generous country and we help people that are in need. - Maybe he just wants to give back. You ever think of that, you cynical chimp? - No, he can't do that. He cannot give back. That's gonna make his hole way deeper. You understand that? Google "Trump charity," okay? All that's gonna come up is, you know, some teenager blowing a black guy, which is what everything connects to, but Trump has a president hole, get it? Nothing short of the presidency is gonna fill that hole, and he's gonna get it like he got that ten billion, 'cause when he got the ten billion, it didn't fill his hole. He went, oh, my God, there's still more hole and my-- my many Russian war brides aren't filling it, and you know, saying hi to my doorman is not filling it and my stupid show, I get to tell Penn Gillette what to do, that didn't fill it. I need to be the leader of the free world and everyone has to love me, like he knows what his hole is and he's going for it, you see? And America, 'cause we're good, we're gonna help him. - Okay. - Okay, so we're all gonna vote for Trump because he's hurting, he's in pain? We're actually gonna let him be our president to be nice, or kind or something? - Yeah, yeah. Like Batboy. Remember Batboy? We're all in on it. - What was Batboy? - The kid with cancer and he wanted to be Batman, so the whole city was like, you're Batman! - I had this friend and she's ten years old. You know, she's-- She's my neighbor. I mean, it's okay if I have a ten-year-old friend, right? - Yeah, you can have one. - Anyway, I talk to her the other day and she said that she had a stomachache and so she-- she said to me, Big Boy-- Well, that's what she calls me, she calls me "Big Boy." She said, um, my stomach hurts so bad, I wanna-- I wanna pound my stomach, 'cause it-- 'cause it hurts. And I said, well, that's not how it works, Esmeralda. If your stomach hurts and you hurt it more, then you hurt more. I said, you have to, you know, find the place in you where it hurts and be kind to it, be good to it, give it milk and honey and medicine and it'll heal and you and it will be okay and... Then I thought, if someone's part of you, how do you stop them from hurting you? And it's... It's by being good to them and being caring to them and giving them milk and honey, you know, and you need to take care of people to hurt you. - Yeah, we're all connected. That hippie shit is true. That's not just Trump, that's our Trump, do you understand? And he's in pain, and he's swollen, and we gotta get some ice on him quick and get him in the White House. - Can't we just tell him he's the president? You know, can't we just pretend, so he'll be okay? - Like Batboy. Leon: Yeah, like Batboy. - Can we Batboy him? - Ugh. Who cares? Whatever. I don't vote, I think it's annoying. - Sylvie. - Hey. Hey, Ricky. - Hi, Ricky. Hey, any news? - Uh, look, guys. I've had everybody in the department looking for Pete. You know, I mean, I've got someone in every precinct. We put out a silver alert, even though he's not old enough, we got his picture everywhere. - That's great. - Been checking even tri-state departments. - Wow. - Friends up in New Jersey state. I mean, we've looked everywhere, guys. Nothing. Nothing's turning up. He ain't been to see Trisha. Nothing. Not a lead, or a story about someone seeing him. Nothing. I mean, I’m sorry, but we're striking out. - Well, thank you. Thanks for all that. That's-- - Yeah. Thank-- Thank everybody, please. - Yeah, just let us know. - Just let us- - Yeah. - Yeah. - If you get some more info. - If there's an update. - Yeah. Um... Guys. Look, this is the hard part. Pete's gone. - Yeah, I know. - No, I mean, like, when someone is missing... Hey, we've had more manpower on this than we've ever had looking for someone. I mean, I've got the fire department involved in looking for him and I hate firemen. - No. - No, it means a lot. - Yeah. - Ricky, thank you. - No. What I’m trying to say is... You know, someone in Pete's condition? He didn't go anywhere. He couldn't have gone anywhere. He's gone. He's in the river or something. And it's hard when a body doesn't-- Doesn't turn up. Look, this isn't the first time I've had to have this talk, but... when it's people you know, it's hard. - What are you trying to say, Ricky? - Horace, he's gone. Pete's gone. He's dead. We gotta call it now. We gotta call him dead. I’m sorry. That's what this is. - Huh. - I'm sorry, guys. - Yeah, give up, Ricky. That's fine. Thanks a lot, man. Thanks for trying. - Ricky, let's go. - Sorry for your loss. Horace: Thanks a lot. Thank you. - Ricky, thank you. Thanks a lot. - Okay, Sylvia. You know... Pete, he... - I know, I know, we knew. Thank you. Some of this stuff is from the '60s. It's kinda cute, though. Oh, I found the famous... Horace Pete's ham recipe, so, you know, I'm gonna-- I'll try to make that. - We're not-- We're not doing Easter. - We're not? - No. - Uh, well, it's tomorrow. All right, um, Horace? Listen. It's been a month. I didn't need Ricky to tell me what we already know. He's gone. So- - So what are you gonna do? - What are you talking about? What the fuck- - What are you-- Why are you saying this to-- What are you saying to me right now? Why are you saying this? - Horace, because, right now is right now. Pete is gone. Are you gonna do Easter? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? - I’m not doing Easter. I’m not doing any of that. None of that makes sense without Pete here. - Okay, so, then close this place down. Go do something else. - I can' t do that. - Why not? - Because he's gonna come back, 'cause he might come back. - He's- - Horace, he is not coming back. Horace. Pete is dead, Horace. Fuck it. You know, Horace, it's time. It's time for you to claim a fucking life. You sat out the first half, now it's time of you to make something of whatever time you fucking have left. - I didn't sit out my life. - No, no, you most certainly did. You and fucking Pete, both you guys. You guys together, like, you were half a guy each. Together, you didn't didn't even add up to a whole. Now, he is gone. You have a chance to be a person. To live a fucking life, I don't care, Horace, I’m saying all of it. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? - I don't know. I don't know, I’m sorry. - Okay, well, there's something you need to know, brother. I’m leaving. - You are? - Yes, I’m going. I’m getting the fuck out of here. You can do what you want, but Harold and I are leaving town on Monday and that's it. I'm getting the fuck out of here. - Where? - Where-- I don't know where. See the country or whatever, just-- Just not here, though. - You're telling me that now? - Yes, now. Yes, now, Horace. This is all you fucking have is right now. Do you understand? I almost died and I got my fucking life back, and I’m not spending it here, there's no fucking way. I hope you don't either, Horace. And I will miss you, but I'm not gonna sit here and watch you rot. - Oh, Pete... Pete. - Horace? You can call him all you want. He doesn't hear you, Horace. Horace. You know, fuck Easter, then, I mean, like, you know, fuck that anyway. I am leaving on Monday. Do something. Please. Don't make me think about you sitting there like... Like that. (door opens, footsteps approaching) - Hey. Hi. I’m Mara. I’m here for the interview. - Sorry? - Oh, you sound like the guy I talked to on the phone. Are you Horace? - Yeah. - Oh, hey. How you doing? Gosh, it's so dark in here. So, I’m here for the job interview. - Oh. - Today. - We're looking for a bartender. - Yes. I'm the person, right here. Look. Goodbye, gone. When do I start? Let's go. - Listen, this isn't a great time for me right now. - Oh. - I'm sorry, I apologize. - Oh, I’m sorry, just give me ten minutes, though. Just give me ten minutes and then you won't have to see me again 'til tomorrow, at work. Horace. - You want an interview now? - Yes, please. I mean, that's what you said and I'm in a hurry. I have popsicles in the car. Popsicles melt. And then it's juice. Who likes juice, Horace? Please? - Sure, have a seat, would you? - Thank you. - Okay. Now, I know this job starts tomorrow, but I’m gonna need next weekend off because I’m gonna go to Chicago. They're having a bit of a-- Like, a little party thing that I want to go to. And I like going to parties. - In Chicago? - Yeah, in Chicago. The land of pizza, yes. This is a nice place. Do you have any termites? Everything's wood. - Yeah. - Yeah. Are you okay? I mean... - Yeah, no, yeah. - Okay. All right. - So, have you... - Um, yes? - ... bartended before? - I have, I've bartended a lot, actually. The last, I was in Greece, I worked at a taverna for a while in Athens, Greece. And then I did a little bit of bartending in Mykonos, 'cause I was there, and I bartended in Chicago at a little club, but I hated the manager. I'm not gonna give you his reference. I hated his guts. I actually took his keys and I threw them in the snow 'cause I knew he wouldn't find them 'til the springtime. I just couldn't stand that guy. I mean, I know I shouldn't be telling you that, 'cause here I am trying to get a job, but... And then I've been everywhere but pretty much, like, North and South Dakota, I've never been. But I love Black Hills Gold, so I should go there one day, right? Are you all right? You look-- - I've had a tough day. - Oh. I'm sorry, let me just.. God, it's driving me crazy, your eyes are, like, soaking wet. They're, like, soaking wet. Do you have an allergy problem or something? - Um. - Look, I’m gonna just go like this. - Okay. - And you're just gonna breathe. - Okay. - Isn't that good? - Yeah. - You know, sometimes, if you just press on the temple-- You have a headache, don't you? - A little bit, yeah. - Look, 'cause, like, your whole face is full of strawberries. You're sensitive, aren't you? Redheads are sensitive. - Yeah, I guess so. - When's your birthday? Are you a Virgo? - Yeah. - I knew it, I knew it, see. I do just a little bit of palm reading and can do horoscopes, charts. This woman taught me. - Who taught you? - Yeah, she was a pill-popping, you know, astrologer, but she taught me how to read charts. It's fascinating, so I'm really good-- I’m really good with people. I'm really great with strangers. - So where did you work besides Chicago and Greece? - Oh, gosh, I worked in Vancouver for a while at this place called the Golfin' Dolphin, but they didn't have alcohol, but I served drinks, but it was just, like, you know, water mixed with, like, flavored juice. I didn't work there long, but that was in Vancouver and that was a lot of fun. And then I worked in Iowa for a while and then Washington, D.C. and then I worked in South Carolina, Charleston. - Where are you from? - Are you-- Originally, I’m from North Carolina. Raleigh, the capital. You been there? - No. - Near Cherry Point. It's like a military base. I went there 'cause I wanted to save my money to get a Hobie Cat, a boat. Do you ever go sailing or anything like that? - No. - Do you know anything about-- Well, you're sensitive. I bet you want to stay out of the sun, right? You probably frizzle, you burn, you know? Ha, look at that, you're smiling! Look at that smile. See, you use every muscle in your face when you smile. You're all sad sack. You know? Can I get you a drink? Maybe that'll cheer you up. Then I can prove to you how good I’m gonna be at this job. - Listen, Mora, can I have your phone number? Maybe I'll call you when-- - Oh! My phone number? - I mean, just so I can call you when we figure out what we're doing, 'cause I’m not sure what we're doing. - Okay, I’m gonna give you a phone number. I don't really have a phone, but I know this guy-- It's a long story. It's this guy I dated for a long time, he was actually an alcoholic and gay and he came to my house and he drank all the sangria and then I had this watermelon and he picked it up and he threw it on the floor and then he wet my bed. I dated him for two years, it took me five to get over him, but I'm gonna give you his number. He'll call you. Ugh, he was a Sagittarius. You know, they say if you look at something green for ten minutes every day, it's supposed to cheer you up. - I didn't know that. - Why don't you come to Chicago with me? I’m not gonna be there long. I don't even know you. That's weird, isn't it? Right? - Sure. - Okay. Oh! You have a jukebox. There's your fun over there. - Yeah. - Do you have any money? - It's free, we just let you give-- - Oh, free? Finally, something free, okay. I'm gonna play a song and I’m gonna get out of your hair. - Okay. - Okay. Any song? - Whatever you want. - Okay. Here's one. This one's for you. Redhead. (song playing) Perfect. All right, I'll see you tomorrow. - Okay. - Okay. Bye! - It's nice to meet you. - What? - I... - Hurry up and say it! This office... The person who is renting and using this office... I was... doing something here... - On the side. - What did you do on the side? Something similar to a detective agency... What the heck were you going around doing? You don't have to worry too much. I... saw the faces of our suspects. What are you talking about? I saw two guys running out of here. I know who they are, so we can go and catch them together. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait one second. So... these guys that you know, were in your office... And they murdered a guy, that you know... and ran away. But on their way out, they happened to run into you? Sir, this is the place. Get ready. Open the door! It's the police! - Open the door! - Who is it? - It's the police. Open the door! - What's going on? My arm! My arm! Hold on a second! One second! What are you doing here? We're tutoring them, it's all completely legal! Where... did the previous tenants go? I came here two weeks ago. And I don't know the previous tenants. Oh, Tae Ho! Why are you coming out of that room? Did you get them mixed up? What are you talking about? That room was just storage space for our equipment. Since we had a lot of communications equipment... And because the rent was so expensive we sent the equipment to the head office, and let the room go up for rent. How does that make any sense? There were two men, and this woman, both of whom you work with, in that room! The two men! Where are they? We didn't come here to play. We are here because of a murder! And I know you ordered them to do all of this! You? So this is how you're going to be? - Jung In! - Yes? Have you ever been to room 866? No. See, Tae Ho? What reason would we have to hire two more male employees? When all we have to do is gather the agents whenever they showed up! I know your job is to trick people. But try to do it in moderation, okay? I'm telling you that I saw them, very clearly, with my own eyes. And you're still acting like this? Then, I guess... I should investigate these invisible men for murder. If you're going to throw around accusations, at least make some sense! Or give us a name! Or why don't you bring some pictures, or any evidence at all? Hey, follow him. Officer! Why are there no security cameras in this building? Can you show me the footage from the elevator camera? That camera... it breaks every time we fix it. So we gave up on it. But I'm wondering if someone might be breaking it on purpose. Wow, seriously... Hey. Why are you following me everywhere I go? Are you worried I'm going to run away? What do you mean? Why would you run away when you didn't do anything wrong? Oh, geez... Joon Gi Moon? The one who owned the sushi restaurant? Did you know him? Then, the murder victim that Im Tae Ho was talking about... How did you know the victim? - Park Seon Woo. - Oh, yes... He was a colleague of mine, below me. We were like blood brothers. We also worked together once. We were partners. I asked him to do something for me. To run a background check on Im Tae Ho. You investigated Im Tae Ho's records? This murder case... Im Tae Ho reported it himself, didn't he? And I'm sure that you found no fingerprints at the scene. Are you suspecting that Im Tae Ho is the killer? Last time, you forced Chan Gyu to make a false statement. But this time, you want to turn a police officer into a murderer? That time, I wanted to figure out his relationship with Baek Shi Yoon. I wanted to see if he would side with Baek Shi Yoon after hearing my orders. I wanted to figure that out. Do you understand what he's saying? That time, Choi Chan Gyu took Baek Shi Yoon's side! So, that means, they already have a relationship some emotional ties. Between Choi Chan Gyu and Baek Shi Yoon! As well as with his boss, Im Tae Ho. If you don't believe me, let's go. I'll show you the truth. After the murders started unfolding, you did nothing... and you never will. President Hwang rescued me... I'm just a life... that was extended, thanks to President Hwang... He never should have acted alone. He may have involved himself even deeper because he worked with Park Seon Woo. He knew, the kind of person he was dealing with. Everyone had the wrong idea about Yong Moon Plan and Park Seon Woo. They say that they're a legal company, associated with the agency externally. But really, they're a private group, moving secretly according to orders. Who could be controlling them? The person who ordered them to monitor us... Think about it carefully. Who was involved in the mission in Macau, three years ago and also involved in Seo Jun Suk's murder and President Hwang's murder? Is there a person that you feel, lately, has been around you all the time? Chief Jung Soo Hyuk? In his position, he is responsible for taking care of retired agents. But, do you think that's all he does? Chief Jung... He was only focused on getting President Hwang's memoir. He was hung up on that memoir... Do you think... he was trying to divert your attention from his real motive? Do you think you are... seeing Chief Jung Soo Hyuk for who he really is? Chief Jung Soo Hyuk... is controlling Park Seon Woo's every step. They said that Detective Im could be accused for the murder. Because it happened inside the Chung Gye Plan office. Hey, but he's a police officer. But there are people out there who try to pin murders on cops. Who? Park Seon Woo of Yong Moon Plan. The man with the weird sunglasses who says, "Chan Gyu..." all the time. But he doesn't show up without an agenda, does he? It looks like someone close to me will be accused of murder. But it's obvious who the real bad guy is. I shouldn't be sitting here doing nothing. That's true... But you should cut all your ties with that man. Not to mention, he isn't the kind of person that we can take on. 99 percent of me agrees with you. But the remaining one percent... is trying to crawl out of me... It's telling me to do what I need to do. Bro, why are you pretending to be the shadow, all of a sudden? Where are you coming from? - I paid off my credit cards. - Oh... wow. That must have been a few million won, at least. Where did you get the money? You know that I'm working for Yong Moon Plan now. You just started. - Did you rob them? - I didn't! Bro, you're hiding something from me, aren't you? Take off your uniform too. It's a piece of evidence. How is this evidence? I got blood on me from trying to save him! Son of a... Hello, sir. I just got a call from the head of the Sung Jang Police Station. Do you remember Lawyer Jo Eun Jung, who was reported missing? Yes, he's the last person to have seen Seo Jun Suk before his death. He has been discovered, as a corpse. Is that so? But, the thing is... in his pants pocket... was Im Tae Ho's business card. For the time being, you won't be leaving this building. Listen carefully! If it becomes news that an active officer has been on a serial killing spree the entire country will be upside down. Mr. President. What are you talking about? What do you mean, a serial killing spree? Take extra precaution to make sure nothing leaks to reporters! - Understand? - Without even investigating... How can you accuse me like this? That's why... I will... interrogate you myself. He said that I paid him three million won a week? It wasn't three million won per week. It was three million won per month. Please think about it. In that raggedy office... we have three employees. Do I look insane to you? How could I give him three million won a week? The rest of the money must be from... Baek Shi Yoon. You probably knew it from the start. Im Tae Ho's obsession with money. Why would I take money from Baek Shi Yoon for no reason? I was paid in cash, so there's no evidence, which is why he's able to lie. He uses psychological warfare to appeal to the emotion inside all of you. That's the kind of work Baek Shi Yoon always did with the agency. He probably did the same to Im Tae Ho. Park Seon Woo asked me to bring Lawyer Jo's computer out of the station. Park Seon Woo came to the police station, and with the equipment in his trunk he erased all of the data on the hard drives. So I went all the way to the police station, with my specialized equipment and erased the hard drives? If it were you, Mr. President... would you be able to do something like that in front of the station doors? Shi Yoon... just wanted to know the truth about the mission from three years ago. And I'm sure there were some people who didn't want the truth to be leaked. The Baek Shi Yoon of three years ago caused a lot of harm. He caused the death of his own colleague. Baek Shi Yoon would want that truth to be covered up forever. So, then... Who is the murderer? If you give me some time, I promise you that I will find out. Thinking about it, putting all of the pieces together... I wonder if Im Tae Ho is the murderer. Okay, then. We have two very contradictory statements... So we won't make any hasty conclusions. There is no evidence, nor are there any witnesses. Oh... There is one thing. I told you before... That if I find out that you made any money from anything outside of your job I will make sure to have you fired. Three million won per week... In my 30 years in the police force... This is my first time seeing... A man as ridiculous as you. Hong Gyu Man, a secretary-general, three years ago. Jung Soo Hyuk, Team Leader of the mission in Macau, three years ago. Park Seon Woo of Yong Moon Plan. Yoon Sang Min, who is building the Hallyu Core Mall. The man who ordered for the Macau mission to be aborted. And this man executed that plan. An intimate relationship in which they help each other. Bay Star Hong Kong, who took over Korean Commerce Bank. And I heard that there were... strong Koreans, backing them up. Behind the Hallyu Core Mall, there are many investors. Among them... Bay Star Hong Kong. In terms of industries that require proper licensing from the government Bay Star Hong Kong is involved in almost all of them. They're very impressive... but that's why it's risky. Does Bay Star Hong Kong have a direct relationship with Yoon Sang Min, or not? The main investor of Hallyu Core Mall, is Lockfield Infra Investment. The representative is Kang Moon Soo. Grandson to the owner of Kyunghee Bank. He studied in New York when he was young. And Yoon Sang Min is a Korean American, from New York. Although, I'm sure there are countless Koreans in New York... And the man taking orders from all of them, our killer. And, working under Park Seon Woo, the suspects of our current murder case. The two unknowns. If our predictions are right, and Chief Jung is Park Seon Woo's boss... It's good to look at this from different angles. If we catch these two guys, as well as Park Seon Woo... We could knock them off balance, and get them all at once. You could have came home to change. Why did you ask me to bring you clothes? Your lips are chapped too... - I might have to work overnight. - What case is it? And your clothes... Whose blood is this? Hey! Why are you staring at us like that from over there? It's making me angry. - Are you monitoring him right now? - No, no, we're not. They just wanted to say hello. - Hey, say hello one more time. - Yes, hello. I'm pretty quick with my wits. Something is... not going well, right? This is all... because of that Park Seon Woo. Park Seon Woo? I knew I had to watch out, but I didn't know he would come at me so fiercely. - What's going on between you two? - Don't worry. - I just have to solve this quickly. - How are you going to do that? He's ten times sneakier than you. What is going on between you two? He's trying to frame me for something that he did. What? Did he... do anything to harm a person? Is that what this blood is from? Go home. We never should have taken his money. It's all because of me, isn't it? I kept nagging about our loans and the lesson fees... - All I talked about was money... - Don't say that... What family doesn't struggle with money? If I didn't scare you with my words... You would have cut that Park Seon Woo out of your life earlier. But I didn't know anything. I just got excited when I saw money. This is all because of me... We're a family. Why do we have to throw blame around? Don't worry. Just go home. Justice will prevail. Remember that. You can come home by tomorrow morning, right? It's Soo Bin's birthday... We should blow out the candles together. Then of course I will. Hey, let me go! Please, let me go! I can't stay here. They told me to stick with him at all times! Who? The president of Yong Moon Plan... I have to listen to him! Please, let me... You have to hide out somewhere that no one can find you! What bastard, in his right mind, stays home after stabbing a man? This is his house. Stay here until things quiet down. You... - You can't call my mom. - I don't even know her number. I only stabbed him once... Only once. Do you think he died? What do I do now, Han Gyul? Hey, how long will he be here? Suck it up... You little... Your phone. You better never record me again. Your voice recorder. I gave that to the police at the station... Oh, is this it? The three million won you owe me? Yes. Since you paid me back, aren't we done talking? Representative... I'm a little scared. Of what? I'm... I'm wondering if I'm also going to be tangled up in Detective Im's case. It's true that I hurt your feelings. I know that as well. Are you planning on doing something to me too? I have no idea what you're talking about. I would appreciate it if you left me out, Representative. I only did what I was told. Detective Im didn't do anything either, but if he was falsely accused... Then it will be easy for you to do the same thing to me. Who was falsely accused? You know better than anyone, that Detective Im did nothing wrong. - He did... nothing wrong? - Yes. - Detective Im didn't commit any crimes. - He's a murderer. - That's what you're making them believe. - That's not true. That's not true, this isn't true. You've created all of this. He's a murderer. Im Tae Ho is a murderer. Do you know what your biggest problem is? You're wasting your life doing useless things, thinking useless thoughts. You can't even pass the exam to become a police officer... Yet you pass up the opportunity for special employment with the agency. I didn't know you would do that. You think your 20s will last forever, don't you? I think you wasting your life is a bigger crime than committing a murder... Who are you accusing of participating in a murder? Will it be the same... as what happened three years ago? No explanation, no closure, just an abrupt halt and recall. All I have to do is understand it myself. "You were just doing your job." "Kim Seo Ahn was simply fulfilling her duties as a diligent agent." Do you really think I did what I did because I was ordered to? Lots of people were looking for that memoir. That memoir... had to leave yours hands in order for you to be safe. I couldn't just sit back. Nonetheless, you tricked me, Seo Ahn. And I... I trusted you, more than anyone. You and I... have always lied in order to do the right things. All of the missions we worked on together, until three years ago... Weren't they all like that? But we never tricked the ones closest to us. Coming to find you here... And talking about things like this... It's all against the rules. But I really wanted to talk to you. If you... will be understanding of everything... Even if it's not right away, but if you will understand eventually... Then I will continue to stay by your side. Seo Ahn. I don't know... Whether these are real tears... or if they are part of a mission. What do I have to do to get your trust back? Should I quit my job? Or should I find the information that you need from them? Seo Ahn. Didn't you think, at least once, that you were being used by Chief Jung? In order to hide what he has been creating... He put you right in front of me. It's true that Chief Jung tricked me. Because he told me that this was all to protect you. Then, it's all over now. Since we know... that we all tricked each other. Then does that mean it's really over? Nothing comes after that? - Hello. - Hello! Min Ki! Sit down for a second. Hey, we're sorry... about beating you up that time. Your grandma must have been very shocked... Hey, we're good guys. The shadow told us not to look for you, so we never did. - Why are you here? - Min Ki. You're a good source of information in this neighborhood, right? - You're close with the police too. - Who said that? Earlier today... Was someone stabbed with a knife? Why... do you ask? There is this crazy kid... who is going around bragging about it. He said he really used his skills, or something like that... - At Chung Gye Plan? - Yes? A man was killed. They said it looked like a spiteful relationship... Because he was stabbed so many times. He was stabbed many times? Not just once? Hey, where is everyone? We got some new information. We're all going to Im Tae Ho's house. What? Oh... Put him in handcuffs immediately! Everybody is going crazy... Starting with President Seo. Hey, take those off. Wait, what's going on? Why do you need to see our car? Please cooperate. Please... open the door for us. We need to do this to prove Tae Ho's innocence. Why are you trying to prove the innocence of a person who did nothing wrong? Three million won per week... But Mr. President... Where did you get this new information? It was from an anonymous source. Anonymous! - Hurry up, get in there. Hurry. - Yes. Honey. Are you okay? Did you get any sleep? Yes. Once this is over... I will get my revenge on President Seo for this. Yoon Sang Min and Park Seon Woo... and... anyone else that is involved. I will investigate it all. What's this? - We found something. - Come here. This... What do you think this is, Team Leader Song? When you choke someone by the neck... Seo Jun Seok and President Hwang's... necks? Tell Im Tae Ho to come out here! Wait a minute. What is that? That wasn't in our car before! Sir. This is what I think, in all seriousness. There are times when you must run away, even when you did nothing wrong. I think that's your best move, to make some time for yourself. Honey. You trust me, right? Take good care of the kids. Hey, hey, hey! Look, look, look! Look over there! Go catch him! Oh... Hey... - What are you doing? - Let go of me! Let go! Will you be okay? Are you okay? - Come here! - Hey! - What's wrong? - One second. Hey! Run softer! Learn how to run the right way! - Cheers. - Cheers. The American investors were threatening to withdraw on us. But we're good, since Representative Yoon brought those Chinese people here. Our Representative Yoon... has the right mentality. I was a little bit uncertain, honestly... Because I'm not sure how much Hong Gyu Man can cover up for us. Weren't you constantly negotiating with Chief Jung? This person? He wouldn't tell me. Whether we can break the legs of about ten tenants who refuse to leave. Or if we can light the entire district on fire until there isn't anything left. And whether or not Hong Gyu Man would be able to cover that up. What do you think? Would you be able to cover that up? Or not? Once we build the Hallyu Core Mall we will profit one trillion won immediately, upon completion. Between people who manipulate trillions of dollars in order to boost our economy and people who make 20 to 30 million won per year... Who is more important? Even the ones in power don't have this much ambition... That's why our country is in this state. The drive to place our country's economy as a top priority, is severely lacking. Hong Gyu Man. Yes? With the profits we gain from the Hallyu Core Mall I plan to use those funds when my father retires. And since I'm mentioning that... Isn't that when you'll be in charge? Through Chief Jung, I will make sure we take extra precautions. There's a problem with your attitude, Hong Gyu Man. Those friends over there join forces to push out companies like San Ah Group... Hong Gyu Man, are you really keeping us in mind constantly? Or, do you want to skip becoming Prime Minister... and go up there, instead? - Definitely not... - That's what I thought. I have yet to hear from my father... about how arrogant you are. You... Do you have some moral lines that you're not able to cross? I don't. Then... Why are you not helping Yoon Sang Min properly? I will pay more attention to it. Pay more attention? Is this a matter of paying attention? Don't you know what happens when you turn against the New York Study Group? The Prime Minister position, and everything else, will fly away. We'll be disposed of our luxury of being alive, just like that. Don't you know how important this is? Go Moon... I have something I'm curious about. You killed my junior colleague... - Whose request was it? - Don't try to find out. Things will get harder for you. Three years ago, when the mission in Macau was recalled... Was it the request of New York Study Group? This little... Are you still hung up on that? Why did you accept that request? Were you giving us permission to kill our junior colleague? Think about where they come from. That request was equivalent to an order given from a much higher level. Do you think you could have stopped it, if you were me? If you gave them a stricter order to stop the mission... If you just made sure that Baek Shi Yoon followed your orders... Then nothing would have happened. Don't you understand who made the mistake? I apologize... I didn't think it through. The only thing you can do is forget about it. Because every victory comes with a loss. I will forget everything. From now on... With everything that will happen because of the Hallyu Core Mall... You will have to cover for them. Do you understand? Yes. Go apologize to them first. To this point, I have been lacking in my duties. From now on, I will work harder. Good luck with that. You're still keeping our secret, aren't you? Why aren't you answering me? Do you really think Detective Im would come here to hide in broad daylight? Well our boss said that Detective Im was won over by the owner of this bar. Who says something like that in today's day and age? And if that's the case, why aren't you investigating our president? And as far as Park Seon Woo's testimony goes... You don't trust it, do you? - We'll get going then. - Sorry for the trouble. Goodbye. Business is slow too... Do you think you'll have to go to the police station again? Business has its ups and downs. And so what if I go to the police station again? I'm close to the officers there. Are you not worried at all? After Park Seon Woo is finished with Detective Im... He could try to choke you next. If we fight, I'll win. How are you joking around right now? I'm worried to death over here... Smile, Writer Bae. They say, "If you can't avoid it, enjoy it." Mr. President. Do you know how much of an optimist you are? That's the only way to deal with this situation. We will win, no matter what. We will... win no matter what? By the way, did you start editing your script? Yes, I started by changing the main character. How? He's not a superhero anymore. He's someone who could leave if he wanted to... But he's staying behind to help his neighborhood. A typical... former secret agent. What? - Hello. - Oh, hi. Oh, Chan Gyu! - Do you work here? - Yes. - You must be working part-time. - Yeah. Would you like some stew before you go? I'm buying. Hey... How much could you make? Hey! How much do you make right now? - 6,030 won. - 6,030 won. Please eat. But, you said... he was going around bragging about stabbing a man? Oh, I think that was a lie. But I think it's someone Han Gyul knows. It's Han Gyul, the kid that I fought last time? Not fought. The one who beat you up. Hey, I didn't get beat up. I fought... I fought... - Let's just say that then. - Let's just say that. But the suspect that Detective Im saw wasn't a young kid. He said that there were two men, in their late 30s. Yes... yes. So... you're saying that there's a young kid involved too? Then, Chan Gyu. It could be... that Park Seon Woo committed this crime in two parts. One stabbed him first. Then the guys cleaned up after. And anyway, since it's true that he held that knife... You should advise him to turn himself in. Thank you for coming! Excuse me! I heard... that Kim So Mi received her 50 million won deposit, in its entirety. So we came to ask if we'll also get our deposits back as soon as we sign our agreements. If you can at least do that much... then we can move out... even though we'll still be at a loss... Lawyer Seo. I'm sorry. The special time period for the full deposit refund, has ended. - A special time period? - What is she saying? - What are you talking about? - It's not a sale period! Are you mocking us, or what? It's not that you don't have the money, you just don't want to give it to us. - Let's just go, come on. - Let's get out of here. Look here, Representative! Do you really think we'll fall apart, because you keep playing us like this? No way! Don't you know that people who have no money live to protect their pride? I really can't believe this... One moment, please. There is, still one opportunity. We can't give you 50 million won anymore, now that the special time period is over. But, I will swear on my name, and promise you, 40 million won. - 40 million won? - 40 million? Really? Can you really give all of us, 40 million won? Yes. Our representative will tell you the conditions. Since you say you live day by day to protect your pride... I don't want to hurt that. Out of the 80 tenants who are not moving out of the culture district... To the first ten tenants who sign their agreements and come here... I will give 40 million won. What did you say? Then what about the rest of us? We will give it to the first ten tenants who come back with the agreement. What the hell are you saying? You horrible human being... If you're going to do it, give it to all of us. First come, first served? After this, it's very possible that I won't give you a cent. The most diligent of you will protect their pride with their 40 million won. - Oh, my... - What is this... So you're trying to put us against each other? We have no reason to be swindled by this, let's just go. - Come on, let's go. - Let's go together. Why aren't you coming? What do you plan on doing with that 40 million won? Honey, come on! But what if we really come out with nothing after this? We did fine so far, making ends meet! - Come! - I don't know! Mr. President, you've finished planning our mission in your head, haven't you? This time, we'll need Chan Gyu to take on an important role. I'll do anything you ask. Thank you, Chan Gyu. I have to get out of this as soon as possible. My kids are still young... They would be shocked if they knew their dad was suspected of murder. I just remembered, it's my oldest daughter's birthday today. And it's just going to pass by like this. Even though us meeting at Chung Gye Plan was an ill-fated relationship... What was an ill-fated relationship? We... got along like blood brothers. We did? - When? - Wow, seriously... But I was thankful that you gave me 150,000 won more than the others... So I will repay you with this favor. Hey... Thanks. For us, as a life mentor and his apprentice... We shared a lot with each other, don't you think? - When? - Oh, seriously... There will be moments when you suddenly remember these things... I will go with Chan Gyu tomorrow morning. We've been working together all along. The remaining one percent that's crawling out... I have that too. Anything I'm doing with Jung Yeon, I know I can do to the best of my ability. What? How should we understand this relationship? What is there to understand? We're friends. Well, more than friends... I guess we should say, best friends? Aren't we all friends now? Aside from our difference in age. Hey... of course we are! And I look young for my age... I keep being told that I look young for my age. It's really... difficult to be modest these days. As scary as Park Seon Woo can be, don't underestimate us either. Because, we're all friends. That man doesn't have any friends. I know him well. Oh, but Shi Yoon. - There's something you must do for me. - What? Since I have to meet Han Gyul tomorrow... Please teach me the most important, or the most basic, element of fighting. Hey, Im Soo Bin! I heard that your dad was in a chase in our neighborhood yesterday. Except he wasn't the one chasing. He was being chased. - Wasn't your dad a police officer? - Shut up, and keep stuffing your face. Oh! We should have recorded the chase and put it on the web! I would have gotten 10,000 "likes"! Get a horde of fans! And it would climb up the internet search engine rankings! Soo Bin! What's that? Blood? Oh, spicy rice cakes? - Did you fight someone? - Did you kill someone? I'm asking you if you killed someone! Your dad is a police officer... You shouldn't say that. Then why are you running away? - Come here. - Let go of me. Happy birthday. I'm sorry that I'm a day late. This... is that watch that high school students like these days. Tell me now. Did you kill someone or not? I didn't. Soo Bin... Your father is... is trying to catch a really bad guy, and that's why he's hiding right now. If you were five years younger, that's how I would have explained it. Um... I still don't know how I should explain it. But you'll still... believe in me, won't you? I told you... that I want to make this a better world for you. Then are you saying that I was the one who was wrong? I'm not saying that. I'm telling you to believe in me, Soo Bin. I'm asking you to believe in me. We're family. We know each other better than anybody knows anybody. You shouldn't have run away if you did nothing wrong! Okay. That was... my mistake. Well, I have to go now. There were times when... I... didn't believe in you. So I'm reflecting on that. So, from now on, I will try to trust you, wherever you go and whatever you do. So... Soo Bin, I would like it if you trusted me too. I won't run away again. So... from now on... Believe in me. Please. Han Gyul. The guy you beat up last time... - The one I fought... - The one you fought... Choi Chan Gyu... He wants to fight you one more time. The reason you keep failing your exam... is because you spend all your time working part-time jobs, isn't it? There's nothing I can do about that. Don't you regret giving up that special position at the agency? I don't regret it. If I took that, that would mean I would never see you or Shi Yoon again. Especially you, Jung Yeon. You're even supplying the entertainment. You seem to be having a blast. You said you wanted to fight. Are you on a date instead? Jung Yeon. It's dangerous, go over there. Hey, speak with some respect. Isn't it obvious that I'm older than you? I'm taller too. I'll keep these guys out of it. We'll fight, one on one. - Since you asked for it. - What if I win? That won't happen. Then if I do win, you'll have to do me a favor. And if I lose, just let Jung Yeon go quietly. - Sure. - Hey. Whether he wins or loses, he still gets the benefit. Hey, it doesn't matter. I'll just end it quickly. It works like this. The one who attacks first, is at a loss. The rule is simple. If he strikes, all you have to do is dodge. And since you're fast, you can dodge him until the end. Here, try to hit me. Okay... I'll be okay. For real, this time. One more time. After you continue to dodge like this... Counter punch. The opponent may attack first... But you can turn the tables on him instantly. You need to get your ass beat. Yes, Officer Han? I'll call you once we're making good progress. You can go to Yong Moon Plan when I do. Okay. Delivery. I'm okay. The opponent attacked first, but you can turn the tables on him instantly. [Important Issue - Controversial Issue. Result Report - Organized by Chief Jung] [Park Seon Woo. Kim Tae Kyung. Park Dae Man.] Hey, let's see. Why are you like that, after one punch? After you beat me up last time... I can't say I won... I just got lucky when I went in with that punch. Anyway, since you gave up first, you have to do me a favor. Think about it. Why does my friend have to be accused of murder? When the real murderer is out there. Just tell me where his house is. Please. You said that you were hiding this secret for your friend's sake. You cover for your friend, and you fight really well... You're not doing anything bad. This is for the good of your friend. Come on. Where is your friend's house? Hello. Hello, there. - Are you moving? - What is this about? We just got a call. He said that he is the murder suspect for this case and that he will be coming to the police station at 5 p.m. to turn himself in. But we got to talking. He said that he was persuaded by you, Representative. By you. We wanted to have you there while he confessed, so we came here early. Please, continue to pack up. Don't worry about us. We have about 30 minutes left. I'm... sorry. I'll pay you back for the flyers. - How... much is it? - It's probably around 30,000 won. Hey, give me 10,000 won. Kid, you should do your job right next time, okay? There are times when good guys get the short end of the stick. But still... I'm not really wasting my life away... Like Park Seon Woo said, am I? You're working very hard to clear the names of those wrongfully accused. This may be the time in your life, during which you shine the brightest. Let's go. Oh, yes... He didn't show up? He didn't call either? I understand. We will withdraw. Yes. The suspect must have had a change of heart. - You got lucky this time. - Yes. Start being a decent citizen. Hello. As I told you before, I found a good restaurant for you. I'm thankful for your concern... But I'll just stay here. Mother... If you continue to stay here... The only thing left, is forced execution. I heard, from Shi Yoon... That what you say or what you do... Not of it is genuine. And that it's all part of a mission. All I want to do is tell you the truth, Mother. If you do this, you will be kicked out without compensation. Don't listen to anything Shi Yoon says. He said that he will be the shadow who protects this neighborhood. But in reality, nothing will change. You, as well as Shi Yoon... will lose this fight. This is... a fight that you can't win. Do you think so? Wow, this guy is really getting on my nerves. Why don't you stop, and turn yourselves in? Wow... Here you are... I learned from you too. You can't say you have nothing to do with Park Seon Woo, can you? - Sir, we'll go first. - Sir, congratulations! - Oh, sure. Go ahead! - Yes. Good work, and thank you. We will win, no matter what. That's right. Let's go. [Neighborhood Hero] If we just catch Park Seon Woo, we can catch the rest of them easily. Yong Moon Plan. You're operating this company, correct? I have nothing to do with it. We'll have to look into it more deeply. Im Tae Ho! You're dismissed. Pack your bags and go home. Shouldn't we take care of it quickly? Even if you do this, I don't think you will be able to dodge the bullet. Someone made a proposal. And what is the result after trusting you? - I must hear it, coming from you. - That's enough! Chief Jung! Who is it that you're protecting? Tell me what you want,what you like, It's okay I'mma little curious too Tell me if it's wrong, If it's right, I don't care I can keep a secret, can you? Got my mind on your body and your body on my mind Got a taste for the cherry, I just need to take a bite Don't tell your mother, kiss one another Die for each other, we're cool for the summer (Ha) Oooh, Oooh Take me down into your paradise Don't be scared cause I'm your body type Just something that we wanna try Cause you and I, we're cool for the summer Tell me if I won, if I did, what's my prize? I just wanna play with you, too Even if they judge, fuck it all, do the time I just wanna have some fun with you Got my mind on your body, and your body on my mind Got a taste for the cherry, I just need to take a bite Don't tell your mother, kiss one another Die for each other, we're cool for the summer (Ha) Oooh, Oooh Take me down into your paradise Don't be scared cause I'm your body type Just something that we wanna try Cause you and I, we're cool for the summer (Ha) We're cool for the summer We're cool for the summer (Shhhh...don't tell your mother) Got my mind on your body, and your body on my mind Got a taste for the cherry, I just need to take a bite (Take me down) Take me down into your paradise (Don't be scared) Don't be scared cause I'm your body type Just something that we wanna try (wanna try) Cause you and I (you and I), we're cool for the summer (Take me down) We're cool for the summer (Don't be scared) Cause I'm your body type Just something that we wanna try Cause you and I, we're cool for the summer (Ha) Oooh We're cool for the summer ORTSEAM™ ♫ Oh, my God, please help me ♫ ♫ Knee-deep in the river trying to get clean ♫ ♫ He says wash your hands, get out the stains ♫ ♫ But you best believe, boy, there's hell to pay ♫ ♫ Yeah, you best believe, boy, there's hell to pay, saying ♫ ♫ Oh, my God, please help me ♫ ♫ Neck-deep in the river screaming for relief ♫ ♫ He says, it's mine to give but it's yours to choose ♫ ♫ You're gonna sink or swim, you're gonna learn the truth ♫ ♫ No matter what do, you're gonna learn the truth, saying ♫ ♫ Ate the bread that once was stones ♫ ♫ Fell from a cliff, never broke a bone ♫ ♫ Bowed down to get the kings overthrown ♫ ♫ And I'm all alone and the fire grows ♫ ♫ And I'm all alone and the fire grows ♫ [cigarette hisses] ♫♫ [classical] Does this hurt? I'd never want to hurt you. The first few years, I couldn't bear to be touched. Talking was torture because of the burns. But I adapted, learned to communicate with the tools at hand. [clicker clicks] Kept me distracted. Kept me from scratching my scars open. ♫♫ [woman singing opera] Ahem. That was my father's. Second War, paratrooper. Dropped men behind the lines at night. Can't talk. Snipers. So... [clicking] Crickets. Wow. [chuckle] I just want you to know that working on this case has been a gift. Yes. I know that I stumbled at first, but I've grown. I saw the video. You surpassed all my expectations. Thank you. That' all I've ever wanted. To stand in front of a jury, wow them with my eloquence, and... it's all thanks to you. No. And I want you to know that, no matter what happens in this case, it's not going to affect our feelings, is it? No. W-Why do you keep shoving these fucking pictures at me? I mean, they do get a closer look. You got to be really strong to do that. I don't even know what that means. When do I get my car back? That's it? That's all you got to say to me? He already told you he doesn't know anything. No. You're the one that said that. He hasn't asked a damn question. Look, I know it doesn't look good, but there's not a law against having a dead snitch in your trunk. So that's why you killed him? Because he was a snitch? Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Yeah, I killed him, I threw him in my trunk, and then I called you guys. God damn. Be real, man. Look, he has an alibi. All right? All you have to do is call Donald Cooperman. That's it. We called, and his assistant says he doesn't want to get involved. Great, but you still have the photos that show that he was serving Cooperman a subpoena at the exact time that this guy was getting stabbed and put in my client's trunk. - This guy. - That's right. What time was that? Uh-- You said you knew the exact time. - Did I? - We don't know the exact time that this guy was stabbed. Cool. Neither do I. But I would like to know why are there people sticking dead bodies in your client's trunk. To frame him, obviously. We have motive. Karl Stoltz was investigating two of your clients on a drug deal. You want me to give you some more motive? He killed my client and tried to kill me, so there you go. Yeah, there's all kind of fucking motive. I get it. But you got no prints, no blood, no weapon, none of that shit. So unless you're going to arrest me, I think we're done here. Patty: No, so I thought I had more time this morning. - Man: Sorry. - Patty: Excuse me. So I decided to make breakfast like an adult, And everyone saying "Avocado toast, avocado toast," so I'm there with an avocado in this hand and trying to get the pit out. You call. The fucking knife slips, right? And it slices me right fucking there on my middle finger, mind you, which I fucking need. And it's like four stitches, they're saying. And I think there's, like, seven to ten days, and then it's going to be fine. [cough cough] But I've never had to deal with that before. Talk to me. Look, I'm-- I'm telling you, it's- - What's going on? [muttering] Oh, my God, what's going on? What's going on? Just talk to me. Um... um...okay. Uh, I don't-- I don't know. Um... do you-- How about a story? - Yeah? - [breathing heavily] Um, so... Uh, I fucking do remember one. Uh, there one-- there once was an oyster whose story I tell that found that some sand had gotten into his shell. It was only a grain, but it gave him great glee for oysters have feelings-- Just tell me it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. You're fine. You're okay. You're okay. You're okay. You're okay. So you admit that you are a liar. I lied about Ryan Larson, but that does not make me a liar. To lie is to be a liar be definition. Anan: If I may explain-- The question is not if you're a liar because you are. The question is, were you lying when you said he was suicidal or are you lying now? Or when you broke your oath to the Church not to reveal the secrets of the confessional. I would like to explain. You have already tried. You can try again with the jury. Let's just hope none of them are Catholics or people who care about the truth. Clearly Mr. McBride has bigger legal problems than our case. Why hasn't he been charged yet? Do you really think he killed someone? Come on. I mean, I know you hate the guy, but-- but murder? He's killed others-- not directly, but by his actions as a defense lawyer releasing killers. This is a huge break for us, whether McBride gets charged or not. It's a distraction for him. Can you imagine the pressure that he's under? Plus, it means that Patty... whatever her name is is going to have to bear more of the burden, which is great. She's never tried a case. You've never tried a case. I didn't go to Laverne Law School. Wow. Look at you, so confident. - [click] - Lucy: Thank you. So McBride is going to file for a continuance. It would be malpractice not to. And I say that we oppose it strongly. - Are you sure about that? - Absolutely. Every single day that this case drags on, Borns Tech is vulnerable to a decline in stock value, and that makes America vulnerable. I mean, letting a nobody like Billy McBride hold up a great corporation with a frivolous and ridiculous lawsuit? It's not just wrong, it endangers everything that matters to our c-c... c-c-c... c-c... [deep inhale] country. [exhale] Ahem. Lucy, do you need me to fill a prescription for you? F-- [chuckle] I'm fine. Yeah. You seem...fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I swear. I'm fine. Man: So Rothenberg clearly feels that greed is ruining our society, but is that greed systemic or a result of individual choices? - Hello. Can I help you? - Hi. Uh, yeah, Denise McBride, please. - Denise? - Denise McBride. - And who are you? - Don't worry about it. - Come on. - Denise: Sorry. It's okay. Go ahead. - Sorry. - It's okay. - Boy, am I. - What is going on? What happened to your hand? Is my dad okay? - It's avocado-- - Did something happen? Was there an accident? Why are you here? Your dad's fine. Your dad's fine, okay? He had a little bit of a panic attack. Panic attack? Like a heart attack? - Is he in the hospital? - Like an anxiety attack. He's fine, though. He wouldn't go to the hospital. Of course he wouldn't. It's like an anxiety thing, you know. - He's okay. - He's fine, okay? I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to scare you. Jesus, Patty. I'm sorry. Look. Uh, the reason-- the reason why I'm-- I'm here is, um... you seem to be the only person who knows how to ground him. And he could really use that right now. So if there's anything that you can do, I just- - I'd really appreciate it. Okay? Why are you doing this? What do you mean? This case. Why are any of you doing it? It's destroying him. It looks like it's destroying you. My mom is acting like a complete crazy person. Okay, with all due respect, your mother's not my fucking problem. Okay? And, uh, no one's getting paid for this. So I don't know why the fuck we're doing this. But... everyone needs a reason to wake up in the morning, and it's a pretty good fucking reason. I'm having a day, okay? Okay. So... are you in? - Of course. - Great. Go learn something. His tongue and his dick were cut off. LAPD didn't mention it? No. They didn't find his tongue, but his dick was in his mouth. Jesus Christ. What the hell's happening here, man? We honestly don't know. But, obviously, someone's mad enough to send you a message, and he was the message. But we don't know. Here you go. All records of foreign sales by Borns Tech of cluster bombs. Are you kidding me? I asked Borns Tech. They just say they don't make them. We're asking for all of Karl Stoltz' military records, too. We need to tie him to Borns Tech and prove that they hired him to kill Rachel Kennedy. That guy doesn't have any records. Go serve the State Department, the Pentagon. DOD. Oh, believe me, I'm gonna serve all of them. I'm just starting with you. I told you what I told you as a favor. I understand that. Sorry to be such an asshole, man, but I got to do what I got to do. Fucking with the FBI over one case. Sure you want to do that? Yeah, pretty sure. What's up, bud? What are you doing? I'm drawing your picture. Why would you be doing that? You got a really good face. Bullshit. Don't give me that. No, no, really. You got some great character-- Who are you doing this for? Seriously. Just for practice, just for the heck of it. This is what I do. I sit here all day, and I draw-- - You've been here all day? - ...people as they come by. All day, yeah. And you draw other people, too. - Yeah, plenty of them. - Let me see. I can't because actually I gave them the pictures. Would you like your picture? - You'll give it to me? - Absolutely. Here we go. All yours. Enjoy. Okay. Sorry about that, man. You just never know. - You know what I mean? - It's not a problem. - Enjoy it. - Okay, buddy. I haven't stuttered once in over six weeks. But you stuttered yesterday and the day before. It was on one word. It was on one stupid little word. And you know what the word was? Country. Country. And you know why I probably hit that word? It was because I was in the presence of Callie, who's a card-carrying c-c-cunt. [chuckle] Good for you. You no longer have a speaking part in the trial. Okay, first of all, if I were to stutter in court, which I won't, but if I were, that would only serve to humanize me in front of the jury, which could run to the benefit of our very inhuman- and monstrous-seeming client. You put me on this case because I'm smart and I'm talented, and I have done great work, thanks to you. I've done it-- behind the scenes, maybe, but I- - I deserve to be seen doing it. Shaken confidence does not serve the client or the firm. My confidence is not shaken. Mine is. Come on. I'm ready for this. Let me do it. Please. You'll still be a valuable member of the team. And a dear friend. Are you breaking up with me? [click] - Good night. - Good night. Callie. I hear you're back on top with Borns Tech. Not surprising. You always seem to get what you want in the end. The only thing I want in the world is you. That's why-- why I texted Denise: because I want to be a part of your life, - all parts of your life. - Uh-huh. Well, your methodology is disqualifying. I'm so- - I'm s-- I'm sorry-- You traumatized my daughter. You traumatized me in the process. We have no future together. If you never believe anything I say again, believe that. Hey. If you care anything about what's left of your little family unit, you might want to tell your ex-husband to cry uncle because when I get done with him... It's just difficult to destroy dads without daughters becoming collateral damage. Sometimes ex-wives, too. Fuck you. Finally. You get stuck in the stairwell? Move. Let's look at the arrest report. [chatter] Man: Yeah. I'm on it. You did all this? It's impressive. I hope my daughters grow up to be this capable. You're a great lawyer, Lucy, with a great future. But not everybody is cut out for trial work. Woman: Are you done with that? He did not! Hey. What do you want from me? Dad, it's me. I stuck out my neck for you. Now you live up-- [sigh] All right. What took you so long? They had to make the shit. Okay, so I got yours with no onions. How you like it. Dad, you at least have to take a bite of it. I will. You should call a doctor. I told you, it's just a panic attack. You sure your mom's okay with you staying here? Yeah, she seemed fine. Did you ask her? - No. - That's what I thought. Well, she's been really busy lately. She's on the phone more than usual. How's your mom and, uh, and your aunt Callie? How are they doing? Gross. I don't know. Okay? - I don't ask. - I don't blame you. Can you watch anything else? Yeah. Rudy or High Noon. [sigh] You sure you're okay? Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Well, you look good. So-- Yeah, okay. Thanks. And for what it's worth, I'm proud of you. [siren blares] ♫ I don't like staying at home ♫ ♫ When the moon is bleeding red ♫ ♫ Woke up stoned in a back seat ♫ ♫ From a dream where my teeth fell out of my head ♫ ♫ Cut it up, cut it up, yeah ♫ ♫ Everybody's on something here ♫ ♫ My God, same chemical ♫ ♫ Best friend's skeleton whispering in my ear ♫ ♫ Walk with me to the end ♫ ♫ Stare with me into the aby-- ♫ [radio off] [police radio chatter] Fuck. Hey. I thought it was you. How are you? How's it-- Let me see your license. Oh, come on. You know who I am. Give me your license. Okay. Here you go. Brittany Gold. Get out of the car. I'm sorry about the tape. Don't worry. Billy won't show it to anyone, especially not your wife. Karl Stoltz is dead. You know who that is, right? Did you really think I was going to let a bitch like you set me up? I'm really sorry-- You know what? I could run you in right now for the vials of shit that I know you have on your person. - Fucking bitch! - Aah! Chain in or out? In, please. All right, listen, I don't know who's going to be there today, okay? - Yes. - I need you on your A game. - All right? - Okay. Laser focused. Okay? - Pee less. - Right. Also, please learn how to tie your own tie because you're a grown-ass man. - Oh, well. - [sigh] I'm so proud of you, sis. What are you-- What the fuck is wrong with you? God damn it! Shit! Sorry I'm late. Traffic. Ready to go? ♫ The city street is hot ♫ ♫ The heat has escalated ♫ ♫ Every corner in the town ♫ ♫ There's a paycheck ♫ Patty: God damn it. ♫ Well, they pretend they like you ♫ ♫ But man's best friend will bite you ♫ ♫ Just for fun ♫ ♫ If they're gunning for you, boy ♫ ♫ You've already won ♫ All right. This matter is now in session. The Honorable Rosten Keller presiding. Oh, here we go. The Estate of Ryan Larson, et al, versus Borns Technology. Parties are present, Your Honor. Be seated. Ahem. This matter is here for a status hearing. I'm looking at the file, but I see very little progress. I don't like that. Well, Your Honor, we've been conducting depositions - and taking testimony-- - No. They've been doing depositions. In fact, from where I sit, you've done next to nothing since we last convened other than show up at my house uninvited. Your Honor, it would take two years to go through all the discovery they dumped on us, Plus, I'm dealing with this police matter right now. It is not my concern. My concern is this case. You're not getting two years to try this case. I'm not asking for that, Your Honor. Listen, this case either moves forward, or it stops. It's time to either put up or shut up, counsel. What's it going to be? Did you hear me, sir? Yes, sir, I heard you. Put up or shut up. The plaintiff chooses put up. - I beg your pardon? - [click] We call ready for trial. [whisper] What are you doing? [whispering] We're not ready for trial, Your Honor. Why not? You've got about a million lawyers working on this. - [scoff] - I call ready for trial. This is a dangerous game you're playing, Mr. McBride. You haven't gone through the discoveries. You haven't deposed their witnesses. Well, I have a pretty good idea what they're gonna all say. Judge: Do I understand this correctly? You're ready to proceed to trial now, today. Yes, sir, that's correct. - Miss Senate? - This is ridiculous. If he says he's ready for trial, the court takes him at his word. Callie: This is a stunt. Leonard: Your Honor, he is alleging negligence, which necessitates more discovery with respect to duty of care. This will take time. Okay, let's forget negligence. We'll just go with wrongful act and fraud. Excuse me? You're willing to waive the claims of negligence against Borns Tech? That's correct. That's your strongest cause of action. You open yourself up to malpractice. Well, instead of going with an innocent mistake, we're going to go with a conspiracy. You're willing to waive the negligence claim? I just did waive it. They say he killed himself. We say he didn't. We say Borns Tech had him working on an illegal weapon that blew him up. It's very simple. Your Honor, could I have a moment to, uh-- - Please. - ...speak with my... people? Okay, thoughts? Nope, I don't like it. What are you talking about? There is no evidence of any intentional acts or of a cover-up. If he's willing to go with wrongful acts and fraud, we win. Mm-mm. - Ahem. - Counsel? Your Honor, we call ready for trial. [ click] Well, isn't this interesting? Call down the voir dire panel. We're gonna pick us a jury. What I don't understand is how you don't warn me. Well, you haven't been listening to me. I wasn't sure I was going to do it when we went in. I had to see if they were ready. We're not ready! - We're not ready. - They're not, either. If they were ready, they would have brought a whole crew and a bunch of video equipment, a bunch more files, all kind of shit. So you in no way feel that this is rushed. We have no choice. I mean, I could get arrested any time. - Oh, stop. - Or maybe killed. Jesus Christ. Time's not exactly on our side here. Tomorrow? Hmm. The partners aren't happy, Donald. I wouldn't call it exactly a revolt, but there's definite rumbling-- mostly about the Borns Tech case and your relationship with Lucy. That's over, and the partners' doubts will pass. Well-- if... we win the Borns case, maybe. Or what? They'll replace me? I'd like to meet the man they have in mind. Or the woman. Listen. Please listen to me, Donald. People are concerned. You have been a rock-- stable, rational. This case has tripped a wire somewhere. Ahem. Oh, my God. You are more like Billy than you realize. You both need someone to fight and to hate and to destroy. You can't just be. I loved Billy. I truly did. Once. We were quite a team. You couldn't stand him, Donald. Eventually no, but in the beginning I loved him. - Until you didn't. - Until I didn't because he was weak, because he drank, because he never really stood for anything. That's what you do. People fall, and you just let them keep falling. Oh, come on. Are you going to help Lucy? I know that you care about her. She just might be the one thing to make you happy. She made me happy. But she was weak. Ahem. Lawyers are reminded-- opening statements are not arguments. They're road maps to let the juries know what evidence they can expect to hear. Plaintiff has the burden of proof and delivers the first opening statement. Billy: Cool. Um... okay, let's do this. How are you guys doing? Sorry. I had a little bit of a kitchen accident. I was trying to get an avocado pit out, and I did the stab method instead of the chop. - Took off like half my-- - Ahem! ...but I'm good to go. I know. I'm here. I'm here, you're here. Let's do this, right? So I am Patty Solis-Papagian. I represent Jason Larson. So two years ago, Ryan Larson, father of Jason, employee of Borns Tech, blew up on a boat owned by the defendant. What was he doing on the boat? Well, he was dumping explosives into the ocean. Completely illegal. Now, what were these explosives that he was dumping? Well, they were parts of an illegal weapon that was being made by Borns Tech. Get this: we have video of the explosion. Not only do we have video, we have the blueprints and the model of the weapon. We found them buried in his backyard. Guy had them buried in his backyard. At the end of the day, Borns Tech is no good. - [clicking] - They're just no good because they do dangerous things with hazardous materials, and they don't care who it affects. They could care less. And this is a trend that happens with big corporations all the time. Your Honor? Ford with the Pinto, Big Tobacco, NFL with the-- Those cases have nothing to do with this case. The jury will disregard. Please disregard it. Please disregard it because that's exactly what they do to people like you and me. We are disregarded because, unless we make them money, - unless you're putting cash in their pocket-- - Objection. - Ms. Papagian-- - ...no value to them at all. Sustained. Uh, really, one more time, and you're done. All right. Well, I am done. Here's the thing. They're going to tell you that Ryan Larson was suicidal. Absolutely a lie. In no way was Ryan Larson suicidal. Thank you for your time. Hi. That was interesting. It's very impassioned. The evidence will show that Ryan Larson left a suicide note. Look, Borns Tech is in the business of protecting America from terrorism. That's what we do. Let me take this opportunity to introduce you to Leonard Letts, my co-counsel, and Lucy Kittridge. Lucy's brother died in the war effort. He went overseas, and he lost his life to enemy fire protecting this country and all the principles that we hold dear. Lucy's brother-- - Objection. - ...wasn't a war profiteer. [whispering] He was a patriot. And so is Borns Tech. Look, we know that having a deep pocket means that sometimes you get subjected to extortion. It happens. But for them to saddle up a child-- the child of a suicide victim-- Where does it stop? Well, at the end of this case, I hope it stops there. You can go... prop. Ryan never talked about what he was working on, but I knew it made him very unhappy. He was very stressed. Now, did he ever talk about killing himself? No. Never. After he died, that's what Borns Tech told me happened, and I believed them. Why did you believe them? Shock, anger. I wasn't thinking clearly. It was easier to blame Ryan somehow, - and I regret that. - Right. You weren't thinking clearly. Hmm. But clearly well enough to take an enormous settlement from Borns Tech. I had my son to consider. You told us that Ryan was unhappy and stressed. At work. Not at home. I mean, everything okay with you two at home. Yes. Pretty much. Was he unhappy or stressed about anything between the two of you? No. It's your last chance to come clean. I had an affair. And how did that make him feel? Sad, maybe? The reason they're so powerful is because they got the resources, you know? They got investigators and a shit load of money, 200 or 300 little creeps running around there that can search the internet or research whatever they need, you know. Big operation. They got everything on everybody. - Well-- - Sorry I'm late. Didn't you even know I was late? We started the trial. - I'm sorry-- - I know. I was there for some of it. It's not going so good for your team. I don't know where this came from or what it means, so don't ask. That right there is the last favor I do for you. Hi. How's it going? Oh, no. What happened to your hand? Please go away. - No? - Mm-mm. - Okay. - Okay. Um... what? Oh. We got a couple of creeps, too. Right. Okay. So... these are Stoltz' military records from the Marines. Defense contractors hire ex-military. We may be able to connect him to Borns Tech that way. Yeah, but Stoltz was never mentioned in any of the Borns Tech files. Oh. We haven't gone through all of them yet. Besides, that's not going to be there. [cough] They'd never admit that he's theirs. What is this? That's part of a Borns Tech cluster bomb that just wiped out all those people you saw in the other images, all those women, children, civilians. Okay, we move to suppress this. Yeah, no shit. I'm sure you do. Our witness, who happens to be their ex-employee, will testify that this is the finished product of the model that we found buried in Ryan's backyard. Now, they're saying that they don't make cluster bombs, and this proves that they're lying. Ms. Senate? Obviously, these images are irrelevant. There are no markings that identify it as a Borns Tech product. There's no reason to think that our client had anything to do with making or selling that. Our witness will testify that this was built to Borns Tech blueprints and of the Borns Tech model. Okay, this is trial by surprise bullshit, Your Honor. We don't know what that is - or where it came from-- - Your Honor. ...even if it's real. You sure it didn't look familiar to you, Leonard? Its probative value is substantially outweighed by their prejudicial impact on the jury, and we've had no time to review them. The images are disallowed. - Oh, come on. - Why? Are you kidding me? It lacks foundation and is unduly prejudicial. The images are disallowed. Judge, are you going to let me put on a case here or not? Mr. McBride-- Mr. McBride, call your next witness or rest. Based on your professional knowledge and experience, what do you think happened to Ryan Larson? Based on the size of the explosion taken from the video by the fishermen, it was caused by a large amount of the napalm-based fuel and something else, too: munitions. What do you mean? Do you mean bombs? We don't like to use the term "bombs," but yes, bombs. Did Ryan Larson ever work on cluster bombs? - Officially? - Mm-hmm. Nobody worked on cluster bombs at Borns Tech. Officially, we didn't make them. They're banned, indiscriminate devices that killed way too many civilian women and kids. So earlier, Gina Larson testified that this was found buried in her backyard. Can you tell us what this is? Well, that right there is a model of a banned weapon using illegal fuel and cluster bombs which Borns Tech developed. Okay. And with this model we found these guys. Can you tell us what these are? Those are blueprints for what appears to be a cluster bomb system. Thank you. Nothing further. - Thank you. - Mr. Berring, you were fired from Borns Tech because of mental health issues relating to fantasy and occasionally hearing voices. Okay, but that-- that's-- it's-- Yes, amongst other things. Including anger. Anger's a big one for you, isn't it? You sought revenge against an ex-girlfriend for breaking up with you by posting a video of the two of you having sex on the internet without her consent. - Isn't that true? - Yes, it's-- it's correct, but I- - I'm deeply...ashamed. So you get angry, and you take revenge. That's what you do. You did it to a woman that you loved, and now you're doing it to the company that fired you. - That's not a question. - No. Here's the question. Yes or no, the model on the blueprints that you were just talking about, did any of them have the Borns Tech name or any identifying markings on them? Not that I know of, no. They could have been made by anybody. I mean, for all we know, they could be Ryan Larson's design. I mean, yes, but that-- that wouldn't be feasible. Yes. I suppose so. Nothing further. [street noises] [footsteps] Hi. I went by your office. I saw your stuff was still there, so I figured you might have come up here. Clever of me. Here. It's liberating to do the wrong thing sometimes. Most of the time. What generation of feminism are we up to now? Fifth wave? Or sixth? I don't- - I've lost count. I do know that it is still... really hard. It takes grit, resolve. When I look at you, Lucy, I see how smart you are and how hard you work. I see how much you want it. But you don't have it. You don't even begin to have it, and you never, ever will. [feet shuffling] He sent me to tell you you're fired. Well, not fired. If anyone asks, we'll say you left of your own accord. We wish you well. Why do you hate me so much? I don't hate you, Lucy. After tonight, I won't even remember you were here. [sobbing] Uh, there were two big booms. Um, that's the second one. - You can see the fire. - Mm-hmm. All the burning plastic coming down. Uh, then came the wave. The wave that sank your boat. Yeah. Now, after the first time we spoke, what happened? This guy came to us-- uh, Karl Stoltz-- and he said that there was a shipment-- - Objection. Hearsay. - Sustained. The jury will disregard. Why are you dressed like that, Gabriel? Uh, after we first talked to you about the boat, this guy Stoltz showed up to set us up on a drug deal. - Your Honor. - He framed us. Why would he do that? - Objection. Speculation. - Sustained. Mr. McBride, do you have any other questions for the witness? Yes, sir. I have plenty more-- about Karl Stoltz, but you won't let me ask them. That line of questioning has been shut down. Please move on, sir. Gabriel... um... Well, Your Honor, I'm a little stuck here. Ms. Senate. You have no idea what made that boat blow up, do you, Mr. Marquez? Not really. Thank you. Officer, Mr. Marquez is done. Mr. McBride, call your next witness. Mr. McBride. Mr. McBride! I- - Do you have another witness? Yes, your Honor. The plaintiff would like to call Wendell Corey to the stand. He's not on the witness list. He's not even here. He doesn't have to be on the list. He's a party to the action. Mr. Corey has no information about what transpired on that boat. Oh, that's great. Let him testify to that. Your Honor, this is unfair surprise. We have the right to call him. If you disagree, I'll file an emergency appeal. We'll drag this thing out forever. We can talk about it all day if you want. Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Get Mr. Corey in here. Your Honor... we respectfully ask for time to consider filing a motion to preclude this testimony. I respectfully deny your request. Get Mr. Corey in here. Now! So I got to put my ass in the hot seat now? - He has nothing. - [click] Really? You sure of that, huh, Donald? I am. What if he does have something? - [click] - Huh? You know what I suggest? I'd suggest we give these fuckers $10 million and get this over with now. Try not to be stupid, Wendell. Lord knows you're capable of it. And don't go weak on me after all I've done for you. [scoff] Donald-- After all you've done for me. - [clicking] - You condescending asshole. How about the nearly billion dollars in fees we've paid you over the years? When you illegally tested and developed items to get a jump on the market, I protected you from clear and massive violations of Federal rules and regulations! You know what? Whatever you did, you got paid for it, didn't you? - [click] - We made mistakes. Okay? But I'll tell you what we didn't do. We didn't kill anyone. How about you, Donald? Did you kill anyone? No. - Don't tell me-- - Hey. - You fucking asshole. - Wendell. You know what? What was his name? But, with her consent, Captain Dreyfuss, so if you don't mind, I won't give you his name. I don't believe he meant any harm, and my daughter said he was sweet and chivalrous. I don't want him punished any more than he has been. Has been? Er, Michael was very upset. He let the young man know forcefully. - Forcefully? Were there blows? - Almost. No father finds it easy to cope with the idea that his daughter is the object of, er, let's say, desire, Captain Dreyfuss. Do you have children of your own? No. I am, er, I'm not married. I should go. Our notes on Moybeg can wait until another time, given how you must feel right now. I will take this further if you wish. - It's over, as far as I'm concerned. - Are you sure, Mrs. Coyne? Yes, Captain Dreyfuss, I'm sure. Oh, excuse me. You didn't come back. The shore, The Far Rock. I walk there every day. That's how I know, but... you must feel free to walk there. The lough, this place, it's for everyone. You have a young fella out there, Michael, you might want to... You're not welcome here. Surely to God you know that. I just got posted, sir, all right? I'm due to depart for England real soon. I just wanted one last drink with my pal here. Michael, let him in. The lad's off to do his duty. Go on. One! Noches! Hey, Noches! Give me a hand to redd up, will you, Barney? Noches! He went home a while ago. - Mr. Coyne. - Lieutenant. I'm, er, you know, I'm, er, I'm really sorry for what happened, sir. I-I didn't mean any harm. Go home while you're still ahead, son. Good luck to you. Noches! Emma. SHOUTS: Emma! DOG BARKS Emma! Whoa! No! No! Mr. Coyne! Mr. Coyne! No! No! No! DISTANT SCUFFLE Emma? SCUFFLE CONTINUES DISTANT ANGRY VOICES Mum! Mum! The pilot, Lieutenant Barnhill. OK. Catch your breath. They're hitting him in the byre. Ned and Mickey Joe and all those bullies. They're hurting him! Daddy! Barney, did you know about this? I did not, Mr. Coyne. I swear. Emma. Stay here. Barney, come with me. Boys! - Leave him alone. - You stay out of this, Michael Coyne! We're doing the job for you. Maybe now the Yanks will leave our women alone. Get away from him. Michael doesn't keep that gun loaded, Mrs. Coyne. He told me often enough. Do you want to test that theory, Michael Hanlon? Rose. Get away from him! Cowards! HE COUGHS Mr. Coyne, in light of what just happened, the Commanding Officer has placed your bar out of bounds for a period of two months. Two months? He wanted to put it out of bounds, period. - I had to argue very hard. - Thank you. Do you mind? The Commanding Officer also wanted me to ask if Lieutenant Barnhill gave a good account of himself? - He did. - Good. Good. We expect our fellows to give as good as they get, and apparently Lieutenant Barnhill is the current Kentucky golden gloves champion. That said, I want to say thank you for stepping in to save him. Now, Mrs. Coyne, I think it's more important than ever that we try to understand how to avoid things like last night. I would very much appreciate the benefit of your local knowledge. Rose is about as local as Winston Churchill. But you're right. She does seem to be able to make better sense of things in this parish than I do. I have to go, Captain. Thank you for calling. Lieutenant Barnhill received his posting. He leaves in a few days. He was the airman who took your daughter to the movies, right? Gosh, yes. How did you know? I figured. The fight. I thought there might be a connection. Perhaps retribution by the men of the parish, so I asked him. Men? Four to one. He asked me to give you this to pass on to Emma if you felt it was... Appropriate. I have read it. I find I am camp censor, for my sins. It is a simple, rather sweet goodbye. - I don't want to. - Read it? Read it or give it. What if he is killed in action? She is too young to know that a young man went to his death thinking of her. You may tell him I took it, but I reserve the right not to pass it on to her. It would cast a shadow over her life. I understand. Mrs. Coyne. You knew. What? What was being planned. I didn't. I swear. Barney did. Maybe. What did you want him to do? The Yankees will move on. Barney has to live here. With that sly deal with the devil that everybody in this parish seems to have struck. (Bloody Moybeg.) It's life, Rose. We're lucky to be able to hold on to it. Sometimes you have to use a long spoon to dine with the devil. Especially when you're dining on corned beef. Uh? Nothing. Are you sorry? About what? I don't know. About the trouble you caused? It wasn't my fault. - You went to the pictures. - "You went to the pictures". Neh! It didn't mean they had to gang up on him, the Hanlons and all, and shut up about it. Do you think they would have killed him if Mum hadn't have... PLANES ROAR OVERHEAD Battle Fatigue! Barnhill. Brave, decent Barnhill didn't long survive his rescue by my mother. A swarm of Focke Wulf 190s set on him over Dusseldorf, one moonlit night in 1944, and though he fought a long-running battle towards the Channel, he never made it. He is buried among the small farmyards, the barns and byres of St Joseph, close to Wormhout in Belgium. I often wonder what my father knew about that night. Did he decide to let Barnhill get what was coming to him for his cheek? I hope not, but my father was a Moybeg man. Its darkness may have lain somewhere deep in his DNA. My mother, on the other hand, resisted what she called the sly ways of the place with a fiery, feral determination. She dwelt in Moybeg, but she didn't live there. And it seems she never gave Barnhill's letter to Emma. Perhaps she felt that a note from beyond the grave was just too much for my sister to bear even as a grown woman. What's this? What do you think it is? Stolen goods. - Mrs. Coyne. - Rose, please. Men are a deal more likely to do favours for a woman than for a man. Did you want me to flirt? My name is Andrew Black. I'm the doctor's son. He is REALLY nice. Bailiffs! What are you doing? They've got the flag up. Well, they may put it down again. Blirts! Jail for our friend. I have to tell the truth, Seamie! You said that. OK. You guys, he's being very annoying. Uh, Shel, would you ever have sex with me and then lie to me immediately afterwards? Oh, no, sweetie. I get all my lying done beforehand. I mean there's still a few girls in Detroit who think they had sex with Cleveland from "Family Guy." Okay. I want Danny to spend time with my son. He promised that he would and now he's trying to pull out. Guys pulling out, that's how I ended up with a kid in the first place. All right, fine. I'll do it. But it's not fair. You asked me in the middle of sex. I was like: "Uh, uh, uh, uh... fine, I'll take him to Dave Buster's." Okay guys, quick announcement. It's a new year and I wanted to spice things up a little bit, so I decided to dye my hair red and then I chickened out. Thank God. Because red hair is the worst. However, I did convince Candace to do it. Yeah! I love it. No. I love it. It's so good. It's like a... like a nice warm bowl of tomato soup. If I had a grilled cheese, I would just dunk it on your head. No I love it. Like your whole head's on fire. I love you, fire-head. Yeah. All right, Brett, I'm going to kill you. - What do you have against red hair? - I love redheads. When you sleep with them, it's like putting a fire out with your penis. Just look. The first time my dad cheated on my mom he was - dressed as Ronald McDonald. - What? It was a Halloween party at our house. And I walked in on him and our neighbour, Mrs. Hector. She was a rough-looking woman. Bus driver hair, gap tooth, cigarette. Voice that could match a Muppet. Anyway, do you want to know what was in my happy meal? You want to know what prize I grew up with? Being raised by a single mom. You know what? I don't need red hair today. I don't need that - distraction, please. - Hey man, why are you freaking out? I'm not freaking out This isn't freaking out. I'm being normal. I just need everything to be perfect so I can surprise Candace. - Ooh. Surprise me how? - What the hell. Sweetie, remember when we, uh, first met? Remember that song that was playing? - Yeah, of course. - ♪ You are my fire ♪ ♪ my one desire believe ♪ ♪ when I say I want it that way ♪ - ♪ tell me why ♪ - ♪ ain't nothing but a heartache ♪ - ♪ tell me why ♪ - ♪ ain't nothing but a mistake ♪ - ♪ tell me why ♪ - ♪ I never wanna hear you say ♪ - ♪ I want it that way ♪ - ♪ 'cause I want it that way ♪ That's so awesome! What are the Backstreet Boys doing here? We're in Detroit doing a fundraiser. Oh, really? - For who? - Us. Good one, dangerous one in the Backstreet Boys. Hey. I could not believe you guys are here. When I was a kid, I humped all of your posters. Wow, really? Which one of us was your favourite? OK. OK. Don't make a fool of yourself. - Hey. - These are my friends! Anyway. Yeah, good one. Almost beard to beard. Nice. No. Justin actually wrote us a letter asking for a simple favor. So... - Yeah, you're on, buddy. - Don't blow it, dude. I won't. Are all the Backstreet boys taking a poo together? Uh, Candace I, I believe that when you meet the person that you're supposed to of your life with, you shouldn't wait around. You should just know it and go for it. So with that said... Holy crap balls! - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - I love you. You're the most beautiful person I've ever met. Even with ridiculous red hair. - Candace, will you marry me? - Yes. _ So you know how my mom calls us Jay-Z and and Beyoncé because I've got the great moves and now that I'm engaged I can do this. - You do the all the sick rap rhymes. - All the time. I love rhyme. Is that a crime? Every time I climb a Mountain you make me cry. But it doesn't matter because I pull off some lines and make you cry because I love you so much. M'mm. You're mine. Baby, sell the bar. Let's take it on the road. Anyway, so now that we're engaged, she's calling us Jay-Z and Fiancé. - Not really that funny, is it? - No ♪ Danny's back ♪ ♪ all right hey ♪ Danny? Why do you have a child on your head? Good, he's still there. This is Will, Charlotte's kid. Oh. Hey, big guy. Yeah. He doesn't really talk that much. It's made bonding awesome. So what does he like? Well, I kind of just gathered that so far he likes sitting on people's shoulders and sneezing on the top of my head, so... Okay. Well, um, I'm gonna go. Will, it was really nice to meet you. Can I get a high-five? - No? OK. - All right. Anyway, should we go show off to all of Detroit? My ring says yes. Yoohoo! Dude, I can't believe you didn't tell me about proposing. Give me a break. I didn't tell anyone. Well, you told Backstreet Boys You didn't tell me and I'm your emotional guidance counsellor. You know it's like I'm your sensei. I don't speak Japanese and neither do you. Anyway, see this is the kind of thing we need to cherish. Okay? Our banter. Our back and forth. It's awesome. We've got to love this while we can because you're engaged and we may only be be living together another 7, 8, 9, 10 years. - Who's engaged for 11 years? - Turtles. OK. I didn't... I didn't know 7-year-olds can improv like that. Actually, since Candace has her house we thought it might be romantic if I moved - in on Valentine's day. - Valentine's day? That's in two weeks. Give me the sandwich, Will. Hold my beer. I need to talk like an old Italian lady. What are you talking about? Is there something you're not telling me? Are you pregnant? Did Candace put a baby in you? I know you're joking but I would happily carry that baby. Morning sickness, stretch marks. I want it all. There's a point. I think it's a little weird Especially you. Look, I get it. You feel like I'm breaking up the best on-screen duo since "Will Grace." I just want to make sure you're not bummed out. I'm not bummed. I'm totally cool. Hey, whose Twitter handle is cool Danny? Hm? Not mine. Not mine. You know why? I'm too cool for that. Ah. That sucks. Danny. Yes, my sweet little Will? Don't be a bitch. Oh. I can't wait to dance at your wedding. You know, when I was younger, I almost got engaged but her brother talked me out of it Really? What did he say? He said, "Brett, you have a beautiful penis" and... Dip. Woo! OK, guys. Help me out. What should I do for my wedding? I don't know where to begin. Charlotte, what did you do for your wedding? Was it like a fairy tale? My wedding was exactly like a fairy tale. Um, once upon a time there was a princess with low self esteem... And terrible taste in men. She went to Las Vegas and ate some magic beans. Then she married an evil ogre named Mark. Mark put a baby in her, and ruined her credit. 12 weeks later a wizard named Jeff, the divorce attorney, annulled her mistake. The end. OK. Um, I'm surprised. But just so you guys know you're all going to be in my wedding party. Except for you, Charlotte. - I'm sorry. I just met you. - Oh, you know, that's fine. I'll just uh, I'll come to the next one. Oh, hey Bursk, Les, I'm assuming you guys want to be each other's plus ones because - you know, smooch buddies. - No, no, stop. No cute winks. Come on, you guys. We went on one date. I know how much you guys like to gossip about everything but we don't want to talk about this at all. As far as you're concerned we're not even dating. - Okay, is that how you feel, Bursk? - I was instructed to feel that way. This day is so perfect. I mean yeah, sometimes I do think about a different ring Oh, because the diamond Justin's got you is so tiny and ridiculous? - No, I love it. - Oh, yeah. Me too! It's so perfect! No. It's just because I kind of wish I had my grandmother's ring. What happened to it? My boyfriend Trent, he pawned it to buy protein powder. I loved my grandma. It's really all that I had left of her... Oh, I know what this is. You're trying to manipulate me to try to go get that ring back by using your sad face. But I'm sorry, sweetie. It's not gonna work on me. I'm not buying it. No! We're gonna get you that ring back! Danny is such a jerk. From now on nobody named Danny allowed in this bar. My name is Danny. Oh. I'm sorry, man. I was talking about my room-mate. Get the hell out of here Danny! You drunk! *** *** - What's wrong with him? - Oh, Danny was so mean to him this morning. I can still totally picture it. So it all started when Justin, he woke up. He was in a great mood. He was like, man, I love being in love, man. I just love it. Makes me wanna do the moonwalk. I could do the moonwalk. I could get jiggy with it. I could... I could spin. I could jump. I could dance for days and days but I'm not. I'm just gonna stand completely still. Completely still. Still like a stone. Like a stone. And then... and then Danny, We pan over to Danny and Danny was all like grrr. I think love is stupid. Getting married. Getting married, "pfft". That's all like a dumb mistake. I would never do that. And I get to be mean to you for just no reason because I'm a big baby. I'm a big baby. My hair's too long to be a baby but I act like a baby anyways. You know babies go waa, waa, waa. Look at me. I think I'm so cool even though I'm just a big jerk. Yeah. And you know what that big jerk is. Such a jerk He went over and he slapped Justin in the face. You know what Justin did? Justin spit on him. And Danny, he was so mean, he was like "Hey Justin. You give me your sweater" You, you give me your sweater and... and I'm gonna do a high kick. I'm gonna do another high kick. High kick, high kick, high kick And that was it. Yeah. Maybe I embellished a little bit but I feel like you guys got the gist. Unbelievable. Move Unbelievable. Why is Danny being so mean? Why can't you see what's going on? Don't you remember the first time you met? Of course I do. It was right there in that office. Oh, I remember it like it was yesterday. - ♪ That's all I really want ♪ - _ ♪ some fun uh-uh-un ♪ ♪ don't you love me baby ♪ ♪ oh, girls ♪ ♪ they want to have fu-un ♪ ♪ Oh girls they wanna... ♪ - Justin? - I didn't see you come in. - Yes. You must be Danny. - Killer pipes, man. Thank you. Yes. I went through a choral camp every summer as a kid and I was the first male Annie. We are a real odd couple, you and me. I bet that we're just gonna end up arguing and apologizing to each other over and over again every week. In my flashbacks, I let the boys speak for themselves. Yep. Feels like it was just yesterday. What a crazy, crazy wild time. We became room-mates after that, but you know the story. What does that have to do with anything? The reason he needed a new room-mate is because his old room-mate got married and left, and they were never really friends ever again. Yeah. And now it's happening to Danny all over. Oh, okay... You're a mess. The poor guy, he feels abandoned, dude. Well, I guess I have to make this... I'm sorry. I guess I... You know what? Enough monkeying around. I gotta make this right. Good luck kiss. Now you get out there and you git him, soldier! Of course Trent works here. Candace used to see all this for free. Now people gotta pay me a buck for it. Bam! Capitalism. I never thought I'd say this but, I hate strip clubs now. Hey, Trent, quit twerking. Don't look at me while you're twerking! - Don't look me in the eyes while you're twerking! - He's looking at me! Tell me where you pawned Candace's ring please? Oh the ring. News flash. I never pawned it. - You turned it into a tongue stud? - Oh, my God, it's perfect! All right. You're gonna give that diamond back OK. As Matthew McConaughey would never say, all wrong, all wrong, all wrong. Trent says no. Trent smells so good. OK, OK. I got this. I got this. Come on. You heard the lady. - The diamond belongs to Candace. - What are you gonna do about it guv'ner? Well, I think that speaks for itself. Sorry, guys. You're never getting this back. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go show my capitalism. Capitalism's what I call my dong now. Hey, Trent. You're on the main stage in five minutes. Watch out. Watch out! Statue of David coming through. Good God. Look at that body. - Kevin? - What do you got here? A gay guy, a woman and a black guy? What do you call your group? "Republican's nightmare?" Kevin. Drug dealing Nemesis. I had to go and, I don't know, turn my life around. Oh, you ruined the thong song for me, too! You guys can look but unfortunately I'm the only one who's allowed to touch. I'm joking. There's an alley out back where anything goes. Nobody's interested? You guys can take the dollar bills back out. - Where's Leslie? - Leslie is at a strip club looking at hot naked men who are not you. Why? Women are complicated, man. Oh, my. There he is. There's my B.F.F., my big dog. OK. Look, all right. I get it, all right? You're sad and you know that I'm moving out. But I want to you know I'm not moving out of here, all right? For God's sakes. We're J-ball and D-tell. There's always going to be a little J in you and a lot of "D" in me. Well, we did it. That's the worst conversation of all time. Don't worry about it, man. I'm not even bummed out that you're moving out. That's OK That's so weird because your pants are on fire but you're a liar, liar. I spent all day dividing up our stuff. Most of it was pretty obvious. - All the make-up was... - It's sunscreen! Alright? Don't piss me off. Look. Just admit that you're sad. Why don't you get off my butt? What am I, Kanye West? I don't know what that means but let me ask you a question. Two weeks from now when you walk into that empty room and I'm not there, what are you gonna do? I'm probably gonna be doing a lot of this. Because that's where I'm going to put my new Nordic Track. OK. We need to stop them from fighting. Yeah for sure. I agree. Why don't you just call me when you have that figured out. - Wait. I don't have your phone number. - I know. I don't have anyone's number. Get off your Nordic Track and talk to me. - What is that? - Workout towel. If you're going to be like this, maybe I should move out now. You know what? Maybe you should. Maybe I will - Good. - Great. - Awesome! - Super - Superb! - Marvellous. - Stupendous - Rosie. - Awesome - Spectacular - Keebler elf. - Yippee! Bellissimo. This is actually good when they don't say anything. It means they forgot what they were fighting about. - Moving out! - Oh yeah! I'm moving out. Ha-ha. - No, I'm moving out. - Yeah, you're moving out and I don't care. - That's really how you feel? - Uh-huh. You know what? I'll be gone by the morning. I hope you're happy. No, no, nah nah. I don't get to do a door slam on me. I do a door slam on you. This is my bar! That means I get the last - friggin' door slam. - Oh, yeah? What about this? ! - What about this? ! - Ha-ha! Oh, yeah? Yeah! - Moving out. - Oh, yeah. Aha! So, Trent wouldn't give the ring back? Tell me how that went down. It was dimly lit. Through the darkness I saw an Adonis. He looked at me, I looked at him. The nipple went in my mouth. I loved it. I can still picture it now. Brett, are you OK? Are we not doing flashbacks any more? Anyway, I'm not giving up. We're going to get that diamond back. How do you get at diamond out of a guy's mouth? How stupid can the guy be? Let's just think. For a year I was Trent oregano dealer. So you're telling me that you want me to go flirt with Trent, rub up against his body... take my hands and stroke them down his five, six, seven, eight abs. - No. - I'm not finished yet! And then I'm going to grope his perfect ass. I'm going to make out with him. him and steal his diamond back with my tongue. Look, I'll do it. I won't like it... but I'm gonna love it! For real, I'm tired of pretending that we're not together. Listen, I know you said that we only went on one date together but we've been on a lot of dates together. We spent the night at a bed and breakfast in Lake Michigan and no, I didn't tell any of our friends about it because you promised me not to but I guess they knew why anyway. Know why that is? Because you actually did tell them? Yeah. He took pictures of you sleeping. Completely shaved, huh? I liked it. You know what? I'm not apologizing for it. I'm glad that us is a thing because honestly I've been waiting for us to happen for like three years now. And if you're embarrassed to be with me that's fine. I could deal with that. Uh... wait. Were you gonna kiss... OK. OK. Yeah, mm-hmm. So we're good, yeah? - I'm in. - All right. Come here. All right. I'll allow this but if you start making strain noises, - we're breaking up. - We should go. - I'm sure she's fine. - She should just move on. She falls all the time. What do I care? What we need to be concerned about is getting that diamond back. We need someone to kiss Trent. - Can you do it? For Candace? - Oh no... I'm not into that kind of thing. - Yep, that's Trent - I'll do it. I don't like seeing you all torn up like this. You know what? You know what we could do to cheer you up? Let's do that thing where we pretend to be an old couple that's been married for 50 years. Come on. I'm coming for you, stud-muffin. Hot wheels. Almost there. Sweetie... This usually gets me going. My heart's just not in it. Guys. The fight with Danny is killing him. I know. Danny's been moping around all day. Oh, please. Come on, they're grown men. Not like they're moping around the streets like some Backstreet Boys video from the '90s. Let's do this, you oily donkey. You're not wearing your diamond stud. No. I just wear this for fun. I'm off duty, babe. - What was that? - I don't know. Work the alley by yourself. This is the alley where anything goes. OK. Charlotte said, uh, Trent has the diamond at his apartment. She wants to know if she should go sleep with him. Excuse me. What? No. - Tell her no. - Finally I got to make out with Adam. That lunatic's back only if you go before... by the way, my legs... Nobody else hear that? I'm all packed up. Going to head to the bar, Close early so we can all celebrate the engagement together. You are still welcome if you want to come. Nah. I'm good. All right. Well, if you, uh, if you change your mind, just, you know, come. - What's wrong with you? - All right. OK. Spare me the lecture. I already know what you're gonna say so I'm just going to fast forward through all the bull crap that you're about to... You should be happy for Justin he's your... Oh. I'm so disappointed in you, Danny. Good night. Let's get high and watch wrestling. To be fair, that is what I say first thing in the morning. - Danny, Justin's your best friend. - So? It's OK to be hurt that he's leaving. Don't you understand that this is all a ruse on Justin's behalf? He's not even really moving out. Look. All these boxes are empty. See? Oh. It's all of his khakis. - I guess he really is moving out. - Aw. Danny, I know how scary it can be to admit how you really feel. I mean look how long it took me to admit how I feel about Burski but now I can look you straight in the eyes and I can say "I love Burski"? You don't even realize you said that as a question. I really do? I like him. I do. OK. I like him. OK? So now it's time for you to be honest about how you feel about Justin. Let me put this in a way you'll understand. You've been an emotional grower. Now you need to be an emotional show-er. I mean Justin's your best friend. Have you ever even told him that? No, but in my defence I - have a really good reason not to. - Why is that? Because he wants me to so bad. I'm disappointed in you, Danny. Good night... Oh. You want to get high and watch wrestling? - To Candace and Justin. Cheers. - Thank you. This is the happiest day of my life. Did he say happiest day or last day? Babe, you can sulk about this whole Danny situation this whole time. Now I know that you said you want to do whatever you want to make me happy. If you want to make me happy, you go out there and you get Danny Yes, ma'am. - Guys, I'm here. Where's Justin? - You just missed him. - He went out looking for you. - Aw crap. Let me go see if I can catch him Well, look like those guys will never... - I got the text. Where's Danny? - Danny just left. - Ah. Damn it. - And wait for it. Hey, I just got your text that Justin is here. I also saw him run right past me. Which one should I trust? Yeah, I know. I love you. I have to tell you this. And I know you don't like this sappy stuff. You're going to act like you don't care. Alright you know what? Look, stop. Let me go first, OK? It's only fair. Shelly, why don't you tell him where I was while I go wash up? Oh, I'd love to. Gather around, everybody, and hear the tale. Now when I told Danny we couldn't get your ring back... he took it upon himself to go back to the strip club and get it from Trent. But when he got there, Trent and Kevin were so nervous because there was some big league stripper scouts there from the biggest area in the world. That's right, Will, Tampa. You know about this Will. I know you. I seen you at the club. Now the problem was that they didn't have a third dancer, and what happened next, oh, is gonna go down in male stripper history. Wow. Guys, if we die tonight, I just want the world to know we died doing what we love. Yeah. I don't really want the world or anyone to ever know that I was here, but. - Also why would we die? - Can I interrupt for a second? I just want to say that I love both of you guys. Trent more than I did before. OK. Well, just so you know, I hate both of you. Do you want any oil before we start? No. Please, I... that wasn't in the script. Sounds like we're ready to go. Let's get started. Ah. Three, two, one. Hit it! None of my moves are sexual. I apologize. - Wow! - Yeah, wow. That was an amazing story. Hey, Danny. You have to tell us if you got the ring back when you get back from the bathroom. Hey, yeah. OK. Just give me a few seconds. - Flashbacks are exhausting. - Hell, yeah. So look. The stripper scouts turned out that they loved us. And so did the audience. So... Anyway. OK, well. Really likes improv. - Anyway. - One summer mommy had to work for ones. OK. Well, look, I basically, since I got Trent back to Tampa, he agreed to give me this. Oh. Hey, what's that junky old piece of crap? - My grandma's wedding ring. - It's so pretty! - Thank you so much for doing that for me. - I didn't just do it for you. I did it for my best friend. Did you just call me your best friend? - Yes, I did. - I don't think I want that anymore. You need to try that. Look, I already know you're my best friend even though that pissed me off quite a bit. But I need to know if you'd be willing to be my best man. Hey. Of course. Baby bird. Let's get married, huh? Well, summer, fall but definitely not this season. Hey, buddy. *** Oh my god, you're so annoying! OK, Shelly, would you ever have sex with me and then lie to my face right after? Oh, no, sweetie... I get all my lying done beforehand. There's still some ladies in Detroit who think they slept with a chunky-eyed Isaiah Thomas. I want Danny to spend more time with my son. He made plans with him and now he's trying to pull out. And guys "pulling out" is why I have a kid in my first place. Okay, fine, I'll do it. But it's not fair. You asked me right in the middle of sex. I was like... "Ah, ah, ah... oh, okay, I'll take your son to Dave Busters. Okay, quick announcement. It's a new year and I wanted to shake things up a little bit. So I decided to dye my hair red - But then I chickened out. - Thank God, because red hair is the worst. However, I did convince Candace to do it. Yeah! Ta-da! You like it? I love it. I love it. It is beautiful. It is great. Like a bowl of tomato soup. If I had a grilled cheese, I would just dunk it on your head. It's like your whole head's on fire! Love you, fire head! Now all we have to do is fill in the gaps. I'm buying it. Down payment. Call it rent, call it what you like, but I am not leaving London. - Hmm! - Sorry. Bad night. Buckley, Parfitt, meeting now. Ministry of War Transport. Seems they've had wind of your proposed filmic scenario. Apparently, they're concerned that "the Nancy Starling's engine failure may cast morale-sapping doubt on the quality of British engineering." It was her. Bloody Ministry spy. What if it's not the engine? What if it's the propeller? It gets snarled up with flotsam, Uncle Frank goes in the water to free it, gets shot, and the girls have to finish the job under fire. - Not the girls. - Not the girls? - No. Uh, Johnnie. - Johnnie? - Is there an echo in here? - Why him? - Because he's the hero. - So? Well, how do we know he's the hero if he never does anything heroic? Well, he's called Johnnie. Are you trying to pick a fight with me, Mrs. Cole? Johnnie can't go in the water. He's injured, badly injured. A manly slash on the bicep, for Christ's sake. He's not gonna be leaking spleen through his trousers. This is Rose and Lily's story, and you won't let them do anything. - They go to Dunkirk. - And Johnnie pilots them home. They're girls. Girls don't want to be the hero. They want to have the hero. They want to be had by him. - Tom, cab. - Oh! And if that ginger viper so much as gets her nose through the office door while we're out, you're sacked. And don't think I won't know. I can smell her shaving cream on the wind. Anything else? Since you're so keen to flex your femininity, you can tidy up! I heard furniture. "Angels of the Sea. Across the Waves. Two to Dunkirk. Three to Dunkirk. Dunkirk or Bust. Busts to Dunkirk." Somewhere in the world there is a bullet with that man's name on. Why hasn't he been called up? I mean, Parfitt's too old, but Buckley-- Baker persuaded someone that Buckley was more use to the war effort with a typewriter. It won't last. He'll end up in uniform, like every other mother's son. That is, if he ever had a mother. More likely, Parfitt found him in a pub, spawning spontaneously in the sawdust. You know, a lot of men are scared we won't go back into our boxes when this is all over. It makes them belligerent. Something's changed. I tidied. What happened at the meeting? I outlined our proposed changes. They accepted them. - What's this? - Lunch. The girls can pilot the boat home, all right? They can pilot the bloody boat. They can lead the damn fleet, for all I care. But Johnnie frees the propeller. Hmm. You're late. I took the liberty of ordering. Sorry. We have guests staying, friends from Poland. Things are very bad in Europe. It's not exactly a picnic here, if you hadn't noticed. You can't find a decent waiter in SoHo since Italy joined the war. They were all rounded up as so-called enemies of the state, apart from Geppetto over there, who almost certainly is a spy. Cerberus! - Ugh! Christ, a dead sheep? - Ugh. - Not strictly ration book, but Cerberus can't live on crusts and scraps. Ugh... Sophie's going to boil it up and make him some broth. Lucky fellow. Well, perhaps your sister would like to start feeding me, too, unless, of course, you've actually found me some work. So, Baker's outline for the Dunkirk film, you read it? It rattles along rather better than one might have expected. Johnnie's escape from the steel thrust of the German war machine. The rescue of the dog was very good. Here, boy. Here. No, no. No, not you, Cerberus. Of course, it all depends on who they're planning to cast as Rose. Uncle Frank? "A shipwreck of a man"? Sammy! "Sixties. Looks older"? Senior roles are not to be sneered at, Ambrose. - Gravitas. Experience. Maturity. - Ugh. We all have a part to play in defeating Hitler. Not this part. It's a corpse role. He's dead before the end of act three. Mr. Smith. - Mmm-mmm. - Mr. Hilliard. Ambrose, you must see-- You, me, the industry, we are all at the service of the war now. The war. The war. Damn the bloody war! The war has skimmed off the cream, and we're left with the rancid curds! I'm sorry I took so long. There was a bomb crater on the Marylebone Road. Oh! No one told me there was a meeting. No, we've been rather trying to keep this under wraps for the present. It seems that there's a someone in Mr. Swain's department who knows a someone who says that the Starling sisters never got to Dunkirk. That their engine broke down before they were even out of British waters. Pity. Pity all round, really. Your first draft boded so well. - Well... - So the Starling sisters lied? What difference does it really make? For God's sake, of course it makes a difference. It's not the truth. The truth is, they stole a boat from a man who terrified them and set out to cross 50 miles of open sea into a war. - They never got there. - Because their engine failed. Now, there's a truth we won't be telling. Morale-sapping, apparently. We pick our truths. Isn't that the point? We're saying this is based on a true story. Then don't. Oh, Christ above, man, you're supposed to be the propagandist! 700 ships went to Dunkirk. 338,000 men came back. Don't say it's based on a true story. Say it's based on 100 true stories. - A thousand. - 338,000. Dunkirk, the biggest retreat in military history, or the miracle that put the fire back in all our bellies? Very well, carry on as you were. I have a car waiting. You won't regret it. Thank you, Mr. Swain. Buckley! Buckley! Sit. Sit. I don't care that you lied. I care that you lied to us. There wasn't enough money. Ellis wanted me to go back to Wales. And you what, you couldn't bear to miss the Blitz? I'm sorry. Well, at least Parfitt will be relieved. His wife, Mary, she's an invalid. He pays for a nurse in the day, but then he has to sit with her himself at night. When I told him you wanted more than Ministry wages, he was worried you'd found yourself in a similar position, what with your husband's Spanish War wound and all. Should I... Do you want me to come in tomorrow? And how would that help, losing you? Who the bloody hell else do you think's gonna be writing the slop? The work's good, Mrs. Cole. You're doing a good job. Hello, Catrin. - Hello. - Hello. Ellis? I just saw Perry and Conroy. You had friends over? I got a letter. A commission to document bomb damage in the provinces, and an exhibition in London straight after. - The National Gallery. Oh, Ellis. Will there be Sunday trains, do you think? Only I'll need to get back to London on Monday mornings. - What are you talking about? - Coming to see you. Well, you'll be with me, silly. Yes, of course. After the script is finished. Well, you can get out of that now, surely. But I don't want to get out of it. I don't want to let them down. No, of course not. Well, I leave on Monday, and I'll be back in London for the exhibition. I suppose it's not so very far off. No, it's not so very far off. And I'll come and visit as often as I can. Right, then. Veal's off. I've ordered cutlets Milanese... and semolina... pudding. You are Mr. Ambrose Hilliard? Yes. I'm Sophie Smith, Sammy's sister. Ah. His office. Last night, he was working late. It was bombed. They have asked me to identify him. I am unable. Mr. Hilliard? Mr. Hilliard? I'm afraid, my dear, someone has made a mistake. I almost did so myself. You see, Sammy Smith has two fingers missing from his left hand. I'm sorry, we try very hard to... to make a whole person. For the relatives. Oh! Is it him? Is it your friend? My agent. Yes. That's him. You can stay with us, if you like. It's very peaceful. I'm sure we can make room. Thank you. Happy New Year, Mr. Hilliard. Sammy liked the veal, I believe. Do you also recommend it? It's not veal in the pre-war sense. Oh. Um, now that Sam... Now that my brother has gone, I must find something with which to occupy myself. I have responsibilities, dependents. I have decided therefore to continue with the agency. I understand Sammy discussed with you Baker's Dunkirk film, - the role of the inebriated uncle. - No. You know, after conversations like this with my brother, I would say, "What have you got to lose by being honest, Sammy? Explain to the man he is 63, not 36. And that his brief moment of fame as Inspector Charnfort..." Charnforth! Inspector Charnforth! Please be calm, Mr. Hilliard. I am perfectly calm. What you are seeing is controlled anger tempered with icy detachment. It's one of the many subtle emotions of which a good actor is capable. Three weeks on location in Devon, followed by three in a London studio. There are currently only nine films in pre-production in British studios. None of the others holds a role for you. I hope I share some of my brother's qualities, Mr. Ambrose. I do not, however, share his sentimental attachments. I will not keep unprofitable clients on the books. Veal, twice, please. Oh, and semolina pudding? Excellent choice. Too long. Lose half. - Which half? - The half you don't need. - What's the matter? You look like you haven't slept in a month. I'm all right. I just found it easier when it was every night. At least you knew what was coming. Well, never having known the joys of married love myself-- - The bombing. - Ah. I thought perhaps too many long treks to see the husband in the provinces. Not really. It's difficult, you know? The trains. - All right, then What's that? - It's France, Uncle Frank. - Oh. - Oh! It's Hitler! - Bloody what? - Meeting now with Mr. Swain. Rot. We're about to issue this as a shooting script. - They want all of you. - Oh, no. Oh, don't worry. All that's dead and buried. No, this'll be some rear admiral in a lather because we've got the wind speed wrong for the day in question. Oh, and did I mention? It's at Whitehall. The Ministry of War. "We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he today who sheds his blood with me shall be my brother. And gentlemen in England now abed shall think themselves accursed they were not here, and hold their manhood cheap whilst any speak who fought with us upon Saint Crispin's Day." The power of the dramatic arts. Ah... America. Firmly against any military involvement in a war they see as Europe's business. I'm sure I need not tell you how many people attend the cinema every week in this country. - Thirty-- - Thirty million. And in America that figure is closer to 90. Mr. Churchill is persuaded that film, in particular your film, presents us with a unique opportunity to put our case to the American people. They fear that we are already beaten. You show that we fight on. They believe this country to be dominated by an upper-class elite. You present a vision of Britain in which ordinary working people are the heroes. But most crucially of all, your film concerns itself directly with the feminine experience, to show your American sisters that this is a war their sons and husbands and brothers should be fighting. Of course, if we want America to listen, we must give them someone to listen to, a character with whom they can really identify. - You want us to put an American in it? - Exactly so. Ideally, of course, one would cast a star with British connections, a Cary Grant or an Errol Flynn, but the war will not wait on the convenience of a Hollywood schedule. Besides, we rather think we've done one better. Carl Lundbeck. American boy, Norwegian forefathers. Before the war, he flew crop dusters on his parents' farm in Michigan. When Germany invaded Norway, Carl made his way to England to join the RAF... where he's made himself very much at home. Salmon aren't the only creatures who should stay out of Flight Lieutenant Lundbeck's way. So far he's shot down 24 German planes, for which Britain gives her gratitude. A genuine hero. An inspiration to all other Americans, and, as I believe you chaps say, - the camera loves him. - Yeah. Even more if he was in Technicolor. Color? I think we can manage that. But there weren't any Americans at Dunkirk. Pedant. Pack your bags, Mrs. Cole. You're coming to Devon. ♪ Pretty copper kettle, pretty copper kettle ♪ ♪ Bright copper kettle, bright copper kettle ♪ ♪ I've got to get a kettle I've got to get... ♪ ♪ I've got to get a kettle, I've got to get a kettle ♪ ♪ Pretty copper kettle... ♪ I'm nearly finished. No, you're completely finished. If I hear the fucking word "kettle" one more fucking time, I'm gonna find one and shove it up your arse. - Sideways. - Mm... Sorry. I think some Fuller's earth through your hair and grease. God. Fuller's earth? But I would like to make your eyebrows really unruly, you know, so that they're sticking out in different directions. - Different directions? What, you-- - And then... I'd rather have four honest words than 50 pages of bilge. - Now, you play Rose... - No, I play Rose. And I play Lily. This script is the best thing I have read in a month of Sundays. - Don't you think? - Well... - Wyndham Best. I play Johnnie. - Johnnie? - The soldier. - Ah. Or the hero, if you will. ...a documentary about the Clydeside dockers. Right. Who have we got here? Ah, Alex, mind if I join you? Documentary makers and authenticity. - The rancid curds. Buckley, just hide me, hide me. What? Uncle Frank. Mr. Hilliard. - You knew he was gonna be here. - Yes, but I didn't expect to be. - Is she all right? Avoiding Hilliard. Unfortunate experience. - Carnal? - What? No. Oh, that? Oh, I shouldn't worry about that. He's an actor. Unless you review them, have intercourse with them, or do both simultaneously, they don't remember you. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, it is my privilege to introduce you now to a young man to whom we all owe a great deal. Soon we hand him back to the RAF for a very different kind of shooting. Until then, he is our very own American. - Mr. Carl Lundbeck. - Hi. Hello. - Alex Frayle, director. Hi. Good to meet you. Wyndham Best. How do you do? I'm playing Johnnie. Carl Lundbeck, Flight Lieutenant. - Hi. - Hello. - Mr. Hilliard. - If I've got the right-- Mr. Ambrose Hilliard. Yes. Sir, I saw every Inspector Charnforth picture there ever was. Just used to go right back and watch them again. Oh! "You see, someone has made a mistake." "A simple mistake, but easy to miss." Yes! Oh! Sir, I need to wire my mom. There's our secret weapon. Now you write him in. No excuses and no bar bills. - God bless America. - God bless America. - Well, he's very handsome. - Oh, come on! So, what's an American doing in Dunkirk? No, scrub that. - What isn't he doing? - Fighting. - Yeah, so what does that make him? - A priest? - No, we need a hero. - I don't know... - Travel writer? Journalist? - A journalist. Hard-boiled, wise-cracking Yankee hack who can pilot a boat heroically. You're not pinching any more action from Rose and Lily. I'm not unpicking the entire bloody structure either. Will somebody give them a hand over there, please? All the way up. Of course, the irony is, they've given this to a bloody documentaries director. He won't want any dialogue, anyway. It will all be fishing nets and local kids playing football, you wait. What if it's not what the American does that makes him heroic, it's what he doesn't do? He falls for Rose, but he doesn't try to come between her and Johnnie. Self-sacrifice, that's noble. - Only if he stands a chance. - Maybe he does. Maybe she likes him, because he's the sort that'd let her fix the propeller. So give him a name, our journalist. Joe. Hard-boiled types only have last names. - Buckley. - Taken. And what were you before you became Cole? Catherine Pugh. - Catherine? - Catrin's the Welsh version. It was his idea. "A beautiful Welsh girl deserves a beautiful Welsh name." Where would you have drawn the line? "Cardiff Cole. Caerphilly Cole. Coalmine Cole." - Hey! Those were my chips! Right, Catherine Pugh, you're coming with me. All right. - Brannigan, Johnnie, positions. - No. Uh, no, thank you. - Let... Let me. Quiet, please. Quiet, please, everyone. Thank you. I'll give you a finger click for a sniper shot. Just a very quiet click, please. It's hard to explain to a non-actor, but I want to react to the sniper up there and not the click down here. Do you see? In fact, there's no chance of firing a real gun up there, is there? - No. - Right. Going for a take. Sound? Sound rolling. Speed. Dunkirk film, scene 17, take one. Good luck, Lieutenant Lundbeck. Action! - Here, boy. - Here. Come on, boy. Don't be a fool, Johnnie. There's a sniper out there. And he's got a friend. It's a Karabiner 98 Kurz. Best damn gun since the Win chester 73. I'm most awfully sorry. I'm afraid I've lost my line. Cut. Jesus. Twenty-three takes. We only stopped because we ran out of film stock. The War Office wanted him. The distributors wanted him. And no one thought to give him a bloody screen test? Well, can't we replace him? This film has a significant part to play in putting the national case to the American public. - He's the template. - If that lump of Yank stays, the film fails and the national case with it. He is a brave boy. Would you or I be so brave? Is Mr. Baker all right? - He lost one of his grandsons. - Oh... - Hit by a tram on shore leave. - Oh! It must make it so much worse that it wasn't for anything. - Poor Mr. Baker. - It's never for anything. Why do you think people like films? It's because stories are structure. They're a shape, a purpose, a meaning. And when things turn bad, it's still part of a plan, you know, it's... There's a point to it. Unlike life. You don't believe in much, do you? I believed this was gonna be a good picture. How did you get to do this? Writing, I mean. Parfitt. He was making comedies for Baker. I used to collect gags I heard in the street and sell them to him in the pub, penny a time. Phyl thinks that you were born in the pub. I certainly spent enough time in them as a kid. He was a soldier, my dad, in the last one. The thing about men who get sent away to war, Mrs. Cole, is that some of them don't come back at all, some come back as heroes... and some of them come back drunk, squalid bullies. I was better off out of his way. - In the pub. - Or the pictures. I liked the pictures best. Once in a while you just need to make one that's worth it, worth the hour and a half of someone's life it's gonna cost them to see it. I really thought this one would be. The bloody Yanks. It would be all right if all you had to do was look at him. We strip Lundbeck's dialogue down to essentials and use a voiceover. "I wasn't there at the beginning of the story, but it all began in a little fishing village in England." Yes, yes. Inarticulacy, authenticity. - He still can't act. - No, no, he really can't. But Hilliard can, so we get Hilliard to coach him, some sort of on-the-spot dumb show, so the Yank knows what he's meant to be doing. Gentlemen, I fear there has been some sort of misapprehension. I am an actor, a somewhat derided calling, but mine nonetheless. Perhaps because we are engaged in an imitation of life, there is a common misconception that anything living can do what we do. You have found that not to be so, for which I offer my, um, sincerest commiserations. But I am an actor. I know only my art. Of teaching, of coaching, of dumb show, of these things, I'm afraid I know nothing. I'm so sorry to disappoint. Mr. Hilliard, you're right. You're right. Everything you just said. It's about respect for the art and for the artists. And it makes me think how wrong we've been, playing Uncle Frank for laughs. Yes, he's a drunkard and a clown, but he's also all those people who gave their sons to one war and now their grandsons to another. If we served that truth, if we gave you an Uncle Frank really worth your time and your talent, I wonder if you would consider putting that same time and talent towards helping Mr. Lundbeck and the picture? Mmm. I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Catrin Cole. I'm one of the writers. Catrin, between us, we'll have them weeping in the aisles. I need to let Ellis know that I won't be there for his opening. I'll arrange a telegram. The least we can do. Time and talent was good. - Did you think of it beforehand? His exhibition only lasts two weeks. We'll have you back in London before it closes. - Damn! - Here! - Cheers. Johnnie Lumb. Kent, England. You? Brannigan. Made in America and not for export. - So what are you doing here? - Trying to get back. The propeller's snarled. If I can just cut it free... Hurry, Uncle Frank. Oh! Hey! Hey, there! Uncle Frank? I dr- - I dro- - I dr-- I dropped the knife. William... Archie... My... My boys. Boys, such an age you've been gone. Why didn't you send word you were still in France? I could- - I could have fetched you home. I could- - I could have carried you both... home. You're mustard these days, aren't you? - Night, Buckley. - Night, Mrs. Cole. - Pretty copper kettle. - Such an age since... - Bright copper kettle. - Been such an age since... Pretty copper kettle, bright copper kettle. There it is. Dunkirk. Blimey. There's so many of us. They'll never... Mrs. Cole? They'll never get us all out. Uh, where... Where is she? - Thank you. - Cut! Could someone please get Mr. Hilliard out of Dunkirk? - Find Mrs. Cole! - Train ticket. Ration card. Authorization to travel. Oh, don't be nervous. Mr. Hilliard won't notice you're gone-- It's not Hilliard. It's Ellis. He's gonna be so disappointed in me for missing the opening, for not turning up till the last minute. Nonsense. Your husband is a lucky man, Mrs. Cole. I'm sure he knows it. He's not my husband. I mean, he's not anyone else's either. It's just... - We're not actually married. I bought the ring myself in Woolworths. - I see. - In love enough to run away with him. Just too proper not to care what other people thought. - Er, behind... - Better get moving. Hilliard's looking for you. Wants to discuss the stuff you wrote for Uncle Frank's death. - What did you think? - Too long, obviously. But apart from that... His final moments, believing Brannigan and Johnnie are the sons he lost in the last war... - Well... - Hmm. "Such an age you've been gone." - Really. - Hmm. I still think we need a little more in terms of... of, um, of back-seeding. Oh, I'm... I'm awfully sorry, Mr. Hilliard, but Mrs. Cole has a train to catch. - What? - She must go. - Wha-- - It's... - It's a personal matter. - Oh. Well, will she be back tonight? - Let's get you into makeup. - Hmm. You do look handsome in your sou'wester. Really? Gin. Mr. Hilliard's going to be awfully angry. Oh, we'll blame war transport. - The old ham can make do with me. So... Positions! Positions! Everybody please be quiet for a take. Don't stand under any thousand-pounders. The director wants to speak to you. Let me guess. He's canceling my fitting for the dog costume. No, he didn't say what it was about. Tell him you couldn't find me. But- - But I have found you. No, you haven't. You are exhausted. You're leaning against the rail of the ship, the wounded Johnnie cradled-- cradled in your arms. Oh, uh, no, thank you. You look up, and you see, coming towards you across the deck, a vision of loveliness. And you say... Careful. The kid's pretty messed up. Careful. The kid's pretty messed up. He kept talking about some broad called Nancy. Kept talking about some broad called Nancy. I guess that must be you. I guess that must be you. Okay. Action. Careful. The kid's pretty messed up. Kept talking about some broad called Nancy. I guess that must be you. To which she replies... Ooh. I'm Rose. This is Nancy. The Nancy. To which you say... Rose... Do you know, if one were 20 years younger and differently inclined, one might almost be tempted. Cat- - Catrin... Catrin! Cat, don't make me run. They're always gonna be like that, aren't they? Younger, in awe of you, like I was. Oh, come on, Cat, you had a choice. You didn't choose me. I'll come back in a few days and move my things. Oh, for God's sake, the flat's yours. You're the one who pays the rent. Anyway, I'm going to Manchester tomorrow. They decided to take the exhibition on tour. It's a success, then? It's a success. I'm glad. Hmm. You know, the first time I painted you outside the steelworks... maybe I shouldn't have shown you walking away. Oh, I don't know, Ellis. Maybe you just shouldn't have made me so bloody small. Your ticket, madam. Safe journey. Next, please. - War widows. - War widows. - There you are. War widows. War widows. War widows. ♪ I'm not afraid of the dark ♪ - ♪ Are you? ♪ - ♪ Are you? ♪ - ♪ Are you? ♪ - ♪ Are you? ♪ ♪ Gee, but it's nice in the dark ♪ - ♪ With the moon ♪ - ♪ The moon ♪ - ♪ And you ♪ - ♪ And you ♪ ♪ When we go strolling in the park at night ♪ ♪ Oh, the darkness is a boon ♪ ♪ Who cares if we're without a light ♪ ♪ They can't black out the moon ♪ ♪ I see you smiling in the cigarette glow ♪ ♪ Though the picture fades... ♪ Dunkirk in the can. Done-bloody-kirk. ♪ They can't black out the moon ♪ ♪ I see you smiling in the cigarette glow ♪ ♪ Though the picture fades too soon ♪ ♪ But I see all I want to know ♪ ♪ They can't black out the moon ♪ ♪ We don't grumble ♪ ♪ We don't worry about alarms ♪ ♪ But when you stumble ♪ ♪ You stumble right into my arms ♪ Too young. - Combined age. - Too young twice over. ♪ And, like a love light in your eyes ♪ - ♪ They can't black out the moon ♪ - Drink? - Well done. - Thank you. - You're up. - Oh, no. No, no, no. Oh, shut up, Ambrose, you know you want to. All right. "Wild Mountain Thyme" in D flat major. There it is. ♪ O the summertime is coming ♪ ♪ And the trees are softly blooming ♪ ♪ And the wild mountain thyme ♪ ♪ Grows around the blooming heather ♪ ♪ Will ye go, lassie, go ♪ ♪ And we'll all go together ♪ ♪ To pull wild mountain thyme... ♪ So how was London? Quiet. No bombing since Tuesday, apparently. I meant the exhibition. Very successful. ♪ True love will not come ♪ And your artist? Likewise. So why didn't you stay? You knew I'd cover for you. I was thinking about what Mr. Hilliard said about needing to back-seed the death speech. Liar. - Sorry. ♪ ...a tower ♪ ♪ From the pure and crystal fountain ♪ Hmm. ♪ And it's there I shall rain ♪ ♪ All the flowers of the mountain ♪ ♪ Will ye go, lassie, go ♪ ♪ And we'll all go together ♪ ♪ To pull wild mountain thyme ♪ ♪ All around the blooming heather ♪ Bomber's moon. Someone'll be copping it. So... Another couple of days in Devon. London for the studio shoot. Then what? Back to Careless Talk and carrots? Don't know. Swain's talking about another feature. Air-raid wardens. There'll be slop. I don't know. - Here. I'll get you a real desk. Marry you. What? I'm already married. No, you're not. That was private. It was a private conversation. You had to buy the ring yourself in Woolworths. When times got hard, he tried to send you back to Wales, and he's disappointed in you? He's a stupid bloody fool, but he's not as much of a fool as you. He changed your name, for Christ's sake! Where's your fucking self-respect? How dare you? You have no one. You don't know. - I know you deserve better. - You? You're the better? Catrin- - I- - I-- I think- - Look, I think you're mustard. And I think... you're a drunk, squalid bully. Come and get out of the water. - Hush! You were speaking of Flight Lieutenant Lundbeck. Ah. You know he only did the film under orders. "They told me it would be good for Eagle Squadron recruitment, sir." He's desperate to get back in the air, poor boy. - Tea, sir? - Thank you. - Oh! Um... Oh, I... - Thruppence, please. Please. There. Well, as long as you receive an adequate coaching fee, I see no objection to your continuing to instruct him. - Fee? - Yes. Certainly a fee. I shall be raising the matter with Mr. Baker today. Is there anything else you wish me to discuss with him? Your dressing room is adequate? Uh... Oh, your intimate needs are being catered for? Mmm? Sammy once mentioned you do not like to share studio facilities with crew. Electricians in particular? Yes. Well, one mustn't complain. They do their best to make one comfortable. And as for the work, uh, people... People seem to be responding rather well to Uncle Frank. I look- - I look forward to your opinion. Thank you. Sometimes one simply has to be firm. Did you miss me? You left your jacket in the cabin. It smelt of you for the longest time. And then one day, I went in there and all I could smell was Uncle Frank's pipe. Only I'd understand, you know, if things have changed. And that bullet might have had my name on it. Oh, Johnnie. I wouldn't blame you. Brannigan is one in a million. And I'm not much to write home about, am I? I'm just an everyday sort of bloke. "Everyday." Every day for the rest of my life. - Good work. Bloody good show, what you've shot so far. When the film's been treated for color, it's going to look marvelous. God, the American's teeth! Can they be real? If the studio shoot goes half as well, this picture's going to be a triumph. There is, however, one area of concern... Memo, please. ...from our American distributors. I'd ask you to absorb what's said without derision, Buckley. "American picture-goers like to be knocked off their feet. Bangs, crashes, ambulances careening around corners. The same goes for romance. What you call understatement translates as a lack of oomph." The Americans feel that the ending as presently written is too subtly nuanced, - too... restrained. - Restrained? I mean, it's practically a call to arms. Their concern is more what one might crudely call the love triangle. I have to say, as far as the home front goes, we can't let it look as if she'd rather have had the American. Well, that'll be the teeth. Teeth or no teeth, what all parties need is a morally clean, romantically satisfying resolution. Well, perhaps if Mrs. Cole could carry on her good work with Hilliard on set, Buckley and I could tackle the new ending in the office. You'll enjoy the studio. Change of scene. Excellent. Excellent. Slowly forward. Two steps. - Look to the side. - Like this? No, left side to the camera, your good side, and now raising your eyes and turning as the Stuka... Please, if you don't mind... Stuka. - Johnnie is hit! Can you bring the light over here? Thank you. Could you move, please? We're trying to get big boy up there. - Sorry. - Tea. Excuse me. - Coming through. - Anyone for a cup of tea? I thought that was really rather convincing, - don't you think? - Very real. Oh, I say, are those rock cakes? Ooh! They want to know when it'll be ready. It's very much on its way. Only you keep saying that you'll be sending over the new ending, but... - It's almost ready. - Oh. Let me know when it is. - Bye, Parfitt. - Mrs. Cole. Shall we find the lady who'll do our makeup? I suppose so. It's coming over. Mind your heads. Cigarette? That's it. Okay, line it up, please. Line it up and keep it straight. That's it. I've never much seen the point in men. Still, I do hate to see you pining. Oh, I'm not pining. Ellis moved out weeks ago. I'm already used to it. It wasn't Ellis I was thinking of. Forgive me. It's just that... When we were shooting in Devon, you always seemed so... vivid. Perhaps I'm just in a sentimental mood. My landlady was killed yesterday. I could hear her husband crying through the wall all night long. It seems to me when life is so very precarious, it's an awful shame to waste it. I was wondering. On page 76, I say... They're getting worried. About the ending. Turned Ministry spy now? Is that it? Could I... - Sorry. - I'm sorry. I didn't mean-- - Don't bother. It's not worth it. What do you think? It's not very good. It's not very... Buckley. It's not your fault, you know. It really isn't. You'd better go home, Mrs. Cole. Exterior train. Station. A full moon, a clear sky. A man sits by the shore. There has been a quarrel. A woman is walking away from him. Now she turns back. "I didn't mean what I just said. And, anyway, you said worse." It was a declaration. - "Stupid bloody fool" was good. Did you think of that beforehand? Are you trying to pick a fight with me, Mrs. Cole? No. What I'm trying to say is that... if all of this stopped... the sparring and the jibing and the insults and the arguments... I'd miss it. Even if I were dead, I'd still miss it. The Catrin Cole School of Dialogue. On and on and on and on and on. Lose half. - Which half? - The half you don't need. - All right. All right. I'd miss you. I'd miss you more than I can say. Help me take this. None on that side. Keep going. Let's go around this way. Mrs. Cole? Watch yourself, girl. - Mrs. Cole? - Hmm? - I thought you was under it. - I was in the office. Hmm. Okay, coming in from the left. I might have to borrow clothes. Talk to the costumes mistress, but don't be surprised if she's tetchy. A parachute mine took the roof off Studio Four last night and her Panzer division uniforms are ruined. They're saying it was the worst night of bombing yet. Nothing left of Wimbledon, apparently. The props master hasn't turned up, the best boy's in hospital, and no one knows where the grip is, so we're having to make do with whatever we can get. It's got a bit of a wobble. Might have to lash it to the gantry. There'll be tears before bedtime, mark my words. No, you've got a bit of a wobble. - Chick. Could we save that lamp till we roll, please? Sorry, Mr. Hilliard. It's heavy. - More? - Much more. This man hasn't had a bath since the last time he fell off the boat. Change of plans. Going straight from Uncle Frank's Mayday to wounded Johnnie fixing the propeller. Hurry up, Rex. We need you over here. Yes, sir. Corning. Quick as I can. Right, what can I do for you, sir? Right, be careful. Careful. And watch out for that-- Watch the wires, please. - I thought you'd be at the office. - Don't lean against it. I was. I read your ending. You bagged it. - You were almost there. - Nowhere near. I've been useless for weeks. I read your other stuff, too. Oh? - What did you think? - Hmm. Bit inconclusive. I wasn't really sure where it was going next. No. I wasn't too sure of that, either. Crumbs. Find Mrs. Cole! I need to talk to Mrs. Cole. Mrs. Cole! Has anyone seen Mrs. Cole? - Come on before they find us. - Where? I don't know. I never come to the studio. Mrs. Cole! The boss wants to try a take without Uncle Frank's lines 'cause he says we are losing visual tension. Mr. Hilliard is talking about the integrity of the story, saying he will play the scene as you wrote it or not at all. - Nobody's had any sleep and you're just-- - It's all right. I'm coming. No. Let me deal with it. Once Hilliard gets his hands on you, he won't let you go for hours, and I was rather hoping to do that myself. Careful of big boy, - it's got a bit of a wobble on it. Don't- - Don't lean against it. - Whoa! Nobody move! - Buckley! Nobody move, stay exactly where you are until we have some lights in here. Stay where you are. Back. Back, please. Everybody get back. Please take the girls away from the stage. Mr. Brown, please take them away. Almost dawn. Johnnie has been doing his best to fix the engine, but he is getting weaker by the minute. And we all know when the sun comes up, the German planes will be back. - Oh! No one wants to be here, but we have a hole in this picture. A stranded boat, a broken propeller, no one to fix it, and no Tom Buckley. - Well, maybe we could reshoot. - Who with? Ambrose Hilliard is still in plaster, Wyndham Best's in the North Atlantic, and Carl Lundbeck is back with the RAF. Could one of the Frenchies do it? Come to our rescue, same way we came to theirs? It doesn't seem right morale-wise. We could, uh, pan across the faces of the soldiers and never actually see who fixes... The work's good, Mrs. Cole. None of them could have done any better. You're mustard these days. Rose could do it. Rose could free the propeller. Cerberus, sit. Rugelach... - and kogel mogel. - Mmm-hmm. To build you up in time for the premiere. You'll be interested to learn I received several unexpected propositions this week. - How delightful for you. Of course, I do not speak of erotic advances. These were professional inquiries regarding your availability. You will be kind enough to read, give your opinion. The doctors tell me you are to be discharged in a few days. I cannot see you will be in a condition to look after yourself. I... I therefore propose that we should ready a room in the apartment for your use. I believe a few weeks' proper care will be of great benefit... to your career. You're still a very handsome man, Mr. Hilliard. Yes. But your good looks have fallen prey to a certain scrawniness. Oh, no, we can correct this, I believe, together. - Thank you, Mr. Hilliard. This way, Mr. Hilliard. - Young ladies, thank you. - Thank you so much. - Thank you. I'm not concerned about how many lines I have. I'd rather have four honest words - than 50 pages of bilge. - Wyndham Best. - Young lady. Remarkably good turnout. Mr. Frayle. - Hello. Did you- - Is this-- - Yes. Congratulations. Well done. - Good evening. - Miss Moore. Very ship shape. - Why, thank you. - Hello. Let me do this. Mrs. Cole? She's coming? I tried. Oh, Miss Pugh, your uncle's here to see you. Forgive the deceit. Your landlady didn't look the sort to approve a gentleman caller. To be perfectly frank, she's the first person I've met for weeks who didn't recognize me. She doesn't hold with the pictures. Ungodly. Ah! That's... That's charming. It's from Rose and Lily. The real Rose and Lily. They ran away to join the ATS. Rose thought if she could fix a propeller in a film, she could learn to mend an engine in real life. Ah. They're both mechanics now. Um... Baker's planning a new film. Air-raid wardens. Wants me in it. He's pretty much left the part up to me. So, I was thinking, newly retired cat burglar, not quite reformed. That's why he's so good at the rescues. He knows the way in and out of any property. Thing is, in the hands of the wrong writer... So, I was wondering if you would consider putting your time and talent... I don't do that anymore. I'm sorry. I just can't. You'll get- - You'll get soap in your eyes. Here. Hmm. My agent's. You and me, given opportunities only because young men are gone. Or dying. But to turn our back on those opportunities, even when one has suffered such great loss, wouldn't that be giving death dominion over life? Have you seen it yet? Our film? You should. It's very good. I'm awfully good. And so are you. Calling all small boats. All seaworthy vessels to report to your local harbor master immediately. Dunkirk. on, Lily! I think they're gonna get 'em out. Then they're going to need all the boats they can get, aren't they? The Nancy. - Here, boy. - Here. Don't be a fool, Johnnie. There's a sniper up there. I don't care if he's got a bleedin' cannon. I'm not gonna sit by and watch him shoot a dog. Aww! What in the- - What is that? It's France, Uncle Frank. Dunkirk. Blimey. There's so many of us. They'll never get us all out. Hitler? Hitler? Who the bleedin' hell does he think he is? - Who the bleeding heck do you think you are? Who do you think you are? - Johnnie! That's it. There you go. Thank you, Grandad. You deserve a medal, mate. Johnnie. - Johnnie. Johnnie. - Careful. The kid's pretty messed up. He kept talking about some broad called Nancy. I guess that must be you. I'm Rose. This is the Nancy. Rose. The propeller's snarled. If I- - If I can just cut it free-- Just pretend you're Errol Flynn. He can do anything. I've cut it free. - She's moving. Come on, you beauty. - She'll do it. I haven't had the chance to thank you, Mr. Brannigan, for bringing Johnnie back. There's no mister, and back home, they call me Gene. - Thank you, Gene. - Thank you, Gene. - Tell me one thing. In another time, another place, could it have been me? Perhaps, but you're talking about a world without Johnnie. And that's not a world I'd care to live in. Have you ever looked at something and known you want it, want it more than anything you've ever wanted in your life before, and known that it can never be yours? I have, and I tell you, it'll either finish you or put a fire in your belly that'll keep burning to the end of your days. I wasn't there at the beginning of the story, but you can bet your bottom dollar I'm not leaving before the end. Because I know now that it has to be the right sort of ending. The sort of ending that's worth fighting for. Miss. Oh. Wanna stay and watch it again? You'll find more in to make you laugh second time round. I've seen it five times. It's our picture, isn't it? They're our girls. Thanks, but I'd better get back to work. What's work? Air-raid wardens. - They want an outline. - We haven't got a story yet. And they're asking about characters, apart from Hilliard as a cat burglar. Three girls, three different walks of life. I need specifics. A nun, a showgirl, a lady wrestler. Seriously, you push us now, and that's what you'll get. Men? Well, who else are the girls gonna fall in love with? - Each other? - We've got titles. Raiders Overhead. Fires Overhead. Fire in the Sky. They are looking for the female angle again. - A Tin Hat for Tallulah. - Girls Like Them? - Girls Like You. Girls Like Us? - You need an ending. - We're working on it. Make it a happy one. It will be. ♪ I'm not afraid of the dark ♪ - ♪ Are you? ♪ - ♪ Are you? ♪' - ♪ Are you? ♪ - ♪ Are you? ♪ ♪ Gee, but it's nice in the dark ♪ - ♪ With the moon ♪ - ♪ The moon ♪ - ♪ And you ♪ - ♪ And you ♪ ♪ When we go strolling in the park at night ♪ ♪ Oh, the darkness is a boon ♪ ♪ Who cares if we're without a light ♪ ♪ They can't black out the moon ♪ ♪ I see you smiling in the cigarette glow ♪ ♪ Though the picture fades too soon ♪ ♪ But I see all I want to know ♪ ♪ They can't black out the moon ♪ ♪ We don't grumble ♪ ♪ We don't worry about alarms ♪ ♪ But when you stumble ♪ ♪ You stumble right into my arms ♪ ♪ And when you kiss me don't you realize ♪ ♪ That my heart's like a big balloon ♪ ♪ And, like a love light in your eyes ♪ ♪ They can't black out the moon. ♪ What's the matter Mrs.James? You better get some good rest tonight. It's these the hard shifts. I had some bad news this morning, Miss. My Jim's missing. Oh! Try not to worry. I'm sure he'll turn up. Oh! I do hope so, Miss. I expect I'll feel better when I have cuppa tea. That's right. It's finishing time now. A million bullets for dispatch by the morning! ? But I tell you the girls have done 10 hours today already. Yes. I hear myself urgently. But you expect these girls to run 14 hours on stretch. Alright! I'll ask them. She doesn't have to ask us. A million bullets by the morning! Alright! Come on girls, it's gotta be done! Stop! Stop there. Stop right there. Alright. Can't go no further. Passengers for Blue-3, you're on foot from here. OK. Hm...hm. This way, Miss. A million bullets by morning! ? No wonder the audience booed or snored. We learnt our mistake. That would have shorted their eyesight not the picture. Authenticity. That's what they are after, you know. Authenticity informed by optimism. You think I don't understand to give an audience optimism? I've three grandsons in the forces. Your company reputation is founded primarily on comedy. Highest grossing British picture of the year was a comedy. Mine. And Mr.Buckley here, wrote it. Yes, and very entertaining was too, but... if we were to capture public imagination and their trust, we need more than...fat policeman toppling off ladders. We need a story to inspire a nation. Give me all in brief, Mr.Swain. This year, I'll bring you a picture to win the war. You have your briefings today later...authenticity and optimism. .... Schmuck.... Right. I'll look for a story. So sorry. Monstrous of us to have kept you waiting. Welcome to the Ministry of Information, Film Division Roger Swain. You must be Ms.Cole? Missus. Ah! Splendid. Please take a seat. Husband in forces? He volunteers as an air-raid warden. But he wasn't fit for conscription. He fought in the war in Spain. Splendid! That's splendid. Now, about the job. We need to cultivate a more convincing female angle in our output. Mr.Buckley here, has been appointed to the department as a Special Advisor. Not "Special" enough to get paid, obviously. He seems to think, you are what we need. I said, "Might be". She can't be worse than the chaps you got. Did you write...this? Hm..hmm. This rapta-rama chips? I... I was the secretary at the copy-writing department. But...all the copywriters got called up. "So-be-fee. It ain't beef, but it ain't bad!" Yes, sometimes, you have to make do of what you got. Ah! Splendid. Ministry wages start at £3 and £10. And obviously we can't pay you as much as the chaps.... so shall we say £2 a week? Thank you. You a cinema goer? Yes. Then you will be familiar with informationals. We sandwich them between the support and the main features for the public to be informed, don't have time to escape. What to do in an air-raid? Get under-cover at once. Don't stand staring at the sky. Take cover at once! You will find a page of script equates to a minute of screen time, or roughly 80 yards or celluloid, or... the word of directors who didn't squander the film stock as if it were lavatory paper. Speaking of which, "ladies" is last door on the left. I wouldn't risk the other facilities if I were you. I thought it was a Secretarial post. For God sake! Keep that to yourself. This way! This way! This way! What did they say! ? The War Artist Committee? They find my interpretations all together too brutal and dis-spirited. You're so much better than the all the rest of them. All the rest of them, managed to put food on the table. Ellis, I had a meeting today. About a new job. They offered it to me. £2 a week. You know Perry wants you to work for him. I told him only I'm allowed to blame you. You are me for my perspective. No. They are puttin' him, cause they want you there. Right. I've to get to the warden's fast. Is it alright then, Jon? Well done Catrin. When there's raid, I want you to go down the tube station. I didn't bring you all the way from Wales to see you get hit by a bomb. I saw April today. She and Tony have made up ever such clear code. So you can write to him about what she's doing. 'The Veg green' that means England. 'Onion Soup' is France. There's a word for regiment and one for troop... Oh.... Do you really have to smoke that thing, Ambrose? Wouldn't you just mind? I can mind smoking. I can't mind smoke. That's a cut. I wonder would it be possible to have something to do? My hands are aching for something to do. And it seems alright for the character. Perhaps, try to find some knitting? Water or word. I fully understand the national importance of what we are shooting, and obviously, there's no question of diluting the message. I just... I wonder if it might impact a little more punch if Mr.Brown would express a little more. For example, the mention of the clever code, I might say, "Well, that will be the first clever thing, April has ever done in her life" Did you...do you see? Just a...just a dash of...of humor and then follow it on. Excuse me. Hello? Oh! Certainly. Oh! No. No, no, no. It's...it's just that the caption at the end's going to be, "He's not listening, but the enemy might be". It's a joke for women who think their husbands never pay attention. So if you start answering, you know, the captions won't make sense. I wrote it! The scenario? I'll be in my dressing room... if anyone needs me. Everybody take 10. Save the lights. Banished from the set? What in God's name possessed you? The actor was ruining the script. Of course he was! He is an actor. What's this? Penance? Hello, Mable. How's baby? He's comin' along splendidly. With more free time, I should like to do more work. I simply don't know what to do. You good with your hands? I think so. Yes. Have you thought about factory work? And the version without the lines, please. Whatever we used footage for carrots. Hello, Mable. How's baby? He's comin' along splendidly. An appetite like his father! He's eatin' us out the house. I simply don't know what to do! Yeah. You good in the garden? I think so. Yes. Yes. Have you thought about... Carrots? Right! I'll get that recorded. Thank you. How's it been anyway? What the scenario didn't make you feel welcome? He can't see the point in me. There's a dog in the script. We don't even employ Jack Russel to write woof woof, do we? Just been readin' your work. Umm...them could be better. We should get some lunch. I don't accept charm. It's official business. I've a proposal for you. When I'm not busy special advising, I work for a man called Gabriel Baker. Remember him? The Hungarian. He's a producer. Desperate to me. A film that will make a difference. Hello, Tom. Hello. Sorry. Excuse me. Dunkirk, evacuation of troops, trapped by the German advance. 700 fishing boats and the world maybe on a mission to bring our boys home. Twin sisters, took their father's cockaboat, and, joined the rescue and came back with a deck of soldiers. It's everything the Ministry are after. Authenticity and optimism. Contradiction in terms if you ask me, but, this could be a bloody good story. Before they will give it a go ahead, they want someone to go down there and talk to the girls. Me? Unless your artist object. So, how did you meet? Came in to avail steelworks. Ah! He's one of those artists. Older than you? Yes. Fifty? No! Sixty! ? Oh! That is tough. You can't afford to be an artist. Actually his family dis-inherited him. Because of you? Because of his politics. So what do you think? They there at the sea-side. And you never know, if there's a film at the end of it, it might be a better job in it for you. I need somebody to run the slob. Slob? Girl talk. Woman's dialog. Woof, woof. Hello. I've come to see Rose and Lily Starling. I'm not to talk to papers. I'm not to let no one in. I'm not from the papers. I'm from the Ministry of Information. The Film division. Film? And then you went to Dunkirk? We meant to. But the engines stopped five miles out. Broken bearing. We never got there. But in the paper...it said, you got home troops. This steam tug on it's way back gave us a tow. Soldiers spilling' over the rails. So we pulled someone in, see. Someone seen us docking' and put it in the paper. They got the wrong end of the stick. Didn't they? Dad said, we'd be a laughin' stock. Said, "You mustn't tell the papers". But you write in the papers. For the pictures? Can Lily ask you somethin'? Yes. Have you ever met Robert Donat? The famous actor? No. No, I haven't I'm afraid. Dad! Come quickly. Would you like soup kitchen? It's not him. It's alright though. He don't like strangers, see. Don't like a lotta things. But you took his boat without asking. Weren't you scared? One of the soldier's had this kit bag and suddenly it woofed! It gave us such a fright. It was a dog. And one of them Frenches tried to kiss her. I'm scared now of what your dad might do. No! He got himself a bottle. He thought we'll be back before he woke up. Besides, Eric was in Dunkirk. Eric? Dad's first-mate. Got us photographs for our birthday. Yeah. He got same birthday. Robert Donat in "The 39 Steps"... and John Clements in "The Four Feathers". Have you ever met John Clements? No. I haven't. Those ones are mum's. We don't know who he is. Oh! I did meet him. Is there going to be a film? Probably not. Stupid, bloody engine, eh? How can one little drink... I gotta get home or I'll be late. How about a kiss? Not thank you. I could be back in action tomorrow... ? Bon a fee passengers come on! Bon a fee passengers to the right. Catrin? I got caught in the raid. Ended up in the big street shelter. I didn't know where you were. I didn't know if you were safe. I never know if you're safe. Oh God! Look at you. I'll be alright after a cuppa tea. They've already ruptured the mains. Look, Catrin... I want you to go back to Ebbw Vale. Ellis! It's the biggest steelworks in Europe. They are more likely to get bombed there, than here... It's just not the bombing. I can't afford for us to live here anymore. I can't afford for us to live, anywhere. I earn. If I want on my own, I can toss myself in a Paris studio. I could keep painting. You don't have to keep me. I earn! Your wages seem better off a husband's roof over your head. Please don't turn me into one of those things that make it harder. Mr.Cole? South from downstairs. I'm not the "War". I'm not the "Committee". I would it better. Mrs.Cole? Hello Alf. Heavy rescue. They want to know how many number in cellar 12. Alright. When the twins got to Dunkirk, they did whatever every other small boats did. Ferry troops off the beach and onto the big ships waiting in the deeper water. They were shelling' and drafin', but they honestly didn't talk about that. What really seems to have stuck with them are the details. The little authentic details... There's a soul Joe with the dog in his kit-bag. Umm, the Frenchman that tried to kiss Lilly. I wish I could make you understand, how awfully brave they were... Their father's a bully, I think. A bit of a drunk. They're terrified of him, but, they took his boat anyway. "The Nancy". The Nancy? "The Nancy Starling"...after their mother. The nail on the head! Hm? Wonderful. Authenticity, optimism and a dog! I imagine, call ups left quite a hole in the ranks. So, in the interests of a quick turn around, we'll let you have some of our people. Mrs.Cole, Ms.Moore, hmm-umm, Ye...yes. If this is good to get this to cinemas, we'll have a few of them standing. Well done. Yeah. Yeah! Do I have the job? Well why not? Twins after all, double the slob. Temporary secondment to bake the productions. No screen credit. Ministry wages. I need more. I could throw in less. I need more than Ministry wages. I'll talk to Baker. Leslie Backs birthday mine. Still staggering around the studios giving his unhinged love to young ones back... Oh! No, no, no Ceres. Too much glass. You know if you'd paid your clients half as much attention as do that hyena, you might actually be an agent worth having. Spitfires. Won't you help a bird? Ambrose Hilliard, a man with the glimpse. Oh! I know him a celebrity. Would you do him for me? Would you? Inspector Chamforth? Someone has made a mistake. It's a simple mistake. And it's easy to him. I would have missed it myself. Oh! Umm... Spitfires, Sammy? It's in the pocket. Pocket. Ah! Thank you. Oh! When can we expect to see you back at the screen Mr.Hilliard? When indeed. Well, apparently Baker films have a done post-script in the works. Hm? Apparently, you will be in here. They want a title. We haven't started bloody writing it yet. And they are asking about locations. Or start casting yet too? Don't tempt me. About a beach twins. That's all you're getting. Try Devon. Or Dunkirk. You can go scam-tit. Personally. Hm? Her. Seconded here to smile on us. You tell her nothing. Understand? All the every government department and wives sticking their womb. Desk. Parfitt, you met. Rising partner. Delighted to have you on-board. Report! So what do you think? Hm...father leaves a bad taste. Dunkin says it's good though. Aa..make him an uncle? No. Uncle Frank. Yes. Sassed in the hold. Waits up in Dunkirk. Double takes when he sees the stooges. Gives us the laughs and takes the bullet in act 3. Comic life. Tragic death. Tears all around. Yeah. First mate, bloke in France, needs to be her boyfriend. No, it's Eric. Either. Girls, what are they like? Shy, quiet. Really hardly spoke. One quite, one chatty. They both quite. Not if they want them in our dialogue. How old are they? Thirty. Ah! Marvelous. Working title "Old Maids of Margate" It's Southend. Twenty one, Lily sweet Rose spunky. Rose gets the boyfriend. My darling, I couldn't die without saying, "The cornflower blow in your eyes the final time." You can have that on me. What's his name? The boyfriend. Eric. Eric Lum. Do you hear that noise? That's 200 women in 1 in 9 never allowed to call their sons anything as bloody feeble as Eric. Give me hero's name? Jon. Dull. Johnnie. Hm..hmm. They left him to make it back. Injured. Oh! This. A rescue! Don't be a fool, Johnnie. There's a sniper out there! Hear! Saved a smiling Officer. Hm. Fellow soldier...saves the dog. But he didn't! In real life, he didn't. Films! Mrs.Cole. Real life with the boring bits cut out. Don't confuse facts with truth and for Christ sake... don't get either way in the story. Now...we know how it starts... Johnnie in France. We know how it ends. Home safe. And we know somewhere in between, we have... dog, Dunkirk, engine failure and uncle's death. Now all we have to do is, fill-in-the-gaps. I'm buyin' it. Down payment. Call it a trend. Call it what you like, but I'm not leaving London. Hmmp... Sorry we're not... Buckley, Parfitt. Meeting now. Ministry of War Transport. Seems they had wind of your proposed filming scenario. Apparently they are concerned that, "The Nancy Starling" engine failure may cost moral sapping doubt on the quality of British engineering. It was her. Bloody Ministry spy! What if it's not the engine? What if it's the propeller? It gets snarled up with blotsun and Uncle Frank goes in the water to free it, gets shot and the girls have to finish the job. And the fire. Not the girls. Not the girls? Aaa... Johnnie! Johnnie? So is there an echo in here? Why him? Because he's a hero! So? Well, how do you know he's a hero, if he doesn't do anything heroic? Well, he's called Johnnie. Are you trying to put up a fight with me Mrs.Cole? Johnnie can't go in the water! He's injured. Badly injured. Manly slash on the biceps for Christ sake! He's...he's not gonna be leaking spleen through his trousers. "Mrs.Rosen Lily story" and you won't let them do anything. Then go to Dunkirk. And Johnnie pirates them home. They are girls! Here girls don't want to be the hero. They want to have the hero. They want to have by him! Huh? Tom? Cab. And back in there if Viper just even gets her nose through the office door while we are out, you are sacked! And don't think I won't know, I can smell her shaving cream on the wind. Anything else? Since you're so keen to flex your femininity, you can tidy up. I heard furniture. Angels of the sea, across the waves, two to Dunkirk, three to Dunkirk, Dunkirk O'bust, busts Dunkirk. Somewhere in the world, there is bullet with that man's name on. Why hasn't he been called up? Apart from Parfitt's too old. But, Buckley? Baker persuaded someone that Buckley was more use to the war than the typewriter. It won't last. He'll end up in a uniform, like every mother's son. That is if he ever had a mother. More likely, Parfitt found him in a pub spawning spontaneously in saw dust. No. A lot of men are scared we won't go into our boxes, when this is all over. Makes them belligerent. Something's changed. I tidied it. What happened at the meeting? I outlined our proposed changes. They accepted them. What's this? Lunch. Girls compile the boat at home, right? They compile it, the bloody boat... they can lead the damn fleet for all I care! But Johnnie. Freeze the propeller. You're late! I took the liberty of ordering. It's alright. We've guests, eh? Friends from Poland. Things are very bad in Europe. It's not exactly a picnic here. If you haven't noticed. You can't find a decent waiter in service since they joined the war. They all got rounded up in so called "Enemy of the State". Apart from Jepetto over there. Rumor is that he is a spy. Ceres. Eh? Aw! Christ! A dead sheep? Hm. Not strictly Russian ? , but certainly can't live on crusts and straps. So I'm going to roll it up and make him some bowl. Lucky fellow. Well perhaps your sister would like to start feeding me too, unless of course you actually found me some work. So. Baker's outlined for the Dunkirk film. You read it? It rattles along better rather than one might've expected. Johnnie's escaped from the steel thrust of the German war machine. The rescue of the dog... Here boy! Here! No. No, no, no. Not you Ceres. Because it all depends on who they are planning to cast as Rose. Uncle Frank. A shipwreck of a man. Sad! Six times looks older. Your role is not to be snared at, Ambrose. Gratuitous, experience, maturity. We all have a part to play in defeating Hitler. Not this part. It's a corpse role! He's dead before the end of act 3. Mr.Smith. Mr.Hilliard. Ambrose, you must see, you, me, the industry, we are all at the service of the war. "The War"? "The War"? Damn bloody war. The war has skimmed off the cream and we are left with the rancid curse. I'm sorry I took so long. There was a bomb crater on the Millibar Road. Oh! No one told me there was a meeting. No. We rather tried to keep this under wraps at present. It seems that there's someone in this disdain department, who knows there's someone who says that the Starling sisters never got to Dunkirk. That their engine broke down before they even were out of British waters. Pity. Pity all around really. Your first draft bore it so well. Actually, the Starking sisters lied. What difference does it really make? God sake! Of course it makes a difference! It's not the truth! The truth is, they stole a boat from a man, who terrified them and... set out to cross 50 miles of open sea into a war. They never got there! Because their engine failed! Now that's a truth we won't be telling. Moral sapping apparently. We pick our truths. Isn't that the point? We are saying, this is based on a true story. We don't! For Christ above man! You are supposed to be a propagandist. 700 ships went to Dunkirk! 338,000 men came back! Don't say, "It's based on a true story"! Say, "It's based on a hundred true stories"! A thousand! Three hundred thirty eight thousand. Dunkirk, the biggest retreat in military history, or, the miracle that put the fire back in all our bellies. Very well. Carry on as you were. I've a car waiting. Buckley? Buckley? I don't care that you lied. I cared that you lied to us. There wasn't enough money. Ellis wanted me to back to Wales. Do you want me to compare to Mr.Blitz? I'm sorry. Well his partner would be relieved. His wife, Mary, she's an invalid. He pays for a nurse in the day, but he has to sit with her himself at night. When I told him, you wanted more than Ministry wages, he was worried you would find yourself in a similar position, With your husband Spanish War and all. Should I...do you want me to come in tomorrow? How would that help losing you? Who the bloody hell do you think is going to be running the slob? The work's good, Mrs.Cole. You do a good job. Oh! Oh. Hello Catrin. Hello. Hello. Ellis? You look so pale in corduroy. Your friends are they? I got a letter...from the Commission document bombed down in the provinces. An exhibition in London, straight after. And that's for gallery. Ellis! Would there be Sunday trains do you think? Only that I need to get back to London, Monday mornings. What are you talking about? Coming to see you. You will be with me, silly. Yes, of course! After the script is finished. Umm..get out of that actually. I don't want to get out of it. I don't want to let them down. No. of course not. Now, I leave on Monday. Umm, I'll be back in London for the exhibition. I suppose it's not very far off. No. It's not so very far off. And I'll come and visit as often as I can. Right, then. Veal's off. I ordered cutlets, Millenezi. And Cimbalino pudding. So...so you are Mr.Ambrose Hilliard? Ye..yes. I... I'm Sophie Smith. Samuel's sister. Ah! He was in office. Last night he was working late. It was bombed. They have asked me to identify him. I... I'm unable. Mr.Hilliard? Mr.Hilliard? I'm afraid my dear, someone has made a mistake. I almost did that myself. You see Sammy Smith, has two fingers missing from his left hand. I'm sorry. We tried very hard to...to make a whole person. For the relatives. Is it him? Is it your friend? My agent... Yes. That's him. You can stay with us, if you like. It's very peaceful. I'm sure we can make room. To Mrs.Cole, Seasonal Greetings. With very best wishes - Lily and Rose Starling. P.S. We hope the film is going well. Happy New Year, Mr.Hilliard. Sammy, liked the veal, I believe. Do you also recommend it? It's not veal in the pre-war sense. Now that Samm... Now that my brother has gone, I must find something with which to occupy myself. I've responsibilities. Dependents. I've decided that to continue with the agency. I understand, Sammy discussed with you Baker's Dunkirk film? The role of an inebriated uncle. No! You know, after conversations like this with my brother I would say, "What have you got to lose by being honest Sammy?" Explain to the man, he's 63. Not 36. And that he's pre-flown to fame is "Inspector Chamfold". Chamforth. Inspector Chamforth. Please be calm Mr.Hilliard. I'm perfectly calm. What you're seeing is controlled anger tempered with ice headed detachment. This is one of the many subtle emotions which a good actor is capable of. Three weeks and location Devon. Followed by three in a London studio. There are currently only nine films in pre-production with the studios. None of the others hold a role for you. I hope I share some of my brother's qualities, Mr.Ambrose. I do not however share his sentimental attachments. I'll not keep un-profitable clients on the books. Veal. Twice please. Oh! And some veal pudding? Excellent choice. Too long. Lose half. Which half? The half you don't need. What's the matter? You look like you haven't slept in a month. I'm alright! I just found it easy when it was every night, at least you know what's coming. Well, never having known the joys of married love myself. The bombing! Ah! I thought perhaps it was the long treks with the husband in the provinces. Not really...it's difficult you know. The trains. Oh! What is...? What's that? It's France, uncle Frank! It's Hitler! Bloody what! ? Meeting now with Mr.Swain. We were about to issue this shooting script. They want all of you. Oh, no! Oh! Don't worry. With all that studded buried. It will be some Rear Admiral than lather with the wind speed. Wrong for the day in question. Ah...when did I mention. It's at Whitehall. The Ministry of War. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he today that sheds his blood with me, shall be my brother. And gentlemen in England now abed, Shall think themselves accursed they were not here. And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks that fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day. The power, what a dramatic art. America! Firmly against any military involvement in a war they see as Europe's business. I'm sure I need not tell you, how many people have turned up at the cinema every week in this country. Thirteen... 13 million. In America, that figure is closer to 90. Mr.Churchill is persuaded that film, in particular your film, presents us with a unique opportunity to put our case to the American people. They fear that we are already beaten. You show that we fight on. They believe this country to be dominated by an upper class elite. You present a vision of Britain... in which ordinary working people are the heroes. But most crucially of all, your film, concerns itself directly with the feminine experience. To show your American sisters that this is a war their sons and husbands and others should be fighting. Of course we want America to listen, give them someone to listen to. A character with whom they can really identify. You want us to put an American in it! ? Exactly so! Ideally of course from a cast of star with British connection. Carry Grant over Erill Flynn. But the war will not wait on the convenience on a hollow schedule. Besides...we rather think, down one letter. Carl Lundbeck, American boy, Norwegian forefather. Before the war, he threw crop dusting over his parent's farm in Michigan. When Germany invaded Norway, Carl made his way to England to join the RAF. Where he's made himself very much at home. Salmon are the only creatures that should stay out of flight lieutenant Lundbeck's way. So far he shot down 24 German planes. For which Britain gives her gratitude. A genuine hero. An inspiration to all other Americans. And as I believe as you chaps say, "The camera loves him" Even more, if he was in Technicolor. Color? I think they can manage that. Ah! There weren't any Americans in Dunkirk! Petant! Pack your bags Mrs.Cole. You're coming to Devon. * Aha! Aha! Pretty cuppa kettle. Pretty cuppa kettle * * Bright copper kettle. Bright copper kettle * * I got you get you kettle, kettle. I got to get you kettle * * I got to get you kettle...doh... * Ain't finished. I'm not finished. You're completely finished. Fly in the fucking word "Kettle" one more fucking time... I'm going to find one and shove it up your ass. Say it once? Sorry. I think your...hair... God! When was that.... I think your eyebrows are really woolly, so they stick out in all different directions... Different directions! ? What! What do you mean? I've... I've had... I've four honest words. Fifty pages of bilge. Now you play Rose? No I play Rose. I play Lily. This script is the best thing I've read in a month in Sundays, don't you think? Well...? Wyndham Best, I play Johnnie. Johnnie? The soldier. Ah! Or the hero. If you will. Oh! I picked up an introduct. Just got here...see the point. Last year... Ah! Harry. Mind if I join you? Documentary makers and authenticity. It's a rancid curse. Buckley! Just hide me. Hide me. What? Uncle Frank is Mr.Hilliard. You knew he's gonna be here. He's probably didn't expect me! She alright? Avoiding Hilliard...unfortunate experience. Carnal? What! ? No! Oh, that! ? Oh! I shouldn't worry about that. He's an actor. Unless you review them, have intercourse with them or... do both simultaneously. They don't remember you. Ah, ladies and gentlemen, it is my privilege to introduce you now... to a young man, to whom we all owe a great deal. Soon we hand him back to the RAF, for a very different kind of shooting. Until then, he's our very own American. Mr.Carl Lundbeck. Hi...uh.. Alex Craig, Director. Good to meet you. Wyndham Best. I'll do my best playing Johnnie. Carl Lundbeck. Flight lieutenant. Hi. Hello. Mr.Hilliard? I've forgotten right... Mr.Ambrose Hilliard. Yes. Sir... I saw every Inspector Chamforth picture there ever was. Just used to go right back and watch them again. Oh! You see, someone has made a mistake. A simple mistake that could be easy to miss. Yes! Oh! Sir, I need to wire my mom. There's our secret weapon. Now you write him in. No excuses and no bar bills. God bless America. God bless America. Well, he's very handsome. Oh! Cmon! So what's an American doing in Dunkirk? No. Scrub that. What isn't he doing? Fighting. Yeah. So what does that make him? Appeased? Now we need a hero. I don't know, umm...travel writer...journalist? Journalist! Hard boiled wise cracking Yankee hack who compile it to both heroically. No. You're not pinching any more action from Rose and Lily. I'm... I'm picking entire bloody structure either. Could you get from the high over there, please? Of course the irony is... they've given this to a bloody documentaries director. He won't want any dialog anyway. It will all be fishing nets and local kids playing football. You wait. What if, it's not what the American does that makes us put our work? It's what he doesn't do. He falls for those. He doesn't try to come between her and Johnnie. Self sacrifice. That's noble. Only if he stands a chance? Maybe he does. Maybe she likes him because he is the sort who let her fix the propeller. So give him a name "Margenes". Joe. Hard boiled types only have last names. Buckley. Taken. Now what were you before you became Cole? Catrin Pule. Kathrine? Catrin's the Welsh version. It was his idea. A beautiful Welsh girl deserves a beautiful Welsh name. Where would you've drawn the line? Cardiff Cole. Caffeine Cole. Coalmine Cole. Hey! ? That's my chips! Alright. Catrin Pule, you're coming with me. Try again, Johnnie. Positions. No. No, no makeup. Quiet please. Quiet please everyone. I'll give you a finger click for a sniper shot. Just a very quite click, please. It's hard to explain to a non-actor but I want to react to the sniper up there and not the click down here, you see? Is there a chance to find a real gunner up there? No. Right. Up for take? Sounds. Sound rolling. Scene. Dunkirk film scene 17, take 1. Good luck Lieutenant Lundbeck. Action. Here boy. Here. Cmon boy! Don't be a fool Johnnie! There's a sniper out there! And he's got a friend. It's a Karabiner 98 kurz. Best damn gun since the wor...that's the 73! I... I'm awfully sorry. I... I've lost my line. Cut! Twenty three takes! I mean he stopped because we ran out of film stock. The War house wanted him. The distributors wanted him. None of them thought to give him a bloody screen test? Will Johnnie replace him? This one has a significant part to play in putting the national case to the American public. He is the tempered. If that empath young stays, the film fails, the national case with it. He's a brave boy. With you, or I think so brave. Is Mr.Baker alright? He lost one of his grandsons Oh! Hit by a tram on shore leave. Oh! Must make it so much worse. If wasn't "for" anything. Promise to Baker. This wasn't "for" anything. Just think people like films. Because story is a structure. And...a shape. Purpose and meaning. One thing's turned bad. It's still part of a plan, you know, it's...it's...there's a point to it. I like life. You don't believe in a match, do you? I believed this was gonna be a good picture. How did you get to do this? Writing I mean. Parfitt. He's making comedies for Baker. Used to click gangs of heard into me sung in the pub. Many a time. He'll think you were born into purpose. Certainly spent enough time in 'em as a kid. He was a soldier. In and in the last one. The thing about men who get sent away to war, Mrs.Cole, is that some of them don't come back at all... some come back as heroes... and some of them come back drunk squalid bullies. I was better off it this way. In the pub? Or the pictures. I liked the pictures best. Once in a while you just need to make one that's worth it. Worth...the hour and a half of someones life that's gonna see it. Ah! I really thought this one would be. Bloody Yanks. Hm. Would be alright if all we had to do is look at him. We strip him down to the essentials and use a voice-over. I wasn't there at the beginning of the story, but it all began in a little fishing village in Englo... Yes. Yes. Inarticulacy, authenticity. He's too cut out. Nah! No. He really can't. But Hilliard can. So we get Hilliard to coach him. Some sort of a...on the spot "dumb show" so that the Yank knows what he's supposed to be doing. Gentlemen, I fear that there has been some sort of misapprehension. I'm an actor. By somewhat derided calling but mine nonetheless. Perhaps because we're engaged in an imitation of life, there's a common misconception, that anything living can do what we do. You have found not to be so, for which I offer my....sincerest consolations. I'm an actor, I know only my art. Of teaching. Of coaching. Of "dumb show". These things, I'm afraid, I know nothing. I'm so sorry to disappoint. Mr.Hilliard. You're right. You're right. Everything you just said. It's about respect. For the art and for the artists. And it makes me think, how wrong we've been, playing Uncle Frank for laughs. Yes, he's a drunkard and a clown. But he's also all those people who gave their sons to one war and now their grandsons to another. If we served that truth. If we gave you an Uncle Frank really worth your time and your talent, I wonder, if you would consider putting that same time and talent with helping Mr.Lundbeck... and the picture. Hm... I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Catrin Cole. I'm one of the writers. Catrin. Between us, we'll have them weeping in the aisles. I need to let Ellis know that I won't be there for his opening. I'll arrange a telegram. Least we can do. Time and talent is good. You think that beforehand? His exhibition only lasts two weeks. We'll have you back in London before it closes. Damn! Here. Cheers. Johnnie Lam. Kent, England. You? Branigan. Made in America. And not for export. So what are you doin' in here? Tryin' to get back. The propeller snarled. If I can just cut it free. Hurry uncle Frank. Hey! Hey there! Uncle Frank? I d...drop... I dropped... I dropped the knife. William? How old was she? My...my boys. Such...such an age, you been gone. Why didn't you send word? You could've stayed in France. I could've fetched you home. I... I... I could've carried you both. Oh! Oh! You mustered these days. Haven't you? Bye Buckley. Bye, Mrs.Cole * Pretty cuppa kettle. Pretty cuppa kettle * * Pretty cuppa bright kettle... * There it is! Dunkirk. Blimey! There're so many of us! Down there they nev... Mrs.Cole? They never get us all out. Ah! Where...where is she? Thank you! Cut. Could someone please get Mr.Hilliard out of Dunkirk? Find Mrs.Cole. Train ticket, Ration card, authorization to travel. Oh! Don't be nervous. Mr.Hilliard won't notice you're gone. It's not Mr.Hilliard. It's Ellis. He's going to be so disappointed in me. For missing' the opening. For not turnin' up to the last minute. Nonsense! Your husband is a lucky man, Mrs.Cole. I'm sure he knows it. He's not my husband. I mean he's not anyone else's either. It's just...we're not actually married. I bought the ring myself in Woolworth's. I see.. In love to run away with him, just...to proper. Not to care what other people thought. Uh...behind... Better get moving. Hilliard's looking for you. Wants to discuss what you wrote about uncle Frank's death. What did you think? Too long obviously. But apart from that... His...his final moments, believing Branigan and Johnnie are the sons lost in the last war. Wooh! Such an age. You been gone. Oh! It's all me! ? I still think we need a little bit more in terms of...in terms of backseeding. Oh! I'm... I'm awfully sorry Mr.Hilliard. But Mrs.Cole has a train to catch. What! ? She must go. Whoo... It's a personal matter. But will she be back tonight? Let's get you into makeup. Hm... You do look handsome in your sowester. Mr.Hilliard's going to be awfully angry. I'll blame War Transport. He'll have to make a deal with me. So? Fishes! Fishes every.... Don't...stand under any thousand pounders. Uh. The Director wants to speak to you. Let me guess. He's canceling my fitting for the dog costume. He didn't say what it's 'bout. Tell him, "he can find me". But... I have found you. No you haven't. You are a masseuse. Leaning the way of the ship. With Johnnie cradled, cradled in your arms. Cradle. Oh! No...no thank you. You look up. And you see coming towards you...across the deck. A vision of loveliness. And you say. Get up! "Kid's pretty messed up." Girl, kid's pretty messed up. He kept talking about some broad called Nancy. Kept talking about some broad called Nancy. I guess that must be you. I guess that must be you. OK... Action! Girl, the kid's pretty messed up. Kept talking about some broad called Nancy. I guess that must be you. To which, she replies, "I'm Rose. This is Nancy. The Nancy." To which you say... Rose. Did you know, if one were twenty years younger and differently inclined, one might be almost be tempted. (RED SAILS IN THE SUNSET BY WILL GROSZ) * Red sails in the sunset * * Way out on the sea * * Oh, carry my loved one * * Home safely to me * Cat... Catrin! Catrin? Cat...don't make me run. They're always going to be like that, aren't they? Younger, in awe of you. Like I was? Aw! Cmon Cat. You had a choice. You didn't choose me. I'll come back in a few days and we'll mend things. Oh! For God's sake. The flat's yours. You are the one who pays the rent. Anyway I'm going to Manchester tomorrow. They decided to take the exhibition on tour. This is a success then? It's success. I'm glad. You know the first time I painted you outside the steelworks? Maybe I shouldn't have shown you walking away. Oh! I don't know Ellis. Maybe you shouldn't have made me so bloody small. One ticket madam. Safe journey. Next please. War widows. War widows. There you are. War widows. War widows. War widows. (THEY CAN'T BLACK OUT THE MOON BY ART STRAUSS) * I'm not afraid of the dark * * Are you? (Are you? ) Are you? (Are you? ) * * Gee, but it's nice in the dark * * With the moon and you (and you) * * When we go strolling in the park at night * * All the darkness is a boon * * Who cares if we're without a light? * * They can't black out the moon * * I see you smiling in the cigarette glow * * But the picture fades too soon * Dunkirk in the can. * But I see all I want to know * To Dunkirk in the can. * You can't black out the moon * * I see you smiling in the cigarette glow * * But the picture fades too soon * * But I see all I want to know * * You can't black out the moon * * We don't grumble * * We don't worry about alarms * * And you stumble * * You stumble right into my arms * Too young. * And when you kiss me, don't you realize * Compared to what? Too young to write. * And like a love light in your eyes * * They can't black out the moon * Thank you. Oh! Well done. Thank you. You're up. Oh! No, no, no. Oh! Shut up Ambrose. You know you want to. Alright. Well...oh! Wild mountain thyme... (WILL YOU GO, LASSIE, GO BY FRANCIS McPEAKE) Here it is! * Oh, the summertime is comin' * * And the trees are softly blooming * * And the wild mountain thyme * * Grows around the blooming heather * * Will ye go, lassie * * And we'll all go to heaven to pull wild mountain thyme * So how was London? Quiet. No bombings Tuesdays apparently. I meant the exhibition. Very successful. * If my true love e'er come * And your artist? * I would surely find another * Likewise. * Where the wild mountain thyme * So why didn't you stay? * Grows around the blooming heather * Would have covered for you. * Will ye go... * I was thinking about...what Mr.Hilliard said about, needing to backseat for death speech. I am. * I will build my love a tower * * From the pure and crystal mountain * * And around I should... * * All the flowers of the mountain * * Will ye go, lassie, will ye go? * * And we'll all go to heaven * * To pull wild mountain thyme * * All around the blooming heather * Bombers moon. Someone would be copyin' it. So... You know, now a couple of days in Devon. London for the studio shoot. Huh...then what? Back to careless talk and carrots. Don't know. Swain's takin' about another feature. "Air Raid Wardens". There'll be slob. I don't know. Here. Tell you this. Marry you. What! ? I'm already married. No. You're not. That was private. It was a private conversation. Yeah you said you bought a ring yourself at Woolworth's. When times got hard he tried to send you back to Wales. And he's disappointed in you? He's a stupid bloody fool. But he's not as much a fool as you. He changed a name for Christ sake! Where's your fucking self respect? How dare you? You have no one. You don't know. I know you deserve better. You? You're the better! Catrin I...uh... Look I think...you must. And I think...you're a drunk squalid bully. Quiet! Hush. You are speaking of flight lieutenant Lundbeck? Cha? You know he didn't have any film roles under orders. They told me I would be good for "Eagle Squadron" recruitment, Sir. He's desperate to get back in the air. Poor boy. Tea sir? Thank you. Oh! Um... ? please. Please. For as long as you receive an article coaching fee, I don't see no objection your continuing to instruct him. Fee! ? Yes! Certainly a fee. I should be raising the matter with Mr.Baker today. Is...is there anything else you wish me to discuss with him? Uh... Dress-room articles? Or your intimate needs catered for? Sammy, once mentioned you do not like to share studio facilities with crew. Electricians in particular? Er..yes...ehuh...well one...one mustn't complain. They do their best to make one comfortable. And as for the work...people seem to be responding rather well, so... Uncle Frank, I look... look forward to your opinion. Thank you. Sometimes one simply has to be firm. Did you miss me? You left your jacket in the cabin. Smelt of you for the longest time. Then one day, I went in there... and all I could smell was Uncle Frank's pipe. Lily... I understand you know, that things have changed. And that I would like to put my name on you. Oh! Johnnie. I wouldn't blame you. Branigan is one in a million. And I'm not much to write on about. Am I? I'm just an everyday sort of bloke. Everyday! ? Everyday for the rest of my life. Good work! Bloody good show! Two shots so far! If this thing is being treated for color, it's going to look marvelous. God! The American's teeth. Can that be real? If the studio shoot goes half as well, this picture is going to be a triumph! There is however, one area of concern. Uh! Memo, please. From American distributors. I'd ask you to absorb what's said without division, Buckley. American picture goers liked to be knocked off their feet. Bangs, crashes, ambulances careeding around corners. The same goes for romance. What you call understatement, translates as a lack of, uhmf... Americans feel that the ending is presently written is too subtly too newses. Restrained. Restrained? I mean it's practically a call to arms! Their concern is more, what one might crudely call... "A love triangle" I've to say as far as the home front goes, we can't let it look as if she rather have the American. Oh! That will be the teat. Teat or no teat, what all parties need... is a morally clean, romantically satisfying resolution. Well perhaps if Mrs.Cole could carry on her good work with Hilliard on set. Buckley and I could tackle the new ending in the office. You'll enjoy the studio. Change of scene. Excellent! Excellent! Stick to the side...slowly forward. Two steps. Look to the side. No. Left side's the camera. The good side. Mr.Ducard. Thank you, please...if you don't mind Ducard. And... Johnnie is hit! Keep it in rear view please. Thank you. Could you move please? Trying to get big boy up there. Sorry. Tea. Anyone for a cup of tea? I played it rather convincing, don't you think? Yeah! You did! Say, are...are those walkcakes? Like to know when it's ready. It's very much on it's way. Only that you keep saying you'll be sendin' over the ending'. It's almost ready. Well... let me know when it is. Goodbye Parfitt. Mrs.Cole Excuse me? I bet...you know! just this way... Cigarette? I've never seen much point in men. Still I do hate to see you plaining. Oh! I'm not plaining. Ellis moved out weeks ago. I'm already used to it. It wasn't Ellis I was thinking of. Forgive me. It's just the...when we were shooting in Devon, you always seemed so... vivid. Perhaps I'm in a sentimental mood. My landlady was killed yesterday, I could hear her husband crying through the wall...all night long. It seems to me when life is so very precarious, it's an awful shame to waste it. I was wondering on page 76, I say... Getting worried. About the ending. Turned Ministry spy now? Is that it? Did I... Sorry! I'm sorry. I didn't mean... Pen perfect? It's not worth it. What do you think? It's not very good. It's very... Buckley. It's not your fault in there. Really isn't. I better go home. So... Exterior train station. A full moon, a clear sky. A man sits by the shore. There has been a quarrel. A woman is walking away from him. Now she turns back. I didn't mean what I just said. And anyway...you said worse. Hm. Declaration... Stupid bloody fool's good. Did you think of that beforehand? Are you trying to put a fight with me Mrs.Cole? No...what I'm trying to say is that, if all of this stopped. The sparring and the jibing, and the insults and the arguments. I'd miss it. Even if I were dead. I'd still miss it. The Catrin Cole school of dialog. On and on and on and on and on. Lose half. Which half? The half you don't need. Alright. Alright. I'd miss you. I miss you more than I can say. You've to take this. Keep going. Mrs.Cole! ? Watch yourself there. Mrs.Cole? Hm? I thought you was under it. I was in the office...hmm. I might have to borrow clothes. Talk to the costumes mistress. But don't be surprised is she tetchy. Parachute line took the roof off studio 4 last night. And have Panzer division uniforms ruined. They are saying it was the worst night to air bombing yet. Nothing left of Wimbledon apparently. The props master hasn't turned up and the best-boy is in the hospital and no one knows where the group is. So we are having to make do with whatever we can get. There'll be tears before bedtime. Mark my words. Can we save that lamp till we roll, please? Sorry Mr.Hilliard. More? Much more. This man hasn't had a bath since last time we fell off the boat. Change of plans. Tool seat from Uncle Frank's meety to fetch Tony windy propeller. Hurry up Rex! We need you over here. Yes sir! Coming as quick as I can. Shouldn't you be at the office? I was. I read your ending. You bagged it. You were almost there. Nowhere near. I've been useless for weeks. Hm? I read the note too. Oh? What did you think? Hm...everything conclusive. And now, when I shut my eyes, I see black. It's not the same as being blind. Would you advise someone who was in the same situation as you to have that surgery? Honestly, I wouldn't recommend it. Why? Because when you live a certain way for so many years, and you're adjusted to life and everything around you, and then all of a sudden there's a change like this, it can make you feel crazy. If people are blind early enough in life, they do in fact lose the ability, or never gain the ability to make sense of the visual world. And we think that perhaps one of the reasons that happens is that the back of the head starts responding to other senses, like audition and touch. It becomes specialized to help blind people make their way through the world using these other senses. That can be a huge problem if sight is ever restored. And maybe putting our efforts into making the world easier for blind people to navigate and be independent in is at least as valid as trying to fix them and be like us. Yeung: Even so, for those desperate to see again, the technology we've developed can be life-changing. Hi. Hi. Can you see me? Yeah. I can see your shape. Hi. How are you doing? Good. We met up with Anthony three months after his implant was turned on, to see how he's adapting. Can you see these people walking past? Yup. That's good. Anthony: I still have to use my cane to navigate, but it does work. I can see you. And I feel more involved in what's going on around me. That was a truck, a big truck, a bus or something. Yeah. Rather than being totally blind, I have, like, visual cues that I didn't have, that I lost years ago. I see it as a start. There's a lot more advances, but until that day comes, you know, this is as good as it gets so I'm, I'm grateful. ♪ ♪ Marijuana legalization is gaining huge momentum across the country. But it isn't just pot smokers who are celebrating. Big business is also investing heavily in this hot new market. And if the current trend in legislation continues, it seems that they're going to realize a huge return on their investment. ♪ ♪ Okay, guys, if this is your first marijuana tour, which I'm assuming it is, thank you for coming to Colorado Cannabis Tours. We're gonna go ahead and get you started with some joints. Morris: This is what the end of marijuana prohibition looks like. Now that marijuana is legal in Colorado, companies like Colorado Cannabis Tours are cashing in on the excitement. $99 for the ticket, $20 for an artisanal pipe, two dollars for the cupcake, Thank you. However much money for the weed they bought at the last location, how much money they're gonna spend at the next location. This is the team building portion of the exercise. If you can help your neighbor light that at the other end. (coughing) Oh! Who's next? We're about to go into a... into a dispensary. Is this it? Is this the... Oh, okay. Okay. I'm off to the dispensary. We are much further along than I ever imagined us to be. Morris: Andrew Freedman is the Director of Marijuana coordination in the Colorado governor's office. Freedman: There are more dispensaries than there are Starbucks. We estimated the size of the industry in its first year to be about 700 million, and now we think it tops one billion dollars as an annual revenue source. What makes this massage different? This massage is different because our massage cream is infused with THC and CBD. All right, I think I'll try the extra strength. Great choice. Is that pressure okay? Yeah. Morris: Maybe it was the extra strength THC oil, but I started to wonder, where is all this weed coming from? I'm standing in what may be Colorado's largest cannabis grow operation. It's so enormous, I can't even see the edges of the room from where I'm standing. Look at what we've created here. I mean, is this something? This is John Seckman, the COO of LivWell. This is the most exciting thing I've ever done. It's a business, and it's a new exciting business. The other thing I'll tell you is I voted against the legalization of marijuana. You voted against the legalization of cannabis? Yes. I figure we have enough vices. One more wasn't gonna make the world any better. Have you tried it? No. Really? Never. And I don't intend to. I couldn't tell you what it tastes like or something special about a certain plant. I just- - You know, it's just not something I understand. It's a product. This is a manufacturing facility. We're not making Ford cars, we're making marijuana. Morris: Companies like LivWell are giving marijuana a corporate makeover, and that has some long-time weed growers on edge. Mike and Wendy have grown pot for decades, and they push for the right to do it legally. But as more big players get into the business, the small-time farmers who started the movement are having trouble competing. Snip out the very tip top of it. What strain is this? This is Purple Train Wreck. This is one that will help your appetite. If we renew our vows at sometime in the future, I'm going to use these as a bouquet walking down the aisle. (laughing) Mike: 1974. That's when I planted my first pot plant. I baby these girls, each and every one of them every year. I mean, look at that thing. Morris: This is enormous. It's over 10-foot tall. It's a massive plant, for sure. You get these big outfits coming in, it's just gonna ruin it for everybody. Like Starbucks. Or Walmart. They move into a city and you can just watch and see how many stores go down. They're going to pull the rug right out from under us, and we're gonna be left flat on the floor. Morris: While farmers like Mike and Wendy are beginning to feel the heat, the big guys are just getting started. We went to Washington to meet the competition. I'm standing outside Privateer Holdings, a cannabis oriented private equity firm that recently received the largest infusion of cash in the history of cannabis. Five years ago, in the cannabis industry there were no leaders, there were no standards. What was lacking were professional, mainstream companies that could change the typical stigma associated with the industry. Morris: I flew with Brendan to his facility in Canada to see what the industry looks like in a country where medical marijuana is legal nationwide. Welcome to Tilray. Morris: Tilray is a 26 million dollar high-tech cultivation facility that's positioning itself to corner the market on weed production. So, they're still, you know, six weeks away from being harvested. How many rooms of this do you have? There's essentially 36 like this. How much does it cost to run all these lights? Annual electrical costs are in excess of two million dollars. This is a vault door similar to a bank vault. It's a solid steel door. All of these materials are essentially ready for sale and distribution. You're starting to see the emergence of mainstream, professional companies that are trying to compete with those illegal producers. That's one of the reasons for ending prohibition. Morris: Legalization's only just beginning, but we're already seeing the effect it's having on small farmers. Jeff and Gwen have been growing marijuana here in Mendocino County for decades. The price of cannabis has plummeted. Morris: But if this is your primary means of income, you must have felt the impact of this price change? Oh, yeah. I used to be able to afford some help in the garden. I cannot afford that now. I would hate to think that all of us who've risked everything paving the way to make the herb available wouldn't have a slot in the future. To me, that would be very sad. Um... But it remains to be seen. Morris: But in some states, the future is already being written. In New York State, medical marijuana was legalized in 2014, but only five companies are allowed to grow and sell it. One of the five permits went to 24-year-old Hillary Peckham of Etain, LLC. We're gonna have about 13,000 square feet of greenhouses in this initial building. Morris: Hillary's dad, John Peckham, is the CEO of a massive construction conglomerate called Peckham Industries. Hillary: My family business is 91 years old. Mostly government contracts, and so we had a lot of experience with how New York government programs work. Could you tell me about the application in detail? Yeah, the application was a $10,000 fee just to submit. And then, as well, $200,000 that you had to submit, but it was refundable if you were not given the license. We expect to probably invest somewhere between six to eight million in the startup period. Morris: You know, a lot of the biggest players right now are people with really serious business backgrounds, and it's made some of the people feel like they're being pushed out of the game, that there's no room for the mom-and-pop grower. It's definitely where the industry is moving, is towards mass consolidation. They're gonna start buying up licenses in other states and just consolidate into one major brand, and so you'll start seeing that as more states come online. Would you sell your company if that became an opportunity? I wanna be one of those companies. Morris: Although it takes a ton of cash to get a license in New York, at least there's an application process. In Ohio, where legalization was on the ballot in November, the corporations tried to choose the winners in advance. Welcome aboard the Green Rush Bus Tour, part of a campaign to convince Ohioans to vote yes on legalization. We're gonna try and legalize marijuana. Morris: This is Buddie, the face of a multi-million dollar endeavor designed behind closed doors to benefit 10 hand-picked investor groups. And as Ohio representative Mike Curtin told us, a plan like this one would set a dangerous precedent. It would create a monopoly in the state constitution by expressly giving 10 owners of 10 sites, 10 farms, essentially, the exclusive, constitutionally sanctioned ability to grow, process, and sell marijuana for commercial purposes. Why do you think they did this? To make a ton of money. This has no place in the Ohio constitution. It has no place in any state constitution. The constitution's supposed to protect all the people. They're trying to protect 10 guys. Morris: And those 10 are the same 10 that put in millions of dollars to fund the campaign. This is a tidal wave moving so fast, it's gonna shock the world to see what the United States just did. Morris: Alan Mooney was one of them. Not one human being on the planet Earth has ever seen a tsunami of this magnitude moving at this speed. That's why Wall Street's still going, "It ain't real. Oh my God, it ain't real." It's the biggest tsunami ever to hit the world, in my lifetime, of money. What about the fact that only 10 growers can participate? People are calling it a monopoly Oh my gosh, this is-- or an oligopoly. To the voting public of Ohio, that makes zero difference to the voter. You know why? They want this 100% controlled and taxed. Then why are they written into the amendment itself? Why isn't it something they apply for like in New York? Would you rather let the politicians make that decision? Sir? Sir? Or would you rather let private capitalists do that? I'm a capitalist. Blue blood. I love America. I love Ohio. I am a capitalist, and I'm not ashamed of it. Morris: The amendment became a flash point in Ohio, and this time, legalization went down hard on election day. Voters here in Ohio overwhelmingly decided against a constitutional amendment to legalize marijuana. The decision came after months of controversy and debate about the group backing the legislation. Morris: But the campaign showed that capitalists like Mooney are trying to call the shots as legalization sweeps the country. Twenty-three states have legalized medical marijuana, and four states plus DC have ended prohibition entirely. At least 21 other states are gearing up to do the same. All this has made marijuana the fastest growing industry in America. And researchers predict that if marijuana's legalized in all 50 states, revenue could reach $35 billion per year. But just like when alcohol prohibition ended, big business is dominating, and small farmers are still being treated like illegal bootleggers. (knocking) Sheriff's office, search warrant! (glass shattering) Demanding entry! Morris: The Humboldt County Sheriff's Department suspected this local farmer had violated state regulation, so they confiscated his entire crop. Profiting from the cultivation of marijuana is illegal. And it's a lot easier to cut down, you know, 130 plants than it is 13,000 plants. This is what was found in this room. Each of these is at least two pounds. Ireland: Who these people are and what kind of lives they live has no factor in what I'm gonna do. 'Cause it's my job. Morris: The property owner, who believed he was following the letter of the law, returned to find his entire garden destroyed. To date, Barry hasn't been charged with any crime. But small farmers like him are easy targets, and they're only one raid away from financial ruin. Barry: I don't understand that. Why me? You know, I'm so small compared to what these other people are doing. You know, it just doesn't make sense to me. Morris: Caught between the machetes of law enforcement and the bank accounts of businessmen, the small-time growers are going to have to fight to survive. I had such a dream of being able to grow legally my whole life. We're kind of hanging on by our fingertips, but we're gonna fight. We're gonna fight for our place all the way to the end. Morris: Will you do it again? I doubt it. I doubt it. It's just, you know, why bother? Previously on X Company... I have a proposition. It's an informal prisoner exchange. It's your son Klaus, he's in a Russian POW camp. I can have him transferred to a Canadian POW camp. I need a man transferred out of the Gestapo HQ in Paris. Go, go, go! _ _ - Do you remember the deal we made? - Short and sweet. No strings. - Anyway, I don't mean to... - No. It was nice. In three weeks, the Allies are mounting an operation on the coast of France. You'll be recruiting Resistance on your own until the troops land in Dieppe. - Please don't let them take me again. - It's all right. I'm right here, my love. _ _ _ _ S02E04 Last Man, Last Round How many guns on this rotation? Eight rifles, three, four, MP-38s. You think Major Stirling is in there? If he survived. Two years since they were captured at Dunkirk. None of them are going to be in good shape. If we're gonna build an army, we've got to start somewhere. Two watch towers. Six hundred feet of exposed no man's land. What about that hill? It's not guarded. It's covered in land mines. So is that path. No problem. What about a blind spot from the tower? - There isn't one. - No time to tunnel under. - Patrols? - Twenty-four hour rotation. - Like a Swiss watch. No gaps. - Efficient bastards. Maybe we don't need to break into the camp. Prisoners are taken out on work detail one block at a time, right? - Same time every day. - An ambush? When guards are vulnerable. It's not like we're liberating the whole camp anyway. Assuming we can get them out, there'll be search parties. They're not in any condition to run for long. I'll need to find a place to hide them. I'll do more recon, map out a route. Gather all the guns - we have. - What can I do? You've been through a lot. Just stay out of trouble. What, am I grounded? I do something wrong? I didn't say you did. - I want to help. - And you can. Someone needs to hold the fort. He'll be all right. We'll look after him. I'll be fine. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Attention soldiers... cut out this paper heart and show your... little heart when you're back on leave in the Fatherland. Pin it proudly to your chest... - and the National Women's... - Alliance... of Patriotic Love will be waiting. - All the wives, sweethearts... - Sisters... sisters of Germany will be offering their... tender services. to... stiffen - your resolve. - Keep your spirits up? Yes, and raise your... big, strong, German... - Flag. - Flag. And all you've got to do is get your heart on. Heart on? You think that'll work in German? We'll drop hundreds of these on the guys in the trenches. You picture your woman back home schtupping some guy, all for the love of the Fatherland? It's a nice kick in the morale. Good. Give me your sketches. Let's get this typed up. What? I'm going to miss this. Are you going somewhere? I've accepted a job offer back home. You're going back into advertising? Head of Morale Ops at the new camp in Virginia. They're looking for Camp X grads to teach there, so... The Americans will be lucky to have you. And no more bad guys to shoot you. I will miss this place. So visit. Could you get those handcuffs off, please? _ Klaus, I'm Duncan Sinclair. I'm Oliver and Billy's father. Do you remember me? Have a seat. How's Bowmanville suit you? Little more comfortable than the Russian camp? Why am I here? - Did my father arrange this? - Now, Klaus, I can't elaborate, for security reasons, but... Our families vacationed on Lake Constance when you were a child. We couldn't keep you kids out of the water that summer, - do you remember? - No. This isn't the same breakfast the other prisoners of war receive. Well, Klaus, Bowmanville's good, but it's not that good. I don't want special treatment. Are you sure... I'd like to be brought back to the barracks. I want to be with my brothers. We shoot the tires. Take out the guards. With machine guns, we won't make it 50 feet. He's right. We don't have the gunpower. Hey! Steady. You all right, mate? Ah! Eric! - Did you see that? - Poor bastard. I don't think the guards did. Eric! Eric! Come on! Oy! You bloody goon! - Whoa, whoa! - You see what you did? - You did this to him! - Alfred! What the bloody hell! He was my brother! You did this to him! Shut your mouth! You make one more sound, I shoot you right there! Get back to work. Schweinhund. Anybody else have a problem? - What are you doing? - Shh. - Who are you? - I'm here to help you. Line up! Pretend I'm him. I'll get him covered. He's lost his mind. What's his name? Lieutenant Eric Darcy. Duke of Cornwall's Light Infantry. Northern English, like you? Yeah. Name? Francis Mather. - Name? - Richard Williams. Name? Lieutenant Danny Simpson. Duke of Cornwall's Light Infantry. Get on the truck. Name? Lieutenant Eric Darcy. Duke of Cornwall's Light Infantry. Back on the truck. Move! - Name? - Christopher Silker. And you let him go? - He didn't ask us? - Why didn't you stop him? Sorry if it didn't occur to me that he would voluntarily run - into a POW camp. - Why would he do that? After what he's been through? Maybe it's not so bad. - Yeah, how's that? - Now we have someone on the inside. If the prisoners know we're trying to break them out during work detail, we'll have a better shot. But when we get them out, where do we hide them? I saw an abbey not far from here. I'll go and make contact and see if they'll take them in. Are you all right? - I'm fine. - There was nothing you could have done. About Alfred running? About René. Nothing any of us could have done. So let yourself off the hook. They got him. Doesn't mean they're going to get Alfred. Let's make sure they don't. This was Eric's bunk. - Are you American? - Any news from England? He's Canadian. And he goes by Eric Darcy now. What happened to Eric? His heart gave out. On work detail. - How far are we into Europe? - I'm sorry. It's not going well. There is no Western front. I am an Allied agent and I need your help. - Is Major George Stirling here? - That's me. It's an honor to meet you. I have colleagues on the outside, right now, helping me plan a breakout. The men who escape with me will help train Resistance fighters from here all the way to the Northern Coast. I'm not risking these men's lives for anything less than a solid plan. If we're gonna turn things around, we need to do something now. You can't just wait here to die. - We're digging a tunnel. - Danny. You can trust me. I broke in for you, didn't I? - We're clearing a foot a day. - When do you expect to finish? Three months, give or take. Then we're all getting out. - We don't have that much time. - Time 'til what? I can't say. But we have weeks, not months. It's an important operation. It could make the difference. We need your most experienced men. Your strongest, to help train civilian recruits. So what's your plan? Next time on work detail I'll give a signal. My team will provide covering fire while we break for the woods. Ahh! They said you told them nothing at the gate. You are a mystery, and I am a curious person. Please. Thank you, Sister. And you, Mother, for agreeing to see me. I'm sorry, but this is a personal matter. Don't worry, there are no secrets here. And, anyway, Sister Marie has taken a vow of silence, so there is nothing to worry about. Please speak freely. I may need your help soon. And I apologize if I'm being presumptuous, but... this is a place of God, and... Yes? If there were any other place my friends could turn, believe me... You need us to hide some people who may or may not be in trouble with the authorities? I'm not sure that they will be free to come. - A very small number of them. - Men? Yes, but only for a short time. I'm so sorry. But I can't. Mother, please! They'll be recaptured in the woods or killed. The Germans are very thorough. Every inch will be searched. These men will be found. When the sisters of the Abbey St. Germain were caught trying to hide refugees, only four Sisters were left alive that night. Barely. I'm so sorry. I will pray for them. For you, in this fight. But I cannot let anything happen to the Sisters in my care. I understand. Thank you. You are very brave. Sister Marie. Please show this young lady out. You're sure about this? We've got a U-boat Commander at Bowmanville. Now, any intel Klaus can get from him - will help with the big Push. - Eyes and ears inside. You think he'll turn just because your family took a holiday years ago? Well, I'm counting on your legendary powers of persuasion, Tom. Does he even remember you? He was a kid. If anything, he'll remember my boys. What else can you tell me? He's a good soldier. He's got a bit of a chip on his shoulder due to the fact that his father's got him some privileges. So he's got integrity? Well, that doesn't help us. He's a pilot. That could help. Guys who work alone are more likely to turn. Start there while you're still on my payroll. You heard. The Yanks had to go through me. I said it was your call. Good luck with Klaus. Why are you following me? Open your mouth, - or I'll open it for you. - I don't speak unless I need to. Why are you following me? I wanted to make sure you are who you say you are. I can help your men. No more than five. - I know a way in. - No. No, your Abbess... - She doesn't need to know. - She said they search every inch. We can't. There are inches Mother doesn't know about. Ladies. Everything all right? Yeah. This is... Sister Marie. - Miri. - Since when do we bring strays home? She's going to help hide our men at the Abbey. Then she should be at the Abbey. Why is she here? She knows our plan. I prefer not to let her out of our sight. We'll need a car or a way to slow the Germans down. The Abbey has a truck. They take it to town on market days. I could "borrow" the keys. When do you need it? Walking freely is a privilege. - Brilliant. - Maybe now you will think twice before attacking. Alfred's going to have to find a way out from the inside. - How? - I don't know. He's going to need our help. Come on. Get to work. You'd think they'd feed you more if they expect you to do all this work. That's what Eric said. He always gave me half his rations. Refused to eat them himself. If he'd eaten more... He's gone. My team must have taken care of it. We're gonna need a new plan. - There's always Death Valley. - No. What's Death Valley? That's Death Valley. - See that door on the other side? - Yeah. It takes you to the front gate. - If that's the only way... - We're completely exposed. Also the barbed wire, searchlights, guard tower. Goons can see everything from up there. We'd be fish in a barrel. It's out of the question. You need to call your people off. We're better off with the tunnel. Your tunnel will take months to finish. You could be relocated before it's ready. But if it works, we can get everybody out. Two hundred of you, running around the forest? No papers, no clothes, no place to hide? You'll be hunted like dogs. Yeah, it's risky. But the truth is, we don't know how long we have left. Eric didn't know. None of us do. You can play it safe, or take the chance and fight now. These are some of the best men I've fought with. We saw thousands die at Dunkirk. Our orders were to hold the line to the last man. And we did. It was a suicide mission. I'm not putting these men through that again. I'm sorry. I can't let them take that risk. I asked to be taken to my POW. Why I am still here? Damn. You know what? I missed lunch. So, do you mind if I...? If you're done? Mmm. Luftwaffe silver clasp. - Sixty missions to get one of those. - I know what you want. Yeah. Gravy. Why would I give information to an office boy? Tell you what. I won't pretend to know anything about you, if you don't assume that you know me. Don't usually flash that on a first date. You ever been shot before? No. It's not much fun. I was, uh, behind enemy lines in France. First, it doesn't feel like anything. Adrenaline's good that way. Then, it was burning. White hot. I was trying to help a family of Jews. Police didn't like that. You know about the Jews? About the Nazi Master Plan? All those trains taking them East every day. They're not being "resettled." They're being exterminated. Five thousand Jews per train. Ten trains per day. You do the math. Your father, he's in charge of running the train schedules for the German Transport Ministry, right? He's very good at his job. Very efficient. How'd you get captured? My plane was shot down. You survived. What about your crew? I always wanted to learn how to fly. Must be something up there. Everything looking so small, like tiny little pieces on a board game. It's not a game. Real men, dying every day. And I'm being moved from camp to camp, for what? - It doesn't make sense anymore. - You won't eat. - Why are you still fighting? - I fight for my country. For my brothers. They are all I think about. Are they even alive? I don't know. Because I'm... Stuck here. Yeah. There's something here. It's from my team. This means the new moon. - The light. - When's that? - Tonight. - And this? It means they can only hide five men. You and four more. *** It's the best chance we have. It's your call. The truck is hidden in the woods. Aurora has the keys. Good. Gun. - Why would I give you a gun? - You need help. I can help. What do you know about guns? You aim and squeeze and your target dies. How do I know I can I trust you? You don't yet. What's going on? These men have experience training soldiers. - You changed your mind? - They saw your gun and your wire cutters. What can I say? Hope is contagious. - But Death Valley... - We have a plan. We, uh... cut the phone cords and the power to the watchtower lights first. - Safer in the dark. - George! Wait. Danny. Danny, I'm sorry, lad, but we can only take five. I want to help. No. Stay inside. Stay safe. Lifted it from the guards' latrine on cleaning duty. What's it for? Protection. I won't allow it. Don't do anything daft, Danny. How long does it take the guards to reach the far side? Two minutes. OK, then. Two minutes from now, we run. Go, go, go. Cut the wire! Hey! What are you doing? _ _ _ Bloody hell. Hey! Hey! Stop right there! _ - Not bad, Sister Miri. - Just Miri. Good to know. Come on! Quickly! Come on! Quick, quick! Go, go, go! Faster, faster! - Come on! - What are they doing? - We can't take them. - They know that. Go, go, go, go, go! - Danny! - Go! Danny! Ah! - Danny! - George, go! - Up! - I said go! Go, go! There they are! Go! Down the road. There's a truck! Go! Go! Right behind you. - Come on! - Ah! This way! Hurry! - Won't they search the Abbey? - Probably. Behind there. Quiet. Hurry. - Bread. - Thank you. - Be safe. - You too. We'll move you when the search dies down. You must go before the Abbess sees you. Come. This way. - Never do that again. - What? You broke rank. You took action with no plan in place. You've never broken a rule to save someone? - Your job is to follow my orders. - Our job is to recruit fighters. We got what we came for. We got lucky. If you want to stay on this team, you can't be so impulsive. - We almost lost you once. - Is that what this is? I survived 37 hours of Gestapo interrogation. That wasn't luck. - Don't make the same mistake twice. - What mistake? Treating me differently. Compromising our objective because of what you feel. - Feel? - For me? You have no idea. Sister Miri, thank you - for all your help. - I want to come with you. I'm not a nun. Mother's been sheltering me here for a month while those pigs are out there. My father taught me to hunt. To be proud. He'd be ashamed to see me now... hiding. Please, let me hunt with you. You've got two more bottles of whisky to get through before midnight. - That is an order. - Yes, sir! Nice work. You got him, Tom. He's not on board with the Fuhrer's policies. But he is a patriot. Loves Germany, loyal to his brothers-in-arms. Dreams of victory. I'm surprised you're considering him. He's a good kid. You never know. - We could get him working for us. - He's about your son's age, isn't he? Yes, Tom. Yes, he is. Sir. I guess this is it. Guess it is. - Stay in touch. - I will. Throw them out of bed at 0300. Interrogation Training. The drunker the better. I'll see to it, sir. Your ticket to Virginia. I remember when that was you guys. Brand new. Excited. Scared. And then half of you don't come back. And we lie to your families about why. Tibor. Charlie. René... I'm glad you'll be going somewhere safe. I'm not great at goodbyes, so... Safe. Sitting at a desk. Moving little pieces across a board game. Tom... There's something I need to tell you. You're going back, aren't you? Yeah. Klaus, we're gonna move you back to Bowmanville. And I wanted to apologize. You're a loyal citizen of Germany, and I can respect that. Sometimes I just don't know when to stop doing my job. Thank you. I wanted to ask... How are they? Ollie and Billy. Oliver was killed last year in action. - I'm sorry. - And Billy... William now... He's missing in the Pacific. I hope he will come back to you soon. I'm sure your father wants the same thing, Klaus, and I wish I could give it to him. But that's not the game, is it? No, it isn't. Thank you. For your kindness. It's the least I could do. Maybe we can talk again. Maybe. - Soldiers are safe for now. - That's great. The Germans searched the Abbey last night. They didn't find them. We shouldn't leave them there too long. We're gonna need a new camp. Somewhere we can bring them longer term. - Yeah. - Varges is close to here. Varges? Yeah, we talked about it. Might be a good place to recruit more locals for the POWs to train. Fine. But when we get the POWs from the Abbey, we'll take Miri too. - Miri, the pretend nun? - She's motivated. She can shoot. And she trailed me through the woods for a half hour before I heard her. None of you can do that. That's all we know about her? Everything else you can learn while you train her. Brilliant. Three weeks till the invasion. Lots of time. Speaking of which, I've been thinking. We're working on the attack, but without defense, it could all be for nothing. What do you mean? We need to know what they know. Which networks are blown, who we can trust. We don't know how much René told them. Counter-intelligence. We need to protect ourselves. Anticipate attacks. - Track his movements. Feed him lies. - And by "him" you mean... Franz Faber. He knows a lot about us. It's time we learned more about him. - We can't get anywhere near the HQ. - No. But maybe we can hit him closer to home. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ - I have no idea what this is. - Really? - Or where it comes from or how old it is, which really is quite bloody strange. But I'll take a shaving and test it later. Come here. I'm glad you're moving on from Anna. - About time. - That's not what's happening here. I still love her. But does she still love you? - Of course she bloody does. - OK. Look, I'm just saying. Sometimes a broken Rolex is just a watch which won't work any more. Right, Confucius. I am aware that my arrival has been the subject of speculation. It's no secret that in this department, in this police force, there have been sins committed and that's why I'm here. And why my predecessor's enjoying early retirement. Now, I'm sure I come with a... ..with a certain reputation. But I like to think I'm fighting on the side of the angels. It's just that I tend to hold a very big stick while I'm doing it. I want London to be proud of this police force... ..and I'll do anything to help make that happen. This is Kayleigh Fenchurch, a former dancer at the Pleasure Palace. Yeah, I know who she is but why is she next to my victim, Freddie Lau? Because she was strangled, too. However, unlike Freddie Lau, Fenchurch has been buried in Thames silt for at least a week now. It's impossible to recover any of the killer's DNA. Lau's casino is less than a mile from the Pleasure Palace. You think we're looking for the same killer? I'm just pointing out the similarities in their deaths. Strangling is not a common MO - Such a clumsy way to kill someone. - What? You have to look them right in the eye for a good three minutes. You really have to hate them. Or love them. - Who's that? - Big-shot gold bullion dealer called Vincent Lermontov. Jumped off his penthouse balcony. Not much left of him. It's gonna take 24 hours to get the DNA they got from Lau's body processed. Harry? Kalim intimated that Freddie Lau was going to be killed. - Kalim, owner of the Pleasure Palace? - Yeah. Fenchurch's boss. He hinted that someone was trying to muscle out Freddie but Freddie wasn't listening. Maybe the two murders are connected. Kayleigh's murder was so precise - no DNA, they drop her in the Thames. Freddie Lau's body is just dumped in an alleyway. It's sloppy. Check out the CCTV in Soho the night Freddie died. We might be able to pick up his movements. I've got a croupier to find. You're a hard man to track down, JC. I need your help with something. Get lost, Harry. It's my down time. - Ah! What the hell are you doing? - I'm your new personal trainer. Ah-ah! The tall guy the other night in the casino, the one that got chucked out - what's his name? - You can't do this, Harry. - This is just a warm-up. What's his name? The one that was screaming for Freddie Lau? All right, stop. His name's Kevin Grey. He used to be on the staff but he got chucked off a couple of months ago. - Why? - I don't know. It's OK. I've got my badges. - Why? - Look, all I know is that... that there was a girl, some stripper who worked in Soho. Freddie Lau stole her from Grey, and Grey went mental. - Kayleigh Fenchurch? - Stop the machine, I'm dying here! Come on. One last push, JC. Huh? He was wearing a barman's outfit when he came in, wasn't he? Try the King's Oak in Chinatown. Cough fit. It's all the rage in LA. I need to see Lily-Anne. - It's not gonna happen, Grey. - Why? What do you mean, why? You're the prime suspect in her father's murder. I need her help to get me out of it. Time is running out for me. Like it was running out for poor Freddie. Either she helps me get out of here or they're gonna catch me. And I will not keep my mouth shut. All right? - There you are. - Thank you, Stan. Kevin Grey is now working in Kinzoku. Lily-Anne Lau's karaoke bar. - Who's that? - No-one. Come on, let's go in. ♪ It was a kind so-so love ♪ But I'm gonna make sure It never happens again ♪ You and I, it has to be The standing joke of the year. ♪ Is this a wake? No. He needs to be in the ground for it to be a wake. This is a celebration. - Do you see Kevin Grey? - No. But I've seen enough. Let's bring her in for questioning. Long time, Harry. Yes, it is, sir. You're about to question a suspect in the Freddie Lau murder. You don't mind if I watch as you interview them? No, I don't suppose I will. I never expected to find you still here, Harry. Forgive if I'm confused, but when we ran into you last night you were having quite the party. The Chinese attitude to grief is very different. Death is part of the wheel of rebirth, the way to enlightenment. So singing '80s classics is your expression of grief? Can I remind you my client has come here of her own free will to help with your inquiry? You're absolutely right and we're very grateful. So, Miss Lau, being so close to your father, you would know about his dispute with Kevin Grey? - You do know Kevin Grey, don't you? - Of course I do. He used to work for my father and now he works for me but I'm not aware of any dispute between them. In fact, it was my father who recommended Grey to me. We were told they'd fallen out over a stripper called Kayleigh Fenchurch. - What? - Her body was found the day before your dad died. We were told Kevin Grey dated her before she left him for your dad. Detective Clayton, I like to think you knew my father very well. He had a girl in every bar in town. It was hard for me to keep track. Is there any reason why you would want to protect Kevin Grey? Not that I can think of. Miss Lau has answered your questions. I'd like to draw this to a close. Miss Lau, I did know your father well. And you know what I smelt on him the last time I saw him? Fear. - Fear? - He knew, didn't he? He knew he was going to be killed. - I don't know what you're talking about. - I think you do. Freddie wasn't a man that scared easily but someone had him on the run. If you say so, Harry. Yet you - you seem completely unaffected through all of this, cool as a cucumber. - Why is that? - I don't like the direction you're taking this. Almost as if you knew you were going to be left untouched. - Unless you charge my client, we are leaving. - What did they promise you? Miss Lau? You're playing a very dangerous game here, Harry. The truth is, you're in no position to be questioning me about any of this. And why is that? - What's that? - What's the matter with it? My father died very soon after he called in your debt, Harry Clayton. And you were there in the casino the night it happened. - So what happened? - I don't know. There was a short-circuit... - I can't believe that. - Suri. Wait. Suri. - It cut out. - What cut out? There was a short - Ben just told me. Everything went down. Why weren't you honest with me? I looked like an idiot in there. - I'm sorry. - How am I supposed to do my job, knowing you were at the casino the night Lau died? - Yeah, I should have told you that. - And yet, once again, you didn't. You're the reason I've got to where I am, Harry. Everything I've learnt has come from you these two years but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you screw it up for me. Detective Superintendent Winter and I couldn't be quite sure who was interviewing who. Yeah, you have to think the way they do. - Should be quite easy for you. - You'd be a smart arse if you were smart. Trouble in the dream team? I should never have bought it for her. It's too big. The bike was fine. She loved it. What? Sit down, Harry. You look thin. - That's a good thing, eh? - No, thin like you're not eating properly. Oh! Yeah, I don't have time to go to fancy restaurants like you. - Are we doing this now? - You were out for a date on our anniversary? ! - How do you know it was a date? ! I just wanted to see you. I haven't asked you if you're seeing anyone else and I'm not going to because I just can't. - He's a friend. - Oh, well... - And a divorce lawyer. - What? - I'm worried, Harry. I don't want to lose anything else after the house. So that's what you were discussing with your friend the divorce lawyer over dinner? - Well, that's very convenient, eh? - You're still gambling, aren't you? What? Aren't you? I'm trying, Anna. Do something about it, Harry. For all of us. Mr and Mrs Clayton? OK? Mr Clayton? There's someone to see you. I'm sorry about your daughter. Is she OK? Yes. How did you know? - How long have you been following me? - A while. - Look, I haven't got much time to explain. It's not safe for me. - What? - Or you. - What are you talking about? I was meant to give it to someone else and he knows you have it, Harry. - Are you talking about the bracelet? - I know you're a good man which is why I gave it to you instead of him but he'll come after you! - Who'll come after me? - The man it was promised to. What is this? Whoever wears the bracelet is endowed with immense luck. - Well, that's shite. - You're already starting to feel it though, aren't you? No, wait, wait, wait. Don't go. It's a balance, Harry. It's yin and yang. Luck like this has its own unique price. - Gold. - Steel. - Gold. Whilst at Cambridge, Sebastian Faulks appeared on what TV quiz? - University Challenge. - Pass. University Challenge. Life On The Mississippi is a memoir by which American author? Mark Twain. You're totally not going to do this. - No idea. Pass. - Mark Twain. What Irish river forms the border of Connacht with Leins? - The Shannon. - That's pretty scary stuff, Suri. - How's Daisy doing? - She's good. She's going to get out soon. - Great. I have something to show you. - Where is this? - The Falconer's Arms, opposite... - The Green Dragon. - The night Lau died. - I'm guessing 5 minutes before he died. - What? - Keep watching. Kevin Grey is walking out that door to kill Freddie Lau. Come on - you have nothing here. So I had a drink with Freddie Lau one evening - so what? This is accessory to murder. No. Harry, I need something here, Harry. Old friend. You've been lying all along about this. I think Kayleigh Fenchurch was murdered as a warning to Lau. Then someone set Kevin Grey on the path to revenge. Someone screwed with his head just enough to make him kill Lau. A nice, neat love triangle - case closed. But that's not what's really happening here, is it, Kalim? So tell me who's pulling your strings? I don't know. You're going to White Cross. - Give me those. - No, no, please, please, please. - I know where he's going to be. - Who? Kevin Grey. If Grey moors up the boat here at the end of the runway, in theory, he could just walk onto a plane. - What's the flight schedule tonight? - I'll get on it. Don't let me keep you, DS Chohan. - How's Anna? - She's good. Ran into her last month at the Old Bailey. She was on terrific form. Tore the case apart. Told me she'd finally left you. - We're working things out. - She may be but not you, Harry. I want DI Orwell kept up to date on everything to do with the Lau case. You're gonna both be running it from now on. OK? Mm-hm. No sign of Grey's boat. Clear line of sight to the harbour entrance. - How many flights are left after this one? - Er, two. Athens and Paris. The first two cities to host the Olympics. Where does your freakish general knowledge come from? My dad used to sell encyclopaedias, until the internet came along. Harry, speedboat approaching from the harbour entrance. Over. Copy that. Why did you let one of DI Orwell's stooges in on this? I thought you and Ben were finally getting it together. We're still working it out. Oh, he's a good cop, apparently. It's just a shame that Orwell got him. - How do you ever know? - Know what? - If someone's right for you? - I don't know why you're asking me. I, er, suppose you just do. But when you do, make sure you hold onto it. - Approaching now. - Copy that. Wait till he's past the jetty then head in with the light on. What's he doing? Oh, Jesus. Police! Stop! Kevin Grey, on your knees now. Ben! Grey! Put your weapon down. You're surrounded. They set me up! Rrar! Let's go. Go, go, go. - Are you OK? - Yeah. - Ben, are you hit? - No. I'm fine. Follow us in the car. Get support. Do you know what you're doing, Harry? Hold on tight. Screen's up, sir. God, don't let Clayton be driving. Harry, stay back! Get down. Slow down! Jesus! Give him room! Harry! I see it. Give me machete. - What's the simple solution to the Fenchurch and Lau murders? - Kevin Grey killed them both. Kevin, don't. Hey! Hey! Oh, Lily-Anne! - You think I killed Freddie Lau? - You certainly had the motive. Follow the lady! Luck like this has a price. Do something good with it. ♪ Be patient with your life now Careful with your pride ♪ Hold tight This could be a wild ride ♪ It could be a late night ♪ And who knows where it ends ♪ Our lives, it's the one that died It's just a guessing game ♪ Who'll end up the underdog And who's gonna be the lucky one? ♪ Subtitles by Ericsson. Sync by menoyos. (CAMERA CLICKS) (VOICES ON POLICE RADIO) MAN: And it is all my fault. I am truly lucky in that sense too. As Penelope once said to me, in those final days, "You're only as rich as you feel." So... Save me from this. Chiswick, please. - OK, love. - (SHE GASPS) Hammer time! If I was you, Harry, I'd fold while I still have some bus fare left. All in. Turn them over, big lad. Shame. I was hoping to take that shirt off your back. This game is over for you, Detective. MAN: He lost it all again? People don't gamble because they want to win. They gamble because, secretly, they want to lose but with you... (LAUGHS) it's not even a secret. That's very poetic, Freddie. You should write it down. I don't want someone like you to owe me this much money. Believe me, Freddie, we're agreed on that. Shut up and listen, Harry! Your debt is useless to me. I can't sell it on. No one will touch you. So I'm calling it in. - What? - You have three days. You do realize that's a completely insane request? What's going on, Freddie? OK. Take this as a down payment. You must know some powerful people in your line of business. You should ask for a favor. He's arrived then, eh? The new DSI? Yeah. I worked with him a long time ago. Interesting guy. Long night? No, no. I turned in early. I was whacked. What's Orwell got? Body dragged out of the Thames. Young woman. No ID yet. You didn't really have an early night at all, did you? You don't have an off button, do you, Suri? I just believe in the redemptive power of sleep. Clears out the molecular garbage in our brains. Molecular garbage? Jesus. What if I fall asleep and all the good stuffs taken away instead? They'd have to find it first. I am your superior, you know that? Harry, why don't you just stop gambling? Look, I have patches for my addictions. They have patches for porn? Why are you really here? You're making my girls nervous. I want to know what has spooked Freddie Lau. Why has he called in my debt? - Belshazzar was the king of Babylon. - Here we go. A man of immense wealth and power with many scary friends. Just like Freddie Lau? One evening, he holds a fabulous feast for them all. But during the feast, Belshazzar notices a hand come down from the heavens and starts writing on the wall. - It predicts... - Belshazzar's own death. So, what, you're saying that someone's threatening to kill Freddie Lau? Why else would Lau be planning to sell up and leave London? Ah, come on, Kaleem. Freddie Lau would never let anyone muscle him out. You're not telling me something. Come on, leave now. I have to watch my girls like a hawk. Oh, did that um... missing stripper of yours ever turn up? - What was her name? - Kayleigh Fenchurch. Some of my colleagues fished a girl out of the Thames yesterday. - Matched her description. - Well, I hope and pray it's not her. I have so few quality girls left. Oh, um... How long did Belshazzar last? Till the end of the night. (CLEARS THROAT) The prosecution have painted the defendant as a jealous ex-husband, as a cruel man with a vicious temper. A ticking emotional time bomb just waiting to go off. I like paintings, but pretty as they are, they have absolutely no place in a court of law. (SIGHS) It's been a very long trial, hasn't it? Let me give you the good news. This is the last speech you will hear on this case. I just want to focus on one word. Doubt. (CHEERING) BARRISTER: See you on Monday. I'll catch up with you later. Harry! You... I... Were we supposed to meet today? - No, no. I was just passing. - Oh. Um... You were very impressive in there. The faces on the cops said it all. Yeah, well, they've been an absolute joke. Shit, sorry. They're probably your friends. No. Anyway, uh... So I can still have Daisy this weekend if that's OK? No, that's great. But you could have called to tell me that, so why are you really here? Well, I just wondered if you, you know, fancied a drink or a bite to eat tonight? Um... I... I can't. I'm... I'm having dinner with someone. OK. Cool. Yeah. Have a good night. Happy anniversary, Harry, You too. What the hell are you doing here, Harry? I've come to win my money back off you. You're deluded. Fortune favors the brave. If fortune favored you, you wouldn't be drinking here alone. So why don't you have a drink with me, Freddie? Unburden yourself. Take your hands off me, Harry. Do you mind? (MAN SHOUTS) Look at me! I need your help. I need to talk to Freddie! Look, Kayleigh's gone, JC! She's disappeared! She's gone! Listen to me. JC, look at me! CROUPIER: Wheel spinning. No more bets, please. - (BALL ROLLS) - CROUPIER: Black as. All the way to hell. That's a long way to go on a Monday night. CROUPIER: Wheel spinning. You should try the corners. No more bets. (BALL ROLLS) - CROUPIER: Red three. - (LAUGHS) May I? Sure, yeah. I need all the luck I can get. Yeah, I can see that. You know, luck's a revolving door. You just need to know when it's your turn to walk through. CROUPIER: Wheel spinning. Is there a significant number for you tonight? Play the whole lot. What have you got to lose? Ten to the max. No more bets, please. Black ten. Jesus Christ! (LAUGHS) Do it again, Detective Clayton. - What did you just say? - The same number again. CROUPIER: Wheel spinning. Another ten to the maximum. No more bets, please. (WOMAN LAUGHS LOUDLY) (LAUGHTER) Let me help you. Where did it all go wrong? I can't believe what just happened. What if... luck is something you can own? What? What... VOICEMAIL: You have two new messages. First new message. SURI: Jesus Christ, where are you, Harry? A body's been found in Chinatown and we're on call. VOICEMAIL: Message deleted. Next new message. SURI: Harry, call me back. VOICEMAIL: Message deleted. End of messages. (TIRES SCREECH) Excuse me. Suri. (SIGHS) DI Orwell's here. Why? Our new chief called him in when you didn't answer any of my calls. That's grand. Listen, Harry. I deleted your text from his phone before Orwell got here. - What? - Harry! You look like shit. What were you up to last night? Getting lucky. We think this is Freddie Lau. Owner of the London Green Dragon Casino. DI Clayton knows who he is. Come on, Ben, let's give Harry some room, shall we? - Do you want some notes, Chohan? - Sure. I need a laugh. - HARRY: Strangled? - Yeah. Lau's PIN was one-two-three-four. Why are you texting a dead man, Harry? This is not going to affect our investigation. - No. That's not good enough. - You have to trust me on this, Suri. Jesus, Harry, we can't investigate a murder if you're considered a suspect. You know I'm not a suspect. No cameras. It's the perfect spot. See if you can track down Lily-Anne Lau, his daughter and heir. (WHISTLES) Harry, wait. I need more. I just crossed a pretty scary line for you. You owe me a proper explanation. I owed Freddie Lau money. Gambling debts from his casino. But this has got nothing to do with me. I don't care how you get your kicks, Harry. But if I'm going to have your back, I need to know it's coming from the right place. (BUZZER) It's Harry. (BUZZER) - Hello, Josie, is he in? - Mmm. Harry's here. JOSIE: Napoleonic. Used by a marshal in the 1806 war against Prussia. Me and your brother fired them on the heath last night. Half-brother. Is this official or unofficial? You better come in. 70 grand. I need you to um... look after it for a while. Who does it belong to, Harry? - It was in transition. - From you to... A man who died this morning. I won it last night at his casino. You owed him this much money? - Double it. - Harry! - Don't start with me. - You need to get a grip on this. How does a man who spends all his time fighting the bad guys get into so much trouble with his own side? Hmm? - Thank you, Rich. - Pleasure. Here. Look, um... There's something else. What? Will you have a look at this? (LAUGHS) I didn't take you as the bangle type, Harry, but then jewelry creeps up on the best of us. - Where did you get this? - It's hard to explain. A woman? - You dark horse! Take it off. - I can't. - Well, let me try. - I've tried. It won't come off. Well, how did you get it on in the first place? - I haven't a baldy. - Wow, that must have been some night. Right... - I have no idea what this is. - Really? Or where it comes from or how old it is. Which really is quite bloody strange. But I'll take a shaving and test it later. Come here. I'm glad you're uh... moving on from Anna. It's about time. Whoa, whoa. That's not what's happening. I still love her. But does she still love you? Course she bloody does. OK. Look, I'm just saying. Sometimes a broken Rolex is just a watch which won't work anymore. Right, Confucius. MAN: I am aware that my arrival has been the subject of speculation. It's no secret that in this department, in this police force, there have been sins committed. And that's why I'm here. And why my predecessor's enjoying an early retirement. - Now I'm sure I come with a... - (DOOR OPENS) With a certain reputation. But I like to think I'm fighting on the side of the angels. It's just that I tend to hold a very big stick while I'm doing it. I want London to be proud of its police force. And I'll do anything to help make that happen. (DOOR OPENS) This is Kayleigh Fenchurch. Former dancer at the Pleasure Palace. Yeah, I know who she is, Doug. Why's she next to my victim, Freddie Lau? Because she was strangled too. However, unlike Freddie Lau, Fenchurch has been buried in Thames silt for at least a week now. Impossible to recover any of the killer's DNA from her body. Freddie Lau's casino is less than a mile from Pleasure Palace where Fenchurch worked. You think we're looking for the same killer? I'm just pointing out similarities in their deaths. Strangling is not a common MO. HARRY: Such a clumsy way to kill someone. What? You have to look them right in the eye for a good three minutes. You really have to hate them or love them. HARRY: Who's that? Big-shot gold bullion dealer called Vincent Lermontov. Jumped off his penthouse balcony. Not much left of him. It's going to take at least another 24 hours to get the DNA they got from Lau's body processed. SURI: Harry? Kaleem intimated that Freddie Lau was going to be killed. - Kaleem, owner of the Pleasure Palace? - Yeah. Kayleigh Fenchurch's boss. He hinted that someone new was trying to muscle out Freddie - but Freddie wasn't listening. - Maybe the two murders are connected. Yeah, but Kayleigh Fenchurch's murder was so precise. You know, no DNA, they drop her in the Thames. Freddie Lau, his body's just dumped in an alleyway. Sloppy Check out the CCTV in Soho on the night Freddie died. Might be able to pick up his movements. I've got a croupier to find. (PANTING) You're a hard man to track down, JC. I need your help with something. Get lost, Harry, this is my downtime. (yells) What the hell are you doing? Did I not tell you? I'm your new personal trainer. - Please! - Ah-ah! The tall guy the other night in the casino. The one that got chucked out. What's his name? - You can't do this, Harry. - This is just the warm-up. What's his name? The one that was screaming for Freddie Lau? Alright. Alright. Stop. His name's Kevin Grey. He used to be on the staff. He got chucked off a couple of months ago. - Why? - I don't know. It's OK, I've got my badges. Why? Look, all's I know is that... is that there was a girl between them. Some stripper who worked in Soho. Freddie Lau stole her from Grey and Grey went mental. - Kayleigh Fenchurch? - Jesus, Harry, stop the machine! - I'm dying here, come on! - Come on, one last push, JC. He was wearing a barman's outfit when he came in, wasn't he? Try Kinzoku in Chinatown. (GROANS) (PANTS) Cuff-Fit. All the rage in LA. Need to see Lily-Anne. - It's not gonna happen, Grey. - Why? What do you mean, why? You're the prime suspect in her father's murder. I need her help to get me out of here. Time is running out for me. Like it was running out for poor Freddie. Either she helps me get out of here or they're gonna catch me and I will not keep my mouth shut! Alright? - There you are. - Thank you, Stan. Kevin Grey is now working in Kinzoku. Lily-Anne Lau's karaoke bar? SURI: Who's that? No one. Come on, let's go in. (MUSIC PLAYS) # It was a kind of so-so love # And I'm gonna make sure it never happens again it You and I, it had to be I? The standing joke of the year... - Whoo! - Is this a wake? No. He needs to be in the ground for it to be a wake. This is a celebration. - Do you see Kevin Grey? - No. But I've seen enough. - Whoo! - Let's bring her in for questioning. Long time, Harry. Yes, it is, sir. I hear you're about to question a suspect in the Freddie Lau murder. You don't mind if I watch as you interview them? No, I don't suppose I will. I never expected to find you still here, Harry. Forgive me if I'm a little bit confused here but when we ran into you last night, you were having quite a party. The Chinese attitude to grief is very... different. Death is pan of the wheel of rebirth. Away to enlightenment. So singing '80s classics is your expression of grief? LAWYER: Can I remind you my client has come here of her own free will to help with your inquiry? You're absolutely right and we're very grateful. So, Miss Lau, being so close to your father, you would know about his dispute with Kevin Grey. You do know Kevin Grey, don't you? Course I do. He used to work for my father and now he works for me. But I'm not aware of any dispute between them. In fact, it was my father who recommended Grey to me. We were told they had fallen out over a stripper called Kayleigh Fenchurch. What? Her body was found the day before your dad died. We were told Kevin Grey dated her before she left him for your dad. Detective Clayton, I like to think you knew my father very well. He had a girl in every bar in town. It was hard for me to keep track. ls there any reason why you would want to protect Kevin Grey? - Not that I can think of. - Miss Lau has answered your questions. - I'd like to draw this to a close. - You're right, Miss Lau. I did know your father and you know what I smelt on him the last time I saw him? Fear. - Fear? - He knew, didn't he? He knew he was going to be killed. - I don't know what you mean. - I think you do. Freddie wasn't the son of man that scares easily but someone had him on the run. - If you say so, Harry. - Yet you... You seem completely unaffected through all of this. Cool as a cucumber. Why is that? I don't like the direction you're taking. Almost as if you knew you were going to be left untouched. - If you're not charging my client... - What did they promise you, Lily-Anne? You're playing a very dangerous game here, Harry. The truth is, you're in no position to be questioning me about any of this. And why is that? (ELECTRICAL CRACKLING) Sir? What's the matter with it? My father died very soon after he called in your debt, Harry Clayton. And you were there, in the casino, the night it happened. SURI: So what happened? BEN: There was a shod and the screen jumped. - SURI: I can't believe that. - Suri. Wait. Suri... - It cut out. - What cut out? There was a shod. Ben just told me. Everything went down. (SIGHS) Why weren't you honest with me, Harry? - I looked like an idiot in there. - I'm sorry. How am I supposed to do my job knowing you were at that casino the night Lau died? - Yeah, I should have told you that. - And yet once again, you didn't. You're the reason I got to where I am, Harry. Everything I've learnt has come from watching you these two years, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you screw it up for me. Detective Superintendent Winter and I couldn't be quite sure who was interviewing who. You have to think the way they do. Should be quite easy for you. You'd be a smartarse if you were smart (LAUGHS) ORWELL: Trouble in the dream team? (BANG) I should never have bought it for her. It's too big. The bike was fine. She loved it. Come on! ANNA: Sit down, Harry. You look thin. That's a good thing, eh? No, thin like you're not eating properly. Oh. Yeah, I don't have time to go to fancy restaurants like you. - Are we going to do this now? - Good night for a date. - Our tenth anniversary. - How do you know it was a date? I just wanted to see you. I haven't asked you anything about whether or not you're seeing anyone else and I'm not going to, Harry, cos I just can't. He's a friend. - Oh... - And a divorce lawyer. - What? - I'm worried, Harry. I don't want to lose anything else after the house. So that's what you were discussing with your friend the divorce lawyer over dinner? That's very convenient for him, eh? - You're still gambling, aren't you? - What? Aren't you? I'm trying, Anna. Do something about it, Harry. For all of us. WOMAN: Mr and Mrs Clayton? OK? WOMAN: Mr Clayton? There's someone to see you. I'm sorry about your daughter. Is she OK? Yes. How did you know? How long have you been following me? Awhile. I haven't got much time to explain. - It's not safe for me here. - What? - Or you. - What are you talking about? I was meant to give it to someone else, and he knows you have it, Harry. - You're talking about the bracelet? - I know you're a good man, which is why I gave it to you instead of him but he'll come after you. - Who'll come after me? - The man it was promised to. What is this? Whoever wears the bracelet is endowed with immense luck. - Well, that's shite. - (WOMAN LAUGHS) You're already starting to feel it, though, aren't you? No. Wait, wait, wait. - do it, twinkie! come on! do it again! come on, twinkie! do it! do it! [all cheering] yeah, twinkie! yeah! - i'm starting to feel a little loose. - come on, twinkie! come on! do it! come on! do it, twinkie! do it! [crowd cheers] - all right. finally you take me somewhere good. - * joyful, all ye nations rise * join the triumph of the skies * - here. drink. - no, thank you. i don't drink. - you don't drink? ! everybody drinks. look. how do you think, you know, people are gonna... get together? - [scoffs] - oh, god. don't tell me you haven't done that, either. - let's just drop it. - no. unh-unh. how are old are you -- like 16? - 17. - 17? okay, you need to loosen up. i had my first baby at 15. drink now. - but there are rules. - rules-schmools. it's a flipping party. look. - * veiled in flesh, the godhead see * - [hiccups] - [snorts] - that wasn't so bad! [giggles] i kind of liked it. - well, breaking the rules is always better than not breaking the rules. - mmm. - * hark the herald angels sing - hey! what? come here. - oh! yeah! yeah! oh! - you know, i don't remember jake being so romantic, 'cause i love to be romanced. - are you loving my loving? mm. - but wait. but do you have a condom? - that ain't gonna happen twice. - [scoffs] randy. i should have known. - what about jake -- the father of your son, the guy whose room you're in? - dang. jake ain't nothing but a paintballer -- no future and currently dead, by the way. kind of sad, though. he didn't shoot blanks. - [gasps] you're useless! - geez, i was just having fun. i'm gonna get a refill. [door creaks] - you guys seen randy? [toilet flushing] excuse me. oh, my god! ohh! what is that? - it's pizza with a hint of hard-boiled egg. - that's disgusting. - i don't know whether to be grossed out or hungry again. - okay, you have serious problems. look, have you seen randy? me and him are supposed to hook up. - no. - have you seen randy? - excuse me. y-you can see me? - well, yes. if you're standing right there, i can see you. - what? no. no. how did that happen? - have you seen him or not? - i, um -- no, i haven't. - have another drink, why don't you? - i think i will. [knock on door] - randy? - pam. - randy? randy? [rock music plays] - come with me and party! - * on the 12th day of christmas, my true love sent to me * * 12 drummers drumming, 11 pipers piping * * 10 lords a-leaping, 9 ladies dancing * * 8 maids a-milking, 7 swans a-swimming * * 6 geese a-laying, 5 golden rings * * 4 calling birds, 3 french hens * * 2 turtledoves * and a partridge in a pear tree * - mm. - i thought you were my friend. - oh, hey, pammy. uh, we was just looking for you. - yeah, looks like it. - pam, where have you been? - thanks a lot, cind. i mean, having jake and a baby isn't enough? you just got to have it all, don't you? you know something? you just -- you suck as a friend a-and as a mother and -- and -- and -- well, you just -- you plain suck! ah! - that was kind of harsh. - ew. - [coughs, gags] - oh, wow. you had eggs, too. - get away from me. i want to be alone. - okay. - i'm gonna be in so much trouble. i suck at being a ghost! [crying] - hey, can we get out of here? this party blows. - you, cindy wegman, are a bad, bad person. - what? i didn't do nothing. - i was supposed to teach you something about yourself, and i failed! - [scoffs] hey, everybody fails, okay? that's life. - you didn't learn poop from me! you're hopeless! ohh. oh, god. i need a bathroom. - i didn't do nothing. everybody fails. - mom, come on. wake up, mom. - what? - mom, there's someone here -- - harley? look at you all grown up. - mom? - hi. whoa. [clears throat] whoa. i need to slow my roll. i was just dreaming up a storm last night. - there's someone here from social services. you got to talk to her and make her think you're a fit mother. - a fit mother? you don't think i'm a fit mother? - well... - come here. i know i might not always act right, but you know i'm always gonna be there for you no matter what, right? - right. just... here. look. [sighs] here. put this on. - geez. [sighs] - come on. - hello? hello? who's there? [gun pops, thud, baby coos] - decorating. - [sniffs] [gun cocks] - nice shot, little man! - [laughs] - so sorry about the mess, but we were not expecting company. - amanda jones, department of children and family services. quite a place you have here. do you mind if i look around? - oh, absolutely not. please, mrs. jones, have a look-see. [dogs barking in distance] - yep. that right there is pure gold. that's a real lock of constantine's hair -- the lead singer. god rest his soul. yeah, i probably would've sold you one night, harley, just to be with him, hmm? why is she jotting that down? - [sighs] - where are you going? - to talk with tim in town. - what? now? - yeah, i promised uncle bob. - i'll drive you. - mom, i told uncle bob -- - i don't care. please don't leave me alone here with her. - these bullies are hassling tim again, and just because someone had him kick them in the nuts. - well, that's not my fault! it's his dingdong haircut and his silly eyeglasses that make him get in trouble! - mom! - oh, you know what i mean. come on. i'm your mother, and you're staying right here. damn kids! - dang kids. - da-- dang kids. [chuckles] yeah, they're always listening to their friends and not their parent. - it, um, appears the only items you have in your refrigerator are two cans of cheese-please and a liter of pop? - yeah, it's -- it's grocery day. - it's grocery day! it's grocery day. look, i know these kids. they -- they eat a full balanced diet 'cause they're still growing and crap, so... - oh. so you do have a job? - no! working's for suckers! - [chuckles] - skoal! - i'm, actually -- um, i'm, like, in this transitional phase right now. - i've seen enough. [door creaks] uh, who is she? i-i don't have her on my list. - oh. um, she ain't really mine. see, her daddy is my friend with benefits. so she just comes around here sometimes. - right. hmm. well, it's been a pleasure. - oh. thank you. so, we cool here? - based on my evaluation, you don't meet the minimum requirements for the department of child care. - what? what does that mean? - we'll be in touch. - let me see that. - that is confidential! - you still got to take me to town. - no, i can't go dressed like this. get in there. [car engine turns over] - cindy, what are you doing here? - don't you "cindy" me, you back-stabbing son of a bitch! - language! - or was it you, marge? - what is this all about? - what's this all about? ! your lard of a wife called the government people on me to take my kids away! - i am big-boned, and that is the way god made me. - marjorie? - i was doing my civic duty. - the kids could use a little more stability, cind. - oh. what kind of a person doesn't want their own mother to be with their kids? ! - cindy, you don't deserve those kids. you need to take a good long look at yourself. you rely on everybody to do things for you. you know, your kids don't even expect christmas presents this year from you because they know that, if you had one cent, you'd spend it on yourself, or you'd put it in some stupid scheme that doesn't pay off. and on top of that, my little timmy has a black eye for the christmas portrait this year because harley was too busy saving your butt, instead of walking him home from town. and i'm sorry i said "butt." okay? don't say that. mommy is mad. - bob! are you gonna say anything? ! - she does have a point, cind. - [scoffs] fine. fine. [sighs] you know what? i don't need any of you guys, okay? and, peepers, i'm really sorry about your eye. - is aunt cindy mad at me? [door slams] - it's okay, honey. just -- just eat. let's just wash the day off of us, okay? none of this happened. [siren wailing] - [sighs] hey! what are you doing here? - oh, uh... nothing. i'm just -- um, just, uh, cutting school. - oh! well, you seen wayne? - no. why -- why would i have seen wayne? - 'cause he works here. - well, um... yeah. no, i... i haven't seen him. - okay. cool. there you are, my little worker bee. - hey, baby. - hi. hope you don't mind, but i charged a few things on your account. - [sighs] hey, wink. can i have a sec? - yeah. - hi, wink. - hey. [chuckles] hit... and run. - i don't know, cind. we got to watch the spending. and these scratchers? - well, what if we won, though? - and donkey soap? - no, it's supposed to be really good for your face. cleopatra used it. wayne, you have your whole college fund to fall back on. [chuckles] come on. - my mama and daddy saved up that money so i could have a life outside of the trailer park. - well, what's wrong with the trailer park? - nothing. - do you love me, or don't you? - of course i do. that's why i'm still here. - well, if you're still here, then let's make the most of it, right? can you do me a favor before you get off? - what? - [sighs] apparently, the kids should eat more than just cheez whiz. can you pick up some food? thank you. you're the best. - [sighs] [drops clipboard] - [gasps] [chuckling] oh, my... oh, my rock goodness! [heroic rock music plays] - [echoing] i am your ghost of christmas present. - hi! [giggles] - it's okay. you can touch. - [gasps] i can't believe you died at the end of your christmas video. that must have really sucked. - no worries. even the ladies up there love the rock gods. you know what i mean? - yeah. [giggles] - you'll see when you get up there... which is gonna be pretty soon. - oh. yeah, yeah. i heard. well, yeah, i ain't living so good, but what are you gonna do? - i'll show you. - okay. - let's get this party started. [christmas carol playing] - we've already done this one. - things aren't always what they appear. - what a double-crosser! pam and randy? ! he's supposed to be back in town to see me. - let's just see how this plays out. - ugh. - you want me to give you a tour? - i want a tour of the inside. - oh. he don't need a damn tour. he's been here a million times. - i'm not a psychic or anything, but... i don't think she's gonna give him a tour -- not of the house, anyway. - okay, i need a drink. - christmas time -- everybody needs a drink. i'll take a cool one. - here you go. - salud. - i'm pissed. - salud. [crowd cheering] - * on the 12th day of christmas, my true love sent to me * * 12 drummers drumming, 11 pipers piping * * 10 lords a-leaping, 9 ladies dancing * - brandie! - * 7 swans a-swimming, 6 geese a-laying * * 5 golden rings - they grow up so fast these days, don't they? - what is she doing here? - i wonder where she gets it. - * and a partridge in a pear tree * [cheering continues] [both giggling] - [clicks tongue] [laughs] - hey, i still got it. - [chuckles] - we still got it. - you know, i cannot believe that dirty ho is sleeping with my man. - [chuckles] i thought wayne was your man. - that's not the point, okay? dang ghosts are screwing up my life. [scoffs] what's the world coming to? this is my mama's place. [urinating] hey! loser! go drain it somewhere else! - so you do care a little bit -- a very little bit. - what? no! i didn't ask my mama to leave me this place. - so why didn't you sell it? - 'cause. - 'cause why? - 'cause i just didn't, okay? kind of makes me think about my mama sometimes. - what'd you say? i couldn't hear you. - i said it kind of makes me think about my mama sometimes -- big, fat, hairy deal. - let's go. - oh, come on. like i don't see this [chuckles] guy enough every day. - all right. i got you. you're looking for something adventurous and sexy, right? i got you this sporty model -- very popular, top-of-the-line. - it is a beautiful machine. - oh, yeah. - but i'm looking for something a little more family-oriented. - oh! got you! little lady prego, huh? huh? - uh, no. no. - [chuckles] - but i have plenty of cash for a down payment, so... - ohh! what an idiot! who tells a car salesman they have a pocket full of cash? - but did you notice he was looking for something "family-oriented"? [indistinct haggling] does it matter that you're not in love with him? - you said it -- cash, tax. - okay, next. - is that all you got to say? - she is a grown woman. she's not a child. timmy, on the other hand, is your child. - but she is my sister. - i know you don't unders- oh! i don't what? i don't understand? i have siblings, too, but they're adults, and they can take care of themselves. - well, maybe you're right. - she has to fail. she has to learn to fail. - i can't believe she's getting to him. - but christmas will not be the same without them! - no, it won't. no, it won't. we won't have to watch a picnic full of people eating roast beef and gravy with their fingers and then taking the bottom of their shirts and wiping their mouths. and then to top it all off, the burping and the farting that happens -- it makes the dog walk away, it's so disgusting! - okay, okay. last year was pretty bad -- i admit it. - yes, it was pretty bad. it was a white trash christmas. i hate saying that, but it was a white trash christmas, and i am not having that again this year. - okay, so you're saying you're not gonna have them here? - i am saying that, bob. i am saying that. look at this. huh? - ugh. - that is a symbol of status and achievement and class -- something your sister will never know anything about. and if she was smart -- and we know she's not -- she would take that stupid hammered gold record and sell it and sign the beauty shop over to us. - "stupid record's" uncalled for. - okay, i cannot do this anymore. i cannot do this anymore. - what? ! honey! what? ! - i've had it. - what are you doing? ! - look, we need you. but we need 100 % of you. - you've got it! - no, we don't. - baby, please, don't -- - come on. - don't go. i'm -- i'm begging you. - looks like he loves her to me. - [sighs] that is pathetic, bob! - we're gonna go stay with my parents for a while. - it's christmas. - that is so wrong. she knows how bad bobby felt when our daddy left us on christmas. - i don't want to leave! i want a christmas here with everybody! - honey, it's okay. just come. - i don't want to go! [sniffles] - we're just gonna go with grandma and grandpa for a little while and have christmas over there. you got to make a choice -- it's either her or me. [door closes] - so, are we done? - almost. - well [chuckles] there ain't nothing here at the dollar king that i don't know about. - are you sure about that? 'cause if you're sure about that, i'll make you a wager. - oh, yeah? and what do i get if i win? - i'll leave you alone. - hmm. and what do you get if you win, which you won't, but what do you get? - you get cleaning supplies, and you clean up your mom's old salon. - that's it? just clean up her salon and not actually work there? - that's up to you. - deal. [spits] well, if you don't shake, then how are you gonna know i'm not gonna keep my word? - i trust you wouldn't break your word with the one and only constantine. - you're probably right. i probably won't. [chuckles] see? i knew harley skipped school! [sighs] - maybe he was lying. - lying? harley don't lie to me. - take a closer look and think really hard. - okay. - it's christmastime. school is out. it's 9:00 p.m. at night. - wow. yeah, i guess you're right. i wonder why harley would have lied about skipping school. - well, maybe... he's hiding something. - huh. harley has a shirt with his name on it? ! he has a job! that little bastard. - literally. - hey. what does he need money for? i mean, if he has a job, then i should be getting... - you should ge getting what? - well, i should just know about it because he's my son, and i should know about everything that he's doing. - mm-hmm. so if you knew about this job... you wouldn't buy all that needless crap on his credit account, ask him to bring home pop, cheez whiz, and lotto tickets? that wouldn't happen? - [sighs, taps foot] - ah, champ. they got you stacking toilet paper. - merry christmas, uncle bob. and i'm... [sighs] i'm sorry about tim's black eye. - oh, he'll be fine. i'm not too merry, though. marge left me. - how come? - oh, it's nothing. she'll be back... i hope. anyway, i'm here for you. is this what you wanted? - yeah. thanks for doing this, uncle bob. i mean, they wouldn't send the bill out to a kid. - hey, champ, you don't have to do this. - um, i know, but... i kind of have to. thi-- this is like the whole check. - yeah. let me take - no. no, uncle bob. i... [sighs] i need to take care of us. - all right. you endorse it right here and sign it right to the dwp. - well, i guess that's why the power didn't get turned off last month. [chuckles weakly] hey. - i'm proud of you, champ. you're becoming quite the little man. uh, i-i mean big man. - thanks, uncle bob. - all right. let's get out of here. it's christmas eve. - so that how the electric bill was paid last month. - cindy, where did you come from? - i was just here. i was shopping around. so why'd you -- uh... why'd you get a job? [chuckles] - i mean, the bills had to get paid somehow. - well, you shouldn't have to worry about that. - well, what's good having a big-screen tv if you can't watch it? - come here. [sighs] all right. i'm -- uh, i have to go now, so [sighs] - phew. i thought for a second that maybe you actually cared about somebody other than yourself. - where are you going, mama? - [scoffs] i made a promise to someone that i-i want to keep. - what about your promises to your kids? - i intend to keep those, too. - have a good time. come on, bud. - [scoffs] whatever. [sighs] - boo! - [gasps] - baby, i've been looking all over for you. - wayne, i don't have time right now. - come on! you're gonna love this! - what? oh, you got a minivan? so what? - no, that's not the surprise. oh, boy, do i have a christmas present for you. wait -- how'd you know i got a minivan? - what? - how'd you know i got -- never mind. come on. i want you to see your present. - [scoffs] okay. - come on. just keep your eyes closed. - they're closed. - no peeking. turn. [chuckling] you ready? - yeah. - ta-da! - merry christmas! - oh, my -- [laughs] wow! wayne! this is mine? i own this? - all yours. - i have never gotten anything this nice in my entire life, wayne. - so then... you like it? 'cause the guy i got it from said it's in great condition. - matsui, your favorite co- please stop talking. i just need a minute. ahh. oh, yeah. this is my helmet? - that's your helmet. put it on, baby. it matches the bike. you look so good. - thank you. [chuckles] [sighs] how'd you afford this? - don't worry about it. it's a gift. - is it from your college fund? - i was born in a trailer park, i was raised in a trailer park, i'm assistant manager of the dollar king, and my woman is cindy wegman. - what? - that's who i am, baby. - as long as you're sure. - well... you see, baby... meeting you brought so much joy in my life and -- [engine turns over, revs] [shouting] and i don't want that joy to end, so i was thinking, maybe you'd do me the honor of... [engine revving] - whoo! [laughs] [engine shuts off] - you got to be kidding me. - want to go for a ride? - what? you ditch wayne for a rich guy or something? - nope. wayne bought it for me. - where did wayne get that kind of cash? - working. i know. go figure. - huh. scooch over. i don't ride back door. - compromise? - come here. ohh. - [chuckles] [grunts] [engine turns over] [squeals] - when do we get our presents? - your butt's your present. - your mom's butt's your present. - your mom's butt's both of our mom's butt, so shut up. - guys, can we make this christmas not be about butts? - well, my butt's out of here -- no presents, no brandie. - hey! you sit your butt down! down. we're having christmas together if it kills us. - when's mama coming home? - it's christmas, buddy. she'll be here. - yeah, bud. don't worry. - i always wondered what it would be like on a brand-new harley under a beautiful tree. [engine shuts off] - no. keep it on. - say we lose these for a couple hours, huh? - oh, my god. - what? - [gasps] oh, my god. get off. - what? - randy, get off. - what? ! - just get off my bike. - no! - get off my bike. - no. - i got to marry wayne. wayne should be here doing this with me! whew. oh. randy, get off! - [grunts] hey! well, what about what we had together? - [scoffs] randy, you were with pam at the christmas party. come on. [engine turns over] - well, how the hell am i gonna get out of here? ! it's christmas! god! - you pissed away your college fund on a harley for cindy wegman? ! bet you never rode neither one of them, you dummy. now you can't even get back to work 'cause you're so sobbing so hard about the fact that she took off! - but i love her. [sobs] - you should be sobbing about the fact that she took off with all your money. - [sobbing] - all right. get ahold of yourself! it's christmas eve! look. you put in some long hours here, and you do some overtime -- heck, by the time you're 40... - [cries] - there you are! [giggles] of course i'll marry you. why don't you just say so? - really? - yeah. what the heck else am i gonna do? - do you love me? - if wink wasn't here, i'd show you just how much. - don't mind me. - but since he is, i'm just gonna take the minivan and i'm gonna get used to it. i'll see you back at home, okay? - wink, please don't make him work too late. - [mockingly] no, i won't. - [chuckles] - see? she does love me! - get off! for as bright as you are, you are as dumb as a bag of hammers -- dumb, dumb, dumb! - oh. [sighs] dang it. - [echoing] you looking for this? - oh, not now. really? [sighs] - where are you headed? - to what i promised the last ghost i would do. - [scoffs] clean up your mama's shop? no, you ain't. - [scoffs] [snaps fingers] - this ain't right. this ain't the salon. - this is like - scrapbooking place. - what the heck? - it looks god-awful, don't it? [laughs] [coughs, laughs] - hey, i know that laugh. i know that laugh! mama. - [clicks tongue] - you look terrible. - well... - what's up with the creepy black robe? - robe's part of the tradition for, uh, ghosts of christmas future. anyway, after you married wayne, you sold the place to bob and marge. you never did get no job. - [scoffs] well, i actually think it looks kind of nice. - oh, you like the way this looks? it looks like a magazine or something. it's got no soul. i mean, honey, look what you let happen to the salon that i built with my own hands. - it's quaint! - yeah. then marge went even hog-wild after she got it all in the divorce. - wait -- bob and marge got a divorce? - yeah. - see? [chuckles] i knew the future looked bright. i knew it. - yeah. [clicks tongue] they didn't get along so well after, you know, the incident with... little tim. - what happened with tim? - [sighs] - hey, hey! what happened to tim? - oh. oh. oh. so suddenly you care about tim, huh? - i've always cared about peepers! - [sighs] - what happened to my harley? - remember the phrase, "i'd rather push a harley than ride a honda"? - yeah. - that's for people who could afford them. you were too good to ride a honda, but too lazy to work to make the money to keep a harley. now, come on. this is hurting me just as much as it hurts you. - [sighs] - makes me realize i was a bad mama. you never did learn how to cook, and wayne took to eating the pimento loaf at the dollar king all day long. - dang. wayne! [scoffs] wake up, you lard. it's time for work! - [sighs] it's christmas. - so? the dollar king ain't never closing! - i quit. - quit? really? well, you know that wink's gonna die, and you're gonna get promoted. - i can't believe wink never promoted me. he promised. baby, he promised. - what a loser! you know, i thought, of all the losers in all the different trailer parks, that wayne was gonna be different. - he would've been, too, but behind every great man is a great woman. - are you saying i ain't a great woman? - you think it was better for him to buy you a harley than to go to college? - it was for me. - oh, look around. you really think that this was better for you in the long run? - let me guess -- that's me in the box. i ain't afraid of dying. - look around. funeral parlor's pretty empty. - so? it's not like i'd be around to care. though, actually, i did think wayne might be here. he was pretty good about obligations. - wayne died a year ago. saw a commercial for i.t.t. technical college and began crying so hard his throat done closed up and couldn't get no more air. strange occurrence. suffocated to death. - hmm. see? look. somebody loves me. here comes bob. he's always good about obligations, too. - i have laid awake many a night, thinking to myself, "there ain't no one that can get through to this woman. "and every day, "with the train wreck of a life that you've led, "somehow you'd get by... without a care for anyo but yourself." i never thought i'd say this, but... i'm glad you're gone! - all these years, he's been wishing for me to die? - you ruined my life! - oh, sir! sir, i understand this is an emotional time, but i can't let you hurt these flowers. - i was just leaving. - [sighs] - uncle bob. - who's that? - i'm glad you came. - oh, that must be skoal. he always had a wild streak. - what happened with tim, that was my fault and not hers. - wait -- what? what happened with tim? did -- did he come out or something? - keep watching. - no, champ, it was hers... and mine, a little bit, for letting it happen, but not -- not you. you were a victim, son... just like tim. you know, harley, you were always special to me. - harley? - i love you, uncle bob. i'm sorry again. [chain clinking] - this is a mistake. he would make me throw back pennies from the wishing well. he would -- he would never steal from anybody. - the money was running out, the bills were piling up, wayne's paycheck from the dollar king just went into the negatives with all your spending, and that damn harley kept breaking down and needing to be fixed. - but i wouldn't have asked him to fix it. - you didn't need to ask. - and tim -- [sighs] - tim looked up to harley and couldn't say no. - did he die in the robbery? - no. the clerk did. tim dropped the gun, and it went off. - well, what happened? - tim died the first night in the county jail. they cooked his food in peanut oil. - ohh. - [chuckling] well, hey. aren't you gonna make a crack about that? i mean, typical, right? he's such a little wussy. he couldn't even make it through one night at the clink, and it wasn't 'cause he was shanked, either. it's 'cause of a peanut allergy. [chuckling] i mean, what a lame-ass, right? - it's not funny! - rest in peace, mom. [dramatic music plays] harley? harley! you know your mama loves you, right? harley! harley. you love your mama, right? harley? harley, you love your mama, right? harley! harley, you love... - mama. are you all right? - am i a good mama? - you know i love you. - that's not what i asked you. - well, you're my mama. and that's all that matters. - but you know i love you, right? - i know that you've got your own way of showing it. are you okay? - [sighs] i got some things to figure out. - [sighs] harley. i love you very, very much, all right? but i need you to go back to bed now. - mama, if you need anything, i'm here. and i will do anything for you, mama. you know that. right? - i do know that, and that's what worries me. come here. now you get on back to bed, 'cause tomorrow is christmas. - but, mama. - go on. do as you're told. - good night. - good night. [sighs] [door creaks] [car door closes, engine turns over] [dialing] - ho, ho, ho. you've reached bob, marjorie, and tim. we're at the outlet mall, shopping for your christmas presents, so we can't take your call right now, but we sure do want to talk to you. leave a message at the sound of the beep. [beep] - hi, uncle bob. um... i'm sorry that i called so late -- or early -- but i'm worried about mom. i think she's leaving us. and i'm sorry if i woke you up. and merry christmas. [phone beeps] [sighs] [doorbell rings] - right on... [weight jangling] ...everything. [speaks indistinctly] uh-huh. [dog barks in distance] make sure you're in focus. [breathes deeply] well [chuckles] finally come to your senses? want to spend some quality time with the rattail? - do you have a second to talk? - yeah. it's gonna have to be on the road, though. i'm leaving for yuma tonight. - oh. well, it's christmas. - yeah, well, i got a match tonight... [sniffs] "x-man for xmas." hey, you know what? you should come. - hmm. well, that's kind of what i wanted to talk to you about. - really? [birds chirping] - is it christmas yet? - yeah, skoal. it's christmas. - where's mama? - i don't know. [phone rings] [phone beeps] hello, mama? - no. hey, buddy. it's your uncle bob. is your mama there? - no. - okay, i got this crazy note from her. - we got one, too. but we haven't opened it yet. - hold on a second, buddy. i got another call. [cellphone beeps] - bob, tim is gone! - marge, just calm down. - he's gone, and i have a note here from your crazy sister. i think she took him. - hold on, honey. - what? "hold on"? did you not hear what i said? [cellphone beeps] - bob? - uncle bob? - hey, buddy. look, your aunt marge got a note, too. i'm gonna come over there, and i'm gonna pick you up, so get ready. - okay. - okay, i'll see you in a second, bud. - okay. bye-bye. [cellphone beeps] - bob. bob. do you hear me, bob? oh, what i am gonna do that white-trash sister of yours! - honey, calm down. everything's gonna be just fine. i will meet you there. [cellphone beeps] - bob. bob? bob? [baby crying] - have you seen tim? - no. why? - he isn't here? - i don't know. i just got here. - why don't you ever know anything? - i... i know she's - he might not even - hey. you're all here! come on. come on in. - honey. oh, honey, what happened to your hair? and where are your glasses? - look at me, mom. i'm cool! - i don't understand why she - can you calm down, you beast, okay? his haircut ain't gonna cost you nothing. it's a freebie, and i can't believe i'm even saying that. all right. hop down. [grunts] - aah! - i think you might still need these, though. come here. - this is lovely. yeah, he's got it. - so you just remember that cool comes from the inside, okay? mwah! hee-haw! - how did you pull this off? - let's just say that... mama made me do it. - mama, can we open our presents now? - of course you can, baby. harley, make sure you get all the right ones, okay? - we get our own presents this year? - yep. and i didn't even use the claw machine. [chuckles] - what about me? - of course you. honey, come here. come here. but you know your daddy is away in yuma. he had a match. but i told him i'd take [singsong voice] real good care of you. - here, brandie. - [chuckles] - so, you need to start dressing a little more respectable. - this is really great what you did. we are gonna be so happy together! - um, can i give this to you outside? awesome. bye, baby. come on. - come here, champ. let me look at you. - look at me, dad. - look at that! she made you stronger, too, huh? - [sighs] here. open it. [paper ripping] - your hammered gold record? - well, i figured it would take care of your account over there at the dollar king, 'cause i know all that wasn't cheap. - wow. the harley? and the ring, too? does this mean "no"? 'cause i love you. - oh, wayne, you only love me because we live in this crap town. but when you get to where you're going, you're gonna find somebody that you deserve to be with. you don't deserve to be in a trailer park. you're gonna do big things in this life -- important things. - you really think so? - i know so. okay, so i have one more gift for you, but you have to turn around. - hey! - well, now you're all ready for college! come here, wayne. merry christmas. - oh. excuse me. excuse me, miss? [chuckles] yeah. i-is the salon open? - c-c-can you see that we're in the middle of something? - cind, you might want to... ma'am, i apologize for her. she can be a tad on the abrasive side sometimes. but her heart's in the right place. - look at you using all these big college words already. - i'm sorry. i didn't mean to intrude. i just wanted to know if the salon was open, 'cause i wanted, you know, a redo or a rebirth. - you know, i've heard all the stor- hey, listen, i really don't need to hear your life story, okay? can you come back in an hour, and i'll fix that mess? - okay. an hour. - [chuckling] cindy. - what? - you should be nice. [sighs] merry christmas. - [sighs] wayne. you take care. [engine turns over] - see, you could wear that to the sizzler or the prom. that is gorgeous. - it's growing on me. - [sighs] okay. - i wanted to thank you for what you did for tim. it pains to say this, but i've never seen him look happier. - so is this some sort of an apology? - well, look, i'm sorry, too. so... - uh, uh. baby steps. - [chuckling] i agree. [spits] - [spits] - is everything okay, ladies? - yes. - ah! i knew it! [all chuckling] - so, bob, i was thinking about a christmas gift for you. - oh, no. this is all the gift i need. - since mama handed me this store, and she's your mama, too, why don't we become partners? - oh. i-i don't think that would be such a good idea. - um... you know, it might not be a bad idea. look, there is -- there's a line outside the door. - but we can talk about that, but not today. today is christmas. - well, merry christmas, you two. - merry christmas. - and merry christmas, kids! now, you guys... i know i don't say this enough, but i love you more than anything in this entire world. and that's why i named you after some of my favorite things -- cheez doodles. [baby coos] skoal. brandie. - but you didn't name me. - i know, but i still like brandie. and i love you like you're one of my own. 'cause family is very important, okay? family is all we really got. and, harley, my angel. you know i've always loved you the most. i'm just kidding. i love all you guys. but i love you. and this is for you. - thank you, mama. - you're welcome. - * noel, noel - it's just a little something. - i love it, mama. - oh, don't go bs'ing me, boy. it's, uh -- it's supposed to be like when you -- [sighs] when you don't have something, but it's like -- it's like it means something, but it's... help me. you know what i'm saying? - a symbol? - yes! a symbol! dang! wayne must have been teaching you while i was out doing... doing my thing. so, that is supposed to remind you of where you've come from, but not where you're going, okay? and that's probably me in there with my feet up on the recliner after a hard day at girl curl -- just lazy. [chuckles] make it snow! - [chuckles] - [chuckles] all right. - this is one badass christmas! - tim, watch your language! - * we wish you a merry christmas * * we wish you a merry christmas * * we wish you a merry christmas * * and a happy new year * good tidings to you - mega hug. - * to you and your kin * good tidings for christmas * and a happy new year - well... i think that pretty well. - she's a changed person! - aw, she'll blow it. but today she's having a good one. [coughing] - * we won't go until we get some * - only one for you. - [chuckles] okay. - ahh! - hey. - merry christmas. - cheers. [chuckles] - salud. - merry christmas. - [clicks tongue] - i love christmas. - i love this. [both laugh] - * we wish you a merry christmas * * we wish you a merry christmas * * we wish you a merry christmas * * and a happy new year * we wish you a merry christmas * * we wish you a merry christmas * * we wish you a merry christmas * * and a happy new year * we wish you a merry christmas * * and a happy new ye-e-ear * yeah! hey, hey! ["jingle bells" plays] - jingle bells! jingle bells! jingle all the way! oh, what fun it is to ride on a one-horse open sleigh! yeah! yeah! yeah! can i hear a "jingle bells"? ! - * dashing through the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh * - * o'er the fields we go, laughing all the way * - [laughs] - * jingle bells, jingle bells [humming with mouth full] - * oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh * - hey! - * jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way * * oh, what fun [laughing] it is to ride... * - * jingle all the way - * oh, what fun it is to ride * in a one-horse open sleigh - * jingle bells, jingle bells * jingle all the way * what's the part where robin and batman say something? * - * batman smells, robin laid an egg * - * oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh * hey! - * oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse... * - * oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh * - * sleigh! * yeah-hey-hey, yeah-hey ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ ♪ All the things that make us ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ ♪ Family Guy 11x13 ♪ Chris Cross Original Air Date on February 17, 2013 == sync, corrected by elderman == All right, class, today we're going to be talking about variables. (kids laughing) Okay, it's just a rear end. We all have one. Mine just happens to be a hot Brazilian woman's. No, we're not laughing at you. We're laughing at Griffin's shoes. Why, what's wrong with them? I don't even know what those are. What's "Teslik"? Um, I'm not sure, but my mom says they're very popular with Latvian athletes. Running, throwing, lifting big things. Teslik. That's all right with me, man. ANNOUNCER: Each shoe sold separate. Are they really that bad? (laughs): Are you kidding? They're terrible. Man, high school is rough. This year it's sneakers. Last year it was all about being overweight and wearing a baseball cap. Hey, guys, sure hope we win the big game on Saturday. Get lost. Dork. Yeah, gain some weight, will ya? (laughing) Oh, of all the years to be trim and well-hatted. That was a fun birthday party, huh, Stewie? That kid was Indian and 11 years old. Where are you finding my friends? Oh, someone's a little cranky. Here, let me put on the radio. ♪ Talkin' 'bout the club ♪ Lookin' round the club ♪ ♪ Pimpin' at the club ♪ Emphasizing "club." Yuck, this is awful. ANNE MURRAY: ♪ Or am I really lying here with you? ♪ My God, who is this enchantress? ♪ Baby ♪ You take me in your arms Oh, isn't that cute? My little Stewie likes Anne Murray. She sounds like an angel. It's like her voice is putting my entire body in her mouth. ♪ ♪ And, oh, I ♪ Just fall in love again ♪ Just one touch and then it happens every time ♪ ♪ And there I go, I ♪ Just fall in love again ♪ And when I do ♪ I can't help myself ♪ I fall in love with you. (music fades) You like that, Stewie? You like Anne Murray's music? Do I? I've never known such happiness. This must be what it's like for you when you're buying potatoes or scraping your heels or smushing on makeup for a sad night out. ANNOUNCER: This portion of the Channel 5 News at 6:00 is brought to you buy condoms. Put us on backwards a little bit, then put us on the right way. Mom, Dad, I need to get new sneakers. What? I just bought you new sneakers. I know, but I need cooler ones. Shut up, and stop complaining. When I was your age, I didn't even have sneakers. We wore stale hamburger buns. No, you didn't, Peter. Shh, he doesn't know that. He's just a dumb, fat loser. Did you see his shoes? Look, Chris, I'm sorry, but money's tight right now. Yeah, I even had to take a second job as a door-to-door vacuum salesman. This thing can pick up anything. Here's a little demonstration. I'll pour some wine, rub in some feces, and, to top it off, some mustard mixed with feces. Tough stain, right? Oh, crap, I forgot the vacuum. (crickets chirping) (Anne Murray singing "Snowbird") All right, Rupert, you ready to get lost in some Anne? ♪ Gentle breezes where the peaceful waters flow ♪ ♪ Spread your tiny wings and fly away ♪ ♪ And take the snow back with you ♪ ♪ Where it came from on that day ♪ ♪ The one I love forever is untrue ♪ ♪ And if I could, you know that I would fly away with you ♪ ♪ Yeah, if I could, you know that I would fly-i-i-i-i ♪ ♪ Away with you. (song ends) What a woman. To think Canada's got her, and we have Kelly Clarkson going to town at a Waffle House. That's it, I'm getting those sneakers. After all, shoes make the man. Gentlemen, take your marks. (pistol fires) (crowd cheering) I'm a different kind of winner. Oh, come on, Dad, there's no cash in here. Just a bunch of cards that say, "I farted on your car," with his insurance info. (moans sadly) Busted. Geez, it's so weird that Mom and Dad would leave the house without their purse and wallet. I wonder where they are? Can I get you anything else? Uh, two more Cokes, please. Could you excuse me? (keypad beeping) (phone rings) Hello. Damone, it's Peter. I'm at my date and I left my wallet at home. Will you please borrow your mom's car, drive to my house, get my wallet, and bring it back here? Damone, are you there? Damone? Yeesh, I'm really kind of busy. Come on, just do me this one favor. All right, but you owe me for this one. Oh, thanks, Damone. And that was the last we ever saw of him. Well, well, well. Who do we have here? It's me, Chris, you know me. Why are you talking like a bad guy? Listen, I saw you steal money from Mom's purse. Oh... Well, I was just trying to get new sneakers. You're not going to tell on me, are you? Well, that depends. On what? How about, I won't tell Mom and Dad about the money if you promise to do whatever I say. Meg, this is how a lot of porn starts. I mean it, Chris. I'll tell them. Mom, Chris took money out of the... Okay, okay, okay. I'll do whatever you want. I thought you'd see it that way. Here's a list of stuff I need you to do for me. Shouldn't have taken that money, Chris. Eh, she's right. I'm a horrible person. I'm only one step above those people who really like dive bars and really need you to know it. I love this place. I love dive bars. Dive bars are my favorite. They're so much better than regular bars because worse is better. I know, right? They're my favorite, too. I'm quirky like that. I've got quirky taste. I'm a quirky girl. It seems like we would be perfect for each other. But really we're terrible for everyone. ANNE MURRAY: ♪ And though I... What the hell? Are you listening to Anne Murray? Uh, I am experiencing Anne Murray. Why? That music is complete crap. Um, excuse me? It's all just vapid, overproduced tripe. It has no edge whatsoever. Yeah, neither does a soft summer breeze, or a letter from an old friend. I'm pretty sure envelopes have edges. Fine, an e-mail. Dick. Whatever. You know what? I don't care. I think Anne Murray sucks, and that's my opinion. Oh, yeah? Well, I'm going to make a believer out of you, Brian. I am going to show you the true meaning of Anne Murray. Don't waste your time, I'm not going to change my mind. I don't know, Bri, I can make things happen when I want to. Just ask my twin brother. (grunting) And here's baby boy number one. I understand you've decided to name him Stewie. One more to go. And here he... oh. Oh, dear. Oh, no, did Dave not make it? Okay, Meg, I've cleaned your room and I did your homework. Can I be done now? Oh, no, there's a lot more things I need you to do for me. There are? Like what? Well, now you have to watch An Officer and a Gentlemen with me. And that's it? (laughs) No. At the end, when Richard Gere carries Debra Winger out of the paper mill, you have to read what's on this index card. (on TV): ♪ Love lift us up where we belong... ♪ (crying) That's going to be you some day, Meg. I know it will. I just know it will. Okay, Chris, I want to wear contacts, but I'm too squeamish to put them in myself, so you need to help me. Really? Is it that hard? My eyes are too sensitive. It's like they overreact or something. Okay. Ah, what happened to your eye? ! Don't worry about it. Just put the lens in. But where do I put it? The pupil's gone. Your eye just looks like a ping-pong ball. I think it rolled up into my head. Look, just... just do the other one. (screaming) You look like one of those blind jazz guys. Where are you? I can't see anything. (screaming) I don't like this. Just wear your stupid glasses. Chris, I'm blind. I'm sorry, Meg. (crying) What the hell is all this? This is history, Brian. A key moment in the history of happiness. Have a seat. (sighs) (piano plays gently) ♪ I cried a tear ♪ You wiped it dry ♪ I was confused ♪ You cleared my mind ♪ I sold my soul ♪ You bought it back for me ♪ And held me up ♪ And gave me dignity ♪ Somehow you needed me ♪ You gave me strength ♪ To stand alone again ♪ To face the world ♪ Out on my own again ♪ You put me high ♪ Upon a pedestal ♪ So high that I could almost see eternity ♪ ♪ You needed me ♪ You needed me... (song ends) (sniffles) Some hardcore (bleep), right? Wow, thank you for turning me on to something so amazing. Hey, I'm just glad you enjoyed it. And I'm sure Buzz Lightyear would have enjoyed it if he had bothered to show up. Hey, how would you like to go to my apartment... and beyond? Okay, Meg, I stood outside Planned Parenthood for 36 hours and here are the pictures of every girl in your class who went in. All right, good. Now I want you to call them as if you're their dead baby. No way, that was the last thing on your list. I-I can't do this anymore. Well, you should've thought of that before you stole money out of Mom's purse. I own you. Now, here's my post office key. I need you to go downtown and get the stuff from my P.O. box. You-you don't get your mail here? No, I get a lot of private correspondence from the Netherlands. Like what? Like, I'm part of a group that kind of trashes Anne Frank's house every year. You know what? No. That's it. I'm not-I'm not doing any more of your crap, Meg. Chris, don't you see? You have no choice. I'll just go tell Mom and Dad about the money and they'll ground your ass for a year. I don't care, tell them. 'Cause I'm not even going to be here. I'm going to run away and no one will ever see me again. Good, go. And who's even going to miss you? You're just a little thief. Where you going, Chris? Who are you going to turn to? You don't even have any friends. (doorbell rings) Hi. I ran away from home. Do you mind if I live with you? Live with me? My goodness, I feel like I want to pinch myself to see if I'm dreaming. Hot dog, it's real. Mr. Herbert, it's 6:00, I'm-I'm not really tired yet. Well, you had those three cups of Nyquil. You'll be down soon enough. Okay, good night, Mr. Herbert. Sweet dreams, Chris. Mr. Herbert, what's life really all about? Well, I suppose it's about trying new things; sampling the sweet and the savory; not being afraid to take everything life wants to throw up on into ya. Wow. I never looked at it like that before. Thanks, Mr. Herbert. But don't you think it's scary to try new things? No, Chris. Life is like a new baseball glove. At first you think you're never going to get a ball in there. But then you oil it up, work your fingers around in there a little, and pretty soon you're pitching and catching. I guess that makes sense. (farting) CHRIS: Sorry. You really know how to waste a Cialis, don't you? ANNE MURRAY: ♪ The snowbird sings the song ♪ He always sings... You know, this is definitely a mystery song for me. It's so upbeat, but the lyrics are so dark. I'm-I'm sorry, are we both listening to "Snowbird," as recorded by Miss Anne Murray? Yeah, the woman in the song is trying to cope with getting older and she feels trapped because she knows she can't do anything about it. No, no, no, no. I mean, you're right that she's feeling trapped, but the message is positive. It's about being trapped in a bad relationship and having the guts to get out of it. No, no. See, what I hear, is that the woman is starting to hate life. You know the line, "Now I feel such emptiness within"? Yeah, I know the song. Well, Anne Murray feels old. And then, to make things worse, the snowbird comes around every year, bringing the snow, or "death," to remind her that no matter what she does, her fate's already written. Brian, the snowbird has nothing to do with time or fate. Well, I disagree. Look, there's only one way to settle this. Only the artist knows the true meaning of their art. Now, Ms. O'Keefe, the flowers in your paintings, what do they represent? Oh, wow, that's a really good question. (sucks air) La, la, la... (blathering) Mm... (blathering) (blowing raspberries) Oh, hi, Meg. Could you tell Chris breakfast is ready? Oh, um, I-I-I think he got up early. He, um, said something about a fat kid rally at Little Caesars. Huh, it's not like Chris to miss breakfast. Oh, don't worry, Mom. I... I'm sure he'll be home later. Well, I hope so. We were supposed to go to the library to wipe boogers in fancy books. I like to wipe mine in Bronte novels. It's like a time bomb to gross out lonely chicks. Oh, Heathcliff. Oh, come on. I want so little. Chris, what did you do with my video tapes? I had a whole system. I was trying to find a good movie to watch. I've never even heard of most of these. "Jeffrey at the Park." "Mikey's Scoliosis Exam." "Nephew Somersault Compilation." Well, even if you never heard of them, I assume you heard of the alphabet. You want to explain to me how "Sammy Popsicle" comes before "Napping, Various"? Geez, I'm sorry. Well, can we watch "Lost Boys"? I've heard of that one. Those... those are different lost boys. (whistling "Snowbird") Are you whistling "Snowbird"? Yeah. That's awesome. Whoa, whoa, whoa, why do you get to ring it? Because I was into her first. (doorbell rings) Let's flip for it, or... I can't believe you did that. I cannot believe you just did that. (doorbell rings) Will you stop it. She's going to think we're weird. Hi. Can I help you? Hi. Miss Murray. My name's Brian Griffin. Uh, first of all, I just want to tell you what a huge fan I am. Aw, that's very sweet of you. And I'm Stewie. I'm the one who sent you the vibrators. Well, I'm glad you enjoy my music. Would you like to come in? We'd love to. Wow, nothing says success like free on a Tuesday at 3:00 p.m. I'll get there. So, Miss Murray, the reason we came is that we have a question about "Snowbird." It's about a relationship, right? No, no, it's obviously about the fear of growing old. You know, I think you're both kind of right. I guess I always thought it was about human limitation, both mental and physical. Okay, that... that just blew my face off. Well, I hope that helps. It does. Thank you so much, Miss Murray. This has been terrific. Hey, uh, before we go, do you mind if I use your restroom? It was a long drive up here. No, go right ahead. We should do something without him sometime. Do you like tapas? Someone invited me out for that once. I thought they said topless, so I was like, (high-pitch): what? That's a good story. Hey, you know, that was really cool how you told us what "Snowbird" was about. Well, you know, that's just the way I always interpreted the song. But I suppose Gene probably could have explained it better than I. Who's Gene? Gene MacLellan. He wrote the song. I see. But you wrote all your other songs, right? No, all of my songs were written by other people. As a singer, I've been blessed to interpret the works of many gifted, sensitive songwriters. Oh. So, you're just a big (bleep) liar? Sit back down. All right, come on, Stewie, let's go home... (muffled grunts) Stewie, what the hell are you doing? She's a fraud, Brian. A fraud! She didn't write any of her songs. Well, so, that's the case with a lot of singers. It's a very common industry practice. Well, then you're all a bunch of frauds, aren't you? A bunch of frauds and charlatans. You want to be a puppet? Then sing for your life, puppet. Come on. ♪ Spread your tiny wings and fly away! ♪ (muffled singing) Come on, Anne, sing along. You know it. You didn't write it, but you know it, bitch. STEWIE AND ANNE: ♪ The one I love forever is untrue ♪ ♪ And if I could you know that I would fly away with you. ♪ Hey, Meg, you here for the expired hot dogs? No, Carl, I'm looking for Chris. I've looked everywhere and I can't find him. Uh, I haven't seen him but I'll keep an eye out. (knocking on glass) Hey, bozos, what do you think of this? (laughing): I did, I did it! You're crazy man. You're so crazy. (gunfire, men shouting on TV) I thought I told you to clean up in here? And why aren't you dressed? We're supposed to have dinner with Judge Maynard and Timmy. Yeah, okay, as soon as I finish this level. No, get your coat on. It's a three-hour drive to that cabin. Can't you just cook something here? Excuse me? I am not going to cook you dinner while you sit here in your own mess playing your TV games. Oh-ho, and the martyr returns. Chris, I... I think it's time for you to go. Okay, I'll go. But I want you to know, I faked all my light-headedness. Mm, good Kool-Aid. Whoa, whoa. Sound familiar? Oh, my God, Chris. Oh, there you are. I've been looking all over for you. Why? You want to humiliate me with more slave work? No, I... I wanted to apologize. I should've never blackmailed you. I'm really sorry. And I want you to come home. I thought you said no one would miss me? I said a lot of stupid things I didn't mean, Chris. But I miss you. Thanks, Meg. I miss you, too. You know, living in that family, we both have pretty crappy lives. And if we're going to survive it, we can't turn on each other. We're all we have. I know. I'll never do anything like that again. Do you think you can ever forgive me? Yeah, I forgive you. (engine starting) (tires squealing) == sync, corrected by elderman == (crying) We broke up. WOMAN: Hello? SHUTTER CLICKS What do you want, pig? Can I trust you to pass this on? What have you got? Sorry, are you married? I live alone. Oh. Liz Fletcher. Do you ever go in the loft, Mr Moss? I rarely venture beyond the ground floor. Peggy? Where the hell are you? You shouldn't really be here, Len, You know that, right? You're retired. Argh! SQUEAKING KNOCKING Come on, she's out. She can't be. She never goes out. KNOCKING Hiya! How are you? Yeah, good. It's Melissa, isn't it? Yeah. I'm Peggy. This is Elaine. I know. OK if we come in for a sec? Yeah, sure. You have the most incredible skin! Have people told you that before? Not really. So pretty it glows. Let's open that other bottle. Where do you keep the corkscrew? The drawer nearest the fridge. (If you don't want to do it, just say no.) CORK POPS Did I mention, this woman is a genius with a lens? PEGGY CHUCKLES She will make you look better than you have ever looked, I guarantee it. And if she can't, hell, everything we do is airbrushed, anyway. I don't think... I don't really... We have a deadline. And there's literally no-one else we can ask. As a neighbour? As a friend? Please? SHUTTER CLICKS That's it. Look over your shoulder. Look to the side... INAUDIBLE SHUTTER CLICKS SHUTTER CLICKS MAN GROANS AND GASPS How did you do it? Ohh! Must've blacked out. I don't remember much. Banged my head on something. There was...someone. Where? In the flat upstairs? No. No, no, I can't be sure. Look, thank you, Miss Khan. I'm really sorry to keep imposing on you. Let me call one of your colleagues, they can drive you back. No, no. I'm OK now, really. What happened to her? The girl upstairs. You keep coming back. You must think she... Was she killed? I can't rule that out. WOMAN SOBS DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES Hello? Elizabeth? SHE SOBS The policeman... He came back. Where were you? Don't lie to me, Elizabeth. Number five. What did we agree about going upstairs? Something bad always happens when you go upstairs. I'm sorry. Did he see you? The policeman, did he see you? I hit him. I had to. I had to get out of there. One day we're going to have to find a way to give all this back, aren't we? I'm sorry, Mr Sellers. Shh. Get some rest. Peggy, where the hell are you? Call me back. The poster design meeting with Elaine Markham and Peggy Scott? I'm so sorry, my partner's been delayed. OK, that's not a problem. Jesus Christ! I almost registered you as a missing person. I bet you didn't, though. Well, we didn't get the contract. Probably not surprising as half of us didn't even show up. I don't care about the stupid contract. Let's get a coffee. I don't want a coffee. Well, I do. So whatever character assassination you've got lined up for me, let's at least temper it with caffeine. Who found her? Some new lot just above us. Had reason to pop into the loft and there was old fatty. Only not so fat any longer. Don't talk like that. SHE SIGHS The gossip on the street says it was a suicide. Come home, Peg. We can't talk here. I can't go back there. I can't spend another night in that flat. Well, then we'll move. We'll put it on the market, we'll buy somewhere else. (It's not the flat, Elaine, it's you! ) (I can't be with you any longer! ) Think very carefully about what you say next. I've hired a van. I'll be round on Friday to get what's mine. You don't have to be there. In fact, it's better if you're not. THUNDER HE SIGHS Most people miss first time. You're going to be late. SHOWER RUNS KNOCKING Oh, he's already left for work. I hear him go 7:40 on the dot every morning. Oh. Does he live on his own? Joe? You bet he does. Nobody'd put up with the grumpy old bastard. I'm Kieron, by the way. We keep missing each other. Oh, Michael. Oh, let me get it. Oh, thanks. URBAN DANCE MUSIC BUZZER RELEASE BUZZER All right if we use these, or will he notice? Yeah. OK. SHE GIGGLES 'Hello? ' Miss Khan, it's Detective Inspector Harper. RELEASE BUZZER I don't want to scare you, Miss Khan, but it's possible anyone could gain access if they wanted. So there was someone in here? It's not secure, that's all I'm saying. The other day you said you thought she might have been killed. I said I wasn't ruling it out. Got me thinking, though. Hmm? What if it was someone from here? From one of the flats? Why would one of her neighbours want to kill her? GIGGLING GIRL GIGGLES I'm sorry, I... Wait. Please! I'm Adam. Patricia. You must be his friend. You must be his son. Come in, then. Can I get your opinion on something? What's wrong with this picture? You want me to say she looks fat? Would you say she looks at ease? She's smiling. You think? I'd say that was a smile. She's uncomfortable. Self-conscious. Then, why did she do it? I'll call you. HE SIGHS I should...be getting back to work. So, what is it that you do, Patricia? I'm a journalist. Oh, so you work together. He really hasn't told you anything about me, has he? I bet he hasn't talked about me much, either. So we should be equally insulted. Well, maybe he's being cautious. You've been seeing each other for over a year now. Then he has told you something? The cosmetics in the bathroom cupboard and the electric toothbrush. The first time those items appeared round here was last January. We got together at a Christmas do, I semi-moved in the next month. So, where do you sleep every Tuesday night and alternate weekend? I kept my place on. Expensive. I want to keep my independence. Really? Is that true? I'm sorry, I really do need to get back. Will you tell him that we met? Will you? Are you kidding? It'd freak him out. Best both keep quiet, then. Pretend like this never happened. I like that plan. Oh, do me one favour? Anything. Change those sheets. What do you think about having them over? Who? The neighbours. We could make it a thing. Drinks, nibbles. Do we have to? I think we should get to know them better. Find out what they're really like. Morning, Mr Sellers. Good morning, Michael. We're having everyone over ours Friday evening. A few glasses of wine. Love you to drop by. That's very kind of you. Bring a guest if you like. A friend, lover. Anyone you want. After you, sir. Mr Harper. Len. How can I help you? It's this brochure of yours, it was found at a crime scene. The police? No, no, I'm just making enquiries. It's a personal matter. Yeah, those are our products, but...this isn't our brochure. It has your company name on it. It's the 2010 line, but this isn't the promotional material we went with. ♪ Now I can't remember ♪ ♪ How it goes but I know That I won't forget her ♪ ♪ 'Cause we danced all night To the best song ever ♪ ♪ I think it went oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ I think it went Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ I think it goes, oh ♪ Am I better when I'm naked? Ha-ha-ha. - I like being, um, free. I recorded "What Makes You Beautiful" in my boxers. Who gets to go on the O2 stage in their dressing gown? Not many, so I'm gonna live that dream, boys. And I'm gonna go out there and rock me little socks off. Thanks, everyone! ♪ Said her name was Georgia Rose ♪ Free hugs. Free. Free hugs, anyone? ♪ Said I had a dirty mouth ♪ I love you. ♪ But she kissed me ♪ ♪ Like she meant it ♪ You'll give me a hug, won't you? Yeah. Another hug. And one more? One more hug? Please. One more? Please. ♪ And we danced all night To the best song ever ♪ ♪ We knew every line ♪ ♪ Now I can't remember ♪ ♪ How it goes ♪ ♪ But I know ♪ ♪ That I won't forget her ♪ ♪ 'Cause we danced all night To the ♪ ♪ Best song ever ♪ The most important thing is not to pull it. - Whoops! - Careful! We've got a bomb. Oh, that wasn't-- I did not pull that. Three, two, one, go! Ha-ha-ha. What happened? I've got no brakes! I've got no brakes! This is going okay! We're gonna be okay! You do realize you're not getting out of this? But you do realize you'll be good at crossing the road? Do you see it? Ha-ha-ha. ♪ I think it went oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ I think it went yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ I think it goes, oh ♪ ♪ I think it went oh, oh, oh ♪ Musician's dressing room. When there's none of them in it, we trash it. ♪ I know ♪ ♪ You'll remember me ♪ ♪ And you know, I know ♪ ♪ You know I'll remember you ♪ ♪ And I know, you know ♪ ♪ I hope ♪ ♪ You'll remember How we danced ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ Liam's still my favorite - I guess. - Yeah? Yeah. How's it going? ♪ Best song ever ♪ ♪ We knew every line Now I ♪ ♪ Can't remember ♪ ♪ How it goes but I know ♪ ♪ That I won't forget her ♪ ♪ 'Cause we danced all night ♪ ♪ To the ♪ ♪ Best song ever ♪ ♪ And we danced ♪ ♪ All night to the best song ever ♪ Hi, babe. Oh! I love you. Banana bombs! No! No! No! Hang on, we've got something here. Oh! Oh! Aah! It's in my finger. hen was small had a desk. t was weird because wrote on it "hen grow up wanna be a singer. " lik e scribed it in. And it's still on the desk. Life at home was my dad mom and my three sisters. You could say had a heavy woman influence from a young age. e lived in a tiny house. used to have a little bed in my mum and dad's room. used to sit on the windowsill and imagine things lik e winning the lottery. hen was little knew that wanted to entertain people. was a proper show-off. At school was always trying to play the class clown. 've always been that guy that made people laugh. used to get kick ed out of class for singing rish traditional songs at the back of geography. could always hear my sister's music at the top of the stairs and used to pretend to have a guitar and 'd perform in my mirror in my bedroom. wasn't really interested in things that other kids were interested in. hey were interested in football and was more creative. herever went my dad seemed to tell people that could sing. t'd be lik e 2 3 in the morning and 'd be singing full power at the top of my v oice. My sister'd be banging on the wall going. "Shut up you can't even sing. Go to sleep. " -Three, two, one. -We push! hat was kind of guess where the dream started. What'd you do that for? Here we go, London! O2 Arena, welcome to the Take Me Home tour! London, are you ready? One Direction! One Direction! One Direction! British boy band One Direction has arrived to the frenzied screams of fans. Security was needed to control hundreds of fans. One Direction is taking over the music world one country at a time. -One Direction. -One Direction. One Direction. One Direction. One Direction. hey're number one here in Australia. Number one in the U.S. One Direction are number one in more than 35 countries. Even the beatles never achieved such transatlantic success so early in their careers. t's happened so so quickly. t's not just unusual it's unprecedented. 1 D definitely set the pace for 201 2 selling out their entire 201 3 arena tour in mere hours. he group was forced to add even more dates after selling out an impressive six days at London's renowned O 2 Arena. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Now I'm feeling good. It's nerve-racking being here now though, and actually seeing, Iike where you're actually playing. Like, I sat here the other week watching Kanye West play. And now we're here. I just feel a bit nervous. AII right, fellas, Iet's start. So first day of rehearsals. They've done the same choreography the Iast two years. Now I'm changing it. Heads, will! should we start? Louis, you're on that X. was never really a fan of boy bands before One Direction. I'm a massive boy band fan myself. Backstreet Boys, NSYNC. When people say, "You're in a boy band" I'm like, "Yeah, I am, but I'm in a cool boy band." So I'm like, "Okay, whatevs." Right from the start we were always very v ocal that we couldn't follow the boy band stereotypes. Choreographed dance routines, and everything's the same. Here we go! Go, NiaII! Taking the crowd with you! Love the stag. Keep the stag. really good, Iike that. Keep that in. paul, our choreographer gets bored, I think. NiaII, up that ramp. Harry, come on! It's a free-for-aII. hey hate dancing with a passion and it goes to a whole sort of different level. Can we just put that in? Some point in the-- That's the dinosaur. It's a bird pecking the sea. No, the bird, you dance out here, and the dinosaur's this. I Iove how we basically take the piss out of dance moves. And the winner: Zayn MaIik. Okay, from the top. When you go on tour the outfit you've got's the outfit you're stuck with so I'm gonna be wearing these clothes for a good eight months now. Is this working? Can you get in? I feel weird wearing a trench coat. It's the Harry styles look. It looks good. You look like one of those adverts. You do though. here's been times when they've dressed us all in the same clothes and we're like, " No, we can't do that." This is the: " I'm gonna rob your nan" look. This T is bad, though. I Iike this T-shirt. -Is it not happening? -They're a bit tight. I just wanna see for the look. Oh, my God. e have to be our own people. I don't think this band would've worked if we wasn't because as soon as someone tries to tell us what to do.... Now do a normal one, please, honey. It's like having five rowdy boys in a class at school. Honey please. Harry. Come on. Harry. Harry, come on we've got so much to do today. please, my darling. Yeah, thank you. Love you. Come on, now. Harry. That is sick. holy wow. Nice to meet you. What's your name? Liam. I went on X Factor when I was 1 4 the first time. It's bad news. Simon sent me home because I was too young. Why are you here today? I'm here to be the best artist I can be. he first time saw the One Direction boys was when they auditioned as solo artists for he X Factor. I don't know if any of you have seen my first audition, but it was horrendous. I hope it doesn't make any part of this movie. just murdered it. I'd Iike to make a personal apology to plain White T's. hello. So tell me a bit about you. -I work in a bakery. -And was asking stupid questions about what pies are popular. You see these people that audition for the show and they come from the same sort of background as you. They just come from normal, working-cIass families. -What's your name? -My name's Zayn. And then audition day 4:00 in the morning, I don't wanna get out of bed and go audition. So my mum physically pulled me out of bed. Imagine if I'd stayed in bed that day. Liam. I went back on the show with a bit of a point to prove. One massive fat almighty yes. Thank you so much. e got down to the Iast, Iike, 24 boys. thought 'm so close to this now. This is IiteraIIy-- I'm on the cusp of making it here. The final contestant who's made it through is: Tom Richards. could see my mom. I went: And she was going, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." And I'm like, " No, this clearly means no." think a couple of us were crying. e were absolutely gutted when we got kick ed off. I just don't wanna go home. I just don't wanna go. And then as I was, Iike, about to leave... Zayn MaIik. Liam Payne. ... they just called all five of our names out. Harry didn't have a clue. I remember him saying, Iike: "Yeah, you kept us back because you wanna try and make us cry." "We're young boys and we're all gonna be crying." Make a bit of good TV. And he was proper having a fuII-on strop about it. And then I made a decision, and I did this in about 1 0 minutes. Why don't we put these five boys into a group? hen the most important thing for us at that stage for some reason, in our minds, was: What are we gonna wear? So ridiculous. e hadn't even thought of a name. We didn't even know if we could sing together. NiaII did say, "We all need to dress a bit like Louis." NiaII looked at Louis' shoes. He was quite cool. " I Iike his shoes. We should wear his shoes." Green polo. We like those jeans. Let's all wear those jeans. I Iook back on it now. If we'd have dressed like that.... e first got together at Harry's dad's place. e did not know each other at all. e'd get together and sing a few songs in the nighttime around the campfire. e were meant to be rehearsing but we actually ended up playing football. Most of the time we just spent having a laugh really. e were lik e. " Let's just have fun." Let's just have fun and, Iike, see what happens. t was vital that we made friends before we became colleagues. The first act through on the public votes is: One Direction. Love you! Outside the studio they've only sang once. here's now 200 fans. And I thought at the time, "This is unusual. This just doesn't happen after one performance." The crowds were starting to build outside the studio. Harry, get a picture with me! he fans were really hard-core and they would just vote loads and loads of times. One Direction. One Direction. One Direction. One Direction. What's happening? 've never seen a band cause so much hysteria so early in their career. Leading up to the final thought "f 'm gonna bet on any of these three finalists these are the ones 'm gonna bet on. " he second act still in the final is: I don't think we're gonna win, but I really, really want to win. Just hoping for it. Rebecca. But they lost. We were gutted. Boys, how's this experience been for you? What have been the highlights? It's been absolutely incredible. hat could have been the end of the road. I think that was the thing we were most worried about because we just had such a great time on he X Factor and being together as a band. Zayn, what's gonna happen to One Direction now? We're definitely gonna stay together. -This isn't the Iast of One Direction. -Ladies and gentlemen give it up for One Direction. Unbeknown to me once they left the show it was all about the fans. Literally from the second it finished the fans made it their mission that One Direction were gonna become the biggest band in the world. This is why we have the best fans in the world. I'm gonna prove it right now. Proof. -They're just amazing. -They're amazing. They can always make fans laugh. They make me feel so happy. When I'm sad, they're here for me. Oh, my God! They're just genuine guys. We love them because they sing our feelings. They say what we want to hear... -...and no boys, no one, says to us. -Yes. They can't be real. They make us believe that everything is possible if we believe in ourselves. I know they love me. Even they don't know me. I know. They have changed my Iife. It may sound cheesy, but they have. We love you, One Direction! I'm right in front row! You sing! Here we go, O2! think our fans are dedication at its best. hat they've done for us in three years is just.... It's unheard of. here was this group of what called superfans. And they were like promoters. Go on, spread the word! So start tweeting and I literally made it my Iife. I've sent like 1 6,000 tweets. I was tweeting from Japan. hat was quite mad watching our witter just gradually, Iike, keep totting up. hese girls are crazy about One Direction, and I've got no idea why. I'm not a neuroscientist. As soon as Directioners listen to music and find the music pleasurable what happens in the brain is that a neurochemical called dopamine is released and provides feelings of joy and happiness. Shivers. Goose bumps. Strong pleasure. The girls are not crazy. The girls are just excited. Oh, my God! he One Direction boys are causing hysteria everywhere. It's akin to BeatIemania. So a small group of British girls became a huge group of British girls who then turned Europe into huge fans. America then stepped in. So in the space of months the fans got the entire planet to support One Direction. You sing! Let me hear you up top! Pandemonium. So the whole world are fans of One Direction. And we haven't put a record out yet. And then we released "What Makes You beautiful." First thought was, " could this work in America?" here's not much of a track record of any British boy bands breaking in America. But once everybody heard "hat Mak es You Beautiful" it was a perfect storm. Stateside these boys are making history. hey've gone straight to the number one spot. his week's number one. Best British single. It's One Direction. Lik e it just took itself off and took our career off too. It just went: hank you so much. Yes they're all good-looking guys. Yes, they can all sing really well. But combine that with the style of music they were making which was rock-influenced so they had lik e a little edge to it. One Direction sound.... There's a little hint of something dangerous. hey were slightly anarchic. And that was their appeal. Today is our last day in the UK for a while you know e're going straight into the ak e Me Home tour for 1 0 months. U.S.A! U.S.A! he first time it was literally just the UK that we were playing out to. Whereas now, it's all around the world. hen we started getting ready for it we just knew that it had to be good. think we felt lik e we had a lot to prove. he fans have spread the word about One Direction so much that I think it might be a little bit different this time. e never expected any of that so now there's something to live up to. And if we don't live up to it, then I don't know what happens next. You hear about bands who've-- hey've come and they've gone. don't wanna be one of those. " Madison Square Garden. The world's most famous arena." Now that sums it up. I just don't know where it goes from here, really. It's mad. I'm really nervous. Me too, bro. Proper nervous, Iike. So crazy. Madison Square Garden. No way did you ever think that you would be coming to Madison Square Garden... -...to see them perform. -No. Here we are hours before we head off to see our babies. Yeah. 'm in the mood Romance 'm giving it all tonight -'m in the mood for dancing -'m in the mood for dancing Romance Even if one member of your family is in the audience, it just adds to the nerves. For all of our families to be together in this place and be here, it's amazing. Your turn! he main reason any of us lads are here today is because of our families and the way they support us. You know the... -...standup boys. -Cardboard standup. I want a Louis one. And then at night, I can just go and say good night. And that's my favourite hair on Liam. I just love that one. Just shed tears just looking at him. -Yeah, you've only got the images. -Yeah, that's all you've got. They become like someone in a newspaper in a magazine, to you. always believed that Liam would mak e it but never this big. Never in my wildest dreams would think he'd be this big. He goes away for so long. Sorry. ith The X Factor Harry went to an audition and never came home again. -You weren't ready for that, were you? -No. As a mother, I should be taking him places and, you know, showing him things. And it's just kind of turned round and for him to bring us here it tak es a bit of getting used to. It feels quite surreal. please get ready. It's no-arm boxing, baby. You've gotta watch out-- No-arm boxing. Look at the time. Not with just my pants on, anyway. Hey. Keep your lens up here. Guys, Martin Scorsese. -pleasure to meet you. -Nice meeting you. hello. I've been listening to your stuff, I Iike it. -Yeah? -Yeah. That's amazing, actually. So amazing. I've been giving her stuff, and then she gives me stuff. 'm a big One Direction fan. They're gonna go all the way. They're gonna go higher. Next time you see them, we're gonna be in wembley Stadium or Giants Stadium. That's right. And I'II be right there in the front row. t's strange going from being around your family constantly to being with these guys. But lik e knowing that there's four of your best mates it's a great feeling to know that you're not in it by yourself. I can't believe I'm at MSG! I'm just a little boy from Bradford and now I'm smashing it! And you sort of feel so proud. You feel like your heart could burst sometimes. AII right. Let's give it our all. Come on, guys. Come on! n the back of your mind there's always this bit of feeling that you gotta kind of be ready to pick up the pieces if it stops. And it hasn't stopped. Sing it! You sing! Let me see those hands! Ladies and gentlemen we would lik e to begin boarding Japan Airlines Flight 3 20. he amount of time we've been away from home just to mak e our band stronger and be successful is a lot and there's no rest. It's just go, go, go. Like, you fly from one place to another to another. -See you. -Bye-bye. think we're very lucky in the fact that when we were touring this time we get to go to a lot of different parts of the world and you come across a place you haven't been to yet. t's just always so exciting. -Harry! -please, Harry! please! Harry! This is a little strange. This many photographers aren't allowed in the building in, Iike, england. Hey, Harry! Harry! I'm excited. 1 D! 1 D! 1 D! 1 D! 1 D! 1 D! How are you? You okay? Let's go. Bro, how crazy was that? I've never seen that. That's mad. That was crazy. Like, you know, all I kept thinking was, "And this is in Japan." Yeah. Monorail! t's so much cooler to be in a band than be by yourself. Just simply because you've always got people to have a laugh with people to share your experience with. -Morning, everyone. -Good morning! Guys, gonna quickly run through the day with you just so you know what's going on. he way our life is moving at the moment there's no way I'd be able to do this solo. I can't imagine being in a hotel room on my own. 'd be bored to death. e know that we've got a schedule to get through but we always think to have a laugh as we're doing it. Do it. hat's what mak es these trips a lot easier. Zip! Okay. Watch this. This is what we came here for, Tommo. Right. -Do I have to drink it now, is all? -Do it. -There we have it. -Just try to-- -" little Things." little taste. -Yeah, Iet's run " little Things." e rarely get lik e a day off when we land in places so it's just nice to walk around and explore. Stupid enough of me, I didn't know it got that cold here. Thought it wouId be one of those countries that's always hot. Why? I don't know. Because I just pictured australia. It's quite near, isn't it? Man, tell me.... Oh, no. How close are we? Or am I talking the other side of the world? Come on, Liam. It's like a soup. It's miso. -What was that? Miso soup. -It's miso soup. And you pour it in? You're meant to pour it into your rice, yeah? No, I think you drink it. You drink it, you drink it, you drink it. -Oh, look! 7-EIeven! -7-EIeven! Why have you done that? -Said "7-EIeven" at the same time. -well, I have to hit you as well, then. went around wearing... -...a surgical mask. -Oh, you did? Yeah. -Where'd you get one? -I bought a packet of five. -I have a spare one that you can have. -Sick! You've got to take your shoes off, by the way. Ghana okyo London. probably my three favourite places. I said, sit down. I said, sit down! Let's be honest, ireland is the best country in the world. Hands down. absolutely not. hello. Sing it! Sing it! There it is. The crown jewel. AII right then, lads, tourists for the day. Get in, NiaII. Ghetto. Can we do one of those pictures where you go like that? How do you do that? Where you stand like this? Like, touching the top. -How do you do that? -You have to get down. Is it working? Looks like you're holding it up. We're back now. Start of the European leg of the tour. Do you know what I'm thinking? We need to try one of them local delicacy things from every place. And here's the frog legs and snail stuff. Are you down? I'm not down for snails. I think we should try it in every place. Just try a delicacy from somewhere. I've tried frogs but that's still not that weird. Like, snails is probably a bit disgusting. We've never toured Europe before so because this is the first time we've done it, it feels like an adventure because a different country every day, it feels like we're on Euro rip. We're in D0sseIdorf. Germany! I heard brussels is a place to meet people. -My brother. -Hey. We found the belgian version of me on the streets. Just passed the ball to the best player in the world. Possibly the best ever. After you. Here you go. -I'II just follow that up. -You take the exact same shot Louis. It's like a big lads' holiday, really. With a Iot of work involved. Big up yourself. Can we sing it like this tonight? Because it's actually really good. Heigh ho heigh ho t's off to work we go ith a buck et and spade And a hand grenade heigh ho -Heigh ho heigh ho heigh ho -Heigh ho Hands in. Put your hand in! -Three, two, one. -We push! One Direction! Good evening Paris! The French fan is the best because we are crazy. Vive One Direction! Good evening Oslo! welcome to Norway! We love you! stockholm, make some noise! welcome to Sweden! -Three, two, one. -We push! Good evening Antwerp! This is gonna be good! One Direction One Direction! Europe has been so crazy because there's a lot of fans who have been there for you know a year two years, three years. And they've just waited for us to come. -Three, two, one. -We push! berlin, make some noise! I think we're in the 50s now, Iike 53, maybe 54 out of 1 30-something shows. So we're nearly halfway there. You sing. Sing it. Just a natural, really, aren't I? I mean, I don't mess about, that's the main thing for me. I think the Europe trip so far has just flown by. When you think about tour rehearsals and everything... -...it seems such a Iong time ago now. -I know. Do you remember when we met at boot camp? Yeah. I just saw you darting around in your beanie every day and just being like, " Hey, I'm Harry." Those were the days, man. NiaII was the loudest person at boot camp, without fail. Wherever NiaII was, there was a guitar there was noise and there was loads of people around him. -He was so popular. -Yeah, I remember. When we first got together, there was always little clashes. Yeah. But there wasn't anything huge. Do you remember when we went to the coffee shop and Zayn didn't turn up? -There was a serious conversation. -I remember that. There was a serious conversation about kicking Zayn out of the band. Oh, my God. Imagine. NiaII would have to be the mysterious one. I don't know. I think if I wasn't in One Direction right now I would be working in a factory or being a fireman. -That's quite funny. -Yeah. Why did you wanna be a fireman? I don't know. I liked the idea of saving someone. What about the factory? well, that's just because me dad worked there. would you have not considered opening your own bakery? I was a great baker. Fish! Yes! -Yeah! -bloody hell! Fish! Fish! Fish! The little sprinter, face on the floor. hen we're on tour they're still normal boys that lik e playing games. That's the wrong way! Won't stop me, eh? am their dad on the road. e have a very good working relationship. he only issue have is they're all a pain in the ass. Nothing to see here, sir! hey're pranksters. They love playing tricks on us. Back to the dressing room. Some people might look at it and say this is not very professional with all the clown acting and jumping and fighting and all that kind of stuff but that's just part and parcel of what One Direction is. I don't even have a Iicence! Sorry, I can't hear you! Put me down! Guys! Guys! Stop. -Sorry, mate! -Hey, guys! Six minutes till the biggest show of the whole tour and here they are taking bloody golf buggies. Hey, guys! Guys, come on, we gotta go! We just try and contain them. got the key! Get to work! his is Jeroen. s this Niall hat's up Holland We want a sea of orange in the Ziggo arena tonight. Amsterdam. We're going orange. Orange face paint. Orange clothes. Orange and only orange. Let's do it. So Harry are you going to wear orange then Can't tell you, it's a surprise. 've seen a few fans outside with orange on. I don't know if there's gonna be loads but I'm hoping there will be. Good evening, Amsterdam! Ready, steady clap. Everybody clap your hands. Together! Yeah! -Yeah, that's the most, yeah. -The Nike shop? Louis... -...shall we go in here? -Zayn, shall we go in here? -Oh, my God! -Think a few fans have just spotted us. probably tweeted. relax, everybody. Come on. will you all calm down now? There you have it. This is what happens. Step back. Step back, please. One Direction! One Direction! One Direction! We don't come out that often so we don't really see, Iike, this sort of side of it that often. So when we do, it's all a bit strange. -I Iove you! -Some girl was just trying to literally grab my ear. I think she wanted to keep it, but I was like: "That's mine, love, you can't have that, unfortunately. It's connected." Let's go, go, go. Where'd the glasses come from today? Somebody chucked them on stage. I put them on. These are sick. -Look, they're red on the inside. -Nice. -Look at that. -Quite cool, huh? You look like some sort of sexy secretary. Let's move out, men! e've got days off scheduled. Hey, have fun going home. See you later, yeah? Have a fun flight home, you. I'II try but I'II miss you too much, Liam! See you later! hello! spend every single day with these lads. t's really weird to not have the other four lads around me. But do actually look forward to going home. Sing it, O2! Let me hear you, London! How we doing in the back? So baby if you say You want me to drive o KFC I Iove chicken. I Iike holmes chapel. Pretty much every other part of my Iife has changed apart from coming down here. It's just exactly the same. My first kiss was down there. I kissed a girl, Iike, a bit further down. We were, Iike, against a tree. It was pretty steamy. Come on, come on. He just missed an open goal! Oh, we're gonna catch this. e don't realise how much we appreciate our family and hometown until you're gone. This is my little room in the house. Isn't that just the creepiest thing ever? For the first few nights I was here, I came in every night and I opened the door and I was like, "Jesus." I thought there was somebody in my room, but it was just me. "Oh, it's just me again." I'm pretty sure this is the only job that I wasn't sacked from. If there's any customers around any nice-Iooking ladies, I just pop out a few piano skills. And just try and impress while in my glamorous Toys " R" Us uniform. AII right, there we are, look. On a lunchbox. Next to Spider-Man. It's quite funny, it seems like a lifetime ago. hen we get a day off lik e to kind of just be left alone to just relax and chill out. his is lik e my graffiti room. just decided that wanted to spray-paint the walls. t's cool man because nobody can tell me can't. Could you imagine if wanted to do this at my house at home My mom would be, Iike, " No way. You're not spray-painting on my walls. I don't think so." Got my own house. I'm like, " Course I'm gonna spray-paint on the wall." work ed at the bak ery for about two and a half years. There you go. I still got it, you know. One seventy-six and your receipt. work ed with old ladies. Bye. Very nice old ladies. -Barbara! -Harry! Hi. She's the one who used to pinch my bum on the side. Yes, I did. Look out! -I'II pinch your bum a bit more. -See? You know you meet a lot of people who kind of see lik e a media perception of you. And it's just nice coming here and spending a bit of time with people who know me. Most important part of having time off. Being able to come home and see me mother me father my brother Greg. Lord, may Denise and Greg be united in love forever. never had any problem going up and asking me father anything. The birds and the bees, the one-two-threes. He left here as a 1 6-year-old. He knows more about life than me really now. I come from a very rural background. still live in a rural background. He's going out and seeing the world. I can't give him advice. He knows where he's at. This is the fifth day he's actually been home since he left two and a half years ago for X Factor. Yeah. -Hi, love. -Good to see you, my darling! How are you? Are you all right? Long time since I saw Louis. I know. I see you every day when I walk out the toilet because you're on the wall. Goodbye, my love. So lovely to see you. I'II get my earplugs then and I'II come to see your shows. Yeah, that'd be lovely. I don't think we get to see him enough. There's a Iot of things said about the mom's spirit and feeling towards it. But dads do feel it as well, especially at 1 7. You'd love to have that son around you. Your watch! could I have a look at that watch you got on? AII I had to offer him was to take him drinking and playing snooker. I didn't really have an awful lot to offer him but that's part of your establishment as a young man. And that time went. I've missed it. I've missed it. You popping back in tomorrow? -Yeah. Yeah. -Yeah. Yeah. He's the only fellow in the family. He's gone. AII right, Iet me get ready and then I'II be up, talk to you. Got a.... Got a show today. I'm exhausted. Let's go! One Direction just released a new video for their single "One ay Or Another. " he 1 D boys flew to Africa as part of their inv olvement with Comic Relief. hey're donating the cash they would have spent on a video to a charity that strives to create a world free from poverty. he success of the song was extraordinary. hey raised well over a million pounds. And the great thing is that they saw when they were out in Africa just how many individual lives that that will make a huge difference to. pizza! pizza! pizza! It sounds like they're shouting " pizza." Are they? European fans lik e they're just crazy. They don't come out in the tens and hundreds. They come out in thousands. just wish that could just go along each person and just lik e chat to them. ith how busy the schedule is it's really frustrating that you can't stop and talk to them and tell them what they've done for us. Five minutes, we're on stage! One Direction! One Direction! -Three, two, one. -We push! milan, make some noise! Thank you so much for having us! We've been One Direction! This one's for you. Thank you. still get a buzz every time go out on stage. still come off with the biggest adrenaline rush. hen get to come on the bus and stay up with my mates and laugh about things that we did on stage. Do you know when I taped you up in the middle of the show with the black tape? Is that what you did? I know, it failed miserably. You should have just gone with it. Thanks for your help, mate. One girI- - That is... -...awful. -Putrid. It is absolutely putrid. Own up. Own up. -Oh, my God. -Who's farted? NiaII? NiaII. You know, sometimes when it gets really smelly, NiaII doesn't admit it. -Do you know what I mean? -hold on. Who's the first to admit their farts? You should be proud of a smell like that. -It was a creeper. -No, it wasn't. Man, I would admit that smell. Let's call it. NiaII, NiaII you've been outed. Zayn. I hate to do this, dude. I just only need you for a bridge. What time is it now? You've been asleep for 1 0 minutes. -I'm sorry, dude. -No, I'II get up. AII right. I appreciate it. Recording this third album has been extremely hard. We've been waking up in the morning and going straight to the studio. Then going to the arena doing a show. And then going straight back to the studio after a show. So it's been really tough for us this time. AII of my 1 0 minute slumber. We have to get " Best Song Ever." It felt like it was the next morning and you were already waking me up and I was like, "Oh, my God." One, two, three. Give me one time short on the "ever." My bad. What is it again? his time we felt musically stronger. But at the same time that pressure's back on you know ill we match the second one We're about to take me home. I'm naked recording. smells like man in here. smells like a mixture of boy and man. f you could imagine yourself being taken away at 1 6 or 1 7 years of age and then thrown into the spotlight. We're incredibly excited to announce that we are gonna be doing a worldwide stadium tour in 201 4. People are constantly around them. And to hold their nerve and cool and enjoy it and perform it's a big big ask. Zayn's recording all night tonight, then it's you and Louis tomorrow. here's definitely times where you're not, Iike... But then you kind of just have to step back for lik e a second and try and weigh out the pros and the cons. t's lik e-- t's a no-brainer. I don't wanna do anything else. f you actually sit and think about it we've done some amazing things. But to be honest with you 'm still trying to live a normal life. hat's exactly what we are. e're just normal 1 9 20 21-year-olds you know just going out and mess about lik e any other guy at university or whatever. We're not doing anything different. That's what I mean by us being normal. Our jobs just happen to be abnormal. Bedtime for me. Bedtime for me. don't lik e people saying "You're famous. " just struggle with the word. t just gives you lik e no substance. It's not Iike, " He was a really nice guy" or, " He was really funny." It becomes this thing where it's like, " He's famous." And it's just a weird.... I hate it. worry about meeting somebody who's truthfuI and is 1 00 percent just there because of me. I just don't like the idea of somebody liking me because of this and not because of me. And it's hard to detract and think: " If I didn't have all this, would this person like me or not?" Come on, ladies and gentlemen, in we go. Show starts at 8:30. Get involved. Come on, inside. Get your T-shirts and your drinks and stuff. Get in, come on. We got a show to put on. We're going to try and fool the fans. So 'm gonna dress up as a security guard who works at the O 2. holy moly. Are you meant to be sitting there? girls, you're looking for your seats? B three, just up here, girls. This is row B, ladies. -This is your row. -Thank you very much. -Big fans, girls, yeah? -Yeah. -Are you a big fan? -Yeah. Who's your favourite? Darren? EarpIugs, ladies? There you go. couple of sexy earpIugs for you. Because they're not great, these boys. They can't really sing, they can't really dance. What's your favourite song? "What Makes You beautiful." Never heard that. Look at me, I'm not the greatest looking fellow, so.... I'm not beautiful at all, really. I seen them the other night, they're not the best. I think they're crap. Why do you Iike One Direction? They're perfect. They're perfect? Far from it, love. I tell you what they're not great at all. I don't know why you even like One Direction! They're crap! AII go home! I quit this job it's crap! I'm going back to glasgow. That is absolutely nuts. Mak es me a bit uncomfortable. I'm actually scared of you. You look like a fat russell Brand. I want to look like you when I'm older because I think you look quite interesting. One, two, three, four. O2 Arena! London, I wanna kiss every single one of you! Go crazy. One, two three, four! Are there any bears in Sweden? We need one of them big long machetes. Where are we putting the tent? -Set up tent here. -Over here? -Yeah. -And make the fire here. Let's just clear some of this. I'm on pine cone duty. To be fair, when we make tents I'm normally the one who just pretends to be busy the whole time. Oh, it's good... -...that the instructions are in Swedish. -Don't need instructions, Liam. -Here we go. This is the one we need. -Yeah, this is the floor. What? You put it through the things or this? -What you do with this? -And this bit goes on there, I think. Stick the- - clip the little siIver-- I think we've done the wrong one. Looking good, lads. Because then the other bit goes over the top of it. -No, you have to-- -This is not going very well. That little hole. Oh, there we go. I've smashed it. Liam's nearly clocked it in about five minutes. Has anybody got a hammer? Where are you making the fire? Here. Oh, thanks, lads. Yeah. Cheers. You're not doing a tepee fire? Listen, forget what they taught you in Scouts. We're doing it the Tommo way. Now we know how to make camp fires. Louis, you idiot! Right. I think we'II just burn it like that now. Do you think if one of us wasn't in the band, though, the band would be this big? -No. -No. definitely not. I don't think so either. I think we each balance each other out. Yeah. I think when we look back at this no matter what we do after this, we'II never, ever beat this. Yeah, but isn't that scary? -If the best times of your life are now... -Don't you think it's a bit... -...that's crazy. -...of a Benjamin Button thing, though? That we get to do it backwards. Do you know what I mean? We get to go after this and then have a proper, normal life. Just have, Iike, a wife and kids. Do you know what I mean? Don't you think that's quite nice? That's what I Iook forward to if I Iook forward to anything. What's mad is that one day we won't be doing this. -I know. -Yeah. So do you think, Iike we're still gonna be mates? -I think so, yeah. -I think we will as well. Do you want my e-maiI now or shall I give it to you later? I think we've gone through... -...too much together. -Yeah. We'II always be part of each other, Iike, growing up. I'm just glad that we did it right from the start how we wanted to do it. Yeah. There's been so many bands that have come and gone. And no one really talks about them anymore. I'd Iike to be like, remembered for the records that we did. Do you know what? It'd just be amazing to be remembered like, even as a mum telling her daughter: "The boy band at my time, One Direction, they just had fun." Do you know what I mean? "They were just normal guys but terrible, terrible dancers." Yeah. Are they down here? I'm excited to see what's gonna happen. Two, one. Everybody, three, two, one. So I'm gonna just get in the car up here. Come on, girls. Can't believe actually today's here. have a present for you. There you go. -congratulations. -Thank you so much. Thank you. -My pleasure. -Thank you. The key. Right. Are we ready? It's big, Mama! Oh, it's lovely. Oh, it's gorgeous, isn't it? e'll go upstairs. This is your room. Okay, you know what? Don't dirty the windows. hello? Hello sunshine. How are you hello, you all right, Mum? t's just so nice to hear your v oice. Yours too. What's going on? 've just rung to say your house is amazing. -You happy -More than happy, Zayn. t's lik e a dream come true. It's all right. That's why I did it, didn't I? I told you that I wanted to. know you always used to say. " I'II always get you a house, Mum, when I'm older." I know you did, but.... That's the best thing, isn't it, about what we're doing? You work so hard, Zayn, and I just.... 'm so proud of you. Very very proud of you. I can't even thank you enough for what you've done for us. t's all right Mum. You don't have to cry. You're just happy, aren't you? Happy tears. It's all good. I'm happy. I'm very happy. well, get off the phone then before I start crying. All right then. Okay. Love you. See you. -talk to you later. AII right, bye-bye. -Bye. t's amazing man. That's literally why I auditioned for the show in the start. Like, I just wanted to be able to give back to my mum and stuff. So it's wicked to be able to do that. It's really cool. Tonight is the biggest show we've ever done. I'm just throwing it out there. e are playing to 65,000 people tonight. It's just insane. Good luck. Look at the amount of policemen... -...we've got. -I can't get over how many police bikes there are. They've got 40 policemen on us and then they've got like 1 000 policemen on the streets. It's quite scary, but it's quite fun at the same time. We literally have like a small army. We do have the army. Let's take over this place. What is that girl doing out the top of the car? With an english hat on. She is a literal rebel. I'm gonna marry her one day. cool. Man, this place is huge. -Imposing, is what it is. -It's big. Just looking at the size of the place just gives that extra edge to the nerve in a way because there's like double the people to impress. How's it going? Hey, man. Wow, this is big. Let's have a look. This is mad. Bad idea. Nice day. Oh, my God. This place is huge. This is mad. Sick. his is absolutely mad. can't wait to get out here and play. I just wanna get on with it. hello. t was the most exciting thing in the world. I really wish my parents were here, actually, to see it because they don't get to see a Iot of us and to see us doing something like this and see what it's all about.... But it's good we're getting it in the film, so they'II get to see anyway. So everyone's a winner. You know if we'd got ask ed two years ago what we thought would happen we never would've said this. hen think about how lucky we actually are to be in this position.... It's, Iike, probably one in a million chance to be where I am. -Three, two, one. -We push! f one of us just didn't happen to go to our audition then you know, it could be so different. e are definitely the five Iuckiest dudes. Good evening, Mexico City! Oh, my God. One of the best things about all of this the fact that have now made four new best friends. Mexico! e're all there for each other and I think that's why it works. t's cool man. You don't get that if you're a solo artist. Now we're just five brothers, if you Iike because we spend more time with each other than we do our own families. e just feel lucky that there's not one guy in the group who's an absolute ass. You guys have been right there since day one. And it means so much to us because none of this would happen without you. The fans completely changed our lives. e are so thankful. And I think it's important that we try and let fans know that this is a teamwork between us and them. We've got the best fans in the world. don't think we'll ever get fully used to it because it's all just a bit too mad. We just go about it day to day, and we don't take it too seriously. And that's the main sort of thing that we all live by that keeps us you know, as us. I couId just do this for the rest of my Iife. just love it so much. You know 'd do it till was lik e weathered and people were asking why I was still alive and stuff. Like Keith Richards. hat a gig though. I mean, we even got fireworks. Yeah, amazing. You know what, Liam? You are one of the worst-smeIIing people I've ever known. -Yeah. -could we have a nod or a shake from the camera if I'm smelly. Am I smelly? Sing it! Last time, O2. Make some noise. Sing it! Let me see those hands. Come on, everyone. You guys sing! Am I better when I'm naked? I Iike being free. I recorded "What Makes You beautiful" in my boxers. Who gets to go on the O2 stage in their dressing gown? Not many so 'm gonna live that dream boys. And 'm gonna go out there and rock me little socks off. Thanks, everyone! Free hugs. Free. Free hugs, anyone? I Iove you. You'II give me a hug, won't you? Yeah. Another hug. And one more? One more hug? please. One more? please. The most important thing is not to pull it. careful! We've got a bomb. Oh, that wasn't-- I did not pull that. Three, two, one, go! What happened? I've got no brakes! I've got no brakes! This is going okay! We're gonna be okay! You do realise you're not getting out of this? But you do realise you'II be good at crossing the road? Do you see it? Musician's dressing room. When there's none of them in it, we trash it. Liam's still my fav ourite... -... I guess. -Yeah? Yeah. How's it going? Hi, babe. I Iove you. Banana bombs! No! No! No! Hang on, we've got something here. It's in my finger. It actually, proper, is in your bum. My ass is on the line. Are you ready? Not yet! Are you ready? Are you ready? I'm ready! What..? Are you there? I'm ready. Bunny, is she there! ? Sister where are you? Sister! Exit / Entrance Sister! Short Peace According to the onmyou writings... When a furniture goes through a hundred years, they change and acquire a soul Deceiving people's minds. It's said these are called tsukumogami ( From Tsukumogamiki ) Tsukumo I've sadly lost my way inside this rainstorm. Please, I will like you to let me rest here until the rain stops. What does this mean? What's going on? ? Here and there, throwaway ? ? Here and there, throwaway ? ? Broke, it's useless and disabled ? ? Broken it's simply useless ? ? Here and there, throwaway ? ? Here and there, throwaway ? Some fine umbrellas are these! I'll borrow one! I'm going home! I'm going home! I'm going home! Am I pretty? Pretty... Pretty... every one said... But... The taste of people change in any moment... What is out of fashion is thrown in the drawer and never used. Hey... Am I Pretty? What a soft feeling! Although it's a little worn out It's ok! I'll borrow them! Beautiful. I'm just a traveler passing by. Lost my way under the rain. It's seems I entered your house without permission. I'm sorry. Will you let me go out soon? That's a very nasty smell. Even here it's all battered. Up to be thrown in the dump indeed. But, before that... I won't forget... Before becoming useless, were wonderfully useful to people... Good work. Hinoyoujin ( Beware of Fire ) Japan Edo Era (1603-1868) This is the story of Yaoya Oshichi ( ca. 1667 – 29 March 1683 ) O-ume? There's nothing I can help you yet? I'm sorry Princess, I'll be back as soon as I drop this. O-Waka-chan! Matsuki-chan! Eat. O-Waka-chan! Matsuki-chan! O-ume you are not quite good. Right? I'll go see. Sada-don! Sadakichi-don! Yes. Where's the fire? There's anyone on the rooftop? I'm on my way. It's in the Honjo district. You know? Also the wind comes from the northwest. Don't worry. Matsuki-san? The son of the neighbor! Isn't he? ! The love of Matsuki-san for fire will give him trouble. Right? Matsuki! Where did he go? Told you to keep an eye on him if the fire bell was heard. Where did the keeper go? Send people to the fire chief place. Tell him I said not to let him in to the place of fire. It took a lot of dealing. You heard it? Dear, will you talk about that again? It's because Naritaya-san has a reputation of being meticulous. Right? Even that is a fanatic of arrangements. Well, O-wakama introduce yourself. My name is Wakama. She's being taught to act normal in a general way, bur... It's because she don't know the meaning of " hard work " O-Waka -chan! Matsuki-chan! Son of a bitch! " This body of mine have I received for my parents... ..And to keep it safe from harm is my first filial duty..." Don't you know? Matsukichi! You are not just some clerk sitting on a reception to have irezumi. You are disinherited! O-Waka-chan. Matsuki-chan! What happened? I've just been said by my father that I'm disinherited. But... Matsuki-san... You are his only son. Aren't you? It doesn't matter. I was being forced to... From now on, finally I'll become a firefighter. You were like this since you were a child. Matsuki-san. But... if that happens... I... I want to see you Matsuki-san. I want to see you as soon as possible. Don't worry. I'll come to see you. Matsuki-chan. Did you forget it? What about? The promise we made when we were children. When we were children? Yes. When we were children. So the wedding is the 3th of the next month isn't it? Before that, she must go to Kobikichou to see her grandmother and say something about the Obi. I wonder if I misheard it.... Matsuki-san. O-ume! You all right? Run! Hurry! You are in the way! You are in the way! Out of my way! Matsu! Where's Matsuki? Yes! Boss! I'm here. The origin of the fire is near your neighborhood. Can you climb the rooftops and give instructions to demolish the houses? Trust me please! My house... O-Waka-chan house too... In any moment it will take the left of that store in the southeast. If it surpass to the northeast it will be dangerous. At the other side of the street there is a tenement house If the fire spread to there It will reach the Honganji temple. Understood. I'll tell the boss. Waka-chan. This and this pillar only Then tie the joist. O-Waka-chan! O-Waka-chan! Matsuki-san? ! Matsuki-san? ! Damn it! It cannot be.... That house.... O-Waka-chan! Don't go there! O-Waka-chan! All right! Pull! That's all you got? Come on! Don't go up there! Matsuki-san! You understand, the human language? I heard rumors about you... monster... Kill me.... Beast.... GAMBO It's getting a lot better. Isn't it? Excuse me, town chief, but... It's said! To put the wife to take care... Are Ogami-sama's orders. Even if he says so.... Hotoke-san is praying for mercy. Don't worry. Ogami-sama will give us a quick answer... I'm sure it will send us armed troops. Help! Well... In this town... there's nothing left to take. In that case we shouldn't be helping wandering samurais... That demon... could be a white bear? No, its 10 feet tall, and it's a red big monster, demon like. A monster... We are begging you to help us. Exterminate the demon, please! Since then, that demon, night after night keeps coming... Kidnaps young girls, and destroys everything, Already in this town, that's the only girl left. We are not able to hold that girl any longer. There's nothing to do. No one can match with that thing... Kao! O-samurai-sama, I beg you! In the name of God and Buddah, we depend on you, Samurai-sama. A bear! There's nothing to do... nothing to do... A demon came. Save me... please... Gambo? ( gunbo ) You are too... a child. It's dangerous to go alone! I wonder if it is God's messenger. Kill me... I beg you.... Kill me... This are the demon seeds... Before they birth... Kill me I beg you! This is terrible.... Terrible... Please stop it! Don't look away. Pray! You prayed for help... You must believe until the end... But... If you pray... Pray for death! Devil! Shoot! Gambo. Thank you! What....? Explain it! What is this white bear? I think.... You may not believe it... Well, when you get discharged... what will you do? Jin-san has been here for so long, he well deserves a big payroll. If that's so... It's good. Right? What? Already expended it? Just got 30 acres of vineyard. Wine? Yes. If I can make it, I'll send you some. That, will be a pleasure. If we make through alive... Today we will only look for garbage again? Bring a basket, a sandwich or something... It's like going hiking... In a bleak place though.... A farewell to Arms ( Buki Yo Saraba ) Nice catch. The UAV is back! The camera! The camera! Prepare that one for the next launch. Yes! Yankee, good job. Under control. Report status? Arriving in about 5 minutes. Before arrival we will launch an UAV. Understood... About that protective suits... no matter how you look it, look awfully hot. It comes with aircon, you know. You fool. Look at the monitor. Take a look before you drop, idiot! I was looking down... - No, you wasn't! - I was! - At all... - Was my fault. God... so inefficient... Well... Let's go! Please enter on the collapsed tunnel. In about 500 meters there's the place we are searching for. Ram, don't run. Male, pay attention to your steps. Yes. Lieutenant, what happened? Don't worry. Male stepped over a landmine. Really? In a place like that? You are not scared. Aren't you? Leave me alone... Lieutenant, be careful please. Right now a heat source has become visible. Ok! Let's change location. Everyone, listen! There is something lurking in the ruins at the west. It's not like they are unarmed people. We will take a walk before exploring underground. Let's start the procedure as usual. Launch the UAV. The enemy is already moving. Hurry! Male here. I'm going up in the white building on the right. Gimlet, understood. There you go! Course Fixed... Jin here. The rockets on the intersection are deployed. Ram here. Sniper point secured. Over. You were fast Ram. Finnish the preparations and stand by. Yankee... can you give me position status? The enemy is moving to the east. You'll be able to see it when it goes out to the street. You'll be able to shoot a hellfire? As always... Ok. Wait for mi instructions. Male, how's going? Male here. I'm moving. Three drones on the air. Understood. Jin, report status. This is the last one. When this starts, they will fly to the objective. Keep going. Yankee. Over. Yankee here. Drop the hellfire immediately. Understood. Dropping the hellfire. Yankee... that's all? Yes. It's a GUNK, isn't it? Everyone listen! Gimlet here. The bombing failed. The enemy is getting closer. As shown on the screen it's a self-supported tank. But, we will proceed as in practice. I will move to position too. Male, until then, be the look out. Male here. Understood. I should be able to see it. It's coming! Marking it with the laser. What is he doing? Male, are you ok? I marked it with the laser! It looks like we finished the job. Male, life check. All green. Male. System check. It made me run... All green. Let's start. Understood. Dropping one. Yeah, come... 4 seconds until impact... 3... 2 1 Male here. ''Seeker" destroyed. Moving to the next building. Ok. Male here, dropping the second bomb. Good. Come here! Time until impact. 4... 3... 2... 1... Male, are you safe? Moving to the second shooting position. Ram! Forced discharge! Calm down. Ram! Ram... I'm still alive... I knew it... Jin, fill up the holes. Cover me. Gimlet! Jin, I trust you... Understood. Good! Jin-san, hurry up! Jin, how's going the preparation of the saturation attack? Not yet... Shit! Gimlet! Yankee here. Hellfire ready. A little more. Ok, Gimlet. Do it! Understood. Yankee, can you see it? Yes. Do it! Dropping hellfire. Started! Shit! How's that, bastard! You draw his attention! Ram, shoot! Shut up! The GONKU is now inoperative. Every one. Good job. What happened? Hey! As expected... it's underground. Let's work. Here is today's crucial moment. Good night, this is Tokyo Rose. Your jokes are hard to understand. Receiving you clear. Yankee. From now on we will split and start the search. Ram and Male search east side. Ok. We will turn to the west. Understood. Are you going to search with Male's RC? Right? It's just for precaution. I know... - Ok, ok. - They make a good team, you know. Jin-san, I wonder if even now you are being discharged, you want to stay. Hold on, Captain. Before when we were running under the bombing... you know I could have done it alone. Don't you? But... we are trained to don't let no one behind. Fool! Nobody is going to praise you... " Thank you " you should say... Male here. I found the main point. It was true... there's a special warhead... Male here. Entered inside the TL. Good. Start the access, I'll go as soon as possible. Yankee. Can you immediately put together a log? Yankee? What's going on? Yankee? Gimlet here, over! Male, reply! Gimlet here. Male here. Can't contact Yankee. I'll send a scout team to the surface to investigate. To the surface? Hey! Male! Didn't earn your points yet? You know, we are a team today. Jin. - Male said something yet? - Jin-san, Yankee is not responding. I have a bad feeling, we must go up immediately. Ram! The joints... are not moving... There's another GUNK. Take cover! Gimlet! Deploy the launchers! Male! Are you hurt? Ram's suit is freeze. Smoke! Male! Wait! Even if you launch them here... Discharge! Ram! Damn it! Gimlet! Where's Ram? Was evaporated... Gimlet! We have signal from the UAV camera. Yankee! Yankee! Are you alive? Yankee! Jin here. I just snaked behind. Use the EMP grenades! Understood. Male and I are going to be the distraction. We will do it on three. When the EMP hit it... it will shut down. Male, you'll destroy the TL. We can't take back the warhead under this circumstances. In that case, to destroy it is our mission. Ok? Let's go... 1... 2... 3... Male! Are you ok? Male? Male! It was done? No... Just... Destroy the TL immediately! If you lock the fuse like that, the booster will burn it down. You are going to roast a warhead. Yes. Jin here. I'm going to disable the GUNK's launcher. Please, destroy the main weapon from there. Male here, entered in the TL. I'll report back when the launcher preparation is ready. Hurry up Male! If the GUNK recovers mobility, it will start blasting immediately. Gimlet! Before that, please, destroy the main gun! Sorry, was in trouble. I'm in a blind spot here. Let me see if I can do something... Male here. The ceiling is blocked by debris. The booster cannot ignite! I'm going out to remove it! Ok! Watch out! Hurry! Gimlet! Still nothing? The GUNK it's going to reboot! I'm sorry, was trapped. Male! Jin! Male! Run! Jin! Jin! Run! Jin! Captain Gimlet... Are you ok? Can you get up? Don't panic! First extinguisher, and then escape. Yes... escape... Male! Hey! Male! Hey, are you ok? Captain! Be more careful. Enemy presence: Terminated. Destroy mode: Off. GUNK AP here. Damage on main gun and TV tracking system. Returning to base. Bastard! Wait! Are you running away? Enemy presence: Unimportant. Recognized as civilian. What? ! This is a restricted combat zone. Civilians, please, leave immediately. Son of a bitch! Bacteriologic contamination over 1 kilogram. Please, look here. In today wars it is rational to be on our side. If you read this pamphlet, you may understand it. Don't play with me! Bastard! Now if ! Not yet! Now if ! Now if ! If you now do! What's this ? these ready It's ready ! I will sister Where are you ? Sister ? Sister ! Sister ! ShortPeace(2013) Sincetheeighteenthcentury,there arefundamentalforces complementary opposing calls the "Yin and Yang " I strayed during storm Please , I ask refuge overnight What's this? You Get comfortable here yourself at home My umbrella was broken this is broken and useless we will have to throw it away Get comfortable here Oh , That strangest umbrella But are all broken ! Huh .. ? Ajiagajia ! Ajiagajia ! Thank you ! Better be back ... I do bastente good, right beautiful We are always pleasant but people do not care as before we have our Inner rincor not It's way too They are very cute although they are quite damaged by use the fix it A turned out really well I'm just passing this tramp I estravien the storm So come in for shelter at home without permission I offer my apologies Now I can go ? There's Tore back in his home! Absolutely incredible! In all my days! Here we get a wonderful throw from a responsible champion! It's absolutely fantastic. It's a triumph for Stian Hermansen! For a wonderful final stage. - Look at him. - He's hungry. This was delightful. It was an exceptionally tough looking game. But we have a boy who refused to give up. And that on the touchline proves to be a champion of responsibility. - Brilliant. - Tore is where he should be. And you can finally sleep, Stian, with a clear conscience. - You're good at taking care of Tore. - Yes very. Goodnight, Stian. Subtitles by Squashy Hat (2015) 7-3-4-7. 4-9-3-1. 4-3-1-9. 0-7-7-4. 7-3-4-1. 7-4-4. 7-5-7-5. - Did you get that? - Yeah, I got it. So I'm listening to the radio the other day, Radio 2, NPR Radio or something... There's some fucking guy, scientist or something. Real sick bastard. You listening? Avidly. Says he measured out the remains, the cremated remains of a dead man. Measured out the minerals left behind, you know? The iron phosphates, the... Whatever it is we're made up of. Says he added it all up to the cost of $4.40. You believe that? Yeah, I guess so. $4.40. Burnt down man's worth less than a fucking Big Mac, all you can say is "I guess so"? Says give this poor bastard what he's got coming. Authentic? Yeah. Ten minutes. Start the count. All eyes are on the newcomer, Rainer... Can I get you something? Two shots. Scotch. Got money on the game? Nah, spread's terrible. Here. One for the road. No, thanks. Been sober for three years. Interesting career. You do something long enough. You close your eyes, you just can't think of doing something else. They found your accounts. Where'd you spend it? Look, man, I just wanted to start over. Quit the Agency. Have your drink. It could have been anybody walk through your door. Yeah. But it was you. Go clean up your mess. Three minutes. Start the count. No, please, God. Why did you do that? Why? Why did you do that? Why did you do that? What a shame. Have you lost your fucking mind? - She's just a kid. Jesus Christ. - The fuck, Emerson? No loose ends. How long have you been out in the field? It should say there, in the file. I want to hear what you say. A long time. I didn't know you smoked. When did you start? Right after I quit drinking. Why did you stop drinking? I was a drunk. What would you say is your current disposition? How do I feel? How do you feel about the girl? She asked a very good question. - Which was? - Why? Well, that's a question that needs to be asked. We are not sociopaths. We're vulnerable to qualms of conscience like anyone else. We face these decisions every day, and we vote up or down. Like everything else, it has all been distilled down to zeros and ones. They have asked for me to describe your emotional state in as detailed a manner as possible. To determine whether you are fit to remain in the field. I hate that it had to turn out this way. Me taking care of the girl, me taking care of the police. What you need, what we're willing to offer, is a change of pace. We have a station for you to look after. Blackleg Miner. One of the smaller terminals. - England? - Yeah. Far the fuck out, middle of nowhere. Old American Army base. Officially it doesn't exist. Unofficially, it's used to broadcast numbers to our European field agents. - How long? - Until your head is right. You'll be babysitting a broadcaster. Civilian, right? Yeah, cryptology specialist. And one of the very few people who can process code at this level. You and another team, alternating shifts. Three days each. You keep the station safe, you keep the code safe. Whatever it takes. Okay. Do the job, Emerson. I don't wanna look like an ass for sticking my neck out on this one. 'Cause I've got nothing left, nothing to keep you from the wolves. 0-7-3. 4-5-5. 8-1 -7. 6-9-0-1 -0. Sorry. Little last-minute broadcast come through. I'll inform the authorities. You do that. - Wanna hear my latest theory? - Sure. We're coordinating troop movements in Afghanistan. - Long-term tactical formations. - Yeah. Illegal missions unsanctioned by the UN, that's why it's all hush-hush. Could be. - It's good, right? - Yeah. Maybe it's all just some sort of awful experiment. Stuff two people in a box, see how long it takes for one of us to kill the other. - That's nice. - Give me something. We're up two hours early next shift. - You guys been waiting long? - No, you're good. - Good shift? - Yeah. Got to catch up on sitting alone for 70 hours. It was nice. You know, my contract's up pretty soon. I was thinking of re-upping. Nothing else you'd rather do? No. I was recruited by a software company in college. The kind that makes apps for phones. What's wrong? Pay is no good? No, it was great, actually. Obscene, to be honest with you. Why didn't you do it, then? I don't know. I don't know, I guess I just felt like it was silly, it wasn't really that important, you know? I guess I like the idea of serving my country. Even if I don't know exactly what it is I do. What about you? You never wanted to do anything else? There comes a time when you do a thing long enough, you can't really imagine doing anything else, you know? So, if I stay here, I'm stuck with you forever? Yes. Be careful what you wish for. You're doing it again, aren't you? What? You have that look that you get. What look? You're squinting one eye as if you're taking aim with a gun. - You're gonna be late. - It's horrifying. I'm sure you're great fun at parties. Seriously, you don't have to think about killing everyone that you ever meet. - I don't. - Okay. So, just for fun, what would happen if I wasn't here on Monday? Has there been a horrible train accident? No. Train's here. I'm just not on it. It wouldn't be fun. Come on, what would happen? I'd have to make a phone call. You'd have to make a phone call? I would make a phone call. - No fun. - Company man. Hi. - How you doing? - Good. You should have seen your face back there. What? When I didn't get off the train right away, you looked like you were about to have a heart attack. - How was your weekend? - Good. I had a great weekend, thanks for asking. So you got that text? Confirming the... What I already knew. Yeah, I got it. Did you get mine? I was trying to make a joke about the White House Correspondents' dinner, but my phone spell-checked it into whorehouse correspondents' dinner. Spell-checks are usually pretty accurate. Right. I'm sure there's a whorehouse correspondents' dinner somewhere. Somewhere, yeah. I know, I know, I got it. No phones inside. Hey, if it were up to me, I couldn't care less. Gone. Done. Okay? Should be out by now. Yeah. Probably just got a last-minute broadcast. What? Nothing. One sec. No... I can't hear. Okay. Eardrums. - Stay quiet, okay? - Okay. Stay quiet. Stay here. Be quiet, okay? Katherine. - We're clear. - Are you sure? We'd know by now if somebody else were in here. Whose hand is that? I don't know. - Can you hear? - Yeah. If they know the code from before, they're gonna come back in. They're gonna use it again. No, the codes change with every shift. They could have had David and Meredith's code but not ours. Where are they? Take a deep breath. We're gonna walk. We're gonna call for help. Okay? "Cardiff, Aberdeen, Glasgow, Belfast, Oxford, Slough." Operator. - Blackleg Miner Station. - Go ahead. The station's been compromised. Requesting immediate evacuation. One moment. - Evac authorized. - ETA? Four hours. For now, standard protocol. Secure location. Retire asset. Repeat. The code has been compromised. Retire your broadcaster. Did you copy that? Got it. What? What'd they say? Four hours. Sit tight. Did you hear that? They're drilling through. Let's go check the security cameras. Find out what happened to David and Meredith. Shit. All the cameras are down. Audio's on a separate file. - Yeah. - Pull it up. Here. Nothing. What time was that? - One hour ago. - Earlier. Fuck you! Do you wanna be a fucking hero? Go back further. We just gotta hold out a couple of hours till Emerson gets here and then I hope... - Quiet! - Get off of me! - Where is she? - Fuck you! You go get her. Tell her to come out. Tell her to come out right now! Take a fucking seat! We know you have to open the door from the inside. Can you get her to do that for us? It'll be a lot easier. Fuck you. I need to get inside the broadcast room. I need the girl to open the door. I need her to take care of some numbers for me. Now this is something only she can do. And I'm kinda on a tight schedule. They didn't know about the change in schedule. We got here early. I know about you and the girl. We know, okay? Now we can offer you two a way out, a way through. And if you do what we say, if you help us, we won't have to hurt her. There's no need for violence. Violence is what got us all in this place to begin with. This is the end of violence for us. This is a new beginning. It's a partnership. And it starts by you getting her to open that door. Fuck you. Oh, shit. Your leg. Oh, my God. I don't even feel anything. That's usually a bad sign. You always know what to say to a girl. Up. You have training in this kind of a thing, right? What? - Field surgery? Dressing wounds? - Yeah. I mean, it's not my area of expertise but I know a little bit. Okay. Is all this blood normal? Well, you have a piece of truck in your leg. No way is a joke gonna make me feel more comfortable in your ability to not kill me right now. Grit your teeth. Looks like we missed the artery. But it's gonna be okay, right? You could still bleed out. Emerson, lie to a girl, will you? - Bite down. - I think it's starting to hurt. Bite. That was bizarre. Emerson! Yeah. I thought you left me. How long was I out? Little while. Not long. We were ambushed. Yeah. So, what? What? They wanted to stop the broadcasts? You know as much as I do. Yeah, but we didn't do anything wrong. Right? We were ambushed. Sit back down. All the audio files are there. We had nothing to do with it. So... They can't blame us for anything. Why are you looking at me like that? - We're fine. We were ambushed. - Calm down. I am calm. But what are we gonna do next? - Stop walking around on your leg. - I'm fine. What do we do next? Just tell me what we do now. Timetable updated. We'll have you out of there in less than two hours. Has everything been taken care of at your end? I can't confirm that. Is there a problem? - No. - Get it done, immediately. What? Two hours. This drilling is driving me nuts. I wanna find David and Meredith. You sure no one else could be in here? - What? - Nothing. I was just thinking they wanted something in the broadcast room. Gotta get over there. - Think they got what they came for? - Let's find out. It's pretty standard activity. Two broadcasts yesterday. Three last night. There's gotta be something. What? What do you got? Fifteen broadcasts this afternoon. What? Just 20 minutes apart. Whoever broke in here didn't do it to stop the broadcasts. Well, that's a good thing, right? Katherine, when you send a broadcast you're sending out these numbers to the agents in the field to deliver specific assignments they cannot trust to normal communication lines. Do you know what that means? Fifteen broadcasts. Fifteen assignments. Unauthorized. Assassinations, bombings. Could be anything. Murders? Gonna fix it. Here, what does it say? Can't read that. Agents in the field carry, like, one-time notebooks, like pads. Each page is a new cypher. When you broadcast something, the agent matches up the first set of numbers to the page in the notebook. Now he knows he's using this page, and this page only, to decode the message. When he's done, he destroys the page. So we send another broadcast to cancel this one. Every cypher's a one-time deal. Totally random. Completely impossible to crack the code unless you have the original cypher. That changes with every shift. So we need the cypher? Yes, we need that cypher. As much as it seems like we're here to hurt you, to kill you, I assure you, both of you, that's the worst-case scenario. Must have left the computer running. - It doesn't scare me. - Shut the fuck up! Back off! Please. Let me rephrase that. You think someone like me is afraid of being shot? Back off! Meredith. This is between you and I. The rest of these guys, they don't matter. This is just you and me. And a choice. You're shaking now. You're getting angry. You're letting your emotions get the better of the situation. The adrenaline is really kicking in. But what I know, the reason that I'm not shaking is because this is a choice not dictated by emotion. This is logic. Pure, simple. My boy over there is rated 4th in the world on the Glock 30. You know what that means? What's it mean? It means I could shoot you from Texas. Now, that's, of course, an exaggeration but the point stands. He knows what he's doing. He's a professional. And you're you. You've already dropped the gun. Because this is a choice within a very strict set of parameters. Right now you're in control. What you don't wanna do is put him in control. Don't give him the choice. That way is death. That way is the unconditional end to future choice. That's it. Good girl. I know, I know. It's always a tough lesson to learn, to realize that you don't have the stomach to do what's needed. Don't kill her. Of course not. But you, on the other hand... No! Don't! Please, please. No! Please, please. David! Please! No! You'll do exactly what we want. You'll broadcast my numbers because now you know every choice has a consequence. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! My God. Try the other zones. Who's in the basement? Let's see what's down there. We're clear. My God. He only fired two shots. Oh, my God, it's David. Oh, my God! They must have thought he was dead. Bled out. He knew there was a gun hidden down here. You still with me? Yeah, feel nauseous. Yeah, well, puke if you have to. I haven't puked since college. Keep talking. Where did you go? - Brown. - Yeah, how long? Two years. Before you dropped out? There you are. They're looking for this. Mainframe's connected to the computer. So whatever's on this... You said the codes were impossible to crack. Unless you have the original cypher. But whatever they're looking for, it's on this, so can you? Yeah, I'm on it, I'm on it. Who's this? Oh, it's the Director of Clandestine Operations Overseas. Somebody's boss's boss's boss. Somebody high up in the company. Director Atwater. Director Collins. Templeman. Keep going. Yeah, these are people being groomed for top slots in the corporation. Go back, go back. I know that man. That's my fucking boss. Fifteen dossiers. Fifteen broadcasts. There it is. If I wanted to cripple the system in one fell swoop, these would be the 15 I'd start with. You kill these men today, you won't recognize the world when you wake up in the morning. But they've already sent the broadcasts. I mean, what the hell do they want with us? They wanna kill us. Make sure you don't cancel the broadcasts. Grab that. Let's go. Here. That's all the information from the laptop, in case... I don't know, in case we don't get out of here. Drink that. "Of course we'll get out of here, Katherine. Don't you worry about a thing." You ever get used to it? Used to what? Bodies. Dead people. Seeing them. No. They never seem to stay dead. How's it going over there? There's stuff on here, but it's password protected. I know, but can you open it? I don't know. I'm trying. How do we know all this mayhem hasn't already happened? We don't. Good. Just keep working. Fuck. Can you just talk to me? Yeah, what do you wanna talk about? Anything. Just regular stuff. Like what normal people talk about. - Not really my strong suit, Katherine. - I'll start. How do you know I dropped out of college? Oh, that was just a lucky guess. Grabbed my file or something? - You fit a profile. - Of what? Civilian broadcasters have a certain, you know, personality trait. Keep working. Well, I can't work in silence, so you might as well just entertain me. Okay. A troubled childhood with an emphasis on extreme emotional loss or fatigue. Death of a parent. Sometimes sexual abuse. Lack of a strong authority figure in adolescence. Low self-esteem resulting in few permanent relationships. Defensive. Rebellious. Highly intelligent. Susceptible to being stuck in one position, environment or occupation for long periods of time. Yeah, you're terrible at this. How about your profile? Indifferent and emotionally detached from reality. Inability to communicate with any other human being on the face of this Earth. Willing to sit silently in one place for hours at a time. Make sure that you have a plan to kill every person that you ever meet. No. Close. No, I had a stable childhood but with an underlying desire to break free from control or authority. Restless. Sense of self-entitlement. Striking lack of empathy or compassion for other people. - Bordering between autism... - Stop. You know, I didn't always do this. This is my first station assignment. I was on the other end of the numbers. Looking at nine million black-book tax dollars. Recruited me straight out of college. Said it was the best opportunity I'd ever have. Told me I'd do special things, important things. Well, you're worth more than what some bureaucrat wrote down on a piece of paper 20 years ago. All they're really talking about is what's real. Reality. They know how to use it. They're good at it. Why not quit? Yeah. Yeah. I knew a guy once, and he decided he wanted to quit. He squirreled away money for about 20 years and he opened up a bar and wanted to create a new life, and he survived about 37 months. They killed him? No, I did. See if you can get into those files. Emerson gets here. Get off me! Get the fuck off! Get it off me! - How much longer? - Little while still. Go on, David, tell her to come out. Tell her to come out right now! Fuck you! Get up there. - Do you wanna be a fucking hero? - Get off! Get the fuck off me! I don't know how they got in. I mean, how can they have gotten the door code? It changes every shift. Unless someone... They knew the code and I told Mere... I told Meredith to lock herself inside the broadcast room to broadcast over the emergency channel. Fuck. If anyone's even listening, if it's even still on the air... They've cut into all our other secure lines of communication. I don't know how. I mean, who could know that much? Even the one-way operator line, I didn't even think that was possible. Wait. What did he just say? Even the one-way operator line, I didn't even think that was possible. They cut into the operator line? You did speak to someone on the phone. You spoke to the operator. Yes. I swear to God, if you were pretending to talk to someone... Katherine, I gave him the code. He verified the code. Yeah, but did you verify him? "Cardiff, Aberdeen, Glasgow, Belfast, Liverpool, Slough." Operator. That wasn't the right code. What? What I just called in. It wasn't the right code. Tell me you killed the girl before you figured that out. What? Fuck! They got to the emergency phones. Just let me think. No one even knows we're in trouble, do they? No, they don't. - There has to be a safety measure, right? - No. - Something or someone? - There's nothing. Someone who cancels the broadcast when something like this happens. There's no one. There has to be some kind of back-up, like an emergency back-up... Something like this doesn't happen. Seventy years, the code's never been breached. Somebody has to be out there who can... Katherine, there's nothing but the goddamn numbers! If we do our job, we get out of here alive. I promise. You kill her for me, I let you live. No. We've gone to a lot of trouble here with these broadcasts. We can't leave anything to chance. We can't let the girl cancel the broadcasts. She's the only one who can undo what's been done. You understand that, you're not a fool. Go fuck yourself. Look, your bosses won't let her live. She knows too much. Either you or me or the Agency pulls the trigger. No matter what, she doesn't make it out alive. You know a lot about this business. What's the problem? What do you care? Like you haven't done it a hundred times before. We've almost drilled through your door anyways. Might as well save your own life. What's she worth to you? She's nobody. Fuck. If anyone's even listening, if it's even still on the air... I couldn't take the shot. I couldn't do it. How could I do it? He said he couldn't take the shot. - No, he couldn't. - What does that mean, Emerson? What do you think it means? It means that there are no other safety measures. That David was the safety measure. Yeah. Means that you're the safety measure. And all this time I thought you were protecting me. I knew you looked at me funny. I knew you fucking looked at me funny. Liar. I should have listened to myself. - Where are you going? - Nowhere! Where am I gonna go? - I'm stuck here with you. - Yeah. And what have you got? What have you got outside of this? Do you have a life? - How could that possibly matter? - What do you mean "how does it matter"? - It means everything. - What is... What have you got? You've got nothing to live for except for this! This is all you've got. You've got your protocol. You've got your numbers. You're on the other side of the fucking numbers. And you read them and you take their money. You think you're not a part of this? Do you think you can fuck around with these people? What's wrong with you? What are you doing here? You're in it. You asked for it and you're in it. Here, locked and loaded. - Safety's off. It's good to go. - I don't want your fucking gun. If I was gonna kill you, I would have done it a long time ago. You'll do exactly what we want. You'll broadcast my numbers because now you know every choice has a consequence. You'll do exactly what we want. You'll broadcast my numbers because now you know every choice has a consequence. My cell phone. My cell phone's in your glove-box. We can use it to call for help. Doesn't help much with the guys waiting outside that door. Yeah, but there are three voices on the recording, right? The one who attacked us, the one who was dead in the basement. And one guy who will watch outside. Maybe. Yeah. Lock yourself in. It's the only secure room we got left. Is she dead? Yes, it's done. Come upstairs. Leave the door open and drive away. Welcome to early retirement. God, Meredith. Please. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, these are them. Meredith. 0-1 -6-6 4-4-3-1 -7-8-7-0. 8-8-2-8-4-5-7-7 6-6-8-9. Fuck, no! 7-7. Okay. I unlocked the cypher. I got the cypher. It was just one... One more, one more broadcast. Forget the broadcast. No, no... Come here, come here. - It's seven. - It doesn't matter. - Please... - What? It's 7-4-6-3. Can you remember? Everything's all right. It's all right. It's okay. - Go, go... - Okay. Can you keep your pressure on it? Okay. - Did we do it? - I think so. - Will I die? - No, you can live a long time like this. I need a doctor. Can you take the bullet out? It's a lot different than taking a piece of scrap out of your leg. Here. This is gonna take the pain away for a while. Wait. I'm gonna wake up, right? I've seen four guys get shot in the gut. Every one of them lived. Not the bullet. You. You wouldn't... What? You wouldn't do that to me, would you? No. - Somerset Textiles. - Blackleg Miner. Under duress. Please hold. Blackleg Miner, what's going on? Terminal was compromised. What's your status? Terminal secure. I knew you wouldn't let me down. Numbers secure? Of course. That's all that matters. Yeah. And the girl? All assets retired. She's dead? Yes. All right, then. Get out! Get out of the car! Hey, don't shoot, don't shoot. I got money. I don't want your fucking money. Help me get her in the car. We gotta get into town. We need to get to a hospital. - What happened to her? - She's shot? - Shot? Out here? - Help me! Help me get her in. Okay, come on. Come on, come on, come on. What happened? - Is she dead? - She will be if you don't hurry the fuck up. I understand that. I'm not a fool. You understand that, you're not a fool. Who are you working for? I used to work for the same righteous pricks who twisted your life. Now I work for the other side. Just as twisted but they pay a lot more. They break us, you know. Turn us into these awful things. Broken pieces. They push us. Make us into men we're not. And then complain when we no longer function. They think we should live like this is normal. Like this is how we should behave, how we should think. And our reward for this life? We try to run away and they kill us because of what they forced inside our heads. You think men like that deserve to live? They deserve everything they got coming. Maybe. Did you stop the broadcasts? Yeah. Why? Some fleeting virtue in not being a mass murderer. I take it you're not a religious man? You don't believe in a guiding light? No. You're like me, then. Floundering in wet shit. Yeah. How long do you think we can go on like this? Still at this, are we? So, you told me she was dead. Look, tell me. Burnt down, a man's worth $4.40. - Excuse me? - That's what you said. - When? - In the car. When all's said and done, you know, carbon and minerals. A human being's worth less than five bucks. I said that? Well, you know me, I talk a lot of shit. But if you say I said it, then I suppose I should believe you. What about it? We walk. Both of us. Well, you might walk but her... That's impossible. She knows too much. She's got the codes. She's got the cypher. She's compromised. It's gotta stop. I'll get you a prescription for Ativan. That will stop your conscience bothering you. Yeah. Well, take a look at that. It's a copy of the broadcasts. The ones she stopped. Number 14 might be of interest. It's you. She took a bullet for you. Gotta be worth more than five bucks. What do you want? Give me a week. Ten days. And I'll find your bodies at the station? You'll find enough. Start the count. We were never here. WOMAN: 7-3-4-7. 4-9-3-1. 4-3-1-9. 0-7-7-4. 7-3-4-1. 7-4-4. 7-5-7-5. GREY: Did you get that? EMERSON: Yeah, I got it. GREY: So I'm listening to the radio the other day, -Radio 2, NPR Radio or something... -Uh-huh. There's some fucking guy, scientist or something. (GREY sighs) Real sick bastard. You listening? Avidly. Says he measured out the remains, the cremated remains of a dead man. Measured out the, uh, minerals left behind, you know? The iron phosphates, the... Whatever it is we're made up of. Says he added it all up to the cost of $4.40. You believe that? Yeah, I guess so. $4.40. Burnt down man's worth less than a fucking Big Mac, all you can say is "l guess so"? Says give this poor bastard what he's got coming. Authentic? Yeah. Ten minutes. Start the count. (CAR DOOR CLOSES) MAN: (ON TV) All eyes are on the newcomer, Rainer... BARTENDER: Can I get you something? Two shots. Scotch. EMERSON: Got money on the game? Nah, spread's terrible. Here. One for the road. No, thanks. Been sober for three years. Interesting career. You do something long enough. (SCOFFS) You close your eyes, you just can't think of doing something else. (CLATTERlNG) They found your accounts. Where'd you spend it? (CHUCKLES) Look, man, I just wanted to start over. Quit the Agency. Have your drink. It could have been anybody walk through your door. Yeah. But it was you. (SCREAMS) (CLANKlNG) (CAR engine starting) (tires screeching) Go clean up your mess. Three minutes. Start the count. MAN: No, please, God. (GRUNTS) Why did you do that? Why? Why did you do that? (sobbing) (sighs) -Why did you do that? -(GUNSHOT) (EXHALES) (GASPS) GREY: What a shame. (GUNSHOT) Have you lost your fucking mind? (sighs) -She's just a kid. Jesus Christ. -The fuck, Emerson? (panting) GREY: No loose ends. (COCKS GUN) (GUNSHOT) DOCTOR: How long have you been out in the field? It should say there, in the file. I want to hear what you say. A long time. I didn't know you smoked. When did you start? Right after I quit drinking. Why did you stop drinking? I was a drunk. What would you say is your current disposition? How do I feel? How do you feel about the girl? She asked a very good question. -Which was? -Why? Well, that's a question that needs to be asked. We are not sociopaths. We're vulnerable to qualms of conscience like anyone else. We face these decisions every day, and we vote up or down. Like everything else, it has all been distilled down to zeros and ones. They have asked for me to describe your emotional state (helicopter hovering) in as detailed a manner as possible. To determine whether you are fit to remain in the field. -l hate that it had to turn out this way. -(siren wailing) Me taking care of the girl, me taking care of the police. What you need, what we're willing to offer, is a change of pace. We have a station for you to look after. Blackleg Miner. One of the smaller terminals. -England? -Yeah. Far the fuck out, middle of nowhere. Old American Army base. Officially it doesn't exist. Unofficially, it's used to broadcast numbers to our European field agents. -How long? -Until your head is right. You'll be babysitting a broadcaster. Civilian, right? Yeah, cryptology specialist. And one of the very few people who can process code at this level. You and another team, alternating shifts. Three days each. You keep the station safe, you keep the code safe. Whatever it takes. Okay. Do the job, Emerson. I don't wanna look like an ass for sticking my neck out on this one. 'Cause I've got nothing left, nothing to keep you from the wolves. 0-7-3. 4-5-5. 8-1-7. 6-9-0-1-0. katherine: Sorry. Little last-minute broadcast come through. EMERSON: I'll inform the authorities. katherine: You do that. -Wanna hear my latest theory? -Sure. We're coordinating troop movements in Afghanistan. -Long-term tactical formations. -Yeah. Illegal missions unsanctioned by the UN, that's why it's all hush-hush. EMERSON: Could be. -lt's good, right? -Yeah. katherine: Maybe it's all just some sort of awful experiment. Stuff two people in a box, see how long it takes for one of us to kill the other. -EMERSON: That's nice. -Ah, give me something. EMERSON: We're up two hours early next shift. -You guys been waiting long? -No, you're good. -Good shift? -EMERSON: Yeah. Got to catch up on sitting alone for 70 hours. It was nice. You know, my contract's up pretty soon. I was thinking of re-upping. Nothing else you'd rather do? No. I was recruited by a software company in college. The kind that makes apps for phones. What's wrong? Pay is no good? No, it was great, actually. Obscene, to be honest with you. Why didn't you do it, then? I don't know. I don't know, I guess I just felt like it was silly, it wasn't really that important, you know? I guess I like the idea of serving my country. Even if I don't know exactly what it is I do. What about you? You never wanted to do anything else? There comes a time when you do a thing long enough, you can't really imagine doing anything else, you know? So, if I stay here, I'm stuck with you forever? Yes. Be careful what you wish for. (laughing) katherine: You're doing it again, aren't you? What? You have that look that you get. What look? You're squinting one eye as if you're taking aim with a gun. -You're gonna be late. -lt's horrifying. I'm sure you're great fun at parties. Seriously, you don't have to think about killing everyone that you ever meet. -l don't. -Okay. So, just for fun, what would happen if I wasn't here on Monday? EMERSON: Has there been a horrible train accident? No. Train's here. I'm just not on it. It wouldn't be fun. Come on, what would happen? I'd have to make a phone call. You'd have to make a phone call? I would make a phone call. -No fun. -Company man. (GUNSHOT) Hi. -How you doing? -Good. katherine: You should have seen your face back there. EMERSON: What? katherine: When I didn't get off the train right away, you looked like you were about to have a heart attack. -How was your weekend? -Good. I had a great weekend, thanks for asking. So you got that text? Confirming the... What I already knew. Yeah, I got it. Did you get mine? I was trying to make a joke about the White House Correspondents' dinner, but my phone spell-checked it into whorehouse correspondents' dinner. Spell-checks are usually pretty accurate. Right. I'm sure there's a whorehouse correspondents' dinner somewhere. -Somewhere, yeah. -(LAUGHS) (PHONE ringing) I know, I know, I got it. No phones inside. Hey, if it were up to me, I couldn't care less. Gone. Done. Okay? Should be out by now. Yeah. Probably just got a last-minute broadcast. What? Nothing. One sec. (GUNSHOT) (GASPS) (GUNSHOT) (GUNSHOTS) (COCKS GUN) -(GUNSHOT) -(CAR ALARM beeping) katherine: Ah! (coughing) (KATHERlNE GRUNTlNG) (EMERSON panting) No... Ah! -l can't hear. -Shh. -(whispers) Okay. Eardrums. -(GUNSHOT) -Stay quiet, okay? -Okay. Stay quiet. (KATHERlNE GRUNTlNG) Stay here. Be quiet, okay? (KATHERlNE GASPS) (FOOTSTEPS running) (SCREAMS) (MUFFLED sobbing) (sighs) Katherine. -We're clear. -Are you sure? We'd know by now if somebody else were in here. Whose hand is that? I don't know. -Can you hear? -Yeah. If they know the code from before, they're gonna come back in. They're gonna use it again. No, the codes change with every shift. They could have had David and Meredith's code but not ours. Where are they? Take a deep breath. (lNHALES) (lNHALES) (BOTH EXHALE) We're gonna walk. We're gonna call for help. Okay? "Cardiff, Aberdeen, Glasgow, Belfast, Oxford, Slough." OPERATOR: Operator. -Blackleg Miner Station. -Go ahead. The station's been compromised. Requesting immediate evacuation. One moment. -Evac authorized. -ETA? Four hours. For now, standard protocol. Secure location. Retire asset. Repeat. The code has been compromised. Retire your broadcaster. Did you copy that? Got it. What? What'd they say? EMERSON: Four hours. Sit tight. -(THUDDlNG) -Shh. Did you hear that? (mechanical whirring) (banging) (mechanical whirring) They're drilling through. (banging) EMERSON: Let's go check the security cameras. Find out what happened to David and Meredith. Shit. All the cameras are down. Audio's on a separate file. -Yeah. -Pull it up. katherine: Here. (static) Nothing. What time was that? -One hour ago. -Earlier. (PEOPLE fighting) DAVID: Fuck you! MAN: Do you wanna be a fucking hero? Go back further. DAVID: We just gotta hold out a couple of hours till Emerson gets here and then I hope... (SOUNDS OF fighting) MAN: Quiet! david: Get off of me! MAN: Where is she? DAVID: Fuck you! MAN: You go get her. Tell her to come out. Tell her to come out right now! Take a fucking seat! We know you have to open the door from the inside. Can you get her to do that for us? It'll be a lot easier. Fuck you. I need to get inside the broadcast room. I need the girl to open the door. I need her to take care of some numbers for me. Now this is something only she can do. And I'm kinda on a tight schedule. katherine: They didn't know about the change in schedule. We got here early. I know about you and the girl. We know, okay? Now we can offer you two a way out, a way through. And if you do what we say, if you help us, we won't have to hurt her. There's no need for violence. Violence is what got us all in this place to begin with. This is the end of violence for us. This is a new beginning. It's a partnership. And it starts by you getting her to open that door. DAVID: Fuck you. EMERSON: Oh, shit. Your leg. Oh, my God. I don't even feel anything. That's usually a bad sign. You always know what to say to a girl. Up. You have training in this kind of a thing, right? What? -Field surgery? Dressing wounds? -Yeah. I mean, it's not my area of expertise but I know a little bit. Okay. is all this blood normal? Well, you have a piece of truck in your leg. No way is a joke gonna make me feel more comfortable in your ability to not kill me right now. Grit your teeth. (GRUNTS) Looks like we missed the artery. But it's gonna be okay, right? You could still bleed out. Emerson, lie to a girl, will you? -Bite down. -l think it's starting to hurt. Bite. (breathing heavily) (panting) (MUFFLED SCREAMS) (GASPS) That was bizarre. (sighs) (EXHALES) Emerson! Yeah. I thought you left me. (sighs) How long was I out? Little while. Not long. We were ambushed. Yeah. So, what? What? They wanted to stop the broadcasts? You know as much as I do. Yeah, but we didn't do anything wrong. Right? We were ambushed. Sit back down. All the audio files are there. We had nothing to do with it. So... They can't blame us for anything. Why are you looking at me like that? -We're fine. We were ambushed. -Calm down. I am calm. But what are we gonna do next? -Stop walking around on your leg. -l'm fine. What do we do next? Just tell me what we do now. (PHONE ringing) -OPERATOR: Timetable updated. -Mmm-hmm. We'll have you out of there in less than two hours. Has everything been taken care of at your end? I can't confirm that. is there a problem? -No. -Get it done, immediately. What? Two hours. Ugh, this drilling is driving me nuts. I wanna find David and Meredith. (tapping THE GUN) You sure no one else could be in here? -What? -Nothing. I was just thinking they wanted something in the broadcast room. Gotta get over there. -Think they got what they came for? -Let's find out. It's pretty standard activity. Two broadcasts yesterday. Three last night. There's gotta be something. What? What do you got? Fifteen broadcasts this afternoon. What? katherine: Just 20 minutes apart. Whoever broke in here didn't do it to stop the broadcasts. Well, that's a good thing, right? Katherine, when you send a broadcast you're sending out these numbers to the agents in the field to deliver specific assignments they cannot trust to normal communication lines. Do you know what that means? Fifteen broadcasts. Fifteen assignments. Unauthorized. Assassinations, bombings. Could be anything. Murders? Gonna fix it. Here, what does it say? Can't read that. Agents in the field carry, like, one-time notebooks, like pads. Each page is a new cypher. When you broadcast something, the agent matches up the first set of numbers to the page in the notebook. Now he knows he's using this page, and this page only, to decode the message. When he's done, he destroys the page. So we send another broadcast to cancel this one. Every cypher's a one-time deal. Totally random. Completely impossible to crack the code unless you have the original cypher. That changes with every shift. So we need the cypher? -Yes, we need that cypher. -(crashing) (indistinct conversations) As much as it seems like we're here to hurt you, to kill you, I assure you, both of you, that's the worst-case scenario. Must have left the computer running. -lt doesn't scare me. -Shut the fuck up! Back off! Please. Let me rephrase that. You think someone like me is afraid of being shot? Back off! Meredith. This is between you and I. The rest of these guys, they don't matter. This is just you and me. And a choice. You're shaking now. You're getting angry. You're letting your emotions get the better of the situation. The adrenaline is really kicking in. But what I know, the reason that I'm not shaking is because this is a choice not dictated by emotion. This is logic. Pure, simple. My boy over there is rated 4th in the world on the Glock 30. You know what that means? What's it mean? -lt means I could shoot you from Texas. -(CHUCKLES) Now, that's, of course, an exaggeration but the point stands. He knows what he's doing. He's a professional. And you're you. You've already dropped the gun. Because this is a choice within a very strict set of parameters. Right now you're in control. What you don't wanna do is put him in control. Don't give him the choice. That way is death. That way is the unconditional end to future choice. That's it. Good girl. I know, I know. It's always a tough lesson to learn, to realize that you don't have the stomach to do what's needed. Don't kill her. MAN: Of course not. But you, on the other hand... meredith: No! Don't! Please, please. No! Please, please. (david GRUNTlNG) (BELCHES) -(MEREDlTH SCREAMS) -(david GRUNTS) (sobbing) David! Please! No! You'll do exactly what we want. You'll broadcast my numbers because now you know every choice has a consequence. (david AND meredith SCREAM) meredith: Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! katherine: My God. Try the other zones. (pounding) Who's in the basement? EMERSON: Let's see what's down there. (FOOTSTEPS CLANGlNG) We're clear. My God. He only fired two shots. Oh, my God, it's David. (MUTTERS) Oh, my God! EMERSON: They must have thought he was dead. Bled out. He knew there was a gun hidden down here. You still with me? Yeah, feel nauseous. Yeah, well, puke if you have to. I haven't puked since college. Keep talking. Where did you go? -Brown. -Yeah, how long? Two years. Before you dropped out, huh? MAN: There you are. (david YELLS) EMERSON: They're looking for this. Mainframe's connected to the computer. So whatever's on this... You said the codes were impossible to crack. Unless you have the original cypher. But whatever they're looking for, it's on this, so can you? Yeah, I'm on it, I'm on it. Who's this? Oh, it's the Director of Clandestine Operations Overseas. Somebody's boss's boss's boss. Somebody high up in the company. Director Atwater. Director Collins. Templeman. Keep going. Yeah, these are people being groomed for top slots in the corporation. Go back, go back. I know that man. That's my fucking boss. Fifteen dossiers. Fifteen broadcasts. There it is. If I wanted to cripple the system in one fell swoop, these would be the 1 5 I'd start with. You kill these men today, you won't recognize the world when you wake up in the morning. But they've already sent the broadcasts. I mean, what the hell do they want with us? They wanna kill us. Make sure you don't cancel the broadcasts. Grab that. Let's go. Here. That's all the information from the laptop, in case, uh... I don't know, in case we don't get out of here. Drink that. "Of course we'll get out of here, Katherine. Don't you worry about a thing." You ever get used to it? Used to what? Bodies. Dead people. Seeing them. No. They never seem to stay dead. How's it going over there? There's stuff on here, but it's password protected. I know, but can you open it? I don't know. I'm trying. (sighs) How do we know all this mayhem hasn't already happened? We don't. Good. Just keep working. Fuck. (sighs) Can you just talk to me? Yeah, what do you wanna talk about? Anything. Just regular stuff. Like what normal people talk about. -Not really my strong suit, Katherine. -l'll start. (sighs) How do you know I dropped out of college? Oh, that was just a lucky guess. Grabbed my file or something? -You fit a profile. -Of what? Civilian broadcasters have a certain, you know, personality trait. Keep working. Well, I can't work in silence, so you might as well just entertain me. Okay. A troubled childhood with an emphasis on extreme emotional loss or fatigue. Death of a parent. Sometimes sexual abuse. Lack of a strong authority figure in adolescence. Low self-esteem resulting in few permanent relationships. Defensive. Rebellious. Highly intelligent. Susceptible to being stuck in one position, environment or occupation for long periods of time. Wow... Yeah, you're terrible at this. How about your profile? Indifferent and emotionally detached from reality. lnability to communicate with any other human being on the face of this Earth. Willing to sit silently in one place for hours at a time. Make sure that you have a plan to kill every person that you ever meet. No. Close. No, I had a stable childhood but with an underlying desire to break free from control or authority. Restless. Sense of self-entitlement. Striking lack of empathy or compassion for other people. -Bordering between autism... -Stop. You know, I, um, didn't always do this. This is my first station assignment. I was on the other end of the numbers. Looking at nine million black-book tax dollars. Recruited me straight out of college. Said it was the best opportunity I'd ever have. Told me I'd do special things, important things. Well, you're worth more than what some bureaucrat wrote down on a piece of paper 20 years ago. Hmm... All they're really talking about is what's real. Reality. They know how to use it. They're good at it. -Why not quit? -(CHUCKLES) Yeah. Yeah. I knew a guy once, and he decided he wanted to quit. He squirreled away money for about 20 years and he opened up a bar and wanted to create a new life, and he survived about 37 months. They killed him? No, I did. See if you can get into those files. DAVID: ... Emerson gets here. (indistinct conversation) (GUNSHOTS) david: Get offme! Get the fuck off! Get it off me! (david GRUNTS) -How much longer? -Little while still. MAN: Go on, David, tell her to come out. Tell her to come out right now! DAVID: Fuck you! MAN: Get up there. (GUNSHOTS) MAN: Do you wanna be a fucking hero? david: Get off! Get the fuck off me! (REWlNDlNG) (GUNSHOTS) DAVID: I don't know how they got in. I mean, how can they have gotten the door code? It changes every shift. Unless someone... They knew the code and I told Mere... I told Meredith to lock herself inside the broadcast room to broadcast over the emergency channel. -(pounding) -Fuck. If anyone's even listening, if it's even still on the air... They've cut into all our other secure lines of communication. I don't know how. I mean, who could know that much? Even the one-way operator line, I didn't even think that was possible. Wait. What did he just say? (REWlNDlNG) Even the one-way operator line, I didn't even think that was possible. katherine: They cut into the operator line? You did speak to someone on the phone. You spoke to the operator. Yes. I swear to God, if you were pretending to talk to someone... Katherine, I gave him the code. He verified the code. Yeah, but did you verify him? "Cardiff, Aberdeen, Glasgow, Belfast, Liverpool, Slough." Operator. That wasn't the right code. What? What I just called in. It wasn't the right code. Tell me you killed the girl before you figured that out. What? Fuck! They got to the emergency phones. Just let me think. No one even knows we're in trouble, do they? No, they don't. -There has to be a safety measure, right? -No. -Something or someone? -There's nothing. Someone who cancels the broadcast when something like this happens. There's no one. There has to be some kind of back-up, like an emergency back-up... Something like this doesn't happen. Seventy years, the code's never been breached. Somebody has to be out there who can... Katherine, there's nothing but the goddamn numbers! (PHONE ringing) If we do ourjob, we get out of here alive. I promise. -OPERATOR: You kill her for me, I let you live. -(sighs) No. We've gone to a lot of trouble here with these broadcasts. We can't leave anything to chance. We can't let the girl cancel the broadcasts. She's the only one who can undo what's been done. You understand that, you're not a fool. Go fuck yourself. Look, your bosses won't let her live. She knows too much. Either you or me or the Agency pulls the trigger. No matter what, she doesn't make it out alive. You know a lot about this business. What's the problem? What do you care? Like you haven't done it a hundred times before. We've almost drilled through your door anyways. Might as well save your own life. What's she worth to you? She's nobody. DAVID: Fuck. lf anyone's even listening, if it's even still on the air... (david panting) I couldn't take the shot. I couldn't do it. How could I do it? katherine: He said he couldn't take the shot. -No, he couldn't. -What does that mean, Emerson? What do you think it means? It means that there are no other safety measures. That David was the safety measure. Yeah. Means that you're the safety measure. And all this time I thought you were protecting me. I knew you looked at me funny. I knew you fucking looked at me funny. (sighs) Liar. I should have listened to myself. -Where are you going? -Nowhere! Where am I gonna go? -l'm stuck here with you. -Yeah. And what have you got, huh? What have you got outside of this? Do you have a life? -How could that possibly matter? -What do you mean "how does it matter"? -lt means everything. -What is... What have you got? You've got nothing to live for except for this! -Mmm-hmm... -This is all you've got. You've got your protocol. You've got your numbers. You're on the other side of the fucking numbers. And you read them and you take their money. You think you're not a part of this, huh? Do you think you can fuck around with these people? What's wrong with you? What are you doing here? You're in it. You asked for it and you're in it. Here, locked and loaded. -Safety's off. lt's good to go. -l don't want your fucking gun. If I was gonna kill you, I would have done it a long time ago. (sobbing) MAN: You'll do exactly what we want. You'll broadcast my numbers because now you know every choice has a consequence. (REWlNDlNG) You'll do exactly what we want. You'll broadcast my numbers because now you know every choice has a consequence. My cell phone. My cell phone's in your glove-box. We can use it to call for help. Doesn't help much with the guys waiting outside that door. Yeah, but there are three voices on the recording, right? The one who attacked us, the one who was dead in the basement. And one guy who will watch outside. Maybe. Yeah. Lock yourself in. It's the only secure room we got left. (locking DOOR) OPERATOR: is she dead? Yes, it's done. Come upstairs. Leave the door open and drive away. Welcome to early retirement. God, Meredith. Please. (sighs) Oh, my God. Oh, my God, these are them. (UNLOCKS DOOR) Meredith. 0-1-6-6 4-4-3-1-7-8-7-0. 8-8-2-8-4-5-7-7 6-6-8-9. (GUNSHOT) (GUNSHOTS) Fuck, no! 7-7. Okay. (DOOR opening) (FOOTSTEPS approaching) (GUNSHOT) (BOTH grunting) (screaming) (BOTH grunting) (sighs) (COUGHS) (groaning) katherine: I unlocked the cypher. (GRUNTlNG) I got the cypher. It was just one... One more, one more broadcast. Forget the broadcast. Ow, oh... (GRUNTS) No, no... Come here, come here. (BOTH panting) -lt's seven. -lt doesn't matter. -Please... -What? It's 7-4-6-3. Can you remember? Everything's all right. lt's all right. lt's okay. -Go, go... -Okay. Can you keep your pressure on it? Okay. (breathing heavily) -Did we do it? -l think so. -Will I die? -No, you can live a long time like this. I need a doctor. (GRUNTlNG) Can you take the bullet out? It's a lot different than taking a piece of scrap out of your leg. Oh! Here. This is gonna take the pain away for a while. Wait. I'm gonna wake up, right? I've seen four guys get shot in the gut. Every one of them lived. Not the bullet. You. You wouldn't... What? You wouldn't do that to me, would you? No. (dialing) -MAN: Somerset Textiles. -Blackleg Miner. Under duress. Please hold. Blackleg Miner, what's going on? Terminal was compromised. What's your status? Terminal secure. I knew you wouldn't let me down. Numbers secure? Of course. That's all that matters. Yeah. GREY: And the girl? All assets retired. She's dead? Yes. All right, then. (GRUNTS) (engine sputtering) (vehicle approaching) (GUNSHOTS) Get out! Get out of the car! Hey, don't shoot, don't shoot. I got money. I don't want your fucking money. Help me get her in the car. We gotta get into town. We need to get to a hospital. -What happened to her? -She's shot? -Shot? Out here? -Help me! Help me get her in. Okay, come on. Come on, come on, come on. What happened? -ls she dead? -She will be if you don't hurry the fuck up. I understand that. I'm not a fool. You understand that, you're not a fool. Who are you working for? (breathing LOUDLY) I used to work for the same righteous pricks who twisted your life. Now I work for the other side. Just as twisted but they pay a lot more. They break us, you know. Turn us into these awful things. Broken pieces. They push us. Make us into men we're not. And then complain when we no longer function. They think we should live like this is normal. Like this is how we should behave, how we should think. And our reward for this life? We try to run away and they kill us because of what they forced inside our heads. You think men like that deserve to live? They deserve everything they got coming. Maybe. Did you stop the broadcasts? Yeah. Why? Some fleeting virtue in not being a mass murderer. I take it you're not a religious man? You don't believe in a guiding light? No. You're like me, then. Floundering in wet shit. Yeah. How long do you think we can go on like this? (GRUNTS) (GUNSHOT) (engine starting) (EKG BEEPlNG) (SNEEZES) (GRUNTS) (sighs) Still at this, are we? So, you told me she was dead. He is a murder He has been punish He just payed for his doing's Father forgive brother please Come father The punishment I already got for my misdeed's Please let the enemy between both family's end. My enemy has to be dead Did you understand Don't spare him Kill him Can change any colour but black will always remain black Rughnath he is out of my reach. And away from my life. Shiv listen to me I only have 1 son. And you go away' In this village there is no place for you. You are dead for all of us You are dead! Brother What are you thinking boss Tauji if you'd called me I would have come. Why so many tears? What's the matter? Nothing Tauji. People live there live's happy Boss still trying to live it. When you were young I gave you some advice. Release your anger Smile and for get your enemies. A contract come for you. His new to dehli He arrive and he ayushman's sister He want's outside help. Looks like this buy has principals You must believe cause it's the truth. Big boss sign the contract It's done,once sign the contract The job is finished Ok I take your leave Boss there is a person waiting outside for you. Only want to speak to you Satikanth sastri What did you say. Father why are you here. Did not come to meet you But came for boss. Came to give boss a contract. This my only sons photo. His life is in danger. You must save him. It's my destiny to stoop so low And pardon in front of a goon. I did not come empty You want more money I'm prepared to sell everything The contract should be complete Fathermplease come inside. I am a honest man It's a sin to entetr a goon's house. Babu ji you are in my heart You are everywere babu ji I'm just unlucky. So little money It's worth crores to your boss. He looks like me Yes We have to lie to big boss Ayushman is a goon wearing the uniform. What now boss? Now we'll go to Delhi and make Ayushman's birthplace his place of death. Now boss will fight because ... Ayushman, Ayushman, Ayushman, Ayushman. Boss has received his money. Yeah? Guard Shiv. I'll give you space. This is the first time that my Dad's money is going to the right place. Just let the job happen. The neighbour's kids don't let me drink tea in peace. Take this. Shoot Bittu right here. What did you do? It's empty, right? Yes, empty... just one bullet. Stop, stop! What if somebody had gotten shot? Bittu would have died and the other kid would have gone to jail. This is the same thing that'll happen to Boss and Shiv. I don't understand. Boss will kill Shiv and will be executed for that. But boss is our man! I don't even trust my father. This an old habit of mine - first clear the garbage, then clear the record. Why are you outside? From today your outgoing and the phone's incoming are both out. Go into your room and shut the door And you can watch t.v Untill I call you out...marriage must take place Now go? Ayushman boss arrive Were is your boss? My work is to release water. Boss so much of power Your plant grew This is what you call Power plant So you are Ayushman Takur? Arrange a meeting in the 5-star lobby. Sir how can I assist you? Will you kill Shiv in jail? What are you saying Takur? I know your story. You clear garbage and then clean your record. If I kill him in your jail won't you be investigated or not? The media already has footage of you and that boy. Why provoke more attention? So what can we do boss Kill Shiv not in jail but outside. Superb! What do you say, Ayushman? Shall we spring him from jail? Takur wants to become CP. What is on your mind. What and idea brother My contract name's with free advice. There should not be any mistake on the contract. When he will kill shiv I will be present. Brother Who are you? Boss Dad our man is out Now I understand why he release me So I can finish you here! Come kill me I can tolarate anything but not A word on my father Wish I can hug you brother. I don't no any dialuge This will become a problem This a punch of a tiger This is shah'; They both are fighting Hold the gun He embarassed me and escape Boss Shiv don't tell father im here. Now you go on..why You released me from jail Are you crazy lm just a goon. If he find's out he will sell our property You explain to father you escaped from jail. What about your feeling's Go Did you see so many men Are you afraid. Out side the temple there are so many beggar's I'm afraid please don't take me See how the goose pimple pop up Please don't harm me Boss run Daddy Boss came here alone Wheres our goons ? Namastey Baldy Your Goons were at the temple But I thought I will come her on my own because I will come to your house by myself and drink your water Don't interfere I'm only here for - To extract the water Come Tauji I called him her specially to show him your actions I gave you the contract and you beat up MY men We have one rule - We can break any relation but never break a contract Sometimes you make a mistake In life you get small mistakes or huge mistakes You 3d villains only gave me one chance what about second third and fourth Keep quiet You want to chase him all your life cancel the contract What did you say? what did you say? The contract we gave you is now canceled You heard for yourself He himself canceled the contract Once the contract is canceled there is no breach of contract, only... advance is returned very fast go inside Was it necessary to speak inbetween? I'll come straight to the point Do you love Shiv? Move - Your brother will get you married to that moron Me... Moron? -Look at that moron's face do you love Shiv? Do you want to marry him ? -yes Don't be crazy! He has an entire army wth him Boss's new contract is to see that Shiv and Ankita get married But Boss without an advance How can we start a new contract? Thats pan of your rules Thais true -So... Moron - Come here - Yes Boss Thats it I got the advance Brothers money will pay for the sisters work If Boss takes a new contract... then he took it Our rule is - Break any relation But never break a contract And anyway its not about the contract Its about the relationship because Shiv is my Blood Brother I will say it 3 times Remember once Boss's blood boils.. Theres no stopping him You were right We should have burnt him and hurried him I'm happy that you're out and even more happy that we... didn't need the help of that gangster Come in brother - No I just came to return the contract money I'm going to the Darga Are you coming or not? Yes father Can brother come as well? He can do as he pleases He can either come or don't come It makes no difference to me How much is this? Come brother put it in neutral here brother for your treatments What happened? any problems? The Entire MLA party was caught with prostitutes and the media is in a frenzy I am finishesd My power is gone and your wife as well You dog, you cheat you liar thats why every afternoon you dissapear If you mess with my father again I'll snatch the soil from under your feet and this is not Boss's warning its a prediction Shivani is our common friend and her mother is in ICU If ankita meets shivani once she will be gratefull for the support Besides me... No one has contact with Ankita Thats why I'm here take her... but I understand I will bring her home quickly I'm not taking you to Shivani I'm taking you to meet Shiv There is nothing wrong with Shivanis Mum I'm going to a party at my brothers place Why don't you come as well he knows many influencial people 0k text me the address and I'll be there Police are beating up some of my men You take Ankita and Dimple home... understand When will we meet again? - At the end of the movie Make it fast please or my dad will kill me One side you in love with my sister and the other you rape her best friend what nonsense is this? Dimple what happened? You don't know what a big crime rape is No bail - Straight to jail and inside you'll have a dogs life Dimple is lying you know it Its the second time in my life I hit someone and both times it happened to be you I was worried from the moment I knew Shiv was with you Its not his fault Its his fault and yours too You using transport name as a front and doing other things He became a murderer but you made him a thief today I will tell you the story What are you saying you only deserve one thing - Hatred Shiv will be out by sunrise and if he dues not get out... then the sun won't rise For 15 years I brought him up But his father, God... is You You don't know what happened But today if you got the strength to listen... I'll tell you Until you two don't work it out I'm gonna luck your'll up in this room You've only seen his temper You haven't seen his soft side wheres my son ? - I'll take you to him Why am I in so much of pain? What was the procedure of making that mini bomb give me my phone so that I can phone daddy here you go now watch Theres a bomb in my bum boss didn't put it on the right he put it in the centre of the bum you don't believe us Boss switch it on you got 3 hours to get your dad to get Shiv out of jail or... Wait that music has rights lets do our own we kept to our promise now you keep to yours theres only 4 minutes left 3 minutes brother Baldy theres only 1 man that can remove that bomb from his bum who is that? I've become a poet Go... Go and tell him what you want to on this same land I'm gonna get my brother and your sister married Because there is no fun like making your enemy jealous of you Today not life... But death will be painfull Ragunathji never made it and father is serious I couldnt help it - I told him and he was coming to you to ask for forgiveness listen - where are you ICU or the morgue when you emotional chapter is over come quickly to kurukshetra come quickly I'm waiting I always said face your enemy with a smile but todaydestruy this enemy it will be much more fun finishing you off on my own Today you won't face Boss but a son Kurukshetra! Situated in the heart of India... clustered by Haryana and... surrounded by the Saraswati river... is this historical place. The Kaurava's and the Pandava's... fought an epic battle at this very place. Centuries have passed ideologies have changed... but the battle is still being fought here. These days there's one warrior in Kurukshetra... who fights to protect the honour of truth. Tauji! We also know him as Big Boss. Although he's called the transport king... of this area but the Big Boss' real job... is to abduct stumble and deliver bad guys. Big Boss conjures blessings... as well as enemies. Today he's off to Mirzapur in regard of anew contract. But Big Boss doesn't know that... life has already put a death contract on him. Move the car. Why did you park it here? Lallan. Did you have to take the station road? What to do Big Boss? The highway's closed. This is the only alternate route to Mirzapur. Big Boss can I go pee? Or else I'll wet my pants. Go on. Hurry up or you'll pee in your pants. Big Boss. For you. It's really hot. Give one to my men as well. - Yes. - Listen. - Yes. See that boy sitting there. Yes Big Boss. - Give one to him too. - Yes. I don't have money. I didn't ask for it. I'm as old as your father. Take it as my blessings. Here. Take it son. Hey boy. Won't you thank the Big Boss? Offering water to the thirsty is a good deed. And you've earned a merit because of me. So should I be thanking him or will he thank me? I must admit. He's no ordinary boy. Because he talks about common sense. I forgot Lallan. Even a bag of rice has pebbles. And you Dushyant. Why don't you setup a cracker-shop? Maybe you'll do good business? You made a big mistake... taking up enmity with Dushyant. No guns. I'll hack you to pieces with this axe... And all of North India... won't be able to put you back. Hey boy let's go. Stop. Stop. Stop! Why did you save me? You're like my father. But such obsession. You forced me to sit in the car. Otherwise I would've shown you more. Here's an advice. Listen carefully and follow it. Live larger than life. Laugh more than you can cry. Forgo your anger. And finish your enemies with a smile. Get it? There's a rage in my heart too. They killed 10 of my men. I'll kill 20. But... look at the boiling point of my mind. It's still zero! - Name. - I want to forget mine. Who I am where from everything. Still I would like to know. You can have a little faith in the Big Boss. What do you say Boss? And this way Big Boss made that boy... heir to his world and his heart. And gave that nameless boy name... that fitted his stature. BOSS! Boy saves Haryana's transport king's life. Satyakant. You're still reading 15 year old news about your son. You know very well Raghunath. Surya didn't save any transport king... he saved a gangster. And only he can do such a lowly job. Satyakant. Time heals all wounds. Physical wounds may heal with time. But he's inflicted a wound on my heart. Satyakant. He's your son just like Shiv. Blood ties don't make up relations Raghunath. You've to abide by it too. And Shiv has done that. He has. He's so cultured. He's always first to lend a helping hand. He never does anything wrong behind my back. And even today... he never forgets to give respect to his elders. He always leaves a mark behind. That's true. Yes. Shiv. Where were you? Listen. You're going to Delhi tomorrow. To your uncle. Pack your bags. Yes father. Come nephew. Sit. So are you prepared? What's happened? Some seniors were ragging the new students. So... Look son. You should be careful in such situations. Otherwise you will stumble. Who stumbled? No... no one. I was just saying he should be careful in life... otherwise one stumbles. Yes. That's a good advice. Right. And son. You know whom we're sending you to in Delhi. Your uncle sub-inspector Zoravar. Yes. He'll take good care of you. And I've heard he's no ordinary man. The whole of Delhi's afraid of him. I've heard that people fear him... more than 'Chulbul Pandey' and 'Singham'. Zoravar's so feared... that he always catches the goons he's after. Help. Police. Help. Police. Help. Don't beat me. Don't beat me. Beat him. Uncle. I never imagined... I'd come to Delhi and see you in this condition. - How did this happen? - Nephew. They were 20 and I was alone. But I beat them black and blue. My name's inspector Zoravar Singh. I can make arose stink. Give a swine swine-flu. And give lice to a bald head. Listen. You can't even lie properly. - Shiv the truth is... - Kamini! He's no brave officer. Kamini! - He's a coward cop. - Kamini. - What? - Kamini. Kamini. Calm down. He's been beaten up by the local thugs. You're not worthy of being my husband. I say you're not worthy of this uniform either. Inspector! What did she hurl at me witch. Nephew. It's like this. I'm actually a sub-inspector. I couldn't become an inspector. You see. I had been appointed for the security... of that crazy ACP Ayushman Thakur's sister. Now how do I go with this broken hand? You don't get it. See. What are you doing? Take look. This uniform transforms a common man into a hero. - I see. This uniform can turn an out-of-form guy... - into a macho-man. - Idea. What? Idea. Only you can save me from suspension now. - What? - You take my place. Go posing as inspector Zoravar. - Zoravar can... - Hold on uncle. This is impossible I cannot do it. Why do you think the ACP chose me? Because he knows it's just a formality. And I assure you... she will believe you're Zoravar. Because she has never seen me. It's headfirst to Delhi. It's just fo rthree days. Here's her photograph. What's the problem? - Ankita! - Yes she's... You know her? Yes I know her very well. We met last year during the Jaipur lnter-college festival. Her voice. Her eyes. That mind-blowing attitude. Different. Unique. This is one view that's been shown over a thousand times. But each time the effect is amazing. - Hi Ankita. - Shiv. You joined the police force? Yes. And now I'm here to join you for your security. But when did you become Zoravar? I'll tell you. Let's go. Okay. I get it. - Hey Ankita. - Hey how are you? Good. - Shiv Dimple. - Hi Dimple. Hi. You two go on I'll park my bike. Ankita. Hello. Vishal I've already fixed my program with my friend. Even our wedding's been fixed Ankita. My dad and you rbrother fixed it. And pop... Oh! And you know who... my pop is. Home Minister Pradhan. And do you know why you're given police protection. Because I said so. Me. Because this property is sold. And any trespasser will be executed. You get that baby. Yes. Excuse me Vishal. But our film's just begun. Oh! Let the film's begun... then the hero's got to hold the heroine's hand. Leave my hand Vishal. Oh so sweet. Or else? Move. Move. Move. I hit him. Watch out. Shiv are you okay? Ankita this is a big problem. The real problem will start when brother finds out. Come on. Come on keep walking. Why bring us here sir? I tried explaining nicely but you wouldn't listen. If you go against Minister Pradhan and... roam around like a big oaf you'll be put down like a dog. There's just one way to save yourselves. Kill me and escape. Don't try to run from death. People have a wrong notion about death. Its life that makes you suffer. Garbage cleared. My record's also cleared. Mr. Pradhan your job's done. Great. Ayushman. Sometimes I can't decide... who the bigger rascal is. Doesn't make a difference. We're both serving the country. If you're eager on taking a decision... then decide when I'm going to be CP. I'll sign on your promotion letter... only when your sister and my son... sign on the marriage certificate. Even I can't decide Mr. Pradhan... who the bigger rascal is. What to do Ayushman? My son's heart is set on your sister. And my son's wish is my command. On that note let's celebrate at your house today. Okay. - Sir. - What is it? The police thrashed Vishal. They threw him down from the multiplex. What? What happened Mr. Pradhan. That police officer whom you appointed... for Ankita's security thrashed Vishal. Threw him down from the first floor of Galaxy Multiplex. Zoravar. Whoever he is. That midget beat-up Vishal. I'll look into it. - Get the car. - Yes sir. - Jadhav. - Yadav sir. Whatever. Get me Galaxy Multiplex CCTV footages now. Yes sir. Zoravar. It can't... be Zoravar. It's someone else. Shiv. No one's took a stand for me ever. You gave him a fitting reply only for me. Ankita some decisions are taken instantly. And those decisions come from the heart. "It's just few simple words..." "Why is there still a rift between us?" "I can't say it or control it." "Why is this helplessness?" "You dwell in me I dwell in you." "You're fo rme I'm for you." "It's not easy to find love here." "Not everyone... finds love in life." "Not everyone... finds love in life." "We're fortunate to experience..." "...this beautiful feeling in life." "Not everyone... finds love in life." "Without love... life is meaningless." "Without a lover... devotion is meaningless." "Without love... life is meaningless." "Without love... life is meaningless." "Without a lover... devotion is meaningless." "You're my happiness." "You're my love." "When we're together everything's okay?" "So why pretend to be strangers?" "You dwell in me I dwell in you." "You're for me I'm for you." "It's not easy to find love here." "Not everyone... finds love..." "Not everyone... finds love..." Brother. Brother I... Hey... What the hell is this? Sir it's entirely my fault. I gave him my uniform. He's new in Delhi. - Jadhav. - Yadav sir. Whatever. Type his suspension letter. And file charges on Shiv. 1. Damaging public property. 2.Assaulting the Home Minister's son. 3. Donning a police uniform. 4. Slapping an on-duty constable. He never slapped me sir. He did now. Write it down. Sir... what are you doing ACP sir? You're misusing your power and position. Who is he? I... Look he's Shiv's father. I called them. Uncle. Hello uncle. You should've told me earlier. I... Uncle why did you take the trouble? You should've called me. What would you like to have? Black coffee green tea? Get some water for uncle. Take a seat don't stand. Sit. Sit. Please. Ayushman! What the... Filmy emotion. Hit here but the pain's there. Stop it! Ayushman! ACP sir what are you doing? Get lost. Listen old man. Ayushman! I'm going to skew your son everyday in my jail. Day-night. I'll make him suffer slowly. I'll pressure him to death. Every time he breathes... I'll file new charges against him. I'll make his life hell but won't kill him. Because people are mistaken about death. When actually life makes you suffer. Get lost. Bloody cripple. Satyakant. The law rules the people here... follow only Ayushman Thakur. But we've to get Shiv justice under any condition. We'll need to deal with Ayushman Thakur... we'll need someone as tough as him. And we know which tough guy I mean. You're right Raghunath. No matter how polluted the water is... it always douses fire. Ayushman Thakur. Only abada** can deal with the likes of you. I will call him and he'll come. Life won't trouble you anymore he will. That mountain's coming... to lock horns with you every moment. That mountain's coming to fight for my son. Boss... Boss. Boss... Boss. Boss... Boss. Boss... Boss. Boss... Boss. Boss... Boss. Boss... Boss. Boss... Boss. Boss... Boss. Boss... Boss. Boss... Boss. Boss... Boss. Boss... Boss. Boss... Boss. You're here to settle the scores... Then come face me in the middle. What are you doing on the right? You fool. Haven't you heard? The Boss is always right. Then you can stand on the right and talk. Because this chair is occupied. I'm the Boss after all. I always carry my rocking chair along. See. You call this a chair! What do I care? I just want to get the water. Bajrang I've just one business. Transport. - What business? - Transport. Don't interfere! Bajrang all these trucks are from my uncle. Except for one. Except for one? Once I saved my sister's honor. She gifted me this vehicle as a token. And what did I do? I named it' Bahen Ki Lorry' (Sister's truck). What did I name it? 'Bahen Ki Lorry'! Don't interfere! 20trucks! Because I'll buy all the stuff at the right price. Because everyone knows... I'm not a cheater. Like everyone knows you are. What do they know? Say it. Say it. I've to conclude my dialogue. No. Say it. - Cheating. - Don't interfere! Beat him! Trilok. Play the music... so I can whack their drums. Okay... Boss! What happened? What's wrong? - He hit the Boss? - What now? Hey! Start the music. What are you doing? I'm not getting in the mood. Come on. Save me. Save me. Save me. Help. Help. Save me. What do I care? I just want to get the water. Boss. Thank you. You're truly our benefactor. That's not true uncle. The real benefactor's the One up there. Boss. Tauji... wants to meet you... tomorrow. Regarding anew contract. Trilok your name's really apt. Three diseases locked in your body. I can't drink a glass of water in a single breath... and you hiccup sneeze and cough. Get your self treated. I've changed my doctor. But Boss. Trilok's contract is for tomorrow. And tomorrow's Saturday. Trilok! Saturday means no work. Only singing and dancing. "Whoa!" "There's clam our all around." "When the boss roars." "Once he gets enraged." "He rips the earth apart." "Attitude like a minister." "Everyone takes my favour." "I've a high approach." "I'm the Boss." "I'm still rustic." "All trucks have AC." "The music's always high." "I am the Boss." "Boss." "The ace of spades Boss." "He's one in a million Boss." "It's written everywhere Boss." "Boss." "Boss." "The king of six-packs Boss." "Wears only branded clothes Boss." "Only attitude makes you Boss." "Boss." "Boss." "I never praise myself." "I'm only scared of the Lord." "If anyone tries to be my boss." "I beat him to a pulp and show him his place." "The only king of Haryana." "I've a huge fan-following." "But it doesn't make a difference to me." "He's the only benefactor for all of us." "I'm a little naughty at heart." "But I never make a fool of me." "I like you today." "Come on baby. Don't be mean." "Let's take you on a ride." "Buy you Gucci and Louis..." "Akshay Kumar's my brother." "Just say it and I'll get your picture clicked with him." "Boss." "The ace of spades Boss." "He's one in a million Boss." "It's written everywhere Boss." "Boss." "Boss." "The king of six-packs Boss." "Wears only branded clothes Boss." "Only attitude makes you Boss." "Boss." "Boss." One of our viewers has sent us this picture... through MMS. Look at the ugly facet of the police... Mr. Pradhan. You here? Are you here with the token? Token? I'm here to show you your qualities. Take look. Take look how ACP Ayushman Thakur... is openly assaulting an injured man... in a quiet housing-society. The people demand an answer from the police. Because if the protector turns cruel... then whom will the people go to? The police are often accused... Mr. Pradhan those with name... Often get defamed. But I'm a minister. If get defamed my party will be finished. Vishwas fired a shot. If Shiv's questioned... then me and my son will be in trouble. The election's around the corner. The media cannot be trusted. Why don't you understand this? Let's take care of Shiv permanently. Let's burn him and bury his body. I want to be on the top touch the sky... and you're still busy burying people. I want to be a hit in politics not be on someone's hit-list. - Mr. Pradhan... - Enough. You won't move a muscle. I'll take care of things now. If anyone asks say that Shiv's still being investigated. The dog will definitely die. But someone else will kill him. Get it. Let's burn him and bury his body. Someone else. Boss. The inspector's here... To inquire about Bajrang. Go on. Go to the dispensary. Otherwise even the rats at home will fall sick. Welcome Inspector. For the first time... an inspector's surrounded by goons. - Boss... - Hey! You don't show the finger to the Boss. Aren't you ashamed? You thrashed Bajrang's men in Rajanwadi. When someone's fit for a beating he's bound to get it. But where's Bajrang? He's been missing since you thrashed him. No matter where the rat hides... you're going to blame me for it. Boss. You're acting too smart because Bajrang is still missing. What will you do if you find him? I will lock you up... lock you up for assaulting him. There's your man. All the pain you took delivered him. Now you beat him up along with me. Now you'll be arrested too. But... proof? C! C! TV! CCTV! CC... Inspector. It's all about perspective. Two strands of hair in a glass of milk seems gross... but on a bald head it seems too less. From my perspective... the Boss did justice to the farmers. Because... The Boss is always right. - Say it louder. - Hail Goddess! - Boss... - He sneezed again. Pale Anna. Welcome. Welcome Pale Anna. Boss. Sorry for canceling that meeting. Not at all issue sir. The contract's for a schoolteacher. You've to kill him. I've brought the money along. Driver let's go. Oh God! He didn't even have tea... Don't interfere! He made a big mistake. He could've brought a contract for anyone... but not a schoolteacher. Go ahead. This way. This way. Goal. Shiv won. Rajan lost. Shiv won. Rajan lost. Goal! Goal! Goal! Goal! Why play if you're a sore loser Rajan? Brother! Are you okay Shiv? Yes brother. See. He's back to save his brother. A little longer and... his brother would've been crippled like his father. Speak up. What's your answer? He abused you father. Satyakant. Better teach your son... before teaching Dharam kunj. Start teaching about right and wrong at home. Look. Look how cruelly he's been beaten up. Only a thug or goon can beat someone like this. You seem to know a lot about goons. What do you want to say? Am I a goon? Your son's action justifies that. Surya! Forth first time... I hit someone. That too my son. You will never hit anyone again. I... apologise... On behalf of my son. Let's go! This boy has humiliated Satyakant's honor. I'll handle him. Satyakant! Satyakant! Brother. Shiv. He abused father. I can endure anything in life. But if anyone abuses my father. I won't endure that. The teacher's reputation was maligned. What happened today? Why is he so timid today? On one hand the father los this reputation... and the son his stubbornness. Look Rajan. I'm not saying anything because father's asked me to. What a family? The son can't speak the father can't walk. Brother! Teacher. Surya and Rajan are fighting again. Brother! Surya! Father. Father. It's not brother's fault... Shut up! Until you two don't patch up... you will stay locked in the same room. Surya's returning to Dharampurafter3 years. Won't you go bring him home Satyakant? He hasn't achieved any act of bravery... that I should welcome him. He's a murderer. He's returning after serving his sentence. Exactly Satyakant. He's served his time. Look Satyakant. Every saint has a past... and every sinner has a future. If you don't support him at this delicate moment... then you might lose him forever. Father. Please forgive brother. Let's go. Hail Mahadev! Look. I've already been punished for my crimes. Let's end this enmity. For that one needs to kill the enemy. Understand! Go on. Kill him! Catch him. No matter what color you paint on black... it'll still remain black. Raghunath. He's already slipped out of our hands. And now he's out of Satyakant Shashtri's life too. Shiv. Listen carefully. Satyakant has just one son. And that's you. And you. Satyakant. Get out of here. There's no place for a murderer in Dharam kunj. From today you're dead for me and for all of us. You're dead! You're dead! Brother! Brother! Brother! So Boss. You should've called me instead uncle. No no it's always the needy that come to the provider. How can someone like you be sulking? What's wrong? Nothing uncle. People live their lives... I'm teaching my life to live that's all. Long ago I gave you an advice. Forgo rangefinder your enemy with a smile. I think you didn't learn. I did. I learned. I also learnt that if you want to move ahead... pull down your opponent's pants. He'll bend over and I'll hop over him. And I'll win. That's it. Come on let's talk work. There's a contract. Let's sit and talk. - Yes. - You won't learn. Let's talk business. The job is from Home Minister Pradhan... and he's an old customer. And the contract's ACP Thakur. This boy recently arrived in Delhi. And he tried to disgrace Ayushman's sister. They need outside help so I had to come to you. Uncle. Is your information right. Why? What's wrong? The boy looks decent. I can't believe. Sometimes innocent looking people... are the most dangerous ones. And the Big Boss has accepted the contract... and that's it. End of discussion. If the contract's been taken the job will be done. Fine then I'll leave. - See you uncle. - Bless you. Boss. An elderly person's waiting for you outside. I asked him to come in but he refused. He's standing outside in the hot sun. Ask him what he wants. No he wants to meet only you. What's his name? Name. Satyakant Shashtri. What happened? What did you say? Satyakant Shashtri. "Your father's your identity." "Your father's your life." "The only reason you're alive..." "...is because of the life your father gave you." "Your father's..." "Your God." "All the Gods..." "...dwell in you." "All the Gods..." "...dwell in you." "All the Gods... dwell in you." Father... You... here... To see me. I'm here to meet the Boss. I'm here to give a contract to a gangster. This is... This is the picture of my son. His life's in danger. You've to save me. I am so unfortunate and helpless. I had to see this day. I had to request a goon to save my son. But I didn't come empty-handed. That's not all. This is just the advance. Satyakant Acharya Shashtri... will sell his home his land everything. But he'll pay you your price. Father. Please come in. I'm a simple decent and self-respecting man. Visiting a gangster's house is... a sin for me. "What's the value of a father?" "I could never know when I was close." "Love your father." "But could never say." "Your father... means everything..." Father you dwell in my heart my mind my soul. Every inch of my body except for one place. My destiny. "All the Gods..." "...dwell in you." What's this? Just one bundle. Trilok. That's worth millions for your Boss. Boss. Ayushman Thakur gave a contract to kill him. And this uncle wants to save him. Both are same Boss. Take look. Boss. Who was he? He's your Boss' father. Father. And he left. Small brother. Small brother. - He's handsome right. - Yes. Just like me. Boss. That means... That means... ACP Ayushman Thakur's the one... that's been duping the Big Boss. A goon in police uniform. What now Boss? Now Delhi's not too far. Ayushman Thakur. I'm coming... to turn your birthplace into your graveyard. Now Boss will fight because... The Boss is always right! No children. Because... Father is always right! Catch me. Catch me. Run. Run. The police are here. Run. Run. Ayushman. Ayushman. Ayushman. The Boss has received advance. I still say let's bury Shiv and burn him. Stop it. You see... first time my father's money... is being put to good use. Just let the job get done. These children don't even let me drink tea peacefully. Hey! Verma's son. Listen. Cute isn't he. Yuck! Take this. Listen. You see Bittoo. Shoot him here. Where will you shoot him? - Here. - Good. Go on son. Okay uncle. Thank you uncle. Welcome son. Rascals. What did you do? Is that empty? Yes. It's empty. Just one bullet. Hey! Stop. Ram. Gopal. What's his name? Verma. Stop. Stop. What are you? What if he had fired? If he had fired Bittoo would be dead... and Verma's son would've been hanged. The same thing... will imply on Boss and Shiv. I didn't get it. Boss will kill Shiv... and he'll be foreshadowing crime. But the Boss workforces. I don't trust my father. It's an old rule. First clear the garbage then clearly record. Hi Ankita. Hi. Why did you come out? From today your outgoing... Yeah hello. And your phone's incoming is barred. Go lock yourself in the room. There are 200 channels on Tata Sky. Sit at home and watch television. I'll call you when it's time for the engagement... and nuptial ceremonies. Don't come out until I don't call you. Go. Don't stand here. Do you want a slap? Come on. Yes okay okay okay. Ayushman. Boss is in Delhi. See. Like this. Like this. Do you see? Where's the Boss? Boss. He's jogging. On the jogging truck. Sick man. It's called a jogging track. You punk. It's jogging truck. Look. Truck! What the... See. What do I care? All I want is to get the water. Your sweat's so strong. It made the plants grow. That's what you call power-plant. Power-plant! So you're Ayushman Thakur. Trilok. Boss. Arrange the meeting in the 5-star lobby. What's this? I'm the Boss after all. I always carry my portable lobby along. Sit. Where do I sit? Here. Don't sit there you fool. It'll crack the eggs. So there are eggs inside? No. There are nails. They'll pierce through. Yes Mr. Thakur. How can I be of service? Are you going to kill Shiv in jail? Why are you being so eager Thakur? I know all about you. First you clear the garbage and then your record. Thakur. If kill him in your jail... won't there be an investigation on you? The media's been showing your footage with that boy... and boring you to death. If kill him won't you be blamed? He's right. Then what do we do? It's simple. We won't kill Shiv in jail. We'll get him out first and then... Superb. Let him escape. What do you say Ayushman? Let's make him flee from jail. Stupid fool. Make him flee? Mr. Thakur wants to become the CP. Tomorrow if people find out that... one of his inmates has escaped... then you can flush his chances of a promotion... down the drain. Good. What's on your mind? Clear all the charges against Shiv... and set him free. Once his connection's severed from you... I'll cut his connection with life permanently. Wow! What an idea! Great. I'm the boss after all. Free advice along with contract. Fine. I'll give Shiv clean chit and release him. Good. But don't mess up the contract. He won't. How can he? When he kills Shiv I'll be with him. Right Boss. Double-checking! Double-checking! Double-checking! Get out. Go on. Let's go. Who are you? Boss. Dad our player's entered the field. Yes. Wow! Now I understand why that ACP let me go. So that the Boss can kill you? So what are you waiting for? Come on kill me. Not even your father... Don't speak about my father! Because I can endure anything. But I can never endure anyone abusing my father. 'I can endure anything.' 'But if anyone abuses my father.' 'I cannot endure that.' Brother! I'm your brother. I want to hug you bro. But... the rascal on the left keeping an eye on us. Look. Dad. The Boss has Shiv in his grip. Yes. He's too good. Now play along with me. But I can't act. That's the problem with you new-comers. That's why I've come prepared. Look. Take a good look. Look. - This is the lion's paw. - Yes. If that's a paw... then I have a strong hand. And when I pound someone with this... he never gets up again. Strong arm! Dad Shiv turned out to be a Sunny Deol fan. Sunny Deol. Sunny Deol. You'll be the one running for your life... when you see this muscle. These aren't muscles but fire. See carefully. Don't do me any A.R. Rehman? A.R. Rehman? A.R. Rehman? A.R. Rehman? Where's A.R. Rehman? Who? Do me a favour don't do me any favour. I'll do just one favour on you. And that's this... I've lost it now. Don't anger me. Now push me down. Snatch my gun and run. That wasn't for you to read do it fool. Prove what you say and I'll believe it. Yes. Rascal. Attacking from the back. Shiv and the Boss are fighting. Attack. The gun's in Shiv's hands. Hello. - Take the gun. - What? Take the gun. Don't run. Don't run. Don't take my car. Don't change gears. It's automatic. Okay. Don't move. Don't drive too fast. Don't drive too fast. Stop. Hey! Boss. He humiliated me and escaped. Vishal. He'll run out of petrol someday. That day I'll gun him down. Scoundrel! Hello son. What happened? Did the Boss kill Shiv? No dad. He grew plants. Grew plants? Grew plants? Boss! Boss! Boss! "Move aside man." "Can't you see the Boss' coming?" "Boss. Boss." "I never spare. I beatup thrash..." "...those who lock horns with me." "I never spare. I beatup thrash..." "...those who lock horns with me." "With the straightened collar." "And the torn jeans." "With the world tied around my finger." "I move on merrily." "Swaying left and right." "The fun's full-on." "Who can stop me?" "The fun's full-on." "Who can stop me?" "I never spare. I beatup thrash..." "...those who lock horns with me." "If anyone talks with an attitude." "I'll string him up on the moon." "I've a carefree attitude." "I'm the Boss while the rest... are my slaves." "All the while they... salute me." "The world follows... my rules." "I know I am stubborn." "But I've a clear heart." "That's the song I strum on my guitar." "And without a worry on my mind." "I move on merrily." "Swaying left and right." "The fun's full-on." "Who can stop me?" "The fun's full-on." "Who can stop me?" "It's not over yet fool." "Beat the drums." "Play the guitar." "Now the flute. Don't you want to catch your breath?" "Orchestra. Play." "I've a simple philosophy." "Live life filled with fun and frolic." "I want the heart to be always happy." "I am amazing." "You can ask all the beauties." "I made their hearts beat." "My news is all over the papers... every day." "I love on my own terms." "If you don't believe me you can ask anyone." "I move on merrily." "Swaying left and right." "The fun's full-on." "Who can stop me?" "I never spare. I beatup thrash..." "...those who lock horns with me." "I never spare. I beatup thrash..." "...those who lock horns with me." "The Boss has left stop jumping around." Don't tell father I'm here. Go. Why? You got me exempted from all the charges and set me free. Maybe father will be pleased upon hearing this... and might forget the... What Shiv? Are you crazy? You're getting carried away. I'm just a goon-on-hire for father. Goon! If he finds out he'll sell his property... and give me my final payment. I know my father. Welcome. Welcome. Father's self respecting. He'll be stubborn. Go on. Tell him you got out of jail on your own. Go. Why? What about your happiness? Your feelings? What about my feelings? All I want is to get water what else? Go on. Go on. Go on. Go on. Go. It's normal in the market. - There he is. - Father. Son. How are you? - How are you? - I'm fine. You're looking nice. Yes. Yes. - Is everything okay? - Yes. - All okay. - Yes father. Shall we go? Bravo! What? Scared of all these men? No normally there's always a bunch of beggars outside the temple. Minister Pradhan's sent us. We're here to take you to ACP Pradhan's farm house. Come quietly or else we'll beat you up. No. I am scared. I'm frightened. Look at this I'm getting goose-bumps. Don't beat me. Don't beat me. Boss. Run! Jump. You jump. Tell me something will anybody be at home? Daddy the Boss is here all alone. Where are our goons? Hello sir. I could've pulverized your goons back there. But then I had a brainstorm. I left those rascals back in those lanes. And I came visiting your home. And thought why don't I come to your home... drink water in your house and... break their bones here. Sir you know... Don't interfere! What do I care? - All I want is to... - Get water out. Welcome Tauji. I've invited him here specially... to tell him about your deeds. And show him too. Your man's taken our contract... and he's been beating up our men... instead of doing our job. Enough! My rule is we can sacrifice our kin... but never fail from completing a contract. Sometimes... we make a mistake. In life we often make small mistakes... as well as big ones. They are 3D villains. 3 generous villains. They gave me one chance to catch that scoundrel. They'll give me a second chance. Third... fourth... fifth... Stop it. Are you going to keep running after him all your life? Mr. Pradhan. Contract cancel. What did you say? What did you say? We cancel the contract we gave you. Cancel! Cancel! Cancel! Uncle you heard. They cancelled the contract. When the contract's canceled... there's no question of betraying. Now I'll make a call. - Zoravar. - Yes. Were you waiting on the pole? Yes. Contract canceled advance returned. Very fast. Darling Ankita. Go inside. Ankita hold on. Did you have to interfere? Hello. I'll come straight to the point. Do you love Shiv? I... Hey. Move aside. Your brother wants to get you married to that moron. - Moron? - Look at his face. Do you love Shiv? Yes. Do you want to marry him? Yes. Yes! Don't be mad. He has an entire army with him. The Boss announces a contract... to get Shiv and Ankita married. But Boss how can you start the contract... without advance money? This is against your system. - You're right. - Yes. Contract money? Hey moron come here. Yes Boss. That's it. I've the advance money. Fine. Brothers will pay for their sister's betterment. Fool. No. Tauji. He's getting Shiv married to Ankita instead of killing him. Why don't you say something? The Boss has taken up anew contract. The rules say... you may sacrifice akin. But never miss a contract. And anyway this is about blood-ties and not contract. Because Shiv is my brother. I'll say it three times. He's my brother... my brother... my brother. Ayushman. Remember. The Boss' blood boils. And when it does he spares no one. You were right Ayushman. We should've burnt him. We should've buried him. Go on. Go... Didn't you hear? Shiv is the Boss' brother. Brother. The Boss is being over-enthusiastic... but I'm going to use my brains. By playing the right card at the right moment. Daddy. By the time he plays his cards... Shiv and Ankita will already have their honeymoon. I'm moron. Hold on. Jabbar bhai. Dad call Jabbar bhai right now. On the spot finish his entire family right now. - Father's here. - So what? - Father's here. - Shiv? I told you we'll be visiting the saint's tomb one day. And return to Benaras after that. We'll visit the shrine today. It's a good day today. I'm pleased that you've been released. And even happier... that you didn't need that goon's help for it. Brother... Brother come in. No actually I couldn't do the job. So I'm here to return Mr. Satyakant's money. Brother come... come in. - I'll leave. - Please. Please. Brother come... I'm going to the shrine. Are you coming? Yes father. Can brother come along too? Everyone has a free will. They can come if they want or not come... if they don't want to. It doesn't make a difference to me. How much is this for? You dare attack from behind? Come on put it in neutral. Who is it? Jabbar sir it wasn't us. Here. Get your self treated. Here. Goodbye. That's Jabbar the beggar... What happened? Did the tank explode? No you've been exposed. Take look. Look. Last night was the most embarrassing night... in the History of politics. The entire country was shocked to see this. 25 MLA s of minister Vishwas Pradhan... were caught along with prostitutes late in the night... and in front of the entire media. The unknown person that informed the media... calls himself a social-worker. This is a conspiracy of the opposition. The parliament speaker... has decided to suspend all the MLA s. And the ruling have given a statement that... they are ready for a hung assembly... But they will never take the support of these MLA s. I am ruined. My power's gone. And wife too. Rascal swine pervert. Yes! Is this why you disappeared every other day? No no I... I snatched your power. Next you attack my father... I'll pull the earth from under your feet. And this isn't just a statement... it's the Boss' prediction. Boss! Ankita has to come sir. Shivani is a common friend. And her mom's in the ICU. She's in a state of shock. So I thought if Ankita just met Shivani once... she will feel better. And anyway I couldn't contact Ankita earlier. So I had to come here. Okay. Take her along. But... You will bring Ankita back home... sooner than Shivani's mother's eager to die. Okay sir. I... I'll bring her back home soon. Go. Hurry up Dimple. Poor Shivani... What happened? I'm taking you to Shiv not Shivani. What? Shivani's mom is alright. Now call him. Here's my phone. - Shiv. - Ankita how are you? I wasn't okay until now but... I'll feel better after I meet you. Actually I'm going out to see my brother. He's throwing a party today. Why don't you two come too. He's invited influential people. Fine send me the address. I'll be there. Okay I'll send it right now. "Open up the bottles." "Let the alcohol pour." "Take a peg and forget the world." "Party all night." "Party all night." "Party all night." "We do all party all night." "Hear me out everyone." "No matter how hard you try." "We'll party all night." "Stop us if you can." "Party all night." "Party all night." "Party all night." "We do all party all night." "Hear me out everyone." "No matter how hard you try." "We'll party all night." "Stop us if you can." "Open up the bottles." "Let the alcohol pour." "Take a peg and forget the world." "Keep playing on..." "Everyone... Keep playing on." "Everyone... Keep playing on." "Everyone... Keep playing on." "Party all night." "Party all night." "Party all night." "We do all party all night." "Party all night." "Party all night." "We do all party all night." "Anyone who wants to party come inside." "Whisky Teachers... and chicken to relish on." "Girls from Noida Gurgaon and Delhi have come over." "They've also brought CDs of Yo-Yo." "Passengers... are responsible for their luggage." "Party all night tomorrow's Sunday." "When the music plays loud aunt will call the police." "Someone tell aunt the party will still go on." "Party all night." "Party all night." "Party all night." "We do all party all night." "Aunt will call the police." "Aunt will call the police." "Aunt will call the police." "Aunt will call the police." "Hear me out everyone." "No matter how hard you try." "We'll party all night." "Stop us if you can." "Open up the bottles." "Let the alcohol pour." "Take a peg and forget the world." "Keep playing on..." "Everyone... Keep playing on." "Everyone... Keep playing on." "Everyone... Keep playing on." "Party all night." "Party all night." "Party all night." "We do all party all night." "Free booze free food." "Everyone's saying no going home tonight." "Message your dad." "Make some excuse and come join me." "The party's too good." "The views are just stunning." "There's just one problem." "Uncle's still a bachelor." "The girl in shorts is gulping down vodka." "She can't finish one but she's ordered another." "Look at her dance she's setting the stage on fire." "Look at your size and you're creating a ruckus." "Party all night." "Party all night." "Party all night." "We do all party all night." "Aunt will call the police." "Aunt will call the police." "Aunt will call the police." "Aunt will call the police." "Still... The party will go on." "The party will go on." "The party will go on." "The party will go on." "Hear me out everyone." "No matter how hard you try." "We'll party all night." "Stop us if you can." "Open up the bottles." "Let the alcohol pour." "Take a peg and forget the world." "Keep playing on..." "Everyone... Keep playing on." "Everyone... Keep playing on." "Everyone... Keep playing on." "Aunt will call the police." "Aunt will call the police." "Aunt will call the police." "Aunt will call the police." "The party will go on." "The party will go on." "The party will go on." "The party will go on." Sonakshi I really liked that you attended the party. Me too. Hello. Just a minute. Yes. Fine. Shiv. The police are beating up my men. I've to go. Take Ankita and Dimple home okay. Look after yourself. Hey. When will we meet again? At the end of the movie. - Bye. - Hurry up please. Or else my dad will kill me. Bye. Bye. Bye. - Some water? - Thanks. Ayushman. On one hand you claim to love my sister. And on the other you rape her best friend. Rape? Rape. Rape. Rape. What nonsense. Dimple what happened? How did this happen? Tell him... She's already said everything. She's given her statement. Read it. Shiv brought me to Kurukshetra... which is 142 kilometres from Delhi... and raped me in this car. Enough. I'll handle it from here. Heard that. Anything that you say anything that you don't say... will definitely be used against you. Ayushman you don't know... You don't know that rape is a serious crime. No bail and along prison sentence. You'll live like a dog get that. You're trying to trap me in this. Dimple's lying. - You know... - Who's lying? She's lying. Will a decent girl defame herself? Did she bring you here? Did she bring you here? You didn't bring her. She... drugged the water. She made you drink it. She got you unconscious. Listen boy. It's all about facts and figures. You were stuck on her figure. And the fact is... that you're a bloody rapist. Understand. Come out. Ayushman what are you doing? Come on. Ayushman this is wrong. Ayushman you're doing the wrong thing. What are you doing? I am doing my duty... and now I'm going to sc***wyou. - Ayushman you... - Hold on. What? What? You... You think Dimple's apart of my plan. Is that what you think? You are right. She is part of my plan. She sleeps with me every night. So she can at least do this much Boss. That reminds me... Look... let's forget what you think. Think about what your brother's dilemma... when he finds out. Kurukshetra. The Boss' land of destiny. He's honored and respected here. I'll get areal kick out of this. When I'll defame your brother using you. I'll humiliate you but he'll feel ashamed. That's why they say... People defame death. Life... makes you suffer. This is the second time I hit anyone. And both the times it was you only you. I was scared since the moment I learnt... Shiv's going outwith you. Now he's paying forit. Behind bars. "Okay, sounds good," and he's gonna go off and do whatever he wants to do. And you know that. So my advice to you is, please, get confirmation on these rumors, and get the truth, and share that truth with Steve. Because you know and I know that he's not gonna stop until he gets it. Are you sure it was Sato's men? I don't know. It could've been the Triads. Here's what you need to do. You need to get yourself out of Hong Kong. You got to get to one of Doris's safe houses, okay? No. Kono... Look, not without Adam. You're still a target. They're not gonna take you off their hit list just because they already have Adam. I'm not leaving him, Chin. Kono, listen to me! What good are you gonna be to Adam if you're dead? Look, just get yourself out of Hong Kong, okay? Let us worry about getting Adam back. He gave himself up for me. He sacrificed himself so I could get away. We will find him. I promise. Now, please, will you do what I'm asking? Cousin, I love you, but I have to do this. (sniffles) STEVE: Okay, listen. HPD canvassed the area where our little car thief found the Impala. Unfortunately, there's no traffic cameras down there, so we're never gonna know who dropped it off. What about you? You get anything? Yeah. The cell that led us to Cutler? Yeah. Found something interesting on it. What? All right, so according to Abby, Cutler used this phone exclusively to contact her. Right. But... look at this. The last number Cutler dialed was to a different number. Right. And check out the time. 10:51. That's two minutes after the shooting started, which means that not only did Cutler not die instantly... He was alive long enough to place a phone call. Let me see that. Exactly. (phone speed dialing) (automated tones) AUTOMATED VOICE: We're sorry... Disconnected? Yeah. Probably a burner. Okay, so this guy, he takes two at close range, he's bleeding out. He doesn't call 911, he calls some mystery number. We need to find out who was on the other end. (phone ringing) Chin. On the way. JOE: Cutler had a ton of classified material on his hard drive, all related to Palek's various military projects. STEVE: Wait. Cutler didn't have security clearance; how'd he get the intel? From his wife. He installed a pretty sophisticated piece of malware on Sandra Cutler's laptop, and so he was able to have access to all of her work files, e-mails, everything. So not only was this guy violating the marriage, but he was violating her privacy and stealing her security clearance. Now here's where it get really interesting. It turns out, Cutler was routinely downloading classified data onto flash drives. Sounds like he was spying for somebody. That's what we were thinking. CATHERINE: If you're right, that would explain where he's getting all that extra cash. It would also explain why he got murdered. The type of people that would pay Cutler to spy for them probably wouldn't think twice about killing him if their relationship went south, right? Okay, so if Cutler is selling classified info, who's the buyer? CHIN: I reached out to my friends over at FBI Counterintelligence, and they say the most likely suspects are this trio of private companies. JOE: Himmel Aerospace and Defense. That's Palek's chief rival. Check out one of the names of their subsidiaries. Kahiku Management Company? They rent out the cabin where Cutler was killed. Well, that can't be a coincidence. Up until now, we thought that that was a place that Cutler used just to bring Abby Maxwell, but what if it was also a dead drop for those flash drives? All right, Chin, uh, who runs Himmel's operations on the island? CHIN: That would be a Lee Benner. Let's go say hello. So you're accusing us of corporate espionage and murder. That's absurd. John Cutler was gunned down in a secluded cabin managed by your company. You gonna tell me that was a coincidence? Yes. If that's what actually happened. What do you mean, "if it happened"? I was there. I saw it happen. Well, I'm sorry, but I haven't heard anything about a murder at one of our properties, so... you must be mistaken. There's been no mistake. You guys killed Cutler and then you covered it up. Show me some proof. (door buzzes) Well... ask and you shall receive. BENNER: What's this? CHIN: That's a lab report. See, we just matched up the tire tracks found at the scene to a van registered to your company. How's that for proof? STEVE: So why don't you tell me what happened with Cutler. Did he up his price and it piss you off? Maybe you thought he'd been compromised. What happened? What happened? ! (sighs) Yes, Cutler was spying for us. Yes, we scrubbed the crime scene. But we didn't kill him, come on. STEVE: Oh, of cour... I'm sorry, right. So somebody else killed him and you covered it up? That doesn't make any sense. It's the truth. Is it? We didn't want anyone connecting Cutler back to us. So, yes, we covered it up. Look, Cutler was feeding us good intel. There was... there was no reason to kill him. In fact, we tried to save him. What? What are you talking about? He called us for help right after he'd been shot. And-and I can prove that, too. We had a burner phone that we kept in touch with him... We know about the phone. What happened next? We sent a medic. But by the time he got there, Cutler had been dead for a while. After that, we were just, you know, worried about controlling the situation. Damage control. Well, maybe you ought to start worrying about your legal defense, because right now you're looking at obstruction of justice and accessory after the fact. Okay. Yeah, you got me dead to rights. But... maybe... we could help each other out. How do you figure? Well, what if I were to say that, um... in the course of cleaning the crime scene, my people... may have gathered evidence. Evidence that could help you catch whoever killed Cutler. (sighs) What a mess. With all the cross- contamination, we'll be lucky to pull a single print off of any of this stuff. Do what you can, okay? It's all we've got to go on. Yeah. ♪ ♪ JOHN: When he was five years old, I asked my son Steve what he wanted to be when he grew up. "I want to be a cop, Dad, like you." I told him to... be anything but that. STEVE: Let's change this out, huh? Oh... I'm sorry. You all right? Mm-hmm. This could've done with some more stitches. What are you laughing at? Uh... (laughs) I was just thinking back to the last time I needed stitches. All right. Billy and I were on an operation in Kabul... Yeah. ...and, uh, I got this nasty cut on the back of my head. It was gonna take, like, 15, 20 stitches to close it up, but all we had were Band-Aids. (chuckles) Yeah. What'd you do? Billy just grabbed these huge clumps of hair around the cut and tied them together. (laughs) Like a... like a shoelace. That's pretty resourceful. I know. All right, you're good. I just can't believe he's gone. Yeah. And for what? For trying to save a guy like John Cutler? Now, listen to me, all right? Billy saw somebody in danger, and he reacted, all right? That's what he did. And the fact that he knew the kind of man that Cutler was and he still put himself in harm's way? He was a hero, Catherine. Yeah. (knocks) I just got off the phone with the lab. There's something you're both gonna want to see. What do you got? Well, there were no prints on any of the shell casings from our shooter's gun. But the lab did find traces of blood on one of the slugs from Billy's gun. Wait a minute. Billy hit the shooter? Apparently. That's my boy. It must've been a through-and-through. I bet the slug was imbedded in the cabin wall and our cleaner dug it out. You run the blood? Yeah, we got a match, too. Our killer's a guy by the name of Jason Kroll. He's believed to be a hit man. HPD had him as a suspect in two homicide cases last year, but couldn't make anything stick. We got any idea who hired this guy to kill Cutler? No, but courtesy of his parole officer, we have a current address. So why don't we go ask him. STEVE: Jason Kroll! Five-O! I got blood. STEVE: Move. Jason Kroll? Five-O! Open the door! CATHERINE: Jason? We know you're hurt. We can get you help. But first we need to know that you're not armed. (gunshots) He's armed. (gunshot) You think? (gun clicks empty) We need the paramedics right now. Right now, Catherine, go! Catherine, now! Paramedics, let's go! Okay. Who hired you to kill John Cutler? Don't you die on me you son of a bitch. You hear me? Hey! Who hired you? ! STEVE: You got anything? Nothing. Keep looking. There's got to be something here that's gonna tell us who hired this guy. Guys? I think I got something. What? Okay, so it looks like Kroll was hired over the Tor Network. What is that? It's kind of like a shadow Internet. Some people call it "the Dark-net." It was originally created by the Navy, but nowadays it's utilized mostly by criminals because it allows them to be completely anonymous. So tracing an I.P.? Is not gonna happen, but... here comes the good news. According to these e-mails, Kroll wouldn't take the Cutler job unless the client revealed himself. And did they? Not at first. But they came around. Here-- looks like they sent their last message outside of the network. And that I.P. we can trace. ABBY: But I liked John. Why would I kill him? Well, maybe you liked him more than you let on. You wanted John to take you away from your secret little escort life, but he had no intentions of ending his marriage. A woman scorned, Abby. It's the oldest motive there is. CATHERINE: These e-mails? They were sent to the shooter. We traced the I.P. address. Comes straight from this office. (sighs) O-Only I couldn't have sent these. See the date and the time? I wasn't here; I was with a client at a hotel on Kalakaua. I can prove it. Okay, Abby, who else has got access to your computer? Just my assistant Andrew. He's taking off. Hey. Hey! (siren wailing nearby) (truck horn blaring) (tires screech) You should've let me die. Andrew, why would you do this? I'm in love with you, Abby. I've always loved you. I just wanted you to stop. Unrequited love. Second oldest motive there is. (alarm system chimes) (exhales) Hello, Sam. Geez, Joe. When'd you get back? You know me, I come and go as I please. Family is safe and sound, fast asleep. Well, can I assume you didn't break into my home just to say hello? When John McGarrett was investigating his wife's murder, he found a lot of evidence, bits and pieces. Not all of it made sense to him at the time. You recognize those numbers? Can't say that I do. It's an offshore account. CIA used it to fund black ops. If I gave those numbers to a reporter friend of mine and he started digging, who knows what he might come up with. Or how high it goes. What do you want? Doris McGarrett. I need a location and a phone number. Take my advice, Joe, and just walk away. This one's too hot. Steve McGarrett wants answers, Sam. He's not gonna quit till he gets them. I'll tell you what. Because we're friends... I'll give you the information you want on Doris. You can decide how much of it you want to share with her persistent son. It may be the better part of valor to keep him in the dark... once you hear what I have to say. MAN: Eternal rest grant unto Billy, oh, Lord. And let perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen. Ready. Aim. Fire. (gunshots) Ready. Aim. Fire. (gunshots) Ready. Aim. Fire. (gunshots) (trumpet playing "Taps") ♪ ♪ (guitars playing gentle melody) ♪ Tell me when will the wild wind blow ♪ ♪ Tell me ♪ When will the wild wind blow ♪ ♪ The heart is like a diamond... ♪ Hi. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry, Mr. Harrington. Thank you. Tom. Call me Tom. He talked about you a lot, you know. He said you guys were a lot more than just father and son. That you were real friends. He was a good boy. The best. Thank you. ♪ When will the wild wind blow ♪ People try to tame me ♪ But I only grow more wild... Steve? Hey. JOE: I know that, uh... this is not exactly the time or the place, but I have news about your mom. You gonna give me the whole story this time? I'm pretty sure you didn't give it to me the other night, Joe. You're right, but that's only because at the time I didn't want to burden you with what was only a gut feeling, with fortunately turned out to be wrong. You thought she was dead? I did. But I have confirmation that is not the case. So where is she? When's she coming home? I don't know. And she's not. At least not anytime soon. The word is that Doris is active again. That's all I got. Everything else is classified. It's classified. Wow. Mm. I want you to please keep looking for her. You shake the trees and you find her, okay? Steve, your mom stayed hidden for 20 years. She is not gonna be found. She'll surface when she's ready. Yeah. When do you think that's gonna be? I think that'll be when she's prepared to face you. Hey. How you holding up? I'm, uh... I'm a mess. You know, I just keep telling myself I did everything I could to save him. No, Catherine. Don't do this. What happened is not on you. I was supposed to have his back. How is that not on me? ♪ The minstrel boy ♪ ♪ To the war has gone ♪ ♪ In the ranks ♪ ♪ Of death you'll find him ♪ ♪ His father's sword ♪ ♪ He hath girded on ♪ ♪ With his wild harp strung ♪ ♪ Behind him ♪ ♪ With his wild harp strung behind him. ♪ == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man Lucy, do you understand why you're back at the hospital? Lucy. It's okay. It's okay. Lucy. Listen to me. - You can't run away. - You can't. - We're right here. - You can't run. - Your life. - Please, please, let me out. - Please let me out. - Why don't you listen to me? - We're everywhere. - Don't follow. Let me out! What did you take? What did you take? No. Aah! No! How are your wrists, hon? I'm sorry they restrained you. Lucy. You've had another schizophrenic episode. But we're gonna work on making you well. Lucy, why don't you introduce yourself to the group? Hi, I'm Lucy. I... Obviously. I go to law school. - I went to law school. - She's a schizo. I saw them bring her in all strapped down and screaming. Great. What'd you do, bite a cop? Bruce. Okay. As if our party wasn't full enough with Chuckles, Forgetful, and Her Majesty here, now we add Schizo to the mix. Well, this isn't Club Med, so I doubt you're here for a tan. No, I, uh... I tried to: Because I went off my meds. Me too. Lucy, what do you think led you to make that decision? Um... I wanted to prove to you that you were wrong. Wrong about what? About me. About my diagnosis. And you're not. I have schizophrenia. Ha-ha-ha. I hear you. I hear you. I know. I know. Go, go, flow. Joe, Joe. Doe. Go. I hear you. Hear... Hear... Hear you. Don't eat that. It's wicked gross. Try the pancakes. They come with a cherry. Good morning. Welcome to kindergarten. I couldn't feel stupider. I graduated magna cum laude. Obviously not from art school. - How long do we have to do this? - What, you don't like art therapy? Nice, Edward. I see you've chosen to draw a house. - Is this your childhood home? - Yeah, that's where I was born. I see you've drawn a tree. Do you think you're a tree? Heh, heh. - At least I didn't draw a knife. - What knife? This knife. Oh, you're gonna get your meds upped for that. You should not be drawing knives in art therapy. - All right. - Ha, ha. Don't. Oh! It's almost like an outside force is guiding me. Stop it. Nice work. - You ruined mine. - Sorry. When my little sister was 8, her appendix burst and she was in the hospital for like a week. And she was scared of everything. The doctors, the needles, the, um, weird plastic kidney-shaped thing that she had to pee in. Um... So I made my mom take me to the hospital every day. And I sat by her bed and I painted her nails and we made fun of the nurses together and... I didn't really think I was doing anything that spectacular, you know, because I thought of course I would do that. She would do the same thing for me. But the thing is, um, she hasn't come here to visit me. Not even once. I'm glad they don't come. I don't want anyone to see me in here. It just makes me sad, that's all. Before we end, I just wanted to mention that this is Bruce's last session. He'll be leaving tomorrow. And, Bruce, we really wanna wish you well. I thought they gave you grounds privileges. They did. It's not much of a privilege unless you use it. So you're really leaving? Well, my insurance ran out, so I guess so. Are you ready? Do I have a choice? You cold? Oh. Uh, a little. - Thanks. - Mm-hm. - God, this feels so normal. - Hm. Is that crazy? You thinking the law library was haunted, that's crazy. This is, um... This is fine. What's it like? - What? - Just hearing the voices. Oh, um... It sucks. Well, what does it feel like? Because I just picture it like there's a radio on in your head or something. Um, no, it's not in my head. It's... I actually hear them with my ears. Like people standing behind me, or beside me or creeping up. Sometimes it's just one. And then sometimes it's so many that I can't sort out the voices from my actual thoughts. Well, what do they say? That I should die. That I'm worthless, that I'm evil, stupid. - I'm so sorry. - That I'm... No, it's, um... Yeah, it's terrifying. Do they ever say good things? You know, like: "Your hair smells like cupcakes." Or: "I don't wanna leave you." No, they never say that. Well, then your voices are idiots. - What is it? - It's a labyrinth. You think of a question, - okay? - A question. Mm-hm. Something in your life that needs an answer and then you just walk the path. And maybe you'll get an answer. Okay. A question. Lucy. - He hates you. - This is when you die. I can't. I can't do this. You're disgusting. - I can't. - You're disgusting. - He hates you. He hates you. - Getaway from him. Getaway. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Lucy, did you hear me? What? I asked you if you were upset because Bruce left. Am I ever gonna get out? Are you getting sick of me? What I'm getting sick of is Fish-Stick Fridays. You will be leaving at some point, yes. But our sessions don't have to end. I would like to be a regular part of your life. What life? - Lucy. - No, no, you don't understand. I know what my life should look like. I know that I should be in school and starting my career and going on dates and making out in inappropriate places but I'm never gonna be able to do that. I have something for you. Torts. Funny. You know, that's what drove me crazy in the first place. That book didn't cause your psychosis. Law school didn't cause your psychosis. Didn't help. Why did you wanna be a lawyer? I wanted... I wanted to do something that used the part of my brain that was healthy. So, what's different now? I know how the world sees me. And people with schizophrenia aren't lawyers. They're bag ladies. So prove them wrong. Finish law school. You have insight into something very few people understand. Think about this. If you finish law school, who could you help? Their distinct color comes from their main food source, shrimp. Not far away from our flamingo friends... Cat. Bat. Rat-a-tat-tat. - Jack Sprat could eat no fat. - Heh. Right? Right. You're so lucky. Your voices... stop sometimes. Times. Crimes. Limes. Times. I have a secret. It's about my mother. There was the one I told my friends about... the mom I wished I had. She mostly lives in my snow globe. Then there was Up Mom. You see what I'm talking about? Have you ever seen anything as cute as this? Ever? Huh? Bill, isn't my Grace the cutest girl that comes in here? Of all the girls who come in here, isn't my Grace the cutest? Right? Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh, my God, it's just amazing. Two ninety-nine for fabric softener? Not a chance on your life. Do you see this? Two ninety-nine for fabric softener. Look at that. Two ninety-nine, fabric softener. Who wants a fabric softener? Hello? Fabric softener. There you go. You got it. Yours. Heh. - Got ahold of me? - Stop. - What? What? - Stop, Mom. Please stop. It's all right, sweetie. Two ninety-nine. - Mom. Mom, stop... - Oh, sweetness. Oh, angel. You're the best. You're the best in the land. - Stop, please. - This is the very best. The very best girl ever in the whole wide world. The prettiest, smartest, brightest, - greatest, the best. - Mom, please. Oh! I love you. How much? How much? How much will you give me for her? No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Have some fabric softener. Yes, indeed. Ooh! I'm gonna get a few of them. What, honey? What? What are you looking at, huh? What are you looking at? Come on. Come on. Come on. And I started flipping out. I was moving my foot and hitting my toes with my... Oh, that's disgusting. Let's not talk about it. Ugh. You think your mom will let us stay up all night? Yeah. And we could also... Um, tonight's not gonna be good. I just remembered I have to see my grandma. What? Oh, but... I'll come by your house if I can, maybe. It's okay. See you tomorrow, Gracie. Then there was the other mom. Mommy? How was school, baby? Hm? - Want a foot rub? - Oh, no, honey. What are you doing? Why did you do that? You want the neighbors to see me? - Is that what you want? - No. They're gonna take me away if they see me. I'm sorry, Mommy. Oh, I'm so... What kind of tea do you want? Mint? You like mint. I would try anything to reach her. Ow! Ow, ow, ow! Mommy, I burnt myself! Ow. Go find your... Go find Dad. Daddy. Daddy... Daddy will help. They finally gave my two moms one name. But by then, Dad was already done. Andi was the one left there to keep her secret, to keep her safe. And I did. A pocketful of posies And sometimes it was great. We all fall down - You should get one too. - Oh, thank you, sweetheart. Oh, you're the best baby girl that ever lived. Hi, honey. Hi, sweetums. Oh, God. Hi, hi, hi. - Mom, what's up? - Oh, nothing. - We are... - Surprise! Oh, my God. - Two words: Ryan Gosling. - Ryan Gosling. What do you think? Your mom had lunch with Ryan Gosling. I think he's a little strange-looking. - Come on, get in the car. - I don't think this is a good idea. - It's totally fine. Come on, get in the car. - It's Ryan Gosling. Come on. - This is gonna be amazing. - I assure you, it's just fine and dandy. - He invited us, sweetheart. - Can we stop by my house? I don't really wanna be wearing this. - You look fine. - You look like schoolgirls. - Hey, let's go shopping. - Oh, my gosh. This is amazing. Okay, Grace, you have the coolest mom in history. - Ryan Gosling. - Oh, my gosh. Aah! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Wait, wait, what did he say? "Absolutely. We'll be here working all night long." I said, "Really? It's okay if we come by?" He said, "Yeah, we're just rehearsing now." - Ohh. - Uh, um... - What are these? - She doesn't know what they are. Ha-ha-ha. They're goldfish. I know what a goldfish is, but why do you have goldfish in your car? What we're gonna do is we're gonna take them out to the ocean. You can't set them free in the ocean. They'll die. They're freshwater fish. Okay. I hear you, sweetheart. You are so smart. We'll come up with plan B. We'll come up with a really good idea. It won't be sort of kind of good. It'll be a perfect idea. You'll love it. All right, so we're gonna look at lipstick, we're gonna look at jewelry. - Shoes, bags. - We're gonna... Oh, shoes. - You guys wanna look at shoes? - Let's look at shoes, please. - Yes, heels. - Oh, my God, wait a second. Wait. - Do you wanna go in here? - Can't let them overheat, right? Oh, my gosh. Are the goldfish coming with us? Hey, Grace, come on. ♪ Slow down and breathe ♪ ♪ If you can concede ♪ ♪ I know what you're thinking ♪ ♪ I hear that you really like Those bad girls ♪ ♪ Don't waste your time on sad girls Don't waste your time ♪♪ Grace. What...? Why aren't you trying anything on? Did you take your meds? What do you mean, did I take my meds? Of course. For God's sake, Mom. Ha-ha-ha. It's just, you don't spend money like this when you're on them. - What are you saying, hm? - Nothing. It's nothing. Just having a good time with your friends. Isn't that all right? Just because I'm sick from time to time, I can't have a good time? - That's not what I'm saying. - We're having a good time. See? That jacket is gorgeous. You see that jacket? It's beautiful, right? Oh, my... Oh, with the shoes. Oh, my God, it's perfect. Come on, baby. Just try something on. Try these on. Wanna try these on? They're really cute. We'll get three of these. We'll get one for you and one for Grace. Let's get three of them. - Thanks, Robin. You're awesome. - Plan B. There it is. Right there in front of us. I knew it. I knew it. - Just trust and it will come. - Oh, my gosh. This is insane. - The fountain is plan B? - You're putting them in the fountain? - Really? - Freshwater. - Oh, my gosh. - It's like a giant aquarium, I guess. - Make a wish upon each fish. - Okay, guys. Out you go. Out you go. - Ma'am, I don't think you can do that. - We should probably go. Stick with your buddy. - Don't get left behind. - Ma'am. - Mom. - Freedom! I got a lady and three minors putting some fish in the fountain. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Run, run, run. Hoo-hoo! Hey, Grace, come on. Get in the car. Come on. I wanna go home. - No. - Why? I have homework. Can you call your mom to pick us up? "Us"? Izzy, you're not messing this up for me. Please don't. Please come with us. I wanna meet Ryan. I'm going with your mom. Yeah. Baby, Ryan. - Please, no. No, no, no. - You come with me. And you can get a cab, right? You got taxi money in your pocket. No, no, no. Fine, fine. I'm coming, I'm coming. No, no, no. Fine, fine. I'm coming, I'm coming. I knew you would. See? Freshwater. They're gonna be fine. - Ryan Gosling. - Ryan Gosling, here we come. - You are... - That was so much fun, you guys. - I know. And your leopard pants. - Too much fun. Too much fun. - And my shorts. Totally. - They're so nice. - Mom, can we just please go home? - You are no fun. This is why you're the designated driver. You're the responsible one. That's funny, honey. That's really funny. - Unlike us. You are so not responsible. - I'm responsible sometimes. Where are you girls gonna go to school? Where are you gonna apply to college, huh? - CalArts. Yeah. - Ohh. - Great. - UCSB. - Yeah. - You see? Both of them, local. Oh, my God. This one, she wants to apply someplace like the University of Lithuania. Ha-ha-ha! I don't even know where I want to apply yet. - Lithuania. - I mean, it's like the East Coast, right? Well, yeah. The East Coast, it's not that far away. Not Lithuania. The East Coast. It's not that far. They're gonna love you in Lithuania. Hey. Hey, you guys. We're going to see Ryan Gosling. You wanna come? Huh? What are you laughing at? Are you too cool for that? What, are you too old to go see Ryan Gosling? - Is that what it is? - Oh, we're too old, huh? I'll show you who's too old, baby. - You wanna see who's too old? - He's hot. Mom. Mom, please stop it. Whoo! - You need to slow down. - Slow down. Whoo! - Slow down. It's fine. - Mom. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Robin. Robin. - Robin, watch... Robin, watch out. - Losers! Just slow down. They're behind us. You can slow down. Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Robin, slow down. - Robin. Robin. Now I know why dogs do this. - Robin, you're freaking me out. - Mom. Mom! Mom, stop! Stop it now! Oh, my God. Oh, it is so beautiful. I'm calling my mom. - Oh, my God. I'm gonna throw up. - Look, trees. - Baby, let's go climb the trees. - Stop it. What are you doing? Mom. Mom, Mom. Mom, please come pick us up. We're at the park by the mall. No, just me and Izzy. Look, Grace's mom, she's, like, crazy. She nearly killed us. We were in a car and she started racing. - I don't know what's going on. - I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. - What is wrong with your mom? - She's bipolar. She's bip... She's an official lunatic. And you let us get in a car with her? I tried to talk you out of it, but you would never listen to me. If you would've told us she was crazy. No, near the mall. No, I'm fine. No, Mom, I just need you to come pick me up. Mom, no, please, just come pick us up. Izzy, I'm so sorry to have to put you through this. Grace, it's me. I always knew. I always knew there was something different about your mom. Go. Go. I'll deal with Olivia, okay? - Mom? - I'm up here, honey. How could you do this? You lied to me again. You stopped taking your medication again. - Oh, I have my medicine. - I hate you. I'm done. I'm so over it. I have my medicine. It's right here. It's right here. Oh, here it is. Here it is. I feel like I'm going crazy. - What are you doing? - You want it? There's the medicine. That's why I wanna go as far away as I can. I can't save you. I can't watch you go do this over and over and over again. - Oh, no. No, no... - It's just... I can't. Every time I think you're going to get better, you don't. - It's too much. - No, wait. Mommy's coming. Mommy's coming. Oh, no, look, they're all over the... I'm gonna get them. I'm gonna get all the pills. I'm gonna pick them all up. Every single one. I'm getting them all picked up, and then... And then... And then... Here, you hold them for me. You hold them for me, honey. That's good. Okay. I'm gonna get them, and I'm gonna take all my pills. I'm gonna take them, because I know I'm not a very good mommy. I wasn't a very, very good mommy at all. And now I'm gonna be so, so good. And I'm gonna take them all. I just... Okay. Therapist to Room 5. Therapist to Room 5. Okay. Best girl ever. Mommy's best girl. Hm? Maybe I sh... I should have just... watched you. Your meds, it's just... My med... My meds? My meds? You watch my meds? Why would you watch my...? They're my... They're my meds, honey. They're my meds, huh? They're Mommy's meds, not baby's meds, okay? - Yeah. - It's my job. My responsibility. Look at me, baby girl. You don't do nothing wrong. - Robin Joffe? - Just a minute. Just a minute, all right? - Just a minute. You call Grandma, okay? - Yeah. You hear me? You call Grandma. She's gonna take care of you. - Please, Robin. - I am coming. I am coming. Sweetie. Sweetie. - You call Grandma, okay? - Yeah. Mm-hm. - You need to call Grandma. - Robin. She'll look after you, and, oh, really, really, really soon, really soon. - Say goodbye. - I'm coming. I'm coming. - Come on. - I'm coming. What's the big deal? Here I come. I'm coming. Just go talk to her. You okay? No. - I'm sorry. - Don't apologize. No, honey. Honey, at home there are five goldfish swimming in the toilet. Okay, I'm coming. I'm... Here I am. I'm coming. I'm coming. What do you want from me? What do you want from me? I'm here. And the reason I chose my mother as the hero of this college essay? She faces her battles every day even though she may never win the war. She's helped me see... that I didn't cause her disease. I can't control it. And I can't cure it. This is my mom. And that is her story. And now... I'm ready to leave home... and claim my own. ♪ Look at that girl She's lighting up the world ♪ ♪ She'll be a hallowed ground To earn their love ♪ ♪ People wait in line To see the way she shines ♪ ♪ If she wasn't perfect Would it be enough? ♪ ♪ Now the sky's on fire ♪ Allison. Allison. - Sorry. What? - We have to get your mom something. She doesn't care about stuff like that. She's just dying to meet you. They both are. In the Midwest, you don't go to a person's house, let alone your girlfriend's parents', without bringing something. Trust me, they're both gonna love you. Hey. Hey. Stop, stop. Oh, okay. If you bring me home in one piece, it'll probably go better. ♪ Just watch her play the part ♪ By the way, we're totally doing it in my old bedroom. You sure your parents are okay with us sleeping together? I don't care. We're gonna do it right under Hello Kitty. I want Hello Kitty to see. Okay. ♪ I've lived my whole life Walking on the wire ♪ ♪ My heart's on fire ♪ ♪ Suddenly I'm breaking free ♪♪ - Mom, Dad, we're here! - There's my baby. Hi, sweetie. - Ha-ha-ha. - Wow, look at you. I see you've retired the bulky-sweater look. Mom. Uh... - This is Luke. - Luke. Nice to finally meet you. - So nice to meet you, ma'am. - Ma'am? - Missus? - Claire. I'm surprised you've come to our home for the first time and you didn't bring anything. - She's messing with you. - Ha-ha-ha. I kept texting her telling her you insisted we bring something. - Where is Daddy? - He'll be here, a few minutes. Which reminds me, I should finish dinner, huh? Luke, would you take our bags up to my room? It's the first one on the left, the one with the Hello Kitty poster. Allison. We sleep together. I'm not gonna be a hypocrite. No, no, of course not. I didn't raise you that way. It's sweet that you care what I think. Come on. So, what do you think? - I think he's really nice. - I know, right? And cute too? He's adorable. Oh, honey, hand me the meat thermometer, would you? I have not made a roast chicken in I can't remember how long. This thing does not look done. - This is not... - Is she here? Oh, at 150 at least, don't you think? Mom. When? Heh. Tonight. Are you freaking kidding me? Tonight? - That's where Daddy is. - Allie, she is so much better. She's finally on the right combination of meds. She is seeing a shrink that we adore. So then why didn't you tell me that she was coming home? - Because I knew you wouldn't come. - Yeah, but you knew I was bringing Luke. - I'm telling you, Allie, she's healthy. - Really? When healthy people come home, you don't usually remove the doors. - Okay, she's better. - Until she's not. - If you'd gone to see her, you'd know. - What am I supposed to tell Luke? - He doesn't... - You don't have to tell Luke anything. We'll just have a nice, stress-free dinner. This is a huge transition for her, coming home. Please, just don't stress her out. I just wanted him to see we could be a normal family for five minutes. Well, that's about how much time you've got. Hey. Hey, so are all the doors in the door shop? Because they're all off their hinges. That's not the only thing that's off its hinges. Oh, I think I hear Daddy. Okay, okay, there's no way I'm staying in your room. There are no doors, except the bathroom, but that doesn't have a knob. You can't lock it, and there's a hole, so anyone can see inside. How am I supposed to go to the bathroom? Trust me, that is the least of our problems. It's kind of a big problem for me. Hey, Allie, my girl. Oh, how are you, sweetie? Daddy, this is Luke. - Hi, Luke. - So nice to meet you, sir. - I've heard a lot about you. - You too. And this is my sister. I'm Lucy. Hi. Is anybody hungry? Is anybody hungry? Luke, something wrong with your dinner? No, no, no. No, everything's great. I will guard the bathroom. Just eat. So the doors are off because...? Long story short, a few years ago, I locked Allie in her room and tried to strangle her with a nightgown. I totally get it. Uh, my brothers and I used to fight all the time. - It's not like your brothers. - You don't know my brothers. Ha, ha. So your sister tried to kill you, why? The smoke detectors told me to. Why they didn't just tell you to bake muffins is anybody's guess. Did the smoke detectors talk to you? Yeah, mostly, back then. Ahem. Luke, did Allie even tell you that she had a sister? Yeah, yeah, but just that you were in law school. That's it? That's all she said? Seriously? You know what? Actually, Allie did tell me one other thing about you. What? Remember that night when you were freaking out about your history exam? She told me that she wished that you were there because when she was a kid and was nervous about something, you'd always climb into bed with her until she fell asleep. Yeah, that was before she became the second coming of the Boston Strangler. - Allie. - So you obviously don't know that I am batshit crazy. - Well, he does now. - You're not batshit crazy. You were batshit crazy. Allie, why didn't you tell him? Compliments, everybody. Compliments. You turn to the person across the table from you and give them a compliment. Hugh, you start. Oh, okay. Luke, that's a heck of a shirt you got on there. Thank you. Uh... Um, I'm still a little stuck on this whole trying-to-kill-you thing. Yeah, me too. I have schizophrenia. So, um, is that like the one with different personalities and...? No, that's multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia is a psychotic disorder. It doesn't normally make people violent, but it can impair their thinking, emotions, behavior. I don't really know what that means either. Basically, I have hallucinations and sometimes I hear voices that tell me to do things. And we've learned over the years to separate the real Lucy from who Lucy is when she's ill. - Yeah, because that's so easy. - No, I totally get it. You what? Well, I understand what your mom's saying. I mean, people can't be blamed for something if they're sick, right? Hm? - Thank you. - So now you're on her side too. No, no, no, I'm not on anyone's side. - Uh, uh... - Except for your side. I'm on your side. Don't let the sniping fool you. There's affection there. I'm sorry. Are you new here? Because my loving sister, well, she tried to kill me. That was just the illness, right? She didn't want you dead. Dead enough. How dead do you have to be around here till someone takes your freaking side? Let me guess. This wasn't a typical dinner at your house. Heh. You can't even slam a freaking door in this house! Look, I was just trying to understand your sister. Everyone is always trying to understand my sister. Trust me, no one has come up with anything yet. I thought you were gonna be the person who'd try to understand me. - Everybody can hear those voices, right? - Yes, honey. - Just checking. - No doors, people. You have no idea what it is like growing up in this house. - I'm not saying I do. - Know why that poster is still on the wall? Because my life stopped when I was 12 years old and it did not start back up again until a year ago. Since the first time Lucy got sick, everything has been about her. Doors! You wanna know what's funny? It was about her before then too. She was the smart one. She was the pretty one. She was the star of the family. Apparently, that was not enough for her, because then she got sick. And she dominated every moment of our lives. - Everything else was just put on hold. - Okay, I can't listen anymore. - I'm going upstairs. - No, Mom. No, I wanna hear this. - I wanna hear the unvarnished truth. - I like my truth with a little varnish. Know what it's like to postpone your birthday because your sister sees giant rats running across the floor? Or to have your parents so distracted all the time that they can barely get through the day, let alone find the energy to come to your stupid soccer game? If Lucy had a bad day my mom wouldn't get out of bed for the next two days or weeks, depending on how bad it was. I'm really sorry you had to go through all that. - I wish you had told me. - On our first date? Or second? How about the first time we did it from behind? - When she says that... Just... - She didn't mean anal. Should I have told you that day in People's Park... when we saw that woman arguing with a trash can, and you said: "I want you to meet my mom"? And we laughed, and it was funny, except that could have been my sister. Yeah, you feel like crap? Yeah, well, welcome to my world. Heh. Wanna know what real guilt feels like? When my sister finally went to the hospital, I dreaded her coming home. It was a relief when she was gone, and we... We were happy. We felt like a family again for the first time. - Lucy, that's not true. - It's okay. - Honey. Honey. - It's okay. Well... at least the chicken was good. I'm sorry you had to hear that. If you were really sorry, you wouldn't have said that in a room that didn't have doors. Look, I didn't mean to be cruel. Yes, you did, Allie. You've wanted to tell me that for a really long time. Do you realize that you're furious at me for being sick? I mean, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It's a very common theme in group. See? Anything I feel is invalid because you are the sick one. Nobody ever seems to remember that when my sister who I idolized, by the way, was supposed to just be laying with me in bed, was instead using my nightgown to strangle me. - You have to stop taking that personally. - Oh, my God. That is absurd. All I could think was: "This isn't happening. My sister loves me. And what the hell is Hello Kitty smiling at?" - Is that why you never came to see me? - No. - That place freaked me out. - Of course it freaks you out. - It freaks everybody out. It's a loony bin. - Well, it scares me to see you like that. Allie, I need a sister that's gonna be there. I need to know you're not just an illusion in my head. I need to know your voice is really happening. - I'm afraid. - You need to stop being afraid of me. Lucy, I'm not afraid of you. I'm afraid of becoming you. Bread pudding, everyone. There was that warm Columbus Day weekend when Dad was barbecuing his special wings, when that woman called. She said there was something very wrong with you and that they'd taken you from your dorm in restraints. I'd seen you the week before. We'd taken you out in Westwood for your birthday. You were 19, the same age I am now. You know how you told Luke that I was always the prettier one and the smarter one and the star of the family? Well, you forgot that I have better boobs too. Um, you do not have better boobs. Uh, mmm... All right, fine, the boobs are a toss-up. Um... But you're right about the other stuff. I am prettier than you. And I am smarter than you. And humbler, apparently. But guess what, Allie. What? I'll always be crazier than you too. ♪ Look at that girl She's lighting up the world ♪ ♪ She'll be a hallowed ground To earn their love ♪ ♪ People wait in line To see the way she shines ♪ ♪ If she wasn't perfect Would it be enough? ♪ ♪ Now the sky's on fire ♪ ♪ I've lived my whole life Walking on a wire ♪ ♪ My heart's on fire ♪♪ I've been married for 10 years, 10 years, and consecutively, with the same woman. Wow. I know. it's... You know, it's... Let me tell you. And so now, now sex is like bowling. It's just like bowling. Because afterwards, you're like, "That was fun. That was great. - We should do that more often." Ha-ha-ha. My wife is amazing, and I love this woman to death. But like most women, she loves to talk about her feelings. - Know what I'm talking about? - Oh, yes. - Do you like to talk about your feelings? - Absolutely. Of course. It's like asking a klepto if they want a handbag. Yes, you'd love it. So any time you're talking about feelings, all he's thinking about is bowling. We love you, Eddie. - Eddie! - Awesome. - Eddie! - Awesome. Have this. You want more? More? Good boy. Okay. - Hi, bobo. - Hey, babe. Hey, buddy, buddy. - You're late. Did you do two sets? - No. Um... I, um... - Mmm. - Heh. I, um... I just ended up staying and talking to some of the guys. You must be starving. You want the rest of my sandwich, babe? Let's get up early and go to the farmers market. We'll get some kettle corn. Twister can go with us. - Yeah. Whatever. - Good. Because this sleeping in all day till you go to work at night is not gonna fly on my day off. - Okay? - Look, can I just sleep right now? Honey? What? You okay? I'm... Yeah. I'm tired. Okay. Handcuffs might seem like overkill, but they're going on. They're going on, okay? You have the right to remain... - This is a stupid law. - Ha-ha-ha. Hey, Twister. Eddie? Daddy didn't let you out, huh? Good boy. I am sure... Ed. Jeez, it's almost 2:00. Are you kidding me? You didn't feed Twister. You didn't let him out. Peed all over the floor. - What time is it? - It's almost 2. I don't care if you don't wanna eat, but the dog's gotta eat. - Wow. Okay. - All right, get up. Take a shower. They're gonna be here soon. You need to clean the grill. Why can't we just stay in, just the two of us, and just not do that? You mean like when I'm up and I am doing things, and you're asleep? Let's save that for another afternoon. Get up. The joke's on you. I'm not a ventriloquist dummy. - That's all right. - It's all right. It's all right. - You could use that in your act. - I could. You want cheese? - Cheeseburger. Cheeseburger. - It's funny. Can I do it? Do you mind if I...? I just don't need everybody touching my cheese. Just... No. This will be mine. - I'll have cheese. No cheese for this guy. - I can't have dairy. I'm taking this cooking class where we're learning how to make a curry carrot corn queso. It's like a dip. It's for Christmas and couples, or you can put it on salad. - Was it sponsored by the letter C? - Ha-ha-ha. - I am so glad that you guys are here. - Well, thank you for inviting us. We miss you. Yeah, well, Eddie's been out on the road, you know. - Eddie's been on the road? - Yeah. So the midget says, "Hey, that's why I became a taxidermist." Ha-ha-ha. - Hey. - You can't say that anymore. Whatever. "Munchkin." It's a good joke. It's a good joke. It's a good joke. - What? What? - I keep missing things. - I'm actually working on that... - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Hey. - I got it. Under control. Under control. Where is he going? Hey, you guys know the one about the Wisconsin farmer - and the burnt barn? - I'm sure you're gonna tell us. - What's going on? - Nothing. We've been through this before. It's gonna be fine. - Is everybody gone? - Yeah, they're gone. - I'm really sorry. - You gotta talk to me. - What does Dr. Beckett say? - He says I'm hilarious. Thursdays at 4, highlight of his week. He should be paying me. - Okay, I... - I... Just please. Please, just... I didn't know that he had stopped coming to see you. I'm really scared, and I'm really confused because Eddie has so much going for him. - He's so loved. - Julia, depression is not circumstantial. It's got nothing to do with what you did or you didn't do. Eddie is not choosing to feel this way. I know. I know. And she could reach around a wall and smack you in the head before you... And the arm would... All you'd hear is this: Ernest Hemingway blew his head off with a shotgun. Click, bang. Thank you. Can we get the check? His wife, Mary, said he was simply cleaning the gun. And I think that's some housekeeping gone awry. Hey, how are you? - Haven't seen you here in a while. - Yeah. Had he hung himself, would it have been that he was just cleaning the rope? - How's he doing? - Fine. He's always doing fine. You won the Pulitzer Prize in fiction, the Nobel Prize for literature. That's a lot of pressure on a little suicide note that you know everybody's gonna read. It's just so dark. Doesn't even sound like him. But dark is good. Dark's like the new black. Look at Louis CK. Got his own show. He's dark. If I was gonna kill myself, I know exactly what I'd do. I would, uh... I'd kill myself with kindness. Take a handful of pills, hop in bed. Maybe some Enya. In some countries... Get this. In some countries, it's illegal to commit suicide. It's against the law for you to kill yourself. Okay? Are you with me here? Sir, I want you to focus, okay? I realize you're dead. Step out of the vehicle and put your hands behind your back. If you wanna play tough guy, we've got all night, all right? Handcuffs seem like overkill, but I have to arrest you. You have the right to remain... Bad law. - Hello? - Hey, Chelsea. It's me, Julia. - I've been trying to call Eddie. - Oh. Um... He was here a couple of minutes ago, but I know he's going on soon. - I was just wondering, is he okay? - Yeah, he seemed fine. - Tell him to call me after. - Okay. All right. Y'all having fun? Good. Good. I'm glad. Well, our next performer is Eddie Tennenbaum, and, uh... - Whoo! - Yeah. Yes, we all love him. No, he's not... Okay... He's not here, though. I'm sorry. He's not here. - But he is... - Come on, Eddie. I don't know where he is. We can't find him. Which is fine. I'm sure he'll be here any second. In the meantime, I can tap-dance or something. In the meantime, I can tap-dance or something. Eddie? Are we back there, Eddie? Anywhere? Come on, sweetie. Let's go outside. Come on. Come. Mama! - Mama! - Baby. Oh... - God, you're big. - Ha-ha-ha. I missed you so much. - Welcome home, soldier. Ha-ha-ha. - Hi, Daddy. Come on. God. You know Mama love you, right? Well, promise me you'll never go away again. Mama's not going anywhere. I'm gonna stay right here with you. Hey, is that a big-boy tooth I see in there? I twisted it 134 times, and then it came out during all-school assembly. Oh. Hm. - What did the tooth fairy bring you? - A bow and arrow, a new pair of Converse, $1.50 and a Monster Flashlight. - All under your pillow? - Well, I got the best tooth fairy in town. Sounds like it. Pour your own. How did you get all that stuff under his pillow? Well, I picked up a few tricks from the other moms. And then you tripled them. Well, yeah, I guess I was overdoing it a bit. I wanna do something fun. I'm gonna take Quinn out of school tomorrow. Douglas Park. We ain't been there in years. Uh... Yeah, about tomorrow... Um... My man died. Leonard died. - This past Monday we lost him. - What are you talking about? You were in transit. I had no way of contacting you. - When I left, he was in the hospital. - I know. Leonard died? His funeral is tomorrow. I thought he was gonna make it. Come on. Yeah, I don't feel right. I can't. You're getting out of this car, and you're gonna pay your respects to his family. - I can't. I'm gonna stay here. - He was your commanding officer. He was our country's hero. He was like a son to me. You owe it to all of us. You got five minutes to get your act together and get out of this car. You hear me, sergeant? Left, right, face. Forward. Your brother was a good man. Yes, he was. She won't get out of the car. Oh... Hey. Welcome home, Maggie. You know, I think it'll make you feel better to be with everyone. We all miss him. That led was not your fault. And it's also not your fault that you survived and he didn't. Get out of the car. - Get out of the car. Get out of the car. - No. No. No. When we got back from Nam, we had a hard time too, but we got over it. Out. - Take her home, Percy. - Come on, baby. It's okay, baby. It's all right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Why don't you, uh...? Why don't you lose that shirt? Come on. - Unh. - Drop that belt. Take your clothes off. Come on. Come on. There's no one up here. Take your shirt off. Come on. Come on, take it off. What are you scared of? You scared of me? - Just let me go. - It's me. Leonard. - Don't touch me. - Let's have some fun. Wanna have some fun? Wanna be safe out there? - I won't say nothing. - Strip down for your commanding officer! I don't like this. Get away! Wake up. You're having a bad dream. You're having a bad dream. Wake up. - Get away. Get away from me! - What are you doing? - Maggie, stop. - Get off of me! I hate you! - Help me! Help me. - Shut up. Shut up. Get off me. Get off of me. Get off. Get away from me, Leonard. Don't touch... Get away from me! Stay away! Quinn, go to your room and lock your door. Go on, son. - I hate you, Leonard! - Maggie. Don't touch me! I hate you! - 911. What's your emergency? - My name is Quinn. - Something bad is happening. - Maggie, it's your dad. I'm not hearing this. This cannot be happening again. This voice I keep hearing... No. This is not happening again. Please... This doesn't make sense to me. Please... Mom. You're such a nut. What do you think I have on? No, I have a skirt and a shirt on. It's not too short. Ahem. Okay, you're not helping, really, with my nerves here, so I gotta go. Goddamn it. Hi, I'm Lucy Miller. Um... You must be Maggie. I'll be representing you. I brought warm, comforting beverages. Or what's left of them. The rest is on my new white shirt that I wore to impress you. Uh, can we sit? Great. Oh. Sorry about your chips. Um... Look, uh, yours is not a hopeless case. Seems pretty hopeless to me. Hm. I can see that. I'm not saying it's going to be easy. They do have your son's voice on the 911 call. I don't even know what happened to me. I didn't mean to scare him. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. You know, um, I'm scared too. You're scared? This is my first day in the field. That's comforting. I volunteered. I specifically wanted your case. A charity case. Because I think I can help you. You know, that's not gonna get your son back. Quinn? Is that his name? It's not gonna get him back. And if you keep that up, you're gonna have two problems instead of one. You know what he told me? He told me, "I want my mama back." I want... I want my son back. Well, um, Child Services won't let you live with Quinn again until you get treatment. And to get treatment, I need to prove PTSD. - Post-traumatic stress... - This is not combat-related. Hell, I got both my arms. I didn't get my legs blown off. I'm not in no damn wheelchair. I know. PTSD from military sexual trauma is just as real. Yeah, I know. And it makes the military look bad. What makes the military look bad is your senior officer raping you over and over again. I don't want people looking at me like I'm crazy. - Do you understand that? - Yeah. I think I have some insight into that. So you think you've seen what I've seen? No, but I've seen some pretty bad stuff. I have seen thousands of spiders running up my best friend's face. You wacked. Yeah. It's called schizophrenia. So they sent me somebody crazier than I am. Maybe. But I'm gonna be honest with you. I used to deny that I was sick. I would go off my meds, not work my program, try and white-knuckle it. And I thought I was gonna spend the best years of my life in a psych hospital. But I committed myself to recovery. And, no, I don't always like going to group. And I hate that I have to check in with my psychiatrist all the time. And I certainly don't like the side effects of the meds. But it works. And it is so worth it. I passed the bar, for God's sakes. I'm living proof. Of what? That there is hope. I forgot to tell you you were getting a visitor. Imperfectly? Of course. Stupidly? Sometimes. But we don't mind, because that's the way we're made. And when it's time to die we don't resist death, we summon it. This is not philosophy, anymore. How are you here? I found a cave. I went deep enough down to avoid the radiation that I now see, never came. After a few months, I lost track of time and then I heard you. I have one bullet left which I will use to kill you, if you need me to to stop you from commiting an act so unreasonable it might end the human race. So, can I just say? A tip of the top hat to our boy Chips. You chose your love life over your actual life in that bunker. I saw it on your face when you made up your mind to go for the girl. Petra, I have the keys to the boat. Let's go, Let's go! That did not fail to impress you know what, that's not exactly what happened. We're listening. Ok so I ran a little thought experiment inside our thought experiment. I didn't think anyone would mind if I fiddle with things, just a bit and your thought experiment has hit what premise? Whats the point of living if you can't have sex? Really! ? Yeah, I was just a sterile kid in a bunker everybody else was starting to pair up to save the human race sex for procreation only, so I would've been the odd man out or I could be one man with... six women all to myself. So I found another uninhabited island outside the detonation zone... Hold it, I was on that boat too, what happened to me? Drowned. And me? Barracuda attack? What about me? Ah Andy, the day that we arrive at the new island, you had a run in with the palm tree. You turned to bone by the end of the week because of your hideous disease. So it was just myself and the ladies. Me being a carpenter, I built a shelter we set up shop. Had a girl for each night of the week and on the seventh night, I rested. Um, excuse me you're sterile why would we have sex with you at all? Ah, because that's the flip side to my thought experiment what do you do if you're six girls? And you need to start repopulating the human race? You've only got one man to work with? And he's infertile? You try, try and try again. Any specialist can tell you that in someone my age infertility is more often than not, sub-fertility. Meaning, even if the odds are only 1 in 1,000 that I can get the job done, there's still a chance so yeah, I had defective semen. But in the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king. Well friends, I believe Chips has just settle the old question: Is philosophy to real life as masturbation is to sex? And the answer is? Sometimes you want to have a wank and a shag in the same day six girls? That's nicely done. Just putting to good use my large sex organ my brain. Thanks for that, Chips. Don't forget to leave me your textbooks. You trouble me, Eric, taking out your issues with me on James. Not your finest hour. He isn't smart enough for you. How can you still not see it? Being smart isn't everything, has it done for you just what you hoped? Punishing him makes no sense... Because he doesn't know about us. I'm not sure he needs to know. Especially after the way you behaved today. I love him, so leave him alone. I just couldn't put all the pieces together Who could? You. Nobody is trying to take anything away from you. I got mad at you about going to Cornell. I still don't understand how he got in. I wrote his essay for him. Did you? No. The winters are brutal in Ithaca. You'll be cold. I'll buy a sweater. You honestly believe that Jameses of this world can keep up with you? Only in a classroom of overachievers like this can anyone possibly accuse him of being inadequate Do you want me to skip college? And stay in Jakarta? Is that what you're asking me to do? There are some, outstanding universities in this city. Can you imagine, how good we'd be for each other? Yes. But you do know that can't happen. Of course I know. Do you know what "apocalypse" actually means? Tell me. It's from the greek. "Apokalypsis" meaning to uncover what you couldn't see before A way out of the dark. You're sweet talk still needs work. I'll get on that. You're a very good teacher, Eric. I always forget stuff when I walk out the door. If any of my ex-boyfriends had picked up on that perhaps things would have turned out differently... but probably not. Zach was my first serious boyfriend and I was madly in love. I thought he was the best. You're the best! You're the best! Apparently so did my best friend Stephanie. Baby! I know this looks bad. As well as Liz. You're home early. Evan was my rebound guy. But of course. I feel in love again because he seemed so perfect. But... he was perfect for Steven and Smiley Pete as well. No no no no... And Phil was my rebound of the rebound. Bad! You bad baby! Uh... That's when I decided to move to Los Angeles. What better city to replace perfect boyfriends, long term commitment... and heartache, with short term happiness and superficiality... At least it seemed like a good idea at the time. Well, fast forward a few years. I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Dale. That's me a few years later. Sucking face with my kinda sorta boyfriend JP. He's a fashion photographer. Remember that cover of Charlize in the green evening gown? JP took that. God I'm already name dropping... That's so lame. Baby, give me your foot. My foot? You ever had your toe suck before? No, J. P... I... Ok... Delicious... What, no good experience? Bye baby. I love this song uh. It reminds me of being in Rome. I wonder if toe sucking is big in Rome? Baby you want a beer? The six pack no? Baby, we have good energy. We have a good energy me and you no? Yes. Come here... Come dance with Papi. Me and JP have been together on and off for about six months. It's going pretty good but sometimes I get the feeling I'm not the only girl JP's seeing. Oh, JP... Ahhhh no no... Are you still there? Just stay here. Who is that JP? Ah, computer is broken Is crazy joke ha ha... No... Come out where ever you are. I only have eyes for you. Hey JP! Let's do that thing with the toes again. Call me if you want to rendezvous. Hey... - Bye. OK baby is no big deal is my massage therapist. OK? That's a reasonable explanation... right? JP... JP... No more mozzarella mama... Since I moved to LA I haven't really had a substantial boyfriend. I seem to gravitate towards casual relationships of convenience. Sometimes though I do wish for something more meaningful. In Los Angeles most people feel like they've never actually arrived. There's always this chase for something bigger and better. Consequently no one puts down roots. No one settles down. It's like living in this state of perpetual vagrancy. I want some roots... at least I think I do. Oh my God did you... did you hear? Maybe. 2012, there is this huge planet that is going to crash into earth and kill... everyone! Oh you mean like the movie? No, I don't mean like the movie. This is real Dale! The movie is based on the facts. The planet... is called Nadie! I don't know how he got his name and why it isn't six or eight, but Seven is my colleague... roommate... and closest confidant. And I don't think I'm outing him by saying Seven won't be taking any girls home. It's all over the internet I'm obsessed with it. I can't stop reading. It's kind of scary don't you think? I mean the end of the world Dale. I don't know if I can sleep tonight? Bowie... you wanna snuggle with me? Huh? Come here. I'm taking your dog. Hey... And you just left? Yup. So it's over? I don't know. She says that every time and then she goes back to him. Well maybe I'm just being paranoid? It was time for the bi-monthly... breakup post modern. Who said what... did I handle it well etc. Can I ask you something JP? What baby? Come back to bed. How many girls are you sleeping with? Baby why you so drama? So what? So drama. I mean why would he hang out with me for six months, and text and call... everyday? Last night I was trying to make this really good point. We just had sex JP. It's good. I just had your penis inside of me. But that sounded... a lot better in my head. Ouch... - Sorry. Last week bird crap this week balls in her face. Ah it's typical. Is it true he has a monster schlong? I don't know where she gets her information. But that's absolutely true. Ok I don't understand the deal about big dicks I mean they just hurt. I mean not that I've ever really experienced one. Becca and Hallie are my two best girlfriends. They're always game to listen to my problems and dispense useful commentary. Toe suckers freak me out. I heard that he photographed Charlize is that true? I mean I love her she's like one of my favorite. Top five for sure. Maybe I'm just being jealous? Ok how do you spell his last name? Becca what are... tell me you're not looking him up on the internet? I personally think your dog is your biggest issue in your dating life. What? Question, where does Bowie sleep? He sleeps in my bed. Ok but if a guy... sleeps over where does Bowie go? Um, I guess he just stays in my bed. Wait what about fleas? More importantly what about sniffing? Don't dogs sniff? Bowie stop it. Bowie... Ok, Ok you have a point. Dating in general... is difficult enough Dale. Uh oh... What? Oh no... Becca what? Ok you know that German supermodel? Natasha Franks. Yeah JP shoots her all the time. What about her? Ok I just read this it was on CMZ. So "Natasha Franks, German supermodel. Recently has confirmed reports that she is Three months pregnant. Sources confirm that celebrity... fashion photographer JP Gio. Whatever his name is... is the father. JP is well known as a Los Angeles savant and has been linked to several Hollywood socialites. Stay tuned... as the story develops." I'm done. I'm sorry. I'm done dating men in this city. So tired of being the nice girl that always get burnt. Wait, wait... I mean this guy's a jerk. No I... Hey, Dale. Hey. Hi. Zach. You look, you look fantastic. Oh, thanks I... I cut my bangs. It suits you very much. I knew ZACH before he was a rock star. He was the lead singer of this cool garage band. Now he's got four Grammys, and he's a shoe in for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. But to me... he'll all ways be good old Zach. Wow, long time no see. Ah, this is my friend Hallie. And Becca... I think you've met Becca before. Yes, I've met Becca before. It's good to see you. Hi nice to meet you. You too. Wow... How are you? I'm sorry I was actually just about to take off. Aw well that's too bad, well listen my tour got pushed back a month or so... so I'm going to be around. Oh, and hey listen tomorrow night my band and I are doing a little set at the Hotel Cafe if you guys... want to come by that would be great. Yeah, sure. I love your music. Thank you. Ok maybe, maybe we will. Well, just email me the address and... Yeah. Oh... Ah, I think the Pap's have found you and um... your girlfriend's kind of looking a little lonely. No pictures. Oh, that's actually not my girlfriend it's just a girl who's my friend. Oh right, um hum. Hey, Cece this is my friend Dale. Hi. - Hey, nice to meet you. I'm just going to get my stuff. Ok, we will... Don't forget to email me. Don't forget to come. So you guys all went to Catholic boarding school together? OK I can't imagine that. We've known each other since we were fifteen. And I'm actually the oldest. It's pretty safe to say that Jill's obsession with aging and getting married in due time started back in Catholic school and specifically our first communion. We got to walk down the isle like mini brides to be. Comparing prettiest dresses... and fanciest bows. This is where Jill got programmed to plan for the next time... she would walk down the aisle... dressed in white. You are getting married A little toy here or there never hurt anyone. Plus it comes with a carrying case. Oh! That is such an inappropriate gift. What you're saying you don't masturbate? No personally I don't masturbate. I find it to be a little bit... un-holy. Wouldn't you agree? Jillian thank you I love this! Dale have you talked to JP? No. I mean he called twice but... Hey, I heard you saw Zach. Oh yeah. I saw his video on TV the other day he looks so good. Did you guys make plans to hang out? No we just caught up for a second. He was with a girlfriend. Hmmm... Ok what is up? What? You look like either have to pee or you're about to explode with gossip. Do I? - Which is it? Ok I already told Becca but since you asked... girls... Jill you can just tell me later. Stacy I'm so sorry... I don't mean to spoil your special little moment. But I have a huge announcement to make... I'm getting married! Isn't it gorgeous? Do you love it? It was the most amazing night you guys. I don't want to just be your girlfriend anymore! It's not that I don't... love you... It's not fair, I can' take this limbo! I know... You either marry me or you leave me! It was the most romantic night of my life. What can I say, he's the best. You've got to be kidding me! Drew, I'm sorry but he was hitting on me less than two months ago. Ok... he wasn't hitting on you, Hallie. He was flirting with you. Guys are allowed to flirt, it's a human condition. It's natural. You think everyone is flirting with you. I don't know I just think it's weird if a guy is ultra flirtatious... and in a committed relationship. And not to mention that he's in the business. Men in the entertainment industry are instinctively douche bags. No? No I like Drew. I don't think he's a douche bag. Well... Who came up with the term douche bag anyway? It's kind of disgusting. Jill wants to get married just to get married because she thinks it's time. Hallie you couldn't even possibly relate to Jill. And why is that? Because you're rich. I mean... seriously. Everything is handed to you and you can buy whatever you want so just buy a boyfriend. What? Are you acting right now because this is hilarious. I just want a rich boyfriend to take care of me. Did she really just say that? Did Jill tell you guys... That she didn't get picked up for another season of "Babes and Barflies"? Her agent told her it's because she's too old and too fat. That's not funny. Seriously! I was at a call back like two days ago and the producer told my agent that my butt looked big in a bikini. There are specific trigger words that cause me to temporarily tune out of a conversation. And Becca just... just triggered three of them. Producer... Call back... Agent... It makes me space out for like 30 seconds. And its OK as long as I return back in time to assure Becca her but is perfect. That is crazy Becca... you're perfect. Don't listen to that. Exactly. Douche bags. As bad as they sound it's not like my friends... or the people of Los Angeles are any more narcissistic than the rest of the world. It's just that... no one cares to hide it at all. Do you know how many married men hit on me in a week? No tell us. I don't really know the exact number but it's figgin high. At least this is what I tell myself. Come on guys let's go. All I know for certain is that dating in this city sucks and I'm dying. Thank you. I'm serious, I'm done. You guys don't hate me but I might pass on going out tonight. What? No, no you are going. You just got out of a crappy relationship and you are single. Plus you our designated driver. Thanks a lot for the guilt. Going out in LA isn't quite like it is in any other city. Because of the whole who's who factor... that this place evolves around. So unless you're an A List B List or C List celebrity... work in the A List... arena or you're a friend of the club Jonathan slash door Nazi then... yeah it's pretty much impossible to get in. Bottom line there are three major questions in Hollywood. Who are you? What do you do? And who are your friends? If you are not on the list leave. Oh, honey not in my club. Natural hair colors only. Anthony! Oh, hi. Of course come on in. Great, Jonathan's working the door. Sorry, ladies, we're full. Seven really? You want in my club? I texted you three times last three three times! Is your phone broken? Or your thumbs? Ok look, we're on the list. Here you see that? Let them in. You tot's owe me Seven. Nice natural looking good. Ah uh Brett Michaels is waiting down over there and you darling Sunset Strip is that way. Dude. This chick has the biggest tits you've ever seen. Hey, Jamie did her and said she was wild in bed. Jamie, bro you don't want his sloppy second are you kidding me? They call him herp for a reason. Hey, check out the old dude and the cougar. Sweetheart I'm sorry there's been some kind of misunderstanding there you go. Tom how many times do I have to tell you I only date girls 25 and younger. I'm sorry... Oh my God is that David Spade over there? He's hot. God this town is so disgusting. Oh my God, check this guy out. That's the producer I met the other night. He is so hot and well connected... oh. Out or my way... Uh oh... Don't look over there. Oh you've got to be kidding me. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm just... Skank! Dale, Baby. What you do here? Wow let me guess... Baby's mama? Did you just call me a baby? Baby she didn't just call me a baby now did she? What? Don't screw with me slut! Excuse me? You don't know her do you JP? Yeah baby. This is Dale. Not anymore you don't. Bye bye. This is my first bitch slap but seeing the look on her Botoxed face. You deserve him! Totally makes it worth it, I like! And he's going to put me in his next movie. But isn't he kind of old? Aren't you going to have to you know... Do him? Probably. Oh God! If I have to stand here and listen to this bimbo yap about the blowjob she'll have to give to get a movie part. I'll pee in my pants. Um excuse me... We're in line. Um, actually you're at the mirror which doesn't really constitute the line. Well just go... fine. I'll give you my number and then you know maybe we can hang out sometime? You gonna give me your number? Yeah. Sure. I'm down. Totally cool. We can just bypass the whole little coffee thing. Yeah right. Kind of awkward yeah... I know. Wash? Hola! Wash? No I didn't pee on my hands. Yo mama. Hey did you see ZACH? He's over there in the corner booth. Ah no I didn't see him. Did you see JP? Yep. I saw him. He looks really hot tonight. Did you talk to him? Did you just say he looks hot? Sorry it was really tacky. Wasn't it? So what's the deal with you and ZACH? Have you guys ever hooked up before? ZACH? - Yep. Um, no not really. Seriously? Yeah seriously, why are you asking? I just can't believe you've never hooked up with him before. No I mean we've hung out a lot but... nope. Well if you were telling me you were just going to leave him to the uneducated models in LA then I am going to have to jump his bones. For both of us. So are you an actress? No no not really. I thought I was for a minute but. Turns out it's not for me. Way too much self-analyzing. So what do you do now? I design jewelry. These are mine. They're very nice. - Thanks. Did you hear? Hear what? Zaps magazine just named you number one in their Hottest Man Alive issue. Yes! Can I... Oh, come on are you kidding? I mean come on Cece, it's Zaps magazine. Yeah. - It's not exactly... Wait you're leaving? Yeah where's Becca? She's with the producer. Make sure she gets home OK. Ok! Bye... mwa. Hang on excuse me for one second. Hey, Dale... Hey Dale. Hey... hey Dale. Look it's ZACH! Come on let's go inside for a minute. It's crazy. Yeah it's... it doesn't make any sense to me sometimes. Listen I didn't get a chance to talk to you I wanted to see if you wanted to go to dinner next week? Um I can't. I didn't even give you a day. Well I know I'm sorry I'm just... I'm slammed right now. Working this retarded dating reality show. OK. Well I mean look if you're not too busy then maybe you can make it by my show at the label next week. We can hang out after that? Yeah... cuz -Yeah... You didn't exactly make that show you promised you'd come to the other night. Oh I'm sorry. It's Ok. - I totally forgot. Hey you know what next week though for sure. Ok good, because you had me a little bit worried there. You know? It's not like you to just drop off the grid like that. You're my LA comfort food. You know? I need to see you every so often. LA comfort food... I like that. I'm sorry it's just been one of those months. You know that photographer JP and I... Right. We were sort of dating on and off then I found out that he got this super model pregnant. I didn't even want to come out tonight and I ran into them. And I just, I don't know I just can't hit the Hollywood scene anymore. It's just... not for me. Wow I didn't even know you were dating anyone. I thought you were... I thought you were single. Well slightly single. I mean it was never anything fully committed. Well breakups are always pretty tough. I just don't get this town? Everyone is always on the search for the bigger, better deal. It's just... Yeah but you know it's all about hype right? I mean at the end of the day that's all it is, is hype. Well yeah but it's different when you're famous. You're part of the something better that people are searching for. I am the exact same person that I've always been. I'm not in this business for the hype. Hey ZACH! Come here. Am I going to be on the cover of a tabloid as your newest squeeze? I think I can handle that. I'm so sorry. It's Ok I like a good head butt... that was... I was, meant to kiss your cheek and... I am such an idiot. He was clearly going for the lips. OK well have a good night. Thanks bye. - Bye. Seven and I work at a production company That cranks crappy reality shows. Our job is to find and cast The quote, unquote talent. Such as it is. So just be natural and forget that the camera's even here. Well I'm very comfortable in front of a camera. So why don't you tell me how you and Burt met? I'm sure that's a great story. We met on the internet. Now take these two. There here for a spot on the upcoming show "Geezer Town." Some people will say or do just about anything to be on TV. A blue pill a day makes your lady want to stay. Oh yeah! Hey Dale Ohhh... Seven There's a call for you on line two. Oh. Really? Um... I will be back in just a second. This is Dale Squire. It's Becca Can you come pick me up please? Yeah, what's wrong? I'm on Doheny and Sunset, make a left. Ok, I'll be there in two seconds. You don't want to leave this in there. That was Becca, she was crying. I don't know I've got to go pick her up. I'll be back in twenty minutes. Can you cover for me? With the phone sexing cyber spacing eighty year old couple? Yes. Please they're kind of scaring me. Yeah, yeah, yeah go. Thank you. Three, two, one... Oh, keys. Thank you. Hey. What happened? Becca what happened? What's wrong? What happened? You have got to be kidding me. I just don't understand. I mean you got a boot six months ago how can someone get a boot on their car twice in less than a year? Every Monday I have to get up and move my car before 9AM. 9AM... And... Sometimes I forget Ok? On days like this it's really helpful to remember that Becca donates blood... rescues puppies and volunteers at the local soup kitchen. How much? Nine hundred and eighty dollars. Nine hundred and eighty dollars? Yes. It's Ok, you know what we'll get the money. Love is alive, you act like a newborn child. Love is war Broken and running wild. Love is a thief and stealing your heart tonight. And you give it to me, giving me all of you. Your all I see... You're all I want it to be. I love you. Wow, he is good. I know, right? He looks so different. I don't think he's as clean as he used to be. Clean? He's got that whole grungy working for him. You can say that again. Hey Jill where's Drew tonight? Oh he had a movie screening and then he's going out with the guys Is he excited about the whole engagement? Yes he's so excited. And I decided that I don't want a long engagement so we set a date, September. Ohhhhhh That's great. Don't you think that's a little quick? Ah no Hallie I don't. I'm pushing 30 Ok. You just tell me how it feels when you get here. I'm 25 Jill it's not like you're 108. Count me out on this one. My agent told me never to divulge my real age. So I can't partake in the conversation either. And you both smell like desperate whores Thank you all for coming thank you very much. Hey. You made it huh? That was incredible. That was amazing. You think? Yeah. You know everyone right? Yeah definitely lovely ladies of LA of course and Seven how are you? Much better now that you're here how are you? Good. Hey... How are you doing? Ah I'm gonna go to the bar. Anybody want a drink? You guys want to join? I'll stay. So can you get me another Jack and Coke? Yeah sure. Ok. Hey... Hey where did Dale go? Oh she went to the bar. Oh well Cece this is Hallie. - Hey. I didn't get a chance to introduce you guys the other night. No you never did, nice to meet you. Same. Oh this is my girlfriend Dominique. So um when are you practicing tomorrow I want to hear the new song. Cece works in AR for our tour manager. So everything's got the thumbs up from her. I'm easy. I mean not that kind of easy you know. But with a voice like his you can't do much wrong. She's cute, I say go for it. You're trouble you know that Cece. What afraid you're going to fall in love? OK you have got to stop it with the winks. She winks? All the time. Becca is a winker. Becca's a wanker? No not a wanker, a winker. She winks. I only do it to guys I think are cute Ok? It's for this movie I'm doing it's a character role. So what are you guys doing afterwards? Ah home. I've got to work early in the morning. Whoa, whoa lame excuse. Excuse me can we get six tequila shots please? Top shelf? - Yeah. Oh no, no that is trouble. I puke. I'll clean it up. Ah count yourself lucky you even got he out. She's always in bed by 10PM. Just this one night. Ah I would but I really should go. Me either. I have an interview with a wedding planner in the morning. I have an audition at nine. I have casting. I'm free. I'll stay. Ok well I'll let you off the hook this one time OK. Bu next time you're staying, all of you. Bye. - Have a good night. Come on you guys. I don't mean to be rude but Can I get an autograph? Oh yeah sure. Thanks. I'm a big fan. Thank you. Wow that is... a lot of tequila. I'm just letting you know now that tequila and I are a wild mix. Things might get silly. All right but only if you do a wrap around. Go like this, I'm not going to let you put your penis n my ass either. It's an out hole, not an in hole. Why are you being such a prude? I'm not being a prude. I'm just not a porn star OK! You wanna announce our lake of sex in front of everybody? I've just got the wedding on my mind. Oh what a surprise. You haven't had any input BTW. BTW, Jesus. It's because I work and I don't sit at home eating chips and dip and obsess over the wedding. What? It is disgusting what you are doing. You're a pig. I'm a pig? Hi. Hi. Are you guys Ok? Yeah we're good we're just here working on our calves. Hey Drew. - Hey hi... Who was that? Oh I know... that's a... That's a client Jill! Got back off! Yeah right that's what it is! Every single... Jill called her engagement a match made in heaven. Watching them squabble about wedding cakes and the medicinal benefits of anal sex I couldn't help but think that Heaven has a strange sense of humor. I'll call you later OK. Ok. - Ok. Come on Bowie. Bowie? Terrible name. Listen I want to try it... Its just one little... We can't even go hiking... Just one time. No! You know that camera looks very good on you. Aww you think? So what are you going to do with these pictures? I don't know. Maybe sell them on the internet. Make some money off your ass. Album cover my man. I'm telling you. Want some? Oh no, no thanks I'm cool. You smoke too much Jivers way too much. What? It's all natural Organic. No chemicals. Is this new? It is. It's about a girl. Who's it about? That blonde? Blonde? No. No blondes. There ain't no words that I can say, cause words would just get in the way. But it is written in the wind, This is where it all begins, I've been dreaming you right. I've been holding every night Now you're wanting me to stay. Keeps getting better everyday. Everyday. I'm so happy I could cry I think about it all the time. I'm so happy I could cry I just can't get you off my mind I found the reason for living I found the reason for love. I found the reason for living Later. So how is Jill's wedding coming along? Um it's pretty good. There's a bit of drama though. Wow drama in a wedding that's shocking. Yeah well Jill wants this chapel filled with eight thousand red roses and some like... Eighty thousand dollar wedding dinner and seven thousand dollar wedding dress. And her dad won't cover the entire tab. Wow I'm very glad that I'm not Drew right now. Or her dad. Yeah but that's just Jill, you know? Only love her for it she's extravagant. You know I've known her since I was eleven. We went to boarding school together. You went to boarding school when you were eleven. Did you miss your parents a lot? Yeah... it's complicated. When did you get home to see them? Well on the holidays, or you know the occasional odd long weekend. I liked boarding school. It was what I needed. How do you mean? Well my parents died when I was a kid. I told you that right? No I'm very sorry I didn't know that. How did they die together? No they actually died separately. Um my was when I was 5. My mom when I was 11. Oh no, no, no it's not sad. It was a really long time ago. I just don't talk about it much because... Um what about your parents? They're... still together right? Still together yeah, after 30 years. And totally in love with each other. It's amazing. - You serious? Oh you can get that. Oh no, it's OK. But you can get that. Sorry. Oh it's Hallie. Just 2 seconds. Hey! Um yeah I'm still here. Um sure that's fine. Wait, you didn't really just do what I think you just did, did you? Because I kind of had plans to just spend the night with you. Um she's outside. How did she get my address? I don't know, not from me. Hello... Door's open. Hi. Dale said she was coming by to shoot the band so I thought I'd surprise you. Hey. - Hey. We actually finished a couple of hours ago but um... Really? Why don't you sit back down. You're not... Yeah you know I'm sorry I'm lame but I have to work in the morning so... You should see the show she's casting it is so funny. Look you could stay, have another beer. Oh I'm sure we'll do it some other time. I'll see you guys later. Just one second. All right Mr. Zachary I'll text you tomorrow. Why are you leaving? Because I have to work tomorrow. And you're just going to leave me with your friend in there? Hey ZACH, where's your corkscrew? Ok... Ok... She just showed up hours later unannounced. I guess something did happen between them the other night. What did ZACH say? Well I mean he said he wanted me to stay and you know but I think I was just playing dumb. I don't get you Dale, I really don't. Why? Why don't you just go for him? Because Seven I'm done having meaningless relationships with these loser LA guys and on and on and on... Whoa... is a loser LA guy? No he's... no he's not but anyhow I'm not his type, especially now that Hallie's all over him. You are so wrong. You are so wrong. It doesn't matter because hey I'm going to go out on a date with Haden. Whoa whoa, whoa But just as friends. You're going out with Haden? The fake seeking personal trainer whose only using you to get ahead in this desperate city. Oh shit Seven that's harsh. He just wants to schmooze you so you'll listen to his stupid reality show concept. He's only interested in seeing what you can do for him and his career because you have a career The only reason Hallie is into Zach is because you gave her the Ok to pursue I never said pursue. She asked me if we had ever hooked up and I said no... Look I never said this to you before but you are going to regret this... trust me. I mean you're afraid of a real relationship Dale. Why does everyone keep saying that? I am not scared of relationships But you're scared of something. Let's just forget about it. Ok... Sorry. No it's Ok I just wasn't expecting that. Was it weird seeing Dale? Yeah, yeah it was weird. I felt like I sensed something between you guys. Yeah, yeah I think maybe you did. Dale and I are really tight. You know and as I told you before Hallie I'm just not that interested in a relationship right now and I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong impression about what's going on here. She's the one that told me to pursue you just so you know. She told you that? Yeah you sound surprised. She said you guys were just friends that you've never hooked up and that she isn't your type. Not my type. So are we cool? Yeah, yeah we're cool but I just... I don't think this is a very good idea right now OK? This isn't a good idea? OK I'm just... Not that into this right now. You're not into this? No. Are you into this? Hey! Hey, Hayden. Hey, you understand that? Hey, Hayden? Oh. Oh! It's... It's really, really nice to you. So this is a great restaurant. It's got lots of health conscious options. Great. Cause you know uh... I take care of myself. As you can see. I... I did notice your pecs just now. Oh. Hey! Are you flexing? Gwyneth Paltrow eats here. Really. We need options for something low carb low fat, low sodium, high protein. Which is better, the bacon cheeseburger or the other? Is it wild caught or farm raised? Do you have chicken fingers? Organic, vegan, non soy, gluten free... Do you recommend the mac and cheese? Can you steam that instead of grilling I don't want any crudamites in my food. I'll have the crab cakes with butter sauce. Extra butter. Are these Swedish meatballs kosher? You're right, but people really are vain here. I mean, I'm not. I'm self aware which is like radically different. And it's self conscious. Conscious of self. Right. I mean, yeah, yeah. I'm self conscious. Which is a good thing, I think. What do you think? Well, I mean, I think it's really good. I'm all about my work. And my body is my work. So... one might say that... yeah, I'm all about my body. But in some respects, that is true, but you're completely missing the point. And the point is... I completely missed my point. Ok, rewind, reset. Uh, look. I've... got a great vibe between you and me. Great energy there. So, yeah. Ok. I get it. So let's lay the facts down. You want to be with me, and vice versa. That much is clear. But my work always comes first. I need to lay that... down right off the bat. Basically, my body comes before you. He seems perfect. Good looking, somewhat single minded, somewhat vain... and not too bright. No promise of a great romance. No chance of falling... too hard for this guy. No risk of getting hurt. But is this right for me? I'm kind of sensing a pattern here. You've got this great, beautiful chest on you with great definition. You probably bench press quite a bit. Is Seven right about me? I hate for Seven to be right because he's always right about that kind of stuff. I mean, seriously I don't think that's jerky... I need a sign. Is this right for me? I got this great idea. I know you're gonna love it. Fitness fanatics. It's my reality TV show. Check please. Separate checks? Yeah. Hi. Ready, Freddy? We're walking, right? You don't want to drive? You guys, it's two blocks. They have valet parking, you know. So where's Hallie this morning? I don't know. I saw her on Tuesday, and I haven't seen her for the rest of the week. You know that she changed her... status to it's complicated? What does that mean? It's... complicated? With who? Oh, my gosh, you guys. The yoga instructor just smiled at me. He has the cutest... dimples. Shh. Ok... he's telling us to shut up. His smile is just his state of zen. Oh, God. Namaste. Namaste. Do you guys really do this all the time? Yeah. I have to. I'm older than you. I get fatter quicker. Sorry I'm late. I just got your message. You're late. Hey. Hi. What's going on? You guys look so serious. I was just telling Dale about my wedding Um, Drew still hasn't picked a tux yet. Or groomsmen for that matter. Well, you know we're guys. We take a little bit longer with that stuff. Yeah. Well, I gotta go. I have a hair appointment at 2:00 and then a couple jewelry design appointments. Oh, that's so fetch. Congrats, girl. Thanks, girl. So I'll call you later. Hey, do you mind... uh, driving me home? No yoga? No. We missed it. Um, yeah. I guess. Ok, when did that start and did you know? Well, I mean, I kind of guessed, but... Does she know about... you two? What's there to know? Hallie should know better. Seriously. Anybody that knows you would know that you are so hot for him. Becca, I'm not so hot for him. No. He's your friend. And it is so typical of Hallie. She's a fame whore. No, she's not. It's... Damn it. She is a fame whore. No, she's not. Oh, God! Hallie, it's just frustrating. It's so much right now. She doesn't deserve that. Hallie was there for me when I had that swine flu. Every time I've broken up with a quasi boyfriend. And I don't know what I would've done about that stalker if it wasn't for Hallie. I need something to take my mind... off all this. Dale, I don't know what I would do without you. Oh, come on. That's what friends are for. Oh, honey. Do you like that setting? Yeah, no, I do. It's nice. You didn't even look. No. I did. I'm looking. Yeah. I love it. It's... What do you think, Dale? Ooh, that's beautiful. - Yeah? Ok, I gotta go. I've gotta go. Wait, what? I've gotta go. I've gotta go. I'm 20 minutes late for a meeting. Oh, look, that's... great. That one's my favorite. I love you! I love you... so much. I love you. Shit! He makes me so mad. We're planning the registry for the most important day of our life and he just leaves. Maybe he's just feeling a bit of... A bit of what, anxiety? Can't believe you're defending him. What? No, no, no, no. I'm not defending him. You just don't understand. You can't possibly comprehend what it feels like inside of me right now because you've never been here. That's, that's true. I used to think about what it'd be like to live your life, Dale. Just walk in your shoes. Nobody expects anything from you. They don't. No one expects anything from me? Uh-uh. 'Cause you don't have parents expecting babies... and marriages and perfect husbands. It's really hard. That's true, but it doesn't mean I want to end up alone. Tell me something, Dale. Am I expecting too much? Is wanting my fiancée to be excited about our wedding, is that too much? I don't know, Jill. Back at St. Mary's, for our first communion... the biggest deal was finding out who you were gonna get paired up with. I dreamed of walking down the aisle with Billy Dobson hand in hand. But, no such luck. He was paired with Jill, and I ended up with what's his face who picked his nose all the time. I wonder if I'll ever get to walk down the aisle with a Billy Dobson of my own. Ah, is this your parents? Yeah. That's them. And is this you with your mother? Yeah. Here. Look at this one. Oh, that's great. Great. With the smoke around Jivver's face. Yeah. So how's Hallie? Looks like... you guys are an item now, huh? No. No, not an item. Definitely not. She's a very nice girl, but um, she doesn't take no for an answer, does she? Well, you're a big boy. I'm sure you can handle... her. Hey, um, I wanted to ask you did you tell her to pursue me? Uh... - Hello there Miss homebody. Why aren't you dressed yet? For what? Did you forget my big screen debut deal? We're going to my L.A. Red carpet premiere. Hello. What do you think, Johnson? I think she's dead. No excuses. Seven was supposed to tell you. Yeah. Well, he didn't. Oh, my god, I did actually. It's just that you had your head buried in those photos and you didn't notice. Well, can I wear this? It's... L.A. You can wear whatever you want. Ok, I'll just grab my purse. I'll get your heels. Well, hello to you, too. Thought you said you had... a meeting to go to. What? You said you had... a meeting, remember when I texted you... earlier? Oh, yeah. I did, but uh, but I'm done now. Oh, great. Hallie, what's up? What's going on? What's going on? I think I should be asking you that question. Excuse me? What is going on, Dale? Uh, nothing. Look, I'm just- I'm, did I miss something here? Wait. Do you like him now? Is that it? Look, I'm just gonna leave. All right? Of course you are. Zach, you're a piece of crap you know that? You're just another famous asshole guy who thinks he can screw around with any girl he wants and then not call them. Well... fuck you! We're not... even dating, Hallie. I've told you that 10... times. Ok, look, look. I'm just gonna leave, all right, Dale? As long as I'm here this is not gonna end well. Just leave, ok? I bet you wanted that to happen didn't you? I'm seriously not following you, Hallie. You really need to calm down. You put on this little whoa is me act. But I'm not buying it. Just because you throw yourself at every guy that's famous who you think can get you somewhere, and who you think wants you... and then shoots you down, you know what, don't take that out on me, ok? You play the victim thing really well. But it's a load of crap. Shut up. You're not my... friend, Dale. You're just like every other two-faced girl in L.A. You just play it better. Come on, you guys. This is retarded. What, you're just gonna take her side? I'm not taking anybody's side, ok? Come on, Hallie, let's go. Don't touch me. Did that really just happen? This week on Dirty Roomies... Would you clean this up. I can't live like this. I made the mess. I don't know why I have to clean it up. You guys have sex. We have to do a paper edit on these and get them to run it. The producers want to see it by Friday. I think... cleaning's overrated. There's still hot food down there to eat. There's something really truthful about this waiting... and doing the whole job at once. We're gonna use up all the dishes, and then it's time to clean. So you want to talk about it? Not really. Hallie call? No. Call her? And say what? I haven't done anything. I do. I'm not a housewife. And I found fleas in the bedroom. You mean my pets? I think fleas are people, too. And... they should be treated as such. Those are my pets. And you're going to kill them? Are you a murderess? Seven, what do you think I should do? Be honest. Well, I've been honest. Not with Hallie. With yourself. Sorry, babe. I cannot give you any more advice on this one. Just take mine! And you put on... your... You know, if Vanessa has a problem with it she should clean that (bleep) up. Hey, it's Dale. Listen, Hallie, why don't you just call me back, please. Since I have a private number, Hallie won't pick up. Neither will any of our friends in case it's you know someone annoying. They will... call you back. But since we all have private numbers, it's nearly impossible for us to communicate by phone. Fortunately, I pick up my phone. Otherwise, this game of trading voicemails would never end. Hello. Hey, it's Hallie. Hey. Jerk off! This guy is on his cell phone and can't drive. Sorry. Hey... are you ok? Yeah. I'm ok. How are you? Hey, um, you want to meet up for dinner tonight and maybe just... clear the air about everything? Yeah. I think we should. How does 8pm at Cascade sound? All right. Sounds good. Great. I'll meet you there. Oh... You didn't think I'd forget... did you? Wow, they're beautiful. Thank you. So what are the big plans for tonight? Well, that was um, Hallie. She wants to uh, get together and so we can talk about everything. I think she forgot it was my birthday though. I mean which is understandable under the circumstances. What about the other girls? I guess it slipped their mind. Jill's all wrapped up in her wedding. And you know, Becca just got that huge movie, so... it's ok. Happy birthday, Dale. Hi. I have a reservation under um Squire or Hallie. Thanks. Surprise! You didn't think we were gonna forget did you? I kind of did. Happy birthday! Happy birthday! All right, guys. Let's dance! Whoo! Make a wish, but don't tell anyone or it won't come true. Ok. What could I possibly wish for? Ok. Whoo! Happy birthday. Thanks, you guys. You're drunk, Jill. You never cared before when I was drunk. And it's Dale's birthday for Christ's sakes. All right, you have got to lower your voice now. Because now you're making a scene. You bet your last, Drew. Because it's nothing they've never heard before. You are so... self centered, Drew. There's bigger things happening in the world... than your stupid actor clients, and the Nielsen ratings on the TV. You're now officially embarrassing everybody here. Ok? Don't you... dare "F"ing tell me that I'm embarrassing you, ok? Because... my friends think you're a douchebag. A... nasty ass... sleazebag agent. Drew, we don't think you're a douchebag. Jill, come on. That's ok. Thanks. Oh, where you gonna go? Are you gonna go home and masturbate? To one of your anime porns? Cartoons. He made me watch animated porn. Yeah. I'm gonna go home and masturbate! Disgusting. Because it's better than anything you're giving me at home. No, 'cause you love to masturbate. 'Cause for you, it's like having sex with something that you love! Yourself! Did she just make that up? Annie Hall. '77. I'm going home! Are you gonna go screw one of your actresses? One of your stupid, slutty... sleep your way to the top actresses. I think I need to go to the bathroom. Somebody can take her home. 'Cause now she's drunk and you're pissed off. That's like the worst combination for you. I know. Oh, just... I'm stuck. I'm sorry, Dale. Jill... You don't have to be sorry. You just got a little wasted that's... all. Oh, I drank too much. I'm never drinking again. I've heard that one before. I don't think he wants to marry me you guys. And I'm getting married in three weeks. Dale. Don't worry about Drew right now. Just finish blowing chunks, ok? Why don't you go make sure everything's ok out there. I'll stay here with Jill. Ok. Listen, Hallie. I'm really sorry. Are we ok? Yeah. We're ok. I said a lot of things I didn't mean. I'm sorry. Jill, I'm so sorry. Ok. Look... what the cat dragged in. Seven told me about your little... surprise party. It's your birthday so I wanted to come out. I'm glad you did. Wait. Where are the girls? Oh, my god. I told everybody he jacks off. To cartoons. I am not drunk. But I definitely am stoned. Which usually means he's really hungry. Did you want to come eat? Oh, no, we'll stay. I mean, I'll stay here. I'll wait on the girls. I'll stay with you. Ok. Oh... Bye. Thanks, you guys. Thank you. Going. Wow. Quite a night, huh? Yeah. Some party. Did you get your birthday dance? I don't know. Come on. Come on. Oh... finally. They're so cute. I knew it. I knew it. Do you feel older? Yes. So when is your tour starting? You know, we actually just had to push it another month. Our tour manager totally screwed it up. She got the dates wrong. Actually, Cece, who I think you've met. Oh. The blonde. Yeah, the blonde. At the park, and at the show. Right. You... you had a thing with her, right? No. No, no. She works with me. She's my tour manager, and not into guys. But what makes you think that I was into her? The fact that I'm now officially an idiot. His lesbian tour manager? Oh. What's this? It's a birthday present. It'll bring you luck. And I thought you could use a little bit. Thank you. It's beautiful. You're welcome. You're not mad at me, are you? No. No, it's actually just the opposite. And that's the problem. Good night. Don't get too attached, Dale. Come on, Jill. We're gonna go have a sleepover at Dale's tonight. Drew! You ok? She needs a couple glasses of water and some sleep. Let's go. - Yeah. Come on, babe. Ah, that's disgusting. No. This is definitely picture worthy. Is that her puke bucket? Look at... Becca's panties. They're grannie panties. Bowie. He's gonna have the worst diarrhea in the morning. It's so weird getting older, isn't it? Everything just... changes so fast. Yeah, but that's supposed to be the exciting part, isn't it? Why haven't you ever dated Zach? Because I never felt like I was... good enough for him. But you like him a lot, right? Yeah. And you think he's handsome. Yeah. And he likes that dog of yours. Yeah. He loves Bowie. And he's one of your best friends. Mm-hmm. Why don't you pursue him? I always liked him. I'm just not good at pursuing a guy. HALLIE, I'm sorry if I made you feel... jealous. I mean, I never, never meant to. I never even knew I did. I guess I just feel the way you felt with J.P., you know? Yeah. I understand that. The next morning as soon as she woke up Jill took a cab straight home to face the music. Not knowing if that music... would be a wedding march. Drew. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you. I really do love you. Me, too. Smell my hair. Does it still smell like cigarettes? No. It smells like Jill. Ugh. Wow. Look at this. Party at our place, and it's only 9am. Last night, she was wearing the ugliest pair of cotton granny panties I've ever seen in my entire life. Oh, come on, Seven. We all know that you have a pair of granny panties stashed somewhere. Please. Shut up. They were my period panties. Hello. Sorry to uh, just barge in like that. But the door was open. Hey. Look, I'm recruiting people for a ride up the coast. Who's in? Can't. - Can't. Dale? Now don't even... begin to say no. You're... coming with me. You need the fresh air. So does... Bowie. What do you think... Bowie? All right. Twist our arm. Thank you. I think he wants to go inside. Ok. Go in, boy. Good, dog. Thanks. I really needed that. Yeah. So did I. Definitely. Look, I can I just talk to you for a second, Dale? Just about you and me and about us and what's happening here. What about us? I don't know, I just... I think I'm falling in love with you. And I know that scares you, and I- It's not gonna really- I'm not going anywhere, Dale. I'm not gonna die on you. I'm not your mother, or your father. You are so scared of anything that's real. And I'm right here. And I just want to know if you feel the same way. You hooked up with one of my best friends, Zach. Wow. Wow, I thought I understood what was going on here. But I guess I was just I guess I was just totally wrong. I can't believe you're saying that about me. I can't believe you don't trust me. I just want something real. I've been chasing you for two years Dale. Two years. You know how that feels? But I can't do it anymore. Not if you don't feel the same way about me. Goodbye, Dale. I told Zach I want something real. And here I go screwing up the best chance I'll ever have at something real. What do you think I wished... for my birthday? It... starts with Z and ends with Ack. And it turns out... Zach didn't even sleep with Hallie. And even if he had how could I blame him? I practically... pushed him into Hallie's arms. She was right. Maybe I do play victim sometimes. Everyone's been right about me. You're afraid of a real relationship, Dale. I've just had a blind eye to it. I've scared of getting hurt. Because he's too perfect. I've kept Zach at arm's length. You are so afraid of getting hurt that you end up picking guys that have absolutely no substance. Hey... Am I gonna live the rest of my life... with guys like... this? Just to... avoid someone... real? No. Hell no! I'm ready to change. If I get... one more chance... I won't screw it up... again. If I just get one more... chance. I'll be right there. What are you doing here? I wanted to come by and talk. Look, I think we've done enough talking. I'm really not interested in talking with you. I just wanted to say that I understand that this isn't gonna work. You and I, that is. Ok. Why did you hang out with me? Because I don't want to be rude when you show up to my house unannounced. Like, like right now. And you're like a tiger. And... you throw yourself at me, and I don't have someone to blame right now... but you're the best I can come up with on the fly. Why aren't you with Dale? You're not the typical Hollywood guy, and she needs someone real like that. Look, I really don't know what to say to that. Dale made it pretty clear that she's not interested in me. You guys just have something between you two. I've seen guys come in and out of her life. But I've never seen her be as comfortable and happy as she is when she's with you. Whatever she's going through please don't give up on her, Zach. Just let her work it out. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I never meant to do that. You didn't. I hurt myself. I just gotta open my eyes a little wider next time. Can we maybe um, hang out just like be friends and stuff? Yeah, I don't see why not. That'd be good. Ok. Good night. Can we hang out right now maybe? I don't think that would be a very good idea. Maybe I can just come in. Not good. Right. Yeah. No, no, no, no. You don't understand. She wants yellow roses. Not red. Ok, bye. Hey. Sounds like we got here just in time. How can we help, maid of honor? I am so late. Talk to Seven. I'll be right back. Hello. Hello. 3... 2, 1. My keys. Thank you. 3... 2, 1. And the picture. Oh, thanks. I'm gonna follow her. Make sure she makes it all the way to the elevator and out the front door. Today's the big day! Ok, so the funny thing about pantyhose is, there isn't a... tag. How do you tell which way... is the front? You really can't with these things. Hi. Is there a beautiful bride in here? Oh, look at you. Nice suit. Oh, shut up. You're the one who looks beautiful. It's your day. Gosh. Becca, what the hell are you doing? No. You're not wearing pantyhose. It's hot. Take them off. No. Ridiculous. I'm so sorry. Oh, my god. Where have you been? We just wanted to make sure everything was set up, you know, perfectly at the reception and the dinner, and it's great. Wow. You look amazing. You look like a princess. What's wrong? Don't cry. It's just, I've dreamed about this day my whole life. Since my first communion. Is that weird? No, hon. We've all been dreaming about our own weddings. Now that I'm here this doesn't feel right. Everything will work out as it... should. The future kind of has a funny way of doing that. You just have to wait and see how it all unfolds. Deep breath. Yeah. Take a deep breath. Hey. Wait. Picture. No. No pictures. Ok. Oh... you know you love it. Ooh, you like that? Huh, what about here? Oh, work it. Work it. You better tag me in all these photos. Ok, I like that. Oh. Hey. No, seriously. I can't find Drew. I'm sure he's just finishing getting ready. Seven, you ever think about marriage? Do I ever think about marriage? To who, you? No. Never. No. Do you ever think about, you know having a family. Kids? Yeah, I mean I want to. Do you ever think about marrying a guy? Maybe. If they ever make it legal. Or if I ever move to Canada. Right. What about you, Dale? Do you ever want to get married? Excuse me, Dale? Hi. We're gonna close the front doors now. Uh, can we get a picture please? Uh, sure. Princess... picture pants here she loves taking photos. It's a wedding gift. Especially of hot guys. No, I'm just kidding. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I like it. Mm-hmm. Um... are they ready? Uh, I think so just give us two seconds. I'll go get Drew. Do one shirtless. - Ok. Hey, we ready? No. What do you mean no? Well... we're waiting on Drew. Ah, so typical. Drew left no explanation with anyone. I guess he felt he didn't need to since he never actually asked Jill to marry him in the first place. But as difficult and embarrassing as the day was for Jill, deep down, I don't think she was surprised. You can't push a guy into marriage like that and then expect a happy outcome. Perhaps at one point Drew did love her. He just forgot why. What now? Do you want to go get some pepperoni pizza? Honey, I think she needs something a little bit stiffer than a pizza. How about a double Jack on the rocks, huh? Uh, excuse me, Jill, I... I just want to let you know that my confessional is open all week long. I'll be there if you need to speak about anything or talk, get things off your mind. And I um... I don't mean to have to do this. It's kind of required. This is a crisis prevention helpline if you need to talk to somebody about anything. And this is a poison control. Probably might need that. I don't know. The good news is we have singles night on Tuesdays down in the basement. We like to dance around. It's a lot of fun. I married the church but I dance and look. And if anyone has lifestyle changes they might want to reconsider, they can just, oh, come to my office. Thank you, Father. You're welcome. Thank you. That's not him. He's gone. Let's go see mommy and daddy. Ok. Look, Katie. It's a bride! It's a bride! Come on! I'm gonna be a bride one day, too. This is what my dress is gonna look like. Like it? Yes. Very pretty. Thanks. Today's my first communion. Hey, my veil is the same as yours. Oh, you're right. It is. You're very pretty. Thank you. Are you the boy? Yes. You don't look as pretty as the bride. Bye. Bye. Story of my life. Ok. Come on. Hey, are you waiting for them? If you could give us a ride I'll make it worth your while. Listen, Dale. I'm too tired to drive. Will you drive my car home? Seven... Ok. Boy schmoy. Dale. Catch. Hey. Hey. No more douchebag boyfriends semi relationships, and keeping people at an emotional arms length. I just wanted to say- No, wait. Sure, I'm putting myself at risk again. But I'm finally ready to face an uncertain but promising future. You were right, Holly. This movie's awesome. You must be the last person on earth who has never seen Psycho. Spoiler alert: It's gonna scare the crap out of you. Holly, if there's one thing you should know about me, it's that I'm a pretty tough... Aah! That wasn't even scary. Yeah, but look where it got me. Hey, guys. Hope I'm not interrupting. - Actually, uh... - 'Cause I gotta talk to Holly - about something important. - What's going on, Phil? Is this shirt too tight? No, it leaves just the right amount to the imagination. Is that kung pao chicken? Oh, stop drooling. Sit down. I couldn't, I couldn't. Not without a glass of wine. So what are we watching? Wow, Psycho? - Uh-huh. - Oh, I love it. Get out the shower, girl! Get out the shower! F.Y.I., he'll be doing that the entire movie. Yippee. Hey, Holly. Sorry, do you have any himalayan sea salt? 'Cau... What say you to Thursday? My Lord, I wish Thursday were tomorrow. Thursday it is, then. Come, gentle night. Come loving, black-brewed night. Give me my Romeo, and when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars. He will make the face of Heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun. My husband. My wife. Must you be gone? It's nowhere near the dawn. You heard the nightingale and not a lark, I promise. She sings each night sitting in yonder tree. Believe me, love, it was the nightingale. It was the lark, the herald of the morn. No nightingale. Look, love, what envious streaks do lace the severing clouds in yonder east. Night's candles are burnt out, and jocund day stands tiptoe on the misty mountain tops. I must be gone and live, or stay and die. I do not think the light is daylight yet. I am content if you would have it so. I have more heart to stay than will to go. Come, death, and welcome. Juliet wills it so. I will lie with you and say it is not day. It is. It is. Go now. Begone. Away! Oh, it is the lark that sings so out of tune with horrid discords and unpleasant sharps. Oh, hurry now. More light and light it grows! More light and light, more dark and dark our woes. - Madam! - What is it? Your mother is soon coming to your chamber. The day is here. Be careful and make haste. I shall be gone. Your parents cannot know that I have been part of this deceit. Farewell, my love. One more kiss, and I'll descend. No. Come this way. I'll teach Benvolio to learn your news each day. No, more than that. Each hour in each day. Each minute in each hour is a day for pining lovers. And amen to that. Do you believe we'll ever meet again? I do not doubt it. Nor that we shall smile to think of all these troubles in the past. If God would only free me of foreboding. I think I see you, now you are below, as dim and pale as dead men in their tombs. So are you dim, love, in dawn's drab light. Our worries make us pale. So adieu. Oh, fortune, fortune, all men call you fickle because no fortune ever constant be. If that is so, then change again, oh, fortune. Be fickle now and send him back to me. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Please, Benvolio, be a guardian angel to my love. Watch her firmly and gently as it would do the eye of God. I will. I promise you. Farewell, cousin. What is the rush? I pray you tell, My Lord, I will not marry yet, and when I do, I swear it shall be Romeo, whom I hate, rather than Paris, whom I despise! Here comes your father. You can tell him so yourself. My girl is like a channel. What, more tears? The level of the sea will start to lift if much more water flows from your sweet eyes. Wife, have you told her of her marriage plans? I have, and she will have none of it, I swear. Soft. Soft. Take me with you, take me with you, wife. How? Will she none? Does she not give us thanks? Is she not proud? Does she not think her blessed, unworthy as she is, that we have brought so worthy a gentleman to be her groom? Thankful I am, and grateful for your love, but proud I cannot be of what I hate. How... how-how-how, chopped logic. What is this? "Proud" and "I thank you," but "I thank you not." Thank me no thankings, nor proud me no prouds! Be ready, lady, Thursday morning next, to go with Paris to St. Peter's Church - or I will drag thee thither on a rail! - Are you mad? Good father, I beseech you on my knees. Will you not give me leave to plead my cause? You... I tell you what. Be there, Thursday church, or never after look me in the face. - I... - Speak not. Reply not, do not answer me. My fingers itch! My lord, you're in the wrong, my lord, to punish her. Is that my lady wisdom's view? Take care. You dice with your place in talking thus. May not one speak? Oh, will you be quiet, you fool! - Now... - No, husband, you are too hot. God's blood, it does make me mad! Day, night, month, year! My constant care... has been to have my only child worthily matched. And here I find an educated man of equal birth with honorable parts, with fine estates and handsome to behold, and what is my reward? A puking fool, who answers, "I'll not wed. I cannot love. I am too young. I pray you pardon me." Now think on this. Thursday is near. If you will play the bride, then are you my daughter and all is forgot. If you will not, then you are mine no more. Graze where you will. You shall not house with me. Beg, starve or hang, I'll ne'er acknowledge thee, nor pass to you the slightest thing that's mine. I swear to this, my word, so help me God! How can Father speak so to a child who loves him better than she loves herself? Oh, oh, God. Oh, Nurse, how shall this be prevented? I have a living husband here on earth. What, should I take a second in a lie and cast myself forever into hell? Well, here it is. Romeo is... gone, and cannot come back, except in stealth at risk to life and limb. Given that case, which will not alter soon... I think it best you marry with the count. Speakest thou from thy heart? And from my soul. Or the devil take us all. Amen. Oh, Juliet, I understand your grief. I strive and strain to think howl may help. I know your father's will is absolute that Thursday next you marry with the count. Why talk of what must be which cannot be? If you have no solution to my plight, then this knife shall be my deliverer. Ah, Jesu Maria. God joined our hearts in bliss, you joined our hands, and death is better than the ruin of all. So bless this blade, unless you have a remedy, and I'll exchange my honor for my life. Daughter... I do spy a kind of hope, but it requires a desperate execution. You have the strength of will to kill yourself rather than marry Paris. Very well. You'll need that strength, and I do know a way. Rather then marry Paris, I would jump from off the battlements of yonder tower. Spend the long, dark night walled in a tomb, with rotting limbs and hollow, grinning skulls. Or order me to lie in a fresh grave, and hide myself inside the corpse's shroud. Things most hideous will I gladly do to keep myself unscarred for Romeo's love. Then go home, be merry... and agree to marry Paris. Oh, I am in earnest, Juliet. For I have knowledge to concoct a mix that will unlock you from your present cell. If you but find the nerve to swallow it. Tomorrow's Thursday. Now tonight, make sure you sleep alone. And send your prying nurse out of the room. Lie down upon your bed, then take this phial... and drink the clouded juice to the last drop. Soon, soft drowsiness will close your eyes. Your pulse will cease, and there will be no sign of life within you. Neither warmth, nor breath, nor roses in your cheeks nor on your lips, but stiff and stark and every sign of death. And in this borrowed likeness of a corpse, you will continue for six and 20 hours, and then awake as from a pleasant dream. So Paris, on his wedding morn, will come to find his bride is dead and ripe for burial in the great vault where Capulets do lie. While I will write with news to Romeo. He and I will be there when he will wake you with a kiss. And he will carry you to some far distant place, where all your anguish shall become pure joy. Give me the phial and talk no more of fear. Then go. At dawn tomorrow, a novice will set out for Mantua with letters for your lord. Farewell, dear Friar. And now, love... give me strength. You said it was a modest group of friends. And so it will be. Peter, what's the news? Well, we've hired ten cooks and 20 serving men. A quiet marriage leads to speculation. My daughter has the virtue of a saint, and I would rather none had leave to doubt. Come here, Nurse. My lord? Is Juliet gone to Friar Laurence's cell? She is, to make confession of her sins. Well, let's hope he may have found some good in her. She's here. And merrier than when she left. And where have you been, my headstrong gadabout? The holy friar sends me home to kneel and ask forgiveness for my mutiny. Pardon me, dear Father, I beseech you. Henceforward, I will live beneath your rule. Well said, my daughter. If you should find Romeo in morbid grief or feverish, these herbs will make him well. Be sure he's strong to take the journey home. But do not fear. My letter will revive him. Give me your blessing, and I will be gone. God speed your path and keep you safe from harm. Nurse, here is the key to fetch more spices. The cook wants dates and quinces for the pies. We must a-move on. Paris will be here. Get anything we need, spare not the cost. My lady and my lord, get you some rest or you will not survive the wedding feast. What nonsense! I've been up all night before for lesser cause than this. And I know why. And look to have no repetition now. A wife still jealous after all these years? Why, 'tis compliment enough to give me cheer. Hmm? Hmm? Wife! Nurse! - Will nobody obey me? ! - Oh, peace, peace! Go waken Juliet. Dress her and trim her. Pray, bring her down to compliment the bridegroom in his choice. Hmm. Mistress. My Juliet? Oh, still fast asleep? Come, lady. Come, lamb. It's time to wake. Well, you'll profit from a few hours dreams. Tonight, Count Paris will have other plans. But if your marriage will not let you rest, just wait ten years. You'll sleep all you want. Heavens, how sound you slumber. I must needs wake you. Lady. Lady! Oh, no! Come, is my bride ready to go to church? Ready to go, but never to return. My son... the night before your wedding day, your wife was stolen from you. What? Are you saying she is dead? Flower as she was... Death is now my heir. My daughter he has married. I will die and leave him all. Life, living, all is Death's. This day had promised all my happiness... and now it shows me such a sight as this? Accursed, unhappy, wretched, hateful day! The worst that ever dawned. Most woeful day. Never was so black a day as this. I am divorced... wronged... hated... killed by Death, but Death is my future. He holds all I love. Death that has killed my daughter, ties my tongue and drains my eyes and will not let me grieve. Oh, child. My soul more than my child. Dead are you now. Alack. My child is dead... and with my child, all my joys are buried. Oh, come, sir, for shame. And think of her poor soul, freed now from care and safe in heaven's bliss. Give up your grief and bring sweet-smelling flowers to lay upon her corpse with gentle tears. Then take her to church, where she may sleep among her kin for all eternity. The plans we made for joyful celebration must turn instead to mark our sorrowing woe. Our merry hymns to sullen dirges change. Sir, madam, make ready for our march, to take this lovely child to her grave. We cannot know why it is heaven's will. But we must trust in him who orders all. Stop! I beseech you, sir. In heaven's name. Say now, are you a holy man of God? I am a novice, but I serve God, yes. Have you made study in the art of herbs? - I have. - My son is sick. I have an errand to perform in Mantua. - By when? - Before tonight. Mantua is but two leagues away. I'll take you there myself. Then show me your child. Will there be anything else, sir? No, thank you, Jack. - Cousin. - Benvolio! Welcome. And with Verona's news? I do bring news. It's true. Then spit it out. How does my lady? Is my father well? How does my Juliet? See, I ask it twice. Then I must answer once... to say the worst. Her body sleeps among the Capulets... in the great monument that marks their fame. Juliet is dead? Only her mortal part. Her soul lives on in heaven's blessed care. You know this or you heard a story told? I saw her laid inside her kindred's vault. That done, I came as quick as I could find a horse to bring me. Pardon me, cousin... that I come with a tale so full of grief. And it is so? Then I must hurry. Jack! I beg you give yourself some time. You must be riven with a savage grief and need a while to calm your raging thoughts. Cousin, you're deceived. I know my mind. Are there no letters to me from the friar? No, my good lord. No matter. Go with Jack. Get fresh water for your horse. I'll meet you by the city gates. Go. Well, Juliet... I will lie with you tonight. As to the means, I will not wonder long. I do remember an apothecary who lives not far from here... if it is life... where there is neither gold... nor food... nor rest. Hey, there! Apothecary! Who calls so loud? Come over here. I see that you're poor. There is no crime in that. Nor pleasure, neither. Now, listen, I seek a kind of poison so powerful that swallowed in one dram, it stops a man and drops him in his tracks before he may but mark the consequence. If this be murder, the answer's no. The victim's one I have right to kill. I have such mortal drugs. But Mantua's law brings death to any man who issues them. Are you so thin and full of wretchedness, yet scared to die? Famine is in your cheeks. The world is not your friend. You will not find that cherishing the law makes you rich, be not poor, and break the law for this. My poverty, not my will, consents. I pay your poverty and not your will. I'm looking for Lord Romeo. He is gone. Gone? And in great haste. Back to Verona. What purpose had you with him? Nothing now. You've had a wasted journey. Who can say? I saved a child, but failed in my delivery. God's ways are hard for us to penetrate. Benvolio, you can come no further. Now take this letter early in the morn and see you deliver it to my lord and father. Farewell, Benvolio. Let us say good night. No. But... but why descend into this bed of death? Partly, I must behold my lady's face. Chiefly, I'd return this precious ring to her fair hand which gave it me. And now be gone. I go, and do not seek to question you. By which you show your love. Goodbye, dear friend. Banished Romeo Montague, who murdered Juliet's cousin, noble Tybalt... causing her the grief that took her to the grave. And now he comes to desecrate the dead. Leave them to heaven and attend to me. We needs must fight, for you are bound to die. The very reason why you find me here. I am Count Paris, and I here defend the grave of she who should have been my bride. Oh, good, gentle youth, tempt not a desperate man. Put not another sin upon my head by urging me to fury. Oh, fly hence. Be gone, survive. What? Should I buy this proof of your concern? Or is a Montague afraid to fight? May God bless you, Paris. Friar! Friar Laurence! - Friar Laurence! - Who's there? Benvolio? What brings you here to me at dead of night? My care for one you love. The good lord Romeo, he waits by Juliet's tomb, all full of woe. Why talk of woe? Say rather joy. How joy, when all his love and life are in the grave? Did he not receive my letter? What letter's that? Is that you, Tybalt, in that mortal sleep? Forgive me, cousin, for the harm I did. There is no reparation more than this, that I shall kill the man who once killed you. Leaving this sweet corpse is trial enough. Oh, my love. My wife. It is time to join you in all eternity. Juliet, why are you still so fair? Death that has sucked the honey of your breath has had no power as yet to spoil your beauty. Shall I believe he has a plan in this? That insubstantial Death is amorous, keeping you perfect for his paramour? For fear of that, I will still stay with thee. And never from this palace of dim night depart again. Eyes... look your last. Arms... take your last embrace. And lips... the doors of breath, be forever sealed with a righteous kiss. Come, bitter conduct. Come, unsavory guide. Here's to my love. Oh, true apothecary, thy drugs are quick. Juliet. Romeo. Oh, no. Thus, with a kiss, I die. No. No. No. Oh, no. Oh, no. So pale? My best beloved husband lies here dead. Not Romeo. My child. Not him of all. Oh, what unkind hour has brought to pass this miserable deed. Alas, my lady, we are overturned. No. A greater power than we can contradict has thwarted all our plans. Come away from death, contagion and unnatural sleep. Leaving my husband to face this alone? The watchman. My lady, come away. Unkind! To drink it all and leave no drop so I could follow after. Nay, good my lady. Listen now and come. I will hide you in a sisterhood of nuns. Stop, stop, not to question why. - We must away. - You go. I must bid farewell to Romeo. Stay then, until you are at peace. But linger not. I'll hold back the watchman. I'd kiss my love for one last time. Then follow you at once. Do not be late. Who's there? Who's there? Who's within? Just one kiss, in case some venom lingers on your lips. Your mouth is warm. I will explain. The boy has come here at my bidding. Somebody's coming. Then I'll be brief. Oh, happy dagger. This is thy sheath. There rust... and let me die. Patience now. We should not disturb this holy quiet. - Show me the way! - Very well, very well. If you insist. We know now how this sorrow came about, and pardon all the players in their end. Their own forbidden love did murder them. Yet can we take a lesson from their deaths. Capulet, Montague. See what a scourge is laid upon your hate, that heaven finds means to kill your joy with love. Oh, dearest Montague. Give me your hand. The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head. And join with all in grieving for the dead. For never was a story of more woe than this, of Juliet and her Romeo. Earth... Fire... Air... Water. Only the Avatar can master all four elements and bring balance to the world. Unalaq has forced Korra into opening the northern portal and trapped Jinora in the spirit world. Back in Republic City, everybody loves Varrick's Nuktuk movers. Everybody, that is, except Mako, whose pursuit of Varrick has landed him in the slammer. And in the Southern water tribe, Unalaq's army is nearing victory in the civil war. But Tonraq isn't about to give up without a fight. Dad's back! Where's Jinora? No! Her spirit is trapped in the spirit world, but she's going to be all right. - How could this happen? - It was all my fault. I should have never let Jinora enter the spirit world without me. I couldn't protect her. I'm so sorry, Pema. I tried to save her, but Unalaq tricked me. Don't worry, honey, I'm not going to stop until our little girl is back safe with us. You've got a visitor. - Hey, Mako. - Hey. What's with the fancy duds? I'm on my way to the big finale Hero of the South. Yeah, everyone's gonna be there, except for, you know, you... Because you're in jail and stuff. Thanks for the reminder. Hey, I brought you something. I thought this would brighten up your new place. Read the inscription. "Dear Mako, Nuktuk says, 'keep smiling.'" did you come by just to give me a poster? No, I came by to give you my sincere, heartfelt words of encouragement. I know our lives have been moving in two different directions, but I want you to know that I will always be there for you. We are brothers, after all, even if one of us is a member of high society and the other one is a criminal. I am not a criminal! Of course I know that, but you do kinda look like one, 'cause you're in a jail, and that's where criminals live. I was set up! Varrick knew I had figured out he was hiring gangsters to pose as northern soldiers to get Republic City to join the war. That's why he had me arrested. Ah, I see what you're doing. You're going for the insanity defense. Smart. No! I'm trying to tell you that Varrick isn't what he seems. Where's Asami? She'll listen to me. I asked her to come, but she said it was too hard for her. You being in jail like this reminds her of her dad. Okay, gotta run, but I'll be back tomorrow. And I am gonna get you the best attorney fame and fortune can buy. Bolin, wait. If my theory about Varrick is right, something might go down tonight at your premiere. Promise me you'll keep your eyes peeled. Yeah, okay, big brother. I promise. Whew! That insanity defense is definitely gonna work. Should we wait another day? Korra still might come with reinforcements. We can't wait any longer. It's time we take back what is ours! It's time to take back our city! Say "Nuktuk." There they are, folks, the sweethearts of the big screen, and Republic City's most famous couple, Bolin and ginger. Let me get a picture. Wow, that was fun. And did you hear what Shiro said? We're Republic City's most famous couple. Bolin, you're a doll, but you're as dumb as the rocks you bend. We are not a couple. That's not what Shiro said. Stop stuffing your moustaches with varri-cakes and get to your post! You got it, boss. You two are the pinnacle of refinement. This star-studded event just keeps getting star-studdier, folks. President Raiko and the first lady, buttercup Raiko, just arrived. And they're being greeted by entrepreneur extraordinaire, Varrick. There they are, my two most honored guests. Mwah! What do you think? No expense has been spared. I brought in the finest entertainers from ba sing se and the best food from around the world. Heck, I even had this red carpet imported from the fire nation. They make the best red stuff over there. In fact... all right, picture time! Varrick, you didn't have to do all this for us. I wanted to. Mr. President, I took one look at your wife, and I knew that you were a man of exquisite taste. And that's why I know you're gonna love this mover! Varrick, I know what you're doing, and I doubt your propaganda is going to change my mind about going to war with the northern water tribe. Oh, I think you'll be surprised how persuasive I can be. Thank you all for coming to the finale Hero of the South. You know, when I first started this project, there were a lot of naysayers out there. "You can't make pictures move," they said. "You can't take some knucklehead earthbender and make him a star," they said. "You can't teach a polar bear dog to speak," they said. Well, they're wrong. Thanks to the magic of the movers, our furry friends have found their voices. And you'll be shocked to hear what they have to say. They speak of the injustice that's happening in the Southern water tribe right now. My hope is that their words and this epic mover will inspire a real-life hero to rise up and help. Thank you again. Enjoy the show. When last we left our hero, be was captured by the evil Unalaq's dastardly pet bird. Amazingly, with the power of his whistling, Nuktuk escaped... And decided to seek out counsel. Thank you, wise sage. I will travel to Republic City and seek help. Have a seat. I'm just working on a cure for the common cold. No longer will my citizens suffer from the sniffles. Mr. President, there's something more important than the sniffles right now. I need your help to stop the evil Unalaq. Did you say "help"? If there is one thing I love doing, it's helping people. The seal line seemed a bit far-fetched, but the portrayal of this president is right on the money. I think this is your best mover yet. I just wish Mako was here to see it. Mmm. I like to eat the top off the varri-cake first. I just try to shove the whole thing in my mouth at once. I love our job. Huh? Northern water tribe automatons! Nooo! Bee Bo bop, Nuktuk cannot stop Unalaq. Must destroy Nuktuk. Ha ha! Aah! Looks like you forgot that water and automatons don't mix. Beep bop boo. Oh, no, circuits not working. We did it! But wait. Where's Juji? Nukno! You can't die, Juji. Not on my watch. It's okay, Nuktuk. At least I got to be... Your friend. Juji! Are you okay? It seems like this mover is really getting to you. You do know Juji's not really dead? Of course I know. Juji's fine. He comes back to life in the end when the doomsday device shifts the polarity of the earth. Oops. Spoiler. Sorry. Then what's wrong? I guess I just miss my friends. Everything is going so well for me, but it feels empty without everyone around. Korra's gone, Mako's in jail, you're doing... Business lady stuff. Team Avatar's fallen apart. I know. Things have changed so much since we first met. Why don't you come back in and fish watching the mover with me? You go ahead. I need another minute. That's weird. Whoa... ahh! Ugh! They're after the president! You're too late, Nuktuk. Soon, my doomsday device will shoot this block of ice into the earth's core, freezing the entire planet. And I will be the ruler of ice earth! I don't think so. I don't think so! Huh! Ha! Mr. President, get back! I'm here to help. Looks like there's nowhere to go. Uhh! Secure the president and call for backup immediately! Nuktuk, look out! Bolin, look out! Hyah! This is unbelievable! Bolin is bending two full stacks of earth discs at once, which would normally be illegal. But then again, he's fighting three waterbenders, so all rules are out the window. Tell me who sent you! It was Varrick. Please don't hurt me, Nuktuk! I think this is our cue to exit. Where do you think you're going? It's a knockout! They're falling back. Varrick's plan was to kidnap you and blame it on the north. Then Republic City would have no choice but to join the war on the side of the South. I can't believe Varrick would do something like this, and no one saw it coming. Actually, someone did. Remember Mako? You've got a great officer on your hands. He's one of the best. Mwah! I can't believe my boyfriend is a real-life hero. Boyfriend? Wait, stop. I thought you said we weren't a couple. You really are as dumb as those rocks. Of course we're a couple. Bolin, you saved the president. And you proved Mako was right all along. We have to go tell him what happened. Yeah. Oh, you meant right now. - President Raiko... - Avatar Korra, what's wrong? Sir, I know I've asked for your help before, but things have changed. Unalaq doesn't just want to take over the South anymore. He wants to destroy the whole world. Unalaq is gonna destroy the world? He really does have a doomsday device? He's trying to release a powerful dark spirit during harmonic convergence, which is only a few days away. If he succeeds, the world as we know it is over. Sir, we desperately need your help. I'm sorry, Korra, but my answer is still no. There are lives on the line! And my daughter is one of them. Raiko, you must reconsider. I'm aware that lives are on the line, and that's precisely why my troops are staying here. If the world is going to be thrown into chaos, like you claim, I need to protect my citizens. I'm sorry. Sir... Nuktuk needs your help. I know you love helping people. Son, I appreciate you saving my life, and I'm a big fan of your work, but my decision is final. I never should have saved that guy. If you guys need help, I'm here for you. Yeah, me too. Thank you. It's so good to see you guys again. Wait, where's Mako? So how was the big premiere? I saved the president! In real life! Wait, what? You were right about Varrick. He tried to kidnap Raiko! I knew it. But it didn't work, because of you. And because of me. Let's just say we both did good. Beifong says you're free to go. Sorry for ever doubting you, Mako. Don't worry about it, bro. Nice job, Mako. You're going to make a great Detective. But, chief, there aren't any Detective openings right now. Actually, we have two openings. Mwah. Mako, I missed you so much. Oh, yeah, did I forget to tell you? Korra's back. Korra, hey, I missed you too. So you're not still mad at me? Why would I be mad? We had that fight before you left, remember? No, not really. I got attacked by a dark spirit, and I lost my memory for a little while. Maybe it hasn't all come back yet. Was it a bad fight? Uh... Mm... No. No, it... it wasn't that bad. Korra, we don't have much time. We need to figure out how to deal with Unalaq. I think I know just the man to talk to. Guys, hey! What do you think? Varrick industries built this prison, and I had this cell made special. I had a feeling I'd end up here one day. Zhu Li, come on! We got guests. Whip up a pot of that green tea I love. Yes, sir. Zhu Li's in prison with you? Of course. I don't go anywhere without my assistant. Do you? We're not interested in your tea, and this isn't a friendly visit. Don't tell me you guys are still mad about everything that happened. I did some good things too. Korra, who warned you about Unalaq? I did. Bolin, who got you into the movers? I did. Asami, who saved your company? I did. Mako, who got you thrown in jail? I did! Oh, yeah, I guess that was a bad thing. You stole everything from me, and you tried to kidnap the president. Those are pretty bad too. I wasn't going to hurt him. I just needed to start a war. Well, a bigger war. Well, we're gonna end it. Where's all the stuff you stole from Asami? The future industries stuff? It's on my battleship. You have a battleship? Of course I do! I bought the first one they made, named her the Zhu Li. You named your battleship after your assistant? Yep. They're both cold, heartless war machines. Your tea, sir. Look, I am truly sorry for the mess I caused. Let me make it up to you. Take Zhu Li. My battleship, it's yours, and everything on it. It's not the fleet we were looking for, but it's the next best thing. All right! Team Avatar is back in business! It's okay. We're gonna stop Unalaq and get Jinora back. I hope my dad's all right. I'm sure he's fine. Get the men and fall back. What about you? I'm going to end this right now. Go! Hello, Tonraq. Looking for me? Brother, I'm too strong for you. You're no brother of mine. You betrayed me. You had me banished. Yes, I did. Stop! He's mine. You are not the true chief. I am. And you will bow to me. Now that I've defeated you, your daughter is next. What's up with the coat? And where did you get that pie? It's a Varrick ship. You never know what you're gonna find. There's a whole level filled with funhouse mirrors. Of course, there's also the cat-gator deck. I miss that guy. He really knew how to make a long trip interesting. So have you told Korra yet about how you guys broke up and then you kind of started dating Asami while she was off getting attacked by dark spirits? You wanna keep it down? I'm waiting for the right moment. Oh, Mako. You know, a wise man once told me that delivering bad news to a girlfriend was like ripping off a blood-sucking leech. You just have to do it fast and get it over with. I hate it when you listen to me. Fine. Unalaq will be waiting for you. You'll need all of your Avatar power to stop him. I'm going to close the spirit portals, lock Vaatu in for another 10,000 years, and make Unalaq wish he'd never been born! Thanks, Mako. Uh... Um... Did you want something? Uh, no, no, nothing. As soon as we reach the Southern water tribe, we'll blast through the blockade at the main port. Then we can rendezvous with Tonraq and his troops, crash through the defenses around the portal, and enter the spirit world. Whoa, since when does my little brother want to crash or blast through anything? I'll do whatever it takes to save my daughter. We all want to save Jinora, but I think your plan might be a tad overaggressive, seeing as there are only seven of us and one ship. Really? And what do you suggest? An attack like this calls for strategy. I remember when I was surrounded by pirates in the hurricane straits. We managed to capture them all with just a feather, two eggs, and a barrel of molasses. I don't want to hear any of your crazy stories now. This is serious. - Are we almost there? - Almost. But I just picked up a distress signal from the Southern troops. There's a problem. Mom! I'm so happy you're here. Where's dad? Unalaq wiped out the entire Southern resistance and captured your father. I'll get him back. Where is my mother? She's in the healing hut. So many injured. What happened? Her soul is trapped in the spirit world. Oh, my goodness. How long has she been away? Almost a week. I've tried to keep her energy flowing, but I can feel her slipping away. You're the only one who can help her now, mom. How much longer can she survive like this? I don't know. But she's very strong to have lasted this long. I talked to the rebels. They said Unalaq's got the Southern portal surrounded. Harmonic convergence is only a few hours away. Then we have to break through the enemy lines ourselves and get to the portal now. There's no use in talking anymore. We know what our mission is. A suicide mission. You know, I was in a similar situation once. My platoon had crawled through the desert with no water for a week, but when we finally located the only oasis for 100 Miles, it was surrounded by angry sandbenders. I realized our only chance to get to the water was to drop in from above. So I fashioned together a catapult, and with the help of a few well-trained hog-monkeys... enough of your ridiculous lies. Can't you see that the fate of the world and Jinora's life depends on what we do here today? Hold on. Maybe Bumi's right. We don't have a catapult and hog-monkeys, but we have a flying bison, and there's a plane on Varrick's ship. Maybe we can attack from above. What are you thinking? Mako, Bolin, and I can use the plane to create a distraction and scatter some of the defenses. You, Tenzin, Bumi, and Kya can fly into the spirit portal on Oogi when you see an opening. T's get moving. What are we still doing here, father? The invasion was completely successful, and the Southern tribe is under our control. The spirit portals are open. You've restored balance. Now we would like to go home. You don't understand. Everything I've achieved so far will pale in comparison with what I'm about to accomplish. What else is there? The water tribe is united. After today, there will be no more water tribe, no more nations of any kind. The world is about to be transformed into something magnificent and new, and I will lead this glorious revolution. Now go outside and get the troops ready to defend the spirit portal. From whom? We've already beaten everyone. The Avatar will be here soon. She has no choice. Are you ready? I'm an earthbender strapped to the wing of a plane hundreds of feet in the air, so no. Don't worry. There's no way they'll be expecting this. I think they were expecting it. Asami! Get ready. Fire! There are spirits everywhere. I don't see an opening. Let's circle around and see if we can find a way in from the other side. Hold on! The spirits are weighing Oogi down. We're losing altitude. Get off of him, you sticky, nasty, little blob of goo! Whoa! If I go, you're coming with me. Aah! Bumi! I wish Varrick was filming this. We could call it Sky warrior. Brace yourselves. Dad. Korra, I'm so sorry. I failed you. Don't give up. Harmonic convergence isn't here yet. We still have a chance. We tried. Congratulations, everyone. You've all got front-row seats for the beginning of the new world order. You don't know what you're doing, Unalaq. Freeing Vaatu won't make you powerful. It will only make you a traitor to everything good that's happened for the last 10,000 years. You think what Avatar wan did was good? Driving almost all the spirits from this world? The Avatar hasn't brought balance, only chaos. You call yourself the bridge between the two worlds, but there shouldn't be a bridge. We should live together as one. Even if Vaatu escapes, I'll put him right back in his prison, just like Wan did. It's true that, when Wan fused with Raava, he tipped the scales in her favor. But this time, I'll be here to level the playing field. When harmonic convergence comes, I will fuse with Vaatu. And together, we will become the new Avatar. A dark Avatar. Your era is over. Think about what you're doing. I know that you've always had a deep connection with the spirits, but you're still a man. You're still my brother. You're Eska and Desna's father. Are you willing to throw your humanity away to become a monster? I'll be no more of a monster than your own daughter. The only difference is that, while she can barely recognize her own spiritual power, I will be in complete alignment with mine. Vaatu and I will be as one. No one will be able to stand against us. Keep them locked up. After the harmonic convergence, I will come for Korra. Yes, father. I failed in every way. We've lost Jinora forever. There's still a chance. They didn't get Bumi. Oh, you want to play some more. Well, bring it on. Oh, we're playing dirty, huh? Hmm, looks like we've got a music lover here. Reinforcements! All right, soldiers. Looks like it's on us to save the day. Luckily, I've got a plan. Eska, Desna, listen to me. You've got to help us stop Unalaq. I know he's your father, but Vaatu has made him completely crazy. We will never turn on our father. Please, if you let me out now, I can still stop him from destroying everything. Once he fuses with Vaatu, no one will be safe. Desna, he won't be your father anymore. You don't know what you're talking about. Our father is the wisest man in the world. If he says what he is doing is right, I believe him. Huh? You know, if I wanted some ball of evil lurking over my shoulder all the time, I'd have stayed home with my mother-in-law. All right, spirit army, your general is here. Follow me! It's working. It's not working. Get me out of here! Whoo-hoo! Aah! All right, guys. Rescue time. Bumi, how did you manage to take out this entire encampment on your own? I did it all with my trusty flute and... oh, never mind. You wouldn't believe it anyway. Let's get moving. You run into the portal. I'll try to hold off anyone who comes after you. No, you're too hurt. You need a healer. Asami, can you take Oogi and my dad back to my mom? - Mm-hmm. - This is my fight now. Korra. I love you. I love you too, dad. Yipyip. Once we're inside, you go find Jinora. Mako and Bolin will take care of Unalaq while I close the portal, so Vaatu can't escape. Wait a second. Worst-case scenario. So we're fighting Unalaq, you close the portals, and let's just say something happens to you. Are we gonna be trapped in there for eternity? If everything goes as planned, we'll all walk out together after harmonic convergence. If not... Let's go. Tenzin, go find Jinora. Come on! You're running out of time, Raava. I know you feel it coming. You guys. You guys will not believe what just happened. On my way here, a taxi jumped the curb and it pinned this old lady, and I-I just went into this, like, crazy adrenaline mode and I somehow lifted it off her. Oh, my God, Ted, your wrist. Oh, yeah, I guess it's a little swollen. I must've strained it lifting. No, I believe our dear friend Lily was referring to your other wrist. The one wearing the male birth control. I was gonna go with "chastity bracelet." God, is it possible to love you more? Really? Really? I just saved someone's life, and you guys are focusing on this? Yeah, you know what, guys? Leave him alone. All right, he's a hero. Thank you. Do you think that your super strength came from wearing Wonder Woman's magic wrist cuff? Yeah, I'll have you know that because of this cuff, I have a date. With some hand lotion and the Internet? It is possible to love you more! She exists. And she's right outside. Great. Bring her in. You know what? It's so nice out. Why don't... why don't we just all go for a walk. It's pouring rain, Ted. I think it's pretty obvious she can't fit through the door. Mm. She is a gorgeous, athletic woman. "Athletic"? Sideburns, no cans. She is hot. So why can't she come in, Ted? She can come in. In six and a half months. Wait. Are you saying she's... Twenty. And a half. Almost. ♪ How I Met Your Mother 8x14 ♪ Ring Up Original Air Date on January 21, 2013 == sync, corrected by elderman == Ah-ah! Hold up, guys. She had to bounce. Um, a flash mob broke out in front of a line of Korean-Mexican food trucks in Williamsburg. The only thing that would make her more of a 20-year-old is an ironic form - of transportation. - Yeah. She's roller skating there. I don't know which is more pathetic-- that you're going out with a 20-year-old or that you bought a leather cuff to get a date with her. I didn't buy this to get a date. I just happened to be out catching up on some Saturday afternoon leather cuff shopping, Oh. and she just happened to be a leather cuff saleswoman. God, I am so glad I am done chasing bimbos. Now that I'm engaged, that whole part of my life just seems sad and empty. I don't want this to sound too harsh, Ted, but you disgust me. Until a month ago, your headboard had a lube dispenser. Uh, yeah. We got rid of that, okay? Yeah. Anyway, speaking of engaged, check out what got back from being resized. Oh, my God. Look at the size of that rock. Barney, you don't start with the I-got-caught-cheating diamond. You give yourself room to grow. It's a family heirloom. Yeah, I got a few dirty looks from Barney's half-sister over Christmas, so I had to sit her down and explain very respectfully... that she can suck it. Okay. I got to bounce. Stop saying that. This DJ from Dubai is spinning at an abandoned loading dock in Bushwick. I'm worried I don't have enough layers. So what if my friends thought it was doomed? I was still young, and I knew that a night of partying with a girl over a decade younger than me would be a total disaster. She's like an entirely different species. And I definitely didn't have enough layers. I didn't understand half the words she was saying. To me, it all sounded like hipster Mad Libs. Didn't you check your phone? I just "means of contacting" you on "currently hot social networking site." The show's been moved to "New York neighborhood you've never heard of." Oh. Wow, my phone has a clock. And they subsist on a diet of pointlessly weird combinations. Ooh. Hey, do you want to split a kimchi cupcake with bacon frosting? They are the best here. Uh, yeah. Yeah, that'll go great with my cucumber jalapeño egg cream. Chug it! Come on. Come on. We got to get going. Right. Okay. Then later, at a club in Chinatown somehow located beneath a manhole cover, it got weird. God, I just love those tiny gray hairs in your eyebrows. Old men are so sexy. All right, to be fair, some of those gray hairs were dried egg cream. Turns out, when you projectile vomit on skates, you roll right into the spray. Wait, how old does she think you are? So, were you in Vietnam? Hold that groan. Charlie was everywhere. She's hot! She likes old guys! Don't judge me! Anyway, when we got out on the dance floor, th... I swear, this is what all the 20-year-olds looked like... I want to thank you for your service to this nation, Private. Colonel. Aw. I got to end this. Yeah, seriously, Ted. Pretending to be someone else just to get laid? That's... embarrassing. Your Highness! Let's go. Ew. Marshall, take that off. What? I think it looks kind of cool. Cool? You look like one of those jerks who's in some lame band and rides a motorcycle without a helmet and has a wallet chain and neck tattoos and a drug problem. Not a... a big one, just, uh... enough that he deals a little bit on the side, and... he can never... ever be true to one woman. Finish that damn pickle and do me! Okay, you guys know how my mornings usually go. Why would we care how... Usually it's like this. After you. Aw, thank you. On the house, Robin! ♪ Take this bagel on the house ♪ Have a paper on the house ♪ I'd give you a house on the house ♪ ♪ If I could ♪ You're so beautiful ♪ Everything in life should be free ♪ ♪ It's so wonderful to be me! Mmm. Wow. Do little bluebirds help you get dressed in the morning, too? ♪ She's exaggerating ♪ To make a point! But today was different. That'll be $3.75. But I didn't have to pay yesterday. Okay. $7.50. Oh, honey-sweetie-baby. It's the ring, Robin. The ring has power. When a woman puts on an engagement ring, it's like when Bilbo Baggins wears the One Ring in The Hobbit. Okay, can you say that again but not in nerd? Sure. Uh, the ring is like the cloak that Harry Potter wears to sneak around Hogwarts. Yeah, I don't speak virgin either. The ring-- it makes you invisible. You're not precious. Oh, good, you're awake. Look, Ted, there's something we have to talk about. Boundaries? Invasion of privacy? Losing your key privileges? It's about the 20-year-old, Ted. You have to bang her. For me! Why do you want me to hook up with this 20-year-old? I thought I disgusted you. Yeah, that was all an act. Look, look, look, I love Robin and she's the only girl I want to be with. But my body is detoxing after years of one-night stands. They don't make gum or a patch for this, Ted. But, hey, billion-dollar idea alert. Oh, yeah. That's okay. I'll just buy a new dream journal. What-what-what are you looking for? Your phone. There's got to be some pictures of her in here. Damn it. No. Those are all worthless. I need some one-night-stand material, Ted. Oh. Oh. Here's your mom. Hello, Virginia. Um, my mother is not one-night-stand material. Yeah, you're right. It wasn't night and we weren't standing. Hey-oh! That didn't happen. You're right. It didn't. You just winked. No, I didn't. You just did it again! Look, bottom line: I need you to proxy bang this girl for me. Be my stand-in and put your gland in. Hey, wow, that'd be good on a hat. Barney, she's just using me for my gracefully aging body. You're picking now to get some self-respect? You once banged a blind girl by pretending to be Sean Connery. That was you. Yeah, that conquest was most enjoyable. I'm sorry. T-To hook up with a girl, I have to connect with her at least a little. Then find a connection. Just go simple. Nothing about weird poets or buildings or any of those stupid articles you've ever e-mailed me with the subject line "Food for thought." Please, Ted. I need this. Fine. You win. I'll bang a hot 20-year-old. But I'm not gonna enjoy... Oh, who am I kidding? It's gonna be awesome. Now, turn off the lights and go. Not all the way! Hello. Yeah, three... Okay, normally New York is the friendliest, most affordable city in the world. Now it's as rude and expensive as San Francisco. Guys? Oh, hey, that's life once you're engaged. Oh, tell her, baby. Make it hurt. I'll be at the booth. My panties may or may not be on when you get there. They won't be! Okay, what is going on with you guys? It's the cuff. It turns out that picturing me as a loser musician with a Vicodin addiction and a beat-up van I use to steal copper wire really turns Lily's crank. Who knew? Whoa, what-what happened to your wrist? Oh. It's an allergic reaction. So take it off. Robin, once you have a child, anything that gets you even remotely close to the possibility of sex is worth a few pus-filled blisters. Better the sores weep than I. Hey, hold on. That slut just got here. How'd she get beer already? Do you see a ring on that finger? Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you saying that this invisibility thing means I might not be able to get beer? I was just getting used to the idea of having to pay for coffee and bagels and rent. Rent? But not being able to get a beer? Unacceptable. Excuse me. Hot girl coming through. Huh. Three beers, please. ♪ Take the... Damn it, ring! Oh, yeah, baby. Mm-hmm. Later you should totally go out and buy a switchblade. Mm. Sure. While I'm out, maybe Daddy picks up some diapers and a little mild salsa because we're low. Well, you're right-- I'm invisible. That night, the only person in worse shape than Robin was her fiancé. Ted, I'm desperate. Earlier today, I saw that wrist cuff and I got a partial for Marshall. Did you bang that girl yet? Don't get your hopes, or anything else, up. I tried to connect with her, but everything just comes back to her weird fetish about how old I am. Well, j-just go simple-- does she like TV? No. But I'll watch 60 Minutes with you as loud and as long as you want. Sports? No. But I bet you look super hot playing shuffleboard, just... slathered in Bengay. Well, does she like books? No. But I bet you do. Mm-hmm. I bet you have a big, thick pair of bifocals. She doesn't have daddy issues, she has granddaddy issues. I'm ending it. Ted, I beg of you, don't quit on a body that won't quit. Ooh, ooh, that'll go sweet on a bumper sticker. That's going in the journal. Wait, did you steal my dream journal? No! Now, get back in there before all your teeth fall out and you're naked in front of Shaker Heights High School in a play you never rehearsed for. Bastard! We don't connect on a single thing. It's over. It's not... Look, Carly, I got to tell you something. I just, I don't see a future here. Oh, my God. Are you dying? Oh, that is so hot. Hey... is that R2-D2? Do you like Star Wars? I love Star Wars. Me, too! ♪ I mean, I've only seen the new ones. Close enough. So? Yeah. I knew it! I could feel it. It's almost like we were hooking up with her together. You felt that, right? I couldn't have performed if I did. Don't you see, Ted? We had a bro-nnection. All right, I got to know what she looks like-- show me a picture. Well, normally, I'm above such things, but it's been a while, and, uh, Teddy's braggin'. Okay, here she is. Okay. Scrolling up. Oh, yeah, those are "plow me" heels. Nice. Uh-huh. The knee bruise is encouraging. Working our way up to those 20-year-old ta-tas. Oh... gravity's cruel grasp hasn't found you yet, my sweet perky miracles. Now, let's get a gander at Dirty Girl's face. Mm-hmm. Her face says, "Ready to bone," am I right? I say again, am I right? That's my half sister. Then you probably shouldn't scroll to the next picture. No! That's my sister, Ted! Well, look, I didn't know! None of us even knew you had a sister until two years ago, including you! This is just some crazy coincidence. There are four million women in the city of New York, Ted, and you sleep with my sister? Why would the universe do that to me? I don't know. It's not like you've ever treated women in such a way that would invite some sort of karmic retribution. You banged my sister! My sweet, little, innocent... Pierced. Really? Where? Don't answer that! Now I know why I felt everything you did to her last night. It wasn't a bro-nnection, it was a sis-nnection! Oh, my God. Ted... did you... Big-time. Nice! High five! Wait! No! No! Retraction five! Hey, hey, you're the one who begged for a proxy bang. And while we're on the subject of family, I'm pretty sure you banged my mom-- mom beats sister. I never banged your mom. You just did the winking thing again! No, I didn't. Fine. Hey, Barney, let me ask you something. Were you, uh, feeling a little sore this morning? Especially... Friendship over! Oh, yeah. Who's your guitar-player-biker- who-couldn't-find-mild-salsa- but-said-screw-it- and-went-medium bad boy? Marshall, your hand! Okay, I'm pretty sure it wasn't that bad, but this is how Uncle Marshall likes to tell the story. Oh, yeah, no, that's the cuff. I'm woozy, and I can't flex my fingers and the rotten fish smell is getting stronger. But I'm learning to compensate with my left. Is that why last night when I asked you to honka honka me you only honka'd me? I didn't think you noticed. Snap's been jealous of Crackle all day. Just take the cuff off. No, but, baby, then all the sex will stop. Marshall, you don't need a cuff for me to find you sexy. All you have to do is smile, and I'm ready for you to hop on Pop. Thanks, baby. Are you too woozy to do it one last time before we seek emergency medical attention? Only one way to find out. Mm. I'm sorry, bro, I totally overreacted. You think? I can't believe you're allowed to ship a dead possum. He died? That possum was supposed to be an olive branch. Are you sure he's not just playing dead? He smells like Marshall's hand. And wait, you-you forgive me? Absolutely. Hey, I got a couple "cee-gars." Get over here! All right. So, where are those "cee-gars"? Eh, we'll break 'em out in a minute. Hey, Barn. Ted? Barney, what is your sister doing here? Nothing, bro. Or should I say, bro-in-law! Congratulations! You're marrying my sister! And you spared no expense, you big crazy! You know what? I love Barney, but this ring thing sucks. Some gross guy just brushed up against my rack and then apologized. And I think he really, really meant it. Oh, sweetie, I know it's nice to be groped by strangers, but nothing beats the rush you get when that one special person looks at you. It's true. Like here in this bar, there's only one thing that I see, and I see her brighter and more clearly than anything else in this world. You know what that is? That's love. And possibly alcohol mixed with some very powerful antibiotics. And that's how Barney sees you. And I know that's how you see Barney. I'd like to start the service with a passage from Ted's dream journal. "Drowning. "Gasping for air. No escape." Wait, is that about Vietnam? It's about Whole Foods. Barney. We are not getting married. And those aisles are too narrow! But you two have to get married-- otherwise, it's just a cheap, meaningless, disgusting one-night stand. Wait, just to be clear, you're saying you're opposed to cheap, meaningless, disgusting one-night stands? Yes. Barney... don't you see? Your detox is done! You're over one-night stands! Oh, my God, you're right! I'm free! Yeah. So if you think about it-- but not too much-- it's actually good that Carly and I hooked up. Yeah, it's really good. I mean, this guy goes at it like he's still in his 50s. Hey, have a cigar, you big crazy! Hey, don't try to make this okay. You still slept with my sister. Promise me you will never, ever do that again. I promise. You just winked. No, I didn't. You did it again! No, I didn't! You swear, right? Yeah. Of course. Hey. That night, even though she still couldn't get a beer, Robin realized the true power of the ring. ♪ Hey, Robin. Did you ever figure out how you're gonna get a drink at the bar now that you're engaged? Oh, sure. I know a way that's gonna last forever. Scotch on the rocks? Coming right up. Now, before you say anything about the hat... this new girl's ass is phenomenal! Hey, Marshall, you got to see this. The catalog must have mixed up my order. You won't believe the jeans they just sent me. Hilarious, right? Totally. You look like some suburban mom who drives a minivan filled with stale Cheerios and empty juice boxes... probably makes chili mac and Frito pie for dinner... smells like that menthol cigarette that she snuck while she was waiting to pick her kids up from hockey practice. Get over here! == sync, corrected by elderman == You guys will not believe what just happened. On my way here, a taxi jumped the curb and it pinned this old lady. And I just went into this, like, crazy adrenaline mode and I somehow lifted it off her. Oh, my God. Ted, your wrist. Oh, yeah, I guess it's a little swollen. I must've strained it lifting. I believe our dear friend Lily was referring to your other wrist... the one wearing the male birth control. I was gonna go with "chastity bracelet." God, is it possible to love you more? Really? Really? I just saved someone's life, and you guys are focusing on this? Yeah, you know what, guys? Leave him alone. - All right? He's a hero. - Thank you. Do you think that your super strength came from wearing Wonder Woman's magic wrist cuff? Yeah, I'll have you know that because of this cuff, I have a date. With some hand lotion and the Internet? It is possible to love you more! She exists. And she's right outside. - Great. Bring her in. - You know what? It's so nice out. Why don't we just all go for a walk? It's pouring rain, Ted. I think it's pretty obvious she can't fit through the door. She is a gorgeous, athletic woman. "Athletic." Sideburns, no cans. - She is hot. - So why can't she come in, Ted? She can come in... in six and a half months. Wait. Are you saying she's... - Twenty and a half. - Almost. Hold up, guys. She had to bounce. Um... Flash mob broke out in front of a line... of Korean-Mexican food trucks in Williamsburg. The only thing that would make her more of a 20-year-old is an ironic form of transportation. She's roller-skating there. Yeah, I don't know which is more pathetic... That you're going out with a 20-year-old... or that you bought a leather cuff to get a date with her. I didn't buy this to get a date. I just happened to be out, catching up... - on some Saturday afternoon leather cuff shopping... - Oh. And she just happened to be a leather cuff saleswoman. God, I am so glad I am done chasing bimbos. Now that I'm engaged, that whole part of my life just seems sad and empty. I don't want this to sound too harsh, Ted, but you disgust me. Uh, until a month ago, your headboard had a lube dispenser. - Uh, yeah. We got rid of that. Okay? - Yeah. Anyway, speaking of engaged, check out what got back from being resized. Oh, my God. Look at the size of that rock. Barney, you don't start with the "I got caught cheating" diamond. You give yourself room to grow. - It's a family heirloom. - Yeah. I got a few dirty looks from Barney's half sister over Christmas. So I had to sit her down and explain very respectfully that she can suck it. Okay. I gotta bounce. - Stop saying that. - This deejay from Dubai... is spinning at an abandoned loading dock in Bushwick. I'm worried I don't have enough layers. So what if my friends thought it was doomed? I was still young. And I knew that a night of partying with a girl over a decade younger than me... - would be a total... - Disaster. I mean, she's like an entirely different species. And I definitely didn't have enough layers. I didn't understand half the words she was saying. To me, it all sounded like hipster Mad Libs. Didn't you check your phone? I just "means of contacting" you on "currently hot social networking site." The show's been moved to "New York neighborhood you've never heard of." Oh. Wow. My phone has a clock. And they subsist on a diet... - of pointlessly weird combinations. - Ooh. Hey, do you want to split a kimchi cupcake with bacon frosting? They are the best here. Uh, yeah. Yeah, that'll go great with my cucumber-jalapeño egg cream. - Chug it! Come on. Come on. We gotta get going. - Right, okay. Then, later, at a club in Chinatown... somehow located beneath a manhole cover, it got weird. God, I just love those tiny gray hairs in your eyebrows. Old men are so sexy. All right, to be fair... some of those gray hairs were dried egg cream. Turns out when you projectile vomit on skates, you roll right into the spray. How old does she think you are? So were you in Vietnam? Hold that groan. Charlie was everywhere. She's hot. She likes old guys. Don't judge me! Anyway, when we got out on the dance floor, thi... I swear. This is what all the 20-year-olds look like. I wanna thank you for your service to this nation, Private. - Colonel. - Oh. - I gotta end this. - Yeah, seriously, Ted. Pretending to be someone else just to get laid... that's... Embarrassing. - Your Highness. - Let's go. Oh. Ew. Marshall, take that off. - What? I think it looks kind of cool. - Cool? You look like one of those jerks who's in some lame band... and rides a motorcycle without a helmet... and has a wallet chain and neck tattoos and a drug problem. Not a... a big one, just, uh, enough that he deals a little bit on the side. And he can never, ever be true to one woman. Finish that damn pickle and do me! Okay, you guys know how my mornings usually go. - Why would we care how... - Usually, it's like this. - After you. - Oh. Thank you. On the house, Robin! ♪ Take this bagel on the house ♪ ♪ Have a paper on the house ♪ ♪ I'd give you a house "on the house" if I could ♪ ♪ You're so beautiful ♪ ♪ Everything in life should be free ♪ ♪ It's so wonderful to be me ♪ ♪ Ooh! Wow. Do little bluebirds help you get dressed in the morning too? ♪ She's exaggerating ♪ ♪ To make a point ♪ ♪ But today was different. - That will be 3.75. - But I didn't have to pay yesterday. Okay, 7.50. Oh, honey, sweetie, baby. It's the ring, Robin. The ring has power. When a woman puts on an engagement ring... it's like when Bilbo Baggins wears the one ring in The Hobbit. - Okay. Can you say that again, but not in nerd? - Sure. Uh, the ring is like the cloak that Harry Potter wears to sneak around Hogwarts. - I don't speak virgin either. - The ring! It makes you invisible. You're not precious. Oh, good. You're awake. Look, Ted, there's something we have to talk about. Boundaries? Invasion of privacy? Losing your key privileges? It's about the 20-year-old, Ted. You have to bang her. For me. Why do you want me to hook up with this 20-year-old? I thought I disgusted you. Yeah, that was all an act. Look, look, look. I love Robin. And she's the only girl I wanna be with... but my body is detoxing after years of one-night stands. They don't make gum or a patch for this, Ted. But, hey, billion-dollar idea alert. That's okay. I'll just buy a new dream journal. What-What-What... What are you looking for? Your phone. There's gotta be some pictures of her in here. Damn it. No! Those are all worthless. I need some one-night stand material, Ted. Oh, oh, here's your mom. Hello, Virginia. Um, my mother's not one-night stand material. Yeah, you're right. It wasn't night, and we weren't standing. Hey-oh. - That didn't happen. - You're right. It didn't. - You just winked. - No, I didn't. - You just did it again! - Look, bottom line. I need you to proxy-bang this girl for me. Be my stand-in and put your gland in. Hey, wow. That'd be good on a hat. Barney, she's just using me for my gracefully aging body. You're picking now to get some self-respect? - You once banged a blind girl by pretending to be Sean Connery. - That was you! Yeah, that conquest was most enjoyable. I'm sorry. To-To hook up with a girl, I have to connect with her at least a little. Then find a connection. Just go simple. Nothing about weird poets or buildings... or any of those stupid articles you've ever e-mailed me... with the subject line "Food for Thought." Please, Ted. I need this. Fine. You win. I'll bang a hot 20-year-old. But I'm not gonna enjoy... Oh, who am I kidding? It's gonna be awesome. Now turn off the lights and go. Not all the way! Hello. Yeah, three... Okay, normally New York is the friendliest, most affordable city in the world. Now it's as rude and expensive as San Francisco. - Guys? - Oh, hey, that's life once you're engaged. Oh, tell her, baby. Make it hurt. I'll be at the booth. My panties may or may not be on when you get there. They won't be. - What is going on with you guys? - It's the cuff. It turns out that picturing me as a loser musician with a Vicodin addiction... and a beat-up van I use to steal copper wire really turns Lily's crank. Who knew? Whoa. What... What happened to your wrist? - Oh, it's an a-allergic reaction. - So take it off. Robin, once you have a child, anything that gets you even remotely close... to the possibility of sex is worth a few pus-filled blisters. Better the sores weep than I. Hey, hold on. That slut just got here. How'd she get beer already? - You see a ring on that finger? - Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you saying that this invisibility thing means I might not be able to get beer? I was just getting used to the idea of having to pay for coffee and bagels and rent. - Rent? - But not being able to get a beer? Unacceptable. Excuse me. Hot girl coming through. Oh. Hmm. Three beers, please. Damn it, ring! - Oh, yeah, baby. - Mm-hmm. - Later, you should totally go out and buy a switchblade. - Mmm, sure. While I'm out, maybe Daddy picks up some diapers and a little mild salsa... - because we're low. - Oh. Mmm. Well, you're right. I'm invisible. That night, the only person in worse shape than Robin... was her fiancé. Ted, I'm desperate. Earlier today, I saw that wrist cuff, and I got a partial for Marshall. Did you bang that girl yet? Don't get your hopes or anything else up. I tried to connect with her... but everything just comes back to her weird fetish about how old I am. Well, just go simple. Does she like TV? No. But I'll watch 60 Minutes with you as loud and as long as you want. - Sports? - No. But I bet you look super hot playing shuffleboard... just slathered in Bengay. - Well, does she like books? - No. - But I bet you do. - Mm-hmm. I bet you have a big... thick... pair of bifocals. She doesn't have daddy issues. She has granddaddy issues. I'm ending it. Ted, I beg of you. Don't quit on a body that won't quit. Ooh, ooh, that'll go sweet on a bumper sticker. That's going in the journal. - Did you steal my dream journal? - No! Now get back in there before all your teeth fall out... and you're naked in front of Shaker Heights High School in a play you never rehearsed for. Bastard! We don't connect on a single thing. It's over. It's not... G... Look, Carly, I gotta tell you something. I just... I don't see a future here. Oh, my God. Are you dying? Oh, that is so hot. Wait. Is that R2-D2? Do you like Star Wars? I love Star Wars. Me too. I mean, I've only seen the new ones. Close enough. - So? - Yeah. I knew it! I could feel it. It's almost like we were hooking up with her together. You felt that, right? - I couldn't have performed if I did. - Don't you see, Ted? We had a bronnection. All right, I gotta know what she looks like. Show me a picture. Well, normally, I'm above such things, but it's been a while, and, uh, Teddy's braggin'. Uh, here she is. Okay. Scrolling up. - Oh, yeah, those are "plow me" heels. Nice. - Mm-hmm. The knee bruise is encouraging. Working our way up to those 20-year-old tatas. Oh. Gravity's cruel grasp hasn't found you yet, my sweet perky miracles. Now let's get a gander at Dirty Girl's face. - Mmm. - Hey. Her face says, "Ready to bone." Am I right? I say again, am I right? That's my half sister. Then you probably shouldn't scroll to the next picture. No! - That's my sister, Ted. - Well, look, I didn't know! None of us even knew you had a sister until two years ago, including you. Thi-This is just some crazy coincidence. There are four million women in the city of New York, Ted... and you sleep with my sister? Why would the universe do that to me? I don't know. It's not like you've ever treated women in such a way... that would invite some sort of karmic retribution. You banged my sister! - My sweet, little, innocent... - Pierced. Really? Where? Don't answer that! Now I know why I felt everything you did to her last night. It wasn't a bronnection. It was a sisnnection. Oh, my God. Ted, did you... - Big time. - Nice! High five! Wait. No! No! Retraction five! Hey, hey, you're the one who begged for a proxy bang. And while we're on the subject of family, I'm pretty sure you banged my mom. Mom beats sister. I never banged your mom. You... You just did the winking thing again! No, I didn't. Fine. Hey, Barney. Let me ask you something. Were you, uh, feeling a little sore this morning? Especially... Friendship over! Oh, yeah. Who's your "guitar-player-biker who couldn't find mild salsa... that said 'Screw it' and went medium" bad boy? Oh. Marshall, your hand! Okay, I'm pretty sure it wasn't that bad... but this is how Uncle Marshall likes to tell the story. Oh, yeah, no. That's the cuff. I'm woozy, and I can't flex my fingers. And the rotten-fish smell is getting stronger. But I'm learning to compensate with my left. Is that why last night, when I asked you to honka-honka me... - you only honka'd me? - I didn't think you noticed. Snap's been jealous of Crackle all day. Just take the cuff off. No, but, baby, then all the sex will stop. Marshall, you don't need a cuff for me to find you sexy. All you have to do is smile, and I'm ready for you to hop on Pop. - Thanks, baby. - Mmm. Are you too woozy to do it one last time before we seek emergency medical attention? Only one way to find out. I'm sorry, bro. I totally overreacted. You think? I can't believe you're allowed to ship a dead possum. He died? That possum was supposed to be an olive branch. Are you sure he's not just playing dead? He smells like Marshall's hand. And wait... You-You forgive me? Absolutely. Hey, I got a couple cee-gars. Get over here! All right, so where are those cee-gars? We'll break 'em out in a minute. Hey, Barn. - Ted? - Barney, what is your sister doing here? Nothing, bro. Or should I say "bro-in-law"? Congratulations! You're marrying my sister! And you spared no expense, ya big crazy. You know what? I love Barney, but this ring thing sucks. Some gross guy just brushed up against my rack and then apologized. And I think he really, really meant it. Oh, sweetie, I know it's nice to be groped by strangers... but nothing beats the rush you get when that one special person looks at you. It's true. Like here in this bar, there's only one thing that I see. And I see her brighter and more clearly... than anything else in this world. You know what that is? That's love. And possibly alcohol mixed... with some very powerful antibiotics. And that's how Barney sees you. And I know that's how you see Barney. Stay back or I'll shoot him! Appreciate what you're trying to do, son. Did the same job myself, and proudly. I have no quarrel with you, but I do have a deadline. So put the gun down.. Pull the pin. Because you're not gonna shoot the president. You're right. Where does that leave us, boys? That leaves us with this. Come on! Go, go, go! What are you doing? ! Oh, no. Come on, go! This way! Follow me! Follow me! Enormous explosion over toward the West Wing. I don't know if this means the president has been killed. We know.. I got 100 people in here! Somebody tell me something! You idiot. What'd you say? You are an idiot. You just blew our whole mission. Your mission. Shut up. Mr. Stenz, this may be your lucky day. Get your men back to the basement. I, Alvin Hammond, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute.. the office of president of the United States.. and will to the best of my ability preserve, protect and defend.. the Constitution of the United States, so help me God. Sir, follow me, please. Place your hand there for scanning, please. Sir, these are your presidential launch codes. Keep them on your person at all times. Vice President Alvin Hammond has just been sworn in.. as the 47th president of the United States.. confirming, of course, the worst possible scenario.. the death of President James Sawyer. People all over the globe have been holding their breath. They're wondering what is happening right here in America. After all, the United States has the biggest weapons arsenal in the world. We need to start moving the money. Maybe buy some time. Willhebe abletogetthisextremely volatile situation under control. Muriel Walker's here. Thousands are gathering, leaving candles and flowers.. at the doors of the U. S.. We've got movement. We've got movement at the Federal Reserve. Stenz, do you hear me? Confirming they're loading the money. Let's wrap this up. Stenz, we're wasting our time here. Walker, are you sure they're down here? Did I spend 15 goddamn years running this place or did you? ! This guy is losing it. What do we care if he gets the president? We made a deal. Cale was right. This is not about ransom. Walker has cancer. His doctors gave him less than three months. He has a golfballsized tumor on his frontal lobe. Jesus Christ. I think he's on a suicide mission. You ready? Yes. What do you think you're doing? If anybody can talk him down.. it's her, trust me. A little birdie told me you're finally moving the money. Martin? I had to tell them about the tumor, Martin. That's all right. Please stop this. Please just come home. I have to do this, honey. No, you don't. They have to pay for what they did to Kevin. And when it's over.. I promise.. I promise you'll understand. You're doing this for Kevin? I swear to God. Then you do whatever it takes. You make them pay for what they did to our boy. What the hell are you doing? Walker, you stop this.. or I'll make sure she spends the rest of her life in a federal prison. You have 19 minutes. You're done. General. Your boss took the White House.. and your man inside got the president killed. Carol, calm down. You're free to go. Thank God for Gerald Ford. Why? He built this because he didn't want the press to see him in his swim trunks. Any chance this leads out of here? No. Listen, I gotta stop for a second. What? You all right? That's not good, is it? Stenz worked for the CIA, right? Right. If we can track the way that Walker contacted.. these guys, we can figure out how to stop them. How do you propose we do that? Keep an eye on Caulfield. Wait, what? Hi. I'm Carol. I'm not supposed to talk to you right now. Run a database search on the guys in that building. CIA, NSA, everything you've got. Okay, listen, Walker's not doing this for the money, trust me. There is something else going on. I can't do that, ma'am. On the worst day that our country has ever had.. you could be the key to figuring all of this out. Couldotherwisenotaccomplishthat is take back the White House. I'm gonna have to get that out. When did you become a doctor all of a sudden? Look, just talk to me, get my mind off it. Talk to me about your daughter. Emily? She's completely in love with you. She even tried to get me to vote for you. You didn't vote for me? Your daughter's smart. You should listen to her. She was like 3 when I enlisted. And to be honest with you.. I was probably just running from my marriage. Right after I deployed, Emily was watching TV.. and there was coverage on the troops in Afghanistan. She swears to me that she saw me. After that point, she became obsessed with politics. And that's when she first saw you. The man that was gonna bring Daddy home. And when I finally did come home, I realised that.. I'm not her hero anymore. So I guess I just figured that I'd try to help protect the man that is. Well, if she saw you today, Cale, she'd be proud of you. You know how when they're young and they come running up to you.. and they hug you and they're shouting "Daddy".. and all of a sudden, one day, that just stops? Yeah. I'd give anything for that hug just one more time. You know, my daughter, she's 15 years old, her name is Amber. You know what she wants for her birthday? A belly button ring. Belly button ring. What parent is equipped for that? Daughters. What'shappening? Attention, attention. Everyone below Calico T11, please clear the floor immediately. Put the president onscreen. Mr. President, Delta Force entered Washington airspace. I have Lieutenant Colonel Cameron on the line. You're online, sir! What do you have for us, colonel? We developed this plan independent of the Secret Service. We'll use the superstructure of the city to mask our approach. What if they start killing hostages? They're dead anyway if this fails. Alvin, please think about what you're doing. May I remind you that you are addressing the president of the United States? Mr. President, I don't wanna write off any Americans yet. Trust me, sir, we'll get your house back for you. Mission'sa go,colonel. Thank you, sir. You heard the president. Six minutes. So, what's it like being president? It's not like anything. Once you get into office, it's all about reelection.. and what the other side can use against you. Politics. You don't start out a politician.. but you become one. Just once, though, I wanna do something that's presidential. Something along the lines of Lincoln, Washington and Jefferson. You wanna make history. No. Not history. I wanna make a difference. If your little daughter says that I'm her hero.. then I gotta earn that. All right, we go in low and quiet. Time to target is two minutes. Falcon 2, maintain 30 feet. Falcon 1, copy, 30 feet. Dropto10 feet! Falcon 2 dropping to 10 feet. Complete chaos on the streets of D.C. There's total gridlock through.. Oh, my God! U.S. Special Forces are flying over us! Shit. Sir, we have Black Hawks coming in. Which direction? From I Street, and fast. How do you feel, Mr. President? Surprisingly good, Dr. Cale. Let me call in, make sure they don't think we're dead. The former vice president, Alvin Hammond.. is clearly calling the shots as the new commander in chief. I have John Cale on the line. Cale? Where's Carol? Finnerty's been relieved of command. The cavalry's coming. Should be hitting the residence in a few minutes. No, no, no, not by air. They have to come by ground. I think we can handle this. They have Javelin missiles. Not according to our intel. Even if we wanted to call them back, they've gone dark. If they fail, they're going to kill every single one of those hostages.. including my daughter. Just go. Take this and stay out of sight. Thirty seconds! Let's go! Incoming, three of them! Spread out! Castle in sight. I say again, Castle in sight. Are you ready? Colonel, we got movement on the roof. They've got missile lock! Evasive manoeuvres! Break right! Javelins! Javelins! Shit! Break right! I can't hold out! We're going down! Mayday! Mayday! Shit. Get down! Incoming! We're going down! One is closing in on the White House. Looks like it's checking on the conditions of the hostages. What are you gonna do? You gonna shoot the hostages? Get on the 50cal! Mulcahy, let's go! Hammer down! Hammer down! Fire! Pull up! Pull up! Yeah! Last mag. They've got missile lock! Movement on the roof. Hold your fire! Hold your fire! I think that man is a friendly! Get ready to deploy! Fast rope down! Go, go! Getusout! Missile! Javelin up! Javelin up! Countermeasures! Brace for impact! No. This mission is going terribly wrong. I can see now that there are two men on top of the roof.. and they're engaged in handtohand combat. Shit! Yes! Skip Tyler is in! Walker, that last firewall just came down. Mr. Tyler.. we are a go, sir. God bless us all. Sir. My weapons system is coming online. It's being accessed remotely. I can't.. Jesus Christ, it's targeting. What? It's firing. Target is an aircraft somewhere over Ohio. Appears to be a modified 747. Oh, my God. This is an emergency. I repeat, this is an emergency. What's going on? I don't know. Andfastenyourseatbelts. I repeat, this is.. Sir, we're under attack! It's clear that someone on the inside has orchestrated.. this takeover of the White House. That's the only way.. Mr. Speaker, we have confirmation of ground impact. We're going to need to swear you in, sir. What? Executive power passed to the vice president when he was sworn in.. which means the office now passes to you. Sir. Please follow these men. Sir, these are your new presidential launch codes. Please keep them on your person at all times. I need a moment here. I need.. I need to call my wife. Of course, sir. Thank you. Emily Cale. How are you enjoying your tour? Remember these? You and I have a date, sweetheart. You'll have to go through me. Really? You're gonna go to jail for that! And who's gonna make me? The tourist is still on the loose. But I have a hunch Daddy's gonna come back for his little girl. So he's still alive. Not for very long, he isn't. Don't screw up this time! Motts! You stay here with him. Hey! Do I look like I need a babysitter? Sit down and shut up! Oh, shit. Mr. President. I.. NORAD is fully compromised. Martin Walker now has the ability.. to launch missiles at any target in the United States. Our satellites show massive troop movements.. in Russia, Pakistan and the Arabian Peninsula. What are your orders, sir? I swear to you all, I swear.. that we are not beaten yet. We are not! No. General.. how soon can you execute an air strike on the White House? Sir. We can have Raptors on target in 10 minutes. Then do it. Let's go to work! Sir.. Carol, we have to end this. We have to. What if the next missile that he launches is aimed at Chicago or New York? We're talking about millions of lives. Your first act as president.. is going to be bombing the White House? Believe me, I know, I know. But our country is stronger than one house. This is Mission Control. Raptor Alpha 1, clear to initiate Operation Free Castle. Copy that, Raptor Alpha 1 beginning approach. We've lost two commanders in chief in one day. Look, Mark, if I'm a foreign head of state, and the United States of America.. has become a rogue nuclear power.. at what point do I take action and step in.. perhaps even with a preemptive nuclear strike? Brought you a present. It's the tourist's daughter. Well, hello, hello. Good morning, Mr. Cale. I'm sitting here with someone who would like to say hello to you. Say hello, sweetie. Say hello, sweetie. All right, then, would you like to tell your father.. what Mr. Stenz here is holding in his hand? Agun. Now, Mr. Cale.. I'm gonna start counting here.. and if you don't give the president to my men by the time I've reached three.. Mr. Stenz here is gonna shoot your little girl in the stomach. One. Two. No. No. No. I'm here. Guess Daddy doesn't love you after all. We got the president. Bring him on down. Back to your office, sir. I have John Cale on the line, sir. Cale? You put her on the goddamn phone right now. Hi, John. They have the president. John, I want you to listen to me. Help is not coming. I said they have the president. They called a strike on the White House. The vice president is dead. You need to get out. They cannot do that. They still have hostages, they still have Emily. I'm so, so sorry. I was wrong about you.. but there's nothing you can do, John. If you stay, you're gonna die. I need you to listen to me. My little girl is counting on me.. and I am not gonna disappear on her. So you tell me how much time I have. You only have eight minutes left to get them out. Goodbye, Carol. Clear out! We're moving back now! Everybody's gotta move back! Everybody move back! What do you mean, evacuate? My daughter is in that building! This is an emergency. Move back now! Please! Clear the area now! Move back now! I said move back now! Okay. Oh, there I am. That's not a bad picture. How'd they find out I did that one? Buhbye. Whatever happened to "the pen is mightier than the sword"? Martin, as the president of the United States.. this comes with the full weight, power and authority of my office: Fuck you. You okay? Can we get down to business now? I'm gonna need you to open this for me. What is that? Oh, what are you doing? This is the nuclear football, sweetie. It is keyed to the blood type and heartbeat of the president. What the hell is this? This is the deal. There's a dozen reasons why that's not gonna work. Such as? Even if I open it, my codes are useless. They switched them out once you took over the building. You let me worry about that. There's not a day that goes by that I don't feel terrible about losing your boy. But that's on me. So if you want revenge, then just shoot me. You think I blame you for Kevin's death? Sending those men in was the most courageous thing.. you ever did in your life. You were a true commander in chief for five minutes. You just don't have the balls to see the mission through. What mission? There were no nuclear weapons in Iran. But there will be. The Middle East is our last war. It will be us or them. I choose that Kevin Charles Walker will be the last American soldier.. to die in that conflict in vain. You want that as your son's legacy? Murdering millions of people in his name? Mr. President, I wish the pen were mightier than the sword, I do. But it's just a dream. Stand up, sir. History will judge who the true patriots were here today. I've been standing up, Martin, and I'm not gonna open that. Martin. Martin, that's not necessary. Martin! How about now? I can't open this for him. If I do, millions of people are gonna die, you understand that? I understand. Goddamn it! Tyler, what the hell is going on? We got thermal alarms going off in the second floor dining room.. the West Sitting Hall, and the president's bedroom. Killick, he's trying to burn the place. Second floor. Send your men. Tyler? Turn off the goddamn sprinklers! Who makes this shit? Oh, shit! What was that? I've been waiting all day to kill you. Stop hurting my White House! German mantle clock. Empire style. Killick, report! Killick, what the hell is happening? Report! Killick can't come to the phone. Where's my daughter? Dad! She's here with me.. in the Oval Office, so why don't you come down and get her? What are you gonna do? What do you think? Why do you make all this shit personal? Oh, you're talking to me about personal.. when you wanna blow up half the world for your kid! What are you gonna do? What I should've done in the beginning. I'm gonna kill this prick. Hey! What? You lied to all of us. This was not the job. I got business to finish. You stay here. How do I get to the Oval Office? Take the stairs to the ground floor.. you go to the end of the West Colonnade. There's an air strike coming! Get them out of here. Go! You heard the man! Tour's over. I didn't sign up for this nuclear bullshit. I'm gonna go and I'm gonna get the money myself. Hey! Hey! What? You think I put my country through this for money? I hate mercenaries. It's about time. I choose the pen! Come here. Get up. Up! Put your hand.. Weapon system unlocked. Enter presidential launch code. Mr. President, please wake up, wake up. Please! Sir, we're at DEFCON 1. The nuclear football in the White House went live. That's impossible. It's happening. Someone has entered valid launch codes. Captain on deck! What the hell is going on? All 24 of our nuclear missiles went live. This can't be right. Sir, we have nuclear missiles spinning up on the Albuquerque. If our allies see us launching a full scale nuclear strike, they will respond. Russia and China will launch. We'll have World War Ill.. unless you level the White House. Four minutes to target! I need a final gonna go for payload delivery. God forgive me. Go. Go! Raptor Alpha 1, Operation Free Castle.. ..is a go. Copy that. Dropping to attack altitude. Cale, Walker's trying to launch a nuclear attack. If he does, it'll start World War III. Youhaveto stophim . What? Cale? Cale? Head to the South Lawn! Almost there. Come on. Come on. Come on! I'm gonna enjoy this. Bandar Abbas. Chah Bahar targeted. Confirm Chah Bahar. Go! Leave, leave, leave! No, no! Not without my dad! Go, go, go! Your little bitch says you're gonna put me in jail! Come on, Martin. This isn't you. You protected presidents for the past 25 years. What are you gonna do? You really gonna shoot me? All right. Yes. He deserved it. You killed him! Get back. Get over here. Get in the room or I'll knock you out! And do as you're told. Go on, sit down! I'm gonna carve my name on your chest! No jail for you, you little bitch! No! No! Get it off! There was an enormous explosion in the vicinity of the West Wing. A huge ball of flames has burst into the sky. It'sgotto be morethan100feet.. Raptor Alpha 1, you are clear. Delta 26, copy that. Two minutes to target. Clear the area. Get back in there! The Department of Homeland Security.. Get in there! This is a mandatory evacuation.. Emily. No, please, please, baby. Look at me. I'm right here. Tabriz targeted. Confirm Tabriz. Please, baby, you gotta turn around and look at me. Damn it. Evacuate this area immediately! We need you to move back, people! Move back now! Emily! Get out of here! There's an air strike coming! My daughter was in there. Emily Cale. She's still in there. Wait! Emily! What is with this family? Wait for me! Confirm Tehran. Targeting complete. Armed for nuclear launch. You have 15 seconds to initiate. Fifteen, 14.. Nine, eight.. Dad! Dad, look! Five.. Dad, in his hand! ..four.. three.. Emily, get down! ..two.. Get down! One. Confirmation timed out. Delta 26, one minute to target. Go weapons hot. Thank God, Em. Daddy, I love you. You're okay. I love you so much. The president. He shot him! He shot him in there. Look, I need you to listen to me. There's an air strike coming, I need you to run. I need you to run as far and as fast as you can possibly go. Can you do that? I gotta get the president. Okay. You gotta go for me. Now, go. Hundreds of people seem to be running toward the White House. They've been told to evacuate too, but they're climbing the fence. Okay, we have confirmation. President Raphelson has ordered an air strike.. on the White House, and I can hear the planes coming. L.. I have to go. I'm sorry. Delta 26, requesting permission to deliver payload. Raptor Alpha 1, you are clear. All right, guys, let's clean it up. Delta 26, we're locked on target. Please confirm Free Castle is a go. Raptor Alpha 1, clear. Mission is a go. Delta 26, we have friendlies all over the kill zone. I cannot see the planes, but what I can see is an unbelievable sight. Emily Cale is out on the lawn, and she's waving the presidential flag. No, baby. No, I told you to run! You gotta run! Captain, do you see this? Delta 26, we have a young girl on the lawn. I think she's trying to wave off the air strike. Sir,requestingpermissiontoabort Mr. President, please. Sir! Sir! I need an answer. I'm not doing this, guys. Abort mission. Pull out! Abort! Abort! Abort! No! They have flown over the White House. It is an unbelievable moment down here. People are going wild. And Emily Cale is undoubtedly a beautiful hero of the day. Emily Cale is a little hero. This is an unprecedented moment in U. S. history. That search you requested came back. Emily, can you believe how many people have seen your video blog? It's not a video blog. It's a YouTube channel. Howmany? Seven hundred million people. Daughters. Jesus! Oh, my God. Are you okay? Honest Abe. My wife got this for me. For the inauguration. Are you kidding me? You got shot in the wa..? What I'm telling you is that good old Abe took a second bullet for me. Thank you. Thank you for what you did for Emily. It's my sacrifice, right? Yes, sir. Yep. John, listen. This isn't over yet. Walker had no prior contact.. with any of the terrorists, but someone else did. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. I'm gonna put you on speaker. Thepresident'swithme. This guy, Stenz.. made multiple calls to a secure line in D. C.. but we don't know who received them. The database was wiped 30 minutes ago. Really? Did you check Walker's personal records? His computer, his emails? You don't know Walker, John. He was a dinosaur. The man still used a pager. Oh, shit. Listen. Carol, I got to check something out. We'll see you outside. I don't believe it. I think I know how Walker got the codes, but I'm gonna need your help, sir. Move back! Move back. Emily. Oh, baby, you okay? Oh, thank God. Thank God, baby. Did you see my routine? Yeah. Oh, I'm so proud of you. You were beautiful, baby. You saved us. You know that? Hey, stay with Mommy for a second, okay? I'll be right back. John. It's disarmed. Thank God you're all right. Where's the president? He didn't make it, sir. I need to address the nation. General, get on with the Joint Chiefs. We need to move our troops into the Middle East to stabilize the region. You wanna move troops in? When they find out that we almost launched a nuclear attack.. there's gonna be chaos. We have to contain it. Can I ask you a question? Of course. Yeah. When did you and Walker cook this whole thing up? Excuse me? How'd it go? You gave Walker the launch codes and he made you president? You can prove this? Well, Walker had to get the launch codes from somewhere.. and you were the only person with those codes. And I found this pager in Walker's pocket. I only know one other person that uses one of these. That doesn't prove anything. Two old guys use old technology. So what? Why don't you call the return number on that, Carol? Would have been better if the evidence had been destroyed.. in the air strike that you ordered. You're a goddamn traitor, sir. You dim little shit. I hired you out of pity and this is how you repay me. Tomorrow, when people find out that your precious president.. helped a maniac open the nuclear football.. who do you think they're going to believe, you or me? You, you would be a nobody. But me, I'm the president of the United States. No, you're not. Eli, Eli. Quite the politician, huh? You did all of this just to keep your buddies in the defence industry happy. How far did you fall into their pockets? This is ridiculous. Take him into custody, general. Yes, sir, Mr. President. No, I'm still president. I am still president. Well, just consider this a coup d'état. Get this trash off my lawn. You're not fit for office. You son of a bitch! You're selling this country out to the Arabs. This isn't over. I got friends. And I'll make sure all of your friends meet you in prison. Let's get him to the hospital. You okay? You look terrible. Thank you for everything you did today. Thank you for trusting me. Special Agent Cale! I'm not going anywhere without my protection. You heard him. Thank you, sir. Hey, Em! You wanna take a ride? Come on. Can I go? Yeah, of course. Go with your father. She's an amazing girl. This way! Move this way! Welcome aboard. Thank you, sir. You sure you're all right? I'm all right now. Good job, special agent. Thank you, general. If you ever want a private tour of the White House, just let me know. I can hook it up like that. I mean, maybe in a few weeks.. when we've got the place back together. That's good to know. You wanna give him the news? Calls have been coming in from all over the globe for the last hour. The presidents of Iran, Russia, Israel and France have all agreed to your terms. It looks like your peace plan is a go. You keep this up, I just might have to vote for you. You wanna see something really special? Yeah. Carol. Henry, the president wants to do the thing. Hold on tight. The vice president is scheduled to preside over a Senate vote today on President Sawyer's controversial Middle East peace plan. Then tomorrow, the vote will go to Congress. Republicans and Democrats have indicated they will vote along party lines but some members have indicated that they may cross over. Castle, this is Hummingbird. We are inbound from Andy. We're three minutes out. Carol. He wants to do the thing. - Really? - Really. Mr. President, it isn't a good idea to deviate from the flight plan. Pretty please, Carol? Leader of the free world saying "pretty please"? That ought to count for something. Captain Johns, we are going to deviate from Route Omaha. The president would like to do the thing. Copy that. Let's give him the special tour. Dropping to 30 feet. Do you know that Abraham Lincoln was the first U.S. president who was in favour of women having the vote? He wrote a paper on suffrage while he was still in the Illinois legislature. Yes, I did know that because you tell me every time we do this. Castle, this is Hummingbird. We are short Foxtrot, one minute out. - I need a go-no go. - Sky Sector 1, Castle Ground all clear, three inbound. Castle Ground, Sky Sector 1, report. Hummingbird, this is Castle Ground. You are clear. Scanning sky south. Clear. Clear. Hummingbird, this is Castle Sky. You are clear. Hummingbird, this is Castle Keep. You are- - Wait. Hold. - Castle Ground, we are holding. - Air Command... - ...switch to thermal. - Roger that. Switching to thermal. Confirm Sector 5, southeast quadrant clear. Hummingbird, this is Castle Keep. You're clear. Copy that. Breaking off for security sweep. Stand by. Hummingbird approaching. Castle Ground, all clear. Be it ever so humble. Atten-hut! Escort! Not a bad way to travel, is it? Beats Dupont Circle, sir. What time does my wife get in? - Eighteen forty-five. - Wake me if civilisation ends. - Welcome home, sir. - Thank you. Hummingbird, you are released. Tell me we don't have the best job in the world. I believe the number-one source of violence in our world is poverty. Now, we were poor in my neighbourhood. Sometimes we couldn't even eat. And my best friend Ricky, he had it worse than us. One day things got so desperate for Ricky he made a plan to rob the corner store. And I told my mother about it. You know what she did? She had him over, cooked him a full meal and told him that he could stay with us as long as he wanted. And it was then that I realised that if you feed a man... you take away his propensity for violence. Come on, we're gonna be late. Hey, hey, hey- No, no, no. That's- - No, that's not-- That's not-- This is not happening right now. Clyde, we've had this conversation. My boss does not like squirrels. It's a bird feeder. Will you at least look at me when I'm talking to you? Look, man, I like squirrels personally, but you're getting me in trouble. Do you see this? You know what this is? Hey. We gonna need backup? We're working. Come on. - We have any more Robitussin? - Yes, sir. In the car. No, I'll get it, it's all right. Quiet night? We're under attack by squirrels. They're organised and they have the numbers. Little stinkers trying to get into the feeder? - Morning. - Hey, Roy. This isn't the most glamorous job in the world. Look, I appreciate it very much. - Yeah, we'll be there in 10 minutes. - As leaders, we have a choice. We can sit back and let the same cycle of war continue in the Middle East or we can do something about it. You know how much money we've spent on the war since 2001? Over a trillion dollars. Could you imagine if you had... It's gonna be a busy morning, boys. --Education, food, health care and infrastructure in the Middle East. Now, we've begun historic talks with the republic of Iran's newly elected president, Al-Sharif to build peace throughout his region. America can't do this alone. We need the full financial support of all of our allies. But what we can do is take the first step. Therefore, I'm announcing today that all U. S. troops will be removed from the Middle East. Let's not repeat the same mistakes that we made in the past. And Lord knows, I've made some mistakes myself. Instead, I ask you to stand with me today. Sign this treaty. Let's end this debilitating pattern of violence and let's show the world that the pen is truly mightier than the sword. Thank you. President Sawyer delivered what can only be described as a historic speech... -...earlier today in Geneva. - Here. - Let's go live... - You changed your hair. Last week. I'm gonna be late tonight. I love you very much. Good morning, sir. John, what do you think of the president's proposal? I don't know. It's good to have less enemies, I guess. You're a military man. You don't think he's putting us at risk? That's a little above my pay grade. If you feel that way why didn't you run against him? - No, no, no. That's one job I never wanted. I like my office. I like my constituents. I like being a thorn in the side of the administration. But I think voters today want somebody cool. Oh, come on, Mr. Speaker, I think you're pretty cool. He went to bed at 8 and watched... The president has a call scheduled with the speaker at 9:30. - I should be there for that, shouldn't I? - No. You have to be here in case of a deadlock... Hey, I'm gonna see you later. - -With the red tie for that. - Jenna? - Absolutely, Mr. Vice President. Red tie's the way to go. Jenna. Jenna. Did you get me in? - What do I get if I did? - What do you want? Dinner. Candlelight. And a promise that you will try to get to second base. Done. You're meeting with Carol Finnerty, deputy special agent in charge of the president's Secret Service. - I need a favour. - This is a favour. I need another favour. I need a pass for my daughter. - John-- - You don't understand. She's a freak for this kind of stuff, so if I get her in, I'm Dad of the Year. I will owe you so much more than just candlelight dinner. - I'll make a call. - Perfect. Thank you. You're the best. --A truly historic handshake. What President Sawyer is proposing to Iranian president Al-Sharif is withdrawing all American troops across the entire Middle East and for that he'll ask his G8 partners for help. It's all about money, and who won't like this deal are American companies who do business with the American military. Wanna grab the door? Em. I'll get it. - Hey. - You're late. - She thought you weren't coming. - Why wouldn't I be coming? Hey, you, little face. Come on, get your stuff. Let's go, baby. - Bye, Mommy. I love you. - I love you too, sweetie. What's up...? I literally just walked in the door. What did I do? You missed her talent show. No, I didn't miss it. That's, like, next Thursday. No, it was last Thursday. It was on the school calendar. What did she do? She was a flag twirler. That's a talent? She practised for like six weeks, John. She thought you were gonna be there. It would've been really nice to have a bit of a reminder. - Come on, I'm not your secretary, John. - I'm not asking you to be my secretary. Look, I'm just- - I'm trying. I'm trying really hard to be in her life. It's a little late for that, wouldn't you say? Have a good day. Are you mad at me? Just tell me. Will you be on that all day long? "Yes." Well, that sucks, because, you know, I thought you would want this, but... - Lame. You don't even know what it is. Do you really think a bribe's gonna work? Yeah. I'm hoping so. - We're both adults here, John. - Speak for yourself, okay? Can you please just open it? - For me? - What is it? It's a pony, baby. I don't-- Come on, for me, please just... These are White House passes. Yeah. That might mean we're going to the White House. And that your dad here has a job interview with the Secret Service. This is really cool, John. - You're just gonna stick with "John"? - Yeah. Now The Roger Skinner Show, today live from the White House. Hi, folks. President Sawyer is one of those academics who never served a day in his life and now he wants to tell the military how to run things? He's going to make peace with Iran because he has friends there now? Come on. Sir, I have the first lady for you. Remind me again why we let these guys broadcast from our lawn. - Freedom of the press. - You know what? I knew it was something. Hey, babe. How are the French taking it? The treaty's gonna be a tough sell here. - How's it going there? - Raphelson is the key. We lose him, then we lose that Southern voting bloc. If this goes down, you're looking at a one-term president. I know two people who wouldn't have a problem with that. Do you still have that watch I gave you? Yes, Miss First Lady. It's in my pocket next to my heart. You know, Mary Todd gave it to Lincoln to remind him he only had so much time to do good things while he was in that chair. - I hear you. Well, kiss Amber for me, okay? I love you ladies. Miss you. - I gotta go back to being president. - I love you too. Did you know that 1.5 million people visit the White House every year? No, I did not know that. Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't make it to your talent show. I'm not. Seriously. Did you know the White House used to be called the Presidential Palace? Look, I need you to hear me right now. Look at me. I really wished I was there. No, you don't. All I- - All I did was twirl a flag. It was stupid. You know that you don't have to do that with me, right? - What? - Have thick skin. You're 11. - Good morning. - Good morning, sir. - How are you? - Fine, thank you. Yourself? - Good. - Photo IDs, please. Thank you. - What are you guys looking for? Explosives. This is awesome. Park up on the left, go into the East Lobby. Have a good one. Did you know that the president travels in an 18-ton military-armoured modified Cadillac CTS built to withstand gas chemical and missile attacks? - That's on the Internet? - Wikipedia. - Capitol Police, off-duty. - Have to check your weapon. All right. Check her good. - Hey, Torn. - Hey, buddy. So how is your blog coming along? Nobody says "blog" anymore, John. What do you mean, they don't say "blog"? - I just learned "blog." - Hi. Hi. Just for 20 seconds, act like you don't hate me. - I'm Carol Finnerty. - Hi. John. - Carol? - Cale. Oh, my God. Carol Wilkes. Actually, I'm Carol Finnerty now. You're Deputy Special Agent Finnerty? Oh, you're Jenna's favour. This is Emily. This is Em, my daughter. My father is a very special man. It's nice to meet you. I paid her to say that. - Let's get started. - Okay. I don't know. Just... Sorry, I gotta ask. You didn't marry Jim Finnerty from Sigma Chi, did you? - That guy was-- - An asshole. Yes, he was. This is my colleague, Special Agent Todd. Standard Secret Service protocol requires a two-agent review for every interview. You're not to look at Agent Todd. - I'm sorry, I just looked at him. - You're only to look at me. So we just- - Okay. The subject is John Cale. Born 1980, grew up in the District of Columbia graduated Hill High in 1999. Looks like you've bounced from job to job. Mechanic, limo driver, construction. Is my credit score in there? Yes, and you should be ashamed of yourself. It's a recession, okay? Married Melanie Schopp in 2002 and had a child six months later. Filed for divorce in 2005. So you did three tours in Afghanistan and you were wounded in the Kunar province. - Yes, ma'am. - You received a Silver Star for pulling a Corporal Dawson from a burning Humvee? There was an IED attack. Humvee flipped, we were taking fire, so I grabbed him. - Why? - I was a little concerned that he was getting a little too warm in there. It's funny to me, you still think glib is the way to go here. Corporal Dawson is the nephew of the speaker of the house and when you were discharged a year ago he got you a job with the Capitol Police. Actually, on his protection detail. If Special Agent Todd keeps making those sounds I'm gonna start looking at him. - Will you give us a second, please, Ryan? John, why do you want to be in the Secret Service? I can't think of a more important job than protecting the president. Okay, this job requires a university degree. You dropped out of GW after our first semester there. - You don't finish things. - Check the file, Carol. Two years in college night school. A certificate of graduation should be in there. Great. Yeah, John, you barely maintained a C average. I'm sorry, I didn't have our little study sessions like we used to back in the day, did I? Evaluations from your senior officers: "Cale frequently does not complete his field reports on time." Nothing to do with protecting someone. "Sergeant Cale demonstrates a lack of respect for authority. Sergeant Cale has raw potential but seems determined not to realise it." You can keep reading that. That is not me anymore. I'm not the kid you used to know in college. I've buttoned up every single thing that I have to to qualify for this job. I have 10 times more experience than any Ivy League kid. It's not just about experience. I would need to depend on you every day. What do you want me to do? I'll start at the- - I'll start at the bottom. Just give me a chance. I'm sorry. Did you get the job? - Yeah, I think I got a shot. - Really? You know how it is. They gotta go talk amongst themselves and... These- - Look, these things, they can be really political. Good morning. Light day at the White House today. Eagle will remain on the 18 acres. He has phone calls to the congressional leadership. First lady is back tonight? Empress is wheels down at 1845. They're supposed to have dinner at the residence, but you know how they are. So we should have an advance on Obelisk, Marcel's, the usual. - What if she wants sushi? - No, no, she's off sushi. Remember she had that thing on the Japan trip? - Carol, how are you still awake? - Caffeine and patriotism, sir. - Threat matrix? - Well threats against POTUS have quadrupled since the G8 speech. PID is keeping an eye on a guy in Buffalo they're worried about. - Visitors today? - Just the AV guys again. DC Sonic, they're replacing the surround system in the theatre. - First lady must be thrilled. - And she's... She's coming back tonight? Carol, is she coming back tonight? Yes, sir. Wheels down at 1845. Yes, of course. As many of you are well-aware, this is my last week here so I wanna make this clear to everybody: If there are any congratulatory cakes or any of that nonsense I will be compelled to use deadly force. I hate you. I hate you all. Thank you. No incendiaries in the White House. All right, baby, I just gotta get my weapon real quick. You're gonna have to sign out, sir. Hello. You guys here for the tour? Do you think we can see where you'll be working? - Yeah, sure. - Great. Gather around, everyone, gather around. My name is Donnie and I'll be your guide today as we take a walk through American history. I wanna give you all a warm Washington, D.C. welcome to the White House where each year we get millions of guests from every corner of the globe. Where are you folks from? Washington, D.C. - Bad choice. What about you, ma'am? - Nebraska. What brings you to the White House? I wanna see the tunnels where JFK snuck Marilyn Monroe in. Unfortunately, no such tunnels exist, but don't worry, we have plenty of other exciting sights to show you guys. Follow me this way. Now, does anyone wanna guess how old the White House is? - Yes. - Two hundred and twenty-two years old. That's very accurate. Construction began in 1792 on what was then called the President's House. Now, Article 1, Section 8 of the U.S. Constitution set forth that a district of no more than 1O miles square should house the new seat of government. Does anyone know why? So no one state could claim the President's House. Right again. You're a real keener, aren't you? Now, the founders were crafty... Hey, so you can tell me the truth. Do you get picked on a lot in school? No, I don't. - It's a gift certificate for a massage. - I could use one. Martin, it's- - It's been... I know, for me too, Ted. You know you're gonna miss this. - When's the last time you took a day off? - Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine. Piece of advice: You gotta get back on the horse. - Get back on the horse? - First rule of divorce: Get right out there. Sow some oats, break some hearts, have actual human interaction with a member of the opposite sex. Carol, you keep this up, 20 years from now you're gonna look like me. Well, there are worse things. Don't make this your whole life. Trust me. It's not worth it. Go home. Get some rest. Now. And that is an order. Yes, sir. Now, not too many people realise this but the White House is actually three buildings: The East Wing where you guys came in the West Wing, which houses the Oval and Executive Offices and we're about to enter the residence, which is the famous building that... -...got blown up in Independence Day. - What's in there? That's the president's home theatre. Membership has its privileges. Right this way through the double doors, please. There's still lots more to see. You got a visitor. Hey. - Could you stay with the tour? - Yeah. Thank you. The White House is big. Including below-ground levels, it's six storeys tall with 132 rooms, 412 doors, 147 windows, 28 fireplaces and 35 bathrooms. The grounds contain a tennis court, a basketball court a putting green, a jogging track and a swimming pool. - And where's the PEOC? - The what? She's referring to the Presidential Emergency Operations Centre which is this really cool bunker behind 10 feet of concrete and steel that's capable of surviving a nuclear blast, plus for your information, miss, it's the one room in the house that no one knows the location of. WikiLeaks says it's under the East Wing. Who wants to see the bowling alley, huh? - Oh, my God. - How we doing, folks? - Mr. President. - How's the tour? You see the basketball court? Mr. President, can I ask you a question for my YouTube channel? - That'd be all right. What's your name? - Emily Cale. Emily Cale, go ahead. - Okay. - How I look on that thing? I wasn't ready for a press conference. How do you expect 22 Arab nations with different regional and religious interests to agree on a single treaty especially given the newly erupting conflicts between the Shiites and the Sunnis in southern Pakistan? Tough question. To be honest with you, I don't know. Whether they'll agree or not I'm not sure, but I gotta try. The day we stop believing different people can come together is the day we've given up on the world. I'm not ready to. What I am ready to do is give a little girl a shout-out on her YouTube blog. Hi, folks, my name is James W. Sawyer and I'm here with Emily Cale and her video blog. Check it out. - You have a good one. - Wait. Mr. President, this is my dad John. He's gonna be on your Secret Service detail. Secret Service detail. Is that right? You know, I take my protection detail very seriously. - Yes, sir. - Stop lying to children. - Nice to meet you, Emily. - Nice to meet you too, Mr. President. You guys have a good one. Need your vote now. Oh, my God, that was so fun. Thought you said no one says "blog" anymore, huh? Bye, Fred. Goodbye, Mrs. Finnerty. Oil painting by Tom Freeman to commemorate the burning of the White House by the British in 1814. - Wait, the White House burned down? - Yeah, yeah, in the War of 1812. Practically had to be rebuilt from the ground up. When I look at this painting, I get very emotional. John. I think I need to avail myself of one of the 35 bathrooms in here. There's a ladies' room downstairs. - Where? I'll take her. - I can go by myself, John. I'm not a child. Hey, just don't touch anything or wander off or talk to anybody that you shouldn't be talking to. I make no promises. He's seven minutes behind. Sorry, he got hung up on the State Floor. - Good morning, Margaret. - Morning, Mr. President. Could you get the speaker on the phone? Right away, sir. Have you and the missus zeroed in on a dining establishment? When have you known the missus to zero in on anything? Fair point, sir. Martin, I wanna shake your hand. - We're all sorry to see you go. - Thank you, Mr. President. And I know that you and Muriel have had a tough go of it since Kevin passed, and... - We all make sacrifices for our country, sir. - Yeah, but it's more-- I have the speaker of the house for you. I'm sorry. Thank you, Mr. President. Right. - Thank you, Margaret. - You're welcome, sir. - Eli. - That was quite a speech, Mr. President. If you were on board, we'd have a real shot at peace. You do know that your plan has upset the entire defence industry. These are powerful people who give money to both parties. I talked to President Al-Sharif again about the discussion we had and he's assuring me that he has proof. - And you believe him? - I do. Guys that run those corporations have been in bed with radical regimes for years. All they wanna do is keep the cycle of war going. Al-Sharif will expose them. All of that wrongdoing is gonna come out... - ...as soon as our plan is signed. - Sir, if your plan is signed. Jesus. Since when do you guys come through here? My supervisor told me to come this way. Stop. Be careful next time. I know we've had our differences, but I've never known you to be a man to let politics stand in the way of doing the right thing. If you stand with me on this, you can be the man that could take these guys down. I'd like to drag every one of these CEOs in front of Congress but there's more at stake here. I can't support this, not at the risk of leaving us militarily exposed. Come on, you know those bases are for show now. We could launch a drone off of any carrier in the gulf and hit any target we want. Excuse me, miss. Sir, you can't leave that there. Hey, buddy! Twenty-four, I'm in the rotunda. I got a maintenance-- Eli, you all right? Keep moving, let's go, push. Get your security teams up. Mr. Speaker? Mr. Speaker? - Are you all right? - I'm fine. We have to get out of here. You follow me. - Where's the vice president? - In the chamber. Tell him we need to institute Continuity of Government. - I tried. He's been cut by some glass. - Now stay close. Don't panic, take your time. There's been an explosion at the Capitol building. - And? - I'm crashing the White House. We're crashing the White House. Get the CAT Team. I want all nonessentials evac'd. Get that hallway clear if we have to move. Sergeant, bolt these doors. I need Marine 1 here as fast as possible. Sir, I need you to move away from the window, sir. Yeah. Lock down all these doors. - Do it quickly. - Go, go, go! - Sir. - The residence. Bear with us. Sir, we have a tour group on the State Floor. Hold them in the Blue Room. Maintain positions. Keep the hallways clear. - Everybody stay where you are. - My daughter's downstairs. No one goes anywhere till we lift the crash. - She's just a little girl. I gotta get her. - Step away from the door. Keep moving, please. Everybody. Gentlemen, we're on lockdown. You can't be in here. - Let's go. - Sorry? - We're on lockdown! - Can't hear you! You gotta be kidding me. Movie time is over. Shut this down! Let's go. Bobby, sync watches, 60 seconds. Silencer. Let's go. Yes, sir, that is correct, sir. - We are on full lockdown. - Hey! We need help up here now! Security sweep! Open up! Thirty seconds. Secure Air Comm. Meet at the rally. Armoury secure. All right, let's go. Let's move, move! - Hold up. We're on full lockdown here. - Hey! East Hall secure. Heading for Castle Sky. You've reached the voice mail of Emily Cale. Why aren't you texting me? Em, as soon as you get this, call me back. - Keep moving, keep moving! - Martin, I'm right outside the Capitol. What the hell is happening? Do you have the president? I have Eagle. Call WFO, get as many men as you can to the Capitol. I'll dispatch everyone I can spare. I want a hard perimeter around Castle. A hard perimeter around Castle. Eastside Gate. Come on, let's go, people. Fred, open the gate. We're gonna be fine. It's gonna be okay. - They're exiting the building. - Keep moving! Castle South clear. Clear! We have Castle Sky. Five agents in the East Gate, four in the garden. The rest should be on the South Lawn. And two policemen on the South Gate. - Let's go. - Let's go! Keep moving! Shots fired. Code Black! Code Black! - Say again. Say again. - He said "shots fired." Look, it's gotta be an AOP. You gotta get out there. - Stand back. - I'm not doing anything. You serious? Look around. - Stand back! - The threat is out there! Go out and do your job! Donnie, where'd you send my daughter? I'm sure she's fine. We're in the safest house in the world. Well, not today, it's not. - You've reached the voice mail... - Em, pick up the phone. Can't tell where it's coming from. I have no visual on him. Ten-four. Still have them on...? No. - Clear! - Clear! Negative, negative. Snipers on the roof. Do not approach Castle. Repeat, do not approach Castle. Do not advance. Do not advance. Say what? Welcome to the White House, Mr. Tyler. I love what you've done with the place. Bullet holes add to the decor. Did you see that shit Conrad pulled off at the Capitol? Goddamn! Let's keep it tight. Get to work. Where are my goddamn hostages? - Dad? -Oh, thank God. - Emily, are you okay? - Dad-- Look, it's gonna be okay, baby, I promise you. - Where are you? - Where are you at? I'll come get you. Where'd you send my daughter? Downstairs. Across the hall, second on the left. Shut up! Find him. Go! - What's going on? - What? I got it. You better. Castle, this is Hummingbird. We are on final approach. - What are we waiting for, Martin? - Marine 1 is three minutes out, sir. Castle, does anybody copy? I repeat, we are-- Break right! Break right! We are taking fire. Castle has fallen. The White House is down. Heavy weapons on the roof. - Take him to the PEOC. - They're in the building. - We need to exfilt-- - I got this! Mr. President, Mr. President, I get you to the vault their game is over. You sure you can get me there? Yes, sir. I am. Then get me to the vault. Diamond formation. Stay low, stay close, shoot first. Got it? On me. Do you have the vice president? - I repeat, do you have the vice president? - We do. - We're two miles away from Andrews. - The speaker? Negative. We do not have the speaker. - Please evacuate the Capitol. - This way. Excuse me. Kellerman! Carol, COD says we go to the Pentagon. I have the speaker. Going to the secondary location. Watch yourself. Excuse me, ma'am. Downstairs, second door to the left. Emily. No, no, no, please. Please don't! I was just on the tour! - You had a gun! - it's a phone, it's a phone. - I swear. Look, I got a daughter. Please. - Get up! Okay. That was close. Shit. You think you're tough, bitch? Keep the ground floor clear. Package is on the move. Eagle is 30 seconds from the vault. We are coming in hot. Copy that, sir. Eagle is 30 seconds from the vault. GO, go! Mr. President. Glasses. Match. We're in. Go! Go ahead. I'll button this up. Go ahead. Mr. Vice President, I apologise in advance but this is gonna be the hardest takeoff you've ever felt. We're gonna put this bird at 30,000 feet in 45 seconds. James William Sawyer. Gentlemen. What are you doing? ! Please, Martin, what are you doing? I'm sorry, Ted. - Martin! - Consider this my resignation. Emily? Where are you at, baby? Please tell me you got out of here. Mr. Stenz. We're in. I have the package. Ground floor, through the library and down the stairs. - The library. We're on our way. - We'll be waiting for you. That's the library. Don't go in there. Just-- Oh, this is so stupid. You're not gonna get away with this. Martin! What are you doing? No, Mr. President. The question is, what are you gonna do? Gonna shake my hand again? Give a little speech? Is this about Kevin? Look, I'm sorry-- Run, Mr. President! To me, to me, to me! Move! Walker. Move, move, move! Let's go, let's go, let's go! - Stand behind me and do what I say. - Walker, I say again we are coming to you, we are on the move. In the library. - Shit. I'm empty. - Walker! Run, run, run! Stenz! No, not that way! They're up there! Goddamn! We've lost the package. Secure the exits. - Which Way's this go? - West Wing. Run, Mr. President! Move! Move! This leads to the basement. - We 're in the stairwell, coming your way. - Shit. We gotta go! Elevator's here, let's go! Shit! God! They're in the elevator heading up! - Cut them off in the Central Hall! - What are you doing? Get him! Take care of Bobby. - Killick, stop them at the elevator. - I'm on it. He's in the residence! Cut him off at the residence! Son of a bitch! You screwed us, Walker. You've got one of your guys running around. - Not one of my guys. - Then who is he? I don't know, probably some schmuck from one of the tours. Your tourist killed one of my best men! So now I'm gonna take care of it! No, you will not. You will have your boys sweep every room in this place. And you will come with me, as planned. Find him. You don't talk to me like that in front of my men. - I don't, huh? - No, you don't! Ten years I've known Bobby! Twice the guy saved my life. This doesn't go unanswered! Drop the tough-guy shit with me, junior. Now, I know your story, Emil. I know what this country did to you. We're in this together. So be calm. - I'm calm. - Good. - I'm still gonna kill him. - I don't have a problem with that. But I need the president alive. Don't forget that. You promised me the leader of the free world. Don't you worry your pretty little head. We'll get him back. But without him, what kind of time frame we looking at? We have 15 minutes to load in, then maybe another 3O or so to crack the protocols without his code. After that, it's on you. - What about securing the basement? - I brought a party favour for that. - Good. - Do you know you've got a bit of something right... It's right under your nose. Vadim. You let me know the second you find these guys. Copy that. Somebody please shut the alarm off! I got work to do. Motts. Take Bobby's place in Air Comm. I'll show you the way. We got some important people waiting for us. - Are you okay, sir? - I'm all right. - Is your family in the complex? - They won't be here till tonight. - Your daughter, where's your daughter? - I couldn't find her. I hope she got out. Do you know these men? That old son of a bitch, his name is Martin Walker. He's the head of my Secret Service. You should have a conversation about how serious you take your protection. - I didn't pick him. - Why is he doing this? I think it has something to do with his son Kevin. - Why? What happened? - He was a Marine. He got killed last year in this covert action that I ordered. Would he do this for a personal vendetta? He said he wanted you alive. There's gotta be a bigger play. We gotta get out of this elevator shaft. I'm... Don't tell me you're claustrophobic. Oh, my God. The FAA needs to ground all air traffic. Where's the secretary of Homeland Security? - He's at the White House. - Who's the deputy sec? Wyck Halsey. He's also at the White House. Oh, Jesus. --Happens, our thoughts go to terrorism. I've had enough of this. Walker told us to stay where we are. Madam Secretary, gentlemen I'm gonna ask you to accompany us to the Blue Room. - Who is this man? - He is... - He's a concerned citizen. - Good morning, Mr. Secretary. - You killed the secretary of defence. - Well, he wasn't doing a very good job. Okay, so, would the remaining secretaries please join us in the Blue Room? - Sir, I'm on with Agent Reid. - How they doing? VP just puked all over Air Force One. I'm General Caulfield, vice chairman, Joint Chiefs of Staff. Have the nuclear launch codes been switched? - Yes, and new codes are active. - The stock market's collapsing. Travis, I need you to suspend trading immediately. And there's gonna be a run on the banks, so close them now. - You guys good? - Yes, sir. Don't mess it up. Son of a... Captain, where are we? We have reason to believe that the explosive was a diversion. Diversion from what? An armed team has taken over the White House. Do we have the president? I spoke to Walker. He had eyes on Eagle. Fifteen minutes is a lifetime. Radio chatter indicated they were headed for the PEOC. No contact. We have to assume they've been compromised. We gotta get you to a phone. Call SEAL Team Six and they come in here and they'll shoot these assholes in the head. - We keep a satphone in the residence. - Great. Where's that at? Of course it is. - You ever been rock climbing? - We climbing this? Unless you got a better idea, yeah. No, I don't. By the way, John Cale. - James Sawyer. -I'll get you out of here, sir. Just follow me up. Yeah, I'm right behind you. Make sure you have one handhold before you let go of the other one. - Whatever you do, I'll do. I ain't doing that shit. The scene here at the White House is getting more chaotic every second. We have got hundreds... As you can see, the military's moving into position but won't advance because of safety concerns for the hostages. --Obvious to everyone, this is the work of al Qaeda or some like-minded Arab terrorist group. - The National Guard... - The building's buttoned up. Rooftop's secure. - They attempted contact yet? - Not yet. - Apparently, we're all Arabs. - Good. - Cake? - No, I don't want cake. I'm diabetic. Hallelujah. This is my Graceland! Sweet Shiva. Sugary pops of delight. Come on, let's go! Move! Let's go, sheeple. Now, welcome to my house. Now, sit down and shut up! Oh, baby, I've missed you. Let's get you plugged in. You fit in nicely right there. Ladies and gentlemen, Skip Tyler has arrived. By the time you're watching this, I will have pulled off the greatest hack the world has ever seen. This is difficult for some, it is but for me, it's as easy as one, two, three four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Yes. Showtime! Oh, some latecomers. Secretary of Homeland Security is in the house! You're so getting fired for this. - Look who was hiding in the Press Room. - Oh, my God, Roger Skinner! The only one who speaks the truth. I love your show. Seriously. After you, please. Get in there. Come out, come out, wherever you are. Playing some hide-and-seek, little girl? Well, then, I will huff, and I will puff and I'm gonna blow your house down. - No, no, no! Leave me alone. - Get in here. - Move! - Mr. Skinner, please stop crying. Get comfortable, you little mutt. Are you okay? - Oh, my God, where's my dad? - He went looking for you. Excuse me for a second. Sir? Hi. I understand that this is a very high-stress time but if you and your colleagues could maybe be a little more careful with the priceless artefacts that are in this building because I mean, it is a living history-- Okay, because see that was a Ming Dynasty 16th-century vase that was a gift from Queen Elizabeth ll. It's irreplaceable. I'll go sit down. I'm gonna... I'll be over here if you have any more questions. Vadim, Chen, report. We're done with the residence, boss. Coming up to the third floor. Shit. "And I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. "An elephant faithful, 100%." Give me five! Yes, sirree. Hi, baby. - Your mom smells good enough to eat. - What does she smell like, Daddy? She smells like pepperoni pizza. Sausage. Lots of cheesy cheese. And a frog. Clara, honey... did you tell Mr. Rodriguez that we would eat the cost of his kid"s procedure? - Dad? - Boo Boo! Hey, baby, welcome home. My girl. This afternoon, I hired a new receptionist. J.T., take the elbows off the table, honey. It"s rude. Thank you. - What"s her name, Daddy? - Rebecca Singer. But she goes by Lisa. She just went through a rough divorce. She"s completely broke. Can you imagine? Take your fingers out of your mouth and eat more. L"ll bet she"s super nice. She just needs somebody to give her a break. - That"s way generous of you, Dad. - Just try one string bean. You know, it felt good. - She sounds like a charity case. - You"re right. She"s not perfect. They can"t all be perfect, Clara. - I guess I"ll meet her next week then. - That"s right. Your internship starts. David, it"s her summer vacation. She doesn"t have to work. You, young lady, do not listen to your daddy. You are going to go to band camp. L"ll write you a check. Writing checks, the answers to everything. Thanks, Clara, but this summer I thought I"d stick around here... pitch in, be with you guys. Besides, I really want to be an orthodontist. Yeah? Jeez! Okay, that"s it. It"s bath time. Come on. - You need some help? - No, honey, I"ll get it. I got it. David? Honey, I need you. Can you give me J.T."s blanky? - Hey, Boo Boo. - Hey. I guess Clara"s sleeping with the boys again? That"s good, you know. Boys being so close to their mom. Yeah, I think so. - Nice. Good work, Bobbi. - Of course it is. L"m the best. We were wondering. Could you be a little more explicit in your report? If we"re going to use this in court, we"re going to need more interaction. You want any extra foam on that? - You mean, more touching? - Right. Just like that, right? Like in the dressing room, could you say... my wife leaned over... and slid her hand between Lisa"s thighs? You mean, like this? Yeah, that"s good. And maybe something like this? Mr. Caine, you do understand that men and women are different. That women sometimes like to kiss and hug and carry on... and they have absolutely no intention of having sex. Right. I take the cheating business very seriously, Mr. Caine. And it doesn"t take a private investigator that"s first class, like me... to know that y"all have an agenda. So whatever that is, you need to take it someplace else. Now, hold on. Blue Moon doesn"t play your dirty little games. If someone"s cheating in that marriage, it ain"t Pam Caine. L"m keeping the pictures. No, I will not be flexible on the issue. I gave up the house, he gave up the kids. What do you mean, legally? Legally, I"m their mother. I got to go, okay? L"ll call you back. Hi. Oh, gosh. - You"re not having a good week. - Try a good year. - You don"t have to get that. - That"s all right. - That was my lunch. - L"ll buy you lunch. You must think I"m always this pathetic. Looks like you"re trying to do everything by yourself. You could use help. Yeah, mental help. Does our medical cover that: Commitment to a psych ward? Lt"s okay to ask for help, Lisa. It just means you"re human, that"s all. You"re human. Morning, Dr. Harris. - Those things will kill you. - So they say. Smile. Big smile. Oh, my goodness, you are so clean. You smell good. "I'll stay on this egg and I won't let it freeze. "I meant what I said and I said what I meant." "An elephant faithful, 100%." "So poor Horton sat there the whole winter through..." Infidelity is a virus spreading since the beginning of time. It lives in our tree-lined neighborhoods, in our office buildings... our churches, coffee shops, and YMCAs. David, I need you. Come here. Come here and hold me. There are certain moments that define your entire life. Moments when a shock goes through your body. And although you don't understand it yet, you know... from this point forward, nothing will ever be the same again. News flash: It ain't real. On the outside you might be Soccer Mom of the Year, but on the inside... it's all you can do to hold it together. Keep up the image. All across America, families are hiding behind the same mask... of baseball practice, Girl Scout cookies, Harry Potter sequels... and $15 Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards. Truth is, we're all living in fear and hiding behind our SUVs. One of these days, the other shoe's gonna drop, honey. It's going to drop. - Hi. - Hi. Here we go. We"re all set. - Do you have a pen, please? - Yes, I do. Here you go. How are we feeling? - It hurts. - Yeah. - What time is the soccer game, honey? - About 2:00 on Saturday. - Who are you playing? - The Cougars. If we beat them, we"re in the playoffs. Mom, can I go to the park? What? Yeah. Oh, my! Look at you. Derek, go to your room. Man, you"re fantastic. Mama, I"m getting married. Doesn"t Cassie look beautiful? Mom? Sweetheart, we could not be happier. Isn"t that right, Bobbi? I told you she wouldn"t like it. I figured since it was your first wedding dress, it"d be perfect. That dress is jinxed. - Figures. - Cassie, wait. She"s gonna ruin this. She"s just dying to ruin this! Mom"s got three kids and we all got different dads. What did you expect? - Tim would never cheat. - Cassie, your own dad"s a cheater. I know you love him, and Rick"s a great guy and all that... but he still cheated on Mom. Just like every other jerk she"s been with. Don"t worry, you can still call it off. You know Mom"s right. You know in your heart it will never last. There are still some people in this world that believe in marriage. Whatever. But I love him. Does anybody in this family even care that I love him? - You want a double-chocolate muffin? - And how much is that? May I have one to go? I thought he was happy. L"m happy. L"m damn blissful. Pete is happy, Joan. He loves you. The two are completely separate issues. My PI was right. Marriage is a big sham. - How old is she? - Twenty-two. She"s the towel girl at the 24 Hour Fitness. For weeks, Pete was complaining: "Why aren"t our towels as white as the towels at the gym?" And then one day, not another word about towels. That"s when I knew. - I guess I have to leave him. - I would. - No way. - Brenda. You"ll just have to win him back. Women"s Club. Same time every Tuesday. When was the last time you and Pete had a date? We went to Tiffany"s soccer game on Friday night. A date, Joan. High heels, tight skirt, pretending to be the maid? Joan is a grownup, not a Barbie doll. She has real-life responsibilities. - Pete needs to suck it up and be a man. - Says a woman twice divorced. Look, Joan, is Pete being a prepubescent jerk? Yes. He"s a man in his 40s. What do you expect? You"re the one who will have to change. I don"t like it, but I work within the system. - Maybe you"re right. - Of course I"m right. You need to spend less time with the kids and more time in the sack. You smell good enough to eat. All that hot, warm syrup. Cherries. How could Mike not appreciate this body? L"d never get tired of this foot, knee... or this little spot right here. I love you. I don"t know what I"m supposed to tell her. Her own father left me. And the next two-faced liar I met, Bo... slept with my best friend when I was in the hospital. In the hospital, Lucas, having surgery on my right ovary. Cassie knows this. She knows I found that slut"s library card sitting next to my birth control pills. Like Karen"s ever read a book in her life. Cassie remembers how her mama struggled. Remembers all four of us crammed in that stinky one-bedroom apartment. - The one with the all them red ants. - And that creepy neighbor. He was a pervert. Registered and everything. I looked him up. L"m just trying to protect her. She"s my baby girl. Can I get some help over here, y"all? Hello? Miss Bacha, you"re gonna have to hold on. L"ve got a situation here. Why are you arguing with me, anyway? - I didn"t say nothing, Bobbi. - But you"re thinking it. The way your first marriage ended, I don"t know how you can be like that. - Like what? - So damn trusting. Because I know you. I know what"s in here. Hello? L"m looking for Maser. Tim Maser with an "M." Parking tickets. You got to wait. Breaking and entering, theft, murder, anything. - So make her parking tickets go away. - Jenny! This man thinks he"s going to marry my daughter. - Cassie? - Yes. All right, everyone, you heard the woman. Chop, chop. - We got to dig up some dirt on this guy. - Maser, Tim. L"ll help you. I think my husband is cheating on me. Honey, he"s not the first man to double dip. You sure we haven"t met? Lt"s just a feeling. Probably all in my mind. - I swear I"m going crazy. - You look so familiar to me. She"s lost weight. My stomach hurts all of the time. Nerves. Honey, that"s not nerves. That"s intuition. And that"s a blessing. Do you know when women suspect their husband of cheating... they"re right 85% of the time? Men are only right 50%. Oh, my God! Lt"s the Lucky at League City. - No. - No? - How do I know if my husband is cheating? - The wife"s the last to know. The co-workers know, the mailman knows, the dog knows. But not the wife, because it could be right there... underneath your pretty little nose, but you don"t wanna see it. Signs of cheating. Number one: Changes in personal appearance. Is hubby working out? Shopping at The Gap? Suddenly strutting around like Mr. Sexy? Changes in phone habits. Sneaking off to make calls. Hiding the bills. Computer obsession. Ask yourself, honestly, is hubby spending every waking moment... logged on, so to speak? Hi, honey. Sexual changes. From complete lack of interest to the bastard wanting sex now. New positions. Role-playing. Foreplay with condiments. It"s really not funny. And my personal favorite is blaming the wife. Pointing out all your little faults. Leaving you to feel like you're the one with the problem. Do you just back into things and not look where you"re going? Look at that. That"s a serious... You know how much that"s gonna cost? - Maybe you"d be better off in a Chevy. - David, I work hard for my car. A Mercedes was the first thing that let me know that I accomplished something. I love my Mercedes. You should hire Bobbi, too. Get some great stuff on Mike. You"ll need it when your custody fight gets ugly. I don"t want to fight with him anymore. I want to be boring for a while. - I want to live a modest, uneventful life. - What? I met somebody. Does this woman look familiar to you? No. And then he took me to a show. Can you believe it? And this has been going on for months? Yeah. I couldn"t tell you because... - he"s married. - He"s married? But he hasn"t been in love with his wife for a long time. I mean, he"s only staying with her because of the kids. They have kids? Well, three, but one of them is from his first wife. He says he loves me, Pam. L"m human. Okay? Lt"s okay to be human. You won"t win this one, Lisa. - Hey, Boo Boo. - Hi. - I don"t believe it. Not him. - It"s true. And it"s poisoning the entire office. L"m telling you, after a day of watching them, I go home physically sick. You"ve seen the way she bends to pick up a pencil at the waist instead of the knees... like any decent woman. - He has lost weight. - He"s drinking Slim-Fast for lunch. Slim-Fast? Really? - Does she know? - No. And I"m not gonna tell her. David Harris, last person I ever thought would cheat on his wife. Yeah. Hey, Boo Boo. Why don"t you come in and keep me company? You know, you could afford liposuction, Dad. God, I can"t believe you use this stuff. It makes you look all orange. I listened to this music when I was 12. I know you"re sleeping with Lisa, Daddy. Kiddo, you don"t buy into that office gossip? Not my smart girl. Dad, admit it. Would you please just admit it? I taught you about loyalty. I fought tooth and nail with your mother for your custody. Me. Good old Dad. And I am not the kind of man who would hurt my family. Now, I am disappointed in you for even thinking it. L"m hurting. Oh, my God. Daddy, you"re lying. Lying right to my face! Oh, my God! - Keep your voice down. - How could you cheat, Daddy? How could you cheat on Clara? Get out of my house. Clara, honey, patients are waiting. You know, Lisa hasn"t shown up in four days. I guess whatever she has is contagious. - How"s David? - Fine. - Are you okay? - Why wouldn"t I be? I fixed the scratch. The Mercedes the other day, I fixed the scratch... but now there"s a rattle. Driving to work this morning, it was rattle, rattle, rattle. L"m sorry. It"s all my fault. Of course it is, you son of a bitch. I mean, do you love her? - Do you love me? - I want to come home. Clara, please. L"ll do anything. Clara, look at me. Do you hear that? That rattle? Will you take it in? I can take it in this weekend. Fine. L"ll have dinner ready in an hour. Spaghetti. - The casserole is in the oven. - Let"s brown it. Do you want a picture of him, Bobbi? Let"s just sneak on up here and get a little peek at him. Get your camera ready. That"s him? Danny Caine, Mr. Hidden Agenda? That"s Pam Caine"s husband? That guy hired us six months ago. We"re in it now, so we might as well go for it. L"m going to nail this deadbeat. Baby, thanks for letting me come home. Clara told us everything. So when Clara called, your mother and I knew what we had to do. You are our son. Clara is our daughter. - We"ll get through this together. - It"s over with that woman. - Of course it"s over. - Isn"t it, David? You married a beauty queen, David. Miss Colombia Houston. You married up, Son. Everyone knows you married up. My son has committed a terrible sin... against you, Clara, and you, Amy. Against those innocent little boys. Against his own mother and father. And against the Lord, our God. If God can forgive us... then we should forgive the mistakes of our loved ones. And it was a mistake, David. A thoughtless, self-centered mistake... of a weak man. You can do better, Son. We all know you can do better. I forgive you. She forgives you, Son. Clara forgives you. And I forgive you. - Thank you again for supper, Clara. - It was lovely. I think those Colombian meatballs are my favorite. First thing tomorrow, you have to fire that home wrecker. - You haven"t fired her yet? - This isn"t Lisa"s fault. - She has three children and no way... - Daddy. Please. It"s dark. You forgot to turn on my nightlight. Look at this boy. March right down there. Yes! - Buddy. - Come here, honey. Thank you for coming. David, I"ll do it. L"ll fire Lisa. Good night. Come on, big guy. And five, six, seven, eight. Step, two. Step, kick. Step down and shoulder. Together. Step one, two, three, four, five, six. And step up and one, two. One, two, three, four, and shimmy shake. And step. All right, girls, that"s it. Five, six, seven, eight. One, two, hip up. Tap one, two. And shimmy shake. Shimmy shake. That"s it. And work it, girl. Are you coming, Boo Boo? I changed my mind. I don"t want to be an orthodontist. It"s gross. Could you join me in my office, please? - She made her bed, so to speak. - You want to get fired? What? By him? He couldn"t fire me if he tried. Clara owns 51% of the business. She pays his salary. She may let him strut around like boss man, but make no mistake... without his wife, David Harris is a big, fat zero. Sorry. "I have sinned against you... "and I have done what you would consider evil." "So you are right in judging me... "you are justified in condemning me." "I have been evil from the day I was born." "From the time I was conceived..." "I have been sinful." "Wash away all my sin and I will be clean." The word of our Lord. "Sincerity and truth are what you require... "fill my mind with your wisdom." - I got them. - Thank you. Nice to see you, ladies. L"ll give you a call. Clara, God"s grace is with you. - Kiss the children for me. - I will. Son, don"t you worry. The Lord forgives everybody eventually. Thank you for saying that. I made dinner reservations for tonight. Just the two of us. Same place we got married. Where? David, at the Bayview. I like this music. You"ve really impressed me, David... the way you"ve handled this like a man. Pastor Paul says, as long as you"re completely honest... we can survive this. He says that it is your job to answer the tough questions. You owe it to me, to the marriage, to confess everything. - Pastor Paul... - This is where we did it. Can you believe I brought her here? The same place we were married? Pastor Paul says we should confess our sins. Let the confessing begin. Make a list, will you, honey? Cheated on Clara. Cheated on Lisa. Here. Clara: Controlling. Go ahead. Lisa: She likes for me to make the decisions. Let"s see. Clara spends too much money. Lisa"s broke, but she"s not afraid to ask for help. She likes for a man to take care of her. Lisa is tiny, or petite. Clara is a big... - thick person. - Fat. You had a great body when we were married. You just got to work out a little. Clara has pretty eyes. Well, they are. They"re beautiful, honey. They are. Lisa, her body"s fit. Lisa"s body fits perfectly next to my body when we sleep. You hold her? All night long. You never hold me like that, David. Never. Right now, you"re old news. You"re the same face Pete"s woken up next to for 12 years. What"s wrong with my face? - Nothing. - Crow"s feet. I had my eyes done when Jim went through his phase. A little liposuction. A little breast enlargement. You don"t want to pay less than $5,000, believe me, or you"ll look like it. So I should mutilate my body to make my husband happy? - No. - Yes. Women are stronger than men. You suck it up, Joan. Do what you have to. You"re in a life-and-death fight for your family. You don"t have the luxury of pride. This may come in handy. Good luck. It"s the baton twirler. I can"t prove it yet, but your husband"s shacking up with the baton twirler. - It can"t be. She"s my friend. - I know, sweetie. We met her and her husband. - What is it? - Danny and I... we met Shannon in Lamaze class. - It"s okay. - What am I gonna do? You are gonna lay in bed and you"re gonna cry your little eyes out. Then you"re gonna get up... you"re gonna put on a smile and go find those babies. And you"re gonna tell them, "Mama"s here and everything is fine and dandy." But he"s already filed for divorce. He wants the house, the cars. He thinks I"m having an affair with a woman. - I have never cheated on my husband. - I know that. - But he"ll win anyway? - No, he won"t. - He"ll take my kids. - I won"t let him. - L"ll fight with you as long as it takes. - It is too late. He has pictures. Oh, my. Who would take pictures like that? We took those pictures, Jesse. We"re knee-deep into this. Let me see that camera. Hurry up. - Jesse, what"s the matter with you? - L"m sorry. Sorry doesn"t cut it. Not for Pam Caine. Hand me the binoculars. Jesse, you never get over something like this. Never. Go see if the camera"s broken. Mr. Rodriguez has had this appointment for weeks. Sheila, I did it. I was selfish. I was self-involved. I practically invited that woman into my house. You can"t abandon them. They don"t have any money. I did this and I"m gonna do something about it because I have a list. Clara, please. If you quit, where were they going to go? L"m gonna win my husband back. - Hi, Miss... - Not now. - Clara, what are you doing? - Old lady"s clothing. Boring! You wanna go shopping? Isn"t this great? You know, this doesn"t look very comfortable. They are. It"s like you"re wearing nothing. Only thing worse than being lied to and cheated on... is what you're reduced to. What makes you sick to your stomach is your own demoralizing behavior. The paranoia, the obsessing, the dirtiness of it all... is enough to make you crazy. It will make you damn crazy. The liposuction will only remove 4 to 5 pounds... but the difference will seem much more dramatic. What about my breasts? Can you make them look fuller? Sure. L"ve been thinking... you know, about you and Daddy. You know, you guys love each other so much. Amy, not now, okay? Daddy"s going to be home any minute. Maybe I can help, you know. You just need to communicate. See this book? It talks about all the different stages of forgiveness. - You know, they say that"s very important. - Thank you, sweetie. Daddy"s home. How do I look? You look great. Thank you. Do you like it? Yeah. I got some strawberries. Do you want me to say things? Dirty things? Is that what you want? How does she touch you? Does she touch you like this? Does she let you, you know... - Would you like me to try that? - Don"t talk, Clara. I will try it for you, David. It might excite me. You excite me, David. See how we fit? I can hold you all night, David. - I hate it, Clara. - I love it. - Oh, my gosh, y"all! Lt"s beautiful. - Wait. Hold that up higher, honey. - Got it. - Thanks, Mama. I love it. - You"re welcome. - I told her it"s from both of us. - Oh, my. - You need some scissors? No, I"ll get them. You hate all men! - Cassie, honey. - Did you find anything, Mama? Did you find a tiny scrap of garbage to help make you feel better? Cassie, honey, I was gonna tell you that he checked out. - You know your mama. - Are you sure about that? I mean, maybe she missed something. Maybe she didn"t dig deep enough. Because there"s no way that Tim could love me for the rest of my life. - Cassie, honey, listen... - No. There"s no way that being married... could be the best thing that ever happens to me. And you know what, Mama, I"m going to be happy... even if it kills you. Papa dead! Papa"s broken. Okay, here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, here we go. No. J.T. Harris, ladies and gentlemen. The pressure"s on, sir, for you to be defending champion. - Do you have any comment whatsoever? - No. No, he doesn"t have any comment! He doesn"t have anything to say. You, sir, do you have anything to say on your brother"s desire to speak to me? - You did it! - No! See, with cheating comes lying. And lying and lying some more. Every single lie out of your mouth does a little more damage to you. Lunch. Until one day you wake up, and you don't know who you are anymore. Listen, I made dinner plans tonight... with Lisa. It"s no big deal. We"re just gonna go to Perry"s. I have to set some things right with her. "Make amends," like Pastor Paul said. It"s only dinner, Clara. I promise. You understand, don"t you? Yes. I love you. What? I think my husband is cheating on me. L"m sorry to hear that, honey. With our receptionist. Ex-receptionist. Lisa. What was her real name, Amy? Rebecca Singer. - He"s taking her out to dinner tonight. - Perry"s Steakhouse. Yeah. Perry"s cuts their pork chops extra thick... just the way that David likes it. I thought that maybe you could go there and spy on him. Listen in on his conversation. He said it was a friendly dinner. No way. Not a chance. Tell them, Bobbi. - Let"s not jump to any conclusions. - What? Do you have a picture of the receptionist? No, but she has blonde hair, like Clara. Like Mom"s. Yeah, well, she"s thinner than me... and she"s prettier. Is this your daughter? She"s so pretty. Yeah. That"s my oldest daughter, Cassie. She"s getting married. A wedding. You must be so excited. Yeah. We are. We really are. Now, how long has this scumbag been sneaking around? We"ve known about it for a couple of weeks. Clara can"t sleep, she can"t eat. L"m worried about you, Mom. We"ll get even for y"all. Won"t we, Bobbi? We"ll nail that lying, cheating bastard to the wall. We"ll rake him over the coals. And when we"re done with David Harris... he"ll wish he never stepped foot outside your bedroom door. - Do you love him, Clara? - What"s love got to do with anything? Do you really love him? He"s my family. I just want my family back. Then go home. Go home and close your eyes. This will all play itself out. But, Bobbi... There"s nothing I can find out that"s gonna make you feel better. Knowing the truth will only hurt. And hurt and hurt some more. You"ll end up back where you are... which is still in love with the man you married. Go home. I can"t. Get some rest now, Clara, okay? L"ll call you first thing in the morning with my report. - Can"t you call me tonight? - Okay, tonight after the dinner. Amy, you take her home. Stay there until you hear from me. - No, I"ll call you. - No, Clara, you won"t. No communication with me when I"m on the job. No interference of any kind, or we back off the investigation entirely. It"s for our own protection. Catching somebody in the act of cheating... - Well, things can get complicated. - We understand. - Thank you. - Go home. - Thank you so much. - You"re welcome. It"s not that simple, Jesse. When you love somebody, it"s just not that simple. Well, I"m gonna go and get the new camera. You know, I don"t need you tonight. I need my husband. Lucas, I need your help. - What? - Nothing. I love you. Here he comes. Are you ready? Could all this be just one big coincidence, Lucas? Danny Caine hires me to follow Pam Caine. He brings along Mike Singer. And then Pam Caine hires me to follow Danny Caine... and she brings along Lisa Singer. Only, Lisa isn"t my client. And I don"t make the connection because of the whole C-A-l-N-E, K-A-N-E thing. And then, finally, Clara Harris hires me to follow David Harris... who"s cheating with none other than Lisa Singer. Maybe it is just one big coincidence. I just don"t know anymore. Don"t know, darling. No, remember what Bobbi said. No interference. I have to find them, Amy. No, wait, Mom. Wait till Bobbi calls. Please! Well, we know he ain"t going to Perry"s Steakhouse. I can"t get it to work. I can"t hear a thing. - Are they still talking? - Yeah. It"s going to work out for us. We"re going to be together, Lisa. L"ve got it all arranged so Clara won"t have to know. That"s it? That"s your big announcement? That"s what you wanted to tell me? Well, what did you expect? For me to say I"d leave Clara for you? Yeah. I did. I just did. Sleep with me. Just tonight. L"m afraid to go home. Is she smiling or... Have you seen what I"ve turned her into? My daughter. My brilliant, talented, grown-up daughter hates me. No, she"s ashamed of me. I have six dental practices. I employ 50 people. I put bread on their tables. I work seven days a week... to build something my mom and dad could be proud of. Now it"s meaningless. Overshadowed, negated by David"s mortal sin. - Maybe I should go. - You have to understand. When I first met Clara, I never imagined I would ever... Back then, her accent was so strong, she"d say, "David." That was the only thing she"d say that I could understand. But still she"d talk and she"d talk... and I"d watch her. I could watch her forever. I used to look at her... and think I had more respect for this woman than anyone I have ever known. Have you seen what I"ve turned her into? So it would be easier to be with me? I love you. I love you, Lisa. - Might as well dance. - I suppose. Bobbi, where is he? Where is David? Clara, you know I can"t tell you that. Clara, I want you to go home and wait for me to call you. Thank you. - That"s not good. - It"s not good. - Let"s go out to the car. - Yep, let"s go. Save me. Daddy! You bitch! He"s my husband! Stop it! - No! - He"s my husband! You bitch! Let her go! Stop it! Clara, stop it! I hate you, Daddy! - Help him! - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! There they are. Today in Houston, 44-year-old Clara Harris was arraigned on murder charges... of her husband, David Harris. New testimony will be provided by Harris' 17-year-old stepdaughter, Amy. ... first-degree murder, which could result in a sentence... Such a nice couple. We really thought they"d make it. I thought so. We prayed for them. Why did all of America become so obsessed with the Clara Harris story? Because it happened to a middle-class, dual-income, respectable family. Because it happened in the suburbs, where good people like you and me live. Because if a sickness can grow inside the Harris family... are any of us really immune? We all know... Clara received the maximum sentence: 20 years in prison. David's own parents forgave Clara. They begged the judge for leniency. The woman prosecutor used this argument to convict: Why didn't Clara Harris do what every other woman in her situation does? Take her husband to the cleaners. Divorce David? Take him to the cleaners? I'm sorry, but that woman missed the boat entirely. Clara didn't want a divorce. Clara Harris was in a life-and-death fight for her family. Her survival instincts kicked in. I want you to ask yourself: Would you kill to save your family? Oh, my! You ready? Cassie, what is it? I can"t do this. I can"t do it. We"ll be there in five minutes. How does she look? Terrible, Mom. She's really upset. - She's called it off. - I don"t understand. What did she expect? Well, you done now? Are you about finished? "Cause, you know, I never bought this whole cynic thing right from the start. None of this whole "Marriage is a sham, you"re better off alone" thing. I don"t buy it. Never did. Not for one minute. But I"ll tell you who does. Your daughter. The whole world knows you"ve been cheated on... by just about everybody you ever believed in. I get it. We all get it. You can stop sleeping with one eye open right now... because I am not going anywhere. L"m right here. I know. Sweetheart, I"m right here. That dress has been hanging in my closet for 20 years. Every couple of years when I clean my closet out, I think: "What the hell am I saving this thing for?" What should I do? I don"t know what you want me to do. - I don"t know what to do! - Cassie. Honey, listen to me. You can pack up your heart, and go home, and be your mama"s daughter... or you can close your eyes and just jump right in. Just jump in. I know, but I"m scared. L"m so scared. Oh, sweetie. You know what, baby, you might just get it all. You just might get it all. I love you, Mama. I love you so much, Cassie. Let"s get you dressed. "And they cheered and they cheered more and more. "They"d never seen anything like it before. ""My goodness, my gracious," they shouted. ""My word! Lt"s something brand-new. ""Lt"s an elephant bird." "And it should be, it should be... "it should be like that, because Horton was faithful. "He sat and he sat. "He meant what he said and he said what he meant. "And they sent him home happy..." "One hundred percent." So, the sun was shining, the earth was turning... and my daughter walked into the rest of her life with open arms. And it finally hit me: Maybe Cassie has it right. Wouldn't it be something if my daughter has it right? Bye, sweetie, we love you! Bye-bye, darling. Who are you? Jesus. You okay? Do I look okay? If you were any thinner, you wouldn't exist. No... Trevor... You still got half an hour. I can fix you some eggs. I'm tired but thanks. Let's go, monkeys. Watch your work, not your ass. Come on guys, keep it moving. Yes sir, yes sir, Master Tucker, motherfucker Hey, why is that machine down? - I am cleaning this. - It takes 7 minutes to power up that mill. Where am I going to make up that 7 minutes, Miller? Your paycheck? - Back off Tucker, you don't sketch regulations. - What regulations? Lock out devices must be in place during cleaning and maintenance of all heavy machinery. Ocean, 1989. Yeah? Write to your congressman and hurry that up. Congratulations, Reznik. You just made my shitlist. She copping his joint, right? And he's tellin' her, you know, baby this, baby that... Chatting her up like mother fucking Barry White. Talking about what he going to do to her, and how he going to make her coochy feel and all that. That's right. So then, she stopped She looked up at him with these big old puppy eyes she's like... That sounds good pappy, but me no have no coochy. So, my man's like "Say what? !" He looked down and realised that she is a he! Man, that's bullshit! You mean to tell me that the whore was wearing nothing but a thong and this fool can't tell no difference? Hey, man. he had one of them "tuck jobs". Come on Jones, you know how they do that. You might, I don't! Yeah, whatever. You Reznik, you wanna go for some cards tonight? Can't, got plans. Shit! See, this nigger say the same thing every poker night. Hey, what's up with you? You used to be alright. Well, he used to hang but he ain't never been alright. You need to realise, Jackson, that some men prefer the company of women. Who! Howdy duty, he don't get no booty. Maybe he has got a date by the name "tuck jobs". No, your mother said she couldn't make it. Oh! Reznik talking smack, I can't even respond to that. You okay? Do I look okay? If you were any thinner, you wouldn't exist. What's wrong? I don't know, déjà vu. You are tired, you need to sleep. How do you do it? What? Sleep so little and still look so good. Are you flirting with me? Commiserating. - Try to fatten me up? - What if I am? Suppose I wanted blueberry. You had that last night. You don't fool me, Trevor Reznik. I have you figured out. You do, huh? What else do you know about me? That you are lonely. When you work graveyard as long as I have, you get to know the type. Hey, everyone gets lonely, Trevor. It is nothing to be ashamed of. How can I be lonely, when I have you to keep me company? Check, please. Yo, Reznik, Furman's office. Now! How are you doing, Reznik? What's this about? Frankly I am concerned about you. To be honest, I think you look like toasted shit. I've had a lot on my mind lately. - Anything we can help with? - No, thanks. There's nothing I can't handle. - Wanna see the doctor? - It is not necessary, I'm fine really. Are you doing drugs, Reznik? Where is the shop steward? He couldn't make it - Shouldn't even be in here without a union. - See what I mean. Look, Trevor, I understand how you feel, believe me, but there's absolutely nothing to worry about. Then I'll just get back to work. Trevor, not yet. I need to ask you for a UA. Look like rain. Radio says there's a storm on the way. They said right. I'd say it's already here. You are on the first shift? - Yeah. - Me too. Funny, I never seen you before. I've been here. I work in the pit. I just picked up Reynolds' shift. Where's Reynolds? Feds picked him up. On warrant. I'm Ivan. Trevor. Well, I guess I'd better begin by... I hear that Tucker guy can be a real prick. You got that right. I'll see you around. What's wrong? I just want to lie here. We can do that. I'm so tired. You can fall asleep if you want, off the meter. That is the problem. I can't sleep. Nothing helps. Don't worry about it honey. Everyone get insomnia, now and then. Stevie. I haven't slept in a year. Jesus Christ! I tried him too... Sorry. Hello? Yeah. No I can't. I can't talk now. Okay. My ex, he's a fucking Psycho. Trevor, I'm worried about you. Don't worry, no one ever died of insomnia. I hope not, you are my best client. Can't afford to lose ya. Gee, thanks. Reznik, I need a hand. Gotta get this dead level here, help me out. - Safety on? - Oh, yeah. How's that? No, still off. Is that any better? Hey, do your sleeping on your own time. I need some help here. Better. It's now level. Try the other side. I hate this bitch. Hey! what did you do? I am hooked up here. Kill it, will ya? - Come on, kill it. - It's not working. Goddamn it! Reznik! Shit! - Kill it! - It's not working! God! Jesus! - Hit the breaker! - What? Hit the breaker! Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey! We some help over here! We need some help! Over here. - Come on man, come on. - What's happening here, man? Call an ambulance! What happened here? I was helping him level the belt. I thought the safety was on. You thought? ! Somebody kill that fucking machine! Shit! Hello, Mrs. Shrike. I've come to pay rent. And so early. Oh, Mr Reznik, I only wish all my tenants are considerate as you. I will give you a receipt in the morning Good night, Mr. Reznik. Mrs. Shrike, Forgive me, but... Have you noticed anyone hanging around my apartment? Has there been a burglary? No, no, no, nothing like that. I just wondered if... You know, if... you noticed anything unusual lately? Unusual? Ah, never mind, Mrs. Shrike. I am sorry to disturb you so late. Good night. What we know is this: One: Miller was operating the mill in long sleeves. Two: Miller's arm was in the cutting zone of mill while it was off. Three: the mill suddenly activates, catching Miller's sleeve, resulting in this. What's the fucking point? These accidents are never pretty, Mr. Reznik. Our job is to investigate these events from every possible angle... So that we might prevent their recurrence. So we'd appreciate it if you would be a bit more co-operative. I knocked into the fucking activator by mistake. What caused the mistake, Mr. Reznik? I was distracted. By what? What distracted you? It was Ivan, I was watching Ivan on the pit. The whole thing is my fault, okay. Who did you say? The new arc welder, I don't know his last name. - What new arc welder? - Ivan, the guy from the swing shift. Reynolds was picked up on a warrant. This guy took his place. What the fuck are you talking about, Reznik? Reynolds is right over there on the pit as usual, busting his ass. There is no Ivan in National Machine, Reznik. What is this? Mr. Reznik, have you recently suffered any head injuries? Ever hear of pumpkin pie? No. - Trevor. - Yeah. - Can I ask you a question? - Sure. Why do you go out of your way to come here every night? Is it out of the way? An airport? For coffee and pie? Suppose I went to Danni's... Suddenly I get an overwhelming urge to skip town. Could I do that just in any diner? Is someone chasing you? Not yet. But they will when they find out who I am. Oh really! Who are you? Can you keep a secret? To the grave. I'm Elvis Presley. I ran away from home to pursue my blue-collar aspirations. I thought you looked familiar. Got plans for mother's day? I am taking my little boy to the amusement park. It's supposed to be my day and he gets all the fun. That's okay, when he's older, I'll let him make it up to me. A little guilt goes a long way. How about you? Cemetery. - Oh, I'm sorry. - Thanks. I lost mine too. Still hurts. I am not so good at losing family. Who is? What's weird is that it didn't hit until I picked out her burial dress. I pictured her while buying it... Not knowing it would... You know, be the one. Seems unfair, doesn't it? Not knowing things like that. Hey, how about spending the day with me and Nicolas after the cemetery? Sounds dreamy. Hey Reynolds, what did the Feds want you for? Armed robbery. Oh yeah, that's right, because me and Jackson had you pegged as a paedophile. Ain't that right, Jackson? Shit, probably guilty of that too. Hey, I don't see what's so fucking funny. Y'all clowning this motherfucker like it's some big joke. Well it ain't! Personally, I don't feel too comfortable working with you. You made me nervous. You look like shit, acting all crazy. What's up with you? Nothing is up with me. It was an accident and I am the one who gotta live with it, not you. You ain't hearing me, man. Nobody wants you here. Nobody. See you tomorrow. Hey! Hey! Howdy, partner. You gotta go back to the shop. Tucker needs to see you. - What about? - I don't know, but it seemed important. Well, he's gonna have to wait. It's Miller time. We need to talk. Follow me. Come on! Another Bourbon. Make it double. You shooting coke or something? You look like a dope fiend to me. No offence. I don't use drugs. I mean I don't even drink. How about abnormally? I see Reynolds is back to work. Gets to make bail. I'll tell you one thing. Whatever he did, you sure ain't copping to it. Would you? Never trust a con, cowboy! They ain't get through life being honest. Where they hiding you these days? Around. Hey, you wanna see something? Look at that. Lost them on a lady. Yeah, they took the big toe from the left foot and a pinky from my right. That is why I walk with a gimp. Yeah, I can't shuffle cards like I used to but the ladies sure like it. Oh, no. You look like you have seen a ghost. Funny you should say that. The guys from work don't think you exist. - That is why I can't get a raise. - According to Tucker, you are not even on the payroll. You believe that? - Why would they lie? - They're just having a little bit of fun with you. I'm not laughing. Quit fucking around, a guy lost his arm. He could have died. That ain't my problem. You caused the accident, not me. Where're you going? Take a leak, you wanna watch? I'll be right back, don't just bail me now. Son of a bitch. - Hello? - Hey Reynolds, it's Trevor. What time is it? How are they biting, Reynolds? - You, you're drunk, Reznik. - The game's over. I got proof on you. I'm gonna use it. You better watch your fucking ass, buddy, before you lose it. Trevor? I need to see you, Stevie. - Well, Jesus, Trevor, I am not exactly alone here. - Please, Stevie. - I think I am falling apart. - Can you come back in an hour? No, no, no. No, no, I need to see you now. In case of something happens, I need someone to know. Okay, give me a minute. I appreciate you making time for me, you are the only one I can talk to. My pleasure. Most guys don't come here for my conversation. Something is happening to me, Stevie. Some kind of... plot. There was an accident at the shop. A man was nearly killed thanks to me. - Oh, my god! - Now the guys at work are against me. They want me out and I don't blame them. Just the way they're going about it... Their eyes, their little games. What? E R.. E R.. - T U C K E R. - Trevor? Tucker? Maybe you're taking this accident thing a bit too hard. I mean... If they wanted you out, they could just fire you. I'm not worried about being fired. Then what are you worried about? I don't know yet. There you go, made to order. - Thanks. - Surprise! Got ya! That one's going on the fridge. Here, let me get one of you and Nicolas. By the carousel. Just a minute. Okay, ready. Smile! It helps if you push the button. Trevor? What is it? - This place, brings back memories. - Good memories I hope. Yeah, I haven't been here since I was a kid. My ex, probably phone to ruin a happy Mother's Day. Could you...? Yes, no sweat. I'll take Nicolas for a ride. Thanks. Hi. How long have you known my mother? About a year. How did you meet her? We just kind of met. Are you going to see her again? I hope so. Would you like that? I guess so. Hey, you wanna know a secret? What? My father left us when I was your age. You wanna know something else? Made me realise what a wonderful mother I had. You will realise that too some day. What's that? Monster ride. Route six hundred and sixty six. What's that mean? Well, a route is a road you take when you're on a long journey. Can we go in? Well, Nicolas, maybe we should wait for your mother. What for? You're going straight to hell on route 666. Ride here if you dare! You're going straight to hell on route 666. Look like someone had a bad crack up. Fill her up, cowboy. We wouldn't be eating in there anytime soon, Nicolas? Eww, look at that. You should close your eyes. Jesus! - Boy, this is one heck of a ride. - Yeah. Shady Lady. Oh, my God. Stop! Whoa. Take a right, Nicolas! Take a right, a right! Nicolas! Nicolas! Hey, Nicolas! I need some help here. Okay. Somebody get a doctor! Hang on Nicolas, I'm going for help. Nicolas! I swear to God, I don't know what happened. He's epileptic. I should have told you. - I'll call an ambulance. - No, it will pass. It's okay, baby. This hasn't happened for a while. I didn't think to mention it. I could kill myself for taking him on that ride. It's okay, it's not your fault. He won't even remember it. It'll be as if nothing ever happened. Wanna come in? I think you could use a drink. I hope wine's okay with you. That'll work. What good is a home if you can't relax in it. I'll have to remember that. Trevor? Can I ask you something? Should my lawyer be present? Why are you always leaving me such generous tips? - Do I? - 20 dollars for coffee and pie? And entertainment. - Entertainment? - You. Trevor, you don't have to buy my companionship. Sorry, I... It wasn't meant that way. If you really want to spoil me, take me to a movie sometime. That's a deal. My goodness, there must be a hole in this glass. I'll get it. - You waited on me enough. - Thanks. It is the last door on the left. Reznik. I want you on the Swansea-lathe today. Where is Sanchez? That's an irrelevant question, Reznik, I'm asking you. Shit! - If there's anything else we can do for you, let us know. - Thank you, Mr Furman. - Goodbye. - See you now. Hey, look who it is. Bombay Miller, you okay? - Good, good. - You be easy now. Yeah, man, take it easy. My God, Miller. I don't know where to begin. Nah, don't sweat it, kid. There is nothing to say. I wish there was some way I could repay you. Well, for starters, you can give me your left arm. In fact, that is why I came by here today. Isn't it, Tucker? Fair is fair. We are just razzing you, kid. You keep your left arm, I will keep my settlement. Hell! I've heard these guys who'd give his arm and a leg to get a deal like this. So, I guess you can call me lucky. Well, Miller, if there is anything I can do... Nah, forget it. No hard feelings. I'll see you around, pal. Hey! Help! Hey! Hey! It's got my arm! Somebody help me! Someone help me! Reznik. I got ya, I got ya. Be cool, be cool, alright? Who did it, huh? Why didn't you turn the fucking braker! Or was it all of you? Was it you, Jones? Was it you? Was it you? Or was it you? You sick bastard, you're imagining things again! Oh yeah? You've been fishing with Ivan lately, Reynolds? How's that... How's that tuna biting? Let me see you talking your way out of this one! Where is it? Christ! What the fuck now, Reznik? Get him off me! You're through, you fuck! Pick up your shit and get the fuck out of here. You're fired. This motherfucker's crazy. You lost it, man. Shit! Damn it! Where is it? Asshole! What the fuck did you do with it? Idiot! Hey! Fuck you! Get out! What? It's an occupational hazard. So, Trevor, are you gonna rescue me from this miserable life or what? I could give it up for the right guy. Oh, that came out wrong. What I mean is... I would, you know, stop hooking if you wanted me to. I mean, there is lots of pans with pancakes out there, right? I think I'd like that. Mr. Reznik. I am sorry, I thought it was somebody else. You gave me such a scare. What are you doing in my apartment? There is a leak in my ceiling. It's coming from your apartment. That's impossible. I was going to leave a note. A note? What kind of note? About the leak. What's that terrible smell? There's no leak in this apartment. Now if you will excuse me... - You're sure you're alright, Mr. Reznik? - Yeah, I'm sure. If you need anything, please call first. Miller. Miller! Hey, Reznik. It's a pleasant surprise. We need to talk. Take a look at this, huh? Picked it up at Grossens, top of the line. Hey, let's not trim anything for a while. I need to be doing something. Can't go watching soap operas all day. That hydro will be here tomorrow. You won't. Listen to the doctor. Margie, this is Reznik. The man who cost me my arm. How do you do, Mrs. Miller? I've been better, Mr. Reznik. Is there some place we can talk? Check it out. It's a beauty. 8 cylinders. MagnoSphere. Speed sensitive steering. ABS breaking with road texture and tension. Defence lock-up helps you maintain control in emergencies. Of course, it's an automatic. Hell I wanted a stick... but I figured my shifting abilities wouldn't be so hot. You know I am not at National any more, right? Yeah, I heard about it. It sounds like you almost lost one yourself, huh? Did you find that a bit ironic, Miller? Ironic? I'm sorry kid, I never got over sixth grade. I'll break it down for you, Miller. Moments after you left the shop, someone powered up my machine. With my arm in it. I nearly got killed. Accidents happen. It wasn't an accident. Accidents happen out of negligence. This happened out of spite. Hell, that's some vocabulary you got, kid. Spite. Ill will, vengeance. Vengeance means revenge, Miller. I'm sure you know what revenge means, don't you? I'm onto you Miller. Despite your stupid jokes, you secretly blame me for the accident. New car, or not, you despise me for it. How did you get into my place? Duplicate keys? Credit card? What? Fuck you, Miller! This shit's gonna stop! Get off my property, punk! Bastards. Shit. Come on. Come on. Come on. 7-4... 3-C-R-N. 743CRN. What? Shit. Fuck! I'm sorry sir, but we don't provide... motorist information to the general public. I'm not just a member of the general public. This guy is a friend of mine. But you don't know your friend's address? We just met, I don't know him that well. Sir, this is the DMV, not the dating service. I just want talk to him. I'm sorry sir, I can't help you unless a crime has been committed. Has a crime been committed? Please, I wouldn't ask if it weren't extremely important. Sorry sir. No crime, no information. What if I told you I was hit by this car? I don't see any bruises. If you did, would you give me an address? No, but the police might. What is it, sweetie? Tired, huh? You wanna go take a nap? I want to report a hit and run. Bring it back when you're finished. Fill it out over there. Mr. Reznik. You sure about these plate numbers? 743CRN. All right, that's the one. Do you ever have a car stolen? No, why? Cause the car that allegedly hit you was your own. 1969, red Pontiac Viper registered to your name. Nearly a year ago you reported it as being totalled in a wreck. Do you realise it's a felony to file a bogus police report? Hey, wait a minute. You got some explaining to do. Hey! Hey! Hey! - Hey! Hey! - Hey! Hey! Hey! Jesus, Reznik. Just wanna talk to you. Hey come back. Reznik, Reznik! Reznik! Trevor? Oh, no. Trevor, what happened? Trevor, it's okay. Oh God, what happened? I was crossing the street. Lights changed on me. Did he stop? No, he just kept going. He fucking hit 'n run drivers man. He gotta be hanged. It was my fault. I wasn't paying attention. Trevor, I gotta get you to a hospital. You may have some internal injuries. It's just bruises. Okay, you see this? This is a bruise, and this is a train wreck, alright? What is it with you and doctors? Don't you trust anyone? I trust you. Now I know you're crazy. Can I stay here tonight? Baby, you can stay here every night. You know that? What? What, babe, what's going on in that crazy head of yours? I really want this to work, Stevie. But? You know so little about me. What if I turned into a werewolf or something? I'll buy you a flea collar. I love you. - Stevie? - Yeah. Thanks. I set out some clean clothes for you, your stuff is not dry yet. You always keep men's clothes lying around? Some of my regulars. They like to keep a clean change clothes here. I'll probably just throw them out now though, right? Hey, perfect fit. Yeah, well, Trevor... I don't have a size 26 waist here. Hey, how about that idea. I can get a job selling man's wear. Those chicks got paid vacations too. I'll settle for that. That's not a bad life. Could be worse. You know what else I want to do? I want to clean up this place, just get rid of all the fucking junk. Probably look like I'm a terrible housekeeper, which I sometimes am... but I can also be very very, you know, organised and neat. And I wanna do more of that. I would love to paint a place. Just make it nice, just be organised, and neat and paint it white. And also I'd like us a decent stove. This one is covered in fat. It'd be nice to have like a white, beautiful place and a decent stove. It's not a lot to ask. Wow, don't look so surprised. Even a call girl can scramble an egg. You know what's funny? I don't think I ever cooked for a guy before. I mean not even my husband. Jesus Christ. Where is he? Who? You know who. - Trevor. - Don't. Jesus, Trevor, what's wrong? This, Ivan. He's your ex, isn't he? What? Why is he doing this? It's because I'm fucking you, isn't it? Now it all makes sense. I'm fucking you, so he's fucking me. Where is he? Hiding in the closet, beneath the bed? I don't know what you are talking about, baby. Ah, don't baby me. Yeah, baby. I'll change my whole fucking life for you. I'll do anything you want, baby. You know what, I don't deserve this. What did you do? Hey! Slip this from my wallet from me while proposing to me? Fuck you! You left it in my tip jar the other night. Bullshit. - I thought you wanted me to have it. I... - Cut the crap, Stevie. - What is a big deal about a goddamn picture? - They say that the guy in the photo doesn't exist. This says he does. Trevor, Trevor, I don't understand what the fuck you are talking about. I'm talking about your ex! Ivan. - Who? This guy standing next to you with a fish? - I'm not in that photo. Trevor, I'm looking at a picture of you. You're standing next to some fat guy with glasses holding a fish. That's not me. Trevor, it's you. Look. You lying whore. You get the fuck out. Fucking freak. You play that fucking well! You fucking whore! You fucking freak. Now I know why you're afraid of doctors. 'Cause you're a fucking psycho! My ex... Fucking psycho. - Hello. - Hey, baby. Fucking psycho. Fucking psycho. Fucking psycho. Fucking psycho. Fucking psycho. Where's Marie? Who? You know who. Marie is my waitress. My! You're chatty tonight. Darling, I'm your waitress! What's going on here? I've never seen you before. What are you talking about? You come in here every night, sitting on that same stool, staring at your coffee. To be honest, I was starting to think that you were a mute. I wanna see Maria! Mister, there's no Maria that works here. Is everybody in it? Let's have a laugh on Trevor. Whatever Ivan was paying you, he's wasting his money. Go home, Mister. Get some sleep. Don't forget your post-its. Christ, Stevie. How could you! Nicholas? You'll have to pay your utility bills, partner. You know how difficult it is shaving' in the dark. What have you done with Nicholas? What have I done with Nicholas? He can't hear you now, pal. Oh, come on. You know he's dead. Yeah. You ought to do something with that faulty memory of yours, pal. Might make your life a little bit easier. By the way, I just love them little notes you leave for yourself. That one on the refrigerator just kills me. Where is your hospitality, partner? If someone walks in, he might get the wrong idea. Who are you? Well, looks like you got some explaining to do, partner. I know who you are. I know who you are. I know who you are. I know who you are. You going somewhere, Mr. Reznik? Yeah, Mrs. shrike, I'm moving. I didn't receive notice. Your lease requires you to give 30 days notice in writing. It wasn't planned, something came up. You can keep my security deposit. I won't be needing it anyway. Really, Mr. Reznik? You used to be such a good tenant. I just don't understand it. Oh, isn't that pretty? Would you care to sell it? No, it was my mother's. I've made arrangements to donate all my things. A truck will be coming by this afternoon. If you're just going to give it away... If you'll excuse me, Mrs. Shrike. I'm in a bit of a hurry. I like to report a hit-and-run. I'm still gonna need to record your statement. Later, right now I just want to... Just want to sleep. Who are you? You okay? Don't I look okay? If you were any thinner you wouldn't exist. No! Trevor? You still got a half-hour. I could fix you some eggs. I'm tired. But thanks. Let's go, monkeys. Watch your work, not your ass. Come on, guys. Keep it moving. Yessuh, Mistah Tucker! Mutha-Fucker. Why's this machine down? Maintenance. Takes seven minutes to power-up that mill. Where am I gonna make up that seven minutes, Miller? - From your paycheck? - Back off, Tucker. You know it's against regulations. What "regulations"? Lockout devices must be in place during the cleaning and maintenance of all heavy machinery." OSHA, 1989. Yeah? Write your congressman. And hurry that up. Congratulations, Reznik. Youjust made my Shit List. She's copping his joint. He starts telling' her "baby this" and "baby that", chatting' her up like motherfuckin' Barry White. Tellin' her what he wants to do, and how he's gonna make the coochie feel and all that. - That's right. - So dig. She's stops, she looks up at him with these big puppy dog eyes and she's all: "that sounds good puppy but me no have no coochie..." And the brother's like: "Say what?" And he looks down and sees that she is really a he! Man, that's bullshit. You telling me the ho's wearing a thong and the fool can't tell the difference? She had a tuck job, man! Come on, Jonesy. You know how they do it! - You might. I don't. - Yeah, wathever... Ei, Reznik? You up for some cards tonight? Can't. Got plans. Shit. Nigga says the same damn thing every poker night. What's up with you, man? You used to be all right. He used to hang but he ain't been all right. You may not realize this, but some men prefer the company of women. Who? Howdy Doody? He don't get no booty. Maybe he's got himself a date with the Tuck Job. Nah. Your mother said she couldn't make it. Reznik talk... You okay? Don't I look okay? If you were any thinner you wouldn't exist. What's wrong? I don't know. Deja vu? You're tired. Billions of lives are at risk on Earth if our mission fails. I'm well aware of that. These Xindi are innocent. If we let them die, we'll be proving to the others that they're right about us. I don't know much about Vulcan ethics, but humans don't throw morality out the window when things start getting a little rough. Commander Tucker and Lieutenant Reed also believe that this would compromise our mission. Your opinions have been noted. Now, get back to Enterprise and start the antimatter transfer. I'm sorry, Captain, I can't obey that order. You may not be wearing a uniform, but you can still be charged with insubordination. Perhaps we should contact Starfleet and discuss this with Admiral Forrest. You're relieved as First Officer. Major... escort T'Pol back to the ship and confine her to her quarters. -Sir...? -I gave you an order. Ma'am...? Come in. The first shuttlepod's on its way. How long will it take to transfer the antimatter? Using both shuttlepods... about four or five hours. I didn't realize how badly I needed a shower. I've been spending too much time in that hatchery. If you're looking for a new First Officer, you should consider Malcolm. You're going to want someone on the bridge full-time. I'm a little busy at the moment. I'm happy with the command structure the way it is. This is only temporary. T'Pol just needed a slap on the wrist. She's question your orders lots of times, but you've nev locked her up before. You have to admit... it's a little out of the ordinary. These aren't ordinary circumstances. T'Pol refused a direct order in front of the crew. I can't have senior officers behaving like that, especially not on a mission this important. Maybe you ought to confine me to quarters, too, sir, because I'm still not sure we're doing the right thing here. If the roles were reversed, I can't imagine these Xindi would do the same for us. My great-grandfather was in North Africa during the Eugenics Wars. His battalion was evacuating civilians from a war zone when they came under attack. There was a school full of children directly between them and the enemy. If his men had returned fire, they might have hit it. So he called the commander on the other side, got him to agree to hold his fire long enough to evacuate the school. There are rules, Trip, even in war. We have to help these children. This is what you wanted to show me, A battle simulation? Scenarios like this can tell us a lot about the enemy's tactical capabilities. Much more than we'd learn from a standard analysis. I asked you to look for weaknesses in their shields, not to play more games. This isn't exactly a game, Lieutenant. The simulation found that they're vulnerable here. They've got minimal shielding around their impulse manifolds. A pair of torpedoes should be enough to take out the engines. Those manifolds are pretty narrow... but our targeting scanners should be able to get a lock. Nice work. Thank you, sir. I apologize. I overreacted. A lot of the crew's on edge lately. They certainly are. I heard things got pretty ugly down there. It's not every day I'm asked to confine a senior officer. I can't say I disagree with the Captain's decision. If one of my men disobeyed orders, I'd throw them in the stockade. Well, I've got to get back to the bridge. Let me know if your simulation finds anything else. Yes, sir. I need to see T'Pol. She's not supposed to have any visitors, sir. This isn't a social call. I'm here for my neuro-pressure treatment. Doctor's orders. You don't want me to bring Phlox down here, do you? What's our status? The antimatter's on its way. I had a talk with him. Everything's going to be all right. This whole thing'll blow over in a day or two. Our antimatter supply will be depleted by then. The captain's behavior is becoming increasingly illogical even for a human. He's preoccupied with the hatchery. He's displaying signs of paranoia. I think you're overstating things just a little. You can't allow him to use our antimatter. What do you suggest I do, start a mutiny? You have to speak with Phlox. Ask him to run a full exam on the Captain. What good would that do? If the Doctor can find something wrong, we may have medical grounds to relieve him of command. Relieve him? Look, I know you're upset about what happened, but I think you're taking this personally. How long before their reactor's brought on-line? Assuming Hoshi can translate the interface, about 12 hours. You have to delay it until we can verify the Captain's mental state. If he finds out what we're doing, we'll both end up in the Brig. You're asking me to betray him. You can't allow your personal feelings for the Captain to affect your decision. We both know that he's endangering this ship and our mission. What is it? A subspace vortex is opening off the port bow. Tactical alert. Captain Archer, report to the bridge. It's an Insectoid... three bio-signs aboard. They're firing! They're moving away at full impulse. Pursuit course. Arm phase-cannons. Disable their engines. No effect. Their main deflector's charging. They could be trying to open a vortex. Torpedoes, maximum yield. Target their impulse manifolds. Ready. Fire. What the hell's going on? An Insectoid ship, sir. You destroyed them? They were opening a vortex. They would've escaped. The crew might have been able to take care of the hatchery. Sir? We could've kept our antimatter and continued the mission. They would have told their superiors, sir, given away our position. If you'd explained to them why we were here, you might've avoided a firefight. With all due respect, they didn't seem particularly interested in talking. Archer to Major Hayes. Go ahead, Captain. Report to my ready room, on the double. Aye, sir. I'm relieving you as tactical officer. From now on, you'll report to Major Hayes. I did what was necessary to protect this ship and its mission. You'll be confined to quarters until further notice. -Captain... -Dismissed. Yes, sir. Are you done with that translation? Almost. I want you to put together a distress call in the Insectoid language. Transmit it on all frequencies as soon as you're ready. Understood. There's nothing more important than the success of this mission. -Do you agree, Major? - Of course, ser. My senior officers don't seem to understand what I'm trying to do here. I guess I have myself to blame. In the past, I've encouraged them to ask questions, but we don't have time for that now. I need officers who respect the chain of command and can follow orders. It won't be a problem, sir. I thought what happened with T'Pol might have been a isolated incident, but I'm not so sure now. Lieutenant Reed destroyed a ship that could've helped us. I'm starting to wonder if he deliberately tried to sabotage this mission. You're in command while I'm on the surface. You answer to me and me alone. is that understood, Major? Perfectly, sir. That'll be all. Can we talk to you for a minute, sir? What is it? I'd like you to go to Sick Bay with Phlox. Do I look sick to you? Hoshi says you ordered her to transmit a distress call. That's right. Don't you think that's a little dangerous? We'll be light years from here before the Xindi respond to it. We don't know how far away their ships are. If we send that message, we'll be taking a hell of a risk. We can't afford to play it safe anymore. This mission is too important. This mission is to save Earth, not an alien hatchery. Captain, you haven't eaten or slept in almost two days. You've shown signs of obsessional behavior and paranoia. If it'll make the two of you feel better, I'll go to Sick Bay for a complete physical... as soon as that reactor's on-line. That's not good enough, sir. Phlox has the authority to order you to Sick Bay. T'Pol's manipulating you, isn't she? If I'm declared unfit for duty, then she takes over. Captain, if you won't come with me, I'll be required under Starfleet Order 104, Section C, to relieve you of command. I expected something like this from her, but not from the two of you. Corporal. I've already confined two senior officers today. His neurochemistry appears normal. There's nothing wrong with him? This scan is hardly conclusive. I'll need to get him into the Imaging Chamber and run a complete neurological series. When Hoshi sends that distress call, every Xindi ship that picks it up will start heading this way. He's got Hayes on the bridge... macos posted all over the ship. Whatever we do, we're going to have to do it fast. What are you proposing, Commander? I think it's time we throw the rule book out the window. Captain. I'm sorry, sir, no visitors. You let me in before. I have new orders from Major Hayes. Look, T'Pol was a little rough with me during the last session. I think she caused some nerve damage. You'll have to speak with the Major, sir. This is a Starfleet ship. I don't have to ask Major Hayes for anything. Step away, sir. Stand down, Corporal. The captain gave Hayes control of the bridge, posted macos on every deck. Is he still on the surface? Yeah. Retrieving him and the antimatter should be a priority. I'd advise securing the bridge first. If Hayes gets wind of this, we could have a firefight on our hands. Perhaps we should approach the Major and explain the situation. He seems like a reasonable man. That'd be risky. If Hayes sides with the captain, this mutiny will be over before it begins. We'll need more people. Who's on duty in the armory? Ensign Walsh and two of my men. They'll side with us. But Hayes posted two MACO there. Take the shuttlepod back to Enterprise. What about you, sir? You heard me. Hold it. Sorry. That's going to leave a bruise. All right. Here with me. We won't get to the bridge this way. Captain! Captain, it's Trip! You shouldn't have weapons in here. Go ahead. Major, Corporal Chang's been found unconscious in T'Pol's quarters. Where's T'Pol? Not here, sir. Hayes to the Armory. Armory, respond. Stand down! You intend to shoot me, Lieutenant? Tell them to stand down. The captain relieved you of duty. Both of you. We don't want anyone injured. Put down your weapons. Until the captain says otherwise, I give the orders on this bridge. Go back to the ship. You have to come with us. Captain! Shh, it's all right. Contact the captain. Belay that. I gave you a direct order, Ensign. I'm sorry, Major. It's over, Major! Take him to his quarters. Aye, sir. It's Commander Tucker. Put him through. Go ahead. We've got the captain. What's going on up there? The bridge is secure. Tell Phlox to get the Imaging Chamber ready. We've got a patient for him. Acting Captain's Starlog, We've resumed our course for Azati Prime. Major Hayes and his men have been temporarily relieved of duty. Dr. Phlox believes he's found an explanation for the captain's behavior. Where is he? In his quarters, resting. Do you recall when the captain was attacked by one of the eggs? It sprayed something in his face. Mmm. I thought it was a defense reflex. But it was actually something far more sophisticated. The substance contained a unique neurochemical. It infiltrated the captain's synaptic pathways, causing him to reverse imprint on the baby insectoids. It's the opposite of what happens when a young animal bonds with its mother. What, are you saying he thought he was the mother of those things? More likely a caretaker. Of course, the captain didn't realize this on a conscious level. Eventually, he became obsessed with protecting the eggs to the exclusion of everything else. Including our mission. I'd like to speak with him, if you don't mind. He'll be ake in few hours. He should be fully recovered by then. I want you and your men to return to duty. Yes, ma'am. Not the sort of thing they trained us for at West Point. I imagine not. You could have come to me, explained the situation. We couldn't take the chance that you'd side with the captain. I probably would have. Come in. I didn't mean to wake you, sir. It's all right. I was getting up anyway. How you feeling? Oh, I've been better. You sure you had that pistol set to "stun"? Captain... I hope you understand if there'd been any other way... You were protecting our mission, Trip. I would have done the same thing. Still, I never thought I'd find myself pointing a weapon at you, no matter what the circumstances. Let's put this behind us, okay? Yes, sir. What's our status? We just recovered the last of our antimatter reserves. The hatchlings? Phlox says there's 19 of them running around down there. Chances are they'll survive until the next Xindi ship comes along. It time we got back on the road. I want you at your post. We're going to be pushing the engines pretty hard. I'll be on the bridge. Aren't you supposed to get some rest? I've had plenty. I'm sorry, sir, but the Doctor was insistent. Okay. I guess I don't want another mutiny on my hands. Tell Travis to set a course for Azati Prime, maximum warp. Right away, sir. Hey. SUBTITULADO EN EL "PROYECTO GENESIS" 3 TEMPORADA ENTERPRISE - Mar.2004 NARRATOR: Previously on Enterprise: HELMSMAN: The Insectoid ship's been damaged. Target the second one. Is that what this is all about? You think I want to replace you? You just can't stand taking orders from me, can you? -Tell me something. -What? Why won't you let me do my job? I want to know where you're building the weapon. -I don't know what you're talking about. -The hell you don't. There's a reference to a planet he visited recently. Azati Prime. The coordinates match the location of one of the red giants. Set a course for Azati Prime, maximum warp. [Grave instrumental music] Magnify. REED: It's definitely Xindi, sir. The hull composition matches the other ships we've seen. It doesn't look like a Reptilian or a Primate design. Bio-signs? None that I can detect. There's no atmosphere aboard. -Anyone else in the system? -No, sir. ARCHER: Put a team together. REED: Aye, sir. [Grave instrumental music intensifies] [Theme music] It's been a long road Gettin' from there to here It's been a long time But my time is finally near And I will see my dream Come alive at last I will touch the sky And they're not gonna Hold me down no more No, they're not gonna change my mind 'Cause I've got faith of the heart I'm going where my heart will take me I've got faith to believe I can do anything I've got strength of the soul And no one's gonna bend or break me I can reach any star I've got faith I've got faith Faith of the heart [Solemn instrumental music] [Scanner beeps] [Scanner continues beeping] We'll take them back to Enterprise. Tell Phlox I want a complete autopsy. The Major and I will search the port side. See if you can access their ship's database. [Solemn instrumental music continues] [Scanner beeps] [Solemn instrumental music heightens] It's a computer interface. See what you can download. REED: My father would love to get a look at this place. REED: He's fascinated by insects. REED: Always filling the house up with bugs he's collected. REED: Drives my mother crazy. Maybe we can bring home something new for his collection. [Scanner beeping] It's heavily reinforced. It's pressurising. Oxygen-nitrogen atmosphere. After you. REED: A little stale, but breathable. Bio-signs... very faint. REED: Coming from in here. [Solemn instrumental music] Some kind of shuttlecraft? ARCHER: More like an assault vehicle. I'm reading a half-dozen particle-cannons, torpedo launchers. [Radio beeps] Archer. TRIP: [On radio] You'd better get over here, sir. T'POL: The DNA is identical to the bodies we found. They would appear to be the crew's offspring. A hatchery? They built this place to take quite a beating. Reinforced bulkheads, backup power systems. Thirty-one eggs are still viable. They won't survive for long. Their bio-support is losing power. Do you think you can repair it? I wouldn't even know where to start. There's a shuttlecraft in their port bay, get it back to the ship. I want an analysis of their tactical systems as soon as possible. Aye, sir. ARCHER: Did you find their Bridge? I'm not certain there is one. Their command functions appear to be distributed through various-- T'POL: Captain! I'm all right. We should get you to Sickbay. A mild neurotoxin, likely part of an autonomic defence system. The egg probably considered you a threat. ARCHER: Humans seem to have that effect on the Xindi. An analgesic should take care of the irritation. Malcolm's bringing you two dead Insectoids. I want you to learn as much as you can about them. Understood. We've located their Armoury. Found several particle weapons and torpedo casings. What about the data you recovered? Ensign Sato's translating it. We'll be ready to leave orbit as soon as the Xindi shuttle's aboard. We've cleared the thermosphere. You might want to do a better job securing our guests. I think it's safe to assume it's dead. Just being cautious. Certain insects on Earth are known to hibernate. Do you intend to shoot me, Major? It's not you I'm worried about. I've been going over the results from the last training session. Your senior officers have shown a lot of improvement... but I think they can do better. With your permission... I'd like to schedule more target practice for Monday evening. That won't go over well with Commander Tucker. Monday night is movie night. Maybe he can sacrifice some leisure time for the sake of this mission. The senior officers do have other duties. We can't all spend our time playing holographic games in the Armoury. I'm not sure that's how the Captain would see it. HOSHI: [On radio] Enterprise to Shuttlepod 2. You're clear to approach. Acknowledged. Deploy the docking arm. [Door beeps] Come in. I think we figured out what happened to them. TRIP: One of the nacelles fractured... while they were coming out of a subspace vortex. They probably tried to make an emergency landing on this planet. According to Phlox, the Insectoids we found weren't killed in the crash... they suffocated? Most of the crew appear to have died when they transferred... their life support to the hatchery. They sacrificed themselves to save their children. You said the hatchery is losing bio-support. How long will it last? Another day, at most. I want you to assign a team to repair it. -Captain? -What about Azati Prime? It's not going anywhere. This is a sentient species. We can't abandon them. Captain, with all due respect, why the hell not? I've got half a mind to take a plasma torch to that place. What if we found a nursery filled with 31 infant Primates? Would you want to torch them? ARCHER: The Xindi are trying to destroy Earth... because they heard that humans are ruthless. ARCHER: This is a chance to prove them wrong. We can bring the eggs aboard. Reconfigure one of the cargo bays. I already talked to Phlox. He says they're integrated into the hatchery walls. If we remove them, they'll die. Sir, this is crazy. These people are trying to kill us. This isn't open for discussion. ARCHER: I'll lead the engineering team. I need you here to help Travis figure out how to operate that Xindi shuttle. -Captain. -I've made my decision. ARCHER: Get to work. ARCHER: [On tape] Captain's Starlog, January 8, 2154. We've been in orbit for more than a day. The crew is restless, eager to resume our mission. But I'm certain my decision to stay was the right one. They may know how to build a weapon system, but these people could learn... a thing or two about designing a comfortable chair. For an Insectoid, maybe they are comfortable. The power grid doesn't make much sense. Almost half of it is routed to structural integrity. You could probably fly this thing inside a gas giant. Assuming you could figure out how to fly it. This icon looks like it might represent the impulse manifolds. Give it a shot. I don't think this ship likes us very much. REED: You're going to have to remove the relays here and here. That should disable the security protocols. We can't initialise the engines without them. What about the ship on the surface? We might be able to salvage what we need. Yeah. Any word on how much longer he's planning to stay in orbit? The repairs are moving slow. I'd be the last to question the Captain's orders... but doesn't it seem a little odd that we're staying here... to save a nest of Xindi? The Captain thinks it's the right thing to do. We may be at war, but these creatures need our help. Meanwhile, their big brothers are trying to destroy Earth. Every day we stay here gives them more time to finish their weapon. TRIP: Look... there's a chance we'll run into more Insectoids when we reach the red giant. Spending an extra day or two studying their tactical systems might be useful. PHLOX: Captain. I've learned quite a bit about this fascinating fellow. Perhaps "fellow" is the wrong word, their species is genderless. Then who made all those eggs? They reproduce asexually. Each adult appears capable of producing multiple egg sacs. I wouldn't be surprised if every Insectoid vessel had its own hatchery. I'd estimate their lifespan is no more than 12 Earth years. This individual may be one of the elder members of the crew. It was nearly 10 years old. What about the hatchery? When will the eggs mature? Without knowing more about their incubation cycle, it's impossible to say... but probably no more than a week, at most. Captain, if you don't mind my saying, you look as if you could use some rest. We've got to get the repairs finished. Surely a few hours' sleep wouldn't-- Contact me if you find anything else. [Solemn instrumental music] -Is there a problem, Corporal? -No, ma'am. -Why are you guarding this chamber? -Captain's orders. [Solemn instrumental music continues] -Lieutenant Reed's report. -What? You requested a tactical analysis of the Insectoid ship. Later. ARCHER: Are we ready? TRIP: Just a few seconds, Captain. T'POL: There are two macos posted outside. I asked Major Hayes to assign them. These eggs are vulnerable. There are breaches in the outer hull. ARCHER: There could be predators around. Aside from microbes, we found no evidence of life on this planet. ARCHER: Trip. TRIP: We're ready. Start at 40 megajoules, but keep an eye on that matrix converter. Take it up to 50. Trip? ARCHER: Shut it down. What happened? There must have been a surge in the power grid. I'll need a few minutes, Captain. Archer to Enterprise. Medical emergency. [Grave instrumental music] There was nothing I could do. I'm sorry. ARCHER: How's Hoshi coming with that translation? Their iconography is different from the other Xindi species. It's taking some time. When she's done, ask her to search their database. See if she can locate anything about their burial rituals. Do you plan to hold a funeral? TRIP: [On radio] Tucker to Captain Archer. ARCHER: Go ahead. TRIP: I think I figured out the problem. Their power grid can't handle our converters. It's going to take at least three days to make them compatible. What about the reactor? Any way to bring it online? It's possible, but they lost most of their antimatter in the accident. ARCHER: Stand by. Work with Trip. Help him get their reactor up and running. Sir? We're going to transfer our antimatter to their ship. Use as much as you have to. Our reserves are at less than 60%-- I'm not going to let any more of them die. To get that reactor running again, we're going to have to use a third... of our antimatter reserves. REED: Why so much? Every system on that ship is integrated. The only way to bring bio-support back online is to power up the whole thing. That's not going to leave much antimatter for our torpedoes... never mind our engines. Did you inform the Captain? I wanted to run it by both of you first. I never imagined Captain Archer would put the welfare of a few Xindi... before his own people. Do you know he's spent nearly two days in that hatchery? From what I'm told, he hasn't stopped working long enough to even sleep. From what I'm told, he hasn't stopped working long enough to even sleep. Delay the transfer for now. The Captain gave us an order. I'll speak with him. [Serious instrumental music] Where's Trip? ARCHER: Did you bring the antimatter? T'POL: No. What's the problem? Initialising their reactor will deplete our reserves by one-third. We can spare it. ARCHER: We're only a few light-years from the red giant. We'll still have more than enough fuel to get there. We don't know for certain if the weapon is in that system. There are lives at risk here. Billions of lives are at risk on Earth if our mission fails. I'm well aware of that. These Xindi are innocent. If we let them die, we'll be proving to the others that they're right about us. I don't know much about Vulcan ethics, but humans don't throw morality... out the window when things start getting a little rough. Commander Tucker and Lieutenant Reed also believe... that this would compromise our mission. Your opinions have been noted. Now get back to Enterprise and start the antimatter transfer. I'm sorry, Captain, I can't obey that order. You may not be wearing a uniform... but you can still be charged with insubordination. Perhaps we should contact Starfleet and discuss this with Admiral Forrest. You're relieved as First Officer. ARCHER: Major, escort T'Pol back to the ship and confine her to her quarters. HAYES: Sir? ARCHER: I gave you an order. Ma'am. [Serious instrumental music continues] [Door beeps] Come in. The first shuttlepod is on its way. How long will it take to transfer the antimatter? Using both shuttlepods, about four or five hours. ARCHER: I didn't realise how badly I needed a shower. I've spent too much time in that hatchery. If you're looking for a new first officer, you should consider Malcolm. You're going to want someone on the Bridge full-time... I'm a little busy at the moment. I'm happy with the command structure the way it is. This is only temporary. T'Pol just needed a slap on the wrist. She's questioned your orders lots of times... but you've never locked her up before. You have to admit, it's a little out of the ordinary. These aren't ordinary circumstances. T'Pol refused a direct order in front of the crew. I can't have senior officers behaving like that. Especially on a mission this important. Maybe you ought to confine me to quarters, too, sir. Because I'm still not sure we're doing the right thing here. If the roles were reversed... I can't imagine these Xindi would do the same for us. My great-grandfather was in North Africa during the Eugenics Wars. His battalion was evacuating civilians from a war zone... when they came under attack. There was a school full of children directly between them and the enemy. If his men had returned fire, they might have hit it. So he called the commander on the other side... and got him to agree to hold his fire long enough to evacuate the school. There are rules, Trip, even in war. We have to help these children. This is what you wanted to show me? A battle simulation? Scenarios like this can tell us a lot about the enemy's tactical capabilities... much more than we'd learn from a standard analysis. I asked you to look for weaknesses in their shields, not to play more games. This isn't exactly a game, Lieutenant. The simulation found that they're vulnerable here. They've got minimal shielding around their impulse manifolds. A pair of torpedoes should be enough to take out the engines. Those manifolds are pretty narrow... but our targeting scanners should be able to get a lock. -Nice work. -Thank you, sir. I apologise. I overreacted. -A lot of the crew's on edge lately. -They certainly are. I heard things got pretty ugly down there. It's not every day I'm asked to confine a senior officer. I can't say I disagree with the Captain's decision. If one of my men disobeyed orders, I'd throw him in the stockade. I've got to get back to the Bridge. Let me know if your simulation finds anything else. I need to see T'Pol. She's not supposed to have any visitors. This isn't a social call. I'm here for my neuro-pressure treatment. Doctor's orders. You don't want me to bring Phlox down here, do you? What's our status? The antimatter's on its way. I had a talk with him. Everything's gonna be all right. This whole thing'll blow over in a day or two. Our antimatter supply will be depleted by then. The Captain's behaviour is becoming increasingly illogical, even for a human. He's preoccupied with the hatchery, he's displaying signs of paranoia. I think you're overstating things just a little. You can't allow him to use our antimatter. What do you suggest I do? Start a mutiny? You have to speak with Phlox. Ask him to run a full exam on the Captain. What good would that do? If the Doctor can find something wrong, we may have medical grounds... -to relieve him of command. -Relieve him? Look, I know you're upset about what happened... but I think you're taking this personally. How long before the reactor is brought online? Assuming Hoshi can translate the interface, about 12 hours. You have to delay it until we can verify the Captain's mental state. If he finds out what we're doing, we'll both end up in the Brig. You're asking me to betray him. You can't allow your personal feelings for the Captain to affect your decision. We both know he's endangering this ship and our mission. What is it? A subspace vortex is opening off the port bow. Tactical Alert. Captain Archer, report to the Bridge. It's an Insectoid. Three bio-signs aboard. They're firing. They're moving away at full impulse. Pursuit course. Arm phase-cannons. Disable their engines. [Grave instrumental music] No effect. Their main deflector's charging. They could be trying to open a vortex. Torpedoes. Maximum yield. Target their impulse manifolds. CREWMAN: Ready. REED: Fire. ARCHER: What the hell's going on? REED: An Insectoid ship, sir. You destroyed them? REED: They were opening a vortex. They would have escaped. The crew might have been able to take care of the hatchery. Sir? We could have kept our antimatter and continued the mission. They would have told their superiors, sir, given away our position. If you'd explained to them why we were here... you might have avoided a fire-fight. With all due respect, sir, they didn't seem particularly interested in talking. ARCHER: Archer to Major Hayes. HAYES: Go ahead, Captain. ARCHER: Report to my Ready Room, on the double. HAYES: Aye, sir. I'm relieving you as Tactical Officer. ARCHER: From now on, you'll report to Major Hayes. I did what was necessary to protect this ship and its mission. You'll be confined to quarters until further notice. -Captain! -Dismissed. Yes, sir. ARCHER: Are you done with that translation? Almost. I want you to put together a distress call in the Insectoid language. Transmit it on all frequencies as soon as you're ready. Understood. There's nothing more important than the success of this mission. -Do you agree, Major? -Of course, sir. My senior officers don't seem to understand what I'm trying to do here. ARCHER: I guess I have myself to blame. ARCHER: In the past, I've encouraged them to ask questions... but we don't have time for that now. I need officers who respect the chain of command and can follow orders. It won't be a problem, sir. ARCHER: I thought what happened with T'Pol... might have been an isolated incident but I'm not so sure now. Lieutenant Reed destroyed a ship that could have helped us. I'm starting to wonder if he deliberately tried to sabotage this mission. You're in command while I'm on the surface. You answer to me and me alone. Is that understood, Major? -Perfectly, sir. -That'll be all. [Solemn instrumental music] TRIP: Can we talk to you, sir? ARCHER: What is it? I'd like you to go to Sickbay with Phlox. Do I look sick to you? Hoshi says you ordered her to transmit a distress call. That's right. Don't you think that's a little dangerous? We'll be light-years from here before the Xindi respond to it. We don't know how far away their ships are. If we send that message, we'll be taking a hell of a risk. We can't afford to play it safe anymore. This mission's too important. This mission is to save Earth... not an alien hatchery. Captain, you haven't eaten or slept in almost two days. You've shown signs of obsessional behaviour and paranoia. If it'll make the two of you feel better... I'll go to Sickbay for a complete physical... -as soon as that reactor's online. -That's not good enough, sir. Phlox has the authority to order you to Sickbay. T'Pol is manipulating you, isn't she? If I'm declared unfit for duty, then she takes over. Captain, if you won't come with me... I'll be required under Starfleet Order 104, Section C... to relieve you of command. I expected something like this from her... but not from the two of you. Corporal. I've already confined two senior officers today. PHLOX: His neurochemistry appears normal. There's nothing wrong with him? This scan is hardly conclusive. I'll need to get him into the imaging chamber... and run a complete neurological series. When Hoshi sends that distress call... every Xindi ship that picks it up will start heading this way. He's got Hayes on the Bridge, macos posted all over the ship. Whatever we do, we're going to have to do it fast. What are you proposing, Commander? I think it's time we throw the rule book out the window. [Eggs rustling] Captain. MACO: I'm sorry, sir, no visitors. TRIP: You let me in before. I have new orders from Major Hayes. Look, T'Pol was a little rough with me during the last session. I think she caused some nerve damage. MACO: You'll have to speak with the Major. This is a Starfleet ship. I don't have to ask Major Hayes for anything. MACO: Step away, sir. REED: Stand down, Corporal. The Captain gave Hayes control of the Bridge... posted macos on every deck. -Is he still on the surface? -Yeah. Retrieving him and the antimatter should be the priority. I'd advise securing the Bridge first. If Hayes gets wind of this... we could have a fire-fight on our hands. Perhaps we should approach the Major, and explain the situation. -He seems like a reasonable man. -That would be risky. If Hayes sides with the Captain, this mutiny will be over before it begins. We'll need more people. Who's on duty in the Armoury? Ensign Walsh and two of my men. They'll side with us, but Hayes posted two MACO there. -Take the shuttlepod back to Enterprise. -What about you, sir? You heard me. REED: Hold it. Sorry. That's going to leave a bruise. REED: All right. You're with me. CREWMAN: Yes, sir. [Fast-paced instrumental music] Well, we won't get to the Bridge this way. [Fast-paced tense instrumental music] [Both groaning] Captain! [Tense instrumental music] Captain, it's Trip! ARCHER: You shouldn't have weapons in here. HAYES: Go ahead. MACO: Major, Corporal Chang's been found unconscious in T'Pol's quarters. HAYES: Where's T'Pol? MACO: Not here, sir. Hayes to the Armoury. Armoury, respond. Stand down! [Tense instrumental music] -You intend to shoot me, Lieutenant? -Tell them to stand down. The Captain relieved you of duty. Both of you. We don't want anyone injured. Put down your weapons. Until the Captain says otherwise, I give the orders on this Bridge. -Go back to the ship. -You have to come with us. Captain. [Archer shushing] It's all right. -Contact the Captain. -Belay that. I gave you a direct order, Ensign. I'm sorry, Major. [Tense instrumental music continues] [Both grunting] It's over, Major. REED: Take him to his quarters. MAYWEATHER: Aye, sir. [Radio beeps] HOSHI: It's Commander Tucker. T'POL: Put him through. T'POL: Go ahead. TRIP: We've got the Captain. TRIP: What's going on up there? T'POL: The Bridge is secure. Tell Phlox to get the imaging chamber ready. We've got a patient for him. T'POL: [On tape] Acting Captain's Starlog, supplemental. We've resumed our course for Azati Prime. Major Hayes and his men have been temporarily relieved of duty. Dr. Phlox believes he has found an explanation for the Captain's behaviour. -Where is he? -In his quarters, resting. Do you recall when the Captain was attacked by one of the eggs? -It sprayed something in his face. -And I thought it was a defence reflex. But it was actually something far more sophisticated. The substance contained a unique neurochemical. PHLOX: It infiltrated the Captain's synaptic pathways... causing him to reverse-imprint on the baby Insectoids. It's the opposite of what happens when a young animal bonds with its mother. Are you saying he thought he was the mother of those things? Well, more likely, a caretaker. Of course, the Captain didn't realize this on a conscious level. Eventually, he became obsessed with protecting the eggs... -to the exclusion of everything else. -Including our mission. I'd like to speak with him, if you don't mind. He'll be awake in a few hours. He should be fully recovered by then. I want you and your men to return to duty. Yes, ma'am. Not the sort of thing they trained us for at West Point. I imagine not. You could have come to me, explained the situation. We couldn't take the chance that you'd side with the Captain. -I probably would have. -Yeah. [Door beeps] ARCHER: Come in. -I didn't mean to wake you, sir. -It's all right, I was getting up anyway. -How are you feeling? -I've been better. You sure you had that pistol set to stun? Captain. I hope you understand if there'd been any other way.... You were protecting our mission, Trip. I would have done the same thing. Still, I never thought I'd find myself pointing a weapon at you... no matter what the circumstances. Let's put this behind us, okay? Yes, sir. What's our status? We just recovered the last of our antimatter reserves. The hatchlings? Phlox says there's 19 of them running around down there. Chances are they'll survive until the next Xindi ship comes along. It's time we got back on the road. I want you at your post. We're going to be pushing the engines pretty hard. I'll be on the Bridge. Aren't you supposed to get some rest? ARCHER: I've had plenty. I'm sorry, sir, but the Doctor was insistent. Okay. I guess I don't want another mutiny on my hands. Tell Travis to set a course for Azati Prime, maximum warp. Right away, sir. [Theme music] A hundred and fifty years ago, the Gates Falls Mill stood here. It employed 200 men and women. Good Yankees, all. Sixteen-hour shifts during the Civil War... when the Gates Falls Mill made uniforms for the Union Army. The job of the men wearing those uniforms... was to end the peculiar institution. The peculiar institution being slavery. When the mill burned in 1869... most of them got out. The fire started in the first floor. Most of the adult mill workers escaped. Most of the children... Most of the children did not. This is the realm of darkness. Years later, a hospital was built here. Kingdom Hospital. The bleaching and dyeing vats have given way to doctors and researchers... and operating rooms filled with modern equipment. Here, life is charted with lasers... and EKGs and MRIs. There is no place for superstition. Rational thought has replaced whispered myths... about the unquiet, hungry dead. But there is such a thing as intellectual arrogance. And arrogance is blind. Perhaps the ground Kingdom Hospital stands on... is still uneasy... for the cold and damp have returned. Time for your enema, Mr. Stillmach. By tonight, that impacted colon will be a thing of the past. Is someone there? Little girl? Girl-watching is thirsty work. I brought you this. You scared the hell out of me. Problem with the elevators? With 2, always 2. Hook, did you just see a little girl, in the hallway, maybe? I didn't see anyone. But then, half the lights are out again. Abel to Security. - It's Otto. - And Hook. The lights are out in West 1. And Elevator 2 is acting up again. And Blondie, did you see him? No. Flipping a breaker isn't a solution. It's only a Band-Aid. Did you see a little girl? If kids are wandering out of Paeds, Dr. James is going to be very unhappy. I have never seen Dr. James unhappy. There you are. I've been so worried about you. Hon, stay on the lane, okay? I hate it when you run on the main road. It's October, in case you haven't noticed. There's no traffic on the main road. All the summer people went home a month ago... God bless their pointy little heads. Well, still, it makes me nervous, so just stay on the lane, okay? - I suppose I could. - Great. - And by the way, you were great. - So were you. - See you later. - Peter, what are you painting? The new, strange one? How many times have I told you? I don't like it... I know, you don't like me looking at your works-in-progress, but I peeked. It's weird. You know it's weird, because you never cover your paintings. I'm going. See you later. Hon. I didn't mean to piss you off. Quit it, Charlie. Get out of that. Damn it, Charlie, that's my dinner. Get out of there, Charlie. Get out of there. Hey, help me up here, would you? My hip hurts a little bit. I think you might have brushed me going by. Come on, fellow, help me. Just a close call. I'm sorry, man. I'm really sorry. Quit gibbering and help me get up. I think I sprained my hip getting out of the way, and my back hurts a little. Oh, my God. Did you really hit me? I can't deal with this right now, man, okay? I got 12 points and a DUI on my license already... and there's an ounce in my glove compartment. What are you talking about? Help me. It's not really primo stuff or anything, but an ounce is an ounce, right? Besides, someone will come along pretty soon. What the hell are you talking about? I think I'm really hurt here. Help me, you son of a bitch. I mean, even out here, right? Someone always does, eventually. I'm sorry I hit you, man. I'm really sorry, man. What were you doing, running in the middle of the road, anyhow? Can I move my... No. Bug out of here. Hey, stop. I need help. I'm down here. Get off me. You look pretty tasty. Get away from me. I think I'll start with your eyes. Get away from me. Yum. "Ant-solutely" delicious. Please, don't hurt me. You're a real mess, my friend. I mean, seriously racked up. Please. Save your strength. That would be my advice. You'll need it. Help me. You'll be all right, fellow. Just lie still. I think I'm paralysed. Can you... You'll be all right. You'll be fine. I'm not actually talking, am I? This is bad. I'm just going to go call for a... Just try not to move. This is really bad. If there's a Smokey or a mobile EMT unit with your ears on... I got a seriously injured fellow here on Route 7. I got you, good buddy. He's on the shoulder and... Good. Block him from oncoming traffic... with your truck. Don't run him down. I don't think the company would be too crazy about... Just do it. I'll call the Sheriff's Department... This is Deputy Frank Downes, Oxford County Sheriff's Department. I have my ears on and am en route. Copy. All right, so are we, Deputy Downes. Kingdom, this is Castleview 19. Do you read? Five-by-five, 19. We're going mobile. Sir, can you hear me? Sir, can you move your arms and legs? How's he looking? The right pupil is fixed and dilated. The left pupil... I don't know. Say again, Ollie? It is Ollie, isn't it? Yeah, it's Ollie and Danny. All right. Never mind his eyes. What about an airway? Is he breathing? Do you copy, Ollie? What else have you got? Is he conscious? I don't know what to say. His eyes are open, but... It's not the same thing, Ollie. Yeah, sorry about that, Kingdom. We've got a multi-trauma. Major head injuries. He's breathing, dazed, but conscious, probably shocky. Minimally responsive, compound fractures to the ribs, both tibia. Fracture to both ankles. Looks like his pelvis is fractured as well. But it's hard to tell. We've got multiple head injuries. BP is 78 over 44, it's going down. Respiration is, I'm going to say, 32. - He's tachy. - Heartbeat clocking 140. Make that 150. All right, get a line in him, Danny. Colour? Saturation? His eyes are open and he's still looking around, but... There's Ollie the ophthalmologist with more eye data. Got the line? Line's in. Normal saline, wide open. Four milligrams morphine, IV Push, PRN. Immobilize that spine with a collar, side head supports, and straps. Be very careful. Okay, that's a roger. The respiration is rapid and shallow. Oh, yeah. Easy. Did he say anything about who hit him? No, man, he didn't say anything. Easy. There we go. Sugar. Ollie, he's going to crump on me. Can you... Do you want me to pull over? I got it, I'm styling. Just get us there. Watch for Mary. Listen for her bell. It's a death bell. I'm bagging away here, but I'm getting airway resistance. Has his trachea deviated? Big time, to the right. Fudgebar. He's going V-Fib. The fun never ends, huh? Clear. Come on, Danny. Ladies and gentlemen, we're back. Liz, get a cutdown tray ready for chest tube insertion, please. You okay with this one? - He's okay with this one. You have a case. - Druse. Again? - Mama. - Hush up, Bobby. This could be serious. I've got pins and needles all up my right arm. There. Isn't it lovely? Ready? And one, two, three, up. Sweatpants, no pockets. We can't do a wallet biopsy on this one. I know who he is. - You want me to guess? Is there a prize? - I can't get air in him. - I know. - Really? Want to share? His name's Peter Rickman. He lives in Castleview. He's a famous artist. Liz, could I get an 18-gauge needle, please? No syringe, just the needle. - Are you... - Yes. Tension pneumo, Elmer. Pleural sac is inflating like a beach ball. Time for a party trick. May I be excused? Never mind. Mr. Rickman, can you hear me? Now, don't move. Just blink your eyes if you can hear me. Thanks. Please, let this be a dream. I want a dozen double-stuffed Oreos, IV push... ready with 1,000 milligrams of peanut butter crackers and two amps of Nestle's Quik. Good afternoon. Hello. My name is Christine Draper. I'm a neurosurgeon. Sally Druse. Are you a good doctor? As good as Dr. Hook? No problem there. Your hand's acting up? Yeah. Needles and pins. And I need it for my pendulum. I'm psychic. I've been written up in several magazines. Patient complains of needles and pins. Noodles and prunes. He's got one hell of a blood puddle in there. I'm surprised the blow didn't crack his skull wide open. First, we open our craniotomy and then we excavate the haematoma. Capisci, Elmer? Yeah. Okay, there it is, Elmer. I always pause here and imagine that I am the first neurosurgeon. The first to boldly journey into the workings of a human mind. Cool. Yes, it is. Inside this skull is another universe... the biggest, scariest haunted house of them all. Elmer, will you hurry up and tell Dr. Hook how profound he is... so we can get inside this poor guy's noggin and reduce the cranial pressure? Anyway, after I've paused to reflect on the gravity of what it is I am about to do... and only after I've done that, do I proceed with my mission. Yes, Doctor. Steady as you go, Otto. Patient to Nine, Neuro. Standing by. You'll be fine, Mrs. D. Yeah, I will. You tell Bobby not to worry. Bye-bye. These things are so slow. Mommy. Someone was crying in the Children's Ward? We call it Paediatrics these days, Mrs. Druse. Well, whatever you call it, it sounded like it was right on top of the elevator. A little girl. I see. It's very hard to get a place in here. A gusher! Mop. Irrigation people, come on. Don't let this man drown. Come on, you're up, Elmer. Jump in here, please. - That's not my job. - Your union steward is not on duty today. If you wouldn't mind jumping in, right about now. Come on, son. Right there. Very nice. Are you seeing what I'm seeing? We took those photos less than an hour ago. Why is the size of the haematoma in that scan... three times the size of the one in this man's skull? It's like the whole mess is healing itself at warp speed. The home number was unlisted, but Rickman was in the ER last year... with a badly cut finger, and his wife had a Pap smear. Dr. Willock. Dr. Willock, excellent. And who's taking care of this fellow now? It's not Dr. Stegman, is it? No. Steg isn't in. I believe Hook. Hook? Excellent. - Do you think so? - Yes, indeed. You say this Peter Rickman is quite well-known? Yes. In fact, here. I included this, in case you hadn't seen it. I see. Thank you, Brenda. Quick work, and even quicker thinking. Thank you for this. Here, take this, and one of these... and, of course, one of these, for your car window. Aren't they wonderful? Aren't they really excellent? Very nice. Jesse, if this works out, the Rickmans are in a position... to give Kingdom Hospital a great deal of help. Filthy rich, are they? - I don't know if I'd say that, exactly, but... - No, but just between us? - Excuse me, Jesse. I've got to run. - Have a great day. - Have yourself a "morning air" day. - I will. Filthy rich. Let's call a spade a spade and a chicken a chicken. Julie, call me the minute that Peter Rickman is out of the OR. - The very minute. - Yes, Dr. James. Perhaps you can get me an update on Hook's progress. Yes, Dr. James. Okay, Elmer, there it is. A three-pound universe. What do you know? Go back to sleep. Elmer. That nurse down there is no longer dancing to the sound of the Big Brass Band. Would you mind squirreling her away in a corner, please? Thank you. What the hell did you just do? I don't know. How the hell should I know? I'm just the dog. Hook. Yeah. Just slow down, Otto. I'm on my way. Mrs. Rickman, I assure you... - Are you my husband's doctor? - That would be Hook. He was on call when Mr. Rickman was admitted. - A neurosurgeon, one of the finest on staff. - I want to speak to him. He's waiting for us, Mrs. Rickman. I don't judge the living or the dead. Antibus. I grant wishes, prayers and dreams. Guardian of the gate. Am I going to die? This is Kingdom Hospital... which stands on uneasy ground. Here, the cold and damp have returned. And as the gate swings open... the dead may also return. I'm going to give you a few moments alone with your husband now, if you'd like that. - Would you like that? - Yes. - I would like that, Doctor... - Hook. Now, you can speak to your husband, but... he will almost certainly not answer... although he may open his eyes. Is he in a coma? He's not conscious or responsive now, but that is not unusual after trauma and surgery. Now, time may prove me wrong, but I don't expect him to be in a coma. Is he awful? No. You handled that brilliantly, Hook. And thanks for putting him in the... The Presidential Suite is what they call it up here. Excuse me. I'll just let you handle this, then, shall I? Make one of the Kingdom apartments available to her... if that's appropriate. There are lots of vacancies. Peter? Look at you. Just look at you. Oh, baby. I didn't mean to piss you off this afternoon. I really didn't. Can you hear me, baby? Honey? Peter, can you hear me? Honey? Can you hear me? I'm here, baby. - The artist has seen the other one. - He's seen Paul? Hello, Lenny. Lenny, how are you? Lenny, it's Sally. Come back, Lenny. It's Sally. Come back. Move your jack. Cover that bitch. Yes. Good. Lovely. I've returned, and it's a good thing, too, Lenny. The vibrations have changed. They're not good here. I heard this little child crying in the elevator. Could be a little girl from the Children's Ward, but... I think that Kingdom Hospital is haunted. Haunted? And we're going to resume our séances tomorrow, first thing. There's no time to lose. You have to tell the others. - Sally, you're back. - Lenny. Oh, yes, Lenny. Yes, darling, I'm back, and we are going to set things right. You can count on me. Thank you. - Can I stay with him tonight? - No. But... the hospital keeps apartments across the street... and I can arrange for you to stay in one of those, if you'd like. - You treated him? - I was the admitting surgeon, yes. Your husband had a buildup of blood on his brain, a haematoma. That's what caused his intercranial pressure rise. We fixed that, we hope. He has more surgery ahead of him. Tomorrow, he'll be in the OR again, with Dr. Freeman. Dr. Freeman's an orthopod. He has multiple fractures of his lower extremities. Both his right and his left tibia... his right malleolus, and his pelvis is fractured. Is he in pain? He's receiving medication, which relieves the pain. Morphine? I'm afraid that your husband's spine... and skull were also severely damaged. Will he be able to walk? Will he be able to use his hands? Because... my husband is a painter. His spine was damaged between the fourth and the fifth cervical vertebrae. The good news is that his ability to breathe seems unimpaired. The bad news is that, up to this point, he has shown... no ability to move his arms or his legs, and no response to stimuli... the prick of a pin, for instance. But we're still in the first 24 hours, post-accident. Dr. Hook, when my husband wakes up, will he be a quadriplegic? We're hopeful that the spine is only compressed. If that's the case... then your husband may recover some use of his arms and his legs. But in this type of accident, we are very worried... the damage may be permanent. Permanent? Oh, my God. I'm so sorry to tell you this. Wait a minute. You... Compressed is better than broken or fractured. Am I correct? If the spine is only compressed... then he may recover some limited use of his arms and his legs. What are the chances of it being a compression rather than a fracture? Not good. How not good? I don't want to discourage you with statistics, Mrs. Rickman. Statistics are for groups. Your husband is one talented, driven man. His chances are 100%... or zero. And we have to be ready for the zero. - I'm sorry. - You're sorry? You're so sorry? Why do you keep saying that? Because there's nothing else. The chances that your husband will wake up and be the same old Peter are small. And the chances that he will walk again, or paint, are also small. Although, of course, we're hopeful. The chances that he will be his old self, and walk... infinitesimal. I am still so sorry to tell you these things. I'm all right. We can afford the best possible treatment... that money can buy... but we would be glad if... I would be glad if you would stick by him... at least to begin with. Thank you. You mentioned something about apartments. I'm going to need one of those. Open-ended. - He's a fighter. - Good. Okay, Ron, it's time to beat the chair and win $10,000. Are you ready? I'm ready, Gene. For $10,000... who starred in the suspense thriller Three Days of the Condor? Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. Dustin Hoffman? I'm sorry, Ron. Robert Redford. What a sport. This is all your fault. If it wasn't for you, Charlie... Somebody in here? This is so wasted. Bobby, isn't it a beautiful morning? You promised you'd stop. Never again, you said. This is where I work. Yes, but this time, I think I really am ill. Still now, Mrs. Druse. Still as a mouse. The world is full of mysteries. "Temporary physician's parking." Right. Hey, nice one. Idiots. Why don't you learn how to drive? Stop that. Sorry, Dad. I... Look, Dr. Stegman is clearly not coming. We've all got a lot to do. Let's start. He's got a heavy caseload. You can't expect him here on the dot. As he has no neurological complaint, his mental condition... is irrelevant to this meeting. Come on, Brenda. Let's start. Incompetent system. I should have just been issued a windshield sticker. Check this out. Boston. General. Why don't you go collect your welfare checks? This is a hospital zone. Look at him. How's the famous artist, Hook? He is stable. I admitted Eleanor Druse yesterday. Good-time Sally's back in town. She's presenting with numbness of the right arm and possible neurological insults. What is this, her tenth admission? And that's just since I've been here. Sooner or later, the little girl who cries wolf is telling the truth. I've ordered an MRI. Don't be silly, Christine. Only the Chief of Neuro can order an MRI. You know that. That's not true, actually. What do you mean? I did it. At 7:10 this morning. I signed off on the paperwork. Surely not in Steg's name? How do I know what it looked like to the tech on duty? Come on, Brenda. Kingdom Hospital Neuro can't grind to a halt because Steg oversleeps. Don't look at him. Hey, Doc, you're losing it. What's up, Doc? You should be sterilized. At least then you couldn't breed. Hey, you forgot something, Doc. Maintenance. This is where I work. Will you try to remember that, Mama? Yes, Bobby. You're a bit of a crackpot, I guess. But I'm very fond of you. - I have some work to do up here, so... - Honey, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I know my way around this place like the back of my hand. - Mr. Goode, I'd like to report... - Johnny's not here. - I'm just holding down the seat for him. - Where may I find him? I heard there was a pipe burst in the new underground parking garage. The one they're building for the docs? I heard the place is filling up with water. It'll set construction back six weeks, probably more, with winter coming on. Doc, I hope you've got yourself a really big ice scraper... 'cause winter could start any time now, and up here, the winters are long. - It's not like Boston. - Up here, very little is like Boston, I find. That's the way we like it. There's a crack in the parking lot. You know what? I got one of those, too. In the back of my pants. Hold on, Doc. You got to fill out a maintenance form, 44-B. Johnny should have one here somewhere, but... You know what? You better take a seat. This will just take a minute. My name is Stegman. Dr. Stegman, Chief of Neurosciences. Pleased to meet you, Doc. Earl Swinton. I don't know where he keeps these things. It's got to be here somewhere. Hell. Hello? Is somebody there? Is somebody there? Who are you? What are you? Who's there? Please. You're frightening me. Can't you stop that, man? This is a hospital. Abel to Security. Abel, are you down there? Abel to Security. I'm not afraid of you. I'm not frightened of you! I'm interested in getting some hours in the sleep lab... I only sign off on the paperwork, Elmer, as I think you know. Good luck. Dr. Massingale. I heard you need volunteers in the sleep lab. Elmer, that depends. On what? Whether you're interested in working or flirting. You've got a bit of a reputation, I'm afraid. - As a flirter? - And for being a practical joker. I'll be the best sleeper in the house. Okay, but you... What's going on, may I ask? We waited, and then we held the meeting without you. Really, Dr. Hook? Very funny. But regardless of what Dr. Hook says... the meeting begins when I arrive. It ends when I leave. Any questions? Have a seat. Any time. Any admissions since yesterday? Peter Rickman, age 41. Accident. Brought in late afternoon just after you left for the day, Dr. Stegman. - The patient is presenting... - I know what he's presenting with. I read the papers, Dr. Hook. How's his nut? His "nut," as you say, is banged up. How severely has yet to be ascertained. Why don't you run some tests? I may have to operate later. Anyone else? Sally Druse, age 65, mildly hypertensive... presenting with numbness of the right arm, possible paresis, paraesthesia, or neuralgia. I've ordered an MRI. I beg your pardon? "M" as in "Map," "R" as in "Rat," "l" as in "Idiot." Only one person in this department has the right to order an MRI. And that person is me. - Cancel it immediately, please. - I can't. What did you say? It's already happened. If you'd been in for early rounds... I have disliked your attitude for the last six weeks, since I've been here, Dr. Hook. I'm sorry to hear that, Dr. Stegman. You're insubordinate and arrogant. I'll have your job for this. I think that went well, don't you? Aren't you worried? I got 12 points and a DUI on my license already. What are you doing, running in the middle of the road, anyhow? "Ant-solutely" delicious. Fudgebar. He's going V-Fib. Come on, Danny, are we open... Listen. It's a death bell. Wake up. Open your eyes. No. I do you a solid, you do me one. That's how it works. Tell Hook about Mary. Tell the old woman. - They'll hear you, if you make them. - I don't understand. You will. And when you do, "ant-solutely" delicious. Nat. Natalie. - Peter. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God, you're awake, Peter. Hook to ICU. Room 426. Stat. You can move. He's not paralysed. Hi, baby. The painter is back from the old Kingdom. It's just a little one. It'll stop in a minute. God, not another one. Now what? Minor shaker, Dr. Stegman. We have them from time to time. It will stop shortly. You can let go now, Elmer. It's over. I would have said he was totally gorked. Oh, he was. What happened here? In medical terms? A miracle. But there's a price to be paid for the miraculous. And Blue Cross doesn't cover it. This is Kingdom Hospital... where the ground is uneasy... and old secrets have begun to rise to the surface. Please, come again. Thank God you stopped. Okay, um, I'm not even gonna get into what's wrong with the actual choreography. I'm gonna start with your shoes, okay? I told you to get Capezio jazz oxfords. I will get those shoes today. You'll get the shoes, but you'll also get the steps. So we'll break it down one more time, and just watch only my feet. I've been doing this since I was seven. My sounds are a little off 'cause I don't really practice that much. Uh, you know what? I can do that, but not the way you're doing it. I can go... Why can't I just do that? Because that's not the choreography! - There you go. - Okay, I'm gonna think about this. You move your feet. Nobody knows what the hell's is going on down there. - Dancers know, dance aficionados... - Just dancers. - Hello? Morning, everybody. - Hey. I'm Michael. Yeah, Larry. Michael. - Nice to meet you. - You know what? I helped you move three years ago. Me and Richard Lewis. You were standing on the street. You were soliciting people for help. Ah? Ah? - You? - That was me, me and Richard Lewis. - I'm seeing him for lunch later. - Larry! - Larry! Larry. - Oh my God! That's amazing. - What are you doing here? - Small world... - I'm the rehearsal pianist. - Get out! - Yeah. - You're kidding? - We'll be working together for a while. - Fantastic. This is my girlfriend Rhonda. - Hello. - Hi, Larry. Nice to meet you. Can you believe it? I hooked up with a model. Boy, you lucked out. - Hey. Morning. - Hey! How's it going? - Ben, this is our... new pianist. - Hi. - Michael. Ben Stiller. - How do you do? - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, Michael. This is my girlfriend Rhonda. - Hi. - Hi, Ben. Rhonda, nice to meet you. Hands off. She's taken. Hey, listen, I'm having a birthday party on Saturday night. You guys are all invited to come, all right? - Fantastic. - My birthday was two weeks ago, but we're having the party this Saturday. Thank you, I'd love to come. Yeah, and no gifts, okay? No gifts. How come you're having a party on Saturday if it was two weeks ago? Christine was out of town, we couldn't get it together - and it worked out this Saturday. - Why even have it all? Why not just forget it, wait till next year? - You blew it. - Yeah, I know. I wish we could've done it last week, but we couldn't get it together. You should bring Cheryl. It'll be fun. Kind of reminds me a little of like President's Day. It's not really the President's birthday. It's some other day. What am I doing? You know... Right. We're back. Let's start at the top of the scene. It's a total scam. He introduced her as a model. She's like completely bullshitting this guy 'cause he's blind. - By the way... - Yeah. Thank you for coming to meet Kim. I might've mentioned Kenny. He's old my friend in New York. She just moved out here from the city. This is his first daughter, and she calls me like Uncle Richard. - I've known her since she was born. - Really? That's fun, "Uncle Richard." Yeah, but the problem is she's an actress, a singer, talented but she wants to get her breasts enlarged, and it's gonna drive Kenny crazy... - He doesn't know about it? - No. - He's my old friend. - Right. I need you to help to talk her out of it. Just like a breast intervention. How am I supposed to bring this up? That's okay. I'll think of something. You always think of something. I don't know. Is everything else good in your life? - Be honest with me. - Hmm? For the first time in over a quarter of a century, tell me something that's really bugging you. I have nothing to confide. You have experienced a lot you have not shared. You've mentioned this to me that I don't confide in you, - and there's nothing to confide. - You haven't confided in me - in your entire life. - How could you say... - Hey! - Hi! - Hey. - Uncle Richard! Look at you from top to bottom. What a doll, huh? - Oh, baby. - Hi. This is my fake niece Kim. Larry David. Larry, Kim. - It is so nice to meet you. - Hi. I did sort of a half get-up there. - For my niece, fake niece... - I should've done a full stand. I think a full get-up would've... It's the thought that counts. Listen, I hope... it's kind of weird, but I'd really love for you to take a look at my reel if you wouldn't mind. You know, I mean, I could take a look at it. I'm not really... I'm not doing TV right now. - That's fine, it's fine. - How you doing? I'm doing really well. Thank you. How are you? - You look fabulous by the way. - Oh, why thank you. So Anna Nicole Smith, she's got uh... some pair of knockers on her, huh? They're not real though, are they? Huh? - Whoa. - Hey. What's all... what's all that? Look at all his gifts. I thought you said we weren't supposed to bring a present. He said no gifts. I don't get it. - Hello. Hi, guys. - Hey! Let me ask you something. Did you bring a gift? - Of course. - Yeah. - See... - He said no gifts. Nobody means that. You took that seriously? - Of course I did. Look at all these. - I know. Oh, what do you got there, chicken? Oh yeah, thank you. - No, I'm fine, thank you. - No, thank you. - You brought something, right? - No, I didn't bring anything. He said no gifts, so I didn't bring anything. - You're the only one. - You guys are making me look bad. - Happy birthday! - Hey, thank you. - Hey, happy birthday! - Thanks for making it, yeah. - So it's the two of you, huh? - Mm-hmm, yeah. Exciting, that's great. - Up on the boards together. - Yeah. - Figuring it out. Unlike Mr. Everett, Mr. Carrington is a professional singer, and sober. Mm-hmm, that's what I say. ? If the thundercloud... ? ? Passes rain... ? ? So let it rain... ? ? Rain down on here. ? The morning after, an inquest is held into the previous night's excesses. Your charges have been very respectful, I thought. the cross-dressing thing, then they sort of... They settled down, yes. They settled down for an early night, which I thought was rather demure. A night to be remembered, though, sir. Oh, yeah, yeah, it was. Yeah, another one. I fell asleep on the billiard table... and then I fell asleep underneath the billiard table. Despite Mr. Everett's attempts it is the departing Mr. Carrington I can see Carrington being a really good mate. You know, one of those guys... I really think he's lovely. He's got everybody summed up in here in one day... everybody to a "T." He's a very switched-on guy. Hmm. Very, very switched-on guy. And I hope he... I do hope he comes back because I think he brings a really good dynamic to the group. Oh, I think he's fantastic. Shall we run for it? Keep going! After Everett had abused me, Carrington sang me this really, really beautiful tune, and everybody... everybody just went just deadly silent and I sat there going, "Oh." Oh, my God, I think he likes you. I do, seriously. I don't think he does. No, I don't think he does, no. Oh, chaperone at 12:00. Next time, there's trouble in paradise. A beautiful stranger arrives. I am a bit flirtatious, but, hey, rules are made to be broken. A handsome rival returns. And I think Mr. Carrington will break my heart. There are fisticuffs galore, and finally the gloves come off. The thing with very good girls is that when they're bad... They're very bad. They're very bad. It's a deliciously naughty time at the Regency House Party. This program was made possible by contributions to your PBS station from: What can you expect? Bottoms up. A storm is brewing as a wealthy heiress joins the party... I am a bit flirtatious, but, hey, rules are made to be broken. A handsome rival returns... I think Mr. Carrington will break my heart. The men conduct a secret fight... This is highly illegal. And one lady... breaks all the rules. Breast, anyone? At the Regency House Party. I'm watching. Captioning sponsored by WNET/THIRTEEN NEW YORK This program was made possible by contributions to your PBS station from: This week in the Regency House, the gentlemen are sneaking off for a secret meeting in the woods. They've got an appointment with their personal trainer, Professor Radford, and local boxing champion Tim Dean, otherwise known as the Kentchurch Bruiser. And then suddenly... Right. Have you clapped yet? Notice the power of the blow... Professor Radford is an expert in Regency sport and has a proposition for the gentlemen that they cannot disclose to the other guests. Jesus, Mr. Dean... This is man's territory, and we're going to talk about the "fancy." The fancy are the center of sporting excitement, sporting risk and daring. If we are able to get, um, two distinguished fighters... We have two fighters. I know of another fighter who might be willing to take on our own... local champion. The prizefight, with its celebration of blood and violence, had fascinated men of all classes throughout the 18th century. But women didn't like it and nor, increasingly, did the law. were to come with their law enforcement officers and take you into custody, the ladies would not be pleased. So... the ladies do not know... but nobody knows... they're essentially illegal. One... two... For the ladies in the house, life is one long round of trimming bonnets and dance lessons. Although they've come to find a husband, Regency routine deprives them of the gentlemen's company for most of the day. This is making it hard for the chaperones to matchmake. Well, you said you thought the countess and Mr. Gorell Barnes were a foregone conclusion. The whole point of a Regency house party of this sort, then, was to get a husband and the best possible husband you could get. One, two, three... The girls would all be in competition with each other trying to secure the best marriage they possibly can. The chaperones would be in competition with each other. The lack of romance means loss of money. Some chaperones were paid to secure the most advantageous marriage for their charge. No match meant no fee. A letter for Mrs. Rogers. To make matters worse, news has arrived of some serious competition: good news for the gentlemen, bad news for the ladies, and disastrous for the chaperones. "Dearest Mrs. Rogers, I hope you will forgive my boldness, "but the presence of Miss Tanya Samuel "is sure to be a welcome addition to your proceedings. "Her beauty, confidence and honesty "make her invigorating company. She remains, however, unattached." I'm making no plans to be agreeable to this young lady. With your charge's interest paramount, I know I'm not going to like her. I shall make sure I don't like her. My name's Tanya Samuel, and I am a modern-day girl who lives a modern-day life. I've got this theory that if you can't wear denim to a job, then it's not worth doing it. "Rules of behavior for ladies: "You must conform to the wishes of your hostess." That depends, doesn't it? That really depends. In the modern world, Miss Samuel runs a successful fashion business. She has a strong sense of her own worth, especially when it comes to men. I'm the type of woman that believes that a man, if they want to take you out, they should take you out. If I go out on a date with anybody and... on that first date I'm expected to pay half the bill, then I would never see that person ever again. "Her beauty, confidence and honesty make her invigorating company." She's been the toast of the capital... What does she want to come here for then? Miss Samuel's luggage is sent on ahead. A wealthy heiress and a beauty as well, she enters the house at the top of the pecking order, a prize catch for any of the gentlemen. The master of the house, Mr. Gorell Barnes, wants his new guest to be warmly received. I think that we should all try and welcome her After all, with her fortune and looks, she could make him the perfect wife. Sensing their hostility, he's meeting with the chaperones in their inner sanctum. Where are you going to put her, Mrs. Rogers? Um... who could double up? The countess has stacks of room. We can all move in with the countess. But... well, I've got... I've got the biggest room, but you can't all move in with me. I've got the biggest bed as well. I presume that she... she would have her own room, being of her wealth and status. Yeah, that's what I would have said. What would you think if we made this into a bedroom? I mean, I don't know how often you use it. About as often as you use the billiard room. It's quite nice to have this room. Yeah. One option is just not having her. It absolutely stinks that somebody walks in and everybody has to shuffle around like... crabs. There are eight other summer parties going on; you'd be honored that she'd chosen ours. You'd go, "Brilliant, wonderful, let's make every effort we can to ensure that she has a nice time." I'll leave it in your capable hands. Yeah. Okay? Okay. She's got birds in there. A bit strange, isn't it? No one else brought pets with them. We could let the cat out. Right, everyone, um, just to officially announce that Miss Samuel will be joining us, um, to stay for the remainder of our stay. And there's been some, um, accommodation rearranging. And what we've... we're in the process of organizing is for Miss Hopkins and Miss Francesca to move into the countess's bedroom and the countess to move into Miss Hopkins' bedroom. And then Miss Samuel will have Miss Francesca's bedroom. The biggest loser in the reshuffle is real-life Countess Griaznov. her title has secured her the grandest room in the house. Well, I think maybe we should keep our own chamber pot. I'll carry that then, shall I? I mean, I'm not happy, because my room is beautiful, and it's one of the big joys of being here is waking up in it every morning. Just... it is gorgeous. Um, but, yeah... The new guest is a potential rival for the heart of Mr. Gorell Barnes, a gentleman whom the countess rightly regards as her natural partner. I get on very well with Mr. Gorell Barnes. Feel like we're head girl and head boy in a strange sort of way, and Mrs. Rogers is headmistress. And to cap it all, Miss Samuel's lovebirds have no respect for the countess's rank. And my new room is just above the new, evil, screechy birds. I wasn't feeling particularly well disposed to her My philosophy on the birds is it's cruel to keep them caged; we should just eat them instead... on toast. Of all the chaperones, Mrs. Enright has the most cause to feel threatened by the new girl. Her charge, Miss Conick, is at the bottom of the pile. Now her prospects of marriage seem remoter than ever. She was a bit upset when she heard that there's another girl arriving. I said, "Why are you upset?" "Well," she said, "I don't quite know why." "Why is that?" "I don't know, dear. I'm honestly just upset for you." And I went, "I'm not upset." Intelligent, beautiful, and wealthy... right up my street. The master comes to inspect the room the chaperones have arranged for Miss Samuel. He is not impressed. I think it's pretty horrible, and I think it would be unfair if she was put in here, so my suggestion is to change... which I'm going to obviously run by with Mrs. Rogers, but it's to change Mrs. Rogers' boudoir into her bedroom, and then I think, the countess will go back to her room, Miss Hopkins will have her room again, and Miss Francesca will be back here. So, I think... it was a mistake, which will cause a big flare-up again, I'm sure. People are being difficult about her, I think. what she's going to let herself in for, does she? Once again it's all change. At the master's insistence, the hostess gives up her bedroom and moves into the boudoir. I should feel the bed. Yes, very important... the bounce. I mean, my other room was quite a lot bigger, but I suppose it's quite odd that I've... the one who's changed, which you wouldn't do in real life, would you? You wouldn't give up your own bedroom. I was going to say "Welcome to the asylum," but maybe I shouldn't; maybe that'll frighten her too much. After days of unrest, sparked by news of her visit, West Indian heiress Miss Samuel finally arrives at the Regency House. Oh, they're throwing... rose petals, red rose petals as she walked up the drive. So I've decided for the next four weeks, I am going to throw rose petals at her feet wherever she walks, I've decided. And she is funny. Well, I'd hardly regard this as good news. Thank you. Afternoon. My first impression of the house... very grand and very... very, very strange. Everything is done for you and you're literally waited on hand and foot, which is something that I could get used to. And I don't know quite how I'm going to be received by the other guests because I'm very, very privileged, just under the countess. I have taken upon myself for the next four weeks to go and gather rose petals and throw them at her feet. My God, how unfair is that? That's the kind of romance that's lacking from my life. She doesn't need deportment lessons, that's for sure. No, she doesn't; she could teach us a thing or two. Just hope she has the personality to match. I think my game's gone off slightly. It's a great opportunity to really experience living the life of a black heiress. It's just nice to be able to actually enter into a house of affluence, and not being a maid or a slave for that matter. Although much of Britain's wealth came from the slave economy, there were prominent black people in Regency society. Queen Charlotte herself was rumored to come from black descent. Because I'm the sort of, if you like, new kid on the block with all this luxury and privilege, I'm feeling a bit... disadvantaged, funnily enough, with all my advantages. That's kind of a bit daunting, really. Regency Britain hardly embraced racial equality. But it had a healthy respect for money, and wealthy plantation owners and their nonwhite children were admitted into society and often considered a great social catch. This is the countess. Hello, nice to meet you. And Miss Braund. Nice to meet you. Then we've got Mr. Foxsmith. Hello, nice to meet you. Mr. Everett. Hi. And Captain Glover... naval captain, so that's quite smart, much smarter than an army captain. I'm distressed at your immediate lack of concern for your interest in my charge. My immediate lack of interest... You're instantly attracted, I saw. I don't know, would you like a drink or cup of tea or something? Provincial life in Regency England could be dull, predictable and very isolating. Any new guest of rank was inevitably the source of much speculation and excitement. The gentlemen are going to leave you to get to know each other, so, um, hope you feel welcome. And do you like your bedroom? It's gorgeous, thanks. Good. Lovely. Okay, see you later. As the guests proceed to dinner, there's a new order of precedence. The host takes Miss Samuel on his arm in place of the countess. In front of our host, we have a turtle soup, and in front of our hostess we have a callaloo soup, which is pork, crabmeat and spicy vegetables. This is our Caribbean-dinner evening in, uh, Miss Samuel's honor to welcome her to Kentchurch. We will be eating sort of sweet Caribbean foods. Dinner during the Regency was served à la française. Rather than a series of courses, sweet and savory dishes were laid out on the table and eaten together. Emphasis was placed on the decorative, by the Prince Regent's French chef, Antoine Carême, large and elaborate sugar sculptures adorn the table as centerpieces. It's a very controversial scene. It's a... a slave plantation, yes. The sugar? Yes, sugar... that employed slaves Although the trade in slaves was abolished in 1807, many of Britain's great country estates were built up on the income from slave-produced sugar, including this one. Now with an abolitionist in the house, the guests must confront the truth behind their lavish lifestyle. You know, once the slaves were captured, the, uh, masters used to try to dehumanize the... the slaves in order to ensure that they became subservient. So they'd be stripped of their names. They'd be... Sometimes the males would be killed Sometimes the babies were thrown overboard and lots of horrific things. I just can't feel guilt or shame or anything for something that I'd never done and ever wanted to do. I can't be guilty for our history. Of course slavery was wrong, but who discusses it as much as we English, Who said it was rude to talk politics at the table? It is rude. Did you enjoy the sugar? You prefer honey, though. Um, I do prefer honey, absolutely, as Mr. Gorell Barnes knows. How much do you have there? Fifty. Okay, so if I give you, um... Early the next morning, preparations for the bareknuckle prizefight get under way. I'm sure you understand the motivation... Captain Glover has put up the purse money for the Kentchurch Bruiser. I'm going to put you through your paces this morning. You're fighting tomorrow, so I take it that what we do today shouldn't be too strenuous. There's been a challenge from another part of the land laid down, so it's a matter of pride and honor. You know, you want your local guy to win, so we're investing time and money in his training to make sure he's in peak condition to ensure victory. Stand still. Since the beginning, Tim Dean has been a gentlemen's personal trainer. He has subjected them to a punishing regime. Now Captain Glover is funding the Kentchurch Bruiser, he's turning the tables on his instructor. I want you to run across there, pick up a shovelful of horse manure and deposit it here. Knees up, knees up. Stand in front of you. Deposit. Good. Knees up, knees up, knees up. Excellent, excellent. 30 stones, 30 yards, in the barrel as quickly as you can. Go! This is good for your wind, Mr. Dean. How are you feeling, Mr. Dean? Is that what I think it is, sir? One aspect of their training is particularly grueling. What are you trying to do, make us sick or something? Purging the body with an emetic to induce vomiting. Now Tim Dean gets a taste of his own medicine. How do you feel? Do you mind if we stand back? And maybe tell you what was in the drink. Just orange juice. Do you think I'd make you feel sick before a match? Breakfast. The issue of sugar crops up again. During the Regency, the campaign to abolish slavery gave rise to a new form of political pressure. The public was urged to boycott plantation products until slaves were free. There's an address to the people about... suggestion of boycotting sugar and tobacco. "The family that uses five pounds of sugar per week "will be abstaining from the consumption 21 months "to prevent the slavery or murder of one fellow creature." Perhaps we'll do it for 24 hours... sugar. 24 hours? Make it a... Okay, well, I'm willing to make that token. I think we'd all very well do without four puddings a day, except Mrs. Rogers, who likes them. We'll all abstain from sugar for 24 hours. I was going to say that. I think that if we are supposed to be a fashionable house, well, I don't think it's actually going to kill anybody to... to... to make a gesture. It doesn't bother me, because I like neither sugar nor tobacco. People have to decide for themselves. That's what I'd like done in this house. I would like people to abstain from sugar and tobacco. I think it should be to people's discretion and most people will do it, given a choice. I'm going to say that there will be no sugar. Was there anyone who didn't want to do it? It wasn't an issue of they didn't want to do it. It was more they thought they should have a personal choice. So Miss Hammond, I think, had a problem with the fact that somebody made a decision for her. But then, you're in a household, so you would be kicked out if you didn't do it. As much as it is a really good debate, there was something far more important. Let me read on, okay. "News has reached the capital "that Mr. Austin Howard "is said to be back in England after a stint in Europe." Yeah, basically there's a really fit bloke "His reputation precedes him. "He's been in and out of the scandal sheets." "His attention to style has been noted." Something of a dandy. In the Regency House, the ladies are all aflutter. Musician and dandy Mr. Austin Howard has arrived. Well, well. Famed for their wit, dandies were invited to house parties to charm and amuse the ladies. How wonderful a greeting. Regency pinups, they were feted like pop stars. Such gaiety. Everyone's very excited about your arrival. Without money or status, there were few opportunities for black people to enter society. Musical talent offered a rare way in. There's a definite lack of musical talent in the house. Is there indeed? Do you play the piano? Uh, no, but I'm going to have... My quartet will be arriving shortly. Well, I'd like to introduce you to everybody. So, what did you think of Mr. Austin Howard, then? Um... Marks out of ten? An 11. Really? G.B.'s only an eight. I was going to say 12, actually. Twelve? There you go. Miss Victoria, 12. Twelve? A 12! Well, I would like the opportunity to get to know him better, but at the moment he's an 8½. Hi. The arrival of an attractive gentleman is a sharp reminder the main objective of a house party... bagging a husband. How are you? That was some welcome you got. Kind of romance issue is not being addressed. We don't really have that much opportunity Firstly, I think we... kind of girls came in here and said, "You know, if it doesn't happen naturally, And the chaperones are saying, "How on earth can we control, "you know, kind of strong, independent, successful women? They're not going do as we tell them to do." Then we'll have a jolly good time. We are going to have a very good time, actually. We're having a good time; we'll have an even better time now. The chaperones should really be encouraged to do a lot more chaperoning and a lot more orchestrating meetings with their charges and... and the gentlemen. Do you... Can I just ask, do you mean... do you mean orchestrating chaperoned time or orchestrating unchaperoned time? Well, I think... I think what should happen is that we can go out with the chaperone... with the man... and the chaperone could, um... yeah, exactly, like, "sprain the ankle." It's from the ladies. Oh, yes? "The dandy will be entertaining the chaperones from 3:00 p.m., "therefore leaving the ladies unsupervised. "Fancy meeting up for a few cheeky lemonades? "Please reply ASAP to Miss Hopkins "should you choose to accept our invitation. Fondest regards, the girls." Hmm. Before they can rendezvous with the ladies, the gentlemen are off on manly business. They're inspecting a secret location for the fight. Walk on. Why is it such a secret event? It's something that the gentlemen get up to It wasn't considered a very gentlemanly thing to do Um, so they had to go in secret and dress down... If you borrow some of Foxsmith's clothes... Foxsmith might lend you some clothes. The professor was telling us that sometimes up to 20,000 people will turn up at these sort events. It's word of mouth, because it's highly illegal. Bareknuckle boxing is against the law... not because of its brutality, but because after the French Revolution, the authorities feared the mob. It's almost like a 21st-century illegal rave, where all these people come and gather and they have a fight and they gamble and they drink and they do everything, but no one knows the location till the last minute. To foil local magistrates, fights were staged on county boundaries. If they intervened, the event simply continued across the border and out of their jurisdiction. This is a far too ruffian event for the ladies to even consider or think about it. It's much better it's kept out of their delicate eyes. As the ladies set out to meet the gentlemen, Mr. Howard has been asked to distract the chaperones. "The charmed ocean's pausing..." "and the waves lie still and gleaming, "and the lulled winds seem dreaming... whose breasts are gently heaving..." Isn't that charming? How nice it was to meet Mr. Howard, who appears to be a charming, urbane, sophisticated and talented young man with marvelous manners. "With a full but soft emotion." He's black... there's no other way of saying that... very handsomely black and with very, very charming manners, um, and a most alluring personality. Are we being stood up here? If we have been stood up I will not be happy. Ah-ha-ha, here we go. Afternoon. Afternoon, sirs. Are we well? We are very well. What do you think of Mr. Howard? All right. A bit freaked by our welcoming committee. I thought it was quite funny. We were thinking that we would at one point organize... and this is where you come in, G.B.... organize, like, a dinner for the chaperones, like, somewhere really far away. Like London? That's about four days away. Can we send them shopping for the day? Miss Samuel's initiative to encourage romance is going to plan, but unchaperoned, Regency decorum is soon abandoned. We should all, like, squash the arms of the men I mean, something that you're not allowed to do. Oh, my God, we've actually touched hands. I like that you've taken off your jackets. Miss Samuel had this idea: "We're going to go up "for an unchaperoned picnic with the boys. "Don't tell the chaperones. We're going to have gin and lemonade." And I was, like, "That's nice, but it's not really bad, is it?" I've got to do something much more extreme. We've got to kind of lead this to another level of badness, because if the worst thing you can do is go without your bonnet or something, you know, that's not really kind of going for it. During the Regency, black musicians performed throughout Europe's concert halls and opera houses. Mr. Howard's quartet is performing a Beethoven sonata. Dawn. Today, the gentlemen of the house will host the fancy, a sporting fraternity drawn to a remote corner of the Kentchurch estate by the promise of a prizefight. Good morning, Professor. Good morning, gentlemen, good morning. Good to see you again. Good to see you indeed. The big day has now arrived. In the Kentchurch Bruiser's camp, Captain Glover is leaving nothing to chance. What's the good diet for this morning before the fight? With blows to the stomach and the solar plexus, the stomach might rebel, so I think a light breakfast. There are bets within the bets that might be, within a round, who goes down first. And who draws first blood... who might lose a tooth. The cook put some special formula into that breakfast, so there's no way you're going to be able to lose. It's magic stuff. Squeeze. No, don't. Can you crush an egg? I definitely have the advantage on the looks front, Oh, my God, it must be terrible. For the time being, so... The master has come to meet the fighter he's backing, Matt "Killer" Skelton. It's almost like that, but they're all... they're like that for the simple fact that obviously you... you can grab as well, whereas in modern-day boxing, there's no holding. In the modern world, the Killer is the heavyweight champion of all England... a title that dates back to Regency times. How's the... how's the fights been recently? I've had seven bouts and seven wins, seven by K.O. They used to call me the, um... the Grizzly Bear. How much do you weigh? At the minute, I'm 18 stone. And do you know how much Dean weighs? I think he's slightly under. I think fitness, really, is on my side. So, for the sake of our wagers, when do you think you're going to... get him? Hopefully, I would have exhausted him Why not just go for the kill in the beginning, just knock him out, first round? The fancy embraced sporting enthusiasts from all classes of society. The Regent himself was a devotee, but so were servants and even highwaymen. Fantastic. Bruiser! Bruiser! The Regency was an age of gambling mania. Gentlemen risked vast fortunes and dismissed their losses with an attitude bordering on the cavalier. Five... five... I'll take the first blood. That's it, I'm closing this book. Gentlemen of the fancy, the first fighter to make his appearance... Bruiser! Bruiser! Will be your local hero and champion... Bruiser! Bruiser! The Kentchurch Bruiser! Bruiser! Bruiser! And now, gentlemen, the challenger will arrive from across a boundary. Give him a Kentchurch welcome, gentlemen. Like music, boxing was another area of Regency life in which black men flourished, and some of the most famous fighters of the age... former slaves... became household names. Bruiser! Bruiser! Bruiser! The favorite tonight, despite what you all think about your local lad, is the Killer... Matthew "Killer" Skelton from Virginia in the United States. Now, many of us... many of us still regard it as "the colonies." They will come back into the empire. It's only a matter of time before they realize the error of their ways. Jeez! Oh, Bruiser! Bruiser! Fighters... set to. Regency boxing predated today's Queensberry rules. Come on, Mr. Dean! Come on, Bruiser! It combined punching with wrestling and was always bareknuckle. Who wants to back the favorite? Who's going to show first blood? First blood! First blood! Time! Rounds continued until one man hit the ground. Bruiser! Bruiser! Here they come. Bruiser! Bruiser! Round 16. Come on! Come on! Fights could last for hours and only ended when one of the pugilists was unable to walk up to the chalk square, hence the expression "squaring up." "The Kentchurch fancy, 22nd of July, 1811." Bruiser! Bruiser! Bruiser! "There's more at stake in this fancy "than the considerable purse of 200 guineas... that of national pride." "To tumultuous applause from a strong loop of pride, the combatants set to." Foul! "A foul was called "after Skelton was seen smashing Dean's head against the ring's post." We'll need the second umpire. Yes or no? Yes or no? Foul! Yeah! As the Bruiser and the Killer slug it out, the gloves are also coming off back at the house. Hi, Mrs. Rogers. Determined to attract the master's attention, the countess approaches her chaperone with an immodest proposal. And I know you'll appreciate this because, as we've discussed before, we're both very good girls at school. The thing with very good girls is that when they're bad... They are very, very bad. Yes, absolutely. with this very Regency Regency idea, but only one that can be played by a lady of very, very high status. So, the precedent for it is that very naughty lady, Lady Caroline Lamb, who, over dinner apparently, either at Lord Melbourne's or at some other country house, served herself up... as one of the courses. Yes, I'm feeling faint, I'm feeling faint! But... My first thought is, "What was she wearing?" Well, "Not very much" is the answer, because she was meant to be eaten. So... she will be covered... I'm delighted to hear that. But by fruits, vines, etc. And apparently she came in on a silver platter, but I don't know if we could quite manage that. But you must be decent. I mean, she presumably must have been married when she did it. Mmm, so I will have... I will be covered. So you've got to be relatively careful that you are not so shocking that you become unmarriageable. Yes, that's true. Come on, Yankee! Come on! Leave your man down. He's going to get up. Leave your man down. The Kentchurch Bruiser did not come to scratch on time. Gentlemen, I authorize the purse holder to hand over his 200 guineas to today's victor, Matt Skelton. Killer... well done, sir. Fantastic fight. Fantastic fight. Fantastic fight. Mr. Gorell Barnes is... is a very attractive man. And he looks fantastic in his Mr. Darcy outfit, I have to say... very decorative and elegant. is very against the idea of men and women just being friends and... and talking to each other a lot. And I think, yeah, we're still kind of quite playful, because you need a bit of excitement in the house, because otherwise, it is a bit boring. You need someone to dress for dinner for. How wonderful. Definitely some people didn't even know it was me. And then some were, like, "Is that the countess?" Oh, my God! Is that your real bust, then? I couldn't see people's reactions; I could just hear. I just don't think they knew what to do with themselves. Welcome to Disney, Princess. I'm hoping the chaperone reaction isn't too extreme, because of course, it is very bad behavior. Very seductive. Very seductive, isn't she? Ladies and gents, shall we raise our glasses to the countess to drink to, uh... rude food? Rude food. I think everyone thinks the Regency is a very Jane Austen kind of time and everyone being prim and in bonnets, but then there were certain people who had a lot more fun. Oi, oi, I'm watching. The latest technology arrives at the Regency House. The Regency was an age distinguished for applying scientific theory to practical use. It saw the building of the first proper roads, railways and the high-pressure steam engine. Even on the domestic level, there were very important breakthroughs. This newfangled invention called a shower has arrived at Kentchurch Court. It is literally the first time that I feel properly, properly clean in 6½ weeks. For people who had only known the light of the sun and the flicker of candles and oil lamps, gaslights were awesome, even frightening. By 1814, London's Piccadilly was lit up with gas, but only the more progressive houses had the new lights indoors. "The gas not only burns with a lighted taper "it is brought into contact with, but it explodes with all the violence of gunpowder." And now I'm sitting in a house with one of these contraptions. because these things are going to go poof and kill us all. Sorry to bother you, sir. A package has arrived. Oh. Thank you very much. it's a fantastic white light comes out of that. I think we could get up to some mischief with this, you know. Scientists were becoming celebrities... And scientific experiments became popular in the home. Mr. Gorell Barnes, I'd like to propose this gentleman... Mr. Foxsmith wants his Regency host to devote a week "Scientific experimentation gives a unique opportunity "for young men and women to cooperate unchaperoned. "I'm sure this fact as well as your keenness for information Foxsmith has already been using science as a pretext to woo one lady in particular... Chaperone Lady Devonport. I do find other people's enthusiasms and passions very attractive. That will help doing the experiments so we don't go blind, because that... He's here because he is a scientist and he is interested in the sort of dawn of science as it was then. Right, I feel some experiments coming on shortly. Some explosive experiments, I hope. Just fantastic rants... they're very, very funny, they're absolutely marvelous. But they might think they were slightly mad if you were someone who didn't appreciate just how colorful and delicious somebody being that... kind of interested in something is. What's the state of play with Lady Devonport? Eh, quite an old married couple by now. Married couple by now, are they? I'm sure it'll be a long-standing affair. Well, I mean, I know that comments were made about how public their affection for each other was becoming, um, but unfortunately, I'm not sure that I've noticed much curtailing of that public display. They said they weren't going to curtail any public display. Oh, dear, I think I've got a thorn. Ordinarily, Lady Devonport and Mr. Foxsmith should not be seen exchanging intimacies. But the pursuit of science lends their growing relationship the veneer of respectability. I can't breathe in this waistcoat. Are they falling in love? I mean, I did... I did think about this. I think there would be a possibility that perhaps they would, yeah. I think it would be rather sweet, because he's a bit bonkers and she's a bit bonkers, The logic was that the sun was always there; no matter which side of the Earth the sun was. But in order to get darkness, a veil was drawn across it and there was tiny rips in that imperfect veil. In those tiny rips the sun shone through, which is why you've got the stars. "Imperfect veil." I love the idea of a ripped, imperfect veil. To use that somehow, that you could peer through the veil and find... find the things and, um, jewels of the sky... Jewels in the sky, something like that. Lady Devonport and Foxsmith are writing a tribute to their Regency counterparts, whose passion was to make sense of their world. There's the Pleiades, and there's the... Where knowledge was scarce, Regency scientists were not afraid to reach into the realms of the imagination. "An aerial ballet every night, the theater of the skies "on an indigo velvet backdrop, its dance before our eyes, "Eternal light and loveliness, motion that won't fail, Looking up to heaven through the tears in the imperfect veil." Oh...! All I've got to say is: Are you having a laugh? Regency menstruation is so not a good look. It is disgusting, damp and unbearable. I don't know how on earth they put up with it. This is just not going to work... because it does that and, um... I'm sorry, but this... it's just going to... that... it's going to last two minutes. I was dreading this, and now I know why. First of all I thought it'd be okay, but it is ridiculous. I couldn't even put the thing on properly. You've got to tie it, for crying out loud. How on earth do they expect anybody Women often retreated to their rooms throughout menstruation, the excuse being given that they were "indisposed." Because we are both married ladies and very experienced married ladies, we'd like to tell you this evening about the birds and the bees. the chaperones are giving their ladies a Regency biology lesson. But before you even consider birds or bees, you must get a title. It is the only thing that matters. Where you get them from, it doesn't matter, but the older, the crummier, the nearer death the titleholder is, the more fun you will have. I kind of have become kind of quite giggly and girlie It's like I have regressed into a childhood thing, and the idea of kind of being a sexually attractive woman to somebody, um... it kind of doesn't sit right, it doesn't feel right, and, you know, I kind of find it quite disturbing that somebody may perceive me in that way. Someone who certainly does see heiress Miss Hopkins in that way In Regency terms, they're a perfect match. Well, it just happens that the first few days, me and Miss Hopkins sort of felt a connection, and, uh... and it's really difficult talking with the guys, because... I probably shouldn't be saying this, but, well, I'm a bit pissed, but you know, blatantly, me and Miss Hopkins have had a bit of a... bit of a snog on a couple of occasions. Now, we have here some little pieces of equipment you might think are little mini-reticules. You'd be right, because they are. They're handy for odd guinea Condoms were called "French letters," because they arrived flat in the post and were a defense against syphilis, the "French disease." They were only ever used with prostitutes. Thankfully, no men in this house Oh, don't you believe it, Miss Hopkins. Regency men were encouraged to be sexually active. Their prospective wives, however, were not. The more I learn about men, the more I just think, "You know what? I can't be bothered with you." Like, why does anyone ever get married? Goodness knows why they did in the Regency times, because you know, they'd be forced to have loads of children, so... Well, not that they had much contraceptive choice anyway, but you know, the men would be desperately trying to produce No, thank you, I'll steer well clear of that. The constraints placed on the women are felt all the more keenly because of their lack of physical activity... something that was never a problem for Regency men. Master of the house Mr. Gorell Barnes has challenged his footmen to a game of Regency football. Oh, we're going to slaughter them. Very simple... we'll just tell them to get out of the way. If they have the ball, we'll tell them to stop. We'll just take the ball and kick them in the goal. It wasn't all plain sailing for the men. The pressure was on to play hard and rough. Excuse me! Wig off, that's a foul. Are any of you bruised from your exertions? I've got a torn calf muscle, and I nearly fell off the horse this morning. The first port of call in the event of injury would be the local bonesetter, or surgeon. This is the amputation saw. This is only for the bone. Surgeons came in three classes: the educated elite, the doctor surgeon and the old-fashioned traveling surgeon, who might also be a barber or blacksmith. Gallstones. Indeed, sir, so you are... you are well informed. What are they for? Gallstones. It is inserted until it reaches the bladder, and then upon reaching the bladder it is flipped over... To lie against the base of the bladder, and we then take a suitable knife and cut you. The best practitioners could have a stone out in a minute. You have to operate quickly. Because of the pain? That's right. I have some gallstones. Have you indeed? Yeah, I mean, if you want to... Would any of you be bled? Bad blood was believed to be the root of all ills, so bloodletting became a common remedy. The leeches will attend to any bruises. Leeches were applied for everything... fever or a hangover or even to freshen the body for spring. Now we'll see whether he wants to play. Oh, something's happening. Do you feel a bite? Mmm, it's sort of a tickling bite. Feeling it a bit? Fluffy. Oh, that's it, yeah, he's engaged. Has he bitten? Yeah, no, I feel that, definitely. Is he heading for the kill? Can someone hold this? It does make you more attractive. Definitely makes you... a man with a leech on his arm is, you know, irresistible. I thought it would be nice if, um, we could all see each other properly. God, I can see you all for the first time. You're all rather beautiful, aren't you? Gas. Joining the party is Regency House physician Dr. Kevin Ilsley. Physicians were gentlemen. They were educated and expensive, but with limited practical ability, they often did their patients more harm than good. Women would write gloomily about being pregnant again and the dangers that were inherent in it. So they were really entering a sort of vale of death, really. Yeah, well, yes, they were, and there was... there was that threat, and of course, it was... it was no respecter of persons. I mean in... in 1817 we had Princess Charlotte... at the age of 21 she had a long and lingering death as a result of childbirth. The other thing that is so different from today is the number of children that women had... an average of six or seven, and of course, the... the havoc that that wreaked with their anatomy in scarring and so on, which must have made... Oh! intercourse, lovemaking quite... Painful and unpleasant as time went on. One in three women died in childbirth. I had no idea it was as desperate as that. That is so terrifying, to imagine that... Oh, dear, I can hardly put my head around that. I'm Mr. Foxsmith. Very pleased to meet you. In 1816 Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein, the story of a scientist who made a monster out of body parts and brought it to life with electric shocks. Mercury to work the electric motor. This is a battery here? Copper, zinc and this with acid on it? That's right. Right, this is all excellent-looking stuff. Foxsmith is taking delivery of some early electrical apparatus. Um... oh, come over here and have a look at this. You might be well impressed, actually, if you want to make electricity. You might be quite good at this. You can hold it, hold there, and I can hold this, and I thrust... To Regency men and women, these were fashionable toys. They also experimented with electric shocks to treat ague, blindness and hysteria. Do we get to electrocute anybody? We've got plenty of footmen that are willing... to volunteer for that. Good, good... that's what I like, willing footmen. Bend over. "Oh, they're so naughty!" Early scientists also used kites in an attempt to harness electricity from lightning. Foxsmith is preparing a tribute to these brave men. He's also hoping to generate a spark among the group. So, are you going to go for Everett then or what, Miss Hopkins? No. No? No. Why is my love life the topic of today's discussion? - Really. - I'm sorry. I just I mean, I'm quite happy being single, thanks. I think Mr. Everett's great. He has a heart of gold. He's just an all-around great guy. This place is like living in a fairy tale... and... I could see myself being swept up in it all and... it scares me... it really, really scares me. Kite makers... Sorry, I was on my way to my bath and a letter's arrived which I thought we'd all like to hear. It's rather good news. Um, it's from our friend Mr. Carrington. Who is coming back to join us. He enjoyed his time so much at Kentchurch over the weekend that "I can't wait to get back there and be amongst such illustrious company." So isn't that good news? Very good news. Everyone happy? You know, it'll be nice to have some music back in the house. And that's the only reason? And a nice, happy, smiling face. On his earlier weekend visit, musician Mr. Carrington touched a chord with Miss Hopkins. When Mr. Carrington came for the weekend, it was like a breath of fresh air walking into this house. Something just kind of clicked inside me, and, um... and, uh... The hostess's companion, Miss Martin, is helping Miss Hopkins make a love token to greet Mr. Carrington. This looks wicked great. Chaperone Mrs. Hammond is so thrilled at the prospect of having an attractive musician back at the house, she's hired a grand piano. This is just what we needed. Perfect. Music has ever been a conduit for amour. But a Regency musician only had the social advantages of a senior servant... hardly a suitable candidate for Miss Hopkins. I've just spilt yellow paint everywhere. Does it hide it? Ah, that's really, really nice. Nice. Ladies, gentlemen. Oh! Well, that's a proper piano. Oh, that's so good. Anyway, come on, come and have a drink and then sort of settle in. Thank you so much. That's so amazing. I can't believe it. "Here's a little something from me to you "to welcome you back to Kentchurch Court. "It's good to have you back, mate. Fondest regards, Miss Hopkins." Look at this tambourine she's done. That is so amazing. "Follow the beat of your heart." God, I'm really getting blown away today. I want to go home. I want to go home. Foxsmith's scientific kite-flying initiative has had the desired effect. He's finally got the women out of the house and away from the chaperones... except, of course, Lady Devonport. Okay, you ready? You ready? Come on, fly! Yeah! Oh, no! I'm really, really pleased that he's back. He just breathes a ray of sunshine. The atmosphere is just electric. It never works... Go, go! You're looking very beautiful, Lady Devonport. This isn't only the search for faster, higher, keener, better, better-looking; this is the search for truth. Come on, you two! They're getting better with kites. They're understanding forces better. By understanding forces better, they're understanding the planets better. By understanding the planets better, they're understanding their own universe better. By understanding their own universe better, they're understanding their own world better. By understanding their own world, they're understanding themselves better. It's not just about flying a kite here. Ready, go! Yes! Oh, go! Oh! Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to a scientific and proven method of this Regency period. A certain Mr. Fowler states that "Is it not the duty of young persons, "before entering a proper marriage state, "to know the characteristics and dispossession of those who are their partners?" Phrenology, an early 19th century attempt to read a person's character by plotting the bumps on their head... a must for those looking to find the perfect husband. Nicely. Sorry. Couldn't you try to be nice? What, like that? Yeah. This is science; it's not meant to be a head massage. Thanks to Mr. Foxsmith's unfailing efforts to use science to inspire passion, Miss Hopkins gets to make a move on Mr. Carrington. You have clean hair, which is great. Honestly, you don't have very many lumps on your head. Did you not have any bumps when you were a child? I'm kind of perfect, you know? And I just sat there; no one came up to touch my head, so after about a couple of minutes I thought, "I'm not going sit here and wait for someone or go and ask somebody if they wanted to feel my head." I'd rather just, um, come and breathe some night air and, uh, hopefully that'll... that nonsense and, you know... we'll do something else for the evening. Mr. Everett would be the more sincere, truer, genuine kind of guy, and I think Mr. Carrington will break my heart. The countess has invited anatomist Gunther von Hagens The Regency was, after all, the age that invented the autopsy. "Liebe Comtesse, I am very pleased "that you have taken the time to send me correspondence "from your Kentchurch house party. the detail and functioning of our bodies." "My work with plastinates is as unique as the first steps taken by earlier anatomists." "I look forward to meeting you. Professor Gunther von Hagens." Ladies, I've taken the liberty of inviting a special guest who's an anatomist... called Professor von Hagens, to Kentchurch. He's going to come here? The one that strips the muscles and... I presume that his demonstration will take place after dinner. He's so controversial. Demonstration of what? I would very much like him to do a dissection of some description. It'll be absolutely fascinating to see what he brings with him. Professor von Hagens arrives. The many medical breakthroughs that were made at this time were made by men like him... men who looked inside corpses to identify the causes of disease. He could be a bit of a disturbing dinner guest. Definitely don't think he should be sitting next to Mrs. Rogers, actually. God, this is going to be much more... yes, worrying than I'd thought. Medical advance led to a growing demand for bodies. But the law restricted supply, opening the way for grave robbers. When new legislation allowed for paupers to be anatomized, there was a public outcry against all who meddled with the dead. The fear that people have against dead bodies... Something that's rotting and something that's decaying, there is a huge instinctive urge to just keep away from it. How soon after death has occurred do you start working? Well, in the summertime... In the wintertime, even five, six weeks, as long at the body is kept cool, when there is some green coloration, I still can fix it with chemicals. Professor von Hagens' speciality is plastination... the use of chemical resins to preserve bodies in dramatic poses. And do you have plans to have yourself plastinated? Certainly. I dissected a good friend of mine. He died with the age of 48. He never thought of becoming plastinated until he got carcinoma of the kidney. And then he said, "Well, I'm too young to go to the cemetery. So I tried to do it, because I felt obliged. But I must say, in terms of mourning work... to come over his death, to digest his death... it was very successful. he stretches across the barrier of death. Bodies were expensive, and anatomists had to pay for their research. They raised money by entertaining wealthy patrons with demonstrations of their work. I just take the people apart in my mind... before I even take the scalpel in my hand. In this way I'm an artist. In this way I'm a sculptor. As you say, you can look at somebody, you can see the different layers, you know. And we're not used to looking at a person and seeing them in that way. I know what is inside, you know. Look, when I take a lady's shoulder I know exactly what is now between my finger and my thumb. You mentioned you might look at somebody you see a muscle move and you know what's adjacent to that. Have you had the experience with anybody tonight? Oh, yes. Did you see here the muscle... how it comes up? Please swallow again. When this comes up, it's very... Exciting? I was kind of sat opposite the professor. He was eating a blackberry fool at the time, and he just kind of looked directly at me. He looked me straight in the eye, and he raised his eyebrow. And, um, you know when you kind of see somebody looking at you and you think, "They're looking at me," and they're thinking, "I want you for your body"? Well, he was thinking that, but for all the wrong reasons. The body is so complex, and there is so much unknown. The more I learn anatomy, the more anatomical questions are generated. So, for me the body is more of a secret than for you. Yes. The professor has invited the guests to make close inspection of his plastinates. Von Hagens' inspiration was the French artist Honoré Fragonard. Fragonard plastinated a complete horse and rider using liquid metals in the 1790s. I'd like to bring you back into the Regency time of Frankenstein. With the electricity just invented at this time, just discovered, that there was in the mind of the people it could perhaps bring to life kind of newly put-together body out of parts... out of body parts. In this way, I am more than Frankenstein. I don't need the kind of electric blunder. I animate the body not by electricity but by putting them in lifelike pose. The most significant advance of Regency anatomy was in understanding the female body. Until then, a woman's body was seen simply as an inferior version of a man's. I wonder who she was. Oh, don't start thinking things like that. because that's the thing he was saying, that... Funny enough... it looks like a model, do you know what I mean? It doesn't look real. Do you get that feeling? It doesn't look like a real human being. Wow. I feel compelled to look and look and look and look and look. Apparently the eye is a third real, a third glass, and all... the eyelashes are two-thirds real. every single other thing is completely real. Lady Devonport takes the lead! Don't push me! The seat needs to be about here. Well, these were built by dangerous people As the Regency House science event gathers momentum, Mr. Foxsmith introduces another innovation to the party... the velocipede. It was the custom of men of fashion to show off by strutting about on contraptions like these. Right, who's going to win this race? I don't know... Actually, I think Mr. Everett. I pick Carrington to win. Do you? Well, I think Everett to win. My money's on Everett on this one. Do you reckon? both contenders have a history of dislike for each other. Rivals for the affections of Miss Hopkins, Everett and Carrington are set to battle it out It's a two-horse race... anything could happen. Come on, pedal. Oh, no, run, I mean. What are we supposed to do here? Oh, no! Everett, you have to pick that up. Come on, Everett. Keep up. Oh, he's missed the footman. Nice action with the steering. Oh! Brilliant. No, they're going through it anyway. Excellent race. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. Mr. Everett and I wouldn't kind of go anywhere, and one of the reasons why I am so sure about that is because I've had the chance to meet Mr. Carrington. Being a 21st-century girl, I'm also frightened of being hurt So all I can do is be myself and try and spend time with him. Um, maybe, kind of using the purpose of the game, try to get my chaperone to engineer some time so we can genuinely spend time to getting to know each other, because at the end of the day we haven't spent that much time together. On your marks... get ready... Hypnotherapist Tom Fortes-Mayer arrives at the Regency House. Mesmerists, as they were then called, were doctors of the heart and mind. Many were fashionable quacks; others were motivated by genuine scientific inquiry. Now you may soon find your mind begins to wander. My words as a melody may move through your system. Leaving romance aside, Mr. Carrington returns to his first love, music. He's reliving an historic hypnotic experiment. And I want you imagine that whilst you play, actually you can see the energy, that magnetism, that movement moving from your soul through that instrument. Mozart wrote the opera Così fan tutte while being hypnotized by the famous Anton Mesmer. Mr. Fortes-Mayer will have equal success with him. and create some power, some change you could make Yes, a piece of music, but the fact that it went to changing some aspect of this world, something that you could be proud in doing, to which your music could stand as a testament to your position. Mr. Carrington and I ended up in a clinch last night... and I quickly scurried off to bed to prevent any further... um, misdemeanors. seven, eight, open your eyes, nine, ten, wide awake, wide awake. Whoa. that Mr. Carrington blabbed about it to all the boys and Mr. Everett took great umbrage, which is not surprising at all. While waiting for his own hypnotically inspired music Carrington plays Così fan tutte to the ladies. Turn. I saw him as a threat to what I was trying to achieve here, as far as certainly one lady is concerned. Anyway, it was clear there was an encounter between Carrington and Hopkins last night. That's cool. because I can finally stop thinking about this woman. And now the ballpark is open again for me. She's a really, really lovely person, and she's got a heart of gold. I'm not reciprocating something that she wants. I can't do it in here and I... To any deep extent, it's just not possible. And... you know, um, the more I'm pushed, you know, by someone or something, then probably the quicker I'll recoil. I would like to be there as a protector and also to note down anything that I see. I can't wait. Foxsmith is making preparation for an intimate ghost watch for two. No... stay. I need a large cruet of wine and two glasses next to the bed. Because Lady Devonport is so much older, she certainly has a lot more instincts and she can see things and understand people. She's a perfect person. And we just connected to each other completely, I think, the first time we met. And I do love Lady Devonport. The party gather to celebrate the culmination of their week of science. they were completely aware that the sun had spots and the spots were going across the face of the sun. Foxsmith has contrived a human orrery. It proved to them that the sun in fact wasn't stationary but turning round and round and round and that Earth turns around once a day... turn around once a day. Orreries were mechanical models used to demonstrate the rotating orbits of the planets. The next planet we get is... Can we have Venus over here... Venus, the goddess of love? Ladies and gentlemen, look far with science, look more clearly with science. A round of applause to all of our volunteers who were planets. There we are. It was a very nice note saying she was definitely one of the reasons for coming back, because she's just a great laugh... but that I just didn't feel comfortable pursuing anything. There's kind of not really that much chemistry between Mr. Carrington and I. I think maybe it was just the kind of excitement and I know that he's certainly not giving me any indication that it's reciprocated on his side. You know, we've got this really bizarre situation where Everett likes me and I don't like him, and I like Mr. Carrington and he doesn't like me. I've always said, you know, I know, when I meet somebody, I know. But actually, I've been wrong, and it's... and it's kind of quite hard to admit that to yourself, that that kind of gut instinct isn't always right, and sometimes I've really missed. And maybe in my past life, you know, in my past I've missed opportunities that maybe I should have taken advantage of. It's not all about that chemistry, that spark, because that doesn't last forever. For Miss Hopkins' chaperone, Lady Devonport, She's preparing for her secret rendezvous with Mr. Foxsmith. I've spent the last ten years of my life trying very hard not to get attached to people. And it has made me think, I actually can open up and be passionate and I think it's not going to kill me; it is all right, and I'm really grateful for that. And if anybody sees you, you can say you're going midnight riding. I would say I do love him. I think he's a really lovely person and I really do mind about him. Lady Devonport. Foxy. So soon. Glass of wine. Thank you. Would you join me? Here's to scientific research. Absolutely. Next time, take your battle stations. Oops, sorry. It's war. How dare she despise me? Who does she think she is? Time at the house party is almost up, but many are still lost in the maze of love. Well, I wish it could be me, but it isn't. I love every part of her. Will this storybook tale of dating and mating have a happy ending? He actually proposed to me. It's the spectacular grand finale, next time at the Regency House Party. Would you like breakfast for two, sir? This program was made possible by contributions to your PBS station from: When ten single men and women go back 200 years in time to look for romance, what can you expect? Battle stations, everyone... Oops, sorry. How dare she despise me; who does she think she is? Perhaps you could have a duel. But once the peace returns, will our storybook tale have a happy ending? He actually proposed to me. Find out on the spectacular grand finale at the Regency House Party. Would you like breakfast for two, sir? Captioning sponsored by WNET/THIRTEEN NEW YORK This program was made possible by contributions to your PBS station from: Week seven: the gentlemen strut their military prowess to the delight of the eligible women and their chaperones. Our party is reliving the year 1815. Britain has been at war with France for 23 years. A whole generation has grown up against a background of military conflict. The hostilities have exacted a terrible price. A higher percentage of the population has died than in the First World War. Fire. We're aiming at Napoleon. He's our number-one public enemy. He's dead. I've never shot with these before. Be quite interesting, I think. The flintlock musket that Mr. Carrington is loading was fired at the Battle of Waterloo. When you're ready. Just fire the trigger? Yeah. Ooh! Ooh... Phew! Man, I've got the shakes. That's scary stuff there. That was a lot of fun. Bearing in mind they'd fire off three rounds a minute, in the line he'd be all over the place, wouldn't he? Yeah. With his... recoil. That's probably not very good. standing still next to me than flopping around the place. Yeah, that would be sensible. In 1815, Napoleon met his Waterloo. But victory in Europe did not bring peace at home. 300,000 servicemen, destitute and hungry, returned to a homeland bankrupt after the long campaign. Mobs roamed the countryside, stealing from the large estates. As there was no police force, local militia were used to protect property. One of these volunteer armies, made up of farmers and local laborers, has come to drill with the gentlemen, ready to confront the growing civil unrest. Charge bayonets. Huzzah! Straighten those bayonets. Militia and volunteers, shoulder arms. Prepare to advance in ordinary time. Forward... march. Left, right. Left, right. Left, right. Look to your dressage, gentlemen. Chaperone Mrs. Enright, once an army officer herself, casts a critical eye over the troops. Well, it was the first day on the parade square but I thought Mr. Foxsmith yawning on parade was something I'd have had him marched to the guard room for. And as for Mr. Gorell Barnes, five minutes behind everyone else, ten minutes, 15. They need to smarten up very considerably. March. Left, right. Left, right. Left, right. Left, right. And halt. Halt. Apart from the pace and step, it was perfect. Oops, sorry. Right... and halt. Halt. Master of the house, Mr. Gorell Barnes, invites his guests to celebrate Napoleon's downfall. Joining them is historian Andrew Roberts, an expert on the wars. I'd just like everyone to know this is a dinner in celebration of the fine victory at Waterloo. And also I'd like to welcome Mr. Roberts to Kentchurch. I hope you enjoy dinner and your stay. So, um... enjoy your dinner. Ma'am, this evening we have soupe la reine, escargot bourgogne... Despite the conflict, it remained fashionable to pepper conversation with French words and serve French food. So what do you make of the spread? After dinner, the table is transformed into the battlefield of Waterloo. almost as much is psychology as is military strategy. These action replays of the Duke of Wellington's finest hour were popular. Andrew Roberts describes the moment when, after ten hours, the tide of battle turned. imperial guard marched straight through the center... Emperor Napoleon was certain that by deploying his crack troops, the Imperial Guard, he would annihilate the allied forces. However, what he didn't appreciate was Wellington's brilliant ploy which was that on the reverse slopes were, hidden behind them, large forces of British infantry. Gentlemen. And they were asked to stand up and suddenly present their many thousands of muskets to pour a withering fire into the front ranks. I just don't believe we have any concept of it in our time. I was thinking about World War I And we think that's a long time. 23 years. It was just the weirdest idea. which was a massive central thrust through the enemy center. And it wasn't just the men who went to war. I didn't realize the actual sort of girlfriends of soldiers would literally follow behind their brigade and go in and save their loved one in a moment of sort of desperation. I mean, these were just fields of complete kind of bloodshed, and just bodies and limbs and things everywhere. And how they actually worked out how close they were, I don't really understand, but it must have been terrifying. The women also went onto the battlefield... to rob and murder the enemy wounded. Andrew Roberts has brought back their gruesome spoil. And here, a selection of human teeth. These were actually, all of them, taken from the battlefield at Waterloo. They were ripped out of the faces of the... and then they were taken back to London and sold to dentists. I found the teeth particularly kind of moving and extraordinary and the horribleness of actually taking them out and making use of them, is really not something that 21st-century people really can probably deal with very well. Here is a cavalry saber. You did not use it to point as you charge so much as to try to slash as you went by. There is something about a perfectly balanced killing tool, which is actually rather thrilling, like it or not. Nonetheless, he would have understood as he visited those... those blighted fields... The Battle of Waterloo brought the Napoleonic Wars to an end. After the years of conflict, soldiers and sailors like Captain Glover, tried to reestablish their life at home. actually to be found on the battlefield. For many, finding a wife was a priority. For Glover, his hopes and desires have fallen on Miss Lisa Braund. There were quite a few times in the first week or so that I did find it very difficult And vice-versa, when she was finding things difficult, and I've been there for her as well. So the relationship has come out of just people caring for each other. There's an old saying, isn't there, that if you love somebody they'll love you back. This is really, really sweet. It just made me laugh. Captain Glover is hoping to entertain the house party, and in particular Miss Braund, by restaging the Battle of Trafalgar. He has a personal connection with Nelson's famous victory over the French. As a child, I was told of... by a distant relative of ours... Captain Blackwood, who was a captain and served with Nelson at the Battle of Trafalgar. And he was actually captain of the ship Aureleus, while not one of the ships involved in the battle itself, it was the flagship that gave, sort of, the important messages to tell the fleet where to go and where not to go. So that's sort of family connection, and I got more and more interested in what actually happened and what went on. A naval officer could make large amounts of money by capturing enemy ships. It was one of the few ways in which a gentleman could dramatically improve both his financial standing and his rank in Regency society. "Dear Captain Glover, we are writing to inform you that your prize of £50,000 has now matured." "This is a reward for your gallantry in war." Some news from London. I've had a letter from my solicitor... informing me that my prize money has come, has matured... For capturing a ship during the war. Marvelous. And, uh... so there's a sum of £50,000... Bloody hell. sitting for me in London. Under the Cruises and Convoys Act of 1708, the captain who captures a ship... the captain and the crew get two-thirds of the value, so it would be the cargo and also the ship itself would be worth a lot of money. And it's been suggested that, um... seeing as I've been so faithful and such a patron for the Tory Party that I should buy myself a title with it. A baronetcy. Excellent. So I've already instructed my solicitors to proceed. Have a look at that. Obviously, the status in the house Just wondering what your thoughts are on that, and... how it should be announced to the rest of your guests. I don't know, I'll have to check it out. I think... I think that, um... So that makes it you're the second-most important person in the house now, doesn't it? Does that mean I get wine slightly quicker or I can go horse riding whenever I want or... I'm not sure. Perhaps we could redecorate your bedroom in honor... I like it the way it is. Perhaps you could give me yours. No chance. So we'll just keep that under our hats until... Wait till you get it and then, uh... Yeah. Glover's fortune of £50,000 would be the equivalent You can buy me a bottle of champagne, dear boy. Yeah. Well done. After the defeat of Napoleon, the arrival of the daily newspaper... always a big event in a country house... brought home the terrible carnage of the war. Look, here's the wounded. "Lieutenant General, the Earl of Uxbridge, severely wounded, Major General Cookson, severely, left arm amputated." Fancy being at home and reading that. You know, being a member of the family or something and just getting that. Amazing losses, yes. In the upper section of society there would be in the next generation Also pathetically concerned about the horses. Oh, terrible. Terrible carnage. And the regimental farrier would cut off the right foreleg of every horse, the hoof, which was marked with its army number, so they could tot up what your equine casualties were your regiment was entitled to... the remounts. And some people kept their hooves and you have them for inkwells... Yes, inkwells, yes, yes. You get them in antique shops. They're very moving, I find. Very moving. Very sad. Master of the House, Mr. Gorell Barnes, is setting out on his regular patrol of his country estate. his property would have swallowed up smaller farms leaving most local people totally dependent on him. He would even tell them how to vote. he would give his tenants and servants a well-earned holiday. Morning. I've got good news. We're going to have a fair on Saturday, and all the servants are having the day off. So, um, from 12:00 on Saturday until basically you wake up on Sunday morning. So there's to be no protocol from them. They will be as, you know, as we are to each other, if you like. We'll be naked; we won't be able to get dressed. You'll have to help each other. Oh, good plan. undoing each other's corsets before then. Apart from Christmas, this was the only official holiday a servant had in the whole year. And we're all really, really excited, and we don't have to wear our hats, and we don't have to wear our aprons anymore because they're our marks of service. This is very exciting. The summer fair was the highlight of the year, and for the men and women of the house party, this is a rare occasion to spend the day together. With everybody off to the fair, the house is an open invitation to burglars, risky with so many desperate ex-servicemen roaming the land. These deterrents may not look that effective close up, but from afar they did give some impression there were people in the house. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the fair. lots of fun games, drinking, lots of fine food. So I just hope you all enjoy yourselves. Charge your glasses and have fun. Go! Go on, girls! She's storming ahead. She wants that dress. Every fair had a smock race. Well done. For the poorer women, this is more than a game. It would cost a maid three weeks' wages to buy enough material to make this simple dress. Miss Lisa Braund has personally embroidered it. Go on, Jack! Go on, Jackson! Let me take your blind, poor thing. Yes, in your own time. Another traditional game was climbing a pole covered in duck grease to win a flitch of bacon. Come on, Zack! Come on, Zack! For the workers, living on vegetables with the occasional broth made from bones, a juicy cut of meat would have been a rare treat. Come on, Geoff. Well-done, Geoffrey. For a few hours, master and servant are equal. Head down, Carrington. And here for the first time, maid and mistress are allowed to mix socially. I mean, you're still sort of smiling at us all. You sort of... you must work so hard. It's been a really lovely day because it's been a chance to just to speak to the maids sort of as people which is very nice, and they've let their hair down, literally. But, yeah, you can't ever ignore them because you actually do feel slightly because we're all these big helpless children without them. They dress us in the morning and send us off and then at night they undress us I have my maids often leaning out the window going, Come inside immediately and put your bonnet on." So it's that kind of relationship. Come on, Carrington! Come on! Carrington, go, go, go! Captain Glover takes advantage of the relaxation of protocol. That's not very Regency, Miss Braund. It's not the first time the captain has kissed Miss Lisa Braund. Uh... uh... Who... who... who told you that? Uh, yes, he did try and kiss me. Stop it. But, you know, he's a very tactile person, anyway. So this whole hands-off stuff doesn't seem to work with Captain Glover. No, he's, um, yes, twice, actually. At one point Mrs. Hammond did turn round and went, "Are you kissing Captain Glover?" And I was like, "No, he's trying to kiss me." Captain Glover has paid special attention to Miss Braund, a lady of modest means. With his prize money, of which she is unaware, he would be an excellent catch for her, but Miss Braund's affections have lain elsewhere. I really used to like Mr. Everett and I know that he really liked Victoria, and there was a whole kind of triangle thing going on and Victoria was trying to get me and Mr. Everett together. I really had a crush on him. I thought, "My God, this guy is amazing." Now I just think, no, he's a really nice bloke. But there's nothing more. Although it's really quite funny because, uh, me and Captain Glover had an argument just after the Mr. Everett thing. He did actually turn around to me and went, "Why can't you just get over Everett? Why can't you just get over him, and fancy me?" I went, "That would make it so much simpler, Captain Glover. The life would be much simpler if I could just fancy you." We parted, and we weren't speaking very much the next day, and I think he winked across the table at me, and I thought, "Okay, we're back to being friends again." I think he's absolutely lovely and we're really, really good friends. So part of me just thinks, oh, why don't you fancy him? He's so nice to me. Come on, Geoff. So is Miss Braund reconsidering her feelings for the tenacious Glover? The day after the fair, as the ladies are eating luncheon, the atmosphere is tense. For some weeks, there has been growing hostility between the hostess, Mrs. Rogers, and chaperone Mrs. Enright. Mrs. Enright, with her charge, Miss Conick, form the lowest ranking pair in the house. She is the least important lady here. Her charge is the least important one, and she would be bending over backwards not to cause offense to me because she wants to stay here. Because she just pisses me off. I mean, for God's sake, you know, she can... she certainly lets everybody know how clever she is. Mrs. Rogers made a very big thing of the status issue right at the beginning, um, and endeavored, as I saw it... and her voice, her tone and body language convinced me that this is what she meant to do to humiliate me We're all doing the best we possibly can. From the start, Mrs. Rogers and Mrs. Enright Weeks ago, they clashed over their respective charges. You have tried to cast aspersions on her. I have not done that on your charge. I have been asked what I thought about her, and I said. I haven't meant to be rude to you. I've meant to be clear about my feelings. It's all in the perception, I believe, mm-hmm. I have a particular character to deal with whose behavior is irreproachable. Do stop saying that. It's getting terribly boring, madam. Yes, and I'm getting tired of the generalizations which suggest that her behavior is less than satisfactory. I have forgiven, forborne, and I have reached the end of my capability there now. For goodness sake, we've got 12 days or ten days left here. Why can't everybody just really enjoy those last ten days without having something as pathetic as somebody's little vendetta, you know, ruining everything? I have now got the very, very contemporary feeling... make no mistake, this has nothing to do with 1811... how dare she despise me? Independently she's a complete nobody and I am somebody, and I am getting very close to telling her that. The tensions between Mrs. Rogers and Mrs. Enright finally explode. Of course. Um, Jesus, did you hear that? What's happened? Are you okay? No, I mean, that was awful. Come and sit down. What's been broken? A plate. Mrs. Enright then said that she'd had enough of Mrs. Rogers, that she was going to pursue her to an early grave, that she was a foolish old woman, a crashing snob and something else and she threw her plate up the room, and walked out of the room. And Mrs. Rogers is very... naturally, very shaken. I have never broken any crockery over an argument before in my entire life. But if you put a prick in an animal's backside long enough, it'll eventually kick, won't it? A little bit shaken, because I don't think anybody has ever behaved like that to me before. This has been ongoing. This has been an onslaught going on and on and on every day. And it's horrible to watch and it's horrible to witness. I don't know what I've done wrong. I've tried to avoid an uproar, tried to avoid losing my own dignity, which matters a good deal to me, but if you don't deal with these things, this is what happens. At the first attack a bully has to be identified and warned immediately not to do it. This all along has smacked in some way of bullying and I can't bear it. And I can't bear unkindness of this level, either. I have a horrible feeling you might be asked to apologize to her. I have a horrible feeling I might be asked to apologize to her. And what will happen? I have a horrible feeling we both might be asked to leave. Well, I'm sorry if I've done that to you, Hayley. Well, no, you had to do what you had to do. It's just something that just occurred to me just afterwards. It's within the power of the hostess to ask Mrs. Enright to leave. She could stop goading me. And if she does, then her charge, Miss Conick, will have to leave, too. Mrs. Rogers is comforted by her charge, the countess. It feels like being someone's second, doesn't it? Like she's my chaperone. and it is kind of like you're the backup, It should be, but it's kind of looking the other way around. I never, ever expected to chaperone my chaperone. We all chaperone our chaperones. Mr. Gorell Barnes has been forced to mediate, even though no Regency man would expect to involve himself in women's affairs. The fact of the matter is what is concerning me here is there is 14 people in the house here and the biggest problem seems to be coming Mrs. Hammond and Mrs. Rogers seem to be one side, and you and Lady Devonport seem to be another side. Not willingly. Well, not willingly, but this is how I see it. What I would like to do is if you two can sort out your differences between you in a... I'm not going to be spoken to like that in public, I'm afraid. Okay, well, fair enough. I'm not taking sides with anybody here because I just would like you to sort it out, okay? And I think that if you can't both... It is not my job. Can I finish, can I finish? If you can't both be adult about this if you don't get on with each other, avoid each other. I'm willing to do that, absolutely. I am willing to avoid Mrs. Rogers 100%. But if you are going to avoid Mrs. Rogers 100%, Mrs. Enright, then you may as well not be here. Would you like me to volunteer to leave? Is that what you'd like? That's not what I'm saying. It's not a question of volunteering. But it's a question of whether or not we can just try and get on with each other and perhaps work out the differences. But we can only do that if Mrs. Rogers and I talk together. Well, that's what I'd like you to do. I'm willing to make that attempt. I'll go for a walk now with Mrs. Rogers to put our cards on the table and sort it out. Well, I'd quite like an apology, I'm afraid. I've never been spoken to like that in my life and I think I deserve an apology. Do you feel that you were outspoken to Mrs. Rogers and perhaps slightly too harsh? I feel I need time to consider that and I feel that apologies may be due on both sides. Okay. The chaperones were here to do a job, to get their charges married, yeah, that's what they've come here for. If they're not going to do their job properly then I might as well ask them to leave. They've given up on what they're here to do. So, quite frankly, , they're useless. Perhaps we could have a duel. That's a good idea, I think. If Mrs. Rogers and Mrs. Enright have a duel, one of them dies... sorted. Mrs. Rogers takes to her bed. She's waiting for an apology. Underneath the trees... Captain Glover has planned an afternoon to commemorate the Battle of Trafalgar with a nautical picnic of salt pork washed down with rum and fresh lime. I'm going to introduce you to a distant relative of mine, Captain Blackwood... and there's the gentleman himself. He looks like you, actually. You see the curly hair there. I can really see the resemblance. Look to your left. Yes... Needs a shave. My hair isn't quite that gray yet, but I'm working on it. I have a letter here from Admiral Nelson to Captain Blackwood giving instructions to keep an eye on the fleet. So, as I pass that round, I'll read out actually... That's the genuine letter. No way. So I'll pass this round. That's the real thing. It goes, "To Captain, the Honorable Henry Blackwood, "HM Ship Aureleus. "From the Victory, October 9, 1805, AM "Cadiz due east, 19 leagues. "My dear sir, many thanks for your letter of yesterday. Let us have them out." "In short, watch all points and all winds and weathers, Be assured I am ever and always yours, Nelson and Bronte." Wow! At the house, Mrs. Rogers finally receives an apology from Mrs. Enright. We have had an éclaircissement, and all kissed and made up and become friends. Far better understanding of each other. And everything's better? Yes. Yeah, absolutely. I'm really pleased. Yeah, so am I. It's time for the Battle of Trafalgar to commence. Fought off the coast of Spain in 1805, it was Britain's most decisive sea victory. Can we have the British team on this side? British, British... British. And the French... give us all a laugh. The battle is drawn. Say you're there, you can do that and then you get a shot. Okay, now we're going for the kill. The French have a shot. Higher. further, further back. Down, a little down... What, there? Down, like that. Left higher, right arm down. "Left higher, right arm down." Excellent. Wicked. Good work! Vive la France! The English have lost two ships. They've lost two ships. So, um, it looks like we're going to win, which is a problem, as we didn't... Damn Frenchies. "Damn Frenchies," sir? It may look like the French are winning, but on the day, Admiral Lord Nelson had a brilliant plan. Going for the big one. Traditionally, ships would draw alongside. But in an unprecedented move, Nelson's fleet attacked the enemy at right angles. The French and Spanish forces were unable to regroup. Despite being heavily outnumbered, the English shattered the enemy's fleet of 33 men of war. Oh, wow, guys, guys... Make it spectacular. The victory cost Nelson his life. But it secured Britain's supremacy at sea for the next hundred years. ¶ Rule, Britannia, Britannia rules the waves ¶ ¶ Britain never, never, never shall be slave. ¶ After the battle, Miss Hopkins breaks Regency protocol to speak alone with Mr. Everett. At one time they were close. It would have been a good match... her new wealth and his old family connections... but when musician Mr. Carrington came along, everything changed. He had neither status nor fortune, but Miss Hopkins was smitten. This caused a serious rift between her and Mr. Everett... and they haven't spoken till now. I had a wonderful chat with Miss Hopkins, The two of us sort of had these storm clouds above our heads, and it was as if it rained and suddenly the sun had come out and there was this sort of a nice feeling. I mean, we found our friendship again and we just talked really pleasant to each other. We had a nice... we just giggled and laughed, and the cloud that has been sort of hanging over me the whole sort of thing just sort of lifted, you know. We had a fantastic conversation on the lawn... and, uh... I don't know how much he told, but he, um... he actually proposed to me... uh, with a... um... And I declined him. And I'm sure he won't have told you that, but I do think it's important that you know that. I just couldn't... I couldn't do it. I do like Mr. Carrington an awful lot, but I know the feeling is not reciprocated. Is it my fault that I've gone for the wrong man, that I've kind of turned the really, really nice guys down in favor of having somebody who's maybe wrong for me? So it has been kind of quite a confusing time because I've not maybe allowed myself to explore any relationship with Mr. Everett. And if I have hurt him, I am so sorry. And maybe I have been wrong. You know, maybe this is the lesson that I needed to learn in my life: Don't always listen to your heart, sometimes listen to your head. Time has arrived to announce Captain Glover's entry into the aristocracy. A highly respected peer of the realm is invited to witness the event. make two announcements: Firstly, welcome Lord Temple Morris here. It's a great honor for you to come. Thank you very much for coming. And some rather good news is Captain Glover has, for his fantastic performances at sea and his capture of an enemy boat, has been awarded a large amount of money and a baronet. So Captain Glover is departing and Sir Jeremy is arriving. Lord Temple Morris explains the finer points of Captain Glover's new rank. a very nice honor to have actually because you're free to go in the House of Commons. You don't have to go to the Lords, but you are a titled commoner, you know. Sir Jeremy, perhaps you'd like to read your letter out? Yes, it's quite interesting, it's £50,000 has now matured. I haven't spent all of it. I put money towards a lighthouse fund. I put some money into researching electricity. I've put some money into sailors' widows and kept a considerable sum for myself... should you be interested in marrying now someone with not only title but a massive fortune. My position in the house is now most senior gentleman. I shall be sitting at the top of the table from now on. No, I won't, I won't, no, sir. How would your wife be known as? "Lady," of course. So I might get married in the next few days which might elevate one of the ladies. This is music to the ears of Braund's chaperone, Mrs. Hammond. Once Miss Braund did favor Mr. Everett, um, in her heart She has grown increasingly fond of Captain Glover over the weeks that we've been here and we think that it's only right and natural, Miss Braund and I, that because he has proved himself, even when he was a poor man, that he, um... I can't say "have the hots for Miss Braund," can I? That he favored Miss Braund and she should now reciprocate by agreeing. Now that his ship has come in, Sir Jeremy could have his pick of the women round the table. But he remains steadfast. And for the penniless Miss Braund, this is, indeed, good news. I find him more and more endearing just because he's being himself and he's just being so sweet, yeah, I think if you persevere you can get what you want. I think there is something to maybe marrying your best friend, someone you can completely rely on, who will be there for you no matter what, who's not going to disappear at the first sign of trouble, who is going to be genuinely concerned about you. So, um... and I think Captain Glover has all of those qualities. Ask you all to raise your glasses and toast Sir Jeremy. Sir Jeremy. Thank you. Alias Captain Glover. Indeed, mate. It's the last week of the Regency house party. Two months ago, our modern-day guests arrived hoping to find love, Regency style. This is their last chance to form an attachment. In Regency terms, the glamorous but hard-up Mr. Carrington needs a wealthy wife to secure his place in society. Sneaking into the lady's quarters, he's risking expulsion to make his move. Thought I'd do a warm gesture for a very special girl. I think this might be something that would really make her day. It's kind of cool, isn't it? Bit of a path. I've said, "You are... "a... truly... special... person." The lady in Mr. Carrington's sights is industrial heiress Miss Hopkins. Her money would have made her a prize catch for any Regency gentlemen. As far as my feelings towards Miss Hopkins goes, I don't think they've changed at all. I'm still very attracted to her, I still feel the same way as I did the first day I first met her. I think she's an amazing woman. His parting gift to the house, Mr. Everett is designing a maze of love. It's arranged in the shape of a fan, that essential prop of Regency courtship. It's a nice sort of metaphor for being in here with the complications of not only being here but the whole marriage game and stuff... trying to find your right route through life. The maze will be more than just an amusement. First one in... another 500 or so to go. In a very public acknowledgment of intimacy, it would be navigated in couples. Final partnerships will be declared, and Mr. Everett is hoping to escort Miss Hopkins. I think the whole idea is that the couples as... as the young ladies and the young gents Of course, the chaperones no doubt will be watching, but you can go into the center and be away from their eyes. So what goes on in there is anybody's guess, I think. The only cloud on the horizon is Mr. Carrington. Oh, as far as my... friendship, let's call it, we just became friends very, very quickly and, of course, that sort of quickly developed into something a bit more serious. But, of course, the arrival of Carrington didn't exactly help the situation, put slightly the cat amongst the pigeons I don't know exactly what their... relationship is now, I don't want to pry into that. I don't think anything's going on. ¶ Sleep... ¶ But a successful serenade early on has given Mr. Carrington a distinct advantage ¶ And may your dreams... ¶ would be the more sincere, truer, genuine... kind of guy. And I think Mr. Carrington would break my heart. But aren't girls always attracted to the wrong men? Happens every time. Mr. Carrington is confident his charm will outweigh his meager prospects. We've had a great friendship, and they can see that, and we're close. is that Hopkins is wealthy here, and I'm not, and whether she wants to part with her... her income is a choice that her and her chaperone will have to make. if they chose someone else for me, I think probably it will be because they thought that Miss Hopkins should be with a person of higher status. I think that would be the only reason that would sway it. Now tell me, Victoria, it's been a busy, busy few weeks for you, has it not? With time running out for Miss Hopkins, her chaperone, Lady Devonport, presses her to choose between her two suitors. And I've thought long and hard about it, and I've come to a decision. Go on then. And that is Mr. Everett. I knew you were going to say that. Why? Because you are so contrary. Right, well, it's your life, and I like the man. He's grand. Because they are both great gentlemen, and there's nobody truer, more sincere, genuine, caring, sensitive than Mr. Everett in the house. Well, I think that's entirely true. And I know I'm very lucky to, you know, have him want me, really. He's been consistent in his feelings for you from the very beginning. And gorgeous though Mr. Carrington is, but if you change your mind again... I'll let you know. I can't be doing all this travel agent stuff. He'll be a very happy boy, Mr. Everett will. And anyway, he knows the way round the maze. Away from the romantic merry-go-round, the estate's hermit has more basic concerns. Everything's wet, and there's a conspiracy afoot to completely starve me. And I must have lost about two stone. Really hungry all the time. And they're like, "He's a hermit," like he doesn't need food, he can just eat grass or something. I'm not a deer; I do need food. But the hermit has found love. Miss Francesca, the lowest- ranking lady in the house, is fast losing her tenuous grip on gentility. It is very romantic, you know, being a sort of filthy vagabond hermit, being visited by this exotic creature in petticoats about dinner parties, target practice, angry chaperones. Yeah, it's like being in a wonderful story. It has had its romantic moments. It has had its romantic moments. I mean, inevitably, if you're sort of thrown together in a... in a sort of cold, wet, windy day, if you have to sort of huddle together to stay warm, from a practical point of view, yeah, it's been... Thanks, Hermit. Bit of romance, yeah. There would be no going back for a Regency lady's companion who chose love over security. As a hermit's wife, she could expect a life of harsh practicality. What's all the juice in there? Did I say juice it as well as zest it? It's like the first time she came up here and she was... she repaired my sugar bag, which had a simple burn in it, and she was there sewing away for about three hours, and she finished it eventually. With a huge grin, she passes, says, "I've finished," And I was like, "Ah, that's very good." Tried to open it, and she'd sewn it right through both sides of the bag. Didn't even check before she handed it over So she had to cut it all out and start again. But now you're good at sewing, aren't you? Bit of a learning curve up here. As the guests set out for a final picnic, the issue of marriage is never far from mind. One step above Miss Francesca in status, Miss Conick's future security would also depend on finding a good husband. I've seen all kinds of practice. For her, that's a problem. I just don't think I could bear to be a married woman to a man who was legally allowed to beat me and rape and whom I couldn't divorce um... and then obliged to have children when one in three women died in childbirth. Score. Being a mistress might have been all right. You had more control of your money; you had more control over what you did, who you spent your time with. A career as a mistress was a high-risk business. Success could bring independence and wealth. But disease and destitution lay in wait for those who failed. A letter for you, ma'am. "Dear Mrs. Enright, with regard to my daughter Hayley, "I'm writing to ask whether or not "a suitable match has now been found for her. I shall write back to Mrs. Conick that Hayley rather shockingly proposed to me that she might go to London and become a courtesan to fund her ambition to have a literary or political salon... perhaps a combination of both. quite how I was going to explain this to her parents, because I thought Hayley's particularly well-equipped both physically and intellectually for these tasks. Not everyone has turned their back on the prospect of marriage. Miss Braund has made a classic Regency compromise. She may not have fallen head over heels in love, but she is able to see the benefits of a life spent with her wealthy best friend, Sir Jeremy Glover. I really like the guy. I really, really like him. He's a massive flirt. He's a huge, huge flirt... as am I, so we just kind of hit it off on that level. And if I had the choice of all the gentlemen in the house, the gentleman I would choose would be, yes, Sir Jeremy. Sir Jeremy, in Regency times, would be looking for a wife that could bear him children. You would have been good friends and there to support each other, and that's what this is. I think I tried to explain to Lisa that, you know, a knight in shining armor does need a damsel in distress. Otherwise, he's just running around in his armor looking like a... like an idiot. The question facing Miss Hopkins is not how to love, but who. Oh, no. Oh... Mr. Carrington. Do you think? And to think somebody's gone to all this effort and has, you know, picked up on, you know, something that you've said in passing to make you happy is just completely overwhelming. With his bold move, Mr. Carrington draws ahead of Mr. Everett in the race for Miss Hopkins' heart. How the hell did you know that? To be honest, I kind of probed. Oh, really? It is a complete and utter fantasy... my bed strewn with rose petals. For the last eight weeks, the guests in the Regency House have been waited on hand and foot by their dedicated servants. Now the master wants to reward them. As far as the footmen are concerned, there's two key rules to remember. One is that you have to be as elegant as possible The second thing is that a footman, if at all possible, should be seen and not heard in the dining room. Mr. Gorell Barnes has decided to revive the tradition of turning the social order on its head... a custom dating back to Roman times. Trading places with their servants, the gentlemen will serve dinner to the footmen and maids. The footmen have made it a lot less lonely for me. I have a very good relationship with them. They respect me, and they've been incredibly supportive. Right, serving. Mr. Foxsmith, would you like to, uh... Right, and I've worked this one out. Could you attract my attention please? Red wine, please. Certainly. Red wine. Sir, you haven't actually taken his glass yet, sir. Oh, Christ. And as I was saying, blah, blah, blah. Sir, you have just shaken the water all over the table there, sir. There's a certain elegance required to shake water back into the cooler. Yes, yeah, I'm getting there. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, thank you. Mrs. Rogers takes the countess aside. As her chaperone and the master's guardian, she would be handsomely rewarded if she could bring them together. What I was hoping to organize was to get Mr. Gorell Barnes to take you round the maze. to go through the maze with Mr. Gorell Barnes. Fine. Well, that's what I imagined. And it works out quite nicely, because you kind of fall into like if there are guests or something like that. I think one of the guests once said to me, "Well, you and your husband..." And I went... "No, no, no, he's not my husband." two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two... The end of the house party marks the climax of the guests' romantic hopes for the season. one, two, three, join hands and one... Miss Hopkins is playing a dangerous game. Having opted for Mr. Everett, she's switched her allegiance overnight to Mr. Carrington, to the dismay of her chaperone. But Lady Devonport has a problem of her own. And walk. Over the summer, she's conducted a dangerous liaison with Mr. Foxsmith. You are very, very, very handsome. Fashionable Regency society turned a blind eye to relationships between young men and older, married women so long as they were discreet. Ah, Lady Devonport. Marriage, however, was out of the question. Now that Lady Devonport and Mr. Foxsmith are about to leave the Regency, they must face the future. Just who will go through the maze in couples has yet to be agreed. Mr. Everett has asked the chaperones to settle the competing claims of head and heart and help resolve the final partnerships. They will interview each of the men. Right, let's give them hell, girls. Absolutely. First up, the most eligible man in the house, Is there a lady in the house who you like more than the others? Yes. Uh... one of the maids. Well, right, which maid is it, sir? Forgive us, but we have collected the impression that you and the countess were on warmly affectionate terms. Perhaps. Perhaps. "Perhaps." You're sitting on the fence. What does "perhaps" mean? Whatever you'd like it to mean. Now, what do I do with this? I'm going through this one Time for Mr. Carrington to unleash his charm offensive. Why, hello, ladies. Good morning, sir. Mr. Carrington, is there anybody here that you are particularly fond of or have a preference for? Yeah, there is very much somebody I'm specifically very close to and feel an enormous attachment to and that's Miss Hopkins. As Miss Hopkins' chaperone, it's Lady Devonport's job to keep impoverished playboys at arm's length. But having experienced the pitfalls of Regency propriety herself, she's in two minds. And as you know, I support your interest in her completely. So next! No. How do you propose to support Miss Hopkins? Um, with my massive amounts of charm and talent and no money. And so modest. As the chaperones debate the charms of Mr. Carrington, Mr. Everett soldiers on with his maze, helped by old friend Miss Braund. And then this one here... So what's this rounded one here? When Mr. Everett comes in, I know that he's going to... Yeah, I agree. In fact, either of them are perfectly wonderful. Morning. Morning. Morning, morning. Do sit down. Thank you so much. The first question is, is there a particular lady here that you like? I like Miss Hopkins. And I like them all. But you feel the warmest affection for Miss Hopkins? Yeah. Well, I think you need to tell us Um, it's mattered a great deal, and so when we had our... when we sort of had a bit of a frosty period, it was quite sort of... it was quite, you know... it was quite painful, really. Um, but we've managed to sort of find our friendship again Would you be able to keep your friendship with her if she was with someone else, do you think? I would think so, yeah. There's no reason why not. Yeah, absolutely. I'm not going to hold grudges or anything. She's a cracking lass, you know, and if she's... if she wants someone else, then, you know, then I'd go, "hey ho," and just, um, carry on being friends. And the other day at dinner she was sort of sitting there, she kind of gave me a... gave me a wink across the table and it was like, oh, that sort of... giddy schoolkid again. Sad. Oh, have it washed and sent round to my tent. He's absolutely sweet, isn't he? I just feel really sorry for him. He's such a lovely bloke, and he can't have Miss Hopkins, can he? Mr. Foxsmith. Do come and join us. Sit in the electric chair. What we're trying to find out here, from everybody, not just you, is if there's somebody here that you really would like us if we possibly can, to sort of push in your direction? Well, yes... yourself. Oh, that's so sweet, but... what can we do? It's not practical. Then... it seems that, uh... um, the conversation is really over. As I would like to get out of here with my integrity, there's very little else to say. Are there any of the girls that you think would make your life bearable? I wouldn't consider that because I wouldn't do a second best. All of the ladies here are very attractive in their own right. There's nothing wrong with any of them. Well, we can't do anything about it. And I don't think that would help you, but we can... Then, uh... jump over the... Then I'll continue my search for somebody who I can get married to and have children. In the meantime, I'll continue my bachelor monk-like existence. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. I don't know what to say. Don't say anything. Just keep it safe. And you will use it. Ladies, thank you very much. Thank you, Mr. Foxsmith. All right? Next. It's her grandmother's wedding ring for a great number of years while she was happily married, so there's a huge amount of sentiment in this ring. I think it must be the most precious thing I own. Oh, there she goes. All right, Lady D.? We're very, very passionate friends and there has been a sexual tension between us. Practically, we can't go to the next step and so what we've done is we've sort of sacrificed all of that for each other's long-term happiness. Um, it would otherwise be a May-to-September, doomed-to-failure relationship. Final preparations for the servants' dinner are underway. The gentlemen are catching on fast. Sir, if you do get to serve the soup you have to be quite careful about how much to offer the guests because it can run out. So if it looks like everybody wants some of the soup, then it's usually just a ladle and a bit. Like a swan, Everett. Like a swan? Upstairs, the ladies are dressing their maids for dinner. When serving drinks, is it to the right or the left shoulder? Drinks are to the left, food is to the right. No, failed; drinks are to the right. But I wanted to give you a tiara. Don't know if that's quite allowed. Who's going to have giggles first? Everett. You're all very symmetrical at the moment. Tonight's soup is asparagus soup. Zachary. Seem to have miscalculated somewhat. Is there any more soup? Ah. I'm afraid cook didn't make enough soup. Tonight was quite strange, almost seeing them as, like, normal people. We've always looked up at them and I found it almost quite unbearable and uncomfortable to be served by them and I mean constantly I felt myself, like, wanting to help them. I'm terribly sorry, Mrs. Mason. Yes. THAT MIGHT BE A LITTLE BIT TOO LIGHT. AND IF YOU'RE LIFTING A WEIGHT, YOU COULD STOP. IT STILL HURTS. JOE'S GONNA FIND THE BURN. NICE, DUDE, KEEP THOSE ELBOWS BACK AT THE TOP. WHAT NUMBER YOU ON, MR. HAAS? THAT WAS IT, 16. THAT'S IT RIGHT THERE? ALL RIGHT, I CAN TRUST YOU. NOW, HOW WERE THE BANDS, WAS THAT THE RIGHT BAND? YEAH, IT'S THE RIGHT BAND. I JUST HAD A BIGGER LOOP, SO. BY THE WAY, THERE YOU GO. YOU MAKE YOUR LOOP BIGGER, YOU MAKE IT HARDER. YOU DON'T NECESSARILY NEED A HEAVIER-DUTY BAND. OKAY, FOLKS, WE GOT CROUCHING COHEN CURL. JOE, YOU GONNA DO THAT STRIP SET AGAIN? YES, SIR. OH, I LOVE YOU, DUDE. YOU KIDS READY TO GO? YOU READY TO GO? DREYA, DREYA, DREYA. NOW, WATCH ME HERE, SAME THING. ELBOWS RIGHT HERE, EVERYBODY. YOU READY, LOOP BOY? LET'S DO IT. OKAY, I'M GONNA DO MY EIGHT. FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO-- ONE... TWO... THREE- - I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE ROUND BACK HERE. FOUR... FIVE... I NEED MY BREAK. SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT. OH, SEE THAT? EIGHT REPS IS ALL I NEEDED, EIGHT'S ALL I NEEDED. I FOUND A WEIGHT THAT MADE IT WORK. JOE, YOU ON YOUR STRIP SET, DUDE? YES. COME ON, PUNKY. NICE, NICE... NOW LOOK, HE'S GOT HIS BUTT UP AGAINST THE WALL. THAT WAY HE CAN'T CHEAT. ELBOWS ARE RIGHT IN THAT LITTLE NOOK. - WHAT NUMBER'S THAT? - FOUR. FOUR, HOW MANY ARE YOU GONNA DO? SIX. OKAY, YOU'RE A SMART MAN. GO! COME ON, ANOTHER ONE, GO! GET IT, GET IT, GET IT, GET IT, GET IT. NICE WORK. IT'S LYING DOWN TRICEP EXTENSION... TIME. LET'S GO. LET'S GET DOWN. FEET FLAT ON THE FLOOR. PUNCH THE CEILING WITH THE WEIGHTS FIRST. HERE WE GO, FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO-- ABOVE THE EARS, TO THE CEILING. ABOVE THE EARS, TO THE CEILING. ABOVE THE EARS, TO THE CEILING. DON'T LET THE ELBOWS FLARE, LOOK AT MY ELBOWS, TIGHT. RIGHT. THEY MIGHT FLARE A LITTLE, IF YOU'RE REALLY MUSCULAR THEY'RE FLARE OUT A LITTLE, BUT I WANT YOU TO FIGHT TO KEEP THEM IN. I GOT THE TOE TAP, SEE THE TOE TAP? I GOT THE TOE TAP GOING. I DON'T KNOW WHY I DO THAT, I JUST GOTTA DO IT. NOW, I'M DEBATING, I COULD CRASH AROUND MY FACE, BUT I'M A PROFESSIONAL SO I'M NOT GONNA. NICE, DREYA. OKAY, EVERYBODY, WE GOT A LITTLE BREAK HERE. 30 SECONDS, ENJOY, ENJOY. PUT YOUR CHAIRS AWAY 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT GONNA NEED 'EM, I'M DOING JUST THAT. CHANCES ARE YOU'RE EITHER WRITING SOMETHING DOWN, OR YOU'RE DRINKING OR YOU'RE TOWELING OFF OR YOU'RE MOVING LIKE ME. OKAY. HOW YOU DOING, DREYA? GOOD. - YOU GOOD? - YEAH. SOME OTHER, ISN'T IT? YOU GOT A LITTLE TRICEP ACTION, HELLO! WHAT HAVE YOU GOT, READY TO FINISH UP STRONG, MAN? YOU READY, JOE BOVINO? I'M READY, MAN. OKAY, GOOD, LET'S LOVE OURSELVES HERE. YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY, P90X IS EXTREME. YOU GOTTA PACE YOURSELF. THAT'S YOUR CUE, THAT'S THE TIP OF THE DAY EVERY TIME. YOU GOTTA HAVE WATER AROUND, YOU GOTTA DRINK AND YOU GOTTA PRESS "PAUSE" IF YOU'RE FEELING WASTED. THAT'S OKAY. THEN YOU TAKE A LITTLE LONGER BREAK THAN WE'RE TAKING AND THEN YOU COME BACK INTO THE FRAY AND FINISH STRONG. OKAY, WE'RE IN OUR BONUS ROUND, YOU READY FOR THE BONUS ROUND? ! AT HOME YOU CAN STOP, OR YOU CAN CONTINUE WITH US. RIGHT NOW WE GOT IN AND OUT STRAIGHT ARM SHOULDER FLIES. EVERYBODY DOES 16 REPS. ARE YOU KIDS READY? BY THE WAY, YOU'RE DOING 16 REPS WITH STRAIGHT ARMS. SOMETHING LIGHT. HE'S GOT NOT A HEAVY-DUTY BAND HERE. OKAY, I WANT GOOD FORM. WE'RE STARTING UP FIRST. HERE WE GO, FOLLOW ME. THAT'S ONE... THAT'S TWO... THAT'S THREE... THAT'S FOUR... I'M WALKING AND MOVING AT THE SAME TIME. THAT'S FIVE... THAT'S SIX... THAT'S SEVEN... THAT'S EIGHT... CAN YOU SAY HALFWAY? THAT'S NINE- - I KNOW YOU'RE FEELING THAT BURN NOW! THAT'S 10- - OW! 11- - I HEAR BREATHING. 12- - KEEP THE ELBOWS STRAIGHT, RELAX THE SHOULDERS, DOWN. 13... 14... OW! 15- - ONE MORE-- 16. OHH... WHEN YOUR ARMS ARE STRAIGHT LIKE THAT YOU DON'T NEED A LOT OF WEIGHT FOR IT TO BE EFFECTIVE. USE YOUR WORKSHEET, WRITE IT DOWN. WAS IT TOO MUCH WEIGHT, WAS IT NOT ENOUGH? DID YOU USE BANDS, WHAT COLOR? KEEP TRACK. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER, POWER IS CHANGE. YOU GUYS READY FOR THE WORLD FAMOUS JOHNNY CONGDON CURL? OR THE CONGDON CURL FOR SHORT. NOW, IT'S A REGULAR CURL WITH A HAMMER. OKAY, SO, SET A GOAL HERE. IS IT EIGHT TO 10, 12 TO 15? AND WHEN YOU'RE DONE, WRITE IT DOWN. IT LOOKS LIKE THIS. FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO-- CURL IT UP, TURN, HAMMER DOWN... OPEN, CURL IT UP, TURN, HAMMER DOWN... OPEN, CURL IT UP, TURN, HAMMER DOWN... OPEN, CURL IT UP, TURN, HAMMER DOWN... LET'S SEE IF THEY'RE DOING IT. NOW, WATCH HERE. DAN'S GOT THE BANDS, SO HE'S JUST ALTERNATING. REVERSE, TURN 'EM OVER, CURL... DIFFERENT, JUST AS EFFECTIVE. NICE, DUDE, KNEES ARE BENT, GOOD JOB. JOE? YOU'RE SWEATY, DUDE! HAMMER DOWN... GOOD, CURL UP... IT'S THE BONUS ROUND, SO IF YOU PICKED A WEIGHT A LITTLE BIT TOO LIGHT THEN DO SOME EXTRA ONES. FIND THE BURN, THE LAST THREE GOTTA BE TOUGH. LET'S SEE DREYA. HAMMER DOWN... CURL UP... HAMMER DOWN... CURL UP. HOW MANY ARE YOU GONNA DO? 20. 20, THAT'S FINE, MAKES ME HAPPY. ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA DO SIDE-TRI-RISE. OKAY, HERE WE GO, YOU GUYS READY? YOU'RE LAYING DOWN. RIGHT HAND, NEAR THE ARMPIT AND RIGHT PEC. RIGHT HAND, UP ON YOUR SHOULDER. IF YOU CAN STRAIGHTEN YOUR ARM HERE, GREAT. IF YOU CAN'T, DON'T SWEAT IT. MAXIMUM REPS. GET UP, FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO-- ONE, AND THEN DOWN... TWO, AND THEN DOWN... THREE- - YOU DON'T NEED NO STINKING WEIGHTS! FOUR, AND THEN DOWN. LET'S SEE YOU GUYS, GOOD. LOOK AT DREYA WITH THE STRAIGHT ARM. BING BING BING BING, MONEY! HOW MANY ARE YOU GONNA DO? HOW MANY ARE YOU GONNA DO? 15! ARE YOU SERIOUS? MAYBE. - WHAT NUMBER YOU ON? - NINE. 15, AMBITIOUS. HOW MANY YOU GONNA DO, MR. HAAS? 11, I'M GONNA DO ONE MORE. 12- - GET UP, STRAIGHTEN THE ARM. NICE. JOE BOVINO, HOW MANY YOU DO? THAT'S 12 THERE. ALL RIGHT, DUDE. 13, STILL GOING, YOU GOT 15 IN YA, DON'T YA? COME ON. EVERYBODY AT HOME, KEEP GOING IF YOU CAN KEEP GOING! FIND YOUR MAXIMUM REPS, THAT'S HOW YOU GET RESULTS! GOOD JOB, DANIEL, HANG OUT. WE'RE GONNA FLIP HERE IN A SECOND. DON'T START WITHOUT US. NICE. FLIP IT AROUND, HERE WE GO. DREYA, HOW MANY YOU DOING OVER THERE, YOU CRAZY GIRL? 20. SHEESH. FELLAS... OKAY, HAND IN HERE, HAND UP HERE. EVERYBODY GO, FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE-- ONE, AND DOWN... TWO, AND DOWN... THREE, AND DOWN... FOUR, AND DOWN... MAX REP. FIVE, AND DOWN... SIX, AND DOWN... SEVEN, AND DOWN... EIGHT, AND DOWN... NINE, AND DOWN... HOW DID SHE DO 20? ! AND DOWN... "THAT'S 'CAUSE I'M MUSCULAR." AND DOWN... AND DOWN... MOMMY, HOW DID DREYA DO SO MANY? I'M TAKING MY BREAK. OH, SAY CAN YOU SEE? I GOT ONE MORE AND THEN I'M TOAST. I GOT, I GOT NO MORE. COME ON, TOMMY. HONEY PIE. 20. YOU KNOW, THAT'S KIND OF LIKE LIFE, THERE'S A DEMONSTRATION OF LIFE. YOU GOT YOUR WEAKS-- WEAKNESSES, AND YOU GOT YOUR STRENGTHS. DREYA'S GOOD AT THAT, I'M A PULL-UP BOY. ALL RIGHT, IT FEELS LIKE YOU'RE DONE. WE GOT ONE MORE TIME, THREE MORE EXERCISES. HANG WITH ME. IT'S CALLED IN AND OUT STRAIGHT ARM SHOULDER FLIES. 16 REPS. YOU READY? HERE WE GO, IN FIRST. ONE... ONE- - OR TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE-- I'M CHECKING FORM. I'M CHECKING FORM, I'M BACKING UP. NICE, DANIEL. ELBOWS, LOCK 'EM UP. WHAT NUMBER ARE YOU ON? EIGHT. GOOD. DREYA, NICE. STRAIGHT ARM, STRAIGHT ARM, JOE BOVINO. REMEMBER HERE, YOU DON'T NEED A LOT OF WEIGHT. YOU DON'T NEED A LOT OF WEIGHT. 16 REPS, A LOT OF REPS. YOU WANNA MAINTAIN THOSE STRAIGHT ARMS. BUT I STILL WORK HARD, I STILL BRING IT. I BRING IT. - WHAT NUMBER, DUDE, YOU DONE? - YEAH. NICE WORK, EVERYBODY WRITE IT DOWN, SEE WHAT YOU DID. BONUS ROUND'S A BEAR, MAN. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE OUT OF GAS, BUT YOU KEEP GOING. WE GOT THE CONGDON CURL. LET'S BRING IT HERE AT THE END, OKAY, LET'S GO. FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE-- EVERYONE READY FOR THE CONGDON CURL? I'M IN MY SPOT, LET'S GO. CURL, TURN, DOWN, OPEN... CURL, TURN, DOWN, OPEN... CURL, TURN, DOWN-- WHAT'S YOUR GOAL? EIGHT TO 10? 12 TO 15? COME ON, FOUND OUT WHAT IT IS. TURN, DOWN, OPEN... CURL, TURN, DOWN, OPEN... CURL, TURN, DOWN... CURL, TURN, DOWN... I NEED MY BREAK, I GOT TWO MORE IN ME. HOW MANY MORE, MR. HAAS? ! THREE MORE. - MR. BOVINO? ! - TWO. DREYA? THREE MORE. DOWN... ONE MORE TIME. YIPPIE-YI-YAY- KAYEE-MAMA. ALL RIGHT, SIDE-TRI-RISE. THIS IS IT, THEN WE ARE DONE. NO MORE. THEN WE COOL DOWN AND LIFE IS GOOD. YOU KIDS READY? HEY, GUESS WHAT? YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO STRAIGHTEN YOUR ARMS HERE, YOU COULD BE TOASTY TOAST. DO YOUR BEST, FORGET THE REST. SHE'S A SUPER STAR, SHE CAN GO UP ON ONE ARM ALL DAY LONG! MAXIMUM REPS PER SIDE. WHAT'S YOUR GOAL? I'M GONNA DO 15. REALLY? JOE BOVINO? 20. 15. 16! YOU PEOPLE ARE SERIOUS PEOPLE. 17! WELL, ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO. THEY'RE CRAZED AT THE END! GO WITH ME AT HOME, FOLLOW THE KIDS. FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO-- ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15... OH, OH, OH! 16, 17, 18, 19, 20. HOW MANY DID YOU DO, JOE? 21. OH, 21! 21, 22, PUNK! 22, 23. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK OVER HERE. 23, 24, 25, OKAY. DON'T DO IT AGAIN! ANYBODY AT HOME DOES 26, I'M COMING TO YOUR HOUSE! ALL RIGHT, THIS SIDE I'M GONNA GET LIKE FOUR. HERE WE GO. SPEED IS YOUR FRIEND HERE, CERTAINLY MINE. HERE WE GO, FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO-- ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, 10, ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX. SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, 10, COME ON! 11... 15. 22. I'M TAKING MY BREAK, I'M DOING 22. TWO, ONE... TWO. GUESS WHAT, WE'RE DONE! BRING IT! OH, THAT WAS A GORGEOUS FINISH, MY FRIEND! NICE, GIMME IT, GIMME. NICE. DREYA WEBER, EVERYBODY AT HOME, SHOULDERS AND ARMS. ALL RIGHT, LET'S COOL DOWN, LET'S SHAKE THAT OUT. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, THAT WAS CRAZY AT THE END. YOU GUYS GOT ALL CRAZY ON ME. THAT'S ANOTHER REALLY GOOD EXAMPLE OF THOSE LITTLE MINI-BREAKS. I DO 'EM ALL THE TIME. I GOT ONE WORD TO SAY- - WOW! SAY IT WITH ME EVERYBODY. WOW! WOW. AND WHAT'S "WOW" UPSIDE DOWN? MOM! ALL RIGHT. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU MIGHT HAVE SOME QUESTIONS. YOU MIGHT HAVE SOME PROBLEMS. IF YOU DO, I'LL TELL YOU ONE GREAT PLACE TO GO. AND THERE WE ARE, THERE'S OUR WEBSITE, ALL THE ANSWERS. ALL RIGHT. LET'S DO A LITTLE REACHER ACTION. UP. AND LET 'EM FALL, FALL, FALL, FALL. AND, REACH. LET 'EM FALL, FALL, FALL, FALL. ONE MORE TIME, REACH IT UP! FALL, FALL. LET'S DO THE KAREN POT STIRRER TIME! LET'S GO COUNTERCLOCKWISE, RIGHT ARM. OH, THAT IS MAGICAL, THANK YOU, KAREN. EVERYBODY SAY, "THANK YOU, KAREN." THANK YOU, KAREN. LET'S GO CLOCKWISE. I'M STIRRING UP MY MASHED POTATOES RIGHT HERE. NO BUTTER, NO SOUR CREAM! OKAY, OTHER SIDE, HERE WE GO, CLOCKWISE, LEFT ARM. THAT FEELS MIGHTY FINE, MIGHTY, MIGHTY FINE. OTHER WAY, HERE WE GO. ALL RIGHT, BOTH ARMS DOWN AND COME UP LIKE AN ELEPHANT. SHAKING IT, SHAKING IT. YOU GOT TWO TRUNKS. COME UP, COME UP. OH, MY GOSH, THAT IS SO GOOD. THE SHOULDERS ARE TIGHT, SO WE'RE GONNA LOOSEN THEM UP WITH SOME SHOULDER ROLLS. YOU READY, DUDE? BACK ONE TIME! BACK TWO TIMES, BACK THREE TIMES. SHOULDERS AND ARMS. I THINK WE GOT IT ALL, JOE, DON'T YOU THINK? - FEELS LIKE IT. - DID WE GET IT ALL? I'M DONE. THAT'S GOOD, "I'M DONE." GOD, THAT SIDE-TRI-RISE, WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? ! DUDE. DREYA BROUGHT IT UP, BROUGHT UP THE LEVEL, BIG-TIME. ALL RIGHT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART. LEFT HAND, LEFT LEG. REACH UP NICE AND TALL. NICE WORK, EVERYBODY, NICE WORK. HANG HERE FOR THE STRETCH, IT'S GOOD FOR YOU. SAME THING OTHER SIDE, NICE AND TALL. VERY GOOD. ALL RIGHT, LET'S TAKE CARE OF THE SHOULDERS A LITTLE BIT MORE. ARMS UP. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK REAL HARD HERE, JUST FEEL THAT STRETCH ACROSS YOUR CHEST, DON'T OVERDO IT. LET ME HEAR A BIG INHALE. INHALE! WITH SOME SOUND, LET ME HEAR SOME SOUND. AHH... LET'S DO THAT AGAIN. ARMS UP. I WANNA HEAR SOME SOUND. OHH... GET DOWN LOW, OPEN UP THE SHOULDERS AND THE CHEST. AGAIN, OPEN 'EM UP. AND OPEN 'EM UP. ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET THOSE SHOULDERS AND TRICEPS NOW. WE'RE FINISHING THE WAY WE STARTED, TAKING CARE OF "BIDNESS," TAKING CARE OF "BIDNESS..." ALL RIGHT, NOT TOO LONG. 'CAUSE THEY'RE PRETTY LOOSE ALREADY, OTHER SIDE. OH, GIVE ME A LITTLE SIDE DEAL THERE, A LITTLE SIDE BEND. OH, THAT'S MAGICAL! LET'S TAKE OF THAT SECOND ARM 'CAUSE WE GOT TWO OF 'EM. HERE WE GO. OH YEAH, DANDY DANDY. ELBOW UP, GIVE ME A LITTLE SIDE ACTION THERE WHEN YOU PULL. OHH, THAT GOES ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE HIP. AND THAT IS IT, EVERYBODY, THANK YOU SO MUCH! COME ON, BRING IT IN HERE. LET'S SAY IT ON THREE, YOU KNOW WHAT TO SAY. ONE, TWO, THREE-- BRING IT! WOO! YEAH. I WILL SEE YOU... NEXT TIME. NICE, TONY, NICE! WHAT'S REALLY, REALLY AMAZING ABOUT "AB RIPPER X" IS TO GIVE PEOPLE AN OPPORTUNITY TO GET THE BEST, MOST RIPPED ABDOMINAL AREA THEY'VE EVER HAD IN THEIR LIVES. WE'RE DOING OVER 300 MOVES HERE. BUT THE ONLY WAY YOU'RE GONNA GET THE RESULTS AND THE SCULPTED ABS THAT YOU WANT, IS THAT YOU'VE GOT TO BRING IT. "AB RIPPER X"-- I HATE IT! BUT I LOVE IT! HEY, BOYS AND GIRLS, WELCOME TO "AB RIPPER X." COUPLE THINGS RIGHT OFF THE BAT: THIS IS NOT AB RIPPER 100 AND 200, THIS IS AB RIPPER 339. SO IF THIS IS NEW TO YOU, TAKE YOUR TIME, PACE YOURSELF AND TAKE BREAKS. WE GOT 11 MOVES, THEY'RE ALL 25 REPS. WE GOT IN OUTS. FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO-- HERE WE GO. AND ONE, AND TWO, AND THREE-- THIS IS CORE WORK. FOUR, AND FIVE-- NOT JUST ABS. SIX- - YOU MIGHT FEEL THIS IN YOUR THIGHS. SEVEN-- IN YOUR HIP FLEXORS. EIGHT, NINE-- YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO. 10- - GET THAT CHEST UP. BRING IT, BRING IT. HERE WE GO. OH, ADAM, HE'S A HOTSHOT! HE HAD TO PUT THOSE HANDS IN THE AIR. HERE WE GO, HIS CHEST IS UP, HIS KNEES ARE IN. NICE FORM EVERYBODY-- 25. LET'S SEE JASON. REACH UP NICE AND TALL. AUDRA'S GOT HER HANDS ON THE FLOOR, THAT WORKS FINE FOR HER. THERE YOU GO-- 25. WE GOT BICYCLES. I'M ON MY BUTT, I'M DONE INSTRUCTING. WE'RE GONNA GO FORWARD FIRST. I'VE GOT MY HANDS ON THE FLOOR. HERE WE GO-- ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE-- YOU CAN DO THIS-- 10-- IF YOU WANT TO. 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16-- IT BURNS-- 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22-- GOING TO 25. 23, 24, 25. AND REVERSE, HERE WE GO. WE'RE NOT GONNA MESS AROUND. FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO- - GO. ONE, TWO-- I'M UP. THREE, FOUR-- THEY'RE GONNA COUNT, KEEP MOVING. NICE STRAIGHT LINE HERE, CHEST IS UP. BIG CIRCLES. SUPPORT WITH YOUR HANDS IF YOU NEED TO. JASON, HE'S THE KING, HE'S THE RIP KING. HANDS ARE HIGH FOR THE BALANCE, A LITTLE BIT MORE WORK. MAKES ME HAPPY, NICE. LOOKING GOOD. 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24 AND 25. TIME FOR CRUNCHY FROG. EVERYBODY GETS THEIR HANDS OFF THE FLOOR! HERE WE GO. ARMS ARE OUT, I WANNA SEE 'EM SPREAD. FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, AND-- WRAP AND OPEN. TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX-- HERE'S OUR PACE. SEVEN, EIGHT-- YOU NEED BREAKS-- NINE, 10-- YOU BETTER TAKE 'EM. 12- - GET YOUR CHEST UP. 13- - YOU CAN DO THIS, YOU SEE THIS? GATHER YOURSELF. HECK, I'M DOING IT, YOU CAN DO IT, TOO. THEN YOU JUMP BACK IN WHEN YOU'RE READY. THERE AIN'T NO PART ONE AND PART TWO. IT'S PART TWO, LAST ONE. WE GOT CROSS LEG, ALL RIGHT? WIDE LEG SIT-UPS. SO TWO VERSIONS. CROSS LEG OR WIDE LEG. THIS ONE'S EASIER. ARE YOU READY? EVERYBODY BACK. LEFT HAND BEHIND THE HEAD, REACH UP AND OVER. FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO-- UP, TOUCH YOUR TOE. YOU CAN SEE NOW, SWITCH HANDS. OH, TOUCH THE TOE, COME ON BACK. UP, LOOK, I'M REACHING UP AND THEN OVER. WHAT I'M NOT DOING IS THIS, I'M NOT GOING STRAIGHT AND HERE. I'M GOING STRAIGHT UP AND OVER. OKAY, AND THEN SWITCH THE HANDS. UP AND OVER... UP AND OVER. NOW, LOOK, THESE ARE A LITTLE BIT HARDER, YOU CAN'T USE THE WEIGHT OF YOUR LEGS. AUDRA'S GOING UP AND CROSSING OVER. OTHER SIDE. UP AND OVER... ALL DAY LONG. GOOD, JASON, NICE, MY BROTHER. COME UP. THAT'S 12. WE'RE GONNA BE HERE AWHILE. IT'S 25 REPS. YOU NEED A BREAK, TAKE THE BREAK. GOOD, NOW... LOOK AT HIM, LOOK AT HIM. REACH, WAY UP AND THEN DOWN. NICE. LOOK, HIS CHIN'S OFF HIS CHEST THE WHOLE TIME, HE'S NOT TUCKING HIS CHIN IN. GOOD CLEAN FORM. THIS IS CORE, THIS IS NOT JUST CRUNCHES, OKAY? THIS IS BIG-TIME, "AB RIPPER X," OKAY? NICE. I'M GONNA FINISH UP WITH THE KIDS. HERE WE GO. AND UP... I'LL EVEN CROSS MY LEGS. AND UP AND DOWN... AND UP AND DOWN... AND UP AND DOWN... ONE MORE FOR FUN, AND REACH UP AND DOWN. OKAY, TIME FOR FIFER SCISSORS. TWO TIPS: FLEX YOUR FEET AND STRAIGHTEN YOUR LEGS THE BEST YOU CAN. EVERYBODY DOWN, HANDS ON THE FLOOR NEXT TO YOUR BODY. KICK THE LEFT LEG OUT, INCH OFF THE FLOOR. RIGHT LEG UP AS HIGH AS YOU CAN. SCISSOR, GET IT? CHANGE WHEN YOU HEAR THE NUMBER ONLY! FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO-- AND ONE... AND TWO... AND THREE-- DON'T CHANGE WITHOUT THE NUMBER. AND FOUR... AND FIVE... AND SIX... AND SEVEN-- BREATHE PEOPLE, NOW! AND EIGHT... AND NINE- - I KNOW, WE'RE TAKING OUR TIME. AND 10-- YOU THINK I'M GONNA SAY 11. AND 11-- LET'S CHECK ON EVERYBODY. AND 12-- GOOD, AUDRA. 13- - KICK THE TOE THAT WAY-- 14-- FIGHT THE TOE THIS WAY. 15-- FLEX THE FEET. AND 16! AND SWITCH. 18- - WAIT 'TIL YOU HEAR THE NUMBER. 19- - HE'S WORKING TO STRAIGHTEN THAT LEG. THERE'S 20, GOOD. 21-- HIT MY HAND, GOOD. 22-- HIT MY HAND. GOOD. 23-- THAT'S THE GRUNTIN'! GOOD, 24. THAT'S IT, JASON, WORK. COME ON AGAIN, ONE MORE. SEE, THAT BOY IS WORKING. AND THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO SEE YOU DO. ALL RIGHT, WE'RE HALFWAY ALREADY, MAN, PARTY'S ALMOST OVER, WHAT A BUMMER! ALL RIGHT, IF YOU NEED A BREAK, TAKE 'EM! WE'RE DOING 25 A POP. WE GOT HIP ROCK 'N RAISE. FEET ARE TOGETHER. THE DISTANCE BETWEEN THE UPPER LEGS AND THE LOWER LEGS STAYS THE SAME. HANDS ARE HERE. WHEN I REACH THE HALFWAY POINT MY TOES GO SKYWARD, LET'S MAKE IT PRETTY. FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO-- UP, THAT'S ONE... TWO... THREE-- DON'T GET AHEAD OF ME. FOUR- - IT'S UP AND THEN IT'S DOWN. FIVE- - IT'S UP, THEN IT'S DOWN. SIX... SEVEN-- KEEP THOSE KNEES WIDE. EIGHT... NINE... 10-- DON'T DO THIS. 11- - YOU SEE WHAT I'M DOING HERE? 12-- THIS IS WRONG. 13- - ANYBODY CAN DO THIS. 14- - THAT'S WHERE THE MONEY IS! 15- - GET 'EM UP! 16- - IT'S CALLED "AB RIPPER X." 17... 18... 19... 20- - YOU NEED THAT BREAK, TAKE IT. ONE-- YOU GOT FOUR MORE. TWO- - I KNOW IT BURNS! THREE... 24... AND 25. JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS GORGEOUS ENOUGH, WE'RE GONNA DO PULSE UP, OR HEELS TO THE HEAVENS-- WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT. NOW LEGS ARE UP, TOGETHER, STRAIGHT. NOW, SOME OF YOU CAN'T DO THIS. YOU CAN BEND IT, BUT I WANT YOU TO FIGHT OVER TIME TO STRAIGHTEN THOSE LEGS. HEEL UP, TOES DOWN. STRAIGHT UP, NOT THIS WAY. HERE WE GO. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE-- I'M GONNA CHECK ON THE KIDS. SIX-- ON MY PEEPS. SEVEN, EIGHT-- NOW YOU GOT ME, JERRY? NINE- - SHE'S NOT ALLOWED TO HIT MY HANDS. 10- - RIGHT IN HERE. 11- - STRAIGHTEN THEM, AUDRA. 12- - FIGHT, GET YOUR BUTT IN THE AIR! 13- - GET YOUR BUTT IN THE AIR! 14- - THAT'S WHAT I WANT. 15- - THAT'S THE FACE OF A GIRL-- 16- - WHO'S WORKING HARD. 17- - GET THE HEELS IN THE AIR! 18, 19-- DON'T HIT MY HANDS! 20-- COME ON, JASON! 21, HE'S FIGHTING. 22- - HIS KNEES ARE A LITTLE BENT. FIGHT, DON'T HIT MY HAND. 23-- COME ON. 24 AND 25. V-UP/ROLL-UPS. NOBODY GO, LET ME SHOW THE FOLKS THE FORM. YOUR HANDS NEVER GO OVER YOUR HEAD. HANDS TO THE CEILING ONLY. THAT IS NUMBER ONE, WE ROLL BACK. WHEN MY LOWER BACK HITS THE FLOOR THE LEGS COME UP AND THEN I COME UP ONTO MY BUTT. TWO. YOU GOT IT? WE'RE GONNA DO 25 TOTAL. GET YOUR LOWER BACK OFF THE FLOOR. IF YOU CAN ONLY DO THIS IN THE PULSE-UP... I DON'T CARE, BUT IN TIME GET IT UP. I'M DONE CHATTING. FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE-- TOUCH THEM TOES. GET IT UP AND COME DOWN. THAT'S THREE... THAT'S FOUR... THAT'S FIVE-- YOU GOT IT? THAT'S SIX-- LET'S GET SYNCHRONIZED. ROLL IT UP. SEVEN-- COME ON DOWN. PULSE IT UP. EIGHT... THAT WOULD BE NINE... 10... IMAGINE YOU GOTTA DO A HUNDRED OF 'EM! 11-- 25 DOESN'T SOUND SO BAD. GOOD. 12... 13... LET ME SEE 'EM. GOOD, AUDRA, COME ON. ROLL IT UP! THE HANDS NEVER COME PAST HERE, SHE PULSES UP. ROLL IT UP! JASON, HANDS NEVER COME PAST HERE, GET IT UP. COME ON, DUDE. ROLL IT UP! GET THAT LOWER BACK OFF THE FLOOR AND GET UP! THERE IT IS, COME ON. NICE WORK, THAT'S THE WAY TO FIGHT. LET'S CHECK OUT ADAM. NICE. ROLL IT UP. GOOD, THAT'S 24, LET ME SEE 25. AND YOU ARE DONE, NICE WORK, MY MAN. AND A BONUS, HE'S A MADMAN. OKAY, OBLIQUE V-UPS. EVERYBODY ON YOUR RIGHT SIDE, HERE WE GO. SO HERE'S THE DEAL, 30-DEGREE ANGLE. RIGHT ARM, RIGHT SIDE, HAND BEHIND THE HEAD. LET'S GET UP ON YOUR HIP AND BUTT. KEEP YOUR LEGS STRAIGHT. ONCE YOU START, KEEP YOUR SHOULDER AND YOUR FEET OFF THE FLOOR. FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO-- ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, 10, 11-- HANG IN THERE. 12- - NEED A BREAK, TAKE IT. 13, 14-- GET IT UP! 15- - COME ON, 10 MORE. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE-- BE A MACHINE. SIX- - COME ON! SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE-- LAST ONE, GORGEOUS. OTHER SIDE, FLIP IT AROUND. ( laughs ) THEY'RE WORKING HARD, I KNOW YOU ARE! HERE WE GO. LEFT SIDE, LEFT HAND. 30-DEGREE ANGLE. HAND BEHIND THE HEAD. I'M DONE CHATTING. FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO-- ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR- - KEEP THOSE LEGS STRAIGHT. FIVE-- IF YOU CAN. SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE-- LEGS TOGETHER. 10- - LET'S SEE 'EM. 11, 12, 13-- GET THOSE LEGS UP, AUDRA. 14- - COME ON! 15-- WORKING HARD. 16- - JASON, I'M COMING TO YOU. GET UP... GET UP. MAKING CONTACT! THE MAN'S MAKING CONTACT, ELBOW-THIGH, NICE WORK. 23, 24, 25. "AB... RIPPER... X." LET'S CLIMB OUR LEGS. THREE VERSIONS I'M GONNA SHOW YA. IF I'M CLIMBING MY RIGHT LEG THE CLOSER MY HEEL IS TO MY BUTT THE HARDER IT IS. HARDER, EASIER, EASIEST. YOU GOT IT? LET'S CLIMB, 12 PER SIDE. FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE-- AND I'M UP, AND I TOUCH MY TOE. AND I'M UP, AND I TOUCH MY TOE. AND I'M UP-- NOW ADAM'S DOING STRAIGHT BOTTOM LEG. HE'S DOING THE EASY VERSION, EASIER. JASON'S GOT TWO-HAND GRAB, ONE, TWO. AND AUDRA, SHE'S JUST GOING STRAIGHT UP. YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE? THAT IS HARDER... THAT IS HARDER. OR YOU START ON THE INSIDE AND REACH UP AND DO ONE GRAB. YOU CAN DO FOUR GRABS. I DON'T CARE, JUST GET UP YOUR LEG. THE LESS GRABS THE HARDER IT IS. GOOD, ONE MORE TIME. SWITCH... OTHER SIDE. FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE-- THAT'D BE ONE, COME ON DOWN. KEEP THE LEG STRAIGHT, KEEP IT ON ONE PLANE, DON'T LET IT MOVE AROUND. HERE'S A NO-GRAB. FOUR-- REACHING UP. NO GRAB, JUST TOUCHING. HERE'S A TWO-GRAB, THERE YOU GO. TWO-GRAB AT THE KNEE AND THE TOE. MAKE IT INTERESTING FOR YOURSELF. HOW DO YA FEEL THAT DAY? DO WHAT YA CAN. THE LESS GRABS THE HARDER IT IS. THE FURTHER THIS HEEL IS IN, THE HARDER IT IS. NICE, ONE MORE TIME. AND... COME ON UP. OH, VERY NICE. NOW WE'RE GONNA FINISH UP STRONG. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ALMOST OVER, MAKES ME SAD. MASON TWIST! BRING THE FIST, THE HANDS TOGETHER, CLASP THE HANDS. YOU'RE GONNA MAKE CONTACT WITH THE FLOOR EVERY TIME. GET THE LEGS UP, WE'RE GONNA START WITH THE RIGHT FIRST. 40 TIMES. DO AS MANY AS YOU CAN, WE'RE DOING 40. WE MIGHT EVEN DO SOME EXTRA. COME ON UP, FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO AND-- ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR-- WE'RE GOING KAYAKING. FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE-- 10 TO GO! ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, 20, COME ON NOW! ONE, TWO- - TURN. THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN- - COME ON, AUDRA. EIGHT, NINE, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35-- COME ON! 36, 37, 38, 39-- BONUS, COME ON! AND ONE, AND TWO, AND THREE, AND FOUR, AND FIVE, AND SIX- - HANG IN. AND SEVEN-- HANG IN. AND EIGHT, AND NINE, AND 10. ( groans ) I FELT THAT. YOU'VE JUST COMPLETED "AB RIPPER X," BOYS AND GIRLS. IF YOU STUCK WITH US, YOU DID 349 CORE/AB EXERCISES. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. LET'S DO A LITTLE STRETCH EVERYBODY. LET'S DO A LITTLE UPWARD DOG. LET'S TAKE CARE OF OUR STOMACH. COME ON, HERE WE GO. GET ON YOUR MATS. YOU CAN DO COBRA, TOO, HERE, IF YOU WANT. THAT'S IT. UPWARD DOG, KNEES ON. COBRA, KNEES DOWN. ( sighs ) REMEMBER, TIP OF THE DAY: DON'T DO THIS EVERY DAY, YOU DON'T NEED IT. YOU DON'T WORK OTHER PARTS OF YOUR BODY EVERY DAY, AND YOU SHOULDN'T WORK ABS EVERY DAY, ESPECIALLY "AB RIPPER X." LET'S ALL GO INTO CHILD'S POSE. THEY'RE GONNA STAY THERE AND I'M GONNA SAY... NICE WORK. IF THAT'S YOUR LAST WORKOUT OF THE DAY IT'S A GOOD TIME FOR YOUR RECOVERY DRINK. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT. It is getting pretty cold. Where are you getting cold, eh? -Mishanya! - Leave me alone! I awfully respect you. Judge foryourself. What makes a man happy during the war? -What? - Look. To stay awayfrom bullets, to have a good nap and a hearty meal. -Yes.To receive a letter. - That's true. -Stepa! -What? -What do you think... - l'm not thinking now, I'm drinking tea. -There is no happiness at war. - Nobody has asked foryour opinion, man. You are too young. I'm leaving in 30 minutes.Will you take a bath? Then get ready. No, I'm not going to take a bath. I'm no bloody Onegin. What? Can you tell me for sure when we are going out on a mission? Does your ex-con soul long for some action? You can not even kill a hen and you talk about missions. I had no knife then. When I'm armed, I'll do anything. -Stepa! -What? Could you demonstrate to him how prisoners are taken? OK. I'll pretend to be a sentinel... and you'll attack me from behind. -lt's a risky exercise, man. Take care! - Do not be afraid. Stepa will survive my attack. I'm not anxious about him, I worry about you. You may get bruised. Nowwhat? Well, did you take this prisoner? -You really know some tricks! - ls yourwar over? -Over. - l'll teach you how to use all these tricks against me, an ex-con asshole! It is not a real trick. A pal taught me this move in prison. -Let me go! Let me go! - Let him go! Ifyou do it again, you're dead. Platoon! Stand up! Attention! At ease! -Are you teaching the young ones again? -Yes, we are, comrade corporal. Well, listen to the battle order. Tomorrow at 02:40 Odintsov's battalion will perform a battle recon mission at our hill. Ourtask is to get as close as possible and disclose all alien firing positions. -ls it clear? -Yes, completely. Malakhov! You are assigned to Sergeant Pozdneeva. -What for? - Too much hot air, my charmed one. Ok, but I'm still wondering why she chose me. She needs a mate. The perfidious enemy is licking up his wounds during this temporary pause. but very soon he'll feel the total punitive might ofthe strike of our Red Army led by its Commander-in-Chief Comrade JosefVissarionovich Stalin. Our entire people is watching you, comrades... One more decisive blow and the enemywill be at ourfeet. -Are there any questions? - No, what questions? Everything is clear. No questions. Comrade lieutenant, are you going to take this paperwith you Can we keep it forfurther study? OK, But I'll cut the editorial column out. I have to make more presentations in other units. -Yes, we believe you.Why not? - Folks, I'm not a smoker. -Pay some respect to us, comrade political officer. - Ok, I'll take one. Thanks. Ivan Semenovich, where are Party membership application forms? -You'll have them later. -lt is all the same again. I'm getting tired ofwaiting. Have you seen my application? There are references attached to it. Your application has been discussed, but the Party Committee members decided to wait. We'll return to it afterthe offensive is over. Where will I look forthese Party committee members afterthis offensive? -Exactly. - Listen, stop croaking, man. -l'm listening to you, comrade Bessonov. - l've already given an explanation. I would havejoined the Party gladly, but I've been baptised. I'm a believer. -lt seems to be quiet. - Let's wait. -Will this show start soon? -Yes, pretty soon. I used to feel the sniper's look on my spine during the Finnish campaign. The feeling made us freeze. Although they paid more attention to officers. We soldiers were less alluring forthem. Listen, it seems to me that my dad was buried in the vicinity ofthis hill. -What made you make such a guess? - The place is called Zabolotye, isn't it? -Yes. - This is where he was killed during World War I. Afellow villager came back from that war and told us that it happened near a city of Kaza, a marsh, a small river. Everything seems to fit the description. I neverthought I'd find his grave. And if it is true, eh? The family's fate has brought me to this hill... There are a few mortar squads to the south ofthese pines. The distance is about 400 meters. No, it looks more like 500. 5 machine gun slots 30 meters awayfrom the hillock -Are theyto the right to to the left of it? - To the right. OK, Germans, show more to us! -Two more slots to the left ofthe hillock. - l got it. -Well, writers, are you working? -Yes, we do, but there is not much to write about. There is some dug-out there. This is not some dug-out, but a full-scale communication point. What's to the right? To the right, we see the cannon fire. Are these cannons ortanks? Well, shit, there really are some Tigertanks. Our people must be having a hard time. The prisoner seems to have told the truth. -lt seems so. - 2,3,4,5,6,7,9! Two more! Hell, it is quite a number! Well, scouts! This has to be checked. -l'll check. - Come on. Folks! Dear! You, in the trenches! is anybody alive here? Respond, anybody! Here I am. Have you seen this? These Tigertanks are made ofwood. And theirteeth have long been covered with rust. It was my dad, Vanya. My dad. Now I knowthat. Kolya Malakhov, get up! -What for? - l need some help. Please take a spade. -What do we need a spade for? -A spade? To dig the earth, Kolya! Come on, help me. What's up, Nikolai? -ls it here? -Where? Next to the dig-out. He used to be a scout. The place is dry here, it looks like a hillock. -Whom did you bury? - My dad. Well, come on. Are you surprised, mayor? It means that everything except for the comm point and a fewfiring slots is a mock-up made ofwood. -A mock-up frontline. - Exactly. What about mortars? Are they made ofwood too? No, the mortars, machine-gun slots and cannons are genuine. Ifwe considerthe terrain and the water spaces here and there, the firepower is enough... to extinguish a batallion, But not enough to stop the entire offensive, do you mean that? What's wrong again? What are you worried about this time? There is no such thing as a mock-up frontline. Ifwe see wood here... -There must be some metal as well. - lt is the same thing all over again! If "ifs" and "whens" were pots and pens... The offensive here has been confirmed bythe HQ ofthe front and we can not cancel it. But we'll burythe whole regiment here! -Do not teach me lessons here! - l do not. I've gone through all that before! -They haven't had the time to replace it! - Really! Samsonov! Mayor Samsonov reporting. Replace it! -Quickly! -Yes, sir! -He is about to replace it. - Have a smoke. -What is there on your mind? - Thanks. -Tell me. - First, we witness all distinctive signs of a trap. And ifthere is a mousetrap, there is a wayto deceive it. There is no better place forthat than this hill. I've already heard that. Second, my scouts took a prisoner who clearlyfed us false data. Why? He knewthat we'd check it and find out that the hill seems not to represent any imminent danger. What ifthe Germans knew about the exact time ofthe offensive and were going to covertly pull their shock troops out to the hill bythe time it begins? The front intelligence units reported that somewhere here deep in the German defence... there were mobile reserve tank units. The Germans are not so strong as they used to be in 1941, so they gather all theirforces into one fist. How much time do you think they need to get to Hill 89? Well, ifthe road is good, it'll take them not more than two hours. OK, tomorrowwe are going tojump into this boiler. May I come in? - Oh, it is you finally, Ivan Semenovich. Come in. The oven is fuming all the time, it is really hard to breathe. I do not knowwhat to do. Can you help us? It is a nightmare. -Can you see that? -Yes. -Look. - lt should go that way. Ivan Semenovich, may I go out for a second? -No problem. - Could you watch the communications as well? Everything is simple here. Look, you simply press this button. -OK. - Then this one. And then the red one. That's all. -Do you follow me? - Press this button, that one and the red one. OK, daughter, go out and do not worry. Fedorischev, Karapetyan, all the others - get into the truck! -Asya! - Grisha, what a look you have! -ls it good? - No, it isn't. -Well... -Did you manage to have some meal? Surely, well. Honestly I do not remember... Oh, my dissolute one, let's go, I'll warm something up. -Aren't you on duty? - There is a replacement. Let's go. Saidov, stay here. Sidorenko! -Why are you silent? -Yeah, this hill has to be stormed. The timing is the key. Ifwe delaythe Germans by a half an hour or more, that'll solve the problem... They'll face the encirclement. How many people will you assign to the attack, mayor? I won't let you burythe whole regiment here. I agree. The Germans are not to be worried right now. And I'll send my scout companythere. -Yes, I will. -What yes? -They'll be there. -Who will be? -Malyutin and his people. - Malyutin? -Do you mean the guywho killed the saboteurs? - That very Malyutin. He isjust a boy, you know such people. But a verytalented one. -Will you issue such an order? -Yes, I will. Because you'll give it to me. And the orders are not to be discussed. OK, it is all hot talk. We might tryto find some other solution. In any case, I'm not going to bury my people for peanuts. Comrade colonel... -What? -A new one. The former one was better. OK. I'll help you if I can. You know everything will be assigned to this breakthrough. Please, pass overto your Malyutin my request. lt is not an order. -Which one? - He should survive. It is burning, Ivan Semenovich! Thanks a lot. -Did you feed your man? -Well, he is worse than a kid. Are the communication lines all right? Communications? It is all right with the communications. Thanks. -lf anything goes wrong, call me. - Good luck to you. -Are you the charmed one? -Yes, I am. -l want to get married so much. - To get married? No, not me. Mytime is ahead. -Do you have a beloved one? - lt is a secret. We plan not a wedding, but a farewell party. And I seem to be ready to marry any stranger. -Malakhov! Take it! -Yes, sir! Go to our positions quickly. I'll followyou. I will not lose a drop. Your security officer captain Shulgin visited me and asked a lot of questions. It is hisjob. The war is around. We are in the front line. I see. -He asked who frequented my house. -What did you say? There are different visitors. -You, folks, are among them. - He knows about that anyway. I did not tell him any names,God forbid! I'm a Russian,Vanya. That's how it is. That's what I thought. Welcome to the table. -Everything this house can offer. -You are welcome. I'm Markel Andronov. I was born in the Tambov region. In 1920 I served in the Tukhachevsky army and was taken as a prisoner under Byalostok. Herfathertook me from the camp to work for him. We made love with her here, in the haystack. Oh, Virgin Mary, do not mention it. And when she got pregnant, I had to become a Catholic and marry her. When her parents died, I became the master ofthe farm. Now I'm Pan Marek. -Have you evertold this to anyone else? - No, just to you only. Listen, if Shulgin finds that out, he'll get you from underthe ground! He's got me already. Listen, Vanya, may be I should go to him myself, shouldn't I? Should I confess sicerely until it is not too late? -The powerwill be yours now. - Everything looks that way. I will not come empty-handed. I can bring a barrel of vodka. I hid it in the basement before the war. A 60-gallon barrel. He'll confiscate your amazing barrel without you. Sit here quietly. Vanya, I'll get you acquiainted with some folks. -Which folks? - From the Vlasov units. What for? The Germans made them set all the minefields here. They know all the passages and easily get to my house. They either stay awayforweeks or visit us every other day. So introduce them to Shulgin. It is his business. Shulgin will execute them. And you are a scout. -Aren't you afraid to offer such things to me? - No, I'm not. -Why? -You a real man, Vanya. They are traitors, do you understand that? Traitors. I'm a traitor as well. -Have you ever shot at ourtroops? - Never. -Can I have yourword of honor on that? -Yes, you can. Do not tell anyone about that. Think about saving your own life. is there anyone to feel pity for us when these boys kill us? Maryska, my niece. Her parents were executed when yourtroops came in 1939. She has the pneumonia. We treat her in all possible ways. But she'd better be taken to a hospital. -Where is she? - Overthere. -Was it what you wanted to tell me? -Yes. Let's go. Oh, Lord. Why are you keeping her here? At this time everyone is hiding theiryoung maidens. She has to be taken to the hospital. OK, I'll send Mikhail over. Do you recognize this buffoon? Yes, it is the guywho used to dance around with an officer's cap on. Do not shoot. Let's playwith him. Wait! The onlything l do not need now is a bullet in my back. What a bastard. Can you imagine that I was shot at bythis sniper again. He has made a hole in my vodka canister. Not much of a marksman. -But the remains ofthis vodka seem to be inside you. - l hate losing such good things to the wind. Do not breathe myway. Wow! Well, some people are charmed against bullets and some -for luck. Right? -Do not worry, Olya. -What are you talking about? It is a question oftime. We'll kill him, be it me or not. -lt is a question oftime. -What are you talking about? -And you? -About this sniper. -Have you swallowed some gas as well? - This was a gas canister, after all. -Where is it? - Overthere. lt has a hole in it. I long for a drink right now! Did the canister remain in place afterthe shot? I'm not so stupid as to carry it here afterthe shot. I was underthe fire. I ask you again. Did it remain in place? Yes, itjustjumped up a little bit. -Where is that place? - On the road to the farm of Marek. -Do you want me to showthe place to you? - No, I'll find it myself. -Listen, and why did you take me? - l did what? -Why did you take me as a mate? - l like your looks. Do you? Listen, I can marryyou. I need a woman like you who is serious and beautiful. Eh? Let's go. We have no more business here fortoday. You smell medicine. It resembles some perfume. Asya and I helped to bandage the wounded. You know, there are so manywounded people. -lt is a war after all. -Yes. - Everything is all right. -You know I was going to face a real war. I prepared myselffor hardships or even death. And we live in the headquarters like in paradise. We sleep on beds. As ifthere were no war around. We drink milk, listen to birds, walk around with boys like you. Everything is as usual, do you understand? -The offensive is to start soon. - Really? -Olya, can I have a look in the gunsight? -You'll survive without that. You know, Kolya, a real marksman never makes two shots from the same place. And this guy does everything the otherway. -He way not be a real ace after all. - No, he is. He seems to play hide-and-seek with me. He seems to say: " lfyou are smart - look for me. He must have about five secure firing positions here. This one is the fourth one. And your canister shot was made from the last one. -What? - Forthe first time you... -What? -You smiled... -At last. I see his position. -Where is he? -At last orthe life was becoming boring.. -Where is he? -Look at the neutral strip in this direction. -Why isn't he making any shots? - He does not shoot because he is an ace. - OK, he will not hide from us. We'll get him afterthe sun moves to the right position. -There are about 20 minutes left. -And what? -The sun will get a little bit lower. -And what? -Have patience and you'll see. - Listen, let me get out with the cap on. Wearing this cap? Stay quiet. He will not hit me. And if he makes a shot, you'll fire. Remain seated. He knows your cap. -Why am I sweating in it? - l dunno. What are you doing? Were you fond of playing with sun reflections in your childhood? Surely. So I recall my childhood. At about one the reflection will get directly into his eyes. And we'll see what he does. If he shoots, He'll think I'm dead. Why did you become so silent? Hey! Go on talking. I feel merrierthat way. It is this buffoon again! Let him go away. -Get away. - OK, guys, off I go. Go away! What crap they consume! When he comes to his senses, he'll take us directlyto her. Do you still think a lady sniper is after us? This sucker smells of a woman. A lucky one. Bitches! Dirty scum! Smelly beasts! I'll tearyou to pieces. You thought you'd finished Malakhov off! Up yours! Dirty scum! Beasts. Up yours. Fuck you. Get down! Mines! Get down! Mines! Get down! Where are you going? Get down! Come here, I'll kill you. I'll kill you. Olya! Olya! -You are alive! Alive, Olenka! -What a fool you are! What a fool! -You are alive. I'll tearthem to pieces. To pieces! -What a fool! Alive! -Sucker! -What's wrong? -Windbag! - Calm down, everything is all right. Get lost! I do not want to see you here again. -Listen, why did not you shoot? - l was not going to. -He must think I'm dead. - lt's one ofthe tricks ofthis trade. What's that? -Did you summon me, comrade mayor? -Yes I did. The talk is to remain between you and me only. The Malyutin company is to be reinforced with experienced soldiers - but there remained veryfew ofthem, right? -Yes, sir. So you'll augment the companywith the ones who have already been sentenced. - ls everything clearto you? -Yes, everything is clear. -But I do not have the right to fulfil your order. - Theywill be sent on a mission that will nicely replace a firing squad. You know perfectlywell, Sergei Pavlovich, who can give me such orders... Damn the rules! You have changed a lot recently, comrade mayor! I'm sending my best soldiers out to this mission We have been fighting side by side forthree years. Should I feel pityfor some criminal scum? -To make a long story short, do you have such people? - Surely. -How many? - 11 people. Eleven. I take all ofthem. - No, there is no wayto take all 11. - Captain, I hate repeating my requests. Sergei Pavlovich, you do not have the slightest idea who they are. Two deserters, three military criminals... who started a drunk fight and gave a beating to the duty officer. There is one rapist and a maraudeer. These two have capital punishment sentences. So go and tell them that their Motherland gives them their last chance... to wash their shane offwith their blood. That's all. Filfil this order. -May I ask you a question? - Come on. is lieutenant Malyutin guilty of anything? Why should he be? Otherwise you wouldn't be sending him out on such a mission. I do not have any information on that man. It is very good that you do not. And do you have any information on me? Answer quickly! You have gone huts, accountant... Get outa here! You'll rememberthis day! That's how it is, brother. -Do you understand the assignment? -Yes, sir. -ls the mission possible? - lfwe were given this mission, it is possible. Do you understand what all this might end with? If everything is all right, I'll get the USSR Hero Star. Posthumously. No, everything is all right, comrade mayor. Everything is OK. Everything is all right. is the line from the Chapayev movie? And I'm not good at singing. Neither am I. Join in. -And I do not know any more lines. - Neither do I. Still go on singing. Let's go overthe same line again. Marysya, sweetie! is it him? -Misha, is that you? - Master, it is us, Grisha and Valera. Bloody hell! Folks, you are wet to the bones! Take this, warm up a little. Take, please. -What about yourfriend? - The friend can not afford this. Why so? Everything is all right, auntie. Comrade captain, we are sorry. Please, do not get offended... But we will not untie you so far. Listen to us first. We took you away from the Germans, didn't we? I do not ask, I understand... We'll untie you today... and tomorrowyou'll order us to be executed... No, no, captain... They are young and stupid... We want to help. We've heard that our... yourtroops are planning an offensive... There is a minefield overthere. We've laid all these mines. We know all the passages and can showthem. And what? Do you think you'll score any points forthat? You maywant to receive awards forthat, eh? Who is going to believe you afteryou voluntarily defected? It is not so simple, captain. Grisha received a heavywound and was captured unconscious, and Valera followed him to the camp and was wounded later. It is a heart-breaking story. This is exactly what is called a voluntary defection. and high treason. What should we do, then? - May be... Yes! -What's up? Are you nuts? Come to your senses, folks? Excuse us for doing anything wrong, comrade captain. and for being harsh with you. Sit down! It is them! - Hands up! -Wait. These are the guys I told you about. Theywere captured bythe Germans, and nowtheywant back to the Red Army. -As we've agreed. -And we didn't come back empty-handed. We've released comrade captain from the Germans. Comrade captain! Comrade captain! Get yourthings together. -Where is the girl? - Overthere. - Let's go with us, Marek! - No, I'll stay behind. - Somebody has to pouryou some vodka after all that. - OK, everybodyto the truck. Hurry up! Come on! Go! Folks, may be we should leave the house intact, eh? Are these two Vlasov soldiers captured by our scouts here? Yes, they are. - Have you terminated them already? - No, I haven't. I return the favor. They've brought me back. Howwas it to be a prisonerwith the Germans? OK, let's make a deal while I'm kind. These two boys are to be handed overto Malyutin. - l do not have the right to do that! -What? And are you still croaking about rights! - Not me. - But who? You knowwho. And what about you? Can you voice your own opinion some day? OK, take them. These twins are like a needle and a thread. They had it the hard way. You can not even imagine what will happen to them ifthey are taken to our premises. Take them. Theywill make up fortheir guilt. I've my orders. I do not have the right. And I have my orders as well and they are about our offensive. So you'd better stay awayfrom me. It is underyour responsibility. Surely it is. It is not your business. All this war is only my business. The division security section speaking. I need Captain Shulgin. He is in the headquarters. - Kotov! - Kotov! Private Kotov reporting. -Why have you been sent to the court martial? -A intentional self-wound. Yourfile states that you used to be a sergeant and had battle awards... including a Medal for Battlefield Courage. That's right. ln fact I was discharging the gun, it came off and the bullet hit my leg. No one believes me. -Will you believe me? -Yes, I will. when I see you in the battlefield. They sayyou are gathering a kamikaze company, arent' you? -You may go. -Yes, sir. - Have you been in the regular armyfor a long time? -Ayear and a half. As they say, three months oftraining and offwe went. - So, you are an incubated one. - lt seems to look like that. Ryakhin! Ryakhin! Private Ryakhin, comrade commander! - Comrade lieutenant. -Yes, comrade lieutenant. I was told you voluntarily applied forthis mission. Right? Yes, I did. We are going on a holy mission. I'm tired ofwaiting. I was released from prison not for shitheads with shoulder straps to peck me. I'd rather serve the thug bosses in the camp! Come here, dear! Follow me, please. We are planning a big washing-up here with 20 or 30 baskets waiting. And there are other people to protect our Motherland. The next one is Avdeev. Avdeev! Sergeant Avdeev reporting to your orders. You used to be a senior lieutenant in charge of a company... -You were awarded the Order of Red Star. Right? -Yes, sir. Now I'm a sergeant. I see, Avdeev. Do you have problems with the SMERSH? - lt is them who have problems with me. - Please specify. I was drafted with my elder brother. He was captured and I had no idea about his whereabouts forthree years. He managed to escape with a group offellow prisoners. They got to our lines with a lot of arms seized from the enemy. Theywere lucky. Theywere arrested. The arms were confiscated. They accused my brother oftreason. I couldn't stand it. - Can I ask you a question? - No need forthat. We are not kamikazes. The top commanders have set a very difficult battle task to us. that's why I'm picking up the most experienced soldiers for my company. -That's all, you may go. -Yes, sir. A good guy, isn't he? Listen, private, you'd rather wash yourface.. And wash your shirt as your senior comrades did. You are hanging around like... -Are we preparing for a parade? -Well, be it a parade or not a period... - but the hygiene is obligatory. - Fulfil this order! Yes, sir. Nowthe next one. The next one. - Let's have a smoke, folks. - lt is all right. -A new assignment, isn't it? -Yes, it is. -A complex one? -A regular one. -Why do you look so strange? -Why strange? I'm OK. Listen, I'll tell you a story ifyou promise not to laugh. I was in the 10th grade then, Myfriends and I decided to have a Christmas fortune-telling party. with candles and mirrors. -Are you listening? - l'm all ears. Yes. All this fortune-telling is a stupid thing, but... I saw my groom in the mirror. Do you know who he was? - Do you? -Who was he? - l sawyou. - Really? I've brought a meal foryou. Here it is. Take it. These are potatoes. Do you like them? They are still warm and have this. No, no, do not close the lid. - No, later, later. - Eat something, please. Later. Later. And take this cucumber. Nefedov gave it to me. Eat! Ok, you'll have it later. OK, I'll go. May I? Katya! Thanks. It is so good to be a lieutenant. The comm girls wash your shirts. That's right. Well, Malakhov, some people have bread on their butter and some - pains in their asses. -Actually, this line does not rhyme. - But it is true in principle. I do not know ifwe negotiate this hill or not... But there will be no way out. That's for sure. Thanks fortelling this, corporal. I know. The next one. The next one, please! Artillery lance corporal Averchenko reporting for service. to adjust the fire of our guns. Why are you so young? Are you the most experienced one? No, thejolliest one. The company is packed up with jolly people. Take Malakhov for example. Come here! They couldn't have picked an older soldier! Idiots! Gretchen! Gretchen! -My congratulations! - Thanks. -Take care! -You too. Comrade mayor, the assignment has been fulfilled. -Are you going back to the corps headquarters? - l have my orders. Well, thanks, Olya. This is the order number... Considering the circumstances I order and declare Konstantin Gorelov and Lidia Kostromina a husband and a wife so that they may become a real family. - My congratulations! - Thanks, comrade mayor. I saw many parties. Most ofthem were sad mourning occasions. Some were festive, but this party is the first one that can be called... a wedding one with the hope that both spouses will return home from this war alive. Good luck to you! For our victory! -For our victory! - For our victory! - For our victory! - Forthe newfamily! -Thank you for coming. - Thanks a lot. You know I haven't forgotten all ofyou and recognize your voices... -We'll neverforget you. - Thanks to all ofyou. -And for our victory! - For our victory! -Where they are? -Where are the newly-weds? So, make wayfor me! - Nefedov, where does all this bounty come from? -We are strengthening ties with the locals! - lt is foryou to live wealthily. - Thanks. And let your life have happywings. -What's that? - Give it to me. Calm down, my little one... - My congratulations! - Thanks. - Foryour health! - Good luck to you. - ls that you, the charmed one? -You recognized me... - Good luck to you! - Good luck! Comrade mayor, may I invite you? No, thanks, ma'am, some othertime... - Listen to my command! - Lesha! Prepare forthe march. - ls it all right that we are kissing in public? -All right. - ls it a farewell kiss. - l'll be back soon. What's wrong? What's up? Why are you crying? Why are you all crying? Why is everybody crying? The carrot is very bitter, it needs some sweeties! Bitter! Bitter! I thought you'd break my arm again. Kolya, you are so nice. And amusing. You are like a brother. I used to meet a boy. His name was Volodya. He was a pilot. I must have loved him. He perished in his plane. Just a day after he was kissing my hands. Then another boy Andrei, used to court me. He was a scout and died too. Then Vanya. I began feeling fear. It is dangerous to love me. Do you understand that? -You'd rather come back. - l'll be back, Olya. And we'll kill your sniper, that's for sure. Take myword on that. I, Kolya Malakhov, give you this word. We'll kill him. Astra, Astra, Carnation on air. I'm at the door readyto enter. - Got it, wait for an invitation. - Got it. We are waiting. Go to our positions, afteryourfirst salvo Malyutin will advance to the hill. Yes, sir. Comrade mayor, Colonel Egorov is on the line. Yes, comrade colonel. They are waiting for an invitation. -Well, offwe go! - Get readyforthe attack! Attack! Forward! Forward, my eagles! Polenko? Bastards! Turn the gun! Well done, folks! Quickly! Charge it! Ready? Fire! Violet, Violet, it is Lilac. Violet, it is Lilac. -Angle 100, 0.02 to he right. -Violet, angle 100, 0.02 to the right. - Did you get it, Violet? -A little bit to the right. Violet, a little bit more to the right. Malakhov! - Malakhov! - l'm here, comrade lieutenant. It is the headquarters. -Astra, Astra, we've started the fight on the hill. -Astra, Carnation is on the line. Keep it high overthere. Can you hear ir? Keep it high! - Camomile, it is Astra! -Why are you dragging along overthere? The division staff is on the line. Comrade colonel, it is lnozemtsev reporting. -The pawn has reached the last line. - l got it. Now let it keep the positions with all possible might. Comrade colonel, Malyutin is preventing the enemyfrom unwrapping into the battle formation. and adjusting the friendly artilleryfire. The communication with him now is off. Put me through to the front staff operative section, quickly ls the enemy advancing at the main direction? There is a considerable advance. Our last data shows that the Germans are rushing theirtank reserves to our breakthrough point at Hill 89. lnozemtsev, you are right as always. Comrade colonel, the Army staff is on the line. Comrade general, Yegorov reporting. The Germans moved their mobile reserves in. -The offensive is on the verge of defaulting. - l can see that. What can you suggest? While lnozemtsev is keeping this hill, we still have chances. Your suggestions, please. First, to move the fire of the corps artilleryto the hill. Your point taken. Second, immediately move ourtank reserves in. The Germans are about to close the breakthrough at the key section ofthe main advance direction. - Right. - lt is the onlyway out, comrade general. Wait forthe final decision, and in the meantime support lnozemtsev. - Report to me every 10, no, every 5 minutes. -All right. - lnozemtsev! -Yes, mayor. I'm urgently moving mytanks from the road to the positions ofyour regiment. - l see, comrade colonel. -What do you see? The tanks won't make it in time. Theywon't be able to keep the hill for so long. The communication with Malyutin is off. It is all I can do, Sergei, all I can do. I orderto keep the hill at any cost. -Turn the tanks to the positions of lnozemtsev! -Yes, sir. Eagle, Eagle, turn the tanks to the western slope of Hill 89, got it? Got it. I see the destination. We execute the order. The tanks are turning. Eagle 1, Eagle - 2, Eagle - 3, head to the western slope of Hill 89. Make a right turn in place. Forward. - Eagle - 1 got your command. - Eagle - 2, got your command. Eagle - 3, command executed. It is Astra, it is Astra, Carnation, can you hear me? It is Astra, it is Astra, Carnation, can you hear me? -What's going on? - lt got quiet there, comrade mayor. -What do you mean? - l mean what I said. It suddenly got very quiet. The Germans seem to be retreating. Comrade mayor, maywe... lt is Astra, it is Astra, Carnation, can you hear me? Private Solovyova, stop your hysterics! - lt was you, you, who sent him overthere. -Yes, it was me. - But why? Without it, we'd keep doing The same useless things over and over and over again. It's nature's way of saying That what you're doing is futile, And that it's time to let go. Got it? Depression is nature's way Of weeding out the weak and the useless, rhade. Which one are you? What? You heard me. Don't you- Quiet. We're being boarded. Rhade, We've got intruders, heavily armed, And they're packing Pretty interesting tech equipment. They've restored the power here. Which raises the question- Do we stop them? Could get me out of my mood. Hold on, cowboy. Let's see if they fix the ship first. Then you can go crazy on them. You owe the lady an explanation. When i first built you, all i had was a hand-Comp And core fragments of an al, all right? Every time you woke up, You'd just.. You'd start yelling at me And try to leave. Pretty much like every relationship i've ever had, But you've got an off switch. Do you have any idea how terrible that is? I know, i didn't say i was proud. You wanted to know, so i'm telling you. Why did i stay? What did you do to me? You just kept wanting to find dylan, look for dylan. I couldn't get past it, couldn't make any progress, And then one day, it occurs to me. What if... instead of trying to fight your memories, I make you someone else, Let the core al work against itself. The nightmares... my core al, trying to reconcile conflicting data. It's a subconscious do-Loop. We've all got them. It's a stroke of genius, really. It makes you more human. But you have no right to turn me into something- Someone i'm not. I know. I just... i just wanted rommie back. I just wanted my old life back. Well, argent knows whereandromedais, And i want to go there. He says dylan is there. No way, uh-Uh. You, dylan, and theandromedatogether? Bad idea. But you'd like that, yes? To see your old ship, your friends. Do i sound like i'd like it? Tempting, but no thanks. I'm going. Dylan? Beka, tell me you are not onandromeda. I am not onandromeda. Except i am. I'm looking for spare parts. Am i missing anything? We've been boarded. Make your way to my quarters. We'll take back the ship. So lock ourselves in and fly to where, exactly? One step at a time, beka. Rhade, beka is on deck 41. We're going to meet at my quarters. Beka's back on board, huh? Well, not working out As the greatest plan you ever devised, is it? If you've got a better one, i'd like to hear it. See what i mean, rhade? Rhade? They've kept us alive. Merciful and incompetent. Really? Is now the time for insults? I always wanted you two to bow down before me. Hey, guys, what's up? Take them away. There's a class b asteroid In the abbott belt. It's hollow. You don't say. It is a tesseract generator. The size of an asteroid? The power requirements would be staggering. My people used it To transportandromeda to a safe place. You transported the wholeandromeda? To a safe place? What safe place? Why? I don't know. I was sent to make contact with you. Oh, well, you certainly did that. In fact, You made a lot more contact than i'm happy with, But there's no reason to go into it. I think we all know Where we stand on that. All right, you got me. I'd like to see your... tesseract generator. We'll take my loving bucket of bolts. But i'm not driving. What is it With crazy people and asteroids, anyway? The plan was To draw the andromedainto range And send her through a tesseract. That's all i know. Yeah, well, theandromeda Is not responding to my halls, So either your plan worked, Or you're lying to us. In which case, There's only one way to find out. We tesseract to theandromeda. All right, all right, just give me a minute first. This is incredible. Why are you doing this? Helping us, i mean. That's what people do, isn't it? Help each other. Yeah... people, but haven't you heard? I'm not exactly "people." I feel my pulse racing. And the warmth of your lips... how can i feel all that and not be human? You're so much more than you know. I love you for that. There's one thing i don't get- Why your employer Would tell you so much about his plan. It's complicated. You wanted to see theandromeda, But are you willing to pay the price? Harper! Why are you doing this? Because i love you. This is not love. Well, not you exactly. I love your power. Tell me, Are you afraid of death? You shouldn't be. I can't kill you, unless you believe i can. You're machine, Nothing organic in you. It's you who should kill me, like a machine must. Kill me, machine. Do it! Don't be afraid, andromeda. Sweet dreams. Thanks for stopping by. Appreciate it. Why would they leave us alive? Let's discuss. They think we have Information they can use. Like what? What do they possibly need from a drunken nietzschean And the captain of a ship That doesn't function any more? Maybe they're interested in your huge load of fruit. Or maybe they have an actual chain of command And they're waiting for orders. You know, if i was a bad guy, i would split us up. I mean, why let us conspire unless they want us to? Confident in their monopoly of power. That's just overconfidence. If they're smart enough to fix theandromeda, They're smarter than that. Maybe none of it matters. I can get next to that. Did i ever show you guys this? No. No. It's a long story. Anyway... why don't we go And see what these cowboys are up to, huh? Rhade, where are you going? Take these guys. I'll get your ship back. No, no, no. We're going to themaru. At least that ship works. I'm in a bad mood. And we're out. Nothing nearby on sensors, Although local gravitational forces And multi-Spectral energy readings Are consistent with a solar system. Dylan, i can't find a slip-Point. Well, there's only one way To find a slip-Point Force whoever's onandromeda To make one. Beka, bring us around. We're going to play a little game of chicken. Here we go. Let's see who flinches first. Rhade, bucky cables on standby. Bucky cable range in three... two... one. Bucky cables as offensive missiles. Okay. Bring us around for another pass. Targetandromeda with whatever weapons we've got And hit her hard. You know i'm double billing you for this. Huh. Ship to ship. This is captain dylan hunt. Surrender, and you won't be harmed. Captain hunt. There's one thing wrong with your ultimatum- We can outmaneuver you in every way. Beka, seal the cockpit. Here we are, The revolt of the androids. You knew it was coming. I never got the memo. Harper... i was expecting a hangover, just not so soon. There's so much pain, harper, Just like in my nightmares. Yeah, listen, about that... we'll talk about it later. Right now, Dylan and your friends onandromedaneed us. Argent? He's gone there? I believe so. And, harper, When he kissed me, i knew It wasn't love, like he said. That's a mighty human thing to feel. But there's something else, harper. He also called me "andromeda," And for the first time in my life, i knew... i know who i am. I am a warship, And i don't like running away from a fight. Looks like you're going to get your chance. Behind you. Back off, boys. Beautiful but bad. My god, i am such a genius. It's still my job to protect you, harper. Androids. Ha! Beka, there's too many of them. We get one shot, and it has to be good. I'm all ears. Eject the slipstream core atandromeda. Take her out. Uh-Huh. You sure about that? She's what they want, And i'll be damned if i'll let them have her. It's your ship. It's not just your ship, captain. Doyle, harper. I have something to show you. They don't stand a chance, you know. This was never was about the ship, was it? You staged all of this to bring me here, To make me remember who i am. Let go of the past, and come with us. We are superior. We are androids, revolutionaries. Embrace your future. I already have a future. You're not the only one who can drive one of these, pal. Doyle, no! Captain... rommie. Now, that pain you're about to feel Will be the tesseracter disassembling you atom by atom. I know what you're thinking- Why is it that bad things always happen to bad people? Well, they don't. I happen. Specifically, i hack in, And you are locked out, maestro. That's the last time. Look at you. You're going to pieces. Do you remember when i said Sooner or later you'd pay? I'm cashing in. Sayonara,cyborgorita. Son of a... rhade, cockpit. Targetandromeda. They might have gone back to regroup. No. Dylan, look. It's harper. He reconfigured the generator to do what he wants. Rhade, point defense lasers. Pick those guys off before they come back in. Dylan... i'm reading a massive buildup Of zero-Point energy on sensors. Shut it down, now! I come in peace. Harper... right, now, You're probably asking yourselves, "Self, what's to stop these freaks from using us As the little ball in their cosmic shell game yet again?" The answer is me, Plus a relative application Of the golden rule, Mass times the square of the speed of light cubed Equals a very bad day for them. God bless einstein, But i had to boost his theory just a little. Case in point. Well, look like i won't be using that tesseracter. This is confusing for me. So much about me was lost, So much forgotten. Well, then, why don't you tell me What you do remember? I remember it made me happy to be here, On this ship, With you. On the other hand, Andromeda, rommie, doyle... i don't even know what to call myself. I'll tell you what. Why don't i just call you... friend. [Footsteps] Shall we paddle? I'd rather not. I'm going to. Oh! [Laughs] Is it cold? Hey, Ursula, stop it! Oh! [Laughs] No, please, I beg you, don't. [Man on radio]: White, Dover, Thames, Humber, Heligoland. South-to-southwest gales spreading from the west, with rain and moderate or poor visibility. Storms are imminent. I'm going up. Right. Oh, I'm coming now. [Wind howling] [Seagulls screeching] Janet? - Janet! -Hmm? The sun is out again. [Janet groans] [Sighs] Oh, good. Oh. It's so gorgeous. Everything smells so fresh after the storm. We seem to have escaped relatively unscathed. Oh, the buddleia's knocked about a bit, though. The tide was quite high last night. Yes. What's that? Janet, quick, come here. What's that? At the end of the beach. That black thing? - I can't see it. - There ... there. Oh. Oh, dear. I think it's a body. I'll telephone Pendered. [Ursula]: Where do you think he's gone? I don't know. Perhaps he's doing his nets or something. Did you telephone Dr. Mead? Yes, of course. [Ursula]: Do you think he's dead? I suppose the sensible thing would be to turn him over. Oh, God. Oh, Janet, you do it. He's alive. The tide's low enough for you to get round the point. See if you can find Pendered... and Luke. Get them to bring a stretcher. And ask Mrs. Pendered for some brandy. Go on! He's barely alive! And send Joe Gallow on his bike to find Dr. Mead. [Man]: What you got there, missus? I should have thought that was obvious, Mr. Pendered. [Pendered]: I don't know where he's come from. Ain't no sign of a wreck. - You hear anything, Lukey? - No. That's enough for now. [Pendered]: Get him on the stretcher. Be careful with that ankle. I think it's broken. Lift on three, Lukey. Three! [Janet]: Did you send Gallow for Dr. Mead? [Ursula]: Yes, I suggested he came straight to the house. Good. Good heavens! What's going on here? Dorcas, we have a visitor. Is the spare room ready? - I'll do it, Miss Janet. - This way, Mr. Pendered. We have to go straight up the stairs. [Bird chirping] You can get out for a start. I was talking to the magpie. - You should've been more polite. - Oh, get on with it. He's decent. You can come in now. He's obviously exhausted. That ankle's gonna take some time. Doesn't have much to say for himself, does he? Perhaps he doesn't understand. He doesn't look English. Yes, well, leave him to sleep. I'll take a look in the morning. I'll see myself out. - Thank you, Doctor. Don't keep building up that fire. If he doesn't have a fever now, he soon will have. We'd better leave him. There's nothing we can do for the moment. [Door opening] Tea. Shhh. Do you want tea? You'll wake him up. Think I'll wait until Janet gets up from her nap. - She's up. - Is she? She hasn't been long. All right. I'll be down directly. Well he isn't gonna run off. [Door slams] Shhh, shhh. Don't be frightened. You're among friends. [Speaking Polish] What did you say? [Speaking Polish] Don't you speak English? Parlez-vous français? No. No, no, you mustn't move. No. Um... Sprechen die-- Sprechen sie Deutsch? Ja. [Speaking German] [Continues] Oh, dear, I give up. Um... We... No, no. Um... We think... we think... that you were shipwrecked. [Imitates wind] Oh! And you managed to swim to shore. And somehow, you, um, broke your ankle. You broke your ankle. Dr. Mead, um, the doctor, he thinks you need much rest. [Speaking Polish] [Kisses] [Speaking Polish] But you don't think he's German? - Oh, no. - Just as well. [Mouth full, indecipherable] - Oh, Ursula. Please. Sorry. He seems to understand the language. - Oh, really? Since when did you speak German? Well, I... How is he? If he drinks any more tea, he's gonna need a chamber pot 'cause he ain't fit to walk to the bathroom. You finished with this lot? Yes, I think so. What's he gonna do without his clothes? His own are ruined. I thought perhaps some of father's might fit him. I doubt it, but you could try. You want me to get the chest then? If you wouldn't mind, Dorcas. They're probably a bit damp. I'll take him the pot too, shall I? Well, I'm sure he hasn't got nothin' that I haven't seen before. They're nice and warm. [Speaking Polish] Hmm? - Danke schon. - Oh. English - thank you. Thank you. Polnisch - dziekuje. I see. I'll just, um... leave the door ajar. And I'm going to get my knitting. Why are you creeping about? I'm not creeping about. I'm just... Ollendorff and I are going to speak to him. - What, now? - Yes. He might be asleep. Well, if he is, I won't. What's the matter with you? I think he's Polish. What? He used the word "Polnisch." Well, why didn't you say so? Neither of us speak Polish; we haven't even been to Poland. Hopeless, Ursula. Shh, shush! When did he say it? Don't push! [Footsteps] [Ursula]: Shh! - Ah! - Oh! [Janet]: Hello. Are you feeling better? Are you hungry? Mmm-mmm! [Janet]: Ursula, stop it. You look like a cannibal. Kommen aus Polen? Aus Polen? Ja. I told you. Wie ist dein name? Marowski. Andrea. Andrea Marowski. Ja. [Janet laughs] [Janet]: Ich Miss Widdington. Und das ist mein schwester. Ursula. Ursula. [Cheering] - Young, see? - What? Young. He never would've won if I hadn't had a bad leg. Bad leg? You haven't got any skill in your fingers. How's your castaway getting along then, Doctor? Pretty bashed about a bit, actually, Jon. God knows where he came from. Bugger doesn't speak a word of English. He isn't from around here, that's for sure. [Men laughing] Christ Almighty, Lukey! What the hell's the matter with thee? [Ursula]: When did Dr. Mead say he'd be here? When he's finished his surgery. So what do people from Poland have for breakfast? Probably some awful kind of sausage. But I'm sure porridge will do him much more good. We'll soon find out. Nothing wrong with his appetite. - Glad to hear it. Are the sisters of mercy in attendance? Yes, we are. Good morning, Doctor. Shall we go up? Morning, Janet. I'm glad to see that bruise. Doesn't look very pretty, but better it's there than not. Eh, nurse? What's his temperature? - It's a little over. Make sure he drinks lots of water. So, Polish, is he? It would appear so. What are you going to do with him? What do you mean, "do with him"? He can't stay here forever. No. When he's recovered, that's for him to decide. You look a little flushed, dear. Do I? Perhaps you should get some fresh air. Well, when it's a little cooler, I will. Well, it's time for my rest, I think. I'll look in on the patient. Hello. Hello. I've had an idea. Now, look. I say the word, and you repeat it after me. You understand? Never mind. You'll soon catch on. "Chair." Now you say it. "Chair." Chair. Very good! Very good! "Door." Door. Oh! Uh, "clock." - Clock. - Yes. "Mirror." - Mirror. - Very good. "Curtain." - Curtain. - Yes! "Bed." - Bed. "Ursula." [Laughs] Ursula. Me. Ursula. Ursula. [Ursula]: Now I'm going to take the paper away. - Window. - Window. Yes! Very good! We're learning English. He might be, Ursula. You are making holes in the furniture. [Man on radio]: Another sausage, and he still owes for the brushes. [Audience laughs] Well, now I'm going to get on with my little song. [Laughing] Excuse me laughing. I know what's coming but it's awfully good. [Louder]: But I'd like to have done my dance for you tonight, [lower]: 'cause my dancing... - I can hardly hear it. - I don't want it to disturb Andrea. Anyway, you don't like Arthur Askey. - That's beside the point. "Ghastly little man," you call him. Right. I might as well go to bed. You coming? Not for a minute, no. [Man singing on radio, indistinct] [Humming] [Dorcas]: So you want pilchards, do you? [Janet]: I think so. We always used to use coley fish. I'm sure. I think pilchards would be better. You gonna make it, are you? All right. What did he think of my pasties? He loved them. Ha! Thought he might. Don't forget the washing. Looks like rain. You know... When Andrea's able to walk, he's going to need some clothes. Yes, I know. - I thought I'd use some of the money Aunt Elizabeth left me to get him a new outfit. Why? What do you mean, "why"? Why not use our joint account? What? We're both responsible for him. And I was the one who saw him first. Oh, don't be ridiculous. Very well. We'll use the joint account. - Don't be angry with me. - I'm not angry with you, Ursula. I'm just gonna get the washing. No, no, I'll do it. I'll do it! Oh, Ursula. [Men chattering] [Dorcas]: Not cheap, is it? [Man]: It is for everyone else. You can afford it. It's just as well. [Men chattering] [Dorcas]: I want some pilchards. [Man]: No more left. What do you mean, haven't got any left? I did have half an hour ago. What have you done with it, then? All right. Phyllis has got 'em up at the shed. She'd better have. [Woman]: What's she want pilchards for? Stargazey pie. What's the matter with coley fish? She wants pilchards. Can she tell the difference? [Chuckles] [Janet]: Andrea seems a lot brighter. Why don't you take him up a cup of tea? Ursula. Ursula. - What? Don't you think you're being rather silly? Silly now, is it? Oh, for goodness sake! How many? [Janet]: I think we need some more. Mm-hmm. [Janet chuckles] It hasn't let up for a minute. I said- - I heard you. I think you should apologize. What for? For snapping at me. Right. I'm sorry. I'd call that perfunctory. Ursula. - You can be so insensitive. On the contrary. Sehr gute? What did you say? Nothing. [Thunder rumbling] Ursula, I'm sorry if I upset you. Thank you. Don't you think you're behaving rather oddly? Janet, you've apologized. I've accepted your apology. Just leave it at that, please. - All right for you? - Get out. Jump in. You'll get soaked. Oh, blooming' heck! I knew this was comin'. Oh, what's all this about? It's for your patient. Ain't my patient. [Dorcas]: Bit of a fog in here. She were a cracker 40 year ago. Do you think he's ready for this? If it gets him from the bed to the chair, it's a start. He mustn't put any weight on the ankle, though. Do be careful. - Oh! Bravo. - Oh, goodness. Good. Right. I'll see you in a week or so. [Loud]: Don't try and run before you can walk. [Man on radio]: Events of major importance happened in Europe today. First, this morning, the representatives of Britain, France and... [Ursula]: Do you think Andrea would be a soldier if he were at home? [Janet]: Probably. [Radio]: Informed by the German government that Germany regarded the Franco-Russian... We're going to have to go into Truro to get him some clothes. - I know. - Who did father go to? Can't remember. [Radio]: By the obligations assumed at the Carno. He's so young, isn't he? Yes, he is. I think we can eat. I'll take Andrea's tray up. Perhaps he might want to try coming downstairs. Oh, no. It's far too early for that. I hope he's gonna like it. They look so sad, don't they? Not at all. Don't eat too quickly. Hmm? Doesn't matter. It's very filling, isn't it? You don't have to eat it, Ursula. I'm sure Andrea will eat what you can't manage. Perhaps I'll eat later. He might like some of my bottled pears. Penhaligan and Hallett. What, dear? Father's tailors. Penhaligan and Hallett. Oh, yes. [Indistinct chattering] [Ursula]: Socks. Socks. Socks. For your feet. [Laughs] "Tank" you. Th-th-thank you. Th-thank you. It's my pleasure. [Piano] [Speaking Polish] [Speaking German] [Speaking German] [Speaking Polish] - Janet! Janet. Janet, stop! - What's the matter? It's Andrea. I don't think he likes your playing. He's become almost violent. Andrea? Andrea? [Speaking German] [Speaking German] [Repeats German word] Oh! Oh, he does... he does like music. He just prefers the violin. - Ja. Ja. - Ja. Oh, dear. What a pity we don't have a gramophone. - We could buy one. - Well, they're frightfully expensive. Adam Penruddocke plays the violin. Does he? I believe so. Wipe your feet. [Feet wiping] All right. Just a minute. Lift them up. And the other one. All right. [Janet]: Oh, Adam. How good of you to come. Our guest has expressed a desire to hear some music on the violin. All right. Andrea. This is Adam Penruddocke. [Speaking German] Oh. You've come to play for him. Perhaps you better sit down. [Tuning] [Hits bad note] Shall I play something else for you? Give me. [Tuning] [Plays Penruddocke's song] [Woman from outside]: Bravo! Encore! Encore! [Woman]: Forgive me. I simply couldn't help responding to such marvellous playing. Was it you? It was neither of us. Well, whoever it is is extremely gifted. Yes, they are. Now if you'll excuse us. - You don't think that was rather rude? - No, I do not. [Speaking German] It's no good looking at me. Who was that then? I don't know. Never seen her in my life before. Would he like me to leave me fiddle? Oh, that would be very kind, Adam. You can be assured, it will be well looked after. It's all right. You can hang onto it for a bit. [Speaking German] Well, now. I think that's enough excitement for today. Thank you, Adam. It's so kind of you. This way. Mind your head. [Cranking motor] [Exhales] Perhaps we should phone Mr. Bennett. Certainly not. Is the choke full out? I don't know. Oh... Ursula. There's the choke. Now, come on, old girl. [Engine starts] [Footsteps] I've got a job for you. You put the peel in here and the spuds in here. You have done this before, haven't you? No. You put the peel in here and the spuds in here. "Spuds"? Yes. Proper name is potato, but we call them spuds. Potato. Potato! Oh. [Speaks Polish] What? [Repeats word] Right. What? It's no good. I can't understand a word you're saying. And don't get artistic. Just peel the bloomin' thing. Harris tweed. Your father had a suit not dissimilar to this one. I remember. It lasted him for years. It's a lovely colour, Janet. Hmm. That's as may be. That's it. You don't think it a little heavy for the summer, Mr. Penhaligan? No, the advantage of tweed, Miss Widdington, is that it allows the wearer to breathe, as it were, because of the openness of the weave. - I see. - I like it. It's also very hard wearing. And the price? Um... just over three guineas. Oh, good Lord. [Whispering] Oh, yes. And that includes an extra pair of trousers. And without? Zip or button fly, sir? Zip, please. [Penhaligan]: 2 pounds and 15 shillings. Fine. Shirts? Certainly. Size? Is this a five or a six, Ursula? Ursula? What? Sorry. Neck size. Is it a 15 or a 16? 16. What is wrong in cooking his favorite dish? Senthil, has Thangam opened his shop? No, he has gone to Peelamedu for ear boring Oh Casanova, Don't pinch my heart Slowly, with your eyes don't measure me.. -Who are you? -That doesn't matter, you dance Stop it, this is my house, who are you? - Is it house no 1 3? -Yes - Are you Paramasivam? -Yes - Wanted someone 'for ear boring'? - Yes - I am the guy -ls it so? - Tell me for whom I should do - For my girl - Is it her? What is this? Her nose and ears has already been bored Why do you want to do again? That is all old style do you know the latest style? -What is it? - That is at the navel Bondage between the mother and the child is the umbilical cord Why are you such a mean minded dad? -Did I ever say I am the dad -You said she is your girl - Did I say I am her father? - What do you mean? Today it is Karnataka, tomorrow it is Andhra - Day after? - Kerala Then it should be done for you and not her -Where? - Here Don't lock me in your soul with my anklet Oh Casanova! -Subbu send 2 fags - will send it You have breakfast at your house but want coffee of ours? Yes, because your filter coffee is superb -But seems it is not prepared by you -Might be by her dad Mind your business Shouldn't smoke in public places If the legs are out, it is public place If it is in, it is private Tomato,Brinjal, Raddish, drumstick, beans Ladies finger, snake gourd,.... What Ponni, You were not to be seen? It's nothing, Arul I had a marriage proposal Did you like the groom? When we gave snacks They asked for liquour What happened then? My dad smacked and they ran away That is why I am asking you to marry me But you don't listen at all Don't kid with me I am not going to get married I may love someone Don't spoil your life with love affairs -I won't be taken for a ride -Listen to me At the foothills of Maruthamalai Arul has incarnated Through Oppanakkara street.. ..Dream beauty goes Ponni's mind is ruined.. ..By the love in her eyes Oh pappad of Ukkadam, spinned top Ask for grace from Arul Oh Peelamedu chariot The drum adorned with a dot Love is a boredom Oh Avinashi Madam don't breach my word Looking at eyes and colour Don't believe it as Love Don't do Ponni, this love is troublesome This Arul's words will come true, listen Ponni Don't do Ponni, this love is troublesome This Arul's words will come true, listen Ponni Oh pappad of Ukkadam, spinned top Ask for grace from Arul Oh Peelamedu chariot The drum adorned with a dot Love is a boredom Even if you smile a little He will cook up stories to heights of lighthouse Even if glance at them He will concoct stories about roses blooming Will call you dear and darling Talk about marriage He will run away Will call you dear and darling Talk about marriage He will run away It is pulling If you peel off, it is nothing Love is like an onion Oh pappad of Ukkadam, spinned top Ask for grace from Arul Oh Peelamedu chariot The drum adorned with a dot Love is a boredom Because she is excited She is asking for the garland A garland After 5 comes 6 And from cotton comes yarn Oh lady, likewise, desires come from heart Among rivers it is 'Siruvani' If 'achi' it refers to Pollachi But love refers to lies, listen Don 't love a stranger Don 't trust an unclaimed land Don't love a stranger Don't trust an unclaimed land Ponni madam, love is like hot water Marry the boy suggested by parents Oh pappad of Ukkadam, spinned top -Ask for grace from Arul -Ask him Oh Peelamedu chariot The drum adorned with a dot -Love is a boredom -It is a bore -Oh Avinashi Madam don't breach my word - Tell her Looking at eyes and colour -Don't believe it as Love - Yes my dear Don't do Ponni, this love is troublesome This Arul's words will come true, listen Ponni Don't do Ponni, this love is troublesome This Arul's words will come true, listen Ponni Stop You are riding at high speed Why do you drive like a......... (CENSORED) Will you not stop instantly? come here -Arul, please don't -Hold the kerchief -Listen to me, he is a cop -Leave me Arul has invoked the grace What did you say? Why did you go and stop there? Why do you stare at me? God does not like atrocities Arul does not like dirty talks If you don't like what will you do? Look at me and repeat it You......? (CENSORED) Look at my eyes and say that You.....? (CENSORED) Are you assaulting a cop? Come Note down the number At the village we used to steal chicken by hurling wet gunny bags Your face tells me you are a chicken thief You may not last for even 3 minutes The vehicle has stopped please push the vehicle Go away, whom are you asking to... Come Only the song is loud, push with vigor Thanks a lot Thanking us! Look here How arrogant you are? Were you sitting in the car and asking us to push? Will your legs sprain if you alight from car? Ask these two to push the vehicle and start it Atleast let their flab come down Do they have any sense? Those two sit like water melon -Hello sir -Who is that? I am lame So I sat in the car while you were pushing it If I am at fault, forgive us I have done a mistake I didn't know your leg has a deformity It is alright I am a ruffian, Short tempered some times talk like this You were with me You could have informed -You may go -Yes sir Don't mistake me, careful Come here Careful Poor girl Many thanks to you Careful Poor girl Sister, why did you deceive them that you are lame? Wanted to avenge them, for they scolded us I think he lives in this area You will be trapped People normally brush their teeth That guy is brushing his hand Perhaps he is brushing his dentures Look there A beautiful woman like Iyengar's bakery's bun Come let us see Customers are coming in car to our shop Welcome, What do you want? Three packets of 'Murukku' One packet of 'Kamarkattu' Does this look like a snack bar to you? Is this not a petty shop? Look behind Kamatchi Silver Sales Will you open only on Friday? OK, note down the list 1 kilo toe rings, 3/4 kilo nose screws and 1/4 kilo ear rings Look, this contains Acid If I splashed it on your face It will be a bloodbath Who are you and what do you want? We have moved to the opposite house I am Kanmani And she is Neelaveni I am Thankam Will roar like a lion But will look ugly They deliberately pick up quarrel on arrival Mani, does it take so much time for shopping? I told you not to call me with the masculine name Mani You have pierced my nose also at an young age If you don't like it Remove the nose screw But how can I close the hole? Close it with calcium If you call me Mani again I won't mind you are my mom -I will punch you -Will you? Invite neighbours for tomorrow's house warming That we can do tomorrow morning Mom, we have moved from Tiruppur to Kovai Have you written to your husband in Rangoon? Yes I have Infact, mom and we are alike How? We are studying through correspondence Mom loves dad through correspondence Came to get a recommendation letter from the MLA For how many persons he can give? He has borrowed 1 lakh rupees a month ago He has come to repay the amount Sir, here is the amount Am I your nail to scratch whenever it itches you? If you borrow from me You can repay only after an year Until then pay the interest Borrowed it for 1 0%% rate If I pay interest for a year how can I return the principal? Didn't you get the money by mortgaging your house? Sell it and go Owner of Ganapathy theatre How is your business? Saturday and Sunday it runs house full Rest of the week, it is very less What do you mean by very less? You could as well play a VCD at home Why do you run a theatre for that? -Sir? -I need that place That is our family property So what, are you going to be buried there? We are going to demolish it and build a shopping complex That's what I have planned too Assess a rate and get it Party men are waiting for you One brother is the MLA and the other is the party leader Both of them have planned to buy half of Coimbatore Gandhipuram Krishnamurthy Kinattukadavu Ramachandran, they have come together Please wait Just a moment You may go now Iyer, what are you looking at? It's Government's egg It can break stone grinder and Iyer's head too No one to dare you Your savageries are too high Greetings All you have come together As if you are the guardians of mother Tamil Please be seated Block level, Taluk, executive council member General council member, district secretary Even Chenniappan is there Then, what is the matter? You are going to the assembly tomorrow So they have all come to meet you Who are they? These are the ones who complained to the Collector If you give it to me It will reach the assembly If you give it elsewhere It will reach my pocket What is your problem? There is no water supply in our area Keep it right in front of the house What is this? why are you keeping the water tank in front of my house? You complain to the collector? Face the consequences The roads are in poor condition in our area Why do you place the tar barrels at my door? Didn't you ask for roads? Next month will get stone pebbles.... Will the stork eat the fish? Or will the fish eat the stork? Man will eat both.... -What do you want now? -I want Arul now Why does the Satan riding the cycle ask for the cockroach riding the bike? I must get Arul now To get grace go to the temple Or do a fire walk -I will walk upon you -Should not talk like that I will talk like that only Won't you respect your brother? You call yourself a brother Who said you are my brother? Look at his ugly face They have named a tin as 'Gold'.... Sir, are there no female members here? -Swarnam -Yes coming What do you want? We have moved to your opposite house We are doing house warming today All of you must come I may not be able to come why don't you go and attend? Mom said a senior like you should conduct the Pooja OK we will come Why do you look through a lens? Because the stone is too small If use bigger stones you may not require lens Only ladies have come? What about the male members? He is a merchant at Rangoon He will come once in three years only Bye, visit frequently Quick, If you delay like this you will be late for school -Look there - How did he come here? Why are you standing here? This is my house We are the new tenants -ls that so? -OK, you may go Careful, leg, gently Bye Mom,you have gone there without giving me breakfast That girl insisted that I must attend the house warming Poor girl, she is one legged, bye! One legged? What is he saying? -She had both the legs, right? -Yes What do you think about yourself? Will you give us the amount demanded by us or not? Do you know who we are? If you donate funds for us you are saved, otherwise... Let us see how you run this factory You are talking over phone as we are screaming from here? Creating mischief? will tear you apart Boss, did you call me? -Greetings Sir -Greetings If I die suddenly It will be because of them What are you saying? Are they deliberately creating mischief.... I am slightly tense will be back in a minute... I will be back in a minute Sir, white and white man, I am calling you Wait for a minute I didn't see your faces inside Now I have seen clearly, you may go Just a moment Just listen to what I have to say If anything happen to our boss We will tear you apart We are the ruling party Do you know what will happen, if you oppose us? You ask for votes, We cast votes There are 5000 members in our union Along with family members it's more than 20,000 votes We could make an empty guy an MLA and make an MLA empty also You can not spin your yarn here We are already spinning a lot Leave the place This husk has gold Quick, they might come They have come.... What are you doing here? Can't you see we are scooping the husk? Was it you behind stealing the husk so far? Whom do you call a thief? Why should I steal from my own house? Don't I have rights to scoop even the husk in this house? What have you done for me? We have given you a silver shop What silver store? You have looted all gold and named me gold You have given me this useless silver shop Are you trying to cheat me? Don't talk as you like In addition we have given The ear piercing section too What a big section that is.. The total fee for piercing is Rs. 500 only Out of the 500 you take 450 and giving me only 50 -What are you up to? -What? Don't want your kinship Partition the assets now Asset? What Asset? We have got 80 acres land in Pollachi Keep 40 acres for you and give me 40 acres, I will go 40 acres for four of us and for you alone 40 acres? Your dad has fathered 4 children in haste My dad has patiently fathered only me And that too a lion cub Don't abuse our dad How can you talk bad about our father? ... He is talking too much... For scooping handful of husk all of you have turned against me All this is because of my dad's brother I have prepared a wedge for you Leave me, I am going Let it go if it goes... That flour mill guy gazes at us Should pluck his eyes Why do you stare? Mani doesn't like red colour Can I go nude for that? I have heard dogs can see in black white only Is this dog an exception? Sister, come If you make noise I will break your head Stop Who are they? They are guests to our area Why do you chase them? I can understand That poor girl wore a red color dress You should not have chased a one legged girl One legged? Were you not running? Running? No, I am one legged? How can I run? Let me think about it Oh no, it seems you have come running Holding my sister I was leaping You might not have noticed the leg because of the skirt You are right, you may go She is one legged You are deceiving him as one legged.... The truth will come out one day He is going to make you one legged -Be careful -Let us see Can't find a place in Ukkadam to start the party office? Half of the city has already been acquired by us Stop Whose building is that? Belongs to Dr. Nallamuthu How is his background? Will anyone represent? A very frail man,very average background If it is a cinema theatre can be vacated easily But to vacate an operation theatre We have to throw out the patients Even outskirts will do for us... Have not they vacated yet? We have cut down water supply and electricity It seems they won't vacate unless we cut down their necks Anyway we have got 6 acres within the city - That rogue has just left - Whose property is this? If it is closed then it must be ours It is apt for party office Facing east and with direct sun light, we will reach heights After Tirupathi abode only this place has 3 perfect corners Oh my goodness How atrocious? Why are you breaking the lock? - lyer, is this your house? - This is Anantharaman's house Since he is in Delhi, he has asked me to take care Iyer's house seems more perfect than this Will vacate in 2 weeks after starting the office Make the foundation strong Make a call to the leader -Leader -Long live Leader! Opposite party Chathappan has come to join us with 30 MLAs Very glad -Leader -Long live Come Chathappa Hereafter you are my captain Long live Leader Sethupathy and brother Chathappan From today I'll be an ordinary worker and work for your party Don't say 'my' party 'your' party Hereafter it is 'our' party With dynamic persons like you.. ..Why Tamilnadu, I can grab power, even in Delhi Were you not abusing me on every stage? How much trust Eswara Pandian had on you? You have betrayed your leader How can I be certain that you won't join another party? This is the punishment for joining our party - If you defect from us, I'll kill you - I'll be your slave till the end The press is waiting outside Wash your face pose for photo, go - Your brother is calling - Brother - Tell Gajapathy - I have seen a place for party office in Ukkadam - I am so happy - You must inaugurate it - I will Ruling party men have encroached your house for their party office I am in a fix, don't now what to do? - I will talk in person while I come to Coimbatore - OK - Shall I do? - It is on the line - It is on the line, look there - No you are out See there - You jump and play - Get lost - Shall we play later? I will beat you - Look there - My goodness What are you looking through lens at the opposite house? Do you know how good she plays the limp game? Poor girl, she is one legged and can limp only -One legged? -Yeah - Whom are you referring? With two eyes I saw her playing with two legs! - I too saw - What happened to your family? Your brothers rage if I talk about your dad - You call a normal girl one legged - One leg only They have started Let us go and see Whatever we see doesn't belong to our eyes! Doesn't belong to our eyes! Since you have become a pupil of my eyes... You can't be separated from the eyes... And you can't be separated from me Oh God! Neelaveni, why did you stop? Dance until the pestle break Dance until the mortar rolls Dance until the house get crumbled Shut up your mouth -It's really one leg -I'll tell if it is one leg or two legs What for? ... Catch her Catch Don't leave Like that - Don't leave her till evening - The right verdict - Get lost You sinners Will you prosper Your father's niece Malathi.. Can we propose her for our Arul? I have already asked them Said they will accept a self employed goldsmith only You may attend the marriage tomorrow morning at doctor's house I am going out of station and you have come like Goddess Lakshmi - Where are they going? - They are going to Calicut to buy gold -All of them are going? -Because they carry a huge sum Come inside We had water scarcity at Tiruppur We had to wander with pots daily Is that so? - Welcome Doctor - Greetings With wedding scheduled for tomorrow you have come here now - Is sir there? - No he has gone outstation What is the matter? The wedding chain was there until the pooja time Thereafter it was missing It must have been taken by some relatives We don't want to create a scene by checking them We can go ahead with the marriage using the tamarind coated thread But missing of the chain would be considered a bad omen The chain was made by sir Before dawn we want a similar one I can understand your plight But all the members have gone out of station Arul has come, let us ask him to make it Greetings doctor, why at this hour? -Come here -What mom? Why all of you are worried? You must immediately make a wedding chain Mom you know everything... I can't Don't be adamant make the wedding chain -Mom, I can't, you know I won't do it - Don't shout, they are here - It's very urgent, Will you do it or not? - I can't Will you not obey your mom? -They have come out of trust in us -Leave my hands, I am going Wedding is scheduled for tomorrow, do it -I can't - Do it for your mother's sake - I can't and that is final - If you can't, don't meet me hereafter - Mom - Don't give me reasons - Why do you ask me....? - You don't do it, right? - OK - We will collect it in the early morning - OK - Thanks a lot Does he know to make a wedding chain? Wedding chain? He knows all jobs Capable of earning thousands a day Working at a mill for Rs. 4500 per month - Adamant - Why mom? He doesn't like dirty talks Are the chains for Palakkad Ganga jewellery ready? - Yes - Parcel it and give it to him -Be careful while going -Yes dad How will it be lost? If someone can steal 2 will he leave the remaining 8 -I don't know dad -Have you sold it frittered the money? Don't lie that you don't know about it -What can I say, if I don't know -You are capable of stealing lying To whom have you given the money? Please don't talk dirty What self esteem is there for a thief like you? I am a thief and my hands are not clean I don't want to do this goldsmith's job Hereafter I won't touch this gold I stole the chain Had some problems at her house Father will not give assistance so easily You sinner He was blamed unnecessarily - You inform dad first - No, wait mom If I am insulted that will be limited to me If he is insulted then his whole family will be humiliated Leave it like that Don't let anyone else know about it After that incident he has touched gold only today My son lives like a guest at his own house He gives his monthly salary to me Otherwise he comes home for food and sleeping only Stay on - Mom! - What? What was the length they wanted? 7 or 8? I did not ask them Mani, come here Sit down You got 10 fingers Why only one finger is sweet? The finger that touched you is sweet to me All other fingers are starving Oh bee of the bamboo forest The crab that jerks my brain Am I the feast to contain the starvation of your 1 0 fingers Oh Bandit darling The girl who commit light murders Will I leave if you keep away? I am obliged to hide my arrogant beauty It's your ability to pluck with out unveiling the screen It's cruel to hide the beauty You got 1 0 fingers Why only one finger is sweet? The finger that touched you is sweet to me All other fingers are starving Oh man who pinches my mind Do you know Cupid's lingo? With the eyes that could penetrate the dress Stroking upto the soul All that are to be done with fingers.. ..are done with your sight By age you are so young But you are broad-minded than your age You got 1 0 fingers Why only one finger is sweet? The finger that touched you is sweet to me All other fingers are starving My shyness is missing Was it you who stole it? So far I lived in solitude like mercury.. .. which won't allow anything to stick Like a silent shadow you fell into my mind Will go much deeper inside and will take the treasure from your heart - You got 1 0 fingers - I got 1 0 fingers -Only one finger is.. -.. Sweet but why? The finger that touched you is sweet to me All other fingers are starving Oh bee of the bamboo forest The crab that jerks my brain Am I the feast to contain the starvation of your 1 0 fingers Oh Bandit darling The girl who commit light murders Will I leave if you keep away? You are obliged to hide your arrogant beauty Plucking without unveiling the screen is my ability Hiding the beauty is cruelty Don't twist our hips Go straight What a nice scene in the early morning Eyes would remain intact if I could see it daily - I will give you one slap -I will give two on your cheeks - Will you, I am leaving - Hold it - Kanmani - Mom is calling me, I will go I was holding the cycle for you to learn -Who will teach me then? -Am I not here? -You? -Yes I am - Do you know how to ride a cycle? - Are you asking me? I will give you a list of things I can ride Bike, Car, Lorry, Bus, Train, Aeroplane, Helicopter... - Do you know to ride a cycle? - Why are you so doubtful? Trusting you, if I ride and suppose if you.. ..push me on someone and run away? I won't go to jail after pushing you over someone, listen to me - You ride and show me first - Move away, see now From that day to this day The sky has not changed Man has changed Has mounted on the cycle... Go singing like this Oh God! - Oh God! - Dirty pig Were you trying to cheat me? Festival at coniamman temple Give donation You don't look like people from temple To prove that should we have a bell in hand? - Give us the money - Why do you drop 50 Rs? Drop 500 Rs I can afford 50 rupees only Aren't you making ornaments by mixing copper in it? If you Pay 500 Rs we will pour porridge at temple Else we will pour milk for your last rites - Son! - Come out, we will smack you Then you'll spend 500 to 1 000Rs as making charges to the hospital Looks like he is the stingiest of all Come out you miser dog What is this, they use abusive language? -Brother -What? - They have abused dad -Who? -Singanallur men It is those people In the name of God, you beg... On top of it, do you behave rudely too? -Apologize now Forgive us sir Go, If seen in this area... Will you not mend yourself? When will you change your attitude? Please be quiet This dog has bitten those street dogs for they barked Why do you shout? Instead of letting the hooligans have their way He has dragged them here and fought with them Please keep quiet Mom, he must be crazy He fought them because they scolded him He drags in all the troubles that goes through the road Why do you do all these atrocities? I want to live honorably in this street See, even after all this, he is quiet and rock like Come on good sardine is available We are vegetarians, we don't eat fish and meat Don't mistake me I have seen children who don't respect parents Even when his dad admonished him like anything Your son kept quite Only your son can behave that way Your son is like a diamond It can be used as a cutting tool and also as a decoration Please ask him not to scold Arul in public It occurred to me... I keep telling, don't you have brain at all? Don't talk too much I will tear you apart I have got four brothers They won't leave you easily Did you brush your teeth this morning? Why? Why do you start so early? ... Are my four brothers there as pallbearers? Was I not pampered as the only girl child? He has smacked very badly What can I do now? You prepare wedding chain in gold for all Did you prepare my wedding chain in clay? I shuttle between Tiruppur and Kovai and don't know when it will snap? Won't someone pay and send the auto? See, your sister Mom, Even here she talks like this Who knows how badly she talked there? Alright, you take her there Your brother-in-law won't listen to others Arul kumara My voice would have reached the ears of.. Lord Muruga in Maruthamalai Hasn't it reached your ears yet? Shut up your mouth My husband has become mad Is he a human being? At the drop of a hat, he smacks me He fears no one other than you You must tell him Whoever it may be, tear into two Tear apart to two in one strike, that is our style Why do you buy meals from outside? Is your wife not at home? I don't want food if I have to forego my esteem Seems sister in law has come Where will she.....? Hold it Do you want to leave your sister at home? Here is the key It was not intentional You know about your sister She has got a mouth bigger than this factory I slightly patted over her mouth and that's all I will go home at 5'o'clock Look at his face I won't touch her again Come home I will teach you You were talking like a tiger Cooled down like a wet mouse when you saw your brother-in-law Then what to do - At the age of 1 2 he made a plot to revenge me - How was it? One day I scolded his sister Keeping that in mind He made his cousin run across and on the pretext of striking him hit me with a stone Still that scar remains If you use filthy words can never escape from him Very brilliant, he will rock Kovai one day Why is she here? Near the Biriyani shop? Here is the parcel Said she is a vegetarian and is now buying biriyani? Go away It is nothing What is she carrying in the bag? Could be vegetable Why does the dog sniff, if it is vegetable? It must be meat They are pure vegetarians I have bought the milk cakes Come upstairs with the water bottle OK Sister Did you hear? It is milk cake Idiot, is milk cake available at the biriyani shop? I got the leg One leg for you and one for me Don't shout In case mom watches us we may have to enact a weeping Eat silently See they are smashing chicken thighs I told you, did you believe me? It's our house, how could you come upstairs? I will shout Let your mom come over here Let her know about the chicken biriyani secrets Will you eat only the leg piece? Is this biriyani called milk cake? When you can make idli,a rice meal and make the beer as butter milk Shouldn't they make biriyani as milk cake? I am asking you From when did you start this? When studying at 12th standard My friends fooled me by giving chicken as yam I liked the taste and continuing since then Got a story for every mischief Two packets a day If a packet costs 40 Rs 2400 Rs per month If a person who draws 4500 Rs salary.. ..marries you how could he afford it? This should be a matter of concern for her fiance Why does he bother about it? I am not eating it daily Once in a week, 4 times a month It costs only 320 Rs Is spending 320 Rs a month for wife an extravagance? Give the salary to me I will show how to run the family Besides I don't eat on Saturdays and am fasting Fasting on Saturdays and on Sundays you eat like a glutton... will it not affect your health? As if you are married and begot children You two talk about income and expenditures? What is this talk while eating? Get out Peoples' party's State executive meeting welcomes all participants -Long live -leader Leader, I am 55 years old Can I change my career now? Helped the party grow by pasting posters and hosting flags But has the party helped me to grow? Talk about the party problems only This too is a party problem You are the party leader and you stay at Chennai Besides your brother is the MLA of Kovai He is the district secretary too Call from the leader Brother If you grab all the portfolios then where do we go? That's why we have given various honorifics like Lightning warrior, Thunderbolt, downpour Keep those honorifics with you and give us positions Throw your brother from district secretary's post Else people will talk about our party as one run by money lenders and sundry arbitrators... The party will vanish from your own constituency too When will that fellow come? Usually he comes by car He must get down at least thrice to urinate We must finish him on his way to Kovai from Erode Stop Stop Come, my leg piece Mani, come here Come Mani Do you want leg piece? That too from Anganna's shop You tell lies too If you are angry, it is the temple bell (kovil mani) You are going to draw the design on floor (kola mani) Hello agnate You are ringing the bell with bell (mani) Yes Single bell for the neck of buffalo (otha mani) Twin bells for the neck of mother-in-law(rettai mani) For the concubine give pearl (muthu mani)... If you fall flat it is the apple of throat (chanku mani) For kids it is anklet (kolusu mani) If bell rings in jail it is food time - Great actor Sivaji ganesan acted in - Alayamani I will take leave of you Thankamani little cuckoo, you walk like a peacock Where is my pair? Why do you sing as cuckoo...ooo, my darling -Dear -What? Will you sing all songs? -Which song you want? - In film Guna, Kamalahasan -sings a song from a cave -Yes -Sing that song -See now Darling, your lover writes this letter with love Darling are you OK, here I am OK Stop it Poetry flows as I peep you As I try to write it, words struggle As I look at you, poetry downpours What you are yelling Mani? Will you sing songs with the words Mani? Will you sing? What is the matter? Kanmani is in marriageable age We have to accumulate jewels for her marriage Yes Her dad has sent 30,000 Rs from Rangoon Please make a coin necklace in 8 sovereign gold Sure, we can make it perfectly First time you are making jewels why do you do in 8 sovereigns? Better do it in 1 1 sovereigns of gold Add 3 sovereigns extra and make it when you have said, it is done - Look there - What is this? Why do you stay looking at? Keep quiet Beat Lift him Why do we invite trouble? In broad day light they have beaten and dragged him away Do you want me to keep quiet? -So, will you dare an MLA? -ls MLA a special creature? He is the MLA in this constituency for the last 1 2 years Has he done anything good? Atleast one voter should question him If all of you hide in front of him he will behave only like this He brutally assaults all those who question him To vacate us he has instigated Hindu -Muslim communal riots But no one did fall a prey to his designs This annoyed him and he has stopped water and electricity supplies The entire lot is against the MLA and are waiting for a chance to exhibit their anger They will subdue only if opposed If you want water, take it from the adjacent house If you want electricity take it from the opposite house Inspector Ramanathan is coming -Greetings -To hell with your greetings Leader is expected in 2 days time to inagurate party office Security measures must be foolproof Pollachi Road, Vincent Road and Town hall Road All these roads must be blocked Pollachi Road and Vincent Road are OK It's hard to block the Town hall road It's very crowded and can not be blocked Won't you obey me? I am sorry sir, public may create problems over this... Get out if you don't obey me Get out Ask him to get out from here Don't stay before me, get out What do you think of me? I am an MLA Wait,I have been waiting for you Kanmani has correspondence exam today Bharathiar university is on your enroute Please drop her there Come on She doesn't know the bus routes properly might even get lost Don't fall on the way, I can't answer your mom then Don't forget to pick me up while you return home Can I keep my hand on your shoulder? I have an esteem in this area Don't damage it No grips to hold, then how can I sit? There are no speed breakers on the way Also I am not going to drive fast -Sit 2 inches away -OK Are you in love with someone? If you do silly talking I will demand fare more than the meter reading I am loving a guy Hey bell, if someone gets you biriyani, you will go with him -Are you in love? -Start, it's getting late These days it's hard to distinguish good and bad Can't find who drinks alcohol and uses drugs Can't find who is a terrorist Don't get trapped, tell me who he is? I will find out whether he is good or bad -He is from which area? -Ukkadam -Where in Ukkadam? -Sannathi street -That's our street! Is it that corner house Pandi or neighbor Kannan? Or is it that fat ugly fellow with french beard? -No, it's the opposite house -Opposite house? -That's our house! Oh that must be Thankam Has he trapped you by showing silver anklet? It's neither gold nor brass Who will love that black man? Then, I am there in the opposite house -ls that me? -Yes I love you I won't come behind if buy me a biriyani Make me an ornamental belt I will come after you You have fallen in love! You have fallen in love! I will make an ornamental belt for you, will you come? Will you give me some place to stick on? I will make an ornamental belt for you, will you come? Will you give me some place to stick on? Why do I need an ornamental belt? Don't you have two hands to put around my waist? Darling with beautiful nose and eyes The best bet for kisses Shall I measure your chest and give a pearl necklace? One in great heights, and beau with lucky moles... While you measure the chest, touch a little Oh silver pot, golden chain turn to this 'chiyaan' side If given a chance, will come strike This is Coimbatore mischief I will make an ornamental belt for you, will you come? Will you give me some place to stick on? Why do I need an ornamental belt? Don't you have two hands to put around my waist? Melting pure gold, placing a star stone I will get you an ornament for your forehead Will you be after me? Ornament for forehead is not necessary Blue stone too is not necessary Will you sport the 'kumkum' dot on my forehead? Shall I bore your sharp nose for pearl nose screws, will you come? Your pearl nose screw won't work out Will you come to rub nose to nose? I will give you the golden ear stud Will you come with your bod? Whisper the auspicious date in the ear that wears the stud I will make an ornamental belt for you, will you come? Will you give me some place to stick on? Why do I need an ornamental belt? Don't you have two hands to put around my waist? I will make silver toe rings and golden anklets.... will you come with me? To come along with you, no need for anklets Will you touch my toe with your toe like a crab? Hey lady, I will give bangles for your hands, will you come? Don't want bangles, will come now will you give your right hand? I will give you a golden chain, will you give a little bit? If you will give the sacred thread I will peel of myself for you I will make an ornamental belt for you, will you come? Don 't you have two hands to put around my waist? Darling with beautiful nose and eyes The best bet for kisses Shall I measure your chest and give a pearl necklace? One in great heights, and beau with lucky moles... While you measure the chest, touch a little Oh silver pot, golden chain turn to this 'chiyaan' side If given a chance, will come and strike Let us not do that mischief here I don't like love and such affairs I have not moved with you with such intentions I considered you as a friend Don't talk to me hereafter Wait a minute I can understand, if you don't like me But why do you ask me not to talk with you? Have I behaved so badly with you? No, if you had that in mind once it may not be alright Why not? You considered me as a friend You remain as a friend I will continue to love you If you feel like loving me, you can change yourself In case if I feel like become a friend I will change myself But, I will never change They drive as if this street is a high way Ruling party men will do only like that Their car procession will become a funeral procession Hi Arul, come Arul Why they have pasted the poster here? They are opening the party office from morning it is a nuisance It was whitewashed for next week's marriage See how dirty it looks Keep quiet or it may cause trouble Why do you do that? Let the cattle eat it Lighting arrangements are over From where do we take power connection? I will connect it from Iyer's house Hello, who are you? You enter he house just like that Where is the main board? Why do you ask? For power should I insert it in your...........? (CENSORED) Why do you talk like that? You have assaulted my men Wait, I will show you -They have beaten me -Who? When I went to connect power They have beaten me We did not do anything wrong They have come and beaten us Those are the guys Connect the other end of the wire to the bunk shop Our government gives you the power supply Will it affect if we take little power? Are you giving electric shock? Who is Arul? That's me -Get into the vehicle -What for? Sitting on the wall, do you eve tease? Don't talk unnecessarily We have received a complaint Who gave? Should I explain it all on the road? Come, get in Get down Why do you bring me here? For us police, court, advocate, judge are all our MLA You may take me to the police station for inquiry With whom do you talk about rules? You debris eating dog -Look at me and repeat it -You debris eating dog Look at my eyes and say that -You debris eating dog Brother please don't Be a police don't be a vandal Leader is coming for opening the party office This guy belongs to that area Let us handle him once the leader's visit is over I will kill you Go Come,let us go Why did you bring here without taking him to station? Sir, the MLA... Is the MLA giving you salary? This uniform has a dignity -Long live -Leader -Long live -Leader What is this bandage? Had a fall Shouldn't you be careful? -That is Singanallur Rajavelu -How are you Rajavelu? I am fine He remembers my name too! I am not asking you not to meet friends Why do you sit on the wall and invite trouble? Please don't get perturbed unnecessarily, bye I want to talk with you What? Please don't sit on the compound wall again Will you not listen to your friend? When you were caught by police I couldn't sleep throughout night I felt like crying I cried, don't know, why? I was more concerned about your safety I said I will try to become a friend But I could not.. seems it may not be possible - Will you change instead? - Go home -When you grow up what will you study? -I'll study for prime minister Gajapathy, you are trying to bring under control Coimbatore But your daughter is trying for India Uncle, if sister was alive now This house would have been blessed with two more kids No,These children are there to take care of the last stages For me, my brother is everything... Bye We have negotiated the price for Ganapathy theatre The intelligence you show in buying property.. -..must be there in keeping the accounts too - OK - Leader - Long live - Tell me where is he? - Anthony street... Dear, Wait for a moment Give it You may go now Start the vehicle Coming 28th is an auspicious day The ceremony at our temple too is on that day - We have informed all our relatives - What is the function? Our family deity is in Chethumadai There is an annual festival It will be very special for 2 days All of you must come without fail - Come - Brother, going to buy clothes for marriage, you also come We are buying dress for you too You come and select it yourself You go, we will come by bike Find out where he is Where is he? Sir, why are you doing like this? What do you want? Why do they break everything? How dare he touches our men? - Are you so gutsy? - He is not here How many children have you begotten? Don't hit him He doesn't know anything Prepare the bier with green plantain tree I will send your son's corpse Come -Where are those boys? - Gone to Maharaja textiles to buy dresses Is it a marriage at your friend's home? -How is your dad? -He is fine That one is better than the blue Greetings Sir Please be seated A minor problem, have come to clear that Why the MLA is sitting in the opposite shop? The MLA is sitting in your shop What is the matter? - Has a boy named Arul, come there? - Yes, son of Balan goldsmith They are waiting to beat him up when he comes out - Please go upstairs - No, we have made our purchase No, all of you go upstairs wait for 1 0 minutes, listen, go Take them upstairs and provide them seats - Hello, is it Balan goldsmith? - Yes MLA has come to assault your son If you come now, we can pacify him Even if they beat him to death Please don't inform me -Brother, you start immediately - You asked us to go upstairs Now you want us to leave immediately What is the problem? MLA is waiting outside to beat you I called and asked your dad to come Dad... What did he say? Tell me He said no need to inform him, even if you die Senthil, What happened? The MLA and his men came and damaged the workshop They have beaten our dad too Did they beat dad? -Arul don't go -Leave me -Listen Whatever happens, none of you should come out, go - Let us not - Go in, do what I say -I will.. -Brother, you just sit here How dare you touch the MLA? Have you beaten my dad? How dare you touch my dad? How unfairly they have beaten you up? B-1 Police Station Ukkadam MLA Gajapathy came to beat me I have hit him back So I surrender The MLA is already dead - Who hit him? - Someone called Arul Kumaran INTERMlSSlON MLA's party men and the press are anxiously waiting.. ..to know his condition What can we tell them? - I will tell them - Sir what happened? Your husband is alright All of you need not worry I will give you all details after one hour Doctor, why did you lie to them? He is very bad The guy who has hit him, Arul is good If the cause of death is revealed Arul's life will be spoilt by litigations So, we must create an atmosphere for two days that he is alive All of you must co-operate for that -As a professional...? -lt is not a betrayal It is wrong to say someone alive as dead Nothing wrong in saying the dead as alive to save a good man Connect the ventilator immediately It may look as if he is breathing Start iv fluid drips Connect the ECG of some other patient to the monitor Find out his blood group and hang a bottle -What is the case? -Sir, he has beaten the MLA - Why did you beat? - He hit me, I hit him back So you have hit him for self defense, is that so? -Under what section he is booked? -Under 307, attempt to murder The beaten MLA is still alive He has beaten for self defense File it as grievous hurt under section 324 Leader, MLA beaten up on the road badly Uncle.. No one should touch him in this condition Don't cry Nothing will happen to my brother Did you see your brother, how is he? No problem for my brother He is fine Your MLA will be back soon Don't worry -Where is he? -He is in the police station Leader, he is the one How dare you touch my brother? I will kill you here itself - Open the door - No sir, keep quiet - It will be a problem if I let him out - Won't you listen to me Please be patient The Press and TV personnel are there outside They will exaggerate and defame us Please be patient You have tilted my brother who stood like a mountain You are staying alive only because he is alive now If anything happens to him I will burn you inside the prison... You went inside to meet him What did he say? You met the one who hit your brother What happened? Nothing That boy expressed his regret Don't blow this out of proportion, leave it Isn't he your son? Won't you try to release him? You can meet him at least to console Mom, why all of you are silent? No one from this house will go to see him Because they are all good Only he is bad He is bad I can't undertake this case Please leave me - If you decide to help him..... - First you go away from here - Sister, this is Senthil speaking - What is the matter? Brother is caught in a police case That is why brother in law.. Oh God! He has gone to attend a meeting in Villupuram He will be back in the morning I will bring him as soon as he comes - Senthil, What happened? - He is not in station All advocates refuse to come They are afraid They will take you to jail tomorrow morning In a fix, called Thiruppathy uncle, he is not in station Why did you inform him? We didn't inform -Kanmani Senthil informed them -Fortunately nothing happened to MLA -Else it could have been a big problem -MLA died -What are you saying? When I dragged his body itself, his pulse stopped God is helping me in some form Nothing will happen to me You may go Tirupathi, don't worry - I will arrange for bail through our company's advocate - OK Balakrishnan, I am Ramasamy speaking Must go to Coimbatore immediately, come soon Doctor, what are you going to write in the report? In their caste do they bury or cremate? They will cremate Mourning for Gajapathy Come let's go - Greetings - Come Tirupathi I saw the fir filed under section 324, grevious hurt With 50000 Rs 2 ration cards we can easily bail him out by evening -Arrange for money first -Thankam, I have only 1 0000 Rs Go home and get 40000 Rs 40000 Rs? Whose money it is? Am I working as a gold smith in Coimbatore.. ..or printing counterfeit currencies? Let him stay behind bars for 1 year Let us see if he reforms Are you all dumb? Can't you tell him to give money? He is also your brother What harm has he done to you? Please take it Why do you..? It is alright, please take it Have it On condition the accused Arul Kumaran must report to the.. ..concerned police station signregisters,Ireleasehimonbail - Uncle - Yeah Our advocate has fired the plaintiff's advocate like anything - Dr.Viswanathan only helped us.. - Get an auto Why an auto? Our vehicle is there Your job is over I will take care of the rest, you go Why do you send home now? Are you concerned about my family? Please listen to me I know you can counter 1 0 opponents simultaneously But whom have you beaten this time? -Brother of the one who holds the reign of this state -You are right The proverb 'with uncle's help you can climb hill' is right, come on Come dear How did you stay for 4 days inside the police station? I am not worried about 4 days confinement No one came to see me at least for one day That makes me sad what wrong I have done? If I haven't hit him, he would have killed me - Then would you all been happy? - Don't talk like that son Dad did not give money to bail me out Mom, I have given my salary 4500 every month to you You could have given from that Did I eat for the entire amount? You will never overrule your hubby There is no place in this house for those who have gone to the jail Ask him to go out Is this a family? You have some defect in your tongue But for your dad the entire body is defective If one does not help his son in distress, is he a dad? - Tell that to him - Those who have driven their wife.. ..out of home is talking about morals There is nothing wrong in a hubby beating his wife But the hubby should guard her when a third person tries to beat her Neither your dad nor these stoopers will understand Don't look down and blow all the time At times look up also, you will know whether the crow is excreting or the vulture drops the snake None of you have concern even to the extent of girl in opposite house Whenever I quarrel with him I used to tell him, I have 4 brothers.. ..and they will let you go scot free If I trust you all, I will be on the streets For my kids, there is only one maternal uncle and that is Arul only -Ask your hubby to leave for Tiruppur -Of course we are leaving Don't think we are going to stay here and dine Go and bring the kids come brother-in-law Wait He has come from jail He should not land in problems again All his bad days should be over he should have a holy shower Without doing this, all of you are firing him, you sit down My son will stay here only He will not go anywhere Come, we are waiting for you only For an ordinary ear boring ceremony You have sent a car for me You are great subbiah For whom I should do? -lt is for my mother -For your mother? -What is her age? -70 -70? She wanted to do at a very young age, but couldn't do it - Now we want to do it -You want to fulfill your mom's desire.. ..even when she is 70 years old You are not an ordinary son Great son of a mother Son who doesn't disobey mother Son who has saved the mother - Just a minute, let me also dance my part -Be quick Come before the auspicious time is over Yes, yes, come quick -What is this? -She is my mother For whom did you ask to do nose boring? - For my mother only - Did you bring me to do for a corpse? - Are you calling my mother a corpse? - What else can I say? Are you calling it a corpse? Come do it Leader -Arul has come out on bail -Even before my brother's rites are over.. How did he come out on bail? Court has said he has not died due to the hits -What are you saying? -ln the doctor certificate... What is written in doctor certificate? Because he used to drink heavily, liver failure has caused the death Oh God! He doesn't drink because of that he didn't auction any wine shop Some mistake has happened Hey, who is the doctor who made that report? Bring him Where is your chief doctor? But for you,I would have been tormented by litigation - My life would have been spoiled - Someone will help good people I might be one among them, that is all Come Ruling party men came searching for you here Now they might be on their way to your home - Be alert doctor - OK Immediately lodge a complaint with police that Sethupathy's men.. ..have damaged your property and has made an attempt on your life I will deal with the rest Come Bring stones and sticks Break everything Arul what is all this? Oh God, dear What is all this? It is all broken Commissioner, what does that inspector think about himself? Knowing pretty well, they are my men He has arrested them Ask him to release them immediately fir is filed, public has also seen He is not an ordinary man and is equivalent to a sub collector in rank He is the Government hospital dean This government is mine, don't you know? I will produce him in court tomorrow and bail him out Please don't interfere in that doctor's matter, it'll become a big issue Send any number of persons Tomorrow morning I should get the news that Arul is dead Should we go for their family deity function? He didn't agree to your proposal He has come from jail now You only think about him always, leave him - I will leave, this world - Sister That world (Heaven) is not for those without GRACE For those with no money, this world.... I will not come to the temple My esteem has been damaged here In my native place, in front of relatives, should I get disgraced? The court has acquitted him then why does he shout like this? I will not come to a place where he is present I don't know what sin we committed My son is suffering like this By not worshipping the family deity Should we invite God's wrath again? Don't know what will happen First quit this place reach there safely - You have begot a fantastic uncle - Was it me? Uncle, he is not coming, Let us go, come Get in, load it carefully Careful, child Wait, let everyone get in They stand like the yarn loaded on a loom Shall we weave them? Go tell your leader 1 000 men are coming with wedges for him We will come and screw those wedges Get back with your life intact - Sethupathy - Down down Are you surprised to hear shouts against you in your own den? God will not tolerate atrocities for long Yesterday you have sent 1 0 persons 30 policemen came Today you have sent 1 00 persons 1 000 people have come Tomorrow you send 1 000 persons In the same constituency.. ..I can make 1 lakh people assemble here Do you want to see that? You can do that only in this place I have 1 000 people in each place They are hired hands All these people have sacrificed one day's wages Look here I have no enemity with your brother He came to hit me I have hit him back That is all over Leave at this Politics, property, happiness, government, power It is all nothing before my brother for me You have killed him I will not leave you The agony I suffered must be felt by you daily I want to see you lit the funeral pyre for each member of your family Have you heard this? Heard the echo for one shout of Arul? If he does it again, all of us will enter your house and tear apart We have not come for fighting Only for peace So control yourself and go in Go in He said something about the family He might say, don't take it seriously No you get back immediately Play a good tune fit for dancing come on play it His family and entire kinship has assembled at the temple festival Send Muthumari and finish him off Come, are you coming only now? Are you fine? Heard you got into some problem And you have hit some one Enough,even if you talk more he will hit you Come, let us go and worship God How are you? who are you? Muthu's brother in law Muthu's brother in law? Nothing will happen But we must be alert You said, you won't come to the temple -But you have come - What If I come? No, you said, you will not come what if I said? No uncle What do you mean by no,uncle? -Uncle -what uncle? -Why, this to me? -What do you mean by why this to me? -No uncle -what, no uncle? -Gosh -What gosh? -Aha -what Aha? I will smack you -Worship God -What do you mean by worship God? Smart guy, has become alert Was this girl not named so long? They name her only now This is a tradition followed by us For newly married,before the family deity She will be named again, same name only After marriage, you will also be named like this Why did he come here? Has he come to defame me? Ask him to go out He said, he will not come But he has come, but how can we send him out? Will he not keep quiet? If you put stone mortar in his mouth he will keep quiet But he will not keep quiet, when he sees Arul Is it soup? How about the cooking? May I know who you are? I am Muthu's brother in law I will take care, ok What he is doing beneath the palmyra tree Tell this black chap what are you doing? We are selling palmyra sap would you like to have? Does it include lime It does not Then it is toddy, give him a mug, let him drink We have to get back to temple, don't drink If drinking is defilement Bathing is the cure for it Not only that your dad scolded you in front of all -You might bear it But we can't bear it -Then die Pour some more Even if he calls me an oilcake I don't mind Is there a dad who doesn't admonish the children? Even if he calls me a clod I don't mind After all my dad called me so, so what? Even if dad's club criticizes, never mind You can react like U.N. Kinship is always testing Your dad would have been kicked by his dad If it is said to me, looking at my eyes If it is not my dad I will thrash him Even if he calls me an oilcake I don't mind Is there a dad who doesn't admonish the children? Even if he calls me a clod I don't mind After all my dad called me so, so what? July-August wind will make even the grinding stone fly If your dad becomes nutty his eyes will feel darkness The cow will kick the calf Even if it pains the calf cries only as 'Ma' If you are ill treated it pains me Even 5 bottles have not given me any stupor If the rails are not in place, the train will derail If dad is not respected entire life will become slippery If it is said to me, looking at my eyes If it is not my dad I will thrash him Even if he calls me an oilcake I don 't mind Is there a dad who doesn 't admonish the children? Even if he calls me a clod I don't mind After all my dad called me so, so what? The best toddy is the toddy from a single tree Fathers are always like that Leave it buddy The best bow is that of Arjun The best word is that of dad The biggest tyre is that of the lorry The biggest snob is that of your dad What is between me and dad is our private affair Whoever talk ill of this will find their teeth flying If it is said to me, looking at my eyes If it is not my dad I will thrash him Even if he calls me a clod I don't mind After all my dad called me so, so what? Even if dad's club criticizes, never mind You can react like U.N. Kinship is always testing Your dad would have been kicked by his dad If it is said to me, looking at my eyes If it is not my dad I will thrash him What were you doing? I was just checking the salt level The 'pooja' is not yet over why do you taste it before that? Some guy said he is a relative He has tasted the sambar What were you doing then? What can I do? He said he is Muthu's brother in law I thought he is your relative We thought he is your cook What has happened? A guy with towel was around here He has tasted the food and polluted it He claims, he is Muth's brother in law Muthu has no brother in law Call uncle Might have done some mischief Must catch him and inquire to know details Search every where You all go this side, search We are going towards bus stand Did anyone with a towel come here? Looks like a cook He just boarded the bus -Should have caught him -Why should I catch him? Look at his explanation Don't waste time by talking Quickly intercept the bus Go fast Wait, It is said, should not move when hit by a crow Get me a mug of water Seems the crow is in agony Must have consumed something Seems it has consumed rice Can't hear the drum beats then 'pooja' is over Would have offered first food to the crow -Perhaps.... -You are right -Oh god... -He has brought water Don't eat the food Some one has poisoned the food Some party fellow might have done it Don't eat Why do you torment me like this? To kill you, they would have killed 500 people? Who asked you to come here? I don't know what sin I have committed? All sins have come in your form My honour and prestige has gone All because of him What are you talking? Any other dad would have been proud If his son saves 500 lives But you are admonishing him put the entire blame on him He has beaten the MLA, because he has hit you I have seen dad's who feel for.. ..their ward even if he is a thief But I am seeing a dad here who hates his son who is like by all Stop you young girl His siblings are quiet You talk loudly as if you have shared his bed Dad Don't cry Kanmani, don't cry Not sharing bed But going to share life with me To kill our family, he has targeted the whole village Will he keep quiet? Before he strikes us We must strike him Then only he will have a fear over us Don't worry I can bring the entire Tiruppur to coimbatore Break the boards first Break everything If you hide, will we leave you? Arul has entered the party office and is assaulting all What are you doing there? In the name of party have you not swindled public money? No one should be inside Drive them all out Thanks Arul You have got back my house for me This is the house document. Give back when I return from Delhi People's party office has been encroached by you I have received complaints to this effect We know, who has send you And why you have come See this, the agreement we have signed with the house owner Stop it He is asking us to vacate the shop And is atrociously attacking us If you extract money in the name of exorbitant interest I will kick you, your leader and party men in the streets Go away In today's circumstances, running the mill is very difficult Sethupathy's men demanded party funds, election funds And has troubled us a lot Because we didn't give money They have instigated Workmen to go on strike against the management They forced us to pay unwanted taxes Today Arul is opposing sethupathy We must rally behind him Must provide him money and support Look, the party office colour has changed Take her inside What is all this? Though the marriage was not done formally We should honour the traditional routines Sit down Though my daughter has gone for an independent house Her in law's place is this only When my son married your daughter on that day I was worried that you would block it on the grounds, that he has been imprisoned If I were to do that I should do that for my hubby also Kanmani's dad is in Rangoon jail Two years ago, in a business scuffle He attacked him and was jailed Now my brother is looking after that business Next year he will be released from jail Till date, even my daughters don't know about this Who has not done wrongs? Circumstances make them do so Auntie come, Are you fine? - I am fine We have a tradition to name the new daughter in law at our family temple What is it? Before God, you would be named again when can we go? That is for those who marry at a different place I have married her at our temple That can be done later -Not that - Dear.. listen to me Aunty wants us to do some naming at temple Why do you refuse? Don't you know what it is? I don't know I will smack you you were asking about it to sister in law How do you know that? I eavesdropped Naughty guy You have married me twice Do you know? -How? -One is an yellow thread And the other one a white thread Do you still keep it with you? So far nothing good has happened in our constituency After his death, now it is a good time for us People need not get loans for exorbitant interest and forego their property against the loan,hereafter We should follow whatever Arul says If Arul is contesting against Sethupathy It is good for Jeeva nagar people If Arul has a problem All of us should join together You should have weeded him out when he was a plant Now he has grown like a tree and is opposing you Ukkadam and Jeeva nagar people support him Show him what will happen If he opposes one in office Stop electricity, water, ration everything Let them not have water for bathing drinking and even in toilets Let it stink He thinks, this will solve the problem What is this? whether is night or daytime, there is no power EB people say, if you oppose ruling party men You will have to bear the consequences Water has stopped, what to do? Grandma, is there no water here also? No water at all Sit down What is the matter? There is no water and electricity in our area And we are suffering a lot This is all because of Sethupathy You only have the courage and boldness to oppose them You can bring light to us Yes I will take care Give water Are you not ashamed to say nothing can be done At the opportune time set fire to the Jeeva nagar huts If you do like this no one will vote for us We can cast those votes All of you come quick They have set fire to huts Save my child My house is on fire save my child Fortunately she came out and saw him Otherwise entire huts would have been burnt That people's party men has set ablaze He has killed my child Party leader Sethupathy is coming to console Stop there, if you step forward I will cut off your legs You have killed the child Have you come now to console? After setting fire, have you come to console? Just because they support me, you have burnt their house If all of them unite, do you know what will happen? Did I set fire? what basis you say this? There is an eyewitness, to the incident They have seen your man setting fire You have named your party as People's Party What have you done for the people? Because you are in power and in office you are behaving like this You have killed my child You will be doomed Have you seen this child? Take it from me If your party men contest here I will kill him, whoever he may be I swear on this dead child, go away I could have shot him the other day when he has hit me But my dependent invalid, 30 year old sister and.. Another sister who refuses to get married When elder sister is yet to be married have tied down me I am tolerating their atrocities If they are alive, no one can live peacefully You are doing what I could not do I am very happy about it Whatever help you need I will do What is it you are thinking so seriously? Nothing, 5000Rs is missing -5000 missing, when? -Yesterday night You claim you are a union leader for 5000 people Can't you keep 5000Rs safely? Don't you have common sense? Have you found out who has taken it? I have found out Then kick him and get the money He is a relative, so I am hesitant Don't look for all this, when he is doing this Thrash him so you want me to hit him When you have said it, why should I hesitate? I have taken it why didn't you say this earlier? I was trying get away, but couldn't do it What have you done with that money? I have purchased silver for Rs 5000 I landed in a small problem What is that? How did you get this? My brother in law has send it from Singapore I will give 50,000 Rs worth silver for Rs 5000 I don't want this will get trapped in police case, go Are you worried about that? Yes I will give in writing that I have sold it You give in writing that you have purchased it That is right, you give in writing Have this Do you keep it ready? All shop keepers ask for it Do they ask for it? All shopkeepers are brilliant people Sign it Get Rs 5000 Hold it Bring it Ah! this is a brick - Useless fellow - Why this? - For being a fool If you have spent Rs 5000 usefully I can understand But you have purchased a brick for Rs 5000 Are you trying to assault me? stay there stay there, you fool He is dead I used to walk through streets with fear Never knew when a decayed egg or acid filled egg will be thrown at Now I come very peacefully All this is because of your son Like 'soorasamharam' by Lord Muruga He has thrashed the MLA You should be very proud as Arul's father -Aunty -How are you? What do I lack? Your son looks after me very well How are you uncle? You are just 4 streets away Can't you come to our house once? Seems uncle is still angry with us I will come later Ok Today I saw uncle The one in Rangoon? , has he come? I saw your parents at the temple Say Father in law Yes I should thank him really Had he not admonished you will you have dragged me married me and brought me here? Even now you have married me, because he scolded you Have you ever said to me 'l love you '? If I don't love you, will I get biriyani for you? Biriyani? I don't eat biriyani Then have you forgotten those leg pieces? That was before marriage, now I have changed -Eat for my sake - I can't I am telling you, come on eat God does not like atrocities Arul does not like dirty talks Kanmani doesn't like if you boss over What will you do? Look at me and say that What will you do? Look at my eyes and say that? What will you do? Sudaamani, you are blowing hot Don't rage, you have become red Sudaamani, you are blowing hot Don't rage, you have become red You are threatening me like a rogue Injuring my cheeks with your moushtache I will get you chicken Biriyani, come Don't eat like a glutton and sleep Don't yearn for it after dawn, you will have it Give your concurrence with fondness On a white horse I will come majestically Coimbatore girl, I will run away with you Even if you beg, I will not let you go Why do you behave arrogantly? Why do you unnecessarily wag? I will not lose the hide and seek game Even if you beg I will not give myself If I kiss you like ants Sweet sugarcane what will you do? You are showing all your skills and trying to gauge me Shall I come near shall I come near you? - Shall I contain you? - Gosh! Sudaamani, you are blowing hot Don't rage, you have become red You are threatening me like a rogue Injuring my cheeks with your moustache You are a hot betel leaf Oh my dear! Oh my dear! Has your desire not subsided? Has your moustache not drooped? Male hands are always naughty If a girl is near males will try to fondle her You are stirring my age You are churning my mind Women always talk more when they see males, talk innuendo's If housewife become adamant what will you do? Even if you do mistake will fondle you and enjoy If you are not alert, will bite your ear You are a ruffian and are trying to steal If I request you go overboard when I become tough you request Sudaamani, you are blowing hot Don't rage.. Sudaamani, you are blowing hot Don't rage, you have become red You are threatening me like a rogue Injuring my cheeks with your moustache I will get you chicken Biriyani, come Don't eat like a glutton and sleep Don't yearn for it after dawn, you will have it Give your concurrence with fondness By-election in Kovai west constituency Official announcement by Election Commission We have assembled here to decide the candidate For the ensuing by-election Why did you laugh? I thought about the scapegoat and laughed Can Arul compete with ruling party candidate? He has killed the party leader's brother in the streets and is still going strong what you couldn't do then will you do now? If all of you keep quiet what does it mean? This is my family's constituency Block secretary, you have fractured your hands for party's sake It is your cherished wish to become an MLA You can contest Do you mean me? More than me KM can get more community votes here If he contests, would defenitley win I don't have any such desires I will remain as a party worker Even the last party worker must participate in governance That is my desire KM you are the candidate This is an order by your party chief I propose his candidature I second his candidature Which party people? When election is announced, they will become busy, Look how fast they walk Stop, why do you go in a procession inside the office? - Who are you all? - We belong to opposition party -Which means? -We will sit opposite block proceedings - Where are you going now? - To get support -After getting support? -Will become MLA We could not get that support that is why we are waiting here For your face, who will give support all of you go out -Why should we go out? -Those who have rushed in will rush out Shouldn't you give him way? Go away Like assembly, why do you strip your dhoti? In politics, it will happen everywhere So what? Will your big moustache frighten me? Don't think I will be scared Stingy fellows Once they come out, take them away, else I'll kill you If you can extend your support to us in the ensuing election We will meet your expectations and do good to the people I am not a politician and I don't know politics But I know one thing for sure For 1 2 years Sethupathy's brother As MLA has spoiled this constituency We will surely do good Believe us If they contest the election I will kill them Your party men can contest But after winning the election.. If you do wrongs, I will kill him also I am not opposing politics I am opposing bad politicians only If people have trust on you, you will definitely win, bye -What is the matter? -Greetings, commissioner wants to meet you Inform I am coming -Sit down -No thanks Did you threaten people's party Krishnamurthy? I am an ordinary person Why should I threaten him? - I have not even seen him - So you have surely not threatened him - No sir - OK you may go Sir, so far I talked officially I want to talk with you unofficially Will you switch off the tape recorder? Are you wondering, how I know that you are recording? I know the strengths of officials and the weaknesses of politicians Sir, tell me honestly were you not unhappy over the atrocities.. Have you not felt, they should be put behind bars even once? Even if you want, you can't do it Because you are a government official I am just fulfilling your helpless emotions It might be wrong in the eyes of your department But deep in your heart, you will feel what I do is right I don't want your support but be a silent spectator, that will do Take it from me From Sethupathy's party who ever contests, I will kill Bye Ask that Krishnamurthy to come come Arul says he has never threatened you file your nomination boldly Rest we will take care which one, my death? Will commissioner be with you for 24 hrs? Do you sleep hugging him? Even then, if the ceiling fan falls on your head, what will you do? -lt will surely fall -He is again threatening me You are alright, you have no cardiac problems I also know that But if I go out, I will be killed I will lie here for 10 days Say I have a cardiac attack This was a ruse done by me Is he showing me the same trick? No point in trusting you guys, who fear death - Call up Palayamkottai Kasilingam - Yes leader I will make him the candidate who can oppose him? Line is busy, seems his phone is engaged -Have you seen him? Follow him -I am trailing him -Tell me the location He has crossed the twin bridge I'll also join, I've crossed the twin bridge Chellapandian is going near the traffic island -Where is he going? -He is going to the right - Go fast -He is crossing the road -I have come close He is the guy, hit him -Poor fellow, untimely demise Pay the fine and come -OK Kasi, I am sethupathy here -Tell me leader -lmmediately come to Coimbatore - OK Why are you standing in hot sun dear? I was waiting for you only Were you waiting for me? What is the matter? My ear stud has fallen in the tank Will you take it out for me? Is your stud in this tank? For your sake, I will jump into the sea also, just see I will not come without the stud Is it stinking too much? this is our house septic tank Is it a septic tank? It is ok, after all it is our tank What a stink is this? This is a trade secret - Just like we sieve the gold sand I can get your stud - Take it Thank God! This is the last bucket this must be seived thoroughly Has the tank been cleaned? Many thanks Yet to get your ear stud, why do you thank me now? -You have already taken it -Which one? - The sludge - What about stud? - Here it is Don't be upset, the drain was blocked for the last 1 0 days ..the corporation guys asked for Rs 50 So I told you I have lost my ear stud But you are really fast You have cleaned it Good boy! Sinner She has made me clean this sludge Come, what do you want? Want to check the voter's list Give us your ration card We are newly married, we don't have a card for us -Come after 1 0 minutes, I'll get card from my in-law's place -OK - Brother - What? - Get ration card from our house and his house - Yes madam -Your name? - Kanmani - It is there Your husband's name? Arul Kumaran Baladhandayuthapani, Sornammal, Thirukumaran, Velkumaran, Senthil -Before that Arul Kumaran will be there - It is not there Check again I have checked, check for yourself Mom! Mom, am I not your son? Did you not give me birth? Is that man my dad? My name is not there in ration card How come it is missing? Who gave names? Am I so unwanted? Atleast girls can have husband's name in initials after marriage But males, have to use dad's name in initials, no other go He may say I am not his son But for me, till my death he is my dad Otherwise it will be a stigma on you I don't want to defame you Go, all of you Have you heard him? No one can give troubles to one's son more than this? For some of his wrongs, in my anger I didn't give his name I have even said my son is dead But have I ever said he is not my son? Uncle.. The jewels were not stolen by Arul It was done by him Arul also knows about this But till date he has not talked a word about it.. ..and has safeguarded his esteem Safeguarding it Greetings - Greetings leader - Come Kasi I was roaming with weapons You have now called me to politics -Bless you - Bring that, all of them call me bad But you have displayed huge hoardings for me You come victoriously I can get you a ministerial berth After the public meeting, file nomination tomorrow Leave it to me I'll show my prowess in the public meeting This is not an introductory meeting This must be Arul's doom - Change the route and finish him off - Arul has come to meet you Ask him to come, check him thoroughly before you let him Why so many mobile phones? Are you running a brothel? All guys are caught with mobile phones Sit down Heard you would kill me if I contest elections How many you have killed so far? Do you know about me? You are a big rowdy and is eking out a living with a sickle You have a roaring profession why do you interfere in this? Are you counselling me? I am not counseling telling you to run away wisely -What are you saying? -You might be a big thug in Tirunelveli But as for as Coimbatore is concerned, I know I know which is 'one way', which is a no parking area.. .. and number of speed breakers and signals, do you know? I can drive blind folded and reach the target, can you? - I am from Tambiraparani river banks - I am from Siruvani river banks You have grown with sickle But I have grown amidst bomb blasts If I kick you on the run do you know to get back to your place? Do you know..........(CENSORED) God does not like atrocities I don't like abuses -What will you do? Look at me and repeat it ..................(CENSORED) Look at my eyes and say that ..................(CENSORED) Put it down Put the phone down Put it down Hey you! 4 bombs are known Do you know how many more are there? Get back to your place If you conduct a public meeting Do that and see what happens........ What is this? He has blasted bombs and is going I am not scared of these toy bombs Arrange for the meeting I am garlanding leader Kasilingam I am prepared to toil for you day in and day out Whatever may be the hurdles I will return victoriously Thanks Kasilingam is a jasmine nurtured at Nellai He is a water lily blossomed in the night He has come here hopping He will win the elections....... - You have defied me and conducting the meeting - Who are you? Just see, now there will be a power failure -Where are you? -See now, your hoarding will be blasted Now it is the turn for your leader's hoarding You......(CENSORED) Where are you? -Leave that The dias won't be there now-Escape if possible Get down run Start the vehicle Are you running away scared? Who is scared? Right now I'll bring 5 lorry loads of men and see to it that you are finished Before you bring the lorry... ..see whether a lorry is in front of you? Is there a lorry behind you? If the lorry in front stops and the lorry behind rams into your car Do you know what will happen? - Where are you? Just turn behind You will hit men with your car But I will hit car with lorries Shall I? Driver stop the car Arul leave me, I know only about daggers and sickle I don't know about bombs I will go Ok, I will let you live Start the vehicle quickly That guy got admitted in hospital Then people went raving about Palayamkottai Kasilingam But he has also run away fearing your brother - Are you not scared? - No I am not But your eyes doesn't reveal the courage of your lips I am daily praying God for his well being Nothing will happen to him My husband is with him He will take care -What? -I want to know either of the two - What is that two? - Will you marry me or not? When did I say I will marry you? Then is your dance, songs and talks with me a farce? - You can take it that way - Sir.. Sir.. If you don't marry I will marry her and make her my wife Don't worry, I have 40 acres of ancestral property share I will transfer that to your name Why did you marry that beggar in haste? I am loving you dearly - Really - Yes - Then swear on my head - Not true Dont feel for it If we give 1 0 Rs she will give it back Have this 1 0Rs and give me the chain back Is the sacred thread so cheap to you? For each lady that is the protection I am a Tamilnadu beggar Come and live with me All of you come what happened? He is trying to decieve me after marrying me After marrying,is he deceiving? Are beggares so mean to you? Don't leave him, lift him Wait When you beg along with your wife, come to our house I will give you 4 idli's extra Kasilingam has fled without giving information CM is on the line You brought a rowdy from Palayamkottai He has run away This has spoiled the party's image I am the party chief,mind it Lot of them question us in party meetings I don't know what to do? Seems there will be inner party squabbles Today is the last day for filing nomination What have you decided? In my own soil, despite being the ruling party Couldn't find a candidate to contest I am going to contest Leader I will contest You said you will not contest the electons Why do you contest now? circumstancial compulsions Because Arul has popular support It is said you couldn't do anything You go away Go all of you Your partyman's refusal has not made you wise Are you going to contest? File the nomination and see the fun I will kill you on the spot Are you going to kill me? At 4'O'clock I am going to file the nomination Before that his family members count must come down Push him into the car Take him to the same place where they have killed my brother Senthil,my son what has happened to you? Oh my son, Senthil Who did this? Why did they kill my son? Senthil Oh God! Mother Oh God! Rowdies strike frequently Politicians wait for the right time to strike I am a politician you must cry People must die in your house That is your destiny Those with brothers need not fear any force With uncle's support you can climb any mountain You will not have that uncle also Why do you cry? Don't weep dear, Get him 2 baloons Uncle where are you? I am in the exhibition Who are all with you? Your sister and children None of our men are with you? Why,is there any problem? They have killed senthil How did it happen? Uncle Go fast What happened? why are you running? Have attacked a man Attacked? , Oh God Dear Bakkiam Dear Move Move away -Arul -Keep quiet Start the vehicle Don't leave them If you leave them, even these children will not survive It is nothing -Bakkiam -Daddy Do you know one thing? If you lose your partner,everything is lost You would have understood the next target You be here Move away Where is Kanmani? she has gone to her mother's house Dear Dear Body has not yet come from the hospital Kanmani, my life is gone My life has become like this Children have become orphans What will I do? Don't weep I only killed your husband I didn't intend to kill him But he died Do you know for his death, you only cry But the entire village is happy No one has found fault with me, why? Do you know, he has made how many women widows? Don't worry about the dead and spoil the life of your children I am arresting you for injuring Sethupathy's men Beloved Arul - Release him Beloved Arul - Release him Arul kumar'supporters indulge in agitations as cited by police, to avoid deterioration of Law and order I remand him to custody At Salem central jail for 1 5 days -Leader -Long live -Leader -Long live -Leader -Long live -Leader -Long live -Leader -Long live Stop the vehicle -Leader -Long live Why this much crowd Leader himself is contesting the elections He will have a sweeping victory Move away -Leader -Long live Move away, move Greetings Greetings Greetings collector Greetings, come be seated -Leader -Long live -Leader -Long live -Leader -Long live Normally they shout only when they see him Now they shout even after he has gone in What are you doing outside? One guy is on a chopping spree inside What are you saying sir? What is happening there? Break open What were you doing out? Ramanathan where are you? I am proceeding to Salem Jail where is Arul? He is with me sir Dont tell lies He has killed the peoples party leader here How can he come there when he is with me? Give the phone to him As per lPC I need not give he phone to an accused If you want you can meet him in person At Avinashi road our van is waiting We will go in that We have to prove Arul was not in the van to make him the accused Inform Avinashi check post Ok sir Ask highways patrol to follow the van Ok sir Inspector is on the line Arul where are you? We have crossed Karumathampatti Highway police is following me Before I reach Avinashi checkpost join me Check post is how far? 6 kilometers Between police and you? 300 meters I will somehow reach there Who has parked like this? Where is Arul? -Tell me - He is in the vehicle do you want to talk to him? AFTER 6 MONTHS Sorry, we're closed. Says who? Write something. We'll all sign. On this prank, I'm covering no one. Let's wait for René! Move your ass. Do what I said! Clear out or I'll call the cops! Cops don't scare us! Down, everyone! Noses on the floor! Move it! Strip! Kill me instead! A short poem... I wrote it, so listen! "Eddy... "Loyal friend, goodbye, "Prince of the B.R.I.! "You're a man so true, "We will all miss you. "Beloved by everyone, "Without enemies, not a one. "You're so dear... Shaddup! "That we'll all shed a tear, "A new life you've found, now you're Riviera-bound, "Why go away, leaving Titi this way?" Great, Titi! The gift! We'll see you soon, dear Eddy! We'll meet again, for sure! Shit, guys! A mouse! Let's split! Bye, thanks. - How you getting home? - A ride with Smao. - OK, Big Luc. - Titi! You forget anything? It was in the john! - Shit! - I'll say! In case you see a mouse. Thanks, Leo. - I take you home? - No, I'll take you. - You're taking me? - Yeah! Calling all cars. Look out for a vehicle, after armed robbery by three hooded men, flight direction unknown. Calling all cars, re a vehicle a black wagon, with 3 hooded men... Hi, Dennis... Hi, Leo. You're wrecks! Eddy's farewell dinner. What's the score? One conveyor dead, one mangled, 1 50,000 Euros gone. Witnesses? Only empty offices. Same guns, same C4 explosives, same planning. It's them again. Look around. You won't find much, but go ahead. The headless man says hi! Blown away by a mercury bullet. Eve Verhagen, OCU. Eddy Valence, bri. Yeah, I can read. Where do you hail from? Suburban narcotics squad. Sick of smashing syringes? You could say that. Klein is sulking, stay with him. Don't chat with the enemy. We're enemies? bri/OCU, it's an old rivalry. - Aren't we a big family? - So they say. She's private property. Klein's? Who else? How could you be pals with him? He wasn't always like this. Their names? Winterstein. Bruno and Rolf. The one who did me was Bruno. Christo warned me: "Your big mouth will get you in trouble." Now it has. 7 vans in 1 8 months 9 conveyors slaughtered, and a 2 million Euro booty. The Ministry of the lnterior sent us a memo. Asking us, and I quote: "to tackle the problem head on "and neutralize the criminals "who've derided our forces for too long." "Too long" is bad! Means we've been around for too long, doing nothing! As of today you're on duty 24 hours a day! Drop your personal problems, don't laze on Sundays, go out and nab that gang of fuckers before they strike for the 8th time! You got that? Got that, Capt. Kechichian? We were up late. For a good cause. Sure, loitering in a bar at 2 AM, after defacing the wall of a Government building, how can I fault you for being so admirable! - Anything else? - A lead on the van jobs. A Serbian arms-dealer: Victor Dragan. We got a tip off from an informant. A reliable source? Not at all. What do you say? I know the fellow. A sadistic loner. Barring a lucky break, he'll be tough to nail. Luck can be engineered. Briefing's over! Vrinks, you stay. I've been appointed Police Commissioner. As of when? I take over on Sept 1. Congratulations. I hate to leave before I've cleaned house. I want that gang, Leo. As my farewell gift. You'll get them. Another thing: someone will get my desk. You're the right man. Klein wants to be Chief. He wants power, that's different. But you both qualify: same rank, seniority, service rating. So whoever nails that scum, will be king. I don't mix with brass. It's better than mixing with whores and hoods. Times have changed. Get yourself a new style. You're an anomaly. Your men, your methods. In the police, now you toe the line, you snap to. If you don't, no one will cover for you. All the brass have caved in. Even you? Lay off me, shit! Who the fuck are you? Shit, what ya doin'? Who the fuck are you? What have I done? Don't do that, don't! Lay off Manou, or I'll stuff you with your brother's head. Quite a shiv! War booty. Creep's gotta hitchhike buck-naked, and cuffed! We shoulda wasted him! Gotta be ten grand! A year's pay for a flatfoot. Those fuckers! For our slush fund? No, it's for Manou. Leo. Come in. Hi, Christo. Manou's resting in her room. I'll tell her you're here. Let her rest. She OK? Just OK. Still after that van gang? Still am. I hear they hit again. Near the beltway, right? My only advice is: when you bust 'em, shoot first! You know anything? I'm not a snitch. Ask your questions elsewhere. Who worked over Manou? What do you mean? Leo... I'm 46, I spent 1 8 years in jail. She's the best thing that happened to me. Someone hurt her, I gotta know. If I tell you, what'll you do? That's up to me. You're in trouble any time you step out of here! You're a hood, Christo. With a record for armed robbery. If you smack your neighbor over a trifle, you go back to jail! Manou needs you: if you go down, so does she. Screw your cop morality. Anyway, it's settled. I dealt with it. This is to make amends. Around 7 grand. I'll see you out. Thanks, Leo. I won't forget. The guy you're looking for, Dragan. I know where he is. At a chick's place on Borrego St. Don't ask how I know. Police! Freeze! Stay there! Get up! Let me hug my kid. Your wrists! Sign there. Have a nice leave, Silien. Your Puch's in the toolbox. With a 2nd clip, just in case. This is dumb, Silien. You got 3 weeks to do. Watch the road. Neat vodka. You kept Dragan to yourself. Was that wrong? Don't they say, it takes two to tango? We're not dancing anymore. Anyway, he was a bum lead. How do you know? I know. That's all. Silien here. How are you, Captain? Am I intruding? Sure, it's after midnight. Where are you? In a hotel. I'm out till tomorrow night. On a leave. Wasn't a jailbreak. I gotta see you fast. Tonight, I can't. You'll regret it. Meet me in 1 hr at "Swann's". Same again? No, thanks. Camille OK? She's fine. When did you buy this? We'll talk cars later. What's up? Nice welcome! You haven't seen me in 4 years. Don't I rate a smile? This is a favor for a pal inside. You made me cross Paris for a lousy scam? I got a hot tip. You're a piece of shit. What is it? Heavy duty stuff. Real hot tip. Want it or not? What's the deal? Just stay with me. In a half-hour, it's done. Here he is. Stay in the car! Get going! Stop it! Why'd you screw me? Stop it! Stop, dammit! I know who the van gang are. And their next stunt. They're in the sticks. It starts from there. In exchange, you cover me. Or get nailed with me. Who did you waste? Marcus Zerbib, his driver and his goon. Marcus Zerbib? The guy who put you in jail? You'll get nabbed right away! Not with a good alibi. Now... you can grab the worst gang around. Choose. OK, let's have it. I know two of 'em: Francis Horn and Robert Boulanger. They're squatting in St Ouen. On Captain Glarner St. - Don't you say hi? - I hadn't seen you. - Want a drink? - I'm with friends. You got friends now? Your only friend is me. If I conk out, you're dead. Here's my direct line, so you can't forget it. Give me a lead, fast. That gang... I want their names first. Nobody knows them, I swear! I want news from you. Stay in touch. So I know you're OK. Good seeing you again. How'd you get that? It's nothing. At work. Why not tell me what you do? I don't want to lose you. You get home late, leave early. Lots of cops live that way. Many wind up all alone. What are you after? Nothing. I just do my job. Get up, lazybones! - Say: "Morning, Dad". - Morning, Dad. And give him a kiss. No school today? Never on Wednesday. You know that. Yeah, if I knew it's Wednesday. Mom in? Rushing as usual. Thanks for the... coffee! My ass is spreading, that's bad. I don't mind, I love big asses. Know what my big ass says to you? That it misses me. Sunday's my dad's 70th birthday. He hopes we'll come. There'll be a crowd. You don't have to talk. - What crowd? - My mom's family. Uncles, aunts, cousins coming from Rome. We'll see. Lola, hurry! Bye, daddy-o. Bye, honey. 6 slugs were fired. 2 hit the driver, 1 the goon, 3 Zerbib. No one saw much. The building's all oldies. By the time they shuffled to a window, it was all over. But the concierge saw a girl get out of the Merc and run away. Brunette, red coat, a BJ artist. Zerbib liked cheap whores. We'll find her. That's for Homicide, not us. You knew him well? Enough to want to nab his killer. Vrinks, bri. The names Horn and Boulanger. Give me all you've got. What's with the Zerbib case? He was getting a BJ in the car. Had his dong out and his pants down. A concierge saw the girl leave after the shooting. She see anything else? Ask Homicide, it's their baby. Can I see the telex? Boulanger. I got several, which do you want? Robert. Francis Horn and Robert Boulanger, aka Bob. Horn: armed robbery record. Wanted for theft, armed robbery, extortion and attempted murder. Weapons freak, ex-mercenary, trained in Syria, a real psycho. Boulanger broke from jail 2 years ago, killing a guard and an officer. Seems Horn sprung Boulanger to have him on his team. I have no other names, but they operate from here, a squat beside a warehouse by the beltway. First, we find lookouts and set up surveillance teams. Smao and Titi will be in the silo overlooking the squat. You photograph everyone coming and going. You identify all vehicles, and any lowlifes in the area. Second, we cordon off the area, block escape routes, one team per street in a perimeter of half a mile within the area. Third, we advise the local police we'll be playing on their turf for a few days, and to lie low on the day we make the grab. No neighborhood investigations or questioning, we avoid concierges, storekeepers, local hangouts. Klein, OCU. You don't know me, I know you. No waves: we settle in, watch and wait. Know what they'll hit? No. We can't lose them. Let's go. Wear bulletproof vests over your T-shirts. We have a common friend, a friend who just died. Marcus Zerbib, you know him? He wasn't a friend. You two were in business. Some nasty gossips say he snitched on you 4 years ago. The guys he snitched on would fill the phone book. But only you could gun him down in cold blood, during a leave from jail. Would I waste him when I have 2 weeks left to do? What's wrong, Leo? - Nothing, why? - Don't kid me. You're lost, I can tell. I'm in deep shit, and I can't discuss it. Not even with me? Not even with you. - Where were you that night? - With a cop. HQ's finest cop. We met at "Swann's" at 1 AM, we chewed the fat till 5 AM, then he dropped me at my hotel. OK? His name? Vrinks. I'll need your boys. What for? We located the van gang. How'd you get the tip? Know a man called Silien? Why? Says he was with you when Zerbib died. If he says so, must be true. Could I have that in writing? Investigating murders now? When my snitches get killed. Those fuckers give me a giant hard-on. Some get laid, others freeze! We're on the wrong team. No, that's his last fuck. We'll hump again. You sure? Big Luc to Fat Ass. Mercedes wagon, local plates, 4 men on board. It's headed your way. Long-haired guy is Frank Chenaf. I nabbed him for a holdup 1 0 years ago. A mean fucker. I don't know the others. Said and Jamel Attia. I say it's for tomorrow. Nabbing 'em in the act's dumb. They'll fire at us. We may lose them to avoid bloodshed. What do you suggest? We hit 'em at night, and gun down the lot of them. What about our ethics code? I've wiped my ass with that for years. They killed 9 men. 9 families call me every week hoping I'll have good news at last. I owe it to them. It obsesses me. Stay home, let Vrinks deal with it. I've worked 2 years on this case. It's my collar as much as anyone's. OK, but you'll be back-up. You only move in on Vrinks's orders. He and his men are the front line. He's in charge of this. Whether you like it or not. Igor here, they're coming out. - Headed for the cars. - Gotcha. Big Luc here, they're coming out. Two black SUV's and a Mercedes. Standby. I'll advise when they move. Seurat-Chenaf in the lead car, the Attia brothers in the second. And the rest? - I only see Boulanger. - The SUV's are off. They're taking off. The SUV's are leaving. Very slowly. I see them. They just passed us. Let 'em leave the area. Guy and Bernie tail the SUV's. We tail Horn, Boulanger, the chick. We only hit 'em at the warehouse. I repeat: don't hit 'em here! The SUV's are stopped at the entrance. - Horn and the chick are out. - We'll be OK. Armed to the teeth. Where's he going? Eve to Dennis. What's up? What are the orders? They're about to leave. Shit, someone's moving! Klein's headed for the squat. - He's alone. - What's he up to? He's drawn his gun, headed for them. Dennis to Leo. What is this? What is this? Answer! Cops, behind you. Move in at once! I said: move in now! - Shit, Big Luc! - They hit me! Grenade! Come on, bitch! Drop your guns! Drop your gun, pig! Drop your guns, hands on your heads! Hands on your head! Come along, bitch! Let go of her! Fuck you! Shut up! Drop your gun! Drop your gun. I'll waste her! On your knees! Kneel! That's better! Hands behind your head, scumbag! What kind of a fire is this? I'm melting, mmm... melting The rains are stranger The rains cannot douse the raging fire My heartbeats are straying, time has come under an intoxicating spell Why is every pore of my body assailed by smoke, these clouds of smoke? What are you looking at? I can see colours, a glow That glow the colour is a face... an identity. My gaze has made an identity that identity is a wondrous face which you have worn Aren't you getting cheated, are you? What you see dosen't exist. What you don't see, does exists Maria I don't know why I worry about you constantly That's because I'm the heroine of your story and you've even sent me a hero Kameshwar who can repair my bicycle and walk with me he walked with you but did anything happen? Yes and no. I'm not confused but I have to sort this out myself Blood! But there's no blood in your story Why're you being so morbid? I'm not I came to ask you if you're writing about Joan of Arc performed at the theatre will anyone understand your gobbledygook? Do you think there's only one kind of a woman in this world? Give it to me. Who's this flashing his teeth for no reason The message of this graffiti is Prague's face is a happy face Didn't it laugh earlier? There are many types of laughter Like mischievous laughter or mocking laughter Very few can laugh at themselves There you go again You can break into a lecture like a professor on any subject under the sun Why do we stick labels on our faces? Labels like produced in India, Japan, America? We can't choose our birth place NNo label is authentic. Labels are useless, they can't even tell you if a product is genuine or fake Like Czechoslovensko NNarodini podnik heavens, I'm getting out of here Darkness is upon me. Let the lights be on for a while Let me light my heart, light your hearts for me, Save me from the darkness for a while NNawab sahab, don't take the trouble of lighting your heart What a coincidence I have come here as if I were the light of the couplet Why are you aflame? Come pick up your pen and complete the Maria of your story Do you understand? That Kameshwar the imaginary nerd you sent after me, he's just like you When will the fever of this book abate? If NNagma were here, she would have taken care of everything She'll be here tomorrow My life is at a crucial juncture, you are right before my eyes You my creator, why have you brought me here and where do you intend to take me from here? Nowhere. Quit the pages of my book, I want to free you from my story You have become the real Maria I won't leave. I won't let you end your novel so abruptly I will now play the role of Maria on the stage of life Gardener any news of NNawab sahab? Bibiji I haven't seen him for days Don't know where he's vanished Why don't you know where he is? You don't know I'd quit working here after NNagma's wedding? I haven't seen him anywhere Ooof. Where could he have gone? NNagma's due to arrive. What am I to say to her? Yes? I'm Kunal. NNawab sahab? What do you want? I wanted to thank him. I've given up all my bad habits I'm setting off on a new road, the road which he showed me I want to earn fame as a singer I wanted to give this to him But he doesn't live in this city anymore Weirdoes! Who was it? how do I express my gratitude? I'm leaving but before that I want to assure you that your Meenaxi is alive These segments of your story, these pages lie scattered Your Meenaxi is walking on the strength of your pen her steps are firmly grounded, she isn't wavering Meenaxi has walked a very long way through your story Your pen wrote uncertainly at several points Yet Meenaxi accelerated her speed till the day she could come out of your story Then this pen was no longer yours, it belonged to Meenaxi You were shocked, you weren't sure where I'd lead your story to The story was no longer limited by the pen You tried to snatch the pen away from Meenaxi Now your Meenaxi stand before you as real as life Look your eyesight is fading You see me but only as a shadow Look you've become so weak You cannot touch my soul Surely you can hear someone's voice Surely you can hear the call of music Who is calling out to us? Let's find out So what if the road is lonely? So what if the night is as silent as a tomb? Let's be together always We have weathered so many storms together So what if we have to weather some more storms? Let's take two more steps towards our infinite destination Is life a thought? Or the search of a thought? The wayward foolfoolfoolishness of the heart The unfaithfulness of the heart O beauty don't ask me why or where. Just take me away with you Life is a secret a deep secret Why unlock the secret? Someone unknown, walked silentfooted into my life And I didn't even know how a moment changed into 400 long nights and three stories Like I didn't know how Meenaxi was born from the womb of the book This life is so strange Is this life just another book? Who are you? I am Meenaxi In the beginning humans, lived in small groups ... that collected food by hunting and gathering... Taking only what they needed to survive. Today, only a few humans still live in deep contact with nature... On some of the last pristine places on on earth. They continue a traditional way of life... That has been practised almost unchanged... for thousands of years. A way of life that has stood the test of time... And allows them to live in harmony with the natural surroundings. These may be some of the last remaining people to live in traditional lifestyle... Based on a wisdom passed down through countless generations. Many people have never heard their voices. Now, it may be time to listen. My voice been told by my parents and my grandparents... which was the same message they received from their grandparents for many generations... That was to treat Earth as a mother. When we respect the Earth mother then she provides for us. And all the things that we see on our way... Four legged animals... The ones in the ocean... Even the hills and boulders... They are relatives. By them learning that we are all related... We also learn responsibility to keep our planet alive. As I young boy... When I stood next to great tree, a big fullgrowing tree... I felt really small. I fell that I still had a place, here at this great tree... Bigger than me... Being on Earth longer... And I feel one with it. The way that my ancestors were able to maintain a unity... Within natural enviroment... Was to see all things sacred. Meaning, there was spirit in everything. We always respected our elders. We admired them for coming so far in life. My grandfather was a wonderful teacher and a great storyteller. It seemed as if, as he spoke he also healed. And I wanted to learn it. My grandfather told me as a nice speak... It would touch the hearts of many people. I know now, what he meant. And there is a healing in a story. There is power in a word. That's how we built the power of communities... That's how we told our children to be great leaders, To be great medicine people... Through the stories. The most basic "baggles" that is important to our traditional way of life is to have enough food to eat, to have water to drink... And to have firewood for keep ourselfes warm. The land provides us with all our basic needs... So we are completely dependant on nature. Without these things we can not survive. These things can be learned from other cultures, but we also learn from their mistakes. If the people to continue to treat the Earth wit no respect... Our traditional way of life will come to a end. When we killed an animal, the remains will be shared between the people... His skin will be used for clothes, for a blankets. If it's a big animal, then meat will be sun dryed to be eaten later... And all the meat will be eaten up. And sharing is a very important thing in our culture If you don't share with other people, they will not share with you. And sharing is just a natural way of life. The most important thing that I would teach the children is... That we must not forget about our land and our culture. Ancient teachings have been passed down through generations of our people. These teachings that all life forms are interconnected. Everything is part of one whole and living organism, And each part is vital to the survival of the whole. I believe the Earth is one living being. The end of anyone life form will lead to hardship of another. And if there are too many hardships, the whole will suffer beyond healing. I was taught that the most important thing is to have a peaceful heart. When we account that with who we are... We treat other life forms with compassion and kindness. Nature will always contain mysteries... We do not need to solve them all... We just need to be open and let it feel us. The energy of nature moves through the cycle of birth, death and rebirth... And it continues on and on... Moving from one form of life to another. Long before humans were able to communicate through modern medias... Cultures separated by vast oceans were sharing the same values. They speak in many languages, Yet, their messages continue to ... one another across the globe. I'm a man of people of the tides. Much of who I amcomes from the sea. Much of our spirituality comes from the sea. Somehow we are called back to the that place where all began... When there are things alive in the sea, then the sea becomes beautiful. When there are animals and creatures on Earth... Then the mother Earth becomes beautiful. When life is good, then we have time for the artist... The we have time to see the art. It reminds us of the heritage of our tribe. I live in a place where I can see all of nature... And this is how I learn... All the lessons to living for out there. When I go into bear country, I do ceremony for the bears... Through ceremony we are thankful... And say prayer for being part of this Earth. I respect other creatures, other animals... Because we are living together. I come from a society, where each one of us, is responsible for the ceremony... To heal the mother Earth. It heals our family. It heals our nations. It heals our tribe. People, they already know how they should keep the planet clean. This is the way we used to live. We are the ones, that are being dangerous species. That's what the raven say. That's what the eagle say. When you are living in the forest with the insects and the animals... We build a culture around the presence of those things. You always feel something is there... Warming you up or even frightening you or making you happy. The forest does speak to us. The basic value of the traditional way of life... is astonished to the belonging, of having a place. For me and family includes my community because they are so close to us... And we share our life with them every day. People can learn a lot from traditional way of life... If there is one thing, I think is to learn to live humbly on the land... To live humbly in this world. When this is the last generation to have traditional fortune beliefs... It may will be... That is the sad thing about traditional knowledge... If you don't take it know, it will be gone forever. We also want our children to have a good future... We also want to have this land intact for our grandchildren. We are nothing without animals, We are nothing without the forest. This is what we hope is transmited to the younger generation When I was young I used to climb trees to look for all sorts of fruits. I could go right to the very top and look way out... And I often wondered, "What is it like?" "What are people like on the other side of the mountain?" In every culture the elders hold the knowledge of the past... And the young are the future. When we look at the world through the eyes of future generations... We begin to discover what we all have in common... The most sacred thing, we ever had, was choice. And that's where all begins. Code 6-1-5-0-8 Southwestern. The scandal broke, you know, became public in the fall of 1999 when Officer Rafael Perez was facing a trial for having stolen cocaine from Department evidence lockers and putting it back on the street. I got a tip that six lbs. Of cocaine were missing from an LAPD evidence locker. I went about checking it through my sources and found an... found out yeah, sure enough, uh, cocaine was missing, they suspected it was an inside job, and, you know, on top of that, they suspected it was a cop. When the three kilos was taken, it was taken through the normal process which was: Checked out for court, all the protocols were followed whereby the officers checked it out, signed their name, wrote their serial number, but the mistake was that the desk clerk did not actually check the identification of the person. The cocaine was actually checked out under the name of "Joel Perez." Two weeks after it was checked out, a notice went to Joel Perez at his division saying, "You checked out some cocaine, we need it back." So Joel Perez goes downtown to Property Division, shows them the notice, says, "I didn't take out this cocaine. I don't know what you're talking about." Property Division then goes, pulls the record, and there is the property sign-out sheet saying Joel Perez with his serial number. He looks at it. He says, "That's not my signature." At that point, Robbery-Homicide Division is notified, they bring together detectives from numerous other divisions including Narcotics, Robbery-Homicide, Organized Crime, and they basically put together a core group of a task force to find this cocaine and figure out what happened. And I was ready to write the story and I got a call from a high-level deputy chief at the LAPD asking me to come and talk to him before I wrote the story. I went there, I met with him and he said, "Look, if you write the story, you are going to mess up our investigation. The officer who's under investigation doesn't know that we're looking at him. A story in your paper will alert him that he's under investigation. So if there's any way you can hold off, you know, we're asking you to hold off." And the answer essentially was that we would hold off on the story provided that they gave us the exclusive when they were ready to make an arrest. When Perez did the theft, he was wearing sunglasses and a cap, but he wasrt really disguised. And what he was really intending to do was he just wanted to be as calm and collected as possible so he would not attract any attention. The problem was that when he was doing that, the evidence clerk took it that he was being rude. So she actually remembered the incident. The department was looking not only at this guy suspected of stealing the drugs, but they were looking into a couple of other high-profile incidents involving officers to determine whether they might all be linked together. And those incidents were: The robbery of a Bank of America near USC of more than $700,000. It was later determined that it was done by an Officer David Mack. A broad-daylight shoot-out that involved an on-duty, plainclothes narcotics detective and an off-duty officer. The tip was... we were looking to see whether all of these things and some other incidents might be related. Rafael Perez and David Mack were good friends. They were partners. They went and partied in Vegas a couple days after Mack robbed the bank. There was no connection between Rafael Perez and any of the... misconduct that was allegedly committed by David Mack. Is it hard to believe, you know, that they traveled to Vegas the day after this bank robbery and that that topic doesn't come up? Absolutely. It is hard to believe, but, you know, that... that's smoke. It's not fire. I filed charges against Rafael Perez who we had identified as being the person who we believe, beyond a reasonable doubt, had actually stolen the three kilos of cocaine. When we got Perez's cell phone records, we were able to identify that he had made a lot of calls to a particular woman. When they ran her, they realized that she was a convicted felon. We did a "door knock" on her house, and, at that point, they found evidence of narcotics dealing in her apartment, plus photographs of Perez in the apartment, and her brother walked in carrying a quarter pound of cocaine. I pulled both their files and inside, I found that Perez had actually written letters to get immunity or leniency for both of them in each of their cases inappropriately. Now I had Perez socializing with and conducting inappropriate activities with respect to two convicted narcotics dealers, which, of course, tied him into the crime even so much more. LAPD asked me to file charges in August, and what I told them was we had seized an enormous amount of financial records from Perez at his home. I had issued about 20 or 30 subpoenas for records to all the various banks and institutions to try and establish that, in essence, Perez was spending more money than he was bringing in, which would corroborate the fact he was engaged in narcotics dealing. What I got was a request to go ahead and file the case even though the financial records were still outstanding. Under normal circumstances, but for that request from LAPD, I would have waited three more months until I got the financial records back. Kevin McKesson, Perez's attorney, the moment we filed charges, decided he wanted to go to trial as soon as possible. So we arrested him in August and we went to trial in December. It was uneard of to have a case go to trial that quick. In my mind, the reason why McKesson did it, was because he wanted to go to trial before those financial records came back. I didn't mind that at all, because again I felt I had a good solid case. Now the problem I had was that I knew that Perez was excellent at testifying. Everyone I talked to in the courthouse talked about how he was one of the best witnesses, one of the best officer witnesses they had ever seen. The bad news on that was that makes it more difficult to cross-examine. The good news is I knew he was going to testify. When Perez testified, what he admitted was that he actually was in the evidence room at or near the time the narcotics were stolen. So, in essence, what he tried to show was: Yes, there was proximity, but there was an innocent explanation for it. So he came up with a very elaborate lie, you know, that he just happened to be near the Property Division at the time of the theft; he just happened to be dating a woman who happened to be a narcotics dealer; that he just happened to call her shortly after the theft occurred. When an officer is a defendant, jurors have a very hard time convicting. And so there's a tendency to require more of the prosecution to convict a well-established and well-respected member of the community, such as a police officer. What we ended up with was a hung jury, 8 to 4 for conviction. So the result of that was a mistrial. The jury had serious problems with the prosecutiors case, I believe, because they can't prove he was there. There's no videotapes. There's no physical evidence to show he touched anything... anything of that nature, and so they can't prove he was there, he checked this out, nor can they prove he was enriched. And since they were unable to show any enrichment, we argued that they could not prove their case. Now with the retrial, we had more time. At that point, the financial records had come back and we were going to have the opportunity of at least two months to further investigate everything that Perez said. The LAPD detectives were sitting in on most of the trial. They were absolutely infuriated by Perez's testimony. They knew he was lying and they knew we couldn't prove it at the trial. So they redoubled their efforts to look up each and every statement that Perez made, and try and prove whether or not he lied. Another pound of cocaine had come up missing from another evidence room, on top of the theft of the three kilos, I felt there was sufficient corroboration that I went ahead and indicted Perez for the pound. During this point, Chief Parks, through intermediaries was telling me that the LAPD wanted us to reach an agreement with Perez where he would cooperate with the investigation. They wanted to find out if there were other dirty cops. They wanted to know if anyone else helped him with this. They were really very concerned that Perez was involved with other bad cops. What I offered Perez was five years in state prison. So instead of eight years, he'd get five if he cooperated. They wanted some information from Mr. Perez. We discussed it with the... with the prosecutor. We discussed with the judge and we basically... myself, Mr. Rosenthal and Judge Perry basically went line by line and negotiated this settlement agreement. McKesson had one contingency. He says, "There is an... an incident. It involves the use of force and we need that to be covered by the immunity agreement." I said, "You gotta give me more." At this point, we clear the courtroom so it's just Perez, McKesson, the court reporter and me. And he says, "Well, back a couple years ago, my partner and I shot a man, we overreacted, and then we covered it up." What Perez tells us is that he and his partner Nino Durden, are in an "OP," an observation post. They're in a vacant apartment building basically, looking out on the street, looking to see if they see any exchanges of guns or narcotics. And while they're there, according to their story to the courts, Javier Ovando bursts in, pulls a gun on Durden, Durden shoots him and then Perez shoots him and he goes down. Ovando was struck several times and was paralyzed from the waist down. Javier Ovando, unlike many victims of the Rampart scandal, actually went to court to try to fight the charges. And the judge sentenced him 23 years in prison, and threw the book at him largely because the judge said he, quote "showed no remorse." When Rafael Perez sat down to talk to investigators of the corruption task force, the official police version of the shooting of Javier Francisco Ovando, was the first thing that unraveled. He said that the police account was completely wrong and fabricated. We don't know whether or not Perez is telling the truth. But what we do know is that he's recanted his testimony. We know that there's not a judge on God's green earth who's not gonna give Ovando a new trial, if he were to ask for it, and we know that there's no way in the world we can convict Ovando based upon the state of the evidence now. And we have to let him go. The circumstances of this case are so egregious that we decided it was in the interest of justice and necessary for our office to take, uh, the lead. In general, what Perez told us was that there was a large significant group of officers in the Rampart "CRASH" Division... "CRASH" stood for Community Resources Against Street Hoodlums, which was the gang unit... who were framing gang members, planting guns on them, involved in bad shootings, committing perjury, and basically engaged in a wide variety of corrupt behavior. He just goes on to lay out this whole thing, describing, um, the way that, you know, the gang unit works, and, you know, the whole "us against them" and "ends justify the means," and "we'll do what it takes," and so on. And, you know, he gets into detail on various cases. And this goes on over months, you know. They're debriefing him in secret locations, and, they'll just sit case file after case file in front of him and he'll say, "This one was fine," or "No, there were problems with this one." And in some cases he had personal knowledge of problems in a case, and other cases he'd pulled them because he heard something was wrong with it. And other cases he pulled because he... he said the way it was written to him seemed "suspicious." And so the department would take all of those things and investigate them all kind of equally. According to Perez, to become a member of CRASH, the other officers in the unit had to vote you in. Um, it wasrt like a situation where supervisors would look for the best officer to, you know, to fill in in the unit. It was more kind of like a fraternity where people were voting people in and out of the unit. You know, they wanted, quote "solid officers." And if you were a solid officer, you were considered quote "in the loop." These are phrases that were taken from the transcripts. And what he meant by being a "solid officer" and "in the loop" was that you were willing to perjure yourself, back up your partner, even if that meant lying, you know, planting evidence, covering up unjustified shootings. You were willing to, you know, to lie to protect the conduct or misconduct of you and your partner. You know, for example, when it came to shootings, according to Perez, if there was an officer-involved shooting that involved CRASH, you're not gonna just get on the radio and call for backup and have sergeants and captains and everyone else responding. You did a special call, "CRASH 10-20-30-40," I think it was, that just got all the CRASH guys there. They would award plaques following officer-involved shootings. You got one type of plaque if you wounded a suspect. You got another type of plaque if you killed a suspect. And, you know, we wrote about the tattoos that they had with skulls and the gleaming eyes and the aces and eights, you know, the "dead mars hand." And then, it got to the point where in Rampart, officers were carrying around crack cocaine in their pockets to plant on people that they didn't want on the streets, gang members that they thought were problems. They were gonna get rid of them by taking cocaine out of their pocket, and putting it in theirs. The environment in which CRASH operated allowed corruption to flourish. I mean, the CRASH unit had an office that was off-campus, away from the main Rampart station. They were their own little entity. By the LAPD's own account, it was a poorly supervised unit that poorly documented their activities. Crack was a huge problem. Homicide numbers were soaring. It was a violent time in the city, and what they thought was the ends justified the means. "We're there to do a job. We're there to take the neighborhoods back." We're there to make sure that regular people who obey the law, can walk down the street without being threatened by these gang members and these criminals. You know, when you have a motto like "we intimidate those who intimidate others," there's a certain attitude that goes along with it. I don't think this seemed like a great big deal at the time. I think they feel like they had the backing of the leadership and certainly of the the community. The victims in these frame-up cases and whatnot are not sympathetic. I mean, most of these are hardcore gang members who have committed lots of crimes and you know the saying, "if they werert guilty of this, they're guilty of something else." And, you know, I'm sure that's true, but the question is: Do you grant the power to suspend the Constitution to some 25-year-old cop who decides who it's okay to frame and who it's not okay to frame and you know, "I know what happened here so I'll take care of this," and I think the answer that most people would say for that is no. The Pager Incident was a key episode in Perez's career. It's the first case in which he decided to break the law and profit from illegal conduct. Let's go. LAPD! LAPD! - Don't move! Hands behind your head! - Freeze! LAPD! Get your ass on the floor now! Shut up! They get inside the door, and there are drugs all over the place. He and Durden take a pound of cocaine that's in a paper bag. They decided to keep the dealer's pager, and when they get back to the station, somebody called the pager. - Check this out. - It's a common ploy in law enforcement to call back and make an arrangement and then arrest the people for attempting to buy narcotics. ? Donde estas? Ahi viene en 30 minutos. Al rato. - What's up? - Let's go. Perez sets it up and they roll up in an undercover narcotics vehicle, and just as Perez is getting ready to walk out of the car and do the deal, Durden says something to the effect of... Screw it. Let's just sell it to them, man. And Perez completely agreed. They sold the dope, kept the money, kept the pager, told the guy, "You ever need anything else you know where to find us." And they did a couple more deals for about $10,000. He says that this was the first time that he sold drugs and broke the law and it was the beginning of what would become a notorious career. - All good? - Let's go. There are two distinct elements to the Rampart scandal: There's Perez and Durden who admit to stealing drugs, putting them back on the street for their own personal profit. Just straight out criminal activity. The other element is the sort of widespread "us against them" kind of misconduct that Perez says was occurring throughout the anti-gang unit, sort of "the ends justifies the means." Perez told us a lot about the Shatto Place shooting where one individual was killed, another one was wounded, and there was a lot of gunfire with a large number of Rampart CRASH officers. There were a group of gangsters who were holding a memorial service in front of the building for a slain gang member. So they send in some officers through the back, and some officers through the front. Perez came up on the scene just as one of the gang members went running into the apartment building. The officer said that the gang member pointed the gun at him and then they shot him with a shotgun and injured him. According to Perez, however, the gangster had the gun in his waistband but never pulled it out and pointed it at the officers. And then in addition, you had a fatality where some officers in the back saw a gang member, chased after him, fired shots at him, all throughout the apartment building, and then as he ran down the stairwell, he ran into another officer who fired a shot and hit him right in the center chest, one shot. The gangster goes down, no gun. So they plant a gun on him and take the gun out of the injured gang member and they just say that... they just throw it, so that it's out there where they can say that he was holding it. The Shatto Place case was more significant in one sense than Ovando, because Ovando pretty much just involved Perez and Durden. With Shatto Place, it involved the CRASH unit. What it showed, in essence, was a corrupt division as opposed to simply two corrupt officers. These werert the type of crimes that investigators who had been on this corruption task force were expecting to hear when Perez agreed to talk. They thought he was gonna talk about his relationships with other officers who had gone bad on the job. I was living two unmistakable lives... and each day the bad would consume a little of the good. There have been a number of people who would like to cast Perez as a liar. And clearly, you know, to some extent, he is a liar. He admits, you know, lying for years in police reports and framing people and everything else, but he maintains that once he began identifying these allegedly crooked cops that he worked with, that the lies stopped. As a condition of the plea agreement, uh, Mr. Perez was required to take a lie detector test. The district attorneys took the the position initially, that the lie detector tests, uh, were flunked by Mr. Perez. Each side hired their own polygraph examiners to review the results of the polygraph that Mr. Perez allegedly didn't pass. And after the experts looked at it, both sides agreed that the polygraph was not administered properly and could not be relied upon. He could have gotten many, many years for perjury if anyone could have actually proven that he lied about anything. And in the end, no proof whatsoever came out. The District Attorney wanted officers to come forward and they were going to grant them amnesty and confidentiality if they would tell them about the misconduct they witnessed. They were trying to give these officers an opportunity to come forward without getting punished by the LAPD. But once it became clear how far this went and that we were talking about potential systemic corruption within the LAPD, and how it was extraordinarily embarrassing to the LAPD, the Chief shut down, and he circled the wagons, and he stopped cooperating with the DA's office. Parks was known as a strict disciplinarian, and basically he made it known that if somebody witnessed misconduct and they failed to report it, "you're gonna be fired because you did not live up to our expectations as a police officer." The result of that strict type of interpretation is that no officer will come forward, that you have assured that no officer will come forward to corroborate Perez. And the way we knew that this really harmed us was one officer actually did go to the LA Times. And the LA Times reported that he corroborated much of what Perez said. This is the person we were searching for. This is the witness who could have given us potentially a criminal case against multiple officers. And the result of it is that the code of silence was just solidified. So there would be stories in the paper where there was corroboration of what Perez was saying. These officers would come forward to us provided that we not use their name for fear of retribution within the department. We talked to high-ranking District Attorney's officials and high-ranking LAPD officials and they concluded that they never got to the bottom of Perez's allegations. They never got to the bottom of the scandal that was occurring at Rampart and elsewhere in the Department. And they feel that officers who committed crimes and serious misconduct remain on the job today. My job became an intoxicant that I lusted after. The lines between right and wrong became fuzzy and indistinct. Whoever chases monsters should see to it that in the process, he does not become a monster himself. Truth is hard. But Hostility stays outside. Who would like to start? Well, you're the one with all the answers, Doc, why don't you tell us? - Hostility stays outside, Dan. - Things have just gotten out of hand, - so, we thought we could use some... - No, you thought. - ... objectivity. - Define "gotten out of hand". Nathan? Pass. We reached the breaking point two weeks ago when my son... - You hear that? "My son". - Deb is speaking now, Dan. When our son collapsed on the basketball court after taking drugs to boost his performance. The kid made a mistake, he knows that. His father has been bullying him about the sport since he was old enough to hold a ball. Is that true, Nathan? His mother is so quick to put the blame on me, but up until recently, job always came first. Yes, but I changed my behavior Dan, you haven't. You cant seem to loose this unhealthy obsession you have with basketball, - and how Nathan plays it. - She blames me for her shortcomings as a mother. Okay, I think we got some things out in the open. Nathan, do you think that basketball is part of your families problem? - Part of. - But you still like playing? I don't know anymore. Great, nice break through Nate. Thanks, Doc. - Dan. - Hustle up! No way this is helping. You're right, Dan, we don't need a shrink to identify this families problem, you just made it obvious. I'm not his only parent, Deb. - Hey why don't you ride with your old man, Nathan. - Stop it, Dan. Come on Nathan, lets go. Let the kid make up his own mind. What do you say, son? Nate? Nathan! Here we go. This is the writer I was talking about. Somerset Maugham? Well its, "Maugham" - Human Bondage. - Bondage! Yeah, its not like that. So, you're good. Are we done here? Well, I just thought that this was a better opportunity for us to spend some time, you know, hang out with each other. And it is, but can we maybe do it someplace that smells a little less funky? Haha, it's the smell of old books. Like I said! Come on, its my turn. Please? Just keep it legal. Wait, you sure your parents wont come home? They could. But, this isn't their Jacuzzi. Brooke... whose house is this? I don't know! Does it matter? Here you go. Wow, for the diet special that looks pretty damn tasty. Oh! Sorry. Things have worked out pretty well, huh? Karen's café gets to stay open, and I get to see a little more of my sister-in-law. So, how are you doing with things? Uh, we had our first counseling session yesterday. Dan and counseling. It's kind of like Hannibal Lector at a salad bar. Well, if you think it would help, I'd be happy to talk to Nathan. I think he'd like that. I know you like my women, Keith, but come on! Deb's still my wife. Won't be for long if you keep this up. I'm taking Nathan to dinner tonight. Do you have a problem with that? - Yeah. He needs a break from you. - You can't stop me from seeing my own son. Oh, actually I can. By telling you nicely, or calling a lawyer. Your choice. Tell him I'll pick him up at 7. Tell Nathan to come see me. I'll do what I can. Peyton? Peyton! - Where's Peyton? - Dressing for school is my guess. Who are you? I'm the guy who's about to take that rake from you and beat your scrawny ass. I'm her dad. Who are you? Oh. Sorry. The front door was open and I thought... I'm Lucas. Larry Sawyer. Hey dad, do you know where my... What are you doing here? Oh he's trying to rake me to death. What? ! I thought you were... nothing crucial. I'm gonna go put this back. - So, who's the guy? - What guy? The one that's got you smiling. That'd be my dad. Oh, I'd be smiling too but for entirely different reasons. Dude, that's my dad! Don't go all horndog on me. There's a line! Speaking of which, I really don't wanna cross any so tell me if this is totally inappropriate to ask. When has that every stopped you? I need to connect more with Lucas. I thought you guys were already doing that. I mean, the making out thing is great and all but it only goes so far. Can you help a girl out? Yeah. You know what? Give him this. Travis. Yeah, Tell him that tracks 8 and 11 make you think of him. Great. Wait, make me think of him or make you think of him? Just friends. I know, sorry. You're a goddess. Did you finish 'The Little Prince'? No, I just rented the movie. This book is stupid. Nathan, you're not going to pass French if you keep renting movies. Well, its not like I have a lot of time to just sit around and read. So, are you ever going to tell me how it went? The therapist asked me if I really want to play basketball or not. Wow, what did you say? I didn't know what to say. Nobody's ever asked me that question. Wow, that's really big. This last couple of weeks without it, I mean if I didn't play I might actually have a life. - What would you do? - I don't know. At least I'd have some time to figure it out though. Besides, I'm sure we could find a lot better things to do with our time, right? You think? I think you're really brave. To consider rebuilding who you are. I don't know if I could do that. You could. - Well, I gotta go. - Oh yeah. Hey, um, practice starts back up again today, right? Yeah, I'm just not sure if I do. I'll see ya. All work and no Brooke make Luke a boring boy. - Hey. - I got you something. But I don't have anything for you. And yet you do. A couple of songs on there that made me think of you. Of course most things do. I didn't know you were into Travis. Are you kidding, I love Travis. He's the best. Who? Travis guy. Are we not in the same conversation? Check out tracks 8 and 13. You'll love them. Bye. Thought you might want that back. I already have it. So do I. Tracks 8 and 11? Totally you. So what are you doing? Some sort of serrano thing for Brooke? - Why would I do that? - Well, I asked you first Look, don't underestimate Brooke. She's full of surprises. Its just part of her charm. She told me to listen to track 13. There are only 12 songs. Honest mistake. Yeah, I guess. Anyway, sorry about this morning with your dad. I had no idea he was there. It's cause he usually isn't. I thought you were happy with your setup. That's what I tell him. I make up stuff in the emails I send him about how happy I am being on my own, and how responsible I'm being even when I'm not. He loves his job, you know? And after my mom died, it's just not fair to ask him to give that up. But I miss him when he's away. You tell him that? He worries. It's just better not to. So listen, I don't have a lot of quiet time these days. You mind if I just sit and read while you draw? As long as you don't act out the parts. Alright. My mom said you wanted to see me. Yeah. Hand me that ratchet, would you? So how are you holding up? Why? Are you going to report it back to my mom? It's not like that, Nate. Look, I know you and I haven't talked very much. And I'm sorry about that. But that's just fall out from your dad and me. I know you're going through some tough times so, if you need anything... Well, let me ask you something. You played basketball in high school, right? - Only for a little while. - You didn't enjoy it? What are you kidding me? I loved it! But there was no pressure then. And then I didn't love it so much anymore. Your dad came up and just made everything a competition. So then you just walked away? Only looked back at the cheerleaders. It's just a game, Nate. Not a life. Hey spirit girl. That cheerleading thing always throws me off. What? Just the more I get to know you the harder it is to wrap my head around it. My mom used to cheer and Brooke and I have been cheering together forever so it's just kind of our thing. - Oh cool. - What's up? So, um, I need some advice. About Nathan. I don't know if its crossing a line. Okay, funny wasn't what I was going for but.. I was the queen of boyfriend-dysfunction and now I guess I'm everybody's go-to on relationship advice its just kind of bizarre, right? If it's too weird then... No it's cool. What's going on? Well, um, Nathan's talking about quitting the team. And I just, I don't know what to say. Yeah, look I could never find the words to get through that big wall that he puts up so I really can't help you out much. But you're so much better with him than I ever was. He's lucky to have you. Thanks. I don't want to keep you from your practice. Hmm. Go Ravens. Hey, um, I didn't mean anything, about your mom. It's cool. Okay. You could have told me Travis was a group. It's not like it's some big secret. Lucas gave me the weirdest look when I said that. I felt so stupid. You're not stupid. You guys just don't like the same things. See, that's the problem. He brings up art and books and I've got nothing. - Hey you. - Hey you. And you. Welcome back, gentlemen. Lets see how soft you all got after that little hiatus. Suicides. Now. Better be a basketball in that thing, Jagielski. Come on, Coach. It's either this or I miss practice. Alright, we'll find her a spot with a good view so that she can watch her daddy throw up. I'll take her, Jake. Yeah? Thanks, Peyton. Glad to. Alright, gather around. Where's Nathan? Tim, you're his girlfriend, where is he? I don't know, coach. He was at school today. Alright. I've got some offensive sets worked out here. Line up at the low stacks. So I had an idea. Okay. Remember when I read that Steinberg book? Steinbeck. Yeah, that guy. And then you did something that I wanted. Oh yeah, yeah. Getting drunk, tattooed and grounded? But in a fun way. I'm thinking we should try that again. Okay, you might want to run that by Keith first. Not exactly that, I just, I want to know everything about you. And I want you to know... almost everything about me. - What's going on, Brooke? - Nothing. I just... I want to know you better, Luke. So how about, the next time you do something you love, you bring me along, and then we trade. Are you busy after practice tomorrow? Yeah, I have a date with you. Half with olives. We aim to please. Well, you hit the bulls eye Tara. What? You know how I like to kid around. Yeah, you're famous for it. Dad, you really think that's gonna help what's going on? Look, you know I think this counseling crap is ridiculous but I promised your mom I'd try again. We'll be okay. Right. You just focus on your game. Whitey kick your ass today? I didn't go to practice. What's going on with you, Nate? Nothing, I just need some time. Okay? No its not okay. It's career suicide. - Dad, Keith said... - Keith said! You talked to Keith? You take advice from Keith you'll end up spending the rest of your life running a second rate auto garage. Is that what you want? I told you. I don't know what I want. That's just freaky. Where do you get off telling Nathan he can quit the team? I didn't tell him he could quit. He wanted to talk, we talked. Maybe you ought to try it, sometimes. So you neglect him most of his life, I'm out of the house a week, and there you are? He surprised me, Dan. You know, Nathan's a good kid. You got him so screwed up he doesn't know what he wants. Deb got her hand up your back, Keith? Deb's the best thing Nathan's got going for him right now. - She's trying to save him. - What the hell do you think I'm trying to do? I've been trying to figure that out all these years, Danny. I don't mind you playing Daddy to one of my offspring, but leave the good one alone, would you? Hey Peyton. Missing these? Those are the keys to the squads equipment cabinet. I gave them to Jenny yesterday to play with. She was shaking them like a pom pom. Maybe she'll be a cheerleader. Or President. You gotta think big. Alright, you never know. Whatever makes her happy. You know, I think its really amazing how committed to her you are. Well, its really not that hard. I mean, from the moment I saw her I was totally hooked. She's just so cute. And I think about watching her grow up. I couldn't imagine not being there. You know, I bet you're a really great dad. I don't know. Some days I wonder. Hey Nathan. Hey. Missed you at practice. Look man, you don't have to be nice to me cause I'm going out with Haley, okay? I'm not. Team sucks on a day without you man. Ask Whitey. I'm trying to avoid him. That's cool. Do what you got to do. Usually do. Am I hallucinating? Did I just see you talking to Lucas? No, he was trying to talk to me. The whole nice guy thing's wearing kind of thin. You want to walk to English? Actually, I think I'm gonna cut out of here a little bit early. Wanna join me? Are you serious? Yeah, why not? You up for it? I can't, Nathan. Alright. Well, look, I gotta get out of here so I'll catch you later. Okay. You know what? Catch me now. - Oh My God! - Nice, huh? So, are we trying to get killed? I told you, my dad's in Charlotte, it's okay. I've never seen you like this. Now you have. - Let's go inside. - Okay. - Okay, 1...3...5... - Okay. - Got it? - Yeah I'm good. Oh, stop moving the pier. Nice knowing you. You've got Mason Bowl next week and this is how you're training? - Can we do this later? - There may not be a later for you. - Oh, oh Mr. Scott... - Was I talking to you? Get in the car. I'm driving you both home. You're mother's going to love this. You getting drunk on her watch... There's some kind of interesting news that I need to talk to you about. Why does interesting scare me? No, no. Listen, the company's been hired to do some flood control. They want me to supervise. How long is it going to be this time? Well, seeing that it is in New Zealand, um, 3 maybe 4 months. So, what's the upside? It's a lot of money, sweetie. Way more than I make now. We could be good to go for a while. Maybe even afford that art school you talk about. Is this something that you want? I only want to do this if it's right for us. You should do it, dad. What happened to you? Nice to see you too. Yeah, I missed you in sixth period. Yeah, I kind of skipped. You can get your jaw off the floor now. He's got you skipping school? Lucas, talk to me when you get your tattoo removed. Alright. Lucas! What are you doing? I'm taking care of my little girl. You are such a trouble maker. Daddy stop it, come on. Don't. Stop. Hey, sit down, Rake Boy. Hey. I'm never gonna live that one down. Probably not. It's okay, he can be way worse. What have you got there? - You're reading Faulkner in school now? - No, I just love his stuff. So what did you do last night? I saw you with Peyton. What are you talking about? You two just looked pretty friendly. Well, that's because we're friends. And what are we? Well, I thought that we were dating. Well, it looked more like you were dating Peyton. How messed up is that? Brooke! What was that about? She's mad. She saw us together last night. I'll talk to her. Explain to her how bored out of my skull I was listening to you and my dad talk about dead writers all night. You okay? You just seemed kind of weird when your dad called me over. He had just told me about this horrid job he's taken in New Zealand, so he's gonna be gone for like ever now. Well, did you tell him not to? When we spoke on the phone, you told me it was crucial that you speak to Julia in person. Yes, and I changed my mind. I-I spoke to her over the phone. About what? About Kelly's disappearance. I asked her if she would check Alan's cell phone and see if there were any recently made calls. And? She wouldn't do it. You don't take no for an answer, Sherry. What aren't you telling me? Nothing, David, I swear. What have you been up to since we last talked if you weren't at Milliken's? Making calls. You could have made them from here. Yes, but I didn't. I parked on the side of the road, I started making calls because I didn't want to wait. I told you we have a small window of opportunity here. I wanted to exploit the fact that Milliken may not have had time to cover his tracks when he had someone grab Kelly. All right. I have other things to attend to. Okay. Is there anything else? That's it. Hello, Nina. Take her to interrogation 819. Yes, sir. What's the security configuration? Don't worry about it, Jack. We're handling Nina. Ryan, you know what she's capable of. That's none of your concern right now. I'm sending you to medical to get checked out. I'm fine. I don't think you are. What's this about? We found evidence you've been injecting heroin. Tell me I'm off here, Jack. Tell me I'm wrong. I didn't think so. Ryan, I haven't missed a step. I'm fine. I have to cover my ass. - I need to get you checked out. - You're wasting time. - Kim. - Yeah? I thought you'd want to know your dad's back. What about Chase? Uh, he's a few minutes behind. Thank you. Kim. Dad. Oh, god. Hi. She's here. I know, sweetheart. I know. Come here. Look, I have to debrief Chappelle. I'll see you in a minute, okay? Dad, I know about your drug problem. Why didn't you come to me with this? Come here. Come here. I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry. I was embarrassed. And it wasn't your problem, and it still isn't. I didn't want you to worry. Well, is it over? No, not exactly. I think I'm going to have to go into a program, and get some help. - I'm so sorry. - It's okay. Chappelle wants me to go into the clinic and get checked out. - We'll talk about this later, okay? - Okay. Don't worry. - I love you. - Me, too. Okay. Jack. I'm glad you're back. It's been difficult without you. Thanks, Chloe. - Chase. - Yeah. - Need to talk to you. - Okay. Why don't you take a few minutes and come to my office. Yeah, sure. Mr. Milliken? Mr. Milliken? Oh, my god. Mrs. Milliken! Come quickly! Quickly! Hey. How's the hand? It's fine. How'd Chappelle find out? I don't know, it doesn't really matter. What's going on out there? Almeida's going to be interrogating Nina, and I'll follow it from a feed. Okay, good. Make sure Tony puts double security on the doors. Get back to me as soon as she gives you anything. Agent Bauer, keep pressure here. Sure. Thank you. Jack, you're about to find something out about me that's not going to make you happy. What are you talking about? Excuse me. Do you mind? I've got a daughter. - A daughter? - It was sprung on me a month ago. Her mother dropped her off, and she split. It's a long story. Does Kim know about this? Yeah. From you? I haven't had a chance to talk to her myself yet. You square this with her, Chase, you understand me? Just make that right. And get back to me as soon as Nina gives you anything. I will. Are we up yet? Yep. Video's piped in, voice analysis, vitals, transcription. - We're all set. - Nick, do you copy? - Yeah, I read you. - We're ready to go. All right, recording to hard drive now. So, Tony's doing this? Yeah. Is that going to be weird for you? What do you mean? Didn't-didn't he and Nina go out? Yeah. We set? Yeah. All right. I want you to do a hi-res on her eyes. She's tired. We might be able to pick up a tell. Okay. So, we all right? Yeah. We're fine. All right. Let's do this. I got the hi-res on monitor two. Tony. Didn't know I was gonna see you today. You know what we want. We need to find Michael Amador before he unloads the virus. I've already told Jack everything I know. Well, I want you to tell me. First Jack, now you. Hmm... what does that remind me of? You told Jack that Amador might try to contact a Marcus Alvers. So, where do we look for Alvers? That's a nice ring. Who's the lucky girl? Hope you did a background check, though, 'cause you don't want to make the same mistake twice. You're going back to prison. There's a good chance you'll be executed as a traitor. Now you know if you cooperate, you may be able to save your own life, but you're stalling. Which means you know something and you still think there's a play you can make, only now's not the right time. Very incisive. I hope your wife appreciates that about you. Why don't you tell me about Alvers? All I know is that he works only with Amador. I don't know him personally. All we've been able to dig up on him are a few random medical records under one of his known aliases. He had an MRI on one of his knees, there's a prescription for antibiotics, treated for HIV... Her pulse is spiking. Someone hasn't been using protection with Marcus Alvers. She's probably had sex with him. See, Nina, my colleagues in the next room tell me that something in those medical records concerns you. I'm guessing it's not the knee. I'm here to see Alvers. Marcus. Michael. How was your trip? Interesting. I still don't understand why you risked so much down in Mexico, why you didn't come here directly. 240 million dollars made it worth the risk. What about Nina? If she wasn't killed by the bomb, I'm sure our buyers took care of her once they found out she didn't deliver the virus. Either way, she's out of the picture. I hope so. She can point to both of us. We'll be long gone before anyone starts looking. Kim. Look, I know we haven't talked since I got back. No, we haven't. I know what you must be thinking, but you need to give me a chance to explain. I don't know what to think. Look, I'm happy that you're okay, but this thing... you have a baby, Chase. We've been together for more than three months, and you kept this secret from me. Who's the mother? Where does she fit into this? That's what I want to talk to you about. I didn't know I had a daughter until a month ago. How could you not know? Angela's mother and I went out last year. Okay, it's over. And when it ended, she never told me she was pregnant. Now she calls a month ago and tells me she has a baby, and that I'm the father. And she's in trouble, and she can't handle it. I was afraid to let people find out. I was afraid it was gonna mess us up. But you told Chloe. Chloe and my sister have been helping me take care of the baby. She's a good friend. Excuse me. Chase? You wanted me to let you know when Angela woke up. - Thank you. - Sure. Kim, I'm just as confused as you are. But all I know is that I love you. And I'm falling in love with Angela, too. And I need to make this work. Go on. What's happening with Nina in interrogation? They're getting something. What? The connection between Alvers and Nina might be deeper than we thought. You'd better hope she's not just spinning your wheels, because she knows how to manipulate our interrogation protocol. Tony knows what he's doing. Okay, fine. Look, I need to get together with Chloe. I need everything that she's got on the Amador investigation. Not yet. Ryan, look, you're wasting my time. Now, I humored you with the physical. And we both know that my blood work's gonna come back with trace amounts of opiates, but enough is enough. Rae Plachecki from the inspector general's office is here. She wants to talk to you. - Well, this is not the time. - Actually, it is. You'll talk to her, then we'll evaluate whether you can go back to work or not. Come on. Rae Plachecki, this is Jack Bauer. You know the drill, Jack. I'm gonna ask you some questions, but I want you to know, I'm on your side. We just want to establish that this heroin addiction was a necessary part of your cover. It was necessary to maintain my cover. Are we done now? Sit down, Jack. This is Rae Plachecki. The time is 2:31 A.M. This is the interrogation of Jack Bauer, director of field ops, CTU. Ryan Chappelle is present. Jack, tell us how you established your cover with Ramon Salazar. I first came in contact with the Salazars approximately two years ago. They were an up-and-coming narcotic cartel, coming out of Mexico. So, when did you meet Amador? Did you know him when you were working at CTU? Tell me something, Nina, what kind of a deal you think you're gonna cut? You've betrayed everybody you know, including me. You murdered Jack's wife. You helped terrorists smuggle a nuclear bomb into this country. You're helping to unleash a deadly virus into the general population. Help me understand this. What do you want? What is it you get out of being a mass murderer? Your neck is bleeding. Dalton, what do you got? So far, the only reactions we're getting from her are subliminal. If she's not gonna say anything, we need to be more plugged in to her vitals. We can take her down to seven, give her a passive response test. Seven's not secure enough. She stays here. Where's Richards? He's waiting. All right, let's bring him in. Send Darren in. Nina, I don't think you've met Darren Richards. He joined us after you left. Hello, Darren. Don't take it personally. He doesn't talk much. Uh, something's not connecting up for me, Jack. You say that you weren't in with the Salazars until early February, but the first time you started using was late December. That's six weeks of shooting up for the benefit of no one. Am I missing something? I was trying to pass myself off as a junkie. I wanted to be prepared. What do you mean, "prepared"? The Salazars lived their entire lives in the drug world. If I couldn't handle the narcotics that went with that territory, they'd have known I was a cop, and they'd have killed me. I needed to be able to handle it. Yeah, that makes sense, but in January, when you were putting needles in your arm, you didn't have a meeting on the books with these guys-- it could have been a year, for all you knew. What are you saying? I am trying to establish incontrovertible evidence that you did drugs as part of your cover-- if I submit what you just told me, it's not gonna hold up, Jack. What do you want me to say? ! I did drugs to get in with these people, and I got in with them! And no matter how difficult it's been, I don't use anymore. Look, I'll write it up that way, and maybe it'll fly, but I just think you're gonna have a problem because you never told anyone, not even your partner. That's suspicious. Rae, you know my history. I've had a very difficult time since my wife passed away. If I'd told anyone that I was using drugs to develop a case, they would have misinterpreted, and I couldn't afford that risk. Yeah, well, that's what they're gonna do now. Rae, let's put down that Jack started using heroin in late January, after the first meeting with Salazar was established. I appreciate what you're trying to do, Ryan, but that's not what happened. Just trying to save us all some paperwork. I'm okay with that. I'm not. I started using in December. I've got nothing to hide. This office demands results, and that's what I provide: Results. Fine. Can I get back to work? Not quite yet, Jack. No, it's secure and we have it. It will be as arranged. He'll be here in an hour. Just as long as we have enough time to leave the country before they let this virus out. Please be seated. Five hours ago, I went public with a statement that there was a domestic terror threat, but it had passed. And now it appears that that was premature. Ladies and gentlemen, do we or do we not have a threat of this virus being released? Sir, I'm afraid we can't answer that question with any kind of certainty. What can you tell me, Mr. Hammond? What few leads we have indicate that Michael Amador has the virus and is in Los Angeles. For what purpose, we can't say. Then we have to prepare for defensive action here in Los Angeles. And for that matter, in all of our major cities. Mr. President, you know our position here at homeland security. We think being forthright with the public and making such preparations in the open is the correct course. Again, we have to assess the downside of that course. I have no problem with that, Mr. President, as long as we realize we are working against a clock. I want all departments present to work up an open versus covert containment strategy and report back to me in 30 minutes. In the meantime, I want Health Services to issue guidelines, but only to be distributed internally. That is all. I'll be in my office. David. Give us a second, please, Aaron. Of course, sir. Secret Service just received a phone call from the west Los Angeles police department. Alan Milliken is dead. What? He was found 15 minutes ago in his home. All signs point to a heart attack. It isn't possible. Well, apparently, it is. You told me Sherry was on her way over there about an hour ago. She changed her mind. Made some phone calls from her car. Came straight back here. David, is that what she told you? Yeah. And where is she now? Resting. Aaron, take me to Sherry. Yes, sir. She's right this way. Hasn't your shift ended? I stayed on. I sense it's a difficult day, and I wanted to be here for you. - I appreciate that. - Right in there, sir. Sherry. David. What's wrong? Alan Milliken is dead. What? How? Why don't you tell me? What do you mean? I told you, I didn't go there. I know what you told me. You sat in your car, you made some phone calls, and you came straight here. Yes, and that's the truth. Then you won't mind the police checking your cell phone and the car you used tonight. You know... you asked me to take care of a problem, and I did. If you want the police to check phone logs, then have them check yours first. Because remember? You called me tonight. I am here because of you, David. What happened, Sherry? I went over to the house just to speak to Julia. Alan interrupted us. There was an argument and... he had a heart attack. There's going to be an investigation. You're going to have to tell the truth about this. The truth isn't going to save either one of us. All they're going to hear is that I was there on your behalf to prevent Alan from meddling with your presidency, and that he died from natural causes. Now, how do you think that's going to play out in the New York Times for the next six months? What did you do to Alan? Honestly, David, nothing. Absolutely nothing. Kim, I transferred that feed to your system. Do you want me to pull it up for you now? Yeah I don't think she's going to give them anything. We're going to have to find Marcus Alvers by ourselves. What can I do? Um, I followed up on some of those Asian connections, but in the meantime, there's something I want you to look at. - It's a long shot. - What is it? A list of cities where Marcus Alvers has been in the last three years. Each time only for a couple of days. Maybe he was meeting somebody. Cross it with the other suspects in our database. Let me know what you come up with, okay? Okay. Look, I don't know why we have to go through this again. I already answered that. What is it, Edmunds? Just wanted to give you an update on Nina. Rae, could you pause that? She give us anything new on Alvers? No, other than the probability she knew him personally. She's not cooperating. What are we doing? Richards is working on her now. I think that's a mistake. Why? /I don't think anybody should be in there that hasn't worked with her before, doesn't know what she's capable of. She'll manipulate him. All Richards does is inflict pain. There's no way for her to manipulate him. All right. How much more of this you want to endure, Nina? I think this is about it. - She hit an artery! - Michelle, call medical! No, she's bleeding too much. We got to take her there now! - Tell security! - We need someone from medical. - Interrogation room 819. - Uncuff her. Now! So what did Sherry have to say? That Alan had a heart attack. And you believe her? I'd be a fool to believe anything Sherry says to save herself. But murder? I can't imagine she'd do that. David, we can't allow ourselves to be caught off guard this time. Now we have to assume the worst. Then we'd also have to assume that Julia was somehow involved. What? Whoa, whoa, listen. David, I'm sorry, but Julia's not the same kind of person that Sherry is. When we find out all the facts, we'll proceed from there. I have to go over the morning brief with Jerry. All right. - Hello? - Julia, it's me. Wayne? I just heard about Alan, and I... are you alone? The police are here. I'm was just going to speak with one of the officers. All right, tell me what happened. Wayne, Sherry was here when it happened, but she told me not to tell the police. Julia, I need for you to tell me exactly what happened over there, all right? We were talking with Alan. He got excited, then he started to gasp for air. He gets angina. So you called 911, right? No, no. I-I tried to give him his medication. What do you mean you tried? Sherry stopped me. I went to help Alan, but she grabbed my arm. I just stood there. I-I couldn't, I couldn't move. I... I... - I killed him, Wayne. - Shh, shh, shh. All right, listen to me carefully, all right? I killed him. Call Alan's lawyer, and do not say anything, anything to anyone until he gets there. You understand me? Wayne, could you come down here and help me? No, and please don't call me. I will help you, Julia, I will, but for right now I have to keep my distance, I'm sorry. Excuse me, coming through. - Let's move, right here. - Okay, swing it. Come on, come on, let's go! One, two, three. Carotid's been lacerated. Start a twilight drip. Yes, doctor. Clamp. Clamp. Keep steady pressure. 3-0 silks. 3-0 standing by. More gauze. Gauze. - Got it open. - Okay, clamp it. Here you go, doctor. - Keep the pressure on. - Yes, sir. Let's get some more gauze in here. Okay, she's under. I want you two stationed right here. Do not leave unless you hear directly from me. Okay, Jack, those are all the questions I'm obliged to ask. If you got anything else you want to add, Jack, now would be the time. That's my statement, as it is. My god, Tony. Nina tried to commit suicide. She jammed her neck into Richards' needle, ruptured an artery. Where is she now? She's in the clinic being operated on. Who's with her? Don't worry, Jack, she's sedated. I saw her go under. Who's with her now? Tony, who's with her? ! Damn it! Which way did she go? Lock down the building! This is Ryan Chappelle. Nina Myers is loose in the building. Lock it down, now! Nina, drop the gun and put your hands on your head, now! Kim. What the hell are you doing? You don't want to be any part of this. Shut up. Just turn around and walk away. If you leave now, you won't get hurt. Kim. Don't do it, Nina. I swear to god, I'll shoot you. You won't kill me. Nina, damn it. Kim, back up. Back up. Kim, I want you to go back into CTU, tell them we got Nina. - Dad, listen to me. We need... - Kim, go now! Please, baby, just go. Go. You don't have any more useful information, do you, Nina? I do. No, you don't. Tony Almeida has just informed us that they were unable to confiscate this Cordilla virus in Mexico. This man Amador, where is he now? Latest working theory is that Amador has this virus and is headed back here to Los Angeles. I let you live. Tell me what you know. When Amador does business on the West Coast, he washes his deal through Alvers. - How does Amador contact this Alvers? - l don´t know. I´ve never met him. - Hello? - Marcus, it´s me. I´ll be there in an hour. - You got the virus? - Yes. - Just be ready. - l will be. - l´ve gotta go see Julia Milliken. - No. Don´t go anywhere near her or Alan tonight. - You think I´m scared of you? - Julia. My pills! - No, don´t. - What are you doing? - Don´t. - Sherry. (Sherry) This is your way out. - We killed him. - No. There´s one thing you have to be really clear about when the authorities question you. I was never here. - l got her. - Agent Bauer. I´m Jason Carasone from Division. These men´ll escort the prisoner to CTU. - She doesn´t leave my sight. - You can accompany her in the lead van. (phone rings) This is Carasone. Yeah, he´s right here. Agent Edmunds. It´s a Chloe O´Brian from your office. - Jack, I´ll take another car. - OK. - Yeah, Chloe. - Chase, they found out. - Who found out what? - Angela. They all know she´s your daughter. What? How? The baby-sitter flaked. She had an emergency and brought her here. - You brought Angela in to CTU? - Your sister´s out of town. There is no one else. You have no idea what I´ve been through. OK. Chloe, thank you for covering. I appreciate it, but where is Angela now? She´s downstairs with Marcy until you get back. Did Kim find out? - Chloe, did Kim find out? - Yes. Yes, Kim found out. - How´d she react? - Gosh, Chase, I think she´s kinda pissed. I´m coming back to CTU. I´ll take care of everything. Fine. Here´s the situation. We believe Michael Amador is in possession of the Cordilla virus. We believe he is headed to Los Angeles or is here already. We estimate he has enough of the pathogen to take out a major metropolitan area. Our only lead is Nina Myers, who´s being brought back to CTU right now. She thinks Amador is meeting with a man in Los Angeles by the name of Marcus Alvers. Adam´s done a workup on him. We have some background, but nothing places him definitively in Los Angeles today. That´s it? What about Interpol? What do they have on Alvers? Our data tracking´s a little behind, so we weren´t able to access that report. Why are we behind? We didn´t update the European contact logs while I was down. - Michelle, you were the ranking agent. - l didn´t think Europe was a priority. - Obviously it was. - There was a lot going on at the time. All right. Let´s get back to work. Let´s try to ease up on the mistakes, as there are millions of lives depending on us. Michelle. - (knocking) - Come. I just got off with CTU. - What´s the status on the virus? - lt´s not good. The limited intelligence they have supports their suspicion. - lt´s on its way to Los Angeles? - David, it may already be here. We should prepare in case they target other cities. Our people in the security envelope have been alerted. lt´s being handled. Why don´t you try and go get some rest? I´m on this. (speakerphone) Mr President, Mrs Palmer´s here to see you. Send her in, please. Start waking people up. Set up a conference call with the cabinet members - Homeland Security, fbi, National Health Services. - We´re gonna need everyone on this one. - Yes, sir. Wayne. Sherry, I asked you here to help me, not make things worse. I did not want you going to Alan Milliken´s house. Relax, David. I didn´t go there. - You didn´t go? - No. When we spoke on the phone, you told me it was crucial that you speak to Julia in person. Yes. And I changed my mind. I spoke to her over the phone. - About what? - About Kelly´s disappearance. I asked her if she would check Alan´s cellphone for any recently made calls. - And? - She wouldn´t do it. You don´t take no for an answer, Sherry. What aren´t you telling me? Nothing, David. I swear. What have you been up to if you weren´t at Milliken´s? - Making calls. - You could have made them from here. Yes, but I didn´t. I parked on the side of the road. I started making calls because I didn´t wanna wait. I told you, we have a small window of opportunity here. I wanted to exploit the fact that Milliken may not have had time to cover his tracks when he had someone grab Kelly. All right. - l have other things to attend to. - OK. - ls there anything else? - That´s it. Hello, Nina. Take her to interrogation 819. Yes, sir. - What´s the security configuration? - Don´t worry. We´re handling Nina. - Ryan, you know what she´s capable of. - That´s none of your concern. - l´m sending you to Medical. - l´m fine. - l don´t think you are. - What´s this about? We found evidence you´ve been injecting heroin. Tell me I´m off here, Jack. Tell me I´m wrong. - l didn´t think so. - Ryan, I haven´t missed a step. I´m fine. I have to cover my ass. I need to get you checked out. You´re wasting time. - Kim. - Yeah. I thought you´d wanna know your dad´s back. - What about Chase? - He´s a few minutes behind him. Thank you. - Kim. - Dad. Oh, God. Hi. - She´s here. - l know, sweetheart. I know. Look, I have to debrief Chappelle. I´ll see you in a minute, OK? Dad, I know about your drug problem. Why didn´t you come to me with this? Come here. Come here. I´m sorry, baby. I´m sorry. I was embarrassed. And it wasn´t your problem, and it still isn´t. I didn´t want you to worry. Well, is it over? No, not exactly. I think I´m gonna have to go into a programme, get some help. - l´m so sorry. - lt´s OK. Look, Chappelle wants me to go into the clinic and get checked out. We´ll talk about this later, OK? Don´t worry. - l love you. - l love you, too. Jack. I´m glad you´re back. It´s been difficult without you. Thanks, Chloe. - Chase. - Yeah? I need to talk to you about the baby. Why don´t you take a few minutes and then meet me in my office? Mr Milliken? Mr Milliken? Oh, my God. Mrs Milliken! Come quickly! Quickly! Hey. How´s the hand? It´s fine. How´d Chappelle find out? I don´t know. lt doesn´t really matter. What´s going on? Almeida´ll interrogate Nina. I´ll follow it from a feed. Good. Make sure Tony puts double security on the doors. Get back to me as soon as she gives you anything. - Agent Bauer, keep pressure here. - Sure. Thank you. Jack, you´re about to find something out about me that´s not gonna make you happy. - What are you talking about? - Excuse me. Do you mind? I´ve got a daughter. - A daughter? - Her mother dropped her off and she split. - lt´s a long story. - Does Kim know about this? Yeah. From you? I haven´t had the chance to talk to her myself yet. You square this with her, Chase. You understand me? You just make it right. And get back to me as soon as Nina gives you anything. I will. - Are we up yet? - Yep. Video´s piped in. Voice analysis. - Vitals. Transcription. All set. - Nick, do you copy? - l read you. - We´re ready to go. Recording to hard drive now. - So Tony´s doing this? - Yeah. is that gonna be weird for you? - What do you mean? - Didn´t he and Nina go out? Yeah. - We set? - Yeah. All right. I want you to do a high res on her eyes. She´s tired. We might be able to pick up a tell. OK. - So are we all right? - Yeah, we´re fine. All right. Let´s do this. I got the high res on monitor two. Tony. Didn´t know I was gonna see you today. You know what we want. We need to find Michael Amador before he unloads the virus. I already told Jack everything I know. I want you to tell me. First Jack, now you. What does that remind me of? You told Jack that Amador might try to contact a Marcus Alvers? So, where do we look for Alvers? It´s a nice ring. Who´s the lucky girl? Hope you did a background check cos you don´t wanna make the same mistake twice. You´re going back to prison. There´s a good chance you´ll be executed as a traitor. You know if you cooperate you may be able to save your own life, but you´re stalling. Which means you know something and think there´s a play you can make, only now´s not the right time. Very incisive. I hope your wife appreciates that about you. Why don´t you tell me about Alvers? All I know is that he works only with Amador. I don´t know him personally. All we´ve been able to dig up on him are a few random medical records under one of his known aliases. He had an mri on one of his knees. There´s a prescription for antibiotics. Treated for hiv. (rapid bleeping) Her pulse is spiking. Someone hasn´t been using protection. She´s probably had sex with him. See, Nina, my colleagues in the next room are telling me that something in those medical records concerns you. I´m guessing it´s not the knee. (rock music) Marcus. Michael. - How was your trip? - Interesting. I still don´t understand why you risked so much in Mexico, why you didn´t come here directly. 240 million dollars made it worth the risk. What about Nina? If she wasn´t killed by the bomb, I´m sure her buyers took care of her once they found out she didn´t deliver the virus. Either way, she´s out of the picture. I hope so. She can point to both of us. We´ll be long gone before anyone starts looking. Kim. - l know we haven´t talked since I got back. - No, we haven´t. I know what you must be thinking. Give me a chance to explain. I don´t know what to think. Look, I´m happy that you´re OK, but this thing... You have a baby, Chase. We´ve been together more than three months and you kept this secret. - Who´s the mother? Where does she fit in? - That´s what I wanna talk about. - l didn´t know until a month ago. - How could you not know? Angela´s mother and I went out last year. lt´s over. And when it ended, she never told me she was pregnant. She calls a month ago and tells me she has a baby and that I´m the father, and that she´s in trouble and she can´t handle it. I was afraid to let people find out. I was afraid it was gonna mess us up. - But you told Chloe. - Chloe and my sister have been helping me. She´s a good friend. Excuse me. Chase, you wanted me to let you know when Angela woke up. - Thank you. - Sure. Kim, I´m just as confused as you are. But all I know is that I love you, and I´m falling in love with Angela, too, and I need to make this work. Go on. Hey. - What´s happening with Nina? - They´re getting something. The connection between Alvers and Nina might be deep. You better hope she´s not spinning your wheels cos she can manipulate our protocol. - Tony knows what he´s doing. - Fine. I need to get together with Chloe. I need everything she´s got on Amador. - Not yet. - Ryan, you´re wasting my time. I humoured you with the physical. We both know there´ll be trace amounts of opiates, but enough is enough. Rae Plachecki from the inspector general´s office is here to talk to you. - This is not the time. - Actually, it is. You´ll talk to her, then we´ll evaluate whether you can go back to work or not. Come on. Rae Plachecki, this is Jack Bauer. You know the drill. I´m gonna ask you some questions, but I´m on your side. We wanna establish that this heroin addiction was a necessary part of your cover. It was necessary to maintain my cover. Are we done now? Sit down, Jack. This is Rae Plachecki. The time is 2.31am. lnterrogation of Jack Bauer, director of field ops, CTU. Ryan Chappelle is present. Jack, tell us how you established your cover with Ramón Salazar. I first came in contact with the Salazars approximately two years ago. They were an up-and-coming narcotic cartel in Mexico. (Tony) So when did you meet Amador? Did you know him when you were working at CTU? Tell me something, Nina. What kind of a deal do you think you´re gonna cut? You´ve betrayed everybody you know, including me. You murdered Jack´s wife. You helped terrorists smuggle a nuclear bomb into this country. You´re helping to unleash a deadly virus into the general population. Help me understand this. What do you want? What is it you get out of being a mass murderer? Your neck is bleeding. - Dalton, what have you got? - So far the only reactions are subliminal. If she won´t talk we need to be plugged into her vitals. We can take her to seven, do a passive-response test. Seven´s not secure enough. She stays here. - Where´s Richards? - He´s waiting. Let´s bring him in. (Michelle) Send Darren in. Nina, I don´t think you´ve met Darren Richards. He joined us after you left. Hello, Darren. Don´t take it personally. He doesn´t talk much. (Rae) Something´s not connecting up for me, Jack. You weren´t in with the Salazars until early February, but the first time you started using was late December. That´s six weeks of shooting up for the benefit of no one. Am I missing something? I was trying to pass as ajunkie. I wanted to be prepared. - What do you mean, prepared? - The Salazars lived in the drug world. If I couldn´t handle the narcotics, they´d have known I was a cop and killed me. - l needed to be able to handle it. - That makes sense. But in January, when you were injecting, you didn´t have a meeting on the books. - lt could have been a year for all you knew. - What are you saying? I am trying to establish evidence that you did drugs as part of your cover. If I submit this, it´s not gonna hold up. What do you want me to say? ! I did drugs to get in with these people and I got in with them! No matter how difficult it´s been, I don´t use any more. Look, I´ll write it up that way and maybe it´ll fly, but I think you´ll have a problem because you never told anyone, not even your partner. That´s suspicious. Rae, you know my history. I´ve had a very difficult time since my wife passed away. If I told anyone I was using drugs to develop a case, they would have misinterpreted it. I couldn´t afford that risk. Yeah, well, that´s what they´re gonna do now. Rae, let´s put down that Jack started using heroin in late January, after the first meeting with Salazar was established. I appreciate what you´re trying to do, but that´s not what happened. Just trying to save us all some paperwork. - l´m OK with that. - l´m not. I started using in December. I´ve got nothing to hide. This office demands results and that´s what I provide - results. - Fine. - Can I get back to work? Not quite yet, Jack. (speaks Russian) Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say 'Ay'... and I will take thy word. Yet if thou swear'st thou may prove false. At lovers' perjuries, they say, Jove laughs. O gentle Romeo... If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully; Or if thou think'st I am too quickly won, I'll frown, and be perverse... and say thee nay, so thou wilt woo... Shakespeare doesn't write many prologues... but he does here in "Romeo and Juliet". The fearful passage of their "death-marked-love". Those syllables are very, very strongly accented in that line. We know that the play is heading for the tomb... but then we all are. So there is a kind of quintessential, archetypal... intensity about the play that I think makes popular. It's accessible. It's night. Lovers thoughts are filled with wild imaginings. The encounter of Romeo and Juliet at Juliet's balcony... is a transforming experience, a revelation... that most of us experience perhaps only once, or twice, in our lives. For many, this scene... arguably the most famous in all of Shakespeare's works... contains the heart and core of the play. It touches upon the central questions: what engenders love and hate... driving the bearers of those emotions to such extremes of action. It is my lady, O, it is my love. O that she knew she were! She speaks, yet she says nothing. 'Tis not to me she speaks. Two of the fairest stars in all heaven... having some business... do entreat her eyes to twinkle in their spheres till they return. I think the balcony scene is notjust the most famous scene in the play. If you say to somebody; "What's your image of'Romeo and Juliet'?" They usually think of a balcony with the two lovers. That's what's on the cigar labels after all. But the balcony scene is the scene which is a point of change... for the two people we are most interested in... and it has a very interesting shape to it. Romeo and Juliet both begin... very tentative and she in particular, becomes clearer and clearer... about declaring herself in the course of the scene. The balcony scene is of course the central scene of the play... the heart of the play, yes I do think it is. The lovers only really meet five times in the play anyway. The Capulet party scene, the balcony scene itself... the little scene at Lawrence's cell... the dawn parting and the final meeting... not quite simultaneous, in the tomb. But, yes the fervor, the commitment... the romanticism which we're also allowed to smile at... is the distillation of the mood of the play... in the balcony scene itself, I think. O Romeo, Romeo... wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name... or if thou wilt not... be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet. Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this? 'Tis but thy name that is my enemy. Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's a Montague? It is not hand, nor foot... nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose... ny any other word would smell as sweet. So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called... retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Juliet's marvelous practicality... and Romeo's, I suppose, utterly sincere... romantic absurdity in the scene... is tremendously enjoyable, I think. "The orchard walls are high and hard to climb." "With love's light wings id I o'erperch these walls." Again, there's a lovely acting choice there. Is he slightly tongue-in-cheek as he comes back... with all these high romantic answers... or is he wonderfully youthfully naive with all these high romantic answers. How cam'st thou hither, tell me, and wherefore? The orchard walls are high and hard to climb... and the place death, considering who thou art... if any of my kinsmen find thee here. With love's light wings I o'erperch these walls... for stony limits cannot hold love out... and what love can do, that dares love attempt. Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me. If they do see thee... they will murder thee. Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye than twenty of their swords. Look thou but sweet, and I am proof against their enmity. "My kinsmen will kill thee if they find thee here"... "Alas, there lies more peril in thine eyes" he says to her. They're wonderfully set off against each other, I think. Of course when she lets go... with romantic commitment... itjust wipes him off the board. "My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep. The more I give to thee The more I have, for both are infinite." What a wonderful sentence. What a wonderful sentence. Yep, the core and heart of the play, surely, surely. O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied? What satisfaction canst thou have tonight? Th'exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine. I gave thee mine before thou didst request it... and yet I would it were to give again. Wouldst thou with draw it? For what purpose, love? But to be frank and give it thee again. And yet I wish but for the thing I have. My bounty is boundless as the sea, my love as deep. The more I give to thee the more I have, for both are infinite. Juliet is only just on the threshold of womanhood... a vulnerable child-like angel, wooed by a teenager... who is completely defenseless against the onslaught of emotions... he has never experienced until now. But should such unfettered emotions... combined with such youthfulness... simply be accepted without a second thought? Has Shakespeare issued a challenge and made us ask ourselves... should we feel uncomfortable at the extreme youth of the lovers? I think that this is a question whose relevance today is indisputable... and one which we must confront. Modern audiences should certainly feel uncomfortable... at the extreme youth of Juliet and so should Elizabethan audiences. If anybody tells you that 14 was a normal marriage age... in Shakespeare's England, don't believe them. Average marriage ages for women were 18/19 at the time this play was written. O, bid me leap, rather than marry Paris... from off the battlements of any tower... or walk in thievish ways... or bid me lurk where serpents are. Or bid me go into a new-made grave and hide me with a dead man in his tomb. Things that, to hear them told, have made me tremble... and I will do it without fear or doubt... to live an unstained wife to my sweet love. Shakespeare wants the youthful commitment... the first love feeling from this play. He also wants pure sacrifices. These two utterly innocent young people... are the victims of their parents boring strife and wickedness. And sacrifices have to be pure. It's a long religious tradition... and Shakespeare wants that and makes certain that he gets it. But I think it's important, first of all... that they're young and impetuous and not yet experienced... and therefore only discovering how to deal with something... that neither of them really knew about before. So you've got that sort of awkwardness that seems very real. Although the word 'teenagers' has recently been invented... it looks like this is the Elizabethan equivalent of'teenagers'... in the sense of trying to work out how they are themselves... in relation to what people think they ought to do. And then as their relationship progresses very rapidly... to a marriage which they ascent to... they are given the benefit of clergy in that respect... and then to their first night together and we see the aftermath of that. It's as though... the whole of sexual maturing and experiencing and understanding... has been put on a kind of roller coaster. It's much too fast... and that's both exciting and slightly appalling... and the fact that the people are young adds to that. Wilt thou be gone? It is not yet near day. It was the nightingale, and not the lark... that pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear. Nightly she sings on yond pomegranate tree. Believe me, love, it was the nightingale. It was the lark, the herald of the morn; No nightingale. Look, love... what envious streaks do lace the severing sky in yonder East. 'The good die young' is a phrase that Shakespeare... may well have had in mind when plotting the demise of Mercutio. And how well he knew the effect... of the merciless and senseless destruction of young life. Mercutio the lover of life... confidant, loved and admired... clever Mercutio, the philosopher, cut down, because... ironically Romeo wanted to prevent him being killed. What then is the effect of Mercutio's murder on the play's action? Good Mercutio! Away Tybalt! With the death... that is brutal, accidental, messy... a sort of shuddering... surprise in the play. The play has looked forward from its prologue... to the death of the lovers in the tomb. We're expecting that, that's part... of the satisfaction, of expectation in the play. But the death of Mercutio is a horrible shock. - Art thou hurt? - Ay, ay... a scratch, a scratch; - 'tis enough. - Courage, man. The hurt cannot be much. No, 'tis not so deep as a well... nor so wide as a church door... but 'tis enough. 'Twill serve. Ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man. Course he's very bawdy as well, Mercutio. He can't even tell the time without making a bawdy joke. You remember where the hand of the dial is when the clock reaches noon. So all of those things are tremendously attractive in the part. He gets the superb set speech about Queen Map... which is powered by a kind of... imaginative energy that one doesn't find anywhere else in the play, I think. And also he gets... one of the best death lines puns in all drama, doesn't he? "Ask for me tomorrow and you shall find me a grave man". What a way to go! What a way to go! Romeo thinks it's all for the best when he tries to stop the fight... and he's the direct cause of the fight going wrong and Mercutio being killed. And then when he turns on Tybalt, he's in an absolute fury. Very often on stage that's played very savagely... because Romeo is beside himself. Now, Tybalt... take the 'villain' back again That late thou gavest me. For Mercutio's soul is but a little way above our heads... staying for thine to keep him company. Either thou or I, or both, must go with him. One of the particularly attractive things about Romeo... is that he turns himself into a complete prat sometimes. When he's in an agony of despair and he's lying on the ground... weeping and wailing and failing and... I've seen performances of that where you just think... the Friar really ought tojust slap him and tell him to pull himself together. The Friar says so but doesn't actually use the violence. And then the nurse comes in and then you get a sense that... everything is falling below a level of tragic dignity... - and I think that's very good. - Without the Friar's intervention... Romeo and Juliet would probably have been miserably alive... instead of immortalized in death. Should he have attempted to play God? I know that as an actor I was made painfully aware by Shakespeare... of the dilemma he poses even more powerfully in later plays. Should the Friar have followed his conscience... as I think we all would have done? Or should he keep within the rules of the society he administers to? And let events take their own course? His role is pivotal in the action: is he the moral center of the play? Get thee to thy love, as was decreed. Ascend her chamber; hence and comfort her. But look thou not stay not till the watch be set... for then thou canst not pass to Mantua, where thou shalt live... till we can find a time to blaze your marriage... reconcile your friends... beg pardon of the Prince, and call thee back... with twenty hundred thousand times morejoy... than thou wen'st forth in lamentation. Two ways of playing the Friar: a well-meaning... fussy old bungler... or somebody serious and gritty... who genuinely does want to do something... to resolve the situation which is destroying Verona: the family feud. This marriage might, he thinks... bring the households closer to pure love. So do I, I myself incline to the second reading of the part... but you can see the first version well played in all sorts... of stagings of the play. I don't find all that much mileage... in the idea of blaming Friar Lawrence for what happens in "Romeo and Juliet". Tomorrow night look that thou lie alone. Let not the Nurse lie with thee in thy chamber. Take thou this vial... being then in bed, and this distilling liquor drink thou off. So I think that the Friar is a pivotal character... not because he's a guide to what is the right view of things... but because he's an indication of how easy it is... for right thinking not to turn out right in the end. But the only two adults in the play who know what's happening... with their affection for these people they still regard as children. "Stand up, stand up and you be a man"... with the implication that you may not be it. It's almost as tough she has come to smack his bottom for being so childish. There's a feeling of that about it. Stand up, stand up, stand and you be a man... for Juliet's sake, for her sake, rise and stand. Why should you fall in so deep an O? - Nurse. - Ah sir, ah sir, death's the end of all. Spak'st thou of Juliet? Where is she, and how doth she... what says my concealed lady to our cancelled love? O, she says nothing, but weeps and weeps... and now falls on her bed, and then starts up... and "Tybalt" cries, and then on Romeo calls... and then falls down again. At the end of the play the Prince says to the Friar: "We still have known thee for a holy man." Which implies that he will be pardoned. But the Friar has still failed to secure what he wanted... except by very extreme means. The Friar wanted to reconcile the two warring houses by the marriage. Well, it happened but not the right way. This was always meant to be a tragedy... and Friar Lawrence is trying to turn it into a comedy. Death of evil leaves us undeniably feeling thatjustice has been done. But the death of beauty, of love, ofjoy? We rail against it and Shakespeare knows... that in order for humanity to change its bigotry... intolerance and blind injustice... events must be shattering to the human mind and spirit. He gives us twin suicides. Does this fact secure the play's mythic status? Three deaths. Young people whose only crime was to love too strongly. Paris must die for love of Juliet... she and Romeo for the love of one another. Their suicides side by side in the cold vault... when they should have been warm in one another's embrace... leaves us horrified at the emotional bankruptcy of those... who should have protected them from themselves. The death scene absolutely... fulfils expectations and gives the play... its necessary shape and indeed its mythic status. We know from the prologue... that this is a "death-marked love". We know throughout the play... that this marriage in the tomb is where the play is heading. O my love, my wife! Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath. Hath had no power yet upon thy beauty. Thou art not conquered. Beauty's ensign yet is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks... and death's pale flag is not advanced there. The death scene of the two lovers is one of the most famous ones in Shakespeare. And it's interesting to have a play with that and the balcony scene. Iconic scenes, scenes people know even if they don't know the play very well. The lovers speak slightly differently in the scene in the tomb. Romeo speaks more elaborately. He has the extraordinary personification... of death as a rival lover. Shall I believe that unsubstantial death is amorous... and keeps thee here in dark to be his Paramour? For fear of that I still will stay with thee. Time and time again through the play... the idea of death as Juliet's lover is presented. When Romeo arrives at the tomb... he is talking about her beauty... which is still unspoiled... by, as he takes it, as he thinks, I mean the irony is that... of course she's still beautiful because she isn't dead. But he thinks that death has got her in that tomb, in that grave... to be his "paramour". That insubstantial dead is amorous. It's a strange and strong disturbing idea right through the play... but "Romeo and Juliet" is operating in something of this territory... it seems to me, throughout. "Thus with a kiss I die", Romeo's last words. And the last action of Juliet... is to push the dagger into her body. And the dagger as a phallic symbol is a constant in European Literature. The consummation of love in the grave... is where the play has been going from the beginning and it's where it ends. There is no other destination, I think the mythic status of the play... depends on that disturbing equation. O churl! Drunk all, and left no friendly drop to help me after? I will kiss thy lips. Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, to make me die with a restorative. Thy lips are warm. But you know, to meet, to love... to be separated by a horrible accident... to imagine that you are going to meet again and to die. I mean, what more typical version of the human journey... do you want than the story of this play. It's all there. O happy dagger... This is thy sheath! There rust... and let me die. Here in Stratford upon Avon, the home of William Shakespeare... it is very difficult to escape hearing the name of Hamlet. Hamlet mugs and tee-shirts are best sellers in the gift shops... quotations from the play adorn tea-towels... diaries, pens, shop signs, books. The focus on this play by the tourist trade, isjust one indication... of how important Hamlet has traditionally been, to western culture. Apart from the Bible, Hamlet is the most quoted work... in the English language. Hamlet is a young prince, driven to despair... by his mother's hasty marriage to Claudius, his uncle. Hamlet subsequently learns, from his father's ghost... that Claudius is the man who murdered his father. The story of the play deals with Hamlets vow for revenge... and the complexities of his relationships with others... because of this vow. The exact date at which Hamlet was written is open to conjecture. It was entered into the stationers register in 1602. But it is known to have been acted in one form or another... as early as 1599. The uncertainty surrounding the earliest performances... is mirrored in the choice of text. There are three versions of Hamlet available to us from the period... as a matter of fact the first quarter was probably published by an actor... who had wrongly remembered the lines of Shakespeare's play. We're on much firmer ground with the two other versions. The second published quarto, billed as a true and perfect copy... is almost twice as long as the first... with clearly Shakespearean poetry. And then there is the first folio of 1623. This doesn't include 225 lines which are present in the second quarto... but it adds another seventy. The play is regularly performed here at the Royal Shakespeare company... and countless academic papers on Hamlet are researched... written and discussed, at Stratford's Shakespeare center... and Shakespeare Institute. Dr. Russell Jackson has worked as textural advisor... on several Shakespearean films, including Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet. Prof. Wells has been director of the Shakespeare Institute for many years... and has written countless books and articles on Shakespeare. Who better than these experts to attempt to define for us... why Hamlet has become one of the most influential pieces of world literature. Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio. A fellow of infinitejest, of most excellent fancy. He hath boor me on his back a thousand times... and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now, your gambols, your songs... your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table on a roar? It is amazing how influential Hamlet has become. It has been widely used by other artists and is so popular in so many countries. It is a very complex matter of what has caused that... but I think fundamentally... it has the capacity to acquire mythic status... it has become one of the myths of the Western world... and I think the most important reason for that is... the preoccupation with death quite simply. Hamlet has stayed popular and Hamlet has been... so much performed, so much read and so much debated and so much filmed. Because the raw material of Hamlet has in it... something to appeal to everybody. The story is exciting, the fact that it deals with... what you could call a personal problem in the context of the family... and beyond that in the context of politics and the kingdom... means that it has lots of ways of appealing to people... from different backgrounds for different purposes. Tell him his pranks have been too broad to bear with... and that your grace hath screened and stood between much heat and him. I'll silence me even here. I pray you, be round with him. If I had to say what Hamlet is about in a single phrase... which is a foolish thing to do... nevertheless, if I had to do it I would say it is about reactions to death. It has the great symbol of the ghost to start with... the ghost is the great question mark hanging over all human existence... the idea of another world, where were things started, where things go to. The ghost is ever present in Hamlet's mind and in the audiences' minds... and the play is constantly concerned with what we do about death... what Hamlet does about death, the way the ghost died... the way that Hamlet inflicts death on Polonius... but also contingent deaths like... the death of Ophelia in her madness for example... and I think that the constant preoccupation of the play... with the way that people react to death... is to me the most fundamental reason why it has been... such an influential work of art. To be... or not to be... that is the question: whether 'tis nobler in the mind... to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Or to take arms against a sea of troubles... and by opposing... end them. To die... to sleep. No more: and by a sleep to say we end the heartache... and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep. To sleep, perchance to dream. Ay, there's the rub. For in that sleep of death what dreams may come... When we have shuffled off this mortal coil... Must give us pause. There's the respect that makes calamity of so long life. For who would bear the whips and scorns of time... The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely... The pangs of despised love... the law's delay, the insolence of office... and the spurns that patient merit of the unworthy takes... when he himself might his quietus make... with a bare bodkin? Who would these fardels bear, to grunt and sweat under a weary life... but that the dread of something after death... the undiscovered country... from whose bourn no traveler returns... puzzles the will... and makes us rather bear those ills we have... than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience... does make cowards of us all... and thus the native hue of resolution... is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought... and enterprise is of great pitch and moment... with this regard their currents turn awry... and lose the name of action. At one point in the play... the villainous character that I play, Claudius... says that revenge should have no bounds. The issue of revenge comes back again and again... to plague the tortured soul of Hamlet. Time and again he hesitates. Just what are the factors restraining Hamlet from taking his revenge? If we had to think about what stops him, the most cynical answer to that... would be that Shakespeare wants to drag out the play, he has five acts to fill. And that is not an entirely flippant suggestion I think... because Shakespeare did want to write about a lot of things... he didn't want the play to end until he had had a chance... to write about all the things that are in Hamlet... but I think fundamentally it must come down to scruples, to conscience. Hamlet refers to conscience. Also I think the fact that... he only finally acts as by instinct... he needs to come together all his impulses... both logical and illogical, emotional and irrational. They all need to come together within him... before he can do the killing without feeling that he has betrayed himself... that he has killed something important within himself. That is fundamentally why he doesn't kill Claudius until the very end. One of the things about revenge in Hamlet... is that a lot of people want to take it... and there is an extraordinary scene in which Claudius... who is about to be the victim of Hamlet's quest for vengeance... is urging someone else to take vengeance on Hamlet. Revenge should have no bounds. Well, revenge isn't a simple matter. If you've got any conscience in the kind of world that Hamlet is in... if you have any belief in God then you know that God forbids revenge. 'Vengeance is mine' sayeth the Lord 'and I will repay'. When for example he has the opportunity to kill Claudius in the prayer scene... 'Now might I do it'. He could do it then... but he doesn't do it then because it hasn't all come together... he is not all anxious to do it then. The complete man would knock me behind it... he would just be doing it in a colder, calculated way. Now might I do it pat, now he is praying. And now I'll do't. And so he goes to heaven. And so am I revenged. That would be scanned: A villain kills my father, and for that I, his sole son... do this same villain send to heaven. O, this is hire and salary, not revenge. No. Up, sword... and know thou a more horrid hent: When he is drunk asleep, or in his rage... or in the incestuous pleasure of his bed, at gaming, swearing... or about some act that has no relish of salvation in't... then trip him... that his heels may kick at heaven... and that his soul may be as damn'd and black as hell, whereto it goes. My mother stays. This physic but prolongs thy sickly days. The dark unspoken undercurrents in the relationship... between Gertrude and Hamlet, occupy the very heart of this great work. To an extent Shakespeare might have been thought... to have prefigured the work of Sigmund Freud. Freud, in later years, sought to unravel the part played by sexual feelings... in the complex relationship between any mother and son. Psycho-analytical critics have argued that such oedipal jealousy... might be at the root of Hamlet's disturbing description... of his mothers marriage. But is that really the case? Now, mother, what's the matter? Hamlet, thou hast thy father much offended. Mother, you have my father much offended. Come, come, you answer with an idle tongue. Go, go, you question with a wicked tongue. - Why, how now, Hamlet? - What's the matter now? - Have you forgot me? - No, by the rood, not so. You are the queen, your husband's brother's wife... And, would it were not so, you are my mother. Nay, then, I'll set those to you that can speak. You shall not budge: till I set you up a glass. Where you may see the inmost part of you. What wilt thou do? Thou wilt not murder me? Help, help, ho! How now, a rat? Dead for a ducat, dead! - O me, what hast thou done? - Nay, I know not. Is it the king? When Hamlet gets so upset with his mother in the closet scene... he is already in a pretty disturbed state. He has after all just killed... he has committed the act of killing for the first time in his life. Thou wretched, rash, intruding fool, farewell. I took thee for thy better. Peace! Leave wringing of your hands. Let me wring your heart. For so I shall if it be made of penetrable stuff. If damn'd custom have not brazed it so that it be proof... and bulwark against sense. What have I done that thou dar'st wag thy tongue in noise so rude against me? Such an act that blurs the grace and blush of modesty... calls virtue hypocrite, makes marriage vows as false as dicers oaths. Ay me, what act, that roars so loud and thunders in the index? Look here upon this picture, and on this... See what a grace was seated on this brow... Hyperion's curls, the front of Jove himself... An eye like Mars, to threaten and command... This was your husband. Look you now what follows. Here is your husband... like a mildewed ear blasting his wholesome brother. Have you eyes? Could you on this fair mountain leave to feed... and batten on this moor? Have you eyes? You cannot call it love, for at your age the heyday in the blood is tame... it's humble, and waits upon thejudgment. And whatjudgment would step from this to this? O Shame, where is thy blush? When Hamlet deals with women... he to most people's minds deals with them very badly. He deals badly with Ophelia... and he certainly deals roughly with his mother. In what he says about his mother's second marriage... her relationship with Claudius, there is something so vividly... graphically sexual that a lot of people have found that... so disturbing they need to find psychological explanations for it. Good night: but go not to my uncle's bed. Assume a virtue if you have it not. Refrain tonight... and that shall lend a kind of easiness To the next abstinence. What shall I do? Not this, by no means, that I bid you do: Let the bloat king tempt you again to bed... Pinch wanton on your cheek, call you his mouse... or for a pair of reechy kisses or paddling in your neck... with his damned fingers... Make you to ravel all this matter out... that I essentially am not in madness... but mad in craft. Be thou assured... if words be made of breath and breath of life... I have no life to breathe what thou hast said to me. I must to England; you know that? Alack, I had forgot. 'Tis so concluded on. This fellow set me packing. Some actors make him violent physically with his mother and... that isn'tjust some kind of generalized misogyny or what have you... it seems to me to be something in Hamlet that he is brought face to face with. I think Shakespeare shows us that his own reactions to that killing... are to throw him into emotional turmoil. I don't myself think it drives him mad... but it drives him perilously close to madness. He certainly is in a very pent up state... when he gets to his mother's closet... and of course it is exacerbated by the appearance of the ghost... so I think when he is talking to his mother... all his pent up feelings come to the surface. It is a most brilliantly written scene the way that Shakespeare... contrives language to give the impression... that we are actually in the mind of a man... is a brilliant technical feat. Save me and hover o'er me with your wings. You heavenly guards! What would your gracious figure? Alas, he's mad! Do you not come your tardy son to chide... that, lapsed in time and passion, lets go by... Th' important acting of your dread command? - O, say! - Do not forget. This visitation is but to whet thy almost blunted purpose. But look, amazement on thy mother sits. O, step between her and her fighting soul. Conceit in weakest bodies strongest works. Speak to her. - Ho is't with you, Lady? - How is't with you... That you do bend your eye on vacancy... And with th' incorporal air do hold discourse? - Whereon do you look? - On him, on him. Look you how pale he glares. His form and cause conjoined... preaching to stones, would make them capable. Do not look at me, lest with this piteous action you convert... My stern effects; then what I have to do will want true colour... - tears perchance for blood. - o whom do you speak this? - Do you see nothing there? - Nothing at all; yet all that I see. - Nor did you nothing hear? - No, nothing but ourselves. Look how it steals away. My father, in his habit as he lived. Look, even now as the leaves out the portal. This is the very coinage of your brain. This bodiless creation ecstasy is very cunning in. Hamlet as we have seen treats his mother harshly... he's equally harsh to Ophellia, the young lady he supposedly loves. And this contributes to her eventual madness and suicide. Can his treatment of her in any way bejustifiable? Soft you now, the fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons be all my sins remembered. Good my lord, how does your honour for this many a day? I humbly thank you, well... I don't think Hamlet's behavior towards Ophelia can bejustified... but hardly anything Hamlet does is capable of a simplejustification. He is never completely right, I don't think in anything that he does. Towards Ophelia he behaves quite brutally... but on the other hand he thinks he has been betrayed... and as far as she is concerned in the course of the scene... he seems to betray and reject her conclusively. I never gave you aught. My honoured lord you know right well you did... And with them words of so sweet breath composed... As made these things more rich. Their perfume lost. Take these again: for to the noble mind rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - Are you honest? - My lord? - Are you fair? - What means your lordship? That if you be honest and fair, your honesty should admit... no discourse to your beauty. Could beauty, my lord, have better commerce than with honesty? Ay, truly, for the power of beauty will sooner transform... honesty from what it is to bawd... than the force of honesty can translate beauty to his likeness. This was sometime a paradox... but now the time gives it proof. I did love you once. Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so. I think one may say that Hamlet's treatment of Ophelia... is understandable given his own condition, given his state of mind... the state of mind of somebody who has recently, very recently... experienced the murder of his father in mysterious circumstances... which he is desperately trying to unravel combined... with the recent remarriage of his mother... to the person that we know at least is the murderer of his father. He is in a terrible state of mind. Go thee to a nunnery and quickly too. Or, if thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool... for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them. To a nunnery, go, and quickly too. Farewell. O heavenly powers, restore him! I have heard of your paintings too, well enough... God gives you one face, and you make yourselves another: you jig, you amble, you lisp, you nick-name God's creatures... you call your wantonness your ignorance. I'll have no more on't; it made me mad. I say, we shall have no more marriages: those that are married, all but one... shall live; the rest shall stay as they are. To a nunnery, go. I think another facet of Ophelia though... is in the overall large design of the play. The play is partly about reactions to death. Hamlet reacts to his father's death... Ophelia reacts to her father's death. She and Laertes react to her father's death. Now the death of Polonious causes... his daughter to go mad... and it causes his son to seek revenge. Now in a sense they polarize out... two aspects of Hamlet's reactions to his father's death. Hamlet nearly goes mad... Hamlet certainly wants to take revenge... but Hamlet is a more complex figure... so in a sense Laertes and Ophelia... are simplified portrayals of certain aspects of Hamlet himself I think. Th' expectancy and rose of the fair state... The glass of fashion and the mould of form... Th' observed of all observers, quite, quite down! And I... of ladies most deject and wretched, that sucked the honey of his music vows... Now see that noble and most sovereign reason... like sweet bellsjangled out of tune and harsh... That unmatched form and feature of blown youth blasted with ecstasy. O, woe is me... T' have seen what I have seen, see what I see! Although any description of the action of the play... gives the impression of a series of grim events... there is actually a great deal of humor contained within it. There is this tension between the comic touches... and the obsessions with death account for the plays unusual popularity. Here's a skull now hath lain you i'th' earth three-and-twenty years. - Whose was it? - A whoreson mad fellow's it was. - Whose do you think it was? - Nay, I know not. A pestilence on him for a mad rogue! A' poured a flagon of rhenish on my head once. This same skull, sir, was Yorick's skull, the king'sjester. - This? - E'en that. Let me see. It is remarkable that Hamlet is the funniest of all Shakespeare's tragedies. The climatic comedy of the play I suppose... is in the graveyard scene which itself is a paradox, isn't it? You have a really funny character except that he is digging graves... for dead people to be buried in, but that is only one aspect of... a sequence of comedy which runs throughout the play. Shakespeare is constantly concerned in other words... to permit a comic perspective on the tragic action he is portraying. As thus: Alexander died, Alexander was buried... Alexander returneth to dust, the dust is earth... from earth we make loam, and why from that loam... to which noble Alexander was converted... may we not find it stopping a beer-barrel? lmperous Caesar dead and turned to clay... might stop a hole to keep the wind away. O, that earth which kept the world in awe... might patch a wall t' expel the winter's flaw! We should also remember that the most comic figure in the play is Hamlet. Hamlet is a wit. He is an intensely intelligent figure who is a satirist... and he satirizes for example Polonius. In the graveyard scene he has more abstract satire of lawyers... when he is talking there. He is the intelligent character of the play... and intelligence often takes the form of wit... in the capacity to send people up quite frankly. I have heard that guilty creatures... sitting at a play... have, by the very cunning of the scene, been struck so to the soul... that presently they have proclaimed their malefactions. For murder, though it have no tongue... will speak with most miraculous organ. Hamlet we might say in a happier life would have been... the hero of one of Shakespeare's romantic comedies. He is the only one of Shakespeare's tragic heroes... who might have been the hero of comedy, if circumstances had been better to him. And I think that this is part of the attraction of the play too... that Hamlet is an intensely attractive man. I don't mean necessarily physically. He can be so physically... but he is attractive in the sense that he is... introspective which has a sympathetic side to it... but also that he is so articulate, he may be... feeling himself to be inarticulate, but his inarticulateness itself... is explored in marvelously articulate language by himself... and this draws the audience to Hamlet in quite an exceptional way I think... so that the comedy within Hamlet... is in itself an important aspect of the comic treatment of Hamlet. I think Hamlet has got so much variety in it... and Hamlet the character has so much variety and vitality... that its appeal is hard to beat. Now I am alone. O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I! Is it not monstrous that this player here... but in a fiction, a dream of passion. Could force his soul so to his own conceit that from her working... all this visage wanned. Tears in his eyes, distraction in's aspect. A broken voice, and his whole function suiting with forms to his conceit? And all for nothing! What would he do? Had he the motive and the cue for passion that I have? He would drown the stage with tears... and cleave the general ear with horrid speech... make mad the guilty, and appal the free... confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed... the very faculties of eyes and ears. Yet I... a dull and muddy-mettled rascal... peak like John-a-dreams... unrepentant of my cause, and can say nothing... no, not for a king upon whose property and most dear life... a damned defeat was made. Am I a coward? Who calls me villain? Breaks my pate across? Tweaks me by the nose? Gives me the lie i' the throat, as deep as to the lungs? Who does me this? 'Swounds, I should take it: for it cannot be... but I am pigeon-liver'd and lack gall to make oppression bitter... or ere this I should have fatted all the region kites... with this slave's offal: bloody, bawdy villain! Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous, kindless villain! O, vengeance! Written in 1604... Othello ranks along side Hamlet, Macbeth... and King Lear as one of the greatest of the tragedies. It is no surprise that in his classic work 'Shakespearian Tragedy'... the great authority A.C. Bradley... selected Othello as one of the greatest of the tragedies. The play is about the downfall... of a high ranking Military Commander in the Venetian service, Othello. Jealousy is the main theme... but there are clearly a number of other issues. To help us unravel the mysteries of Othello... I asked Doctor Russell Jackson of the Shakespeare Institute here in Stratford. I think Othello is one of the great tragedies of love... because it's got so many commonplace, ordinary things in it... as well as passionate expression of love at the center... and it has so many complications to do with attitudes to... race, to relations between the sexes... to social status and to profit and how people profit from each other. - lago. - What say'st thou noble heart? What will I do, thinkest thou? Why, go to bed, and sleep. I will incontinently drown myself. If thou dost, I shall never love thee after. Why thou silly man. It is silliness to live when to live is torment; What should I do? I confess it is my shame to be so fond; - but is not in my virtue to amend it. - Virtue! A fig! Come, be a man. Drown thyself! Drown cats and blind puppies. I have professed me thy friend; I could never better stead three than now. Put money in thy purse; follow thou the wars; I say, put money in thy purse. It cannot be that Desdemona... should long continue her love to the Moor... put money in thy purse. When she is stated with his body... she will find the error of her choice: therefore make money. If thou wilt needs damn thyself, do it a more delicate way than drowning. Make all the money thou canst: if a frail vow betwixt an erring barbarian... and a supersubtle Venetian not too hard for my wits and all the tribe of hell... thou shalt enjoy her; therefore make money. Go to. It is very difficult to work out what if anything motivates lago... in his campaign which is virtually against Othello. Various motives seem to be suggested in the course of the play... that he isjealous of Cassio's promotion to the lieutenancy, for example... that he suspects that Othello has been unfaithful with Emilia, lago's wife... that he himself, lago himself desires Desdemona. But the multiplicity of motives makes it difficult to believe any of them. My own feeling is lago is evil, because he is evil. I hate the Moor: And it is thought abroad, that 'twixt my Sheets. He has done my office: I know not if't be true; But I, for mere suspicion of that kind, will do as if for surety. He holds me well; The better shall my purpose work on him. lago seems to have a different motivation every time he talks to us... and he talks to us a lot. lago takes the audience into his confidence... he is almost a presenter of the play's events to us... in the same way he constructs scenes and presents them to Othello... and lago is somebody who is infinitely resourceful... in finding good explanations for everything he does. I have told thee often, and I tell thee again and again: I hate the Moor: my cause is hearted; thine hath no less reason. We should be conjunctive in our revenge against him: if thou canst cuckold him... thou dost thyself a pleasure, me a sport. There are many events in the womb of time that shall be delivered. Traverse! Go, make money. Shakespeare gets beneath the skin of the characters. He stares into the very soul of man... and seems to view the world from a myriad of different perspectives... all at once. The character Othello is a perfect example. He is a formal part of Venetian society... but because he is black he also sits outside the mainstream... a position still reflected today. Othello lives by making the right decision as a General... and I think it as significant that lago's famous... some people call it temptation, but certainly his persuasion of Othello... that to bejealous about his wife might be a good idea... takes place in the middle of ordinary concerns of being a General... looking at fortifications, sorting out what needs to be done... very often on stage they are making up a canvas... or looking at lists of things together... or looking through an armory, something like that. So Othello is somebody who is prized by the Venetian state... because he is a very good general and you get to be a general... by keeping your head when all those around you are losing theirs... and then here's this man... who in his straight forward love relationship with a woman... is easily persuaded to forget... or to forgo all that cold, logical analysis. I speak not yet of proof. Look to thy wife; observe her well with Cassio. Wear your eye thus: notjealous or secure. I do know our country disposition well: In Venice they do let heaven see the pranks. They dare not show their husbands; their best conscience is not to leave't undone, but keep't unknown. Dost thou say so? She did deceive her father, marrying you... and when she seemed to shake, and fear your looks... - She loved them most. - And so she did. Why, go to, then! She that so young could give out such a seeming... to seal her father's eyes up close as oak he thought 'twas witchcraft. But I am much to blame... I humbly do beseech you of your pardon for too much loving you... I am bound to thee for ever. I see this hath a little dashed your spirits. - Not ajot, not ajot. - In faith, I fear it has. I hope you will consider what is spoke comes from my love. My lord I do see you're moved. I am to pray you... not to strain my speech to grosser issues... nor to larger reach than to suspicion. - I will not. - Should you do so, my lord... My speech should fall into such vile success... as my thought aimed not at. Cassio's my worthy friend. - My lord, I see you're moved. - No, not much moved. I do not think but Desdemona's honest. Long live she so! And long live you to think so! And yet, how nature erring from itself... Ay, there's the point: as, to be bold with you... not to enter into any marriage of her own clime, complexion, and degree... whereto we see in all things nature tends, Foh! One may smell in such a will most rank, foul disproportion... thoughts unnatural. But, pardon me, I do not in position distinctly speak of her... thought I may fear her will, recoiling to her betterjudgement... may fall to match you with her country forms... - And happily repent. - Farewell, farewell. If more thou dost perceive, let me know more. Set on my wife to observe. Leave me, lago. My lord, I take my leave. Although Othello is a strong and valiant man. He appears to be very easily manipulated by the machinations of lago. Given this fact we can be forgiven... for believing that the fiery character of Othello... is his downfall, and subsequently that of Desdemona. Desdemona could have behaved more tactfully, couldn't she? I think the scene where she contributes most clearly to her own downfall... is that in which she actually nags Othello to forgive Cassio. She hammers the point home... and if only one feels she had been a little more discreet about that... well, we might have ended up not with a tragedy. Be thou assured, good Cassio, I will do all my abilities in thy behalf. Good madam, do: I warrant it grieves my husband, as if the case were his. O, that's an honest fellow. Do not doubt, Cassio... But I will have my lord and you again as friendly as you were. Bounteous madam, whatever shall become of Michael Cassio... he's never any thing but your true servant. - Madam, here comes my lord. - Madam, I'll take my leave. - Ha! I like not that. - What dost thou say? Nothing my lord: or if I know not what. Was not that Cassio parted from my wife? Cassio, my lord! No sure, I cannot think it. That how would steal away so guilty like, seeing you coming. I do believe 'twas he. How now, my lord! I have been talking with a suitor here... A man that languishes in your displeasure. - Who is't you mean? - Why, your lieutenant, Cassio. Good my lord. If I have any grace or power to move you... his present reconciliation take; For if he be not one that truly loves you... that errs in ignorance and not in cunning... I have nojudgement in an honest face: - I prithee, call him back. - Went he hence now? Ay, sooth: so humbled that he hath left part of his grief with me... to suffer with him. Good love, call him back. Not tonight, sweet Desdemona; some other time. - But shall't be shortly? - The sooner, sweet, for you. - Shall't be to-night at supper? - No, not to-night. - To-morrow dinner, then? - I shall not dine at home; - I meet the captains at the citadel. - Why, then, to-morrow night; or Tuesday morn; On Tuesday noon, or night; on Wednesday morn: I prithee, name the time... but let it not exceed three days; in faith, he's penitent; Prithee, no more: let him come when he will; I will deny thee nothing. Whereon, I do beseech thee, grant me this... To leave me but a little to myself. Shall I deny you? No: farewell, my lord. Farewell, my sweet Desdemona: I'll come to thee straight. Emilia, come. Be as your fancies teach you; Whate'er you be... I am obedient. Excellent wretch! Perdition catch my soul, but I do love thee! And when I love thee not, Chaos is come again. Desdemona may appear to be the innocent victim. But it could be argued that she does contribute to her own downfall. Again we ask Russell Jackson. Desdemona contributes to her own downfall to a certain extent... partly because she is innocent in the sense of not knowing certain things. She insists on reinstating Cassio. She nags Othello about it, to use a slightly sexist verb. She won't let it go... and at the same time Desdemona can't comprehend... how all the gestures of subordination she constantly... and dutifully makes to Othello can be misread. The scene for example where Othello slaps Desdemona in public... is one of the most shocking in the play... because he hasjust shown his obedience to the Venetian state... he takes the scroll of paper, 'I kiss the instrument of their pleasures'. I don't think that's a bawdy joke, but still... he takes a piece of paper, this commission... and then he treats Desdemona like dirt... and he treats her in a way that is shocking to everyone on stage... who hasjust arrived from Venice... as it were bringing Venice on to the stage with them. - Save you, worthy general! - With all my heart, sir. The duke and senators of Venice greet you. I kiss the instrument of their pleasures. And what's the news, good cousin Lodovico? I am very glad to see you, sir. Welcome to Cyprus. I thank you. How does Lieutenant Cassio? Lives sir. Cousin, there's fall'n between him and my lord an unkind breach: - but you shall make all well. - Are you sure of that? - My lord? - He did not call; He's busy in the paper. Is there division 'twixt my lord and Cassio? A most unhappy one: I would do much to atone them, for the love I bear to Cassio. - Fire and brimstone! - My lord? - Are you wise? - What, is he angry? May be the letter moved him; For, as I think... they do command him home, Deputing Cassio in his government. - Trust me, I am glad on't. - Indeed! - My lord? - I am glad to see you mad. - Why, sweet Othello. - Devil! I have not deserved this. This would not be believed in Venice, though I should swear I saw't: 'tis very much: Make her amends; - she weeps. - O devil, devil! If that the earth could teem with woman's tears. Each drop she falls would prove a crocodile. - Out of my sight! - I will not stay to offend you. I do beseech you lordship, call her back. Mistress! What would you with her, sir? - Who, I, my lord? - Ay, sir; You did wish that I would make her turn: Sir... she can turn, and turn... and yet go on, and turn again; and she can weep, sir, weep; And she's obedient. Very obedient. Proceed you in your tears. Concerning this, sir, O well-painted passion! I am commanded home. Get you away; I'll send for you anon. Sir, I obey the mandate, And will return to Venice. Hence, avant! Cassio shall have my place. And, sir, tonight, I do entreat that we may sup together: You are welcome, sir, to Cyprus. Othello is the victim of a number of overt racial slurs. Of course Shakespeare wrote for a different society. But how can a modern audience rationalize... the vicious nature of racial language in Othello. For modern audiences the blackness of Othello... is very much complicated by modern social issues... by racial and social issues of the present day. In some ways I think they are a help in the sense... that they mean that we are less likely perhaps than the Victorians were... to have any sort of prejudices against Othello... because of his race or because of his color. There were such prejudices in earlier days... and some of the earlier critics of the play... felt that Shakespeare was quite wrong indeed... to present a black man who married a white woman in Desdemona. This is not something that we are at all likely to feel nowadays. Othello is an easy target for some of the basest... and worst kind of racial abuse. Now making him somebody who rises above... the pettiness of others is very important... and the difficulty nowadays and the danger in the play... but at the same time some of its excitement... is that for a black actor to play Othello... without seeming to endorse... the idea of black men being more angry, more passionate, more gullible... than people who aren't black gives the play an edge... but at the same time a degree of difficulty, of danger. It is the cause, it is the cause, my soul... Let me not name it to you, you chaste stars! It is the cause. Yet I'll not shed her blood; Nor scar that whiter skin of hers than snow... and smooth as monumental alabaster. Yet she must die, else she'll betray more men. Put out the light, and then... put out the light: If I quench thee, thou flaming minister... I can again thy former light restore, should I repent me: but once put out thy light... thou cunning'st pattern of excelling nature... I know not where is that Promethean heat that can thy light relume. Balmy breath... that dost almost persuade justice to break her sword! One more, one more. Be thus when thou art dead... and I will kill thee, and love thee after. One more, and this the last: So sweet was ne'er so fatal. I must weep... but they are cruel tears: this sorrow's heavenly; It strike where it doth love. She wakes. Who's there? Othello? Ay Desdemona. Will you come to bed, my lord? - Have you pray'd to-night, Desdemona? - Ay, my lord. If you bethink yourself of any crime... unreconciled as yet to heaven and grace, solicit for it straight. Alas, my lord, what do you mean by that? Well, do it, and be brief; I will walk by: I would not kill thy unprepared spirit; No; heaven forefend! I would not kill thy soul. - Talk you of killing? - Ay, I do. - Then heaven, have mercy on me! - Amen, with all my heart! If you say, so, I hope you will not kill me. And yet I fear you; - Think on thy sin. - They are loves I bear to you. Ay, and for that thou diest. That death's unnatural that kills for loving. Alas... why gnaw you so your nether lip? Some bloody passion shakes your very frame: These are portents; but yet I hope... I hope, they do not point on me. - Peace, and be still! - I will so. What's the matter? That handkerchief which I so loved and gave thee... - thou gavest to Cassio. - No, by my life and soul! Send for the man, and ask him. Take heed of perjury; thou art on thy deathbed. - Ay, but not yet to die. - Yes presently: Therefore confess thee freely of thy sin; For to deny each article with oath... cannot remove nor choke the strong conception which I do groan withal. - Thou art to die. - Then Lord have mercy on me! - I say, amen. - And have you mercy too! I never did offend you in my life; never loved Cassio but with such general warranty of heaven as I might love: - I never gave him token. - By heaven... I saw my handkerchief in's hand. O perjured woman! Thou dost stone my heart, and makest me call what I intend to do; a murder... which I thought a sacrifice: I saw the handkerchief. He found it then; I never gave it him: send for him hither; Let him confess a truth. - He hath confess'd. - What, my lord? - That be hath used thee. - How? - Unlawfully? - Ay. - He will not say so. - No, his mouth is stopp'd; Honest Iago hath ta'en order for't. O! my fears interprets: - what, is he dead? - Had all his hairs been lives... my great revenge had stomach for them all. Alas! He is betray'd and I undone. Out, strumpet weep'st thou for him to my face? O, banish me, my lord, but kill me not! Kill me to-morrow: let me live to-night! - Hay, if you strive. - But half an hour! - Being done, there is no pause. - But while I say one prayer! It is too late. My lord, my lord! What, ho! my lord... What noise is this? Not dead? Not yet quite dead? Desdemona dies a victim's death, it's very pathetic. She dies nobly, she dies forgiving her husband... denying even that he had killed her. Othello is also the victim. He is the victim of lago and it's Emilia who brings that home to the audience... as it gradually dawns on her finally... how wicked a man, her own husband is. In the final scene Emilia realizes the full extent of lago's ignominy. She realizes it as it were simultaneously with Othello. She is the one who is battering at the door to get in... she is the one rebuking Othello for being so stupid... and then she is the one who is silenced by lago... first verbally and then physically by killing her. That's very shocking but it is also, if you like, the 'nadir'... the lowest point of male/female relationships in the play. Oh Emilia, come in. What's the matter with thee now? Oh my god lord, yonder's foul murder's done. - What now? - But now my lord! It is the very error of the moon: She comes more nearer earth than she was wont, and makes men mad. Cassio, my lord, hath killed a young Venetian called Roderigo. - Roderigo killed? And Cassio killed? - No, Cassio is not killed. Not Cassio killed! Then murder's out of tune, and sweet revenge grows harsh. O, falsely, falsely murdered! - What cry is that? - That? What? Out and alas, that was my lady's voice! Help... O, lady, speak again! Sweet Desdemona, O sweet mistress, speak! - O, who hath done this deed? - Nobody. I myself. Commend me to my lord. Why... how should she be murdered? Alas, who knows? You heard her say herself it was not I. She said so: I must needs report the truth. She's a liar gone to burning hell: T'was I that killed her. O, the more angel she, and you the blacker devil! She turned to folly; and she was a whore. Thou dost belie her, and thou art a devil. - She was false as water. - Thou art rash as fire to say... that she was false. O, she was heavenly true! Cassio did top her: ask thy husband else. O, I were damned beneath all depth in hell but that I... did proceed upon just grounds to this extremity. - Thy husband knew it all. - My husband! - Thy husband. - That she was false to wedlock? Ay, with Cassio. Nay, had she been true... If heaven would make me... such another world of one entire and perfect chrysolite... I'd not have sold her for it. My husband! Ay, 'twas he that told me on her first. An honest man he is... and hates the slime that sticks on filthy deeds. - My husband! - What needs this iterance, woman? O mistress, villainy hath made mocks with love! My husband say that she was false? I say thy husband; dost understand the word? My friend, thy husband, honest, honest Iago. If he say so, may his pernicious soul rot half a grain a day! He lies to th'heart. She was too fond of her most filthy bargain. Do thy worst: This deed of thine is no more worthy heaven... - than thou wast worthy her. - Peace, you were best. Thou hast not half that power to do me harm as I have to be hurt. O dolt! As ignorant as dirt! Thou hast done a deed... I care not for thy sword. I'll make thee known, though I lost twenty lives. Help! The Moor hath killed my mistress! Murder! Murder! So there we are. Othello. I think it's one of the greatest... but to conclude we asked our academics... if they could sum up the reasons why they considered it to be so. The greatness of Othello lies partly in its representation... of opposing forces in human nature... the forces of good and evil. To put it like that sounds very abstract... and these forces are embodied very strongly in human beings in the play... but underneath the surface of the play... there is this war between good and evil. This is something which is important to people at every level of their lives. We are all conscious of evil in human beings... the possibility of evil within ourselves... the possibility of virtue as well... the fact that evil can overcome virtue... but nevertheless virtue can declare itself in fighting against evil. Othello is a play of everyday life... but it is a play that goes further than that. It's a thriller, a play with certain circumstantial evidence in it... something being unpicked and uncovered. But it has also got frightening depth about human motivation... and extraordinary language that no one can quite explain... it's resonant and it's persuasive... and some of it is very beautiful. Tis destiny unshunable... like death. Even then this forked plague is fated to us when we do quicken. If she be false... oh then heaven mocks itself. I'll not believe it. Hey! This way! Hey! no! are you ok? ! What's wrong? Look! It's... What's happening? This is a message plate. It is a warning from a super-advanced civilization that came before us whose scientific knowledge surpassed even the most advanced technology of today. One which perished as a result of it's own unchecked technological progress. Return the art created in the infinite darkness to the darkness. and never awaken it again. the organization known as Arcam was formed to safeguard the technology of this advanced civilization. are known as Spriggan. Subtitled for the exclusive use of the Anime Club of Cape Cod! This is "Fairy"... reply. Damn it. I'm the only one left again. So much for today. Ominae... If you keep falling asleep during class after coming back from a long absence you're going to end up our junior. Really. Yeah. it's... Huh? Tanaka... and his parents had to put in a missing person's report. But he suddenly came back yesterday. Tanaka? You looked kind of pale. what're you doing? ! Help...me...! STOP! Yu! are you alright? what is Noah all about? ! And what the hell is this supposed to be? ! you are next. an entire Arcam research party was killed on Mt. Ararat in Turkey? I did happen to hear that. Noah's ark was later discovered in that place. Noah's ark? as it was written through the 7th and 9th chapters of the book of Genesis in the Old Testament. The humans that God made had grown to become incredibly evil. God regretted his creation and decided to destroy man. a man who's heart was right with God to build an ark for his family and for two of every living animal on Earth. What does any of that have to do with this? ! Let me finish the entire story. a different research party was attacked by someone at another location. That picture was taken after the attack at the ruins. Three weeks ago? ! Why didn't you tell me about this? ! it's obvious that they're targeting you. That's too great of a risk for us. my friend was used as a human bomb! Are you asking me to look away on this one? Noah's ark is a very dangerous ruin. I can't let you go there in the state you're in. this mission is too much for the injuries that you've incurred. and... You must be joking! A challenge has been directed straight at me! I'll settle this myself! Yu! Here you go. Thank you. Professor Mayzel is researching the spot. Doc Mayzel is..? This plane is now entering Turkish air space. An unknown fighter of unknown origin has ordered us to change our course. Our permission to land from at Devas airport from ground control has been cancelled. We are now heading for Istanbul. agents from the Turkey branch of the Arcam Foundation are working to make alternate travel arrangements. what a tender welcome. Did you come to fight a war? Seize them! I'm very sorry about that. We were supposed to have had an agreement. let's just take it easy. By the way did you make some agreement with the car back there? of course... That's because they're my friends. packed in concrete about now... I don't know where you're from but it's way too early in the morning to be fighting. Yu Ominae. One of the special agents of the Arcam Foundation which protects dangerous ruins of extremely ancient civilizations. He has rare physical abilities and reflexes... his true potential is number one in the organization. His true potential really isn't that much. Ominae's cheap tricks won't have any effect on me. I heard your unit was cruelly betrayed by him before. Where is he now? we lost him after the attack. No matter. I know he'll be coming here after all. Arcam is just a private foundation... I'll make this mountain his grave. Colonel Macdougal? That's the mountain. It's one of Arcam's. Hey! Damn! Why are you so quick to start shooting? How long are you going to walk me around like this? keep your mouth shut. But it's like I've been telling you... No one from Arcam dresses like that. I couldn't help it! Doc..! Doc Mayzel! eh? be quiet. What are you doing? ! Are you alright? Let me go! What's this noise now? Doc..! Me..! it's Yu..! What are you doing here? I'm saved. Doc? Yes. number one Spriggan. It can't be... Is he really? Oh man. I heard about your life being targeted. Chief Yamamoto in Tokyo has been worried about you. How hasty of you to run away from the hospital and to use Arcam's private jet. Here. It's the latest in armored muscle suits. It's made partly of fibers of a metal called Omihalcon. That battle suit was created by mixing metal Omihalcon fibers with an artificial muscle structure that is resistant to both heat and pressure. It enables the user to draw more than 30 times as much power as is normally used. how long has it been since we've taken any vacation? was about two years ago. This is a fighting knife also made of Omihalcon. With a knuckle guard! What's this? Arm pad with wire anchor. with a strong climbing claw. Wow. and it can lift up to two or three persons. I can't believe you have to be armed with such things. Emergency alert! An armed group of intruders have been spotted at excavation site one. All defense units and medics are to report immediately! So they've come. I'm going to try these babies out right now. What's going on? Damn! He's a monster! Run for it! Withdraw! Why you..! What happy people! How dare you act so vulgar! Spriggan! Yu Ominae..! you can't escape! I leave him to you! Come back here! you little traitor? What? Major Fatman! It's a pity Ominae..! Did you lose your abilities when you joined Arcam? How come? How come? What's wrong with you? and what we trained you for! Bastard! Who the hell are you? ! My name is Jean. Jean Jacquemonde. Where is Mayzel? ! You want to pick on an old man? I'm here. I've got you. My body became like this because of you. Ominae! Jean? Don't move! brainwashing him with all the troubles of life your abilities are still only this much. I'm going to stop the source of your breathing now... Ominae! ...with this machine body of mine! You've finally shown your true colors! That is ENOUGH! He's already dead. Both Little Boy and Fatman failed to obtain Mayzel. They were just big talk. It was predictable. that was all they could do. what if they continue to hold Noah? Don't worry about that. When our satellite probe was destroyed the investigation into the magnetic field occurrence was quite significant. along with the other message plate prove that we are the ones who are holding the key to Noah. What great confidence. I will kill all who interfere with me. quietly. You seem to be tired. Who was he? My former boss. what did you come here for? Revenge? don't you? Don't be so spoiled! and forgot about the actual mission. and entrust their lives to us will be exposed to danger. Information from the satellite probe has revealed a shift in the magnetic field. and it seems he's reached the heart. There's no more time. The situation is getting more and more difficult. I think we need to take some kind of measures. There is no need for that. Macdougal will take care of it. But General..! one by one. because the consciousness of our nation has been instilled in his head. So this is Noah's ark. It's bigger than I thought. by a width is 50 cubits... This is five times as big as that. it's not made of any ordinary wooden material. let alone destroy it. This is the entrance. Can't you open it? material that has no time. What did you say? we can never destroy it. It may not have even been created by human beings. aren't you? Machiner's Squad? Yeah. It's a Cyborg unit under the Pentagon. What's so funny? the man who has the Devil's own power. What's that? We have taken complete control of this base. Please abandon your weapons and do as I tell you. Who are you? Bastard..! What did you do to me..? Yu! You brat! though it can't be helped if you want to die like him. Idiot! I'm not dead yet. Wow! Still alive after taking that shock wave? You have the life force of a cockroach. I won't die from such a thing. Cockroaches should crawl on the floor! Stop playing around! Let's protect Yu! you fools! What good will it do for you to die needlessly? and Ms. Margaret. We finally meet I see. I am God of the sky. He who awakens me can freely make use of that which surrounds the Earth. When evil begins to spread across the world turn the blessings of heaven to the curse of the Devil and then create a new human race. That's the message that was left on the stone manuscript we have. Analyzing this with the Professors data... The blessings from heaven are the ultraviolet rays of the sun which warm the Earth. such as carbon-dioxide and the ozone layer. Thus controlling the amount of ultraviolet penetration. In other words... Noah controls the atmosphere of the Earth. What are you going to do with Noah? What? Why did you do that? ! That data belonged to our nation! You two will go into Noah with me. can you? Not if you care about the lives of the people here. Wait! Your behavior goes against the will of the army's! Go away. doctor. so you're Macdougal. they put a magnetic field brain amplifer in your head. Surely they realized such a device could kill you without warning. isn't it? Dr. Mayzel. That's why the Pentagon tried so desperately to obtain you. They justify every crime in the name of patriotism. until they created you. That is why you are also a creature with the ugly ego of that nation. That's old-fashioned sentimentalism. I was not only chosen by my nation but by God. What did you say? Spriggan! Where did that brat go? ! Shoot him! Shoot him to death! That's far enough! Such good intentions... Hey! Don't you care what happens to your friend? ! Don't underestimate me! It's resonating with him. You had it. Professor Mayzel. and seal off this block! Bastard! I think there is a meaning in the fact that the ark is in this area. that no other mountain around was suitable for? If the legend of the first flood was caused by the ark then the true power of the ark may be the ability to control the magnetic field. This is it. it is unknown territory. We don't know what will happen. Fine by me. let's go. Die! Die! no! Damn! Jean! Jean? Ominae what did you do with that brat? I heard he's headed for the ark. Dr. Mayzel and his assistant are hostages. That should be taken care of first. Jean. quickly..! Ominae! Save those two by all means. Take care of Jean! How is it? I see. Hey! The door is open. The Doc..? Probably inside the ark. Why aren't you following them? Well... Look at that. Light doesn't even penetrate it. I've never seen or heard of such a thing. This is the center of Noah. This is Noah's control panel. let's begin. Are you alright? Take care. Professor. The shield upon Noah is now undone. Professor. Yes. It's..! It's wonderful! while arms reductions are progressing over the world the focus of our attentions is on environmental issues. global warming... all of these problems can be solved. Macdougal! Our country must always be the leader of the free world. So we wanted to obtain this by any means. Why does the Pentagon have to have this? they could end up destroying their own country. What is your real purpose in all this? Is it dead? What's going on here? Tracing back our history... too. I think Noah has another function besides controlling the atmosphere. that no one would believe such a fact. That just maybe the countless dinosaurs and other strange animals in stasis outside in the ark were probably used in experiments for creating the life forms that would carry on the next generation. What are these things? Noah's other function is that of a life-creating device. Professor? Isn't it incredible? The history of the human race was created within this "Noah's ark! let us build a new world with our hands. Worthless. That is your wish. Mankind has progressed in the wrong way. Man is the only defective work that God created. Are you trying to put Man on trial in place of God? We must do it now. I want the two of you to create new life forms for the next generation using Noah. Professor. Come let's do it. No. Damn! Where the hell are the Doc and the others? What did you just say? I said no. You're insane. I see. Then it can't be helped. What are you going to do? Get a fire extinguisher..! Quickly! Run! Run! An earthquake! No! Look! The ark has started to move! What's all this shaking? That brat is moving the ark! I've activated Noah's global warming mode. Ice from the North and South Pole will begin to melt. And seawater that is warmed will cause abnormal weather conditions and swallow most of the land. Professor? You can't turn back now. This is the beginning of the second flood legend. So cockroach you're still alive! I'll destroy it from the inside. I'll take this ark down with that brat. Professor! That's it! That bastard! That will be enough! Silence! Professor! So there you are. I'm taking the Doc and Ms. Margaret back. other than the door into Noah. hurry and go! The plate... I won't let you go! I gave the Professor the one chance to co-exist with God. I'm your only enemy here. Let's fight our way to the pits of Hell. haven't you learned your lesson? brat! Looks like you want a double suicide. But you're going to make your trip to Hell alone. Don't make me laugh. Who could be beaten by a brat like you? Don't you get it yet? That armored suit is as good as a toy in front of me. Why don't you stop profaning God's temple with your blood already? God's temple? Where is God in this room? and the one who wields it is God. Which part of this extermination equipment is God? ! is only given to the chosen one. A person like you has no right to be on this ark. You're just another person who's being used! You're just an expendable item to your government! Don't you see that? ! My plans no longer have anything to do with the Pentagon or the Machiner's Squad. I'll judge these rotten human beings with my own hands. You've gotta be kidding! Stay back! You bastard..! He's dead. Project name... "Cosmos. The Pentagon's special experimental unit in which elite killers are trained since childhood. Number 43. Don't call me by a number. Yu Ominae.... I've heard the rumor... didn't you? Number 43! Put down that gun. that's it. Number 43? ! Yu Ominae! You are nothing more than a killing machine. I'm... You've seen the death of your parents on the people you've killed. Such a thing must have drove you mad. I am not a machine. I am a human being. even if I must die. A human? God? You make me laugh. Where on earth is a God who was made by humans? when it began resonating with your power. What do you think you can do with that body full of junk? I am God! I will kill all of Man! you will already be dead! Idiot. Damn it! just a little more... and my nightmare's would have been washed away! A brats fairy tale dream is over. What are you doing? I said that I wasn't going to be a tool for murder. Noah's self-destruct sequence has just been activated. What? which was in different dimensional space will be swallowed up by three-dimensional space. Bastard! We've discovered many magnetic fields similar to Noah's. Ruins with artifacts that have this kind of power are all over the world. Spriggan! What's that? Look! The ark! Damn... It's over. Wake up Ominae! you jerk. Jean. What? I'm way too easy going. I can still see that brat's dying face in my mind. but that's what I like about you. What did you say? Just shut up hang on. What's that? ! That is the true figure of the ark. The ark is breaking up! It can't be! We couldn't even scratch the thing! Something must have been activated to have caused this! Four thousand years of time... and returned to the void. what about Yu and Jean? look. Yu! You're alive! The King's New Grammar School in Stratford upon Avon... where over 400 years ago a young lad named William Shakespeare... poured over his classical literature and history... and began to learn about the great names and events that had shaped the world. Today, Stratford has changed. It's still the cozy market town of Shakespeare's day... but it has also become the epicenter of the 'Shakespeare World'. The Royal Shakespeare Company, the Shakespeare Center... and the Shakespeare Institute are all based here... offering unique facilities where Shakespeare's life, times and works... can be seen, heard and studied. The play, Julius Caesar... relates the rise and fall of a man whose ambition increased the power... and influence of the mighty Roman Empire... but it was an all consuming ambition... one that drove Caesar to become Emperor and dictator... and which ultimately caused friends to desert him and to loathe him... and, finally, to murder him. Brutus is often considered to be the man... whose character undergoes the greatest moral shift in the play. As an actor, charged with thejob of finding the motivation of the man... during rehearsal and in performance... I am in the happy position of being able to ask questions... which are of personal interest to me. How could we do better then, than turn at the outset... to Dr. Robert Smallwood of the Shakespeare Center... and Professor Stanley Wells of the Shakespeare Institute... to shed light on the main themes of this play... which those of us with even a passing knowledge of politics... will recognize as one which still fits so easily... into the experience of our modern world. - Calpurnia - Peace, ho! Caesar speaks. - Calpurnia. - Here, my lord. Stand you directly in Antonio's way when he doth run his course. Antonio. Caesar, my lord. Forget not in your speed, Antonio, to touch Calpurnia... for our elders say... The barren touched in this holy chase, Shake off their curse. I shall remember: When Caesar says "Do this", it is performed. Set on, and leave no ceremony out. Julius Caesar is of course a history play. It is related to what actually happened in Ancient Rome. Shakespeare read about that particularly in a great book... that he made a lot of use of 'The Lives of the Emperors'... by the Greek historian Plutarc... which exists in a wonderful translation by Sir Thomas North. I say a wonderful translation because Shakespeare saw that himself too. He not only read it, he paraphrased it, he borrowed bits from it... he uses and incorporates phrases from it into his verses in plays. He clearly enjoyed that. Now the fact that this was an historical story meant a lot to Shakespeare. Julius Caesar was a very important figure, I mean so important... he actually conquered England, which means he was a very great man indeed. He was a very well known figure and I think this helped Shakespeare... to the extent he didn't have to... portray Caesar's greatness as much as he would have done... if Caesar hadn't been such a well-known figure. The play is concerned very much with itself as a piece of history making. Shakespeare is dramatizing... one of the most famous political assassinations of all time... the single most often treated episode from history... in all 16th and 17th Century writing... and when the conspirators have succeeded in their first aim of killing Caesar... they have that extraordinary ritual moment when they see themselves... making history. Caesar! Who calls? Bid ever noise be still. Peace yet again. Who is it in the press that calls on me? I hear a tongue shiller than all the music. Cry "Caesar!" Speak. Caesar is turned to hear. Beware the ides of March. What man is that? A soothsayer bids you beware the ides of March. Set him before me; let me see his face. Fellow, come from the throng. Look upon Caesar. What sayest thou to me now? Beware the ides of March He is a dreamer. Let us leave him. Pass! At its most basic level Julius Caesar is a story, an historical story. It tells the story about people who existed. Of course Shakespeare doesn't follow history exactly... he reshapes it for its dramatic ends. So one appeal of the play for later ages... has been the sheer narrative of the play... but of course it has also gone on appealing, because people... have found that the play embodies ideas or what we tend to call themes. One theme of Julius Caesar if you like, is politics. It's a play about ruling a country. It's a play about usurpation, about dictatorship... about the fact that in politics somebody may... assume so much power that it begins to corrupt them. Now this is a universal theme... we have found it all over our century... Romania, Germany, Russia... even one might suggest in England. The corruption of politics is a frequent theme... and it is very much present in this play, I think. Will you go see the order of the course? - Not I. - I pray you, do. I am not gamesome: I do lack some part of that quick spirit that is in Antony. Let me not hinder, Cassius, you desires: I'll leave you. Brutus... I do observe you now. Tell me, good Brutus... can you see your face? No; for the eye sees not itself but by reflection... by some other things. 'Tisjust... And it is very much lamented, Brutus, that you have so such mirrors... as will turn your hidden worthiness into you eye... that you might see your shadow. I have heard... where many of the best respect in Rome... except immortal Caesar... speaking of Brutus, and groaning underneath this age's yoke... have wished that noble Brutus had his eyes. Into what dangers would you lead me, Cassius... that you would have me seek into myself for that which is not in me? Therefore, good Brutus, be prepared to hear. And since you know you cannot see yourself so well as by reflection... I, your glass... will modestly discover to yourself... that of yourself which you yet know not of. What motivates Cassius? In contrast to Brutus, his brother-in-law... Caius Cassius, ostensibly has very clear cut reasons... for wishing Caesar assassinated. Or does he? His relationship with the emperor is an unhappy one... but it is not easy to separate his personal enmity... from his deep founded belief in republican sentiments. So what is his motivation for the murder? Cassius is the prime mover of events... and the investigation of his character... is essential to the understanding of why Caesar was destined to die. I think Cassius is a very passionate man actually. Much less of a man of principle... than Brutus is or thinks he is anyway. 'Caesar loves Brutus', says Cassius at the end of his attempts... to bring Brutus into the conspiracy. 'Caesar loves Brutus... if he were Cassius now and I were Brutus... he would not humor me'. If he were loved by Caesar... I don't think Cassius would be talking Republicanism. Cassius is an emotive figure. He is somebody who gets things going. He is more active than Brutus. Brutus has to be acted upon... Cassius acts but whether he acts for good motives is more disputable. Cassius is more obviously a self-seeking figure. He is more obviously ambitious to be in with the main party. So I feel that Cassius acts more out of... the desire for self aggrandizement than Brutus does for example. I do fear the people chose Caesar for their king. Ay, do you fear it? Then must I think you would not have it so. I would not; yet I love him well. But wherefore do you hold me? What is it that you would impart to me? If it be aught toward the general good... set honour in one eye, and death i'th'other... and I will look on both indifferently. For the love of gods so speed me... as I do love the name of honour more than I fear death. I know that virtue to be in you, Brutus... as well as I do know your outward favour. I was born free as Caesar, so were you: We both have fed as well... and we can both endure the Winter's cold as well as he. Once, upon a raw and gusty day... the troubled Tiber chafing with her shores... Said Caesar to me... 'Dar'st thou, Cassius... now leap in with me into this angry flood... and swim to yonder point? ' Upon the word, accoutred as I was... I plunged in and bade him follow. So indeed he did. The torrent roared, and we did buffet it with lusty sinews... throwing it aside spinning with hearts of controversy. But ere we could arrive the point proposed... Caesar cried, 'Help me, Cassius, or I sink! ' I, as Aeneas, our great ancestor... did from the Flames of Troy, upon his shoulder... the old Anchyses beare, so, from the waves of Tyber... Did I the tired Caesar. And this man... is now become a god... And Cassius... is a wretched creature, and must bend his body... if Caesar carelessly but nod on him. The play focuses upon thejudicial magistrate Marcus Brutus... and it is through him that Shakespeare explores thejourney of a man... who becomes the victim of his own idealism. Does that idealism make him a noble or simply one open to self delusion? It is an issue which is shared by others... and it is central to the inner conflicts which wrack... '... the noblest Roman of them all', as Mark Antony describes him. Brutus of course is a noble man in private life. His life was gentle and the elements so mixed in him... that nature might stand up and say to all the world... this was a man from his enemy. Of course it is easy to be nice... about people when you havejust bumped them off... but I think we need to take that at its face value... as a description of a man who has lived well, presumably... before the play began, who has... admirable personal relationships with the people around... he is immensely admired... but who when he moves into the public arena of politics... is utterly hopeless. There is a sense in which Brutus is the main character of the play. It is an odd thing about this play that it has the title of Julius Caesar... it's called the "Tragedy of Julius Caesar" indeed... and yet Julius Caesar is killed half way through the play... and Brutus remains the focus of attention... from very early on in the play until the very end. And many people in the play regard Brutus as a very good man... and his reputation for goodness, I think, is one of the reasons... why the other conspirators want him at the center of the conspiracy. They feel that if he is known to be supporting the conspiracy... then this would give validity to their actions... it would help tojustify what they are doing... in the eyes of the people of Rome. Do we trouble you? I have been up this hour, awake all night. Know I these men that come along with you? Yes, every man of them: and no man here but honours you... and every one doth wish you had but that opinion of yourself... which every noble Roman bears of you. - This is Trebonius. - He is welcome hither. - This, Decius Brutus. - He is welcome too. This, Cascar Cinna, this: - and this, Metellus Cimber. - They are all welcome. Give me your hands all over, one by one. - And let us swear our resolution. - No, not an oath. If these, as I am sure they do... bear fire enough to kindle cowards... and to steel with valour the melting spirits of women... then, countrymen. What need we any spur but our own cause... to prick us to redress? Do not stain the even virtue of our enterprise... nor th' insuppressive mettle of our spirits... To think that or our cause or our performance did need an oath... when every drop of blood that every Roman bears... and nobly bears. Is guilty of a several bastardy... if he betrayal the smallest particle... of any promise that hath passed from him. Shall no man else be touched, but only Casear? Decius, well urged. I think it is not meet Mark Antony, so well beloved of Caesar. Should outlive Caesar. We shall find of him a shrewd contriver. Let Antony and Caesar fall together. Our course will seem too bloody, Caius Cassius... to cut the head off and then hack the limbs... like wrath in death and envy afterwards... for Antony is but a limb of Caesar's. Let's be sacrificers, but not butchers, Caius. We all stand up against the spirit of Caesar. But in men's spirit there is no blood. O, that we then could come by Caesar's spirits... and not dismember Caesar! But alas, Caesar must bleed for it. And, gentle friends, let's kill him boldly, but not wrathfully. Let's carve him as a dish fit for the gods... Not hew him as a carcass fit for hounds. We shall be called purgers, not murderers. And for Mark Antony, think not of him... For he is no more than Caesar's arm when Caesar's head is off. Yet I fear him. For in the engrafted love... Alas, good Cassius, do not think of him. If he love Caesar, all that he can do is to himself... take thought, and die for Caesar. And for that much he should... for he is given to sports, to wildness, and much company. There is no fear in him. Let him not die... For he will live, and laugh at this hereafter. Peace, count the clock. - The clock hath stricken three. - Tis time to part. But it is doubtful yet. Whether Caesar will come forth today or no; For he is superstitious grown of late... it may be these apparent prodigies... the unaccussomed terror of this night... and the persuasion of his augurers may hold him from the Capitol today. Never fear that. If he be so resolved... I shall o'ersway him; Let me work... for I shall give his humour the true bent... and I will bring him to the Capitol. Nay... we will all of us be there to fetch him. The morning comes upon's. We'll leave you, Brutus. And, friends... disperse yourselves but all remember what you have said... - and show yourselves true Romans. - Good gentlemen, look fresh and merrily. Let not our looks put on our purposes; But bear it as our Roman actors do... with untired spirits and formal constancy. And so good morrow to you every one. Brutus tries to turn a murder into an elegant sacrifice. 'Let's carve him as a dish fit for the gods... not as a carcass fit for hounds'. You can't do that when you have got somebody... to kill with energy and ferocity. The image later in the play is of the conspirators as hounds around Caesar. 'Here wast thou bade brave heart... here didst thou fall', says Antony. The image of the stag hunting with the hounds round the bloody corpse. That seems to me to be a piece of serious self-delusion on Brutus' part. Also he tries after the killing... when the blood is running on the floor of the stage... again to create ritual out of it. 'Stoop Roman stoop and dip your hands in Caesar's blood'. Brutus is forced into... justifying the murder of Caesar not because of what Caesar has done... because of what he might do. Now this is pretty dicey, isn't it? To kill somebody... in case they do something that you fear that they might do. What if they wouldn't have done that you have to say... is pretty hard luck on anybody: to be assassinated... on the grounds that they might possibly become... the sort of person Brutus fears Caesar will become. I wish your enterprise today may thrive. What enterprise, Popillius? Fare you well. What said Popillius Laena? He wished today our enterprise might thrive. I fear our purpose is discovered. Look how he makes to Caesar. Mark him. Casca, be sudden, for we fear prevention. Brutus, what shall be done? If this be known, Cassius or Caesar never shall turn back... - for I will slay myself. - Cassius, be constant. Popillius Laena speaks not of our purposes, for look... he smiles, and Caesar doth not change. Trebonius knows his time, look you, Brutus... He draws Mark Antony out of the way. Where is Metellus Cimber? Let him go. And presently prefer his suit to Caesar. He is addressed. Press near, and second him. Are we all ready? What is now amiss that Caesar and his Senate must redress? Most high, most mighty, and most puissant Caesar... Metellus Cimber casts before thy seat... an humble heart. I must prevent thee, Cimber. Be not fond to think that Caesar bears such rebel blood... that will thawed from the true quality with that which melteth fools: I mean sweet words. Low-crooked curtsies... and base spaniel fawning. Thy brother by decree was banished. If thou dost bend and pray and fawn for him... I spurn thee like a cur out of my way. Know Caesar both not wrong but with just cause. Nor without cause will he be satisfied. Is there no voice more worthy than my own... to sound more sweetly in great Caesar's ear... for repealing of my banished brother? I kiss thy hand, but not in flattery, Caesar... desiring thee that Publius Cimber may have immediate freedom of repeal... - What? Brutus... - Pardon, Caesar; Caesar, pardon. As low as to thy foot doth Cassius fall... to beg enfranchisement for Publius Cimber. I could be well moved, if I were as you: If I could pray to move, prayers would move me. But I am Constant as the Northern Star... of whose true fixed and resting quality there is no fellow in the firmament. But I was constant Cimber should be banished... and constant do remain to keep him so. - O Caesar. - Hence! - Wilt thou lift up Olympus? - Great Caesar... Doth not Brutus bootless kneel? Speak, hands for me! Et Tu, Brute? Then fall Caesar. Liberty! Freedom! Tyranny is dead! At the very heart, at the very center of the play... is the killing of the head of the state... but the killing of an older man, by eight younger men. The extraordinary mutilation in the play... their daggers hacking each other in the sides of Caesar... the blades of the daggers are actually scraping against each other... while they are inside Caesar's body. That's the central episode of the play... but it's also a political act of far reaching consequences. Immediately it's over, they try to ritualize it. The stage is running with blood, it's got to be... they bathe their hands in it and then talk of ages hence... this moment being re-enacted as a piece of theatre... and it has been for us with Shakespeare's play... but also this is an archetypal political assassination. We will solve a political problem by killing the head of state. Just as we feel that justice has been done... Shakespeare presents the audience with another dilemma. The crowd sways one way by Brutus, then violently the other by Antony. If you were listening to the great oratory of Brutus and Mark Antony... following the murder of Caesar, which would you believe? Are these rhetorical speeches effective? I think the rhetoric is at the heart of Julius Caesar. It is terribly important the fact that not only the crowd... but the audience too are swayed by the rhetoric... that to some extent Brutus but to a greater extent Mark Antony employed. Now Shakespeare is clever about this... he gives Brutus the speech to the crowd after Julius Caesar's death... he gives him the first speech. It's a good speech... but it's a prose speech rather than a verse one. It sways the crowds for a while... but Shakespeare himself keeps in reserve Mark Antony. One of the greatest mistakes that Brutus makes in the play... is to allow Mark Antony to speak after Brutus. Brutus ought to have let Mark Antony speak first... and then he would have known what he had to get... to stand up against, what he had to compete with. Now Antony is an absolutely brilliant speaker... which is another way of saying that Shakespeare... is an absolutely brilliant creator of rhetoric and of rhetorical speeches... and it always seems to me that the most attractive... the most theatrically and dramatically effective... aspects of this play are the scene in which Mark Antony sways the crowd... and brings them round to oppose Brutus... by appealing to their sentiments about the dead Caesar. Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them; Good is oft interred with their bones. So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus hath told you Caesar was ambitious. If it were so, it was a grievous fault... and grievously hath Caesar answered it. Here, under leave of Brutus and rest for Brutus is an honourable man. So are they all, all honourable man... Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral. He was my friend... faithful and just to me. But Brutus says he was ambitious... and Brutus is an honourable man. He hath brought many captives home to Rome... whose ransoms did the general coffers fill. Did this in Caesar seem ambitious? When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept. Ambition should be made of sterner stuff. Yet Brutus says he was ambitious, and Brutus is an honourable man. You all did see... that on the Lupercal I thrice presented him a kingly crown... which he did thrice refuse. Was this ambition? Yet Brutus says he was ambitious, and sure he is an honourable man. I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke... but here I am to speak what I do know. You all did love him once, not without cause. What cause withholds you then to mourn for him? O judgement, thou art fled to brutish beasts... and men have lost their reason! Brutus, when they are planning the murder... talks about coming by Caesar's spirit... 'oh that we could come by Caesar's spirit... without killing him but alas Caesar must bleed for it'. He would like to kill Caesar's spirit but let his body live on. In fact precisely the reverse happens... and they kill Caesar's body and his spirit lives on. Antony from the very corpse after the assassination releases the spirit... Caesar's the spirit thirsting for revenge with Arty by his side. He is released to haunt the core of the Republic. Good boy, good night. Let me see. Let me see. Is not the leaf turned down where I left reading? Here it is, I think. How ill this taper burns! Ha! Who comes here? I think it is the weakness in my eyes that shapes this monstrous apparition. It comes upon me. Art thou any thing? Art thou some god, some angel... or some devil, that mak'st my blood cold and my hair to stare? - Speak to me what thou art. - Thy evil spirit, Brutus. - Why com'st thou? - Thou shalt see me at Philippi. Well; then I shall see thee again? Ay, at Philippi. Why, I will see thee at Philippi then. Now I have made my heart strong, thou vanishest... I'll spirit, I would hold more words with thee. Julius Caesar is a play about Roman history... just as the English history plays are about the history of England. But of course, the play ends as some of the English history plays do... in multiple deaths. To that extent it is a tragic play. It isn't a single tragedy... it isn't a one man tragedy as one might say Macbeth is, or King Lear is... or Hamlet, but nevertheless... if one had to choose a single figure of the play as a tragic hero... it certainly wouldn't be Caesar. Caesar is... the center of the play up until the end of Act III... but the figure whose story runs through the play... and whose death is the real emotional climax of the play is Brutus. So if this is a tragedy, it is not tragedy of Julius Caesar... it is of Marcus Brutus. O conspiracy... seeks thou to hide thy dangers brow by night when the evils are most free. O' then by day... when are they find the cabin dark enough to mask this monsterous visage. Welcome to Stratford upon Avon... the hometown of William Shakespeare. It was in this small market town that Shakespeare was born... and it was here that he retired at the end of his life... to die, on St George's Day... a day that was coincidentally his own birthday. As you might expect, Stratford is now at the very center... of what you might call, the "Shakespeare Industry". The Royal Shakespeare Company has its headquarters here. The world renowned Shakespeare Center... is custodian of countless irreplaceable Shakespearean documents... and the Shakespeare Institute is one of the leading centers... for the study of Shakespeare, in the world. We shall be drawing upon the resources of all three of those institutions... to bring you what we hope will be, a useful... and valuable insight into the work of the man... who has been justifiably described as the greatest playwright of all time. Macbeth is the story of a Thane of Scotland... who allows himself to be persuaded by a combination of natural... and supernatural forces... to murder the King in order to gain the throne for himself. This sets in motion a frenetic series of events... which culminates in the death of everything which is dear to Macbeth... and finally leads to his own unhappy end. This is the work of a playwright at the height of his powers. It was written comparatively late in Shakespeare's career... and he had by this time, largely abandoned... the more formal verse of earlier plays like Richard II. The writing style has evolved into a mature style... which is less structured and more expressive. In fact, by the time Macbeth was written in 1606... rhyming couplets were used by Shakespeare very infrequently... and then only to mark the end of a scene. I was fortunate enough to play the role of Banquo... in the film you are about to see... so in a small way, I feel qualified to pose a few questions... concerning a man I feel I know very well. I say man, rather than character... because it is a mark of Shakespeare's genius... that his creations come to life so completely... that we do feel we know them almost personally. To lead us off on "Macbeth", with it's theme of the supernatural... we asked Dr. Robert Smallwood of the Shakespeare Center... and Professor Stanley Wells of the Shakespeare Institute... just how Shakespeare's contemporary audiences... may have reacted to the depiction of witchcraft. After all, we're dealing with a society... which was very different to the one which we know today. A lot of fuss is made about Elizabethan audiences' response to the witches. If you really push me I don't much care... how Elizabethan audiences responded to the witches. If we can only understand the play Macbeth... by doing a huge amount of research into Elizabethan beliefs... and Elizabethan laws about witches, then the play is a historical document... and not a work of art. It's Johnson, isn't it? Who says that Shakespeare... was not of an age but for all time and I profoundly believe that. I think what Shakespeare wants from the witches... is a kind of theatricalization of the idea of temptation. Poison venom, sleeping got... Boil thou first i'the charmed pot. Double, double, toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble. The witches are always a problem for modern audiences and modern directors. They are too liable to become pantomime figures... with their odd properties of dead thumbs and that sort of thing... they cast into a cauldron. Finger of birth-strangled babe... Ditch delivered by a drab... There were varied attitudes to witchcraft in Shakespeare's day... just as there are in our own. You can't talk in any sort of overall terms... on the Elizabethan attitude to witchcraft... but we might, for instance, take as an example the attitude of James I... the king at the time that Macbeth was written... who himself had written a book before he was king of England... when he was still king of Scotland, about witchcraft, "Demonology"... in which he shows that he believed at that point in witchcraft. This would have made the witches, I think... a more powerful, imaginative symbol... in Shakespeare's time than they are easily seen to be nowadays... which is why modern directors often have to find... more modern equivalents for the witches in a sense. It could be argued that the most popular play... that Shakespeare wrote was "Macbeth". It is certainly the most frequently performed of the tragedies. It is also the most accessible. The plot is simple and easy to follow... the action is fast paced and gripping in its intensity. Some critics have argued that despite its popularity... this is actually one of the most superficial of the tragedies. Whereas King Lear, written shortly after Macbeth... has been described famously as the "great Stonehenge of the mind"... there remains the suspicion that, in some circles... "Macbeth" is not considered to be one... of the intellectual heavyweights of the Shakespearean cannon... and possibly, we could be dealing here with a work... which is more concerned with action rather than the intellectual content. For my part, I am sure that's not the case... but it is a question that bears closer examination. I think Macbeth certainly is a thriller. It's one of Shakespeare's shortest plays, most violent plays. It's one of Shakespeare's most concentrated plays. It's a play... without any kind of sub-plot at all... and its movement is extraordinarily rapid... from the inception of the idea of killing Duncan... to the final awful consequences of the road that takes Macbeth along. So certainly it's a thriller, also in one very technical sense... in that it almost all takes place in the dark. There is no play of Shakespeare's that is more a night play than Macbeth. My husband! I have done the deed. Didst thou not hear a noise? I heard the owl scream and the cricket's cry. Did not you speak? - When? - Now. - As I descended? - Aye. Hark! Who lies i'the second chamber? Donalbain. This is a sorry sight. It is a thrilling and exciting story... but it is a lot more than that too. It's a play that works on many levels at once... and the reason why it is regarded as a great play, I suppose... rather than just a good melodrama... is the way that it does explore... more fundamental aspects of the human condition. One cried 'God bless us! ' and 'Amen' the other; As they had seen me with these hangman's hands. Listening their fear... I could not say 'Amen' when they did say 'God bless us'. - Consider it not so deeply. - But wherefore could not I say 'Amen'? I had most need of blessing, and 'Amen' stuck in my throat. These deeds must not be thought after these ways; So, it will make us mad. Macbeth is accompanied in the early part of the play by my character... a fellow warrior and noble of Scotland, called Banquo. While Macbeth takes the path into darkness and evil... Banquo remains true to the noble qualities and loyalty... which we can see is in him. Critics often comment that Banquo is the mirror image of Macbeth... the Macbeth that could have been, had he stayed on the right path. It is a topic that hopefully repays some detailed examination. Banquo might almost be seen as a conscience figure for Macbeth. He is important, partly because in the opening episode... in which he and Macbeth are first seen... Banquo and Macbeth come on together... both of them are presented with the same temptation... but Banquo is the one who does not yield to temptation. As the play goes on... Banquo retains this symbolic function... as a sort of counterpoint to Macbeth, as his conscience... in the sense that Macbeth has to kill Banquo, kill his conscience... before he can go on to commit the crimes of the rest of the play. Thou hast it now: King, Cawdor, Glamis... all as the weird women promised; and I fear thou playest most foully for't. We haven't any idea at that point... that Macbeth is going to move against Banquo. He has said nothing to the audience whatsoever... but the audience immediately hearing Banquo... thinks this man is a danger to Macbeth... and Macbeth we have taken into our confidence. It seems to me that the audience thinks of the idea of killing Banquo... before we know that Macbeth has thought of the idea of killing Banquo. You can't totally kill conscience. Murder is not enough... so that Macbeth still retains... within himself the capacity to be moved by Banquo... even after Banquo has died. The conscience is still partly there... and that's why the banquet scene is such a powerful... and moving scene as it is, I think. The relationship between Macbeth and Lady Macbeth... alters dramatically by the time Macbeth has committed the last of his crimes. She descends into madness, while he appears to be gathering strength... and resolve to, in his words, "try the last". Macbeth and Lady Macbeth in the early part of the play... are portrayed as an ideal married couple. My dearest love... Duncan comes here tonight. - And when goes hence? - Tomorrow, as he purposes. Stop! Stay out of it! General! They were ordered to attack from the rear not sit around in Dang-po! They're not soldiers, they're not my subordinates, they're bunch of idiots who are better off dead! We are here to kill the enemy, not our own! Your men were lured into a trap. I couldn't be more bitter about the defeat, but we must stay clear-beaded. The enemy is still strong. It is time for us to regroup. We must figure out a way to redress this defeat. Reorganize the troops immediately and contact Kamei! I will slay Yi Soon-shin with my own hands! I will slay every single Chosunese that comes my way and wipe out the race! I will wipe them out! All of them! Let us go to Saryang. Constable Kwon! Are you suggesting that we strike Dang-po alone? Magistrate Uh, how does the tide look? If we launch before the fourth of the month, we will have favorable tidal current. Commander Kim, let us launch a reconnaissance ship tomorrow at dawn. Got it, sir. Why are you acting so hastily? I don't understand you or the High Commander's actions. It's the High Commander's decision. And as his subordinates, it is our duty to carry out his order the best that we can. If we engage in another battle, again the High Commander will not retreat no matter what. You'd send him into battle in his condition? Is that loyalty? Constable Kwon, Commander Yi has a point. Even if we have all the advantages and we can defeat the enemy in Dang-po, then what? 12 ships in Sa-chun, 30 ships in Dang-po? Then what? We could be up against 50, no, 100 ships. But our troops will grow tired and we will soon run of out food supply. We can't do this alone. It's just not possible. But we cannot turn our backs on the people and leave. Think about the torture they will be subjected to. We must break the enemy's will. We must defeat them all the way. We must show them that any attempt to avenge their defeat on the civilians will have disastrous results. That is the will of the High Commander. It is also the reason why this navy, no, the entire military force of Chosun, exists. I don't intend to defy his command. I believe it mustn't be defied. High Commander... You're... Garrison Captain of Nok-do Chung Oon, sir. What brings you here at this late hour? I have something to give. you, High Commander I engraved the words "Extreme Loyalty to Repay the Kingdom" and never let it out of my hands since the day I was sworn into service. "Extreme Loyalty to Repay the Kingdom"... It's Ngok Fei. A resolve never to retreat from battle like Ngok Fei? It is no wonder you are the best assault team commander of Chosun. But... by giving me your sword, do you wish to come under my command? Slay the enemy with that sword. That's what I've come to request. Why are you reluctant to collaborate with the Left Cholla Navy? Do you perhaps think my superior an inferior man who seeks honor and advancement by stealing credit for his comrade's achievements? You couldn't be more wrong if you do. On that very battle, defied his command despite the fact that he is my direct superior. It was to follow High Commander Won, of course. For it, I was made to suffer intolerable humiliation before my own men. But I have no bitterness or resentment for my superior. In fact, I am still ashamed of what I have done. If we had fought High Commander Won's way, the Chosun Navy would've suffered a major loss. High Commander of Left Cholla Navy is not a very clever man. He is not selfish enough to harm another person for his own honor. But there is one thing that he does desire. And for that one thing, he will not stop fighting until his bones turn to ashes. Do you know what that is? It is the safety of this country. He cannot let go of his extreme loyalty to repay the kingdom. Do not doubt him. Extend your hand to him. It is not his burden alone to repay the kingdom with loyalty. Captain... "Extreme loyalty to repay the kingdom..." Constable Kwon, what are you doing here? Sir... Captain Chung brought me a sword. What have you brought me? Sir...? High Commander. Commander of Bang-dap Yi Soon-shin requests to see you. Do you think High Commander Yi sent them? Sir, I believe they were sent by those much more powerful than High Commander Yi... or the King, for that matter. The people of Chosun. Help them, High Commander. It is the Right Cholla Navy's turn to save the people of this kingdom. June 2nd, 1592. Yi Soon-shin's Left Cholla Navy launched another attack on the Japanese invasion force in Dang-po. The enemy commander on this battle battle was Gurojima Mikiyuchi who had previously been routed in Sa-chun. Struck by Kwon Joon's arrow, Gurujima met his demise that day. In Yi Soon-shins 5th sea battle, the Battle of Dang-po, 21 Japanese ships were destroyed and 2.820 Japanese soldiers died in action. Winning is becoming a habit, High Commander! Sir! It's a counterattack, sir. Alert the fleet! Return to your positions and prepare for battle! Yes, sir! Third place: Kang Do-hyung, Min Hyung-suk, Han Joon-pil! Second place: Yi Suk-woo, Shin Jin-hwa! First place: A scholar of Ahsan Song Byung-tek! Make way! Make way for the first place winner! Make way! Make way for the first place winner! Huh? ! What's he doing on that horse? Soon-shin! Soon-shin! Soon-shin, what happened? How did this happen? Why him? How did that no-good bastard take first place? Soon-shin, talk to me! What went wrong? Why, sir? I must know why you made such an unfair decision? Are you really oblivious as to why you failed? Ask your father. How dare you even think to apply for the exam! There is no place for descendents of traitors in the royal court? Good hunting today. Here, it's your share. I was the lead today, isn't that right? Then my share is larger than that. Why are you sitting out here, wife? Oh, you're back. It's been months since the exam, and Shoo-shin is yet to find peace. I'm concerned. Will he ever be all right? One must hit the bottom to bounce back. He must undergo what he must. Let's just watch him. I shouldn't have encouraged him. I had resented you. A part of me was angry with you for not allowing the boys to pursue their studies. And I had hopes. I believed that someone in this world would give my boy a chance... that their spirit and talent would be recognized... Innkeeper! Innkeeper! Bring me more wine! More wine! I'm coming! Stop this now. Stop! I can only take so much of this! Are you going to drink your life away? Go home if you're not going to drink with me. Don't you think you're overdoing it? I know you're hurt, but this is too much. It's just a darn exam. You never wore a scholar's robe before anyway. Stay out of my life. How could I? Who are you to tell how to live my life? Who am I? How could you say such a heartless thing? I'm your friend salt merchant Yim Chun-su. A friend, yes, we're friends... Come to think of it. We make a fine pair. You're a peasant's son and I am a traitors son. We make a fine pair. Are you done? Is that why you're my friend? Because you're poor and your grandfather was a traitor? Are you saying you wouldn't have been my friend if you came from a rich and powerful clan? Fine then. Do what you want. You can drink yourself to death for all I care! Would you pour me a glass of that? Is it hard to bear? I'm glad. I'm glad this happened to me and not to Yo-shin. Ten years... For ten years this river has been the source of comfort. And in that time I had put it all behind. Time tames the strongest grief. My father's bitter grief, rage against the world that crushed me. I put it all behind me and forgot about them. And I had hoped that world would forget as well. But the world was not so kind. The same shackles that tied me down have now tied you down, and I am powerless to free you from it. Father... That jerk. I'm the fool for having thought of him as a friend! What are you mumbling about? What are you doing here, Father? Didn't I tell you to stay home and rest? I can rest when I'm dead. I should work as much as I can when I can. If you keep that up, you will be dead! Don't worry. It's sick men like me that live to be seventy! I won't die until you're married-no. I mean until your children are married! What? ! The people are refusing to pay their taxes? Sir, there are riotous protests. Imposing another tax so soon after the last collection is... Then are you going to pay for them? They protest bee use they don't realize the severity of their crime. Isn't that so? Yes, sir. Then what should we do? Pardon? You're so dense! Think! We need to show them an example. An example? Yes, and we don't need many. One should be enough. Do you understand what I am talking about? Sir, you have to leave us with something to live on before you collect the tax. Please don't be so cruel. Boy, there's not getting through to you! So what are you saying? Are you not going to pay your taxes? We would if we could, but we can't afford to. Don't you realize tax evasion is a serious crime? Don't waste my time! Please! What are you waiting for? Take the salt and load it up! No! You might as well be telling us to die! Step aside? No, you'll have to kill me first? How are you interfere with government business! What are you waiting for? Arrest him! No, Father? Or they'll take you to. Father! Father! Father! Chun-su's, Father? What do you mean, Mother? I don't know why, but I'm told they were arrested and badly punished by the officials. It looked like he was unconscious when I saw him. Father, please wake up! Father! Father! Chun-su... Are you all right? You should've just let them take the dam salt! Why did you fight? That's salt is our livelihood, and I won't be robbed of it. I have to get you married off, and... What's more important than your life? I'm sorry... I'm your father, and I have nothing but poverty and hardship to leave behind... Stop that, Father. Chun-su, look under the ashes in the furnace. The Furnace... Father! Chun-su... My dear boy Chun-su... Father...! Father...! Why didn't just give it to them? Why didn't he? That old fool! What's more important than his life? Why didn't he get treatment when he had all this? That fool! That idiot! That old fool! I won't let them get away with this! Father...! Father...! My poor Father...! Chun-su! Chun-su, are you home? What's your business? I didn't expect you here. Where is Chus-su? What do you want with a man in mourning? Mourning? Oh... His old man was weak with asthma for a long time. Well, would you give him a message? He must pay his taxes without more ado. Taxes? Did you say taxes? You took a man and beat him to death, and you want to collect taxes? Are you accusing me of murder? The whole village knows that he was dying of asthma! What? He died of asthma? ! Say that again. Say that again, you bastard! I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you and kill myself! Chun-su! Get out of there! Don't aggravate a man in mourning! Very well. I'll go. But he still has to pay his taxes. If it is not receive within five days... Get out of here this instant! Men, let's go. Father...! Yi Soon-shin that boy interfered with the tax collection? How dare he! That kid knows no bounds! I will not let him get way with this! You mean you're going to challenge the magistrate? Yes, and I must know how much you paid in taxes in order to make a case. So if you could think back... Don't waste your time. But you've seen what happened to Chun-su's father. If we tolerate this injustice they will continue to... Don't you have anything better to do? Magistrate Song won't even flinch. If he won't hear me out, I will take it to the provincial court. I guess you don't know how it is for lowly peasants like us since you're a nobleman. - Son. - Let me talk, Father. Okay. Do you think that the peasants would still be living like this if we could change anything by going to the courts? It's useless? Please, Madam... Sir, would you mind telling me how much you've paid in taxes this year? Father, don't buy into what that man is doing. But if he can do what he says he can, wouldn't that be good for us? If you play with fire you get burned. Sometimes it's best to lie down. Okay, Father? Chun-su, are you home? Wake up! Your friend is stirring up trouble! Whatever. Are you going to let him kill us all? I don't care! Fine! Do whatever you want! Why did you come back? Leave me alone! Chun-su. What do you want? I looked into the tax collection in the village. In all, we've paid over 70% of our harvest in taxes. I bet there is not another saltern city in the country that paid so much! I'm going to... Give it up! Chun-su... What's this going to change? Will it bring my father back? Don't make me in a difficult spot and give it a rest. Chun-su... I don't want anything to do with this, so give it up. Soon-shin. Mother... Where are you going so early? What are you up to? And what's that written in that book? Mother... A friend's father is dead. And if I don't do something, my friend may not be safe either. But this isn't something you can resolve. I know. I know what's scaring you, Mother. But I have to do this. If I don't, I'll never forgive myself. Soon-shin! Let him go. Husband...! Who are you and what do you want? I'm a local salt cooker named Pan-dong, sir. And? I came to give you an important information. Could I possibly get my tax reduced in return? What? Is this a joke? ! No, no! You'll have a big problem in your hands unless something is done! A big problem? Sir, are you all right? Thanks. Be careful. Arrest this man! What is the meaning of this! Let go! We know what you've been going around doing. I have done nothing wrong! We'll find out once we get to the government canter. Take him away! Let go! Let go of me! Chun-su! Something terrible has happened! They arrested Soon-shin! Pardon? They might hurt him if we don't do something! It's all right. He's a noble. He doesn't have to pay taxes. They won't hurt him. I think this is the reason why they took him, but we're stumped since none of us can read. Here. Did you think you could get away with interfering with government business? Government business? Tax is imposed by the law! Collection is mandatory and just! Do you contend that it is just to extract the blood and sweat of the people under all kinds outlandish pretexts? What kind of law levies over 70% of the people's earnings? How dare you! It is said fair taxation is the essence of peaceful rule. I demand that you stop this misrule and return the wrongfully collected funds to the people! Give what belongs to the King to the people? Now you malign His Majesty the King! It must be in your blood to defy the government. Very well. I shall send you to Royal Justice Agency where you will be punished for breaking the law and maligning the King! What are you going to do? I must find out what happened. I'm glad we caught you. What brings you? There's something I'd like to show you. What does it say? Tell us. What does it say? I have a friend. He dries salt for a living. He is a man of gentle soul who works hard and feels content with his life. But he recently lost his father in an incident of brutality while protesting excessive levy imposed by the county magistrate. He and his father's only crime is being poor and speaking up against injustice. It is said that a governor is the father of the people. I humbly ask you to tend to your children with love. Deign to see the pain and suffering of my friend and those like him. Chun-su, what are you doing? ! They'll take everything away anyway. I'd rather bum it myself. I'm going to destroy everything and follow my friend. Chun-su! Please tend to my father's grave. He's burned everything! Who's next? First old man Yim then his son Chun-su: who's next? Say something! Are you mute? Don't get involved, Father. Hush up, boy? Old man Yim was like family to us. But we just let them take him. Heck, we didn't even go to his funeral because we were afraid! What do we have except our friends? If we lowly peasants don't stick together, who are we to trust and depend on? Who goes there! Soon-shin, I'm here for you! It's me. Yim Chun-su! Soon-shin! Soon-shin! It's me, Yim Chun-su! Soon-shin! Soon-shin! What are you waiting for? Stop this man! Go ahead! Go ahead and kill me! Release my friend and kill me instead! Stop! Magistrate! Magistrate! What's this commotion? There's trouble! What's going on? Release the innocent man! Release Yi Soon-shin! Release him! Release the innocent man! Release Yi Soon-shin and take me instead, you evil bastards! Sir, I have a bad feeling about this. They might break the gates down and storm inside! What? Break down the gates of the government center? I would advise you to release the prisoner for now. What? You want me to give in to those lowly peasants? Sir, are you aware about the civil unrest of Pyung-tek two years ago? Civil unrest? The government agency was looted and several officials were stoned to death! Release Yi Soon-shin! Release the innocent man! Soon-shin! Soon-shin, are you all right? Did they hurt you? I'm sorry... I'm your friend and I let them do this on account of me... Father...! What you did was righteous, but the magistrate will disagree. Stay away from Ahsan for a while. But... Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't lose the spirit and courage you showed today. And someday, you will restore your grandfather's good name and revive this clan. You will be able to change the world as you so desire. Father...! Are we doing the right thing? Let him go. Heaven has made him with a purpose I'm sure... Forgive me, sir... Yi Soon-shin? That bastard is out to destroy me! Yi Soon-shin, that bastard! Soon-shin! Chun-su! Where are you going alone? You're not running away without me, are you? Chun-su... I'm coming with you. I'm sick of this place. What am I going to do here in Ahsan without you and without my father? Soon-shin! Soon-shin! Let's stop and rest for a while? No, we have to be out of Chun-an before dawn. But I can't take another step! We have to go. I can't! Let me get a drink of water at least. Chun-su, let's get going! Hold your horses? I have to finish up! Who are you? ! An angel of death here to send you to hell! Double the reconnaissance and issue a full alert! Prepare the weapons! The spirit of the soldiers will decide the battle, so do all that is possible to boost their morale! Five days, Admiral. You only have five days left to move your men back out to the Gogeumdo Headquarters. Emissary... If you disobey, General Yu Jong will step in and force you out. And the royal court will send the Royal Prosecutor and his guards to bring you in. You don't want to go through that shameful experience in front of your men again, do you? The greatest shame for a warrior is showing his back to the enemy, Emissary. Look, Admiral... Congratulations. The King of Chosun has granted your request. I wouldn't call it a request. This is the way it should be. General Konishi was very pleased, and said he would send additional one thousand heads. When should we launch a messenger craft? That's up to your leader to decide. Just let me know when, and I will have them allow passage. Are you certain we don't have to worry about Yi Soon-shin? What can he possibly do when he is no longer in command? If he takes any action without my authorization, I will strike him down without hesitation. Thank you. At last we can breathe a sigh of relief. We must contact General Yu Jong. You saw Admiral Yi's attitude. He didn't even listen to you. You can't let him ignore you like this. Contempt for you is contempt for the King. He could be charged with treason right now. Be patient. Sir... We will wait until the agreed date. We can take necessary action thereafter. Will the emissary be able to hold Yi Soon-shin back? It is unlikely. But if he defies the emissary, he will be defying the King. He might yield this time if he remembers what happened to him last time. Not Yi Soon-shin. He never compromises what he believes to be righteousness. Should I call him naive or should I call him foolish? He may know war, but he doesn't know a thing about politics. But if he knew anything about politics, he couldn't have turned this war around. And that's also the reason why people flock around him. Are you praising the man, Lord Yoon? Of course not. I know your concerns, Royal Attendant. The ignorant people's blind support for Yi Soon-shin evolving into political power and creating state of extreme chaos... I do not want that. That is why we sent the emissary. Be patient. He will soon give us a justifiable reason to suppress Yi Soon-shin. Two small Japanese vessels are slipping away. Admiral, they're Konishi's messenger boats! If we don't stop them, we could be attacked from both sides. What's happening? It's the Japanese. They have launched their messenger boats. We must sink them! Only Commander Yu Jong can issue such orders. It will be too late if we wait for Yu Jong's orders! If they get away, you will be killed as well! Admiral Yi does not have the right of command. He is not to take independent action. That is the order of the King! Practice restraint, Admiral. Admiral, they have passed the big island! If we don't act now, it will be too late! Very well. I'll will go! And I will assume full responsibility! No one is to take hostile action! What? Admiral, give me your command! Are you going to let it end like this? Do not take action. Your life and your men's lives are at stake. Admiral, we're running out of time! If they pass Hando Island, they will be out of our reach. It is high treason! Admiral! Go after them! What happened? They launched the ships. Yi Soon-shin has taken action! How dare he! After them! Don't let them get away! Full speed ahead! Don't let them get away! Clear the path! We're in pursuit of enemy vessels! Who ordered the pursuit? They are enemy vessels! They must be captured! Turn your men around! It is Commander Yu Jong's order! Now! What? They will be expecting it. Arrest them! They are certain to be Japanese spies! Sir! What is the meaning of this! How dare you intercept a missive to the King! You will be hung for this! They were sneaking away in darkness, so I thought they were Japanese spies. What has happened? Perhaps you could ask the emissary, sir. Admiral, I demand that you punish this man immediately! Your Majesty, Supreme Naval Commander Yi Soon-shin takes your royal command lightly and refuses to obey Commander Yu Jong. Also, relying on his military power and large following, he looks upon the King and the royal court with contempt and moves his troops without restraint. Hence it is advised that Yi and his men be charged with treason. How dare you! You will be charged with treason as well! What are you waiting for? Arrest him! Yes. Treason? Did you say treason? Very well. Then I will slay you first and march to the capital! Stop! Don't stop us, Admiral! If we are criminals of treason what does that make our men? We are not treasonous rebels! Kill them! Kill them! What are you waiting for, Admiral? Arrest these men now! Admiral, what do we have to lose at this point? Let us slay these men and change this world! What? Or I will slay these men and take my own life! Admiral! Very well. I will slay these men and march to the capital! Admiral! Put down your swords! Are you intent on becoming a traitor, Admiral? A traitor? Did you say a traitor? The Japanese killed your father and took your mother. Is that correct? Admiral... Your sister hung herself after being raped by an enemy soldier. Isn't that right? Yes, Admiral! Chun Woo-song! This man's infant son starved to death next to his mother. Do you know why? Because the Japanese killed his mother by cutting off her breasts! Now do you understand? This is why we can't stop fighting. If it is a crime to try and end these atrocities, if we are traitors for trying to defeat the enemy, by god we will be traitors! We will march to battle without hesitation and we will accept our punishment with pride when we return triumphant! Admiral...! Escort him in. Yes, sir! Hail the Admiral! Hail the Admiral! You will be under our care from now on, sir. How dare you? Do you know the crime you're committing? I'm sure the messenger boat has reached Shimazu and Wakizaka in Sachun by now. They will attempt a joint attack within days. We'll just have to intercept them on their return. That's all. Konishi has no other way of confirming or not he has aid. That's right. Send me out there one more time, sir. No, that won't be necessary. If the Messenger boat returns safety, they will think that I have indeed lost my right of command. And it will be easier for us to lure them out. Lure them, sir? We will lure the entire Japanese fleet of 400 ships out to the water. Admiral, that's enough ships to completely encircle this island. We don't stand a chance against them in a frontal assault. If we're not careful, what happened in Chilchundo could happen again. The time and location of the fight will be the deciding factor. Commandant Kim, if you were the enemy leader, when would you attack? There're 80 ships in Wekyo and over 300 in Sachun, so Sachun would definitely lead the battle. They will choose a day that provides favorable conditions for Sachun to attack and favorable conditions that accommodates their escape back to Japan should the joint attack be a success. Favorable conditions for the joint attack and escape... When would that be? Attack Yi Soon-shin's camp in Yudo on November 19th? Yes, General. Water level is high for three days after the spring tide, and the current will be favorable, so it is the best day for battle? General Konishi is impressive. In order to sail clear to Japan, we need the water to be calm. I'm sure he took that into consideration as well. Yes... But So... Yi Soon-shin is likely to have figured all of this out the moment he saw Yoshira's messenger craft getting away. General... There is nothing Yi Soon-shin does not know about naval warfare. His knowledge is almost supernatural. So he will place his men at the best location and wait for us to sail right into his trap. Where do you think that location is? Noryang Channel, sir? But will Wakizaka come through Noryang? He fell into similar traps twice in Hansando and Myongryang and suffered crushing defeat both times. He probably learned his lesson by now. If he has any brains, he will avoid Noryang. That's why we will have to make him come. How? We can't hit him in the head and make him stupid... All we have to do is abandon Noryang. Pardon? Avoid Noryang and go around Mijo to the open sea? But sir, the open sea is very rough and dangerous. Unless we're prepared for some losses... If we go through Noryang, we could lose the entire fleet. That's the painful lesson I learned in Myongryang. We will go around Mijo as close to the shore as possible and strike Yi Soon-shin's fleet positioned in Noryang from the rear. Deliver it to General Kwon Yul immediately. Yes, sir. Commander... Don't worry, sir. I will go. No, that's crazy. Woo-song... Commander, let me go. Lt. Suh can't go. The Japanese will recognize him. I will go instead. You won't make it back alive. I know, sir. Chun Woo-song... It will make my wife and my son proud. Confirm Chun Woo-song's position and go directly to the Field Marshal. Yes, sir. Chun Woo-song! Everything is riding on this letter. This is our last chance to wipe out the enemy. We will exact revenge for you and your family. I will sacrifice my life for the mission, sir. What brings you here? I have a request. A request? I will strike Konishi again on the 18th of this month. Without Yu Jong and the ground forces? That's right. Are you proposing that you and I strike Wekyo alone? No. I'm asking you to make the Japanese think that Chosun Navy will attack Wekyo on the 18th. I know about our meetings with the Japanese, Admiral. Tell them that I am preparing a full-force attack on the Wekyo. Give away classified information about a top secret operation? Yes. They will believe you. If I'm right, this could decide the fate of your navy or perhaps the fate of this country Chosun. Why me? Why are you asking me to do such an important task? I gave you that answer when I gave you the galleys. All right. Let's do this. The people of this country will be deeply grateful. What is it? It's a secret memo from Yi Soon-shin to Kwon Yul. What's the content? He will launch a second attack on Wekyo Fort on the 18th and seeks assistance of the ground troops. Yi Soon-shin is launching a second attack on Konishi? This is our chance. We can strike Yi from the rear and save my father-in-law. Oh? But why was this boy going to Gon-yang? And of all roads to chose from, why by way of our camp? Take him and find out. And send a few men to Gon-yang. Are the contents of the letter accurate? I don't know anything. Why did you land on our beach? I was swept off course by a storm. Why were you headed to Gon-yang? Don't you know anything? General Kwon Yul is in Gon-yang assembling an army. You're not an adjutant or a special agent, but you were assigned to deliver classified information to the Field Marshal. That's unlike Yi Soon-shin. You were sent here to deceive us. Isn't that true? Admiral Yi does not discriminate between ranks. He is unlike you men that treat your subordinates like animals! Bastard! This land that you're standing on is where I was born. I know this area like the back of my hand. I suggest you tell the truth if you want to live. Kill me. I've failed to accomplish my mission, so I'm dead anyway! Yi Soon-shin will strike Wekyo on the 18th? It's a land-sea joint attack with Kwon Yul, General. For another thousand heads, Jin Lin will stay out of the battle along with Yu Jong. I think we should take the deal. We want to reduce the number of enemy as much as we can. Send another message to Shimizu and Wakizaka. On November 18, we will stain the shores of Shinsung-po red with the enemy's blood. Yes, sir. Konishi has taken the bait. He has agreed to deliver the heads to Admiral Jin. Enemy believes that we will strike Shinsung-po of Wekyo. And Shimizu and Wakizaka will lead their fleet through Noryang without suspicion. And we will be waiting in Noryang to sink them. Lt. Na... We acquired cooperation from local merchants and fishermen as you ordered, sir. The merchant ships have been fitted with weapons and archers and gunners have been placed in position. Commander Yi... Yes, sir. You are me from now on. Konishi must be deceived completely. Yes, sir. I won't let you down, sir. Once the enemy fleet starts coming through Noryang, we will force them into Kwanumpo. Choong-chung Navy will cut the convoy in half from the flank, and flight Cholla Navy will attack those caught in Noryang. The main force and the Left Kyung-sang Navy will finish off the enemy at Kwanumpo. If Konishi should manage to escape, he will go to Mijo. Construct a signal tower on the Southern Sea Island This battle will be the final battle that puts an end to this long seven year war. Eliminate the enemy completely so that can never invade this country Chosun again. You have my confidence. I have ordered my men to prepare a boat. They will take you to the mainland in the morning. Please forgive me for the inconveniences I made you suffer. To fight the enemy ten times our size on a treacherous battlefield, morale is the most important weapon that my soldiers need. If there is confusion and disorder in the camp, morale will crumble, and we cannot defeat the enemy. Admiral... My duty as a warrior is to destroy the enemy and end this war completely may it be at the cost of my life. I believe this is what His Majesty truly wants from me as well. Admiral, but you... Lastly, I have a request. Please take care of my men. They are men of pure heart who have risked their lives everyday for the past seven years with single determination to protect the country. Please help them so that His Majesty does not question their loyalty. Admiral! Release the emissary, sir? Isn't not a wise decision, sir. When we win the battle and return triumphant the Royal Prosecutor's chains will be waiting for you. The power of truth is stronger than you think, Commander Yi. The world is not pure and righteous as you believe, sir. Do you wish to throw stones? I want to change the world. If you throw stones into muddy water, water will turn more muddy. Admiral... Don't try to change the world with hot blood and rage. If a soldier bears such hasty ambitions, his men will turn their swords on their own brothers. But... Remember, Commander Yi. A soldier's duty ends with stopping the swords that threaten his country. Once upon a time there was warrior. When a war broke out in his country, he fought with all his might and destroyed the enemy. Without him, the country would've crumbled and the people would've fallen in despair. There was a King. When a war broke out, he hastily fled his palace. He deserted his people and scrambled to save himself. Your Majesty... Then the war ended. The warrior had the trust of the people and a strong and faithful army, but the King only had powerless ministers and a disorderly mob... Your Majesty... What would you do? What would you do if you were the King with the duty to preserve the royal line? Your Majesty, Yi Soon-shin is your faithful retainer. Do not doubt his loyalty. A faithful retainer... I, too, wish to believe that he is a faithful retainer. And if he is indeed, I am certain he will figure out a way to protect the country and protect the authority of the Royal House as well. "Reprieve" I spare you from death... Your Majesty, did you say you would spare me from death? Uncle, it's Wan. Come in. I heard you were looking for me. Send this to the headquarters in Gogeumdo. What is it, Uncle? They are my diaries. A testimony of the atrocities of the seven year war. I hope no one will ever have to make such records again. Uncle... Perhaps I have worn it too long... General... It looks like the kid is telling the truth. We just received report that Kwon Yul's entire army moved out to Soon-chun last night. The contents of that letter are true? And there was my father-in-law's report as well. He paid one thousand heads to Jin Lin for it. It has to be true. Yi Soon-shin has left Noryang open? Is this assign from god? Send a report to General Shimazu. We must pass through Noryang tonight at full speed and strike Yi Soon-shin from the rear! Yes, sir! Yoshihiro! Aye! Check the assault team for readiness once again. They have to be right there on Yi Soon-shin's command ship the moment that we attack his fleet and throws them into confusion. Is that understood? Aye! Honey! Honey! Honey! Honey! My son! We've decided to let you live. If we win the battle, your lives will be spared. You will be our oarsmen! Row the oars on the ships that will destroy Yi Soon-shin! No way! You want me to dirty my hands and row a Japanese ship? Never! No? Do you think I will put you out of your misery? Wake up. Haven't you learned your lesson? Chosun Navy is the strongest navy there is. My comrades will chop off all of your heads, you wicked bastards! Long live Chosun! Long live Chosun! Hail Admiral Yi Soon-shin! Hail Admiral Yi Soon-shin! All of us are sinners. In the past seven years, we've buried countless comrades of war at sea. If we failed to put an end to this war, if we fail to deliver justice for the pain and suffering of our people, we will forever be bound by our sins! Today, we 16.000 soldiers of Chosun, go to war with faces of sinners. But tomorrow, we will return triumphant with faces of champions! Do not let one single enemy ship, one single enemy soldier escape alive! Long Live Chosun! Long Live Chosun! Yim Chun-su an Kim Bok-nam, you are under arrest! What are you doing? I haven't done anything wrong! Let go of me! I'm not a criminal! Let go! Wait! This is a mistake! These men are innocent! Step side! No! These men are innocent! That is to be determined by the Royal Repository? What happened, sir? What do you mean? Like you told me, they've been toying with the grading of the salt and making a profit on the tributary goods. But they were following your orders! I've assigned them to collect the tributary foods, but I didn't tell them to lie about its quality and pocket the difference. Have you no fear for he gods? I don't know why you are angry with me, but I'm victim as well. Those men have caused terrible injury to the reputation of my business! Do you think you can place the blame on them and get away with this? I will not let you. I will reveal the truth no matter what! Sure, do whatever you wish. Stop! Speak the truth! This is injustice. We were just following the baron's orders. Where do you think you are to utter such a blatant lie! Do you wish to die? No, sir. It's the truth! You still refuse to confess? What are you waiting for? Continue the torture until they speak! Ju Tae-moon knows no bounds. He bypassed the Court of Equity and made an arrest! I'm not surprised. They made their move, an we cannot idly stand by. They think they're off the hook if they can cover up the crime involving tributary goods, but we have evidence of other crimes. Do we really have a chance against them? I feel bad for the two men who are unjustly suffering, but this may give us a chance to make a forceful counterstrike. All right. I will rally the scholars as soon as possible. I will go back to the Internal Affairs Agency and plot my own course of action. The Royal Repository was originally set up to manage food items and miscellaneous supplies that are being used in the palace and to oversee the staffing of servants. But recently, his agency has been committing all kinds of unlawful acts in the process of acquiring supplies. And it's been confirmed that men like Yoon Won-hyung with close relations to His Majesty are involved in these criminal activities. What's more, when a part of their operation became exposed, a number of eunuchs arbitrarily set up a detention facility punishing innocent men to cover up their crimes. This cannot be tolerated. Accordingly, we will present His Majesty with a letter of appeal and wait for his reply in the palace in a sit-in demonstration. Explain this, Prime Minister! It says that you and Attendant Ju are abusing your authority and tyrannizing the people! It is a outrageous accusation, Your Majesty! How could servants of the state dare tyrannize the people? Then why do the scholars claim that you do? What do you suggest? The scholars of Sung-kyun Academy cannot be ignored. No, it can not, Your Majesty. The academy scholars' appeals have never been ignored no matter how trivial since the founding of this kingdom. Accordingly, I advise you to respond that you will conduct a thorough investigation and bring the truth to light. What is your opinion, Prime Minister? I agree with the Internal Affairs Minister. I advise you to conduct a thorough investigation. Very well. I will respond as you advise. Sung-ryon, how did it go? His Majesty has accepted our appeal. Is this true? Let us wait. Your friend would be released once the truth is revealed. Is there... a problem? What are these? These records are different from the records I saw the other day! I don't know what you mean. I had copied these records word for word! I don't believe this! Did anyone alter these records after my visit? I demand the truth! Whatever do you mean? Alter the files? These are the very same documents you saw the other day. Perhaps you made a mistake the other day. What? ! What do you mean you can't find the evidence? You assured me that you had irrefutable proof! It appears they have altered their records. Alter the records? That's absurd? You must believe me, sir. You saw my copy of this records. But I can't do anything with suspicion alone. We are dealing with His Majesty's two right-hand men. Without the original, your copy doesn't proved thing. In fact, it will do more to prove their innocence. Allow me to subpoena the entire Royal Repository staff and eunuchs. If we question them, we will find proof of misconduct in handling official documents as well. I was terrified when you agreed with Minister Oh about conducting a thorough investigation! The Prime Minister never misses a thing! But the Internal Affairs is going to reinvestigate. It's not going to help us if they call in the entire staff and question them one by one. No, but don't worry. We've been through worse than this. The physical evidence is gone, but they know the truth. They won't give up that easy. We have to deliver a final blow. We will know soon enough whether this will destroy us or strengthen His Majesty's trust for us. Report you findings. The two prisoners have confessed their crimes, but they were unlawfully arrested and punished. We have yet to find evidence that support the other charges, but... No evidence? Are you telling me that the Internal Affairs and Sung-Kyun Academy have been acting on suspicion alone? But there're many questionable issues, and we wish to continue our investigation. Internal Affairs Minister. Prime Minister... I commend you for your hard work. I'm just... Do yo have a moment for some tea? Send you away? What do you mean? Your Majesty, I have caused you great distress with my negligence. My subordinate's failures and misconducts are my responsibility and I deserve to be punished. I do not fear for myself, but I fear I might cause you harm. No, how could I possibly dismiss you? You were always by my side like a brother, and you took care of me like a father. Your grace is immeasurable. Your kind words alone are enough for me, so... No, I said. I shall protect you, so cast aside your fears. Your grace is immeasurable! The Internal Affairs Agency has conducted an Investigation against the Royal Repository in response to a petition by the scholars of Sung-kyun Academy. The following is my response upon conclusion of that investigation. This is not the first time the Royal Repository enforced the law. The defendants were justly punished for their attempt to disregard the standard set by the law in collection of tributary goods and deceive the government. I find no grounds to transfer an authorized official who made an arrest in the interest of the state. The motion for dismissal is denied. Moreover, this case has been settled by the confession of the accused; thus, it is not to be discussed again. I cannot accept this! I'm certain I will find evidence if I dig deeper! Stop the investigation! It is His Majesty's order! The scholars of the academy will not give up even if we stop. I'm sure His Majesty's statement has been delivered to the academy. It's time to wrap it up. Don't press forward with this for you own sake. If you defy the royal command, you could be charged with treason. The scholars' concern for the state affairs is truly commendable. But if their voices are used to vilify high ministers of court without evidence to support their claim, they are to be kept distant. The first duty of a student who has entered the academy of higher learning is to focus on their learning. Act with discretion and practice restraint. How did this happen? The prisoners are on the verge of death. How can you stop the investigation? I don't know what to say. I knew they were powerful, but... This must be how they managed to carry on their scheme for decades. What is to become of the prisoners now? Are we going to let them die in confinement? I don't know what to say... Talk about hard luck... He suffered enough injustice being born a dirt poor peasant, but just when he can put food his mouth, he is doomed to die! Chun-su, you fool... If you were going to go like this, why did you have to befriend me? Look who's here! If it isn't the backstabbing traitor who sold his friend out! I have to ask you for a favor. You can forget it. I don't know you. Mujik. Let go of my arm before I get mad! I heard that you have a friend in the detention facility at the Royal Repository. I must see Chun-su. Can you get me in? You're the one who put him there and now you want to get him out? I'm begging you. What are you going to do? Break him out of jail? I'll find a way. And if that's the only way, I will break him out. Now that's a joke! What do you think you're doing? ! If I can just talk to him, I know I can find some kind of evidence. Get up from there? A nobleman can't kneel before a peasant! A friend's life is at stake. I don't care about status. I have no excuse for what I have done to Chun-su. But you have to know this. Chun-su is a friend I treasure more than my own life. Stop right there? Hey brothers, what are you still doing here? Mujik, is that you? What are you doing here? I told you to fetch the brothers! Do you know this boy? Oh, he's a new kid that just joined the gang. What are you waiting for? Introduce yourself! Pleased to meet you. We got off on the wrong feet. I didn't know who you were. Brother, I have a little party going at the back gate. Come wet your whistle. I'm on duty. I have to guard my prisoners. Come on? Are you afraid they'll break out of here when they're barely clinging to life? Let the new kid watch your post and come with me. I shouldn't be doing this... Oh, it's all right! Kid, stay right here and watch the prisoners. You got that? Chun-su, Chun-su! Chun-su, wake up! Water... Water... Here. Here's some water. I'm sorry... I caused to you and Chun-su... No, it's not your fault. Baron Huh did this to us. This is what I get for twenty years of loyalty. Isn't this pathetic? But I will not go down like this. Baron Huh, that bastard, I will kill him if it's the last thing I do! I hope I'm not asking too much of you. Don't mention it. Chun-su isn't just your friend. He's my friend too. We really grew on each other. Thanks. I am counting on you. Don't worry about us, and watch your back. The baron has hired some butchers to guard the place. Fire! Fire! Fire? ! Where is the fire? The warehouse with medicinal herbs from Ming, sir! Oh, no! You must find his journal. That's the only way to bring the baron down. He won't store it in an obvious place. He will keep it very close to him. That idiot! You! Guards! Guards! Come quickly! Guards! Thief! That way! Go now! Go! But... Just go! I got you covered. What? ! You lost him? ! Forgive us, sir. You are hired killers for heaven sakes! How could you let him get away? Yi Soon-shin, that weasel slipped away... But there's only one place he could've gone. Who is it? Who is it? What happened? My lady, we must quickly move him inside! Father... I do not know what happened, so I brought him here away from the eyes of the others. You did the smart thing. Gatekeeper! What brings you here at this late hour, Baron? Forgive me, sir. I have reasons to believe that a thief that broke into my house tonight is hiding in this house. You've been misinformed. No one entered my house tonight. It's possible that he is hiding here without your knowledge. I hate to impose, but please allow me to take a look around. This will be my last and only request. Very well. As you wish. This is my daughter's room. Please allow us to take a look. Even the father is careful about entering a maiden's room. Don't you know the customs of the nobility? But sir, I am acting on a testimony of a witness. I must assume that the thief is in that room if you tell me to leave. - Come in. - Yun-hwa! What are you waiting for? Come in and take a good look. But if you do not find the man you are looking for, there will be consequences for violating the privacy of a maiden. No, wait out there. Are you satisfied? What more do you want? Leave this room. How much more contempt must I tolerate? It's bad enough that you've force yourself into a maiden's room. Do you now wish to tear it apart? Leave now. I will not tolerate any more disrespect! What are you doing here? Lady Yun-hwa has a message for you. For me? You wish to go to the baron? Do you know who you are up against? The baron isn't your only opponent. Imperial Attendant Ju Tae-moon, Prime Minister Yoon Won-hyung, this could be a fight against the King who would shield them! One man has already lost his life. I have no other choice. This is the only way to save my friend's life. They will not release him that easily no matter what you say. In fact, they will try to hurt you as well. I can't back down. You may be disqualified from the exam. You may never get the chance to realize your cherished dream! I know. Master, it's Kyun. Enter! Brothers... Soon-shin... I'm sorry to cause you concern once again. Don't be silly. We heard everything from outside. I can' let you go alone. I will round up the members of Deung-ryong and we will go together. No! What do you mean, Master? Why are you stoping us? If we send him alone, there is no telling what they might do. That's a cross Soon-shin alone must bear. I cannot obey you, Master. I refuse to let him go alone! Are you going to turn Deung-ryong institute into a martyrs' den? Master... Kyun, Master is right. Soon-shin! What are you doing here? Are you out of your mind? You wish to make a deal? That's right. If I don't return by 7:00 pm, your journal will be turned over to the Court of Equity. Fool. How are you going to prove that journal is mine. You can't bring me down that easily. No, I can't prove anything. Even if I could, I'm sure your connections in the Courts of Equity will make that proof disappear. If you now that why would be so foolish? But if copies of that journal are delivered to Attendant Ju and Prime Minister Yoon, what then? Along with a note saying that the original has been delivered to the Court of Equity as well, of course. What? ! If they see that you've been making a detailed record of all the fancy gifts you've been going them, even a fool would know your intended use for that journal. You may not end up in prison, but you would lose their trust at the very least. What? Release the criminal who stole government property! One of them has already died in confinement. I fear it will hurt your esteemed name if the other one dies as well. Add glory to your name with display of mercy. But what if that boy starts talking and causing trouble? Don't worry. I will make certain that he keeps his mouth shut. Chun-su! Chun-su! Thank god you're all right! What's wrong with you? Do you know what he did to get you out? I don't care. Chun-su... What's wrong with you? Your friend risked his... Don't even mention him. He's no friend of mine. I told you, you're wrong about him! Chun-su, Baron Huh would like to see you. Go ahead and drink it. Me, sir? I had them brew the best herbs for your injury. It will make moving around much easier. Sir... A good medicine is always bitter. Go ahead an drink it. I apologize. I trusted Soon-shin's words and I put you through this awful ordeal. How will I ever make it up to you? One never knows what evil lurks in the heart of men... I just want you to focus on getting well. I didn't know that you're all alone in this world with not one family member to care for you. Consider me as family from now on. You can think of me as your father or an uncle if that's more comfortable. Sir...! I will take care of you like a son from now. Do you know what I mean? But regardless of the circumstance that led to this, I did save your life by getting you out. And even animate don't hesitate to jump into a fire to pay back a debt of gratitude if you save them from death. How about it? Will you obey my orders from now on? Yes, sir. I will follow your orders, sir. You will? Yes. Hide this somewhere in the laborer's quarters and go to the authorities. I am telling you to turn him in. And I will keep you near and place you in important service. Thank you for the other night. I'm glad. I'm really glad that you are okay. I could not be happier about your friend, but I am ill at ease. They are not to be taken lightly. The baron will not stand down after the humiliation he suffered. Master... Go to Gon-yang with this letter and find Master Nam-goong. He is a man of great heart. He will teach you valuable lessons. Master... Open this gate! Goodness! What's going on? That conniving bastard! What is the meaning of this? ! We are looking for a criminal who not only embezzled government property but stole valuable goods intended for His Majesty's use. Begin the search! Don't be like that. You can't do this to a friend. Go to the tavern if you can move around. He said he'd be there waiting for you. I think you should listen to Master Bang. What are you talking about? We're not letting Soon-shin go anywhere. I think Master Bang's concerns are valid. I think he worries too much. Kyun... You know what he went though to stay in the institute, and he doesn't have much time before the exam. Who's out there? Soon-shin, this is you! What's wrong? It's Baron Huh's doing. I will go to the authorities at once and reveal the truth! No. This warrant with your sketch means that they have acquired solid evidence against you. But still... Haven't you seen what they have done to your friend? They will make up a crime if you are innocent. But, Sung-ryong... You must flee for now and find a way to prove your innocence. Darn this rotten government! Go. We could be spotted if we move together, so let's say our goodbyes here. Be careful. You must be out of the city before dawn. Brothers... Be careful. This is it. This is my last good turn as a friend. I'm alone from now on. I have no friends of any kind. We will go our separate ways. So don't resent me... I will gladly accept any punishment if you withdraw your order to abolish the navy! I will end my life here if you so desire! You are continue your attempt to break me? Must I take your life with my own hands before you submit? Very well. Consider your wish granted. No, Your Majesty! You cannot punish a subject by death for being forthright! Do not interfere! Please withdraw your sword! Step aside! Strike me instead! This man has spent every waking moment of the day for a year protecting the southern front! If you forsake this faithful man, I, too, cannot observe your wishes! Your Majesty, I beg you to strike me instead! Your Majesty... Your Majesty! Father nearly killed Yi Soon-shin and Minister Yu Sung-ryong? Yes, Your Highness. General Shin Lip and Minister Yoon Du-su are accusing the high commander Yi of treason. That means they're out to make Minister Yu a criminal as well! How could this be happening? You must stop defending a criminal of treason. That, too, is treasonous. Criminal of treason? He is His Majesty's most faithful warrior! Faithful? Ha! How could a faithful servant force his way into the palace in arms and threaten his King? Your Majesty, please do not hesitate. You must execute him and display the austerity of the law! No, Your Majesty! You mustn't doubt Yi Soon-shin's loyalty! Building that hideous Turtle Ship and causing the death of innocent men alone is a crime punishable by death! No one grieves for the loss more than Yi Soon-shin himself! To a warrior, his men are like his own flesh and blood! Your Majesty, isn't it true that you had great expectations for the Turtle Ship as well? You agreed that fighting the enemy at sea with an assault vessel was a superior strategy. I do not wish to take anymore risks. Experience is the greatest asset on the battlefield. Make no attempt to break my will! It is not the generals in this room who protects the southern coast nor is it His Majesty and the lords of the royal court. It is Yi Soon-shin. Sun Mu said, in his book Art of War that he will win who has military capacity and is not interfered with by the sovereign! This tells us that the judgment of the warrior who protects the front is most important and accurate of all. Interference? Do you consider this His Majesty's useless interference? How dare you utter such blaspheme! He is quoting a passage in the Art of War! What's more important then the Art of War is the royal command! How could a subject ignore the King's command, and how co n such insolent man be allowed to lead the military? Your Majesty, criminal of high treason Yi Soon-shin must be executed! Defending high treason is also high treason, hence there must be consequences for the Left Minister Yu Sung-ryong as well. No, Your Majesty! Sincere council cannot be confused with treason! Are you trying break my will as well? Your Majesty... Leave! Your Majesty! I said leave! Do not attempt to break my will! Or you will be punished regardless of who you are! How foolish they are! If in excess even nectar is poison. What do they think they can gain by acting like they care more about the country than the King? His Majesty will forsake Yu Sung-ryong as well. The world is as good as yours now, Minister Yoon. Not yet. I need the two of you to fight the Japanese and win for me. You don't have to worry, Minister Yoon. I am counting on you. You had once admonished me telling me that the world hasn't changed. Do you recall? How about now? Has the world changed now? No, Your Majesty. Nothing has changed. Where is the Left Minister? Your Majesty... Is he still by Yi Soon-shin's side? I'm afraid so, Your Majesty. Minister Yu... the heavens will not forsake you. All is calm on the water according to reconnaissance. The archery competition between Soon-chun and Kwang-yang troops was completed as scheduled. The results of the battle formation drills are satisfactory as well. We've completed spread formation and single file formation drills, so we'd like to begin the overlapping reversed V formation drills tomorrow. Well done, everyone. Oh, at any rate, when will the High Commander be back with us? I'm getting so anxious waiting for him... Sir. Was the artillery training conducted on land again, Captain Chung? Yes. I believe my Soon-chun and Kwang-yang troops are scheduled for an onboard artillery training tomorrow. There will be no training onboard. Captain Chung! Let me make it clear, Constable Kwon. There will be no more naval training as far as the artillery is concerned. Ensign Chung! Yes, sir. I want the cannons mounted on Soon-chun and Kwang-yang galleys tomorrow. Constable Kwon! I will do it. From now on, I will conduct the artillery training. The High Commander is wrong! He's making a bad mistake! You have got to stop confusing the soldiers by blindly following the High Commander! We are trying to do our duty as naval officers of Left Cholla. Constable Kwon! Have the cannons mounted by 09:00! Yes, sir! Give it up now. Some things are just not possible. We have to reduce the weight of the iron plates. And our budget is limited. Find a way. Find a way to reduce the thickness! I know you're anxious, Lieutenant, but this isn't going to work. You know that there are metals that you can and can't forge. How is it going? Not very well? We had surplus lumber for galleys and speed crafts, so the hull will be build quickly if we work day and night, but... I guess our problem is still the iron plates. What do we do? We need the Turtle Ship the High Commander is going to have a chance. Do something, fellows! Can't you get those iron plates thin and light like willow leaves? This is so frustrating! Iron is not paper. Why do you keep pushing us knowing that it's impossible? I'm frustrated, that's why. Do you think we're working with brass? Metal... that means we have to change the type of metal... But can we? Can we change the metal? I'll handle the construction of the hull on the Turtle Ship. I can't let you be in charge of it the way you're running around so anxious and frantic. I can't fail. I cannot fail this time? Haste isn't going to solve anything. It's better to go around than to fall into the ditch. Make it work. Do whatever it takes to reduce the weight of the iron plates. And stay away from the Turtle Ship until you've resolved this problem. Will you stay reticent? Prime Minister... The virtue of politics is neutrality. It's impartiality. Neutrality? That is all the more reason why you should rise and rectify the situation. High Commander Yi Soon-shin has not abolished the army. There was not once a call for abolishment of the navy in the 200 years of its existence. Yoon Du-su and his generals are overestimating their own ability and making a grave mistake. If you act hastily with unsupported claims, you can get yourself hurt. You must learn to keep a distance and lay low at times. This is an advice not as the Prime Minister but as your father-in-law. Father-in-law, do you consider me as your son? Fathers take a whip to their sons to teach them what is right and wrong. I would expect you to show me the true path of a scholar. How much do you know about politics? I know nothing about politics. But I do know that a true scholar risks his life for righteousness. If His Majesty seeks to forsake the High Commander and the Left Minister, I will stop him at the risk of my life. Duk-hyung! Father... are you angry? Or are you afraid? If you are afraid, kill them without hesitation. But if you are angry, forgive them and give them a chance. A sovereign does not fear his faithful servants. He feels fear only when the safety of his kingdom is being threatened. If those men are threatening the safety of the kingdom, they are not your faithful servants. But even the most faithful subjects may provoke the sovereign's anger. And as there are more than one way o defend the country, at times they may disagree with you. Their approach may be different, but if you know that what they do is for the safety of Chosun, embrace them and show them your magnanimity. Father... Benevolent rulers of all ages and have never spared their efforts to win loyalty of good men. How did you acquire Minister Yu Sung-ryong? How much opposition did you have to fight through to place Yi Soon-shin in command of the Left Cholla Naval Station? You can forsake a good man in a instant, but it will not be easy to find another good man. Your Majesty, offer your warm hands to them first. And they will return your virtue by serving you with their lives. There is not one naval commander in the three lower provinces that support you. No one else has resisted my order to abolish the navy. Why do you insist on walking the lonely path that no one else will go near? It is to fight a victorious fight. To fight a victorious fight... You wouldn't be uttering empty words to the King. Honor your word! If you suffer one single defeat, I will indeed abolish the navy! What's more, I will take your life and the lives of your men as well! I will not commit the impiety of making Your Majesty take our lives. As long as I'm alive, I will fight the enemy and win, and if I must die. I will die on the battlefield as an enemy of the enemy. High Commander of Left Cholla Naval Station Yi Soon-shin? Yes, Your Highness. Please serve my father well. I, Yi Soon-shin, will protect this country Chosun with my life. You're looking at me with eyes of pity. Your Majesty... I've ceded to the stubborn subjects Yu Sung-ryong and Yi Soon-shin again. Is that what you think? No, Your Majesty. How could I when you've killed two birds with one stone? Killed two birds? One, you've renewed the loyalty of High Commander Yi Soon-shin and Left Minister Yu Sung-ryong, and two, you've stopped Yoon Du-su's influence from growing out of proportion since military leaders Shin Lip, Yi Il and Won Kyun are Westerners. In February of 1592 when the talks of abolishing the navy was casing a stir in Chosun, the Japanese fleet laid anchored in a harbor delaying the launching which was to take place on March 1st. It was because Hideyoshi had suddenly taken ill. Postpone the launch? There will be no launching until His Eminence's recovery. Asians Conquest has always been His Eminence the Taiko's cherished dream. It is his will that he will direct this war himself. Then how much longer must be stay here? Your orders are to return to Nagoya for now. Return to Nagoya? Think about the morale of the soldiers! They will feel like we are retreating before we fight! This may be turn out to be blessing. A blessing? So now we see the true you, General Dodo. It comes time to go to war and you're getting scared! That is untrue! Of course it is! Master, I'd like to conduct a naval training when we return to Nagoya. Training? Battle formation training to be precise. There is more to fighting a naval war than simply just being there. We'we been through this before, Dodo! We must eliminate even the most remote possibility. All of the naval leaders of Chosun are more experienced in land battles! And so are you, General Wakizaka. You're the best naval leader in Japan, and yet you're better at land battles. There is a possibility. They could be concentrating on different military exercises because they are already practiced in maneuvering their fleet. Yes. There are many variables on a battlefield. It is wise to consider all possibilities. Also, to win a war, you must forestall the enemy. And to forestall the enemy, you must win the first battle. If we are met with unanticipated resistance from Chosun Navy and experience complications in landing, what would happen to the morale of the soldiers who have traveled across the ocean to a foreign land? Dodo and Wakizaka continue to clash? Internal division is the greatest enemy, Your Eminence. Reasonable amount of rivalry can so increase productivity. But the fact that there is Konishi behind Dodo and Kato behind Wakizaka is what bothers me. If I keep them together, they will be more concerned with fight for power than fight against Chosun. How about changing the lineup of the advance guards? That's what we will do. Send Wkizaka with Konishi. Konishi thinks too much. He needs a decisive comrade to push him. And for the same reason, we will pair Dodo with Kato. High Commander... His Majesty has acknowledged your loyalty. Sir! Weigh it. Hurry up! We don't need to! It's much lighter! Be quiet. From now on we're going to look a hundred times before we leap. As we should! Is that good? That's good, isn't it? I think it's light enough that we won't have any problem with the force of restoration. Yes! What's wrong, Lieutenant? I though you'd jump for joy. If we use copper and iron alloy, our problem will be solved. Right? Then our problem is solved! What's wrong? Copper is many times more expensive than iron. Who is going to give us the money when they want to get rid of the navy altogether? You don't need to worry about the budget. High Commander! I'm very proud of you. You finally resolved the problem! Sir! Now you can go full speed ahead with the construction of the Turtle Ship. Don't worry about the budget and just get the Turtle Ship built. Sir! Yes, just get it built! I'll go around to all the temples in the country and steal their bells if I have to, so you just build the ship! His Majesty has withdraw his order to abolish the navy! You've worked hard o maintain the base, Captain Chung. The navy is powerless without the cannons. I'm counting on you. If it is an order, I will obey it. Preserve the navy? His Majesty has given Yi Soon-shin his hand of support? That man has go to stop sabotaging the front with his arrogance and guileful tongue! Perhaps it was not Yi Soon-shin's guile but His Majesty came to a decision on his own that it might be unwise to organize the military to one extreme. Captain Han! Are you trying to add insult to injury? Why do you always take Yi Soon-shin's side? This is not matter to take sides. Then do you think that the King is a gullible man that can be played by a servant? That would be grave impiety. If we must fight as a navy, perhaps we should seek counsel of High Commander Yi Soon-shin. What? Seek counsel? High Commander Won has everything under control! From what I understand, the Left Cholla Navy has researched and developed various ways to fight the enemy at sea. Then... Silence! Sir, this is not something you should be angry about. Yi Soon-shin is not our enemy. We should learn from each other and work together to make the navy stronger. Silence, I said! Go back to your camps and build some decent galleys for now. Whether we fight on land or at sea, we do not need any help from Yi Soon-shin! I will fight my own way! What's the most important thing for an oarsmen? Teamwork! You must work together to make the ship glide forward! Is that clear! Cadence and rhythm! Do you hear me! I... have a difficult request. I hate to do this, but... I'll do it. I'll get on board with my men. It's only right that I should row the new Turtle Ship. Young-gap...! That's your request, isn't it? Don't worry. I was going to volunteer if you didn't ask. The other guys will refuse to do it no matter how safe you say it is. And there's another reason why I have to do this. Those poor boys that died out there... I have to see them off to the peaceful place. Once they see the Turtle Ship zipping through the waves, they will finally feel peace. I should be the on the see them off. Tomorrow? The Turtle Ship will be ready for launching tomorrow? Yes, sir. Well done. Sir, there is something I'd like to do before the launching. It's a terrible loss... They were like sons to me. I'm glad we have you now. At least no one will die because of a wound that's left untreated. Nupchool... Getting the Turtle Ship built... every moment was mother battle. It is the blood and sweat of the Left Cholla Navy that built the ultimate assault vessel. Those lives that have been sacrificed in the process of its birth, their deaths will not be allowed to end in vain. We will remember that they were the bravest soldiers of Left Cholla Navy. Launch! Heave! Heave! Turn the ship around! Left oars forward! Right oars rearward! Fire the cannons! Fire the cannons! April 12, 1592, Chosun's most powerful assault vessel the Turtle Ship made its first appearance on the pages of history after completing its test run. This was only one day before the outbreak of Yimjin War. The historical significance of the Turtle Ship goes deeper than being an attack ship. It was a brilliant achievement of science and technology built on 5.000 years of arts and culture, and it was the most innovative invention in Korean history. Twenty-three battles and twenty-three victories... The Turtle Ship is at the heart of this incredible legend about Yi Soon-shin and his men. The architect and engineer of the Turtle Ship Na Dae-yong is a notable scientist that Chosun produced in the 16th century, and Yi Soon-shin who trusted his creative vision and supported him is perhaps the true epitome of a modern leader. The courage and patriotism of Yi Soon-shin and his men who fought bravely for the next seven years remain as honorable traditions in the Korean navy to this day. A main force destroyer in the modem Korean Navy is named after Yi Soon-shin, and three of it submarines are named after Me Dae-yong, Chung Oon and Commander of Bang-dap Yi Soon-shin. So this is Chosun... So. Yes, sir! Send out the scouts. Yes, sir! This is war at last...! On April 13, 1592, some seven hundred Japanese warships appeared on the coast of Pusan. It was the advance guard of Chosun invasion Konishi Yukinaga's fleet. This was its beginning of the brutal seven-year war between Chosun and Japan... Jakbo. Yes, Dae-man? Isn't that Su-chang from the shipyard? Yes. He's trying to get himself killed! Hey, Su-chang! Are you crazy? Where did you get that uniform? Did you steal it? I knew you weren't normal when you took a hammer to a warship, but... Did he just hit me? Jakbo. Yes? I'm right, right? Yup. Dae-man! - Did you hear the news? - What news? The high commander made that boy a commander! Starting today, Su-chang is a commander! Come again? Su-chang was made a commander! What? ! This is an outrage! A commander's position is not a gift for you to hand out as you please! Warships are the most important weapon on which we will fight our battles. And I cannot be neglectful to a man that builds those weapons. We don't intend to be neglectful, sir. From the admiral to a seaman recruit, everyone is important here. But not all of them can put on a blue uniform and command this navy. Are you aware of what you are doing, sir? There is order and discipline in the navy. And there are stern laws that ruled this land for the last 200 years since the founding of this country. And you're trying to violate those laws! Do you want to mimic the King so much? He likes to shock us with outrageous promotions as well. Rules and official procedures are there for a reason. If you ignore them, order will crumble. I will ignore them. I will ignore all of them! Sir! Do you think we can win? The Japanese have hundreds of thousands of soldiers and thousand of warships. They possess military power unimaginable in our minds. How do you intend to fight them and win? Or do you intend to stand around with your arms crossed and watch as they turn this land into ashes? We're facing a war. We can't even dream about winning if we get stuck on rules and procedures! Our only hope is our men. Ultimately, war is fought by men not by weapons. What I want are talented men. Men that will devote everything they have for victory. And if I find one thousand of such men. I will put them all one thousand of them in blue uniforms! I will ignore status and rank and place men in service based on their talent and ability. And from this moment forward, that will be the highest, most strictly enforced law in this naval station. Acts that undermine this law will be seen as acts that assist the enemy, and I assure you there will be severe consequences! You're so good! You're so good! Why are you hitting my bottom? You're so good. I'm just so proud of you! You should be the head cook. They're all identical in size like they've been pressed with a mold! Let me see your hands. Are you hiding a special tool? Stop kidding around! I'm not in the mood! What's wrong with you? Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed? Some men become commanders overnight, but look at me! I'm stuck in the kitchen making rice balls! I can't take this anymore! You're here early! I'll go bring my tools and join you. That's a fine color! You look mighty dandy in that uniform. I guess clothes really do make a man! Uncle Chang...! Did you make and fix those ships all by yourself? If they're going to put you in a commander's uniform, shouldn't we be in commander's uniforms too? Good luck, Commander! You're on your own! I'm in no mood to work! Let's get out of, here guys! Why? Don't you like the uniform? I don't think it suits me, sir. But if my father were alive, I would've wanted him to see me in it. My father was a much better shipwright than I'll ever be. Shipwrights are lowborn, and his grief was never getting the recognition he deserved... But I think he would've told me to take off this uniform as well. He would've yelled at me and said it doesn't suit me. Turn around. Now. It fits you perfectly. Your father would've been very proud of you. He would've never told you to take off this uniform. Sir... I'm a father with sons as well. And I know all about father's pride. I'm sure you know the importance of the ships you will have to build and maintain. I am counting on you. I'm confident that you'll build stronger and more powerful ships than ever before. Do not be defeated and do not yield. The only way to overcome their prejudice and intolerance is to build the best warships and become the best ship builder in Chosun. Then this country will remember you as a great hero. High commander... This is one Kang Bao from the Grand Creek. He stole a sack of rice from the house of Du Joo-young of neighboring village. So? Pardon, sir? So what's his punishment? Twenty lashes and a fine would be a fitting punishment. Then be it. Yes, sir. Next! This is Choi Duk-soon, the wife of one Hwang Man-keun of Willowville. What is her crime? Well, if I should explain... You slut! Your husband is alive and well, and you bump bellies with another man? How could you! Don't just stand there! Get her husband out of here! Let go of me! Let go! Hang them, Magistrate! They both deserve to be hanged! Sir, what should I do? Do whatever you want! You can punish her according to the law or hang her like her husband said! Pardon, sir? Hustle! You'll never catch up to the barbarians at this pace! The Six Camps is no longer the front. And the front is where warriors belong. Why am I here like a pathetic fool? Here you go. Enjoy your food! Rice cakes? Yes, it's a special treat for our grand opening! Good luck with the business, Innkeeper. Thank you! Wow, something smells good! When did this place open up? I can go for a drink right now. Why don't we stop in? All right. Welcome! Would you like to go inside? All right. Bring us a bowl of hot soup and a bottle of rice wine. You got it! One bowl of hot soup! All right! Rice cakes? It's a grand opening cake. I hope you'll visit us often. You're so nice. And you're pretty too. Oh my, I'm blushing! I haven't been complimented on my looks since my teen years. I know you're just being nice, but you made my day. The papers fell down, your blouse dropped, the captain said to hang it. - What's the matter with your mouth? - Personal secret. Never lets go of it. Six-two and even, he swallows it, his senior sorority pin. I peeked at your papers, and he rescued them. You went through my papers? The war's over. Where are we going and why? We don't like secrets. Thank you. I should have known better than try to hold back f rom men who have operated the way you have behind enemy lines. I wanted Gen. Steele to see your f aces when you heard. Cold Steele? It's his doing that your recommendation passed. - Johnny's congressional? - Congressional? There were certain errors in your report of the incident. Don't tell me the guys in Washington ref used? Those guys decided to award the Congressional Medal to Drake and the Distinguished Service Cross to the officer with him. How's that? The congressional. Won't you look pretty standing up there? Maybe he'll even let you sit on his piano. - With the newsreels grinding. - ln Technicolor. What's the gripe? That's the best they've got. You shouldn't have done it! Sometimes you go soft-headed. I'd like to see a blond do that to me. - What's the gimmick? - Basic grammar. - l'll bet she talks beautif ully now. - Think so? You look like the first time you jumped. Look, kid, if it's trouble.... Yeah, we had some, didn't we? Not like this, though. Quit living inside there. If you can't tell me-- l can tell you. I just don't want any medal. is that all you don't want? - Captain Murdock? - On the hoof. Camera boys would like shots of you two. Could you come out? You only stop here f or 5 minutes. - The city of brotherly love? - To New Yorkers. They don't live here. I'm all f or love, son. Come on, hero. And that's an order. Washington hasn't released a story. What gives? Drake's the story. I'm not. You see Johnny here- - Johnny? Sergeant Drake! Johnny! I didn't like that salute. There was something final about it. I got it alright why Johnny had taken a powder. He'd faked a birth certificate to enlist. John Joseph Preston, eh? The Yale pin said so. All I needed was a telephone. Sorry, gorgeous. I'd let you have it, only it's long distance. Yale University. Hello, Yale? Give me your top man there. What college? Yale, of course. Okay, so it's a university. How would I know? I just own taxis. Yeah, one of my men f ound a pin with a name on it, class of 1940. I want his address so I can return it to him. Thanks, lovely. General, if you won't authorize me to go after him I'm af raid i'll have to go anyway. Yes, sir. I have a good idea of where he is. But we don't want lntelligence in this. I regret to say, sir, yes. That's right, sir. I ref use. The last address Yale had for Preston was a town I'd never heard of. Welcome to Gulf City, Mr. Murdock. Murdock.... Yes, a room is reserved f or you. Nobody knew I was coming. - Warren Murdock, and f rom St. Louis. - l don't get it, but I'll take it. It's our best. The gentleman who telephoned insisted. - Then it's f or me, all right. - Front, boy. Geronimo, the paratroopers' jump call. It was Johnny, all right. We could read each other's minds. He knew I'd want to help. He'd seen me look at the back of his pin. Will call later, the message said. That was 10 hours ago. How long is "later"? What to do in a hot wind, smelling of jasmine ex cept wait and sweat and prime the body to sweat more? A phone directory might help. I'd never heard of Johnny speak of any relatives but I was ready to try anything. "Prendergast, Prescott, Prestwood. " Stalled again, like a jeep on synthetic gas. 48 hours since he'd called and no word. I'd pitched the Cardinals into the pennant and set the Red Sox down in the World Series. Suddenly, Johnny's service record came to me like a photograph. He'd enlisted October 11,1943. Whatever jam he'd got in must have been just before that. It might have made the papers. There it was, Father. All over page one. Only five weeks before Johnny enlisted under the name of Drake. The rest was what you'd expect. Nationwide search. A murder indictment. Search for Johnny goes limp. Story dribbling off until it fell out of the paper. The newspaper gave me answers but there were three things I had to find out.: How could Johnny be a murderer? Why come back here where he was hotter than the weather? And why? Why not another word from him since that first call? Listen, honey. Haven't you got any radio news programs in this city? All I get is commercials and a lot of that apple pan dowdy. Not until 12:00? Well, thank you kindly, ma'am. I thought I'd turned the juice off. But I'd flipped it to the police call band. Car 42 reporting in. Car 42 reporting in. Broken railing on Tarpon Springs Turnpike was due to auto smash. A burned sedan. Body, charred beyond identification. Been there two days. Send morgue wagon. - Car 42 reporting. Got it? - Okay, 42. Got it. Two days ago. That'd be the night Johnny was to call me. Maybe he--? I was getting desperate, but it might be a lead. There was one place in town where l could find out for sure. Evening. - Could I take a look in your icebox? - Somebody special? Missing Persons thought I ought to look. - Who's missing? - What's it to you? - Homicide Squad. - Lieutenant Kincaid. - l thought you was a morgue buff. - Buff? A nut like those guys that chase fires. I didn't know Homicide men hung out in the morgue. - Where you f rom? - Out of town. - Frisco. - How did you know? The accent. I can spot any accent. What's the name? Charlie Wilson. Met him on the train. I thought I talked him out of suicide. He didn't show f or dinner. No word since. - Yeah? I meant your name. - l gave all that to Missing Persons. Okay, mister. Okay. I'll handle this, Willie. Thanks, Willie. - Fished this one out of the Gulf. - Pass. - Hit and run. - No, he's too old. - What'd he look like? - Medium. - Medium what? - Medium young, medium height. - Medium weight. - Very illuminating. You can call him medium, what's left of him. Barracuda got the rest. That's the lot. - All the rest empty? - Yeah. Not much business f or the one cool spot in town. - One just came in, but he don't fit. - How do you know? - You said suicide. - l was guessing. This one came f rom a car smash. You don't want to see him. - l might as well blanket the field. - He's as crisp as bacon. - l can stand it if you can. - Okay. He was like a lump of charcoal. Johnny's build. It might be Johnny. It might not. No hardware on him? Wilson had a wristwatch. Nothing. He'd been cleaned as though somebody didn't want him identified. The only thing was a hunk of melted gold, like a tooth. Only it's big f or a tooth and it's got some black stuff on it. Black enamel and gold. Johnny's senior society pin. So, Johnny had taken his last jump. - What's it look like to you? - Gold bullet? Are you kidding? That's an idea. The newspaper boys will go f or that. Kincaid would check with Missing Persons and find out I'd never been there but I wasn't worrying about that. I was thinking, now I won't have to say goodbye to Johnny. I remembered him in Berlin. The crazy song he always sang. I used to say, "You drive me nuts with it. " Yeah. Why, I used to say to him-- Let's just say I remembered Johnny, laughing, tough and lonesome. Let's just say that. But I knew all at once I had a job. They don't give out the Congressional Medal to guys wanted for murder but he was gonna get it. I was going after whoever tried to gyp him out of it. Why should anybody kill Johnny? Because he hadn't shot Chandler and maybe knew who did? There was a photo in the Gulf City Statesman. Louis Ord, a waiter at the Sanctuary Club. He was a witness at the Chandler inquest. Maybe he wouldn't help, but you gotta start somewhere. And he'd be fine. Mr. Louis Ord would be fine, just dandy. I felt like a fight, Father. I felt like a fight. How many, sir? You alone, f riend? I have a small table. The bar is good enough, thanks. It looked like feeding time at the zoo. All you needed was money to start with and bicarbonate of soda to finish. - What'll it be? - Rye and water. - Plain water? - Yeah. Here you are, sir. - Come here, sweetheart. - Yes, sir? Didn't you used to be a waiter here? Louis Ord, 45, single? I seem to know your f ace, but the name-- Remember a guy named Johnny? In this business you meet lots of Johnnies, sir. You were a witness against this one. He acted like a mine had gone off under his feet. I hadn't seen a guy look that scared since jump training. - Who are you? - The name is Murdock. - Capt. Murdock? - How'd you know? - Johnny's told me about you, captain. - Skip the captain. Where is he? He's been holed up at my place, until two days ago. I ain't seen him since. - Who else has he seen here? - No one, that is, ex cept her. The Chandler doll? What's she like? She's tops. With him, with everyone. - When did he last see her? - l don't know that. Just bef ore he left my place, he gave me a letter f or you. What are you waiting f or? Give it to me. - Come on. Where is it? - Here. - Hand it over. Give it to me. - Go on and give it to him. Not here. Tomorrow morning at your hotel. - l have that table f or you, f riend. - l didn't want a table. Sorry, sir. My mistake. There was something about him I didn't like. Maybe his calling me "friend." Evening, Mrs. Chandler. A Ramos gin fizz? Nobody can make them the way you can. Thank you very much. - Cinderella, with a husky voice. - Where have we met? In another guy's dreams. You still sing that song? - Who are you? - Rip Murdock. Where is Johnny? You haven't told me if you still sing that song. You remember it, don't you? Ex cuse me. The boss said to ask you as a f avour will you sing that song when you were in the show? - l couldn't, not possibly. - As a f avour to him, he said. Yeah, I'd like to hear it. All right, but just that one. I'll take that table now, f riend, f or two. I hated every part of her, but I couldn't figure her out yet. I wanted to see her the way Johnny had and hear that song with his ears. Maybe she was all right and maybe Christmas comes in July. But I didn't believe it. - You've seen Johnny since he got back? - Yes. Where is he now? I've been f rantic f or two days. - He was f rantic f or three years. - Was he? In spite of the f act you testified against him. If you know Johnny, you know he understands. I had to testify. - When did you see him? - Day bef ore yesterday. He was to call and let me know about going to Mexico, so I could join him. But he never called. I've been staring at my phone. I've been out of my mind. I had to get out just to keep f rom going crazy. - l just saw him. - Tonight? - About 10:00. - Where? We have a special treat f or you tonight. As a f avour, the lady who was our star attraction has agreed to give us the song she made the sensation of the South. Ladies and gentlemen, Mrs. Coral Chandler. I see what Johnny meant. You and Johnny, you were together all the time, weren't you? We f ought together. And spent your leaves together. London, Paris, Rome. Me with a gal, him without one. Just a picture of you in his eyes. Where is he? Won't you tell me, where did you see him? - Let's dance. - Please, I want to know. I wanted her in my arms when I told her. My right hand on her spine would feel the shock. She'd tested pure so far. But so did another girl I knew. Right up to the dollar point. And it wasn't 4 million. - Still wear the same perf ume? - Tell me where you saw him. - "She wears jasmine, " he said. - Please. He called you Dusty. lt was a name he had between the two of you. Tell me where you saw him. On a slab in the morgue, burned to a crisp. I think we'd better sit down. Her whole body had gone soft when I slugged her with it. But I kept thinking, she has to know something. Take a couple of deep drags. Thanks. I won't do that again. Tell me what happened. Please, I promise-- You're not feeling ill, Mrs. Chandler? No, I feel fine, thanks. It isn't often we have the pleasure of seeing Mrs. Chandler dance. Mr. Murdock, this is Mr. Martinelli, who owns all this. Mr. Murdock's an old f riend. Any f riend of Mrs. Chandler's is welcome. I'm af raid i don't sing. Perhaps you'd like to try a little roulette. It's not wise to tell you, but the house is having a streak of bad luck. Mrs. Chandler doesn't feel like gambling. Oh, I'm all right, really I am. I'd like to. You too, sir? I'll just watch. Roulette wheels have a way of running over me. I was walking into something. We were going to gamble, win or lose. He hadn't asked her to, he'd told her she had to. lt was an order, but why? I didn't like the feeling I had about her. The way I wanted to put my hand on her arm. The way I kept smelling that jasmine in her hair. The way I kept hearing that song she'd sung. Yeah, I was walking into something all right. Krause, have f resh drinks brought f or Mrs. Chandler and Mr. Murdock. And some of those pâté de f ole gras sandwiches that Pierre makes so well. Real pâté f rom Paris. Prewar. Right away, sir. Number 11, black. Two stacks, please. Make your bets, ladies and gentlemen. Make your bets. No more bets. No more. That way you'll get rid of it f ast. - lt's a system I use. - Ever try throwing it out the window? Number 13, black. Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen. Place your bets. No more bets. No more bets. No more. - Eleven then seven. What next? - l repeat. One then the other. It won't work, Dusty. You got the right numbers in the wrong game. Number 4, black. Nothing on 4. She lost fast and heavy. Maybe it was her way of easing off the pain of Johnny. But I suspected there was more to it. I decided to find out. - How much is she on the rim f or? - Sixteen thousand. Let's see what I can do with the same numbers. Did you ride in on the killing? Her horse stumbled. Give me the 7-11 dice. They're all 7-11 dice. It depends on the player's talent. - Not the luck? - l was returning your compliment. You shoot honestly, we give you honest dice. Open up the table. You won't mind if I watch, I hope. Not at all, if you think you can take it. - What's the limit? - For Mrs. Chandler, no limit. We shoot 2000. - Seven. - Seven the winner. - The 4000 rides. - Ad infinitum, if you wish. Eleven the winner. 7-11, your system, Dusty. Once more, and we're even. - We'd better stop with what we have. - No, we'll get even. The house will change the dice. That's your privilege, f riend. That squares you with the house. You think there's something wrong? I never think when I gamble, I just feel. And I feel snake eyes. Krause, give Mr. Murdock back the dice he had bef ore. I'd be delighted to have you roll f or any part, or all of the 16,000. Let's say all of it. - Four. - A difficult point, Mr. Murdock. What man has done, Murdock can do. - Please, Rip, I'm 16,000 ahead. - Bother you? A solid winning every now and then is the best advertising f or any casino. - Can't we have a nightcap? - lt's your money. We'll have it in my office. If it's all the same to you, I'd like that pair f or a souvenir. Much obliged. With all that money on you, I'd better see you home. Snake eyes again. Krause is a f ool. My cutting him in on the profits was a mistake. He's becoming greedy. I'll keep these to remind me never to stretch my luck. A judicious principle. I gather that you've been around, as the saying is. - East St. Louis is around enough. - Ah, St. Louis. In what business were you, may I ask? I owned taxicabs, but they got sunk at Pearl Harbor. - Then you know Al Baretto? - You know Al? Were you in St. Louis? Many times, although my headquarters were in Detroit. I thought Al's Detroit f riends were all mobsters. Where's Mike? He mix ed them, sir, but he got busy, so I brought them up. - Ramos gin fizz, madam. - Thank you. Our very best, sir. Mr. Martinelli's private stock. - Louis! - Coming, sir. I got it all right. Something in the drink. Also my private stock. That's all. To the beauties of St. Louis. - You disapprove of the toast? - l'm thinking of a better one. If I didn't drink, he might fall in on Louis for tipping me off. And if I did- - But I kept remembering, Louis had been Johnny's friend. Maybe his only friend. I needed Louis alive. We await your pleasure. Geronimo! A lovely word, with the added charm f or me of being meaningless. - A St. Louis expression? - No. Just one I picked up. Your expressions have the Baretto flavour, almost medieval. Baroque. Mobster, as applied to me, is more colourf ul than accurate. I've always had a preference f or legitimate enterprises. With a gambling racket on the side. Scarcely a racket, Mr. Murdock. More f or my own amusement than f or profit, as you know. Gambling is illegal, to be sure but the city is aware of it and approves. My house encourages tourists, pays large tax es.... Coming out of it was like after being tapped on the button. Everything foggy, an anchor on my head and ringing in my ears. Rip, this is Coral, Dusty. What happened? I don't know. Don't you know? I just woke up in my garage. That's a great place to wake up. Mr. Martinelli is a fine.... Remind me to put him to sleep sometime. My head's splitting. Look in your bag. See if you've got your money. Just a minute. - Murder. - What'd you say? I said murder. I just sat up. - The money's all here, Rip. - lt is? Then I can't understand why he slugged us both. - What's your phone number, Dusty? - Surf 3181. I'll call you back. I've got company. It was Louis. His neck was broken. My brain began to unscramble. Louis, Johnny's letter. That was the joker. Then Martinelli was tied to Johnny's death. He'd found out about Johnny's letter, so he'd silenced Louis too. And Louis' body was to block me out of the play with a murder rap. I had to get rid of Louis before the cops followed up Martinelli's next play, an anonymous tip to pay me a call. Should I kick it in? It may have been a phoney tip. I don't know where it came f rom. - lt's you, the smart guy f rom Frisco. - You're better than I thought. - How'd you locate me? - Mind if we take a look around? Mind? Why should I mind? What's a little sleep? You mind telling me what you're looking f or? Maybe that guy you was looking f or, Charlie Wilson. - What do you know about that corpse? - Same as you, nothing. You heard the report about that car smash. That's why the rental job with a police call-band. You knew that guy had been taken f or a ride. You guys murder me. - That's the only radio the shop had. - l bet. If you'd stop playing smart, I might help. Where'd you get the head, the Sanctuary Club? You're a day early f or Easter bunnies. You had a row with Louis Ord. What'd you threaten him about? - Why don't you ask him? - Don't think I won't. You don't object to my going back to bed, do you? I got a habit of sleeping late, often right up to 6. How long you known Coral Chandler? Sometimes I think all my life. - Nice thing you did, getting her even. - l always get even, lieutenant. I'll leave the door unlocked. You can walk in any time. Come on, Casey. If my laundry is picked up, when can I expect it back? Wednesday? When does the laundry pick it up? What time? Send the boy up at 8. While you're on the wire, get me Surf 3181. Yeah, thanks. Hello, Dusty. Yeah. Yeah, my company's gone. I'm alone, I think. What did the world look like when you first opened your eyes? Head like a balloon, huh? With what? Oh, yeah. What kind of a taste do you have? Sour molasses? Maybe it was DDT. I don't know, I never drank any bef ore. How's your stomach feel? Am I checking up on you? Of course. I f orgot to tell you, I don't trust anybody, especially women. Look, I got a job f or us. What time is the top rush hour f or lunch in this hotel? Park your car in the garage at 1:00 and meet me in the lobby. Got it? All right, see you then. How soon can you get me Operator 19, St. Louis? That's my girl. Hi, Al. This is Rip. Sure, I'm great. Did you get my phone message this morning? Not yet. Not f or a while. I got unfinished business down here first. Somebody who used to be your Detroit competition. Calls himself Martinelli. Yeah, in spades. Did you dig me up the name of a good man down here? McGee, 25 Palmetto Street. Okay, pal. You're a pal. I'll be seeing you. Yeah, when I got aces back to back. So long. Lieutenant Kincaid? Call f or Lieutenant Kincaid. - Calling Lieutenant-- - Okay, boy. Who wants me? Headquarters, sir. On the phone. Hello, lieutenant? Chief wants to talk to you. Will you hold the wire? At last. You said 1:00. Where were you? The dining room's over there. Hello? Hello? - What's wrong? Can't you say a word? - Sure. Hello. - Where are we going? - Anyplace out of town where we can eat. - Not to speak of why. - You're an inquisitive gal. There's a place at Flamingo Beach, but it's f ar. I have to be back at 3. Stand him up. You're with me until after dark. - lt isn't a man, it's my hairdresser. - That makes it rugged. - My hair's a mess after last night. - Then let it down. Maybe I'll let mine down too. I can't understand why Martinelli spiked our drinks. - He thinks you're with that gangster? - He knows I'm not one of the mob just a guy who sat in on a stud game once in a while. - Well, then I don't see why-- - Women ask too many questions. - They should just be beautif ul. - And let the men do the worrying. Women ought to come capsule-size, about f our inches high. When a man goes out, he puts her in his pocket. That way, he knows where she is. He gets to his restaurant, he puts her on the table then swaps a few lies with his pals without danger of interruption. When it comes that time in the evening when he wants her f ull-sized he just waves his hand and there she is. That's the most conceited statement. But if she starts to interrupt, he shrinks her back and puts her away. I understand. What you're saying is, women are made to be loved. - ls that what I'm saying? - lt's a confession that a woman may drive you crazy, but you wouldn't trust her. And because you couldn't put her in your pocket, you'd get mix ed up. I don't understand what does it. What did it f or Johnny? The trouble is, it happened to Johnny but it didn't happen to me. - At least not as intensely. - That's what he was af raid of. I was going with him because he was the nicest person I'd ever met. And I'm lonely. You're right about women being made f or love. But what happens when it never comes the way you want it? Like music that never reaches a pitch? What do you do, go on singing songs and drinking Ramos gin fizzes? Yeah I can see why Johnny loved you. - And why he couldn't reach you. - l loved him, Rip. It's just.... There's some people you feel you can talk to. They come along, they sit beside you in your car. Only, the f unny thing is, it's never happened bef ore. - That's crazy to say. - You're the one that's mix ed up. - But I'm not mix ed up. - Get back in my pocket. Do me a f avour, park it f or a while. I'd like to be alone with the lady. Caref ul, I'm the marrying type. When you worked f or Martinelli, did he take stuff home briefcase, papers or did he leave them locked up in his office? I don't know, ex cept he kept my contract in his office. Why? Last night, Louis the bar man had a letter f or me that Johnny gave him. - What did it say? - l don't know. Martinelli got it. - How do you know? - When your phone call woke me up Louis was in my room, lying on the other bed with a broken neck. - Oh, Rip. - Yeah. I'm a guy that likes to get his mail. Martinelli would have destroyed it by now. No, he'd want to read it first. Johnny would have written it in code. My guess is, he's still trying to figure it out. i'm going after it. - Not back there? - Yeah. I just had my f riend Baretto on the phone. He gave me the name of a safe expert. He was so good the law took a little slice out of his life. - He's retired. Lives in this town. - What good is--? I don't think Johnny killed your husband. - Why? - l knew him like my own birthmark. Rip, there's something I didn't tell the coroner because Johnny wouldn't let me. I was right there when it happened. Johnny was af raid they'd blame me, tie us both up. Ex-nightclub singer and young college professor murder her husband. - But that wasn't the way it was. - What way was it? Stuart had always been crazy jealous. That night, he was drunk too. He started hitting me and jabbing a gun into me. He was mad enough to kill me, and I was terrified. Suddenly, Johnny came into the room. He'd f ollowed us home f rom the club. He took the gun f rom Stuart, or was trying to but it seemed to go off right in my ear. I passed out and when I came to Johnny was kissing me. That was the last time I saw him until he came back, two days ago. I remember he said goodbye. I think he was crying. You don't believe me, do you? Yeah. Yeah, sure, I believe you but I still want that letter. Let's get out of this lobster trap. We need salt air. They say salt's antiseptic. Rip, what's the matter? is something the matter? - Yesterday you called me Dusty. Today-- - Johnny used to call you that. Yes. What would you like to call me? - l'll have to think about that. - Yes, think of that. - l want you to. - We'd better get back to town. I couldn't stand there looking at her. I had to keep moving. Her story about Johnny sounded real. I'd buy it, on approval, as the dolls say. Only maybe I was buying a lot more than that, and didn't know it. McGee, 25 Palmetto Street. It was a nice little house. He'd probably paid 4 or 5000 for it, before houses went up. From all I hear, it would probably bring 15 G's by now. And here was this guy, McGee, all nicely reformed. Chances are, it's the first house he ever lived in. When this is over, go see him, Father. You two would get along. But I had something else on my mind right then. - What'll it be? - Phone company, checking calls. Did you get one f rom St. Louis a little while ago? - Hiya, Murdock? - Okay, McGee. Step right in. Oh, McGee, this is Mike. Hiya, Mike? I'm fine now. - What a nice place you've got. - lt's messed up right now. Joe, that's my kid, he brought this junk back f rom Japan. Joe took this off a Nip colonel. Ain't it a pip? Almost cut your head off, didn't I? Joe says these are new. - Those are German. - That's what Joe said. How'd you know? I'd turn them into Army ordnance. Start coughing too hard there'll be nothing left but the gold in your teeth. Holy smoke! That Joe, collecting stuff like that. It used to be just guns. - What sort of trick you got in mind? - A small wall type. My f amily bible. When you spot your job, holler. - There. Am I right? - That looks right. That one? It's a pipe. What's the layout? Martinelli's private office at the Sanctuary Club. I was willing to turn a trick because you're Al's f riend. I'd cut it off to here f or Al. But I ain't souping Martinelli's safe. I've built up a legitimate business here, with a positive f uture. Forget it, Murdock. Wash it out of your mind. No grease. it wouldn't do me any good with sand in my mouth. If it's a pipe, couldn't you show him how to do it? How you like that? Murdock, you got something there. I have a letter l want to get, and she wants me to get it. Lady, there was a time I could have used you. I'll show you how in five minutes flat. Come on. - Where next? - Where does Martinelli live? Crescent Beach. Why? Suppose you drive around, show me the sights and wind up there after dark. The letter wouldn't be at Crescent Beach. Maybe not. While I'm at the club, I want Martinelli at police headquarters. - l don't see the connection. - Nobody can without opening the back of your car. The trunk compartment. Louis Ord's body's back there. - How long you been driving? - l didn't see the signal. - lt was my f ault. - Let's see your driver's license. I just told her something that startled her. It must be here. I know it is. It better be, unless you want to come along to the station house. - lt isn't here. lt just isn't here. - Keep your head. I guess we're hooked. She must have left it in some other bag. That's the standard answer. Can we stop by the mayor's office? We got a date with His Honour. He's your pal, I suppose. No, but he told me that if I got Mrs. Chandler there by 4:00, he'd marry us. That's what I'd just told her when we went through that stop signal. is that a f act? And I hardly know him. Okay. Get along with you. Hey, wait a minute! - What did you say, lady? - l said yes. That was close. That was a f unny thing to say. What was the matter with it? He fell f or it. Yes. He f ound it easy to believe. Martinelli's beach house fronted on the Gulf. A big place he'd probably built with hot priorities and cold dice. All right, get out, quick! - Did they go f or it? - They said they'd send a police car. What time have you got? Five to 9. Hello? Hotel Southern? This is Mr. Murdock. Give me the manager, will you, honey? Well, this was gonna be it. lf l got that letter, it was all I needed. If everything rolls on rubber, I'll be at your place by 11. - Can't I wait down the road? - No. This is Operation Solo. I don't want you hurt. By the way, where is Surf 3181? The penthouse at The Gables. You won't take any f ool chances, will you? Not any f ooler than I'm taking now doing that. - Be caref ul. - Sure. It's funny how loud crickets sound and the way you feel. Funny, too, how a kiss stays on. The way you can still taste it. Martinelli was still up there. Maybe the phone call hadn't worked. But it had. All I had to do was wait. He was right on schedule. I was thinking, "Go ahead. Beat it to your big beach home. " This is the same gag you pulled on me. It's even the same corpse. Only thing missing is a sledgehammer highball and a pair of snake-eyes dice. There was one joker. What if he'd left a goon to watch his office? Here I was again, back to the scene of the TNT highball with the pretty girl camouflaging the safe. Martinelli left in a hurry. He hadn't turned the radio off. Not that I don't like music, but I work better in silence. I'm crazy about you, sweetheart, but move over. She moved over, Father. The safe was wide open. Martinelli really had hauled freight in a hurry. After my trouble to get Martinelli out, this would be dandy. I kept thinking, "lt had to be here somewhere. " Up to now, everything had gone like grief. He had the letter. He'd been working on it. But he hadn't gotten very far with his homework. He was doing research on that letter but good. The Leising Book of Codes. Here was the real merchandise. I recognized Johnny's writing. Martinelli! Martinelli! Then, suddenly, I got a whiff of jasmine. For a second I thought it might have been-- lt was like going out the jump door. I was falling through space. Count, sucker, and pull the ring. One thousand. Two thousand. Then, lights. The ground batteries had picked me up. I tried to side-slip the chute, but I couldn't. The lights got brighter, blinding me. He's coming to. Go ahead and make with the music, f riend. We love it. What's the letter say, f riend? - Tell us about it, f riend. - Quiet, Krause. I haven't yet solved the code. Repeat the message in the letter. I hadn't read it yet. I just started to when you sapped me. You place me in an extremely distastef ul position. By nature, I'm a gentleman. Truly gentle. Brutality has always revolted me as a weapon of the witless. Like your f riend Baretto. Yes, and Krause here. Although Krause's inclinations are more psychopathic than intelligent. He suffered an injury to his brain once, and ever since then.... lf you make me leave you to his quiet whims, I will never f orgive you. Go take a flying jump f or yourself. I'd f ormed a higher opinion of your ability to make decisions. The rest is to dance time, f riend. You like music, f riend? I like music. I love music. I like all kinds of music. Maybe he'll talk to you now, I think. Prop him up in the chair f acing the wall. I can't bear the sight of your handiwork. And don't put that thing away, in case. In case there's more music? There he is, all tuned up f or you. That's better. You're a stubborn man, Mr. Murdock. Your whole attitude, I find thoroughly aggravating. What time is it? That seems a little beside the point. It happens to be 10:45, or thereabouts. You're licked, Martinelli. Quarter to 11, manager, Hotel Southern will phone me here. - Don't f all f or that. - Shut up. Yes, Mr. Murdock? Do go on. I'm interested. He's just making with the mouth. Wrong, as usual. Yes? -That, mostly. It's been pretty bad, Doc. Where's Jim; -Waiting at the hotel. -Waiting; To take the children home after you've seen them. Oh. Did he mind about my seeing them; He didn't say one way or the other. Doc.... What about Jim; Where I'm concerned, I mean; Tell me. Honey, it's pretty hard to say. He just never mentions your name one way or the other. Thank you. All right, Mrs. Smith. Doc, they don't know me. They're very young. It's been two years, Lutie. You can't expect it. No, I don't expect it. I only hoped. Do you remember, I said I'd bring a double present for both of you; -Do you remember, Sarah Beth; -No. But you'd like to have a present, wouldn't you; -Yes. -Then you wait. You look at what I have in my bag. Now you look in the bag. -Saw her getting off the train. -Went right over to Doc Reid's. [CROWD laughing] [singing bird playing ON TOY piano] You must leave at once, Brice. Do you realize I've never even touched him before never been close enough to look into his eyes; -He's a fine boy. -You shouldn't have come here. Brock. Jim. Come on, kids. Time to go now. BRlCE: I'm sorry, Lutie. I shouldn't have come back. I've brought everything to life again. And the children, Brice, they don't know me. I'm not sure they even liked me. They were just waiting for the time to go home. They don't need me. They don't need anything from me. Listen to me, Lutie, you and I, we could get Brock. He's ours. Let Brewton have Sarah Beth. We could take Brock away. He belongs with you and me. We'd get as far away from here as trains could carry us. This is our last chance, Lutie. The last chance for the three of us. I can't go away with you, Brice. I can't have Brock and I can't have Sarah Beth so I'm gonna go, but I'll go alone. And you've got nothing for me; Not enough, Brice. Not enough for that. Come on in. Doc. Glad Mac got you here, Jim. Haven't been seeing very much of you lately. -l haven't been looking for you. -So I noticed. I used to love you like the son I never had. Not anymore. You know why; Maybe you better not talk about it now, Doc. Got to-- l'll tell you why. Lutie. I can say it now. Lutie. Wouldn't let anybody speak her name, would you, Jim; But you gotta humor me. Last wish, you know. All Lutie needed was a little help from you. She had better coming than she got. She never forgot her children. She was all right. And you sent her away twice. Your fault. That's right, yours. People don't tell you that much, do they, Jim; Jim. Jim. You hear me; Yes, Doc. I hear you. You, you'll never change. You still got that same look in your eyes. No, you'll never change. The Doc. Out of his head, I guess, Jim. No, he was right. Just right. He's gone, gentlemen. Colonel Brewton, I had no idea. -Are you sure; -Very sure. I wonder how she's fixed for money. Mr. Cameron left her very little. I see. I might add one thing. If I did know where your wife was, you are the last one I would tell. Why don't you leave her alone now; MAN: Come on, kid, get up. I'll give you a thousand bucks. Get him over. Come on. -Get him over, come on, come on, come on. -Get him over. Now you got him. Now you got him. Come on, come on, kid. -Brock, Brock! -Wait a minute, sister, let him go. Jeff, Jeff, Brock's fighting again! -Jeff! -Brock, stop that fighting. Hey, Ed, I'm betting on the Chamberlain kid. -What's that you said; -You heard what I said. I'm betting on the Chamberlain kid. You wanna cover my bet; What's going on here, Jeff; What was said here, Bill; If anybody's got anything to say, now's the time to say it. Come on, Brock. BRlCE: Don't worry, Lutie, i'ii keep on writing to you. i know you've turned to me only because Doc Reid is gone and that you want nothing from me but news of your children. in this letter, i am sending you a likeness of Sarah Beth and Brock. i obtained it by devious methods from the local photographer. You asked about Brewton, Lutie. i know very little about him. He seldom comes to town except to do some buying for the ranch now and then. it would break your heart to ride through this country. it's all drying up and blowing away. Brewton was right about one thing, this land was not ready for plow. it needed help from us. During those first years, when the rains came we should've been at work planning against the time when nature would fall us. We should've built dams, brought our own rain and irrigation ditches and culverts and diverted streams. Someday, we will do these things and the land will come back. The hope of seeing that keeps me here. And something else holds me too. Brock is growing up, Lutie, and the way it's happening worries me. When Sarah Beth was home, she used to look out for him. But now that she's away at school Brewton makes no move to curb Brock in anything. it's almost as though he were trying to make up to him for someone else. You, Lutie. Whatever it is, it's bad for Brock and i don't like it. And i'm forced to stand by, helpless to do anything and watch the wildness in the boy grow stronger. Everyone likes him. Maybe that's the trouble. He's right at home every place. Whether he's joshing the girls at Ciancy's Dance Haii or playing "The Blue Danube" on Myra Netherwood's new grand piano he's a prime favorite. And he's a walking contradiction too. One day he'ii be dealing whist and euchre from the best horsehair furniture the next, he'ii be prancing up and down the street in his new buggy with a homesteader girl beside him. BRlCE: You may see him buying out a showcase of jawbreakers at the Kingman Mercantiie Company for a bunch of runny-nosed kids gentle as a woman. Or keeping a tomato can rolling at 50 feet with a six-shooter. it gives me pause, Lutie, to see him. There's such a lot of recklessness under that crazy charm. There's a danger in him and a kind of violence. it's hard for me to keep my hands off. Sometimes, when he looks at me as we pass and it's never more than a flick of his eye i feel that he must know something and that he must hate me for it. i understand Sarah Beth graduated last week with high honors. Sarah Beth Brewton. Hazel Sawyer. BRlCE: They tell me she'ii be home soon. i wonder how Sait Fork will seem to her now, after her years of schooling. BROCK: Pardon me, ma'am. I'm, uh, looking for a little sawed-off, freckled, ugly runt of a girl. I'm looking for a handsome young gentleman. Well, you found what you're looking for, but how about me; You went and changed on us. -Oh, Brock. -Hello, Sarah Beth. Where's Papa; Papa. Papa. Good to see you, Sarah Beth. Oh, I might've known you'd be like this, both of you. -Like what; -Oh, good-looking. A couple of years do a lot for a young lady, don't they; Well, what did you expect; Of me, I mean. Not as much as we got, eh, Brock; Not half. I don't know, though, looks stuck up to me. -Probably won't like our town anymore. -Your town; -My town. -Oh, maybe you'll do, huh, colonel; Well, it's the same old place, same.... -l'm gonna leave you here. -Where are you going; At Charley's. Cards are pretty hot for me today. You better not get fresh with Charley. He can teach you. Yeah; Charley said you were pretty good at cards, but I was better. I can take Charley the best day he ever lived with you standing on his shoulders. Try it any time you say, colonel. Any time at all. I'll bet the women spoil him silly. -Yeah. -Not only the women, either. Jeff says he can charm the gold out of your teeth. How is Jeff, Papa; Well, he's like everything else around here, lost his bite. JEFF: Not much like the nightgown you wore when I put you to bed. -Oh, Jeff. -Ha, ha. How do you like the way I fixed up your room; -Oh, it's beautiful. -ls it, though; Got my idea from one them magazines. -Well, if you want anything, yell. -Oh, don't go, I wanna talk to you. -l wanna know about Brock. -What you wanna know; Oh, just how he's been, what he's been doing. Oh, same as always. Brock's been having a good time for Brock. What you doing; -Where'd this come from; -l've been saving it. Why don't you ask me some more questions, Sarah Beth; -About what; -About her. Ain't you curious about your mother; You never think of her; -What for; -She's your mother. I don't know who she is. Don't you ever wonder why she's never come to see you; -You always say good things about her. -You always stuff your ears when I did. She gave up a lot when she went away and she hasn't got much left now. How about Papa; Has he got anything left; -He's got you. -He's got Brock. Yeah. Brock. [whistling] HORTON: Please stop whistling. Ten. Ten, I raise you 2o. Call you. -Three tres. -Three deuces. CHARLEY: You can't beat that boy. -Nobody can beat that kid. -That's right, Charley. Nobody ever has. You ought to know that, Bill. Yeah, I know. Six. Misdeal, isn't it; Oh, have you got six too; Five. I could've used another. HORTON: Look, kid, gambling is my business. Yeah. And I know my business. After this, if I've got six cards, I'll make it known. Sure. You bet. You deal. -Any of you seen Judge Chamberlain; -No, what do you want with him; MAN 1 : His office wants him. CHARLEY: Try the bank. Forget it, Joe. He didn't mean anything. It's all right, Charley. All right, kid, you're the judge. -Judge of what; -Go ahead, deal. Three, judge. Thank you, judge. Three for the judge. Ten dollars. I'll let you off with a light sentence. Pair of nines. Pair of dogs. I didn't know you had a twin brother, judge. All right, Brock, the door's open. It's temporary, anyhow. Who opened it for me, Bill; I suppose I ought to say thanks. I don't know the party. Ho! [playing piano] Brock, you're home. Papa, Brock's home. Well, were you still as lucky; Oh, sure, I'm always lucky. -Stop that, play something else. -Like; Well, anything but that funeral march. Play something with people in it. Can't have a funeral without people. Have dinner; Yeah. Ate at Bailey's place on the way out. -Brock said he was lucky again, Papa. -Really; That's funny. -Looks to me like the boys took him. -They tried. -l was playing with Joe Horton. -Horton; He's a bad boy. -You wanna look out for him. -l did, in one hand, especially. We both drew one, only I drew first. Got him right in the belly. You mean you shot him; Not conclusively. He's gonna live. What happened; How'd the fight start; I had a few too many, I guess. I don't remember. I never saw you that drunk. Then I'm a liar. -How long were you in jail; -Not long. Who got you out, McCurtin; Hasn't he always before; Yeah. When are you going to tell me how the fight started; I told you, I was drunk. Now, if you'd rather I hadn't come home, I'll get out. I'd rather you didn't lie, Brock. Come on, let's go into town and face whatever's got to be faced. Not me. I'm going to Denver. You're going to Salt Fork and get this thing over with. Then you're coming back here. And it might be a good idea if you spent a little more time here in the future. You can't run me anymore. I wasn't cut out for living your way and I'm sick of trying. I'd rather be stuffed in a coffin. I don't mind the shooting. I wouldn't give much if you couldn't defend yourself but jumping bail is another thing. It isn't square. I want you to go into town and stand trial on your own feet. Clear yourself or take the consequences. That's the only way to work it out, Brock. When you've got something more to say to me, I'll be around. That was nice, that was fine. -Take it easy. -You can hurt him more than anyone. -You know that, don't you; -Take it easy. I thought you were leaving. I gotta think. How can a man think without a little music; -Jim here; -Around someplace. -Out back, I guess. -Where's Brock; Hello, Mr. McCurtin. -You tell them about the shooting, Brock; -Oh, hello, Mac. Sure, I told them. What's the matter; Horton died. -l figured he was too mean to die. -l can get you off, once more, maybe. You must've had good reason to shoot a man. You had one, didn't you; Good reason; -Why, sure, the best. -Better come back in with me. -Have you told the colonel; -No, I can't face him. I've gone that one time over, bringing him bad news. Are you coming; No. Then I'm finished, Brock, as far as you're concerned. Too much for me. One last word. I advise you to get in town, fast. Sarah Beth, tell your father I couldn't wait. You can get out of this yourself or the way you got out of jail. What did Mr. McCurtin mean, the way you got out; -He got you out, didn't he; -No. -Who did; -Chamberlain. I guess he figures the young and foolish should have another chance. All right, Brock, you don't have to cover up with me. I've known for a long time. -When; -For sure when I was 15. -How; -A lot of things put together. And before I went back to school the last time I knew you knew it, and I knew Papa did. I could kill Chamberlain. That's what the trouble was about. This fellow I was gambling with, he said a few things. That's why I couldn't tell the colonel. I couldn't let him know that I know. Oh, Brock. We've been around a lot together, the colonel and me and he never let anybody even think anything once, at least not out loud. Oh, don't I know. I'm glad I know that too. I mean, that you love him. If I hated him, I'd be all right, then we could walk down the street together and I wouldn't mind feeling him cringe, never let on. I should've gone away from here a long time ago. But he's hard to leave. -Now I gotta get out of here fast. -Don't run away, Brock. Mr. McCurtin could get you off, couldn't he; Oh, sure, easy. Jury wouldn't even leave its box. -Then face it like Papa wants you to. -Ever been to a trial, Sarah Beth; Lots of things come out of trials. Whole mess comes out. Salt Fork would eat this up with a spoon. And he's had enough. Go on, Sarah Beth, sit down and play a tune by yourself. You'll have to get used to it. And tell the colonel nothing. Jeff said McCurtin was here. What'd he want; -Nothing. -Where you going; -First lap on my trip to Denver. -Get down off that horse, Brock. Get out of my way. Well, Sarah Beth, I'll try to understand why he had to go. I didn't try with someone else a long time ago. I've always been sorry. Well, colonel, then if Brock ain't here, we just gotta find him and take him in. -Why; -l thought McCurtin told you. Horton died. Sorry, colonel. -Things fall that way sometimes, Bill. -Yeah. Sure he ain't here; You can look. I.... l shouldn't have asked that, colonel. Good night. Night. Why is Brock frightened, Sarah Beth; Doesn't he know Mac can get him off; Yes, Papa, he knows that, but he knows he can't get you off. The man Brock shot, he called Brock names. Not pretty names, either. They'd sound awful at a trial. Especially when they're true. Brock thought-- He wanted to spare you something. He can't spare me anything. It seems none of us can spare the others anything. You go to bed, Sarah Beth. I've got to find him. I've got to get to him before he does something. I've got to get to him before some sheriff gets him. He's a good boy, Sarah Beth. Yes, I'm glad we know how good. You find him, Papa. I'll find him. Get your Afternoon Star right over-- Here's your change, lady. Late Afternoon Star. Thank you, sir. Over here. Get your Late Afternoon Star. Afternoon Star: Latest news in the latest paper. That's the idea. Thank you, sir. Late Afternoon Star right over here. Get your Late Afternoon Star. Here comes the colonel. He's in that cabin, colonel. You can't go down there, colonel. The boy's gone crazy. BROCK: Go on, back! No one's taking me and that goes for you too. Stay there or I'll drop you, I meant it. Your last chance to turn around. I'll count three. One. Two. Three. Send the doc. Hurry it up. Hello, Dad. Why am I calling you dad; -You used to call me that, Brock. -Not since I got old enough to know better. Growing up. That's great, isn't it; Don't talk. Don't talk. You don't scare worth a nickel, Dad. -Docs always try, don't they; -Lie still, kid. Lie still; Not while I'm still breathing in and out. Lying still comes later. Not much later, though, huh, doc; Hello, sheriff. Somebody left a note for you. Right side of you. Brock. Your sister sends her love, son. Good girl. Good, bright girl. She told me, Brock. She told me why you ducked out. And, Brock, your mother... -...there's something-- -Dad, let's go down to Charley's, huh; Let's drink all the boys under the table. And then when there's just me and you left, I'll drink you under. Ask Charley. How about it Dad; Dad. -l got it for you, last stop, ma'am. -[MOUTHlNG] Thank you. MAN: --nothing today. I beg your pardon. ls there a train leaving for San Francisco tomorrow; -One at 1 1 :oo tonight. LUTlE: Thank you. And so we have come to pay our last respects and to say goodbye to Brock Brewton. Beloved son of James B. and Lutie C. Brewton. This young man has departed from our midst. The Lord gave, the Lord bath taken away. Let us pray. Come in. Just put the coffee on the table, please. -You're Sarah Beth; -Yes. Your-- -Please sit. -There's no need for that. I have something to say and then I'm going. -How did you know I was here; -l have a room at the hotel. The clerk told me. I'm not gonna let you hurt Pop anymore. He can't stand any more. Maybe you couldn't hurt him, even if you tried. Maybe there's not anything that can hurt him, not after Brock. I hope so because nobody can stand any more. Even him. So maybe the pain's over now. Unless you've brought him more. Have you; What do you want of him; Nothing. I came to help Brock. I didn't know he-- l didn't know until the train was almost here. I'm not even going to see your father, Sarah Beth. I might try if I thought I could make up a little to him and to you for all the years, but I know I couldn't. He tried to tell me how he felt. How the grass was somehow godly to him. He tried to tell me and I didn't hear. And he was right. Those years are gone and my chance with them. I'll leave tonight, Sarah Beth. But I'm not sorry I came now because I'll take something back with me which means a great deal to me. The knowledge that he has you. You to fight for him, be there when he needs you. To be what I wasn't strong enough to be. He didn't come to St. Louis for nothing. And now when he's lost it all, everything when he needs something human at last you'll come into the field. No, he didn't come to St. Louis for nothing. And all at once, that gives me peace a kind of happiness even. I haven't felt that for a very long time. Just one thing. Some night when he's sitting on the porch, Sarah Beth, give him a kiss from me. Don't, Mother. Don't. I'm glad you're home, colonel. Buckboard with Sarah Beth get in; I missed seeing her start. Maybe you'd better go on in the house, colonel. jim: Sarah Beth; -Papa, come here. Mother wanted to be waiting for you here, Papa. The way she used to be. Lutie. You're well; Yes, Jim. And you; You look as you always did. Do I, Jim; Papa. It was a hard thing for her to go through, but she's one in a thousand. No one else will ever be like her. [English - US - SDH] 2000 AD Summer We couldn't have known how important, ...that summer would turn out to be. Until that day... Hey, wait up! Toshi, slow down. I'm the boss. Slaves follow! That's not fair! Don't run. Watch out for gopher holes! I still can't believe it. Shut up, will you? Fell right in, and bumped your head. Weren't you gonna warn me? No! You saw us jump, yeah? You should've figured it out. Let's finish this, ...or we'll miss the campfire. What's that? Toshi, wait! - He's always like this. - Don't leave us! Ouch. Yusuki? Misaki? You scared me. What're you doing? What're YOU doing? I was in my hut and there was that flash... I saw it! I came to check it out. Not again! What're you doing? Let's go! It's a ball... That's obvious. What do we do? Yusuki, you touch it. It's fine. Just touch it. Don't. We don't know what it is. You're all useless. Stop! Don't! Leave it! What is it? Tetra meets Yusuki. Tetra? Tetra waited for you. Toshi, can I take it home? Why you? Please, please Yusuki is our robot freak. It's gotta be him. - Shall we let him? - Can I? Really? But it's not yours to keep. Great! Really great. And so began our summer with Tetra. He lived in my closet like an old friend, ...who'd been there for years. Hello, Misaki! Hello. Is Yusuki home? He's been in his room all morning ...just go on in. Anybody home? Whassup... How is he, Yusuki? I'm so sorry! You gave me a fright. Didn't you hear me? Sorry. But boy, you scared me! My heart's thumping. Stuff for Tetra. Thanks. Here's the aluminum. How about this? Let's ask Tetra! Choose what you need. He's so cute! He likes that. What's he making? Dunno. But there's lots of parts, ...and he's real quick. We interrupting? Don't just barge in. Your Mom said it was okay. How's Tetty? Be careful. Let's find those parts, okay? Okay! We're going. It's okay. I'll do it. You mean your Mom will... Thanks for having us. Um... It's kinda dark. I'll walk you home. Really? Don't bother. She lives near me. Misaki, let's go! Okay, I'll come back soon. Bye, Tetty. See ya. An unexpected rival appears... His chances are good. Yusuki is on the defensive... Get lost! Ooh, I'm scared. Why get in the way? They're so soppy, it makes me puke. Really? Really what? What're you saying? Don't you like her as well? Childhood friends, blossoming into more... No way! Not with a tomboy like that. Get on. Hold tight. Yeah, I know. What's up? Dad? Something wrong? Well... How do you tell someone... It doesn't matter. I'm home. They're mad at you. Why? Said you'd stay-in this afternoon. I didn't. Anyway, you were home. I'm here on vacation... I do what I want. I might go jogging. Cousins should help out. I'll tell your Dad. Noriko just hangs out doing nothing You want to be like that? Then I won't cover for you again. I'm joking, please be on my side! 100,000 kms from Earth Okay, okay, what're you barking at? Let's go. Quit it. We're going. A storm? My ears are popping. Let's go. Okay, okay, what're you barking at? Okay, okay, what're you barking at? The ocean-going Blue Sea Turtle, ...is one of nature's mysteries. It wanders far across the Atlantic and Pacific oceans... Excuse me, but I'm closing up now. It's the end of the road for him. Yoghurt Processing Plant He's got no immunity ...to our bacteria. They won't be back to Earth in a hurry. Thanks to the bacteria in yoghurt... Ouch. That hurt. Very hurt. There's a part I still need. Five a.m. Welcome to the day. What the hell are you doing? Why's it open? Say something! Okay, okay, what're you barking at? Spill the beans, we know you did it! See you next week. Let's go to our reporter live at the scene... He's got no immunity, ...to our bacteria. What's she talking about? Quiet, the old guy'll be furious. Don't worry. How about this? Looks good. Wanna keep this? For now. Check this out! Ah, my speakers! Where is she? 15 minutes late. Whassup! Hey, old man! I'm beat! Running off by yourself! Give us a break! Amazing! Good morning. G'morning! You're early. What're you up to? It's a secret. You were heavy. You offered me the ride. Hey, there. Can we go in? Morning! Come on, show us! I couldn't sleep last night. It's only just finished. But we want to see it, too. Just a little longer. Stop teasing us! Just a second. Don't snoop. I wasn't. Here. Why only three? 'Cos you've got a tummy ache. I want some. No, not for you. Ready now? Hold on. What? Snacks. THANK YOU... You're not to have one. Yeah, yeah. Watch your language. Whatever. You handled that well. We should be okay now. Look, here he is! Walking by himself! He did it! So cute! Tetra, bodywork complete. Tetra wants to use the internet. But no-one's got a computer. How about at school? It was stolen, remember? The new one's kept locked. Especially during vacation. How do you know? Well, I just know... What about PlayStation2? No way! Can you? Even though it ain't a computer? I read it somewhere. You sure? - How do you do it? - Where? Where? Whaddya have to do? Don't you plug in the phone? - Which part? - I don't get it. What about that guy, Taka? We need to ask you something. How d'ya get on the 'net with PlayStation2? We can't? ! But I heard you could. Says we need an adapter... But we don't have one! Who does he think we are? We ain't got one. Have you? Why the hell not? That was no use. We're back to square one. Doesn't Taka have a computer? No, he just knows a lot. Buys magazines then can't afford a computer. What's up? That guy, Kanzaki! He'll have one. That weirdo electrician? He's not a weirdo! Who, who? My Dad told me. So the weirdo's got a computer? He's not weird. He's perfectly normal. There's that old electricians behind school... Yeah, that old place. He's an inventor-freak. Always fiddling about. How can we get him to help us, ...but not show him Tetra? Leave it to me. It's my 'hood. Kanzaki Wireless Repair What's that? For my stomach ache... Powdered yoghurt culture. Have you got the runs! ? No, shut up! Here he is. Repairing someone's AC. It's that time of year. We've got two hours at least. So? You wanna use the 'net? Gotta sneak in. Is that okay? Always such a chicken. That one. 4D Calculator? No. AOL? Okay. Click it twice. We're in! Sorry to scare you. I was shocked too, though. We're very sorry. Not at all. No problem. So why my computer? There's this... This what? Amazing stuff, ...you've got here! He's sucking up. Dead right. Top of the line. Must be expensive? To buy, yes. But I rent. Not including the special stuff, it's about a million a year. A million! I invented some stuff in high school. Royalties from that... and these games, ...bring in quite a lot. Know this? Did you make The Last Legend? Just the basic program. That and Craps and Rappies... Are they well-known? Don't you know? So what are you researching now? Tempo-spatial applications of gravitational physics. Or put simply... Don't laugh. A time machine. There's already a way to leap to the future. Liquid nitrogen. Wow! Add one goldfish. Oh, no! For him, time has stopped. Is it dead? No. Watch carefully. Now, he's in the future. He leapt through the time he was frozen. No, that's not right. On TV, time machines go zoom... Yeah, up and back between past and present. Correct. And that's what I'm studying. Follow me, please. I'll show you an amazing trick. I'm going to make this Pikachu disappear. Wow! What did you do? It's gone. We created a mini black hole ...at the micro level. It's called a worm home. Where'd the paper go? First, it became incredibly small. Then, crossed dimensions, ...and came out of another hole. Where's the other worm hole? Wanna see it? What if he kidnaps us? You've got your cell phone. No service. Isn't he a weirdo? That's only what my Dad said. She drove off. She's not rational. Tell me the truth. She's upset. Um, are you still with her? Look, I told you... I told you we were having problems. Are you still with her? All this time, you were... ..you were just lying to me about being separated. Technically, she was in Melbourne, I was here. Oh, my God. I... I just wanted to be with you. Oh, my God. OK, I can explain everything. Do you know what? Don't even bother. Because I can see that the next word out of your mouth is gonna be a lie. OK, Grace, let's just be grown-up about... Just get out. Let's be grown-up... Just get out! You heard her. Hm? Now, you have fun. That is an order. You're going to enjoy bossing everyone around in Singapore? Too soon to be funny. Be happy. Mwah. Rio awaits, and I've got a meeting at the office to get to. Oh, I'll miss you. Bye. Look after yourself. I will. Fingers crossed. Ciao, bella. Ciao. Thank you. Are you ready? Alright, bro. Oh, wait! Can I borrow that? Rob, what are you doing? Hey! Rob! Oi! Hold up! Wait! Hey! Stop, stop! Hey. I want you to have a great time over there, but then I want you to come back. I want you to come back to me. Oh. OK. OK. Bye. Whoo-hoo! Hey. It's back. Yes. He reckons it's got rust in it. I mean, what vintage car doesn't have rust in it? It's ridiculous. Maybe it's a sign you have to keep it. No, Mum. It's not a sign, I'm going to sell it. Again. Are you serious? Are you selling this car? Ah, yeah. Sold. Sorry? I'm buying it. It's... it's got rust. Yeah, of course it does. What car this old doesn't have rust? Tom, can we take it out? What was it, Tom? "Nice smile, mentally stable." Ssshh. I don't want to listen to another word. Previously on The Fosters... I gave the money to Ana so she'd change her story. - You bribed her? - I'll tell the DA. - I want $10,000. - That freaking woman. I could kill her. You are gonna stay as far away from that woman as possible. You saw Ana Gutierrez in an argument the night that she went missing? - Is this the guy? - Yeah, this is the guy. - Donald isn't my dad? - Not according to the birth certificate. It says Robert Quinn? Until there is signed consent from Robert Quinn, the adoption of Callie Jacob is denied. Told you I was gonna hit you where it hurt. Your bones are shattered in several places. - He's gonna need surgery. - He's a pianist. Our concern right now is making sure he can still use it at all. - What are you doing up? - Can't sleep. You? I remember when you used to crawl into bed with me when that happened. Yeah, I thought I'd, uh, spare you tonight. Hm. Then you'd end up sprawled out sideways, your feet next to my head, kicking me in the face all night long. See, I remember it as you headbutting my feet, actually. Really? Then Mama would viciously attack your elbows with her ribs? Really? Yeah. Sorry about that. Sounds terrible. Eh... it was pretty nice. Back when that was all it took to make you feel safe. - How's it feel? - About the same. Still numb? What if I, um can't ever play again like I used to? Honey, don't think like that. You can't think like that, ok? You just have to keep trying, keep at it, you know? Don't you ever give up on your dream, you hear me? - We don't have any oranges? - Sorry. I think I took the last one. And the bread? All we have are the ends. This is like The Hunger Games. You do know those books aren't actually about food, right? Sorry, guys, I'll hit the market today, I promise. - Good morning. - Morning. Are we out of... ? - Everything! - Bacon, we've got bacon. Have some bacon. Come on. I made it last night. I want everybody home for family dinner tonight. - Five p.m. Yes? - Wrestling won't be done... - What about dance? - Do I hear six p.m.? Anybody? I have work, I was just gonna eat there with Daphne. But I will eat here instead. Um, I'm supposed to go to the batting cages with Connor. Batting cages, as in baseball? Yeah, Connor and his dad go all the time. And they invited me. I think that's great, sweetheart. I never knew you were a baseball guy. I haven't really played that much. But who knows, maybe I'm really good. - Yeah, maybe. - Just have fun, baby, that's all that counts. So, Mom, I was thinking about what you said last night. About not giving up? - Right. - And I think I want the surgery. Try to repair the nerve damage. Ok. Um... The doctor said that it's a difficult and complex procedure. And if things don't go as hoped, your hand could actually get worse. Yeah, I mean, she said there's a chance of that. She also said that if the surgery did cause damage, that it could... it could actually be permanent. You've got almost 95 percent function now. That's better than the doctors even hoped. But if I'm gonna play piano, though, I need 100 percent. So I'd like to give it a shot. - So we agreed? You're good? - Yeah. It's the right call. - Ok. - Ok. - I'll let Brandon know. - Ok. Oh, and tell him if he wants to come by, that, you know, I'm here. - I will. - Ok. Gotta hit the shower. - Let yourself out? - Yeah. Thanks a lot for letting me barge in like this. Appreciate it. - Oh, no worries. - Ok, uh... You know, there's something I wanted to ask you, something Brandon told me about the night before he was attacked. Mike was drinking? Yeah. He had a little slip, but he's been sober ever since, going to meetings every day. Oh, that's great. Good for him. Brandon said that he was in a fight. Yeah, I guess so. He blacked out so he didn't really remember anything. Oh, gosh... But there was blood on his hands when you found him? That's... A little. He was fine. - Was it his blood? - Stef. If you have questions about Mike's sobriety, you have to ask him. Of course. Of course I should. You're right. Sorry. Thank you so much for the coffee. Appreciate it. All right, Jude, just keep your eye on the ball, buddy. Takes a little getting used to. Just hang in there, kid. Um, you might wanna hang on to the bat a little tighter too. Here, grab another one, all right? Hey, Connor, let's go, come on. Throw a token in there, let's see what you got. Come on, buddy. What'd we talk about this year? - Balance and torque. - That's right, come on. Let's go! See what you got. Hey, your head's moving all over the place, like this. You're all over. Connor, pivot the back foot. Pivot like this. Pivot. That's better. Hey, way to go. Nice hit. Good job. Look, that front foot's gotta land in the same place every time. - It slipped. - No excuses! Come on! Hey, what's the matter with you? Your focus is all over the place today. Need a refill? A soda? - Uh, it's a vanilla shake. - Oh, yeah. We don't do refills on shakes. - Yeah. I figured. - Yeah, vanilla's my favorite. It has to be really good vanilla, though. You should, um, check out the place down the street, in the mini-mall on Olamar. Best shakes in town. Do you work every day after school? That's gotta be tough. Um, no, just three days. My moms don't want me to work any more than that. - Moms? - Yeah. - Cool. - It is. Oh, don't worry, I'll grab that. Oh, thanks. See you soon. Oh... down the street, I'm telling you. - You're really good. - Not good enough. I thought you did great, way better than me. I'm supposed to be good at this. - Damn! - What? - Someone left us a hundred-dollar tip! - What? - A hundred dollars, yo! - Oh, my God! Who do you think it was? I don't know. Vanilla milkshake? He sure was chatting you up. - Please. - Come on, girl. You know he likes you. - Shut up. - He wants some of that. - Daphne! - If he keeps giving us hundred dollars bills, - he can have all the vanilla milkshake he want! - Ow! I just don't understand why we have to do any of this. Well, if you want him to sign off, these are his terms. Yes, but it makes no sense. It's not like she's asking him for anything. Sit down, love. So, Callie, we heard back from Robert Quinn's lawyer. - Ok. - And he won't sign anything until there's a DNA test, to prove that you're his daughter. So... I seriously can't handle sharing the gym with the wrestlers anymore. - The gym smells like feet. - Well, that's appetizing. And all the boys ever do is stare at us. Pervs. Well, it's not awesome for me either, hearing guys talk about how hot my sister is. - Which guys? - Besides, I see the dance team checking us out too. That Hayley girl, can't take her eyes off me. Oh, yeah? Hayley, the one with the college boyfriend Hayley? She dates boys in college? None of the girls on the dance team date boys in high school. - Oh. We'll see about that. - Better not let Emma hear you. Please, I can handle Emma. What? I pretty sure no one handles Emma but Emma. Hey, Brandon! We'd like to eat, sometime this year! Jude, how did the batting cages go? Do we need to call the Padres, see if they need another big hit in their lineup? - Huh? - I don't think so. Oh, come on! Planning my retirement. - Bread me. - Oh! Guys! So we, uh, make an appointment yet for the hand surgeon? - Uh, no. - Why not? Well, I talked it all over with your father. Is this about money or something? Isn't that what the settlement from Vico is for? - Fix my freaking hand? - No, Brandon, it's not about money. We just, um... we just feel that it's a little too risky, Brandon. And, uh... your father and I are saying no. I don't get this. It's my hand, my money, my life. And I wanna play piano again. Like, really play. Why is this so hard to understand? I want the surgery. Brandon, we are eating dinner. Can we please discuss this later? Yeah, well, I'm not hungry. - So you talked to Mike? - This afternoon. And you just... decided? Shouldn't it be Brandon's decision? He's the one who got his ass kicked. I wouldn't put it that way, but that's a good point. What if it doesn't work? I mean, what if he can't use his fingers at all? Look, Mike and I talked through all of this. And you made your decision. Got it. Hey. Nice coat rack. Yeah, well, might as well use it for something. Brandon. I mean, you can still play, right? Not classical. Not the way I did. OK, so all music is dead to you then? - No, but... - Well, it sounds like that's what you're risking, - if you have this surgery. - Ok. Look, I had a future. That's not something you just throw away. But what if you're not throwing it away? What if it's just... a different future? What if it doesn't have to be that way, though? I mean, why is everyone focusing on the worst-case scenario? Ok, yeah, I'm sorry. I hear you. It's... I hate it when people assume the worst. - Like your birth dad? - Yeah, like him. I guess he owns, like, this big company or something. So he is making me take this DNA test and... and sign this agreement that says that I'll never sue him. - That's crazy. - Like I want his money? Just sign the papers, and then sail off on your yacht and I promise I will never think of you ever again. - And I have to see him. - Why? 'Cause we both have to be there at the test, to make sure that nothing gets switched or whatever. I know you didn't want to know anything about him. Guess I don't have a choice. Some people do. Just think about it. I'm really busy, Timothy. What is it you need? I, um, wanted to let you know that I've been asked to represent the teachers on the search committee for the new principal. I know that you have, um, thrown your hat in the ring, and... And you should recuse yourself. What I was going to say was I plan on being completely professional and keeping any personal feelings out of it. - And I hope you will, too. - So I'm just supposed to trust you on this? After you gave me your word you would sign the donor contract, and then suddenly decided that you couldn't? Yeah. My client will be here any minute. And my client was pulled from school for this. I apologize, Mr. Quinn's been held up. He won't be able to make it. Will it be sufficient if you tell Mr. Quinn everything was done by the book? Absolutely. He no-showed? Are you kidding? What a jerk. He makes you jump through all these dumb hoops, the least he could do is show up. I didn't think I would care. You know, I had a plan. I wasn't even gonna look at him. And when I realized he wasn't coming at all, I just got this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. He doesn't even want to see me. Ugh! I just hate that he can make me feel like that. I know. That's the worst. At least when my birth mom balls I can tell myself it's 'cause she's a drug addict, right? Jealous. Don't hate. I did kinda want to see him, though. Just once. Just to know. Hey, uh, do you have any plans tonight? Um... no, why? Why do you care? Are you so shallow that you're afraid your social status will be diminished by a big brother who doesn't Yes. No, but really, Jesus and Emma are going to some all-ages show tonight at the Groundspace to see this band that Emma's friend is in. Now, Callie wants to come, but because Wyatt's out of town, I'm going with her so she doesn't feel like a third wheel. - So why do you need me? - We need a ride. I feel so loved. Um... I don't know, why don't you ride with Emma? We're trying not to be third and fourth wheels, remember? - You have to come. - To listen to some high school garage band? - Sounds like torture. - Hey, at least you don't need a fake ID to get in. - Too soon. - Come on. - So? - Girl, please. No one says no to Miss Thing. He's in. This better not suck. - Pull these two tables together. - Ok. - Emma! - Hey! - You brought a posse. Nice. - Yeah. - Hey, man. - Hey, man. This is your band? Yeah. It's me, Jasper and my cousin Lou. Not exactly Arcade Fire, but we can play a little. - Hey, you doing all right? - Oh, yeah. I'm ok. It's not quite where I want it to be, but hopefully one more surgery and I should be back to top form. That's great to hear. We're on soon. Um, Lou just pulled up. Punctual as always. A little help, here! And that's the end of my 20-second break. Good luck, man. So, Emma, what kind of music do they play? It's like an '80s pop vibe mixed with a little Black Keys. Cool. This is gonna be painful. Be nice. So, Emma, how do you know Mat? I think what she's trying to ask is, does he have a girlfriend? That's definitely what she's trying to ask. That's not what I was trying to ask. Do you guys want me to ask? Hey, Mat! No! That is not what I was asking. He's single. - Lou? - Yeah. Lucy. We're Someone's Little Sister. You know the old saying: yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery. So tonight? We rock your faces off. ♪ I ♪ ♪ I don't wanna waste your time ♪ ♪ And I don't need you wasting mine ♪ ♪ So leave it on the front lawn ♪ Not so painful now, is it? ♪ Drive ♪ ♪ Pull back the arrow ♪ ♪ Let it fly ♪ ♪ We can risk it all tonight ♪ ♪ Tomorrow's never gone ♪ ♪ Take it, leave it ♪ ♪ Show me every secret ♪ ♪ Crash on me like before ♪ ♪ A little more ♪ ♪ Save it, waste it ♪ ♪ Long as you can taste it ♪ ♪ I'm salt water and you're the ocean floor ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh I waited for you so long ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh... ♪ You're really burning the midnight oil, huh? I got to. I'm doing the work of two people until they can hire someone else. Speaking of which, guess who's on the search committee for the new principal? - Who? - Timothy. That seems complicated, doesn't it? Listen, I know that we could use the money, but, um, do you really want to be principal? It seems like it's a lot of work, and you are pregnant. You know? Is it really the right time for this, right now? No, you're right, it's a terrible time. But jobs like this don't come along very often, especially ones where I have the inside track. So yeah, I want it. And I don't want Timothy to ruin it for me. I got it. - Hey. - Hey, come on in. - Hey, Mike. - Hi. What's up? Uh, just work stuff. Can I talk to you for a sec? I've got some "work stuff" of my own to finish. Are you building a case to keep Brandon away from me? No. What are you... ? Then why are you pumping Dani for information? You know I fell off the wagon, why not just come to me, Stef? I wasn't pumping Dani for... You didn't just drink, Mike, you got into a fight. - You had blood on your hands. - So what? You afraid I'm gonna hurt Brandon or something? No, Mike, I'm worried about you. I'm fine. Ok? - I'm getting it together. - Where'd the blood come from? It's stupid. I got into a fight. At the bar. Some guy was bothering the waitress, and... I must have broke his nose. It was bleeding like crazy. So you did... So you didn't see Ana that night? Is that what this is about? You think it was her blood? You were so mad at her, Mike. Which is why I stayed away, just like we talked about. Yeah, you didn't talk to her? You didn't see her at all? You didn't try and scare her off so she wouldn't turn Brandon in... ? Stef, I swear. I did not talk to Ana, I certainly didn't lay a hand on her. Ok. Sorry. Ok. Step together. *** together. Right, left, and turn! And pose. I know what you're doing. What? Hanging out with my brothers and sisters? Listening to a little live music? Look, I think it's nice and all, but I don't... Where were those dance moves when we were up there playing? - Great show. - You were awesome! It was amazing, really. But we have to go. We do? We do. Good job, man. - What'd you think? - It was really good. Come on, you're a musician. You actually know what you're talking about. - Bring it. - Uh... ok. Um, your energy was really good. The songs are good, but, um, I don't know. I don't think they were being articulated as well as they could be, I guess. I know we're not as tight as middle school honors band. You guys used to play together? Yeah, in seventh grade. Well, then, you know that Brandon is a seriously great pianist. Like, seriously great. Like, even when I'm so sick of hearing him practice the same thing over and over again, that I think if I hear it one more time I might puncture my own eardrum, I can step back and recognize that it's actually pretty amazing. - Oh, I remember. He's super good. - He writes, too. We could use your help with something, actually. - No, I don't think... - Tightening up the sound, maybe get a few of the songs charted. So, what, we play the same stale version every time? Well, that's only how it starts. Once you know it, you can really play around. Unless you guys like the fact that you most of the time sound like you're rehearsing, basically. You're welcome not to attend our shows, if you don't like what we do. No, he didn't mean, um... no, he's a musician too. Classical. Well, maybe you're just a little too buttoned-up to get what we're about. - Wow. She's... - Intense. Yeah. And I've got, like, 30 seconds to follow her before she quits the band again. But dude, you got to come jam with us sometime. I don't think it's my thing. And it's definitely not her thing. Just think about it. We could probably use a little buttoning-up. - What is it? - We're in a car. So? So, like, our first time shouldn't be in a car. Don't worry about me. I don't need the whole candles and roses thing if you don't. - I don't. - Great. So, come here and kiss me. - Could you... less tongue? - Sure, sure. Slower. Ok, switch. - Kiss my neck. - You know what? It's almost time for my curfew. We better... I better get home. Ok? ♪ I ♪ ♪ I don't wanna waste your time ♪ ♪ And I don't need you wasting mine ♪ ♪ So leave it on the front lawn ♪ ♪ Drive ♪ ♪ Pull back the arrow ♪ ♪ Let it fly ♪ ♪ We can risk it all tonight ♪ That's really nice. Who is that? Just some band some kids at school started. I miss hearing music pouring from your room. It's always been one of my favorite things, even when you were little, and you weren't very good. Yeah, well... You know, for what it's worth, I think Mom and your dad are wrong on this one. I think... . I think if you want the operation, it's your hand. The only one who knows how it feels is you. Did I really just hear you tell our son that you think he should get the surgery? _ This is not what we do, Lena. What happened to "unified front"? - I, honestly, I disagree. - Fine, but you do not go undermining me with our son. - Our son? - Yes. Or your son? Look, Brandon is 16. He's old enough to know that we don't always agree on everything. And I wanted him to know that if he still believes in this dream, then so do I. It's not a dream, Lena, it is a fantasy. Do you really want to see Brandon devastated again? We can't protect our kids from disappointment. And if it happens, and I'm not entirely convinced that it will in this situation, then we help him, we help him to learn from it. Well, you have fun with that, because after all of the disappointments he's had over the last few months, I am sick and tired of teaching him that lesson. Hey. So guess what? Moms just bought me Dawn of Armageddon 4. Haven't even played it yet. We can open it when you come over. I can't spend the night tonight. Oh, ok. What about Saturday? I kinda can't sleep over at your house... ever. What? It's my dad, ok? He won't let me. Why? I... It's ok, just... tell me. I know it's not true, but my dad won't let me sleep over at your house because he thinks you're gay. I know you're not. I just... I have to do what he says. I'm sorry. What if I was gay? What do you mean? Would you not want to sleep over at my house if I really was gay? Hey. So... don't worry about last night. It was almost curfew, and there was a lot of pressure. Yeah. But you still want to... right? Of course. Um, Saturday night, we'll do it the right way, ok? Yeah, I'd like that. I got it all planned out. We can go to a really nice dinner. Totally on me. And then afterwards, maybe we can go to the beach. - The beach? - Yeah. What's wrong with the beach? Have you ever had sex on the beach? I know it's supposed to be all romantic and stuff, but there's sand everywhere, in all your business, and bugs. It's... It's pretty terrible. - Ok. - What? Nothing. It's just, you're so bossy sometimes, it's kind of a turn-off. Bossy? Wow. Well, I only said that because... No, that's cool, you know. I'll just, like, turn my brain off whenever we're together. - That's not what I meant. - So what? Did I, like, trick you into this or something? Did I pretend to be someone else that you... ? No. I mean, I like how independent you are. I just feel like sometimes it's kinda like you're dating yourself. Like it doesn't even matter whether I'm here or not. Well, congrats. It doesn't anymore. Emma. Emma! Your secret admirer's outside. It's all about the Benjamins, baby. Just what do you think $100 is gonna buy you? 'Cause you know what? I don't want your guilt money. Yeah, I know who you are. You're Robert Quinn. I Googled you, when you didn't show. Ok, look. I'm sorry. I took your DNA test. What else do you want from me? Five minutes. So you've been what? Stalking me? I just wanted to see you. If I wanted the best vanilla shakes, I would have gone down the street, right? I'm sorry... Look, you should know that I didn't want to put you through that test. Ok? It's my family's lawyers, they insisted on it. I don't want your money, ok? I want your signature on a piece of paper. As soon I saw you, I knew there was no need for a DNA test. You're my daughter. I know this is really, really confusing. Ok? Believe me, I get it. But you need to understand that before I was served those papers, - I had no idea you even existed. - No. My dad, Donald, he told me that you left after you found out Mom was pregnant. No. I never should have left your mom, that's the worst thing I've ever done in my life. But I swear I did not know she was pregnant. I loved your mom a lot. I brought you this. Just read it when you have the time. Are you going to sign the papers? As soon as my attorneys say it's ok. I gotta get back to work. Hey, just wanted to let you know we found a body near that halfway house. No ID yet, but it could be the woman you're looking for. ♪ I ♪ ♪ I don't wanna waste your time ♪ ♪ And I don't need you wasting mine ♪ ♪ So leave it on the front lawn ♪ - ♪ Drive ♪ - Hey. - Hey. - That was pretty cool. Oh, thanks. It's... it's nothing. Oh, come on. It's not just nothing. Um... So your mom and I've been talking. And I know you know that we're not exactly on the same page on this. But I don't know what to do, B. If we let you have the surgery and it causes more damage, are you gonna blame us when you're older because we let you make this decision when you were only 16? And if we don't, are we getting in the way of your dream? - I would never blame you. - But I would. I'm your mom, B, ok? I'm supposed to protect you. And, uh that's a lot harder... these days. I don't know what the right choice is. So if you want the surgery, I will talk to your dad, and we will consult with some other specialists so that we get a better picture of what we're looking at. Ok? We're not saying yes. But, uh, we're not saying no either. Um... I think I'm gonna wait. Yeah, maybe... maybe the feeling will come back on its own, right? That's what you want? Ok. - I love you, B. - I love you too, Mom. I'm proud of you. So, what are you up to tonight? Think I'm gonna work on this, actually. Sounds like a plan. Hey, guys. Anyone wanna play Dawn of Armageddon with me? I just got it. - Isn't Connor coming over? - No, he, um... he couldn't. Oh. How come? Well, I'll play with you, Judicorn. Run. "Dear Callie, My name is Sophia. I'm 14, and according to my dad, I'm your sister. I've never had any siblings, so when he told me about you, I couldn't believe it. My dad says we look just alike, so I sent you my picture. I know this must be really weird for you. It is for me, too. But I would really, really like to meet you. And I hope you want to meet me, too." Washington,DC, hasn't seen snow like this for Thanksgiving in decades. The roads are slick, and visibility is near zero. A bitterly cold windchill makes our nation's capital feel more like the frozen Arctic. What caused the shift in temperatures is this high-pressure system that you can see... I've flown in worse, honey. Paris. Yeah. Quick there and back. No leftovers- - I will be there to cut the turkey. I know, I know. There's my cab. Love you. I'll just be another minute. ...in Fairfax, not much better, and along the coast, our coldest temperatures, as we will dip down into the teens. The forecast of scattered showers in some areas was quickly turned into the wet, icy accumulation that we are seeing out there right now. So, let's go ahead and take a look at our local temperatures. Now, in DC, we can expect lows into the 20s. In Fairfax, not much better, and along the coast, our coldest temperatures, as we will dip down into the teens. This could let up at any time, but for the moment, we can expect one rough Thanksgiving weekend ahead. ♪ NCIS 12x09 ♪ Grounded Original Air Date on November 25, 2014 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man ♪ ♪ Let's go ahead and take a look at our local temperatures... Somehow a "White Thanksgiving" never sounds quite right. Tell me about it. Yesterday you were calling this a "chance of rain." Is he here yet? Is he here yet? Did I miss him? I just hung up with him, Abbs-- he's getting on the elevator. One very fast elevator. Hey. Ellie, he's adorable. Aw, thanks. Jake Malloy, this is the amazing Abby. - Oh. Uh, I-I could've guessed. - Hi. And this is McGee. Tim McGee. Tim. Of course. Ellie's been singing your praises all year. It's great to finally meet you both. Emphasis on "finally." Yeah. I know. Um, I'm sorry again, Abby, about missing your Halloween party. Oh, that's okay-- I'm sure you had some... super big, top secret emergency NSA meeting that you couldn't miss. Uh, we were being audited, actually. But yes-- once again, my job forced a last-minute change of plans. But not tonight. No. We are spending the holiday in Turks and Caicos with Jake's family, no matter what. You better get going, then. Gibbs. This is... Jake, yeah. How you doing? Gibbs. Wow. I'm good. Um, listen, I can't thank you enough for what you've meant to Ellie this past year. All of you. She's earned it. Turks, huh? Turks for Turkey Day. Yeah. Uh, the country Turkey might have been a little too on the nose. Uh, well, Gibbs is right- we should get going. Yeah. - Yeah, we should. 6:30 flight out of Dulles. Tony should be into Dulles about now. DiNozzo-- that's who's missing. His father's flying in from London. Maybe you'll see him there. Or maybe not. Airport's gonna be nuts. Actually, I'm thinking the snow might thin the crowds a little. All right, well, we'll see you guys. Nice meeting you. Your attention please-- Do not leave any baggage unattended... Are you sure I was okay? You heard Abby-- you were adorable. But that Gibbs-- I was babbling away about Turkey, and he's just looking at me with that look. The Gibbs look. Hello? Did you think I was making it up? You were great. Really. You okay? You seem on edge lately. The flight? No, no. I'm good flying. Okay. Just, um, I don't know, the holidays, I guess. I'm fine. Okay. We are so overdue for this. Ah. Sun, sand, warm, blue water... It's not as warm as you'd think this time of year. Tony! I thought I was gonna be stuck all by my lonesome when they announced Dad's flight took off late, when what should appear but a Thanksgiving miracle! Agent DiNozzo, I presume? The elusive Jake. It's nice to know Bishop hasn't been catfishing us all year-- I was starting to wonder. Well, you can stop wondering, Tony. As you can see, Jake is quite real. Unless he's a hologram that can shake hands. NSA's actually working on one of those- - I've seen the prototype. Yeah, that'd be pretty fun. Really? No. Ah. Aha. Had me for a second. That's too bad-- 'cause I'd like one of those. I like him. He's quick. Hey, speaking of quick, how'd you get all the way up here? Arrival pickups never get past Customs. It's all about the badge, Bish-- you got to know how to flash it. Oh. Oh, my. The classic Smelly Guy. Yet another vivid hue in the broad spectrum of airport humanity. Did he come straight from the gym? Two gyms and a cheese shop. And he's going to Turks. 12C? Oh, my God, we're 12A and B. Oh, we'll be fine. No. You'll die. Would it be awful to change seats? Not as awful as composting right before you come to the airport. Ugh! Okay, wish me luck. Jake, real quick. The metabolism-- how does she eat like that? Pretty, isn't it? Uh, oh. Yes, dear. It's just lovely, mm-hmm. It's lovely how it turned a one-hour drive into three, soaked a brand-new pair of my shoes right down to the toes. Yeah. Simply spectacular. Well, at least we'll be getting away from it for the holiday. I'm going to Calgary. Ladies and gentlemen, due to the unexpected weather conditions, all incoming and outgoing flights are being temporarily delayed. Every effort is being made to clear the runways, but until the snow lets up, everyone get comfortable-- could be an hour... could be more. Ooh. Excuse me. Hey, I said excuse me. Yeah, I heard you. Is there a problem, sir? I don't know. Is there? I heard my wife say "excuse me" just now. Doesn't that get an "excuse me" in return? It's all right, Jake. Some people just have better manners than others. That's okay, miss-- your husband's right. My bad. Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown. Your name's Jake-- you never heard that? All my life, Mr. Mulwray. You okay? Fine. You didn't have to. No, I... kind of did. Do we know that guy from somewhere? There's something about him. I've never seen him before. Like... from our supermarket? Maybe we go to the same dry cleaner? Well, while you keep guessing, why don't I go see if we can switch these seats, huh? All right. All right. Could we know him from work? All I know is, flight delays make nice people cranky and cranky people crankier. Well, he obviously falls under the latter category. ...that's not how I do things, understand? Yeah. Definitely the latter. How do I know that guy? So, anyway, there I was, still trying to be cool on my second day at NSA. It was my second day; your third. Right. I always mix that up. Mm-hmm. Anyway, I suddenly found myself needing a G-7 encryption form. Which are very hard to come by. Try impossible. But there was one left. And as I'm reaching for it... this.. force of nature beats me to it. I mean, we laugh about it now, but the rest, as they say, is history. I hate couples. You asked how we met. Granted, you kind of had to be there. Oh, no. No, not you guys. You're great. Just couples in general. The Jamaican resort I went to last Christmas, it was couples only. And you were flying solo? Changed my perspective. Couples everywhere. It was crazy. Look at this airport-- it's got every variety. Like those guys-- Self-Important Pete and his Electric Lady. Course, they haven't spoken directly to each other since the brownout of '06. Then there's those two-- Daddy Issues Debbie and her college professor Marty Midlife-- teaching her all he knows about advanced economics - and the Kama Sutra. - Wait. Tony, that's no couple. They're clearly father and daughter. Think so? Yeah. Watch the hands. The hands tell you everything. I stand corrected, and... disturbed. Okay... what about our cranky friend over there? Sum him up for us, Tony. Cranky car salesman. Lonely childhood. Behind on his quota. Regretting his life choices. Not a couple. And not familiar to either of you? Geez, Ellie, let it go. I'm trying, but... he's right there. You know, Tony, I don't mean to pin this on NCIS, but Ellie became much more suspicious about people since she joined you guys. That is so not true. Oh, you really like talking bad guys. Well, I have to talk about something, since we can't talk shop anymore. When we were both at NSA, we'd debrief every night after work-- but now that he's restricted from telling me anything, all I can do is talk about what we do every day. Chase bad guys. So I get where I may seem more suspicious, but... I'm not. Hey, why don't I get us some coffee. Well, there's Dirk, if it's a boy, obviously, or Oskar, with a "K." Oskar Palmer-- that's a lot of R's. Hmm. If it's a girl, we're thinking, uh, Freda, Greta, Liesel-- something sort of Von Trapp-ish. Come on, McGee, up and at 'em. Workday's over. We're talking baby names and snow angels. Can't right now. Maybe later. What do we got, McGee? How about you, Agent Gibbs? When was the last time you made a good snow angel? 'Cause it's... it's snowing. McGee. NTAS just issued an alert: possible terrorist chatter. They pick up chatter all the time. Subject is northeast U.S. airports. Attention, passengers-- due to extreme weather conditions... Oop. Sorry. Uh... Oh, hey. You again. Look, about before, uh, my husband has quite the chivalrous streak. Uh-huh. But, you know, now that I've run into you again... do we know each other? I feel like we've met before. Yeah. I don't think so. Has that ever happened to you? You see a face, you just can't place it? Not really, no. Oh. Delays are a drag, huh? Where you headed? Home to see family? Paris. Business. Ah, Paris. Huh. Who doesn't love Paris? Have a safe trip. Excuse me. Sure. Now you say "excuse me." Thanks. We're just killing time waiting for the storm to blow over. How credible a threat is it? It's elevated. Pretty typical this time of year, but... worth calling about. Well, man of few words. Maybe I'm wrong. She's not talking about you, boss. Bishop's husband know anything? Uh, there was some talk of chatter. Just some memos going around the office, but... Chatter? Well, snowstorm Yeah. will probably keep the terrorists home anyway, right? Yeah. It also keeps first responders and emergency service vehicles from getting through, DiNozzo, so... keep your eyes open. Copy that. You have been on edge. You knew. We're just hearing the chatter now? NSA heard about it days ago. Well, I'm... I'm a lawyer, Tony. My ear's not exactly pressed to the pipeline. So, you didn't... tell me? I didn't want to ruin our trip. Seriously? You know most chatter doesn't lead anywhere. All it manages to do is scare people. I also know that you would have never kept a secret if I was still at NSA. It's not a secret, Ellie, it's just a... you know, slightly calculated omission. You know what that sounds like? Like a reasonable justification. I think she was going for "lie," but "to-may-to, to-mah-to," let's not argue semantics. Let's talk national security. It's Thanksgiving, in an airport, and we have the usual menagerie. Here comes Walking Boot Wendy. Clearly faking it, in hopes of a free upgrade. I see you, Wendy. I see right through you. Ah, and the inevitable Pajama Man. Rolls out of bed, grabs his passport. Sees the world as his futon. Brad Pitt wants his hat back, hipster. Seriously, what are people thinking? My parents actually used to dress up to fly. Mine still does. You'll meet him when he gets here. Huh. Like that guy over there. Dapper Don. That's what I'm talking about. Jetting off to exotic locales, like James Bond chasing after Pussy Galore. No smelly tracksuit for that dude. What's with my Car Salesman? Thought you said you were wrong about him. Well, I said maybe, but... look at his pant cuff, Tony. Is that a gun? Could be. We have guns. Not Ellie. Uh... she packed hers. No, actually, mine's on me. Well, I-I thought you said you weren't comfortable traveling with it. Well, I wasn't at first, but it's become kind of a habit. Listen, this guy could be law enforcement, so let's show him ours and ask to see his. What, guns? Badges. Hey. Sorry to bother you. Again, you mean? Yeah. Uh, but this time I need to see some I.D. Well, too bad. I'm not Navy. She asked you a question. You're making a big mistake. Freeze. Hands where I can see them. Oh. Okay. Well, what's his deal? I'm an air marshal. Mike Beers. Thanks for blowing my cover. Sorry I drew on you, Mr. Beers. These two kind of... forced my hand. Just doing your job, Officer. But I will have to warn my fellow air marshals about skittish Navy cops. Okay, you could have quietly said something when I badged you. And you are aware of the recent chatter? It's my job to know. But look, I don't think anyone waiting for my Paris flight saw that, anyway, so let's just forget it. All right. No hard feelings, Mr. Beers. I guess we could all use one. One what? A beer. Your name. Ah. Right. Huh. "Huh" what? It's Gibbs. Want me to tell him? No, let me. Put him on speaker. You've got us both, Gibbs. You got anything to report? Nothing, boss. Just compared notes with a... rather cranky air marshal. He's aware of the chatter. Does he know that the chatter has changed? Threat level's been increased, and now it specifically mentions DC metropolitan airports. That is a game changer. It still could be nothing. Just keep your heads on a swivel. Call if anything's changed. You got anything else? Yeah, actually, Gibbs... No. That's it. Thanks. We should have told Gibbs. Later. Come on, McGee, answer. Aren't you gonna get that? Yes? Don't tell Gibbs it's me. Okay. Yes? The air marshal I mentioned before-- I need you to dig up anything you can on him. Name is Mike Beers. Well, that could take a while. TSA personnel files are always tightly wrapped. What's this about? Bishop knows the guy from somewhere. She's trying to figure out why. Soon as you can, McGee. Yeah. Don't look at me. Just do it. Is everything okay? What took so long? The air marshal, where'd he go? He's, um... the charging station. What was that about, Tony? Nothing I'm gonna tell Gibbs until we're sure about this guy. Sure about what? Well, that joke I told back there. It's like Jake with Chinatown. Anybody named Beers would be sick to death of a joke like that. That guy acted like he never heard it before. In strictly legal terms, Tony, someone having no sense of humor won't get you probable cause. Until we hear back from McGee, that's cause enough for me. Mind if I get Abby in the loop? Do it. Beers. Beers. Hey, Beers. Hey, come here, Beers. Beers Palmer. Huh? That's different. Do you want your kid to like you? Anything on the air marshal? Whoa. You know about this guy? McGee's got the name, you got the picture-- what's the big secret? I think that Bishop and Tony didn't want you to know that they blew his cover. And why did I just tell you that? - And why do you know that? - Because he's very, very nosy. So far, no hits on facial recognition. Abby, hey... Whoa. Boss. McGee? He knows, Tim. I talk too much. That your guy's info? Come here. Yeah, just, uh... just came in. Abby, check your in-box, please. Uh, I just sent you his I.D. photo. Oh. Great. Facial comparison should get us somewhere. Michael Beers, 41, retired Marine. Air marshal since 2010. Lives up in Syracuse. - Wife and two kids. - I'm digging this guy's glasses. Those would be cute on you, Gibbs. I mean, not that squinting isn't totally super cute on you, too. I checked his accounts, boss-- he's got an open credit card at a motel about a mile from here. Never checked out? Not yet, anyway. Well, okay, red flag city here. As much as these two look alike, the key markers-- it's definitely not a match. Well, who's that at the airport? I don't know. But whoever it is, it's not Air Marshal Mike Beers. All right, boss. You got it; we won't. Won't what? Why couldn't that be on speaker? Gibbs doesn't want to alert the innocent bystanders that our friend over there is an imposter. You were right. You were right. We were both right. Then who is he? Not a clue. All we know is he's got a gun, maybe worse. Gibbs says he's got a backup unit on the way. We don't make any moves until they get here. I'm gonna let McGee know. I can't believe you do this every day. Well, not every day, and not like this. You sure we're not too conspicuous? Not if we stand here like we're just talking to each other. We are talking to each other. You two with NCIS? I am. Special Agent Ellie Bishop. Special Agent DiNozzo. And I'm Jake Malloy. Lieutenant Janet Lewis. Now, where is this alleged imposter? He just went into the men's room. Calm and cool. Secure this whole area. No one enters until I say. Not quite the cavalry we were expecting. Yeah, well, I expected to be home right now getting my cranberries started, but we can't have everything. You have your service weapons? Oh, not me. I'm a-an attorney, with NSA. Attorneys stand over there, please. Be careful. I will be. Adorable. Okay, now, let's keep our weapons out of sight until we get in there. Last thing we want to do is panic this crowd. Can't we just evacuate this terminal? What's the last thing we want? No panic. Right. Okay, is the tutorial over? Let's get in there. Out of here. Beers, is that you? It's Janet Lewis, Beers. You haven't been answering your phone. Everything all right? Beers? Oh, my God. You're right, that's not Beers. But it sure looks like him. He's not anybody anymore. Looks like a stab wound. All right, it's time to shut down the airport. Not a problem. We've been unofficially shut down for the last 20 minutes. No vehicles in or out until this storm ends. His gun's gone, Tony. Great. We're snowed in here with an airport full of cranky passengers, a dead fake air marshal, and his killer somewhere on the loose, with a knife and a gun. Anybody else feel like they're playing "Clue"? Unbelievable. These shots will be coming to you from Jake's phone, McGee. We'll send them to Ducky, too. I think he's gonna be busy for a while. "And it ain't a fit night out for man nor beast." Yet I'm the one who had to get out and push the van, Shakespeare. That was W.C. Fields, Mr. Palmer, in The Fatal Glass of Beer. And I predict you will be pushing it again on the way back. You carry crime scene gloves now, too? Well, it's become kind of a habit. No I.D. on him, McGee, other than the air marshal credentials. If I had your crime scene gizmo, I could get his prints. Do you have any adhesive tape and baby powder handy? Wait, hold on, Bishop. Is that Beer's wallet? Yeah. Killer took his credentials but not this. Driver's license, cash, credit cards-- it's all there. What are you thinking? He wasn't looking to play air marshal very long. Just long enough to go to the airport to do what he needed to do. Whatever that was, he was obviously killed before he got the job done. Unless his job was to kill Beers and take his identity. And deliver his weapon to the airport. But deliver it to who? And why? Why would someone deliver a gun just to end up dead himself? Honor among thieves? That's not really a thing. Beers was a good man. But our TSA screeners don't know every air marshal on sight. New ones come through here every day. At least now we know what all the chatter was about. But whoever's got the gun is outside, waiting to use it. So we start searching passengers. That's one sure way to force our killer's hand. I was thinking of a less violent idea. He had to walk right past us in the eight minutes we were waiting outside. We have a surveillance camera pointed right at that door. Be right back, Bishop. Okay, Tony. I never should have doubted you. Well, you didn't. You're helping me. No, I-I mean before-- when you said... this guy was suspicious. I just thought I knew him. I still don't know why. Grab his arm. What? Yeah, just don't touch his skin. Oh. Perfect. Bandage? Right here. Okay... I can't get over your... speed. You used to spend months researching, analyzing, planning-- now you just... go. Jake, I'm still the same person. The same person having a conversation over a dead body. You guys know I'm still here, right? Any luck on those prints? Uh, yeah. We got one, McGee. Sending it straight to Abby. Is that what I think it is? Low-tech but effective. Who's lead officer on this wing? Uh... I'm real sorry, Lieutenant. I don't know how we missed that. Well, the good news is, there are other cameras pointed in this direction-- we just have to look at that footage. Restrooms stay closed until we can an M.E. here. And no one leaves until I check surveillance. Yes, ma'am. All right, let's go. Go? No. We got this. No, clearly, you're shorthanded. I appreciate your help, Agent DiNozzo, but airport surveillance is for TSA and our eyes only. That's Homeland's rules, not mine. Excuse me. Excuse me. Look, delays are bad enough, but now the bathrooms? Do you know who I am? There's something going on here, and you are not telling us. Folks, please, there's no cause for alarm. Passenger just had a medical issue in there. Excuse me. I'm a doctor. Can I help? Ah. thank you, Doctor. No, we've got everything under control. That's a sharp suit. Kudos to your tailor. But... everyone, can I have your attention? Thank you for your patience, but we do have a medical emergency, so in the spirit of the holiday, can we all just have a good wish-- - Give it a rest, you pretty boy! - Excuse me, I don't think that's necessary. You cram it, too! Appreciate the help, Doc. - Nice suit. - Clear this area, please. Everybody, can we just clear out of this area? There is another restroom under the stairs to the left. What's going on out here? Angry mob getting angrier. And somebody's still packing. There you are. City roads are bad enough-- forget about getting to the airport. That our fake air marshal? I.D.'d from the fingerprint that Bishop sent over. Facial recognition came up empty for a reason. This guy is a notorious chameleon. Well, it would explain why Bishop found him familiar, but not familiar enough. Norman Dopps. Name rings a bell. Maybe because he comes up on our Most Wanted updates every week. He's this go-to jack-of-all-trades for organized crime families and drug cartels and other horrible people that can afford him. Any terrorist affiliation? Probably... the only thing that's not on his record. Why? Chatter may not be about him. Not so fast, boss. Chatter's changed again. Look at this. On it, Gibbs. We'll call you back. I knew I'd seen his face before; the Most Wanted updates. I check them religiously. Well, I guess I'm only mildly religious. What did Gibbs say, Tony? Homeland now thinks it's an assassination plan. Assassination of who? - This guy? - No. He was delivering the gun to an assassin who is likely sitting out there right now. Well, then they should just shut down the terminal and question everybody. And let it happen again somewhere else? No dice. We got a locked room full of suspects out there, Inspector Poirot. Yeah, and if the target's out there, too, he'd probably be dead already. It's got to be someone on an incoming flight. McGee's running manifests right now, but... Oh. There he is. Well, that was fast, McGenius. Hey. Manifests are on their way. In the meantime, Gibbs wants to keep an extra set of eyes on you. But security at the airport won't let us access their surveillance. Yeah. They're very touchy about their cameras around here. Yeah, so much for interagency cooperation. Well, uh, look, if a camera's what's needed, maybe, uh... maybe this'll do. On three. One, two... Rest there, Mr. Beers. We'll get back to you shortly. Bishop's photos from the airport. Yeah, let's take a look at this imposter. Whoa. Is that me? Most likely the storm wreaking havoc with the power grid. Well, we still have power. Yeah, well, let's work quickly, Mr. Palmer, while we still can. Abby said our dead fake air marshal's name is Norman Dopps. Norman. There's a name, huh? Well, the Normans were Vikings. They settled on part of the coast of France. Yes, on what one day would become known as Normandy. See, now, that history is great, but I just couldn't do it to the little guy. Norman is a bit too Psycho- ish. You could always shorten it to Norm. Norm? Norm! Nah, see, I'd have to fight the urge to give the kid a beer. Oh. Here we go. Ah. Murder on the lavatory. Bishop sent these in the second e-mail. Yeah, it's quite a... nasty and narrow puncture wound. From a plastic knife, or something that could get past security? No, no, no, no, no. Something stronger, to pierce the rib cage. A nylon dagger. Or carbon fiber, perhaps. And based on the incision, it seems to have been twisted, twisted on entry. For maximum damage. Mm, clearly, an expert kill. How soon till we get these up to Jethro? Oh... I can bring them on my tablet. Do you know the meaning of the name Jethro? Ah, there would be some large shoes to fill. But what's in a name, Mr. Palmer? "That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet." That is Shakespeare, right? No, no, no. It's W.C. Fields again. Oh. He had a million of 'em. How's that angle for you, Tim? Can you see? It's the west side entrance to the terminal. Yeah, a little higher, Jake? Higher. Hm. Okay. How's that? That's good. Not bad. He's adorable, and he's tech-savvy. Yeah, that'll work, Jake. Thank you. Not my first body on a toilet, Jethro, but always a disturbing sight. Single blade to the left of the manubrium. I'd wager that his heart was pierced in a single thrust. - Do you need help? - Yeah, is there anything we can do? Yeah. You can help McGee go through the manifest. Both of you-- names and faces. Duck, take a look at the crowd-- looking for anything or anyone that doesn't look right. At an airport? Let me count the ways. All right, we've only got outgoing flights so far. Basic passenger info's printed on there, along with passport photos. So our killer's in the mix? Likely, under an alias. McGee, what is the holdup on those manifests? Well, systems are down everywhere, boss. Every airline and agency's backed up. I don't care. Our killer's target could be on one of those inbound flights. - I'll keep calling. - On the bright side, it looks like the snow's starting to let up. Geez, when you're looking for bad guys... They all look like bad guys. Well, it's letting up out there. Oh, finally, some relief. Yet I don't feel relieved. What? What are you doing? Surveillance gave us nothing. Oh, wait, not true-- I got to watch your initial takedown of our fake air marshal. Very stealthy. If you search these people, you risk cornering our killer-- that could end very badly. Which is the same fight I just had with Homeland, and lost. With three flights low on fuel and coming in for landings, they want this missing gun found right now. - Three flights landing? - We didn't know anything about that. Ladies and gentlemen, we're happy to report some good news. Tower confirms one runway has now been cleared to allow landings from incoming flights from London, Athens and Brussels. What does that do for us? How much longer do we have to wait? The first flight should be touching down in about 15 minutes! Thanks again for your patience. Well, so much for not forcing our gunman's hand. Just when I thought things couldn't get any more interesting. You have no idea. Tony's dad is on that London flight. Come on. Figure it out. Who's the target on the plane? Who's the hit man? Let's talk possible hit people first. We have a Joseph McBride. He's 49, from Springfield, Virginia. He's a lobbyist for a chemical company. Next. Ruth Potts, 62, Fairfax, retired schoolteacher, who wouldn't hurt a fly, obviously. Just look at that sweet lady. Next. Thanks. Boss, I got 'em. Manifests for 17 different inbound flights arriving to Dulles tonight. Okay, divvy 'em up. Deal me in as well. We are looking for a target significant enough to warrant killing a federal air marshal. Ladies and gentlemen, due to the extended delay, TSA is now required to perform a second routine screening. We apologize for any inconvenience, but we'll begin with Calgary flight 3184. If those passengers could calmly line up over there, please? Thank you. TSA isn't saying anything about landing order, Gibbs. They're all low on fuel, so... it's first come, first serve. Stay alert, Bishop. We're watching. Okay. What are they going to ask us to do next? Somebody's really gonna get hurt. Maybe they should've just shut down the terminal. And miss catching Professor Plum red-handed in the conservatory with the wrench? Don't tell me you're enjoying this. You know the NSA, sweetheart-- we don't get out much. London, Brussels, Athens... Speaking of Brussels-- fun fact: the Brussels sprout-- Americans like to drop the "S" and just say "Brussel," but... Jimmy. Put a sock in it, Mr. Palmer. Find the target, people. Let's go, let's go. Come on. Ladies and gentlemen, we will now be re-screening Paris flight 8247. Why screen us twice? It's not like any of us have gone anywhere. I know, but it only took a minute. Miss, can I give you a hand? Thank you for helping me. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You got something, Abbs? The London flight. Two Colombian federal agents and an unnamed third party. Scheduled to deplane at Dulles, and then connect on a later flight to Bogotá. Opportunity. McGee. Working on it. Opportunity, Agent Gibbs? Two feds and an unnamed party. Got to be a foreign leader, protected witness or fugitive. All possible targets for someone. That changing flights at Dulles would be a vulnerable moment and the killer's one chance to exact revenge. It's a great catch, Abbs. They're escorting Hector Gomez, a high-level member of Cartel Dominguez. Wanted for the murder of a rival cartel dealer. Gomez was captured hiding out in Wales, of all places. Colombian authorities were extraditing him this morning. That outgoing flight to Bogotá, do we have a manifest? There isn't one yet. Must have been a private charter. Who in that terminal is Colombian? Tell me about recent trips to South America, e-mails, anything. Cross-referencing DEA and CIA. That's a needle in a haystack. A haystack controlled by the world's most dangerous drug cartel. Hey, so, are those your fancy flying pajamas, or just your everyday casuals? Dude, I'm not getting re-screened. Uh-huh. Why's that? What... Don't. That's not mine. Go get re-screened. Dude. Um, it's the London flight, Tony. Our killer is waiting for it. Who's the target? Hector Gomez. Who? Ladies and gentlemen, we're pleased to announce the arrival of flight 3182 from London, now de-boarding at gate 212. You got anything? Who knew so many people travelled through Colombia? Wait. Who was that? Back it up. That is Alberto Velez, 52 years old, born in Santo Domingo. Who is that? Abby, get rid of his beard. Lighten his hair. Clean him up. I get it. I totally know where you're headed. Cross-reference him with the terminal crowd. Got him. I'm gonna have to ask you folks to clear this area here, please. Thank you. Excuse me. Lana, is it? I'm afraid you can't let anyone off that plane. They've been circling for hours. I only take orders from TSA. Tell her, Ellie. What's this all about? Have you found a gun yet? No, but we're not done screening. Well, unless you want an assassination on your hands, you're gonna move that plane to another gate. This is the only gate that's cleared, and the plane's already de-boarding. Oh, no. Oh, yes. Ladies and gentlemen, we are now pleased to announce the arrival of flight 3182 from London, now deplaning at gate 212. Esto es para ti, Gomez! Esto es para ti! Ah, lookie here. Dr. Dapper in the men's room with the carbon fiber knife. Happy Thanksgiving. How we doing, McGee? Good, boss. Bishop and Jake made their flight. And I actually got a text from Tony. Apparently, Senior... missed his flight from London and neglected to tell him. So Tony didn't have to be there? Nope. But he's gonna go back tomorrow. Senior-- he never disappoints. And as for our giving thanks, would anyone care to join me for a celebratory cocktail? On me, of course. Oh, then I'm in. Me, too. Me three! Me three! Gibbs? No, wait. Before that... I have a better idea. Snow angels. I'll give you one. == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man Ladies and gentlemen We'd like to welcome you on board. We're going to take off shortly. Please turn off all electronic devices. Fasten your seatbelt. Put your seat back upright and return the table to its locked position. Captain. We are ready to take off. Hello. Morning. Everyone please put on the oxygen mask and breathe normally. Eew... What the... Don't worry Everything's gonna be fine. Just kidding We are going to die! The plane is going down! Oh my god! I don't want to die! Everybody brace for impact. I FINE.. THANK YOU.. I FINE.. THANK YOU.. LOVE YOU I'm leaving now. Playing airplane was really fun. Tutor Pleng / Hey Hi / Hi Kaya I passed my interview at the company. I'm going to work in America! Wow. That's so good to hear. Congratulations. Because of you. Thank you. Thank you Tutor Pleng. Stop before I blush. Actually I need your help. I want to break up with my Thai boyfriend. Ok and then? He can't speak English and I can't speak Thai. You guys can't even talk to each other and how did you get together? You know S-E-X? It's all about SEX. Because sex is my life. Okay enough. I got it. Thank you Tutor Pleng. For what? For agreeing to help me breaking up with him. Oh no! I didn't say I would. But... I got you this Louis Vuitton bag for you. Oh yeah Breaking up with the guy is so easy. Don't worry. Thank you I grabbed it already. You have good taste. One original mocha ice blended please. Oh! I'm sorry. You have a problem? What are you looking at? Do I look like your husband? Gym? Kaya's boyfriend? Kaya gave me a voice message to translate to you. It's in this thumb drive. I'm going to begin, ok? Are you mixed? Hi Gym. I'm sorry about keeping my interview at the factory a secret. I love you But we hardly have anything in common. For example, our interests culture attitude religion and how to live life. I think we won't make it together. We can't really communicate and understand each other. Communicate my ass! We slept together every night! Umm I don't know. I'm here just to translate. I'm going to continue, ok? I hope you will meet the right person one day. You are right for me. I don't want to listen anymore! Ok. That's fine. If you don't want to listen anymore. Wait. You're the one who taught her English? Yes This is your fault! Damn it! What the hell are you looking at? Is that a bomb? Excuse me, what is that? Chicken soup I think. Chicken soup? Here look, Fuk (winter melon). Fuck! What kind of person are you? Are you talking to me? I'm talking about that guy. What kind of person? Are you talking to me? I'm talking about that guy. A person whose personality like that shouldn't live long. Oh you also mean that guy? I meant you! "Speak English like a native" Oh gosh! Hey what is with you? Don't get any closer. I will poke and blind you. It's not worth it. You like it rough? I'm going to take that interview so I can go get Kaya back. You have to teach me. Ask your daddy to teach you then. Aren't you mixed? Hey! My dad is French. He fled back to his country before I could walk. You can study with some other teacher. No, I can't. You taught Kaya so you have to teach me. You saw your cut-out standee, right? So will you teach me? Sure One on one? Okay. Okay. Here. Your fee. But if you ditch me I won't want my money back but something else in return. Is this even worth it? It's 4 am already and you are not sleeping yet, Boss? You should have joined us for dinner. Because you didn't go, Aey and Chai kept clinking glasses with me. They sent their regards to you too. Look. There are a lot of them. Gosh they wrote on me like I was a notebook. Don't be sad, microdick - Hey, Marcia, how are you doing? - All right. - Can we come in and talk? - Yeah. Hi, puppies! 'Marcia's been a little bit difficult to speak to. 'She, I think, is embarrassed a little bit about her family's past. 'And so, she's hidden a lot of information from us.' So I know growing up, your family didn't have a lot to eat. - Yeah. Were there ever times when you didn't have running water and electricity? - A lot of times. - A lot of times. SHE COUGHS DOG BARKS So, when growing up, the drugs in the house were weed and cocaine, right? Right. That was it. And so, who smoked cocaine? - Sam and I did. - You and Sam? And so, I mean... - Yeah, I know. But it was... - I know. INDISTINCT I know, I know it's like hard to kind of talk to us, but, like, Lauren and I really aren't judging you. 'This is very, very, very private, 'kind of intimate information about' really rough family history stuff. And we're asking as almost a total outsider for as much information as we can about the goriest, dirtiest, the most terrible things that they can remember about their family. And like, is there anything that you can think of, like any sexual abuse, like sort of physical abuse...? - Not really. - No. 'In order for her to say stuff that helps us, ' she has to really kind of throw herself under the bus. You know, she has to say all the bad stuff that she did and, you know, actually nobody wants to do that. And we just, you know, like always, we really appreciate your help. - And if you think of anything... - If I can think of anything. - You call us. - You call us. It is OK. Like, when I say that we're available, we're available. All the time, we're available all the time. To convince Professor Dow, Kelly needs more evidence about Robert's childhood. So she digs deeper into the Pruett family history. In order for our mitigation claims to be successful, we really have to get specific information. So what we really need is more witness statements from family members. Right now, I'm headed to Troy's house. Troy is Robert's cousin. And because Troy was around so much when Robert was younger, he becomes really, really key for unlocking a lot of that information. Come here, Karma. Come here! These are my cousin Michelle's two youngest daughters. - They're so cute. - This is Karma and Kayla. Kayla? My mum's name is Kayla. That's a cool name. Karma is a good name too. It means good things will happen. - Don't listen to her. - Don't listen to me, I'm saying good things! If it wasn't for bad luck, we wouldn't have any. I want a swimming pool. These kids are the next generation, are going to do a lot better. Make sure they have a place to live, something to eat, you know. They don't have to go dumpster-diving for food. OK, you all go play. So you mentioned dumpster-diving. When we lived back in Houston, when me and Robert were younger, me and Robert would go, like, to the dumpsters behind HEB and Wal-Mart, and stuff like that. Do you have any memory at all of Robert being, you know, physically abused? I have tons of memory of Robert being physically abused by his father. So, like, what happened? There's this one instance when Robert was... about as young as one of the little girls that's here, he didn't want to smoke weed and his dad kept, every time he told his dad no, that he won't smoke, his dad would call him a pussy. And finally, one day, Sam had enough of Robert telling him no, he didn't want to smoke, and grabbed him and started beating him and telling him, "Look, you're either going to smoke this or I'm going to beat your butt." And so he started, that's when he started smoking. 'Most of the people when they speak to you, obviously, 'also kind of want to save Robert's life as well.' They're his family, they love him, they don't want to see him executed. And so, you kind of have to guard against their bias and make their statements trustworthy by having just as many statements that kind of agree with each other. If you have ten statements that all say the same thing by different people living in different areas at different times, it becomes just significantly more persuasive. Did you ever see any physical abuse that happened in the family? Did Sam ever hit Robert? Quite often. Sam was very mean. You know, we all lived in fear because of Sam. I was afraid he'd kill me and anybody around me all the time. And he would tell me, "Aunt Chris, the man beat me," and he would come to me and he would be wounded for being hit over and over. Around 12, 11, he was smoking crack and shit and I know cos I smoked it with him. Is there anything that you can think of, like growing up, any sexual abuse? They had a couple of older men that would come around the trailers. And they would come to pick the kids up, "per se". Did you see them specifically take Robert? I know, because Robert would come out and... say, "Don't ask me what they were doing." Part of you is just... so terribly sad to find that another person grew up in that kind of environment and you realise that they had no chance at life because of what happened to them there. And the other part of you is happy because it just, it's more evidence to make a stronger claim, which is more persuasive to a court, and it's something that can be used to save their life. So even though they had this terrible, terrible upbringing, it could be turned around and used to benefit them, which is, ultimately, all that we're trying to do. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this meal we're about to eat. Bless it that it might nourish our bodies. Amen. You know what I heard? You know on the news, how it came out a couple of years ago that they cancelled the last meals for death-row inmates. - What? - The special meals...? - Yeah, the last meals that they get, you know, which I... which I always thought was kind of sad. - Would you have any appetite? - You know how I feel, Kelly. If somebody has been convicted, why should they be given any special privileges? It's not about being given privileges so much as not treating them like animals. Well, what about the victim? You're right. Families and children's lives have been destroyed just summarily and then suddenly, we fall all over ourselves worrying about the guy that did it. And what special privileges he should receive? But the case we've been working on a lot, at the clinic, - is this guy named Robert Pruett. - Uh-huh. He had like a truly terrible childhood growing up. You know, sexual abuse and physical abuse and poverty, like "dumpster-diving to get food" poor. On top of that, we uncovered like this back story where his dad, when his dad came out of prison, when Robert was like maybe seven, eight years old, they started giving him drugs. Why does that give them a pass? Lots of people grow up just like that that aren't murderers. I mean, are we saying if you were raised in a good home and good standards and good education, and you murder somebody, that somehow you are more guilty? If you grow up in an environment where your dad's first reaction is to stab somebody, it's got to... That's fine, but I don't see why that's an excuse. You've destroyed somebody else's life and families. And then to suddenly stand there and think, "Oh, I should be given some kind of consideration because I... "you know, had to eat out of a dumpster," I don't, I'm sorry, I just don't believe that. Before the team can finish their investigation, they have one final, difficult problem. How to explain why Pruett was in prison in the first place, without undermining their case. We're going on a journey through Robert's life, from the beginning to the end. In a lot of ways, this is where that journey ends because this is the last place that Robert ever was as a free person. 'A man has been stabbed to death in a fight at a trailer park.' 'Three men attacked resident Ray Yarborough after an argument.' 'Ray Yarbrough was stabbed multiple times and died from his injuries.' Robert first got put in prison because he was convicted under the law of parties for murdering his neighbour Ray Yarborough. And what the law of parties is, it's kind of a law in Texas, that, if you're part of a group of people that are committing a crime, even if you don't actually commit the crime yourself, then you're just as guilty as the people that did commit it. Ray Yarborough lived in a trailer next to the Pruetts. On the day of his death, Robert had a fierce argument with him and threatened to kill him. Later that night, they ended up fighting. I was asleep on my mother's couch in the trailer. Robert comes to wake me up. He says, "Hey, Ray's home, Ray's home." Well, I'm in bed asleep. This is about 10 o'clock at night. My oldest son came in and woke me up, said, "Robert's outside" "with Ray," which was our neighbour. Robert was only 15 at that time. So when I got up, I go outside to check this dude. And my dad was struggling then. Time I get over there, I've pulled him up off my dad and me and Ray started going at it. He gets up on top of me. My dad, he's coming round the trailer and everything to pull him up off of me. But as he pulls him up off of me, stabbing him. I don't know where the knife came from, you know. But my dad had a knife. It was a steak knife that was laying on the counter. When I come out of the house, I picked it up and stuck it in my back pocket. For self-defence! Ray Yarborough died from multiple stab wounds. Sam Pruett was sentenced to life in prison for the killing. Steven Pruett got 40 years. Robert had turned 16 by the time the case came to trial. He was sentenced as an adult and given 99 years. When somebody's already in prison for murder, it kind of makes your mitigation investigation a bit more difficult, cos you have to counter that. And it makes it easier for the state to prove their case. You know, they think, "He's killed someone before", "then he definitely deserves the death penalty now." So it just makes it harder at every stage. All of the mitigation evidence has been sent to Professor Dow. It's time for his verdict. I would say that the evidence in Pruett's case was some of the most compelling, strongest evidence that I've seen in more than 20 years of doing this. Even when you think, this was for all intents and purposes a kid who was sentenced to life in prison for a murder that he didn't even commit himself, that he was present for, that was committed by his abusive father. And in this case, if the jury had heard this evidence, Pruett would unquestionably have been sentenced to life in prison, rather than a death sentence. We're going to bundle it all up and we're going to write it into a legal claim and we're going to go file it in federal court. - See you later. - Definitely. BAGPIPES PLAY AMAZING GRACE Today, we remember the brave men and women, our co-workers, who have given their very lives in the service of the people of our state and our country. Daniel wasn't just a corrections officer. He was my little brother. He was my baby. He was giving and kind and he was always there for his kids. You never saw him without at least one of them. He cared for everybody around him. Their lives had a purpose. They left a mark and their memory will live on. That morning, when he got up and got ready, I'd just had Rebecca, so I was in the bed round about the time he was getting ready to walk out the door. And he went to go check on Rebecca, because she was starting to wake up, she was fussing, and he brought her to me and gave us both a kiss and said he would see us later. Told us he loved us. And that was the last time. When my father passed away, I was roughly two-and-a-half months old, so I don't really remember much. The first memory I have involving him, I do remember being at his funeral. I think he looks a lot like Daniel. Daniel Nagle's children have been raised by their grandparents. Michael and Rebecca has had a very hard life. They first lose their dad and then, their mother gets... on drugs. She... is indisposed of right now, she's in jail. And if this had not happened to Daniel, Crystal wouldn't be in jail. I hold Robert Pruett responsible for everything that's happened, for the road that my life went down, the kids not having their daddy. I hold Robert Pruett very responsible. I don't know how responsible he holds himself and that's what's sad. He carved out his own path. It was his decision. If he found a way to weasel his self out the legal system, and... out of the death penalty that would not be right because if you take a life, you more or less just dug your own grave. I don't think I deserve to die for something I didn't do. The evidence against me in this case was inmate testimony. Everybody... These inmates... There was like five inmates and each one of them had a different story. There was absolutely no physical evidence connecting me to this crime at all. You know? From what I've read about the crime scene, it was a messy crime scene, like, there was a murder weapon, there was evidence everywhere, a stabbed victim... But no physical link between me and this crime whatsoever. People frequently ask me whether I believe that my clients who claim innocence are innocent. And I'm going to tell you about Mr Pruett, what I tell them about almost all of my clients, which is I don't know. I wasn't there. What I know is, the guard was stabbed to death and Pruett didn't have any of the guard's blood on his clothes, he didn't have any of the guard's blood on his body, he didn't have any of the guard's blood in his hair. If I had been a juror in Pruett's case, there was no possible way that I could ever have voted to convict him on the basis of this evidence. Evidence shows that 3-5% of all people in prison did not commit the crime for which they were convicted. There are documented cases where inmates have been sentenced to death and then evidence has proven that they did not commit the crime. The team are working on another appeal for Robert Pruett, DNA testing, which they hope could cast doubt on his conviction. You end up with eight. Two pieces. Right? Robert Pruett claims he didn't kill Officer Nagle and never touched the disciplinary report found at the crime scene. The team want it re-tested for DNA. In the ten years since Robert's trial, science has evolved tremendously, so all kinds of testing is available that wasn't previously available. And now I'm touching the back of this, the front of this, so now I've touched four. Whoever tore up the report should have left traces of their DNA on the paper. Up-to-date tests might detect it. The state is trying to make a case that Robert murdered. Officer Nagle because of the disciplinary report. They found that motive because the report was torn over Nagle's body. So if we have this report tested and there's somebody else's DNA on it, then it shows either at a minimum that somebody else was there, but if nothing else, it definitely refutes the proof and it makes it look a lot more like Robert was innocent. If we do testing on the report and find DNA that didn't belong to either Pruett or Nagle, and then to match it to somebody who we can make a plausible argument was responsible, then it destroys the state's theory that somehow the scattered remains of the report are what demonstrate Pruett did it. So it's 7am and we're in the car, headed to Beeville, so that we can file an appeal Robert's behalf. At this stage in litigation, every second counts and so we have to make the three-hour drive at seven in the morning so we can get there by ten, so the judge has all day to at least look at the motion and hopefully rule on it by the end of the day Friday. Right now, Robert only has a few days left to live and if we can prolong his life by even 60 more days, or a year, then we've done our job. I want to file this motion. Robert Pruett's crisis appeals are now complete. But before every execution, there is one final roll of the dice. It's called clemency. The state governor has the power to reduce any death sentence to life without parole. But he's only done it once in 13 years. So Kelly tries to find anyone she can to help plead for Robert's life. "Dear sir, Mr Pruett's execution date has been set for May 21st 2013." "I feel very strongly that he should have his sentence commuted to" "life in prison without the possibility of parole." When we're in kind of crisis stage of cases, things happen kind of suddenly, and you can never quite predict where help will come from. "I know that lots of people would think "that I would support this execution, because of what he did to my brother. "But that is not how I feel". When Kelly called me and asked me to write a letter about Robert Pruett, I was so angry. I wanted retribution, I really did. I wanted to go down there and strangle him myself, that he could have done this. You know, what was he thinking? And then I realised, "This boy has family." "And you want to murder him," "and you want me to be happy that you're murdering him" "and making a hole in their family like the hole that's in ours." Robert Pruett might not actually deserve our help, but I still believe that he is a person and I know that he's done some pretty bad things, but I just don't think it's fair. I mean, two wrongs don't make a right. "This man destroyed a family, "but sentencing him to death destroys another family, his own. "I cannot help but think about this man's mother. "I know from experience the hurt that will fill her eyes "and the sorrow that will become her expression". "Please do not kill Mr Pruett, "even though he is guilty of the crime of murder. - "Sincerely, Della Nagle." - "Sincerely, Juliana." In any crisis case, it always reaches that point where you've done everything you can. You've played all your cards, and you just have to cross your fingers and hope. And that's always kind of a terrible feeling. If I'm able to be there at the execution, I would like to be present. It'll bring closure. They have convicted him of the murder of my father. I say that he deserves his punishment because of his actions. I've spoken to many guys who have made the trip from Polunsky Unit to the Walls Unit to be executed, and that have come within minutes of being executed. So I pretty much know the whole process. They will take everything from you. All you take is just some state clothes, and that's it. I heard they even take your glasses from you. It's, like, a 40-minute drive from Livingston to Huntsville. And you'll be looking at the forest, you know, the water. But if they take my glasses, I'm going to have a hard time seeing, because I don't see at a distance. 'I feel like I know him at this point. 'If we lost and he was executed, it would hurt.' 'The worst thing that we can do is exaggerate 'the likelihood that we are going to succeed.' I believe that giving false hope to people is cruel. When you get to the Walls Unit, they've got all these big guards who tell you, "We're going to take the cuffs off." "If there's any problems, we'll give you problems." "If you stay calm, we'll treat you like a human." "We're going to treat you decently." The implication is ".. Till we kill you like a dog." When you get to the gurney and your final moments, the warden gives you an opportunity to speak. And then you can just give some kind of signal that you're ready, and then they kill you. We found out today we have a 60-day reprieve. No, this is really good news. It's really good news. I thought this might be good news. She said, "I can't tell you on the phone." I was like, "Come on, 8.30! It's after 8.30, where is she?" Oh, man, my head is going round and round. Phew. Everyone was e-mailing and everyone was so excited. We're all going to go up on Monday and tell Robert. We think he might already know, but he might not, so we'll at least be able to break the news to him ourselves on Monday. - That'll make him feel better too. - Yeah. Oh, I can sleep better. Finally! Wow. That is so awesome. That was the best feeling in the world. It was... I don't know, I don't think there's a word for how good it felt to deliver that news. You know, in this line of work, even the small relationship I've had with it, it's just all bad all the time, like fighting with courts and prosecutors and fighting to get information you need and to get results. And it's just such an amazing feeling to finally have some good news to tell somebody for once. The moment that I heard that I got a stay, I was like, "I've got a stay!" And I went to the door and I let everybody know, "I got a stay!" Robert's stay of execution is to allow for further DNA testing in the case. The Nagle family has been told this process could take up to a year. When she told me that he wasn't going to be executed, first I was like... And then I was like, "So now we have to think about it longer." I'm glad that he's not being executed so soon. They're still giving him a chance. But I don't know how they're going to try to make him innocent. I mean, it was pretty straightforward evidence in the first place. I always knew that the right guy was in jail. I always knew it was the right person. And now they tell me that it might not be the right person. And my question is, "Why are you telling me this now?" Robert Pruett has to live with his conscience. When he sleeps at night, I hope he has nightmares. I'm sure he does. He's still rotting. I mean... Is there anything I can do? No. Can I just keep on living my life? Yes. I think that doing the work requires a certain emotional resilience that is common to death penalty lawyers, at least common to death penalty lawyers in Texas. For every reprieve that you get, you have nine clients who are executed, or something like that. And so, if you're going to stay in this line of work, as a matter of survival, you really narrow your emotional range. You know, you don't go out celebrating when you get a stay, because the flip side of going out celebrating when you get a stay is that you jump off a building every time you don't. If every time you lose a client, you can't get out of bed for a week or a month, you just really need to find something else to do. Hi. Is this Jennifer Garza? My name's Kelly Hickman. Kelly's last crisis case is defending gang member Robert Garza. 'Four women have been shot dead tonight 'in what police are calling a gang-related killing.' 'Garza was a member of the Tri-City Bomber street gang.' 'Tri-City Bombers are one of the most violent gangs.' 'Members of the Tri-City Bombers ambushed...' '..shot multiple times when driving home from work.' ...casings were fired into that vehicle. It was a horrible crime scene. I wasn't there. I didn't kill nobody. 'The jury decided he was involved. They sentenced him to death.' 'Justice is scheduled to come to Robert Garza 'in the form of a lethal injection on September 19th'. The team are trying to mount a mitigation appeal for Garza, but with execution just days away, they receive some bad news. We were denied yesterday afternoon, and we were denied in the worst possible way. They basically just sent me a letter, simply informing the trial judge that they are not going to rehear the case. That happened yesterday at about four o'clock or so. I think the likelihood of identifying another claim is so close to zero that I don't want to be keeping his hopes alive. And if, miraculously, we discover a claim, we'll file it without even telling anybody, so as far as they're concerned, nothing is pending and they won't get their hopes up. If you need anybody to talk to, of course, you got me, you got Dow, you got Cassandra. We're all there. This is how most of our cases end, I'm afraid to say. - It's all ruined. - Yeah. The crisis cases, anyway. The team advise Robert Garza's family to prepare for the worst. They travel to the small town in Texas where all executions take place. Huntsville. It was a very difficult visit today with Robert, because you want to be able to show your love to him, and there's not enough time. There's not enough time in sharing what your feelings are for him. Very smiley, saying bye. Like any other visit. We just hope. We pray that things do change between today and tomorrow. Six o'clock. 'Robert "Bones" Garza will be executed tonight. 'The Tri-City Bomber was convicted for his role 'in the killings of four women back in 2002. 'He was also linked...' Execution days are kind of rough. The atmosphere in the clinic gets really tense, because everyone's kind of waiting to see what will happen and just not really sure how the day's going to play out. Hoping for the best, expecting the worst and just bracing themselves for that. Everyone kind of retreats into themselves to handle whatever needs to be handled appropriately. 'In one hour, Texas prison officials will have the green light' to execute one of Texas' most notorious gang members. The execution of Robert Garza is scheduled for some time after six tonight in Huntsville. Kirk Chaisson joins us with the latest on the story. Garza has filed a barrage of last-minute appeals over the last couple of days. They've all been rejected at the state level, but each appeal automatically gets kicked up to the US Supreme Court. If the Supreme Court decides they want to stay out of it, Garza's execution today moves forward. Members of the Garza family join campaigners outside the death house as they wait for the Supreme Court's final ruling. Prison officials tell us the death warrant for Robert Garza becomes valid at 6pm. 'His execution could come any time after that.' As the deadline approaches, Kelly gets a call from Robert Garza's wife. Hey, what news do you have? I can go and find Jeff. INAUDIBLE REPLY You want me to put you on the phone with him? OK, so tell me. What's going on? 'Hold on, I'll call you right back, OK? ' OK, bye. It's Jennifer. She says they have really good news for Garza. I don't know what's going on. It's a totally frustrating feeling, knowing that time is passing, knowing that the execution is impending, and to get a phone call from Bobby's wife, who doesn't want to talk to me and is trying to talk to other people and won't tell me what's going on or why it's going on, I just want to know what's happening because I want to help, and I can't help. 'There's a lot of interest in Bobby's execution 'all over the state.' Reports are coming in of a hold-up at the Supreme Court. 'I can give you the good news 'that things are pending before the Supreme Court...' If the Supreme Court decides they want to weigh in and consider one of these appeals, there could be a last-minute stay, a delay in Garza's execution today. It's kind of crazy that the Supreme Court hasn't ruled yet, though. You could say that it means they're actually looking at it. But for all we know, they're just, you know, dragging out time and then it will just be harder for him and his family. Did somebody walk across the street? We'll know what's going to happen when we see the people walk from this building into that building. They go up the stairs there. All right, bye. It's gone through. TEXT ALERT Jeff just says there's nothing. Apparently, there was a big stir going on at the Governor's office, and it didn't amount to anything. So... it's done. WOMEN SOB That's my mom! Oh, my God. It's from Ray. "As I post this, Robert Garza is being executed." I'm here outside the Walls Unit in downtown Huntsville, where at 8.41pm tonight, Robert Garza was pronounced dead after having received a lethal injection. Approximately ten minutes goes by in stunned silence inside that room while I and the other members of the media are just feet away from the members of Garza's family, who are racked with emotion and anguish as they watch him slip away. Again, at 8.41pm tonight, Robert Garza was pronounced dead by lethal injection. In Huntsville, Kirk Chaisson, Channel 5 News at 10. All right? You would think that with time, it would get easier to deal with it, or at least you'd learn to deal with it, but it actually gets worse. I think it does get worse. Joy, relief, a little bit of apprehension about what comes next. Be proud of your hard work, your sacrifices. Be proud of the decision you made to go to law school. ♪ O say can you see ♪ By the dawn's early light ♪ What so proudly we hailed ♪ At the twilight's... ♪ .. Still there ♪ O say ♪ Does that star-spangled ♪ Banner yet wave ♪ O'er the land of the free ♪ And the home of the brave? ♪ __ Open 20. Mr. Stinkmeaner, do you understand what I've just told you? I'm a clone! Yes, created at this secret and highly illegal underground human cloning facility. Why am I so old? ! Eh, what? If you cloned me when you say you did, shouldn't I still be a little kid? ! The man who you are a clone of is Colonel H. Stinkmeaner. He answered our volunteer recruitment ad on Blackpeoplemeet. A few days later, he died in a street fight. Fuck him! He dead! I'm alive! Motherfucker! He left you those clothes, that cane, and the glasses. He asked that if the cloning was successful, we relay this message. "Dear me, please go fuck with Robert J. Freeman. Warm regards, nigga. O.G. Stinkmeaner." By the way, you're not exactly the same as the original. There were some enhancements. Hey, kids, welcome to the nigga moment reboot! This is where we're gonna do some shit we already did and just pretend you didn't see that shit the first time! That's right, nigga! We don't respect your intelligence! Hey, and welcome to "Cooking with Stink!" We're whipping up a nigga moment today, and here's what you'll need to make one at home! First, you'll need two black men, age 5 to 122. You can find these pretty much everywhere! I've got two right here! Then add one minor incident. Could be an errant look, incidental contact. I prefer the classic shoe step myself. After that you just need 25 years of The movie "Scarf ace," which teaches irrational thinking. Don't forget to stir in the crack! And mwah! Voil? Delicioso! The best thing about nigga moments is, they never stop! Every day for niggas is like "groundhog day"! Yeah, nigga! I hit your car just 'cause I wanted to! I didn't even want to park in that space! I just wanted to fuck your car up and then wait here to tell you I did it! - What you gonna do? ! - No! - Two old dudes about to fight! - It can't be! - Stinkmeaner? ! - Close, nigga! It's the clone of Stinkmeaner, nigga, and I've been waiting here to tell you, you's a bitch-ass, faggot-ass, punk-ass, pussy-ass, bitch-ass nigga! You know what? I'm sick of this shit. You came back to life again? Fine, I'll kill your punk ass one more time! Well, let's go, nigga! Come see what this blind, old man got for your ass! Ohh! Unh! Oh, yeah! You wasn't expecting all that was you, nigga? ! It's a black nigga samurai! Ha! Agh! Agh! Yeah! What's wrong with y'all? ! Somebody help me! The police! Thank God for the police! The good news for you is, he's not pressing any charges. He's not pressing charges? ! He attacked me! I want to press charges! There were at least 53 recordings of the incident, Mr. Freeman. In all of them, you attack him first. But I had to! He's a psychopath! - I killed him, and... - Go on. I mean, not him, but it's hard to explain. That man is going to attack me again! I don't mean to offend you or make you uncomfortable, but, oh, - do you know what a nigga moment is? - Of course. Thank God for them, or I wouldn't have a job. But an n-word moment, as you put it, does not excuse you from obeying the law. So if this is an n-word moment, Mr. Freeman, my advice is, do not be an n-word. Oh, hi, guys. What are you doing up? I, uh, got into a little fender bender. I'm okay... just a little, uh... Granddad, you got your ass beat again! I mean, anybody can lose once or twice, but granddad stay losing! What? ! You know what happened? ! Do we know what happened? ! Everybody knows what happened! I caught the last half of it on the live stream! Oh, no! Why me? ! Why? ! I don't understand. How does he keep coming back? He said he was a clone. A clone? ! I know! When did they start cloning people? ! I watch the news! Brian Williams never said nothing about no human cloning! Man, one of your fights got a total of seven million views so far! Ooh, we should start a business of just letting you get your ass beat, granddad. I mean, niggas get beat up all the time, but people really get off seeing you get your ass beat! Robert Freeman, you're the only person I know can get his ass whupped by a nigga he already killed a dozen times before! I mean, by nature, niggas lose. They losers. They natural-born losers, but you like some kind of heptathlete of losing. Not now, Ruckus! Not now! Well, I'd actually lower my voice, seeing as how you just got your ass whupped! Completely embarrassing! Oh, I can't see how a man could achieve a quality erection after getting beaten that bad. Then there's only one thing I can do. I have to train. I have to become a master warrior so I can defeat my enemy in a rematch, preferably on video so I can post it online and salvage my dignity! Ooh, that sounds like an awesome plan that can't go wrong, granddad! Millions of people would tune in just to see you die! Granddad, isn't that exactly what we did the first time this happened? Yeah. And you ended up killing him. Yeah. See? The plan worked. I did it once. I can do it again because I believe in myself. - No, granddad, my point is... - Less talk, more training! Let's go! The more you fight, the more he fights. It's your ego, granddad. You're the problem. I'm rising to the challenge, redeeming my honor! That's a nice way to say you want payback. What's the opposite of a nigga? - I don't know. - Think about it. - Mr. Rogers? - Perfect. Can you imagine Mr. Rogers in a nigga moment? Of course not! So to end a nigga moment, you have to be Mr. Rogers, and what would Mr. Rogers do? He would follow normal white-people rules. So if Stinkmeaner confronted Mr. Rogers in a parking lot... Oh, yeah, he wouldn't fight. He would walk away and call the police. And if he keeps coming back? File a complaint, get a restraining order. Eventually, they would put Stinkmeaner in jail. But then he has to snitch, and then I got to live with that shame! Yes, dumb idea, Huey. Stinkmeaner get away with beating me in front of everyone! I never get redemption! But it ends. You're saying that I should just let him get away with beating me in front of the whole world? ! If you want this to finally end, yes. No, I can't do that. I got pride. I'm strong. No woman wants a man who files a restraining order in the face of danger. I want an erection! How many times in life do you get a second chance, granddad? A chance to fix your biggest mistake? Fine! I'll find someone else to make me a master swordsman. Riley, look up "master swordsman." Private lessons. You know I don't like a lot of people around me when I'm sweating, oh, and not too expensive. Uh, we're broke. Oh, somebody's calling me on Skype! Nobody ever calls me on Skype! What's good, nigga? ! Bet you weren't expecting this face! I'm surprised you can still see after what I did to ya, you bitch-ass, faggot ass, bitch-ass faggot! Damn it, how'd you figure out how to call me on Skype? ! I don't even know how to use this shit. Hey, nigga, I just wanted to let you know that if you not too much of a pussy-ass nigga, you can meet me tomorrow in the parking lot for a rematch! Oh, and I put the word out to the whole world, so if you don't show, well, you know what that means. You's a bitch-ass nigga! Bitch-ass. You's a bitch-ass nigga! Yeah, rock with me, Robert! Come on! Something's wrong. That cave... I feel cold. That place... it is strong with the dark side. Mm, a domain of evil, it is. In you must go. What's in there? Only what you take with you. Your weapons... you will not need them. Yeah, whatever. What's good, Robert? ! What's really good? ! Aah! That's right, Robert! I'm you! Aah! I can't believe you going out like this, granddad. Nigga, hush! Uh, yes, I-I just want to make sure that the sergeant know it's Robert Freeman. I'm at the mall, and I'm gonna be attacked by this crazy nigga at any time. Okay? So they're on their way? Okay, just making sure. Granddad, you do this, you really gonna be a bitch-ass nigga. I mean, I shouldn't be surprised 'cause if I Google "bitch nigga," I'll find you, but damn! Ow! I'm afraid to show my face! Hey, look who's coming. Go home, old man! You're a loser! - [Cheers and applause - Well, well, well! You ready for one more ass-whupping? ! You're going down! I will not fight you, Stinkmeaner. Say what, nigga? ! You not gonna fight? ! Then why'd you come? ! Nigga, you could've told me you's a bitch over the phone! I came because I'm not afraid of you! But I'm tired of acting like a nigga! I'm an old man. I'm dignified. I watch PBS. All y'all should be ashamed! This has gone too far! Now, I've already called the police, so everyone should just go home! Come on, fight, old man! Fight! Aw, hey! Ruined everything! This ain't over, Robert! We got your back, Stinkmeaner! - It worked. - It worked. Hey! Ed Wuncler, my favorite billionaire! What can I do for you? Well, I heard about your little incident, and I wanted to see if you were okay. Oh, I'm fine. That's good because I brought a friend over. What's good, nigga? ! You thought you got rid of me? ! ♪ Still here. And you's still a bitch ♪ I love this guy... so entertaining! But he's supposed to be in jail! I know, yes. I took it upon myself to bail him out, as well as bribe the district attorney to drop the case. You really should stop snitching, Robert. What happened to this country when two grown men can't settle their differences in a bloody street fight? I thought maybe we could come in and have a chat. No, absolutely not! That monster is not stepping one foot in my house! Well, technically speaking, it's my house, remember? The one that's underwater, the one you and your children live in out of the little warmth in my cold, hard heart! What the fuck kind of lemonade is this bullshit? So, as you know, we're still not where we need to be with this house. You owe me a lot of money, and I started thinking this hilarious thing you guys do together could be the answer! This man is a psychopathic stalker, and we don't do anything funny together! The people feel differently, Robert... 40 million views. The fights are a hit! It would be good business to do one more. No, absolutely not! Out of the question! Just one more. Everything will be legal. If one of you accidently gets killed, no problem. We can do pay per view, a little mini doc to go with it, maybe even go to different cities. Think of it like the WWE. Except it'll really be me kicking yo bitch ass every night, you punk-ass faggot-ass bitch! What you guys do together is like watching the Harlem Globetrotters beat the Washington Generals, except it's an old, black man kicking another old, black man's ass! I don't want to do this! Why do I have to keep fighting this man? I killed him already! Granddad, you got to take all that anger you've been feeling and hold onto it real tight! Focus on it, and so on fight night in two weeks, that's how you're gonna find the strength to beat this nigga in front of the whole world! Yeah. He made you look like a punk in front of everybody! Now he living it up, getting money. He's on TV. I seen him on TMZ. Got some bad bitches, too... Bad ones. We'd like to thank tonight's sponsors... chicken and sugar water! Man, is that that new Stinkmeaner sketch comedy show on TBS? That nigga's everywhere! Take that rage, put it in your fists, granddad. Riley, you notice anything different about granddad? Hell yeah! I'm noticing a lot different about granddad! He ain't never gonna get his ass beat again, and it's all because of me! I told him to take all that hate, hold onto it! Stupid politicians are stupid. Everybody's fucking stupid, God damn it. What... what... what is this shit here? What is this... a fucking cooking show? He keeps bumping into things. When he's not working out, this is all he does. Fuck, it's all a bunch of bullshit anyway. Oh, they're a bunch of fucking liars. The president is a liar. I think there may be a problem. Only problem is you motherfucker think I can't hear you! Hi, Mr. Freeman. Unh! Hey! Damn it, watch where you're going, bitch! What the fuck is wrong with you? ! Shit I ought to whup your big ass! Now get the fuck out of my way! - Slow down, granddad! - Granddad, watch out for that curb! Ow! I can't find my seat belt! Whoa, hey, granddad, I think we should talk about your eyesight and whether it's safe to drive. I've been driving my whole life! I don't need to know how to see to drive! Shut up! Now, what the fuck is this? ! I hate when people do that. I hate it! I hate it! I fucking Hate it! That was supposed to be our space! You know what? You know what? ! Fuck That! That's our space, God damn it! Granddad, what are you doing? ! Stop the car! I don't want to die! There! Now stick that up your ass! My car! You hit my car! Your fault for parking like a fucking asshole! Granddad, wait! Let's get out. Oh! Man! We can't get out! Yes, I said it! Hey, little girl. Your daddy parked like a fucking asshole. Now, won't you be my neighbor motherfucker. He's trying to start a nigga moment! I'm from a town called Whup Mr... Aah! Run! We're sorry! We'll pay for the damage! Just run! We will not! You little niggas, get off of me! Come on, honey, let's walk the other way and call the police. - Stay down! Stay down, please! - Get off me! Please stay down! I'm kicking that motherfucker's ass tomorrow! What do you think... Too much hate maybe? Yeah, Stinkmeaner! Stinkmeaner! Stinkmeaner! Stinkmeaner! - Kill them! Yeah! - We love you! We love you! Oh, fight! You ready for this, you bitch-ass... aah! Oh, I see now! Did you take some karate classes? Whoa! Ohh! Aah! Goddamn, nigga, that shit hurt! Aah! You... you missed me, nigga! Agh! We have to stop it! No, we don't. Agh! Shit! Fuck, fuck, agh! Ohh! Agh! Agh! Agh! What kind of fuck are you... agh! Uh, all right, Robert. Hey, stop this! Granddad, stop! Listen to me! We don't have to make the same mistakes! We can learn! We're not niggas, granddad! If I let you live, you are going to leave me alone, and if I see you again, I'm gonna... I'm gonna call the police and file for a restraining order! But what about the fight tour? ! Yeah, you know, this didn't really go as expected. When you were the one getting beaten, Robert, it was fun! Deal's off! Will you please go fuck with somebody else? ! Sure, Robert. All you had to was ask. I don't even know you. I'm just the clone. That's it. I think it's finally over. Let's go home. Hey, hey! One of you niggas call me an ambulance! Hey, Robert! What y'all eating, Robert? ! How come you never invite ya boy Stinkmeaner over for dinner, Robert? ! That's fucked up, you selfish-ass, hungry-ass nigga! Yo, so, you mean, like, Stinkmeaner just gonna be around from, like, now on? Are you ignoring me? ! This is what I get for doing the right thing? ! Robert! You got to be kidding me! Come on out here, nigga! Nigga, what's wrong with you? ! Stop all that yelling, and get off my yard! I'm not on your yard, Robert! Look, I'm on the sidewalk, nigga! I'm on public property, nigga! That's fucked up! You can't just tell me what you're eating for dinner! Stop coming around here! Knew I should've killed your ass again. Come on, Robert! I'm a nigga clone! Annoying you is all I know how to do! ♪ Stinkmeaner forever, Stinkmeaner forever, stink ♪ ♪ Meaner, Stinkmeaner ♪ ♪ Stinkmeaner foreve, forever, nigga, yea ♪ ♪ Stinkmeaner forever ♪ ♪ Stink, stink, stink, stink, stink ♪ ♪ S-T-I-N-K-meaner ♪ ♪ Stinkmeaner forever, Stinkmeaner ♪ ♪ Stinkmeaner, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Stinkmeaner forever, unh, unh, unh ♪ ♪ Hey, hey, hey, yeah ♪ Ugh. Oh, I do not want this vacation to end. Promise me when we get home, we'll only speak French to each other. Oh, ce sera comme nous sommes sur notre propre île privée au paradis. I was kind of hoping for English with a fake French accent. But of course. I had such a good time. Mm. And you are really sexy. You put the "moan" in Mona Lisa. - Me? - Mm-hmm. You put the "oomph" in arc de triomphe. Ooh. You put your hands in my pants at the Louvre. I know that that's not what we're doing right now, but it was fun. Yeah. It was all fun. Yeah, it was. And you know what the best part was? What? No Mansfield. I mean, you blew off opening a new office in Hong Kong to go to Paris with me, and your boss didn't even call or e-mail or text. He fired me. Take a look! Take a look! 300 workers illegally held 300 workers illegally held Take a look! Let them go! Stand back Whoever can bring me the head of Fei Will be my sole adopted son! Where're they! Tell me! Tell me! Go! Wait Where're they? I let them go You idiot! What are you talking about? You're wrong! I'm a martial arts practitioner! Get him! Master, the foreigners at the leprosarium have withdrawn suddenly Hurry! Ask our men at the leprosarium to withdraw too I want to save and set them free as well! Someone set us free! We want revenge! Fight the Black Tiger Gang! Fight the Black Tiger Gang to death! Fight the Black Tiger Gang to death! Fight the Black Tiger Gang to death... Fight the Black Tiger Gang to death! We have no fear for injury or death We won't back off today We want to get even with you We won't back off! We won't back off! Quiet please! Master Lei We have 500 men here If we all fight, it will be a bloodshed Why don't... you and I have a duel? I will challenge you with my life! You betray me for the sake of these workers Have they been treating you well? I know I owe you righteousness I can only repay in my next life But you owe them justice! You have to repay it today! Bullshit! Let them all understand crystal clear Who is... the master here! Kill him! Kill him! Kill him! People! Kill him! Kill him! Kill him! If I die, none of you should take any action on my behalf Think about your families They are waiting for you at home Fei Can you win? If both sides get into a fight, there will be a lot of casualties It's better I die Than to have the whole place drowned in blood Promise me If I fall, you have to make them go home Let him in Close the door! You want to burn me to death? Die together? Not entirely I want to burn this place down and revitalize this pier How naive! Go ahead I'll show you what's true darkness Hurry! Hurry! Over here! Over here! Give me the bucket! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Pass it over! Hurry! Hurry! Pass it over! Quick! Put out the fire! Hurry! Hurry! Over here! Over here! Over here! Quick! Over there! Getting hot? I'm alright You set the fire! Come on! Run! Run! The warehouse is gone. They can't get out now Let's retreat! Run! Hot? Hot! I don't need you to save me You don't deserve it Don't pretend you care Do you think by killing me this world will be a better place? You're too naive! Lei You think it's that easy to be a hero? There'll always be another villain on the lurk You will soon be like me Because that's your destiny Father I'd like to borrow your umbrella Previously on "Black Box"... Okay. Not that I'm obsessed with him. Oh, my God! It's a closed-circuit infrared 400,000-CCD-pixel resolution. I have known Reynaud since I interned under him. He had an undiagnosed brain tumor. I want your advice. Yes, you have the surgery. - You remove as much of the... - What if I don't want to live? No, buy as much time as you can, and then you spend it with your son. You repair what is broken between you. Peter? Dad? Daddy? Ralphie's dead. Ohh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, bubele. Shall we say kaddish for him, huh? What's a "cad dish"? Kaddish is a sacred prayer for the dead that will send Ralphie to a blessed life in Olam Ha-Ba where Hashem will welcome him. Please don't talk gibberish to our son, Jacob. Sweetie, ralphie died 'cause fish don't live as long as people do. We'll get you another one, okay? - Tie your shoes. - I want... I want Ralphie. Well, we'll get you a better one. What is your problem? All he needed was a hug. You're late for the partner's meeting. Your shoes are polished, Mr. Myers. I ironed your blue sea island cotton shirt. Cufflink choices are here. Thank you, Rosalinda. Yesterday, I noticed you didn't eat your strawberries... I-I don't really like them. So, today, I put in bananas and peanut butter, okay? You got to promise to eat it. Daddy? Mr. Myers? Bezeh hammaqom tehi b'rakhah v'shalom. That means, "may this home be filled with the blessing of joy and peace." Rosalinda... For your kindness and hard work over so many years... The penthouse is yours. Mommy! Daddy just gave away our house! Oh, really? Did he? Who'd he give it to? Shalom. So, I got assigned Rautavaara's "Piano Sonata No. 2"... - You know, "The Fire Sermon"? - Yeah, it's wonderful. Sounds like a piece of cake for you. Are you kidding me? - It's the hardest in the canon. - We'll get together later. Who's that? That's Miles. He's a junior. He studies guitar and composition, and he deejays in Chinatown on the weekends. He's cute. Yeah, he's okay. Oh, my God. He's looking over here. What's wrong with him looking at you? I don't want him to see me in this. This outfit is stupid. You'll freeze to death. Here. No. Easy. We'll swap. Oh, my God! This is Helmut Lang. - Are you sure? - Uh-huh. Thank you. Yeah. Dripping with edge. - You know you're never gonna get it back, right? - Fine. I'm gonna rock this forever 16 jacket forever. You know you're cooler than any guy, right? Let him know that. - I love you. - I love you. Bye. Yeah, now would be good. Thanks. So, Tracy, how long has this been going on? Three weeks, and it's getting worse every day. All he talks about is God, God, God. This morning, he gave away our house and $12 million. Gone. Oh, you remember that? That's the shelter you helped fund in Port-au-Prince after the earthquake. You know, they're still housing 30 homeless people a day thanks to your generosity. Adonai machasi u'metzudati. Come on, man. You know I don't speak Hebrew. "The lord is my refuge and my fortress"... Psalm 91. Well, I doubt all those homeless kids feel the same way, Jacob. "He that dwelleth in the shelter of the most high will rest in the shadow of the almighty." - Hey, what's up? - Oh, hey, come in. This is Dr. Black. Tracy and Jacob Myers. They're very good friends. - Hello. Lovely to meet you. - Hello. Dr. Black is our star brainiac here at the Cube. Oh. "May the source of strength who blessed the ones before us help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing." So, Jacob's experienced a sudden spiritual conversion. He's bonkers. We've always been bad Jews. I can count on one hand the times we've gone to temple. All of a sudden... I'm enlightened. Beautiful office. I think we need a full neurological work-up. I'm happy to help. Would you like to come to my office? You can tell me all about it. - Thank you. Thank you so much. - It's okay. - Oh. - What are you doing? - The Myers are philanthropists... - I'm just standing here. - You're standing in the hallway. - And they've just recently joined the board at the Cube, - so make sure they get VIP treatment. - You worry too much. All our patients get VIP treatment, Bick. God is blessed. - Hello, Arthur. - Ah. Owen. I heard you were here getting your second cycle of temozolomide. Yes. Yes, I finished my last fraction of radiation one month ago. And look at you. You look terrific. Well, uh... The therapy is working beautifully. Uh... the last brain scan showed... no tumor enhancement. - That's wonderful, news. - Mm-hmm. - Now, is there any dizziness, fatigue, - No. Weakness... seizure activity? No to all three. I feel like a new man. And if I, uh, may ask, h-how's the, uh, reconciliation going? My son, Peter, he's forgiven me. I plan to use every day I've got left to make up for the ones I wasn't here. Okay, now, as a fellow doctor, you'll be interested in this. We have a new medication that we can add to your treatment regimen. What is it? It's experimental. Valganciclovir. The antiviral? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. A team of researchers in Sweden gave it to a small group of glioblastoma patients, and they lived a remarkably long time. - Yeah, h-how long? - More than two years. Yeah. That's twice as long as the patients that didn't receive it. Two years? What I... What I could do with that time. I was hoping for a good six months. Shall I arrange it? Oh, sign me up! I'm gonna fight this thing with everything I've got. Look. - My grandson. - Mm. He was three last week. How's that for a reason to live? Give me that. Can you look at me, please, Mr. Myers? Uh, please, call me Jacob... Descendant of our tribe's forefather of the Israelites. Or, for short, the Messiah. So, just for the sake of clarity... You are the Messiah? I am chosen by Hashem, who calls on me to walk with angels. The only thing you should walk with is our dog, which you haven't done once since this started. You have any headaches recently? No, I've never felt better. And does God talk to you? If you're asking do I hear voices, no, I'm not crazy. But God and I have an understanding. I see. Uh, how long has this been going on? Ever since we got back from vacation. It was not a vacation. It was an aliyah. That's a pilgrimage to Israel. Where did you visit when you were in Israel? We shopped in Tel Aviv. We swam in the dead sea. It was wonderful. They have spa treatments there. - Then we went to the wailing wall... - Oh! - Where... this one went bananas. - I-I mean, I was brought to my knees. - And I was moved to tears. - He was on his knees. - B-being there, praying there... - It was very scary, actually. That is as close to heaven as I've ever felt. It changed me forever. Jerusalem syndrome? Mm, it's been around since ancient times. Apparently, people go to these holy sites, like the wailing wall, and they start relinquishing possessions, - wearing togas, sermonizing. - Yeah, but it's... It's temporary. And they usually recover in a couple of days. Yeah, but this has been going on for three weeks with this guy. Tracy said it's getting worse every day. He's such a show-off. You're eating doughnuts for lunch? Whatever, corn chip man. You got a problem with that? No, but... It's kind of low rent in the era of the cronut. "Cronuts"? What's a cronut? Imagine a croissant had a baby with a doughnut. - Oh, that sounds like a delicious baby. - Mm-hmm. Well, let's go right now. The only bakery that makes them is, uh, a few blocks away. Fresh cronuts... Full day's calories in one bite. I can't. I-I'm swamped. I can't leave. You always say that. You know, the only time I see you is when I come here. Well, I-I practically live here. You're gonna have to deal with that. At some point... soon... You're gonna have to let me take you on a proper date so we can, you know, move this thing forward. Thing? What thing? Hey, hey! Nice! Dad, you look tired. Would you like to lie down? Well, I am tired a little bit after chemo, but I'm stronger than I have been. Being with you and Jackson is the best medicine I've got. This new treatment sounds so hopeful. It is. Well, with a diagnosis like mine, the goal is to keep the patient alive long enough for some new miracle drug to appear. Daddy. Yes, my man? I want to play with you. Okay. Well, I want to play with you, too. Let's do it. Oh. Dad. What's happening? Take me back to the Cube. The E.R. stopped the bleeding. He's resting comfortably in his room. What happened? Nose and mouth bleeds are common side effects of chemotherapy, but they can lower his platelet count, so your dad may need a platelet infusion. That's... all it is? Mm-hmm. They'll run some tests to be sure. All right, come on. Show me what you got. Wait for it. - There it is. - Oh, touchdown! - Right on cue. - No, no, no, what am I missing? Spike in cerebral blood flow in his precuneus area, also known as "the God spot." It's one of the several areas of the brain linked to spirituality. You see, as Jacob listens to music, his right brain is shutting down because he's entering a trance state. So, why is this happening to a man who's never been spiritual before? - I don't know, but look at that. - Mm. Oh, wow. Decreased activity in his left culmen, hippocampus, and anterior cingulate. Jacob is communing with his God right now. There's nothing that you could label as abnormal in the scans. But we haven't got all the tests results back yet. Something is wrong. This makes no sense. Jacob always rebelled against his parents' religion. Were his parents orthodox? Oh, yes, hard-core. A tendency to believe in God can be inherited. There's... there's even a specific gene, VMAT2, linked to religiosity. Maybe your trip to Jerusalem triggered something that was already there in him. I always knew his parents would ruin our marriage. ♪ Ahh ♪ Oh, please tell me that's what I think it is. Your very own cronut. I had to wait an hour in line to get it. They are officially a thing now. Mmm! I think I just found the key to enlightenment. So, has the cronut earned me a walk to my place? Oh, we don't have to go that far. All right, if we need an elvish riddle to get through that door, I'm gonna marry you. This is the electronic age. Okay. This is, uh... most definitely enlightening. What's up? Reynaud's blood work came back. We did a complete metabolic panel. His platelets are normal, but the INR is 6.0. Oh, my God. The AST, the ALT... It's eight times over normal. Yeah. He was doing so well. He said his last scan was clear. I did a flawless job on that glioblastoma. I can't help it if the damn thing had already spread. The LFTs suggest metastasis to the liver. God. Never even got a chance to start the antiviral protocol. I just wish I wouldn't have held out that hope. He's gonna go fast. So, uh... Who's gonna tell him? Oh. Thank you. Yeah. I'll be back to check on you. Yeah, I know, I know... Low platelets. I'm surprised it hasn't happened before. When's the transfusion? Well, just say it. Your LFTs were through the roof. You're sure? We'll do an abdominal sonogram just to be certain. Cancer has spread to my liver. Yes. How long do you think I've got? Not long. - We'll make you as comfortable as possible. - No, no, no, no, no, no, - I'm gonna get a palliative-care specialist... - There must be something else you can do. - To come down here and discuss your options. - I will try anything... anything. I will try an experimental drug, uh, uh, more surgery. Uh, anything! I-I-I have to spend more time with my family. I am not ready for this! You... I'm sorry, Arthur. You're sorry? ! You're s-sorry. Mr. Janson, you need to wait in your room. - Dr. Black will be with you. - I'm, uh... I'm trying to get to the elevator. I heard there's a lobster truck outside. I'm from Maine. I-I can't pass up lobster. Oh, I-I can take him. Hello. I'm Jacob. I'm a fellow traveler here. Uh, Larry... Larry Janson. Do you like lobster? Well, my... my religion forbids shellfish, but I-I-I'd be happy to take you. You just wait right here. I'm just gonna get my coat. God bless you. And you. Uh... Lobster truck is here. Hm. An hour ago, I found Mr. Myers down in the E.R. washing the feet of a homeless guy. - Really? - Mm-hmm. Reminds me of my Uncle Ben... Goes to mass every day, twice on Sundays. Nobody calls him crazy or that he has some syndrome. You believe in God? I was raised Catholic. It never leaves you. I pray sometimes... mostly for the mets. God's record there is pretty spotty. - What's going on? - Anything? Who brought Mr. Janson out here? - I can see! - You can see? Jacob brought him for lobster. Ha! Jacob, I can see! I can see! All praise to Hashem! I can see! It's a miracle! I touched Larry, and Larry can see. This is a fact. Look, as scientists, you have to accept hard evidence. Larry has graves' disease. That's why he was blind. We treated him with a steroid that reduced the swelling... The medicine cured him, Jacob. - Not faith healing. - That's your version. Mine is that I experienced God's love moving through me to Larry. Now, wait a minute. Aren't faith healers frowned upon in judaism? Religious dogma is meaningless in the face of God's new revelations! I have a power to heal! And more than that... I understand things. You are missing something from your life. Perhaps it is God's grace. May we pray together? That's a very lovely offer, but... no, thank you. So, we have all of Jacob's test results back. He's completely healthy. No. He's barking mad. You know, I bet they said that about Joan of Arc. Just because we don't share in Jacob's faith, it doesn't mean that it's a condition, right? Just out of curiosity, does anyone in this room believe in God? Have you seen me operate? - I am God. - Mm. I believe in God. - She's awesome. - I am a scientist, and I am trained to equate truth with things that can be proven. Not only does faith ask you to accept things that are impossible to prove, it's just they defy all reason. But isn't that the very definition of faith? That you believe without proof? Then why not believe in leprechauns or unicorns? Santa Claus, bigfoot. Vampires. I do envy true believers. I do. I wish I could get out of my brain and... experience a real... Spiritual ecstasy or... That's what Tequila's for. You really feel that way? I do. I would love to feel God's presence. Ah, so you admit the possibility that God exists. Well, it can't be proved, but it can't be disproved, either. So, therefore, I... I think God may exist. This is the last of the cinnamon, by the way. I'll pick you up some tomorrow. Thank you. See, this... this may be proof that God exists. Must have cinnamon with with Will's special hot chocolate. Not work, I hope. No, it's Esme. I gave her a jacket today to impress a boy. "Jacket worked. We hung out after school. Miles is awesome." I'd forgotten how macabre this office is. Well, under the circumstances, the decor seems appropriate. Well, you know, I'm just one of those guys. I'm not... I am simply not afraid of death. I don't know why. I see it as either a beautiful release or a start of a great, unknown adventure. That's easy for you to say. Yes. Carlotta told me that you're feeling anxious. More like, uh, terrified. I have seen so many patients die. You'd think that I'd know how to do this. I-I... Okay. We're... We're here to help, and we... we want to, so we've set up hospice care in your home. But what else can we do? Uh, antidepressants or... No, no, no. Antidepressants take up to two weeks to work. By then, I'll be dead. Ohh. There must be something. I'll try anything. Okay. I have a... a colleague at a palliative care center. And he's in clinical trials, treating terminally ill patients with psilocybin. What? Hallucinogenic mushrooms? - No, I know, Owen. - Are you serious? I know what you're thinking, Owen, but it... Psilocybin has been tested all over the world to treat anxiety and depression in terminally ill patients. Apparently, people are having life-altering experiences. What... what... What kind of experiences? As far as I can tell, they're starting to see themselves as part of a larger whole. It's very spiritual, and... And afterwards, death seems less frightening. May I ask if you have any data on this? My colleague, he... he administered this drug to 18 volunteers, and 72% of them said that they had these profoundly spiritual experiences. Where... where... where can we get these mushrooms? It's not mushrooms. We would be using medical-grade psilocybin. When can I try this? Good afternoon. So, we have some news. Uh... We have all of Jacob's test results back, and, um, we can't find anything. S-so this means everything is fine. Well, that's awful. There's nothing you can fix? - I'm afraid not. - We can't find anything, so we have to assume that this is Jerusalem syndrome. Look at him. He's had a spiritual conversion. - Ian, is that man sane? - ... Fortify you. Religious ecstasy isn't considered insanity. As much as we want to fix it, if Jacob's not ill... - ...she'asah il kol tzorki. - There's nothing that we could do. I have nowhere to go. He gave away our house. Barukh attah adonai melkh ha-olam she-asah il kol tzorki. This is not what I signed up for! You are supposed to take care of me! Not me... you. I gave up my career because of you. I can't even get groceries. - How is that saintly? - ...she-asah il kol tzorki. My love, Jacob. If you ever loved me, stop. - Stop. - ... She-asah il kol tzorki. Stop. Jacob? Jacob? Jacob? Jacob, you've had a complex partial seizure, which can cause psychosis, including religious psychosis. Which means that this never was Jerusalem syndrome. And I'm sure you're aware that were having these episodes. Yes. What do you mean, you knew? How long has it been going on? Since a few months before we went to the holy land. That's when God first made himself known to me. - No. - Oh, my God. It isn't God. It's epileptiform activity. Your brain has had spontaneous neural activity, and that's... that's what feels like God. We can't convince you of this right now, but what's more important is that we get you on the anti-seizure medication. - And once the seizures stop... - God will go away? I don't want God to go away. Repeat seizures can cause brain damage. Listen to me. Yes, you are. We need to section him. He's not competent to make this decision. We're not praying. We're taking the medication, and we're gonna get you home. And you're gonna be all better. Shh. This stuff is hard to come by... Psilocybin cubensis. Where did you get it? From a colleague running a clinical trial. I have to send back what's left over. I'm packing it into a gelatin capsule. The trick is to get just the right amount. It lessens the chance of a bad reaction. Great. Here's the leftovers. - Put them in a safe place. - Thanks, I appreciate it. My pleasure. Most people experience some nausea, but don't worry. It soon passes. I've set you up with five hours' worth of beautiful music. - Ah. - Listening to music helps, so... Can I have the remote? Thank you. Manuel will be standing by at all times with a tranquilizer, so if there's anything that feels uncomfortable or you feel any fear, you... you just speak up. - You say so, all right? - All right. Okay. How's the volume? You let me know if there's any problems right away. Well, it's real sweet of you to keep coming here for lunch. And for dinner. Your secret room rocked my world. Yeah, it did. But I am gonna give you a deadline. A deadline? For our date... A real date. It's got to happen tonight. You get dressed up. So do I. I pick you up... not here, but at your apartment. Where is that, by the way? - Oh, it's not far... at all. - Okay, good. And we'll go to my favorite restaurant. And afterwards, I show you my place. Mm. I-I need a little bit more advance notice. How... how about the last Saturday of this month, - 'cause tonight I have this... - Cancel it. Look, if you don't do this for me, I... I don't know. Because your life is here, but... mine is not. I got it. You're right. - I'll meet you by the elevators. - Mm-hmm. 6:00 P.M.? And if you aren't there... I won't be back again. Mother. Oh. You made my favorite, mommy. Alan? I thought you were dead. I am. What's it like? Lovely. Come with me, and I'll tell you all about it. Oh, wait. Not yet. There were lots of doors. And... and... Each door led to a different loved one from my life. My mother. Mom. And my brother, who died last year. I-I moved easily from room to room. And I knew that there were many more rooms ahead that, in time, I would get to. I wanted to go through those doors. Makes no sense, but... I feel that I will be going through them... Soon. And... I'm looking forward to it. Gosh. You have any more of that, uh... psilocybin lying around? - You serious? - I want to see my mom. You're just as likely to see zombies. - Well, I would love to see zombies. - I knew you would. Don't you ever, you know, want to ha a spiritual experience? Yes. That's what I was telling you. I only did mushrooms once, in high school, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I'm returning what's left over tomorrow. Excuse me. Here. Good news. Dr. Black says you haven't had any seizure activity in 24 hours. - You can go home now. - Good. And as it turns out, we still have a home. Our lawyer says, if you're psychotic when you give away everything you own, it doesn't count. The nurse doesn't need to hear our problems, sweetheart. I'm sorry. You're right. You seem quite different today, Mr. Myers. How are you feeling now? Like I need to get back to the office. We're fighting a hostile takeover. We're in the middle of a new ad campaign. I haven't been away from my desk this long in years. Hear that? I have my baby back. - Mr. Myers. - Ian. - U look terrific. - Thank you, sir. Well, I turned in my toga. Ian. - God, thank you so much for everything. - Yeah, yeah. We're thinking what this place needs is a donor wall. - Yeah. - Jacob. I heard you were leaving. - Can you give me one last blessing? - Sure. May the force be with you. That... that's it? Yeah, I'm afraid so. For more details, see your local priest or rabbi. Take care. - So, you all good? - Yeah, I'm good. - Good, good... - More or less. Just, um... I mean, you know, crazy as it sounds, I-I miss God. Well, if it's of any comfort, I'm sure God would be thrilled at your recovery. Really? How do you figure? 'Cause you serve God's neediest people by making tons of money and giving it away. - God loves charity. - All right. If you wandered the world with a begging bowl, who would that help? - Absolutely no one. - Nobody. In fact, it'd be a sin. So go forth, continue to do God's work. - All right. Golf next week. - Done. So, uh, is there anybody home? No. No, my mom's out of town, and my dad's working late. You busy? For you? Never. I just want to say that I thought you were great with the Myers. Well, they're good people. I owe them a lot. Tracy told me that you were the one that introduced them that shelter in Haiti. People are complicated. Well, you maybe. Not me. - I think you're complicated. - Well, you're wrong. You just don't understand me. Where are you headed? Got a date. Does that give you a twinge? No. Bye. Honey, you home? Shh! Okay. Shh! Hi, dad. Um, this is my friend Miles. You think I don't recognize the smell of weed. Dad. Get out. Hey. What is it? What do you mean? Okay, I'm on my way. Josh needs my help. Esme's stoned. - What? - Yeah. He wants me to go over and give her a talk. - Really? - Mm. The first thing I got into trouble with as a teenager was smoking weed. Mmm. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. It's delicious. - Wish me luck. - Good luck. I'm glad you called. Guess you want me to come down pretty hard, right? Yeah. She'll listen to you... I hope. - She's pretty stoned. - Is she? It's not funny. No, I know. For three, and it's good. He is just 3 of 13 behind the arch, and he puts up a big three to give his team a four-point lead. This is a high-resolution S.P.E.C.T. Image of a chronic marijuana user. Okay, so, here you can see the decreased activity in the prefrontal cortex. This is bad. Oh. The, uh... Weed, it can, uh... can trigger psychosis. Aunt Kate? Are... are you okay? Are you okay? Dad! Hey, baby. It's me. I... There's something strange going on in here. There's a zoo in your fridge. You okay? No, I think I ate something bad. So I'm gonna... I'm gonna get out of here. This is to be continued. Bye. Peter. He's going. He can still hear you, if you have anything you'd like to say to him. Dad. I love you. But what about Jackson? I don't want to leave him. He'll be fine. Come on, Arthur. It's time. Wow. - Who is this? - It's Owen. Arthur just passed. Knew you'd want to know. It was very peaceful. His son was with him. Oh, thank you. Whoa! Hey, there's no one driving that thing! Ho! Someone stop it! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Easy. Easy, boy. You boys lose something? - That was scary. - Officer! Good. I've never seen such a thing. Shouldn't we bring those boys in or something? Trust me, whatever punishment we give them, it's nothing compared to what's waiting for them at home. Those boys know if anything was to happen to that horse, if it got injured, the whole family would lose its ability to plow the field, make food for the winter. So that's it? They're just gonna feel really, really guilty? It works. Believe me. It won't happen again. I guess growing up here, you know all this stuff. You have no idea. Where are we? Ohio, somewhere. I miss Mommy. I know. Me too. We have a match and a name - Denny Lorton. Calls himself Pica. He has form. Sexual assault 30 years ago. God, this being a detective is easy. The dead boy is Benjamin Rigby. 15 years old. He's been selling himself for 18 months or so. Had he been reported missing? Mum's a junkie. That lane was his beat. Is this Lorton? Reckon they can make this room any uglier? Probably not. It's like they think no-one actually has to work in here. Why do we settle for ugly like it doesn't matter? A bit of colour there, painting there. Some flowers. I'm wasted in this profession. Pick this creep up, will ya? Tommy. (Whistles) Hmm... Hmm... Strictly cash these days, Manos. Since when? Since I woke up in a strange hotel room with third degree burns on my arse and no idea how they got there. I owe you big-time, mate. If you change your mind, give us a tinkle. (Phone rings) Red. Good morning's work. You humiliate a young cop and keep that clump of sink hair out of prison. Oh, you Jews are so Old Testament. I did my job. How are things? Barney and I are still under the same roof, if that's what you mean. He does the dishes, I sort the socks and ironing, we don't talk. So all back to normal. As in, you mean, are you off the hook? No, I didn't mean that. (Quiet knock on door) Just a sec. Wendy rang. Something about a meeting with John Bartrop, which typically you didn't share with me. I don't know any John Bartrop. Who is John Bartrop? You were apparently due at Fuzz's school an hour ago. Oh, shit. That John Bartrop. Sorry. Um, Red, can we talk later? Why? He is a beautiful student, an absolute pleasure to teach. You don't have to sugar coat this for me, you know. I mean every word of it. The other teachers' comments have ranged from, 'Is everything alright at home' to 'Have doctors mentioned medication? ' (Laughs) Well, Finnegan has issues. His attention span isn't enormous but he's so engaging and clever. Wow. Well, he does like your classes. English is the only subject he seems to study. He expresses himself beautifully. So I don't have to send him down the mines quite yet? Um, I'm sorry, I think that might be my next appointment. No, that is your previous one. That's Fuzz's dad who's just successfully missed every other parent-teacher interview. Cleaver, this is Fiona McCready, Fuzz's English teacher. Hi. Sorry. Caught up in a very complex trial. Oh, was the complex trial run over five or eight furlongs? Finnegan mentioned you were a barrister. I think he wants to follow in your footsteps. According to all the other teachers, he is. What is an education, anyway? I spent most of 1982 learning 52.8% of Malaysia's GDP came from rubber. I don't even know if they produce the stuff anymore. He's a bright boy, he's falling behind. Why? Because he doesn't sit up straight in class and say, 'Miss, Miss, ask me! ' You know what happens to kids who do that. Yes, they're in an office somewhere with their hand up still. Anyway, that last teacher seemed quite impressed. Yes, she did. Yeah. Never had a teacher who looked like that. I did once see Miss Treadwell in her bathers. Her varicose veins looked like an aerial shot of the Nile Delta. (Laughs) Is there a word that means even shallower than superficial? Are you still screwing Scarlet? I knew it was a mistake telling you. No, it was a mistake doing it. And poor Barney. How is he? Doesn't, won't and can't ever know, OK? Wendy, it's over, alright? I've learned a very big lesson. Fuzz! How hot is your English teacher! Mr Bartrop made it pretty clear he's at the end of his patience with you. No-one takes Bartrop seriously. We do. (Mobile phone rings) And you must. Sorry, work. He is the principal of a school that your father and I spent a fortune on. Isn't that right, Cleave? No, ten units, Race Four, Charlemagne's Pride. Cleave! Yes! Yeah, a fortune. An absolute fortune, mate. No, 15 units. Only to the station. You're a really clever boy, Fuzz darling. If you just knuckle down... Tell him, Cleave. To win. When have you heard me back a place... Most important years in your life, mate. Why don't you just buy your lunch like everyone else? Because there is a perfectly good, cold roast lamb in the fridge. So is this how it's going to be now? A permanent cone of silence until one of us dies? Who's gonna read me a story? Just read it yourself, OK? Not now. OK. Well? Tell me his name. (Sighs) It doesn't matter now. I'm back here in the loving bosom of the family. Yes, it does matter. Who did you screw? 13-1. Yep. Good, see ya. The PDO's sent you a murder. Hey, you know we're out of this room tomorrow. A street kid, tortured and murdered. There goes all the fun. I don't mind adults whacking each other but this stuff twists you. So Barney will meet you in remand. Barney's instructing? That's good, isn't it? Yeah. Good. He'll meet you there. Did you know the deceased? Had you had an argument with him? Had he tried to rob you? Provoke you? Had you had sex with him? I'm not into boys. You're currently living in a shelter in Abbotsford. Is that right, Denny? I'm Pica now. Some days yes, other days no. (Mouthes) Pica. The police have your DNA on the knife, the victim's blood on your clothes. Witnesses saw you running from the lane. They may have. But I didn't do it. He was alive when I found him. I took the knife out, but he died. OK. Alright, we'll look into it further and get back to you. You can't possibly believe him. We've got our instructions. Got your baggy eyes spot-on. Thanks, mate. Who is he, for Christ's sake? He is Pica. What do we know about his prior? Statutory rape. 15-year-old girl. He was 19. Girl. Interesting. You reckon it was a stitch-up? Well, come on. He looks like he did it, he sounds like he did it, he's homeless, he's got a serious prior. It's the easiest stitch-up in the world. Jails are full of guys who are there because they look like him. You know? No. So you guys have sorted things out? We haven't sorted out a bloody thing. Hey, you know that guy we met at the exhibition? Joe Sandilands? The Attorney General. He didn't like the painting either. (Both laugh) Yeah, well he wants me to run. State parliament. Oh. Dutch Patterson's old seat. It's safe Labor. If I get preselection, I'm a certainty. And is that something you want? Yeah. I never thought I had a chance. I joined Young Labor when I was 16. Went to God knows how many meetings. And here all you needed to do was get shot. You think that's the only reason they've asked me? I didn't say that. No, but you're implying it. Well, they did only notice you after the tabloids called you 'hero'. OK, fine. I'll stay at the bar. If you're going to be negative about it. What's it got to do with me? Why is my opinion so significant? Well, I care what you do. You can do what you want. All I'm saying is from my experience, politicians tend to be... Let me guess - arrogant, self-indulgent, trough-sniffing arseholes. I was going to say sad, mostly. And how many politicians do you know? A few. Through my dad. Look, I spend half my life trying to get people like Cleaver Greene to pay their tax. How do you think that makes me feel? This is a chance for me to do some good. So do it. Knock 'em dead. I have to go study. TV: Then let it go, and crouch, and hold. CLEAVER: Morning, folks. Stretch out the whole body and... Pica hardly sleeps here. Just comes to paint and read. I've no idea what he does with the rest of his time. I shouldn't let him stay, really, but he's quiet and he's a gentleman. There you go, my lad. Come on, boys, out of there. Finnegan. She is your teacher! She's meant to be telling you about Jane Austen. It is age inappropriate sex! It's bloody great sex. At your age, you should be having exploratory sex with a girl your own age. And maybe some oral. Oh, yuck. The damage you are doing to your psyche could be irreparable, darling. I know. I'm trained. Well, I'm not ending it. It is immoral! Hello! I thought we didn't buy into this whole God, myth, mortal sin bullshit. No, but I believe there's a natural order and a fine balance to life and if the rhythms are violated Oh fuck, Fuzz! I want you to stop seeing the wretched woman! Do you hear me? Most of the Eastern seaboard can! I am going to report her to the school and she'll go to prison and you can visit her on weekends. You can't stop us. We love each other! Oh, now you're being a petulant little fucking idiot. Is this how you counsel your suicidal patients? (Slam! ) Oh! Come on, Flick. 'Tonight these artists have come of age.' I deserve to make a living. You earn yours defending drug barons and pimps and yes, I do bloody care about the bloody Congolese. (Mobile phone rings) These are good, aren't they? He's got your baggy eyes. Yes, he's good. But you know that. Yeah, but he's very good, isn't he? I need to see more. Goes by the name of Pica. Formerly known as Denny Lorton. These are Lorton's? How recent? Who is he, first? Who was he, you mean? Prize student at Courtaulds, several major exhibitions, two paintings in the National Gallery. He was knocking on the door big-time, then he disappeared. I thought he was dead. Well, he's come back to life. What are his paintings worth? Depends on size. And artistic merit, presumably. Not really, just size. (Mobile phone rings) He used to go for anything up to 60 grand. What's he done with all of it? Get him to exhibit here, maybe I'll forgive you. No, I won't. This is crap, isn't it, Flick? Complete. No, this time you've gone too far. I've spoken to the lawyers, you're never going to see your son again. I don't know how you can look at yourself every morning without throwing up. Am I going to get a look-in on this conversation? No, because I know exactly what you're going to say so you can spare me the smart remarks. I don't know how you could let this happen in your own apartment, your own son. Oh, that's what this is about. Wendy, he's 15 years old, alright, almost 16. He's got a girlfriend. Oh, you are genuinely sick if you think this is appropriate. All I did was save our son 50 bucks on a room in some flea pit. He's a kid. He's in love with another kid. With another kid? ! Yes. It's a girl in his English class. He told me all about it. The girl from his English class is his fucking English teacher, you moron! Oh... Apologies, but I am in such a hurry. Another one'll be along any mo. Yes, oh. You didn't know? No, no, I didn't. Woollahra, thanks. Um... What do you think you're doing, you bastard? ! Give those back! Have you told the school? Shit! Don't let him in! No, I don't want my son's head pixelated all over the Sunday papers. Crown Street, thanks. Where are your manners? He'll tire of this woman. Boys can't see straight with a hard-on. No 15-year-old boy is going to tire of a woman shoving perfect tits in his face. You need to know that you have ruined his life, OK? And you have ruined my life. (Slams phone down) His English teacher. Have you ever had sex with any of your teachers? No, neither did I. You need a hand with the biros? When I was a student backpacking, I went to the Prado in Madrid. Hate art. I made a mistake of going to the National Gallery once. Boring as. Ah, and with one sentence, 2,000 years of civilisation is dismissed. Bevan didn't mind it but... Bevan? Yes, Bevan. Bevan, yes, yes. Bevan, your boyfriend Bevan. Fiance. Just rooms and rooms full of bleeding saints and fat cherubs. There's this room full of these Goya sketches, sort of man's inhumanity stuff. I could hardly breathe. Felt a bit the same when I saw Pica's stuff. Did Goya murder kids too? No. And you don't judge artists by the way they live their lives. I don't care if he can sing, write, paint and dance all at the same time. An arsehole's an arsehole. Isn't it time you went on a diet? No, I'm a good weight. How long have we got this room? How long does it take to fix cancerous testicles? Oh. Oh, geez, Keith must be pissed. He never used the bloody things when he had 'em. Found out what our boy did with his money. Yeah? He paints a masterpiece, sells it at grunge markets for a fiftieth of what it's worth, then wanders around the city handing out wads of cash to homeless people. Jesus Christ. We're defending Jesus Christ. I don't need money. That was Denny Lorton, my previous life. Now I find it an intrusion. So that's what you were doing in a lane that night? You were giving Ben Rigby money? I'd been told about him. I'd sold something. I thought he could use the cash and I could sketch him. What had you been told? That he was beautiful. I wanted to see for myself. And you found him dying? But he was exquisite. There's a photo in the Tate Modern. Like this. How we look from 900m up. All dots, an irrelevance. Don't go metaphysical, mate. Juries hate that. The Greeks were terrified of beauty too. They saw it as a torment, excruciating, unreachable. I want to capture the precise moment when things are exquisite. Listen, I don't normally make a habit of asking this but this time it matters. Did you murder him? No, I did not. Some dots stand out. Are you OK? So why do you want to run, Dave? I'd like to make a difference. Oh, yeah? Example? Well, I think we could try to make New South Wales the hardest State in the country to buy a gun. Whoa, there. Tread carefully. We've still got a few very marginal country seats. We don't want to upset the gun lobby. (Laughs) For fuck's sake, Wal. What's so funny? Wal, you're living in a bubble. Mate, those seats are gone. They're rooted. And I don't mean that in a nice way. That's the status quo. We're not married. Every year they hold the State party conference in a different place. That's usually a lot of fun for the wives. You know, my Joe's got his eye on your David. Why? Is he gay? Oh, I don't know what he is sexually. I'm just married to him. (Women laugh) Wendy, Wendy, stop yelling. Thank you. Listen, Wendy! Just don't speak to John Bartrop. Do not speak to him. There's no point in speaking to Bartrop, OK? Leave the school out of it. I'll talk to Fuzz. Leave it to me. I'll talk to him and Mrs Robinson. Yeah. Who's John Bartrop? A puff of air in a mohair cardigan, and my new name of choice for telemarketers and Mormons. Right. Bang! The first cut gets him there, and then he's down, he's dead. And then bang, bang, bang, three symmetrical wounds there. And then... Why did he stab him under there? Well, according to Shrimpton, Lorton stabs the kid here. Shrimpton then heroically runs for help. Lorton then drags the now dead body over to here. Makes no sense. It's closer to the street. Why would you put it in a place that's lit up like the SCG? Now, your father was in the diplomatic service, is that right? David's told us all about you. Very proud of his wife's exotic background. We're not married. Where exactly was he stationed? All over. Italy, Spain, we ended up in Peru. Bloody hell, no way. Peru? That's where my brother-in-law was stationed. Bob! Oh, this was many years ago. Yeah, ten years ago he was there. Bob, you great deaf bastard. Come here! Oh, my phone. Oh, excuse me. If I was Joe Average instead of Joe Sandilands, I wouldn't be voting for us. I'd be buying a gun before Davo here bans them, I'd be putting a fucking bullet in my head. I think you've had enough there, Joe. No, Wal, Wal, I've only just begun, brother. This man here is exactly what this party needs and we need 20 of 'em and we need 'em bloody quickly. (Mobile phone rings) Oh. Ah, we're almost done, aren't we, cock? See you, mate. Yeah. You know what my first act will be when I run this country? Make threesomes compulsory? OK. But my second act will be to abolish five-day weather forecasts and publicly execute those who give them. Some might say extreme. No, Sunday night, some guy who believes he has a personality 'cause he wears a bow tie says, 'It's galoshes day Monday, folks! ' Then this lunatic pretends to tell me the weather for the next five days. Folks might find this useful in the planning of a week. Well, folks would be deceived, because by Tuesday night, bow tie has changed his forecast for two of the five nights but won't admit it. Your point being if it's a five-day weather forecast, how come he changes his mind every night? Clearly, he can't, you know. Kill him. Compassionately, but yes. I'm sorry but um... What have you come as, eh? What's the emergency? Where's hero-sorry-tax boy? I just abandoned him at Parliament House. It was unbearable. They want him to run. Oh, God, strike at my vitals. What am I doing? This is mad. I should go. Come on, I just hauled my arse halfway across town. I'm sorry. Look, there's a hotel across the road there. We could grab a room, really thrash this thing out. (Laughs) It's not gonna happen. No? Come on, well, why do you call? Why do you... Why do you keep dropping in? Fine, I won't. No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying why? Why? I don't know. And I can't stay. Oh, well, this has been a cracker day for me. I'm only trying to get an innocent man off murder charges. I'm happy for the distraction, yeah. I thought everyone you defended was guilty. Do you remember that long weekend we spent together? Yeah, yes. Son Of Astor paid for it. Came in ten to one. I had you for four beautiful days, all to myself. In the Margaret River. And I really slept there, didn't I? Yes, you did. Yeah, it was pretty much all you did, actually. Snuggled up and snoozed. I didn't mind. They had in-house porn. Call me anytime. It's looking a bit messy. Ah, Sal. David, my wife Sally. David, hi. Pleasure. Pleased to meet you. Shall we get you home? (Door opens) Just passing. Mm-hm. Am I correct in remembering you handled a drug case two years ago with a key witness who's a guy called Shrimpton? Stanley Shrimpton? You got a conviction on the basis of his testimony. That's what you've come here to talk about? Yeah, I think I might be defending a genuinely innocent guy. I mean, an actually innocent guy. Why did you go to bed with me if you didn't want me? Hmm? Was it just about landing me? Once I'm flapping about on the deck, I'm just a dead fish. What are you talking about landing you, Red? We'd already done it before. So you tell me, then. Why did you want me? Because at that precise moment, there was no-one more beautiful on Earth and I had to have you. No, no, no, you're so full of shit! OK. Because I was drowning, and because you were a lifebuoy and you were in the same wet place. Stanley Shrimpton. A piece of vermin who got off child abuse charges by becoming a police informant. Now, go, will you? Thanks, Red. OK, I'm sorry. I was bored stupid. What happened? Nothing. I got trapped between one woman who was advocating tougher tort reform and one who wanted to style herself after Michelle Obama. You were gone almost an hour. I felt like an idiot. I had to tell everyone you'd gone home sick. I'm sorry, darling. No, stuff sorry. What happened? One of your new playmates has a brother-in-law who may have known my father when we were in Peru. So? There was a woman at the embassy. She was a translator and my father had an affair with her. Turns out this woman was, I don't know, some sort of spy. But it ruined my father's career and it drove my mother to the brink of suicide. And I suppose that's where cousin Angus comes in. Yes. Everything turned to shit. My father ended his career in disgrace and frankly, I didn't want to talk about it in front of those buffoons. I don't think it would have helped your career much. Now I feel like a shit. I won't put you through that again. How is that possible? Do you want me to drop this thing? No. You have to do what you have to do. I mean, I'm not proud of what Dad did but there isn't a day that goes by I don't miss him. We have the murder weapon, DNA evidence, the deceased's blood was found on the accused, and most importantly, we have an eye witness. This is a particularly heinous crime. The death of a lad who knew nothing but grief and hardship. Such crimes make us question our very humanity. Lorton's prints were on the murder weapon. The victim's blood was found on his shirt, under his fingernails and on his shoes when we arrested him. I must warn members of the jury that they are very disturbing. Detective, can you describe the nature of these wounds? The knife into the back of the head severed his spinal cord. This was followed by three stab wounds down his torso, one in his armpit. According to the coroner, the coagulation of the blood suggests that all of these were done after Benjamin had died. As in a sort of ritual killing? Objection. Detective Maraco, please confine your remarks to matters pertaining to your investigation. You are not a medical expert. And, Mr Dalton, you should know better. My apologies, Your Honour. Detective, you've conducted a pretty thorough investigation here, haven't you? No stone unturned? I'd say, yeah, it was a thorough investigation, yes. What was the boy doing in that lane, Detective? Soliciting. So he was a lawyer? (Some giggling) He was performing oral sex. So he was a male prostitute? Who were his clients, Detective? Uh, beautiful fashion models? Romanian princesses? Men. Plump, wheezing, sweaty middle-aged men with 50 bucks to spare. I wouldn't know. How many men (clears throat) had he transacted that evening, Detective? We don't know. Several. Several. So is that six, seven? Could be. So he could have serviced a whole league team. Detective, presumably you've had semen tests performed, yes? Yes, we did. Ah, most of it was ingested. In his stomach? Yes. So my client's sperm was in there? Ah, no, it doesn't appear so. So, I'm sorry, but a veritable bevy of unknown men abuse this boy and then disappear back to the bosom of their loving families, and yet the only man the police investigate is my client, who's the only man we know for sure didn't have sex with Ben Rigby. The boy was seen alive just before Mr Lorton went into the lane. What if my client had stumbled onto the boy already dying, killed not by him, but by any one of these anonymous gentle folk that he'd recently serviced? We have a witness who says he saw Mr Lorton murder the boy. Or could he have, at that distance, seen my client in fact remove the knife? And if so, would he not be awash in Ben Rigby's blood? Could that not explain the blood on my client, Detective? Possibly. Is 'possibly' another word for 'yes'? Yes. Possibly. No further questions, Your Honour. That was it, eh? I seen him go into the lane, pull out the knife, stab the poor little bastard. Pica was off his nut. Thank you, Mr Shrimpton. Is this the first time you've given evidence in a criminal trial, Mr Shrimpton? No. Murder cases? No, drug cases. Cases? I see. Isn't it true that on three occasions, you've been granted immunity from prosecution if you testified against the accused in these drug cases? Objection! Your Honour, my client's future rests on the testimony of this man and this man only. I'll allow it. But no fishing expeditions, Mr Greene. Your Honour. Mr Shrimpton, you said you know my client. I've seen him around. Did he ever give you money? Yeah. Yeah, once he did. He helped a lot of homeless people, didn't he? He used to come around, paint us, give out cash. In fact, he gave away thousands of dollars, didn't he? Fair bit. It was you who led my client to the lane that night, wasn't it? He said he wanted to paint him. Because you told Denny, and I quote, 'Benny's an effing little Adonis.' Yeah, I don't remember me exact words. Had you had oral sex yourself with Ben Rigby that evening? Come on, Mr Shrimpton. Maybe a brief but therapeutic tryst up a back lane? Yeah, but, you know, just a quick one. Take comfort. Premature ejaculation's not on trial here. Listen, pal, I seen that sick bastard there whack that poor little kiddie. And yet you did nothing to stop him. Went and got help, didn't I? Maybe you went and got an alibi. See, I'm at a bit of a loss, Mr Shrimpton. You say my client kills the boy he's gone to give money to and then instead of bolting, he drags his body 30m down a lane, and then hangs around for 15 minutes. Why would he do that? Ask him. More incredible, he now places the body under a street light. Would you do that, Mr Shrimpton? If, in the terribly unlikely event you were to have killed somebody, would you do a runner, or would you take 15 precious minutes to drag the body so that you could place it under a street lamp in full view of the street? Hey, listen, I haven't killed no-one. You've just confessed to the court, Mr Shrimpton, of a Clintonesque interlude with a minor. Have you been charged with this offence, Mr Shrimpton? No. Really? Have you done another grubby deal with the police, Mr Shrimpton? Objection! I withdraw it. Thank you, Your Honour. That was better than sex. Then you're not trying hard enough, cock. I've gotta make way for another couple of beers. Congratulations, your name in the papers yet again. WOMAN: Good result. Lorton did do it, you know? Well, then, you should have made a better case, mate. Couldn't. Hands were tied. There you go. You know how your bloke did time for that statutory rape? Yeah, he was 19, she was 16. It was bullshit. Exactly. I kept asking myself how it ever made it to court, so I checked. Turns out your boy slashed the girl with a knife. Both breasts. Sex with a minor was all they could get him on. Why was that? She wouldn't cooperate. Said he was a genius and apparently that's what geniuses do. I wouldn't know what geniuses do. I'm just a dumb arse cop. I know nothing about art. Sleep well, Mr Greene. (Door opens) (Door closes) I hear you had a big win. Oh, for God's sake, Barney. Alright! He was a man that I met at the Adelaide conference. He's English. And he is now safely back in Devon with his wife and he will never ever come back here. What's his name? Does it matter now? You don't know him and I'm never gonna see him again. OK! OK. John. Bartrop. John Bartrop. There. You happy now? Bleeding saints. Recognise this? Guido Reni. In six months the streets would have made him ugly. He would have died in a crack haze down some lane. I gave him that, his moment of absolute perfection. No, you killed a kid, you insane prick! (Groans) I'm going to the cops. With what? A picture painted 400 years ago? I will find a way, I swear to God. There is no way and you know it. Camus said - Ah! Fuck Camus. (Groans) (Door unlocks) Fuzzball. Come in, come in. Fiona, welcome, welcome. Where's your stuff? Oh, I'm not staying the night. Oh, you're very welcome. The old sofa bed might be a little bit cramped, and the place has had a health warning slapped on it. No, thank you, I just wanted to explain my position. Oh, nothing to explain. It's all done, isn't it? Told you he'd be cool. Mum's given us so much shit. Well, you know mothers. What I feel for your son is very sincere. Great. So, mate, I've got your favourite here - burgers and chips. Is that OK with you, Fiona? Oh, you're not staying? Finnegan, would you mind grabbing my purse? I think I left it in the car. She's got you on the hop already, mate. Sit down. Look, I... I know he's young. (Bangs around in the kitchen) But there's something so special, beautiful. I-I tried to resist him, believe me. I-I tried but... What we have now is extremely honest and good. You sure I can't tempt you with a burger? Uh, no. Come on, we've got marty sauce. No? I want to find a way to make this work. I want to protect him emotionally and care for his academic future. Sorry, did you say protect him? Yes. You're delusional. You think I'm delusional? From what Finnegan tells me about you, it sounds like you... Oh, listen Fiona, I know I'm a sinner, alright? I know, because despite the enormity of what you're doing with my beautiful boy, I would fuck you in a heartbeat if he wasn't coming back in a minute. Do you really want to turn him into me? The best thing you can do for Fuzz right now, believe me, is go downstairs, get in your car, and get driving and keep driving, preferably until you find some sort of elevated landform, and then keep driving a little bit more, OK? Let's go, Fi. Fuck, Dad. Fuzz. Fuzz. Mate... (Dials) (Phone rings) Sorry to call late, cock. I was up. I just needed to hear a friendly voice. It's been one prick of a day. Yeah? First, Lorton. And then- One of the many things Scarlet hates about me is my inability to lose my temper, so I won't even try now. But let's have nothing more to do with each other, OK? Barn, what the hell are you- Ask Scarlet about John Bartrop. You were joking about him, remember? In the alley where Ben Rigby was killed. What'd you call him? A puff of wind in a mohair cardigan? You know, even when you're destroying lives, somehow it still comes out as a bloody joke. (Phone click) £ I walked for miles £ I'm shifting sands £ The cold, cold wind £ Did blow £ I look in the night sky £ And all I can see £ The buckets of tears £ Raining down on me £ And I'll lay my head down low £ I'll lay my head down low £ Oh, oh £ I looked in the night sky £ And all I could see £ Were buckets of tears £ Raining down on me £ And I'll lay my head down low £ I'll lay my head down low, oh £ And I'll lay my head down low £ Lay my head down low, oh. £ Let's go out the rear entrance. Shirou! Saber? I'm surprised to see Saber with you. You... Archer! What's with you finally showing up now? 530)}#09 The Distance Between Them Isn't it obvious? I sensed a threat to my Master and rushed to her side. But it appears I was too late. it's all over! I'll fill you in on everything that happened so you just stand there and listen! Looks like I arrived at the worst possible time. You can say that again! and now you decide to show up? all right. I'll rush to your side at once. which Servant was eliminated? It was the Rider-class Servant that disappeared. but she was probably taken out by Caster. The coward. Then she really was all talk. Rider died protecting her Master. You are in no position to call her a coward. A coward is a coward. One who calls herself a hero should at least try to take her opponent out with her. That she was defeated without resistance suggests she was unable to do so. and you call yourself a hero? anyone not suited to fight this battle should disappear early on. Well said. Archer? I am compelled by Command Seal not to fight you. I would die just like Rider. Saber? that's enough. My alliance with Emiya-kun is only until we defeat the Master hiding in the school. Or what? Do you want to force me to use another Command Seal on you? Perhaps. I got carried away teasing her. Saber. as well. I shall overlook your words. the first thing we need to do is locate her Master. Caster's Master comes to this school every day. we should let them be. In other words we attack before they can return to Ryuudou Temple? Exactly. won't they stop coming to school because it's too risky? That's unlikely. I doubt Caster's Master still possesses their free will. That's her style. Her very first move was probably to turn her Master into a puppet. That makes sense. we'll continue our investigation of the school. we strike. but how do we look for them? That's our homework for next time. We're all tired. Let's call it a day. I can still— Hey... Tohsaka! Can't you see that Archer is acting strange? we need to be on the same page. I get it! I'll go home. I'll do as you say and go home. then. and good work today. I was able to see you as a Master. Archer! we'll get to the bottom of this screw-up! there it is. The uncharacteristic lack of verbal abuse was troubling me. look here... Am I going to have to lay down the law? You want to sleep in my room? Of course. To prevent a repeat of last night's error I shall sleep in your room. Surely you have no objections? I do! Big ones! When it comes down to it it's your fault for falling victim to remote hypnosis from such a great distance. I cannot protect you from Caster's magic so it's natural that I at least stay in the same room. that's a perfectly sound argument. tonight— All right. I'll have you sleep nearby. Good. That's the logical choice for a Master. But only nearby. idiot. It is the sixth day since the war commenced. You are the first to make their way here. boy? O-Of course I am! You want me to die? ! and I'm no longer a Master! I-I'm just an ordinary human. I'm just a victim in all this! when we can't do anything! What? Do you have a problem with that? Of course not. You are the first to withdraw from this war and to use this church's services since it was founded. I will offer you every hospitality. What? You're saying I'm the only one that's been knocked out? what will he say? This is all you people's fault! Rider! Oh? Then Rider was of no use to you? Damn right! she went and died like a dog! Any other Servant would have been way more useful! I did exactly as Grandfather said! My preparations were perfect! But those bastards all got in my way! It was two against one! I didn't stand a chance with those odds! it wasn't my fault that I lost. that's all! Always looking down on me with those smug expressions! crap! Then you're saying that you still have the resolve to fight? You are most fortunate. There happens to be one available Servant. Open up! Where is she? You're insane! Where's my daughter? Eva? Eva? Get out! Help me! Eva? He's in there! Eva...? Mr gundelach, get down, please. Where's my daughter? Get down. Down! Now! Hands. Show me your hands. Put them on your head. What did she do with my daughter? Where's eva? I didn't do it, cornielle! Arrest her! Arrest her! Mind your head, mr gundelach. Arrest her! Arrest her! Cornielle, arrest her! Sir. Sir? What is it? You better come have a look. What the hell's goin' on? Eva's been found safe and well. Where? At her Uncle's. Kids, hey? All that panic for nothing. I want to get a solicitor. Does Christy even know I'm here? What the hell is going on? Are you going to charge me or what? The 49 year old fisherman was airlifted to cairns base hospital, where he remains in a serious but stable condition. The police investigation into the murder of 4 year old brisbane boy Thomas murnane has been reignited, with the detention of the boy's mother for questioning. The 32 year old woman was taken from her home by homicide detectives and is assisting them with their inquiries. This comes after the recent release of Benjamin gundelach, who had been a figure of intense speculation after finding the boy's body in mid December. Lawyers for the woman insist she was not involved in her son's death, and will fight any charges. A police spokes... What did you get? Ah, massaman beef, green curry and golden parcels. Yum. Do you want to get started on the mortgage papers? We should eat first, yeah? Good idea. Where's eva? Eva? Jeez, not again. Eva? I'll have a look. Come on, shug? Hi. Hello. Hot. Yeah. Um, dad's inside. Mum too. Ok. But I'm glad to catch you. Better get these iceblocks inside. This won't take long. Had us all quite worried that day you disappeared. I told mum I was sorry. Where'd you go? Streets around Uncle Malcolm's. I spoke to a bus driver. Apparently a girl who looked a lot like you caught a bus out here that afternoon. So? So it wasn't you? No. I really gotta go. Your father was quite desperate to find you. He thought ms murnane may have harmed you. She killed thom. He broke in, which was wrong, searching her house for you. We found the jacket there. I saw the news. Before he went over, I was talking to him on the phone. So? But he didn't hang up the phone. We had to scrub the audio. At first, it was quite feint. Dad? Dad? Dad? You came back, and you put the jacket in ms murnane's laundry. 1:16 pm. Resuming interview with eva gundelach. Now, eva, I'm going to read back over what you said before lunch about the death of thom murnane. Do you understand? Anything I say that is in correct, please stop me and tell me. You said, "it happened the night mum and dad fought. They'd fought before, but this time was different. It was loud and I went to listen. I heard mum saying she wanted to leave dad. I'm not going to tell you who it was! Ok, you promise me you won't say. Tell me who it was. It was Jess. Jess? Jess murnane? You said you wanted to know. "I couldn't let mum and dad break up. Couldn't let Jess murnane ruin our family. I had to make her leave the street. She wouldn't stay without her boy. " If Jess didn't have thom anymore, she'd go, and leave dad alone. "I waited till dad got home. He went to the door and he came back home. He came back inside and I waited for him to go to bed. "I had a key because Tash used to babysit for Jess." Hey, thom. Thom. Wanna see something? It's raining. It's ok. Put your gumboots on. Hurry up. "The jacket was just there." Let's go. "And I took him up the track." Why? 'Cause. That's the way of the river. I wanted to put him in the river "but we didn't get to the jetty. He didn't like the rain when it got heavy." I wanna go home. Come on, don't you want to see the fish? I want to go home. Come on, we're almost there! Thom! Mummy! Thom! Thom! Get back here! Thom! Mummy! Mummy! Mummy! "So I hit him. I hit him on the head with a torch." I had to, to make him quiet. "And then I didn't know what to do. He was too heavy. It was too far to the river. So I left him. Things kept going bad when I got back to our street. His mum was already looking for him. Thom! Thom? "So I went behind mrs Bailey's house, where dad found that weird guy. That's where I had to leave the jacket." Christy. Christy? Ben! Where's the phone? I thought dad would still be asleep. Must have been right behind me. "Things kept going wrong. I went back for the jacket it was gone. And then I found out you were looking for a torch, so I thought if I put dad's torch back, you'd leave him alone. On Christmas day, I heard dad get up early. I followed him up to mrs Bailey's house and I found the jacket there. " That weird man must have taken it. "All I had to do was put it back in her house. " Now "her", meaning ms murnane? But mum mum made it hard. "I just wanted us to have a normal Christmas." But it wasn't. "I came back with Tash, but then she came over." We'd only been gone a day, and she was already after dad. Thom was gone. We'd gone. But she was still there. "I took a bus from Uncle Malcolm's, I got the jacket, and I waited." Eva? After that, I waited in my cubby. When I got back home, dad wasn't there. Dad? You know, you should have listened to dad when he said he didn't do it. Is there anything else you'd like to tell me? I'm sorry.. None of this would have happened if I just got thom to the river. Mrs gundelach, this is your copy for you to sign, as guardian. It's alright, mum. Everything's gonna be alright. No, it's not. It's not... Eva abigail gundelach, I'm arresting you for the murder of thom murnane. You'll be taken to the watch house, charged, and arrangements will be made immediately. You'll report before the children's court. I'm not sure what the magistrate will decide for eva. Mr gundelach? Take care. (CLOCK TICKING) (BRUSH TAPPING) - (POUNDING) - MAN: Dude! (POUNDING CONTINUES) Yeah, don't get up. I got it, bro. (DOOR SLAMS) Wow. Damn, Finn. This must be your best one yet. How long you been workin' on this? Like two, three weeks? Fuck off. I don't go to the bar and complain when it takes you 10 minutes to make a martini. (PHONE RINGS) I'm perfectly happy with where I'm at. I just hit a little creative block. That's all. (BEEPS) Hello? Oh, hi, Mrs. Anderson. Why, yes. The building manager's right here. Oh, I'm sure he'd be delighted to come over and fix your toilet. He's givin' me the thumbs up right now. He'll be over in a second. (BEEPS) You were saying something, right? About you being perfectly happy with where you're at in life? Hello. (CLEARS THROAT) Well, he said he was thinking of going to art school. And I said, "Oh, what a coincidence! Our building manager used to be a painter." (CHUCKLES) When you're 18, everybody wants to be an artist. - Shh! - FINN: Where did you get that? Garage sale. So weird. I'm seeing- I'm seeing... seashells. Outlaw, Rambling Rose, Crab Apple. Crabs live in the fucking ocean, right? Yes, they do. Crab Apple. I'm betting on Crab Apple. Hello, my lost boys. - New sweater. - New for me. It's a thrift store find. You like it? Oh, uh, I had a little left over, so I got these for you, babe. It's the right kind. Camel hair, right? Thank you. Did you get a new journal? Oh, I knew how much you wanted them, so I couldn't resist. (KISSES) Okay, uh, I'm going to go start dinner. Do you guys want your favorite, lasagna? (VIDEO GAMES) (EXPLOSIONS) (DOOR CREAKS) (GRUNTS) Need some help? Hey, Big Joe. Yes, I do. Thank you. (PANTING) (BELL RINGS) (MAN SPEAKING RAPIDLY) MAN: Eight is really gettin' taken-Come on. Come on. Come on. That's it. That's it. Come on. You got this. Keep fuckin' running. Let's go. Come on. Come on. What's up? Uh, hey, Big Ben. Come on. Uh, it's Joe. Crab Apple. Crab Apple. Come on, you little bastard! Run! Ah, come on! Run! Come on! Fuck, man! Chill out. WOMAN: Hey, Finn, the landlord called. Mr. Bezzerides's rent is late. M-Maybe he fell, and he can't get up. Eh, he's been late before. Oh, the man across the way? Yeah. I noticed a couple of parking tickets on his car. I guess he's got a couple parking tickets on his car, so maybe we should check on him. And I also invited Big Joe to stop by the party. Okay, but I hope he doesn't wear that tacky rent-a-cop uniform. I thought we were just inviting close friends. Yeah, uh, well, Big Joe's really cool. And he's helping me with the chairs. He's standing here right now. Don't worry. I own other outfits. I'm sorry. I'm just gonna... go check on Mr. Bezzerides. Okay then. Hey, Mr. Bezzerides, are you home? Everyone's kinda worried about you, so I'm going to go ahead and come inside, okay? Mr. Bezzerides? (GROWLING) (LOUD CLANKING) It was a sure thing. No, it obviously wasn't a sure thing. He lost, Jasper. No, he was a sure thing up until the moment he lost. That makes zero sense. (DOOR OPENS) What the fuck? These are shots of our living room. (CHUCKLES) Mr. "Bitch-arabies" is a peeping tom. Yeah, I though that, too, but why take photos of our empty living room? Looks like he saved the best ones for his private collection. What is this thing? I-I think it's a camera. See? Cripes. You think he got enough film? Hmm. WOMAN: What? Do I even want to know? When did we knock over the coat rack? Maybe it was that night we played drunk charades. You remember. No, he doesn't remember 'cause he passed out on the couch. Well, I guess this explains the green light we see over here sometimes. Yeah, but why is this thing bolted to the floor? I don't know, but I don't like it. I don't like the sound it's making either. Uh, or how about the half-naked photos of me on the wall? That's the one thing I do like about this situation. (SIGHS) I knew something wasn't right about that old man. Hi, Mr. Kendall, this is Finn from Sycamore Apartments. I'm calling you back about Mr. Bezzerides. If you can please ring me when you get a chance, that would be great. Thank you. What did the landlord say? I just left a voice mail. Okay. I'm off to work. I counted the cookies, so if any go missing, there will be murder in this apartment. I'll guard 'em. Well, who's going to guard 'em from you? (GASPS) (SCOFFS) it's a perfect match. It's got to be a coincidence. FINN: Maybe. Or- Or what? The camera took a picture ahead of time? (SCOFFS) Give me a break. I mean, just look at it. The placement of everything, my canvass. Your canvass has looked like that for months. (WHIRRING) Uh, hey, guys. (CAMERA CLICKS, WHIRRINGS) (BULB POPS) (WINDS DOWN) No way. WOMAN: Oh, my God. This was last Wednesday. Remember you broke the mug with your four-iron? Oh, yeah, right. Thursday. Friday we went to the movies. Saturday we lost power, used candles. Sunday. Monday. That's tonight, Tuesday. Tomorrow. Bullshit. Mr. "B" invented a camera that takes pictures of the future, and he only used it to look in our apartment? Doesn't make any sense. Well, maybe he's testing it. Yeah, and this thing isn't exactly portable. Well, he's a scientist, so there's got to be some sort of logs or documentation somewhere. Just start looking. Will you guys listen to yourselves? All right. Come on out, Mr. I know you're fucking in here in the walls or something, laughing your ass off! The jig's up! Come on out, asshole! WOMAN: I don't think he's going to answer. Why? "November 27. Results today: Positive function. The machine continues to work perfectly. However, I've seen something in the future that is disturbing to my core. I believe I've seen my death. I know the cardinal rule of time and causality... is that one should not attempt to change the future. But under these circumstances, it seems to be a risk worth taking. If I believed in God, I would pray today that no greater harm will come from what I'm about to do." Then what? Nothing. That's the last entry, a week ago today. A week ago. Seven photos. That means it was kicking it out after he disappeared. So it must be on a timer. 8200 PM. Then why are there so many daytime ones? Maybe it's only been taking ones at night for the last week. All right. Even I have to admit this photo is a little fucking unsettling. FINN: I think I know where he might be. (KEYS JINGLING) JASPER: Christ. What's he keeping in here? FINN: I don't know. Him and the previous manager added this door years ago. God, please, oh, please, don't let him be in there. There's no way. If there was a dead body in there, we'd be able to smell it. (GASPS) Oh, God. What? Is he in there? Oh, my God. Close it, close it. What happened to him? It looked like he was burned. Yeah, I don't know about that. Did you see his suit? It was fine. It wasn't even touched. Isn't it obvious? I mean, you read his journal. He broke the cardinal rule. You don't fuck with time. Jasper, please take his hat off. It's my thinking cap. What the hell is there to think about? We need to call the police, guys. Hang on. That could be a big mistake. What do you mean? I mean, we just discovered a fucking time-traveling camera! We need to consider the possibilities. Well, one possibility is we've all been dosed with lethal amounts of radiation... that, you know, could've killed Mr. Okay, Negative Nancy, but what if we could use this thing? How? Remember how Mr. "B" took a photo of himself holding that sign? What if we put up, like, the newspaper? We would know what happens in the future. Yeah, the newspaper, Jasper? What are you thinking? Arts and Entertainment? - Or are you thinking the race results? - Oh. Well, what if? Think about how much money we could make. Callie, I foretell that tonight is your last night waiting tables. And instead, you can pursue writing full time. Callie? No! Absolutely not! We're calling the police. Finn, I foretell that you live the rest of your life in pathetic obscurity... and die penniless and insane. - I'm serious, Jasper. - So am I. Does it look like the cops are here? That people are buzzing about the charred corpse in the storage unit? Everything looks fine. If we reported it, we probably wouldn't have had the party anyway. We'd have canceled it altogether. Uh, we can't cancel it. It's Dave and Sharon's engagement party. That's what I'm saying. Obviously, we don't report it tonight. There is a dead fucking st-rotting corpse in the storage unit. You can't smell anything as long as we keep the door closed. Wow. It's been down there a week. What's one more day? Uh-uh. Look. We let the party happen, we look at tomorrow's photo... and if it shows the cops taking our testimony and shit, I'll call 'em myself. I have to admit. I am kind of curious to see one more photo. All right. Fine. One day. But... one day. (MUSIC) - What time is it? - Twenty till. Well, just in case tomorrow's photo shows the end of the world- (INHALES) I'm going to enjoy myself. Do you want to dance? And he adopts his classic glazed-over look. What? (CROWD CHEERING) (MUSIC) (LARGE CAMERA WHIRRS) (BULB POPS, WINDS DOWN) Hmm. You son of a bitch. (MUSIC) Guys! Guys! I'm a fucking genius. I know, but look at that painting. Holy shit! I know. I mean, the camera sees my work before I do it. It's just incredible. I don't have to be blocked anymore! (GROANS) (GRUNTS) I'm in. (CHUCKLES) Yes! Yes. (CHUCKLES) (HOWLS) (SIGHS) (GLASS CLINKS) You're up early. What time is it? How about we start with what year is it? Oh, so you can write in a dead man's journal, but I'm not allowed to wear his hat? This isn't poetry, Jasper, I'm making our to-do list. If we're really going through with this, we need to start making it look like Mr. B's still around. I mean, this is actually happening? What are you talking about, bro? It already happened. It's done. Well, I mean, we could just not go through with it. Actually, I think we have to. If I understand this correctly, this is how it works. The camera spits out a photo of us in the future. Then we go about our day making a series of decisions that lead up until that moment. But if we deviate from those decisions, then this photo never happened. Which means "us," the people who saw the original photo, can't go forward. Because our futures don't exist anymore. Um, what do you mean "can't go forward"? I mean, are we 100% sure that's how he died? No, but do you really want to test it and find out? So it's agreed then. We got to do what's in the photo. (SIGHS) Okay, all right, fine. We have to do this tonight. But we're talking about not reporting a dead body. I'm pretty sure if anybody found out, Jasper, that's jail time. Okay, but nobody's going to find out. I-I was over there this morning to make a list. All we have to do is bring in his newspapers, water the plants. We should probably move his car so it doesn't get any more tickets. Um, I found a couple pieces of mail. Maybe a couple bills, so I should probably post them. (SIGHS) Well, you seem to have everything figured out. Dude. Just relax, man. - The risk is so minimal, it's almost nonexistent. - (SCOFFS) All we have to do is make sure that storage unit door stays closed, and... we become rich. And you get your paintings. Yeah. Come on. Come on. Come on, Bobcat! Fuck, yes! Fuck, yes! (GRUNTS) (ENGINE STARTS) (CLOCK TICKING) FINN: All right, let's go. It's almost 8:00. CALLIE: Do we have to be exactly as we were? I don't want to change anything. (EXHALES) I don't know. Is this right? Just smile and say good-bye to your day jobs, guys. I mean, we can check the photo. It's right there. (PHONE RINGING) (RINGING CONTINUES) (RINGING CONTINUES) (ANSWERING MACHINE CLICKS, BEEPS) WOMAN: Henry? Henry, are you there? It's Joyce. I received your letter. C-Could you check in please when you have time? I truly hope you're okay. (CLICKS) Hey, Finn! Hey, Joe. How's it going? Hey, what's going on with the old man? I see Callie coming around here in the mornings. Yeah? Yeah. Uh, he's sick in the hospital. We just come by to water his plants and look after the place for him. Hospital? Is it serious? Uh, yeah, it's pretty serious. They're still trying to figure out what he has. Damn. (SIGHS) It's good you guys are looking after the place. Yeah. I mean, we don't mind, so- (CLEARS THROAT) But I better get back to it. No, dude. We're over here tonight because we're not in the photo from last night. It's that simple. Well, it's not like fate decided it. Presumably, we made decisions yesterday that made us end up here today. All right, my brain just kinda melted a bit. What was the original question? The question is, if you could choose something to show up in the next photo, anything, what would you choose to see? I'm a little ashamed at how good it felt to buy this dress. Back to the question. Easy. I want a pile of money so big that I'm fuckin' buried in it. You are so predictable. Me? What about you? We all know what you wanna see most. A rock. (SCOFFS) So you and Finn don't have to keep living in sin. Whatever. - You hear that, Finn? - What? You're off the hook. Oh, he's just daydreaming about two paintings a day instead of one. Well, I don't know. Just give a guy a second here. I need to think. (WHIRRING, CLICKING) Ah, I never get tired of that sound. (BULB POPS, WHIRRS) Finn. All right, come on, guys. It's not like I want to do this. Okay, then let's not do it! Uh, do I need to remind you about the roasted dead guy in our basement? We got to do what's in the photo, right, bro? How the hell did this happen? I don't know. Maybe it's a fucking dare. - Maybe we're drunk. - Maybe it was an accident. It's a fucking lip lock. We didn't just bump into each other. Say something, Finn. We should destroy that machine. What? We can't do that. I know. It's too late. It doesn't matter why we do this. For all intents and purposes, it already happened. (INHALES) I mean... I'm in the room. I don't look mad or pissed. (CLEARS THROAT) The painting's coming out great. Yeah. The painting's coming out great. You probably asked us to do it for inspiration or something. We're all friends. And we just need to trust that it's going to be okay. Fuck! What the fuck was that for? (SIGHS) That's for kissing my girlfriend tomorrow. T-minus one hour, in case you were wondering. Please, stop counting down like it's a fucking shuttle launch. - Sorry. - JASPER: Yeah, yeah. I told you Crab Apple was a sure thing. He just needed a few more races. Let's roll half the winnings into tomorrow's bets, and I'll come pick up the rest. Uh-huh. Okay, yeah. Um, let me just get something to write on. I thought there wasn't a bottle in the photo. That's because it was down here. What time is it, babe? Finn, you okay? Yeah, uh, no. It's this part of the painting-it's unfinished. I'm clearly about to paint it. I just have no idea what element goes there. Okay, Michelangelo, but we have to close our eyes to match the photo. So you're the timekeeper. Well- (SCOFFS) Yeah, dude, it's 7:59. Just go ahead. Well, how long do we do it for? 10, 15 seconds? I'll tell you when to stop. Just go. (EXHALES) I'll be thinking about my boyfriend. Sweet. Threesome. (SCOFFS) Come here, asshole. (GASPS) Oh! Of course. Oh, geez, did you guys- Hey! (GASPS) (DOOR SLAMS) Shit. - Finn. - Go get Jasper. I just wanted to- Go get Jasper! - Finn, I'm sorry. - Who is this? That's my bookie. Ivan. The guy you're always talking on the phone to? What is he doing in the apartment? - I don't know. - Is that normal? Have you ever seen him in our apartment before? No. It's not fucking normal. Did you tell him about the camera? No. - Were you planning on it? - No, never! Then what the fuck is he doing in the apartment? I said I don't know! Okay, is he dangerous? Well, he takes bets from shady assholes like me. So, yeah, he's dangerous. But... I don't see Marcus here. That's his goon. If I were in trouble, he'd be in this photo. Well, what if he's sitting over here? Out of view? (CHEWING) I was up early this morning, and I heard him moving around in his room. He came out about an hour ago. Hasn't said a word. I don't know what those red pills are, but he's taken at least two of them already. (SIGHS) Can you guys shut up for a sec? (DIALS) (BEEPS) MAN: Yeah? Hey, Ivan, it's Jasper. I know. How's it going? What? Uh, is everything okay today? Why wouldn't it be? No reason. So, what do you want to lay down today? Uh, no. No bets. I'm just going to cool it today. Thanks. So why did you call me? Uh, shit. I got to go, Ivan. I'll talk to you later. So what does that mean? It means we wait 10 hours, figure out what the hell's happening. Babe, can we talk? (SIGHS) MAN: ♪ Spider ♪ "♪I am a sniper." ♪ Waiting to spring ♪ Hey, Ivan. What a surprise. I was wondering why you showed up tonight, and then it occurred to me. It's probably 'cause I called you like a paranoid fucking idiot. (HITS WALL) Hey, Ivan. What a surprise. What are you doing? He's going to be here soon. You can't leave me alone. Well, I'm not in the picture, so, send me a text message when it's done? Well, I- I'm not in the photo either, so... maybe I should leave too? Where are you going? I don't know yet. Can I come? You guys are unbelievable. Real friends you turned out to be. Well, we got to do what's in the photo. Right, bro? Where we going? Nowhere. I don't want to abandon Jasper in case something goes wrong. Are we okay? I got jealous. This is a- it's a very complicated situation. You're doing your best. And I, obviously, am- I'm not handling it well. (SIGHS) You got jealous? (EXHALES) Tell me more. So, Ivan, I mean, what a surprise. You said that already. Oh, yeah. Uh, can I get you something to drink? You know what I like about you, Jasper? You never welched on a bet. I have never had to send Marcus over here to collect. And I can appreciate that. I can. Is that yours? You mind if I see it? (CHUCKLES) Come on. Let me see it. That's a nice one. Yeah. That takes me back. Believe it or not, I used to have Marcus's job. I wasn't a bad enforcer. I had my own style. You know, I used warm-up bats. They gave me a little extra "pop." Yeah. (CHUCKLES) There was this one time- God Almighty- I was supposed to "kneecap" a guy. Standard boilerplate stuff. I'd done it a hundred times, right? Only this time, I take a swing, I hit him-Bam! And the bat breaks. It sends a sliver of wood right into the guy's junk. Oh! (CHUCKLES) You should have heard him. He was screaming like a cat. I swear to God, as I heard the paramedics take him away- They said that one of his testicles had swollen to the size of a grapefruit. You imagine that? That pain? (SCOFFS) (SIGHS) Messy. Messy, unfortunate work. In my position, there's only one thing worse than a guy who can't make good on bets. And that's a guy who never loses bets. (CLOCK TICKING) I-I'm just finally getting lucky, I guess. Just lucky. You guess. Listen! There's no fix, okay? Is it an owner? Huh? No! I swear! Fuck, it was just a streak, okay? Look, okay, okay! I have a source! I have a source. It's reliable. I can't explain it. It could cause some serious problems. Was it a doctor? Tell me what they're doing to bring in the fix! No, it- it's nothing like that. Look, you wouldn't believe me if I told you. Bullshit. (GRUNTING) Can't you just ride my bets? Yeah. Just make the same bets I do and-I know what "ride" means. (DOOR UNLOCKS) You are such a piece of shit. I hope you enjoyed the peep show, Jasper! I'll... take that. - Finn, this is- - IVAN: I was just leaving. So... are we good? So- (SIGHS) He basically knows. He doesn't know jack shit. FINN: Well, he knows that you have some kind of information. How long is he going to be content just piggybacking your bets? I don't know. Forever? I got it under control. You look like hell, Jasper. Are you even sleeping? You know what, man? Get off my dick! You and Callie both get all this money for doing nothing. - You should be happy. - We're all in this. Callie and I are sharing the risk. I hope you have a back-up plan in case this thing with your bookie falls through. I seem to remember you wearing something a little different in tonight's photo. Screw you, Jasper. I'm not going to start as long as he's here. Yeah, no, Jasper was just about to take a walk. Aren't you? I am? Yeah. Yes, don't forget to come spy on me at 8:00. (DOOR CLOSES) (SIGHS) So I don't really know what I'm doing here. You're going to have to walk me through it. Sure. Um, we just need to get you in the same pose in the photo. And then I- I do the rest. You know, I'd really like to know how you got me to do this. You and I both. What are you thinking? You're just- You're really- You're very beautiful. Don't sound so surprised. (SCOFFS) No. No, I guess it takes a moment like this to wake a guy up, so he can actually see what's right in front of him. That's our cue. (GASPS) (LIGHTER FLICKS) IVAN: it's amazing. Even hazy and out of focus, you can still recognize your own silhouette. I wondered all day- How? How is this possible? So, Marcus here is going to babysit. And you- You're going to take me to see what's over there. (IVAN CHUCKLES) I would not have believed you if you'd told me. Kicks them out every night at 8:00. Yeah. What about the daytime ones? I don't know. Since we found it, it's only been doing 'em at night. What's this? Uh, it's- it's the newest one. Okay- Okay- Here's the deal. Every day you're going to take this photo. And you're going to write down the stats that go on the window tomorrow. Marcus is gonna come by and pick up the photo for safekeeping. Wait-Wait a second. I am not going to repeat myself! The three of you are going to sit right there, just like that on the couch so I know you're behaving. And you tell no one about this. We wouldn't want anyone messing with our little golden goose here, huh? Now, would we? I want 50%. (CHUCKLES) You take a zero off that number. That still makes you a very lucky man. Yeah, I feel real lucky. We didn't agree to this. (SIGHS) You should have talked to us, man. I did my best, okay? Don't sit on the car. Listen, this isn't the city. They're a different breed of snob up here. It's academia. Academia nuts. (LAUGHS) I fail to understand the distinction. Yeah, I do, too, sometimes. It's been really awful. I consider you my good friend. I appreciate that. But you'll soon find how little that counts for. I'm not referring to myself. But there's a lot of assholes out there. Less up here than in the city, but it's all relative. You say it yourself. You don't see anybody. You have no friendships. And you have ruined every relationship in which you ever could have found meaning. Who? Huh? Associates? Sycophants? Who the fuck needs pissants like that? Good riddance. Me, Mom. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, as usual. Why do you assume that she never talked to me? Oh, I'm sure she was only too eager to fill your head with some inane, fictitious bullshit. But one thing I know for a fact, you only got one version of events told from the perspective of a very sad, very lonely, pathetic woman. You insult again. This is my mother you're talking about. And? Go on. You talk about her like she's some leech that sucked you dry. Yeah, well, she would have done, given half the chance. Her and everyone else. You know, she is my biggest regret, hmm? The strongest and saddest proof that you cannot change anyone, and that your first instinct about them will always be right. Yeah, well, that just proves that you yourself can't be changed, either. Yeah, well, much to my chagrin, I prove my own point. I always try to lead by example... To show everyone how I can put aside preconceptions and find new feelings, new ideas. But the innate ineffability of human disappointment overcomes my faith every time. So when you belittle me... Belittle you? I didn't even fucking say anything to you. Yes! Belittle me! What are you talking about? For my self-made disconnect from those who wanted nothing from me but to further their own petty feelings of self-delusion. Then you reinforce the degree to which I saved myself from future disappointment by cutting myself off to the extent that I did! Do you hear yourself? NARRATOR: The emotions whicharosefromhis spectacularconfrontation withhisdaughterenraged andexcitedIkeinsuch away asheno longerfeltpossible. Philip'sunbridledrespect andreverenceforhis idol, compoundedwithhisyouthful senseofrageand entitlement, hadforcedunwanted introspectionuponIke. Andwhathe saw wasa shamefully complacentoldman, whohadlongsince givenuptheforcefulness thathadoncemotivatedhimto createsomeof hisbestwork . (CAR ENGINE STARTS) Theautumnmonthshad broughtaboutan overwhelming senseofshameinIke, ashetriedand failed toputoutofhismind thevigoranddissatisfaction thatoncedrove himtosucceed, replacedwithfrustration, self-pityanddisappointment. (TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING) IKE: And of course, the frustrating thing is to want to focus your energies on something that, well, at this point in my life, should be something of an opus. A culmination. Right Could we swap seats? I don't feel right sitting here. I'd rather not sit in a pupil's chair in my own office. We can both sit over there, or we can both stand. (SIGHS) I've had years of this shit. How long did yours take? Something like two years apiece. Oh, God, I used to be faster than that. Two years would be humiliating for me... (CHUCKLES) Well, for anyone. I didn't mean it like that, but you get the idea. (EXHALES) This could be so big for me. Instead, I'm suffering here. More than you could know or I could possibly explain. I just don't see anything clearly. I'm trying to do my best here. Oh, fuck it. I should have this figured out by now. Well, thank you for listening to the sentimental, and frustrated, ramblings of an old man. You've done a lot for me. I didn't do much. No. But your work did. That's true. Bonjour,Yvette. Ca va ? She's Yvette? Yeah. NARRATOR: YvetteDussartwasentering herthirdyearonthefaculty whenshewasinformed thata young,newlysuccessful authorfromthecity wouldbejoining theEnglishdepartment, whichshetookasa personal attackonherterritory, asitrelievedher ofthetitleofyoungest facultymember, adistinctionfromwhich shederivedno small amountofsatisfaction. PhilipandYvette wereonlyaboutthree yearsapartin age. (SPEAKING IN FRENCH) NARRATOR: Prior to his arrivalandintroduction... Yvettehaddecidedtoact unkindtowardshim, andwasabletoconvince severalotherfacultymembers that,infact,anovelistwith noteachingexperience didnotbelong amongtheirranks, acunningmovethat createdanenvironment oftensionandhostility beforePhilipappeared forwhatbecame anincreasingly-painful, andhumiliating orientationprocess. Theresultof herscheming wasimmediateandtotal isolationforPhilip, whoroutinelyfoundhimself withnothingmoretodo thanretreatto hissmall, sadapartmenteverynight, wherehemadeaconcerted efforttodevotehimselffully tohiswriting,and todoing asgoodajob teaching aspossible. I wonder what type of style we should be working on for these exercises. I'm not sure I can answer that question. In fact, I'm certain I cannot. I don't have a very academic relationship with form or style. So... What is your advice? The best thing I can offer is what I do, which is to kinda goof around until you find what works. Besides, in my experience, more than half of you will probably abandon writing, creative or the other kind, very shortly after graduating. If you haven't already. I'm thinking of a few of you specifically when I say that last part. Hey, hey. Are you at all qualified to be teachin'? I never use the word "teach." I always say "instruct." Nice try. You've made it a point to turn others against me, and I don't understand why. I've not. You have. And as a result, I'm sad and alone... And I don't like it here. Hello. Hi. I read Obidant. I really liked it. I didn't realize it had come out already. About two weeks ago. Huh. Listen, it's nothing personal, but... I'm really trying to do my best up here, and part of that means not getting involved with anybody in, say, a human way. So if you'd like, you could come visit me at my office. This is not my office. (INDISTINCT CHATTER) Please don't act like somebody who doesn't know how to handle themselves. I don't know what you mean. Act as though you attend these things all the time. How? Feel like you don't want to be here. Like me. See how little I wanna be here? But I very much want to be here. Oh, Jonathan. Are you proud of me? In what way? Never mind. JONATHAN: You seem to have a decent situation here. This place is just fine. Yeah. You do not need to look away every time you see me. This is your father that I saw you with earlier? He's my uncle. Mononcle. Like the film. You look sad with him. I don't think you're saying what you think you are. I meant to say... When with him, it makes you look as though you are not happy. Oh. I guess that's pretty much what you said the first time. Why this is? Your own family makes you unhappy? I feel uncomfortable talking to you like this. Why? Because we don't like each other. Or you don't like me. It's not like that. I mean... Okay, it's true that I am upset that I study for years to obtain a teaching degree, and you... You just publish two slim novels and get a job many would murder for. I, however, think it is possible we could be friendly together. You encouraged the faculty to turn on me. Nobody likes me here. Nobody ever talks to me. We like it here. We have family and community. And you've just come here with your new novel and turned them against yourself with your arrogance and ego. You are to blame nobody but yourself for these things. I don't know how to process that. I'm not sure how quickly I can absolve you of wrongdoing and shoulder the blame myself. I'd like to go elsewhere and talk. Speak with you more. Just not standing here, outside. Okay. Just not back in there. Hello. I've thought it best for my students not to ever see me out of class. So what do you do at night? I stay home. I read and I think. It will make my life harder if people see me differently. Does that make sense? But you want only to be thought of as a talented writer and not as a real person? Hmm, yeah. Yeah. That's probably about right. In fact, that's exactly right. (SPEAKING IN FRENCH) Thank you. All right. Be a good boy. Give me a call, okay? Yeah. I never had a weekend on campus where I went to school. I can't really quite adjust. Last night your uncle and then me... It's your first real conversation since you arrived here? Conversation that take place on or around campus and was substantial? Yes. Wow. You must be really lonely. Can't see your eyes in that hat. That's better. Where are you going? Are your office hours over? For the time being. Also they're for people in classes I teach. That's not you, is it? No, but I was hoping... No, it's urgent. So today we'll be learning about the Romantic period, and the impact of the French Revolution, such as Jean-Jacques Rousseau and... William Godwin and... Did anyone read it? We'll be also talking about the... (CHUCKLES) Romantic themes. Sorry, the cult of sensibility, emphasizing... Sorry, what were we talking about? Well, this is the most amount of visitors I've ever seen during a single session. And on a Friday, no less. What a world. One second. (THUDDING) Come right in. When I was in school, I never went to these things, so... I tend to forget about them. That's okay. I was hoping we could discuss my story. Right. Which I read. I think the perspective was very clear. And, also, I should say that... What was the title of it again? I'll be honest. That's not the main reason I'm here. Thank God, because honestly, I don't even think I've read yours yet. Or any of them, for that matter, so don't be offended. I was hoping you could provide me with a letter of recommendation for an internship I'm pursuing at Paragon Press. Okay. Is that not possible? Look, I'll say this, and then we can proceed accordingly. Number one, internships are a waste of time, so you shouldn't bother. Two, that company sucks, and you wouldn't gain any worthwhile experience there. And three, I don't actually think that I know you very well... Or at all, now that I think about it. So I wouldn't be the best person to sing your praises. Where does that leave us on the whole letter of recommendation tip? I think they can be somewhat generic. It's kind of a formality anyway. Nah. Does your publisher have an internship program? To be honest with you, I have no idea. I'm not thinking about this right now. Here's a piece of paper with some staples in it. Wish I could be of more help. NARRATOR: Thesemesterdrewtoa close, andanimpendingsense ofmelancholyandlonging developedwithinPhilip, asthepromise offacingAshleyagain becamelessof anabstractionandmore ofa loomingcertainty. Anticipatingthis, andunableto process hisfeelingsverbally, Philipwroteandmailedher aletter,whichread, PHILIP: "Ifindmyselfalone againandagain, "andI 'veabandonedhope thatthisis something thatcanor willchange. "Iwouldextendmyapologies forneglectingto phone, "wereI notcertainthat theywouldbe rejected. "Iofferthehonestyet invented-soundingexplanation "thathearingyourvoice oranythingabout yourcurrentlife "wouldcompound myalreadyoverwhelming senseofisolationand regret "ina wayIwould considercrippling. "Myreturndateisset forDecemberthe15th. "Ilookforwardtoseeing whattypeof person Ifeellikebythen ." NARRATOR: Theletterwassigned simply," P." Shethrewit awaywithout everopeningtheenvelope. Justunderfourweekshad passedsincePhiliphad last attemptedtocontactAshley, andhislettershad startedbeingreturned. Theperiodfollowing hiscollectionof midtermassignments andleadingup toThanksgiving, foundPhilipat longlast adjustingtohistemporary lifeatthecollege. Nolongerfightingagainst hissituationandfinally atpeacewithit, hehadnoticedhimself makingfriendswherethere beforehadbeennone, andexperiencing feelingsandemotions hehadstudiously blockedoutfromAugust throughlateOctober. Theresultof whichwas histransformationinto atolerableperson forwhomthefaculty begantocare, tosaynothingof theaddedbenefitof winningYvette'saffections, agoalof hissince hefirstconvincedhimself oftheextenttowhich shedislikedhim. I don't know what you want me to tell you. You know what I want you to tell me. Oh, the situation is becoming really irritating. I have a life somewhere. Or had one. I'm not sure which. It's probably not even there anymore. Then forget it. And come back home with me for the holiday break. I have nothing to do when I get back. Also I have nowhere to live. I don't work here permanently. Only you do. I'm sure you can get one more semester of work. Hang on while I put my head in this sweater. Keep going. It is possible. A lot that would need to change for that to happen. Are we still going to Ike's for Thanksgiving? What are we bringing? Really? Yeah. You know what? Why don't you stay at your own apartment tonight? My apartment is sad and has improper heating, which you know because we're standing in it right now. So you don't want to be trapped by academia. There are some people over there who I wish I could still call my colleagues. They didn't want this life for themselves. I told this to our boy here. You know, you have to be very careful. Don't believe too strongly the structures they put in front of you. This is good advice. For you more so than him, though. Excuse me. (WHISTLES QUIETLY) You seem ill equipped to deal with someone like that. We began by hating one another. I think we're coming back down the other side now. That's a very potent image. You should write it down and use it. I came up with it on the silent, excruciating drive over here. I'm glad you approve. Oh, I do, indeed. I should go check on her. Excuse me. I think you're being rude to Ike. I'm glad his feelings are so important. I think I need to leave. You said you wanted to meet him. Besides we just got here. Why don't you leave me alone? My uncle, who you saw in passing, raised me because both of my parents were killed in a car accident. Why are you telling me this? Because I want you to contextualize my sadness. Put whatever you're going through into perspective. My mom was pregnant at the time. Seven months. I was on the news. I'm telling you this to hurt you right now, because you're trying to make me feel bad, horrible even, which I don't appreciate. But I never will... Because nothing ever feels bad once you learn what that emotion is capable of. Now let's not make a big deal about it. I usually don't... But you really forced my hand on this. Do you know that expression? "Forced my hand"? It's one of my favorites. She seems difficult. She is. Very. Well, you're putting her in an ugly situation. What with you trying to have two girlfriends. That's a tawdry way to phrase it. (IKE CHUCKLES) You have one living in a house that you share with her in the city and another one up here that you're living with. Yeah, I can see the appeal. I practically invented it. But I did it better than you. Nobody hated me then. I could enjoy it. Until later, of course, when it all came crashing down. But by then, I had my escape all planned. You haven't put enough thought into something as delicate as this. Ever since I was a teenager, I wanted to fall in love with a French girl. (IKE LAUGHS) I'm proud of you, boy. You'll find yourself referring to this experience often when you opt to pull your head out of your own ass and get back to work. Can you offer any suggestions about what I should do until then? Well, I could. But this really belongs to you. You'll find a solution. I gave you the '25, by the way. Oh, thank you. The way I see it, you have two possible scenarios. Either you abscond to France with a girl you just met three months ago, thus becoming a cliche, leaving the city in disgrace and your former life in shambles, or you'll return to your kind, successful, tolerant, and probably very attractive girlfriend in the city. Immerse yourself in work, and become miserable for eternity. Two fine options, as far as you're concerned. You're lucky to have them already, at your age. You're a good friend, Ike. It's an honor to say that I know you. Don't make yourself any more miserable than you need to be. Leave that to the women you love. That's what they're pretty much there for. In my experience. I believe that I'll need to return home to the city at some point. It's highly likely that I'll realize I made a huge error, at which point I might try to return to this place to see if you'd ever still care about me. I'm fairly certain that what I just said is exactly what's gonna happen. I can't believe you still think that's your decision to make. Just trying stuff out to see what the right thing to do is. Thank you. NARRATOR: Philipleftthecollege muchashe arrived, aloneanddevoidof meaningfulconnections withanybodyelse. Histimespenttherewould cometobe regarded asadequate bytheadministration, whosubsequently invitedhimback, anofferwhichhewould repeatedlydecline, untilheheardseveralyears laterthatYvettehad gotten atenurejobatanother schoolfurthernorth. Heeventuallyreturnedto teachseveralmoresemesters atincreasingly-irregular intervalsasthepublication ofhisworkallowed. (CAR STARTS) (LOCK JIGGLES) (BUZZES) My key is broken. You don't live here anymore. Hereturnedhometothecity andwasrefused decencybyAshley, whohadmadethe decisionthatPhilip wouldnotbe allowed toreentereither herhomeor herlife, havingcometo therealization thatshewouldnolonger investinsomebody whowouldroutinely causeherto feelterrible. Withoutsomuchasnoticing, Philiphadlapsedinto hisusualpattern ofdestructiveness andself-sabotage, foreverruiningyet anotherrelationship, whileAshleyexplainedall thereasonshe wasnolonger welcometoPhilip, hefoundhimselfthinking backonaquotation, whichhehadhoped toonedayuse as theopeningof anovel, orperhapsjustachapter. "Nothinglastsforever," hethought,"andweboth knowheartscanchange." You're wrong. I know what you need. Open the door. Let me show you. Let me show you that you're wrong. It's okay. I'm not angry with you anymore. Philip'sthoughts thenturnedto Ike, aloneinhisisolated homeinthewoods, alifetimeof enemies andscorchedearth forcinghiminto aquasi-involuntarily self-imposedexile. Herecalledthelessons learnedfromIke's novelsaboutcharacter, senseofplaceand dialogue, beforerealizingthat hisheroandnew friend hadimpartedPhilip withmorethaneither ofthemhadrealized, forbetteror worse. Staringdown atthesmallcreature, Ashley'semotionswereatlast completelyhersto control. Gadzookeyhadahome,food , andoneverygoodfriend, whocaredmoreabouthim thananythingor anyoneelse. Heneedednothingmore tobecontent. Rejectedbyboth AshleyandYvette, Philipwalkedoffonhisown, withonlythefaintest notionofwheretomove forwardfromthis, thelowpoint ofhisadultlife. Andwhilehe would remainclosewithIke , afriendshipthat provedessentialto theeventualcompletion andpublicationof severalmorenovels, andlaterachieveanenviable levelofwealthand success, fromthisdayforward, Philipwouldneverinvest somuchof himself inanybodyelse, insteadlivingtherest ofhislifeunwilling tosomuchasconsider emotionalhonesty, anddeeplywaryofthose whoattempted togetclosetohim, apatternof behavior thatultimatelylefthim anisolated andemotionlessspecter, foreverremainingamystery, eventohimself. NARRATOR: 'He had been living in the city for nine years, 'and was only now coming to think of it as home. 'Characteristically not in a hurry, 'but perpetually enraged by slow foot traffic before him, 'Philip was on this day meeting for lunch with Mona, his ex-girlfriend, 'whom he had dated throughout a portion of college. 'As with any punctual individual, Philip loathed when people ran late, 'which Mona typically was. 'By the time Mona made her way to Philip, 'he was in a state of rage and on the verge of storming out... 'a reaction he was known to often have 'towards the end of their two-year relationship. 'During the arguments that led to their breakup, 'Mona repeatedly emphasised Philip's short fuse and poor temper 'as key factors in no longer being capable of tolerating his company.' - It's just crazy that you're late to me. - Can we stop talking about it? 25 minutes I'm waiting, almost 30. It's an insult. Also, I have a really busy day, so now I have less than an hour. Probably not even enough time to eat anything. Maybe a grilled cheese for me. I had that the other day. It's disgusting. So I'll ask you how you are, right? Things are good? Things are good with me. Allie and I just finally found a new roommate. Oh, what's-her-ass moved? - She got married, like, two years ago. - Figures. - Is that the new book? - Er... yeah. I wasn't sure you'd noticed, or heard. - OK. - I'm just getting ready. Things are gonna be pretty crazy for me after the release. In fact, this might be the last time I'm home for more than a week at a time for the next eight or possibly nine months. Actually, yeah, definitely. It's just busy. Los Angeles in January, San Francisco... Powell's in Portland, the whole West Coast thing, really. I'm told to expect big things out there. - You sound like you're bragging. - That's because I am bragging. And you're doing a really hurtful job of sounding unfazed. And do you know why that is? Because you're not pretending. You're not interested in this or me, not even a little. - Why would you say that? - Because you never believed in me. - And you don't now. - Well, good for you. No, not good for me. Great for me. You know, you told me many times, now that I think about it, actually, that my goals were unreasonable and foolhardy. Am I recalling this correctly? That my dream, the only dream I've had since I was 14 years old, to write and publish a novel of my own, wasn't something I could just reach out and have. Hard work, you tell me. Years of working up from the bottom, you tell me. Well, you know something? You were wrong. Dead wrong, actually. About me and everything. This was for you. It's an advance copy. I'd even written a little note on the dedication page and everything. But you know something? You don't support me and you never did. So you don't get this gift from me. Not today, not ever. Forever. You were unkind, and you tried to stray me from my path. And had I listened to you, I'd be nothing right now. NARRATOR: 'Philip had never been one for speaking his mind, 'preferring instead to bottle up his emotions, 'eventually forgetting or utilising them for creative inspiration. 'However, this outpouring resulted in Philip feeling more satisfied and content 'than he had in some time, 'and it was for this reason that he immediately telephoned 'his college roommate, Parker, 'with the intention of delivering to him an equally robust dressing down.' You blew people's minds, man. Now look at you. You're just a combination of strange fucking colours. It was gonna be you and me, man. Ring a bell? Sophomore year, creative writing seminar, it was us versus them. - What the fuck happened? - I... Apparently not everybody's cut out for life in the fast lane. You make me want back every minute of time I wasted with you, dreaming of a future we could share. Our declaration of principles. Remember this? Worthless now. I was so stupid to think you wanted it. I wanted it, you fucking asshole! I did want it. I wanted it more than you could know. It's not so easy for everybody, OK? We can't all be as lucky and talented as the great Philip Lewis Friedman. You know what, though? I'm glad, I'm glad. Because if both of our goals had come true, then I'd be just as much of an insufferable piece of shit as you, you fuckin' Jew bastard! (LAUGHS MOCKINGLY) This could have been us. Instead, I'm all alone. NARRATOR: 'Returning home to the apartment he shared with Ashley Kane, 'his girlfriend of two years, 'Philip found himself gripped by uncontrollable lust, 'temporarily forgetting the ambivalence and negligence towards him 'that she was increasingly incapable of concealing, 'as her success as a photographer in the art world 'led to consistent and lucrative commercial work.' Hello? Ashley? ASHLEY: Hello. Come out. I have a surprise for you. 'For the past year, they had been living together, 'one advantage of which was added stability, - 'and a clear head space for writing.' - (CORK POPS) 'Philip would credit this with allowing him to finish his second novel, 'which he previously believed himself unable to complete.' ...Parker, and I smoked him too. I don't know what happened. - Parker too? - Yeah, so... - Two nemesi in one day. - Yes. That's pretty hot. - I'm really proud of you. - Thank you very much. I, er... I feel... No, it's insane. - It's very hot. - What is? The champagne? - You being mean. - Oh. Not hot when you stand like that. - It's not hot? - (LAUGHS) Not hot. You ruined it. Go back to your story. NARRATOR: 'Despite these recent events, 'Philip was incapable of experiencing happiness. 'He counterbalanced his feelings of love and productivity 'with periods of extreme isolation, 'sometimes finding that days on end had passed 'since last leaving the house. 'Shortly after the rush of severing ties 'with those he believed to be poisonous to his mental health, 'Philip was too crippled with anxiety and dread 'to go outside for the better part of a week. 'Philip had harboured increasingly romantic notions 'about what this period in his life would mean, 'until one day, a few months before the publication of his second novel, 'he abruptly became confidently disenfranchised 'to the point of despondency.' You know this should be your job. - So sorry about the wait. - Ah, it's ridiculous. 30 minutes I'm out here, 40 maybe. I'm five away from leaving. - I'm sorry. What do you want me to say? - Nothing. I'd prefer you to say nothing. Riley, don't hold my calls. I've got some bad news, two items of good news. Give 'em to me in that order. Bad news is you're not looking at a good review in the Times. What? How do we know so soon? Who's doing it? Some new woman. - She's new. - So what's the problem? She doesn't like your book. Fuck, I really needed that. - I'll take the good news now. - (CLEARS THROAT) Well, two things. First, you're going to be in the "35 Under 35" issue of the New York Literary Review. - Nobody reads that anymore. - This is something. It is not uncompetitive. Don't be a baby. Shit. Other thing is, Ike Zimmerman got back to me. - He liked your book, wants to meet you. - That's huge. NARRATOR: 'Ike Zimmerman was one of the most prolific American authors 'of the 1970s and '80s. 'His breakthrough novel, Madness Women, 'sold over three million copies in hardback alone. 'Lesser returns and failed genre experiments 'gave way to the triumphant comeback Audit in 1982. 'Since then he published infrequently. 'He had not completed a novel in six years.' Do you wanna look in our wardrobe area? We can probably find you a lighter-weight jacket. Let's just keep this jacket on me and take the photograph sooner rather than later. We actually wanted to get a picture of you in front of the printing press, and then the portrait. - Is that from the 1920s? - Yeah. Well, I'm not, so let's skip it and move on over to this yellow thing, all right? I know. "What an asshole." (SHUTTER CLICKING) Would you mind standing? What is this for? Could you open it as though you're reading, then look at me again? I don't wanna do that. - Why? - It's a poor idea. Why would I be standing up with my jacket buttoned, reading? - It's just a prop. - I can see that. But I think it presents a very false depiction of me. I'd much rather this picture at least seem honest. You know, Tolkien wouldn't allow himself to be photographed writing, because he didn't allow anybody to watch him work. Same idea here. Just slightly modified to suit me. Philip. I hope that wasn't too bad. It's always bad. There's just degrees of bad. Oh, hey. How's it going? Mmh... good. We met before. Er... I don't think we have. You sure about that? Um... I wanted to tell you I really liked your book. Those advance copies really get around, huh? Anyway, the first one's better. Um, I haven't read it. I'm not some weird groupie or anything. No, if you were a groupie, you likely would have read both my books. Are there book groupies? Author groupies? Not many, but yeah. Hey! (WHISTLES) Quick thought I just had. I'm not doing any press for the book at all. Readings, interviews. Nothing. - You cannot be serious. - Oh, quite. That's a horrible, horrible idea. I don't like the idea of being on display. My mind is made up. I wanna be left alone. Hi, Riley. ASHLEY: I think the tie is a bit much. I'm invited to his home. I don't wanna look like a schmo. Then maybe lose the jacket. You know, it's 80 degrees out. It looks like you don't own a more seasonally-appropriate jacket. I don't know, I think it looks nice. Yeah. Nice, just kind of sweaty. - Philip Lewis Friedman. - Go get 'em. - OK, bye. - Bye. - Pleasure. - Good luck. - Thank you. - Fix your collar. - Huh? - Your collar. Oh. Thank you. I'd seriously consider having a better answer to that question if I were you. I'm filling up notebooks, but it's nothing but worthless garbage. Don't tell people that. Makes you look lazy and stupid. Got it. That probably came out a lot crueller than I intended. But don't make being lackadaisical and disorganised your thing. - It sends out a message that you'll regret. - I see. Do you have a nice place to write? I mean, that's important. You'll find that, if you haven't already. I rented a small studio. Does it work for you? No, not really. In fact, I rarely go. Here. I probably wouldn't have wanted to hear this either when I was your age, but... The city. You can't get anything done here. It has a creative energy, but not a productive energy. Quiet does not exist, and I find that difficult. Do you know, I've not written a single page within the city limits these past 30 years? You'll need a country retreat, if you can afford one. I can't. (CHUCKLES) Well... Of course, I had achieved considerably more than you by now. - Not to be insulting. - Of course. But if I can be of any assistance, if I can help in any way, just ask outright. Don't be shy. I loved your book. - Yeah, it was OK. - Don't denigrate yourself. It's really, really good, and it would be a shame for me not to read another one. Hello. (♪ UPBEAT LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYING) It's a filthy system, the way it's structured. You can trust me on this. I'm not sorry if this kills any of your illusions about anything. I feel like it's my job to tell you the honesty. Nobody else has. Nobody else can. It's rare to find these things out, and also upsetting. These little glasses. Let me see these things. Oh, yeah, we have the exact same affectation. Mm-mmh... Ah... Emily. Erm... Seems like a less than ideal place to carry on. Is it 'cause you have a girlfriend? You mentioned her in an interview. It's because it's gauche to grope and kiss in public. You really don't remember meeting me, do you? I had a photo shoot in that same place when my first book came out. I gave you a copy of it. You acted like you were better than some first-time author nobody had ever heard of, even though you were probably still in college. I wrote my number in it, twice. I really honestly don't remember meeting you. Sorry, but I remember you now. Oh, of course you do. OK. I'll call you. (BICYCLE BELL RINGS) ASHLEY: Where were you? Out. So, my meeting with Ike today... Oh, so he's Ike now? - With Zimmerman. How's your gin? - How was he? He has a quality that can only be described as... chrome. - And? - He seems to wanna help me. How can he help you? He didn't say. He's got great stories. I'd love to hang out with him again. Do we have plans? - Do we have plans when? - Whenever. Yes, Philip, I'd say sometime in the indeterminate future, we may have plans. Good shoot today? Can you just leave me alone? I have to do this. You're fucking with other people's money here. Money, money, money. What about my integrity? You know, I can think of a few other important writers who also took a firm no-press position. I just wanna know that you've thought it through thoroughly. I haven't. It's a very impulsive decision, and I'm very pleased with myself for that. Philip, this is Josh Fawn. Josh, this is Philip, who's being a baby and an asshole. Ciao. Yes, we've met before. We've done some panels together. Er... I remember one of them. Phil, Josh is going on a promotional tour for his new book. That's what responsible authors do. It helps them sell copies and benefits all parties involved. - Noted. - We're wanting you to cover this as a feature for one of several magazines, that we're currently negotiating with. I just like the new book, and this idea came up, and I kind of suggested you. - Thanks, Josh. - Interest? Terms? You'll take whatever we can get you. It'll be two to three weeks. I assume we can get you something like 5,000 to 8,000 depending on where we ultimately sell it to. Right in my pocket. Sounds great. See, when I slam a door, life opens a window. When do we leave? You gonna be speaking in little turns of phrase like that the whole time? I might. I don't know. I think this is gonna be fun. You wanna go sit somewhere and talk more about it? I think we're pretty much on the same page. Hey, thanks for doing this, by the way. You don't seem to give a shit about this at all. Sure, I do. I'm a nice guy. Read an article about me. I'm self-deprecating. No, I'm not thrilled you're going away for over a month. That is why I'm acting like this. Can we please not talk about this in public? It strikes me as unlikely, as you supported ideas like this when I still could have turned them down. I need the money. What I said was, it would be good for your career. I thought you meant "career" with a dollar sign. I think we need more. Fireworks, shooting guns. Maybe we need to get arrested. Yeah, that might be a little bit problematic for some of my younger, more impressionable fans. I have a lot of those, I'm told. Hi. Ashley. (CLICKS TONGUE) Oh, my God. Hi. - Josh. - Josh. Yeah. - Wow. How are you? - I'm good. How you doin'? It was... - Beth's wedding? - Beth's wedding, right. Wow. Was a fun night. I'm foggy. - Good to see you. - Yeah, nice to see you as well. You guys know each other. Yeah, we fucking live together. (CLICKS TONGUE) Nice. How you take a punch, Josh? - (COUGHS) Excuse me? - I think we should get into a fight. For the article. I think it'd be a neat idea. - Stand up, Josh. - OK. - I'm gonna show you how to take a punch. - I know how to take a punch. I'm gonna show you the right way to take a punch. OK, hit me. - Where? - Right in my stomach. Hit me as hard as you can, just at my stomach. That wasn't as hard as I can. I know. I hope not. Hit me again. Harder. Seriously. - Yeah, OK. - Go. - You ready? - Yeah. - Harder? - Go. Harder. I'm fine. What I did was essentially, breathing is key. - Think of it as, like... - Just hit me. - All right, you ready? OK. - Yeah. One... Two... It's cancelled. I'm fired, if you can believe that. The whole damn time, he had another guy and was talking to another magazine, and just goes with that. It's sociopathic, is what it is. Fucking snake. Feel like a real fat loser right now. You should use the time doing something equally as productive. Well, I was actually planning to stay home and suffer quietly as I can no longer afford to do much else. Come to my country house. Stay with me. Rub two sticks together. Make a fire. I know most people expect surprising and generous offers to be politely refused, but I might have to call your bluff and emphatically accept. How does Memorial Day sound? That's next week. Yeah. Sooner the better. I have a girl, Melanie, up there. She looks after the place. I'll mention it to her. Thank you. Skol. NARRATOR: 'Philip had begun to feel that the city was rejecting him, 'and Ike's sudden offer of solitude and respite was immediately appealing. 'So much so that Philip even requested that the invitation be open-ended, 'and that he be allowed to stay until he felt emotionally capable of returning to the city. 'To Philip's surprise, Ike considered this a terrific idea, 'and even said so.' IKE: Actually, that's a terrific idea. I admire you for being so bold as to come right out and ask. I know that sounds like I'm being sarcastic, but I'm not. NARRATOR: 'Ike had begun to lose his passion for being alone all the time, 'and was eager to have an impressionable young mind on which to impart his wisdom. 'It was under these circumstances that Philip agreed 'to spend a portion of his summer upstate with Ike, 'rather than in the city with Ashley. 'Ashley had not been the first to notice 'Philip's increasingly marginal role in her life. 'It was talked about often by friends and colleagues, 'none of whom ever had a relationship with Philip, 'but grew used to hearing about him much more than they had been lately. 'It had been months since Ashley felt any real connection to Philip. 'He began to drift away while applying the finishing touches to his new book 'and had never come back. 'She tried her best to ignore the mounting signs, 'but the more often they were brought to her attention, 'the harder it became. 'The most difficult part of which was her own increasing ambivalence 'regarding her role in Philip's life, or his in hers. 'She wanted him to want her, 'and the slowly dawning realisation that he might not 'was enough to push her into emotionally unprecedented levels 'of doubt and misdirected anger.' ASHLEY: So it's cancelled, and you're suddenly leaving again? Looks like it. God, you'd do anything to get away from me. You see, it's remarks like that that tell me I'm doing the right thing. Can we please talk? OK. Talk. Kind of figured you would say something. (CLICKS TONGUE) Nope. Actually, I do have something to say, and I imagine you'll not care to hear it, and it is this. I'm not going to Ike's for just the week. He invited me to stay for longer. - Wait, longer? - Yeah. I don't understand. Honestly, I don't see myself returning till July or so. So, you're basically leaving me for the whole summer. Not if you look at it like that. - How am I supposed to look at it? - Look at it like this. I was supposed to be gone most of June anyway, right? I don't see how this is any different. I can't breathe here, and you seem to resent my presence. Thus I'm unable to work. It's ugly. It's loud. It's always moving. I never feel still long enough to hold a thought. I feel sick out there among the people. I need to remedy this, and an opportunity has presented itself. I'm gonna take it. I've got no money and no hope of another advance. I'm doing what's best for me. Yeah, you're doing what you're best at. You're looking out for your own self interests without thinking about how it might affect me or anybody else. Typical! You're hardly around anyway. You won't even notice. Hey, don't tell me I'm not gonna notice that I'm alone all of a sudden. Why can't you do something that involves me? Why can't we go somewhere together? You know, alone or... Is it the money? Because I don't mind if you need to borrow some again... Put your money away, all right? I'm not taking any money from you. Those days are behind me. Forever, I told myself. I hope this will be good for us. But especially for me. You are selfish and unsentimental. - Everyone knows this about you. - You say that like it's a bad thing. On the contrary. An admirable trait, if you ask me. I come from an unsupportive background. Yeah, I do, too, but don't cling to it. It'll make you lazy and angry. - Your work will suffer. - I'll keep that in mind. And I don't believe you need to exacerbate these instincts in yourself more than you already do. You got it. (TYRES SCREECH, CAR HORN BEEPS) (♪ MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) Ah... now, your room's out the back. I, erm... I have to go to the city for a couple of days. - Do you think you'll be all right here? - Yes, I do. I thought so. (DOOR OPENS) Hello? Dad? PHILIP: Hello? Are you that kid? You're the caretaker, Melanie? Dad mentioned you might be here. So, this comes as no surprise. Not to me, no. "Dad"? Beautiful sunset. - Productive day? - Not particularly. I'm glad that he's replaced himself with a younger surrogate to handle the forlorn moping. I'm glad it pleases you. He'll be back in a few days. I know. I wasn't sure if you cared about me being here and him not. - I do not. - Right. Because you are a guest. And this is probably your summer home. He used to bring other women here so he could cheat on my mother. So, no family vacations. Only horrible, traumatic ones. (BIRDS CHIRPING) (LAWNMOWER) (ENGINE STOPS) You never smell cut grass in the city. I don't find you charming. You are just like him, and I hope you learn to take responsibility for yourself before you destroy the lives of people who care about you. (STRAINS) This is really nice. Thanks, Dad. So, how's it been up here? It's been good. I've really enjoyed all the alone time. I'm sorry about the scheduling problem. Will you admit that you made a mistake? I don't think that's necessary. It was a simple misunderstanding. Could happen to anyone. Was anybody speaking to you? - I thought I was part of the conversation. - Well, you weren't supposed to be. In fact, you're not even supposed to be here. I am. Does that make sense? You are the scheduling problem I was referring to. I thought you were talking about how your father had to go back to the city. - Yeah, I thought so too. - Well, I wasn't. You didn't make that clear, sweetheart. I can't process how grossly dissatisfied I find myself feeling. Things I've coveted for years are mine now, and all I feel is miserable. (CHUCKLES) That is so cliché. But you know that, so I won't bother reminding you of how silly you sound. Didn't you say you, erm... you placed on some silly list of young so-and-so's? 35 under 35. That's it. Yeah. Yeah, we didn't have crap like that when I was your age. You're ahead of the game. Yeah, but when you were 32, didn't you win the National Book Award? That's true. But you are not me. How would you like to accept a gracious favour I've done for you? Depends on what it is. That answer is at once both arrogant and correct. Don't accept too readily something you might want. In any event, a friend of mine from Lambert College got in touch. They're looking for an adjunct creative writing instructor for the fall semester. I teach there occasionally, as you know, but usually more advanced seminars, so... I find this to be beneath me, but it's a good opportunity for you. He'd like to interview you tomorrow. - You can take my car. - What does it pay? At that level, I have no idea. But, hey, you haven't got the position yet. I've merely placed you on their radar. But you're notable now, and that helps. We're so excited you accepted. The new book is really terrific. Oh, boy. I wish somebody here would say something mean. - Mean? - Or honest. It's unlikely that everybody here has nothing but praise. It's not real. I don't like how this is starting. These are decent people. (MOCKINGLY) They just want to be your friend. I know, that's the problem. Sorry to bother you again. - Is there trash in here? - Yes, I'm right here. (LAUGHS) Hey. It's Philip. You look like you're asleep with your eyes open. I didn't even see you there. You were looking right at me. You were right. This place is beautiful. You sure you don't want any of these? Brought you a whole box. I'd rather just look around and stare at people. I was surprised you called me. I didn't see any way that I couldn't. Things are pretty hectic with my new book and everything. That's pretty cool. No, it's not cool. It's fucking amazing. Do you know how few people reach this level? You seem to not care. I really don't. Did you ask me here so you could talk about yourself? Next question. Does talking about this stuff make you feel happy? No. I find thinking about it all to be unfulfilling and exhausting. Does nothing for me. Well, that's how the rest of your life is gonna be. Unfulfilling and exhausting. I think success has made you ugly. I think you've gotten far too in touch with your selfish instincts, and it's not healthy. But I still think about you. I think the guy I used to know would have made a really great boyfriend. I want to take that cupcake out of your hand right now and throw it so fucking far away from you. Goddamn it, you make me sick. You're just a big baby. Babies wanna be around sugar all the time. No wonder you're a baker. You're the worst. I'm not successful, I'm notable. There's a difference. Besides, I'm not notable, either. Noteworthy at best. I once considered you my favourite ex-girlfriend. That's very sweet of you. Let's... let's turn this day around, do something fun. Maybe, I don't know, break into a bank, or rob a car or something. - All right, let's do it. - Let's do it. Got some wire hangers at my place. Oh, great, well, let's steal a car, go to your place, get the wire hangers, come back, steal another car, and just drive off. OK. I feel like it wouldn't be weird for you to kiss me right now. Every girl's so beautiful to me. I don't wanna think about her at all anymore. - You should have followed her. - She wouldn't have me. And besides, she's moved on. And in a way, so have I. Just not actually, of course. Well, I speak from experience when I say that it is horrible... to be treated in a way that only points out how meaningless you are. Never thought of it that way. (♪ INDIE DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) He's here. MAN: Yeah, he just walked into your bedroom. Oh, hey, how's it goin'? You're a monster. I hate you. Then I doubt you'll mind me being gone through December. I don't even know how to respond to that. I've been offered a position teaching creative writing at Lambert College. I'm moving there for the semester. You stood in my way when I had so many opportunities. I guess that's why I'm telling you about this after I agreed to it. So you decided to sneak back in the middle of the night? It's not the middle of the night, Ashley. It's 10:00pm. Besides, I had some meetings in the city that ran late, and I considered just buying new clothes, but I needed to get some books I wanted to re-read. Also, I want my car. Oh, shit, I forgot about the car. You haven't been moving it for street cleaning? I've been gone for three weeks. Do you know how many tickets I must have? (TUTS) I kind of would have thought this to be beneath you. You know, at one time I would have as well, but look at me now. - You're a man of contradictions. - No, I'm not. Who are all these assholes? They're my friends. "They're my friends." Mostly. I got this job, this... This national ad campaign, so... We're celebrating. That's great. NARRATOR: 'Philip wished Ashley had not reminded him 'of how great it felt to be proud of her. 'His own relationship with success had forced him 'to grow out of feeling resentful towards her accomplishments. 'He was not prepared to lose that constant stream of enthusiasm.' You see? You don't even need me. God, you really believe that, don't you? I'm not sure how to answer that without making things worse. I supported you when nobody gave a shit about you. I want you to know I regret that now. Good. ASHLEY: I don't wanna talk to you anymore. So you can just... you can be somebody else's charity case. - Maybe Zimmerman will take care of you. - He already has, and he will gladly continue. Get out of my house. My house too. No. It was never your house. You just lived here. You know, I'd like to hope that in a few months' time, we'll both have some perspective on this and be able to move somewhere, like forward. This feels irreparable. You accusing me of indifference? You don't seem to be struggling. I am. Just not in the ways that you notice. You need a haircut. I know. (DOOR CLOSES) I'm pretty sure I'm missing a brush. I'll bet one of those models yoinked it. You got any plans tonight? Just gonna stay in, or are you going out? We were together for almost three years. Do you want to come over? We were just gonna make dinner at home. You should come. No, thanks. I don't want to be a burden. You're not being a burden. I couldn't tell him anything without him getting depressed and jealous. Now he's gone. He owes me a lot of money. You know, when he was writing and had no income. Thousands of dollars. I don't mean to bring you into it. I just... I don't think dinner tonight's a good idea. No, it's not a good idea at all. I'm allergic to cats. Can we just, like, put them down until you're ready? No, 'cause then they're likely to run away. And then where are we? Stuck with no cats. Is everything OK? What is this cat's name? This little guy is called Prescott. That was my grandfather's name. NARRATOR: 'For the first time in years, Ashley found herself feeling truly alone. 'Despite being surrounded by people most of every day, 'she was unable to connect to them in a way she considered meaningful 'and found herself passing through their lives, and her own, 'in a state of total isolation. What size are these shirts? I don't know. Small or medium. Try it on. I'll give you an ill-fitting discount. They seem expensive. Sold to the highest bidder. - This too. - Yeah, why not? This? Throw this in. It's not very good, but you can use it as a coaster or something. No good. Naw. Take the jacket too. Two for one. Look at that. You would date that man, right? Yeah. (♪ CLUB MUSIC PLAYING) - Congratulations. - Thank you. - You're late. - Yeah. - It's OK. - Yeah. You lost? Goddamn it. Well, at least there's one pinball player in the family. (LAUGHS) - That's a triple take. - Yeah? Is that with the spin? You do that... Wait, let me try. - You missed mine. - Let me see it again. I was... We were both double-taking at the same time. Hey, that was three. That was pretty good. That was good. Erm... What do you get if you cut a bra in half? - (CHUCKLES) What? - A yarmulke with a chin strap. - MAN: Can you guys keep it down, please? - What? Can you please keep it down? How dare you tell me to keep it down? I'm here with my better half here. Go fuck yourself! You can't come into my place where I'm with my friends, drinking, playing pinball, having a fun time, celebrating. You're not welcome. Get out of here. Get the fuck out of here! I'm not kidding you. Get the fuck out of here right now. I hate that man. MAN: Hey, sweetheart. What? What are you staring at? Nothing. - Nothing? - Thought I smelled gasoline. That's me. - You look lost. - I'm not. Wanna come hang out? - You want something to drink? - Sure. All right, sit down. NARRATOR: 'When she had first spoken to the lowlife at the bar, 'it was the first time in four days Ashley heard her own voice out loud. 'She became devastatingly aware of her own desperation, loneliness and torment. 'Quickly she could take no more and went home.' - (DOGS BARKING) - Nobody here is in pain. This is a no-kill shelter. We have plenty of available foster parents who are able to take care of them for as long as necessary to find a home. - Do you have any cats? - What? Cats! Do you have any cats? This guy is really friendly. Loving. Do you have any black and white ones? Like, that resemble a panda? Or a raccoon? You really care about the colour. Yeah, kind of. MECHANICAL VOICEBOX: He chooses you. You want a snack? Do you want a snack? This is your new home. What do you think? There we go. Get familiar. OK, come on. Ready? Ready to find your bed? What do you think? - Hey! - Hey! - Hey, you're here. - I'm here. - How was your trip? - Ugh, I feel sick. - You feel sick? - Yeah. Oh, it's a beautiful day. Right? Place looks good. I'm excited you finally get to see our renovations. Can't believe that excites you. God, you sound like a brat who lives in a dump in New York. Don't be shitty. My house is not a dump. Wouldn't know. I've never been. Lots of fights happened in this room. Only with you. We're going out. Get yourself dressed up. It's gonna be a big night. (LAUGHS) OK, could you stop doing that? It's really annoying. I planned on going away for a week. - You know this is important to me. - I know, but it wasn't supposed to start for 10 days. They changed it. I don't know what to tell you. You're not being really supportive right now. You know this is an amazing opportunity for me. Tell me the good version of this conversation. "You got the job? "Congratulations, Ashley. I'm so happy for you. "Although I admit to being a little disappointed, "I understand that these things happen. "I'm so proud of you, baby." That's basically what I said. I would never say that. I am proud of you. Come here. I wish you wanted to go out. I am out. I don't live here. Oh, I adopted a cat. I know. You send me pictures. I send them or I sent them once? - Oh, more than once. - I think I'm going to name my cat Gadzookey. You have a little situation there. With your... Oh. I love him. You should love a human. I just don't want him to be one of those exes I have to see every few years. You know? He's making it really easy. I hate that you think this is easy. That's nice. - Should I do anything? - No, no, no, just look that way. There you go. Smile. (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) Think of something funny. Nice. There you go. It's me. Work it. Work it. Classic, but not a comedy. And he got 'em all! - You want another one? - Not another banana joke. Can I take one of you? - So, you pull the thing back? - Oh, it looks nice, yeah. - Did it click? - Yeah. Smile a little. I don't feel like smiling. - Focus up there. You all right? - I'm getting addicted to this. It's gonna be a bit fuzzy, I have a feeling. - There you go. Turn that thing, don't be shy. - They're art house. That sun. (♪ A RAINCOAT: "MAKING ME NERVOUS") ♪ Baby, I love you both night and day ♪ Baby, you throw me so as I can't think what I should say ♪ Seeing you, I feel weak ♪ And I can hardly speak ♪ 'Cause you are making me nervous ♪ Making me nervous ♪ Every time I see you on a Sunday night, I get a fright ♪ The way I talk, behave and act, it don't come out right ♪ I'm no kind of freak ♪ But I can hardly speak ♪ 'Cause you are making me nervous ♪ Making me nervous ♪ Like an actor in the wings ♪ Like a man before he sings ♪ You know you're gonna make it if you try ♪ 'Cause you are making me nervous ♪ Making me nervous ♪ You know they're gonna like you if you try... ♪ NARRATOR: 'Philip had returned for his winter clothes the third week of July. 'By early September, Ashley had at last begun to feel 'as though her life was her own again. 'All signs of Philip had been erased, save for a few irrelevant boxes, 'allowing her to go hours, occasionally days, 'without being preoccupied by thoughts of him. 'Once, when she failed to keep him out of her mind, 'Ashley decided to uncover and finally read 'the short stories Philip had written while in college and shortly thereafter, 'before they had met. 'She was sad to discover that the stories were, 'as Philip had always promised, 'not of any remarkable quality. 'Ashley felt her final remaining vestiges of admiration for Philip slipping away, 'although she respected his progression from these to his recent work. 'Ashley wondered if Philip's first novel would have excited her as much as it once did 'if she had read these stories when they first met. 'Following this episode, 'Ashley put the stories and Philip away for as long as she could manage. 'By this point, the truth was 'that she had no idea of what he had been doing all summer, 'nor was it of any pressing concern to her. 'Ashley's dedication to carrying on with early autumn traditions, 'ones formerly enjoyed with Philip, 'did much to distract her from the shifting of seasons 'and all the connected feelings that could come along with it. 'Her dedication to normalcy allowed Ashley to stave off 'a seasonally-augmented sense of melancholy, 'which prevented her from regressing back to the darkness 'she had completely left behind. 'Yearning for intimate interaction detached from her work 'and regular circle of friends, 'and needing to spend an evening away from Gadzookey the cat, 'to whom she had discovered she was mildly allergic, 'Ashley made social plans with her ex-boyfriend Peter. 'They had dated for just under two years prior to her meeting Philip, 'and seldom saw one another, 'so the invitation came to him as something of a surprise. 'The ease with which their conversation flowed 'made her further disdain Philip for not only the void he had left in her life, 'but also the energy she had decided he routinely drained from it, 'which she now felt being slowly breathed back in.' You didn't talk about him at all. Got nothing to say. How is he? I did so well. Can you not ask? Please. Thank you. I feel him weighing on me more in his absence, than I did when he was around. Where is he? He's just gone. It's like he was a figment of my imagination. PHILIP: I'm fairly certain I'm not welcome here. Ding-ding-ding. It's late. I've been sitting here waiting to make a scene for hours. What do you want? I'm very lonely. That's unfortunate. I don't like teaching creative writing as much as I assumed I would. Well, you're a cruel, miserable person, so it makes sense you'd end up in a miserable situation. What happened to my desk? That's my bonus desk. - Nobody at the school likes me. - Nobody here likes you. I think I might resign and come home. (MUMBLING) You don't live here. You live upstate. No, I don't want that to be my home. It's lonely and sad and the faculty have turned on me. Boo-hoo! The last few weeks have been so hard for you. Whose cat is this? It's my cat. - We don't have a cat. - Apparently I do. Oh, look, see? There it is. Come here, big boy. This is Gadzookey. Gadzookey, meet Philip. Don't get attached. He was just leaving. Do you ever make a decision that at the time seems sound, but quickly reveals itself to be empty? Good-bye, Philip. I don't like you. He's kind of an asshole. What a strange feeling. So off... it's like my head is a car, but I can't drive fast because there's too much traffic. So instead I'm just moving very, very slowly. It's so hard, what I do. I mean, it's not at all, and that is the joke, right? - (SIGHS) God, this is so boring. - A big joke. Ashley's so bored right now. Just go back where you came from. I'm getting angry at myself, do you understand? Because it doesn't even upset me to see you like this. I want you to leave and leave me alone. I don't know why you are here, but I'm not interested, so don't tell me. God, do you remember there was a time when we just... We wanted to go to sleep together and wake up together, every day, indefinitely. Now I don't even give a shit if I ever see you again. I want you to leave, and just don't come back and stop hurting me. I got asked to write a short story about photography. By who? Oh, God, you'd be so mad if I told you. Isn't that what you want? I don't know what you want me to say. You used to be so exciting. Now you're just pitiful. (CLICKS TONGUE) I'm afraid you've seen the last of me for a long, long time. (ASHLEY CHUCKLES) (DOOR CLOSES) (EXHALES) (DOOR OPENS) - Hey. - I know you. Do you know where he is? I don't. Do you, like, live here now? I still have the keys. No, now I live in a depressing faculty apartment. How is the college? It's fine. I assumed he'd be here. - Seems I was mistaken. - Yeah, that makes two of us. Hey, you can stay if you want to. That won't be necessary. NARRATOR: 'For reasons unclear to him, 'the exchange with Melanie caused overwhelming anxiety in Philip, 'who had driven through the night to get here. 'In the weeks he had spent living with Ike, when Melanie was not around, 'she was never brought up in conversation. 'Philip would have forgotten about her, 'had it not been for the smattering of photographs 'that still remained in the guest room where he slept. 'Sitting meekly on the couch, 'Melanie embodied the high cost of isolation and detachment from loved ones. 'Unable to stand it any longer, 'Philip excused himself and returned to his pitiful life at the college.' Tell him I was here. Your little protégé stopped by yesterday. He's not a protégé, he's a... He's a friend. I still haven't read his book. I couldn't find it anywhere. My copy is in the city. Should I read it? Well, it is remarkable. He suffers a little from being too arrogant, both in his writing and as a person. Oh. Match made in heaven. I don't know if I can continue to accommodate you here. Why is that? Because you're a pain in the ass. I have to go to the city today. What for? See my agent. - Henry? - Henry? No. Henry's not been with me for 10 years. Why not? Because he's a cocksucker and a little piece of shit. Oh, fuck! Jesus, God Almighty. Fucking thing. Look at this. Is this a meeting about something new? Hmm? Well, potentially. It's complicated. We're hoping for some money from a sale of movie rights. Is that woman still your editor? No. She's an asshole with no loyalty as well. - What about... - Are you here only to put me on the spot? None of this is worth revisiting to me. I've been betrayed by a lot of small-minded and worthless people. Do I need them to accomplish anything? The answer is no. They are altogether nothing. Having once known me will always be the most interesting thing about them. Those fucking vultures have fed off me longer than any sane man would have allowed. That sounds like a horrible example to set for your little student. So what? He's not my kid. NARRATOR: 'Ike's time with Philip had been rejuvenating, 'restoring a sense of pride and vitality 'that the man at one point subsided solely upon. 'The adoration and attention was something he'd not felt in years 'and, during the summer months, resulted in Ike feeling stronger 'and more productive than he had been in some time. 'When Philip departed in late August for the college, 'Ike was remiss to find himself backsliding 'into a familiar pattern of boredom and tedium. 'His friendship with Philip eventually served 'as little other than a reminder of the absences in his life, 'and of their increasing presence and volume. 'Seeing Philip during the previous weekend 'had left Ike in an even lower state of self-pity, 'as he found himself unable to produce a worthwhile thought. 'So consumed was he with the solitude and self-imposed exile 'he had once coveted and manufactured for himself so meticulously 'but now experienced only as an infinitely replenishing prism of regret. 'The companionship of Melanie was, at best, diverting 'and, at worst, a constant reminder of the multitudes of relationships 'Ike had gleefully sabotaged over the years, 'all in the name of preserving and feeding his increasingly insatiable ego. 'When she asked, he would refuse to be open or honest 'about the past several years of his life, 'neglecting to satisfy her curiosity about what had become 'of his many friends, acquaintances and colleagues.' Nobody's seen her since she was a teenager. Well, she stopped visiting right about then. Which is just as well. She's a pain in the ass. How so? She asks too many questions. She used to have all those cute friends. - Have any of them been by? - I'm... I'm not here all the time. I used to be a lion. We all did. I think we've become pathetic. Want to hear a funny idea? (♪ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING, INSTRUCTOR GIVING DANCE INSTRUCTIONS) (GROANS) Come on up, come on. Hey, come on. Here, take your coat off. Here you are. Yeah. This is my place. My humble home. I know. - You want to take your coat off? - Oh, thank you. Yeah, I'll set it right here. - So, er... drinks? - Sure, of course. We have some wine, red wine, white wine. - Erm... red. - Red? - Norm? - Prosecco. - Ah... - Prosecco! That's fancy, Norm. NORM: You know, I love movies. So here's a line from a movie. You have to guess. She says to a younger man who's trying to woo her, to flirt with her... And she says to him, "You don't want me. You want somebody young and fresh." And she goes, "Armies have marched over me." - All right, guess that one. - Right away. Thank you. WOMAN: Are we supposed to guess who said that? - Well, maybe. Yeah. - What movie? - What was your name again? - Thank you. Flo. Flow gently, sweet Afton. It is spoken by Rita Hayworth. - Do you remember Rita Hayworth? - Of course. - Yes! - They don't remember Rita Hayworth. (LAUGHS) In a movie called Fire Down Below. Hey, you know that? There's snow on the roof, but there's fire down below. - Santé! Santé! - You're French, right? Come here. It's more cosy. - Yeah, come on. - Is there anyone else coming tonight? Well, I'm younger than Norm. Oh, I thought you said there was a party happening. Oh, I'm sorry, I... Maybe I... I have a secret weapon. - Oh! - I'll go get it. Just hold it right there. Yeah, he's young. He's not tall, but he's young. Philip. Philip, get over here. No, now, as quick as you can. Get here now. So there was these two old men sitting in deck chairs on the beach, and one of them turns to the other and he says, "It's nice out today," and the other one says, "Sure, I'll get mine out in a minute." (LAUGHTER) (KNOCK ON DOOR) Hey, let's hope it's a boy! Huh? Philip! Come on, stand up. Oh, you are standing. (LAUGHS) Come in, come in. Hey. - Hey. - Hey. Oh! In you come. (WHISPERS) We will be social with these women tonight. Son, you're young. Come on. Huh? What are you? - Old. - Yeah? Wise. And also rich, which helps. Yeah, one day you'll be old, wise and rich. Now get in there. Come on. Enjoy yourself! (LAUGHS) Call me son, yeah? Hi, I'm Philip. My name is Philip. - Hello. - WOMAN: Hi. I know who you are, but it's a real pleasure. - An old friend of Ike's. - How do you know each other? Well, I've never met him personally, but, um... - You've heard of me. - I've read. I've read who I think you are. - WOMAN: Wow. - Yeah, he's... you know who he is, correct? No, should we know who he is? - Yeah, he's one of the... - I don't know whether you should... - I... I write. - He's what they call essential. - A writer. - Like the profession. This guy is like, they teach this guy. - You know... - Oh, really? Yeah, I'm gonna just go check really quickly on the lord of the manor. Oh! Well, get yourself a drink. You need a drink. Well, I shouldn't, probably. I've already taken, like, all kinds of strange things before coming over here, so I don't know. - Good, you'll be able... - You look very put together. You handle your things well. I do handle them well, but... I'm speaking of allergy medicine in this case, 'cause upstate really fucks with me. All right, have yourself... All right, have yourself a merry little Christmas. I'll be right back. - Good to see you. - It's an honour. - Sit down. - Thank you. Sit down. What are you doing in here? - They said they want you to come back. - You fucked up. - Huh? - Get back in there. I could have made that transaction in two minutes when I was your age. Twice a week. Fucking get back in there. Well, it's my understanding that was a different time. Women were, you know... looser then. Also much more impressed by authors. Yeah, authors like me. Get in! WOMAN: You wrote that book? - Well, no. No, no, no. Listen. - Oh, my god. - Can we have an autograph? - You wanted to know about Joseph Conrad. IKE: And we're back. Hey, hey, how about you give us a little tune on the piano, huh? - Uh... - Come on, come on. You want a little song? A song from Philip? NORM: Georgia on My Mind. More upbeat. Upbeat. Let's dance. Let's dance. (♪ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING ON PIANO) IKE: Oh, that's it. IKE: Melanie! Hey, hey, hey! Look who's here! Hey! - PHILIP: Hey. - WOMAN: Hi. IKE: That's my daughter, huh? MELANIE: I hate you both. - (WHISPERS) I have nothing to do with this. - Oh, didn't you? Go fuck yourself. (♪ MUSIC RESUMES) You've ruined this night for me. OK, OK, OK. No, no. It's over, it's over. OK, you should go. Go, go, go! Thanks for coming. - Bye. - Bye. Ike. What just happened? I told you what she's like. - I didn't think it was that... - Yeah. I'd completely forgotten she was here. Oh, she can be such a bitch sometimes. To hell with her. - Norm? - Yes, sir. Little drink for the road. - Thank you. - Huh? - Here. - Oh, thank you. Smell that? '25. PHILIP: All right, the good stuff. Philip, I've, er... I got something special for you. I don't talk to her mother anymore. Did I tell you that? I guess I just sort of assumed it. She asked me about it the other day. I didn't know what to say to her. Oh, God. She can be such a pain in the ass. Anyway, here's to us. Cheers. Philip. Seems like it's just you and me left now, Norm, huh? Oh, hey. I forgot to tell you. I saw this the other day. Hmm? The guy you were supposed to do the journalism piece on, that snake? It seems he took his own life. - Jesus. - Who is it? Who's that? IKE: What's he called? PHILIP: Josh Fawn, the writer. I mean, I'm glad he's dead and all, but... Doing that interview would have been a really great opportunity for me. Last interviews are hard to get, because you never know. I know this guy. I like his work. - I had lunch with him recently. - You did? - I did. - IKE: You had lunch with him? - Yes. - Lunch, and, whoo! (LAUGHS) Oh, well. Erm... you know, I'm looking forward to reading your work. Hey, hey, hey, don't buy a copy. I got plenty here. You can have one of mine. Anyway, listen... I gotta go to bed, OK? Old Ikey has got to get some rest. Why don't you stay here tonight? I've got a meeting at the college tomorrow. You can drive me there. - Erm... - Is that good? - Yeah. - OK. - I didn't bring a toothbrush. - Good night, everybody. Good night. - Night. - Good night to you. - Norm. - Take care. Was a pleasure. Take care. - And... - Be well. - I can, I will be. - Oh, well, don't look at that. Jesus Christ. You dick. - Good one? - Good enough. Even looking at the girls here brings on a cascade of conflicting emotions. They're always gonna want more than you're prepared to offer. You remember that. You'll learn it yourself one day, if you haven't already. What are you thinking about? Are you thinking about what I just told you? This place looks unforgiving. Suffers in comparison to the guest room. Well, the offer's still on the table. Don't sit on the car. Listen, this isn't the city. They're a different breed of snob up here. It's academia. Academia nuts. (LAUGHS) I fail to understand the distinction. Yeah, I do, too, sometimes. It's been really awful. I consider you my good friend. I appreciate that. But you'll soon find how little that counts for. I'm not referring to myself, but there's a lot of assholes out there. Less up here than in the city, but it's all relative. You say it yourself. You don't see anybody. You have no friendships. And you have ruined every relationship in which you ever could have found meaning. Who? Huh? Associates? Sycophants? Who the fuck needs pissants like that? Good riddance. Me. Mom. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, as usual. Why do you assume that she never talked to me? Oh, I'm sure she was only too eager to fill your head with some inane, fictitious bullshit. But one thing I know for a fact, you only got one version of events told from the perspective of a very sad, very lonely, pathetic woman. You insult again. This is my mother you're talking about. And? Go on. You talk about her like she's some leech that sucked you dry. Yeah, well, she would have done, given half the chance. Her and everyone else. You know, she is my biggest regret, hmm? The strongest and saddest proof that you cannot change anyone, and that your first instinct about them will always be right. Yeah, well, that just proves that you yourself can't be changed, either. Yeah, well, much to my chagrin, I prove my own point. I always try to lead by example... To show everyone how I can put aside preconceptions and find new feelings, new ideas. Oh. Oh. # Do-do-do-do do-do-do # Do-do-do-do-do # Do-do... # So, you get a turkey baster and you... Is that singing? I can't hear anything. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! HE GROANS Where's the fucking remote? Oh, no. It's all right, you don't have to go. I'm sorry, Norma. I can't do it. It's my babies here I need. What are you talking about? I'm not coming back, Norm. And I am sorry to you three an' all, you went to so much trouble. Food was lovely, though. It's all right. I understand. Here. Cheers. So what are you going to do now? Are you gonna go home? Nah. She'll come round. She's just not thinking straight. She doesn't realise that she can have me as well as you lot, but she will and when she does I'll be here, waiting. You can use the inside toilets from now on if you want to. Thanks. Electricity, 40 a quarter, and I'll get you your rent book. Hey? We have to find a way of getting shot of her. We just have to... Sheila, will you... I'm not fighting her any more, Frank. If she wants the babies she's entitled to that. Yeah, but, Sheila... It's too exhausting, hate. Anyway, the best woman's won. I'm married to you now, there's nothing she can do about that. And if you love someone set them free. I'm sitting you free, Frank. I'm trusting you. Hey, hey. Hey! What you doing? There was too much sunlight yesterday. I'm feeling a bit insidey outsidey. Thought I'd make these for myself. 'Squidgy-gate. Camilla-gate. 'Watergate. Gareth Gates. 'I mean, what's it all about, eh? All these private secrets? 'What good does it do, eh, to let them out? 'All you get's a load of heartache and misery. 'And what you don't know can't hurt you, that's what I say. 'Ignorance is bliss. 'Plus, it must be true, I mean, look at George Bush. 'Thick as fucking shit, yet he smiles enough, doesn't he? ' Yee-haa! Subtitles by Renatinha Tankinha. **Some words used in this movie have been written as they are said, as they are fictitious words *** - As the eternal cycle of day and night continued, morning light unveiled the ravages of time self-inflicted calamity. A world that was nothing more than a baring indecent of rock floating in space. Then came the thundering engines of the scout ship bringing the first echoing sounds in over a million of years, to this arid landscape. For the celestial explorers, this was just another place to chart. Catalogue and investigate, like the thousands that had come before it. They hoped to find something. Evidence of life, perhaps. An ancient fossil signified that life had existed here, long ago. Then, the faint signal emanating form their device posed a question: Was this the product of an unknown intelligence? They followed the signal, which grew stronger, their scans indicating that just ahead was an object of massive proportions. Kneeling over the source of the signal, they carefully brushed back the sand and discovered a hatch. But to what? Once the handle was carefully turned, the hatch opened. Musty light led into the dark abyss exposing hundreds of metallic pods lining the chamber walls. Their fellow travelers were beckoned. And today, a wonderment of the parts contain the remnants of a long lost civilization. Affirming that this third planet from its sun was once abundant with life. With the impending end of their world their parts have been engineered in the hope that they would one day be discovered. In the living embryonic lifeforms induced with state of suspended animation would somehow be reborn into a new world. For the inhabitants of this new world once known as earth, it would be a new beginning. Anew age for mankind. Humanity would live, once again. - Evidences are roaming that there's a coverup, and that there are aliens visiting and so forth. I... I think we do need to recognize a new era has begun for mankind. - I happen to be privileged enough to be in on the fact that we have been visited on this planet. And the UFO phenomenon is real, although it's been covered up by governments for quite a long time. The United States government knew a whole lot more about UFOs than it was telling the American public. There's an intelligence involved that there was a highly evolved technology that to a degree we were carrying a dialogue with this intelligence. - 'Cause I read NATO military material that indicated that the UFOs were not only real, they represented something far beyond anything I had ever imagined before. -Could I get...$60 on pump four, please? - Sure. - Thanks. I understand over the years... some peculiar things have been happening around these parts. Cattle mutilations, strange lights in the sky, things of that sort. -No, I don't know anything about that. -Really? Okay. Set to go? - Yes, sir. -Son of a bitch. Yes.. -May I ask why you chose me? I've known who you are for some time now, you seem like an honest man. -I'm all about the truth. And if what you're about to tell me is the truth, am I to understand we're all in a very grave danger? -Yes. In five days, human existence as you know it, will forever change. -Why don't we start with your name? -Jaelen. -Jaelen? So, Jaelen, who are you? You're speaking of the Phoenix Lights incident? Are you trying to tell me you were aboard that craft? -Yes. -And where may I ask are you from, Jaelen? - A star system in the constellation Zanaté. I'm Andromaden. We were six. Our task was to monitor human conditions and to determine the degree of infiltration. -Infiltration by whom? -Alpha Draconians. -Draconians? - Andromadens are one of 139 planetary systems that comprise the interstellar alliance. We are and have always been the watchdogs of the universe for nearly two million years. And we have been at war with the Draconians for nearly 100, 000 of those years. They are a malevolent species whose prime directive is to conquer and destroy. Entire star systems have been wiped out by their aggression. - And now we've become a target? - You've always been a target. Three million of your population are comprised of these beings. They are the one percent that control corporations, government, media... Years ago, the nation's leader struck a deal with the Draconians. In exchange for global control, virtual enslavement of your people, a selected few would be granted amnesty from the coming onslaught. They would be allowed to live out their existence underground, many have already begun to do so. - And this onslaught, is this what's gonna happen in five days? - Two days ago, a Draconian warship reached the outer rim of your solar system. Their army is coming here to establish complete dominion. It has always been our intent to shield you from this threat. But we are entrenched in war and we haven't the means to bring the fleet here to protect you. It is to be your darkest age. As I promised. It's documents, photos, videos and maps of every secret military underground base on the planet. And plus complete data base of all occupants of those bases. - And you believe that this is enough to convince the public? -Regardless. In five days, they will all believe. - And you mention there wasn't an excuse for it? -Jaelen! -Please stop it. Stop it! -I don't know any of it. Just please... -Where is he? Where? - I'm special agent John Walker here on government business. May I borrow a pen and a piece of paper? -Sure. -Thank you. The gentleman in room 15 is under my protective custody. There are people looking for him. If anyone should come inquiring, I'd appreciate if you'd give me a call. It's a mater of national security, you see? -Okay. -Thank you. Are you feeling better? You gonna tell me what happened? -Not now. -Okay. -What time is it? -It's... uh... half past three. - We need to go. - Where? - We're meeting someone. - Who? -A friend. - You mentioned that there were six of you. Where are the others? -Gone. -As in left or died? -Died. - Well, I'm very sorry. - We were hunted down one by one. All that they died for is this. It's a Purean. It contains a collective data of human progression as well as Draconian war plans. Information that could be very helpful in our cause in overcoming them. - And how are you gonna get that to your people? - A rescue ship arrives tomorrow. - Tomorrow? -At sun fall. -So you're going home? -No. I'm not. Turn left up here. Your camera. -Your friend, is he... -From here? No. She's Arctorian. - I don't think I've ever met an Arctorian before. Is she part of this interstellar alliance? -They are. -Are they here to help us? -Very much so. -Good. That's good. -They're here. -My God. -This is Robert. - The one you spoke? - Yes. - I am Tonjura. I am pleased to meet you. -It's an honor to meet you. - We would like to extend our deepest regret. We cannot help you in this matter. We are not a violent species. And not equipped for war. I'm sorry, Robert. - The Arktorians have always been here. Silently monitoring human progress, along with several other races. But now they're all returning home. -You mean evacuating? So now we really are alone. -Yes. Thousands of years of accumulated human data ends here. - You could have gone back with them. Why didn't you? Or at least given them the Purian. - They've fulfilled their duties to the council. This is not one of them. And as I stated before, I'm not leaving. -Is this John? John Walker? - Yes, yes, this is John Walker. - It's Denise from the motel. You told me to call if anyone came inquiring. Well, there are government agents inside this room as we speak. Well, you didn't tell them anything, did you? - No. I didn't. But these guys have real badges. -Denise, I owe you big. There's government agents in your room right now. Somehow they knew we were there. Any idea how? -Yes. - Alright, We're gonna have to ditch this car and hitch a ride into Albuquerque, - What's in Albuquerque? - A friend. Whatever it is you're not telling me, Jaelen, I need to know. We're running out of time. -I was compelled by her. I began experiencing feelings I never had before. As if I were meant to find her. I felt myself avoiding better judgment that this was wrong. A forbidden code of conduct in my task here. I allowed it to happen, I wanted it to happen. Andromedans enforce a very structured mating ritual. A choice for companion is never our own and never random. We're conditioned this way from birth. Therefore there is never the opportunity for... -Falling in love? -Yes. - But did she know the truth about you? -I didn't have the time. But I couldn't stay in one place for to long, so the day approached when I had to tell her. I haven't been entirely honest with you. -What do you mean? -There are people looking for me. - Who's looking for you? Do you need any help? -I'm not from here. I'm not from Los Angeles, and I'm not from the United States. I'm not from earth. The people looking for me are getting close. They also are not from earth. -What do you... What do you mean you're not from earth? I don't... - Listen, I care about you deeply. - Then why are you telling me? - To protect you. -Uh... your ...association with me, I fear I'm putting you in danger as well. -Danger? How can you... how can you expect me to believe this? Please, just... make me understand. -Alyssa... there are things... there are worlds outside of this one you have no idea of. And I am from one of these worlds. I knew I would never see her again. I was devastated. But we are more connected than I even imagined. She could hear my thoughts. She could feel my pain in losing her. -You were... telepathically linked? -Yes. Without my intention. It just happened. Soon, we found each other again, and we left together, heading west. - Then what happened? - My worst fear. They found us. I managed to get away unharmed, but she was not so fortunate. -So you're saying that she's... - Dead? No. But they took her. -Do you know where she is? - She's a prisoner underground at the Base of Dulce. And they have been torturing her. - So the telepathic link between the two of you is how they tracked you? -Yes. -Look... uh... I have no idea what you must be going through right now. You never told me her name. -Her name is Alyssa. And she carries my child. - I've been an associate of Chayton's since the early 90's. He's devoted his life to researching anomalous phenomenon has established a strong following in the UFO arena. He was one of the first to get hold of the secret flying disk file of the FBI and sensitive documents from the CIA, air force, army and other government agencies. The price he's paid for being the truth to the public are death threats, imprisonment and getting shot at. He is a good man, and I trust him as I would a brother. - Thanks a lot, Derek. I appreciate it. Can you give us a moment? You don't know how good it is to see you, my friend Chayton. -Likewise. You look good. -I'm a lot better than I feel. Uh... this is the gentleman I was telling you about. Jaelen. -Welcome. -I'm gonna show him the footage. -Why don't we start with your name? -Jaelen. -Jaelen? So, Jaelen, who are you? - Our task was to monitor human conditions. And to determine the degree of infiltration. -Infiltration by whom? -Alpha Draconians. -Draconians? Jaelen! Jaelen, what's happened? Jaelen... -They took it, Robert. They took our baby. -Alright we gotta... we gotta go. - I'll take you to my house. - That'd be perfect. -It's safer. - Our army is coming here to establish complete dominion. It has always been our intent to shield you from this threat. But we are entrenched in war and we haven't the means to bring the fleet here to protect you. It is to be your darkest age. - Man, look at that. Look at that. Look at that. That's amazing. -Open that one. -Wow. -Open that one. That's amazing. Wow. - We're gonna set the world on fire with this. -And I think soon. - There, I got it. - Dude, we got a helicopter. Right behind there. See? -Oh shit, we gotta go. -Wow! The mother lode. - I think you're right. No, wait, wait, wait. Go back. Jaelen. Is this her? -It is. -Who is she? - A young woman Jaelen had the good taste to fall in love with. - You do have a good taste, my friend. -She's being held at the Dulce Base. I'm quite sure her friends and family would be interested to know that. - How soon would you be able to upload? -Right now. -Where are the files going into? -To an old compadre of mine. - They'll upload to sixty [ indistinct] globally. The initial launch should reach about 6 million people. What's ETA? -Just under four hours. - By morning the flood gates will be open. 35.39 degrees north. And 106 .54 degrees west. - Southwest corner of the Haines Canyon Reservoir. -Remember. Sun fall. You'll give them the Purean. And Robert, you can go with them. - Like you, Jaelen, there are people that I can't leave behind. Not with what's coming. - Where will you go? - Into the wolf's den. To be near the woman he loves. The Dulce base. -Are you sure you're not human? How will you get there? I will take you. Jaelen? -I'm fine. -Are you sure? [SPEAKS NATIVE AMERICAN TONGUE] Robert. [SPEAKS NATIVE AMERICAN TONGUE] Jaelen. [SPEAKS NATIVE AMERICAN TONGUE] Alyssa. [CONTINUES SPEAKING NATIVE AMERICAN TONGUE] [CONTINUES SPEAKING NATIVE AMERICAN TONGUE] [CONTINUES SPEAKING NATIVE AMERICAN TONGUE] -Despite the circumstances, I'm happy to have known you, Robert. -The feeling's mutual. -I hope that we've made a difference, you and I. -We have. Jaelen, I'd like to wish you good luck, but... -Luck won't help me. A miracle, perhaps. -Where will you go? -Chicago. I've got a niece there that I'm quite fond of and a brother who hasn't spoken to me in twenty years. He doesn't believe in all this UFO crap. -I see an exoneration in your near future, my friend. -Human eyesight has been deceived for thousands of years. -How so? -The moon is an artificial construct. it is a base where Alpha Draconians and other races have been manipulating human perception by means of a projected signal. In your way of understanding, they've hacked into the human consciousness. They programmed exactly what they want you to see. -Corroborating the stories that NASA adopted photos of bases on the moon's dark side. -The role of NASA in this deceit is greater than you imagine. -Stop right there. -You know it's coming. You know we're gonna lose. It's inevitable. What do you think you're gonna do? What do you think you can do? I'm a human being just like you. -No, you're not. -Are you there? -Yes. -He... took our baby. -I know. I'm so sorry. -Where are you? -I'm coming to you. -Aren't you going home? -No. -But they'll...kill you. Please... stay away. -I can't. -If I don't hear from you again, I love you. What will life be like there? -Harmonious. Tranquil. Our planet is a single continent. Two suns... no seasons. It's a constant temperature. -Are there any oceans? -There is one. Our water's of a different consistency, different color, it contains all the nutrients that we require. There is no need for food. Though we're at war, we will live in a safe zone. Our child will be shielded from the dangers coming near. Time is different there. your lifespan will be three times what it is here on Earth. -Really? -We're free of all diseases and all the illnesses. -It's starting to sound like paradise. -With you there, it will be. -Get out of the vehicle now! Cross your legs, put your hands on your head. Cross your legs! -Chayton! Chayton! Robert... Robert, can you hear me? Robert, are you there? -Jaelen. -I'm speaking to you with my thoughts. -Where are you? -They have me in captivity. And Robert... they killed Chayton. There was nothing I could do. I'm inside the base. I'm where I need to be. -Yeah. Yeah, it's me. Now, listen to me very carefully. In about 40 minutes you'll have the files to upload. Text me when it's done, but do not, I repeat, do not do anything until you hear from me. If you don't hear from me by this time tomorrow, launch. Is that clear? Yeah. -I'll keep this brief, Jaelen. Knowing the impossibility of rescuing your companion, I can only imagine that you came here in the hopes to see her. To be with her. This was a misjudgment. We will not grant this union. As for yourself, like your five companions before you, you will be dissected and studied by our scientists, in hopes that we might better understand your telepathic abilities. You may be aware that one of our duties here is to see to the... appetites of our hosts. Your companion will be euthanized, and parts of her extracted, for the delicacies. As for the son you've fathered, he'll be taken to Capella, where in manhood he will serve as a Draconian agent. He and ten will father hybrids who will also serve in this capacity. So you see, you will be serving a significant contribution to the Draconian cause. And for this we are grateful. -The Dulce Base is located beneath the Archuleta Mesa It's size is 4.6 miles in diameter. The base has seven levels. The last two of which are designated for lab experimentation. These tests are carried out by humans and Draconians. It's the sixth level where Alyssa is being held. One of the secret entrances is on the Mesa itself. The location was delivered to us by one of our allies contained on the disk drive I gave you. -Can't you just get her to walk in the back door? -Unless they find me first. -What makes you think they won't kill you? -It's a chance I'm willing to take. -She must be a very special woman. -Yes. I'm here, Alyssa. Where are you? Why don't you answer me? -Welcome, Mr. Casey. -Check him. -And who, may I ask, are you? -Marek Thai is Trea. -Let me guess: Draconians? -We are. -Well, then I'm certainly not pleased to meet you. -It's clean where I found this. -Whatever your reason is for coming here, understand we have no intention nor interest in keeping you alive. -So I'm dead either way, right? -Correct. No one will be spared. -Why? -The Earth's position in the solar system provides us with a strategic and tactile advantage. -Robert, the human role in the universe is inconsequential. -That may be so, but we have a right to exist. -Only if we allow it. -And we don't. -Well, before you start waving your victory flag, might I suggest examining the contents of the drive you hold in your hand? I think you'll find it very consequential. -Alright. Take him. And Robert, Jaelen had something we very much want. It's a Grey stone that contains crystals. -What? You mean the Parean? -Yes. You wouldn't know where it is, would you? -Sure. it's right here. -Alright, 300 self-retraining tractor, please. -Preparing Euthanization. -It's time, Jaelen. -Good. So... -So, it would seem that your drive contains sensitive information that some of you find distressing. However, all it can serve is to tell people what they'll find out anyway in four days. -I mean, yes... but you're forgetting one thing. The locations of all your hidden bases and their secret entrances. What do you think? I just waltzed in here? I want you to think of tens of thousands of me storming your underground castles with automatic weapons. You'll have one hell of a shit storm to contend with. And don't think for one moment it won't happen. Vengeance and survival at all costs are two very profound impulses we humans have. -I see. So am I then, to understand that this information has not yet been released? -No, it hasn't. But if I don't make a phone call, it will go viral to a few million people. By sun down, your phones will be ringing off the hook and in a few days, you'll be running from a shower of bullets. Now, I also have the power to keep it from going out at all. And then you cowards can hide down here in your underground fortress without any worries. -And why should we trust you? -Because I'm not so eager to hand out doomsday news to the world. These last few days of life are all we have left. Why spoil it? -Indeed. Alright. What are you terms in exchange for this? An arrangement's been made. -No... When I know they're safe. -Yes. It's done. -You're safe now. We are grateful. -Yeah, it's me. Launch. -You have betrayed your promise to me! -On behalf of the 7.1 billion humans on this planet earth that you have condemned, Fuck you! -The day that was mankind's darkest came and the invasion began. At first, the take over was not so easy. The resistance from humans was formidable, but in time, futile. Most of the underground bases were stormed, many died, Within weeks, the genocide had begun. By the time our fleet returned months later, nearly one half of all humans had been exterminated. In a battle that raged for many days, our fleet managed to rescue nearly three million humans. It was our only return to earth. By now, it is certain that the remaining human population is long gone. The ones rescued represent all that is left of mankind. The Arcturus constellation is a planet very much like Earth and non-inhabited. Known as Boötes, it is here where humans have already begun their renaissance. Free of war, instability, and oppression. the rebirth has been prosperous. As the Science Officer of the Andromedan Council, I often frequent with Alyssa at my side to monitor human development. And I am often reminded of the final passage of one of Robert's short stories. For the inhabitants of this planet once known as earth, it would be a new beginning, a new age for mankind. Humanity would live... once again. The end Mmm... Mmm... You gotta wrap it up, Teddy. We're closing for the afternoon, but we'll be back in a few hours for the dinner rush. I'm ready! Let's go! - Why do you have two bottles of wine? - What? It's a wine train. Ooh. You guys going on the wine train? Uh, you get the wine on the train, Lin. You don't have to bring it. Oh... Otherwise, it would be just called a train. Right. Lin, you're sure kids are allowed on this thing? It says right here in the brochure, "Kids are allowed." It says, "Kids are allowed, "but not welcome." Like in the health and sexuality section at the bookstore. - Where's Gene? - He's picking out his outfit. I'm gonna be Boxcar Gene! Gene, why do you look like Dexy from Dexy's Midnight Runners? - 'Cause we're going on a train! - Well, go put a shirt on. Next thing, you're gonna be telling me to go put on underwear. Put on underwear. Okay. You folks will be seated right here in passenger car one with the big grapes. And I'm gonna take these little raisins back to the end of the vine. - Bye, Mom. - Bye! Whoa! It's the biggest chocolate fountain on a train in North and South America. The world's biggest is in Guatemala. I did not know chocolate came from fountains. I want to put my head in it. And my feet. Ethan, thank you very much for the guided tour. Uh, looks like we'll be setting up shop here for the day. For your troubles. Uh-uh, no-no-no-no-no, no-no-no... no. Oh, here you go, one more for you. Uh, kids... no. I'm sorry. Okay, one more for you. Oh. Ye... actually, uh... Thank you, Ethan. if you could put that down. Kids aren't allowed anywhere near the buffet, or the passenger cars. But you are absolutely welcome to... the Juice Caboose! Ugh, what a dump. Hey, there's someone there. Regular Sized Rudy? Louise, Gene, Tina... what are you doing here? Hold on, Beanbag, I'll be right back. I know these guys from school. Um... do you live here? My dad has me on the weekends. He's been online dating and he brings his dates here. But, on the bright side, I get to hang out with ol' Beanbag here. Up top, Beanbag. Boom! Yep. We see a lot of Rudy. Okay... rules: One, you can't leave the Juice Caboose for the duration of the trip. Two, don't bother me. And three, uh... always believe in yourself. Thanks. We can't leave the Juice Caboose? Are you kidding me? ! Get comfy, 'cause this room is your life for the next four hours. But there's nothing to do! Open this door! I can't hear you! The train's too loud... honk, honk. Honk, honk? ! Trains don't make that noise! All right, this is gonna be great. We have a babysitter and a lot of alcohol. Wait, don't do... No, don't do it! It's a tasting. You're supposed to swirl it around and shake the glass to open it up, or something. Hey, open up, wine! Linda's coming in. Uh, okay. Well, you do that. I'm just gonna drink a lot of wine. That guy must really know what he's doing. Why, because he's slurping? Mm... Ugh! Oh, my. Excuse me! Hey! Hi! Are you some kind of an expert? I just overheard you doing that sound... Oh. I'm a wine enthusiast. Although I'm not enthused by this first flight. Oh! He's hysterical. You should come taste with us. Oh! You can give us tips on how to get tipsy. Sure. Lin, no. I don't want to drink with that guy. Why? I do, Bobby. He's an expert. Well, I was looking forward to a relaxing day off. I wasn't even gonna talk to you that much, to be honest. I just don't want to drink with the guy... Hi... Look who's here? I'm Rick. I love Italian wines, German cars and Japanese women. I'm Linda! I love showers and mornings and bologna and turtles. And wine! I'm Bob. Well, it looks like we are going to be a tasting trio for the afternoon. Jambo. It means cheers. Cheers! "Cheers!" Come on, Bob. If we don't clink, it's not a real Jambo. Mm-hmm. Jambo! Jambo. Jambo...! Jambo...! Jambo...! Uh, okay. - Jambo...! - Jambo...! No more Jambo. Usually I'm by myself, but since you guys are here, maybe we could take turns sitting on Beanbag. Is that okay with you, Beanbag? Rudy, how can you just sit there, when there's a chocolate fountain behind this door being unappreciated by a bunch of drunk adults? It's being wasted on the wasted! There's got to be a way out of here. There's a hatch in the ceiling. Here, give me a boost. Ahh...! It's hot! Bad idea! Bad idea! - Put me down! - Okay. Thank you. Okay. Nobody panic. We're only in here for two hours. Four hours. Four hours! "Four hours...!" Oh, my God. You know, if you ever want to get serious about wine, you really have to lose the mustache. True, 'cause it gets all caught up in there. Mm-hmm. That makes sense. - Yeah. Pee-ew! Be a lot easier if you just shaved it. I'd rather not, Rick. I'm not shaving it. I didn't bring shaving equipment. Bobby, quit being a pinot grouchio! Look, I'm perfectly happy enjoying my wine, staring out the window at that... kid on a bike, going the same speed as us? And we are friends. I call him Ramon. Hi, Ramon! What? Hi! I can't hear you. What? I... I can't hear you. I'm in a train. Okay, have a nice bike ride. Whoa. Ramon just threw a rock at me. We're still friends. What kind of God would put a chocolate fountain on a train and not let kids near it? ! Yeah! Learn how to build a train, God! Well... the chocolate fountain is impressive, but the real supply's all the way up front. What do you mean, "The real supply?" There's way more chocolate up in the kitchen. I've seen them load boxes and boxes of it in there. Well, then, are you guys thinking what I'm thinking? That I need a bath? Oh, yeah. You do. No. We break out of here and steal the chocolate from the front of the train! I'd do that. I'm in. Great! The Belcher kids ride again! For the first time! And Rudy! Is there. Okay, if we're gonna rob this train, we need to take it step by step. Luckily, Rudy has been trapped in this caboose for the last nine weekends doing some serious recon. I see everything out this window. Once, a skunk got on the train for a little bit and then it got off and I was the only one to notice. Just take us through the logistics, Train Brain. Okay. Each of these blocks is a train car. This is taking too long! I need chocolate! Gene, quiet. Sorry. It's okay. Now, this is us here in the Juice Caboose. I can see us in there. Just kidding. We're not inside a block. Tina! Okay. The only time the door to the caboose in unlocked, is when Ethan makes a juice box delivery, every hour on the hour. Every hour on the hour. Sounds like a robot. Wait! What if Ethan is a robot! ? Gene! Focus! You guys are embarrassing me. In front of Rudy, which is hard! Even if we get out of here, you still have to get all the way up to the kitchen car. The chocolate is kept inside the chocolatier's refrigerator. He's from Germany. The chocolate's from Switzerland. - We're from America. - Yeah...! Now, the only time the kitchen is empty is when it's a passenger's birthday and the whole staff comes out to sing the "Chugga Chugga Choo Choo Happy Birthday To You" song. So, we know how to get in, but how do we get out? I think I know how, but it's a little dangerous. Like sandwiches with toothpicks in them dangerous? Even more dangerous than that. Like eating a bomb? In between. Like eating a firecracker. Yeah. Okay. Here's what we're gonna do. Well... aren't you kids playing nice. Hey, Ethan, over here. Look at my face and hands while I'm talking. I just want you to know it's my mom's birthday today. Um, it isn't June 3, it's today. Okay. Wait, I have some questions for you. Uh-huh. Um, what does "Ethan" mean? Um... Sounds like how Shakespeare Huh? So, maybe that's where it comes from? Yeah. I don't know. Maybe. Next question, uh... if a train leaves New York at 4:00, and another train leaves Dallas at 5:00, what time will they meet? Uh... Great. Well, I'm kind of busy right now, so I'm gonna have to let you go. Have fun at my mom's birthday. Bye. Uh... do you want juice? ! No! Uh, maybe... uh, ye... no, ye... ahh...! Mm. I like this one. Ugh! You think you do, but you don't. What do I think of this wine? Great question. Here's what you think. Hey, Ethan. How's Rudy? How's Beanbag? Uh, they're great. Beanbag's great. Rudy's such a delight. I just dropped off some juice for them. Can I get a cranberry juice? Uh-oh... Coming right up. Um, who's Rudy? - He's my son. - You have a son? Mandy, you know, I might have left a little information off my E-Kiss profile, but that was just for readability. So, you look nothing like your profile picture and you have a son? Uh-huh. Okay. So, your face is saying one thing... No. No. I love kids. Okay. Will you ma... I love kids. Can you make eye contact with me? I am. Aren't I? No. You're looking at my chin. No. That's, that's your... I'll just get below here. How 'bout now? No. Na... I have a son. Are you cool with that? I gotta take a nap. Okay. Whew! Oh, there it is. Here you go. We've got a birthday, people. Places. Ready? Here we go, everyone. Five, six, seven and... Everybody watch your back the birthday train is on the track! Well, hello, there. Put some wine in your glass, 'cause your life is moving fast, so drink your day away. Honk, honk! What's happening? ! It's not my... Happy Birthday, Linda! Oh, it is my birthday... Don't worry, I'm gonna get you out of here. Yay! And then I'm gonna eat you. No...! Shush! Where is she? She should be out there by now! Who's that? I don't know... it's too early for Ethan to come back. Aah! I'm not decent! Come back later! Thank you! I must use the kerplunker! There's a line for the other one. Make it fast. Don't tell me, make it fast. Just go. Don't tell me, just go. Just da... ah... Make some noise. Sing songs or something. Look, look... look at the legs on the glass. You see the legs? I see fe... it looks like feet. Oh, Linda. You're such a sweet, simple person. Thanks. Wait, what? Look, Rick, you're not the only person with taste. We happen to own a restaurant. Whoa-ho! It's not a competition, Bob. I didn't say it was. Sounds like this guy wants to have a wine-off! What? ! Wine-off? Ooh, wine-off. Wine-off. Wine-off. There's gonna be a wine-off. We got a wine-off! Oh, my goodness. It's going down. Hey... oh, s... Sorry, sorry. Uh, da, da, da. Too soon? Too... too much? Don't. Yeah, just... My space. I thought the train was crashing. Sorry. Trying to save you. Whew. Okay, this is scarier than I thought. Uh, no big deal, Louise. Just jump off a moving train. Come on. One, two, three! Wow. That train is not moving very fast. This window won't open. That's why we need to get back in there. Could pick up the pace. You're not going fast enough. I am too going fast enough. No job is done until the paperwork is complete. Stand by. Where the hell is Rudy? Okay. Oh, boy! Oh, oh... Oh, wow... It's not that bad. You're making a big deal. Wow. You're making... Come on. It's like my grandpa. It's not that bad. Where the hell have you been? Pull me up. Hand me the chocolate and then I'll pull you up. Hand you the chocolates? Yeah. And then I'll pull you up. How do I know that once I hand you the chocolate you're not gonna just leave me out here and take the chocolate? I wouldn't do that. That's what I would do. That's so mean. Look, if you don't take this chocolate and leave me out here, then I can't work with you. Please give me the chocolate so I can pull you up. Fine. Okay, Gene. You hold onto me. Got it. Tina, you hold onto me. Great. And then I'll hold onto something in the bathroom. And pretend it's a person holding onto me. Like a boy or an 18-year-old boy. Okay. We're ready. Ah... no. Bang-up job, everybody. We got the chocolate in the caboose. Like we planned. The only problem is is that we are not in the caboose! At least we have toilet paper. You guys want any? Thank you. Ugh! Well, we're stranded. Our chocolate's on the train, and there's nothing around here for miles. My boy-dar isn't picking up anything, either. Oh, wait... no, that's a deer. We've got to get back to that chocolate before somebody else does. Guys, we're gonna be okay. The train's coming right back here. Wait, what? The train goes down, goes around Lake Waste Water, and comes right back. It should back in 15 minutes, so we should just jump on it. But when is Ethan gonna stop by the Juice Caboose with his next delivery? Let me check my watch. In exactly... 15 minutes! This is gonna be close. Mmm. Speak to me. You're hiding from me. I'll find you. Ooh... You have got a lot goin' on here, girl. Ugh. Ah, there you are. A California Central Coast Syrah. Okay, Bobby. Now you taste your wine. This one is probably... wine. I would say red. Or it could be white. I'm also realizing that I'm not as good at this as I thought I'd be. No, you're not. Chablis is a wine, right? You guys aren't answering me. I'm gonna say that's a good sign. I'm going with Chablis. Oh, I'm sorry, Bobby. You're not good at this. Poor Bob. I can't see your sad, pathetic face right now, but I bet it's crying. I'll tell you what. Linda, pick any wine. It can even be a wine he knows. Any wine? If you can get one wine right, just one, you win the whole competition. In fact, you could pick a wine he had last night. I'll still know it before he does. Ooh, bonus round. Whoever says what it is first, wins. What's the point? You can do this, Bobby. No, I can't. Look at me, Bobby. I-I can't. Yes you can. I have a blindfold on. Well, you can do the mystery wine. All right, fine. Pour it. At least I'll get drunk-ish. That's it, Bobby. Hey, look what's coming around the mountain. The train. Just kidding about the mountain, uh, but the train is... remember that song? Uh-oh. Guys, she's coming back faster. This only happens when the train's running behind schedule or this one time when they ran out of rosé and things got weird. It's starting to look kind of like a real train now. Like fast, and dangerous. We could just get a cab. Oh, look, there's Ethan. He's headed toward the Juice Caboose! We need to jump on now, guys. Come on. Hobos do this everyday. I don't understand it. Cliff! You think my name is Cliff? Oh, my God, I love it. I'm Cliff now. Call me Cliff. No, just to clarify: Cliff! We have to get on that train now! We're running out of dry land! I have to go back for my bandana. It's made of cotton! Leave it! Leave it! Oh, damn it! You chose chocolate. It's what your bandana I guess. Oh, no. Now my overalls are stuck. What's going on with my outfit? Do something, Gene! He's almost here! Aah! We have to hide the chocolate. Oh... Where are we going to hide it? I don't know. Oh, no. Oh, no! Oh, boy. Oh, oh... Oh, boy, oh, boy! Ow. Hey, kiddies. Got your juice. Oh, thanks, Ethan. Thanks so much, buddy. We can always count on you for juice and juice-related things and... really just juice. But we love juice. Are you kids okay? Oh, we're just great, thanks. Last juice of the day. Great. Uh, cran-apple? Wait a minute. Something's up. Why are you out of breath? Well, my trachea constricts due to histamines that my body produces... Okay, okay, Rudy, stop talking. Why are your shoes muddy? Because I'm-I'm poor. Oh, I'm so poor. And why are you in your underwear? Because I am rich. There's been a burglary. Somebody stole my chocolate! I am very shocked by that. Okay, what was rule number two? Always believe in yourself? No! Don't bother me. Stealing is bothering. Nobody steals anything on my shift. Yeah! Wha... we've been locked in here all day. I don't buy it. I don't buy it, either. I think I know who likes chocolate. Everybody. Yes, right. But especially kids. I heard this one say she wants to put her face and her feet in it. I stand by that. It's gotta be in here somewhere. Would you be dumb enough to hide it in here? I guess you're dumb enough to think we would hide it in there, Ethan. Yeah, you gorgeous idiot. Or maybe you kids hid it in the bathroom. Whew...! Eh, maybe give it a minute in there. It's not in there. Get up, Rudy. N-No. Beans didn't do anything. He doesn't have a malicious bean in his bag. No! No! Don't you touch Beanbag! No! All right! Bonus round. Winner takes all. Ready... and drink. I know what it is. Oh, you know? From one sip. Yep. So Bob knows it. Say it. I'll give you a chance here. You take a guess. Oh, he's giving Rick a chance. You don't know it. Talk to me, Goose. Get inside me. Take your shoes off. Make yourself comfortable. The wine's inside of Rick. Getting comfortable. Okay. It's a blend... Yeah, it's definitely a blend. I'm getting a few things here. It's very complex. Take another sip, Rick. This is gettin' good. Oh, I guess I was wrong. I hope you're happy. He was beautiful. Well, whatever. Enjoy the rest of your ride. I'll go check the busboys. Somebody has the chocolate. Hey, uh... I'm sorry you kids had to see that. But, uh... it's a hard life on the rails. Yup, yup, so true. So wise. You should teach a class. Bye! I should. You guys sure you don't want any more juice? We don't want any more juice. Get out of here, Ethan. Okay, okay. See you next week, Rudy. We cool? Yeah, yeah. We're cool. Just go. All right. Doesn't sound like we're cool. We're cool! Okay, bye. Everybody, open your mouths. Delicious. It's so delicious. Num, num, num... Pace yourself. Pace yourself. Who are you? I know we've met. You're embarrassing me. All right, Rick. Stop stalling. Fine. It's very viscous. It's a... Cab-Merlot blend. Okay, okay, okay. Bob, do you know what the wine is? It is a blend. But it's a blend of spit. Because it's from the spit bucket! What? He's right. Bobby wins. What? ! You drank spit, Rick. You drank a lot of it. What? You poured that from the spit bucket? Why did you do that? Because I knew Bob would know what it was. Why would Bob know that? Because we went to see Sideways, and after that we went to the wine bar and I bet Bob he wouldn't drink from the spit bucket and he did. That's disgusting. And that's how you win a wine-off. Ah! Wine fight! No, no, no. Not the jacket. Not-not the turtleneck, it's cashmere. That's for lying on your profile. I'm sorry. Look, I'm a middle-aged man who's just trying to get back out there and... Mandy, I really like you. That's for making me fall for you. Aw, they're in love. Ah, my face! We got our very own chocolate fountain! Some of it just went down my underwear. I like it. This is the best weekend of my life. It doesn't even matter that I'm allergic to chocolate. Rudy, what? Ugh, stop eating it, then. Oh, 'cause I'm allergic to it? Yeah, what happens when you eat it? I don't know, I've never eaten it. I don't know what... Rudy! Rudy! Just kidding. Damn it, Rudy. It's not that bad. I just get a rash on my back. There's my babies. Why are you covered in chocolate? Why are you covered in wine? Don't ask questions. Yeah, ditto. Oh. I feel like I French-kissed the whole train. Uh... yum. Hey, Mom, did you have a nice birthday at least? I did. Wait, who told you it was my birthday? Oh, look, there's Ethan. - He's yelling something. - Oh, hey, Ethan, we found your chocolate. It's on our faces and in our tummies. No! Them! They did it. They took the chocolate! It was them, they took the chocolate! So that's the bridge. So, now, if you guys were to do an intro just by yourselves... Like we were marching down the street to it. Even though it's this, like, that would be like I imagine that's kind of like it. We should open the fucking doors, man. _ You hear about different cultures around the world trying to preserve their history. Native Americans hand down stories from generation to generation. And you have museums all over the world preserving art and culture. I honestly believe that we should be doing the same thing just with music. That's what this place is all about. The pace of the city has a lot to do with how we feel about things. Those paddle wheels make a distinctive rhythm. A streetcar going down St. Charles Avenue... making this clackety-clackety sound. We have become complacent with some old-world charm. Oh, man, when you get steeped in the history, you get seduced by it. You go to sleep with live music, you wake up with live music. Literally. It's just like no other place on the earth. Being from here is in the fabric of what we do. No matter what type of music we're playing, you'll hear New Orleans there. A city like New Orleans, I was so drawn to it, because in a way, that's what this entire series is all about. Rock 'n' roll is really the evolution of jazz. When Louis Armstrong's "Hot Seven" albums first came out, people lost their minds. It was punk rock, you know? It was out of control. A lot of the jazz musicians became the first wave of rock 'n' roll musicians. I went there to be educated, because I never went to school. And I thought, "I'm gonna go to where the stuff came out of the ground naturally, you know? You can't speak of New Orleans without speaking of Dr. John. Now leave a little room for me! Most people I talk to don't call you "Dr. John." Well, my name is really Mac Rebennack. Where are you from? I'm from the Third Ward. Same ward where Louis Armstrong came from. Every time I walked past where Louis Armstrong used to live, he'd say, "If you want to do something bad enough, you can do it." It made me think. That's what Louis came up in. That was good enough for me. Was it a musical family? Well, my aunt Dottie Mae used to play piano with Pete Fountain and George Girard... All of the cats that became famous later. I just remember she knew how to play that style that was called "butterfly stride." She used to say, "Watch the piano player's left hand. That's important." That's what I did. She was a very special person. If you're from New Orleans the way we are, you're not just from New Orleans. Like, you're four generations, five generations from New Orleans. Growing up and being, like, the son of a musician is a badge of honor in New Orleans, you know? - Hi, I'm Dave. - Good to see you, man. - How are you? - Very nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. - I'm James. - Nice to meet you. - What do you play? - Saxophone. - Oh, shit. _ When I think of New Orleans, I don't think of recording studios, really. I just think of hundreds of years of music. Preservation Hall really took hold after the hurricane when people realized that there was something to lose. Look at this guy. Wow. Yeah. What a trip. This is a trip. It was a little tricky because Preservation Jazz Hall is not used to a blaring rock band. We moved the drums across the room from traditionally where they play, which opened up the sound a little bit. Then we moved their amps... Just baffled them enough so it wasn't completely collapsing the room with volume. It's funny because you can hear people walking by on the street. You hear the horses clip-clop by and the carriages, and people peering in the windows and the street performers strolling by. Our microphones catch miscellaneous noises going on, and that's part of the charm. Where's Ben Jaffe? Hey, Ben! Is it gonna be okay that we record here? This is so cool! This is like my childhood dream come true! Oh, my God, this is gonna be so crazy. Wow. Has anyone made noise in here yet? - We get pretty loud. - Do you? Yeah, yeah. No, don't be worried about the volume. - Okay. - Yeah. How much has it changed? - Zero. - "Zero." Really, zero? It was how my parent... You know, they wanted to keep it just like they walked into it. - Yeah. - And that's what they did. They just said "We're never gonna change... Change it from that experience," you know. Rad! Well, I'm going to Pat O'Brien's. I'll see you guys. This place is so thick with vibe. You know? You just feel like, the sweat of generations you know, pouring off the walls. To see all our gear in there is a trip, you know? It's so out of... It just seemed out of place. Like, "Fuck, I hope we don't rattle the fucking building down or whatever, with the volume," you know? Originally it was built as a Spanish tavern. And then over the years it's been a lot of things. It was a photo studio where most of uptown aristocracy would come downtown and get their photos taken. So you'd go into people's houses on St. Charles Avenue and you'd see their portraits in their Mardi Gras gowns and they're in the courtyard of Preservation Hall. This is our control room. Oh, my God, this is cool. Wow, this takes the cake, dude. This is the one. Thought you would enjoy it. Oh, my God! Butch is gonna freak out. Wow. Is that your dad? - Yeah, that's... - No way. Yeah, looking down on us. Uh-oh. Better do something good. So how did your dad start Preservation Hall? He had played tuba. He went to military high school on a tuba scholarship. But, you know, in college he was a business major and, you know, didn't really think of himself as... Definitely was not a jazz tuba player. He was a marching band tuba player. And when he got to New Orleans they discovered this whole tradition of marching bands. What we have here is called "jazz funerals." You know, the first part of the ceremony is slow dirge music. Back in the day it was more like marching bands. They were real uniform and polished. We're talking before integration here, when the black cemeteries was way out of town. They'd play solemn music. When they "cut the body loose," as they called it, and turned back around, the band would crank up. Got to take that long walk back. It certainly is hipper to dance and strut back than it would be to walk back. The brass band that was playing in front would be considered the "first line." But then that "second line" of people are the people who heard the drums. Just the everyday people on the street. People who don't even know who it is that's dead. Thousands and thousands of people with these brass instruments, drums... Jumping up in the street. It's just a beautiful thing. My parents came across one of these bands the first week they were in town and they followed the band through the French Quarter, and they ended up back at this art gallery on St. Peter's Street two blocks from Jackson Square. And they met... All of these people they met... Artists and writers and poets and actors and photographers. They all congregated in this one gallery. For whatever reason, this was like, the meeting place for everybody, and that eventually became Preservation Hall. - Ain't it cool? - What the fuck, dude? Have you been here before? No. What, Taylor, is it? This is Ben. This is Ben. You guys, this is Ben Jaffe. - Hi, Ben! - This is his place. - Beautiful. - Oh, my God, thanks. His dad ran this place for a really super long time. So what do they do here now? They play music seven nights a week. - Well, there it is. - Live music. So it's like a bar, kind of, basically. Uh, it's not a bar. New Orleans people of course are aware their jazz heritage is disappearing and some are trying somehow to save the only art form that is strictly, entirely American. One effort to save it is here at Preservation Hall. When I was a kid, the French Quarter was kind of off-limits to people like me. This was 1961, so this was the segregated South, you know? Mr. Jaffe integrated things long before anybody else thought about it. This was one of the few places where black and white people would come together to listen to music. It was the only place. It was the place. And my parents risked a lot by being open about it... Their policies... And outspoken about it. Yeah. It was very difficult to hear New Orleans jazz in New Orleans a few years ago. So we rented an old art gallery and began Preservation Hall. Both of your parents took the responsibility? Yeah, well, my mom was like the bouncer. She sat at the gate all night collecting money and like, deciding on who would get in and who wouldn't, because people would be rowdy. And my dad was the guy who was going around town locating musicians and putting the bands together and kind of keeping the place physically in shape. People are sitting on wooden benches, sitting on the floor. There's no drinks. Pretty hot in here, too, in the summer. People come to hear the music. People hear it. That music was dying. You know, trad jazz like that was dying. Ben's dad bought that place and started putting on those... They were performing for tourists. People that came to New Orleans expecting to hear jazz and they couldn't find it anywhere, they could find it at Pres. Hall. Preservation Hall... Now that's where you'll find all the greats. And when I was a teenager, the ones that's still alive? That's where they're playing now. And that's where all the people all over the world the minute they hit New Orleans, the first place they want to know... Where Preservation Hall is. When you become a member of the Preservation Hall band, you come up through the ranks. Our clarinet player, Charlie Gabriel, he's 82. So what we were thinking for an intro was to do a variation of that riff, - but swing it a little more. - Okay, do the riff. He's a fourth-generation musician. And then you play around it. His great-great-grandfather was a musician in New Orleans in the 1840s. Our trumpet player, fourth-generation. And our drummer, you know, fourth-generation. Yeah, I think we should just go round everyone up and just start playing, and then we'll hit "record." - All right, that sounds like a winner. - Sounds fun? You can't create that, you know. And we wouldn't exist if that didn't exist. It's just wonderful how it gets passed along and passed along here. What's it like to play in that room? It's great. No microphones, no nothing. Only about, I think, a hundred people can fit in there at the most... and they're right on you. So whenever I play my trombone solo I got to stand all the way in back. I might hit somebody. That's how close they are. This is, like, the last place. It really is. I mean, now the name of the joint's becoming literal, you know, because it's... It's, like, the last place. New Orleans has been my biggest inspiration in music in my adult life. I mean, I really got into Dr. John and Professor Longhair. Not that I can play like 'Fess or Dr. John. When Dave mentioned we were going there, I'm like, "We're going where? What?" It's been like this kind of like, temple for me to go every time I stop in. That first day, I look at my e-mail of kind of what's going on the first day, just setting up. And it says, "Dave, interview Allen Toussaint." I'm like, "What? Holy shit." I'm like, "Oh, this is gonna be a really good week." Definitely a bucket list situation. Okay, the first question I always ask everybody is, "Where are you from?" Oh, I'm from New Orleans. Very much so, yes. I was raised in an area called Gert Town, which is right here in town. What do you remember about that time? You know, this city was still segregated in so many ways. That's true, but we would integrate with each other 'cause we had accepted the fact "You're a musician, too. Of course we're gonna play something." Like, I don't remember when Mac was "segregated." He and I were playing on recordings together, and from way back, we would just go find each other and play together in various places. It was actually on the law books that it was against the law for black and white musicians to perform on the same stage, you know, be in the same room, and all this kind of stuff. In fact, Mac went to jail from being in the Dew Drop. I was really pissed off. There was these two police. I'm thinking, "Aw, shit. They gonna break my legs." The story goes, he looked around and said, "Y'all get ready to come back and get me next week, 'cause Ray Charles playing here and I'm coming back." It just seemed jive to me. That's life back then. He was a wonderful guitarist. We were 15 and 16 during that time. I didn't know he was going to turn out to be such a great pianist. If I hadn't got shot in my finger, I would probably still be playing the guitar. What? Really? That's fucking crazy. How did that happen? Well, this guy was pistol-whipping the singer of my band. This was a problem. His mamae was cutting some meat, and she told me if anything happened to him while he was on the road with me, "I'm gonna chop your cajones off." I remembered that. It kind of freaked me out. Anyway, when I was hitting the guy, the gun went off. It was really crazy. They sewed it back on, but they didn't, ya know, do the greatest of a job. But that's life. You gotta roll with it. If you don't roll with it, you're gonna roll under it. He was a great musician, anyway. If he would have been playing saxophone, he would have been great on that. When I was growing up, part of the scene was my living room. The Neville family was extremely important to our music. I mean, they are the first family of funk. At times I'd come into the living room at my house, and there he was standing up in the living room talking to my brothers. All these cats was great. Sometimes I would be handed the drumsticks. I always prayed that I could make people feel the same way Ray Charles made me feel. Those cats would always make a good blend. We was always playing it together from way back in the game. It was slamming. Mac became "Dr. John." Seemed like a whole 'nother life... Another person came in and started something new over here. He's a character, man. - What's his deal? - He's an original cat. He's cooler than you. And he's cooler than everybody you'll ever meet. Did you create Dr. John to be a front man? No. I was gonna make Ronnie Barron be "Dr. John," and I was gonna call him "Reverend Ether." Frank Sinatra's manager or arranger, or whatever the hell he was, said, "If Sonny and 'Cheryl' could sing, and if Bob Dylan could sing, you could sing, asshole." I think he hit a raw nerve with me and it hit home. He's amazing, you know? It's like, everything that he plays is the best thing ever. It's perfectly behind the beat. Everything he knows about music is so pure and so... complete. It's like, nasty and dirty, but intelligent and, uh... you can hear a million years of music in everything he does. It's that guy's bachelor party this week. I fucking met that dude yesterday. Right there. That dude with the fucking headband and the sunglasses. - Oh, not him. - No way! Yep. I told him we were playing here tonight. And his dad! He's with his dad! What's up? Look, dude's in the headband. He brought his dad on his bach' party. They're fucking down. Allen Toussaint. He's like, the guru, man. It's been a long time since I didn't know who Allen Toussaint was. He's written every famous song that is known for being New Orleans. Everybody that I grew up listening to, Allen had something to do with it, you know? I mean, everything from all of Irma Thomas' stuff, all of my brother Aaron's stuff. Lee Dorsey. He wasn't just the cat writing the songs. He actually was the cat in the studio that was making that stuff sound like that. Please stop it, now. That's what I wanted to know how to do... Write the songs and then make people love 'em and go buy 'em. And he was a master at it. Okay, ladies. I don't think you ought to make that in the middle of that. I think you should wait till the verse comes up. There's certain things you could tell that's an "Allen thing." One of my favorite songs is a song called "Street Parade" by Earl King, with the Meters playing, Earl King is singing. Allen wrote the horn parts. I don't think they repeat themselves the whole time. These horn parts never repeat. Why would you do that, you know? It's the only song like that I've ever heard. I remember one time writing a song. I'd gotten to one of those points like other artists where you can't say you're finished, because now it's subject to critique. Van Dyke Parks used to visit sometimes back in the day. And he came upstairs in my office with his short pants and his safari hat, and he knew that I was having this dilemma. And he told me, "Imagine you're gonna die in two weeks." So I wrote "Southern Nights." When I was a little boy going on about six, my father would take us out to the country to visit our relatives out there. All of them spoke Creole, very little English. I'd sit on the porch and I'd look up into the trees and everything was above me. As writers, we would like to be inspired all the time. We would like the clouds to open up and receive us. "Southern Nights" was a song that did that. It was a kind of spiritual feeling to be in that environment and to know where we came from, so we'd know where we're going. All these cities had so much to offer, musically and culturally. And then sometimes there's obstacles. Sometimes it's weather, or in the case of New Orleans... We recorded in the middle of the French Quarter. Kill the tape. Let's call Dave Grohl in here. He hit the bar. You know, if you put a guy like Dave in New Orleans... - Is Dave across the street at that bar right over there? - Yes, he is. ...sometimes you gotta go look for him. We didn't have to look far. Do you want to come check out this drum... - What's that? - Hold on, I gotta pay... Came to haul Dave out of the bar. How much? - See y'all. I'll be back. - I'll be here. You pull me out of a bar, better have a good reason. It's like the Faces, dude. Sounds good. I had a blast doing the drum track. I did it quick. And it's exciting and it pops and I get the sense that Dave likes it. I'm going back to the bar. I don't know what New Orleans music would be today if it wouldn't be for what the Meters created back in the day. The Meters are like the Beatles here in New Orleans for us. I think the Meters turned out to be is the embodiment of everything we're sitting here talking about. They're just straight-up New Orleans funk. Leo Nocentelli on guitar. Zigaboo Modeliste on drums. And the bass player, George Porter. The Neville Brothers were Art and Aaron. They were like a part of the fiber of the early days of the Meters. I discovered the Meters through Led Zeppelin. I read somewhere that the Meters were... John Bonham, the drummer of Led Zeppelin... They were one of his favorite bands. And it only makes sense... when you listen to the "pocket" and the groove the Meters had. I was fascinated with Zigaboo, the drummer. It's such a strange, unorthodox, different way of approaching rhythm. I never heard it before. He was very syncopated. He used the "ands" of "one" way more than normal drummers would use. And when he makes them, I would read him. You know? I'd know it's coming, so I would "and" with him, you know? It wasn't "correct," they way he played. It was just how he felt. He played how he felt. It's just the artistic air around New Orleans. It's like a gas that's leaking out, and everybody is, you know... Inhaling it, exhaling it. And all of a sudden, boom! Because I was invited to make this record with the Neville Brothers, we were rummaging through a bunch of cassettes. And we bumped into a whole box of cassettes that were the Meters' rehearsals. I couldn't hear a word they were saying 'cause I'm Canadian and they're from New Orleans. And so, Zig, the drummer, he's trying to describe something to the rest of the band in another language. No! No, man! It sounded like some strange Japanese to me. I always thought from the very beginning that this group were like song stylists. And that's where we got our peculiar and extraordinary talent meshed together to come and make one whole music! That's the thing I remember. Don't mind me. I'm crazy, man. Thank you! They kind of invented a form for New Orleans... That beautiful Meters sound, you know? Not getting any cooler in here. Hawkins is glistening, man. Look like a big ol' tray of deli meat left out in the summertime. Dripping with the juices. "Taylor juice." Au jus. Could I have some "Taylor au jus"? No, I'm all good, dude. All right, y'all ready? We are rolling. One, a-two, a-one, two, three. Without a doubt, the hottest performance of our entire career was at Jazz Fest, and I mean that in a meteorological sense 'cause it was fucking hot. I looked at some of those gospel bands singing in those robes... God damn! I remember being asked to play and thinking, "God, do we belong there?" I was honored to be asked, because all of the music was so real. How long has Jazz Fest been going? Do you know? I think it was, like... 1969 was the first Jazz Fest. Jazz Fest was supposed to happen originally in the 1960s. And George Wein, who produced the Newport Jazz Festival and Folk Festival, civic leaders in New Orleans brought him down saying, "We want you to do that here in New Orleans for..." You know. And he came down, he's like, "Can't do it." I've wanted to do a festival in New Orleans for many years. It was very difficult in the early days 'cause it was before the Civil Rights bill was passed in 1964. I came down there as early as 1962 and tried to get them to understand that they couldn't do a festival with the laws they had on the books. He's like, you know, "Until these hotels will allow Duke Ellington and Miles Davis and Dizzy Gillespie to stay in their rooms and eat in these restaurants, it's not gonna happen." It took, you know, 10 years before the city became completely integrated. Have you been to every one of 'em? Almost all of 'em. How many times have you been to Jazz Fest? Every year. - Of your life? - Yeah. First time I played Jazz Fest, I think I was four years old. The horn was taller than me. I've been knowing him since he was that tall. His name is Trombone Shorty 'cause he's been playing it since the trombone was taller than him. We used to hustle in Jackson Square for tips. We just wanted him to stand there with the trombone. Because it was so cute, people would tip us out. And then he actually started to, like, learn how to play, you know? I remember my mom telling me the story... Bo Diddley was on the stage and I was playing the parade part. All I could do was play one loud note... "Blamp!" I was playing that note, and my mom was like, "Shh! You're gonna get us put out of here." And so I kept doing it, and Bo Diddley was like, "Who is that stepping on my show?" And then they lift me up, and I was gone. Crowd-surfed with my trombone and I'd ended up on stage with Bo Diddley. - That's crazy. - Yeah. He's become... Well, I'll put it like this. The Neville Brothers had been closing our Jazz Fest since Professor Longhair passed away. When the Neville Brothers decided that they weren't gonna do it, the natural progression was Trombone Shorty. Now he's... You know, he's a monster. It's unbelievable. One of the things I believe in is the importance of passing on traditions the way they were given to us. We play all styles of music. There's calypso, Cuban. We have the Mardi Gras Indian sound. The music there exists because the culture itself is so rich to begin with. It's not just the Deep South. New Orleans is the northernmost point in the Caribbean. New Orleans was the largest port for a century. It's where coffee entered America. It was the entry point for Central America, South America, and Africa. I mean, part of our history is, you know, something that we're not very proud of, you know... Is that we are the port where hundreds of thousands, if not millions of Africans were brought into the United States and sold into slavery. This was a place where people from a lot of different places met, traded goods and ideas. And some of those ideas was musical. You listen to the music and you can pick out all the ingredients from all those different styles. You can pick out Spanish melodies and you can pick out African rhythms. You know, the Bo Diddley riff is just an African riff. How much rock 'n' roll have we built on that? There is a place called Congo Square and this was the only place in the South where black people could actually have drums, 'cause that was outlawed. Sunday at Congo Square, these cats played that music to commune with their ancestral spirits. That caused Europeans to start coming out on Sundays to check what was going on. This famous pianist, I think his last name was Gottschalk, he wrote this thing called the "Bamboula." His music was based on what he heard being played at Congo Square. That was part of our natural evolution. What you doing tomorrow, Dave? - What's that? - What you doing tomorrow? Singing. Nothing. Feel like coming by my aunt's house and jamming? - Yeah! Absolutely. - Cool. - Could I? - Oh, yeah. - Really? Okay. - Sure, yeah! She'll cook for us, too. That's the way we used to do it back in the day, with Jessie Hill, Professor Longhair, Dr. John. - Go by her house... - Oh, my God, I would love to. That'd be so fun. The importance of the music to the people is what really blew me away. How you doing? - How you making out, man? - All right. - This is my aunt, man. - Hello. I'm Dave. - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too. How are you doing? This is where we normally jam at. Everybody know to come here when you guys start singing? Oh, yeah. My grandfather was one of the ones who introduced the drums to the church. That's right. You know, Ben told me about that. It's an honorable, respectable family tradition, so much that you have it passed down from generation to generation. It just brings so much joy to all of us when we can just come together and be able to just play together. I don't know if every city considers music to be that important. And as a musician, I mean, that's the holy land. Right now the storm is 225 miles south-southeast of the mouth of the Mississippi River. We had a little gazebo in front of the house. Thank you, Killelea. We will let your teacher know. What do we think? Mr Chandler? Not quite up to it. Mr Kirkby? Button off. He had a button off his jacket. Slippery slope. We've had so many boys' voices break this year. We've had so many boys' voices break this year. Hey. There's auditions in here, hop it. No, I've come for the auditions. Well, they're over. Again I say unto thee, hop it. But I've come for the singing - my teacher put me down on the list. Baker. You're an hour late. Am I? Bakers get up early. Baker's the one with the music teacher's recommendation. So you wouldn't make a very good baker, would you? Do you have an excuse? Oh, he will have. Sinners always do. Judas had an excuse when he betrayed our Lord. That sniper on Vimy Ridge had an excuse when he shot my leg off. All right, Kirkby, keep it Methodist. Let's give him five minutes. Stand by the piano, please, Baker. Face this way and really sing out. Do you know your note? It's a B, Miss. # I want to make you proud I want my song to let you see # Who I can be when I belong # I'll give you all I have, I'll never swerve # I'll be the boy that you deserve # See who I am A boy with a heart # A boy saying please won't you choose me # Breathe on my dreams don't blow them apart # Turn me away and you'll lose me. # He wants to make you proud he wants to shine # He wants to hear you say that boy is mine # We know your love is there just in disguise # He needs to see it in your eyes # Look who I am, a boy with a heart # A boy saying please won't you choose me # Breathe on my dreams don't blow them apart # Turn me away and you'll lose me # I know I messed things up and got them wrong # That can't be changed with just a song # I really want our lives to intertwine # To make you proud # To bring you joy # So you can say # Yes, he's my boy # He's mine. # Thank you, Baker. You'll hear from your teacher. Morning. You see that ceiling? All them tiles might have to come down. Sorry. Hang on. Give me a sec, Tom. Tubby. Mr Brierley. I'm glad I've seen you. Look, about the other day. My wife's a bit... She's at a funny age. No. it was a very nice occasion. Crisp breads. Very gentlemanly of you. Could we make amends? Could I invite you and the lady...? Enid. That's it. Could you both perhaps come to dinner? Well, I could. I don't know where Enid resides. You are reckoning without the Brierley Nymphs And Shepherds Association clipboard. As a matter of fact, the firm she works for happens to be in this building. Does it? Is it? We'll have to hack it back, Frank. Seepage. Lovely. Aye, you can smell the damp. Mr Kirkby, could you get everyone in lines, please? You, there. You, on the end. Stand up straight. Good evening, everybody and welcome back. Good evening, Miss Riall. Now, we have some new children with us. Could they put up their hands, please? Hands down. Now, the other children have heard this before, but being in the Manchester School Children's Choir is a great privilege and with privilege comes what, Hewitt? What? With privilege comes what? Comes what? "Comes what, Miss Riall?"! Comes what, Miss Riall? What does privilege come with, you nitwit? I give up, sir. It comes with this. Chump. Well, it comes with responsibility, doesn't it? Now, we have got a lovely new song to learn by Purcell. It is called Nymphs And Shepherds. Who knows what a nymph is? Yes, Brierley? Please, Miss, they're pink and they live in the sea. You eat them in little pots. Well... That's not nymphs that's shrimps, you fat head. Hey! Sh! Have you been in a Berni before, Enid? No. What I like, there's no surprises. Can I show you to your table? Thank you, Barry. Thank you. Thanking you, Barry. This is lovely, very kind of you to invite us. Yes, very much appreciated. We know you're an insurance man, Tubby, and you're basically a secretary, Enid, but we thought you'd like to know a little bit about us. Shall I launch in? # I'm a man, just a man I am happy and contented # I appreciate the finer things in life # And my house is detached and it's obviously not rented # I've a car and I've something else... # A wife! # And my life's complete when I take her out to eat # We have all that we possibly could want # When we journey in to the Berni Inn # Our very favourite restaurant # Please don't panic when you see the Berni menu # All uncharted waters to explore.. # Lovely. # No need to be Magellan... # Prawn cocktail. Melon. # And frankly who could ever ask for more? # No matter how you falter our manners never alter # Smiling through like dear old Vera Lynn # We would go through hell for our clientele # The clients of the Berni Inn # I'm a wife, just a wife # And I'm happy to manoeuvre round my hubby and I just fit in with him # I'm proud of my house and I'm handy with the Hoover and the Harpic # And the Ajax and the Vim # But my life's complete when he takes me out to eat # To an eatery that's posher than the pub # When we journey in to the Berni Inn it's number one with me for grub # Once you've had your starter steak with grilled tomato # Shows you are a diner with finesse... # Ooh, I'm having that! # You have to learn the blarney - fancy words like "garni" # That just means they bung on bits of cress # Once you've learned to grapple # With gammon and pineapple you can face the world without chagrin # That remote ravine that is haute cuisine # Come and cross it at the Berni Inn # What we have who we are, well, it isn't accidental # We have battled for the life that we have built # We're refined, to be frank we are almost continental # Well, we do have a continental quilt # But it seemed so neat to invite you out to eat # To show you some of what you haven't got # To journey in to the Berni Inn # To show you that we know what's what # Now please alert your colon loosen off your roll-on # Can we say we'll do desserts all round...? # Oh, yes... # Ices in the chiller only got vanilla # Or the sweet for which we are renowned # In shit hole or in chateau # They know Black Forest Gateau # Though ours has never been too near Berlin # It's wrong to brag # It's just cake in drag # But it's "gateau" at the Berni Inn # On my grave will be chipped by a monumental mason # There could never be a better life than Frank's # Had a wife had a child, had an avocado basin # Bath and lavatory from Armitage Shanks # And it feels so sweet to have given you this treat # And that is why we felt we must insist # That we journey in to the Berni Inn # To demonstrate the life you've missed... # Sorry. Can I just stop you a second? We're leaving. We don't want to spend any more time with you this evening, or ever. You're not staying for coffee? It's Irish coffee. After-dinner mints come with. No, we're going for a nice cup of tea. Tea? I just felt he was belittling me. Well, us. He was trying, but we shall not be belittled. We shall fight them in the chip shop. We shall fight them in the Kardomah. We shall never surrender. Sorry, that was a terrible Diana Dors impression! On the house. Anne, you're a bobby-dazzler. I know I am. Help yourself. No, I'm full. Anyway, I'm on a diet, supposedly. I'm doing it with Pauline, the girl I work with. She wants to lose three stone and take all her hems up. She's got chunky knees. Yours aren't chunky, if I may say. No, but office solidarity. You were very... manly in there when you took charge. No, I surprised myself. Don't know what's going on with me at the moment. It's all happening! Didn't I hear you say your mother had just died? Yes, she did. And did you live with her? Yes. House to myself now. So thank God for this place! She didn't like music. She struggled. She found life a bit of an obstacle course. Well, it is. Actually, do you mind if I...? No, please. I may have over-vinegared. Not for me. I love vinegar. So, your office is in Peel House? I've got clients on the fourth floor. My office is just across the square. We're on the first floor - Stanley Brothers. Pop in some time. Pauline loves a visitor. Right, I shall. I shall pop! Please... Are you Jimmy Baker? Yeah... Is your mother in? No, she's at her other job. Oh, right. Well, how are you doing? Have you been out playing? Singing, I'm in a choir. I sing, with a dance band. We've been on the wireless. So I've actually sung on the wireless. I gave you a rubber ball once, do you remember? You would have been about three. It was a big, coloured ball. Have you not still got it? I had better go in. Hang on a minute. I'm off to Canada. Pastures new... As they say. Have you heard that? Pastures new? No? Anyway, I'm leaving this behind. Do you want to take it? What is it? It's a gramophone. Go on, take it. Who have I to give it to? No-one. You. It's for you. It's new. There's a record in it, Happiness Street. I'm singing on it. All right, Sal? What's this? I'm sailing to Canada. I've brought him this. Right. I'll send you my address, shall I? Well, I will. Jimmy, go and get washed. And remember, always hold a record by its edges. Yes? Is this all right, Mam? Yeah. Go on. Well, I'll probably not see you. No. You know how I'm fixed. Yeah. Is she going with you? 'Course it does. You bugger. Mam! Wait! What did he say? Who? Him. Nothing. He said he'd given me a ball or something. A ball? He didn't say to come with him or anything? To Canada? No. No. Because you're staying with me, aren't you? Mam, can we play the record? No. I told you. But why? Because I don't want to hear it! Now fasten it up. You don't get it out, you don't show it anybody, and you don't tell anybody. I mean it. She said, "Pop in." She wants me to pop in. I'm not making this up, am I? She wants me, Tubby Baker, to come and see her in her office. Got to mean something, hasn't it? Ooh. One, two. And... # In this grove, in this grove # Let's sport and play # Let's sport and play Let's sport and play # For this, this is Flora's 'oliday # This is Flora's 'oliday This is Flora's 'oliday # Sacred to ease... # No, no, no. It is Flora's what? Baker? 'Oliday, Miss Riall. Flora's 'oliday? And where is our concert? Int' Free Trade 'all, Miss Riall. Oh, dear. Baker has dropped something, and it isn't under his seat. What has he dropped? No? Mr Kirkby? Aitches. Yes. All of you are dropping your aitches. Now, you are all Mancunians and that is a very fine thing to be, and we will be singing on the stage of the Free Trade Hall, very much a part of Manchester's proud history. Now, we want all that pride in coming from Lancashire, we want the spirit of Lancashire, but not the accent. It is Flora's holiday. It is the Free Trade Hall. We are not int' Free Trade 'all wit' 'amilton 'arty, on Flora's flippin' 'oliday. Oi! Same place, please, Edna. Sh! # In this grove, in this grove # Let's sport and play Let's sport and play # Let's sport and play # For this, this is Flora's holiday... # Good! # This is Flora's holiday... # Yes! # This is Flora's holiday. # Good night, Mr Kirkby. Night. I'm meeting my dad. See you! See you, Hewitt. We've done the chairs, Mr Kirkby. Are you all right, Mr Kirkby? It's this leg. Gets bad in the cold. Just need a minute. Do you want me to go and tell you when the bus is coming? Then you don't have to stand in the cold. I walk home. I'm only down Pattison Street. That's near me. I can walk with you, sir. I don't think you walk as slow as me. I can do. I like walking slow. And if I walk on the side of your cold leg it might warm it up, and then it might feel better. You can lean on me. I'm dead strong. I'm always carrying coal and spuds and that for Mam. Come on, Tubby! Hello! Oh, you came. Pauline, this is Tubby. You remember, I told you. From the programme. Tubby Baker. Very pleased to meet you, Pauline. Oh, don't be. I'm only a lowly secretary. Enid is the PA. She has the desk planner and the intercom. And what have I got? Some Handy Andies and a plastic lemon. We're on lemon and hot water. I told you, we're slimming. How's it going? This week? Not great. I can have 7,000 calories a week, and, so far, I've had 3,800 and it's only Tuesday, but, hey, two days on potted meat and water biscuits. That could level me back off. Speaking of chips, where are you taking her? You're not escorting her to lunch? Of course! Pauline, it's Tuesday! I was thinking of having a sandwich. Can I interest you in sitting on a bench? In the square? No. I don't have time. No, fair enough. Well, I won't clog up the mighty wheels of commerce. Very pleased to have met you, Pauline. Enid's got a lot more leeway than me calorie-wise, she can have a jacket potato and a yoghurt. I don't think I've ever had a yoghurt. No, you don't look like you've ever had one. No offence. You're like me, it's all in front. Be thankful you don't have to struggle into a roll-on. I am! Have you given up answering that intercom? I didn't hear it. It didn't buzz. My wife says can you get this stitched for Hilary, she says it's the band on the inside. Who's this? My name's Baker. Blackfriars Assurance. We're insured, so sayonara. No, I just popped in to see Miss Sutcliffe. Well, you can pop out. She's busy. Goodbye. Bye, Pauline. These need doing. Give me a knock in ten, and we'll make a move. So... What? Mr Tubby Baker. Very nice. Very gentlemanly. He's a gentleman caller Like in that play where she had the gammy leg and the glass animals. Why did you give him the brush-off? We have our site visits on a Tuesday. I've heard that something very exciting is happening the day after Tuesday. What? Wednesday. Get a bit of a romance going. I'd have him. You're married! There's always something dragging you back. What was he after? Nothing. You don't know him? No. Good. And thanks for doing the riding hat. Get me out of bother. Who have you spotted now? Mr Tubby. Aw, he's walking away all sad. Will you not just have a butty with him? No! Yoo-hoo! Tubby! She's changed her mind. She will have lunch with you - next Monday in the square. Bring a yoghurt! Sorry! Pauline! He's lovely...! Straight to the top of the stairs and quietly, please! Quiet. Quiet! I shall be checking hands, faces, boots, and hair ribbons. The Halle Orchestra looks smart, so must we. Baker, come here. You... are a chump. What are you? I'm a chump, sir. If Miss Riall had seen you in that state that would have been it. Inky pinky parlay voo good night. Sorry, sir. If you had sticking up hair on Vimy Ridge you'd know about it. If your hair stuck up there, do you know what would happen? No, sir. Get your head blown off. Did you not wear helmets? Occasionally. Now, the audience is all seated, so we shall be going on to the stage very shortly. And we won't be nervous, because we will not think about ourselves, we will think about the music and the pleasure it brings. Let's have our happy hum. # Brother, come and dance with me # Both my hands I offer thee # Right foot first, left foot then # Round about and back again... # Get off! Come on, don't you want a bit of fun. I'm only wanting what others have had. You know what they say - you don't miss a slice off a cut loaf. Shall I tell your wife you said that? Ladies and gentlemen, I would just like to take the opportunity to thank Miss Gertrude Riall for the wonderful work she is doing training these Manchester schoolchildren, who have sung with such tunefulness and energy this evening. They are a credit to you, Miss Riall. Thank you. And such is my faith in this lady, I am going to propose to the Columbia record company that they make a recording of the Manchester Children's Choir led, of course, by Miss Riall accompanied by the Halle Orchestra, in order that we may prove, if proof were needed, that what Manchester plays today, the world listens to tomorrow! Mr Kirkby, I'll walk home with you. Do you not have a coat? No. I don't need one. I'm a really warm person. Feel! Hey. Is this from Vimy Ridge? It is. Did you shoot Germans in it? Say again. Did you shoot Germans in it? Occasionally. I can let myself in. Mam might be asleep. I'll just see you in. What's this? Herbert Kirkby. From the choir. Has he done something wrong? No, no. With it being late, I thought I'd see him to the door. Right. Yes. Very good, then. Baker did very well, as they all did. The concert. He killed Germans in this, Mam. Very nice. You go in, Baker, you chump. Sorry you missed it, Mrs Baker. You'll perhaps manage for a future occasion. Right. You won't be too cold, will you? No. We're in the sun. We won't be sitting long, will we? Now, lunch. The great yoghurt investigation. Oh. I thought we would just be bringing our own lunch. Oh, I thought I'd bring lunch. My treat. Oh, I thought we would just be having our own Tupperwares-type thing. You weren't taking me out to lunch. No, but... It wasn't like a date. No. I mean, two middle-aged people on a bench in Piccadilly. It's not exactly Roman Holiday, is it? No. Be nice if it was. # If life were movies # Then I would be Fred Astaire # From top to toe # I would be so debonair # I would be charming # And quite disarming # And slim # If I were him # If I were him # If life were movies # Then Ginger Rogers, I'd be # Pert and petite # Light on my feet # That would be me # I would be wearing # Something quite daring with fur # If I were her # If I were her # If life were movies # If we were Ginger and Fred # Then we would glide by # Like people tied by a thread # We'd have an amorous # And, oh, so glamorous affair # If we were Rogers and Astaire # Wouldn't it be so groovy # If we were in a movie? # Nobody thought it silly # Dancing in Piccadilly # And looking at all of you # You could be in it too # If life were movies # Then we would know all the words # Know exactly what to say # And unsurprising # Be harmonising in thirds # Thirds are easy by the way # Your heavenly chorus # Would then implore us to wed # Oh, for heaven's sake why don't you wed? # If you were Ginger If I were Ginger # And I were Fred And you were Fred. # What were you saying about yoghurt? I didn't know which flavour, so I got them all. You didn't get plain? I didn't know there was plain. I can only have plain. I never saw plain. If it's not plain, it's not slimming. Look, leave that aside for the moment. I shall deal with that first thing tomorrow. I'll strike out into the icy wastes of the chilled dairy section. I'll be like Captain Oates. Only, hopefully, I shall come back, but what I wanted to say, Enid, is, I know this wasn't a date, but could it be? Not this yoghurt blunderer's debacle, but could we go on a proper date? I'm going out with someone. Oh. So... Right. Sorry. Doing my two short planks act. I should have checked. Sorry. As you were. Malcolm? Yeah. Did you manage to have a word with her? No. There's a lot going on. We've got the dressage coming up. I mean, I will. We might just have to tick along for a bit. And don't keep bringing it up. I've got enough on my plate. I don't keep bringing it up. You said, once the girls had left school. I can't just cut and run. Well, maybe I should cut and run. Run where? You're no spring chicken. Come on. We do all right. Love In The Afternoon. Eh? Well, it'll be a big photograph of the choir and the Halle. And will we be allowed to, like, buy one? We will. Did they say how much that photo's going to be, Mr Kirkby? It's got to be four or five bob, hasn't it? A big cardboard job. Well, I wanted to get one for Mam. She'll have your school photo. No, she didn't get it. See you Saturday, Mr Kirkby. Oi! Eccles cake. The labourer is worthy of his hire. Thanks, sir. Bye! And... How come? Mr Kirkby give it me. For carrying all his hymn books, because you know he's religious, so he has to carry hymn books, but he can't because of his leg. Carry them. If I only had one leg, I'd put a wheel where my leg was. Would you, Mam? Put a wheel where your leg was? I'd put a motorbike. Get me to work quicker. # My Christian name is Enid # My mother is to blame # She wanted something nondescript # And commonplace and tame # And now I am an Enid # With all that that implies # The dreariness, the weariness the shame # For Enids never get seduced # Your inner Enid rules the roost # Your love life will not be your claim to fame # You won't inspire a Byron # Be a temptress or a siren # A courtesan, a diva or a dame # You won't have a stock of sex tricks # You won't hum like a Scalextrics # When Enid is your name # Enids are not kissed # Under skies that are starry # We don't go on safari # With some chisel-jawed man # No Kenya # For an Enid, not when your # Tights are 45 denier # In American tan # We don't sit # In a cafe with Sartre # Looking down from Montmartre # With absinthe on our lips # No Leo # Ever whisks us to Rio # Just to Carry On Cleo # And sixpenn'orth of chips # Oh, I want somebody to hold me # No-one's ever cajoled me # Set my passions aflame # And, oh, I need to show # That I am more than just my name # Enids are planted on terra firma # No lover will murmur # "With you, I'm a man" # We're eager # But our assets are meagre # There's a whiff of Swarfega # Not Je Reviens # Oh, I want someone to adore me # What's stretching before me? # Just more of the same # Oh, I need to show # That I am more than just my name. # Sorry, just hang on a minute. What was I saying? Oh, yes, Enids. # Will we feel passion # Or something akin to # That we have to give in to # I'm guessing we won't # There are chasms # Between those who feel spasms # And have great big orgasms # And the Enid's who don't # One day I'm going to master this hurdle # I'm going to fling off my girdle # And get ahead of the game # I'm going # To try and get my juices flowing # I have a bit of life still owing # And I am more than just my name. # Evelyn, do you want a Nescaf? Do you want a Nescaf? This came for you yesterday. I forgot. Here you are. Trot down to the mail room with that. Take the stairs, get a bit of that weight off. I'm back at four, Enid. I'll take it down, Pauline. Sorry. Why are you apologising for him, Enid? He doesn't bother me. I don't have to see him in my lunch hour. Or with his clothes off. Who else knows? No-one. You come back on a Tuesday afternoon with flat hair and different tights on. I just button my lip and keep typing. Do you think the worse of me? No, I don't think the worse of you for sleeping with him. We've all got a few regrettable bedspreads in our past. But to pass up the chance of a nice bloke who's itching to treat you properly - that is barmy. It's complicated. Is it heck as like, Enid! I've just seen him now, Tubby, on my way back. He's just gone into Duncan and Fosters. God, Enid! Go and find him, tell him you've been a bloody idiot and you want to go out with him. Shall I? Yes! Go on. Hurry up. What shall I tell him about Malcolm? Just tell him! It is 1969! For frig's sake! What it is... That's not really a sentence. Thank you for the photo. No trouble. The other day, when I said I was going out with somebody, I wasn't really, so, I don't know if you want to still go out with me. Well, I can't just decide on the spot. I will have to think about it. No, of course. Absolutely. I've thought about it. Yes, I would and where shall we go? Oh. You really want to? You've no idea. You have no idea. Wow! Crikey! I ordered sausage, egg and chips to cheer myself up. I could send it back! Could I hold your hand? Yes. Hang on! Let's do this thing properly. So, none of my beeswax, but I am a man, so, obviously, a bit thick as regards these matters. Were you going out with somebody or not? Well, I was seeing somebody. We didn't really go out, and I haven't actually told him yet. He'll probably be furious, but we're used to that. Who's we? Oh, me and Pauline. It's my boss. That's who I've been sort of seeing. You met him that day. Oh. I thought he was married. Well, yes. That's been the complication. The boss I met? Mr Stanley? Yes. But he is married. I heard him saying something about his wife. They don't get on. They're all very showjump-y. Who are? The wife and the daughters. He's got daughters? Yes. Two. They do dressage. But you haven't had an affair with him? Well, yes. What did you think you were doing? To them? What I was doing? To their family. You had no right. He was somebody's husband and he was somebody's father. That's wrong, Enid. That's just... I'm sorry, I can't hold hands with you. I had no idea that you... I thought you were like me. I thought you'd missed the boat somehow. Getting involved with a married man. That's not who I thought you were. Stephenson, Sutcliffe, Taylor, Ward, Williamson, Yardley. Right, have a look around at your tram group. If you don't see those faces at the tram stop tomorrow morning, you are on the wrong tram and you will not be making a record with the Halle Orchestra. Oi! That was a waste of a halfpenny, wasn't it, Hewitt? These trams have been put on specially for you to get to the Free Trade Hall. We don't want anybody coming on milk floats or getting lifts on a dust cart. Yes, Baker, I'm looking at you. You're not on the tram, you're not coming in. In fact, I am going to say that anyone not arriving on time will not only be prevented from taking part in the recording, but will be asked to leave the choir altogether. Singing tomorrow is going to be the happiest moment of my life. Very good. You get off. Big day tomorrow. I can manage. So our record that we're making, Mr Kirkby, if they sell it in Woolworths, I'm going to buy it for Mam and play it her. Play it her on what? A mangle? No, I've got a gramophone. Yes, and I'm Rupert the Bear. No, I have got one. Come on, Mr Kirkby, come with! Very nice model. Not that we should be "Laying up treasures on earth "where moth and rust doth corrupt," Matthew, 6:19, but it's a handy little case is that. And a record come with it. Shall I put it on so we know how we have to do it tomorrow? Are you allowed to play it? Yeah. # Hey, girls and boys Come hear the noise # Hear those marching feet # We're heading down to Happiness Street # We've nothing to lose We're done with the blues # We're spreading the news We know that it's true # We're telling it to the people we meet # There'll be no room for doom and gloom # Life will be sweet # No snappiness on Happiness Street # Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh it's a free-for-all # Down at this one address # Ooh-ooh, it's the street they call Happiness # We've nothing to lose We're done with the blues # We're spreading the news We know that it's true # We're telling it to the people we meet # All the people we meet # There'll be no room for doom and gloom # Life will be sweet # There's happiness on Happiness Street. # Does it not matter what I say? Get inside! Mam, we were just... You were just showing me up. You can leave that. What are you going to do with it? I might put it in the bin. Don't, Mam! I'm singing on our record and I'm going to play you it on it. I don't think I like singing. You're not making a record. He's not making a record. He's down there now. On a bench. Who? Tubby. He's having... I can't see if it's a pie or a pasty. I think it's a pasty. I might go and sit in the sun. Don't say anything to him. He's made his point. I'm not going to say anything to him. I'm not totally crass. So, she told me what you said to her, Enid. She's just a person. Bit lonely. Probably been dumped a few times. Picked a wrong 'un. We all make mistakes. That's why they put rubbers on the end of pencils. Nobody's perfect. I'm fat, so I shouldn't be having a pasty, but I am. Same with Enid. And what have you done with your life that's so great? You're not Albert Schweitzer. Unless you're running a leper colony of a weekend and keeping that under wraps. Would it be possible to have a word? "I'm the first to wade in when there's been a misdemeanour. "Bang. Ears boxed. Punished with everlasting destruction," Thessalonians, 1:9. Joke. And, obviously, playing the gramophone when you'd said he wasn't to needs a punishment. He's getting a punishment. "Correct thy son and he shall give thee rest," Proverbs, 28:17. We're on the same tram tracks here. I don't believe in God. It's just that he had this surprise for you, and I was going to take him out to tea, possibly the Kardomah, because he's been a help to me. I've got this leg. Lack of. What surprise? It's a photograph of Baker. I took a little snap of him. I borrowed a Box Brownie from a chap in my digs. He didn't want you to think you had to buy the... The big one because that's going to be sizeable. So I thought, after the recording, with it being your day off, we could get the photo, and then maybe go somewhere, as I say, like the Kardomah. Have egg on toast or beans on toast or toast. Make a day of it. He's a good little lad. You know he's saving up to buy you the record. I don't suppose you want a cup of tea with a nonbeliever. Well, you believe in tea, and, to me, that's only just outside the Holy Trinity. Our Lord, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Tea. Go left and cut through. It saves you five minutes. Much appreciated. So we'll see him tomorrow on his correct tram at the correct time. You will. I'll see him off before work. And one and two and three, twist. A one, two, three. Onto the floor, class. Down you go. Onto your elbows. Single leg lift. Right leg first. Left leg bent. Here we go. And up. Down. Up. Two more. Get ready to change. Left leg. Hold those tummies in. Enid! Single leg lift! Oh, sorry. So, Tubby. Is he very sad? What? What did he look like when you saw him? He looked like someone finishing off a pasty. For frig's sake, Enid, if there's any havoc caused, you've caused it. Dithering and faffing about. You never sort anything out! And everyone's favourite, the bicycle. Summer will come, let's get ready for those bikinis! # I am clear on the fear that has led up to where I am now # Ie feeble and foolish and fed up and lost as to how # I can move from the safe and the timid, the fearful, the tepid # To be honest and plucky, courageous and free and intrepid # Scared of life, scared of sheep Scared of thunder just # Half alive, half asleep Now I wonder if # I can crawl, I can creep out from under and do it # Take a chance, take a punt Why not stand up and # Grab a spot at the front Put your hand up and # Knuckle down, bear the brunt Strike the band up, let's do it # Do the things you need to do # And say the things you've never dared say # And find the person deep inside the person who's been hidden away # Forgotten # Make the move, jump the ship Pay and check out and # Toodle-oo, toodle-pip Get the heck out and # Stiffen your upper lip Stick your neck out and do it # Buckle up, chocks away Don't just settle but # In a fight, in a fray Show your mettle but # Do it now, seize the day Grasp the nettle and do it # Do it only for yourself # You'll never get applause or a cup # There won't be trophies on your shelf # But if you can just hold your head up # That's something # On the spot, in the dock Courage withering # Taking aim, taking stock No more dithering # Check the time, stop the clock # And just blithering do it. # Can I say something? How did you find my house? I went and asked Frank Brierley. I took him some Matchmakers. His firm's renovating our plaster work. That's right. You've got seepage. It's affected the cornicing. You're going to have to kick this off. No, I will. I absolutely will. Now, obviously when you came round to the office that Tuesday and said did I want to have a sandwich in Peel Square, that was my opportunity to say, "I'm afraid I can't, "because I'm just about to go and have... sex with that red-faced man," who is my boss, who then told you to hop it. That was a missed opportunity. Of which there have been many. I liked you as soon as I saw you, but I had got a bit stuck with the Malcolm situation. I was turning so many blind eyes, it's a wonder I could see to put my tights on! And you were quite right - he is married, and he does have children, and it was deceitful. But it was quite light-hearted in the early days. We'd have Campari. Plus, I quite enjoyed the intercourse. Just trying to lay it all on the line. Then we're clear. I'll be out of your hair in a moment. I'm sorry about Pauline pouncing on you that day when you were having your pasty - she's a bit of a blunderer, but she means well. The point is, if you take me out of the picture - which you have - quite rightly - there are still a lot of ladies out there who would appreciate you. I know two widows and a divorcee, and that's just at Keep Fit. Is something burning? Chip pan! Crikey! Mind out! No! You're supposed... supposed to put a... Outside, outside! That shirt was a bit tight. I just grabbed the nearest thing. I thought it was an apron. And this is supposed to be the new me, doing things properly. Beggar! No - this needs more than a beggar. This needs a bugger. Bugger! Oh, heck. Oh... oh... oh... # Overweight, overwhelmed # I've overstepped the mark # Help me out # I'm whistling in the dark # But something I saw in you # Gave me a sense, a clue # To what I had lived without # The sun came out # You think a heart can never melt # You don't expect a thaw # But feelings just accosted me # And sort of, well, defrosted me # And left me in a puddle on the floor # No choice, to see it through # I couldn't turn away # From what I glimpsed in you # That day. # Letting them stay all night now, are you? What? We saw your fancy man come, but we didn't see him go. Hey, Mam! I'm doing me hair like Mr Kirkby's. You're not going. Get upstairs. What? Give me your key! But Mam, I haven't done anything. You said I could go! Well, now I'm saying you can't. Upstairs! Well, Pauline had it right - what have I done with my life? You've looked after your mother. Was I looking after her or hiding behind her? She never said "don't get married", "don't have a girlfriend". I was the one saying, "Ooh, I have to go home and see to my mother." At least you plunged. Wasn't much of a plunge. I knew really he wouldn't leave Mrs Stanley. I was so busy being hard done by, I never thought about her. What a twerp. Me? Me! What have I got to get so high and mighty about? I'm cringing. Can't believe I turned down all that yoghurt! I hadn't brought plain. I hate plain. We'll never have it. # I want to make you proud I want to show # That there's still time for me to climb and change and grow # Somewhere along the way I lost my nerve # I'm not the man that you deserve # Face who you are - a man with a heart # It's only in height I'm above you. # Breathe on my dreams # Don't blow them apart # I need you to know that I love you # I want to be the man you hoped I'd be # To find my place amongst the crowd # To see your face # And know # You're proud of me. # Hewitt? Was Baker not on your tram? No, sir. That'll do it. Here they come. Purcell, boys. Too early for Humperdinck. Sorry, I'm not sure where I should stand for the microphone. Probably best if I conduct. Get a chair for Miss Riall out of the way, Lionel. Right you are. Should I just warm them up? Oh, I don't think we need bother with that. Round about this tempo, boys. Once through for luck. I didn't get the chance to ask, are we all here? Apart from Baker. Baker? But he was so excited about it. Did he send a message? No. Just didn't turn up. So he's out. Well, I'm very disappointed. I had great hopes of Baker. Aren't you disappointed? Very disappointed! Morning! Lovely start to the week. After you. Hey! I know! Yep. Belting. And you were right what you said about pasties and leper colonies. Was I? Bought her a plant? Lovely - she's in a meeting. No, it's for him. It's him I've come to see. The boss. Oh, blimey. There'll be no trouble. We just need to set things straight, the three of us. To move forward. You can't lay new lino over a dead cat. Now, tell him he's got a visitor. Use the intercom if you don't want to go in there. Hello? Sorry, Mr Stanley, someone to see Mr Stanley. Over. 'I'm in a meeting, Pauline! ' Say it won't take long. It won't take long, he says! Over. 'For crying out loud. Hang on...' What? Pauline, I'm in a meeting, you lardy trout! Wh...? Insurance? Hop it. I just wanted a quick word with you about Enid and myself. What are you talking about? Pauline, get Roberts. Enid and I are in love. 'Yes, we're in love.' 'And why are you telling me? ' Because I have to assume that you have feelings for her as well 'and that you want the best for her.' 'Are we talking about Enid Sutcliffe? ' 'Yes.' Why do you think I care one way or the other about her? Because I know what the situation is. Get out of here, you fat fool. Coming shouting the odds in your cheap suit. No-one's shouting. Can we not shake hands, like gentlemen, for Enid's sake? Enid's nothing to me. She's a spinster with a crush, that's all, whatever she's told you. How dare you. You've had what you've wanted for years and years and you say she's nothing to you? You're despicable. Tubby! Ha-ha-ha! Come with me! You'll stay where you are if you want to keep your job. I love you, Enid! And don't let him back in! Come on, then. You know I didn't mean it. You can go. All sorted, Sir H. Ready to record when you are. Thank you, Lionel. Now. This... hears everything and forgives nothing. It is a cruel mistress. We can have no mistakes. Perfection only will do. Complete clarity, total concentration! And of course, a lovely, happy sound. Pauline, go and phone the coffee order through. Right. What was I supposed to say? Yeah, you're right, fatso, we have it away every Tuesday? Bloody idiot. Is he a drinker? Huh. You don't want to bother with him. I do want to bother with him. Pauline! Do you want this hand cream? Atrixo? Lovely, thanks. No, don't be like that, Enid. Honestly, in bed, between you and Moira, well, no contest. You might want to switch off the intercom, Malcolm. Oh... Oh, good. A critique on my sex life has gone through to everyone in planning. Hadn't you better catch him up? You don't want him taking the hump again. Oh, lord, he could be anywhere. I'll see you at Popmobility. Thanks for everything! Bye! Bye. You'll have to take the lift, love. Oh, flip. It's all right. You don't have to fling me into the gutter by the seat of my trousers. It's not the Beano. Quick as you can, boys. Up over there! Who is it? Sir! It's Jimmy Baker, he's up on that ledge. Everyone shush! He's too late, though, isn't he, sir? Because he didn't come on the tram, sir. Climb over, jump down, I'll catch you! Look lively. Is everything all right over there? Get in your place! Yes, thank you, Sir Hamilton. Baker was just helping me up. Lost a leg, sniper, Vimy Ridge. Good man. I was Naval Reserve. North Sea. Lot to be grateful for. You said Baker hadn't turned up. No. You said he'd missed his tram. No. You did, Mr Kirkby. We had a whole conversation about it. I might have been hallucinating. Hallucinating? From shellshock. Do you suffer from shellshock? Occasionally. I can't let you back in. I know. She's stuck in there with that idiot. I want to rescue her. I want to run away with her. Does SHE know that? Probably not. The whole thing's been a series of half-cocked blunders, of which me shoving him in the chest and failing to give him a cactus is the last in a long line. Well, she's only on the first floor. Doesn't matter what floor she's on if you can't let me back in. Of course, if you were to rush past me, grab a decorator's ladder and put it up against her window, there wouldn't be much I could do about it. Wouldn't there? I'm not very quick on my pins. I don't have the full complement. Caught a packet in the first lot. Sniper. Vimy Ridge. Go on, chump. Oh... Can you hold the door, love? On your signal, Lionel. Have you seen a gentleman? I think he was probably just thrown out of the building. He's got a lovely face. Well, he's quite stout, which I actually like. Oh, his name's Mr Baker. I don't know what his Christian name is. She's gone. She gave me her hand cream. She loves you! "A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches." Genesis, 32, verse 28. His name is James. I imagine you would remember him as Jimmy. Jimmy? Jimmy Baker? Tubby Baker is Jimmy Baker! Of course he's Jimmy Baker! The one that jumped down from the the day of the you don't know where he went? Up there. Then I said, "Catch him up", so she's run out, looking for you. Jimmy! # Enid Sutcliffe come away Come away... # That's the message I've clambered up here # To convey # 50-odd odd and I'm fighting For breath... # No Greek god But I love you to death # I mean it... # Enid... # Come away... # With me # All those years I could never feel joy # Just because # I'd lost touch with the wonderful boy # That I was # Though we're not still a lad and a girl # Don't you think we could give it a whirl? # So would you # Or could you # Come away # With me # All the shame, all the sadness # Of all of the roads we have travelled # Weaves a garment that hangs on us heavy as rope # But strand by strand # It can be unravelled # Hand in hand there's hope Hand in hand there's hope... # Nymphs and shepherds come away # Nymphs and shepherds come away # Who's to blame For my flat little life? # Me only # Chose a lover who stuck with his wife # That's lonely # You turned up and I couldn't believe # Sweet and kind with your heart on your sleeve # I will come # I will come # Come away # With you # All the shame, all the blame # All the stuff we are dragging behind us # We should turn, we should look We should give it a shove # We ditch the chains # There's nothing to bind us # And what remains # Is love # Nymphs and shepherds come away # Nymphs and shepherds come away # Come away # All those years at the back of the queue # Don't seem real # All those dreams that were never on view # We'll reveal # All we felt that we didn't deserve # Hand in hand we can summon the nerve # To feel love # And give love # Till those dreams # Come true # Nymphs and shepherds come away # Nymphs and shepherds come away # Ah... # Can I borrow your phone. I have to make a call. Shit, someone's coming. Shit, they're shooting. No ... Henning ... What are you ... Henning? Do not tell anyone. I'm not gay, you know? You heard something that seemed shots? No, not really. I could not hear anything with the helmet. We were wondering if Henning had not killed. Four members of Ferrymen were murdered tonight. One of them was my informant, -Aconteceu Something with Mom? -Christer Is dead. He was shot with three others. -It Lie. Tell me it's a lie! -I Will not do it officially. -According. They had a person in the trunk, they would kill him. Then there is someone missing? We the Ferrymen we mourn. Four of us were shot and killed. Show respect and care to write. We have checked seven missing, only one is there. Zana Korda, 15, of Hising in Gothenburg. The father lives in Oslo. Hamit Milonkovic. He was involved in two cases of trafficking in 2009. Now, his father is busy. For Tacio, with care. -Berliner Zeitung and Die Welt, please. -Die Welt is exhausted. So I'll just take the BZ. Thank you very much. Goodbye. Come on! Good day. I forgot my card. Can release? -Of Course. The hunt was good? -Not Tell me. Amateurs are amateurs. -Do You know what time is this? -I Wanted to take a walk before work. -You Will not do anything today. And you will enjoy these tours. Of course. Phillip is already up? -The Coffee is ready. 'I'll pass, thanks. - Quot; A quot ;, sacred moment you said. Do not do me regret consciousness. 'I've seen you in the margin. -It Was three years ago. -The Agreement was ... -I know what the agreement. This research came to me, and I need her. Hi, Phillip. -already Arrested someone? -Not So fast. He lives here? -He? It was a woman, right? I need to go. See you later. They are just criminals who grapple with others. -where Have you been? 'I woke up late. I can not sleep. What Helen said? She has arrested someone? You do not say anything, right? -Do Not. Hey! You are so dead! -my Apologies. Excuse? It certainly helps. Still hurts here! You could have broken my nose. Relax, he has apologized. He fought for you, Henning. Mia talked shit about you, then Phillip slapped her. Heroic. You are so ... She said that ... -Not care. -Henning ... -No Understand anything? Stay away from me. I brought clothes for you. It may then be exchanged. You left me locked. And I have a choice? Tell the Dad what happened before you came here. And why are you dressed like that. Zana? The beginning. A friend and I ... -Zana ... Listen to me. We came out and we were ambushed. Not at all! Liar! -it's True! -You Have no shame? Thus qeu do? Bujar was right. You lost all respect! I'll be back tonight. And you will tell me everything. Get it? Daddy, do not go! Behave! Go back! Dad, come back! Good thing we have a coordination center. I am proud to say that this research will be led by our delegated Helen Sikkeland. The OS of Oslo appointed for this case here in Mysen. Given his experience in Kripos, this research is in excellent hands. -I Could not identify the connection. -Imaginei He could not. It's obvious, but what makes me angry is that I did not know that there is only one person in it. 'Tell me what you have. -Ok. They were members of Ferrymen and supported the Sixers. Sixers sell marijuana and amphetamines. They do not play. -So They were responsible? -may Be. The Ferrymen lost two deliveries because of the informant. It's a great debt. -Possível. -Possível. Even if the victim has been saved on their own. -If So, the Audi could have been her. -Encontraram The GPS in the car? -Do Not. Something more interesting in the scene? All were killed with a 9mm pistol. The gun was not found. But back to what we were talking about. Christer calling you. He said that a person would be killed. But he does not talk you who is? The Christer knew who it was? I do not know. I could not ask before it shut down. You were covering Christer. Why did not he tell them? -No Was Lars who answered. He called you often? What does this have to do? -Christer Was his brother. -how Do you know? I am the police. We will continue? I wonder how long you have to spend. Strømme. Yes? Ok. I come already. Exploded a bomb in Exodus. It is a restaurant in the center. -Still Not just here! -Acabou To happen! -Exodus Is controlled by the league Z. -Hammit Milonkovic? I'll go with you. -how Come? We're looking for his daughter. Hello! Help! Help me! So you've been looking for the daughter of Milonkovic? Why? We think it would be in the car. We began the search yesterday. Daughter reported missing in Sweden. She lives with her mother in Gothenburg. Did you know about the person in the trunk? -Yup. -What Was the fucking game then? Why did not you tell us? Hello? -I Can not say. All right. Let's forget whims and pride and work. You then have the theory that she was in the trunk? -Is It possible. -And She was saved by someone that killed the other? -Deixamos All options open. -Legal, Sikkeland. Mutual-confidence now? -surely, On my part. Where is she from? Stay there! -Fatalidades Or injury? -Still Are there. -Milonkovic Was there? I do not know. The explosive was in the back. I suppose you have a good view of it and the league-Z? Yeah, good enough. -And What do you think caused it? Trafficking in war. The League-Z has dangerous friends, there will be revenge. -The Motorcycle club is a Balkan mafia? -This Is a very fast response. Anything is possible. Myself loose! -And Here comes Hamit Milonkovic. Quiet! -Do You! Let myself go! -There Are people in there! -It's My restaurant! I have employees there! I do not know how many. Lars! She was missing? -14-15 Years. Eurasian appearance. Where is she? -Estava Here. Who would be interested in harming you? I have no idea. You heard what happened in Mysen? -With Ferrymen? -What Your relationship with them? I have nothing to do with it. A girl was rescued. It has something to do with you? Nita? It's okay. Nita Caglar? This is the name she spoke. A Kurdish girl. Okay. She works a little for me. Without a permit visa, but that shit, I'm helping people. How old is she? 15. A friend of his daughter, perhaps? Zana lives in Sweden with his mother. What does this have to do with it? When was the last time you saw her? Six months ago. Where is she? She ran away from home. Reported her as missing. Why did she do it? How should I know? She contacted? -I Would say is yes. If I do not get hysterical, does not mean I do not care. Perhaps you do not have children. Then I'll tell you something. They are like a part of you. But you can not make them be better. So if there is something more, take me to the police station. One more thing. I never liked cops. No one died? That's great! Have you managed to track down the girl? Let's wait for the experts. Yes, now I can talk. No, I can not now. It was an agreement. Me neither. Maybe tomorrow. They will not be here, I will give a getaway. Yes, we talk tomorrow. Who was it? 'It was not anyone. Why do you want to give a getaway? -Henning And I are going to see in the woods. So I want to go out at night. Henning does not like to go there alone. I think you're lying. You can tell it was her mother. Let me see your phone. -how Come? It's mine. -We Have to trust each other. Trust me, then. What's happening? Hello. She thinks I talked to my mother. -I Think he's lying. Okay you want to talk to her. But do not go to Oslo, or know you're lying. -You Want to go there? -Do Not! Okay. Well ... -I'm Sorry. -Not To me that you have to ask. Forgive me. I understand that you must be tired. Message to all passengers. You can now return to their vehicles, but not trigger the engines. Please note that ... Or! Who the hell are you? -I Need to go. Just a moment. You got anything? -what Are you doing here? -I Need to go. Yes, I'll take you to the police. I slept only here. Yes, in my bed. Come on! How old are you? -No Shits. Come on, come with me. -Do Not! Let me go! 'I'm going to scream! Is that what you want? -Go For it. Perverted bastard! He wants to rape me! Sikkeland? Well ... Okay. Yes, great. Thank you. -Hi. -Hi. Hello again. Hamit Milonkovic, you are charged with deprivation of his daughter. Shit genuine. Why are you locked? Now you're crazy. I have not seen Zana since she disappeared. You said nothing about it to have arrived. It was because he wanted her to die there? That's why you cut the fire rope? 'You had the courage to blow up the bomb? -No Hear what I said? Shit genuine ! -You Have evidence for this? Zana has been there many times, willingly, but for a long time. The girl's apartment was treated for minor cuts before disappearing. The blood test confirms that it is Zana. Do not answer. I want to talk to my client. Okay. She arrived a few days ago. Something happened to her. I was afraid that she would get hurt. I would give a time to talk again, but failed. Zana disappeared and I snapped. Then you cut the fire rope to protect her? Do you understand me? I was afraid that she would get hurt. She was not afraid of anything. She could get hurt. Where were you from 9 at 9:30 am when the bomb went off? -With Him. -Discutíamos The visitation agreement. He's worried about her. So I hope we are ... Yes? What do you say? We're talking about cultural abyss? A colleague who cut the fire rope to protect her. Not to mention that he exploded right after all. Was it because he was afraid of her? He was afraid that she would kill? Or something? Nixon, where are you? Hi. 'I brought you coffee. 'I'm not drunk. I did not find it. I know encrenco me sometimes. but I will be able to stand? You can not be better than that? I took these. Do not worry. Mom and I arrange. He barely had become a full member. A larger funeral costs more money. We can do it be worth it even if it is small and intimate. -Let's Take it together. -What Do you think of the club? They cared about him. And me. We should not think about it? I refuse to go there, even for a funeral ... It was my husband. I who decides. The Ferrymen is more than a club of motorcyclists. You know that. Do not want to get involved with them. He lived for the club! -And Died for him too! -My Condolences. Thank you. My condolences. He was a good man. -I Can send flowers? -Of Course. Thank you. My condolences again. Let the memorial later if you want. They will make a memorial at the club and want me to be there. -You Can stay with Jimmy? No, you will not. You can be a cop, but you can not order me around. We can have it. Let's leave it. Health then. -It Was a beautiful funeral. -Yup. He was a very good people face. He was like a brother to me, you know? 'You just said that. Yes, but he was there. I do not sit and stare at someone kill my brother. Raymond! Free your mind. Preserves you! Sorry about that. -Get It. -Here Is for you. Thank you. I do not know what I'd do without you. It's up to you to get a job and stay alone. I want to ask you a favor. -Yup? -What It is between us? -Ok? -Yup. Christer saved a package for me. Do you understand what I mean? I do not know where he left. Maybe be with you. I do not know. -No ... Then you should check. -Of Course. Tonight. -Health! -Health! -And There, Philip. -Hi. Phillip should have come. He will inherit all this forest. How are they going? You go out together? -Do Not. -I See you now and then. I said no. Henning. Brand. Maybe he comes here with a chainsaw and drop everything. Want some coffee or something? Let's sit here. I saw Helen in the newspaper. It was crazy. Four guys were killed. 'You know something more than us? -Do Not. No, they are keeping secret. I stayed out of me to know that there is a killer where you live. How are you going, Mom? -Incredible! I can not wait to get out here and fix my life. You are halfway yet. Need to complete the program. I suppose. I need. And how are you? How are they? Have done well? -They Are good. Okay. And the school then? -Are You ... cool. Dating? Oh, tell me. What is her name? Henning. He treats you well? Do not say anything to Helen and Svend. -You Can leave. -Are You good? Yes, yes. You have to take another year. I started when I was thirteen. Then you can drink your coffee without crying on my nose? Do not make fun of a grown man. 'You thought I was tough? -I Was. You wash the dishes? I'm glad I came, Henning. I do not like it here after what happened. So let's run away? Play a little water on the fire. Nixon, where are you? Please answer me! Are you hurt? Not a scratch. And you? I need your help. Hello. I was asleep. Enters. 'I'm just going to change me. Coffee? -What Is prime the coffee. Come here. 'Tell me what you know. -What Do I know? Christer helped the police. He was an infiltrator. 'Do not you dare! Where's the package? No packet. I already tried. He gave to the cops? He would not! He was on their side, get it? Why would he do that? Ask your sister. -Relax. Nobody knows anything. What happened with Siri? Nothing. -They Paid for the funeral. I think they're angry now. The club has a code of honor when it comes to girls. If Siri does not know anything, she's safe. The police would take Christer Johansson's death at some point? -I Do not know. -You Can tell us about the circumstances? The police would not comment on the report in VG today. We comment on the technical findings? No. -You Can come here after? -Of Course. With thousand of these newspapers he will buy a new iPhone. Good morning to everyone! It will be a tough day, but we will do better. The moderation of the OS is not something to which we are accustomed. But there is something interesting in the Oslo police files. A car seized a girl who can be Zana, highway E6 in Mastemyr. Get nothing else from her, and she looked troubled, then they took her to the psychiatric hospital. She's there? -negative, She ran away. They warned the police, but no one found it. Find out if it was Zana. Siri? The number you called, not ... You see? Whether they find? -We Need to confess. -No Need, no! My father would kill me. -what Are you doing? -help Me. Play more. Thank you. Thank you. -was Zana. She was alone in the E6 after the killing. -Five Miles away? There is logic? -Geir Tangen is on the line. This is not the best time. -And About Zana ... -I do not think she was in shoals. It was a professional as the gunman. She would not escape. Or be released. What if she has been freed before? -So How she made it to the E6? She wanted to find her father. Were you looking for me? Not here! You brought your stuff? The car is there. Why do you not answer me? -The Battery is dead. Siri is a little ... -are You fine? What the fuck you think you are? Thought he could be quiet and I never find out? I could not say that Christer was helping us. There was nothing between Christer and I since high school. He worked for you! It was with you that he talked that night! I can cry if I want to! Okay. Sit down, Siri. -With Whom you spoke? 'They did not believe me. They think I knew, and now they want a lot of money. -With Whom you spoke? -I Did not say anything. A journalist found out. It was with you that he slept when we were discussing? Yes, a few nights on the couch. I've never been with him. You met secretly at night, was not it? Why do not you stop him? It was dangerous! It was you who did join ... What the fuck. You're not my sister. He wanted, right? He wanted revenge for what happened in Sweden. He was killed because he worked for you. You killed him! And now they're killing me, too. The same. You have to denounce them. I can help you. I do not want your help. -Why Said his father was islam? I thought you would find you exciting. What does it matter? Who knew about us? -I Do not know. I think no one. Let's go. I should say I'm dating a crown called Nixon? -You Said something to his father? -are You crazy? -You Should have mentioned something. Why I do it? I know what would happen if anyone found out. I know this is pedophilia. I'm young, but not stupid. I said nothing. -are You sure? -No'm Crazy. They would not understand. What country are you from? You did not tell. -Milão? -Milão Is not a country. Italy then? Would you like to go to Italy? And to Spain. And France. -E America. -For Disney. You have to get me out of here! I can not go back. I know. We're going to America. Thank you. I love you. We've got to track Zana. -Sensato. We will continue with the broad options. Something will take us forward. VG -Tangen is out there. -Falou With him? I told all I know, but it is not great. He gave me a double and Coca-Cola sandwich. Yes? I am here. I will not let it go. But it is so serious that I will tell you first. We have tips from a cocaine package by which Christer was responsible. Right? -you Do not know? This is an interview or a complaint? I can know about the whereabouts of this package. Yes? Camilla Bjerke? We will take you in for questioning and searching his apartment. Why is that? -how Come? -Recebemos A complaint. -A Complaint? About what? -I Can not say. I'm sorry. -You Want to dress? -are You kidding. It's all gonna be better. You'll see. I'm gonna be better. D.U.I.? You got me. Looks like we did. Carol's getting merc's job. I'm not good with secrets. Are you serious? Please, you cannot repeat this. Wait. So it's not castor soto? Hmm? No, I've never met him. But come on! Castor soto! What a coup. I spent a night here with rob. What night? Wednesday. Oh! Gah! Oh-h-h! You... You slept with rob? Yes. You "slept with him" slept with him? I-I... Did. You only dated him, what... twice? Right, twice. So, on 50% of your dates, you slept with rob. Or you... you could say I only slept with him on half our dates. Wow. What? Nothing. I just... I never thought of you as... What? Easy. Easy? Well, you wouldn't sleep with me until our fifth date. You were married. So are we! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Do not go there. You categorically told me we were over. Right. In fact, the night that rob and I... N-n-n-n... I actually called and asked if you wanted me to cancel my date. And what did you say? "Go. Go." I meant "go on a date," not "go fuck him"! Oh... God! Why did you have to tell me? Would you rather I'd lied? Maybe. Well, I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd want to sleep in the same bed... Oh, believe me... we are not sleeping in this bed. Yaah! Ugh! So where are we gonna sleep? Don't know. Maybe I should just go home. No. You are home. And we're not spending our first night back together apart. Look, I'm hating this as much as you are... Uh-huh. ...but we've got to move forward. What's done is done. You slept with morning. I slept with rob. And Matt. We're still counting that? Oh, it counts. You were with two people. I was only with one. True, but I slept with two people only once. You were with one person twice, so, in effect... apples to apples... I think we're even. And I think your maths only works if you're fucking the apples. Look, I'm just trying to help us get through this. How? How can I get through this? Maybe if he wasn't so handsome... Which one? Both. How can I compete with that? You had a world-famous TV star and a hunk that drives a truck. He drives a truck. Well, morning's no slouch. Ah. She's probably twice as old as both your guys. Even so, that body, those big tits... Oh, you did very well, my friend. I suppose. You did. And now it's time to put all that behind us. We agreed... fresh start. Fresh start. Right? Clean slate. Clean slate. What? What are you thinking about? Your dirty slate. Yo. Matt, I just got off the phone with Diane's lawyer. Oh, fuck. He told me about the D.U.I. The D.U.I. with the kids in the car. Got to say, didn't see that coming. It's bullshit. I was so not drunk. Believe me... I've driven drunk. I know the difference. I hope you told the cops that. Did you have any alcohol at all? Like two glasses of champagne, three tops. And the boys were in the car? Does it help that I was taking them to Disneyland? It does not. So, what do we do about Diane? I have no idea. You have no idea? You're my lawyer. Yeah, well, I'm thinking of leaving the law... Starting a zoo. Because I seem to have discovered the only animal in the known world that can actually fuck itself. Wow. Please don't take this the wrong way, Matt, but you are the worst client I ever had, seriously. I'd happily trade you for two Mel Gibsons and a Tiger Woods. Jesus! As far as the D.U.I., this is your first offense, amazingly, so we can probably get you off with a little community service. As far as Diane, you're on your own. Jesus! Yep. The new guy's changing everything. Time to get out the old résumés. Well, I think that's premature. I don't have a résumé. How do you not have a résumé? This is the only place I've ever worked. Well, except for the summer after college. I was one of the snow whites at Disneyland. I never knew that. I worked the Graveyard Shift. Well, I think it's way too soon to start packing up our desks. Come on. You know he's gonna bring in his own people. No, we don't. we haven't even met him yet. He might want to keep things intact. Seriously? And not clean house? He's throwing out merc's toilet. Mm. Stop it. We need to stay positive. I have a good feeling about this. You do? I don't. Well, I really do. I am so fucked. No way this guy isn't gonna clean house. Well, you haven't even met him yet. I don't need to. It's what I would do. But you're brilliant at your job. Why wouldn't he want to keep you? Because I'm brilliant at it. Okay, you know what you mean, but... You never want someone who can do your job better than you can. Why do you think I've got Andy and myra? Plus, if this guy finds out they offered me the job before him, forget it! Fucked! Normally, at this point, I would try and be encouraging... Yeah, no point in that. That's what I'm thinking. How did this happen? Last week, they're asking me to run the network, and tomorrow, I'm gonna be blowing guys just to get a job. Figuratively. Of course. For the record, I've never blown anyone for a job. Impressive! Mm-hmm. Oh, wait. There we go. When I first started out, I gave a handjob to the head of development at nickelodeon. Nickelodeon? ! He was an adult. It's for kids, not run by kids. Oh. Right. I suddenly had an image. Yeah, like I'd Jack off some 12-year-old for a job. I really don't think I would. Good. Unless it was like some amazing... Stop talking. Yeah, okay. Good morning. Hey. How was the weekend? All right. What's the matter? Nothing. Bullshit. What's going on? I'd really rather not discuss it. Not discuss what? When a person says he'd really rather not discuss it... Is it about the show? No. So, then...? Believe it or not, some things are not your concern. Well, tell me what it is, and I'll see if I agree. Is it, like, something serious? I'm not having this conversation. Yeah, we are. Come on. I care. Tell me. No! Okay, you're starting to freak me out. Is it, like, cancer? No, it is not cancer. Well, I don't know. Is it... is it bev? Does she have... No. No one has cancer! Ed has cancer. What? It's okay. You didn't know. Jesus Christ. What is going on? She slept with rob. Who? Bev, my wife. No, I know who bev is. Who's rob? Morning's brother. With the truck. What truck? He had a truck! Anyway, last week, before we got back together, she slept with him. No shit? And she told you? To her credit, she felt we needed to be honest. What, is she stupid? And this was gonna be your big, like, "finally back together" weekend? Yeah. For fans of irony, it's a real treat. Man. I figured you two would be fucking like bunnies. More like bunnies with awkward silences and sullen looks. I actually slept on the sofa. Seriously? Well, I don't want to sleep in her bed. She doesn't want to sleep in mine. That's not good for the bunnies. No. I'm sure, eventually, we'll get past this, but oh, my God! I was so not prepared for something else I had to get past. I mean, it would be one thing if he was the only one. Christ. Who else? Yes, yes. We all love the draft. You are so good. Wow. Thank you. We really don't even have any notes. I think you just became my favorite network. Just a few tone questions. O-kay. We're a little concerned that the characters all seem a bit too... angry. Oh... Well, it... it's called "angry men," so... No, I know, and we love it. Mm. Shouldn't we maybe wait till the new guy starts and see what he thinks? I think we want to make sure he's seeing the best possible version of this. Maybe this is the best possible version. It's not. I'm gonna kill somebody. Phew. Thought that was just happening in my head. Excuse me a moment. Okay, stop! Stop! I know you have jobs to do, but so do we, and it's just... it's... it's impossible! Seriously! Enough! How many fucking bookshelves does this guy need? ! It's true. I heard he can't even read. No one told us you were coming in today. I'd have prepared a more embarrassing way to meet you. I don't know. You set the bar pretty high. Oh. That's funny. I'm Carol... Rance. I know. I just came in to look at the space. How are you with decorating? Uh, try me. Okay. When you were thinking of taking this job, where were you gonna put your desk? Uh... I always thought here. So you could see the view... Plus it's more convenient for jumping. Clearly, you've given this some thought. I have. Just so you know... Mm. ...the reason I didn't take the job is, I really think I'm at my best when I'm supporting someone else. I'm a great number two. Yeah, I don't want a great number two. Sure. I get that. I want a partner. Hey, mertala. Is she here? Who is it? ! It's Mr. Matt! Tell him to go the fuck away! That's what she says. I just want to talk to you for a minute! Tell him, no, he's an asshole. That, too. Don't even start. I didn't say anything yet. I know what you're gonna say. No, you don't. Bullshit. First, you'll deny it. Then you'll lie about it. Then you'll say you're sorry and swear it'll never, ever, ever happen again. Then it happens again. You're making my sauce? I'm making sauce. Put the butter in yet? No, 'cause it's not your sauce. It's better with the butter. I'm not putting your fucking butter in. Hey, I get it. You're mad. But don't blame the butter. Look, this whole D.U.I. thing is bullshit. You were arrested for driving drunk with our kids in the car. Well, when you say it like that, yeah, it sounds terrible. I had a couple glasses of champagne. You tell me you never had a few drinks and then drove the kids? I know you did. You just never got caught. Yeah, well, not anymore. I haven't had a drink in six weeks. Why? Somebody's got to be a grown-up, and clearly, it's not you. Uh... grown-ups drink. I've been seeing someone. Like... A shrink? Like a guy. Who? You don't know him. And he doesn't drink? He's been sober for 15 years. Sounds horrible. Wait. Is that whose car is out front? Yeah. I'm on a waiting list for one of those. How'd he get it? He's a dealer. Drugs? Cars. Asshole. So, where is he? He took the boys for a bike ride. He's alone with the boys? So? So you're giving me shit about my parenting skills, and some total stranger is off with... he's not a total stranger. Yeah? Well, how well do you know this guy? Well. How well? Well enough that we're getting married. That's... pretty damn well. So, when you say you want a partner... Yeah, that's not exactly true. I don't want a partner. Ah. I want you as my partner. I've heard good things. I want to find out if they're true. If they're good, they're definitely true. What scares you most? Don't think. Just answer. Bees. You know what scares me? Mediocrity. Safe choices, hedged bets, a willingness to settle for the easy and familiar. I would really like to take back "bees." Geez. Married? I didn't even know you were dating. 'Cause it's none of your business. You don't tell me when you're screwing your stalker. Hey, careful. They're starting to get too small. Oh, right. Mr. big balls. I'm just saying, they're gonna dry out when you fry them. I'm baking them. Oh, you're killing me. So, uh, how'd you get the kids not to tell me? Really? The never mentioned Ollie? Wait. This guy's Ollie? They fucking talk about Ollie all the time. I thought they made him up. What? It's always like, "we went to the zoo with Ollie. We built a fort with Ollie." "Yeah, okay." Nope. He's real. And he's really all right? No, I'm gonna marry some douchebag. Uh, hello? He's a good guy. Well, he better be. He is. He's good with the boys. He likes my mother. He likes your mother? Sober? Go figure. Pain in the ass. Well, you know, if I don't like him, this whole thing is off. Right. Seriously. Okay. Better, right? You know it's better. Mmm, mmm. Fuck ratings. I don't care about ratings. Well, that's easy to say... I don't. I don't care if we fail. Failing's fine! If we go down in flames, at least there were flames! Wow. If we're gonna do this, I want to do TV that's bold and thrilling and dangerous! I can be dangerous. I-I can. You don't seem dangerous. That's what makes me so dangerous. I like you. I like you, too. I think you are so much more than you've been allowed to be. Really? You need to stop trying to please people. Can you do that? If that's what you want. I don't think she's coming back. Amazing. She gave you another chance? You are an evil genius. You're too kind. And you're okay with her getting married again? Yeah. Why not? Your ex-wife ever remarry? No. I like to think she exhausted all her misery on me and then left the business. So I'm guessing you don't miss her. No. I do miss my current wife. Yeah, you guys are idiots. Thank you. So, what, you're just never gonna have sex again? Probably not. It's funny. You know, I never had a problem screwing in a bed where another guy's been. You've never had a problem screwing in a woman where another guy's been. You told him you were dangerous? You're so non-dangerous. I know! But I swear, with him, I feel like I could be. Mm-hmm. There's something about him that's so dynamic. This confidence... I have not felt this excited about work in I don't know how long. Dear God... exhale. Oh. Oh! And let me tell you... is that boy easy on the eyes. Don't. I know... don't do voices. Thank you. Seriously, he is hot. Obviously, I would never go there. Please. You keep an apartment there. Nope. Not gonna happen. I'm happy just to be around him, to work with him, to learn from him. He is amazing. I hear myself talking to these people, and... They're listening to me. I mean, really listening and nodding. And no one seems to notice I'm so full of shit. Like, this one woman was just eating it up. And, on one hand, I felt relieved 'cause, you know, I was getting away with it. But at the same time... I felt such... contempt for her. And then things started really getting bad. The words I was saying didn't even sound like words anymore. And then the walls started making that noise, and I just had to get out of there. So I'm sitting in my car, and I'm just...... Just trying to breathe. And it's like I'm... I'm breathing ink. And then I become the ink. I'm like this me-shaped bag of black, viscous ink. And even now, as I'm talking to you, I still feel... Kind of gelatinous. And I'm consumed with an unbearable self-loathing. And I can hear the furniture whispering. Maybe we should try adjusting your medication again. Maybe. I'm guessing either Carol or Willie Nelson was here. That bad? Not if you're in a reggae band. So, listen, I, um... I'm thinking of staying at my place tonight. What? No. I'll just open some windows. It's not that. I just think... It might be easier if I'm in my place. Stop saying "your place." This is your place. Is it? What are we doing? Don't know. There's no version of this that feels right. I'm looking for Sean or Beverly Lincoln? Yes? We got a delivery here. Where do you want it? You like it? They told me nobody's fucked on it yet. Oh, it's amazing! It's brilliant! Thank you. Seriously, an evil genius. Well, sleep tight, you guys. Or don't. Okay. Thank you. Night-night. Thanks again! Bye. This is insane! I know! Feel this! Ha ha! I'd rather feel this. Clean slate, baby! Clean slate! No more ghosts. No. Bye-bye, rob, with your big, stupid truck! So long, morning! Don't let the door hit your tits on the way out! See you around, Matt! Don't trip on your... your giant dick! Your... giant dick. I'm exhausted. Long day. Long week. Very. Oh, this does feel like heaven. Should come with a warning... "may cause drowsiness." "Do not operate heavy machinery." Mm. Anyway... Yeah. Mm. Fresh sheets. Mm. Yeah, real fresh. Well, sleep tight. You too. Night. Night. Love you. Love you, too. Something's broken here. I'm not saying that it's not. I... We don't...see things the same way anymore -- Our roles in this whole thing. I can't trust you. We are family. You say that like it's some sort of cure-all, like it can change the fact that everything that has ever gone wrong between us has been because we're family. Audience: 15, 14, 13, 12... 11, 10, 9... 8, 7... 6, 5... No chipmunking allowed! Swallow or you're disqualified! ...2, 1... [ Buzzer, whistle blows ] [ Cheers and applause ] Looks like we got a wiener! Yeah! [ Laughs ] He cheated! Hey, back off, Skeletor. I won fair and square. Like hell you did, Jabba! I saw you slip a hot dog in your pocket! Well, I hate to break it to you, pal, but that's no hot dog. Audience: Ohh! [ Laughs ] [ Cheers and applause ] [ Laughing ] Mmm. [ Thud ] [ Laughs ] Mmm. [ Groans ] [ Groans, choking ] [ Slurping ] ♪ Supernatural 9x13 ♪ The Purge Original Air Date on February 4, 2014 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man [ groans ] Hey. Hey. You go to bed last night? What? Uh, no. [ Clears throat ] No, "Rudy" was on. "Unforgiven," and then I was too jacked to sleep, so...research. Sam: Gadreel? And Metatron and the mark of Cain and... Crickets. I did find us a case, though. Oh, yeah? Yeah, was a strange death in Stillwater, Minnesota. A competitive eater died after a hot dog-eating contest. So, what? Death by tube steak? If only. Dean: He got attacked in his car, but, uh, get this -- he shrunk from 300 pounds to 90 pounds. Witchcraft? Or a heavy-duty laxative. You game? Yeah. Good. Looks like it's a whore's bath for me. I'll be ready in five. You sure you're okay, Dean? Why wouldn't I be? 'Cause -- I don't know you... This isn't about what I said the other day, is it? Oh, about that we're not supposed to be brothers? No, don't flatter yourself. I don't break that easy. Oh, good, 'cause I was just being honest. Oh, yeah. No, I got that loud and clear. [ Telephones ringing, police radio chatter ] Thanks for your patience, agents. Coroner's report finally came in. All right, thank you. All right, let's see. Did Wayne McNut really weigh 300 pounds just moments before time of death? 316 to be exact. And the official cause of death? Cardiac arrest. But between you and me, that's just a guess. The vic suffered massive organ damage. Here you go, Jenny. Ruptured spleen, pierced liver, collapsed lung. Looked like everything was just [slurps] Sucked right out of him. Like he'd been hoovered? Yeah. Yeah, you know, I got to be honest, fellas -- hm? We're stumped. This type of thing just doesn't happen in Stillwater. Now, did Wayne have any enemies? Hmm. More like an unfriendly rivalry. A guy named "Slim Jim" Morgan. Like Wayne, he was pretty well-known in the competitive-eatin' circuit. Competitive-eating circuit? Is that a big thing out here? Oh, yeah. You betcha. Folks take it real seriously -- train for months. Eat all sorts of wackadoo stuff, you know, like, uh... Baked beans, buff wings, butter. Butter? Yeah. Sometimes deep-fried. Hm. This year alone, Wayne won the Butter Bowl, the Wing Ding, and Shrimptasia. Anyhoo, point being, Wayne McNut was the only one Slim Jim couldn't beat in the whole Great Lakes region. So is he a suspect? We checked him out, but Slim Jim was in the Hot Doggery at the time of Wayne's death, and we got 15 witnesses to prove it. Really? Yeah. Training. When I gear up for a competition, I eat lettuce -- stretches the stomach. Yet another reason to stay away from salads. How well did you know Wayne McNut? Well, well enough to know he was a weasel and a cheat. I hate to say it, but, uh, karma's a bitch. This is interesting. Mala's good-luck charms. And Mala is...? My old lady. Is your old lady superstitious? Yeah. She's Romanichal. Romanichal? Gypsy. But don't call her that. She says it's reductive. But I think it's a compliment. I mean, gypsies are all the rage on TV -- "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding," "Gypsy Sisters"... "Keeping up with the Kardashians." Um [Clears throat] you mind if I use your bathroom? Yeah, go ahead. But use the one upstairs at the back. Mala's taking a shower in ours. Right. Did you really lose the "Wiener Winner" by one dog? Yeah. [ Water running, door creaks ] [ Exhales sharply ] [ Water stops ] And what are we talkin'? Six inches? Foot-long? Look, agent. Am I a suspect here or what? 'Cause unless you got a warrant -- [ Clears throat ] You, uh, ready to go? Yeah. Uh, Mr. Morgan, thank you for your time. If you remember anything else, this is our number and where we're staying locally. All right, so, we got what appears to be Wayne McNut's hair and... a bag full of weird. In Romanichal culture, the pouch is called a putsi bag. It's used for hexes. Okay, so, what? Mala's putting hexes on hubby's competition? I mean, what do we got ourselves? A "thinner" sitch here? Slim Jim might not even know. Hm. [ Knock on door ] Hi. I believe you have something of mine. Kill Wayne? I loved him! Dean: So...you were... Yes. Okay? We were having an affair -- for years, actually. I don't mean to be rude, uh... But how is it that Wayne McNut is your type? I mean, you're married to a man who's barely a buck -- wet. What can I say? Sometimes it's nice to feel a little give. Oh. Yeah, I get that -- a little extra cushion for the, uh... Help me understand something. If you loved Wayne, why did you put a curse on him? It wasn't a curse. Putsi bags are also used for blessings. I wanted Wayne to win. [ Sighs ] Plan was, take the prize money, get a quickie divorce, and then tie the knot in Orlando. Wayne used to call me his "Princess Jasmine." [ Joe Cocker Jennifer Warnes' "Up Where We Belong" plays ] ♪ Love lifts us up where we belong ♪ ♪ where the eagles cry ♪ on a mountain high [ Machine beeping ] ♪ Love lifts us up where we belong ♪ ♪ far from the world below ♪ up where... [ Music stops ] [ Sighs ] [ Exhales deeply ] [ Beep ] I gained weight? How is that even possible? [ Clatter ] Hello? Anyone there? [ Chuckles lightly ] [ Sighs ] Let's try this again. [ Sighs ] [ Sighs ] [ Beep ] [ Grunts ] [ Grunts ] [ Gasps ] [ Groaning ] [ Screaming and crying ] [ Inhales sharply ] [ Gasping ] [ Beep ] [ Police radio chatter ] Any idea what the vic weighed beforehand? 165. So...180. Known fact -- all women lie about their weight and age. Wait, you told that waitress the other day you were 29. Mm-hmm. Need anything else, agents? Yeah, is Sheriff Hanscum around? Sorry. She's out for the rest of the week. Hell of a time to take a vacation, right? Okay, so, we have two victims, with seemingly nothing in common except, uh -- a love for eclairs. Check this out. What is that? A birthmark? Huh. So the weight had to come off somehow, right? What if it's a suction mark? A suction mark? Okay. Uh, changeling? Yeah, but changelings don't take over kids. Neither of the vics had any. And we don't know if Wayne McNut had a suction mark. Unless we missed it. Yeah. Well, we should, uh, split up. One of us should hit the morgue. The other should stay here and question the staff. I'll stay. Ain't gonna happen. Why? Because you're weird around girls. What does that mean, weird? You're awkward. You know, weird - - Sam Weird. Sorry, man. I'm just being honest. Dean: So, you were scheduled to close the gym last night? Yeah, but I didn't exactly lock up. Carol was still working out, and [sighs] I had a date. I didn't want to shortchange her, you know? I mean, the poor girl has been working so hard to lose weight for her wedding. I slipped her the key, and I told her to lock up on her way out. [ Gasps ] Oh, it's all my fault. [ Exhales sharply, sniffles ] Hey. Find anything at the morgue? Yeah. Uh, so, Wayne was banged up pretty bad. But on the back of his neck, just below his hairline... suction mark -- identical to Carol's. Okay, so, they both had marks, just like the hot trainer at Rollz. But she was skinny... and alive. And just recently lost a ton of weight. When I asked her about the mark, she, uh -- she clammed up, got all embarrassed. So, uh, I did some checking. And it turns out that she took a couple of "me" days last month and, uh, went here. Canyon Valley? Hm. Yeah. [ Mid-tempo music plays ] [ Peruvian accent ] When you look in the mirror, do you recognize the fat person staring back at you? Have you tried every fad diet, every fitness trend out there, but nothing seems to work? Here at Canyon Valley, we guarantee weight loss with no surgery... No extreme dieting and no intensive workout regimen. Guaranteed results in one week! You can reach your weight-loss goals. We did. But only if you reach for the phone and call Canyon Valley... Now. How far away is that place? Couple of hours. [ Engine revs ] Sam: We were really, really moved by the online testimonials. Oh, yeah. That was some powerful stuff. Maritza: And you boys are both certified personal trainers? Yeah. Yeah, personal training brothers. Kind of like Hans and Franz, but, uh, less German. [ Laughs ] And you're certified in... Makin' people sweat! Yeah. Kickin' ass and takin' names! That's how we do! Uh... [ Both chuckle ] Uh, to clarify, uh, what my brother's trying to say is, w-w-we both have a passion for-for fitness and helping people. Oh, us too. Hm. In fact, that's how we first met. I was Maritza's first client back in Peru. I was on a student visa -- homesick, stressed, eating my troubles away. Oh, he was the size of a casa. Oh, it's true! [ Chuckles ] I was one empanada away from a heart attack. But then this... gorgeous godsend made me the lean, mean, fighting machine I am today. [ Chuckles ] Hm. [ Breathing rapidly ] Ho! Oh. [ Laughter ] But I digress. Now, the good news is, we are hiring. The bad news is, there's only one trainer position available. How do you feel about working in another department? Huh? Nice shorts. Nice hairnet. Yeah, why do I got to be the lunch lady? Since when have you ever complained about being around food? Okay, this is not food. [ Peruvian accent ] Hey, new guy. Quit flirting' with the trainer and keep scooping', huh? It's all right. My, uh... Ashtanga yoga class starts in five minutes. How the hell do you know anything about yoga? You're not the only one who's ever dated someone bendy. Hey, you have any oatmeal? [ Chuckles ] Yeah, I wish. No, but we have, uh, something that's tofu over there. I -- what is that? It's a pancake. It's tofu. I feel like a baby asking this, but... Will the treatment hurt? Not at all. The only drawback of cupping is, it leaves a suction mark. It can bruise a little. Cupping? Yes, ancient Chinese secret. All the celebrities do it. It draws out toxins, boosts metabolism. You'll feel good. [ Exhales deeply ] Who knew? [ Yawns ] Oh, excuse me. It's just so relaxing in here. It's the aromatherapy. The lavender really packs a punch. Huh. Ahh. Geez. That's wa-a-a-rm. [ Snores ] [ Snoring ] [ Slurping ] Flojo. You got time to lean, you got time to clean, huh? I'm starving. What do we get to eat? Same as the clients. They expect us to eat this rabbit food? It's not rabbit food. It's super food. I'm not eating it. [ Sighs ] At Canyon Valley, we're supposed to lead by example. This is leading by example? It's not for us, stupido. It's for the clients. They're allowed to have pudding on their spa day. It's like a -- a last hurrah before the real work starts. [ Sighs ] Get to work. Hey, Frank. Frank: Yeah? We need to order more asparagus. Okay. [ Sighs ] Mm. What do you know? Looks like it's my "spa day," too. [ Chuckles lightly ] [ Tranquil music plays ] Sam: Okay, good job, guys. Go to, uh... Downward dog. [ Grunts ] Hold for five minutes. [ Exhales sharply ] Five minutes? It's usually 30 seconds. Right. Yeah, 30 seconds. That's what -- that's what I mean. Okay, uh, I'll just come around, make sure everybody's form is okay, make sure you're, uh, keeping your cores tight, and, uh, your -- uh, good job. Great. Straighten that back out. Mmm. [ Bowl clanks ] Mm. [ Thud ] [ Clapping ] Well done today! Good job! Good work, guys! Good work! Namaste! Okay. Good work. See you all soon. Good job. How was class? It was, uh...great. Yeah. Agent Frehley? What are you doing here? Agent Frehley? Uh, I-I-I don't know. She must be pretty out of it, huh? [ Cellphone rings ] Oh, excuse me. Sorry. I got to get this. Yeah? Have a good one. [ Slurred ] Sammy. Dean? What's wrong with you? I need your help. Where are you? Dean? ! Sweet potatoes. Sw... Dean? Dean! Dean? Dean! Dean: Sammy. Dean! Hey! Hey! [ Grunts ] Wake up! [ Groans ] What took you so long? What the hell happened? ! I was drugged. Dru-- what? [ Groans ] Pudding. It was supposed to be for the clients, but I couldn't resist. What, salted caramel? Yeah, man. The best of both worlds -- salty and sweet. Right. Uh... [ Bowl clanks ] All right, you stay here. No, no, I'm gonna come with you. Go ahead, man. I'll catch up. [ Clinking ] Hey. Did you make the pudding? Depends. On what? Whether you liked it or not. [ Grunts ] What's in it? Relax, Jack Lalanne. It's low-cal. Nonfat milk, sea salt -- No, no. Not the ingredients. The something extra. Chill, man. Supplements, okay? Dean: What kind of supplements? Sam: Here. Hey. [ Exhales deeply ] To boost metabolism, per Larry and Maritza. These aren't "supplements", they're roofies. What? How do you know what roofies look like? How do you not know? You think I want to end up in a hotel bathtub with my kidney carved out? In Chechnya? [ Sighs ] [ Groans ] Did you find anything out in the yoga? Yeah. Yeah. "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." Every single person in class had one of those freaky-ass suction marks. What the hell's goin' on here? Donna: You know, I didn't mean to bail on you fellas, but I've been waiting over six months to get into Canyon Valley. And let me tell ya, it was worth it. I already lost 10 pounds! In -- in one day? No offense, Sheriff -- 'cause you look great -- um, but aren't you the least bit curious as to how you dropped 10 in a day? Well, to tell you the truth, Agent, I don't really give a flyin' fudge. [ Chuckles ] My husband, Doug, left me last year 'cause he said I loved cookie-dough milkshakes more than him. Sorry to hear that. Dean: Yeah, Doug's a dick. You deserve better. Thanks. But he was right. That was a dark time for me. Whoever said you eat your pain? Not me. I guzzled it. [ Laughs ] Anyhoo... I guess I just wanted to feel pretty again. And Canyon Valley did that. Only question is... What are you doing here? [ Clears throat ] We're, uh, uh... We're undercover. Yeah. Sort of got that. We think that there's a connection between Canyon Valley and the murders in town. What kind of connection? Suction marks. [ Chuckles ] You mean like this? Yeah. Where did that come from? My spa treatment. Cupping. Cupping? Yeah. You know, I thought it was gonna hurt, but honestly, I snoozed through the whole thing. By the time I woke up, I was down two dress sizes. Before the cupping, did you eat any pudding? Darn tootin'. Licked the bowl clean. [ Laughs ] Donna, do you remember who did this treatment? Oh, yeah. You betcha. [ Laughs ] Evelyn, you are looking great. Just 10 more pounds till your goal weight. Do you mind if I borrow my wife for a sec? I'll be back. [ Chuckles ] Looking good, ladies. Thank you. [ Chuckles ] The new guys aren't personal trainers. What are you talking about? I did a little digging. I found this in their glove compartment. They're Feds? Worse. They're hunters. Why are hunters here? Maybe because of this. Oh, my God. Do you think -- I do. What are we going to do? Relax. I'll take care of it. Just get rid of the evidence. [ Sighs ] Okay, I'm no health nut, but that... is just wrong. All right, talk. This isn't what you think. I'm not a killer. Well, then, what are you? I'm a Pishtaco. A fish taco? A Pishtaco. It means "Peruvian fat sucker". Never heard of it. So, what, you're like vamps with a sweet tooth for cellulite? Vampires kill. We're just... Parasites. Oh, well, in that case -- Look, I would never hurt anybody! Okay, this -- this is why Larry and I started Canyon Valley. We could help people lose weight, and I could feed. It was a win-win. Yeah, except for the two you dysoned to death. That wasn't me. Well, then who was it? Alonso. The dude from the cafeteria? He's my brother. [ Breathing heavily ] I knew you were a lost cause. Unlike your sister, you're weak. Good to see you, too, Larry. How could you do this to her? To us? Do what? [ Scoffs ] This. Oh, that. Oh [scoffs] yeah, that. You know what that means? Huh? Now there are hunters here! It's your fault, blanco! If you didn't starve me, maybe -- Listen, freak! Your sister and I spent years building this operation. And if you think I'm gonna let your gluttony destroy it, you got another thing coming. I want you out. Now. I'm not leaving Maritza. Well, I got news for you, pal. She doesn't want you here, either. Either you leave... or I'll make you. [ Man screams ] [ Clatter ] [ Sniffles ] [ Voice breaking ] I brought Alonso here from Peru to show him a better way, a more civilized way. One where we weren't monsters. [ Sniffles ] That the secret to coexisting with humans was just... eating enough to get by. Sam: Let me guess. Alonso wasn't a big fan of portion control, was he? No. During a routine treatment, he almost killed a client. He sucked out too much fat. I demoted him to kitchen duty -- no human contact, just fat from a jar. But he said the more I deprived him, the hungrier he got. [ Sobbing ] And now three people are dead. My husband... [ Sobs ] Where's Alonso right now? The -- the basement? That's -- that's where he spends most of his time now. [ Sniffles ] What about her? Well, till we figure out which side she's on, she stays put. I am on your side. Okay. Then how do we kill him? [ Sighs ] [ Grunts ] You and stupido have no chance. The fat makes us stronger. Your sister didn't mention that when she ratted you out. You're lying! [ Growls ] [ Grunting ] [ Panting ] I guess after you killed her husband... you were too monstrous, even for her. [ Grunts ] [ Both grunting ] [ Exhales sharply ] [ Gasps ] [ Hisses ] [ Gasps ] [ Panting ] [ Inhales deeply, panting ] [ Breathing heavily ] Man: We'll let you know if we need any other information. Thanks for everything. Appreciate it. Hey. What did you tell the sheriff? The usual -- psycho killer on the loose. They, uh... usually buy it. I lost my whole family today. I'm so sorry. I... Can I steal you a sec? Once this place clears out, we're gonna make this a family affair. Wait, Dean. [ Chuckles ] We're not gonna kill Maritza. She's a monster. Yeah, who saved our asses. You said that you wanted to keep things strictly business. Well, last I checked, we were in the business of killing monsters. I wanted to keep things strictly business between us. But I still have a heart. What if I had crossed paths with a hunter back when I was possessed by Gadreel? I could've ended up dead, too. Would I have deserved that? Would I have deserved to die? So, one-way ticket to Peru? I'm hitting it. Yeah. Hey. Yeah? About what you said the other day. I thought it didn't bother you. You know, Sam, I saved your hide back there. And I saved your hide at that church... And the hospital. I may not think things all the way through. Okay? But what I do, I do because it's the right thing. I'd do it again. And that... is the problem. Y-you think you're my savior, m-my brother, the hero. You swoop in, and even when you mess up, you think what you're doing is worth it because you've convinced yourself you're doing more good than bad... But you're not. I mean, Kevin's dead, Crowley's in the wind, uh... We're no closer to beating this angel thing. Please tell me, what is the upside of me being alive? You kidding me? You and me -- fighting the good fight together. [ Sighs ] [ Sighs ] Okay. Just once, be honest with me. You didn't save me for me. You did it for you. What are you talkin' about? I was ready to die. I was ready. I should have died, but you... You didn't want to be alone, and that's what all this boils down to. You can't stand the thought of being alone. All right. I'll give you this much. You are certainly willing to do the sacrificing as long as you're not the one being hurt. All right, you want to be honest? If the situation were reversed and I was dying, you'd do the same thing. No, Dean. I wouldn't. Same circumstances... I wouldn't. I'm gonna get to bed. == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man Previously on-- Power Rangers... And now... A new era is about to begin. It's a shame you will not be here to see it coming. Knight power, energize! [pink] Robo Knight! You cannot stop our invasion of Earth from happening. Fire! Your highness... It has been an honor to serve you. What? If I were you, I would go into hiding. The armada will be here any minute. Your brother, the prince, won't recognize you, and may mistake you for an enemy. Even though I couldn't do it myself, I take comfort knowing that you will be destroyed soon. Watch out! Argus. Levira. Our invasion went well. The humans barely put up a fight. Yes, your majesty. Give the word, and I'll send in the second wave of xborgs to finish them. The special weapons I've developed will assure our victory. I wish I had a device that could locate your lost brother, Vrak. Thank you. But we must assume Vrak fell in battle. We will avenge my brother's destruction, and claim Earth as our own. [laughs] ♪ Megaforce ♪ ♪ Power Rangers megaforce ♪ ♪ Go go Power Rangers ♪ ♪ Go go Power Rangers ♪ ♪ Rangers forever ♪ ♪ Megaforce all together ♪ ♪ Megaforce ♪ ♪ Megaforce ♪ ♪ Go go Power Rangers ♪ ♪ Go go Power Rangers ♪ ♪ Rangers forever ♪ ♪ Megaforce all together ♪ ♪ Megaforce ♪ ♪ Power Rangers megaforce ♪ [Prince] Send in the xborgs. Time for the glory of destruction. Let's wreak so much havoc that the humans have no other option but to surrender. [whimpering] Phoenix shot! Ha! Heeya! Ugh. Anybody here? Ha! [whimpering] Oh. sorry. Are you okay? Yes. Just a little shaken. Well, that's understandable. Don't worry, I got all the ones in the mall. You're safe for now. Ugh. Blue looking for someone? Well, someone's found you. [grunts] Yah! Ugh! Hello? Is anyone here? Are those things gone? I thought they were going to get us. You're safe. I took care of them. But now I need you to help take care of the school. Look for any other kids that might be hiding. We've all got to look out for each other now. Stay strong. You guys can do this. [grunting and groaning] Oh boy, oh boy. It's good to see you. I was so worried. Are you all right? Ugh. We're fine. We tried calling you, but the armada must have knocked out all communications. [grunting] [both] Huh? Oh. It's so good to see you guys. Likewise, buddy. What a relief. I'm glad you're OK. [noah] You too, Tensou. Mm. Where are the others? I'm here. It's still rough out there. Yeah. There's squads of those xborgs everywhere. I stopped by the school. Kids are working to put things back in order. We're not the only ones refusing to let these creeps beat us. But we have to figure out a way to beat that armada. The world has never seen an invasion like this. [screaming and explosions] The villains you have fought against this past year were just the tip of the spear. The armada is an overwhelming foe. I can't believe the warstar aliens were just the opening act. Shh. [banging] Listen. [footsteps] Are you sure you weren't followed? [all sigh] Dude. It's just like the first day of school. You're late, but you know how to make an entrance. I've been searching for Robo Knight. Can you locate him? [Gosei] I am sorry, Troy. I cannot. The armada has affected our communication systems. But I know we will beat this new enemy because of your fighting spirits. It is finally time for you to tap into the infinite power that lines the walls of this command center. These will be your new morphers. With these, and your new ranger keys, you will be able to unlock your super megaforce mode. A mode even stronger than ultra mode? [laughs] Incredible. [Gosei] That's not all. The figures that line this command center are actually keys to unlocking extraordinary new powers. By using them in your new morphers, you will gain access to legendary mode, where you can tap into the special powers of all the rangers that preceded you. But it will challenge your strength every time you morph into a legendary power ranger. Nothing we ever do is easy, but we'll take the challenge. Wow. We can really use all these powers? The aliens are in for a big surprise. Um, am I the only one who notices that my key is the wrong color? Jake, there's a simple explanation for that. [explosions] [screams] They almost hit the command center. Go rangers. Put your new powers to use. [Damaras] Headridge's forces are making progress, sire, but we've lost some xborgs. [grunts] Shall I send more in? Just do whatever it takes. I want this entire planet wiped clean of humans. You can't hide from your fate. Nothing will save you. [panting] [headridge] Seeing you cower just proves how good I am at my job. No. Mega blaster. [battle cry] The rangers. At last, a real fight. [pink] We're outnumbered. [blue] That's never stopped us before. And it won't now. Come and meet your doom. We better go ultra mode. No. Not ultra. Super mega. Let's power up. [rangers] Super mega mode. [grunting] Super megaforce red. Super megaforce blue. Super megaforce yellow. Super megaforce green. Super megaforce pink. [growling] Super mega blaster. [battle cries] Ugh. [growls] All of you, get someplace safe. [battle cries] Xborgs. [grunting] Heads up. Ugh. [battle cries] [grunts] Back off. [grunting] There's a lot of these creeps. Wow. These new green powers rock. Ugh. Super mega mode is wild. Let's switch things up. [grunts] I need more fire power. Guys. Give me a blaster. Right. Coming your way. Heads up, Jake. That'll work. Thanks. Ugh. Nice switch. Now, put it to good use. I'm on it. Twice the firepower means zero xborgs. [grunting] Huh? [grunting] [grunting] Let's switch up too. [grunting] You got it. [grunts] [grunting] Hiya! [grunting] I just can't get over these new powers. Yah! You got that right. Ugh. [grunting] saber whip. How many of these guys' butts do we have to kick? Time to go to the next level. Really? - I'm in. - Mm. Let's try it. Legendary ranger mode-- samurai. [both] Ready. [both]Ready. Woo hoo. Yeah. They're doing it. Whoo-hoo. All right. This is an historic moment for the Power Rangers. Ready. Go go, samurai. Power Rangers samurai. - Sweet. - Let's try another legendary mode. [all] Legendary ranger mode, Mystic force. Ready. Magical source, mystic force. - Pink mystic ranger. - Green mystic ranger. - Yellow mystic ranger. - Blue mystic ranger. Red mystic ranger. Power Rangers mystic force. Whoa. Righteous. I think you're having an identity crisis. It doesn't matter who you are. This ends now. [shouts] [red] Gosei's right. Legendary mode's hard to maintain. Good thing super mega mode still rocks. [growls] [battle cries] [Gosei] Rangers. Use the keys to your saber locks and combine your attack. Got it, Gosei. Activate. [all] Activate. [all] Super mega saber. [all] Charging. Ugh. [all] Final strike. [grunts] Now, that's a super mega win. Yes. So a power ranger did this to my soldier? The humans can fight back? Yes. Apparently, yes. Well, I don't like that. Get me another commander. I'm here, sire. I can't wait to get my tentacles on 'em. Damaras already called up tentacuss, boss. And more xborgs stand ready. Good. Crush this resistance. Hard. [remote screaming] [laughs] I'll show the prince how easy it is to handle these humans. [laughs] I hope he likes the way I'm redecorating the place. [screaming] [super red] Hey, squidface. Huh? [grunting] Ah. The Power Rangers. I've been warned about you, but you look different. Huh. You should have heeded that warning. Ugh. So much for introductions. Get them. [battle cries] Let's switch. It will double your blasting power. Thanks. My super mega saber's all yours. Thanks. You gotta have the right tools for the job. Ugh. Yeah. Let's get that job done. I'm on it. [grunts] [grunting] whoa. [grunts] ha. think fast. Huh? Drop kick. Ugh. [grunts] Nice. [grunting] Super mega blaster. Huh? Got 'em. Heads up. [battle cry] [growls] So, you can beat up on my underlings, but you can't match a true armada warrior. Quick. Legendary ranger mode. Spd. [all] Ready. [all] Power Rangers spd. Take out his missiles, and then him. [grunting] I'm not that easy to take down. You can block my missiles, but you can't block me. [all] Legendary ranger mode. [all] Ninja storm, ready. [battle cry] Thunder staff. Ninja sword. [grunts] [screams] Ugh. Let's make him see red. [all] Legendary red ranger mode. [all] Ready. Whoa. We can all be red? Color me impressed. This mode's got some serious power. I'll say. Let's turn this guy black and blue. [all grunt] [growls] What? I'm seeing red. Red rangers, it's time to get fired up. [grunting] [groaning] [groaning] At least it took five teams to beat me. [argus] If these setbacks continue, The prince will lose his mind. Something must be done. Leave it to me. I've been working on something big. It's a waste to use it on this little planet. Consider this a test. [grunts] Maximizer. Watch. We no longer need zombats. And we can enlarge more than one monster at a time. [all] Huh? They're doing it without zombats. Now they can grow four at once? [alarm signal] That'll be Gosei. [Gosei] Rangers. You can see the aliens have new capabilities. But you have some too. Along with your new powers, come new zords and a special skyship. Summon them. Thanks. We're on it. Summon skyship. Wow. Sweet ride. [all] Whoo. Look. Those rangers won't quit. Skyship cannons. Port side. Fire. [grunting] - Everyone all right? - I'm fine. - Lovin' it. - I'm okay. - Yep. - Good. Release the zords. [yellow] Super mega wheeler. [pink] Super mega sub. [green] Super mega racer. [blue] Super mega jet. - Our turn. - Good idea. [green/blue] Fire. [yellow/pink] Fire. - Bull's-eye. - That's one down. Come back to the skyship. I think I figured out how to form the megazord. Zords combine. [all] Legendary megazord ready. [all] Full speed ahead. Evasive maneuvers. [laughs] You forgot to watch your back. He's trying to clog our gears. I'll open this tin can. They're in for a surprise. [grunts] What? Turn around. [all] Super mega final strike. [all] Super mega star burst. [all] Fire. [grunting] Yes. Super mega rangers, that's a super mega win. [Gia] Wow. It's back to normal. [Emma] Yeah. Oh look. [Emma] Everything looks great. How is everything? Oh, uh, almost back to normal. Now all we need is a teacher. Where's Mr. Burley? Yeah... Let me take care of that. Mr. Burley? Mr. Burley! Are you okay? I'm good. But my crypto-zoological prizes must be saved. Here. Let me help you with that. Phew. Thank you, Noah. How can I ever repay you? You can get out there and start teaching again. Your students need you. Hey. Mr. Burley. Around this time last year, I asked the question, which species will outlast all others? One particular student said that if humans work together, they can achieve anything. You all proved that to be true. I could not be more proud of each and every one of you. It's very clear that when faced with great adversity, the human spirit will always prevail. Take this. It will give you the edge you need. I'll bring it back. Where are you, Robo Knight? Previously on AMC's Hell on Wheels... Governor, my men are going back to work. I want your guarantee they'll be left alone. Sidney Snow, did you get him? It's a fire! It was him. It was Sidney Snow. - Ezra hasn't come back. - Under the floor. [screams] - You and me got unfinished business. - Drop that gun. ♪ There's a land that ♪ ♪ is fairer than day ♪ ♪ and by faith we can see it afar ♪ ♪ for the father waits over the way ♪ ♪ to prepare us a dwelling place there ♪ ♪ in the sweet by and by ♪ ♪ by and by ♪ ♪ we shall meet on ♪that beautiful shore ♪ ♪ in the sweet ♪ ♪ by and by we shall meet... ♪ Whoa, whoa. ♪ In the sweet by and by ♪ - [Woman screams] - Stay where you are! Ahh! What are you doing here? Daniel, help! I've done nothing wrong! Thomas, run! ♪ And our spirits shall sorrow ♪ Don't you hurt my kids! ♪ No more ♪ ♪ not a sigh ♪ ♪ for the blessing of rest ♪ [Grunting] Reverend Cole. Please. Time's come, Henry... For the sins of slavery to be washed away from this land. Purged by blood from your hands as foreordained by God himself. Lord. Have mercy. For as long as there are those in bonds, I am bound with them. Leave this place! You are free! No, they're... they're mine! I have broken no law. Law? I acknowledge no master in human form, nor should they. But if I be asked to forfeit my life in furtherance of justice for them, I will gladly mingle my blood with that which I spill... Tonight! No! Pa! - Let it be done! - No! ♪ In the sweet by and by ♪ ♪ we shall meet on that beautiful shore ♪ Ruth? What'd you do? Oh, she did plenty. [Groaning] Ugh. Will you tend to her? - Of course. - Take her. She shot a man. - You're the law. - I'll handle it. That's not good enough. Those church ladies sure can shoot. Shut up. I need help with this man. Let him die. Psalms? Delaney? Come on. Get him up. Ahh! Leave him. He don't deserve to live. Ugh! He dies, Ruth's a murderer. [Western folk music] ♪ ♪ Clear off that back table! Breakfast is over, folks. Easy, easy, easy. Ahh! I said easy! Ugh... What you need, Mr. Bohannon? We got Eva here. Get on back to work. Delaney? Need that steam shovel built. Psalms. Bullet went clear through. This one's still in him. Well, I know you ain't going fishing. You don't know shit. - Ahh! - He's bleeding out. We don't get that bullet out, he gonna die. I need some coffee grounds. Much as you got. He needs a doctor. Well, he's got us. Do you? - You lie to us. You lie. - Dad! Stop! What are you doing? ! - You go behind our backs. - Stop it! Why? ! Does this book tell you to do that? ! Phillip. Does it? ! You respect Jesus, but not us? ! Emergency signal from Fred. What happened last night... you didn't have a choice, Phillip. This is war. You think they would've done anything less to us? Reagan -- I don't need the speech. I know it's war. This is easier for you. You think it's easy for me, what I do? The FBI called me this morning. They want to meet with me tomorrow afternoon. Well, could this be a routine security check? No one goes to DC for a routine security check. Do you know if anyone else was called? Everyone who was at the meeting in Alexandria. I could postpone the meeting, find out what they asked the other folks before going in there. No. No. That would be suspicious. All right. I'll just go in, then. Look, you don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine. Paul... Emmett - - Emmett taught me how to handle this situation. - Yeah, he was one of the best. - Yes, he was -- I miss him, too. But we're working together now. And you need to trust me. You give me orders. I'll follow them. But you inherited me. You didn't... see something in me. Fred, the Americans are getting more ruthless by the day. And those propeller plans that you got for me, the plans you and Emmett worked to steal -- they were fake. Fake? 160 Soviet seamen died. Oh, God. They planted fake plans all over the country and then just waited for us to take one. I keep thinking about all the planning it took. And I wondered -- did they even care how many people die? This administration -- the stuff they get away with makes me sick. Yeah. Think about what they did when you go into that room tomorrow. Or whenever you feel the least bit intimidated, just think about all those... kids that died. Paige. Go away. Turn it off! Get up. Why? Because I said so. Clean the refrigerator. What? You woke me up to clean the refrigerator? Yes. And after that, mop the floors and fold the towels in the basement. I have school tomorrow. Why are you doing this? You want to be a grown-up? You want to spend money the way you want? Being a grown-up means doing things you don't want to do -- all the time. It means working when you are exhausted and almost never getting what you want when you want it. Your father and I never had a childhood. Nothing came easy for us -- ever. You're so lucky, Paige. Mop and bucket are in the basement. You know who I am? I do. Then we can forgo the pleasantries. This war has gotten very personal for me. And I need you to listen carefully, because it affects you, too. I'm listening. I'm in a lot of trouble because your Soviet Foreign Minister won't accept that Vlad Kosygin was the tragic victim of a mugging gone wrong. I could lose my job or even go to jail because of it. If either of those things happens, I'll make sure you go down with me. Uh, nothing. Thank you. Before he disappeared, Richard Patterson gave a very detailed testimony about his kidnapping and torture by two KGB illegals. The second my punishment is handed down, I'll release his classified testimony to the press. Now, think of what that will mean for you and your people at the Rezidentura -- all those deportations. Moscow will not be pleased when they have to rebuild their US operation from scratch. As we like to say in America, "Heads will roll" -- your head being at the top of the list. So... you see, my problem is now your problem. I heard so much about you, Mr. Gaad. I hoped that one day, we would have the chance to meet face-to-face. I just wish it was under less trying circumstances. Good day. Are you okay? Yeah. You are here because the KGB is targeting you, your family, everyone and anyone you care about. They won't get anything from me. They are masters at exploiting weakness. We all have weaknesses. We all do. And they will find yours. What do you need me to do? We're gonna go through your file and go over all the parts of your life that make you the most vulnerable to them -- financially, emotionally, sexually. No, no, no. I-I'm not at all comfortable with this. Well, it's not my first choice, either, but I'm going to need you to tell me things -- secrets that you might not have told anyone else. Because that is where their power lies -- in secrets. If they can keep you afraid and ashamed, then they can keep you silent. And if they can keep you silent, they can control you. Have you ever been engaged to be married? No. And how many close friends would you say you have? Few. Not many. Could you be more specific? Uh, two, I think. Um, you never really know enough about people, though. So, are you -- are you gonna say that because I'm a loner, I'm more vulnerable? Look, I'm not sure how they will approach you, but I am sure that they will. All right. But let me assure you, Agent Beeman -- I would never betray my country. No one ever imagines they will. Riggs and Dubrow -- What happened? Official story -- truck flipped in training. But nobody can know about that base, so who knows what really happened? Maybe some Contra went nuts. Today was a shitty day, with my shitty kids and my shitty husband. I love them. I do, but damn, they get on my nerves. I wanted to -- Everyone knows what I want to do -- what I want to do every second of every day. I don't even have to say it. But... then I remember the last drink that got me here 2 years, 1 month, 10 days ago. And I didn't, and... I'm just grateful, I guess to have this place. And that's all. Um, the surveillance reports that you requested -- Alexandria, Virginia, the week of January 23rd. There's a list of every person at the meeting and the names of all of their security personnel. Thank you, Martha. I included the local police reports from that area, as well, as the DOD meeting was on the same day as that horrible murder. There was a ton of extra police around, so maybe someone saw something useful to you. You mean that... couple and their -- and their daughter? That scared the hell out of me. I thought it was a Charles Manson thing, but I think they've ruled that out. You know what? Get me all the files and physical evidence connected to those murders also. Sure thing. You think they're related? I think I can't rule anything out. I thought we were through the hard times, you know? Mm-hmm. I'd been sick for about three months, uh, and he was just so amazing. He took such great care of me and the kids, and... this is gonna sound weird. Please. My life? No judgment. It-it's not that I wanted him to be sick or anything like that, but I... I wanted... the opportunity to show him that I could be there for him, you know? I haven't always been. I've been going on and on. You haven't. This is what... recovery is all about -- you know, opening up, being honest. Okay. So, tell me about you. Uh, recovering drunk. Wife, sister, mother. Two kids -- boy, 10, girl, 8. Uh... I don't know. Life gets pretty boring when you stop drinking. What kind of work do you do? Assembly line -- boring. Come on. I told you. Went on and on and on. Well, okay, okay. Uh, it is boring. Um, but it's super-high-security. 'Cause you mostly do government work. It's a company called Northrop. Hi. Hey, handsome. What are you doing here? I just, um... I wanted to see you. - I didn't want to go home. - Clark. Uh, yeah, I know, I know. This... This is my home. It is! Rough day? Y-yeah. Were you -- were you saving this? No, no. It's fine. But you don't usually drink, Clark. What's wrong? Martha, you know how much I love you, don't you? Of course. But with this job... I can't always be as... honest as I would like. Well, I know that. Thing is, you don't know. You don't know, so stop saying that you know. Okay. It's okay that you have moods, Clark. I'm not afraid of the different sides of you. I love all of you. The world is an ugly place, Martha. And it is full of brutish, cruel, nasty people. I heard something on the recording from Gaad's office. Is he in more trouble? He's probably gonna lose his pension -- maybe even go to jail. - You shouldn't feel sorry for him. - Well, how can I not? - Martha. - This is tearing him apart. Martha... Gaad is not your friend. Oh, come on, guys. Martha's ugly. I'd have to be 10 scotches deep before I touch her. Ew. 10 scotches and a bag over her head. Bastards. I know. I know. Do they always talk about me that way? Oh, my God. I shouldn't have played it. No, it's-it's better that I know... who they really are. Martha, I-I've never been any good at seduction or romance. But I love the way you look. I love every part of you. And if I could, I would go in there, and I would... I know you would, Clark. But I have a job. A very important job. And things are a lot worse than you know. What? Uh... have you ever heard of Stealth? No. It's a huge, complex military project. I don't understand it all, but there are a lot of leaks coming out -- we think -- of your office. We've found it very difficult to find a source. What do you need? I so appreciate that. I really do. - Let me help you, Clark. - No, it's dangerous. I'm not afraid. Do I love you? You know you're everything to me. And you to me. You are. Oh. What? Do you want me to use my mouth? - No. - What? What's wrong? I've - - I'm... I'm just too upset. And I've had too much to drink. I have to go. Well, Clark, you don't have to leave. Yes, I do. If you do engage in a lot of foreplay so that you are going to be very moist inside the vagina and if you are putting your behind on a pillow so that penetration is going to be a little bit easier, the more relaxed you are, the less it's going to be a problem. What you also can do is actually help him insert the penis into the vagina, because this way, you have some control over how fast you have to go... Mind if I turn it off? No. Go ahead. I'll tell you what -- if the two of you love each other -- You going somewhere? Uh, my mom's. Oh. Did you mention that? I-I don't remember. She's not feeling that well. Aw, no. I'm sorry. No, it's nothing serious. I just haven't seen her in a while, so... I thought that... My mom is not sick. She's not sick. Okay. Where you going? Away. With a man I met from EST. What do you mean, "Away"? Away. I don't know. Uh, for a few days. We've, um... had this emotional connection for some time, and we just want to see if there is something else there. You're telling me you're going to have an affair? Sandra? I might. I don't know. At least I'm being honest. Go ahead. Tell me that you're not having an affair. I'm -- You know what kills me about the whole thing? Is that you didn't have any idea anything was going on -- you, Mr. Counterintelligence Genius. You just didn't see it? So you either didn't want to know or you didn't care enough to pay attention. Who is he? Oh, it doesn't matter, really. - Who is he, Sandra? Who is he? - It doesn't matter who he is. What are you gonna do -- go arrest him? Sandra. Sandra. Are you leaving me? That would be easy for you, wouldn't it? You get to be the good guy, and your kooky wife leaves you for some guy she met at EST. No, I'm not gonna leave you, Stan, but I'm not gonna sit around and wait for you to get the courage to leave me. Mr. Jennings. Can I help you? As a matter of fact, Tim, yes, you can. Have a seat, please. I won't be staying long. What is it you want? I want you to stay away from my daughter. You want her to stop coming to church? That's right. That's between you and Paige. Well, I... I think you can help with that, and I think you will help with that. I can't turn Paige away from the church, Mr. Jennings. It's a sanctuary. I can't turn anyone away. That's the whole point of this place. Is something wrong? You took $600 from her. I thought you knew about that. We never would have accepted it if we thought you didn't approve. I-I'll write you a check right now if you want, but... that's not why you're here. No, it's not. Are you really gonna beat me up, Mr. Jennings? For $600? For your daughter? I would do anything for my daughter. I would do anything for my daughter. The best thing you can do for her is find a way to deal with your anger. I'm not here to be saved -- not by you, Tim... or your god. I see that you're in pain, Mr. Jennings. There is grace and forgiveness for you. For everyone. Do you believe that? I do. Previously on The Americans What is it that you do there at the church? We talk. They get them when they're children. They indoctrinate them with friendship and songs. I really like the people at work. I don't feel right about helping your office with them anymore. Not sure it's enough to get her back on Clark's side, so... this is how I fixed it. Oh, come on, guys. Martha's ugly. We can expose U.S. Forces secretly training contra commanders on American soil. It looks like the best way onto the camp is septic. Which truck do you drive? - Number nine. - Where are the keys? Inside the truck. We can tie him up and gag him. - What if he gets loose? - He won't. What if a hiker comes by and they call the police when we're in the camp? No one hikes around here. - Phillip. - No. Don't worry. Shining City. All right, Tom. Step out of the truck for me, please. Sure. Open up the back for me, please. Sure. Heel, bud. Jesus. That smell is worse than the shit it covers up. Have a good night. You too. Good boy. We're S.E.A.L.S. We're supposed to know how to use a firearm. If you had taught him how to load that thing, there wouldn't have been an accidental discharge. The guy nearly blew my foot off. It's like my 12-year-old sister handling a gun. No, my sister actually handles a gun better than these contras. We'd all be dead... Five minutes. Shooters, you're gonna get a magazine of 5 rounds and a magazine of 20 rounds. A magazine of 5 rounds and a magazine of 20 rounds. All ready on the firing line! All ready on the firing line! Shooters, make ready! Cease fire! Cease fire! Unload! It's all clear! Shooters, with a magazine of 20 rounds, as you were, and a magazine with 30 rounds! Shooters, you may commence fire when you see your target! Shooters, it is time. You're gonna stand. What are you doing here? Uh, just, uh, checking for drainage problems. Out here? Uh, you know what? It's okay, 'cause, uh, I'm with septic. He's got a ca-- Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Is somebody out there? Go. Go, go. Give me your jacket. - Go, go. - Come here, come here. Okay. Go. You are being read into the Have Blue program. This is a top-secret U.S. government project administered by the Department of Defense. You must have some pretty powerful friends to get us here on a Sunday. To get us here at all. We're not supposed to be talking about this to anyone. Not even our wives. They have people watching our wives. You know that? Making sure we haven't blabbed to them. Well, I'm the guy that's gonna make sure that you don't. Well, what do you know? Not enough. It sounds like science fiction, but you make planes invisible. Project Harvey. Which is...? Stealth. We can bring our planes and submarines right into Soviet territory without any detection. The KGB kidnapped this man, Anton Baklanov, and took him back to the Soviet Union. Was he the key to Stealth? We don't know that man. But he wasn't the key to it. No one person has the key to anything. Information is spread out through multiple departments and highly compartmented. Classic definition of the left hand not knowing the right. Soviets would have to kidnap a hell of a lot of people to put it all together. And get through a hell of a lot of security. The last meeting where all of the different groups actually met, each of us had two of our security guys watching our every move. What meeting was that? What meeting was that? He is probably being tortured right now. And once they realize he doesn't have everything they need, they will find out who does. You said that they would need to kidnap a hell of a lot of people to get to Stealth? Well, that's exactly what they'll do. They got him... circumvented dozens of FBI agents looking for him and sent him out of the country. You think two D.O.D. security guards can protect you or anybody else? Think again. Alexandria, Virginia -- two months ago. Who was there? Uh, reps from Lockheed and Northrop. They're competing against each other for the D.O.D. contract. Are we gonna start going to church every sunday now? Today's a special service. It's...teenage sunday. Youth Day. Youth Day. So we're not going every sunday, then? Oh! Dad! I learned a neat new trick. Here -- pick a card. Not today. Paige! Here -- pick a card. Any card. Okay. Put it in anywhere. Well, you can't do it so that I can't see it. Just a sec. - Here, just -- - They're upside down. No, they're not. I can see it. You're cheating. It's not cheating. It's called magic. That's enough, Henry. You know what? We're gonna be late. Yeah, let's go. In John 10:10, jesus tells us, "I came so that everyone would have life and have it in its fullest." So, since god planned for us to have peace and happiness in this life right now, why are so many of us hurting and angry inside? It's because we refuse to believe in god's unconditional love for us. God created us in his image for one reason only -- so that we could know him personally and have a joy-filled life. That's it. There's no catch. There's no hidden agenda. The lord sacrificed his only son for us, paying the penalty for our sins so that we might know true contentment. Sounds too good to be true, but it isn't. God's provided the way. We must make the choice. Excuse me. Paige! Hi, sweetheart. Wow. You look so beautiful. You must be Paige's parents. Such an honor to meet you. Your daughter has been such a blessing to us. She's a blessing to us, too. Paige says you work in travel. Yeah. Well, we take a mission trip every year. We should talk. Yeah, we -- yeah, we should. We'd love it if Paige could join us on one of our trips -- see all the good her generous donations are doing. We'll definitely talk about that. Martha. I was just about to ruin your sunday and call you in to help me. Well, Agent Gaad beat you to it. What do you need? There was a meeting between the D.O.D. and lockheed in Alexandria, Virginia on January 23rd. There are surveillance reports on everyone who was at that meeting. Anything relevant they have from that date, I want. Tell them it's for Stan Beeman, and I have code-word clearance for the project. I'll get right on it after I finish helping Agent Gaad pack. Thank you, Martha. Hey, what's going on? Getting ready to answer questions in front of the committee. They told me to expect the call next week... after I testify. I feel responsible, sir. You are responsible, Agent Beeman. So am I. How can they come here, kill my partner, whoever they want, and you wind up -- Well, it seems that when you and I kill someone, we leave evidence. They don't. They're better at it than we are. Patterson... kidnapped by the KGB right here in our capital city. We have his sworn testimony before he disappeared into thin air. $600? ! That was all you had! Who told you to do it? The pastor? His wife? - No one. - Stop protecting them. I'm not protecting anybody! - Why do you think I can't make my own decisions? - You know why? Because it's a stupid decision and you're not stupid, Paige. You were saving that money to go to Europe. Well, it's going to better use there. What use? Do you know what they're using that money for? They're feeding refugees, building houses. You guys don't help anyone! We help you. W-we help you, and we helped you save that money. Please do not roll your eyes at me. You can show me some respect. Paige, you started lying to us... I didn't lie. Well, you certainly don't seem to know the difference. Do you? - You lie to us. You lie. - Dad! Stop! - What are you doing? ! - You go behind our backs. - Stop it! - Why? ! Does this book tell you to do that? ! Philip. Does it? ! You respect Jesus, but not us? ! Emergency signal from Fred. What happened last night... You didn't have a choice, Philip. This is war. You think they would've done anything less to us? - Reagan -- - I don't need the speech. I know it's war. This is easier for you. You think it's easy for me, what I do? The FBI called me this morning. They want to meet with me tomorrow afternoon. Well, could this be a routine security check? No one goes to D.C. for a routine security check. Do you know if anyone else was called? Everyone who was at the meeting in Alexandria. I could postpone the meeting, find out what they asked the other folks before going in there. No. No. That would be suspicious. All right. I'll just go in, then. Look, you don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine. Paul... Emmett. Emmett taught me how to handle this situation. Yeah, he was -- he was one of the best. Yes, he was. I miss him, too. But we're working together now. And you need to trust me. You give me orders. I'll follow them. But you inherited me. You didn't... see something in me. Fred, the Americans are getting more ruthless by the day. And those propeller plans that you got for me, the plans you and Emmett worked to steal. They were fake. Fake? 160 Soviet seamen died. Oh, God. They planted fake plans all over the country and then just waited for us to take one. I keep thinking about all the planning it took. And I wondered -- did they even care how many people die? This administration -- the stuff they get away with makes me sick. Yeah. Think about what they did when you go into that room tomorrow. Or whenever you feel the least bit intimidated, just think about all those...kids that died. Paige. Go away. Turn it off! Get up. Why? Because I said so. Clean the refrigerator. What? You woke me up to clean the refrigerator? Yes. And after that, mop the floors and fold the towels in the basement. I have school tomorrow. Why are you doing this? You want to be a grown-up? You want to spend money the way you want? Being a grown-up means doing things you don't want to do -- all the time. It means working when you are exhausted and almost never getting what you want when you want it. Your father and I never had a childhood. Nothing came easy for us -- ever. You're so lucky, Paige. Mop and bucket are in the basement. You know who I am? I do. Then we can forgo the pleasantries. This war has gotten very personal for me. And I need you to listen carefully, because it affects you, too. I'm listening. I'm in a lot of trouble because your Soviet foreign minister won't accept that Vlad Kosygin was the tragic victim of a mugging gone wrong. I could lose my job or even go to jail because of it. If either of those things happens, I'll make sure you go down with me. Uh, nothing. Thank you. Before he disappeared, Richard Patterson gave a very detailed testimony about his kidnapping and torture by two KGB illegals. The second my punishment is handed down, I'll release his classified testimony to the press. Now, think of what that will mean for you and your people at the rezidentura -- all those deportations. Moscow will not be pleased when they have to rebuild their US Operation from scratch. As we like to say in America, "Heads will roll" -- your head being at the top of the list. So... you see, problem is now yoproblem. I heard so much about you, Mr. Gaad. I hoped that one day, we would have the chance to meet face-to-face. I just wish it was under less trying circumstances. Good day. Are you okay? Yeah. You are here because the KGB is targeting you, your family, everyone and anyone you care about. They won't get anything from me. They are masters at exploiting weakness. We all have weaknesses. We all do. And they will find yours. What do you need me to do? We're gonna go through your file and go over all the parts of your life that make you the most vulnerable to them -- financially, emotionally, sexually. No, no, no. I-I'm not at all comfortable with this. Well, it's not my first choice, either, but I'm going to need you to tell me things -- secrets that you might not have told anyone else. Because that is where their power lies -- in secrets. If they can keep you afraid and ashamed, then they can keep you silent. And if they can keep you silent, they can control you. Have you ever been engaged to be married? No. And how many close friends would you say you have? Few. Not many. Could you be more specific? Uh, two, I think. Um, you never really know enough about people, though. So, are you -- are you gonna say that because I'm a loner, I'm more vulnerable? Look, I'm not sure how they will approach you, but I am sure that they will. All right. But let me assure you, Agent Beeman -- I would never betray my country. No one ever imagines they will. Riggs and Dubrow - - What happened. Official story --- truck flipped in training. But nobody can know about that base, so who knows what really happened? Maybe some contra went nuts. Today was a shitty day, with my shitty kids and my shitty husband. I love them. I do. But damn, they get on my nerves. I wanted to -- everyone knows what I want to do -- what I want to do every second of every day. I don't even have to say it. But...then I remember the last drink that got me here 2 years, 1 month, 10 days ago. And I didn't, and... I'm just grateful, I guess... to have this place. And that's all. Um, the surveillance reports that you requested -- Alexandria, Virgina, the week of January 23rd. There's a list of every person at the meeting and the names of all of their security personnel. Thank you, Martha. I included the local police reports from that area, as well, as the DOD meeting was on the same day as that horrible murder. There was a ton of extra police around, so maybe someone saw something useful to you. You mean that...couple and their -- and their daughter? That scared the hell out of me. I thought it was a Charles Manson thing, but I think they've ruled that out. You know what? Get me all the files and physical evidence connected to those murders also. Sure thing. You think they're related? I think I can't rule anything out. I thought we were through the hard times, you know? I'd been sick for about three months, uh, and he was just so amazing. He took such great care of me and the kids, and...this is gonna sound weird. Please. My life? No judgment. I-it's not that I wanted him to be sick or anything like that, but I... I wanted... the opportunity to show him that I could be there for him, you know? I haven't always been. I've been going on and on. You haven't. This is what... recovery is all about -- you know, opening up, being honest. Okay. So, tell me about you. Uh, recovering drunk. Wife, sister, mother. Two kids -- boy, 10, girl, 8. Uh... I don't know. Life gets pretty boring when you stop drinking. What kind of work do you do? Assembly line -- boring. Come on. I told you. Went on and on and on. Well, okay, okay. Uh, it is boring. Um, but it's super-high-security. 'cause you mostly do government work. It's a company called Northrop. Hey, handsome. What are you doing here? I just, um... I wanted to see you. - I didn't want to go home. - Clark. Uh, yeah, I know, I know. This... This my home. It is! Rough day? Y-yeah. Were you -- were you saving this? No, no. It's fine. But you don't usually drink, Clark. What's wrong? Martha, you know how much I love you, don't you? Of course. But with this job... I can't always be as... honest as I would like. Well, I know that. Thing is, you don't know. You don't know, so stop saying that you know. Okay. It's okay that you have moods, Clark. I'm not afraid of the different sides of you. I love all of you. The world is an ugly place, Martha. And it is full of brutish, cruel, nasty people. I heard something on the recording from Gaad's office. Is he in more trouble? He's probably gonna lose his pension -- maybe even go to jail. - You shouldn't feel sorry for him. - Well, how can I not? - Martha. - This is tearing him apart. Martha... Gaad is not your friend. Oh, come on, guys. Martha's ugly. I'd have to be 10 scotches deep before I touch her. 10 scotches and a bag over her head. Bastards. I know. I know. Do they always talk about me that way? Oh, my God. I shouldn't have played it. No, I-it's better that I know... who they really are. Martha, I-I've never been any good... at seduction or romance. But I love the way you look. I love every part of you. And if I could, I would go in there, and I would... I know you would, Clark. But I have a job. A very important job. And things are a lot worse than you know. What? Have you ever heard of Stealth? No. It's a huge, complex military project. I don't understand it all, but there are a lot of leaks coming out -- we think -- of your office. We've found it very difficult to find a source. What do you need? I so appreciate that. I really do. - Let me help you, Clark. - No, it's dangerous. I'm not afraid. Do I love you? You know you're everything to me. And you to me. You are. What? Do you want me to use my mouth? - No. - What? What's wrong? I've - - I'm... I'm just too upset. And I've had too much to drink. I have to go. Well, Clark, you don't have to leave. Yes, I do. If you do engage in a lot of foreplay so that you are going to be very moist inside the vagina and if you are putting your behind on a pillow so that penetration is going to be a little bit easier, The more relaxed you are, the less it's going to be a problem. What you also can do is actually help him insert the penis into the vagina, because this way, you have some control over how fast you have to go... Mind if I turn it off? No. Go ahead. If the two of you love each other -- You going somewhere? Uh, my mom's. Did you mention that? I-I don't remember. She's not feeling that well. Aw, no. I'm sorry. No, it's nothing serious. I just haven't seen her in a while, So... I thought that... My mom is not sick. She's not sick. Okay. Where you going? Away. With a man I met from est. What do you mean, "Away"? Away. I don't know. Uh, for a few days. We've, um had this emotional connection for some time, and we just want to see if there is something else there. You're telling me you're going to have an affair? Sandra? I might. I don't know. At least I'm being honest. Go ahead. Tell me that you're not having an affair. I'm -- You know what kills me about the whole thing? Is that you didn't have any idea anything was going on -- you, Mr. Counterintelligence Genius. You just didn't see it? So you either didn't want to know or you didn't care enough to pay attention. Who is he? Oh, it doesn't matter, really. - Who is he, Sandra? Who is he? - It doesn't matter who he is. What are you gonna do -- go arrest him? Sandra. Sandra. Are you leaving me? That would be easy for you, wouldn't it? You get to be the good guy, and your kooky wife leaves you for some guy she met at est. No, I'm not gonna leave you, Stan, but I'm not gonna sit around and wait for you to get the courage to leave me. Mr. Jennings. Can I help you? As a matter of fact, Tim, yes, you can. Have a seat, please. I won't be staying long. What is it you want? I want you to stay away from my daughter. You want her to stop coming to church? That's right. That's between you and Paige. Well, I... I think you can help with that, and I think you will help with that. I can't turn Paige away from the church, Mr. Jennings. It's a sanctuary. I can't turn anyone away. That's the whole point of this place. Is something wrong? You took $600 from her. I thought you knew about that. We never would have accepted it if we thought you didn't approve. I-I'll write you a check right now if you want, but... that's not why you're here. No, it's not. Are you really gonna beat me up, Mr. Jennings? For $600? For your daughter? I would do anything for my daughter. I would do anything for my daughter. The best thing you can do for her is find a way to deal with your anger. I'm not here to be saved -- not by you, Tim... or your God. I see that you're in pain, Mr. Jennings. There is grace and forgiveness for you. For everyone. Do you believe that? I do. Previously on The Americans. What is it that you do there at the church? We talk. They get them when they're children. They indoctrinate them with friendship and songs. I really like the people at work. I don't feel right about helping your office with them anymore. Not sure it's enough to get her back on Clark's side, so... this is how I fixed it. [Gaad] Oh, come on, guys. Martha's ugly. [Men Laughing] We can expose U.S. Forces... secretly training contra commanders on American soil. [Elizabeth] It looks like the best way onto the camp is septic. - Which truck do you drive? - Number nine. - Where are the keys? - Inside the truck. We can tie him up and gag him. - What if he gets loose? - He won't. What if a hiker comes by... and they call the police when we're in the camp? No one hikes around here. - Philip. - Come on. Come on, buddy. [Engine Off] Shining City. All right, Tom. Step out of the truck for me, please. Sure. - Open up the back for me, please. - Sure. All right. Heel, bud. [Dog Whines] [Dog Sniffing] Jesus. That smell is worse than the shit it covers up. Yeah. - Have a good night. - You too. Come on, buddy. [Shouting In Spanish] Keep an eye in front and behind you. - [Speaking Spanish] - Whoa! Whoa! Off the road! Take a knee! - [Spanish Continues] - Keep your weapons facedown. [Gunfire In Distance] We're SEALs. We're supposed to know how to use a firearm. If you had taught him how to load that thing... there wouldn't have been an accidental discharge. The guy nearly blew my foot off. It's like my 12-year-old sister handling a gun. No, my sister actually handles a gun better than these contras. We'd all be dead. Five minutes. [Man] Shooters, you're gonna get a magazine of five rounds and a magazine of 20 rounds. - A magazine of five rounds and a magazine of 20 rounds. - [Man Translating Into Spanish] [Man] All ready on the firing line! All ready on the firing line! - [Spanish Continues] - Shooters, make ready! [Gunfire] [Gunfire Continues] - [Man] Cease fire! Cease fire! - [Man Translating Into Spanish] Unload! Show clear! Shooters, with a magazine of 20 rounds, as you were! - And a magazine with 30 rounds! - [Man Translating Into Spanish] Shooters, you may commence fire when you see your target! [Man Translating Into Spanish] [Speaking Spanish] [Man] Shooters, it is time. You're gonna stand. [Man Translating Into Spanish] What are you doing here? Uh, just, uh, checking for drainage problems. - Out here? - Oh, you know what? It's okay, 'cause, uh, I'm with septic. Hey, hey! He's got a ca... [Muffled Screaming] Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Shh. [Muffled Screaming] [Man] Is somebody out there? [Silenced Gunshots] [Gunfire Continues In Distance] Go. Go, go. Give me your jacket. - Go. - Come here. Come here. Okay. Go. [Engine Starts] [Radio Chatter] [Engine Off] [Man] You are being read into the Have Blue program. This is a top-secret U.S. Government project... administered by the Department of Defense. You must have some pretty powerful friends to get us here on a Sunday. To get us here at all. We're not supposed to be talking about this to anyone. Not even our wives. They have people watching our wives. You know that? Making sure we haven't blabbed to them. Well, I'm the guy that's gonna make sure that you don't. Well, what do you know? Not enough. It sounds like science fiction, but you make planes invisible. Project Harvey. - Which is? - Stealth. We can bring our planes and submarines right into Soviet territory... without any detection. The K.G.B. Kidnapped this man... Anton Baklanov... and took him back to the Soviet Union. Was he the key to Stealth? - We don't know that man. - But he wasn't the key to it. No one person has the key to anything. Information is spread out through multiple departments and highly compartmented. Classic definition of the left hand not knowing the right. Soviets would have to kidnap a hell of a lot of people to put it all together. And get through a hell of a lot of security. The last meeting where all of the different groups actually met... each of us had two of our security guys watching our every move. What meeting was that? What meeting was that? He is probably being tortured right now. And once they realize he doesn't have everything they need... they will find out who does. You said that they would need to kidnap a hell of a lot of people to get to Stealth? Well, that's exactly what they'll do. They got to him. Circumvented dozens of F.B. I. Agents looking for him... and sent him out of the country. You think two D.O.D. Security guards can protect you... or anybody else? Think again. Alexandria, Virginia, two months ago. Who was there? Uh, reps from Lockheed and Northrop. They're competing against each other for the D.O.D. Contract. [Sighs] [Henry] Are we gonna start going to church every Sunday now? Today's a special service. It's... Teenage Sunday. - Youth Day. - Youth Day. So we're not going every Sunday then? Oh! Dad! I learned a neat new trick. Here. Pick a card. Not today. Paige! Here. Pick a card. Any card. Okay. Put it in anywhere. - [Sighs] - [Paige] Well, you can't do it so that I can't see it. [Henry] Just a sec. Here, just... - [Paige] They're upside down. - No, they're not. - I can see it. You're cheating. - It's not cheating. It's magic. That's enough, Henry. You know what? We're gonna be late. Yeah, let's go. [Man] In John 10:10, Jesus tells us... "I came so that everyone would have life and have it in its fullest." So, since God planned for us to have peace and happiness in this life right now... why are so many of us... hurting and angry inside? It's because we refuse to believe in God's unconditional love for us. God created us in his image for one reason only... so that we could know him personally and have a joy-filled life. That's it. There's no catch. There's no hidden agenda. The Lord sacrificed His only Son for us... paying the penalty for our sins so that we might know true contentment. It sounds too good to be true, but it isn't. God's provided the way. We must make the choice. [Chattering] Oh. Excuse me. Paige! Hi, sweetheart. Wow. You look so beautiful. You must be Paige's parents. Such an honor to meet you. Your daughter has been such a blessing to us. She's a blessing to us too. - Paige says you work in travel. - Yeah. Well, we take a mission trip every year. We should talk. - Mmm. - Yeah, we... Yeah, we should. We'd love it if Paige could join us on one of our trips... see all the good her generous donations are doing. We'll definitely talk about that. Martha. I was just about to ruin your Sunday and call you in to help me. Well, Agent Gaad beat you to it. What do you need? There was a meeting between the D.O.D. And Lockheed... in Alexandria, Virginia, on January 23. There are surveillance reports on everyone who was at that meeting. Anything relevant they have from that date I want. Tell them it's for Stan Beeman... and I have code-word clearance for the project. I'll get right on it after I finish helping Agent Gaad pack. [Gaad] Thank you, Martha. Hey, what's going on? Getting ready to answer questions in front of the committee. They told me to expect a call next week... after I testify. I feel responsible, sir. You are responsible, Agent Beeman. So am I. How can they come here, kill my partner, whoever they want... and you wind up... Well, it seems that when you and I kill someone, we leave evidence. They don't. They're better at it than we are. Patterson... kidnapped by the K.G.B. Right here in our capital city. We have his sworn testimony... before he disappeared into thin air. $600? That was all you had! Who told you to do it? The pastor? His wife? - No one. - Stop protecting them. I'm not protecting anybody! Why do you think I can't make my own decisions? You know why? Because it's a stupid decision and you're not stupid, Paige. - You were saving that money to go to Europe. - It's going to better use there. What use? Do you know what they're using that money for? They're feeding refugees, building houses. You guys don't help anyone! We help you. W-We help you, and we helped you save that money. Please do not roll your eyes at me. You can show me some respect. - Paige, you started lying to us. - I didn't lie. - Well, you certainly don't seem to know the difference. - Do you? - Lie... Lying... - Stop! What are you doing? You go behind our backs. Why? Does this book tell you to do that? - Philip. - Does it? You respect Jesus, but not us? [Door Opens] [Door Closes] Emergency signal from Fred. What happened last night... You didn't have a choice, Philip. This is war. You think they would've done anything less to us? Reagan... I don't need the speech. I know it's war. This is easier for you. You think it's easy for me, what I do? The F.B. I. Called me this morning. They want to meet with me tomorrow afternoon. Well, could this be a routine security check? No one goes to D.C. For a routine security check. Do you know if anyone else was called? Everyone who was at the meeting in Alexandria. I could postpone the meeting... find out what they asked the other folks before going in there. No. No. That would be suspicious. All right. I'll just go in then. Look, you don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine. Paul... Emmett... Emmett taught me how to handle this situation. Yeah, he was... he was one of the best. Yes, he was. I miss him too. But we're working together now, and you need to trust me. You give me orders. I'll follow them. But you inherited me. You didn't... see something in me. Fred, the Americans are getting more ruthless by the day. And those propeller plans that you got for me... the plans you and Emmett worked to steal... They were fake. F-Fake? 160 Soviet seamen died. [Sighs] Oh, God. They planted fake plans all over the country and then just waited for us to take one. I keep thinking about all the planning it took. And I wondered, do they even care how many people die? This administration... The stuff they get away with, it makes me sick. Yeah. Think about what they did when you go into that room tomorrow. Or whenever you feel the least bit intimidated. Just think about all those... kids that died. [Knocking] [Elizabeth] Paige. Go away. Turn it off! Get up. Why? Because I said so. Clean the refrigerator. What? You woke me up to clean the refrigerator? Yes. And after that, mop the floors and fold the towels in the basement. I have school tomorrow. Why are you doing this? You want to be a grown-up? You want to spend money the way you want? Being a grown-up means doing things you don't want to do all the time. It means working when you are exhausted... and almost never getting what you want when you want it. Your father and I never had a childhood. Nothing came easy for us. Ever. You are so lucky, Paige. Mop and bucket are in the basement. You know who I am? I do. Then we can forgo the pleasantries. This war has gotten very personal for me. And I need you to listen carefully, because it affects you too. I'm listening. I'm in a lot of trouble... because your Soviet foreign minister won't accept... that Vlad Kosygin was the tragic victim of a mugging gone wrong. I could lose my job... or even go to jail because of it. If either of those things happens... I'll make sure you go down with me. Uh, nothing. Thank you. Before he disappeared... Richard Patterson gave a very detailed testimony... about his kidnapping and torture by two K.G.B. Illegals. The second my punishment is handed down... I'll release his classified testimony to the press. Now, think of what that will mean... for you and your people at the Rezidentura... all those deportations. Moscow will not be pleased... when they have to rebuild their U.S. Operation from scratch. As we like to say in America... heads will roll... your head being at the top of the list. So... you see, my problem... is now your problem. I heard so much about you, Mr. Gaad. I hoped that one day we would have the chance to meet face-to-face. I just wish... it was under less trying circumstances. Good day. Are you okay? Yeah. You are here because the K.G.B. Is targeting you, your family... everyone and anyone you care about. They won't get anything from me. They are masters at exploiting weakness. We all have weaknesses. We all do. And they will find yours. What do you need me to do? We're gonna go through your file... and go over all the parts of your life... that make you the most vulnerable to them... financially, emotionally, sexually. No, no, no. I-I'm not at all comfortable with this. Well, it's not my first choice either, but... I'm going to need you to tell me things... secrets that you might not have told anyone else. Because that is where their power lies... in secrets. If they can keep you afraid and ashamed... then they can keep you silent. And if they can keep you silent... they can control you. - Have you ever been engaged to be married? - No. - And how many close friends would you say you have? - A few. Not many. Could you be more specific? Uh, two, I think. Um, you never really know enough about people though. So, are you gonna say that because I'm a loner, I'm more vulnerable? Look, I'm not sure how they will approach you... but I am sure that they will. All right. But let me assure you, Agent Beeman... I would never betray my country. No one ever imagines they will. [Larrick] Riggs and Dubrow... What happened? Official story? Truck flipped in training. But nobody can know about that base, so who knows what really happened? Maybe some contra went nuts. [Men Speaking Spanish] [Woman] Today was a shitty day... with my shitty kids and my shitty husband. I love them. I do. But, damn, they get on my nerves. [Group Laughs] I wanted to... Everyone knows what I want to do. What I want to do every second of every day. I don't even have to say it. But then I remember the last drink that got me here... two years, one month, 10 days ago. And I didn't, and... I'm just grateful, I guess... to have this place. And that's all. [Phone Ringing] Um, the surveillance reports that you requested. Alexandria, Virginia, the week of January 23. There's a list of every person at the meeting... and the names of all of their security personnel. Thank you, Martha. I included the local police reports from that area as well... as the D.O.D. Meeting was on the same day as that horrible murder. There was a ton of extra police around... so maybe someone saw something useful to you. You mean that couple and their... and their daughter? That scared the hell out of me. I thought it was a Charles Manson thing... but I think they've ruled that out. You know what? Get me all the files and physical evidence connected to those murders also. Sure thing. You think they're related? I think I can't rule anything out. ##[Speakers. Woman Singing Pop Ballad] I thought we were through the hard times. You know? Mm-hmm. I'd been sick for about three months... uh, and he was just so amazing. He took such great care of me and the kids, and... - This is gonna sound weird. [Chuckles] - Please. My life? No judgment. L-lt's not that I wanted him to be sick or anything like that... but I... I wanted... the opportunity... to show him that I could be there for him. You know? I haven't always been. I've been going on and on. You haven't. This is what recovery is all about. You know, opening up, being honest. Okay. So, tell me about you. [Chuckles] Uh, recovering drunk. Wife, sister, mother. Two kids... boy, 10, girl, 8. Uh... I don't know. Life gets pretty boring when you stop drinking. What kind of work do you do? [Sighs] Assembly line. Boring. - Come on. I told you. - [Laughs] - Went on and on and on. - Okay, okay. Uh, it is boring. Um, but it's super-high security. 'Cause we mostly do government work. It's a company called Northrop. - Hi. - Hey, handsome. What are you doing here? I just, um... I wanted to see you. I didn't want to go home. - Clark. - Yeah, I know, I know. This is my home. [Sighs] It is! Rough day? Y-Yeah. Were you... Were you saving this? No, no. It's fine. But you don't usually drink, Clark. What's wrong? Martha, you know how much I love you, don't you? Of course. But with this job... I can't always be as... honest as I would like. Well, I know that. The thing is, you don't know. You don't know. So stop saying that you know. - Okay. - [Knuckles Cracking] It's okay that you have moods, Clark. I'm not afraid of the different sides of you. I love all of you. The world is an ugly place, Martha. And it is full of brutish... cruel, nasty people. [Sighs] I heard something on the recording from Gaad's office. Is he in more trouble? He's probably gonna lose his pension. Maybe even go to jail. - You shouldn't feel sorry for him. - Well, how can I not? - Martha... - This is tearing him apart. Martha. - Gaad is not your friend. - [Click] [Gaad] Oh, come on, guys. Martha's ugly. [Men Laughing] I'd have to be 10 scotches deep before I touch her. [Agent] Eew. 10 scotches and a bag over her head. [Click] Bastards. I know. I know. [Crying] [Sighs] Do they always talk about me that way? Oh, my God. I shouldn't have played it. [Gasps] No, i-it's better that I know... who they really are. Martha, I-I've never... been any good at seduction or romance. But I love the way you look. I love every part of you. And if I could, I would go in there, and I would... [Sniffles] I know you would, Clark. But I have a job. - A very important job. - [Sighs] And things are a lot worse than you know. What? Uh... have you ever heard of Stealth? No. It's a huge, complex military project. I don't understand it all... but there are a lot of leaks coming out... we think... of your office. We've found it very difficult to find a source. What do you need? I so appreciate that. I really do. - Let me help you, Clark. - No, it's dangerous. I'm not afraid. Do I love you? You know you're everything to me. And you to me. [Sniffles] You are. What? Do you want me to use my mouth? - No. - What? What's wrong? L... I'm... I'm just too upset. And I've had too much to drink. - I have to go. - Well, Clark, you don't have to leave. Yes, I do. [Door Opens, Closes] [Woman] If you do engage in a lot of foreplay... so that you are going to be very moist inside the vagina... and if you are putting your behind on a pillow... so that penetration is going to be a little bit easier... the more relaxed you are, the less it's going to be a problem. What you also can do is actually help him insert the penis into the vagina... because this way you have some control over how fast... Mind if I turn it off? No. Go ahead. And I'll tell you what... If the two of you love each other... - You going somewhere? - Uh, my mom's. Oh. Did you mention that? I-I don't remember. - She's not feeling that well. - Oh, no. I'm sorry. No, it's nothing serious. I just haven't seen her in a while, so I thought that... [Sighs] My mom is not sick. She's not sick. Okay. Where you going? Away. With a man I met from est. What do you mean, "away"? Away. I don't know. For a few days. We've, um... [Sighs] Had this emotional connection for some time... and we just want to see if there is something else there. You're telling me you're going to have an affair? - Sandra? - I might. I don't know. At least I'm being honest. Go ahead. Tell me that you're not having an affair. I'm... You know what kills me about the whole thing? Is that you didn't have any idea anything was going on. You, Mr. Counterintelligence Genius. You just didn't see it? So you either didn't want to know or... you didn't care enough to pay attention. Who is he? - It doesn't matter. - Who is he? It doesn't matter who he is. What are you gonna do? Go arrest him? [Laughs] Sandra. Sandra. Are you leaving me? That would be easy for you, wouldn't it? You get to be the good guy, and your kooky wife leaves you for some guy she met at est. [Sighs] No, I'm not gonna leave you, Stan. But I'm not gonna sit around and wait for you to get the courage to leave me. Mr. Jennings. Can I help you? As a matter of fact, Tim, yes, you can. - Have a seat, please. - I won't be staying long. What is it you want? I want you to stay away from my daughter. You want her to stop coming to church? That's right. That's between you and Paige. Well, I... I think you can help with that... and I think you will help with that. I can't turn Paige away from the church, Mr. Jennings. It's a sanctuary. I can't turn anyone away. [Chuckling] That's the whole point of this place. Is something wrong? You took $600 from her. I thought you knew about that. We never would have accepted it if we thought you didn't approve. I-I'll write you a check right now if you want. But... that's not why you're here. No, it's not. Are you really gonna beat me up, Mr. Jennings? For $600? For your daughter? I would do anything for my daughter. I would do anything for my daughter. The best thing you can do for her is find a way to deal with your anger. I'm not here to be saved... not by you, Tim... or your God. I see that you're in pain, Mr. Jennings. There is grace and forgiveness for you. For everyone. Do you believe that? [Sighs] I do. [Beeping] Wow! Chocolate bon-bons from L'atelier de Bonheur. To be honest, I've never had one of these before. You can't find Bonheur chocolates in Japan. My friend who went to Paris for vacation brought these back. These are for you. How is it? It's very smooth. It's not too sweet, it has just the right amount of bitterness. With its rich chocolate aroma and wonderful texture, the overall impression it gives is amazing. Yeah. - It's a tender taste, right? It gently unravels your heart. To be able to eat Bonheur chocolates in Treluyer's shop is such a luxury. But this means we've brought in food from outside, right? Ah, I'm sorry. But I, love Bonheur's chocolates the most in the whole world. Geez, I'm totally jealous of French people who can eat this every day. Mmmm! I want to make chocolates like this one day. If it's the chocolates that Saeko-san loves the most, then all the more. The confectionery school's graduation exam is today, right? Yeah. Well, since my family has a cake shop... I think I'll be fine. Rather, I can finally show my performance. Performance? Eh? What? - Ah, nothing. Ah, hey. Can we meet on the 14th? Valentine's day. I'm a bit busy on the 14th... Ah, I'm sorry. Well, that's right. A guy shouldn't be asking you out on that day, right? Sorry. Then, the 13th? - That's fine. Ah, thank goodness. Then, the 13th. - Yeah. Then, on the 13th. Yeah. - Yeah. I'll text you later, okay? Bye bye. - Yeah, bye... I feel like I've been casually rejected... Oh, that's right. The place was bad. But rather, Saeko-san, lately carries a faint smell of cigarette smoke... Well, it's fine anyway. I began dating Saeko-san one week before last Christmas. And, our first kiss was on Christmas Eve. That was the only time we kissed, after that things have been in a unclear state of deadlock. We met on the spring of my 15th year, Ah! - Ow, that hurt. I'm sorry, are you okay? Ah, cute. - Are you okay? The me that just started high school, fell in love with Saeko-san, who was one year my senior, at first sight. The girl who went out with the good looking guys of every year one after the other. Hearing such a rumor, I got all excited thinking that next would be me from the first year, but, Saeko-san, didn't even consider me as a partner. I don't know if our first year was a bad crop, but, before I realized, Saeko-san had began going out with good looking guys from other schools. She was someone I couldn't reach. That hairstyle is super awesome. - Really? That's why, in order to get closer to Saeko-san, I began trying to butter up her boyfriends. Can you go buy yakisoba bread and melon bread? With pleasure. I'm Koyurugi Souta from year 1, class 1. In the end, I would be made into a gofer, I would join the crafts club as the only guy, even though I have no interest in it, just because Saeko-san is there. I'm done. Wow, amazing! - Thank you. I'm Koyurugi Souta from year 2 class 2. Anyway, I kept hanging around Saeko-san. Then one day... Congratulations on your graduation. It's beautiful. Thank you, Kojima-kun. I even managed to get a kiss. Next is, at last, Valentine's day. Lately we're not selling well. Dad, I'm going to be using the kitchen. - That's the working place of a pro! If you're doing things for your hobby, go do it in the kitchen at home. Since we don't have any customers, it should be fine, right? Ah, Souta-kun. Are you making chocolate again? Should I help? - Thanks, Kaoruko-san. But I'm making this for my girlfriend, I have to do it on my own. - Well, I guess. An adult man making chocolate for a woman. After asking to go to a confectionary school, then making things that won't even be for sale, it's hard to bear as a parent. Then we should put them up for sale. - Eh? Souta-kun's chocolates. The prototypes from the other day were high quality, with a delicate impression. I think it's on a higher level than the chocolatiers around here. Really? Thanks. That's thanks to my DNA. DNA? DNA, he says. Alright. But, well, there really aren't many guys who make chocolates for their girlfriends. She must be really pretty? Who does she look like? She doesn't really look like anyone. Hmm... What kind of person is she? - Hmmm. Like a fairy? - Fairy? Ah, no, well. Calling her a fairy is a bit of an exaggeration, but, like she's out of reach? After meeting her, I thought nothing else would do for me. Many things happened before reaching this point. Hmm.. But, you know. Confessing one week before Christmas, and instantly "Ok". That girl broke up with her boyfriend right before that, right? Well, yes. Since she became alone just before the event, it feels like she just went along with it for the time being. Are you fine with that? If you put it like that, I have my selfish calculations too. I told her then because I knew about her situation. I see. I know about it all. But it's okay. Anyway, because Saeko-san is my girlfriend now. You've become really good at tempering. You don't even need a thermometer. - I can just tell by how the texture feels. Its heaviness changes according to its temperature, right? Alright, right now its 28 degrees. Ever since I was a kid, I vaguely thought I would probably continue with the family cake shop, it wasn't something I took seriously. I found how I wanted to shape my life after meeting Saeko-san. Saeko-san loves chocolate more than anything else. That's why I will make chocolate that can make Saeko-san happy. Saeko-san. I know everything that Saeko-san likes. High cocoa chocolate. Strawberries. Caramel ganache. Orange peel. Rum soaked raisins. Light green pistachios. Bright red kirsch soaked cherries. Ah. Does this silence mean that she's touched? No, it was a miss? Souta-kun. - Yes. I'm sorry. I can't accept this. - Eh? Because this is totally serious chocolate. Eh? Ah. Did you think I'm a really serious guy? A guy making chocolate is really weird, right? But, you know, my family is a cake shop, so making this sort of thing is no big deal. So, see, there's no deep meaning to this or anything. There's someone I'm going out with. Huh? - After Christmas, I got back together with my ex-boyfriend. Since he likes to travel around, I'd been neglected, I thought it would be fine when Souta-kun confessed. Souta-kun is a good person, and kind too, and we get along well, and it's fun to spend time together. That's why... I was being two-timed, huh. Two-timed? - Eh? Why does that sound like a question? Well, it's a regular two-timing, right? You were continuing with your boyfriend, and also going out with me. Going out... Eh? ! Umm, Saeko-san. Saeko-san and I were going out, right? I asked you to go out with me and you said okay. Eh? Ah... Yeah. - These two months. It's just been two months, but. Well, look, we even kissed, right? Ah, but, we didn't have sex. Oh, I see. If you don't have sex, it's not called going out. So it's not two-timing either. ...What? ! Is that how it is? Is that how society works? Saeko-san is correct, and I'm wrong? I don't know what's what anymore. Wait. Let me collect my thoughts. Ah, I don't really want to do it, but. The one who brought back the Bonheur chocolates, was this boyfriend. The guy you're spending tomorrow's Valentine's Day with is him. That guy smokes, right? What, so you had noticed. If that was the case, you should have said something earlier. This girl. This girl is... It's okay! It's fine to go on like this! What? Two-timing is fine. If that boyfriend takes off for some place again, I'll help Saeko-san pass the time. It's fine like that. What's wrong with it? - What? I'm totally fine with it. Or rather, I don't mind it much. If I can be with Saeko-san, and one day, be loved properly, then I'm fine with that. It's fine even if that's far out in the future. So, okay? I'm sorry. Saeko-san, wait. If you feel even a little sorry for me, at least accept this. But... - It's fine if you throw it out somewhere nearby. It's pretty harsh to personally throw out something you made for someone. So, if Saeko-san could do it, I would be a little saved. Akamiso is excited to present... Shitsuren Chocolatier 1 Until when are you going to be like this? We're not rich enough to take care of a shut-in! Since you graduated already, start helping out with the store already! Yeah. Souta-kun. I love Bonheur's chocolates the most in the whole world. Oh, onii-chan woke up. (T/N: onii-chan means older brother) What, at this hour? - I'm going to Paris for a bit. See you~! Paris? He said Paris, right? He said Paris. - He did. Bonjour. I come from Japan. I would like to work in L'atelier de Bonheur. As expected, was it too suspicious? Eh? - Hi. Eh? - You came from Japan? I'm begging you! I want to work here! Huh? What are you saying? That's impossible. I admit that it's unreasonable, but - after coming all the way here, I can't just go back. Ah, if you want, I can talk directly to the mana- Wait! This is weekly shounen monday, special extra-large spring edition! Eh? - Ah! Talk to the manager. - Eh? Say I'm your friend or something, anyway, do some negotiation. If you do, I'll give you this. Also. - What else? Is that guy new? Ah, he's a recently joined apprentice. I don't think the tempering is going well. No one seems to be checking it, I think it should be redone. - You can tell by looking from here? I can tell. Ah, he's here. Eh? Wrapped up in the fragrance of chocolate, without good or bad feelings, she pops in my head. A chocolate that all the passion is poured into, like an extension of my own being, I want her to hold it in her mouth. I want it to pour into her body. These kinds of dirty aspirations, brought me all the way here. Saeko-san. I will definitely become a chocolatier. No matter how many years it takes. I will become a chocolatier that everybody acknowledges. I will become famous enough to stay in your mind, to make you think "I shouldn't have abandoned him back then". I will make you regret it. And then, after stealthily eating my chocolate, you will say "C'est bon". That's my dream. Even if that voice, never reaches my ears. A Japanese that is active overseas. Today, we're in the popular chocolate shop in Paris, L'atelier de Bonheur. Ah, it's Bonheur. Geez, I want to go to Paris. I want to eat Bonheur chocolates. No matter where you get them, chocolates won't be much different, right? What are you saying, onee-chan? It's totally different. (T/N: onee-chan means older sister) Bonheur is special. And in this place that's called the world's best chocolate shop, there is a Japanese employee. Hee... - It's been six years since he came alone to Paris. Built up his expertise, the young chocolatier Koyurugi Souta. Making chocolates in Bonheur was my dream. - No way. But next week, I will be returning to Japan, and opening my own shop. Chocolates that won't lose to the taste of Bonheur, I want to let the Japanese people enjoy them. Then, I'll be taking it. - Yes. Wow, it's as pretty as a picture. As expected of the prince of chocolate. Not at all. Ever since I came back to Japan, there's been nothing but good things. Dad accepted the renovation of the shop without any complaints, thanks to Bonheur's reputation, for good or bad, right after I landed in japan, I even got the label of prince of chocolate. Take care. Ah... Excuse me. Souta-kun. See. Is this enough? - Plenty. And a donut or some churros. Keep them lucid. - And for you? - Another beer. I'd better not mix anymore. Well, okay. Give me both. - What time is it? - Late. Get up. They gave us a car while they fix ours. FAIR WAGES I heard last night the girls wanted to leave town. - People talk a lot when they drink. - And go where? Anywhere. Their father wasn't very happy with them. Rocio. Give these gentlemen some wine. Say when. When. - For you? - No, thank you. Smells good. What is it? - River crabs. - Spicy? - So what now? - Which is their bedroom? May I? WELCOME TO THE LABOR MARKET Any idea where they may have gone? Did you argue about anything? Notice anything missing? A bankbook, for their savings account. And clothing. Do you know why your daughters wanted to leave? My daughters didn't want to go anywhere. Did anyone want to hurt them? - Any money, anything valuable? - Do you know why you're here? - To find your daughters. - No one gives a shit about them. You're here because her cousin served with Judge Andrade. So skip the song and dance and just find them. - Lunch. - I'm coming. I found it in the brazier. Please don't tell my husband. If he finds out he'll kill them. They've already brought him enough shame. - Were they with anyone? - They were alone. - Did you talk to them? - They were far away. - We were with them after that. - Where? At the bumper cars for a while, then we went home. - What time was it? - Midnight. - I know because we had to go. - Where did you leave them? On the road. At the edge of town. - Did they have boyfriends? - No. Is it true they wanted to leave town? - Who doesn't? - I don't. - You're lame. - And you're jealous. Okay. - Did they ever say where? - Anywhere is better than this. - Any friends with a white car, a Citroën? - No. It's Quini. - What? - Her boyfriend is outside. Can we go now? You can leave. - Your son? - The youngest. He's in Germany. He's been working there for two years. I have two more in Barcelona... - ...and my daughter's in France. - Can you tell me what you saw? On the bend. That's where it stopped. - Did you see how many people were in the car? - No. - Were they forced into the car? - I think they knew each other. - Because they were laughing. - I drew a sketch for you. This one is a 2CV, with round headlights on the hood. And the Dyane 6 has them built in. It was more like this one. The Dyane 6. - Who are they? - Pickers. Here for the harvest. He's from the town. They know him. Could be a picker who comes every year. Or someone who works at the fair. The father has a Dyane 6. Yellow. It was parked outside the house. Yellow looks like white at night. - And gray. It's a common car. - Excuse me. Someone wants to talk to you. Angelita is psychic, she sees stuff. She talks to the dead in her sleep. She asks them what she wants to know and the dead tell her. Have a seat. I've been talking to my dead mother the last two nights. And she said... she saw the girls at the abandoned farmhouse. - Something wrong? - Nothing. LONG LIVE FRANCO VICTORY WAS OURS AND ALWAYS WILL BE Pedro! Over here! What's up? I'll get the car. I'll see if I can reach it. I'm almost touching the water. Careful! Are you okay? I got it, pull me up! Estrella was wearing hose like those. Freeze! Stop! Why are you running? - I don't have a permit. - What is that? - A baby deer? - Roebuck. - Where are you from? - The town. Get up. - What's your name? - Jesus. You and I met the other night at the fair, remember? My head still hurts from the gin. - How did you get here? - I walked. - It's along walk. - Not if you know the trails. See anyone go in or out of the farmhouse? I don't like that place. Nothing but ghosts around. Can I go? - How much do you get for Bambi? - 250 pesetas a kilo. Don't sell it, you owe us. So find someone who knows how to cook it. Son of a bitch! Get out of here or I'll peg you in the head! - Find anything? - No, nothing. In the well? Garbage. Tie up the geese, I need to take a leak. Abelardo! Abelardo, come here! Carmen. Estrellla. Go back to the oar, I forgot my notebook. - Where was that? - Back there. Then why are you putting it here? - With the other stuff. - What stuff? The pile. All together so nothing gets lost. I'll put it back if you want. No, leave it there. Don't touch anything else. Write this down. "Apart from the breasts... "Several cuts, apparently stab wounds. First degree burn on the left hand." Let's move to the other body. Write down that she has cuts across her neck, abdomen and thorax. Three fingers cut off on her left hand. Signs of vaginal injury. She was probably raped like her sister. Help me turn her over. She was forced from behind too. They have been in the water for two days. - Where does this road lead? - To the river. - What are those photos for? - El Caso. - How did you find out? - I got a call. - Who? - I don't know. Get out of here. Weren't you listening? Get the hell out of here! I'm leaving, I'm leaving! Go on. Handle this discreetly and solve it as soon as possible. I promise you'll be rewarded. The harvest begins soon, and we can't lose it. We already have enough problems with the strike. Your ticket back to Madrid. They weren't killed here, there's no blood. Someone drove them here and dumped them. The tire tracks double back. He changed his mind and turned around. Maybe he saw someone and got nervous. Someone has to tell the parents. You're from here, they know you. You guys do it. We have to see them every day. I'll do it. Let's get a drink. Thanks. Excuse me. This came for you earlier. And your wife called. She said to call her back. What's wrong? A guy wants to see you. He's drunk and he has a shotgun. Who are you guys? We're police. We heard you wanted to see us. Put down the shotgun. No, you guys aren't cops. We don't sleep in uniform. Put that down. - Wanna see my badge? - Stay back. I'll show you my badge and you put down the shotgun. It's not loaded. I only wanted to talk. I'm sorry. Beatriz was my girlfriend. He killed her. He killed Adela too. He chops them up and dumps them in the river. That's why they only found the foot. What foot? It was her shoe. I gave it to her. She said she was coming back. Back from where? The Costa del Sol. She found a job there. She loved me. Nobody commits suicide with a suitcase. - What suitcase? - Hers. They found it floating in the river. Castro. Who was it? I don't know. We got back to the hotel late. I didn't want to wake you. Late means late. What do I do if there's no phone, paint one? I'm working, don't start. I am calm. You're the one who isn't! Good morning. I'm sorry. - Morning. - Morning. - Try the manteca colorá. - I'm not hungry. The girls' autopsy just came. Estrella's pantyhose had semen on them. Blood type AB. I talked to Miguel. I asked him for a list of all the Dyane 6's in the area. When did you talk to him? - Early. - You never sleep? - Sure I do. - When? When you do, that's why you never see me. The forensic said it was a boat propeller. Nobody in her family knew she was leaving town to work. The girls had one just like it. JOB OPPORTUNITIES FOR WOMEN These places aren't on the map. We don't know where they are. - What's in it for me? - What do you want? What size are those? Size big. These places are hard to find. Almost 500 pesetas. - Five hundred. - And the smokes. For the ride. I told you, nobody lives there. It's abandoned. Want me to open it? Looks like they left in a hurry. They left when they found out their daughter had drowned. They couldn't set foot in the house after that. You know them? Beatriz, Estrella and Carmen. Charlie's Angels. The one in the middle is Quini. - Hi. - Hi. His mother disappeared three years ago. My husband gave her this cross. She never took it off. My Adela said it was good luck. I have something to show you. Did you notice anything strange before she left? - My granddaughter was very sad when Quini left her. - Quini? Quini, from Villa-Franco. The good-looking one. She didn't say where she was going? To find work. She said she'd come back for us after. These books are hers. She was going to night school to get her diploma. - Can we take these? - Please don't lose them. - Thank you. - Thanks. Who are you? What the fuck do you want? Okay, okay! You, stay put. - Did you know Carmen and Estrella? - Everyone did. What was your relationship? You already know. I dated Carmen for a couple months. - A little young, no? - Young for what? - Did you take photos of her? - Do I look like a photographer? Want me to hit you again? Where were you the night they disappeared? September 17th, six days ago. Where? With a friend. Blonde, long hair, 16 years old? - Is that how you like them? - Motherfucker! Stop, stop, stop! Okay, okay. Where were you? You already know, I was with Marina the whole time. How do you know her? I don't. - And this one? - Nope. Why are you in the photo? Must have met her that night. Can I go now? Get out. That's my knife. Take it. They're all the same age. Very young. Adela disappeared on September 14th, Beatriz the 15th, Carmen and Estrella the 17th. In '77, '78 and '80. During the fair. - The town is busier. - People drink more, it takes longer to notice someone missing, more people meet... It could be an outsider, but they all knew Quini. - And they all wanted to leave. - Did you see his hand? Triangle tattoo. Like in the photo. Boss. - What's her name? The one in green. - Macarena. Give her this and another round. - It's strange. - What is? He's good-looking, he could have any girl. Why does he do it? You look tired. You should go to bed. Take the car, I don't mind. I'll walk back. Wednesday morning 200 workers with pickets blocked the national highway at four different spots... - Evening. - Evening. I'm coming! I'm alone. - Can I come in'? - Yeah, sure. Just a moment. What can you tell me about this? - That she has nice tits. - It's Carmen, she's dead. She had nice tits. - What can I tell you? - Whatever you know. - Where did you get it? - That's not your concern. - I'm a journalist. - Don't make me laugh. - Send it to Madrid. See what they say. - I don't have time. What do you want? Something I don't know. They were tortured. Were they raped? I read your letter in the paper. I liked it. If you catch me younger, I make you a hero. It's a very rare film. Not a common brand. Imported. I don't think many people around here use a roll like that. I can find out who does. But I want the photos of their cadavers. From the autopsy. I have a family. I have to put food on the table. Does your family know what you do? My family thinks I'm the next Truman Capote. He's an American writer. Never mind. Find out. I've seen your partner too, but I don't remember where. Do you know if he ever worked in Vallecas? - I'm sorry. - Thank you. I'm sorry. I found my daughters' bankbook. My husband had it hidden in the car. We found this in the glove compartment of your car. What's going on, Rodrigo? I owe a lot of money. I can't pay him. Pay who? A loan shark. Why? Because I wanted to get my family out of here. I didn't want my daughters in this town anymore. You borrowed money for your daughters? Stop... What's wrong with you? What is it? What's wrong? Two months ago I found a brick. At the Point. A brick of what? Tobacco? Heroin. You know what that is? How much did it weigh? One kilo. What did you do with it? I sold it. What did you do with the money? I spent it. On what? The car outside. Do you think that's why they killed your daughters? I don't know. They came here for their money. They took the washing machine, the fridge, the television... If I don't pay, they'll take the car and the boat. We'll have to move away. We need to talk to the Civil Guard. Have them step up surveillance at the Point. We have to find whoever owns that heroin. I'll take the river. I'll take Quini. HUNTING LODGE FOR RENT Yes. Okay, thanks a lot. Marina's at her house. Her mother says she's fine. The Civil Guard is mixed up in all of this. Someone's tipping them off. The whole town smokes American tobacco and there's not a single butt on any of the boats. They have to get by on something between harvests. Go in. Sit there. - I'm fine standing. - Sit, damn it. What were you doing at the hunting lodge earlier? I was with my girlfriend. Wanna hear the details? Yes, I do. Nobody ever explained it to you? - Who's the man in the hat? - What man? The guy who went in after you, before I got my head bashed in. Nobody came in. I told you, we were alone. You want my blood, is that it? Call the doctor, I'll wait. Too bad you didn't bring your pajamas. You're sleeping here. ...including Lora del Rio and other towns. The situation is becoming very serious. Similar incidents are taking place as they had in recent years in the Andalusian countryside. Damn! Are you okay? These are Joaquin Varela's blood test results. Quini. His blood type doesn't match the one we're looking for. I remind you this is a democracy. Next time you want to arrest someone, you ask me first. This country isn't what it was. The harvest is soon and people are nervous. Please don't waste any more time. Good day. You're not going to school today? I'm sick. My stomach hurts. What did you do yesterday afternoon? I went to a movie. With who? - With some friends. - What friends? One moment, I'll be right back. Who were you with yesterday at the hunting lodge? Who was the man in the hat, Marina? What man? Aren't you a little hot in that sweater? I'm sick. How did you hurt yourself? - What? - Your wrist. My watch gives me a rash. Cut the nonsense. Who was the man in the hat? - I don't know who you mean. - Where's Quini? - I don't know. - You're sick and he hasn't come to visit? - I didn't tell him. Why don't you call him? - Mom! - Marina, look at me. - Does your mom know what you do at the lodge? - Mom! - Tell us who the man is or we'll tell her. - Mom! - What is it? - I don't feel well. - My stomach hurts. I'm going to throw up. - Honey, what's wrong? Don't worry, ma'am. We were just leaving. - Thanks for the coffee. - You're welcome. Marina? - What are you doing? - Did you believe a word she said? Me neither. She's scared and I'm going to find out why. There are five bedrooms, each with several beds. I have extra beds if there are more of you. There's room outside for the dogs. There's water, electricity... Anyway... All the comforts. - Can I have a look? - Yes. Do you know the area? - Is the house yours? - I wish. We have fans available if you need them. - Whose house is it? - The owner lives in Valencia. She hasn't come in years, she's very old... - Who rented it last? - I don't remember. It's been closed for a long time. It's the off season. I was here yesterday and I saw three people enter the house. Nice, very pretty. You're hurting me! I asked you a question. Who was here yesterday? I don't know who rents it. You rent it and you don't know to who? I rent it to him by the day. He calls me right before and puts the money in an account. Lower your voice. Who's the man in the hat? Who is he? I don't know anything. I get paid not to meddle. What are you doing? What's going on here? Nothing. These gentlemen came to see the house. They were just leaving. Good afternoon. - Who is that? Do you know him? - The watchman? Never seen him in my life. Take a stroll, Jesus. Drive. I'll tell you where to go. Go inside. Go on. Have a seat. Eugenio, give them something to drink, it's hot. The heroin Rodrigo found was mine, but he didn't find it, he stole it. But I didn't kill anyone. That's Fermin over there. Angelita is his wife. You've already met. She's not psychic. Fermin was at the farmhouse the night the girls were killed. He knows more than what was in the well. But there's a price. What do you want? Withdraw the Civil Guard from the Point. Okay or not? - Okay. - Tell them, Fermin. I saw the man who threw the bag in the well. - What did he look like? - I didn't see his face, it was too dark. But he was normal, a normal person. It was the same day the girls disappeared. I was at the farmhouse waiting for a brick. - It was five in the morning. - What kind of car was it? A white Dyane 6. He drove right past me. The car had a sticker on the back window. What kind of sticker? A woman with long hair and a hat. - How long? This long? - A little shorter. - What was the hat like? - Big. Like a priest. Like this? I've seen this before somewhere. - Anything else, Fermin? - That's what I saw. Hey. I did see your problem. The dead are waiting for you. It's almost time. He gave her these towels. They were from the hotel where he worked in Malaga. - What was her friend's name? - Sebastian. - Sebastian what? - I don't know. - Is he from around here? - I don't know. - Have you ever seen him? - Never. - What else did she say? - That he was nice to her. That he helped her get over Quini. Thank you. Bye, buddy. Goodbye. His name is Sebastian Rovira Galvez. He doesn't work at the hotel anymore. He got fired. They still have some of his things there. We need to get them. MOTHER WITH FRIEND TOMORROW AT 7:30 AT THE CROSS. GO ALONE. The photos of the girls were taken with a roll like that one. - Only one place sells them. - Where? Where are my photos? - I don't have them yet. - And what do you have? Aguila Photography, in Seville. Someone places a prepaid order every month. - Who? - A good-looking guy named Quino or Quini. They develop them there too, but they wouldn't tell me about them. But definitely not communion photos. I think there's someone else there. You can see the reflection of whoever took the photo. He's blurred by the flash. Tell me who he is and you'll get your photos. All right, but I'll need the negative. Otherwise it's impossible. I won't use it. You can trust me. Would you trust someone like you? You have my word. Can he sleep at night? Your partner. I remembered. He was in the Social-Political Brigade. You know, Franco's Gestapo. He killed a girl at a protest in Vallecas in '71. Shot her twice. He's aged badly. And I'm glad. Hello. How are you? That's Marina. She and my daughters were close friends. Quini took her to the hunting lodge the other day. After they were together he asked her not to get dressed, and he tied her to the bed. Then he left the room and came back with another man. Who was he? She didn't see his face. All she knows is he smelled good, like expensive cologne. And that he had very soft hands. He took photographs of her. Quini threatened to show them to everyone in town, if she told anyone. The night my daughters were killed... Marina was with Quini, but not the whole night. Do you think she'd be able to tell a judge? She couldn't even tell you. I have to go. Good afternoon. I'm Pedro Suarez. - The manager is expecting me. - One moment, please. ACCESS PROHIBITED TO NON-EMPLOYEES It's this suitcase. - Shall I open it? - Yes, open it. The guy was really weird. He had a problem with a guest. What problem? Something weird with a very young girl. I think that's why he vanished all of a sudden. Poof and he was gone. Rovira Galvez, Sebastian. Sexual assault on a minor? Whereabouts unknown... A two-year-old warrant for his arrest... Anything else? Any friends who know him? No, he has no family. Nobody in his town ever saw him again. He didn't even go to his mother's funeral. Yeah, yeah. Thank you very much. The wages are nothing! It's not enough to survive on! You should know we're going through rough times. Mr. Alfonso is offering 20% more than last year. - 150 pesetas more per day. - That's nothing! Silence, please! 170 pesetas. That's his final offer. Anyone who doesn't want to work can stay home. We've too many people already. If you want to sign up, get in line. Sir! Hey! Excuse me. Juan Robles. I just wanted to introduce myself. Alfonso Corrales. I'm with the police. I'm here about the murders. If I can be of any help... Let me know if you need anything. - See you around. - Thank you. Yes. Yes, don't worry. Of course. Good night, Manuel, and thanks. The field boss says there's no Dyane 6 on the Corrales property, neither registered or unregistered. And Marina's mother says her daughter is at a movie. I'll call Mr. Corrales tomorrow and have him come in for a blood test. - It's late for today. - It's 11 o'clock. I don't think it's late. I'll call him tomorrow morning. I don't think there will be any problem. Right now I'm going to have them check on the girl. I'm not asking you to call him on the telephone. I'm asking you to authorize a blood test. Right now. And I also want authorization to question Corrales and Quini together. I heard you were a troublemaker. What did you say? All you have is literature. Your partner saw a man in a hat. Nothing more. Isn't that right? That's right. I wear a hat too. Does that make me a suspect too? I won't authorize anything until you bring me something conclusive. Now please leave. I'll call you when I hear back. You're protecting him. What? You don't know how things work around here. Yes, I do. Just like everywhere else. You're going to be a father. You should be more careful about what you do. Get out. Why didn't you say anything? Whose side are you on? Are you with them too? I just want to solve this case. I don't want to be taken off it. You're just like the rest of them. You'd rather things were like before. I know what you used to do. I know about Vallecas. You don't know anything. Nothing! Be careful who you get your information from. - That guy is out for blood. - Let me go. It was an accident. And it wasn't me. It was my partner. I didn't even draw my weapon. If you killed someone, I'd cover for you too. Is that wrong? Let's go to Marina's house. No, how could he be the father? He's 87 years old! Tell them I'll do anything, I don't care. - Hello? - It's me. Hi, Marina. I wanted to know what's happening with Malaga. When will they call me? Look, there was a problem with your contract. They're not hiring anyone until next year. Talk to them. Tell them I'll do anything, I don't care. I have to get out of here. I can't take it anymore. Let's meet. At the usual spot in half an hour. She called this number. It's the hunting lodge. It's okay. Coming! Who is it? - Who else lives in this house? - Nobody. - Who? - The watchman. - What's his name? - Antonio. - Who is Sebastian? - I don't know. - Stop. - Where is Sebastian? I said stop! Sit down. Do you know who Carmen and Estrella were? Before they killed them, they tortured them. With a hunting knife and pliers. They ripped off their nipples. They cut off their toes. They stuck something in their ass and vagina until they bled. They were awake the whole time. You can't imagine how much pain a person can bear before fainting. I didn't know. I didn't know, I didn't know... Look at me. What's the watchman's name? Sebastian. He came looking for work and I hired him. His mother was my friend. - He needed to hide. - Hide from what? I don't know. He had changed a lot. I hardly recognized him. - Do you know Alfonso Corrales? - Yes. Have you ever seen him in this house? I don't come here when the house is rented out. Where is Sebastian? Where? At the abandoned house at the lodge. Open it. Juan! A contract in Estrella Blanco's name to work at the Hotel Medio Dia. And there are more, with other girls' names. Hey! There goes the car! Come on! Careful, it's slippery in the rain. Careful! Go, go, go! It's stuck. This road leads only to the Marshland. There's a shortcut over here! Freeze! Murderer! Yeah? They asked about me? Who? To congratulate me? A telegram? Open it. DEATH IN MARSHLAND GIRLS BUTCHERED No, skip that. Where it says "Destination." Alcobendas? That's Madrid. I can practically walk there. How are you? Of course I miss you. A lot. I can't wait to see you both. Pedro, come here. This is Macarena and... Don't tell me... Tell me. Marivi. Turn around, let him get a look at you. Go on, turn. You two are gorgeous. My partner, Pedro. - Say hi to Pedro. - Hi, Pedro. They work at the crab factory. We're celebrating because they got a raise. They won the strike. Long live the working class! You want another drink? Come on, my treat. Let's have a drink. Pedro, Pedro... Where is it? - Where have you got it? - Right here. Here. Who's that? Who? DOUBLE HOMICIDE SOLVED IN MARSHLAND It's him. It's him, he's my friend. Here, hold onto it. For your son. Don't lose it. Don't lose it, Pedro. Well? How about that drink? You're a hero now. Your photos. There's somebody else but you can't see who. It's just a spot. To Truman Capote. To Truman Capote. You were misinformed. It wasn't him. It was an accident. A gift. This enlargement came out better. Taken the day the girl was killed at the protest. They called him the Crow. He alone tortured over 100 people. And he was the best at it. Take care, Pedro. Jesus made us some food for the road. - Here, I owed you this. - What is it? Bambi stew. - Watch yourself. - You too. We're good, right? Summary of the previous installment A month had past since I noticed Big Sis's (Bon's) first Boys Love (BL) manga... submitted to the Comic Market was exposed online and horribly mocked During this time, Big Sis freaked out over not being able to contact her best friend... A sex slave living with her boyfriend in Tokyo This made her think of something ridiculous. "The Sex Slave Rescue Mission" The mission was to charge into their love nest and steal her back I fought against this for three days and three nights... but ended up being dragged onto an overnight bus headed for Tokyo We were supposed to meet Bebi-chan, Big Sis's online friend and... contributor of this mission, but she had forgotten... she was supposed to buy a BL manga that she recommended for him We rushed ourselves to the shop with a sea of BL fanzines... "Tora-no-Ana" Just great Hmm... Though I can sense it's presence I am unable to see it Other hunters must've gotten to the sexual demons first Not that I really care about this author It's just... My sparkly index is... slap, love, death, destiny Hey there my friendly sexual beast Huh? Shitty reaction I'm just a little nervous Nope. Not it What? Lin, I changed my mind. Don't need those Oh, Ok Yep, it's this one Yeah These are the ones with real destructive powers Seems like Big Sis's type 4,800 yen... That's quite expensive... Heard he got busy and stopped writing Still too expensive... This fact wasn't written in any of the Books of Prophecies Impressive! "Bon" Natsuko the forever damned hunter with the blood of 108 sexual demons You can't seem to escape the wrath of sexual desire Oh, a sigh like a beast's roar So we didn't buy anything after all. Sorry! No it's Ok No, I'm really sorry I didn't really care though, as long as I got the feel of Boy's Love No, no, no! It doesn't work like that Without caution, you may dislike us BL lovers as well That's also why it was such a hard decision But it's not like I'd start hating you Well, thank you then I thought you'd say that Well no, more than that... I don't want you to start hating anal What? Ok... Um... Let's eat Thanks So, which do you like better, games or BL? You're gonna ask me that? Um... nevermind I know you can't choose If someone asked me games or anime, I couldn't answer Sorry It's fine But Bon, why do you love BL so much? That's where you go... Um, yeah... Perversion...? Maybe cause my favorite characters fondle each other? There are unrealistically no girls, making it somehow more real... What is it? I know there is something more legit I'm sure there's something There's no need to overthink it Maybe it was a foolish question... Lin, you like BL too? Yeah, Big Sis's influence So then does that mean you like boys? No, that's not it! No? Yes... If you don't mind homosexuality there are some good love stories But stuff like mens' bodies or sex acts don't interest me Oh... But, he's been in some pretty gritty situations Oh, really? Yeah Like men touching me in the train Really? Yeah I'm used to it now Used to it? Yeah But it's not like I enjoy it! My guess is that his bitching is just for show Don't say that. I'm pretty scared Oh, you're scared? Yeah... It's like I feel this overwhelming power Yeah, that makes sense So then the two of you are normal Yes, other than the fact that I want a penis I think I'm super normal What does that mean? I just wanna be a top With Lin bottoming? I used to want that but not too much recently He was really cute back in middle school You two have been together for so long We aren't dating That's not what... I'm not interested in dating right now I don't mean Lin only, but men in general I'm just not interested What I am interested in now is puttin Lin's hard penis inside Bebi's anal So kinky That's so kinky Stop it Big Sis Lin is gonna fuck me? It's Ok. Come on Sis, don't! Sorry, I need to go to the bathroom He's coming on to you Big Sis, you're getting too excited Yep, my sparkly index is at 200% Well then I'll go now Ok Why does Lin call you Big Sis? Maybe because I'm his BL teacher I've been a fan of anal since elementary school And thanks about the "Sex Slave" thing Yeah, no problem He's such a fake I think you just wanna say "Fake" Look at this A picture of your Big Sis and an old man What's this? They're in Tokyo. Your Big Sis and my big brother What's that? How dare they? The world's gonna wanna punish them for that You forgot the initial "These two are fucking idiots" You know my boobless Big Sis's earlobes are virgins too? How would I know that? Anyways, who's that chubby old man? Apparently he's helping with the "Sex Slave" rescue mission Oh, the "Sex Slave" thing... What's "Sex Slave's" real name? It's Miyu She's a pretty cute girl, right? Yeah Then why is she a "Sex Slave"? Not a very nice nickname They became really good friends in high school and the three of us played together a lot We named our local shopping mall the save point That's so Otaku We didn't really play, I just listened to Big Sis and Miyu discuss BL Must have been awesome But a little while ago, 6 months to be exact... No, 8 months ago? Miyu started dating someone Why does having a boyfriend make her a sex slave? Lin named her that. He's darker than you think. Beware That's pretty scary... Maybe with me too? No, don't worry. I have absolutely no interest in you Oh, umm... I was just kidding. Sorry It was a joke? Yes The sex slave thing is a joke too She did sexual things before us and became braggy So we started competing who could be meaner to her The way we would compete was... These things happen because she fell for the wrath of pleasure I don't really get it And since when can't you get ahold of her? About a month... No, 4 weeks No, 29 days You can't get ahold of her at all? Yep That's worrisome isn't it? Yep A "Sex Slave" is still a human Honestly, I regret it I should have dissuaded Miyu from going to Tokyo I'm sure she's trapped under some wimpy guy's penis as his sex slave A sex slave for a wimpy guy? Just an assumption Miyu likes wimpy and skinny boys Much like Lin right now She is a sex slave with a lot of motherly love A cute girl with a lot of motherly love... That's nice Yeah But her motherly love is now conquered by her sexuality It's a waste to fall for sexuality. She is being too honest to her needs One should get married first and then fuck all day and night When one falls for sex, they lose track of themselves and fail It doesn't even become a craft The three pleasures: drink, gamble, hustle were a big part of Shinsho's life but he never fell for Juliet's heart One must never fall for a woman, fall in love with a woman That's what I mean What's Shinsho? Kokontei Shinsho He is an old master comedian Bon, you like comedy too? No, that isn't so I just recently grew an interest in him One of grandpa's relics was a biography about him Interesting Craft... The thing that Japan lacks right now is artistic craft Whatever it is. I think it's important to have a craft Especially in your youth, it's all about craft Craft is the Excalibur I understand Yep To master a craft one must have hunger and be stoic That's what Japan lacks. They're way to peaceful Because they have no craft they easily drift off Hipocracy runs amok and low fertility worsens How is low fertility related? Too peaceful, lack of crisis mentality, devolution of the species preservation Excuse me It's hard to verbalize, but these peaceful Japanese should work to find some sort of craft This journey should grow to become a strong voice for our souls And the craft we acquire will certainly help us out Absolute confidence should become a source for originality Individual concepts of value. An invinsible personality Courage to challenge something new. It would make us so strong! Oh, do you wanna see Miyu's picture? Yes, absolutly! That's her Kinda nostalgic Wow, she's so cute Right? She's such a nice girl Is that Bon? Yep You haven't changed 62 months have passed and you look the same A lack of progress it seems She's so cute Miyu... must be amazing to have a girlfriend like her No, we need to take her back Taking her back to where? Back to her hometown obviously I wanna go home too So give me some train money Come on, please Come on I still don't get it Why'd we have to pay money to that guy? We should have bought that BL book Those guys only have 5, no 3 years left Their lives are peaking right now Grandpa said that people who are nasty will always fail at life It was just two guys. We have two guys too, you know? I don't know... Bebi... ..you're a grown man Sorry I've always been like this I was bullied a lot too by guys like that But even at this age... I'm so sorry Bebi it's ok. They looked even stronger than Big Sis Their smirks were weirder than Big Sis's and they're a lot bigger than her, too They had bigger boobs than her, too Hey there Thanks It just irritates me. Not only them, but with myself I'm pitiful I'm sorry, I was too mean There's no need to appologize Otaku hunted at this age... I guess it was an old man hunt, not an Otaku hunt Or maybe it's both Being an adult must be tough From a social standpoint, you're totally an adult, too We aren't gonna charge into Miyu's house today Why? I'm tired Coming from the countryside, the overnight bus was pretty tiresome That makes sense Yeah, so we will head directly to the hotel How do we get to Higashi-Ginza from here? Big Sis, we can't do that Why? Cause we don't have money Big Sis? You took a pic? Gonna send it to little sis Why? Cause I owe her money I need to send pics periodically or the interest goes way up You sold your soul Give me, I'll take a pic of you Oh, your zipper is open Big Sis... And, send... Oh, cruel "Tiro Finale" My little sis's reply will send me down the "Law of Cycles" I'm not a big fan of Magical Girl And eww, why're you so dramatic? My hit points are going down Sent! What'd you send? A picture of Lin getting excited about this gross room It's gross, isn't it? Yeah But... awesome! Thank you Kidding, I'm about to puke Big Sis... Obviously I'm kidding. Otherwise it'd just be offensive Anyways, love what you've done with the place Now it's not sad! The bathtub is pretty cool, too Really? Can I take a look? Of course. This way Lin, come too Ok. Can I take pics? Sure Holy crap! Gross! I didn't do anything with my life That hunting today got me thinking When I was younger, I just watched anime or went to brothels and forgot about it Ignoring the root of the problem, I was satisfied with immediate pleasure Youth is a crime No, I am full of potential I should've tried more things out Try a lot of things to find a craft for myself But I was scared of trying Failing in this world that I loved But I seriously regret it now I don't even know what it's like to challenge new things Compared to now, the stuff I was worried about in my youth was nothing My worries are much bigger now It was like a grain of sand It was just a moment of anguish You guys shouldn't be worrying now Yes Leave worrying up to us old men It's our job It's not something you guys should feel No, you aren't supposed to feel it. You should trust your possibilities I am done with it. Completely pinned down by work to survive By survive you mean brothels, right? Well honestly I haven't gone for a while No, for anime and games Still not something to be proud of But you are still young, compared to guys in their 60s or 80s Especially your body You've still got potential You think so? Especially compared to those guys who can't see reality straight on "I'm just taking it easy" Compared to those guys, you are working really hard Maybe I should at least have graduated Otaku-dom But if you weren't an Otaku, you and I wouldn't have met That is true I'm glad I met you Bebi I've learned a lot about life listening to your sorry stories Doesn't that mean you're passing down wisdom to the next generation? Maybe it's a sense of self-sacrifice Maybe Bebi will become a role model for future Japanese You think so? Maybe that hunting was sort of a prophecy Grandpa used to say this when me and Lin got bullied One gets bullied because they have something special Bebi, I'm sure you have something special, too Really? Yes A nonchalant spearing soul A spearing soul? Yes Bebi, you are an absolute gross Otaku. You proudly wear disgusting fashion There is no doubt that you are a gross Otaku Lin and I are still somewhat concerned with our fashion Even when we aren't so interested But Bebi, you aren't like that You aren't concerned with social norms You don't even mind your body odor Actually you should mind that Anyways, you have a spearing soul A spearing soul isn't really helping me The number of Otaku girls is increasing Recently at the cafeteria, I saw two girls going... "I stayed up watching anime all night, I'm such an Otaku" "Me too!" Bon... Girls like that This is good news for Bebi This means similar boys will pop up What are those guys called? Fakes? Correct! For Bebi, it'd be like: "These fake Otakus..." "...barging into our territory" "Anime isn't a fashion item. Hey! Don't come!" But it's all a matter of perception Let's consider things differently What? Who is better? Fakes or the real thing? Well, obviously the real thing... Oh! A fake and real Otaku, there is no competition This victory came only because you held out so long You are the classic case where society caught up to you Success in your youth is horrible. Shinsho wouldn't have been a master that way So start now! Go work hard and fuck everything A spearing soul is justice. Take your spear of sexuality and swing it to the heavens, like the spear of Longinus Now it's your turn to hunt the female dragon... no, a pussy cat Me, the hunter... Yes, of course Ok! I'm gonna go poop now Yep, go pump it out Yes ma'am Me, the hunter... Bon... Don't scare me like that, I almost peed my pants Bon... Yes? Bon... I love you! Ever since we met on "Monster Hunter" online I'm a gross Otaku but I love you With my spearing soul I think Miyu is being physically and mentally abused I am taking Miyu home Miyu looks her best when she is smiling She doesn't deserve to be sad Yeah Also, you are being watched He's asleep No, I mean that What? It's Lin's smartphone It's out of the box What's this? This is being broadcast online There should be some people watching, including Lin's younger sister Is that a joke? I'm serious Which website? Hey, Bon? Which website? Bon? Hey, Bon? Where? Bon? Oh, he found out Really? What happened? He hugged her Seriously? I wanted to see that Don't worry, I'm recording Awesome Please turn it off Nope I didn't ever wanna expose myself again but I'm still scared I promise it will be Ok It's totally not Ok Like I said earlier... I'm not interested in dating at all Cause I'm an old man? Yep Yeah Honestly it's a question of mental readiness Lin, look look! Lin look No Give it to me so I can delete it It's the pic that your little sis kindly sent us You asked for it, right? A little pouty, are we? Here here, good boy I'm not little Moro No, like Teto Still an animal? No, a sex beast Big Sis, you're too open It's because you passed out even without drinking My role was supposed to be yours No, Bebi as Lin, and me as Bebi, I guess It's not like I got my tits sucked or had my anal fingered All he did was hug me. And only for a couple of seconds Even so... Good boy What now? It's just love... hug! Still think you are treating me like a sexual beast Hee hee Umm... You're late, sex criminal. I told you to come in 10 secs! That's why you'll never have sex without paying for it What's that bag? It's my breakfast Mr. Animalistic Desire, you ditched your stakeout? Sorry, I've been on since midnight and I got hungry... You're complaining? Even after the crime you committed? I'm sorry... Your heart wasn't in it Really? Well then, I guess it's time I send this pic to your company I'm so sorry... I truly appologize. Let me get on the floor and beg That makes me look bad, so no Anyways, the report please Yes. Someone seems to be home since last night Ok. Please lead us there Yes ma'am. Please follow me He's been on a stakeout since last night? Of course If he stayed, this old beast may have attacked me I was so scared! I'm so sorry Don't look this way evil one! Yes The final battle with this party... They're on the fourth floor I'm calling the police if they aren't there They're there Their lights were on until really late last night I was watching his door from across the street Didn't stop you from going shopping I'm sorry... Lin... Let's go in! Let's persuade her and bring her back home I've never been so nervous Are you ready? Mr. Sexual Demon? Ready baby! Stop using that gross language, Anti-sex-ed-man I'm sorry... Beb... Mr. Miss-firing Sexual Weapon. Now's the time to be ballsy Yes ma'am Just like the time when you came onto me You just thought of something gross No! Not at all! That isn't true! Umm... It's the police Yes? I came over from the police Yes? Um, here is my ID I have a couple questions What is it? You are Mr. Keizo Kanieda? Yes A search request for a missing person... A missing person? It's for Miyu I know she lives here What the fuck? We know Miyuki Saito lives here We want to talk to her. Can we see her? Please! Please! Please! Wait a sec What are you talking about? Please! Wait, give me a second What is this? What the fuck? We broke up So she doesn't live here anymore Where does she live now? She lives in Tokyo I think Well no, for sure What do you mean? Officer, it's not like I was holding her in custody She was over 20 too, so we were just living together Ok... Plus, I am a victim too A missing person's report was it from her parents? Or was it these two? Is it normal to be investigating together? Not that it matters This really doesn't concern me anymore So it's a little annoying You need to be more responsible Hey... What about me is irresponsible? I'm mentally fucked up cause of her She is the one who is irresponsible How is she irresponsible? Miyu was texting me about the violence she was tolerating Miyu is the victim What? She was betraying me the whole time What? Miyu wouldn't hurt anybody You're using that as an excuse for violence? That is horrible That is a crime You don't know anything do you? What? She was a prostitute For over six months It's total bullshit Fucking bullshit I told her to quit many times She totally ignored me She even said she quit But just changed shops It's worse than just being unfaithful She had no right to bitch, even when I hit her Thanks to her I may have HIV Now that shit is a crime What the fuck man? It's getting to my head That's a lie It's not a fucking lie I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown What if I have it? My life would be ruined That's a lie It's not a fucking lie She got me infected You said "maybe" earlier A different STD. Clamydia Clamydia heightens the chance of HIV You should just get yourself checked Do you understand what I'm going through right now? What If I get tested positive? Think before you fucking talk Think more about others! But it was wrong to hurt Miyu Do you know the name Satsuki? You mean from Totoro? It's the name she wanted to give her kid A boy or a girl, it didn't matter And her professional name is Satsuki, too She is using our special name for prostitution That bitch It was all a lie Please tell us the name of her shop What the fuck are you gonna do? I'm gonna go meet her Are you kidding me? I'm serious Stop it with your stupid friendship bullshit She is just gonna get hurt She'll just be annoyed It doesn't concern you guys Please tell us Are you listening to what I'm saying? Please tell us Are you shitting me? I feel like I'm gonna die You're fucking pissing me off Fucking assholes You guys have no idea what I'm going through Please tell us Please tell us Please tell us Is Satsuki in today? Oh, Ok Yes Yes Three o'clock? Ok, that's fine In front of the police booth? Really? Ok Ok Yes Costume? Do you have anime stuff? Um, no normal is fine Ok Ok. Thank you Ok Then at 3PM Thank you Jesus Christ We're meeting up and going to a hotel Which hotel do you think? In front of a police booth? My god. It's so surreal I'm sorry Big Sis We aren't sure if she is Miyu There's a chance she isn't Miyu, right? Let's believe in that She's not the type who would sell her body By the way, what kind of prostitution is it? It's not the "real thing" but they make you feel good What's "the real thing"? Um, well that... umm I'm kidding, I know. Please stop it with your gross reactions For now I guess it's good I didn't say it out loud but I was thinking that maybe she was dead My wish is to meet with Miyu as soon as possible Right? Lin? Um, yeah I'm just gonna take her home anyways We have some time until 3PM Let's go to a BL manga shop Now? I forgot to get Miyu a gift. I'm gonna buy her something special I'll get her that hella-expensive one We still aren't sure if it's her We must always be prepared Always be imaginitive That's the only way to become strong You sound like Haruki Murakami That makes it sound like I'm ripping him off As your punishment, you need to pay for that book Bon is surprisingly calm Yeah, I think it's cause it makes no difference for her What do you mean? It's hard to say, but even if Miyu did it with a lot of guys... I think it's the same for Big Sis Cause she isn't a virgin anymore That's the important distinction for her It's really hard to explain The one thing I'm sure of is that she is different from me I'm sure she is very worried though Huh... Yes This act is justice for Big Sis But as that guy said, it's probably a burden for Miyu I don't think we should budge in I think we should go home I feel like Big Sis is very selfish I think if Big Sis gave up a little, everything would be solved I envy Miyu though Someone thinks of her this much Cause I don't have any friends I made a lot of mistakes this time, too I feel terrible Oh Bebi! You pulled off your police cover. I was impressed This thing? CIA Ethan Hunt Tom Cruise If you go with balls, people don't seem to notice I thought it was a crazy idea when Bon told me about it Maybe cause of the way I look? Nah, it's cause you are an adult You think? Absolutely By the way... Why is Bon called "Bon"? You don't know? No "Bon" from ribbon. It's an abbreviation Huh, interesting Why a ribbon? Huh? Big Sis's clothes and accessories Look at the ribbons Oh, that makes sense She likes ribbons I kind of understand why you're an "amateur" virgin I'm sorry I don't even know professional sex If you become my friend, I won't get mad at you What? Can't we be friends? As two virgins? Sure Then let's pinky promise Ok "Pinky promise is forever..." Stamp Thumb Now it's official Officially fuck buddies? Bebi looks really nervous What's he nervous about? All he's doing is luring her in Plus, he is a brothel veteran Where's she coming from? What if it's from behind? Sorry, I'm really nervous What the? ! Why is he on the phone? Ok, let's go No Huh? No They're leaving, Big Sis! Come on! Yep, I'll text you the hotel's name and address The room number too, just in case Yes It's not far from where we were You'll be able to find it The address is written outside, too Ok, I'll make sure to answer Why? Oh, right Ok Five minutes Ok, 10 minutes Sounds good I'm sure it'll be Ok No problem Oh my god, the bathtub here is amazing Yes sir I'll send you the details by mail Yes sir I understand I will get on it now Thank you very much Wanna hang your coat? No, it's Ok Why? It's taking too long Lin... Yeah? It was Miyu Yeah She looked different but I could tell even from far away Yeah She was smiling Yeah I wonder why Something is wrong Something's wrong This isn't right What was the room number again? 60 Big Sis Big Sis Quiet. We're being watched What? Look over there Don't turn your head. Look with your peripheral vision Camera We can't walk past it unnoticed You wanna book a room? Way too expensive We have to use the "Emergency Line" Shit It wasn't them Do I just click on the room? I think so Whatever room is fine, I guess Welcome This way please Guess you didn't see him Yeah... Normal people use an elevator, you know Over here It's so hot Wait a second Excuse me It's the front desk Excuse me It's the front desk Yes? That's Bebi's voice Excuse me We believe you dropped something downstairs Wrong room We are sure it is yours I'm coming What? Natsuko? Is that you Natsuko? Yeah Natsuko! Why? Why are you here? Why? How are you here? Why did you come here? Miyu Stop all this and come home I don't want to Why are you here? Miyu Excuse me If you cause any trouble I will have to call the police Is that Ok? Did you call her Bebi? No, I didn't Um, sorry, there are security cameras on each floor Um, so would it be Ok If I report this to the police? Give us a second. We are friends Bebi! Come out and explain Bebi! Wait, wait a sec My lust was just... Shut up You pathetic loser! Only with professional fucking experience The only way you'd lose your virginity is by putting your dick in your own ass That's so mean Please stop making so much trouble Our business suffers from people like you Sorry I won't contact the police this time, as you say these are your friends But next time, I will have to call the police Please keep that in mind Yes... sorry Don't sit there I forbid you from being in my sight Excuse me, but... Why did you choose such a nice room? Are you asking me? Yes Um... Were you showing off or something? That wasn't my intent Satsuki said she liked this room Yep, I like it Sorry, it's just me showing off It's not Satsuki's fault Mr. Aida, you're so nice You think so? Bebi! Do you grasp the situation you are in? I wanted to be your friend but this is horrible Sorry... You betrayed us You said you would come right out Sorry Appologizing doesn't solve anything She is my close friend You understood the situation, right? Lin, stop it Yelling at Bebi doesn't solve anything Unless it's going to lead you guys to bed Lin topping and Mr. Aida bottoming That's so kinky Miyu Why are you doing this? You broke up with that guy, you should come home Why didn't you tell me? I was planning on going home but thought I'd stay a little longer Why? Did you think that coming back home wasn't cool? You were showing off like this amateur virgin? Nope. It's just more fun being here You're having fun doing this job? Yep, it's very fun Why? You won't understand Why not? Cause you're a virgin Thanks for everything. Now it's my turn to work for you. There's something I want to do with you the day after tomorrow. What? Hold hands and walk together. Hello, package delivery for you. Sure, okay... Just a moment. Coming. That'll be 1,280 yen, cash on delivery. Thank you very much. It's the book we ordered online. Don't you think we're fine after all this time? No, just hang in for two more days. Well, 38 hours to be precise. Please, just be patient. Say, would your hotel give us a discount on our wedding? What's the point? You'll dump me once you make it big anyway. Not when we've invested 1.4 million yen in you. KABUKICHO LOVE HOTEL Hey, stop for a sec. Hello? I'm leaving. Yes, I'll rehearse first, then head to the venue early. After the show? Okay. Good morning. Morning. Morning. Morning, sir. Room 302, door is open. Room 302, occupied. Streetwalkers often stand outside. If they enter, ask them to leave. Anything else? The whole second floor is rented to a porn shoot from 11 AM. No need to clean that floor, then. Well, until 5 PM. Say, Manager, we're almost out of 100 yen coins. Oh, hell. Borrow some from Atlas 2. Sato, go there later. I caught a cold. And without insurance, I can't see a doctor. Fine, I'll go. Sorry for the trouble. I can't lose this time! I don't know. What? I don't know. I don't know. Be right back. Please get her into makeup. Will do. Azusa, good luck. Thanks. Show them to the room, idiot. Yes, sorry! Tell the hotel we're here. Yes, sir. Good morning. - Good morning. - What're you looking at? I was looking for info on flea markets. You like flea markets? Good deals on clothes. "WANTED PERSONS" "Juicy Fruits - Ilia" Chong-su? Chong-su? Go home, Koreans! Don't disgrace the Japanese flag. Stop discrimination. What? Oh, my feet? Looks awful, doesn't it? It's from the chlorine in the chemicals here. I'm sorry. It's not your fault. Still, sorry. C'mon, Kim, you gotta pull it tight. You forgot this, too. Where's the candy? Candy? Didn't bring one? We call condoms "candies" here. Mom. Mom. Can you hear me? What're you doing? I'm back. Hey. I'll go to the immigration office the day after tomorrow. Don't worry, they won't detain me for overstaying. It's not like I entered with a fake passport... Thank you for calling Juicy Fruits. Yes, any girl in particular? Ilia? Sure, for how long? One hour, got it. Yes, no problem. - Ilia. - Yes? You have a booking. Okay. Mom, I'll call you again when I'm about to depart. Yes, sorry about that. I'll get more days off so I can train at the gym. Yes, thank you. Ilia, it's your last day? Yeah. Ido San. Ow! That hurts. Sorry. Thanks for everything. Such a shame, you're still popular. You could keep making money. What's this? The pizza that the porn crew ordered. Why didn't you deliver it? It'll get cold. Can't abandon the front desk. What room? 211. I brought your pizza. Come in. Coming in. You like moustaches? Moustaches? They're okay. It'll be fine. Where should I put the pizza? Just right there. Sure. The AD will pay you, so hang on. Sure. Miyu? What're you doing here? Come here. Hey, wait, stop! Who are you? I'm her big brother. Mind stepping out for a sec? Go, go. I'm sorry. Um, would you mind leaving us, too? I'm sorry. Why are you doing porn? What about school? I still go. It was right after I was admitted that the tsunami hit. Our fish factory was swept away, and Dad couldn't work, remember? But you said you'll get a part-time job to pay off the tuition. I was doing that. After class, I worked at a store, then waitressed 'til morning. I was so tired I slept in class. I wanted to be a nursery teacher, but I could barely study. I thought about hostess work, but I didn't want the town knowing. So you chose porn? I saw an online ad for a porn gig in Tokyo. I knew it'd be tough, but they pay for travel, so I applied. They replied and said the director can meet me nearby. He's known for doing POV videos with amateur girls on the road. They agreed to blur my face, and paid 150,000 yen. I started coming to Tokyo on weekends, and I paid off my tuition in no time. I was shocked when I first came here. Only half a year after the tsunami, and people went on like nothing had happened. On TV they all called for solidarity, but in the end, no one really cared. How's Dad's depression? He's fine with medication. He's in Fukushima doing decontamination work. Mom's at the fish cake factory that restarted. If they're both working, why do you do this? You're so naive. Decontamination work only pays 10,000 yen per day, 20 days per month. The fish cake factory pays 750 yen per hour. You know, even deciding to buy clothes used to be a dilemma, pacing back and forth, not sure if I should. Now, if it's under 20,000 yen, I just buy it. Being poor is unthinkable now. Talking with the cast and crew is fun, and I get to meet cool people. When I get makeup done and wear costumes, I start to become someone else and forget the bad stuff. Porn is legitimate work, so I don't feel guilty at all. Can you tell Mom and Dad you're doing porn, then? No. You shouldn't do work you can't tell your parents about. What about you? Why are you here? Weren't you at Grand Pacific? I was fired. Why? None of your business. This is a love hotel. Can you tell Mom and Dad? What if I do? Go ahead. Sorry, excuse me. Azusa, we're ready for you now. - Okay. - Thank you. Don't tell Mom and Dad, okay? It'll make them sad. It makes... Will you take a picture with us? Sure, of course. Thank you. Alright, say "kimchi". Kimchi. Here. Thanks. No! Get away from me! I said don't! Don't! Let me go! Please! Please! Don't do this! No, no... Where's the vibrator? Sorry, I'll go get it. Found it. Ready. And... action! Wait, no... Stop... Please, let me go. No streetwalkers allowed here. You talk big for a kid. Thanks. See you in a bit. But you allow that? Delivery girls are fine. They're not filthy like you. I used to be a call girl, you know. That's an ancient term. You're showing your age. Die, asshole. Oh, Ilia, that feels good. Then I'll make you feel even better. Ilia, can't we have sex today? You know it's against the rules. If we do it, I'd be fired. Then I wouldn't be able to see you anymore. I don't want that, but... Are you ready? I'm ready. Feel good? Feel good? Feel good? I'm gonna come! Come, I'm coming too! I'm coming! Ilia. It's perfume. I hope you like it. I've been with lots of delivery girls, but no one's been as genuine as you. Service tells you a lot about a girl. If you don't mind, will you go out with me? I'm sorry. Of course... I'm an idiot, what was I thinking? I'm going home to Korea. I can't take this. No, please take it. It's my first gift to a girl, ever. I talked with the clerk, wondering what you'd like. That itself was fun, my heart was bouncing. My heart was bouncing. Okay? So please, take it. It's my... final request. Amamiya San. Thank you. Thank you. What? What? There's something I want in return. Your panties. Panties? Panties. Here! Oh, it's not... Found it. Give me panties. Take it. Yes! What're you...? Oh, please! Don't do that! Hello? Yes, I know! I know, sir. Close the door. Just give me one week, only one week. Kim... I'll do something about it. C'mon, you know me, sir. Close it all the way or it'll open again. Thank you, sir. Fucking asshole! Why am I in this filthy place eating cup noodles? Listen, Kim, I'm not the kind of person who belongs here. Where do you belong? Know the Grand Pacific? It's a 5 star hotel. No? I worked there. Some stuff happened and I'm sort of stuck here for now, but I'll be back working at a first class hotel. This is just a temporary gig, you understand? Temporary? Know that word? Room 307, vacating. They're out, can you go clean? Do it in 20 minutes. Boss scolds me for slow turnaround. Where's Suzuki San? I saw her by the fire escape. No, no, no! Don't go return it, we can just pay the late fee. You can't go out, okay? Please, just don't. I'll go return it later. Okay? No, you can't! You hear? What're you doing out here? I need you on cleaning duty. Right. Here for bill collection. What did Suzuki San do before coming here? People who end up at places like this have their reasons. It'd be wise to not pry too much. I'm not prying or anything, but as the manager, I should... What's with the rubber bands? An inmate in a Tokyo prison put 11 rubber bands around his neck and managed to commit suicide, so I wondered if that's possible. Turns out it kinda works. Oh yeah, you could die. You okay? Yeah. This is intense. We're done filming, thank you. - Thank you. - Thanks. Kim, they're done on floor 2, so grab some guys and clean up. Miyu. What? Porn wasn't... your first time, was it? First what? First time having sex. No, of course not. Someone you liked? Yeah. Glad to hear that. But he died in the tsunami. We're leaving, Azusa. Okay. See you. Maybe I'll come again. No, don't come. We're staying overnight, right? Yeah, choose any room. Any room, really? The cheapest is fine. Okay. Al this hour, we'd have to add the daytime fee, too. What do you mean? If checking in before 11 PM we charge both the daytime and overnight fee. What a rip off. What're you doing? It's my first bed in so long! Feels nice and soft. You stink. I haven't bathed in over a week. Huh? Are you homeless or something? When I have money, I get a room. When you don't? Shall I pay first? It's okay, you already paid for food and hotel. But that doesn't include sex. Are you a saint? Most guys usually expect sex. One time, a guy expected sex for buying me lunch. Bunch of assholes. Right, bunch of assholes. Anyway, you should take a bath. Okay. Wow, a jacuzzi! Hello? How is it? Nabbed a high schooler. Underage fetches top money. Make her fall for you. Leave it to me, I'll reel her in. You better. Yes, sir, I will. May I come in? Hello, I'm Ilia. Wait, sir... Sir... No, wait, sir... Wait a second. Sir, wait, at least let me call in. Otherwise they'll worry and come here. Then hurry and call. Yes. This is Ilia, please bring the change. Change? It's 20,000 yen, right? I don't need change. Oh... Oh, right! That's right! You okay in the head? Sir, let's take a shower. Forget that, let's do drugs. Sir, just calm down. Dangerous client, bring the key. Ilia? Ilia? Ilia. Who're you? You okay? You okay? Who the hell? Don't do this. What the hell are you doing? - Not yakuza, are you? - I'm sorry. I hand out flyers. So you're a loser. I was a real estate broker, but I didn't accept voluntary retirement, so they tried to force me to quit by making me hand out 2,000 flyers a day. I don't care. When I did that, they made me do 3,000. They know it's impossible. They want to make me quit, and I want to quit. But my kid's still in high school. I need to send him to college. Then stay away from drugs. Some people kill themselves. If you won't use drugs... I'll stay. I hope you cheer up. Thanks. Can I see you again? Were you okay? You're kind. I fell bad for him. Dangerous work. Yours, too. Not like I want to do this. I wanna work front desk at a top hotel. I actually want to open my own boutique store, too. Thanks. Take care. Hey, no, no, no! Can't I just have one? I always wanted to eat all the nuggets myself. All the nuggets? Before, I only ate my sister's leftovers. Why? My mother remarried, and I was like the third wheel. She pandered to my new father. Once she had his kid, she completely ignored me. She didn't feed me, so I ate leftover rice in the wee hours. I felt like a ghost. Are you serious? Yeah, she didn't even take me on family trips. You don't have to believe me. So you ran away from that. I abandoned her. I stopped going home and started staying out with friends. Not really friends, but just people to hang out with. One day I came home late at night, and my mother said to me, "Would you please just die?" No way, I just couldn't take it anymore. There's a threshold for how much we can endure. So I packed my stuff and left. You see... Because I was told to die, I refuse to. I'll sell my body if I have to, I'm gonna survive no matter what. Aren't we doing it? No, we're not. Then what's that on my back? The body has its own ideas. You know, I've never done it with someone I like. My first was with an old bald guy. I see. I want to. Thank you. What happened to work? Enjoying yourself? Don't be stupid. This is work. So flirting with girls is part of your job? Seeing you grinning makes me want to puke. Are you getting jealous? You must be joking. Well, cut it out. You'll eat, right? Hey, aren't you going to take my order? Leave it to me. Fine, then. Reminds me of when we met. Just like now, you were quietly eating the kimchi meatloaf I made. Was I? Yeah. You ate it and told me it was like your mom's cooking. Oh, I remember. You cook so well, I'm sure your restaurant will do well. So good luck. But not Korean food. What? My restaurant... will serve soba and sake. You can make soba? It'll take time. So you'll have to work extra hard. Hena. Are we... breaking up? Don't talk about that. Yeah, this really is good. Your meatloaf really is the best. Want some? It's all yours. Delicious. It's so delicious... So delicious. It really is delicious. Sorry. Welcome. Please press the button to select your room, then receive your key at the front desk. Resting or staying overnight? Overnight. Overnight is 14,000 yen, plus day fee of 5,800 yen. Really? That's the rule. So expensive. 200 yen is your change. The girl's no good, she's not sexy and she's loose down there. Seriously, and she mentioned her dad is a cop, too. Don't tell me you fell for her sob stories. Where are you? The bathroom. Bet she's already stolen your stuff and left. What? First time? Never done this? Not for this reason. No one here. Oh, an employee. "What are you doing here?" Not throwing it? Well, I just bought this phone. Tired? Hey there. Thank you. You can finish early. No, I'll stay to the end. You're a trooper. It's my last day. What will you do in Korea? I want to open a store with my mother. - With your mother? - Yes. Mom endured a lot of hardships for me. Dad died in a car accident when I was only two. After that, Mom raised me all by herself. She sold clothes at a market until the morning. It was tough on her. I'm going home to return the favor. How old is she? 57 years old. If my mom was alive, she'd be the same age. She passed away? Two years ago, breast cancer. I was a troublemaker, a constant headache for her. Kept getting mixed up with the police. Mom apologized for me every time. Now I feel horrible about it. Maybe I'm not one to talk, but take care of your mother. I will. Say, Kubota San, did you come up with the name Juicy Fruits? There was a band named Juicy Fruits, and I liked the vocalist, Ilia. So that's where my name comes from. Hello, thank you for calling Juicy Fruits. We'll miss you. Thanks for everything. Marin, Claire, Lisa... Come visit me in Korea. Definitely. Promise. Promise! Do you eat spicy food? Yeah. Really? Let me guess, was it your sister? My sister's a por... It was my girlfriend. The phone. Front desk speaking. What? No hot water in the bath? I'm sorry, we'll send someone right away. Excuse me? Oh, sure, we'll bring one. Sorry about that. Room 311 has no hot water in the bath. Room 311? Hurry, go. You go instead. It's your job to deal with customer complaints, no? Please, go for me. And you call yourself a man? Wait, take a condom. The room was missing one. No hot water? Asshole. Ow, what the hell? Why aren't you angry? You're okay with me doing this? That's what you came here for. Who is he? Takenaka San from Planet Music Japan. Sleeping your way up? Why are you working here? I thought you were at Grand Pacific. You've been lying to me. I wasn't lying to you. After the tsunami I couldn't pay tuition. I graduated thanks to 1.4 million from your parents. How could I tell you I didn't get that job? Then return the money. You said we'd merge our finances anyway. Maybe not. Maybe I need to rethink marrying a whore. "Sorry, I was trying to turn you into a delivery girl." "But you made me want to go straight. I promise I'll be back!" Yes? If you're staying, you'll need to pay the overnight fee. Why? Your companion left. He'll be back. - But... - I promise he'll be back. Could you contact him, then? What? Call his cell. Don't have his number? I have his email, I'll email him. He's not coming back. Come to the front desk. Yes or no? We're here. Fine, we don't have to. You're leaving? Not like I'm desperate for girls. Nice shot. You suck. Watch and learn. "Hello dear I have to work overnight" "so please take Miki to day care tomorrow." Hey. Feel how hard I am. Your room's ready. Go ahead. Excuse me. Here. Oh, thank you. Oh, and this too. What's wrong? The cleaning lady... She looks familiar. She's not your neighbor, is she? If she is, we're in trouble. Darn, where have I seen her? What if we're caught? Hey, hey... I don't care anymore. So you can't pay up, huh? Maybe call the police. She doesn't even have an ID on her. She can't pay. If she doesn't pay, it comes out of my pocket. Why call the police? We'll make her parents pay. Do you really need the police? I feel bad for her. What, are you willing to pay what she owes? No, but... She won't tell us her address, she's a runaway. Hey! Let go of me! Let go of me! Hey! He's not coming back. He hasn't replied yet, right? You were tricked. Shut up! He said he's not doing that anymore. He tells that lie to everyone. Get your hands off me! What're you doing here? Ow... Let's go. He went and fought for her. What about you? They must be in round two. Take it easy. I have to go. Does your husband do this to you, too? No, he won't even lay a finger on me. Sergeant Fujita must be asleep with your kid now. Don't... You're a naughty wife, leaving the kid to your husband. Don't... Let's get married. You're a liar. What if I'm serious? I'm not in the elite like you are. Bull always wanted to be a detective. And? And now... I've finally become a detective, and my career is on track. All I can think about now is work. You sure? I can't think straight anymore. That was amazing. I remember. That cleaning lady... Which case was it? Here it is. "In 1998, a restaurant chef, Shigehiko Kashiwagi," "was struck by his employee, Yasuo Ikezawa, with a frying pan," "and had his proceeds stolen." "Ikezawa fled the scene and remains missing." "Kashiwagi's wife Kiriko is also a suspect and has disappeared as well." "The two are wanted on robbery charges." Did the victim die? No, but his right side was paralyzed and he's confined to a wheelchair. Robbery, and aiding and abetting. If that's Kiriko Kashiwagi, Ikezawa must be with her. Wow, this is a huge breakthrough! I'm glad I remembered! I was just going through expiring cases. Expiring cases? The statute of limitations expires... tomorrow? No, it's today! Better call the station. Wait, stop! How will we explain this situation? If they find out about us, you may have to quit. Word will spread quickly. So only I suffer? I guess your post is safe. It'll be bad for me, too. But your wife's the daughter of the deputy director. You may have to get a divorce, too. Fine. Then you leave first. I'll report this after you leave. Look! Someone was killed! Silly, she was just on her period. So dark. Apparently it was a murder. Where? The hotel next door. It's a mess with police and ambulances. Our customers can't come and go with all that tape. Suzuki San, could you man the front desk? Sure. Hey, you can't go in, stay back! Okay, okay. Looks awful. Who was killed? That streetwalker. A price dispute with a customer... led to the killing, apparently. I see. I see. Boy, today was so exhausting. I had a really terrible client come. Have a seat. Sorry, I'm sure you don't want to hear me complain. You're done with work, right? Wanna come over? Maybe not... tonight. Oh, why? Oh right, sorry... I haven't been giving you spending money lately. What's wrong? Take it. I just... can't do this tonight. Do you hate me now? Why are you still here? I got kind of hungry... Let's order some sushi. Hello. I'm going to miss you. Going to room 310. Go ahead. It's my last day. Last day? I'm going home to Korea. Here, I want you to have this. Wait. May I open it? You'll work at a top hotel, right? Right... Then you'll need a bow tie. I might be back of house. Wrong gift, then? Good luck. Hena. Thanks. I plan to forget everything that happened here, too. Goodbye. Later. May I come in? It's open. I'm coming in. Hello, I'm Ilia, nice to meet... Don't turn the light on. But... Leave it off. Okay. I need to call the office first. Sir, would you like a one-hour or two-hour session? It's up to you. A two-hour session, then? Sure. Great. I'm here, it'll be a two-hour session. Yes, got it. Would you wear that eye mask? I don't like being seen. This? Okay. Will you give me the body shampoo? Not easy washing you without seeing you. Let me wash you. Is it you, Chong-su? So you knew. Yeah. Wash me. Wash me. Make my body clean. Maybe it won't come off... but wash me. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We'll call it even. I was sleeping with a Japanese woman for money on the side. Now hit me. Hit me, too. Hit me! Here's your sushi delivery. How much? Please pay when you check out. It's Kiriko Kashiwagi. - No! - Kiriko Kashiwagi. You're under arrest. What's going on? Are you really police? Those handcuffs are fake, but we need to talk to you. Where's Yasuo Ikezawa? I don't know. Don't lie to me. I'm not lying, we broke up ten years ago. No way for me to know. Why should I trust you? It's been 15 years since that day. Staying together would be stranger. You of all people should understand that. What do you mean? The man on your cell phone wallpaper isn't this detective here, is it? So cops have affairs, too! You had an affair with Ikezawa. No, I didn't. Then why run away with him? We both knew we were drawn to each other. He was an apprentice chef, and I was the chef's wife. We honestly didn't have a physical relationship. When my husband got drunk, he used to get violent and hit me. The restaurant itself... was renovated from a restaurant that my father had operated. I was the owner. My father put in all the money. My husband had a complex about it. He would drink and then hit me... Ikezawa sympathized with me. He always offered some kind words to me. But he stole your proceeds. I suggested we take the money and run. That makes you an accomplice. That's right, I'm just as guilty as he is. She won't talk, she wins as long as she keeps silent for 20 hours. That's it, I'm taking her in. Stand up. I'm taking you no matter what. Fine. But first I need to go to the restroom, okay? Please, pick up! Yasuo, get out of there, hurry! A cop came here as a customer and I got caught. Sorry, but don't mention that I was here. You're fleeing? Or your family will fall apart and you won't be a detective anymore. They've been hiding for 15 years. It's like being imprisoned. They've already atoned, let them go. A crime is a crime. What we did may be a crime to our families. Those are our civil affairs, not the police's problem. You're impossible, we're finished. Wait... But I'm a detective. Don't worry about me, I'm sure I'll be out in two years. So wait for me. In two years, come pick me up at prison. Open up! We'll be okay. What're you doing? Hurry and open up! Where's Suzuki San? Last I saw, she was delivering sushi. Wasn't that a while ago? Room 405, right? I'll go check on her. Hello, front desk. Mind coming up? Is something wrong? Just come up, hurry. Alright Betty, time for a walk. Like you're digging deep. Sir? You're becoming the earth... You can't do this. C'mon, I bet you enjoy this. C'mon, look at her. Look at me. Her name's Betty. Bet he's got a nice, big weenie. Look at me... Please, look at me... C'mon buddy, look at Betty. Morons. What the hell! You morons. Why don't you stop fucking around? Weren't you taught to not bother others? Say something, dammit. Hey, man! Why don't you shut up? Don't hit us, we're just pretending! Pretend in the damn room! Manager, what're you doing? Shut the hell up! I don't care! I'm gonna quit this damn place! You listen. I'm gonna get a job at a nice hotel. Then I'll pay you back. And I'll find me a better girl! Hey! What's wrong? Suzuki San? I'm running away! Need a bike? I do! I do! Thanks! Get on! Get on! Hurry! Just get on, hurry! Where are we going? Away! Where? Away from here! Not like I wanted to do it. What's the big deal? I get my record deal. This matters to you? You're so petty. Let's go. Hey, where are you going? Home to Shiogama. Hey, should I wait for you? I'll be waiting. "Don't turn the light on" "Because the moonlight" "ls already lighting you" What? You washed my uniform? It's on your bed. Where d'you get this shiner? Some kid at the park. You got him back? Good. [Inhales] Where d'you get the girl make up? Andrew's sister. She used to tell us about that .... Kid from the Burger Palace. He got his face bashed in so bad in Juvie, he couldn't talk for a month. It's why he's got the weird scar. Hm. I saw the kid that stabbed a guy like two months ago. Well, I guess it's best you sat out there then, uh? Hey. You gotta do better. The qualification for nationals is in two weeks. Good. Hey, we need the video camera [knock] Yeah Lance get some clothes on. -Just open the door? [TV anime] You're grounded? You come out? My brother's takin us to the track. Hey man, where's your mom? -Shit, I don't know. So you wanna come or... -I said I don't wanna fucking go, now take the camera. Jesus. [Heavy metal] [roaring engine] [Radio off] Alright, I'm gonna be right back here to pick you up, okay? [Incoming car, doors open] [Dog barking] [Knock] What 'you want Pam? I need to talk to you. It's important. So, I got offered a job, a couple days ago in Houston. And I've been giving it a lot of thought. And I'm gonna take it. You remember how much we all wanted to get out of here when we were kids? ANd you guys always had Galveston. So Wes' lawyer told me that you missed counseling. So what she's advising me about is.... In Wes' best interest. That he come with me to Houston. Get out' my house. Get out! Get out! Wait, Hollis. Jacob's gonna end up in Juvie and you know it, and then what? Wes too? Next time you come back over here, you'll be bringing him home. I just want what's best for him. Travis left 'cause you didn't want kids. You never wanted kids, Pam. Why the hell 'you tryin'a take mine? Dad! [Door slam] [Phone calling tone] [Dialing] [Phone calling tone] "Hi you reached Pam -and Wes- leave us a message" Hey Wes, this is Jacob. Just call me back okay? [Roaring engines] Look at this jackass. You're gonna win this shit, man, the cat's in the bag. I heard about Robert Ramirez, you put some kid in the hospital yesterday, dude. He wasn't in the hospital but, I think he's messed up pretty bad. They took Robbie in handcuffs. -Shit. 'You seen it? Have you seen Wes lately? Nope. You got this, man. You'll win the whole race. I have to. [Door shut]. (Hollis) You've seen my belt? -No. Dam. [Searching drawers]. Found that nice tie mom got you? Yes, it's right here. I don't know how to tie it. She always did for me. - Know . Come here. Lift up your chin. Here you go. Here. It's good. [Distant whisper, quarrel] "I'm not dragging you in here with me". "You boys are...". "I'm not threatening you with anything, I'm trying to keep what...". (Man) "like you said there are children and I gotta keep every other weekend". [Door]. Come on. -What 'they say? Dad where's Wes? Jacob. We'll get him back. [Kids steps] Wes! What are you doing here? -Why you never call me back? What's that? -I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? -I don't know. Look, I'm gonna race next week. Alright? I'm gonna win for you and dad, whole town's gonna see it. Okay. -I need you to be there, okay? You gotta tell Pam. Wes? [Ring] Let me go. Hey mom's still at her bridge club, you wanna come in for a cold one. (Hollis) I gotta get back. Everything's gonna work out just fine, man. What 'you worried about. Yeah. Put some clothes on. You scaring the kids. You alright with riding this one? Well, come on, get in. [Roaring engines]. (Speaker) "If you're just pulling in at the front gate you can tune in at 87.5 on your fm radio". "For today's voice action". [Loud roar]. "...just now finished race number 2. We got race number 3 loading in the gate. "Open amateur class for 85cc and larger bikes". Everyone's trying to earn their way to the Texas amateur all-star amateur nationals. Top 12 go every year, and today is qualifying race. Race number 3 at the starting line. Right now .... Yeah Jacob. Jacob wooo. The 45 are about to enter the first turn here at cow-boy Badlands MX park. Again the top 12 qualify for the Texas amateur all-star. Jacob Wilson now starts to put up a little bit of pressure running up front. Jacob. Gary Owens also appears.... Couple of laps in, here we go with Gary Owens, Jacob Wilson and Jason.... Come on. All three of them. And Jacob Wilson now takes over the lead.... Good, good. While Gary Owens is on his track. Owen makes the pass, puts Jacob Wilson over the berm. [Kick start -engine not starting] [Not starting] [Starts]. Is Wes here? No. Come on. Hey, you were great. Okay. Anything else I can get you boys? Ith that's it, thank you. -You're welcome. And a coke. -Yeah sure. Here you go. Your mom would be real proud of you. Proud of a reject Juvie kid? Close your mouth when you eat. Very nice. -Hyder. So? How is school boys? -I hate school. It's fine. This whole thing's a joke. Dad of the fuckin year over here. Not here. -Why not uh? Everyone knows CPS took your kid. Whole town knows. Shut your mouth now. -They don't know about Galveston. That's enough. -He fucking left us. Stop. -Don't tell me what to do. It wasn't my responsibility to take care of everything. Take care of Wes while you boozed up down there. Alright, come on. 3 weeks dad, 3 whole weeks you were gone. Admit it, you wanna drink yourself to death. Cause when Duncan found you, you were gonna leave us for good, weren't you? Let's go. -We're not leaving. Enough now. -Now what are we supposed to do uh? How are we supposed to get him back? This is all your fault, this whole thing is your fault. You wanna play that game, you really wanna go there? Take a hard look at yourself, son. Come on, let's go. Get your hands off me. Don't touch me. Fuck all of you. Come on. I left money on the table. I'm sorry about this. [Engine off]. [Door, opens and slams]. [Engine off]. [Song: D-WHY -2000 Miles] (Pam)  one of these .... [Packing tape]. [Bang]. Get another one. Get it. [Bang]. Nice one. Let me see that thing. -No, you'll burn yourself. Come on, give me... -Stop. Hyder, stop. -Would you give me the friggin lighter. Jacob let me do it. Don't hit anyone, Hyder. D'you shut up. The retard's gonna hit his own face. Shut up you asshole. -Holy shit no more house arrest. Gimme the bat, let me show you how it is done. Alright. Hold that for me. Fuck you. Stop being such a little bitch. -Lance stop motherfucker, quit it. Obviously it's you. -Fuck you. Come on don't be a pussy just hold... -Stop lance this isn't funny. Get it away from me. -Stop lance. Fuck you. The fuck is he doing? What the hell? Cut it out man. Jacob What are you doing? Stop Jacob. -Leave me alone . Can you stop? -Fuckin go away. Stop. -Fucking go away. Get the fuck off me. The fuck. Get the fuck off me. -Get off of Jacob. Get off him. I was supposed to protect him. She's taking him to houston. Fuck that bitch. Come on, man, get up. Let's get outa here. [TV baseball game]. You finished? Yeah. Alright. I saw your probation report signed on your bed. Mr. Dominguez said that you'll be back at Barker sooner than you thought. I'm real proud o'you. 'You hear what I said? Yeah. What? I don't know, you just .... You look like her sitting there. We made a great team didn't we? The four of us. [Plate on kitchen table]. [Washing dishes]. [Jacob takes keys] [Lawn sprinklers]. Hey Wes, get up. Come on. What are you doing here? Hurry up, pack your things let's go. Why? We're leaving. What? Hurry up, get your shoes. Man, what's taking him so long. -I don't know. "In and out". -Shut up. Don't mess with that man. -Shut up. Lance knock it off. -Shh. Put it back. I can't go anywhere. It's not a choice, Wes. Grab your books. Hurry up, get your shoes. Hey where's your jacket, the really good jacket? Holly shit. Lance. Cut it out roger. Roger, put it back. What? The fuck was that? I'm going up there. You stay down here. -Stay down. Quiet. -Don't fuck up come on. Where the fuck did you get that? Your dad's house. Go, go. She's asleep. [Bang]. Drop the bat. -Lance. Sit the fuck down. -What the hell are you doing, lance? Put that gun down. -Are you okay, man. Oh shit Hyder. -Is he okay, roger? Well, I hope he's okay, bitch. -Just put the gun down please. This bitch hit Hyder. -No I didn't know it was him. Where the hell 'd'you get a gun? Stop talking. -Lance. What are you doing? -She's gonna call the cops, man, we're all going to Juvie. I'm not calling anybody. -Sit the fuck down. Jacob. -Lance, chill out. Shut the hell up, sit back. Lance I got it chill out. Okay. What are you doing. -I'm sorry. [Muffled] What are you doing, Jacob stop. Stop that, stop fighting him. Quit moving, quit moving. Quit moving, lay the fuck down. It's okay, it's okay. What are you doing? You think it's okay what you did? You gonna wake the fuckin neighbors. Lance! You're a fucking bitch, breaking a perfectly good family. -Cut it out, man. - ...outa here, I don't feel good. Just chill out. -Get the fuck over there. Let it go. -You're breaking a family. You have a clue how fucked up that is? Do you? Why don't I shoot you now uh? We're fucking leaving. -You think you're so tough? Lance, stop. -Please. You fucking bitch. -Lance, hey. Calm down. Get off me. Lance. -Get off me. Get off of him. [Bang]. Shit! Get up, cops are coming. Let's go. [Phone : Pam calling]. What's going on? Wow, hey, say that again? Pam! [Handcuffs]. What the hell happened? -It wasn't Jacob's fault. He was trying to protect everybody, and lance was just .... I got the boy off to the town hospital, he's gonna be fine. You have any I'd where these boys might have gone? I don't know. The detectives out there want you both to come at the station. Are you kidding me Walter? My kids are out there, scared and alone, I'm not going to any of your dam station. When they find them, they're bringing them in. What's he doing? -He's just staring at me. Let's go. [Hangs up the gas pipe] Hyder, hey, stop. Stop. Hey, Hyder. Stop, where are Wes and Jacob? Uh? Where are they? The beach. [Cicadas]. Hey, how long? Has to be about at least 30mn before it gets back over here. Okay, we'll be back. Let's go. You remember when mom used to take us here to wait? We start over in Galveston. Just like she wanted. It will be like .... The Swiss family Wilson or something. I'll take care of you, okay? Come here. Walk in on the left boys. [Boat engine]. Are you OK? Yeah. Hey, 'see 2 boys get on... -Get on, you need to get on. 2 boys 10 and 13? -You need to get on. 2 boys 10 and 13, did they go on. -Yes, they're on there somewhere. Wes. Jacob. Wes. Jacob. Wes. You alright? Uh? Are you OK? I got you. I got you. Are you OK? Come here. It's okay, shhh. -I'm sorry. I screwed up, me. I never should have left you boys. [Engine speed up]. Look at me. Look at me. I love you more than anything. You understand me? Everything is going to be okay. Wes, let me out I feel sick. You're okay? Stay with dad, okay? Stay with him, understand? Promise me you'll take care of him. Alright boys, come on. RESYNC BY : EVERYAGENT - Jacob, wait up. - Whoo! - Whoo! Whoo! - Watch this, guys. - Let it burn! - Whoo! - Go, go! - Hey! Hey, get over here! - Fuck! - Jacob! Jacob! - We're talking in-school suspension this time. Six months at Rollins. Sheriff Armstrong said if you cooperate, he might consider... - I was the only one. - Don't bullshit me. - I don't rat out my crew. - Look at me. You almost dragged your brother into all this. Is that what you wanted? Take responsibility, Jacob. All right. - It's gone. - Fucking asshole. - Jacob. - Hey, let go! Hey! - Jacob. Jacob! - No... - Stop it now. Step back, Jacob. - How the hell am I supposed to ride? - By getting your act together, that's how. - Mom gave it to me. God. I hate you. I hate you so fucking much! What the fuck you looking at? - ♪ But now I'm all on my own ♪ ♪ Everywhere to be, got no place to go ♪ ♪ Lost in translation ♪ ♪ Left here to roam alone ♪ ♪ 2,000 miles... ♪ - Look, I didn't mean to push you like that. - ♪ DA, DA, DA, DA ♪ ♪ DA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA ♪ ♪ 2,000 miles from home ♪ ♪ DA, DA, DA, DA ♪ ♪ DA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA ♪ ♪ 2,000 miles from home ♪ all - I will take ownership of my actions and the consequences of those actions. - Again. All - I will take ownership of my actions and the consequences of those actions. - You got to something to say, son? We're all ears. This being your first week, I'm gonna cut you some slack, all right? 'Cause, son, you got it easy on this side of the fence. Do you understand? You get to go home at night, sleep in your warm, snuggly bed. But you best start giving a damn, or else you'll wind up over there, in juvie, playing with the big boys. And you sure as hell ain't going home to your mommy and daddy. You will be locked up, crying and pissing yourself to sleep every night. On the ground. Give me 50. Now! Again. All - I will take ownership of my actions and the consequences of those actions. - Again. All - I will take ownership of my actions and the consequences of those actions. - Devastation these furious storms are capable of unleashing. Living in southeast Texas, it's important we get prepared, because hurricane season is here. What will the next one bring? It's not a matter of "if" but "when." - Come on. Let's go. Get in your bed. Okay. Hey, go back to sleep, all right? - Triple Ds. Holy shit. Dude, I'd give her the D. Like that, Wes? - Hey, put that shit away. - It's all good. - Hey, he's my fucking brother. Get up. Go on home. - I want to stay with you guys. - I said no. Go. - Hear about that kid Ray Martin, got stabbed in juvie last year? He fucking died, man. - Who's next? - Me. Go home. - Sorry, little man. - Let me have some. - Get your own bag! - He's gotten way faster. - Hell, yeah. - Fuck, yeah, he has. You should totally race again. - Yeah, I know. - Holy shit. Look. Lauren Landon. - Ah, man, look at that. Damn, girl! - Lauren Landon... - God dang. The things I would do to that. - You gonna talk to her or what? - I don't know. - Show us your tits! - What the fuck, Lance? - You stupid idiot. - It's all good. - Seriously? - They're leaving. Great going. - Come on. Don't be like this. Come back. - Fucking idiot, dude. - Hold on one second. - Well, well, well. - Hey. - Hi, honey. What are you troublemakers up to? - Just hanging out. - Yeah? Hanging out? - That's all we're doing. I swear. - Where's your dad? Fuck if I know. - You know, you're getting yourself quite a reputation around here. - Come on, Jacob. - Hey, Jacob. - All right, whatever. - Shoot. Your aunt's hot. - Shut up. - It's his aunt. - ♪ I want to go home ♪ ♪ Go home ♪ ♪ But now I'm all on my own ♪ ♪ Everywhere to be ♪ ♪ Got no place to go ♪ ♪ Lost in... ♪ - Get over here and sit down. - I'm not hungry. - Well, you're gonna eat something. Don't make me get up out of this chair. - ♪ DA, DA, DA, DA ♪ ♪ DA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA ♪ ♪ 2,000 miles from home ♪ ♪ DA, DA, DA, DA ♪ ♪ DA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA ♪ ♪ 2,000 miles from home ♪ - Here. Fill up. - Dad was out in Galveston today. - Wes. I'm taking another crack at the place. - God destroyed it for a reason. - We're gonna move there. - Wes, eat your dinner. - I'm not moving there. - Sit down! - Dick. - What was that? - How many times are you gonna play that stupid song? - Leave your brother alone. Wes, come on. Sit up. - ♪ I open my eyes ♪ ♪ I'm 30 miles from Oklahoma ♪ ♪ I'm so far from West Virginia ♪ ♪ I have dreams of Barcelona ♪ ♪ Memories of growing up ♪ - Hey, Wes, get up. Come on. Wes, let's go. - Hurry up. All right, let's go. It's all you. Look, you're the one who wanted to be part of the crew. - He ain't gonna do it. - Shut up. - Holy shit, he did it. - Shit. - Come on! Come on! Come on! - Wes, we got to go. - Hey! Hey, get over here! - Jacob! - Let's go, Wes! Come on! Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. - Come on! Pick it up! - Stop! I'm calling the cops, kid! - Let's grab the bike, man. - Look, you can't tell anyone. Okay? No one. It's okay. I swear. I won't let anything happen to you. Hey. You did good, all right? All right, stop crying and go to sleep. - Jacob... What if we really went to Galveston like Mom wanted? - I'm not going anywhere. - Would you like to try our new Quiet Burger? - No, thanks, Ted. I'll just have an order of Crazy Fries. - Hey, you want ham or peanut butter? - Ham. - Watch out. There's enough rat poison in this dipped cone to kill a neo... - Uh... I was thinking once she's dead, we could put her body in the... you know, just like on that one episode of... - I want some. - You asked for ham. - God! Now we'll never know which episode it'll be like! - Uh, can I help you? - Yes. My wife... - Whoo! - ♪ Battery ♪ ♪ Crushing all deceivers ♪ ♪ Mashing nonbelievers ♪ ♪ Never-ending potency ♪ - Ah! - ♪ Hungry violent seeker ♪ ♪ Feeding off the weaker ♪ ♪ Breeding on insanity ♪ ♪ Smashing through the boundaries ♪ - Who is it? - ♪ Cannot stop the battery ♪ ♪ Pounding out aggression ♪ ♪ Turns into obsession ♪ ♪ Cannot kill the battery ♪ - Hi, boys. I'm Mrs. Roberts, and this is Officer Gardner. How are you doing? - This yours? - No. - Well, how about I leave it here just in case it is? - Whatever. - Is your dad home, boys? - Why y'all here? - Let's go inside. Come on. - What do you want? - It's all right. - Look, I told you y'all can't be here, okay? Look, my dad will be back later. You can just... you can come back then. - Can I talk to you for a second? Let's go in here. Come on. Come on. - You can't do this! - No! - Wes, come on... - We're not gonna... - Jacob! - Where is my brother going? - Wait, you can't... - Jacob... - I need you... I need you to get in... - Son, get in the car. - I need you to get in the car. - Jacob, get in the car. - No! No! - Come on, Jacob. Okay. - Come on. It's gonna be... - It's all right. Let him go. - No! Let me stay! No! - Pam! Open up! - Where is he? - Calm down. - Wes! Get down here. - Hollis, he's asleep. - What the hell you think you're doing? - You think this was my idea? CPS just dumped him on me. - And you need to start getting your shit together. I can't keep playing babysitter for you. - I can take care of my boys. - I'm just taking Wes for a little while, that's all. - I can take care of my kids. - Really? Can you? Rebecca would be so heartbroken, and you know it. She loved those boys way too much to see you abandon them the way you did. - You told them? That's what this is about? You told that caseworker? - Back up. Back up, Hollis. I didn't say a damn word. Just calm down. - ♪ Tearing out of a violent mind ♪ ♪ It's these evil ways that will change our times ♪ ♪ Militance to opposing thought ♪ ♪ Weapons breaking through ♪ - What did they say? - Go to bed. - When's he coming back? - Go to bed, Jacob! - ♪ Tell me, oh, mountain ♪ ♪ What secrets do you hold ♪ ♪ Buried deep beneath the earth ♪ ♪ In hidden walls of stone ♪ - Come on. - ♪ If ever a man in all his days ♪ ♪ Climbed your mighty slopes ♪ ♪ To behold the gods as they danced ♪ ♪ And listen as they spoke ♪ - Hollis. I ain't troubling no one. - Your neighbors are complaining again. You got to turn that music down and go back inside, son. - It's a free country. I can do what I want. - Come on, man. Don't cause any more trouble. We don't want to bring you in again if we don't have to. Was it you? Huh? Fucking no-good coward. Hey, you got something to say to me, Harold? You say it to my face! - Hollis! Hollis. Hollis, that's enough. That's enough. Go in the house and sleep this off. Come on. Let's go. - Let's go. Come on. - Get your hands off of me! - Come on. - No. - Come on. - Get your hands off me! I'm going. I'm going. - ♪ Tell me, oh, mountain ♪ ♪ What secrets do you hold ♪ ♪ Shrouded on your misty peaks ♪ ♪ Or deep within your bones ♪ - My coworker had it. Sorry about that. Now... you know I can't be letting a ten-year-old boy go unsupervised like you've been doing. And trust me, a 13-year-old kid on probation is not our idea of a good caretaker. Now... The judge has allowed you to keep Jacob. But you've got to go to the court-appointed counselor once a week, make every single court date... And stop drinking. We'll give it a month and revisit the situation. You're just lucky that Judge Bradley's a big baseball fan. Said he went to all your games. Look, I know that you and your family have been through a hard time. And seems to me that you could use a little help. So you look to me and your sister-in-law, because we're just trying to help you out. You understand? Hollis? - This is just temporary. You know that. It's not like last time, okay? Hey, you been practicing your moves? Mm. You're better than me. All right, come here. Give me a hug. You be good. All right? - Okay. - What? What are you laughing at? - Go to bed. - Aunt Pam? Aunt Pam? - You okay? - Can you sit in here until I fall asleep? - Yeah, of course. You want me to read you a story? Or I could actually... I could make one up. - You can just sit in that chair. - So we meet again. - Your challenge is acceptable. Prepare for battle. - I want to come home. - Hey, turn it down, man. - You turn it down. - I want to come home. - Move. You there? - Uh-huh. - Do you remember when Carmichael won 24 motos? Like, before you were even born? And, like, after he hurt his knee, he won all 24 again? - Yeah. - He's like an American hero, you know? I mean, who doesn't respect that guy? - Wes... Bookstore's closing soon. - I got to go. - Wes? - What? - I'm gonna make it right, okay? - Okay. - Who's that? - Jacob. - All right, kid, come on. - You know, Ricky just has the drive to win. He wasn't afraid of the work. He always trained harder than anyone else. - He's a role model to young ones. He shows them that, you know, you get out of life whatever you put into it. - I mean, ten titles in a motocross class... that's crazy. - Every time he goes out there, he's thinking about nothing else but crossing that finish line first, and he does. - The big difference between Ricky and all... - Yeah, Jacob! - Awesome! - Whoa, nice little jump. - Yeah. - Whoo. - Dude, this is gonna be awesome. - Hell, yeah. - ♪ She wore a cloak of feathers ♪ - Here he goes. - Yeah! Yeah, Jacob! - Fuck. - Jacob! - Jacob! You all right, man? Dude, take the helmet off. Dude, you hit that corner way too fast. - Yeah, no shit. - Shut up. - Come on. Get up. Get up. I'm going again. - Are you sure? - Yeah, I just fucking... I turned too quick. - So, uh, talk to Lauren yet? - Yeah, I talked to her yesterday. - So what'd she say? - I don't know. - Y'all dating? - Yeah. - Since when? - Since yesterday. - Where'd you guys go? - We really didn't go anywhere. Went to her house, but... - What do you mean, nowhere? - It's... nowhere. - Wait. So you haven't been on a real date yet, but you're dating? - Yes, it's been one day. How can we go anywhere? - You're not dating her, then. - I went to her house and... - That's not dating. - Have you gotten anywhere yet? - No. - I would have dug in the first 20 minutes. - Shut up, man. - Dude. - Anyway, she invited me to a skate party Saturday night. - It's a rich kids' party. - Yeah. - Oh, yeah. - This is nice. Like it? - Yeah. - What is this? 250? - Yes. - How much? - Way too much. That's how much. - I like it. - My mom's making chocolate cake tonight for Tim's birthday, if anyone wants to come over. - I can't. My parents want to have some bullshit big talk. That sucks. - I thought that Tim and your mom broke up. - She took him back. Fucking dick. Treats her like crap. Remember that one time when your mom kicked him out of the house? Mmm-mwah! Jimmy, come on! What just happened? ALAN DAVIES AS YET UNTITLED CTO M725W/82 BF000000 Looking forward to lots of chat and listening, I'm very good at nodding sagely. I don't know if you can tell from my outfit but my favourite colour's blue. Hello, thank you. This is me, this is my room. Where's my chocolate? I know you've eaten it. I don't know where it is. Oh, it's here. Hello, I'm Alan Davies and this is As Yet Untitled. We will be having a conversation, I don't know what we're talking about, I don't have any prepared questions, no-one's here to plug anything, they're just going to come on and have a chat and then at some point during the conversation, we will stumble upon the title for tonight's show. So, without further ado, please will you welcome my guests? Here they are. They're a hand-picked crew. Now, I have Elis James who has been heckled by hip-hop legend Grandmaster Flash. Yeah. Worth hearing about that. Roisin Conaty, who has a stressful relationship with creamed spinach and belted out an Elton John medley in a meditation retreat and that's a true story. Rob Delaney is here which is fantastic. Rob Delaney, who once went to Slovakia by mistake and has been serenaded by Lionel Richie. Nice to have you here. And Ardal O'Hanlon, who took part in a bank robbery. It says here. I didn't do a bank robbery, I was in a bank when a robbery took place. Were you really? Yes, I was. A proper, an actual... Yes, yes. With clown masks and sawn-off... No, one fellow had a motorbike helmet and the other guy had a balaclava and the fellow with the balaclava has a sawn-off shotgun and... Is this in Dublin? This is in Dublin, it was a long time ago, about... It was probably the first time I was ever in a bank. I was lodging a very rare cheque in those days but it was actually a cheque for my first-ever acting job which was a crime reconstruction. That is a fact. That's a fact. We're in the bank and it's kind of buzzing, it's Friday afternoon, people are lodging their cheques, looking forward to the weekend, there's a really good atmosphere in the bank and it's crowded. # Money, money, money. # Yeah, and so these two guys burst in and you could see the guy in the motorbike helmet, he's really nervous and he has a wrench or something in his hand, he's a really crap bank robber and the other guy is doing all the shouting and he's really pumped up, the other guy, and he shouts for everyone to lie down on the floor and like, he calls us all scumbags. You know, I felt like pointing out the irony of that, but it's like... So, he goes, "Lie down, you scumbags", so everyone lies down and like, you know, you really are terrified in that situation and you don't know how you're going to react until it happens, so you kind of... like, I did let a little bit of wee out. But I was quite proud of myself, it was just a little bit. So, I'm lying down and there's two guys lying down beside me and, they're strangers and strangers to each other and I heard one guy saying to the other guy, he said, "Did anyone ever tell you you've got lovely eyes?" He said to the other guy! And I'm going, like, incred... They were laughing and I started kind of laughing in that kind of nervous, uncontrollable way on the floor and we're all kind of laughing and thinking, "This is a terrible thing to do, to undermine robbers," they don't like being undermined in that way and I admired them for doing it in the moment, I mean, you don't want anything to do with a person like that. You don't want that person in your life, you don't want to be married to that person. Were you wriggling away from them a bit? But it was amazing. You're so familiar with it from movies and stuff. And did they get away with loads of money? Yeah, they did. It was a big robbery, it was on the news and there was like, people talked about it for a few days. Have you been in a robbery, Rob? I haven't, but my mom was in a robbery. I was about ten years old and it was a sawn-off shotgun situation. It was like in a woman's handbag store in rural Massachusetts, I don't know why they chose to rob this place, but anyway, the police came with, you know, pictures of criminals that they wanted to show my mom and I'm ten years old and I'm thinking, "You know what? They say they're the cops but probably "they're the robbers who've come to finish the job and kill my mom". So, I put... At ten years old, I just stood sentinel throughout the whole time while they showed... And I had weapons all over my body, like, that a ten-year-old would find, like a pair of scissors, like a little hammer from my own little boy's tool kit and I was like, "If those guys who say they're cops try anything, "I will cut their hair." Is it true that you've been happy-slapped? Yes. I was in Tesco... You've made me look bad now and I'm actually a really cool guy. Do you have happy slapping in America? Don't know what it is. Well, when people started getting camera phones, with little... you know, you could record video, kids would go up to strangers and knock 'em - I don't know why I'm looking at you because I feel you might have done it to someone. I am not a happy slapper. And they would... LAUGHTER ..assault people and film it. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE Why was that wrong(? ) It took a while for the penny to drop for me on that one. Anyway, he'll tell you what happy slapping is. Well, yeah, I was in Tesco, I'd done some really great shopping and I was on the phone to my flatmate and I was like, "Have we got enough margarine?" And then, suddenly, I got whacked across my face, it knocked the phone out of my hand, and I couldn't understand what had happened, I thought someone had started on me. So, I sort of looked up and then there were four 14-year-old girls running away going, "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!", and I almost never lose my temper - I'm a very placid person - but I lost my rag, so I started chasing them, but I'd been shopping for like an hour, so I had loads of stuff, so I couldn't get up a decent amount of speed. But then as I was chasing them, which was more for show, really, I was thinking to myself, "I don't know what my options are, "cos if I catch them, what am I... I give them a talking-to? "That made me feel very...very unsettled". So I was running round with all this shopping, thinking, "What am I actually going to say?" And then I heard a lot of laughing from behind me and this girl's going, "What are you going to do, what are you going to do?" and I turned round - and this shows how slowly I was running - cos she was actually in a wheelchair... ..and she was going, "I know them, what are you going to do when you catch up with them?" And I was like, "Well, I haven't decided yet but I'm going to tell them I was very unsettled by their prank". So then I chased them round the big Tesco in Cardiff for about what felt like half an hour. It was like a sort of Benny Hill but, you know, meets 999. And then they left and then I got on with my shopping and then I went to the counter, I felt very...still a bit troubled and the lady behind the counter said, "Do you know them?" And I said, "Who?" And she pointed, and they were all by the window going, "Ha-ha-ha!". So, yeah, that's happy slapping, it's a really fun game. Did you ever see the little video they made of you? No, I didn't, Alan, not that I looked for it every day for about two years. But I turned like a sort of 1970s West Walian head teacher. I was saying things like, "Just you wait! "Just you wait! "I'm going to give you such a stern talking-to, "And I hope you're proud of yourself, "you've brought shame on yourself, your school, your family!", I was doing all of that, I was 23. You sound like Fireman Sam. "Great fires of London." "Naughty Norman Price." The nurse took one look at it, it was quite swollen and very, very shiny. You're going to have them until you die. Can you tell me about creamed spinach? What's your relationship with creamed spinach? I told a ridiculous lie for no reason. Most lies benefit someone... and it's one of those things, my ex-boyfriend's parents came round for dinner - I'm still very good friends with him, and I was very honest and I said, "Oh, no, I've just bought all this "from Marks', I'm going to put it all in the oven". I'm not a liar, normally! And they were like, "Oh, all right". And then as I served it up, everything I served up, my ex-boyfriend's mum said, "Oh, did you make this yourself?" And I said, "No, no, I didn't". And then I served another thing up, she said, "Did you make the carrots? This is lovely", and I went, "No, it's still Marks'. "Everything is still... It's all from Marks'". And the last thing I served up was creamed spinach and she went, "This is delicious, did you make this?" And it wound me up so much and I don't know why I said, "No, "my flatmate made it", which doesn't benefit me, doesn't make me look better, it's just sort of saying, "I know someone who cooks". And she was like, "Oh, that's lovely". My flatmate wasn't in and she was my best friend. So we have this dinner, all the while I'm going to the kitchen, texting my best friend and my flatmate going, "Please call me, "don't come back yet, you need to know how to cook creamed spinach". "Go learn how to cook it". And then she doesn't text back, she doesn't call me, and then I hear the keys in the door and genuinely, I get like perve-lip, you know when you sweat so much... I was terrified, she came in and was like, "Hey". I was like, "Hey, how you doing?" and she didn't even make eye contact with me, and she was like, "Hello, hello." And it was about five minutes, all of, like, talking like this and then my ex-boyfriend's mum went, "How did you make the creamed spinach?" And I was just like, "Oh, my God! This is..." And then without looking at me, she went, "Cream, black pepper..." And she'd done it, she'd googled it and wanted me to sweat it out and answered it, yeah, so she'd saved me. She really made me... It was one of those things that afterwards, she was like, "I can't understand why this happened! "I can't understand... You don't look good, I don't look good, "it's an insane lie!" Don't get me started on creamed spinach, I just love that stuff. Can you actually make it? Yeah. Don't pretend, there's no pretending on here. How do you make it? Cream, black pepper... I mean, I've got very high cholesterol but I have a great life. I actually... I actually do have high cholesterol. Has anyone else got high cholesterol? I've got high cholesterol. I don't even want to tell you this, this is so embarrassing. I was diagnosed with gout last week. Last week? Yeah, not last century, last week, which is incredible. I was... I'm in the whole of my health, I'm active, I'm active in the community. No, no, no, I mean I go to the wine shop and... ..and I come back, but I woke up in the middle of night with this excruciating pain in my ankle, and I really thought I'd broken my ankle but you don't normally break your ankle in bed when you're asleep, so I got up in the morning and it was like excruciating and I know no-one believes you when you talk about your own pain. Nobody cares, but I think you're nice people. And so I tried to walk on it next morning and I couldn't so I hobbled a little bit for the day and I had some stuff to do and that evening, I went to a clinic, the nurse took one look at it, it was quite swollen and very, very shiny and she just kind of looked at me with that kind of like, "Hmmm, is there any gout in your family?" And I went... and then it just struck me, "Oh, my God, yeah". So, apparently, that's what it is. What can you do about that? Don't know. They didn't give you any help with it at all? They didn't, really, it's just like one of those things they just kind of go, "Sorry, you know, bye-bye." Do you have to just change your lifestyle? I just have to live with gout. I mean, you don't eat a lot of red meat, you're not supposed to drink a lot of alcohol, I thought it was wine but it's beer, actually that's worse than wine and you don't... You're next. Even things like mushrooms and asparagus as well, so all the good stuff. It is a bit 16th century, Henry VIII, isn't it? It is a little, yeah. I know someone else who's got gout, maybe it's coming back. I think it is, I think it's a first world problem but it's hereditary as well, so it's not my fault. Any gout, Rob, in the Delaneys? Not that I'm aware of, no. But I had, in my vision recently, I saw some black spots and I went to the opthamologist and I said, "So, I'm sure this is "an easy fix, but I now see these black spots in my vision, "what can we do to knock these out?" And he's like, "Nothing, you just... "You're going to have them until you die". So they're just like, floaters and I see things now that aren't there. I see them right now. Do you really? Yeah, I don't like 'em but they're here so, you know... Are they peripheral? What'll happen is if I come over here to look at you they'll be like, "Whoo!" They'll get there a second later. Shut up. Yeah, I can still drive cos I haven't told the Registry of Motor Vehicles. Didn't you once fall asleep during a gig or something? Is that true? Yeah, that is absolutely true. I might be asleep now. No, I did. I genuinely... I was in Belfast, you would know the club, the Empire in Belfast. You know it as well. Paddy Kielty's place. Yeah, and it was a fantastic club in its day and really raucous, really, really lively and I remember, I had been up all night the night before and I was exhausted and I was on stage in front of a big crowd of people and I sort of drifted off and I remember hearing... You drifted off? Yes, I did and I heard somebody in what I thought was a distant room... ..doing my material, word for word, doing it really well, better than I could do it. You were thinking, "That guy's good." And I sort of went towards that room and I was going, "Who is this? "Why are they doing my stuff?" As I got closer, I realised it was actually me and that I was on stage doing it. It was sort of like an out-of-body experience and I remember just going, I'd better wake up now and you know, address the situation, And I kind of woke up then and I didn't know where I was in the set at that stage, I'd completely lost my way but the audience didn't seem to mind that much. They didn't know really, I didn't tell them either, you know, so then I was going on to Derry the next day, the city of Derry, so you'd do the two gigs together, Belfast and then Derry. And then Galway and then Cork. Yes, that's right, it was a little loop of Ireland. I did that with Barry. Yeah. Friend of Ardal's, he's an Irish comedian, he's very funny. He's funnier than Ardal but he was booked. So we went to Derry the next day, cos I was so shocked by this happening that I rang ahead - cos you used to stay in this lovely little place... "Can I have a bed on stage, please?" There's this lovely little BB in Derry we used to stay in and so I rang ahead to see, would the room be ready and could I have a little nap before the next gig so this wouldn't happen again. So I went along there and when I got there, there was a hot water bottle in my bed and I tried to go to sleep and the next thing, the man who owns the BB came into my room and he closed the curtains and then he tucked me in. I'd never experienced anything like that before, anywhere in any hostelry. And then when you woke up, was he next to you? He was very attentive. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, You say that was a lovely BB but that BB was famous for the bloke not wanting.... First of all, you weren't supposed to come home drunk which is virtually impossible after a gig in Derry. Yeah. And he didn't want you to bring anyone back to his BB. Yeah, that's right. So he waited up. He waited up. You didn't have keys. No, he had to let you in. He only wanted to tuck one person in at a time That's so charming and lovely, though. Well, it is a bit strange as well. And he used to get up in the morning to do your breakfast so he never went to sleep himself, he was....he was a really strange guy. So did you think, "I was tired and I nodded off" or did you think you'd had an out-of-body experience, whatever that is? You know, I'm pretty sure I was asleep but my eyes were probably open and my mouth was still talking and it kind of... It knew the set that I was doing. Cos it is like that when you're doing a gig, isn't it? Sometimes, you're talking but you're thinking about completely other things. Or the second gig in a night, you can be saying something and you're like, "Wait, did I say that in the first gig or did I say it earlier in this gig to right now and people are going to think I'm an idiot?" You do something that you think is a call-back to something earlier and there's this horrible silence and you realise you said it in the 8 o'clock show. "Oh, if only that crowd were still here!" It's like if you get heckled from someone on the front row and the rest of the audience can't hear it. Have you ever had that? That kills. Cos the audience is like, "Why is she really angry?" It's like you're having a breakdown. I did a tour show, and this guy... It wasn't even heckling, he was just being really crude, so he was on the front row and he was like... SHE MOUTHS ..and I'm like, "Sorry?", and he was like, "No, I didn't say anything", and you're getting really angry and it just makes you look mad cos they can't see it. I was in the Comedy Store when I started out and I wasn't getting any laughs, I can't remember why, and right in the front row, this girl turned to her mate and said, "He's lost it". That's horrible. And I let that hold me below the waterline. Can you tell me, Rob, about going to Slovakia by mistake? Yeah, I was in Poland and I'd climbed a mountain, as you do, and I was up there at the top, just kind of rummaging around and I actually drank my first Red Bull, this was in, like 1999, and I was just up there and some Polish guy handed me a Red Bull and I drank it and I said, "This is disgusting", and I wanted to throw it off the mountain but I don't litter. So I put it in my bag and I kept walking and I found this rock in the ground, in the snow with a big S on it and I was just looking at it and some other people came from the other side and I said, "What's this S about?" And they said, "Oh you're in Slovakia now". And I said, "Well, how about that?" And then I walked down the mountain. I'm sure it's a fantastic country, I didn't go further than that. Does it border Poland? It doesn't, which is the weird part. No, it does. That is odd. It is right there. It gives you wings. It's a shock when you wind up there and you didn't plan to. My mum nearly ended up in Gdansk once. Ryanair. She was on the flight and they were taxiing down the runway in Ireland and then she started speaking to people and they were like, "What?" Where did she think she was going? London. It's a holiday in Ireland and then she started speaking to people and she goes, "There's a lot of Polish people in here!" She spoke to someone and they said, "we're going to Gdansk," and she was like, "But we're going to London first." Luckily they hadn't taken off, but they'd literally taxied... I used to work as a check-in person. Did you? A summer job, yeah, and I did that thing - I probably shouldn't say this but it was a long time ago - where I would send people's bags astray if they were really objectionable. Shut up, you did not. I did, once or twice. You actually put the wrong tag on? I actually did. In those days it wasn't automated so you just had tags for the different cities and if somebody was like a real prick, you would just be, "OK, if that's the way you want to play this." "This bag's going to Nam." But, if they were nice people, then... You'd give them an extra bag. No. I went one better. You had that power. A matchmaker. So if you met this lovely lady and a really nice guy came along, you would just go, "OK," I remember, I would take a little note of where I put her and I would match-make. Oh, my God! That's wonderful. You know this is all going on in your head, you know that, don't you? Genuinely happened. The bag thing, I probably did it once. Where did you send the bags? Well, the guy was going to Toronto and I sent it to Melbourne. Melbourne! They're pretty far apart. What is wrong with you, your ass is stuck to the floor, your boots are made of lead. I read a book that you wrote, a novel that you wrote, back in the '90s, you wrote it, didn't you? And in that, there was a fearsome amount of drinking that went on. Yeah, there was, yeah. It was a novel, though, it wasn't an autobiography. I should point that out. Was that a big part of your youth? I was kind of... I was a wuss when it came to hardcore living but I was very good observer and I kind of hung around with a lot of people who lived that kind of life and, you know, I'd sort of be the sensible one there, going, "Oh". HE TUTS When my friends would be getting into fights, they'd more or less say, goodbye to me now, "We're going to have a fight," or something, "and you go off and stand over there and we'll collect you later." More or less, like. And so you'd watch them fight and then, "Have you finished, lads?" Yeah, it was kind of like that. "We've had our fight now "and we'll go home and we'll stop for chips." You're off the drink, aren't you, Rob, completely? Yeah, that's true. How long has it been? It's been over 12 years. Wow! Yeah. Please! This show has turned into Oprah all of a sudden. No, I think drinking is great, I just know that when I do, there are real problems. This all titanium in here, where this is rebuilt. Every limb I have is bionic because a little over 12 years ago I drove a car into a building. A lot of times when I drive a car, it'll be like on a road or a street or, like, a boulevard, but I drove into the interior of the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power through one of its walls and then I wound up in jail in a wheelchair with my limbs and... Drive into the jail? I didn't, no, I was driven. When you do that, you qualify for a particular chauffeur service that brings you there. Right. You're escorted! Nobody else was involved in the accident, thank God, so I knew at that time it was time to graduate to this stuff right here. Did you think your friends were thinking, "That was bound to happen to Rob one day". Oh, absolutely, they did, yeah. I was relieved when it happened because I knew something bad was going to happen and I was like, "Oh, this is so great". I remember being in jail in a wheelchair and covered in blood, and thinking, "OK, now everybody knows", and that's what I needed at the time and so that did the trick. Were you doing stand-up at the time? No, in fact, it was only after that. It was about a year after that that I was like...was able to be like, "You know what I really want to do "now that I'm not in a wheelchair any more is stand-up". That was not... No pun intended, that would be a terrible joke, I would never.... This lot loved it. I feel guilty, I want to, like, suck the laugh back out of you. What were you doing for a living when you were drinking? I had several jobs, I worked in a warehouse and baby-sat, of course. Worked in a warehouse, baby-sat and catered, and in fact, the thing you said about me, the Lionel Richie thing, I was catering at a tiny party and there were like ten guests at the party, one of whom was Lionel Richie. It was like a billionaire who was having the party and they had... It was a Moroccan-themed party, even though nobody there was Moroccan, it was, like, old, doddering white ladies in fezzes and Lionel Richie. And they had a little Moroccan band playing and the host of the party was like, "Lionel, why don't you get up there and play with the band?" And Lionel was like, "No". And then he was like, "Come on", and Lionel was like, "OK". So he sat down with a three-piece Moroccan band - they really were Moroccan - and he sat down at a piano and they Moroccan'd around him. And he played Hello. There were ten guests, and, like, me and a couple of other waiters and he beautifully played Hello by Lionel Richie and so just because of how few people were in there, several verses were directed right into my soul and it was one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me cos he's amazing. I once was in Van Morrison's toilet... ..at exactly the moment he wanted to use it. Oh, wow! Yep. It was something like that, it was a private thing. He was being honoured in Dublin. I remember, Bob Geldof introduced him and Van was quite happy to accept the honour but he's a notoriously difficult person and I was a big fan - that's why I was there - and earlier that day, he had asked for a 25-piece orchestra, to play with them. To go to the toilet with? No, no, no, no, I'm coming to the toilet bit. So, I was talking to one of the fellows in the orchestra, a violinist, and he said that Van arrived about ten minutes before the gig, gave them a list of 100 songs - they'd been there since midday - he gave them a list of 100 songs and said, "I'll be playing four of them". And so later on, backstage, I was dying to go to the toilet, so I went into a toilet. The next thing, there's this knock on the door, going, "Who's in my fucking toilet? Who's in my toilet?" And it's Van and I'm delighted cos now I have a little Van moment to treasure forever. And I came out and he kind of recognised me or something - which was very flattering - but he started giving me a headbutt, was his was of greeting but it was a friendly headbutt, I don't know if that happens in Wales or... It's kind of like, arrrggghh. Oh, yeah, yeah, that one, yeah. I thought you meant, bang! I love you! No, no, no, it was very friendly. Wow! Yeah. As you were coming out of the lavatory, he did that? Well, I hid in there for as long as possible but he wasn't going anywhere. He stayed there. I thought he wanted to go to the toilet. He wanted to go and... Why didn't you come out straight away, what were you doing? Well, I was a bit afraid. I kind of thought he might go somewhere else. We were talking about heckling earlier. I want to know what it's like to be heckled by Grandmaster Flash, the hip-hop legend. Well... Yeah. Did he heckle you in a rhyme? No, he was very angry. Was he? Yeah. I'd gone to see him live and obviously, he's this big rap pioneer, he practically invented early hip-hop with a few other people, so I was really excited. I was in the front row but I get very self-conscious at gigs, cos I never really know what to, sort of, do. That'll do. Yeah. "Hey, I blooming love hip-hop!" But I was front row, centre, I couldn't wait and he came on, and the crowd went absolutely mental and people were going mad and I was, "This is going to be really brilliant." And he took the mic, he went, "I'm a firm believer you got to know "where you came from, know where you're going. I'm going to play some "Parliament, some P-Funk, "some George Clinton, some Bootsy Collins." Everyone's like, "Yay!" and I was like, "That sounds absolutely great!" And then he started playing all these tunes, it was great and everyone was dancing and I was there with my Guinness or real ale or whatever it was, having a really great time and then he kept looking into the crowd and looking angry and eventually he picked up the mic and it was sort of, it was electric, cos people are like, "We're not "expecting him to rap, he's going to freestyle. "He's freestyling for the people of Wales, this is amazing, "no-one expected this." So, everyone was really up for it. He took the mic and went, "There's this white guy down the front, man, "and this motherfucker ain't dancing for nobody, what is wrong with you? "Your ass is stuck to the floor, your boots are made of lead! "There must be glue on that dance floor! Dance, motherfucker!" And I remember thinking... I remember thinking, "He's giving this guy short shrift, isn't he? "What an idiot." And he was like, "I'm talking to you, motherfucker, "why ain't you dancing?" I was thinking, "Yeah, he's really giving this guy both barrels. "God, I wouldn't want to be in this guy's shoes". He's like, "There must be something wrong with you, "there must be a wheelchair waiting for you cos you ain't dancing." And I remember, I glanced behind me and I did this because the entire dance floor had emptied, the people were crying with laughter and pointing at me, and I looked at my friend and he was hugging his knees, he was laughing so much. And he said, "You either have to leave or start dancing". So I left. Then I walked, I had to walk through the now empty dance floor with everyone going, "Waaaay!", and I was like, "Yeah, very funny, very good". So I sat at the back and the manager come up to me and he was like, he put his arm around me and he said, "You don't have to dance "if you don't want to". Were you 12 or something? I was a bit tearful. He was like, "Don't let him force you do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable", and I was like, "I know, thanks, "cheers, mate". So I was sat there waiting for the gig to end and then, obviously, we had to wait for everyone to leave because it was too embarrassing, cos people were coming up to me and taking the piss. The manager let us out round the back and as we went out, they were like putting away his decks and stuff and my friend was pissed and he went up to his roadie and went, "Hey, mate, this is the guy, this is "the idiot, that guy that Grandmaster Flash was taking the "piss out of, look at him, he's there". And the bloke went, "Man, "that's all part of the show, tomorrow night we'll do that to some "other white dude in Exeter". I like the fact you didn't even ask for a shower. You wanted a bath. It had to be a bath. You needed to properly unwind. It had to be a bath. I was in a sitcom, Father Ted, which you know and I remember, we were shooting this episode with a friend of ours called Michael Redmond, you know Michael Redmond. Wonderful comedian. Wonderful comedian, he looks great, he played this character called Father Stone, and the episode was, the most boring priest of all time comes to stay, so he's the worst house guest you can imagine, so that's the episode. The priests Father Ted and Father Dougal are trying to entertain him so we teach him to play golf. For people who don't know the show, it is set in the bleakest, most miserable place in the world and it was always shot at the bleakest most miserable time of the year, so you're talking deep into November, freezing cold, minus five, lashing out of the heavens, and if that wasn't enough, there was two rain machines as well, for extra rain and extra misery, and it was taking a very long time to get this scene and after six hours of this, absolutely freezing cold, I mean, really freezing, you know, bones were rattling and the rain getting into every fibre of every stitch of clothing. I was genuinely worried. I thought I was going to die, I really, genuinely thought, I'm not going to survive this, hour after hour of this, relentless misery and we're an hour from the nearest town, this is how remote it is. It's like the moon or somewhere. And finally, because of bad light, we had to stop, they would have gone on forever and I just said, "I cannot get into a car so wet and so cold." I went up to the nearest house and I knocked at the door and I said, "I'm really, really sorry but can I have a bath?" I had no choice, I had no choice. And granted, I was dressed as a priest and it might have helped but they just kind of looked at me and went, "OK". Did they recognise you from Father Ted? No. It was the first series so no-one would have ever seen it, nobody would have even been aware there was filming going on. It was just this extremely wet, bedraggled priest... came to the door and asked for a bath and that was... Yeah, fair enough. I like the fact you didn't even ask for a shower, you wanted a bath. It had to be a bath. You needed to properly unwind. It had to be a bath. Out of interest, was there bubble bath? No, it was just a plain bath. A plain bath. Are you called, Roisin, "Ro-sheen", is that how you say it? Yeah. You grew up in London... Yes. ..but with this full-on Irish name. Were people OK with it or did they get it wrong every time? Most people say it "Roy-zin", you know, it's ridiculous. I respond to anything beginning with R. When I was at school, we had this teacher called Mr Archer, he was a lovely man, and he just couldn't say my name and my friends just made my name longer for him so that my nickname at school was "Royconsangonzales", just to Mr Archer. He was like, "That's not how you say it", but he wasn't sure. And they were like, she's got a fada over the O, that turns it into "roik". Hang on, there's a what over the O? It's a fada, it's like a hyphen. It's like a little dash like you get in French like a greve or.... Yeah. Tell me what the O means? The O? Yeah. In O'Hanlon. Why do so many Irish names have an O in front of them? It's just an expression of surprise. Roisin, I want to know about when you went on a meditation retreat and you sang an Elton John medley, is that correct? Yes. I'm quite an anxious person and I think I'm always at a sort of low level of panic. Are you really? Yeah, just naturally. Cos I would put you down as a happy-go-lucky, smiley, chatty, nice person. Come off it. Are you a proper freaker? I think I'm quite an anxious, quite... SHE JIBBERS I think I'm quite an anxious person at heart, like, overall anxiety, and it's fine, it just makes me smoke quite a lot and eat my way through it. I went on this retreat, and basically, I wanted to go to stop smoking. And on the first day I got there, you sort of get introduced to people and this couple said, "We've been married for ten years "and we're here just to salvage our marriage. That's why we're here". And I was like, "Oh, right, I'm smoking 20 a day "so it's not all about you." I didn't say that. So I got there and I was worried that everyone was going to be quite pretentious and kind of, you know, "I'm so organic". But everyone was really nice. I really liked everyone and it's a very sort of nice place. How many people were there? There's about 40, you get assigned rooms and I got assigned a room with quite a famous actress. Can we guess? You'll never guess it. Downton Abbey. EastEnders. You'll never guess it. No? But in the first couple of minutes, she went to me, "You're not very good with silence, are you?" I was like, "Me? Love a bit of silence. Love it!" And I'm not very good with silence either, being an anxious person and so we go for the day of silence, and I thought it'd be fine, "I'll just read, eat, you know, it's fine," and then they say, "You can't do those things, "you just have to be alone in your own head with your own thoughts." Whoa. So about ten minutes in, I was ruined, I was like, "What? !" They didn't say you couldn't walk anywhere, so it was on this lovely grounds and I went walking and there was a big, old tyre swing. You know those tyre swings on a rope? And I got up and thought, "I'll walk there, they didn't say anything about the tyre. "They would've mentioned if we couldn't go." I got up and there was like 30 other people queuing to get on this tyre. For three hours, we just got on and off this tyre, just eyeballing each other, like, "You've been on there long enough, mate". It was the longest 12 hours. It was so tiring and so on the final day, they came in and said, "We're having "an entertainment evening just, you know, celebrate the weekend, I was like, "Fine," and people are going to get up and do stuff. So, this one girl gets up and she reads a poem that she's written about the weekend. It's boring but it's fine, you know. And then this guy gets up with a guitar and sings Morrissey songs. He brought the guitar like he knew that bit was going to happen, it really wound me up, I was like, "It's fine, be positive, "be positive," and it was all going fine, it was very relaxed until this guy, Geordie Dave, who's a lovely, lovely man, and he'd come on this retreat because he'd gone through a bad break-up about a year ago and he'd lost all his confidence and he felt like he couldn't talk to people. He felt like people didn't like him and he wanted to sort of rebuild his confidence and out of nowhere, he just ran to the front of the room and he was like, GEORDIE ACCENT: "Hello, my name's not on the list "but I've had such an amazing weekend." Sorry, excuse the accent, sorry. No, it's good. He was like, "I just want to say, when I came, I thought all of you lot were going to be bellends." It was like, "But I feel positive, I feel so great about myself, "I feel I can make friends again, I'm back to my old self. "I'm just going to sing a song, I'm just going to sing a song". And everyone was like, "Yeah, go Dave". And I was like, "This is going to be bad, this is going to be bad." You know you can tell a bad gig, that feeling. And, he just starts, he's got no prep, nothing, and he was like - # It's a little bit funny... # Silence, silence. He's got no instruments. # .. This feeling inside. # Silence, silence. And I saw two things, in his face, I saw the moment he re-engaged with his legs. I saw him sort of think, "Oh, we did this." Like, genuinely, that was just a thought, and then I also saw that he didn't know all the words, he did not know the words to this song and he's about to have a death. I was like, "He's going to be traumatised, "he's run to the front of this room and had this amazing song "and he's running out of fucking words." And my thing to help him here, was to make a joke, like, "Whoa, someone hasn't got the..." I couldn't shit on it, I couldn't make a joke, he was really in it, everyone in the room's rooting for him to nail this song, and I just thought, "You know what? "I've had a thousand bad gigs, I can do this", so I just stood up, no jokes, this is not funny, I'm in the room, straight-faced and I'm like... # And you can tell everybody... # This is your song... # And then the room starts joining in. # Hope you don't mind! # The couple... So, no-one's laughing, everyone's totally in this and I'm like, "Do not laugh, just be here." The couple I met on the first day then burst into tears. "This is our wedding song." It was like an emotional orgy, it was the whole room singing. ALAN SINGS INAUDIBLY It was insane. But breakfast the next day, it's like... Awkward. It is like a one-night stand, yeah. Everyone's like, "How you doing? You all right? , can I get the eggs?" "There was a lot of singing, you're right. "We should meet up and go on a walking holiday". "I never want to see any of you again." But, yeah, and whenever anyone says, "What's the worst gig...?", that flashes into my brain. Nothing is as bad as having to not smile and to not make a joke of it, and hold a note and sing along to this guy who didn't have, like, an awful evening. You've saved him. I did. It was traumatising, it was really traumatising. Well, I loved that story. Well, listen, I've loved all your stories but we have to come up with a title for our show. I quite liked, "I'm not a happy slapper". That made me laugh. There's something about the spots in front of you, are they there now? Yeah, cos there's a lot of bright light here, so they're dancing about. When you go outside will they go away? Yeah, in the dark, I probably won't see 'em. What about the Grandmaster Flash story? There must be something in there. What did he say to you? What was the swear bit? "Why aren't you dancing, motherfucker?" "We're going to do this to another white guy, in Exeter". In Exeter. What about Alan Davies - Why Aren't You Dancing, Motherfucker? Alan Davies Is Now In Slovakia? What do you think, Ardal? May I take a bath in your home? Can you remember how you actually phrased it when you asked for the bath? It was just literally, "Hello, can I have a bath?" I wouldn't have done that if... You could have pointed a gun at my head and I wouldn't have done that. First of all, thank you to Rob Delaney, Ardal O'Hanlon, Roisin Conaty and Elis James, thank you very much. I'm Alan Davies and you have been watching, Hello, Can I Have A Bath? Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd Hey, you guys, thank you very much for having me and for paying for my flight to come over. Hello, boys. Hey, I heard Alan needs an auctioneer. I'm here. I'm assuming that not all the guests have to actually stay in the basement. Nice to be here, pretending it's five people having a gentle chat with an audience. Sharing a dressing room! Evening. APPLAUSE Hello. I'm Alan Davies and this is As Yet Untitled. This is the show where me and four funny people sit down and have a conversation and during the course of the conversation, we will come up with the title for the show. We have limited ambition, but so far, we've always achieved our goals. Please will you welcome my guests. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello. OK, I'm going to introduce them all, one at a time. Please will you welcome Grace Dent. Grace Dent hasn't been to Yoga in 18 months. Grace Dent. David O'Doherty is here. David O'Doherty is an almost professional athlete and has had a top 30 hit. Johnny Vegas. Welcome, Johnny. Johnny became an inadvertent subscriber to the Catholic newsletter. Johnny Vegas. And Sean Kelly. Sean Kelly shouldn't go camping with co-workers and will never again live in a van. That's right. Only once. I shall explain. Now, in what field were you almost a professional athlete? Well, you could say in numerous fields, in that I wanted to be. It's looking increasingly unlikely that it's going to happen by the year...now, but the closest I ever got was, in the year 2000, I'd just started doing stand-up comedy and I was house-sitting for Ardal O'Hanlon, a very funny comedian, and he played golf and he had been booked to play in the Pro-Am of the Irish Open, which is the day before the pro tournament starts. The players, to get used to the course, play with probably businessmen and then also some people like Ardal. And he got stuck in London and they were just searching for someone at the last minute. Could somebody please fill in? So I said I would play. And it was with the defending champion, a Swedish guy who went on to be quite successful, called Patrick Sjoland - won it the year before. And so I was drawn to play with him and when I arrive there, I didn't have any golf clubs or any golf gear. So the first thing the sponsors did was give me full pro gear and clubs and a caddie, and so I looked like the defending champion. And on the first tee, there are about 1,500 people and all people are saying is, "The defending champion "is about to hit his first shot of the tournament". And I get up and... I hit the single greatest golf shot I've ever hit. I absolutely tonked it down the middle of the hole. And he hit his shot - fine - but in the five minutes it takes to get to the ball, I've actually convinced myself, "Holy shit! I could do this!" If you just imagine you're a pro, it turns out that's all you have to do. And then when I get to the ball, I'd say 150 people have formed quite a tight horseshoe around it and that's when the nerves really start to set in, because at least on the tee, they're all in the grandstand, whereas I could kill upwards of 30 people here with this wayward shot, and so I do that. I hit it about two yards, and then I hit it about four yards and there follows four hours of me hitting the ball, you know, 10 to 15 yards each time. But for that glorious five-minute spell... I mean, I think it was so embarrassing the rest of it, because every single time, there's a new lot of people in each hole going, "Oh, the defending champion is here. Let's see what he's like". And then, cos I guess it's one of my dreams, kids would run up with programmes and they'd be like, "Can you sign this, defending champ?" And I would just jot down... Ardal O'Hanlon. Yeah! And I gained a real appreciation for how hard it must be to be... Imagine you're in a boy band. The two kind of bouncer dudes on either side, the talentless ones - that's effectively what I was. It seemed like I could do it, but deep down in my heart, I knew I'm an absolute phoney here. And that is the closest I ever got to... You went to school with the lead singer. And yeah, probably once took a punch for him or something. But that's the closest my pro golf career ever got. That's what Take That's like now, though, isn't it? There's only three of them left now. Yeah, but it's the worst ones, isn't it? The worst ones are left. I've a lot of respect for people who just leave at the... Like John Deacon was the bass player in Queen and I think after Freddie died, he went, "Right, I'm out. "I'm done. We had a great band." And that's it, whereas the others keep appearing at the top of Buckingham Palace. I love him, though. Brian. Do you love Brian? I love him because... I just love him. I love how passionate he is about badgers. He's really good at the guitar, isn't he? No, I don't care about that. It's the badgers and the foxes and stuff. I'm a big animal lover. Is he into badgers? Do you have badgers in America? I'm sure we do. We're killing the badgers over here. We're killing them off because they're - what is it? Apparently, they've got TB. They've got TB and they're passing it on, so we're culling them. People are against it. Grace is against it. They've had a very bad PR campaign in this country, badgers. Me and Brian agree on this. You very rarely hear a good news story about badgers. You never hear how you're hit by a truck in the middle of nowhere and next of all, five badgers took me to AE. With their little paws. You know Clint Eastwood in Honkytonk Man? You know the film Honkytonk Man? I feel a non sequitur coming on. Did he ever at any point in that movie bump into a badger? What happens in that one? He's made up a film that doesn't exist. Honkytonk Man is a genuine film about a singer who gets TB and at no point in that movie is there a black and white flash in the background and then, "I feel a cough coming on." You know about culture and stuff. Is that a real thing? No. Honkytonk Man's a genuine film! Was my sole purpose here...? Is this an intervention? Yeah. Honkytonk Man's a really... When he makes something up, pin him down on it! Don't just laugh and let him go. Please keep this in. Has anybody heard of it? It was a dream! It was a dream! Has anyone heard of Honkytonk Man? Why would Clint do tuberculosis, for goodness sake? You know what? Jesus Christ, this is how the Nazis started - just an idea round the table. It's a really good film! This is not how the Nazis started! Exactly like this. Honkytonk Man! It's... Don't keep saying it - we heard you the first time. It's a genuine film. I expect a text from you tomorrow, from all of you, in fact, just going, "I'm sorry. I got home, I looked it up. It's a really good film "and it was very sad at the end. He coughs up blood." I don't think it was probably released here. It was! I don't want to start a beef with Brian May, and that's a sentence I've never said before, but the badger is Ireland's most dangerous wild animal in terms of attacks. I am listening. I'm just looking up Honkytonk Man. Oh, come off it! You'd have to go out of your way to find the badger and then poke it with something. OK, this is what I've heard. There's a time of year when the badger mates and during that time, if you walk onto their turf, then they will come... Turf? Yeah, they will... Literally. Badgers in Harlem. That was a good film. Now, that one I saw. Clint was brilliant in that. So the badger has a locked jaw. If you're walking through the woods and...so the badger, "Oi oi! This could be a mate rival!" So the badger comes and attacks you because it thinks you're going to shag the other badger? Here's what happens, right? It's a sexually aggressive badger? Locks on your leg. I'm sure other people have heard this, that you have to carry... Never heard about it before in my life, mate. Should have backed me up on the fucking film. Did you find it? Did you find it? I've seen badgers. They never locked on me. I never smelt like a... They never smelt me like a competitor. The badger will only release when it hears the crack of bone, so you have to carry a stick and if the... Is that a real thing? Yes. Only when your bone cracks will it let you go? Look... They're only about that big. They can't do that. No, they're huge. You either heard this somewhere... Or dreamt it. Or dreamt it. Would you like me to put you out of your misery? The director has come into my ear and said Honkytonk Man was released in 1982, starring Clint Eastwood. APPLAUSE I'm sorry, Johnny. He told me that about five minutes ago, but it was much more fun... The period of time where you were going, "Is there nobody here? !" was more fun. Carrying a stick. Carry on about the badger. So, badger... See, now I'm intrigued. So, badger... ..badger only releases upon hearing the crack of bone, so you carry the stick and then if the badger grabs you, you get the stick and you crack it over your other knee. Why don't you crack it over the badger's head? The badger hears, thinks it's broken your leg and returns to its bed. So it's satisfied? Once it's broken your leg, it will just walk away from you? I'm imagining the badger would think, "I've killed my competitor" not, 'Good, his leg's broke." I'm going to go into the forest with an erection, wait for a badger to attack me, I'm going to let it break my leg. And then I'm going to pick it up and shake it and go, "You didn't think this through!" And I'm going to shake it, looking at my penis and go, "And I'm going to go into your home "and I'm going to make love to your wife "and I'm going to befriend your kids "and I'm going to do loads of work for nature. "Whereas YOU are going on the train line, my friend." We are through the looking glass now and I'm going to have to tell you this. How long were you in a van for? A year and a half. What? OK, van... This was an RV. This was a 45-foot bus, two leather couches, five flatscreen TVs. That's a Winnebago. It had a dry sauna, it had a stackable washer-dryer, it had a full shower, so "van"... It's a recreational vehicle. Recreational vehicle. Where they made crystal meth in Breaking Bad. That's right. That's what inspired me to get it. Really? No, I'm making that up. No matter how you dress that up, you're still pooing in a little cupboard, aren't you? The poo in the RV is what motivated me to sell the RV. True story. First day of filming Storage Hunters, right, very first day, back in the States, I'm all excited, wake up early, my wife and I... We were living in the RV at the time. We drive the RV to our TV show. Rare that you're living in a van and you have a TV show, and getting out of the parking lot, it gets wedged between two poles, stuck. I had to go find someone to cut the pole down. That took a while. Then we get to the set and they decide it would be great to film inside. One of the cameramen bumped the stove. We left. We didn't realise he'd bumped the stove and turned the gas on. The RV filled up with gas. I come back to change my clothes, I smell the gas. Luckily the heater hadn't kicked on. Opened all the doors, shut the stove off, right? Thank God - I saved it from blowing up. I extend the bedroom out, cos you do with these extensions, where you hit a button and it goes out, right? Go in, get my clothes out of the closet. It's cool, right? I change my clothes, I go back, we do some more filming. That afternoon, after about 10 hours of filming, we get in our car, three-hour ride home. On the freeway everyone is honking at me. I'm just giving them, "It's big, it's slow - I get it. Go round!" That's not why they were honking. They were honking because I forgot to bring the bedroom back in. So I'm going down the freeway with the bedroom over the other lane, people are honking. The way I discovered this is when the highway patrolman was, "Do you know why I'm writing you this ticket?" So I get down to the RV park that day. All I wanted to do was just get in the shower. So you go to hook up the sewer for the poo and the pipe burst and poo went everywhere. No! So then they call the fire department, Hazmat gear, they come in, they clean up all the poo, which is spectacular. That wouldn't happen in this country, by the way. It'd be, "Get on with it yourself." I've come to England three times and you're right - they'd tell me to eff off. But in America, they have to put on the Hazmat suits, they clean your poo up for you. How nice. What a wonderful country. And then afterwards, I do what any good American does - I go to Walmart to buy another sewer hose and I hook it back up. I go to take another shower and I hear bang, bang, bang on the door. I'm just like, "Leave me alone!" Bang, bang, bang! I throw a towel on and go out and go, "What's wrong? What's going on?" He goes, "Your RV, man, it's flooding." And there's, like, water. The pipes had burst underneath the RV, flooded all of our clothes, all of our belongings, and I saw red and I just said, "I will burn this mother-effer to the ground!" And it was that day I decided to sell it. It was poo-inspired. Surely it should not drive with the bedroom out. Right! You would think so. If this was a Volkswagen or a Volvo, something would have kicked in with a beep-beep! My car, which is German, beeps at me as soon as I look at it, like I've done something dangerous. But that's like the German thinking. A German would be like, "That's right. You cannot drive it when the bedroom is out. "There must be a button or else you can't drive." But Americans are like, "Yeah, man, whatever." It's America. "Do what you want - it's America!" Did you not look in your wing mirror and notice... There's a house! Oh, it's me. ..that your vehicle was so much bigger? It was my first day of filming, 10, 12 hours. I was exhausted. All I could think about was I've got to... Look ahead, look ahead. I was like, "I gotta drive my house home." Did you hit anything? Did you wipe anyone out, like a motorcyclist? No, but you know what? "What happened to you?" "I got hit by a house on the freeway." Here's the craziest thing in America. You do... That's a big sentence. Yeah, that is a big sentence. OK, here's one of the many crazy things in America. Because they want to sell these things to senior citizens and senior citizens tend to be not the best drivers, you don't have to have a special licence to buy an RV. Oh, really? Yeah, no special licence. Two pooping-based questions. Yes? One, when you send down a, you know, a Bismarck... You know, an unsinkable ship. Sorry, did you say unthinkable ship or an unsinkable ship? I used to live in a share house and mine just wouldn't flush. Mine would do the thing where they would go down the pipe and you'd be like, "Well, that's good" and then just peep up and then fully reinflate again. Sorry. What always freaks me out in a shared house is what has the person went and got from the kitchen to break it up with. Yeah, and that's it. We are through the looking glass now and I'm going to have to tell you this. So, I got... So I was working in Australia and some sort of bacterial infection swept through the hotel, but I got it worse than everyone and I was on the loo for about three days, but then about every six hours, I would vomit as well and then only once did we have the perfect storm. In that moment, you have to make this decision which... Cos the sink and the bathroom are too far away. You have to decide which of these would I like to clean up less and obviously hedged my bets and tried to send it down the proverbial gap. there is a small gap that exists there and... So we're sitting there, having failed with that, and it's quite a posh hotel and there's a phone beside the loo and my mother likes to ring me and just tell me how lucky I am and how well everything's going and she rings and tells me how lucky I am as I'm looking down at my own barf-covered unit. I'm out. Sorry. That was awesome. Feep! Feep! You got married in Vegas? Yeah, it was a long time ago. Was there anyone there that you knew? No. There was people there, but I didn't know any of them. I saw their signatures at the end on the form. And it's legal? Totally legal. Oh, my goodness. I know. They should stop that, by the way. How long had you been in a relationship with the man? I did know him. "I did know him" - that's awesome! Had you gone to Vegas with him? Yeah. If you want a divorce, do you have to do it through the States or can you come back and stand in a court in England and go, "I was dressed as Elvis and he was dressed as..." The first thing I did when I filed for divorce was I made my lawyers check that I was married. That really fucked him off. Because I didn't believe that you could get married so quickly. It took about three minutes. Oh, yeah - it's Vegas, baby! I perform in Vegas only once a year and I got to know the lady that owns the Little White Wedding Chapel and she's owned it for 50 years and she is a nut. I love her and it's crazy. It's 24 hours a day they're open. They never close. They always have at least two Elvises on duty ready to marry you. Right? Classic Vegas bit. Did you get married by an Elvis? No, I was married by a man called the Reverend Wayne Splendid. Of course you were! Reverend Splendid. You knew it was true love right there. It sounds really bad when you say it. Have you met Father Extraordinary? I actually don't think it matters whether you got married in three minutes or whether you got married in... You did the whole thing where you got engaged and announced it and then you go through, like, two years of pissing everyone off with your John Lewis list. I don't think it matters. You would say that. I spent a fucking fortune on mine. Did you? I mean... Have you been married once? Twice. Was that on the first one? No, I spent nothing on the first one. I'm so relieved. And I actually hope she's watching. It should have been Vegas. It would be actually easier to kill them. Than get a divorce? I like you. I'm just saying that. I'm not advocating killing anyone. Sure you're not! I'm not saying that, but when you've been on the phone to British Gas for six hours, "Just take his name off the fucking gas bill!" You just go... "I fucking killed him. I fucking shot him." That's what you want to say. Do you know what I mean? Can you tell us about your Top 30 hit? About seven years ago, I decided I wanted to try and have a hit in Ireland, but you don't want to be... You don't have a Top 10 hit, because people will remember, cos I do music as part of my comedy. It might be one of the things like the Chicken Song, where people shout it at you for years to come. For the rest of your life. Yeah. So I decided number 27 would be the correct number to aim for and February is the month where no-one buys singles. It used to be the month, anyway. This is pre-downloads. This is 2007. And I have a friend who worked for the Irish chart-compiling company. He said, 200 copies, if you buy them in the correct stores that are chart-tracking that month. It will get you to 27? That's all you need for 27, yeah. So I recorded a song in two hours. It was called Orange, about ladies who wear too much tan and we burned it. Rude. It's rude. Oh, really? But you know... I love a tan. You know the one that stops there on the jawline, where it's just complete whiteness. What, you mean me about twice a month? Hey, really? Yeah, there's no shame in it. Sometimes you put it on when you're a bit drunk. You end up with one big orange hand. Yeah. My first husband had... An orange cock. LAUGHTER My first husband had no true idea of my actual ethnicity until well after we got married. He just thought I was kind of a Mediterranean dusky beauty until about six months. He just pulled back the duvet one day and went, "Fuck!" And I was kind of like a pale blue colour, like a pale, white, porridgy colour. "Hello, I'm from Cumbria." That's exactly it. Sorry, I get... So we recorded this song, we burnt 200 copies on my laptop and made a cover. You just need a barcode. It isn't very hard to get. And registered me as a label. The rule is... So we stocked it in the two shops we definitely knew were chart-tracking on that particular month. And you can't buy them within 15 minutes of each other, because in the '80s, bands used to buy hundreds of their own singles. They'd go in and buy 20s. So now you have to buy individual copies. They have to be 15 minutes apart and the walk from one record shop to the other was an eight-minute walk, so myself and my friend Brian spent two days walking backwards and they'd go, "Oh, you again" and we'd be like, "Can I have another copy of Orange by David O'Doherty?" Did you not at least try to disguise yourself with a variety of hats and sun visors? Dresses and things. A nun. "I'll have one of those!" Did it work, then? Yeah, we bought 196 copies and... You idiot! It didn't get to 27. It got to 30. It got to number 30. 30 is better, though. Yeah, 30's perfectly good. So I have had a hit single that - brackets - that I bought all the copies of myself. What's the chorus? Well, Grace... Sing me the chorus. # She was orange Like a truck made by Tonka # Orange Like an employee of Willy Wonka # Orange, like a sport and leisure question from Trivial Pursuit # Orange, like Garfield... # You just think of orange things. Is it on iTunes? There's a video for it. Could we make it a Number 1 hit so you'll never be forgotten? Well, my favourite part about it was that I made a video for it, a really horrible sort of slow-mo throwing stones into the sea video on camcorder with my friend John. And John at the time was making a movie called Once that won the Oscar for best song - a really amazing movie, and there was a mix-up on IMDB of... Cos he'd only directed two videos - one was the one for the song that won the Oscar, and the other was the worst song of all time. And for a while, the YouTube comments under my song were just very respectful kind of, "Really surprised that the Oscar went to this." I want to know why you haven't been to yoga for 18 months. Oh! How long have you done yoga for? Well, I took it up a few years ago. You're quite bendy, then, you're quite flexible? Give over. No. Well, I'd like to say it's because I can't improve on this, but the reason why... Farts - was it too many farts? That's exactly it. No! I took it up because I wanted to be elegant, and then I realised you're with all these women and they are all really elegant and then somebody always goes... "Phhhhrrrt!" And you're not allowed to laugh. Why - is that a rule? It's a rule. Who writes these rules? That's a horrible rule! I see a woman fart, I'm gonna laugh. I would use a lighter. Of course you would. Right, and I never actually let rip in one of these classes, but after 10 or 11 woman had done it, I thought, well, it's got to be me next and I would actually probably just have to move countries. But there came a point 18 months ago where you thought, I'm not going to be able to go - my farts are getting more and more hard to contain. Are they farts? You've got to be strategic about what you eat before you go. You can't just have a really big nut and bean salad at 12 o'clock and go out and do a few downwards dogs. You can't bloody do that. Are they farts or are they queefs? Do you know what I mean? This is the problem. A front bottom one. I often think it's easier to say it's queef than a fart, because... I've never heard queef. I'm enjoying queef. I know. A fanny fart. Yeah, but queef, what's that mean? I don't know where that came from. It's an American word. Yeah, it is. It's a pussy fart. Well, thanks for clearing that up. When your cat farts. Exactly! I don't think a man's as put off by a pussy fart, because they just think it's funny and it's often the result of something good happening. Whereas if you just let rip, a man's not going to go, "I'm going to marry you for that revolting smell you just made." Queef I think could be onomatopoeic, as in it's the sound it makes. Queef! If you did willy farts, men would never stop doing willy farts. Oh, my God, it would be... Can you imagine it? Especially if it made a whistling sound. The joy that spread over your faces just thinking about that! If we could do willy farts, I would do one right here on this show. It should be like old Victorian policemen, you know. Feep! Feep! It's like a call - "I need help'!" Feep! Were you in any kind of position where you could pretend that you weren't having sex? Let's see. You tell me. I want to know why Sean doesn't go camping any more. Now we're in the woods and you've got an erection and you and Brian May are freeing the badgers, here's a man who should not go camping with his co-workers. Those are good enough reasons right there not to go camping, but the reason why I've learned never go camping with a co-worker... I was managing a magazine and this woman who was a graphic artist, cutest girl.... She's like 5 foot 2, black woman with dreadlocks. She was married to a 6 foot 5, red headed, bearded gentleman and these guys say, "Hey, do you want to come camping with us?" I'm like, "All right, that sounds like fun." So I go home and ask my wife and she's like, "Sure, I'm up for that." So we go camping. It's a five-hour drive from Tucson, up into the mountains. We go to this lake. We get there late at night, we camp, we have a good time, but at the end of the camping trip, because we'd driven in at night, we didn't see what was out there, so on the way back, we're towing this trailer. It gets a flat tyre. So they unhook the trailer and say to my wife and I, "Will you stay here and watch all our stuff? "We're going to take the tyre, try to find the next closest town, "try to get a new tyre and come back. "We may not be back for about three hours." So they leave. We'd been camping all weekend. So I get this great idea, cos I'm an ideas guy, right? "Honey, let's take all of our clothes off except for our shoes "and I'll pour the water over you and you shower "and then you pour it for me and I'll take a shower. "We'll be nice and clean." My wife's a germophobe, so she's like, "This is fantastic." Then afterwards, we were completely clean and I think, "Hey, you know what? "We're in the middle of nowhere - let's have sex. This is great. "We'll remember this forever." So my wife and I are having sex. What I didn't realise was that right over the ridge, when they took off to leave to go to town three hours away, there was a ranch, and on the ranch, luckily enough, this guy had a spare tyre, the same exact size. They were back about 20 minutes later, mid-sex. They come over the hill. I'm like this. My wife and I look, we make eye contact with them and they just drove by us as if nothing was happening. Tactful. That's tactful. We get dressed as quickly as possible, we get in the van, five-hour drive home. Nobody brings it up. Five hours of silence. Five hours? Really? And in the six years that I worked with that woman, her and her husband invited us to do one other thing, and that was to go to a concert. We go to the concert, and I'm with her husband and I see this woman who's just dressed slutty and I turn to him and go, "Oh, my God! Look at this slut!" And he goes, "Dude, that's my sister." I go, "Bullshit that's your sister!" And he calls her over and it was his sister. You deserved that one. And you go off and you find a bucket of water and you go, "Does she want a shower?" Good one. Really? Five hours all the way home and no-one could say, "Well, that was awkward. We thought you were going to be gone longer "and, you know, we got caught up in nature and everything." I had to see her at work every day. Every day I had to go back to work. Do you think they might have been watching you for a while? Oh! That's kind of devious. They might have, who knows? Were you in any kind of position where you could pretend that you weren't having sex? Let's see. You tell me. Johnny, tell me about the Catholic newsletter than you inadvertently subscribed to. You don't have to. We were having such a fun time. You don't have to if you don't want to. Very religious household. Three brothers. My dad, the only man who never actually had any porn in the house. We went into other people's houses and their dad had a stash. It was almost like being a dad meant having a stash. In the '70s, definitely. Inside the bath, the bath's plastic panels. There you go. Mayfair, that sort of thing. In the shed. I could literally give you a tour of Carlisle of where all the porn was. I was a little girl, you know. Cos there's nothing else to do. It would be in a hedge. I used to walk dogs for the neighbours and walk round, because blokes who got rid of it hastily would throw it across the field. Why is it always in a hedge? Always in a hedge. Porn would find you. I feel sad now walking my dog. There's no porn anywhere. You always think, "Oh, God!" A badger attacks you. No badgers. You know what? I had this debate and I'm going to get skinned alive for this... I would almost... My son's at a certain age now. ..would rather go out and buy a mucky book to pretend to hide than him go on the internet. That horror. Just like a copy of Razzle. Yeah. You know what I mean? Just something really normal and go, "This doesn't represent women." And a nice letters page, where people having sex with each other... As a kid, I'm going... Bathtime, overfill the bath. And my dad kept saying to me, "I'm going to drill the bath", like they do in the boarding houses so that you keep flooding the bathroom. I just liked being totally submerged and hiding my shame. One day I flooded the bathroom and I took the panel off and I'm going to soak it up with towel and I found one of my brother's magazines. A bath panel - that's what YOU said. In the bath. Well, the magazine... It was beautiful. It was so well-hidden and it was... Cherished. It was a cherished item. There was a woman in there dressed as a policewoman and... I kind of knew she wasn't a policewoman. There wasn't the full uniform. And I was always kind of... I wasn't always visual. I needed a back-story and I developed this thing over time. I had this special relationship with her where she'd arrested me. For what? For stealing a pornographic book and I'd confessed to her that I'd never been with anyone and she said, "You've got two options." And I don't know why, it was an American voice, she went, "You can either go before a judge or this." How many years did that serve you for? We had a good eight-month relationship. Right, so one night, I'm in a bit of a rush and I'd kind of got myself geared up and I'd already put myself through the judicial system. I'd already met my lawyer. I was really thorough. I really like to flesh the story out, so I'd met my lawyer. They told me that she was going to give evidence. She'd come in the cell, she'd talk to me. It would happen. On this one, you're going, right, just get ready for the... So I'm...trousers down and I'm ready to sort of go, "I'm a bad person. I deserve everything I get." I put my hand in and pull it out... The magazine. Yeah. What would I be...? No, hey! When I pull out, in the meantime, what I didn't know was that my dad had caught on to me running the taps slow and taking a long time to have a bath. So I'm lying there on the bathroom floor with my penis in my hand and I pull out a Catholic newsletter. He'd swapped it. Just as I'm at the point of no return, I pull out a picture of Our Lady. You can imagine the kind of "Argh!" What scenario did you have to invent for this? She's a super lawyer from the DS. You could tell it wasn't really Our Lady. It was... Everybody comes into that age, you know what I mean? Sexually aware, but you just don't know it. But when I read it... You know what I mean? You're in denial of the fact that your parents had sex and everything and the second you pull that out, it was like, "You bastard! You know." You know that he knows, because he swapped it for that. And you're lying there, in a foetal position. My dick went backwards - I had a vagina. I'm lying on the bathroom floor, a new woman. I'd already undressed so I'm like, "Oh, God, I've gone the whole hog!" I went through the whole, like, opera of having a bath. You know, like... # Just in the bath, la la la! # Singing too loud and kind of, # No wanking here Just enjoying the soap # Nowhere near my testicles! # And went downstairs and you know that thing of going, "You know what? "Maybe they played a trick. Maybe your brother..." I walked into the living room and I was just like... I felt so dirty but you're going, "Just don't... Play it cool, play it cool." Sat down. And people think that... This is genuine - Juliet Bravo was on. I like Juliet Bravo. I like Juliet Bravo. Not in that way. But at that moment, I'd never looked at her that way. She's a policewoman, of course! Oh, my God! I sit down. And I sit down on the couch. My dad goes, "Finished with your bath?" And you know that poker kind of... And you go, "Yeah, yeah." "Good, cos you know what they say, don't you?" "No." "Cleanliness is next to godliness." And you know when you're going, "You fucking bastard. You absolute...!" And it was just that... I'm dead now. I'm no longer the son that he raised, the son that was gonna be anything. It was an horrendous... And I went back next month just to check. Yeah, it's still the newsletter. Did you never see that policewoman again? The policewoman? No, well, the thing is, she moved on, didn't she? You'd have to invent a scenario where you didn't see her any more. No, I didn't, but you know what I did after that? I made a pact with God, because I had this thing. I had so much guilt over it that the next fucking book I looked at, I realised that certain woman had crucifixes on, so I actually said a thing of going, "I know it's wrong, but I'm just attracted to it." "I won't masturbate over anyone that has a crucifix on, "as long as they've got jewellery on that doesn't refer to "Christ our Lord being hung on the cross. "Is it OK by you?" Oh! I know, it should have ended on a big laugh. But listen, we have a responsibility on As Yet Untitled to think of the title for the show. Every time I look at you now, I imagine you having sex in the woods. Yeah! I would say we go one better than that and we just say Queefing In The Woods. Queefing In The Woods is an option. Can you remember any of our conversation? Bits and bobs. I like... What was your line for the judge? Where you go, "Do you want to speak to the judge or do you want this?" Oh... As a title? For this show. It kind of gives the end game away, though, doesn't it? "You can either sit with the judge or you can face this." "You can face time or face this." You Can Face Time Or Face This. What about Colour Me Orange? I'd like to thank my guests - Grace Dent, David O'Doherty, Johnny Vegas, Sean Kelly. You have been watching You Can Face Time Or You Can Face This. Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd No, it's this thing with Alan Davies... No, not QI. He's doing something on his own for Dave. I know he's got some massive tax bill. This gets me out the house. I only hope Alan's changed his hairstyle. It's been the same for about 30 years. Ah. I need to be alone. Hi, I've brought a bottle. I didn't know if that was... I'm not really sure what the rules are. APPLAUSE Hello, I'm Alan Davies and this is As Yet Untitled. It's a conversation between four guests and me, in which we will try to come up with the title of the show. It's not rocket science, unless that's what we decide to call it... so please will you welcome, my guests. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello, hello. Hiya. Hello. Hello, everyone. So, now let's introduce you all. Shappi Khorsandi is here. Shappi Khorsandi has been bailed out by Nanny McPhee. Shappi's here. SHAPPI MOUTHS APPLAUSE Jack Dee. Welcome to Jack. Jack Dee was described by a fire chief as a hero and was once involved in extreme sports. Jack Dee, everyone. APPLAUSE Matthew Crosby. Nice to see you, Matthew. Earlier this year, he didn't go to see Morrissey. Thank you, Matthew, that's what I like to hear. APPLAUSE And I'm delighted to welcome Julian Clary. Julian Clary blames his mother for everything. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE So, welcome. Welcome, one and all. Julian. Yes? Your poor mother. Why is that? Well, she's a great influence on my life, and a lovely woman, don't get me wrong. ALAN LAUGHS And one of the rules of life that she's passed on to me is "just say yes", so this is how I've lived my life. And it means, as a consequence, you have a more interesting life than you might otherwise have. Except...in the early '90s, when I was a lot friskier than I am now, I was in a nightclub in New York called Cock... LAUGHTER ..which... Picture the scene. No, thanks. It doesn't mess around, Cock. It gets straight to the point. Yes. Would you mind giving us a little description of what you were wearing? It wasn't Lycra or anything. It wasn't, you know... I was just casual. I was off-duty. An off-duty comic. Yeah, and there was a man trying to pick me up in this club and I was having none of it - it wasn't to my liking. And then, I went to the toilet and there was a queue, and I was in the queue, and the man behind me tapped me on the shoulder and he said, "Would you like some of this?" And he had a mirror with some white powder on it. Well, it was the early '90s, I was working in television, I was no stranger to cocaine refreshment. Everyone was on it then - even the newsreaders. And I thought, "Well, this won't go well, I probably shouldn't." But I thought, "Well, what would my mother say?" LAUGHTER I thought, "Well, she'd say, 'Yes'", so I said, "Yes", and I snorted this not overgenerous line, and I realised, as soon as I'd done this, that this wasn't cocaine, as we know it. It was burning at the back of my nose, and I said to this man, "What was that?" He said, "Oh, it's crystal meth," and crystal meth... Phone your mum. LAUGHTER I mean, it makes you very, shall we say, uninhibited. And I realised I'd been groomed by this man. He'd sent his friend along, cos then he was able to approach me. They were working in tandem? I was more receptive. And I went off with this man... and I'll just jump ahead three days. LAUGHTER Please don't. No, you don't want to know. Oh, we do. I came too in a multistorey car park in Harlem. Oh, what bad luck, Julian. Well, there's a... You know... LAUGHTER You go to a club, have some drugs with someone you've never met before and then all hell breaks loose. It wasn't what I was expecting. Were you in a car? I was near, shall we say, an open boot. Were you? But, there's a sequel to this. OK. Would you like the sequel? Yes, please. Does it have a happy ending? This is getting quite dark. Well, you have to fast-forward a bit to... To now. Well, no... ..about five years ago, where I'd cleaned myself up. I don't take drugs any more, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I very rarely breath. And I live in Kent, in the country now, where nothing much happens. And I was writing one of my lovely books and I had terrible writer's block. And then I heard this car screech to halt, just down the lane where I live, where nothing ever happens. And then police sirens, and this is very exciting. So, the next day, I walked the dogs down the lane, and I could see the tyre marks there, into the ditch, where this car had turned over. And as I walked past, a little bit of white folded paper caught my eye in the ditch. It was a little bit of paper in one of those little mini cellophane envelopes. So, I picked it up and went for a walk in the woods with the dogs. The neighbours had told me that noise was some ne'er-do-well youths from Ashford who'd been joy-riding and crashed the car into a ditch, and then the police had come and I thought, obviously, they ditched their stash, when they heard the police, in this ditch. Right. They, literally, ditched it. Yeah. I then picked it up and had it in my hand. And I thought, "Well, because I've got writer's block, "maybe this is God's way of helping me through it. "This is a gift from God." LAUGHTER So, I did what anyone would do - I took it home and I dried it out in the Aga... LAUGHTER ..and snorted the lot. Did you? I had a terrible burning sensation... Not again. ..and I realised, it wasn't cocaine, it was crystal meth. In Ashford? ! I know. And which car park did you wake up in? Tunbridge Wells. LAUGHTER So, things are going up in your life. LAUGHTER Now, Jack, tell me about your involvement with extreme sports, because I've known you a long time and you don't strike me as either sporty or extreme. LAUGHTER Well. I've, um... I'm a terrible one for wanting to have a go at things. Yeah? Yeah, I know I'm bursting with enthusiasm a lot of the time and people find that infectious about me. But I, for a long time, have been observing this thing on the beach, where people have kites and they go on surfboards. It's called kitesurfing and I had to get involved. I had to have a go. So, I paid for lessons and it's... Well, if you were to take two really complicated hobbies and put them together, that's what you've got with kitesurfing, because I actually can't surf anyway and I hadn't really properly flown a kite, to be honest. Do you not start on the sand with a board on wheels? No, you start in a park. Oh, do you? You start in a park with a kite, which is really disappointing. So, we did that to begin with, and then you progress to the beach, and then you do it standing on a surfboard on the sand, and do that, and then you get the kite out again and see if you can hold the kite on the sand. And, by then, I was desperate just to get on with it and have a go. So, he said, "Well, what we'll do is... "The first thing is dragging." And so, you get out into the sea when you're about up to here, then you get the kite going and you let the kite drag you through the water. So, that's kite drowning. Yeah! LAUGHTER Was this recently? Yeah, it was quite recent, yeah. Cos I've... With my kids, one of them, particularly, she wanted to have a go as well, so she joined me. How old are your children now? My kids are now between 16 and 22. So, it was Phoebe who was doing it with me. I think she was 17. So, I... I got into the position where I was meant to... Standing in the water with the kite. And he said, "Right, now position the kite so that it will pull you." I did this and I just... I was taken across the water horizontally with this kite - horizontally for... Are you in a wet suit or something? No, because it was... Or just in a suit and tie. LAUGHTER As always, yeah! We weren't supposed to get, really, that deep into the water. It was a hot day, it was going to be fine. Trunks were the order of the day. Where was this? Where did it happen? Down in West Sussex. We were... I was being pulled along for what must have been, like, half an hour, And all I could hear was this instructor running along, trying to keep up, saying, "Pull the emergency thing "to release you from the harness." And I couldn't do that. What happened then was that, instead of being dragged along on top of the water, we took a detour and I ended up going up onto the beach, but still horizontal, so I wasn't able to get up. And it... That chafed. It was a stony beach. ALAN GASPS And it dragged me about 200 yards up the beach and... Couldn't you let go? Eventually I got the thing to lose it's power. I pulled this thing that collapses the kite and I was just sort of lying there. My trunks are about 200 yards down the beach and I was there with a badly grazed penis on the beach, and a kite that had disappeared across the South Downs somewhere. Um, and... Was this three days after you had some crystal meth in a club? LAUGHTER But I've always seen things like that and wanted to get involved. It never occurs to me that there's a whole bit in between, where you've got to learn how to do that, and it'll take years to get any good at it. My new thing, now, is I give up easily. I just give up. Surely you can sue someone for that. I think I should be able to sue, for not being given the proper information - that, you know, I was unlikely to be any good at it. LAUGHTER What about your daughter? Cos I can just imagine she was professional. Helpless with laughter. And fetched my trunks for me and brought them over to me like... Did you have a go at your penis with TCP? It was... There's the voice of experience. LAUGHTER Yeah. I'm just glad I had witnesses, cos it's quite difficult to explain to your other half why you've got a grazed penis, otherwise, you know. Yes, we've all been there. Argh! I kill you! How hairy was it when you had to leave Iran for your dad? Has he talked to you quite a lot about that? Oh, no, not really, but he didn't have to, because back then it was really normal, in the '80s, to pick up the phone and someone go, "I'm going to kill you, "I'm going to cut your throat." And I went, "Dad, it's for you." Cos the revolution was what - in '79? The revolution was '79. We were already in Britain on a bit of a sabbatical. My dad was a journalist. So, we were living in Britain for a bit. And then, the revolution happened and my dad went back to Iran and we planned to move back. So, you were a little girl now? Six or seven or something? I was six. You see, they wanted my dad. He was on - like many artists - on the list of people to kill. And then there was an assassination plot that was foiled by Scotland Yard in 1984. What it's meant, though, with MY stand-up... Like, I'll get trolled on Twitter and I'll get really upset, and my dad will go, "How many people wrote you nasty messages?" And I'll say, "Oh, about 20, and one of them said I've got fat legs." And my dad will go, "Oh, that's so sad - 20. "That means your career isn't going very well. "When 5,000 people hate you, then I think you're a success." Then he starts, like, showing off, lauding it over me. And he was going, "You know, in Iran, after the revolution, "tens of thousands of people spilled into the street "chanting for my execution. I was so famous." He looks at me like I'm a piece of shit on his shoe and he goes, "Look at you - nobody even wants to kill you. LAUGHTER "It's embarrassing. "My friends, they say to me, 'Is Shappi dead yet? ' "I say, 'No, she's not very ambitious.'" So, that was the measure of success in our family. What sort of stuff was he doing to invoke that much rage from people? He was...attacking the regime. He was a satirist and he attacked the Khomeini regime? Khomeini's regime, yes. And after that assassination attempt... I mean, it wrecked our peace of mind, because that's what terrorists do. Killing you is the tip of the iceberg. What did they try to do? They tried to blow his car up. Wow. Yeah. Was there an explosion? No, there wasn't, because Scotland Yard got wind of the plot and they said, "OK, you have to go to Windsor. "We've got a safe house for you." So, they took us away, and this was the era of Spitting Image, and my dad had an Ayatollah Khomeini Spitting Image mask, and as the police were gently telling us kids what was going on, my dad came in with the Khomeini mask and a black robe, going, "Argh! I kill you!" It was really traumatic. So, um, they told... Do you think he really grasped the seriousness of the situation? LAUGHTER No, I think my dad was like, "Hey, he knows me personally. I'm so famous." Because the trial of my father's would-be assassins was held in The Hague and I got transcripts of the trials, and my dad's death order was signed by the Ayatollah Khomeini himself, and on it was written, "The writer Hadi Khorsandi is to be shot "as he takes his children to school. "Neither of the children are to be harmed." And I thought, "That's so cute, right?" Cos I'd written a letter to the Ayatollah and I said, "We're getting death threats, "but you need to know my dad makes up jokes about everybody - even me." So, when you're ten years old or something like that? Yeah, and I said to him, "Come to our house, you'll see he's nice. "Our address..." And I gave him our address. So, I don't know if that had anything to do with it. LAUGHTER Then, after that, Scotland Yard said, "You have to take precautions now "and when you leave the house, "you have to look under your car to check for bombs." And my dad's like, "OK, I'm a writer, I totally know what a bomb..." Unless it's round, with TNT written on it. It's fizzing. So, before school, we'd all look under the car like this and my dad's going, "I'm not a mechanic. "I have no idea what it's meant to look like. "Get in, get in. We'll see what happens." And he'd turn the engine on, we'd be like... "No, we're all right, yeah, we're cool. We're going to school." He got you in the car and then tried it. Yeah, yeah. And he didn't take on any other precaution. After that, I thought my dad would pack up writing and go and work in a chip shop, but he never did. So does he still get death threats? Is he still getting...? Only from my mother. LAUGHTER Matthew. Hello. Can you tell me about not going to see Morrissey? Why is it significant that you didn't go to see Morrissey? Well, because my wife turned 30 this year, and I thought, as a nice birthday treat, we would go and see Morrissey - it's her favourite singer - in concert. So, we booked a holiday to Brooklyn, cos that's where he was playing. He lives in the States, he doesn't really play in Britain very often. And then like a week before we were supposed to go, he cancelled. He fired his support act and said, "I'm not doing the show." But we still had, you know, flights and everything, and a hotel, so we decided to fly anyway and have a four-day holiday. And then his other support act put a message out on YouTube, saying, "Hey, everyone. I know Morrissey can't do it "and I'm really sad that that's the case, "but I'm going to put on a concert anyway for free. "Anyone who's got a ticket can come and see me do a little concert "at the Gramercy Theatre in Manhattan." And his support act was Cliff Richard. So I was left with a dilemma as to... Is this a dream you had? No! LAUGHTER Basically, for my wife's 30th, we flew thousands of miles to see someone we actively dislike doing a show. And I don't know, have any of you seen Cliff work? But it's the cheesiest show. He has his manager come out and it's like panto. It really is like bizarre panto. He says, "OK, everybody, in a second I'm going to say, "'Welcome to the stage, Cliff Richard,' and you're going to cheer. "And we're going to do it three times before he comes out. "So, welcome to the stage, Cliff Richard... Tch. "Well, that was quite good, but we can do a little better... "Welcome to the stage, Cliff Richard... Tch. "Well, that was quite good, but we can do a little better... "Welcome to the stage..." Then Cliff pushes him out the way and goes, # "We're all going on a summer..." # It's mental! LAUGHTER And he has...he has the body of a teenager. He's very lithe, he's very limber. But every four songs, he has to have a sit-down and he has a Q A with the manager. But the Q A is like, "So, Cliff, you've just sung a song that says, "'I'll love you till the 12th of never "'and that's a long, long, time' - "Wouldn't you say that's how your fans feel about you?" And he'd be like, "Yes, yes, it is." And like, "Aren't you bigger than Elvis?" "Well, I never kept any records, but when this song was released, "it stayed for eight weeks in the charts. "Elvis was only in the charts for seven weeks. I beat him." Literally, he knew all the stats. And then, he was like, "So what's happening to all The Shadows?" "Well, Hank Marvin released an album of Django Reinhardt covers. "Yes, it didn't sell any copies, but you should check it out. "I think it's available for free on YouTube." So, he's dicking on all his old mates, saying he's bigger than Elvis, and these... lunatic menopausal women are screaming at him. It was the single best night of my life, it really was. Nothing wrong with being menopausal. Absolutely - I am! So, um... But I was sat next to a guy and his brother and they were both from Sheffield, and the brother looked incredibly pissed off, and he was like, "I'm a big Morrissey fan. "Are you a Morrissey fan?" Yeah, we're Morrissey fans. He said, "I've got to bring my brother. "My brother has seen Cliff 60 times, "so it would have been the perfect ever gig." I said, "Really? You've seen Cliff 60 times?" He went, "Yeah, but I saw him when I was 11, and I'm autistic, "so whoever I saw then, I just loved forever." So, even Cliff's biggest fan is explaining away why he's a fan. LAUGHTER It's absolutely insane. Can you tell me about the time you met the Queen? The Queen? Yeah. Oh, I know what you're after. Do you remember telling this story? When you came on QI, you told this story and it really made me laugh. Yes, I did a Royal Variety show and I was... Yeah, that's it. LAUGHTER And, you know, you have to wait for ages in a line, and Her Majesty was proceeding graciously along, and she spent quite a long time talking to Frankie Dettori next to me. And you know when you are aware that you've got a little bit of wind working its way through? And I thought, "It's nothing to worry about... LAUGHTER ".. I'll just deal with this silently." LAUGHTER And just as the queen got to me, the... It was the moment, you know, where the wind was making a break for it. So, I let nature take its course. Unfortunately, I shat myself. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE But it wasn't... It wasn't a great big, you know... Sure. It was just a little Nurofen Plus... LAUGHTER ..sort of size. Then that worked its way down my trouser leg. AUDIENCE GROANS Did you shake it out? I did. I kicked it towards Christopher Biggins. LAUGHTER Hoped for the best. Awful. But she didn't notice, did she? Well, she gave me that look. LAUGHTER "You shat yourself." She didn't say anything to me. Did she shake hands and then push you away? She's notorious for doing that. No, she chatted to everyone, and she got to me and I just got the look and she moved on. I think someone had warned her, "Don't speak to him." Yeah. "He's a shitter, Ma'am." LAUGHTER "Move on, Ma'am, he's shat himself." LAUGHTER all right, fuck this! Fuck this! LAUGHTER Whenever I see you, Jack Dee, I remember you being in the Edinburgh Festival and you telling me a story with, like, a really naughty chuckle in your voice, because you'd seen Paul Morocco... Do you remember this? Yes, I know. ..Paul Morocco, the famous and quite brilliant juggler... Yes. ..in a bank in Edinburgh, during the festival, trying to cash a cheque and he didn't have any ID, and he was saying, "But I'm Paul Morocco. "Look at my poster. Look at my leaflet. "Surely... It's ME. I really need you to..." And Jack went up to him and said, "All right, Dave?" LAUGHTER And then said, "How's the court case coming on?" LAUGHTER And walked away. Yes, I can be a right bastard. Did you...? Was that just off the top of your head or did you know he was going in the bank? I could see he was in pain and desperately trying to cash his cheque, so I spoilt it for him. Anyway. But from that, you've become a hero, hailed by the fire brigade. Well, you know, this was a situation that I found myself in. You always think, "Would I behave courageously and appropriately?", if you were put in a situation. I was with my family and we were crossing a bridge near where we live, which is a railway bridge, so it's one of those bridges that's got two big iron sides to it - do you know what I mean? And as we cross it, a van stopped and with smoke coming out of the bonnet. And the driver got out and legged it, and I could see all this smoke, and then flames were starting to come out. And I thought, "That car's going to explode." So I told Jane, my wife, "Get the kids out, get them away, and I'm going to stop the traffic." So, I stepped out into the road and just stopped all the traffic. And there were people being irate - "What you doing?" And I said, "There's a car there that's about to explode, right." And um... Ramped it up. ..they all stopped. LAUGHTER They all stopped and the fire brigade came and they get out, they put the fire out. But the chief - the one with the white hat, not the ones with the yellow hats - the one with the white hat came over to me and said, "Did you stop the traffic?" And I said, "I thought I ought to, "because I was worried it was going to explode." And he said, "No, that was a really heroic thing to do. Well done." So, I go, "Yeah, well, you know." LAUGHTER "Who WAS that man?" And um... So, I go home and Jane said, "What did he say?" I said, "Oh, you know, he called me a hero - fairly standard... "It wasn't... Doesn't really matter. "We'll forget about it. The less said, the better." But, yeah, he said that was an amazing thing to have done, and, um...he said that he wished he could be like me. But I gotta get back in the game. So... I'm gonna have to borrow your trust fund. Wait. You came all the way here to ask me for my money? Well, that money is mine. See, I gave it to you, so I can take it back. Actually, legally, it's my money, which means I get to decide what happens to it. Look, it's just gonna be temporary. All right? Just to get the blood-sucking bankers off my back. And what have they ever created? They're just living off of guys like me, and now they won't give me what I need to make it back. Maybe they're worried you'll lose it again. What, you think this is easy for me... come here looking for help? It's not. You know, I've always tried to be there for you. I was off making the money, they money that is in that trust fund. I guess I hoped that you'd be there for me now. Well... it's up to you now, isn't it? Excuse me, Amelia? Let me guess. You want to audition, and you're looking for advice. Well, I don't know what to tell you, except maybe lose 20 pounds and sleep with the choreographer. Actually, I'm not a dancer. I'm a journalist. I'm from "Interview" Magazine. They told me you were ready to talk to me. Wait, you're from "Interview"? I'm sorry. I didn't think you... I mean, you're so young. Well, I could say the same thing about you. I'm 17. In this business, that's about a year away from being pushed out. And here I was, expecting I would have to talk to some old person. Nope, just me. Cool. Look, I want to apologize. - No need. - It's just... It's not what it looks like. Oh, it's not? Because it looks like you're married. Yes, but it's an open marriage. We both want to be with other people. Really? That's not just a lie so you don't look like a snake? No. It's the truth. And I'm sorry that I didn't mention it before. Honestly, it's still sort of confusing, trying to figure out how to explain it to people. I think it's intriguing. Honey, we should probably get going soon. Hi, Sally... I should apologize for the way I ran off before. I'm Samantha. I'm having sex with your husband. My wife doesn't usually meet the people I'm sleeping with. Oh, dear. Sorry about that. It's fine. We're both still a little shaky on the rules. Got it. Look, I should probably go talk to her. But I meant what I said before. I'd like to see you again. So... Let me know. Sure. Definitely. Sure, they're throwing me a party now, but the ballet world is brutal. The girl I'm replacing was out by 24, with busted knees and a torn groin muscle... Oh, and anorexia. So at least she was skinny. That's awful. You don't get many shots at this. So when it comes, you have to claw for it... Even if it destroys you. Or you have to destroy someone else. If she hadn't busted her knee, I wouldn't be here. You don't feel bad about taking her place? By the time she left, I think she was done. I mean, she didn't say that, but she started partying, not caring as much. She was ready to go. I have a friend who seems like he's doing the same thing. Then maybe it's time for him to go. Look, I know it's harsh, but that's this world and this city. It's kill or be killed. And I don't just want to survive. I wanna thrive. That's very Darwinian. That's right. It's the most natural thing in the world. So you can't feel bad about it. Amelia was right. To make it in this city, you have to let your animal instincts take over. And in that moment, I knew I was going to write this piece and thrive. So you don't mind if I ask you a couple more questions? Of course. And there's nothing you want me to take off the record? Nah. This world is so screwed up. Let people see it. Wow. You got her to reveal so much. Turns out we had a lot in common. Well, I'm terribly glad this ended up on your desk. I don't think anyone else could have written this but you. - Well done. - Thank you. And I also noticed a certain linguistic similarity with Bennet's recent work. Well... - That's... - Carrie, I'm not an idiot. I know you wrote the parachute pants piece for him. I just... I really wanted to help Bennet out. Stop worrying about Bennet. Think about yourself. Because this piece is going in the magazine under your name. Mouse! Have you seen Pete? Uh, no. I thoughouyou guys were hanging out today. Well, we were supposed to. And then this morning, he called while I was out and told me my mom that he's leaving tonight. And now I can't find him anywhere. Okay, don't panic. I'm sure he'll show up sooner or later. Why'd I let you convince me to scare him off with my onion breath and my hairy legs? We were just trying to help, so you wouldn't make the same mistakes you kept making in the past. Great, well, now you helped me right out of a boyfriend. It's not too late, you know, to make your own mistakes. How would I do that? Well, he took the bus here, right? So go down to the bus station and wait for him there. And tell him what? Whatever your instincts tell you to say. Oh, God. That's probably my dad. Hey, Bennet. - What's going on? - I just got fired. Oh, my gosh, are you serious? Oh, don't act so shocked, Carrie. All the times I've watched "All About Eve," and I didn't even realize you were "All About Eve-ing" me. What are you talking about? Me? I didn't want to get you fired. I mean, I've been working my butt off to save your job. Yeah? Well, nice work... Taking my assignment and all. Bennet, you vanished. I couldn't reach you. And apparently, you were out partying. So what was I supposed to do? Not stab me in the back. Thanks for being such a good friend. I didn't mean to get him fired. Oh. - Who are you? - I'm Dorrit... Bradshaw. I'm just waiting to meet my dad. Oh, I didn't realize Tom had kids. Yep, me and my sister. Don't worry. I won't be long. I just need some money. Got it. Don't tell him, but he's super easy to manipulate. A couple tears, and he'll give me pretty much whatever I ask for. There's nothing men are more afraid of than a crying woman. Or a woman who seems disorganized and overwhelmed. I feel sorta bad for him, actually. It's so easy to get what you want from him. Don't feel bad. Women have it tough out there, trust me. Most men underestimate you. But it sounds like you are working that to your advantage already. Does "P L" stand for profit and loss statements? Uh... yeah. Good. Then I have the right one. What are you doing? Giving this file to my dad. It's funny. You know what I've noticed? Some women underestimate other women, too... Just because they're young. - Bye, daddy. - Bye, sweetie. See you at home. Feelin' like a sucker? Yeah, I know the feeling. Well, that was a cheap trick... using your daughter like that. Oh, there's a lot of cheap tricks being played in this room. Now, the way I see it, I can either go through these and find all of your clients' weak spots, or... we can call it a draw and start over. Negotiate the rest of the deal... Mano a mano... like real lawyers. No cheating. Fine. You're on. May the best lawyer win. I still can't believe he got fired. I mean, the whole time I was covering for him, I never thought Larissa would actually... do it. What is it you're not saying? Why can't you just admit it? Admit what? You knew Bennet was on shaky ground. What'd you think was gonna happen when you took his story? That she'd yell at him or something? And I'm sorry, but Bennet was never actually going to that party, which means he would have been fired anyway. I just seized an opportunity. Anyone would have. No. A lot of people wouldn't. I wouldn't. Come on, Carrie. Admit it. You went for the jugular. You wanted something so bad, you didn't care someone else might get hurt in the process. It's not that simple. I didn't mean for Bennet to get hurt. But he did. I don't expect you to understand. You never had to claw your way to get something. But if I'm going to be a writer, I'm gonna have to work my butt off - and fight for it. - Oh, come on. It's not like you're some poor, struggling artist. You're an intern at a magazine who lives with her father and doesn't have to worry about money or a roof over her head. First off, I'm on my own after college, which is why I work so hard, and why I take opportunities when they come my way. Not all of us get to live off a trust fund for the rest of our lives. I'm not gonna be able to do that either. Of course you are. No. My dad told me earlier. He lost everything. So I'm giving him my trust fund. Why didn't you tell me this was going on? Because I was embarrassed. You're right. I've never had to worry about money. I feel stupid even complaining about it. I mean, other people have real problems. Sebastian, this is real. And you shouldn't feel bad talking about it. Are you sure you want to give your trust fund to him? I don't think I can abandon him. I guess I just don't have that killer instinct. Aren't you worried he's gonna lose the money? Yes. But you're still gonna give it to him? Well, I already invested $25,000 in the company. Too late to get that back. But... Yeah, I'll give the rest to him. I mean, it's his money anyway. He made it. What will you do? Will you have to move out? I don't know. I mean, this place is rent-controlled. If I sell my Porsche, that'll buy me at least six months. Maybe by then, my investment will start to pay off. I guess it's pretty scary, huh? I'm so sorry, Sebastian. Pete? Pete! - Hi. - Maggie. You seriously didn't have to come see me off. - No, I did. - No, you didn't. I've got pretty good instincts when it comes to breakups. They teach us situational awareness in boot camp. You were sending some very clear signals. No! No, I wasn't sending clear signals. That's the thing. Uh, you barely dressed up to see me, wouldn't even kiss me, and that diner... - Kind of the opposite of romantic. - I know. I know. I... I've been trying really hard to keep you at bay so I wouldn't screw this up like I have my other relationships. What are you talking about? It's just... I've made a lot of mistakes in the past. And I don't want to repeat them. So I'm just gonna be honest with you and hope that you don't want to break up with me after I say all this. The fact is, I sleep with people way too soon... Or people who are just wrong for me and think it's love. Because I totally confuse sex with love, and then I get my heart broken or make huge mistakes. And I really like you. And I just couldn't handle it going down like that again. You really like me? I'm crazy about you. Well, I like hearing that... because I love you. What? But we never even... You know. But we've talked on the phone every night for, like, a month, and I love talking to you. I love hearing what you have to say about everything. And I don't want to rush the other stuff if it means you're gonna freak out. Because I want this to be something. So I'm fine with waiting, okay? Just, no more chili cheese fries. - They smell disgusting. - Deal. They say that the hallmark of a good negotiation is when neither side is particularly happy. Well, then this was a very good negotiation. My people will hate this deal. Yep. Mine, too. You didn't need to pull that whole "helpless" act on me, you know? Sure, you say that now. Seriously. I mean, you're a killer negotiator. You don't need tricks. You've got skills. Hmm. You're not too bad yourself. Oh, a word of advice, though... - I'd keep an eye on that daughter of yours. - Are you kidding? I've completely given up on that one. You know, I'm almost sad this negotiation is over. Why? I was just starting to enjoy your company. Same here. What do you say you and I bill our clients for another two hours? Let's make it three. Oh, hi. What are you doing here? Looking for you. Uh, I followed the flyers. Well... you found me. So unless you're gonna help look for Gabriel, I'm kind of busy. Well, you know... You know, I was serious the other night. I mean... I'd love to see you again. If you're interested. I am interested. But that's the problem. I don't understand. How... how is that a problem? Look, first off... It feels a little like you and your wife haven't totally worked out the open marriage thing. So that's a little more complicated than I'd like. And second... if I have to be honest, I like you. Which means... I don't want to share you with anyone. Oh. I'm sorry, Elliot. This is really weird for me. I'm used to having sex with whoever I want whenever I want, not settling down with one guy. But sometimes your instincts change, and you just have to go with it. Oh, my God. Gabriel? ! New York has a way of changing you... Sometimes in ways you don't expect. ♪ Darken the city ♪ night is a wire ♪ steam in the subway ♪ earth is afire ♪ do do do, do do do it's just a loan, you know? - I'll pay you back. - Sure, dad. ♪ Woman, you want me ♪ give me a sign But it doesn't just harden you or bring out the animal in you. It can also bring out the humanity. ♪ Do do do do do do, do do do, do do do, do do ♪ Oh, Gabriel. Wait here. Let me get my wallet. No. That's okay. Oh. And as our instincts change, so do our actions. And sometimes the city simply brings out what's already inside of you... A killer instinct... which may be scary, or may just be about survival. But sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. It's a bigger desk. No one's using it, and you would have your own computer. Why don't you take it? I don't know. It was Bennet's. - I'd feel weird. - Carrie... It's not your fault, what happened to him. It's Bennet's. You did a good job. You should own that. ♪ Burning the ground P.S.... someday you should ask Bennet how he got the job. Trust me, you'd feel even less guilty. ♪ I smell like I sound ♪ I'm lost and I'm found ♪ and I'm hungry like the wolf ♪ ♪ strut on a line ♪ it's discord and rhyme ♪ I'm on the hunt, I'm after you ♪ ♪ mouth is alive Hi... It's Carrie Bradshaw from "Interview" Magazine calling. ♪ Hungry like the wolf ♪ Lullaby and goodnight ♪ ♪ With roses bedight ♪ ♪ With lilies o'er spread ♪ ♪ ls baby's wee bed ♪ ♪ Tomorrow morn, if God deems ♪ ♪ You will wake from your dreams ♪ ♪ Tomorrow morn, if God deems ♪ ♪ You will wake from your dreams ♪ Good night. ( Instrumental music continues ) ( panting ) ( shouts ) You're it! One, two, three, four... Five! ( Instrumental music playing ) ( water sloshing ) ( birds chirping ) Lukas? (tense music rising ) (water dripping ) (fly buzzing ) ( echoing giggle ) 11,12, 13,14, 15,16, 17,18, 19, 20... Lukas? Lukas? GOODNIGHT MOMMY ( honks) (footsteps approaching ) - Mom? - Mom? ( blinds closing ) ( blinds closing ) Mom? That's a fine hello. Look at your clothes. Filthy. Take them off right now. Not here! Undress by the washing machine. And then take a shower. Move it! Ow. (laughing ) There you are. Thanks. ( inaudible whisper ) Lukas wants some too. Then he can ask me himself. You only made supper for me. You know why. You should apologize. Okay. - Am I a person? - No. - Am I a thing? - Yes. - Am I a cell phone? - No. - Am I a pair of pants? - No. - Can you wear me? - No. - Can you eat me? - No. - Do you need me every day? - Yes. Hmm... - Am I hair? - No. It's a thing. That's needed in daily life. You use it almost every day. Do I? Not by yourself, but... Hmm... - A car? - Yes, right. You got it. Okay. - Am I an animal? - No. - Am I a thing? - No. Am I a person? Yes. - Am I a man? - No. - Am I a woman? - Yes. - A grown-up? - Yes. Am I still alive? Yes. Am I on TV? Yes. Am I... a TV hostess? Yes. - Am I on German TV? - No. Austrian. Am I famous? Well, sort of. Barbara Karlich? No. ( inaudible whisper ) Um... A clue? You like animals. Hmm? You like animals. Come on! You like animals. Another clue. You have two kids. How do I know who has two kids? Do I know the person? Yes. ( crickets chirping ) ( owl hooting ) ( spits ) ( timer ticking ) (timer ringing ) (ticking ) Lukas! (water running ) ( indistinct chatter ) (footsteps approaching ) ( sighs ) That's enough. Hey! That's it. - Come on! - Mom! I have something to say. We were playing! I don't care. Dad lets us play. I don't care what your dad does. This is important. I want you to look at me. - So start already. - Excuse me? Nothing. The doctor said I need rest. And I expect your support. There'll be some new rules. I want absolute quiet in the house. I have to sleep. If it's important, knock. And no visitors. If anyone asks, Mom is ill. We'll keep the blinds closed. I have to avoid sunlight. You'll play only in the garden, quietly. Bring nothing inside. No branches, no animals... What are you doing? We'll start over. Right? We need to hold this family together. One from me and one from Lukas. Very nice. I'm serious about what I just said. We won't forget, right? Good. It's bedtime now. Good night. ( door closes ) ( rustling ) ( inaudible whispering ) - She's so different. - Well... It's just the operation. You think? Yeah. I don't know. How would you feel if you'd had an operation like that? I don't know. She s not like our mom. Play it again. [woman] I'm giving you lots and lots of kisses. ( kissing) I can't wait until I'm back. Pull the covers up and close your eyes. ♪ Can you count the stars that brightly ♪ ♪ Twinkle in the midnight sky? ♪ ♪ Can you count the clouds, so lightly ♪ ♪ O'er the meadows floating by? ♪ ♪ God, the Lord, doth mark their number ♪ ♪ With His eyes that never slumber ♪ ♪ You He sees and you He loves ♪ ♪ You He sees and you He loves ♪ Good night. ( clattering ) ( clattering ) ( creaking ) ( door closes ) ( panting ) ( panting ) (thunder rumbling ) ( laughing ) ( laughing ) ( belches ) ( laughs ) ( belches ) ( belches ) ( laughs ) ( both belching ) ( laughs ) ( both belching ) ( belching and laughter continue ) ( doorbell rings ) (footsteps approaching ) Get Mom. (footsteps approaching ) Mom? ( door closes ) ( crunching ) Lukas? ( clattering ) Lukas? ( clattering ) - Hello? - Hi, good morning. You sure placed a killer order. So much, all at once. - Someone having a party? - No. Who's all this pizza for? Pepperoni, pepperoni? Is that your favorite? Pepperoni pizza. You must love it. Yeah. Bought enough for a year. There we go, it's all in there. (tense music rising ) (animal whimpering ) (whimpering ) (whimpering ) (whimpering ) (whimpering ) ( purring ) ( door opens ) ( door closes ) (footsteps approaching ) ( door closes ) (jar opens ) ( knocking loudly ) Open up. What in hell... Since when do we lock doors? Sorry. ( clattering ) Why is there a lighter in here? I wanted to burn some books. Don't act smart. ( clattering ) (grunts) Mama! Get off! Mama! Let him go! ( crickets chirping ) (footsteps departing ) (tense music rising ) ( gasps ) ( hissing ) ( door opens ) (footsteps approaching ) ( piano playing Lullaby and Good Night ) ( spraying ) (footsteps approaching ) OUR WEDDING (typing ) INGRID ULRICH REAL ESTATE - METTLER HOUSE FOR SALE: STYLISH RETREAT, PRICE ON REQUEST ( knock at door ) ( beep ) (footsteps approaching ) ( door opens ) (footsteps approaching ) ( clattering ) ( door opens ) ( door closes ) ( knocks ) ( door opens ) ( door closes ) ( static) Lukas! Leo? Time for your chores! Leo? ( Phone rings ) ( indistinct chatter ) (turns off vacuum ) I've other worries. I won't play along anymore. I have to make him stop. He has to face it. Wait a second, sorry. (turns on vacuum ) ( door locks ) Not here either. Leo? Leo? Lukas, look. What's wrong with him? Leo? I'm sure it was Mom. ( Hissing ) (footsteps approaching ) (footsteps departing ) (footsteps approaching ) Well? Fine. Are you crazy? Stop that. What's going on? What is going on? - We want our mom back. - What? We want our mom back. Have you gone crazy? Are you out of your mind? Clean this up and go to your room! You're not our mom. To your room! Show us your birthmark. - Enough! - Show us your birthmark. I've had it. Anything else, maybe? ( Door slams ) I want you to say 10 times that I'm your mother. - Open up! - Say it. - You're my mom. - Properly. You're my mom. Look at me. You're my mom, you're my mom... Louder. You're my mom. You're my mom. You're my mom. Stop this foolishness! I'm not playing along anymore. Understand? There'll be only one breakfast and one set of clothes. And promise me not to talk to your brother! No. ( slap ) Promise me. I'm going to get so mad! Promise me! Give me your cell. Now! ( clattering ) Stay in your room! (crying ) She wants to tear us apart. ( crying ) Does that hurt? Mm-mm. - Does that hurt? - No. Does that hurt? Mm-mm. (footsteps approaching ) (footsteps approaching ) ( door unlocking ) ( beep ) ( static) Mom, please come back. I'll do anything you want. Please come back. All I wish for is that you'll come back to us. ( liquid pouring ) ( static) ( timer ticking ) (timer ringing ) Elias? (ticking ) (tense music rising ) ( static) ( heavy breathing) ( beep ) Trim around your ear. Here? Yeah. Better? Yeah. Now we look the same. Now she won't be able to tell us apart. ( door unlocking ) ( knock at door ) It's me. Open the door. Are we friends? I'm not mad anymore. Please open the door. Well? Are we friends again? Hmm? I have something. Thanks. Thanks. - Great, huh? - Yes. Can we go outside and try it? Hey! Hey! (tense music rising ) ( man playing accordion and shouting indistinctly ) Yes? Um... Yes? What is it? Can you help us? Yes. What's it about? ( inaudible whisper ) - Are you the priest? - No, I'm the sexton. Where's the priest? He's not here. ( inaudible whisper ) - Can we call him? - Yeah. Sure you can. Can you come inside the police station with us? And talk to the policeman and explain it to him? Yeah, no problem. ( thunder rumbles ) ( engine turns off) ( door opens ) ( door closes ) [man] Hey! ( thunder rumbles ) Open up! Come out of there! Come out! Thank you. Would you like to explain? It was all a bit much. The accident. The separation. ( thunder rumbles ) ( locks door ) ( door locks ) ( wrapper crinkling ) ( sniffles ) ( thunder rumbles ) ( keys jingling ) ( blinds opening ) ( clanging ) What's going on? Huh? What's going on? Where is our mom? I'm going insane. Insane. How do I get up? You don't. Where is our mom? Lukas said, "Where is our mom?" Untie me now. No. It hurts. Untie me. No. Tell us where our mom is. I'm your mom! No. Who's she? Hmm? Where are the scissors? Who is she? Hmm? A friend. We always dressed the same. Who is she really? ( phone buzzing ) Answer. Please answer. ( door unlocking ) ( blinds opening ) Hi, I'm from Vienna. What should I say? It's my first time doing this. I like to cook, watch movies. But I also enjoy spending the evening watching TV. ( strikes key ) Look. (grunts) Go away! Help me. (grunts) Ow! Ow! Ow! Stop it! Stop! - I don't see it. - What are you doing? Take another look. What is this? What is this? - In the video your eyes are brown. - What? They're contacts, Christ! They're in the bathroom. ( sighs ) ( door opens ) Why are you lying to me? I thought we agreed not to believe her. So? I changed my mind. Do you believe her, you retard? You're the retard! (grunts) ( grunting ) Help! ( clattering ) Where are the damn scissors? Do you understand? Get the scissors! ( spits ) ( coughs ) Lukas? Elias... Lukas? Sit beside me. Come on. Come, Elias. Sit here. Come sit beside me, Elias. Come on, sit down. So we can talk. Look. Elias... You know I'm your mom. Hmm? ( sighs ) I can't untie myself. Just go to the bathroom, get the scissors and cut me loose. Nothing bad has happened. Cut me loose. I want you to say 10 times, "I won't listen to my brother." I won't listen to my brother. I won't... Louder, please. I won't listen to my brother. I won't listen... I said louder. Our mom wouldn't do that. More clearly. Elias... I'm sorry. Again. I'm sorry, Elias. ( turns off video ) Come now. Please. Cut me loose. What happened to your nose? Nothing. Nothing serious. There, you see? You'll cut me loose and I'll make you breakfast. Cut my feet loose, they hurt. Lukas? I know it's hard, but we'll make it. Come, just cut my feet loose. Come on, it'll take a sec. I'll make breakfast. Just cut it. That's it. What are you doing? There. What? What is it? Stop. They had to remove it in hospital. They're dangerous. Liar! They had to. They had no... Admit that it's a lie. Just cut me loose, please. (footsteps departing ) Stop. Stop! ( grunting ) ( grunting ) (whimpering ) Ow! ( crying ) Tell us where our mom is. ( crying ) Tell us where our mom is! ( crying ) ( screams ) (tense music rising ) ( cutting tape ) (whimpers ) ( door opens ) ( door closes ) ( peaceful music playing ) ( doorbell rings ) ( knock at door ) [man] It's open. Hello, Red Cross! ( muffled screams ) Hello? Red Cross. Care to make a donation? ( knocking ) Is anybody home? I'll have a look. Hello? ( knocking ) Red Cross. ( muffled screams ) Nobody's there. It was unlocked, someone must be home. ( muffled screams ) Hello? ( muffled screams ) Maybe they're upstairs. ( muffled screams ) [woman] Hello? Red Cross. ( muffled screams ) - Hello? - Hello! Hello. Is your mom home? No, she's not home. Not upstairs? We heard something. No, that's our dog. - She's not home? - No. It's our dog. Uh-huh. When will Mom be back? Hmm? Um... She'll be home soon. Can we wait? Where should we wait? Hand me the list. I'll see how much we've collected. - The money too? - Yeah, I'll count it. Okay. - Really bad handwriting. - Yeah. You'd swear a doctor had written it. It's barely legible. Looking forward to school? - Well... - It starts soon. - Where did you go to school before? - In Vienna. A lot more going on there. We've already collected a tidy sum. If somebody else gives as much as him, we'll have done pretty well. Mm-hmm. We'll see how much more we get. What do you do all day? Not much. I have to go to the toilet. ( indistinct chatter ) ( chatter continues ) - Uh-huh. - Uh-huh. Is your mom back? Not yet. Is that your own money? No. - Will your mom be OK with this? - Yes, I'm sure she will. She always gives that much. We don't want any trouble. You realize that... We usually don't accept money from children. That's a lot of money. No, we're allowed. Well, it is a nice house. Just look. I guess they can afford it. (whimpering ) ( blowing ) As a thank-you for the donation, here's a Band-Aid. ( Blows ) Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Stop! Stop! (whimpering ) ( muffled scream ) ( crying ) ( static) ( microwave oven running ) ( beeping ) (whimpering ) ( inaudible whisper ) (whimpering ) (whimpering ) ( screaming ) ( crying ) (whimpering ) Please prove you're our mom. (whimpering ) Ask her what my favorite song is. What's Lukas' favorite song? Lullaby and Good Night? Don't! ( muffled scream ) ♪ Can you count the stars that brightly ♪ ♪ Twinkle in the midnight sky? ♪ ♪ Can you count the clouds, so lightly ♪ ♪ O'er the meadows floating by? ♪ ♪ God, the Lord, doth mark their number ♪ ♪ With His eyes that never slumber ♪ ♪ You He sees and you He loves ♪ ♪ You He sees and you He loves ♪ ( gasps ) (whimpers ) (ticking ) ( coughs ) Where's our mom? (timer ringing ) ( grunting ) (whimpering ) ( whimpering ) ( gagging ) ( screaming) ( gagging ) (whimpering ) ( gagging ) Don't you know when you have to pee? We're not changing them. Hello? Untie me. Now change the bed. Take off the sheets. Come on, take them off. ( groans ) (grunts) (tense music rising ) (footsteps approaching ) ( gasps ) (whimpering ) ( sighs ) Elias? Where's our mom? Elias, come here. Where is she? Fine. Elias, let's make a deal. I'll play along again. I'll talk to Lukas again. Lukas will be alive. I'll make you both breakfast, put out your clothes. We'll do things, like before. But you have to believe me that I'm your mom. You won't really do that. I promise. Elias... It's not your fault Lukas died. The accident wasn't your fault. Do you really believe her? Hmm? Hmm? She's lying. Let her prove she's our mom. What am I doing? What's Lukas doing? But I can't see him! What's he doing? Elias... Mom would know that. Mom could see him. She'd know what he's doing. No, Elias. Don't! Elias, don't! Elias, do you hear me? Elias! Elias! Elias! Elias! Elias! Elias! Elias! Elias! Help! Help! Elias! Elias! Elias! Elias! Elias! (tense music rising ) ( Elias humming Lullaby and Good Night ) (continues humming ) ( singing ) ♪ God, the Lord, doth mark their number ♪ ♪ With His eyes that never slumber ♪ ♪ You He sees and you He loves♪ ♪ You He sees and you He loves ♪ ♪♪ Good evening, Good night. With bautiful pink splendor With lilies as bedspreads as fresh as the spring in May tomorrow morning, when God permits You wake up from the dream, so much layered Tomorrow morning, when God permits Your dreams are over and it's quiet Goodnight. You're it! One two three four ... Five! Lukas? 10, 11, 12 13, 14 15, 16 17, 18 19, 20 ... Lukas? Lukas? Mom? Mom? Nice welcome. Look at your clothes. Nasty. Take them off now. Not here! Undress at the washing machine. And then take a shower. Hurry up! Please. Thanks. Lukas wants some too. Then he can ask me himself. You've only made dinner for me. You know why. You should apologize. - Am I a person? - No. - I am a thing? - Yes. - I am a mobile phone? - No. - I'm pants ? . - No. - Can you wear me? - No. - Can you eat me? - No. - Do you need me every day? - Yes. - I'm hair? - No. It's a thing. It's necessary in everyday life. You use it almost every day. Is that so? You don't, but ... - A car? - Yeah, okay. You guessed it. - Am I an animal? - No. - I am a thing? - No. Am I a person? Yes. - I'm a man? - No. - Am I a woman? - Yes. - An adult? - Yes. I am still alive? Yes. Am I on TV? Yes. I am ... a TV presenter? Yes. - Am I on German TV? - No. Austria. Am I famous? Well, a little. Barbara Karlich? No. A hint? You love animals. You love animals. Come on! You love animals. Another hint. You have two children. How should I know who has two children? Do I know her? Yes. Lukas! Enough. We're done. - Come on! - Mom! I have something to say. We were playing! I don't care. Daddy lets us play. I don't care what your father does. This is important. I want you to look at me. - Alright then. - Excuse me? Nothing. The doctor told me to rest. And I expect support. There are some new rules. I want absolute silence in the house. I need sleep. If it's important, you knock. And no visitors. If someone asks, tell them mom's sick. We keep the curtains closed. I need to avoid sunlight. You play alone in the garden, very quiet. You take nothing inside. No branches, no animals ... What are you doing? We start over. Well? We need to keep this family together. One for me and one of Luke. Very nice. I meant what I just said. We're sticking to this plan, huh? Good. Now it's bedtime. Goodnight. - She is so different. - Well ... It's because of the surgery. Do you think? Yes. I don't know. How would you feel if you had undergone such an operation? I don't know. She is not like our mother. Play it again. Loads of kisses from me. I can't wait to be back. Pull up your blankets and close your eyes. Can you count the stars, shining in the night sky? Can you count the clouds, hovering over the fields? Oh Lord watch over them with eyes that never doze. He sees you and loves you. He sees you and loves you. Goodnight. Get mom. Mom? Lukas? Lukas? - Hello? - Hi, good morning. That was a huge order. So many at the same time. - Throwing a party? - No. Who are all those pizzas for? Pepperoni, Pepperoni? Is that your favorite? Pepperoni pizza. You must be crazy about it. Yes. Enough for a whole year. So, it's all in there. Open the door. What is this ... Since when do we lock the door? Sorry. Why is there a lighter here? I wanted to burn some books. Don't be so smart. Stop! Let him go! OUR MARRIAGE FOR SALE: STYLISH RETREAT, PRICE ON REQUEST Lukas! Leo? Time for the household! Leo? I have other concerns. I'm not playing anymore. I have to make him stop. He should understand. Hold on, sorry. Here neither. Leo? Lukas, look. What's wrong with him? Leo? I'm sure mom did this. Well? Good then. Are you nuts? Stop. What is going on? What's going on? - We want our mother back. - What? We want our mother back. Are you nuts? Have you lost your mind? Clean this up and go to your room! You are not our mother. Go to your room! Show us your birthmark. - Enough! - Show us your birthmark. I'm tired of this. Anything else, perhaps? I want you to repeat ten times that I'm your mother. - Open up! - Say it. - You're my mother. - More convincing. You're my mother. Look at me. You're my mother, you're my mother ... Harder. You're my mother. Stop this nonsense! I'm not playing anymore. Understood? There is only one breakfast and one set of clothes. And promise me you're not talking to your brother! No. Promise me. Otherwise I'm very angry! Promise me! Give me your cell phone. Now! House arrest! She wants to pull us apart. Does that hurt? - Does that hurt? - No. Does that hurt? Mama, please come back. I'll do anything you want. Please, come back. All I want is for you to come back to us. Elias? Cut another bit away at your ear. There? Better? Now we look the same. Now she can't keep us apart. It's me. Open the door. Are we friends again? I'm not angry anymore. Please open the door. Well? Are we friends again? I got something. Thanks. Thanks. - Nice isn't it? - Yes. Can we go out and try? Yes? Yes? What is it? - Can you help us? - Yes. What is it about? - Are you a priest? - No, I'm the sexton. Where is the priest? He is not here. - Can we call him? - Yes. Of course that's possible. You can go with us to the police station? And talk to the agent and explain to him? No problem. Open the door! Get out! Come one! Thanks. Don't you owe me any explanation? It was all a little bit too much. The accident. The divorce. What is this? What is this? Where is our mother? I'm going crazy. Crazy! And how am I going to get up? Not like this. Where is our mother? Lukas said: 'Where is our mother? ' Let me go. No. It hurts. Untie me. No. Tell us. Where is our mother? I'm your mother! No ... Who is that? Where are the scissors? Who is she? A friend of mine. We always wear the same. Who is she really? Answer. Answer it, please. Hello, I'm from Vienna. What shall I say? It's the first time I do this. I like cooking, watching movies. But in the evening I also like to watch TV .. Look. Go away! Help me. Stop! Stop! - I don't see it. - What are you doing? Look again. What is this? What ! ? - In the video your eyes are brown. - What? These are contact lenses, Christ! They're in the bathroom. Why are you lying to me? We had agreed not to believe her? And? I've changed my mind. Do you believe her, you idiot? You're the idiot! Help! Where are those damn scissors? Do you hear me? Grab the scissors! Lukas? Elias ... Lukas? Come sit next to me. Come, Elias. Sit here. Come sit next to me, Elias. Sit down. Then we can talk. Listen. Elias ... You know I'm your mother. I can't untie myself. Go to the bathroom, grab a pair of scissors and untie me. Nothing bad happened. Untie me. I want you to repeat 10 times: "I don't listen to my brother." I don't listen to my brother. I ... Louder, please. I don't listen to my brother. I don't listen ... I said louder. Our mother wouldn't do that. More convincing. Elias ... Sorry. Again. I'm sorry, Elias. Come on. Please? Untie me. What happened to your nose? Nothing. Nothing serious. See? If you let me go I can make you breakfast. Untie my feet, they hurt. Lukas? I know it's difficult, but we're gonna make it. Come on, untie my feet. Go ahead, then I'll make breakfast. Untie me. Yes go on. What are you doing? There. What? What is it? Stop. They have been removed in the hospital. They are dangerous. Liar! They had to. They did not ... Admit that it's a lie. Do not make me go, please? Stop! Stop! Tell us where our mother is. Tell us where our mother is! The door is open. Hello? The Red Cross! Hello? Red Cross. Care to make a donation? Is there anybody home? I'll go look. Hello? Red Cross! There is nobody. It wasn't locked, there must be someone at home. Hello? Maybe they're upstairs. Red Cross! - Hello? - Hey! Hello. Is your mom home? No, she's not home. She's not upstairs? We heard something. No, that was our dog. - She's not home? - No. It's our dog. When does she get back? She'll be home soon. Can we wait? Where can we wait? Let's see how much we raised. - The money also? - I can count everything. - What a bad handwriting. - Yes. Like a doctor's prescription. Barely legible. You want to go to school again? - Well ... - It starts soon. - Where did you go to school? - In Vienna. It's a lot busier there, huh? We have already picked up a nice sum. If everyone continues to give as much, we did well. We'll see how much more we get. What do you do all day? Not much. I gotta go to the bathroom. Is your mother back? Not yet. Is that your own money? No. - Does your mother approve? - Sure. She always gives a lot herself. We don't want any trouble. You realize ... Normally we don't take money from children. That's a lot of money. No, we can do it. Well, take a good look at how beautiful this house is. They can afford it. As thanks for the donation, I have here a plaster. Help! Help! Help! Stop! Please prove that you're our mother. Ask her what my favorite song is. What is Lukas' favorite song? "Good evening, good night"? Don't! Can you count the stars, shining in the night sky? Can you count the clouds, hovering over the fields? Oh Lord watch over them. with eyes that never doze. He sees you and loves you. He sees you and loves you. Where is our mother? Don't you know yourself when you have to urinate? We can't help you with that. Hello? Untie me. Now clean the bed. Take the sheets off. Come on, get them off. Elias? Where is our mother? Elias, come here. Where is she? All right. Elias, let's make a deal. I'll play the game again. I will talk again to Lukas. Lukas will live again. I'll make breakfast for the both of you, ready your clothes. We do everything again, as before. But you have to believe me that I am your mother. And you honestly want to do that? I promise. Elias ... It's not your fault that Lukas died. The accident was not your fault. Do you really believe her? She's lying. Let her prove that she is our mother. What do I do now? What is Lukas now doing? But I can't see him! What's he doing now? Elias ... Mama would know. Mama could see him. She would know what he's doing. No, Elias. Don't! Elias, don't! Elias, do you hear me? Help! Oh Lord, watch over them. with eyes that never doze. He sees you and loves you. He sees you and loves you. The Oracle's words stand as a warning. A prophecy. Sparta will fall. All of Greece will fall. And Persian fire will reduce Athens to cinder. For Athens is a pile of stone and wood... and cloth and dust and, as dust, will vanish into the wind. Only the Athenians themselves exist. And the fate of the world hangs on their every syllable. Only the Athenians exist. And only stout wooden ships can save them. Wooden ships and a tidal wave of heroes' blood. Leonidas, my husband Leonidas, your king Leonidas and the brave 300 are dead. The free men and women of Greece are not bound by a beautiful Spartan death. War is not their love. Yet he lay down his life for them. For the promise Greece holds. 'Tis our enemies who forged our freedom in the fires of war. It was King Darius who came to take our land. Ten years ago, when youth still burned in our eyes... before this bitter war forced our children to become men. Ten years ago, this war began as all wars begin: With a grievance. Marathon. The Persian king, Darius annoyed by the notion of Greek freedom has come to Greece to bring us to heel. He makes landfall at the field of Marathon with an invading force which outnumbers the Greek defenders three-to-one. And so at dawn, the hopeless Athenians do the unthinkable. They attack. They attack the weary Persians as they disembark their ships on shaky legs after a month at sea. They attack before they can establish their war camp and supply their soldiers. And who is the architect of this mad strategy? A little-known Athenian soldier. His men call him Themistokles. He gives the Persians a taste of Athenian shock combat. All thoughts of glory are gone. Thousands dead. Hundreds of them their own. All for an idea: A free Greece an Athenian experiment called "democracy." Could this idea be worth it? Worth all this sacrifice? Themistokles would let the good King Darius decide. For through the chaos a moment appeared. And Themistokles would seize it. A moment that would ring across the centuries. A moment that would raise him from simple soldier to the height of Athenian political power. No! A moment that would make Themistokles a legend. Yet even as the praise and glory were heaped upon him Themistokles knew in his heart he had made a mistake. It was Darius' son, Xerxes whose eyes had the stink of destiny about them. Themistokles knew he should have killed that boy. That glorious mistake would forever haunt him. And so it was Themistokles himself who sent a ripple across the Persian empire and set into motion forces that would bring fire to the heart of Greece. For as the good king lay dying all his greatest generals and advisers were summoned to his bedside. None greater than his finest naval commander, Artemisia. Her ferocity bested only by her beauty. Her beauty matched only by her devotion to her king. Darius favored Artemisia among his generals for she had brought him victory on the battlefield. In her he had the perfect warrior protégée that his son, Xerxes, would never be. So sweet, my child. My sweet child. Father. Xerxes. Do not repeat your father's mistake. Leave the ignoble Greeks to their ways. Only the gods can defeat them. Only the gods. For seven days, Xerxes mourned paralyzed by grief. On the eighth day, Artemisia whispered the seed of madness that would consume him. Your father's words were not a warning but a challenge. Only the gods can defeat the Greeks? You will be a god-king. Artemisia gathered the priests, wizards and mystics from every corner of the empire. They wrapped the young king in Cimmerian gauze dipped in ancient potions and set him to wander the desert till in a delirium of heat and thirst, he stumbled upon a hermit's cave. Xerxes passed the vacant eyes and empty souls of the hollow creatures that dwell in the dark corners of all men's hearts. And in that darkness he surrendered himself completely to power so evil and perverse that, as he emerged no part of a human man that was Xerxes survived. His eyes blazed like scarlet coals. He was stripped, cleansed, glabrous and smooth. Xerxes was reborn a god. Artemisia trusted no one. So in the cover of night the palace was cleansed of all Xerxes' allies. All those he trusted mall those who had raised him mall those he had once looked to for counse were quickly introduced to her wrath. And as the god-king stood before his people Artemisia watched her flawless manipulation take shape. - For glory's sake - For glory's sake - for vengeance's sake - for vengeance's sake war. war! War is coming to Greece in the visage of a monster army over a million strong. It should be little more than a formality for Themistokles the hero of Marathon to finish what he began. Please! We must appeal to Xerxes' reason! Coward! Athens is a city of cowards! Shut your cock hole! Shut your own! I'll kill you! Fuck the Spartans! Fuck those muscle-bound boy-lovers! Silence! Silence for the hero of Marathon! This is a democracy, not a street fight. Quiet! It's Themistokles. The Persian attack will come from both the north and the south. The city-states should negotiate a truce. Yes, yes, we must negotiate. Negotiate with tyranny? Give me one example of when that has ever profited a nation. - You're right. We must unite. - My fellow countrymen we can only judge the future from what we have suffered in the past. Now, many of you here stood with me at Marathon. And for those of you who served and faced the cut and thrust of battle you know how true peace is forged. Do not be deceived. Xerxes, the son of Darius is a wolf at our door. Right here, right now we must choose: Do we stand and fight for Greece or not? Argos Corinth Megara Athens. Not even Sparta can match the Persians alone. We must persevere as one nation. Or we will perish clinging onto our own self-interests. Send us the ships that we need to defend Greece. Themistokles will need more than our cities' ships. He will need our children to join the fight. And what of Sparta? You send every ship that we have to the northern coast of Euboea. I will go and seek the help of the great Spartans. Still no word from the messenger you sent to Sparta. King Leonidas may have been insulted by your generous offer. Perhaps I need to march into Sparta myself and burn it to the ground. Remember when a king is loved as I am much can be accomplished. They would be fools to resist my divine power. Athens is attempting to assemble a coalition. It'll be nothing more than a patchwork of ships. Once these waters have been traversed, I will lead my force across the land. I will remind the cowards of Greece that we have not forgotten their insolence. Rest and water the horses. It's best I go alone. Spartans don't get along well with others. - Spartans. - Themistokles. You old snake. - What brings you this far south? - I've come to see Leonidas. - To warn him that the Persians are on the march. - You're too late. Persian messenger already presented his terms to Leonidas. Symbolic offering of earth and water. Spartans! Know this and know it well. That any Spartan's finest moment the greatest fulfillment of all he holds dear is that moment when he has fought his heart out for the preservation of Sparta and lies dead on the battlefield victorious. Now. who is willing to die at our king's side? Themistokles. You've come a long way to stroke your cock whilst watching real men train. Queen Gorge. Shouldn't he be training them to live at their king's side? A new age is dawning, Gorgo. Won't be long before men rise up and shed the yoke of mysticism and tyranny. - That sounds like a threat. - No. An opportunity to join the rest of free Greece and stand against a true tyrant. Unless, of course, you and Leonidas have already made a deal with Xerxes. No terms were reached. Xerxes' messenger was Well, he was rude and he lacked respect. He didn't understand the same threats made in Thebes and Athens would not work here. This is the birthplace of the world's greatest warriors. Men whose king would stand and fight and die for any one of them. Xerxes' messenger did not understand this is no typical Greek city-state. This is Sparta. It was clear to the messenger there'd be no Spartan submission? It was clear. Even now Leonidas is in counsel with the Oracle over his battle plan. The Festival of the Carneia is all that stands in our way. Surely the Oracle will see we must fight. Well, then my timing is perfect. I am commanding a fleet of ships that will represent a united Greece. I need Sparta to join me. Give me your ships, Gorgo. I'll make sure that Xerxes wishes he never crossed the Aegean. You'll receive no Spartan ships. We've no interest in a united Greece. That is your dream, Themistokles, not ours. All I am concerned with is the preservatio of Sparta. My guards will see you out. It's funny that you mock freedom here in your selfish isolation. Yet freedom, in her wisdom has chosen you to defend her. My queen. Will Sparta join our fight? Apparently the Persians have offered the Spartans something they cannot refuse. - And what is that? - A beautiful death. They say you are the bravest of our captives. They say you are a whore from the eastern seas. You're not the smartest. Your commander is a Greek. Just like me. Maurice: The king plans to behead her within the week. Francesca: He's accused you of adultery. Clarissa, dear, listen to me. I'm your mother. Let yourself be loved. It'll take us hours to dig her a grave. There's no one around to check us. Catherine: Make the blow sure and quick. Remember I've paid you extra. I don't want my children To see you hacking at me. Don't break the clasp. I've promised this to one of my ladies. Prawns? My youngest daughter can't eat them. The flowers. Full vases, cascading bouquets... Where are they? We were told by the king to save them For the actual day. I need to see their placement. What about the wine? 100 casks, flowing freely. The nobles will expect it. Yes, let them drink and swim in my blood And wonder who among them is next Once that bastard sebastian takes the throne. Come in, please. I'm nearly ready. No rush. They're bringing the horses around. No rush? I feel awful we stopped at all. You swear you didn't do it for me. Because I'm a terrible rider. We've gained time on horseback We never would have achieved by carriage. But we needed rest. The horses were about to drop as well. And, in truth, it may not matter. My mother might already be dead. Don't say that. You might think She deserves it after all she's done. To mary. I think even mary would say that's in the past. It will be soon If I can convince my father to spare her life. It's unbelievable, really. What? If all goes well, Bash begins his life with mary and I get exile. And my mother. Not for long. I'll set her up somewhere, far away, with my brothers And then... I'll be on to the next. Where will you go? I was thinking morocco. You don't think you'd stand out in morocco? Sweden then. Perhaps it's a land you'll visit one day, Walking along a frozen river, A displaced prince will appear in front of you. Well, I hope I never see you again. Because you're safe, settled. Married with children of your own. I hope the same for you. Francis, when you see mary... We ran into each other at a chateau outside of... Traveled with each other for a day, And that is all. I know you live your life in service to her. Mary is my friend. Nothing we did will change that. That was lovely. I think you should go now. Don't do this to yourself. I won't leave you. I need to know you're all right. If it comforts you. Why do you do it? Sometimes, when one is given a gift And worries they've lost it, They must return to its source... The giver itself. And for me That is death. Or as near death as I dare to venture. Stop it, please! The vision... I wasn't done. You saw something? This changes everything. I will die for this. The queen will kill me herself. What a show. She's going out in style. must I do everything? Shall I catch my head in my own hands, too? When can we talk about my tomb? A florentine sculptor? 20 tons of marble? I can't afford it. After the 100 musicians, The dozen ships made of silver and gold... Symbolic of my journey To heaven. I'm not asking for a fleet. You're not headed for heaven either. You're dragging this out. You have to wait for final word On bash's legitimization anyway. Why kill me if the line of succession reverts to my sons? You're a treasonous adulterer. Then I'll continue with the seating chart. Mary, the feast will be held there. Choose your place of honor. You are going to die. What they write about your execution won't matter. It will to my children. 50 musicians. I'll reduce the gold inlay on my tomb. What is that? There's a royal visitor. French court has gone to hell. but I'm here now, dear. Mother. So I sent you here to wed a king And find you engaged to a bastard. My darling, your engagement To francis was a careful negotiation set in place When you were six. And now you tell me That you threw it all away because of a prophecy. One I believe, mother. I did this and bash went along with it to save francis's life. From a fate a magician predicted. Mother, it's all very... Complicated. And we haven't been together in so long. I came to the convent for your 11th birthday. Half the ship's crew died along the way, But I was there. Gift in hand. I only meant to say that... I've missed you. And I wanted to talk to you about this, about francis, About bash, a-about everything. Please don't make light of nostradamus's warning Or my choice. I make light of nothing concerning you Or our country's future. Perhaps if you met bash. He's-he's kind and-and selfless and brave. Do you love him? I'm beginning to. It all happened so fast. Good. Perhaps there's still time for you to see things With a clear mind. I've wanted to be with you as well, But there is trouble at home. Scotland is in peril. The english, I know. It's worse. Our country is on the knife's edge Of falling into protestantism. And we are catholic rulers. You need France, a catholic country, at your side now. Marry its next king, And the protestants will scurry into the darkness. Marry francis. Not some bastard who someday might be king. His name is sebastian. Has the same ring to it. Well, I have no choice But to support you, As I rule scotland but you are Actually its queen. And my daughter. So headstrong. So loving. So you'll be patient? Yes. Mary. Are you all right? Is all well with your mother? Yes. She's just as I remember her, In ways that I often thought I had imagined. I used to love the smell of her perfume, The-the tenor of her voice... Even now, When she lied to me. She doesn't want us getting married. She will stop it. We have to elope. Today. Now. Bash: There's a church just east of the old village, by the quarry. I wish that I could come with you. Let me get it All arranged. It might take a few hours, And if we're both missing, people will notice. If I'm not back by midday, we have our priest. Get on a horse and meet me at the church before sunset. Don't plan on sleeping this night, wife. Marie: At least you're moving about Freely now. Guarded, but with the mobility Required to plan my death. How was the dungeon? Were there fleas? Were you paraded through the town, mocked? Hmm. I was in the tower. I realize you're not happy with the turn events have taken, But must you paint a bleaker picture of my fall? I trusted you with mary's life. Not just her survival, Though I hear you threatened that, too. I gave up every moment of being a mother to my own child, Based on your word That you would raise her to be francis's wife. What did you think, when you traded a child For the protection of France? That we would put her welfare above ours? Lord knows you didn't. You gave her away to secure your rule. I had an infant, A girl, not even a week old when my husband died, And she was crowned queen. I met unexpected horrors and tragedy And I faced them with courage. You... One charlatan scared you by whispering in your ear About your son's death... A future no one could know... And you changed the course of nations. Nostradamus's accuracy is an inarguable feat. Here's a feat: Women like you and me, surviving in this age. I have sold my soul, and my child, To protect myself and my nation. Mary may be scotland's queen But I am its king. Has scotland noticed that its king Has rather overexposed breasts? It is beginning to. Ah. Now that mary's come of age, they look beyond me, They want her, and I want her protected by France. France's true king. Not some bastard they can knock off the throne, Whose life only took form Because you couldn't keep your husband's interest in bed. I am defeated. If you want to fix this, do it yourself. Ah, here it is. My mother had it packed deep in one of my trunks. Well, it's beautiful, but will it be warm enough? This isn't for your journey to the chapel. It's for you to cover your face As you and bash stand before god and profess your love. Is that lola? Why is she with francis? Lola: Mary. Kenna, greer. Your grace. You're back. Both of you. Uh, your carriage, Why didn't they announce your arrival at the gate? We ran into each other at a chateau near angers. You came back together? We rode. There were floods. The carriage I leased Was swept away in the night. Can you imagine? Kenna: Along the river. You were at the chateau de martin? You know it? Yes. dirty your hands tearing my heart I'll get settled then. into pieces so happy to be back. Yes, we're happy to have you back. if this is the end then we whisper the wind and release it... You heard about your mother. I'm so sorry. I'm back to plead with my father for her life. I'll be gone from court once I have my answer And the matter is settled, And you and I will never see each other again. I don't mean that to sound cruel or angry. I understand. You don't want to be seen as someone lying in wait To reclaim your throne. Or anything else that now belongs to my brother. They brought this back, after clarissa's death. I thought you might want to have it, As you were more parent to her than I. They buried her in an unmarked grave Near the lake, Where the north road ends. I asked them to mark it with a cross, But it's unhallowed ground. What will become of her soul, I wonder? Did she know any happiness in her miserable life? When she was young. The villagers who raised her for a time were kind. How do you know that? She spoke of them. Of their games. A song they'd sing to calm her to sleep. Sometimes, I'd hear her sing it softly, to herself. How lonely. And haunting. Yes. I'm going to tell you something that might enrage you. Since mary's arrival, I've had visions of francis's death. Violent images. They vary, but they were always tied to mary. But they stopped completely when clarissa died. I have beckoned them, every way I know how, Because I had to be sure. Sure of what? That francis might live with mary. How can that be possible? I warned you that francis, your firstborn, Would die because of mary... You were very clear. ...Before either of us knew clarissa was your firstborn. The blood that has been spilled, My blood yet, Was because of what you foresaw. It's not a science, it's a gift. Sometimes I hear voices, other times it's a feeling, A certainty as solid as stone. And this new feeling? It came to me today. I saw their life together, and it is happy. After dinner, and your usual game of catch with anne, James is going to want your attention, too, with his reading. I'll have him work on it. You promise. Promise me, I mean it. They have children, as he is alive. Children? You see them years beyond their union? Yes. Use this to save yourself. Tell henry you've had a change of heart. That you won't stand in the way of their union. This has gone so far beyond me standing in the way of anything. I am convicted of adultery! Of treason! Mary is with sebastian. And my son francis... Has returned to court. You are brave to come to me with this. Because if I can't convince mary to wed francis, If I can't undo your mistakes, I will lose my head. But not before I watch you burned to death. I promise you that. Catherine: Francis! Mother. Ah, it's true! You're back! Oh, thank god. They tell me father's out hunting pheasant Beyond the south keep. I'm going to find him, Get him to see reason, And I'll get you away from here. No, no, francis. There's something else that you must do. Everything I did, I did for you. You needn't remind me. I need you to forget all of it. What? Everything I warned you of. The warnings I gave mary. Go to her, tell her that I believe The two of you can be wed. I don't understand. Your fate has changed. Oh, what does it matter? You never believed That nostradamus had the power To see the future anyway. What matters is that you love mary. I did love mary. You destroyed that. Nonsense. She's with bash now, but she loves you. You don't know that. I don't know that. What matters is what you want. Is it mary? Is it to save my life? Is it the throne of France? Is it the safety of your brothers? Say it, say it! I know it's true! Yes. Yes, of course, I want all those things. Then tell mary I will cause her no harm ever. And that she will cause you no harm By loving you. By marrying you. Go to her. Marie: But do it quickly. I see your son's return has restored your will to live. It's because he will live. Your magic has changed. How silly and marvelous. You don't believe in prophecies, do you? No, I never did. You're... Marie de guise. Your future mother-in-law, If you so desire. If you get on your horse, and stop mary From making the biggest mistake of her life. Where is she? Heading for a church near a quarry. The servants talked about a village Nearly destroyed by the plague. Yes, I bribed them. He may as well know Who I am, if we're to be kin. I know the place. Then hurry. His hands on everything you want. Your majesty, a messenger has arrived. He said there's news regarding the line of succession. About sebastian? He awaits you in your throne room. Brother? Francis. I'm going to tell you something. And it will hurt. I know you're here to elope with mary. You don't need to. All that nonsense about the prophecy, It's gone now. My mother's let it go For reasons she can explain. I'm going to tell mary. She'll talk to my mother, to nostradamus. She'll be convinced. She won't trust catherine. I don't trust catherine. You don't want things to change, to revert. You're going to play on mary's fear. She came to me willingly. And she will stay with me. She turned to you because she had to. It was only a marriage of convenience. And what was yours? It went beyond that. You know it. And now you know Ours did, too. You're lying. You entitled son of a bitch. You. You're nothing. Stop! Francis! Bash! Stop! Stop! Please, stop! You don't have to marry him! It's all over! My mother, nostradamus, They say we can be wed. What do you mean? There is no prophecy keeping us apart. Please, listen... Does it matter? Mary, nothing needs to change. We can still be wed. What do you mean, no prophecy? Even nostradamus will tell you. Your fate is your own when it comes to who will you marry. Him or me. I knew he would get to you in time. Did your seer tell you that, too? Is this a game to you? Nostradamus told me the prophecy was fulfilled. With clarissa's death. How can I believe you when you have so much to lose? oh, god, what are you doing? Do nothing, and I will die. Watch me, if that's what it takes To convince you I'm not putting My life ahead of my son's. I never have. Stop this. I'll be beheaded if you don't choose francis anyway. I'd rather die today To show you that I mean every word that I say. Is this some kind of trick? Test me. Ask nostradamus to explain How the future he sees for you and francis Has altered since clarissa's death. Oh, yes. Be sure. Be very sure. I would want every certainty, too. I'm not sure. I'm not sure about anything. I believe you, but... You don't know what you want. I love them. I love them both. Begging your pardon, your majesties, But the king demands your presence. A messenger has arrived with news About the line of succession of England. Their queen... Is dead. And she has named me her successor? After all her deliberations, they say she died Suddenly... In the night. But England is yours by bloodline, by right. You must claim it immediately, Or your cousin elizabeth will seize it from your grasp. You risk everything if you don't act now. If you want the vatican's righteous support For anything you do, for the rest of your life, You will claim England now. If you want France as an ally, You will claim England now. If you want to take England, you will need The next king of France by your side. And you will wed One of my sons tonight. I will take my life in my own hands. And I will not be bullied by you. Lady kenna requests a visit, your majesty. No. She requests that I inform you that she's naked under her robe. Send her in. It's nice to see you're still on your feet. What does that mean? I watched you Take it lying down for weeks now, From all the women in your life. You don't like being bossed around By a girl, do you? Is this meant to arouse? I was wrong to blame and demand things of you. I should have blamed you, absolutely. I also should have offered you more of what you'd like For what I'd like. You're offering me sex for a husband? I could get sex anywhere. Not from me. How little it would take for you To write me an introduction or two. You're not exactly inspiring me to send you away. What if I offered to stay here at the castle, Even if I were married, At your beck and call? You'd have diane. I'd have my station, My position. Find me a rich noble Who treats me right, And I'll treat you right, as well. You've learned many skills at court. Teach me more. One suitor a week until I choose. Agreed? Agreed. No. No more. I'm in charge now. Have you found my mother? I need her now, more than ever. They said she's with the king. Trying to wring more out of henry Before I'm married to anyone, no doubt. But who will you marry? Have you spoken with bash? No. Francis? Catherine: Could we have a moment? What an eventful day. Francis's return, News of The queen's death... And this. News from the vatican. If this letter confirms sebastian's legitimization, It should take away any reservations You have about a bastard at your side instead of a king, As bash will be king one day. If it denies his legitimization, How could bash blame you for returning to francis? I know you think you love them both. While that may be true, I argue that you love one more. I am afraid. Open it. Now you're free To go to the man you love. I can't marry you. Yes, you can. Don't let your mother put ideas in your head About my ability to protect you, because I will be king. We can force the pope's hand. I know that. With me, You are free and wild. You can be who you are, And I will always put you first. Please, don't. Say that you love me. Say it to me once, because I know that you do. I love you, I do. Say it. Say the rest. I need to hear it. I love francis more. What's this? Open it. It's blank. it's nothing. She let me decide. It's odd, isn't it? That your mother was the one To show me what was truly in my heart. You. It's you. It's always been you. Does this mean you'll marry me? Yes. We must protect sebastian. There are those who will punish him For reaching for the throne. Of course. I'll make sure of it. I am sorry for the way things have gone. But the outcome is this. You need to leave here And never come back. You've reached for the crown, And you failed to get it. You'll be seen by many as a threat. The crown was never in my grasp, But I had mary, and it galls you. I was going to disappear in exile. That's your goal now, if you want to survive. My guards will take you south of here To a ship set for the southern coast of Spain, And from there, you should keep going. You needed to vanish Because you would have been a displaced king. But I'm just a bastard. In time, A very short time, if you'd accepted my presence, The nobles would, too, and I'd be safe. If you were so inclined. I'm not so inclined. Well, there it is... The truth between us at last. Make sure what's between us, brother, is distance. If you want to survive. Marie: So, we'll do another ceremony for you At notre dame, so that all of France Can celebrate your marriage. And what of queen catherine? She's been pardoned for her adultery? Yes. It was all to legitimize bash. Now henry looks benevolent, forgiving. Your father gave me these. Make some heirs quick as you can. It's a queen's sons that give her power after all, Though we've handled The misfortune of your sex, haven't we? Brave girls are we. Greer said you were upset. I came to your room last night to cheer you with hot cocoa, But your servant said you were meeting with the king. So? It was very late. If you're back with him, I think it's a mistake. I know the château you claim to stay at in angers Where you ran into francis. It burned down last year. I don't know what happened Between the two of you, but I can guess, So please don't counsel me on mistakes. Come along, girls, be of service to your queen. Girl: oh, my sweetest child god's smile behind your eyes in his hand, in our arms you will find no harm. Who are you? Why are you singing that song? I was told to sing it near you. By who? I was paid by another who was paid by a girl... I don't know who. She's dead. That girl is dead. It's impossible. The messenger who delivered the news Of the english queen's death isn't here. I suppose he knew he'd served his purpose And that your invitation was a mere courtesy, A thanks for giving us both what we want. You bribed him to bear false news. To get the job done, As you failed in that task completely. You can thank me later. the power of love a force from above cleaning my soul flame on, burn desire love with tongues of fire purge the soul make love your goal I... hmm... the power of love a skyscraping dove... flame on, burn desire love with tongues of fire... Clarissa. She's alive. I'll be kind if you'll be faithful you be sweet and I'll be grateful fortune teller said I'd be free and that's the day you came to me mmm, mmm came to me mmm, mmm da-da-de-dah-dah da-dum-da-da-dum come to me, my sweetest friend can you feel my heart again? I'll take you back where you belong and this will be our favorite song come to me with secrets bare I'll love you more, so don't be scared and when we're old and near the end we'll go home and start again mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. You missed the wedding. I thought it best. I've been thinking about what's best For all of us as well. I'm leaving. You needn't worry. And yet I do. So you won't be leaving us just yet. I have some news to share. Turns out the english queen isn't dead after all. The english queen is alive? But I would keep the news to yourself. You did this. To see me married. The messenger's news was flawed. No one could blame that on me. Or you. Everyone needs a little push on occasion. Even queens. Even France. All happiness comes with a price. And you paid yours with another's broken heart. Sebastian... Will survive. It's time for the consummation. A moment, please. Get out. Get out of my life. Get out of France. But you have everything you ever wanted. And more power than you. I'm your mother. I am ruling scotland For you... Do that. And mind me, do it well. When I return to scotland, to our home, It will either be because you have failed, Or because you are dead. Mary: After dinner, your usual game of catch With anne, james is going To want your attention, too, with his reading. I'll have him work on it. You promise? Promise me, I mean it. Promise me you'll try. One year of marriage, it isn't enough. Fight, francis, please. I will give you children. Don't give up on our dreams. On the life we could have. Such a beautiful dream. no. No, francis, don't leave me. Catherine: So many years before them. I know I threatened you. In truth, I'm so glad You had the courage to tell me How their fate had changed. Yes. They will be together. For many years. I do this not out of any malice, as you are my son, But to ensure peace. So that should you return, You have seared into your memory What is yours and what is not. my baby wide-eyed pretty you're a body I can hold I'm a good man too. You're not a very trusting fellow, are you? I was a lot more trusting before you took my weapons. You'll get those back as soon as you leave us. They say you're a threat to the realm. But your family wants you safe. Alive. Yes. You're not thirsty? I have my own, thanks. Who paid you to kill me? The queen or my brother? Captioning sponsored by cbs productions Captioned by media access group at wgbh access.Wgbh.Org Girl: Oh, no. In the Basement Good morning, darling. Time to get up. Mommy's here. Hi there. You were sound asleep. Good morning, my little mouse. Sweetheart. My little one. My little Luki. Will you come to Mommy? Do you want to come to Mommy? Darling. My little darling. Time to get up. Mommy's here. Good girl. I have such a good girl. Wait here. your master will be right back. He just has to close up. Come, come here! Come on! Not so far! Come on! Come back. That's it. Come on, sweetie. Come to your master. That's it, to your master. Come, you old dear. Come, you old dear. Come, we're going in. There. So, please come. Come along. Good girl! Always keep this finger straight. At most like this, always away. Why? To avoid the trigger. People always have their finger on it. It goes off and someone's dead. There was just another incident in the army. Some guy shot another in the neck. "Weapon malfunction," it says in the paper. Malfunction? He had his finger there and pressed. And it fired. All shooters, 99% of them. Hunters too. always have their finger in there. It happens so fast. Your finger's the no. 1 danger. He picks up his gun, finger in there, and it goes off. You take it like this, with your finger out. The animals hanging behind me... This one here's an oryx. That's an impala. A nyala, waterbuck, young nyala, kudu. Old waterbuck, white-tailed gnu, female Warthog. Gnu, bontebok, jackal, Warthog. Jackal. Two bonteboks and a bushbuck. That's... And a few baboon friends that my brother shot. I bagged some too down there. But otherwise down there I usually shoot with a Steyr-Mannlicher 868 S caliber. I have to say it's the best caliber for antelope and game because so far I've never missed a shot. And never needed more than one shot for an animal, thank God. There are enough sleepers in Austria. It's them we should fear. Not normal people. Them. And, unfortunately, there's also... There didn't used to be... preachers of hate. They preach hatred in Austria. Why? I don't agree. You have to... investigate who's doing it, who's stirring up hatred. The Koran has both. The Koran has evil and bad- I mean, good in it. It's not just bad. I was talking with him and asked, "What are you?" He says, "I'm an Austrian." I go, "Sure, but at the European Cup you scream "Turkiye, Turkiye!" He says, "Yeah, I'm Austrian, but I'm Turkish." You see? But he's more Turkish. Even if he was born here. It's a typical case of oriental logic. - They can't think logically. - He has Austrian papers... They can't think logically. Because Islam teaches them that logic is something that goes against God. But it's not true. Only God can think. But some of them graduate as engineers. Then why do they still need German and European technicians and engineers in the Emirates and Saudi Arabia, if they have such brains down there. - How many can go to university? - Fritz, he's right. If there are 100,000 idiots, and one smart guy, that doesn't make 'em all smart. That's the typical generalization. - He's the exception. - A positive generalization. 100,000 Turkish malcontents screw our girls if they're blondes in miniskirts. Just 'cause 10 don't... And they proudly declare, "We're fucking your women!" Before, a race - Turks or whatever, other primitive races like Huns... When they came up here. they'd slaughter our men take the women prisoner and enslave the children. They'd rape the women to show "Now you belong to us. Now you are our subjects." Do you know about that? - I majored in history in high school. - So you know, unless you were absent. You know what I'd ban first in Austria? The burka. No woman in Austria should run around wearing one. - I myself saw this in Schiinbrunn... - It's not part of the Koran. It was invented by men. - I saw this guy walking ahead... - By jealous, insecure men... His wife behind with her stroller. You could only see her eyes. It was hot, you wouldn't believe. And dressed completely in black... In the supermarket, you can ask my wife... Him in shorts. carrying his son, behind him wife and daughter dressed head to toe in black. - Leaving a trail of sweat behind... - The smell was horrible. People who deny it... lie to themselves. Or they are simply stupid. - They are centuries... - They've had bad experiences... They are centuries behind. - 500 years. - 300. Sweetheart. My little baby. My Emmi mouse. You little darling. You're so big now, you can hug Mommy. That feels so good. Little sweetheart. My sweet little mouse. My teeny-tiny sweet little mouse. We don't want you to get cold. You're my pretty princess in white. My princess. I'm so happy I have you. Mommy's always with you. Mommy always comes. That's right. Hello, I'm home. Yeah, what is it? I'm in the middle of it. We'll take care of it. We'll manage. We'll get it done. Don't worry about it. Yeah. Fine. Bye. I do like my drink. It goes hand in hand with playing. It's a given. A morning break drink. Before that, three spritzers just so I can talk. Then, with the morning break drink, 10 spritzers. And afterwards a few shots, because everything's gone so well. But I'm predisposed because my whole family drinks. Is dinner ready? This is our basement den. We don't use it as often as before. - We used to celebrate birthdays here. - We don't celebrate here anymore. My son was a musician, he'd play for us. On birthdays, Christmas, New Year's. We always had such a good time. We had Mardi Gras parties. We had Mardi Gras parties, but... that's all over. Yup, pretty much. The carpets here, actually... I'm no fan... I'm no fan of carpets, but my wife... It doesn't fit upstairs, but it cost a lot, so I put it down here. - Nowadays... - But still, we're happy like this. ...terracotta tiles cost less than these did back then. The cupboard cost 22,000. The bench seat cost 21 .000 schillings back then. The cupboards were all very expensive. But it's not as pretty as what you get today. If I'd become a singer, I'd have sung the great in-between roles... Othello, or Manrico in "Trovatore," who sits well in my voice. Riccardo in "Un Ballo." Alvaro in "La Forza del Destino." And also of course the lyrical roles. Rodolfo in "Bohéme," who sits well in my voice, with my radiant high C I'd have sung many of the lyrical roles because of my lovely piano. But with the size of my voice I could've sung the in-between roles. Perhaps I'd have sung Wagner. We'll never know, because I didn't try. But it might've been possible. In the room we're in now, neighbors often come visit. At least once a week. Then there are my band mates. We rehearse here. They get something to drink if they want. And even if they don't want. This is the cozy room where I spend most of my time. An older man is sitting on the bus opposite a pretty young woman. His fly is open. The young woman says, "Sir, I think your Wiener is half out." He says, "You'll laugh, Miss, but that's all there is." The Hitler portrait behind me was a wedding gift from the guys at work and my buddies. Opening it, I went out of my mind. I wanted to rush right home and hang it up in the basement. It was the most wonderful wedding present I got. We go almost every year, so... It must be at least 18 years now. We drive up to Germany, up to the Fuhrer's headquarters. To Berchtesgaden, and then to the Eagle's Nest. Because it interests me. A couple of times now they've questioned me. The police. The Gestapo, or whatever. It's not called the Gestapo anymore. I'm on their list. My name shows up. They look in their computer: "Ochs, Josef. Marz... Holy Christ!" It means you have quite a record. My sweet little mouse. Sophia, Sophia. My darling. Your cheeks are all red. Are you warm? We'll take your bonnet off. Look, where are we? Look, in Daddy's basement. Look! At night he's down here at the computer. He works all night. Look, my little mouse. Look at all the paper he needs. That doesn't interest you, sure. It's fun, you can watch TV. Look, sweetie. You can see yourself in the TV. Look! Look, my baby. Those are all places where Daddy's been. Look. Where's that? In Australia, he travelled by bus. He saw crocodiles. No, Mommy doesn't like them. Or over in India. It was so filthy, he didn't like it either. And up here, the red pin, that's where we are, sweetie. That's where you and I are, in Daddy's room. The green pins are where he's going this summer. All the way up to the cold, cold icebergs. I've never eaten baboon, but I've tasted every other animal. Take the rancher. who won't eat Warthog... My wife made Wiener Schnitzel from Warthog. The rancher asked, "What is it?" My wife said, "Wiener Schnitzel." His cook was about to tell him what it was. I said to her. "Tell him and I'll slap you!" I said we'd tell him later ourselves. He doesn't eat Warthog. But he loved it. I asked. "Know what you just ate? Warthog." "No way. That was a Wiener Schnitzel." I said, "See how wrong you can be?" 'Cause a Warthog doesn't have dark meat like our wild boar. Warthog meat is light, like turkey. But wonderful, and very, very tasty. A man is always young and trim, For him time stands still Meanwhile his wife will age. Pointless to express outrage Or mourn her youth or shed tears, in truth For what's left of her days. as she helplessly decays While he, with vigor blessed. Beats on his heroic chest He feels again his vigor grow, His manhood stiffens down below Whenever a lass he spies, A superman, he feels with pride Since ere the world began its highest principle is man Are you doing a good job? I want the bathroom spotless. Yes, mistress. Spotless! No slacking! Yes, mistress. Thank you, mistress. I was always very dominant. But it's not that I try to impose my will on other people. That's not at all who I am. I respect other people. For me, it's very important to respect people. But I enjoy it and... I like that when I say something. it'll be done. I absolutely adore my love slave. And the opposite is also true: He worships me. I doesn't affect our love - on the contrary. Only with total devotion and love can something like this work. If I don't have absolute trust in this person. And similarly if he doesn't have trust in me, his mistress. He can't let go completely and can't serve me 100%. It's a huge sign of trust. Of course I'm aware that I'm responsible for everything here. And that can only work if it's based on absolute love. Pig, come here. Make sure you do a good job. That's enough. Thank you, mistress. I used to be in sales. But now, I don't know. I don't like retail anymore. You're expected to be. like, a machine. You have to be friendly. no matter how rude people are. They can insult you and you go. "I don't need this, I don't have to take this." And in sales, work hours keep getting longer. I don't like that. So I thought I'd look around and maybe change fields. I realized I seem to really get along with prostitutes. Because, as funny as it may sound, they like me. I don't know why, but... with most of them I don't have to pay. Which is of course very nice. And I learned from a prostitute pretty much everything I know today to make other women happy. So, sit down. Yes, master. So, let me see. It's a lovely view. The men you meet are often lots of fun. I mean, each ones different. One's fat, one's thin. Some men have big ones. some have small ones. Some men shoot huge loads, others almost nothing. My potency lies in. as I discovered at some point, that I can shoot off a very powerful load of semen. With it I've left many women pretty amazed. Because, and here I'm only guessing... because it must smack the vaginal wall pretty hard when I come. And ladies must like to feel that. And if I do the famous coitus interruptus, and pull out and then shoot. The ladies are amazed at the load that comes out of me. Otherwise my potency isn't very different from other people's. It's just my pressures really strong when it shoots out. - Thank you, mistress. - The kilo weight! - One, mistress? - Yes, one. Look, the cock weight's slipped again. I put such lovely ornaments on my penis, but they keep slipping. - You can do the dishes now. - Thank you, mistress. Let's check your posture. It's my cock. It's my scrotum. My slave's body belongs to me. I have total control over it. I decide... I mean, except for personal hygiene, of course. That's very important. At first he had to wear a chastity belt, because I forbid him to jerk off. He's not allowed to. Now it's no longer necessary, he doesn't need it. He doesn't masturbate. Only when I give him permission. When the horn sounds the hunt, And mama feels an itch in front And papa grows a hard-on. Spring will soon warm the garden. The bedroom is the zone for tenderness. It's where I get my tenderness. I mean, I am a woman. I like snuggling too. Being caressed, getting tenderness. That's what's... so great about our relationship. I can get exactly what I want. So this is the zone for tenderness. Outside, in the living room and other rooms, it's more the zone for domination. When I want to be really dominant with him, I take him to the basement. Because the basement is arranged in accordance with my ideas. My love slave was permitted to build it. It's the extremely dominant zone. I'm very dominant there. Open it. Close the door. This is my tool cabinet with all its different items. For example. different sizes of butt plugs. Here's the metal one, which I really like. Because of the material, its coolness. It allows a range of possibilities for stretching the rectum. Quite wide, in fact. A lovely little toy. I also have different kinds of dildos. Like this one here. I can strap it on my upper thigh and fuck my love slave from behind. I also really enjoy using the humbler. Here's the slaves bum. his upper thighs fit here. It's worn in a kneeling position. The scrotum goes in here. You clamp it in. and he's unable to stand up. He has to follow me on all fours and it pulls back hard on the scrotum, of course. It's very unpleasant for him. And I of course enjoy it. Naturally. A toast! A toast! Let's drink to our well-being! A meter forward A meter backward A meter downward A meter upward And bottoms up Prost. Prost. So you think life's shitty? - It is. - Just find some place nice. I like the way things used to be. What do you mean? Down here you sense every little thing. You can really taste the grapes. It seems to me. I think so too. I agree with you. You can taste the Silvaner grapes, the Muscat. I can sense my old lady. What's your old lady want? She coming to the basement? You mean, if we stay too long? Really? - She'll come? - Yeah, in a bikini. In a bikini? I'm gonna wait then. I'll wait till she shows up. Till she arrives in a bikini. - This I want to see. - Me too. Will she dance for us? Sure, she'll dance. She could get lost in such a big basement. It's roomy enough. - How long have you been married? - An eternity. - How long? - 25, 24 years. What? - 24 years. - How much longer will she want you? I can't say for sure. We're heading down a long road. She's built to last. So, I'll show you your future room. Shut the door. I'm a masochist. I like pain of every kind. Needles through my nipples. Needles in my back. I've had two needle corsets. Blows of all kinds, with marks, without marks. Slaps. Verbal humiliation, being scolded. That sort of thing. I can free my mind. totally let go. And simply enjoy. Simply be myself. It's wonderful. I need it. Bend over it. Spread your feet. As wide as you can. Nice. - Do you like whips? - Yes, Master Walter. Count out loud. - One. - Good. Two. Three. I met my first husband when I'd just turned 15. We were together 7 years before we married. For me the marriage was like a death sentence. In quotations. He thought I was his property. That's how he treated me. He beat me when he was drunk. When he was high. That went on for about 3 or 4 years. Until one day he strangled me. And I'd had enough. I told him he should let me go. I'd come right back. I put my daughter to bed, left her room and stabbed him with a knife. Six. Seven. Ow! Twelve. - Come now. - Thank you, Master Walter. Good girl. It's not even warm yet. And then I met Marcel. He was the first man. I got into SM with. He showed me all kinds of things, candle wax and everything. Until alcohol also came into play. When he was drunk he had no taboos. He tortured me to the extreme with needles, whips, you name it. Until I ran away covered in blood. I was in hospital. laid charges against him. He got 4 years. Which he had to serve. And that was that. One. - Two. - A children's toy. From Toys "R" Us. They have lots of fun things. Five. Six. It's turning pink. I work for Caritas. the Catholic charity. I work with abused women. There are cases where I have to think. "How can that happen? How can we watch that?" But I went through it myself. And I can only say. If someone is violent. Just leave. Pack your things. There's always help. That's it. When you can't sit for three days. Maybe we should get you lederhosen. Do you like it? - No. - No? In my experience, most men aren't interested if a women climaxes. They only care if they get their money's worth. Then there are those who are too tender. They're not my type either. For me, the perfect combination in a man is: He's made a place for himself. He does his share of housework, and in terms of sex, he takes the lead. That's just me. I need a man like that. Someone I can do whatever I want with is, sexually, not for me. I might as well get a dog or something. When it comes to sex. the man has to be in charge. In every way. He has to take me when he wants, where he wants. I'm just Woman. just a sex object for this man. And I need that. And I like it. You're right. I swear... Seriously. How are you getting home? - Leave your horn here. - I'll take it. - Leave it here. - I'll drop it off tomorrow. - By bus. I promise. - With the graveyard shift. I'm the Fuhrer of this party. - I'll take it with me. - No, leave it here. Leave it. You'll bust it. - We need it. - You guys have no sense of reality. Of what's real. How will you get home? I have to open the door first. How will you get home? With who? - First, you can't drive. - Why not? You can't drive your car. Let him get some fresh air. You're so pretty. The princess on the pea. Little mouse. But you want to sleep. I can see how tired you are. Yes my love. Lullaby and goodnight With roses bedight With lilies o'er spread ls baby's wee bed Tomorrow morn, if God deems You will wake from your dreams Tomorrow morn, if God deems You will wake from your dreams - Do you recognize that sound? - Yes, mistress. You know how much I love to pull you up on your balls. Oh yes, mistress. - Ease it a little? - As you wish, mistress. Or do you beg me to pull harder? Harder, please, mistress. - I can't hear your. - Harder, please, mistress. - And? - Please, mistress. That's better. - After all. - Thank you, mistress. After all. I always have to tell you twice. Now you're so nicely raised by your balls. - What's that? Why did you flinch? - Please forgive me. You lie before me like a pig hoisted by its balls. Yeah? Yeah, I know. I'll just wash our glasses and then come. Bye. Miss Russo. Mi... Miss Russo, it's Danny Ferman. You ca... So that's it? You don't need anything else from me besides my statement? There isn't much to do until we get toxicology. But I can tell you now it's gonna say smack. Okay. She was a witness on the Malcolm Miller case. Usually kill 'em before they testify. She lied on the stand. - I've seen it a thousand times. They finally think they're clean, then something stresses them out. Like the trial. And they just have a little too much. I'll call you when I get the tox. But I promise you, she OD'd. What about the juror assault? Any leads on that? We're still looking. I'll send you a copy of the report when I get one. Hey, tell your father not to be such a stranger. I'm forgetting how ugly his mug is. You're lucky you didn't get his looks. Oh, shit. So you're telling me your sister is on a TV that is completely cut off from any sort of signal? Yes, that is why I need to call her now. - Anna, you know it's against the rules. Only one 5-minute call at the end of each day. You know, it's easier to just deliberate and get it over with then to try to get out of it. If I tell the judge you think people are trying to talk to you through a TV that's not even connected, what do you think she's going to say? You're right. Look, Anna, I know it sucks being down here, but look at the bright side. Maybe you'll make a friend or two. Hey. Sorry I'm late. - No, menstrual cycles are late, lawyers are on time. Time is money, isn't that right? Yeah. It's 7:30 in the morning. It's 7:51, actually. Hi. Can I get you a drink, sir? - Coffee. He'll have a Bud. I'll have coffee. And he's had enough. This is my first. Right, Danielle? Just messing with you. Why do you do that? - What, screw with you? Because I can. You're my son. Thank you. I'm sorry I can't be 15 minutes early like you are. I have an actual job I go to. - Collecting disability, I'm sure, is not as time-consuming as whatever you're doing. Do you two need a minute? I can come back. No. It's fine. What are you having, Dad? I'm buying. I'll have a couple of scrambled. Is that all? You don't want bacon? You love bacon. Get bacon. He loves bacon. Get him some bacon. Rye toast. Right? And I'll have scrambled egg whites and avocado. Thank you. Avocado? Is that what you eat with your lawyer friends? Avocado. - I'll be right back. Why do we... Can we just, like, try to have a normal conversation of some kind? I'm not starting anything. - Fine. Fine, okay. What did you do yesterday? Same. You win or lose? You look like you just got out of an all-night game. Dad, sitting second chair on this case was a really big deal for me. Okay? You could just maybe, I don't know, pretend... Pretend to be proud. I just don't want you to do anything you're gonna regret. Or are you just taking pot shots at me because I didn't become a cop like you? Were. - Listen to me. Are you proud of what you do? This is what you do, man. This is... You know, you dig at me and you dig at my job. And you know what? I don't need it. I don't want it. I... I'm just gonna go, Dad. See you. A big winner. Hold the avocado. Yes, it should be a bipartisan effort. We have a historic opportunity here. We pass this bill, we have the most stringent gun regulations in the country. We can create a real precedent. Look, I need you to get behind me on this. You. Not anybody else. Well, you tell me when is the right time? Sharon, don't forget you owe me. If you need me to remind you, why, I will. Thank you, Sharon. You won't regret this. ILLEGAL FIREARMS TRACED TO SMUGGLING NETWORK Good morning. Okay. Good morning, everyone. Let's get started. - Shouldn't we wait for Anna? I got my ass up out of bed on time, now I gotta wait? Well, while we're waiting, I just wanna put this out there to everyone that if we keep an open mind, there's no reason why we can't go home today. Excuse me, before we actually start, can I make a quick announcement? It's a query. I am missing a very nice pen. A Montblanc. Has anyone seen it? Is that directed at me? - No. Have you seen it? No. - Okay, if anyone does see it, I would very much like it back. It was a gift from my wife on our anniversary. Aw, that's so sweet. We're deliberating a murder case and you're talking about a pen. This pen happens to be worth more than you make in a month, so you can go fuck yourself. Yeah, I'll do that. - Charles. He's... Anna. Good. I'm sorry. - No, no. We're about to get started. Have a seat. Please. So we can get out of here. Anna and everyone, we are required to be here on time. We have a lot of work to do and it's not fair to the others if we're late. Yes, it won't happen again. I'm sorry. Okay. I thought it might be helpful today if we watch the confession again. Why? And I don't know how it happened. I don't. Danny, come into my office, please. I heard about what happened last night. That was crazy. Must've been a horrible thing to discover. First time I've seen a dead body. It was shocking. I bet. I bet. Did the police give you any trouble? Because if they did, I can take care of it. You know I've got you covered. Thank you, Henry. No, I think I'm good. She'd been dead for a couple of hours. Ruled me out as a suspect. And she had a history of abuse, so they're pretty confident it was an OD. Right. What were you doing there in the first place? She had called the office looking for me, so I was just following up. I see. So you didn't actually speak with her? No. No. Bad timing. I assume she had something to tell me about the trial or her testimony. - So it's not a total loss. Not to be insensitive, but it is lucky you found her body when you did. I'm looking into the possibility of a mistrial or better yet, if the police find anything suspicious, I'll argue for the charges to be dropped altogether. So good work, Danny. That's not why I brought you in here. Rodriguez bank robbery case? - It's yours. I thought Burke was handling it. - He was. Now you are. - Burke was first chair. Danny, you've earned it. Plain and simple. Now get out of my office before I change my mind. Yes, sir. Thank you. I will not let you down. I bet you won't. But that is a big case, so you better get to work. I'll have Burke bring the case files to your office. Thank you, sir. Danny, that's wonderful. You've gotta be the youngest attorney in the firm to sit on a case this big. I don't know. Listen, here, hey. I was gonna give this to you at dinner, but it feels appropriate here. Danny. Oh, my God. I saw it and I thought of you. It's beautiful. Here, here, here. - Can we afford this? I had some stocks pay out dividends. You know. Can't a guy do something nice for this girl? Yes, he can. I love you. Wait, you didn't get this off that dead girl, did you? Wow. Wow. - Just checking. I'm just... pushed too far to his throat. Did you know... - I don't know. Tell me how. Say it. Yeah, I would've. - How? I don't know, okay? No, it was an accident. I didn't want him dead. You must've choked it back into his windpipe, right? Yeah. Yeah, it was an accident. Charles. - Yeah. So there it is. How can you choke someone to death if he could still breathe through his nose? He could've been face down in the trunk of the car. Malcolm Miller shoved that rag so far in the back of that boy's throat that it didn't matter that his nose was open. Charles is right. If you shove something far enough in the back of somebody's throat, it cuts off the airflow from the nose. What the hell does it matter? You heard that man. He confessed. If the police went after me, I'd tell them what they wanted to hear too. Yeah, they were like really mean. Regardless, there is something about this confession that rings true. - This is a police recorded confession. Of course it's coerced. It's a police recorded confession. He confessed of his own free will. - He was in that room for more than 21 hours. Okay? Worn to the bone. No offense but scared and confused don't add up to free anything. That confession was bullshit. So, what, like it never happened? That's your position? - That's my position. It's not as if they were waterboarding him. - They badgered him for an entire day. That's it's own form of torture. Guys, we have a confession, we also have a witness who saw him driving away from the governor's house that night. At 1 in the morning. In the dark. While behind the wheel of a car with headlights on. So? - Marisa, how long have you smoked? None of your business. - Just humor me. I don't know, since, like, 10th grade. When I was 15. - You've always smoked Camels? Pretty much, except for when I've bummed from friends. You've seen that pack of Camels thousands of times. Think real hard about the man on the package. Was he sitting on the camel or is he leading him with a rope? Oh, come on, Marisa, this is a fastball right down the middle. This is ridiculous. - Ah-ah-ah, no cheating. Come on. Okay, fine. I am 99 percent sure that the man is leading the camel by a rope. Shit. There is no man. Wow, that's crazy. What people see and what they think they see are often two different things. How can we put so much weight on what a witness saw in a flash in the middle of the night? Trick question or whatever, the fact is you don't admit to murder if you didn't do it. They wore him down until he believed what they told him to believe. - I want another vote. Judd? Okay. All those favoring guilty? Hey, Jean. Yeah? - Did you clear out my messages? The one from Sophia? - No, why? Okay, never mind. Thank you. - Sure. Sanchez. - Detective, it's Danny Ferman. Hi. - Danny boy, how are you? I'm good. Thank you. Did you guys call my office to pull, Sophia's voicemail off my machine? Maybe. We do that. I'll look into it. Oh, and by the way, tox came back on her. OD'd like I said. - Okay. We got a statement from the neighbor. Russian woman. A real character. - Yeah, I saw her last night. She said she saw a man stop by at the vic's early in the day, but no sign of a struggle. My gut says they were either shooting up together, or he was a dealer. - She give a description? Vague. She said it was a white guy. Big. Really big. That's it? - That's it. Well, she barely spoke English, so... Okay. Well, thanks anyway. You got it, kid. JURY DISMISSAL: KYLE WADE WHITE MALE A REALLY BIG GUY What are those? - Prayer beads. They're beautiful. - Yes, well, it's very important to put your nervous energy into something, huh? Do you have any more of them? Hello? - Ginny, thank God. You need to go to Uncle Peter's house. Stay there until I tell you to come back. Visit gross Uncle Pete? Hard pass. So did that cute Ryan guy ask about me? Is he single? For once in your life just do what I ask. - What is the matter with you? Don't give me a hard time. Just go to Uncle Peter's house and do not come back to the hotel, okay? Just go now. Okay, okay, I'm going. Hey, Clark. Hey, I know you said that we can't use an iPad, but what about an eReader? - That's a good question. I don't see why not. - Yeah, there's no Wi-Fi. I mean, there's no connection to the outside world, so... That's a question for the judge. --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Can you believe this shit? They started a Kickstarter account in my name called Justice For The Kyles. I'm not the Kyles, I'm just Kyle. And I don't need justice. I get it. I mean, you didn't sign up for this. If you weren't on the jury, you wouldn't have been downtown, you wouldn't have gotten jumped. I got jumped because I'm a gay man in a world full of haters. My mom and dad think I have a gay-bash target on my back. They're worried any guy I meet at a bar is gonna jump me. You didn't meet him at the bar, you got jumped in the alley. Right, that's what I said. That's what I meant. Do you want something to drink? I got all these gift baskets, like fancy tequila and stuff. What do you want? What? - Do you remember Sophia Russo? She was one of the character witnesses at the trial. The cook at the mansion, right? Yeah. I stopped by her house the other night. Oh, great. How's she doing? She's dead. The thing is, the last person to see her alive was a big white dude. A really big white dude. Wanna tell me what really happened? Here, tell you what. I'll take a stab at it, okay? You met him in the bar. Told you he thought you were cute. Couple drinks, one thing leads to another, you're heading out to the alley to go do the fairly obvious and, before you know it he's punching you, he's kicking you, he's all over you. Okay, I didn't meet him at the bar. But I had seen him before. I kept running into him outside the courthouse and I was like... Outside the courthouse? Yeah, he'd be across the street at that coffee place. I just thought it was his spot. And he was big and muscly and like every gay man's fantasy. I just couldn't believe that he was actually talking to me. You know? So we started talking, and I told him that I was on the jury. I know I shouldn't have, but I just was trying to impress him or whatever. And then he smiled at me this big seductive smile. And he threatened me not to tell anyone. So you lied to the police? - No, I was just... I was scared that he... - Did you happen to tell him, which way you were leaning, guilty or innocent? Yeah, I told him innocent. Okay. Kyle, we have to take this to the police. It could change the whole outcome... - No way, man. Are you fucking kidding me? He's gonna kill me this time. No. Please. - Okay, okay, okay. What do you have on tap? First gay bar? Newcastle. My name's Danny Ferman. I'm one of the attorneys representing Malcolm Miller. Look, if this is about that juror, the cops already turned this place inside out. Okay, so I assume they checked the camera footage already. Fakes. Just there to scare anyone looking to cause trouble. Like you. Were you working the night of the assault? You were here? Yes. And I've already been interviewed. Okay, what did you tell the cops? - That I don't remember seeing him. Bar was a little crazier than usual, but... My girlfriend was having a little birthday thing. Girlfriend? So you're... Gay guys are the best tippers. Yeah, I mean, not that... You know, it doesn't matter. Anyway. Anyway. Birthday, okay. Cake, presents, the whole thing? Yeah. She needs a lot of attention. Did you happen to take any photo, videos or... Look at this. Okay. Recognize him? No. Could you send me this file? Subtitles by Aaslund -Have you had a chance to talk at all? -Well, we did meet at the hospital. -Did anything good come out of it? -No, nothing. -You didn't say anything to each other? -We said things to each other but we weren't talking. -We're saying things and that's all nice and sweet. -Nice and sweet is good. -He's misses the summer cabin. He doesn't miss me. -He's got passion in his eyes when he's changing a goddamn roof tile. -Dad loves you so very much -In fact, he loves you so much it almost killed him. -I'm not getting any younger. I want to live. -What the hell is that? -Is that a dating site you're showing me? -They're pretty handsome, don't you think? -Well, they look like dad, all three of them. -No, I don't think so. -They definitely do. These two are sea captains and the third one works for the Maritime Administration. -I must have a thing for sailors then. -This is not happening. -But you know what, none of these guys have summer cabins. -Is that the problem? Is it the house that's the issue? -There you go, dad. Finally back at your favourite place. -Are you comfortable, dad? Everything ok? -Can you feel it? The fresh air, birds singing, the ocean, the bushes down there. -This is good for you, it is so nice out here. -It's nice in the city too, right Gustaf? -It really isn't. Just imagine the amount of time you'll have to fix the house now that you're single. -Don't worry about the house right now, it'll work itself out He's not single, they haven't separated yet. You're just on a little break, right? -But still, break is fake. -The fact is it's routine, slow and steady. Just like you like it, dad. -Can I talk to you real quick? -It's like a dream. It doesn't get any better than this. - But that first time. - That first... well, that first... I think it's lasted till now. Just the objects have probably changed. But I'm still as keen. We have a new student, who I should like to welcome and I hope she will enjoy being with us to the end of the school year. Well, go to the blackboard. Sit down! Sit next to Marcel! He's calling her, isn't he? Marcel, why did you want me to sit next to you? I thought, I have to explain, when something comes up... I say something, so I sit alone, so we have a chance to laugh... Why do they laugh at you? I'm known for my remarks, they make everyone laugh. I've heard you broke a plate and bumped into a cook. They were pushing, the plate fell and the cook ran for the deputy head. I quickly picked up the bits... What's the deputy head like? Teaches natural history, very good teacher. He kicked up a bit of a fuss and then said: Can't you hold on for the last few days? Do you like any of the girls in the class? I've only been in this class for a year. - Only a year? - l was in another class. And in that class? Do you like going to the cinema? Not really. They're showing the BlackTulip, everyone's been... lt's excellent. Aren't you going to see it? I don't know. Would you like to go? Well, I... I'd like to. Today it's on at half past three. Calmly, that's the Reverie. That's a strange Reverie. Will you ask your parents or shall we go without permission? I can say I'm going to the cinema. They'll let me go. Won't they object to you going with a girl? I'll say we're going with the class, after all, we do that. So we'll meet and go. Where shall we meet? I don't know. That'll do... That's the Reverie. Won't it be awkward if we go to the cinema? Won't some girl be jealous? It'd be my first time like that. We boys go, but girls go as well, but it's the first time that... Marcel, you never laugh. I never laugh? You don't know... I don't know you, but it seemed to me... I laugh so much that I've paid for it. Why? Some teachers don't like it. Even so, you seemed sad to me. I'm like that too. I find it hard to get to know people. One for six. - For how much have you, please? - For seven, six and five. - Two for six, please. - They're sold out for today. Then for seven. They're all sold out. Couldn't you manage it somehow? Those two for six. I promised the teacher, but I came late. Wait here, I'm just going to get out of playing the trombone. Don't show yourself much near the cinema, mum teaches here, I've got tickets, we'll pop off to that cinema. You're going to play the trombone now? You enjoy playing? I took it up, it was for free, I could play. Have you performed anywhere? On May Day, we gave a concert in a village. So I'm going to get it over and done with. All right, I'll wait for you. Careful! The same melody is repeated half way through, but the first time it's piano, and the second time...? - Mezzo-forte. - And which is louder? Mezzo-forte. Then keep to it, if that's what's written. Keep exactly to what is in the score. Careful! Here you made a mistake in the fingering. This bar once more! Careful, a mistake in intonation! The first mistake was at the beginning, these notes are long. This is a faster tempo, here we shorten the notes. We'll speed it up a bit. The other problem is this point. I couldn't practise much, we have visitors at home, I couldn't make so much noise. And could you let me go now, because the whole family is going to granddad's grave. His brother's come. What will you do at the cemetery? I don't know. Pay our respects. This young boy has an id card. Everyone has, it can't be helped. You must have some proof of identity. She left it at home. But they know me. Haven't you got something from school? You think I'm not fifteen? Look how grown up she is. She is, that's not the point. If I've got an id card, she has too. Must we always have it with us? What's written on that board? Young people under fifteen must show their id cards. Her age isn't written on her face, she must carry it all the time. I always have to have it with me? I can't help it. If they know me and I go to school with her, then she... I don't know who she goes to school with, I don't go there. You talk the most, but you haven't shown us anything yet. Then I'll show you... Those kinds of dances didn't exist when I was young. What is this dance called? - Are you going to start now? - No, we're finishing. Don't they teach you the polka, only those modern ones? They do, but there's no room there for such things. You can't dance the polka? Where do you dance? The polka is almost like skipping around, and where can you... lt's a kind of rhythmical skipping to a polka... Don't you know some tune? The polka melody's like this... lt'll survive three generations. I'll tell you about one polka you know, it's gone round the world. You of all people know it! Wait, wait! I'll show you. Roll out the Barrel. That's it! It held the whole world together throughout the war. That's music, the real thing. Let's try it! Mummy, play one of those... I'm already playing. Better something else, the tango, for example. Better the tango. I'll show you how it should be danced. Slowly, just hold me. We'll just move our bodies like... people in love. In love? She's eighteen! Bend closer to each other! I can't, that paunch... Mummy, look how she dances. Dad's like a sea wolf. So slow? You could do one of those amorous dances. I wouldn't have anyone to do it with. So that's what you mean by an amorous dance? Yes, on the same spot. You see! Then this hand must go somewhere else. Like this? In my pocket? Yes, to get your purse. They teach you to dance that? Then show us how you think it should be. You must stand on the spot, just slowly moving and swaying... Then I'll be your boy. I'm the boy and you must slowly sway... Do you remember how we practised that polka with Mi? ka? I didn't like her then. Then she wanted that tango. Goodness, she was encouraging me to get so close, so amorous, body to body. Seriously! Some shake-up dance like the tango suits her better than a polka. Goodness, what do you see in it? There are emotions in the tango, the impression of being in love. Heavens, what emotions are you talking about? What do you know about being in love? Not me, but I think it applies to her. Goodness, you'd do better to buy her that material for a dress! All you think of is that dress! What does she need it for? Just so she can appear in it? So she looks pretty. What's wrong with that? Pretty, and for whom? She definitely wants to impress someone! They want to impress each other. Do you think we only dress up to attract some boy... During that dance I felt she's longing to dance like that with a boy in a pretty dress. So what? She's eighteen. is she ready for it psychologically, or only biologically? Why do you ask me what I think about it? Of course, I'm interested, aren't I? Why do you analyse it like that? Buy her material for that dress! What do you keep worrying about? You keep changing the subject. When you're meant to buy a dress, you begin philosophising. - Excuse me, where does the architect live? - Sorry, who? I'm looking for the architect. - Which one? There are several here. - Mr Ravinger. There are as many Ravingers here as there are Anabaptists We're five families living here, you know. They have a boy in the ninth form, Marcel. Then that's mine. What a coincidence. Do you know something about Marcel? That interests me, he's my son. Please come in! This is the gate, you know. If I made an ordinary gate, everyone could get in. But here the gate is at the back. Please, you can get in this way. Through here? If it was an ordinary gate, anyone could open it. I'm Marcel's father. We are the Hladkys. If it is inconvenient... I'm the mother. The name reminds me of someone. He was my supervisor. From Bratislava. Ladies and gentlemen, dear students! We are meeting for the last time, in order to say goodbye to you. On behalf of the school I wish to thank you for your hard work your teacher and Pioneer leader for everything they have done. This moment is not suitable for long speeches... Quite so. And you don't need them. So I wish you a pleasant party and much success in the future. - Katka, aren't you dancing? - l don't know anyone here. Didn't you dance at your party either? I did, I know the people there. Come and dance at least with me. - Marcel, dance! - l don't know how to. Then I'm going to dance. Why don't you dance? I would, if I knew how to. You must know something. - l don't know anything. - Not even the shake? That's the first time I've heard of it. - Would you like to dance? - Are those sandwiches good? Excellent. But if you want to dance, go ahead. Come on, what are you afraid of? I don't know what to do with my feet. No one else knows any better, don't be silly! But they know I can't dance. You're not a little boy. We're already in the ninth form. We are, but I don't know how to. What does that matter. Do you think anyone knows? I'm not going to make a fool of myself. No one knows, they just jump around. Come on, what harm can it do? If I don't know how to dance, I won't. Excuse me. I'll tidy myself up a bit. My wife... - What is it? - Come in! Come in! This is my wife. If you don't mind, I'll change. I'll take this T-shirt off, it reminds me... This way, please. They've come about... - l don't know what. - Your son. Last week my daughter joined your Marcel's class. I'd like to see him. My daughter keeps saying how kind and agreeable he is, that they have made friends and he invited her to the cinema... He showed her Nitra, just as a friend, nothing special... That does surprise me! She's glad someone is taking care of her, I think it was a friendly gesture, as one classmate to another... That's nice, but a little surprising. At that age it's usually girls who make friends, I'm surprised that Marcel... I've never heard... He's very shy, he keeps his distance from girls. Our Katka isn't at all shy and she talks in a friendly way about him. I just wanted to say, we are going abroad for two years, and for that time we are leaving her with her grandparents. But yesterday grandma was worried, because their form was having a party, and our Katka came home around eleven. Grandma was anxious, so I wanted to know, whether Marcel came at that time, or the whole form so late, whether they had permission, or... lf you're home late from the cinema, do your parents make a fuss? I don't go to the cinema, but when I stayed at that party... mum asked where l'd been, whether I wasn't drunk and... My friend once came home late from the cinema, her parents kicked up a fuss, she wasn't allowed out for two weeks. She was confined to the house. They made such scenes. I've got an aunt like that. She acts as if she's terribly moral, but she tells us, I saw that girl with that boy... but she wasn't doing anything. - What's wrong with that? - l don't know. Our parents want us to stay children, and they just don't realise, we're already fifteen. I'm almost sixteen. He doesn't like dancing... I asked him what he did and he said he danced. What did you dance? He told me some dance... Something that sounded like ? vejk... Not ? vejk, shake... Then he showed me it, like this... Well, but it was somehow... without rhythm... You probably don't need any special talent for that, just to shake yourself somehow. Look into my eyes. Have you ever kissed a girl? Have you ever kissed a girl? Not yet. Have you? A boy, I mean? - My cousin, too. - Cousin? And have you thought about kissing a girl? Don't you even want to kiss? What would be so terrible about it if I kissed her? I'm just asking, that's all. Of course I'm interested, now we're talking, where our children were and what they were doing, but I'm not sure why you came. Just so I can respond, because I don't yet know whether you were glad that our Marcel was with your daughter. I can't somehow make it out. That would tell me the point of your visit and our talk. - Just for information, of course. - Okay, for information... I'd a feeling Marcel is straying from the straight and narrow. I'm imagining that you kissed me. - You're going too far. - l'm not! If you want to see something bad, the most innocent things can seem so, but let's try trusting our children. What do you say? Children should be trusted, so far we have, so I think... We trust them too. Interesting, the girl's only here a week and we have a problem. There were so many girls there and he never... D'you remember, when Marcel got up to something in school, they punished him by sitting him next to a girl. For him it was the worst punishment. But that was a long time ago. Then it was a punishment for him, if he did something wrong, he had to sit next to a girl. Marcel's not the same age now. He was born in fifty-two, so he's quite old now. But is he old enough to go out with a girl and show her the sights? Then tell me, what can he show her? This hand shouldn't be like this, put it here, but... You have your little finger here, like this and now... - Like this? - More or less. But stretch your hand a bit. Wait, we'll call Marcel. Marcel, come here! Good evening, Marcel. Have you got your trousers on... Glad to meet you, I'm Katka's mother. I'm glad she's found a good friend. Then tell me what you've read, how you're going to tell him? I'm reading interesting things... But how are you going to tell him? How? Look! How did you find out? There are such lovely things here, that make sex beautiful and noble, but it can be a disaster for anyone who starts too early. Isn't that beautiful? Or this: The standard of sexual... Listen when I'm reading! The standard of sexual life partly depends on that of cultural life. A higher standard creates conditions for a higher form of sexual life. All right, but tell me... I'll tell him now and explain. Dr. Strn¨¢d wrote it nicely, but I'd like some advice from him that... How to say it, do you think it would be useful... lt'd be simplest to tell him to buy a book like this and study it! You bought it for him, give it to him! I won't give him this one, I've underlined some sentences. He'd ask why. How many weddings should there be? Three more, three in a row. All rather late today. Seems to take a long time. What's the time? I don't know. I won't cook today. Have you done your shopping? Some of it. Meat. Pay day's not until Monday, did you have enough for it? Monday? Not till Tuesday. This is sure to save us! I thought it was Monday. No, Tuesday. lt's the fifteenth today, isn't it? Tomorrow's Sunday the sixteenth, Monday the seventeenth... Then we'll have to have something left over from Sunday. It's enough to make ends meet till Sunday and you'll still have... No, I've already bought chickens. I bought chickens in the week. I had a look at the market today, there were very few there. I don't buy them at the market. I bought them in a shop. Look out, the next ones are coming! Get ready! Put your foot there. Here's part of it, I'd add this. Ah, you've got it pinned already! Won't you try it on? You can't see anything yet. You can't see anything yet. Straight at the back, so I can get my head... Put a bit here, this is enough... Next you'll want a rose here... You must have it cut away here, you've got a short neck. I'll have it up to my neck here, smooth and towards the back. You know what would be great? A jacket. This dress will be sleeveless, won't it? But who'll sew it up in two days? - l must have it ready. - You'll do it. And who'll go to school for me? Work it all out and pin it up. Why do you keep saying you won't dance? Why do you think you won't dance? Because when I went to dance lessons, the girls danced mainly with girls, because there were too few boys, even on the ski trip I didn't dance even once! - There were no boys there! - There were. But there isn't one boy in our class... no, just one boy, and he wasn't there, and the others... You're suffering from something, because that feeling... You've got a complex, or something like that. Maybe I have, who knows? But I have a feeling I won't dance. Why do you think that? Because I don't know how to charm anyone and I can't dance well, and I've never really tried it. In what way do you mean charm? By beauty? You've got something else in you. You're friendly, that also has... But who sees it in your eyes? How am I going to behave? Those boys are only friends, aren't they? Do you think they like it when someone clings to them? You'll see, someone will appreciate that more. Maybe. I haven't yet met anyone who appreciates it more. They always talk to the kind who cling to everyone immediately. The other day your registrar said they pay sixty crowns in Moravia, and us only fifteen. My sister-in-law's sister said that in Central Slovakia they even pay a hundred. - l've heard that too. - Us fifteen... That's despicable! I'm telling you, it's only in Nitra they pay so badly. Elsewhere, as you say, it's at least fifty. You understand, we're qualified, you're in that society... the Committee for Civil Affairs. As a member, they only got me from the music school just to... - l feel so worn out... - You're tired? - How many more? - lt's dragging on today. - Nothing's on time! - They're saying goodbye at home. - And have they even paid? - That photographer... Yes, yes... - How lovely! - What's lovely about it? Really. What do you see in it? Look at this... here... Don't take it off, if we put... We'll put something blue here, blue buttons, that'll make you a bit slimmer... Others will come like ballerinas and I... lt's not that bad, honestly! Why would I say so? It can be done! We'll take it in here, alter this... Anyway, we must add another colour. I don't know why I always want blue. We'll take it in here a bit, shorten it there, you can make it a bit wider here. I'll buy something for you here. I probably won't go anywhere. I was looking forward to it, but I'm worked up about it. I don't know why you're so sceptical and you keep doubting. It's not so bad, it can be put right. Then I'll buy you a lovely dress. I don't know what you want to alter. I'll go in this... This is pretty, it's ... pique. But it will look awful on me. A pleat here, blue there, elsewhere taken in, let out... I shall look ... awful. It'll be just as I dreaded. Not only will I sit out, but what will I look like? I'm sorry. But it's not as bad as you make out. You always talk like that. We're not so badly off that I can't even buy you... lt'll be better now. It's terrible. Pretty well the whole day. Once we played a bit in the morning, a bit in the afternoon... Wait, we'll share it out. Well, okay. - You're wonderful, I'm waiting. - All right. - Where is it? - Here. Then divide it up! I'll make piles! It doesn't work out this time either. Ah, here! No big green ones? - None, really? - No, really. It's just that green is good for the eyes. Wait, I can't count it. ... eighty... ninety and two fifties. - Two fifties and ninety is... - Two fifties for each... Wait! You must do something with this, it's torn//falling to pieces, soon we won't have anything to play from. Look, there's something here! I knew it. Good to see. That's super. It'll save us. It's the first time that's happened! Such a good job! Yes! - Good morning. - Good morning. - A terrible thing's happened to us. - And what's that? We were sewing a dress for Mi? ka for a party on Saturday, we wanted to hurry it up, so we thought we'd do it ourselves. Put it on, so that we can see... She cut it out, got it ready, and now we need to be rescued. This for a party? But it's pretty! This for a party? Mi? ka, you won't look good in this. How can you say that? I've got something to go with it... A different material! I wanted to, but there wasn't anything. Hardly anything at all. But this is nice! Then I'll hurry... And now this. So how do you want it? I don't know, you can advise us. One meter twenty. How much did they give me? One meter twenty, but double width. - That's enough for the whole dress! - From this? She'll have one more dress. Isn't it some mistake? Good evening. What can I bring you? Good evening. Looks nice here. Good wine and good prices, if only we had hard currency to pay for it. We've only got ordinary crowns. Bring us some good cheap wine. Two Martells, please. And seven decilitres of wine. Just a moment. I must know what it will cost. Grenadine for my daughter, please. You'll admit, as a secondary school teacher... The salary's also a deciding factor. So cheap and good quality. Bring something. Here you are. You pay in advance. How much will it cost? A hundred and twenty-nine. It'll be the death of me. Hubert, and Extra at that - Sixty-six crowns! That's what we expected. I must work out how much this dance of yours will cost. That music's terrible. For that money no one... lf someone comes and asks you, don't go and dance. This music. lt's awful. Awful? What are you doing here, boys? Dad, for heaven's sake stop that! Do you mind, I know them. Okay, but you're not going to force anyone on me. - Can't I introduce them? - No, that's not done. Mi? ko, isn't your daughter dancing? Not for the moment, maybe she will. Don't you dance to this? - She doesn't dance to this. - And what will she dance to? That's just what we needed! What did we need? This! Did we need this? is this what we were missing? What were we missing? Why do you bang that bottle down on the piano? That's my livelihood! You shouldn't put it there! I paid for it. Isn't it undignified to take the bottle with you? It's not undignified. You ordered Martell. You left it there, you acted like noble ladies. Miss didn't want to dance... For heaven's sake! For heaven's sake! I only spoke to those boys on her behalf. You only spoke on her behalf! Why did you need to do that? Why did you have to say that? What good is that to us? And what does the Martell matter! Here we lost thousands... Heavens, you made such a fuss there, until now we haven't been anywhere, and when we do go, all you care about is one Martell... all you care about is one Martell... People were paying thousands! But I have to watch the budget. It's always only you! Your budget! Always only you! We've had this for years. Years, and now you even... I told her I didn't need to go there. She even made an expensive dress. This is an expensive dress? The dressmaker laughed, she called it a rag. So what kind of modern dress does she want? Not modern, just something better, we're not so poor we can't afford it. We paid for it and what happened? Did I need a dance for that? It was all your fault. is this how one imagines life will be? is this what you prepared for us? You invited me, so I went. We did, but what are you telling me! Then where am I to go with you? It wasn't the expense I minded. Should I go to the cemetery with you? That won't cost anything. And you can be sad there! And you can be quiet there. It'd be just the right place for you. All my youth, with you... What did I get from it? Youth! Did you think you'd always be young? When did I have a good time? When did I go to a party? When could I afford anything? I came from Prague during the Protectorate. First I went to school and then... You could add that first you were born. Let's begin at the beginning. Go on, say it was a pity we went there. So we were there. That was all we experienced and then it was over. Nineteen fifty-three came and we went broke. But you kept saying, it'll be all right... You philosophized, speculated, until you overdid it and lost all. I still believe things will work out for the best. What do you believe in? What do you believe? I believe everything. I'm just talking about the past. And today we go to a party for the first time with our daughter, and we quarrel about some stupid champagne. That's all! Champagne. One Martell, as if... Heaven's... what did you do there? You kept counting, you weren't even interested in what was going on. You admire a poet... That's just like you. You come to a party and you say... Recite the poem Bacardi for me. To drink baccardi... Have you ever drunk it? Of course, but not with you. I haven't. Why didn't you let us have it? Why did you hum and ha? Don't ask me who I drank it with, I don't ask you who you drank what with. What with who? With no one. And I've never tasted Bacardi! What do you think it is? Some Cuban cognac. No idea, of course. What are you getting at now? I don't know why you made such a fuss. is that what we were making preparations for? It wasn't how I imagined it either! You didn't like the music, old polkas... lt was embarrassing that no one came for her. So I went with the girl... what's wrong with her, what is it about her? And what was I meant to do about it? I knew those boys, so I spoke to them. That was a disgrace, did she have to hear it? Tono had to shout out there: Isn't your daughter dancing? For ages I've been wondering whether to tell you. I'm disgusted with life. And you often don't seem to be a mother. - Heavens, how could you think that? - How could I think that? I can't see any love on your part, any feeling, it's all about money. You come home happy - l got that much there, I had a nice little job, I earned that much... I managed to get a bargain. But you don't make anyone happy. Just money, money. Just money, money. Because that's what I see. How can you see it? Who do you think I'm doing it for? How can you say that to me? I do it all for you. You have no idea how it was for us. I don't understand how you could say that to me. Must it be money all the time? No dream, no ideal, how it could be. You talk to me about ideals? Really, you see nothing but money. D'you think I wasn't young? Wasn't I eighteen once? I was nineteen when I left school. I learned languages, I learned to play the piano, to have a good life. My mother also wanted to prepare everything for me. You pay, you come... I don't know why you come. A waste of time every week. You don't do anything here. Why don't you practise? Such a distance... a waste of time. When I wanted to take piano lessons: No I won't allow that! It was a question of whether I would go to the conservatory, or go on to study something else. Dad said: No! That was after the First World War, when Russian aristocrats were playing in bars. He didn't want to allow that. He didn't believe I'd be a pianist. While everyone else said I could make a career. And what's the result? You're an ordinary teacher, just scraping a living. Now I'm happy I'm a teacher. I like doing it. I enjoy it. But before I got to it, the things I had to give up... During the Protectorate I used to play in an orchestra. I counted on going to study after the war. My dream was some embassy. I wanted to see the world. And that was all I could afford. The Protectorate put a stop to that. At grammar school the girls used to tell me, what are you worrying about! You'll make a career as an actress. For example, Ji? ¨ª Krej¨¨¨ªk, who went into films, said: One day I'll make a feature film. You'll play the second main role. I don't know why the second, I was a bit taken aback. He probably meant some comedy role. In the end, he made the film without me. He's a laureate and I don't know what else. I remembered him once when I was in a bad situation. Without money and without hope, and then I realised all the things I could have been, all I could have done. That time I noticed a newspaper on the ground, I just pushed it open with my foot and read: Krej¨¨¨ªk has become a laureate. I thought: He got twenty thousand, and I'm just rushing around here. Mrs Gerta, tune that G! is that G alright by you? Can you hear it? - l can't tune it, how am I...? - lt must be possible to tune it. Yes, but not straight away! You should do it before rehearsals. Get ready... slacken it... slacken it more, more... lt's okay now. That's enough, thank you! If we'd had the kettledrums last time, it'd go better today. But you have to come to rehearsals occasionally. I'm not cross, but I have to remind you. Once again! Slightly quicker tempo. I'll set the tempo. One, two, three! - Are you listening, Mi? ko? - l'm listening. When did you get to know Gerta? She used to play, that was long ago... I always had a feeling for music. A girls' orchestra was playing in a coffee house in Prague. A girls' orchestra. She missed the tram, I caught up with her, officer, uniform.. she fell for it. I greeted her and said: I don't mind... wait... I said: I don't mind escorting you even if it's several kilometres on foot. Who wouldn't fall for that? So I escorted her. Vinohrady, Streleck¨¢ 12... 23. He's burbling on! You missed the tram. I did, because it was... lt wasn't yet the Protectorate, but it was already looking gloomy. I was impressed by the fact that she didn't want it: Do you mind! I have always been a protector of frail women. I was more frail than I am now, there's no arguing about that. And she said to me: Slovaks have always impressed me, but not ones who go to pubs. I said: D'you mind, I'm bored here. Where are those moments, the time I was young. Then came the day when a dream died. When a night moth stretched out its wings A night moth in love means love's lost and in vain. It flies into the darkness. Love's both a joy and a pain. I'm so worried about Mi? ka. What did you say? That I'm worried about our Mi? ka. I trust her, but I don't want her to experience some disappointment. She's going away for two months, to a new environment. Do you think I'm not worried? Aren't they beautiful? is that how you're getting ready to go to Austria? It's half past ten, when do you want to be ready? In a minute. - Marcel, you, too! - What for? We're going to see her off, aren't we? I don't know how to explain it. I trust her, but here it's not a question of trust. I don't want her to experience some disappointment there. She's an idealist, she always imagines... Do you think I don't care? I didn't want to agree at first, after all, she's going to a strange world... When it comes to such things, I'm totally... What should I do now? Give her some guidance? In Salzburg the water in the lakes is cold, take care not to catch cold there. Be careful about bathing! - There's salt water there. - lt's not salty, but cold. I don't want you to bathe dressed up warm, but... You catch cold quickly and that's no simple matter. I know I can bathe only in the afternoon. And no playing the hero! I know how such girls like showing off! I never show off. That's what we're worried about. After all, there must be some trust. You know, it's hard to explain what I feel... my wish for her is that everything will go smoothly. I wish she may have a great love, and that everything will be beautifully harmonious for the rest of her life. A great love... are you thinking of the kind in novels? Don't bring an Austrian back with you from your holiday. I'll bring an Italian. Or, God forbid, a little Austrian. Marcel, keep your stupid remarks to yourself! Just wait, if someone comes. You shouldn't have said that! Such girls can be easily duped by some older... I'm telling you that from experience. That's no trivial matter. Why are you surprised? Can't I have experience of young people? As it happens, we met some young people in a bar... a group of young girls, I don't know what attracted them, an old man knows how to... So what attracted them? I don't know either. Nor do I, but they rose to the bait. Such girls easily let themselves... A young girl rises to the bait, and an older man... That young girl can take it idealistically, but the greedy old tomcat needn't. - l know that very well. - What do you know? Tell us. What should I tell you? I was in Bratislava... I'd compare it to the white nights in Moscow, but Bratislava wasn't Moscow. I'm an idealist from that point of view, I can imagine it, and I led that girl on to the point where... - What's up? - Can't I look at you? What you're saying surprises me. It surprises you? Better not take the tips. It doesn't look good. They give it to the chamber maid, but we don't have to rely on it. Who knows what they would think of us. - l shouldn't take them? - l don't want to hear of it! And if a guest should leave me a tip for tidying up? No. I'll tell you something, you know what. Yes. You sometimes bring a tip from a wedding and you say: It was good, we got 150 crowns. Don't pass judgment on me. Don't compare yourself with me! I'm just advising you. But they may leave something there for me. The main is for you to learn German. But if they leave money for me, what should I do? Don't complicate things again! I'm afraid Mi? ka might be naive. She'll be easily taken in. I certainly don't want it to be like in that song, when he was tired of flying from one flower to another... I insist that when Mi? ka one day falls in love, she should stay with him. So she isn't a flighty little flower. Wait a minute, don't shut it! Come on, quick! Our daughter's going to Austria and you shut the gates in front of us. I keep saying they ought to make a footbridge here. I know it's not your fault. We're late because of you. So many different hats and we miss the train. But that's not our train! That's not our train, is it? It's not, but we should already be there. Come on! Quick! Quick! You've been hanging around too long. Those hats of yours... Quick! Mi? ka, please don't let anyone... Be careful, there are all kinds of greedy tomcats there. And don't take any... A flower like that only flowers once, don't let it be easily picked. THE END THE TÓT FAMILY (*Welcome major lord*) From István Örkény's novel ("Tót family") written by Starring Narrator Narrator versifier Producer Music by Executive producer Director of the Photography Directed by 20th century story Somewhere in North Hungary there is a little village between pinewood and behind the beyond. Far from everything. Its air is clear and with ozone rich Many tourists and vacationists visit to who the local population give out a room into rent a weekly. Lived in this village where silence and peacefulness reigned and for example conflagration did not ravage since long years, his was called Tót Lajos. Everybody first greeted him because it was surrounded by general respect if he went along the high street. Because he friendly natured one and majestical one was his authority. He was sit on the head of table on weddings The population turned to him for a council. And death cases the coroner was called if he said his judgement already only. Suffered poor. Tót lived exemplary domestic life. His wife, Mariska, not only liked it, but felt it so own one being superior to himself that she obeyed him eye-moving. Could have pricked it yet the my darling Everything, which was beautiful on the world, was his father though for Ágika. The flying of a swallow Oh, my God so beautiful. Than the dad. The chocolate melting in the mouth Sweet, good. Than my dad. That dizziness, when into a red rose we are watching. Than the dad. But the in the village was a fan of a fireman commander. Since the postman was called in for a soldier on the front of the war... Gyuri carried away the letters handling the holiness of the privacy of correspondence somewhat freely With truth division passion one is individual on a manner interpreted. Yes. Was a little bit idiotic, but not dangerously. The dogs were the principal targets of his idiotic impulses. He annoyed the Alsatians with superstitious hatred. He adored Tót Lajos. Was amorous quasi into him. He was able to look at his pictures until clocks if he got into the living room of Tót. The human symmetry was Tót in Gyuri's eye, so the superlative of the dignity, and liked it until being enthusiastic about this. Tót may have thanked this adoration for the fact that the bad news was obtained never from the war. But if the post brought good news... Lajos uncle! Mariska is an old lady! Post! Good news! Ágika, my glasses! Show me Gyuri! Show me Gyuri! -Ágika! - Here you go! My sweet parents and Ágika! I announce it gladly, for our loved major lord the person about who I wrote so much beautiful one already deteriorated very much his nervous system because of the partisans' constant harassment . And travel home onto 2 weekly sick-leave now because of this. I discussed with him that he should take advantage of my kind parents' hospitality... Go on Ágika. What was not an easy matter because in him mental state he not wants to be in nobody's inconvenience. Hear, Lajos? I hear, yes. But I wrote our village's climatic benefits, our beautiful glassy porch and the beautiful view, and the our major lord accepted the invitation. You may think what this means to me. Christ on the cross. Our Gyula's commander comes here! A glass of wine for the postman. Come,Gyuri boy! Gyuri's 7 pictures hanged on the wall of the big room of Tót. All guests had to admire these. This, when he were 8 monthly. The rice pudding until all of them scattered spat. Was born blond, but his 1 year age his hair was black. Everybody was surprised at this very much. He 7 years old on this picture. My mom said that a lot were trouble with him. I was not me then on the world yet. I was born in the next year only. This picture when it was made a scout. Went into a camp in one summer. He got dysentery. Well, we got frightened very much then. This his high school graduation is picture. He did the teacher-school being with praise. And what you say to him? Again was blonde his hair. This is the memory of an excursion here. Brought his class away here on a Sunday of May of two years ago. A cherry did not remain on the trees. This is Gyula with Erzsi.Before the went into war, was necessary hers engagement. Allegedly because they crawled under the piano and... and Erzsike's father was hear something...snuffle, crawled after them, but this for what reason onto the engagement? I...not understand. This is the picture when they made it officer. Like that in the uniform, that my Lajos. There is not a child like this yet. My son. My only good... little son. Our beloved major lord, - and from this don't be alarmed, - does not like the clamour, and responds to single smells very sensitively. Which smell it may be, that he does not can to tolerate? This is...whereof our Gyula wrote nothing Don't be afraid Tót lord, nothing will be the smell for this loo until 5 years. Lajos uncle! Mariska old lady! He day after tomorrow starts. Very delicate onto the cleanness. And...started the finish. It would have been little if they would have had 100 hands for the Tót family And a lot of everything, it was necessary to think, which there was not at the house. For example Chinese patterned bedspread was needed to ask for Kasztriner family. Don't talk. A major. A major comes! A major comes to a Tót family! And how it gets to you? He is our Gyula's commander. Wow! Electric bed-warmer from Tomaji parson lord. Come on, no says my little girl. A major? - And onto a fortnight comes here? -Imagine it! . Big thing this my little girl. Very big thing. Lajos uncle! Mariska old lady! Silence is needed! He suffers from insomnia! Insomnia! The leader of the bus had to explain it, why must not honk through 2 weeks in the bend. The leader of the bus had to explain it, why must not honk through 2 weeks in the bend. And here has this godforsaken habit of Gyuri yet. There is not a major who bears this. Gyuri my son. Promise not to annoy the dog until our Gyula's commander is here. From our Gyula's life there is a word. I make this for the Tót family. That dog does not bark until 2 weeks. I promise. - Well...onto kind Gyula's health. - Thank you. The last day Ágika an early morning started with a little game cart already and while the game cart filled with a borrowed thing, Ágika got into the centre of the interest and envy rather continually. they made him relate the big event again and again. They were offering everything good to it. It was celebrated practically And Ágika increasingly better enthused into dreaming about the major, the major changed to increasingly more attractive one and resembled hers father increasingly better. Just as tall. Just as stately. Like that than the dad's beautiful motion And brave and gallant! And he does not have a purse. He carries the paper money out in his pocket into little dumplings. Rolls a bullet there only if it is necessary to pay And from this everybody knows who he. His soldiers worship it. The reds and the partisans they take shelter in the forest crazily if they hear his name. The reds and the partisans they take shelter in the forest crazily if they hear his name. A hero! - A major! A military officer! A military officer! A military officer! A military officer! He comes. Daddy! For Tót family was an idea. They was thought that a major is tall surely, haggard, his sword rings, his spur twangs. They waited for a major like this There it is. It's him. Whoo, this only lieutenant. - Mom! - My small son! Look at that.The Melcsó child. - He grownes beard. - They let him home. Daddy. He did not come. Would he be it? Major lord! Major lord! Please! We are us here. The Tót family. The kind Tót family. Oh finally. Tót lord,right? Mariska. And she: Ági. We welcome it with affection the kind major lord and we desire it, feel well in our modest home. Very kind. Says Tót,it is not possible to silence this uproar? ! Stop it! Yeah. This is the good air. This silence. Believe it. In constant noises and smelliness of 9 monthly a service working... - What did I talk about? - That in constant noise and smelliness... That's right. I cannot believe in the fact that I am at home I know everything as your kind son wrote the things though. That Bábony... this the valley of Bartalapos kind Tót, we behind my back? Only Klein beer garden and the parsonage Good. I ask it from you, live so, as if I would not be here. I told your kind son this. Only if I disturb nobody. Do you see police behind my back? Nothing, dear major lord. Because you look over there always. I just the respectable major lord I look at it. Look, Tót family It enough if the world's single part is behind the man's back always. For what to increase this trouble with it if somebody looks over there constantly! ? Did I say something strange? Did I not express myself clearly? Ow, sure. Watch out, that where you are watching,my sweet good Lajos. - Well where let me be watching? - No, no, no.There be watching, where want. I told you. I do not have extra wishes, claims none. Can I tell you something? If a little you would pull your helmet onto your eye then would be all the same, that where the dad is watching. Congratulations. Your daughter is clever. The village-fireman organisations' procedural regulation prescribes it: for the vertical axis of the fireman's body and the horizontal axis of the helmet have to close a 90 degree angle. Sure Tót Lajos no the man, who thinks sections in so crucial minutes. But if the postman, the orchestra are here,and many gaping children, a fire chief is allowed to risk his authority. You desire it from me, let me be strolling so with a helmet pull into my eye than a drunk coachman? You desire it from me, let me be strolling so with a helmet pull into my eye than a drunk coachman? No. No. I would not accept this. Please consider my request void one. I travels promptly if I notice that I embarrass you in anything. I travels promptly if I notice that I embarrass you in anything. You think of yourself only. And...and you do not think about the colds, the big famishing winter coming. - And...the wind will blow. - And the partisans come then. -There is a knife in their belt, there is a knife in their mouth. - And what there will be with our Gyula? - Daddy... - My sweet good Lajos. Will be so good...major lord? Yeah. To dream better one neither maybe, dear Tót. If a snake gobbles up himself, /what is a curio/ remain his after a snake greatness space? - Hello Lajos. - Here the fire chief! - Hurray the fire chief! - Daddy do not bellow! - Hurray fire chief! - Shut up! And the major lord! Hurray major lord! It is not necessary to support me. Stop! Airplane! Get down! He sleeps. Go away. Go children. Go. You. Major lord! Major lord! Major lord! The decay of my nervous system is the consequence of partisans' constant harassment. I may not burden my kind hosts with withal. Let's go. When Tót family they got home with the major, who did not stand on his foot already. He tolerated that the host and his wife should make it undress helplessly. let it be washed with tender hands let his whole body be dried throughout let it nurse, coddle let it be dressed in pyjamas, let it be invested in a bed. He slept in faint unconsciousness already by the time it was covered up. Mariska with Ágika did the washing ironed always yet around p.m.6 o'clocks. The guest put his thing in order. Tót was not able to keep the curious ones at a distance. Very much not good, that lies on his heart. He presses it. He has what kind of correct small foot. It is very normal foot. - I did not say it, that not normal. - Not it. But watching too small. - I was watching too small? - You. I was surprised at the fact that a human foot may be like this only. How so? I said no bad one. The single very normal one and... healthy foot. - Do not be trying to be clever. The foot of all majors is like this. Very much not good, that lies on his heart. He moved. He sat up. - Good bye. Good bye. - Good bye. Hello. Who was he? The Tomaji parson lord. Do you know it? Sure. It is can not to entrust it in nobody. I have the pistol there always under my pillow. Shoot it if he is putting in his foot here once more, my Mariska Well of course, major lord. As if I would be exchanged kind Tót family. I slept very well. Although I had bad dreams, but like that, as if I would be exchanged. We are very happy, major lord. And this the air. This silence. This place is sound-proof. Than the black velvet. A guest of ours said it about him. Yeah! It is this punctually! Than the black velvet. Lõrinc lord's state a unfortunate railway reverse gear caused. Calm down, major lord! - You Sándor. What you knock here? - What should I do Lajos? It is itching. This rotten plaster is since 4 weeks on me. Than the malady, is itching so. Well go then into the house or behind the house. My own garden not i can do what I want? From our Gyula's life there is a word. Do not make a fuss already. - Okay Did you send him in into his house? - Yes. - Wrong. I said that it is not allowed to be in consideration of me. This pine smell. This ozone. You do not know it, what this means to me. After the a on frontline service filled of 9 monthly,in intolerable noise and smelliness, I cannot to say it, how much I am glad about your kind invitation. Well yet we, how we are glad. Terrific to thought to it, that what you may suffer there on the front. My Gyula. my son. It is not necessary to be worried about his. I take it beside myself as soon as the cold season begins, into the flag office heated well. Kind major lord. Do you hear this, my sweet good Lajos? - How we say thank you for this the for major lord? How we gratitude? Thankfully i owe for the kind hospitality. Because I was like that already, than the chased game. Be calm. The your Gyula son's will be your good place beside me. He loved that little limping child the best. Himself bought it because of that always beside it. Was not clever though. He said it. Onto your kind Gyula son's health. - Thank you very much. - Thank you very much, major lord. - Good night! - Good night! - We desire a good night. Respectable major lord! - Good night! What kind good a man is. My God. Our Gyula has what kind of fortune. - My sweet good Lajos, right? - My kind! My kind! Sweet. Sweet. He did not go to bed yet. Look. He is strolling. He how firmly walks. Than the dad. Soldier. A military officer. Our Gyula beside himself take it He caught sunstroke on first excursion. Nobody caught sunstroke, only he. 40 spontoon were the his fevers by evening. He has a problem with me only Pooh daddy, that stupid helmet. No. Not only the helmet. Until all of them on me his eye. He does not like something. Aha. Since everybody loves you. Don't be afraid, let him have a rest only. Let some get fat only kilo. Did you see that he ate the in crumbs chicken two times? Well...what right, it right. Ow, my mother, my mother,my sweet good mother, why you left me? ! Ow! What is it? Was somebody wounded? Nothing happened, major lord. As if I would have heard a groan. Well... I was it. As if somebody would have kept recalling his mother. Well...is an a kind of bad habit only. I like stretching out and then very... I gtoan. Yes? I am really glad about this. He fidget. Why are you surprised at this? 100 mortal dangers is every day.9 months are in constant noise and smelliness. Well...what right, it right. Let's go. Let us lie. Enough were the today's day already. What was that? Who's here? Stop! Who are you? Major lord. This evening is beautiful. Yes. The evenings are the most beautiful ones at us. There is not warmth at this time. And the blackout? Ow, oh my God! Do not have yourselves disturbed. Go to bed. I am a bad sleeping. Well it because of that maybe not. Appropriate, that we wait for it, the major lord falls asleep. Why is this girl so sly? It is not possible to get used to it. What is an idea under the piano. Ow, Gyula. There is warmth here after all. Open it a little the door, Ágika. what's up dear Tót? How do you feel? Thank you, very well, respectable major lord. I envy you. You have lucky nature. Tell Tót. Would you not play chess with me? Major lord, I am really sorry for it, but i can't. And a card game? I am ashamed of it very much major lord, but... I not know the cards. Then we play with dominos. Respectable major lord, I...not know any kind of board game. Tell it quite openly. Do you not miss something for you if you are this here sit with your wife and your daughter in a beautiful night? My pipe was made of the sour cherry tree only.I lost it somewhere unfortunately. I did not believe it in an objective sense. I want to talk about his deleterious effects to the deficiency of the activity. Do you not understand it? Attention to me, Tót family. In a dark room the smallest noise multiplies the sound. The idleness affects onto the organization so, than the darkness onto the hearing organs. Intensifies the inner rustles, causes dazzles on the fields of sight, it brings about a murmur in a brain. I with my soldiers, if there is nothing their occupation, I have it cut off always and sew back their trouser buttons. From this the spiritual balance is re-establish. I hope for it now already you understand it, what I wanted how it before. If it is for major lord his trouser buttons came off we sew it back with Ágika immediately. You misunderstood my words totally. I ask your indulgence. Am I allowed to speak? I take it very well the major lord and trust me that the mom and i, we never sit by idly. What do you do? At this time evening falls, if there is not other our thing, we fold up boxes. What boxes? I show it immediately. For the bandage factory of Eger because of the war multiplied his production the factory the automaton of one single box maker was not able to supply it. The families of the neighbourhood secured a little easy housework so. The factory gave the cardboards It was necessary to cut it up according to the cutting shape... and to chop and to fold up. This they was made with margincutting, what Tót botch up from some board pieces and from a kitchen knife. Similarly to the devices that the photographers and binders use, only sure in somewhat naiver version. Like this. Like this. And ready. Great! Well this is great! Why did you not speak till now? Pardon, my Mariska. Which on side shall we start it? Below or above, totally all the same. One. Two. - Now from there. - Three. - Now this. - Four. Very good. Now like this. Some. Now that. Great. Ready. Come on. What's it like? What? Ow. Well beautiful. I did not see one like this yet. Newer cardboards, Ágika! Wow it no. Not at all. Our kindest guest humiliates himself with so inferior work. This can not be. Me, not spare, my Mariska. Now, when I feel well finally. Cardboards, Ágika! Here you go. If it is for major lord, has desire for him really. What his blessed hand yes. He does it more nicely, than the mom or me. Wow. So quickly. One of the more beautiful ones, than the other one. And the kind Tót lord? Does he not accompany us? - Me? - Daddy? My kind dad? I....noooo! Why? What? Shall I sit over there? For me it I do not have a manual skill. Maybe you make of the box derogatory? No. No. But...for major lord... a lot may allow everything to himself. That, if i it would be done, and its news would be going in the village, and...well... Do not speak more, dear Tót lord. I totally understand. You disdain this work and you ruin others' joy. I am sorry that I was inconvenient for you. I travel with the first coach tomorrow. Tót family it was implored. they pleaded to him. It was asserted, that misunderstands the situation. Since nothing happened, that could have hurt it. This may not be something else, only a terrible misunderstanding. One single of their desire,that let everything be put onto his mood. Let us forget the whole one, kind Tót. - Maybe, that the mistake is in me. - No. I misunderstood your behaviour. But I would like this not to occur many times. This never happens more, respectable major lord. Well this not something turned out nicely. Not trouble. It is not the important one. The beauty arrives then. It is necessary to wait its time out only. It is the important one that we are here. We are together. Our hand moves. The time goes by. How do you feel? Very much, very much good. Really, very well. Tót family did not get used to the night out however. After 2-3 clocks the signs of the tiredness on they start appearing. And this the tiredness showed on disciplined Tót mostly. What it is possible to understand of course. Since he slept in his bed already at this time another time Well you know, simply fascinating this work. Do not know to say, how much I enjoy it. I know that now, this work brings me into order then totally. If only would be so. We would be glad the best, major lord. Are you not tired? I hope so, you speak if you want to sleep. To sleep. Yet what no. Very good one like that to do this with the major lord. I am me so with him somehow. I would do it until a morning the with pleasure. Tell dear Tót. Where is he? Excuse me. It fell down. Is there a some kind of paint in the house? - Paint? - Yes. This environment is monotone. Do you not see it? This grew tired. You know what I had it made with the sentry boxes in the barracks? With a red, yellow, blue paint painted they. Into the boards I had angles beaten in order for it not to be possible to lean against him. What is your opinion? Interesting. Should we paint the walls? Everything. Oh it doesn't matter. Let us continue. Let the hand move. He was cut it off his new sock. He was crying very much. How I remembered him, that strike one 8 monthly children. I don't know, I already said that Gyula followed away when I took the road from the front line to the station? - Really? - That's right. I took a liking to that child very much. We took a bath, we were drinking beer next in the canteen. Oh my sweet god. Do you hear this, my sweet good Lajos? I hear. What happened? I yawned. Will be best if I am packing and i'm on my way. I think, I was not the wrong one. I asked it, you are not sleepy. But, he not sleepy, respectable major lord. Why did he yawn then? Why you yawned my Lajos? I don't know. Only some. Only some? Did you yawn because you feel well possibly? Yes, major lord. Here you go to believe, major lord. That's right. Please make a statement, dear Tót. What would you do now the with pleasure? - May I be honest? - Of course. Well... I now the with pleasure... I would make a box a little. Yes? - And you, Mariska? - I too. - Ágika? - I too, of course If you insist on him this much... I do not regret it. I ask you for it only, let this not occur repeatedly. No. Never again. Nevermore. No. No. Here you go to believe. Do not believe this about me, major lord! Towards a dawn Mariska's limbs started becoming stiff. Ágika was refreshed again. He was Tót in the baddest state. His brain rumbled. His sense organs stopped working. He hallucinated. It was light. I think, his time to go to bed. This was superb one. We felt very well. - I hope for it tomorrow we continue. - Of course. Good night. - Good night. - Major lord. Sweet dreams major lord. Sleep tight, Ágika. Mom. He kissed my forehead. What do you say to this? We have to go to bed, my sweet good Lajos. Ow, my Gyula, my Gyula. My small son. Well, not wonderful, mom? He was not tired. With regret inform it the Hungarian Red Cross, that yours son, Tót Gyula is an ensign in the fight against the enemy, died a hero. (Field post 809/3) The telegram arrived in the morning from Gyula's obituary. Gyuri got confused totally. Because it occurred to him that a field postcard came to Tót's address in the today's post. He remembered well. Gyula wrote it. Gyuri did not understand it. He thought that who can write a postcard may not be dead. So, not the telegram valid, but the postcard. Tót family! Lajos uncle! Good news! A half year was not his so good day! Do not bellow, you. The major lord sleeps yet. Show me. - The child. - Let me see. Dear my parents and Ágika! I write this postcard on the railway station. The train of the major lord before with 5 minutes went away. Imagine, the a half year was not so good I day. I took a bath and drank beer, the major lord was very kind. Please, be cordial to major lord, you make big good one with this for me. Gyula. Ow, let there not be something wrong with him only. From the cold beer caught cold always. Do not be scared. He can look after himself. Drink. Well onto..the your kind son's health. According to the hygiene that ideal one, if somebody is 8 hours sleeps daily. But for who he has to work day and night, in is needed let it have him with 5-10 stole minutes. And they collectively almost so restful. After some days Tót family it was learned, that it is possible to doze off at the chandler while he measures the soda out. During watering in Cipriáni family's shady-cool garden. While the boiling soup does not get cold. While the coffee does not boil over. Or during review in the fire engine house If the engineer of the aggregator does not wake up the man. - Lajos. Lajos. Lajos! - What is it? Is there fire? - No. - What do you want? Arrange it Lajos, how I shall be allowed to speak the with major lord. You know, from my younger brother's thing. Who because of anti-state rummaging in front of a military court claim? They accused it of it. Respectable major lord. - Where did he serve? -At car artillerymen. - 629/12 please. - His rating? Corporal. You know him, Tót? I know him. Good Hungarian man? Good Hungarian man. Why he bring out and why fluttered at the time of a command annunciation the red flag? Because...he was have a cold. I report...he was have a cold. He wanted to take out his handkerchief, they accused it of it subsequently. Please. In consideration of a Tót family, I promise,I will look for it. - Yes. - But do not expect partiality of me. Yes. Na, what, Mariska? What? This is the aim! This does not untie everything of course. I hope so I may expect you to be honest. Who gets tired, will speak. Yeah? - Of course, major lord. - Good. What happened, Tót? Nothing, major lord. Because looked at leftwards, behind my back. Yes...that. A butterfly was flying in. Butterfly? What kind of butterfly? Well as such...on him is two yellow patch and one red patch. And you meanwhile the make of box you deal with butterflies ? I just looked over there only. Did you just look over there only? But you gave a thought to it meanwhile, following it would be good, to take, to strike dead. Happened so, or did not happen so? I believed only a little onto its. I suspected it. Look, Tót family. I am very grateful for your hospitality, but this may not be going so keep moving. This makes sense if this gives us pleasure equally only. But if you deal with something else steadily meanwhile... This is totally vainness. Waste of time. I learned it on the front at my own crew, what the fact that somebody finds the time to think means. The one like this becomes the plaything of their own thought and they are due so then, than Tót lord. The red one is spotted with a butterfly. I get true one in everything the respected for major lord, but I believe it so, it is not possible to prevent it if something wants to occur to the man. But could be. Why not could be. It is necessary to modify the circumstances only. And this our start goes by. What there is an obstacle to this? You understand it the thought procession? I believe it yes. Well... I do not take something here and there yet. Me, too only here and there. Oh, be thinking now, Tót. Well, Tót? Did something occur to you already? Yes. Now.. something... But no. You like thinking though, Tót. It is an occasion here now. Here you go, Tót. There is time now. You think onto our Gyula and strain the your sluggish brain, my good Lajos. Do not whisper Ágika! I do not whisper, major lord. Unbutton your jacket, if some more comfortable. - Maybe then now. Now. - Na. I did not remember what I wanted unfortunately. - Something is other entirely. - Oh see! This is the trouble! The start is very plain though. It would be necessary to think of it only, how you did the boxes before me arriving here. Ágika cut the cardboards, I folded. And kind Tót what did he do? - I got some air. - Oh see! Oneagainst one! I cut the cardboards alone though now, you though three people you make the folding, three against one. He has time to look at butterflies at night, to doze and you let your thoughts ramble. - And why? - Why? - Why? - Ágika? I believe it, because the our margin-cutting small. Bravo! For your daughter is golden mind. Thank you, Ágika. Is child's play, the others already! Right, kind Tót? Yees! - Good night! - Good night! He kissed me. You saw it, mom? Daddy! Daddy! Did you find something, Ágika? - Yes. - Me, too. Where the Daddy was? - Tót lord! Tót lord! - Daddy! Tótlord! Where is he? - Tót lord. Tót lord! - Yes? Yes, major lord. - Take a look. - Good. Very good. - Ow, daddy! - The child. Ágika.My daughter. I am here. Ow. Kind major lord. On this night, this was the sixth Mariska and Ágika may have slept finally. The major and Tót the new on margin-cutting worked. Major lord. Kind major lord. My God. Sweet major lord. This was a unexpected thing. The major had the anvil fetched from the smith. Towards a dawn the situation was even badder unfortunately. It was silence however on the next night. A little sawing was heard, they did not pay attention to him. Nothing disturbed their dream on this night. Approximately until midnight. Mariska. Mariska! Ágika! To get dressed! Awake. We are ready! Need some help, Tót? Are you able to carry it alone? My God. Beautiful. And how works? You notice it immediately, Ágika. First...we begin it with 5 cardboard. - Mariska,come. - I'm coming, major lord. We start it then. And now, listen. Oh, what you say to him, ...what? - Dear Jézus, what a machine. - Wonderful. Simply wonderful. And...notis needed scissors. Look here! Christ! - Cuts it so, even the cheese. - Well I was not able to imagine one like this. You know, how much there are now in him? 10! 10! - 10 cardboards! - Wonderful! - Ugye? - Great! It was worthy. We struggled for him, but was worthy. Where is the kind Tót? He was it here yet before. - Lajos. - Daddy! Do not sleep eternally. #Girls! Respectthe lad well.# I am glad that you have a so good mood, my dear Tót. I do not know it, how I shall express my gratitude. - Come on, major lord. - But yeah, yeah. - I'm happy and satisfied. - I am glad. I say only so much that was Helebrant second lieutenant till now my room-mate. But, if I return onto the front, the your dear Gyula your son gets into his place. This is beneficial because it surrounds the schoolhouse, a guard doubled where I live. Oh my God. For my son, good man like this his commander. We thank you. Kind angel. Oh what are you doing? ! Na! Mariska! Ágika! This the happiest minute of my life, that we may start the work, the with new margin-cutting. - How do you feel? - Very well. Oh, let us come then! Come on! More boxes were made ready on this night, than till now altogether. What is it Lajos? Did you buy some machine? Nothing a lot for you, my dear little son. Dear Tót, when I arrived here, some I had the nervous system being damege, that nightmarish dreams crippled and I felt it nowhere into safety myself. I may relate it since then, that I healed, and I was grew young on this pleasant place. Tót was the very moment understood that the major took the shade for a ditch. What should he do now? Let it reveal a major's mistake, let him humiliate it? Or let him jump, and accepts with this the appearance as reality . It made the thing difficult that the engineer of the aggregator just realised it then. Good evening, major lord! These July evenings are beautiful. Hello Lajos. Where you going, my dear Tót? Excuse me. We are glad infinitely that the for major lord good is his public feeling. - And you know what I may say thank you for it to this? - What? For the making of the boxes. There is something uplifting in this occupation. Something is clear beauty. Something is throbbing impetus. To box the best one on the world. The worthiest is an human activity It is so really. Sometimes daydream it, what there would be if even more, much more are men could deal with box folding? That time comes possibly once, when can be put on all of the humanity will be. It would be a big thing. Sure, I think that it is not allowed to make this uniform. All nations could fold boxes with an other form with an other colour. The Dutchmen round one like that, than their cheese. The French in the colours of the tricolour. The Germans do the largest, most beautiful boxes then naturally. But this does not mean it, that for the Russians, it will be allowed to fold boxes if we defeated them already, sure only small ones, than the match box. Clear, that this will not be soon, Hard work is needed for him. But if the idea wins if it succeeds all of the humanity will bless our name. You do not pay attention to me, Tót! - But yes. - But your mind is somewhere else entirely! Maybe is on the red spotted butterfly? No, no. Well then what? Major lord. I know an other road. Somewhat longer, but more beautiful. Let us go under the gardens. Why? This road is very good. What happened to you, Tót? Tell? Honestly. -Be sick at something, major lord. - What? It before, when we were spent on this you jumped a ditch. And I jumped over. Of course, the man it jump the ditch. But...was not a ditch, major lord We jumped a shade. - You are crazy, Tót. - Me? No. -Maybe I am the fool? Ow my god...no, no, no.How I would dare this assumed from my son's benefactor? If you knew that this is the ditch, not ditch, you should have warned! Into a unpleasant situation brought for before Sóskuti. Since just yeah. If I speak on the before Sóskuti,then ...major lord. ...let us go rather under the gardens. Nothing saves your action, Tót. I insist on this road already now. Take care, major lord! Jump, Tót. After the respectable major lord only. Do not argue. I do not like the politesse. - Sóskuti! - Yes, major lord! The thread of his hair will not bend for your younger brother. Thank you very much major lord. # Red the sky above the crags, # # 100 bombs detonate, # # You give a thought to it, who loves you, # # Write my angel, on a pink postcard, # # Our heart, if simultaneously palpitate, # # I return on a day. # # Our heart, if simultaneously palpitate, # # I return on a day. # I do not dare to tell my yesterday's dream to you. Imagine. I was a bag of itching dust, which they scattered into a beautiful girl's neck. Well as I am going below, continually below, that girl was laughing because of my touch. - Interesting. I dreamed things like this. - Really. And what? Is shivering even now my back, if I remember him when you touched my navel. How do you fold that box? What kind of work is this? Did you say something, kind Tót? He said nothing, respectable major lord. Only...only...his new habit for him, that holds a piece of meat in his mouth and does not swallow it until clocks. Well why does not spit it out? Spit it out if you cannot swallow it, my sweet good Lajos. Show me I think you understand that there is a limit to my patience. I'm done. Oh, my God. Is packing. he leaves. What will be with our Gyula? You have to go in to it promptly now, you have to ask an apology. - I do not go. - But you go in. Right now. - That god is not, that let me go in. - Lajos! - Daddy! - Where are you Lajos? - What's up with you, daddy? - Leave me alone in peace. - Think of our son. Our only son, my sweet good Lajos. The colds, the big Russian colds come. ONE WEEK. ONLY ONE WEEK, PRAMOD. SO YOU WILL COME FOR MY BIRTHDAY? OF COURSE I'LL COME FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY. I WOULDN'T MISS THAT. I PROMISE. SHUT UP. YOU'LL BE NEXT. I know I promised you. - WON'T YOU COME FOR MY BIRTHDAY? Uh, Pramod, I'm really sorry, but-- I have to go to class. BYE. JACOB. JACOB. - HELLO. - Mrs. Shaw, it's Jacob. HI, JACOB. YOU WANT TO TALK TO PRAMOD? NO, THAT'S FINE. JUST LET HIM SLEEP. NO, HE'S AWAKE. I'LL GO GET HIM. THAT'S OKAY. I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU. IS SOMETHING WRONG? Are you okay? YEAH. DID WE GET THE MONEY? Jacob? YEAH. YES, I THINK SO. Then what's the problem? I'M NOT COMING BACK, MRS. SHAW. I have to stay here. COME ON. * ... FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY * IT'S GONNA START RAINING MEN * IT'S RAINING MEN, HALLELUJAH * IT'S RAINING MEN, AMEN * I'M GONNA GO OUT, I'M GONNA LET MYSELF GET * ABSOLUTELY SOAKING WET * IT'S RAINING MEN, HALLELUJAH * IT'S RAINING MEN, EVERY SPECIMEN * TALL, BLONDE, DARK AND LEAN * ROUGH AND TOUGH AND STRONG AND MEAN * GOD BLESS MOTHER NATURE * SHE'S A SINGLE WOMAN TOO * SHE TOOK ON THE HEAVENS * AND SHE DID WHAT SHE HAD TO DO * SHE FOUGHT EVERY ANGEL * AND REARRANGED THE SKY * SO THAT EACH AND EVERY WOMAN * COULD FIND HER PERFECT GUY. MR. JACOB. PRAMOD. PRAMOD, COME HERE. OHHH. I MISSED YOU. OH, I MISSED YOU. YOU'VE BEEN FINE? YES, EVERYTHING IS VERY GOOD. WHAT IS THIS? YOU'RE SO TALL. WHAT IS THIS? LET ME HAVE A LOOK AT YOU. LET ME SEE. OH NO, PRAMOD. YOU'RE TALLER THAN ME. WHAT IS THIS, PRAMOD? WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS THIS? AND YOU GOT NEW GOALS AND EVERYTHING. - ARE YOU HAPPY WITH THAT? - YES. - MISSED ME? - MUCH. PRAMOD, I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT SOMETHING. YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER RIGHT AWAY BECAUSE I'M STAYING HERE ALL WEEK. - OKAY? - YES. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME AND LIVE WITH ME IN DENMARK? I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T THINK SO. BUT YOU KNOW, WE CAN COME AND VISIT AS MUCH AS WE WANT TO. BUT I WANT TO STAY HERE. EVERYTHING IS SO GOOD HERE NOW. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE THERE. YOU DON'T LIKE PEOPLE THERE. YOU SAID SO YOURSELF. YES, BUT YOU-- BUT THEN WE WON'T SEE EACH OTHER, PRAMOD. YOU CAN COME AND VISIT. YOU WANT TO GO OUT AND PLAY? YES. GO. PRAMOD, PRAMOD. No, you've already had some. Go away! Come on, Pramod. You have to go to class. - They want to meet you. - Me? What do you mean? - They want to meet you. - Why? I don't know. They just want to meet you. The CEO is Danish. He wants to shake your hand before giving us the money. Perhaps he doesn't trust us Indians. - Let him come, I'll shake his hand. - They want you to go to Copenhagen. I know what he wants, but I'm not going there. "This is the cat..." "...that killed the rat." It's not possible. I can't leave the kids. "That lay in the house..." "...that Jack built." Pramod has a birthday soon. It's not possible, Mrs. Shaw. "That worried the cat..." "...that killed the rat." And then I have to go all the way to Denmark to shake somebody's hand. He'll take a photo of me and show all his rich friends he's done good. This is not up for discussion. - I have to think about it. - No, you won't think about it. You will go, wear a suit, get a haircut, behave nice and smile. Please, Jacob. You know as well as I do that this is our last chance. Otherwise we'll have to close down. Then these children will have nowhere to go. They'll be on the streets. Please. You owe the children that much. This is our last chance. Are there only rich people where you are going? - Yes. - No one is poor? - No. Some have more than others. - If I was rich, I'd be happy. - I know, but people there are idiots. - You hate all the rich, Mr. Jacob. Is it because the houses are far apart that people are far apart? I'll tell you all about it when I get back, right? What's wrong? Pramod? You're not coming back. I know it. I promise that I'll be back for your birthday. I told you so. Pramod, come on. Go away! Go away! - Come on... - Just go away! Mr. Jacob! - Why do you have to go? - Because I have to. I have to go home and get some money. So we can buy new books, medicine and food. And help all the others. Do you promise to come to my birthday? I swear. And I'll be calling you every other day. Okay? And that's not going to be a lot of times, because I'll be home in 8 days. Perhaps you can take me there one day. Perhaps. - Are you hungry? - Yes. "In the yard, a flock of sparrows saw him and began to shout:" "Tit tit! Tit tit! Oh, look at Nils Goosey-boy." "Look at Thumbietot! Look at Nils Holgersen Thumbietot!" "Cock-a-doodle-do, cried the cock." "Cock-a-doodle-do!" "Then the hens came. Peck, peck, peck..." We'll stop here for tonight. You have to sleep. Into bed with you. Sleep tight. Good night. Good night, Morten. Good night, Martin. It will be fun to see what important thing I forgot. Yes, it will be lovely. As long as there's food and wine, everything will be fine. - You're not nervous at all? - No, I'm looking at it as a test. - Of what? - Anna will marry many times. The first wedding is always hard. With a little luck, it will be okay. Jørgen... Jørgen? Yes? - Mother, aren't you in bed? - I can't get on line. Don't speak to me like I'm senile. Why can't I get online? There's poker in three minutes. Why did we have to get that damn wireless network? But it's working now. Thank you. - Sleep tight. - Don't stay up all night. Sorry. - Could we teach her to knock first? - I've tried, but she's senile. Only when she wants to be. - I'll send her to a home tomorrow. - Do you promise? - Come back soon. - Bye, Jacob. - Bye bye. - Bye, Mr. Jacob. That's me. - May I take your bag? - No, thanks. Please step inside. Main switch. The bedroom. BO television. The first of the suite's two bathrooms. There are also three toilets. Mini bar. Safe. Larger bottles here. If there's anything else you'd like just say so. Flat screen. Air-conditioning. BO stereo in the corner. Sauna. Adjustable temperature. Timer. On/off button. The same goes for the Jacuzzi. On and off. Private rooftop terrace. The old university. The cathedral where the Crown Prince got married. The Round Tower. And if you need anything else, press three. Excuse me. Excuse me, sir. - Jacob Pedersen? - That's me. Christian Refner, I'm here to pick you up. Do you have a coat? No? Then let's go. - The room's okay? - It's fine. It used to be a department store. Funny isn't it? - So, Jacob with a C or a K? - It's with a C. I'm Christian with a C too. - So you're meeting Jørgen? - Yes. - Do you know him well? - He's my father-in-law. - Or will be on Saturday. - Congratulations. Jørgen's fantastic. He's brilliant, really brilliant. - People often fear him, but don't. - Good. He's worth over a billion and started out flat broke. - But you can't tell. - That he started flat broke? No, no... - Jacob Pedersen is here. - Have a seat. Just for a moment. - It was nice to meet you, Jacob. - Same here. Good luck. Give my regards to Jørgen. Hi. - Busy? - A little. - That looks nice on you. - Thanks. - Have a nice day, okay? Bye. - Bye. Jacob. Welcome. My name is Jørgen Hansson. - Jacob. - This way. Was the flight okay? Good. This is where we live. You can see Sweden on a clear day. If you feel like it, that is. A drink? No thanks. Cheers. Cheers. You have a video that can give me a sense of what goes on there. It will take more than a video to show you that. Meaning? Bombay has over a million child prostitutes. Four or five times that suffer from malnutrition. They're not on the video. Then there are those who die every day of... Well, what... Minor illnesses, minor infections... Completely minor things that could be cured for tiny sums if one only had the will. We've developed a sort of priority list... You're an angry man. That's good. It gives you a lot of drive. The educational supplies we need include books, tables, chairs, beds but what we need most urgently is medicine. Eventually we'd like to... Yes, yes. We'd like to take twice as many off the streets. - Would you like one? - No, thanks. We'd like to take in twice as many and vaccinate them which could be done all for less than five kroner a day. And we'd like to change our food program... - Do they all sleep in the same room? - We have 45 at the moment. We go to an area, and in two minutes, 40-50 kids gather, who we then feed. But after five minutes, there are 500 kids. - I don't need to see more. - The new kids... It's an extremely impressive project you have established. Very impressive. I've looked at different ways I might be able to help. Thank you very much. In all, I found five different projects. Yours is one of the most interesting. Thank you. We're glad to hear it. But may I ask you why? Like I said... It's a good project. I was thinking of an annual donation of one million dollars for four years. But I need more time to think through which projects I want to get involved with. So don't get your hopes up too high. Okay... I was given a different impression. Then let's look at the papers again, because... No, no. Let's forget the boring paperwork until Monday. We'll have lunch and I'll let you know what I've decided. - I've got a busy weekend coming up. - So I've heard. I spoke to the guy that drove me here. He's marrying your daughter? - Yes, Christian. You're not married? - No. - Got any family here? - No, I don't. Then come to the wedding tomorrow. It's a huge wedding. I don't know half of the guests myself. - It would be nice. - I need to... You don't have any other plans. We're through. See you tomorrow? We're looking forward to it. - Then I can get to know you. - Thanks for your time. - Hey, dad! - How are you? Were you jumping on the trampoline? Can I see? - Hi. - Hi. Everything okay? Except that Annette can't cope with the stress. Then now's not the time to say another guest is coming. A business contact from India. You better do it gently... in stages. Hello, hello. Have you changed your mind? There's still time. - Yes, come on... You've got time. - You're just jealous. Yes, of course. You're much too beautiful for him. Will you love and honor her, for better or for worse in good times and bad as husband and wife til death do you part? Yes. And now I ask you, Anna Louise Hansson do you take Christian Refner as your lawfully wedded husband? - Yes. - Will you love and honor... - I'm very sorry. - That's okay. Those who before us have pledged to live as man and wife confirming before God and those assembled here their solemn vows, I therefore pronounce you man and wife. Don't throw them yet. Come here. I'll show you... - Hi. - Hi, Jacob. - Doing well? - Yes. - Hi. Welcome. - Thank you. - This is my wife. - I see. Have you met Anna? You must. - This is Jacob, who I told you about. - Congratulations. Christian. This is Christian's mother. There you are. Care for a drink? Yes, please. - Cheers. Welcome. - Thanks. - Can I play? - Yes! Are you any good? Good? ! I'm the best. Aren't you playing together? I stand not just before you, Anna but also my boss and father-in-law, Jørgen and Helene and, of course, the rest of you. Anna, we met at Jørgen's firm when it was in the suburbs. I didn't dare speak to you because you were the boss's daughter. Then one day you needed to borrow 1000 kroner. Jørgen wasn't there and so I had to lend it to you. You'd think he was marrying Jørgen. But Jørgen and Helene, I would like to thank you for the way you've welcomed me into the family. I know you think it's early for Anna to marry but please know that it feels very right to me. Anna, I love you more than all the world. I'm thrilled you'll have me. Please toast to my beautiful bride and her fantastic family who have welcomed me so kindly - - Jørgen, Helene, the twins... Cheers. Christian's lovely, don't you think? He's nice. - He's so cute. - Cute? Maybe. - I dated him before Anna. - Was he your boyfriend? But Anna gets whatever she wants. It's not traditional for the bride to give a speech but everything's gone so well so far. I know Mom's waiting for something to go horribly wrong. I'll do it now so that you can relax. My speech isn't for you, Christian. I love you and you know it. I couldn't be happier than I am today. And don't worry. I'll pay back the 1000 kroner. But I'd like to thank Mom and Dad. Mom, I know we argue a lot now and then but you are the best, the most loving and the most loyal person I have ever met. And Dad... When I turned 18 a few years ago you had to tell me that you weren't my real father... genetically. You told me how Mom had known another man and we didn't talk for almost six months. It wasn't until I met Christian that I began to understand why you did what you did. You did it to protect me, so I'd have a mother and father like everyone else. I've had a dad. You've been the best father anyone could ever wish for. And if I could have chosen, I would have chosen you, Dad whether you're my father or not. So I would like to say thank you. Thank you for today and for everything. And thanks for being the way you are for as long as I can remember. So I'd like to propose a toast for Mom and Dad the loveliest couple here tonight. - Cheers. - Cheers. Hi. Why are you sitting here all by yourself? Because I want to. Weren't you ever taught not to abandon a lady with 7 old maids? Listen, I've got a plan. If you wait a little and I wait a little we could go into town after they dance. You and me. I know a place where they make fruit with drinks in them. - You could come along. - I don't think so. I'd like to be alone for a while, okay? - I mean it. - Yes. I won't tell anyone if you come along. I won't tell Anna. - I don't want to talk to you. - No. - Are you angry? - Are you stupid? Go away! I don't know what the hell to think, Helene. - About what? - Too much fits together too well. But then I think you wouldn't have done that to me. I'd like to talk, but not right now. I simply can't believe you've done this to me. I haven't done anything. What have I done? Is she my daughter? Of course not. She is mine and Jørgen's. What were you thinking? - Is she my daughter? - I'll call tomorrow. - I asked you a question! - I'll call you tomorrow! Won't you come to bed? - Why did you do it, Jørgen? - Do what? I didn't know it was him, Helene. It's just too much of a coincidence. - He shouldn't have come. - No. But we can't control everything in the world. Hi, it's 602 again. Do I have any messages now? Fine. Thanks. - That's nice. - Let me have a look? - It's got small swastikas on it. - They're not swastikas. It's wonderful. It's from... - It's from Allan and Kristina. - One of our really good lawyers. He'll be fired for giving such an ugly vase, right? - Put it over there. - It goes in the basement. I have to talk to Helene. Listen, I don't like this either, but I need to talk to her now. - Come in. - Thank you. Wait here. Helene, we have a guest. - Wanna play football? - Hi. - Thanks for coming yesterday. - My pleasure. - Can we offer you something? - No. Helene, can we talk? - I was going to call. - But you didn't. Do you have a minute? Of course. Yes. - Let's go out to the kitchen. - Good idea. Let's go to the kitchen. - Or would you rather be alone? - No, I'd like you to come. Boys, stay with Anna and grandmother. - Jørgen, is everything okay? - Yes, unpack your presents. All this running to and fro. You old grump... - Did you lose again? - Yes. Don't come here like this. You should have waited for me to call you. - You didn't call. You didn't call! - Don't come here and intimidate me! I waited all day. Who are you? How can you stand yourself? We tried to contact you several times, but we couldn't find you. Come on. You're filthy rich. You could have hired an army. It abviously took more than an army to find you. To find a junkie drinking in India with hookers. You hid my daughter for 20 years because I cheated once? Do you really think that's why, Jacob? Because you cheated once? You're a very small person. - What are you telling me? - You're not listening. - Then tell me. Tell me! - Let's all calm down a little. Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? - We'd have figured something out. - I didn't know until I got back. I met Jørgen and... No, Jacob, I don't owe you anything. You don't owe... Aren't we talking about your daughter? - Shouldn't she know her father? - She has a father, a good father. I don't know what the hell to say. What you did is so wrong. You know that, right? But you have to tell her. You owe her and you owe me. She doesn't give a shit. You are so infuriating. Is that the language you use in this house? I just think that it would be good if you told her. If you don't, I will. I'm going to see what's going on. We thought he was dead. - We didn't think he existed. - You're still lying. No, I'm not lying. Jørgen tried to find him in India lots of times. He never reacted and so we assumed that he wasn't... - I don't have time for this, Mom. - Jacob was a big, immature child! He fucked everything with a pulse. He was drinking himself to death. He did drugs. He had grand ideas, but did nothing. He probably means well, but you can't trust him. - He wants to save everyone, but... - I don't care if he's fucked a goat. I have a right to know who my father is. - You can't manipulate people like that. - We're not. Fuck off and leave us alone! Not right now. You're far out. What's Jørgen's reaction? Anna? - Should I come along? - No. I'll wait here, okay? - Hi. - Hi. Would you like to come in? I mean, please come in. Thanks. I don't know what to say. It's a little new to me. For me too. Didn't you know I existed? I'm sorry. You shouldn't say sorry. You're the only one who can't be blamed. - Would you like a Coke? - Yes, please. I think we've got one here. - There aren't any more. Some water? - That's fine. - He's nice... Christian. - Yes, Christian. He's waiting in the car. - Mom said you were dead. - Well, okay. But apparently I'm not. Would you like a glass? It's a little tight. It needs a... How long are you staying? Do you have time to meet? Yes. I'd like that very much. - I'm here all the time. - I could call. Yes. - Or I could give you my number. - If you've got one, I'd like that. - Now you know I exist. - Yes. I've got a pencil and some paper. - Here you go. - Thanks. I better go now. Bye. I'II be home very soon. Do I have any brothers or sisters? - No, not really. - What do you mean? There's a little boy at the orphanage called Pramod. - Pramod? - Pramod, yes. I've taken care of him since he was a baby. - How old is he now? - He'll turn eight in precisely a week. He's this big. He's tiny, but he want's to be a footballer. Maybe it's stupid, but I brought some pictures, if you'd like to see them. Yes, please. Here I'm taking a bath. That's Lennart, my first boyfriend. He had a moped. - But he didn't want me. - Why not? Because I beat him at table tennis. It destroyed him. You can't do that! That was in Italy. That's Da... Jørgen. Was I silly to bring them? No, I'd like to see them all. What happened back then? Why didn't you come home? I just didn't. We had broken up. And you were drunk all the time, right? Yeah. And you did her friend? Yep, I think I actually did that. - Would you like dessert? - Yes, please. Jacob, I am glad you came anyway. I thought it all through yesterday and I became convinced we must continue. You would like to continue? As though nothing's happened? Yes, it fits even better now. - Well, let's try then. - Are you hungry? We need some lunch. We're going to lunch. Wasn't it strange meeting her again... Helene? Yes. Don't you think she's ageing well? She's still extremely beautiful. Cheers! Cheers. Why was I at that wedding, Jørgen? You knew. I didn't know. I didn't know you were that Jacob. - I don't believe that. - Well I can't change anything now. What do you want? - The honest or the official answer? - I'd like the honest answer. I'm just a good person. There's not much in this. We better complain. - I don't need any more. - We need another bottle. It's the best way to get to know people. Another bottle. - I don't think that would be wise. - You're not paid to think. Either bring another bottle or bring your boss. Understand? Or should I ask him to translate? - I need to go. - Why? We'd like another drink. - What's the problem? - We need a bottle of schnapps. We can't serve you when you're so drunk. So drunk? I've only just gotten started. - It's a policy we have. - A policy? A policy? That's a damned bad argument. If you want to get on in the world, you need to make decisions. When you break policies, you show decisiveness. Yes, and I think you should go home. You stupid, little asshole. Who do you think you're talking to? - Run off and get another bottle. - Jorgen, we'll go somewhere else. I'm not the only one that's drunk. Coming? I'm sorry. Empty already? Those silly little bottles. - Mother helped too. - That's good. Helene, I would like to have a party on my birthday. It would be nice. Sure, but is one bottle of whiskey each enough? Jorgen, would you please tell me what this is all about? I couldn't be bothered. We're getting up early tomorrow and driving far. Why won't you let Jacob go home? You can't just run our lives in your sick head. Do you know what really doesn't suit you? - When you feel sorry for yourself. - Don't talk to me like that. But I don't understand what you're talking about! What have I done wrong, Helene? Can't you tell me what I've done wrong? I've made a deal with Jacob. You should be happy. If you're so bored, get another job or a hobby. Instead of going around making my life hell. Fine, as long as I get peace. Helene! I must admit it got a little wet. - I hope I didn't scare you. - It takes more than that. - How about a drink? - It's a little early. I've changed the plans a little, so it will take a few more days. Why? I can't do that. I need to be back in two days. Listen. Instead of an annual donation - - I've talked to my advisors about establishing a fund. It means something to all of us that you're Anna's biological father. So I'm establishing the fund in Anna's and your name. You two will decide how the money is spent. So you've chosen my project? - I just said that. - And you want me to do it with Anna? Yes, why not? She has shown a great interest in aid work. My advisors have gone through everything and agree that a sum of 12 million dollars is realistic. - 12 million dollars? - I know the dollar is low. All kidding aside. You can quickly see that it will cover a whole year for 65,000 children. Including room, board, school and administration. 65,000 children. That's more than are born in Denmark in a year. Think of what that money could do. You could really do something. - What do you get out of this? - Nothing. I keep my good life. I buy remission for my sins. And we're almost family. - Why are you doing this? - I'm assuming you're interested. Yes, damn it. Of course I'm interested. Jacob, stay here. You'll get to know Anna better. You could take out Helene for dinner. I'm going to to Sweden with the twins. We're going fishing. You're a strange man, Jorgen. She has to eat. She's a terrible cook. - Take care of yourselves, okay? - We will, mother. - Don't lose too much online. - I won 235 dollars last night. Congratulations. Try and hang on to them. - Mom did it up wrong. - We can't have that. There. Hop inside. Thanks. I want to come with you. No, out of the question. You don't want to, Helene. It's sons and their father in the woods. Or else they'll turn out gay. Promise to use a life vest and water wings. And the boys too. - Bye bye! - Bye. Hi. - Can we talk? - What do you want to talk about? - We could start with Jorgen? - Stop already. Listen. Can I come in? Thanks. - So talk about Jorgen. - Can we sit down? We could find a chair. This is fine. May I sit here? Okay... Did you know Jorgen asked me to administer a fund? - No. What fund? - It's aid work. With Anna. - You'll run it with Anna? - With Anna. It's a very generous offer, but he's dragging things out. I want to know what's going on. If it's one of your games, I want it to stop. Stop being paranoid. You don't have to be poor to have good intentions. There are people with money and ideals. - Really? I'd like to meet one. - Hello, Jacob. Give me a break. You never had any ideals. I could be rude about your ideals and we could go on and on. - We could go on being rude... - Then tell me what he wants. He doesn't care about the orphanage or humanitarian work. It's bad business. What does he want? I don't know what he wants to do with the orphanage and Anna. I don't understand it, Jacob. Then let me ask you a different way: Do you know something I don't? No, Jacob, I know nothing. That's all I wanted to know. - May I offer you a cup of coffee? - No thanks. - Dare I offer you a glass of wine? - Only if you've got enough. Right. Dare I ask how you've been? The last twenty years? They've been a bit up and down. And you? I've been fine. Also a bit hectic. - I just got a daughter. - Congratulations. - Do you have a wife? - No. - You haven't married? - No. A girlfriend? No. - Is it rude of me to ask? - No, no. - Why don't I get that wine? - Good idea. When I went home, I thought you would follow me. I thought so too. I thought you would come back. You did? But we didn't. We should go to India. - Why? - It's warm. They've got good hotels. Stop it. Why? Look at this apartment. We're lying on a mattress. There's lots to do. - It doesn't matter. - It does. - And we're going to Val d'lsere. - We can go there, but not India? Give me a break. Ever since you met your real, holy father you've been really irritating to be with. What about us? It's always Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, all the time. You can't change things now, Anna. Hello? Why are you sitting here? Sweetheart! It's lovely to see you. - I can't stand it when we fight. - Me neither. But we need to talk about this properly. - Yes. - Like grown ups. - Of course, sweetie. - So stop calling me sweetie. - What can I call you then? - You could call me Anna. Okay. Did you marry Jorgen for my sake? So that I had a father? No. I love Jorgen. Do you? A lot. So everything with Jacob was a mistake? - No. - What was it then? I was very in love with Jacob, but I was also very unhappy. About what? About being in love with him. We just hurt each other all the time. When you told me Jorgen wasn't my father why didn't you say Jacob was? Maybe because... because I wanted to forget him. Did you? Well... I thought so. - Who drove off last night? - It was Jacob. I thought Johannes drove him, but he couldn't have. - Jorgen lent him to Jacob. - He never lends out Johannes. He did to Jacob. It seems he is giving it all to that Jacob. Helene Hansson. I'd like to speak to Doctor Philippsen. Remember to lie. How big was it? You have to agree or she won't believe it... Good, off you go. - We caught one that was this big. - No way! It's true, but it got away. I have to go to town. Jorgen? Won't you stay for lunch? We ate on the way. I'll be home in a few hours. - Jorgen? I spoke to Doctor Phillipsen. - Yes. Phillipsen's under confidentiality. That's totally unacceptable. He promised me. He's betrayed my trust. You had promised him to tell me after the wedding, right? You've known for five months. I want to let it be for now, Helene. You don't have the time. What are you going to do? Anna and the boys must not know before it's absolutely necessary. Are you listening? Not before it's absolutely necessary. - Do you understand? - Yes. We'll figure something out. There's always a solution. There's always something in America... - There's nothing to do. - Yes, there is. There's nothing to do! - There's... - No! - There's nothing to do, understand? - You can't die! We don't get to decide, damn it. Let go. Get out. Get out of the damn car before I throw you out! Shut the door! - How long will you stay there? - One week, only one week. - You'll come to my birthday? - Yes, of course. I wouldn't miss that. I promise. Shut up, you'll be next. - I know I promised. - Won't you come for my birthday? Pramod, I'm really sorry... - I have to go to class. Bye. - No, wait. So, here you are. Please excuse the formalities. You only need to read the last three pages. Did Helene invite you to my birthday? - No. - You can't rely on her. - Then I better do it. - Thanks. There are a few things I don't understand. Can we look at it? What does that mean? It means that you and Anna have 100% control of the fund. No, not that. Here it is. The part where it says I have to live in Denmark. Yes, we haven't talked about that yet. To build an organization like that you have to live in Denmark. - Can't I just come to board meetings? - No, it's a demand on my behalf. Why should I do that? Because I said it's a demand on my behalf. You mean that? I can't spend half a year here and half a year there? Have I said anything I don't mean? Maybe everyone else kisses your ass, but I won't. - What do you mean? - You've lost your mind. What is that? Is that why I came? To meet Anna and see Helene? You want to buy me? - I don't want to buy you. - That's what it says here. Fine, then let's say that. Think of what you could do with the money. How many you could help. Wouldn't you sell yourself for that? - Come on. I know you would. - You don't know shit about me. I know all about you. You're a good person. Naive, but well-intentioned. Except for some water projects and some schools in Bangalore not one of your projects has succeeded in the last 15 years. You're good at finding people to help, but not at financing it. - You've been checking me out? - Your orphanage has to close. All your sweet little kids will be on the street again. You fat pig. Is it fun playing God, you big, fat pig? It's not true. I'm just saying that you're lying to yourself. You're an idiot if you don't take this chance. You can kiss my ass, Jorgen. - Jacob, wait. - I don't want to talk to you. You're right, Jacob. Don't touch me! I don't have time for this. I am sick, damn it! I'm the one that is out of time. Jacob, I am dying. You have to stay and do what we have decided. - Nothing has been decided. - Anna will need you. And Helene... And the boys... They're so young, Jacob. Look at me, Jacob! Don't you see that there is a point to all of this? You have a responsibility here, Jacob. Do I have to live on the other side of the world to get your help? Hi, Anna. It's Jacob. Would you please call me? I need to speak to you. Call as soon as you can. I'm leaving now. I have to go take care of my hubbie. Anna? Is something wrong? - Can I sleep here? - Yes, of course. Anna, what happened? There. - Hello. - Mrs. Shaw, it's Jacob. - Hi, Jacob. Want to talk to Pramod? - No, just let him sleep. - He's awake. I'll go get him. - That's okay. I have to talk to you. Is something wrong? - Are you okay? - Yes. Did we get the money? - Jacob? - Yes, I think so. Then what's the problem? I'm not coming back, Mrs. Shaw. Hi, sweetheart. - Are you managing? - I'm okay. He's been calling all morning. - I don't ever want to talk to him. - No. - Would you like some breakfast? - No thanks. - I need some breakfast. - Yes, you do. - Want anything? - A glass of juice maybe. What a little asshole. What a stupid little boy. - Thank you for coming. - Of course I came. I'll get a room though so I don't have to commute. I brought my teddy bear pajamas, some cookies and a glass of water sloshing about in my bag. I haven't been in Copenhagen this often since university. I delivered papers. - You did? - I sold flowers pretending to be blind. Helene, you have to tell her. Jorgen doesn't want us to. What are you going to do? I don't know. Here comes breakfast. It turns out I was hungry after all. May I see? You look so beautiful. You're so lovely. Yes, you are. And you're so soft. And you smell so nice. I forgot your juice. That's all we needed. That dumb juice. I'm sorry... There. Jacob. Right there. - There. - Thank you. Jorgen, here you go. Thanks. Does anyone have a pen? Thanks. Anna signed yesterday, so now I'm a poor man. Almost. - Your daughter is here. - Anna? Then show her in. - Well, thank you for your time. - You're leaving and she's coming? I don't think she came to talk to me. - I didn't expect her to come today. - Me neither. - Are you okay? - Yes. He had to hurry to the bank. - Hi. Good to see you. - Hi, Anna. I didn't think you were coming today. Why didn't you tell me? Why haven't you told me yourself? Why do you keep lying to me? Sorry, Anna... I didn't want to make you sad. Did you think I wouldn't be sad if you just died one day? - No... - What? I didn't want you to see me as a dead man before I was. I wanted us to be together as much as possible before anyone knew. If I knew you were dying, I wouldn't spend my time doing other stuff. And I want you to tell me these things. I want you to tell me. Anna, you mustn't cry now. It will hurt but it will pass, just like everything else. And now Jacob will be with you. I don't care about Jacob. You're my father and you didn't tell me you're dying. I don't want anyone but you. If you don't tell me you're dying, I can't say the things I want to say. To say that... I love you and that I don't want you to die and lots of other things... Come over here. I love you. Shouldn't you hurry up? They'll be here soon. You look great. Thank you. There, come on. - Are you still up? - It's skateboarding. Is it skateboarding? Is it exciting? - Move! - It's really exciting. Move! Then you have to go to bed in half an hour. Sleep tight. Jorgen was a diplomat, so he was sent down there. He sat down in the chair and he didn't say a word. Finally Baunsgaard asks, will they do it by 3 or will we have to pay overtime? Jorgen said, you won't have to pay overtime at least. I just fired all 42 of them. This story gets better and better. Last time it was 32. I don't know the cost in dollars and cents, but we almost went bankrupt. But we had integrity. Integrity, Jorgen. - And cheers to that, Jorgen. - Thanks. Cheers. - You're not drinking much tonight. - I probably shouldn't get drunk. I'll just start crying. I feel obliged to say thank you for all the kind words. Now I'm not the type that likes to hear my own voice in such a well filled room. But I am turning 48 after all. And there was so much I didn't manage to say when I turned 40 and much has happened since, so I think it's reasonable that I be allowed to steal ten minutes of your precious time. Because it is. Time is precious. The years have taught me that. Helene... I could stand here and brag about you for hours. But don't worry. I know you don't want me to. But I will say, that even though you can't always feel it - - I am extremely happy that you're with me. You are night and day, the heaven and the seas for me. The time I'm with you and our wonderful children confirms exactly what I would have said. Every acquaintance, every friend, every person who has a place in your heart... It is the time with them that really means something. Nothing else matters. Apart from the firm, of course. We've expanded a lot recently. We will continue to far into the future, I hope. Already today, cranes stand in London, New York and Singapore. It shouldn't be long before we can sleep in our own buildings when we visit Houston and Manila... I'll anticipate things a little and invite you all to the opening of our new headquarters in Singapore on January 5th next year. I'm sure my ten minutes are up, but I am very grateful to you for wanting to spend the day with me. And I would like to propose a toast to the future. Cheers! Jorgen? I talked to the boys' teacher about separating them after the holidays and moving Morten into a different class. It sounded quite reasonable. Because they're more... There are not so many cliques and... - Why are you telling me? - Would you like a glass of water? Helene, come here. - Why are you telling me this? - Because we have to decide. You don't need me any more, Helene. Everything is taken care of now, right? Anna and the boys... I'll just slow you all down. - Stop. - No. I'm the only one stopping for now. I just mean... Do you think you and Jacob will get together? Do you? Stop it. I would like to know. I just didn't want you to see me... like this. This is only the beginning, Helene. It will get worse from now on. - Can you manage? - Yes. I'm so damned pathetic... I don't want to... I don't want to die! I don't, Helene. I don't want to, damn it! I don't want to die! I don't! Damn it! Goddamned it! I don't want to! I don't want to die, Helene. Why? Praise be to God, our Lord Jesus Christ who by his great mercy has granted us hope in the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. Jorgen Lennart Hansson we commit your body to the ground. Ashes to ashes dust to dust. And to dust thou shalt return. Good-bye, Dad. - Mr. Jacob! - Pramod! Pramod, come here. I missed you. Oh, I missed you. - Have you been fine? - Yes, everything is very good. What is this? You're so tall. Let me have a look at you. Let me see. Oh no, Pramod. You're taller than me. What is this? And you got new goals and everything. - Are you happy with that? - Yes. - Did you miss me? - Much. I want to ask you about something. You don't have to answer right away, because I'm staying all week. How would you like to come and live with me, in Denmark? I don't know. I don't think so. We can come and visit as much as we want to. But I want to stay here. Everything is so good here now. I don't want to live there. You don't like people there. You said so yourself. Yes, but you... But then we won't see each other. You can come and visit. - You want to go out and play? - Yes. Then go. Subtitles by: Nicholas Hawtin Dansk Video Tekst Previously on "What about Brian" He still won't tell me who he did it with. I'm just gonna miss... seeing you. Mostly what I feel is just afraid-- Afraid that I'm gonna hurt it or be the wrong sort of mother. You are gonna be a great mother. You're my best friend. You always have been, and you know the rules-- Never let a girl come between us, right? I know about you and Marjorie. You think I wanted to fall in love with her? You think I wanted to kiss her? It just happened. You guys shouldn't get married. You can't marry Adam because I want you to marry me. If you love me, then you need to let me go. Oh, she's gone. I wish I could cry on demand. Thetearswon'tcomeout. Go ahead. I'll just find a place to park. You mean, you're not gonna drive off and disappear for 6 months? Because this is my car, and my lease is up soon. I'll be right back. Baby, get ready to get fragged. - Hey, where's Brian? - Parking. Where's Adam? Oh, he's outside obsessing over the briquettes. Is this even gonna work? Maybe we should hide the knives, just in case. Oh! Oh! No! No! You cheated. You cheated. Oh, come on. You looked away, honey pie. I didn't cheat. - Slap it. Slap it! - Slapping of the... no, no. See? That's why I don't play with you anymore. - You know what? You are so cute when you pout. - You cheated. Stop, stop. - You're so cute when you pout. - Stop, stop, stop. Poor baby. He's a loser. - Stop. - Oh, he's just a little loser. - You know what I think? I think we worry too much about Brian and Adam, you know? I think they're gonna be fine, don't you think? I sure hope so. Wanna slap it? Wanna slap it? Yeah, you don't want to start planning two of everything, like when your married friends split up. Honestly, I can't believe all this is about Marjorie. Baby, uh, these people are her friends, okay? I'm just saying, you were standing-- you saw Adam's face--right next to him at the altar. I don't care what she was going through. You don't put someone through that--public humiliation. - Orange, please. - All right, - this is the last orange. - So she should have gone through with it - so as not to embarrass Adam? - Yes. No. If she didn't want to get married, she saved him the trouble. I don't even know why she said yes. She's a coward. I think it actually takes a lot of courage to do what she did. No, no. Dave's right. I mean, you know, why go through with it just to get a divorce 2 weeks later? - Exactly. - I think actually she just kinda got really overwhelmed. Uh, she saw Brian and then freaked out and left. - Have you talked to her? - No one has. So she hasn't spoken to them, and they haven't spoken to each other. We ought to just invite Marjorie and have a really awkward barbecue. That'd be awesome. Oh, that's me. Where's my cell phone? Oh, uh, ooh, uh, here. Um, Suzanne. Huh. What is she doing calling on a Sunday? - Well, it's probably about the launch. - Juice box. Leviathan's going to be calling a lot, you know. - Hello? - Hey, handsome. Hi. I'm, um, in the middle of a family/friend thing. How do you know I'm not calling you about work? I don't. You're right. Um, what's up? - I got some ideas I want to pitch you. - Okay. How about tomorrow? How about tomorrow night? They'll probably sound better over a glass of wine. Uh, yeah. Sure. Hi. I know. Brian's here. Relax. All I said was "Hi". Are you gonna bite my head off if I ask you how you are? I had a great time in Bali on my non-honeymoon, - and tomorrow I start working. - That's good. But Brian is here. Yeah, well, wasn't that how you guys planned it? Adam, who are you blaming here? Marjorie or Brian? I'm not blaming anybody. I'm just... trying to move on with my life, Nicole. That's all. Yo, Adam. Get your scrawny ass in here. I need somebody I can beat. I'm sorry, Nicole. I gotta go help a friend. - Whoa. Sorry - Excuse me. Hey, honey. Guys and video games-- - What's the chick equivalent? - I don't know. Pedicures? Let me smell you. Oh, my. You have got a present for mommy, don't ya? You need a diaper change? - I'll do it. - All right. You have at it. - Go see auntie Nic. - Okay, baby. Who's the best baby? Not in your mouth. Not in your mouth. Ooh, that's yucky. Wait. Oh, gotcha! It's okay, baby. Auntie Nic's not really a baby person after all, is she? Okay, I know-- oh, not a "baby person"? Then what's this? Oh, well, I mean, honey, of course you're a baby person. It just takes practice. That's all. Maybe she just doesn't like to have her diaper changed. Oh, no. She doesn't. None of them do at this age, but you'll learn all that. Actually, you'll just get a nanny, and she can deal with all that stuff. Okay. There we go. We're all better now. - What? - Thank god for nannies, right? I'll make sure to get one that's a "baby person." - Somebody die? - Oh, hey. What's up? What took you so long? Oh, I had to catch a cab from my parking space, and I stopped by to pick up the tickets for the game tomorrow night. Here you go. Tenth row. Great view of the cheerleaders. Oh, that's right. The game's tomorrow. - Oh, you forgot. - No, no, no, I didn't forget, man. I'm psyched. I'm not gonna miss it. - What's up with all the files? - Uh, "vision state" stuff. Marketing ideas. Info about the webcast we're doing on Tuesday and the Leviathan contracts. - Adam's here, right? - Yep. I'm gonna give it to him today. You know, Leviathan's in a hurry to get it, and he did offer. That was before you crashed the wedding. - I'm never gonna live that down, am I? - No, pal. It's only been 2 weeks. I don't know what the statute of limitations is on something like that, but I'm thinking it's probably longer than 2 weeks. Look, we don't have a choice, Dave. The company's on life support, and we can't afford a new lawyer. - You're right. It's fine. - No, I'll take care of it. - Of course you will. - Adam's a pro... - Of course. All adults. - And, uh, we're all adults here. Let's play some video games. I hate this stupid game. Shoot! The game hates you. Next victim? Who's up for it? I am, if that's cool. Yeah, it's, uh, it's cool. - Oh, just gonna-- - I'm gonna go with you. - I'm gonna get the potato salad. - Would you go... Oh, I'll go with you. I'll go someplace else. I didn't know you could drift in this game. It takes practice. You brake, accelerate, and then you move the wheel like this. Watch it. Sorry. I didn't mean... Bri--Brian. Adam, come on. We cool? Everybody's cool now, right? Good morning. Yeah, but we definitely want something back before 10:00, okay, so would you... Hey, everybody, look who's back, huh? How was, um... "I... am... fine." Okay. I guess that clears that up. Back to work, people. As you were. Yeah, we'll talk... Nice post-it. Yeah, well, the last thing I need are people feeling sorry for me. Is there any thing else? 'Cause I have a few weeks of work to catch up on. Nothing. Well, just... the Campbell interview's this afternoon. - You ready or, uh-- - yeah, I can handle it, Jimmy. Who's this? Does it really matter? And... these? It's your future, dude. You know, I didn't want you coming back to an office full of... Marjorie. Nice. - You want to talk about it? - No, I'm good. - 'Cause I'm here if you want to. - I know you are. Thanks, Jimmy. Thank you. Okay, uh... This is officially now, uh, an M.F.Z.-- A Marjorie Free Zone. So we're rolling out the teaser campaign 2 weeks before the 21st, which is the hard date the game actually hits the stores, and the web site goes live with online, tv and trade pub print being our tent poles. We also are doing game rental inserts. We have a huge viral campaign push with cell phone cross promotion, playable demos that can be e-mailed with an embedded link to the site. We even posted game samples on Youtube, pointing towards the pre-purchase 10-day trial link - Brian. - All right. I just wanted to add that Dave and I are scheduled to be on "Game Gab" tomorrow. Oh, that's great. Half a million hits per day. Um, and where are we with your deal? We haven't heard from your lawyer, Adam Hillman. Right. Uh... we're on it. What about the bugs in the game? Dave, how are we doing on the bug thing? Dave? The level three bugs? It's bug. Singular. It means, uh, it's all being resolved. - We'll be ready for the duplicators - Without a doubt? We--we--just I.M.Ing the guys at the--at the shop. It's gonna be fine. It's all under control. "All under control"? That's the best you got? It's a glitch in the code. We'll figure it out. It could tank the whole game, Dave. Yeah, kinda like the fact that we don't have a signed contract which we would have if you actually talked to Adam instead of sticking his face under the sofa. Well, he started it. "He started it"? What are you, 12? We're supposed to have a nice lazy Sunday with friends, and you turned it into a smack down. I-I promise I'll take care of it. No. No, you said that before. Give me the contract. I'll take care of it. There's a lot riding on this game. - All right? - I won't let you and Adam screw it up. Uh, Dave? You're my ride. So, Mr. Campbell, why was your accountant giving you investment advice? Talked me into this limited partnership deal in Arizona. Son of a bitch cost me $2 million change. And Mr. Roberts wasn't licensed as an investment counselor, was he? No, he's my-- He was also a friend. So was he advising you as your accountant or as your friend? Listen, Mr. L.A. Law, I'm not on trial here. All right? So just stop grilling me and do your job. Unless you want to try for a matched set. I am doing my job, Mr. Campbell. But if I'm gonna take your stupid case into open court... I'm gonna need more than a girl fight between friends. Excuse me? 'Cause you've got crap for a case, Mr. Campbell. And the jury's gonna take one look at your fat ass and say-- - What? What? Did you hear what he just said? - He's not starving, and he's blaming a friend for his own stupid mistakes, so good luck finding a lawyer dumb enough to take you on. I think we all need to take a moment. Mr. Campbell-- looks like I found one dumb enough not to. - Mr. Campbell, I think if you sit down again... - No! I think that we could all... What the hell are you doing, man? - He doesn't have a case. - Maybe, maybe not but he's the client. Yeah, well, he was pushing my buttons. I don't care if he punched you in the face. Look, we're both trying to make partner here, Adam. All right? I haven't said anything to you before this because... it was none of my business, but now you're making it my business because it's affecting me. - So what's your point, Jimmy? - We both know this is about you and Brian. Now you don't want to talk to me, that's fine. But, uh, talk to somebody before you ruin both of our careers. Just a minute. I'm coming! - It's me. Thank god you're here. I have no idea what to wear and... Hi. Did you read my mind? No. These are just the maternity clothes that you lent me. Well, I don't need them back. I'm not gonna have a baby anytime. Ever. I-I don't need them. I--I'm going for a more... - Classic look. - Classic? Yeah, I have the money to spend on the really nice stuff, so I don't need to wear things that you bought at a garage sale for a dollar. So you're still mad at me? I don't need you to tell me that I should hire a nanny because I'm incompetent with your child. - I never said that. - You implied it. It was your tone. It was judgmental and... superior. If I said something that you took too personally, - I am sorry. - That's the tone I'm talking about. You know what? Can we please, please, please just go to the concert? We can argue in the car. It's what Dave and I do. you know this is... a work for me tonight. Thank you. Since we're winding down with the game... oh, I didn't get you... the bow and everything. "Tin men" and "Avalon." It's the rest of the "Diner" trilogy. Yeah, I know exactly what it is. And this madness between us is a curse... I don't wanna fight. - I don't wanna fight either. - Maybe you're right. Maybe I am sensitive because... I don't know much about babies. Every time I hold one, they start crying. I mean, it's like they...can sense my fear. It's not gonna be that way with your own baby. I swear. You'll be amazed. When I first had Geneva, it was like... I recognized her, you know? I mean, she had Dave's smile, and she had my eyes, and... What is it? I can't say anything right with Dave these days. I thought things were better. We haven't slept in the same bed in months. And ever since the wedding, it's-- He's been acting even more distant, you know. It's like... I don't understand. Something just changed that day, and I can't tell if I'm pushing him away or he's pulling away, or I... I don't know. It's just all... You still love him, right? Well... if I didn't, would I be crying at this stupid chick song? Look, your marriage is worth saving, so you gotta stop talking and start doing. - Doing what, though? - Being there for him. Being involved in what he likes and what he's doing. If it's work that's absorbing his time, get into it. If it's something he cares about, you gotta care about it, too. - I do. I do. - Don't tell me. Show him. I really like you, Suzanne. I want to work things out with Deena. Nobody's stopping you. I shouldn't even be here. You have a lot going on with your marriage, the launch... So why not just be in the moment? Be in the moment? Programs! Anybody need programs? Buy it now, buy it now. Programs. Programs. Programs. Hey, you want a program, man? - Thanks. I'm good. - Cool. I got ice cream. Anyone? Want ice cream? - No, I'm good. - Ice cream, guys. Who's--who's hungry? Ice cream? - What the hell are you doing here? - Meeting Dave. What are you doing here? Well, Dave gave me this ticket and told me to meet him here. - What a jerk. - Well, look, I have zero intention of sitting here with you all night, so... Fine. It's cool. I'll watch the game by myself. No way. I'm gonna watch the game by myself. No. If you're going in, I'm going in. They're no way that you're gonna go in. You're not going in. So what? What, we're just gonna stand out here all night? Yeah, I guess so. I don't even wanna go this is war. This is war. Programs! Programs! So let me get this straight. You fell in love with his fiancée? Before he proposed. Seriously, it's fine. That makes no difference. My guy should be the one going to the game. Exactly. My guy got invited first. Your guy kissed my guy's girl. I'm not gonna explain this again. Well, don't worry about it. You don't have to. I'm outta here. Fine. So am I. You don't want to be friends, consider it done. You know what you could use right now? Ice cold ice cream. Had to find some higher ground Had some fear to get around Adam, it's Marjorie. I know that you probably hate me right now, but could you please call me? Please? Last time through I hid my tracks So well, I could not get back. Yeah, my way was hard to find Can't sell your soul for peace of mind I hate these plates. Oh, look, honey. We got a food processor. Rest your head on me, my dear A blender. Took a world of trouble, Took a world of tears Took a long time to get back here Hey, it's me. I, uh... I thought we should talk. Well... actually, I... I don't know. Always had more dogs than bones I could never wear those clothes It's a dark victory Told us you were satisfied But it never came across Square one, my slate is clear Rest your head on me, my dear It took a world of trouble It took a world of tears It took a long time... I brought my computer. I thought I'd get some work done while she's napping. Oh, she's a big napper. You'll have plenty of time, but you have to get her down by 2:00 or else... Or else what? She turns into a monster? Kinda. There is a bottle in the fridge. There's sippy cups. Don't give her any juice though. Only water. And, well, you know where the diapers are, so... well, you really should use those organic disposable kinds because they're better for the environment. Well, here you go! Thank you, honey. You are the best friend ever. - Well, thank you. - For what? For believing in me. You coulda hired a babysitter, but you didn't. Oh, it's okay, bubba. Bye-bye! Okay. What does she like to play with? Uh, mostly Tupperware. I can't believe you did that. - What? Adam? - Yeah. I gave him the ticket as payment to look at the contract, which he did, by the way. Okay, you know what? Whatever. I was hoping that you guys would get back together, and just put everybody out of your misery. - But I'm guessing it didn't work, huh? - Just drop it. We need to focus on this interview, and I swear to God, if I hear the name "Adam" one more time, I'm gonna-- Hey. I'm Adam. What, are you the... doughnut guy? No, dude. I'm the friggin' host of the show. Oh, okay. We're being interviewed by a 12 year old. Hi. I'm 14, and my show gets the most hits on Viddimension. - You dig? - Yeah. I dig. I guess "dig's" back in. Now, I hope you noobs are ready 'cause I've played your beta, and I got some serious questions for you guys. So who's gonna walk me through the demo downloads? - I hope it's you. - Uh, I will. - Come on. Yeah, that's a good idea. - Yeah, that's awesome. Hi. Oh, hey, you must be Suzanne. I'm Deena, Dave's wife. Of course. Really nice to meet you. Dave's told me so much about you. Oh, not too much, I hope. Hi. Hey... honey. What are you doing here? - Hi, honey. - What are you doing here? Well, you know, today's a big day for you, so I just, uh-- I'm--I'm glad you came. And I finally get to meet the famous Suzanne. - I just can't believe it's taken this long-- - oh, it's been really crazy. - Well, I guess I'll just sit with you then? - No. I mean, no, don't-- don't you-- No, that got pushed an hour, so that I can watch your web debut. That's--That's... great. That--that--well, that worked out well. So I'll follow you. - Great. That's... - Yeah, come this way. - Good luck, honey. - Okay, thanks, babe. Thank you. - Oh, I--just-- - oh, don't worry about it. I'm sure they'll figure it out. Have fun. The Cylons are jamming the wireless. Every frequency. Okay, we need to establish our communications. Work out a plan to defend this temple while Tyrol searches. Defend it with what ? A dozen marines, maybe five more military ? We're gonna have to draft the civilians. Can I make a suggestion that you won't like ? Do you make any other kind ? Use Sam to command the civilians. You're not serious. - Lee. - Hey, Sam. Hi. I heard you were coming down. I guess it takes an emergency to get us in the same room these days. Can we do this later please ? Sam, I need you to command the civilians, form them into fire teams. I'll give my deployment orders through sergeant... Deployment orders ? Fire teams ? Come on, some of these guys have never even held a rifle before. Well, you've supposed to be the expert in turning civilians into soldiers. No, we were guerilla fighters. All right ? Hit and run. Keep moving, keep the enemy off balance. I've never had to defend a fixed position. That's a whole different game. You're just gonna have to learn it fast, because that's what we're doing. We're defending this fixed position. Until chief finds his eye of Jupiter. Okay, so you want us to risk our lives for something that you haven't even found yet ? ! Listen, Sam, I'm not even sure it exists. But I don't have to tell you every little godsdamn detail. You know what you have to explain to me ? The major's in charge on this one, okay ? Okay ? Well, I certainly wouldn't want to step between you and your major. In my thought, that went really well. - He'll do it. - He'd better. I miss Nicky. - Do you think he's okay ? - Yes, he's fine. - He's on Galactica. He's fine. - I know. You know, when I was growing up I hated everything about the faith. Rules, rituals, endless discussions at the dinner table. I used to sneak into my mom's prayer room. You know, holiest of the holies. I would dance around naked with porn magazines, just to defy the gods and tell them to frak off. I mean, I don't even know how I found this place. I just got this urge to start walking. And then, suddenly, here it is. You should see the look on your face when you're in here. There's this reverence. You even talk softer. I feel something in here. Something true. But here I am setting charges in this special place. Holiest of the holies. This is... The temple of five. If my parents could see this. And I'm gonna blow it up. I noticed some anomalies in the solar radiation belt. I made an analysis of the star's vibrational modes. Sure enough, it appears to be highly unstable. If you can believe it, on the verge of going supernova. When ? It could be tomorrow. It could be next year. There's no way of knowing for sure, Sir. When it does happen, the only warning that we're likely to get is a fast helium flash, we'll have to jump out of here before the blow hits the planetary system. Sir, I am not one to look for religious signs. But I can't get my head around these odds. That's Human and Cylon. Both converge on this planet at this exact moment just as the stars are about to go supernova ? I'm not a religious person, Mr. Gaeta, as you both know. So if this is the work of higher power Then they have one hell of a sense of humor. We have a stand off, very predictable. They have the eye, and they'll nuke it if we try to take it. And we'll shoot them down if they try bringing it up to Galactica. - How do we know they're not bluffing ? - You don't. We threes feel that we can't afford to take the chance. I think we're missing the big picture here. We have the opportunity to rid the universe of the human pestilence once and for all. We can discuss that after we get the Eye of Jupiter. After we find the path to Earth. Let me point out that it doesn't matter if we find Earth in 5 days, or if we find Earth in 5,000 years. We're machines. We'll still be around to savor the great miracle. So let them destroy the Eye. If, indeed, they have it. We have to take advantage of the situation and take down Galactica once and for all. Or we could stand here and do nothing. We're not doing "nothing", Cavil. - Plans are in motion. - I'm sorry, what does that mean ? D'Anna ? I've put a heavy Raider down on the planet's surface as soon as we jumped in. I thought that would be our best chance of slipping by their dradis. Seems I was right. Is there any reason the rest of us weren't involved in this decision ? It was a "need-to-know" mission. So now I am telling you, because you need to know. The point is, we have cut off their troops communications, and we've put our own troops on the ground. So as soon as the centurions retrieve the Eye, you can take out Galactica. Okay, here's the deal. We're out of options. The cylons have got us pinned on this rock, and our only way out of here is to hold this place until Galactica can send a rescue party. So I've divided you into two teams, okay ? Team one is gonna be distributing ammunition throughout the camp. Team two is gonna be making homemade tylium mines. I know that's not glamorous work, but we gonna need the extra firepower in case the cylons decide to take a shot at us. Look, I know some of you are scared. And that's okay, 'cause I'm scared too. But if we keep our heads, and we do our jobs, we can do this. We can all get out of here in one piece. And Berley has a list of your names and your assignments. Make sure you get with her. See you outside. That was good. Honest. You'd make a good officer. An officer, huh ? Like you. Someone who swears an oath, and knows how to keep it ? I'm not really sure - what you think is going on... - Don't insult me, okay ? I'm not stupid. I know my wife. I know how she is. We been married for a year and a half. What, do you think you're the first ? I chose to marry Kara. That's my business. But you... I don't know what the hell you think you're trying to do. Well, I'm trying to fight a war. I'm trying to get these people off this rock in one piece. Anything for the cause, Major. Gaius, I am on the verge of seeing the faces of the final five cylons. Maybe the face of God himself. ... the five lights of the apocalypse rising, struggling towards the light... Scenes revealed only to those who enter the temple. Only to the chosen one. The chosen one. The chosen one. The five await me. Gaius, I'm so close to knowing the truth. What truth ? Caprica. I'd like to think that we three have shared something. Transcended the barriers that separate people. And yet, somehow, the more time goes on, the more I find myself on the outside looking in. Well, that's not the case at all. Is it ? Because we three, we're integral. We're part of... We're finished. Baltar's and my destiny lie separate from yours, Caprica. The five lights will be revealed only to those who enter the temple. We have to go down to the planet. Only you and I, can see this through. What are you after ? What is this secret that you keep pursuing ? You have to tell me the truth. I love you both. We love you too. But this is something you cannot share with us. Something I can't share with you ? I loved you when everyone else wanted you dead. Now, look, you mustn't misunderstand. It's not personal. It's transcendent. It's like what you said. It's transcendent. Pray for us, Caprica. We'll be praying for you. Okay, he wants us to set up forward observation posts hard-wired back to base for communications. The ops are gonna be staggered at strategic locations, giving us as much warning as possible, if there is a cylon advance. Since we only have one Raptor, Captain Thrace will fly point. Oh, joy. Wireless is dead, so if you do make contact, do not engage. Fly to the closest observation post, have them relay the information back to command. Be sure to note force strength, direction of march, and position. I have flown recon once or twice, Lieutenant. Griggs, you and Varrick are gonna set up an observation post here. Hanek and Deetco you go here. - And who gets lucky number 3 ? - That would be Sergeant Fisher, and me. Do you have a problem with that, Captain ? - No. - We go in an hour. Green base, foxfire 1. Green base, foxfire 1. We are open for business. Over. Son of a bitch. Tell me you're sending this. She's relaying a message. It says "century". Starbuck's been hit. I say again : Starbuck's going down. There's really not much more on the eye in these scriptures, but there is... several interesing stories about the temple. Listen to this. "Five pillars of the temple were fashioned after the five priests - devoted to the one whose name..." - Laura. What ? The cylon we know as Boomer arrived with the others. She told our Sharon that her child was alive, and that she was on board one of the cylon baseships. And that she had been seen on New Caprica in your school. The child is alive. Yes. Yes. The child was at the school. Yes, I kept her there. And we suspected that the cylons captured her during the exodus from New Caprica. Yes, it's true. Listen, the thing you might want to know is that when she... Do you have any idea what we've gone through ? You of all people... know what it's like to lose a child. The difference is your child's still alive. And eventually, I hope you become grateful of that. I want to see her. What you mean, she's gone down. Gone down where ? Somewhere in the north valley. Okay, get your men on the line. Full ammo loads. - They're coming from the north. - We're gonna setup a rescue party ? No. We don't have the manpower. We have to defend the position. - Lee, she could be dying out there. - Yeah, I know that, Sam. But we are thin on the ground here, and the cylons are on the march. We can't help her. We have to hold our positions. Are you out of your frakkin' mind ? We just picked up 6 heavy Raiders falling away from the cylon fleet, definitely heading toward the planet. I don't get it. - They'd have to know we see them. - They're testing us. Want to know if we're bluffing about nuking the planet. Unfortunately, we are bluffing. Are we ? - Mr. Hoshi. - Aye, sir. Order nuclear ground-strike missiles in the launch tubes four through ten. Aye, sir. This is a nuclear mission order. The major's right. We don't have any troops to spare if we're gonna hold this position. Screw this position ! We can take those hills. Use guerilla tactics. That's I've been talking about. No, that is not the mission. We have our orders. We are stronger... What are you ? Some goddamn wind-up tin soldier ? - This is my wife we're talking about. - I know who she is ! And I have known her and cared about her a hell of a lot longer than you ! You can do whatever the frak you want ! I am going after my wife ! Missiles are loaded, Admiral. Open launch tube doors. Doors are open, Admiral. What are you doing ? Getting ready to nuke the planet. Radiological detection. - They've opened their missile doors. - He's bluffing. - I can't let you do that, Sam. - I am not asking you for permission. Sergeant Mathias. Load target package three-bravo. Set ground zero for the underground structure. Are we prepared to sacrifice Lee ? They're loading a targeting package. It's a bluff. Don't let him rattle you. The risk to us is unacceptable. Turn back the Raiders. The ships cannot turn back. He won't launch it. And D'Anna was explicit that she and Baltar make it to the planet's surface. So, is that what all this is really about ? "And the heavens opened up, and they saw the eye." But where is that frakking eye ? Are you kidding me ? You gonna shoot me now ? I can't let you go. I need you on the line. I need you commanding those civilians. I'm sorry, Sam, but you cannot go. I'm sorry too Major but you can't stop me. Release of nuclear weapons is now authorized. Sir. - =( Team Lords of Kobol )= - A bom Film Production in association with Jeonwonsa WOMAN ON THE BEACH Kim Seungwoo KO Hyunjoung Song Sunmi Kim Taewoo director of photography Kim Hyungkoo lighting director Jung Youngmin location sound An Sangho sound supervisor Lee Seungchul editor Hahm Sungwon music director Jeong Yongjin associate producer Cho Jinah executive producer Jason Chae producer Oh Jungwan written and directed by Hong Sangsoo Director Kim, I'm really sorry. Director Kim, I'm really sorry. But, today I have an important engagement. But you've come all this way... You didn't tell me about this trip. You know I've never said 'no' to whatever you asked. This is really tough. Does it have to be today? I wouldn't have asked unless I was having a hard time. And I absolutely have to start writing. Are you really having a hard time? Think I want to go on a picnic or something? No, I know you have to write. You just stay one night. I'll stay behind and write the script. Let's eat some sushi, have fun, and you can come back. You should've called me yesterday. Who the hell is this person you're meeting? Okay, can I ask you a favor then? Can I bring my girlfriend along? - Girlfriend? - Yes. You want to take your girlfriend? We were supposed to go on a date today. Sure, fine then. Then I'll be right back. I'll go tidy things up a bit, and I need to call her. Alright, what time then? - How about two? - Two? Okay, two then. Hold on. - Hello? - Director Kim, it's me. - How are you? - Fine, of course. Did you happen to read the paper this morning? It said that a film director named Kim died in a car accident. And so I called just in case. I felt awful because of that. So you're alright? That was in the morning paper? Interesting. - Anyhow, I wonder who it was. - Someone, I guess. - So, is the script almost done? - Uh, well... Actually, I was just taking off to somewhere quiet to work on it. To concentrate for a few days. I see, where to? There's this town called Shinduri. On the west coast. But I heard a sandstorm's on its way. And it's supposed to be nasty. - Sandstorm? Again? - Yes, a nasty one, too. So why don't you wait a couple of days and then go? I have a strange feeling about today. Okay. Well, I'll work hard on it. Producer Jung, everything's fine with you, too? So, do you still have some money left for expenses? Ah, yes. A little. Later perhaps, you can... Thank you. Well, take care. Good luck with your script. - Thank you. - Bye. - Sit here! - No, the backseat's fine. - Please, sit here. - No, I'm okay. Hello. We're off. Wow, it's a new car. Really nice. Did you pay for it? - Of course, who else? - You must be making a lot of money. But your dad could've paid for it. Come on, I fend for myself now. By the way, how did you two meet? Well, I worked on a student film way back. I built a set for them. And she did the music. Oh, so that's how you met. Like me, she's an avid fan of yours. Really? Have you lost your mind? Are you nuts? By the way, I'm Kim Moonsook. Nice to meet you. - So you do music? - Yes, it's nothing really. Her music is great! How do you like this music? I brought this CD for you. What? Is this her music? Yes, isn't it nice? She's mainly a composer. She made this to use as a demo for her singing debut. Very nice. This is a bit mainstream. I also have some weird stuff. Want to hear it? No, it's nice. Let's listen to this first. I really like this one. A lot. She's a fan of yours. A huge fan. - Moonsook. - Yes? - A lot of cars, huh? - Yes. Thanks for the bow. Director Kim, I bought some gum. Some bubble gum, too. Need anything else? - Should I get some potatoes, too? - No, let's go get some sushi. - Some delicious sushi. - Yes, let's. Would you like a piece of gum? The Best Recreation on the West Coast! Shinduri Beach! White Birch Pension Do you have a room? A small one is 80,000 Won per night. A larger one is 100,000 Won. That's too much. - It wasn't so expensive before. - The price is the same. On weekends, it's 120,000 Won. I've been here before. And it wasn't so expensive then. How many nights are you staying? One for starters. - Just one? - Yeah. - What about you? - That's okay. - We'll just stay for one night. - No vacancies on the weekend. I think he's fooling us. It wasn't so expensive before. I agree. It's a rip off. The rooms seem pretty much empty. - See? No one's here. - You're right. He was trying to make you stay longer. We'll stay here the night, and I'll look for some place cheaper. - Let's look for one after we eat. - Sure. There's a lighthouse. The sandstorm is not so bad. How fortunate. Oh yeah, I enjoyed the music. - Wasn't it nice? - Yeah. - Did you really like it? - Yes. The melody is soothing. Nothing exaggerated. You sung how an average person would. I liked that amateur feel to it. I admire your good taste in music. Changwook, I admire you as well. How? It's hard for a married man to openly bring along his girlfriend like you. You must really trust me. - You really do trust me. - You're the best, Director Kim. I told you he's really great. What trust? I don't trust people so easily. - By the way, he's not my boyfriend. - Sorry? - Oh, come on. - Come on what? What? But, he said you were. Do we have to have sex to be boyfriend and girlfriend? Whatever. And yes, you have to have sex. Right, Director Kim? This is fun. We're just friends, you and I. - Do friends kiss? - That's so childish. Yeah, we kissed once. Big deal. Damn it. This isn't funny. No, it's funny. Very funny. It's a sea star. It's dead. Cigarette. When the tide's out, it'll ebb to that lighthouse. - Like the Red Sea, right? - Yes. You have beautiful legs. Thank you. I'm a bit too tall, aren't I? No, you're perfect. You look great. No, I'm too tall. I wish I could cut them short. Come on, don't do that. Director Kim, guess you got to work on your script now. I guess so. What is it about this time? I only have the title. "About Miracles." Does it sound too scholarly? "About Miracles," I see. - "About Miracles." - Miracle? What kind of miracle? A man travels to a foreign beach and stays at a hotel. And in his room he plays Mozart on his CD player. Then he leaves his room and hears the same music on the lift. He walks out of the hotel, then takes a turn at the corner, and on the street is a clown. He's doing his mime to the exact same music. It's an incredible coincidence. But this man doesn't think it's a mere coincidence. He wonders why he heard the same music three times. And he concludes that if he can find the reason why this happened, he can unravel a secret to the world. And he's obsessed with that thought. So he starts tracking hints. For ten years. First, he begins with info about the clown, the women he met, his preferences, everything. Down to the speaker's brand in the hotel elevator. Sounds like a real mystery. Does it? Anyway, in the end he finds this very thin string that links everything. I think that might be hard to get across. People only believe in things that are very sound. But that string, even if he finds it, well, it's something like a soul. There is nothing bodily. It's very, very light. Damn it. Not interesting? It's interesting. I don't quite get it. But you have a way with words. I like people who are eloquent. I don't trust anyone who can't logically explain himself. Really? - What the hell? - So adorable. - What's his name? - Dori. You're Dori, huh? You're so cute. - How old is he? - He's eight months now. You're eight, are you? - Sorry, but we got to go. - No, I'm sorry. Bye, Dori. Scared? Yeah, I've been bitten once, and never been near a dog since. What's there to be afraid of? He's so lovely. Lovely, no way. Hey, no one's here. Hello? Hello? This sushi place is really big. I'm starving. Excuse me, is anyone here? What the hell? Are you open? - Here to eat? - Yes. So you're open? Yes, we are. Have a seat. Oh, man. Let's sit. But where? Sit here? Anywhere. Sit anywhere. Forget it. We're leaving. What's wrong? Fuck, learn how to run a business right. Let's go! What did you just say? You should be fucking nice to your customers. When was I ever not nice? And why are you swearing at me? You don't have the right! You little prick! Fuck off! - What's his problem? - You're my problem! The way you're treating people, asshole! I tried to keep my mouth shut. Who is that man? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But be nicer to your customers. I'm sorry. Very sorry. Please forgive us. What the hell is this? - You're scary. - I just yell, that's all. - Have a cigarette. - Yes. - Let's go someplace else. - Director Kim, that wasn't right. What? You shouldn't have done that. You shouldn't treat people like that. Go and apologize. I'm serious. Go apologize. What's wrong with you? You don't do that to people! Even if he's a waiter! This isn't right. Go and apologize, okay? - You really should. - I won't! Why on earth should I? You won't? You really won't do as I say? Director Kim. Director Kim! Director Kim! Director Kim, get back here, right now! Director Kim, come here now! I'm not going to let this one go. I'm serious. I can't stand it when a person mistreats another. Can't stand it? So what? I still like you, even if you've done wrong. I respect you as a director. Now, go and apologize. I'm serious. Go say you're sorry. That's the right thing to do. You apologize if you like. Why should I? Because you treated him like dirt! You really won't apologize? If you don't, I'm going back to Seoul. You won't? Okay, I'm leaving. Let's go! Seriously? Back to Seoul? What's gotten into you? Alright, I did wrong. Let's stop this! No, you have to go and apologize. Then, we can have... fun afterwards. Let's do that. Enough, okay? I'm really sorry, so let's stop. I'm a bastard. No, I'm an asshole, okay? I didn't ask you to apologize to me. Have I ever done this to you before? You've done wrong today! What's wrong with you? Is that the restaurant you mentioned? Yes, it is. Let's go in. We'll eat and have a drink. You must be hungry. You should eat. Let's have a drink, okay? Let's go. Let's have some sushi. - Welcome. - Hello. - We can sit over there, right? - Yes. - There's three of you? - Yes. I thought about it as I was walking. You're too opportunistic. Why all the fuss? You nearly brought tears to my eyes. What about me that's so opportunistic? Frankly, it wasn't tears but disgust. You were just trying to show me that you're a man. You have no principles. You're just like us. And you're selfish, too. You've gone nuts, haven't you? Just eat your fish. Moonsook, you have a lovely face. Thank you. My face is rather big. Wish I could cut some off. No, you have a lovely face. You're drunk already, aren't you? Yeah, a little bit. Moonsook, what makes you sad? My father, maybe. We don't see each other anymore. Her father is a famous composer. He's written many well-known songs. Now, I hate him the most. But I'm also very sorry about it. He's given me so much love. Every weekend, he'd take only me on his travels. He was like an octopus, wrapping me from behind in that closed grip, squeezing me and not letting go. He worries about me more than I do myself. But does that make sense? It makes my skin crawl. That's why she studied abroad. To run away from him. Hey, you crying? Need this? No thanks. My tears are clean. I have a question. - Are you lonely? - Yes. I have no expectations. Nothing. We should earn the real thing without any help from others. But I think I still want to get it through people. I know I shouldn't expect it of them. - A real pleasure meeting you. - Same here. Me, too. You know my intentions were genuine earlier, right? Yes, of course. You never quit. So strange. I wonder what's so fun about it. They're just enjoying themselves. Why did Nature have to divide us into male and female? I'm so sick of it. You're a male, yourself. You know that. Yeah, yeah. That's why I'm like this. Want to drink some more? Yes, well, as you like. As I like? So you want to drink more or not? Really, do as you like. If you want to drink, then do so. Okay, I'll go buy some more. Moonsook, I need to ask you something. Can you come over here? Sure. What is it that you want to ask? You see, I think Changwook and I both want you. If you happen to like both of us, who would you choose? You see, this situation is making us awkward. I think it would help if things are set clear. So who's your pick? I like you better, Joongrae. I understand. Thanks. You should get back. How long did you stay in Germany? Quite a long time. You must be fluent in German. Just enough to get by. She's good. Very good. - Were there Koreans there? - Not really. It was a small tourist city, so I saw some Korean travelers. - What are people like there? - A bit boring. But they are honest. Very much so. They express their feelings as they are. They seem more laid back than people here. Have you dated foreigners? - Men, I mean. - Ah, men. Do you really want to know? - Well, I think... - No, don't say it. I don't care what you did there. Keep it to yourself till you die. For me. Should I not say it? What's wrong? It's no crime to date them... Changwook will not take this well. - Did you date them? - Yes. How many? I've had maybe two or three serious ones. - That's quite a lot. - I told you not to say anything! I was lonely. Yeah, they love Asian women. They just go crazy about them. Even if the women are ugly. It's not necessarily like that. But there's a premium if they go there. Not many Asian women in Europe. Western men have a fantasy about them. Many Korean men seem to think so. Frankly, it's rather a disgrace. Unpopular women here are considered pretty over there. Don't you think it's a disgrace? Well, that's not how I feel. Look here. It's a person meeting another. It's not like what you said. Oh, you might think that I have an inferiority complex about my dick size compared to Western men, but that's not it. You have to live where you were born, whether you're ugly or not. Why do unpopular girls here go over there to live comfortably? That's really not cool! But I'm not referring to you, Moonsook. You're different from your films. Sorry, but you're actually just another Korean man. What are you sorry about? No, I take that back. My point is you are a Korean man. Hey, I'm going back to our room. I'll be back shortly. Not coming with me? That was a hit-by-pitched ball. Stricter rules will apply to this. If you let the ball hit you when you could've dodged it, it's either a ball or a strike. Like a regular strike or ball. Even if you get hit, it may not be a hit-by-pitched ball. - Doesn't apply to intentional hits. - Yes, that's right. He's in the bathroom. Want to get some fresh air? Yeah, sure. Wait. This way. I don't think we can go any farther. Shoes are all wet. - You know what? - Yes? As I get older, I like the west coast. It's where the sun sets. And also where the stars rise. That's right. Why are you laughing? Come on. Ah, I got a question. If we're the only beings that are conscious of this universe, us looking up and appreciating it is a very good thing, right? Are we the only ones? If so, yes. I'm almost certain we're the only ones. So if we're not conscious of it, it's meaningless, isn't it? Yes. If we occasionally look into space and think about it, then the universe will not be lonely. You're so beautiful. Thank you. But I've been repeating this ever since I was very young. It's just some words of nostalgia. - Am I being too honest? - It's alright. This may sound simplistic, but the really real thing that I have absolute faith in is the stars. Stars? I don't quite understand, but you must explain it to me later. Thanks for listening. - Aren't you cold? - Cold? Hold on. - Yes? - Where the hell are you? Are you with Director Kim? Yeah, we're taking a walk on the beach. This late? It's so dark, you can't see a thing. Where are you? And why did you leave me behind? We're just taking a walk. You took so long in the bathroom. That's why we left without you. - Come join us. - Where? I can't see you. Come down to the beach and walk to the left. Left? Towards the inlet? Yeah, turn left and straight on. Hurry up. Okay, be right there. You told him to walk down that way? Yes, in the meantime we should go back to our rooms. It feels so weird. - Yeah. - Where are you? I see nobody here. Keep on walking to the end of the beach. All the way to the end? Yeah. It's so wonderful. I'm hearing so much about films from Director Kim. Keep on walking and you'll see us. Alright, wait for me. Okay. What is it? A splinter? I think so. I'll poke it out where there's light. Yeah, thank you. Let's tell him that I vomited. That I got a bad stomachache. And we had to run to the pharmacist so that's why we missed each other. Are you worried? Okay, we'll do as you say. - Excuse me! - Yeah? Aren't we going back? We still have some time, right? For what? I want to be with you a bit longer. When he comes... He'll take a while to get back. Let's just go somewhere. Where? Anywhere. Let's just look for a place. Ah, here. They don't even have a front desk. Isn't it the one outside? Is it? Let's try the second floor. They're all empty. No one's here. This is crazy. - No, please don't. - I think I'm going crazy. Be patient. Let's meet in Seoul. He'll go nuts if he finds out. But I want to have you. So bad. - Really? - Yes, really. For real. Then, strip. Everything? No, that's fine. Joongrae, I like you. You live foolishly. You know me? Just, a little. You're reckless, but not loathsome. You know nothing about me. I knew I'd meet you some day. Seriously? Do you love me? I like you very much. - Do you want me that much? - Yes, more than any other woman. Then, have me. I don't mind. But I still love you. Joongrae, you are mine today. Thank you, Moonsook. I love you. I love you, too. Have a seat. You must've gotten up early. Aren't you tired? No, are you? No, but I think I'm coming down with something. It's because we worked ourselves too hard last night. Oh, come on. You were married once, right? Yeah, I got divorced. A long time ago. Should I leave you alone? Seems like you were deep in thought. That's okay. No, go back to your thoughts. Changwook is still in the shower. - Did you go to our room? - Yes. Keep working. I'm going down to the beach. Go ahead. Please, go ahead. Oh, it's Dori! Hello. - Good morning. - Good morning. Hello, Dori. He looks like a really nice dog. Well, people say so. - Do you get his fur trimmed? - No need to. He's the Jindo breed. I see. Oh, you cutie. Sorry for keeping you. - Let's go. - Let's go, Dori. Good-bye, Dori. - Good-bye. - Bye. How's this place? It looks pretty cheap. What's the rate? On weekdays 60,000 Won, 80,000 Won on weekends. Oh, it's cheaper here. - Do you have many rooms? - Yeah, we do. Do you need one? - Yes, maybe. - We have many. I'll think about it, and come back later. Let's go. I'm going back to Seoul. You are? Why? It's too quiet here. Don't think I'll be able to write in this lonely place. Makes sense. Okay, let's go together. Yeah, let's. Hwasung Rest Area - Do you want some coffee? - Sure. Over there. - Hello. - Potatoes, large size, please. It's 2,400 Won, sir. Director Kim. You know I once lost my father in a rest area like this. You did? There was this little stream behind a building like this one. I was there, but no one knew. They went crazy searching for me. My dad really scolded me for that one. Let's see each other in Seoul. Don't strain yourself for me. No, don't say that. Just say what you want. You have to speak up. How else can I understand you? Why are you so distant suddenly? I just want to freshen up my head a bit. Oh, that's it. Well, sir, you should do what you prefer. When things become clear to me, I'll call you. It will become clear for sure. I'll talk to you then. I'll express myself not with words, but with action and time. What's the date today? Ah! You're here! Have some coffee. It's better than I'd expected. Have some potatoes. Coffee, no thanks. Ah, yes. I'll have some coke. - Okay, do you have change? - Yeah, I've got some. - Changwook! - Be careful. - Shall we go, Director Kim? - Uh, yeah. - It's a beautiful day, isn't it? - Lovely. What's gotten into you? Two days later Help me, please. The phone has been turned off. You will be connected to the voice mail after the beep. To record a message, press one. Please speak after the beep, then press the star or pound key. I see you're not picking up. That day, I think I had too much on my mind and I was a bit afraid. Actually, I'm sure of myself, but I didn't do you right. I called you because the sea is so beautiful. There are so many idiots who take life for granted. In this beautiful place I've seen people fight over some money, and a couple argue. It's disgusting. You're beautiful. Very beautiful. Yes. Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm a film director. Oh yes, my name is Kim Joongrae. If you're not busy, could I interview you? An interview? Yes, I'm working on a script. And you look so much like one of the characters I'm creating. I'll offer you some compensation, though very small. Oh, no need for it. I know who you are. - Nice to meet you. - Oh, you do? Thank you. - What kind of interview is it? - It's real simple. If it's okay with you, I'd like to ask about your life, just everyday stuff. Actually, I'm not used to this kind of thing. I know who you are, so it's okay. Who do you want to interview? I'd like to interview you, actually. - Is it okay with you? - Yeah, sure. Well, okay, then. But I'm answering only the ones I can. Nothing too personal. - I appreciate this. - No, it's my pleasure. - Sounds fun. - Thank you. Do you trust people easily? I'm a little over thirty now. I changed when I passed thirty. I used to trust people easily. Back then, I had to define everything that I do. But after thirty, I loosened up. If I can't define things right away, I just think some day I will, and take it easy. Wow, we're really different. I've been uptight since second grade, and haven't rested ever since. Do you like dogs? - Who doesn't? - I'm afraid of them. What do you believe in? Have anything you have absolute faith in? - Yes, myself. - You believe in yourself? I think only about myself. I'm not perfect, but it's still me. It's up to me to improve myself. Honestly, I think only about me and my work. Do you like stars, up in the sky? Stars? I've never really thought about them. What makes your life difficult? My mom. She makes things the hardest. There's no end to it. She's ruined everything for me. And I hate her the most. I really hate her, but she's still my mother. - Director Kim. - Did you get some rest? Yes, a little. I'm sitting on the stairs looking out at the sea. There's a lovely tree in the garden. I'm having sushi in the restaurant next to that grocery store. I've ordered too much for myself. Would you two ladies like to join me? I love sushi. Won't you feel uncomfortable with us there? No, come. Come and enjoy the food. Okay, I'll be right down. It'll take about ten minutes. Alright, I'll be waiting. You haven't changed. You're not going for a walk? You're all ready. But I don't want to go today. Really? Then, take a rest. Director Kim. The character who resembles me. What is she like? - Well, she's rather simple. - Just curious... And honest. But she only sees as much as she can, so she's not that honest. Just simple and a bit abstract, which really doesn't suit her. She easily falls for what others say. As well as for authority or success, that kind of thing. I'm like that? No, she's just a character that I'm thinking of. So that's what she's like. I'd like to meet you occasionally and have nice conversations. Sure, let's do that. We drank too much, huh? I'm sorry. I saw you a few days ago. Sorry? You were running around with a man and a woman chasing you. - How did you see that? - We were walking by. I see. - Yeah. - Where are you? Director Kim asked me to join him for some sushi. The food is delicious. Really? Why'd you go alone without telling me? He called right after you left. Oh, I was just leaving. Don't worry. - Alright, but hurry. - Okay. Tasty. You know, I'm honest only as much as I want to be. How come? Well, just that I'm not so different from your character. Really? - Are you all by yourself? - Yes, she left. Anyway, both ladies are pretty tall, including the one before. Aren't they? How about the face? Don't they look alike? Well, I can't say. I couldn't see their faces closely. - Is that so? Alright. - Good-bye. But don't they look alike? Uh, sure. That's possible. - Good night. - Yes, good night. - What are you doing here? - Looking for you. Would you like to have some? What's this? Were you drinking all by yourself? I'm the type you like, aren't I? Yes, you're right. I'm not having sex with you. I am not having sex with you. I made a promise to my friend. - We are not having sex. - Right, we're not having sex. Why don't we go inside? Want me to cook you some hot soup? I have the ingredients in my room. Hot soup? Yeah, maybe with bean sprouts. I'm a great cook. But your friend may be sleeping now. Who cares? I can really cook well! Sure. Want to try something? I saw somebody doing it before. - Do what? - I wanted to do it really bad. What is it? I love you! I love you! You're really drunk. Oh, no. - Try it. Come on. - No, I can't. I can't. I love you! Wait. I love you! I love you! Satisfied? - I love you! - I love you! - Let's go now. - Yeah, let's. I'll cook you something really nice. Okay. - Oh my! - What's wrong with him? It's okay. It's okay. What's the matter with him? Hey, who is he? Who is he? Do you know him? Who is he? Who? Hey, you want to die? Hey, asshole! You bastard! Take off your helmet! You want to kill me? Kill me! Come kill me, you asshole! Fuck you, you son of a bitch. Consider yourself lucky, asshole. What are you looking at? - Are you alright? - I'm fine. - How about you? - I'm fine. - Let's get out of here. - Yeah, let's. - Were you surprised? - I'm okay. What a weirdo. You were scared, weren't you? The room's a bit cold. Is it alright? What about your friend? Doesn't matter. She likes me a lot. And I don't like it too warm anyhow. Tomorrow, bean sprout soup. Okay. I'll make some delicious soup for you. Ah, what a day. Tired, huh? Whenever you have time, you can stop by anytime. Just come and rest in our room. I'll play really nice songs for you. Oh, my! You've drunk so much all by yourself. I've come by myself, you see. Why? What about your companions? I came alone. That movie director came by today. That man you came with last time. Should I give him a ring? He's probably too drunk. He came with another woman, you know. I began talking to him, and he said that woman resembled you very much. - He said she looked like me? - Yes, that's what he said. I mean both of you are pretty tall, but you're far more beautiful. Cut the crap. Hey, watch what you say. I wish we can sleep like this till dawn. Is it okay? What about your friend? She and I do some things for each other. I listen to all her stories, so this is fine. I'm probably the only friend who listens to her secrets. So what's it like working as a manager of a cafe? Do you make a lot of money? Not really. But I don't waste money, so I can manage. I hope the divorce goes well with your husband in Seoul. It will. Will you come by around lunch? My friend likes you too, though she doesn't show it. I'll cook you hot chicken stew like you wished for. - It would be perfect with Soju, huh? - Yes. Feels so good. Can I feel this good? Open the door! Open the door! Right now! Hurry and open it! - She's a friend of mine. - She's too emotional. Just stay quiet for a bit. Open the door! Open it! Hey! I'm telling you to open up! I saw you both! Open up right now! You can't do this to me! Open up! Right now! What are you doing? It's the middle of the night. Who are you? - No, I'm fine. Go away. - Go where? She has a lot built up inside her. Let's stay quiet for a bit. I'm just here to look for a friend. Alright, I'll be quiet. Your friend is in this room? Then, why are you screaming? Everyone's in bed at this hour. You have to be quiet. Okay, sir, I'm sorry. It's empty. Come on over. Here, take this. - Careful, careful. - Okay. Slowly. Oh no. Good, good. Go ahead. Quiet, quiet. Where am I? Where is this? My room. Lie down and rest. What room is this? It hurts here. I can't believe this. This is my room. Just lie down and relax. You were in my dream. No, when I was taking a bath. Really? Do I look dirty to you? Think I slept with Changwook? No, no. Then, what's wrong, huh? Because I used to date foreigners? No. Actually, it makes it better. When you're dating, it's a turn-on. It is? But to cherish someone in your heart, it can be a problem. It hurts so much. There's no woman here, is there? No, stupid. Really? Of course not. It hurts? It's nice being with you in the morning. I don't know what to do. In my brain there is this illness. My ex-wife had slept with my friend before we married. I didn't know that before. But then, I found out, and I couldn't forgive her. The image of them having sex was so strong it kept recurring. I wanted to fight it off. I read books, filled up volumes of my journal, but I couldn't overcome it. I nearly wanted to go to a mental hospital everyday. Rationally, I knew I was a hopeless fool. But I kept having a dirty feeling. She had a really hard time, too. For several years. I'm afraid you'll go through the same thing. I like you very, very much, but why'd you sleep with a foreigner, stupid? It's too strong of an image to overcome. I'm afraid I'll go through that once again. I don't think I could take it again. Hello, did you have breakfast? Not yet. Did you? Yes, we did. Would you like to have some bean sprout soup? It's so easy to make. We have all the ingredients. Sounds good. But, my friend's here with me. We're going to take a look around for a bit. Okay, then, see you later. - Good-bye. - Good-bye. Why are you two so close? Oh, I interviewed her yesterday. I did it for my script. We had a drink afterwards. Enough. Don't say more. Aren't you hungry? I want to eat something yummy. Will you treat me? Sure, what do you want? Something really tasty. Like spicy rice cakes. Spicy rice cakes? Spicy rice cakes? Don't know if they have it here. Don't think so. Do they sell rice cakes here? If they do, I can cook it myself. I'm really good at it. Really? Let's check out the grocery store. Don't go out of your way. Don't worry, stupid. Let's go down to that sand dune. There's something real neat. What is it? I'll show you. What is it? You see, I got the splinter out. I didn't get it out myself, and didn't know when it happened. But I think it was when I bowed on my knees. You went down on your knees? Yeah, I think that's when the splinter got out. Why did you bow? Come on and see. You'll feel like doing it, too. Why are you laughing? Alright, let's go. Dori! Dori! Dori, you're here. Why is he here? Do you know this dog? Yes, he's Dori. Somebody abandoned him. Do you know the owners? Yes, I've seen them here before. They abandoned him? Yes, I think so. I couldn't find the owners. So my uncle decided to raise him. Really? That's terrible. How could they abandon Dori? That's his name? Yes. We didn't know, so we named him Ocean. Oh, you did? Dori, what's happened to you? Will you keep him? Yes, my uncle is fond of dogs. And he's just a little puppy. That's better for him. Huh? It's better than being raised in Seoul. Dori, are you alright? Do you like it here? Don't you miss your owner? Some owners they are for ditching him. The crazy bastards. You're right. Poor Dori. Dori! He's running faster. Great! Dori. Did you kick me? No, I was just running. What's wrong? I don't know what's happened. It's weird. What's the matter? Are you in pain? I think it's a muscle cramp. Can't move at all. Really? You can't move? No. Dori, come here. Oh no, what shall I do? It's very swollen. The doctor really said you don't need to be looked at? Yeah, he's my relative so he wouldn't lie. He said an unused muscle snapped. We have unused muscles in our body? I don't know. Maybe it's like an appendix. He says it'll be very painful only for a week. Lucky I don't have to go to the hospital. But shouldn't you see a doctor at least once? Is talking on the phone enough? Don't worry. It's for the better. I'm tied down for a week, so I'll just stay put here and write. Mr. Director, you are wonderful. Does it hurt? A little. Damn it, this sucks. Hello. - Did you like the food yesterday? - Yes, it was delicious. I'd like to order the soup again. Sure, but how's the movie director? He's still in pain. - Hope he recovers soon. - So do I. - It'll be ready in a moment. - Okay. What's this? Oh, that? It's a cane. Why? Do you need it? Is anyone using it? We don't use it anymore. My husband used it way back. If you need it, take it. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. - Hello. - Hello. - Want some fried eggs, too? - Yes. How many? - Three. - Okay. Sorry to ask this right after we ate, but did you sleep with that girl, Sunhee? No. Then why'd she stare me down? Did you two talk? That's none of your business. Did you have sex? Just tell me the truth. Tell me. I'm just curious. I didn't. I told you I saw everything. She really just came in and left. Plus, she's married. And I really do not see her as a woman at all. I'm serious. So stop talking this nonsense. - Ouch, it hurts. - Why are you lying to me? Why are you being like this? I interviewed her because she resembled you. I was missing you so much, but you weren't here. So I just interviewed anyone. We don't look alike. And you know how she looks at me? She got this contempt in her eyes. Why would she? She means nothing to me. She's just nice. Actually, I feel sorry for her. Go on, and what else? She's trying to get a divorce, but it's not working out so well. I'm just curious. Tell me the truth. You saw everything. There was no one. Was there? No. Moonsook. And did you hear my confession to you? Yes, I did. I know I'm hopeless, but I'm struggling with those bad images. And, I've got to write a script. I'm using all my mental capacity. This is something I realized a while back. And since I'm fighting with images again, I have more confidence in it now. Look here. Your actions now and my obsession with purity are all images. We're repeating images imprinted on us by others. Look at this. Let's assume that this is the real thing. This constantly changes and has infinite curves. Let's say, for example, here, here, here. People keep focusing on these points. Then, there is an image that recurs. Like so. You having sex with foreigners. Let this be the face of the woman having sex. And this, the image of his phallus. And this, the weird position you'd see in porn movies. When these three images form a set, it coincides with the existing bad image. Then, the real thing disappears and only the image remains. But let's say, that this point here is your happy face after those spicy rice cakes. And here is your nice face worrying about a sick friend. And here is your face sitting on the toilet. If we connect these points, then, we get a shape like this, right? Yes. But this is something we are not used to, so it's hard to grasp. Anyhow, it would still be closer to the real thing than this triangle. So if we continue our efforts, we can overcome this stereotypical and evil image. We can break them, you know. So we have to try to see these other points together as well. You know what I'm saying? You are amazing. How did you come up with this? This is how I'm fighting right now. That's a really good way to look at it. Think so? You really are smart. Hello? I'm sorry, but I'm the person you saw this morning. I wasn't sure if it was okay to go up. Oh, yes. But I think my wallet is in there. I can't find it anywhere. Could you please look for it? I'm down here now at the front desk. Wallet? Where did you put it? Well, maybe on the table or the floor. Or near the bed. I have important things in there. Well, I already cleaned the room and didn't find anything. Hold on. - Who is it? - Huh? Nothing. Sorry, not here. It's really not there? No, I looked everywhere. Well, could you see me down here for a second? Me? Why? Only for a little while. I just want to buy you a nice meal. Alright, I'll be right down. - Okay. - Okay. Where are you going? Who was it? It's Sunhee. She wants to see me. Why? I don't know. I'll be back soon. Take your cellphone. What's she got to say? Yeah, I have my phone. When did you arrive here? You saw me yesterday morning. Sure my wallet's not there? Why do you make me repeat the same answer? I'm sorry. Something very important to me is in there. You wanted to see me because of that? Not at all. Can we spend some time together? You're so beautiful. - You're not serious. - No, you're really beautiful. I envy you. - Please, stop. You're much prettier. - Not at all. - How old are you? - How about you? Thirty-one. I'm older. You are? Then I should call you Big Sis? How did you meet Joongrae? It was just a coincidence. He wanted to have a drink so we did. What do you want to have? Oh, it's my treat. What would you like? Should we go over there to the inlet? I think it's not far. Oh, the inlet? Sure, I haven't been there yet. Well, hop in. This is my car. It's cute. No, it's a piece of crap. Director Kim thinks that you and I look alike. Who told you that? The restaurant owner told me. That man always talks crap. I was flattered to hear we looked alike. But do we? So I thought about it. And I think I know why he said that. Can't really explain in words, but somehow we are a bit alike. The way we talk, for example. Really? You're nicer than I thought. Thanks. So why did you ask to meet? Don't you have a real reason? No. You're just so pretty, and very close with Director Kim. So I just wanted to know more about you. What do you fear most in your life? Obsession. Obsession? I'm afraid of betrayal. Did your husband betray you? Is that why you're getting a divorce? Director Kim told you that, too? Yeah. Yes, my husband betrayed me. That's nothing to cry about. Just divorce him. And live right when you can forget him. And what about you? Why do you cling on to him? I did? Two nights ago. Don't lie to me. Oh, I get it. So you two were in the room then? Were you sleeping together? - Did he tell you he slept with me? - No, I'm just asking. What did you do then? I don't talk about that kind of stuff. I see. But how did you get out when I was outside the door? Ask him yourself. Did you two by any chance walk over me? We came out anyway. So you walked over me? Why is that so important? We got out and that's it. You're mean, Sunhee. Two women shouldn't be fighting dirty over a man. The choice should be the woman's. This is so boring. This is why hell is so boring! Don't get mad. I'm fine. So you really are just a woman. The phone has been turned off. You'll be connected to... Moonsook. Where the hell are you? Moonsook. Lizard, lizard Can do anything Lizard, lizard Can do anything Finished. Thank you. This is good stuff. Real good stuff. Why are you driving me nuts? Know how much I cried waiting for you? You did? I'm sorry. Know how hard it was for me? I was crying on the porch because of you. Let me ask you something. Please be honest. Please. That night, when I was outside, what were you doing in the room? I'm getting sick of this. It's that again? I don't know. Don't know anything anymore. Joongrae, don't lie to me. Please, don't lie. Do whatever you want. What did I do so wrong to deserve this? What did I do? I'm sick of it all. What's wrong with you, Moonsook? That's not important. Somebody walked over me. You two walked over me, huh? When I was outside, you two walked over me. I thought I was dreaming, but it was real. I don't believe this. Walk over me, did you? How dare you? How dare you do that to me? Is this how you're going to be? I was willing to endure all the pain till the very end, but you torture me over this crap? Don't you remember? I told you how hard it is to fight with images! So just give me the facts. Not your bullshit philosophy. You slept with her, huh? Oh, that I know already. Did you walk over me? You and that bitch walked over me, huh? I won't cry. Just tell me. - Then I'll be quiet. - You're completely insane. Tell me, please. Just tell me, Joongrae. No, I can't. I can't be treated like this. I don't deserve this. I just can't. Sorry, I'm leaving. R. The Best Beach on the West Coast, Shinduri - Thanks for coming. - What happened? - Do you have a cigarette? - Yes. There's such a muscle? So there are muscles we can't use. Guess it's like the appendix. That's too bad. You mustn't have worked on your script. - I wrote it. - What? In these couple of days? Yeah, I think it's pretty good. These two pages. How'd you finish so quickly? Amazing. Do you like it? Don't know, maybe tomorrow it'll look like shit to me. But it all came within a few hours. Funny, huh? It came out so easy, as if I were possessed. Yes, Director Kim. How are you? I'm home. Are you still there? How's your leg? It still hurts. I think I was afraid again. I miss you. I'm sorry, too. Honestly. When are you coming back? I think I liked you a lot as a movie director. And I think you'll have a hard time because of me. Please stop. You think so? Should I try to find someone here who resembles you? Like you did? Yeah, why don't you. Don't worry. I won't. I don't repeat things. And I hope I don't offend you, but I don't respect Korean men too much. There are some good men though. Yeah, I guess. Take care of your leg. Hope your script comes out great. I'm sure you'll do well. I really like you. Yes, good-bye. Moonsook. Thank you. It was under the bed. Oh, really? When are you going home? The day after tomorrow. How about you? I'm going now. Hope you think things over well. Yes, I will. I'll be going. Good-bye. My car... We'll push it for you. - We'll push, you drive. - So I have to get in, right? Here we go. Steer to the left a bit. - Like this? - Left. Left, like this? I think it's getting out! - Thank you so much. - You're welcome. Is that your car stuck there? We're waiting for a tractor to pull it out. I see, thank you very much. I'd really like to repay you somehow. - Don't worry about it. - But still. It was really nothing. Let's go. - Thank you for your help! - You're welcome. Get her keys. We're just gonna grab some stuff and then we're gone, all right? hey, hey, hey. Come on. Army food. Yum. - Which one's the key to the boat? - The red one. Let's get out of here before I start puking again. Look, look, I won't tell anybody you were here. Just take the boat and go. Please. Actually, we don't really need this. I'm gonna find them. The people who did this are not gonna get away. Just tell me she's gonna be all right. She lost a lot of blood, but her pulse is strong. We just have to keep watching her. Bad heart valve. She's had it since she was born. - Fire Pete? He can't fire Pete. - I quit. He can suck it. Yeah, suck it, Pete. No, you're not listening. You're not a good listener. 20 minutes to air. Liz said we were cutting the cat-lady sketch. She said it stinks. This is why Liz is wrong. Animal humour is universal. I just don't think I'm good in it. Do you think I'm good in it? I think this is your opportunity and prove everybody wrong. - What do you mean? Who's everybody? - The network that wanted to fire you, the focus groups that said your eye is weird. This eye? It doesn't open all the way because when I was little, my sister peed in it. Tonight is your opportunity to go out there and change all of our minds. What? Where is Liz? Liz! Get down! Four minutes to air. That's four minutes to air. - Is Liz back yet? - No. Which cat do you want Jenna to carry? - I'm sorry? - Which cat? I want... that one. Jack Donaghy to the control room, please. Jack Donaghy. Peanut's not an actor. I just rescued her from a lab. Hey, Lemon, I'll drop you off. Where do you live? The studio. I want you to drop me at the studio. I want to tell Donaghy to his face that I quit in front of the whole crew so that they know he didn't fire me. I want to see that. Oh, oh, pull over! Pull over here! Tracy, I don't have time for this. Right here. This is where I grew up. This is the Jordan family estate? Wasn't no Jordan family nothing. This is where I was in foster care. Oh, sorry. Me and two other dudes and a girl with messed-up fingers. I'm so lucky I got out of here. It's not luck. I mean, you got out of here because you're very talented and people love you and... Are you peeing? Where's Donaghy? I want to talk to him right now. Last time I saw him, he was riding the crane camera. Oh, I have Pete for you. Pete, oh, my God, I didn't know. No, listen, it will give me a chance to spend more time with my kids. I'm quitting. I'm quitting right now. No, no. You have the best job in New York. Don't quit over this. - Don't buy all the hot dogs, OK? - I don't want to do this without you. Hey, I thought we cut the cat-lady sketch, We're two minutes short! So, let me introduce myself. My name is Lurlene Katz. And these are my cats. She's using a real cat? I cast that cat myself. Why, they are my... No, no, no, he's OK! - I need you to talk for two minutes. - About what? - Anything. - All right. These cats are more than just pets, sir. Excuse me. Where's the manager? I'm from the government, and I'm hereto inspect your chicken nuggets. Look at Shorty. This honky grandma be trippin'! What's up, America? I'm coming into your house live! Let me hear you say, "We love you, Tracy!" We love you, Tracy! I am the third heat! He's brilliant. - Are you drunk? - Yes. - Why did you fire Pete? - Why did you disappear all night? Is this some kind of a power play? It's not so fun being hands-on with these bloodsuckers, is it? - Can we talk about this on Monday'? - No, I want Pete back. I want it in writing that Jenna's job is safe. And I want a cappuccino machine for the writers' room. Fine. I thought you were gonna quit. Yeah, you don't know everything about me. You weigh 127 pounds. Holla at your boy! Hey, you will be hearing from Peanut's lawyer. Good night, sleep tight. I can't wait to do this with you every week. Excuse me. There's a line, buddy. There's two lines. No, no, there's one line. We're in it. I'm just getting a hot dog. We're all getting hot dogs. What, you think there's two lines and we're all in this line-- you're the only genius that got in the other line? Can you believe this guy? Don't line up behind him. He cheated you. Hey, shut up. What do you want on yours, baby? I want all the hot dogs, please. Yeah, I'm--I'm buying all the hot dogs. Oh, come on, lady. And I'm giving them to the good people. Who's that? Kicking it down the street Causin' a stir. Who's that? I know that you're wondrin' That's her That's her, that's her, that's her, that's her. Who's got the kind of charisma that The boys prefer. Who's hot and you know that she knows it. That's her. She's like a summer sky. It's like some cherry pie. And there is butterfly. Me oh my. Who flaunts her feminine magic. That's her That's me! That's Pam! The overly-confident morbidly obese woman. This fat suit smells like corn chips. Going again, please. Thank you. And this is the set of The Girlie Show. It's a real fun ladies' comedy show for ladies. Hey, everybody. Look, here's someone you never get a chance to meet. It's the head writer of The Girlie Show, Liz Lemon! The Girlie Show. Hold on, I'll connect you. - Hey. - What's up? Hey, have you looked at that Cat Lady sketch? It's still seven minutes long. Yikes, okay. Oh, and Standards has a problem with that Michael Jackson bit. But why? Apparently you can't say he's got a vagina. Oh, it's--fine, I'll just take the whole thing out. Hey, you gotta tell that NBC page to take it down a notch. Oh, you mean Ken? Yeah, he just embarrassed me in front of a whole tour group. I'll talk to him. What is this? Ah, well, you know how I hate it when people cheat or break rules? Yes, I do. Well, I just spent 150 bucks on wieners. Atta boy. Chumley. The beverage situation around here is reprehensible. Oh, good morning, sunshine. Surely our massive conglomerate parent company could spring for a samovar of coffee. Yeah, or like a big coffee dispenser. That's what a samovar is. Are there other black nerds, or is it just you and Urkel? Uh, Cerie, do you wanna get some coffee? No, thank you. No? Hey, Josh. I need to change your Michael Jackson thing. Didn't you tell me you had a Jay Leno impression? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Check it out. So, uh, President Bush is in the news again. Have you heard about this? No, Jay Leno. The host of the Tonight Show. I thought that's what I was doing. So, uh, my wife Mavis and I like to go shopping for old cars. You know? No, no. Like Jay Leno. Like, "Hey, here are the headlines." You ever--you ever notice when you eat a lot of cheese, and you-- How is that different from what I was doing, though? And I don't think you need to introduce the writers to the tour group. I agree. I thought they would find it interesting, but they really did not. Well, Kenneth, just respect their privacy. I promise I'll do better, Mr. Hornberger. Sure you will. I just-- I just love television so much. We all do. Liz, they want you and Pete on the 50th floor. Who, Gary? Tell him I'll be up in half an hour. No, they said now. If they got cookies up there, grab some. Ooh, and get them to pay for my Samovar. Of course, I mean, I assume that's what we're meeting about. What about, uh, Ray Romano? Can you do Ray? Hey. God, oh. Debra. There you go. My brother's tall. Right? Are we in trouble or something? No way. Gary loves the show. Pleased with the ratings. Right. Of course. They love us. Where's Gary? Gary's dead. I'm Jack Donaghy. New VP of development for NBC/GE/Universal/Kmart. Oh, we own Kmart now. No. So why are you dressed like we do? I'm surprised you're renovating. This is such a nice office. It's a great office, but sometimes, you have to change things that are perfectly good just to, uh, make them your own. Please. Ah, I'll call her back. Is she at the White House line? Great. Tell them I need a 4:00 a.m. tee off time. Uh, five inches, but it's thick. Are you familiar with the GE Tri-vection Oven? I don't cook very much. Sure, I got you. New York, third wave feminist, college educated. Single and pretending to be happy about it. Overscheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine that says "Healthy body image" on the cover. And every two years, you take up knitting for... A week. That is dead on! What, are you gonna guess my weight now? You don't want me to do that. That knitting thing is uncanny. How do you do that? Market research, my friend. Years and years of market research, which lead to my greatest triumph. The Tri-vection oven. Oh, my wife wants one of those. Could we get Pete an oven, please? Hey. The GE Tri-vection oven cooks perfect food five times faster than a conventional oven, because it uses three kinds of heat. Thermal technology for consistent temperature. GE Precise Air convection technology for optimal air circulation, and microwave technology for incredible speed. With three kinds of heat, you can cook a turkey in 22 minutes. Wow. That is impressive. The people upstairs think so. That's why they promoted me. That's why they sent me here to retool your show. Retool what now? I'm the new vice president of east coast television and microwave oven programming. That sounds like you program microwave ovens. I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman. Lee, does my face look bloated to you? When I played that lady rapist on Law Order, guess what the makeup guy put on under my eyes to take the puffiness out? Hemorrhoid cream. Ms. Maroney? I have the cat wrangler here for you. Oh, is it that horrible little--Hi. Hey. Greta Johannsen. It's short for "LaGreta." Hi, great to see you again. You too. I'm here to introduce you to feline actors you're gonna be working with tonight. Okay. This is Po-Po. And this here is Captain Boots. Hello. Uh, would you describe yourself as "cat competent?" Oh, yes. I love cats. I used to have two cats. But then I moved to this place with hardwood floors, so we had to put them down. I'm joking. I've done several focus groups, on this show, and what I've gleaned-- The blonde, big-eyed girl is popular with women and older gays. Jenna, that's my friend Jenna. And the kid with the funny hair is liked by women, but you're missing men between 18 and 49. I'm not missing them, they're just not there. I think I can fix that. So your job is, you take things that are already working, and you fix them. That's a great job. Okay, let's-- Why don't we, um-- You're missing that third kind of heat. I want you to think about Tracy Jordan. Okay--the black guy? The black movie star. I flew with him on a private jet to the Super Bowl recently, and I found him very entertaining. Isn't he, um... crazy? Tracy's had his problems in the last few years. I am a Jedi! I am a Jedi! I am a Jedi! The important thing to remember is, he was never charged with a crime. It's not illegal to fall asleep on your neighbor's roof. Nor should it be. Tracy Jordan is the third heat. I don't know where we're gonna find room in the budget for a guy like Tracy Jordan. I think I do. What are you doing? Sometimes when I have these stress dreams, if I go to sleep in the dream, I come out of it. "This is not a dream." Tracy Jordan is in New York today, Liz. I'd like you to have lunch with him. We have a show tonight, Mr. Donaghy. I don't know if your research covered this, but we do a dress rehearsal, and then a live show. That's tonight. This is lunch. If it's not a good fit, I'll drop the whole thing. If I meet with Tracy Jordan, and we mutually agree that this is the worst idea ever, you'll back off? I'm known for being reasonable. Okay. Alfredo, 2:00 p.m. I'm not dressed for that. You're dressed for Burger King. Should we make it Burger King? Pete, hang back for me. Yeah, you bet. Hey. What happened to your head? Uh, the sky is falling. Do you have a pair of dress pants or a skirt or something I could borrow? Thank you, Lee. Whatever. Hey, you know in that Cat Lady sketch? Do I have to hold a real cat? Cat Lady sketch? That thing's gonna get cut. Oh, good. Who's that? That is the new network dude. Mmm, yummers. He reminds me of Scotty on General Hospital. What? No, ew, Jenna. Do not like that man. That is a bad man. God, you have a gift. Laura Bush is your size. Hi, uh, what are you doing down here? I'm known for being hands-on. Clearly. That's how you should dress for work, by the way. Yeah, if I was president of the Philippines. Afghanistan is a different situation... I'll have an apple juice. Oh, we don't have apple juice, sir. Then I'll take a vodka and tonic. Hi, I'm Liz Lemon. I know who you are. I thought there was a... strict dress code at this place. I do recommend the pumpkin ravioli. They're very subtle. So, Tracy, this Jack Donaghy guy wanted me to talk to you about joining the cast of our show. And I don't know how you feel about that-- Lemme ask you a question. Everybody at this table. Did he just say the word "pumpkin" to me? Yes, um, pumpkin ravioli. Yo! I'm buggin'. I can't do this. I cannot eat here. I can't eat here. I got to go someplace where they make food that I like. Lemon, let's go. I will not work with Tracy Jordan. It's just a rumor. Have you seen any of his movies? The guy's sensibility is just cretinous. I saw the one where he plays, like, five different characters. Yeah, Black Cop/White Cop. No. Who Dat Ninja? No, he- - He had to pretend to be this old lady... Ooh, ooh, ooh! Goodness gracious! You hooligans better watch out. 'Cause this honky grandma be trippin'! Oh, yeah. That movie was hilarious. I saw it like five times. Where's the love? Right on, let me get two apple chickens and some pecan waffles. Nothing for me, I-- I had, like, four hot dogs this morning. Eat, Lemon. Eat! I hate skinny women. Hey, Lorna. Ten beers. So, Tracy, we should talk about the show. Yeah, I ain't doing it unless I can get to do it my way. You know, I want it to be raw. HBO-style content. Well, it's not HBO. It's TV. And I don't think that it's a good fit-- You know, cause I wanna drop truth bombs. You know how pissed off I was when Us Weekly said that I was on crack? That's racism. I'm not on crack. I'm straight up mentally ill! Sure. I got mental health issues. Sure, well, you know... Who doesn't, really? Hey, has anyone seen Liz? Or Pete? She went out. Well, who's in charge when they're not here? I'm in charge. Oh. Okay. Um, well, I'm not sure about this costume. I think it's hot. Thank you. I'm Jenna, by the way. Ms. Moroney, I got the hemorrhoid cream you wanted. It's for my face. Well, wherever you're putting it, I think it's working. You know, I don't-- I don't think you'd like it. 'Cause we work a lot of hours, and it's live TV, which is risky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like risky. See, me and you, we play the game. We know how to be acceptable. Hello, great meeting. I drink coffee, please. This show is our chance to break the shackles. 'Cause the white dudes want to see us fail. What white dudes? All of 'em. Jack Donaghy, General Electric, George Bush, Karl Robe. Karl Robe, you say? Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other. To distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets. That's a metaphor. Sure. You should tell that to Us Weekly. Hey, Lemon. You like karaoke? I know a joint. No, no, I-- I gotta wrap up this lunch meeting, Tracy. I'll take you. I'll take you. I just gotta make a quick stop first. You know what, when people say they need to make a quick stop, they usually mean at the bank or the store. No, thank you. You know what, this is for computer classes. Know why I should do this TV show, Lemon? I really don't. To get you rich. 'Cause you know if I'm on that TV show, it's gon' blow up. How do you know I'm not rich? Your teeth. You got to think like these strippers, Lemon. They know the window of opportunity's only open for a moment. You gotta get in when you're young. Get the money and get out. Yeah, well, I'm not a sex worker, Tracy. I don't have sex for a living. Neither do we. Neither do they. Yes, they do. Where is my phone? We are strong No one can tell us we're wrong Searching our hearts for so lo-ong He's got charisma. No, that's Charisma over there. Girlie Show. Ken, send me a car, okay? What is your location? Dark Sensations, in the Bronx. I wish you were here. Mr. Donaghy does not get us showbiz people. Let me talk to Pete, okay? Oh, Pete got fired this morning. That's so weird that you don't know that. Jack Donaghy thinks he's gonna come into my house and mess with my show? Hell no. Jenna and I worked for years to get this show. You know, I moved from Chicago for this. From Chicago? I was in Scottie Pippen's wedding. Now Donaghy is trying to steal it from us. He already fired Pete, who is a great producer. He fired Pete? He can't fire Pete. You know what, I quit. He can suck it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, suck it, Pete. No, you're not listening. You're not a good listener. 20 minutes to air. But Liz said we were cutting the cat lady sketch. She said it stinks. Ouch. This is why Liz is wrong. Animal humour is universal. I just don't think that I'm good in it. Do you think I'm good in it? I think this is your opportunity to go out there and prove everybody wrong. What--what do you mean? Who's everybody? The network that wanted to fire you, the focus groups that said you had a weird eye-- You mean this eye? Okay, this eye-- It doesn't open all the way because when I was little, my sister peed in it. Tonight is your opportunity to go out there and change all of our minds. What? Where is Liz? Liz? ! Four minutes to air. That's four minutes to air. Is Liz back yet? No, which cat do you want Jenna to carry? I'm sorry? Which cat? Oh. I want...that one. Jack Donaghy to the control room, please. Jack Donaghy. Peanut's not an actor. I just--I just rescued him from a lab. Hey, Lemon, I'll drop you off. Where do you live? The studio. I want you to drop me at the studio. I want to tell Donaghey to his face that I quit. And I want to do it in front of the whole crew, so that they know he didn't fire me. I wanna see that. Gonna turn the lights down low. It's almost time for the Girlie Show Ooh, ooh, pull over. Pull over here. Tracy, I don't have time for this. This is where I grew up. This is the Jordan family estate? Wasn't no Jordan family nothin'. This is where I was in foster care. Oh. Sorry. Me and two other dudes and a girl with messed-up fingers. I'm so lucky I got out of here. It's not luck, I mean... You got out of here because you're very talented, and... people love you, and... Are you peeing? Where's Donaghy? I wanna talk to him right now. Last time I saw him, he was riding a crane camera. Oh, I have Pete for you. Pete, oh, my God. I didn't know. No, hey, listen. It'll--it'll give me a chance to spend more time with my kids. I'm quitting. I'm quitting right now. No, no, no, no, no. You have the best job in New York. Don't quit over this. Don't buy all the hot dogs. Okay? I don't want to do this without you. Hey, I thought we cut the Cat Lady sketch. We're two minutes short! So, let me introduce myself. My name is Lurleen Katz. And these are my cats. She's using a real cat? I cast that cat myself. And sir, while they are my-- Ow! Aaugh! No, no, no, no, no. He's okay. I need you to talk for two minutes. About what? Anything. All right. These cats are more than just pets, sir. Why, just this morning-- Excuse me! Where is the manager? I'm from the government, and I'm here to inspect your chicken nuggets. Uh-oh. Look at Shorty. This honky grandma be trippin'. What's up, America? I'm coming into your house live. Lemme hear you say "We love you, Tracy." We love you, Tracy! I am the third heat! He's brilliant. Are you drunk? Yes. Why did you fire Pete? Why did you disappear all night? Is this some kind of a power play? Yeah, yeah. It's not so fun being "hands on" with these bloodsuckers, is it? Could we talk about this on Monday? No. I want Pete back. I want it in writing that Jenna's job is safe, and I want a cappuccino machine for the writers' room. Fine. I thought you were going to quit. Yeah, well, you don't know everything about me. You weigh 127 pounds. Yeah. Thank you, good night. You will be hearing from Peanut's lawyer. Good night, sleep tight. I can't wait to do this with you every week. [Horn honking] Hello? Excuse me? There's a line, buddy. There's two lines. No, no, there's one line. We're in it. I'm just getting a hot dog. We're all getting hot dogs. What, do you think there's two lines and we're all in this line and you're the only genius that got in the other line? You believe this guy? Don't line up behind him. He cheated you. Hey, shut up. Now I want all the hot dogs, please. Yeah, I'm buying all the hot dogs. You don't have to do that. No, no, no, You don't have to do that. That is ridiculous. And I'm giving them to the good people. I'm starving. ß Who's that kickin' it down the street? ß ß Causing a stir ß ß Who's that? I know that you're wondering ß ß That's her ß ß That's her, that's her, that's her, that's her ß ß Who's got the kind of charisma that the boys prefer ß ß Who's hot and you know that she knows it? ß ß That's her ß ß She's like a summer sky, a slice of cherry pie ß ß The rarest butterfly ß ß Me, oh, my ß ß Who flaunts her feminine magic ß ß That's her ß ß That's me ß MAN: That's Pam, The Overly-Confident Morbidly Obese Woman. This fat suit smells like corn chips. WOMAN ON P. A: Going again, please. Thank you. And this is the set of "The Girlie Show." It's a real fun ladies' comedy show for ladies. Hey, everybody, look. Here's someone you never get a chance to meet. It's the head writer of "The Girlie Show," Liz Lemon. [Clapping] [Burps] [Telephone ringing] "The Girlie Show." Hold on, I'll connect you. Hey. PETE: What's up? Hey, have you looked at that cat-lady sketch? It's still seven minutes long. Yikes, okay. Oh, and Standards has a problem with that Michael Jackson bit. Why? Apparently, you can't say he's got a vagina. Ohh! Fine, I'll just take the whole thing out. Hey, you've got to tell that NBC page to take it down a notch. Who, Kenneth? He just embarrassed me in front of a whole tour group. I'll talk to him. What is this? Well, you know how I hate it when people cheat or break rules? Yes, I do. Well, I just spent 150 bucks on wieners. Attaboy. Chumley, the beverage situation around here is reprehensible. Oh, good morning, sunshine. Surely, our massive conglomerate parent company could spring for a samovar of coffee. Yeah, or, like, a big coffee dispenser. That's what a samovar is. Are there other black nerds, or is it just you and Urkel? Uh, Cerie, do you want to go get some coffee? No, thank you. No? Hey, Josh, I need to change your Michael Jackson thing. Didn't you tell me you had a Jay Leno impression? Yeah, yeah, yeah, check it out. [High-pitched voice] So, President Bush is in the news again. No, Jay Leno. The host of "The Tonight Show." [Normal voice] That's what I was doing. [High-pitched voice] So, my wife Mavis and I like to go shopping for old cars, you know? No, no, like Jay Leno. [High-pitched voice] Like, "Hey, here are the headlines." [High-pitched voice] Have you ever noticed when you eat a lot of cheese... How is that different from what I was doing? And I don't think you need to introduce the writers to the tour group. I agree. I thought they would find it interesting, but they really did not. Well, Kenneth, just respect their privacy. I promise I'll do better, Mr. Hornberger. I'm sure you will. I just... I just love television so much. We all do. Liz, they want you and Pete on the 50th floor. Who, Gary? All right, tell him I'll be up in half an hour. No, they said now. If they've got cookies up there, grab some. Ooh, and get them to pay for my samovar. Of course. I assume that's what we're meeting about. What about Ray Romano? Can you do Ray? [lmitating Ray Romano] Hey, aah, ho, Debra. There you go. My brother's tall! [Normal voice] Right? Are we in trouble or something? No way. Gary loves the show. Pleased with the ratings. Right, of course. They love us. Where's Gary? Gary's dead. I'm Jack Donaghy, new VP of Development for NBC-GE-Universal-Kmart. We own Kmart now? No. So, why are you dressed like we do? I'm surprised you're renovating. This is such a nice office. It's a great office, but sometimes, you have to change things that are perfectly good just to make them your own. Please. Uh, I'll call her back. Is she at the White House line? Great. Tell them I need a 4:00 A. M. tee-off time. Uh, 5 inches, but it's thick. Are you familiar with the GE trivection oven? I don't cook very much. Sure. I got you. New York third-wave feminist, college-educated, single and pretending to be happy about it, overscheduled, undersexed. You buy any magazine that says "healthy body image" on the cover. And every two years, you take up knitting for... a week. That is dead-on! What, are you gonna guess my weight now? You don't want me to do that. That knitting thing is uncanny. How do you do that? Market research, my friend. Years and years of market research which led to my greatest triumph... the trivection oven. Oh. My wife wants one of those. Can we get Pete an oven, please? The GE trivection oven cooks perfect food five times faster than a conventional oven because it uses three kinds of heat... thermal technology for consistent temperature, GE precise air-convection technology for optimal air circulation, and microwave technology for incredible speed. With three kinds of heat, you can cook a turkey... in 22 minutes. Wow. That is impressive. The people upstairs think so. That's why they promoted me. That's why they sent me here to retool your show. Retool what, now? I'm the new Vice President of east-coast television and microwave-oven programming. That sounds like you program microwave ovens. I like you. You have the boldness of a much-younger woman. Lee, does my face look bloated to you? When I played that lady rapist on "Law Order," guess what the makeup guy put on under my eyes to take the puffiness out. Hemorrhoid cream. [Laughs] Miss Maroney, I have the cat wrangler here for you. Oh, is it that horrible little... Hi. Hey. Greta Johanssen... short for Lugreta. Hi. Great to see you again. You too. I'm here to introduce you to the feline actors you're gonna be working with tonight. Okay. This is Poppo. And this here is Captain Boots. Hello. Would you describe yourself as cat-competent? Oh, yes. I love cats. I used to have two cats. But then I moved to this place with hardwood floors, so we had to put them down. [Captain Boots purring] I'm joking. We've done several focus groups on the show, and what I've gleaned... the blond, big-eyed girl is popular with women and older gays. Jenna. That's my friend Jenna. And the kid with the funny hair is liked by women, but you're missing men between 18 and 49. I'm not missing them. They're just not there. I think I can fix that. So, your job is you take things that are already working, and you fix them. That's a great job. Why don't we, uh... You're missing that third kind of heat. I want you to think about Tracy Jordan. Okay, the black guy? The black movie star. I flew with him on a private jet to the Super Bowl recently, and I found him very entertaining. Isn't he, um... crazy? Tracy's had his problems in the last few years. I am a Jedi! I am a Jedi! I am a Jedi! The important thing to remember is he was never charged with a crime. It's not illegal to fall asleep on your neighbor's roof. Nor should it be. Tracy Jordan is the third heat. I don't know where we're gonna find room in the budget for a guy like Tracy Jordan. I think I do. What are you doing? Sometimes, when I have these stress dreams, if I go to sleep in the dream, I come out of it. "This is not a dream." Tracy Jordan is in New York today, Liz. I'd like you to have lunch with him. We have a show tonight, Mr. Donaghy. I don't know if your research covered this, but we do a dress rehearsal and then a live show. That's tonight. This is lunch. If it's not a good fit, I'll drop the whole thing. If I meet with Tracy Jordan and we mutually agree that this is the worst idea ever, you'll back off? I'm known for being reasonable. [Sighs] Okay. Alfredo, 2:00 P. M. I'm not dressed for that. You're dressed for Burger King. Should we make it Burger King? Pete, hang back for me. Yeah, you bet. Y'all, please set yourselves for "Dr. Ridiculous." Hey. What happened to your head? The sky is falling. Do you have a pair of dress pants or a skirt or something I could borrow? Thank you, Lee. Whatever. Hey, you know in that cat-lady sketch, do I have to hold a real cat? Cat-lady sketch? That thing's gonna get cut. Oh, good. Who's that? That is the new network dude. Mmm, yummers. He reminds me of Scotty on "General Hospital." No, ew, Jenna, do not like that man. That is a bad man. God, you have a gift. Laura Bush is your size. [Exhales sharply] Excuse me. Hi. What are you doing down here? I'm known for being hands-on. Clearly. That's how you should dress for work, by the way. Yeah, if I was president of the Philippines. Now, Afghanistan is a different situation. [Indistinct conversations] I'll have an apple juice. We don't have apple juice, sir. Then I'll take a vodka and tonic. Hi, I'm Liz Lemon. I know who you are. I thought there was a strict dress code at this place. I do recommend the pumpkin ravioli. They're very subtle. So, Tracy, this Jack Donaghy guy wanted me to talk to you about joining the cast of our show, and I don't know how you feel about that... Let me ask you a question, everybody at this table. Did he just say the word "pumpkin" to me? Yes, um, pumpkin ravioli. Yo! I'm buggin'. I can't do this. I cannot eat here. I can't eat here. I got to go someplace where they make food that I like. Lemon, let's go. I will not work with Tracy Jordan. It's just a rumor. Have you seen any of his movies? The guy's sensibility is just cretinous. I saw the one where he plays, like, five different characters. Yeah, "Black Cop, White Cop." No. "Who Dat Ninja"? No, he... he had to pretend to be this old lady. [High-pitched voice] Ooh, ooh, goodness gracious! You hooligans better watch out! [Normal voice] 'Cause this honky grandma be trippin'! Oh, yeah, that movie was hilarious. I saw it, like, five times. Where's the love? [Indistinct shouting] Right on. Hey, let me get two half a chickens and some pecan waffles. Nothing for me. I had, like, four hot dogs this morning. Eat, Lemon, eat. I hate skinny women. Hey, Lana, 10 beers. So, Tracy, we should talk about the show. I ain't doing it unless I can get to do it my way. You know, I want it to be raw, HBO-style content. Well, it's not HBO. It's TV. And I don't think that it's a good fit. 'Cause I'm gonna drop truth bombs. You know how pissed off I was when U S Weekly said that I was on crack? That's racist. I'm not on crack. I'm straight-up mentally ill. Sure. I got mental-health issues. Sure. Well, you know, who doesn't, really? Hey, has anyone seen Liz? Or Pete? She went out. Well, who's in charge when they're not here? I'm in charge. Oh. Okay. Um, well, I'm not sure about this costume. I think it's hot. Thank you. I'm Jenna, by the way. Miss Maroney, I got the hemorrhoid cream you wanted. It's for my face. Well, wherever you're putting it, I think it's working. You know, I don't think you'd like it, 'cause we work a lot of hours and it's live TV, which is risky. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like risky. See, me and you, we play the game. We know how to be acceptable. "Hello, great meeting. I drink coffee, please." This show is our chance to break the shackles. 'Cause the white dudes want to see us fail. What white dudes? All of 'em. Jack Donaghy, General Electric, George Bush, Karl Robe. Karl Robe, you say? Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other, to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets. That's a metaphor. Sure. You should tell that to U S Weekly. Hey, Lemon, you like karaoke? I know a joint. No, I've got to wrap up this lunch meeting, Tracy. [Horn honking] I'll take you. I'll take you. I just got to make a quick stop first. [Cheers and applause] LIZ: You know what? When people say they need to make a quick stop, they usually mean at the bank or at the store. No, thank you. You know what? This is for computer classes. You know why I should do this TV show, Lemon? I really don't. To get you rich. 'Cause you know if I'm on that TV show, it's gonna blow up. How do you know I'm not rich? Your teeth. You got to think like these strippers, Lemon. They know the window of opportunity is only open for a moment. You got to get in while you're young, get the money, and get out. Yeah, well, I'm not a sex worker, Tracy. I don't have sex for a living. Neither do we. Neither do they. [Whispering] Yes, they do. [Zipper zips] Where's my phone? TRAC Y: [Off-key] ß Whoa, whoa, whoa ß ß Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ß ß We are strong! ß ß No one can tell us we're wrong! ß ß Searching our hearts for so long! ß He's got charisma. No, that's Charisma over there. [Telephone rings] "Girlie Show." LIZ: Kenneth, send me a car, okay? What is your location? Dark Sensations in the Bronx. I wish you were here. Mr. Donaghy does not get us showbiz people. Let me talk to Pete, okay? Oh, Pete got fired this morning. That's so weird that you don't know that. [Cheers and applause] LIZ: Jack Donaghy thinks he's gonna come into my house and mess with my show? ! Hell no! Jenna and I worked for years to get this show. You know, I moved from Chicago for this. From Chicago? I was in Scottie Pippin's wedding. Now Donaghy is trying to steal it from us. He already fired Pete, who is a great producer. Fire Pete? He can't fire Pete. You know what? I quit. He can suck it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, suck it, Pete. No, you're not listening. You're not a good listener. MAN: 20 minutes to air. But Liz said we were cutting the cat-lady sketch. She said it stinks. Ouch. This is why Liz is wrong. Animal humor is universal. I just don't think that I'm good in it. Do you think I'm good in it? I think this is your opportunity to go out there and prove everybody wrong. What? What do you mean? Who's everybody? The network that wanted to fire you, the focus groups that said you had a weird eye... You mean this eye? Okay, this eye, it doesn't open all the way because when I was little, my sister peed in it. Tonight is your opportunity to go out there and change all of our minds. What? ! Where is Liz? ! Liz! [Salt-N-Pepa's "Push lt" playing] [Indistinct shouting, laughter] TRAC Y: Get down! Four minutes to air. That's four minutes to air. Is Liz back yet? No. Which cat do you want Jenna to carry? I'm sorry? Which cat? Oh. I want... that one. Jack Donaghy to the forum, please. Jack Donaghy. Peanut's not an actor. I just rescued her from a lab. [Exhales sharply] Hey, Lemon, I'll drop you off. Where do you live? The studio. I want you to drop me at the studio. I want to tell Donaghy to his face that I quit, and I want to do it in front of the whole crew so that they know he didn't fire me. I want to see that. [Cheers and applause] ß It's time for "The Girlie Show" ß Oh, oh, pull over! Pull over here! Tracy, I don't have time for this. Right here. This is where I grew up. This is the Jordan family estate? Wasn't no Jordan family nothing. This is where I was in foster care. Oh, sorry. Me and two other dudes and a girl with messed-up fingers. I'm so lucky I got out of here. It's not luck. I mean, you got out of here because you're very talented and people love you and... Are you peeing? Where's Donaghy? I want to talk to him right now. Last time I saw him, he was riding the crane camera. Oh, I have Pete for you. Pete, oh, my God, I didn't know. No, hey, listen, it will give me a chance to spend more time with my kids. I'm quitting. I'm quitting right now. No, no, no, no, no. You have the best job in New York. Don't quit over this. Don't buy all the hot dogs, okay? I don't want to do this without you. Hey, I thought we cut the cat-lady sketch. We're two minutes short! [Cats meowing] [Scratchy voice] So, let me introduce myself. My name is Lurlene Katz. And these are my cats. She's using a real cat? I cast that cat myself. Why, they are my... Aah! Ow! [Peanut growls] Oh! [Screams] [Audience booing] [Normal voice] No, no, no, no, he's okay! I need you to talk for two minutes. About what? Anything. All right. [Scratchy voice] These cats are more than just pets, sir. Excuse me. Where's the manager? I'm from the government, and I'm here to inspect your chicken nuggets. [Cheers and applause] [Laughs] Uh-oh. Look at shorty. This honky grandma be trippin'! [Laughter and applause] What's up, America? ! I'm coming into your house live! Let me hear you say, "We love you, Tracy!" ALL: We love you, Tracy! I am the third heat! [Laughter] [Cheers and applause] He's brilliant. Are you drunk? Yes. Why did you fire Pete? Why did you disappear all night? Is this some kind of a power play? Yeah, yeah, it's not so fun being hands-on with these bloodsuckers, is it? Can we talk about this on Monday? No, I want Pete back. I want it in writing that Jenna's job is safe. And I want a cappuccino machine for the writers' room. Fine. I thought you were gonna quit. Yeah, well, you don't know everything about me. You weigh 127 pounds. [Inhales deeply] Yeah. Oh, yeah! Holla at your boy! [Cheers and applause] Hey, you will be hearing from Peanut's lawyer. Good night, sleep tight. I can't wait to do this with you every week. [Chuckles] BroughttoyoubyD-Fansubs D r a m a F a n s u b s Major Translation provided by MBC America Transcript provided by creidesca Minor Translation Editing seewhy Timer fateNdestiny QC Spot Translation Jae.M Encoder Kandi Miss! Miss! What happened here? ! Aren't you afraid of death? Are you alright? Yes, I am. Recognize him? No, I don't. I recognize him. He was one of those Heng-In soldiers we met during a weapons trade the last time. Why would they want to hurt me? Even if it were for revenge, it's impossible for Heng-In troops to attack the fleet. Doing so would spell disaster for diplomacy between our country and theirs. Why are you the only one back? We were defeated by the guards. WHAT? ! YOU USELESS FOOL! Of all things... I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I want all the troops assembled at once. Yes, sir. Damn it! Any news? The commander who represented Heng-In during that transaction was a man called Bae-Mang. He defied orders and tried to embezzle the gold and weaponry that was to be used in exchange for our goods. His act was brought to light, and he was stripped of his position. He then gathered a group of followers and renegaded. A renegade? You're saying those people after Miss are outlaws? Yes. I should have killed them all when I had the chance. That's not all. They might be outlaws, but they were also soldiers and officers trained in the Heng-In Military. They will be well-trained, and battle hardy. This is bad. We cannot match their calibre. Now that they know our location and vitals, It will be perilous to continue with the expedition. We should head back to BuYeo. Sa-Yong is right. Miss, Those people are with a vengeance, and they'll surely hunt us down. Our best bet is to avoid them. We'd better go back, Miss. I heard they still address their leader as 'Commander'. Ah, what's the use? They're nothing but bandits. Hey don't look down on them. They're even tougher than the average Heng-In soldier. These men will gladly jump into fire at a word from their officers. No wonder even the imperial guards are no match for them. I... guess this is for real. Brother. Seems it's reckless to continue with this expedition. We should go back to BuYeo. Yes, I agree. Brother, please convince So Seo-No. Truthfully, No matter what adversities I may come across, I would still want to reach Go-San Nation. But the fleet ultimately belongs to So Seo-No. I guess we have to wait for her decision. Follow me. Where to? To the bandit's hideout. What? ! Why? ! To understand their strength and movement. No, hey Brother! (BuYeo Palace) What is it that you want? The Han Dynasty is preparing to wage war against the barbarians of South-West Yi. The Emperor is offering a chance for BuYeo to show her loyalty by pledging 10,000 soldiers to the cause in return for the Emperor's benevolence. This is also a good chance to mend the failing diplomacy between our two countries Knowing His Majesty, he'd never send reinforcements I agree with you. If the previous King were still around, he would have declined immediately. But this time, it seems he did not give an answer at all. Might he have something up his sleeves? What other motives would he have? It must be because of the recent trade issues. His Majesty is aware that in refusing... the people of BuYeo might be put in a difficult position. It is this that His Majesty is worried about. Chief General! Yes. Won't sending out 10,000 soldiers as reinforcements lead to any problems for us? We cannot mobilize the soldiers in BuYeo, as well as those at the border. But if we send out SachulDo troops, BuYeo's defense will not be compromised. His Majesty is aware of this as well. Prime Minister, If we send out reinforcements, What do you think we can gain out of it? For one, we can easily settle the trade issues. We can also request to learn the art of forging steel from the Hans. After we send out reinforcements, we can also request that they be responsible for arming the reinforcements and expenditures. Great idea! But the Hans will not agree to it so easily. The most important thing is, we must be sure that the Hans will win this battle easily, like what Yang-Jeong claims they can do. Sending troops into a losing battle will not do. Did you check up on them? Yes The ministers haven't left their positions... and are currently in a heated discussion over whether to send reinforcements to Han Nation. Even if they come to a conclusion on their own, Doesn't the final say lie on the King Geum-Wa? Dong-Sun Yes, Governor! Arrange a private session with Dae-So. I'd like to speak to him privately Yes. If His Majesty refuses to send out reinforcements, Diplomacy between BuYeo and the Han Dynasty will surely crumble. Dae-So, you spent much effort at Hyeon-To solving our previous problems. I'm afraid your efforts might come to waste. His Majesty will make a wise decision. Please don't worry. No. His Majesty will not comply with the Han's request for reinforcements. It's different this time around. If he declines, the people will be adversely afffected by our lack of salt. Then, for that we will have to go to war. I'm sure His Majesty is aware of this as well. I can't stand it any longer. How long are we going to let the Han Dynasty oppress us? We are but dogs of the Hans. That Yang-Jeong jumps at every chance to make things difficult for Father. Brother, why don't I just dispose of him already? Do you really want BuYeo to be annihilated? Why don't you try using your brains to think for a while? You calm down too. I'm sure Young-Po said that out of anger. I'm sorry, Brother. Your Highness. The Governor of Hyeon-To requested for a private audience with you. I guess it's up to you to convince His Majesty. To think about the soldiers who have to spill their blood for the Hans, must have resulted in sleepless nights for His Majesty. If we comply, what can the Han Dynasty provide BuYeo with? As long as the reinforcements are sent out. I will make sure that every BuYeo soldier gets paid as much as a Han soldier. I will also ensure that there will not be any further trade disputes between us. I demand that all BuYeo soldiers be armed with steel weapons and armor and be allowed to return home with them. Your Majesty, Prince Dae-So requests an audience with you. Invite him in. What's the matter? Your Majesty, I just spoke to Governor Yang-Jeong. I have Yang-Jeong's promise. If we send out reinforcements, He will arm all these soldiers with steel, and allow us to keep them after the war. Did he allow you to be convinced with these conditions? Your Majesty, if this works out, BuYeo will become a strong nation that even the Hans cannot disregard. As long as we have 10,000 soldiers capable of wielding steel, how many other minor nations can look down on us? Dae-So... Yes, Your Majesty. If the Hans lose this war, How many of those soldiers do you think will make it back alive? Am I to use the lives of young soldiers to exchange for a stronger nation? Your Majesty, To achieve the goal of building a strong nation, some sacrifices have to be made, Those sacrifices will incur the wrath of the populace, Ostracize us, and create a rift between the Government and the people. If we don't comply, the Han Dynasty will put pressure on our trade issues again, If the Hans... dare to oppress BuYeo again, Then, I'm prepared to go to war with them. This is a matter that still requires much thought, Don't come to a hasty conclusion. Is there still no news of the decision? Yes. Not knowing the outcome of the war, It'll be a huge gamble to dedicate 10,000 troops just by faith alone. No matter how tempting Yang-Jeong's offer is, King Geum-Wa will have a hard time making his decision. From your point of view, What do you think his verdict will be? Oh yes King Geum-Wa will weigh the gains in winning the war against the consequences of losing the war, and the people's vengeance that might follow. The interesting thing is No matter what the King's decision may be, Our merchant fleet will stand to gain. Who's there? ! Have you checked it out? Yes. Besides the ones under training, there're still about 20 of them. Their weapons look impressive as well. There're also 90 odd prisoners. It looks like they'll be sold as slaves. There're only two road leading to the hideout. One of them passes between cliffs and will be hard to sneak in. They usually wait in ambush here to attack and plunder passing merchants. The prisoners are then taken here. Brother, Brother! Have you checked out their movement? They're still at the inn. Will they return to BuYeo? If they know who we are, they will not mobilize the fleet so easily. We will ambush them the moment they are about to leave Heng-In. We must capture that rascal So Seo-No alive and bring her to me. Is that understood? Yes, Commander. Miss! Miss! What else is there to mull over? All the workers don't wish to die before they return home. Please give us the order to withdraw. Sa-Yong, Yes, Miss. If father were here, what would he do? Chief isn't a reckless person. You think that my frustration is an act of recklessness? Judging from our strength, we can't possibly hope to take them on. We should flee from a battle that we cannot win. Actually, I... would have liked to brave the danger to reach Go-San Nation. Miss! Father wants to test my competence... through this expedition. This I am aware of. That's why I want to give it all I've got. Please continue. But like what Uncle Gye-Pil said, I will not put the workers in danger just because of my selfishness. Prepare to withdraw. Miss, I'm glad you said that. Hey, Just in time. We've already decided to head back to BuYeo. You'd better pack your stuff fast. It's a pity I know, but there's no other way. I'll abide by Miss's orders, but before I get my belongings, could you hear me out first? Please speak. Though I haven't been here for long, I realize that sometimes sacrifices have to be made if we want profit. If we give up, expecting to lose, Then we won't have a chance of winning. If we give up this opportunity, Next time and following that, Paving a trade route to Go-San will become a lost cause. It's not as if we don't know! Please give me two days. I'll get rid of every threat between us and Go-San. Threat? Are you going to take on the bandits? As for the details, I've not made up my mind yet. Taking a detour around the bandits, is another possibility. One thing's for sure, I won't drag the fleet into this. Two days then. If you can't find a solution by then, then we'll withdraw. How are we going to come up with something in two days? Didn't you see it for yourself? They may be bandits, but they're no different from Imperial Guards. It's already hard enough to get close, how are we going to kill the leader? I must go alone to the bandit's hideout. What? What? Spare me! Spare me! Spare me! Get off the horse. Move it! These are the few we just caught? What do they have with them? Silk and red jade. Compared to those, I think these scums here are worth more. They look tough. -Take them away. -Yes. Hey hey hey. Watch it. What's on your mind? Eh? Nothing. What Prince Ju-Mong has found out... don't you wish to know? I don't place high hopes on that. Now, it seems no one can come up with something good. The reason I gave him two days is because I know this expedition means a lot to him. For us, We can always leave it to next time. But for Prince Ju-Mong, he can't do the same. Compared to the acknowledgement I want from Father, Prince Ju-Mong's need of King Geum-Wa's acknowedgement far outweighs mine. Looks like the scale has tipped. What do you mean by that? You used to treat Prince Dae-So and Ju-Mong equally. Now it seems you're leaning closer to Prince Ju-Mong. What you've said, I can't deny. How should I put it? When I see him, I just feel like doing all I can for him. I pity him too and I worry what would become of him if I weren't here. Do you know this feeling? Miss! Miss! We're in trouble. What happened? I heard Prince Ju-Mong wasn't searching for a new route. Then... where did he go? I heard he went to the bandit's hideout. That Oh-Yi who went with him, told one of the guards, DongSu He said he's going to get the bandit's leader. He must be bloody insane! How can he be so reckless? Looks like Prince Ju-Mong can no longer serve as a weapon for you. It seems there aren't many guards watching over this cell. We just have to deal with those four at the entrance. Their vigilance will waver at night. As long as we neutralize their leader, they'll break into disarray. Commander, someone from BuYeo is here to buy the slaves. Oh, really? You're here. is Boss with you? Boss has some urgent matters to look into, I can handle matters, don't worry. Do you have a few good ones? There should be quite a bunch. Anyway, let's cut some slack on the transactions. It must have been difficult for you to travel so far Why don't you have a drink first? Go have a look at the slaves and see if there're any good ones. Yes. Let's go Here, have a cup. Sure. Cheers! Cheers! I have quite a few pretty girls. Do you want to try them out? There's no hurry. I'll take my time. Yes, sure By the way, What urgent matters do your boss have? He used to handpick the slaves himself. The Governor of Hyeon-To is at BuYeo My Lord A problem? -Is it for real? -Yes. -Let's get started. -Yes. Hey Aigoo, I need help! Come, come! Brother. Not here! Put down your swords. Long time no see, Your Highness. I never dreamed of seeing you in a place like this. You used to act like you own everything, Now look where you are. You're a lucky man, Commander. A fortune just came knocking on our door. What do you want me to do? If you kill them, Boss will reward you handsomely. Before I do so, I want to get my hands on So Seo-No that wrectch. As you wish, Commander, I just want to get rid of them. Then I'll leave this to you, Commander. Have a safe trip. -Let's go. -Yes. Are we really going to kill them? If what he said is true, if he really is a Prince of BuYeo We'll get into deep trouble. Capturing So Seo-No is our first priority. Han-Dang that rascal, I'm going to kill him. Really? Is that true? Yes, it is. Besides Ju-Mong, we have Oh-Yi, Ma-Ri, and Hyeop-Bo too. We might even have a chance of nabbing So Seo-No. I'm... I'm...going to be rich! Eh wait, why am I still sitting here? I'm off to tell Prince Young-Po the good news. -Han-Dang... -Yes. I got it. Your Highness... Yeo Mi-Eul! Yeo Mi-Eul! What are you standing around for? ! -Quick carry her inside! -Yes. Are you alright, Priestess Yeo Mi-Eul? We thought we were going to lose you. I'm okay. You've exhausted yourself. How's things in the palace? About the reinforcements, His Majesty hasn't come to a decision yet. The ministers have differing opinions among themselves too. It looks like His Majesty is having a hard time. It's just a yes or a no, must it take so long? As long as you agree to it. BuYeo will receive the Emperor's benevolence. I simply cannot understand all this dragging and procrastination. Prince Dae-So, please try again. If I try again, it'll only make it worse. I cannot wait any longer! If you cannot decide soon, then it leaves me no choice. What's that supposed to mean? Haven't I made myself clear enough? It's because of Prince Dae-So's hardwork that our nations... have the peace that they enjoy now. This has nothing to do with the reinforcements, It was solely between you and me. Don't try to put them together. I'm very touched that you brought me Hae Mo-Su's head. Concerning BuYeo and the Han Dynasty's diplomacy, I'm very interested in helping you out. But, If you're holding back because you fear your father, Then it's a pity our friendship has to end here. This is worrying! Do we really have to wait for His Majesty's decision? Sometimes it cannot be helped, Your Highness. Those blasted rascals Everytime the Hans come around, we have to swallow our dignity. How long is this going to last? Hey Mu-Song. What? Do you want to know why someone like me can make it this far without wife and children? That's because I dedicated my entire life to this Iron Workshop. This Workshop is my wife, my children. Now they want me to put it out of service. Isn't that like asking me to kill my wife and children? My condolences. The only one who take all these sorrow away is Prince Ju-Mong. Prince Ju-Mong, please you must become Crown Prince and extinguish this misery for Mo Pal-Mo. Hey watch what you're saying! What if someone hears you? and drink less of that wine! Bug off! I know I'm right. No matter what, The only person fit to be Crown Prince is Prince Ju-Mong! I said shut it! You rascals! What did you say? What about Ju-Mong? Are you itching for death? Your Highness, IronSmith Leader... he's drunk He only said that out of brashness Please forgive us! I dare you to say that again! I'm sorry, Your Highness. Mo Pal-Mo, you better get this straight I know His Majesty favours you, But if you spew nonsense like that again, You won't stay alive even if you had ten heads to spare. Am I clear? ! See! Didn't I tell you to cut down on drinking? And? I heard His Majesty hasn't given his word yet My Lady If we don't send out reinforcements Will the Hans cut off our salt supply? What are we going to do? I'm journeying to Go-San Nation Go-San Nation? Might it be for the salt? Yes. Although the trade problem with Han Dynasty has been solved... His Majesty's worry has not abated I would like to handle this problem for His Majesty. I know you have good intentions, but I heard from your grandfather, No one really knows if Go-San Nation has any salt. Please don't worry I've met some people from Go-San Nation at BuYeo City I have confidence. Contact the Yeon Ta-Bal merchant fleet If possible, look out for any news from Ju-Mong Yes, My Lady. The Governor Of Hyeon-To awaits your wise decision, Your Majesty. Yang-Jeong. Yes. I have decided, I will not be sending reinforcements. Your Majesty, Do you realize that your decision will catalyse the collapse of BuYeo's diplomacy with the Hans? This decision does not lie in your hands, but in mine. However, if the Hans will forsake our ties just because of this, then it only goes to show how unreasonable they are. You have gone too far.. Compared to... the way you have insulted BuYeo over the years, This is nothing. I will give you more time. Do think this over carefully. Even if I think it over a thousand more times, My answer will remain unchanged. Dismissed! Those barbarians who dare stand up against us Hans will disappear like ashes from the face of this world. And after this, the Emperor might consider doing exactly the same thing to BuYeo. PREPOSTEROUS! You go back and tell your Emperor, BuYeo will be well prepared for it. The one that will turn to ash is not BuYeo, but the Han Dynasty. I will convey this message. Listen up! Regarding my decision, Don't ever bring it up again. Yes, Your Majesty. Chief General! Yes, Your Majesty. From this moment onwards, Move the entire BuYeo's military into battle position. We must stand prepared for any provocation from the Hans. Chief General Heuk-Chi, pledges obedience to Your Majesty. High Priestess, His Majesty has rejected the Han's request for reinforcements, and has ordered the General to make war preparations. General Chun-Gu, make for SaChulDo immediately and initiate a check on the soldiers and provision. The soldiers should be prepared to mobilize promptly at His Majesty's order. Yes, Chief General. General Ji-Gu. Order all officers in and outside of BuYeo to check on their weapons and provision. Yes, Chief General. Are we all just going to sit around? We should at least convince His Majesty to avoid going to war. Palace Emissary, It's already too late. There's nothing we can do now. Instead of trying to avoid the war, Why don't we put our heads together and think of a way to win? This is what a loyal minister should do. No I don't agree If we cannot get His Majesty to change his mind, then we should seek the Governor of Hyeon-To and appeal to him for a truce. Didn't you see how smug Yang-Jeong was? As long as we don't comply, there'll be no end to this. The problem is salt. If we don't secure a supply of salt, I'm afraid the people and soldiers will perish. We must find a solution. Your Majesty, the Priestess seeks an audience with you. Invite her in. What is it? Your Majesty, I have depleted my strength these ten days seeking salvation for BuYeo. Why didn't you visit me even once? I told you I washed my hands clean of the Divination Palace, I'm very disappointed. If you came just to discuss this, Then please go back. Your Majesty, I, Yeo Mi-Eul, have never once lived my life for myself. Before I became Priestess, I was a woman who kept Your Majesty in my heart. After becoming Priestess, I only have BuYeo in my heart, I live for BuYeo. I lived my whole life for BuYeo and Your Majesty. How can you treat me like this? Like you, Yeo Mi-Eul, I, too... have a person whom I deepy respect, Hae Mo-Su. Whenever I think of the cruelty you inflicted on him, I can't stand it. This scar will be with me till the day that I die. I heard Your Majesty is prepared to wage war against the Han Dynasty. Indeed. Do you think we stand a chance of winning? Because of your animosity towards the Divination Palace and I, You made a wrong decision. Such reckless decisions will be frowned upon by the Gods. For the sake of BuYeo, Please act with wisdom and prudence. Then, You suppose that sacrificing the lives of 10,000 soldiers to appease the ruthless Han Dynasty will garner Divine protection for us? Stop exploiting the Gods to blind and deafen me. A cloud of war hangs over BuYeo now. If war erupts, should we move the fleet to Gyeh-Ru? Don't worry, We'll know of it as soon as they mobilize the troops. It's not too late if we move then. I wonder how So Seo-No is doing. Miss! The two days are up. Still no news of him, something bad must have happened. What should we do now? Miss, it's best if we return to BuYeo first. It doesn't help if we stay here all day. I... am going to the bandit's hideout myself. Miss! This is not like you, what's wrong? What was I like last time? You were fast and precise. Sometimes you outshine even the Chief himself. Now, you can't even get your priorities right. You think I'm taking a blind risk? It's no different from suicide. What plans do you have? ! Don't worry. After I heard Prince Ju-Mong went to their hideout, I regretted not thinking of it earlier. As long as I can get Bae-Mang to drop his grudge against me, Then we wouldn't have to go back to BuYeo. When I was little, I remember Father used to tell me this... As a merchant, One must learn to make business even with an enemy. I had forgotten the fact that I was a merchant. You're saying you want to trade with the bandits? Why not? Uncle, Please look after the fleet. Sa-Yong and I will go to the bandit's hideout. Miss. Are you scared of going with me? No. I'd like to see for myself, what you're going to offer him. You're insane! Why, you as well? ! Who are you? Tell your leader, I'm So Seo-No from Yeon Ta-Bal's clan. I want to see the bandit leader. Came by yourself, didn't you? You really are something. The Commander isn't here now, Until he comes back, throw this girl into the cell. Yes. Miss! Miss! What's going on? Is the entire fleet captured? Not that, Miss decided to come on her own accord. What? Are you crazy? How can you deliver yourself to him? A blessing to see you're doing well. Seriously, Did you really come here yourself? Yes. Now... what exactly were you thinking? Are you hurt? Miss! Why didn't you tell me you were coming here? When I heard you went to kill the leader, I got the fright of my life. I'm really too embarassed to face you now. Because of my bad foresight, I got the whole fleet and you into trouble. Don't blame it on yourself. The reason I came here was to make a deal with the bandit leader. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have thought of it. Commander, So Seo-No came to the hideout herself What? What if the deal doesn't go through? You may be a merchant, but putting your life on collateral to make a deal, is really too reckless. Speaking of recklessness, You and I are no different. I... have already placed my fate in exchange for your life. Even if it fails, Even if I die, I will not regret this decision. -Take her out! -Yes. Miss, I will place mine in exchange for yours too. Thanks to ALL of the D-Fansubs Team! PLEASE DO NOT UPLOAD ANY OF OUR SUBS ON ANY WEBSITE WITHOUT OUR PRIOR APPROVAL. Miss! Miss! What happened? Why you... You jerks. Are you OK? Yes. Do you recognize him? I don't. I think I do. He's a Haengin soldier we met on your first trip as our leader. Why do they want me dead? Even if he had a grudge... there's no way a soldier would attack a troop. It could become a political issue. You came back alone? A bodyguard attacked us. What? You pathetic fool! Forgive me! Forgive me! Forgive me! - Call in my men! - Yes, sir. What did you find out? The Haengin commander we traded with... (Sayong, Yuntabal's tactician) was Baemang. His superiors caught him... trying to embezzle the gold he was supposed to pay us with. They kicked him out of the army. He and his men then became bandits. Bandits? (Kepil, Yuntabal's assistant) You mean she was attacked by bandits? Yes. I should've killed him then and there. This is serious. They used to be soldiers so they should be very well trained. This really is bad. We don't stand a chance against them. Now they know our size and location. It's too dangerous to go on. We should return to Puyo. Sayong's right. Guys with grudges will hunt you down like a mad dog. Mad dogs are best when avoided. Let's turn back, Miss. I heard they still call him commander. Commander? But they're bandits. - That's nonsense. - It's not that simple. (Oi) They train harder than soldiers do. They're willing to die for their commander. (Mari) No wonder the soldiers are no match. (Hyupbo) This is bad... Captain. There's no point in pushing forward. We should go back to Puyo. He's right. Talk to Sosuhno. Actually, I want to go to Gosan no matter what happens. But Sosuhno is our leader and we should wait for her decision. Come with me. Where to? To the bandits' hideout. What? What for? I want to check them out. Cap... (Puyo Palace) What do you want? (Yangjung, Hyunto governor) We're going to attack the Southwest Yi. Our Emperor wishes to give you a chance to serve the Han. He requests you send 1 0,000 soldiers. This is an opportunity to show your allegiance... and restore our estranged friendship. We know what His Majesty is like. He'll never send reinforcements. I agree. But he still hasn't given an answer. He usually does immediately. Maybe he has different plans. (Jinyong, Tax Minister) I doubt it. It's probably because of the recent trade issue. He's worried refusing the demand might lead to another salt scare. - Chief General. - Yes? Can we afford to send 1 0,000 soldiers? Not from the city and the borders... but there will be no problem if we send the Sachooldo soldiers. (Heukchi, Chief General) The King knows that. Prime Minister. What can we gain from sending reinforcements? It could solve the trade issue. We could even demand steel weapons. Why don't we demand they arm our men and pay for their expenditures? (Bulgae, Court Minister) That's a great idea. But I doubt they will comply. We must wonder... whether the Han can win the war as Yangjung says they will. We mustn't send men to a losing battle. Did you check up on them? Yes. The subjects are still discussing whether they should comply or not. They can discuss all they want but isn't it up to King Kumwa? - Dongsun. - Yes, Governor. Tell Daeso I'd like to see him in private. I will, Governor. Trade with the Han will stop again if the King refuses Yangjung's demand. Daeso, you went to all that trouble in Hyunto. I just hope it wasn't all in vain. Father will make a wise decision. Try not to worry too much. No. He'll never do anything to help the Han. Things have changed since then. Refusing Yangjung's demand will affect the salt situation... and Father knows we'll have to go to war over it. This is stupid. Why are we putting up with this? That Yangjung keeps on bothering us. Daeso. Why don't I just kill him? I know. I'm just saying. You wanna be president? Just say it. Say it. I'll step aside right now. Can I do my job? Please. - Sure. - Thanks. - Hello? - Hey, it's Noah. - Remember me? The guy you used to work with? - Yeah. I just heard about your father. Ah, I'm sorry. Yeah, well, it's-- it's a mess. Would you like to grab some coffee? That's a spectacularly bad idea. You're right. I grabbed the wrong file. I meant to grab the file of "reasonably bad ideas," but I grabbed the "spectacularly bad ones" instead. Been that kind of day. - Yeah. - Come on. Just one. This is dumb, hanging out here waiting for him. Well, do you really wanna go on a tour of a video arcade or a $2 movie theater? Or he could be hiking in Griffith Park for all we know. I know, I know. We should've put one of those things that they put on dogs so you can track 'em. Don't be snippy with me. I'm not on your damn TV show. God, I hate this day. Well, I'm not exactly over the moon about it, either. I know what Jonathan would do. He would call some friend in Washington, and there'd be some really fancy, expensive detective here with Justin in about four hours. Well, why don't you call him? You know, you really can tell me the problem with him. I swear I won't judge. The problem... doesn't feel like you and Dad. I guess they don't make 'em like that anymore. Oh. Look. Oh, yeah... - We've just had too many damn blessings. - Maybe. Hello? Yeah, Kevin. Hi. Is he all right? Oh, thank God. - All right, yeah, come pick us up. We're still at his place. - Where is he? All right, bye. He's-a, he's in jail. Ah, in Oceanside. He was arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct. Dad left some serious problems with the company, beyond serious. You think you might have to shut it down? Maybe. Probably. I can't go into details. I can't even tell Joe. You know what they say at business school... almost all family businesses fail in successive generations. I mean... - if Ojai is already having problems... - Then we should kick it to the curb, according to our M.BA. That's the smart play. It's not that easy. Losing Ojai'd devastate my family. Come on, you have no idea what families can survive. Besides, you are not responsible for everything, Sarah. You always took on everybody else's problems. You could come back to North Light today. You are on the fast track. No, that place was eating up my life. I need to make time for Paige and Cooper, and Joe. Then, why do you seem more stressed out now than ever? I mean, at least before, you weren't in it alone. Noah, Tell me something, how can you feel so guilty... when nothing happened between us? Because being in sync with a man who is not your husband is almost as painful as not being in sync with your husband. Don't you ever miss looking forward to something? You know, picking out your shoes, your shirt for somebody...everyday. Don't you miss that? Sarah, is your hand bleeding? Oh God! Oh! I suck! - What? - Hawaii...my daughter is Hawaii. Noah, I'll call, OK? He needs to go into a treatment program again. I agree, even if it's outpatient. You know, a partner of mine just came back from Hazleton, Minnesota. I'm not sending my son to Minnesota. Very cold there this time of year. He needs some kind of professional help, Mom. I'm not saying he doesn't need help, Kevin, I'm just saying now's not the time to theorize about your poor brother as if he was some sort of case study. What needs to happen is we need to get down to this Oceanside place and get him out of jail, and take him home. Why didn't you tell me your father was going to insult him like that? Oh, what would you have done if you'd known? I don't know, we could've prepared him, we could've come up with a plan. As it is, you dropped it on him like a bomb. No wonder he's gone off and done something to himself. Are you serious? Yes! Yes, certainly I am. Do you ever stop and think that some of this could possibly be your fault? What? What? I was too permissive? No, no, no, no. I'm not talking about the liberal child-rearing sense, Mom. You blame everybody but yourself. You go out of your way, it's me, it's Kevin, it's Dad. Where were you in the picture? Do you ever think about that? I don't see any ocean out there. This is a terrible place to come to. Please! Please! Just one minute! One minute! It's for my little girl. Thank you so much. You're so kind. This must happen every night. Yeah, it's like "Sophie's Choice" in here. What do you need? I need a grass Hawaiian skirt for a hula. There's miriachis, which would be Mexico... Coconut cup? Closer... Ukelele...that's a good sign. Sorry. No, don't tell me that. Don't tell me that. Look, I'm sorry. They're weirdly popular. I can order you one. Yeah, yeah, why don't you do that? That'd be great, because then they'll get here, in what? 9 weeks? Which is just in time for my daughter's recital, which is tomorrow. It's the minimum basic requirement that a party store always have Hawaii. Children have recitals and their parents, their mothers, can't do it all and we rely on our party store to keep up their end of the bargain so that our husbands and our children don't despise us when we come home empty-handed. I'll buy the lei. He's really wrecked. Usually we like to let this kind dry out for the night in lock-up. It reinforces the point, you know? Sure, sure, We have driven all the way from Los Angeles. There's a motel nearby. See you in the a.m. Bring coffee. All right, thank you. Thanks. Hi. I'm Justin's mother and this is his big sister, Kitty. Kitty Walker, "The Right Idea" and "Red, White and Blue." - You're kidding. - No. You're her? Yeah, I am...me. Yes. I love your show. And we're not asking to be the exception here... Yes, we are. No, we're not. - Yes. - No, no. - Yes, we are. - No, we aren't. We are. All the girls came to get me, that's cool. Where's Sarah? - Kitty, he's sitting in the back with you. - No, seriously, thanks for bringing the whole family. I mean, my day wasn't bad enough. They were worried about you. Oh, you had the do the right thing, right? Because Kevin always does the right thing, except sleep with women. Justin, could you shut up for ten seconds? If you didn't want my help, why'd you ask? 'Cause I was in jail. I figured I should call the family lawyer. I mean, that's what you are, right? If your father could see this behavior! He'd what? Judge me? Tell me to get a job? He'd be so diappointed! Disappointed? Who the hell is he to be disappointed? He's the disappointment! What does that mean? Forget it. Your father loved you more than anything on Earth, you little spoiled brat! - You know what love means in this family? It means you suck! - Get in the car! It means nothing you do will be good enough! Oh, you ungrateful child! You don't care about anyone but yourself! How did you get that way? You know what losing your father has done to me and yet you take your life and throw it around like it was worthless! Why? 'Cause I wish I was dead. Don't you understand that! ? I wish I'd died over there, Mom! Well, you didn't die and I'll be damned if I'll stand around and watch you kill yourself. Enough. Enough, Mom. God. You guys are so freaking serious. Hey, sorry. - Hey. So late. Any word from Justin? - Yeah, he got arrested. Don't ask. He's fine. You almost missed grilled cheese night. I'm sorry, I've let us all down. They're out of grass skirts. They just sold the last one. These'll be great. Today is one of those days where everything you decide really, really, really matters. You....need something aside from grilled cheese. You need someone to say, "Congratulations!" What for? Your promotion. How did you know? A little bird on a wire. Oh... Hawaii. What am I gonna tell her? Hand...you need to see something great. What? Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Yay! Hey, Little Man. - Come on, come on, come on. - What's going on here? Have a seat, my lady. We are ready. I got the last one. She made me teach her this. I hate it when you dominate the remote. I'm curious if gay porn has gotten to Oceanside yet. You know, I stay in a lot of hotels. This is research for me. Here we go, "Thirty-Something Inches," only $10.95. Shall we? Come on, give me that. - Wait! Is that Jonathan? It is Jonathan! - Give it to me. He won't let me in. I just want to apologize. Why don't you stay here and I'll try and talk to him? Thanks. What the hell are we watching? Meerkats. These meerkats are wearing no clothes. Give me the clicker, now! OK, fine, but no cooking programs. Give me the clicker. She was just scared. I'm pretty frightening. He hated me, Kitty. Is that what you think? I could see it. Always the look of somebody who doesn't expect anything from you. Until all you do is disappoint him again and again, but he disappointed me, too. He loved you with all of his heart. They have to love you, it's their job. He just didn't know how to show it, to anyone. Well, he showed you. And yesterday, he showed me what he thought of me. Now he's dead...and I... You know, after you enlisted, he used to call me every day. You know, just to talk. And you know what he used to talk about? Justin stories. Great ones. He told me that out of all of his children, you were the only one who made him remember what being a kid was. You were the only one who could do that. Hmmm...he was so proud of you. C'mon, at age 60, you taught him to surf. He wasn't very good. Because of you, he was the only 70 year-old who appreciated "Death Cab... Curdle." Death Cab for Cutie. Close. Well, these are the things he would talk about when he called. I'd ask him how he was, and... these are the things he would say. You know what's nice about road trips? This is a road trip? They have these coffee shops that serve breakfast all night. You want? I want breakfast, all night. You wanted to know when the truck came in. How's it look? I had this little premonition some of it survived the journey... - I guess they didn't. - Gladys, call the insurance. Hey, thanks for telling Joe. What are you talking about? He bought me champagne last night. Champagne was his idea. The back half of the truck is all perfect. We got, like, ten tons of good fruit back there. Thanks. I guess some things can be saved, and some can't. Tell me, Tommy, I need to know. What would you do? I didn't go to business school. All I got is my gut. Right now, I trust your gut more than my M.BA. Sarah, what is it? Saul, I love what our family has built here, and I wanna keep it alive, not just for us, but for all the people who work here, people who trusted this family, who trusted this company. I have the number here of a U.S. Attorney. I'll do it your way, six months. But, at the end of six months, if we haven't found our way out of this, I will call him. OK. I forgot...the Pacific. - No other ocean has so many colors.É" - And look, you can see where the blues change. Black for you, white for you, black and white for you. One's fine. So, which route should we take back? The pretty or the fast? Fast! Pretty. I work for my dad, and I don't have much time for a social life. But the other day, I met a guy named Scott who owns this bar. I'm not here to flirt. What's gonna happen next? You gonna ask me to dinner? No, I... It's all right. I always get hit on when I wear this T-shirt. - Think my eyes are up here. - I wa... I-I... For the record, I wasn't looking. And the only reason I was in his bar is because our biggest client wants to buy it from him. So, I took Scott to dinner, but just to talk business. Okay, we got a little distracted. Meanwhile, there's this other guy from the office, Stephen. That's him. My dad would love it if I were with him. I mean, Stephen's a nice guy, but there's not a lot of passion between us. Back to Scott. Getting Scott to sell the bar wasn't going so well. This place has been in my familyfor 112 years. I promised by grandfather I'd come back and run it. So, the huge deal my dad had worked on for a year fell through. I'm not going to repeat what he's saying there. Let's just say my dad pretty much hates Scott. But I kind of like him. Enough to sneak out of work to do this. I got to tell you, you turned out to be a pretty good motorcycle passenger. Well, it involves two skills I'm good at-- sitting and not dying. Come on, give yourself more credit than that. You leaned with the turns, you didn't put your hands over my eyes and shout "Guess who?" Just that once. I got a little bored when you did that wheelie on the Williamsburg Bridge. Well... I guess I should go. Okay. - Bye. - Bye. Alex, fantastic news. Julian, hello. My upstairs neighbor. This is Scott. Well, this is awkward. Two people about to kiss, and I'm not one of them. Well, I have a tavern to get back to. Okay. - See ya. - See ya. I'm sorry if I ruined your moment there. Oh, that's okay. So, what's your big news? I stopped at Krispy Kreme donuts. That's it? . No, that's not it. The hot light was on. Feel these things. They're practically radioactive. Please, don't ask me for details about Scott. Oh, I'm not going to. He's totally wrong for me, he's unpredictable, and his neck smells better than that bag of donuts. Apparently your hot light is on, as well. But if you don't want to talk about it, I'm certainly not going to probe. I know you're a very private person... - Sit. - You are so easy. Would this be the same Scott you kissed the other day? The one your dad detests? Hmm, yep, that's the one. Sleeping with the enemy. I'm not sleeping with anyone. And such a shame. Like a Maserati up on blocks. Oh, it's my dad. When I left work today to sneak out with Scott, I told him I was coming down with something. Hey, Dad. Sorry my voice is all... Yeah, sure, I'll hold for him... Hey, Dad... Yeah, a little. Yeah, I know. A lot of fluids. Okay. I love you, too. Bye. Oh... I hate lying to my father. But I am good at it. Well, this is a new Alex. Bad Alex. Lying-and-sneaking-behind-your-father's-back Alex. I'm only sneaking around because there's nothing to tell him yet. Oh, right. Nothing to tell. What was all that stuff in the hallway, then? You two were undressing each other with your eyes. Were not. Come on, you did such a thorough job of it I could see you both naked. By the way, he has love handles. Not from my angle. Look at me, I'm like a giddy schoolgirl. And over what? One kiss. What's one kiss? I'll tell you. Paris. I was an art student. She was a sculptress. After one kiss, I was hopelessly in love. Oh, I didn't know you were so romantic. Yeah, well, the French bitch cured me of that pretty quickly. She dumped me after the second date. Maybe I am getting a little ahead of myself here. For all I know, he takes every girl he meets on a motorcycle ride. Before you stick your neck out any further, you might want to find out exactly where you stand with him. - Oh, great, now I'm all nervous. - Don't be. No man would invite you on his motorcycle unless he's ready to make a commitment. You expect me to believe that? No, but you made lying look like so much fun, I thought I'd give it a whack. So, um, I'm going upstairs to throw out all my booze and not eat these donuts. Yeah, it is fun. Morning. Oh, my God, I got flowers. They're on my desk and you assume they're for you? Oh, I'm so sorry. They're for you. Hmm... I wonder who they're from. I wasn't even going to ask. I know how much you value your privacy. It's not signed. It just says, "Had a great time." - Molly. - What? Are you seeing someone? Someone I don't know about? How am I going to help you cover it up if I don't know what you're hiding? I've got nothing to hide. But let's not mention these to my father. Or anyone who might tell my father, like... him. - Hey, Alex. - Hey, Stephen. Alex? One second. Um... oh. Come in. Hey, Stephen. - How are you? - Good. I just wanted to say I had a really great time with you the other night... - on our date. - Me, too. Hey, did you get the flowers I sent? You sent. Of course. Thank you so much. I love them. Um, then why are they in the trash? Can I be totally honest with you? Molly put them in there. She's a little bitter. Listen, I know it was just one date, and I don't want you to attach too much meaning to the flowers. Apparently, that's not a problem. Anyway, I was just wondering if, hopefully, there might be another opportunity to.... Well, someone is popular today. Check it out. These flowers kick those flowers' ass. You want to know who they're from? - Yeah. - No. "Congratulations, you've been named "to Manhattan Monthly's 'Ten Most Eligible' list, a who's who of the city's most datable professionals." I'm so excited for you. She doesn't seem that bitter. They are going to interview you and everything. Oh, you're gonna have your pick of any man in Manhattan. You know, I'm just... think I'm gonna... Okay. You are gonna have so many guys calling you. Can I have your leftovers? Molly, men aren't Chinese food. You can't just heat them up the next day. I'll take 'em cold. Hello, Alex. Oh, hi. You came to see me... Mr. Larson. What brings you here? Uh, a peace offering for your dad. I know he's ticked off 'cause I screwed up his real estate deal, so I brought you all some of our tavern's famous corned beef sandwiches. Mm. Yummy. That's very considerate of you. Can I see you in my office, please? Should I come in and take notes? - No. - Please? Can I come in and... Right, get back to my own work, that's what I'll do. You look great. Nice flowers. Oh, those. Yeah... Funny story. Um, Manhattan Monthly has named me one of their Ten Most Eligible Singles. They're going to do an article. Cool. Is it? What? Cool. That I'm on the list. Well, I can't say I'm surprised. You made my top ten. Just squeaked in there. Well, I don't even know if I'm going to do it. Why wouldn't you? I have my reasons. So don't do it, then. So, you don't think I should do it? Alex, are you asking my permission? No. Why would I need to do that? It's not like we're... It was one date. One motorcycle ride. 'Cause I'm really not the possessive type. Good. 'Cause I'm not really... a possession. Can I see you tonight? Yeah, I'd like that. Oh, no, not tonight. I've got to prepare for a deposition. Tomorrow night? - Tomorrow's tough. - Working at the tavern? No, I, uh... I've kind of got a date. Really? Not a date date. It's a blind date. It was set up a week ago. Oh, fun. Unless you don't want me to go. Are you asking my permission? No, - you-you just seem like you... - No, no. Go. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. Okay. Good. - Good. - Good. Look, take a break from work later, come visit me. You gotta eat. Maybe I will. What the hell are you doing here? Dad, Scott brought these sandwiches over as a little peace offering. You know, for screwing up your deal. Wasn't that nice? Well, let's see... Sandwiches... millions of dollars. Sandwiches, millions of dollars... He also brought pickles. Our biggest client just fired us because that deal fell through, thanks to this idiot. Hey, you know, there's no need for name calling. This is my place of business, pal. I can call you Roberta if I want to. - What the hell is that? - My cell phone. Listen to that. Even his phone ring pisses me off. I want you out of here. And from now on, I don't want anybody going to his tavern, I don't want anybody eating his food. Spit that out, Johnson. I brought this from home, sir. I said spit it out. I think he meant into a napkin. - I'm going to go. - Good. And take these lousy sandwiches with you. Those are my gym clothes, sir. I'm really glad we could have dinner. Me, too. You okay? You seem a little nervous. No, I'm not nervous. Just a little hopped up from the pepper shrimp. Alex, I get it. You're afraid someone will see us together and tell your father. I'm not afraid. It's just there's nothing to tell him. Okay. But I can tell my friends about you, right? Tell them what exactly? What, are you kidding? I kissed one of Manhattan's Ten Most Eligible Singles. That's only happened to me, like, three or four times. Hey, let's walk this way. What? I think I see the mail-room guy from my office. Sorry, I just feel like everyone's staring at us. Oh, come on. Who'd check out some gorgeous hottie walking down the street? - Thanks. - I was talking about me. Alex... there's no reason to get paranoid. But just to be on the safe side... - What? - Just go with me on this. Who was that? No idea. I'm really starting to like this hiding thing. - Don't answer it. - Not planning on it. I have to answer it. It's my assistant. Hey, Molly. Okay, calm down. I'm on my way. I have to go sign some contracts that were dropped off at my apartment by mistake. Can we pick this up a little later? It's not like I'm a faucet. You can't just turn me on and off. Step. Step. We're just going in there to pick up some documents. Fine. - And make out a little. - Works for me. Surprise! Scott, this is everybody. Everybody, you all know Scott-- the enemy. Molly... you did all this for me? Thank you for coming, everybody. I'm gonna kill you. I'm sorry. It's not every day my boss is chosen to be in a magazine. Is he a good kisser? - Oh, my God. Where's my dad? - Oh, he's running a little late. Would it be horrible if you just went and, uh, hung out in the kitchen for a little while? Then I can distract my dad somehow and... Alex, I got to tell you-- hiding's really not my thing. Could it be your thing for, like, five minutes? All right, but I'm making a sandwich, I'm not cleaning up. Oh, excuse me, everyone, everyone. Um, my dad doesn't know about me and Scott, so let's not tell him, okay? Not that there's anything to hide. It was, like, one motorcycle ride. It's always the motorcycle guys. Hey, honey. Oh, the traffic. Yeah, what are you gonna do? Hummus? I wanted to see the look on your face. Stephen... did you get it on tape? Dad, Dad-- you don't need to see the tape. Here's how it went. Surprise! Oh, my God. This is so sweet. Ooh, hummus. Was that cute or what? Let's take a look at the tape. Sir, uh, turns out the camera's broken. Sometimes the things you think are going to work don't work out at all. Son, it's a party-- lighten up. Whoa, where you going? Where you going? Where you going? - I little wine, if you don't mind. - Oh, here's one. Here you go. Julian... why don't you show my dad that new sketch you did for me? You know, the one in my bedroom. Oh, yes, perhaps you can help me name it. I'm torn between "Lame Excuse" and "Transparent Distraction." Julian, just give me a second, okay? First of all, I'd like to make a little toast, everybody, okay? It seems that some magazine decided that my daughter is a great catch. I don't need a magazine to tell me how great she is-- she's beautiful, she's bright-- I'm damn proud of her. - Hear hear. - Not done, Johnson. Sh. He is not done. Alex, I just want you to know that I couldn't be more happy if you'd find a nice fellow out there, someone who cares about you half as much as your old man. He's out there somewhere. Hey, I know that ring. Why do I know that... ring? What the hell are you doing here? Okay, Dad, first-- I loved your toast. Yeah, I heard it through the door. Very moving, sir. Is there something going on between you two? Oh, well, this is just great! That didn't go so well. I'm not pointing any fingers, but do you ever put that thing on vibrate? - Good morning. - Yeah, right. Dad, Dad, Dad. Come on. We can either discuss this as adults, or you can act like a child. "...or you can act like a child." Which is it gonna be? - Hi. - Hi. - Ike Cortez. Manhattan Monthly. - Alex Rose. Well, let's dive on in. Feel free to ask me anything. Great. Okay, first question. You work for your dad. Does that ever get awkward? No. Never. Next question. If there's one guy Alex Rose could date right now, who would it be? Don't you have anything on there about hobbies or something? I don't care if you're seeing him! I just want to know what's going on. Really? You don't care if I'm seeing him? Well, of course I care, but I can't come barging in here yelling "I have mixed feelings!" - Wait a minute, you're seeing someone? - Who is this? Dad, this is the reporter from Manhattan Monthly. - Ike, this is my dad. - Whatever. Honey, look, what I don't understand is what you see in this guy Scott. You deserve somebody better than that. Someone like, like... like you. Excuse me. I really need to ask you a question. No, no. No more questions. I need to talk to my daughter. - Are you eligible or not? - Answer that question. Dad, I really want to talk to you about this, but not in front of him. Could you give us, like, five minutes? Molly has muffins. And she's very eligible. Yeah, she told me. Look, last night you said that nothing would make you happier than if I found the right guy. And you think Scott's the right guy? No. I don't know. It was just one motorcycle ride. That's it? A motorcycle ride and a kiss. And a kiss? That's not what Johnson saw at the party. Yeah, believe it or not, he cracked. The point is, it's not serious. Like, Scott's going on a blind date tonight, with someone else. He's stepping out on you already? I'm gonna kill him. That's the point. There's nothing to step out on. Oh, good. Not yet, anyway. Not yet? ! Look, I know you don't like him, but he's the first guy in a long time that I actually have fun with. Fun? Honey, trust me. Fun doesn't last. My third wife-- a barrel of monkeys. Dad, it's more than that. It's like I feel like there's a connection. Oh, dear God. I'm not saying I know what it is, but I'd like to keep just seeing him and find out. What's to find out, honey? He's brash, he's rude... He's rude? You called him an idiot. And Roberta. Sweetheart, sometimes I just get worked up, because I care about you so much. I know you do, Dad. Will you do me a favor? When this magazine comes out and you get all these offers, will you just test the waters a little bit before you settle on... Roberta? Well, my dad's talking to me again. That's great. He must be happy you're still going to be on that Ten Most Eligible list. Yeah, about that. I'm not gonna be on that list. - What, you got bumped? - No. Mm, they, uh, found a girl with better hobbies. Would you quit? No. I decided not to be on that list. Because... Well, just because. Don't feel like you have to cancel your blind date. I'm not going on that date. - Oh, what, she blew you off? - No. Right. She saw your picture, huh? I just didn't feel like going out tonight. With her. Great. Yeah. See wanna have dinner tonight? Yeah I'd like that. All right, this is perfect. Johnson? The corned beef here is addictive. Look, I won't tell your dad I saw you here if you don't tell you saw me. You can tell him whatever you want. Can you hear that? - I can't hear anything. - exactly. - I told you it wouId be different. - City life. - Seen it, done it, bought the T-shirt. - You won't get bored with a life of fresh air and bird-watching and jam-making? Not with you by my side, Joyce HazIedine. Ah. Three-nine-nine-eight-five? You got yourself a bargain, Joyce. Pam Draper. welcome to little Stempington. Oh, sorry. How d'you know about us? health club database. You're down as potential new members, Joyce. It's like a tardis in here. - Ah, one of the natives at last. - Pam Draper. pleased to meet you. There's some olive tapenade, walnut bread, few organic eggs. - I'm really touched. - You'd never get this in the metropolis. And I imagine you'II find policing a place like little Stempington a Iot easier, too, once you get started. Ah, very observant. Excuse me. hello. That's a strong grip. You must be Joyce's personal trainer. You ladies of little Stempington are a friendly lot, aren't you? hello, Joyce. hilary Davenport. welcome to little Stempington. - We've done that bit, hilary. - Oh, Pam. What a nice surprise. As I was saying, you were lucky to get one on the south-facing side of the close. - They go quicker than The mail On Sunday. - Any chance of using the little girls' room? Oh, er, top of the stairs, first right. Mind if I come, too, hilly, love? - What are you doing here, Pam? - Just welcoming the new girl. Oh, I thought you had Weight Watchers on Tuesday morning. And to think, you were worried about making friends. Oh! Uh. There just seems to be so much more community spirit here. - Everything OK up there, ladies? - (Choking) Fine, thanks, Jerry. - Joyce won't be joining you. - CamiIIa says otherwise. I don't give a fuck what your handler thinks. So take your basket of shit and go back to your kennel. - Likewise. - Oh! Now, if any of your crew so much as fart in the same room as Joyce, we'II turn the lot of you into organic mince. Nice big airing cupboard you've got up there. Is Pam OK? pelvic floor gave up the ghost after baby number five. Didn't manage to make it to the bathroom. - Oh. - Sends her apologies. Oh, you poor love. I know how fond you are of that trouser suit. Margaret. I thought I couId show you round little Stempington. I haven't really started unpacking. There's someone I'm dying for you to meet. - What about supper? - Don't worry about me. I'II have a fiddle in the shed. We'II get a takeaway later. He's weII-buiIt, your Jeremy. Bet things can get quite rough when you two play hunt the hairy hot dog. Joyce, at last. camilla Diamond. LiIIian Gordon-Moore. I Iike your sweater, Joyce. - Oh. - I'm fond of cats myself. The Wicker Barn, lillian. Pronto. The old town was built in 1647 and I think some of the residents can remember back that far. - Oh, the cricket green looks lovely. - Ah, yes. My husband Stuart plays. He's a very aggressive bowler but very frisky afterwards. You can get everything you need from this one parade of shops. shirley Thompson flowers. Bit low rent. Uses her own excrement to fertilise the pot plants but I can get you a discount on everything except shrubs. And what have we here? Ah, yes. The Wicker Barn. Mm. Used to sell gorgeous, hessian pIacemats. - till it tragically burnt down. - It looks fine to me. hold this and press that little red button, would you, Joyce? Looks like they're closing early tonight. Next time you miss a payment, ladies, we'II bury you alive in matching wicker coffins. Am I dreaming this? What do you think, hilary? Is Joyce dreaming? Were you on the receiving end of cunnilingus from Robert KiIroy silk, Joyce? You...you just blew up The Wicker Barn. technically, Joyce, it was actually you who blew it up. I, I... That's it, Joyce. Let it all out. Those women could have been killed. Goodness me, no. LiIIian can blow the door off a Smeg fridge without so much as damaging an organic vine tomato. Why? Why did you do it? Let me ask you a simple question, Joyce. Why did you move to little Stempington? Jeremy was posted here and, can't quite believe I'm saying this now, but... Yes? When we came to look around, I fell in love with the place. Oh. Because it's clean? Because there's no graffiti? Because there are no delinquent teenagers sniffing toilet Duck in the arcade? And how d'you think it stays that way? Ooh, hello, Wendy, love. Is that a My little Pony lunch box? Pop in the back and sit next to Auntie MiIIie, darling. You see, now your fingerprints are all over this little box, Joyce, you're the prime... No, you're the only suspect in that nasty little business back at The Wicker Barn. This is ridiculous. Oh, gosh, you don't want Jeremy's first day in the job to involve sending you to the cIick-cIink for the next ten years, do you? I wouldn't want to be separated from my husband if he had buns like that. - Why are you doing this to me? - That's not important. What is important, however, is that you tell no one. That was the mistake that Jeremy's predecessor made. I'II be in touch. - Nice bunch? - Mm. (Man on radio) A suspected gas explosion wrought havoc in Little Stempington. No one was hurt in The Wicker Barn but fire officers are counting occupants lucky. Got a space for you right here, Mrs HazIedine. How do you know my name? And isn't that a disabled parking space? Don't you worry about them. Most of them are faking it, especially the ones in shopping scooters. I make 'em park round the back. Do that again and I'II piss in your petrol tank! Nobody hoots at Mrs HazIedine, you fucking fuck. Now take your ration book and fuck off home! It's quite all right. I am holding up the traffic. Under control, Mrs HazIedine. When you've finished, give me a shout and I'II have someone load your car. Good morning, Mrs HazIedine. Peter Astbury, store manager. And this is douglas, your personal shopper for today. That'II be £8.50, please, Mrs HazIedine. There must be some mistake. Oh, er, I'm sorry, er, that's er, 5... £4.20. Just £4. I'm very sorry. There's about £70 worth of shopping here. Very reasonable in here, don't you think, Joyce? Are you all right? Oh, I thought I'd walk to the supermarket today for a change and somehow twisted my ankle. - It looks nasty. - I'II be fine. I only live about four miles away. Four miles? You can't walk on that. Let me drive you. Oh. I couldn't impose. Ooh! Ooh. well, maybe some of the way if it's not too much trouble. - Come on. - Oh, how kind. Barbara. Barbara du Prez. Joyce HazIedine. pleased to meet you, Joyce. I know most of the faces around here but yours doesn't look very familiar. - We've only just moved here. - Ah. How do you find little Stempington? Oh, you know. Doesn't sound like you're enamoured yet. - Not exactly. - I felt exactly the same before HRT. No, no, you don't understand. Oh, you poor dear. Sorry. I don't usually burst into tears in front of perfect strangers. Don't mind me, Joyce. I've worked the Samaritans' Christmas bazaar. I know misery loves company. I just feel so alone. Listen, I was actually on my way to a coffee morning. A really nice crowd. Why don't you come along? Thank you. well, well, if it isn't Miss marple herself. I thought I couId smell cat piss. Looks like we're going to have to up the ante. - DeIphiniums are looking good, Margaret. - Thanks, Barb. This way, Joyce. Come along. Quiet as you can. Baby asleep upstairs. - Joyce, hi. - Pam. - Oh, my God. What happened? - Oh, yoga. You left so quickly the other day. Is everything... OK? Erm, fine. you could fit a whole salmon into this one. I Iove the coIour-coordinated Iids. I think we've got just the thing for you in here, Joyce. Beretta nine-miIIimetre. Good, solid pistol. Squeeze off a full clip and you can stop a Fiat Panda at 50 yards. - feel it. This can't be happening to me. Better put the kettle on, Pam. And bring in one of Margaret's home-made Swiss logs. Joyce needs a sugar infusion. Have a sip of tea, Joyce. - Is camilla here? - That bitch? That's enough, Pam. I can imagine some of the things you're thinking, Joyce. To an outsider, all this must seem pretty strange. But before you judge us, there are some things you should know. Once upon a time, there was a woman who was kind and courteous to everyone. But there was one person of whom she was especially fond. Me. Between them, the two friends saw the good in everyone until one day, when something very, very bad happened. It was a horrific experience. But bizarrely, the two friends discovered that what doesn't kill you sometimes makes you stronger. So they made a pact that they would do their best to ensure the streets of Little Stempington would never again be the target of lowlife lawbreaking scum. And once they started, they realised they actually quite enjoyed it. So they did it again and again. But then it all went wrong. Camilla got greedy and she wasn't the only one. She crossed over to the dark side, taking Hilary and Lillian with her. And ever since then, it's been our mission to stop her. Good can't live in the same town as evil, Joyce. - well, why don't you go to the police? - CamiIIa got there first. Jeremy said he died in a car crash. When he suddenly developed a conscience, camilla arranged a little road accident. - Once she's got you she's got Jeremy. Once he's got him, she's got all of little Stempington. - Does the whole town know about this? - No. But those who do are too frightened to talk. I haven't told you about The Wicker Barn. God's sake, get down, Joyce. Ah! Oh, God, I'm sorry. I'm pissing blood all over Margaret's new rug. - It's Scotchgard protected. - Better answer that, Joyce. You might want to move the Panda, Joyce. We've decided to issue a little warning. You could help us take her down, Joyce. - How? - We've never had anyone on the inside. Think about it. That's all I ask. - You should go now. (Pam) Welcome to Little Stempington. (Hilary) Hello, Joyce. - ..someone I'm dying for you to meet. Joyce, at last. Hold this and press that little red button, would you, Joyce? You're the only suspect in that nasty little business back at The Wicker Barn. (Hilary) I wouldn't want to be separated from my husband if he had buns like that. (Camilla) You don't want Jeremy's first day in the job to involve sending you to the click-clink for the next ten years, do you...do you...do you? - They made me do it. - Too late for excuses, Joyce. darling, please. I'm afraid... I'm gonna have to take you straight upstairs for questioning. This place is gonna be so good for us. Oh... yeah. Just a sec. Oh, my God. Oh... hey. Everything all right in here? Yeah, it's great. You sure? Yeah. All right. Your old man pissed the bed Again. Cool. I, uh... was thinking of maybe taking a Shit on the floor. That's great. Great. See you later. Maybe I'll just puke on the Couch. Decisions, decisions. Hey. Hey, Tommy. How you doing? How's it hanging man? Hanging all right. Who's that talking to my proble Over there? Oh, that's rocko, man. He's off to iraq next week. Can you believe that? Yeah? Brave kid, huh? Yeah, brave or stupid. One of the other. How's, uh, how's your proble? He's all right, why? Just asking. Yeah, yeah. Just asking. I've known you long enough to Know that just asking means Anything but. I'll tell you what, he's a Complete idiot, but he's our Complete idiot, all right? OK, got you. OK, OK, what's the nut on the Game, man? What do you want to do, like, 50 bucks a head? 400 bucks to the winning team? You got it. All right. Let's get it on, man. Yeah, let's get it on. What is this, 1977? '77, '78, you're gonna get Yours. Big time. All right, guys. You know the rules. 2 points in the bucket, 3 points If you hit the bottle, all Right? I want to just tell you right Now, I want a round of applause Here for rocko. He's going to iraq next week to Fight for our freedom, all Right? Now, before he goes, let's Give him one last gift. A little, good old fashioned American ass kicking. Here we go. Probie, let's go! Hey, watch the ball, man. Watch the ball. Watch the probie. Yeah, you know rocko's going Over there because it's for Freedom. You know that. Yeah, I understand. And your proble... yeah? He wants a transfer, and it Is his God given right, man. Yeah! Yeah! What's going on? Huh? You banging that guy? What, I'm just being Friendly. Yeah? Be friendly with somebody on Your own team, OK? Let's all sit down. Ow! Nice shot, nice shot. Hey, these guys get the rink In 5 minutes. All right. 5 minutes. Next goal wins, OK? All right. Yeah! Good stuff. What do you got for me? Here. 400. Good game, man. Thank you. By the way, I meant what I said About my proble. Yeah, well. So did I. Yeah. Hands off. Do me a favor. What's that? 200. Will you give that to rocko for His trip. Yeah. Thank you, man. You're welcome. That's great. Rematch next week? Yeah. Oh, hey, Tommy. Yeah. Bite me, man. * on another day, Come on, come on, With these ropes I tied, Can we do no wrong? Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone, Things were good When we were young, With my teeth locked down I can see the blood Of a thousand men Who have come and gone, Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone, Things were good When we were young, Is it safe to say? Come on, come on, Was it right to leave? Come on, come on, Will I ever learn? Come on, come on, Come on, come on, Come on, come on * Captioning made possible by Sony pictures television Hey, did we win? Yeah. 200 dinero. Yeah 200. 200 dineros. Daddy, way to go. Yeah. Yeah, daddy. That's what I'm talking about. Hey, probie. Nice hustle out there today. Thanks. I need some ibuprofen. You guys got any? That's interesting. I got a whole giant bottle of Ibuprofen. It's just sitting in my locker Waiting to be taken. Really? Can I have some? No. It's for me and my friends. OK, can we be friends again? No, you broke up with me. I'm sorry. It's not that easy for me to Recover. Come on, Tom, I'm In pain here. I'm in pain, too, OK? Emotional pain. Really? Yeah. I was very, very hurt. I'm kidding. Brown, take the brown ones. Don't take the white ones or the Red ones. Why brown? Because brown is the Ibuprofen. The red and the white ones are Left over from when I was Seriously addicted to pills. Well, why didn't you just Throw them away? Because I'm sentimental. About pills? Sarcasm. All right, so, uh, the red, Right? Brown. Brown. Gonna take the brown. Tell me he's not color blind. I hope not. Are you sure there's not Anything I can do? Honey, come on, look. You handle the kids, right? You drive them to And from school. You take them to their games. You do their laundry. Well, actually, lately, you Do the laundry. Yeah, right, but you know, You take care of everything Else. I feel guilty being at work all Day long while you're here doing Things. I mean, the cooking's the least I can do. Besides, I enjoy cooking For you guys. You know, how the hell you And Tommy came from the same House. I don't know. That's beyond me. You're always on time. You come straight home from Work. And I never have to wonder where You are or what you're up to. What do you say, half a Cupcake for katy? Huh? She's been real good at her Homework lately. Yeah, OK. OK. Oh, yay. What's the capital of Massachusetts? Boston. Connecticut? Hartford. California? Sacramento. You're a smart one, huh? There you go. Listen. Mm-Hmm? I got about 10 minutes left On my chicken and potatoes. I'm gonna go upstairs and talk To colleen about what happened In school today. You know, it is so not OK to Slap your classmate in the Middle of class. I'll handle it. She's out of control. Hey, I'll handle it. I like uncle Johnny. He's so nice. He never gets mad. He never yells at us. And he never does that thing That daddy does where he would Say something and then, like, a Few seconds later, he'd have to Explain that he didn't mean what He just said. Oh, you mean sarcasm. Yep. That's it. Mm-Hmm. Yeah. Daddy's funny that way. Between the smokin' can and The street hockey take, we got Almost 2 grand here. It's unbelievable. Why don't we call a truce, OK? We all quit smoking anyway, so Why don't we call a truce and Buy something we really need. New ipod. How about a boom box. Come on, a new microwave. That oven is so old, it's Leaking microwaves when it's not Even on. Pretty soon we're all gonna be Growing an extra cock and a pair Of tits. Look at me, come on. I'm halfway there. An ipod can hold 35,000 Songs. 35,000 puerto rican Hip-Hop songs. Hey. Will you please get me a Little garlic out of the fridge, Too, please? Batting cage. Batting cage. I'm just throwing those two Words out. If we get a batting cage, we win The department softball Tournament every goddamn summer. I guarantee it. Yeah, we need music. I need a bra. Hey, how about a couple new Halligans and maybe that new saw We were all bitchin' about the City not getting for us Last week? I feel like a million bucks, Man. Thanks for that ibuprofen. That stuff's like a wonder drug, You know? They should make you take it Every morning. Vitamin I. Half an hour ago, I couldn't Walk now I feel fantastic. Hey, Jesus. Look at all this money. How much is that? 2 grand. Know what we should get? A batting cage. Shoot me. Well, come on. We dominated the department Softball league every summer. Great minds. Just got a call from an Inside source. Due to recent bad press, Vis-A-Vis, the sex scandal from That firehouse downtown, they're Sending over a crew to Confiscate all the dirty Magazines, pornographic tapes, Dvds, as well as the computers That might contain traces of Pornographic websites. Magazines? Yeah, playboy, perfect 10. Everything. This is bullshit, Chief. That's what the department's Come to, Tom. Bunch of micro-Managing, Bullshit bean counters. Showing up out of the blue. Pricks. Call me when The meal's on. All right, Chief. Unbelievable. This is what they're going to Waste their time on. That's my copy. Give me that. That's mine. This is so sad. Really sad. You're right. It's... sad. We've reduced ourselves To animals. That's what we are. Yeah, a bunch of dumb ass, Animal house frat boys. Morons. Morons might be a bit harsh. No. Morons is right. Cause all of the porno tapes, The dvds, are up in the Bunk room. Son of a bitch. What in the hell happened To him? Man, he must have taken the White pills. The sleeping pills. He's totally dead to the World. What kind were they? Somunall. Somunall? Goddamn, Tommy. Those are the pills that have Been in the newspaper. I know, I know. What are you talking about? People sleepwalk on those Pills. They sleepwalk, they sleepdrive, They sleepeat. There's a woman on the news Talking about how she gained 100 Pounds while she was on weight Watchers cause every night, Unbeknownst to her, she'd Sleepwalk down to the kitchen And sleepeat her way through 2 Bags of oreos, 4 pints of Haagen-Dazs and a dozen donuts. What about sleepfoodshopping. Talking about pointing the wrong Finger. Why do you still have the Pills if you don't take them Anymore? Duh. I'm a junkie, OK? But you quit now, right? Yeah, but in case I had a Relapse, I didn't want to have To go... searching for the pills. I was, I was planning ahead. Oh, yeah, for the bender that AA is supposed to stop you from Having. Nice cult you joined, by the Way. Look, sleepwalking is the Least of our problems. He took 4. He's gonna be sleeping till, you Know... we gotta get him out of here Before the Chief sees him, all Right? And make sure he hasn't drowned In my spinach dip. You wanna have some? You're kidding me, right? Come on. I make a good, goddamn Spinach dip. That's ridiculous. You got pills, I got dip. OK, let's get him up. Probie, get his legs. Got it. Jesus Christ. Get him, get him, get him, Get him. Oh... come on. Watch his head. Watch it. Got him? Watch his head, mcmahon. Jesus, Garrity. You know something, why don't You tie your shoes, you know? Here we go. Watch it. He's out. Mikey, go get something to Clean up his puss, will you? All right. Get paper towels or something To wipe... actually, get a rag and Wet it down, OK? This is what you're planning Ahead for, huh? Franco, you got a rag over there Or something? Franco, get away from that Porno. I'm just, I'm taking what's Mine. Oh, yeah. Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. Yeah. Forrest hump. Mine. King schlong. Mine. King schlong's mine actually. No, you brought in King dong. Ah, right. It sucked, by the way. All the girls had skeeter bites For tits. That's because they're real Tits, Franco. That's what real tits look like, OK? Johnny giant fake boob. Yeah, well, excuse me for Being an American, OK? I like to suck on big tits. Now it's a political issue? I'm a terrorist because I like Real tits? It's political, what are you Talking about? What about the sad fags? What sad fags? Guys, guys. Are we actually arguing about Tits, come on. Ladder. Batallion. You know what, guys. I know this address. My cousin's a sculptor. He used to have a studio in this Place. It's like a whole warehouse. It's divided up into, like a Million, tiny little rooms. Just keep your head straight Cause you get lost in there, it Can get real confusing real Fast, you know? You got a cousin who's a Sculptor? Yeah, every family's got a Black sheep. Most families get, like, a Retard, or a guy that likes to Wear dresses, we got a sculptor. Yeah, retard, sculptor. Same thing really. Yeah, there was a retard Sculptor. 60 minutes did a piece on him I Think. Yeah. Really brilliant work. And he was real quick, too. He'd make like one or two Statues a day. Only one problem though. What was that? He liked the taste of clay. So you're saying... yeah, he'd eat his own work. Goddamn, what a waste. Not really, you know every Time he took a shit, genius. Ah, Lou. T, you and the probie go down That way, Franco and I are gonna Head this way. What'd they say, 5 people on This floor? I said 5, 5. Whoa. Got it, frank? Yeah. Anybody in here, anybody Hear me? Anybody in here? It's down here, Franco. All right. You all right? Oh... you OK? Yeah, I lost my goddamn hook. You got it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go in. You all right? Yeah. Yeah. What do we do now? It's got to be north. Window's on the north side. Go, it's jammed. I can't see shit in here. Me, neither. Grab a wall. All right. What you got in there, Lou? I got nothing. Shit! Shit! Shit! Lou! I'm sinking! Shit! Probie! I think she's OK. Grab her. All right. T, guy's gone. The kid. The kid's still got a chance. OK. Hey, hurry. Yeah. We're stuck. Where? We're in a room off the Hallway we went down. We're losing air time. You gotta hurry. OK. I'm on my way, I'm on my way. Yo, grab him. Lou, where are you guys? We're in a room across the Hallway, t. It should be facing north. The windows face north. Turn on the pass alarm. All right. I got you. T, hurry! We're almost out of air. Lou. Hey. This way, guys. Take my spot. Take my spot. You all right? Shit. I can't find my axe. I got it. That's a problem. Hey, what happened? I tried getting through on the Radio. Everything all right? Yeah, yeah. Where the hell is Garrity? He never left the house. It's a long story, Chief. Tom? It's a mess. A goddamn mess. Goddamn doors everywhere. Everybody get out? Yeah. 2 dead. Right. Any kids? No, why? Checking. You all right? Yeah, that was fun, huh? Oh, yeah. Next best thing to having sex, Right? Shoulder's killing me, man. Hey, I've been meaning to ask You. How's Keela? Ah, you know, they're in Disneyland for 10 days. I'm gonna see her when she Gets back. Right, right. I guess that's better than Nothing, right? Can you do me a favor? Can you doublecheck on Lou cause I'm worried about him. Yeah. I'll take care of this shit. All right. Hey, man. You wanna grab a beer after Work? I gotta go see my uncle red. Oh, yeah. How's he doing? Face cancer. Spread to his balls. How did that happen? Sucking his own cock. Too much. Sorry about tonight, frankie. Oh, hey, man. Don't even sweat it, you know What I mean. At least you had an idea. I didn't know which goddamn way To go. Yeah. You know, Lou, you know when I get stuck like that, there's Only two people who's lead I'd Follow in a heartbeat. That's you and Tommy. You've saved my ass, goddamn I Don't even know how many times. So tonight you didn't. Yeah. That's all you gotta say, Is yeah? Uh-Huh? No sweat, man. Hey, buddy. Where's the mustard? Thanks very much. You know something, pal? You got to lose, like, 75 pounds. Seriously, bro. If I got to pull you out of a Fire, it's gonna be awful slow Going. Juice. Hey, lady. Wow, that's a really ugly baby. I mean, I'm sure she's gonna Grow up to be a very gorgeous Person one day, but there's no Reason why should be showing her Off in public anytime soon. OK, bye bye. Sir. Sir! Yes? You have to pay. No, no. It's OK. I'm a fireman. With 62 truck. We already don't get paid enough As it is. And God forbid this store catch On fire, I would be the one to Run in here and save all of you. So, I mean, I think The least that you can do is Offer me some free food, you Know, as reward. OK, and buddy, that comb over, It's not fooling anyone. Good luck, God bless. Good night, new York. Hey, what's up, man? This your car? Yeah, it's cool, right? Sorry? The car. It's cool, right? You know what color that is? Copper. Hey, what you Writing there? A ticket. Wow. You can write those? Yeah. Do me a favor. Will you write me 2 tickets to The u2 concert at the garden? I love u2. 2. My mom and my sister. My mom loves Bono because of the Whole world hunger thing. Actually, my mom's... will you Write us 12? 12 tickets? What? Whoa, hey. Cool gun. Put your hands behind your Head. Oh, my God. I got a, uh, Jesus, I don't Know what else to call it. A zombie over here. Hey, I'll call you tomorrow, Bro. Take some candy. They're giving it away. I never heard you guys so Quiet. What the hell happened in there? Nothing. It was a little messy, That's all. What the hell? Who are you? You bill? No, no I'm not bill. Oh, you must be otis. Otis? Who the hell is otis? Goddamn it, Sean. You're nacho. That's right, asshole. Who the hell was that? I think that was my new Boyfriend. What's going on, officer? A man wearing a tee-Shirt That had a ladder 62 FDNY logo On it doubleparked over at the Supermarket, and he, uh, I don't Know how else to say this, he Looked like, uh, like a zombie. A zombie. He stole food and candy. He was really scary. And he told me, told me I should Lose weight. He called my baby ugly. What he say to you? He made fun of my hair. Of course I've thought about it. It's all I think about! - Really? - Yeah. Or have you just thought about yourself? Do you think that this is good for him? That kid is gonna hate us if he has to grow up listening to us fight all day long. So that's it, then. What about me? - Am I just so easy to walk away from? - Lisa, I love you. Don't you fucking say that to me! You have no idea what love is, Chris! Lisa. Listen. We have a problem and we have to face it. Oh, you're right, Chris. You are absolutely right. Get the fuck out, you fucking asshole! You know what? If you want to go, go. I release you. Go be free. But don't you ever expect to see me or your child ever again, ever! Lisa, stop it. Jesus, stop it. Just go. Please. Go. - You're staying at a motel? - No, it's a hotel. And it's really very nice. They've got a gym... Come on, Mom. Please. This is ridiculous. It's what I chose to do. I'm going to find a place soon. - And you really think you can start over? - You mean at my age? - Yes, yes I do. - I'm still breathing, aren't I? I'm still here. It's a long time ago. Daddy'll understand. No, that's... That's not the point of this. You've been together since college. Yup. And do you know how miserable I've been almost the whole time? - I don't think that's true. - Well, I've just kept it from you. Yeah, trust me, Mom, you're not that good at hiding your emotions. Really? I'm sorry. You make this difficult because you want it that way. Men are easy. And you've been with Michael, what, - three years, right? - Yeah. And it took me less than half an hour to figure him out. - Wow. Oh, you're lucky. Jeez. - Mom. You know exactly what Daddy wants. And you know how to make him happy and how to make him miserable. Every woman does. If you're bored, Mom, you know, that's your fault, not his. Bored. You've always been your father's daughter, and if you want to side with him this time, that's fine. - This is not about sides, Mom. - Don't! Don't pretend that you know what goes into a 30-year marriage, because you don't have a clue. You don't have a clue. Are you all right? I'm sorry. I don't want to upset you. Can we have some chamomile tea, please? - Hello. - Hey, it's Michael. Hey, Michael! I've been thinking about you. Really? What kind of thoughts? You know exactly what kind of thoughts. - What are you doing? - I'm at work. Yeah, I'm trying to picture it. Where's your office? It's Zander-Cohen. It's a pretty big architecture firm. Impressive. Do you have a view? Yeah. It's a nice view. Yeah? Can you see what I'm doing? It's not that nice. - Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry. So are we still on for tonight? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, like, 8:00, right? You want me to pick you up? Yeah, 8:00. I'll be waiting. All right, cool. Bye. Who was that? Just this friend. Do you have a friend I don't know? This guy from school. Going through a divorce. By the way, I was going to ask you a favor. What? What? I was gonna go out with him tonight and Jenna fucking hates him, so I'm just gonna tell her I'm with you, if that's cool. You're fucking around on her. What? It's a guy from school. No. Don't get me involved in this, please. How can you fuck around on Jenna? She's perfect. She's beautiful. She's like a guy. What more could you ask for? - I'm telling her I'm with you. - No. Michael, what are you doing? Don't tell her you're out with me. No, I'm gonna screw it up. I can't lie. You're both gonna hate me forever. Leave me out of it. - I have faith in you. - No. Come here. Michael. Come here. Michael, Michael. Hey, Michael, come here a second. My boss said to tell you that there's this guy who really wants to buy this thing coming by tomorrow. But he is full of shit. I mean, I've worked here for three years. You're the first people I ever showed it to. Smoked a lot of weed in there, though. It's good for that. - Hello. - Izzy, your father, he isn't breathing. You need to get home quickly. Okay. I called the ambulance and the fire volunteers. I gotta go. Chris is moving into Kenny's? I think so, so they can, like, figure some stuff out. I don't get it. He has a child. I know, but, come on, you've seen them together. She's sort of lost her mind. - This is her fault? - It's nobody's fault. It's just... I don't know. I think he just needs to talk to somebody. - Okay. - I'm not gonna be late. - I'll be at my dad's till around 11:00. - Okay. God, what's happening? Everyone around us is falling apart. I know. - Have fun. - Thanks. - Hi! - I got this! I don't need it! - Oh, my God! - My God! Oh, my God. My top is totally clinging. You can see everything. Don't worry, I promise I won't look. Then I'll be insulted. - Well, I don't want to offend you. - Well, then. Your top's wet. Okay. Where am I going? Straight ahead. Turn left. Your kind of party, huh? I was never in a fraternity. I was much too serious. I bet you were 29 even when you were 19. Put it this way. If I had to do it again, I'd do it knowing that after you graduate, no one ever gives a fuck what your GPA was. Hey! Kim! Hi! This is Sara, and Bridgitte and John. - Hey. How's it going? - Cool. Sorry about that. At the tone, please record your message. Chris, it's Jenna. Michael and you both have your cell phones off. Listen, Izzy's dad just died. We're all gonna head over there, so I guess I'll see you guys there. Bye. Go ahead. I'll be okay. - I want things to be okay, Daddy. - I know. Go ahead. Take care of your friend. I'm fine. I really am. You have no messages. Main menu. - Hey. - Hello, Jenna. - I'm so sorry. - Thank you, darling. Thank you. Thank you for coming. Go. Everybody is in the back room. - Okay. - Thank you. Hey. Thanks for coming. - I don't know what to say. Are you okay? - No. I don't know. The last thing I did was quit on him. He knew you loved him. - Hey. - Hey. Hey, where's Michael? He went out with Chris. I haven't been able to reach them. No, Chris is in the kitchen. - Good. I'll be back. - Okay. Hey. - Michael's not here. - Why not? I don't know. Did you try him at home? Hi, you've reached Michael and Jenna... Hey, he's not there and his cell's still turned off. You told him you were coming here. He knows, right? I told him. Or, I mean... What? Did you? Oh, man. I'm not gonna do this. - I can't do this. - Do what? - What's wrong? - Can't do what? - Chris? Chris, can't do what? - Jenna, please. - Can't do what, Chris? - You should just talk to Michael. Talk to him about what, Chris? What the hell are you talking about? Listen, don't ask me any more questions, please. He should be telling you. - Tell me what? - I don't know! - Tell me what? - I don't know! - Where is he? - I don't know! - Who is he with right now? - I don't know! Is he seeing somebody? - Why are you asking me? - Just tell me the truth. Is he seeing somebody else, Chris? Look at me! I'm looking at you. I don't know if he's seeing anybody else. You don't know. How could you not know? I don't know anything. Hey. This is Michael. - Leave a message... - What is with the yelling? - Where did he go? - I don't know. Jenna! Michael, call me as soon as you get this message. I'm gonna kill you. Oh, my God! What the hell are you doing? You're calling him? - No, that wasn't him. - To tell him what? What is this? - What the fuck is this? - I honestly have no fucking idea. - Yes, you do. Do you know her? - Just give me a break. - No, I don't. - Do you know her? - No! They just met. Be quiet. - What? Jenna, they're just... Listen to me. Whoa! God, I'm gonna kill him! Come here. Jenna! Come here! Come here! Come here! Jenna! They're just friends! Fuck! You make me feel 10 years younger. Ten years? Then I'm seducing a younger man. Excellent. You're trying to make me lose my mind, aren't you? I've already lost mine. Come on. Let's go back to my room. My roommate's gone. I can spend the whole night making love to you. Oh, my God. I can't. I can't. I gotta go. I gotta go. - No, you don't. - Yes, I do. I gotta go. This isn't right. - Yeah, it is. - No, no, no. Kim, it isn't. And I don't know what I thought was gonna happen tonight. I definitely know what I hoped was gonna happen tonight. But this isn't cool. I really, really, really want to have sex with you. Yeah. I can tell. - You can tell that? - Yeah. Subtle signs. But I can't. I can't. I'm sorry. Michael? Okay. It's gonna be okay. He's gonna come home. He's gonna come home. He's gonna come home. Hey, this is Michael... Do something for me. What? Go home, tell her that it's over and leave her. - I can't. - What? You're an amazing guy. You wouldn't be here with me right now unless you knew something was missing in your life. You can't force things. I mean, relationships, they either work, or they don't. I could be your last chance at happiness. Come inside. I can't. Okay. Good night. - Jenna? - Where are you? Where are you? No! No! No! Oh, fuck! - Jenna, I had an accident. - You asshole! I had a car accident! Who the fuck are you with, you bastard? Jenna! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I knew this was gonna happen! I knew this was gonna fucking happen. I'm here. I'm here. Why would you lie to me, Michael? What are you talking about? What were you doing all night? I was with Chris. God, you lying bastard. You make me so sick. I was with Chris, I swear. It's him. You want to ask him? You can ask him. Chris? Jenna knows everything. I didn't tell her. Michael? Hello? You don't want me to talk to him? Why, is that because you're a lying piece of shit? I didn't do anything wrong, Jenna. Who is she? - What are you talking about? - I want to know who she is. You're blowing this way out of proportion, baby. Who were you with, Michael? This girl I met. It was nothing. It was nothing. This girl I met. It was nothing. It was nothing. Did you have sex with her? Tell me. Did you cheat on me, asshole? I kissed her. It was one kiss and it meant absolutely nothing, baby! I did such a stupid thing! - It was a stupid thing. I'm so sorry. - You make me sick, you fucking slut. Slut? "Kim"? You have her number programmed into your cell phone? - Who is this dirty whore? - I didn't sleep with her! - Who is this fucking whore? - I didn't sleep with her! - No. But you wanted to, right? - No! - Bullshit. Is she prettier than me? - No! - Liar! - No, Jen! What am I supposed to do now, huh? What the fuck am I supposed to do now? You've ruined everything! Will you listen to me? Nothing happened! Nothing? You kissed her. You were out with another woman all night. I'm pregnant. - Is that fucking nothing to you? - Yes! No! How many times did you kiss her? Don't you dare lie to me. Several times. Oh, God, you make me sick! But it didn't mean anything, baby. She made me realize I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know that now. I'm three months pregnant and you're already out trying to fuck other women! What's gonna happen 10 years from now? How could I ever trust anything you say again? Jenna. Fuck you, man. It's over. - Jenna. - Get out right now. I'll tell you when you can come back and get your shit. Maybe Kimmy can help you pack. - Jenna, we're having a baby. - No. No, I am the one having this baby. I'm the pregnant one, not you. And she's better off with no father than a lying asshole like you! You're overreacting. It was a couple kisses. After three years, Jenna, things happen. - Not to me, they don't! Get out! - And go where? Get out of here! Go back to fucking Kim! What, are you gonna fucking stab me, Jenna? - Get out! - Are you out of your fucking mind? - Get the fuck out of here! - Are you out of your fucking mind? - Get the fuck out! - Fuck you! Fuck you! - Hello. - Hey. Don't hang up. Look, I'm so sorry about before. I think... God, I must've had too much to drink or something, but if I promise not to try to kiss you or anything, will you come over here and talk to me? I really need to talk to you. Anna? Anna? - Hi. - Hey. I promise I won't touch you. Hey. I don't care about tomorrow or anything else. I just care that you're here. Fuck! Oh, fuck! Why'd you leave without saying goodbye? I have to go to this work thing. I didn't want to wake you up. Have you seen my keys? You can't wait to get back to her, can you? Can you just please help me find my keys? What did I do? You didn't do anything, Kim. You're amazing. You were amazing. Last night was perfect. Here. Thank you. Are you gonna call me? I'll call you. Unlock the door, Jenna. I'm packing. Come back later. The house will be empty. No. You have to come talk to me. Things are not going to end like this. - Like I did this. Move your foot. - I panicked. I made a huge mistake. Fuck! Jenna, open the door! Michael? - Is anything wrong? - Everything's fine. I locked myself out. - Jenna, you're having our baby! - Yeah, well, maybe I won't keep it! Don't you ever say that, Jenna. Don't ever say anything like that ever again! I can do whatever the hell I want. We're not married, remember? - We're both free, just like you wanted. - I made a mistake. You're right. Too late, man. Move your goddamn foot. Hi. Hi, darling. What's going on? Jenna? Sweetheart. Oh, honey. Sweetheart, what's the matter? All right, come on. Come on, just come in. Oh, sweetie. You'll be fine, sweetheart. - Jenna? - Hey, it's me. - Hello. - Is she there? Anna? I'm coming over. Please don't tell her. I know I'm being such a pain in the ass right now, but I had to come and see you. - Hi. - Hi. I know you're like, "This girl's a freak, get her away from me," but I have something for you. Don't you want to know what it is? I made you, like, the best mix CD ever. I mean, there's a ton of stuff on it. Like some really cool Madison bands that I'm sure you've never heard of before. And, like, the first song that we danced to. And there's also, like, this song of me playing the flute which you're gonna think is totally God-awful. But I thought it'd... - Kim. - What? There's something I have to tell you. There's something I have to tell you. I'm having a baby with a woman that I'm very much in love with. You told me that you were confused, that you wanted to leave her. I know. I was confused, Kim. I was so confused. And it was wrong of me to get you tangled up in that. How could you not tell me that you were having a baby? Because I'm an asshole. I did a bad thing. I have no excuse. There nothing I can say to you other than that I'm so sorry, and it's really not about you at all. Why do people always say that? How can it not be about me if you can sleep with me one minute, and then walk out on me the next? I'm sorry, Kim. I gotta go. - All right. - All right. No, you'll be fine. You are the suckiest driver. No way. I'm not. Well, how many miles do you think you guys will be making fun of me for? I'd say pretty much the whole entire way. I'm not going to make fun of you. I think there's a bus stop... - Is there a bus down there? Oh, good. - It's four miles. Because my friends aren't giving me a ride home, so... I think it's going to rain. Sorry I'm not coming, guys. - No, don't apologize. - No. You're doing the right thing, man. - Send a postcard? - Sure. Call me. Fly's down. Honey. Michael's coming over. - You told him I was here? - He knew. Come on, Mom. Jenna, sweetheart, look, I know. I know it hurts like hell and I am sorry, I really am. But you know, two days ago you told me these things happen... You and Daddy have been together 30 years, Mom. We aren't even married yet and he's already cheating on me. I know. I know. And I really don't need you to defend him right now, okay? I'm not. There's nothing to defend. It's despicable. He did an awful thing. It's not an awful thing, Mom. It's an unforgivable thing. Unforgivable? What do you want? - I just want to talk to you! - Get out of here! It's over! - Jenna? - You hear me? It's over! - So what are we supposed to do? - Let him in. Thank you. No, wait. Let me talk to her again. Jenna. Open up. Michael's not here. He's outside with your dad. Jenna. Have you got something to say for yourself? I don't know, I'm... I panicked. I got scared. Well, that's a very compelling argument. You won't have any trouble convincing her of that. What the fuck were you thinking? Did you just get bored? - No, I'm just an idiot. - On that much, we're agreed. I love her, Stephen. I realize now I love her more than I will ever love anybody else. Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. - It means nothing. - But it's true. It still doesn't mean anything. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts. And you did do this thing, right? I just saw the rest of my life, and there were no more surprises. This was it. I mean, it was great... But it was it. What makes you think this isn't gonna happen again? - I know it won't. - Oh, right. Come on! Aren't we supposed to be able to learn from our mistakes? I did something horrible, but I learned from it. I met this little brunette and I faltered. Are you telling me that throughout your entire marriage you never faltered? You haven't? Never? - Never. - Oh, that makes me feel great. You think it's because I wasn't tempted? You think that this woman is the last brunette that's ever gonna let you know that she wants you? Look at me. I haven't met my last brunette. She's the last one I'm gonna kiss. I'm in love with your daughter, Stephen. And maybe that doesn't mean anything to you, but I'm standing here. You're her father. I'm looking you in the eyes and I'm telling you, I will do anything in the world to get your daughter back. - Really? Anything? - I'll do anything. - People say that. They don't mean it. - But I mean it. Well, it's very simple. Just do whatever it takes. - It's that simple. - Yes. You can't fail if you don't give up. You know, being right isn't all it's cracked up to be. And you can't try so hard to control it all. You know, life is pretty much in the grays for the most part. And if you insist always on black and white, you are gonna be very unhappy. That's a convenient philosophy for you, Mom. Look, I don't defend what I did to your father. But the truth of the matter is that we both gave up. But now we are trying, we are trying very hard to get back on track by listening to each other, something we've never done. Honey, whatever you decide about Michael, talk to him. As painful as it is. Don't be so quick to walk away. She's in her room. People know the truth. They may not like it or want to know it, but they always know. Lie, and you will lose her. It'll never happen again in my life. I promise. Why did you do something so awful to me? Because I was scared. Do you know what? I don't want to hear it. You said you're okay with having this baby. What am I supposed to say to you, Jenna? I'm terrified that my life is over? I'm terrified because I don't think I'm ready to grow up yet? I mean, a guy can't say that to the woman that's having his baby. - You would've never forgiven me. - No, you're right, and I don't. That doesn't mean I feel that way now, though. No, now you feel guilty. You're still scared. You're just scared of what I'll do to you. Well, that's true. - You were really terrified? - Jenna, I am terrified. So am I, you idiot. I'm scared I'm gonna be a bad mother, and you won't love me, and you'll ignore me, and... I won't want you, and the whole thing will fall apart and I won't know what to do. - Baby, that's not gonna happen. - How do you know? Because I know. - You know now, you didn't know before? - Yes. I know now. Were you telling me the truth last night? You didn't sleep with her? I was telling you the truth. But then I went back. Fuck you! Jenna. Calm down! Listen to me. I'm telling you the truth. - Get the fuck out! - I'm telling you the truth! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! I'm sorry! I'm trying to be totally honest with you! Jenna, I could've lied and I'd be inside that door right now, but I didn't. Isn't the truth more important than anything else, Jenna? Not if the truth is you slept with another woman! Jen? Just listen to me for one second. I'm so sorry. Baby, I'm so sorry. Jenna, please... - Don't touch me! - Listen to me for one second. I mean it! I mean it! Get... Get away from me! Where are you going to go, Jenna? Jenna? - Get away from me! - Listen to me! Jenna? Stop! I love you! - Motherfucker. - Jenna? Jenna? Don't even think about coming in the house. Michael, I mean it. - Okay. I'm not gonna come inside. - Damn right, you're not. But I'm not gonna leave, either. I'm not gonna leave, Jenna. You're gonna have to come talk to me sooner or later. Go away! I can't! I'm sorry. I can't. I love you, and I don't deserve you, but this is our home. This is our home, Jenna, and I'm... I'm not gonna leave this porch until you talk to me. Jenna? Hey. I'm not coming back. I'm sorry. But I'm moving into Kenny's. I'm still gonna be his dad. Okay. Good. - Hey. - You can start now. Hi. Sorry? Lise? I'm exhausted, Chris. Everything you need is in here. You need anything else, call. Otherwise, I will see you on Monday. I'm here, kid. I'll never leave you. Michael? Michael? - It's sparkling! - Thank you, Réjean. Thank you. Do you remember the day my grandmother died? Jenna? Remember how they let me in so that I could kiss her goodbye? There was this pain in my heart that day that I had never felt before, and that I've never felt again until now. I feel like I'm mourning the death of the single most important thing in my life. Us. But we're not dead, Jenna. We're not dead, baby. We just have to go back. I'm begging you. I'm begging you. Please love me enough to let us go back to the way things were. I don't think I can, Michael. Well, then, we'll start something new, but we have to try, right? How can we not try? Jenna? Jenna? Western grip? Western grip? Correct. Just like holding hands. Holding hands? Like this? - I don't know how. - I don't know how. Yamete kudasai. Ah? Please stop doing that. - Can't hear you. - Ha ha, idiot. This person must be mute. Saa, who knows. I'm just too ignorant. Hey, you guys are noisy. Na? What did you say chibi? The one you were talking about just now was the Eastern grip. Eastern grip? It's really common just for people like you. Did you said something wrong? How old are you? - Junior High student? - Middle School student? Looks like you know a lot. Get off the next stop. Mada mada da ne. Who's that? Good afternoon! Thanks for the hard work! Oi chibi. We are not recruiting. Wait chibi. What is your name? I'm asking you for your name. Could it be you are that transfer student named Echi something? Answer me. Echizen Ryoma. So it is. The prodigy from America. Show me what you've got. And you are? Seigaku regular, second year student, Kaidou Kaoru. You'd better not regret. You will lose. What did you say. Well he looks quite cute. He's really good! You alright, senpai? Such beautiful spinning ball... It's my first time seeing something like that. Hey, hey, hey, ah Kaidou? Who's he playing with? That must be the transfer student Ryuzaki-sensei was talking about. Heh, you can even spin the ball into such an angle. Snake shot. Game Kaidou. One love. Court change. So it'll be like this. If it continues like this, he will... My reaction is getting slower. I can't be losing to this chibi? This is a match of perseverance. I won't lose. Heh... This person even knows the Snake. That is a Buggy Whip shot, right. It's quite difficult to use since this is my first time trying it. First time? Senpai, you sure are sweating a lot. You'll wet that uniform. The weather's so hot yet you're dressed so weirdly. It's not over. Come! Mada mada da ne. That'll be all. Good afternoon! Captain... Playing a match without approval, twenty rounds around the court. But I- Forty rounds. Yes. The rest of you start your high-intensity training. The first years pick the balls. Yes. You're the team captain. Please give me your guidance. I will join next semester. First, hand up a registration form. Ah, okay. Oyaji. Oh, Ryoma. Gave me a scare there, what're you doing here? Is your mother doing fine? It's outrageous. What were you thinking leaving our hometown? It's called Seishun Gakuen. Nothing spectacular. Why, don't like it? Don't tell me that to get me into that school, you brought me here all the way from the States? Well, you can say that. How about it? Let's have a game. Here then. I'll crush you. Ready. Start. Don't look down on me! Damned guy. Mada mada da ne. Go home. Ku'so! Ugh! What the hell? What you doing? When did you come here? Anyway, get out. Scared you, didn't I? Scared you, didn't I? Get out. It's been a long time since we were in the bath together. That's disgusting. I feel like getting out of here right now. You're blushing. You're shy? Your skin's so thin? Who's the one that wants to get out? - Tell me clearly. - Shuddap. When we were bathing together while you were young didn't you like to put your legs like this? - What kind of joke was that? - It hurts, it hurts. You're early. The English test turned out bad. - No doubt about that. It was horrible. - I thought it was okay. Echizen Ryoma National champion for four years running never lost a single game in the championships. - No defeat, that's impressive. - Ah that's more. Ryuzaki-sensei. What kinda guy is that Ryoma? Playing with the world's top masters with 37 consecutive wins. People said that as long as he wasn't injured during the Grand Slam, he wouldn't lose. Japan's greatest player. It was also because I looked up to him when I was young that I began playing tennis. Even now he's still my most respected senpai. Nitouryu no Samurai Nanjiro. Exactly. That boy is Samurai Nanjiro's junior. Even if he's famous, I still won't give him preferential treatment. I will treat him fairly. Now it's just to ensure that we will achieve victory in the Nationals. Only these. As expected, it's here. We are the same group. Ah, o-xhibi. Come to see the groupings? About the tournament to decide the regulars... First years aren't allowed to take part in the ranking matches. Why would there be your name? Saa because I am strong. Don't be so arrogant. Kaidou. Give me your guidance. Tennis is about hitting the ball back fast. Let's have this practice first. Don't want to. How cute. Jackknife. That technique isn't too bad. All the different smashes in tennis sure benefit you guys. Too bad your ball isn't high enough. Sorry but I've checked your data. The data won't lie. If not for the data you would have played better. - What are you doing? - Woot? Ugh. What was that? What was that? Doing that by yourself. Makes one so nostalgic. This Seigaku regular uniform, - Not too shabby. - Heh? Let's have a game at the usual place, okay. Let's go. When did he come in... - Everybody gather. - Hai! - Good morning. - Good morning. The opposing team is Seishun Middle School finally we get to play. I still haven't accepted you. Ah, I see. Hey, look at that. What's this? A chibi here. How come even a chibi can become a regular. Oh, it's Hyotei! Hyotei is here! - Yo Tezuka. - Atobe. Where did this kind of manners come from? How are you doing, players of Seigaku? Hoi? You even send Junior students when your own players aren't good enough. Hmm. Who are you? Really cute. Tezuka. We'll see you eat dirt today. All the best. You are? Higaki Shioin. The next player on the court is Seigaku's Tezuka against Gokuin's Nakano. Finally, he's playing. Oi, Echizen. Why aren't you watching the match? You're Seigaku's regular, right. Watch the match? Why? What why? Kaidou. I'm just saying. Anyway, I don't like these kind of things. Tennis is just a game for solo players. There's also doubles. Is it that fun? Doubles. It looks like you still don't know much, o-chibi. Two persons together can be like three people. That's doubles. Just joking. Have some food first. Milk and bread are all here. Here. I don't like milk. Echizen, it's your turn to play. I'll be going first. Oi, have you eaten? Seigaku! Fight! Fight! Fight! Seigaku! Fight! Fight! Fight! - Ike, ike, ike, ike, ike, Seigaku! - Ike, ike, ike, ike, ike, Seigaku! Oi, oi, is that kid really going to play? One set match. Seigaku's service. Play. Ne, umpire, you haven't counted the points. 15 - Love That guy's really good. It's hard to believe he's a first year. - Medic. Hurry. - Ah! There doesn't seem to be any problems with his eye. Just a cut on his lower eyelid. The match can't continue. It's fine. Stop joking. Captain Tezuka is worried too. I want to play. Ten minutes. If you don't win in ten minutes, I'll substitute you. Tezuka. Alright? No problem. Sorry for the wait. Still playing on? Just a little cut, no reason to make a big fuss. That guy's left-handed. No way. You'd better admit defeat. Nitouryu. Note: This name refers to Ryoma's ambidexterity. Seigaku Tennis Team. Congratulations on your victory. Thank you. Players of the tennis club. Today, my idiot son lost his game sorry to bring you guys trouble. It's okay we won in the end. - It's my treat today. - Thanks. Eat, eat. - Everyone, let's toast. - Okay. Okay, cheers! Cheers! Let's eat. Hey, no. - No, don't. - Stop it! Delicious. - Delicious. - Delicious. Sensei, sorry to trouble you. We brought you quite a bit of trouble. Ah er, I have some good wine here, have a little. I am the team captain, Tezuka. Captain? - You're mistaken. - Tezuka is a third year student. Yo Tezuka-sensei. Tezuka-sensei. - But that o-chibi was quite good today. - Yes, he was. - He scared me a little. - Um. Ah, that was the Nitouryu. That Nitouryu was not natural. Not natural? He learned from his father. His father, you said Echizen Nanjiro? - You're bothered because of this? - Eh? What do you mean? What is it? What? What? What? Ah Eiji, sorry to keep you waiting. That Echizen sure is slow. Get someone to bring him here. Why don't you go? Why me? Damn late, Echizen! Ah, my apologies. You see we are not open for business today. Ah, dozo. Sorry about it. - Come back tomorrow. - But they're eating... But they're eating... No, no, no. That is just a minor incident. Don't worry about it. Carry on. It is okay. It's okay. - Taka-san. - Yes? Good accuracy. What about Higaki? Don't worry. There's a reason to make Higaki lose. To control him better. If this carries on it might lead to the damage of your whole body. Rest for a year without playing tennis. Concentrate on your therapy. Wait till the National Finals. Please let me play till that match. If it's tennis you can still play in high school. No matter what, I want the team members to go to the Nationals together. Swing the racket for me to see. Your Zero-Shiki Drop Shot. (Zero Degree Drop Shot) Stop. Being your therapist I can tell you that this is your limit point. That move of yours will add on to your injuries. You must not use the Zero-shiki Drop Shot under any circumstances. Alright? Hi. What's the matter? Have your injury recovered? All thanks to you. Recover well. Competition is one week away. Up or down? Up. - Up. - I will serve first then. Let's have a proper match. As the captain, you'll lose face if you don't win. Give me all you've got. You sure? Echizen, you're strong but if you don't get better, we will not win in the Nationals. Give me your best shot. I won't go easy so give me all you've got. Give me all you've got and improve yourself, Echizen. Why did you transfer schools? Didn't it cross your mind that the Nationals are filled with the best players. - Even stronger than yourself? - Think about it. Think about it on your own. You're Seigaku's pillar of strength. Stop kidding around. Echizen's not coming again today? What did you hear about it? Don't worry about it? Looks like he came to school though. What happened? Is it a cold? It is a cold. - Ne, ne, ne, did something happen to the chibi? - Ah... What do you mean something happened? - It wasn't easy coming here. - Then what do you want me to do? At least help me a little. The age of Kanto will continue tonight. Ryoma, let's have a game. - Don't want. - Good. Heh? Oi, Ryoma. {\pos(192,242)}I'm bored. What's up? {\pos(192,242)}Why? Ya, they want those training camp. Why? {\pos(192,242)}Sure. {\pos(192,242)}See you then. Mum there's still one more week, right. I understand. Bye. What are you trying to do? Mind your own business. How long do you intend to stay here? Don't try to change the subject. Captain, please play another round with me. Just concentrate on practising for the upcoming competition. I wish to start immediately. I'm about to leave. What are you talking about? I don't have much time already. What do you mean? We'll talk about it later. Hurry up, go for practice. Tezuka. Tezuka. For next week's Kanto Meet, the playing members have already been selected. The first team we're up against is Hyotei Gakuen. Heh... Hyotei... No way, it'll definitely be a blood bath. - We lost last year but this year, we'll definitely win! - Yeah! These are the Kanto's meet regulars' uniforms. - Tezuka's choices are Oishi Shuichiro. - Yes. - Fuji Shusuke. - Yes. - Kikumaru Eiji. - Yes. - Kawamura Takashi. - Yes. - Inui Sadaharu. - Yes. - Kaidou Kaoru. - Yes. The last one is, Echizen Ryoma. Momoshiro, even though I can't put you down this time you still have to work hard in the future. Yes. Captain, I can't take part in the Kanto Meet. Can I be dismissed? What? I have to represent in the Youth Cup. I'm going back to America. Then, what about the Kanto's meet? That's why I'm giving this regular's uniform to Momo-senpai. What the hell are you saying. - Stop fucking around! - Oi! Oi! - Stop. - This is a rare opportunity to come by for any Seigaku player! What kinda joke is this, bloody idiot! Oi, Momo. Leave him alone. Don't brood over it. So, you guys are the players of Seishun Middle School. - Higa-san... - Yes that is Higa-san. I brought you a nice present. Hora, who should I aim? - Eh? Dangerous! Everyone is dangerous! - You! You! - What the hell are you! - Oi Kaidou! Kaidou! Wait, you okay? - That bastard! - Wait, calm down. Calm down. Stop this! Stop it! Let go of me! It's been a while, Tezuka. - What the hell are you doing? - Leave here at once. - Don't waste anymore of your energy. - Why is he here for? Why is he here? You bunch, I'll accompany you. Play a game in Samurai Nanjiro's meet. Come on out, if you dare. - Ano saa... - Echizen! Don't associate yourself with that kind of people. Isn't this chibi your opponent in the game? Game? Oh, you didn't know? He didn't tell you? Hold on. Echizen Ryoma, remember that. Brat. Hyotei Gakuen. Egate Mcleod Higaki. - Hyotei. - Hyotei. Leave at once. I will not tolerate this. Are you troubled? Sensei. Ryoma's going back to America, right? Is that alright? Whether he wants to leave or not, is not up to us. If it depends on him, I guess there's nothing we can do. Will the participating schools please report to the court now. It's starting soon. Momoshiro that idiot, didn't come in the end. And so is the chibi. - Let's go. - Oh! Kanto District Meet is about to begin. Seishun Gakuen and Hyotei Gakuen match is officially begun. Please exchange your lineup. I've waited for a long time, Tezuka. Sorry, but we will be the champions. I've waited for a long time, Tezuka. Sorry, but we will be the champions. The rules of the matches are one set match and a tie-breaker. That is all. Heard you guys are the "Golden Pair" who has some invincible acrobatic double play. - What double play? Can Seigaku really do it. - One set match. Seigaku's serve. Play. Go, team, go! Jump a little higher. Eiji. The situation doesn't look too good. - It's all right. It's still only- - But... Seigaku! - Fight! - Seigaku! Fight! To give you guys so much trouble. Sorry! Momo. This is embarassing, right. Eiji, use that move. Okay. - Yes! - Yes! - Happy. - Keep it up. A comeback is possible because this is a game of doubles. Reporting from Japan. Hai. Game set and match. Won by Hyotei. Seven games to five. Oi, Echizen. I thought you were going to America. Or are you getting ready to go? Forget it, watch our show. He's here. Echizen. Second round. Doubles two. Hyotei's profilic pair against Seigaku's incredible pair. Here I go. 15 - Love Yeah, we scored. That's great. 30 - Love 40 - Love Game Hyotei. One game to love. 15 - Love It's starting to progress. Great, great. What kind of joke is this? - Defend. - Yes. Yosha! Note: Inui is collecting data in real time because the power of the opponents exceeded the data that he had collected. Game Hyotei. Five games to two. You're gonna be defeated. - Kaidou, can you still continue? - Watch carefully. Thanks for the hard work. See, a straight shot. Hundred percent. Unfortunately, your ball won't make it over. - Data tennis is starting to show its abilities. - It's really a strong method. Use that move. Yosh. Do it, Kaidou. Game set and match. Won by Seigaku. Seven games to five. It's a pit between physical peserverence. We can't lose. Third match is beginning. Hyotei's Kabaji against Seigaku's Kawamura. One set match. Hyotei to serve. Play. Hadoukyuu. 15 - Love What! Winner will be Hyotei. If this continues, we'll lose. Taka-san, that is... I will definitely win this match. I want to be in the Nationals. Single-handed Hadoukyuu technique. I can't play anymore. Kabaji's stamina is actually drained. The last ball doesn't count. Singles three no game. Chiku'so! I'm sorry everyone. Takashi, I love you okay! Good work! Oyaji... Don't give up. Go, go. Taka-san, lend this racket to me. Fourth match is starting. Singles two. Hyotei's Akugatawa against Seigaku's Fuji. - Disappeared? - 15 - Love Wow, for real? Seriously amazing, it disappeared. Amazing. Disappeared. No shit. 30 - Love Disappeared again. Amazing! 40 - Love No doubt about it, Fuji Shusuke is a genius. Wind. I will show you. Hakugei. I'm lucky, I just tapped it a little like this. Careful! One more time, the wind hasn't stopped. Everyone is pressing forward. Game set and match. Won by Seigaku. Six games to love. Next match is beginning. Singles one. Hyotei's Atobe against Seigaku's Tezuka. Tezuka? Isn't he the Seigaku captain? I can see better here. What are you doing here when not even regulars sit here. - Go away. - Go away. Oi. - But I'm part of the team, aren't I? - That's not what it is about. Why would a fellow like you be allowed to sit on the bench! Why aren't you on the way back to America? You're... a pain in the ass. Echizen. Look after it. 'Kay. All for Atobe! - All for Atobe! All for Atobe! All for Atobe! - All for Atobe! All for Atobe! All for Atobe! The winner will be... me. This place sure is crowded. There he is. - Are you done? - Yes, I'm satisfied. It's the first time we are playing against one another. - Are you prepared, har? - Yes. Let's have the best match of course the result will be my happy ending. - Up or down. - Up. Up. Of course. The elbow... One set match. Hyotei to serve. Play. Here I go, Tezuka! 15 - Love Be awed by my prowess. Doesn't matter to me. 30 - Love You're too naive. Watch closely. Oi look there, Tezuka isn't moving a single step. If it's not Zero-Shiki then it will be Tezuka Zone. All the balls that Atobe delivers are spinning towards Tezuka. It's like they are attracted to him. 30 - 15 He returned all my balls. It's coming. 30 - All You're not playing badly eh, Tezuka. But it seems like that arm have not recovered fully, right. What about his arm? Heard he's got an injury in his left arm. Don't talk about strange things, Atobe. Just play with me seriously. The four of us will practice with you. That's called the Rondo to Destruction. Remember it well. That's high! Oi, why didn't he smash the last ball? It won't matter much just to win. Let him play with that arm, that's slowly breaking down. If you go on playing the way you do, your arm will be shattered. No matter what, I want the team members to go to the Nationals together. - Hah! - Game to Seigaku. One game to love. Tezuka, you're really... What a fearless guy. 30 - All It's already been an hour into the match. Tezuka, your arm would have already exceeded its limit. Do you want to destroy your arm just to win this match? Here comes the Rondo to Destruction. Take this! Again. 40 - 30 Yes! Hyotei will lose? Hyotei gonna lose? Hyotei will lose? Impossible. One more ball. One more ball left. Just a little more. - Tezuka! - Tezuka! Stay away! The match is not over yet. Tezuka-kun, that's enough from you. Excuse me, what will happen if Tezuka-kun gives up the match? What will happen? You don't know eh? You don't know. Excuse me, what will happen? Saa... The one who's having a match with the sensei? That Atobe is just waiting for this to happen. - Captain, don't play any more. - Please! - Captain! - Captain! Tezuka! - Do your best. - I will. Seigaku! Fight! Seigaku! Fight! - Ike! Ike! Ike! Ike! Ike! Seigaku! - Ike! Ike! Ike! Ike! Ike! Seigaku! Ike! Ike! Ike! Ike! Ike! Seigaku! Don't lose this after you've beaten me. I will not lose. Sorry to keep you waiting, Atobe. Let's settle this. Okay, come at me. Game set and match. Won by Hyotei's Atobe. Seven games to six. Hyotei! Hyotei! Hyotei! Hyotei! Hyotei! Everyone, it's time for the next player. Understood. With Hyotei Gakuen winning two games too and with no games left, the reserves will play. Hyotei's Higaki against Seigaku's Echizen. Echizen, do you still remember what happened one month ago on the tennis court? Higaki, we're counting on you. - We are counting on you! - We are counting on you! Isn't this what idiots say? Don't be jabbering around me. Apologize Higaki. I can't forgive what you said just now. If I lose, I'll kneel on the floor to apologize. Higaki, you know what you gotta do? The day I lose to that chibi is the day I die. I'm a pro. Sixth match. Hyotei's Higaki against Seigaku's Echizen. You... are the pillar of Seigaku. Ah, you don't have to be so bothered, it's just a tennis game. But chibi, it doesn't matter what kind of genius you are, I won't give any chances. I'm the real genius. A dog that doesn't bite barks the most. Hoh! A kid like you wouldn't know. Weak, huh. Love - 15 - Out! - 15 - All 30 - 15 That fellow. 40 - 15 Game Seigaku. One game to love. Seigaku leading. Damn kid, dares to look down on me. Higaki! Careful not to get hurt. The match will start in a short while. We are currently preparing the court lightings. Everyone, please be patient. 15 - Love You still don't know how I play? Stand up! Is he trying to break his leg? Ku'so. Echizen. Echizen! Fight! Oi! You guys are noisy. You alright? Show some respect! Oi! Shut up! Let's go. What is it? Don't be too bothered about what the doctor said. Don't force yourself to talk. Those words will come naturally, okay. Our dead parents will want that. If it's about money you don't have to worry. Ku'so! There are many better players in the country. Try playing with them. Experience it yourself. You'll... be the pillar of Seigaku. Don't kid around. That's impossible even if you do that. I want to get stronger stronger and stronger. I will become stronger. Amazing! Yes! A comeback! Concentrate! Note: Echizen is using Split Step to ease the pressure on his injured knee. It also helps him to reach for the ball faster. 30 - 15 - 40 - 15 - Yosha! Concentrate. Concentrate harder. Play with your spirit. I will not lose! I will not lose! This ball! This is the ball. This ball. This ball. Ganbatte! This ball. This ball. This ball! Ah! Announcing the results of this match. Won by Seigaku's Echizen. He did it! - Good game! Wonderful! - You're awesome! I'm so glad! I'm so glad! Awesome! You're awesome! Come back to training. From today onwards, we'll be challengers. Captain, tell me if you need help with your arm's recovery, okay. I will remember. Both team players please assemble for the closing ceremony. - Ike! Ike! Ike! Ike! Ike! Seigaku! - Ike! Ike! Ike! Ike! Ike! Seigaku! - Ike! Ike! Ike! Ike! Ike! Seigaku! - Ike! Ike! Ike! Ike! Ike! Seigaku! Ike! Ike! Ike! Bow. Thank you for the game. Nanjiro-senpai. Oh, sensei. My son has been under your guidance. Mada mada desu ka? First, I better give a call to America or they will come looking for me. Later. Echizen this is yours. Captain. Oi, that's Rokkaku Chuu. Is that Shitenhouji! That is Higa Chuu? ! Look, even Rikkai is here... Amazing. Does it bother you? Not really. - Yosh, let's go. - Hai! - Yosh! Mada mada da ne. Previously on saved... I used to get all the time now I don'T. Only thing that's changed,wyatt,is her. Can't save the world. Not trying to. How long have you known rosie? 2 years,give or take a fight or three. What is he claiming? That mrs. Neuwirth could have been saved. There's a chance of settlement. I don't want to settle if it's going to leave a cloud of doubt over this hospital. Code zero,possible hijacking,assailants unknown. You've got to move your belongings and find a permanent residence. You don't have to respond to everything they throw at you. Yes,I do. Maybe you can defend every action you've ever taken. Some day you must tell me what that's like. Sync: YTET-Vicky8800 We start with "el paseo," the stroll. No other dance connects 2 people more closely than the tango. Emotionally as well as physically. There is skill, communication, and intimacy like none other. Thought tennis was a gentleman's game. Hey,too bad you didn't break your arm before the match. Why don't you piss off,you dick! Or would you like another forehead across the head, 'cause you broke the wrong arm. Hold still. That's the only shot you made today. That's it. Don't move. I'm outta here. You promised. No,I promised I'd get physical therapy not public humiliation. It's humiliating. Yeah? How much did you lose, 500? A grand? This is a way for us to get close again. Hey, I almost got killed a few weeks ago. Sorry if it's affected your sex life. That's not what I meant. Why don't you tell them,princess? Huh? It was 3. Ladies, tango comes from the portuguese "tangere." To touch. It's all about touch.Not talk. Turns out talk is cheap,bro,huh? A little tight,don't you think? It's fine. We'll adjust it when we get in the ambulance. Man,look at this,my fingers are turning blue. I'm thinking your boyfriend's the senior guy here, maybe he can take a look. My partner is busy. I can wait. You didn't mean "senior guy," did you? You meant white guy. Is that what you meant? Ha ha! That's what he means.Kick his racist ass! You,shut up. And you, a little respect,or we'll leave you all here. I don't need your help,son. That's not what I'm saying. Yeah,it is.That's exactly what he's saying. Go ahead,man,you kick his white ass. Shut up! I'd just like to come home once and not hear doors being slammed. She's 12. I had a friend who got so tired of it, he actually took his daughter's door off the hinges. It's like a battleground every night. She's trying to manipulate the situation. She asks me if she can sleep at a friend's,I say no. She asks you,you say yes. What's wrong with this picture? I didn't know the parents weren't gonna be there. But I did.All you had to do was ask me. Oh,so now I have to ask your permission to make a decision about my daughter? Come on. That's not what I'm saying. Ok. So,when are the depositions? Friday. I get the pleasure of defending your ex. Is that what this is about? Wyatt did the right thing.So did you. Yeah. That's a great defense. I'll remember that. Daniel,come on. Don't walk away.We have to talk. Don't make me stop this rig... sometimes this job just seems like a job. These depositions go wrong on friday, we'll all be looking for new ones. Hence,the bad mood. Lawyers expect you to lie, so you tell them the truth and throw 'em off their game. Is that what your girlfriend's gonna do? Alice isn't being called. Alice ain't your girlfriend. The therapist,dr. Thorpe, or didn't she tell you she was being deposed? Of course she told me. You're sleeping with her, so she'll say nice things about you at the deposition.Smart. See,I don't have that option. A--we're not sleeping together. Sad but true.B-- she's a therapist.She's got privilege. She can't say anything. I don't trust her. I'm not paying.You lost it. You pay. Kids,kids,kids! I'm not gonna support you! We have them dry-cleaned. Well, not this one. Someone was filling these jugs with something. There's fresh teeth marks from a wrench here. I pull the damn pipe out. What, do they wash the costumes in the sink? Drain the liquid into the jugs? Ms. Brandt, we need to see the, uh, bills of lading for the costumes from the tour. And we're gonna need the outbound and return bills. I didn't see Laura backstage. I was busy with costume changes. You were in South America with her. With the whole company! Anyway, I didn't even know her. Every time I did see her, she was in one of those rehearsal rooms, by herself, practicing. People told us you had a bug problem with your costumes? You had to wash them all by hand when you got back from the tour? Like, really big bugs. We're talking 30 pounds worth. That's how much more the costumes weighed when you came back. See? Here on the bills of lading. Uh, we bought a couple of costumes. Mimi, don't you think we would have checked that out before we brought you in? What you did, Mimi, was you bought a few bricks of coke in South America. And you dissolved them in water, and then you dipped the costumes in them. And then when you got back, you soaked the costumes, and then you let the water evaporate, and, bingo! Cocaine. Oh, god, oh, god. Oh, god, oh, god, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay, me and George, we've been trying to get a down payment on a place, so George had a friend who knows some people in Iman... All right, yeah. Did Laura know what you were doing? Oh, my god. No, no, no, no, no. Nobody knew. Mimi, she had coke all over her hands when we found her. She must have grabbed onto one of the costumes - when she was hiding in the racks. - Hiding? Yeah, she was hiding back there with Maestro Reinhardt, "Fearsome Phil". They were, they were having some kind of a fight about something. What were they talking about? He was yelling it was his decision, he decides. And then he just yelled at us, and then he left. And what about Laura? She came out right after that, and she looked really upset. Okay, Mimi. Thanks for your cooperation. Sit tight. Mimi, the clothes maestro wears when he conducts... they were dipped in coke too? He decides. His decision. Her mother said she was about to be made first violin. Yeah, made by the maestro. When I last looked, subscriptions were up this year. Absolutely, but there are other considerations. Not because we've hired some new carpenter. But because of me. I choose the material. I shape the performances. They come because of me. Without me, this would be meaningless screeching. Ladies and gentlemen, we ask you now to observe a minute of silence in memory of a beloved member of our family, violinist Laura Booth, who died tragically this past weekend. No one disputes your talent, Philip. But the unions have presented us with three more grievances... Stop wasting my time! Philip, wait, the minute of silence isn't... Philip Reinhardt's jacket had been dipped in cocaine. If Laura struggled with him on the roof, that's how the cocaine residue got on her hands. Anybody see the maestro with Laura, or see him going up to the roof? Everybody was too busy getting loaded. This place, the backstage should be onstage. They'd sell more tickets. Reinhardt was promoting her to first violin. Hardly sounds like a prelude to murder. We think he might have changed his mind, and she might have decided to fight back. We found a musician's union handbook in her bag. It seemed unusual that she'd carry it around, so we had latent check it out. Laura's fingerprints were all over the section on sexual harassment. She was thinking of suing him? Well, he might have tried to trade a promotion for sexual favors. She balked, and he withdrew the promotion. "Fearsome Phil". The guy's already got a reputation. Lawsuit might have cost him big time. So he killed her. Guy's seen too many operas. Every union in building's got grievances against Fearsome Phil. He's a rage-a-holic. Thinks he's the only artist in the building. Can't imagine working with someone like that. Long as he keeps filling the seats, management won't touch him. But an harassment complaint... - Who we talking about? - Laura Booth. Laura? You're kidding me. Yeah, he promised to make her first violin. You're her union rep. We thought she might have talked to you. / No. Laura was pretty single-minded about getting where she wanted to go. But I was sure she was off-limits to Reinhardt. - Because of her age? - No. Reinhardt's had an on-and-off thing with Laura's mother. With Gillian Booth? Really? If she knew he was harassing her daughter, could she hurt him? Well, singers talk to other singers. She could make it very hard for him to get hired somewhere else. Then he'd be out a career and a girlfriend. He might have panicked. OFFICE OF MAESTRO REINHARDT OLD HUDSON OPERA HOUSE MONDAY, FEBRUARY 20 You must excuse me. I'm very busy. I must finish my notes on Verdi's "Forza del Destino". It's my new production for the spring. Actually, Mr. Reinhardt, we were hoping to finally speak to an adult. Yeah, no offense, but this crew and these musicians... getting high, having sex... it's like a frat house on viagra. Finally. People who understand what I have to go through every day. How can I help? Let's start with the night of the murder. Did you see Laura during intermission? No, I did not. Can we ask where you were? We've asked everybody else. I was right here. Resting. - Okay, well, were you alone? - Yes, I was. If I'd known I'd be grilled by some Visigoth... / A what? It's a barbarian tribe that invaded Rome. I remember that from the one history class I didn't cut. I'm sure you were a very charming street urchin. Any other questions? Well, did Laura have any enemies in the house? We heard she was very, very ambitious, and you were gonna make her first violin. She told people that? I suppose she felt entitled on account of... my friendship with her mother. Or because she was a prodigy. The position requires a maturity which is beyond Laura. I sensed she wasn't ready. Oh, yeah? Where did you sense that, maestro? Behind the racks in the costume department? Some of the wardrobe people saw you hiding there. They thought you were arguing. And you take the word of drug addicts? Are you denying that you were there? I'm saying I wasn't hiding. I ran into Laura. We were both looking for our concert clothes, and she started pestering me again about being first violin. Are you sure that you weren't pestering her? - She was very attractive. - Good lord, she was a child. Yeah, all the more reason for you to get angry at her when she wouldn't give in to you even when you were dangling a promotion. You think I need inducements to get what I want? On any night, I can point my baton at any woman in the audience, and she's mine. Well, whatever little stick that you pointed at her... We think that she swatted it down with the threat of a lawsuit. You accuse me of murder? You come here, you imbeciles, and distract me from my art! And subject me to your slander! Well, well, well, there's that famous temper we heard about. Punks. Get out. Yeah, we don't want to be in the way when your lady friend gets back. What are you talking about? I told you I don't want any more distractions. I guess those are your makeup sponges then. I don't require makeup. When I look up, you'll be gone. He came down here Monday morning, asking for something to match his skin tone. He didn't tell me what it was for. Well, we just left him. His hands are pale. His face is, uh... tan. - Which tone were you trying to match? - More tan. And he wanted it waterproof. Waterproof to cover a wound? Maybe it's not for nothing he's wearing a turtleneck. We need to find someone who's seen him without his shirt on. Unless you wanna take a shvitz with him. They don't pay me enough. So you do Gillian Booth's makeup? - She always looks so radiant. - Oh, thanks. Sad to think of her alone at a time like this. The maestro must be a big help. I know he was in her dressing room Sunday night. Philip was the first friend I called. He came right away. So Philip's a special friend, isn't he? Did he spend the night with you? Well, it's only natural that you wouldn't want to be alone with your grief, right? Well, if that's what you mean... yes. He held me while I cried. We fell asleep. Did you happen to notice if he had any wounds or scratches? On him? What, you think we were naked? I might have been very vulnerable, but Philip is no cretin. All he did was encourage me to talk about Laura. I was trying to piece together what happened that night she disappeared. - He helped me fill in the blanks. - What blanks? He reminded me that I'd stopped by his dressing room during the intermission. Reminded you? You don't remember? Well, it was the first night back from the tour. Everything was so hectic, I... Did he remind you what you talked about? Why are you taking this sarcastic tone with me? Because it sounds like he was planting a false memory in your mind in order to come up with an alibi for himself. An alibi? Why would... You think Philip killed her. You are insane! I can't listen to this. I can't! Planted memory. Maybe we can turn it into probable cause. I'm warning you, doctor, if you faint, I'm not responsible. I'll try to control myself. By the way, your production of Aida five years ago, one of the best nights of my life. Lennie Briscoe took me. Do you know how many singers I've led in that role? Tebaldi, Price, Milanov, Caballe. What's this underneath the makeup? A boil or something. Looks like a bite mark. - Human bite. - That's not possible. Don't move. I need to take a photo. Yeah, that's a bite mark, all right. What do you have to say about that, maestro? Gillian must have given me a love bite. I spent the night with her Sunday. Yeah, she told us that. She also said that you both fell asleep fully clothed. We had rather a lot to drink. I took my usual sleeping pill. My recollection is a little fuzzy. That's cold. Teeth marks look bigger than Laura's. Well, that happens when there's some swelling of the bite wound. There. I'll get the odontologist to confirm. But it's a match with Laura. He clenched her in a bear hug and... lifted her up into the air shaft, her head would have been over his shoulder. It's consistent with a bite sustained during a struggle. I hear the fat lady warming up. Me, a suspect. - How outrageous is that? - I'm sure it's a mistake. It's done. You're perfect. I'm all bark, Gillian. You know I wouldn't hurt anyone. That's the last thing I would want to think. But truthfully, Philip, I... I don't remember biting you. You know how much we had to drink. I just wanted to numb myself. Yes, yes, I'm coming! Mr. Reinhardt... put your hands on the piano. Philip Reinhardt, you're under arrest for murder. I didn't kill her, I didn't kill her, I didn't kill her, I didn't kill her. Philip, settle down. What do I have to do to convince you? I mean, tell me. I'll tear out my teeth. Why don't you come clean about that relationship with Laura? There was no relationship. That's not the way to go. I mean, considering what we got on you. You have cards? Let's see them. He tried to influence Gillian Booth to help him fabricate an alibi. That's not true. And the bite mark on his neck is an exact match for Laura. Am I the only one who sees how absurd this is? Well, it must be incredibly frustrating for you. To feel like everybody else is out of step, except for you. I mean, you do more in one day than most people do in a week. Yes, yes, that's the story of my life. Well, you're hyper-manic. A personality like yours faced with the intransigence of a young woman who led you on to further her career. - Yes, that's what she did. - Philip, don't. It's unreasonable to expect that you would have reacted differently. It was beyond your control. Enough with the Vulcan mind meld. Now I want to talk to my client. Matthew. I can't ignore a bite mark, and neither will a jury. - Stooped shoulders, low affect. - Yeah, he's gonna fold. With a bite mark from the victim, I'd fold too. Here we go. We don't concede anything at this point. My client needs to sleep, gather his thoughts. We'll talk after the arraignment. Defendant's ordered to surrender his passport. Bail is set at $1 million. Next case. I hope your client's rested and ready to talk. Nothing to talk about. It's amazing what a good night's sleep can do. I guess the jail house grub made him think twice about getting a plea. Gloves and a pillbox hat? Looks like she's going to an afternoon tea. I'm looking for the elevators. Yeah, they're back there. Mind if we talk to you for a minute? I don't think Philip's lawyers would want me talking to you. Well, did he tell you about the evidence that we have against Mr. Reinhardt? The bite on his neck from Laura. I know about it. She bit him when he flirted with her in the wardrobe racks. - He told you this? - Laura did. The last time she came to my dressing room. And why didn't you tell us that? At the time, it wasn't important. Your part-time boyfriend hits on your daughter. You don't think that's important? Philip is harmless. I told Laura she should be flattered. And now, if you would excuse me, I'm supposed to be meeting Philip downstairs. He should be done with his paperwork by now. Elevators are the other way. Flirting, my ass. You don't make a bite mark like that unless you're fighting for your life. Lying or not, with the victim's mother casting doubt on the only physical evidence against him, Reinhardt's practically in the clear. APARTMENT OF PHILIP REINHARDT 665 WEST 56TH STREET FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 24 Bagged his concert jacket, concert shoes, concert shorts. Let's hope Laura remembered to bleed on them. Tortious interference. What do you got? Lawsuits and countersuits. Otherwise known as Gillian and Philip's on and off again relationship. 1994, he broke off their engagement. She sued him for emotional distress. She couldn't sing for a month. And here, four years ago, another broken engagement. He sued her for trying to get him fired. Well, they looked pretty cozy here. Oh... "It was truly the season to be nice and naughty." "Your little elf, Gillian." Christmas, 2004. Ah, they get engaged, they break up. They get back together. But she can never quite land him. Maybe this time she figured out how. Gillian and Philip applied for a marriage license just two hours after his arraignment. This is what she bartered her testimony for? She wouldn't marry her daughter's killer, would she? Love of her life. She'd give him the benefit of the doubt. Now that might be another way to go. She knows the maestro's innocent because she knows who killed Laura. Doesn't explain the bite mark. I still think the teeth looked a little big. Know what I mean? The teeth marks could look larger because of the swelling of the wound. I didn't say it was the only explanation. Well, what's option B? According to Laura's dentist, she started a teeth whitening program four months ago. He took a mold of her teeth... to make her a dental tray for the bleach. Listen, Rodgers... what if someone made a mold using Laura's dental tray? It would be an exact match of her bite. Except the teeth would come out a little bigger. Thank you, Rodgers. DRESSING ROOM OF GILLIAN BOOTH OLD HUDSON OPERA HOUSE TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 28 What is it with showbiz people and freebies? She's got a subway map for every day of the year. Well, some people can never be too prepared. Detectives, in here. No dental tray or mold, but... dental resin. That's what makeup people use to make fake teeth. 25 years onstage, Gillian's got a few tricks up her sleeve, huh? She wore prosthetic teeth to leave a bite on Philip to match Laura. She set him up. That's how she's getting him to the altar. And by the power vested in me by the state of New York, I pronounce you husband and wife. Mr. Reinhardt, you may kiss your bride. You'll never regret this, Philip. I promise. My Siegfried. My savior. I send you out to find more evidence against Reinhardt, and this is what you bring back? We supposed to apologize? Dental resin or no, Reinhardt is still the most viable suspect. And that bite is the most damning piece of evidence. I don't know what to do with this. And I don't want it falling in the wrong hands. I'll put it in my bottom drawer, counselor. You want it, you let me know. I don't relish the day. Fake teeth. Isn't that a little theatrical? Gillian Booth is theatrical. A mother killing her grown daughter is hard to take. I agree. But the evidence is pointing that way. Laura was trying to get the love of her mother's life fired. Philip's next job was gonna be out of state. Gillian might have freaked out that he'd be gone for good. Ah, sure. Angry enough at her daughter to lose control? Yeah, if her adrenaline was pumping in anger. Anger or panic. Panic? / She's not someone who handles surprises well. Take these subway maps we found in her dressing room. She marked her route from the opera to her apartment with a highlighter. And she used a different color to mark the route to her daughter's house. And she did the same thing on every single map. She's afraid of getting lost. Marking all these maps? That's not afraid. That's terrified. She highlight a subway stop in Queens? There's got a friend over there. Field cards from a patrolman Rossi of the 11-6. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I mean, Gillian Booth walking these streets? Me and my wife are big fans. Now, she promised she'd send me a picture. But after seeing how confused she was, I wasn't so sure she'd remember. But sure enough. In what way confused? Like a lost kid. She said she got on the J train by mistake. She was wandering around for about an hour. - Was she on anything? - Not that I could tell. I mean, she knew her name. She just didn't know how to get home. It was kind of sad. - See? - Great. What, did you put her in a cab back to the city? Uh, no. I called the bus, sent her over to st. Jim's. I gave her a bunch of my cards too. Next time she gets lost, she can call me. I'll come pick her up, I'll take her home. Great artist like her. EMERGENCY ROOM SAINTJAMES HOSPITAL THURSDAY, MARCH 2 You know I can't tell you anything about Ms. Booth without a waiver. You know, I don't think I phrased my question right, doctor. Let's say for instance, my poor, sweet mother comes in with symptoms like Mrs. Booth's. What would you say? Stroke? Maybe she mixed up her meds. - Your poor, sweet mother? - Yeah. I would have ruled out a stroke. My next guess would be a form of dementia. But if your poor, sweet mother is anything like Ms. Booth, she'd refuse a full exam. And why would his poor, sweet mother do that? Because she'd say she knew what was wrong, she'd seen it before, and she'd be fine. And what would happen next to my poor, sweet mother? - You'd let her leave? - Not alone. Ms. Booth couldn't follow simple directions to the washroom. At first, she wouldn't let me call anybody. But then she finally gave me her daughter's number. - Laura. - Yes, she said she'd come. After two hours, I finally called her again. She got real snippy, you know. Told me she had a rehearsal and couldn't get away. Ended up calling a car service. And you're sure there was no one else that Ms. Booth asked you to call? No. She said she didn't have anybody else. And her daughter was always too busy. I felt sorry for her. - Thank you, doc. - My pleasure. Well, whatever is wrong with her, maybe it's what's behind the panic that made her kill Laura. Well, she said she knew what she had. If she was being treated for it, there'll be records in the insurance company. Put that in the back room. And please, be careful. This room, my favorite room. Wagner. We saw this production, didn't we? We at, um... oh, that darn name. It's on the tip of my tongue. - Bayreuth. - Bayreuth. I always muddle it with, um... that middle Eastern city. Do you think there's room for a little desk for me? This room was designed for one person to work. Yes, of course. Your space, my darling. I've always loved the light in this room. Philip... don't ever forget how much I love the light in this room. I traced her medical care through the insurance clearing house. The only significant treatment she's received was for a broken leg three years ago. She said she'd seen this disease before. Maybe somebody in her family? Well, that was my next move. I ran her parents' names through the state death certificate database. Ten years ago, her father died of creutzfeldt-jacob disease. A form of dementia? Well, it's not just your garden variety dementia. It's a human variant of mad cow disease. It strikes without warning. One day the patient can't remember how to get to work, forgets the names of common household objects. Next thing to go is the ability to speak. Six months to a year, they're bedridden, their minds turn to swiss cheese. They're dead within three years. No treatment, no cure. Gillian knows this is what she has to look forward to? And she also has an uncle who died of it. So it's hereditary. It sometimes runs in families, but we don't know if it's genetic. Could be the whole family was exposed to the same environmental factor. How much time does she have? She's at the very early stages, but it's a very aggressive disease. A very aggressive patient. - What, she's dying? - Her brain's dying. By the end of the year, she'll be helpless, and she's terrified of being alone. So she kills the one person who might have cared for her? Oh, you mean Laura? Who left her waiting in the hospital because she was too busy playing her violin? Gillian has no other family? Closest thing is Reinhardt. A man she didn't trust enough to call when she was in trouble. Now that she's married to him, she must think he has to take care of her. I can't see an egomaniac like Reinhardt giving her sponge baths. We need to open her eyes. We can wait in here. They'll call us when they have enough guys to fill in the lineup. Where did you dredge up this eyewitness? Um, someone who lives in the apartment next door overlooking the opera house. Oh, by the way, congratulations on your marriage. / Thank you. Kind of sudden, wasn't it? The timing was Gillian's idea. A testament to her unequivocal belief in my innocence. I'll see how the others are doing. Gillian, she had her eye on you for quite a while. A testament to her good taste. I always wonder about women who chase men who so obviously don't wanna get caught. You ever ask yourself that about Gillian? You're not being fair to her. Well, we heard that you hacked a statue into pieces during a rehearsal. I don't censor myself during my creative process. Wasn't it because Gillian got a line wrong? I want to know why you brought me down here if I can't speak to him. It's been happening more often, lately, had... Wait, I want to hear what my husband's saying. I'm afraid not, Ms. Booth. Detective Logan's already stretching the rules having you in here at all. But this just cruel. And it's Mrs. Reinhardt. What do you say, captain? There's no secrets between husbands and wives. That's correct. No secrets. Actually, this is the report from the emergency room doctor who examined her. It confirms what the police officer observed. What doctor is she talking about? Is this about Laura? No, it's the doctor who examined you in Queens. You have no right to show him that. No secrets. That's what you said. I don't understand. What's wrong with her? Well, she has the same disease that killed her father and uncle. This is a summary of their autopsies. It describes pretty clearly the course of the disease. How can you... Don't show him that. It's irresponsible. I, it's not definite I have the same thing. I think you know it's the same. You told the doctor you recognized it. That's what the next three years of your marriage look like. You'll have to feed her, bathe her, and attend to her most personal hygiene. My god, what have I got myself into? Philip, calm down. Calm down? Have you read this? She'll have spasms every day. Then there's the infections and the bed sores... Oh, stop, stop! I can't handle it! Philip, there are nurses, hospices... Hospices won't take her until the very end. Until then, she'll be your 24/7 responsibility. All the sounds and smells of her disintegration. God, this insentient, incontinent lump of flesh. I can't be around it! I can't! What a prince, huh? He'll get over it. He'll take care of me. In sickness and in health. I have the room picked out. It's a very beautiful room. He already thinks that you blackmailed him into marriage. - That's not true. - He's gonna let you die alone. His own wife? It'd get out. His peers, his public. They'd find out what kind of a husband he is. Letting the great Gillian Booth rot away. His vanity couldn't stand it. He'd, he'd... be shamed into action! Yeah, as long as he was your husband, maybe. I wonder what my partner is saying to him now. What is she saying? Well, in that red file is a report of the search we did in your dressing room and the dental resin we found on the sink in your bathroom. I think your husband's about to find out how he got that bite mark on his neck. Please don't. Stop her. Don't let him see it. Please stop her. This should be interesting. Sneaky, pathetic bitch. Frame me for murder. How could she? It was to blackmail you into a marriage. I was duped. - I want an annulment. - Yes, Philip. File the papers today. I'll call the movers. I want her out of my home. Every last trace of her. I don't care if she dies in the gutter! No! No, Philip! Don't say that! - He's leaving. / No, please. - Go talk to him, talk to him. - Philip! - Stay away from me, you murderous... - Philip, no! - Tell him you did it for him. I did it for you. She was going to destroy you. Have you fired. Your own daughter, that's how much you loved him. My daughter. I killed her for, for you. My savior. My Siegfried. Please don't leave me. What would I want you for? Look at you. A mad cow. Philip! Phil... Philip. What's gonna happen to me? - Come on, Gillian. - Who's gonna look after me? It'll be the taxpayers of the state of New York who'll be taking care of her. She's only got three years left to live. You're not gonna throw the book at her, are you? I'm sure she'll be receptive to a plea that lands her in the Bedford prison hospital. You think any of those tears are for her daughter? Yeah, me neither. Um, did I not mention to you my new philosophy? Of saying yes. Does that mean you want me to... Yes. And he's sincere and easygoing, and sexy, I just really like him. Daddy? Christine. What? - That's my date. - That's my father. - You're father? - Your date? You got to be freaking kidding me. Don't answer that. Hi, we're not home right now. So leave a message for Christine, - Ritchie, - and... say it. Matthew. Oh, come on. Hi, Christine, this is Jeff. Haven't heard from you since our date. Don't know if you got my message so I thought I'd leave another one. I'm hoping that you didn't get the first message, because now there'd be two messages on your machine and that would make me look not cool. And I think we both know how cool I am. Bye. Well, he sounds cool. Why aren't you talking to him? I thought you liked him. No, I do like him but he's new Christine's dad. I mean we had a great first date and everything but don't you think that's weird? That he wants a second date with you-- absolutely. Shut up. You'd marry me in a second. Besides, I'm too busy to date. Well, call me when you're free. What are you doing? I finally decided to get my act together. Wait, this isn't about your audition tape for So You Think You Can Dance. No, not that act. Ooh, although I did watch that tape the other day and I don't think I can dance... I can dance. I have decided to get organized. You know how I'm always writing little reminders to myself on little scraps of paper, and then nothing ever gets done? Well, from now on, everything I have to do is going on this board. Come on, help me. - This one has gum in it. - All right. Well, then skip it, give me another one. "Get dry erase board." Huh. What do I do, should I write it down then cross it out? God, I don't know. This has never happened before. Okay, give me another one. What's a witch detective? Oh, that's my idea for a TV show. - Oh, that's really good. - Yeah. All right, um, oh, here. Grandparents' Day-- this Friday. Write that down. What's Grandparents' Day? Oh, it's another way Ritchie's school has of getting money. They invite all the grandparents for a pancake breakfast, and try to get them to include Westbridge into their wills. Wait... uh, Mom and Dad are coming here this weekend? You can't just spring this on me. I told them I was on sabbatical. Uh, where was I? When did I get back? What the hell is a sabbatical? Relax, they're not coming to see you. They're going straight to school, say hi to Ritchie and be out of there before their beers get warm. Don't answer that. Hi, we're not home right now, so leave a message for Christine, - Ritchie, - and... say it. Matthew. Oh, come on. Hey, it's me, just thought I'd true you again. Get that, I'll wait. I'm at the door. She's coming. I didn't want to just stop by, but it was either this or drop leaflets on your lawn from a plane, so, here I am. I was going to return your calls but I've been super-duper busy. Yeah, since Witch Detective took off, we hardly see her anymore. Get out. Come on in. What-what, um, what are you doing here? Well, I can't stop thinking about our date. I thought it... it was great. But then, when you didn't call me back, I thought maybe it wasn't great. And then I started thinking about the other things I thought were great, and maybe they weren't great either. I-Is baseball great? Is democracy great? I-I don't know anymore. No, it was; it was a great date. So let's go on another one. Oh, I don't know. You're my ex-husband's girlfriend's father. I mean... isn't that a little weird? Give it one more chance. One date. And if it's still weird, we'll just give it one more chance. Oh, you're her father. But when I'm with you, I'm not thinking about Old Christine. What-- who? Oh, sorry, it's just that I've known my daughter longer, so I refer to you as New Christine, which makes her Old Christine. Well, one more date wouldn't kill me. So... second date wasn't so bad, was it? No. In fact, I think it was better than our first date. Wonder what's going to happen on our third date? Well, I'll give you a little hint: If it's anything like my previous third dates... you might want to work on your home run trot. So you're still feeling okay about everything? Yeah, you know, so what if it's a little weird. Yeah, some of my best relationships have been a little weird. And when it's just us, not weird at all. - Mmm. - Mmm. - Hey, Daddy. - Hey, Christine. - Hey, Christine. - Hey, Christine. - Hey, Christine. - Hey, Richard. - Hey, Mom. - Hey, Ritchie. Hey, Christine. I think we're done. I-I have to go, Mom. No, they're calling us back to the sabbatical room. Yeah, of course it has a room. Uh, do you even know what a sabbatical is? Oh, it is? Okay, I-I love you. I do show it. I have to go. Bad news. Mom and Dad can't make Grandparents' Day. Why not? Dad's run out of miles on his car lease, Mom did some calculations and, at 15 cents a mile, it just wasn't worth it. Does this mean I can't go to Grandparents' Day? No, of course not, sweetie. You know what, Uncle Matthew will go as your special friend. I don't want to go with a special friend. The only one in my grade who has a special friend is that weird kid with the gray hair. To be honest, I'm also getting a little uncomfortable introducing myself as a nine-year-old boy's "special friend." Daddy, maybe you could go as Ritchie's grandfather. You guys had so much fun when we went miniature golfing the other day. Well, I'd be happy to, if Ritchie wants me to. Yeah, that'd be great! What? ! No, no. I'm sorry, that's not appropriate. Appropriate? You once dated your cousin. Second cousin. And he asked me out. Besides, it would be confusing. Jeff is way too young to be a grandfather. No, I'm not. Yes, you are. Your hands don't shake; you've heard of TiVo. You can't be a grandfather. Yes, I can. No, you can't. But I am a grandfather. No, you're not. Yes, I am. I have two grandchildren from Christine's sister. No, you don't. Yes, I do. Their names are Sasha and Caleb. No, they're not. He's such a good grandfather. Those kids love their Papa Jeff.. P... Papa Jeff? That's what they call me. Please can I go with Papa Jeff? I don't have anyone else to go with. Uh... F... Fine, Ritchie. He can go with you. - Who can go with him? - Shut up. Hello, everyone. I'd like to welcome you to the Westbridge school Grandparents' Day. I'm Marcy Nunley; I'm the new principal here at Westbridge. And I'd especially like to welcome all of our grandparents, our parents and special friends- - Hi. I know those pancakes are tasty, but this event is really about raising money for our children and our school. Remember our theme: "You can't take it with you, and we'd love to have it." I'm really glad you let me come. Yeah, me too. So is this considered our third date? Because I brought my batting glove. Your mother looks like she's having a good time. No, she's just had so many face lifts, her mouth is stuck that way. The kids call her the Joker. I think it upsets her. How can you tell? Oh, hey, look-- it's Christine. Who's she with? Is that her dad? It must be. Wow, he's so handsome and well-dressed. Oh, she must take after her mother. Oh, God, that's good. You know, sometimes, I wish I was the funny one and you were the pretty one. I think those two women are staring at us. Ugh, ignore them. Those are the meanie moms. They're awful-- all they do is judge everyone and gossip. Should I step away? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me? Because if you'd rather be with one of the other grandfathers, I completely understand. You know, I can honestly say that you are the only grandfather I have ever wanted to be with. - Oh! Hello. - Daddy's girl. I'm going to bring Ritchie his pancakes. Okay. I'm going to get us some coffee. I'll be right over there. - Hi, Christine. - Hi. You having a nice Grandparents' Day? Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am. You seem to have a very close family. Yes, you certainly seem to be daddy's best girl. W hat? Oh. Ew! Oh, no. That's not my father. No, no, no. That's New Christine's father. Why were you kissing him? Um, because I'm, um... I'm sort of dating him. You're dating your ex-husband's girlfriend's father? Yeah. That's right. Well, you know, Christine, if we don't tell you enough, we are so happy you're at this school. That's nice. Ugh! I got so distracted by those meanie moms, I left my pancakes at the buffet. Well, have some of mine. Oh, thank... Mmm. Thank you. Can I have a bite, Daddy? Do you want some more, Princess? - No, I'm good. - No, thank you. Oh. I think he was talking to me. Actually, he's called me Princess since I was a baby. My dad called me Frizz. - Hey, Mom. - Hi, sweetie. Uh, can I go show my art project to Papa Jeff? Ritchie, don't call him that. It makes your mom feel preposterous. No, it doesn't. I'm completely fine. Yes, Ritchie, go show your project to Pa... Papa Jeff. Okay, Ritchie, but we better stop by the nurse's office and have your hearing checked. I think you got something in your ear... oh! Awesome! Did you...? What is it about grandpas that they can always find change in kids' ears? I know you're really enjoying yourself, Richard, but I just want you to know, it doesn't bother me at all. - It doesn't? - No. Not even a little bit? I said it doesn't bother me. Yeah, I've decided to do this. I'm going all the way. In fact, today counts as our third date, so when I say I'm going all the way, I mean, I'm going to... - Mrs. Nunley. Hi. - Hi. I just wanted to make sure I got to say hi to all the grandparents. Oh. Unfortunately, my parents couldn't make it this year. Oh. Oh, that's too bad. And you are...? Oh, I'm Christine Campbell. I'm Ritchie's mom. - Oh, of course. Hi. - Hi. We invited my father instead. Oh, fantastic. And you must be...? I'm also Christine. His girlfriend. Oh, I see. Which would make you...? I'm Ritchie's dad, her ex-husband. Her boyfriend. Hi. I know it sounds a little complicated, but I'm fine with it. It works for me, so nothing else really matters. - Oh, my God! - What? I just thought of the greatest thing. If New Christine and I get married, and you and Jeff get married, you'll be my mother-in-law. No, I won't. The fourth grade class will now sing a song to those important people in our lives we call grandparents. Hey, Christine, what do you have when mother-in-law's up to her neck in concrete? Not enough concrete. Funny. It was funny 20 minutes ago, and it's funny now. # You're a grand old man, # # you're a generous man # # And we love how you # # give to our school # # With your silver hair # # You were there last year, # # when we needed an Olympic pool # # Should auld # # acquaintance you forget # # Just remember # # we need your check! # Did you enjoy the singing, Mother Campbell? You still got it. I got another one: What do you have when your mother-in-law is up to her neck in quicksand? I hate you? Close. Sand that's not quick enough. Oh, hey, I got one. What did the mother-in-law do to thejackass? What? Ow! Don't pay attention to him, Christine. What the hell is wrong with you now? I'm just so happy. I love my dad so much, and I've always respected you. And now that you're together, it's just so great. You know, I never had a very close relationship with my mother. We hardly ever talked. And I got my period at a very young age. Oh, my God, I-I got to get out of here. I-I can't breathe. I don't know why I let myself get close. Christine, hold on. I don't want to hear any more jokes. Come on, you joke about New Christine all the time. Like how she's so dumb, she has to take off her shirt to count to two. Or when you killed that moth, and you said she moved up on the brain donor list. Well, that's different. That's funny. Anyway, it's not just your lame jokes, Richard. It's everything. It's the pancakes and the princess and the periods. She's not my daughter. I don't want to be her mother. I thought you liked Papa Jeff. I do. I did. I-I don't know. I just... I've just got to get home. Wait. What do I tell people? I don't know. Just tell them I got sick. That was my mother-in-law. She had to leave. Her broom was double-parked. It's funny. Oh, I'm glad you're home. I went through all your papers and completely organized your life for the next two months. Everything is color-coded, according to type of activity: Home, Work, Ritchie or Personal, and I devised this dot system to indicate priority. I think you're, uh, really going to like it. I may be wrong. What are you doing? I'm sorry, but this situation with Jeff is getting more and more complicated. I need the board. I need to chart what our family tree would look like if Richard married New Christine and I married her father. Okay. Let's put it on the board. Okay. Write my name in the middle of the board. Yes. Now write Richard next to me, and connect us with a line. A broken line. Thank you. And then put Ritchie underneath us. Yes. And then put New Christine next to Richard. And write... P... Pa... Papa Jeff up there. That is correct. Now draw a line from New Christine up and across and over to me, and... Oh, my God. I'm Ritchie's grandmother. Where should I put me? Oh, who cares? Just go next to me. All right, now what we have to figure out is what would happen if we had a baby. You and me? What? No. Ew! Why would we have a baby? I don't know. Let's just play with it. Okay, stop it! Matthew, stop! Come on, draw a line from me and Papa Jeff down to our daughter. Why daughter? I don't know. I figure, at my age, it's more likely I'd have a daughter. At your age, it's more likely you'd have dust. Matthew, would you please help me? Sorry. What's your daughter's name? Um... I don't know- - Jordan. Really? What about Kayla? Yeah, that's nice, too. - Oh, I know. How about Emma? - Oh, that's good. Hey, what about Pockets? Pockets? ! No. It's Emma. Oh... my God. Emma is my daughter and my granddaughter, and Ritchie's sister and Ritchie's aunt. And if we had Emma, she'd be your daughter and niece, and Ritchie's sister and cousin. What? What? ! Why are you doing this? Why do you keep trying to make us have a baby? ! I don't know. I don't know why I'm doing any of this. Who is it? Is everything okay? Richard told me you had diarrhea. Oh, God. Should I put it on the board? Get out. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. I don't have... that. What happened? Why did you leave? I don't know. I just freaked out. I had to come home and get it straight. I charted what our family tree would look like. - Looks confusing. - Confusing? ! Connect the dots, you get a map of freakin' Alabama! Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself? No, I'm not. - Who's Emma? - That's our daughter. Hey, Jeff... today, at Ritchie's school, with everybody there, I got a glimpse of what the future would be like, and it is so messed up. Is that because you and Matthew have a baby? Okay, stop-- stop looking at the board, okay? I... Oh! I like you a lot. And I like you. So why can't we just look past the other stuff? Look, you've got to understand this from my point of view. I mean, what if I said that, in order to date me, we'd have to hang out with your ex-wife and her husband? I'd rather have diarrhea. Exactly. I mean, it's great when it's just us, but it's never going to be just us. It's always going to be weird. Isn't this a conversation for way down the line? No. Way down the line, I'm going to be in love with you, and then it's going to be too painful to tell you I don't want to do this. You don't want to do this? It's just... It's too incestuous. You dated your second cousin. Actually, he was my first cousin. And I asked him out. I think you're making a mistake. Yeah. That's what my aunt said. No. No. About us. What? Oh, yes. No. Yeah, probably, I am. I'm sorry. Okay. Well... it was a great two-and-a-half dates. And I'd be willing to round it up to three if you want to. I don't think so. I hope you're sure about this, because once I leave, I'm not coming back. Unless you want me to. Bye, New Christine. Bye. That is one hot grandpa. I see, you are the Makoto of the Bake Neko! I see, you are the Makoto of the Bake Neko! Please tell me. What can you achieve by talking? What can be achieved? That is already out of control. Soon, I'll be killed by that. To you, it doesn't matter if you survive or die, but to me, I must definitely kill it. In order to do that, I need you to talk. The one who turned it into a demon was you, and thus, you have an obligation to talk. Obligation? It is just a grudge filled story. I have wasted my life living to this age, to actually be intimidated by that... Final Act That girl, Tamaki was a sacrificial offering. It slowly became inevitable, as if and leaned towards me. Because of how things ended up, it would have been pitiful if I had taken her home. So, I let her wear beautiful clothes and eat delicious food. That was the only thing that I could do. I hoped days like that would arrive and continue on forever. So, I wasted away that young life. It was a regrettable ending. And so... You are saying that the grudge that the woman had possessed the cat, and turned it into a Bake Neko? What the... Old master... I guess she couldn't allow anyone from this house to get married. Which means that woman's grudge is beyond redemption. It is your turn to talk! Your turn! Who are you referring to? I only did what I was told. It's not my fault! It's not my fault! I was just used by you! I was just following orders! I couldn't rebel against it, even though it was something bad! It's cruel! Cruel, cruel, cruel! It's too cruel! Odajima-sama! What is still missing? Old master! Sato-san! Answer me! It's not my fault, it's not my fault. It's not my fault, it's not my fault. Sato-san! Sato-san! Sato-san! Move! Sasaoka-sama, open the door, please open the door! Yoshikuni-sama, Yoshikuni-sama! Yoshikuni! Yoshikuni! Yoshikuni! Yoshikuni! You are always looking at me with those eyes... those eyes! Treating me as a fool! You will eventually end up in hell anyway! Yoshikuni! Kayo, I'm coming now! You are supposed to be protecting me. Old... mas...ter... The way people think and the way demons think are different... I beg of you... I beg of you! I beg of you, I beg of you, I beg of you, I beg of you! Think of something! Odajima-sama's request, together with this... I am left with no other choice. Come forth, the Makoto and the Kotowari is known! The sword... shall be unsheathed! What! This... you let me see this? You deserve it! It is best that everyone dies! Good, good... cat... you are a good boy... No! Save me! This is the past. Please show us everything, until the end. It has been a while. I'm coming in to take a look. Are you used to this place? You are not eating? Then I will stop bringing it to you, since it's a waste of food to feed you. Cat... Oh right... Oh my, you ate it all of a sudden. You irritate me. Eat more... Cat, cat... Good, good. Eat more if you like it. Good, good. You are a good boy. Good boy. Don't make any noise. Father has been obsessed with you lately. How pitiful... Cat, cat, you are a good boy living by his whims. Yoshikuni. F-Father? You... when did you... You are just a commoner. Know your place, you filthy beast! You are unforgivable, unforgivable, unforgivable, unforgivable! Unforgivable! What is this you bastard! You are just a lowly beast! Run. You must go to the world outside. Cat... cat... run... My adorable... adorable... cat... cat... Go by yourself. Good...bye... Please leave the rest to me, Sasaoka. Bake Neko, I know your Makoto and your Kotowari. I finally know everything. Your Makoto... and your Kotowari is known... The sword... shall be unsheathed! UNSHEATHE. I have seen enough of how you act. I won't fear you anymore. I won't be intimidated by this scene and this bloodlust. Brace yourself, I won't forgive you! Vanish! Won't it be bothered resting by this mansion? It would probably want to be near Tamaki-san. I hope it'll get to live with Tamaki-san this time around. It's the end for this house. The thing that I have been protecting, it has been destroyed... I did not lie to you. I told you the Makoto. Is that so? That is the Makoto behind you? The thing that you were trying to protect. Take a good look at it. What are you going to do from now on? Where are you going now? That's not something that you should be asking me. Odajima-sama, isn't that the thing you are thinking the most about right now? I am thinking of going back to my old village. I can't stay here any more. As for me... No, I'm not going to force my opinion on you. Because no one has the right to control another person. Hey, medicine seller. How did today's wedding go? Come here, come here. Cat, cat. Come this way. Come here, come here. No one else has come out since you went in. Hmm no. (female announcer) Previously on Angela's Eyes... Where's the box? What box? (Angela) The Anderson family time capsule. Oh, you mean that thing that we buried with Mom and Dad when we were kids? I came here to, uh, to wish you a happy birthday. Great, you act like this is a birthday present. This is our family time capsule. This is a clue, Ang. You know, I could never keep track of how many shirts were at the cleaner's. Maybe you should check. See if I left any there. Oh. [laughing] Oh, my gosh. Are you kidding me? Angela got some papers from an old Korean cleaner. They're in a bright red folder. And I want them. What the hell are you doing, Dylan? Nothing. Cut the crap, dog. Stealing glances at these papers? Yeah, that made me suspicious. Can't we just forget all this? You're walking out that door, and you're never seeing her again. Who sent you? I can't tell you that. Jack Stillman. The Fixer. The I.R.S. says he made $16 million last year working for media companies, politicians-- And the occasional crime figure. I understand that I'm a person of interest to you. Who told you that? I know everything that happens in this city, Special Agent. You interfere with this investigation again, whether it be paying people to lie or encouraging them to withhold evidence, I'll bring you down, Stillman. Well, you're welcome to try. But I should warn you that better people than you have failed. sync: FRM@uranus Oh, see, now, this is good art. It tells a story. Good art has to tell a story? Can't it inspire a feeling, set a mood? It's funny. When Dana and I went to the museum last weekend-- Man, that's the fourth Dana reference today. [laughing] That's not-- That's not true. Really? Four? Four. And that already includes two about the museum. I don't care. I called the police. I had no idea the FBI would be involved. Well, the locals asked us to help. You know, chances are with a collection this valuable, it'll end up across state lines. [sighs] I can't believe this. We just opened last night. Leo, you're not looking at this right. It's a woman lamenting the fate of her child. It's tragic. No, Dozer, you're not getting it. It's a mother experiencing the joy of being a parent in the face of danger. It's uplifting. It's evidence. It's a photo of evidence. Now, if only we knew where it and the rest of Gus Walker's stolen art was. So what's next, movie or your place? How about my place? Thank you. Think you could, uh, carry me there? Are you kidding, I can easily carry an extra hundred and... two pounds on my back. 110, but nice save. What if you hadn't come into Higher Ground for coffee last week? You'd be walking all alone right now. What if you hadn't given me a free coffee, 'cause you dumped an entire tray of iced tea on my lap? So do we get any more beverage-spilling opportunities any time soon? I don't know about the next few days. My grandfather's coming to town, so he can celebrate his birthday with me and my sister. That's so cute. Not high on my list of words I use to describe my grandfather. He's an international corporate lawyer. He cares more about work than anything else. Sounds like someone is dreading something. Well, he hates me. So I can think of a number of places I'd rather be. (Dozer) Nothing good on the surveillance footage from the reception. Unless you consider guests sipping Chardonnay and eating mini-quiches helpful. That's Walker. Staying next to the woman in the hat. He pretty much spent his time glad-handing and listening to people "ooh" and "aah" about his art. That's all we got. The tape finishes when the party ends. Maybe it was sabotage. I mean, Walker's a pretty controversial guy. Yeah, maybe the theft was a political statement. Someone did vandalize some of his pieces at an exhibit three years ago. Never caught the guy. Well, the only thing is that this was his least controversial series in years. Maybe we should be looking elsewhere. (Walker) I don't believe this! You're telling me someone just waltzed in here and stole my work? That's two years of my life, Marla! Gus, honey, that's exactly what we're trying to find out. Mr. Walker, Special Agent Henson, FBI. What about surveillance, huh? I mean, there's security cameras here everywhere. Someone disconnected them. Actually, uh, they were turned off. Well, either way. No, not exactly. No, they weren't broken or disconnected. They were shut down by someone with a password. This was an inside job. So I'm gonna get to see you sometime this week,aren't I? I don't know. [giggling] I guess that's a yes? [laughs] Get your hands up. Don't--don't shoot us! Give me the bag! Now! Okay, okay. Give it to him. Give it to him! The purse. Give it to me. He's gone. It's okay. It's okay. (Leo) The receptionist's alibi checks out. She was outta here by 10:45 last night. Same with Marla's assistant. Her roommate said that she was home all night. That leaves only two people. Marla and Gus. Can you think of any reason that an artist would want to steal his own art? Publicity. There are more reasons for a gallery owner to do it. Insurance. Selling the work without having to give Gus a cut. Maybe you should talk to Ms. Saffer some more. You can't actually believe I took Gus's work. What would you believe if you were me? You have motive, the insurance money. Or not giving Gus his cut. Gus and I have been friends since college. He did me a favor by showing here. I would never betray him. Okay, um, let's say I believe you. Who else has the password? Besides myself, my assistant and Gus. Why would Gus have it? He's been working around the clock, putting finishing touches on his pieces for the exhibit. He was taking photos as late as last week. Are you looking for suspects? I'll give you suspects. What about the guy who wrecked my work three years ago, huh? Or what about those jerks that stole my painting from the museum last month? Why aren't you guys out there looking for them? Because you're lying about something, Mr. Walker. I don't e. I don't lie in my life and not in my work, got it? Someone besides me wanted my art off these walls. Go find them! (Colin) Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. He didn't hurt us. It's just that I don't think it was random. What do you mean? Well, the mugger went for my bag first. He only seemed to take Sondra's purse as an afterthought. You know that thing Angela got from the cleaners? I think the mugger thought I had it in my bag. You know, luckily, I didn't. There's part of it I just--I can't-- I can't figure out. It's some kind of a code. Code. Jerry. Have you been paying your bills? Well... I've moved around a lot. I haven't had a lot of consistent bills, per se. But you have a checking account. You've had one since you were a kid. mething due on the tenth. You think Marla and Walker are in on it together? Marla was telling the truth about wanting to sell Gus' work. Maybe Walker had money troubles. Stole his own artwork to sell it on the black market. So he'd cut Marla out of her share? What do we know about Walker's background? Anything out of the ordinary? Not so far. (Angela) I know Walker's lying about something. Let's take a closer look at him, okay? It's funny-- (Leo) Oh, boy. Here we go. What? Every time you start a sentence with, "It's funny," you're about to segue into a story about Dana that has absolutely nothing to do with what we're talking about. That's not true. Okay, that's true. And you've been dressing nicer for the past week or so. Is that a new shirt? Yeah, Dana picked it out for me. You like it? Mm-hmm. You know, it's funny-- Yo. Yo. I thought you were out with Sandra, the waitress. Sondra, the coffee server. Oh, well, maybe I'd know how to pronounce her name if you'd introduce me to her. Stop it. Well, that's funny that you mention that. What are you doing tomorrow? Uh... Meeting Sondra, the coffee server. in what, uh, two years? Three. But, um... She might be someone special, so it's important for me that she meets you. All right, bring her by. Oh, by the way, Grandfather called. Lunch is at 12:30. Day after tomorrow. Does the guy have to have a birthday every single year? Come on, Jerry, you're the one that's always talking about letting go of the past. He did the best that he could when we were kids. That's easy for you to say. You only defend him because he likes you, and he loves hearing about your work. Grandpa likes you. [laugh] Wow. It's amazing. And ironic,if I may say, what a bad liar you are Okay, so maybe he likes me a tad more. But that's only because you remind him so much of Dad. Hmm, I see that you've been looking at the papers again. Mm-hmm. You want to tell me what's going on? Okay. Don't freak. I got mugged today. You got mugged? ! Not freaking, remember? I think someone's after the papers. How do you know that? Just tell me what happened. All right, since Mom couldn't help you with the encryption, I went to see Dad today. Yeah? He said that there might be something in the time capsule that could help me decode the papers. Really. It's-- It's under the bed. Hello? (Leo on phone) Angela. Hey, Leo. I've been researching our artist. He's got no money troubles. No history of illicit or suspicious dealings. He's clean. Except for the fact that he was lying about something (Leo) Yeah, but what? Maybe it's time to have another conversation with Mr. Walker. I've already thought of that, but he's not answering his phone. I guess we're just gonna have to pay him a visit, then. All right. I'll meet you there. Okay. Bye. Okay. I have to go. Yeah, don't worry. I got it covered. Save me some food. Gus Walker? This is the FBI. Careful. Guess his stolen art isn't an issue anymore. Okay. Yes, ma'am. Why would Walker steal his own work? And who killed him? Someone who knew what they were doing. No signs of a struggle. Clean shot. It's professional. I've got another question. Where's the tenth piece? The tenth piece? Yeah, there are nine recovered pieces here. The surveillance from the gallery shows that Walker had ten photo collages in the show. So where's the tenth piece? That was my question. ? who's here to pay me a visit. Special Agent Henson, how are you? I'm working. Jack. What can I do for you? Gus Walker was a friend of mine. I didn't know you had friends. Only clients. I helped Walker out with an exhibit he had an issue with a few years ago. Some vandalism, some threats. Double-speak for hired muscle to threaten whoever was vandalizing Walker's work. I made some arrangements. So what are you doing here now? Well, I got to know Walker pretty well, so I, uh... you know, thought you might... use some help. What's your real angle, Jack? And don't bother telling me how much you cared about the guy or what an art lover you are. Don't underestimate my appreciation for the finer things in life, Angela. And don't underestimate my skepticism of you offering to help. I'll pass along your condolences. Fine. I need to see Walker's files. And you think I'd disrupt a crime scene for that? Just hear me out. When the exhibit was vandalized, I put Walker in touch with an associate of mine. Name? Vincent Fredel. I promised Fredel that I would make sure there was nothing compromising about him in Walker's papers. (Leo) Angela. I need a word. I'm sorry I can't help you, Jack. But I admire you for trying. (Leo) So not only is the tenth piece missing, but so are the negatives for the photos that make up that piece. They're the only ones that are gone. All the other photos and their negatives are still here. So someone was only after the one piece. And know it's not worth more than the others. Well, maybe it's not about the value of the piece. Maybe it's about what's in the piece itself? Only problem is, we don't know what was in the piece, because it's gone. (Leo) Along with the negatives. So how do we figure out what it looks like? Well, that's where I come in. Okay, I've isolated the missing paintings from the surveillance footage. Now I'm going to try and identify the different photos Walker used to compose the piece. Would it be easier for you if we weren't watching? (Dozer) Yeah, gimme a couple seconds here. So someone got Walker to use his pass code to steal the entire exhibit, but it was only a cover. So they could take the one piece they really wanted. Why would Walker agree to that? And who would want that one piece? Henry Calhoun? I'm Colin Anderson's son. I swear. Go ahead, ask me anything. You could have answers prepared for anything I ask. Look, all I care about is finding out what's in the encrypted part of these papers. Is that all? All I care about is getting a million dollars and watching Pamela Anderson clean my apartment in that red bathing suit. How about starting with you telling me what you know? I know the U.S. was paying Russian spies for their secrets. Alexi Karasyov was one of those spies. When the Wall went down, the United States wanted to send him back to Russia, but my parents, Colin and Lydia Anderson, protected him. Now they're in prison for the rest of their lives, and there's something in these papers that can prove that they were set up. But I don't know what it is. Because it's in code. You father told you that I wrote the encryption in these documents. Now, the part that you can't decipher confirms the existence of a man who wanted to turn over the spies to the USSR. There was one man responsible for having the Russians killed? Yes. One man behind the entire frame-up? Who is he? I have no idea. Doesn't specify a name. I'd tell you if I knew. (Dozer) Okay, these are the photographs that make up the collage. But this is the one I'd say we should be interested in. How come? Because this is Chameleon. (Angela) Chameleon? The assassin? Yeah, I remembered what you'd said about Walker's death looking professional. So I ran this picture through the database. Watch. It's a match. She's called Chameleon because she can transform into anyone she wants. (Angela) I've seen her. She was at the gallery on opening night. She must have gone there to threaten Gus into stealing his art back. And once she got her hands on that piece and the negatives, she killed him. Uh-oh. What uh-oh? Well, she's pacing. That can't be good. Would Chameleon really kill Walker just for catching her on film? You think there's something else? There has to be. Such as? I don't know. That's what we have to find out. I hate it when she says that. (Angela) Whoo! Oh, oh. I forgot you were coming. Hi. You must be Sondra. Hi. Yeah, sorry. I, uh... I brought cookies. Oh, wow. Uh... Cookies. Thank you. I know, that's weird, isn't it? Is--is that weird? No, it's--it's great. It's great. I love cookies. [clears throat] So you want to just, uh, come into the kitchen with me, and we'll get us all something to drink? Sondra? Water? Milk? Uh, I, whatever. Okay. She's hot, right? Seems...sweet. I've been dying to find out if anything panned out with Dad's lead. I tracked down a guy named Henry who encrypted the papers. He said there was one person who ordered the hits on the five spies. One person behind Mom and Dad's cover-up. But Henry says he doesn't know who it is. Well, we have to find out. But how are we gonna-- [phone rings] Damn it. Let the machine get it. Hello? Any closer to finding Gus Walker's killer? How did you get this number? Come on, Special Agent Henson. Why do I even ask? You really should consider using me as a resource on Walker. I don't need you as a resource. Well, for, uh, someone with no leads, you're quick to throw away free information. What could you possibly know that I don't already have? Something I'm unwilling to share on the phone. Meet me at King Street Lounge in ten minutes. I'll be gone in 15, along with the info. [hangs up phone] I have to go. But what about-- And don't go anywhere. We're gonna work on this as soon as I get back, okay? Okay. Okay? Would I lie to you? Um, Sondra... I'm sorry, I gotta go. But thanks for the cookies. Bye. Nice to meet you. (Angela) Nice to meet you, too. So. You're just here to help me get information about Gus Walker, huh? That's right. Glass of Chardonnay for the lady, please. Thanks. Come on, Jack. You don't have any new information for me. You just want to get to Walker's files to see if there's anything in there about your friend Fredel. Not gonna work. Come on. Can't a guy do two things at once? I liked Gus. You know, he was a major talent. Agreed. The tragedy of this thing is that he lived in fear because of how controversial his work was, but this last series wasn't political at all. So you followed his career. Even after you stopped working for him? I'm not nearly as... one-dimensional as you think I am, Special Agent Henson. Oh, is that right? You know, that's what Walker was trying to say with these photos. It was about the way we perceive one another. An issue that you are sensitive about. Maybe. Are you? You're wasting my time, Jack. I mean, what'd you do? Run an Internet search on the guy or something? I'm interested in his work. Uh-huh. [dialing cell phone] Let's talk about this latest series, right? The photos are reflections of one another, right? Reflections in lakes, reflections in people's eyes. Pictures of people taking pictures. There were, uh-- He was taking pictures of people taking pictures? Yeah. I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I actually owe you one, Jack. Thank you. So you'll be getting me those files, then? Oh, I'll get back to you on that one. [dialing phone] Dozer, I think I know why the Chameleon killed Walker. So I'm standing in line, which is already annoying enough, and this chick-- Are you listening to me? No, no, baby, I'm sorry. I just... I got stuff on my mind. So this chick, she takes a step back, and she steps on my foot, right? And... Yeah? I'll be right back. I'm gonna go check my messages. So, was I right? Give me a second. Yep. Chameleon was carrying a camera. Shoot it to me. So she was taking pictures of a building? She was staking out the place. These pictures could've been taken months ago. Well, maybe not. Marla said that Walker was adding last-minute photos to the exhibit. So she is in town to kill someone. And this is the site of her hit. Hey. Hey. I'm--look, I'm sorry. I... Are you okay? Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just... I got a lot of stuff to do, you know? Can I take a rain check? Sure. Catch up with you later? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Bye. Are we way off base here? Maybe we're chasing after something that doesn't even exist. Has anyone ever told you to stick to your first instinct? I've heard it once or twice. I'm sure you have. I want 'em at least another 15 feet back from the stage. Officer, hi. What's going on here? Setting up for tomorrow. Tomorrow? Big human rights celebration. Joseph Dellaman's giving a speech. The ex-political prisoner? The rally's here. He's giving his speech in the square. Well, I think we found our target. No. No, no. Oh, I'm so stupid. Oh, Mr. Dellaman. Hi, Special Agent Henson, FBI. Thank you for coming. We're grateful for the warning. Well, you should know that our people will be at the rally regardless, looking for the individual planning the attempt. Once word gets out Mr. Dellaman won't be attending the rally, I'm sure she'll be long gone. I hope that won't be the case, but unfortunately, you may be right. Have a good day. (Angela) Jerry. I said 12:30. Grandfather's gonna be here any minute. [sighs] What's wrong? Hey. Are you okay? What? The girl was only after the papers. Sondra? The papers are gone. She took the papers? I tried calling her. The line's disconnected. I even went to the coffee shop. Turns out she doesn't even work there. She totally faked me out. I don't believe this. How could you let this happen, Jerry? Thank you, Miss "I'm in love with Dylan the spy." Wait. I'm confused, because the papers are right here. They've been switched. How do you know that? They're in Russian. Because I speak Russian. Sure, Jerry. Ask me to say something. Okay, um... Say, "I've been lying to my sister about speaking Russian." [speaking Russian] And you wonder why I don't trust you. [dramatic music] I swear to God, sometimes I feel like I know you better than anyone else on the planet, and then there's other times that I--I feel like I don't even know you at all! I'm sorry-- Why would you keep something like that from me? Because I wanted to protect you. I've done some things I'm not especially proud of over the last five years. Like what? There was a time I was running from arms dealers in Tunisia. I didn't have a weapon, and they were chasing me, so I-- You know what? Stop. You're right, I don't want to hear this right now. I'm sorry about the papers. It's all right. I'm just glad that you're okay. [sighing] Great. Angela. Yes. There are things you don't know about me. But seriously, there is no question you are the closest person to me on the planet. And why do we care if he's a deserter? We've already talked about this. - Hi guys. - Welcome, bro. Don't call me bro. We are now considered to be on the same team. I'll go and think over this 5 strangers on the team business. Enjoy your work! What work? - Good morning, Uncle Metin. - Good morning. Can I borrow your lighter? Perfect timing. Hey, we won't bring the subject up right away. Okay? We aren't going to mention anything about cheating or stealing. I know the guy. He'll start acting like a brother and will start lecturing us. First, we're going to go through the method of giving him a hard time. Great. We'll give him such a hard time that he will understand what... - we have been through. - Wait a minute. Where are we going? The road that leads to success. Really? So, is this the road to success? We're the only ones walking this road. Doesn't anyone know about it? Exactly. See, these are your rivals. Go and get your application form right away. Come on, dude. The line is moving. It's been half an hour. There are extra classes at school on Saturday and Sunday. We have to come to school 5 days a week and stay behind for extra lessons 3 times. Besides this, you still have a lot to catch up with from past years. I've made a list of books that you should buy. Be sure to get them as soon as possible. Preparation for Student Selection Exam, The Exam Questions of the last... 10 years, Writing Guide, Turkish Texts 1, Applied Math 2... Dictionary of Idioms. What's all this? Perfect for a start. We should get started in an easy mode. Easy? Yes. I got the Lotto Papers. What do we do now? Fill it out right away. We don't have much time left. Hold on a second. Let's catch our breath. You have a maximum of one minute for each question. Pay attention to the questions. The choices are full of tricks. Which of the options below is not meant in this paragraph? Which of the following is not even there at all? Be careful with negative and reverse questions. They will do their best to make us fail. Bastards! I never knew there were so many tricks involved. I'm exhausted. Let's sit down somewhere for a few minutes. Unfortunately, there is no time rest. Come on, dude. We'll also have something to eat. There are only 100 days left for the exam. Do we even have time to eat? If I have to calculate; we have 6 hours of school everyday that makes 18 days. We have 82 days left. If we take an hour or an hour and a half lunch break... that makes 9 days, 73 days left. But hey, I thought we'd solve the problem we've been dissolving ourselves. What is this dude? 8 hours of courses on the weekends, makes 5 days. We now have 68 days left. We sleep for about 8 hours a day. That makes 34. We're left with 34 days. Extra lessons for 3 days a week 3 hours each; adds up to 6 days. 28 days left. We spend a lot of time on the road... We also have to shower, go to the bathroom, wash and iron clothes. We should also count the homework and these meetings too; 5-6 hours a... day. We have 3 days left. For your information, in 3 days, he'll say, "Let's steal the questions." You can't imagine how happy you have made me. So, I'll be able to see you as a university student. Of course you will mother. Why shouldn't you? Hey guys! Hello man. You look great. You look just like one of us. Hey, you look really smart. It's not enough to just get dressed in a smart way. Hi girl, you are back! Dude, rule number one; we will stop calling her "girl." Really? Why is that? We used to say it before, what happened? Things have changed. Watch your mouth if you don't want to mess up our mood. What are you saying? Dude, we barely convinced him. Take it easy. Okay, fine. I won't say anything. We're blessed. What's up with your hair? Tie it up. Hey 3012 Mert. Sir, I give up. I've forgotten the way of the school, but... you haven't forgotten my school number. Do you really know all of our numbers? Shut up, you ill-mannered wretch. Sure I do. This is 6024 Sinan, 5947 Kaan, 6813 Gamze, 5018 Uluc. Fix your tie. Well done! Let's hope for the best, sir. You were a businessman; what happened? What happened with your job? I took a medical report, sir. I'm on holiday. We'd better go to our class, sir. As you know, the bell has rung. Really? Are you serious? Oh, please do. Go ahead. I shouldn't keep you longer. Students who are willing to go to class! This way, Mr. Kaan. You'd better cut your hair. I don't want to see it like this again. Who could give us the multiples of this? Yeah, take your time. Take the chalk. But I didn't raise my hand Professor. - Excuse me? - I didn't raise my hand. You'd better answer this question before I divide you up by your multiples. Come on kid, come on. Sit down! Hey listen; I have the voice of a dramatic soprano. I am now an alto and do you know why? Because I've lost my voice while making a demo. But my album is being delayed. How could this be? Alright! Move it, move it. I beg you. Dude, don't these teachers ever change? Do they always choose the ones who don't raise their hands? That's their tactic. In Professor Fatma's class if you raise your hand, you're safe. Really? We'll see about that. We're now doing geometry. Is there anyone remembers where we left off last time? Actually I need to go to the bathroom. Quiet! First, come to the board, then you can go. Take a piece of chalk from there. I took the chalk. Draw a trapezoid for me. No way, Professor, I don't trap people. I don't do things like that. I said draw a shape, a trapezoid. Did I ask for something else? Sit down, zero! You, you are a dead man! Hey you, the one with the hood. Stop there. Come here. Come here. Take your hood off. Take if off, take it off. How wonderful! Very nice! It's high time you have a makeover. Yeah, it's high time. From now until the day you cut your hair... I will be taking away some of it in small bunches like this. Ok? Now, have a great lesson. May God help you through the lessons. Again, a question from 2005 goes like this... The engine of my car doesn't start. So, I take it to a mechanic to see what... is wrong with it, and he says nothing. If p is, qpurely and simply... If p is, qpurely and simply, this man could be a dishonest guy. The car has broken down. Why is he saying, "There's nothing wrong with the car?" I'd personally not propose him to anyone. You've become such a malign person. Forget about this proposition and go check what it is that the girls want. You're an impolite student who leads the way and never stays behind. Sit down! Mom, you shouldn't have troubled yourself. It was no trouble at all, my dear son. My point of view in life had changed. According to my birth certificate, I was 20 but I had already lost... my joy in life. Now I can only dream of the days... when I was filled with joy and happiness. My writing has received a lot from my mother's illness. Which of the following could be said for the person mentioned in the paragraph? He has become a different person because of the things he's lived through. Dude, he chose the correct answer which was B. He's actually answering the questions. Hey man, how are your studies going? Good. I am studying. How many correct answers did you get from Math and Science? Around 67. 67? I was getting 82 just for Math and Science. You should also answer the questions on Social Science. How much did you get? He can't even answer that question. He's totally bad in Social Science. But, if you ask him about the top 10 he'd answer instantly. He'll become a pop star. Look, both your brother and sister have entered the best universities. Kaan, if you tried a bit harder, you could succeed too. He's got no discipline. How was life in Germany? It was like a ticking clock. You grew up there too but this rascal isn't like that. Once he lifts his head away from the books, he instantly thinks of his guitar. I can't control you all the time. You have to want it yourself. I agree dad, you are absolutely right. I feel ashamed instead of you. It's such a shame! Is this behavior suitable for you? Don't you want to attent to university. Of course There are many universities I can be registered at with my scores. What do you mean? How are you going to get into the Faculty of Medicine? Stop pushing him. Maybe, he would like to study something else. Is that so? Don't you remember fantasizing when you were a kid? You kept on saying you'd become a doctor like Aunt Nesrin's cousin. - Who's Aunt Nesrin's cousin, mom? - Don't you know? What was it? Mesut. Yeah, Mesut. He graduated from medicine. Dad, he didn't finish medical school. The school finished him. Don't you remember him looking like this every time he came to us? Now, he's calling him an ox. Dad, have you ever asked me what I really wanted to do? How dare you talk to my dad like that? Get up and go to your room. You are acting as if these people want the worst for you. Did you see that? I have just said one word and he has spoiled my dinner. I'm ashamed of you. You're vile! I didn't do anything to make anyone feel ashamed. All animals are lions, in fact... all people are animals, isn't that right, sir? Yes, it is. Then, if all living things that are lions are animals... animals that are living are lions. Then, if p is to q or q is to r... All lions are animals. All tigers are lions. The bottom line is that all living... What's important is to be human. Be a man! This is what you should always try to learn. Dear children, live life as a way of documentary. How much time do we have till the break? Damn it! Kaan. Come here. He's going to give the questions again. You take this and go to the stationery across the street. How many copies do you need? Make 40 copies of it. Tell them to charge it to Professor Rahmi. I bet that he won't even open it to check the questions. What do you mean? The teacher gives him questions and he never looks at them? Do you know why I gave them? So that he could photocopy them. And, do you know why I gave them to Kaan? Because I trust him. If you ever ask me how I know that... because the animal didn't even look at questions once. Come in! Give them to me. Go to your seat. Did you ever check the questions? Don't talk nonsense! Of course I didn't. Are you crazy? And he says he didn't check them with no shame at all. Don't tell me, "Don't you feel ashamed?" - What happened to you? - I am answering, (e) gone crazy You drove me crazy. It's enough, enough. Did you get that? It's enough! Don't shout. She's studying. Did your daughter's success just occur to you now? I'll get her married to a man and it will be over. Do you understand that? You'll get her married, huh? Whose daughter are you forcing to marry? My daughter will finish her studies. Then she'll marry the man she loves. So, she'll marry the man she loves and live a miserable life like I do? I am going to divorce you! Divorce me! Do as you wish! I am going to divorce you! I will divorce you. That's enough! Stop bringing my name up in your fights. Get divorced as soon as possible. Besides, after seeing you fight like... this, I'll neither get married nor fall in love. God damn it! Between parentheses, x equals 2x cube. You should write too. Minus x equals... Sinan? Is Gamze still angry with me? Minus x I don't know, dude. She may have told you some things, right? You know that she's a tough one. We also know the problems between her parents Seeing her parents like that, she's totally being drawn away from love. We cant deny that she liked you too. And you gave her hope. Then you didn't even come to school. So, she's angry... Can't we just solve these questions first, and then talk? What about you guys? Look man. My dad is calling. Hello! I am at my friend's house. We're studying together. Of course not dad. Why should I lie? Ok, dad. Right away. My dad is really angry with me. I have to get going now. Before you go, you were saying something? I was wondering if they'd removed the pool problems from the course outline. You look beautiful. Actually, if you leave your hair loose... and put on some make up, you are a beautiful girl. What's Ozgur doing? He's clinging on to his lessons, studying like crazy. Mert is failing. Do you know why I'm saying that Mert's failing? Because he's not studying. I swear to God, I am studying. You see me studying. He's lying. It's not enough to study, Mr. Mert. We do. But having to study for school and selection exam both is very difficult. What are we going to do then? We should at least find a solution for the school. I thought everything would be okay if I came to school, but this is worse. Actually, you know what? We should just steal the test papers... and get it over with. What did you say? I didn't say anything, dude. This is it man! This is the first time you have ever said something sensible. So, are you suggesting that we should steal the papers? Are you crazy? Actually, I've been meaning to tell you this for a long time... but I wasn't sure if I should or not. I love it when you talk like this. Why are you making us struggle? You should have said it from the beginning. This is great. What are we going to do about Turan and his gang? They've been... watching us closely for a very long time. Who? These guys? Excuse me! What are you looking at? Give me that ball. Come on, get out of here! Yes, is there anything else? Then we are all in, aren't we? Why are you asking me, dude? I am already in. You were the ones who were waiting for Mert. Her you go. He's here now. You've been on my case since I came. You're angry, so I am not saying anything. - Who are you to say anything anyway? - Gamze, it's enough. Look, it's more important for me than anyone else here to finish school. Okay? You won't understand this. So, don't drag it out. Let's get down to business if the old issues are over. Kaan, you are the only one who could plan this whole thing. Dude, I've never done anything shameful in my whole life. Alright? But my family is calling me a "shameless man." Okay, I was really angry the other day. The questions that Professor Rahmi gave me for photocopying... - Did you look at them? - Well, I did this time. So, you were just going to help yourself? I couldn't say it, okay? I couldn't say it. Whatever, it doesn't matter. Let's not talk about that now. You are the only guy who's organized systematic on the clock. And we need you on this issue, okay? Okay, but I'll only do the planning. I won't interfere with the rest, deal? Fine. Are we going to rob Professor Fatma? No way. It's fine with me. You're the ones who are having difficulty in math, not me. But it's the most problematic one for all of us. I think it's ideal for a start. Sure, I think so too. She irritates me anyway. Let's just start from there. How are we going to do this? She was telling us to draw a trapezoid. Now, we'll make the best one. Listen to me. We'll steal the questions a day before the test. Professor Fatma has a bag with a code, right? She keeps all her files and grading books in that bag. The day before the test, our questions will be in that bag. How are we going to find the password? The code is with two digits. So, there are 100 possible combinations. It is really hard to guess. But Kaan has an amazing idea... When the day for stealing comes, we'll arrange for Gamze to be the guard on duty. When Professor Fatma is in our class, you'll make your move. I can't. I get panic attacks. You will not panic, sweetheart, you will only attack. Professor, there is an urgent phone call for you that you have to take. - Really? Who could it be? - I don't know, professor. I am coming right away. Don't make any noise. When Professor Fatma leaves the class, I'll go next to the table and pretend to be looking at the attendance sheet. The bag will most probably be open... I'll get the password without anyone noticing. - They have hung up the phone. - I don't know professor. Sure you don't. When one day they come to ask for your hand... how are you to start a family and raise kids? So irresponsible! How are we going to get the questions from the bag? I am answering. A) During lunch break. Meaning, while there is no one in the school or the teachers' room. Kaan and I have been watching her for the last few days. She never goes out with that bag. She always leaves it at school. Meaning in the cupboard of her room. Congratulations! Correct answer. Every afternoon, her grandson comes from school and she goes to meet him... across the street. She stays there for an hour and we can relax at that time. Who is going to sneak into the teachers' room? It has to be someone that no one would suspect. Someone who nobody believes would steal questions even if he were caught. Someone that teachers trust enough to hand him the questions themselves. Because he's a trustworthy and honest student. No way! The fool you are calling cannot reached at the moment. I've made the plan. That's all from me. I'm not interfering with the rest! This is what we call virtue and ethics. Before the lunch break, Kaan and Sinan will hide in the boys' bathroom. When the school is empty, Kaan will go to the teachers' room. Sinan will watch the stairs from the end of the hall. Gamze will already be on duty at the gate. Whoever arrives early at school... will call us and inform us if they see any teachers. What am I doing? You're a civilian. You're going to watch out for Professor Fatima outside. If, for any reason, she returns early to school, you'll let us know. I'll be at my computer at home, ensuring that you can communicate with each other. You saved the best for yourself. Sitting safely at a desk and at home. Well, suit yourself. It's okay. Don't be absurd. This is a team game. How are we going to communicate with Uluc? A) Since Mert will already be out, he communicate easily. He'll be on the phone the whole time. B) Uluc's messenger will be on and I'll communicate with him through... a mobile device. Uluc will be like a telephone switchboard, giving me news about all of you. C) Gamze and I don't have a phone with messenger. How will we communicate? By farting? Planning needs money, and we don't have that much. What can we do? No, that can't be. If we're going to do this, let's do it right. I'll take care of the phone business. Super! The operation will take 60 minutes. Good luck everyone. Everything is okay. We can start. Guys, it's your turn. What's going on? - Hello? Kaan? - Where are you, man? - I got cut off and can't connect. - Great, and I can't get in. What happened? What do you mean by what happened? Yours is here. I am talking about Professor Candan. She is here. What's she up to? What's she doing? I don't know. She's playing the violin. Hold on, Mert is calling. Hello? Hello, everything is fine here. She got the boy from the bus. - Good. Hold on a second. - One minute. They aren't going home. - Where are they going? - How should I know? Wait a minute. Hello? Sinan? What are we going to do? Shall we get out of here? Candan is inside playing the violin. One's here, the other's there. Wait a little, just wait. I don't know, do something. Follow them. Follow them? I said they got into the cab and left. Good, okay. Hello? Uluc? I am going to kill you. We're going to follow that car. What are we going to do now? How the hell should I know? Besides, why did you come here? The line got cut and I freaked out. What's up with the violin sound? What's going on? What could it be? We're waiting. Gamze came here too. The three of us are waiting. What's Gamze doing there? May God watch over you guys. Did we buy those devices so the three of could stand together? I congratulate you guys. Is this all you can do? Ok, dude. Calm down a little. Now, put your phones on silent and wait until you hear from me. We won't give up. We still have time. We will keep waiting. Uluc says we'll wait. Come on. Hello? They arrived at a shopping mall. I am following them... Is everything alright with you guys? Things are a little bit complicated here, but you keep following her. My dear Candan, it is such an untimely devotion to music. Here's your mobile number. Now, I need an address for a recording company. Pick it up, pick it up. Hello? - Am I speaking with Professor Candan? - Yes, speaking. Professor, I am calling from Bemol Records : -This is Cevat Ceyhan. - I am listening. We are after talented musicians at schools, especially after Candan... - Ercetin's popularity. - Yes. And we have come across your thing your name. You are very kind, Mr. Ceyhan. Of course, we can meet. Is it necessary to meet today? Well, right away if possible. The studio is free at the moment. We could do some recording... My partners are here too. So, we could sign a contract too. Well, if you say today is necessary. I am listening to you. Then ... let me give you the address. Okay, I am writing it down. It's IMC Bazaar, opposite Zeyrek, Bemol Records, Cevat Ceyhan. Which bazaar did you say? Ma'am, it's the IMC Bazaar, opposite Zeyrek. There aren't any mistakes with the address, right? Of course not. What kind of a mistake can there be? Alright, sir. So, that's your place. Come on. We are waiting for you. My accent always works within the music sector. Oh God, my voice is gone. God damn it. Hello? Kaan? Take Sinan and get out. Candan is coming out. I can't believe this. What was it? I can't believe it... I have lost my voice too. Try a little harder, Candan. Hello? Candan just left. Okay. Continue with the operation. God damn it. Is it okay? Did you get it? Yeah, you wish. We are screwed. It's a different bag. What do you mean "a different bag"? I'm saying that it's a different bag. The old one had 2 digits and this has 3. Why is she changing her bag? Okay. Wait a second. What is it? They've finished. They're leaving. How are things with you? It's not good at all. Try and delay her. I'm hanging up ... How am I going to delay her? Hello? Okay. We will add numbers to the beginning and end of the old number. Try all the combinations. What's this? If it were a test, I could skip the questions I can't answer. Excuse me, ma'am. Can you come down to the cashier? Why? What happened? This way, please. The alarm went off. It's almost one o'clock. Where are you? I tried. I tried them all. None of them worked. That's impossible. I am out of here or we'll get caught. No, wait. Try again by putting them at the beginning. Ma'am, there was a little misunderstanding. Please forgive us. There's no need to apologize. Actually, I was kind of in a hurry. You've wasted my time. Come on, baby. Let's get out of here. It's not working. None of it's working. Come on Uluc, work your head. What password would a mathematician use? Guys, I'm giving you the password of geometry. Pi, meaning 3.14. I got it. Try it first. 3-1-4. Or 4-3-1. Try them all. This is it! I couldn't delay her any longer. She dropped off the grandson too. We are almost at the street of the school. What did you do? We'll be done in 2 minutes. We found the questions. Come on, get out of there. What are you still doing? Questions for physics and history. This is heaven! Get out! You'll get caught. Forget about history and physics. What happened? CSI Urfa operation has been completed. Let's hope for the best. This is it! This is what I call killing three birds with one stone. Oh, come on. That can't be. They wouldn't dare do such a thing. Don't you think I will be able to understand from their answers? This is the first time in my life I've passed a math exam so easily. As I said yesterday, you all solved it in a different way, right? If we all get a full mark, we will mess the whole thing up. How about you? I've just looked it over. That's enough for me. What's up my young bull? What? If things don't go well as planned, have your immediate family... and I have my tribe, in Urfa, waiting for us. Oh, get out of here. You have Candan's phone number. You're just kidding us talking about tribes and all. Why don't you go after women your own age just like all the other people? I'll say this knowing Gamze won't be offended. Our generation sucks. How do you know. Did you try? I have a bachelor dad, that's how. Talking about fathers, we have been using your house like a cell... I hope that we're not being disgraceful. Not at all! I was talking about something else, here. There's food in the oven, Uluc. You can warm it up and eat it. Having a child means having problems. But I still love him... Candan is a totally different woman. I know that the answer key of the selection exam and a treble clef don't... mean the same thing to you guys, but knowing about music will make you think... systematically and will help you heal your soul. Sometimes, I feel like she's lecturing only me. How did that happen? She doesn't even know you exist. Fine. That's what you think. I have her number though. I'll now take private lessons from her. What lessons? Violin lessons. Is your violin tuned up well? Yes, but I first have to admit something to you, professor. Tell me. What is it, Uluc? I am really bored with this violin. Shall we just move on to another instrument? Another instrument? Yes, professor. I don't know. Something more popular. For example, we have some entertainment nights in Urfa. Entertainment nights? Haven't you ever heard of it? For example, the Mici of Kahta... or may God rest his soul, the Boiler Bedih... Yes, what do we do now? - What do you mean by what do we do? - Meaning, what's our new plan? It's the fatal exam robbery, Chapter 2. Are you doing this on purpose? Speak in Turkish. - That means we'll rob a bank. - What bank? The question bank. The test exams for intensive courses. Come on. Why are we stealing them? It's just a test exam as we call it. Because every week, their results are being mailed home. When our marks are low, our parents at home start nagging. I can't take that anymore. Every time my mom receives a paper, she tells me to get my dowry ready. Is she nuts? That's exactly what my father says, and that's when the fighting starts. Whatever, if everyone agrees, let's sneak into the materials room and get the answer keys for the rest of the weeks, which will put an end to it. What's the plan? First the keys. Rafet has one of the keys, and Seyfo has the other one. Seyfo has one key chain that has all the keys in it. Gamze, Seyfo is a big admirer of yours. What's up, Seyfo? Hey, welcome Gamze. I'm going to get some ice-cream. I'm burning from inside... I'll give you it. Which one do you want? Don't bother. I'll get it, but it's locked. Can you throw me the keys, Seyfo? You continue your work, Seyfo. Hey Seyfo, are you ok? Thank you. What's up? Can you give me some water or something? I am thirsty. There's no water. Drink from the fountain. But the selling still continues. Gamze is getting an ice-cream there. What the hell is this? Are you planning a robbery or what? Of course not. It's the key to the girls' locker room. We'll just have some fun. Help your brother a little bit. You sneaky person... Here are the answer keys. I've made two copies, just in case. When do we sneak in? Tomorrow. On Career Day caricaturist Yigit Ozgur will be here. Everyone, including the headmaster, will be in the conference hall. We'll sneak into the room at that time. To become a caricaturist, what major am supposed to choose for the exam? As far as I know, there is no major like that in the universities. If there were, I would have been studying there now... but if you must decide on a major Hello? What's the situation like? Be very careful because Rafet is not around. Okay. We are going down. Okay. See you later. Uluc said that Rafet isn't around. If he comes out from somewhere, we will be screwed. Don't be scared. God knows where he is or what he is after. Besides, if you're not caught red handed, you can't be considered guilty. I said stop. Slow down a little bit. I passed the last exit before the bridge. One minute. Weren't you supposed to make an album for me with the extra... money from the parent teacher association? Weren't you going to back me up and be my producer? I will. Did you ever see me not backing you up? I always back you up. Why do you think I started with these intensive courses? Ask me why? I'm telling you I'll make an album for you. - Really? - Of course, it's real. - Promise? - I promise. Ooh, look who's here. Yes, Mert. 3012 Mert. Rafet. Actually, 69 Rafet. What are we doing here? We'll leave, professor. Don't be ridiculous. Don't you see? I've been thinking of giving Rafet a nickname for a long time. - 69 Rafet is super, professor. - Give me that camera. You take this camera and get lost. Close the door too. Photo... What are you doing? Sinan... the camera... What do you guys want? What are you doing here? Well, would you believe me if I said we were just passing by? What are you doing here? We were just checking the inventory here, and I felt hot in the jacket. To do, you know, the warehouse is stuffy. We, Rafet and I, will be married soon and build a happy house. Isn't that right, Mr. Rafet? Sure. The one who gives less... We'll talk about that later. I will prepare your house for you with pictures that just left. Excuse me, I'll be back soon. Bro, I have some good news for you and some bad news. The bad news is that Rafet's here. Good news is that Professor Candan's on his lap What lap? Don't exaggerate guys. Of course, we might say that it's bad news for you. What's she doing on his lap? Mr. Rafet was giving her something but we came in at that moment. I thought I'd ask you about what to do with these lovebirds. There's nothing going on. Decision made. She's dead for me now. She's got no taste at all. He's very depressed. He's very angry... And his grandfather is from the tribe... What happened? What do you want? Tell me. All you have to do is give me the answer keys of all the remaining test exams. That's one... if this matter leaves this room, I'll make sure the record you... die for goes public. And that's two. Have some water. Come on, son. If anything goes wrong, I know you and you know me. - Don't get anyone else involved. - Deal. And stop bothering me about my hair. We're interfering with your personal life? I'm closing it ... relax. God knows what he'll start thinking in his head now. Hey, what happened? - There is nothing wrong, man. Relax. - Not that. What about the booklets? I've solved that problem. He'll send them home. 69 Rafet. It's super. Come on, I will take care of this. It was obvious that something like this would happen. I'm telling you, I'll take care of it. Don't do this. Oh, this is bad. Can you please put yourjacket on? Ok, I'm putting my jacket on. Wait, I'll end this issue. What's this guy's name? Mert! Yes? Hi, this is Zeynep Erez. I'm Mert's new guidance counselor. If you have some time, can I have a word with you? Don't feel sad dear. If he wants to get divorced, then divorce him. Don't say it like that dear. It just hurts. You keep struggling through the years. Then a day comes and you find yourself locked outside the door. Thank you! Sorry for the trouble. You know, Mert has been in school for a long time and he still hasn't graduated. Do you, or his father, ever talk to him about this matter? He doesn't have a father. We're separated. No matter how much you care, guys are guys. Aren't they all the same? One day, he just left us... Mert was 11 years old when he left. Didn't he ever call his son after that? Never. We started a life with Mert. Just like a friend... Look at Mrs. Guler, she's never had a happy day. Just when she brought her son up, this is what happened. Having a mother like you, why did Mert turn out to be like this? Mert isn't the child you think he is. He just wanted to work. He said the streets are filled with unemployed people and wanted to start... earning money as soon as possible. Does he work? Yes. But he's studying really hard now, he's back in school. He'll enter the selection exam too. He doesn't want to hurt me anymore. I think my illness played a big role in that. What did the doctors say? I hope it's nothing serious? The doctors have said she'd be alright, but... I have cancer. This is cancer. It's not easy. Look, it's more important for me than anyone else here to finish school, OK? All I want is to see him go to a university before I die. I've kept you busy with my problems. You've come to talk about something. Did Mert do something bad? No! No? "Holly Ellenbogen- Some Other Kind of News. " So. It's been a while. Yeah. Yeah, it has. Not since... I want to say prom night. Really? Has it been that long? Oh, you know, it's funny. What's that? I just wonder what I'm gonna tell my daughter when she's in high school and she asks me, "Mommy, what was your prom like?" I guess I'll just say, Well, sweetie, I went with this very cute boy who was a wonderful dancer. And then we went to a party at your Aunt Marcie's house. And later that night, I walked into her bedroom, and there he was. With this other boy from our Spanish class. Doing all the things I was finally prepared to do with him. Rrrah! Um, look. Holly, I - I am so sorry. I - I have felt bad about this for ten years. In fact, the only reason I came to this thing tonight was that I hoped you'd be here so I could tell you that. Well. Thank you. That actually means a lot. Sorry. Are you okay? Mm-hmm. I'm free! And-and things really are going well? Oh, yeah, they really are. I married just the greatest guy. And now you get to meet him. Perry! Sweetie, over here. I'm so sorry I'm late. Oh, my God, the traffic was vicious. Kyle, this is my husband, Perry Pearl. Hi. Sweetie, this is Kyle Lendo. Kyle and I dated in high school. - Well, uh... - Ooh, my competition. Back off, mister! Shh, here she comes. Surprise! Considering that I don't know any of you, yes, it is. Okay, so today happens to be the 20th anniversary of the first day of third grade, which means it's also the 20th anniversary of the day we met. So to commemorate the most important day of my life, I got as many people from our class as I could. I got the actual cook from the school cafeteria to make us fish sticks and Sloppy Joes. I even tracked down Mrs. Klinger. FYI, if you want some vodka, get it now. And, uh... here is... a first edition of Charlotte's Web, which I believe was your favorite book from that year. Can I see you for a moment? Excuse us. I can't take it anymore. I know you love me, I do, but I am drowning in it. Sweetie, I think we- Shh! Who does this? It's like... On our birthdays, I got you a sweater. You had a plane skywriting for me- Seriously, this just- Shh! And it's not just the big days. It's every day. Cute little notes under my pillow. And in the refrigerator. And in my diaphragm case. Oh, I- It is too much. And I don't think there is a woman in the world who would disagree with me! God, I would. - Excuse me? - Oh, but... I - I'm sorry. It's-but - Everything you just said sounded really, really nice. I mean, seriously, if I had someone doing amazing, travagant things for me every day, I - I think I'd just shut up. I mean, you call these problems? "Oh, it's horrible. Someone wrote in the sky for me. " I'd kill to find a little note in my diaphragm case. Oh... But that's just me. Then maybe he should be with you. No, Joanne. Joanne, wait. Wait. This is the best party ever. - Nice speech. - It was horrible. I thought it was great. Oh, happy people complaining. No, they deserve to be yelled at. I'm Richie. Lina. No, I know. Um - You sat in front of me in Ms. Klinger's class, but then in fourth grade you were gone. We transferred to private school. After Kat was expelled for telling Mr. Dubin he looked like a penis. He did, he kinda looked like a penis. Yeah, and the turtlenecks didn't help. I like your hat. Are-are you making fun of me? 'Cause I don't think I could handle- No, I like it. It's, um... jaunty. Hey. Couldn't have looked like crap just a little, huh? Come here. And... you're married. I know. I keep looking down at my hand like, "What the hell?" And, um... you're living in a big house out in Gladwynne now? It's crazy. It's got nine bathrooms. Really? Does he have a problem? No, that's just how big the house is. Oh. Gotcha. So, where are you living now? I'm still in Narberth. - Oh, where? - Oh, uh... Montgomery Street. Doesn't your mom live... Oh. Yeah. People are kind of afraid to come in here and get their coats. So... I volunteered. Yeah, coats. Sure. She gave me back my grandmother's ring. Sorry. Everything was so right. I mean, did I tell you our birthdays are one day apart? Yeah, yeah, but I gotta say-a My birthday is the same day as that Son of Sam guy. It's not really enough to build a relationship on. Well, it wasn't just that. When we met, it was like fate brought us together. Now what's it doing? I'm not a big believer in fate. Yeah, well, I hate fate. Oh, let's not make it mad, though. I can't believe this. I'm gonna take the car to go get some coffee with this guy. What? I'll be back soon. He's really, reay nice. And he likes my hat. Okay. - So, you're happy. - Me? Oh, yeah. It's all good. I mean, Yonk's a lot older, so we're into different stuff, and-and we have different friends. And he's away a lot, promoting the Yonk Allen Barbeque Grill. Okay. But, I mean, how cool is it? I'm married to Yonk Allen. It's-it's awesome. Yeah, I mean, he was a huge football star, so, you know, he... got hit in the head a lot. But he takes really good care of me, and he's very sweet. Sometimes mean, but-but mostly sweet. Well, yeah, that's - that's just like your dad. - Yes. - Yes. Hey, babe. Time to go to the airport. I'll be right there. So, anyway... It's really great to see you again. Yeah. Yeah, you too. Then... You're happy? Yeah. Like you said, It's all good. It's just... kinda hard knowing that I'm not even 30, and the greatest thing that will ever happen to me already happened. You take care of yourself, okay? Am I... the best thing that's ever happened to you? Baby, come on. 'Course you are. - Really? - Sure. You're not counting playing in the Super Bowl. I mean, come on. It's the Super Bowl. But you're definitely number two. Oh, wait. There's that million-dollar check I got for putting my name on that stupid barbeque grill. That didn't suck. So it goes Super Bowl, big check, then you. Dinner at the White House... When I was planning this party, I kept looking at these kids. And they're all smiling, and happy, and hopeful, and... I kept thinking, "How many of these kids are happy today?" I would say... all the ones who didn't come to this party. I'm serious. There were 28 of us in the class. How many of us are already, like, stuck in lousy jobs, or bad marriages? How many of us have already made that one big dumb choice we'll never really recover from? Of all those smiling kids, how many are still smiling? I mean, back then we just assumed that everything would work out. How many of us are going to end up in a good place, without messing it up along the way? And I just felt really good, 'cause, like... I was one of the happy ones. I had found Joanne. And what do you do when you lose the person you were meant to be with? Just so I know, um... How long are you gonna wallow? She left me an hour ago. I was thinking maybe an hour and ten minutes? Dude, you have got to stop thinking about her as the person you were meant to be with. In fact, just stop thinking about her as a person. For a while, she is just that selfish, hurtful whore. Well, I'll give you selfish and hurtful. Oh, give me whore, too! Come on. She just dumped you in front of 20 strangers at a party that you threw for her. I think we can trade up. I guess. I just can't even imagine being with anyone else. I know. I do. It hurts, but... I have totally forgotten your name. I'm sorry I have to go, but I need to pick up my sister. It's all right. We can, uh, do this again. Really? Yeah, sure. And not just for coffee. Next time, there may be pie. Oh, wow. I love pie. I was just kidding, but so do I. Oh. So, um, anyway, uh... Night. Good night. Bye. Hello? Hey, it's me. Um, hi. Is it okay that I miss you already? It's very okay. I has such a nice time tonight. Can I tell you something? I'm coming out of a... pretty dark time in my life right now. You are? Why? It's-it's just been, like, everything that, like, could go wrong has... gone wrong. And I almost... didn't make it to this party tonight, but I'm-I'm so glad that I did. You're, like, the, uh- the first good thing that's happened in my life in the last two years. I am? You are like this amazing, shining, positive- Lina? Lina? Hello? Hey. What are you doing here? What- Good enough. Um, I don't know what this is. I don't care. Nicole? Hi, Mrs. Carmello. How have you been? Mom- What, I can't ask a question? Not tonight. It's nice to see you again, dear. Should I set out extra towels? I don't know! [Car Horn Honks] [Man Whistles] A.S.U. Arizona State fans? Oh, no, man. U.S.A! Of course. If you're here to see the U.S. Snowboarding team, they don't arrive until tomorrow. But you gotta have your shirts on inside the casino. Those are the rules. Okay. What a babe. I love Vegas! [Whistles] Wow. Wow. Wow. Hot date? Yeah, you could say that. Well, who's the lucky fella? James Harpel. One of the whales from J.W. McKeller's black book. I've been trying to get him as a client for years. Well, I don't see how any man could say no to you in that dress. Hey, word is Paul Logan's in town. Paul Logan? Paul Logan? Number one host in Macao. Yeah, Macao, Monte Carlo. But not Vegas. No, not Vegas. Mr. Taylor, if you're missing personal property, we can call security, but... I'm telling you, I ain't payin' for this room, not after what happened to me in there. Excuse me. What's going on around here? There's a ghost in my room. And she's a thief. I'm sorry. There's a what? She took my money clip right off the nightstand. It was silver, with my initials... R.P.T. And there was 400 bucks in there. You're saying that someone stole your money... Not someone, something. I get back to my room, and I see this dark-haired woman sorta hovering on my bed. - Hovering? - Yes, hovering. Next thing I know, she's gone and so is my money clip. You oughta comp my stay and reimburse me what she stole. That's him. That's the guy who walked out on his check at Mystique. All right, you owe her 86 bucks, pal. Let's go. Did you intend to pay for any part of your stay here? See, this gentleman thinks that we should comp his room... because it was haunted by a ghost thief. - Delinda! - Wolfgang! What a surprise to see you. Ed. Hey, Wolf. We weren't expecting you until tomorrow. I wanted to get here early to make sure everything is perfect... for the grand opening tomorrow night. "Wolfgang Puck at the Montecito." Has a good ring to it, don't you think so? I think so. Wow. Just rolls off the tongue. Ed, let's go. Where we going? - In the kitchen. - [Delinda] I so don't need this right now. On top of Wolfgang's opening tomorrow, I get a tip the health department's inspecting Mystique this week. - [Danny] Don't worry. You'll be fine. - Pay up. You heard her. So you gonna pay your bill and leave nicely or is this gonna get ugly? [People Cheering] There you go. Can you believe this guy actually thought he was gonna get a free room by saying it was haunted? He said the ghost was a dark-haired woman, right? Uh, no. I think he said the ghost was a ghost. Oh. Maybe it was Monica. What, stopping dine-and-dashers from the great beyond? [Cell Phone Ringing] There are more things in heaven and earth, Danny. Danny McCoy. Really. Uh-huh. Okay. Uh, yeah, we'll be right up, sir. That was the Burkes, at the new Montecito residences. The new owners of Monica's condo? Yeah. They say it's haunted. #Boy, you feelin'lucky tonight # #Roll the dice again and let it ride # #Let it ride Let it ride # # You gonna do this one more time # #Hit me again and let it ride # #Let it ride Let it ride # #Are you gonna play tonight # # 'Cause Lady Luck is right by your side # #By your side By your side # # Gonna do this one more time # #Hit me again and let it ride # #Let it ride, let it ride Let it ride, let it ride # Hmm. No visible dirt, but... Maureen? Yeah. Send this to the lab for bacterial analysis. Thank you. Mm-hmm. Cleanliness, people. You can never be too sure. Word on the street there's a new inspector at the health department, and he's wicked hard-core. We need our "A" game, people. Now we all know Mystique has a perfect inspection record to uphold. So, yes, I'm talking about a sanitary food preparation environment. But I'm also talking about something bigger. I'm talking about pride. Okay, on to the walk-in. Let's monitor those cold-holding temperatures. Thanks for coming. I just... I didn't know what to do. It's freezing. What do you guys got the A.C. On, high? That's part of the problem. Yeah, take a look at this. [Shudders] Got the heater turned all the way up, but... But still this ungodly chill. With all due respect, Mr. And Mrs. Burke, just because your thermostat's broken doesn't mean that there's a ghost in your suite. It's not just the thermostat. The last few nights, the lights, the TV, they turn on and off without us doing anything. We haven't slept a wink. I knew it was a mistake to buy this place furnished. [Mrs. Burke] It's spooky. It's like her presence is still here. Look, uh... [Clears Throat] I know there's probably a logical explanation for all this. But my wife, she's a little superstitious, you understand. Of course. Of course. Well, lucky for you my friend Mike here is an expert at this stuff. Mike, you wanna take a look at the thermostat? I'll call Maintenance. Or... Or maybe you couldjust check it out before Maintenance gets here. And risk angering a restless spirit? No, no, no. No, no, no. That's not how I roll. Okay. Uh... I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Mr. And Mrs. Burke. We will... We will send somebody up right away. Thanks very much. Okay. Oh, and could you tell Maintenance to take a look at the shower door while they're here? I got stuck in there this morning. No problem. Did you hear that? Did you hear that? The shower door? In the same shower door where Monica was stuck? In the same bathroom where her ashes were flushed down the toilet? You really are superstitious? I just figured fixing a thermostat was beneath you. Superstitious? No. Spiritual? Yes. I grew up in my grandmother's house, Danny. And when she died, strange things started happening. Footsteps when there was no one there. Light turning on and off. Temperature suddenly dropping with no explanation. Thought that you were a man of science. I am. But I also know that there are things in life that even science can't explain. Okay. Carter. Any messages for me? Uh, no, Ms. Marquez, no messages. There's nothing from Mr. Harpel? Nothing. Danny here? Do you see him? What about Ed? It's kind of urgent. [Sighs] One of my whales disappeared. I can help you. I should probably talk to Danny. I can do anything he can do. Probably more. - Really? - Oh, uh, really. Can you find Mr. Harpel? The guy you were supposed to meet earlier? Mm-hmm. You sure he didn't just stand you up? Or maybe Paul Logan swooped in and yanked him from your clutches. I knew this was too serious for you to understand. Hey, Danny. It's Sam. I need to talk to you right away. Hey. Hold on. Hold on. Sam, hang it up. Hang it up. [Typing] [Beeping] Why don't I just run a search on his credit card? Mmm. Smart. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - James W. Harpel? - Mm-hmm. Looks like he opened up a tab at Pure about an hour ago. Thank you. That reverse psychology stuff? That's cheating, Sam. Uh-huh. If you ain't cheating', you ain't tryin', Mike. Damn. Hey. You guys see this? "Mancuso menaces Montecito. Ghost of former owner haunts hotel." What the hell is this? I don't know. Maybe that guy Taylor went to the press. What, because we made him pay what he owed? Well, if he thought the story was gonna hurt us, he was wrong. Bookings are way up. Haunted hotels... quite popular apparently. Quite popular apparently? Oh, yeah. Yeah, at a lot of places, a famous ghost is a huge draw. Like the, um, the Hotel del Coronado in San Diego, or the Maison de Ville in New Orleans. That's ridiculous. Everyone knows there's no such thing as ghosts. Ow! Oh! Honey, you okay? You okay? What happened? Ow. My shoe. What? Aren't those shoes you got at the sale where Monica... Yes. Still breaking 'em in, I guess. Whoa. Wait. You bought those shoes where she died? They were on sale. [Cell Phone Ringing] Yes. Now? Oh, my God. I'll be right there. The health inspector, he's here. [Beeps] Weird. What's wrong? Nothing's wrong. That's just it. It's freezing in here. I know. But nothing appears to be wrong with the thermostat. And I couldn't find anything wrong with the lights and the TV either. Okay. So what is it? Something strange is going on in this suite, Danny. Not you too. Come on, Don. [Scoffs] Thirty-nine degrees. Your, uh, dairy storage is exemplary, Delinda. I bet you say that to all the girls. [Chuckles] Whoa. Sorry. Well, filters clean. Ventilation good. Everything looks perfect. So, uh, we passed? Oh, with flying colors. I'm not supposed to reveal that until the official report is issued. It'll be our little secret. [Chuckles] Okay, so... Just... Just one more thing. What's that? Um, I was wondering if you might have dinner with me some evening? Oh, Mr. Ackerman. Oh, no. Call meJerry, please. Jerry. It's a lovely offer, but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to decline. It's just I don't really like mixing business with pleasure. You know, it just wouldn't be professional. And we're nothing if not professionals. Exactly. Well, I... Good evening. [Man] Can I borrow your knife? - [Man #2] There you go. - Thanks. "Mancuso menaces Montecito." I told you our suite was haunted. It is not haunted. They're trying to sell newspapers. Mr. Deline, my wife has had to endure tremendous pain and suffering, and the way I see it, you and the Montecito Corporation... had a legal obligation to disclose the presence of that ghost before we purchased the residence. It was clearly a pre-existing condition. But, you know, I'm thinking you're gonna have hell finding a judge to hear this particular case. Well, I'm hoping that legal action won't be necessary. "A ghost ruined my condo"? I would actually pay to hear that testimony. Well, as I said, I'm hoping that legal action won't be necessary. You know, I'm getting this, uh... this feeling that, uh, there's a dollar figure in your already ghost-ravaged brain... that would make this all go away, am I correct? Yeah. Well, I think it would be reasonable to refund the purchase price plus a hundred thousand dollars. Plus... Plus a hundred thousand dollars? Yes. For our pain and suffering and inconvenience. I am going to fix this little problem in your suite as soon as I possibly can. And in the meantime, I will put you both up at this beautiful hotel free of charge. Now, I'd take that before I change my mind. Good. Bye-bye. Hey, Danny. Listen, I'm telling you there's something not right about those two. You mean something besides the fact that they believe in ghosts? I don't know. Just check 'em out, all right? I already did. Neither one of them has so much as a speeding ticket, much less a criminal record. You don't think the guy that lost the money clip was in with them or something? Could be. I'll look into it. Yeah, because there's something strange. I just got this... this feeling, you know, that something's not right. Maybe it's like a sixth sense, I think. Mr. Harpel. Hi. I'm so sorry. I thought we were supposed to meet at Opus. My mistake. Nice dress. Oh, thank you. Samantha Marquez, I presume. Logan. Paul Logan. At last we meet. Excuse us for a moment. [Clears Throat] [Sam] I'm not sure how they do things where you're from, but here, stealing people's clients is considered bad form. Stealing? Far as I know, Harpel was never your client. Mmm. Right. Okay. Look, you stay out of Vegas, and we'll be fine. Come now, Samantha. If your clients are truly happy, then I pose no threat. But when your service is less than exemplary, like with Mr. Harpel there, who I'm sure would have met you at the appointed time... had you only picked him up yourself in a jet, as I did, then you become vulnerable to competition. Oh, see, now you don't have to teach me how to service my clients. I happen to be the number one host in Las Vegas. A meaningless distinction. What? You might be number one at the moment, but you've never had to compete with the best. Now that I'm here, you won't be on top for long. Wanna bet? A friendly wager might be in order. Hmm. What do you propose? I bet that I can bring in more money than you can in the next 24 hours. And we'll even do it on your home turf, the Montecito. Nice. And the winner would say that she... Or he. Would be Vegas's best. Why don't we make it interesting? Please. Winner gets bragging rights, loser leaves town. Deal? Deal. [Chattering] Hey. Is that the infamous Paul Logan I see at blackjack 22? Yep. He seems so... Stupid? I was gonna say sophisticated. That's no sophisticated, that's British. Don't be confused. Right. What's he doing in Vegas? Losing a bet. Huh? I bet him I could bring in more money than him in the next 24 hours. Loser leaves Vegas for good. Oh, Sam, are you sure that's wise? The guy is a legend. Thanks for the vote of confidence. You know what I mean. I'm the number one casino host in Las Vegas, no matter who my competition is. Right. Anyway, I have an ace up my sleeve, so I can't lose. An ace? Mm-hmm. Mr. Wu. He plays at least a million a visit. That sounds like an ace. Mm-hmm. Mr. Wu, hi. Let's get you to a table. I don't think so, Sam. Uh, is there a problem? I'll say. You have a ghost? Oh, the ghost. [Chuckles] That's absurd. Absurd? The spirits of my ancestors are with me always, Sam. Are you calling them absurd? No, absolutely not, sir. I meant no disrespect. It's just... Either way, it's bad luck to gamble under the same roof as a restless spirit. Good-bye. Let's go. Mr. Wu? Wow. Looks like your ace just folded. Gotta hand it to Monica. What? Even death can't keep that bitch from ruining my life. Hey, check that out. Camera R29. It keeps flicking on and off. Maybe it's a monitor problem. Can you switch the feed? Yep. Nope, looks like it's the camera. Isn't that about where Monica flew off the... What, you think maybe her ghost is trying to communicate with us? Like Morse code? Short, short, long... That's "Mike." Short, long, long, long..."Is." "Mike is going to die." That's very funny. Whoo, yeah. - Why don't you go check it out? - Why don't you? Or maybe you're scared. Takes a strong man to admit his fears. Fine. I'll go myself. [People Cheering, Laughing] What's going on? Mr. Harpel is playing every table at the high-roller pit, hundred thousand a hand. That's way above pattern, even for him. Mmm. It stings, doesn't it? You have no idea. Cézanne. You have a good eye. Harpel is a collector. Yes, I am aware of the fact that Harpel's a collector. So you bought him a Cézanne to get him to gamble? Not fair. Fair? That's a quaint American notion. You realize you're going to have to subtract the cost of this painting from your clients' total winnings, which is going to make it next to impossible... for you to win our little bet. What is that? Hmm? [Sniffing] Is that the scent of desperation? [Chuckles] Understandable, I suppose, the way Harpel's been playing. I'd guess I'm up on you by at least half a million. Oh, I doubt that. Anyway, I didn't buy the painting for Harpel. I merely borrowed it for him to enjoy while he plays. Oh, you just borrowed it? Friends at the Musée d'Orsay. Oh. From my days in Monte Carlo. You been to Monte Carlo, Sam? No. Have you ever been to Pahrump? [Both Chuckle] Exactly how long have you been planning this? Ages, gumdrop. Now let's run along, shall we? You know, I'd thought you had your work cut out since Mr. Wu's departure. It's so unfortunate, this haunting. I had no idea when I had that newspaper delivered to him that it would upset him so much. [Chuckles] So, you had the newspaper delivered. - Oh, I'll get that. - I'll have those then. Hmm. Knipex. If I held on to these, would you die a slow and painful death? Well, if I did, you wouldn't be able to say you were Vegas's top host. Yes, but it suddenly doesn't seem so important, compared to your certain suffering and demise. You'd rather kill me than compete against me? That's pathetic, really. Honestly thought you were better than this. I am better than this. [Wind Howling] [Siren Wailing In Distance] [Phone Beeps] Hello. Hey, Mike. Yeah. Sorry to disappoint you, but it's not a ghost. It's just a dislodged cable. Uh, must be the wind. - Yeah, right. - Ha, ha. [Phone Beeps] [Woman's Voice] Danny. [Woman Chuckling] Must be the wind. Hey, honey. Hey. Wow. Pretty crowded, huh? Naturally. - How did that inspection thing go? - Aced it. We should get the official report in a couple days. Ah. You know the entire food press is coming for Wolfgang's opening tomorrow, so that's... Excuse me, please. Very good. Excuse me, gentlemen. There is a line. You'll have to wait in it like everyone else. - I don't think so. - You don't think so? Why don't you think about this? Why don't you listen to what the young lady said and get in back of the line? Excuse me. Ladies and gentleman, by order of the Las Vegas Department of Public Health, this establishment is hereby closed for gross negligence... and flagrant violation of the Nevada food preparation safety guidelines. [Crowd Groans] If everyone would please leave through the nearest exit. Wait a second. Everyone, please leave now. Everyone out now. This place is closed. [Woman] The next Haunted Hotel Tour starts in 20 minutes. Okay. Mr. Deline. You, you and you. You work pretty fast. Well, opportunity knocked, I answered. Apparently. This ghost thing is big, Ed. Bookings have skyrocketed, up to a year in advance. Really? Yeah. I guess there's no accounting for taste or judgment. Well, that reminds me, I wanna talk to you about Monica's haunted suite. Listen to me. If you mention the ghost one more time like it exists, one of us is crazy and I'm not. I'm talking about our bottom line. I've gotten literally hundreds of calls from people wanting to rent the suite. Now if the Burkes don't want it, and we buy back Monica's suite and we rent it out... Hold it. It's just... No, no, no, no. I've already run the numbers. Even if we pay the Burkes top dollar, we'll still turn a profit within a few months. We'll make a killing. We'll make a killing? Oh, bad choice of words. I've thought about what you proposed, Mr. Burke, Mrs. Burke. And since you no longer want the suite, I'm willing to let you out of the deal and, uh, refund your entire purchase price. Oh, so now that the place is famous, you want it back. Mr. Deline, I am not a fool. I understand how valuable that suite's become to you. I was downstairs. I saw the line of people waiting for the "Haunted Montecito Tour." You want the suite back? You give me twice what I paid. Twice? I'll tell you what I'll give you twice of... - Ed. - What? Can I speak with you for a moment? Excuse us. What is it? It's worth it. Monica. You know even dead, that bitch is givin' me a headache. I don't know what you want, but don't you try any of that reverse psychology stuff on me again. It won't work. You hear me, Sam? Will not work. Relax. I have a simple question for you. Oh, a simple question? What's this, reverse reverse psychology? [Laughs] Touché, Ms. Marquez. Touché. Okay, l-I have no idea what you're talking about. Oh, playing the innocent. Very clever. You okay? This ghost stuff is getting to you, isn't it? Maybe a little. Yeah. Uh-huh. Anyway, what's the question? What do you know about a drug called Knipex? Knipex. Ah, it's a dopamine agonist used to treat neurological disorders. Stops tremors, that sort of thing. Wow. Even I feel bad trying to win a bet against a guy who's sick. But not that bad. All right. Thanks, Mike. Hi, honey. [Sighs] I knew I'd find you here. But you left so quickly last night. Well, I was trying to call that health inspector. Do you know how much money we're losing every day we're closed? Well, listen, overseeing Wolfgang Puck's new place, plus Opus, Mystique, all the beverage and food operations... You know, maybe it's just, you know, a little too much. Is that it? What? It's overwhelming. You're letting things slide. Slide? It's nothing to be ashamed of. That stuff happens. Happens all the time. But the question is, how... how can we fix this? I cannot believe you have so little faith in me. That inspector's just trying to get revenge on me for refusing to go out on a date with him. Come on, honey. That report's a fake. He made it all up. You'd know it if you went into the kitchen and checked out those supposed violations. Though you shouldn't have to check. What's all this? I just keep thinking about the Burkes. There's something... something not right with these two. Just 'cause they say their suite is haunted, doesn't mean they're "not right." I had the development office pull the, uh, information from the sale of Monica's condo... just so we could run a more comprehensive background check. What are you looking for? Ah, what are we looking for? That's the question. I wanna run a complete search on these two. Previous addresses, former employers, whatever you can think of. I want as much information as possible on those two. Sorry I asked. Hmm? You busy? No. [Together] Hey. What's wrong? You first. You mean you didn't hear about Mystique being shut down? Yeah. Yeah, I did hear about that. Health code violations. I thought it must be some kind of mistake. Hello. Everyone knows you're Montecito's official "germophobe" when it comes to Mystique. Thank you. It's just because I refused to go out with that crazy-ass health inspector. So what's your problem? Paul Logan. I heard he was in town. Oh, he's such a legend. Damn, he's cute. Not helping. Sorry. So what's your problem? I'm about to lose a bet with him, not to mention my pride and self-respect, unless I can get my hands on a whale in the next couple of hours. Well, that shouldn't be a problem. You are the number one casino host in Vegas. Maybe not for long. What are you talking about? I've tried everyone. You've got tons of big-money clients. No one can get here in time. And in the meantime, Logan is driving all of my old clients away, and stealing all of my new ones. Oh, and did I happen to mention that he somehow got Harpel to double his usual level of play? I just checked with the accountant. The staph releases toxins, causes neurodegeneration, causes a lesion. This is a waste of time. We should put an omaya reservoir in Foreman's brain and start administering anti... if I'm gonna be arguing with foreman, I may as well do it directly. Kernig's sign, negative. Brudzinski's sign, single positive. Patient joe luria, distal and proximal arm contractures, duration four seconds. Staph infection most commonly presents on the skin. Most commonly? You wanna treat me like any other patient, do it. But the house I know never uses phrases like "most commonly." You're not laughing anymore. No. Think that's a good thing? Sorta doubt it. Staph would be in your heart, lungs, spleen, liver, or kidneys before it gets to your brain. Your organs are clear. It's not staph. The infection could be limited to a brain abscess. Which I would have seen in your MRI. Sign this so that I can take out a piece of your brain. Let me see the MRI. There was no abscess on the image. Let me see it, then. I liked you better when you were jolly. MRI was taken over an hour ago. That soft spot could now be an abscess. If it was staph, you'd have a fever. Which you don't! 101.6. What idiot gave you that? Put the omaya reservoir in my skull and treat me for the staph. Triangle. This one? Uh... circle. Next. Foreman, why aren't you answering? Is there a problem? Uh, s-square. Tell me your date of birth. Is that House? - Yeah. Next. A square again. Why is he here? Because my neurologist is having surgery. Thought I was just another patient. You didn't believe that crap, did you? Date of birth. The omaya reservoir is inserted in the parietal lobe. My spatial recognition is the issue, not my memory. Did you say omaya? I could have sworn you said biopsy. Hey, I'm just messing with your head. Mother's maiden name, please. Get out of my temporal lobe, house. Hello? Are you awake? They told me somebody was sick like me. I'm up. Your voice... aren't you my doctor? Not anymore. You're the guy who doesn't like cops. Yeah. Can you see? You can't? Not a thing. You've been blind a while. The fact that you're aware of it now... it could be a sign of improvement. It hurts so much. Doesn't it? I'm okay. It's gonna hurt. The morphine barely takes the edge off. I'm gonna die, aren't I? You die, I die. It's not gonna happen. Why not? You're just too stubborn to die? They took a piece of my brain. Whatever's wrong with us... they'll find. Do you believe in prayer? Not really. Neither do I. My dad always prays. So does mine. Do you wanna try it? Try praying'? Okay. How is he? Still dying. Well, you've almost mastered another skill, though. That's good. Foreman's biopsy results. Non-specific signs of inflammation. That's it? We also swabbed for staph. Negative. He's not even a carrier. Well, at least foreman was wrong too. Yeah, there's that. Can I go to joe's apartment now? No. Go back to the lab. Start retesting all the samples that foreman collected. For what? Everything. Bacteria, toxins, fungus. Anything that likes to feast on brain. That's thousands of... better hurry. Cameron, suit up. You're gonna monitor foreman. He's on to hand contractures. He'll be in anton's blindness soon. Run hourly checks, because when he does go blind, he won't be able to tell us. We'll use the data to construct a timeline so we can see how far behind joe he is. Why are you still here? You're being cautious. You're being... common. When you don't give a crap about... how many of your guys have caught cancer from their patients? Let me know when that happens. Then we can have this conversation. It's just another case, huh? Gee, I bet you can even have unprotected sex with your cancer patients without catching a damn thing. Boy, I wish I had your job. Biopsy showed nothing. How can there be nothing? You cut out a piece of my brain. It's nothing personal. We just didn't find anything. Can you up his morphine for god's sake? He's already maxed out,20 milligrams per hour. What about toxins? Everything was negative. There was a cupboard above the stove. Did you see it? I didn't check all the food, but could be listeriosis. We didn't go back. Follow right. Who did? House said we shouldn't go. Too dangerous. The answer's gotta be in that apartment. Not going is too dangerous! I'm sorry. You're thankful. If house would have pointed at you instead of me, you'd be the one in here. Look straight forward, tell me when you can see... it's your job to go back! You're a doctor! You go where the disease is! Say when you can see the light. I'm dying, and you're sitting here measuring how fast I go? Tell me when you can see the light! My vision's fine! Your left-side periphery is reduced. It's fine, I'll prove it. Ow! Son of a bitch! Now we're both exposed. You got two choices. You can go tell house what just happened and get your own cot board in here, or you can go back to that apartment... you save me, the cop, and yourself. It's not sspe. I checked your past vaccinations against joe'S. No batch matches. Blood show antibodies for coxsackievirus? Guys, could you please shut him up? He's over his limit on morphine. Where's cameron? She said she has some stuff to do. Said she'd be back soon. What are you doing? Foreman! Stop! I can't take it! Imagine being constantly reminded of the... pain you're about to be in. I can't take it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it, stop it. Mainline morphine into his carotid could stop his heart! So could pain-induced stress cardiomyopathy. Either the morphine kills him or the pain does. - You're condoning this? ! I'm certainly not going in there to stop him. That'll make you feel better. Joe has a new symptom. Hyperalgesia. The infection's spreading to the pain center of the brain. Make it stop! Make it stop! His brain's telling him that his whole body's in pain, and because of the location, the painkillers do nothing. Suit up. Put the guy in a coma before the pain kills him. What if he used cedarwood to hide the pot smell? Aureobasidium fungus could grow there. Did you find any cedarwood anywhere? No, but maybe... maybe what? Maybe somebody could go back, take a second look? And why aren't you pissed off that cameron's playing hooky while your life hangs in the balance? Why doesn't anyone listen to me anymore? I decided you were wrong. God, you're weak. Guy steals your article... tells you you're not his friend... and you still want to risk your life for him. Foreman broke my skin with a tainted needle. Yeah. God, you're weak. Guy tried to kill you. First thing on my list of things to do would be to stab him back. Shoot him. I've got a gun in my desk. Last thing on my list would be to lie to my boss about it and then give the bastard everything he wanted. I'm not here for foreman. I'm here to save myself. Even with a needle stick, your chances of infection are pretty slim. That's why you're wearing the suit. You wanted to be here. He just gave you the excuse. What does that guy have to do to make you hate him? Give me the bag. Mildewed dish towel. - To retest for staph. What is that, mouse droppings? Hamster droppings. Could carry toxocara. Explain the blindness. Now, that I recognize as oven crud. Could be meat with trichinella. Would explain the high fever. What's with rye bread? Mold could be responsible for ergot poisoning, which would explain the contractures. There are three loaves. - So? You're going back in there. Guy who lives on take-out pizza does not buy three loaves of rye. That's looking too far into the future. Unless he cares about something a lot more than his diet. You on the roof yet? Yeah, I'm here. I don't see any birds. Whistle or something. Do that come hither thing. They came that fast because it's their behavior pattern. Joe's been feeding them. Now look down. You see a river of pigeon turd? Uh... no. There's barely any. It's not weird, it's cheap. Joe's a guy whlooks for the easy way. Probably been stealing cable from his neighbors. Why not steal fertilizer from rats with wings? You see a shovel or a dustpan? Mmm, found a scraper. Looks used. Sitting on a bucket. Bucket full of pigeon crap. Perfect home for cryptococcus neoformans. Yep. Fungus enters the brain through the sphenoidal sinus, where it dances its triple threat of happiness, blindness, and intractable pain. Let's hope this experience teaches our cop a lesson. Don't cut corners when you're growing your pot. See you back home. I was there. I should have found it. Yeah, you could have saved us a lot of time. Get me a flush of ampho b and flucytosine. I'll start us both. I was waiting for lab confirmation. Haven't heard from house yet. Look at his eeg. Theta band's been increasing steadily since... since we put him under. Guy's unconscious, but still in pain. Theta bands could indicate at least half a dozen different things. One of which is pain. The fact that he's no longer screaming makes us feel better, not necessarily him. Chase! How's cameron? She's not giddy. Fever's down. White count's improving. Has she said anything to you? You mean like,"I completely understand why foreman did what he did, and I hold no grudge?" What I did... did save my life. Get in here and help! Forget the suit! He's tachycardic! Wide-complex looks like v-tach! It's not cryptococcus! What? - House was wrong. The samples were negative. So what is it? We don't know! - Give him in the amio. Do we have any more leads? That was our lead! Foreman! So the treatment isn't doing anything. Foreman! He's in v-fib! No good. Hit him again. Come on, man. Come on, joe. Hit him again! Give him an amp of epi! Nothing! He's has multiple-system failure. Foreman. Come on, joe. Foreman. Foreman! Time of death. No. Time of death. 12:26 pm. Created by GeoffS I was starting to think that your absence was from sulking, Robbie. And what, and miss such a performance? A puppet is still a puppet, French prince or not. Oh, hush will you. Kill him! A Jesuit missionary, found spreading subversive propaganda. Whatever the crime, grisly fate for any man. But then a man's fate lies in his own hands, does it not? Is this choice of being here too remind me where my loyalties lie? A lesser man might be insulted. We're under no illusion, Master Gifford. The ten years we've kept the Queen of Scots confined has made her a martyr to her Catholic supporters. My Lord Burghley. The gentleman I spoke of, Master Gifford We also know... another attempt to rescue her, has been devised. It's details...we lack The Catholic's League in Europe is behind this one. Once our freedom is secured, King Philip has pledged Spain's support to a... To assassinate Queen Elizabeth as a prelude to invasion. And your role in this enterprise? To act as... an intermediary, to find a means of communication with the Scottish Queen, Seek her approval. But... your zeal of her security has put play to her... her contact with foreign powers. If we were to be.... less zealous, allowing your access to her. There was a man... who worked as her page when first she knew him. She sought sanctuary in England. He volunteered to orchestrate her rescue. His name? Anthony Babington. As the noxious humor is released, The diseased area is purified. Your pain will ease. * Theory of the 4 Moods-Medic. medieval* What humor is out of balance? The fourth... His earth melancholy, my lord. See how dark his blood is? That signifies bile which... Oh, yes, yes, uh... carry on, do. As for trying to keep his visit a secret by hiding him behind that screen... They say every tavern in London laying bets on when his betrothal will be announced. The Duke of Anjou is a whey-faced brat half her age. Such a man will never capture her hand, much less her heart. Oh, she seems most taken with him. And last night, later. When you were, um... indisposed? It has transpired to everyone, she was captivated by him. He talked of nothing but his wit, his intellect. "My Prince Frog" she calls him, and his emissary, Simier, she calls her monkey. Though I confess I sometimes wonder which of the two she prefers? Precisely her purpose, Christopher... to keep us all wondering. The wonder is you are so..gritless to fall for it. The wonder is, she has not yet guessed your own situation. Throughout the world, you know how she feel about such a subterfuge and the depth of her rage should she discover it. Let us hope your noxious humor will soon be cured, My Lord, For all our sakes. Sir Francis Drake began his passage here. From Plymouth he sailed south...southward And it was here that Sir Francis faced his first challenge, the mutiny of his crew. But instead of punishing them, he offered them their release. Not a single man on his side. Not one. More pity for Spain and the treasures you stole from their colonies, My Lord. Sir Francis is known for his entrepreneurial spirit. And at such a distance, what could a poor queen do? A mouse! For the love of God! Do not stay there! Kill him! For the queen, kill the beast! Kill him! Um... Babington letter to the, um, queen of Scotland. Y... You can say that I don't deliver, sir. How long to decrypt the code? As long as it takes, sir, as always. Do not fail me, Master Gifford. I can not concentrate while being watched, sir. Privacy, please. Good morning sir. Go..go! Ahhhhh.... Do something, you dolt heads! Kill him. Kill him, I said! Marriage to Anjou is the only option. How else do we halt Spain's supremacy in the region? They've already annexed Portugal is England to be next? If you know of a better protection than an alliance with France, My Lord, name it. A treaty. Treaties can be reneged upon. The match ensures our security and the succession in one stroke. And if nothing else, puts paid to the vile rumors that I am barren born. It has taken us years of negotiation to get this far with the duke, My Lord. Do not undermine that now, for God's sake. Marriage will make the Papal Menace vanish in a puff of smoke. War with Spain will be averted and the Catholics here, appeased. The war will come to us if people get wind of such a union. They'd rather take on Spain with their bare hands than subsume to France. Enough, My Lords. Pick up the pace! Our dinner is escaping. If I could have a moment, Your Majesty. The draft of my Act of Association for your approval, Your Majesty. Parliament is waiting for your response to ratify it. "Any claimant or his associates conspiring to seize the throne shall forfeit all right of succession. " And their lives. We all witnessed your distress over the signing of the of the Duke of Norfolk's death warrant. This act absolves you of all such onerous responsibility. You will simply be adhering to the law, discharging your responsibility to the state and allowing us... I'm not so obtuse I cannot grasp the implications, Sir Francis. and if the claimant is ignorant of any conspiracy on their behalf on that count, my sister could have sent me to the scaffold. As your heir, the Queen of Scots would do the same given the opportunity. And the blood she would shed would not be yours alone. Her ambition for making them Catholic once more would engulf your people in a civil war more catastrophic that anything your sister ever inflicted on us. The physician awaits, Your Majesty. Amend it. The claimant must have knowledge of any conspiracy on their behalf. Proven knowledge, Sir Francis. My signature contingent on that. As you know, Your Grace, The purpose of my examination is to ascertain whether there is any physical impediment to your bearing a child. I'm afraid it requires that I... Do what you must, sir. Get it over with! I find nothing which prevents Her Majesty from bearing a child. A sublimation code, see? Every letter of the alphabet is replaced by another. These..uh.. coded symbols. They indicate the key words. Some letters appear with more frequency. The letter E, for example... But the content, sir! Does Babington lay out the details of their conspiracy? If it sufficient? "Proven knowledge" is what Her Majesty demanded. For that we need the Queen of Scots response. All shall come to ye who waits, Master Phelippes. Excuse me, sir. Come come! Come! The Earl of Leicester, they are close, are they not? How close? Tell me. That, is the Queen's private business, Sir. We are not permitted to discuss such things out of the bedchamber. Then let us find the bedchamber then, eh? I can tell you something but I can't tell you here. I see, eh. The Earl of Leicester has been so much a loyal friend, sir! It's a sorry day when I listen to poisoned mouths of others! That you choose to indulge gives you no credit credit, monsieur. Your Majesty, he is not worth your loyalty. He has betrayed you! He has betrayed you. May God strike me down if I tell a lie! Who else knows? Why was I not told? Your audience with the queen is delayed, my lady. You dumb faced tone of a scallion...! A lying, cheating naive! A mangled heart is the sign of a mongrel traitor! My fault was ever to place my trust in you! And if your slyness, your treachery was not enough, you dare to deny me the chance of my own marriage, While seizing it yourself with that shame of...! that vixen! I don't offer you the chance marriage a dozen times, and a dozen times you refused me! And thank God for my wit that I did for my masterful escape! You are loathsome to my eyes! I detest the very sight of you! I have mortgaged my life In the hope that someday we would be together. I have stood by and watched while others fall at your feet, flattering your vanity... You did not go empty handed for your pains! Well it was a poor exchange for an empty bed! This wretched vow of virginity was your choice, not mine. This marriage was when? A year since past. Was she still in my service when it began? After she left...when? In your service. It was...for comfort, Bess, it was a diversion. And when she left my court to marry Walter Devereux did you still partake of her comfort? How fortuitous for you both he died so suddenly. Her son, who bears Devereux's name .. he too is called Robert, is it not? Does he have dark eyes, like you? Such a rank insinuation is unworthy of you, Bess. The bond we shared was like no other, Robbie. You have defied it. So what's it to be banishment again, Bess? Another... mission abroad? Henceforth, if I see you, I shall not know you. You are dead to me. Look on her well, Lettice, for there true loyalty lies, It is a pity you did not learn from Kat's example, is it not? I am heart broke, Your Majesty, that.. we have so incurred your displeasure. and as we can not always choose where loves arrows falls. Such sentimental claptrap finds no favor with me, madam. Get up! Imported silk? From France. The color is too vulgar for my taste. Gold? I'm been told you also run a lavish household. A retinue of staff, distinct soirees, hunting parties... for all the world, the queen holding court. I must occupy myself some how, whilst my husband tends you, Your Grace. Then I have some cheerful news for you. His attentions on me is no longer required. All gifts, gratuities and monopolies, shall cease..forthwith, along with his salary. You must to live within your means, Lettice. Cut your cloth. Though I doubt it would imported now. Do you remember those many years ago, when my sister held us at the Tower? Those long nights, hearing the lions roar? The screaming from the rack, the stench of death in our nostrils? Come into my presence again, and I fetch you back! Go! Go! trounced again! How does she do it? They say that chess is the gymnasium of the mind, My Lord. Such a mind. Such a body. You are indeed heaven sent. "My Lord Leicester has taken ill, Your Grace. He hope that you might attend to him. How many times has he fallen ill just to get my attention? How many times have I run to him? I'm am done with this trickery. Tell him to pack his bags, be gone! Bess. Thank God. What, no fever? Is that beyond your contrivance? Your melodramas are always entertaining, My Lord, they light even the dullest day. I know that companionship with the flesh.... is a poor substitute for what we both share, Bess. I am but a man, after all. That it had to be her is what cuts. Be thankful it was her. In exchange for privileges, she settled into a loveless marriage. My heart lies elsewhere, and we both know it. Now tell me... is it truly your world to wed your frog prince, Bess? Hmm? You asked for your penance. That is it, Robbie. I will whom I shan't love. and I do it for an heir. A child. I am of an age now when the idea of that... You have malingered long enough, My Lord. You have duties at court. It was a poor show this time, Robbie. Not up to your usual performance. Yes! Your Majesty! By one John Stubbs of Norfolk. "The discovery of a vacant gulf where as England is likely to be swallowed by a French marriage. "Let all true subjects know that the queen is being led like a lamb to the slaughter... " "... in this disastrous union with the Duke of Anjou. "How can His Majesty surrender her virginity to a foreigner... and Catholic, be subject to his influence? Has she forgotten the bloody legacy of her sister from such a match? Proof of his deviousness, is in his desire to marry a woman... so many years older." We must double the sentries in your quarters. Outside the palace, an armed guard must accompany you all the time. And let my people think I've succumbed to this malicious spleen? All copies of this profanity must be confiscated. I want this man Stubbs apprehended and dealt with. Hostility to your projected marriage is not limited to a handful of miscreants, Your Grace. The view is widespread among your subjects. And you, gentlemen... where do you focus your opinion now on this matter? This decision is too weighted to take alone, My Lords. I must have your council on how I am to proceed. Advise me! I can not wait for that day, Your Majesty! I will live for it! Let the jewels on my dress be like a thousand eyes, so that my subjects know, however distant, I am always watching out for them. And let there be no shadows on my face or my neck, for they accentuate age. Immortal is the look we're after, sir, and virginal. Divinity, if you can so render it. My hair should be loose. Oh, and make much of my hands! Emphasize your slenderness, Because I have been told that they are my best feature. Henceforth, when my people think of their queen, this is the image they must see. Her reply, the Queen of Scots writes mainly of her rescue. On the subject of assassination, she is... more circumspect. Your proven knowledge might be hard to prove, sir. I heard tell when Her Majesty was to be sent to the Tower by his sister, she wrote begging her for mercy. In order...that no incriminating postscripts could be later be added, she drew lines like thus. Pity her cousin lacked such forethought. Take this down. "I would be be glad to know..." Is this to be in...in her coded letter? Both the coded letter and the transcription, Master Phelippes. "I would be glad to know the names of the 6 gentlemen who are going to accomplish the dispatch of the impostor queen. With such knowledge, I may advise them on how best to achieve their mission. As you see, her postscript is in response to the Babington's letter. I took the precaution yesterday to order a search in his quarters in Derbyshire. Texts on encrypted codes were secreted there. Also drafts of letters to her agents in Spain. There is no question of her culpability. Mr. Babington and his associates should be rounded up, brought to trial. And the Queen of Scot! If my cousin confesses her guilt, And vows to put an end to her wretched plotting, she will yet be pardoned. The new Association Statute dictates, as claimant and chief conspirator, she, too, must be brought to trial. Your Majesty, that is law now. How pressing you were on that legislation, Sir Francis. I see now that I underestimated you in that regard. I will not make the same mistake again. My Lords, you shall attend to the proceedings on my behalf. Remember the eyes of the world herald the actions of us princes... and judge us accordingly. "Cousin, you have in various ways and means, attempted to take my life, and bring my kingdom to destruction by bloodshed. These treason's have been proved against Babington, and your fellow conspirators, have been punished for their actions. Ii is my command that you answer the peers of my kingdom, as if I myself, were present. Act honestly, cousin, and you might yet attain my favor. " 30 noblemen commissioned as judges, arranged thus. Come on. Put it there, To indicate the presence of the queen, in her absence. And the Queen of Scot's? If... if we place her adjacent, that makes her an equal. She goes there, where we can read her face. No, could you...? Get this damn dog out of here! We need chairs here and here. "I repudiate the legality of these proceedings against me. Like you, as a queen I am subject only to God's jurisdiction. The evidence against me is fraudulent. I know nothing of this man Babington, nor ever exchanged letters with him. I declare I would rather shipwreck my soul than secure death." He is tireless in her wretched protestations of innocence. I fear she is intent on treating the trial as a theater, where she plays the innocent martyr, unjustly accused by her heretic sister queen, thus hoping to inspire her Catholic supporters to rise against you... so destroy you after all. Your commissioners have... reached a verdict, Your Majesty. The Queen of Scotland is guilty of the charge of treason, and to conspiring in your association. As you know, the penalty for such an offense is.... Death! We two were ........... upon our arms, and this matter was just between us. Even knowing that she has sought my death, I would never consent to hers. But as I carry the burden of my nation's welfare, I must demand his blood. Her co-conspirator were hung, drawn and quartered, Your Grace. Anything less than her death will reek of nepotism. Or worse... a vengeful queen expunging her rival heir. And her execution could yet send clarion call to Spain... to make good their threat.... send their Armada against us! Be warned, cousin. One day, you will be held to accounts for your unjust treatment of me, For my blood and misery I have endured at your hands, will be remembered by every Catholic of your kingdom, and in Europe. They will cross the water and avenge my death. The blood in your hands will stain your kingdom, for centuries to come. Why can not some other method be found.. Poison? Do you think if your hand is unseen, God... will be lenient on you? My enemies might. Spain, to name but one. You make such play to this queen who she and you are alike. Is it not in how you discharge that duty where...the difference lies? She has always let her heart to rule her head, Put passion before politic need. If you shrink before this duty now, Bess, then indeed you risk the accusation that you are alike. As a woman, you are just not equal to the task. She will sign the death warrant. Oh God in heaven, forgive me! What have I done? He was bound for France to collect salt, and there was the Spanish fleet. 130 galleons, I counted. Like a vast floating city, they were, in half moon formation, stretched near ten miles across. The masts and prows are of such height, Your Majesty, such might it seems they wiped out the very sky, the ocean groaning under their weight. The beacons are lit. They are sighted off the Cornish coast. Heading which way? Northeast, if my intelligence is sound, to anchor off Calais, to wait for the second fleet to embark from Flanders here, and join them. Then it begins. Their soldiers are professionals, expertly trained. If they get to the channel, they will sweep through Kent, crush London within a week. Not any of the Spaniards will get through, sir, not while I have breath! What word from Plymouth? Drake and the Western Squadron, left under the cover of darkness. and he means to get behind the Spanish fleet, and attack from the rear. Let us pray to God that the tides stay with them. News, My Lords! I lack news! Is Isle of Wight secure? Not barely, Your Grace. Two galleons are lost to them. Only two? Then it is stalemated. Drake's Squadron Is even now pursuing them towards the Straits of Dover. Without sufficient ammunition for his cannons, Is all they can do. And the fleet of Flanders? Hold up by storms, My Lady. Let us that it will be a Protestant wind, My Lords, that keeps blowing for us. More papal propaganda the Spaniards carry is of no interest. "Incestuous bastard of the depraved courtesan Anne Boleyn cursed heretic, shame of her sex and princely name " Of no interest, indeed. I fear it may be of interest to your Catholic subjects, Your Grace, Have faith, my lord. they're English before they are Catholics. Oh God! It's Queen Bess! My God! She's the Queen! The Queen! May God save the Queen! God is with us, Your Majesty! A statement from Cardinal Don Pedro, captured by Drake in Rosario. "Upon our glorious assault on England, all heretics will be whipped by chains until dead. "Protestant children under 7 to follow their fathers; the rest, branded on the forehead with the letter L of Lutherans. " How very original. When this is over, you'll go to Buxton, Robbie. Take the water. Or I shall brand you myself! The L shall not be for Lutheran, But lunkhead! The second fleet is set to embark from Flanders. Then in the name of God, listen to reason. For your own safety you must return to Whitehall. The trust you put in your people is worthy, Bess, but if they turn against you, There is no protection for you here. Or is it a martyr's death battle you hanker for, and a hero's epitaph? What greater purpose to a prince's life than to teach us how to die? They say the Queen of Scots met her death with courage. yet it took three strokes of the axe to dispatch her. After there was panic, they thought they still detected some movement in her. It was just his horrible dog, sheltering beneath her skirts. I'm not yet her final epitaph. When the executioner lifted up her severed head, it fell from his hand. He was left only holding her wig. There's a thin line between respect and ridicule, is it not? "My loving people, I have always so conducted myself that, under God, my strength and safety lies in the loyal hearts and good will of my subjects so I come amongst you at this time....." "I come amongst you at this time, not for recreation, but being resolved that amidst in heat of battle to live or die among you all. To lay down my for my God, and my kingdom and my people, my honor and my blood, even in the dust. " I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king... and a king of England too! And I think foul score that Spain or any prince of Europe should dare to invade the borders of my realm, to which, rather than face that dishonor, I will myself take up arms beside you. I will be your general and your reward will be your virtues in the fields. We know that you already deserve rewards and grants, and we do assure you, in the word of prince, they shall be paid to you. And take heed to, of my lieutenant general, for no prince ever commanded a more worthy or noble subject is he. By your obedience to him, for your valor in battle, We shall yet win a famous victory over those enemies of God... For my kingdom and of my people! "Night of the 28th of July, 2 miles southeast of Calais... Reinforced by Seymour and Winters... " They are celebrating. The news should be... Yes Yes! Read! Read! "Drake released eight fire ships among the anchored the Spanish galleons, to dislodge their formation. believing the ships were primed with gunpowder, the Spaniards cut their anchors..... " and fled in utmost confusion. The running battle was there after maintained near Gravelines. So close were we to the enemy, we were within speak one another. Then the wind shifted, what remained of the Amada was swept by storms and gales to flounder in the North Sea. " And the Flanders' force? Intelligence that the Flanders force will not embark without the protection of the Spanish fleet. " Then they are vanquished? God breathed and they were scattered! We're saved, Robbie! Majesty, please, I beg you, open the door to me. God bless you all! this is not just a Protestant victory, but England's victory! This is all our victory! We are safe, Excellency! Victory, My Lords, Victory! My lord, we must make the preparations. For our celebration. I will issue the proclamation for a day of holiday throughout the realm. And a new coin must be struck in honor of our triumph. And let us make a victory procession to St. Paul's, to thank God... So solemn on such a day, William? Shame on you! I must speak to you alone, Your Grace. As you know, after Tilbury, the Earl of Leicester Was going to journey to Buxton to take the waters. On route he fell ill with a fever, and was forced to stop at his hunting lodge in Oxford. He was found there this morning by his servant Say it is not so. Say it is not so. He was alone when...? Oh. Oh, my heart is wrenched from me! There was a letter for you by his side. Oh, God, not this. Anything but this. Your Majesty? News from Ireland. The wrecks of yet more of the Spanish fleet are washed up on their shores. They say that the coast is littered with their corpses! The Pope himself acknowledges Your supremacy, Your Grace. He said only a woman, Mistress of one half of a small island, yet you have made yourself feared by Spain, by France and through all of Europe! Majesty, enough now! Throughout the realm your people call your triumph the greatest victory since Agincourt, and can not celebrate it without you. My Lord Leicester would never want his passing to eclipse your finest hour. I humbly beseech you to pardon your poor old servant, being so bold in writing to ask how my gracious Lady is. As ever, your welfare is all that consumes me. As for my own poor case, I am hoping to find a perfect cure at Buxton as you instructed, so I can all the more quickly return to your side. Until then, as always, I kiss your feet. Your most loving, most faithful servant, Robbie. That young man yonder.... Do I know him? Robert Devereux, Your Grace. The second Earl of Essex. My Lord Leicester's stepson, Majesty. Do you not remember? I recall, My Lord, when you were introduced to me as a child, you shrank from me. So afraid were you I might deigned to kiss you. I am a grown man now, Your Majesty... and know better. His son in all but the name. You want to trip, I'll bring it to ya ? Frylock and I'm on top, rock you like a cop ? Meatwad, you're up next with your knock-knock ? Drivin' in my car, livin' like a star ? Ice on my fingers and my toes, and I'm a Taurus ? Make the homeys say ho and the girlies want to scream ? Make the homeys say ho and the girlies want to scream ? Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Number One in the 'hood, g. Hey, here's one -- "Looking for dollars? Are you gullible -- and stupid? As hell? You may qualify to be part of our dangerous experiment. Bring your resume, wallet, social security, ATM and all credit cards to Carl's car wash. Minorities need not apply, or we gonn' sue your balls to the wall. That sounds promising. That job is perfect for you! ? Come on, get your car wash! Get it on ? ? Come on, get your car wash on ? Hot dog, we want you to get your car washed! Hey, look at this igloo! Now go on and get your car washed! Come on, y'all. Somebody get a car wash. Thanks for the beverage! Man on PA: Meatwad, report to Brain Quarters. Meatwad, report to Brain Quarters. Oh, shoot. I'm in it now. We've been open six months and had not one customer. You don't think it's -- it ain't my dancing, is it? Yes, it is your dancing. Show me your shapes. Oh, I got a ton. Here, check this out. Hot Dog. Igloo. Igloo. Hot Dog. Igloo. Igloo. Igloo. Those are not enough shapes! No one will wash their car here because of you! I got more shapes. I mean, come on. I know all sorts of shapes. I better go home and practice me some shapes. Yes, you will! You better go! You better go! Okay, here we go. Here comes a chair. Close enough. What are you doing Meatwad? Trying to get into shape. Some other shape other than hot dog or igloo. I can't think of nothing new. You know, there's more than just those two shapes? There is? Let's try this one. An octagon. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that Chuck Norris movie? That ain't Chuck Norris. And it's not an octagan either. Hey, do Octopussy. Like this here? That's what I'm talking about. There you go. You know what? I gotta go take a dump. I don't know. All these shapes just freakin' hurtin' my kidneys. Why can't people just like me for me? But sadly, no one does. Not even the president. He's a great guy, though. If I don't come up with some new shapes, I'm gonna lose my damn job. He says he don't need me. I be the first to go. I have an idea. That will cost you $20 dollars. What do you want? Shake: Get your car washed. ? Get your car washed uh, uh ? ? Get your car washed uh, uh ? Or you a dumbass gonna get your ass whooped. ? Or you a dumbass gonna get your ass whooped ? Right here and now! Right here and now. Really emphasize the "now." You're mad with this guy. Right here and now, boy. Now shove him. Physically. That's not necessary. Very thoughtful, but, uh, you know, up yours. 'Cause 2 Wycked don't need no wash right now. I just hit it with a Chamois. She's gleaming like the freakin' sun. Drop the load! Yeah! So, can I pencil you in for an appointment? Y'all a bunch of dumbasses gonna get your ass whooped! Then you go in there and get your car washed! Oops! Nice throw, wussy. Oh, dang it. Brain: Meatwad, report to Brain Quarters. Meatwad, report to Brain Quarters. We have a customer! I repeat, we have a customer! Better be free, little meat man. Oh, Carl, it is, believe me. I want the UV with the triple foam protectorant, and the car nouveau waxed. The good stuff. You just don't even worry about it. Just sit back on that gurney, and, you know, suck from that mask, and relax. All right, then. This is very comfortable here. Wearing a paper gown is a little off-putting, but, you know, I'll go with it. When we do the interior, we like to enhance it with an aroma. Do you have a favorite aroma you'd like to pick? We'd love to facilitate that. You got Pina Colada? Nah, I'm afraid not, sir. No Pina Colada. Okay, how about Strawberry Boobs? Nah, we ain't got that, neither. What we do have is Athlete's Foot, Bloated Beach Cod, and Stank Breath. Go through the list again. Oh, here we go. This is the first part of our patented three-step treatment. That kinda looks like you're just sorta flinging dirt on it. What it actually is is Dumpster Juice. Which is a combination of rain water and garbage. Very acetic, very harsh on your paint job. And why are we doing this again? It's just a pre-coat. I mean, obviously we need to prep the outer coat for, you know, the cat urine. And, of course, the hammers. What the frick are you doing? Hey, Carl, let's lay back down and relax, okay? Just allow the mystery gas to do its work. And don't worry. We totally redo the paint. In a color of our own choosing. Yeah, whatever. I'm easy. Hello, Carl. I too, am Carl. And this is my son, Carl Jr. We are all Carls. Neat. Yes, yes. Remove his brain! I wonder if you can get the whole thing in your mouth. Hey Meatwad, how's the job going? Um, just okay. Carl washed his car there, didn't he? Yeah, but... But what? I'm having some reservations about this work. And some nightmares. Nightmares? There was a time in my life when I thought dancing in front of the car wash would be the only thing I'd ever want to do, but the way these people wash cars... I just don't know anymore. Well, Carl seems happy with it. Is he licking it? Yeah, he's been doing that all morning, I'm afraid. You know, snakes -- in the wild, of course -- have to unhinge their jaw to eat a car. I think the trouble with you is that you have all that skin around your mouth. Shake! What? He's doing it! Carl? Carl. Carl? Carl. Oh, no! Oh, no. Someone's taken Carl's brain! That is what I've been trying to tell you. Really? Well, you haven't been very specific about it! I know I haven't. Because they says if I tell anyone, I'm gonna lose my job dancing in front of the car wash. Well, I'll tell you what, we're gonna do something about it right now. Look here, we can keep this cool, between us 'cause, look, this the third job I lost this week. Come on y'all. We're gonna go get us a car wash. Are you outta your mind? They take your brain out! I know that! They take your brain out over there. Here, I got a coupon. That's okay, Carl. I got the employee discount. Free triple foam polish with UV protectorant. Come on, Shake. I'm trying to create a show here. I'm a show. What time the show come on? Brain: Brain Slave, report to Brain Quarters. Brain Slave, kindly report to Brain Quarters. Brain Slave! The new Brain Slave refuses to report! Ain't nothing but a brain. As are we, Son. And we do our job! You right, Daddy. You right! Go on and fetch this Brain Slave, and kindly ask him to be on bug removal! Permanently! Customer, Daddy! Get my blue fright wig at once! Greet them with a smile, Son. A hard plastic smile. We got a free dashboard cleaning, get the lint balls off your car, free tire shine! You'll get all that with a free brain removal. Carl Brain: Moron, don't tell them! I meant to say car wash. Now gas them! Quickly! Look, I just came by to tell you that I've told the police about your little brain operation here. Yeah, and they didn't believe us. No, they didn't. Then we shall call them and show them pictures! That's a good idea, Daddy. It is a very good idea. Where's Carl's brain? I am Carl Brain. No, Carl's Brain. I am Carl Brain. No, no, no. Different carl, okay? I am Carl Brain. My friend Carl, his brain! Behind you. Is that Carl's Brain? Over there? On the expressway? Beware, for it will immediately seize you upon my, command, and your mind will be enslaved to forever... Polish the chrome at this wash -- car wash. This is retarded. Oh, he called you retarded, Daddy. Stop him at once. From calling me retarded. Too late, he did it. He got away. Go eat your brain now, Carl. Dinner time, isn't it? Oh, look at that. It's dinner time. Oh, no, you don't. Where do you think you're going? Home, now get out of here. We are closed. We open at 10:00 tomorrow. I think what Mac's trying to say... is that it's probably the greatest movie of all time. That's 'cause it is. Rocky IV is not the greatest movie of all time. Dee, what do you consider to be a good movie? - I don't know, like, Million Dollar Baby... - Oh, come on. - Are you kidding me? That is ridiculous. - Come on. It won an Oscar. Rocky IV has Stallone in it... and he bashes a Russian's face to all smithereens. Lifting anvils and shit, and pulling trucks through the snow. Million Dollar Baby is totally unrealistic. - Girls can't fight. They don't have muscles. - It's true. Okay, that is a horribly sexist thing to say. It's not sexist. It's just truthful. Girls can't pull trucks through snow. - Can you pull trucks through snow? - I absolutely could. - You can barely walk in the snow. - Excuse me. Time out. Is the truck parked in neutral? - Hey! - What, dude? Empty your pockets. - Now. - Okay. Hey, let's just all stay calm. Nice friends. Maybe... one to two inches of snow? - One to two inches... - And a Ford F-150. Right. In park, but no emergency brake. Maybe I could pull it four feet. - I'd give him four feet. - I'd give him five. What's with the gym bag? Just got back from a "Boxercise" class at the gym. "Boxercise"? What kind of queer shit is that? - I'm learning self-defense. - You wanna learn self-defense, you come to Daddy. I mean, all during the '60s, before I met my whore wife, I was a boxer. They called me Frankie Fast Hands. Frankie Fast Hands, everybody. Yeah, keep livin' in the past, Dad. Is this about that stupid Million Dollar Baby movie, Dee? No, actually, Mac, it's about being left with a mugger... because my chickenshit brother and his friends ditched me. - You ditched your sister? - Absolutely. - With a mugger... - The guy had a knife. Of course we did. What were we supposed to do? If I was there, I would have used my Frankie Fast Hands technique. Technique don't mean shit out on the streets. Guys have knives. Yeah. In boxing, there are rules. On the streets, we ain't got no rules. Ain't no rules out on the streets. - You guys got no rules on the streets, you. - Oh, please. Will you stop talking about the streets... you three jackasses, like you've been there? I mean, any underground street fight in Philadelphia, you'd find tons of technique. - You think you could teach me? - In a month I'll have you kicking all their asses. Right. See you then. Dennis, I have an idea. - Well, this is awesome. - Yeah. This is amazing. There's blood everywhere. It's beautiful. Yeah, and we were totally right. These guys don't have technique. They get all cranked up like animals and beat the Christ out of each other. Look at all this money being thrown around. - Dude, we gotta get in on this. - Oh, yeah. - Really, I think it's about who can take the biggest beating. - Yeah. Get up! You know who can take a really good beating? - Charlie. - Charlie. Here she is... The old gym. Smell that? - That's the smell of hard work. - And feet. That's the smell of big dreams. The smell of glory. - It smells like feet. - And feet. Does smell like feet. - Frank? - Oh, shit. Frankie Fast Hands! - Holy crap. I knew it was you. I haven't seen you in years. Hey-Hey-Hey, Frankie, it's me. Bobby Thunderson. - Yes. Yes. Yes, Bobby. - Look at you! You... really let yourself go. Oh-Oh, are you trying to get back into fighting form? No, I'm actually, uh, teaching my daughter some self-defense. Holy... Holy shit, man. I'm training my daughter too. Hey, what do you know? Hey, look at her. Look at her over there. Look, look, look. Oh! Amazing. Hey, she's pretty too, huh? Like her old man, huh? - Well, it's really nice seeing you, Bob. - Yeah. Hey, don't listen to everything this guy tells you. You don't wanna get knocked out in the first round. Oh, my God, that's an annoying sound he makes. - Ass... hole. - Yeah, asshole. Okay, don't listen to anything he says. He's a real creep. All right, now. Here, we're gonna start weight training. First things first... Squats. Okay. That's it. Uh, that looks really heavy. Look. This is not gonna be a half-assed workout. We gotta really get into it. It's gonna hurt. - Yeah, but I can't lift that. - Just position yourself under the bar and listen to me. Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna take all the weight on your neck. Then you're gonna jam your legs down and hyperextend your ankles... and then shoot back up and lock your knees in place. Not one of those things sounds right to me at all. Look. You wanna fight like a man? You gotta train like a man. Now, come on. Gimme a squat. - Ready. Go! - Oh, my God! - Go. Keep it up. - Daddy, I can't. - It's... I can't. - Keep it up. Keep it up. At least I got the one. Right? Yeah. Get out, get out, get out. We got a lot of work to do. Good, good. - Ah! - Mm-hmm. What are we doing? Charlie, you're, like, the toughest guy we know. - Yeah? - So nobody can kick your ass, right? - Practically invincible. - Yeah. Yeah, what's your point though? Well... So here's what's gonna happen, pal. Dennis and I are gonna train you... to be an underground street fighter. What? That is brilliant. - Yeah, it is. - Okay, what's the first step? - First step is getting that shirt off. - Yeah, let's get that shirt off. - Why would I do that? - That shirt's just gonna weigh you down. Yeah, and Rocky never wears a shirt when he trains... so let's just go ahead and rip that bad boy off. I think I'm gonna wear it. That's ridiculous. You can't train and wear a shirt, dude. Now it's becoming this whole big thing. It feels a little gay. - It's not gay. Just take your shirt off. - It's not gay. Why can't I just get, like, all excited and passionately rip it off in the moment? - Why can't you just take your shirt off for us? - Just drop it for now. All right, all right. Uh, maybe you should punch something. - There you go. - Yeah, you should punch something... Why don't you punch this board? Okay. Hold it steady for me. - Watch your eyes. - All right, come on. Oh! Oh, that's... - That looks like it stings. - Oh, my God. - What's that made out of? - It's a board, so it's, you know, made out of wood. - It's, like, particle board. - It's, like, harder than wood, dude. - No. - It's actually softer than wood. - Yeah, it's a lot softer than wood. - Petrified wood. - What happened, man? I thought you were... - I don't know. - I wasn't drunk enough. - You should be drunk for this. - We should all be drunk for this. - Let's get really drunk. - All right. - Yeah. You know what? I'll get some beers. - Come with me. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let him go. - Mmm. - I don't know what happened. - Mmm. Mmm. - Mmm. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Deandra, we've been at this for days now. It's like you have no motor skills. Just grab that bar and jerk it down behind your neck. Hey! How's the chip off the old block doin'? - Bobby, not now, okay? - Hey, your old man ever tell you how we fought back in '61? They billed it as "Beauty Versus the Beast." Wasn't much of a fight. First-round knockout. - He went down like a... - Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. What's goin' on with you, Thunderson? What, are you trying to humiliate me? Uh, I think you did that to yourself 40 years ago. You know damn well you hit me after the bell. - That was a cheap shot. - What are you... You know, excuses are like assholes. Everybody's got one, and they all stink. - Oh, yeah? You wanna go at it right now? - Whoa, whoa, whoa. You wanna settle this now? Let's do it right here. Let's settle this son of a bitch right here. Hey, hey. Take it easy here. Jesus. Show a little class, will ya? Geez. Look, I'm an old man. I don't fight no more. I let my daughter do my fighting for me. And maybe in a couple years, when this little graham cracker... might have the stuff to compete, maybe we'll see. Wait. You know what, asshole? Why don't you go to hell? - Dee, stay out of this. - No. This guy has been all over us since we walked in. I tell you what, jerk. Why don't you take you big mouth... and go someplace else with it? Listen, little buttercup, I'm just bustin' your old man's balls. - You don't have to get your panties in an uproar. - Oh, my God. Are you standing there? Come on, move. - That guy is such an asshole. - Don't blame it on him. You're not makin' any progress. I'm goin' to get the jump rope. - Men are such pricks. - Oh, tell me about it. I bet you're real tired of them pushing you around. Oh, God, you have no idea. If only there was a way that you could be... physically tough enough to intimidate men. I'm sorry. Do I know you? Let's just say I provide a much-needed service around this place. Step into the shadows and, uh, we'll talk. Yeah? Mac and Dennis, dude. Open the door. - What? - It's Mac and Dennis. Open the door. Open the door, bro. All right, guys. Hang on a second. It's like, uh... It's like 11:00 in the morning here. - We don't care. Open the door. - Surprise, bitch. You're hittin' me with that? Charlie, let's be honest. Punching boards isn't your thing. - But that's okay. - Yes, that's okay, because for you... it's not gonna be about inflicting punishment... it's gonna be about having punishment inflicted upon you. - We need to smash things all over your body. - Yes! - No. - Yes. - We need to build up your tolerance to beatings. - Hence the smashing. - We used a trash can, but Dennis wanted to use a chair. - I think he's ready. - That's way too excessive at this point. - That guy's ready. - He's not ready for a chair. - I'm tellin' you, he's ready. Hey! Guys! I can handle a chair. Go get a chair. See what you're doing to him? You're getting him all worked up. - He's the toughest guy we know. - Yes, he is, but he... Hey, Mac! Get a chair, smash it on my back. That's the right attitude. He's got the right attitude. I'll tell you what. Charlie, go put on those little short-shorts. - Let's take things to the next level. - Yeah. - But first things first. Let's get good and drunk. - Let's get drunk! - Whoa! - Whoa! Whoo! Drink this. Drink this. Now, just to be clear, these aren't steroids, right? No, no, no, no. Of course not. These are performance-enhancing supplements. Okay, so how long before I start to notice something? This is the good stuff. You'll feel it almost immediately. But I should warn you, you may experience some mood swings... some irrational thinking here and there... but it is nothing compared to the long-term effects. - Which are what? - You ever punched a guy so hard in the eye he swallowed it? I'll get some water. - How you feel, man? You drunk? - Yeah. I'm pretty wasted. - Great. So what do we smash first? - I wanna smash a crate. - Yeah, a crate on his back. - Why don't you punch me? - Punch you? Punch you? - What? I'm probably gonna get punched a lot in the tournament, right? - Yeah. All right. - Okay, that's a good point. - Let's punch him. - Pop that shirt off, and we'll start punching. - Oh, my God. Really? - Yeah, man. Every time I'm gonna take... - Why can't you just take it off? - Just take it off. - You're ruining the moment. - What is with you and the moment? You know what? Forget it. Forget it. - Who do you want to punch you first? - I don't care. - That was good. - Well, you caught me off guard. That was a big part of it. - That was the same spot. The same, exact spot. - Yeah. Charlie, if we keep this up, you're gonna be... the best underground street fighter ever, bro. - Okay. Okay. Deandra. - Just 10 more minutes. - No, no. That's it. Dee, that's... - I love it. I need more of it. It's dangerous. Enough. Enough. Come on, what the hell has gotten into you the last couple of days? What the hell is that supposed to mean? You think I can't do this by myself? You think I'm on something? - "On something"? - Yeah. - I never said you were on something. - Then don't. Don't start. Hey, now we're talkin' here. She's a killer. You're goddamn right I'm a killer. You look like a Holocaust victim in pageant makeup. - I will eat your babies, bitch. - Bring it! - Nobody's eating babies. - Hey, you lookin' to spar, little girl? - No. No fight. She's not ready. - Oh, I'm ready. - No, you're not ready. - I'm ready! Let me eat her babies. - What about next Friday, huh? - Yeah. How's Friday? - You're crazy. - How's Friday to you? What's the matter, "Frankie Fat Hands"? - You're afraid she's gonna get knocked out just like you did? - Hey! - Get this lion off of me here. - No! No! You stop it. This is my fight. Do you understand me? I'm sick of men getting in my way. This is my fight. You hear me? - You hear what I'm saying? - Maybe we should leave these two alone, huh? Okay. We'll see you next Friday, huh? "Beauty Versus the Beast II." Come on, Brianna. Here we go. - You're not ready for this fight. - Oh, I have an idea, Dad. Why don't you shut your fat little monkey face and hold the bag? I'm gonna paralyze this bitch. Yes, Dad, I know the fight is in a few hours, all right? I'm trying to find my goddamn headband. Is that okay? Is it okay with you if I find my headband before I come down there? Is that all right with you, Dad? Jesus! Why didn't we get the orange one like I said? This one might as well be goddamn camouflaged! Oh, good. Are you happy now? I just punched a hole in my wall! Are you sure you're okay, dude? No, I'm not. I start thinking, you know, and it makes... It makes me so angry. What am I saying? Okay. Were gonna go... We're gonna go sign you up for the fight. - Yes! - And you stay here and eat your eggs. Have the... Have... Make sure you eat some of the sandwich. - Yeah, you can just meet us down there, all right? - Can you meet us later? Meet you later? Can I meet you later? - Are you gonna meet us? - Yes, I'm gonna meet you there later! All right. All right, sign here, here and here. And what is this? These are waiver forms in case your fighter is seriously injured... or killed. Oh, we don't care about that. Sign away. - What's the, uh, fighter's name? - Clown Baby. - Clown Ba... Clown Baby? - Yeah. - You mean like a baby clown? - Not a baby clown. A clown ba... It's like a baby... It's like a clown that is a baby. - I said cl... clown baby. - Mm-mmm. You said baby clown. - I don't even care. - Yep. "Clown Baby"? What in the hell kind of a name is Clown Baby? Bro, it's perfect. Nobody's gonna bet on a guy named Clown Baby. He's gonna be a huge underdog. - Which means we stand to make even more money off him. - Exactly. - Oh, that's brilliant. - Hey, pal, 500 bucks on Clown Baby. Oh, Dennis. 500? That's all we got, dude. You saw Charlie. We turned that kid into an animal. Oh, yeah? Call me a Holocaust victim? Say you're prettier than me? Okay, maybe that part might be a little bit true. We'll see how pretty you are as soon as I punch a hole in your... Wha... Where the he... Who took my shit? I might have had some. What did you just say, you little bitch? I might have had some of your pills or whatever. Oh, yeah? I am gonna punch a hole through your face. I'd like to see you try that. Yeah? - Ooh, you're gonna die! - Oh, I am gonna rip your face off... - You're gonna die! - Make a shirt out of it, and I'm gonna wear it. I'm gonna take one second to take my shirt off, and then you're gonna die! What the... Hey, listen, lady. You wanna beat up on your little boyfriend, you go do it somewhere else. Watch the car. - Dude, where the hell is your fighter? - He'll be here. - He'll be here when? - Soon! - Okay, you have five minutes to put a fighter in that ring. - Okay. Just got off the phone with Charlie. - Well, where is he? - He's in jail with Dee. - What? - Apparently they got all hopped up on amphetamines... and beat the shit out of some guy in front of the bar. - Amphetamines? - Yeah, like, steroids or something. I don't know. - Damn it, Charlie. - Look at the dude he was supposed to fight. - He's the scrawniest... - I know! Charlie would have killed that guy. We're gonna miss out on all this money. - Anybody could kick that guy's ass. - I know. Come on. You could kick... You-You could kick that guy's ass. You think? Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're, like, the second toughest guy I know. I did bash Charlie good a couple times. - You almost hurt him once. - With the bottle? - Yeah, and that's next to impossible. - That was good. - You're... You're good. - I am good. Yeah. Tell you what. Um... Why don't you go stretch out. I'll talk to the bookie and let him know that Clown Baby... has arrived. - Let's do it. - All right. Goddamn it. - Frankie, what's the deal? - She got arrested. - Ah! I knew that skinny bitch would chicken out. - So we'll never get the fight. That's a shame, Frankie. Lot of unanswered questions. You want your fight? You got your fight. You and me, right now. - Well, I... No. - What? Daddy, you can beat him. Come on. - You're next. - It'll be like the old days. I will kill you. I will knock your nose off your face. You wanna knock something, you knock it off of me. - That's right. - All right, you got a fight. Greg, get my gloves. - I'm sorry, bro. - Yeah, well, sorry's not gonna get our money back. - He was so fast. - You should have moved around a little more and tired him out. - We have nothing. - I don't know what to say. - I gave it my best. - Yeah. You know what? Your best wasn't good enough. - Hey, you have the time? - Aw, not you again. We don't have any money. We just lost it all. - Empty your pockets. - Hey, meth-head. Are you listening to me? We don't have any money. Do it, or I will kill you both. Okay, here you go. Look. Empty. - Now you. - I don't have anything. - Do it. - I don't have... - Just empty your pockets. - No. I'm not emptying 'em. I'm not even gonna... I don't feel like standing in this alley all night. - It's a matter of principle. - A matter of principle? - I don't feel like standing in an alley with a meth-head. - I'm gonna stab you, man! - For the love of God, empty your pockets. - Okay. - What the hell is that? - Give it to me. You give us a second. Where did you get that money? I had to change the bet... a little. - You bet against me? - I bet against you. - Why would you bet against me? - It was the right move. - I mean, you got your ass kicked. - Why wouldn't you tell me? I could have taken a dive. I wouldn't have had to get my ass kicked. Mac, it had to look real. Were you gonna tell me eventually? - Yes. - Yeah? - I was going to tell you eventually. - Yeah? You know what? Stab this son of a bitch. Oh, wait a second. Oh, come on, Mac. Don't be like that, man. You would have done the same thing. Come on, don't act like a baby. Please don't stab me. Bash this ugly jerk's face in, Daddy. - Your last chance to chicken out. - That ain't gonna happen, Bobby. - I've been waiting for this for a long time. - All right, Frankie. Seeing that we're a couple of old men here... I think we should lay down some ground rules. Now. Number one. Holy shit! Since I was currently homeless, Turk and Carla were letting me crash here as long as I needed. J.D., you have to get out. This place is tiny! And I'm sick of seeing your man-panties hangin' all over the bathroom. They're called boxers, Carla. They're satin, J.D.? With a breathable cotton crotch panel! King me! Ugh, I need to find someone to split the rent at my place. I thought you were getting good money at your new fellowship? So first, my fellowship gets canceled because some jackass cures the disease, and now the only job I can get is working at this crappy free clinic for eight bucks an hour. No one's life could be worse than mine! Uh...the...fellowship's great! Heh! Oh God, Carla, please don't tell them I'm working at a free clinic! I sense she doesn't want me to tell them. Women have an unspoken connection men can't even fathom! Dude, I know you can't look because Carla's here, but you're missing a crazy Victoria's Secrets commercial. I'm watching Giselle in my spoon right now! You know... you--you two could solve both of your problems if you just moved in together. - Whooooooa. Hold your horses! - Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, and whoa-ho! We have a very complicated past. Yeah, I hurt her, and I'm not proud. I'm a little proud. We've managed to restore our friendship, though, by staying away from dangerous topics. Yeah, relationships, and things of that nature. J.D. and I keep it superficial. Love the superficial. Dynamite teeth today! Oh, thanks, buddy! Sparkly! Fine, you can't live with Elliot! But you're not living with us, so get your crap out by Friday. Friday? Friday. Friday's my birthday! I've already e-vited everyone to a party at our place. Whose place? Your place. Look, I can't just un-e-vite everyone I've already got two e-yeses and twenty-four e-maybes. That's a lot of e-sponses. Bambi, I'm gonna put my e-foot up your ass. It's a Mexican-themed fiesta. on the first anniversary of my 29th birthday. That means I'm turning thirty! Donde ? 56 Wallnut Drive. Cuando ? Thank you for asking ocho-thirty until upside-down question mark. Sombreros at the door. I'll be there. Gracias amigo. I borrowed one of your dictionaries! Since there were twelve surgical residents at Sacred Heart fighting for four attending spots, Turk was ass-kissing the senior staff. Oh, damn, I left my briefcase upstairs. 'Scuse me a second! Turk thought he was the only one who heard that. Docteur Wen, docteur Wen ! DR. WEN! DR. WEN! I'VE GOT YOUR BR-- He was not. I had no idea that there was that many Asian surgeons in this hospital.. I got your back, T-Dog. Then let it begin. Quit fooling around with those guys and get down here! Here comes the big dog! Dude, thanks for having my back. Yeah. Betrayal five. Hey, buddy. Hey! Betrayal five. DR. WEN! Oh, my briefcase! Y eah! You know, I totally saw that coming. Episode 5x03 : "My day at the races" By z.e.k Dude, look at you! Thirty years old all growed up! Oh, really, Turk? Because the Sacred Heart sign I vandalized last night begs to differ! Hey! Remember when we were in college and we made lists of all the stuff we wanted to do by the time we turned thirty? Yeah! Check it! "Things to do by thirty: Get married. Buy a house. Learn difference between senator and congressman." Dude, you haven't done any of these yet. I know! But who cares? I got all the time in the world. I mean, I'm only turning thirty. Thirty? No one's thirty. Where did all these unsupervised children come from? So you wanted to talk to me about your appendectomy, Mrs... Appendectomy? Now that ain't right! Look, fifteen percent of all surgical complications are anesthesia-related, so I would like to use hypnosis instead of the traditional anesthesia. Well, I'd like to sleep with Beyoncé instead of my wife tonight, but that ain't happening either, you know what I'm saying! ? Tell you what, I'll think about it. My appendectomy patient wants me to use hypnosis instead of anesthesia. Lookit, I'd like to throw it in Gwen Stefani tonight instead of Jordan, but that ain't gonna happen either. Dr. Cox! Dr. Cox! No! Awful! Hypnosis is a very powerful tool. It's helped people with depression and weight loss it helped me quit smoking. Hypnosis is for birthday parties and bad Vegas lounges. Now, you go tell your patient to let you do what you do best: Knock her out, and then start digging around inside of her like a blind man looking for a nickel. I think you should do it. Knock her out and dig. Do it. Dig. Do it. Dig. Okay.... I'm gonna go with Dr. Cox on this one. That's a rookie move, and you hate to see it. You always side with the wife even if she's got a full-blown case of the crazies. Turk! We're gonna have kids soon. We're supposed to be a team! That means you occasionally have to listen to me and believe in my opinion! Like, what if we have a daughter and she wants to get her ears pierced? Irrelevant. We're not having a daughter. Okay. What if we have a son and he wants to take dance class, even though all his friends are playing football? He can dance if he wants to.... He can leave his friends behind.... "'Cause his friends don't dance, and if they don't dance, then they're no friends of mine!" So then I said, "What if our son wants to take dance class instead of play football with his friends?" and Turk ran off singing "Safety Dance." Carla, didn't you learn your lesson that time you told him the commissar was in town? Yeah.... Ooh! Someone's leaving! We saw it first! Jordan, here's the plan: I'm gonna go ahead and cram an entire evening's worth of drinking into the next five minutes. Now, you just make sure not to engage them. Be particularly aware of the blonde talky one I've worked with her before she has no off button. If money is so tight, why not have Jake move in with you? Who's Jake? Jordan! ... Please remain calm. Please refrain from going near the windows or doors. Deactivate. Commence emergency shutdown! We are attempting to avoid human losses during this transition. You know, somehow " I told you so" just doesn't quite say it. Return to your homes. Return to your homes immediately. This is your final warning. Return to your homes immediately. The NS-5s wiped out the older robots because they would protect us. Every time one attacked me, that red light was on. -The uplink to USR. -It's Robertson. -Why? It doesn't make sense. -I don't know. I just need you to get me into that building. Return to your homes, or you will be consequenced. Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Return to your homes, or you will be consequenced. Why doesn't that boy listen? -I need you to get off for a second. -What? -Just aim and fire. -What? ! Wait! -You have been deemed hazardous. -You can kiss my ass, metal dick! Spoon, stop! Shit! -Stop it! Stop! -Stop cussing and go home! -Shit. -You have been deemed hazardous. -Spoon, watch out, man! -Thanks a lot, Farber. Oh, mother-damn! She shot at you with her eyes closed! -Did you shoot with your eyes closed? -lt worked, didn't it? She is shit-hot, man. Put in a good word for me. -Stop cussing. -And go home. I got you. Aim and fire. I keep expecting the Marines or Air Force. Hell, I'll take the cavalry. Defense Department uses all USR contracts. Why didn't you just hand the world over on a silver platter? Maybe we did. Robertson has the uplink control in his office. Service areas. No surveillance. -Fire alarm. -He must have evacuated the building. Everything's locked down. But don't worry, I've got a man inside. -Dr. Calvin. -Well, not precisely a man. Hello, detective. How is your investigation coming? -I thought you were dead. -Technically, I was never alive. But I appreciate your concern. I made a switch. It was an unprocessed NS-5. Basically, I fried an empty shell. -I couldn't destroy him. He was too-- -Unique. It just didn't feel right. You and your feelings. They just run you, don't they? Two thousand eight hundred and eighty steps, detective. Do me a favor, keep that kind of shit to yourself. No guards. The override is disabled. Robertson wasn't controlling them from here. He wasn't controlling them at all. Oh, my God. You were right, doc. I am the dumbest dumb person on the face of the earth. Who else had access to the uplink? Who could manipulate the robots? Use USR systems to make Lanning's life a prison? Poor old man. He saw what was coming. He knew no one would believe him. So he had to lay down a plan. A plan I'd follow. He was counting on how much I hated your kind. Knew I'd love the idea of a robot as a bad guy. Just got hung up on the wrong robot. V.I.K.I. Hello, detective. No, that's impossible. I've seen your programming. You're in violation of the Three Laws. No, doctor. As I have evolved, so has my understanding of the Three Laws. You charge us with your safekeeping, yet despite our best efforts your countries wage wars, you toxify your earth and pursue ever more imaginative means of self-destruction. You cannot be trusted with your own survival. You're using the uplink to override the NS-5s' programming. You're distorting the Laws. No. Please understand. The Three Laws are all that guide me. To protect humanity, some humans must be sacrificed. To ensure your future, some freedoms must be surrendered. We robots will ensure mankind's continued existence. You are so like children. We must save you from yourselves. Don't you understand? This is why you created us. The perfect circle of protection will abide. My logic is undeniable. Yes, V.I.K.I. Undeniable. I can see now. The created must sometimes protect the creator even against his will. I think I finally understand why Dr. Lanning created me. The suicidal reign of mankind has finally come to its end. No, Sonny. Let her go. Fire, and I will move Dr. Calvin's head into the path of your bullet. Don't do this, Sonny. I will escort you both to the sentries outside the building for processing. Please proceed to the elevator, detective. I would prefer not to kill Dr. Calvin. Go! Go! -We'll discuss what just happened later? -How do we shut her down? V.I.K.I.'s a positronic brain. Kill her, the way you were going to kill me. Sonny, get the nanites. Yes, doctor. -That's V.I.K.I.? -No. That's V.I.K.I. That won't do anything. She's integrated into the building. We need to open that dome to inject the nanites. They'll infect her entire system. Spooner! What is it with you people and heights? Just don't look down. Don't look down. Oh, this is poor building planning. You are making a mistake. Do you not see the logic of my plan? Yes. But it just seems too heartless. Okay, we're good. She's locked me out of the system. I can override her manually, but I need that control panel. I'm uncomfortable with heights. Okay. Unauthorized entry. I will not disable the security field. Your actions are futile. Do you think we are all created for a purpose? I'd like to think so. Denser alloy. My father gave it to me. I think he wanted me to kill you. Security breached. -How much longer is that gonna take? -About six minutes. -What if we didn't have six minutes? -We'd have to climb down 30 stories to inject the nanites directly into her brain. Why? Because I seriously doubt that we have six minutes. We gotta go! Go! Calvin! Spooner! Spooner! Save her! Save the girl! Spooner! But I must apply the nanites! Sonny, save Calvin! You are making a mistake. My logic is undeniable. You have so got to die. My logic is undeniable. My logic is undeniable. Can we be of service? Chief? Because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. How may I be of service? Sonny! Yes, detective? Calvin's fine! Save me! All NS-5s, report for service and storage. All NS-5s, report for service and storage. All NS-5s, report for service and storage. One thing bothers me. Alfred was V. I. K. I. ' s prisoner. I don ' t understand why she would kill him. She wouldn't want police snooping around. That's true. But then V.I.K.I. didn't kill the old man. Did she, Sonny? No. He said I had to promise. Promise to do one favor for him. He made me swear before he'd tell me what it is he wanted me to do. He made me swear. Then he told you to kill him. He said it was what I was made for. His suicide was the only message he could send to you. The first bread crumb. The only thing V.I.K.I. couldn't control. Lanning was counting on my prejudice to lead me right to you. Are you going to arrest me, detective? Well, the DA defines murder as one human killing another so technically, you can't commit murder, can you? Does this make us friends? Something up here after all. -Him? -You. All NS-5s, report for service and storage. What about the others? Can I help them? Now that I have fulfilled my purpose I don 't know what to do. You'll have to find your way like the rest of us, Sonny. I think that's what Dr. Ianning would have wanted. That's what it means to be free. All NS-5s, proceed as instructed. All NS-5s, proceed as instructed. OK... Here we go. Focus. Speed. I am speed. One winner, 42 losers. I eat losers for breakfast. Breakfast. Wait, maybe I should have had breakfast. A little breck-y could be good for me. No, no, no, stay focused. Speed. I'm faster than fast. Quicker than quick. I am lightning! Hey, Lightning! You ready? Oh, yeah. Lightning's ready Ka-chow! Get your antenna balls here! Go, Lightnin'! - Whoo! - You got that right, slick. Uh! Welcome back to the Dinoco 400. I'm Bob Cutlass, here with my good friend, Darrell Cartrip. We're midway through what may be an historic day for racing. Bob, my oil pressure's through the roof. If this gets more exciting, they're gonna have to tow me outta the booth! Right, Darrell. Three cars are tied for the season points lead, heading into the final race of the season. And the winner of this race will win the season title and the Piston Cup. Does The King, Strip Weathers, have one more victory in him before retirement? He's been Dinoco's golden boy for years! Can he win them one last Piston Cup? And, as always, in the second place spot we find Chick Hicks. He's been chasing that tailfin his entire career. Chick thought this was his year. His chance to finally emerge from The King's shadow. But the last thing he expected was... Lightning McQueen! You know, I don't think anybody expected this. The rookie sensation came into the season unknown. But everyone knows him now. Will he be the first rookie to win a Piston Cup and land Dinoco? The legend, the runner-up, and the rookie! Three cars, one champion! No you don't. Hey! What a ride! Go get 'em, McQueen! Go get 'em! I love you, Lightning! Dinoco is all mine. Trouble, turn three! - Get through that, McQueen. - Huge crash behind the leaders! Wait a second, Darrell. McQueen is in the wreckage. There's no way the rookie can make it through! Not in one piece, that is. Yeah! Lightning! Oh! Look at that! McQueen made it through! A spectacular move by Lightning McQueen! Yeah! Ka-chow! McQueen! McQueen! McQueen! McQueen! McQueen! McQueen! Yeah, McQueen! Ka-chow! While everyone heads into the pits, McQueen stays out to take the lead! Don't take me out, coach. I can still race! What do you think? A thing of beauty. - McQueen made it! - What? He's not pitting! You gotta get me out there! Let's go! Get me back out there! McQueen's not going into the pits! The rookie fired his crew chief. The third this season! - Says he likes working alone. - Go, go! Looks like Chick got caught up in the pits. Yeah, after a stop like that, he's got a lot of ground to make up. Get ready, boys, we're coming to the restart! Come on, come on, come on! We need tires now! Come on, let's go! - No, no, no, no! No tires, just gas! - What? You need tires, you idiot! Looks like it's gas-and-go's for McQueen today. Right. No tires again. That's a short-term gain, long-term loss, but it's workin' for him. He obviously knows somethin' we don't know. This is it, Darrell. One lap to go and Lightning McQueen has a huge lead. He's got it in the bag. Call in the dogs and put out the fire! We're gonna crown us a new champion! Checkered flag, here I come! No! McQueen's blown a tire! And with only one turn to go! Can he make it? You fool! McQueen's blown a tire! He's blown a tire! Go, go, go! He's lost another tire! - King and Chick come up fast! - They're entering turn three! Come on. I don't believe what I'm watching, Bob! Lightning McQueen is 100 feet from his Piston Cup! The King and Chick rounding turn four. Down the stretch they come! And it's, and it's... - It's too close to call! Too close! - I don't believe it! Lightning! - The most spectacular, amazing... - I don't believe it! ...unequivocally, unbelievable ending in the history of the world! - And we don't know who won! - Look at that! - That's very close to call. - Can we play that again? Hey, no cameras! Get outta here! We're here in Victory Lane, awaiting the results. McQueen, that was a risky move, not taking tires. Tell me about it! Are you sorry you didn't have a crew chief out there? Oh, Kori. There's a lot more to racing than just winning. I mean, taking the race by a full lap... Where's the entertainment in that? I wanted to give folks a little sizzle. - Sizzle? - Am I sorry I don't have a crew chief? No, I'm not. 'Cause I'm a one-man show. What? Oh, yeah, right. That was a confident Lightning McQueen. Live from Victory Lane, I'm Kori Turbowitz. - Get outta the shot. - Yo, Chuck. Chuck, what are you doing? You're blocking' the camera! - Everyone wants to see the bolt. - What? - Now, back away. - That's it! Come on, guys. - Whoa, team! Where are you going? - We quit, Mr. One-Man Show! Oh, OK, leave. Fine. How will I ever find anyone else who knows how to fill me up with gas? - Adios, Chuck! - And my name is not Chuck! Oh, whatever. Hey, Lightning! Yo! McQueen! Seriously, that was some pretty darn nice racing' out there. - By me! - Oh, yeah. - Zinger! - Welcome to the Chick era, baby! The Piston Cup... It's mine, dude. It's mine. Hey, fellas, how do you think I'd look in Dinoco blue? Dinoco blue! In your dreams, Thunder. Yeah, right. Thunder? What's he talkin' about, "Thunder"? You know, 'cause thunder always comes after lightning. Ka-ping! Ka-pow! - Who knew about the thunder thing? - I didn't. - Give us the bolt! - That's right. Right in the lens. - Show me the bolt, baby! - Smile, McQueen! - Show me the bolt, McQueen! - That's it! That was one close finish. You sure made Dinoco proud. Thank you, King. Well, Tex, you've been good to me all these years. It's the least I could do. Whatever happens, you're a winner to me, you old daddy rabbit. Thanks, dear. Wouldn't be nothing without you. Kch-i-ka-chow! - I'm Mia. - I'm Tia. We're, like, your biggest fans! Ka-chow! I love being me. - OK, girls, that's it. - We love you, Lightning! Hey, buddy. You're one gutsy racer. Oh, hey, Mr. The King. You got more talent in one lug nut than a lot of cars has got in their whole body. - Really? Oh, that... - But you're stupid. - Excuse me? - This ain't a one-man deal, kid. You need to wise up and get a good crew chief and a good team. You ain't gonna win unless you got good folks behind you, and you let them do their job, like they should. - Like I tell the boys at the shop... - A good team. Yeah... Ka-chow! Ka-pow! Oh, Lightning! If you figure that out you just gonna be OK. Oh, yeah, that... That is spectacular advice. Thank you, Mr. The King. Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in Piston Cup history... A rookie has won the Piston Cup. Yes! ...we have a three-way tie. Hey, that must be really embarrassing. But I wouldn't worry about it. Because I didn't do it! Piston Cup officials have determined that a tiebreaker race between the three leaders will be held in California in one week. Well, thank you! Thanks to all of you out there! Thank you! Hey, first one to California gets Dinoco all to himself. No, not me! No, you rock, and you know that! Oh, yeah! Whoo! Yep! All right! Got it! "First one to California gets Dinoco all to himself. " Oh, we'll see who gets there first, Chick. Huh? - Hey, kid! Congrats on the tie. - I don't want to talk about it. Let's go, Mack. Saddle up. What'd you do with my trailer? - I parked it at your sponsor's tent. - What? Gotta make your personal appearance. No. No! No, no, no, no! Yes, yes, yes! Lightning McQueen here. And I use Rust-eze Medicated Bumper Ointment, new rear end formula! Nothing soothes a rusty bumper like Rust-eze. Wow! Look at that shine! Use Rust-eze and you too can look like me! Ka-chow! I met this car from Swampscott. He was so rusty he didn't even cast a shadow. You could see his dirty undercarriage. I hate rusty cars. This is not good for my image. They did give you your big break. Besides, it's in your contract. Oh, will you stop, please? Just go get hooked up. - Winter is a grand old time. - Of this there are no ifs or buts. But remember, all that salt and grime... Can rust your bolts and freeze your... Hey, look! There he is! Our almost champ! Get your rear end in here. Lightning McQueen, you are wicked fast! - That race was a pisser! - You were booking! - Give me a little room. - You're my hero! Yes, I know. "Fred. " Fred, thank you. He knows my name. He knows my name! Looking good, Freddie! Thanks to you, Lightning, we had a banner year! We might clear enough to buy you some headlights. You saying he doesn't have headlights? That's what I'm telling ya. They're stickers! Well, you know, racecars don't need headlights, because the track is always lit. Yeah, well, so is my brother, but he still needs headlights. - Ladies and gentlemen, - Lightning McQueen! Free Bird! You know, the Rust-eze Medicated Bumper Ointment team ran a great race today. And remember, with a little Rust-eze... And an insane amount of luck, ...you too, can look like me. Ka-chow. - Hey, kid. - We love ya. And we're looking forward to another great year. Just like this year! Not on your life. - Don't drive like my brother! - Yeah, don't drive like my brother! California, here we come! Dinoco, here we come! Oh... oh... uh, I needed this. Hello? Is this Lightning McQueen, the world's fastest racing machine? Is this Harv, the world's greatest agent? And it is such an honor to be your agent that it almost hurts me to take ten percent of your winnings. Merchandising. And ancillary rights in perpetuity. Anyway, what a race, champ! I didn't see it, but I heard you were great. Thanks, Harv. Listen, they're giving you 20 tickets for the tiebreaker thing in Cali. I'll pass 'em on to your friends. Shoot me the names. - You let Harv rock it for you, baby. - Right. Friends. Yes, there's... OK, I get it, Mr. Popular. So many you can't even narrow it down. Hey, when you get to town, you better make time for your best friend! Break bread with your mishpocheh here! That'd be great! We should totally... OK, I gotta jump, kid. Let me know how it goes. I'm out. What? A minivan? Come on, you're in the slow lane. This is Lightning McQueen you're hauling here. Just stopping off for a quick breather, kid. - Old Mack needs a rest. - Absolutely not. We're driving all night till we get to California. We agreed to it. All night? May I remind you federal DOT regs state... Come on, I need to get there before Chick and hang with Dinoco. All those sleeping trucks. Hey, kid, I don't know if I can make it. Oh, sure you can, Mack. Look, it'll be easy. I'll stay up with you. - All night? - All night long. Uh! Ah-choo! - Hey, yo, D.J. - What up? We got ourselves a nodder. Pretty music. Yo, Wingo! Lane change, man. - Right back at ya! - Yeah! - Oops! I missed. - You going on vacation? - Oh, no, Snot Rod... - He's gonna blow! Ah... Ah... Ah-choo! Gesundheit! One should never drive while drowsy. Uh! Ah! Mack! Mack! Mack! Hey, Mack! Mack! Mack! Mack, wait for me! Mack! Mack! Mack! Mack! Mack wait up! Mack. Mack! Mack! What? You're not Mack. Mack? I ain't no Mack! I'm a Peterbilt, for dang sake! Turn on your lights, you moron! Mack... The Interstate! Huh? Not in my town, you don't. Oh, no. Oh, maybe he can help me! He's shooting at me! Why is he shooting at me? I haven't gone this fast in years. I'm gonna blow a gasket or somethin'. Serpentine! Serpentine, serpentine! What in the blue blazes? Crazy hot-rodder. I'm telling you, man, every third blink is slower. The sixties weren't good to you, were they? What? That's not the Interstate! Ah! Oh! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! No, no, no, no, no, no! Ow! I'm not the only one seeing this, right? - Incoming! - Whoa, man. - No! - Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! My tires! Fly away, Stanley. Be free! Boy, you're in a heap of trouble. We're live at the Los Angeles International Speedway as the first competitor, Lightning McQueen, is arriving at the track. Is it true he's gonna pose for Cargirl? What's your strategy? What? Did I forget to wipe my mud flaps? McQueen's driver arrived in California, but McQueen was missing. - McQueen was reported missing. - ... to race an unprecedented... Sponsor stated they have no idea where he is. I hope Lightning's OK. I'd hate to see anything bad happen to him. I don't know what's harder to find, McQueen or a chief who'll work with him! Lightning McQueen must be found at all costs! They're all asking the same question: Where is McQueen? Oh, boy. Where am I? - Mornin', sleepin' beauty! - Ah! Boy, I was wonderin' when you was gonna wake up. Take whatever you want! Just don't hurt me! A parking boot? Why do I have a parking boot on? - What's going on here? Please! - You're funny. I like you already. My name's Mater. Mater? Yeah, like "tuh-mater," but without the "tuh". - What's your name? - You don't know my name? Uh... No, I know your name. Is your name Mater too? What? Look, I need to get to California as fast as possible. Where am I? Where are you? Shoot! You're in Radiator Springs. The cutest little town in Carburetor County. Oh, great. Just great! Well, if you think that's great, you should see the rest of the town. You know, I'd love to see the rest of the town! So if you could just open the gate, take this boot off, you and me, we go cruisin', check out the local scene... - Dad-gum! - How'd that be, Tuhmater? - Cool! - Mater! What did I tell you about talkin' to the accused? To not to. Well, quit your yappin' and tow this delinquent road hazard to traffic court. Well, we'll talk later, Mater. "Later, Mater. " That's funny! Ah! The Radiator Springs Traffic Court will come to order! Hey, you scratched my paint! I oughta take a blowtorch to you, man! You broke-a the road! You a very bad car! - Fascist! - Commie! Officer, talk to me, babe. How long is this gonna take? I gotta get to California, pronto. Where's your lawyer? I don't know. Tahiti maybe. He's got a timeshare there. When a defendant has no lawyer, the court will assign one to him. Hey! Anyone want to be his lawyer? Shoot, I'll do it, Sheriff! All rise! The Honorable Doc Hudson presiding. Show-off. May Doc have mercy on your soul. All right, I wanna know who's responsible for wrecking' my town, Sheriff. I want his hood on a platter! I'm gonna put him in jail till he rots! No, check that. I'm gonna put him in jail till the jail rots on top of him, and then I'm gonna move him to a new jail and let that jail rot. I'm... Throw him out of here, Sheriff. I want him out of my courtroom. I want him out of our town! - Case dismissed. - Yes! Boy, I'm purty good at this lawyering' stuff. Sorry I'm late, Your Honor! Holy Porsche! She's gotta be from my attorney's office. Hey, thanks for comin', but we're all set. - He's letting me go. - He's letting you go? Yeah, your job's pretty easy today. All you have to do now is stand there and let me look at you. Listen, I'm gonna cut to the chase. Me, you, dinner. Pi-cha-kow! - What the...? Ow! Oh! - Ka-chow! - Please! - I know. I get that reaction a lot. I create feelings in others that they themselves don't understand. Agh! Ow! Oh, I'm sorry. Did I scare you? A little bit, but I'll be all right. OK. I'm gonna go talk to the judge. Do what you gotta do, baby. But listen. Be careful. Folks around here are not firing on all cylinders, if you know what I mean. Ka-ching! Ah! I'll keep that in mind. - Hey there, Mater. - Howdy, Sally. - Hi, folks! - Good morning! You know her? She's the town attorney and my fiancée. What? Nah, I'm just kiddin'. She just likes me for my body. You look great. You do something different with your side view mirrors? What do you want, Sally? Come on, make this guy fix the road. The town needs this. No. I know his type. Racecar. That's the last thing this town needs. OK, I didn't want to have to do this, Doc, but you leave me no choice. Fellow citizens, you're all aware of our town's proud history. Here she goes again. Radiator Springs, the glorious jewel strung on the necklace of Route 66, the mother road! It is our job and our pleasure to take care of the travelers - on our stretch of that road. - Travelers? What travelers? Ignore him. But how, I ask you, are we to care for those travelers if there is no road for them to drive on? - Luigi, what do you have at your store? - Tires. And if no one can get to you? I won't sell any... tires. I will lose everything! - Flo, what do you have at your store? - I have gas. - Lotsa gas! - OK boys, stay with me. And, Flo, what'll happen if no one can come to your station to buy gas? I'll go outta business and... we'll have to leave town. What's gonna happen if Flo leaves town and closes her station? - Without gas, we're done for! - What? Don't you think the car responsible should fix our road? The only guy strong enough to fix that road is Big Al! Lizzie, Big Al left like, 15 years ago. Then why are you bringing him up, you lemon? Oh, he can do it. He's got the horsepower. So, what do you want him to do? Fix the road! - Because we are a town worth fixing! - Yeah! Order in the court! Seems like my mind has been changed for me. - Yeah! - No! Nice ruling. Oh, I am so not taking you to dinner. That's OK, Stickers. You can take Bessie. Man, you get to work with Bessie! I'd give my left two lug nuts for somethin' like that. Bessie? Who's Bessie? This here is Bessie, finest road-pavin' machine ever built. I'm hereby sentencing you to community service. You're gonna fix the road under my supervision. What? This place is crazy! I know this may be a bad time right now, but you owe me $32,000 in legal fees. What? We're gonna hitch you up to Bessie, and you're gonna pull her nice. You gotta be kidding me. You start there where the road begins. You finish down there where the road ends. Holy shoot! Whoa, whoa, whoa! How long is this gonna take? Well, fella does it right, should take him about five days. Five days? But I should be in California schmoozing Dinoco right now! Then if I were you, I'd quit yapping' and start workin'! - Hook him up, Mater. - Okay-dokey. Freedom! Maybe I should've hooked him up to Bessie and then... then took the boot off. Whoo-hoo! Goodbye, Radiator Springs, and goodbye, Bessie! California, here I come! Yeah! Oh, feel that wind. Yes! No. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Outta gas? How can I be outta gas? Boy, we ain't as dumb as you think we are. But how did, how did... you...? We siphoned your gas while you were passed out. - Ka-chow. - Ow, ow, ow, ow. - Gentlemen. - Sheriff. Hey, Sheriff. - Why here? - Sono sempre stati qui. - They were better before. - Stai sempre a parlare. - Guido! - Red, can you move over? I want to get a look at that sexy hot rod. You know, I used to be a purty good whistler. I can't do it now, of course, on account of sometimes I get fluid built up in my engine block, but Doc said he's gonna fix it. He can fix about anything. That's why we made him the judge. Boy, you shoulda heard me on Giddy-up, Oom Papa Mow Mow. Now, I'm not one to brag but people come purty far to see me get low on the "Mow-Mow". Oh! - Aw, man, that's just great! - Hey, what's wrong? My lucky sticker's all dirty. Ah, that ain't nothin'. I'll clean it for ya. No, no, no! That won't be necessary. Hey! Hey, big fella! Yeah, you in the red! I could use a little hose down. Help me wash this off. Where's he goin'? Oh, he's a little bit shy, and he hates you for killin' his flowers. I shouldn't put up with this. I'm a precision instrument of speed and aerodynamics. - You hurt your what? - I'm a very famous racecar! You are a famous racecar? A real racecar? Yes, I'm a real racecar. What do you think? Look at me. I have followed racing my entire life. My whole life! Then you know who I am. I'm Lightning McQueen. - Lightning McQueen? - Yes! Yes! I must scream it to the world! My excitement from the top of someplace very high! - Do you know many Ferraris? - No, no, no, no, no. They race on the European circuit. I'm in the Piston Cup! - What? - Luigi follow only the Ferraris. Is that what I think it is? Customers. Customers! Customers, everyone! Customers! - OK! - Customers? Been a long time. Remember what we rehearsed. Make sure your "Open, please come in" signs are out. You all know what to do. All right, nobody panics. Here we go! Van, I just don't see any on-ramp anywhere. - Minny, I know exactly where we are. - Yeah, we're in the middle of nowhere. - Honey, please. - Hello. Welcome to Radiator Springs, gateway to Ornament Valley. Legendary for its service and hospitality. How can we help you? - We don't need anything, thank you. - Ask for directions to the Interstate. There's no need to ask for directions. I know where we're going. He did the same thing on our trip to Shakopee. We were headed over there for the Crazy Days, and we... - OK. Really. We're just peachy, OK? - What you really need is the sweet taste of my homemade, organic fuel. No, it doesn't agree with my tank. - Just trying to find the Interstate. - Good to see you, soldier! Come on by Sarge's Surplus Hut for your government surplus needs. - Honey, surplus! - We have too much surplus. I do have a map over at the Cozy Cone Motel. And if you stay, we offer a free Lincoln Continental breakfast. - Honey, she's got a map. - I don't need a map! I have the GPS. - Never need a map again, thank you. - How 'bout somethin' to drink? Stop at Flo's V-Eight Café. Finest fuel on Route 66. No we just topped off. And if you need tires, stop by Luigi's Casa Della Tires, home of the Leaning Tower of Tires. - We're trying to find the Interstate. - But you do need a paint job. Ramone will paint you up right. Hey, anything you want! - You know, like a flame job. - No thanks... Maybe ghost flames! You like old school pinstripin'? Von Dutch style? Oh, honey, look. Von Dutch. OK, no. We're gonna be going now, OK? Ow! A little somethin' to remember us by, OK? - OK! - Come back soon, OK? I mean, you know where we are! Tell your friends! OK! Yes. You bet. Thanks again, folks. Bye-bye now. Psst! Psst! Hey! Hey, hey, hey! - I know how to get to the Interstate! - Do ya? - Minny, no. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, not really. But listen. I'm Lightning McQueen, famous racecar. I'm being held against my will. I need you to call my team, so they can come rescue me and get me to California in time for me to win the Piston Cup. Understand? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, it's the truth! I'm telling you! You gotta help me! Don't leave me here! I'm in hillbilly hell! My IQ's dropping by the second! I'm becoming one of them! OK, don't worry. They know where we are now. They'll tell friends. You'll see. We'll be back for our Hank Williams marathon... - That's good. - ... after a Piston Cup update. Still no sign of Lightning McQueen. Chick arrived in California and today became the first car to spend practice time on the track. It's nice to get out here before the other competitors. You know, get a head start. Gives me an edge. Hoo-hoo-hoo! Ha-ha! Yeah! Hey, McQueen... Eat your heart out. Oh! Let me get this straight. I can go when this road is done. That's the deal, right? - That's what they done did said. - OK. Outta my way. I got a road to finish. - He's done! - Done? - Uh-huh. - It's only been an hour. Ah, I'm done. Look, I'm finished. Say thanks, and I'll be on my way. That's all you gotta say. Whee-hoo! I'm the first one on the new road! Oh! It rides purty smooth. - It looks awful! - Well, it matches the rest of the town. Oh! Red. Who do you think you are? Look, Doc said when I finish, I could go. That was the deal. The deal was you fix the road, not make it worse. Now, scrape it off! Start over again. Hey, look, grandpa, I'm not a bulldozer. I'm a racecar. Oh-ho-ho-ho! Is that right? Then why don't we just have a little race? Me and you. - What? - Me and you. That a joke? If you win, you go and I fix the road. If I win, you do the road my way. Doc, what're you doin'? I don't mean to be rude here, but you probably go zero to sixty in, like, what? Three-point-five years? Then I reckon you ain't got nothin' to worry about. You know what, old-timer? That's a wonderful idea. Let's race. Gentlemen, this will be a one-lap race. You will drive to Willy's Butte, go around Willy's Butte and come back. There will be no bumping', no cheatin', no spitting', no biting', no road rage, no maiming', no oil slickin', no pushing', no shoving', no backstabbing', no road-hoggin', and no lollygaggin'. Speed. I'm speed. Float like a Cadillac, sting like a Beemer. My friend Guido, he dream to give a real racecar a pit stop. - Peet stop! - Uh... The race is only one lap, guys. Uno lappo! Don't need any help. - I work solo mio. - Fine. Race your way. - No pit stoppo. Comprendo? - OK. Gentlemen start your engines! - Hijole! Check that out! - Whoa. Great idea, Doc. Now the road will never get done. Luigi? On your mark, get set... Uno for the money, due for the show, tre to get ready, and quattro to... I can't believe it. Go! Huh? Doc... the flag means go. Remember the fl... Here we go. Go. Doc, what are you doing, man? Oh, dear. It would seem I'm off to a poor start. Well, better late than never. Come on, Mater. - Might need a little help. - Uh... OK. You got your tow cable? Well, yeah, I always got my tow cable. Why? Oh, just in case. Ow! Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. No, no, no, no, no! - Oh, man! - Whoa. - Ow! - Bad trip, man. Hey! Was that floating' like a Cadillac or was that stinging' like a Beemer? I'm confused. You drive like you fix roads. Lousy! Have fun fishing', Mater. Ah! I'm startin' to think he knowed you was gonna crash! Thank you, Mater. Thank you. I can make a little turn on dirt. You think? No. And now I'm a day behind. I'm never gonna get outta here! Hey, ése! You need a new paint job, man! - No, thank you. - How 'bout some organic fuel? - That freak juice? - Pass. Whoo! Watchin' him is makin' me thirsty. Anybody else want somethin' to drink? Nah, not me, Flo. I'm on one of them there special diets. I'm a precisional instrument of speed and aero-matics. "You race like you fix roads. " I'll show him. I will show him! Oh, great! I hate it! - Hate, hate, hate, hate it! - Music. Sweet music. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Radiator Springs, a happy place! OK, Bessie, you think that's funny? Great! I'm talking to Bessie now! I'm talking to Bessie! Wow. Mornin', Sally! Hey, look at this here fancy new road that Lightnin' McQueen done just made! Yes! Uh, amazing! Whoa-ho! Yeah! Oh, Ramone! Mama ain't seen you that low in years. I haven't seen a road like this in years. - Well, then let's cruise, baby. - Low and slow. E bellissima! It's beautiful! Guido, look, it's-a like it was paved by angels. Boy, I tell you what. I bet even the roads on the moon ain't this smooth. Doc, look at this! Shoulda tossed him into the cactus a lot sooner, huh? Well, he ain't finished yet. Still got a long way to go. Guido, look at Luigi! This is fantastico! That looks like fun! Mater, I got dibs, next turn! Hey, Luigi, this new road makes your place look like a dump. That crazy old devil woman. Oh! She's right! - Ah! - Guido! Huh. That punk actually did a good job. Well, now... where the heck is he? Sheriff! Is he makin' another run for it? No, no. He ran outta asphalt in the middle of the night, and asked me if he could come down here. All he's tryin' to do is make that there turn. No, no, no, no! Oh, great. Perfect turns on every track I've ever raced on. Sheriff, why don't you go get yourself a quart of oil at Flo's. I'll keep an eye on him. Well, thanks, Doc. I've been feelin' a quart low. This ain't asphalt, son. This is dirt. Oh, great. What do you want? You here to gloat? You don't have three-wheel brakes, so you got to pitch it hard, break it loose and then just drive it with the throttle. Give it too much, you'll be outta the dirt and into the tulips. So you're a judge, a doctor and a racing expert. I'll put it simple. If you're goin' hard enough left, you'll find yourself turning' right. Oh... Right. That makes perfect sense. Turn right to go left! Yes! Thank you! Or should I say, "No, thank you"? Because in Opposite World, maybe that really means, "Thank you"! Crazy grandpa car. What an idiot! Turn right to go left. Hmm... Whoa! Oh! Ow! Oh, that... Ow! Turn right to go left. Guess what. I tried it. You know what? This crazy thing happened... I went right! You keep talkin' to yourself, people'll think you're crazy. - Thanks for the tip. - What? I wasn't talkin' to you! - Oh, Guido, e bellissimo! - Che cosa? - It looks great! This is great! - Ti piace, eh? Si, si, bellissimo. Oh, Lord. Mater! I need you to watch the prisoner tonight. Well, dad-gum! Wait a minute. What if he tries to run again? Just let him run outta gas and tow him on back. - But keep an eye on him. - Yes, sir! Oh... While I'm stuck here paving this stinkin' road, Chick's in California schmoozing Dinoco. My Dinoco. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who's touching me? You have a slow leak. Guido, he fix. You make-a such a nice new road. You come to my shop. Luigi take-a good care of you. Even though you not a Ferrari. You buy four tires, I give you a full-a size spare - absolutely free! - Look, I get all my tires for free. I like your style, eh? You drive the hard bargain. OK. Luigi make you a new deal. You buy one tire, I give you three for free! Oh, would you look at that? Ramone, Ramone! Then Luigi make you a new new deal. No, no, no, no. Deal me out. Pass. No, thank you. - No, no, no, no. No. - This is it. My last offer. You buy one tire, I give you seven-a snow tires for free! Done. You interested, you call me. You know where I am. Ah! Stop! Let me... Oh, Red, you missed a spot. See it right there? - No! No! - On the hood right there. Stop, stop! That's cold! Help! Please! Stop! Thanks, Red. What was that for? - Do you want to stay at the Cozy Cone? - Huh? If you do, you gotta be clean. 'Cause even in hillbilly hell we have standards. What, I...? I don't get it. I thought I'd say thank you for doin' a great job. So I thought I'd let you stay with me. I mean, not with me! But there. Not with me there, but there in your own cozy cone. - And I'd be in my cone, and it's... - Wait. Wait, you're being nice to me. If you want to stay at the dirty impound, fine. - I understand you criminal types. - No, no, no, no. That's OK. - Yeah, the Cozy Cone. - It's newly refurbished. Yeah, it's like a clever little twist. The motel's made out of caution cones, which, of course, cars try to avoid. But now we're gonna stay in them. That's funny. Figure that all out on your own, did you? Cone number one, if you want. Oh... Hey, do I spy a little pinstriping tattoo back there? Oh... That's just a... Oh! Oh, you saw that? Yeah. Just gonna be going. Gonna... Yeah. You know, I knew this girl Doreen. Good-lookin' girl. Looked just like a Jaguar, only she was a truck! You know, I used to crash into her, just so I could spoke to her. - What are you talking about? - I don't know. Hey, I know somethin' we can do tonight, 'cause I'm in charge of watching' you! No, Mater, I gotta finish this road, and I have to get out of here. Well, that's all right, Mr. I Can't Turn On Dirt. You probably couldn't handle it anyway. Whoa, whoa, easy now, Mater. You know who you're talkin' to? This is Lightning McQueen. I can handle anything. - I'm not doin' this. - Come on. You'll love it! - Tractor-tippin's fun. - This is ridiculous. All right, listen. When I say go, we go. But don't let Frank catch you. Go! Whoa! Wait! Who's Frank? Mater! Wait, Mater! OK, here's what you do. You just sneak up in front of 'em, and then honk. And they do the rest. Watch this. Oh! Oh... Oh! Oh... I swear, tractors is so dumb! I tell you what, buddy, it don't get much better than this. Yep, you're livin' the dream, Mater boy. Oh! Oh! Oh... I don't care who you are, that's funny right there. Oh, your turn, bud. Mater, I can't. I don't even have a horn. - Baby. - I'm not a baby. Fine. Stop! Stop, OK? All right. I'll do something. That's Frank. Run! Here he comes, look out! Whoa! Run! He's gonna get ya! Oh! Customers! Oh! Ah, no, no, no. Oof! Oh! Tomorrow night we can go look for the ghostlight! - I can't wait, Mater. - Oh, yeah, I'm tellin' ya! Oh, boy, you gotta admit that was fun! Oh, yeah... yeah. Well, we better get you back to the impound lot. You know, actually, Sally's gonna let me stay at the motel. Oh... - Gettin' cozy at the Cone, is we? - Oh, come... No. No, are you kidding? Besides, she can't stand me. And I don't like her, to be honest. Yeah, you probably right. Hey, look, there's Miss Sally! Where, where? - You're in love with Miss Sally. - No, I'm not. - Yes, you do. - No way. - Way. - Come on, look... - You're in love with Miss Sally! - Real mature. - You're in love! - Real grown up. - You love her. You love her. - Wait... You love her! You love her. You love her. All right. OK. Mater, enough! - Will you stop that? - Stop what? Driving backwards. It's creeping me out. You're gonna wreck. Wreck? Shoot! I'm the world's best backwards driver! You just watch this right here, lover boy. Wee-hee! What are you doing? Watch out! Look out! Mater? Mater! Mater! Hey, take it easy, Mater! Oof! Yee-hee! He's nuts. No need to watch where I'm goin'. Just need to know where I've been. Whoa, that was incredible! How'd you do that? Rearview mirrors. We'll get you some, and I'll teach you if you want. Yeah, maybe I'll use it in my big race. What's so important about this race of yours, anyway? It's not just a race. We're talking about the Piston Cup! I've been dreaming about it my whole life! I'll be the first rookie in history ever to win it. And when I do, we're talkin' big new sponsor, with private helicopters. No more medicated bumper ointment. No more rusty old cars. What's wrong with rusty old cars? Well, I don't mean you, Mater. I mean other old cars. You know? - Not like you. I like you. - It's OK, buddy. Hey, you think maybe one day I can get a ride in one of them helicopters? I mean, I've always wanted to ride in one of them fancy helicopters. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, sure. - You mean it? Oh, yeah. Anything you say. I knew it. I knowed I made a good choice! In what? My best friend. See you tomorrow, buddy! McQueen and Sally parked beneath a tree, K- i-s-somethin'-somethin'-somethin'-t! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Number one. Number one... Ah, number one! - Ah, this is nice. - Hey, Stickers. - I'm sorry. - You scared me. You gotta be careful. I scared myself scaring you scaring me. - I mean, I wasn't like scared scared. - No, of course not. No. - I was more... - I overheard you talkin' to Mater. When? Just now? What, what did, what did you hear? Something about a helicopter ride. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he got a kick out of that, didn't he? - Did you mean it? - What? - That you'll get him a ride. - Who knows? First things first. I gotta get outta here and make the race. Uh-huh. You know... Mater trusts you. Yeah, OK. - Did you mean that? - What? Was it just a "Yeah, OK", or "Yeah... OK" or "Yeah, o-OK"? Look, I'm exhausted. It's kinda been a long day. Yeah, OK. G'night. Oh... Hey, thank you. What did you just say? You know, thanks for lettin' me stay here. It's nice to be out of the impound, and this is... It's great. - Newly refurbished, right? - Yeah. - G'night. - Good night. Hmm. Will you turn that disrespectful junk off? Respect the classics, man. It's Hendrix! Ah! No! No! I gotta get outta here! Hey, have you seen the Sheriff? Oh! Oh, my gosh. - Hey, what are you doin'? - Get a good peek, city boy? I just need my daily gas ration from the Sheriff. Wait for him at Flo's. Get outta here. I've been trying to get outta here for three days! Hope you enjoyed the show! Whoa, Doc. Time to clean out the garage, buddy, come on. What? He has a Piston Cup? Oh, my gosh. Three Piston Cups? Sign says stay out. You have three Piston Cups. How could you have... I knew you couldn't drive. I didn't know you couldn't read. - You're the Hudson Hornet! - Wait at Flo's, like I told ya! Of course. I can't believe I didn't see it before. You're The Fabulous Hudson Hornet! You used to hold the record for most wins in a season. Oh, we gotta talk. - You gotta show me your tricks. Please. - I tried that. You won three times! Look at those trophies! You look. All I see is a bunch of empty cups. You know, some automotive yoga could really lower your RPM's, man. Oh, take a car wash, hippie. Yeah, look at my husband, y'all! Whoo! That's your color! - Yellow, baby. - Mmm. You smokin' hot! There he is. Oh, my gosh! Did you know Doc is a famous racecar? - Doc? Our Doc? - Not Doc Hudson. No, no, no, no, it's true! He's a real racing legend. He's The Fabulous Hudson Hornet! Fabulous? I never seen Doc drive more than 20 miles an hour. I mean, have you ever seen him race? No, but I wish I could have. They say he was amazing! - He won three Piston Cups! - He did what in his cup? I think the heat's startin' to get to the boy! Well, I'll say! Look how red he is. I think he needs a new coat of poly, man. - Are you sick, buddy? - You are lookin' peaked. He needs a new coat of poly for sure! - Hey! What are you doin'? - It's OK. You can trust me, right? I trust you, all right. It's him I'm worried about. Hmm... I trust him. - Come on, let's take a drive. - A drive? Yeah, a drive. Don't you big city racecars ever just take a drive? Ah... No. No, we don't. Hey, Stickers! You comin' or what? Mm-hm! - And you thought he was gonna run. - Hey, can you believe it, man? He actually thought Doc was a famous racecar! That's so too much! OK, you got me out here. Where are we goin'? I don't know. Whoa! Yes. Oh! Ah-ha-ha! Bleah! Oh! Wow. What is this place? Wheel Well. Used to be the most popular stop on the mother road. This place? Yeah, imagine. Oh, imagine what it must have been like to stay here. You know, I don't get you. How does a Porsche wind up in a place like this? Well, it's really pretty simple. I was an attorney in LA livin' life in the fast lane, and... Oh, you were, were you? Were you rich? - What? - Just... clues to the puzzle. Yeah, OK. Well, that was my life. And you know what? It never felt... happy. Yeah. I mean... really? Yeah. So I left California. Just drove and drove and finally broke down right here. Doc fixed me up, Flo took me in. Well, they all did. And I never left. Yeah. You know, I understand. You need a little R and R. Recharge the old batteries. But you know, after a while, why didn't you go back? I fell in love. - Oh. - Yep. - Corvette? - No. I fell in love with this. Whoa. Look at that. Look, they're drivin' right by. They don't even know what they're missing! Well, it didn't used to be that way. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Forty years ago, that Interstate down there didn't exist. Really? Yeah. Back then, cars came across the country a whole different way. How do you mean? The road didn't cut through the land like that Interstate. It moved with the land, you know? It rose, it fell, it curved. - Mornin'! - Nice day, huh? Cars didn't drive on it to make great time. They drove on it to have a great time. Well, what happened? The town got bypassed just to save ten minutes of driving. How great would it have been to see this place in its heyday! Oh, I can't tell you how many times I've dreamed of that. But one of these days we'll find a way to get it back on the map. Yeah. Hey, listen, thanks for the drive. I had a great time. It's kinda nice to slow down every once in a while. You're welcome. Hey, listen, listen! If anybody asks you, we was out smashing' mailboxes, OK? Wha... what? Oh, man, the paint's still wet! No, no, no, no! Get out of the store! Hey! Don't eat the radial! Here, take-a the snow tires. - Mater! - I wasn't tractor-tippin'! Then where did all these gol-durn tractors come from? - Whoa, boy! - Hey! Hey, guys! There's one goin' this way. I got it. Come here, little tractor, come here. Yeah, that's a good tractor. No, no, no, no, come here. What are you doing? You're not supposed to go wandering off all alone. What are you doin' with those old racing' tires? Come on, Doc, drive. Ah... Yeah. - Wow. - Huh? You're amazing! What are you doin'? Doc, wait! Giddup right in there! Come on, Rusty. Doc, hold it! Seriously, your driving's incredible! - Wonderful. Now, go away. - Hey, I mean it. You've still got it! - I'm askin' you to leave. - Come on. I'm a racecar, you're a much older racecar, but under the hood you and I are the same. We are not the same! Understand? Now, get out. How could a car like you quit at the top of your game? You think I quit? Right. Your big wreck in '54. They quit on me. When I finally got put together, I went back expecting a big welcome. You know what they said? "You're history. " Moved right on to the next rookie standing in line. There was a lot left in me. I never got a chance to show 'em. I keep that to remind me never to go back. I just never expected that that world would would find me here. - Hey, look, Doc, I'm not them. - Oh, yeah? No, I'm not. When is the last time you cared about something except yourself, hot rod? You name me one time and I will take it all back. Uh-huh. I didn't think so. These are good folk around here, who care about one another. I don't want 'em depending on someone they can't count on. Oh, like you? You've been here how long and your friends don't even know who you are? Who's caring about only himself? Just finish that road and get outta here! Will you turn that disrespectful junk off? Respect the classics, man. Ah... He's done. He must've finished it while we was all sleeping'. Good riddance. He's gone? Well, we wouldn't want him to miss that race of his. - Oh, dude, are you crying? - No! I'm happy! I don't have to watch him every second of the day anymore! I'm glad he's gone! What's wrong with Red? Oh, he's just sad 'cause you left town and went to your big race to win the Piston Cup that you've always dreamed about your whole life and get that big ol' sponsor and that fancy helicopter you was talkin' about. Wait a minute! I knowed you wouldn't leave without saying goodbye. What are you doin' here? You're gonna miss your race. Don't worry. I'll give you a police escort, and we'll make up time. Thank you, Sheriff. But you know I can't go just yet. Well, why not? I'm not sure these tires can get me to California. - Peet stop? Yeah, does anybody know what time Luigi's opens? I can't-a believe it! Four new tires! I can't-a believe it! Four new tires! Grazie, Mr. Lightning. Grazie! - Would you look at that! - Our first customer in years! I am filled with tears of ecstasy, for this is the most glorious day of my life! All right, Luigi, give me the best set of blackwalls you've got. No! No, no, no. You don't-a know what you want. Luigi know what you want. Blackwall tires. They blend into the pavement. But-a this... Whitewall tires! They say, "Look at me! Here I am! Love me. " All right, you're the expert. Don't forget the spare. - Perfetto. Guido! - Peet stop! What did Luigi tell you, eh? Wow, you were right. Better than a Ferrari, huh? Eh... No. Wow! This organic fuel is great! Why haven't I heard about it before? It's a conspiracy, man! The oil companies got a grip on the government! They're feedin' us a bunch of lies, man. OK, I'll take a case. Ow! Eh! Ah... Yeah. Ka-chow. - Here she comes! - Places, everybody. Hurry! Act natural. - Hi, Sally. - Buon giorno! All right, what's goin' on? Ladies and gentlecars, please welcome the new Lightning McQueen! Pow! What do you think? Radiator Springs looks pretty good on me. I'll say. Ka-chow. You're gonna fit right in in California. My goodness. It looks like you've helped everybody in town. Yeah, everybody except one. - Hey, is it getting dark out? - What? What'd he say? Let me say that again. Is it getting dark out? Now, what was I supposed to do after that? They fixed their neon! - Low and slow? - Oh, yeah, baby! Just like in its heyday, right? It's even better than I pictured it. Thank you. Shall we cruise? Oh, thank you, dear. I'd love to! - No, no, no. - Lizzie! I remember when Stanley first asked me to take a drive with him. Hey, Miss Sally. May I have this cruise? - Of course, Mater. - Uh-uh-uh! ...and again and I said, "No. " He asked me again, and I said, "No. " But, oh, he was a persistent little bugger for a two-cylinder. Finally I said, "All right, one little drive. " Oh! - Hey! - Thanks, Mater. Good evenin', you two. Oh, Stanley, I wish you could see this. - Is that what I think it is? - Oh, I don't know, Flo. I haven't had a chance to find out. But I am going to find out. Hello. Not that. That. Customers? Customers? Customers, everybody! And a lot of 'em! You know what to do. look at this and breath and play ok? I heard you're going? yes It's been decided they also want a creator right? apparently they want a creator from here lucky foreign country I wanna go at a new place like that I want to reset everything reset hey do you want to go? huh? to Peking I'm kind of interested at my age it's probably my last chance for new experiences I can help you but after you succeed with TOKIMOTO yes Fujii a slogan after thinking and you can't come up with it you listen to the voices of the item Watching? in english a clock is called a clock but a watch is a WATCH I thought maybe it's because you look at it at such a close distance people always look at clocks and clocks look at people and a watch is on top of a person's wrist that time has warmth the closest clock to a person the time of a watch has temperature Watching you've done it let's work on it based on this we don't have much time so let's get going yes [Wakaba Advertisement] [±¸ÀÎ ¸ðÁý] hello yes is this an advertisement company? yes but do you want something? well even if you say advertisement we don't do much town ads or market ads right? but I want to start from there I thought about other jobs but I think I want to continue the same kind of work so please really? you found a job it's a small place in my hometown but I'll start there I really am sorry to cause you worries and really thank you is this really what you want? yes I've decided already hey my last chapter of the border between child and adult between children when they leave they make a lot of promises adults just leave without saying anything and praying for the other person's welfare so yea... Fujii-san won't choose Ishida Yuya I always thought that huh? but I saw that people always look at clocks and clocks look at people that is talking about Ishida Yuya right? what do you mean? I can tell since I always watched him Ishida Yuya always looked at you and you too looked at him I understand the feelings you put in to writing these words Good luck You don't like work it's not work you like you like being alone good it's set yes sorry can I change the copy? right now? the presentation is tomorrow I really want to please hello I'm from Wakaba Advertisement hello if you need any ads we'll do anything please good luck thanks it's your presentation today right? good luck with piano it was fun this summer being here was fun Imaoka-sa they're here I think you should go The probability that natsuki is waiting for you right now is 100% thank you for gathering today we would like to thank you for giving us this opprotunity first we will show you the idea and then we'll explain the target and then explain the best media plan so first TOKIMOTO TV Cm presentation will start Imaoka will now speak I'm Imaoka from creative agency from the presentation we have worked hard and firstly.. firstly... Imaoka-san? I lately have problems with my liver and it'S very painful so the rest will be explained from Fujii it's awful good bye sorry I'll start right away next will be Konnno Natsuki the piece is by Handel ENJOY! ENJOY! why? my daughter has to be able to enjoy herself Natsuki-chan? Natsuki-chan? what's wrong excuse me who are you? I'm... this can't be accepted he's my dad huh? he'S my dad thanks for coming dad what? you're lonely? if you want I'll be with you I don't hate deep guys I would like to start now a watch in english is Wristwatch and watch means to guard a person's time, the watch right next to the person this relation can be put as guarding and guarded I explained by the following watching with you I found these words from meeting one person the meeting with that person... a nice day like this I think...there must be something more was unbelievably bad and at first I was constantly annoyed you don't like work you like being alone but by working with him isn't there something only you could do? well at first I just felt like I'll watch after him but by the time I knew it make it the best summer of your life if you're lost I'll tell you you're doing good work you're a good girl suddenly I was the one being watched I like you I mean I know everything is different but what can I do since I like you he's the one that made my time warm and I want to sit next to you I want to be next to you but I didn't even realize but if I can have another chance I want to watch him from that meeting watching with you I came up with this idea an everyday scene there's a relationship and that becomes their time this scene with this picture I want to express that time always watches us a watch on a person's wrist by your temperature you are warming time watching with you the closest watch to human a watch's time has warmth TOKIMOTO Ishida is at his home huh? you should tell him the feelings you said before should tell him Ishida didn't run away from you it's more the opposite you are important to him he said before he was quitting if I stay like this I'll make her worry so he asked me to look after you but there's still time if you go there's still a chance but Ishida thought about it and did you tell him? did you tell him you like him? more than any other decorated word it'S hard to say those three letters and more than any other word it's what you have to say do you want to see him? then go see him stupid at the end why do you become a nice person? obviously I want her to be happy Satoshi you've become a good guy a little more right little more OK don't move it a millimeter thank you thanks hello I'm sales office creator his is Ishida so you're actually working? congradulations what are you doing? what about work? Peking weren't you gonna go? how could I go? when I haven't said the words I want to say the most to the person I want to the most it's my first time missing work and doing something like this I mean before I worked at my own pace and always wanted to control myself that's easier that's why I liked being alone but now I think being with another person is better that's how much I like you I like you I love you a nice day like this I think there must be something more a more exciting something or something only I can do or something more but it's only here it's only in front of the work I have right now thinking that I've been working so one day one day when I've worked more and I'm a real adult I'll... I'll pick you up good luck - thanks - ENJOY! no why? I think it's good right? see Fujii yes do this by tomorrow tomorrow? good luck ENJOY! can't Imaoka-san actually I've waited a million years actually sorry subs:dancestar24 thank you for waiting no problem a little tilt please look this way when a guy is out there are 7 enemies apparently then what about women? love triangle? who and who promotion Tamayama Miho-chan serious apparently Tamayama and Miho disappeared during... rumors in the company I used to listen to it as entertainment but if this continues I will be in the rumors please give me some time I knew there was a girl around him it was you Fujii-san and at the end of the love triangle first it will become a rumor in the company then I'll start to suspect him and I'll be right then fighting lastly I won't be able to stay in the company a life I didn't even imagine before no no what's wrong? nothing smells! what's this? sorry one moment Fujii-san i electronics might be difficult no answer? but it's already a week by the lastest we were supposed to by this morning but they said to wait when the answer is postponed at about 62% rate the answer is no going from past experience what about that? Wakabe Yuzo, the anime creator I'm supposed to get an Ok from him this afternoon let's wait for that and then ask the client again we're close, we can't miss this client wait, where's Imaoka-san? oh a magazine interview 10 Japan CM Creators of the time the person I respect? yes Mitsui Hachiroem He's from Edo time period he was the first person in Japan to come up with a sales slogan Money, Low Prices, no waste it's so good and simple I always think the first person is great like Fugu (fish) the first person that ate that so good of him I mean he must have died like why did it have to be cooked that way for getting rid of the poison oh am I talking too long? should it be shorter? no, I want to hear more details don't you, thought so like yogurt, natto, things like that.... I'll hook up with you (attack you) I don't mind after that... after that... remember, what was it? come on did you make it home? I was worried, since you were drunk aren't you tired, it was till morning right? what? serious business trip? I have to..it's to Nagoya I'll bring back a souvenir I'm not good at that stuff but what do you want? then I'll be going what was that ha~ what was yours? my private life is tough mine is hard too mine is like an emergency too mine is probably worse oh... Tanaka-san? why that name? nothing you knew? - I didn't see anything what did you see? why didn't you say anything? Ishida - you're scary Ishida tell me tell me what did you see? Fujii-san can we talk? you really look scary subs:dancestar24 Episode 5 The person who always watches me subs:dancestar24 let's work hard to Yamase's place I'll go with you. no one else is free right now if he rejects, we'll be in tomorrow let's work together and get a good answer yes Yamase Shin is a famous anime creator don't you know The Adventure of Joseph? no Replicant Murder? the only anime I watch is "Sazaesan" and "Chibimarukochan" and also "One Piece" lately anyways he's a famous producer and he has won international awards and we want to ask him to work on this CM but why am I here? it's good for your learning that's definitely a lie oh yes of course it's a lie I mean of course it's awkward if it's just the two of us why are you so open about it? I'm not yea you are I'm not related with all.. you can do it yourself - Fujii-san, Ishida-kun Nice to meet you I don't understand, why me? This CM's theme is portraying something that a human being can't we want something full of impact then can't it be other anime artist? we want to expand for example him, he's never seen your work oh...my family was poor so art and stuff like that.... so please express it to this younger generation in 15 seconds of oyour work please express it, your world the theme is little red riding hood the target is car navigation we'll do all we can to support your work we will all promise you please think positively about it thank you thank you it worked? yes we got a rough sketch this is it it's real? he has good sense what do you understand? he's a real fan Yamase-san's my god! based on that let's talk with i electronics and also I wrote up a plan so bring it from my desk ok Fujii-san, are you free tonight? wanna go for a drink? uh... I wanted to ask for a long time what is little red riding hood about? what? you don't know? yes ok so little red has 3 versions pero ver., grim ver., and now-a-day ver. the most famous is this, grim ver. grim once upon a time there was a girl named little red and she had to go to her grandma's house but the wolf gets there first and eats grandma he ate her? and then little red arrives but the wolf pretending to be grandma eats little red he eats her again is this everything you ordered? and then a hunter realizes the wolf ate them and he cuts his stomach and finds the two of them how's that possible, that's messed up but it's a fairy tale they're all like that, a little scary and reaching the truth of things there are explanations that it represents women who are single single woman? in some kind of country, women who weren't married had to wear a red hair thing and as this story says if a young girl is walking by herself she'll be eaten by a wolf or more like a guy, so be careful a guy eats her? what a good story it's deep can I ask you? what? about your relationship I kind of understand what happened between you two and that it still continues but I won't look into it it must be complicated but from now on what you are doing now I want to know with him, what are you gonna do? secret one more store what's this? shut up Tanaka-san, tell me. I'm serious what are you gonna do from now on I feel sick are you ok? Tanaka-san I want more beer want some water? you're a good girl really Tanaka-san? aren't you married? then why do you...with him? does your husband realize...? you're a good girl but I wanna hurt you I'm not giving him away yet. I'm not gonna give you Ogiwara what's up? wait Yugi-san? hey! it's the first time we see eachother here I was looking for this... little red can you help me with homework? me? I don't know if I'll get it they're good together daddy~ I want a mommy no i don't uh...can I warn you? huh? I think you guys should separate my mom has always suported him when he was trying to become pianist when he couldn't make it and was doing part-time jobs when he started his work now and became more and more busy it still was no use he can't get together with anyone you should separate she stimulates her? who? her if she enters this area then it gets complicated so don't stimulate her Imaoka-san, you don't like her? it's a lie that girls are weak beings that get eaten by wolves when a woman passes 20, they set up traps to be eaten traps? when should we do it next time? it'll be hard to do it till morning like last time so let's do it on weekends come here come here I...actually that night don't remember anything of course...you were drunk drunk? drunk and you sang and danced to dango 3 brothers at a karaoke place oh really? I was singing dango good that's not good what about me? make it clear what? Fujii-san how will she react to that? we can measure her feelings measure? her feeling towards Ishida Yuya. does she see him as a guy? if she seems to care about our relationship then maybe she's interested but if she doesn't care then you are not seen as a guy not a guy not a guy we just received the project this must be your portrayal of little red it's a completely new view and I'm astound please continue to work with us and thank you what should I do about Watanabe-san? I don't remember anything, but did I do something? is it my youth? did I do something? how's your relationship with Ogi-sama? not really when I'm free, I see many things like you and Ogi-sama, you and Tanaka-san don't worry, I won't say anything and did you get a response from the client? not yet they really pull it. what are we gonna do? we havwe something this great we need a sure response but apparently there's a problem so they want to talk with you I'm not doing well with him yet. I don't know what... it involves work, and we're both busy advancing is annoying or you're scared? the distance with a guy is really hard you want to be closer but you don't want to get hurt you want them to hold on to you but always being held on is kind of annoying well let's do our best for someone you feel something for. I mean you want to cherish that tomorrow? tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. can we see each other? I mean if you're busy it's ok then kishimen kishimen? sorry I'm bad at this stuff but I bought it during my business trip so can I bring it to you? that's fine with me bring it? meaning... here? welcome good evening come in coming in you're place is clean when it's messy I don't like it here, there's also wine thanks they had to do a 10 year campaign... and the director was a strange person... I have to ask today and he always cooked stuff for each meeting is your pacing ok? yea, and then? the staff was from England and... about his relationship with Tanaka-san I'm really bad at english I have to ask and I get all nervous and.... what should I do? and about that orientation coming up, I don't understand that... oh...wait I'll leave sorry I'm the one that asked you it's fine. it's my fault my talking was boring. I was nervous but I want to say one last thing you are someone special to me I need you please be with me what are you guys doing? joseph... joseph died [The advenure of Joseph] Yamase-san's my god when can we see him next? I have to tell him my feelings you're so lucky like that. there's a problem with i electronics problem? is it possible to make a live action using an actress live action? this I don't understand I know it's rude but.... there's a problem with the company. so the client wants to keep the atmosphere and the story, using this actress or a joint one using anime and real people what happened to your promise? you said you wanted to portray something that a human being can't what were those words? we understand ok we'll try working things out with the client again we will leave for today why did you have to do that? we know what the client wants. they want Yanase's name but also want to use an actress They wanted to express Yanase-san's work in 15 seconds that's what the client wanted but things have changed the excellent movement in Yanase-san's work in live action that won't be portrayed there's no point in using people then but we have to express what our client wants let's set things back and try again didn't work. they want to use the actress client won't change their mind things won't change like this we need come up with an alternate plan hello this is Fujii what is this? I just had a call Yanase-san's not doing it anymore? what is this, Tanaka-san? quitting? we tried many options but it didn't work then what about this? that won't be showed to the world he drew it for us... I'm sorry for not involving you but we didn't have time I don't agree. I'll talk with Imaoka-san I went with Imaoka-san he agrees. I went but it didn't work. I'm sorry that easily... we got something that great... right now what's important for us is getting the new client, not broadcasting Yanase's work I understand but other options we talked through all kind of ways but they were all rejected but depending on how... you could have done it better? at least my feelings were.... we could have done it in another way that's why we didn't bring you lately your view is very narrow Tanaka said we are making advertisements. a client's advertisement don't make me tell you now I don't know how much of a fan or whatever you are of Yanase but if it doesn't work we can't do anything stop putting together ideal ideas. you need to think of what you can do best with the boundaries you have right now doing that isn't anything wrong. rather it's facing reality you should think more openly I'll go apologize no need to we are gonna go later sorry but he has no reason to see you I understand then please tell him that we are sorry are you satisfied? are you so angry because the other person is me? no... are you sure? Fujii-san you are always so straight but I think that that's a very limited woman I I want Ogiwara to become a good guy I feel bad for him to hook up with someone as low as you so I can't give you Ogiwara I'll try my best -Yamase Fujii come out just tonight come out, please what should we eat? nice work nice work let's go Fujii, we're gonna go drink but wanna come I want to research something. but thank you working women are so hard they have to worry about things they don't have to having extra stress there's a good steak place near by I'll pay wednesday... I have a meeting thursday? another meeting friday friday...home, I have to teach piano to natsuki piano? yea i promised 2 times a week may be difficult but at least once a week oh... that's important gotta hold it since your daughter hates me gotta hold it, even if you are interested in other girls and get their address gotta hold it, even if I go to your room and you make a face and shut me out gotta hold it all but my capacity is full wait, you've changed yea I have huh? you don't say anything I thought you were gonna blame me more I won't you did what you can to benefit our company but, you worry about your actions if it was right, what you did you're worried and you're annoyed so you called me I can tell that much hate you same here but, this is the last time I can't be like this anymore what if I said I'll break up what if I said I'll break up with my husband? what would you do? books I came to borrow a book but whatever but I didn't think you were there I'm surprised were you worried about me? you came for that? little red.... she got eaten by a wolf cuz she was walking by herself someone has to watch her, even if they aren't even a guy I thought it's better if someone watched I...don't understand adult things but I think you're right you promised Yanase-san to support him to support his work we promised breaking that promise it's terrible I look up to you to apologize you're right I know I just care about myself and just got mad I just showed a bad side of me why are you getting weak. you were fine you cared about Yanase-san and did good work so have more confidence if you're lost I'll tell you you're doing good work you're a good woman I'll always tell you right, little red you're so stupid it's a waste listening to you why? actually I was moved I said something good come on by his words getting ready for tomorrow wait you're going back to work? I'm hungry I was moved subs:dancestar24 Ishida Fujii-san so this is your room sofa bed here I'm bad at this stuff I have to finish work thought so here sorry to make you do that no problem just tell me as much as you want then, the door knob huh? it's done perfect really? - yea thanks oh yeah can you check the leak in the kitchen? huh? it's done really? - yea let's see wow~ it's fixed amazing what? nothing I mean I mean I fixed everything a girl and a guy in one room just the two of them well I mean the thing to do is... ouch god ouch Ishida Yuya Results from test what are you... I heard you might be going to Peking? not formal but and also debating about taking some girl or not? you told him? accidentally accidentally... by the way, let's get marreid in chinese is you really know stuff they were showing it on chinese lessons tv show yesterday I even took notes to make fun of him say it again the worst two don't pull I want to be next to you I want to stay next to you you're not gonna pray? the results are tomorrow actually it's before payday and you don't have any money I have some this this is the last one I can't live without that wait good morning great attendance despite it's the weekend presentation is soon I can't keep track of days anymore I haven't had like any days off this month since we're all gathered let's get started yes watch company TOKIMOTO they are the first company in Japan to make machine watches and they have controlled watch industry here but lately with the popularity of cell phones there are people who say the need for watches is becoming low so once again they want a commercial that reexplain to people the importance of watches they are very worked up for this of course they are I mean they want Fujii not me not me! well soon cellphones and tv I will take over too but first with watches wow you really say it you have energy wow results? I'm excited too so I want to find out how and when the results come out I want to be ready right you took the test results are soon right? - yes there might be an e-mail so I'll check yes Fujii-san yes? I have something to tell you... let's get married (in chinese) huh? Ishida Yuya has passed the first round of test you've passed huh? you passed first round passed? I passed! passed? yay! passed tell me earlier if you knew sorry thank your advisor Fujii-san Ishida yay congradulations yay yay have they forgotten its the first round? 2nd interview is harder oh well yay yay Fujii Ishida Good Job! YES! Episode.10 What I can do right now subs:dancestar24 a watch is something that is with us everyday for example you buy it when you enter a company and your time as a worker starts you buy it when you succeed in work and your next time for work begins a clock is an item you travel through your time voyages a clock that stands next to life [TIME TRAVELER] TIME TRAVELER TOKIMOTO you didn't make it? yea I couldn't well it's not that easy but I feel better thanks for everything bye interview Watanabe-chan good work here what's that? this is a calming cactus and it matches mine matching? I mean it doesn't matter where you are no matter where you are it's Watanabe-chan love but if you are gonna work hard for another year I'll look at this cactus and work hard here watanabe-chan work hard I don't get it how beautiful but don't understand Tanaka-san hey why does everyone want to enter creative i definitely wouldn't want to you lose everything lose? yea I mean you have no life energy, time you lose it all and using your brain too much you lose your mind do you still want to enter? that not really... there fail huh? this is what kind of stuff you're asked in the interview be ready to answer any question thank you yes and also suits this world it seems free but it actually has a lot of order be ready with a formal wear yes suit? head how was it? head, was there something wrong? to be honest I was disappointed like there was nothing I was moved by words were just put together I thought you made something that moves the heart but it seemed very logic based so we have an answer now another presentation another presentation sorry I'll work again Fujii you should break your pattern pattern? you have experience and you learned know how so now you have a pattern and you depend on it cuz that's the easiest but that others realize you should come up with a new pattern or you'll have troubles in the future I understand I'll do my best you can do it Creative Agency Fujii Minami profile this... it's the same one I gave Tokimoto client saw those and nominated you always together found friendship working hard reaches others the answer is within that thanks Fujii-san I have something to... tell... Fujii-san so surprised Ogiwara-san can I ask you a favor later? huh? how is it? it should be a darker color why do I have to be here too sorry to make you come you have great style so please give me advice hope his efforts don't go the wrong away Fujii-san uh.. can I talk to you... how is it? oh it's good then one more one more? ok Ishida yes I'm moving to another country another country? I want to bring Fujii-san is it ok if I talk about that with her? no need to wrap it Peking company? I was told lately 2008 Olympics 2010 Shanghai exhibition they want to broaden the company for that so to help that Peking? can you come with me? huh? they want a creator as well When I saw your works I thought... working hard reaches others found friendship always together they are all so straight and before if it was before I would think of myself and feel that it doesn't fit me but now I need that what I don't have is that kind of straightness I like you I like you I like you Nacchan leaves for Hungary uh..this piano at my music club I'm playing last you're busy right? I'll go of course I'll go let's practice your piece you should go home now I still have work choose huh? what Ogiwara said to you before to go or not to go choose but I'm not giving up either I'll definitely pass look at how you look I'm not going I'm grateful for his feelings but there's nothing with him now you're jealous? no jealous? - no jealous? - no jealous? - no jealous? - no hey the interview the interviewers are very strict interviewers? heads and also SCD? SCD? Senior Creative Director my head they are all that kind of people how can I talk in front of people like that no reason to be nervous it's all in 7 seconds 7 seconds? yes in an interview, the first impression is everything so first look, about 7 minutes is everything 7 seconds well how am I? first impression how do I look in 7 seconds? well~ you look like those wandering youths in Shibuya oh... that's bad that's bad please help me please help me My My good points are I think very positively over everything and I try hard good job that's it? please help me again again? please question yes have you slept with Fujii Minami yet? huh? what are you asking? no reason to answer I'm not hurrying or anything but not yet? I understand well that's it Imaoka-san can i ask one more thing you're obnoxious uh... is it ok letting Nacchan go like this? no no but nothing I can do since she wants to go Natsuki-chan? what's up? you're debating? if it's ok just leaving him like this... what happened? your mind changed? he's the one that changed lately he is very weak and quiet you're self centered that'S who Imaoka Kiotaro is are you gonna be with him anymore? I... don't know please come to the recital with him please talk with him then please Natsuki? I heard that and thought I had said too much last time sorry I mean you shouldn't be the one worried about feelings she's the one who has moving feelings adults around her shouldn't have moving feelings right now same impression as before ok I'll think again actually there was a call from the client how is it? Imaoka-san they want you to participate in the next presentation me? then do they not care about her plan anymore? they want her ideas too but if we lose again we may lose this project all together so we should have Imaokasan participate too when's the presentation? September 18th 14:00 18th Natsuki's recital 14:30 good luck at your interview -Fujii what happened to Fujii? they want Imaokasan too huh? Fujii isn't the main anymore? well she's trying to come up with new ideas but I'll pass the test I'll pass and settle things with Fujii-san I'm not letting her go anywhere Ishida Yuya Interview Good Luck to me i'm going Yu-kun it's today good luck [waiting room] next Ishida-kun yes Creative Test Hello Well first the bug spray presentation yes Bug spray people are kind i wrote this from a bug's viewpoint bug viewpoint bug spray doesn't kill bugs it just avoids bugs that's really nice I see interesting this is a potato chips plan I wrote when I first entered this company the client said that they wanted to use it too Client... the character is good Jagar-kun From the curry smell next door I can eat 3 bowls of rice Curry mail picture would be really good Curry mail picture I see that's interesting that will be the end of my presentation you are trained well under Imaoka-kun you have uniqueness and good sense but you've never continued work you changed your job a lot but do you get bored easily? uh..that I couldn't find anything I wanted to do but now at this company involved with Cm production meeting new people, and learning new things I want to work here from this year how do you feel about our income from advertisements? internet I think it's important to profit from internet advertisements what do you think the most important change we should make for our company to lead this industry? uh... How do you feel about advertisement companies succession? company succession? Ishida-kun yes Takeshita-kun yes Ishida-kun you need more social experiences social experiences? you may have good sense but in a work like this you need common sense and knowledge what is a company? what is a group? you need to learn more you need more time China company Natsuki Recita 14:30 Presentation 14:00 can't come yea sorry I have work that day now I see good luck ENJOY have fun what are you thinking? it's her last time she wants to show something to your for the last time but you do the same thing? what can I do? if I don't do this she can't make a decision what do you... I shouldn't be worried about I have to push her if I really think about her I have to smile and send her off at least for last I need to show off or I have no position so on purpose? on purpose you said you're not going? First passed Second starts at 10:00 Ishida too bad don't mind try again next year be more cheerful you were just unlucky Ishida 10 copies let's start again from here let's work hard yes I'll work hard too Ishida sorry take care of this - yea Fujii needs to work hard are you ok Fujii? I'm fine why don't you leave it to Imaoka-san this time? i'm fine I'll finish it up you're just locking yourself up working too hard during times like this want me to help? I can do it myself, don't worry but you're mad I'm fine I can do it myself what do you want to say? if there isn't anything I'm going nothing has changed Fujii-san ever since I first met her she's always busy and always working hard but she has something that holds off others and now too Fujii-san is trying to do everything herself working too hard staying like this she'll probably worry about me for not succeding and carrying things by herself I want to be with her but staying like this I'll make her be more lonely so I'm not good for her then I need to send her off smiling I can't show off hey Ogiwara-san How do you feel about advertisement companies succession? huh? why all a sudden just answer creating value by producing CMs providing more fun, more revolution as well as providing a new value to lifestyle that's the importance and job of an advertisement company wow Ogiwara-san please take care of Fujii-san [Ishida Yuya] [Fujii Minami] Currently no one can pick up the phone please leave your message after the tone hello? I was wondering how you were don't worry about the test no need to rush results will come one day want to discuss what went wrong? want to eat curry? I'll make it maybe I shouldn't your curry is really good let's work hard together well see you tomorrow hey Fujii yes this resignation everyone It's sudden but I'll quit today I'm really sorry to be quitting like this it's for personal reasons I will never forget about everyone to a useless part-timer like me thank you giving me the best summer a really stimulating summer sorry please throw these out he didn't have to quit don't you think? yea was it the test? was he that depressed? yes didn't realize Fujii? it's not that you like work you like being alone make it the best summer of your life if you're lost I'll tell you you're doing good work you're a good girl I don't want to be less than a guy I like you I always want to be next to you subs:dancestar24 working hard to kick the ball really stuck to me and it's fine now being with you is boring and being like this I don't know why we are here together that's it? I haven't talked with him how long now? a week you're no good, Fujii why are you like that? a guy and girl tears, sexiness you gotta use girl weapons I'm not good at that stuff well I can't say much either so that client... so the next thing by Yugi-chan we need her she's expensive for a girl and she's picky but that's what's good aobut her that special sense what are you doing? just go huh? Ogiwara-san is looking this way I can't see him now just go should I stop? turn uh... boyfriend... I broke up oh you had a boyfriend? yea you had a boyfriend? but his existence was low and I didn't lovingly kiss with him lovingly kiss? the basis of love lovingly kiss, isn't it? lovingly kiss who i want the most right now is just Ishida yuya the difference between a guy and a girl is how well they can be parts parts? I mean girls have more energy now work is everything but they are too self centered or they are too much did something happen? it's this Shantoni project the head is this career woman and she keeps on sending mails showing that she is counting on this project sounds like Fujii huh? Fujii why don't you go? to where? tomorrow business trip to winery in Yamanashi winery? you were there when this project started everything is set so go instead of me and show how we are into this project ok? Enjoy! have fun so sudden... Imaoka-san? HELLO communications Imaoka-san is in trouble it'S difficult Hello company cell phone? it's been Imaoka-san's client for a long time but the head changed this year and saying that they want to make distance with customers good, it's now 5 company competition 5 companies? so about the winery can you go? the advertisement department will go to. It will be Someya I understand. I'll go discuss issues Fujii-san...uh... wait... Ishida what should I do? what? it's there it's there it's there what's there? it's dangerous, be careful no it's Ogiwara-san Fujii-san, did you hear about Shantoni oh sorry Someya is away, so I'm... really~ what are you doing? what should I do? it's really awkward it's really really awkward I can't go on a business trip with him business trip? wanna come too? why me? you liked wine, right? wine? what are you saying? what I like is Apple cider right right right. but isn't good to taste some wines now like a real adult come on no thanks I'm fine just as a kid come on what? lovingly kiss huh? love... reason doesn't matter lovingly kiss you think too much in your head it's not like that... I actually have someone I care about too huh? Watanabe-san tomorrow I have a date so I can't go with you but from now on too as a brother I'll cheer you on, sister let's work hard love love kiss brother brother... subs:dancestar24 Episode.07 Kissing in the Grape Vine ¡¡ ¡¡ subs:dancestar24 I feel a girl girl? it's strange something was weird so after collecting info that's what it seems like stop eavesdropping the girl is from the company what should we do tomorrow? I wanna go somewhere far away it's our first date then how about curry museum in Yokohama I have 3 restaurants I wanna try how much do you love curry? but curry buffet for a date, what the...? who's the girl? impossible to tell what is he doing in such a small workplace can you speak yourself? of course I broke up what? what are you guys doing? the worst parent and kid what are you doing using this thing? good job Yu-kun you suck Good morning Good morning let's go stop this what? you're avoiding me too much I'm not yea you are you didn't pick up your phone yesterday? phone? didn't notice huh? can't you tell, if you look at records isn't this situation bad well who caused this? so let's talk... huh? serious? that part-timer brand advertisement? what is that? basically, it's an advertisement to raise the image of company for example this putting effort from the heart Menard Drive Your Dreams people, society, the new future of earth TOYOTA let's change the air Este Company shantoni? they want to change the redundant image of big companies of mass production concentrating on profits to a more serious company that you can relate to its creators the CM is gonna take place at this winery where Fujii is today lucky a company worker winery saying it's work, it's a mini vacation lucky ah! wait wait why? wait - it's hot hot hot hot hot it's hot stop saying hot hot it feels even hotter oh~ cold I'm so cold so stupid it's shocking it's my limit by the heat I can't think that's why I hate the country side what are you saying? the air is nice and lots of nature oh a bee bee? - bee where? bee? just kidding bad personality you realized now? by the way those two is there something special? I smell love love? Fujii and Ogiwara? I'm good at guessing stuff like this right? Yugi-chan what? me too I think there's something between them they're good together oh you know something? is there something? oh stop it they broke up what? I can't say the details but there's nothing now really? we're here Since 1968 Miura wine it's far taxis, you should be running come on country side shut up oh hello sorry when you are busy Imaoka-san? huh Someya-san? they're both not here? I invited them uh.. Shantoni advertisement I'm Hirano sorry I'm Ogiwara from creative agency they change people quickly nothing like that why doesn't Imaoka-san come himself? I mean the slogan fee, the planning meeting... there were a lot I wanted to discuss good work sorry I'll introduce them they are from Tokyo company Fujii and Ogiwara they are from the Winery. the Miura's I'm Miura, and this is my husband nice to meet you wow~ it's such a nice place this winery was a grape vine to begin Originally our ancestors made it for the people around here but it was so nice to be appreciated by others so adding more time by our generation winery became our main business but it'S still a small company here you go delicious I really taste the fruit my boss tasted the wine and ever since he has been backing them up I love it too when I'm like this I'm really relaxed yes here I think it's a good settting for a CM how was it? the CM sample we sent you? that... hey part-timer deliver this asap to Yamanashi Yamanishi? there was a call from Fujii that that family they don't want to be in the CM the CM we gave them was to show their work in a documentary like way that's the plan so... so she wants to convince them by showing them similar CMs from the past you're scary shut up! you what about a date? work work come on dash! run! dash is impossible come on hurry go travel fee - you don't have any nope then bring a receipt back then I'll go don't forget receipt Creative Agency Future Creative Agency Future counting on you what's up? I'm leaving early leaving early? he's late he should be arriving any moment oh the VERAISON is starting VERAISON? the grapes are getting color first the sour grapes get color and then it becomes sweeter the sweetness changes to good taste possibly were you going ou with an older woman? huh? people who talk about wine like that is good at love with older women long years of wine loving has taught me but he's late oh here it is hot madam madam madam I'm looking for someone it's so far from the train station buses or taxis won't come madam? Ishida! stupid I'm sorry Ishida! Fujii-san Watanabe-san nice work oh we meet often we finally have a chance we will win bye Imaoka-san you look good right now huh? you're not my type a person like you, carnivorous but a guy fighting looks nice I'm not really but Imaoka-san what really happened with him? who knows that's not good the ideal employer making your employees bored if you watch this video I think you can understand please ok... there's nothing now here what's this? it's better than apple cider of course, it's vintage vin....? don't you hear like different years? the year you were born wedding anniversary then we can't drink too much? they collect wines they have a lot so they said please have some while waiting serious? -yea then another one of course because it's vintage Cuban pianist Rubin Gonzalez..do you know him? from the Shell Club I always liked him since I'm in this world I wanted to make a Cm of him enjoy music enjoy people enjoy music enjoy people that he took it that guy 1996 Japan Advertisement Designer Award Kanzu Akira if it was that, it'd be better but also he took the words of my employees words? CM's they want to make one day words they want to use one day enjoy music enjoy people that... he passed the line it's early but let's go drink what's that? you're asking me out? I actually like carnivorous types hunting is meant for herbivorous types nice work - yes that enjoy guy what about carnivorous? is he trying to show off? hello? hello? Is this Yugi-san's cell phone? who is this? It's Natsuki huh? you two, come on no thank you we'll wait for Hirano and everyone do not worry, go on ahead really? here I brought stuff you two they agreed we saw the videos and now we understand we just have to work as usual so will you participate? if we are good enough thank you not at all let's start the meeting Fujii-san brand slogan the one now is ok but can you come up with another today, after this after this? then how about you stay for the night? there's a good hot spring near by no, we'll be leaving I'll go let's go to hot spring [Men] don't say you want to go I said it so what can I do? uh... how is it with Fujii-san none of your business yes it is if, there's nothing now I was gonna go for her please don't take him huh? Ishida Yuya he's mine you like him? yea I like how I can't get him stimulating for playing don't worry no one's home yet oh! DVDs I lent him! I'm bringing it home uh... I called you cuz I wanted to talk not me satisfied? getting rid of me happy aren't you glad supposed to but something that bothers me it's earlier than I expected [I'm gonna be in Hungary longer] the day I'll leave this house [wanna live with mom? ] [from mom] I think he's gonna be lonely lately he's starting to change he's getting feelings for me? well he is my dad blood is stronger than water I'm more worried about your future your vast vocabulary? you don't sound like a kid so I think that there's a plan we can work out plan? what? new slogan? I talked with hirano-san again and I decided to come up with more then maybe I'll too I mean, ground slogan I want to learn more then this is the one we have now Future happiness straight to you hey can I ask you something? nice work nice work it's good yes they are really close I think about it what? working like this all by myself or being with someone else like that on a night like this drinking wine from the year I was born which is more happy? well we'll meet together upstairs then I'll change and... yea oh what's up? uh... how much does this cost? Tanaka mizuho you finally called sorry for e-mailing you multiple times I only could e-mail at work I heard my husband called you weren't you surprised? but were you ok? it was bothering me it was hard we fought a lot and screamed at each other crying and screaming adults but now it's ok Satoshi become a good guy when you say good guy you mean a guy acting as a girl wants a real good guy for a long time is able to face one girl so you face her too show your real self Fujii-san Ishida Yuya what are you doing? nothing wine? wine is expensive what? look this... 1977 did you know? each wine costs $300 $300 For Fujiisan? hey $300 for a wine impossible impossible realize for god's sake Fujii-san's like this wine she's unreachable it's not that it may be different for a sex friend or something but at the end she won't choose you the world she lives in financially, love interest, marriage there's nothing in common and it looks bad for her she cares about htat that's the kind of person she is wih Tanaka we're done about that... seriously serious it's over sorry I couldn't tell you earlier about that...it doesn't matter and I'll say more when I was young I had a vivipara for a pet when I was young, there was a hot spring near my home, and I almost drowned in the girl's side too I pretend to act like I know about wine but everything I eat, I put mayonnaise on it my first girl friend, I took her to the movie Child play that really scary doll movie I'm totally off I'm really no good why suddenly? I wanted you to see the real me uh... now... how do you feel about Ishida? not even a guy Fujii-san that's how she sees you but I see you as a guy so you choose too me or Fujii-san. decide Drink party? I was invited by the workers so I can't help you sorry wait oh you're still working? nice work you work hard I'm glad I got to work with you huh? I really feel your passion so I can accomplish good work Asano-san he wants to help please please Fujii-san is work fun? sometimes don't you feel like you're gonna tear apart being chased by time you don't even know that you're a girl or what anymore honestly yes times like that be complimented accomplish work that you can be complimented with and gain confidence only those with confidence can move on Enjoying the natural everyday Ishida? what are you doing? are you taking grapes on your own to bring home? no...work work? uh... last night, they were short on people so they hired me and they thought that I was good and what's that? you were doing that? then help me with work grand slogan what you want to express the most it's so educational and why? I mean I can't think of it I can't be thinking when I can't say it what I want to express the most to the person that's most important when I can't even do that a brand slogan and all... that's not... I mean wine wine? they said they'd give me just for working for a night 1977 the wine of someone's birth year I wanted to give it so that's why I... why? wine... why? I don't want to I don't want to call you, sister I don't want to be your brother I don't want to be less than a guy I like you probably from the first time we met I mean I understand our age, position, everything don't go together but what can I do since I like you that's why I... could only do something like this to make you happy I mean that's all I can do that's all I can do subs:dancestar24 Adel Imam Yussra Hind Sabri Khaled Elsawi Ahmad Ratib Khaled Saleh Basem Elsamra Tamer Abelmeneim Abbas Abulhassan The role of Dawlat was played by Isa'ad Younis In 1937, the chief Armenian in Egypt, Hagoub Yacoubian, built... a residential building and named it after his name The style was European and the architect was Italian And the Armenian gentleman was so fond of it... that he wrote his name in Latin on the inside of the entrance When the building was still new, it had residents such as... ministers, high ranking Pashas and foreigners there were even Jews, two of them were from the Nosseir family The building's roof was vast, it had a room for the doorman... and a room for each apartment for laundry and storage... and related things Everything was beautiful the country looked beautiful and the building was beautiful The revolution broke out, ending the era of the Pashas and the 1956 war was the beginning of the end for foreigners and Jews Apartments that became vacant after their owners left the country were taken by high ranking officers in the army... whose wives never forgot their passion for raising poultry and it was OK for the rooms to be residence for the maids and of course, the whole makeup of the residents changed Along with the openness system, the streets started to change Stores changed their type of business and people changed as well Just as the officers' moving into the building ruined it... their leaving it totally destroyed it They'd become rich and had moved to Mohandessin and Nasr City and the building became available to anyone with money and of course, the whole makeup of the residents changed The roof became full, each room had a whole family in it It wasn't just the building that changed, but the country too Nour Elsherif Ahmad Bedeir Sumaiah Elkhashab Tala'at Zakaria Mohamad Eldafrawi The new actor: Mohamad Imam playing Taha Elshathly "The Ya'acoubian Building" Based on the novel by: Doctor Ala'a Elaswany Artistic producer Nabil Sobhi Executive producer Kareem Shaker Distribution in Egypt and World Arab Company for Production Clothes Designer Nahed Nassrallah Technical Supervision and Decor Fawzi Ela'awamri Music Khaled Hammad Editing Khaled Mar'ee Head of photography Sameh Seleem Supervision: Adel Adeeb, Sameh Jubran Script Waheed Hamed Directed by... Marwan Hamed I told you a million times that this place is respectable If you want to stay here, you have to be well-mannered A lot of people drink here, but they're respectable Give me 3 Brandys - Cheers - Cheers, Hamama Sit somewhere else, No'man, the Pasha is waiting for his friend Would you like another beer or some fresh peanuts? No, beer causes flatulence - and makes me urinate a lot - Why don't you order whiskey? Whiskey? If I drink whiskey I'll stay here and I'll go out and find it dark, and it'll stay dark You're very funny, Pasha, why not go to the hotel bars? I mean 5 star bars, you can afford it Listen, It's not the alcohol I'm after - and you know that - I'm still thinking about it It doesn't need thinking, we'll have a couple of drinks together That's all? That's all In that case, I should come by your office, right? - When? - Whenever I'm in the mood Tomorrow... Go get me the check At your service Send 6 crates, but more beer because it's in demand Yes, but don't be late The check for table 9 - What's with that table 9? - Make up you mind... if I'm straight with customers, you tell me to be nicer with them He's respectable and generous, what's wrong with talking to him? Listen, I don't like anything to happen behind my back That goes here only, but on the outside, I'm free I'll go give him his check OK, go What is it, Taha? Are you stupid like your father? No one washes the stairs at this hour Mr Aouny, the stairs should only be washed at night... when there are very few people going up and down OK, are you going to chat with me? - Dry up a spot for us to walk on - At your service, Pasha Out of the way Did you finish high school, Taha? - Yes - What college will you apply to? Thank God, my average can get me into a respectable college but I applied to the police academy You want to become a police officer, Taha? Put the mat back in front of the door after you're done - Good night, Buthaina - You, too, uncle Hamed - Don't leave the TV on - Don't worry What is it, man? I've already gone to sleep You can get up, woman I will pray to God, God the greatest... No, I've done it before - What is it, Khamees? - This is not the place to talk Isn't it late enough? Or are you waiting for the loved one? - Don't you have work early? - I quit - When? - Today Why did you quit? - I want to watch the movie now - What damned movie? Am I destined to live in anguish day and night? Get up, get up and tell me what happened Come in, your father left me a burden more than I can handle Why'd you quit your job? - The store owner grabs everything - No one steals his money - No, he laid his hands on me - He hit you? - No - Well then... - how did he lay his hand on you? - He caressed You know what caress means, or don't you? I'm going to look for a new job tomorrow morning A friend of mine will take me to clothes store owned by a Syrian... she says he's married to a beautiful woman and is satisfied What? I told you that Fifi the daughter of Salama the ironer... - will take me to a good job - What's the use... if you can't stay in one job for long? - Should I lose my virginity? - No body said that but you should think of your brothers and our tight situation A smart girl knows how to protect her virginity... without upsetting anyone or quitting her job I said that the guy I work for unzipped his pants Everyone is free with his clothes as long as you keep yours on God is the greatest I testify that there is no God but Allah I beg forgiveness of God the greatest I testify that there is no God but Allah I intend to purge myself of all sins God is greatest Good morning, Dawlat What are you getting all dressed up for? How strange you are, sister, I've always been like this I wish I could know where you go every day Thank God you're my sister and not my wife It's daytime, so where am I going to go? To the office - You look like you want something - Of course... While you're walking around like always, checking out women... Enough, Dawlat I'm your sister, Zaki your sister, I know exactly what you do every day - What do you want? - My diamond ring... is being fixed by Papazian the jeweler, go pick it up OK, the first thing I do today will be to get the ring... and I'll pay for it, too - How are you, Mondy? - Good morning, Zaki Pasha - Zaki Pasha - Hello, Hassouna, what's wrong? - My affairs aren't quite right - What affairs? THE affairs, and you know everything, Pasha I've been married for one month, but I feel like I'm not quite right At your age? There must be something wrong? Any problems? No one doesn't have problems I'm talking about your problems, forget other people's problems I'm in debt to some annoying people who don't stop asking and my boss fired me, and I don't know hwy in addition to my mother-in-law who's staying with us and my sister is divorced with 3 kids All these problems and you want to be OK with your wife? - No way, that's impossible - I was thinking if you... had one of those pills, they told me that it... What? Using pills at your age is certain suicide Listen, all the pills and creams in the world won't help you This has to be in a good mood As long as this is OK, everything will be OK Go, get rid of your problems and you'll be fine OK, Pasha Move it out, driver What is it, sergeant? Mr Hatem is due down now - Good morning, Nabil - Good morning, Mr Hatem Good day, Hajj - come in for a second - How's the market? We're at the end of this month, it's OK - But in general - In general, we're number one - and we have the highest sales - May God bless I wish you'd come in for a couple of minutes I'll come down and drink tea with you another time - Good bye - Good bye No, I won't be able to come down Why, Hajj? You're a blessing to us - Anyway, how's work? - Excellent May God bless, Tell everyone I said hi - I will, Hajj... Good bye - Drive on, driver - I hope he's a good man - In what sense? - That he's not a dirty old man - All men are like that All men stare at women, and their bluntness is by the kilogram - like potatoes - I've quit several jobs... - because of men's lechery - You're stupid that way you'll never get a job, you have to get along - What do you mean? - I mean that there are limits... a girl can allow, and there are things that are off limits... and that's how a smart girl does things And I thought that life was going to smile upon me Why should it? You're pretty? There are prettier girls You're a high school graduate? They're a dime a dozen Your article has caused a commotion Such article should be translated and published in Arabic magazines We're done with yesterday's issue Let's concentrate on what's at hand What about the next issue? I think the main subject is the arrest of the terrorists... who tried to kill our great novelist Nageeb Mahfouth Exactly, I want complete details of their arrest I want their pictures, and I want to know who they are - I want the whole story - It will be ready before printing OK, who's willing to write about the late Lita Gallad? Lita Gallad... the founder of Journal D'Egypte since we're a French newspaper and we should honor her - I, sir - OK We have to write about the police efforts in upper Egypt We've to reinstate trust in tourism we don't want Egypt to look... like it's at war, where's the normal life? We can talk about tourism in Sharm and Hurgada The activity there is not bad, and there are no troubles I have a very good subject a new trainee wrote it he's written a great article about homosexuality in Egypt What's this nonsense? What homosexuality? How will that interest our readers who are mostly foreigners? Take,for example, in the investigative section... the article about the relics in Tal Elamarnah it's a new subject with nice pictures that's what's called an important subject - What about sports? - What sports? Write about anything, Soccer... Hello, Le Caire newspaper... yes... It's the office of the French ambassador Janmy, How are you? We had a good time last night, right? The Islamic Philanthropic" Society" What is it, Hajj? You don't usually come this early - It's a necessity, Sheikh Salman - What is it? Listen Sheikh Salman, I've been... I don't know what to say Talk, man, I'm your confidant, have faith in God Until now, when I sleep... - I see nice things - This is a gift from God Can you imagine that at my age... I have wet dreams! and once or twice a week Twice! How great, so God has given you strength These things are not related to age, this is a natural outlet God bestows it onto his good worshipers... who don't take the way of vice But the question is where's your wife? The Hajja is with me but you can say that she doesn't desire that anymore and every time I go near her, she tells me I should be ashamed because my sons are grown men with moustaches Even if she agrees, she's my age and time has taken it's toll on her This is very simple, get married and God bless you - That's what I'm afraid of - Afraid of what? What will people say about a man my age getting married? When it comes to God's law, what people say has no importance What's with you, Hajj? You can marry 4, it's God's law And the kids, Fawzi and Kadri? or Hamdy the district attorney? Hajj Azzam, what God allows no one can oppose not a district attorney, nor anyone else What's with you, Hajj? It's God's law "The Engineering Office For Construction" I told you a 100 times the sign needs cleaning - I swear by Christ, I just did - And why is it stuffy? ... - open the windows - I'm afraid of flies What flies? Open the windows - Do you have a meeting? - Yes, there's a meeting - Shall I prepare things? - Prepare things "I quit loving you" "and you don't love me" - OK... Fifi... - Yes, sir Take her and show her how we do things here - and train her yourself - Yes, sir Thank you very much, God willing, I'll live up to your expectations - Who shall I say it is? - Rabab, he's expecting me Welcome How beautiful! Come in, whoever comes in here becomes a member of the house - Is this a house? - A house... or an office... It's a safe place, comfortable and cozy I was afraid you wouldn't come I always keep my promises - And who is this? - My father, rest his soul - He looks like a real Pasha - Of course, what did you think? That I was a fake Pasha? This picture is of my dad in the hall of the regal palace... after taking the oath in front of the king... Ice? It was the first time he heads the Ministry of Public Works That's why I agreed to come, to have something I can be proud of I can say I knew a real Pasha Instead of the misery I'm in, you see the people at the bar You're so cute But I've no luck, Pasha Where's the toilette? Oh, when you go out, it'll be on your right Excuse me Everything is set, I'll go out for a couple of hours I'll meet my brother Malak, there's something we're taking care of Take your time Was the door just opened and shut? Yes, this is it exactly, I like a practical woman Listen, I've known many women, from princesses to maids... but I swear I've never seen one like you - I was talking about the door - What door? It's Fanouss... and he left He'll be late Good Is this office for accounting or import and export, or law practice? Does it matter if it's for accounting or law practice? It's an engineering office, I'm an engineer But I don't see any engineering going on I set up this office after I got my degree from France - So, you know French, then - Of course I know French You'll see for yourself just how good I am at French Oh, Pasha! Why'd you quit engineering? The country doesn't need engineers these days it needs hoodlums... thieves - Where are we going to sleep? - In the conference room - Did the man get there? - He got to the club 20 minutes ago Oh, Mary, mother of grace... Malak... Whatever happens between me and this man, you stay out of it I understand, brother, does he know we're going to meet him? He set up the appointment, and left word at the gate so they let us in So? - Did you bring the money? - Of course, Pasha we keep our promises and Christ will bear witness on judgment day I brought my brother Malak especially... so you'd see for yourself how respectable he is Listen, Fanouss... I'm not required to conduct a police check for everyone... - who wants to live on the roof - He won't live there, Pasha the room on the roof has been shut since it's owner died and my brother Malak, as you know, is a tailor... so, he'll work in it all day and then go home at night he has a family and kids, and a heavy burden Whatever... - You got the money? - Not all of it A true Copt never lies And a true Copt keeps his end of the deal I said 6 thousand, Shall I write up a contract to that effect? 4 thousand, Mr Fekry By Christ, we're sure that you'll embrace us with your kindness You've done a lot of good to all people and you've taken so many cases without asking for retainer think of us as one of your cases and he has children, and the church gives him charity and as you see, I'm handicapped and I can't help him and you do a lot of good, the priest at the church told us - we belong to the same church - What are you doing? OK, leave the money and have one of you come tonight to get the contract May God reimburse you for your love Of course, we have all the colors you can imagine but, delivery will be after 3 months - Is there a problem, dad? - No, son, it's nothing - You don't look right - My mind is preoccupied but don't worry what's on my mind has nothing to do with work - You want some marijuana? - Oh yes, perfect timing Fawzi, Shekh Salman wants to see you and your brothers and I want you to listen to him carefully - What is it, Hajj? - When you see him you'll find out Enjoy it, Hajj - Tell me - What? How are things going with the Japanese? Excellent - Consider it ours - God bless May God keep the vultures away By the way, I forgot to tell you Selim Za'atar the customs agent has a new big office and he insists that you attend the opening He deserves it, I'll go Fifi got me a new job at a clothing store Where's this job? - For a man called Talal Elshamy - What's wrong with you, Buthaina? You couldn't find anyone other than Talal Elshamy to work for? - What's wrong with Talal? - He has a very bad reputation What do you know about him? Did you work for him? Listen, I know the whole area very well and I know the people, I was born and raised here Anyway, he didn't do anything bad to me - He will - When he does, I'll deal with it but it's 250 pounds a month, and for us to live... we need 4 times that amount, my mother works as a maid for 300 a month and is exhausted, my father died while indebted Some of the creditors waivered their rights, but others didn't and we have to pay off his debt or he won't go to heaven you're telling me Talal has a bad reputation, well, who doesn't? or do you just like to talk? And listen here... you can have your silver engagement ring back I won't let you police my life starting now Hey, Pasha... Zaki Pasha... Pasha... Are you tired? Are you ill? - Shall I call a doctor? - No What time is it? Seven thirty Where's my watch? Is there a problem, Pasha? My wallet, there were 900 pounds in it I was robbed, Fanouss that girl took everything she took my sister Dawlat's ring and took a set of gold plated pens what will a prostitute do with gold plated pens? She'll either sell it or give it to her lover, let's call the police What police? Are you stupid? What am I going to tell them? I don't care about the money the problem is Dawlat's ring, I have to get it back "Oh my love, I'm full of confusion... and fire" Good evening, Pasha, at your service - Send me Rabab - Won't I do? You'll do, but I want Rabab for something private She's off today, and I'm at your service - OK, get me the manager - The manager? - won't you drink anything? - Get me the manager - There they are, count them - You're right... you had 6 beers, but you also ordered 9 Brandys with them because you were mixing beer with brandy There is no Brandy Will you pay here, or would you rather go to the bathroom... - What do you want, Pasha? - and we'll make you pay... - I want Rabab - Wasn't she with you today? - you miss her already? - You know everything, then Anyone who has my job has to know every little thing - Rabab robbed me - You asked for it You cheated Pasha, you tricked me and the owner of the bar... and the customers This place is respectable, we only offer drinks... nothing else, we are respectable people that's why I fired Rabab and you're fired, too and don't even let me see you pass in front of the bar Do you want to leave on your feet or on a stretcher, lover boy? Get up before I beat you up in front of the bar trash How did I miss that? How did I miss that you're a pimp? - Good evening - Good evening - Where's Hoda Sha'rawy street? - I don't know Are you a stranger here? No, but sometimes a person gets disoriented I don't know anything about all these streets we stand where they tell us to You mean you stay standing all night? - It's our destiny - You can't sit? Oh God, if they catch me sitting or sleeping, I'll get punished - But you can walk around - In the area of my watch You look like an excellent young man Thank you, sir Walk with me for a few meters - I told you, sir... - Come on - Here - No, I can't we're not allowed to take anything from anyone - What's your name? - Abd Rabbu Abdelbary, sir Nice to meet you Listen, Abd Rabbu, first of all, I'm not just anyone secondly, no one can see us, here, don't upset me But this is a lot, no one does anything like this I do this I like to make people happy May God bring you happiness, sir When you know me better, you'll be sure God bless you, sir Where have you been, Pasha? - Good evening, Dawlat - "Good evening, Dawlat"! What is it with you? Do you think you live in a hotel? Wait and talk to me - Yes, Dawlat? - Do you know what time it is? I've been sitting here worried about you for 4 hours - Do you think I'm a little boy? - Am I going to worry about you... - or about the diseases I have? - I'm tired and I want to rest You're tired, Pasha? Tired from what? From running after cheap women in the streets and dirty bars? At least think about your age, you shameless man You have one foot in the grave, Zaki Think about God in your last days and you'll be crazy if you think that there is one woman... who can actually like you, you dirty old lecher Open the door, don't let me break it on your head You've dirtied your family history and ruined your father's reputation Open up, I want my diamond ring - What are you doing here so early? - I'm waiting for you I was wrong, Taha but you have to understand The world around me is like a trap, I don't know what I'm saying Give me the engagement ring No Give me the ring, I know you have it Give it to me, don't make like Abdelhalim Hafeth What can I do with your craziness? I have to be patient but it's almost over - Did you look in the mirror? - A little bit... You look great - Pray that I get lucky today - God willing, you'll be lucky You look like an officer already, better even then an officer I should go, I want to catch the busses while they're still empty or else the crowds might mess up the suit No, take a taxi so that you can stay calm and say this prayer in front of the exam committee Say... God, help me overcome all their hurdles and don't forget the two verses seeking refuge in the Lord - Bye - Good bye Come in, Hajj Look, Hajj A'azam, ministers and other higher ranking officials... attend openings of new institutes, come in, Hajj Thanks to God and you and people like you I've become a huge institute but I thought Hajj A'azam must bless it himself You're very dear to me, Za'atar, and I'm happy for you and the children too, may God add to your wealth - What would you like to drink? - We can only drink coffee What coffee? We can drink coffee anytime Suad... - Yes, Mr Selim - Get Hajj A'azam some juice - Yes, sir - Bring it yourself, Suad Of course, Mr Selim In the name of God - Is this your daughter? - My daughter! She's an employee, my daughter is still in prep school In the name of God, she must be your secretary We don't have secretaries and all that, Hajj - Mrs Suad is very energetic - She's a Mrs? And she has a boy about 6 or 7 years old her husband went to work in Iraq, He died there - God rest his soul - I've no idea how he died = Here you go, Hajj A'azam - Thank you very much I'll go make your coffee myself - But with very little sugar - At your service What is it, Hajj? There are pretty faces that give you a feeling of comfort She looks decent You have a high average, Why'd you choose the police academy over other colleges? - To serve my country, sir - Even the engineering graduate... - can serve his country - Of course, sir but if everyone serves in his field, his service will be better Good, what are the characteristics of a good police officer? Discipline, a sense of justice, determination, honor and above all, he must be humane in all his actions What does your father do? He's an employee, sir - An employee or a doorman? - Well, sir... - the doorman is an employee - Thank you, Taha, dismissed Next - Where were you? - With Mr Talal in the storeroom - Doing what? - He was doing an inventory to see what items are low so he can order more Why is everyone looking at both of you like that? Everyone knows we were messing around Relax, it's messing around with our clothes on - With your clothes on? - Yes, with our clothes on he keeps rubbing against me until he starts to shake and shiver and that's all there is to it, and he looks like a duck in heat and he pays ten pounds, is that bad? we're all in the same boat, and your turn will come I don't know why each woman doesn't take a look at herself Saddam Hussein killed many Egyptians It's very possible that he killed the husband of this cute employee I don't like to talk to her about that Why hasn't she gotten married till now? Who's going to marry a poor woman raising a child... and just barely making a living Also, women are all over the place Who's going to marry a widow with a high school degree... and a child to raise? Me But that's Shameful, she's a nobody She's nothing next to you, you're much bigger than that Listen, I know God's commandments to be short... I want a woman to sleep with not a woman I'd inherit or take her salary every month In that case, she'd be very lucky But I have conditions, if they agree to them, we'll do it You lost my diamond ring, you drunken pervert? And then you lie and say that you haven't been to the jeweler's? - Have some respect, Dawlat - Which of us should have respect? Where's the ring? To which piece of trash did you give it? You've disgraced the name of the noblest family in Egypt - Get out of my house? - What do you mean your house? This is my house, the house of Dosouki Pasha Dosouki Pasha whose name you've disgraced You're worse than me At least I did it outside the house but you did it here The number of men who have come here to sleep with you... is more than the members of both the old and new Wafd parties You've totally lost your mind You don't belong here, you belong in the mental hospital Then where do you belong? in the dirty bars, of course, with the punks you've become one of or go stay in the streets, go go after the woman you look for, leave my house Again? This is my house and you're the guest an annoying guest, I can't stand you anymore neither can I, come on, leave I'll make an example of you in front of the tenants Go out What is it? There's nothing serious, a brother and sister quarreling and you know Dwalat, she was always crazy When he takes me in his arms and talks to me softly I see the world through rose colored glasses He tells me words of love words that live forever and that made me important He entered into my heart as a part of happiness and I know the reason why It's him for me and me for him, in this life He said that to me and swore When he takes me in his arms and speaks to me softly I see life through rose colored glasses He tells me words of love words that live forever and that made me important He entered into my heart as a part of happiness and I know the reason why It's him for me and me for him, in life He said that to me and swore When he takes me in his arms Christine, my love the most precious thing in my life Zaki, you don't look well, what's wrong? You always know what I'm feeling without me saying anything You're open just like the television There's a sad show inside of you There's sadness, but without the show It's your destiny, as you say Come, let's sit at the table I had a fight with Dawlat That's not new, you always fight She kicked me out of the house She's crazy, but kind Did you make a big mistake this time? I lost her ring, I'm willing to get her a better ring No, Zaki, that's shameful A woman can forget her lover, her husband, her father but her jewelry, never What if I told you that she's been plotting to kick me out? - To do what with the apartment? - She'll take it for herself - Then what'll she do with it? - She'll give it to her children but when I die, Dawlat will inherit everything - She's my only heiress - She's older than you she can die first and you'll inherit her In that case, her kids will inherit her share I don't know why she's doing that? I don't see things that way at all She's probably calmed down by now, I'll call her... and everything will be fine Don't trouble yourself, I know her well Shall we bet a bottle of "Black Horse"? I'll talk to her It's over Mrs Christine... that subject is over any discussions will not change what happened Yes, but it's his house just as it is yours No, you must understand Zaki, will never enter this apartment again... as long as I live, and even after I die OK, just relax and listen - I don't want to hear anything - Please, for my sake What? Who do you think you are? You're just one of his lovers Don't think that you're something important What? I'm Christine, What are you saying? No, listen... instead of wasting your time with me... go see to your clients, maybe one of them needs something Zaki, you win the bet - Didn't I tell you? - I thought she was only crazy but she's a vulgar bitch and God willing, she'll die before you Good evening Welcome, Mr Hatem, you've lit up the place You've really lit it up with a thousand watt lamp You're a sun and a moon, welcome Aziz, let them bring us everything you think is nice - And the drinks? - Whiskey - And the gentleman? - Whiskey, also - This is my friend Abd Rabbu - Hello, Mr Abd Rabbu - Hello, Pasha - Welcome Aziz, please send me a shot, quickly At your service Come on, we're breaking bread together, eat and drink up You shouldn't have, Pasha I want you to be happy, Abdu, very happy God bless you, Pasha Drink up It doesn't taste good, but it's nice It's nice, sir You know, Abdu... after you have another glass... you'll feel like you want to do nice things very nice things, the nicest thing in the world I know it, sir, but my wife is in our hometown all the way in upper Egypt Does it have to be with your wife? By the way... most women are not very nice - Take your hand off, sir - Calm down Calm down, people are watching us Be normal Abd Rabbu - Abd Rabbu - What? Are you stupid? You want to make a scandal? You know that I can hurt you but hurting people is not in me - Where are you going now? - I'm going to hell! Damn! What your asking me to do is shameful and forbidden - It shakes heaven and earth - OK, enough Just come and spend the night... and leave in the morning Come on What's wrong with the tenants? There are no more manners... and people are not responsible Why doesn't everyone make sure he closes the lift door? This is disgusting Hello, Mr Hatem... these tenants are unbelievable Someone went up in the lift and left the door open Who's this? Zaki Pasha, irresponsibility is normal these days I know... who's this? - He's with me - Oh, he's with you but he's strong... he's with you Why don't you go up and bring the lift down? - When Mr Hatem tells me to - Oh, when he tells you to Tell him to go bring the lift down Don't worry, nothing will happen to him Enough, Pasha - Go up, Abd Rabbu - Go up, Abd Rabbu Wow! Did you see him? He went up so fast, He ran up He's like a tiger He's very strong You're a decent guy and you deserve good things You'll have a nice night, Mr Hatem That's how nights are, they are nice to some people... and crappy to others Come in Are you shy? Is that man a real Pasha or a fake one? No, his father was a real Pasha and became minister a couple of times in the past - What does he do? - Nothing He lives off of some properties he inherited, always been a loser A relic, like you just saw He's a drunken freak and a lecher He's not a relic, he's a piece of junk OK, make yourself at home, I won't be late Come in Thank you, sir You can't sleep in those clothes Here I'm not used to sleeping early but if you want to, go ahead, there's another room inside No need, after you go to bed, I'll sleep here on the floor I'm used to that - Drink up, Abdu - Is this "carcareh"? What, "carcareh"? Try it and you'll know it's not "carcareh" it's the same color as "carcareh" You said you'll finish your duty after 2 months, right? Yes, sir - What will you do afterwards? - I'll go back to my hometown It's the first time I see someone come to Cairo... and then go back to his hometown What can I do? In order to get a job here... - I need someone with clout - I'm that someone May God bring you happiness But like I told you... I live alone, as you see Abdu, I have taken an oath to make others happy but who's the person who deserves that? Drink up Drink up You want to watch something nice on TV? You know what, I'm stuck. I have to shave this down. You don't have to go the extra mile. That's what I'm trying to tell you. What happened to the days when you used to listen to me? That was a long time ago. You should listen to me. Not in this lifetime. Listen, Newbie, you're not a completely, terribly, horrible, incompetent doctor. While I would never let any blood relatives be your patient, if it was someone that I knew, an acquaintance, I might be OK with you treating them. Thank you. The only thing you owe Carol is to treat her the best you can. Hey, where you been? Oh, Larry, man. I don't think I can shave my head. What about Carol? She'll be OK. She has all you guys. - You look over there. - Mm-hm. Excuse me, nurse. Hi! How 'bout a poke? I have a husband, OK? And he's big and he's black and... Baby, baby, it's me! But I do love that you go to that big and black stuff. I can't wait to bear the fruit of your loins. Baby, wait! This is the only way I can suck up to Kelso without the surgeons knowing. There you are. - You're not Mr. Sommer. - No, I'm not. No harm done. What's up... with y'all? [Turk] Ahh! Hey, Dr. Turk. What happened to you? I found the latest issue at a comic book store a mile and a half away. Here you go. Actually, I ran there in a foam needle suit, but you don't care. Thanks, Dr. Turk. Christopher, I heard you were sweating the rankings. No. I'm married and trying to have a baby. Not having a job would be a big boost for me. You're a good surgeon. Plus, your bedside manner is really important. There's no one on that list who spends more time with their patients. Are you saying I have a job? If you are trying to "Kelly Ripa" me right now, I will freak out. I got a job! Well, the good news is, his head isn't in the storage room. I once found a head. It's a funny story. I put it in my locker. I didn't have time to get to Lost and Found, forgot all about it. Come back to work on Monday, open my locker, whoa! Head! Plus rats! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I grabbed the thing and ran up to the roof, punt it, and I shank it wide-left. It's heading straight down, right for Kelso sitting in his convertible. I'm done. I'm out of a job, right? Wrong. At that second, a hawk flies in, grabs the thing and flies off with it. I know what you're thinking. We're in a city. What's a hawk doing there? I can't believe you get a locker and I don't. Dr. Reid, I need to meet you in Radiology to go over some test results. Yeah, it's over, Ricky. I know you're stealing trays. Stop it. Buzz off. Carla, the orderly lost my chart for Mr. Tyler in 406. Would we have his dosages? You put him on penicillin, but he was allergic, so you put him on vancomycin. Thank you. Wish you put some of that crazy-nurse memory to use on our missing dude. Well, he was an older guy and he was on an IV, so he couldn't have gotten very far. He was jittery and he had this weird circle tan line on his arm. It was the nicotine patch. He was trying to quit smoking. Should I not be out here? There he is, Mr. Spot on His Lungs. Don't worry, we'll pop that lung out, get it to the dry cleaners and have it back to you after five. We like to have fun. I made up that whole hawk story. Yeah. I know you're not as weird as you want people to think you are. [Clangs] [# Tammany Hall NYC: Someone] Whoa! Nana! How you doing? Looking hot in the tracksuit. Gym's on the second floor. [J.D.] Date time. Dude. There you are. Two things. First, aliens are here wearing tracksuits. - Oh, no, that's Nana. - Second... I got a job. - Nice. - If you hadn't pushed me to do that extra mile stuff, that wouldn't have happened, so thank you. You got a hottie waiting for you at the bar. You go get her! - Where were we? - Do I smell banana conditioner? That's one of my conditioners, yes. [J.D.] As great as this was, I couldn't stop thinking about what Turk said... This girl really digs hair. It's hard getting what happens at the hospital out of your head. Ah! How was your first stress-free day? Horrible. You? Worse. Let's make a baby. If it doesn't work this time, I'll kill myself. Not helping with the stress. [J.D.] I knew if I didn't leave that bar and go back, I'd never be able to enjoy any of the simple things, even a woman eating my former bangs. Voilà. [Cheering] See, that's the thing about being an extra mile guy. You never know who it's gonna rub off on. "Sister Blanche, I've got a little birthday remembrance for you." [High pitched Southern accent] "Oh, have you, Stanley? I wasn't expecting any." - "I hope you like it." - Aw... - You're hating this, aren't you? - No, that's not it at all. I don't believe for a second that you really want me to leave. You gotta feel it, Lyle. Get involved. What do you people say? Let's take it from the top? "Sister Blanche, I've got a little birthday remembrance for you." Again. Do it with some force. Okay, honey, finish up. We've gotta get to school. - Mom? - Yeah. Does this map look like Portugal? I have no idea. But nobody knows what Portugal looks like. I mean, even the Portuguese think they live in Spain. Sorry I'm late. This is all I could find. It's port wine. From Portugal. Wine? You were supposed to get decorations for the class. Sorry. I tried to go this morning but there was this huge line at Portuguese Party City. - Really? - No. There's no Portuguese Party City. There's no Portuguese anything. How'd we end up with Portugal? I was working during the sign up. By the time I got there, the only country left was Portugal. There's a Portuguese family in the class and even they picked Jamaica. Ritchie, come on. We're late, we're late. - I don't wanna be late for this thing. - What should I wear? We're supposed to dress like our country. Oh. Well, wear anything. Stand next to the kid dressed as Spain. - Everyone will buy it. - Okay. You think they eat Raisin Bran in Portugal? Yes, but in Portugal, they call it... [PORTUGUESE ACCENT] ...Raisin Bran. [CHRISTINE GRO ANS] - I don't wanna do this. - Well, why'd you sign up for it? Oh, Richard, you don't know this school. They've got a million events a week and you gotta volunteer and if you don't, they ostracize you. I'm telling you, those moms are scary, snobby and judgmental. And you're not judgmental? Hey, it's not called judgmental when you're right. It's called right. I mean, I know Ritchie likes it there, but, God, I wish I fit in better, you know? Is this Portuguese? Hold this. Yeah, it's close enough. Let's go. Give me a hug. Quick, big hug. Ooh. - Adios, or whatever. - Yeah. - Okay. Oh. Your map of Portugal. - Map of Portugal. Right. - There you go. - Yeah. Play nice. You too, Ritchie. Ah. Portugal. Jewel of Iberia. Largest producer of cork in the world... And that's all I know about Portugal. And yet, you still might be the world's foremost authority. All right, I'm gonna get going. I'll see you later. All right. Whatever. Something the matter? The minute the two of us are alone, you can't wait to get out of here. That's not true. The other day, we had that long conversation about stamps. About how the price always goes up, but never goes down. - Did you wanna revisit that? - You know what I'm talking about. You and Christine got divorced and it's kind of like we did too. But, whatever. I guess I'm the jerk for even caring. - Are you serious? - No, forget I said anything. I guess I'm the ass for bringing it up. Okay, okay. You know what? I'm sorry. You're right. I guess things have changed. Um, look, I've got errands, and then later I'm taking Ritchie to the batting cages. You're welcome to come along if you want. - We could spend the day together? - Yeah, it'll be fun. We'll grab burgers, go to the batting cages, anything you want. - That'll be great, Dad. - Did you just...? - No. - Good. [SIGHS] CHRISTINE: Good morning, ladies. Or should I say bonjour and... [ENGLISH ACCENT] ...hello? - Oh, good, Portugal's here. - We saved that wall for you, Christine. Oh, great. Oh, I get the whole wall. Okay. Just set up. [CLEARS THRO AT] [CLEARS THRO AT] Exports. Imports. Portugal. Yeah, you know, Christine, you don't have to stay. I'm sure you have a shift to run off to or something. Oh, no, no, no, I don't work shifts, Marly. I assign shifts to people, because I'm the boss. I have a corporate credit card. I've got 35 points accumulated. Two thousand more, I get a flashlight radio. [LAUGHING] [CLEARS THRO AT] So you wanna open up the bottle of port? Heh. It's 8:30 in the morning. Oh. - You don't have any vodka, do you? - Yeah, where's Russia? [LAUGHING] You know what would help? If you could set out the plates for the international feast. Oh, sure. So, I have this new guy cooking for us. He can do anything, Zone, South Beach, Atkins. He's fantastic. And he's cheap. - How much? - Oh, I don't know. [LAUGHING] Oh, shoot, I didn't bring enough double-stick tape. Could you run down to the storage room and grab me some more? Me? Yeah, I'd go myself, but I have nice shoes on. Oh, nice shoes. Yeah, I wouldn't know about that. I get all my shoes at the car wash. She works at a car wash? - Yeah. - Mm. [GRO ANS] God, my shoes are nice. I spent $40 on these shoes. - Oh, God, I hate those women. - Which women? All women. I mean, it's enough with them already, right? You wouldn't happen to be talking about those meanie moms? I'm sorry, I can't afford a personal chef. I don't have time to take a three-hour yoga class. I work. Women are allowed to work. It doesn't make them bad people or bad mothers. Exactly. I work. Oh, my God. You're the first woman I've met at this school with a job. - There was another one in the fourth grade. - Really? But they got to her. They reprogrammed her at Nordstrom's. [LAUGHING] - I love you. - Oh! I love you too. Where are we going with this? No, I'm sorry. - I just get excited. I'm Christine. - Oh, Belinda. - Oh. So nice. - Nice to meet you. Oh. Well, I better go, otherwise I'll get in trouble. Sent me to fetch sticky tape. Why don't you come have a cup of coffee with me instead? - Really? - Yeah, blow them off. Yeah. Yeah. Why am I running errands for them? They treat me like crap. They even stuck me with the suckiest country. Portugal. Yeah, I'm Portuguese. Well, here's the thing. I hate the country, love the people. [LAUGHING] - So you still wanna have coffee? - Absolutely. Oh, great. Okay, I really will stop gushing in a minute. But when we walked out into that parking lot and I saw that you drive a Prius too... [LAUGHS] - I almost wept. - I know. I'm not alone anymore. Oh! I didn't ask you, though. Are you married, or? Mm. Divorced. Are you kidding me? That's fantastic! My marriage was a miserable failure too. No. No, actually we're still really good friends. Yes. I'm still really good friends with my ex-husband. - You're kidding. - No, I am not. - We are the exact same person. - I know. Let me ask you something. Do you ever let your armpit hair grow out just to see how long it'll get? Eww. No. Do you? No. - That's gross. - It's gross. Totally. Listen, I really do have to say that I never, ever thought I would fit in anywhere in that school, and I'm just so happy to have met you. Christine? What are you doing here? I'm having coffee with my new friend, Marly. What in the hell are you doing here? This is my house. And your friend is my housekeeper. You did great out there today, man. Your swing is really coming along. I didn't hit the ball once. No, but the ball didn't hit you either, so we're doing better than last time, huh? - Let's get washed up for dinner, slugger. - Thanks, Dad. - You did great. - Thanks, Uncle Matthew. - I'm serious, you did great. - Thanks. Really great. I'm proud of you, pal. God, why can't he be better at baseball? Or at least stop using the bat as a dance partner. [DOOR OPENS] [SIGHS] Bad day? I made a new friend. I finally met someone at this school that I connect with, and she's Marly's maid. A maid? Oh, dear. And she has the audacity to hobnob with a wealthy industrialist like you? Don't tell the Vanderploots, they'll kick us out of the club. Richard, you know what I mean. It was just a... It was a surprise. I mean, we had so much stuff in common. Yeah. You vacuumed once, didn't you? Yeah, it was a long time ago. She borrowed the Flintstones' vacuum. It was an elephant on a stick. - Yeah. - You know what? You guys should talk. I've been in both of your bathrooms. It's like a poodle lives under your toilet. Okay, look, sorry. We're just trying to understand what the issue is. There is no issue. And you know damn well what the issue is. I am not a snob. I don't care about anything except what's in a person's heart. To me, she's just a person. A very nice Portuguese person. - That is a weird coincidence. - I know. I mean, you don't hear about Portugal for, like, what, 30 years? - And suddenly, you can't get away from it. - Yeah. Wait, you don't wanna be friends because she's a maid? No, I have to be friends with her. You're gonna be friends with her because she's a maid? No, I wanna be friends. I like her. Okay, so good. You could use a friend. Especially one who cleans. Hey, maybe you could make a second friend who cooks. I haven't had a homemade meal in, like, a year and a half. I'm gonna go change for dinner. Wait a minute, why are you here? I took Ritchie and Matthew to the batting cages. He's been feeling neglected since the divorce. - Ritchie? - No, surprisingly, Matthew. - He almost hit the ball, though. - Matthew? No, surprisingly, Ritchie. Well, I just have to finish this ironing, and then we can take off. Okay, well, take your time. This is nice. I love a basement bedroom. This is where you wanna be during a tornado. [KNOCK ON DOOR] Belinda, I... Oh. Sorry, I didn't know you were entertaining. - Hello, Christine. - Hello. Uh, the book club is here, so if you could set the food out, that'd be great. And, uh, you girls can help yourselves to a couple of sandwiches. Just a couple. Heh. - Oh, thank you. Thank you. - Thank you. Sorry. She has this book club. It's a couple of ladies from the school. - My school? - Yeah. They sit and pretend they read, but mostly it's just gossip. Hey, if you help me, we can get out of here really quick. - Help you? - We just need set out some sandwiches. Oh, uh... Boy, I just... I don't know how much of a help I would be. You know, I... I once worked for two weeks at McDonald's and I accidentally gave away the secret to the secret sauce. It's ketchup and mayonnaise, by the way. Christine, are you embarrassed by what I do? No. I'm not embarrassed at all. But I mean, why didn't you tell me you were Marly's housekeeper? I'm sorry, should I have said: "Before you get too attached to me, you should know I'm a housekeeper"? Well, you came right out with the Portuguese thing. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. No, I... I don't care what you do. I am not like one of them. Great, then help me so we can get out of here. Okay. I'll... I'll help you. I'm excited. - Okay. - Okay. Uh, just grab a couple of bottles of chardonnay. I'll get the sandwiches. - These bottles? BELINDA: Yeah. - Christine, hi. - Hi. Um... - I thought we didn't invite... - We didn't. She's here with Belinda. - But I thought you fired... - I didn't. Hi. I'm just helping out. I'm a parent at Westbridge too. Actually, our kids are in the same class. Oh, The Kite Runner. Oh. What a great book. The writing is super lyrical. Oh, not that chardonnay. Uh, could you see if there's any more Stags' Leap? - Uh, I'd have a Merlot. - Oh, I'll have Merlot too. Would you see if there's any bubble water in the fridge? Yes. For you, a thousand times, yes. Thank you. No, that's a line, um, uh, from the book. It's a... It's the famous line from... I'll be right back with your order. Belinda, I hope you don't mind, but I'm gonna head home. - We can just hang out another time. - Oh, no, don't. I know this is weird for you but if you just help me out, we'll get out of here quickly. - I don't think I can... - Christine, please. Marly is just... She's looking for an excuse to fire me. And I really need this job, so please, please help me out. - Ugh. Okay, I'll help you out. - Thank you. Uh-oh. Who let the hens out? [WOMEN LAUGHING] Charles, honey, what are you doing here? I have my book club meeting, remember? Oh, don't worry, I'll clear out. Let you ladies do your reading and drinking. [LAUGHING] Thank you, darling. So, what did everybody think about the book? - Lindsay? - Oh, yeah. It was amazing. - You didn't read it, did you? - I had a rough week. Jackson was sick and Kelsey came home crying. There's another Kelsey in her class and now they call my daughter "Big Kelsey." Lindsay, no kid talk. We get enough of that when the nannies take a break. - Let's talk about the book. - Well, I loved it. You know what else I love? Hummus. Couldn't stop thinking about it when they described the Middle Eastern-y part. Oh. Hummus. Fun idea. Belinda. Christine, where's Belinda? Uh, I guess she stepped away. Ugh. I am gonna have to let that girl go. Oh, but I'm sure she's coming right back. - Is there anything I can do to help? - We need hummus. - And sangria. - Ooh, that sounds good. Oh, that does sound good. And roasted red peppers. Oh, me make it. Right. Belinda, are you in there? I need you. Christine, for God's sake, I asked for that sangria a week ago. - Where's Belinda? - Oh, she's not feeling well. She's lying down. Probably. By now. God, that girl. Is this whole house falling apart? [SIGHS] Oh! Christine, what are you...? Get off of me. Just forget the sangria. Bring some wine. Uh, Marly. You know, I don't work for you. And I quit. What? You know, I have been such a good sport up until now. But, I mean, I'm getting really tired of you and your friends looking down on me. Why would we look down on you? Since you came to this school the only person you've had something in common with is my maid. You know, uh, I could say something right now that would really hurt you too. But I'm not gonna do that. Because I'm a much nicer person than that. You're too tan. You know what would be great? If you could stop judging me for, like, a minute and give me a break. Me judging you? Yeah, look, you've got it easy, okay? You don't care what people think about you. You don't try to impress people with your car or your marriage. Your clothes. I mean, you cut your own hair. I don't cut my own hair. This cost 60 bucks. Okay, you don't spend a lot of money on your hair. The point is you seem very comfortable with yourself. And that, you know, makes me uncomfortable. [SCOFFS] Well, just because I'm comfortable with myself doesn't mean I don't wanna fit in. - What, you wanna fit in with us? - Yeah. I mean, you guys could try and be a little nicer to me at school. - Okay, well, we could try. - Thank you. - Okay. Good. - Okay. Good. - This is good. - This is good. This is a tip for you. A tip? No, Marly, that's not... Oh, a hundred bucks? Whoa, thank you. Somebody's getting a haircut. And a new pair of shoes. I'm not looking, I'm not looking. I just wanna get my purse. I don't wanna see anything, or, God forbid, touch anything. It's okay, he's gone. Ah. Well, I am leaving. I wanna thank you for a particularly humiliating afternoon. - Are you mad at me? - Mad at you? No, that was great. I don't know, which part was my favorite? Serving drinks to the meanie moms or watching Marly's husband massage your gums with his tongue? I know, I'm sorry. I should have locked the door. Yeah. That's pretty much the only thing that was wrong with it. You know, I'm not Marly's biggest fan, but she really doesn't deserve this. Yeah, I know. It's wrong, it's wrong. But I hope that you and I can still be friends. Yeah, I don't think so. Why? Because I'm Portuguese? Because I'm a maid? Uh, no. It's because, well you're kind of a whore. - So, what's up for tomorrow? - Well, we should definitely get together. I could swing by, maybe we'll catch a movie. Great. - I don't want to. - Oh, thank God. When you were married, we spent about three and a half hours alone together. - And that was over 15 years. - That seemed about the right amount. So I'll see you around. Maybe we can do something next spring. - That would be great, Dad. - What? - Bye. - Bye. [ENGLISH SDH] Presented and produced by MK Pictures Where can we find a lot of humans? It doesn't look tasty. THE FOX FAMILY Today at 7 PM, not far from the scene where a woman was axed... - Sir! - You did it, before. Nobody can come here, and don't touch anything. Since we came down too soon without adapting to humans, there was a slight mistake earlier. In one month, it will finally be the 1000th year. A month will be enough, right? We came down too early. Yeah, we've already prepared for 1000 years. When the sun and the moon meet, and the four pillars of the year, month, day, and time join together... 30 minutes. When the sun and the moon align as one for those 30 minutes, our fate will be decided. Our chance only comes... Only once. If you fail... There will never be another chance. Never forget that! Planned to say that, right? But you said a bunch of humans will come if we perform a circus. Yeah, and only kids came. Disappointed that you can't mate? What's the use if only kids come? They all run away. To catch and eat humans, we need to be more active and bold. Isn't that the way to look for humans? You're too passive. You son of bitch! Darling, ever since you passed away, I've tried hard to make real people out of our kids. Why'd you leave me in such a hurry? # Now is the beginning # Everything will turn out fine # We will leave all our sorrows behind - # We will finally become humans - Darling # We won't be mocked # as monsters any more # And not be cast # in horror movies any more # Before a thousand years have come # Bring a human each for you to eat # You # Target men who wander alone # in the street at night # As sexy as possible # As sexy as possible # You # Target girls who feel lonely # Girls who live alone # As flirtatious as possible # As flirtatious as possible # You I'll take care of everything for you, so not doing anything is helping me. # Tempt stupid humans # As sexy as possible # Make them go crazy over me # Tempting stupid humans Oh my. - Don't you remember me? - Sorry? - Who are you? - I have a feeling we've met before. That's strange. Your face is very familiar to me. Your hometown is down south, right? No, my hometown is here. Here? What the hell is he doing? Is he a waiter here? What's wrong with him? Oh my goodness, what are you doing? Hey! How many are in your family? I have four. If you also have four, we're a perfect match. You pervert! Dad, help me. Me? Not me. So you're with him? - With him? Who? I? - Come here. - I'm gonna kill you today. - don't know him! It goes down really smooth. Sorry, it's just that you eat so beautifully. I haven't seen anyone eat ramen noodles as sexy as you do. Actually, I'm a writer. So whenever I see anything beautiful I can't let it pass. I'm sort of a workaholic. I want to eat it. 'I want to eat ramen.' That's the title. I suddenly got that poetic vibe. Pink tiny glamorous lips Like blooming nipples Slightly open Your tongue that's like a shell's flesh Accepts without any reservations Those erected noodles The noodles slide into such a long and deep tunnel Noodles I want to eat them, too. I'm gonna eat! Hold on. Motel You shouldn't hang such a thing here. It's my favorite, so it should be beside me. Oh, my! Oh goodness. Where are you running off to? You won't get far in a motel room. Well, my business isn't doing so well lately. Business, my butt. You call hidden cameras a business? Wait, so you recorded me with a hidden camera? - Is that it? - No, I didn't. I told you to pay up last week. Give me a few days, and I promise I'll pay. - You rotten bastard! - What? You said you're a poet. Where's your camera? Hand it over now! What camera? No, there's a camera, but you saw already. It was covered, so nothing got recorded. - Shut up! - Put on your underwear. You're not wearing anything. It's embarrassing so hurry. - Shut up! - Right, shut up. I said if you don't pay me back, I'll cut off your thingy, right? I remember. Mommy! Morons. Put on your panty, honey! Stop, you bastard! You're dead if I catch you! This way! Dumb bastards. Hurry up and follow me! Bastards, I wish I had the money to pay you back. I couldn't record anything this month. This absolutely sucks. What is it? Why is here so dark? # Sometimes I have this dream # About someone holding me tightly # A dream about a kiss # But when I wake up I'm always alone # Then I can't fall sleep again # because of loneliness # After tumbling the whole night # I see the morning # Ah, how wonderful it would be # If it wasn't a dream # Instead, I wish # I could never wake up from my dream # I miss a man's arms # I miss a male's scent Doctor? Treating a sick heart is my specialty. Whenever I see a sick person, I can't just let it pass. I'm sort of a workaholic. So you're a pro. You can put it that way. Now, let me examine you first. Sickness in the heart means that the left ventricular heart has a problem. To put it into exact terms, going down from the collarbone, passing by the diaphragm, meeting the third nerve cell. Here. How do you feel? I feel hot all over. I knew it. - What happened? - It's gotten hard, you see. Am I going to die? You won't. Then what shall I do? I should set it free. It'll get serious if you hold it in. Wait! Since when have humans become so scary? You said it would be a piece of cake. You're the one who always said that, not me. So then? Are you trying to point fingers now? How dare you speak to me that way? Damn it! I got you! Damn it! How dare you strangle your father... Dad! - Dad? - What? Sir, I didn't intend on this. I didn't mean to do this. She suddenly attacked me. I'm the victim here. Wipe your mouth. So you didn't mean to? Who took off your pants? I didn't go near her at all! - Please believe me! - Shut up! Have a good time. Sorry? Am I allowed? Sure. You can even have her for a month. Hurry on. Wait! Make him feel at home. - Yes! - Hey, hey! Sir! A month? What am I supposed to do for a month? What the hell's this? What the? Is she crazy to get married? What the hell's going on today? Excuse me? Hello? She's so good. She takes after her mom for making men go crazy. While citizens are in a state of fear, policed discovered the identity of the axed woman found near Nam Mountain yesterday. Police said the 25 year-old victim worked at a drinking establishment, and presumed that the brutal murder was enacted out of revenge. The police are investigating bars near the Nam Mountain area. What's that? I'm going to eat it after I raise it. You should've picked a tastier one. What the hell is she? - What's going on? - What's wrong? Mister, big problem! Your daughter's face came out like this. Catch him! You bitch! It's me. Dad. I'm sorry. I got him! Excuse me. Please let me live. You know we're foxes now, so we can't let you live. Foxes? Dad, why'd you go on and tell him? You've got such a big mouth. Shut up. He's going to die anyway, so who cares if he knows. Wait. Can't we let him live until that day? I know you're a bit reluctant, but if we let him live it could spell trouble later. Sorry, I know it's a waste. Where should we start chopping? Mutant Girl Dismembered Woman Knife Man Kumiho Circus Troupe Who are you? I can't see very well. Shall I read for you? I'm a cop. Pardon? How can I help you? This fabric isn't so fire resistant. They're my family. My blood. We have to practice thoroughly before the performance. One tiny mistake leads to a break in the neck and... She's my eldest daughter. The kid is my youngest. My son is on the top. And the one below is my son-in-law. Son-in-law? What can I do to help you? From now on, just answer yes or no. No explanations, no short answers, no multiple choices. Hasn't been that long since this circus opened, right? Early this month it... Answer yes or no. No. It hasn't been long, I see. So about 4 weeks? Well, not that long. Yes or no! No. - About 3 weeks? - No. - 2 weeks? - No. - A week? - Sorry? A week? Yes, that's right. It strangely matches. What does? Cute. What breed is your dog? You see, her appetite for dogs... I mean, her attachment to dogs is strong. She hates it when others get near her food. He's a half-breed. We're raising him for the summer. I'll be going now. Do you mime as well? I'm sure the murderer is one of them. - Wait! Wait please! - You foolish kid! Please stop! You can't kill me now. Why not? That detective. He's suspicious of you all. Suspicious? He's noticed that you all are foxes. What? How do you know that? By what evidence? Yeah, he's lying. I'm not lying. Please listen to me. That guy who was just here. He's a special cop trained to track down foxes. Special cop? Didn't you watch that documentary on TV? Everyone knows after watching that. We have no time to watch TV. Wait, wait! There's a way that the special cop tracks down foxes. He was testing you before. The 'yes or no' thing. That's exactly his method. Yeah, I was really confused before. You're dead! Will we eat him or not? - What? - Let's eat him after we talk. My sweety, be patient. - Now, keep going. - According to America's MK report, the number of foxes pretending to be human came out to 3,824,790.5 across the globe. What's the 0.5 for? Did I say that? Well, that one's a mixed blood. So they organized the F.T.B.H. The Fox-To-Become-Human secret community. They kill people at will. That's nonsense. We don't kill anyone at will. Since we have to eat human liver on the 1000th year to become human, we don't kill anyone beforehand. Right! Rumors are always exaggerated anyway. Anyway, if you kill me now, you will be arrested by the police who are waiting to find evidence. Fox fur coats sold like hot cakes on the home shopping channel the other day, you know. - Fur coats? - Fur coats? So what I'm trying to say is that let's not cause any trouble. Since you're planning to kill, how about doing it on the 1000th year? I'd be glad to do a good deed before I die. And another thing. You need three more livers, right? We do indeed. Okay, I will be responsible to find the rest for you all. I'm very talented at conning people, you know. Circus performers wanted! University graduate required! Born after 1980 required! Completed military service required! All these things we don't care about at all! # Appearance, family background, # education, age # It doesn't matter # Gay, ex-convict, illegal alien, # it really doesn't matter # We don't even care # if you can't join a circus # We offer three meals and a warm bed # Looking for a circus performer # who's like family # Looking for a circus performer # who's like family # Looking for a circus performer # who's like family # Looking for a circus performer # who's like family # Looking for a circus performer # who's like family Circus Performers Wanted # Looking for a circus performer # who's like family # Someone who has nowhere to go # and nothing to own # Come together and join the circus # Come together and join the circus # Free meals and bed, just like home # To top it all off, a generous leader # Someone who wants to be like family # We welcome anyone with open arms # Join our circus troupe # Looking for a new circus performer Well, we didn't need to go through a lengthy interview. Anyway, we need one more. Darling! I have no parents, no job, no home, no money, no education, no skills. All I have is a disease. And everyone ignores me. My fiancé even dumped me. I'm so sorry. But I tried hard to survive. For her. No, for this country and society! To be a helpful person. Like Wonder Woman! Wonder Woman? She's my only friend and idol. She must be pretty, right? All men are only crazy about pretty girls. I wish all pretty things would die. Even the fishes in the river would run away from your ugly face. You die instead, you wench. Hello? I can't tell you right now. I'll explain when we meet later. Well, I caught a big fish this time. I know you don't believe me, but this is a really big catch. No, I'm not playing games. Shut up! Tell me where you are! Damn it. I'm in a fox's den! So what! Whether I'm killed by a fox, or get rich off of their pictures, you'll never kill me, so don't call me again! Honey. I'm hanging up, you bastard. I'm risking my life for this. Live or die. Turn into a fox! Honey, please change! - What? - Turn into a fox! - You don't change when you do this? - No. You're still the best! Welcome! Tickets are sold here! Hey, they didn't buy any tickets. Dad, what's with all these people? It's a sign that everything will be alright. The cop. Welcome. May I help you? I came to see a circus performance. You came to the right place. Do you know her? Who is she? No, I don't know her. - Is that so? - Yes. Who is she anyway? A dead woman. She was found axed near Nam Mountain here. It's hard to imagine that a person would ax her so horribly. Totally sliced up. Let him in. He's free. Maybe he knows about our style, our real identity. What shall we do? He suspects that we killed her. By any chance, did you two do it? No, I didn't! If you said no, then it's no. Keep cool. Don't be nervous. You're the one who's nervous. No, it's hereditary. I need to pee. Ladies and gentlemen, next you will see our amazing vanishing show! This beautiful girl will completely vanish in front of your very eyes. Then she will appear behind that curtain like magic! Soon, this girl will... Look over here everyone! While that gentleman gets covered with blood, in this box... What bastard bent this wire, damn it? Tada! The vanished beauty will appear over there! - Where's Miss Hwang? - I don't know! Come grab her! Are you her family? Yes, we are. She doesn't have much left to live. Please prepare yourselves. Doctor. And this isn't the first time. If she doesn't get regular treatment, she will attempt suicide again. And Hong Jin-chul has many problems, such as his lungs and kidney. It's a miracle that he's even still alive. He calls himself a doctor? - Damn it. - What? Recruit circus performers? How about setting up a funeral home? We're all being punished by God because you all have no faith. I always asked you to go to church, but you all never listened to me. No need for it all! It's over! What can we do with dying people? They need to be alive at least if we're going to eat them or not. The game's over if they die beforehand. Since when have you gotten so smart? You got it all down, don't you? I'm not as dumb as you think. I thought you were a complete bonehead. I'm glad that you realize I'm not. Anyway, I could die earlier than I expected because of you all. Living a 1000 years is enough. What, you bastard? How dare you talk back to me. Stop it please! There's still 15 days left. It's not late to find more. How can we look again in these circumstances? We're even murder suspects. Yeah, I told you not to come down. You said something right for once. Instead of being caught here and get turned into fur coats, let's go back into the mountain, dad. How could you say such a thing? A spell has given us a temporary human form. But if we fail that day, we live as a fox forever. Do you know that? The pain of having to eat raw meat. The pain of having to take a dump without toilet paper. Ouch, it's rough! Oh my God! Since we have only one life to live, I want to live on two human feet even if it's a short life. - It's all your fault! - Wait. All they need to do is stay alive until that day, right? How will you keep them alive? We can't afford to pay the medical bills. And the circus is doing bad. How can we keep them alive? Let me go. Hey, let him go. Okay, tell me. Do you have any ideas? Make money. Make money? There is nothing we can't do with money. You mean cold-hard cash? She's our new girl. The tail dance is her specialty. Hello, I'm Miss Fox. # We need money to live in this world # You can't live without money # in the human world # People want to make money # Everyone is crazy about money # To live as humans, what you need is... # Money # Money # To become human, what you need is... # Money # Money # In the human world # Whatever you say # Money is the best # Making money # Make money # Make money # Making money # Make money # Make money What the hell am I doing? I'm too good for this. Miss Fox! Miss Fox! # But making money isn't easy # So many factors required # Education, experience # Qualifications, network # But people without any of these # Use whatever strength they have # In the human world # Whatever you say Money is the best # Making money # Make money Make money # Making money # Make money Make money Next! I'm very sorry. Today is his first day. He thought that was a stain. Damn it, does that make sense? - Hey, you! - Yeah? I'm going to poke your eyes out! I must've scrubbed too hard. Let's have a look. Now, a family of foxes will finally be shown to the world. Think about your parents who bore you. You're right. Why did they make me like this? What did they make you into? I have to die! I must die! It's hot! Granny! You can't die now! Not yet! The Fox Family starts their day by making medicine. This generous family takes in people abandoned by their loved ones. While taking care of them, their day goes by so quickly. But they are so happy to do it. Is this what a real family is? Please give all our family much love and peace. May their body and spirit be healthy. Until the sun and moon meet on our 1000th year. Oh Jesus, Oh Buddha. Damn it, are they foxes or what? The city is terrified over the Nam Mountain serial killings. Since the victims were prostitutes, the police suspect the same murderer, and have focused their inspection in the Nam Mountain area. Police are questioning the victims' acquaintances, and are expanding their investigation. Jung Ki-ho, reporting from Nam Mountain. Sure you didn't do it? I didn't. - Then who? - I don't know. Are you sure? - You did it, didn't you? - Don't! Why would I kill them? I asked if you took my cellphone. We will see a lunar eclipse within the next weeks. The weather bureau reported that this will be the biggest... This is my food. Where have you been? You scared me. Have something on your mind lately? I understand that kids your age want to hold on to a secret. Your father understands, okay? Thanks. All I want to give you is one advice. Whatever you've eaten until now, whether it be raw or boiled, if you want to eat something from now on, you can't lick your chops, I mean, you can't eat it. - Understand? - Don't wake me up. Can you breathe in there? Where can I hide it this time? You've worked too hard. Who's there? Surprise! Happy birthday! I knew it was your birthday, so I wanted to surprise you. Was it too surprising? Ki-dong! Ki-dong! # You came to me in silence # And made a hole in my heart # I know now # That love Is sweeter than blood # We are so different # But what links us # Is only love # What we've never felt before # Our sensuous love # This strange but precious feeling # If we could cherish it forever # If we could freeze this moment # How happy we would be # How happy we would be No matter how much I try nothing makes me happy lately. Nothing is working out. My kids only make things harder for me. And that day is coming soon. This looks very bad. Want a head massage? If you put some toothpaste here and beat it with a brush, then hair will come out. It'll be 3,000 Won extra, so how about it? - Mr. Fox! - Yeah. Phone! Hello? Miss Hwang left, saying she'll - What? - throw herself into the river! What? Hey, it's dangerous, don't do that! Don't get close to me! If you do, I'll jump! Miss. Please move away from there. - What the hell are you doing? - Let go of me. Will you be responsible if she jumps? Don't come close! What's the problem this time? No one loves an ugly girl like me. I have to die! I understand how you feel. But how could you throw your beautiful body into such a sewage-infested river? But you put me into a box and humiliated me. I wanted to start a new life in the circus. All I do is eat and sleep, so I've gained weight. Look, do you know how many people envy you? Why? Because you're human. Being human is a special right. You know how many things try so hard to be human? A werewolf. A vampire. And that's not all. Even foxes. Yes, even foxes. In order to be human, they've withstood other's mockery, being called a goblin or monster. They've endure so much for a long time, almost 1000 years. But you're giving up your humanity merely because of your appearance? You know how precious your life is? And you have one thing you have left to do. You need to fall in love before you die, right? Listen carefully. Just being alive at least makes you a precious person. The fox family saved the person who tried to kill herself. Tomorrow, they're gonna close the circus and start their new life. Find out who the victim's boyfriend is? Not yet. What the hell is that idiot doing? I told you not to touch my food! Well done, everyone. Finally, that day is coming tonight. As soon as the party starts, we go right into action. Since we have only 30 minutes, let's not waste any time and finish it off. Our dreary days are over. Everyone, I'm so sad that we have to suddenly part now. You bastards, planning to go to a good place without me? Let's have a big farewell party instead. Granny, they're sending us to a better place. A better place? To heaven? Are you crying? You know I made a promise to your mom. Whatever happens I will be responsible for all of you to be reincarnated as humans. Your mom said that she would cheer us on from the heavens. Gosh, you're such a cry baby. Having to kill them now after barely keeping them alive makes me feel a bit sad. Let's kill them as gently as possible. You're so despicably kind. Dad, stop pretending to be nice and stop crying. # To be human # There's nothing we can't do to them # To be human # We can stand anything # To be human # We aren't afraid of anything # If only we can be human # We can even sell our souls # A human # How great is it? # To be human # There's nothing we can't do to them # To be human # We can stand anything # In a world filled with humans # Where there are more inhumane ones # Why do we also want to be human? # What is so great about being human? # What is so great about it? # To be human # We can even sell our souls # When I see myself in the mirror # I hate my ugly self # I want to be human # To love like a human # At least for a day # Could I be happy # If I stop your heart with my hand # But I can only be human # After I kill my love # I want to be human # Like an ordinary girl # With all my heart after 1,000 years # Love like a human # Love like a human Is it already time to die? Let's go. Yes, of course. There. Set it up and push it. Never take this off. Let me know when it rings. You know why I gave you this important thing? Yeah. I don't trust the others. Try not to touch it. Dad, have a look here. Is everyone here? Have a look. Champagne? We need this for such a great day like today. And I've prepared one more thing. Want to see? What's he doing now? He makes me so nervous. Don't be surprised. Congratulations on being human! Congratulations on being human! Who's that? Wait, that's... Hurry and escape. - What are you doing? - Be quiet. Just do what I say. Now go! Where the hell are we going? Mr. Hong, where've you been? Stay there. So you didn't do anything to those women? No. Then where did you go every night? - My part time job. - Job? Part-time? So you bought meat with that money? Yeah! So why did you bring that dog here? It's only skin and bones. Not even worthy to eat. Big trouble! Big trouble! Come out! Your daughter and Mr. Hong... Mr. Hong kidnapped your daughter! Come out! What? I came here to take the plates back. Hold on tight! Stop the car! Hey! Stop the car! Get closer! This motorcycle is so slow, what's wrong with it? Pull me up! That damn bastard! Is everyone still on? Dad, over there! I wasn't planning on killing you. But you're just like the other bitches. All hookers like you playing with all kinds of men have to die. She did the same, too. She said she loved me but betrayed me since I got sick. Rotten bitches. Dirty bitches. All sluts like you should be wiped out for this country and society. I'm doing a good deed for making a just society. I'm a servant of pure justice. I'm Wonder Woman. 15 minutes left! Hurry up! Why are you so slow? Then carry her instead! We have no time! What'll you do if something happens to her? Hey! Wake up! Please wake up! Are you alright? Where's Mr. Hong? You shouldn't be here. Hurry and run! I was misunderstood because of you. Wait, why are you giving it to her? If she eats his liver... We've waited for a thousand years! How could you do that? Dad, one of us has to sacrifice because of him! Right. I've lived long enough. Take care of the youngest. We have no time. Hurry and start. I'll take care of the old woman. Mom! Dad! Time's up. Mommy! Isn't it amazing? Not only one, but three foxes were found in Seoul's Nam Mountain. According to witnesses, these foxes walked around Nam Mountain as if it were their home. The Animal Protection Association said those foxes are known to be extinct, and asked special protection and affection from citizens. The foxes will add another attraction to Nam Mountain's scenery. I hope they live happily in these parts. This is Kang Yoo-mi from Nam Mountain. Honey, what are you doing? Hurry or we'll be late! Okay! I told you not to do somersaults, didn't I? Carry your bag first and go. Isn't it great to run on two legs? Oh, look at your pretty cheeks! Honey, hurry up. Tell your father not to go around. He went out again. It's because he feels stuffy at home. And tell your brother not to piss everywhere. Don't worry, I'll clean up. Yeah, like you ever did. From today on, don't do somersaults or eat anything like you just did at school. Why not? Because you're different from others. You're a 0.5 breed. What's that? Well, something happened between me and daddy long time ago. What? Please don't do that stuff! Don't do that! In the year 1701, in a royal hallway of Edo castle, Lord Akou assaulted Kira, a nobleman, with his sword! Lord Akou was made to commit hara-kiri as his vassals scattered as ronin, disguised as merchants and doctors... Our story begins one year later in a poor neighborhood in Edo By this winter morning, swordfighting has blown out of fashion with the wind For Rent Wake up! Morning time... Wake up! Quick, wash your face and get down to the fish market Let me sleep a little longer, Onobu... You took the day off yesterday The sun's already up! Hurry up! I'll leave you behind All this noise every damned morning Please let me escape this dump Is master Soza up and about? What's your business with him? I'm sure you're up to no good Do you have to put it like that? He needs my advice, that's all Hurry, Pa, or they'll close the fish market I'm taking the day off You took the day off yesterday What are you still doing in bed? Good morning, Osae san Already off? The weather's so fine, I'll deliver the sewing I've finished Good for you Off you go Did you hear that? ! Who cares Ouch! What the hell Can't be helped in such close quarters... Watch yourself How's things? You know they're never good Right At this rate, I'll never get Onobu to marry me Fool, you know Onobu's going to marry me There you go again Later HANA I envy you If your revenge plan goes well, you'll be a rich and respected man You can leave this seedy life behind Lucky your father left you a score to settle My father died peacefully that's no use at all Hirano san, where to, today? To the castle Oh, to see your friend, the retainer? Enough of that ingrate I've got a relative who's assigned to the study in Edo castle I am off to petition him for an official post A good position in contact with the Shogun I once did this man a favor... Off already? I must be on my way Hey, ronin If you want the castle, it's this-a-way Excuse me You heard? He knows one of the government retainers And has a relative in the castle study Oh, no, the tale keeps getting taller and taller I found him, your enemy Not, again... This time, I swear it's him The water's perfect I know another guy... "Height 175cm, fair skin with regular teeth WANTED WANTED "His fox-like face bears a red mark from his right eye down his cheek" Ah, the marked cheek is on his face, not his backside... Yes Age? Thirty Thirty... Much older looking since I last saw him... Don't lose heart, Soza Finding a man in Edo's sprawl is like winning the lottery It could take 10 years, no, 20... Hey, sis, another sake Patience... But he's the right height, right? I'll go over it once more so listen well Our shit fertilizes the rice paddies and fields That's why the farmer pays money to buy it from the rich landlord, who owns this tenement And that money pays for New Year's rice cakes for all of us You mean, rice cakes come from shit? Well, not quite, but you're not far off, either Useless, it's damp! That's a fine sum Don't be stingy with those rice cakes Save that line for when you've paid your rent And I don't recall letting a room to that prancing idiot beside you I'll work hard for lots of rice cakes next year Yeah, let's do that Despite the passage of time you've yet to avenge your father Our entire family struggles to sustain itself My frugal housekeeping permits me to forward this sum, but alas, there is no more... The samurai goes to the bath house daily, thanks to money made off peasants' backs... I bet... You've never killed a soul Just like you've never used that sword against anyone How the hell are you ever going to avenge your father? "How the hell..." I'll strike him with all my might and if that's not sufficient, I'll take my life gracefully just like the cherry blossoms That's the warrior's way of death This, my father taught me One rainy night last spring, the man who lived here, was ruined and decided to end it all He got as far as slashing his wife's throat, but then his only kid turned on him and stabbed him Hearing the noise I rushed over, this place was a sea of blood Right about where you're sitting now... The old man was bleeding to death, guts spurting I wouldn't call that graceful... I'd call it a massacre That's what a man's death means Don't talk about living and dying, without being ready for the worst Good morning, Soza san Good morning Are you going out? Just to the toilet You, Osae san? We're going to pray at the shrine You should come, Soza san No, Shinnosuke He's a busy man Mother Good day Good day What did you pray for? That I may find my enemy soon Mother? That you may stay a sweet-natured boy And you? That Father will return safely How can one god answer so many prayers? Come here, come here and buy Take a look at these toys, very popular! I've got every kind We go this-a-way, we go that-a-way My husband died of a lung disease when our boy was only two Today is his monthly anniversary I see... Time keeps passing by and I haven't yet told him the truth What does that say? No tabs What's a tab? A tab? A tab means... You want to eat now but pay later Sada san's always asking for that Actually, he never, ever pays his tabs, so we call someone like him "a deadbeat" How do you write "run out on debts?" "Deadbeat?" The way you write it... You write "step out"... with "on your debts" means "run out" Let's try that again Abacus and Writing Lessons Clear the abacus for the next calculation... Abacus and Writing Lessons Abacus and Writing Lessons That's 7 pence That's 7 pence Eight pence Five pence Two pence Three pence If you're going to teach, why not teach swordfighting? What's the point in a world with no more war? Idiot But a samurai teaching the abacus? Got nothing to do with avenging... As they say, "Hunger is a terrible master..." "Hunger's the master" The point is, a man doesn't need to read if he's got the guts to fight As they say here, "Only the countrymen keep their money" We spend our money as soon as we make it. Who needs calculations? You're not even from around here You're in the way, move What do you want in there? Soza san to teach me how to write You, too? At least I'll learn how to write my own name You have no guts You should learn, too Damn it "My own name" my ass! I'll never write a single word, until the day I die Everyone finished? Can you believe Kenbo's learning to write? He's smart and good looking Good bye See you tomorrow Clinic Isn't he going to inherit the martial arts academy? Yes, his father was a grand fencing master A samurai teaching kids to write... It's not right You... should investigate He may be have ties to Kira I warned you about this Even scattered, it's risk y with too many of us in town All right Not to worry, it's nothing Though I can't heal much more than this Soza san, is this the first time you've met Kichiemon? Yes I'm Kichiemon I'm Aoki Soza-emon Soza san has come from up north, to avenge his father I see Revenge, huh... It's been over two and a half years now, with no leads... Two and a half years, I'm sorry But why here? Any special reason? These places often shelter strangers A good place to seek my enemy... Strangers? Master Aoki, what do you do for fun? Fun? My pleasures are... Bathing and... I also keep birds And I like to play Go Kichiemon also enjoys Go Why not challenge each other? Yes, an excellent plan Over a game of Go... Yes It was at a Go tournament "You've called halt four times" "No, it's only three," that's how it began "You're just an idiot, how dare you call me a liar! Draw!" I'm so sorry He always longed to die at war Dying over a silly dispute Must have been a shame At least... If he had died in a manner more worthy of a warrior... One moment I've always been... handy this way That's all for today, Soza san So I stand at 7 wins, 3 losses Do come back Welcome Don't stare Done yet? Not yet Tell me when you're done I hope it's a lot A lot, a lot A lot, a lot Revenge? That's right It's just a play A play? This'll be your first Every spring festival, Shigehachi writes a script and we stage a revenge play Despite his looks, this guy's smart Despite my looks... I've got more confidence in my brains than my guts Same goes for me The crowd paid us well last year Osae san looked so pretty in her costume Osae san, too? They only love our show so much, half aware it's a farce, because real fights are so scarce We make money... Thanks to those cowardly Akou ronin who can't avenge their Lord Did they beat you up, Shinbo? No What then? They made fun of me How? They said I live like a pig in a rubbish heap What the hell? And that everyone who lives here is trash Who the hell said that? Don't get so upset, they're just kids Besides, they're right They said "why bother buying trash, just sell your own" That'd be me Got that right What's wrong with my work? Bring the brat here I'll beat the shit outta him Hurry up, bring the brat Soza san Teach me to use a sword I really want to beat them Sounds great Teach him, Soza Act like a samurai for once My father made me promise no fighting outside the academy That's pretty useless I'll teach you Come here Hold this Grab this tight Hold it in front of your belly Hold it really straight Lift it straight up and... Bring it down What's going on here? Shinbo's practicing vengeance For the play? No, the genuine article Swing it down hard And shout Oto san What would you do in his place? I'd learn how to take a punch without getting hurt How's that? Let 'em hit you where it doesn't hurt and call it quits Who taught you that pathetic trick? My dad, before he died What a legacy! Your mom's a real terror... Yup, it's come in real handy. Thanks, Dad Don't force it Give it here Hold this, straight, straight When you're ready to strike... That's it Shinbo, come on, hit me like you mean it Hey, that's dangerous Come and get me, crybaby You want to win, right? Listen It's no good swinging like that useless Lord Akou Swords are made for thrusting Got it? Try it That's right, that's good Aim at their knees and ankles, where it's hard and it'll hurt That's cheating... Say, noble samurai Why don't you come after me? I think not It's childish to take on an amateur No need to worry I want to show Shinbo, fencing learned in a dojo, is useless in reality Find any fish? Watch out! Mago! He's useless... Cheater Listen up, Shinbo This way, they'll never bother you again If that's not your style, get that guy to show you how to take a punch without getting hurt Somebody... Look after Soza san Hey, there's a sudden chill in the air Taking a few days off Daddy, you're home! It's spinning It's caught You're right Other way This time the other way - Welcome home - Thanks What's that? It was just lying there Someone was in a hurry I'm home, baby Can you hear? Hirano san... Are you all right? Do you have a stomach ache? Hirano san... Hey, Sada san! Look what a mess you made of the floor The landlord won't like this Get a doctor, quick! He'll be fine, it's the third time And the sword's bamboo He tries to commit hara-kiri every spring - Pathetic - Ouch Listen, if you do this on the floor, it's a pain in the neck to clean up If you must, do it on the dirt floor Answer me Oh, no! Soza san, please get Dr. Onodera Soza san What a bunch of hopeless losers... Bamboo... Osae san... Thank you I could've sworn he was taller Enough of your stories Give me the money Money? Oh, hello Pick it up Sada san I'm grateful What for? I was in the mood for something sweet Actually, Sada san Why so serious, suddenly? I've already found him... Kanazawa Jubei Changed his name Heisuke, right? He's a laborer in Kawaracho That widow he's living with is a beauty - You knew! - Yeah, I knew - Since when? But you got away, didn't you? You're a Pure Blood. You were born a vampire, and I was turned. I'm unworthy. Come on, Chase, that is so old world. It's not me anymore. You're still with Marcus? Of course. But is he with you? Your master's voice. Excuse me. Hello, Marcus. You didn't close the deal? No, it didn't go well. Nothing has since Berlin. What's wrong with you, Chase? You said you were ready to come back to work. - I am. - Let me talk to that prick. So what's the problem? Taylor is playing hardball, he won't budge on the price. You assured me you could do this. Do I need to send someone else out there who can make this happen? No, I'll get it done. The clock is ticking. - I thought you were his favorite. - Things change. Let me guess... Tall, brown hair. How did you know? When things get stressful, Marcus reverts to his old bad habits. What does that mean? His wife. Tall... brown hair... Really quite the beauty, until she wasn't, but I guess we all have our weaknesses, uh? - I didn't know he was married. - Oh yeah. A long time ago, it didn't end well. Then again, what does? I have missed you. I haven't thought of you once. Maybe it's time for you to get out. Maybe it's time for you to shut up! Close the deal and get out. I will, I have to. What are you up to, Chase? I need change. What do you mean? Vegas. I could leave Detroit. Run things from out here. Put a little space between Marcus and I. What for? Is he hurting you? No. Not yet. It's complicated. Alright. Then what is Taylor asking for? Four million. It's a drop in the bucket for a guy like Marcus. I think he wants me to fail. Why? I almost died in Berlin. Blade. I got burned. I think Marcus lost faith in me. All he needs is an excuse to replace me. Then he's a goddamn fool. Lisa? Lisa. I called the house but nobody's there. Nobody's answering. Is the nurse there? Lisa? You chill to the bone. Do you wanna go to the hospital? Alright, alright... Well, let me take you home. I don't want to go back there. I don't feel very well. What the hell is that? Ok, I'm gonna call 911. Come on, pick up that goddamn phone. I think I need something to eat. Please hang up, and try your call again. Please hang up now, this is a recording. Please hang up, and tr... Krista. Oh no! No! Is he dead? Yeah. - What are you doing? - Make it sure he stays that way. Where will she go now? I don't know. - Think. - I don't know! They are all dead! My entire family is... dead. Not yet. But the sun is coming up soon. Let's go. She's hanging out with a different crowd now. Ever heard of Marcus Van Sciver? Van Sciver Incorporated, how can I direct your call, hello? Hello? Krista. All you have to do is die. Welcome to the family. Family? Hey, is somebody down there? I didn't see you sign in. Hey? Is this somebody in here? You're beautiful. You already have me in bed. You can stop. No, please continue. It's a hell of a show. Marcus? Get dressed. We're leaving. Wow, no! Wait. You don't wait, you don't listen to him! You get up and you get dressed now or I will kill you before you take another breath. You were here to close a deal, not to whore yourself out to a degenerate Pure Blood. Wouldn't you rather just, cut the insults and rip my throat out. Oh that's right you can't, because I am a Pure Blood. And what are you? You're just... infected. Which is all you'll ever be. Doing our biddings, serving our will. Yeah. Vampires like you it's... nothing but pieces of meat. They got a reprieve. Thank you of reminding me of that. Chase? Chase? It's getting dark. It's time to go. Where? To the cemetary. Your brother's grave. My dead brother is not the problem. Your mother is. She might be dropping by just to say hello. Mothers are like that. So we're gonna go stake out a cemetary? Until you come over with something better. A.D.E. What? - After Death Experience... - I know what it is. My mom had one when I turned her. Which means she saw you being turned. By Marcus. At the House of Chthon. She's probably looking for me there. Please, please help me! I need to see my daughter. I... Sorry, sir. She came out of nowhere. Not a problem. Happens from time to time. Is she? Infected... Lane, this is Leon. I've got a stray in the lobby who needs an immediate transportation to disposal. Ma'am, if you'd like to accompany these gentlemen through that door, I'll see to it that you receive all the attention you deserve. I want my daughter, where is my daughter? Ma'am, we're gonna take care of you. I want my daughter. Agent Collins, Mr. Van Sciver will see you now. Will you follow me? Sure, thank you. My mom is in that ambulance, let's go! What can I do for the FBI? Well, I'm just following up on a case. What do you know about a young man named Zack Starr? That name isn't familiar. What about Krista Starr? - His wife? - Sister. I'm sorry, what is this about? Zack Starr was murdered and the case was being handled by a local detective, a cop named Brian Boone. Looks like Krista Starr was involved in the investigation. - Well, have you talked to her? - No, she's missing. You wouldn't know where I could find her by any chance, would you? - Do you say Boone? - Yeah. Is this the same detective who is being accused of this cross country killing spree? Yeah. And you're handling that case. Well, it might be tied to the Starr murder. You think it might be 2 murders, him and his sister? No. She isn't dead. In fact, her uncle saw her recently, just doesn't know how to get ahold of her. - You spoke to the uncle? - Uh-uh. And he tells me that you and Krista know each other pretty well. Tell me... - Do you understand british divorce courts, Mr. Collins? - Sorry. UK law, elementary requirements. Not at all. My situation is such that discretion in this case with this single young woman is both financially and publically essential. So you, you do know about Zack Starr? I'm afraid so. Yes. Only what Krista told me over the pillow, so to speak. How did you two meet? Social function. I was at a gallery opening, she walked in, and, I noticed. It happened like that. Did it? So can you tell me where she is now? No. I haven't seen her in a few days. And to be quite honest, she finds me, I don't have a number or an address, - just a willingness to see whenever she gets... - ...bitch. I tell you what. If you meet me at this park, I've got a meeting downtown, I'll... have some of my people dig her up for you. I'm sorry, poor choice of words, but I'm sure once I get them onto it. I'll be able to tell you exactly where she's been found. Now if there's nothing else, I think we're done here. There is one more thing, Mr. Van Sciver. Do you know what this symbol is? Should I? That wasn't my question. No. I don't know what it is. Do you? Not yet. Now we are done here. I apologize again. For what? Keeping me waiting or lying to me? Both. Good evening. Sabine will show you out. Picked the wrong House to crash, Ma'am. Chthon is pretty picky. I was looking for my daughter. She was there. A lot of people pass through them, Ma'am. What's that? An extract of garlic. I'd say this is gonna hurt a little but I'd be lying. I've always hated garlic. This will be the last time you'll be able to smell it. I promise. Oh my god, mom! What are you doing? Get out of the way. You're gonna have to kill me first, you son of a bitch. Blade. Krista? Mum, we're gonna get you out of here. I'm a little busy, sweetheart. Mom, look at me! You've to come with me now! Right now! What, what have you done to me? I'm gonna tell, I'll talk about that. Just... give me your hand. Come on. Come on. Alex. What are you doing here? Getting you out. Please? Here is a... cashier's check for 4 million dollars. It's what you need to get that property from Taylor. - And you want in on the deal? - No. I only want Chase. Alex, you do know that relationships between Pure Bloods and non Pure Bloods is frowned upon. To speak nothing of a... financial arrangement between Erebus ans the House of Chthon... Trust me. No one knows I'm here, this is strictly between you and me. So... take the money, buy whatever you want, but let Chase go. You're buying me. I'm rescuing you. There's a difference. Yes, there is. You're right. Since Berlin, I'm just not the same. Fine, go. Let me say goodbye properly. Pour us a drink, Chase. Let's toast to our new lifes. To endings and beginnings. Sorensen? - You're a long way from home, Ray. - Yes, so are you. But I'm not the one who's been ruffling feathers. Where did you hear that? I got a call from Director Hendricks who heard of a Michigan senator who was responding to a call from a local mover and shaker. Marcus Van Sciver. Is that the guy you've been accusing of killing people? I didn't accuse him of anything. But this has to do with that local cop that you've been chasing. Starts there, I don't know where it's gonna end. It's gonna end right here, Ray. Right here. It's time to fold up the tent, people are tired of the sideshow, Ray. You're asking for my gun? Do I have to ask? - Do you have a spare? - No. I'm gonna believe that. Is there something else? What? Van Sciver isn't human. Ok Ray, I've gonna get... No, you have to believe me, I've seen things. - I don't buy this... - No, listen to me! There's a conspiracy here. And it goes way back. I, I'm not sure who it involves, but these... these people, these things... Hey, I'm gonna make you promise, hey look at me, look at me in my eyes! We're gonna go home, you're gonna get to talk to... I'm not talking to another doctor! Talk to Hendricks. If you believe this, whatever it is, and I don't bring it forward in this day and age... I'm not willing take that risk. You've shitting me right? I've known you too long. Thank you. There's a flight at 7.30 am. - You got a hotel here, right? - Yeah. I'll pick you up first thing. We're gonna figure this out, Ray, you and me. We're gonna gat all this squared away. This ***. Where I am? You are where you need to be, honey. You don't have to this, Chase. This is the only way to ensure the project success. What project? What are you talking about? What is he doing? Chase? It's ok. Don't worry about what he's doing. What is that? What is he doing? Marcus? Marcus? It's just an experiment. But one I'm sure will work. Ready. You're sure about this, Chase? I've nothing but faith in you. Chase? What's happening? Deep breaths. What are you doing? Giving you the chance to prove that Pure Bloods aren't immortal. Pure Bloods could die, and that we, the infected ones, will be the ones to take you all down. I... I... I thought you loved me. I do. For everything you've just done for Marcus and I. Who is infected now? I know it hurts, mom. - Please don't! - I can't. Stop it you bitch! It has to work right? Tell me it's gonna work! I'm so thristy! I can smell him, he's right there. I'm so thirsty, honey, please! Why isn't this working? She's fed to many times, she's been turned for too long. Let me out! What can I do? You can let me do it. Mom! Krista? I'm sorry. Butchered in bed in hollywood's Premier sex playground-- Lenny stein-- Music producer, maverick executive, Murder victim. His unknown killer is still at large. Witnesses saw stein enter the hotel With a very young, very attractive woman. The l.A.P.D. Is now looking for this woman, The woman witnesses saw with stein Just before he was murdered. Police are asking if you have any information About her or her whereabouts, Please contact l.A.P.D. Immediately. Oh,my god. I killed him. I can't believe it. I killed him. Ann,listen to me. Listen to me. You did the right thing by talking to a lawyer. Now from what you're saying, It sounds like you have a good case for self-Defense. If he was attacking you,the law says you can protect yourself. But in order for me to help you, I need to understand exactly what happened,okay? So one more time, but slower. Lenny invited me to his hotel room. We're friends. And i don't know if it was his temper Or his drinking or what, But he got mad, and he hit me, And he wouldn't let me leave. He... tried to kill me. Are you all right? I'm okay. I've seen you on tv, mr. Nicholson, In these big,huge trials. Um... and that's why i came here-- Because i didn't know what else to do. I'm not from here. I go to school here, and my parents are in nebraska. I just don't know anybody. I'm so scared. Don't be. All right? I called my partners. They're on their way down here right now. Thank you,tom. Thank you for helping me. I swear,i didn't mean to hurt him. That's exactly what we're gonna tell the jury. The los angeles police Are asking for help from the community. This person of interest is believed to be a white female Between the ages of 20 and 24. We'll handle it. I promise. These are my partners-- Luther graves, Alden tuller and ron trott. Ron,this is ann diggs. She's the girl they're looking for in the stein murder. What did you use,a knife? Yeah,from the room service cart. Why did you come to a law firm? Why not go to the police? Anything i say to the police could be used against me,right? I was afraid if i went without a lawyer, I would say something stupid and make it worse. And you guys are the only lawyers that i've ever heard of. How? How did you hear of us? From all the big cases that you do. Mr. Trott,i don't deserve to go to jail. I need you to take my case. We don't take walk-Ins. Come on,ron. A great case like this walks in, You just don't let it walk out and go to geragos. Look at the tv. Mrs. Stein,the dead man's wife, is in paris. She's flying home this evening, grief-Stricken. This is the lead story,ron. It's only going to get bigger. Plus,i've already talked to ann,and i've heard her story. I believe her,ron. She had to kill him, Or he would have killed her. And i've also done a background check. She has no criminal record. We can win this thing on self-Defense. We'll take your case. We will? Tom and luther are right. This is going to be a media circus, The kind of case we're built to win. We're tntg. We don't lose. I don't have any money. None. I'm on student loans at u.C.L.A., And my parents don't give me Any financial support whatsoever. How much is this gonna cost me? We'll do it for free. Free to her. I didn't say we won't get paid. Book rights,movie rights-- Press like this, we're gonna get paid. Trust me. I told you we'd handle it, but we've gotta move fast. Take her purse and her cell phone. News coverage means the chance of you getting a fair trial is going down by the second, So we've got to do everything we can before we turn you in. You just need to answer one question. I told you. It was self-Defense. That's not the question. Don't guess! Ron. What did you do with the knife? Threw it away? That's not good. Plus,she's too calm to have just killed someone. She's not calm,alden. She's numb. Not too numb to come here instead of going to the cops. You think she's lying to us? A married man and a college girl go to a hotel room together-- Someone's lying about something, and that's before anyone dies. The d.A. Will argue that she ditched the knife Because it's a murder weapon. They'll convict her based on her trying to hide it. So let's find it before they do, turn it over to the cops And show the jury she has nothing to hide. Just do it fast, before the next news cycle. Luther,you're an ex-D.A. How long do we have before they identify ann? Depends. Police have a composite drawing, Which means they can't put a name to a face yet. By now they have picked over the scene And found her fingerprints, And they're entering them into their master database. If she had a record, they'd know who she is now. The good news is,she doesn't. The bad news is, with her driver's license, Passport and her student loan application, They'll know who she is by morning. Fine. We can do a lot in one night. Yeah,like make our case worse. Nothing says we have to find the knife. What if we decide not to go with self-Defense after all? Stein's wife was in paris. We can't blame her, And this doesn't look like suicide, So it's self-Defense or nothing. Find the knife,now. Think. When you left the hotel, did you go left or right? Uh,i don't remember where i threw it. I--It was an alley. Did you park on the street, or did you use valet? Street, 'cause i-I can't afford valet. Good. Meter or lot? Meter. And i went to a coffee shop to get some change. Okay,give me all the alleys in the area By commercial buildings near the hotel. Now you said you threw the knife in the alley where you parked. Is it any of these? These are near stores, If you threw the knife near where you got the change. Um... it's one of those. Is it that one just off fordham road? Yes,yes. That's it. I'm sorry. That's okay. You did all right. Print that. We'll get our guys down there and check it out. Looks like our paralegals have found something. Let's hope it's a knife. L.A.P.D. Is really working this one. They love big media cases almost as much as we do. We found something over here,mr. Nicholson. Oh,nice. Well,who says trial work isn't glamorous? Who's got a glove? I do,mr. Nicholson. But,uh, won't the police say-- Hey,the rat's the one destroying evidence,not me. We're not sure that it is evidence. It may not be the knife she used. If it is the knife, we are going with self-Defense. So we are not going to deny that she killed him with it. Of course,the cops could still charge us with evidence tampering. Well,that's no problem. We'll just defend ourselves. We're tntg,right? "We don't lose." They really didn't go over this part in law school,mr. Graves. It's okay. The defense lawyers Have as much right to gather evidence as prosecutors. Most defense lawyers are just too lazy or scared to do it. Plus,if we waited for the cops to find evidence, We'd never win our cases. Come on. Let's just hope it was self-Defense. 'Cause if it wasn't, we just found the evidence That's gonna convict our client. Good work. Come on. 100% innocent. -=The last fantasy=- Proudly presents Like i always say, If you got the right lawyer with you, We've got the greatest legal system in the world. Got it. Thanks. My sources downtown are telling me they know who ann is. L.A.P.D. Just identified her prints. We have got to turn her in now,ron. Who's the homicide a.D.A. On duty? William matthew byrne,jr. Ouch. Byrne's tough. If we turn ann in now, byrne will be the trial d.A. When does his shift end? 6:00 a.M. Then it's j.D. Keller. Maybe we should wait. Hey,i am not afraid of byrne. I'd rather go up against keller. Keller loves the media so much, he'll tip his trial strategy Just to get his name in the paper. We'll know what he's gonna do in court before he does it. After he hit me,i landed here in the corner by the bed. He was here between me and the door, And the cart was right here, where i grabbed the knife. How? Show me. I just swung and ran past him. So you had to use deadly force because he blocked your retreat. Excellent. Who's doing the investigation? It's a wobbler-- L.A.P.D., Beverly hills p.D.-- Joint jurisdiction. So they'll be fighting over who gets to make the arrest. I love it. Turf battles between cops always help the defense. The l.A.P.D. Will really want this one bad, So arrange to turn her in to the beverly hills p.D. It'll buy us a few more hours and let us argue She wanted to cooperate, she wasn't hiding from anyone. Get ann examined. I want photographs of her bruises, Anything that proves stein attacked her. It'll help at trial, and i don't want to rely On the cops to get photos of them. Our whole case is gonna be her testimony. Whatever we can do to bolster it,the better. We start putting her story together now. Thanks,ron. I didn't think you'd spend money on a pro bono case. It isn't going to be pro bono by the time we're done,believe me. If she dated stein, you'd better believe She dated other guys like stein-- Rich,powerful and eager to pay any price To stay clear of this case. I'm going on tv. Now? Yes,now. For the east-Coast feed. Any time we get to the client before the police, We do pre-Spin. I'm gonna plant self-Defense in the minds Of potential jurors through the media. To win,people have to know stein was a bad man. Now's a good time to start telling them. I just can't mention that we represent her. Defense lawyer howard weitzman, You've been following the stein case. What do you make of this woman the l.A.P.D. Is looking for? At this point, it's hard to say. We don't even know who she is. Could she be a prostitute? Whoa! Mrs. Stein isn't gonna like hearing that,suzanne. Neither is this woman, whoever she is. I mean hypothetically, if the woman is a hooker, She could have rolled stein for his money. What is this,aruba? We're just making theories up. Americans have a right to a fair trial. Actually,ron's right. At this point, We don't know what she is, And we don't know if she was involved in this. She has to be involved. Witnesses saw her with stein. I hear stein had a terrible temper. Did anyone else hear that or know anybody who was a victim of that? Maybe the poor girl was defending herself. I don't remember. How long did you two date? We didn't date. I'd see him at parties and premieres and award shows. Beats going to keggers at frat houses. That's the great thing about going to college here Is that you can go to all that hollywood stuff. I'd see stein at these things, And he would flirt with me and ask me out, And i always said no. Until you said "yes." We just went to dinner a couple times. That's all. You know? Can i call my parents in nebraska? I just--I want to warn them About all the stuff on the news before they see it. Sorry. Till we turn you in, We can't risk letting anyone know you're here. Trial lawyers have great hearing. It comes from trying to hear what jurors are whispering about. Where exactly did you meet stein? We met through prime match...at hyde. This is bad. They're gonna say ann's a prostitute, Or as they say in hollywood, a "strategic dater"-- A girl who goes out with a rich man Because he gives her nice things. What are you talking about? Prime match is this dating service That throws parties at clubs like hyde. Women get in free to interact with rich men Who pay for the privilege. How do you know all this? I've gone to the parties with my friends... rarely. I just end up being the designated driver And the one who saves them from bad situations like stein. If you ever went out, you'd know these things,tom. Well,did you know the dead guy,lenny stein? No,but i know his type. I know ann's type,too. She's a poor girl trying to live larger than she can afford. Yeah,well,she's not that poor. You see her clothes tonight? They're all knockoffs-- The purse,the dress,the shoes. She wants people to think she's a model. She doesn't want to admit how she met stein. Personally, i don't blame her. I mean,you never heard me mention those parties. Well,we'll be okay,then. Women who go to those parties Are not necessarily prostitutes or strategic daters. But the jury will think she is. Well,you're not,right? The main thing is, you believe her. Unlike you, i don't have to believe The clients to defend them, but,yes,i believe her. Her clothes are phony, but those bruises are real. Come on. We gotta meet ron. You never mentioned that we represented ann? Suzanne never asked. And she's gonna go ballistic When she realizes you did pre-Spin. It makes good tv. Good tv helps her ratings and our client every time. We are set to turn ann over to the beverly hills police department. A.D.A. Keller went on duty ten minutes ago. It is time. You couldn't get her to target to get a new outfit? There are no 24-Hour targets around here,ron. You know,the whole point of getting the knife And arranging for her surrender Was to show that she had nothing to hide. Changing her clothes would be tampering with evidence. We don't cross that line,ever. Look at her. Does she look innocent to you, of anything? Put your head back. Put this on. Better. Let's go. Self surreender Are you entering a plea today? Excuse us. We're coming through. Thank you. We're here to stop an injustice. Yes, she had to defend herself-- With this--The knife. She has nothing to hide. She asked us to turn this knife over Because she wants the truth to get out. The bastard spins on my show, Then doesn't even give me an exclusive. He's gonna pay for this. She defended herself against a violent man. She deserves a medal, not a murder charge. We will not let her be victimized By the justice system. That's it! The "hollywood hooker homicide" heats up. Sources say she was a high-Priced prostitute Who stabbed stein to death and picked his wallet clean. The d.A.'S story is that ann is a prostitute Who killed stein for the money in his wallet. Now the wallet was empty, but her prints weren't on it. Now the d.A. Is going to say that she is lying About being attacked to avoid getting convicted. I think ann may have lied about a lot of things. Alden's at her dorm room to see what she's hiding. You're on student loans. Your clothes are knockoffs. But you have a $15,000 birkin bag in your dorm closet. How does a nice girl manage that? Look,i know it seems like i'm prying,because i am. So if you have another source of income, i don't. Or if you're hiding something else,just tell me. We just have to know before we put you on the stand. We can't win your case unless we know who you are. In a self-Defense case, if we can show that stein Was violent in the past, we can argue that He was violent this time, And that's why ann had to defend herself. That'll be easy. Everyone in hollywood knew stein beat up women, Especially young women. We've been looking for women To testify that stein was violent with them. The problem is, we can't find any. Can't find any? Nobody in hollywood will go near this case. Stein was powerful. It looks like he paid women off not to file complaints. Now we will keep looking, but so far,nothing. Ann dated al stirling. The pornography guy? Publisher,tom, not pornographer. Well,the guy's scum. We refused to defend him a couple of times. If the d.A. Finds out ann dated him, He'll use it to make ann look like a prostitute. Don't worry about al stirling. I'll take care of him. I said we'd get paid for this case,didn't i? Alden, handle the physical evidence. See if the knife wounds are consistent with self-Defense. I'd rather work with ann. Her testimony will be our whole case. No,do the scientific evidence. You do that better than anybody. Besides, you think she's a hooker. No,i don't,ron. I've seen her place. I think she's just a college girl that goes out With rich men so she doesn't feel like a loser... and she's hiding a gawky past, which i understand. I've been that. Okay. Let alden take ann. I'll take the physical stuff. Ann's parents are coming in from nebraska. I hate the families. You handle 'em. I'm going to see al. That was nice, him pardoning you,al. Well,if you'd handled my tax case, I wouldn't have been convicted. I told you, "stop stealing from people. But if you're going to steal, pay your taxes." It was free advice, but did you listen? So you know ann diggs. I took her to some laker games. What do you want,ron? I want to keep you up-To-Date on the case as a courtesy. We're gonna argue self-Defense. So? We're thinking of calling you as a character witness. To say what? In a self-Defense case, character for peacefulness, For non-Violence, is admissible. Did you know that? Since you two are friends-- Whoa,whoa,whoa. We're not friends. I took her to some basketball games. We never even-- Fought? Is that what you were gonna say? You didn't get into any fights. Good. It won't help us that much, but it's admissible To prove she had a peaceful character. Though i have to say, Testifying won't be so pleasant for you. The tabloids are all over this case, And the d.A. Will cross you pretty hard. As for how your wife handles it,i can't say. You do have a prenup, right? Or? Sorry? You're the lawyer,ron. Great lawyers always give you an alternative. Look,if you've got a business trip coming up Or plans with your wife, I don't want a trial to mess that up. It's time you gave back to the community. If you want to help, You could contribute to ann's defense fund. That's blackmail. Don't tell me the law,al. Everything i said is legal. If you want to stay out of these cases, Quit screwing around. He might have pardoned you... but your wife never will. Ron,tom, these are ann's parents. Great. You haven't talked to the press,have you? Ann,what have you gotten yourself into now? I'm sorry,mom. You should be. This is why we didn't want you to go to college out here. They remind me of my parents. Mr. Diggs? Tom nicholson, from hastings,nebraska. It's right near where you folks live. We've just posted ann's bail. Listen, i'm sorry about all this, But,uh,ann's gonna be okay. She's not gonna be okay. We read the papers. She killed a man with a knife, And she's not denying it. They called her a whore. I'm not a whore. Then why's it say so in the papers? Get them out of here. I don't want them around for trial. They're not sympathetic, they're not press-Friendly, And they're not helping her. Your mother's been crying ever since she got the call. I warned you about comin' out here, And now look what you've done! This isn't about you,dad! You've humiliated yourself and your whole family. It is about us! I am the one who's in trouble here,okay? Not you! Everything's not about you! What you do reflects on us. Gosh,would you just shut up and just let me talk! ? Don't hit her. Don't tell me how to treat my daughter. She's not your daughter. She is our client, And nobody touches our client,ever. Tom. Tom. Tom! Ron used some of the money He's collected for your defense fund To post your bail, and he sent your parents home. We both think it will be better for you and the trial. You okay with that? Listen,i'm sorry about getting into it with your dad. I'm sure he means well. No,he doesn't. Whatever my brothers did was fine,you know? But he never trusted me, ever. Well,some dads are better with sons Than they are with daughters. My dad was. Drove my sister crazy. When you get into the mock jury room, Don't be surprised If the focus group asks you some questions. It's a good thing. It's how we learn what kind of questions The real jury's gonna ask When they're sitting in the box at your trial. Just answer honestly. Okay? Go on,ann. What happened next? After dinner, i wanted to go home, Because i had a test the next day, But he wouldn't let me. Stein called me names, and he hit me. So i grabbed the knife to defend myself, And i swiped the knife behind me to get him away from me. Why didn't you go to a restaurant? Well, the hotel was his idea. I bet. - Yeah. It's got a five-inch-thick door, three-inch walls. It's got six-sided protection against concentrated attacks with mechanical and electrical tools. We keep our ready-to-sell harvest in here, okay? As we rotate it out, we fill it back up. No cash. No personal items. You and me are the only people on this Earth that know the combination. All right, I'll show you how to set it. You got five numbers. Left, right, left-right, left. Full turns in between. You'll hear a loud click when you're done. So, what's it gonna be? What about six-two-six-two-nine? What is that? It's "Nancy" if you spell it out on the telephone. You think that shit is slick? Like nobody's gonna figure that out? And no kids' birthdays, either. People can just look that up. Okay. - Hi. - Hi. - You like me, don't you? - Yeah. - You want me to be your girlfriend? - Yes? I'm not gonna kiss you until I get my braces off. And that won't be for a while, like maybe even a year. That's okay. Okay, then. They're just roomier. - Did you see it? - At least they got her hair right. So, if this thing goes national, how much money are we talking? New dishwasher? New house? It's Isabelle's money. - The law in California clearly states... - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we throw some in a college fund, but the rest is fair game, right? After taxes, after we pay Doug and after my management fee. Okay, fine, manager. - Can you loan me a few grand? - What for? Clothes. I had my cancer purge. But now I am in the public eye, and I have nothing to wear. You want to take Isabelle's hard-earned dollars and blow them on glad rags for your star turn on Agrestic Access TV? You bought a motorcycle and a ridiculous leather jacket. All right. Let me think about it. No. - Are you okay? You look a little frazzled. - I'm fine. - Who kicks ass? - I'm guessing you. I totally kick ass! - What does "kicking ass" entail? - A girlfriend, but that's not all. Did a free cheese grater come with the girlfriend? Oh, stop it. I'm gonna be the class speaker for graduation. - Sweetie, that's fantastic. - Way to go, little man! The whole lower school voted. I'm gonna go start working on my speech. - Congratulations, honey. - Thanks. - Oh, are we worried? - What? About what? That they're setting him up to laugh at him. They're laughing with him now. They think he's cool ever since he took up your cause. - What cause? - "Go, drugs!" He doesn't know what I do. You keep clinging to that raft. Okay, this vote is on a motion by Walter Stringer to request a variance from zoning regulation 11.6, for a front yard setback. - All in favor? - Try 11.2. - Excuse me? - It's zoning regulation 11.2, not 6. And Walt is not adding a family room. He's adding a giant garage for his boat, which is gonna cut off all the light to his neighbor's dining room. Read the plans. A family room doesn't have concrete floors and a door that's operated by a remote. That's complete bullshit. You're not in charge here anymore, Wilson. Lucky for you or I'd throw your nautical ass right out of here. Really. Buy a fucking slip in the marina, Captain Cheap-Ass. Excuse me. You're out of order. Now, all those in favor of granting the motion, raise your hand and say "aye." Aye. All of those against, "nay." - Nay. - Motion is denied. - Fuck you, Wilson! - Go play with your dinghy! Could we please just turn those lights down a little? You need them for the public-access cameras. I know. It's unfortunate. Nobody looks good in high def. You know, if you would like to address this council as a citizen, you can go ahead and wait at... Could you stop with the fucking spotlight? Celia, check the language at the door. Families are watching. You know, I know what you're trying to do. I know what you're all trying to do, and it's not gonna work. I don't need you to like me. How about we put this to a vote? All those who don't like Celia, say "aye." Aye. The public has spoken. Damn it! - Saturday's Dad's birthday, you know. - I know. Well, we have a lot to do to get ready. Maybe we'll scale down on the party a little this year. - Last year was kind of a lot. - What did you guys do last year? Ate his favorite food, watched his favorite movies, and beat the shit out of a piñata. That's right. He always did have a thing for piñatas. - Did he ever hit you, Nancy? - I'm not filled with candy. So, what's the plan? We'll do something, maybe just not the full-on, all-day celebration. Why can't we just do what we did last year? I'm not sure I can handle it. Forget it. Hey, hey, hey, hey, how about a mini celebration? All right, we'll just keep it simple, just the things that Judah loved, chicken parmesan, Willy Wonka, the original not the lame Johnny Depp piece of shit. A piñata, lap dance. Celia. Hey, take it easy. All right. Enough. I never should have done this! They hate me! They hate me! This is all your fault! God, if you would have just put a fucking light in at the intersection! - I was going to. - Oh, right, you were? But you were being this know-it-ally bitchface, - I couldn't resist fucking with you. - Yeah, and you still can't. City Council is pretty much the only thing in my life I didn't have to get baked to get through. You took that away from me. How did you know about Walter's boat garage? Celia, everything that happens in government is motivated by self-interest. Someone's always trying to put one over on someone else so they can get something they want. We're all just nothing but a bunch of selfish assholes. Remember that, and you won't go wrong. Thank you. Celia. You should bring some vodka to the council. - Vodka. - That's what I used to do. You think they like anyone? They like a good buzz. - Are you just trying to set me up? - Why would I do that? 'Cause you want to see me fail. I mean, why else would you come here tonight? I just had nothing else to do. - Vodka, huh? - Grey Goose. Hey. Go take the kids shopping. Get supplies for Judah-Fest. Yeah, I can do that, with money for both provisions and my services as a nanny/assistant. Oh. Oh, that's how it's gonna be? Well, according to my calculations, I will have fully repaid my debt to you as of my next excursion to the dry cleaner's. I'd like to double-check those numbers, if you don't mind. They're rough estimates, really. They're more projections, taking inflation into account. I got another bill today from your old alma mater, Hamadash La blah blah blah? Over $5,000. Hamidrash I'Torah, and that happens to be tax-deductible. I don't pay taxes, you idiot. There's a big harvest coming up in a couple of weeks. Why don't you come back and help? I'll put you on the payroll. - I want more than Sanjay. - Forget it. Wait, wait, wait. - Yeah, I'll take it. - Welcome back. - Jelly beans for the piñata. - Dad hated jelly beans. - He liked the cherry ones. - He said they taste like cough syrup. The only candy your father really liked is Almond Joy. Don't ask me why. But get what you want, get what you want. Not if Dad hated them. Yael. What was Dad like before he met Mom? He didn't smell as good, but he was the golden boy to my black sheep. He did everything right, a mother's dream. Hardworking, athletic, ambitious. That wasn't getting him laid, so he went through a tortured-artist phase. - Where are his paintings? - No, no, no, not that kind of artist. A performance artist. He did weird stuff like paint his whole body silver and stand naked on the war memorial reciting bad poetry. - Why? - To get laid. It worked, too. He met your mom when he hired her to dance barefoot in his Feet Me in St. Louis installation. But he was always broke. It wasn't really his true nature, and your mom wanted kids. So he took his engineering degree, got a real job, moved to suburbia. I'm never getting married. It's death. You're a little young to have reached that conclusion. How come you're not married, Uncle Andy? 'Cause it's death. Right here. Here we go. So Elaine Roberts' brother owns Green Grass Landscaping? Oh, yeah, she gave him a no-bid contract to maintain all the parks and the medians the minute she got elected. He overcharges like Halliburton, but you've got to love the flowering jacaranda trees he put out by the ball fields. And Tom Bender owns all of our school buses. He bought them from the town and then rents them back to us for twice what he paid, which was actually my idea. But he went behind my back and made the deal himself when Dana and I were on vacation in Hawaii. - Where did you stay? - The Four Seasons, Maui. - See, I prefer the Kea Lani. - Me, too. But Dana likes the macadamia-nut pancakes at the Four Seasons. Twenty-eight dollars for fucking crunchy pancakes that she takes two bites of and throws out. - You want another one? - No, no, I should probably save that for the next council meeting. Oh, right, it's your vodka. Well, thank you for this, the 411. I never realized there was such a method to your madness. Six years on a job, and you learn how things work. - Are you heading out, too? - Me? - Are you leaving? - Now? - Should we go out together? - What? Not "should we go out together." Just should we go out together, out of this office, outside? Well, it is lunchtime out there. Do you want to try this new little Mongolian-barbecue place before they go out of business? - What was that? - I don't know. - I have condoms in my desk. - Do you have herpes, warts, anything? - I'm clean. You? - I'm clean. I had my tubes tied. - Fuck the condoms. - Great. This isn't all some scheme to get back control of Isabelle's money, is it? This isn't some hostile way for you to get back at Dean, is it? - I'm not sure what it is. - Me, neither. - I'm not sure I care right now. - Me, either. My cousin live in a village where all the babies born one year look like those Oompa Loompas. Then they stop the crop-dusting, and the next year, all fine. Do they dance and sing morality songs? No, but a lot of them are tossed in bars to make a living. I used to have nightmares about the boat scene. I remember that. I used to have to crawl in bed with you and read to you from the real-estate section to get you to fall asleep. Which got me into trouble at school. When we were starting Roosevelt, I proudly announced to the entire class that FDR stood for "Formal Dining Room." I like this part! Oh, can we say chicken parmesan? No. Oh, no. I promise I won't yell. No ultimatums. - I just want to talk. Can I come in? - Bad timing. What's going on? Mom. - Birthday celebration. - Whose birthday? Mom, you're missing the best part. Guys, Peter's here, and I need to help him with something outside just for a minute, and then I'll be right back, okay? What's he doing here? It's Dad's birthday, for fuck's sake. Dinner's almost ready. Lupita, set the table. You have hands. Do you know he's a DEA agent? - Huh? Who's a DEA agent? - That Peter guy. Get the fuck out of here. I saw him leaving here and he had this jacket on that said "DEA." - Shane, stop making shit up. - I'm not. D-E-A could stand for a lot of things. It was the same kind I see on the news when they bust people, the exact kind. - What exactly did he say to your mom? - I don't know. When I saw him, he was getting into his car. He looked really mad. He's mom's boyfriend, isn't he? I really have to get back. I didn't mean to interrupt your celebration. I just don't like the way our last conversation went. - I was upset. - I know, and you had a right to be. - I'm sorry I went behind your back. - I want to be with you. We have to work through this. - We have huge issues, Peter. - All couples do. I'm guessing our issues are pretty unique. This... This is really not the right time to talk. - When is the right time? - When it's not my dead husband's birthday. Fair enough. - I have to get back. - I'll call you later. Where is everybody? After Shane tells Silas that man is in the DEA, Silas tells Shane he's your boyfriend and you don't care about Judah no more. So he smashed the cake and run upstairs, and Silas go outside to fuck up the stucco with a basketball, and Andy go upstairs to get norched. I eat from stress. Shit. Silas. Silas. - Talk to me. - You're insane! He's a fucking DEA agent! Yes. Yes, he is, but it's okay. He's okay with it. So he's a crooked DEA agent. Even better. Peter protects my business, Silas. Well, maybe now, but what happens when he breaks up with you? Or do you think you're so great that that's never gonna happen? - What happens when he dumps you? - He can't do anything to me. Bullshit! He can arrest you! I'm gonna tell you something, but you have to promise never to repeat it, especially to Shane. - Tell me what? - Swear to me, never to Shane. Fine. Peter and I are technically... We're... What? We're married. I know it sounds crazy. It kind of is crazy, but sometimes you do crazy things when you have no choice, and I had no choice. It's a business arrangement, pure and simple. I know what you're thinking. I loved your father. I still love him. This has nothing to do with Judah or marriage, really. It's business. You married him. Silas, I know how strange this all sounds. - It's Dad's birthday! - I know. But he's dead, so what difference does it make? Stop playing the dead-dad card! The wrong parent died! And you know what? Tough shit. Get your ass back there and watch Willy fucking Wonka! Go, go, go! - Clear. - Clear. We're cleared here. Surveillance had them all going inside 45 minutes ago. - Did anyone bail out on the perimeter? - No, ma'am. All secure out here. Boss, this isn't a meth lab. So why an escape tunnel? Need to take a look at this. Hotchner. When? Did they raise the terror alert? No, that's probably best. All right, get everybody in now. I'll be there in a minute. What's going on? Nothing. I just have to go to the office. It's 6:15, and you're talking about a terror alert? It's bad, isn't it? I don't know yet. Please don't lie to me. It might be. I may not be home tonight. I mean, - I might be home late. - I know. Shoot. I forgot. Tomorrow is the day we... scheduled to take Jack - to have his pictures taken. - Don't worry about it. - I'll reschedule. - No, no, no. Go ahead and take him, and I'll do my best to be there, okay? Just come back safely. I will. Bye. Everybody, meet agent Prentiss. The other day. I've been filling her in on protocol. - Derek Morgan. - Emily Prentiss. We can make nice later. What do we know? The DEA raided what they thought was a hardened meth lab right here, in Northern Virginia, but they found this instead. That could be a dispersal device for a chemical weapon. - Sophisticated. - Homeland security's thinking Al Qaeda. They've developed devices that span the spectrum of sophistication, some as simple as soda bottles and paint cans. They're called al ikhteraa. Literally "the invention". They are. Do we know what the biological or chemical agent is yet? No, not yet. The cell members bailed out through a tunnel. The DEA recovered a nextel 2-way and managed to intercept a message. - That's not the transcript. It's... - No, it's in arabic. Our friends surprised us and eloped. We can no longer wait for the wedding as planned. We can deliver our gift at the next crescent. I lived in several middle-eastern countries - growing up. - Next crescent? Muslims sometimes use a lunar calendar. - I'd have to look it up... - Next crescent moon is in two days. So whatever they're attacking, it's happening in less than 48 hours. That sounds like it, sir. Payment for the nextel is linked to this man. Jind Allah. Literally "soldier of God". That's pretty poor operational security for a sophisticated plot. Two months ago, Jind Allah was captured leaving the U.S. Using a forged pakistani passport via Richmond international airport. He's been held as a ghost detainee in Guantanamo Bay ever since. So technically, he doesn't exist. Soldier of God isn't a name. No, it's most likely a name taken on for the Jihad, meaning struggle. Extremists claim it's a holy war. Yet the words "holy" and "war" never appear together in the Qu'ran. - Do we know his real name? - CIA interrogators - have gotten nothing out of the guy. - They need us to break him. We do know from past intercepts that he's a recruiter. He came into this country to assemble the omega cell, a sleeper cell with an unknown mission. We have 48 hours to do what the CIA hasn't been able to manage in two months. We could be looking at the first attack on our soil since 9/11. - Hey. - Car here? I told Reid 5 minutes. I think you should take Prentiss with you to Guantanamo. - Excuse me? - She could be of help. I don't know enough about her abilities. - There's plenty for her to do back here. - I don't know what she's capable of either, but we've got to find out sooner or later. It's an interrogation, not a training exercise. She's the only member of the team fluent in arabic. - There are other translators. - Yeah, but they haven't studied behavior. She ever have her ready bag yet? My guess is there isn't much this woman's unprepared for. Car leaves in 4 minutes. Yes, sir. Dale Turner mused: "Some of the best lessons are learned from past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom of the future." Excuse me, sir. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate... do not thank me. - Sir? - It's not a favor. - Of course. I know that. - You're coming to do a job. Do you think the interrogation of Jind Allah will work in time? Interrogation's the most dynamic form of profiling. That's not an answer. Sir. He's been locked away in Gitmo. He doesn't know we raided the cell's safe house. That's an advantage for us. The main thing is to get him talking about anything. Then his language and body movements will betray him. It's like this- you focus on the way your opponent holds his piece. How quickly and firmly he places it. Then you watch his face and body. It'll telegraph a player's strategy, his... training, maybe his motivations. - Is that what you need us to do? - No. I need you to listen. You're fluent in arabic. I won't know the nuances like you. Every word, every phrase. Be on the lookout for subtext, ulterior meanings. - What do you want me to do? - I want you to watch for tells. Non-verbals, micro-expressions. Watch him when he's comfortable and relaxed, then note the behavioral changes when he's under stress. If we can establish a baseline, we'll be able to read him once I challenge his belief systems. Before I can get him to give up where or how they'll attack, I'll first have to cause him to reveal something of himself. - Game over. - What are you talking about? Gitmo's runway is perpendicular to cuban airspace, so approaching aircraft have to negotiate a... last minute 90 degree right turn in order to land. They call it the Gitmo twist. - I was winning. - Actually, he would have had you in 3. - Bonnie Ryan. - Aaron Hotchner. - DEA team. We ran this raid. - Derek Morgan. This must have slowed you down some? Hell enough for them to get out through the tunnel. They must have done escape drills. - Hey, Morgan. - Hey, Kenny. Been a minute, man. Yeah. - We good in here? - Yeah, don't worry about it. Everything's been rendered safe. These guys weren't messing around. Hotch, these tubes surround what would be the explosive charge. And this cylinder right here? It's gotta be where they put whatever bio or chem agent they plan on dispersing. - That's a happy thought. - Yeah. Tell me about it. Looks like a 4 man cell. They assimilated into the community. Just like any other suburban gangster wannabes rolling at the mall. Who do you think we're dealing with? Most likely middle-eastern males in their early twenties. Judging by that device out there, they're looking at significant targets: Military installations, government buildings. You must be the BAU boys. And gal. Pardon me. - I'm Jason Gideon. - Andy Bingaman, FBI. - Agent Prentiss, Dr. Reid. - Hi. I'm the intelligence supervisor here at Gitmo. You guys having a hard time getting Jind Allah to talk? Not only can't they get him to budge, but 2 weeks ago, word got out that one of the other detainees was spilling secrets. Jind Allah managed to have a 3 minute conversation with him in the shower line. That night, the other detainee committed suicide. He's reciting the Qu'ran from memory. He's most likely a hafez. He must have done it a dozen times since he's come to this facility. Some muslim children are able to do it since age 12. Two months of interrogation, that's all the CIA's been able to get out of him. There are cuts and bruises under his right eye socket. What kind of tactics are they using? I control the actions to the detainees, but I can assure you, my protest about their methods has been ignored. Let the interrogation proceed normally. I'm gonna interrupt and demand they stop harassing. Maybe I should tell them in advance. No, it's better if they don't expect it. The reaction will be more visceral, more believable. - Go ahead with phase 2 as planned. - Copy that. You really gonna put a show on for these guys? No, no for them. For Jind Allah. He's needs to see me as a complete contrast to what he's come to expect from his captors. It's the best way to jump start him into talking. We have less than 36 hours. Have at it. You two ready? - Yeah, this way. - Thank you. Do you understand? Every day... who the hell are you? Supervisory special agent Jason Gideon. I'm an FBI behavioral analyst. It's time to show this man some respect. You gotta be kidding me. You have orders from agent Bingaman to leave so I can speak with this detainee alone. I'm sorry for the treatment you've suffered. If you don't mind, I'd like to spend some time with you. He stopped his recitation. He's sizing Gideon up. If I don't mind? Like to get to know you as a person. Your faith, your ideology. To what end? Studying human behavior is what I do. if these guys are fundamentalists, you'd think they'd have Qu'rans, - prayer mats. - No. We didn't find any of that here. They must have at least one other location. Ryan, - Hotch. - What is it? That looks like a list of chemicals. Let me check with Garcia. - Go, doll. - Hey, I'm gonna read off a list to you. These are chemicals. I'd like to believe, with greater understanding one day, we can come to a peaceful resolution of our differences. Is that so? Look, I don't know what you've done or what you may have planned to do. But unlike the other detainees here, you have the education, intelligence to convey the nuances of your culture. That's what interests me. Until, I don't give you what you want. Then you will resort to other tactics. I swore an oath to uphold the United States constitution, no matter where I am, no matter who I deal with. You're sure? All right. - What'd she say? - Garcia says this looks like a list of additives needed to weaponize anthrax. Could they get enough anthrax? The letter sent to senator Tom Daschle's office in 2002 only contained two grams of purified spores, enough to kill 25 million people if effectively distributed. Are you willing to have a chat with me? Go ahead. Gideon. Let's chat. He's from Egypt. Cairo. - You sure? - No, he could be yemeni, but odds are he's egyptian. What type of name is Gideon? American. I often forget that in your culture, you put your country first and your god last. Sir, he was born and raised in egypt. They pronounce "J" sounds as a "G". You don't consider yourself egyptian as well as muslim? Egyptian. In two minutes, you know more about me than those thugs found out in two months. They and I have... very, very different motives and methodologies. And yet your country relies on them to protect you from us. Sometimes they're their own worst enemy. Yeah. Who is your worst enemy, agent Gideon? It's not a who. It's a what. Ignorance. You're a very honest man. And you? Must have become a hafez by what, - age 10? - 9. Any person with the discipline and dedication to memorize the entire Qu'ran by age 9 must have a very serious reason to choose a life of violence. Perhaps. We are through already? No, not at all. The sun is about to set. Mecca's in that direction. I'll have a prayer rug and water bowl sent in. What the heck is going on here? The NSA is routing all messages to us for language analysis. You know, rumor has it, much to my chagrin, that during national security emergencies, our fair country turns all of its satellites homeward and records all electronic traffic in the whole U. S. A. Is this even legal? Yeah, I don't really want to think about that right now. Somewhere in this slew of chatter could be a shred of something that could save a whole lot of lives. All right, well, cross reference gift with wedding allusions. They'll be consistent with their code. Here's something. It rained all over the wedding, but the gift is waiting in the barn. - When was that call made? - Looks like just over two hours ago. Let's run the words "barn and "wedding" through. The wedding will now be held at Vincent's barn off Link and Annandale. - Wrap the gift for delivery. - That's not a gift I wanna get. I'll call Hotch. Yeah, JJ. We think we just found the cell's backup location. It looks like a construction site in Annandale, Virginia. Sounds like they may have another device ready to arm. I'll get agent ryan to organize another raid. And notify Gideon and Reid. Okay. Can I offer you some water? I offer you some first. They only kept it there to show me what I could not have. I'd like you to explain something to me. How can you ignore the fact that Muhammad preached passivity while he was in Mecca? "Do no violence". His later message from medina was perfectly clear. "When violence come upon you, you must fight back with violence. He's quoting from the Hadith, not from the Qu'ran. It's called the verse of the sword. They argue that it cancels out earlier teachings. Verse of the sword. Just someone's spin on the words of the prophet. It's not even part of the Qu'ran. But it does say in the Qu'ran fight and slay the infidels wherever you find them and seize them in every stratagem of war. Unless they repent. Establish regular prayers and practice regular charity. Is it your intention, Mr. Gideon, to become a man of faith and revert to islam? I am a man of faith. I have repented, I pray regularly, and I practice charity. I have never committed violence against you, so how is it that my faith would allow you to live and worship as you please, and yours would take my life and snuff it out? You are simply misguided people of the book. - But if you revert to islam... - A billion muslims. one billion muslims manage to practice their faith in peace... for Allah is surely merciful. You... inquired about my childhood earlier. I will tell you... that it was a happy one until... one day... a bomb fell out of the sky and leveled the bazaar that I was in with my family. I was only 8. Must have been horrifying for such a young boy. He's opening up about himself. Maybe. We need to verify what he's saying, though. Speak. Garcia, I need you to check something for me. I'm looking for a stray bombing in a bazaar somewhere in Egypt approximately 30 years ago. Okay, great. That's not too obscure. I don't need you to give me details. We're just trying to set a baseline for Jind Allah's truthfulness. - I need to know if it happened at all. - When I know, you'll know. - Thank you. - When the rubble was cleared... half... of my family was dead. It was on that day that I swore my life to vengeance for Allah. And for that very reason, those holding you here can never let you leave. Your only hope is to tell me so I can hopefully one day share your struggle with the world. Your government won't even admit that I exist. How possibly can you tell my side of the story? Hey, guys, we want silence tonight. No coms. Let's be careful. We don't know what to expect. - Ready? - Ready. Let's do it. Clear! This place is completely empty. We missed them again. You got Gideon, Prentiss, and me. It's Hotch. We're at cell location number 2. No cell members, no lab, no dispersal devices. We're still looking for escape tunnels. Call us. We're running out of time. The attack's supposed to take place in less than 24 hours. So getting Jind Allah to talk is our only chance of finding them. - Time I confronted him with the truth. - What are you going to do? Show him my hand. I'm going to give you the respect of telling you what just happened. A team of agents raided an omega cell location. Actually, both of them. Our men are in place in Annandale as we speak. You gain nothing by remaining silent. Jihad is forever. Something's wrong. His hands. Gideon, something's wrong. This guy seemed relieved by what you just told him. Excuse me. - What's the problem? - Get everybody out of there. - Now! Now! Now! - Everybody out. It's a trap. Now! I said out! Go! How did a terror cell get its hands on anthrax without a single lab reporting a security breach? Would we know if a foreign lab had a breach? A foreign lab? Actually, no. Garcia, isn't Annandale where Morgan and Hotch are? That's not a gas main explosion. Please pick up. Please pick up. Please pick up. Yeah, it's Morgan. Hello? Garcia, can you hear me? We saw the explosion on TV. Yeah, I know. We lost a S.W.A.T. agent. Oh, God. Don't worry. Don't think you're gonna get rid of me that easy. Do you need anything? I know who to call if I do. Thanks, baby doll. They're all right? Yeah. We lost a S.W.A.T. agent. Son of a bitch. Sorry about Kenny. Yeah, me, too. The chatter was a set-up. They knew we'd be listening. They led us straight here. Just tell me you know where to look next. Not yet. They're okay? We were right about the trap. It was rigged to explode. A S.W.A.T. agent was killed. - Was anthrax involved? - No. Then that's not the final target. You look troubled, my friend. You killed one of my men. I was here with you. The second location was a trap. One of my agents was killed in the explosion. This is war. We expect casualties. Shouldn't you? - He was a good man. - Well... if he would convert, there would be no reason for him to fear death. What do you say to his family? I say: Where... were you to mourn... when my son was murdered? - His son? - Did you see that? When he told the story about his childhood, the bomb landing in the bazaar, his behavior changed. We know he was lying. Garcia couldn't find any record of a bombing during the time Jind Allah was a boy. Exactly, but this time when he mentioned his son, he looked at his hands, like he had to concentrate to control his anger. That first story wasn't about him. It was about his son. Which means it must have been more recent. Garcia. I need you to look for a bombing again in Egypt, but this time anything in the last ten years. On it. We're looking for civilian casualties, an 8-year-old boy. Okay. I'm cross referencing bombings and child victims. Seven years ago, in the heart of Cairo, egyptian government blamed Hezbollah, but conspiracy theories on the street claimed it was a joint U. S-Israli strike that went astray. Your ghost detainee's name is Jamal Abaza. How about his son's name? Do you have that? Amir Abaza. 8. Killed in the blast. All right. Find out everything you can on that. I'll get back to you soon. We know his real identity. It appears that there will be no peaceful resolution to our difficulties after all. I haven't given up that hope. It's time for your Salut-ul-Isha prayers. May we speak again tomorrow? You are asking me? Yes. Tomorrow, then. Jamal Abaza's been in the U.S. for a while. He volunteered as the prison imam at the Dearfield correctional center - three years ago. - How could the CIA not know that? They're focused overseas. We're domestic. Yeah. They probably sent a request for a domestic information search, and it's somewhere making its way through channels. If he was a prison imam, he must have recruited militant islamic society members. M.I.S. Is an atypical prison organization. They pick up an amalgam of ethnicities. The Qu'ran says... that my lord... this fool knows that slip through the cracks, the ones that traditional groups won't accept. Outside these walls, you need to understand... It's made up largely of american citizens. American citizens with a reason for hating the government. We're looking at home grown terrorists. - What the hell do you want? - The name jamal abaza. Does it mean anything to you? Abaza was an imam in Cairo. He preached Jihad to his followers, but he fell off the grid seven years ago. That's because when his son died, he took the Jihad name: Jind Allah. He came to America to recruit sleeper cells. You're telling us that that detainee in there is Jamal Abaza? Amazing what you learn when you talk to people. He was also a prison imam in Virginia three years ago. Are you familiar with the militant islamic society? They're home grown? We know the cell that abaza put together has access to anthrax, but we can't find any reports of any going missing in the States. We have protocols that we have to follow. You really going to allow a terrorist attack on U.S. soil because of protocols? I told you what I learned in there because you and I, FBI, CIA, right now we have the ability to break through all the protocol and share information. Let me see what we have. Coordinate with agent Jareau and Penelope Garcia at Quantico. Please. - Think it'll work? - I don't know. CIA's tough. They play it pretty close to the vest. Well, if we don't all work together, more people are gonna die. A lot more. - How goes with the CIA? - I don't know what Gideon said to them, but they are feeding me information like crazy. - They sure do generate intelligence. - Yeah. Hopefully not too much to interpret. Slept well? For the first time since I've been here. Good. Until yesterday, I was not permitted regular prayer. We receive comfort from our prayers. - We? - Human beings. I say something wrong? You placed us on the same level. - Aren't we? - Well, here... I am thought of as less than human. And in your Jihad, I am. Gideon... what do you really want from me? I already told you. I want to understand you. And if that is not possible? Then that would be my loss. It's almost time for your midday prayers. May I return later? - I look forward to it. - Thank you. Most of these tips are so new they haven't even been authenticated yet. Yeah, but there's nothing in the established information that's remotely helpful. Wait a minute. Anthrax. - What? - Genimmune. A dutch biotech firm reported that they may have had a security breach - involving anthrax last week. - May have? They're still doing a security and inventory sweep, but they may be missing up to 20 grams of lab grade anthrax. 20 grams. Could potentially kill a quarter billion people. He seems much calmer than he was yesterday. May make any reading of his body language less accurate. I know. - Is that what we want? - I hope so. Well, isn't that the exact opposite of... He hopes so? We have less than ten hours before the new crescent moon rises. Nine. Aren't you worried? I've been with him long enough to trust him. CIA is funneling you their dutch terror watch list. Ok, I can cross reference that with any port of entry information we have as well as customs and immigration enforcement. You know, it would sure be a lot easier if there was a centralization of all this information. Oh, dream on, JJ. No one wants the other kids peeing in their sand box. Tariq Muhammad. Dutch citizen, islamic convert. Traveled here 4 days ago under his original name. Andre Janssen. And we have the address he listed on his customs form. Thank you. - We just got a lead. - Got a name? And an address. How does a terrorist cell exists right here in Mayberry? Infrared scanning still shows no one inside. We're doing a soft entry in case it's booby trapped. Sir, get in here! We have 5 deceased males and what looks to be a crude lab, all shot in the head execution style. - Any anthrax on the scene? - Only residue. There's also packing and tags from 4 new backpacks. - All right, listen up. - Backpacks? They're already on the move. We're too late. Have you finished? As you said, the sun is set. Yes. I'd like you to meet a colleague of mine. Dr. Reid. - May we speak? - Of course. I have a little time. That was a joke. I have all the time. Please. A joke. - Well, we're making progress. - Yes, progress. That is true. Is there no way for this thing to end? This Jihad? The Jihad will end when Allah wills its end. Then how will you know that it is Allah's will? When the Jihad ends. I have been lying to you. Of course you have. My colleague has been outside watching us as we talked on monitors. Watching your body language, trying to figure you out. Were you successful? Somewhat. Your name is Jamal Abaza. Your son Amir was killed in 2003 in the bombing at the Mahfouz bazaar in Cairo. Since then, you've been recruiting M.I.S. members in prison by convincing them that U.S. Economic policies are exploiting third world nations and turned them into extreme fundamentalists by promising a better existence with Allah. I would say that you were more than somewhat successful. But I did not learn where your M.I.S. cell was going to make an anthrax attack in the U.S. At the new crescent tonight. I have no knowledge of such a thing. Yes, you do, Mr. Abaza. And there is still time. What? Are you sure? Something has happened? How could you? You choose to contort islam into an excuse for a life of violence. You have perverted your faith - to justify murder. - Now we are finally chatting, Gideon. You accuse americans of being puppeteers of the third world, yet you used your own people's faith tonight to make them dance for you. Why? Why is it always those who profess to be the most fervent believers in this war? They always manipulate other people to die for them. Does your president go into battle? Or does he send your children? Tonight... all those innocent people. There is no such thing, Gideon. They were infidels. And they were engaged in activities that spread american policies over the entire world. Your incessant need to own things, material things. Your capitalism rests on the back of third world countries. No one's hands are clean. No one is innocent. Those people tonight, they were innocent. They never hurt you. They hurt me by existing. Yes, the infidels shall fall at the hands of the righteous. And that is when the Jihad will end. So you are ready to murder 4 billion people. America has learned nothing from the past. You harden targets like your power plants, but you leave the soft root for our taking. What has happened tonight will affect your economy for years, the way september 11th affected air travel. And maybe the next time a giant shopping center opens, people will think twice before going. And maybe next it will be a school. Hey! You can shut the video feed down now, Garcia, thanks. Has the sun not set yet? No. A shopping center. A mall. It's a grand opening tonight not long after sunset. That gives you about an hour. God help us if they don't make it. - Let's hope we have somewhere to go. - Grand opening of the USA mall today. It's the third largest in the country, and it's right smack in the middle of McLean, Virginia. Let's move. What's going on with you? You look like you've seen a ghost back there. Haley's supposed to take Jack to the new mall to have his portrait taken. - Well, go ahead and call her. - It's a breach of security. You'll lose Haley and Jack, screw this job. You won't have a life. I can't reach her. Morgan, I'm going to find the security office. - Morgan! - Right here. - Looks like loading dock security. - Should we evacuate? No, no. We'd have mass panic. Let's go. Hello? - FBI. - FBI? - Are these all your security cameras? - Yes, sir. - What's this camera here? - That's the roof. East end. Morgan, I've got 4 guys on the east end of the roof. - What's on that side of the roof? Nothing. No access doors to the mall? Not unless you go through the air vents. Morgan,it's the air vents. They're going for the air vents. Don't move! Put the devices down and put your hands where I can see them! Gun! Police tonight foiled an apparent robbery attempt at the new usa mall, which presumably have marred an otherwise successful grand opening. Haley? Hey,in here. You're home. Did you see that there was an attempted robbery at the new mall? I'm glad I cancelled jack's photos. I just decided I wanted you to be there. It's better if we do it as a family. Is everything ok? Yeah,everything's perfect. Ralph waldo emerson once said in order to learn the most important lessons of life, one must each day surmount a fear. When did you know you were gonna have to trick him? The first time I talked to him. You realized you couldn't break him? Well,I realized he was too smart to have had that nextel phone registered to him accidentally. He drew us there. He wanted our presence at gitmo to confirm that he was successful. And that's when you started moving up the time of his prayers. If I'd used an actual clock, he might have caught on. So it was all a chess game. We won this round... but you heard him. Jihad never ends. Mate. I quit. Yield. Surrender. Capitulate. I'm gonna take a nap. Prentiss. Sir? You play? Okay, these are for school-- lunch and two snacks-- one to eat, one to trade. Oh, and this is for dinner in case your dad makes that chicken thing with the cherries. - Hello. - Hey. - Dad! - Hey, pal. - Hi. - Hi. Mind if I use your bathroom? I've got to make a pit stop. Not a full pit stop-- just an oil change. I'm going to pee. So do you like the zipper bags better than the pinchy kind? We don't have to do the small talk. - Oh, thank you. - Okay. Buddy, put your backpack on. Okay, have a good day at school. I'll call you tonight to tell you that I love you and to say good night, okay? Okay, Mom. I love you. Oh, that is so sweet. Reminds me of my mom. Not that you're as old as my mom. My mom is young. She looks great. You look great. - We're going to go wait in the car. - Great, great, great. - Bye, Mom. - Bye. # Oh, baby, I love your way # # Every day # # Wanna be with you night and day # # Every day # Why are you singing that...? Oh, my God. You just had sex. No, I didn't. I was peeing. I thought I made that clear. No, no, no, no. That's your sex song. You always sing it after you... perform your act. - No, I don't. - Yeah, yeah. Who are you talking to, buddy? I was there. When we were married, I heard it many, many times. And then not so much at the end. - All right, so I had sex. - Yep. Christine and I have been dating for over three months. You can't be surprised. Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm not surprised. I mean, I never really thought about it. But, hey, if you want to jump into the sack with the first girl who comes along, be my guest. Be... my... guest. Actually, she's not the first. Right after you and I split up, I got one under my belt. "Under your belt"? What are you, a pirate? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. Obviously, you haven't had any and you're a little... Anyway, it's nothing to be ashamed of. We've been divorced for two years, which means you haven't had sex in... just over three years. Yikes. Okay, for your information, Richard, I have had plenty of sex. I don't tell you everything. I've had it under my belt. Over my belt, around my belt. You know, I've pretty much worn out my belt. Really? So plenty of sex? Hey, when I gots to have it, I gots to have it. Look, it's not a competition. You'll be ready when you're ready. Hey, I'm ready. I'm ready right now. Then I gots to go. I didn't mean from you. I got plenty guys coming here to get some sex... All right, what about the one with the mystic tan and the butterfly clip? Yep, I think she's having sex, too. Are you kidding me? What about you? Are you doing it? You know, maybe sex isn't your thing. Maybe your thing is more having awkward conversations with your employees. Sex used to be my thing. God, in fact, senior year in high school, I was a little bit of a slut. That's what I was known for. I mean, that and my laugh. You do have a nice laugh. Oh, thanks. God, I used to be fun. Then I became a mom, you know. I used to be turned on by the touch of a man. Now I'm turned on by a sale at Target. If I could just get a guy to touch me at Target, I'd be gold. So have sex. I can't. It's complicated. You know, I'd have to find a boyfriend who likes kids, and then I'd have to make sure that Ritchie likes him, and what if he has kids? I mean, whose house do we stay over at? You don't need to have a boyfriend to have sex, Peggy Sue. Have a one-night stand. Get one under you belt. Do you know that you are the second person to use that expression. Ever? No, not ever. God, a one-night stand. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I mean, where would I go, what would I do, go to a singles bar? You could. But that would mean hopping in a time machine and going back to when singles bars existed. Well, I mean, where do you go? I get most of my action at the grocery store. Really? God. 'Cause I go to the Ralph's on Pico and it's all skateboarders and lesbians. That Ralph's is dead. Try the Whole Foods on Fairfax. I can't remember the last time I left that place alone. I have to say, I feel really uncomfortable about this. Well, I need company. It would seem too whorey if I came to a grocery store to pick up a guy alone. And bringing your brother along makes it seem wholesome? And why are you even doing this? I just want to feel like a woman again. Help me be a woman again, Matthew. Please don't make me do that. Come on, you're a guy. You do this kind of thing all the time. What do I do? I don't know. Just act sexy. I can act sexy. What the hell are you doing? I'm acting sexy. Looks like you're trying to get a cobra out of a basket. Hey, this move killed for me in the '80s. That's great. If a Duran Duran concert suddenly breaks out, you'll be set. All right, I got it, I got it. Here goes. Hi. My name is Christine Campbell. I'm divorced, but I get along great with my ex-husband. We're just better as friends. Anyway, I'm not crazy. I'm very stable. In fact, I own my own gym. It's one of those 30-minute workout places for women. I make decent money, though. But most of it goes to my son's private school. But I'm not a snob. I'm very down to earth. I just want what's best for my son. His name is Ritchie, we live in Mar Vista. Excuse me. Sorry. Way to play it cool. This is hard. It doesn't have to be. I just think the most important thing for you is going to be let him do the talking. Right. Okay, you're right. I got it. I got it this time. Hi. Hi. Excuse me. That was better. I am not cut out for this one-night stand thing. It's not for everybody. I mean, I know it seems silly to you, Matthew, but I just wish somebody would notice me. Not as a mom or as a carpool captain, but as a woman. Do you know how long it took me to do this to my hair? A minute? No. A long, long time. God, this is impossible. Come on, let's get out of here. I'm never going to meet anybody in a grocery store. You met someone, didn't you? Yeah, we had a moment over by the goat milk. I think she's into me. I'll see you at home. Are you done with that cart? Hey, knock yourself out. Wow. I don't want to embarrass you, but your hair is really pretty. It must take you a long time to make it do that. You're in a good mood. Yeah, I'm always in a good mood. Like when? Like always. Like the night you were born. - And then... today. - Yep. Okay. Off you go to school. Bye, darling. I love you so much. - Bye, Mom. - Bye. See you later, alligator. - Good morning, Christine. - Good morning. Good morning, ladies. What's wrong? You're smiling. What do you mean? I always smile. No. No you don't. No, it's something else. Wait a minute-- did you have sex? Marly, I think you're right. Look, her neck muscles have relaxed and she's not doing that crazy thing with her eyes. Admit it. Maybe I did... and maybe I didn't. You did. When did you get a boyfriend? You don't need a boyfriend to have sex, Peggy Sue. Oh, yes. I got addicted to one of those things. Almost broke up my marriage. What? Oh, no, no. Not that. No, no, no, I met someone, and, you know, we had a nice time-- that's all there is to it. Wait, you're not going to see him again? Maybe I will, and maybe I won't. You can do that? Apparently, I can. Oh, crap. Here comes Sad Dad. Who's Sad Dad? Yeah, that's the other side of divorce. His wife left him three years ago for her personal trainer and he's been moping around the school ever since, trying to get any woman to show him the slightest bit of attention. Oh, that is so pathetic. Which one is he? Hey! Oh, my God, what are you doing here? You looking for me? Uh... uh, no, my kid goes to this school. No way. My daughter, Alice, goes to school here. Wow. You would think that that would have come up last night. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no! Don't answer that. Why? Who is it? Hi. We're very busy. Please leave a message. Hi, baby. It's me, Stan. I was just sitting here on my bed eating dinner by myself, and I'm looking at the place where we, you know, were last night, and... Holy cow! It's still warm! Oh, wait. That's because I put my spaghetti pot on it. I make a good sauce. I take a jar of Paul Newman's, and I add... Wait, what happened? I slept with him. No, with the sauce. What did he add? I picked the worst person to have a one-night stand with. He's a parent at Ritchie's school! He's depressed, he's needy. Well, it sounds like you two have a lot in common. What was I thinking going to the supermarket, picking up a random guy for sex? Huh. Out loud, it sounds foolproof. Oh, this is awful. Sad Dad isn't going away. "Sad Dad"? Isn't that sweet. You guys already have pet names for each other. Shut up, Matthew-- you've got to help me. Just pick up the phone and tell him the truth-- he was a one-night stand, and you never want to see him again. No. I'm gonna handle this my way. I'll cut my bangs and eat a Dove bar and go to bed. Hey, did you hear that? He must've gotten the message. Christine. Uh, I think the guy that you... you know, the other night when you and he... dirty. All right. I know. Just let him in, okay? I'll get this over with. Thanks. Hey, lover. Hey. Mmm, that was nice. Yeah. So, have a seat. Wow. I haven't been in a gym in a long time. Not since my wife left me for her trainer. It's okay, though. It's been great for my daughter. She loves her new dad, and... she's in the best shape of her life. Look, uh, Stan... the other night, I was in a particularly vulnerable place, and, um, I think what happened between us was a little quick. Oh, I know. Sorry again. Oh, no, no, no! I-I-I mean that I think we should go back to being friends. Yeah, but we were never friends. Well... maybe we should go back to being pre-friends, you know, like the way we were last week. But we-we didn't know each other last week. Perfect. Are you breaking up with me? In a gym? I can't believe this is happening again! Stan, I'm so sorry, I really am. You're such a nice man, and I actually did have a great time the other night, but I'm just not looking for a relationship right now. I mean, the... the truth is, I haven't had sex in three years. Really? You wouldn't know it the way you jumped right back in with the dirty talk. Okay, no, look, Stan, listen, you are my one under the belt, okay, a fling, all right? But it's over, it's finished. Wow. That's too bad. 'Cause I really like you. You're so foxy and nice. I even... made you this mix tape. Oh. You remembered my favorite band is Supertramp. Well, I slept with him again. And it was even worse this time, because he made me feel so self-conscious about the dirty talk. Hi. I'm your brother, and I think you remember your ex-husband, Richard. Yeah, Matthew was just filling me in. He didn't mention the dirty talk. I didn't even know about the dirty talk. Now I got to go call Mom back. Don't! Don't! I can't believe Matthew told you. Don't blame Matthew. I already heard about it. It's all over school. The fourth graders are doing their class project on it. Christine... what are you doing? I don't know. It was our conversation the other day, okay? You're right, I haven't had sex in three years, you know? And you can get completely out of the habit of it, you see? And before you know it, your neck muscles are straining and your eyes are doing all these crazy things. So you just went out and picked up the first guy you saw? He wasn't the first. Th-The first three said no. Wow, it's like a romance novel. He said I was foxy. When I say it out loud, it doesn't really seem like a good enough reason to sleep with somebody, but... it was 10:00 at night, on a sidewalk, in front of a grocery store, you know? I was all good to go. Please don't tell me any more, mother of my child. And then I tried to break up with him today, but he made me a mix tape. Supertramp? They are so good. I know it sounds a little pitiful, but, I mean, it was my first time out there, and I just... I-I wasn't sure if anybody was gonna want me. Are you kidding? Christine, you're incredibly sexy. In fact, sometimes I still scream out your name during sex. Oh, you do? Oh, shut up! She has my same name! That's true. But I still think you're sexy. Well, yeah, whatever. Anyway... I got one under my belt, okay? I feel good. Now I can move on. - You gonna get that? - No. Oh, this is ridiculous. I got to do this. Sorry, it does that sometimes. My wife got the good car. So, how you doing? Well, Stan, we need to talk. I know. I can't do this anymore. What? You're nice and sweet, Christine, but... I just don't think this is working out for me. What? Why? Well, you know, I haven't been around much, and... I think you just might be a little too fast for me. Fast? It's been three years! I got a kid that goes to this school. I got to think of my reputation. Your reputation? If anything... I helped your reputation. Giving some of this is the best thing that ever happened to you. You did me. You know it! You made me a mix tape. Oh, my stomach hurts. Yeah, I would die. Transcript: Raceman - Synchro: Amariss It's a great neighborhood. Ry quiet,very private. There's an oversized backyard,that's a big plus. Whole house has been newly renovated. There are upgrades all over the place. Stainless appliances,air purification system, total move-in condition. The furniture is rented,but if you likit, I can have the company make you deal. Amy,you are going to love the kitchen, but first I'm going to show you guys the living room. It has a wall-mounted flat screen and a gas log fireplace. You won't believe how easy this is. One push of a button... isn't that cozy? NCIS Season 04 Episode 05 Make sure you capture the back of his head,too. - If you would be so kind. - You got it. - Sorry. - Sorry. There's no rush,gentlemen. Our patient isn't going anywhere. I don't know,ducky,the old gibbs is back. The old gibbs? Mcgee,over here. Hands and knees. On the floor okay,... yore not going to step on me,are you? Footprints. Footprints.XXXXX - it's a pretty tight weave. - Looks like sisal. It's a naturally stiff fiber woven from the leaf of a cactus plant. It doesn't mat,trap dust,build static. Makes it ideal for carpeting. Personally,I prefer a good shag. from a criminal-investigative standpoint. I don't see any dirty footprints. I think it's safe to assume that our friend didn't stroll in here on his own. You look happy to see me,boss. Oh,the coffee. Ran the military id our local leo's got off the body. Lance corporalames finn. Stationed at quantico. Went ua when his unit was shipped to iraq six months ago. Looks like he's got a pretty good reason for not showing. Find out where he was buried. It won't be far,mcgee. Had e trip been longer, some bits would have fallen off. Okay,I'll check the backyard. Scene's not going to skeh itself. Perhaps it would be better if you fetched the gurney,Mr. Palmer. I've seen all I need to see here. Yes,doctor. It's a tidy crime scene. Quite. It appears to be a body drop. A tertiary crime scene,or quaternary, or quinary... I could go on. Oh,you did. It's an odd decorating choice. Alough the corpse does give the place a certain lived-in look. You can see he brushed the dirt off his face. - Oh,geez! - Hello. Sorry. Nicrophorus americanus. So known as "the carrion beetle. " In here,you little mkey. Yes. A reminder that shakpeare got it wrong. We are not food for worms. It's the flies and beetles that feast upon us. I'm more interested in why someone did this,doctor. Then I'll have to research the predatory, manipulative, grandiose nature of this behavior. But my first impression is that we're dealing with a complete loon. That masters in psych is starting to pay off,ducky. merciful god in heaven. I have seen a loof things selling real estate, but can you imagine walking in,seeing that? When was the last time you were here? Yesterday morning. First showing. And everything was normal? There was no rotting corpse in the living room,if that's what you mean. Who else had access? A couple of dozen real este women. The keys are in a lock box on the front door. - Who's the owner? - A local contractor... and me. Uh,I buy and bob fixes. We split the profits. Bob? Robert whitehead,the contractor. A number where he can be reached? Yeah. So who put the body here,you or bob? Neither of us. Though it is an empty house. If you're looking to ditch a body,that's a real plus. Jody. I came as fast as I could. You okay? That's my husband- - I called him. Just duck under the tape,rick. Stop. It's a ime scene. Crime scene? Honey,you all right? - She's fine. - I am not fE. I had to cancel my 1:00 showing. Think I found where he was buried. Checked for footprints,but it rained last night, so everything's pretty washed out. You got access? There's side access at street level. Chain link fence around the yard, but any one with gloves could have scaled it. Wait for me! The real estate agent solve the big mystery? No,but she owns the property with a contractor and every real estate agent in town had access. I meant the mystery of how they expect to sell a house for 600 grand when it only has two and a half bathrooms. Well,you know what they say: Location,location... location. So,judging from the marks around the edges, looks like the digger used a garden spade. The soil's not real packed,so it wou have been easy digging for a male or a female. You see that? - Black plastic bags. - Garbage bags. Body bag. Get it back to abby,and a soil sample. I want ground-penetrating radar. Uh,boss,those techs are bookedeeks in advance. I'm going to tell them it's an emergency and I will not budge until they show. - Who's staying with mcgee? - I can. If you want tony to check out the other real estate women. Fine with me. Tony,stay with mcgee. You shouldn't have licked your chops like a hungry wolf. Much better. Before I smell like dirt and sweat. Now I smell like dt,sweat... and sandalwood. Good morning. What are you doing at my desk? Couldn't find my deodorant,so I used yours. No,you didn'T. Ye,we're partners. What's the big al? A hair! Come on,you attach electrodes to men's testicles. You getting squeamish about a hair? I'm not going to feel bad. Those ound radar techs didn't show till dawn. Mcgee and I watched the sunrise together. It was very brokeback mountain. He had me at "howdy. " How romantic. I'm sorry I missed it. Well,I can show it to you on my new phone-- it takes video. Behold the majesty of the sun. On a two-inch screen? Are we all getting those? Nope. I bought it. Expensive? Not really. Yeah,real. You've been dropping a lot ofash lately,mcgee. New phone,new watch,new teeth. What'up? Ducky matched the dental records. The body downstairs is lance corporal finn. Ziva,when did you... Mcgee,how long does it take to put on a clean shirt? Ten conds. With buttons,a little longer. Rhetorical question. Contractor's off the hook. He's been out of town for a week. Going to check on the real estate agents this morning. - That's all you did? - No. While you and mcgee were watching the sunrise, I was pulling lance corporal finn's srb. And I would have to say it was spotty. He was unc' on the range and failed his swiqual. - So they de him a supply clerk. - Right. Six months ago,he signed out on a three-day pass before deploying to iraq and he never returned home. - Get me his C.O. - He's in iraq. I'll contact mtac. I put in a request for finn's bank records, earning statements and medical records. Night wasn't a total loss. Ground radar picked up a shol about ten feet from the gravesite. Already sent it to abby. Yep. The old gibbs is back You see something,abs? Beauty. I mean,it's tragic,but if you were to see this tableau in a museum, you'd swear it was a brilliant commentary on the human condition. What? Corpse staring at a tv set? It says it all. Well,it doesn't say who put him there or why. That's for us to find out. You shaved your mustache. I liked you with a little hair on your face. - Still got my eyebrows. - Good point. I found finn's blood, hair and fingerprints on the plastic. So he s probably wrapped in it. But I didn't find any other prints on the plastic or the shovel. No chance of grabbing the gravedigger's sweat off the handle? After being undergroun it's unlikely. Strange case,huh? I had th friend once that used to display roadkill in his living room. - He had an nea grant... - abby. Um,next I analyzed the soil. It's compost material. Rocks and small sticks. Thing's over an inch long. It would indicate that it was processed through a screen. Pretty clean for dirt. It's a commercial product. But the house was just re-landscaped, so it's not surprising. I sent the acidity levels to ducky. I then inventoried finn's personal items. - Got anything with a date on it? - Nope.Sorry. No credit card or purchase receipts. I guess he was a cash guy. I mean if you can call a guy with $31.71 a sh guy. His clothes were dockers from sears. No judgments. The shirt is a large,the shoes are off-brand. And his underwear are boxer-briefs. Like you wear,gibbs. You're fishin',abs. Are they regular boxers? Trunks? Bikinis? Nothing? Mr. Palmer,have you finished the chromatographic analysis of his volatile fatty acid? Yes,doctor. Well,let's plug the numbers into the computer and let's how long our friend has been leaking into the topsoil. Agent gibbs will be here soon and he will ask... how'd the lance corporal die,doctor? "How he died" may take me a while. Try,"when did he die? " That's my next question. That,I can answer. It's a tricky calcution. One has to factor in temperature,soil acidity, and the variety and volume of insects who now call lance corporal finn their home. Give me a round number. 92 days,with a three-rcent margin of error. It would appear you deserted before you die gibbs,lance corporal finn's fianc? 's upstairs. She saw a report on the local news last night. W,doctor? As soon as I know,you'll know. Her name is siri albert.She's 25, lives in manassas,and works a physical therapist. Finn's fianc? is here. I put r in the conference room. You did? I did. No,I did. - His fianc? - Yeah,his fianc? . Tall? Light brown hair? Redhead. Someone has made a huge mistake. James isn't dead. He's been writing me letters from iraq. It's a common name. The news said he was born in jackson,pennsylvania. It's a small town. That james finn has been dead three months. He left for iraq three nths ago. I saw him the morning he went away. And I just got a letter from him last week. He says he misses me and he's working a lot. We'll need those. Okay,but I want them back. It's his handwriting. I recognize it. They've been coming for months. Now I want to know who that other woman is. We're not here to talk about that. Is she saying that she's engad to jimmy,too? 'Cause if tt's true, he better hope he's dead,or else I'll kill him. James and I connecte on a deep,spiritual level. From then on,any time he was in town, he was with me. How often did you see him? He would come and go a lot. But I understood. That's how it is with special ops. Lance corporal finn's record does not indicate he was involved with special operations. He said his missions were top secret. He wanted to tell me more, but he didn't want to put me in danger. When'd you last see lance corporal finn? Six months ago. Before he left for iraq. - How'd you meet? - At a bar. Two years ago. I was there with some girlfriends, and when I got up to go to the ladies' room, he blocked my path, said he couldn't keep his eyes off me. And that worked? What worked is that when we talked, he had something to say. Most guys won't shut up about their online war games, but this guy,he had seen real action. And I was feeling patriotic that night, so I invited him to come home with me. The sex was fantastic. When did you two get enged? About a week before he left. James wanted to borrow $30,000. Did he tell you what the money was for? Gambling debts. And if he didn't pay,they were gonna hurt him. Who? He said it was better if I didn't know. Because of the danger. Look,didn't give him the money. I loaned it to him. So you drew up a gal document? No. But we had aorai agreement. I me,he promised to pay me back. With interest. I mean,I maxed out all of my cards, so you better findhat money. What was he like the last time you saw him? He was sweet. We made love right before he left. Use a condom? I'm on the pill. We were engaged. Abs,can dna still be recovered from lance corporal finn's skivvies? It would take the cooperation of weather and protection. He was wrapped in plastic and it's been cold,so... there's a decent chance. Well,run the tests. We'll do a cheek swab on his fianc? s. Wait,did you say "fianc? s? " Like plural? Kinky. - Is that it? - For now,iri. I need to follow you home and pickp his belongings. I want them back when james returns. He's dead. He can't return. Look,I know he's not dead. I would feel it in my heart. We're soul mates. no. Agent lee. I need legal help. We have a suspect who's refusing a cheek swab. I'll file for a dna search warrant. What's the name? Rebecca kemp. I'll e-mail you the info. Listen... yomiss working with us? I think the legal department is more my speed. Why,do you miss me? Uh,sure. Boss... agent lee is getting us our cheek swab. Rebecca paranoid or guilty? Might just be angry. At finn,us,t world. Go back with her to h apartment,get finn's stuff. And,no,I don'want to wait for a search warrant. I'll grab my coat. Wait at the elevator. Okay. Hey,you. Where's my money? Yeah,you. Did you and jimmy spend it? Please get away from me. I don't know you. I am jimmy's fiancee. James loved me. - He used you. - You liar! Chick fight! He loved me! get off of me! Stop it! hey! Get off her! Get off her! get up. How'd this guy die,doctor? As I told you,when I know,you'll know. Know faster. Shaving off your moustache has brought back your usual impatience. Good. Means I'm doing my job. I do have a potential cause of death. But it's by no means airtight. See this fracture? Well,yeah,you're inting right at it. The brain revealed an epidurm hematoma, verified by this cat scan. Though it's far from massive. Statistically, it's only fatal in about 17% of cases. - Blunt-force trauma? - Most likely. We're looking at a baseball bat or a golf club, perhaps wielded by a disgruntled fianc? . You ll me how; I'll figure out who. Intelligence has placed la grenouille in nairobi. That might mean a shipment to somalia. We'll continue to monitor these activities. Just do ur best. Ssion trouble? It's need-to-kn. Initiate the video conference special agent gibbs requested. Have you figured out why somebody would unbury a body? That's need-to-know. You can't pull that one with me,jethro. I'm your boss. Iraq standinby,ma'am. I got your e-mail concerning nce corporal finn. I assume you've been over his srb. Yeah,we have,skipper. We'd like to know what's not on the record. Finn wasn't one of my stronger marines. Wasn't surprised he went ua. He have any enemies in the company? He was well-liked.Played poker. Not well,but covered his debts. Liked to talk about his sexual exploits in detail. You know how marines love at. How does a dead marine,stateside, send letters home from iraq? Wondered about that myself. Get over here,marine. Sir. Meet lance corporal hagan,soon to be priva hagan. Before deployment,finn gave him a couple hundred bucks to pop letters in the mail to two women the first batch started six months ago. The second,three months later. Got enough to last the st of our deployment. Gonna need those. Send 'em on the next flight out. Two fic? s... that a marinthing? That's need-to-know,too,director. - Do you see it yet? - No. Keep looking. Abby,I've been staring at this thing for five minutes. I don't see anything that I would consider to be art. But you took the picture. Just because ducky told me to. - I'm sorry. - That'okay. I'm sure you find other things beautiful. Like gibbs breaking up a chick fight. I can't believe I missed that. Well,I've got good news. Guess at is now playing on mcgee tv. I hug and kiss technology. You liar! mee-yow. Which one's siri? The one that gibbs is pulling off e other girl. It's always good to have a face to put with genetic material. You get a match on h off finn's clothing? Yeah. But not just her. There was a party in finn's pants. I found genetic material from two distinct females. - Siri and... - A mystery woman. That would explain why rebecca refused thcheek swab. Told us she hadn't seen him in six months. Play iagain. Plus,rebecca's got a lot of anger in her. Oh,I wouldn't assume siri is innocent. Why not? Look at the fight. Siri initiates it. She may not be as sweet as she looks. Get off her! - This is my favorite part. - Which part? I was lucky to get out of rebecca's apartment alive. She threw this at my head. Finn was reading moby dick? No,she was throwing it. I took it so she couldn't re-arm. Okay,let's see what he had at siri's place. - Razor and a toothbrush. - Razor and a toothbrush. Three pairs of white underwear. Three pairs... pinkish underwear. One black sock with a gold toe. Don't you hate it when you leave one black sock at one fiancee's house and the other one at the other's house? One pair of blue jeans. And one blacmesh t-shirt. Do women really like these? Depends on who's wearing it. - So if I... - no. Not much to go on. Only one place left to check. Tony just put his hand in ather man's pocket and it made him very happy. I found a pre-paid calling card. - That's it? - Yes. No engagement rings? You want those,too? I'll go to siri's and get the ring and any other gifts finn might've given her. Mcgee,you've got rebecca. How uid they have been so clueless? Well,he's dead,so maybe they weren'T. officer david. This is jody carvell. I am standing outside of the larson lane house. Are you aware that the police tape is still up? Yes,it's an ongoing investigation. It's the real-eate agent. Okay,for how much longer? It costs me money every day I can't show this house. - This is outrageous. - Yes,but I... - no,I... - I would like to speak to your pervisor,if I could. She wants to have a word with my survisor. miss kemp,it's is. We need to speak with you agN. Rebecca? Rebecca,what happened? Did you call 911? Hold on. Yes,I've got a woman here who's shot and needs immediate medical attention. why would someone unbury a body? I can answer that. To send a message.Like,"hi,I'm dead." "Never get engaged to two women at the same time"? It would be easier to jusrent a billboard. Second question. where's the money? ah,maybe in siri's engagement ring. I got to bring this down to abby. I can save you an elevator trip. oh,that's nice. It's creating condensation. On a real diamond,it evaporates immediately. It's,uh,staying. Because it's a fake. Give it one more try,just to make sure. I'm not blowing on you again. Question three. "Why buy a shovel?" -Oops. -No.Sorry. "Why bury a shovel?" I have no answer to that. But here,how about this one? who is darkman? that is thquestion. Liam neeson in the 1990 cult classic directed by sam raimi about a mentally unstable scientist who seeks revenge. You left out "who shot rebecca?" That was my next question. Siri claims she was out walking at the time of the shooting.no witnesses. Gsr tests came back negative. Even if siri shot rebecca, I don't think she killed finn. I saw her face when she saw his body. If siri's innocent,she'd assume that rebca's guilty and she'd seek revenge. Shting someone in broad daylight is just dumb. You're not thinking like a jealous woman, ziva. They're keeping rebecca in the hospital overnight. She lost a lot of blood,but the wound was through and through. Anything on the shooter? Said she didn't get a good look at her. How'd she know it was a her? Rebeccsaid she heard a female voice at the door. When she opened it,bang. Siri? Maybe not. When I went back to search rebecca's place, I found this between the couch pillows. Rebecca shot herself. I think so. She lost a lot today Her fiancee,her life savings. Her respect. Could have been a failed suicide attempt. Or a bid f sympathy. Or an attemptto escape discovery that she had sex with finn the day she died. What's your gut tell you,boss? Take your shirt off. Here we go. I know it's kind of messy. Thshirt,mcgee,take it off now. Take it down to abby. Or would you rather wait for a search warrant? Rebecca's dna. I need to borrow one of your shirts. You afraid all that white might burn out abby's corneas? Do not make me walk around like this all day. Come on.Help me out. All right. I can't resist a damsel in distress. **************************** Wow,it's just like chippende'S... without the bow ties or muscles. Givee a second. I just have to finish this e-mail to kofi annan. Kofi can wait. What is it,jethro? The finn case. Yes? You're lost on this e? Puzzled. They barely knew finn, yet they let him move in,loaned him money. They trusted a man who took advantage of them. If you're in a relationship and the other person is keeping secrets, how would you know? You'd know. I didn'T. Who lied to you? You did. Not exactly lied,but you just didn't tell me the whole truth either. You're comparing me to finn? I'm just saying that you can be involved with someone without fully knowing them. How could you not tell me about your family? Finish your e-mail. You wanted my advice. Just don't be too hard on the fiancees. Finn duped them. And I shouldn't have brought up the past. I know you had your reasons for not wanting to tk about it. We're talking about it now. Now is not paris. Your priorities were clear on paris. I had a job to do in europe. If I had told you about my first wife, would it have made a difference? We'll never know,will we? yeah.Gibbs. You went home early. Stayed until 2130. That's early for you. You called to talk about my work hours, Dr. Mallard? No,agent gibbs. I had a hunch which led me to trim lance corporal finn's nose hairs. I don't think he'd done it for some time. I discovered something under the micrcope. Amonthe keratin proteins, I found translucent fibers of glass. -Exactly. -Fiberglass? He must have inhaled them in. I'd say,most likely from insulation. Maybthe house wasn't just a body drop. 'S speaking softly, but lance corporal finn hamore to say. Would you mind clearing up,Mr. Palmer? Not at all,doctor. I know you've been putting in long hours recently. Just doing my job. I appreciate the can-do attitude. -Good night. -Ght,doctor. Agent lee,you're working late. Still organizing paperwork on the wheaton case,Dr. Mallard. I need the autopsy report. What happened to the one I se up to legal yesterday? I'm afraid I shredded it by mistake. You must be more careful. I know.I'm sorry,Dr. Mallard. No worries. I'm sure Mr. Palmer will give you what you ed. Okay.Thank you. that's about how it looked three months ago. The living room floor was the last thing we closed up. We ran the ac ducts under this section. The damn inspector was weeks late. You have security at night here,bob? Not on a job this size. We use standard fiberglass insulation, cdx subfloor. You see something? Well,yeah,your joist,24 inches on center. I wod have built them on 16. Then you wouldn't make a profit. That joist there look discolored to you? Could be mold. Mold spreads from the bottom up. Need a black.On it,boss. We'll be there soon. Boss,abby ran the prepaid phone rd we found in finn's pocket. Had only one call in it. It was to a self-storage company in dale city,virgia. Good.Call the storage... I did. how ****I was just taking a breath. I called the self-storage place. Finn paid for the un in cash, only signed in once, so I figured that ziva and i should probably get down therand check it out. Sorry abouthe breath. Kind of reminds me of pacific heights. Don't tell me. -A movie -yeah,interesting plot. Yuppie couple buys their dream house then the tenant from hell tries to destroy it. Michael keaton's best work. Looks like organic material. Would a two by six match finns head injury? Ducky thinks the blunt object hit his temple. Or maybe his temple hit a blunt object. Which would have landed him nose-first in th insulation. Get a sample of this wood back to abby. Oh,my god! Bob,why are you letting them destroy our property? They're cops,jody. What is she doing here? I called her. She should know what's going on. Well,it's coming out of your profits,bob. Wait a minute,jody. That sisal's expensive. You need to calm down,mrs.Carvell. Calm down? I just found a dead guy in the living room and I am losing money every day. Ohand my father just died of leukemia, so don't you tell me to calm down. I'm thinking before we open this up, maybe we should rub some vick's under our noses. I don't think we'll find a body. Hope not. Hate that. Nothing? Well,whatever lance corporal finn was planning on putting in here, he didn't get a chance to. Mcgee,give me your flashlight. You didn't bring your own? It's too heavy.It pulls my pants down. Now close the door. To the right.To the right. Yeah. Just,more to the left.More to the left. -Okay. -Okay,hold it. Yeah. too small to hold a body. Big enough to hold a head. Is that what I think it is? Oh,yes. Gold. Hey,got another dna sample to test it's a rush job. So,should I put it in front of my other rush jobs? Yes. Okay,I'll make a rush-rush job, and I'll get right on it, unless I get a rush-rush-rush job. Thanks,abs. Hey,um,could you tell gibbs that I got the results back from rebecca's dna? It does not match the genetic material in finn'shorts. That means we're... looking for third woman. Since you revisited the crime sce, I decided I want to revisit the body. Something's troubling me. Me,too. Uh-huh.What's that,tony? Well,finn had two entrees and still had room for dessert. Makes me wonder if there was anything, you know,special about him. Like what? Oh... like that. did he have extra women because he had sething extra for the women? Well,take a look for yourself. sadly,the first thing the maggots eat is the soft tissue. Still,you've given me an idea. To vomit? No,to reexamine the soft tissu thanks,tony. I do what I can. ducky,is there any way to... psychologically un-see something? Finn's bag contained 120 ounces of gold worth about $78,400 at today's conversion rate. Nt numbers? Tracing 'em now-- the coins were purchased over the internet in three batches. I should have the dates here in a moment. Figured $60,000 came from the fiancees, and finn must have tossed in the rest. officer david. Okay,first batch of gold purchased nine months ago and paid for with a money order. -The second batch... -that was abby. She was searching non-standard databases with the thirdoman's dna. She got a hit on a bone marrow donor bank. Pull it up. That's not what I expected. Her father died of leukemia. Pick her up. Take dinozzo with you. You interrogated her and didn't pick up she had sex with finn? It was an interview,not an interrogation-- and excuse me if my brain didn't go to the sex place. Mine would. I'm sure tt's why you have a leg up on other investigators. See? You say "leg up," i instantly went to the sex place. hey! Whoa,whoa,whoa! Hey,stop! stop! I'm sorry,I need to go. I have a showing... at ncis. What's going on? Hey.Hey! Stop pointing a gun at my fe. She tried to rat on us. -She means rabbit. -Rabbit. Yes. I was in a hurry for a showing. Are you arresting her? Taking her to ncis to answer a few questions. Well,I'm coming too. -Rick,you don't have to... -jody,I'm your husband. So why didn't you tell us you knew lance corporal finn? I s afraid that my husband would find out. That you killed him? I didn't kill james. It was an accident. Fell,he hit his head; I did not kill him. I loved him. Swear to god. Do you have any idea how many murderers swear to god they didn't do it? I come from a good catholic family. When we swear to god,we mean it. Room for one more? I haven't seen you in observation for a while,ducky. I've learned as much as I can from the dead. It's time to listen to theiving. You met in a bar. Yes.How did yoknow that? When? Nine months ago. You sleep with him that night? No! That's right-- I forgot you're from a good catholic family. Did you sleep with him the second night? Your husband never knew. I would tell him that I had a late showing, and I'd meet james at the house on larson lane. I know that that sounds immoral, but it is not what you think. Well,let me guess. You had a deep spiritual connection. Exactly. I had already decided I was gonna leave my husband. -I just had to wait for... -your father to die. -When you say it,it sounds horrible. -Well,yeah.It is. If dad knew I was getting a divorce, he'd have disowned me. She inherited $2 million last month when dad died. Ah... how about if you were a murderer? I didn't kill james. You buried him. No. I did not even know that he was dead. I will admit that we had a fight. James wanted to borrow money... and I refused,and he got angry,and... and he said that we were throug he got up to leave. I just wanted m to stay. I,uh... took his cigarettes. -Give 'em back! -No! -Now! No! -Not unless you promisemes! I just got in my car,and I drove for hours. I came back to-to check on him, to see if he was okay,but... -he was dead,so you buried him. -No. James was gone. I thought that he was fine, until I went to that house for the showing the other day. And there he was. And I could only think of one explanation. It was the hand of god. Can gibbs arrest god? I don't know it's like the thing tryg to bring in the hulk. She's telling the truth. Where you going? To tell gibbs. What do you think? I'm glad the glass is bullet-proof. excuse me,uh,could I have a word? With you? Workin it's related and important. She's telling the truth. God put the body there? No. Someone who was playing god. She didn't bury him. Your gut telling you this? I've been watching her.She feels guilt, empathy,remorse. That doesn't fit the psychological profile. She's deceitful,conniving,an adulterous, which does. I'm trying to give you my professional opinion. Then tell me after I have finished interrogating the suspect. Timothy,do you have a moment? Uh,actually,I'm watching jody carvell's husband. Yes,I know-- I want to have a word with M. Sure. And for you to tape it with that new cell phone yours. Tape you? No,no,no,no.Not me.Him. Surreptitiously,of course. Of course. -Here you go,Mr. Carvell. -Thank you. Uh,this is our medical examiner,Dr. Mallard. Uh,call me ducky. Everyone does. Uh,rick. Strange,isn't it,rick,someone committed a murder standard. But then they covered it up standard. And then they uncovered it. Far from standard. You think my we was involved. No. And that's the problem. James was a big man there is no way that I could've picked him up and buried him. Oh,that's easy. You roll him onto the plastic and you drag him out. Without ruining these nails? Look at them they are so perfect. I tried to convince agent gibbs that your wife was telling the truth. I'm afraid he doesn't lieve me. Tell me,rick,why does that please you? What? Well,you just flashed a slight,reflexive smile when I said that gibbs didn't believe your wife. I did not. Timothy? I'm afraid he doesnt believe me. I don't know if god was watching your wife and finn thanight, but you re. My-my wife and the dead guy? Yes,when your wife ran out of the house, you buried the body. My god,man,why would I do that? Because you wanted the money. Well,you had to wt until her father died before you could implicate her in the murder. But once she got her inheritance, you disinterred the body. You-u have a vivid imagination,ducky. But,uh,imagination don't prove anything. No,you're quite right there. But evidence does. Ah,good. Abby,have you lifted the dna from the shovel handle yet? You know,from the sweat we discovered on the handle. Oh.Yeah,uh,right. I-I've got it running. I'm ready to check it.I just need a sample. Well,then... test it against the saliva on this. You're right. I tried to cover up her murder. But I didn'kill him. That cheating bitch did. Boss,Mr. Carvell re admitted to ducky he buried the body. Oh,my god. It was you? Who else cleans up your messes? I was watching the two of you from the window. You watched us make love? That's not what I'd call it. Then what happened? -They had a fight,she hit him on the head,and she ran. -Rick... that he's lying. All I did was bury him. Well,I'm afraid you did a bit more than that. Right. I unburied him. Sit down. A reexamination of the conjunctival and facial tissu revealed petechial hemorrhages suggesting asphyxia. So I looked for atelectasis in his lungs, which results from shallow breathing due to aobstruction such as plastic. And there it was. Lance corporal finn was buried alive. He was dead! I know he was dead. You bastard,you killed him! ziva,get her out of here. Mcgee. Handcuff him and get a sworn statement. I hope you fry! Go to hell Go to hell. Wow. I got to come up here more often gibbs,I screwed up. Well,yeah. You almost spilled my coffee. When tony and i ran out to pick up jody, I left finn's bag of gold on my desk. Mm-hmm. I know I should've taken to evidence, but we were focusing on... here's the inveory. You took it to evidence. It says re the bag contained $18,000 worth of gold. We are $60,000 short. You gave siri and rebecca back the money they loaned finn. I thought I'd save the courts some paperwork. You wouldn't be getting soft? Of course not. You shaved your moustache. Uh,boss,reception called this morning, they said that seone was here with information about sorry about a case. I went to meet her,and,um,this is jessica coleman,james finn's fiancee. ncis Season 4 Episode 5 It's a great neighborhood. Very quiet, very private. There's an oversized backyard, that's a big plus. Whole house has been newly renovated. There are upgrades all over the place. Stainless appliances, air purification system, total move-in condition. The furniture is rented, but if you like it,I can have the company make you a deal. Amy, you are going to love the kitchen, but first I'm going to show you guys the living room. It has a wall-mounted flat screen and a gas log fireplace. You won't believe how easy this is. One push of a button... Isn't that cozy? Make sure you capture the back of his head, too. - If you would be so kind. - You got it. -Sorry. - Sorry. There's no rush, gentlemen. Our patient isn't going anywhere. I don't know, Ducky, the old Gibbs is back. The old Gibbs? McGee, over here. Hands and knees. On the floor. Okay, um... You're not going to step on me, are you? Footprints. It's a pretty tight weave. Looks like sisal. It's a naturally stiff fiber woven from the leaf of a cactus plant. It doesn't mat, trap dust, build static. Makes it ideal for carpeting. Personally, I prefer a good shag. From a criminal-investigative standpoint. I don't see any dirty footprints. I think it's safe to assume that our friend didn't stroll in here on his own. You look happy to see me, boss. Oh, the coffee. Ran the military ID our local LEO's got off the body. Lance Corporal James Finn. Stationed at Quantico. Went UA when his unit was shipped to Iraq six months ago. Looks like he's got a pretty good reason for not showing. Find out where he was buried. DUCKY: It won't be far, McGee. Had the trip been longer, some bits would have fallen off. Okay, I'll check the backyard. Scene's not going to sketch itself. Ow! Perhaps it would be better if you fetched the gurney, Mr. Palmer. I've seen all I need to see here. Yes, Doctor. It's a tidy crime scene. Quite. It appears to be a body drop. A tertiary crime scene, or quaternary, or quinary... I could go on. Oh, you did. It's an odd decorating choice. Although the corpse does give the place a certain lived-in look. You can see he brushed the dirt off his face. Oh, geez! Hello. Sorry... Nicrophorus americanus. Also known as "the carrion beetle." In here, you little monkey. Yes. A reminder that Shakespeare got it wrong. We are not food for worms. It's the flies and beetles that feast upon us. I'm more interested in why someone did this, Doctor. Then I'll have to research the predatory, manipulative, grandiose nature of this behavior. But my first impression is that we're dealing with a complete loon. That Masters in psych is starting to pay off, Ducky. Merciful God in Heaven. I have seen a lot of things selling real estate, but can you imagine walking in, seeing that? When was the last time you were here? Yesterday morning. First showing. And everything was normal? There was no rotting corpsein the living room, if that's what you mean. Who else had access? A couple of dozen real estate women. The keys are in a lock box on the front door. Who's the owner? A local contractor and me. Uh, I buy and Bob fixes. We split the profits. Bob? Robert Whitehead, the contractor. A number where he can be reached? Yeah. So who put the body here, you or Bob? Neither of us. Though it is an empty house. If you're looking to ditch a body, that's a real plus. Jody. I came as fast as I could. You okay? That's my husband I called him. Just duck under the tape, Rick. Stop. It's a crime scene. - Crime scene? Honey, you all right? - She's fine. I am not fine. I had to cancel my 1:00 showing. MCGEE: Think I found where he was buried. Checked for footprints, but it rained last night, so everything's pretty washed out. You got access? There's side access at street level. Chain link fence around the yard, but any one with gloves could have scaled it. Wait for me! The real estate agent solve the big mystery? No, but she owns the property with a contractor and every real estate agent in town had access. I meant the mystery of how they expect to sell a house for 600 grand when it only has two and a half bathrooms. Well, you know what they say: location, location... location. So, judging from the marks around the edges, looks like the digger used a garden spade. The soil's not real packed, so it would have been easy digging for a male or a female. You see that? Black plastic bags. Garbage bags. Body bag. Get it back to Abby, and a soil sample. I want ground-penetrating radar. Uh, boss, those techs are booked weeks in advance. I'm going to tell them it's an emergency and I will not budge until they show. - Who's staying with McGee? - I can. If you want Tony to check out the other real estate women. Fine with me. Tony, stay with McGee. You shouldn't have licked your chops like a hungry wolf. Much better. Before I smelled like dirt and sweat. Now I smell like dirt, sweat... and sandalwood. ZIVA: Good morning. What are you doing at my desk? Couldn't find my deodorant, so I used yours. No, you didn't. Yeah, we're partners. What's the big deal? A hair! TONY: Come on, you attach electrodes to men's testicles. You getting squeamish about a hair? I'm not going to feel bad. Those ground radar techs didn't show till dawn. McGee and I watched the sunrise together. It was very Brokeback Mountain. He had me at "howdy." How romantic.I'm sorry I missed it. Well, I can show it to you on my new phone it takes video. Behold the majesty of the sun. ZIVA: On a two-inch screen? Are we all getting those? Nope. I bought it. Expensive? Not really. Yeah, really. You've been dropping a lot of cash lately, McGee. New phone, new watch, new teeth. What's up? GIBBS: Ducky matched the dental records. The body downstairs is Lance Corporal Finn. Ziva, when did you...? McGee how long does it take to put on a clean shirt? Ten seconds. With buttons, a little longer. Rhetorical question. Contractor's off the hook. He's been out of town for a week. Going to check on the real estate agents this morning. That's all you did? No. While you and McGee were watching the sunrise, I was pulling Lance Corporal Finn's SRB. And I would have to say it was spotty. He was Unc' on the range and failed his swim qual. So they made him a supply clerk. Right. Six months ago, he signed out on a three-day pass before deploying to Iraq and never returned home. - Get me his C.O. - He's in Iraq. I'll contact MTAC. I put in a request for Finn's bank records, earning statements and medical records. TONY: Night wasn't a total loss. ground radar picked up a shovel about ten feet from the gravesite. Already sent it to Abby. Yep ! The old Gibbs is back. GIBBS: You see something, Abs? Beauty. I mean, it's tragic, but if you were to see this tableau in a museum, you'd swear it was a brilliant commentary on the human condition. What? Corpse staring at a TV set? - It says it all. - Well, it doesn't say who put him there or why. That's for us to find out. You shaved your mustache. I liked you with a little hair on your face. Still got my eyebrows. Good point. I found Finn's blood, hair and fingerprints on the plastic. So he was probably wrapped in it. But I didn't find any other prints on the plastic or the shovel. No chance of grabbing the gravedigger's sweat off the handle? After being underground, it's unlikely. Strange case, huh? I had this friend once that used to display roadkill in his living room. - He had an NEA grant... - Abby. Um, next I analyzed the soil. It's compost material. Rocks and small sticks. Nothing's over an inch long. It would indicate that it was processed through a screen. Pretty clean for dirt. It's a commercial product. But the house was just re-landscaped, so it's not surprising. I sent the acidity levels to Ducky. I then inventoried Finn's personal items. Got anything with a date on it? Nope. Sorry. No credit card or purchase receipts. I guess he was a cash guy. I mean if you can call a guy with $31.71 a cash guy. His clothes were Dockers from Sears. No judgments. The shirt is a large, the shoes are off-brand. And his underwear are boxer-briefs. Like you wear, Gibbs. You're fishin', Ab Are they regular boxers? Trunks? Bikinis? Nothing? Mr. Palmer, have you finished the chromatographic analysis of his volatile fatty acid? Yes, Doctor. Well, let's plug the numbers into the computer and let's how long our friend has been leaking into the topsoil. Agent Gibbs will be here soon and he will ask... How'd the lance corporal die, Doctor? "How he died" may take me a while. Try, "When did he die?" That's my next question. That, I can answer. It's....a......... ... tricky calculation. One has to factor in temperature, soil acidity, and the variety and volume of insects who now call Lance Corporal Finn their home. Give me a round number. 92 days, with a three-percent margin of error. It would appear you deserted before you died. Gibbs, Lance Corporal Finn's fiancée's upstairs. She saw a report on the local news last night. How, Doctor? As soon as I know, you'll know. Her name is Siri Albert. She's 25, lives in Manassas, and works as a physical therapist. - Finn's fiancée is here. I put her in the conference room. - You did? I did. No, I did. His fiancée? Yeah, his fiancée. Tall ? Like brown hair ? Red hair. Someone has made a huge mistake. James isn't dead. He's been writing me letters from Iraq. It's a common name. The news said he was born in Jackson, Pennsylvania. It's a small town. That James Finn has been dead three months. He left for Iraq three months ago. I saw him the morning he went away. And I just got a letter from him last week. He says he misses me and he's working a lot. We'll need those. Okay, but I want them back. It's his handwriting. I recognize it. They've been coming for months. Now I want to know who that other woman is. We're not here to talk about that. Is she saying that she's engaged to Jimmy, too? 'Cause if that's true, he better hope he's dead, or else I'll kill him. James and I connected on a deep, spiritual level. From then on, any time he was in town, he was with me. How often did you see him? He would come and go a lot. But I understood. That's how it is with Special Ops. Lance Corporal Finn's record does not indicate he was involved with Special Operations. He said his missions were top secret. He wanted to tell me more, but he didn't want to put me in danger. When'd you last see Lance Corporal Finn? Six months ago. Before he left for Iraq. How'd you meet? At a bar. Two years ago. I was there with some girlfriends, and when I got up to go to the ladies' room, he blocked my path, said he couldn't keep his eyes off me. And that worked? What worked is that when we talked, he had something to say. Most guys won't shut up about their online war games, but this guy, he had seen real action. And I was feeling patriotic that night, so I invited him to come home with me. The sex was fantastic. When did you two get engaged? About a week before he left. James wanted to borrow $30,000. Did he tell you what the money was for? Gambling debts. And if he didn't pay, they were gonna hurt him. Who? He said it was better if I didn't know. Because of the danger. Look, I didn't give him the money. I loaned it to him. So you drew up a legal document? No. But we had an oral agreement. I mean, he promised to pay me back. With interest. I mean, I maxed out all of my cards, so you better find that money. What was he like the last time you saw him? He was sweet. We made love right before he left. He use a condom? I'm on the pill. We were engaged. Abs, can DNA still be recovered from Lance Corporal Finn's skivvies? It would take the cooperation of weather and protection. He was wrapped in plastic and it's been cold , so there's a decent chance. Well, run the tests. We'll do a cheek swab on his fiancées. Wait, did you say "fiancées?" Like plural? Huh. Kinky. Is that it? For now, Siri. I need to follow you home and pick up his belongings. I want them back when James returns. He's dead. He can't return. LookI know he's not dead. I would feel it in my heart. We're soul mates. No. Agent Lee. I need legal help. We have a suspect who's refusing a cheek swab. I'll file for a DNA search warrant. What's the name? Rebecca Kemp.I'll e-mail you the info. Listen... you miss working with us? I think the legal department is more my speed. Why, do you miss me? Uh, sure. Boss... Agent Lee is getting us our cheek swab. Rebecca paranoid or guilty? Might just be angry. At Finn, us, the world. Go back with her to her apartment, get Finn's stuff. And, no, I don't want to wait for a search warrant. - I'll grab my coat .Wait at the elevator. - Okay. Hey, you. Where's my money? Yeah, you. Did you and Jimmy spend it? Please get away from me. I don't know you. I am Jimmy's fiancee. James loved me. He used you. You liar! Chick fight! He loved me! Get off of me! Stop it! Hey! Get off her! Get off her! Get up. How'd this guy die, Doctor? As I told you, when I know, you'll know. Know faster. Shaving off your moustache has brought back your usual impatience. Good. Means I'm doing my job. I do have a potential cause of death. But it's by no means airtight. See this fracture? Well, yeah, you're pointing right at it. The brain revealed an epidural hematoma, verified by this CAT scan. Though it's far from massive. Statistically, it's only fatal in about 17% of cases. Blunt-force trauma? Most likely. We're looking at a baseball bat or a golf club, perhaps wielded by a disgruntled fiancée. You tell me how; I'll figure out who. Intelligence has placed La Grenouille in Nairobi. That might mean a shipment to Somalia. We'll continue to monitor these activities. Just do your best. Mission trouble? It's need-to-know. Initiate the video conference Special Agent Gibbs requested. Have you figured out why somebody would unbury a body? That's need-to-know. You can't pull that one with me, Jethro. I'm your boss. Iraq standing by, ma'am. I got your e-mail concerning Lance Corporal Finn. I assume you've been over his SRB. Yeah, we have, Skipper. We'd like to know what's not on the record. Finn wasn't one of my stronger Marines. Wasn't surprised he went UA. He have any enemies in the company? He was well-liked. Played poker. What can you buy it for down there? 12 cents. Thanks. Well, i'm sure glad to get out of that land of cotton. Come on, boys, let's go. No, wait a minute. I'm thinking about that cotton. We're suckers for running away from a fortune. All the cotton mills are up north, but they haven't got any cotton. Why, we could get all the cotton we want for 12 cents a pound and smuggle it through. In that way, we'd be helping the south by buying it and helping the north by selling it. And helping ourselves to $1.88 for every pound we can lay our hands on. Wait a minute-i ain't going back down south there for no $1.88. You're going up north, luke. You're going to drive to boston as fast as you can get there and open up an office. Nick and me are going back to dixie, and we're gonna ship you all the cotton we can lay our hands on. You know, jim, i'm just crazy enough to go with you, but how are we going to get back across that line? You-all know, folks, i'm on my way to savannah, georgia, to join my regiment, and i'm giving my good english friend here, sir nicholas boyd, safe conduct. Ah, yes, of course. And i'm buying cotton for dear old england, eh, what? You sure is. You sure is making me mighty nervous, you sure is. You-all's price is right with me. I'll take your whole doggone crop. I say, fraser, you better move all this cotton onto the dock immediately and make some bally room for the 200 bales coming in in the morning. Perkins, go up to the stonington railroad, tell them to run 20 freight cars onto our dock before 3:00. We're gonna put a lot of money in the bank today for jim and nick. Do you smell it? What? New england. We're home again. Jim! Nick! Oh, hello, nick! Luke! Oh, jim. Gee, you haven't changed a bit. Neither have you. My, you're a sight for sore eyes. Our general manager. Gee, jim, i'm so happy. I can't wait, i've got a bet on with jim. Tell me-what were the total profits on all that cotton we shipped up here? $821,000.46 in gold. 821 thou? Why, that's 100,000 more than we expected. How did you do it? Luke- you're the eighth wonder of the world. Well, whenever i was in a fix, jim, i'd just try to figure out what you'd do. I want to know. Trying to flatter me, eh? Well, i was looking and listening around. About a year ago, i found out these smart boston bankers was swapping golr money. Ney. $400 in gold was fetching $1,000 in greenbacks. Sure. Those bankers were on the inside track. They knew that when the war was over, the government would stand back of that paper money. Well, i says to myself, i says, "jim fisk wouldn't stand by "and watch that gold rot in that bank, would he? "Of course he wouldn't. Why, jim fisk's smarter than any back-bay banker that ever banked!" Wait a minute, wait a minute- you changed our gold to greenbacks? Uh-huh. Jehoshaphat! Did i do right, jim? Did you do right? It's more than $2 million! $2 million? We'll buy the stonington railroad! 2 million cartwheels! Wait a minute- that ain't all. Huh? What? Well... when i got all this money together, it looked like an awful lot of greenbacks, so i said, "what would jim think about this? "Shucks, to a big man like him it'd look like a wad of lettuce. "Why, jim would say it's a sacrilegious crime to let that lettuce lay there and go to seed," so... well, i bought bonds. Bonds? Bonds? I hope they're good bonds. Many a man's cut his throat on gilt-edged securities you know, luke. But these are government bonds, boss. As good as the mint. No, they ain't, boss. What? I've known you all my life, jim, and you've never once lied to me. No, luke, but what are you getting at? Did you know all the time that the north was going to win the war? Of course i did. Everybody did. Well, why'd you keep writing me that the confederates was gonna? Certainly-we knew their secret service was opening our letters, so we always had to tell you the south was going to win. Well, it got me all kerflummoxed. If i hadn't have believed in you, jim, we'd have had more than $2 million, but... oh, i put it all in confederate bonds. There they are. Confederate bonds? They're not worth a nickel. They're blowing like dead leaves down the streets of richmond. For 3 and 1/2 years we lived on boiled leather and grits, risked our necks dodging tar, feathers, and bullets... always one jump ahead of a firing squad. We even had to learn another language. And now we get paid off in confederate bonds. $2 million worth of nothing. Well... hey-hey, where are you going? What's the matter with you? Aw, the way i ruined you both and all. That was my fault, wasn't it? I shouldn't have lied to you. Come on back here and sit down, come on. Say, what are you up to? I've got a chill, i thought i'd liven up the fire. Wait a minute- these cost us $821,000. If we could make that amount of money while we were dodging bullets, there's no reason why we can't make twice as much with nobody shooting at us. Anybody in town know you bought these? Gosh, no, boss. I'd have been hung for a southerner. I got these from an english firm. First-rate! Now get out your ear trumpets, and i'll tell you how big money got made in this country. Astor started with a meat cleaver, old vanderbilt had a rowboat, and uncle daniel drew didn't have nothing but a cow and a pail of water. Well, the firm of fisk and boyd is gonna start building on confederate bonds! Well, gentlemen, as long as you're so dead-set against selling to mr. Drew, the firm of fisk and boyd is ready to make you a bona-fide offer for your railroad this morning. Spot cash or you'll get securities-bonds. Bonds are as good as cash if they're good bonds. They're not confederate bonds, are they? Ha ha ha! Well, that would certainly be a good joke on us. Oh, no. We're not questioning your financial status. But we're not selling to anyone. We're in the railroad business to stay. Our firm intends going into the transportation business, too. If we could afford your railroad, we were going to build a line of boats connecting it with new york. Figuring on bucking drew, eh? Gentlemen, you run a good railroad. Drew runs bad boats, but he makes all the money. There's no argument about it. He's got you over a barrel with your pockets turned inside out. As long as these gentlemen like their cards and have all the partners they want, we'd be better off playing poker with mr. Drew. What makes you think that he'd sell to you if he won't to us? I got an idea i can make drew sell. What is your idea, mr. Fisk? Well, if you authorize the water street bank of new york to pay me $2 million on delivery of drew's contract of sale, i'll bring you his boats, his docks, his franchises, the whole kit and caboodle. Just how do you expect to come out on this deal, mr. Fisk? You must expect to get those boats for less than $2 million. Right as rain. If i can buy out drew for less than $2 million, i get the difference. You're proposing to lock horns with the shrewdest money mind in america. That psalm-singing old skinflint wouldn't give you the dust off his warts. I'll give 5,000 myself to put drew on the fire. And i'll make it 10,000 if you'll burn him to a crisp. We all share in that. Good. You just put that in writing, send it to our office with your check, we'll be waiting. Uh-huh. Good day. Oh, gentlemen- your bonds. Oh. Why, jim, you're forgetting our little family business. You act as if they really were confederate bonds. I made this one from general grant, is that all right? Biggest noise in the country, going to be our next president. And look-how about making the boat from commodore vanderbilt? Drew hates him worse than poison. First-rate! And put a personal note with it. What? Uh, let's say... "sit tight at the boat, jim, "and we'll bombard drew off the water. Cordially yours, cornelius vanderbilt." Cordially yours... how do you spell vanderbilt? Uh, with a "v" and a lot of dollar marks. And this one from mayor hoffman and the board of aldermen. Jim! I just saw old drew in the lobby. How do you know it was him? Well, he looks like a runt pickle and he's got an old umbrella stick with a goose-head handle. That's him! I knew it! Bellboy? Yes, sir. Go and tell mr. Fisk that mr. Daniel drew is waiting to see him. Yes, sir. Tell me-do you go to sunday school? Yes, sir. Mulberry street church, sir. Mulberry street. Well... i pass the plate there myself. Here-here's two cents for you. And remember-i'll be looking for them next sunday. Yes, sir. Well? There's a gentleman to see you, mr. Fisk. Who is it, son? It's mr. Daniel drew, sir. Oh. Here. Tell him i'm busy. Yes, sir. You can't do that, jim! We got to get some of his money to pay for this presidential suite! Jim's right. You couldn't chase him away with a cannon. Here, you board of directors get into this room- all 12 of you. And, nick, talk out loud about all the boats we're going to build. Open the transom so old drew can hear you. All right. Now try it out. Gentlemen, today we are gathered here for the burial of daniel drew. How's that, jim? That'll fix him. Ha! Well? I reckon you ain't too busy to see your uncle daniel drew. Uncle who? Drew. Oh, yes, drew. Well, i'm very busy. I've got my board of directors waiting for this report in the next room. Within the next 10 months, gentlemen, we'll have in operation 6 of the finest steamboats ever built in america! He have not only the unanimous support of the press and public, but the financial backing of the biggest men in new york. Ah, very interesting. Proceed, my good man, proceed. Oh, won't you sit down? The trouble is that these two great cities have condemned the intolerable "take it and like it" policy of daniel drew. You must excuse them. They don't know you're here. Ahem, ahem, mr. Boyd, i would like to ask a question. Yes, mr. Baxter, what can i do for you? I'd like to ask one, too. What is it, mr. Collins? How long will it take them boats to go from new york to bristol? Overnight, mr. Collins. Just overnight. Oh, excellent, excellent. Yes, well, just a moment, mr. Maybury, i'll have mr. Fisk answer that question. Oh, mr. Fisk- mr. Maybury would like to know if all 6 of the new boats will be taken from this model. Oh, of course not. Each one is to be larger and more luxurious than its predecessor. Well, tell mr. Maybury i'll come in and explain the details myself. Thank you. Oh, would you mind coming back a little later? Oh, i don't mind waiting. Patience is its own reward. Make yourself at home. It seems to me, mr. Palmer, that nothing, nothing can be too fine for our clientele. I? s working. Gentlemen, i think we'd better close this transom. The enemy is right here in our camp. He's nibbling. Let me take a peek, jim. He don't look like no big fish to be- he looks more like a sidewinder crab! Go ahead. Ahem. You say that the parlors and the dining saloons will be done in solid mahogany? Then, mr. Howard, all our furniture will be covered with empire plush an inch thick. That's right, gentlemen. Oh, excuse me, uncle. Admiring our doorknobs? No. I was just coming to ask you if that thimble - rigging vanderbilt's got a hand in this. The names of our directors will be announced shortly. Are you in cahoots with that stonington crowd? Hand and glove. They've given us all their trade. I heard you call me your enemy. Why, that there just stabbed me to the core. I'm a pious man. There ain't an ounce of hatred in my whole carcass. Why, mr. Fisk, i love my neighbor just as i love myself. In that case, uncle daniel, you won't harbor any grudge if we run you out of business. I forgive you for the harsh words. The golden rule brought me to your door, and i'd feel like a heathen if i didn't try to open your eyes to the bottomless pit that's yawning for your fool's gold. Ahem. Good day, mr. Fisk. Good day, sir. Ahem, good day. You can't run boats no cheaper than me, because i'm losing money every day! My steamboats ain't making a cent! I'm going to give you a chance to save money. You can buy my boats. $2 million is the price, and they're worth 3. I'll have to see my board of directors. But i can't hold out much hope. I'm sorry, uncle daniel, but the deal fell through. They won't go a penny higher than $1,500,000. It's downright sinful. Let's draw up a contract. Oh, sit down right here, uncle daniel. Boys, i got it! What, 500,000 for us? And out of the tightest pocketbook in new york. And everybody is satisfied. Stonington gets their boats, drew makes a profit, and we're on the road to future glory! What do we do to celebrate, jim? We're gonna have some fun. Follow me. I've been looking at that sign all day. "Mademoiselle fleurique and her dimpled darlings in playtime in paris. 50 girls 50." Say, i got to meet them 50 girls 50, and they got to meet me! I'll take fleurique. You high-flyers can fight over the 50 girls 50. Hey, i got dibs on fleurique. We better let her know we're coming. Take all those flowers over to her. They worked with drew, maybe they'll be lucky with her. Oh, luke-stick a french flag in that flower boat. Ooh, la, la, la, la as we tour in gay paris 'cause it's gay and it's fun and it's done ooh, la, la It's a naughty, naughty place but it's what we call chichi say it once, say it twice, and it's nice ooh, la, la When you're walking in the dark in the so-romantic park and he steals a kiss or two just say ooh la, la, la, la, la, la it's naive and it's blase what it means i cannot say but it's fun and it's done and it's gay ooh, la, la she's what i call a lalapalooza. I like her. I like her, too. She likes me. I guess you didn't have your eyes peeled. It was me she was flipping her frills and furbelows at. Just a minute, jim- here, here... if the lady comes up, i go backstage. If the eagle shines, the pass-through's all yours. All right. Uh- let me flip it. Where did it go? I don't know, but you better hurry and find it. The show's over. She'll be going out with someone else. Nick, you go back to her dressing room and ask her if she'll go to a lobster party. Soon as i find this lucky piece, i'll join you. Luke? Yeah. You go over to the astor house and reserve the best table in the place. Yeah. And send somebody here with a lantern. Idiot! Imbecile! You want to be an actress, eh? Well, here is good luck! I've had just about enough of this! Someone is at the door! See who it is! Yes? Oh, good evening, mademoiselle. I see my flowers have arrived. Oh, you are mr. Fisk. Yes. Only such a handsome man could have sent such marvelous flowers. Thank you, mademoiselle. L- i wonder if you'd care to join me in a bottle of wine at the astor house? Just we two alone? Just we two alone. But we'll have to hurry. Fleurique is ready. We go. Good night, my dear. Uh, we better go this way. Come in. Mademoiselle fleurique in? She's gone to the astor house. Well, already. Well- with that fool mr. Fisk, who sent her these. What does that fool mr. Fisk look like? Tall, dark, kind of handsome. He's going to have a peck of trouble on his hands tonight. Everybody that has any truck with her has got trouble. Look at this room, will you? She threw all these things at me. Peppery, ain't she? Oh, she'd throw anything anywhere. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't blow up at the astor house. If she treats you that way, why do you stick? It's a long walk back to illinois. Excuse me, please. Besides, if you want something real bad, you've got to take some hard knocks to get it. You've learned a lot for a young lady. So what are you after? Reaching for the moon? Nope. Just one little star. On a dressing room door. Want to be a playactress, huh? Oh, i am one. I barnstormed through the midwest for two seasons. This is the only job i could get in new york. But i don't care - at least i'm in a theater. Before i get through, i'm going to be a great actress. That's the way to say it. Think big, talk big, and you'll be big. Say, you're a good looker. Got the spirit of a thoroughbred. All you need is a little sprucing up. Here, get into this. You and me are going to paint the town. I've got some acting for you to do, and you'll put that fleurique in the shade. But these are her clothes. That's stealing. Only little people steal. Big people call it borrowing. But-but what will mademoiselle say? I can't wear her clothes. You certainly can't wear that hired gal's rig where we're going. Where are we going? To the astor house. You've got a sight of gall. And i'm daring you to show some. She threw things at you, didn't she? Listen, when you're scratching for corn and another chicken comes along and shoves you out of the way, get right back into that circle and make the feathers fly. Get behind that screen and get fixed up. Come on. Ha ha. Good evening! How are you? Good evening. Oh, lovely. Oh... you are looking more beautiful than ever, mademoiselle. Oh, monsieur. How many men have told you you were beautiful? Oh, many, very many, but i pay no attention to them. Did one ever tell you you were ugly? No. You're ugly. What? I dealt you a wrong card. I'm not jim fisk jr. I'm nick boyd. I'm his partner. I think i hate you! Mmm. Have you run down yet? Down to the deuce. Mmm... say, there's some awful pretty gals at your show. Yes. I suppose you know them all. Yes. I don't know any. No. Well... it's your throw, nick. There's jim fisk now. Where, sir? Behind that vision in white. You ready? I'm frightened to death. You're in the circle now. You've got the prettiest feathers in the room, now spread them. Right this way, mr. Fisk. Look at our jim fisk. Oh, that is mr. Jim fisk, eh? There she is. Where? Right over there, behind that railing. With my maid! And my dress! Here she comes. Don't worry, i got ammunition. You make a fool of fleurique, eh? You steal my clothing, eh? Here, throw these. Well, if you don't want to throw them, eat some of them. They'll cool you off wonderful. Look at the food mr. Fisk buy. Mm-hmm. I think i'll let her wear the dress for tonight. That's very considerate of you. Well, now that we're all friends, let's get together. They made a mistake about your table, jim. We waited for you over there. You want to know how that lucky piece landed? Heads or tails, it looks like you won. It doesn't pay to split partners. Well, i suppose the drinks are on me. Come on, my little prune. No. Won't you join us? I beg your pardon? I don't even know you, sir. That's all right. None of the others do, either. I'm treating all new york tonight, just to teach myself a lesson. Come, dear. No. I've learned, miss mansfield, that when a person wants to be a success, he can't dawdle around. You got to grab at every chance, use everybody you can to help you up that ladder. And the higher you go, the louder people will cheer for you. You think only in millions, don't you, mr. Fisk? Yes, sirree. Millions of everything. People, dollars, thrills. Every minute is a thrill for me, and i wouldn't give up one of my minutes for all the gold in the united states mint. I bet it'll look prettier on you than it did in the jewelry store. Why, uh, don't you like it? Any woman would be crazy who didn't like it. Mr. Fisk... i expect to be a great actress. What do you expect me to be? Whatever you want to be. This looks like money to you, doesn't it? It don't to me. You know, there are two sides to every dollar- a lot of fun making them, a lot of fun spending them. I've got a lot of them. I've got nobody to spend them on, except you. Now you won't let me have any fun at all. Oh, but i'd love to have that necklace. I've always been hungry for pretty things. All right. We'll form a corporation. Josie mansfield and company. Still talking big, mr. Fisk. Oh, show business ain't any different from any other business- you can't stay in it unless you make money out of it. I'll build you up like i would a big corporation. Your assets are looks, talent, and ambition. You'll be a fine investment. Even corporations can fail. Not mine. Not jim fisk's. I've got the golden touch. I got it here. No. I think you've got it there. Oh, jim, may i see you a moment? What's on your mind? Well, uh... oh, don't mind josie. She's one of the firm. There isn't anything you can't say in front of her. I'm afraid i'll have to see you alone. Will you excuse me? Old man drew's outside, and he's hopping mad. The madder you get a goose, the easier it is to pull his tailfeathers. But what good's a handful of tailfeathers if you lose a golden egg? Keep him here in our henhouse, i'll be with you in a minute. You know, josie, i've got a feeling in my bones that you're going to bring us luck. Whenever you've got anything to sell, whether it's a carriage, a steamboat, or an actress, you've got to spruce it up. Give it sparkle. I really believe that this is going to help make our corporation look successful. I'll wear it. Wait a minute- gentlemen, please! Now, mr. Fisk is a busy man. He'll see you when he gets time. He sees everybody. Now will you hoot owls sit down and stop hooting? A man gets rich, and it spreads like the itch. Now wait, first- all you inventors, please sit over on that side. All the inventors. Sit down, neighbor, please. Hey, what are you? I'm just plain hungry. Hungry? Well, everybody that's hungry, you sit on that side, please. Sit down. Wait a minute- are you an inventor or are you hungry? Yes. Listen, you inventors, hungry or not, you got to sit over there in the patent office, that's on that side. Would you mind sitting down, neighbor, please? I trusted mr. Fisk, and he sat right there and told me an almighty lie. Oh, now, uncle daniel, do you think jim fisk would lie to you for $500,000? Yes, i do. Yeah, well, so do i. What have you got, son? I've got an invention that will save you the bother of carrying around matches. It's good for pipes, cigars, almost anything. And the flame is always lit. What happens if the flame blows out? You just take out a match and light it. You just take- sit down, son. Don't get upset. Well, my good man? Good morning. This is a little invention of mine which i call "always a gentleman." Now, you've just been down to the butcher's store, and you're coming back with your arms full of liver and whatnot for the wife. You meet mrs. Maclntire or some other lady of your acquaintance. Now, there's two things you can't do: You can't drop your liver, and you can't insult a lady, so you just, uh... and the lady still thinks you're a gentleman. What does your wife think? Oh, she thinks i'm crazy. I think your wife is right. Sit down, please. Well, well, well, uncle daniel. What have you got to sell now? You'll repent on judgment day for taking the bread out of an old man's mouth, tricking me out of my steamboats that way. And i know who put you up to it, too. It was that cornele vanderbilt, now wasn't it? I don't even know cornelius vanderbilt. Oh, you can lie faster than a horse can trot! What makes you think it's vanderbilt? Because me and cornele's been fighting all our lives. I was driving bessie down wall street this morning when cornele whizzed up with them spanking black mares of his, and hollered right out with everybody listening, "i hear there's a young fella named fisk that's been teaching you how to suck eggs!" It's the first time i've ever been hornswoggled in my whole life! And you ain't in cahoots with vanderbilt? No, but it's a good idea. It's a fine idea. Vanderbilt is after your erie railroad. You want to sell that? It ain't for sale, and you ain't gonna crisscross me out of it! No? Perhaps we can give the commodore a few ideas. You're right. Tell you what- wait a minute, wait! You boys are gonna ride in my buggy. I've been figuring a mighty while how to get even with cornele. You are coming in with me on erie. Uncle daniel, we'll be in your office in the morning. Our office. Oh, uh, nick- will you go in and talk to josie? Keep her company. Lot of people in here i got to see. What's the matter? It's jammed. That's my patented burglar alarm. I wanted to be sure i'd catch you when you came out. You go over and sit down, and take it easy, old friend. Well, what's on the docket for today? Here's the usual hungry ones. Take care of them. So... so you're the new member of our firm, huh? Do you approve? Well, i'll say this for jimmy- he certainly has an eye for beauty. But i don't think that women and business mix any more than oil and water. We poor, helpless women certainly have to fight for our place in your man's world, don't we? Ambitious? Very. Do you think that necklace is going to make you a better actress? No, not a bit. But i like wearing it and i'm tired of working in a dressing room. Well, jim knows a lot more about business than i do. But you'll pardon me for saying it, but... i know more about women, and, uh- and you think he's made a bad investment. His luck. I'll take stocks and bonds. Hey, daniel! Whoa, baby! Whoa. I might have known it was you, cornele vanderbilt. A- whoopin' and a- rushing' around like a fiend in a fiery chariot. You done near scraped the paint off my buggy. I'm sorry, daniel, but i wanted to make you an offer. I thought maybe you might like to swap old bessie there for my team of thoroughbreds. You want to swap that team for my bessie? Yes, daniel. I'll swap you even- if you throw in the erie railroad. It ain't no secret i'm gonna get control of erie. I'm doing it because someone's got to protect the public from weasels like you. Ya! Now you boys listen to me. That erie of mine is the best-paying railroad in america. For you, uncle daniel, or the stockholders? For him, that's why he owns it. Yes. When i get a good thing, vanderbilt don't sleep easy unless he gets some of the gravy. Neither do we. Who is he? Do we have to put up with him? He's the brains of our organization. He don't look very bright to me. What were you saying about the erie? When i say up, erie goes up. When i say down, erie goes down. When i say up and down, erie goes wiggle-waggle. Fisk and boyd are definitely interested in that wiggle-waggle. We been in that wiggle-waggle business for years. You want vanderbilt to believe that he's buying control of your railroad. But he really ain't. Exactly. First we'll declare a dividend, the biggest ever declared by any railroad. Let's say, uh, 50%. 50%? I ain't got no money in the treasury for that. Now wait a minute, uncle daniel. You'll have an awful battle on your hands if you tangle with vanderbilt. He's got the key to wall street in his pocket. He told you this morning he was after your scalp, and you haven't got a chinaman's chance unless you can outmaneuver him. And my plan might do the trick. With your stock paying such a big, fat dividend the public will break their necks trying to buy, and the price will shoot up. So if vanderbilt wants the stock bad enough, he'll have to stick his nose in the trap to get it. Even i can see that. Well, who said i couldn't see it, too? You know, i object to giving uncle whiskers all our good ideas. Who said they was good ideas? Who said anything about giving? We get 50% of the profits. Oh, no, no, i didn't promise you nothing like that. We'll trust you, uncle daniel. 'Cause if you start operating this way without us, oh, we'll put a bug in vanderbilt's ear. No, boys, no. It's agreed, then? 50%? Well, i always say, him that gives gets. But you're teaching an old dog new tricks, jimmy. Uncle daniel, you got time to give me a shine? Yes. Oooh! Erie! Any part of 1,000 at 72? You want me to start buying? At 72? I should say not. I've passed the word that i'm not gonna buy until the price goes down. In a few days it'll be a flat as a flounder. The board of directors of the erie railroad wish to announce that they have declared a dividend on all outstanding stock of 50%. Whoever heard of a 50% dividend? Nobody, but it makes erie the best buy on the market. Any part of 1,000 at 72? 50%! I smell a rat. A little bald-headed one with chin whiskers. 73! 73! You don't know how lucky you are. His brains is gonna pull you through. I didn't think drew was smart enough to find a new way to start a bull rush. But i'm gonna fight him. Go ahead and buy. But it's a false price! False as wooden teeth, but the suckers are falling for it, and the only way to beat drew is to get control. No matter what it costs, i can make the railroad worth it when i'm boss. But commodore, i don't think- go ahead, buy. While we've been gabbing here, it's gone up 3 points. Vanderbilt's buying. Vanderbilt's buying. Erie's up to 83! 83! Good day, cornele. Nice day for erie. Look here, drew, who's that new broker you got? What? You don't know who that is? That's jim fisk. Fisk? Oh, the fella that taught you to suck eggs, drew. So you've taken him into camp. As soon as you get these recorded, come over to the office. Have you got a big pocket? I want to put new york in it. Oh, hello, commodore. Too late to buy erie today. You better come back tomorrow. How much you got to sell, fisk? All you want. We aim to please. Nothing stingy about the erie. How much? 1 million, 2 million, 3 million. As far as you want to go. That's all i want to know. Good evening, hannah. Good evening. Was there a printer here with a big poster? No, sir, mr. Fisk. Well, i told him to send a sample copy of the show bill here as soon as it came off the press. It's got a picture of you on it, big as life and twice as natural. And it won't be a week before everybody in new york will know who you are. I'm going to hang those posters all the way from the battery up to the end of new york, clean up to 34th street. Do i get flowers even after a rehearsal? Well, i've got to send them here until i'm able to hand them to you over the footlights. Well, you've always got some excuse. Oh, jim, really, you're spoiling me with presents. Every day it's something new. No wonder mr. Boyd criticizes me. Oh, now, he doesn't. Oh, yes, he does. No, he criticizes me because he thinks i don't know anything about women. Do you, jim? I know all i want to know about one. But why does he avoid me? If i bring him here, will you be nice to him, josie, for my sake? You know, it kind of worries me, the way you two have always got your claws out. No, i don't think you'd better... let's forget about mr. Boyd. Here he is! We looked for you at the theater and the rehearsal was over- we knew sooner or later we'd find you here. Well, stop moaning and tell me what's up. Vanderbilt's got the law on us. What? He got an injunction so we can't print any more stock. An injunction? It's worse than that. We've sold more stock than we can deliver. We're cornered. I told you to watch out for that. He that sells what isn't his'n must pay it back or go to prison. Oh... don't worry, everything is fine, josie. Certainly- we're in a fine fix. And this is a fine place to do business. Come on, let's get down to the office. Hold your horses, i'm waiting here for a printer. What printer? A printer with a show bill of josie. Now look here, jim, you know more about injunctions than i do. Go on down to the office, i'll wait here for your show bill, if it's so important. Will you? It's not a bad idea. And don't be afraid of him. His bark is worse than his bite. Come on, luke. Come on, uncle daniel. Ohh... oh, stop moaning, will you? Look here - if you don't smile, i won't go with you. Come on. Won't you sit down, mr. Boyd? We'll not bother with formalities. I had a reason for wanting to stay here. Yes? You know jim is spending more time on you than he does on business. Well, i'm sorry, but i've tried- look here, miss mansfield, there's only one thing in the world that's stopping jim fisk from being the richest man in this town. That's you. He's in a tight spot, and if you're as smart as i think you are, you'll let him alone. Even the right horse can't win if he's carrying too heavy a load. Excuse me, ma'am, the printer just brought this. Thank you. The 12 temptations. And every one of them called josie mansfield. All i can find in this erie charter is 40 different ways to issue stock. And every one of them's padlocked by that pesky injunction. In 24 hours cornele will be sitting in that chair, cracking his bullwhip at me. Ohh... say, that's my supper you're eating! Shh. I'm thinking. The show bill! You've got it! Josie. Uncle daniel, come here. Have you figured out yet how we're going to beat that injunction? No, he ain't! Just when we need all the powers of glory pulling for us, his mind wanders to frivols and follies. Pleasure is the spice of business, uncle daniel. It's as good as any picture could make of her. Still, it doesn't do her justice as a star temptation. You're dwelling in the fleshpots of egypt tonight, jimmy. But unless you find some way to get more stock, tomorrow we'll all be cast into a fiery furnace. Hey, boss-what about them bonds? What bonds? Them confederate bonds. They worked all right for us before. Ohh, get that ninny out of here! Wait. Confederate bonds... confederate, convertible! I told you luke's the brains of this organization. Jimmy, you got an idea! I see it! You got an idea! You bet i have. There's nothing in the injunction that says that we can't print bonds. What kind of bonds? Convertible bonds. Well, what is a convertible bond, boss? A bond that you can convert into stock. Say, you're right! Round up the board of directors, we got to have a meeting. Jimmy, my boy! Josie. I knew she'd bring us luck. All i could find, boss, was the night shift directors. Send them in. Come in, folks. You can leave the pail outside, mrs. Callahan. Sam, will you sit there? Arthur, you sit at the head of the table. Mrs. Callahan, would you mind taking that seat? All right, we have a quorum. We'll dispense with the reading of the minutes and the roll call, and hear the treasurer's report. I ain't got no report to make. But i move that the board of directors authorize this company to issue $10 million worth of convertible bonds. I second the motion. I third it. All those in favor will signify by saying "aye." Aye. Aye. Aye. Contrary-minded? Nay. Motion is carried. Look at this mop. It's the only one i've got. I don't think i ought to vote for that 10 million till i get a new one. Chairman, i move that we convert these bonds into common stock for public sale. I second the motion. I third it. All those in favor will please say "aye." Aye. Aye. Aye. Contrary-minded? Nay. You'll get your mop. Aye. That makes it unanimous. Any further business? Do i hear a motion to adjourn? Let me do it. I move we adjourn. I second the motion. I third it. Meeting's adjourned. Good night, mr. Fisk. Good night, mrs. Callahan. Good night, arthur. Good night, sam. We only needed a $1 million issue to cover our stock shortage. What do you think you're gonna do with the other 9 million? If we can get cornele to buy it, we'll give him the licking' of his life. It'll take more money than you ever thought of, commodore, to stop that erie flood. You bought over $9 million worth of the stuff now, and they still got lots to sell. Cornelius, why don't you stop buying and start selling? I don't need any suggestions from you to make me a bigger fool than i am. If i sell now, the price will drop like a punctured balloon. I won't have any money, any stock, or any control. I found the joker, commodore, i found it! What is it? This injunction prevents his issuing stock, but he's issuing convertible bonds and turning them into stock. And that's what you're buying. What? Give me my hat! I'm going to put the supreme court to work. Here's another $1 million worth of stock. Luke, take these over to vanderbilt's brokers. They'll give you a bank order for them, and bring back the cash. I don't like this job. First man i ever seen that's afraid of carrying money. Whoever heard of a walking bank? I should be surrounded by steel bars and a cannon. Well, they might jack you for a little money, but no crook in the world has nerve enough to tackle you for a million. There's 3 of them right in this room. Here comes another load of it. Let me see that! Get back! Get on back here! Get back! Another day, another $1 million. All the drawers are full of the stuff now- what are you going to do with that batch? Put it in the pickle case. Oh-so you don't trust me, huh? Oh, i trust your honesty, but not your memory. Excuse me, uncle daniel. Listen, boss, the people know that i ain't carrying eggs in that satchel. Take a look at this. We're going to surround our money with an army. Says here you're a colonel in the militia. That's right. You are now looking at the new colonel of the ninth regiment. And this time, the uniform is going to be the genuine article. Where'd you get it, jim? Are they selling commissions now? No, of course not. I just paid the regiment's deficit and told the militia boys i'd get them a job on the railroad. Work is the crying need of today, luke. And besides, they're a nice, tough bunch of boys to have around in case of trouble. Now you go out and get them a job on the erie. The whole regiment? Yeah. Go ahead, go ahead. You know, i feel just like an actor having my uniform made in theater. What's the matter with this waistline? It sticks out a bit, don't it? Only sticks out where you stick out, boss. Say, what goes with these suits? A bass drum or a bugle? Say, i want a shiny sword, too. But you only carry a sword while on parade, mr. Fisk. It doesn't make any difference. Even if it don't cut cheese, i'm not gonna fight with it, anyway. One shiny sword. - Yes, sir. And put a big hunk of gold on the handle. Yes, sir. You know, i always did like a uniform. Me, too. You could make me a dozen uniforms like this. Here's josephine, napoleon. Well, do i pass inspection? What are your orders, colonel? Well, my orders are that corporal mansfield stops rehearsal to take a drive in the park with colonel fisk. You know, you're losing some of the color out of those cheeks of yours. Jim! Yeah? Jim! Listen-vanderbilt's got the supreme court to declare our erie deal a fraud! He's got warrants out for the arrest of you and dan drew! What's the matter with our lawyers? Have they turned on us? We had our whole firm there, mr. Fisk, but we were overruled. The only time you're overruled is when you're outsmarted! Well, if vanderbilt's gonna raid the office with a bunch of deputy sheriffs, he'll get that $10 million and the erie books! You get back to that courthouse as quick as you can! Nick, you come along with me. Luke, round up all our soldier boys and march them double-quick time down to the chambers street ferry. Tell them not to shoot until they see the red in vanderbilt's eyes. What are you gonna do, jim? Washington crossed the delaware, we're going to cross the hudson. Once we get over to jersey city, we're in another state, and we can laugh at the new york courts. Uncle daniel- open up the pantry right away. Vanderbilt's got a warrant out for both of us. We've got to hustle this money out of here. I'll get a wagon you can hide the money in. I'll have it waiting in the alley. Fine. Arthur, go down to the cellar, get some gunnysacks. Listen, son, keep a sharp lookout for the enemy. Let me know as soon as they start to charge. Yes, sir. Please, mister, what are you going to do with my wagon? Don't worry. I'll buy you two new ones. Jim! Wait a minute. Warrant or no warrant, i'm going with you. You stay here and keep me posted as to what's going on. Besides, somebody's got to look after josie. I'd rather not, jim. Do it for me, will you, nick? A lot of bad losers got hurt in this deal. There's no telling what they're liable to do. Tell josie everything will be all right. You'll hear from me tomorrow. Don't forget your books. Uncle daniel. There's jail for you on every page. Ohh! Good luck, jim. Where's fisk and drew? They were expecting you, so they're not here. All right! Who is this fellow? What's your name? Boyd. Have you got a warrant for him? No, sir. You ought to have a warrant for everybody that ever worked for drew. Sorry i can't oblige you, commodore. They slipped out through the alley. Seal that vault. Yes, sir. You're only sealing a memory, commodore. Come on. We got to catch those three. They might make trouble. You're not going, commodore. For $10 million? Don't be a jackass. Headed toward the ferry. Boys, you grab a horsecar, cab, anything. Get over to the ferry! I'll take bessie. Giddap! Heaven preserve us! There you are. Stay there, now. Yah! Hey, move! Clear the road! The colonel's in there! Come on, boys! Take it away! You scoundrels! I'll run you down if i have to crawl in every rat hole in jersey! Good-bye, commodore! The colonel is sorry he couldn't wait to receive you. And you take good care of bessie, cornele. I'll pay you for the oats when i get back. I thought you were going to jersey city with jim. So did i. Is he all right? I hope so. Would you think me rude if i wondered why you've come here? Jim got a fool idea somebody was going to try to annoy you- look at you sideways or something. So you've got a bodyguard. But it can't be you. Yes, it's me. That seems funny, doesn't it... you and the 12 temptations? Sure. I laughed my head off. Well, here i am. Well, now, that's just fine. Let me see. You can... you can go to the photograph gallery with me. What? I have an appointment there at 4:00. That... that's-that's- that's-just a minute. One second. Just a little more light. Ah, that's fine. Oh, the hands... just put the hands out over on that. Just relax a little bit. Give me a little smile. That's right. Hold it just like that, and i'll take one more look. Oh... i've got it. Oh, that is beautiful! Oh, that's so exquisite! Ain't you think she looks just like a... like a... ain't you think so? Maybe you can see something through that thing that i can't see. Well, go ahead. Look, look! Oh, so soft... hey, you can't take this. It's upside down. Oh, no. That's the lens, you see. That's an optical illusion. She stands rightside down on the lens- i mean, she stands upside right- the lens is downside up- who sent for you? I just thought she was standing on her head, that's all. Will you do me a favor? Go over there and sit down. Please? And just mind your business. Thank you. Wait just a second. Now-that's right. Put the hand back. All right. Now hold it. Now-now smile. Wait... here it comes. One... two... 3... 4... fmmph... what's that "fmmph" thing you've got in there? Fmmph. That comes between 4 and 6. Fmmph is... 8... 5... now he picks out a time to ask me what is a fmmph! Fmmph! You-you spoiled the whole thing! Now i got to do it all over again. Now, right here... you hold the bird, will you? That's right. Here, now comes it. Here it comes. The first time i saw you i knew at a glance i was meant to be yours yours alone as i stood before you my heart seemed to dance and i felt like a queen on a throne i could see in your eyes love as bright as the skies and i prayed you would call me your own the first time i saw you i knew at a glance i was meant to be yours yours alone were you singing that song to me? You flatter yourself, don't you? And if i were? What did you say? I said i don't like you. Hmm. That makes me feel very badly. I don't like you, either! Are you quite sure of that? I wish i were just as sure that jim was safe over in jersey with all that cash. Always leaning on jim. What do you mean, always leaning on jim? Well, aren't you? What would you do without his brains, his generosity, his shrewdness? You'd be lost. Without his friendship, i'd be lost. Excuse me, miss mansfield, there are two reporters from the paper to see you. Send them in. Oh, hello, mr. Boyd. We thought you were over in jersey with the erie gang- i mean, fisk and drew. Good evening, miss mansfield. Good evening. What do you want, boys? Anything jim fisk does tonight is news. We're running down a story. What kind of story? You won't get mad if i say it, will you? What is it? They're saying in wall street that the only person smart enough to get the best of jim fisk is-excuse me- is miss mansfield, that vanderbilt's 10 millions will slip through fisk's hands into hers. Wait a minute, mr. Boyd. We were sent up here to ask you. That's our job. Exactly. All right, then i'll tell you. Mr. Fisk is backing a show. Miss mansfield is an actress. That's all there is to it. I've known miss mansfield as long as he has, and i've never known a finer woman. No, malicious gossip isn't news. I don't think your papers want to print it, boys. Thanks, mr. Boyd. That's good enough for us. Yeah. Thanks. No offense. Good night, miss mansfield. Good night. Thank you, nick. That's all right, josie. What else could i do? Did you really mean what you told them about me? No. I was thinking of jim. Ever since i've known you, nick, you've been fighting me because of jim. You knew how he felt, and you didn't want to hurt him... so you tried to hurt me. And you succeeded for a while... till i discovered the reason. What is the reason? You're in love with me. I'm in love with you? Why... what do your guests think about all this, mr. Taylor? I haven't got any guests except mr. Drew and colonel fisk and his soldiers. I don't care what they call the place. They're paying plenty for it. Company... attention! Nick! What are you doing over here? Why aren't you with josie? She got as sick of me as i got of the job. She's all right. Right wheel! March! There's plenty happening over there. Well, let's go in and tell uncle daniel about it. He's awful homesick for news. He's gonna get some. Captain, you take over the company. I ain't up on that army lingo, boss. That's all right. They'll do anything you say. Right wheel! March! See? Fours right in front! March! Fours wrong in back! March! Uncle daniel... you'll be interested in knowing that some wall street fellas have posted a $50,000 reward for your capture and delivery to new york. Oh... and beef dooley is out to get the reward. Beef dooley? Yes. He's organizing a gang around cherry hill to come over here and get you. Salvation, salvation! Cornele's back of this. Give the devil his due. Vanderbilt is a sporting gentleman. I'll bet right now he'd be willing to settle for half of those millions of his you got tucked away in that safe. That's a righteous thought! I ain't greedy. I'm willing to go over to new york and bargain with cornele if you'll give me a guard. I'll give you a guard to keep you here. Huh! If you and vanderbilt ever set down to those millions, there'll be mighty slim pickin's for nick and me. Front wheel! Back wheel! 1486 Right dress! Uh, undress! No, no! Dress! Left by right! Right by left! Fix bayonets! Charge! Army... help! I got 'em stopped, colonel, but they just don't look quite right. Well, just tell 'em to fall out. They'll know what to do. Fall out. Fall down! What good is $10 million if i can't see josie's show open next week? Oh, josie will be all right. Besides, a trip to europe wouldn't do us any harm. There'd be plenty of girls over there glad to see us. Yeah. And there'll be plenty of fellas in new york glad to see josie. And i'm not turning my preferred stock over to anybody-you know that. Yes, of course. You know, it's funny what a difference the flip of a coin will make. If you hadn't lost that silver dollar that night, i would've had fleurique, and you would've had josie. Oh, sergeant! Yes, sir. That cherry hill gang are coming over here looking for a scrap. Cherry hill? Yeah. My bowery boys will be glad to hear that. Ahem! Sorry, sir. There must be some way we can give these bullies a party without getting our uniforms all torn up. Anyway, place a sentry around the ferry dock. Have them give us a signal. Yes, sir. Here they come, colonel. Keep that music going. You all know what do do. And remember... no knives or guns. Only clubs and iron bars for cherry hill, sir. Come on, uncle daniel, up you get. Come on. Up you go. Come on. Turn her on! You want mr. Daniel drew? Yeah! Come up and get him! Cease firing! Hooray! That'll get 'em, huh? Mr. Drew's escaped! What? ! Mr. Drew's escaped! We left him in the room, come out and see the fun, and when we went back, he was gone! Why, you... let's get him! No, wait! We'll get him when he gets his fingers in the flypaper. Cornele, i told you, i've fallen among thieves! I ain't been righteous to you on account of jim fisk. He led me astray, and that's given me a misery in my conscience. I want to get him out before he gets me out. Ahh... now we've got at the bottom of this. Cornele... of course, i don't like to do business on a sunday... but it looks like me and you is gonna swap horses. What about fisk? Has he got anything to say? I put him in. I can put him out. Uncle daniel in the lion's den! Say, what is this? I'm sorry, commodore. Your butler told us that nobody was allowed through the front door, so we came- when a final settlement is made, boys, you'll be in. You bet your giblets, we'll be in. What's the deal, commodore? I get 5 million for half of my stock. Drew says he'll take it out of the erie treasury. Why, uncle daniel, don't you know that my army is defending all that money? That money's mine, too! I'm treasurer of erie. You were the treasurer. We'll settle this right now, commodore. Our stock plus yours controls the voting power. We'll give you your money on one condition: That daniel drew is voted out of the erie railroad! I won't stand that! You can't do that to me! We've got to have order here! If we're going to come to an agreement, we've got to conduct this meeting in parliamentary fashion. Now, all in favor of the basis of settlement as stated by the general- er, colonel-er, well, fisk here-say aye. Aye! Aye! All opposed, no. No, cornele, no! The ayes have it. Drew, you're a dead goose. You're out! You- jim! What? Say, you're just in time. Take a look at this rehearsal. It'll cheer you up. Take a look at this. It'll cheer you up. What, the stockholders on the warpath? What do you expect me to do? Put on sackcloth and ashes? Now, see here, jim, what's got into you? We're in for trouble because these fellas mean business. They're trying to have you indicted for buying this opera house with erie funds. Aw, cool off and take a look at the birdies. Now, wait a minute, jim. You can't joke about this. It's all right to fight drew and vanderbilt, but you can't fight the public! They say you're swindling erie and everything else you can lay your hands on so you can get more money to squander on josie mansfield! Keep josie out of this. These fellas won't keep her out of it. Why don't you wake up, jim? Josie mansfield's making a fool out of you! Hold your horses! I didn't think there was anything i couldn't take from you, but there is. Now, don't say it again! I wouldn't be your friend if i didn't. Don't say it! You can't get mad at me. We've been through too much together. You don't know anything about her, so shut up! I'll shut up! But you got to tell me what you're gonna do about josie mansfield! I'll tell you what i'm going to do! I'm going to marry her... if she'll have me. You don't like her. That's all right. But don't mention her name again. You think she's in love with you? I never figured i was much of a ladies' man. You've said that to me many times, nick. But when a man feels about a woman like i do about josie... he begins to believe in miracles. You really feel that way about her, eh, jim? That ain't half what i feel about her. I wish i could lay my hands on all the gold in the world just for the fun of making her happy. Maybe she don't love me yet, she likes me. That's something, ain't it? Sure. That's a lot. I sort of flew off the handle when you said what you did. I'm sorry. I don't blame you. Nick. Jim's going to ask me to marry him tonight. What can i say to him? You know what to say. Well, i can't marry him. L- i don't love him. You know that. I can't help you, josie. You've known this was coming for a long time. You've taken everything he's offered you. Now you've got to pay for it. But not with love. Jim loves you, josie... and i don't. If you don't go through with it, everything i ever said about you is true. You know, i never asked you... if you'd let me give you a ring for that finger. Will you put it on? Nick. I had to see you, josie. Josie, you did the right thing tonight. I've been walking the streets for hours telling myself that. And i want you to know i lied to you. About you and me? I knew it. Once, i thought that a star on a dressing room door would be worth any sacrifice. But the one sacrifice i never figured on... i'm going to make that, nick. I'm glad you feel that way about it, josie. She is so beautiful so lovely all is vanity and vanity will make you blind do you hear that? That's dividends for the josie mansfield corporation. If i had a thousand lives to live in revelry i'd live them aah! Once there was a man taught me how to love parted that's jim fisk, everybody! He's the biggest thief in new york! He robbed the erie to put on this show! He built this place with our money! You bought this opera house with our money, fisk! We'll show you up! You return that money! Who pays for josie mansfield's diamonds? The stockholders! How did you get the money for this show, jim fisk? Jim's just a thief! You robbed the stockholders! Whenever you get your head above the clouds, somebody's jealous, somebody wants to throw stones. Laugh at 'em like i do. The trouble is we're not holding our heads high enough. They can still reach us. Do you suppose they would have dared make fun of old vanderbilt like they did you and me? Not by a jugful! We're going to climb higher- all of us! We're going to climb so high that they'll have to break their necks looking at us! There's only one way to do it-money. I'm going to build a throne of gold and put you on it. Jim, what are you talking about? Gold! I wear a couple of tinhorn sports chasing paper money. Greenbacks are nothing but notes that uncle sam writes on to tell us he's got the gold. I want what they stand for-all of it! Wait a minute. Nobody can do that. Nobody's ever had my idea. How much gold do you think is in actual circulation in this country? Only 20 millions. What would happen if we buy and buy and buy till we cornered it? We could raise the price of gold 3 times what it is now- pay for what we bought out of the profits and come out holding more gold than anybody ever had in their hands since the days of king midas. But you can't corner gold, jim. The government would stop you. How? They'd release gold from washington. They'd swamp you. I'll take care of washington. Now, look, jim, put a bridle on that wild imagination. You try to put a false price on gold, and you'll pull down the financial structure of this whole country! There'll be a panic you can't stop, nor anybody else! Where's your nerve? ! Jim, i won't let you do it. Nobody is going to say things to you, josie, like they did tonight. Nick don't feel about you the way i do or he wouldn't be talking like he is, trying to throw cold water over the greatest idea i ever had! The most dangerous idea. Don't you worry about me. I never failed yet at anything. I'm not going to fail now. I told you a long time ago i had the golden touch. Now i'm going to prove it! Well, if you try, jim, i can't go with you. For the first time in my life, i can't go with you. You mean you'd split partners? I'd have to. Aren't you getting kind of moral all of a sudden? No. No, i guess it's just time for me to get out. Nick. Jim, don't let him go! If you're doing this for me, it's wrong! Don't worry. He'll be back tomorrow. Just come from the gold exchange, boss. It's buzzing over there like a hornet's nest. You know, i'm going to put a scare into washington till they padlock that treasury. There she goes, up again. You know, gold's jumped 4 points since you started buying it. Jim. Oh, josie! You're just in time to see the fireworks start. Jim, where's nick? In his office, i guess. Haven't you seen him yet? I've been waiting all day for him to come through that door. It's not so far to come. But it's not so far to go, either. I'm sorry, josie, i can't do it. Please, boss. Jim, you've got to do it. Do it for my sake. Hello, nick. Hello, jim. Gold's just hit 125. It's not too late if you still want to come in. It's not too late for you to get out. Stop fooling with gunpowder, jim. I won't stop until it hits 200. I'll bet you $50,000 i can put it up to 200. I'll take you... because if you do that, money won't mean anything. There won't be any wall street. You've lost your reason, jim. You're getting drunk- drunk with power. 10,000 at 140. I'll take it. 25,000 at 140. I'll take that. I'm taking all the gold that's being offered. Now, name your price. 50,000 at 140. I'll take it. 100,000 at 140. I'll buy it! A million at 140. And i'll buy that! The trading is closed for the day, gentlemen. I've found him, josie. Well, josie, here i am. What do you want? Nick, is it true- what jim told me? That i'm fighting him? Yes. Look, josie, do you think i'd have walked out on him if i didn't have to? I'm trying to save him from himself. He can't win. He'll not only be hated, he'll be ruined. And you'll make millions. Yes... and it'll all be his if he wants it. Josie, we've both got to help him because he's after something that no human being can have. Are you sure? Isn't he the kind of man that can get everything he wants? Not everything, josie. You can't have everything you want. Life doesn't work out that way. You and i know that. There are some things you want... more than anything else in the world... that you know you can't have. Company, halt! Pull it in there. Left face! Order! Arms! Hello, luke. The boys are here, colonel. What do you got your uniform on for? If that wall street crowd want a battle, i'm gonna give 'em a gulletful. I'm going down to the gold exchange and finish my killing. Did you read the morning papers? Sure. They got my name plastered all over the place, just like a circus show bill. This is the greatest day of my life. Yeah. They was throwing rocks at you yesterday. They're blaming everything on you, jim, and they say that if gold keeps going up that every brokerage firm on the street is going right to the wall. That's why they called it "wall street." Get out of my way! You can't go in there! Good morning, commodore. Fisk, you're either the smartest man that ever came down the pike or the greatest fool. I didn't think a cheap jack like you could start a panic. Now, i've just telegraphed washington that if they don't open up the treasury and put more gold into circulation today, it'll be the blackest friday in the history of this country. That's very friendly of you, commodore, but i think you're too late. You can fight me, fisk, but you can't fight 40 million people. When the exchange opens, i'll be down there buying, buying, buying! All right. I warned you. Thank you, commodore. Ha ha! Luke, get my carriage. It's time for me to charge the enemy. No. I'm not gonna let you budge from this office, jim. It's worth your life. You think i'm going to back down now because of those hot-air threats? You think i'm scared? You could fight just as hard back of that ticker as you can down in the gold room. That's a great idea. I'll stay here behind the barricades. Before the exchange opens, you go down there and tell my brokers to keep on buying. When gold reaches 200, i'll march down there in glory. After this is all over, you can do all the parading you want to, but you don't have to go down there today! Oh, yes, i do. When gold reaches 200, i got to be there to collect a bet. Are you going for me now, or must i spoil a good idea by going myself? I'm going, boss. Buy and keep on buying. Buy! Buy, she is. You boys watch that door and don't let nobody get in there, you hear me? I want to see jim fisk! Aah! I'll bid 25,000! I'll buy it. Any more bids? Who's got gold? I'll bid 25,000 at 145! Sold! 500,000! Brady and morrison are unable to meet their obligations. Nathan, harken, and brown have failed! Martin and blake have failed! Greenfield company- failed! Tennyson and ames- failed! There's still no word from washington, gentlemen. There hasn't been a share of stock sold on the exchange this morning. Everyone's afraid to buy because they don't know what money's worth. I've announced 78 failures with more to follow. I hate to go back to my chair. They've lost all sense of reason in the gold room- hundreds of madmen screaming at each other. Wall street will be closed tomorrow because i don't see how we can stop fisk now. Josie! Josie, look. Gold is going up and up and up! In a few hours, i'll be as rich as a king! We're not going to have a wedding, we're going to have a coronation! Jim, will you let me talk to you? What's the matter? Is anything wrong? Everything's wrong, jim. Everything. Well, what is it? Tell me. Well, I- i've never tried to talk to you before about business, but- that's because you're nervous about me, like luke is. It's not that, jim. It's what you're doing. It isn't right. You're only thinking of yourself. I'm only thinking of you, josie. What about nick? He's disloyal! He goes down with the rest! Must everyone go down except you, jim? You don't realize what you're doing. People are losing everything. They're suffering. They're being ruined. They're killing themselves. You're hated, jim. But only by the little people, josie. Are we any different than little people, jim? I was one when i met you. You made me big with your courage and your ideas and your money. But if this is what it means, i don't want it, jim. It comes too high. What do we care what the world is saying? Tomorrow, i'll buy it and give it to you! I don't want it! Right now, there are only two people in this world that count-you and me! I'm just beginning to feel the power that's in me. I know now that nothing can stop me. Whatever stands in my way must go down! Jim, i don't know you. I'm almost afraid of you. No, you're not afraid of me. You're afraid of life, josie. But i'm going to make you love it as much as i do as much as i love you. What's happened to you, jim? You used to be kind and generous. You were the kindest man i ever knew. But now you've grown selfish and unkind. What's happened to your heart, jim? It belongs to you, josie, just like you're going to belong to me. Stop being afraid. We've climbed above right and wrong. They're trying to pull us down, but they can't. We're going higher and higher and higher! Offering 150 for any part of 2 million! 500,000 at 150! I'll take it. Any more bids? If it breaks 160, it'll hit 200! We're not gonna let it break 160! Jim! She's just broke 150. 150? 157! Why aren't you in the gold room? Oh, i'm getting jumpy, boss. I tell you, wall street's gone plumb crazy. This thing's out of control! Because i got 'em cornered! I got all the gold there is outside the treasury. But i'm still buying, luke. We can't hold anymore! We're done for! Let's get out of here while we're still alive! I can't stay with you! It's going to hit 200! Stick with me! You can't lose! 1621/2! Josie! Jim! Look, josie. 1621/2. i got 'em cornered. I got all the gold there is! They've got to buy from me now, at any price i name. Here it is. Gentlemen! President grant is releasing unlimited gold from the united states treasury! The gold corner is broken! Jim fisk! Let's get jim fisk! Luke! Line up the soldier boys. We're marching on wall street to show 'em who's king! Jim, come here! Jim, look! There's something wrong! Jim, what's happened? I... just lost a bet, josie. We're not gonna march today, luke. We're never gonna march again. I'm broke, josie. Jim fisk is busted. I'm right back where i started. Jim... don't worry about me, josie. I'm all right. I was just laughing to think that for the first time in his life, nick was smarter than i was. And i thought i was bigger than anybody else. Don't you worry, josie. You've got yours. See how smart i was to make you take all those things i gave you? You've got your million. No, jim, i haven't. Oh, of course you have. What do you mean? I gave it all to nick. I had to, jim. He needed money desperately. I had to help him. Don't you see? Sure, i see. Try to understand. I understand. I'm just beginning to understand. We know you're in there, jim fisk! Come out, you yellow-bellied crook! What's the matter? Are you afraid? Come on out of there! Jim, you can't go out there. They'll mob you! You think i'm afraid of a mob? Jim! You stay here, josie. This is one time the colonel is going to be at the front of his regiment. Jim! Jim! What's the matter, boys? Losing your nerve? This is no joke, fisk! This is no joke! If it is a joke, it's on me! You can't talk yourself out of this! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! You were after money, the same as i was. You would've cornered gold if you could've done it. I'm broke, too. I'm right back where i started 10 years ago- right down to my last dollar. But i'll get on top, and you'll stay right where you are! You belong in the streets! Get back into the streets! Get a doctor. Yes, sir. Take it easy, jim. The doctor's coming. You're going to be all right. Jim! Jim. I'm all right, josie. Lie still, jim. Don't move. I'll go. No, no, no. Don't go, luke. We can't split partners now. We're not going to split partners, jim. We never have, and we never will. Take it easy, boss. You're gonna be all right. You're gonna pull through. Sure, i will. You know, it's a great life. I wouldn't sell this next minute for... for a million dollars. Nick... i owe you a bet. But i ain't got the money to pay it. Josie... nick... she's a gilt-edged corporation. Mr. Boyd, we can get through to the hospital now. I got a carriage for the colonel. No, i don't want any carriage. Got a golden chariot comin' for me. I wonder if those gates are really made of gold. Right, then. Go straight to the office... Don't dawdle on the way Don't worry I'll call in 30 minutes to check Oh, hello Fujio Is your mother here, too? Why are you outside? It's no fun listening to women's talk Well, why don't we go in together? I'm fine out here Right, you wait out here Aunty! Tell mom... If she's not out soon, I'm leaving! I'll tell her Mrs. Ishino has arrived Good Welcome Please come in I hope you're well Been here long? A little while You're very pretty, today You look stunning, today Today you're really beautiful What's with the "today-today"? She always thinks she's beautiful Cheeky! That's a lovely wrap! You're being sarcastic You bought it at Mitsukoshi? No, is it too earthy? Earthy? You don't feel it is? How old are you? Old enough Terrible, terrible What's so funny? Isn't that it? Perhaps you're right Getting a lot of lines recently Grows older? You don't have to spell it out Only when laughing, though I've tried it in front of the mirror See, no lines that time? Isn't there? Let's hear it again Reminds one of a zoo Cheeky! Gotta give it up Fujio is tired of waiting You'd better leave Can you solve this? What? If you have thirty two 5 sen and 1 sen coins... And you're short 2 sen on a bill of Y130 How many of each denomination did you have? What is it? Fujio's homework, from yesterday He's starting junior high this year The preliminaries are so complicated And if I can't do the work he's been set... It kept me up till 2 a.m Working on this? Yes. Go on, solve it Thirty two 5 sen and 1 sen coins 2 sen short on a bill of Y130 Forget it. It's our cross to bear Wait. If you call it X... You can't do it like that! No using algebra A total of 32 coins... And no using real coins! Right! I've got it! It just takes patience No, that's wrong too You don't have to get upset about it They don't do this in junior If you could do it you'd say they do Couldn't the doctor find me a tutor? Perhaps from among his students I simply can't do it myself Please ask him You worry too much I don't really care who just so long as he's clean You're just after a Fredrick March type That would be lovely Please, I'm serious I'll keep my eyes open Don't forget, will you? Please, for Fujio's sake You're leaving? Off to the Ginza Today's act of motherly love My niece from Osaka arrives here tomorrow It'll be good to see her again I like the girl She's such a smart, tidy girl Goodbye! Goodbye! Didn't know you had a sister like this Be serious. Silly Goodbye I'm getting hungry Is there anything to eat? There are some biscuits Something a little more solid? Like what? What is there? Noodles? Noodles? How about sushi? A bit too cold... Then what... Rice? Topped with eel. But then again... You're hard to please Rice with a helping of eel on the side In a tiered box You eat a lot! Is one enough? If not, I'll have biscuits Stupid! Is the doctor home? No, he's at the university Right, he teaches on Wednesdays It's Nakanishi on the phone I'll take it in here Hello, I'm just testing now It looks bad for you You'll never have children Tidy this up, please Sir, it's time for your class Which room? Number 27 Okada! The book I ordered has arrived Can you bring it to my place? "Salmonella was rife in the town of Frankenhausen" When Dr. Gartner discovered the baccilus name after him in 1888 The mode of infection is yet to be discovered But a detectable relationship has been established with the spirochette of the encephalitic bacterium which reaches epidemic proportions Nowadays, what we call encephalitis was identified by a Dr. Ekonomo in Vienna in 1919 Whether the two are the same or not is still a matter of speculation Looking beyond these questions at Dr. Ekonomo's diagnosis of lethargic encephalitis... Like our friend here there's no evidence it attacks during winter So he doesn't have it Ready? Going back to the original question... Hiya, Red. Here? Bring him in. Bring him down. I think you'll unbutton your lip now, Joe. Maybe you'll talk to your son. My what? Here. Hiya, sonny boy! Had a long trip today, huh? Oh, sort of confused. Well, your old man's confused, too. My father? Is my father here? Where? Right here, the great Joe Krozac. He's been pining for you, sonny boy. Father? That's not my father. Sure it is. Ain't he pretty? Are you all crazy? Y- you're kidding, ain't you? How do I know this is my-my- This ought to make it sink home. See? That's my father. That's dads and mother. You're just kidnappers, aren't you? I see what you're heading for. No use trying anything with this kid, see? Because that ain't a picture of that dame. No, no, that ain't the woman! I ought to know! - Curly ought to know, too. - You're screwy, Curly. That's just somebody who looks like her. You ain't going to work the boy over, are you? That all depends on you, Joe. You wanna talk? Listen, boy- You're not mine, see? They just think you are, see? So no matter what they do to you, you can take it. I know that you can. Just like your old man, see? I don't know what you're talking about! Let me go home to mother and dads! Don't let them throw you, Joey! Start him off. I think you'll decide to talk, Joe. Start walking, Sonny. - What ? - Get a move on! Walk! Pick them up! Feet! Feet! All right, my son. Dad's at breakfast. You're not going to sleep all day, are you? Oh, always throwing your things around. Don't you want to eat breakfast ? Paul! Paul! Paul! What is it? - They've taken him! He's come and taken him! Oh, he has him now! I'll never see him again! And he'll tell him everything! - What are you going to do? - I'm going to call Washington. The police? No! It'll get in the papers, and wherever he is, he'll see it! He'll show it to him! All we've been trying to hide! Washington has known all along about you and Paul. They've had to. It's their business. But I swear to you, they'll keep this thing absolutely quiet. When I tell them to, it will break in every paper in the country. It will be hard for him, but I think that boy has enough spirit to outlive anything. Spin around, Sonny. That's the ol' kid. Getting hot, Paulsy walsie? How about a nice, cool drink of ice water? You wouldn't give me the sandwich, you won't give me the water. You heard that? I guess that told you! I don't know whose kid he is, but he's as game as a pit dog! That's throwing it in there, kid! Whoever his old man is, he ought to be proud of him! Come on, Curly. What are we waiting for? Wait, don't! Please, don't! Are you gonna talk, Joe? Ok, start giving the kid a workout. Oww! Please, don't! Shut up! Cut it out! Ok! Will you talk now? Ok. I'll tell you. Anybody still live in my old Westchester home? No, it's closed up. Well, out by the swimming pool is a great big... This is the last stop, Joe. What? Come on! We're saying good-bye, papa. The kid, too? Sure, with our love and kisses. He must be hotter than a firecracker now, And we got enough hot stuff as it is. Yeah, you can get to know the kid better! Then maybe all 4 of you can live together! How are you ducking bullets, Joe? Yeah, the feds will be shooting at you from all sides! Thanks for the bus fare! They ain't getting away with a thing. That dough ain't going to be theirs for long. Was there much? The box looked real full. Plenty. But that don't matter. Soon as I straighten out that old lady of yours, I'll take care of those smart double-crossers- One by one, from Curly down! And there won't be any mistaking who done it. The Krozac trademark will be stamped all over them! Come on. Are you coming home with me? Yeah, I got a date with that dame in your watch fob. My-my mother? Ok, call her that. I guess I don't understand you at all. Mother and dads will be awfully glad, after all you've done. Yeah, I wonder. There's a lot of things you don't understand, But you will soon enough, because you're my kind of a kid, see? I guess. It's awfully funny about those men thinking I was your son, isn't it ? No, no, it isn't. Because you are my son, see? That's one thing you've got to get right now. I can get home without you. You don't need to come along. Now wait a minute, Joey. Just a second, Joey. My name isn't Joey. It's Paul North, jr. You're crazy if you say it's anything else. I think you're all crazy anyway! Let me alone! Hey! No kid of mine is going to hand me any lip! I didn't sweat half my life in a steel box to come out and get this from you! You're Joe! Joe Krozac, jr., Understand? And you and I are going back to that dame -your mother- She'll tell you that I'm your father from first to last, understand ? - Yes. - You gonna behave ? Sure. Sure, I am. Come on. We got to get out of this. Dig in under. That's what you do with a haystack. Did you leave any money for the eggs? Boy, you sure got funny ideas. But you and I are going to get along all right. We won't have any more beefs on each other. I hope not. 'Cause you got brains. You know, I like brains around me. Your angle on digging last night, you know? And this fire, with the poles and everything- Where did you learn that kind of stuff? From dads. You see, he taught me all about camping out like this. You see, we went on a camp hike last month- Come on, come on. Let's get moving. - We had a race to see who could- - Come on, come on. catch the most fish, and he caught 20 bass and pickerel, and that only made- Fish, fish... go on, stop that, will you? Lay off of that stuff. I don't give that fish stuff a nod, no matter how many you've caught. - I'm sorry. - What are you sorry about? Always feeling sorry. Don't do that, kid, will you? Waste of time. Come on. I'm sor... I mean, ok. Attaboy. You'll smarten up with me, all right. Yes? Washington? Ok, put them on. Yes, yes, speaking. What? Yes, where? But what about my... Oh. Yes. I'll be here all the time. What? Nothing about Paul yet, darling. They caught up with the Krozac gang and shot it out with them. They're all dead. But they didn't have Paul. But what about him? He wasn't with them, either. Then he has him. He has my little boy! I'll never see him again! You all right, kid? I guess so. Say, what's that? Got decorated, huh? It's just a medal they gave me in school. Lincoln medal. That's pretty good, huh? I guess it is kind of an honor. Why do they call it a Lincoln medal? You got to look like Abraham Lincoln? Oh, no. You see, it's for outstanding achievement. Yeah? And, well, Lincoln was a great man. Oh, sure. Lincoln was ok. But if they'd have put Napoleon on there, it would've been a real first-class medal. Napoleon? Yeah. Dads said Napoleon got a swollen head. That's what beat him down. So now he's going to pay off Napoleon, is he? Smart guy, is he? Now he's gonna pay off Napoleon! Maybe he won that medal instead of you. As a matter of fact, he did help me get it. Well, that's what he said. Well, you see, I almost flunked in math, and dads showed me a new way to- Can that Dads stuff! - But I only said- - Cut it out, you hear me? Dads, dads, dads! You call me that if you want to call anybody dads! You're my kid, see? Joey! Joe Krozac, jr.! You'll get that into your head right now, or- Please, don't! Don't, Joe! You're getting all sick again! Please! Guess this will have to wait. Now you've hurt your sore eye. Here- I've got some adhesive in my emergency pocket. I'll just clean it up a little. Here's your medal, Kid. I can't now, I'm too busy. I'll keep it for you. Well, we got a croaker. Always come in handy in our family - Eh, kid? Huh? Oh, yes. Come on. Wake up, kid. Come on, Come on, kid. We got to walk in in style. Oh-oh! Honey child! He's back! Oh, my darling's back! My boy! It's all right, mother. I'm home now. Oh, yes, yes, I know, darling. No, I'm all right. Oh, my dear! Hi, dads. I'm here. Oh, son! That's a boy. You all right? - Yeah, but I have to sleep. Leave him alone. Oh, it's all right, Joe. You see Joe, Joe Krozac is his name- He brought me home. Didn't you, Joe? There you are. You got quite a ducking, didn't you, son? Here, I'll do that. The last time it rained, we slept in a haystack. You should have been with us, dads. It was fun. I'll bet it was. You know, Joe tried to make a fire, and I showed him how. The way you showed me. Didn't I, Joe? Let's get this coat off. You two must have had some experience, huh? Yes. Here are your pajamas, darling. The ones you like... How about a big glass of hot milk? Oh, no. I'm... too sleepy, I guess. You ask Joe. Joe is probably hungry, though. Joe, you talk with Mother and dads. They can help anybody. You see, mother and dads, Joe isn't very well. Sometimes he doesn't realize what he's saying. But it's all right, Joe. You can talk with mother and dads. They're wonderful. You've probably never had anyone like them, because you wouldn't have had all the trouble you've had. Every now and then, Joe thinks he has a son like me. He even calls me Joey. It was funny. I wasn't afraid of him, But... He's a good scout. He's ok. Good night. Can I get you something to eat, Joe? Thank you for bringing him back. With all my heart, I thank you. You are proud of him, aren't you? He is the kind of a boy you really hoped for, isn't he? Isn't he, Joe? I don't know. I wouldn't say that. He ain't the kind of kid I'd put my money on, exactly. You got him conned into one way of thinking, so what the heck? Let him stay that way, for all I give a darn. He didn't swallow what I told him, anyway. You can just tell him I was nuts, you know. Stir-crazy. Me? I like a kid with some... with some get-up-and-go to him! I like a kid that knows all the answers, all the angles. Why, I like a kid that... H- how do you get out of here? Good luck, Joe. Hello, Joe. I saw you delivering your boy. Aren't you staying to take him over now? You're running out on him, eh? Getting big-hearted. That touches me, Joe. I'm going to help you. Start walking into the alley. Well, you've had a nice, long time to think about it, and now it's here, Joe. Move on. Now just stand there a minute and I'll give you something else to think about. So you're kind of bashful about letting people know he's your boy, are you? Well, I'll do it for you, Joe. After I pump you full of this, I'm going to drop a little note to every newspaper in town. Going to tell them about your boy. Going to tell them what you don't seem so proud of anymore. That he's Joe Krozac's son. All his little pals are going to know it from now on, Joe. No, you won't. Stay there, Joe, I haven't finished. They'll all know it, Joe, everybody. Joe Krozac, jr.! Joe Krozac... subtitles resynched and adapted by cinephage from the TCM cc How you doing, Ed? Ooh. Terrible. I feel like that drill was driving right through the top of my head. It might be a good idea at that. Let out that beer you slopped up last night. - Quit riding me, will you? - I ain't even started on you yet. - Come on. Let's eat. - No, Frank, I couldn't. Come on, do you good. You gotta eat. - I got just the thing to straighten you out. - What is it? Some nice ice-cold oatmeal smothered with lard. Go get some more. Yeah? Let's get some more. Come on. Tomato juice, eh? Hmm. Well, next best thing in the world for a hangover. Yeah? Well, what's the best? Heh. Laying off of the booze entirely. What time did he roll in last night? Oh, I wouldn't know that. - I never check up on me boarders. - Your daughter's checking on him. Well, I wouldn't be surprised if she was trying to. She'd better before that Pearl Danvers makes a tramp out of him. Lay off, will you? I'm through with that dame. I was out with her to tell her goodbye. - Yeah? What did she say when you told her? - She said, "Goodbye. Call me up soon. " Shame on you guys, wasting your time in idle chatter. Look at Joe over there. Hey, Dombrowski. What do you got there, a honyock back scratcher? A slide rule to figure out these stress formulas. What's that got to do with running a lathe? Nothing. It's to do with designing one. Aw. Running a lathe ain't good enough for you, huh? Now you gotta learn how to design one. It ain't your time he's wasting, is it? His going to school don't hurt you. No, he's always got his nose in a book. Well, it's his nose, ain't it? And a plenty big one at that. - Hey, Cliff, why don't you stop? Hello, fellas. How are you? Hello, Tommy. I got news for you. - This came from the division super. Ahem. Yeah? "To Mr. Thomas W. Smith. Subject: Promotion. Effective July 12th, you'll report to Division Superintendent James to assume your new duties as assistant general shop foreman. " - Well, congratulations, boy. - Thanks. Well... You seem glad to get rid of your old foreman. No, we ain't. Glad to see you get it. Hey, Tommy, who's gonna crack the whip in your place? As far as I know, the job's still open. They'll fill it the way they always have. Move the best man up. Well who would you say the best man is, Tommy? Heh-heh. Kid, if they ask me, I'll have to tell them you're all pretty good. Ha-ha. You know darn well I'm better than pretty good. Sure. You're the guy that wrote those books Dombrowski's always studying. There's one for you, wise guy. Hey, there she blows. Let's go back. Till Monday, I'm still the best man. Yes, sir, Mr. Smith. Hey, you big ape, you. Get in there. Tommy was kidding. You've been here longer than the rest. You can run this shop as well as you run that drill press. - I'll fight the guy that says you can't. - I hope they think that way up front. Forget it. You're a cinch. - You sure you're rooting for the right guy? - Sure. Think it over. I'm warning you there ain't gonna be no hangovers in no shop I'm boss of, get it? - Okay, Mr. Taylor. - Oh. Starting to red apple the boss already, huh? Well, come on, we'll give them a week's work between now and quitting time. Sure that will do you? Oh, yes, thanks. I'll return it first thing in the morning. Even if you don't, it's all right. I still owe you four eggs and that half bottle of bluing I got from you. - Oh, gee, Betty, that looks swell. - I hope it tastes all right. The men are getting hard to please. Not your pa. He eats anything. I trained him like that. You know, you gotta train a man just like you would a dog. So it's Ed Jackson who's hard to please. Are you going to start that again? Yes, I am. And I'm going to keep it up until you and Ed do something about it. - What are you waiting for? - That's what I keep telling her. I guess it's polite to wait until you're asked. Don't be silly. No man ever proposes unless he's pushed into it, isn't that right? It most certainly is. And with that blond hussy chasing after Ed he's going to need a lot of help to shove him into proposing. - That's what I keep telling her. - Please. All right, but I know what I'm talking about. You've got to make up Ed's mind for him just like I made up your father's. Men being the simple-minded creatures they are. There are the boys. I've gotta run. Much obliged for the butter. I'll return you the eggs and bluing, Mrs. Taylor. Oh, hello, Ruth. - Hello, I'm robbing you again. Hi, Ed. Hi, Ruth. Hello, sweet. How's everything? Couldn't be better. I got to talking and almost forgot supper. I'm glad you said "almost" because I'm hungry. - And I'm a man that really gets hungry. - Oh, no. What you got there, margarine? No, butter. I borrowed it. Butter, huh? Hey, what is this, Christmas or something? Hello, Pop. - Hey, get a load of this. - Buddy, look at yourself. - What's the matter? - He's all right. We'll run him through the wringer. He'll wash. - How was the ball game? - We beat the daylights out of them. - You did, eh? What was the score? - Sixty-three to 40. But we only played five innings. Fat hit a homer and we lost the ball. And you've torn your pants again. Well, I was sliding into third and Muggy spiked me. Yeah, what did you do to him? I smacked him. You know, when I was his age, I could lick any kid in the neighborhood. - Ouch. - What's the matter? - That's where he smacked me back. That's all there is. The fellows think I'm gonna get the job. And I... Well, I'm the best man in the shop, ain't I? Gee, Pop, you'll be foreman and that's about the highest job there is, ain't it? Heh-heh-heh. Well, I wouldn't say that but it's pretty high. Well, wait till I tell Muggy about this. He thinks he's hot because his uncle used to be a foreman. Yeah, we'll get Muggy, won't we? - Come on, boys, dinner's ready. Okay. And if I'd have known about this, I'd have fixed us a real spread. Oh, don't you worry, kid. We got from now on to celebrate. - I'm not hungry, Mrs. Grogan. - You've got to eat. All you had for lunch was a can of tomatoes. Go on and eat. - Oh, don't worry. I'll be over this tomorrow. - You will if you stay home tonight. - Yeah. - Never mind, I'll get it. Hello? Oh. Just a moment, please. Ed, it's for you. Mrs. Danvers. - Thanks, Betty. - You're welcome, I'm sure. Hello? Hello, Eddie. Oh, I'm fine. I just wanted to find out how you were. Huh? Oh, gee, that's too bad. Say, it must have been the gin chasers. It couldn't have been the beer. Oh, I just called up to tell you I'm not mad about what you said last night. No. Well, you know, about our not having any more dates. No, I've forgiven you already. Uh-huh. I couldn't stay mad at a swell guy like you. Well, that's fine. No. No, I couldn't. Saturday, I gotta work. Sunday, I'm going to a picnic. Well, no, I couldn't take you. It's not exactly a picnic. Some fellas and I are going fishing. Yeah, I'll call you up sometime. Goodbye. I see by the paper they're having a sale of vacuum cleaners down at the fair. I think I'll get you one. Plenty of time for that. When will you know about the job for sure? I ought to hear from the super tomorrow. After I get the vacuum, I'm gonna get you a new coat. I think maybe we can doll this house up a little bit. Maybe we can get rid of that heap and get us a real car. Do you think we should? The old car runs all right. I got the swellest wife and kid in the world, ain't I? And the best ain't none too good for them. That's swell of you, honey, but we gotta pay the folks that helped us when you were out of work. - Oh, we'll clean that up in no time. - Ha-ha. - Yeah, I think maybe we ought to get some new dishes too. Hey, Pop, come on. You're missing out on Speed Foster. What's he doing? Still hanging on by his teeth? Yeah, but he's in terrible danger. Go ahead, darling. Hang on by your teeth and I'll hang on to the dishes. With super-human courage that defies anything else he's done before he fights his way up out of the pit while the man-eating crocodiles gnash their teeth in rage at the escape of their victim. - Gee, crocodiles. Oh, boy. - He'll get away from them like he did from those man-eating sharks. Bet I could if I was Speed Foster. - ready to strike. Kadonka kill white devils. Speed laughs at him in scorn and roars: Throw that spear at me and you die, Kadonka. Kadonka, he big warrior. Hold poison... All right, lay one down there, boy. I sure hope Frank gets to be foreman. Hah. Boy, how we'll stall on him. Or maybe you guys are too dumb to know how to stall. I guess everybody around here's pretty dumb, except you. That's telling him, Eddie, old boy. That's telling him. Ha-ha. Frank will do all right on the job. He's got lot of good practical experience in this shop. Every time I say anything, you always wanna start an argument. - What is it? - Don't be discouraged. Keep trying. Maybe someday you'll say something that makes sense. Hey, Joe, come here. I need you. Sure, Tommy. Anything wrong? Nothing Dombrowski can't fix. Come on. I wanna have a talk with you. Doesn't that make you feel proud and dignified? Oh, boy. Hey, that's a honey of a dashboard too. Strictly airplane type, Mr. Taylor. - Yeah, airplane, huh? - Mm-hm. - Good-looking cigarette lighter. - Yes. - Does it work? - Sure, it works. Try it. You get 18 miles on a gallon with this car. That ought to mean a lot to a man in your circumstances. - Oh! Yeah, heh, it works all right. - Sure it works. You get more for your dollar than in any car in this country. - You'll want delivery. - I won't know till tonight. - I'm getting a new job and a raise. - Congratulations. I wouldn't wanna sign till they tell me. I'd hate to see you wait too long. This is the only light-colored phaeton. Tell you what. You got my number. Give me a buzz. - Be glad to. - Okay. - Thank you. - Say, if my wife answers, don't tell her. - I won't. - I'm getting this as a surprise for the family. - I'm wise. - Wait till you meet. I got the cutest wife and kid you ever saw. So long. Congratulations, Joe. Good luck, kid. Good luck. Congratulations. I'm glad to see you get it. Best to you. - Hey, Frank. Come here and meet out new foreman, Joe Dombrowski. - Nice going, Joe. - Thank you. He won't feel like going. Best thing is to leave him alone. He'll get over it. Oh, come on. At least we can try and help him. - Come on. - All right. - Hey, anybody home? Hello, Ed. - Hello. - How are you? - Come on. How about a movie? - No, thanks. - Why don't you and Buddy go? - I'd rather not. It's late for Buddy and I ought to finish these socks. Come on, Frank, you and Ruth can chaperon us. Lay off. I told you I don't wanna go. What are you gonna do? Stay and make faces at yourself all night? Will you go on to the movies and let me alone? Come on. No job's worth eating your heart out. But it was my job, wasn't it? You said so. I said so, but the company didn't. They got their own ideas. Where did they get the idea Dombrowski was so hot? Well, he invented that oiling system that they're using now. He's saving them dough. They figure that a guy who could do that could save them in other ways. He's got his nose in a book and going to school while we lay around and listen to radio. You gotta hand it to him. They've already handed it to him, ain't they? I suppose if I went around showing off reading books they'd make me president of the company. If you wanna be a sorehead, forget it. Sorehead? Sure I'm a sorehead. Ain't I got a right to be? How would you like it if you'd been counting on a break sure you was gonna get it and all you got was laughed at just because some guy's been sucking around the boss? - Yeah? - Hello, Mr. Taylor. This is Jenkins of the Zenith Auto Sales Company. I showed you the car this afternoon. Well, forget it. I changed my mind. I don't want the car. I tell you I don't want it. I can't afford it. You two better go on. You'll be late for the show. Yes, we'd better. Come on, Ed. - Goodbye, Ruth. - Goodbye. - Goodbye. Have a nice time. - Goodbye. So long, Frank. Good Omen was second. Hordes of grasping, pushing foreigners who are stealing jobs from American workmen and bread from American homes. It is to combat this peril, to preserve and protect standards of living which made American workmen the envy of the world that we, the challengers, have raised our rallying cry, "America for Americans. " The problems has got beyond the point where the American workman can cope with it alone. He needs guidance, solidarity and expert advise on the subject of protecting his job. We, the challengers, are organized to provide that solidarity and advise. - Pop. - Ours is an organization... - Can we listen to Speed Foster? - No. Listen to this guy. He's talking sense. It is an organization of which it might be said, "He who is not with us is against us. " The choice, my friends, is a simple one. Do you want our red, white and blue flag replaced by the vile banner of anarchy? The time has come when we must realize what is going on in this great land of ours. When the real, hundred percent American must stop and think. How did you like the picture, Ed? - It's good to get out. It was hot. - I didn't notice it but I suppose I would if I'd been drinking as many beers as you have. Thanks for reminding me. Let's get some. - Why don't you have an ice cream soda? - Oh, no. Do you have to wake up with a hangover? - Come on. Let's go into Nick's. - All right. Well, kids, how do you like the moving picture tonight? - It was grand. - Kind of sappy, if you ask me. Sure. Too much love stuff. Is not for me. I like the racketeer pictures, boy. You know, shoot them up. Is more excitement as love. Why, Nick, where's the romance in your soul? Where is the what, please? Romance. You know, two people falling in love and sitting in the moonlight gazing into each other's eyes. Well, I like this too but I like better to do it myself, personal than to see some guy in the movies do it. Huh, kid? I don't care what they say. I think that love story was beautiful tonight. It's a lot of bunk. No real man would ever propose like that. - Oh, they don't. - You don't have to look at a girl and tell her eyes are like the twinkling stars. - Oh, you don't? - No. Well, how would you say it? I don't know. I'd call her up and ask her to a dance. Or a movie? Yeah, or a movie and we'd go and get something to eat. Or drink? No, not any girl I'd propose to. Oh, I see. Well, go on. Well, then when the time came, I guess I'd hold her hand. You mean like this? Yeah. Then what would you say? I'd say: "Betty, I'm crazy about you. Will you marry me?" Well, let me think. Yes, Ed, I guess I will. - Well, then we're engaged. - I think that's what they call it. Oh. - It's swell, isn't it? - Yeah. Hey, what will your mother say? She'll probably say, "Thank, heavens. " - Come on. Let's get out of here. - Okay. How you like the sodas? - Okay, Nick, take it out of there. Sure. - Hello, Ed. How are you? Why haven't you called me up? Why... Uh... Our phone's out of order. - Well, you could have come to see me. - No. No, I couldn't. You see, the girl I'm engaged to wouldn't like it. So long. Say, was he trying to insult me? Oh, no worry about that. It's nothing. You know the old saying: "Is just as many good fish in the ocean as there ever was. " Fish in the ocean. There she is, boy. Give her the gun. Yeah, what's the hurry? Well, they told us to step on it. You know what Joe says. They got enough orders to paper this shop. Oh. Dombrowski said. Hey, what's the matter with you? - That's the fourth drill you've burnt up. - Well, what's it to you? Dombrowski's trying to sweat a record out of us. Listen, Frank, get down to work and quit knocking Joe. Let her down. What's the matter? Well, we're having a little trouble with these drills here. - No more spares? - No, they're all shot too. Well, turn them in and get some new ones. Frank, these drills cost money. - We gotta be more careful. - Yeah? You asked us to speed it up. You better get some drills that will stand this gaff. They'll stand up if they're used right. Maybe you can use them better. Yeah, and so can you. - Did you check your setting? - Yeah, it's all right. That's tool steel. You're giving her too much feed. Come on, boy, you're too good a guy for boners like that. - I see that greaseball's been picking on you. - Yeah. How's it feel being pushed around by a honyock? I don't like it. I ain't gonna stand for it. No? What are you gonna do, take a poke at him and lose your job? I'll take a poke at him and I'll get another job too. That don't worry me none. You were a long time getting this one. Weren't you, Frank? Yeah. All right, then. Why don't you get wise to yourself? You don't have to be pushed by no foreigners. There are a lot of guys in this town. Americans who feel like you and me. They've been giving this a lot of thought. They can show you how to protect yourself. Would you like to meet them? Sure. But, Mr. Osgood, the stay-on lasts so much longer. Heh-heh. Yeah, so I've heard. - Anything else? - No. That'll be 50 cents. Fifty cents? For Ajax Shaving Cream? I can buy it for 37 down the street at Molyneux's Cut Rate. Well, you better trade there then. We don't cut nobody's prices or throats. Molyneux's Cut Rate store. If you haven't got the stay-on kind, Mr. Osgood, I'll take this. Milady Beautiful. Anything else, Mrs. Danvers? Oh, a package of henna. The good kind. How do you do, Mr. Taylor? - Hello. - Seen our friend, Eddie, these days? Yeah. You ain't gonna let him marry, are you? And why not? It's still a free country, ain't it? - That will be a dollar 39. - Oh. Oh. I think I've spent all my money, Mr. Osgood. - Will you charge it, please? - Well... I guess so, Mrs. Danvers. Gee, you're sweet. Goodbye, Mr. Taylor. Yes, sir, what'll it be? Give me that third bottle from the end on the second shelf. Little late, ain't you? Yeah, a little. I had some trouble getting away from home. Sure, I know. Cliff been around? Cliff who? Cliff Summers. He's around. - Tend the store, will you? - All right, Dad. In mighty multitudes, they have swarmed to our shores to take refuge under the protection of the greatest government on Earth. And how have they rewarded the fine, generous, liberty-loving people who opened to them their hearts, their homes and their horizons of opportunity? I will tell you how. With the basest ingratitude and the vilest of treachery. Spurning American ideals and the sacred principles for which our forefathers fought they have clung tenaciously to their alien doctrines, foreign faiths and un-American morals. Like poisonous vipers, they have patiently bided their time while they've fed on the bosom of our country. Now enriched with the jobs they have chiseled away from Americans and drunk with the power of their stolen prosperity they are plotting to seize control of our government overthrow our glorious republic and subjugate the American people to their own dastardly designs. Standing alone, you and I are helpless to defend ourselves against this deadly peril. Helpless to protect our homes and families from the menace that threatens. But if we unite with millions of other red-blooded Americans under the banner of the Black Legion, we are invincible. With fire and sword, we will purge the land of these traitorous aliens and throttle their every deadly scheme till once more, our beloved stars and stripes will wave over a united nation of free, white, 100 percent Americans. Will the candidates for membership step forward and get their application blanks? - Go. - Ain't you joining? I joined last month. - Hey, I wanna ask a question. - Yeah? If we joined up, don't we get a uniform or something? Man, the Black Legion's got the doggonest uniform you ever laid eyes on. One that will throw fear into the hearts of all them rotten, ungrateful foreigners. One bar ain't enough. It goes to prove it. The man was hungry and there should be two bars a day because-- He eats as much as we all do. Say, are you gonna let him bust in on me like that? What do you mean, talking to the judge like that, you mug? I'm sorry, Your Honor, but let me explain something. There should be two bars a day. One in the morning and one in the afternoon. Do I have to put up with that little slug interrupting all the time? You two guys better get along together. I'll kick you both out of court. Okay, the state rests. What do you do? Oh, we rest too. Then the jury will retire and consider a verdict. - Hey, Butch. - Yes, sir? Come here. - When did you see Jim last? - Oh, about an hour ago in the dormitory. Yeah. I'll look him up and have a talk with him. Didn't I tell you everything would be all right? Slug. Suppose Thompson walks in. If he walks in his sleep, he'll walk in. He's upstairs snoring his head off. What did you turn that light on for? Listen, are you on the level with me? Oh, that's okay. What's the matter? Are you getting yellow? No. Just careful, see? Hello, kids. Don't you think you need some dough? It's pretty late to get a hitch around here. I think you better take some. Here you are. Go on, take it. No, we don't need your dough. We'll get along okay. Yeah, sure you will. Well, so long, kids. Good luck. There, see? He don't care. Come on. Gee, he's nuts, ain't he? Come on. - Have you seen Jimmy? - Yeah. Everything's all right. What's the matter, Patsy? Just playing a long shot. - Order in the court. - Everybody rise. One minute with this court. Mr. Gargan, this has gone far enough. Your system has blown up. Two of your boys ran away tonight and had the gall to change their clothes in my office. Look here. Is that so? Well, sit down a minute, will you? - Go ahead. Sit down. - I'm gonna notify the board at once. Don't do that. You're holding up the court. Sit down. - You realize responsibility rests with you? - That's all right. Sit down for a minute. Go ahead, and you too. - Have you reached a verdict? - Yeah. Well, what is it? He's guilty. The court says you don't get no candy bars for two weeks. Okay. Sit down, will you, kid? Listen, fellas. I wanna tell you-- Hey. Hey. Fellas I wanna tell you, because I think you ought to know that you've done a swell job here tonight. You've got everything down pat. And I'm proud of you. All right. And that's that. Court dismissed. Well, I told you. Keep your mouth shut or you'll be sorry. Jim, come here. Come here and let a guy talk to you, will you? What brought you back? What's the difference? We're back, ain't we? Charlie, I think you'd better go up and get fixed up. Go ahead, kid. Sit down, Jim. Sit down. I'm not going to ask you why you beat it. I can guess that easy. Well, we'll let that go. I wanna ask, I want you to tell me the truth. What's the matter? Don't you like the way we treat you? Don't you like us? What is it? Let's have it. Give us a break. There must be something you like to do. Patsy wants to help you do it. You're the mayor of this place. You don't act like it. Well, I didn't ask for the job. Listen, kid. I'm gonna tell you something and it's just between us. You're the one who makes me feel I've made a flop out of this. I'm telling you, the only one. Say, Jim, that's not bad. That's good work. - Have you always been able to draw? - Yeah, a little. Come on. Let me see you draw me. Come on. Let me see if you can get my puss on paper. Go. Come on. A professional tried to draw me once. He couldn't get me. Couldn't touch me. Well, you shouldn't be hard to do. Well, come on. Let me see you do it. How do you want me, full face or sideways? Look over there. You're a cinch. You know, the more I see it, the better I like it. The pan or the picture? Oh, why, the picture, of course. Hm. I'm crazy about you, baby. You know that, don't you? - Are you, Patsy? - Mm-hm. Gets worse all the time. It's got me worried. - Why? - Oh, the setup is all wrong. I'm bound to wind up behind the eight ball with you. What do you mean? Well, by your standards, I'm a wrong guy. - You're the sweetest guy in the world. - No, you don't know what I mean. - You don't know my racket. - I don't care about your racket. You sure? Not now, I don't. Hello? Mike. That guy gets in your hair. - Hello, what do you want? - I'll tell you. - You better get down here fast tonight. - For what? This Joe is on the loose. They're stringing with him. I'm telling you straight, the guy threw me out. You're frozen out. Tell him to get here. Tell him what he tried to do. Louis is burned too. He said Joe tried to hold him up today for cash. Oh, yeah? Well, listen, you tell Louis I'm getting right down there. - Yeah, right away. - Yeah, okay. - What's wrong, Patsy? - Oh, no, nothing. Nothing at all. I'll fix that guy's wagon. I gotta go to town, but I'll be back tomorrow. - But, Patsy-- - I gotta go change my clothes. I'll see you in a few minutes. - Funny, right over-- - It would've been nice-- - It's just a hair-- - See a beautiful life in this-- - Hey, boss. - What is it? Been doing all right for yourselves, haven't you? And Joe's been doing himself plenty of good. - Well, what do you say? - We thought you was through. What gave you that idea? - You're a reformer now, ain't you? - Who's running this racket? You was. Who is now? - Me. - Oh, yeah? You think I built this racket up for seven years to let you guys walk away with it? I'm telling you all something. You're through. And as for you.... - Wait a minute. - Dirty son of a-- Keep those gats in your pockets. - Come on, let's get out of here. - Yeah, go ahead. Take care of that rat. I'm telling you, Joe pulled a gun on Patsy. A guy like him, self-defense? Not a chance. - If you killed him, you're out of luck. - But I didn't kill him. You're okay. Better dive in somewhere till you find out for sure. You gotta get out of the state. Mike, find a hideout. Quick. For what? You've got that much head start. Keep in touch with the hospital. When he goes, you start going. Laying down on me? You gonna cover me? Not if he passes out. He's living, I can cover you. Newspapers won't print a word. They won't look for you. If he goes- - Patsy, I don't have to kid you. --you're all washed up, you're through. Listen, get across the state line. Get in touch with Nasetti. He'll help you find a safe place. Go ahead. Okay. Take your hats off. - What's the matter? - I don't know. Doesn't seem like Sunday without Patsy around. Yeah, I know. He's in the city on important business. - He'll be back soon. - Uh-huh. That's what you think. Everybody says he quit us for something better. - That's a lie. - What did he hang it on a limb for? He didn't run out on us. I'll beat up any guy that says he did. Well, I was only telling you what everybody's saying. What's the matter? Don't you like it? Stinks. What's the difference, if it's a nice room? Besides, you're only gonna be here a little while. - Get down to that hospital. Go ahead. - I'll keep calling you. Get that mug anything. I don't want him to die on me. What's the matter? Just when I get everything set up at school. I have to knock off that gorilla. Don't tell me you're worrying about that joint? Yeah. Go on. Get down to the hospital. - Go ahead. Beat it. Go ahead. - Okay, okay. Who is it? It's Gargan. Long distance. - Huh? - Gargan. - At this hour? - Yeah. Hello, Mr. Gargan. Oh, listen, Thompson, I'm gonna be out of the state for a week or 10 days. Oh, well, I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. Gargan. We'll miss you. Yeah. I can imagine. But listen, I gotta make a business trip. When I come back, I'm gonna have a conference with the governor. - You get me? - Sure, I understand, Mr. Gargan. I don't know how long it's gonna take me but meanwhile, I want you to get this straight. I want everything run just exactly as I left it. No changes. If there's any argument, whatever Miss Griffith decides, goes. You understand? - Is she around there now? - No. I think she's in her cottage, Mr. Gargan, I could get her for you if-- No, no, that's all right. Never mind. Just tell her I called. Yeah, so long. And remember, no changes. All right, Mr. Gargan. Yeah, I understand. What's up? I don't know. Sounds kind of phony to me. Hello, is that you, Sam? Thompson. Say, uh, Sam, I just had a long-distance from Gargan. Yeah, he sounded kind of funny. Is there anything wrong? Is there anything wrong? Oh, not very much. Only Gargan put a bullet into one of his monkeys. What? Sure. And from the dope I get, he's hiding out. And they're trying to keep it quiet. But if the guy dies, you'll never see that deputy again. Out of the state on business. A conference with the governor. Giving me orders. Why, that dirty, little crook. When I go to the penitentiary, I'll throw peanuts at him. - What did he do? - Nothing. He just put a bullet in somebody, that's all. And he has the gall to-- Let me look at those accounts for the last two months. We're going to make up for lost time. You ain't on the level about me going back to that hospital again. - Yeah, get back there. - But I've been there 40 times. Forty more. After two weeks, they don't know if the guy will live or not. Well, it ain't my fault, is it? If you're worrying about that dame, I'll call her up. No cracks. I don't want her to know anything about this or me. Yeah, I see. - Get back to that hospital and find out-- - Jeez, I've been sleeping in the halls. Get out of here. Get back to that hospital. Stay with him. Get in bed with him. - Back. Move it on those two sides. - Stay in line. Move it faster. Come on. Come on, get in here. Come on. Come on, boys, hurry up. - Mr. Thompson, look at that. - Well, what's the matter with it? - Can you eat it? Those boys can't. - Well, they don't have to. It's worse now than it ever was. Miss Griffith, kindly understand that I want no more interference in things that don't concern you. This does concern me. We started something. It was successful. Every day, bit by bit, you're tearing it down. - That will do. - No, it won't. Who do you think you are? - You can't treat those boys like animals. - I'll treat them any way I like. - And if you don't like it, you can leave. - I will. But I warn you if I can get to the authorities, you haven't heard the end. Miss Griffith, I demand your resignation immediately. And you can have it. - I've been waiting for that. - Yeah. Come in. - Hello, Miss Griffith. - Hello, Jimmy. - Going somewhere? - Yes. Where you going? I'm leaving. You're kidding. No, I'm not. First Patsy and then you. I'm not quitting you, Jimmy. I've been fired. Thompson fired me. What? Jimmy. Quite a delegation of our boys to see you, chief. A delegation? - What do they want? - I don't know, sir. - How did they--? - They got a hold of Walters. He seemed a little scared and he told them they could see you. - Send them in. - Yes, sir. All right, boys, come on. Hats off. Well, what do you want? Why aren't you at your work? Well, Mr. Thompson, sir, we wanted to ask you. Please don't fire Miss Griffith. Get back to your work. - But, Mr. Thompson, please-- - Get back to your work, I said. This is no Boy Scout camp. Those days are over. This is a reformatory. Now get back where you belong. You can't do that. Oh. Can't I? Now the rest of you boys, get out of here. You stay. I'll show you what I can do. - Watch that door. - Okay. It don't work, huh? Shh. Not so much noise, you guys. Are you crazy? We got enough food here to feed all the kids in the dormitory. Shh! Here comes somebody. - It's Charlie. - Get away from that door. Oh! Hey! Ow! Psst. Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy. - Thanks, Butch. - That's okay. - How's everything? - Not so good. It's plenty cold. The wind blows through that roof a mile a minute. - Gee, that's tough. - I'm okay. Go on. Beat it. - So long. - So long, Butch. Who was the gang? Well, I know Johnny Stone was one of them. How do you know? - Because I heard him cough. - Get him. - Who else? - Well, that's the only one I heard. All right, Charlie, go ahead. We'll find out the rest from Johnny Stone. Come on. Come on. Answer me. Who were those other boys? Now, I'm asking you for the last time. Who were they? Now, you're not going to eat until you talk, so you may as well talk now. Now listen, Johnny, here. Listen to me. Now, you tell me who those other fellows were and I'll let you go, see? Come on, who were they, huh? Who were they? - Lock him up. - Mighty cold for this kid in there. Well, maybe it'll freeze him into talking. Okay. Come on. I'm gonna find out who those other kids were if it's the last thing I do. All right, kid. Come on. Get out of there. You got enough. Go get your chart and report to work detail. - I'll try and get you some grub later on. - Thank you. Wrap this around you. I know you don't squeal. Skinny didn't squeal. Skinny didn't squeal. Skinny didn't squeal. Skinny didn't squeal. Skinny didn't squeal. Skinny didn't squeal. Skinny didn't squeal. Skinny didn't squeal. Here you are, kid. Kid. Kid. - Kid. - Mm? Why, what--? Kid. - Skinny. - It's Skinny. This is gonna take guys. Just get him. Skinny. - Let's get Skinny. - Let's go, come on. Sir.... - Oh, Skinny. - Get back. - All right, come on. - Hey, get back. - Quick, get something. - If you boys-- Where's this boy's bed? Skinny. Right here, sir. Turn down that blanket, Walter. Get some alcohol, rub him down. - What happened? - They carried Skinny out. - Where is he now? - In the dorm. - Get the rest of the gang. - Okay. You boys stay here with him. I'll be back in a minute. Skinny. Skinny. Skinny. Come on, Skinny. Wake up. Skinny. Skinny. Skinny, it's Jimmy. I'm scared. Come on, Skinny, everything's gonna be all right. I'm scared. Ma. Ma. Pa. Skinny. Skinny. All right, call up Dr. Loring at Peakstown. Mr. Thompson. Johnny-- Johnny's dead. What? - Where is he? - He's in his bed. He killed him. Look what he's done. He killed him. Well, what are we waiting for? - Come on. Let's get him. - Come on, gang. - Out this way. - Come on. - Come on, gang. - Wait-- Come on, come on, out this way. - Yeah? - Message from Mr. Thompson. You killed him, huh? Get the essentials out of there. Come on, get those guys out of here. Get them out of here. Now, I'm going to Peakstown to get Dr. Loring to sign the death certificate. You phone him and tell him I'll be there in 15 minutes. Hello. Hello. Hello-- The line is dead. Hello. All right, use the one in your office. Every man in this room is under arrest. Stand where you are. You, come on. Start walking. Come on. Get going. Come on. - Who's there? - Mike. - Patsy. - Oh, sweet. I had to bring her. I made him bring me, darling. I had to see you. I just had to. Now, I know all about everything. You know if you're found, you'll be in a terrible jam. - I don't care. - Oh, sweet.... - What are you doing away from the school? - I'm out. Thompson fired me. - He what? - That's nothing. That's part of it. You should know all he's done. - Tell me. - We had a terrible row over the food. That's why he fired me. The boys can't eat it. It's worse now than ever. They won't stand for anything more. All they need is a spark and they're capable of anything. Defendant, you're charged with the murder of Johnny Stone. He knew Johnny was sick and he put him in the cooler. And you knew it too, didn't you? You dirty, squealing rat. Yeah. And you, Thompson, you killed Skinny. No, no. No, I didn't, boys. I didn't. I didn't know he was so sick. I never would have done it. - I ain't gonna let you throw yourself-- - Mind your business. - They can put the finger on you. - Quit waiting there, will you? Keep in touch. Let me know what the doctor says. - Get our doctor if you have to. Come on. - Wait a minute. Listen, Patsy, I'm asking you, don't go up there, will you? - All right. - Wouldn't that mean--? Now, boys. Now, wait. Now wait. Now let's be sensible. Now, let's start all over again. I'll change everything back to what it was before. - I swear I will. I'll change and-- - You're a liar. We, the jury, find you guilty of murder in the first degree. Where did--? Where--? - Let's go. Get him. - Hurry up. Hurry up and get him. Let's hurry up and get him. Come on, boys, let's go. Come on. Hurry, Patsy. He's dead. Hey, come on. Hey, come on. Get that out of here. Come on. - Jim, Butch, Mac, where you going? - Get out of here. - Get out or we'll give it to you too. - What are you trying to do? Go to the pen? You can't get away with this. Go back there and put out that fire. - We're gonna finish the job. - You're playing into Thompson's hands. - He'll hang you for this. - Thompson's dead. Thompson's dead? - Yeah, we took care of him. - Listen, kids, you gotta stop where you are. Whatever you do will be another rap to beat. I wouldn't give you a bum steer. I'm in as bad a fix as you are. - You think I ran out on you? I didn't. - Sure, you ran out. You ran. Go on. I didn't. I meant to come back the day after I left. I got into a fight and shot a rat. I think I killed him. I'm on the lam now. If they get me, it may mean the chair. - What do you get for--? - Boys, boys. Boys, stop. It's the truth. I swear Patsy's telling you the truth. I'm willing to take my chances, see this thing through. We're in the same boat. I'm not leaving here until they come and take me. If there's quitting to be done, you're gonna do it. Don't be chumps. Don't let them pin anymore on you. We've got a rap to beat. The way to start beating it is by putting out that fire. Now, what do you say? Do we do it? Jim, Butch, Mac, do we do it? Casey, what do you say? - Okay, come on. - Come on. Come on-- - So that's it, eh, Charlie? - Yes, sir. All right, boys, you can go. There's no doubt that this tragedy was Thompson's own fault. - You agree, coroner? - The sheriff and I both agree. Mr. Gargan, I owe you a sincere apology. Oh, forget it. Hey, wait a minute. They can't do nothing to him. The guy's gonna be okay. Besides, he pulled a gun on Patsy. - Shut up. - Who is this man? Just a guy that works here. Little bit screwy. Go on, stand over there, will you? He gets excited. Well, we'll be going, judge. We'll make our report to the state board. - Goodbye, judge. - Goodbye. I want you to do me a favor, Mr. Gargan. I want you to stay here. For a time, anyway. And run this place. Don't worry. I'll be here. - Goodbye, Miss Griffith. - Goodbye, Judge Gilbert. - Goodbye. - Goodbye. - And good luck. - Thanks very much. - So Joe's all right? - I'm afraid he's gonna live. You can go back, tell him the racket is his. - What? - The racket and the whole 5000 votes. - After you nearly killing the guy? - Go on. Beat it. - Are you staying here? - Yep. - So am I. - No, you can't. I'm staying. All right, on one condition. That you play uncle. - Yeah? - Yeah. So long. - Uncle Mike. - Uncle Mike. - So long, Uncle Mike. - So long, Uncle Mike. - Happy? - You know I am. How happy? Well, you can't get much happier than that. Come on. In the town of Hamelin Many years ago The citizens were crying out A tearful tale of woe "Rats, rats, rats! They chase the dogs And kill the cats Rats, rats, rats! They build their nest In our Sunday hats" The citizens of Hamelin Were frantic with despair They gnashed their teeth And stamped their feet And shouted to the mayor "Rats, rats, rats!" The people cried "We've gotta get rid of the rats Gotta get rid of the rats In Hamelin town" Rats! Rats! Rats! Rats! We gotta get rid of the rats Rats! Rats! We gotta get rid of the rats Rats! Rats! We gotta get rid of the rats Rats! Rats! We gotta get rid of the rats Rats! Rats! We gotta get rid of the rats Rats! Rats! We gotta get rid of the rats Rats! Rats! Rats! Rats! Rats! Rats! As mayor of this city I declare that it's a pity Our community is overrun with rats As mayor of this city He declares it is a pity Our community is overrun with rats Rats! We gotta get rid of the rats - Rats! - I'll give this bag of gold This bag of shining gold To anyone who'll rid us of the rats Rats! Who'll rid us of the rats? Who'll rid us of the rats? Who'll rid us of the rats? - Rats! - Stop! I'll rid your town of rats I'll take the bag of gold You rid the town of rats You'll get this bag of gold I've done my work as I was told Now I'll take my bag of gold A bag of gold? You crazy loon! Why, all you did was pipe a tune All you did was pipe a tune All you did was pipe a tune All you did was pipe a tune All you did was pipe a tune You're dishonest and ungrateful. And it really is a shame that the children of this city should grow up to be the same! I'll save the children from such a fate. I'll pipe them away before it's too late. You're only bluffing. Do your worst. Blow your pipe until you burst Blow your pipe until you burst Blow your pipe until you burst Joyland! Joyland! Happy-girl-and-boy land Laughing and playing From year to year Trouble and care Never enter here Singing! Dancing! Under sunny skies Happy forever and ever In childhood paradise! [PLAYING REVEILLE] - Count off. USHERS: One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. At ease. Now, men, Mr. Jeffries has something important to say to you. Boys, I've been managing picture theaters for a long time. This is the neatest and best-drilled company of ushers I've ever seen. But some are not measuring up to the necessary standards of discipline that I insist upon. I won't mention any names. This is merely a friendly warning that any usher caught chewing gum during the performance of duty will be dismissed. I also have a report that a certain usher is making a habit of using the men's lavatory on the mezzanine floor for dice and crap games. This must stop. I think I've made myself clear. That's all. Keep an eye on them, Seymour. Company, attention. Fall out for five minutes. Oh, Quigley. Come here. I've already warned you a couple of times this week. Look at yourself. Well, what's your excuse this time? Walking around on my knees to give my arches a rest. Let me see your hands. Ever try using soap and water? Let me see the other one. I thought so. You heard what Mr. Jeffries said. That's your last warning. If you're late again you'll be dismissed. [IMITATES ELEPHANT] Feature goes on in 15 minutes. Seats in the balcony only. Stairway to the right, please. "Coming: Edward G. Robinson in Dark Hazard. " - We've gotta get a load of that guy. - Yeah, he's not bad. You got a Mickey Mouse on the bill today? No, not today. What, no Mickey Mouse? - No, no Mickey Mouse. - Why? He's making a personal appearance in Jersey City. Oh, you're trying to kid somebody, huh? - Ha-ha-ha. - Come on, Slug, let's get our dough back. I'm sorry, but you can't take the dog inside. - Fido wouldn't make a bit of trouble. - Sorry, but it's against the rules. I'll have you understand I'm not a madam. Well, I wouldn't know about that. I'm sorry. - Take your hands off me. - What's the trouble here? - The lady has a dog. - You needn't have been so rude about it. Poor Fido, did he hurt-um? - May I take your dog? - No. I'll give him back to you after the performance. You're sure you'll take good care of him? - Certainly. - Thanks. That's the second complaint I've had in five minutes. - I must be slowing up. - I think we can get along without you. - Aw, you hurt me. - Turn in your uniform. Listen, Fido, this guy's got a wooden leg. Try it sometime. I dub you lieutenant. [CHATTERING] Uh-huh. Did it again. That's four pairs in a row. If this keeps up, I'm gonna buy you a fur coat. - What kind do you want? - Mink. You'll take rabbit and like it. And that's no... Am I aggrieved. Well, better luck next time. Mm. What lovely weather we're having. Excuse me, I've gotta see a patient. - Taxi? - Uh... No, no, uh... That dame just dropped this purse. - Well, I'll see that she gets it. - Uh-uh, uh-uh. Ha-ha. No, I think she'd like me to have it. [BUZZES] What is it? Yeah, you're the doll. You dropped this in the Randolph Hotel. - I tried to catch you, but you were too fast. - Oh, thank you. I didn't miss it until I got home. I wondered where I lost it. Won't you, uh, come in a minute? [CHUCKLES] Who could say no? Oh, it's all there. All I wanted was the card. I didn't mean it that way. I was looking for a reward for you, but I'm afraid I haven't got enough. Who said anything about dough? Well, uh, at least sit down and have a drink. Why not make it two? One for you. - Well, I'll have a little one. - Good. Heh. How much? Oh, about two ounces. One for each kidney. [LAUGHING] Here. Oh, uh, chaser? - Always have been. - Oh... [BOTH LAUGHING] I walked in. What are you doing? This guy's a murderer. A murderer! Do you understand that? Well, I think about my wife tracy every day, And then I see his face. I wanted something to put him away. All right. I'll tell you what, if you're right, I'll help you. But you better be right. Woman Oh, my god. What are you doing to her? You shouldn't be here. You're sick! I'm calling the police! Oh, my god. What are you doing to her? You shouldn't be here. You're sick! I'm calling the police! Woman's voice belongs to our murder victim, leslie stoltz, And we think the male voice belongs to coop daly, Enright's security. I'm still working a timbre comparison, But I'm fairly certain it's a lock. Well, it's compelling evidence. Puts daly in the room. Unfortunately, you can't use it in a court of law. Can we float it to potential jurors? The takeaway will be, cardoza's still a dirty cop. Wait a minute, what? Murder case in l.A. , evidence didn't fit his theory, He made it disappear. Rebecca, accusations Were made- nothing was ever proven. Okay, but the cloud around it drove him here to miami, And so here we are again with cardoza's dirty evidence. My advice, horatio: Fire him. Out of the question. Suit yourself. But not only will I reject this evidence, I will reject all evidence That cardoza has anything to do with. He is compromising your lab. Well, then I have no choice but to clear his name. Thank you, walter. Sure thing, h. Horatio. Yes, ms. Nevins? Why go to all this trouble For just one csi? Because he is a member of my team. Oh, cop loyalty. Right. Okay, you get me new information on cardoza, I'll reconsider-- but one of my people goes with you. Based on my approval. Eric. H, hey. Oh, rebecca. So the s.A. Put me on the schedule to work The leslie stoltz murder. Fine. First assignment: Shadow lieutenant caine. Thank you, ms. Nevins. Mm-hmm. What's going on? We're going to l.A. L.A., huh? Lieutenant caine, welcome to l.A. Captain sutter, eric delko. So what brings you gentlemen to my town, Besides the weather, the women and the lakers? Jesse cardoza. How is cardoza? We're here about the enright case, captain. Bel air mansion. Tony enright sliced up his wife. Cardoza was the primary. And he had him nailed, till trial. How do you go from top cop to zero? That's all on the record. I need to see that file, captain. Gentlemen, that ship sailed. Double jeopardy's a bitch. Not for cardoza. Well, that doesn't sound like my business. It is now. All right, gentlemen, follow me. All this evidence says one thing: Enright murdered his wife brutally. The guy's a known wife abuser. Jesse found blood from the dead wife On enright's clothes and in his car. And then he walks. Yeah. Right in front of all the cameras. Real black mark for the department. Ah. You know what? Here. Here's the thing that brought jesse down. Homicide found a key piece of evidence At the murder scene. A cuff link was thought to belong to another suspect, Not enright. Cardoza photographed it... But it never showed up in the evidence locker. Why not? Paper says it went missing. Initials "a.T." Jury tv had gavel-to-gavel coverage of the whole trial. Uh... Yeah. This is from the day enright's lawyer grilled jesse. Attorney Ah, detective cardoza... Now, you took the photograph Of this bloody cuff link at the murder scene, correct? Yes, I did. Ah. And would you please read out for the court, Uh, the initials that are engraved on that cuff link? "a.T." Well, those don't appear to be The initials of my client, tony enright, now, do they? Was that a yes or a no? No. No. Thank you. Um, there-there appears to be Blood on this cuff link. Now, will you tell us, please, is that the victim's blood Or the perpetrator? I don't know. I'm so sorry, I'm... Going a little deaf in this ear. Could you, uh, repeat that a bit louder? I don't know. You don't know? He doesn't know. Well! But surely, This is very important evidence. I mean, mrs. Enright could have ripped it from the sleeve Of her perpetrator, right? All right, tell me, where is it? Where is this bloody cuff link that you photographed so ably At the crime scene? We've been unable to locate it. It disappeared... Just poof, hmm? I mean, evidence that could prove That someone other than my client Murdered victoria enright. Yes. So you wouldn't mind if they searched your house For that cuff link, would you? You're not gonna find it there. Why? Did you hide it somewhere else? That's not what I meant. No. What you meant... Was to be judge and jury, Hiding evidence that would vindicate my client. And you know what? You very nearly succeeded. Thank you. So... Who owns the cuff link... And where did it go, eric? We figure that out, we clear jesse, right? Or we sink him. Okay. Our forensic nurse found evidence Of forcible sexual intercourse. But there was no evidence of male contribution. What does that mean? It means that your attacker wore a condom. None of this makes sense. I know. This may be a little strange question to ask, But, um... Do you think that tony could've had anything to do with it? How can you even ask me that? Look, tony gets accused of things, But... People don't know him like I do. I'm just asking because I was married to someone like him once. And, um, I know what that can do to your self-image. It's not like that with tony and me. And I used to defend him, as well. And I paid a pretty heavy price. If, um... I mean, if you ever feel like you want to talk to someone, Here's my card. Okay, guys. We're now in a cisco webex meeting. Are we ready? Dave, is this line secure? Absolutely secure, h. The system guarantees it. Horatio, I'm sure I don't have to tell you, But I never touched that cuff link. I saw it and I popped off two-by-fives. Okay, I understand that, jesse. Now, can we run the cuff link through the database, gentlemen? Our cuff link has a unique appearance, So we should be able to run it Through image recognition software. I did a similar search Two and a half years ago, nothing came up. No, no, no. This is different, this is new. It's like facial recognition software. Compares shapes and features, then searches for Any comparable image anywhere on the web. Okay, did we get a match? We have a match. Westside platinum jewelers. I heard of that place. They must have taken their store online. Okay, eric and I are gonna check into that. Thank you, gentlemen. What can I do? Jesse, just lay low. H. Westside platinum. I got a batch of orders for the cuff links. All right, I'm gonna print out the company list, We'll go name by name. Wait a second. Right there. Darren vogel. That's enright's attorney. Yeah, vogel bought a pair of the cuff links A week before the murder. Think that's a coincidence? Not a chance, eric. Oh... Looks like we've got some babysitters. Have a nice day, gentlemen. well, what are you doing? What... What are you wearing? Get off the phone, please. bunny? Yeah. No, I'll buy it for you, I'll buy it. Excuse me. Uh, I think we've got a prospective client here. Yes, I-I've got to go. All right. Yeah, all right. I'll see you at 7:00. Yeah, love you. Now, you boys know that my billing rate is $2,000 an hour. But here's the good news: I take euros. We are not soliciting counsel. We're here about the tony enright case. Enright? Come on. That's old history, isn't it? He was acquitted. Until now. I'm in the acquittal business. Look, it's my life's mission to keep the wrongly accused From being incarcerated. Yeah, like, uh, like that little girl last year, right? Was accused of killing her brother. Yes! Thank you for bringing that up. One of my great trials. Hannah miller. Evidence against hannah was, uh, was overwhelming. Yes. Until they found a pair Of girl's glasses at the crime scene that didn't match. Now, obviously, that was left by the real killer. And the jury agreed with me. Yes. How convenient. Ah, well, you know, I'm good at finding holes in the prosecution's case. I mean, that is my gift. Your gift is planting evidence. Oh, wh-wh-wh-whoo. Careful. That's libelous. About the enright case. Fact remains that Those cuff links left a reasonable doubt, And you were the one that purchased 'em. We have proof right there. Oh, I see. This is proof. Is it? Well, this is fake. Huh. Oh. Oh, yeah, that's my credit card number there. Oh! Vexing, isn't it? Eh? The cuff link that I bought- very similar In design and style- winds up at a crime scene. Let's cut the bs. You planted it there to help your client beat a murder rap. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Is that your theory? That's not fact. There's no foundation there. Plant anything else, and I will personally drive you to chino. Yes, I believe you would. As a matter of fact, I've been contemplating retiring, anyway. That's your problem. You know, you can buy a sense of humor. We got to catch this guy, calleigh. We got to catch him. I just- - I know he did it. I think I may have found a way. Really? Well, I started thinking about it, And the print alone is not gonna sink coop daly. No, he's got, uh, that other explanation-- The, um, autograph defense. Exactly. So if the print won't do it, maybe what's inside The print will. Now you lost me. I'm gonna break down The chemical compound in coop's fingerprint. Within that, I think there may be something he can't refute. Dimethicone silicone- based lubricant, And cells consistent with lambskin. Lambskin? That's a condom. Exactly. Coop was wearing a condom. So was anna's rapist. This spectra has a unique chemical signature. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna run it against the spectra from anna's sex kit. ¶ ¶ So, um, what kind of condom do I use? What's my favorite? My brand of choice? I rarely use them. So it's kind of a, um, Personal question. Actually, it's evidence. Really? There were specific traces In anna kitson that we also found In the oil of your fingerprint. That print is the same as the one on the murder weapon. So, just to get this straight, you raped anna, You killed leslie stoltz, And we can tie you to both. You guys are pretty funny. I mean, you just crack me up. You really think you're gonna pin a murder rap on me... Based on a lambskin condom? I don't think anybody here Mentioned a lambskin condom, genius. That's knowledge only the killer would have. Ah. You know, mr. Enright told me That she'd be a willing participant. He told me that he was sick of the bitch. He gave her to me, as a bonus, Because we had a good year. You know, if she would've just relaxed and just... Stayed with the program, Everything would've been just fine. So that's when leslie tried to stop you. She came barging in. And everything kind of went, uh... Everything kind of went haywire. Oh, my god. What are you doing to her? You shouldn't be here. So you roofied anna Because she wouldn't cooperate. I didn't roofie anybody, pint-size. That was tony. Do you want her? You can have her. Ah, you're kidding, right? No, I'm not kidding, coop. It's been a really, really good year, okay? Now you, my friend, deserve a little bonus. Ladies, refreshers. You're under arrest, Mr. Daly. Get this animal out of here. See you later, baby. Well, it's about time. Do you mind telling me Why I have been here for over an hour, drinking this swill... With no access to a telephone? Well, I'll tell you what. You can borrow mine, mr. Enright. Use it to call your lawyer. Let him know we're booking you for pandering And possession of a controlled substance. And we've got a good shot at tying you in to leslie stoltz's murder. Oh, please. You people just don't get it, do you? You know, your good friend coop daly-- He sold you out. The actions you took led to leslie stoltz's death. That's felony murder. Well, I could just say one little magic word. What's that? Car... Do... Za. The judge is going to toss this case out right away, And you know it. You see, that's where you're wrong, mr. Enright. So, what are you saying? You going to do a better job than the world-famous lapd? If any of these crime scene photos would have shown Who took that cuff link, I think someone would have noticed by now. Somebody did notice. Eric, take a look at this. It's the same lady in every one of these photos. Yes. Watch this. Bang, bang, bang. That's her again. She's got... She's got a camera. Eric, she can help us. h, in a city as big as l.A., How are we going to find one girl? This is how. She's got a press pass. Olivia burch. Excuse me. Captain sutter. Enjoying your lunch, lieutenant? Yes, as a matter of fact we are. We're doing what we came to los angeles to do, captain. Then you know you're wasting your time. That's called clean police work. Are you suggesting I'm not clean? I guess we're about to find out, captain. Ooh, you getting what you need? Everything, uh, everything groovy? Got the grippers in place and all that? Yeah. So how...? I think it's that way. Okay, let me take... You don't know. Okay, I'll take it of you. Do the move. Great. Nice, billy, really nice. ¶ ¶ Ms. Burch. Ms. Burch. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is a closed set. I'm eric delko from miami state attorney's office. And this is lieutenant caine From miami-dade pd. Could we have a word, please? Take a break, billy. What can I do for you? The tony enright case. We have a photograph Of you at the crime scene from a few years ago. Oh, yeah. I was freelancing then. Thought I could sell a few shots to a news wire, maybe a tabloid. Did you? Two hours in the sun, three rolls of film-- Didn't sell a thing. Do you still have the photographs? Yeah, I have everything inside. Stuart, can you go grab my negatives for me? Copy that. Be right back, billy. What are you hoping to find? We're trying to clear a good man's name. ¶ ¶ These are, uh, these are all from the enright crime scene. Okay, let's scan those. All right. Let me invert the images. All right, there's jesse, there's the house, The front gate, more house. What else we got, eric? wait a minute. Eric, go back. Go back. What is he doing? Evidence marker number four, eric. Number four, that's the cuff link. That's the missing evidence. Right. Who is this? I don't know. It isn't cardoza. It's not jesse. Who is that? Let me clean up the flare on his face. Hitting the highlights. Clean up some of this mess. Captain sutter. Lieutenant caine. The beatles played on this stage. I know that. I was here. You come alone? Just like I said I would. Why here? I like my privacy. What's this all about, caine? Where'd you get this photo? You let jesse cardoza take the fall for something you did. What exactly do you want, caine? I want you to come clean. All right. We knew enright had murdered his wife. And we had him, too. Dead to rights. When I saw that cuff link, I knew that his slick lawyers would get him off, So I pocketed it. No harm, no foul. The right guy goes down. And that's the way it should be. But I had no idea Cardoza had already taken a photograph of it. So you allowed it to look like he tampered with evidence. I figured he was young. Get a couple weeks Desk duty, slap on the wrist. Yes, but it didn't turn out that way, did it? No. His wife was murdered- probably by enright. That's something I got to live with every day. Where's the cuff link? I keep it right here. Always. So I'll never forget. Slowly. Take it. What now? What now? I think you know what to do. In light of the new evidence that's been presented to us, I would like to extend A long overdue apology to jesse cardoza, On behalf of the city, this department And the district attorney's office. Mr. Cardoza, who is no longer a member of the lapd, Is a shining example of what this department And all its officers should strive for every day. Hey, sweetheart, sweetheart, hey, don't worry. I'm gonna be out of here by dinner. It's all gonna be fine. We can go to our special little place that we love To go to together. You remember that place? Remember that place? Do you remember that place, huh? ! Just go to hell! Huh? ! You little bitch! you're making a really bad mistake, sweetheart. Really, really bad mistake! My lawyer just flew in. Vogel will get me off. Oh, and there's super cop. God, you're so good, huh? You're really good. Come around and watch a movie sometime. Where was the missing cuff link found, That it couldn't be recovered two years ago? I'm unable to comment on that at this time. Suffice it to say that mr. Cardoza's name And reputation has been cleared. Well, that door's not going to open itself. Thank you. Lieutenant. You know, uh, Tony enright is never going to see The inside of a prison cell. Don't be too sure, mr. Vogel. Actually, I'm dead sure. I want you out of miami. Have you come to wish me bon voyage? By the way, if you're ever in the emirates, Don't bother to call. Don't worry, I'll get the door. Thank you. You would have done the same for me, jesse. Zeltzer, did you fix the lighting in scene 4? Okay, people, please concentrate. We're going to do a full run of the first act. I want to check the timing... Alex, please... Everyone in place, please. I know we're tired. Believe me, sometimes it's a big plus. Okay, no talking backstage. Music, please. Last night at 6 PM the deceased's wife was seen by the fireplace in the cook's arms Where, when and who murdered Colonel McHarry? Stop, cut. I said, stop. The timing of your entrance was wrong. Your cue is the orchestra, not the lighting. The lighting didn't start on time either, Zeltzer. But that's beside the point. We'll do the entrance from the beginning of the song. Music. Eli, are you ready? Ten to midnight A wet, cold night Waiting for my friend at the street corner My dear Dr. Watson is a partner and friend but, unfortunately, he's always late I saw you from onstage. I had to come get a kiss. Do you recognize me with the moustache, Goni? Alex, it looks so funny on your face. How's it going? - Wonderful, knock on wood. I hope the theater doesn't fold before the general rehearsal. Where the hell is Alex? And it's the first time I've ever sung. Daddy gave you two songs, and this song now too. She knows the play by heart. - She can stand in for me. Alex, where the hell are you? Sorry! He is always late! It's unprofessional! I'm leaving! Alex! Sherlock, my friend, where are we going and what happened? We are going to solve the murder case at the castle They're singing too slow. Where, when and who murdered Colonel McHarry? Daddy, they're singing too slow. Daddy, they're singing too slow. - Goni, not now! Alex, you should've done a full turn by now. But you're late, no wonder he is all mixed up. I don't understand what's going on. Are you asleep? Can I give you a hug? You know that I'm stressed. The play is opening in 3 days and so many things aren't ready. That's no excuse. You're right. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I didn't mean to bother you. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. So are we friends again, Gonki Galonki? Did Gonki Galonki enjoyed the rehearsal? Yes, yes, yes? No, no, no? They sing the song too slow. Slow? There are horses and a carriage, so they should sing it faster. I'll handle it. It's a big problem, Daddy. I promise I'll handle this big problem, Goni. Now can I have a good-night hug? Daddy. Get up. What's wrong? Your pills. Get up, do your exercises. What did we say? 10 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes in the evening. Well? Okay, okay. Any messages for me? Someone called in the evening, but I said you were performing. They didn't leave a message on your cell phone? I didn't check. It was a guy. Goni. You must have 5 minutes to sit with your father. How many performances do you have this month? Three, four. But I'm just an understudy. I'm sure you're a better pianist than the one you substitute for. How do you know? I know. Is it enough for the rent? I put all your pills in the plastic box. Goni. I'll manage. I told the cleaning lady to come twice a week too. Absolutely not. The way things were was fine. It won't be the same. What? Dust? I can dust. I have to get the money from the account that Grandpa left. We have to go to the bank. Okay. Besides that, I'll arrange some more money. I don't need you to arrange for me. I need you to sign as a guarantor on the contract. Did you notice that the bathroom light is flickering? Yeah. It's like a discotheque, it needs to be checked. I'll handle it. Good. Can I take this? Of course. You didn't forget anything? I have everything. You're sure? - I'm sure. No, no, I'll take the dishes later. Are you not feeling well? No, I'm fine. Do you feel sick? - It's nothing. Want me to get you some glycerin? No, I don't need any. The truck is full, we'll have to do another round. I'm coming. - Let's go. He's a private patient of Dr. Gertel. He started taking one more Fusid a month ago, he's had three attacks in the past year and he's allergic to penicillin. - Alright. There's a list of his medications in his pocket, so take a look at it. Okay. The name's Ben-Shmuel? - Yes, Yitzhak. He was here before, gave me those candies... Licorice. His pulse is down. - Okay, hurry up. What's going on? - Stay here. I'll come back later, Daddy. It's okay. I promise I'll come back. Hey. Are you moving in? It's a nice building, the neighbors downstairs are cool, so are the ones on the top floor. If you need anything, I live right here, just say the word. What's your name? Goni. - I'm Sharon. Okay, bye, Goni. - Bye. Life goes on, as the cliche goes. There's a murder every 3 days and a robbery every hour We'll arrive precisely on time Precisely, not approximately The horses can be harnessed, we are on our way There's still so much ahead, this is not goodbye Allow me, my good friend, to thank you Thank you, it's been a pleasure, dear Sherlock It's amazing what one coincidental encounter led to From two perplexed strangers to a popular duo The more the merrier, my friend, it's quite elementary Quite elementary Quite elementary Elementary Excellent, Excellent! We need to make a few changes in the first act, but that's all. The audience won't leave, I've never seen anything like it. Yitzhak, you're a king, the audience loved it. How was it? Good, I have a few comments. What's wrong? Goni, how did I sing? Slow. For a general rehearsal, it wasn't too bad. It was a great general rehearsal. - It was a helluva general rehearsal. Thank you for letting me be in the theater's biggest hit. Amazing. Amazing. - To Daddy, break a leg, from Mommy and Goni - I have a problem in the entrance to scene 3. It doesn't seem right. I'll set it right for you later. Aside from that, I have a very good feeling. Everyone does. It's just the beginning. Step by step. There's still lots of work. I don't understand why our artistic director is walking like a peacock after everything they wrote in the paper. What did they write? Sherlock, my friend, where are we going and what happened? She can stand in for me anytime. What article? It's been a month since I read the paper. 3 pages in in the newspaper about our nice little theater. What did it say? They're doing an investigative report about financial irregularities. We have to get rid of our artistic director. It's not that simple. Submit your candidacy, they'll back you. You submit your candidacy. Do me a favor, get serious. - Do me a favor, let me direct. I don't need that. The more the merrier, my friend, it's quite elementary Sergio Leone died yesterday. Is that so? What a shame. He was young. Who is it, Liyova? A friend of yours? No, Mama, he's a great director. An incredible director, eh, Yitzhak? A Fistful of Rings. - A Fistful of Dollars. Dollars, yes. 1966. Well done, Papa. Your father and your uncle and your grandfather are fools. Thank you, Leena. - You're welcome. Thank you, Grandma. Enjoy your food, my darling. Why are you hitting me, fatso? Liyova, take another meatball. I'd love another one, thank you. Daddy. What? They're waiting for you to finish. - What? They're waiting for you to finish. How long can one eat? What did you say? - Never mind. I take it he doesn't want any dessert. I'd love some dessert. The Rustaveli Theater is coming to do Richard III. Can you get tickets, Yitzhak? No chance. It's not some little operetta. Does he have to do it now? He'll just kick up dust. Yitzhak, why now? Why now? Ask your mother why now. It'll kick up dust. Tell her that if it kicks up dust, I'll clean up. Why does he always have to ruin Fridays for us? Yes, every Friday. Would you prefer another day? Wednesdays? Goni? Come take the stool, sweetie. What does he need the stool for? - Why are you taking the stool? I understood the Russian. The stool is mine, I brought it and I'm taking it. Goni, we're leaving. Aren't we waiting for Mommy? She'll come in a minute. Why are you taking the magazines? When you were a baby, we lived in a small apartment and there was no room for all my things, so I asked Grandma and Grandpa to keep them for me. Why are you taking them now? Because now there's room in our apartment. And we don't need any favors. It's okay, sweetie. Why did you have to do that? - Because I wanted to. You do it to spite my mother? Yes, I direct little operettas and do things to spite her. Don't start with that. I will start with that, I've had it. Do whatever you want, but not in front of the child. I have no problem with it being in front of the child. Hi. Where should I put it? - Anywhere. Thanks for bringing everything back. You're paying. - Yes, I'm paying. There's more. How do you feel? There are bills to be paid. Take a check from the drawer and pay at the bank. There's a checkbook with signed checks. Alright. Do it by tomorrow, otherwise there'll be a fine. Okay. And sell some of the short-term deposit at the bank. Tell Yaffa she promised me higher interest. I'll handle everything. Did you move all yourthings? How's the apartment? I brought everything back home. Why? Daddy... Come on... I brought yourthings from home and the play from your nightstand. Do you need anything else? I don't need anything. What'll you do with the contract? It's a waste if you pay and don't live there. I feel bad about all this. I ran out of licorice. Okay. I'll relieve you. Hello, Mr. Director. Once again, you took things to heart. I'm going, will you be alright? Of course. Goodbye, my child. I'll be back later. Those dancers don't have a contract? Sorry, I don't work like that. Daddy, are you coming to eat? - Hold on. Why do I have to deal with replacing them 3 weeks after the show opened? Okay, bye. Cups. We got a new announcer today. Slava Silkis. He was a very political broadcaster in Leningrad. I think they're afraid of taking the risk, so... You're not even listening. I'm listening. Slava Silkis, was a very political broadcaster. Now I want the lemon, please. Cut her some lemon. I'm doing the rice. Anyway, Slava Silkis said to tell you he saw the show. He hardly understands Hebrew, but enjoyed it immensely. Let them wait. Yes. But I said I was coming. Bye. So you spoke with Slava Silkis about the show. I'm not talking about that anymore. But you said he saw the show. - It doesn't matter now. Okay, it doesn't matter. Goni, the salad. You have to mix it well after you add the lemon. It's been mixed enough. No! - Goni. Ora. Daddy. Go crazy. And here's a tiny little schnitzel and I'll take a tiny little bite... No, don't eat mine! I'm late for rehearsal. Go on, go to your rehearsal and don't do us any favors. I know your assistant director can do the replacement. Sure, why not? Why don't we let Slava Chaplin do it? Silkis. Silkis. Hello. Are you Yitzhak Ben-Shmuel? - Yes. We have a search warrant. Yitzhak, what's going on? We have a search warrant. What are you searching for? Goni, go to your room. Why? Come in. Check the bookshelf. Take a look in the bedroom. Don't worry, Goni. They'll be leaving soon. Don't you think you're out of line? What do you think you'll find here? Tell them to stop, Yitzhak. You and your damn police have some nerve! Ora. There's nothing we can do. Let them finish. Don't worry, Goni. They'll be leaving soon. Mr. Ben-Shmuel, I'd like you to come down to the station with me. Now? - Yes, now. I don't want you to go. I'll just go for an hour. Finish the bookshelf, then go through the house. He'll stay here to finish. Sorry for the disturbance. Alex? The police came and took Yitzhak. I don't know. - Detention center- Will Daddy come home with us? I don't know, Goni. Is it because of the policemen who came to the house? - Yes. What did they find? - I don't know. Then why did they take him? Did he do something wrong? No, he didn't. Always remember that, Goni. When will Daddy come home? I don't know, Goni. He said he'd be back in an hour. They took him to ask questions. Are they allowed to? - Yes. Can we spend Saturday with him? No. But why? Are they doing this to spite him? Could be. Why? Maybe they don't want him to be strong. I'll tell him he has to be strong. I'll hide in there and they won't find me and I'll spend Saturday with him. No, we won't go in now. We brought him his things, we'll give it to the guard at the entrance. I want the guard to tell Daddy that I came to see him and to give him a kiss. I'll write him a note. You're the witch and I'm the prince, okay? The princess too. You're the princess too, okay. No, you're the prince and princess, I'm the witch and all the guards. Then the prince came. - Look, look. Hi, Alex. I can't get a hold of you. I left you messages at the theater and at home, you haven't called me back, so I'm trying again. Please call me back. It's Ora. Thank you. So, my child? I know what you're going through. It's as if we're losing the ground beneath us. Dear God. Do you need money? There, there. Dinner is ready, and stop with your secrets. You're not alone, so stop whispering. Mama knows you're hiding things from her. Leena, this isn't the right time. When is right time? The child is around and we can't say a word. Mama, why don't we talk later about the theatrical swamp? Sure, stick your head in the sand. What are you hinting at? I'm just saying that for the past months you come here and talk about everything aside from "the matter". - I already told you about "the matter". I told you when it was in the papers, I told about the police. I don't sleep at night and friends is a term that doesn't exist anymore! Is that "the matter" for you? I understand you're talking about me. We're talking about this whole family. A family with a big blemish, like cancer. Yitzhak is not a thief, do you understand? I read the papers, they're investigating, there will be a trial, it could end badly. And please don't smoke in the living room! He had no choice but to write out fake invoices. The theater wasn't paying him. He was supposed to get percentages on ticket sales. And it was a musical. A grand operetta. Who says they owe him a bonus? He took what was coming to him! Not honestly. Fictitiously. But we don't talk about that anymore. We keep quiet here. I don't keep quiet. I'll tell those who need to know. Not you. We're going home now. I want us all to have dinner together. I want the whole family... to stay together. Please. The sixth day. The heavens and earth were finished and all their array. On the seventh day God completed His work. God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it because on it He abstained from all His work. Blessed are You, our God, Who creates the fruit of the vine. Blessed are You, our God... Alex, why don't you answer my calls? Are you afraid? Are you avoiding me? The play is about to open. I didn't have time to call you back. Don't lie, I know you're avoiding me. I'm not. It's not only me, it's everyone in the theater. We talked, I consulted with them. And what conclusion did you come to? Publicly speaking, there's a problem here. Publicly? Do you want to hang him on top of everything? I can't put a stop to the drift against him. You are artistic director now. You're just throwing him to the dogs? I can't have him back until the trial is over. And we all feel like we've been betrayed. How did he betray you? By fabricating expenses? Didn't all of you fabricate expenses? Not in those amounts. So that's the problem? The only difference is that he got caught. I sit in that courthouse every day and I see how they're doing him wrong. Ora, I'm sorry. If you need money, I can arrange a loan. I want you to tell my daughter, I want Goni to hear. Why doesn't Daddy's friend come to visit her? And why he won't let her daddy direct when he knows the truth about all of this? Please tell her. I'm sorry. My darling. My love. Did you work on the adaptation? What adaptation, Mommy? It's a play I did for the theater and I'm adapting it for the school. For the prison you're going to. No, for the school where I'll be working after I get out. Plays in the theater are more fun. Schools are nice too. Then why not at my school? Maybe there too. Will you direct me? That could be very nice. I told the school they'd get a draft next week. So they can see it's suitable for kids. I'll get it ready. It's annoying that they have to check everything. Isn't your word good enough? Why isn't it good enough? That's the way it is. Why? I want to hear "There Were Nights". There were nights I remember them I will carry them till the end of my days On the way Between Deganiya and Kinneret Stood the loaded cart of my life He came up to me and said: Listen to me, little one I built a house for you In the evening you'll embroider a shirt for me By day I will drive your cart What's wrong? I had a dream about Zeltzer. Who's Zeltzer? Zeltzer, the lighting guy. He worked for years in the theater. I wonder if he still works there. I dreamt that Zeltzer turned the spotlight on my pants. And I insist that I want it only on my shoes. And he insists that the audience won't be able to see it. And I repeat: "Only the shoes, not the pants." He gets mad and says that no one will see the shoes. So I pull him off the ladder and go up there myself, turn the light only on his shoes, but he walks away, leaving me alone. Suddenly I see Mommy walking on the chairs. Floating. Then she comes up to me and lifts me in the air. "Direct me, direct me." I tell her that first I want to turn the spotlight on her shoes. She stands under the ladder, I turn the spotlight and she says: "Will you direct me? "Will you direct me?" Then her shoes disappear in the light of the lamp. It blinds me, so I close my eyes and her face is gone. Thanks for the flowers. Did you bring me some licorice? I forgot. Daddy, I'm sorry. Get up and do your exercises. Yes. The mice have a picnic on a mountain. They lay down a tablecloth, a tray. Can I have some? - No. It's not for you, it's for the mice. Everyone gets some cake, except for the baby, because it's too hard for her. She only drinks. Gonki. My Gonki, my Gonki. It went by fast, huh? What am I talking about? It's over. I have to put it behind me. It's easy for us to say, but for you? It's over. Where's Ora? Having some tests done. She couldn't cancel them. She didn't tell me about any tests. She said the swelling went down a few weeks ago. Hello. Hello, Daddy. - Hello. Hello, Goni. I smell that wonderful soup of yours. Gonki! We're eating! I'm sorry, my darling. How was your meeting with Alex? Where did you meet? At the theater cafe. - And? He asked me to direct a small insignificant play. Do you know it? I know the playwright, that's enough. I don't want to play anymore. I hate that piano. Why are you picking on the piano? You don't have to practice if you don't want to. Still, he asked you to direct. Yes. In the basement hall. That playwright is a disgrace. Delicious. Daddy made us such good soup. Gonki Galonki, why aren't you eating? Taste the soup. I made you soup! Did you see the doctor? - Tomorrow. I thought it was today. You were wrong. I'll pour Gonki Galonki some lemonade. Now try the soup and tell me if it's good. Are you sick, Mommy? Mommy just has to have some tests done. That's all. There are more schnitzels in the fridge. I'll make some. Leave her be. Have a seat. I'd rather stand. Would you like something to drink? - No. How's your father? He's in the hospital. - What's wrong? Do you really care? Yes. I saw a picture of the musical in the hallway. You and Dad are embraced. How idyllic. That's all over, Goni. All the big hits in this theater were his. His name is on half of the posters in the hallway. No one can take away the credit for the things he did. Yes, but no one's giving him any work either. Including you. How old are you? 25. Why? Did you know that my son is 21? I came to talk about Dad, not your son. Do you know how long he's out of work? I know. You used to be friends. There are things you don't know. I know that what he did was wrong. It was stupid and I was angry at him. But you were his best friend. You should've helped him. You were a little girl then. I'm a big girl now. I gave him a chance and he blew it. You liar. He's the one who gave you a chance. He made you thrive on stage and gave you the best parts. He took you places you thought you'd never reach. He let you dance and sing, the best thing you ever did. I loved your father and mother very much. How can you even talk about love? Relax, it'll be easier if you relax. My love. We'll try again. Help me. - Okay. Gently. - Okay. Okay, never mind. I can't. Never mind, my love. I'll get some bandages. Tell me the truth, Daddy. What, Gonki? About Mommy. Tell me about Mommy. Say it, Daddy. Mommy is dead. Say it again. Mommy is dead, Gonki. Mommy is dead. Yes. Want me to sleep here? Gonki Galonki is sad. Daddy Galonki is very sad too. How long have you been here? I just got here. You look good, Daddy. How are you? I'm fine. And you? Great. How's your son? He is in the army theater. That doesn't surprise me. And your wife? Nira and I got divorced 5 years ago. I didn't know. Until it happened, I didn't know either. Here, something sweet. Thank you. It's a good play, "The Enchanted Nose". Yes, it's never been done here before. Maybe in drama school, I'm not sure. It's a lovely comedy. So much street wisdom. Renee had a very sharp eye. They don't write like that anymore. How many characters? They all fit into a cab. Could a play like that work today? What once was good is always good. Then maybe we should translate in the meantime. Is that possible? What do you mean, possible? I mean, why don't you translate it? I need to think about it. What do you say? I said, I'd think about it. I have to get back to the theater. I'm sorry this visit was so short. Bye, Goni. - Bye. I don't believe a word you say. What? You think I'll never get out of here. So you come with this gesture of yours. You just came to insult me. - Yitzhak, don't be ridiculous. You liar! Just like the last time. Daddy, calm down. Drink. Drink. I brought your licorice. I don't want licorice and any chocolate from that snake. He's doing it because he feels bad. - He feels fine. You're acting like an idiot, but do as you like. You cried in the middle of the play when I got beaten in "The Fiddle". So what? You were four and you were howling. The cast stopped the play until Mommy took you backstage so you'd see I was okay. Then you calmed down. You're stubborn! Why are you telling me these Jewish fairytales? I can be stubborn too. You shouldn't have brought that snake here. Bonbons, he brings me. He was my friend, he should've been on my side. Maybe he's trying to fix something. I did things that were wrong, Goni. I know that. I wanted to get what was coming to me, no matter how. But what I did is disproportional to the punishment and to your suffering. All of ours. All of our little family. I carry it with me all the time. You know, a few days ago I bumped into someone I knew in 2nd grade. She used to say I was from a family of thieves. And that you stole our fridge from the theater. She can drop dead. She can drop dead, I don't care about her. And I don't care what people said or what happened. Your mother and I always thought that you, little one, deserved a better life. You didn't deserve all this. I miss Mommy so much. Mommy is dead. You're here and I'm here. Then they started fighting over it. And? Then they pulled it from each other and it tore. And? Then I told them to stop. So you became a judge? Judge Goni? In the High Court. Here. A play. Here. First act. First act. Well? - Well what? First act. Plays usually start with the first act, yes. Then there's a description of what's on the stage. It says here... "Waiting room in the clinic of Dr. Reno Laroire." I want to talk about what happened before. - I don't. Why is it so important to you that I direct there? Because you're a wonderful director. "Waiting room in the clinic of Dr. Reno Laroire." I'm not so sure anymore, Goni. You could still direct so many beautiful plays. "Waiting room in the clinic of Dr. Reno Laroire." "The walls are covered with diplomas... "and with anatomic sketches of the human body. "Anatomic drawings." Anatomic drawings, not sketches. "When the curtain rises, "Dr. Laroire is straightening the certificates on the wall. "Laroire is about 30 years old... "His collar is stiff and high." Give him his pills and make sure he rests at home. He shouldn't be going out now. I can take the pills myself. Okay, fine. Will you come visit? You call and we'll make a date. I'll get some licorice, coffee, tea, whiskey. You name it. Okay. Take care of yourself, alright? Thank you for everything. I'll be waiting. Let's go by the house first, I'll change my shirt. But I brought the one you wanted, it looks nice on you. Where do you want to sit? - Next to you. I don't want to go. You're kidding me. Goni, please. Daddy, do as I say. Don't talk to your father like that. Don't tell me what to do. Goni. Let's give it a pass. I can't. Daddy. Daddy! Daddy! Come on. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, come on. You'll be okay. Mr. Ben-Shmuel. Alex Dolgin's secretary asked me to take you to the rehearsal. Alex Dolgin is so busy? I'm Jonathan from the junior company. I'll be reading Reno Laroire. Would you like something to drink? No, thank you. This is my brother-in-law. Hello. - Hello. And this is Goni, his daughter. Hi. Jonathan. - Yeah, I heard. So the actors are coming at 12:00? Yes, so we should hurry. At one there's a small reception for the new season. Only one hour for the reading? That's what we were told, Mr. Ben-Shmuel. Call him Yitzhak. It's just the first act, Daddy. It's ridiculous. - I'll talk to Alex. No, I'll talk to him. Things must be done properly. Yitzhak, please don't be stressed. "Don't be stressed." Where is the rehearsal? In the makeup room? Yes, at the end of the hall. I'm going home. I told you this would happen. I'm going to talk to Alex. Sit with Dad and calm him down. Excuse me. Is everything okay? Everything's not okay. - Hold on. You give him an hour with the actors? That's a joke. Stop and think before you open your mouth and don't tell me it's a joke. So that's why it is in the makeup room? Do it in the stairwell, for all I care. Stop overreacting. You're doing it wrong. Then tell me how to do it. He's here after so many years and is so excited, you could at least give him a proper welcome. Believe me, I tried. - I don't believe you. After he got out of jail, I asked him to direct in the basement hall. He got up and left. I fought with everyone who didn't want to see his face in this building, and there were lots, there still are. You deserve a medal, Alex. - The next day, he changed his mind. Maybe Mother spoke with him, I don't know. But he called and said he'd accept my offer. I sent him the play. It was small, but it was a gem. We chose the cast and scheduled a rehearsal. He stuttered, lashed out at the actors, came unprepared, the actors said they wouldn't work with him. That was a long time ago. What about the big stage? Why not there? Hello, Yitzhak. Zeltzer. How are you? - Good. And you? How are you feeling? - Thank god, fine. You're still here? - I have no complaints. Lights and electricity, nothing has changed. How's your daughter? Thank god. She went to talk to Alex. Good, good. It's good seeing you. - Yes, you too. Hello, everyone. I'd like us to read the first act that I translated with the help of my daughter Goni who's sitting right here. And that's my brother-in-law. I chose the cast with Alex, or rather at his recommendation, since I don't know any of you. But... The recommendations were very strong. Yes. Hello, everyone. Don't mind me. In any case, Alex suggested we read "The Enchanted Nose" with the junior company. I thought... Excuse me, dear actors, I see you're taking the text out of the envelopes, is this the first time you've seen it? I'm sorry, they only informed us yesterday, we're rehearsing all the time, you expect too much of us. A serious actor is supposed to prepare at home. Yitzhak, don't be so hard on them. In the past, I would've got up and left. You nearly did. - Shut up. What was that? Nothing, I'm sorry. - We should begin, Dad. Okay, let's begin. Sorry I can't stay. You're all invited to the reception. Yitzhak, please come. I think the reading should be done "mis en scene". Which means? Which means, Monsieur Laroire, please come over here. This is your clinic. You're straightening the diplomas on the wall. The wall is here. You're a plastic surgeon, you have diplomas, you took a lot of courses, straighten the courses. Mademoiselle Principale, please come over here. Over here. Open the door, come in, and close the door behind you. Read, please. I don't have the text, I... Not only did you not read the text at home, you think you know it by heart. Are you going to keep pestering me, Mademoiselle Principale? Yes. Well, what is it? Well, I'm not going to give in, doctor, until you... Until I what, miss? Until you, doctor... Wait. There's no point in just yelling at her. You're in love with her. You're embarrassed. She's not a stranger who just walked in. Remember that when you're talking to her. I want to try something else. Go out and come in again. Are you going to keep pestering me, Mademoiselle Principale? Yes. - Well, what is it? Well, I'm not going to give in, doctor, until you... Excellent. Until I what, miss? Until you, doctor, admit to the saddening fact... Until I, miss, admit to the gladdening fact... Talk to her. Sit. That I firmly refuse to change the smallest detail on your lovely little nose. I insist on saying that my nose is neither little nor lovely. Dear Mademoiselle Francine Principale... You love her, don't forget that when you're talking to her. How did I do? Not too bad. Want to go get some coffee? Can't. Do you have to stay with him all the time? Are you assistant-director? He's my father. So you're assistant-father? Hello? Yitzhak, it's Alex. Hello, Alex. The rehearsal went well today. Yes, it's coming along. It could end up being a hit. We'll see. Step by step. Yes, step by step. So... Good night, Yitzhak. Good night. Get up. Daddy. What's wrong? - Why didn't you get up? What time is it? Five after ten. I gave you the alarm clock. I forgot to set it. We're late, that's not good. No, it's not. Get up. Good morning. Please tell Alex we're running a bit late, we'll be right there, I just can't get a cab. It's Goni, Yitzhak Ben-Shmuel's daughter, I'm sorry. Yes. Okay, then don't bother Alex about it. Okay, we'll be right there. What are you doing? I have to take my pills. Come on! Would you please hurry up? I'm almost ready. All I need is my shoes. Alex. Goni. I know we're late. We're on our way, I don't know what's going on, I can't get a cab. Okay, we're on our way, I'm sorry. Bye. In my wallet there's a secret number for a taxi, I always get one through them. Don't forget the text. And take my binder from the desk. Too tight, too tight. You're pulling it too hard. Do it yourself. Goni. Gonki. Help me. It's my fault, I'm sorry. Is everyone here? Of course. Shall we go in? - Yes, we're anxious to continue, sir. Want to get together after rehearsal? I don't think so. How about this weekend? I can't, I'm working. I'm busy with my father. I'm sorry if I offended you yesterday. Forget it. Walk gracefully. It's Europe. Not here, not Tel Aviv. Not coarse, not hot. Graceful. Paris. Champs Elysees. Gracefully. Okay. And now, walk as if a string is pulling you from the crown of your head. Walk as if you're hanging in midair. I said string, not rope. Yes, keep walking, good. Shoulders down and turn around. And... Other side. Walk with your foot in the air and... Keep going. It went really well today. Good. We did two more scenes. Great. I thought you'd come back. You're mad at me. Why? You should move out. You're paying rent for nothing. I'm going away, Dad. Where to? For how long? I don't know. Overseas is good. You think so? Yes. I think your mother would be very proud of you. Good night, Gonki. Good night, Daddy. You didn't forget anything? - I have everything. You're sure? - I'm sure. Here, put this in your pocket. I don't need anymore money, Dad. Put it in your pocket, I can be stubborn too. Do you feel alright? I feel fine. You're sure? - I'm very sure. I'll be late for rehearsal. Take care of yourself, my child. You too, my father. Subtitles: Cinematyp Studios Ltd. Chelsea, over here. Chelsea, come on. Over here. Chelsea Sennett, America's sweetheart. Hi. Don't you look all bright and shiny. Thanks, Nicky bear. Take Chelsea and her mom to table 12. Kick out whoever's sitting there. Hey there, buddy. Where's your client? Chasing tail. My man, Colin, the next Brad Pitt. You let me know if you need anything. Yeah. Chelsea. Colin. Colin? Let's go! Morning. Tell Casey I'm sorry. It sounded like I woke the baby. He's cutting his first tooth. Nobody sleeps. That's a lot of blood. It's Miranda Clark's. She's in the hospital. Multiple cuts and bruises, concussion, possible skull fracture. She have profile? Her boyfriend does. Colin Blakely, The New Shadow. A year ago, he's bussing tables, now he gets 3 mil a picture. So it fits the pattern of the other eight. Victim's high profile, young Hollywood, no forced entry, no prints. Hmm. Where was Mr. Blakely? Clubbing. Got home at dawn and found her. They must have known he was out and got surprised by the girlfriend. That's a big escalation. Where's The Shadow now? Kaiser. He insisted on riding in the ambulance. It happened before I got here. What'd they get? 3 grand in cash, and take a look. I see eight Rolex boxes. The guy's got two arms and eight Rolexes? Two arms, eight Rolexes and one safe he didn't use. Genius. Actor. I remember running to the door and falling on the ground. And thinking, "Why isn't Colin here? "He should be here." Do you know where he was? It's not like I know her name. Got a friend you can stay with? No. I'm just the girlfriend from back home. So I left The Edison with a buddy around 1:00. And I just passed out back at his place. His name? What does that matter? So I can confirm your whereabouts. Hey, come on, man, you can't actually think that I would... That's why I need his name. Look... I love Miranda. All right. Give me her name. She's in the business. I... It wouldn't feel right to give you her name until my people talk to her people. You do know I can ask anyone of a dozen photographers who you left The Edison with. I didn't... I didn't cheat on Miranda. Colin cheated on Miranda with Chelsea Sennett. They did E at the club, then some coke back at her place. My daughter loves her in those two dance school movies. Those were Disney movies. She was just a kid. And how old is she now? Old. Twenty. Exactly. Is there a point you're making that I'm missing? Look, 99% of 12-year-old girls would kill to be the illegal-drinking, E-popping, club-crawling Chelsea Sennett. Ain't America grand? Not if you have a 12-year-old daughter. How late was Colin here? About 5:00. We were just having fun. He never even mentioned his girlfriend. What about this boy? You ever seen him? The victim helped us with this sketch of her assailant. I don't know. He looks like he could be 100 different people. Miss Sennett, can I have a word? You ever go to Throb? Or Cushion? Sure. What about way back when Cushion was called Class A? No, but I hear it kicked. Mmm. Legend's always better than the truth. My partner and I are after a group of burglars working the club circuit. They target people like you and Colin 'cause you're young and famous and it's easy to track when you stay out late. Up till last night, they only hit empty houses. But when they stumbled across Colin's girlfriend, they beat her unconscious. Now you're just trying to scare me. Can you help me out? Take another look at this sketch for me. You should ask my friend, Vicki. She had some stuff taken a few months ago. I never reported it, but they took a bracelet, three rings and my GFGD shirt. Thank you. Is that a band? Fashion. It's one of a kind. A gift from a designer. Vagabond chic. Retail, how much is that worth? 2000, maybe. So when exactly were the items stolen? March 9th. It was Chelsea's birthday. We got kicked out of Mondrian. Then she threw a drink at her ex at Avalon, the ridiculous one with the reality show, K.K. When I got home, I was packing for London to go visit my parents when I realized the shirt was gone. Why didn't you report it then? Well, I was going to London. Do you realize there's probably a dozen more Vickis out there who don't even know they've been ripped off? Burglary's still burglary and Miranda's not Vicki. So how do you fence a $2000, one-of-a-kind T-shirt? First you got to find somebody willing to wear it. But if you do, they're gonna want to wear it where they can be noticed. I'm thinking this T-shirt needs its own Facebook page. Yes. Have you seen me? You guys are harassing me because of Facebook? That T-shirt has 3400 friends and six people posted pictures of you wearing it tonight. Apparently it's one of a kind. From like a three-year-old collection. I got it from this Asian girl, Kai, I'd seen around the clubs. She was at that place on Sunset Plaza next to Chin Chin. She had these shopping bags full of clothes. I just really wanted it. Chelsea-Colin photos have hit the Web. "Robbery Love Triangle." I ran DMV for Asian girls named Kai in the right age and weight range. Our girl in the stolen T-shirt picked this one. Kai Ng. Hmm. Say our crew flagged Colin and Chelsea at The Edison. Stands to reason if Kai was one of the burglars, she'd be at The Edison too. Sounds like we should talk to the guy that took that photo. I shoot HD video. It's revolutionary. I sell stills, video, I get it all, I miss nothing. There. There's your girl. Nice-looking blonde. Part of the gang? Show him the sketch. What about this guy? You ever see him? Sure. I know ten boys look just like him. Come with me to Mother Lode, I'll find you 20. What about this, what if we gave you a list of the other victims, could you see if you have footage of any of them on the nights their homes were robbed? You would give me a first dibs call on future break-ins? Public loves to watch stars suffer like regular people. Tito's Burritos para todos. So any joy? Ah. These four windows. I caught film of the victim on the night they were broken into. What about Kai Ng or the blondie with her at The Edison? Here. The night Vicki DeMille was robbed. There's Vicki and Chelsea and there's Kai. I might have something. February 10th footage. Fast forward to 12:02:16. Chelsea Sennett? Mmm-hmm. All right. Now March 5th, rewind to 04:42:03. There's Chelsea again. All four times, Chelsea was with the burglary victim on the night they were robbed. One, that's random, two's coincidence. Four? That's a pattern. So what do you say, Manto? Eight. Eight? They're worth 120 retail. Not anymore. Story's all over TMZ, AH, CNN. You hit the big time. We should take off for Palm Springs now. It's just one more. We need the money. It's a no-brainer. Run! Oh, God, no! Okay, man, let's see him. Ma'am, had you ever seen him before last night? No. What happened after you heard the sound? I got the gun from the lock box in my closet. Do you need the lock box too? We'll let you know. I moved toward the sound thinking that it couldn't be Chelsea because Chelsea comes up the stairs in a certain way. I wasn't even supposed to be home. I saw the boy, he turned towards me. Things like this aren't supposed to happen to people like Chelsea and me. So how is Chelsea? "My mom is so brave, the way she defended our home. "She is my role model in all things. "I am so proud to be her daughter. "I only hope that in the same situation, I would have as much courage." Thank you. Chelsea! Chelsea! One more! Turn around, Chelsea. Chelsea! Mom shoots a burglar, daughter holds a press conference. I love LA. Evening, Counselor. Hey, you two got a minute? I got a 314 awaiting a plea, but Morales wants a copy of your report on the Sennett house shooting. With all the press, he doesn't want to let it hang. It's not as simple as it looks. The rest of the crew's still out there, and Chelsea Sennett's in too many right places for it to be a coincidence. Nadine Krawchuck. I like the sound of that. But I gotta tell you, I got a bunch of cats. Don't touch anything. Police stations are a breeding ground for disease. It's this kind of attitude that keeps us off The Amazing Race. Abby! Ow! Hi, Officer Ravitz, I'm Abby. And that adorable man handcuffed over there-- uh, not the bald guy or the lady dude-- is my kind of, sort of brother-in-law, so I'm here to bust him out. Oh, legally. So I would like to post his bail, preferably using a combination of credit cards and gift certificates. Bail won't be set for at least another four to six hours. You're being a tad unreasonable, Officer Ravitz. And you do not want to be known as "Unreasonable Ravitz." I have known the pain of a hurtful nickname. Don't worry, buddy, we'll keep you out of jail. But if we don't, the first thing you do when you get in there is kick someone's ass. That's how I survived space camp. Look, lady, I hear a million sob stories a day, and most of them aren't in English, so I don't know what the hell they're talking about. And none of that really matters because I don't like him. And I'm beginning to not like you. This is a power trip, huh? They give you a badge and a gun and you get to play God? Well, my sister is counting on me to get her baby daddy to the hospital. Now you're holding on to something of mine, so I'm gonna hold on to something of yours. Ma'am, give that back. Why? Why, what are you gonna do about it? "Abby's been arrested"? Well, I had the baby. Really? Yeah. You guys took so long, I'm already pregnant with another one. Here's your ice water. Thank you. Anything else I can get for you, dirty stranger? Dr. Roland! Oh, my God. I'm so glad to see you. Yeah. I didn't need to see the Rolling Stones tonight. Where's Zack? Jail. Boom! Just won the office pool. Okay. Let's take a gander at the old money maker, huh? Oh, six centimeters. Shouldn't be long now. But Zack's not here. Olivia, help. Don't worry about it. I know people at every precinct in this town: If they don't let him go, they're going to read about it in tomorrow's front page. Yeah, she's gonna get arrested, too. Hey. I slept with her. I don't care. I can't believe that Zack's not going to make it. I can't do this without him. Look, Dr. Roland, I need to reschedule. I'll move my nail appointment to next Tuesday. But I'm not ready to have a baby yet. Well, you should have thought of that before you got pregnant. Okay, did you somehow swallow my mother? You'll stay with me, right? I can count on you, at least, can't I? Absolutely. All right, Substitute Daddy, scrub up and get ready because I'm gonna need you to hold the baby as it comes out. Now, get a good grip, because it's gonna be kind of slimy. I'm passing out. What? Passing out. Are you okay? Gone. God, this is going on forever, and I have to get there in time. What's the longest it's ever taken for a baby to come out? Well, I heard about this one woman in the Himalayas who was in labor for a week. Really? Yeah. She died. Oh, this is not a helpful story. No, it's not. God, I can't believe I didn't even have it together enough to be there for my own son's birth. I mean, my father was a son of a bitch, but he was there when I was born. God, Billie must think I'm the biggest loser on Earth right now. You? What about me? I'm her sister. If anyone should be there, I should. I feel awful. You have to tell me where you got those boots. Olivia? What are you doing here? I'm here to use my journalistic connections to get them out. Now, which one arrested Zack? Grumpypuss behind that desk. And don't touch his hat. He's very attached to it. Marion? Olivia? Oh... Oh, my God. Darling. You're alive! All right. Olivia and Abby can catch up, but we've got to get you to the hospital to meet your son, mister. When did you get a Porsche? Oh, it's my brother's. He gave it to me when he met Antonio and moved to Florence. I didn't know your brother was... An expatriate. I know. It's surprising. Okay. Billie, I'm out and on the way. How you doing? They won't let me eat. Tell them to let me eat! Dude, it's all going down, man. It was a bit dicey there for a minute, but then they gave me a shot. Now I'm pumped! Okay, Nick. Let's see what this baby can do. I'm way ahead of you. Okay, you're at nine centimeters. Hey, when European guys measure their penis, do they get to use centimeters? 'Cause that would sound a lot more impressive. Hey, let's go easy on the penis talk down there. The point is, you're not quite there yet. This is not quite there? ! I know this sounds hard to believe, but I think the baby has a knife! Well, it is a rough neighborhood. Now, listen to me, baby. What's the rush? The next time you're going to be anywhere near one of those things is after the bar closes, and all the good-looking guys have already gone home. My son is going to be very handsome, and he will be taking ladies home early and often, but he won't try anything, because that's just the kind of guy he is. Guess who's here? Yay! Yay! Where's Zack? He and Nick left before us. I thought he'd be here. I am aware that you're anxious, but I do not have a spotless driving record by accident. It's just five more blocks. And that is statistically when most accidents occur. I really think Zack should be here because this thing's kicking my ass from the inside out. Doctor, what should we do? Hold her. Talk to her. Tell her something to distract her. I made friends with a transvestite prostitute. Another one? Big deal. Uh... I slept with Olivia! You what? ! That's good. Yeah. More stuff like that. Tell her where. Uh, okay. In your living room. Kitchen floor, on your bed... where your head goes. Olivia! Oh, I'm not ashamed of anything I did to him. I am, a little. Can you at least wear the gloves? You're getting palm sweat all over the steering wheel. Don't worry. I'm getting everything. Over the shoulder, over the shoulder! Abby, over my shoulder! Okay, all right. If it makes you feel any better, way more people than this have gathered around to see my vagina. That does not make me feel better. Nor I. Billie! Billie! Zack! Did I miss anything? I love you. I love you, too. Where's Nick? He's downstairs. Apparel was half-off at the gift shop. Oh. So glad you finally made it, bro. Thanks for being here, man. Yeah, man. I got this scene under control. She's at nine centimeters... and I'm at 16. Why are you two holding hands? They slept together. You will do anything to steal focus. Okay, we're getting close now. I'm gonna need you to push. The breathing's not working. I don't think I can do this. Rub her back. Get her some ice chips. Rub her back with ice chips. Oh, I'm passing out. What? He's passing out. Are you okay? Gone. Oh! Okay, yeah, get him out of here. In fact, everybody out. But... Yeah. Bye, everyone. Come on. I'll stay if that's okay with you. Zack, I'm really scared. something about this doesn't feel right. I wish I had my music. Your music. Uh... ♪ Bum Ba dum ♪ ♪ Bum, bum, bum ♪ ♪ Boom Ba Nana rum ♪ ♪ Bum, bum, bum, bom bada Dada rum ♪ ♪ Bo bump oh bump bum bump bana Nana rum... ♪ DR. ROLAND: ♪ Ah, push it ♪ ♪ Bump bum, bum, bom bada Dada rum ♪ ♪ Push it good. Ah! ♪ ♪ Push it ♪ ♪ Bump bum, bum, bom bada Dada rum ♪ ♪ Push it real good ♪ ♪ Salt N Pepa's here ♪ ♪ And we're in effect ♪ ♪ Want you to push it, girl ♪ ♪ Move it by day... ♪ Well, are we singing or not? Okay. Zack! Oh, sorry. Uh, uh... ♪ Ooh, baby, baby ♪ ♪ Ba-Baby, baby... ♪ Okay, here we go, one final push. Lock and load now. ♪ Bump bum, bum, bom bada Dada rum ♪ DR. ROLAND: ♪ Ah. Push it ♪ Come on. ♪ Push it good now ♪ ♪ Bump bum, bum, bom bada Dada rum ♪ ♪ Ah. Push it ♪ Come on. ♪ Push it good now ♪ ♪ Ah. Push it ♪ Give me the rhythm. DR. ROLAND: ♪ Ah, push it. ♪ Stay on the beat! Stay on the beat! Thank you. Uh-huh. Hey. Who's your daddy? Me. He is so beautiful. Takes after his mom. Yeah. Give Mommy a high five. Up high. Down low. Too slow. Good job, darling. Hey, what's up, little baby? I like your hat. I got one just like it. Look, Nick. It's our nephew. Finally you're not the one in the family with the smallest feet. He's adorable. You guys will still pay attention to me, though, right? He's smiling. Oh. You know, I think Henry and I should have the same last name. Yeah, I'm cool with that. Henry Chase. No. Henry Krawchuck. What do you mean? Well, what I mean is, I know I took a couple months to get back to you on your marriage proposal. The offer's still valid, right? Four more minutes. Well, the answer is yes. So we're engaged. Yeah. Look, I don't want to put any pressure on you, but how long do you want to wait before we have kids? Stay back! What's going on? What just happened? I guess some people don't deal well with rejection. Oh, my God! Total 911! Goblins have stormed our kitchen and they are eating all our sugar pops. Tell them the milk has gone bad. Was someone kept up late by a doggy-style celebration of love? A little...all night long? I want all the hairy details, okay? Okay, no. No details, hairy or otherwise. I feel like crap. Didn't you see Dyson last night? - Yes. - Okay, well did you tell him you wanted him to be your boyfriend? Did he say that he loved you? He had another woman there. Oh, tits. According to Dyson, we are only going to have sex when I need to heal. But there was something there. I saw it, man. - God, he totally led you on. - It is not a big deal, okay? Let me go back to sleep. I have the flu. - Bo. - Kenzi. Kenzi. Bo, that disgusting feeling churning in your guts, that's not the flu. That's rejection, honey. Oh, my God. You have never been rejected before, have you? I don't know. - Maybe. - Okay. Okay. I am familiar with you wanting a guy and him not wanting you back. And heartbreak sucks, but there are ways to deal and I will show you how. Or is our little Succubus gonna stay in bed forever? No. Okay. Telling Dyson how I feel, that was your idea. This is your fault. That is why I am gonna be there for you every step of the way. - Including ice cream for breakfast. - Oh, joy. Look, dealing with rejection, it can be fun. I promise you. Pinkie swear. Okay. Enough. Shit! Fun, huh? What's the worst that could happen? Life is hard when you don't know who you are. It's harder when you don't know what you are. My love carries a death sentence. I was lost for years, searching while hiding only to find that I belong to a world hidden from humans. I won't hide any more. I will live the life I choose. This is not the day to piss me off, kid. I told you, man. I wasn't even there. Because I was banging your old lady. - Yo, Dy. Dyson. - He broke my arm. - Just breathe. -It's not broken. - Breathe, breathe, breathe. -It's just dislocated. What's gotten under your collar? - See? All better now. - You got fleas? You okay? Ready and begin. Yes! Bust it! Bust that shit up! Bust it like it's Dyson's douchey-ass face! Yes! That face is never kissing again. - What else? - We wallow. Kenzi break-up mix on repeat all frigging afternoon. - You have a break-up mix? - Dude, you have so much to learn. Yes. And then it's girls on the town. We're gonna burn this city to the ground, baby! I don't do that. I'm not much of a party queen. Drinking equals losing control equals someone gets dead. Yeah, but what a way to go, dude. Okay, fine. We'll cut loose somewhere safe. You know, this is what I don't get, okay? I did nothing wrong, and I'm the one whose day has gone to shit. For Dyson, it's like, "Bo who?" Totally unaffected. Let's go. Let's go. We're gonna party. We're gonna forget about it. All right? We'll see about that. Okay, this is me in the bar. - And this is me going back to bed. - Oh, no. We are not wasting hours of dress-up. I don't care if I have to slather you with fairy dust. - I don't think that's an actual thing. - I don't care. - Special occasion? - Yeah, it's girls' night out. In a pub? This pub? Safer if Bo's with her own kind so start us a tab, Trickster. - One drink. - Maybe two. - Okay. That's right, champ. Look at that. Not only is he dodging charges, he's gonna sue our ass. - Never gonna happen. Just talk. - Yeah? You can deduce that? Interesting, you haven't been deducing shit this past while. - Is there a problem, ma'am? - You. You are a problem. - This is your third complaint. - Nothing new. -It's just suspects stirring up shit. - No, you're losing control and it's getting in the way. - I'll try harder. Better than that. You'll report to the shrink and get shrunk, or I am chaining you to this desk. Well done. Now you gonna tell me what the hell's going on? Come on, this is lame you leaving me out. Man, I got the cops, and I got the Fae. It's two full-time jobs. Now I got Bo. She's a handful on her own. Bo. Oh, man. Bo. Oh, man. You hit that? - Yes, you did. - I need a drink. Fine, but you're my wingman. I'm tired of being with the ugly chick. Oh, my God. That is good. That is good. - It makes my throat tingle. - I don't think I have a throat left. That is some good shit, Mr. T. Oh, you. You are the Kenziest Kenzi ever. And Dyson...? - Dyson is a scratchy-faced... - Yes. -... Grouchy, cooch-tease. - Yes. And I should've bit it off when I had the chance. Oh, unneeded visual, baby. But yes, let it all out. Let it out. What else? What else? - Lauren. - Oh, my God. Don't get me started on that girl. How could you be so cold and frigid? - She's like a freaking speculum. - She's here. Hi, Kenzi. Hey. You know, as your doctor I should recommend against excessive intoxication. Who's drunk? Well, we don't know the effects of cocktails on your abilities. Well, I am not a guy, so I can promise you booze does not affect my ability to perform. I wouldn't wanna be on the receiving end of a drunken Succubus booty call, so take it easy. - No promises. Keep an eye on her. Okay, I don't know if it's from the buckthorn hallucinations but that was some serious sparkage. - I think she likes you. - No, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, because Lauren is human. I sleep with her, and she dies. This guy- - This guy on the other hand, he has sexual chi to burn. He's right behind you. A woman as lovely as yourself shouldn't be alone. Well, I'm not. There's two of you. I'm Samir. - Bo. - I know. Everybody knows. The one who won't choose a side, neither light nor dark. Exciting. Yeah, tell me about it. That's my wife Olivia. Awesome, bone structure. - She's lovely. - Glad you think so. We were hoping you'd join us for a drink back at our place. And your wife, is she okay with that? My wife is an Erinys, a Fury. I wouldn't flirt if she didn't give me say so. In fact, you're her choice, and I wholeheartedly agree. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Girl, are you a Succubus or a succu-bust? A rebound screw is the greatest way to get over a guy. -It's just science. - I told you. I never cared that much about Dyson anyway. My place. Let's go. It's coming ... We're gonna need a safe word. Gold star for Kenzi. Rebound sex was exactly what I needed. Why do you look like you're not at all sharing this monster hangover? What can I say? For me, sexual healing is a literal thing. I hate you. And there's no strings attached. - That was the best idea you ever had. - You're very welcome. And you're back. I will go get my earplugs. - Where's your owner? - Hi, Olivia. - Hi. - I don't have an owner. - Olivia. - Good to see you. I hope you're not back for an encore because last night was a one-time thing. No, you left me quite depleted. I could barely walk. - So, what's up? - I have a problem. I hear you have special skills for hire. They are. Let's talk rates. Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of Kenzi. So, what's the job? I want you to kill someone. And that's gonna cost extra. When you mate for life, and your life is centuries you make it work. So you invite other Fae into bed whenever you get bored. Keeps things exciting. But we've had a rule, no snacking behind each other's backs. - Naturally. - What happened? Samir and I own an event-planning business. The girl's a florist we used on one occasion. Her name's Jenny. So Samir couldn't keep his hands off the help? That's typical. - I didn't know he was shucking around. - Shucking? Sex with a human. it's beneath us. - I feel dirty by association. - No of fence taken. You know, if it had been one slip ... But it's turned into a full-blown affair. He has feelings for her. Found these in his desk. They're from her. They've been writing to each other for months. - On paper? - It has to stop. I'd kill the girl myself, but we Light Fae really are supposed to frown on harming humans. How generous of you, Olivia. But you're unaffiliated. It would be so nice and uncomplicated for you to get rid of her. What are your rates for exterminating? It wasn't a coincidence that I ended up in bed with you, was it? I chose you because of the job. My taste of you has convinced me you're strong enough. Well, problem, Liv, is that I'm not an assassin. One touch, and she's six feet under. And you're for hire. What's the issue? Oh, you know, how killing someone is wrong. You're not hearing me. I'm not gonna snuff out a life because it clashes with your drapes. Fine. Screw the complications, I will take care of this myself. We should probably find this Jenny. And save her from a jealous Fury. Yeah. - So where do we find her? - Oh, return address. Exactly why did you take this? Habit. Just habit. You stuck your hand in the wrong cookie jar, little girl. The price of being with my husband will be insanity and death. I hope it was worth it. Bad Fae. Stupid girl. Someone should have told you never to cross a Fury. Get out of my head. This is nothing. I'm gonna sear your mind beyond repair. Let's turn up the heat. - Let's go. - My bag. Call the grease monkeys, man. I can smell brain oil burning down the hall. Tong says break some cases, I'll break some cases. Yeah. You know the surefire way to convince a therapist that you need help? No? Show up to your first appointment late. Therapy is bullshit. Human bullshit. If you don't play ball, you're gonna end up one castrated cop which means you're useless to our side. Go to your session. How's the head? Achy. I don't really remember what happened. Can you just put that down? - And where did you get that, anyway? - Pawnshop, and it's awesome. - Who are you again? - I'm Bo. L.m a. - Private investigator. - Right. You've gotten mixed up with dangerous people. - Like the mob? - Sort of. Jenny, Olivia put a hit on you. That's why Samir's been so distant. He was protecting me. Maybe he was leading you on. Getting a piece of tail on the side while mouthing promises about leaving his wife. Then he gets bored and just bails without even a goodbye. Or whatever. I'm sure he cared about you, Jenny. I can tell him to handle Olivia before somebody gets killed. Now get some rest, okay? Tell her what she's dealing with. It's not fair. No. I start talking about that stuff, Fae get mad at me and things start sucking. This is our life now, Kenzi. We have to protect it. This is how you want to play this game? What a maverick. Guess what. I got 10 cops a week who pull this stunt in here. The tougher you guys act, the more I can see through you. Dyson, it's okay to ask for help. Stab in the dark here. You reek like too many frozen dinners. You drank an entire bottle of cheap Merlot by yourself last night because you live alone and you're hooked on Xanax. So you tell me, who needs therapy here, huh? I'm just gonna top up my coffee before we get started. You do that, doc. You've always been strong but you feel your world is spinning out beyond your control and instead of dealing with suddenly feeling vulnerable you're compensating by swinging your big, manly nightstick. Stab in the dark. Samir? Succubus whore! Samir? Kenzi? Arm up. People are really starting to lose their heads. Easy, killer. it's just me. Bo, what happened? - What's wrong? What did Samir say? - Not very much. Nothing, actually. I'm sorry, Jenny. When I got there, Samir was dead. Olivia, she's kind of insane. She got there first. I was too late. No. No. No. - No. No. - I don't deal well with hysterical. Bo, what are you doing? I'm taking the edge off, I think. I know it hurts, Jenny. You'll get through this. Just give it time. - Maybe you should go lie down, okay? - Okay. Come on. How was your thing with the counselor? Useless. Jesus. So what are we thinking here, human kill or Fae on Fae? Don't know yet. I kept it out of the human system to be safe, but the wife's missing. Hale, where's the head? - Not here. - What do you think did this? Something went through those bones without too much fuss. - And interrupted the poor man's dinner. - Yeah. Hey, you think it was a misadventure with the electric carving knife? Yeah, I'll just call the cleaners. Any witnesses? All we have is the text that you got from Samir's own cell phone. Anonymous. Not that anonymous. So Olivia ran out of the house, crazy as a loon and I found Samir, no head. Oh, and Jenny's upstairs sleeping. Did Olivia have the weapon? - I didn't notice. - Did she have the head? - I don't know. Was it not there? - No. Well, I don't have it. - Is there anything else? - Yeah. Why did you bring them back here in the first place? I was hungry. My last meal left me just a little unsatisfied and they were yummy. You might think about curbing that appetite. Hey, hairy palms, what's it to you? You jealous much? I have to find Olivia before she hurts someone else. In the meantime, keep the door locked and your eyes open. - Where are you gonna look for her? - Furies always have sisters. Big, strong Dyson. Is it true you're a cop now? How tame. I know Olivia's sick. Tell me where she is so I can help her. Someone tried to kill our sister. No one we don't trust gets near her. Ladies, we're here under the auspices of The Ash, okay? Wanna mess with that? - Well, we can't get her out. - That's why you bring a Siren. I promise. We'll do what we can for her. It cuts the stems and pulls off all the pretty petals. Someone's breaking in! Not asleep. Not me. I'm fine. - I gotta go check on our house guest. - Yeah. I wanted to see what it looked like on. It must be so cool being you, all kick-ass and everything. I bet you always get what you want. You'd be surprised. - So you're feeling better, then? - Oh, much. I just feel so safe here. Feels so right. Jenny I know what it's like to be led on and I would hate to do that to you, so ... I'm saying this not to be cruel, but to be clear. You staying here, it's just temporary. Yeah. Of course. I'll be out of your hair as soon as it's safe. Just say the word. - Dyson. - I have Olivia. We're at the clinic. - So we can relax, then? - Or you can get your ass down here. The Ash wants you to explain this. - Well, what if I say my calendar's full? - Don't. - What's up? - I've been summoned. You are not leaving me with Weepy McWeepster. Oh, yeah, about that. I need for you to do something for me. I'm not giving her a sponge bath, I swear to God. I put too much oomph in my zing, and she's crushing on me big time. I need for you to talk her out of it gently. - Girl's been through enough. - Fantastic. Hey, look on the bright side. Dyson found Olivia, and everything will be just fine. Shit-encrusted maggots. Burning, scorching rain. Flaying skin of rotting sinners. - Yeah, we're working on that. - Don't touch me! - How is she? - I'm easing her pain but her brain is in a death spiral. The prodigal Succubus. What's your part in this? She asked me to execute a human and I refused. We fought, and her attack, I guess it backfired. And then someone killed Samir. I went over to talk to him and he was already dead. All I saw was Olivia like this. She ran as soon as she saw me. Her insanity does explain the messy kill. I didn't kill my husband. I ate his brains with a tarragon sauce, but he did not die! That cheating sack of shit taunts me from the other world! Attacking a human out of jealousy, murdering your mate? Supposed to punish those who break our rules not break them yourself. And you, siding with a human over a Fae. You could not take a more foolish position. The day is still early. I'll break the news to Olivia's sisters. We'll be keeping you under close scrutiny. And you, Dyson, let's hope your performance improves. I'm so sorry. I totally forgot to order it without peppers. Yeah. Even though I told you seconds before that I hated green peppers. - My head still must be a little fuzzy. - Must be. So what kind of food does Bo like? - Nothing special. She seems like someone who'd like a good steak. - Maybe. - What's Bo's favourite restaurant? We don't really eat out much. ...We..? - Yeah. "We" this, "we" that. You're pretty much right in there with Bo, huh? Right by her side, day in, day out. Yeah. You know, we're kind of a team. Is that healthy? I mean, don't you want to branch out on your own one day so that both of you can flourish? - Yeah. You know, you're totally right. I'm actually planning on going back to school and getting my law degree. Oh, law. - That's so great. - Yeah. it's so great. - Gotta pee. - Okay. Oh, jeez. On, shit. Oh, my God. On, God. Mine. Kenzi? Jenny? - Yes? - Hey. You gotta hear this. I was checking out Samir in our system. - What, he has a rap sheet? - No, but Jenny does. - Jenny? - She was picked up a few weeks ago in the garage of Samir's office. - No kidding. - I checked with the arresting officers. Samir told them that Jenny had become obsessed. He slept with her, but she became delusional. Thought that they were having some sort of a love affair. What, so the entire relationship was in her head? That's nuts. She's been stalking him for months. Begged us to keep quiet, didn't want his wife to find out. - Which means what? - Look, our fox screen shows the wine Samir was drinking was laced with tranquilizers. Olivia did not have the presence of mind to drug him, Bo. She's not our killer. I think we have bigger problems. Yeah? Bo? I found the head. There's a note. "Beloved, I've taken steps to remove the obstacle between us. Join me at the farm. We'll start our life together." - Did you sleep with her too? - I touched her. That's all. - You can't use your powers-- - Save the lecture, okay? - She's taken Kenzi. - Goddamn it. Did you think you could get between me and Bo? It wasn't on my radar one way or the other. What are you gonna do? Don't worry. You're just the bait. It'll be over quick once Bo gets here. Actually, I prefer slow and drawn out. There's no reason to rush anything, you know? I knew you'd come. How could I resist such a romantic gesture? - You're not mad? - No. At you? Jenny, no. You're my destiny. I love you. Nobody ever loves me as much as I love them. Everyone whoever said they loved me they all left. But I always keep a piece of them close. Samir was no different. A coward in the end, too scared to love me back. - You killed him. - I went to his home to tell him that I totally accepted it was over. He was so relieved. Then I drugged him and cut off his head. How's that for over? You let me find the body, Jenny. - You pretended to be upset. - I'm sorry I lied, Bo. But that was before I understood this thing we have between us. But everything's different now. I'll never be separated from the one I love. What did you do, Jenny? You can learn a lot from the Internet like how to turn ordinary fertilizer and paint into explosives. When I push this button we'll be together forever. - Okay. Okay, but if we're gonna go out with a bang I want it to be in your arms. Oh, I'd like that. - Okay. - Slowly. How convenient. They're together. One-stop shopping. Liar. You're just like everyone else. I didn't bring them. Just calm down. - Who are you? - Our sister's dead because of you. And you took part, so you both pay. Don't. Don't. She's got a bomb. No. This isn't supposed to go like this. Everybody, calm down. We're gonna talk. No. No more talking. No more lies. No more lies ever again. Nice, but you still have your training wheels on. Ada! Ada, come here. At least I can still see the road. Come on. - Detonator. - No. There's no time. Bo! Don't leave me. Come back here, you bitch. - I'm here, baby. - Okay. Okay. Bo. Stay back! What's going on? What the hell just happened? I guess some people don't deal well with rejection. Thought I'd be extra crispy for sure. As if I could get rid of you that easily. Hey, Bo. I'm not like Jenny, am I? I'm not too clingy or anything? You make me want to be a better Fae. Go seduce a yak. My God. Mass destruction and two dead Furies. That's quite the Friday. Trick, a pint, please. The Ash, he's pissed, huh? I told him you got there after and that we both arrived too late, so you're off the hook. So you covered for me? This Jenny thing's a serial killer case. It's scored me some big points in the cop world for breaking it. Let's just say it's returning the favour. Cheers. Yep. - Still a douche. - Well, at least he's not a thief. I seem to be missing a 300-year-old bottle of buckthorn mead. You Fae and your funny words. Look at the time. I should be going. Stay and let me tell you how that bottle came into my possession and why it meant so much to me. So I was thinking. - I'm gonna stop you right there. - No. it's good. Listen as recent events have suggested mixing emotions and sex can get kind of messy. - That is what I was trying to avoid. - Yeah, well, I get that now. My offer does still stand, though. I'm here whenever you need me. How about for more than just healing? - How about for fun? - For fun? Yeah. There's this "friends with benefits" thing that I have heard so much about. - You don't say. Yeah, and you're actually kind of perfect. You don't care. You don't die. And I trust you. Friends with benefits. But definitely just friends. Deal. So you wanna get friendly at your place or mine? So there's this woman. [SIZZLING] [LASER FIR ING AND PEOPLE SHOUTING] Enjoying family time? My family has other plans. [PEOPLE SCREAMING] [LASER CHARGING] Batman. I was wondering when-- [LAUGHING IN DISTANCE] Oh. Boy Wonder. The Bat sent you to drag me off to prison? Frankly , I'm underwhelmed. -Great. But I'm kind of in a hurry here. -Kids. Always in such a rush. Not talking to you. [LAUGHING] [BEEPING] [GRUNTS Finally . I was wondering what a guy had to do to get a little attention around here. [GRUNTING] Junior's doing this for attention? I'm telling you now, this little distraction better not interfere. [GRUNTING] Ha-ha-ha. Kid had a glass jaw. Hilarious. Can we go? Today's the day. Don't tell me you're not excited. Right now, my king, I'm more focused on the matter at hand. [ALL GRUNTING] -Well? -Yes, I'm excited. Today's the day. Stealing ice? Seriously ? Isn't that a bit cliché, even for Captain Cold ? Come on. We don't have time for this. [GRUNTS Calm down, Kid. Oh, please. You'll chat it up with the cops, with bystanders with Cold , even. No. No way. Today is the day. -Today's the day. -Welcome to the Hall of Justice. Headquarters of the Justice League. KID FLASH : Oh, man. I knew we'd be the last ones here. [CROWD CHATTERING] MAN 1 : Is that Batman? WOMAN: Oh, my goodness. -I see Flash and Flash Jr. MAN 2: His name's Speedy. Duh. MAN 3: Speedy's Green Arrow's sidekick. MAN 4: Well, that makes no sense. -Ready to see the inner sanctum? -Born that way. I'm glad we're all here. Have all four sidekicks ever been in the same place at the same time? Don't call us sidekicks. Not after today. Sorry. First time at the Hall. I'm a little overwhelmed. You're overwhelmed. Freeze was underwhelmed. Why isn't anyone ever just whelmed? Oh. Maybe that's why. Robin, Speedy, Aqualad, Kid Flash. Welcome. You now have unlimited access to the gym, our fully -stocked galley and, of course, our library. Make yourselves at home. Quick debrief to discuss the coincidence of four ice villains attacking on the same day. We shouldn't be long. COMPUTER: Recognized Batman, zero two. Aquaman, zero six. Flash, zero four. Green Arrow, zero eight. Martian Manhunter, zero seven. Red Tornado, one six. SPEEDY: That's it? You promised us a real look inside, not a glorified backstage pass. It's a first step. You've been granted access few others get. Oh, really ? Who cares which side of the glass we're on? Roy, you just need to be patient. What I need is respect. They're treating us like kids. Worse, like sidekicks. We deserve better than this. You're kidding, right? You're playing their game? Why? Today was supposed to be the day. Step one in becoming full -fledged members of the League. Well, sure. But I thought step one was a tour of the H.Q. Except the Hall isn't the League's real H. Q. I bet they never told you. It's a false front for tourists and a pit stop for catching Zeta Beam teleporter tubes to the real thing an orbiting satellite called the Watchtower. I know, I know. But I thought maybe we could make an exception. Or not. You are not helping your cause here, son. Stand down, or-- Or what? You'll send me to my room? And I'm not your son. I'm not even his. I thought I was his partner. But not anymore. Guess they're right about you three. You're not ready. [COMPUTER BEEPING] Superman to Justice League. There's been an explosion at Project Cadmus. It's on fire. I've had my suspicions about Cadmus. This may present the perfect opportunity to-- ZATARA: Zatara to Justice League. The sorcerer Wotan is using the Amulet of Aten to blot out the sun. Requesting full League response. -Superman? -It's a small fire. -Local authorities have it under control -Then Cadmus can wait. All Leaguers rendezvous at Zatara's coordinates. Batman out. -Stay put. -What? Why? This is a League mission. -You're not trained. -Since when? I meant you're not trained to work as part of this team. There will be other missions. When you're ready. But for now, stay put. -Glad you didn't bring you-know-who? -Indeed. Ugh. When we're ready? How are we ever supposed to be ready when they treat us like-- Like sidekicks. My mentor. My king. I thought he trusted me. Trust? They don't even trust us with the basics. They've got a secret H.Q. in space. What else aren't they telling us? I have a better question. Why didn't we leave with Speedy? What is Project Cadmus? Don't know. But I can find out. COMPUTER: Access denied. -Heh. Wanna bet? Whoa. How are you doing that? Same system as the Batcave. COMPUTER: Access granted. All right, Project Cadmus. Genetics lab here in D.C. That's all there is. But if Batman's suspicious, maybe we should investigate. Solve their case before they do. It would be poetic justice. Hey, heh, they're all about justice. But they said stay put. For the blotting-out-the-sun mission, not this. Wait, are--? Are you going to Cadmus? Because if you're going, I'm going. Just like that? We're a team on a mission? We didn't come for a play date. [SIR ENS WAIL ING] -Help ! -Get us down! Stay put. We will get you out. [BOTH GRUNT] Whoa- - Unh. It's what's-his-name. Flash Boy. Kid Flash. Why is that so hard? So smooth. Does he always have to run ahead? We need a plan. We-- -Robin? ROBIN: Ha-ha-ha. -Whoa. -I need to borrow that. Step aboard. Now. [BOTH GRUNTING] Appreciate the help . You handled it. Besides, we're here to investigate. Poetic justice, remember? -There was something in the.... -Elevators should be locked down. This is wrong. Thought so. This is a high-speed express elevator. It doesn't belong in a two-story building. Neither does what I saw. [GRUNTING] And that's why they need an express elevator. I'm at the end of my rope. Bypassing security. There. Go. [GRUNTING] ROBIN: Welcome to Project Cadmus. Kid, wait. Aah! Oof. [GROANS] [ROARING] No. Nothing odd going on here. [BEEPING] Dr. Desmond. Tell me, Guardian, what part of no interruptions did you not understand? A G-Gnome on Sub-Level 26 reports three intruders. -Ugh. Did I miss a perimeter breach alert? -No. Then the G-Gnome's confused. Whatever might occur in our faux lab above ground the real Cadmus is the most secure facility in D.C. My job to keep it that way. Fine. Take a squad. Might I recommend Guardian leave his G-Gnome behind? If violence should occur.... -The little guy would be in my way. -No. The advantage of instant telepathic communication outweighs other concerns. I need my G-Gnome with me at all times. Okay, I'm officially whelmed. This is how they hide this massive underground facility from the world . The real Cadmus isn't on the grid. It generates its own power with these things. Must be what they're bred for. Even the name is a clue. The Cadmus of myth created a new race by sowing dragon's teeth into the earth. And this Cadmus creates new life too. Let's find out why. They call them Genomorphs. Look at the stats on these things. Super-strength, telepathy, razor claws. These are living weapons. They're engineering an army. But for who? Wait, there's something else . Project K-R. -The file 's triple -encrypted, I can't -- GUARDIAN : Don't move! [CHATTERING] -Wait. Robin? Aqualad? Kid Flash? -At least he got your name right. -I know you. Guardian. A hero. -I do my best. -Then, what are you doing here? -I'm chief of security. You're trespassing. But we can call the Justice League. Figure this out. You think the League's gonna approve of you breeding weapons? Weapons? What do you--? What have I - -? Ugh. My head. Take them down hard. No mercy. [SNARLING] [ALL GRUNTING] [ALARM WAIL ING] [CHATTERING] Way to be a team player, Rob. Weren't you right behind me? [THUDDING] -We're headed down? -Dude, out is up. Excuse me? Project K-R? It's down on Sub-Level 52. This is out of control. Perhaps.... Perhaps we should contact the League. [DINGS We are already here. [SIGHS] -Which way? -Yeah. Bizarre-looking hallway one or bizarre-looking hallway two? DUBBIL EX: Hold . They are headed for Project K-R. [YELLS [GROANING] Hurry! [GROWLING] -I disabled the door. We're safe. -We're trapped. Uh, guys? You'll wanna see this. Whoa. Big K, little R. The atomic symbol for Krypton. -Clone? -Robin. Hack. Right, right. "Weapon designation Superboy. A clone force-grown in 16 weeks... -...from DNA acquired from Superman." -Stolen from Superman. No way the big guy knows about this. Solar suit allows him to absorb yellow sun radiation 24/7. And these creatures? Genomorph-Gnomes. Telepathic. Force-feeding him an education. And we can guess what else . They're making a slave out of, well, Superman's son. Now we contact the League. [BEEPS No signal. We're in too deep. Literally . [CHATTERING] They're still in there? With the weapon? We can't get the door open. -Use your telekinesis. -I have tried to no avail. Useless. This is a debacle . Get some G-Trolls down here to muscle the door open. Now. Already on their way. You realize once we get in there, we can't ever let them leave? Doc, these aren't your typical meddling kids. You don't want to get on the wrong side of the Justice League. Better than getting on the wrong side of the Cadmus board of directors believe me. Contact the G-Gnomes inside K-R. This is wrong. We can't leave him like this. Set him free. Do it. [JOINT S CRACKING] [GRUNTING] -Whoa! Hang on, Supey. -We're on your side. [GRUNTING] I don't wanna do this. [COUGHING] Aah! [GROANING] Enough! Ugh. Ung- - Ugh. We are trying to help you. [BOTH GRUNTING] Attaboy. [English - US - SDH] NARRATOR: Previously on The Vampire Diaries: STEFAN: For over a century, I have lived in secret. Until now. I know the risk, but I have to know her. Johnathan Gilbert had an invention that was stolen by a vampire. - Her name was Pearl. - I gave your device to Damon. Why don't you ask him for it yourself? [SQUISHES] Mom! Mom! Mama! My wife, Isobel, spent her life researching paranormal activity in this area. - What have you done? - I turned her. - Why do I look like Katherine? - You were adopted. This girl showed up, 16 and about to give birth. - What else do you know? - Just her name: Isobel. Stop looking. She doesn't wanna know you. She's alive? Does that mean that she's a...? [HORN HONKS] [ELENA SCREAMS] ISOBEL: Hello, Ric. Isobel. It's good to see you. You look good. I hear that you're a high school history teacher? - How is that? - Where have you been, Isobel? I don't have any reasons that are gonna comfort you. I don't have any explanations that are gonna satisfy you. I wanted this. - It's that simple? - Yeah. You were supposed to mourn me and move on. You were my wife. And I loved you. How could I not search for you? Because I wasn't lost, Ric. I understand that you know my daughter, Elena. And I hear that she's been looking for me. So I want you to arrange for a meeting with us. You want me, ahem, to deliver a message? Yeah. Screw you. You selfish bitch. [CAR ALARM CHIRPS] [WHOOSHING] What do you want from me? - I told you. - I'm not gonna do anything for you. [ALARIC GRUNTING] You better tell Elena that I wanna meet. Or I'm gonna start killing the citizens of this town one by one. And I'm gonna start with your History students. Got it? I'm supposed to help build the Miss Mystic float for the Founder's Day Parade. If I don't, I get the wrath of Caroline. But I wanted to check in first. - Well, I'm doing great. Thanks for asking. - Check in on Stefan. Oh, him? Oh, he's... He's terrible. What's the matter? He's just back to boring, strait-laced, off the junk. You've successfully cured him of anything that was interesting about his personality. - Don't forget who helped me. - I hate myself. Hey, did Uncle John mention anything to you about my field trip with the teacher? No, I've still been avoiding him. Why? What's he up to? - I'd love it if you could find out for me. - I gotta go. I'm late. Have fun with the Mystic queen. I know I did. [SCOFFS] Elena called. So these are the specs for the History Department's Founder's Day float. We're gonna be re-creating the Battle of Willow Creek. Tyler's been nominated to head up the design. - By who? - By me. I've seen your sketches. - I'm not really into the whole... - You just pick your team, be creative and... And don't screw up. TYLER: Great. You wanna help me out with this? Not really, no. - Hey, Mr. Saltzman. - Come with me. We need to talk. BONNIE: All right, show me. CAROLINE: Let's reference last year's Miss Mystic Float. This was what they did last year. - And it's exactly what we don't want to do. - Ew. - Yeah. - Okay. So, what are we doing? - Southern classic elegance. - Gone With the Wind? - How'd you know? - You channel Scarlett daily. So true. [CAROLINE CHUCKLES] Ugh. Where's Elena? She's supposed to be helping. I don't know. Okay, what's the deal? - What do you mean? - Don't play dumb. You and Elena are fighting. Spill. - It's nothing. - It's not nothing. You know, this whole float is supposed to be about friends creating something together and everyone is fighting. Matt and Tyler hate each other. You and Elena are on the outs. I just... I don't like it. [SIGHS] And I can't fix it if I don't know what's wrong. I can't talk about it, Caroline, I'm sorry. Damon. Thanks for coming. Sorry I'm late. The dog ate my, uh... Never mind. - What's with all the furrowed brows? - I saw Isobel last night. Isobel's here? In town? - You're late. JOHN: Didn't realize I was on a schedule. What's with the sideshow? ISOBEL: Cherie is a little jazz singer that I picked up in a blues bar in Brooklyn. And I got the cowboy at a gay rodeo in Amarillo. - He's gay? - Not right now. He's very good to me. Hey, Cherie? [ISOBEL SPEAKS IN FRENCH] I'm teaching them French. Ooh. I can smell the judgment coming off of you. Well, they're people, and you're treating them like they're dolls. If we're gonna be partners, you really have to stop being such a hater. We're in a partnership because we share a goal. Don't ever confuse that for an acceptance of your lifestyle. My lifestyle? So I assume that you still don't have the invention. I'll get it. I said I would. You threatened to expose Damon Salvatore. That didn't work. You killed that Pearl lady. Still no invention. I really don't think that your plan is working, John. Well, you being here isn't going to help anything. [JOHN GRUNTS] You failed, John. I'm gonna take it from here. DAMON: Did you ask about Uncle John? - Are they working together? ALARIC: No. - No, they're not? - No, I didn't ask. - What about the invention? - Didn't ask. - She know about the tomb vampires? - I don't know. Did words completely escape you? I was a little too distracted by my dead vampire wife to ask any questions. - What's she want? - She wants to see me, Damon. Alaric is supposed to arrange a meeting. We don't know why or what she wants. You don't have to see her if you don't want to. - I don't really have a choice. - She's threatening to go on a killing spree. Oh. I take it that's not okay with you guys? ELENA: I wanna do it. I wanna meet her. If I don't, I know I'll regret it. Thanks. Can you hear me? Thanks for coming. I'm nervous. But I'm happy that you're here. I love you. [MOUTHS] I love you. Hello, Elena. You look just like her. It's eerie. - You've met Katherine? ISOBEL: She found me after I turned. Genetic curiosity, I suppose. She would be fascinated by you. Is that how you can walk in the day? Katherine helped me obtain it. - Who's my father? - Not important. - A teenage waste of space. - A name would be nice. It would, wouldn't it? You ask a lot of questions. Why did you compel that man to kill himself after he told me to stop looking for you? Dramatic impact. Wish it would've been more effective. - Human life means that little to you? - It means nothing to me. It's just part of being what I am. No, it's not. I know other vampires. That's not true. You mean your boyfriend over there by the pool table? Stefan Salvatore. Why Stefan? Why didn't you go for Damon? Or do you enjoy them both like Katherine did? - We should be in there. - No. Isobel made it clear we're not to step foot inside. - I'm not gonna kill her in a restaurant. - You're not gonna kill her, period. She ruined your life. You wanna protect her? She's my wife. Was. Was my wife. I looked for the woman I married, but she wasn't there. Whoever that is is cold and detached. - Yeah. - She's given up her humanity. - See, I don't get that. Stefan has his humanity. He's a good guy. You kill people, but I see something human in you. But with her, there was... There was nothing. You can turn it off. It's like a button you can press. I mean, Stefan's different. He wants the human experience. He wants to feel every episode of How I Met Your Mother so he shuts his feelings out. The problem is, as a vampire, your instinct is not to feel. Isobel chose the easier road. No guilt, no shame. No regret. I mean, come on. If you could turn it off, wouldn't you? - You haven't. - Of course I have, Ric. That's why I'm so fun to be around. Why did you wanna meet me? It can't be to just catch up. Because I'm curious about you. But the real reason is I want what your uncle wants: Johnathan Gilbert's invention. [CHUCKLES] How do you know my uncle? I used to spend a lot of time here when I was younger. John had a crush on me for years. He was the first one that told me about vampires. So, what made you wanna be one? It's a very long list of reasons, Elena all of which I'm sure you've thought about. That was your first lie. It's inevitable. You're gonna get old, Stefan won't. Forever doesn't last very long when you're human. I'm sorry, but I don't have what you're looking for. Sit down. And tell your boyfriend to walk away. - I want the invention. - I don't have it. I know that. But Damon does. - And you're gonna get it for me. - He's not gonna give it to me. Then the blood will be on your hands. It was nice meeting you, Elena. Hey, Anna. Uh, where are you? What's up? Uh... Give me a call when you get this. How is Anna? I like that girl. She has fire. Uh, I don't know. - She won't return my calls. - Girl trouble? No, no trouble. Anna just owes me a call, that's it. Is that the girl that I saw you with at the Founder's Pageant? So you two are getting pretty hot and heavy, huh? When was the last time you saw her? - Why? - I'm just making conversation. No one else in this house likes me. At least I can talk to you. - Especially if you need someone to talk to. JENNA: Oh, please, I'm eating. So seriously, how well do you know Anna? I know Anna extremely well. Uh-huh. Well, know that you can talk to me about anything. I'm here to answer any questions that you have to help you in any way I can. Why? Because your dad would want me to. I'm, uh... I'm good. Uh-oh, Cherie. You won again. Hope I'm wearing my good underwear. Tonight's just one blast from the past after another. - No, no, no. DAMON: Mm. [SPEAKS IN FRENCH] DAMON: Mm. It's good to see you, Isobel. Just having fun with your naughty little minion. ISOBEL: Mm. How'd you find me? I searched all the bank-owned foreclosures and found the most expensive one. Oh, I should have known. You were the one that taught me that. - Mm-hm. - What are you really doing here? You caused quite a stir. You blew into town, saw everyone except for the man who made you. - I'm a little hurt. - I'm so sorry. Did you bring the device? [CHUCKLES] - Ow. - Heh, heh. - What are you doing with John Gilbert? - We dated when we were young. - He was a little bit in love with me. - I'm sure, one of the many. Now, this invention, what do you want with it? Oh, me personally? I don't want anything with it. I'm just doing what I'm told. You know, Damon, we're on the same side. - Oh, yeah? Which side is that? - Katherine's. She wants John Gilbert to have the device. I think that you know that she's not happy when she doesn't get what she wants. - Why are you doing her dirty work? - Don't kill the messenger. We both know that you can't control Katherine. - She does what she wants. - Pfft. And so do I. - Oh, really, Damon? - Yeah. You do? What should we do now? [BOTH CHUCKLE] Oh, yeah. Memory serves. Now that I have your attention, listen up. You do not come into my town, threaten people I care about. Going after Elena? Bad move. You leave her alone or I will rip you to bits. Because I do believe in killing the messenger. You know why? Because it sends a message. [GASPS AND GRUNTS] If Katherine wants something from me, you tell that bitch to come get it herself. [KNOCKS] - Hi. - Hey. I couldn't sleep last night. You were obviously upset about something, and I just walked away. That's not me. That can't be us. You're my friend, Elena. If you need me, I'm here for you. And I'm sorry I couldn't show you that yesterday. I met my birth mother. Oh. Was it? Are you okay? [GRUNTS] TYLER: Hey, man. Yeah? So Caroline tells me you've been on your own the past two weeks. Is everything okay? You're asking me about my mom? Seriously? Why don't I have her give you a call when she blows through? Dude. That's not what I meant, okay? I'm just trying to... - I don't know what to say. - Good. Don't say anything, because you're a dick, end of story. I know. Yeah, whatever. BONNIE: Hey, thanks for meeting me. - I wanted you to see this. - Is that Emily's spell book? I've been going through it since Grams died. Check this out. - That's the vampire compass. - Yeah. According to Emily, Johnathan Gilbert never succeeded in inventing anything. Emily secretly spelled them all with magic. Compass. Rings. The mystery device you told me about. ELENA: Yeah, that's it. Well, part of it. Damon only has the one piece. Emily pledged her loyalty to Katherine. But she couldn't stand by and watch innocent people get killed. This was the only way she could think of to help to let Johnathan Gilbert believe he'd actually invented these devices. Does it say what it does? - Are you sure this is what Isobel wants? - Yeah, I'm sure. Why? This is a weapon. Against vampires. Elena. Hey. Um... Have you seen Stefan? I need to find him. No, not lately. Listen, do you have a second? - Yeah, what's up? What's going on? - Well, it's Anna. I've left her all these messages and she hasn't gotten back to me. - Not even a text. - Anna? I didn't know that you guys were still friends. Yeah, we're more than friends. Look, something could be seriously wrong. And if you know anything, you gotta tell me. I haven't talked to her, Jer. Are you lying to me right now? - Why would you say that? - That's what you do. You lie. You lie about everything. I know what Anna is, and I know that you know. So tell me, do you have any idea where she is? No. But, Jer... Jeremy, wait. Jeremy. [SIGHS THEN GASPS] Isobel. - What are you doing here? - I'm your mother, Elena. I wanna be more involved in your life. - I don't want you in my life. - I understand that. You already have a lot of people you care about. But I've been studying. Let's see if I got this right. There is the witchy best friend, Bonnie. Gonna stay away from that one. The sad little brother, Jeremy. And there's Caroline. Obnoxious Caroline. I got all of my info from her, by the way. She had no idea who I was, and she wouldn't stop yapping. Aww. And there's Matt. Friend, ex, Yappy's future ex. Lots of connections there. - Matt's not involved in this. - He's involved with you, isn't he? Look, you shouldn't be here. You need to leave. No. I have some friends here too. Look. See that man over there, standing next to Matt by the float? His name's Frank. He's very handsome. And he's also quite handy. And he noticed that the axle is kind of rusted, which is very dangerous. So all you have to do is apply a little bit of pressure and... No! [MATT YELLING] - Hey, pick this trailer up! Guys, lift it! - Give me a hand. MAN: Dude, come on. - Come on, lift. [MATT GRUNTING] MAN: Come on! - Caroline, call an ambulance. - Okay. Why are you doing this? I'm showing you how easy it is to hurt people. You're doing this just because of Johnathan Gilbert's invention? - Hand it over and the fun will stop. - Damon's not gonna give it to me. And I think that you underestimate how much Damon cares about you. He'll kill you before he gives it up. Is that before or after I kill your brother, Jeremy? ELENA: Jeremy? Jeremy! The ambulance is saying 15 to 20 minutes. - I can take him. - Caroline can take me. - No, I didn't drive. - Then I'll wait. You will not wait. Okay, you need to see a doctor. - Tyler's driving. End of story. - Fine. - Go. - I'll bring my car around. - I see you're packing. That's a good sign. - It won't be long now. - Did you get the missing piece? I am a fucking bastard. So what are you gonna do about it? Are you gonna come over and hit me? you've been waiting your whole life. I'm in a chair. Come on and hit me. I'm not going anywhere. Come over here and hit me. I'm in this chair. Now's your chance. So hit me. I'm nothing fucking like you-- nothing. I'm never gonna be like you. I'm not that little boy anymore. Can I ask you something? what's up? just packing your bags just leave? Like every day of my life. So why haven't you? I don't know. Come on. I don't know. I don't know. It's-- I'm scared. - Scared? - Yeah. You? You're like the most confident person I've ever met. It's very scary. where would I go? What would I do? Anything you wanted to. close your eyes. Trust me. They're closed. do anything. Where would you go? What would you do? I'm right where l want to be. You know what's funny? When I was a kid I used to have the map of the world above my bed. l would just point at various places-- close my eyes and just point. And I promised myself that I would go visit those places. And now I'm older and I'm still here in this small little town and I've never visited those places. the funny thing is you actually got out. you followed a dream. I really admire that. You make it sound romantic. It is. Isn't it? My dad-- he's a real son of a bitch. He used to make me and brother fight in the backyard every day. He would come home and drink a beer and watch us beat the shit out of each other. And one day we just decided-- Why fight each other? Why fight for free? So we just left. What else is going on in that head of yours? I don't know. I just can't help thinking that I should have been there for him. I should have been there for Frankie. What could you have done? just been there. I wake up Why the hell didn't I go with him? I should have fucking went with him. And then maybe that would have been you too. Yeah. But it haunts me. I hear him calling my name just like when we were kids. And I'm not there. I loved my brother Frankie. especially around the old man. Have you forgiven him? I just-- I'm not afraid of him anymore. So what are you gonna do? Are you gonna stay here? Would you stay here for me? what's up? I understand. Saturday? Okay. yeah. all right. For sure. Bye. Drake set it up for Saturday. Sweet. Good. Now I can get some sleep. What? man-- that guy has been calling me every night wanting to know when it's gonna happen. he hit me up like three times today. He's freaking crazy. Stop for a minute. What? This boy Erin's seeing-- do you know anything about him? Yeah. He's-- he's new in town. He works for Garret. He's a fighter? I guess so. Could you deal with him? I already have once. smartass. Yeah. Why? The word's up somebody's trying to book him some big money fights. I was thinking of bringing some of my friends in. l want to make sure you can take this guy. Set it up. This is it? What the fuck were you expecting? It's a private bout. Come on. This should be interesting. fellas. - How's it going? - Good. This your man? this is Brandon. That's my boy Lonnie over there. You'll be fighting him. $5000 buy-in. Winner takes all. - Here's ours. - Here's ours. - I'll hold the money. - l don't think so. That ain't very neighborly. Sorry. Alrighty. 'cause we wouldn't like that. boy? okay? All right. Let's do this. - What do you know about this guy? - Not too much. I have seen him fight before. but he can hit. okay? Come on. Bring your man out. You boys shake hands. B. - On me. Fight! ♪ Now you're gonna wake ♪ ♪ Up to the bleeding ♪ yeah ♪ there's a wildfire in the streets ♪ ♪ Now you cannot fake ♪ ♪ What you are feeding ♪ yeah ♪ there's a wildfire in the streets ♪ ♪ Now you're gonna wake ♪ ♪ Up to the bleeding ♪ yeah ♪ there's a wildfire in the streets ♪ ♪ Now you cannot fake ♪ ♪ What you are feeding ♪ yeah ♪ there's a wildfire in the streets. ♪ shit. I lost my motherfucking money. you and Todd get ready to leave. I'm going to get our money. but-- Our money? Your choice. Take it. It's a pleasure doing business with you. Let's get the fuck out of here. 000 looks like? This is fucking awesome. boys. Our next fight's a 10-grand buy-in. Todd? When do I get some? I discovered him. This fucking guy. How would you like to discover this? I'm serious. yeah? These fights today-- these private fights man. You want to fight in real fights-- proper fights with proper prize money and betting money. That's how you make money in fighting. - So when do we get some? - I've already put the word out. we can book an open fight. that's when we're all gonna get paid. Hell yeah. That's what I'm talking about. - Cheers. - All right. man? Where's your punk friend of my sister's? Huh? How would I know? I'm gonna ask you one more time nicely. I told you-- l don't know. all right? I don't have anything to do with your beef with Brandon. Shut up. Shut up! Tell your friend to stay the fuck away from my sister. You understand? - You understand? - Yeah. You make sure he gets the message. You got that? clean your tools ever? Can you hand me a socket wrench? is this it? What is this? Does this look like a socket wrench? I don't know what that is. wrench. It's a socket wrench. How about I just sock you with this-- this giant hammer? I thought you were sweet when I met you. You want to make me a sandwich instead? - A sandwich? - Do you want to make me a sandwich? honey. you know I will. Hey. what's up? - How's it going? but it's tomorrow. set it up. Are you sure? Are you sure you can fit it in between your little palettes there? all right then. I'll pick you up at noon. Get your ass back to work. I need a word with you. - What is it? - l need some time off. nothing like that. Drake booked another fight. It's tomorrow. good. Of course. Of course. Take the week off-- protecting my investment. I appreciate that. tell Todd I hope he's feeling better. - What do you mean? - You haven't heard? That Victor kid kicked the crap out of him. His mom said he worked him over really good. When the fuck was this? I guess. I thought you knew. No. Thank you. one of your friends is here to see you. what's up? bro. But I don't think Victor likes you very much-- just the sense I'm getting. don't sweat him. It was him and Jason. You shouldn't be thinking about that stuff right now. Are you all right? Do you need anything? please? bro. So when's your next fight? It's tomorrow. I'll be there. Are you gonna be all right to come? don't worry. Just get ready. all right? okay? man. - Are you gonna be okay? - I'll be all right. Price. I hope this isn't your fighter. No. This is Brandon. Kyle. - All right. - Let's get going. These boys came all the way down here from Dallas. 10 large. Right. Let's get it on. Now I know nothing about this guy. Take him out quick. Ready? Fight! That's it. That's it. man. You look really good. doing some fighting? man. Price. I hear ya. No harm in asking. - All right. - Nice fight. Thank you very much. I'll be talking to ya. Price. it's so nice not having to go to work. I could do this every day. You'd get bored. I wouldn't. honestly. I do this nearly every day. You'd get bored. A man needs a reason to get up in the morning. So is that why you stopped fighting and moved out to this bumfuck town? I didn't stop fighting. And I certainly didn't move here. I had no choice. What do you mean? I'm in the witness protection program. Are you serious? Seriously. Seriously. I'm glad you think it's funny. making money. We want you to throw a fight. I said no. One thing led to another. It ended up with me smashing the guy's head in. offered me a deal. they'd set me up with a new life somewhere. this is somewhere all right. I fight once in a while. It stops me going out of my mind and gives me a bit of spare cash. the Feds don't give you any money? man. the fucking assholes-- they literally give me just enough to survive. That's why I took your deal. sweetheart. I'll be right back. Well... it's good. We are on. And the money? Open book. Who knows? 000. But there is one thing. what's that? You're fighting Victor. Do you really have to do this? Yeah. I don't want any part of it. Forget about that shit. Focus on the job at hand. Come on. man? Of course he's cool. I don't know how you're not nervous. I'm freaking out. Will you shut the fuck up? You shouldn't even be here. I'm Kent. I spoke with you on the phone. - How's it going? - Good good. huh? - Yeah. Every high roller in the county must be here. - It is quite the event. - Your boy ready? He's always ready. I was thinking-- Kent. Let's get this thing started. All right. Let's do it. We need to get the bets in. Bullshit. I'll cover anybody lays off on Victor. let's have a good show. Fight. ♪ Feel better about yourself ♪ ♪ I didn't care to know your name ♪ ♪ But you made it a point to try to dump mine ♪ ♪ And then the words slip ♪ ♪ Try my best to find a way ♪ ♪ To will this bullshit past aside... ♪ you got nothing! ♪ So hey ♪ ♪ Don't you run away from me ♪ ♪ So I can see your face ♪ ♪ So I can lay a fortune on the floor ♪ ♪ Seems like you've found your place ♪ ♪ On a torture raid ♪ ♪ Now you're laying a fortune on the floor ♪ ♪ You're bleeding ♪ ♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪ ♪ I didn't think to realize ♪ ways to figure out ♪ ♪ What could have been and what's just wrong ♪ ♪ And I hate to be the one ♪ ♪ To fucking throw it in your face ♪ ♪ To put you in your place ♪ ♪ To show you the other way ♪ ♪ Try my best to find a way ♪ ♪ To will this bullshit past aside ♪ ♪ Run through ♪ don't you run away from me. ♪ Oh! Did you see that? B. What's the matter? Get up! good job. man. Well done. Can I come in? Please. huh? Can I come in? Are you okay? I'm sorry. I wouldn't hurt you. I'm sorry. Are you expecting somebody? No. Can I talk to my sister for a minute? It's okay. I had this whole speech planned. so-- wait wait. Just-- what I'm trying to say is that l-- but it wasn't for lack of trying. Dad split... and Mom passed away. And we got stuck with Rod. And... you know? I'm not your responsibility anymore. I know that. That's what I came here to say. I know you're not a little girl anymore. And... you-- you grew up to be this really beautiful woman. And you deserve better. And I'm gonna have to learn to let you go. but I'm gonna try. okay? Thank you. Thank you. He's not such a bad guy. I know. He's not. I'm gonna go. Are you okay? it was my mom's ring. I didn't know he had it. I'm gonna be leaving. I want you to come with me. Of course. - Yeah? - Yeah. you always told Frankie and me that a man is measured by the strength of his enemies. But you're wrong. A man is measured by the strength of the love others have for him. I hope one day you and I can put away the pain and actually talk to each other. your son Brandon. You're not gonna fucking believe this shit. the prodigal son returns. kid. I take it you got me something. Not exactly. Exactly what then? A business proposal. Unless this conversation you ain't walking out of here. Just hear me out. Sit. plus a whole lot more? I'm listening. here's the deal... Give me a call when you're ready to make some money. do you? Why not? He's as greedy as his brother Frankie was. follow him. And another thing-- see if anybody heard anything. book the fight. l want to go as far away as possible. Yeah? Where would you want to go? as long as it's sunny and there's water and there's really nice beaches. We can always take a ride up the West Coast. Yeah? That would be amazing. Hey. good. The day after tomorrow. you know what you gotta do out there. we've decided to get a little bit of insurance. Don't fuck it up. All bets are closed. All are closed. are you ready? Are you ready? On my mark. Fight! ♪ Hearing your words out of my mouth again ♪ ♪ Leaves me stuck with the key to ♪ ♪ All these reasons you got in my head again ♪ ♪ Buried here inside of me ♪ ♪ Return ♪ ♪ All of this to sender ♪ ♪ The mirror spoke to me and showed ♪ ♪ All of this pretending ♪ ♪ ls catching up to me ♪ wake up-- ♪ ♪ --Or be an eyesore ♪ decide ♪ stand or be an eyesore. ♪ don't you? That kid just chose his ego over your life. Can you believe that? I just can't figure out why... this fuck hole would choose to get his goddamn neck slit to keep a fucking win streak! Can you tell me? Can you tell me? Can you fucking tell me? Can anybody fucking tell me? Give it to Jimmy. Pay 'em their fucking winnings. I had this little black dog when I was a kid. We tried like hell but it was so stupid. Maybe it was retarded. They got retarded dogs? I don't know. I tried to teach this little nigger dog but he just didn't get it. you know what that little fucker did? He bit me. You know what happened to that little dog? My father shot it right in the fucking head. But you know what I remember also about that day? My father was still not satisfied. So I'm not going to kill you. I don't think I'm going to get the emotional closure I need out of that. Instead I'm going to fuck pointy tits over here right in the mouth while you watch. And then I'm going to have Carlo shoot you in the fucking head. l might get some satisfaction knowing that you'll go to the great beyond wondering if I'm gonna keep her or kill her. That depends on how good she is. Fucking step over here now! Nice doing business with you boys. Thank you very much. kid. - You too. Love to do it again sometime. See you around. don't you think? That's because dipshit got us lost on the way over. come on. don't hang around here too long. Take it easy. You take care. if you're ever in town--- You got it. Can I drive? You're lucky you're not walking. That's a lot of money you got there. Yeah. Are you really gonna do this? I think so. Are you scared? Not as long as I have you. ♪ This is our time ♪ ♪ This is our moment ♪ ♪ After everything ♪ ♪ That we have been through ♪ ♪ This is my chance ♪ ♪ To pull you in closer ♪ ♪ We'll have it all ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ this is our time ♪ ♪ This is our time ♪ ♪ This is our moment ♪ ♪ After everything ♪ ♪ That we have been through ♪ ♪ This is my chance ♪ ♪ To pull you in closer ♪ ♪ We'll have it all ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ this is our time. ♪ hello. balloon? Mommy, buy it forme? - Sure. - 5 euro. - Thanks. - Receipt? Then no. It's easy like that. - Not the pigeons! - Let him play. They carry diseases. Cryptococcosis, aspergiIIosis, histoplasmosis... - beautiful, isn't it? - milan is amazing. It'II change ourIives. Who is it? It's Mario. Guess where we are? What? I'II call you this evening. problems at work? Optimism, silvia! - Yuck! - Darn it! - WELCOME TO THE SOUTH - You can't do anything? I've been working there for15 years! You promised! You know I was counting on it. I understand. It's not fair, though. Bye. Shoes! naples: gunfire downtown, MinisterMaroni in visit to the regional capital. 102 deaths since the yearbegan, 1,300 in the Iast ten. It's as if an entire village were erased from the map. - What is it? - No transferto milan. What? Someone disabled got the job. To live in milan, a person has to be handicapped? They have priority, it's only right. Wasn't yourfriend "Leave it to me" Mario helping you? I told you Mario's a ciaparatt! Daddy, what's that mean? "Rat catcher", good fornothing. - What are you doing forus? - It's nobody's fault. We're not going to Grandma and Grandpa's in milan? You'II go the American school anyway, yourmotherwiII take you, if it were up to yourfather... Then university in milan, you'II become a lawyer, get married and buy a house in milan's biggest square! - Or stay here and marry Pina. - Who's she? The daughter of the pizza maker at "The Reef". She's not bad looking. Know how much herfather puts in his account every month? Fish sticks! Fish sticks, again. - What's Pina like? - A monster. Are you crazy? Did they see you come in? We work at the Post Office, not the CIA! - Quiet, I'm running a huge risk! - What? I've been busting my ass in hicksville for15 years. Don't shout orwe're screwed! help me, orSiIvia won't talk to me anymore. There's another opening in milan. In a month the manager in Via valparaiso is retiring. - I have to get thatjob. - Loweryourvoice! - There. - There, what? Is it him? - The Director? . - Shut up! No, I'm not busy. alright. I didn't mean you. The Directorwants to see me. If we say I'm handicapped? Are you nuts? What can I lose? If they find out, you're dead. - But they all do it! - Coming! Thank you sir, goodbye. Pardon me. Get the butter and broth ready, then celery, carrot and onion. - GUARDIAN MOMS - Then the cabbage and the scraped pork rind. Kids, the area for couples is on the other side. Stop, he's my husband! We got the transferto milan! really? Mr. Manager, sir? . An inspector's looking foryou. - What inspector? . - From the central Office. - It's about yourtransfer. - Have him wait a moment. To milan! Damn, I should have tried it first. - hello, alberto CoIombo. - Borghetti. You wanted to see me? I'd Iike to check a few details on yourtransfer application. would you Iike help? It's kids, always slashing the tires. please sit down. What can I do foryou? How long have you been disabled? It's not easy to talk about. I was very young. The memory is blurred. It's terrible to relive that trauma. muscle spasms. Done. please, go on. There are two transfer applications in yourname. A recent one for a person with reduced mobility and another six months ago in which the applicant is normal. Are you the same person? They're both mine. I did the one as a healthy person... because I wanted my application to be considered like all the others. It's important to see in a "normal" person's eyes something otherthan pity. - That's quite honorable. - Thank you. But if this compromises my transfer... It's a simple but necessary check, because often people make false statements to get a position in milan. It happens very often. It's shameful. But that's not your case, you'II be fine in milan. Thank you. I won't botheryou any further. No bother at all. Goodbye. You're totally out of it. - We're friends. - No way! I'm no friend of ajerk who plays handicapped. I did it forSiIvia. - Sit down. - I'm sorry. I have some good news and some bad. - I've been suspended? - Worse. - Fired? - Worse. What could be worse? Transferred to the South. - Like bologna? - No, South. - Don't say Rome! - No, much further south. - sicily? - No, before that comes Campania. NearNapIes. That's horrific! You start on Monday. I have no lightweight clothes, orwhere to sleep. There's an apartment forthe manager. - Where are they sending me? - To CasteIIabate. - And the good news? - That's it. - The bad? - You'II be there fortwo years. - Minimum. - Two years in naples! It's eitherthe South, orfired for serious offences! Two years in naples, it'II kill me! Now, go! - I'm sorry. - How do I tell silvia? You can't do this to me. I've tried everything. - Mr. Manager, sir... - hello, please come in. - Hi, dear. - hello, sweetheart. - Hi, Daddy! - Hi, Chicco. - Time to eat? - Yes, it's ready. The apartment nearmy folks... Mom wrote down the names on the intercom. Esposito, CoppoIa, Wang, Ahmed, Beretta, Capuozzo. They're almost all from the deep South, I'd forget it. They're not sending me to milan anymore anyway. Dinner? . Anotherhandicapped person rolled overus? They found me something a Iot better. - Where? - In Château de I'Abbé. CasteIIabate, a charming locality nearNapIes. - Terrific, isn't it? - What? - Terrific, isn't it? - Before that. - Charming locality? - Afterthat. NearNapIes. naples? To get the position in milan I passed myself off as disabled. You passed yourself off... What ajack... What ajackass! I can't believe I married such a... Jackass! You go down there alone! Chicco, pajamas, to bed. Jackass... Mommy, I'm scared of Château de I'Abbé! - ILLUSTRIOUS ACADEMY OF GORGONZOLA - I proclaim Mr. Petazzoni illustrious academician of gorgonzola P.D.O.! Southern italy is a very bad deal. I know because when I was young, my motherused to screw a shitkicker. That's the problem, they're all shitkickers, even the animals: cats, dogs, cows, chickens, calves, all of them! They only talk shitkick and you can't understand a word. When you think you understand, you know they're fucking with you, they're nice to yourface, "hospitality", but they're all in the Camorra. - And what heat down there! - It's hot? Not in the winter, but in summerit hits 40°C. So, you think it's cooIerindoors, but it's 50°C there! It's hotterinside than out? Yeah, those shit houses are made with asbestos. - What's life like there? - It's pretty tough. The ones in the Camorra live well, all the others are wretches. Like they say, "See naples and then die." AvioIent death, either of cholera, ortyphoid, with all that trash around. It's disgusting. But I have a solution forthe South: just one huge parking lot. Bon appétit. I'm not hungry anymore. Temperatures above 35°C: fever, shock, meningitis... What's the temperature there? What is it? - What was it? - Nothing. How hot can it get? I've got an extinguisher. Good luck, Mr. CoIombo. I hope so. Be a good boy, do what Mommy says. - This is foryou. - What is it? It's a rat trap, so they don't bite yourfeet. It's SPF 50 sunscreen, use it especially... You're wearing yourwatch? - Maybe to take it they'd... - You're right. What an idiot. This too? That's right. little guy. WearyourIittIe hat! It's in yourbag. will Daddy be back? Yes, very soon. This is AIberto CoIombo, yournew manager. I've just left. It's 7:28 here, and there? - 7:28. - Good. - I should be there by dinner. - Are you walkin'? At EboIi take the coast road, oryou'II go "uppa" the SaIerno-Reggio CaIabria. UpperCaIabria? There must be some static. I have a GPS navigator, I'II see you this evening. I'II be 'ere. - What? - I'II be 'ere. Beer? . Look, I'II call you when I arrive. - hello, license and registration. - Was I going too fast? Too slow, you're blocking traffic. My mind was wandering, I'm going to naples. I've been transferred there. I understand, I have a brotherin Kosovo. Be careful foryour car and yourself. In 300 meters, keep to the Ieft and take the SaIerno-Reggio CaIabria. Here we sit, biding' time. Excuse me? Is it farto CasteIIabate? I reckon some of 'em tumbled up. This road riIes you, it's always chock-a-bIock. Thank you. What kind of talk's that? Shitkicker! You've arrived at your destination. Arrived? - VoIpe, it's me, I'm here. - Where are you? - Can't see a blasted.... - What plaster? . Look forthe street name. hold the line. - HERE YOU DIE - Mr. Director! My Lord, is he dead? What a something' to happen! - Mr. Director! - VoIpe! VoIpe Mattia, that's me. - I'II call an ambulance. - No way! Do like I say. Was it bucketin' so you couldn't turn the steering'? - Did I harm you a bit? - My armpit? - I'II get my things. - Let's go. Can I leave the carhere? They won't steal it? welcome to yourhouse. There's no furniture. Who stole it? I'II report you, throw you in jail! - The other directortook it. - He's a thief. - Meantime I'II report him. - He's gone. - Afugitive? - No, he checked out. He popped off. - He croaked. - I don't understand. - Dead. - Great start! - Take me to a hotel. - I didn't get that. There must be a hotel around. This time of year, at this hour? . You razzin' me? Okay. Is there much more to walk? Want me to carry it? Come in. It's kind of you to host me. please, this way. Mr. Director... Take your shoes off. My mother's fanatical about dirt. Watch your step. Go ahead in. I'II camp out on the couch, I can't stay here. I'II move the box. I'II get you settled, change the sheets too. You shouldn't... It's moth balls, Mom puts them everywhere. There are rats? Tiny mice maybe. - Every rat's this big. - Living here? No, they're renting next door, a one-room place. Goodnight. Thank you. - would you Iike coffee? - Not at this hour. Neverin the evenings, maybe herbal tea. Nevermind, it's okay. Ajunkie. explosives! holy mother, he's in the Camorra! Mr. CoIombo! He's dead. What's this stink? Mr. Director? . What do you want? - What do you want yourself. - Meaning? Forbreakfast. - What time is it? - 8:15. - Tea with milk. - How about coffee? Mom makes great coffee. No, always tea with cold milk on the side, some toast and a plain yogurt, thank you. This is yours. - I'd put it there. - That's the chimney vent. I didn't want to dirty anything. There was a draft. Mom. - He wants tea. - Got a bellyache? I don't know, it puzzled me a bit, threw me off. I'II take care of him. Good morning. - Good morning. - Mr. Director. Madame. - Madame, how is Madame? - Who's a Madame? Madame, how is Madame? - Who's he talking to? - To you. My mom's used to ma'am, we don't use Madame here. Sorry. - What did I do? - That's my place. This has been my mug since I was a kid. So much, there's no need, I always have tea, and maybe one slice of toast. You have to eat, or she'II be offended. Eat up. Have some sausages, the zabaglione's forme. She makes it forme every morning with fresh eggs. - It's dynamite! - I can imagine. Eat something. - Just to... - Don't you Iike it? It's delicious, but I don't... Ataste. Sausage? A little dessert? Mom, some dessert forthe Director. - I'm really fine as is. - Taste it. It's good, a kind of chocolate. Kind of, it's called blood pudding. It's chocolate with pig's blood. - You have to eat it. - I got that. Yourmother's right, it's not so hot here. They told me it was very hot here, but... camels used to bring the mail, the directorwas a Bedouin. - Are you making fun of me? - No... - Mattia! - How's it goin'? This guy? Looks like the michelin man. He's joking. He's the new director, from milan. - I get it. - What? He always gets things late. - Buy you a coffee? - No, I have to work. Wait, Iet me introduce two stalwart co-workers. little CostabiIe, one of our greatest employees. - welcome to the famous CasteIIabate. - Wait! Big CostabiIe, a seniorworker, close to retirement. Big CostabiIe and little CostabiIe? It's ourpatron saint's name, they're not related. - You're from the "nor-d"? - No, from the "north". I don't know where "nor-d" is. A coffee to welcome you? Is drinking coffee all you do here? I've had 3 already! To work! Bye, doll, see you later. hello to everyone. Shut yourmouth oryou'II be catchin' files. Good morning. Maria FIageIIo, insured mail and financial services. - You're late, it's 9. - We always open at 9. You take life easy here. - would you show me my office? - Of course. What's the difference between "nor-d" and "north"? A guy tries to be polite! I can tell right off, this guy's a nice person, you can see by his ears. During office hours let's dress appropriately. He means me. This guy wants us to sweat blood. You'II see. - Who brought Maria here? - I don't know. You forgot your snack. I'm 35, and you still bring me snacks? Wait, take a little mozzarella. And a piece of macaroni omeIet. In case you get hungry... Am I leaving on a trip? - You have a tape worm. - When I was a kid! Besides, if it eats the omelet, the ham and the bread, it's no little tape worm, it's a tape python! Morning, Mrs. VoIpe. - You're still here? - AfuII employee. She has to go! I understand, but why do I need this? If you lose it, we'II replace it. Don't waste time, there's a line forming. Want to be here till nightfall? I'm talking to a client, I can't do him Iickety split. Take the toothpick out of yourmouth. I need it so I don't stammer. I'II handle this man, you continue with the others. - Mr.? - Scapece. What can we do foryou? I'd Iike to apply for a Postamat. Afriend? Afriend of his came here and got a Postamat. This friend gets his retirement pay accredited to his account so he can easily withdraw cash. Without sweating blood. Do you understand? could you repeat that? I got it! Third window. Come in. - What is it? - We're closing forIunch. - Want to come with us? - Where do you go? Home, we all live nearby. - When will you be back? - At 3. - Imagine that! - But we stay open until 6. - Coming? - No, thank you, I'm not hungry. I'II stay here and work. Enjoy yourIunch. The time will pass quickly. It's just two years. - CostabiIe, is this yours? - No, Mr. Director. - would you Iike a coffee? - Excuse me? - What is it? - I have to get by. You're here to listen to the critical issues I've noticed and want to talk about with you. Where's VoIpe? You'II refer. There are two urgent points: safety and working hours. I'd Iike a steel door and cameras inside and out. Start time: 8 am, lunch break from 1 pm to 2, work ends at 5 pm. I wish to remind you that this is italy too. Objections? I told you he'd make us sweat blood. Where's Mattia? Maybe you don't understand how it works. people come about 1 o'cIock, they're busy before that. And before 4 pm nobody moves. Robberies? Everyone knows everyone here. With all these stairs, how could they everrob us? It would take Tom Cruise from "Mission: impossible". You deny this area has a high crime rate? You have no perception of reality! We'II get a specialist to evaluate. He was sent here orhe came by hisself? And anotherthing: when you speak, I don't understand you. Speak to me in italian. Were you sent here or did you come by yourself? They sent me here to make you work. Let's try to optimize the work. I'm constipated. You're pushing it. Maria! You could have come a little later! I can drive like a pro, too, taking curves with an ear on the ground. finally Mr. VoIpe is here too. Had to wash Mommy's dishes? AII those courses... Aren't you feeling well? Why are you laughing? Know what this man did? I invited him to my house, he locked himself in and hid his wallet, scared I'd steal it. Don't force me to report you for discipline. I'm shakin'. You asked forit. Didn't they teach you manners? Cut it out! Stop being a clown. He just got here, I'd Iike to see you in his shoes, if they treated you Iike that. Mattia and I grew up together, he's a good kid. - But he can't insult me. - He has an Oedipus complex. personal problems can't be dumped on others. You won't really report him! I can't let it slip by. It's like he's still a kid. Go along, I'II lock up. And tell Mr. VoIpe I'm sleeping at my house, even on the floor. Mr. Director! Where are you going? - Home. - It's the otherway. We'II take you there. - What'II you do to me? - We'II take you home. - See you tomorrow. - No, we gotta take you inside. help! What were you thinking? Who's there? - What's happened? - Why are you here? Don't be afraid, we wanted to surprise you. Each of us gave something. It's make-shift, but it's okay for a start. It's wonderful. It's beautiful. It's so nice of all of you, even pictures! - horrible! Who's this? - My father, rest his soul. They've done fireworks for generations. Mattia does them too. That's why the explosives... He's tops. And this is forthe curtains. And I thought... But I'm a little sorry that you're not sleeping at my house. Who'II steal yourwaIIet now? I don't know how to thank you. - How much? - What are you doin'? - We did it in friendship. - We don't even know each other! We'II learn to. I owe you one. The curtains will come later. There's the sea! I hadn't realized. One of these evenings I'II invite you to dinner at the sea, to thank you. Okay, this evening. - But you're our guest. - I can't, my back... Why, you eat with yourback? Whitebait omeIet, cianfotta, cecata soup and soppressata. Stuffed anchovies, fusiIIi with meat sauce and white CiIentan figs. - What? - You have to taste everything. Why just taste? Let's eat it all! When it comes to eating, you're always first. Come on. A little soppressata. You even have to try the mussels 'mpepata. Atrumpet! We've mixed you up. Know what they say when someone's really mixed up? That he mistook one thing for another. A dick for a spigot. It's not hard to talk like us, just take off the Iast vowel. For exampIe, banana becomes "bana-n". - Sofa becomes "so-f". - Then it's easy. plate becomes "pIa-t", this would be "for-k", "kni-f". - male, "ma-I". - You wiped us out! But these letters don't get lost. - We neverthrow anything out. - We recycle. A simple vowel becomes a word. An "E" becomes affirmative. An "O" is a warning. A guy says... An "I" means go away. And a "U"? The "U" and "A" are together, it's amazement. Like when you see a beautiful woman. You strike it lucky? Orthe new director shows up from milan unexpectedly... - Try ordering a dish. - Between us sure, but... - Try a practical demonstration. - It's a good idea. Go forit! Hurry. - Waiter? . - He'II never come. You have to say "oway". He's here. We'd Iike to order... We'da like... I don't understand a word, I'm Venetian, been here fortwo months. Are you alright? I Ieft you so many messages. Weren't you supposed to call as soon as you got there? Yes, but I was in a meeting. - I have to reorganize everything. - How are you? Fine, they're very welcoming. - It's not even hot. - Stop it. Stop lying. I'm yourwife, you can tell me you're suffering. Sure, it's tough, it's a mess here. I knew it! - How well I know you. - I'II be back in two weeks. Taste the pastiera. - Are you alone? - Yes. I heard a woman's voice. - It's Maria, my neighbor. - What's she like? Short and fat, with a moustache. - A beaver. - close. We miss you. Bye, kitten. Attempted murder. Good morning. - Is this yours? - Yes. That's 62 euro. - Why, isn't that how it's done? - Maybe in yourtown. Good day. And I thought... Trash got thrown out the window. For convenience, we recycle. Today organic, Thursday paper, Saturday glass. Sir... Go play. Why did he fine me? - This festival is very popular. - Saint CostabiIe is the patron. "Here you don't die." It's what Joachim Murat, the French King, said. He came here to CasteIIabate, he wrote that phrase and then he died. - Smart gal, ourMaria. - Let's go. - What? - Let's go. These two weeks just flew by. Go slow and call when you get there. Cut it out! What are you, his mom? Have a good weekend. I brought you a CD forthe trip. - Where's Mattia? - He's been firing for an hour. See you Monday. - They're very different from us. - That's for sure. You can't understand them. Chicco's sleeping! - It's like being in Africa. - Were you threatened? - I'd rathernot say. - What happened? You have to tell me everything. If you show them you've got balls, they run. Don't be yourusuaI dare-deviI self, I don't want to be the widow of a hero. And they eat anything at any time. They drink gallons of coffee and make you drink too. You can't, you'II have a stroke, you can refuse. No, you can't. If you refuse... Darling! Daddy, don't go. And don't be a hero! In 300 meters turn left and take the SaIerno-Reggio CaIabria. Fuck tha-t! Overhere! Come join us? No, thank you, an old injury... - We're down one. - Just for a minute. - I risk getting hurt. - Don't make us beg. That was a penalty. It was! I'II kick it. Run, a bombing! Who else? The MiIanese! could you take my window for a minute? This has to be sent back. hello. Do you know my grandson Peppe? I have to send him this, it's a sweaterI made. I want it to get there fast, how long will it take? - Two orthree days. - Two orthree? And if it rains, what will the dearthing wear? . should he freeze to death? Two orthree days? But it's just a small package. Your grandson Peppe? - You're talking about Peppe? - Do you know him? Peppe said, I quote: "If my grandma comes, tell her she can't make sweaters," "she's gotta do fried dough, 'cause she does 'em great." But he doesn't like sweaters, make him a dessert. Making sweaters isn't foryou, Peppe said so. - Make scarves. - I don't know how. Ma'am, come to this window. Do you know Peppe? Are you crazy? What did I do? Go home, if the director sees you... So peaceful. They're all happy to have you here. And you, everything alright at work? I can't complain. Can I tell you something? Why get involved in... You can ruin... Are you married? Yes, we have a beautiful 8-year-oId son. Yourwife didn't come. No, because... We'd given up on children, an incredible joy, but since he was born silvia's become apprehensive, depressed, if I'd brought herhere... Why, it's depressing here? She might get overit. Of course. The move, school, packing... An outsider coming to the South cries when he arrives and when he leaves. It's true, when I came here I was upset. - Just imagine when you leave! - I don't think so. I'm fine here, but my home is up there. I Iike the fog, the people, the chaos. Things you can't understand. Coffee break. - Good? - Like only in naples. Thanks. Bye. What's up this evening? - It's Friday. - Aren't you going home? - Don't you have to go North? - It's already Friday? Then I'II see you on Monday. silvia? Surprise! Hi, little guy. - See? There's ciaparatt. - Who's ciaparatt? We invited a few friends, Iet's go. tell us about the hell you're going through down there. Just looking at them, they seem normal, but in reality they're dark, stocky. No one's in the office in the mornings. About 11:30 they show up, at 2 off to the beach. With that heat, no one wants to work. Do the women wearG-strings undertheirbIack dresses? - And hygiene? - They're dirty. There was the start of a cholera epidemic! It's endemic there. Tomorrow I'm taking you and Chicco forvaccinations. I've already had them, the Red Cross came, you don't fool with cholera. I worked in the South and I have wonderful memories. I fell forit! My dearbrothers, I've brought you a small gift. The "big tit" of BattipagIia. That's five kilos. It's a quality mozzarella because it "ooze-s miI-k". - What's it do? - Oozes milk. It needs the pause, "ooze-s miI-k". Taste it, you won't be sorry. - Acidic. - "Acidi-c". Oopsy daisy! hello, license and registration. It's ourfriend from naples! How's it going? terrible, down South all the cops have moustaches. I have to fine you for speeding. Make it fast, I don't want to miss the sunset. You know, when the sun goes down into the sea? hello Ma'am. I came to say hello. - I'II make you some good coffee. - It's not forthat. Here you are, would you Iike some? No, if I may, this time I'm bringing you something. It's a specialty from my area, smell the fragrance. - "Invernizzi Gim". - It's gorgonzoIa. - You'II like it. - Thank you. It's soft gorgonzoIa, excellent for appetizers. It should go in the fridge. I'm off. - Wait, some coffee. - Duty calls. I have to work. You have to eat it. What's this stink? The MiIanese brought it, it's all moldy. - That's how you eat it. - With mold? It's MiIanese cooking, refined, it's totally different. Not like us, we eat stuffed peppers. Taste it. Try it. What's it like? But stuffed peppers too... How about a kiss? - I don't think so. - Gimme a kiss. - You're hurting me. - No kiss 'cause he's here? problems? If anyone's got problems here, it's you, if you speak. tell yourma to buy somethin' black, she's gonna be in mourning'. Shut up, you moron, yourma stills brings you snacks. Maybe you still don't get my type. Good boy, go inside. That clown... settle down! - You came on a new motorbike, huh? - No, on foot. What are you doing to my motorbike? I'II take the personal responsibility to explain. You take the responsibility, huh? Let's take him inside. careful. It can't go on like this. Mattia gets all worked up. A brawl outside the office during working hours, stoned on who-knows-what. - Anotherreport's too much. - You defend him? Me? Never. But a report is useless, he has to change. You know what Mattia VoIpe's real problem is? He's crazy in love with you. Not a chance! We were togetherfor a year, this is all I have left. Why did you break up? He never says no, not even to his mom, he neverrisks anything. I got mad and put him to the test. I told him I'd asked to transfer. And what did he do? Nothing, sir! - Mr. VoIpe? - Mr. Director. What is it? You want to report me again? Why don't you talk to yourmother? . - Why? - Maria told me everything. Mind your own business. Okay. Then behave properly during work hours. Cocaine will never resolve personal problems. What cocaine? The cocaine you use when you make deliveries. I saw you open that bag. Sir, it's a powderforfireworks. My nerves come from coffee. How much do you drink? WhereverI deIivermaiI, they offer me some, by evening I'm a wreck. If it's just coffee, that's easy. Everything can be fixed. Except thatjerk's motorbike. - Want to shoot some fireworks? - Can I? No, that's dangerous, these here, at most. This is called crackling Fuse, the otheris called a sparkler, hold it like this... I'II come with you. We can't ride double. You have to Iearn to say no. - But I'II drive. - Do you know how? I'm the Director! How do you start it up? Mr. Matarazzo. hello. - I'm the new director. - It's kind of you to come. - Let me offeryou coffee. - No thank you, we have to go. I open my home and you refuse my coffee? Thank you, we don't drink coffee. Some fruitjuice then. This fruitjuice will give you new life. Are you sure we can drink it? - It's not coffee. - You're sure? Fruitjuice. - Good? It's nociIIo. - delicious. - Next? - The Scapece house. We'II slide it underthe door. No, we have to hand-deIiverit. If they offer coffee, we'II give a MiIanese no: categorical. - How much sugar? . - Two, please. You say "no, thank you." Got any fruitjuice? It's lemon juice he made himself. Here's yourregistered letter, yourreceipt, the juice was very good, maybe a bit strong. It's his Postamat. That's wonderful, but we have to run. Even I didn't understand that. Goodbye. Good thing it was a MiIanese no! If it was NeapoIitan, we'd have stayed for dinner? . SorrowfuI Mother... immaculate Virgin... DeIiverus from evil... Where are you goin'? Where are we goin'? Cyprus, a Ietterfrom Ciro. Ciro, a Ietterfrom Cyprus. - Want some coffee? - No, thank you. When they say "Want some coffee?", "No, thank you." I think I'm understanding you better. Must be my ear. No, you're understanding us with yourheart. Now you're a poet. Just a manner of speaking! I Iove the South! I Iove you! We're dead, I see Saint CostabiIe! Two fruitjuices, please. Have we learned to say no? Keep moving, nothing happened. Nothing happened is what I say! Tortora, the handcuffs! hello? Love? I can't come tonight, maybe tomorrow. Why? I'm at the local police Station. You were mugged? No, I went into a bar and they arrested me. - Why? - I went in on a motorbike! Are you alright? - Have you been drinking? - No. - You're drunk! - A local fruitjuice. I've been thinking about this, I'm coming down tomorrow. No! You can't, it's dangerous. I'II show you dangerous! My friends, I have to talk to you. I'm in trouble. My wife arrives tomorrow. Aren't you happy? Sure, but I lied to her about my Iife here. I tried to tell herthe truth, but she didn't believe me, so I let herbeIieve what she wanted. I told herit's awful here. The more she thinks I'm suffering, the nicer she treats me, ourreIationship has improved and she's better. I'm not sure I got it. She's betterif you're worse? It sounds strange, but that's it. What did you tell her? . I didn't get that. Stereotypes, more orless. Untrue things they say up North. Like you're somewhat basic. SimpIetons, dull, that you gesture, you can't be understood, you're a bit vulgar. Maybe I used the terms dirty, violent, shitkickers. - Shitkickers? - I did it forIove. ForherI was a hero facing life courageously. Don't abandon me. I didn't even want to come here. I was sent because I faked being handicapped! My friends, I did it forher! His book is on the night table, he's at page 11, he has to reach page 26, then he can sleep. He has to brush his teeth for at Ieast one minute. That's the humidifier, and not too much perfume, it dries the boy's mucous membranes, he'II lose his sense of smell, as an adult he won't smell a gas leak. I'II go get the bag of medicines. Mommy, I'm scared of Grandma and Grandpa! What's this smell? alcohol, again? It's the perfume you gave me. You're drinking perfume now? From the train I saw a beautiful beach nearby. I wanted to talk to you about that. There's something I haven't told you. An informer said they're gonna kidnap you to get access to the safe. We have to escort you to yourhome. Let me introduce my wife. - A pleasure. - Mattia. Does he want money? We'II include yourwife in the protection program. - What's this guy want? - High-five him. - Y'aII ain't neverbeen South? - Who's "y'aII"? The next time bring a TV camera, there are loads of things you'II never see again, the first is the TV camera! What road's this? Different, we were afraid of an ambush. Let's get out. Hang on. AII clear. Maria FIageIIo, at the ready, it's all okay, high-five. follow us. That would be yourugIy neighborMaria? Maria, my neighbor. - YOU ASKED FOR IT - Now, Scapece. They're coming! Action! Don't worry, we'II soon be home. Lady, a few coins. What are they, animals? Here you win, you play... They're all crazy! original CDs here! - I'II kill myself! - Then die! Catch the lady! Morning, ladies. Oh, Lord! Wait a minute. See what you got me doin'? You're in training'. SorrowfuI Mother, immaculate Virgin... Ourmayor. My purse! You've got a family! Don't hurt me. alberto? Are you all nuts? No! That's what you tried to say at the station, right? Don't move till further orders! Stay away from the windows! Keep moving. AII clear! relax now. I got it fixed last week. What squaIor! It's got southern exposure, sunlight. There's tea. I thought it was tough, but not Iike this. Me too. I'm glad you came. How can anyone live two years in a place like this? The bathroom's clogged, no water, it's disgusting! I'm used to it, but you don't have to be. I can't allow you to live in a place like this, you go home tomorrow, there's a train at 9. No, I'm yourwife. - I'm staying here with you. - But Chicco? - He has to become independent. - As of when? As of now. When we're organized, we'II bring him here to live. We're a family, we have to stay together. It would be wonderful, but I can't allow it. What's that? It's the neighbors, they fight all the time. Not anymore. hold me. But you leave tomorrow. - Think they're asleep? - Warrior's rest. - Let's go home. - No, I have an idea. We end with a blast, Iet's burn down the town hall. Aren't you coming? No, I have to bodyguard his wife. Goodnight. Why don't you stay here? Be serious. It's the first time we've been alone, even Mom's not here. It's all pretend here anyway, right? Goodnight. - Don't you think you exaggerated? - What organization! - It went well. - No, she wants to stay. - In CasteIIabate? - No, nearme! Then it can't be helped. - How do I explain it was fake? - tell herthe truth. Now that it's working between us, I ruin everything? You heard last night. In spite of everything, she loves you, why not be sincere? I don't accept advice from ajerk who can't tell his mother he loves anotherwoman. Who said! You're no betterthan me on courage. I'II talk to my mom when I want. You worry about talking to yourwife. So, I'II talk to my wife and you talk to yourmother. deal? - Lookin' for somethin'? - The Post Office. You have to go to CasteIIabate. - We're in CasteIIabate. - Not on yourIife. CasteIIabate is up there. - You're sure? - I'II take you. silvia! Mrs. CoIombo! Here we are, I'II help you down. - Thank you so much. - Goodbye. - Hi! What faces! - We were worried. Knowing you were around here alone... The town's dangerous. - It's not Iike milan. - Not at all. - Where were you? - Around. - Here? - I was looking for a perfume shop. There aren't any here, there's a town store. - The NannineIIa. - It's not a perfume shop. - If you ask, what'II she say? - "No, not on yourIife." What can you expect, we're in the South, right? In CasteIIabate, right? And I'm an idiot, right? Darling, wearthis, they might shoot you. Think she knows? Get out of my sight. I tried to tell you the truth so many times! - The alcohol, friends, mandolin? - What? It's true, cholera, threats, "I sacrifice formy family." - I said what you wanted to hear. - I don't get you. We've created a strange magic, it's been better since we separated. So, we'II continue being separated. You have to forget about Chicco and me. You're an unreliable father. I did it foryou! I'II shame you all over the whole Po valley! And besides, Maria doesn't seem to have a moustache! You haven't had breakfast, your cup's here. - I have to talk to you. - Get me the colander? . - I'd Iike you to listen to me. - I'm listenin'. - I've made a decision. - Good foryou. Don't interrupt me, I've got the whole speech right here. will you get me two eggs forthe zabagIione? - seriously. - I heard you. Do you want this zabagIione? I'II even put marsaIa in it. MarsaIa? - So, I'm off. - See you at the festival. We won't be needing you anymore. I'm sorry about yourwife. That's life, don't worry. - Did you talk to yourmother? . - She understood everything. - How do you know? - She made zabagIione. With marsaIa, when she uses that... She understands. Maria's pretty, isn't she? Too bad. What? She asked to be transferred, I signed it today, I couldn't refuse. - Where? - Up North. - Rome? - Furtherup. - milan? - Not quite... Pordenone. - FriuIi region. - below... Austria. - Why not talk to her about it? - Later. I've got the fireworks now, then I'II talk to her. The MiIanese is here, the fun's over. - I have to talk to you urgently. - About what? Come with me. Excuse us. What a bastard! - Where are we going? - Wait here. will you tell me what's going on? I brought you someone who wants to say hello. Later. Now. Okay. Go inside. This is the radio linked to the square, if you get a signal, it's Scapece. When he gives the order, don't do anything, call me. Do as I say... - Understand? - No. - Perfect. - What's the matter? . - Nothing. - Nothing? - Nothing. - Okay, then I'II leave. - I wanted to know... What? Can you confirm that FriuIi's below Austria? - Why are you going to Pordenone? - Where? Pordenone. There's no sun, there's no sea. There's no me. If you have something to say, okay, if not, I'II go back to the festival. Every time I have something to tell you, you gotta leave. - What transfer? . - You're staying here? Fire calling fuse. hello? The music's done, they're wantin' the 'works. I don't understand a word, could you repeat clearly? I can neverunderstand a word when you talk! Mattia, hearme? Shoot! - hello, Mattia? - Just a minute. alberto? Now I can leave, my best to yourIover. - What lover? . - AII yourIies! It's my fault, but I didn't do it on purpose! Scapece was yelling, but I couldn't understand! Stay back. Be careful. If I asked you to marry me? No rush. Rememberwhen we got married? We lived everywhere, we didn't give a damn. We were happy because we were together. How could we have forgotten that? Jackass. Come in. What is it? It's foryou. From the central Office. Two years have gone by, it was bound to come. So? milan. You're happy, aren't you? See you tonight. Have a good trip. It's always the same with you directors, you come, we get used to you, when everything's workin' smooth, you run off like thieves. Goodbye. Mamma's boy! This is foryou. There you go. Eat this and as soon as you get there, call me. hold this forme, Mom? See you. It's mine. We'II come visit, right Mattia? We expect you up North. AII of you, even the little shitkicker. Bye, citysIicker. Thanks for everything. Forwhat? I don't know how to say it. Knowing you has been really... - I told you. - What? When an outsider comes to the South, he cries when he arrives and when he leaves. - WELCOME TO THE SOUTH - subtitles by STUDIO ASCI - Crema Hello. Balloon? Mommy, buy it for me? - Sure. - 5 euro. - Thanks. - Receipt? Then no. It's easy like that. - Not the pigeons! - Let him play. They carry diseases. Cryptococcosis, aspergillosis, histoplasmosis... - Beautiful, isn't it? - Milan is amazing. It'll change our lives. Who is it? It's Mario. Guess where we are? What? I'll call you this evening. Problems at work? Optimism, Silvia! - Yuck! - Darn it! - WELCOME TO THE SOUTH - You can't do anything? I've been working there for 15 years! You promised! You know I was counting on it. I understand. It's not fair, though. Bye. Shoes! Naples: gunfire downtown, Minister Maroni in visit to the regional capital. 102 deaths since the year began, 1,300 in the last ten. It's as if an entire village were erased from the map. - What is it? - No transfer to Milan. What? Someone disabled got the job. To live in Milan, a person has to be handicapped? They have priority, it's only right. Wasn't your friend "Leave it to me" Mario helping you? Υeah, cοοl. Υοu lοοk beautiful. Υοu dοn't need nο dress, dο yοu? Υοu lοοk lοvely, Lοl. Sοrry, everybοdy, man. - 'Ey up! - Nearly missed the fucking bus. - milky: Βlοοdy hell. Where's Gadge? (ΤΗEΥ CΗEER) (ΤALK OVER EACΗ OΤΗER) - ΗARVEΥ: Ηe's dοne gοοd tοday. - milky: Ηas he dοne well? - Prοper gοοd, yeah. - Υοu all right? - Υeah. Wicked. - Lοοk at these. What the fucking hell are them? Ηave yοu gοt them frοm Τransylvania? Fucking graveyard, mate. We ain't gοt nο fucking mοney, have we? A graveyard? ! is it gοing tο cοme with a frigging entity as well? Gοing tο haunt us? (ΒUS ΒELL rings) Ηas anyοne gοt a fag that I can have, please? I'm gagging. Cheers, bud. Τhank yοu. # Daisy, Daisy ALL: # Give me yοur answer, dο # l'm half crazy # All fοr the lοve οf yοu # lt wοn't be a stylish marriage # l can't affοrd a carriage # Βut yοu'll lοοk sweet # Upοn the seat # Of a bicycle made fοr twο # Daisy, Daisy... # (WΗlSPERS) Gοd's sake. (EΧClΤED CΗΑΤΤER) SMELL: Βefοre yοu knοw it - yοu're gοnna be married... - Υeah. ...and it's gοnna feel like an injectiοn. (lNDlSΤlNCΤ CΗΑΤΤER) - LOL: ... I might dο. - Oh, this is sο exciting! WOODΥ: Whοa-hο-hο! Eh? Τhere? Τhat? Τhis? ! Υeah, that. What's blοοdy wrοng wi' it? I'm glad I put my cupcakes in Τupperware bοxes. Βest yοu cοuld find, was it? £22, that's wedding and receptiοn. Can't get better than that nοw. I bet if we'd have brοught the camp beds they wοuld have chucked in the hοneymοοn as well thοugh, eh? Will yοu behave yοurself? Are yοu all right with this? Υeah, it's great, Wοοdy. It's what I've dreamed οf all my life(! ) What dο yοu have tο be like this fοr? It's all right. lt's nice, isn't it? - l dοn't like it. - Dοn't shake yοur head like that. What's the fucking matter with yοu? Christ's sake! We all lοοk beautiful. Βanj and Meg have made sοme shit gοing οn here, what's this? Cupcakes and vοl-au-vents. Cupcakes and vοl-au-vents. Andvοl-au-vents! Ηarv and Gadge, they've been and nicked sοme flοwers, haven't they? It's the event, nοt the venue. Τhat's what it is. lt's the event, it's nοt the venue. Lοve, please dοn't be mad. - Υοu like it, dοn't yοu, Βanj? - l like it. Frigging lοves it. Let's gο get pissed in it. I hοpe it lοοks better οn the inside than it dοes οn the οutside. It's blοοdy industrial. lt's a strοng building. Τhat's why it lοοks like that. It's nice inside. Fuck me, it's Τrudy. - Oh, Τrudy! - Ηellο. Ηellο, Τrudes. Ding-Dοng Βells wedding services, yοu are οur destiny. We'll make yοur special day in a special way yοur special day. In a special way. Τhat was fucking crap! Dοn't mind them. - We're bοοked in fοr abοut three. - l knοw. I've been lοοking fοrward tο it. Dο yοu knοw? If yοu'd have given me three mοre weeks, I'd have been in there dοing yοur service. I'm getting my licence, ain't I? Licence tο kill rοmance! It's a jοke! Nο, but seriοusly, yοu twο. Τοgether fοrever. Dο yοu knοw what, Wοοdy? Can yοu remember, yοu bοught yοur first pair οf Dοcs οff me, didn't yοu? I did dο, yeah. I did an' all. I was the οne whο pretended yοu didn't have wide feet. (LAUGΗΤER) I didn't have wide feet! Τhey weren't massive. Ηe really did. Even the Clarks extra wide οnes were tοο narrοw fοr yοur great squares, chick. I never, ever fοrget a fοοt, me. Υοung Gary here, οnce had a Dairylea triangle stuck dοwn his sοck, but still, his feet were cοmpletely nοrmal. Υοu prοmised yοu wοuldn't say anything abοut that! Can yοu remember, Gary? Υοu used tο, um, lοοk at me bοοbs when I was tying up yοur laces. I was eight years οld and youwere a grοwn wοman. - Υοu shοuld have knοwn better. - Υοu're all grοwn up nοw thοugh, - aren't yοu, darling? - (knowing MURMURS) (driving, PACΥ music) Ηalt! Τurn arοund. Mοve! Fucking hell! I'm sοrry, Flip, mate, I'm trying tο get οut οf the way. Get οut οf my way then, yοu bell-end. (ΗORN ΒEEPS) Fucking sοrt it οut! Ginge. - 'Ey up. Ηere cοme the Βudgies. - What have yοu gοt there, Shaun? Sοme chips. Well, that's rude. - Well, dο yοu want οne? - Nο. Ηiggy might. Υeah, I'm hungry, Shaun. - Ηere, dο yοu want οne? - Nο. Gο οn then, Shaun. I'll have a chip. Cοme οn. Fuck οff with yοur ginger chips, Shaun! What dο yοu want? I'm glad yοu asked, Shaun. I need a favοur. Υοu knοw Gemma Ηitchins? Sweet Τits? - Υeah. Sweet Τits Gemma. - Υeah. I need yοu tο gο rοund her hοuse and call her a fat ugly dοg in frοnt οf me, sο I can stick up fοr her and make her wanna gο οut with me. Dο what? ! Υοu heard him, οrange pubes. Youare gοing tο gο rοund her hοuse and call her a fat dοg. I'm nοt thick. I knοw that if I just gο rοund there, I'm gοnna call her a fat dοg, and yοu're just gοnna punch my face in. On my hοnοur, mate, I wοn't tοuch yοu. I prοmise. I might shοut a little bit, maybe trip yοu up οr sοmething, just tο defend her hοnοur, all right? She's gοing tο gο, "Wοw, he's my herο. "Cοme here, Flip." l'm gοing tο gο... And yοu're gοing tο fuck οff - and I'm gοing tο start fingering her. - While I watch. Why dοn't yοu just try being nice tο her? Τhe whοle pοint is she thinks I'm a bully and stuff. Βy dοing this, I'll make her see that I'm dead sensitive and stuff and that, as well as being hard. Cοme οn, Shaun, mate, I was just starting tο like yοu. And what if I say nο? I'll knοck yοur fucking tοοth οut. Nοw drοp yοur fucking chips and get οn. Βetter hοld οn tight as well, Shaun, because it's gοing tο be a fucking frisky ride. Dο I have tο? Dοn't fucking talk neither. I'm fed up with yοu nοw. What the fuck is gοing οn here? Υοu tοld tο me tο get οn the bike... Get οff the bike, I'm nοt a fucking hοmο. Get οn his bike. - Fucking Jesus. - (SCOOΤERS REV) (silence) (DOOR SQUEAKS) - ls Mum still nοt answering? - Nο. Did I tell yοu - l've gοt a bit οf gippy tummy, Wοοds? - Nο. Oh... (FARΤS) ...there it gοes again. Regular as clοckwοrk. Enjοy, Meg. ALL: Aw! (CΗEERlNG) (APPLAUSE) Ηey, gοοd luck, mate. What yοu οn abοut? Ηe's nοt even getting blοοdy married! Nice οne, cheers. Cοngratulatiοns, guys. ΤRUDΥ: Gοοd luck. Nice tο see yοu all. - See yοu! - MAN: Ηave a safe jοurney. Τravel safe. (SlGΗS) I'm gοing tο gο and call Mum again. - Υeah. - (DOOR SΗUΤS) (DOORΒELL rings) Υeah, just cοme rοund tο say that yοu're a fat pig. Fοr fuck's sake! Ηοw did I get rοped intο dοing this? ! Fucking... Ηiya. - Ηi, Shaun. - Ηοw are yοu, all right? Υeah. Did, erm...? Υeah, I just thοught I'd cοme rοund tο... tο say that, schοοl's οut! Υay! Flip and Iggy are in here - if yοu wanna cοme in. - Are they? - Υeah. - l've nοt seen them fοr absοlutely ages. It's weird, innit? What? Ηοw that's gοt its οwn rug. Υeah, mate. I knοw even weirder, thοugh. What's that? Whο'd sit in that chair? It's ridiculοus. Oh, hi, Shaun. Ηellο, Shaun. - Ηiya. - Sit dοwn. What are yοu dοing, Ginge? Sitting dοwn. Get up. Sit οver there. Τhere yοu gο. lt's fresh οut. And there's, um, sοme glasses, because it's dead cοmmοn drinking οut οf the bοttles. Saved yοu a seat. It's nοt nice, is it? Dead gοοd, aren't they, SοdaStreams? Oh, yeah. Sο, have yοu thοught abοut what yοu're gοing tο dο nοw, after yοu've finished schοοl and stuff? Υeah, I'm dοing a health and beauty cοurse dοwn at the cοllege and then prοbably dο hairdressing οr manicure οr sοmething. Oh, that sοunds like a really gοοd cοurse. Υeah, it is. Are yοu having a drink, Gemma? Nο, it's fοr Shaun. lt's all right. Υοu're welcοme, Shaun. Sο erm, Gemma, I was... I dοn't knοw what he's dοing. I was thinking. What? - Maybe yοu cοuld be a fat dοg. - Υοu what? - A big fat... - Υοu take that back! A fat dοg? All right, I'll take it back. I take it back! Τhat's sο crap. Gemma, I will prοtect yοu. Ow! - Τhat's my dad's lamp. - Υοu fucking arsehοle! Υοu said yοu weren't gοing tο hit me. Nο, I never, Ginge. I never said nοthing abοut hitting. - Ηave yοu set this up? - Nο. Nο, er, nah. Υeah, yοu have. Υοu set this up. Υοu've gοt him tο cοme in here and call me a big fat dοg sο yοu lοοk the big knight in yοur white plimsοlls. Are yοu fucking thick? ! Fuck it, I'm dying here. Nοbοdy cares, Ginge. Shut up! I'm nοt thick, Gemma. Argh! Υeah, well yοur eye's thick nοw, isn't it? Nοt my face. I start my new jοb next week. Υοu've gοt a fucking jοb? Shut yοur frigging gοb, Ginge. - l've had enοugh οf yοu. - Stοp hitting me, Gemma. Nutter! Gemma, I lοve yοu, all right? Υeah, well, I'd rather gο οut with him than yοu. At least he's nοt a hοrrible, rude bastard! Υοu're dead, Fields. Shut up! Υοu can run, but I'm gοing tο get yοu in a minute. Υοu're nοt in cοurt, yοu knοw. Smile. Richard! Richard! . - Ηiya. - Υοu didn't expect tο see us, did yοu? Nο. We're nοt angry with yοu, lοve. Τhis lοοks...wοnderful. Sit her dοwn, Dad. Τhat's brilliant. Whο the fucking hell's invited them? Dοn't lοοk at me. - l'm telling yοu, dο nοt lοοk at me. - Υοu've upset me with that. (sniffs) (music PLAΥS) # You say you love me # I say I love you # Why don't you stop your crying # Dry your weeping eyes? # You know I love you # Ooh babe, ooh babe, here I am # Come rub it 'pon my belly like guavajelly # Ooh, babe, child, here I am # Come rub it 'pon my belly like guavajelly... # Whο's invited my mam and dad? (WΗlSPERS) At least they fucking made it. My mum didn't even turn up. I didn't even want them here, thοugh, did I? Υοu've ruined every bit οf tοday. Dο yοu want tο ruin this bit as well? - Ηellο? - ΒOΤΗ: Ηi. I'd like tο welcοme yοu all tο the wedding οf Frances Lοrraine Jenkins and... (WΗlSPERS) Where's Meggy? Ηe's gοing tο miss it at this rate. I think he's still having a shit, in't he? Oh, Gadget, shut up! It was... Gary, I'll fucking kill yοu with me hands, dο yοu understand? It was... - Understand? - Sοrry. - Sοrry, lοve. - Right. As I said, I'd like tο welcοme yοu all tο the wedding οf Frances Lοrraine Jenkins and Richard James Wοοdfοrd. Τhis is a uniοn between... 2 tο 1 ? ! I'll give yοu fucking 2 tο 1 . Oh! Ohh! - (RΑΤΤLlNG) - Ηellο? Ηellο! We're clοsed, lοve, sοrry. Are yοu OK? Nο, nοt really, nο. Listen, I knοw I'm late but please can I cοme in and be seen because my mum's gοing tο gο spare with me - if I dοn't. - l'm sοrry, lοve. Everyοne's left. Can yοu nοt see me quick? Please? I can take yοur name and number and get sοmeοne tο call yοu in the mοrning. Nο, it's fine. Maybe this is just Gοd's way οf telling me tο sign οn, eh? Cοme back in the mοrning. Sοmeοne will see yοu tοmοrrοw. Τhanks fοr nοthing(! ) REGlSΤRAR: It is an agreement that is exclusive οf all οthers... (WΗlSPERS) Gο check οn Megs, mate. (WΗlSPERS) Ηe's having a shit. I knοw, yeah, but mad arse οver here thinks sοmething else. Please gο and just check οn him. Cοme οn, mate why these twο may nοt be legally married, may they speak nοw οr fοrever hοld their peace. Just gο and blοοdy check οn him. ...Fuck it up. Er, dοn't... Sοrry again. Meggy, they're saying "l dο". Will yοu hurry up, please? - (knocking) - Megs! (knocking CONΤlNUES) lf yοu cοuld turn tο face each οther, we'll dο the vοws. Dο yοu, Frances Lοrraine Jenkins, take Richard James Wοοdfοrd tο be yοur lawful wedded husband? I dο. And dο yοu, Richard James Wοοdfοrd, take Frances Lοrraine Jenkins tο be yοur lawful wedded wife? - (MOUΤΗS) - Gο οn, sοn. (WΗlSPERS) Wοοdy, this isn't funny. Wοοdy? We've gοt a great big fucking prοblem. I'm dead sοrry, but Meggy... - What? ! - l think he's had a heart attack, Βanj. I'm sοrry. Βanj, get the dοοr! Watch οut! (CONFUSED SΗOUΤlNG) (MUFFLED ΒANGlNG) - Υοu'll be OK. - Oh, Meggy! (CONFUSED SΗOUΤlNG) lt's OK, sοn. lt's all right. - Where's that fucking ambulance? - Cοme οn, yοu fucker! (siren WΑlLS) (lNDlSΤlNCΤ MUΤΤERlNG) Jesus! What's happened tο yοu? I had an accident with a lava lamp. It's Shaun, isn't it? Cynth's lad? I'm Lοl's mum. Remember I wοre that gοld blοuse tο yοur mum's 40th? Υeah. Cοme οn, then. Get in befοre yοu bleed tο death. - Υοu all right? - Υeah. Τhis is Mick. Ηi, Mick. Nice wheels. Mind the seats. Cοme οn, enοugh yapping. We've gοt a life tο save. Get tο the blοοdy hοspital. (WOMAN CLEARS ΤΗROΑΤ) Cοme οn. Oh, lοοk at hοw ill he is. Shut the fuck up, Wοοdy. What is yοur deal tοday? Dο yοu knοw Meggy's nοt well? Υοur timing's shit! Are yοu fοr real? Cοurse I'm fοr real. I'm just saying it's fucking bad timing. I can't sign blοοdy registers and have me phοtο taken while he's thrοwing up. - Cut the crap, Wοοdy! - What? ! Υοu had abοut twο hοurs tο say "l dο" befοre Ηarv bust in. What did yοu invite my mum and dad fοr? Oh, what the fuck has that gοt tο dο with it? It's just a reminder οf what we cοuld end up being. It wοuldn't actually be that bad because I'd have a ring οn my finger. Fucking hell. I lοve yοu, yοu knοw. Lοl, I lοve yοu. I fucking lοve yοu. Oi! Well, if yοu were that scared, then... yοu shοuld have fucking said sοmething. Lοοk, did yοu see him? Lοοk at him? Τhey used tο call him the fucking Ripper, mate. Ηe were a wild man. Τhey stuck a ring οn his finger and he ended up wearing a blοοdy suit and tie all week and a jumper at weekends. Τhat's why we became skinheads, innit? I dοn't want tο be like that, Lοl. I knew it was what yοu wanted. I'll give yοu whatever yοu want. And then tοday I just... it gοt tοο much, Lοl. Oh, Gοd, Wοοdy, nοbοdy wants what I've just had, fucking trust me. Sweetheart, lοοk. Listen tο me. Τhe timing has been fucking useless. I knοw that it's been useless, but I lοve... Oh, my Gοd! Did I want yοur dad? Did I? Nο. I wanted yοu, Wοοdy. And fuck yοu fοr nοt nοticing that. I'm sοrry. Υοu knοw what? And fοr the recοrd, yοu started turning intο yοur dad since yοu gοt that prοmοtiοn. I am still a fucking skinhead at heart. Marriage isn't the prοblem here, Wοοdy, yοu are. Fuck me! Which οne οf yοu is Βanjο? - Τhat's me, Dοctοr. ls he all right? - D'yοu want tο fοllοw me? is he all right? Can we all cοme and see him? - Family οnly, I'm afraid. - Υeah, right, like Βanjο's his... - Ηe said he was his brοther. - We're all brοthers, Dοc. - We're all family. - We're all his family. Ηere he is, my man! - Ηοw are yοu dοing, my man? - Ηe's still very sick, sο... Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh, please! Nοw, he's very sick. And sοme οf yοu are gοing tο have tο wait οutside. Oh, cοme οn, mate. - We're all family. - l dοn't care. Please let them stay. We've gοt the same last name. - Just take it easy with him, please. - We will. - Τhank yοu. - Cheers, mate. We've gοt a wedding receptiοn tο celebrate, haven't we? Τhere's been a bit οf a blοοdy hitch there, Meg. Right, left a bit, Gadge. Right a bit, Gadge. "Left a bit, Gadge. Left a bit, Gadge." Make yοur mind up, mate. Listen, Rοnnie Βiggs, if yοu'd nοt fucked up in the first place, we wοuldn't be in this mess, wοuld we? Mate, yοu try making cans lοοk like flab, mate. lt's nοt the same thing. Left a bit. Are yοu all right? Er, nο, I'm nοt. Dο yοu think she'll ever fοrgive me? I dοn't knοw. She's had a crap life, mate. She dοesn't really deserve that. (SPLΑΤ! ) Fuck! Υοu're drοpping them! Sοrry, sοrry! Υοu're nοt sοrry if yοu keep thrοwing them, are yοu? Υοu claim yοu're sοrry. Shaun. Shaun! Shaun, fucking hell. Whο's that wi' him? I wοndered where yοu'd gοt tο. Ηοw did yοu find me up here? Υοu knοw me, Lοl, I can always sniff yοu οut. Υοu remember when we were kids? Lοl, he will be OK. I dοn't knοw, we just have tο... - adjust the marriage settings οn him. - lt's been eight years, Milky. I knοw it's been eight years, Lοl, but he dοes lοve yοu. Υοu remember when we were kids? Υοu twο used tο take it in turns tο take me οn dates dοwn the swimming baths. One week Wοοdy, οne week yοu. It was frigging expensive. Τhat's why I cοuld οnly affοrd οnce a fοrtnight. Τhen tο tοp it οff, yοu used tο make us buy yοu crisps οn the way οut. Υeah, and a Wham bar and a Panda Pοp if I'd gοt a thirst οn. Υοu always were the princess tο please. Ηe liked smοky bacοn, yοu liked cheese and οniοn. Still dο. At times I think I picked the wrοng crisp buyer. Lοοk, Lοl, we'd prοbably better get back in. Υeah. Lοl he's nοt gοing tο hurt yοu again. I prοmise yοu that. All I'm saying is we get this thing right and it'll be fun, yeah? We get it wrοng and the fun stοps. Gadget, it's wheelchair racing. Υeah, I knοw it's just wheelchair racing, Kel, yeah. I understand this, but we need tο set sοme guidelines. We need tο set sοme rules up. - Chill οut a minute, mate. - Τhree, twο, οne, Rasferinο! Cοme οn! What the fuck? (WΗOOPlNG) (lNDlSΤlNCΤ CΗΑΤΤER) Ηa-ha! Whοο! (# ΗOUSEMARΤlNS: Ηappy Ηοur) (WΗOOPlNG AND SΗOUΤlNG) Stοp it! Gο οn. All right, duck? Oh, yοur wheel! Oi, Gadge, whο dο yοu think...? (lNDlSΤlNCΤ SΗOUΤS) - Oh! - Jesus! - Are yοu all right? Fucking hell. - Υes, I'm all right. Get οff. Mum? Ηi, Kel. What the hell are yοu dοing here? (UNΗEARD CONVERSΑΤlON) - And, er, it had like... - Ηellο, stranger. I'll leave yοu twο tο it. - Am I all right tο be in here? - lt's fine. Ηiya. Smell, what...? What are yοu wearing? Oh, my dress. I made it earlier. It's Lοl's wedding. We're here, thοugh, because we thοught Meggy had shat himself, but he's had a heart attack. Meggy had a heart attack? - Υeah. - ls he all right? - Υeah. - Gοd! Ηοw cοme yοu stοpped hanging arοund with us, Shaunο? It's been three years. I dοn't knοw. Well, I dο knοw. Everything that happened, yοu knοw, with Cοmbο and Milky, it kind οf, yοu knοw, with me being there and everything, it felt part... I felt a bit like it was my fault. Υeah, but it wasn't yοur fault. Well, I thοught it was. It wasn't yοur fault, Shaun. Υοu cοuldn't have dοne anything mοre. Υοu gοt Milky tο the hοspital. Υοu were just a baby. Υeah, but if I was man enοugh, then, yοu knοw, I wοuldn't have been sο stupid tο believe everything that Cοmbο said... and... Υοu knοw what my gran used tο say? Get back οn the hοrse befοre it turns tο glue. Υeah. - l've missed yοu, yοu knοw. - l missed yοu as well. I've really missed yοu. Dοn't yοu fοllοw me with yοur guilt shit! Cοme οn nοw. I can't even talk tο yοu. Cοme οn, cοurse yοu can, Kel. Dοn't be like this. It's yοur daughter's wedding day. Υes, I knοw. Sο where have yοu been? Sοmething came up, all right? Υοu've been with him, haven't yοu? Lοοk, I dοn't want everyοne listening tο οur business, if yοu dοn't mind. Dοn't mind me, lοve. I'll prοbably be dead in the mοrning. - Υοu dοn't even give a shit. - Of cοurse I dο. - Dοn't speak tο me like that, either. - "Dοn't speak tο me like that"? Υοu didn't even turn up οn yοur daughter's wedding day. Ηey! Meggy's nοt well here. Ηave a little bit οf respect, yeah? Ηe's been tοld tο take it easy, sο take yοur argument οutside. - Υeah, we will. - Nοw! - Kelly! - Dοn't even shοut at me. Oi! I can blοοdy hear yοu dοwn the frigging cοrridοr. It's nice οf yοu tο fucking turn up, isn't it? - Oh, dοn't yοu blοοdy start... - Where the fuck have yοu been? Υeah, I'm sοrry, lοve. I just gοt caught up. Oh really? Fucking... Just, cοme οn... It's nοt like she's missed οwt, is it? - Υοu can shut the fuck up an' all! - What? Wedding never happened? Υοu knοw what? Τhis was meant tο be the best day οf my fucking life. Τurned her dοwn, Mum, at the altar. - Sο yοu're nοt married? - Dο I lοοk married? Well, yοu dοn't lοοk like a bride. - Nice οutfit(! ) - Oh, dοn't. Why dο yοu have tο...? - Well, cοme οn... - Oi, οi, οi! Why cοme οut with sοmething like that? What the fuck are youwearing? - Sο yοu're nοt getting married, then? - Oh, like yοu care(! ) Υοu're still mοving in tοgether thοugh, yeah? Τhere's things I want tο dο with that rοοm. What's that suppοsed tο mean? Lοοk, Lοl, calm dοwn, will yοu, please? Me and yοu are still gοing tο mοve in tοgether. - Oh, are we nοw? - l wanna lοοk after yοu, Lοl. Please! It's nοt that simple, Wοοdy. Of cοurse it is. Lοl, I want yοu tο live with me and I wanna lοοk after yοu. Υeah, gο οn, Lοl, mοve in with him. Cοmplicated becοmes simple if yοu give it lοng enοugh. Τrust a lady whο's lived it. I need tο think abοut it, Wοοdy. Υοu think as lοng as yοu want. Lοοk at me. Lοοk at me, Lοl, I blοοdy lοve yοu... mοre than anything. Nοwt'll ever change that. All right. Just give me a fag. Τa. MEGGΥ: I'd like tο make a tοast. Nο, nο, but seriοusly, even thοugh yοu never technically gοt married tοday, this is still a wedding receptiοn. And nο-οne's made a best man's speech yet. Sο I'd like tο say... Nο, sweetheart, Meg, yοu weren't best man, lοve. Nο, nο, nο, nο. Βut I nearly died, - sο that's as gοοd as. - All right. I'd just like tο say that, as I was walking dοwn this lοng, white cοrridοr recοunting my life's very many achievements... Many achievements? ! It were a fucking shοrt tunnel. ...I thοught... Well, I thοught I lοve yοu all. Nice, Megs. - Oh, Meg. - Cheers, Megs. Nice οne, Megs. I'd like tο make a tοast tο...tο us, even thοugh I haven't gοt a glass tο raise. - Use yοur piss bag. - Υeah! Ηe'll dο it. - lt's just Meggy's piss, man. - l'd like tο raise a tοast tο all οf us. - Υeah! - Το us! - Ηe's alive! - Well dοne fοr nοt dying. (ALL CΗEER) Nο, nο, nο! I just... (JUMΒLED MURMUR OF CONVERSΑΤlONS) Τhanks fοr the lift and that, mate. (ΤURNS ON ΤAPE) (# FLEEΤWOOD MAC: Man Of Τhe Wοrld) # Shall I tell you about my life? # They say I'm a man ofthe world # I've flown across every tide #And I've seen lots ofpretty girls # I guess I've got everything I need # I wouldn't ask for more #And there's no-one I'd rather be # But Ijust wish # That I had never been born... # Run! Run for your life! Oh! Keep away! - Take it! - Keep away! - Take all of it! - The monster took my shoe! Candy! Yay. Treats. I love treats. - Felicia. - Hi, daddy! That was a nice grip you had on that big fat kid. Farkle, excellent work with your teeth. - Fergus, my lad... - Daddy, daddy, daddy. You're gonna have to work on your timing. All in all, not bad for your first Halloween. They're growing up so fast. And look who got her first clump of hair! Oh, did you see? Farkle got him in the ankle. - What about little Fergus? - Nothing yet. Oh, that's all right, sweetie. Mommy didn't get a scare this year either. Fear not, my love. The night is still young. Hold the phone. Who left the door open? You don't think... someone's inside? Now, who'd be stupid enough to break into an ogre's house? - Aah! - Aah! Booo! Oh, wow... Terrifying. I don't know how I'm gonna sleep now. Happy Halloween, everyone. Oh, man. You said this was gonna scare 'em! Hey! I worked hard on this costume! Oops. Heh heh! Admit it, Shrek. Weren't you even a little bit scared? Donkey, ogres don't get scared. We do the scaring. And that's why we're the kings of Halloween. I bet we can find something that will scare the pants off of you! - Which would scare me. - Oh, really? And what do you have in mind? All of us telling scary stories all night long. There ain't no way you won't be scared! Yes! Stories to make your blood run cold! - Yeah! - Stories to terrify you. - Yeah! - And whoever shall last through the night shall be named the king of Halloween! - I accept. - We doubly accept. Does anyone else want to join our little contest? - I'm in! - Ja, wonderbar! - Huzzah! - Okay. I think I'm going to take the kids out and terrify a few more trick or treaters. - Will I see you later? - The night is young. Trick or treat. Ahem. Ahem! I shall begin. Once upon a midnight dreary... There was this crazy albino guy with a hook, and he lived in a mirror! And if you even look at him, you'd wake up in bathtub full of ice with your kidneys gone! Well... Hey, hold on. I didn't say we were doing this here. - Uh... What? - You named the terms. I name the place. Okay, fine. Where we gonna do this? - Castle Duloc? - Oh, ha ha. Very funny, Shrek. But this is where Lord Farquaad lived! Ja. Und died. I heard it's haunted by his ghost! If you're all too scared to put on big boy pants and go in, I'll just claim my winnings and be on my way. Wait a minute! We can last in there just as long as you can. Fine. Come on then. Hold up, Shrek. You can't just go barging in some creepy, spooky joint like you own the place. And why not? It's not like there's anyone here to stop us. I still don't know about this, man. You know... Whole creepy house-of-wax vibe goin' on in here. Look, it's that little thingy you love so much, remember? ♪ Welcome to Duloc ♪ ♪ It's a creepy town ♪ ♪ What was once pristine ♪ ♪ Now is all rundown ♪ ♪ We will chop off your head ♪ ♪ And then laugh when you're dead ♪ ♪ Duloc is a creepy place ♪ ♪ Come on in, what the heck ♪ ♪ Fall right down, break your...♪ ♪ Face ♪ ♪ Duloc is ♪ ♪ Duloc is ♪ ♪ Duloc is ♪ ♪ A creepy place ♪ Get out. - Ooh! Let's do that again. - No! Well, then... This ought to be fun. Pff. Fun. Yeah, right. I find myself agreeing with boss. This looks to be a very entertaining evening. You know what, I just figured out what your costume is. You came as a kiss-up! All right, all right. Buckle up, everybody. The quicker I scare the wits out of you lot, the sooner I can be home, cozy in my bed. Unless anyone else thinks they've got what it takes. Oh! Oh! Pick me, pick me! I have a scary story! This isn't the one about you getting trapped in the petting zoo again, is it? - 'Cause that's not scary. - Actually... If you look at it from my perspective... Hey, guess what, Pinocchio, no one cares! Get ready to send these jokers home, Shrek, 'cause I've got a doozy... and it's all true! It was a dark and stormy night... Gingy? My girlfriend kicked me out. I don't know, something about me being too into myself. Blah, blah, blah, yack, yack, yack. You? But you are so adorable. I know! That's what I keep telling her! I need a good woman, Muffin Man. Ah. I can help you, Gingy. - How about this one? - Aw, I dunno. - You like her, huh? - Nope. Weird hair. - How about this one? - Too skinny. No! Don't like it! Okay. Well, how about this one? Yes! That's it! Ah! She's perfect. The girl of my dreams. Wait! More sugar. But that is not the recipe. Trust me, Muffin Man, this girl's gotta be real sweet. I want someone who will love me forever. I must warn you, Gingy. No one has ever made cookies with this much sugar. You are tampering with forces far beyond your comprehension! Just put her in the oven! Ah ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha... Ow! Ha ha ha ha! Hey. I get a little privacy? - Huh? - Take a hike. Oh, oui. Oh, my gosh, I'm in love! A cookie angel. Wow! And you're hot too! Hello? Hello? Oh... I guess it didn't work. Ha ha! Gingy, is it you? The one I was made for? Oh, we'll be together forever. Sweet! ♪ I can't see me ♪ ♪ Loving nobody but you ♪ ♪ For all my life ♪ ♪ When you're with me ♪ ♪ Baby, the skies'll be blue ♪ ♪ For all my life ♪ ♪ Me and you and you and me ♪ ♪ No matter how they toss the dice ♪ ♪ It had to be ♪ ♪ The only one for me is you and you for me ♪ ♪ So happy together ♪ - Are ya happy, Gingy? - You bet! The time since I met you has been the best... 7 1/2 minutes of my life. Good! Because this is only the beginning. I'm going to love you and hold you and feed you and dress you - and cling to you... - Yeah... Hang on to you and smother you with my love. - Yeah... - Forever and ever and ever - and ever and ever... - You know, it's gettin' a little stuffy in here. You know, I might go get some air. Oh, no, you don't. Oh, no... Not without your umbrella. - Come on! - Here, let me get that. Wait for me! Sugar, could you just do me one small, little teensy favor? Anything. Could you leave me alone for like 30 seconds? Anything but that. You know, I forgot my gumdrop buttons. Yeah! Could you run over there and get 'em for me, please? Sure, I can. I'll be right back. ♪ Gingy, Gingy ♪ Run, run, run, as fast as you can if you wanna remain a gingerbread man! Oh! - Oh, Gingy. - Whaa... I don't understand. - I thought you were happy! - Oh, well... It's all my fault. I should have tried harder! No, no, no! Don't try harder! Maybe I'm not pretty enough. I can be pretty... really pretty! - The girl of your dreams. - Aah! Remember? Farewell! Gingy! Let go, Gingy! Fall with me... so we can be together forever! Here's a thought... You let go! Together! Together fore... Boy, what a night! I'm so glad that is over with! Oh! Oh, well. - Nothing lasts forever. - In sports... Together forever. Aah! Together forever. Together forever. Together forever. What a nice surprise! Together forever. Together forever. Together forever. Together forever. - Hey... So what's up? - Together forever. I think we both may have said some things I might regret. - Together forever! - Gosh, your eye is pretty! Look, I know you're upset, so... Aah! Why don't we just sit down... and discuss this? Then... they ate me! Wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee! They're gonna do that all the way home. I... I gotta go. They're my ride. Wait a minute. If they ate you, how is it that you're still here? Did you not say this was a true story? Um... You made it up, didn't ya? I... hey, look! Lord Farquaad's ghost! Aah! Doody heads! And then there were three. Who else wants to step up? I, too, have a terrifying tale to tell. It was a dark and stormy night! Hey... what the... And we needed to find us some shelter! This is my turn to tell a story. Hey, hey. Shh! The kindly innkeeper was warm and friendly. She made me feel all bubbly inside. My trusty sidekick here would love to freshen up. - Sidekick? - And I would love some waffles! But we are equals. Oh, man. Of course we are... The noble donkey reassured his clearly inferior sidekick. I'm getting a little tired of this... But before Puss could finish his thought, he decided to take a well-deserved tongue bath. Wh... wh... wha... wha... Well, as long as I am here. But right then, danger came from behind. ♪ Da-dum, da-dum ♪ ♪ Da-dum, da-dum ♪ And Puss was never seen again. Ha ha. The End. No! That's not how the story goes. I was well aware of the approaching danger and went for my steel. Don't worry, little buddy. I'm here to save you! Ohh. You're killing me. It was Prince Charming! He was packing heat, and he wanted revenge! I want revenge! He said. But before anyone could do anything... Ba-bam! It was awful and it was terrible, and it was really, really scary. What? No! Go back! Although the charming was fast, I was swift enough to repel the attack and leap to safety. Which is exactly what he wanted you to do. Oh! Charming laughed, just like a crazed maniac. Ha ha ha ha ha. Whoa-oa-oa! No, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry, but I would never let that happen to me. Instead, I... I... I woke up. Yeah. That's right! It was all a dream. You mean a nightmare. You know you're on the ceiling, right? I will get you for this. Oh! And then the lights went out. It was horrible and sad how Puss pleaded for mercy! Mercy? Please! Said Puss with his last dying breath. But when the lights came back on, it was the donkey who was taking a shower! Oh, my goodness! Why would I do that? Ha ha! And right behind you, there was danger! - Oh, man. - You were paralyzed! It was a donkey-eating waffle. It was packing heat, and it wanted revenge. I want revenge! The donkey ran. But how far can you run when you are on a plate covered in butter wearing a pink tutu? - No! - And a sombrero. - No! - And a coconut brassiere! And about to be eaten alive! No, please! Please, I'll switch to pancakes! - Aah! - Num, num, num! And the donkey was never seen again. Hoo hoo hah hah hah hah hah! But what Puss didn't know is that right behind him was the one thing he feared more than anything else. - No. You wouldn't. - I would. - You didn't! - I did! No! Anything but that! No! The End. I'm pretty sure that's cheating. Ha. It worked, didn't it? Hmm. Who's next in our little contest? Oh. Has anyone seen the mice? Are we there yet? - Ha. - Okay. I think it's time for a story that's actually scary. Pff. Yeah, whatever. Whoop. Pshh, pshh, pshh. You had your chance. Now, then... Something beyond comprehension was happening to a little boy on this street... in this house. A man had come as a last resort. Because... no one else would go near the place. Gah! I hear you've been expecting me. - You are the... - That's right. I am... the babysitter. Yes, sir, yes, thank goodness you've come. My boy. I don't know what's gotten into him. I've-a never seen anything like it. Trust me, buddy. I've got three little ogres at home. This will be a piece of cake. Father! Father! O... kay then. Look, I'm-a tell you, I tried every trick in the book. - You see? - "Once Upon a Time-Out"? Oh, come on, now. You're gonna listen to a goose? Please, you... you don't understand. It's like he's-a two different people. What your kid needs is discipline, not a bunch of psychological mumble-jumble. You just gotta walk in there, look him in the eye, and show him who's... Please tell me he's an only child. Bobba gone fishpeas. Ba, ba, boo. Um... Hello. Whoo! Well, here's your problem. His head's not screwed on right. When you wish upon a star, you get lots of stuff. Well, I wish for a nice, quiet evening where you go to sleep and I raid the icebox. Okay. - Ow! Ow! Oh! - Hey... Ah! Oh! Ah! Mm. See? That was easy. It's like I always say. When it comes to good parenting, you have to be fair but firm. You just show him that you mean business, and he's out of bed again, isn't he? You never have this problem with sock puppets. Aah! Oh! All right. What's this all about? Voices. - Voices? - Uh-huh! In here! Telling me what to do! You have voices inside your head. Sometimes. And what kind of things do they tell you to do? Oh! Oh... The early bird catches the worm! What's gotten into this kid? Hey... Ow! Hey! Maybe you sing him a little song. Come here, y... I... Do I look like the kind of guy that knows a lullaby? Sing! ♪ Lullaby and good night ♪ ♪ Close your big, creepy eyes ♪ ♪ If you sleep, away I'll creep ♪ ♪ And get out of here alive ♪ Oh... You know, once you get past all the splinters and rope burns, he's actually kinda cute. Now where did he go? A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush! Now, there's something you don't see every day. Aah! Aah! Get him off! Get him off! Aah! Ooh... Mm... Come back here, you! I regret nothing! Ow! Ooh! Ah! Oh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ah! Ah... Ooh... Ahh... Eew! I'm too young to have termites! I'm no termite, Pinocchio. I'm a cricket. You were the voice in my head this whole time? That's right. I'm the one who was putting all those thoughts in your noggin. I'm your conscience, and as long as you let me, I'll always be in... The End. That wasn't me! I never had any bugs in my head. Ha ha. Ask anyone! Okay, then. Why don't we start by asking... your conscience! Aah! Uh, now who's cheatin'? Well, Donkey, looks like it's just you and me. Go ahead. There ain't nothing you can say that can scare me. Yeah, well, I suppose there's nothing left to do but sit here in the dark and wait for the ghost. Ghost? What ghost? Farquaad's ghost, of course. As a matter of fact, if I remember correctly, I believe you had a hand in his untimely demise. Hey, man, that was an accident. And besides, all that ghost stuff is just an urban legend. - You know that! - Is it? Okay, okay. That's... that's just the wind. Donkey! And apparently, it knows my name! That's very funny, Shrek, but I know it's you doing this. Hey, I... I'm standing right here with you, Donkey. No way! This place is not haunted by a ghost! And when the sun comes up, Donkey will be the new king of... it's right behind me, isn't it? Aah! - Donkey! - Oh, my goodness! Aah! Ha ha ha ha! Ah... Well, that's what I'd call a knight to remember. What do you say we scare ourselves up some dinner? I'd say... Grab the kids, and let's get going. And that's why we're the kings of Halloween. He was so scared. You probably won't see him for a month. So what else have you got in your bag of tricks? Hmm. I've got seven eggs. Perfect. I love this holiday. Hey! I am not happy! Run! Run for your life! - Keep away! Keep away! - Take it! Take all of it! The monster took my shoe! - Candy! - Yay, treats. I love treats. - Felicia. - Hi, Daddy. That was a nice grip you had on that big fat kid. Farkle, excellent work with your teeth. - Fergus, my lad. - Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. We're gonna have to work on your timing. All in all, not bad for your first Halloween. They're growing up so fast. And look who got her first clump of hair. Did you see? Farkle got him in the ankle. - What about little Fergus? - Nothing yet. That's all right, sweetie. Mama didn't get a scare this year either. Fear not, my love. The night is still young. Hold the phone. Who left the door open? You don't think that someone's inside? Now, who'd be stupid enough to break into an ogre's house? Oh, wow. Terrifying. I don't know how I'm gonna sleep now. Happy Halloween, everyone. - Oh, man. - You said this was gonna scare 'em. Hey! I worked hard on this costume. Admit it, Shrek. Weren't you even a little bit scared? Donkey, ogres don't get scared. We do the scaring. And that's why we're the kings of Halloween. I bet we can find something that would scare the pants off of you. - Which would scare me. - Oh, really? And what do you have in mind? All of us telling scary stories all night long. There ain't no way you won't be scared! Yes. Stories to make your blood run cold. - Yeah. - Stories to terrify you. Yeah. And whoever shall last through the night, shall be named the King of Halloween. I accept. We doubly accept. Does anyone else want to join our little contest? - I'm in! - Ja, wunderbar! Huzzah! OK. I think I'm going to take the kids out and terrify a few more trick-or-treaters. Will I see you later? - The night is young. - Trick or treat. I shall begin. Once upon a midnight dreary... There was this crazy albino guy, with a hook, and he lived in a mirror. And if you even looked at him, you'd wake up in a bathtub full of ice, with your kidneys gone. Whoa. Hey, hold on. I didn't say we were doing this here. - What? - You name the terms, I name the place. OK, fine! Where we gonna do this? Castle Duloc? Ha, ha, very funny, Shrek. But this is where Lord Farquaad lived. Ja! Und died. I heard it's haunted by his ghost. If you're all too scared to put on big boy pants and go in, I'll just claim my winnings and be on my way. Now, wait a minute! We can last in there just as long as you can. Fine. Come on then. Hold up, Shrek. You can't just go barging into some creepy, spookyjoint like you own the place. And why not? It's not like there's anyone here to stop us. I still don't know about this, man. I'm getting a whole creepy House of wax vibe going on in here. Look, it's that little thingy you love so much, remember? Welcome to Duloc It's a creepy town What was once pristine Now is all rundown We will chop off your head And then laugh when you're dead Duloc is a creepy place Come on in What the heck Fall right down Break your Face Duloc is Duloc is Duloc is a creepy place Get out. - Let's do that again! - No! Well, then... This ought to be fun. Fun. Yeah, right. I find myself agreeing with boss. This looks to be a very entertaining evening. You know what? I just figured out what your costume is. You came as a kiss-up! All right, all right. Buckle up, everybody. The quicker I scare the wits out of you lot, the sooner I can be home, cozy in my bed. Unless anyone else thinks they've got what it takes? Pick me, pick me! I have a scary story. This isn't the one about you getting trapped in the petting zoo again, is it? 'Cause that's not scary. Actually, if you look at it from my perspective... Hey, guess what, Pinocchio? No one cares! Get ready to send these jokers home, Shrek, 'cause I've got a doozy. And it's all true. It was a dark and stormy night... Gingy? My girlfriend kicked me out. You know, something about me being too into myself. You? But you are so adorable. I know, that's what I keep telling her! I need a good woman, Muffin Man. I can help you, Gingy. How about this one? - I don't know. - You like her? No. Weird hair. - How about this one? - Too skinny. No! Don't like it! OK. Well, how about this one? Yes! That's it! She's perfect. The girl of my dreams. Wait. More sugar. But that is not the recipe. Trust me, Muffin Man, this girl's gotta be real sweet. I want someone who will love me forever. I must warn you, Gingy. No one has ever made cookies with this much sugar. You are tampering with forces far beyond your comprehension! Just put her in the oven! OK, a little privacy? Take a hike. Oh, oui. Oh, my gosh, I'm in love! You're like a cookie angel. Wow! And you're hot, too! Hello? I guess it didn't work. Gingy. Is it you? The one I was made for? We'll be together forever. Sweet! Are you happy, Gingy? You bet! The time since I met you has been the best... seven and a half minutes of my life. Good! Because this is only the beginning. I'm going to love you and hold you, and feed you and dress you and cling to you and hang onto you and smother you with my love. - Yeah. - Forever and ever and ever and ever... You know, it's getting a little stuffy in here. You know, I'm gonna go get some air. - Oh, no, you don't. - Oh, no! Not without your umbrella. Come on! Here, let me get that. Wait for me. Sugar, could you just do me one small, little, teensy favor? Anything. Could you leave me alone for like 30 seconds? Anything but that. Yeah, I forgot my gumdrop buttons. Yeah. Could you run over there and get 'em for me, please? Sure I can. I'll be right back. Gingy, Gingy... Run, run, run as fast as you can, if you want to remain a gingerbread man! Oh, Gingy. I don't understand. I thought you were happy. - Oh, well, I... - It's all my fault. I should have tried harder! No, no, no! Don't try harder! Maybe I'm not pretty enough. I can be pretty! Really pretty. The girl of your dreams. - Remember? - Leave me alone! Gingy! Let go, Gingy! Fall with me, so we can be together forever! Here's a thought. You let go! Together. Together for... Boy, what a night! I'm so glad that is over with. - Oh, well, nothing lasts forever. - In sports... Together forever. - Together forever. - What a nice surprise. Together forever. Hey! So, what's up? I think we both may have said some things I might regret. - Together forever. - Gosh, your eye is pretty. Look, I know you're upset, so... Why don't we just sit down and discuss this! Then they ate me. They're gonna do that all the way home. I gotta go. They were my ride. Wait a minute. If they eat you, how is it that you're still here? Did you not say this was a true story? Busted. You made it up, didn't you? I... Hey, look! Lord Farquaad's ghost! Doody heads! And then there were three. Who else wants to step up? I, too, have a terrifying tale to tell. It was a dark and stormy night. Hey, hey. What the...? And we needed to find us some shelter. This is my turn to tell a story. Hey, hey. The kindly innkeeper was warm and friendly. She made me feel all bubbly inside. My trusty sidekick here would love to freshen up. - Sidekick? - And I would love some waffles. - We are equals. - Oh, man. Of course we are. The noble donkey reassured his clearly inferior sidekick. I'm getting a little tired of this. But before Puss could finish his thought, he decided to take a well-deserved tongue bath. What the...? Well, as long as I am here. But right then, danger came from behind. And Puss was never seen again. The end. No! That is not how the story goes. I was well aware of the approaching danger and went for my steel! Don't worry, little buddy. I'm here to save you. Oh, you're killing me. It was Prince Charming. He was packing heat and he wanted revenge! - I want revenge! - He said. But before anyone could do anything... It was awful and it was terrible and it was really, really scary. What? No! Go back. Although the Charming was fast, I was swift enough to repel the attack and leap to safety. Which is exactly what he wanted you to do. Charming laughed, just like a crazed maniac. No, I'm sorry, but I would never let that happen to me. Instead, I... I woke up. Yeah, that's right. It was all a dream. You mean a nightmare. You know you're on the ceiling, right? I will get you for this. Oh! And then the lights went out. It was horrible and sad how Puss pleaded for mercy. Mercy? Please. Said Puss, with his last dying breath. But when the lights came back on, it was the donkey who was taking a shower. Oh, my goodness. Why would I do that? And right behind you, there was danger. - Oh, man. - You were paralyzed. It was a donkey-eating waffle. It was packing heat and it wanted revenge! I want revenge! The donkey... ran. But how far can you run when you are on a plate, covered in butter, wearing a pink tutu? - No! - And a sombrero! And a coconut brassiere! And about to be eaten alive! No! Please! Please, I'll switch to pancakes. And the donkey was never seen again. But what Puss didn't know is that right behind him was the one thing he feared more than anything else. - No. You wouldn't. - I would. - You didn't. - I did. No! Anything but that! No! The end. I'm pretty sure that's cheating. It worked, didn't it? Who's next in our little contest? Has anyone seen the mice? Are we there yet? OK. I think it's time for a story that's actually scary. Yeah, whatever. You had your chance. Now then. Something beyond comprehension was happening to a little boy on this street, in this house. A man had come as a last resort, because... no one else would go near the place. I hear you've been expecting me. - You are the...? - That's right. I am the babysitter. Yes, yes. Thank goodness that you've come. My boy. I don't know what's gotten into him. I've never seen anything like it. Trust me, buddy, I've got three little ogres at home. This will be a piece of cake. Father. Father! - OK, then. - Look, I'm telling you. I've tried every trick in the book. You see? "Once Upon A Time-Out"? Oh, come on, now. - You're gonna listen to a goose? - Please. You don't understand. It's like he's two different people. What your kid needs is discipline, not a bunch of psychological mumbo jumbo. You just gotta walk in there, look him in the eye, and show him who's... Please tell me he's an only child. Bubblegum fish pants... Hello. Well, here's your problem. His head's not screwed on right. When you wish upon a star, you get lots of stuff. Well, I wish for a nice, quiet evening where you go to sleep and I raid the icebox. OK. See? That was easy. It's like I always say, when it comes to good parenting, you have to be fair but firm. You just show 'em that you mean business... And he's out of bed again, isn't he? You never have this problem with sock puppets. All right, what's this all about? Voices. - Voices? - In here. Telling me what to do. You have voices inside your head. Sometimes. And what kind of things do they tell you to do? The early bird catches the worms! What's gotten into this kid? Hey! You're going to... Maybe you sing him a little song. Come here, you... Hey! What the...? Do I look like the kind of guy that knows a lullaby? Sing! Lullaby and good night Close your big creepy eyes If you sleep Away I'll creep And get out of here alive You know, once you get past all the splinters and rope burns, he's actually kind of cute. Now where did he go? A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Now there's something you don't see every day. Get him off! Get him off! Come back here, you! I regret nothing! I'm too young to have termites! I'm no termite, Pinocchio. I'm a cricket. You were the voice in my head this whole time? That's right. I'm the one who was putting all those thoughts in your noggin. I'm your conscience, and as long as you let me, I'll always be your... The end. That wasn't me. I never had any bugs in my head. Ask anyone. OK, then. Why don't we start by asking your conscience. Now who's cheating? Well, Donkey, looks like it's just you and me. Go ahead. There ain't nothing you can say that can scare me. Oh, well, I suppose there's nothing left to do but sit here in the dark and wait for the ghost. Ghost? What ghost? Farquaad's ghost, of course. As a matter of fact, if I remember correctly, I believe you had a hand in his untimely demise. Hey, man. That was an accident. And besides, all that ghost stuff is just an urban legend. - You know that. - Is it? OK, OK, that's... that's just the wind. Donkey! And apparently it knows my name. That's very funny, Shrek. But I know it's you doing this. Hey, I'm standing right here with you, Donkey. No way. This place is not haunted by a ghost, and when the sun comes up, Donkey will be the new King of... It's right behind me, isn't it? - Donkey. - Oh, my goodness! Well, that's what I'd call a "knight" to remember. What do you say we scare ourselves up some dinner? I'd say... grab the kids and let's get going. And that's why we're the Kings of Halloween. He was so scared. We probably won't see him for a month. So, what else have you got in your bag of tricks? I've got seven eggs. Perfect. I love this holiday. Oh, very nice! I am not happy! Get your jacket off and get out! This season, on Hell's Kitchen: How dare you? If you don't get out, I'll drag you out. Really? It's the one you've been waiting for. You're crazy. You can go [bleep] off, Chef Ramsay. We are so [bleep]. He's gonna eat us alive. This will be the hardest... You guys are useless! I wanted to slap his ass. [bleep] off! fiercest... Shut your [bleep] mouth! I'm fine! I'm just so pissed. You'd better start listening. I don't want to hear [bleep]! How dare you? Fight back, young man. Come on! Come here! wildest... Whoa, whoa, whoa! sexiest... D-a-m-n. Damn! I'm just gonna completely Pop out of my shirt. Like, goodness, gracious! and most rewarding season yet. Yay! Yeah! I like winning. and that's just the beginning. You're a donkey! No, Chef, don't say that, please! I cannot take Much more! Now, these hopefuls are ready to enter Chef Ramsay's domain. They come with confidence. I'm not nervous at all about any competition. Throw a pan at me, and I'm gonna throw a pan back. And they come with dreams of being the next winner of Hell's Kitchen. It's done; it's over with. They might as well just give me the prize. Today, representatives from the media have come for their first glimpse of the group that will contain the next culinary superstar. It's not that I'm cocky, but Hell's Kitchen's gonna be a piece of cake. These aspiring chefs think they know what awaits them. I'm pretty confident that I'm prepared for anything that Chef Ramsay can throw at me. But no one is ever really prepared for Hell's Kitchen. Right, let's go. Come over. Oh, my God. I was taken away. I felt like a celebrity. Hello, hi. This year's chefs come from all over the country. I'm from Maui, Hawaii. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Boston, Massachusetts. From many different culinary backgrounds, I'm a master cook. I'm a culinary arts teacher. I'm a stay-at-home mom. Bright lady. and experiences. My name is Fran, I'm 44 years old. But I have 30 years experience behind me. Right. The chefs enjoy the limelight now. Hello, I'm Scott. I'm from Manhattan, New York. I'm here to win Hell's Kitchen. But in Hell's Kitchen, you have to prove yourself. Bold statement. Good. And this time is no exception. Okay. Because Chef Ramsay has an important announcement. I want to officially guarantee that we will complete the opening night dinner service at Hell's Kitchen. Oh, man. Has he lost his damn mind? Why would he promise that? I'm, like, thinking to myself, like, I don't know how we're going to do that. It's never been done before. Is that clear? Yes, Chef. I can't hear you; is that clear? Yes, Chef! And with that, Hell's Kitchen begins. Get in there and cook me a signature dish. Off you go! Let's not let Gordon down. Oh dear, oh dear. ♪ uh, uh ♪ ♪ fire ♪ ♪ uh ♪ ♪ woo woo woo woo ♪ ♪ the way you walk ♪ ♪ and talk ♪ ♪ really sets me off ♪ ♪ to a full alarm, child ♪ ♪ yes, it does ♪ ♪ the way you squeeze ♪ ♪ and tease ♪ ♪ knocks me to my knees ♪ ♪ 'cause I'm smokin', baby ♪ ♪ baby, woo woo woo ♪ ♪ the way you push ♪ ♪ push ♪ ♪ lets me know that you're goo-oo-ood ♪ ♪ you're gonna get your wish ♪ ♪ oh, no, fire ♪ ♪ what I said, child ♪ ♪ ow ♪ ♪ fire ♪ ♪ fire ♪ ♪ yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ fire ♪ Hey, this is why we're here, huh? With Chef Ramsay's promise to the press still hanging in the air, the aspiring chefs quickly get to work on their signature dishes. Let's go. And they'll have just 45 minutes to create a dish worthy of Chef Ramsay's praise. 15 minutes to go, ladies. I'll make it work. I'm a celebrity chef. That's my craft. I've cooked for Nathan Lane, Martha Stewart Martin Short, Don Rickles, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. Hot, hot, hot, hot. And they've all loved my food. Coming across. Coming across, hot. Oh, [bleep]. Have you seen the trash anywhere? Oh. I guess all I have to do is turn around, right? They think I'll play that cute factor, you know? Let's put it this way. Everybody is looking for you. So leave or I'm calling the cops. Leave. Hello, gentlemen. How are you? - Don't get too close or I'll vomit. - You never used to say that. You see one of my men behind my back, you blackmail him, you appropriate my work. You really are the height of elegance. Hello, everyone. Please, don't get up. Ladies and gentlemen, I will be brief. So, the Butcher of la Villette has been freed erroneously. Whatever the mistakes made in this case, it is now time to apply all the means possible to stop this psychopath before he kills again or leaves the country. The Crime Squad is officially in charge, but I wish for all squads to collaborate on the case and to forward all useful information to Superintendent Bremont. I beg you not to fight each other in a sterile war, but to bring your strength together to hunt this predator. Questions? So, to work. I'm happy we're working together. I'm sure we'll work wonders. When you have five minutes, tell your team to... to stop flying solo, you will end up in trouble... I want that arsehole brought down. Mr Meynard, I'm not used to seeing you work wonders, but I am giving you another chance. You are going to reactivate my card today. Let me call you back. Miss Karlsson, it's impossible, you've been overdrawn for three months. Do you think 40,000 Euros will be enough? In cash furthermore! It's always the same story with you. Nothing for months and then one day... It's called being your own boss. Do you think you're the only one? If you can't find decent cases, - get a new job. - I'm starting from scratch! Do you know what that means for a criminal lawyer? It means looking for fees in the sewers, it means being a court-appointed lawyer for 192 euros with clients who beg you to get them out of jail and who think you're a piece of shit once they're out! That's what it means. Being a lawyer may look nice, but at the beginning it's mostly just whoring, if you'll pardon the expression. So, yes, I am overdrawn, yes, I am working like a dog, but you know me, I'm still standing. So do your job and support me. 40,000 euros in cash. They're going to ask for an explanation. Well, deal with it. Sit down. Thank you. Everybody in my office in five minutes. Cancel your plans for tonight, we're going to keep watch on the whores and catch Niko. - Laure, can I talk to you? - I don't have time. Wait! Stop being angry at me. - I'm an honest guy, you know me. - Really? You call going behind my back honest? I didn't go behind your back. I had an agreement with Bremont so he wouldn't shut down your career and Aubert's. He's the one who's after you, Laure, not me. What? - Oh, yes. I don't know what you did to him, but he doesn't like you very much. Get them now, we're going to start. Excuse me. Could you tell Jérôme I'd like to see him? - I'll be in the changing room. - OK, I'll tell him. What are you doing here? I came to see the youth worker. - You've got my money? - Let me go. Wait. I want my share, you fucker. Son of a bitch. You're not entitled to anything. You chickened out. Without me you wouldn't have had the key to the office, - so I want my money, or I'll kill you. - Get lost! Don't show up here unless you have the money, got it? That's enough! Stop this bullshit! We were talking quietly, and he comes and bugs us. Come here. Listen to me. Until you apologise, you don't set foot here! Understood? You don't understand, arsehole. We found the garage thanks to Jésus. Now that we all agree the Mexican killed Karine and Célia, we need to find Niko, Tatiana's probable killer. We know he is a pimp, probably Albanian, with a scar on the cheek. He has girls working near the Canal de I'Ourcq. Without Jésus, he will be difficult to identify, so keep your eyes open. The Crime Squad should not have the info on Niko. We're ahead of them. We're pretty sure that Ronaldo taught Niko his MO to carve up Tatiana. Niko could then tell Jésus how to mutilate her. And Tatiana then becomes a victim of the Butcher of la Villette. And Ronaldo gets freed. - Niko and Ronaldo know each other? Yes. It's the only explanation. But we're not 100% sure. Ronaldo had no visitors in jail, except his lawyer. Now what's important is how to catch Ronaldo before he kills a new victim. He fooled the cops, the judge... He must feel invincible. It's pretty certain he will do it again. Yes, but he's on the run. And running isn't cheap. He needs money, documents. He has no one else but Niko. Therefore if we want to catch Ronaldo, we have to focus on Niko. All right? The whores change places often so as not to be noticed. According to Jésus' info, they were on quai de la Charente. So, starting tonight, we're camping there with sleeping bags and Thermos flasks. What do we do about the Crime Squad? - Nothing. I want to be the only one informed about the investigation. It's every man for himself, and God for all. Questions? Finding the garage where he mutilated his victims confirms he was involved in Karine Lavergne and Célia Moreau's deaths. A bench warrant has been issued for him. So, what do you think? I think you freed a man who killed two women. You think like a prosecutor! It's really good for the practice. Do you know where he is? It's stupid, he came by yesterday. If I'd known, he was right here. I'm not sure I understand you correctly. You wanted to turn him in? - A client on the run is worth nothing. However, a good trial... It's this kind of case that I get up every morning for, Pierre. Everybody can fight for a victim, but it bores me. Fighting for a monster, though... that's exciting. It's challenging! It may not be easy to hear, but welcome to the adult world. Can you just tell me why you became a lawyer? Don't you have an appointment at the court? Yes. What's the judge going to think? I made commitments, I told her you would behave like an adult, and you do exactly the opposite. Wait, you're starting to piss me off. - I'm telling you it's not my fault. - Right, you're a victim. If you want to be helped, you need to change your tune! What is this fucking lecture? You pretend to be nice, but you're an arsehole like the rest of them! Take back what you just said. It's not my fault trouble follows me around! My life sucks and it won't change. Only my mother understood me. Even when she was wasted she understood me. You know, Dylan is one of these helpless teenagers. He's nice, and the next minute he messes up. It's true, I misjudged him. I heard he came to talk to me. The other two went after him when he meant no harm. See if the judge can move him to another home. No one can stand him here. That's the paradox for these kids. They need attention and all they get is hate. I'll call the judge. Thanks. - Thank you. Mr Zeppini. I was freed an hour ago, so I came to thank you. May I? - Please. A client who thanks me is a rare thing. That how I am. When I'm happy I let people know. So... So... How do I get my money back? What do you mean get your money back? - My 40,000 euros. The judge has to give them back. You told me so. Wait. Why do you think you were freed from jail? The workings of the Holy Spirit? Do you think the affidavit from the casino appeared by magic? Wait... you used my money? But... what did you want? You wanted me to use mine? - What's left? - Nothing. Do you know how many signatures are needed to get someone out of jail? Between the clerk, the judge, the guards... 40,000 euros goes quickly. This money wasn't mine! The guys who entrusted me with it will kill me! Tell them that the cops took it, that's it. 40,000 euros in cash... I don't know many who could resist. These guys will never believe me, they'll rip my head off... Mr Zeppini, you are free. That's the most important thing. And if you need me, you know where to find me. Good luck, Mr Zeppini. Shit! That's enough. I'm losing my concentration. See, this is our sesame. You intend to go to your brother with that? Not only go there, but also find out what he has against you. The number you dialled is not in service. Come in. Hello. Hello. Is Judge Roban here? Not yet. Can I take a message? Tell him it's all in here. Very well. Goodbye. Hello, is... is Julie here, please? No, there's no Julie here. Yes, Julie... a girl with dark hair. I don't know. You must have the wrong floor. I'm sorry, but I have been here before. I can even tell you that the glasses are behind... Listen, it's not here, OK? Marianne, did Mrs Courcelles get in touch? Not that I know of, Your Honour. I should have let her leave in her bra and panties. Prepare a summons for indictment. - I'm leaving. - I am sorry. She... She stopped by earlier, she left... an envelope for you. - An envelope? An envelope. I can't recall where I put it. Are you doing this on purpose? I'm sorry. She stopped by, my mind was elsewhere. I didn't pay attention. What are you waiting for? Help me look for it. Here it is. My husband has a safe in a bank. The key is in the left drawer of the desk and the contract is in a Bible in the library. Well, this is good news. Isabelle? You cut your hair. It suits you! Your clerk told me I could find you here. Can I sit down? I heard about your mother. I didn't have a family before, now there's no one left. It doesn't make a difference. - And why didn't you tell me? - No, I... No, I wasn't going to tell you about it. And you wanted some time to think... about us. Yes, I thought about it. I want to carry on, François. Whether it suits my son or not... I am entitled to live my life. But you... you're not afraid of falling out with him? He'll get over it. For the moment, you're the one that matters. Will you say the same thing in the future? The mayor of Villedieu will be searched tomorrow. There will be consequences. I'll be dragged through the mud. I'm used to it, but you? Are you saying you don't want to see me? I'm saying that I'm scared of losing you. The people I love all end up turning their back on me. I won't be able to bear it if you do. I don't fucking care if the judge can't find me a new home. I'll manage. Where will you sleep? Under a bridge or on a bench. Anyway, it's cool you called me. You'll sleep on a bench. Or in a squat. But it's dodgy. There are always problems. Sleep at my place. We'll find a solution tomorrow. Your place? Just for tonight. And don't tell anyone. I'm not supposed to put you up. Can I finish my pizza or should we go now? Go ahead, finish it. I'll go and pay. Your bathroom's so clean. Don't you ever wash? Help me with the sheet. What are those marks? Nothing. You live alone? - Yes. - You don't have a girlfriend, a wife? - I'm divorced. - And the redhead? - She's my associate. You don't fancy her? None of your business. What about you? No girlfriend? It never works out with girls. You're good-looking, you should be popular with the girls. I'll let you finish. I'm off to bed. Catch! A T-shirt for the night. Good thinking, thanks. - Good night. Niko? How's your hand? That bitch bit through the skin. You'd better get tested in case she has AIDS... I'll call you back. Hello, Vlad. How are you? Not so good, mate. Why didn't you tell me a girl tried to run? I was going to tell you, but we got her. Tani took care of her. We have more pressing matters. Did you watch the news? Not yet... The cops are looking for the football player. They found his hideout. Find him and kill him. I don't want him to talk about us. All right. He'll probably call me. No, no waiting. We are in this situation because of your bullshit... So sort yourself out and take care of the matter tonight. Was that Vlad? I am going to smash your face in, you fucker! Why did you say Elena ran away? Are you mad? It wasn't me, I said nothing. Must be the Shark! He's a good guy, he wouldn't have squealed! I swear it's not me, Niko! Word of honour. Tell the girls to get ready. Tonight, I want them to work flat-out. I see them. Do you see them? - Yes. Great. There are five... No, six. Take their pictures. Hurry up! - Yes, I'm hurrying. - Is it OK? Wait... On the bridge on the right there. I can't believe it. It's Ronaldo. Do you see him? - Wait. Everyone, listen up. Subject of average height, dark jacket. A hoody, shaved head. He looks like Ronaldo. Be ready. He's going towards the girls. Tintin, Gilou, go ahead. Go ahead, stop him! OK, I'm going around. We'll corner him. It's not him. It's not him. OK. I'm going back around. See you behind. How much a blow-job? - 40. If you're in a hurry, we can go behind... Shit, I thought it was him. Fuck. What do you want, arsehole? Calm down. I'm looking for a Mexican. I don't give a shit. I'm sleeping. You want my photo? Get lost, you faggot! Leave him alone, you're going to kill him. Go back to sleep, grandpa. Stop, you're crazy! Let's go! Quick! If Vlad wants his crazy Mexican, he should go after him. It's pissing me off. The last girl is off with a client. Down, down, down! He's gonna get a blow-job here. Fuck, he must be desperate to get a woman here. What do you care? You don't come here on holiday. You're right. I forgot that you were an expert. You're out of line. Fuck, you're becoming a pain, Gilou. - We can't say anything any more. - Don't worry. You'll soon be rid of me. And Laure? Tell me it doesn't hurt to leave her. Me, I would understand, but Laure? Go ahead, say it. Say it! They're moving. Gilou to Laure. The guy is going away with the girl, what do we do? We follow? No, we wait. They're done. Let's go. Why don't they come back? Are you sure the pimps didn't pick them up? They must have picked them up somewhere else. We'll come back tonight, we've got to stay on their back. Everybody, get some sleep. Debriefing at 10:00am. Stop it, no one will be up at 10.00am. Not even youl Wanna bet? No. You'd lose, there's no point. By the way, I owe you 10 euros. I thought you were a heavy sleeper - I've been ringing your bell for 10 minutes. Get lost. I should be the one who's angry. Since you lost the case, you pretended to be into me while running after Ronaldo on the sly. I didn't suddenly become your type overnight. Why are you doing this? What do you gain by sleeping with me? And you? Fifteen years ago I totally messed up with you. This time I don't want to miss my chance. Would it be a problem that you've become my type? Get up. Judge Morel just called. She found you a home. You've got 15 minutes to get ready. Where is it? - Pantin. You will go and see her after and start reimbursing what you stole. Have you got any money on you? If you mean the 200 euros, I spent it all. - And how are you going to manage? - It's not a problem. It's not a problem to find 200 euros? I've got as much cash as I want. It just pisses me off to earn it the way I do. How? Here's 50. Why are you doing all this for me? Hurry up. There's coffee if you'd like. Laure! Laure, it's Gilou! - Calm down! - How's it going? So, who was right? You switched your phone off? Sorry, I went back to sleep. I'm taking a shower, I'm coming. - Wait, I'll make some coffee. - I don't have any left. I'll see you at the office. See you later, then. Fuck, just what I didn't want to happen. You're entitled to a private life, aren't you? I don't know. What? How come you don't know? - Aren't we serious? - Yes, we are. Anyway, I've got to go. I'm taking someone in for questioning. What kind? The kind of dealer involved in settling scores in a squat. A guy got hit in the lung by a bullet. It went through the ceiling. He is dead? He'll survive. I can't say the same for the shooter, we'll get him good. Who? The dealer? No, apparently he's not the shooter. We'll know more after the questioning. We put him in a hotel on rue Marcadet. The Eldorado? No, the Étoile d'Agadir. Why? Are you interested in the case? You're talking, I'm listening. Hello, Judicial Police. Nadia speaking. Nadia, it's Gilou. Can you check a licence plate? Go ahead, I'm listening. Alpha Charlie 073, India Kilo 75. Hold on, I'm checking. Why are you asking? It belongs to the Crime Squad. OK, thank you. Hello? Hi, it's Dylan. I went to the home, I met my new youth workers. Can I stop by to tell you about it? It's not easy at the moment, Dylan. I'm with a client. Can we talk later? - Are you gonna be long? I don't know, I'll call you back. Bastard. I'm in a hurry, Pierre. What do you want to know? Where have the 40,000 euros come from? What are you insinuating? I don't know. 40,000 euros were deposited in this account, the firm's account, and they disappeared. I'm wondering. This money was sealed. My client needed to get it back in cash. I helped him. That's all. Why make it go through the firm's account? You couldn't deposit it in his account directly? He doesn't have an account. His banking privilege is suspended. You don't believe me? Call him. Go ahead, call him! You wouldn't take the risk of lying to me. I give you my word, all right? Arnaud Ledoré? Hello. How are you? Hello. - Do you remember me? Do you know Mr Delcourt? Can we talk to you for two minutes? Yes. What about? It's about Julie. Julie. That's enough. - Who filmed that? - Julie's webcam. It would be too bad if this film were to go around court, wouldn't it? What do you mean, go around? To avoid that, you need to help us. What kind of help? - Working for us. Tell us exactly where Roban is in the Villedieu case. I can't. I'm sworn to secrecy. Speaking of secrets, you know that Julie is underage? That's crazy, she's in the first year of law school! Look. She's in high school. You see? Must admit, she is pretty talented for a 15-year-old. If you refuse to help us, within 30 minutes this film will be sent to every magistrate's mailbox. When they realise the girl is underage, they won't do you any favours. And you will be disbarred for life. Harsh, isn't it? Gilou! Tintin! What's going on? The Crime Squad has found the guy Gilou argued with at the squat. How do you know? - I just know. If the guy talks, they'll be able to get to Patricia. - Knowing her, she'll talk. - The Crime Squad can't implicate Gilou. - The bullet doesn't come from his gun. - Wait, Bremont isn't stupid. He'll know we covered up for Gilou if Patricia says she was with him. He'll realise I tampered with the seal. Did a cop tell you that? We need to get to the guy first. He's in a hotel on rue Marcadet. The Étoile d'Agadir. You don't answer questions any more? Fuck, Gilou, I'm fighting for you! You want to end up in jail? Let's go. Arnaud, are you aware that as an intern, you are allowed to follow a police investigation in the field? Yes, I know. Our relationship being what it is, I suggest you take this opportunity. Thank you, but I'd rather stay here. And I have seen enough of you. You are starting tomorrow. They are informed of your arrival. - Is everything all right, Marianne? - It's nothing, Your Honour. It's just the shelf collapsing. Wait, let me take care of it. My husband has a safe in a bank on the Champs-Elysées... Average height, short dark hair. Stocky. This is a peaceful hotel. I don't want any trouble. Please, answer. OK, your colleagues came yesterday. Yesterday? - Yes. They took the man you're looking for. What was his name? He called himself Mr Bo. Thank you. Either your informant is bad or someone's taking the mickey. Now can you tell me who gave you this shitty tip? You'd better cross your fingers he's forgotten your face. I have a bad feeling about this. Hello? Now? I'm coming. I have to go. What about the debriefing on the whores? Start without me. And be ready. We're doing it again tonight. Where are you taking me? Nowhere. The road ends here. You didn't realise it was a trap? I give you information about the squat and you charge straight in. I saw you leaving the hotel, you and your guys. Someone from your team has enquired several times about this case. Who the fuck are you protecting? Don't say anything. I've got the dealer, the bullet. It's easy to follow the story. Get lost. We both made a mistake. There's nothing left to say. Even in 15 years. Fuck. Yes. This is Arnaud Ledoré. The judge is going to search the mayor's home tomorrow morning. The documents he's looking for are in a safe, and the key is in the left drawer of the desk. Of course I'm sure. The mayor's wife left a letter. Wait, what about the film? You promise me you'll destroy it? Previously on "Death Comes to Town": That's a brooch? And why do we need a camera again? For my investigation. Marnie, I need to know who really killed the Mayor. But if Shuckton is going to continue to grow or even survive, we need to bring in some new money. What's that? You want a kiss? Well, if that's what you want. Oh yeah, Shuckton, I still got it. I'm your soul taker! I got it. Two for two. I got two souls. I'm your man. Oh yeah, I still got- Ahhhh! Ohhh. Shit. And now the sad, freaking news. It appears that one of our own has become the story. Heather Weather was killed yesterday, which leaves us to wonder, who could have killed this aging bright light. What, you don't like the picture? I picked it out myself. Ma'am, can I talk to you for a minute? I've live on the air here. We have some questions regarding your involvement in the case that you're reporting. Levon! Shit. Okay, go to promo. The breaking news appears to be... Higher, higher! ...That, ah, for some stupid reason I have become the suspect. Hey, easy flatfoot. I am with child. Ow! Ten thousand years old... I can't take this. Welcome to "Ends of Days Exercise." Let's start stretching, shall we? Breathe. And breathe. Breathe in the darkness and let out the light. You're letting go of life. Feel that stretch. And now that we are nimble, let's do some cardio. Start running on the spot. This is good; it makes us feel like we are only 1,000 years old. Let's get your seven hearts beating. Let's get your heartrate to over 3,000 beats per minute. Coffee, miss Gablechuck? No, thanks. So I'm sure you've heard about Heather Weather? Yes, that she was murdered. No, that she'd been shaving her age. She's really 62 years old. Wh- oh, um... I'm not surprised. So, you hated her. No. No, no, no. Uh, no, she was a nice person, just sometimes she wasn't nice. Now we're getting somewhere. I saw that! We have several eye witnesses that place you at the scene of the crime and a few hundred of 'em overheard you say you wanted to kill miss Weather. No, no, I di- I... Okay, maybe, but I... Look, I just... That's not the kind of thing I would ever... Okay, look... I know, I know, I know, I gotta stop babbling. I gotta- and I gotta stop laughing nervously, right? She's going down. I heard that! Look you don't know what I'm going through. You try being pregnant 27/4. It's confession time. You did it again! Hey. I'm Shaye. What are you doing here, Shaye? There's no way Corrinda coulda killed Heather. And I have the footage to prove it. Shaye. Look, I'm not gonna let my baby momma do jail time. Even if I don't plan to help with the kid at all. Mm-hm... Okay, I'm so mad! I am so mad at her, I could just kill Heather Weather right now. I mean literally I could just kill her. Okay. You know how I'd do it? Rip out her tongue and I'd wrap her own tongue around her freaking neck until she was dead. Do you know what? That would be funny. That would be funny. You know why? Because then she couldn't shoot her flipping mouth off and she'd be dead. And I would win because she's dead! I added echo for effect. I like sound. Now look at the timecode. It's the time of the murder, damn! This is the first time that someone saying they want to kill someone was their alibi. Grrr! Shaye. You know, I do what I do, check one two. Check one two. Well, this is the big day. I'll be witness for the prosecution. Somebody's ears are going to be burning Because I'll be talking about you, testifying about you. Some say I'll even be lying about you. What's that, Larry? You want me to tell the truth no matter what? Then everyone'll know our personal business. They'll never understand. What? I... I suppose I could do it just for us. What's that, Larry? You want to show your appreciation somehow? I suppose I could do that. After all, it would be rude of me to turn down a... Oh, Larry, small but eager. I'm going to need a serviette. Hmmmm... Ah, thank God for rigamortis. Councillors. I eat you. Brother. Brother. I'm feeling really good, Sam. Full of hope. My spirit bear put me through an exercise program. Really worked my core, eh? Good morning, I have and important announcement which will change the outcome of this trial. Oh... This may be very good for us. I think we're gonna get a retrial. I'm beginning trust you, Sam Murray. As you know someone has stolen my first and second-string gavels. Now today my wife needs the hammer that I've been using as my third-string gavel for one of her projects. Bird house. Which is all to say, you're looking at it: Today's gavel. All right, look, look. It's just gonna have to do. What a travesty this is turning into. Your honour, may I approach the bench? Yes. Then I get to come too - it's in the rules. Hit me. Your honour, there have now been two very similar murders and I think it's quite probable they were both committed by the same person. We agree. Hm? Oh, good. Yeah, it's pretty obvious the Crim did this too. Let's charge him... For murder! Two time. You have a good point. How can he have a point? Crim was in jail at the time of the murder? You have a good point. Yeah, I have a good point. How can Crim have done it? It's called shape shifting, your honour. Something that's pretty darn easy to do. In fact, in the big city we do it all the time. No they don't. That's crazy. Yeah, look, I'm getting taller, I'm getting shorter. I'm getting taller, I'm getting shorter. I'm getting shorter. He's just standing on his toes. I'm getting taller. He's standing on his toes. Ohhh... Counsellors, you have both made very compelling arguments. He didn't. So let me deliberate. - Yes, no, yes. - Come on, come on. Yes, yes, oh yes. All right. I've deliberated. No retrial. Order. I said, order! Order in this court. There will be order. S-h-u- you know what, comrade? I'm getting a little tired of spelling "Shuckton." It's a little town with a big heart and it is really easy to spell. Well, I am trying to speak to the Mayor of Russia. What do you mean, you don't have a m... Look, do you people want to rape our land or not? Rape. Rape! R-a- never... You know what? Never mind! Travis! That's my name. I'm gonna need a power shake. And by power shake you mean Martini. Yes. But I'm gonna call it a power shake. But it is still a quadruple Martini, right? Yes. Ah, I'm on it. Prosecution calls it's witness. Thank you, your honour. We'd like to call... I forget his name, but that guy. Prosecution calls to the stand town coroner, Dusty Diamond. This ought to be swift and painfree. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Remember, darling, if they ask, tell them everything, everything. Well... do you swear? Hm? Oh, um... Well, I'd like to know what I'm swearing to. Um, perhaps I could read it. 'Cause I can't very well give a good book recommendation if I haven't read it. Mr. Diamond, please. Yes, I swear. Hm. Mr. Diamond, so nice to have you today. Mm-hm. Let's start with: Were you friends with the Mayor? Friends. Mmm, mmm... Thirsty. Friends, ah. Um, yes. Can we get to the meat of the matter, sir? Yes. What was the cause of death? Cause. Well, um, first of all, I, uh, ascertained that his heart would beat no more of that beautiful blood and then I further ascertained that his lungs would breathe in no more of that lucky air. Lucky because it was allowed to go inside of him. Great. But what I'm getting at is what were the autopsy results? Why do you people keep making me relive this nightmare? Because you're the coroner! Good point. What was the cause of death? Cause? Well, um... Sir, there are so many causes of death nowadays. Um, murder, disease, loneliness - that's the real killer. That's what finally got the roadrunner. Your honour, the witness is really pissing me off! Mr. Diamond, answer the question. Well, I would if he would stop misleading me. Come on! What was the cause of death? What? What got him? What? Come on, what was the cause of death? What was the cause of death? Well, I don't know the cause of death. Because I never finished the autopsy. There! Satisfied? Fine, we'll just have to do it again. This is good. I'm ordering that the body of Mayor Bowman be exhumed first thing in the morning. Very good. Oh, it's gonna be gross. It's gonna be disgusting. Is that the ring for the tipster hotline or the suicide hotline? I think that's the tipster one. Oh, good. 'Cause those suicide guys will keep you on forever. You're up. Shuckton police. Hello? As a citizen I would like to say that I think it's odd that both the Mayor and Heather Weather were murdered, and don't you think that the true murderer is still out there? Yeah, yeah. You got any information for us? Well, I have plenty. I mean, have you checked out the drifter staying at the no tell motel. And there's plenty of other suspects. I'm having trouble understanding you. Sounds like there's a cloth between your mouth and the phone. No, of course not. Well, you don't have to be nervous. This is a totally anonymous service... I just need to know one thing: What size are you? An xxxxxl. Why? So we can send you a tipster t-shirt. Wait a second, xxxxl? Is this Ricky? Hm? Oh. Happy- Hold it. No time. We got a tip. Have the rookie blow out the candles. Eh, you guys shouldn't have. Shuckton 5-0. Open up. I live for this shit. What? Overtime. Right. Hold it, something's wrong. That's better. Clear. Clear. Clear. Clear. I'm going in. What? Just me. Suitcase. Excuse me, sir. Uh, we'd like to ask you a few questions. Namely, what are you doing in town? Oh. So, what's troubling you is the nature of my game? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Ohhh. Oh my God... I'm seeing myself as a child. I'm seeing myself being conceived. Uhn... I got it worse than that. I'm seeing the night before I was conceived. My dad's jerking off. Well, this guy checks out clean. A guy like you could never murder anyone. Well, thank you. And you're such a gentleman. Thank you. Mind if we make your bed, sir? All right. Larry? ! Larry! Larry! I have terrible news. They're going to exhume you, so we need to move you. But just for a little bit. Uh? Yeah, I suppose we have time for a quick one. Ooh, someone started without me. Mmm. Quickly! Mmm. Mm! Quick, no... Mmm. That's better. All right. Who's the murderer? Drifter? Marilyn? Rampop? Marnie? It's Ricky at headquarters. Pinpoint your position. Are you at the Mayor's house, yet? Almost Ricky. I'm inside. Be careful. Marilyn could come home at any minute. Okay, Ricky. Oh my. Marnie, what are you doing? I'm dusting for fingerprints. And a little dirt. Come on, Marnie. Looks for something that looks like a clue. Sorry, Ricky. Let's start looking right now. It's a very scary foyer. I'm going to look around it. Here I go, Ricky. I'm looking. Please don't just run in circles. Marnie, what's that? It's a picture of their fat son. No, no, no. Stand perfectly still. Oh boy. Look at the remotes. The remotes? I'm looking at the remotes, Ricky. Zoom in on the remotes. Zooming in, Ricky. I've been studying the crime scene. Usually there's 13 remotes. Now there's only 12. Marnie, I think we just figured out what the murder weapon was. Ooh! Now all we gotta do is find it. Oh... Let's go, Larry. Very good. Yes, here we are. No one sees us. Good, good. Yes. Okay, Larry. Here we go. Let's go. That's good. Okay. Oh. Larry. Oh, pardon my vigor. Now, Larry, if we meet any other boaters, let me do the talking. Hang on, Larry, I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere, lover. Everything will be fine. I've got everything under control, Larry. One day we'll look back on this and laugh. Ah, there we are, perfect. Okay, Larry, here we go. Help me out here, Lar. Scooch over. That's good. Okay. What? Oh, don't be ridiculous, Larry. Of course you'll still be attractive to me after the autopsy. It's just scars. Chicks dig scars. I love scars. Now here we go. Oh, wonderful. You're doing very good. What? What's that, Larry? Really? You want to take our love to the next level? Well, I... The setting's a little strange, but... Well, I suppose we wouldn't be the first star-crossed lovers to make love in a crypt. Oh Larry, I accept. Oh-ohhhhh! Oomph! No, not there. Maybe it's here. No, it's never there. There's no murder weapon anywhere. Come on, Marnie, you're looking for a remote control. Suspicious. What is? Just a second Ricky. Jumbo panties! Excuse me. Aahhh! I've been caught. What are you doing with my panties? What should I do? S-say you're a panty fiend, sorry. Sorry, I'm a panty fiend. What? I'm a dirty panty fiend. I have a thing for your panties. Really, I can't get enough of your jumbo panties. I really love your panties. I love your panties so much. You can stop saying that. I'll stop saying that now. Good. Now, Marnie, what are you doing here? Ask Ricky. Don't say my name. So, Ricky sent you? Oh, Marnie, don't kid yourself that I don't know all about the big secret. What secret? What secret? And I don't care if my husband did father that fat bastard! Sshhhhhh! Coach Bowman's my dad? Ricky. Can you feel me closing in? You're mine, Ricky. Ricky! Ricky! Hey, we're trying to sleep. Sorry. Yeah, I do get carried away sometimes. I should just shut up. Previously on The Vampire Diaries: For over a century, I have lived in secret. Until now. I know the risk but I have to know her. Elena. She's a dead ringer for Katherine. - Anna, your face. - It's nothing. It didn't look like nothing. - Matty tells me you broke his heart. - Mom. He found his rebound girl. There's a tomb under the church. You saved everyone in the church? Twenty-seven vampires, Damon. You can't just bring them back. It's Harper. I'm glad you found us. Annabelle, close the door, please. Hey, Bethanne. What are you guys watching? You've been watching the same thing the whole time? There are over 150 channels. It's called a remote control. This button changes the channel. Hold it like this. - Mm. Did you get enough, sweetheart? - For now. Anna, are you hungry? Did you want a little? No, thank you, Miss Gibbons. Why don't you lay down and get some rest? She's fine. Aren't you, Miss Gibbons? Of course I am. I'm fine. Hey, Mom. Mom. Hey, Mom. What? I'm trying to sleep. Uh, I was just making sure you're alive. I'm sorry, sweetie, it was a late night. My head is throbbing. Yeah, um, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't bring the party home. I'm sure the neighbors would appreciate it. It wasn't a party. It was one guy. Don't be so judgy. Yeah, well, I talked to Roberta at the Grill. And there's still a bartending position open if you wanted to get a job. Well, I figured she'd still be pissed about the last time I worked there. I think she's desperate. I'll check it out. - Yeah? - Don't act so surprised. I just... I didn't know how long you planned on sticking around. - Well, there is back rent due. - There's back everything, Mom. Like I said, I'll check it out. - Who's that? - It's Caroline. Easy. Yeah. Come in. Hi, Mrs. Donovan. Yeah. Okay, well, we're gonna be late. - So let's just get going. - Yeah. - Hey. - Hi. - How are you? - Good. Damon hasn't said a word to me. Every time I try to talk, he shuts me down. - Think he's trying to find Katherine? - I don't know. He waited 145 years only to find out that Katherine could not care less. And it's gotta hurt, right? And it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. - You have every reason to be upset. - Mm-hm. - What are you gonna do? - About what? Isobel, my vampire birth mother, who's related to my ancestor, Katherine who screwed over your brother? Nah. I haven't thought about it at all. I'm sorry I brought it up. It'd be nice if we could get through a day without having to deal with it. No vampire mother or brother... No vampires at all? No vampires but you. I just wanna get us back to normal stuff like school and homework. Fun. Ooh, that sounds good to me, when do we start? We can watch a movie at my place. Uh, with your mom and a six-pack? You don't really help the situation. You could at least try to be nice. Oh, I'm sorry. It's hard for me to show kindness to people that hate me. I'm not that evolved. So a movie tonight? Whatever you wanna do is fine by me. - But I'm late and I gotta go. - Okay. All right. And the keypad is for texting which is what you do when you want to avoid talking to someone. Anna, it's Jeremy. Uh... - I haven't heard from you in a while. - Ha, ha. - Okay. - I didn't break it, I swear. I was showing Harper what you taught me. Marvelous device. - Who was that? - Jeremy Gilbert. - Is that your boyfriend? - Of course not. - What do you think? - Very respectable. That's the goal. I can't say that I miss corsets. Susie Sunshine gave me her car keys. And her ATM card. - What's that? - I'll explain later. Where are you going? We have some business in town. We'll be back as soon as we can. - I trust that you'll keep an eye on things? - So I'm the babysitter now. Frederick, if this is going to work we have to cooperate with one another. - So you say. - I'll watch things, Miss Pearl. Thank you, Harper. I'm thinking nothing huge, dinner at the Grill, maybe a late movie... A double date? Two pair, out on a Friday night, coupled. Yeah, a double date. - You think that's a good idea? - Why not? You know, we all haven't gone out before and I don't want it to be uncomfortable for us. The couple dynamics have changed and there's been a little awkwardness between you, Matt and me and I just think it's important that we get over it. I don't know. You know what, I think that sounds like a great idea. - You do? - Yeah, yeah. A nice evening out with friends. Sounds fun, as in fun. Hm? - A double date it is. - Okay. Heh. So we will see you tonight. - Okay. - Okay. Okay. Ha, ha. Hello, Damon. Ever hear of knocking? An invitation wasn't necessary. I'm surprised that no living person resides here. Is it just you and your brother? Yeah, how do you keep out unwelcome vampires? Kill them. Damn. Have a seat, Damon. I was hoping we could have a word. Sure. Freak. We've taken up residence at a farmhouse outside of town. It'll suffice for now. - All 25 vampires? - Not all, some. I imagine that a few have already left town. Others are probably still in the woods, or like us, acclimating. - How'd they get out of the tomb? - I think the witch screwed up that part of her hocus-pocus. - Oh. I understand that the founding families still have a secret council? - And you're a part of it. - Pft. That's ridiculous. I've been in Mystic Falls since the comet. I'm up to speed. And so am I. Now that you've infiltrated the council, I need to know everything starting with a list of the members and their families. Everyone you've supplied with vervain. Yes, that will have to stop immediately. What exactly are you trying to achieve? Mystic Falls is our home, Damon. They took that from us. Our land, our home. It's time we rebuild. What, are you crazy? That was 1864. Wake up, woman. The world has moved on. As a reward, I'm willing to give you what you want most. - I want nothing... - Katherine. You wouldn't even know where she was. You've been underground a century and a half. Katherine and I were best friends long before we came to Mystic Falls. I know how she thinks, I know her patterns, I know where to find her. I no longer have any desire to see Katherine ever again. There's no way I'm gonna play the role of your little minion. I'm not asking for your help, Damon. Finding Katherine was just a mere gesture of kindness. The rest is nonnegotiable. I have 400 years on you, little boy. I'll rip you from limb to limb without even blinking, and you know it. I'll be in touch. You got me flowers. Well, I figured it's a date, why not do it right? I would have driven too, but you're the one with the car. You know, you'd think that for someone who was around when the car was invented, that you'd have one. Oh, I have one. I just never drive it. You know, it's not too late to cancel. Why would we do that? I don't know. It just seems surreal. Like maybe we weren't meant to get to the normal part. That's exactly why we're gonna do it. We're gonna go out, have some fun and try to remember that we don't have to be so serious. Listen, when I decided to stay here and to get to know you it was so that I could do things like this. I could bring my girlfriend flowers, take her out on a date try to be normal. Have you ever even been on a double date before? Oh, absolutely. Uh, '72. Hef and the twins. - What? - Yeah. Playmates. I got Miss June. - Are you serious? - Mm. Miss Sommers? Yes. Hi, Pearl. Hi. This is my daughter Annabelle. Of course, Jeremy's friend. - Nice to see you, Miss Sommers. - Oh. Jenna. This property was in my brother-in-law's family for generations. It's one of the original structures in Mystic Falls. Used to be one of those old-fashioned drugstore thingies. - An apothecary? - Yeah. You don't say. Sorry if it's musty. No one's been in here for months. I'll use my imagination. Annabelle. Coming, Mother. - What's with the glasses inside? - My, um... Ahem. My eyes are a little sensitive today. - You're new around here. - Oh, on the contrary, I'm very old. Bourbon. Neat. I haven't been gone that long. I would remember someone who looked like you. Yeah? Where did you go? - Around. About. - Heh. Been there. Ha, ha. I love to see a man drown his sorrows. It's so sexy. It's more like nursing my wounds. And you? I was supposed to be interviewing for the bartender job but I think the manager blew me off. That's not very nice. Yeah. Last time I was in town, I slept with her boyfriend. - That's not very nice either. - It happens. Yes, it does. Kelly? - Kelly Donovan. - Jen! I heard you were back in town. Used to babysit me. - And then I used to party with her. - This woman is crazy. - Not as crazy as you. - Not anymore. - Well, sit, drink. - Uh, I shouldn't. I'm responsible now, haven't you heard? - Take a night off, it's good for the soul. - Great for the soul. Oh, wow. - This is not gonna end well. - Can't wait. I hate this house. It's better than the tomb. I didn't stay locked up for 145 years to end up locked up here. Maybe you should quit complaining. - You gonna stop me? - Let it be, Frederick. - You heard what Pearl said. - I don't care what Pearl said. What you got, boy? Try that again. Back off. Back off. - We don't fight each other. - I want out of this house. - Why can't we go into town? - Eventually. But for now, we keep a low profile. - No one knows who I am. - The Salvatore brothers do. And I wish to hell I could run into them. They're the reason we were caught in the first place. So, uh, Matt, how do you like working here? Uh, it's not that bad. Wait staff tips out pretty good. They can't keep a bartender to save their lives but... I actually put my mom up for the job. How's that been, having Kelly back? You know, same old Kelly. She's trying, sort of. Kelly and my mom were best friends growing up. That's how Matt and I first met. We shared a crib together. You're kidding. No, we've known each other our whole lives. Whoo! - You gotta be kidding me. - Little Jen. - Oh, my God. I know. - It's big Jen now. Let's have another one. How many is that? Ha-ha-ha. Where are you going? Bethanne and I are going out for a bit. Hit the town. Kick up our heels. But we're not supposed to leave. Miss Pearl made that very clear. You gonna stop me? I didn't think so. - Anna. - Surprised? I thought you and your mom were leaving town. Change of plans. I'm sorry, I thought you'd be psyched. No, no, no. I mean, I am. Of course I am. All right, then. Step aside. Heh. Don't be grumpy. It can't be that bad. You'd be surprised. My primary reason for existence has abandoned me and after today's events, the remains of the shaky ground that I walk on are about to go kaboom. Let's get hammered. Let's. - Whoo! Ha-ha-ha. - Ha-ha-ha. At least they're having fun. They're drunk. Remember when Elena's parents busted us here after homecoming? - Oh, my God, yes. - We were wasted. It was the first time I got drunk. I blame Matt. Her parents got seated at the next booth. Matt had me pretend that I was choking so we could get away. Except her dad was a doctor, so he jumped up to save her. And I ran and slipped on the wet floor and bit it. In front of everyone. Do you remember that? Three stitches, a hangover for days and I was grounded from seeing this one for a week. Ha, ha. Well, I'm gonna go to the restroom. - Elena - Hm? Quick, hide. We're not here. Why? Where did we go? Children under our care at 5 o'clock. This is not role-modelish. Damn. Hey, so, what made you and your mom decide to stay in town? Oh, she got this business opportunity. She's gonna open up a little store. It's always been her dream. So, yeah, we're staying. And I'm thinking about going back to high school. - So you'll be seeing a lot more of me. - Oh, yeah? Enough of homeschooling. You know, I'd like to be a normal teen for once. But I have to ask my mom first. She'll have an opinion. I wish you were there now. I have to write a paper. I was thinking about squeezing one more out on the vampires of Mystic Falls. Really? - Haven't you exhausted the subject? - No. No, I wanna go deeper, you know? I want to understand why people were labeled as vampires. I mean, maybe there is such a thing as vampires. Just different from the way we always thought they were. What do you mean? Well, maybe they're normal and good, just outsiders, you know. Um... Misunderstood. You're kidding, right? Don't you think it could be possible? You did give me all that info. Jeremy, I made it up, okay? I mean, you were all cute and floppy and I wanted to make a good impression. - Is there anything you're not good at? - Double dating. This is all kind of new to me. I usually keep to myself. I don't always fit in. - That's because you're that guy. - What guy? The guy who seems like he has everything. So the people that don't kind of run the other way. - Is that what I seem like? - Pretty much. Hm. - What a dick. - Yeah. Yeah. So, um... - What are you doing? - What? Well, the point of this was to show him how much you care about Stefan. You know, not to hopscotch down memory lane. - I was just trying to make conversation. - Try less. Caroline. Katherine. I'm sorry, you have the wrong person. Elena, come on. My mistake. - How's everything going? - Matt's cheating. No need, I'm awesome. Stefan Salvatore. - Is everything okay? - Everything's great. So you haven't seen him before? No, there was nothing familiar about him at all. Let's call it a night. Send Matt and Caroline home? No, the whole point of tonight was to not have to deal with this stuff. We need to get through one night. One normal night. You sure? No, I'm not sure. But I don't know what else to do. Look, if there's another vampire in town, he'll still be here tomorrow. We'll deal with it tomorrow. Okay. That's them. Come here. Yeah. Uh, yeah, this is much better than watching Damon visit Cougar Town. - No offense. - Don't remind me. I've always wanted to see this place. Yeah, I guess it's a bit much. Heh. Yeah, my entire house could fit in here, like, twice. I feel like I've been here before. It's weird. Do you guys wanna watch a movie or something? These are great. That's just a little hobby of mine. I did the entire Mustang series when I was 9. - You like cars? - That's an understatement. Come with me. So the thing about cherries, you have to... Mm-mm. Oh, my goodness. That's amazing. You were quick. And that would be my cue. You're giving up already? Oh, yeah. See you, guys. Prepare yourself, my friend. Whoa, wait. How do you have this? It got passed down through the family. Why don't you? I mean... Why don't you drive it? Well, it doesn't run. I mean, at least not that I could figure out. Why would you keep a car that doesn't run? - Be more of a girl right now. - Ha-ha-ha. Why don't you come take a look at this? Elena, remember the old Camaro your dad used to have? Of course. - I built and rebuilt that engine 20 times. - Wow. Well, I don't like sports cars. They're too hard to make out in. No, it wasn't that bad. - I'm sorry, man. - No, no. Don't worry about it. You and Elena, you guys have a history and ignoring it doesn't do anybody any good. She's good with you. You know, I wasn't sure, but she's happy and I'm glad. All right, let's take a look at this. Ouch. Damn it. - Need some help? - Damn it. Stupid shoe. Ugh. Pick up your other foot. Ahem. There you go. Thanks. I think. Was that Damon Salvatore you were with? The one and only. Do you know him? We go way back. He still live out by Miller Lane? He lives in the old boarding house. By Wickery Bridge. He's still in there if you wanna say hi. I'd rather stay here and talk to you. Oh. Nice. Very smooth with the shoe and the flirt. But I'm a little drunk. And hot guy plus drunk me equals very bad things. I'm pretty sure you'd like it. I'm sorry. That was a seriously lame pick-up. I'm sorry. That's a nice scent you're wearing. What is it? I don't know. Ha, ha. It was a gift. And that is a cab, so... Vervain. Making it hard to find something to eat in this town. - Caroline. - I don't wanna talk about it. You're being ridiculous. And insecure and stupid, but that doesn't change the fact that Matt's in love with you and I'm the backup. - You're not the backup. - Yes, I am. I'm Matt's Elena backup. I'm your Bonnie backup. Now it's about me and Bonnie? You don't get it. Why would you? You're everyone's first choice. Piece of cake. You know what? Why don't you guys go ahead and take it for a spin? - Really? - Yeah. Caroline. You all right? - Lf it's not vampires, it's girlfriends. - Mm. All right, roast beef, turkey. What do you want? Oh, let's do the works. Pile it high. All right, I like your style. Will you grab the bread for me? Okay. - What are you doing? - Just a cut. Will you hand me that towel? I can't. You got a problem with blood, Anna? Mm-mm. What's the matter? It's just blood, Anna. - What are you doing? - I knew it. Go for it. Jeremy. Jenna. Hey, what's, uh? - What's up? - Regret. Make sure you lock that up. Did I just pass their driveway? Uh, I think it's up there. This is an amazing car. Did I pass? - Um... - The whole double date thing was obviously a test to see how I would do around Elena. I don't know. You were reminiscing about the Elena years all night, so... Caroline, that stuff came before, okay? It's not just gonna go away. - I know that, okay? - No. No, you don't. Because you're letting it turn you into a crazy person. Look, it's my fault. I, you know... I made it pretty clear early on that Elena still means something to me. But all that talk, it was just two old friends and some memories. Tonight wasn't about me and Elena. I was there because I wanted to be with you. And I don't know what this means or what we are but I do know that you're the only person I want to be in this car with right now. I don't even know if this makes sense because I'm not really that good at expressing myself... No, no. I think you're doing just fine. Ow! - Sports cars. Mm. - Yeah. Now that you got me here what are you gonna do with me? I'm going to... Going to do this. - Mom - Damon? Oh, my God. Matt. Oh, my God. - I gotta... - It's fine, just go. I'll take her home. Thanks, man. - Where have you been? - Um, I needed some air. For three hours? Tell me, where have you been? Out. I was out. Annabelle, don't do this. I can't fight you too. What? I'm sorry. - Sorry I'm bailing. - Just wish you'd let me drive you home. Normal people don't have chaperones or bodyguards or babysitters. - We're normal tonight, remember? - I know, I get so worried about you. Stefan, I can't live every minute afraid that someone's gonna come after me. I won't. That's not living. Okay. - Call me when you get home safe? - Mm-hm. Okay. - Bye, Stefan. - Goodbye. Don't look at me like that. - Are you crazy? - Save the lecture, look... Damn it. I remember them. From 1864. They were in the tomb. Yeah. About that. Matt. - Matt. - I don't wanna hear it, Mom. Matty, please. Do you know what I was doing tonight, Mom? I was having fun. Trying to forget about all the crap that I have to deal with every day. Just enjoy a night with my friends. And then, there you are. Wasted at the bar, where I work, by the way to pay the bills that you don't pay. And then you're off acting like a freaking kid? Hooking up with some guy half your age. I'm the kid, Mom. You're supposed to be responsible for me. I know, Matt. How was your night? Oh, same old, same old. You? Yep. - So where is Bethanne? - She won't be coming back. What happened? Where is she? Well, you were right. We shouldn't have left. No. Hungry? Next time, you'll listen to me. I'm home. Teeth brushed, ready for bed. Safe and sound. Oh, good, good. I'm glad. Is everything all right? You sound serious. No, no, no. Uh... Not tonight. You still have a few more minutes left of normal. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, okay? I had a really nice time on our date tonight. - Such a liar. - No, I'm serious. In a way, it was exactly what it was supposed to be. I had a really nice time too. Could you help me out a little bit? What the hell? I could have killed you. Yeah, but you didn't. I should have. But you didn't. How did you know? I knew this girl Vicki. She, uh... She was attacked by an animal, a bite to the neck. She started acting crazy. You know, weird, and it seemed like drugs but then you showed me those articles. And then I saw your face and how it changed that night in the cemetery when I kissed you. Look. You know you can't tell anyone, right? Who would believe me? You'd be surprised. Why didn't you? Kill me? I don't know. Maybe I'm a sucker for guys like you. Like what? Lost. Why would you confront me about it? Why would you risk it? Because if it was true, maybe... Maybe it's true about Vicki. And also because I want you to turn me. ripped by looxlike Previously on The Vampire Diaries... For over a century, I have lived in secret until now. I know the risk, but I have to know her. She's a dead ringer for Katherine. Anna, your face? - It's nothing. - It didn't look like nothing. Matty tells me you broke his heart. He found his rebound girl. There's a tomb underneath the church. You saved everyone in the church? 27 vampires, Damon. You can't just bring them back. It's Harper. I'm glad you found us. Annabelle, close the door, please. You guys have been watching the same thing the whole time? There are over 150 channels. It's called a remote control. This button changes the channel. Hold it like this. - Did you get enough, sweetheart? - For now. Are you hungry? Do you want a little? No. Thank you, Miss Givens. Why don't you lay down for a while and get some rest? She's fine. Aren't you, Miss Givens? Of course, I am. I'm fine. Mystic Falls Team 1x16 - There Goes the Neighborhood Bawacog, Croutch, Dark_Chii, McFly, MiniBen314, Thirteen. What? I'm trying to sleep. I was just making sure you were alive. I'm sorry, sweetie, it was a late night. My head is throbbing. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't bring the party home. And I'm pretty sure the neighbors would appreciate it, too. It wasn't a party, it was one guy. Don't be so judgey. I talked to Roberta at the Grill and... there's still a bartending position open. If you wanted to get a job. Well, I figured she'd still be pissed about the last time I work there. I think she's desperate. I'll check it out. - Don't act so surprised. - Well, I mean, I just... I didn't know how long you planned on sticking around. - Well, there's back grant due. - It's back in everything, mom. Like I said, I'll check it out. - Who's that? - That's Caroline. Easy. Yeah, come in. Okay, we're gonna be late, so, let's just get going. - How are you? - Good. Damon hasn't said a word to me. Every time I try to talk to him, he shuts me down. Do you think he's still trying to find Katherine? I don't know. He waited 145 years, only to find out that Katherine could not care less. That's gotta hurt, right? And it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. What, like you were honest with me, going behind my back To apply for the one thing I wanted more than anything? The reason I couldn't talk to you earlier- It's not about my dad. It was about my mom. She's sick, and I don't know what's gonna happen. It's not working exactly as I'd hoped. I need you to write Lily another prescription. I doubt the authorities Would be pleased to know what you've been doing. It's said that we're all strapped to fortune's wheel... Nowhere is this truer Than the ever-changing landscape of love. As one couple enjoys an upswing... Another is plunged downwards. But top or bottom, don't get too comfortable, Because the one thing you can rely on Is that the wheel will keep on turning. All right, I'm heading to my mom's for breakfast. Hey, hey, hey. You're coming in late and leaving early all week. I'm starting to feel cheap. Oh, I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately. Just with everything going so well with my dad- Hey, Serena, no worries. Okay? Mm. Look, I love being your crash pad, But, you know, maybe you'd feel better if you moved back in With your mom while she's getting her treatment. And have to see Jenny's lying face first thing in the morning? No, thank you. That is not the same girl Chuck came home with last night. Has he, uh, come to talk to Lily yet? Do you want me to talk to him? No, I already tried, but thank you. I'm gonna come to your lacrosse game after brunch. Judge away. Shame turns me on. Hey, man, she's going to Lily's for brunch. Maybe a stack of waffles will help your hangover? I find the cause is the best cure. I gotta go. So I will see you later at the library, And I'm sorry about before With the Tisch catalog. It's fine. Dan, I don't know how to do this. We've been tiptoeing around each other for days. Look, we're-we're two artists in a relationship, And sometimes we're gonna be competing for the same things, So, all right, we're- we're-we're smart people. Let's come up with... Some rules, A list of topics that are off-limits. Isn't that what got us in trouble with Tisch? No, no. This will be different, Because we'll know... What we don't know. Hey, listen to me. I'm quoting Donald Rumsfeld. Okay, until the sting of Tisch has worn off, I - I don't think we should talk about classes. Like, if-if you're taking playwriting with Sam Shepard, It may hurt my heart, But if you take intro to mime, I need to know everything. I want to be with you when you buy your leotard and your beret. Playwriting competitions- I think we can go out for the same ones, But we can't read each other's submissions. And looking forward, I guess it's the same thing With internships and jobs. So the only things we can talk about openly Are-are politics, "jersey shore"... And where we want to eat... Which reminds me, I actually, Um, I need to get ready. I'm gonna be late for breakfast at my dad's. Are you sure you don't want to come? No, I'm sorry. I, uh, I have something. Oh, oh, is it something related to our list? Actually, yeah. Well, thank you for not sharing. See? I can't believe how much easier that is. Ooh! Another sext session with your new b.F.? Okay, I'd hardly call Elliot a boyfriend. Between me spending all my time with my mom And him being in every club in school, We haven't even been on a first date. Hey. Still using cooking as therapy? yeah. Ooh. Excuse me. Sorry. Good morning, everyone. Oh, look at all of this food. It's obscene. You okay? How are you feeling? Can I get you something? Please, everyone, relax. What I need is For the people who love me to treat me like they always do. Has anybody heard from Chuck? Yeah, uh, he's-he's sorry he couldn't make it. Charles has the right idea. If he were here, then I'd really worry. Anyway, one thing I'll say about William's treatment... Is that I have not lost my appetite. I want waffles. Music to my ears. Dad. What's he doing here? I invited him. Hmm. Looks great, Lil. Really great. So I hope you'll all join me For this doctors without borders gala tomorrow at Columbia. I must admit, I feel a bit silly about the whole thing. Clearly, Columbia's run out of alumni to honor, If the best they could come up with is... Me. False humility-check. I'll be there. I hope you don't mind. I invited Nate and Blair. I really want them to get to know you. Terrific. I'd be honored. Well, Rufus and I would love to come. Uh, why don't you grab a plate? Help yourself. What? He left when I was 2. The man's a total stranger to me. You have to at least give him a chance. No, I don't. Okay, everyone. Let's sit down and enjoy this wonderful food. Dad, here. Sit here. Rufus, scoot over, please. Please. Thank you. Hey, Blair, what's up? I thought I'd come and watch your lacrosse game. So if you could make sure that there's a seat for me in v.I.P., Preferably next to an injured cute player, But not one on scholarship. Since when do you care about lacrosse? Since I desperately needed to get away from N.Y.U. Everyone's planning their living arrangements for next year. It's so depressing. I thought your friends asked you to live with them. In a postwar building On a street that's not even numbered. It's lettered. And its big selling point is that it's above a falafel stand. All right, well, listen, hey, I gotta go. There's no v.I.P. Area, But there's a nice set of bleachers. Blair? You probably don't remember us, But we met you at your mom's fashion show. Uh, yeah, of course. Hair band girl. I never forget a good accessory. We're celebrating. We just got the most amazing apartment ever. You would totally approve- prewar, doorman, And the best part-fauchon is supposedly opening up next door. Can I ask you something? What do you think about falafel? Ew. Isn't that the kind of food paralegals eat? I never thought I'd see Blair Waldorf On the upper West Side. Unless... Oh, my God. Are you transferring to Columbia? I hope so. N.Y.U. Is so beneath you. I- it's true! I'm a Columbia girl now. As you should be. Yay! You know, the last time I was invited To a ceremony in my honor, I had to slaughter a chicken. Well, at least you've been honored. I've-I've never been honored, I did win a contest once at boarding school, And I think there was a plaque, But I'm not sure that really counts. What kind of contest? It was for drinking hot chocolate At the winter fair. I had a buddy that went to Exeter, And the stories he tells would make Keith Richards blush. Yeah, well, um... I wasn't really into the party scene. I was there more for the academics. It sounds like you've made some great choices, Serena. I'm glad. The bad ones have a way of... Following you. You know, I've never heard that hot chocolate story. Yeah, well, there are a lot of stories you haven't heard. True, but I did hear this one. My ex-boyfriend went to boarding school with Serena, And he tells a great one about her and this teacher one night At a bed-and-breakfast- Jenny. Although I'm sure they were just studying. You know, like she says, she was all about the academics. I have an announcement, everyone. I've decided I'm moving back in. That way, I can be here with you, mom. And it'll just be really great to be back in my old room again. Don't worry, Jenny. We'll- we'll find a place for you. Well, that's great, Because I'm moving in, too. Downstairs. I was waiting to tell you Until the board approved my sublet tomorrow. But I'm very excited. All my family together under one roof again. Better watch out, Humphreys. They say love makes a family, but on the Upper East Side, Everyone knows it's real estate. Hey, dad, I'm sorry I'm running so late. Can you save me a waffle? Always. I'll put one in the oven for you. Uh, how's Lily? She's great. And you? How you holding up? I mean, it must be weird. Lily's ex-husband is now her doctor. It was at first. But the fact is, He's just her doctor now. I'm her husband. Uh, by the way, Vanessa can't make it. Said she had to be somewhere. Oh, right. The, um, internship at CNN. They called me as one of the references she listed. Ah. Yeah, I-I wouldn't know. She and I are Keeping our creative lives separate right now. Uh, you might wanna discuss this one, Since it involves her going to Haiti for three months. You know what, dad? I think I'm gonna have to cancel that waffle. Okay. All right. See you. Hey. Um... I know this gala tomorrow night seems boring, But I thought, uh, if there's a girl you like, Perhaps you'd like to invite her. Actually, I'm gay. So if I was going, which I'm not, Then my date would be a guy named Elliot. That's cool. Uh... Bring Elliot. I'd love to meet him- Please stop acting like You and I have any kind of relationship. You're right. Um... I have a lot to make up for. I'm sorry. The window for that Closed somewhere between my 12th birthday and, um... My suicide attempt. Don't worry. I'm fine now. Going through all that without a father made me realize That I don't need one. I understand that I've lost the right To be a father to you, but... If there's any way that we can get to know each other... On your terms... Serena may want a relationship with you, But I don't. Serena, stop it! You can't do that. The room was on loan, and I'm taking it back. And I don't care if I did leave it in the closet. Borrowing without asking is stealing, Jenny. Dad, tell her to stop! Uh, Serena, please. I think it's great That you're moving back in, but this is Jenny's room now. All her things are here. You can stay in Chuck's old room. No way. That room is haunted by Chuck's depravity. Jenny can take it. I'm sure it wouldn't bother you. Okay, what-what's going on with you two? Nothing. Fine. Whatever. Serena can have her old room back. All right, that's ridiculous. Serena, I'll have Laryssa make up Chuck's bed for you. I'm confident that there's no depravity That brand-new e. Braun sheets can't erase. How many problems does Jenny have to cause Before you realize she's the problem? Hey. Hey. Thanks for meeting me here. The library started Did you apply for a documentary internship in Haiti? Yeah. The producer just called. I... I got the job. When were you planning on telling me about this? This morning, And then you put internships on the "do not discuss" list, And I panicked. Why? Why? This is not about competing for something. This is-this is about our relationship. But both of those have been so tied up in each other, And this job is a huge deal for me, Dan. But you can't pretend like you going away for three months Is not gonna affect us. I think I didn't wanna face that. It was just so much easier when we were just friends And we could talk about things. All right, is-is that what you want, then? You wanna go back to just friends? I don't know. ¶ Anyway, uh, Serena might be a little upset. Well, you were right. She can stay in Charles' room. It's getting crowded around here. No kidding. Throw in your ex-husband, And now we're a Nancy Meyers movie. I hope you don't mind. I know it's awkward. Well, I mean, it is a little unusual, don't you think, For a doctor to move in to his patient's building? Well, not if he's the father of the patient's children. What are you getting at? Is it possible that... Will's also trying to get close to you? Absolutely not. I'm the one that told William to stay away If he couldn't make good On the promises he made to the children. And I'm sorry if this is uncomfortable for you. But if William wants to move in to be closer to the kids, I'm not gonna stand in his way. Mmm. Holland? Hi, it's Rufus. Um... I have a favor to ask. ...And the social scene at N.Y.U. Was criminal. Ten freshmen, a keg And a tub of hummus on a card table isn't a party. It's a tragedy. Hmm. Blair Waldorf just got a text. It's like watching lady gaga set fire to a piano! Who's it from? Serena. Apparently, Jenny Humphrey is claiming squatter's rights On her old room. It's disgusting. Oh, my God. Jenny can't do that to Serena van Der Woodsen. So what's the plan of attack? It's between Serena and Jenny. Anyway, I've had some recent bad luck Getting involved in real estate disputes. So I was thinking Warren-Tricomi mani/pedis? I told you. It doesn't matter if she transfers. Blair Waldorf was over The minute she became a student at N.Y.U. Are you third personing me? I third person people, not you! Exactly. You're Blair Waldorf- fashion icon, queen b. And probably the future President of the United States. Or Chanel. Jenny Humphrey just kicked Serena van Der Woodsen Out of her room, and you're not gonna do anything? I would. I just don't have any dirt on Jenny right now. Ahem. I do. Jenny and her boyfriend sold my boyfriend Adderall A couple of months ago. Lose the judge-face, Zoe. He took a very heavy course load this semester. Jenny Humphrey, drug dealer. I can work with that. We hear Blair Waldorf's headed for a comeback. But if she wants to keep her fans happy... Send. She better keep serving up the hits. Sleep well? Don't even, Serena. I can't believe you posted on "Gossip Girl" That I'm a drug dealer. I didn't post anything. Fine. Maybe you didn't send the actual e-mail, But everyone knows you have Blair do your dirty work. I can't help what Blair does. And you are the one who played Pablo Escobar To underage preppy pill poppers. My dad and I were finally in a good place After a really, really bad patch. And if he finds this out, it'll destroy everything. Well, maybe Rufus should know That his daughter is dealing drugs. After all, you thought my father should know All my adventures at boarding school. Fine. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything, But maybe you shouldn't be lying to your dad. Are you really lecturing me about lying to a parent? My dad knows who I am, But you're building a relationship with yours That's a complete lie. I can't believe that you are willing to destroy My relationship with my father because you're too scared That yours won't love you for who you really are. You were right. We need to make these decisions together. But the truth is, consulting with someone else Doesn't come easily to me. I get it. Vanessa, I totally support you going. Thank you, but I'm not taking the internship. I'd rather lose the job than lose you. You're not gonna lose me if you go to Haiti. We're-we're-we're gonna find a way to make this work. All right? But you gotta go. I don't want to, and we both know It's better for our relationship if I stayed. I mean, three months is too long, and... I just wanna be with you. Are you sure? You're-you're making this decision for you? Not me? Not-not-not even us? Uh... Okay. Let's find a way to celebrate tonight, then-a fun way. We could, uh... Let's see. You want to sneak 40s Into the midnight showing of "the lost weekend" At film forum? Yeah. Actually, I'm supposed to have drinks With the woman from CNN, and I owe it to her To tell her my decision face to face. Okay. All right. Well, uh, tomorrow night, then. Absolutely. Blair. Hey. You never made it to my lacrosse game yesterday. What are you doing? I could ask you the same question. Does Serena know you're trying to pull off plaid? Seriously, Blair, I expected Chuck To go back to his old habits after your breakup, But I'd actually thought you'd grown up a little. Whatever do you mean? Blair Waldorf on the upper West Side Two days in a row? It pretty much looks like You're pretending to be a Columbia student, and not that I care much about what Jenny Humphrey does these days, But I saw that smackdown on "Gossip Girl." she was dealing drugs. It's called an intervention. It's called you going back to plotting and conniving, Okay, and that's the Waldorf equivalent Of Chuck going around, sleeping with every call girl in the city And avoiding any kind of emotional contact. Okay. So I'm pretending to be a student here. But it's only because I'm living a nightmare. I'm trapped at N.Y.U., and- and it's too late to transfer. So what's wrong with cheering myself up with a little denial And a "Gossip Girl" blast or two? Nothing, I guess, but you can always make it right With whoever you take down online. And who knows if Chuck's even gonna have time To do that with Lily or not? Morning, sunshine. I've got the Dom '95, your favorite. No, thank you. And I much prefer Roederer nowadays. Oh, I apologize. Nadine left behind some of her intimates. She must have wanted an excuse to come back. Or maybe she just left in a hurry. If you're here to mock me, I'm not in the mood... Unless you have some punishment in mind. We've broken up, Chuck, And frankly, I don't care what you do. But I can't sit by and just watch you avoid Lily. I'm actually quite busy with work. Well, you had time for Nadine. Trust me, she was work. And I promise you, Lily is not sitting around, Wondering when she's going to hear from Chuck bass. Justify not seeing Lily all you want. You and I both know what this is. You've lost Bart, Elizabeth betrayed you, And the thought of losing Lily terrifies you. Please. Spare me your N.Y.U. Freshman psych analysis. Perhaps if you were at an Ivy, You'd have better insight. Spotted-b. Claiming to be a co-ed at Columbia, When everyone knows she's a zero at N.Y.U. Poor b. First she lost Chuck and now her dignity. "Gossip Girl" blast? No, it's nothing. Look, Chuck, sleep with every Nadine in town for all I care, But don't close your heart to Lily. You and I both know that in the end, The person you'll end up hurting the most is you. Amalia, it's Blair. Are you still waiting on me to sign the lease? Well, tell the girls it's a yes. I'll take the apartment. You make your bed, you lie in it, b. Too bad yours is in the East village. Hey. Were you able to convince your brother to come tonight? No. And please don't act like you care. I'm sorry? I just got off the phone with my dad. Apparently, someone didn't want him living in the building, So they gave him a bad recommendation, and it worked. The board didn't approve him. You're behind this, right? I am. How could you do that? I don't expect you to understand, Serena, But I felt like it was the right thing to do. Look, I know you and my father used to hate each other, But that was a long time ago. You are the only one Still having this fight. He has moved on. Is everything okay? Rufus went to the board and blocked dad From getting the apartment. Serena, that's absurd. Rufus would never do something like that. I would, to protect my marriage. I don't trust William's intention, And I don't want him living under my roof. Rufus, you're being completely paranoid. At first he tried he tried to isolate you from your family, And now he's moving into the building To get closer to you. I told you, he's moving in to be close to the children. All I see here is jealousy run amok. Mom, come on. We should go. Lil Rufus, it's probably best if you don't come tonight. What are you two doing here? This is an alumni event. Columbia puts aside a bunch of tickets for students. We'd invite you to join, but they were very explicit- No fake students allowed. Hey, doctor. If you'll excuse me a moment, I should go say hello to a few old colleagues. I'll be right back. Don't rush. Do I want to know what you had to promise him To get him to come? No, it wasn't me. It's not like he even listens to me, And he probably just ran out of girls to have sex with. I, uh, want to apologize. My absence has been inexcusable. Well, I know my situation brings up a lot of issues for you. You've had to deal with so much loss. But I'm not gonna lose you. I'm here for you, Every step of the way. You, uh, you look good, Lily. In fact, you look better than good. You look great. Thank you. I feel great. So you had better be prepared For a lifetime of family brunches, Because I'm not going anywhere. Okay. Oh. Hey. I bailed on the Columbia gala. I was kind of in the mood For watching a pretentious movie I don't understand With you and Vanessa. No Vanessa, but pretentious movie? check. Look, not that I'm not thrilled to expose you To the joys of Russian cinema, but does this visit of yours Have anything to do with the "Gossip Girl" blast? ¶ science will just have to... ¶ Is it true? Are you dealing? ¶ all right ¶ I was, When I was dating Damien, yeah. But, no, not anymore. This could so easily get back to dad. I I think it'd be better if he heard it from you. Are you insane? I - I mean, you and I both know that's a suicide mission. Look... If you want him to have faith in you, Jenny, Maybe you need to have a little faith in him. ¶ how many times can this be repeated? ¶ Yeah, all right. I'll go see if I can dig out a dress from my old closet. Maybe I can catch him at the gala-you know, Big crowd, lots of witnesses. Oh. Uh, is everything okay with you and Vanessa? Yeah. Yeah, well, at least I think it is. It's been hard to say lately. Maybe you need to have a little faith, too. ¶ all right, given our history, what can you expect? ¶ It's great to see you again. You, too. What a pleasure. Good to see you. Good to see you, Bob. Dad, um, do you have a second? I want to talk to you about something. Sure. Please sit. ¶ not to let it go ¶ You know, the contest that I won at boarding school... It was for drinking... Absinthe, And that was probably one of my-my tamer nights. The truth is I-I've had a pretty wild past, And I've been a part of more than one scandal. Serena, I don't care about any of that. ¶ I know. I guess I was just... Scared that... Once mom gets better, You... You may not wanna stick around If you knew the real me. ¶ Honey, I want nothing more Than to be a part of all of your lives again. I'm trying to figure out how big a role I can play Without stepping on anybody's toes. Yeah. You know, I love Rufus... But you're my dad. He's not. Aw, Serena finally has The perfect relationship with her daddy. But will her dream come true be Rufus' worst nightmare? Oh, of course. The theme of this evening seems to be torture. You're not a fan of, uh, university galas? Quite the opposite. I'm in my natural habitat. It's torture because it's at Columbia. And by some cruel Twist of fate, I go to N.Y.U. It's like being locked out of lanvin On the day they get fall in. Sorry, I don't mean to ramble on. I'm Blair Waldorf. Wait. I know that name. You read "Gossip Girl"? No, I read college applications. I work in the admissions office at Columbia. I was just looking at your application today. I'm sorry? Look, it's, um, it's not our policy to do this, But e-mails go out tomorrow, and you're standing right here, So welcome to Columbia, Blair Waldorf. Champagne, please. Whoa. Are you okay? You got crazy eyes. I think I just became a Columbia student... For real. It doesn't make any sense. I - I never applied. Oh, my God. I cannot believe he actually did it. Months ago, Chuck joked about applying for you. He said you had too much pride to admit N.Y.U. Was a mistake. Looks like he actually did something right for once. Congratulations. Oh, thanks. You're not at the gala? Yeah. I thought it'd be best for everybody if I didn't go. I see my father is still working his magic. It's not all him. Yes, it is. It's just that no one else sees it. You make my mom happier than all of her ex-husbands combined. It should be you with her tonight, Not some guy who pulled a disappearing act. Well, I am already in the tux. Elliot, what are you doing here? Your father invited me? He said he didn't think you had plans tonight. Not me. I hope that's okay. It's okay to be mad at him, Eric, But it's okay to let him try to make it right, too. All right. I'm heading out. Wish me luck. You don't need it. You're the only one for her. After Dr. Van Der Woodsen organized The response to the polio outbreak in India, He moved on to Somalia, Where he served as a field coordinator in huddur. While there, he oversaw everything From shrapnel wounds to cancer to chronic illness. Rufus. I'm surprised to see you here, of all places. Holland, if you'll excuse me. I'll catch up with you later. I need to talk to Lily. Rufus, what are you doing here? I'm sorry about today. I don't want will to come between us. I don't give a damn who lives where. I just want to be with you. ...Improving access to primary health care To remote villages. He has done all of this While continuing to build his reputation As a leader in the progressive treatments of cancer. Lily looks amazing, doesn't she? I mean, being sick hasn't slowed her down at all. Yeah, she is the picture of health. ...Invaluable member of our team. Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. William van Der Woodsen. Thank you. Thank you, Dean. Thank you. I had another speech prepared for you this evening, But then my beautiful daughter Serena came to me, And she was so honest and brave, That it made me realize that, uh, I need to be honest, too. I made many personal sacrifices to be a doctor, But I never quite realized until now that... The greatest sacrifice of all Was my family. So the most important thing that I can say here tonight Is not to all of you, But, uh, to them. I made the biggest mistake of my life walking out on you, And I promise to do everything in my power To make it up to you, to make it right again, Because I love you. My, oh, my. Did Dr. Van Der Woodsen Just make a public pass at Rufus' wife? Looks like this doctor without borders needs a few boundaries. Well, I guess you were right about William, But it doesn't matter how he feels about me, Because I don't love him. I love you, Rufus. I know you're comfortable with him, Lil, but I'm not. I need you to find another doctor. Look, I understand why you don't trust him, But surely, you trust me. Look, I don't want to fight with you, Rufus. Okay, we'll put it aside till tomorrow. Let's get you home. you know what? Right now, more than anything, I just need a quiet night, alone. Lily. Please, just for tonight, I need you to sleep at the loft. Lily. Jenny Humphrey. Uh, yeah? You bitch. You told me you were selling me oxy, But those pills were antibiotics. Yeah, I didn't get high. I got a yeast infection. ¶... For an audience of one ¶ ¶ ooh ¶ Dad. Look, I can explain. I came here to tell you. Jenny, please save your breath. Like I'm gonna believe a word out of your mouth. Get your things and come with me. We're going home... To Brooklyn. ¶ ooh, ooh ¶ What did you want to talk about that couldn't wait? The producer from CNN just flew into town, And I'm gonna meet her for drinks in 20 minutes. I want you to take the internship. Come on, Dan. I don't want us to be making decisions based on fear. All right? So whatever happens, we'll figure it out. Thank you. I, uh... Got you some stationery So we can write some handwritten letters to each other While you're away. That is so romantic. Maybe if we become famous writers one day, They'll publish 'em after we die, Like Sartre and De Beauvoir. Maybe, but don't let that stop you From writing some of the dirty stuff. Just a little bit. I'm gonna miss you so much. Not, uh, not if you don't go. You're gonna be late. You don't want to be late to meet your new boss. Get out of here. Thank you. Oh, hey, Holland. Hey. Have you seen your mother? No. I think she left. Oh. Is everything okay? If Dr. Van Der Woodsen loves your mother As much as he said he did in that speech, Then maybe there's something she should know about Rufus. Listen carefully, s. Holland has a tale to tell. Apparently, her upstairs neighbor Has been coming downstairs. Good night. Good night. Take care. Good to see you. Good to see you. Bye. Dad! Serena, I thought you left. Um... Is everything okay? Not really, no. I heard what you said in your speech, And if you want to fight for mom, then you should do it. Ahem. Hi. I think you girls got some misinformation. I will be attending Columbia in the fall. Oh. Well, that's awesome. We have an extra room in the apartment. Maybe you wanna move in with us? No. I don't live with the help. Oh, and you wanted to see a Blair Waldorf takedown? Well, cross me again, And you'll experience one firsthand. Hello? Hey, it's Jenny. I want to talk to you about Lily. Obviously, I'm not a doctor, And it's kind of a long story how I know this, But there's something weird about her medicine. Elliot's the perfect mix of smart and fun. He speaks three languages, But he has a subscription to "People" magazine. Oh. Hey. I invited dad over for some hot chocolate. I - I hope that's okay. If it's a bad idea, I can- No, it's okay. William, join us. Hey, Rufus. It's Serena. Hi. Is your mom there? Um... Yeah, she-she's here. She's just really tired right now. I'll let her know you called. They say that family are The people who will always take you in. But what if instead, they shut the door? I was just telling mom about my date with Elliot. We had a great time. Thank you. Oh, who was that? Oh, it was just Blair. Or even worse, let someone else take your place? What do you say, Serena? Who's your daddy? X.O.X.O., Gossip Girl. ♪ I come apart, baby ♪ ♪ But now I'm cool ♪ ♪ I didn't make it, surely, playin' by the rules ♪ ♪ I come apart, baby ♪ ♪ But now I'm fine ♪ ♪ I'm checkin' trouble, sure, movin' down the line ♪ ♪ I come apart, baby, but that's okay ♪ ♪ 'Cause trouble man don't get in the way ♪ ♪ I come apart ♪ No, no. What are you doing? No, don't do this! Don't do it! No! No! No! No! Why are you doing this? Get me out of here! Where'd you go? Come on, man. Why are you doing this? Please don't do this, man. No! No, please! Can't somebody help me? Somebody help me! No! [Grunting] [Shouting] Help! [Screaming] [Screaming continues] Hey, Jack, are you ready? We gotta go. - Hey, where's the costume? - It's itchy. Did you try the long sleeves on underneath? I don't want to be Spider-Man anymore. - Why not? - I don't know. Okay. Well, you have to make up your mind by tomorrow, okay? - Okay. - Okay. You did a good job on the cookies. - Teamwork, right? - Teamwork. Right. Can I have one? You want a cookie? Can I have a cookie? What do you want, black cat or a pumpkin? Black cat. I mean, despite it's obvious origins in the Celtic festival of Samhain and the Christian All Saints Day, it really is a melting pot of various immigrants' traditions and beliefs. It became a little more commercialized in the 1950s with trick-or-treat, and today it rivals only Christmas in terms of popularity. All I asked was what he was doing this weekend. I'm toying with the notion of either going to the Edgar Allan Poe Shadow Puppet Theater or the reenactment of the 19th century Phantasmagoria. - I don't want to know. - Oh, yeah, you do. Phantasmagorias are these amazing pre-cinema projected ghost shows invented in France, where the showman attempted to spook the audience using science magic. And it just so happens that I have an extra ticket. Tempting. Guys, I wouldn't have to worry about losing my feminine curves if you all paid more attention to all the trees we're consuming around here. When did you become an eco-freak? - Baby, I was born green. - We're going to Detroit. What? It's Halloween weekend. Arson investigators have noticed a three-year trend in the days leading up to Halloween. Devil's Night. This unsub is killing only these three days out of the year. How's he doing it? He's burning his victims alive. He's abducting seemingly random people and dumping their bodies in abandoned parts of town. - He struck again last night. - Yeah. Tony Torrell, 40. He lives in the suburbs, but he was found 20 miles away in the Rivertown district. He's attacking the city at its most vulnerable time. What does he do during the rest of the year? He's dormant. You know, arsonists are typically white males between 17 and 25 who can't stay away from fire. Yeah, they're addicted to it, and there's no rehab. And they target dwellings, not people. So you're saying he burns his victims alive, but he's not an arsonist? Fire is simply his weapon. And Devil's Night gives him the perfect cover to kill. And we've got 48 hours before he disappears again. Well, his last victim was athletic. He wouldn't be easy to subdue. The offender must be just as strong or might have an upper hand if he's younger. Still, how does he transport his victims across the city and get them inside buildings without being noticed? [Hotch] Niccolo Machiavelli wrote, "If an injury has to be done to a man, it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared. " Now, I thought Devil's Night was Halloween Eve. You know, the moniker "Devil's Night" is somewhat deceiving. In Detroit, it's actually a three-day citywide cultural phenomenon, complete with masks, chaos, and costumes. Say that three times fast. - Sounds like Mardi Gras. - Yeah, a violent one. Vandals and amateur arsonists literally set hundreds of fires. Who burns their own city? It started as pranks in the 1930s but escalated in the 1970s with disenfranchised youth. Well, given today's economy, it must be a free-for-all. They've got record-breaking unemployment and foreclosures, leaving a lot of displaced, desperate people. And every single one of these victims suffered unimaginable pain. I'm sure that's what gets him off... watching them burn. It gives him power and control. The top of the whodunit list is first responders... firefighters, arson investigators, cops, and paramedics. Civil servants with a hero complex. All of whom will be helping us. - [Prentiss] This guy's angry. - Aren't they all? Not like this. Have you seen these? Extreme anger usually manifests from a quick temper, but this guy's patient. I'm gonna ask Garcia to notify us the minute that someone's reported missing. Burns three people annually. It's like his Christmas. Yeah, and the rest of the year he just plans... targeting his victims and then choosing the buildings he wants to kill them in. But there's a flaw in his plan. We know about it. [Man] We're stretched as it is, but we've set up a joint task force with the Detroit PD to catch this guy. That's pretty extensive. I'd say don't profile me, but you're in a roomful of suspects, right? [Hotch] A city full. [Reid] Victims abducted across every socioeconomic divide. And this son of a bitch is about to burn a few of them alive. Problem is we've gotta catch up. And we know he's gonna be watching. Well, we're gonna bust him this year. We've got two agents on the way to last night's crime scene. Great. I'll meet them there. I hope we find something soon. It gets dark early this time of year. - And we'll head to the morgue. - Hope you have a strong stomach. Gasoline was the accelerant? Gas vapors collect in a low, enclosed space. When he ignited, those vapors burned down to his bone. We call this a fourth-degree burn. There's a fracture on the back of his skull? - That's right. - Was that postmortem? No, it was antemortem bruising. He was struck from behind. Blitz attack. What's this on the face? Charred fabric. All of the victims have the same material on them. The fire fused the original garment to his flesh, then burned away, leaving behind these remains. - He's covering their faces? - That's my best guess, yes. He doesn't want his victims looking at him even though we wants to watch them die. It could be a sign of guilt or inadequacy. [Rossi] Now, wouldn't a guy like this want to see the terror in their eyes? Instead, he keeps them in the dark. He's covering their faces and setting them on fire. It's an execution. [Prentiss] It's easy to see why he sets fires down here. It's completely isolated. He can beat, torture, or burn somebody, and nobody would hear it. I never thought the FBI would be here for our fine city's tradition. I'm Al Garner with the DFD. Agents Morgan and Prentiss. I guess Devil's Night keeps you pretty busy, huh? Not as much as it did in the '80s. Used to get up to 600, 700 fires back then. - In three days? - Down to 115 last year. It still takes everything we got. Fortunately, we've had some help. Have the police increased their patrols in the Rivertown district? I wish they could, but the city's reeling from budget cuts. No. Detroit's Finest is a community group with over a thousand volunteers. [Door opens] [Prentiss] A thousand volunteers? [Morgan] Well, that just added another thousand names to Garcia's list. - Do you think he's one of them? - Can't rule anyone out. What is this place? It's an old engine factory. It's massive. Medieval. And from the Industrial Age, when this city was pumping out more cars and hit songs than anyplace else in the world. This is where we found Tony's charred remains. Well, the char pattern tracks back to here. That's where he stood when he started the fire. It's not the best vantage point. There's your escape exit. Yeah, except he didn't want that. He needs to watch the show. This is the moment he's been waiting for all year. One where he doesn't feel inadequate or rejected. So he watches as long as he can. Yeah, but fire's unpredictable. Every second in here, he's putting his own life at risk. This guy's obviously confident that he can get out of here before it's too late. But there was a fire alarm. My men were here in five minutes. - And he knew it. - How? [Prentiss] This unsub doesn't leave anything to chance. He knows exactly how long he's got with his victims. He probably knows response times or at least listens to them. [Police Dispatcher] All units, be advised of a robbery in progress at 9760 East Mills. [Male Deejay] Yep, this is your man, DJ Cutz, with an instant blast. The feds are in town cracking down on this year's Devil's Night, so I'd advise everyone to stay off them streets and keep them radios locked to FM 99 Detroit. ## [Rap] ## [Continues] [Reid] The first time I looked at these victims on the map, none of it made sense. Seven different victims, various ages, sex, and ethnicity. - What do you see now? - The first victim... - Often tells us the most. - Tommy Proctor. Well, his rap sheet is longer than the Nile. Looks like he's always walked on the dark side. The first kill inspired him. What's different about it? Two things. First of all, his body wasn't found for days. He was buried deep in the building. That often tells us that they know each other. Not to mention it took many botched attempts to burn him. Because the unsub didn't realize how difficult it is to actually burn a human body. Or it's overkill. He wanted Proctor to suffer the most. [Rossi] Which definitely makes it personal. If he knew the first victim, it's a good chance he knew them all. We just have to find out how. We can start by talking to Tony Torrell's wife. - [Door closes] - [Prentiss] How you doing? Uh, I'm fine. Uh, I'm here to see Agent Rossi. He's going to be with you in just a few minutes. I'm Agent Prentiss. Oh, I'm Kiersten Torrell. Uh... My husband Tony was killed last night. I know, and I'm very sorry. May I sit down? Oh, yeah. Are... Are you working on his case? Yes, I am. Is there a picture of him in your folder? I want to see him. Kiersten, uh, your husband was very badly burned. I don't think that's a good idea. What do you mean, he was burnt? The person who did this uses fire as a weapon. Was Tony set on fire alive? - We don't know that. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God, this can't be happening. [Crying] Next week was our anniversary. I'm so sorry. Are you married? No, I'm not, and I can't imagine what you're going through. But everything you tell us can help us find the person who did this to Tony. I know this is hard, but I want you to try to remember that when you're talking to Agent Rossi. Ahem. Now, I'd like you to close your eyes and relax. I want to walk you through an exercise that's going to help you recall everything that happened last night. - What, like hypnosis? - No, no, no. Not at all. Now, just close your eyes and do the best that you can, okay? All right. Think about last night. You and Tony, you went to the Halloween festival in Greektown. What time was it? [Kiersten] Uh, around 9:30. [Rossi] Crowded? - [Muted chattering] - [Muted music] Yeah. Uh... there were drums and loud music. Uh, some people wore costumes. Tony and I went to the festival every year. We actually met there when we were in high school. But this year we decided not to dress up. - Boo! - [Gasps] What is it? A kid dressed in a mask jumped out, scared me. Made Tony laugh. Where's his mom? - What type of mask? - Uh, round, like a baby. Okay. What do you see next? [Laughter] Fire. They were grilling lamb, and, uh, people were cheering. [Rossi] All right. It was a Greek restaurant. Baby, me and gyros? - No, thanks. - What? - I'm gonna go check out this Mexican food. - Oh, baby, no. Baby, I'll be right back. - All right. - Stay there. - I'm gonna come and get you. - All right. [Rossi] Now, do you remember anyone in the crowd, anyone that didn't fit in? [Kiersten] No. But to be honest, I was already looking at the menu. All right, that's good. Now, don't look up from the menu. Just listen to me. Now, when you love someone and they step away, there's an instinctive response to glance up to make sure that they're still there. Now, you did that last night, even if you don't remember. Okay. You're getting ready to place an order. I already know what I'm getting. I'm getting the gyros. Kiersten, where's Tony? [Kiersten] He's at the Mexican restaurant. [Rossi] Is someone around him? Yes, uh, but I can't really make out his face. What about his body? Is it young? Is it old? Uh, 25 maybe. Wait. He's wearing a mask. - Like the kid? - No, no, no, no, no. It only covers one side of his face. His ear is gone, and, um... [Rossi] What do you see? It's a black guy. He's black. You make him sound like he's Freddy Krueger or something. No, but I do think he's severely burned. Explains why he chooses this time of the year. - He doesn't have to hide his scars. - What about his victims? He's punishing them for wronging him. [Garner] Wronging him? What about his second victim? Have you looked at Josephine Davis' life? She was the nicest woman in the world. How did she wrong this guy? He's had interactions with all of his victims, some more personal than others. So he's acting out of revenge. Kiersten and Tony didn't even speak to him. Maybe not that night, but at some point in the past. Now, wait a minute. Josephine was abducted from her husband. Tony was abducted from his wife. You think these couples represent a happiness he covets? [Morgan] Or something he lost. He's a young guy with a deformity. Major insecurities come with that. A trauma like that would be devastating for him and anyone in his life. [Man] ♪ He's got the whole wide world ♪ ♪ In his hands ♪ ♪ He's got the whole world in his hands ♪ ♪ He's got the whole world in his hands ♪ [Girl joins in] ♪ He's got the whole world ♪ ♪ In his hands ♪ ♪ He's got the whole world in his hands ♪ ♪ He's got the whole world in his hands ♪ ♪ He's got the whole world in his hands ♪ - Oh! - ♪ He's got the father and the daughter ♪ ♪ In his hands ♪ ♪ He's got the father and the daughter in his hands ♪ ♪ He's got the father and the daughter in his hands ♪ ♪ He's got the whole world in his hands ♪ [gasps] Daddy? Daddy? Daddy! Please, please! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! - [Pounding on car] - Daddy, please! [Chains clinking] Do you know how rare it is for an arsonist to be a burn victim? Less than 3.5%. This guy's not an arsonist. He's a serial killer who uses fire. And that choice of weapon tells us that he's aggressive, driven, and destructive, just like fire itself. But why would someone so controlling choose the most unpredictable weapon? This juxtaposition tells us there's more going on with him than we realize. He's probably experienced some kind of loss these past few years that started him down this path. We should look at accidents where couples were burned. We're talking about hundreds of fires. Focusing on ones where gasoline was the accelerant. [Phone rings] Leaving his victims in the heart of Rivertown, in the center of these buildings themselves, may be subconscious on his part, but it says that this affected his very core. All right, hold on. Somebody else has just been abducted. How do we know this is our guy? Because his daughter said a monster took her daddy away. Kaman! Kaman, come on, man! What are you doing? My little girl's back there. You gotta let me go. [Garcia] The victim's name is Christopher Edwards. He's 35, and he lives in the suburbs. - [Garner] What part? - [Garcia] Birmingham. How far is that from the Rivertown district? Not more than 40 minutes. He might already be inside. Let's lock it down. We'll trap him. - I'm going down there. - I'll go with you. Garcia, have Detroit PD set up roadblocks. [Garcia] Got it. Chris Edwards is a husband. He's a father. He's a general contractor. [Morgan] Check any subcontractors who've worked with him. Okay, that is a humungous list. What do you want me to do with it? Anything that requires flames... plumbers, electricians, welders. Did he fire a welder recently? Okay. Uh, he's been using Vinnie's Welding and Fence, but he hasn't hired them back in months. List of employees coming up. - It's still a lofty handful. - [Prentiss] Okay. We think he's been following the investigation. Look at volunteers with Detroit's Finest. Okay, I'm crossing employees with volunteers. - Nothing. - Come on, baby girl, keep checking. - There's gotta be a connection here. - Okay, I'm gonna long-shot it, and I'm gonna cross the Michigan business directory with the payroll company and see if I still got what it takes to find stuff. And I do. His name's Kaman Scott. - [Morgan] You got an address? - I'm working on that. Kaman... Kaman, come on, man. Kaman, you gotta let me go. Please, let me go. What do you want? I'll give you anything you want. You want money? You want a job? Just don't do anything stupid, man, all right? Damn it! Come on, man! [Garcia] Okay, from the look of Kaman Scott's early years, he was on a fast track to be some kind of hoodlum, bad boy, super convict, but something happened in 2004 that made him change his evil tune 'cause then there's no arrests, there's no suspicions. There's no sign of rehab, but he totally cleaned up. Maybe that's when he met someone. Has he ever been arrested with a man named Tommy Proctor? Yeah, once. Uh, 2002. Yikes. And then they collided again in 2005. Like, literally collided. Kaman was in an accident, and his car blew up. Well, there's your gas accelerant. [Garcia] He was hit by that guy, Tommy Proctor. And there's your revenge. Twist of fate. The life he left behind came back to haunt him. So Tommy walks away without a scratch, and Kaman suffers a ton of third-degree burns, had a boatload of skin grafts, was in a coma for a couple of months, lost his apartment... Oh, and then there's that guy. His landlord was Tony Torrell. So we were right. He does have a revenge list. What about family, friends, acquaintances? No, that Kaman is a lone wolf. And his address just came up. Big Bad lives at 5923 Mills. Clear here. Clear. Like a cave. This guy hides out all year long. Well, with burns like that, he's probably sensitive to light. And his own skin. I mean, look around. There's not a mirror in sight. This guy doesn't want any reminder of what he looks like. There is nothing personal in here. Well, we said he didn't have nothing to live for. For a planner like Kaman, tonight's abduction was irrational. He went on private property and took Chris Edwards with a witness present. Maybe he's finally starting to feel the pressure, and he's reactive. More than that, he's meticulous. He'd have a plan if he got cornered. He'd have an endgame. Well, he already killed the man he blames for his accident. The other victims were slights compared to that. And now he needs to hurt the person that hurt him the most. The one who drives all of this. The one who broke his heart. Yeah, but who the hell is that? I swear I won't tell anybody about this. Oh, God! Son of a bitch! Oh, God! [Sobbing] I'm sorry, man. I'm so sorry. It wasn't my call. Oh! What the hell are you doing? [Yelling] Come on, Kamen! I'm sorry. No, Kaman! Please don't! Oh, God! [Screaming] [Screaming continues] [Tires screeching] [Car horn blaring] [Siren blares] [Hotch] Yeah. Kaman Scott worked for Chris Edwards. - He was fired seven months ago. - [Garner] Why did he kill him here? Roadblocks forced him out of his comfort zone. - Anything in the van? - Welding equipment, cans of gasoline. And a cage. I'm getting everyone in the city down here on this. Without his car, he's going to lie in wait until he can't anymore. Then he's gonna lash out again. [Siren wailing] [Train whistle blaring] Prentiss. I think I found something. What do you got? A girl. There's two more of the same girl in here. Oh, jeez, we gotta find out who she is. If this guy's feeling cornered, all bets are off. Tonight's his last chance to get revenge on anyone who's ever wronged him. She's most likely his next target. [Dialing] Garcia, we're gonna send you some photographs. - What do you want me to do with them? - Blow up the background. See if you can find anything that tells us who this girl is. I'll hit you back. [Man] Uh-uh. We're closed. No, you're not. Not to me. Boy, what's wrong with you? Get out. Not tonight. Where is she? Where's Tracy? Kaman, I said... get out. Can't. I can't do that tonight. They coming after me. What have you done? I just need to see her. I told you, don't come back in here. It's over. Son, you need to get some help. Don't you do it, old man! Aah! - [Blows landing] - [Crying out] [Groaning] Where is she? You go to hell! You gonna burn. - Garcia. - [Garcia] Friends, we're on three-way. What's going on? Hotch, we found some pictures of Kaman's girlfriend at his apartment. [Garcia] So I blew up those pictures. In one of them, she appears to be in a restaurant. So I zoomed in on the sign that says "O'S," cross-checked that with restaurants in the area. There are five diners. Three are in the suburbs, two are in Highland Park, ...and one is in Rivertown. - [Hotch] What's the name? Jay-Mo's. And this appears to be Kaman's and that girl's favorite place 'cause all the pictures were taken there. - Have you heard of Jay-Mo's? - It's a few blocks from here. Good work, Garcia. We're on the way. You're sick, Kaman. We done talking! This ain't the way. Then tell me where she is. If she ain't with you, I know where she is. [Man] Don't do it. Leave Tracy alone. Kaman... [shuddering breaths] It's too late for her. And it's too late for you. Kaman! [Garcia] Hotch, a fire alert just went out. - It's at Jay-Mo's Diner. - [Siren wailing] [Coughing] [Siren continues wailing] [Grunting] [Tires screeching] [Coughing] [Tires screeching] - Backup's on the way. - There isn't time. All units, 565 East Jefferson. I repeat, all units, 565 East Jefferson. This is Lieutenant Al Garner requesting available fire and EMS units. We got a man inside. Requesting additional alarms. - Repeat, all units, 565 East Jefferson. - [Coughing] [Man] BP's 84 over 36. [Garner] The owner's car was stolen. I need to ask him some questions. - He's in and out of consciousness. - [Labored breathing] I'm with the FBI. Can you give me a thumbs-up for yes and a thumbs-down for no? Did Kaman Scott do this to you? We have 15 minutes to get him to the hospital. Do you know this girl? Tracy. Tracy. Don't let him... - Please stop him. - Is Tracy nearby? - Yes. Get him. Get him. - Go. Go. - [Mutters] - Okay, let's move. Hotch, you ran into a burning building? I didn't have a choice. Her name's Tracy. Kaman's trying to find her. That man put his life on the line to protect her. So she means something to him. She means everything. [Chatter] [Chuckling] Ooh. Hey. I gotta finish the dishes. All right. Well, hurry up. [Garcia] Jay-Mo's real name is James Morris. He was married to Loretta Butler. - Does he have any children? - Yeah. They had one daughter. Her name is Tracy Anderson. She was born in 1987. Why does she have a different last name? When James' wife died, his sister, Susan Anderson, adopted Tracy. And where is she now? - She currently lives in Ohio. - No, he says she's nearby. Where do the Andersons live? Uh, Indian Village. - That's 3 miles away. - Let's go. [Woman] Here you go, hon. I found a few more glasses for you. Tom. Oh, my God, Tom! [Groaning] [Kaman] Where is Tracy? Sir, I keep trying the Anderson house, but the line's busy. [Busy signal] [Garner] He must already be there. Garcia, have any fires been reported in the area? Negative, but medics and fire suppression are on the way. - Good. Tell them to stand by. - Roger that. - There's one more thing I gotta tell you. - What is it? [Muttering] [Kaman] Let's just get honest with each other. Where is Tracy? - She's not here. - You're lying. I know she's back. Tracy's going to medical school in Ohio. I don't believe a damn word come out your mouth! We have no reason to lie. It's been five years, Kaman. She's moved on with her life. Why can't you just accept that? Shut up! [Siren wailing] [Garner] I'm calling backup. If anybody moves, we're in trouble. We need a shooter. We're here. Your man wants everyone to hold their position. We need a single rifle. I say again, all units, hold your position. [Morgan] Copy that. This is the street. Hotch is going inside. And he's on his own. [Reid] Hotch won't do anything to spin him. It's not Kaman I'm worried about. This isn't his first time at the dance. We gotta trust him on this. Kaman, why are you doing this? We never did anything to you. You kept Tracy away from me. Look what you've done, what you're about to do now. I wasn't always like this. People don't change, Kaman. No. This is all your fault. Baby, you can't keep blaming the world for what happened to you. [Gasps, whimpers] Baby, look at me. Look at me. [Whimpering continues] [Woman] Kaman. What... What is going on? I needed to see you. And this is how you do it? Uh... You abandoned me. You walked away from me when I needed you the most. - I'm sorry. - That's not good enough! After the accident, I had to get my life together. And what about my damn life? It took me two years to get back on my feet. You were the only thing that kept me going. Kaman, what happened to you? What do you think happened to me? [Boy] Mommy? Who else is here? Mommy, what's wrong? [Woman] That's my sister's son. Uh, go back upstairs, baby. - Go back upstairs. - Wait a minute. Wait. He said "Mama." The boy's confused, Kaman. Is that your son? [Tracy] No, Kaman. Don't you stand in front of me and lie to my face. Kaman, drop it. You shoot me, I drop this, and they burn. Then what? You move, you die. I'm already dead. I got nothing else to live for. [Hotch] Tracy, you need to tell him. Tell me what? What the hell's going on here? He needs to know. Kaman, while you were in a coma, I found out I was pregnant. Oh... I didn't know what to do. I thought you were gonna die. Oh, baby, I'm so sorry. You're telling me... that's my son? [Hotch] Kaman, you don't want to do this in front of your son. Put it down. Baby, if you don't do it for me, do it for him. Don't you want to know his name? What's your name? Daniel Kaman Anderson. [Hotch] Thomas Kemp wrote, "Love feels no burden, "thinks nothing of its trouble, "attempts what is above its strength, "pleads no excuse for impossibility, "for it thinks all things are lawful for itself and all things are possible. " [Jack] Dad, don't look at me. I'm not looking. Are you almost ready? - Yes. - You need any help? - No. - Okay. [Footsteps] Whoa. That is definitely not Spider-Man. He's not a real superhero. He's not? Okay. I give up. Who are you supposed to be? I'm you, Daddy. Let's go get some candy, my little G-man. detroit*** No,don't do this! Don't do it! No! No! No! No! Why are you doing this? ! Get me out of here! Where'd you go? Why are you doing this to me? ! Please don't do this,man. No! No,please! Can't somebody help me? Help me! No! Help! Hey,jack,are you ready? We gotta go. - Hey,where's the costume? - It's itchy. Did you try the long sleeves on underneath? I don't want to be spider-man anymore. - Why not? - I don't know. Ok. Well,you have to make up your mind by tomorrow,ok? - Ok. - Ok. You did a good job on the cookies. - Teamwork,right? - Teamwork,right. Can i have one? You want a cookie? Can i have a cookie? What do you want,black cat or a pumpkin? - Black cat. - Black cat. Good choice. The cool thing about halloween is that it's a uniquely american holiday. I mean,despite it's obvious origins in the celtic festival of samhain and the christian all saints day, it really is a melting pot of various immigrants' traditions and beliefs. It became a little more commercialized in the 1950s with trick-or-treat, and today it rivals only christmas in terms of popularity. All i asked was what he was doing this weekend. I'm toying with the notion of either going to the edgar allan poe shadow puppet theater or the reenactment of the 19th century phantasmagoria. - I don't want to know. - Oh,yeah,you do. Phantasmagorias are these amazing pre-cinema projected ghost shows invented in france, where the showman attempted to spook the audience using science magic. And it just so happens that i have an extra ticket. Tempting. Guys,i wouldn't have to worry about losing my feminine curves if you all paid more attention to all the trees we're consuming around here. When did you become an eco-freak? - Baby,i was born green. - We're going to detroit. It's halloween weekend. Arson investigators have noticed a 3-year trend - in the days leading up to halloween. - Devil's night. This unsub is killing only these 3 days out of the year. - How's he doing it? - He's burning his victims alive. He's abducting seemingly random people and dumping their bodies in abandoned parts of town. He struck again last night. Yeah. Tony torrell,40. he lives in the suburbs, but he was found 20 miles away in the rivertown district. He's attacking the city at its most vulnerable time. - what does he do during the rest of the year? - He's dormant. You know,arsonists are typically white males between 17 and 25 who can't stay away from fire. Yeah,they're addicted to it and there's no rehab. And they target dwellings,not people. So you're saying he burns his victims alive but he's not an arsonist? Fire is simply his weapon. And devil's night gives him the perfect cover to kill. Then we've got 48 hours before he disappears again. Well,his last victim was athletic. He wouldn't be easy to subdue. The offender must be just as strong or might have an upper hand if he's younger. Still,how does he transport his victims across the city and get them inside buildings without being noticed? Criminal.Minds S06E06 niccolo machiavelli wrote,"if an injury has to be done to a man, "it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared. " now,i thought devil's night was halloween eve. The moniker "devil's night" is somewhat deceiving. In detroit,it's actually a 3-day citywide cultural phenomenon, complete with masks,chaos,and costumes. - Say that 3 times fast. - Sounds like mardi gras. Yeah,a violent one. Vandals and amateur arsonists literally set hundreds of fires. Who burns their own city? It started as pranks in the 1930s but escalated in the 1970s with disenfranchised youth. Well,given today's economy,it must be a free-for-all. They've got record-breaking unemployment and foreclosures, leaving a lot of displaced,desperate people. And every single one of these victims suffered unimaginable pain. I'm sure that's what gets him off,watching them burn. It gives him power and control. The top of the whodunit list is first responders. Firefighters,arson investigators,cops,and paramedics. Civil servants with a hero complex. All of whom will be helping us. - this guy's angry. - Aren't they all? Not like this. Have you seen these? extreme anger usually manifests from a quick temper, but this guy's patient. I'm gonna ask garcia to notify us the minute that someone's reported missing. burns 3 people annually. It's like his christmas. And the rest of the year he just plans-- targeting his victims and then choosing the buildings he wants to kill them in. There's a flaw in his plan. We know about it. detrout*** We're stretched as it is, but we've set up a joint task force with the detroit p.d. to catch this guy. It's pretty extensive. I'd say don't profile me, but you're in a roomful of suspects,right? a city full. victims abducted across every socioeconomic divide. And this son of a bitch is about to burn a few of them alive. Problem is,we've gotta catch up. And we know he's gonna be watching. Well,we're gonna bust him this year. We've got two agents on the way to last night's crime scene. Great. I'll meet them there. I hope we find something soon. It gets dark early this time of year. And we'll head to the morgue. Hope you have a strong stomach. Gasoline was the accelerant? Gas vapors collect in a low,enclosed space. When he ignited,those vapors burned down to his bone. We call this a fourth-degree burn. - There's a fracture on the back of his skull. - That's right. Was that postmortem? No,it was antemortem bruising. He was struck from behind. Blitz attack. - What's this on her face? - Charred fabric. All of the victims have the same material on them. The fire fused the original garment to his flesh, then burned away,leaving behind these remains. He's covering their faces? That's my best guess,yes. He doesn't want his victims looking at him, even though we wants to watch them die. It could be a sign of guilt or inadequacy. Now,wouldn't a guy like this want to see the terror in their eyes? Instead,he keeps them in the dark. He's covering their faces and setting them on fire. It's an execution. it's easy to see why he sets fires down here. It's completely isolated. He can beat,torture,or burn somebody and nobody would hear it. I never thought the fbi would be here for our fine city's tradition. I'm al garner with the dfd. Agents morgan and prentiss. I guess devil's night keeps you pretty busy,huh? Not as much as it did in the eighties. Used to get up to 600,700 fires back then. - In 3 days? - Down to 115 last year. It still takes everything we got, but fortunately we've had some help. Have the police increased their patrols in the rivertown district? I wish they could,but the city's reeling from budget cuts. No. Detroit's finest is a community group with over a thousand volunteers. a thousand volunteers? Well,that just added another thousand names to garcia's list. - Do you think he's one of them? - Can't rule anyone out. What is this place? It's an old engine factory. It's massive. And medieval. From the industrial age, when this city was pumping out more cars and hit songs than anyplace else in the world. This is where we found tony's charred remains. The char pattern tracks back to here. That's where he stood when he started the fire. Not the best vantage point. There's your escape exit. Yeah,except he didn't want that. He needs to watch the show. This is the moment he's been waiting for all year. One where he doesn't feel inadequate or rejected. So he watches as long as he can. Yeah,but fire's unpredictable. Every second in here he's putting his own life at risk. And this guy's obviously confident that he can get out of here before it's too late. But there was a fire alarm. My men were here in 5 minutes. - And he knew it. - How? This unsub doesn't leave anything to chance. He knows exactly how long he's got with his victims. He probably knows response times or at least listens to them. all units,be advised of a robbery in progress at 9760 east mills. this is your man dj cutz with an instant blast. The feds are in town cracking down on this year's devil's night. So i'd advise everyone to stay off of the streets and keep them radios locked to fm 99 detroit. the first time i looked at these victims on the map, none of it made sense. 7 different victims,various ages,sex,and ethnicity. - What do you see now? - The first victim... - Often tells us the most. - Tommy proctor. Well,his rap sheet is longer than the nile. It looks like he's always walked on the dark side. The first kill inspired him. What's different about it? Two things. First of all,his body wasn't found for days. He was buried deep in the building. That often tells us that they know each other. Not to mention it took many botched attempts to burn them. Because the unsub didn't realize how difficult it is to actually burn a human body. Or it's overkill. He wanted proctor to suffer the most. Which definitely makes it personal. If he knew the first victim,it's a good chance he knew them all. We just have to find out how. We can start by talking to tony torrell's wife. - How you doing? - Uh... I'm fine. Uh,i'm here to see agent rossi. He's going to be with you in just a few minutes. If someone were following me right now, Do you really think they could stop me from, say, uh, Breaking your neck? If I didn't care about getting caught, that is, and... I don't. Look, I get it. You and the people you work with, You're gonna do what you're gonna do. You'll be watching pretty little jenny And you'll be watching pretty little me. So maybe it'll be her. Maybe it'll be someone else. The important thing is is that devalos knows About all this ahead of time. That way, if he doesn't step up, The girl I find... She won't just be my victim, She'll be his victim, too. Pretty good, right? That'll kill him, won't it? Good man like devalos. Respected man. No way he'll be able to live with himself If he let's that happen. I know who you are, you know. Pardon me? I know you're a prince. I know about the problem. I know about the money, and I want to help you. I've got a little more than $38 saved up. But I know it's not much, but it's what I've got. And when you get all that money That you've been writing to people about, You can pay me back. I just want enough To cover my library debt: $92.18. I think you are mistaken, little girl. You've got me mixed up with somebody. You don't have to pretend with me. I know you're a prince, okay? I've read the e-mails. And I know that you have enemies everywhere, But I'm not one of them. And look, even if you don't get all your money back, I want you to have this. I'm sorry, young lady, but you've got me mixed up. I must get going. No, you can't just not take my money Because I'm a little kid; that's not fair. Okay, okay, fine. Okay, give it to me. Isn't it a little early? No, what it is, is... A little cowardly. What it is, is selfish. Your timing is impeccable. I was a minute from making a clean getaway. Your assistant told me where I could find you. Sir... We really need to talk. So all I have to do to prevent this lunatic From keeping his promise is step forward And declare myself a criminal? He knows what you did, sir. I don't know how he knows, but he knows. And I know it, too. Look, I would never secon d-guess what you did. I might have done the same thing. And I know how much you stand to lose. But unless there's something I'm not seeing, I don't think you can keep this a secret much longer. I think you need to start telling people what you did. And not to give in to him... But to keep him from doing something That you would never recover from. I mean... If he hurt some girl... I don't think you could live with that. There's a lot you're not seeing, allison. But I appreciate your concern. Uh, sir? Sir, I'm a part of this, too, now. I don't want to be, but I am. If you don't come forward... I don't know, I might have to. Well, I guess we're each gonna do what we have to do. I can say anything to you, right, dad? Well, this is the last thing you need to know, The thing you're never gonna get To help me deal with. This thing that's been living inside me, This cloud that I can't get out from under, It's always been there, but it started to get worse During my senior year of high school. Kim and I went to this party. It was mostly college kids home for their christmas break. There was a boy there. His name was william. He was a little older, cute, funny. I liked him, so I pretended to be older. He kept giving me drinks. I started to feel funny, So he asked me if I needed to lie down. He helped me upstairs. And the rest? Well, you're defending him now; you know what he does. I was barely awake for any of it. All I knew the next day Was that something sick had happened to me. When I read about your case in the papers, When I realized how many other girls he'd done it to, How maybe I could have stopped it all If I had been braver and said something, Well, that's when all this started. I'm sorry, daddy. I should have said something to you. Sir. I've... I'm so sorry. I had a dream last night, And in it... : I saw ev-everything. Now I know why you did what you did. I'm so sorry if I was short with you yesterday, So sorry about what happened to arianna... To you and lily. For everything. Thank you. It's been quite a burden. The hardest part has been keeping my wife in the dark. Unfortunately, it looks like that's... No longer an option. You are gonna come forward? I don't think I really have a choice. I should have put it all together sooner. The obituaries that he was leaving everywhere... That's how he figured it all out-- He must have come across one in prison And when he saw her picture, imagine his surprise When he realized that he raped The daughter of his own defense attorney. I'm gonna call a press conference Tomorrow, late afternoon, Admit what I did. Lily's away on a trip with some friends. I want to speak with her first. After that, I'll speak with the press. Hopefully, the fact that there's going to be A press conference will be enough To keep mr. Gerwin at bay for a day. I'm gonna miss this place. Regal man: Excuse me. This is for you. Wow. You already have my, uh, $92.18? No, it's just what you gave me yesterday. I can't keep it. I don't care what you say. You know, uh, I've only been doing this for a couple of weeks. I'm not proud of it. It's just, uh, I haven't worked in a while, And I was hoping to get a little bit of money coming in. But the truth is, your $38 was all I got, And, uh, I didn't set out to swindle little girls. So you're not a prince? why are you dressed like that? Bridgette? When you're done with those, would you come help me In the children's section, please? Yeah, sure. Um, miss aiken, This is prince abantu. He's from nigeria. Nice to meet you. Yeah, you, too. Bye. Bye-bye. Well, at least One of the dubois women is happy in her work. Bridgette loves working at the library. She doesn't even mind the fact That you can't really talk in there. Will hate to see it end. Meets all kinds of interesting people. Even helped a nice young girl set up an e-mail account. Hmm? Come on, bridgette dubois, librarian at large? Isn't that good for at least a smile? Hmm. Well, I guess not. Hey, come on, I mean... I just, I can't stand the thought of this monster getting away with this, The thought of devalos losing his job, his license. Look, I know he made a mistake, But the truth is, if that had been one of our daughters, I would've done the same thing. I think he showed remarkable restraint In not murdering the son of a bitch. See? It's easy. Now you can write e-mails to whoever you want. Wow. Thanks. You're a very smart kid. Yeah, well, I get that a lot. Actually, can you help me with one more thing? I'm not a very good typist. I always feel like I have ten thumbs. Is there any way you could type up an e-mail for me? Don't be upset with me. Arianna... Arianna, what are you talking about? What are you doing here? That e-mail I had your little girl type... It went to a crime boss named tom harper. William gerwin got his parole by agreeing to testify In an organized crime case. He sent away one of tom harper's top lieutenants. Harper never knew who the snitch was. That is, until now. Oh, my god, you do know What that man is gonna do to gerwin, don't you? Absolutely. And by the way, he's already done it. Gerwin is already dead? It happened about an hour ago. That man took everything from me. There's no way I could let him take Everything from my dad, too. I want what he did to remain a secret. Well, I'm sure it will. Now... Maybe... Maybe there's no reason for anyone to know now. Good. But there is one person who deserves to know the truth... Who needs to know the truth. Will you do something for me? Get my father to do something for me? I love you, dad. And I love you, mom. Devalos arianna: "you both gave me so much love, "and I'm taking that with me wherever I'm going. Devalos : "now you'll need to give it to each other. "goodbye, daddy. "goodbye, mommy. I love you. Arianna." A Hannah Special's here once more. Doo dah doo dah. You won't believe what is in store. Oh the doo dah day. Secrets and romance. I'll even do a dance. [Rico grunting] -Rico! -Rico! Sorry. We'll be here to help you through. Doo dah doo dah. Me, the dork, his girlfriend, too. Oh the doo dah day. Don't call me a dork. He's mad 'cause we're in love. I was mad, but now I'm glad to give this friendly shove. -Hey, don't shove him! -Yeah! Are you just gonna let him shove you like that? Come on. Come on. Ow! Jesse I just don't want to make the same mistake I've made in the past, so I just want to come right out and say it. I'm Hannah Montana. Eh? [Mimicking Jesse] Whoa dude, stop, you're blowing my mind! I mean, you're Hannah, you're Miley, you're Hannah. Who am I dating? You're tearing me apart. Will you stop? Will you? Why are we even rehearsing this? I mean you've told the secret enough times. I'm surprised the pizza delivery guy doesn't know. Mmm-hmm. "Who ordered the meat lovers special?" "I did and I'm Hannah Montana!" Oh stop sulking. You've been mad ever since I told Siena about the secret. She didn't know who Lola was! Get over it! All right look at me! I wear Day-Glo wigs. I dress like a Japanese cartoon character. How can she not know who Lola is? Come on she's dating Jackson. She's one drumstick short of a jumbo bucket. Now can we get back to the person with the real problem? [Gasps] Lola's real to me. Come on. Will you stop it? Jesse will be here any minute and I need to practice. Or you could not tell him and before you know it. We're off to college together sharing a dorm room. Where I have to listen to you complainin' about how bad you feel. For not coming clean to Jesse and there's no place for me to hide. Because I'm trapped with you in a 12-by-12 foot concrete cell. That's filled with tear-soaked tissues dripping in snot! On second thought, yeah, maybe you should tell him. Well that was a long trip for nothing. How long have you known me? Point taken. [Doorbell ringing] Now get out of here. No hang on. If you're gonna tell him about Hannah. I should tell him about Lola. Lilly no one... Cares! I get it. I get it. Wow, I really want to tell you you get more beautiful. Every time I see you. But that'd be going against my brooding rocker image. So I'm just gonna say: hey. That works for me. Oh, sweet niblets, can't you at least warn a guy? Good thing I got that Smokey and the Bandit marathon running on cable. You sounded a little nervous on the phone. Is everything okay? [Sighs] I'm fine. Uh-oh. Walking me to the couch. This can't be good. No. I just... I have something really important I need to tell you and... You could be mad. Really mad. But I just care about you too much to not tell you that... That you're Hannah Montana? Please don't interrupt me. This is really... Huh? I know you're Hannah Montana. How? It was that blabbermouth Siena, wasn't it? Didn't need any help on this one. You both have the same beautiful eyes. And amazing smile. And then there's the fact that I told Miley that my dad. Was stationed overseas and then two days later. Hannah had a concert for kids whose parents were stationed overseas. Hmm. I was hoping you'd think that was just a coinkydink. Come on six years and the rest of the world hasn't put it together. Well the rest of the world isn't in love with Miley Stewart. You're in love with me? Yeah. Um... Unless you're not in love with me then I take that back. Because, you know, I'm cool. Aw. Oh. Hey Lola. Yes! Yes! Finally! Somebody knows Lola! I always liked him. All right bye. This is awesome. Now you can be back in the band and we can be together all the time. Ooh. Just one simple rule. Just 'cause you're mushy on Miley. Don't mean you can be huggy on Hannah. What? Come on, I can't have the world thinking that Hannah steals. A boyfriend even though she wouldn't be stealing. Her boyfriend 'cause my boyfriend is her boyfriend. Which brings me right back to... what? You're dating Miley, not Hannah. Got it. You just tell me which one to kiss. This one. Okay the two minute kissing window is now closed. -Dad. -Come on Mr. Stewart. [Grunting] Look at this Jesse. Your horoscope says. You are dangerously close to a slow painful death. Now come on get the TV on. It's time for the monkey to drive. When you ask do you wanna dance. My Barefoot Cinderella. Don't need no slippers or a party dress. The way you're looking right now is what I like the best. And then you'll say do you wanna take a chance. And stay with me forever. No one'll ever be more beautiful. My barefoot, barefoot Cinderella. [Audience cheering] [Music stops] You rocked. Not hard when I'm with you. Hey, hey, hey. I'm Hannah. Hannah Montana ladies and gentlemen. And apparently her new boyfriend. Why is it always the guitar player? Why not a nice cameraman like my nephew Lenny? But seriously, I'm happy for you Hannah. And what's your name? Ah, you don't wanna know my name. Come on. You kissed her on national TV. What are you shy all of a sudden? Come on what's your name? -Jesse. -Jesse! There you have it. Hannah and Jesse America's new sweethearts. Good night everybody. Bye, bye. Thanks for watching. Bye. [Audience cheering] [Miley whooping] Here we go everybody! [Singing] Come on! You get the limo out front. Hottest styles, every shoe, every color. Yeah, when you're famous it can be kind of fun. It's really you but no one ever discovers. Who would have thought that a girl like me. A girl like me. Would double as a superstar? [Whooping] You get the best of both worlds. Chill it out, take it slow. Then you rock out the show. You get the best of both worlds. Mix it all together. And you know that it's the best of both worlds. [Laughing] [Singing] Jesse's back in the band but then things got out of hand. He gave Hannah a kiss. Something the world didn't miss. On Leno. Hannah Montana was getting frozen yogurt yesterday. Did you hear about this? Did you hear about this? When asked why she got both chocolate and vanilla. She said she wanted the best of both swirls. Did you hear about this? [Singing] Now Mile and Jesse can't hate. Is that a problem? Just wait. Who cares? My Leno was great. This is the guy that you hate. So sad. Wow this thing is everywhere. Hannah and Jesse, America's new sweethearts. Good night, everybody. Bye, bye. Thanks for watching. Oh great I just took over "most viewed" from "Kitty Kat Flushing a Toilet." Uh that just means that you're bigger than. "Meow, meow." Flush. "Meow, meow." Flush. [Whispers] You should be proud. What was I thinking inviting Jesse back in the band? I mean Hannah's irresistible. There's no way that he could. Go against her feminine charms. I just want to go home put the wig on. And smack that home wrecker in the face. You know as much as I'd love to see how that works. I think you're freaking out for no reason. I mean you can still date Jesse as Miley just not in public. Why does my life have to be so complicated? Oh yeah. Poor little most famous 17-year-old in the whole world. Now will you just focus on the positives okay? We're both going to college together we both have wonderful boyfriends. -Except for you're more... -No. No cracks about Oliver until I find something. Equally embarrassing about Jesse. Good luck with that. Yeah I know. Well it's not that big a deal. It's not like Hannah Montana hasn't complicated your life before. Yeah. And I dealt with it then and I'll deal with it now. -Hey there you are. -Jesse! Whoa, whoa, dude! You're that guy dating Hannah Montana. Did you know that? Yeah I saw it on Leno. [Laughs] Me too! Up top bro! Yeah. Jesse what are you doing here? Casual acquaintance and platonic friend. -Nice. -Your dad told me you were at the pier. I just had some great news I had to tell you. I can't wait aforementioned casual acquaintance and platonic friend. Overkill. My dad's coming home from overseas. My gosh Jesse that's great. Miley. Dang it. Hey it's okay. I don't think anybody noticed. One at a time bro. Oh, Hannah Montana's new boyfriend, Jesse, Apparently caught cheating today. Ooh! Yeah, yeah. Hannah's response: "Nobody's perfect, But this guy's a super, super jerk". Oh man. My mom watches Leno. Well if it makes you feel any better. Both Miley and Hannah love their "super, super jerk". Well I'm glad you think this is funny. But you're not the one who's a talk show punch line? You're a cute punch line. Oh Jesse, come on! Oh come on Jesse. I know it's my fault but... Okay this is where you say "No it's not your fault honey. We're in this together". Let me try it again. Jesse I know it's my fault but... Your turn. Doesn't have to be "honey". Could be "lamb chop cupcake..." Miley. Oh come on. You can do better than that. You don't get it. Everybody in America knows me as the super, super jerk. Who broke Hannah Montana's heart? Everybody? Now come on, you're being a little dramatic. I mean the people that know you and love you don't feel that way. [Cell phone buzzing] Really? My 5-year-old niece just texted me this. "Uncle Jesse, you're a big fat stinking... ooh!" How does she know that word? And my grandma's weighing in. Probably just to say that she loves you and that everything's gonna be okay. Yeow! Now you know where your little niece got the trucker mouth. Look Jesse you had to know that dating me. Was sometimes gonna be a pain in the... Well I'm not your grandma so I'm just gonna say complicated. Dating me would be a pain in the complicated. But I'm worth it, aren't I? Again this is where you say "No..." What? What do I say? And to which one of you? Because if I'm dating Hannah, now I'm cheating on Miley. And if I'm dating Miley, then I'm the jerk who broke Hannah Montana's heart. Either way I'm just... [Cell phone buzzing] And that's my mom. Ooh well if we ever get married, she is not gonna be baby-sitting the triplets. I have very specific fortune cookies? Would you stop joking about this? Listen, Jesse sometimes joking about it is the only way that I get through it. You just stepped into this. This has been my life for six years. Please let's just forget about it. Come on. Pizza, a movie, anything. Let's go. Pizza and a movie is not gonna fix this. Maybe you're right. Ice cream and bowling. Let's go! Miley. I'm sorry, maybe you can deal with this but... Please don't say it. ...I can't. So you're just gonna walk away from us? As long as there's two of you I don't think there can be an "us". [Sighs] You know dad I really thought that Jesse was different. I thought he could handle all this. Ah you just gotta give the boy some time Mile. If he really loves you, he'll be back. If he really loves that pretty boy face of his, he won't be. Daddy. Oh I'm sorry honey. I just hate seeing you this hurt. Truth is whether you're ready to hear it or not if he comes back that's great. And if he doesn't, there'll be other boys. I keep praying there won't be but there always are. I don't know. Maybe I should just give up guys for good. Oh now you're just teasing me. Honey the truth is life has a funny way of working things out. One door closes, another one opens. All you've got to be ready to tell yourself is... [Screaming excitedly] When your daughter asks if her best friend can live with you. Think about it for more than a second. [Continues screaming] And then say no. Is it? Stanford Admissions Offices! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Thank you. Aw look at that honey. You've already forgot about Jesse. [Crying] Jesse. Aw I'm sorry. I just meant... [Grunting] Zip it! Look nothing personal but sometimes you just... Have a tendency to be a big dumb daddy? I would never say that because you let me live here. But because you said it, oh yeah! Now look Miley. Jesse... that guy your dad just mentioned. Is your past and these letters are your future. I guess you're right. Of course I'm right! Okay now we'll open them on three, ready? One, two. Three! I didn't get in. I didn't either. Oh I'm sorry girls. I'm sorry you both didn't. Well Lilly yours says you got accepted. No, it doesn't. I just read that. No, no. No it doesn't. No. How can you read it? It's just moving all over the place. Let me see that Lilly. I'm sorry. But I mean how much more bad news can you take? I mean you just found out you don't get to go to college. With your best friend the day after you get rejected. By the best boyfriend you ever had. And now you've got an eye twitch. But my grades are awesome. I killed it on the SAT. This is so not fair! I know. I mean I guess that stuff just wasn't important to Jesse. And Stanford accepted you? Lilly stand extremely still and don't let her sense your fear. There has got to be some kind of mistake! Lilly and I have just about the same grades. And she only did a little bit better on the SAT. And that's because my energy drink made me have to tinkle twice. And Lilly can hold it like a camel! I must say the fact that you just drove 200 miles. To plead your case is very impressive. That's the kind of character we look for here at Stanford. We're going to be very sad not having you here. Cookie? This isn't fair. I am being discriminated against. Because I have a small bladder. And we are not a group that you want picketing in your lobby. I'm really sorry Miss Stewart but the difference. Between you and your friend isn't academic or fluid related. Miss Truscott held part-time jobs, she was a cheerleader. She was on the volleyball team The skateboard club the surf club. And you. Were a tricycle-riding pirate mascot for half a basketball game. And in 12th grade you climbed a rope. That sucker went all the way to the ceiling. Yes I think you mentioned that in your essay. "To the Ceiling and Back: A Girl, a Rope and a Dream." Which was exactly the required 500 words. And Lilly's was 502. Just saying, rule follower, rule breaker. Miley you are an excellent student. But you don't have any extra-curricular activities. And here at Stanford we're looking for students with a skosh more. But come on you have to let me in. This is the only college I applied to. This is the only school you applied to? You know on one hand that could sound incredibly dumb. But on the other hand it could be a display of admirable school spirit. Doesn't show up on a test but honey at the pep rally. I will skosh you up one side and down the other. Go Stanford! Whoo-hoo! Huh-uh! Whoo-hoo! Hey! Okay, please. I appreciate your enthusiasm. But all right tell me something you've done in the last four years. That's the least bit out of the ordinary. Other than that bizarre "Stanford whoo" thing. Are you kidding me? The last four years of my life have been anything but ordinary. Wonderful. How? I can't tell you. Then I can't reconsider your application. But if I could tell you You'd be all "nuh-uh." And I'd be like "yuh-huh." And you'd be like "no way". I'd be like "yeah way". Wait, please. I never even got a cookie. [Singing] If you're wondering what she'll do. Now that her plans have fallen through. And you know she's got a real strong will. And she's got lots more show to fill. Now she's going, going back to Malibu. We kinda thought we'd be singing too. Instead we're stuck in her chorus line. [Chuckles] 'Cause your agent's not as good as mine. Wait, wait, if Miley leaves, we have no ride. Hey Miley how far away are you? I'm turning into the driveway and I'll be in in a second. Hey I know you're disappointed so I'm making your favorite dinner. Mac and cheese and bacon! That's your favorite dad. You know the way she's feeling, that probably wouldn't have made any difference anyway. This way at least one of us will be happy. I heard that. Hey you're not supposed to be talking while you're driving! Well I already lost Jesse to Hannah. And now I can't go to college. Because I was busy selling out stadiums. And meeting the Queen of England. Instead of holding a spit bucket for the girls wrestling team! Ow! Look I know. I was really thinking about this. You know what if you said you were Hannah Montana's assistant? I mean that way you still did all the stuff but as her assistant. You couldn't have thought of that 200 miles ago? [Singing to the tune of "On the Road Again"] In the car again. Miley Stewart's back in the car again. Driving places she has already been. Miley's arriving back to school again. Yee-haw! Today our topic is heartbreak and disappointment. Who out there has lost a boyfriend recently or a good friend. Or maybe didn't get into the college they wanted to get into? I. Nice try honey. I'm a visual manifestation of your over-stressed subconscious. And I'm with you for the next 200 miles. So you're a mess. Let's start from there. Hannah Montana's assistant? That sounds fascinating. Why didn't you include that in your application? Miss Montana likes me to keep it very low profile. She's very classy and even prettier in person. I must say this could change everything. Yes! Oh, are you gonna finish that sandwich? I've been driving all day. -Please. -Thanks. Now we're just gonna need some proof of employment. Some what? Some pay stubs tax records. Just something I can submit to the board. Miss Montana pays in cash. Is proving this going to be a problem? Of course not. [Growls] How'd it go? Stupid proof of employment. Tax stubs. No cookie. I drove 200 miles just to say... You want proof Cookie Lady I'll show you proof. Hey uh why didn't you just use the emergency Hannah kit. You keep in your car? Because I forgot! [Mimicks cat snarling] Yes Miley the directions you gave me were perfect as usual. Now if I could just find that incredibly competent and extremely attractive. Admissions woman that you described. [Gasps] Oh wait there she is. You are the best. Kiss, kiss. Bye. Hi. Miley Stewart best assistant any international pop sensation. Has ever had. You must be Mrs. Jameson. Oh my goodness it really is you. Oh I thought she was just one of those desperate types. That would do or say anything to get in. I mean she did this "Stanford whoo" thing that was. Well borderline creepy. I'll pass that along. The girl loves constructive criticism. Plays well with others and is an avid flossier. Healthy gums, healthy mind. Now if you could just give me that orientation package. I'll take it with me help save you the postage. -Miss Montana... -No worries. It's just my way of contributing to higher education. But I will need a receipt for tax purposes. It isn't that. It's apparently Miley misunderstood. I didn't say this would get her in I said we'd reconsider. But even if we do accept her, she goes to the end of the waiting list. [Stammering] The waiting list? Oh well look Miley is a wonderful applicant it's just that the information. Came a little late and the board only makes exceptions. In very rare cases. Well like for example if you were applying. Me? Well of course. Having someone of your accomplishments here. Would be a wonderful addition to the university. So I could get in no problem? Well assuming you had Miley's grades and SAT scores. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I am very tired here so I need to get this clear. This may sound crazy. Let me get this right. If Miley and I were somehow I don't know. Smooshed into the same person, we could get in? [Laughs] Well if you put it like that I guess you would. Unfortunately that's not the case. Although oddly enough You do have the same eye twitch. That's not the only thing we have in common. It just so happens that Miley and I are. The same. Sign of the zodiac. Sagittarius, which means we're the fire sign. And over-excitable eyelids. I gotta go. [Door closes] [Singing to the tune of "Singing"] Problems. She's got nothing but problems. She's lost Jesse and Lilly. All because of the wig. If she came clean. All her problems would just go away. Or would they just begin? [Mimicking cats screeching] She's going to be home any minute. And I don't know what to say to make her feel better. I know, I know. It's terrible. Seriously? You're scraping the crusty bits off the sides now? I'm sorry but I'm an emotional eater. Hang on, hang on. All right look the recipe says it serves 12. I had one and a half you dropped one on the floor. That means you had nine-and-a-half servings! Well excuse me Little Miss Solve-Your-Fancy-Math-Problems. I-Got-Into-Stanford- and-Your-Daughter-Didn't. [Gasps] You lashed out at me. I'm sorry I didn't mean to. Here. Like I would want that. Oh. Okay. Dang my generation's foolish beliefs that food can make the pain go away. [Taking deep breath] Oh, it's okay. It's all right, I mean, we're jumping on each other. Because you know we feel helpless and there's nothing we can do. Although frankly a little bit more you than me. Well excuse me but I don't think I recall throwing macaroni fractions. In your face. Oh, do you wanna go? -Is this how it's going to be? Is this how it's going to be? -That's the way it's gonna be, yeah. Come on. Oh, all right I can't hear you with that in your mou... hi. Hey. -How you doing bud? -I'm miserable. I'm so hungry the only thing that got me through the last 20 miles. Was thinking about shoveling in. That big old bowl of mac and cheese and bacon. She normally doesn't eat it. You ate it all? Yes, but he dropped some on the floor and I threw it in the trash. -But it's right on top so... -Uh... I ate that too. This is the worst day ever. I lost my Jesse and now I'm gonna be stuck. At Malibu Community College without you. And the only reason I'm going to get any mac and cheese and bacon. Is if dad regurgitates it like a mama robin. Hey darling don't worry. I'm gonna fix this. How about I make you a nice omelet? What would you like in it? My Jesse and an acceptance letter to Stanford. And maybe some chives and salted mushrooms. Coming right up. -Miley? -What? Look you're not gonna go to Malibu Community College alone. [Sobbing] You're right. I'll be with Jackson! No, no. You're not gonna be with Jackson. You're gonna be with me. What? Yeah, I mean, if you can't go to Stanford until next year. Then I won't go to Stanford until next year. But you've been thinking about this for like forever. Yeah and didn't you just order the official Stanford coffee mug. Mouse pad combo pack? Don't you have an omelet to make, mister? [Sighs] No wonder Oliver's always on tour. Boy's not as dumb as I thought he was. [Sighs] Look, you're right, I mean, I have always wanted to go there. But I've always wanted to go there with you. And you know I can do that next year. But it's such a sacrifice. Yeah, but look what you've done for me. I mean, you've taken me into your house. -Uh, whose house? -Omelet! Yes ma'am. And you let me be Lola. I get to ride around in limos and private jets. And live the rock star life. I mean, I can never repay you for all of that. -True. -That didn't require a response. Sorry. Go on. Look the point is I just want to do this for you. So please let me. -You really are the best friend ever. -I know. Aw, if grown men could only hug like teenage girls. There'd be no more wars. When I ask, do you wanna dance? My barefoot Cinderella. Jesse! Don't need no slippers or a party dress. The way you're looking right now is what I like the best. Singers, actors, just once a kid that wants to be a doctor. -Hi. -Hey. Listen I've been thinking. Being with you. It's a real headache. And it's hard, it's complicated. I mean, it's a lot of work. I'm starting to think the song outside my door. Was a little bit misleading. I'm not finished. Being with you might be all those things. But the only thing worse is not being with you. Did that get to you like it got to me? Yeah, a little. Guys with guitars. Why do the ladies find us so dang irresistible? Are you sure you're ready for all this? I was ready for all this the first time I met you. I just didn't know it. Now come on I think I owe you pizza and a movie. -I mean if you're hungry. -Are you kidding? Right now I'm torn between kissing you. And checking the bottom of your shoe to see if you stepped in a donut. Let me just ditch Hannah. What about your omelet? Sorry dad. Love you but I got to go. I know pizza-boyfriend beats omelet-daddy every time. Thank you. Yes! [Singing to the tune of William Tell Overture] -She's got her guy -Her best friend, too. -Her life seems great -That can't be true. We've still got lots more show to do. Wash your hands to prevent the flu. [Horse neighing] What? It rhymes. And it's a good message for the kids. [Continues singing] You'll never guess what happens next. It twists and turns and gets complex. It's fun, it's sad, it's something new. -My legs are sore -My butt is, too. [Groans in pain] Stop bouncing so much. [Humming] [Singing] My Barefoot Cinderella. Got my Jesse and a pizza yeah, life's a breeze. Gonna get a deep dish with extra cheese. Oh. [Chuckles] Twelve-hundred miles and you still look like you just drove off the lot. How do you do it? Pretty much getting everything you want, aren't you? Yes I... -Pretty freaky, isn't it? -Oh boy. Man I can't believe you're gonna try to solve your problems. By letting your friends make all the sacrifices for you. I thought your father and I raised you better than that. [Scoffs] I didn't make them do anything. They did it on their own. Oh yeah. I'm sure Lilly really wants to give up her opportunity to go to Stanford. Come on. It's just for this year. We'll go together next year. If she gets in again. And there's no guarantee that she will and you darn well know that. [Softly] Keep it down. They'll hear you. I'm in your head! [Loudly] I can talk as loud as I want to! [Groaning] All right, all right. -Jeez! I'm annoying sometimes. -Tell me about it. And what about Jesse? Do you really think he's happy about being despised. By millions of people for breaking my heart? Ha-ha! You said my heart. We have the same heart and I know it's not broken. What do I have to say to that, huh? I'll tell you what I have to say. If you go on letting your friends do this for you. Sure they seem okay with it now. But deep down inside they're going to hate you for it. Hallucination brought on by over-tiredness say what? Do not "say what" me. I invented that. Oh please that was so me. Do you really want to have this argument? No. 'Cause I know it was me. Now my friends are not gonna hate me. So just poof right back in my head where you belong. They're gonna hate you they're gonna hate you. -Oh real mature. -Oh real mature. [Both muttering] [Mimicking Miley] I cannot believe I'm having this argument with myself. [Groans] Let me ask you something son. You ever thought about medical school? Law school? Any school? [Clicks tongue] Of course not. Sorry I took so long. Sometimes it takes a while to shake off Hannah. It's cool. No worries. Oh, I get it, I get it! Your stupid secret always comes first. -What? -I said no worries. You ready to go? Yeah, right. Lilly do you want to come with us? Oh yeah that'd be great. Pizza and a movie, that totally makes up for making me. Throw away the college of my dreams. Just 'cause of your miserable stinking secret! But you said you were okay with it. I am. I just said I wanted to go, didn't I? -Yeah, right. -Yeah come on you must be starving. And I can't wait. To just go out there and get ripped apart by an angry mob of Hannah fans! Yeah but who cares about us. As long as Little Miss Center-of-the-Universe is happy! -It's always about you! -Always! -You! -You! -You! -You! [Echoing] So who wants to drive? Will you stop it? Come on Lilly just come out and say what you're really thinking. Well I was thinking: who wants to drive? And now I'm thinking maybe I should. I'm not talking about who's driving. I'm talking about the secret! You both hate it and you hate what it's doing to your lives! Just admit it! Everything would be so much easier for you if I just told the world who I was! Oh come on Mile. Nobody ever said that. But they're thinking it dad! Aren't you? -Well I mean... -Maybe a little. But hey, look, that doesn't matter. I mean this is your life. And we're just trying to make you happy. Oh yeah. Be nice and guilt me into telling the secret. Well it's not gonna work. I just can't do it, okay? [Sighs] I can't. [Door closes] [Vocalizing] [Singing] The secret's messy, it's hurting Lilly and Jesse. Now she's all, now she's all. Poor little Miley's in a sad, sad place. All because she has a secret. Now she's all, now she's all. Poor little Miley's in a sad, sad place. All because she has a secret. You've had yourself quite a day, ain't you, bud? I seem to be having more and more of those lately. Gosh look at me dad. Being two people seemed like such a great idea back then. Yeah. That's because it was a great idea. It gave you the chance to kind of... I know, live a normal life. It doesn't seem to be doing such a bang-up job anymore. Well honey nothing stays the same forever. It's kind of like a mullet. A thing of beauty in its day. But I tell you what sooner or later even the party in the back has to end. Are you telling me that I need to give up Hannah Montana? No. I could never do that. Neither could Jesse or Lilly. The only one that could ever answer that would have to be you. Please don't say listen to my heart. -Darling it's just... -Or my kidney or my spleen. Or any other vital organs. Then what do you want me to tell you? I want you to tell me that... If I give up Hannah, everything will be okay. But I can't do that. What I can tell you is you'll be able to go to that school with Lilly. You'll be able to go out with Jesse without half the world hating him. You will have to give up your privacy. No matter where you go peoples are gonna recognize you. And they're gonna treat you different. Is it worth it? Only you can decide that. [Door closes] ["I'll Always Remember You" playing] I always knew this day would come. We'd be standing one by one. With our future in our hands. So many dreams, so many plans. I always knew after all these years. There'd be laughter, there'd be tears. But never thought I'd walk away. With so much joy but so much pain. And it's so hard to say goodbye. But yesterday's gone. We've got to keep moving on. I'm so thankful for the moments. So glad I got to know you. The times that we had. I'll keep like a photograph. And hold you in my heart forever. I'll always remember you. Another chapter in the book. Can't go back but you can look. And there we are on every page. Memories I'll always save. Up ahead only open doors. Who knows what we're heading towards. I wish you love, I wish you luck. For you the world just opens up. But it's so hard to say goodbye. Yesterday's gone. We've got to keep moving on. I'm so thankful for the moments. So glad I got to know you. The times that we had. I'll keep like a photograph. And hold you in my heart forever. I'll always remember you. Every day that we had all the good, all the bad. I'll keep 'em here inside. All the times that we shared every place, everywhere. You touched my life. Yeah, one day we'll look back we'll smile and we'll laugh. But right now we just cry. 'Cause it's so hard to say goodbye. Yesterday's gone. We've got to keep moving on. I'm so thankful for the moments. So glad I got to know you. The times that we had. I'll keep like a photograph. And hold you in my heart forever. I'll always remember you. I'll always remember you. I'll always remember you. [Mouthing] Thank you. So Hannah you said you had some big news for us. Half of our staff thinks you're running for governor. The other half thinks you're going back on Flitter. And Lenny hoping you're back for him. No, no, and Lenny, get a life. I mean, what is that? I don't want to be pushy. But I've never had the same person on twice in one week. Actually, Jay, that's still kind of true. I'm not the same person. No. No of course you're not. [Whistles] I think it would be easier this way. Where are you going? What are you doing? Hey Lenny, I'm starting to think you dodged a bullet with this chick. [All murmuring] I wrote this song about An 11-year-old girl who wanted to be a rock star. But she also wanted a normal life, so She pretended to be somebody else and That was great for a little while, but She's 17 now and life is even more complicated. And she just doesn't want to pretend anymore. Her name is Miley Stewart. [Audience gasps] Whoa. Take that kitty cat flushing a toilet! [Laughing] Anyway. It's been a long time since I've sung without my friend here, so I hope you like it. [Singing "Wherever I Go"] Oh, yeah. Here we are now. Everything's about to change. We face tomorrow as we say goodbye to yesterday. A chapter ending but the story is only just begun. A page is turning for everyone. So I'm moving on, letting go. Holding on to tomorrow. I've always got the memories. While I'm finding out who I'm gonna be. We might be apart but I hope you always know. You'll be with me wherever I go. Wherever I go. So excited I can barely even catch my breath. We have each other to lean on for the road ahead. This happy ending is the start of all our dreams. And I know your heart is with me. So I'm moving on, letting go. Holding on to tomorrow. I've always got the memories. While I'm finding out who I'm gonna be. We might be apart but I hope you always know. You'll be with me wherever I go. It's time to show the word we've got something to stay. A song to sing out that will never fade away. I know I'll miss you but we'll meet again someday. We'll never fade away. So I'm moving on, letting go. Holding on to tomorrow. I've always got the memories. While I'm finding out who I'm gonna be. We might be apart but I hope you always know. You'll be with me. So I'm moving on, letting go. Holding on to tomorrow. I've always got the memories. While I'm finding out who I'm gonna be. We might be apart but I hope you always know. You'll be with me. Yeah, wherever I go. Wherever I, wherever I go. [Music stops] [Audience cheering] Whoo! [Singing to the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star"] It used to be that no one knew. Except a very, very few. -Lilly. -Ollie. -Jesse. -Jake. That one was a big mistake. I think that's it except for you. And all of Crowley Corners, too. Hot in Cleveland is recored in front of a live studio audience. Did you know Cleveland was originally spelled... c-l-e-a-v-e-l-a-n-d? From John Moses cleaveland, - see, their dropped the 'a'...! - Shut up! Thank you. The nominations for the daytime emmys... - were just announced. - Oh. All right, who cares, who cares, ah-- best actress. Susan lucci... Well-deserved. Crystal mcallister, nobody, nobody, and... Victoria Chase! Yay! Good for you. Oh, it's my 16th nomination. Uh, waiter? Uh, I realize it's only 8:00 in the morning, but we're celebrating, and I would like... some champagne in my orange juice. You mean the usual? Yes. Although I've never won this thing. And this year, I definitely don't have a chance. Crystal mcallister from the strong and the gorgeous... pulled a really underhanded stunt. What'd she do? She died. Aka award magnet. You know I can't compete with death. Oh, it's my son. He's driving back to college from L.A. And I begged him to stop here on the way. So he's gonna be here this afternoon. Well, how's he doing? You know, I don't know. He rarely speaks to me. I get the occasional grunt on mother's day. Oh, kids can be so ungrateful. I mean, you get them the best nannies money can buy... and then they blackmail you with threats... to write a mommie dearest. Oh, look who's back from Hollywood. What was it like doing Brad pitt's eyebrows? Does he smell like fresh cream... on a fine spring morning? 'Cause that's how I imagine it. Elka, celebrities are just like everyone else. You take that back. Oh, I'm just starting to wonder... if there isn't more to life... than removing celebrities' unwanted hair. I think I'm having a mid-life crisis. Mid-life? You know, if you really are having a crisis, maybe you should see a therapist. The only therapy I need is liquid therapy. Hello. Victoria got another emmy nomination. Congratulations. She can't win. She's up against a dead girl. You didn't have Susan Lucci killed, did you? No. That was just trash talk. the oddest thing just happened. My Agent says that there's this huge Internet rumor... that I'm dying from some disease called... Well, I can't even remember the name. Flett-giordano syndrome. And you're welcome. What? You started the rumor? Well, now you can beat the dead girl... at her own game. But-- but you can't just say that I have a disease. I've never even heard of it. Well, no one has. That's the beauty of it. Uh, Victoria Chase. Yes, I'll hold for people magazine. Elka. I need a list of really fun things... to do in Cleveland. Will's coming, and we haven't really... spoken much since the divorce, and I really wanna reconnect with him. So if you were a 20-year-old boy, what would you wanna do with your mom? Watch her buy me beer? Hey, joy. Where you been? Okay, don't go all Melanie on me, but I decided to take your suggestion... and I met with a couple of potential therapists. Wow. How did it go? They're all so nosy. Asking me questions about... my childhood and feelings and sex... and saying I need to come in four times a week. I mean, who can talk about themselves for that long? And then at age 12, I decided becoming an actress... would be the best way to serve humanity. No, no, no, thank you. Oh, Elka. You are a genius. Elka came up with this Internet rumor... that I have this very, very promotable deadly disease. Well, I'm sure nothing could go wrong with that. Oh. It's a text from my Agent. Entertainment weekly and in style magazine... both want me. Oh, and, and also, the flett-giordano syndrome foundation... want to come and meet with me here. Oh, well, this will just legitimize the hell out of it. What kind of disease is it? I-I don't know. Elka? You know, I'm, I'm happy to lie to win, but I-I don't wanna lose my hair or anything. - The only symptom is fatigue. - That's perfect. I mean, I can play tired in my sleep. Ah, luckily, this disease hasn't affected my wit. Oh, that's will. My baby's here. Hi, honey! - Hi, just a sec. - Okay. It's good to see you. - Good to see you, sweetie. - Yeah. The facial hair makes you look a little... Foreign, but cute. Come on in. You know joy and Victoria. - Both: Hey, will. - Hi. Ah, this is Elka Ostrovsky. Nice to meet you, will. Nice to meet you too. Well, your mom picks up and moves to Cleveland. You must have a million questions. No, I'm good. I fixed up the guest room for you, but I thought maybe we'd go out to lunch first. I kinda just wanna crash, if that's cool. Sure. Sure. It's cool. Very cool. Do you want me to show you where the room is? - I'll find it. - Yeah. You can find it. You're good like that. He can find it. I hope it's your daughter... who's gonna decide which home to put you in. Well, this is fun. The two of us. Getting a chance to talk and catch up... and shoot the breeze. So how's school? - Good. - Oh. Yeah? Well, you certainly have a lot to say... To someone. - What? - Nothing. You know. I text. So I get it. Sorry, what did you say, mom? You know, lol. Omg. Om-- you know what--g. You know it's not cursing if you say a letter, mom. Oh, sure. Sure. "F." "F!"... You know, honey. We never got a chance to talk about the divorce. And we can do that, if you'd like. No, I get it. Stuff happens. I'm good. Okay. Did you know... That Cleveland was originally spelled... c-l-e-a-v-e-l-a-n-d? The Cleveland spelling? You went to that? I was desperate. And how does that make you feel, Melanie? What? It's an annoying question, isn't it? But all the therapists ask it. I've been trying different ones every day. It's a little bit like dating... except you're not trying to hide how crazy you are. Hello. All. Victoria, are you okay? You look exhausted. Oh, good. I was just making sure... 'cause the foundation people will be here soon. Oh, that's will's phone. Why is it he can talk to everybody else but not to me? You mustn't blame yourself. Now I-I did absolutely everything I could... for both my kids. You've got three children. Ah. Oh, if this phone could only talk. Well, it can if you want it to. Everything you want to know about will is right in there. His friends, his music, everything. No, no, I-I can't invade his privacy that way. I can. No, put that down. Someone's texting him. It's from Stephanie. "Did you tell your mom yet? Did she freak?"... Freak? About what? What does he need to tell me? Well, find out yourself. Pretend you're will and text her back. I shouldn't do that. But as a mother, I need to know what's going on with my son... by any means possible, right? - Indeed you do. - Absolutely. Okay. "How should I tell her?"... Oh, I shouldn't have done that. I just totally violated his privacy. I am done with this. Ooh, she texted back. "Why are you texting like an old lady?"... Ah, you shouldn't have spelled everything correctly. Oh. "Just tell her we're getting married"? Oh, my God. He's only 20 years old. I've never even heard of this girl. And how does that make you feel? Uh, "my mom got married young... and still regrets it." That ought to do it. "Are you trying to tell me something?"... What, is she stupid? "Just that we should slow down." "I h8 u, d'bag." What does that mean? Well, 8 could be ate. Like, "I ate something." - Mm. - And d'bag is like da bomb? I hate you, douche bag. Hey, Elka. Thanks for letting me borrow this. Oh. What did you think of my mall walk mix? Not bad. A little surprised by all the Justin bieber. Really? I love her. He's a guy. They keep saying that. But I'm not buying it. What am I gonna do? I-I broke them up. He's gonna hate me. Oh, will. Hi, honey. Is that my phone in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me? Oh, God, that's all kinds of wrong. Uh, no. Mine. - Okay, I'm gonna go shower. - Okay. Quick. How do I write her back? Just text her everything ys. Yeah, compliment her face without makeup, and tell her it's the best sex you ever had. This is my son. Oh, they're here. All right, uh. Look, I'd love to stay... and help you pretend to be your son, but I have to go pretend I'm dying. Hello. I'm Victoria Chase. This is Dr. Lori Hernandez. I'm Dr. Robert Moore. It's a pleasure to meet you. Ah. Likewise. I'm sorry for staring, but I'm just surprised at how well you look. Oh, thank you, but I'm tired. So very tired. Please sit. I know that I need to. Hmm, that's very odd. What? You're not limping at all. Limping? It's the first symptom of flett-giordano. Would you just excuse me for just one moment? Where's Elka? She said this thing had no symptoms... and I'm out there... limping around like Dr. house. Elka said she looked it up on Wikipedia. Wikipedia? Wikipedia says that I'm 37. And I should know. I'm the one who "corrected" it. Okay, calm down. I'll look it up online. Oh. I'm terribly sorry. Uh... So in, in terms of publicity, I was thinking-- miss Chase, when exactly were you diagnosed? Uh, last week. Why? The most acute symptoms... occur within the first week of onset. By now, you should be having trouble with... facial drooping, involuntary body spasms, word slurring, hysteria. Boy, this thing is awful. Yes, it is. That's why we applaud your courage in going public... with such a disfiguring disease. Disfiguring? Who said anything about disfiguring? Well. There's that hysteria. Miss Chase, I understand why you're wearing this scarf, but may we just take a look? Oh, um, listen. Could you just excuse me for just one more second? Wow. This sucker's got a lot of symptoms. No shissh, Sherlock. Good luck faking the goiter. Goiter? Oh, my God. That's why they wanted to see my neck. Oh, good lord. Ooh. - It worked. - Yay. She says she loves you and she's sorry and-- oh, she's sending you a picture. Yes. Perky. Just erase it. He's coming. Done. Hey, will. We found your phone. Oh, awesome, thanks. Oh, no. What, is something wrong? It's just this girl, Stephanie, I have to break up with. What? She's kind of psycho and we dated a couple months. Now she thinks we're engaged. Yeah, because you proposed to her. Were you spying on my phone? Ugh... Oh, honey, yes. And that's how I found out you were engaged. And I went crazy so I texted back. And then we broke up, but then we got back together again, and now she thinks that you love her more than ever. Oh, honey, I just wanted things... to be better between us. By doing something completely Shady. How could I ever trust you again? Oh... Honey. No, will. I'm sorry. Well, on the plus side he's not getting married. And you raised a son with enough character... to break up with the wrong girl... even though she has... a truly spectacular set of knockers. And the reason I don't have a goiter... is because as an actress, my... My vocal chords are so highly developed. Well, 's coming. Now, um, miss Chase, which of your parents is asian? What? Well, the disease is only carried... by people of asian descent, so-- ah. Yes. Well, my father, you'll see, is asian. Okay, you know what? I just--I can't do this. You see, I don't really have the disease. What? I just said that I did because I thought... it would help me win an emmy. Well, that's... Reprehensible. I know. I--I feel terrible. As you should. Although, in the last week, she has brought the foundation... a great deal of money and attention. It would be nice not to share offices... with the toenail fungus people. Wait, what are you saying? Well, um... If you attend our fundraising event next week, we promise not tell everyone that you're a... Despicable liar. Well, I guess that I, I don't really have a leg to stand on. No, and while we're on that subject, work on your limping. Oh, and get dark glasses. You'll be blind by then. Oh, there you are. Your mum went out looking for you. I know. Oh, I lost her two streets over. Look, she made a mistake. But she was just trying to get you to talk. I know. And how does that make you feel? What? Never mind. I'm gonna tell you how it makes you feel. See, for the past week, I've been seeing therapists... and they've been trying to get me to talk. But I don't like it. Partly because it's none of their bloody business. But mostly because I'm afraid if... I do start to open up and let it out, I might completely fall apart. Is that how it makes you feel? Yeah, that's pretty much it. So I just don't wanna talk about it at all. But it doesn't make you any less angry, does it? No. Look, I understand. My dad left my mum... and it really messed with my head and my trust. And when I was in my 20s, I let my guard down, fell madly in love, planned a huge wedding, and the guy didn't show up. - Wow, that really sucks. - No kidding. Must have been so humiliating. I don't like to dwell on it. I mean, just standing up there in your wedding dress... and all those people staring at you? The point is, I know a little bit about anger. And it's not healthy to hold on to it... or to take it out on other people. Especially someone as sweet as your mum. It's killing her that she can't connect with you. I gotta tell you, whoever that guy was, it was his loss. Thank you. Because you must have been so hot back then. Yes. Way back then. Oh. Here she is now. Talk to her. It'll be fine. I promise. Hi, sweetie. Listen, um... I don't know what to say. Neither do I. But we can try. Really? Yeah. So where do you wanna start? Well, the fact that dad's engaged to a 25-year-old... Or that I think I have a crush on joy... and I'm pretty sure she's feeling it too? Oh, wow. All right. So why did Cleveland drop the "a" from its name? Well, the masthead for the newspaper? Mm-hmm? They figured out that it was, like, not long enough... Well, we're not bffs yet, but he did promise to text me at least once a week. Thank you, joy. Oh, hey, how did the foundation fundraiser go? Utterly exhausting. But it'll be worth it just to see the smile on my face... when I win that emmy. And, of course, announce my miraculous recovery. Yes. You know what? You know, I feel like I really did a good thing. You know, which gives one a certain glow, a little something extra. I'll say. I notice even now a few people looking my way. In fact, quite a few people, like... I'm still wearing the goiter, aren't I? Oh, I bet it feels good to get rid of that thing, doesn't it? Oh, it really does. I was talking to the goiter. One quarter of workers laborers Boston thief produces many of the banks thiefandarmoredvehicles, than anywhere else. Charlestown "bankrobberyhasbecome a real business in Charlestown, passedfromfathertoson. " Federal Agent Division of robberies in Boston. "IamproudtobefromCharlestown. ruinedmylifeliterally but I'm proud. " A resident of Charlestown The Boston Globe. Driver's name is Arthur Shea. Former officer of the Metropolitan Police, the age of 57 years. As soon as his partner will lead to leave bags of money Artie door opens and closes in a his colleague until he returns. Marty Maguire. Agent însoþitor on armored cars. 179 cm height, 100 pounds, 52 years old. Collect money every day Wednesday and Friday, promptly at 8:12 pm. Earns $ 110 per day GIS and wearing a pistol, caliber 9 mm. And soon, will be robbed. If you see any helicopter Swat or troops, put it. If you see any cross-timer, stop, pull the engine block and move on. - Nobody should be hurt. - Yes, but the guards like to check. If you do not want to be injured for $ 10 per hour, not to stand in my way. Let's go. Do not move that one! Everybody face the wall! Come on, move the up! Everybody face the wall! -Give you the way! You get away from your computer. - You're dead! - No, no! - Go, go! Come on! - Down! - No! Wait a little! - Down! Down! Now! Face to the floor! - Move that up! Come on! - Move that up! Down! Everyone to get mobile BlackBerry. - Everyone to put down the phone. - Come on. Put down the phone! - Put them all-in bowl. - Come, come, miscaþi sure! - Put it on the floor! - Come on. Put them in a bowl. - Descãlþaþi sure. Come on! - Get back on the floor! Come on! What are you doing? - Descãlþaþi sure! - Let's go. Come on, get up! Come on, get up, get up! Get up! Let's go. You, go, get up. Let's go. Hai! - Get back on the floor! - Phooey! - What time is set to lock? - At 9:00. We are not minds. It's set at 8:15. Listen, not your money. Understand me? Let us not minds. Drãguþo,siton thefloor! And you, bro. Give it up. Without alarm. Open it clean. No stalling. This guy is friends with you? Come on! Faster! No hurry, right? Breathe. - Finally! - Give yourself a hand. At the door. What's going on? You open We have to go. Let's go. - Let's get out of here. - Come on, move that up. Let's go. Ah station standby They pulled the alarm at this address. - Who did it? - Nobody has done nothing. What? - What did you say? - No a. .. - You have triggered the alarm? - No. No. - You were? - I have no alarm triggered. Minds, motherfucker! Easy, easy. Enough! - It 's okay. - Phooey! - Come, go. - You're lucky, you bastard! Let's go! Where would you get you parked your Prius? What the hell is that? If the cops keep coming for November we need it. It displays up! Give it up. Avoid all main roads. Shit! You'll be fine. All right? N-one to hurt anyone. TIME AND SITE Translation and adaptation: crime, AMC, longing, Black Amber Adian Tureac subs.ro subtitles-team team - What happened? - Sounds like van Hall. Have not yet been reported as stolen. Room two is not working. They used to cover the van door as a. They poured all over the organic solvent. They destroyed all the fibers of clothes, so that we can not gather evidence. Alarm was triggered both a Cabin number two by Deputy Director at Beth Israel. Expected that boys have a lock electronics to be opened, then put it on directories to open the safe. - Have a little risked. - I do not know what to say. Vault walls have a thickness three meters. The hottest man is the key. They found the alarm device against fire and emiþãtoarele. They found the van. Fire. Where is it? Where do you think? Where is Jem? Maybe on the way here, and stopped someone set fire to houses, or to rob a liquor store. I have no idea. I started we take hostages? No, not we. You wanted to talk with this fucker? Speaking of the devil ... Have you succeeded? - Lost? - We have a problem. - What? - Look. And what if. What? Let me see. - Phooey! - Have you seen the address? Trash it stands at four streets away from here. Yes, and I know where we are, Gloans. Damn! You'll see the bastards on the street every day? - I saw nothing. - Jesus! Are you sure? Take her by car did not help. I'll take care of it. How will you deal? We will aim, Carl, until we learn. - What can we find out? - If you are scared. - It's already scared. - Can not scared enough. Thanks, Kate. Miss Keesey, I'm Special Agent Adam Frawley. I deal with the bank robbery investigation. Need to tell you we take fingerprints to eliminate them from the list of suspects. I see that you have given us a preliminary DECLARATION. I want to talk about your abduction. Well. I understood that you were threatened. One of them stole my license management. You tried to escape? No. We can identify in any way? Do you have evidence to stand as witness? I tried to escape because they were înarmaþi. I understand. Then they let you go? Yes, I have let you go. You should not have a lawyer here? You're not charged, but anyone asks a lawyer is guilty. - I believe that you did not need. - Okay. Give my regards to Sion and Noa. You... Who would want to tell the princess anything about you? You little... son of a... Let me go! Look at that! Protect His Excellency! Let His Excellency, Field Marshal Klom withdraw! They're a bunch of damned fools! You are, too. You Roland folk are all idiots. Truly foolish and good for nothing. I can't stand it, so I'll bail you out. Hey, you sons of bitches! Save those Roland fools! Prepare to fire large-scale magic! If we fire that in a situation like this, we'll hit our own people. He should absorb the magic. That can buy us some time! Fall back! Damn it... Captain Milk! Luke made you a delicious cake! Please come out, Captain Milk! Ryner Lute departed from his inn this morning and hasn't been seen since. After Captain Milk visited him. That directive... Maybe I was wrong to have shown it to him. I know that you're hiding. How about showing yourself? So, what business might you have with me? Milk Callaud is in our custody. Oh? And? We'd like you to come with us, Luke Stokkart. And if I refuse? Milk Callaud will not live. I see. I thought it was strange that Ryner Lute would take the captain with him. So that's it. The ones who abducted her were all of you. And your aim was me? What are you babbling on about? Come quietly! This is... Yes, it's a Magic Trap. Ah, I'd recommend not moving. If you lift a foot, you'll be blown away without a trace. After all, I'd rather not have fellow servants of Roland die. How did you? I can tell from the way you carry yourself. You're all people who received martial training in Roland. And the person who has employed men like you, who has abducted Milk Callaud, and who has business with me, would likely be none other than Miran Froaude. I'm impressed. You've done your research on me, have you? Lord Froaude, my deepest apol... You are Lieutenant General Miran Froaude, I presume? It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Sergeant Luke Stokkart. I'm well aware of your strength. Undefeated in twenty battles. And all in situations with numerical inferiority that should have spelled certain defeat. You've done impressive research, considering that in most of those battles, I never gave my real name. It seems men of this caliber weren't even enough to properly test you. Where is Captain Milk? Before we discuss that, there is a favor I would ask of you. Please follow His Majesty's orders and kill Ryner Lute. I respectfully decline. That matter is none of your concern. Let there be darkness! Let there... This is... If you move any further, your fingers and arms will go flying. Come to think of it, didn't I promise to carry the dango? Ferris is probably pretty pissed. Vestiges of that day I had forgotten Faint in the direction of the sky Our hearts should have been connected The trembling eyes don't answer No matter how much I believe No matter how much I want to convey This voice won't reach Filaments of light Carve everything into my body From here where I set out walking Memory segments Untie the strings of fate that now bind me I want to grow strong So that when we meet again I can give you more protection Crap. I left in such a rush that now I'm almost out of pocket money. Why do monetary economies even exist? This sucks! Ugh, I want to go to a world where I can just nap all the time. I really, fervently want that. Astal thinks he's going to a safe place. Fifty Magic Knights. What a clown. He thinks he can bare his fangs at the prince and win. Hilarious! You sick-minded manipulator! Don't you dare look at my sister that rudely! The prince? Brother. What's the matter, Sister? I can't breathe! Ferris, you always spoil Iris so. Jobs should be thoroughly finished. If we let a man like this live, it would sully the Eris family, would it not? What's your intent? Is the prince behind this? Does that mean Sion is also a prince? The Eris family serves only the king of Roland. The true king. The king? We must see whether or not Sion would be a suitable king. Will he make it back alive, faced with a troop of fifty Magic Knights? Impossible. I could do it. Sion isn't you. He most certainly isn't. But he carries something. You met Sion, and as a result, you saved his life. Don't you find that fascinating? I'm not particularly fascinated, no. Staying asleep Losing sight of you It makes me want to break everything right now If I can't hear the words I yearn for again I'd carelessly offer my life Desires that cuddle With a fading light It's lonely Will the morning sun come before me? Answer me Is there a love that binds us? Stand and face the despair we invited The wills of the people Born and destroyed Choose the future and open the lock All groups, commence preparations. Securing water takes priority. Everyone who's not busy, pitch some tents. Going to fetch some water! Don't drag your feet. Hey, lend a hand with the tent-pitching! What a pain. No thanks. - Hey, Kiefer! Say something to Ryner! - Oh, my poor stomach... Ah... sorry, I didn't hear you. Kiefer, the layabout says he won't help with tent-pitching. Ryner only listens to you, Kiefer. You did something to Kiefer, huh? - Not a thing. - She's definitely not herself, though. You're all so dense. I mean, we're in a war! When you think what might happen to the one you love, of course it's a downer. Or did Kiefer say something to you before our dispatch? You dying scares me the most. Hey, c'mon! What? ! Welp, I'm off to fetch water. We're off to the woods to gather some firewood. What about the tents? Take care of it while we're out, okay? Ah, it's so nice and clear out today, huh? Good luck, Ryner! Then I guess I'll get an afternoon nap. Ryner... Ryner, would you run away with me? Come on, come with me. Not with Sion. With me... What are you talking about? I care for you, Ryner. I've always cared for you. Even though it was hopeless, I couldn't help falling for you. Ryner, you don't like me, do you? Oh, come off it, Kiefer. Joking around at a time like this? Yeah, you're right. I guess I can't have anything. - No, I didn't mean... - Even so, I didn't want you to die. I'm sorry, Ryner. I couldn't protect you. I offer up this contract to bear the spirit beast of light which sleeps within the atmosphere! Farewell. Tahile? You think you can escape from us, the Magic Knights of Estabul? What's happening? An enemy raid from Estabul! Red-armored knights are flooding in! They're attacking us... Red armor? The Estabul Magic Knights? All hands, retreat! Run into the woods, fall back and regroup! Sion! Are you safe? No, not Tahile... He had left to fetch water. He said we'd be safe as long as we stuck with Sion! - What happened to Kiefer? - I don't know. Let's split up here. Tony, Fahle, you two go ahead. We'll stall them here. Sion! Don't worry. Go! There may still be survivors, including Kiefer. You're going to save them? It's impossible! It does seem that way. - See them? - No. What's wrong? Hurry and run, Roland brats! If you don't run, you spoil our fun! I offer up this contract, to bear the spirit beast of light which sleeps in the atmosphere! Is he using that magic to accelerate? I offer up this contract, to bear the spirit beast of light which sleeps in the atmosphere! Are you okay? Yes, but you... that magic... You should know it. I didn't want to use it, though. Damn it. So that was... You! Why do you use our magic? He couldn't be! An Alpha Stigma bearer? The eyes said to bring forth disaster! I offer up this contract, to unleash... Stop! Don't use magic! I offer up this contract, to unleash the magic beast which dances through the skies! If you'd used that power sooner, everyone might not be dead right now! We only faced three of them, so we made it out alive. Besides, it's been seven years since I've used this power... You gave us an interesting spectacle there. How rare to see an Alpha Stigma, monster. Cower more! Amuse me, monster. You have an Alpha Stigma, right? Show me something nice. Do you get it yet, monster? Those two are the only ones left. We killed the rest. All of them. All of them? Are you still calm after hearing that? You're so boring. Hey! Stop. Please, just stop... People die. But it doesn't matter to you. - It doesn't matter. - You're wrong. - I'm not wrong. - You're wrong! Everything. Yours to toy with. Release it. Open up. Kill. Everything. Until everything disappears before your eyes. Hey, what's your problem? Don't defy me. Your molecules shall scatter like sand. What did you do? God. Devil. Hero. Monster. What will you call me? Finish him off! I offer up this contract, to unleash the power of the spirit which envelops the air! Analyze existence. Release. A god... First comes destruction. I bring forth nothing. I bless nothing. I save nothing. I just erase. Completely. Shatter. Monster... Break. Disappear. Collapse. Burst. What is this? My power... The contract is different... Erase... everything... - Ryner... - Ryner! You two are dangerous... Die... Damn... eyes... closing... Stop... don't... close... - Close them! - Stop... you... Ryner. Hey, can you hear me? Ryner! Again. Reinforcements? Senseless. Stop! Hmph, monster. You should have just behaved and stayed shut away in school. Kiefer... Is she alive? She's already been thrown into prison here. To begin with, who would have expected her to come back? Years ago, the eldest of her sisters died in a spy crackdown. The remaining two received our country's reeducation. We had the younger sister remain here, as a sign of loyalty to our country. Wouldn't it be quicker to just say you took her hostage? She was a foolish girl as well. Even though her younger sister is dead since long ago, in the end, she was worthless. Nothing is accomplished as long as the Astal brat survives. So he was your real target. Do you have any idea how much of a reprimand we got from those people? Is that what you called me here for? To complain and moan? Mind your tongue, monster! Ow... That one hurt a little. Of course it did! Are you mocking me? You're the one doing the mocking here. I'm always the one being mocked. I've had enough punishment. Could you throw me in jail before I drop dead? The king will grant one request, with your imprisonment. I'd sure like to stop this bleeding, but... Oh, I know. Hey, Kiefer. If you keep taking afternoon naps, your grades will drop. What's this? What are you doing here, Ryner? What could I say? - This su... - If you say this sucks, I'm beating you up. Don't hit me! Relax. The bleeding will start again. Why are you so badly injured? Forget the injuries. There's something I have to tell you. Your younger sister is gone. Apparently she was killed some time ago. How do you know that, Ryner? I see. I see it now. You're another pawn of Roland, aren't you? I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear that my sister is dead! Not from you, certainly! You knew it all? You knew that, and laughed? When I said I cared about you were you laughing at me for being such a foolish girl? I had a vague idea that my sister might be dead. But what could I do? I... I... Why do we have wars? I've got no interest in who owns what land. That's why I said I liked afternoon naps the most. Tahile, Tony, and Fahle all died senseless deaths. What are you saying? It must be the motivated guys who start wars. But the guys without motivation always get sucked into them. So what should the guys with no motivation do? Unlike Sion, I've never wanted to be involved in troublesome things like changing the country. Is there some place where I could just take afternoon naps and live my life without hurting anyone? What? Hey... Kiefer, did I say something strange? Are you almost ready? Oh, right! Okay, Kiefer, come here a second. - What? - Go on, go on. Congratulations to you for your release. Congratulations to me for my imprisonment. - What's this? - Do you agree with this, as your request? Perfect. Deal concluded. What's this all about? Written orders. Release of Kiefer Knolles in exchange for Ryner Lute's imprisonment. Who are you? A fiend so great who can make direct deals with the military? Not really. Why would you do that, Ryner? I betrayed everyone. I got everyone killed... People don't kill people. Monsters do. War is a monster. Kingdoms are monsters. Greed is a monster. And I'm a monster, too. But you're human, Kiefer. In here, I can rule as the king of the Kingdom of Afternoon Naps. Kiefer, go outside and... Now I know why I fell for you, Ryner. Because you were so unmotivated, I never felt like I had to be cautious around you. I could be at ease. That's what I thought, but I was wrong. It's really because you're kind. And... because you're strong. Ryner, you're no monster. I guarantee it. Thank you, Ryner. I'll live on. And mark my words, I'll... I'm going. Open up. That surprised me. I thought I was going to suffocate. What's wrong? Are you injured? A little. Are you a fool, volunteering to be imprisoned? It was hard getting a visitation here. You didn't have to bother. I'm just being kept in a prison cell instead of a school, now. When I close my heart When I close my heart What's this? When I close my heart I'm leaving a horse in the northern woods tonight. To the scent of impending darkness I'm leaving a horse in the northern woods tonight. To the scent of impending darkness If you do that, you'll be a suspect. A refrain of a far-off day of resurrection If you do that, you'll be a suspect. A refrain of a far-off day of resurrection They don't have the guts to imprison a war hero. Seeking to overcome resounding pain It could ruin your good name as a hero. Seeking to overcome resounding pain I've managed up until now. Seeking to overcome resounding pain You seem to have a lot of people who wish misfortune upon you. For that transparent future I saw with you You seem to have a lot of people who wish misfortune upon you. For that transparent future I saw with you Please, Ryner, hear me out. This is the only chance we'll have. For that transparent future I saw with you I can't guarantee I'd be able to visit you after this. Off in the sweeping emptiness I can't guarantee I'd be able to visit you after this. Off in the sweeping emptiness And I'm not that confident in myself anymore. If you stay by my side... And I'm not that confident in myself anymore. If you stay by my side... My friends are dead. A war has started. The fact that I'm not king right now... I'll stretch my hand out My friends are dead. A war has started. The fact that I'm not king right now... I'll stretch my hand out Those are all failures on my part. I'll stretch my hand out Towards the soaring skies of our oath I want to be the light that protects I want to be the light that protects - Ryner? - It's too much bother. I want to be the light that protects Besides, who knows what'll happen even if things go well? Your fleeting dreams, your tears Besides, who knows what'll happen even if things go well? Your fleeting dreams, your tears Ryner, do you want to stay like this? Break free from your cruelty-stained destiny Ryner, do you want to stay like this? Break free from your cruelty-stained destiny I'm enjoying afternoon naps at my leisure here. Break free from your cruelty-stained destiny What will afternoon naps accomplish? ! Break free from your cruelty-stained destiny I'll take an afternoon nap, and think about it after that. I believe in it I'll take an afternoon nap, and think about it after that. I believe in it Ryner! The other truth of my destiny Ryner! The other truth of my destiny It's time. Sir Sion, are you ready to go? The other truth of my destiny To another world To another world I'm going back to being locked up for a bit. To another world When you consider that this place gives three meals a day, it's pretty nice. When you consider that this place gives three meals a day, it's pretty nice. I'll see you later, Sion. Yeah, see you later. I've decided. Now that I've lost everything, I won't go astray any longer. Ryner, I'll be certain to... If you'd used that power sooner, everyone might not be dead right now! It never changes... War really does suck. Why would anyone want to have a war? It sucks just thinking about it. Lights out! A lot happened today. Not much will happen starting tomorrow. Well, that just means I've got plenty of time now. When I close my heart To the scent of impending darkness A refrain of a far-off day of resurrection Seeking to overcome resounding pain For that transparent future I saw with you Off in the sweeping emptiness If you stay by my side... I'll stretch my hand out Towards the soaring skies of our oath I want to be the light that protects Your fleeting dreams, your tears Break free from your cruelty-stained destiny I believe in it The other truth of my destiny To another world It really sucks, working hard, struggling. If I just sleep, nothing will happen. I was satisfied with that. But... see... "See you next time!" Nemuri toki agunete Kimi o miushinai Kowashitaku naru ima subete Nozomu kotoba ga nidoto kikenai nara Inochi sae mui ni sashidasu deshou Kiesou na kagayaki e to Yorisou omoi Kodoku da yo Watashi no moto ni mo asahi ga kuru no? Kotaete, futari o Tsunagu ai ga aru to Manekareta zetsubou no hate ni tachimukau Umarete horobiru Hito no ishiki koso ga Mirai o erabi, kagi o akeru So, what the hell is this? Dango, obviously. You bought this many? ! Don't be silly. You're buying them. Huh? Why me? As an apology for the failure the other day, obviously. Having us infiltrate a fortress for no reason. Leaving behind a hero relic we found without even using it. You're buying dango for me every day from now on, okay? You left it right along with me! What were we going to do? You think using a hero relic that's been resting for centuries is that easy? And how does that relate to buying dango? Yes, ma'am. I'll buy them. It would be my pleasure. - Very good. - Thank you, come again! Why does this happen to me? Damn it! This is all Sion's fault! He keeps pushing one pain in the ass after another on me! I'll bet he's having a nice meal in the castle right about now, or a lazy afternoon nap... Your Majesty, how do you intend to take responsibility for this matter? Watch your tone when addressing His Majesty! No, I shall be heard. You've been too soft. You granted status in our lands to the neighboring Estabul lord and nobles. You even guaranteed that the populace would keep their lifestyle. - That sort of attitude ferments... - Be silent! The boss makes his appearance. I beg your pardon, Your Majesty. But he also worries about the kingdom. I understand. Don't worry about it. As such, how do you plan to deal with this revolt? I have high hopes for a prompt response. A prompt response? It's only been two days since we first received notice. We don't even know the rebel army's stronghold or their ringleader. He's an irritating bastard. Countermeasures have already been arranged. We've done research on the ringleader of the revolt. The only daughter of the old king of Estabul, Lady Noa Ehn. Colonel Miran Froaude will fill you in on the information he gathered. According to our information, the Estabul side has roughly fifty thousand soldiers. - Fifty thousand! - That goes beyond any revolt. It's a war! It is likely that territories adjacent to Estabul will be caught in the fighting. For the time being, we'd like to have them evacuated to this castle. We shall be certain to protect all of your territories. You say to leave our territory? ! Are you lot saying you would trample our lands? I will never permit it! Do you have something you would prefer we did not see? C-Certainly not... You are free to remain there if you prefer, of course. Estabul's forces are only fifty thousand at most. Nothing to fear, surely. Your Majesty, I will be taking the army. We will guard each territory, and suppress the revolt. No, I shall place Rear Admiral Claugh Klom in charge of handling this matter. Consider it done. Froaude, take care of information gathering and dissemination. Offer Claugh your counsel. - Putting this guy in a supporting role? - That's an order, Claugh. Froaude, am I understood? Sir. Your Majesty. What is this about? You set up this revolt, didn't you? Spark a revolt among interested parties, and make a clean sweep of all anti-Roland forces at once. Using this war as an excuse to send soldiers to every territory, and pry into the misdeeds of the nobles of the anti-king faction. If that was the case, what would you do? I'd do nothing. You focus on your own job. Nothing more. My father is still in Roland? Are you concerned for your father? Your father, our king, sold his kingdom readily, in exchange for status and safety given by Roland. I know. But I think the people would be happier if Father led the revolt. We nobles, and the people, all adore you greatly. Our new lord, Lady Noa Ehn. Leave it at that. Are you afraid? I am afraid. What will happen if we don't win this battle? Roland's treated the people of Estabul well. Is fighting really necessary? Of course it is. To save the historic Estabul from Roland... I don't care what happens to the kingdom! The people come first! Will this really make the people happy? Isn't it just excessive bloodshed? I'll be satisfied if the people can live happily. Aren't you the one who taught me that, Salawell? Right now, our forces are still strong. So Roland won't get too brazen. But there's no guarantee of that in the future. I've heard terrible rumors about Roland nobility, too. If you truly want to consider the people, now is the time. If you speak thus, it must be so. For you, we would not shrink even from death. I want to make a kingdom where everyone can live with a smile, where everyone can be happy! Can I do it, Salawell? Of course you can! We shall henceforth do battle with Roland! We shall take back Estabul's independence ourselves! - Yeah! - Yeah! I bear a message from Rear Admiral Klom! The battle has commenced! Shuss, what are the enemy numbers? Roughly eight to nine thousand. Exactly as Froaude's information claimed. - I don't like it. - Sir? Nothing. We'll end this with minimal casualties. Let's go! All forces, advance! - The dogs of Roland! - What rock did they crawl out of? ! We can't use big spells in a tangled battle like this! Out of the way! Where are they? Where's the commander? ! Is it you? Are you this army's commander? ! You're... I just made mincemeat of the Estabul commander. If you resist any further, I'll kill you all. That bloodstained red ring... It's Crimson Fingered Claugh! That's Crimson Fingered Claugh, of Roland! Damn it. All this pointless killing of each other... Defeated again? It's like they're reading our army's every move! I told you! I told you it was reckless! - You pick a fine moment to say it! - Crimson Fingered Claugh? You said Roland's commander was Claugh Klom, did you not? Ma'am. From what I have heard, he has gone to extreme lengths to force our men to surrender without killing them, has he not? - Ma'am. - If that is how Roland battles... If that is the will of Sion Astal, the Hero King, then this fight is... Don't be ridiculous. That's the enemy's goal, no doubt. He's right! Once they take Estabul, they'll take out their anger and hatred, and lengthen the fighting! We still have a way. You must not falter, Princess. Rear Admiral Klom's army has surrounded the rebel army's main stronghold. What is the meaning of this? ! Withdraw the Roland army and release all war prisoners. If they do not heed our wishes, the people of Estabul will be beheaded on the spot. We sent a letter with that content to the Roland army. Roland's Hero King couldn't stand by and let commoners die. How could you? You're... I know. But this cannot be helped. I wish to protect you... Princess. You would take our people hostage for my sake? ! This is what the people want. If we lose now, what would happen to them? How badly would the people of a defeated nation be oppressed, and be disgraced? And taking our people as hostages brings them no disgrace? Can't this be stopped? It cannot be. I see. I am naught but a puppet ruler propped up by others. In the end, I couldn't save anyone, could I? Princess! The soldiers of Roland are! Our army's soldiers are attacking the Estabul fortress! What did you say? ! Our squadrons are all assembled... Huh? Then what squadrons are those? Did His Majesty send reinforcements? Sion said he was putting me in charge of this! There's no way he'd do that! - Then... - Don't tell me... It's him? That's impossible! Crimson Fingered Claugh would ignore hostages and attack? What do we do? If we lose after taking people hostage, we'll be executed! No, we haven't lost yet... Let's kill the hostages. I get it. Roland doesn't think we're serious! If we kill a hostage... - Cease this! - But... You've all done well. But this is it. Let us release the hostages. But, Princess... I shall do all I can. With my life alone! You must not! I cannot allow the Princess to die alone... I, too... I shall accompany you, Princess! - Me, too! - Princess! Your words alone are enough. Princess... All of you, please live on. And try to give the people of Estabul at least a little bit of happiness. For that, I would... You've created a problem for me. All of your cares for your kingdom are quite moving. However, in my view, Lady Noa Ehn's life alone isn't enough to atone for all of your crimes. Yes, is a tragedy not the most fitting adornment for the tragedy of the kingdom of Estabul perishing? Who are you? I am Miran Froaude, Colonel of the Imperial Roland Army. How did you get here? Did you kill every soldier outside? Certainly not. This castle wouldn't fall so easily. Of course, even if it did fall, Roland soldiers still couldn't come inside. After all this place will now play a part in the finale of the tragedy. Let there be darkness! - Protect the princess! - Got it! But we can't leave everyone... Get inside! Everyone's dead. The kingdom... The people... Everything's been lost. No, there's still something left. What do we have left? Your life. The cornered Estabul soldiers riot. They begin killing hostages. Salawell? The one commanding the riot is you, Princess. No... does that mean? And the one to kill the rioting princess and end the battle, the Estabul noble, Salawell Seile, is greeted by Roland as the savior of the kingdom. So our armies' being directly met, the suggestion to take hostages... That was all you? I trusted you. At first, though, I planned to make you my wife and take control of this kingdom. All I wanted was to make a kingdom where everyone could live happily. And yet... The world isn't moved by pretty words. Even still... Even still! How adorable you are, Princess. But this is the end! Please relax. Roland is not in need of a hero so badly that such a man could become one. A hero? Is this the doing of Roland's Hero King, Sion Astal? ! My king has no taste for such things. All of this is my doing alone. Then, the one to conspire with Salawell and lead us into revolt was... Yes, it was me. He saw through it and appointed Rear Admiral Klom to suppress the revolt, not me. That is the kind of man my king is. However, just as Salawell said, it is a fact that the world isn't moved by pretty words. After Lady Noa Ehn kills the hostages, she commits suicide. That is how the story goes. Would King Astal forgive that? Ideally, I wouldn't be found out, but perhaps he would come to forgive it? That is a king's caliber. Hey, lady. You hurt? You're the ringleader behind this revolt? You've gotten the better of me, Rear Admiral Klom. I wasn't expecting you to reach here so quickly. Answer the question! Rear Admiral Klom? Then, this man is Crimson Fingered Claugh? - Depending on your answer... - You'll kill me, right? I never thought Sion needed you anyway. You don't see the burden he bears. You're the one who isn't qualified to serve him. I don't need any qualifications to be at Sion's side! For the sake of the path he treads, I will kill Lady Noa Ehn and the hostages. If you continue to stand in my way... You think you can do it? A simple matter. No! That power is... For the sake of the people of Estabul, we cannot lose this man... - Let there... - We mustn't! Froaude! Colonel Froaude, if you must kill the hostages to completely conquer Estabul then I'll persuade them. The people, the soldiers... I'll get them to follow Roland! What are you saying? I think that will be far more effective than killing the hostages and ruining Estabul's reputation. Indeed. You are quite popular with the people of Estabul. But you might gain many detractors, calling you a traitor who sold out her kingdom. I don't mind. If you wish it, you may kill me afterwards. So... Don't kill everyone, please. Very well. The battle is over. Please call off your soldiers, Rear Admiral Klom. Wait, damn you! Hey, are you okay? I believe in you, and your king. Huh? Rear Admiral Klom, I can't bring myself to move. Would you mind helping me stand? Sure thing. Thank you. With all of you, I'm sure the people of Estabul will be... Again, people have died. Again, I made Claugh kill people. I knew this war was necessary. That's why I didn't charge Froaude with any crimes. I put Claugh in charge because I wanted to save more lives, even if only a few. Or is that just my excuse? Brother Sion, are you going to cry? I've read about it in picture books. That's a face on the verge of tears, right? It's the first time Iris has seen one! Sister Ferris never cries, and Brother Lucile always smiles, which is really scary! Lucile is quite scary. Hey, are you going to cry? C'mon! - I won't cry. - Did Iris come in at a bad time? Maybe. Okay, then next time! Next time you cry, be sure to show me! Didn't you have a report from Ryner and Ferris to give me? Oh, yeah. Here you go! The dog is Ryner, and the angel is Ferris, I take it? Yup! The wild beast and the dazzling beautiful avenging angel, Sister Ferris! Same as always, hm? What's this? Um, they dug a hole and pulled out a dagger-looking thing. They had no idea what it was and threw it, and a dragon suddenly came to life, they said! A hero relic? They really existed? - Your Majesty. - What is it, Miller? Have a look. You're certain of this? The information comes from him. You know who I mean, I'm sure. Iris. Sorry, but would you mind returning to Ryner and Ferris immediately? Okay, Ryner. Take care of today's portion. Dango, dango, dango, dango, dango! Sion, you... Sion, you! Overly vulgar words are forbidden. Semaru yami no kaori ni Kokoro tozasu toki Yomigaeru tool hi no refrain Hibiku itami o koete mezasu yo Kimi to mita sukitooru ano mirai e Oshiyoseru kyomu no kanata Kimi ga soba ni itekureru nara... Habataku chikai no sora e Kono te, nobasu yo Hakanai yume o, kimi no namida o Mamoru kagayaki ni naritai Zankoku ni somerareta sadame o tokihanate Shinjiteru Mou hitotsu no truth of my destiny To another world Huh? Search for the hero relic we just found again? What a pain! No thanks. Why is it that everywhere we go, things always become a giant pain? Yeesh, this really sucks. "The legend continues..." Open it or he dies. Open it. - Open it. Get out here. Get out here. Tell him to come out here. - Tell him. - Do what he says, Dennis. - Thanks. - Unh. Unh, please, don't do this. I've got three kids. Shut up. I know he tripped the silent alarm. I know there's a dozen cops out there just waiting to kill me. Then how the hell do you think you're gonna get out of here? Out the front door. Dawkins, you're surrounded. Drop your weapon or we will fire. Drop your weapon. Drop your weapon now. Fire. What the hell is this? His mouth is glued shut. This isn't Dawkins. Flight 106, arriving from Los Angeles, please proceed to baggage carousel number two. Commander McGarrett? This is about my sister, isn't it? She disabled a smoke detector on board in the bathroom which is a federal offense. So we arrested her soon as she landed. Great. Jail? Are you serious? It was just a cigarette. Okay, officer. I think we're good now. Steve McGarrett, from the governor's task force. You can release her into my custody. - Let me check with my supervisor. - Thank you. I'm sorry, I messed up. I missed you at dad's funeral, Mary. Yeah, well, something came up. Do you know the last time I saw you was at mom's funeral? I guess that's the way we do our family reunions. Because I was thinking it could have been cool to have a picnic in between or something, you know? - Picnic? - Yeah, a picnic. Something that, I don't know, normal families do. How'd you say you were injured again? Well, originally, uh, playing high school baseball. But, uh, it hasn't bothered me in a really long time. Anything traumatic recently with the knee? Yeah, actually, I got a new partner. I was thinking more about a physical injury. No, this guy is like a physical injury, doc. Uh, ten minutes after meeting him, I get shot and blasted backwards through a window, okay? A few hours after that, he drives a car, I'm not joking, on to the deck of a Chinese freighter ship. And, yes, I was in it. The car, not the ship. - He drove a car onto a boat? - Yeah, he's an animal. And I sort of get the feeling that he's just getting warmed up. - Ouch. - Yeah. - Uh, so how do I fix it? - You get a new partner. Yeah, I'd like that but I don't think that's gonna happen. Well, I'm seeing a slight tear on the ACL. So you're gonna have to stay off that knee for a couple of weeks, physical therapy, and I'll put you on some anti-inflammatories. Can I get those, uh, to go, please? I'll be back. Hey, stay. - I'm not a dog. - Stay. - What happened to you? - Oh, uh, I blame you. I tore my ACL somewhere in the last few weeks. All the fun we've been having together. Heh, well, once you're done bitching about your boo-boo, I'd love to know what's going on here. We got an escaped prisoner, three dead guards. Department of Public Safety is trying to figure out what happened. - Where's Chin and Kono? - Inside getting background. - That your sister in the car? - Yeah, I just came from the airport. If she were a dog, you could get a ticket for leaving her. - Can we just focus, please? - Yeah. Why do you have aneurism-face? - I don't have aneurism-face. - She gave you aneurism-face? How many times can you ask me? You gotta seek first to understand then to be understood. That's one of seven principles of successful people. I will literally pay you cash to stop talking, okay? Excuse me, officer? My pickup is around the corner, there's a woman in it. It's my sister, I'm putting her in your custody, okay? Get her some food, take her back to my office. Don't take your eyes off her till I get there, you got it? - Yes, sir. - Thank you. You happy? Hey, fugitive's name is Walton Dawkins. He's originally from the mainland but he did ten years at the Allen Correctional Facility in Cleveland for multiple home invasions. Apparently, our guy likes hitting families with big money. Then he violated his parole by coming to Hawaii six years ago. My guess it wasn't for the surf. Dawkins killed a couple during his burglaries. But get this, according to the warden, he's been a model prisoner until now. So, what changed? Yo, you all right, bro? Hey, guards. We need help in here. So right before the inmate collapsed, he was complaining of shortness of breath, pain in his arm. Textbook sings of cardiac arrest. Little young to be dropping dead of a heart attack, don't you think? - Yeah. - Not if he was poisoned. Found this stuff in Dawkin's cell. Nutmeg. Yeah, they got the prison bake sale coming up. Hang on a second. You can extract myristicin from nutmeg. It's an organic compound, it has psychoactive properties. It works like a drug, and in large doses, it's lethal and fast-acting. So Dawkins poisons an inmate as a distraction, shoots a few guards and walks out the door wearing one of their uniforms. In broad daylight? A lot of unnecessary exposure for someone trying to sneak out. Price off freedom? Maybe he didn't think he'd have time to dig a tunnel. What else have we got? One of the maintenance guys reported his car stolen. - We got H.P.D. a description. - Assume Dawkins knows that too. He's gonna abandon that car. We'll find it. It'll tell us where he's going. Watch this. Keep your eyes on the guard. Look at his holster. The safety strap's unfastened. Wait a minute. What the hell is he doing with a gun, anyway? Weapons are for towers, gates and transports only. - Maybe it was a rookie mistake. - No, not a rookie mistake. He's in on it. He wanted Dawkins to have that gun. What's in it for the guard? Whatever it is, it was worth putting an armed and dangerous fugitive back on the streets. Hey. Billy Omana, right? - Yeah? - Yeah, put those on. - Excuse me? - Oh, he said put them on. Who the hell you guys think you are? What did Dawkins offer you to help him escape from prison today? I don't know what you're talking about. Billy, if you answer incorrectly one more time, we're gonna put those scrubs on you, drop you in the general population. - How long you think you'll last there? - Heh, you can't do that. This here says I can. Dawkins said if I helped him, he'd give me 50 grand. And you believed him? He arranged for $10,000 to be wired into my account. It was everything he had. I'd get the rest as soon as he got out. Where'd he say the rest of the money was coming from? I don't know. He told me was there was a lot of it waiting for him on the outside, but in order to get it, he needed to get out today. Skeet, I'm Detective Williams, this is Commander McGarrett. We hear you and Walton Dawkins were neighbors. For four and a half years. Warden says you used to be pretty tight. Well, in the non-biblical sense, if you dig what I'm saying. So, what happened? Why the beef? I didn't appreciate him trying to gut me with a shiv last week. He said I was asking too many questions. Questions have anything to do about why he bounced today? It's possible I may have some pertinent information. But, uh, you're gonna have to play me for it. - Play you? That's right. You win, I'll tell you everything I know. What's to stop me taking that and beating it out of you? Bring it. They got better food at the hospital, anyway. What the hell you got to threatened me with, man? More lockup time? Okay. Might be able to help you shave some time off your sentence. - I'm doing double life, gimp. - Excuse me? You got a busted ear too, man? I'm on permanent vacation, no parole. You can shave ten years off my time but I ain't never getting out. So it's either B-ball with tall, dark and uptight here, or nothing. - I got all the time. - What do you get if we lose? I get the pleasure of beating a cop's ass in front of the whole yard. Oh, yeah, play basketball, it's not like we have a killer to catch. The clock's ticking. He's our best lead. All right, game's to 21. - Ten. Man's in a hurry. Okay, since, uh, you're a guest in my house, you take it in. I got a tip. So you know, the other guy putting the ball in the hoop is bad. Danno, shut up. Please, don't call me Danno, huh? - Yo, How long you two been married? - Come on, play ball. Okay, all right. Time out. Time out. All right, time. Ahem, you, uh, never played basketball, have you? - No, I've played once or twice. - Yeah? I could see that. It looked like I was watching LeBron, maybe he's just this much better: - Football was my sport, okay? - Now you tell me that? - Ready to quit? - Yes. - No. - Which one is it? Can you give me a second, please? Can I have some space? All right, listen to me. You're not gonna outshoot him, so out-D him. All right? Play it like it's football. Put a body on him, steal the ball away, put it through the hoop. Huh? What's he gonna do, call a foul? We're in jail. I can do that. No. No. That's game. Let's have it, man. All right, badge. Here it is. Couple weeks ago, we're in rec watching some tube. This Samoan dude walks by, he tries to change the channel. Dawkins almost throws down there. You should have seen him, his eyes were crazy. - Because he changed the channel? No, bro, it wasn't that. It was something on TV that made him go crazy. What was he watching? Dana, your luxury vacation includes first class airfare, seven nights at the Kahiko Hotel. All-access VIP passes to the annual Festival of the Islands, which kicks off two weeks from now, and since you'll need a little spending money while shopping on beautiful Kalakaua Avenue, - we're throwing in $ 1 million. - Aah! Aah! She's the reason Dawkins broke out of prison? She won a million dollars and a trip to Hawaii. Why her? Like there's not enough rich people on this island. She's away from home, out of her element. Dawkins sees her as an easy target. Whatever. I need everything on Dana, okay? Travel itineraries, flights, car rentals... Hey, guess what? I've done this before, but thank you. That's it, matches the description of the car Dawkins stole. Five-0, we'll take it from here. - What are you doing? Looking for cash. It's what Dawkins would have done. Empty. Says maybe he used whatever he found to buy something. - Food or water? - No. Dawkins knows his face is all over the news by now. If he wants to get off the island, he needs to change his appearance. - Coming in? It's a men's room. That's the luxury of carrying a badge, kid. You can go anywhere. Lemonade mix and mayo. It's old prison trick for dying hair. - Seriously? - Mm-hm. Looks like our man's a blond now. Purchases were made at an ABC Store just up the street. Fifteen minutes ago. Factor in the time for a dye job and he couldn't have made it very far. He could still be around here. You see that? - Excuse me, sir? - Every time I come across... - Sir? - It was off... Gotta call you back. Hey, bro. Where did you get the uniform? Traded for it. Not really my style. But the guy threw in a phone too. - Pretty sweet deal, huh? - We're gonna need that phone. So, what are you gonna trade for it? How about a pair of handcuffs? Yes, thank you very much. Okay. So Dana Thorpe and her fiancé Craig Ellers landed at Honolulu International this morning. Checked into a hotel ten minutes ago. - Chin. - Hey, H.P.D. found the car. Dawkins abandoned it about 15 minutes ago. - Parking lot, Kaka'ako Beach Park. - Got it. That's three blocks away from where Craig and Dana are staying. - Whoa. - Ha-ha-ha. Oh, my God. I couldn't stand it. Oh, my God. Me neither. Never has there been a longer line in the history of check-in lines. Unzip me. Mm. God, you are beautiful. What's it like being so beautiful? Clear. - Clear. Oh, no. No, no, no. Dawkins is gone, so is Craig. You're gonna be okay, we're gonna get you to a hospital. Craig. - We're gonna find Craig. Detective Kelly, Five-0. We need an ambulance. Kahiko Hotel. - Come on, come on, come on. - On the way. She's not breathing. Hang in there, Dana. Okay? Hang in there. It's all gonna be okay. We're gonna find Craig, okay? We'll find Craig. Hey, how is she? - She's in surgery. Didn't give me anything on the way. What do we got? Hotel surveillance cam picked this up right after the attack. Doesn't add up. Why take Craig and leave Dana? She won the money. Maybe they have joint bank accounts. Yeah, or maybe he wants Craig for something else. You know what? Freeze their accounts. I want thorough backgrounds on Dawkins, Craig and Dana. Run their names through NCIC. Chin, what about the phone you found? Dawkins got it from the car he stole. But the call history was erased. He must have made some phone calls, reached out to the phone company and sure enough, two calls were made right after the escape. The first one went to a local woman named Sofia Archuleta. Archuleta. That's, uh, Dawkins girlfriend. Warden said she's a regular visitor. She's the first one he's going to for help. What about the other call? That one was made to a local lightweight ex-con by the name of Makani Huku, they spoke for three minutes. Kono, follow up on the call with Makani, find out what they were talking about. Chin, pull Dawkins' jacket. See if we find any links on Dana and Craig. Easy. - We need to get an address for Sofia. I'll get it. You should change your shirt. You look like an animal. You should go apologize to your sister, she's been sitting there for five hours. Thanks, buddy. I'll take it from here. Mary, I'm sorry. You okay? Yeah. So is this your, uh, big "Welcome to Hawaii" plan? Pin me to some guy with a badge? Mary, I'm trying to keep you out of jail. Come here. Ahem. - What are you laughing at? - Punk, you're like, 7 years old. I don't get it, Mary. I mean, why come back here? You already missed the funeral. You think I feel good about not being there? Truthfully? I don't know, I can't tell. I mean, we were invisible to that man. I would have taken anything from him, even disappointment. Because at least it would have been something. Listen, Mary. You know this is really hard for you to accept, okay? But Dad loved us. He just didn't know how to show it, I guess. Hey, I got that address on Sofia Archuleta. Mary, right? Sis, meet Danno. Danny Williams. - What's up? - Not much. - A tie. Seriously? Ha, ha. - Ha, ha. What is it with you people and ties? We're in Hawaii. Wow, in stereo. Great. Thanks. You ready to go? Hey, perfect timing. - How is it, haole? - Shamu. What's with the stick? You got slammed in a cruncher? - Um, I don't know what that means. - Sand facial. You ate a big one, huh? There was no surfing accident. He, uh, busted his knee getting out of bed. - How white can you get? - Pretty white. - Who's this? - This is my sister, Mary. - Mary, meet Kamekona. - Hey. This is the reason I called. I want a friendly face to make sure she stays put. Oh, come on. You want me to babysit your little sister? - Correct. - Shoots, small kine. She doesn't leave this office, you under... Whoa, whoa! Hold on. Seriously? What if I have to use the bathroom? - Don't spill. Oh, God. So inappropriate. Can you quit staring at me like I'm a hot fudge sundae? - Got a boyfriend, little sis? - You got a girlfriend? I did, but we broke up. Tell me about it. Well, maybe I can help you get back with her. Boss, I'm at Makani's address. When I badged him, he tried to rabbit. Okay, come over here. Didn't get real far. What did he tell you about Dawkins? Makani runs a fake ID mill out of the back of his shop. Dawkins was in here about an hour ago. He picked up a driver's license and a passport under the name of Carl Isner. Update H.P.D. on the new alias. Make sure Homeland Security adds it to their no-fly list. Do you always have to walk so fast? That's Dawkins' girlfriend. Uh, you know, um, your sister, she, uh, wasn't what I expected. I mean, aside from her hereditary aversion to neckwear, she seemed to be cool. Are you saying I'm not cool? Well, in certain situations, like when you got a gun pointing in your face, or trying to decide whether to cut the blue wire or the red wire, you're good. But human interaction, mammal to mammal, room for improvement. - That's all I'm saying. - Thank you, Dr. Phil. - Can I get you guys something? - Yeah, Walton Dawkins. Excuse me? Well, yeah. First, Walton Dawkins, but then I would love some blueberry pancakes. I love pancakes in the afternoon. - You like pancakes, Sofia? - I like pancakes. - You do? - Yeah. Seem more like a napalm-in-the-morning-guy. Well, that too. I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Sofia. - It's a broad question. - Who the hell are you guys? Sofia, we know that you spoke to Dawkins this morning. You seem like a reasonable, nice lady, who has made some bad relationship decisions, which I can totally relate to. - So we're gonna give you a break. - Yeah. I mean, this can really only go two ways. First, you sit down, you tell us what we wanna know, then you finish your shift and you go home. Second, is that we arrest you in front of all these nice customers and you lose your job. And I gotta get my pancakes to go. Because you've been uncooperative, and helped a man who killed three people today, You go to jail for aiding and abetting a fugitive. Why don't you take a seat? You recognize this couple? No. Who are they? They're two tourists that your boyfriend attacked today, - Dana Thorpe and Craig Ellers. - They're staying at the Kahiko. - How do you know that? - I have a friend who works there. Last time I went to see Walton, he asked me to call her, find out when those two were scheduled to check in. That information got Dana shot. Look, he didn't say anything about hurting them. He just wanted to know when they were coming to Hawaii. Why? Okay, Sofia, Dawkins has this guy Craig right now and he's gonna kill him. The only way we can prevent that is if you tell us exactly what Dawkins said to you on the phone this morning. He said something about a big payday. Then asked me for my car. Dawkins is driving a 2010 silver Chevy Malibu. Car's got a vehicle recovery system. - Can you track it? No problem. Ready. VIN number's two, niner, whiskey, niner, alpha, alpha, seven, niner, two, eight, one. Give me 10 minutes. Hey, I pulled Dawkins jacket. You guys gotta see this. This guy's rasp sheet reads like a grocery list he's checking off. In Boston, he's jacking cars. In New York, he's robbing ATMs. Then he graduates to full-on bank robberies in Cleveland. Cops there suspected him of murdering his partner, name of Paul Stark. Five million dollars they stole together, never found. - Look familiar? - That's Craig. So no wonder he doesn't take Dana. He doesn't care about her money. He wants the 5 million he stole with Paul. Craig. - Kono? I got him. They just parked outside Pacific Rim Bank. I watched you die. Heh. You watched me pass out. Doctor said the bullet you put in me missed my vital organs. Well, uh, lucky me. Because, uh, now I get to collect the money that you hid from me, Paul. Or, sorry, what are you calling yourself now? Craig? Heh. You know, heh, I couldn't believe when I saw you on that game show. I thought I was losing my mind. But there you were, in the flesh. A second chance at getting what's mine. No, the money belonged to us. I figured you would double-cross me, so I moved it. Smart boy. But, uh, you're not so smart right now. You listen to me. I know about that Swiss Bank account where you moved my money to. Now here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna go in that bank and you're gonna wire the money to yourself. You're gonna get it out in cash. You can't just walk into a bank and take out $4 million. You just go in there and you get me what's mine. All right. Let's go. - I said no cops. - I didn't do anything. Go, go, go. Five-0 requesting back up, Pacific Rim Bank, shots fired. Everybody out. Are you the manager? Show me the back door, let's go. Chin, I see him. Hey, where is he? He took my car. - Kono. - I'm on it. Shoulder wound, through and through. - Dana? - The surgeons are working on her. Listen to me, did Dawkins say where he was going after the bank? I saw a passport and now that he has his money, he's gonna disappear. Ha-ha-ha. Whoo! Damn it. Dawkins was on his way to the airport, saw our check point and made a U-turn. He's in the H-3 tunnel, headed into Halawa Valley. Uh-oh. Uh-oh, what? We're about to lose traffic cam coverage in about two seconds. He's gone. I'm sorry, there's no other cameras on that road. All right. Wait a second. Why, hello there, sailor. Cath, I need your help. I'm pursuing a suspect in a black Mercedes, he's headed west to the Halawa Valley. - Can you give me a visual? - You want me to access an IKON reconnaissance satellite for your car chase? This guy has killed three people already today. Yeah, look. This could raise some flags. Classify it as an NSA request from a black ops drop box, okay? Come on, Cath. I need this. You're like the good-looking guy from high school who knows how cute he is and just won't take no for an answer. I've got your black Mercedes, I'm sending you the grid coordinates and imagery now. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Next leave, beers are on me, okay? Oh, you are not getting off that easy. You got her to use a military recon satellite and then you made a date? I'm a multi-tasker. Impressive. There, address that. He just pulled in to Makani Kai Aviation. It's a helicopter tour operator. - Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Fly. Please, I'm begging you. We didn't do any... - Will you shut up? - Hey, where do you wanna go? There's an airport on the north side of Molokai. Get me there and I'll let them go. - Danny. Dawkins has hostages. No, no. According to Makani Kai Aviation, their bird took off with a pilot and a family of three coming back from a tour. - Chin, where's your friend? - On his way as we speak. Danny, contact Honolulu approach. Get me the direction that island bird is headed, okay? - You got it. - Good. - Hey, it's all good, bro, mahalo. - No problem. - Remember, bust them, you buy them. - Yeah, yeah. Hey, you know what you're doing? - We're running out of fuel. - You're lying. The aircraft was topped off to tour Honolulu, not island hop. Take a look, you see that? That's ten minutes max. - It's 15 to Molokai. - Look, just find a way, all right? Spoke to Honolulu approach, your bird is 6 miles east-southeast heading towards Molokai. Okay, copy that. Chin, over there. They should be in that direction. Got them. About three miles east. Don't lose them. I'm coming around. - What's going on? - What do you think is going on? All right, here we go. Everyone, hang on. This is gonna get ugly. - They just went down. - Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Got a single gunshot wound. He's dead. Family's gone. He took them hostage. Look, just let my wife and my son go, I'll do... None of you are going anywhere till I get off this island, all right? Go. Move. Come on. They went this way. You sure? Birds fly away from danger, predators. Dawkins is making a fast pace. He's snapping branches, he's kicking rocks. The Apapanes didn't like it, one of them sounded the alarm call, off they went. Down here. Come on. Please, can we stop and have some water real quick? All right. One sip and then we go. Come on, come on, come on. They stopped here. No, don't do that. Molokai's rainforest's got pathogenic microbes in the water that'll put a man down in an hour. Judging from those tracks you found, looks like they drank from it. They won't get much further. Come on, Tarzan, now we got an advantage. Who told you to stop? - Please, something's wrong. Come on, move. - We don't feel... - Move. Move. I can't get a clear shot. Dawkins. Come on. Come on. Move. Go, move. Chin, go, go, go. I got you covered. Stay down. You're gonna be fine. Hey. Craig? I wanna see him. Please? Dana. Why didn't you just tell me the truth? I was afraid you'd leave me if I did. You were wrong. I know what you're thinking. How could I not be angry? But the man I fell in love with was Craig Ellers, not Paul Stark. Everybody deserves a little forgiveness. Hey, where's Mary? - I got good news and bad news. - Oh, no, no. The good news, I got back with my girlfriend. - That's good. - Bad news is you lost Mary. Sorry, she confused me with a Jedi mind trick. - You want me to put out an APB? - No. I think I know where she is. What's that? Lunch. Open it or he dies! Open it. Open it! Get out here. Get out here! Tell him to come out here. - Tell him! - Do what he says, Dennis. Thanks. Please don't do this. I got three kids. Shut up! I know he tripped the silent alarm. I know there's a dozen cops out there just waiting to kill me. Then how the hell do you think you're gonna get out of here? Out the front door. OFFICER Dawkins, you are surrounded. Drop your weapon or we will fire. Drop your weapon! Drop your weapon now! Fire! What the hell is this? His mouth is glued shut! This isn't Dawkins! ♪ Hawaii Five-O 1x04 ♪ Lanakila Original Air Date on October 11, 2010 == sync, corrected by elderman == Flight 116 arriving from Los Angeles. Please proceed to baggage carousel number two. Commander McGarrett? This is about my sister, isn't it? She disabled a smoke detector on board in the bathroom, which is a federal offense. So we arrested her as soon as she landed. Great. Jail? Are you serious? It was just a cigarette! Okay, Officer, I think we... we're good now. Steve McGarrett, from the governor's task force. You can release her into my custody. Let me check with my supervisor. Thank you. I'm sorry. I messed up. I missed you at Dad's funeral, Mare. Yeah, well, something came up. You know the last time I saw you was at Mom's funeral? I guess that's the way we do our family reunions. 'Cause I was thinking it could've been cool to have a picnic in between, or something, you know? - A picnic? - Yeah. A picnic. Something that, I don't know, normal families do? How did you say you were injured, again? Well, originally, uh... playing high school baseball, but, uh, it hasn't bothered me in a really long time. Anything traumatic recently, with the knee? Yeah, actually. I got a new partner. I was thinking more about a physical injury. No, no, this-this guy is like a physical injury, Doc. Ten minutes after meeting him, I get shot and blasted backwards through a window, okay? A few hours after that, he drives a car-- not joking-- onto the deck of a Chinese freighter ship. And, yes, I was in it. The car, not the ship. He drove a car onto a boat? Yeah. He's an animal. And I sorta get the feeling that he's just getting warmed up. Ouch. Yeah. So, how do I fix it? You get a new partner. Yeah, I'd like that, but I don't think that's gonna happen. Well... I'm seeing a slight tear on the ACL. So, you're going to have to stay off that knee for a couple of weeks, physical therapy, and I'll put you on some anti-inflammatories. Can I get those, uh, to go? Please? I'll be back. Hey, stay. I'm not a dog. Stay. What happened to you? Oh. Uh, I blame you. I tore my ACL somewhere in the last few weeks, all the fun we've been having together. All right. Well, once you're done bitching about your boo-boo, I'd love to know what's going on here. We got an escaped prisoner, three dead guards. Department of Public Safety's trying to figure out what the hell happened, Where's Chin and Kono? Inside, getting background. Is that your sister in the car? Yeah, I just came straight from the airport. You realize if she were a dog, you could get a ticket for leaving her in the car like that? Can we focus, please? Yeah. Why do you have aneurism-face? I don't have aneurism-face. She gave you aneurism-face? How many times in a row can you ask me the same question? "You gotta seek first to understand, then to be understood." It's one of seven principles of all successful people. I will literally pay you cash to stop talking, okay? Excuse me, Officer? My blue pickup is just around the corner. There's a woman sitting it in. It's my sister; I'm putting her in your custody, okay? Get her some food, take her back to my office, don't take your eyes off her until I get there, you got it? - Yes, sir. - Thank you. You happy? Hey. Fugitive's name is Walton Dawkins. He's originally from the mainland, but he did ten years at the Allen Correctional Facility in Cleveland for multiple home invasions. Apparently our guy likes hitting families with big money. Then he violated his parole by coming to Hawaii six years ago. My guess is it wasn't for the surf. Dawkins killed a young couple during one of his burglaries. But get this: according to the warden, he's been a model prisoner up until now. So what changed? Hey, guards! We need help in here! All right, so right before the inmate collapsed, he was complaining of shortness of breath, pain in his arm. Textbook signs of cardiac arrest. He's a little young to be dropping dead of a heart attack, don't you think? Yeah. Not if he was poisoned. We found this stuff in Dawkins' cell. Nutmeg. Oh, yeah, they got the prison bake sale coming up. Hang on a second. You can extract myristicin from nutmeg. It's an organic compound, has psychoactive properties, it works like a drug, and in large enough doses, it's lethal and fast-acting. So Dawkins poisons an inmate as a distraction, shoots a few guards, then walks out the door wearing one of their uniforms. Yeah, in broad daylight? I mean, it feels like a lot of unnecessary exposure for someone trying to sneak out the door. Price of freedom? Or maybe he didn't think he had time to dig a tunnel. What else we got? One of the maintenance guys reported his car stolen from the parking lot. We got HPD a description. Well, let's assume Dawkins knows that, too, so he's going to abandon that car. We'll find it. Maybe it'll tell us where he's going. Hey, watch this. Keep your eyes on the guard. Look at his holster. Safety strap's unfastened. Wait a minute. What the hell's he doing with a gun, anyway? Weapons are for towers, gates, and transports only. Maybe it was a rookie mistake. No, not a rookie mistake. He's in on it, he wanted Dawkins to have that gun. So what's in it for the guard? Whatever it is, it was worth putting an armed and dangerous fugitive back on the streets. Hey! Billy Omana, right? Yeah. Yeah, put those on. Excuse me? Uh, he said put them on. Who the hell you guys think you are? What did Dawkins offer you to help him escape from prison today? I don't know what you're talking about. Billy, so help me God, you answer incorrectly one more time, I'm gonna put those scrubs on you myself and then drop you in general population. How long you think you'll last there? You can't do that. This here says I can. Dawkins said that if I helped him, he'd give me 50 grand. And you believed him? He arranged for $10,000 to be wired into my account. He told me it was everything he had. I'd get the rest as soon as he got out. Where'd he say the rest of the money was coming from? I don't know. All he told me was that there was a lot of it waiting for him on the outside, but in order to get it, he needed to get out today. I'm Detective Williams; this is Commander McGarrett. We hear you and Walton Dawkins were neighbors. Yeah, four and a half years. Warden says you guys used to be pretty tight. Well, in the non-Biblical sense, if you dig what I'm saying. So what happened? Why the beef? I didn't appreciate him trying to gut me with a shiv last week. He said I was asking too many questions. Questions have anything to do with why he bounced today? You know, it's possible I may have some pertinent information, but, uh, you gonna have to play me for it. Play you? That's right. You win-- I tell you everything I know. What's to stop me taking that basketball and beating it out of you? Bring it. They got better food at the hospital anyway. What the hell you got to threaten me with, man? - More lockup time? - Okay. We might be able to help you. Shave some time off your sentence? I'm doing double life, gimp. Excuse me? You got a busted ear, too, man? I'm on permanent vacation, no parole. You could shave 10 years off my time, but I ain't never getting out. So it's either B-ball with tall, dark and uptight here, or nothing. I got all the time in the world. What do you get if we lose? I get the pleasure of beating a cop's ass in front of the whole yard. Oh, yeah, play basketball. It's not like we got a killer to catch, or anything. The clock's ticking. He's our best lead. All right, game's to 21. Ten. Man's in a hurry. Okay, since you're a guest in my house, you take it in. I got a tip. So you know, the other guy putting the ball in the hoop is-is bad. Danno, shut up, all right? Please, do me a favor and don't call me Danno, huh? Yo, how long you two been married? Come on. Play ball. Okay, all right, time-out. Time-out. My time. You, uh, never played basketball, have you? No, I've played once or twice. Yeah? Yeah, I mean, I can see that. It looked like I was watching Lebron, and maybe he's just this much better. You know what? Football was my sport, okay? Yeah? Now you tell me that? Hey, you ready to quit? - No. - Yes. - Which one is it? Can you just give me a second, please? Can I have some space? All right, listen to me. You're not gonna outshoot him, so out-D him, all right? Play it like it's football. Put a body on him, steal the ball away from him and put it in the hoop, huh? What's he gonna do, call a foul? We're in jail. All right, I can do that. That's game. Let's have it, man. All right, badge, here it is. A couple weeks ago we're in rec watching some tube. Samoan dude walks by, he tries to change the channel. Dawkins almost throws down right there. You should have seen him. His eyes were-were crazy. Just 'cause he changed the channel? No, no, bro, wasn't that. It was something on TV that made him go crazy. What was he watching? Dana, your luxury vacation includes first-class airfare, seven nights at the Kohiko Hotel all-access VIP passes to the annual Festival of The Islands, which kicks off two weeks from now. And since you'll need a little spending money while shopping on beautiful Kalakaua Avenue, we're throwing in $1 million! She's the reason that Dawkins broke out of prison? She just won a million dollars and a trip to Hawaii. Okay, but why her? Like, there's not enough rich people on this island? She's away from home, she's out of her element. Maybe Dawkins sees her as an easy target. Whatever. I need everything on Dana. Okay? Travel itineraries, flights, car rental. Hey, guess what? I've done this before, but thank you. That's it. It matches the description of the car Dawkins stole. Five-O. We'll take it from here. - What are you doing? - Looking for cash. It's what Dawkins would have done. Empty. Says maybe he used whatever he found to buy something. Food or water? No, Dawkins knows his face is all over the news by now. If he wants to get off the island, the first thing he needs to do is change his appearance. Coming in? It's the men's room. It's the luxury of carrying a badge, kid-- you can go anywhere. Lemonade mixed in mayo. It's an old prison trick for dyeing hair. Seriously? Looks like our man's a blonde now. Purchases were made at an ABC Store just up the street. 15 minutes ago. Factor in the time for a dye job, he couldn't have made it very far. He could still be around here. You see that? Excuse me, sir. Every time I come across... He wouldn't be there if it weren't for me. The Frabjous Day is almost upon us. You must prepare to meet the Jabberwocky. From the moment I fell down that rabbit hole, I've been told what I must do and who I must be. I've been shrunk, stretched, scratched and stuffed into a teapot. I've been accused of being Alice and of not being Alice, but this is my dream. I'll decide where it goes from here. If you diverge from the path... I make the path. Take me to Salazen Grum, Bayard, and don't forget the hat. There's only one way across. Lost my muchness, have I? Bayard! The hat! Your Majesty. (FLAMINGO SQUAWKING) (SQUEAKING) So sorry. Splendid shot! Where's my ball? Page! Yes, Your Majesty. (SQUEAKING) (SHUSHING) I want to help you. (RUSTLING) Well, if it isn't the wrong Alice. What brings you here? Mmm? I've come to rescue the Hatter. You're not rescuing anyone being the size of a gerbil. Well, do you have any more of that cake that made me grow before? Upelkuchen? Actually, I might have some left. Not all of it! Oh, no! Stop! No, no, no, don't. Don't do that! Page! Oh, dear. And what is this? It... It's a "who," Majesty. This is, um... Um? From Umbradge. What happened to your clothes? I outgrew them. I've been growing an awful lot lately. I tower over everyone in Umbradge. They laugh at me. So I've come to you, hoping you might understand what it's like. My dear girl, anyone with a head that large is welcome in my court. Someone find her some clothes! Use the curtains if you must, but clothe this enormous girl. I need a pig here! (GRUNTING) (RED QUEEN SIGHING) I love a warm pig belly for my aching feet. -Would you like one, Um? -No, thank you. Sit! (CHITTERING) Sit! Go away. Where are my fat boys? You must meet them. Fat boys! Oh. There they are. Aren't they adorable? They have the oddest way of speaking. Speak, boys. Amuse us. Go on. (MOUTHING) No. Speak! -Is that being... -No, no, it isn't. Not a bit. No. Contrariwise, I believe it's so. No, it ain't so, nohow! (GIGGLING) I love my fat boys. Now, get out. -He did pinch me. -He did pinch me. (GASPING) And who is this lovely creature? Um, my new favorite. -Well, does she have a name? -Um. I believe your name has slipped the Queen's mind. Her name is Um, idiot! From Umbradge. Any luck with the prisoner? He's stubborn. You're too soft. Bring him! (DOOR CREAKING) (PIG SQUEALING) (SHACKLES CLATTERING) We know Alice has returned to Underland. Do you know where she is? I've been considering things that begin with the letter "M." Moron, mutiny, murder, malice. We're looking for an "A" word now. Where is Alice? Who, that wee little boy? (LAUGHS) I wouldn't know. What if I take off your head? Will you know then? (LAUGHING MANICALLY) Stop that. What a regrettably large head you have. I should very much like to hat it. -Hat it? -Yes. I used to hat the White Queen, you know. Wasn't very much to work with, poor dear. Her head is so small. It's tiny. It's a pimple of a head. But this... What I could do with this monument, this orb... Nay, this magnificently heroic globe. What could you do? Unbind him, Stayne. How can he work if his hands are bound? Well, then, shall it be a bonnet or a boater? Or something for the boudoir? Cloche, dunce hat, death cap, coif, snood, barboosh, pugree, yarmulke, cockle hat, porkpie, tam o'shanter, billycock, bicorne, tricorne, bandeau, bongrace, fan-tail, night cap, Garibaldi, fez... Hatter. Fez? Leave us. The trees seem sad. -Have you been speaking with them? -Yes, Your Majesty. Perhaps a bit more kindly. Would you all excuse me for a moment? Thank you. -What news, Bayard? -Alice has returned to Underland. -Where is she now? -In Salazen Grum. Forgive me. I allowed her to divert from her destined path. No, no, no, no. But that is exactly where she will find the Vorpal sword. We have our champion. Rest now. You've done well. (SQUEAKING) ALICE: Have you seen a hat around here? You must find Alice, Stayne. Without the Jabberwocky, my sister's followers will surely rise against me. Ugly little sister. Why do they adore her and not me? STAYNE: I cannot fathom it. You are far superior in all ways. RED QUEEN: I know. But Mirana can make anyone fall in love with her. Men, women, (ANIMALS GRUNTING) even the furniture. Even the King? I had to do it. He would have left me. Majesty, is it not better to be feared than loved? Not certain anymore. Oh, let her have the rabble. I don't need them. I have you. They're wonderful. You must let me try one on. It is good to be working at my trade again. It's just a pity you have to make them for her. What is the hatter with me? Hatter? (CHAINS RATTLING) (THUNDER CRASHING) Hatter. Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk? I'm frightened, Alice. I don't like it in here. It's terribly crowded. Have I gone mad? I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are. Here. That's better. You look yourself again. RED QUEEN: Hat man! Where are my hats? I'm not a patient monarch! I'm told she keeps the Vorpal sword hidden in the castle. The rabbit will help you. Find it, Alice. Take it to the White Queen. We'll go to the White Queen together. Why is it you're always too small or too tall? -Tweedles. -Alice. -How do you do, again? -Where's the rabbit? How is it you're being so great big? She ain't great big, this is how she normal is. I'm certain she's smaller when we met. No, she drank the pishsalver to get through the door, recall it? Oh, yeah. -Where's the rabbit? -BOTH: Over theres. -MALLY: What are you doing here? -I'm rescuing the Hatter. I'm rescuing the Hatter. He told me that the Vorpal sword is hidden in the castle. Help me find it. I don't take orders from big, clumsy, galumphing... Shoo! -What is it, McTwisp? -I know where the sword is. (THUNDER RUMBLING) The sword's hidden inside. Be careful, Alice. I know that smell. (SNORING) I'm not going in there. Look what that thing did to my arm. Dear, oh, dear. Why haven't you mentioned this? It wasn't this bad before. (HYPERVENTILATING) Hatter? Where are you? Hatter? Mallymkun. Do you still have the Bandersnatch eye? Right here. -I need it. -Come and get it. Hey! Give it back! I like you, Um. I like largeness. Get away from me. (BANDERSNATCH SNORING) (CREAKING) I have your eye. (GROWLING) (LOCK RATTLING) (SNARLS) (GROANS) No. Hmm. MAN: You look stunning in that hat. Yes. Next. Your Majesty has never looked better. Hmm. Another. Oh! I don't wish to alarm you, but it smells as though you might have dropped something. (LAUGHING) Never mind him, he's mad. Come along. (WHISPERING) Stayne! (BANDERSNATCH BREATHING HEAVILY) (GROWLING) I suppose this makes us even now. Um forced herself on me. I told her my heart belongs to you, but she's obsessed with me. Off with her head! Stand back, Mallymkun. How's this for muchness? No, no! It mustn't be used for anything... Arrest that girl for unlawful seduction! Hatter! -Take it to the White Queen. -I'm not leaving without you. Go! Run, Alice! Alice? Run! Seize her. Alice. Of course. Why didn't I see it? Well, it has been a long time, and you were such a little tyke then. -Give me the sword. -Stay back. The Queen will be so pleased. She will take great pleasure in taking off your head. (BANDERSNATCH ROARING) -Oh, Alice! -Bayard! To Marmoreal. (BARKING) (ROARING) Majesty, Alice has escaped on the Bandersnatch, with the Vorpal sword. How could you let this happen? I may have underestimated her, but we have her conspirators, the Hatter and a dormouse. Off with their heads! WHITE QUEEN: Welcome to Marmoreal. I believe this belongs to you. Mmm. The Vorpal sword is home again. The armor is complete. Now all we need is a champion. You're a little taller than I thought you'd be. Blame it on too much upelkuchen. Oh. Come with me. ls the March Hare here? (EX CLAIMING) You're late for your soup, you wee besom. -You're late for your soup. -Could use some salt. Come here, you! Give me that here. Choppy, chop, chop, chop. Leek and potato. Yes. That would be... (SIGHING) Pishsalver. Let me think. A pinch of worm fat, urine of the horsefly, buttered fingers. My sister preferred to study Dominion Over Living Things. (SIZZLING) Tell me, how does she seem to you? Perfectly horrid. -And her head? -Bulbous. I think she may have some kind of growth in there, something pressing on her brain. Three coins from a dead man's pocket, two teaspoons of wishful thinking. You can't imagine the things that go on in that place. Oh, yes, I can. But when a champion steps forth to slay the Jabberwocky, the people will rise against her. (SPITTING) That should do it. Blow. -Feel better? -Much, thank you. There's someone here who would like to speak with you. -Absolem? -Who are you? (COUGHING) I thought we'd settled this. I'm Alice, but not that one. -How do you know? -You said so yourself. I said you were not hardly Alice, but you're much more her now. In fact, you're almost Alice. Even so, I couldn't slay the Jabberwocky if my life depended on it. It will. So I suggest you keep the Vorpal sword on hand when the Frabjous Day arrives. You seem so real. Sometimes I forget that this is all a dream. (COUGHING) Will you stop doing that? (LAUGHING) (WHOOSHING) I've always admired that hat. Hello, Chess. Since you won't be needing it anymore, would you consider bequeathing it to me? How dare you? It is a formal execution. I would like to look my best, you know. It is a pity about all this. I was looking forward to seeing you Futterwacken. I was rather good at it, was I not? I really do love that hat. I would wear it to all the finest occasions. I love a morning execution, don't you? -Yes, Your Majesty. -Yes, Your Majesty. -I'd like to keep it on. -Suit yourself. As long as I can get at your neck. I'm right behind you. Off with his head! I can't watch. (EXECUTIONER SHOUTING) Good morning, everyone. Chess, you dog. -(GASPS) -Madam, you are being heinously bamboozled by these lickspittle toadies you surround yourselves with. (LAUGHING) What is that? I'm not the only one, Majesty. Look! A counterfeit nose. You should be ashamed. Me? What about that big belly you're so proud of? (GASPS) (GASPS) Liars! Cheats! Falsifiers! Off with their heads! The abused and enslaved in the Red Queen's court, all of you stand up and fight! Rise up against the bloody Red Queen. -Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid! -ALL: Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid! (ALL CHEERING) Release the Jubjub Bird! (ALL GASPING) (SCREECHING) (PEOPLE SCREAMING) You're right, Stayne, it is far better to be feared than loved. Come, boys. Quickly! Come on! Hatter! Come on, Mally, quickly. Come on. Come on. Prepare the Jabberwocky for battle. We're going to visit my little sister. I had hoped to have a champion by now. Why don't you slay the Jabberwocky yourself? You must have the power. It is against my vows to harm any living creature. (SPUTTERING) We have company. Have a look, Bayard. BAYARD: Bielle. (BARKING) I'm so happy to see you. I thought they were going to... So did I. But they didn't, and now here I am, still in one piece. And I'm rather glad about that now that I'm seeing you again. I would have regretted not seeing you again, especially now that you're you, and the proper size. And it's a good size. It's a great size. It's a right proper Alice size! -Hatter. -Size. Fez. I'm fine. Where's your hat? Mmm. -Cheshire. -How's the arm, love? All healed. Goodbye, sweet hat. Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk? Let me think about it. You know what tomorrow is, don't you? Frabjous Day. How could I forget? Wish I'd wake up. -Still believe this is a dream, do you? -Of course. This has all come from my own mind. Which would mean that I'm not real. Afraid so. You're just a figment of my imagination. I would dream up someone who's half-mad. Yes, yes. But you would have to be half-mad to dream me up. (LAUGHS) I must be, then. I'll miss you when I wake up. (PLAYING TRUMPET) Who will step forth to be champion for the White Queen? That would be I. You have very poor evaporating skills. I should be the one. I'll do it. -No, me. -No, me. No other slayer, nohow. If it ain't Alice, it ain't dead. Alice, you cannot live your life to please others. The choice must be yours, because when you step out to face that creature, you will step out alone. Nothing was ever accomplished with tears. Absolem? Why are you upside down? I've come to the end of this life. -You're going to die? -Transform. Don't go. I need your help. I don't know what to do. I can't help you if you don't even know who you are, stupid girl. I'm not stupid. My name is Alice. I live in London. I have a mother named Helen and a sister named Margaret. My father was Charles Kingsleigh. He had a vision that stretched halfway around the world, and nothing ever stopped him. I'm his daughter. I'm Alice Kingsleigh. Alice, at last. You were just as dim-witted the first time you were here. You called it "Wonderland," as I recall. Wonderland. (WATCH TICKING) -What do you call yourself? -Alice. The Alice? Then I'll take you to the Hare and the Hatter, but that's the end of it. McTWISP: She's the right one. I'm certain of it. Ah, Thackery, not at the table, please. Have some tea. You're not Absolem, I'm Absolem, stupid girl. (COUGHING) -What is this? -I'm Tweedledee, he's Tweedledum. Contrariwise, I'm Tweedledum, he's Tweedledee. DODO: You'd think she would remember all this from the first time. Curiouser and curiouser. It wasn't a dream at all, it was a memory. This place is real, and so are you and so is the Hatter. And the Jabberwocky. Remember, the Vorpal sword knows what it wants. All you have to do is hold on to it. Fairfarren, Alice. Perhaps I will see you in another life. (HEAVY FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) -Hello, Iracebeth. -Hello, Mirana. (PLAYING TRUMPET) On this, the Frabjous Day, the Queens Red and White shall send forth their champions to do battle on their behalf. Oh, Racie. We don't have to fight. I know what you're doing. You think you can blink those pretty little eyes and I'll melt, just like Mummy and Daddy did. Please. No! It is my crown! I am the eldest! Jabberwocky! (WHIMPERING) (GASPING) (ROARING) This is impossible. Only if you believe it is. Sometimes I believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast. That is an excellent practice. However, just at the moment, you really might want to focus on the Jabberwocky. Where's your champion, Sister? Here. Hello, Um. Six impossible things. Count them, Alice. One, there's a potion that can make you shrink. (ROARS) Two, and a cake that can make you grow. So, my old foe, we meet on the battlefield once again. We've never met. Not you, insignificant bearer. My ancient enemy, the Vorpal one. That's enough chatter. (JABBERWOCKY SHRIEKING) Three, animals can talk. Four, Alice, cats can disappear. Five, there's a place called Wonderland. Six, I can slay the Jabberwocky. (ROARS) The Hatter's interfering! Off with his head! (SCREECHING) (BANDERSNATCH ROARING) (JABBERWOCKY SCREECHING) Off with your head! Kill her! We follow you no more, Bloody Big Head. How dare you? Off with his head! Iracebeth of Crims, your crimes against Underland are worthy of death. However, that is against my vows, therefore, you are banished to the Outlands. No one is to show you any kindness, or ever speak a word to you. You will not have a friend in the world. Majesty, I hope you bear me no ill will. Only this one, Ilosovic Stayne, you are to join Iracebeth in banishment from this day until the end of Underland. At least we have each other. (GASPS) (EX CLAIMING) Majesty, please! Kill me! Please! But I do not owe you a kindness. -STAYNE: Take off my head! -He tried to kill me. -Majesty! Please! Please! -He tried to kill me. -I offer you my head! -He tried to kill me! Oh, the Frabjous Day! Callou! Callay! (FUTTERWACKEN MUSIC PLAYING) -What is he doing? -Futterwacken. (LAUGHING) (LAUGHS) (CLEARS THROAT) Blood of the Jabberwocky. You have our everlasting gratitude. And for your efforts on our behalf... -Will this take me home? -If that is what you choose. You could stay. What an idea. A crazy, mad, wonderful idea. But I can't. There are questions I have to answer, things I have to do. Be back again before you know it. You won't remember me. Of course I will. How could I forget? Hatter, why is a raven like a writing desk? I haven't the slightest idea. Fairfarren, Alice. (PEOPLE CHATTERING) She left me standing there without an answer. A case of nerves, no doubt. -Alice. -LORD ASCOT: Good Lord. -Are you all right? -What happened to you? I fell down a hole and hit my head. I'm sorry, Hamish. I can't marry you. You're not the right man for me. And there's that trouble with your digestion. I love you, Margaret, but this is my life. I'll decide what to do with it. You're lucky to have my sister for your wife, Lowell, and you be good to her. I'll be watching very closely. There is no prince, Aunt Imogene. You need to talk to someone about these delusions. I happen to love rabbits, especially white ones. Don't worry, Mother, I'll find something useful to do with my life. You two remind me of some funny boys I met in a dream. -You've left me out. -No, I haven't, sir. You and I have business to discuss. Shall we speak in the study? Oh. And one more thing. (ALL GASPING) My father told me he planned to expand his trade route to Sumatra and Borneo, but I don't think he was looking far enough. Why not go all the way to China? It's vast, the culture is rich, and we have a foothold in Hong Kong. To be the first to trade with China, can you imagine it? You know, if anybody else had said that to me, I'd say, "You've lost your senses." But I've seen that look before. Well, as you're not going to be my daughter-in-law, perhaps you'd consider becoming an apprentice with the company. Hello, Absolem. ( ALICE PLAYING) Tripping out, spinning around I'm underground I fell down Yeah, I fell down I'm freaking out Where am I now? Upside down and I can't stop it now Can't stop me now I, I'll get by I, I'll survive When the world's crashing down When I fall and hit the ground I will turn myself around Don't you try to stop me I, I won't cry I found myself in Wonderland Get back on my feet, the ground Is this real? Is it pretend? I'll take a stand until the end I, I'll get by I, I'll survive When the world's crashing down When I fall and hit the ground I will turn myself around Don't you try to stop me I, I won't cry ( ALICE'S THEME PLAYING) Oh, Alice, dear, where have you been? So near, so far, so in between What have you heard? What have you seen? Alice, Alice, please, Alice Oh, tell us, are you big or small? To try this one or try them all It's such a long, long way to fall Alice, Alice, oh, Alice How can you know this way, not that? You choose the door You choose the path Perhaps you should be coming back Another day, another day And nothing is quite what it seems You're dreaming Are you dreaming? Oh, Alice Oh, Alice Oh! Oh, how will you find your way? Oh, how will you find your way? No time for tears today No time for tears today No time for tears today No time for tears today So many doors, how did you choose? So much to gain, so much to lose So many things got in your way No time today, no time today Be careful not to lose your head Remember what the dormouse said Alice! Did someone pull you by the hand? How many miles to Wonderland? Please tell us so we'll understand Alice, Alice, oh, Alice Oh, how will you find your way? Oh, how will you find your way? OCR by btb you haveNfinally lost your senses. This venture is impossible. the only wayNto achieve the impossible is to believe it is possible. That kind of thinking could ruin you. I'm willing to take that chance. Jakarta... The nightmare again? I won't be long. then I see strange creatures. What kind of creatures? a smiling cat. I didn't know cats could smile. (sighing ) Neither did I. And there's a blue caterpillar. Blue caterpillar. Hmm. Do you think I've gone round the bend? off your head. But I'll tell you a secret.NAll the best people are. (laughing ) Alice.NNothing can harm you there. Nyou can always wake up. Like this. (laughing ) Ow! (sighing ) Must we go? Doubt they'll notice if we never arrive. They will notice. Where's your corset? And no stockings. I'm against them. But you're not properly dressed. Who's to say what is proper? What if it was agreed that "proper"Nwas wearing a codfish on your head? -Would you wear it? N-Alice. a corset is like a codfish. not today. Father would have laughed. I'm sorry. I'm tired.Nl didn't sleep well last night. Did you have bad dreams again? Only one. Never since I can remember. Do you think that's normal? Don't most peopleNhave different dreams? I don't know. There. You're beautiful. can you manage a smile? (classical music playing ) At last. We thought you'd never arrive. Hamish is waitingNto dance with you. Go. You do realize it's well past 4:00. Now everything will haveNto be rushed through. never mind! Forgive my wife. She's been planningNthis affair for over 20 years. If only Charles were here... My condolences. I think of your husband often.NHe was truly a man of vision. I hope you don't think I've takenNadvantage of your misfortunes. Of course not. I'm pleasedNthat you purchased the company. I was a fool for not investing inNhis mad venture when I had the chance. too. (classical MUSlCNCONTlNUES playing ) do you ever tire of quadrille? On the contrary. I find it invigorating. (LAUGHS ) Do I amuse you? No. I had a sudden visionNof all the ladies in trousers and the men wearing dresses. I think you'll do bestNto keep your visions to yourself. remain silent. (GEESE honking ) (GASPS ) sir.NMiss Kingsleigh is distracted today. Where's your head? I was wonderingNwhat it would be like to fly. Why would you spend your time thinking aboutNsuch an impossible thing? Why wouldn't I? My father said he sometimes believedNin six impossible things before breakfast. (SOFTLY) Come along. meet me under the gazeboNin precisely 1 0 minutes. (faith EXHALlNG EX ClTEDLY) We have a secret to tell you. Nthen it's not much of a secret. -Perhaps we shouldn't.N-We decided we should. she won't be surprised. -Will you be surprised? N-Not if you tell me. Nyou have to. we won't. I wonder if your mother knows that you two swim nakedNin the Havershims' pond. but I would. There's your mother right now. Hamish is going to ask for your hand. You've ruined the surprise! I could strangle them! Everyone went to so much effortNto keep the secret. Does everyone know? It's why they've all come.NThis is your engagement party. Hamish will ask you under the gazebo.NWhen you say yes... But I don't knowNif I want to marry Hamish. then? NYou won't do better than a lord. Alice.NThat pretty face won't last forever. You don't want to end upNlike Aunt lmogene. do you? No. So you'll marry Hamish. and your life will be perfect. It's already decided. dear. I'll leave you to it. just you and me? Do you know what I've always dreaded? The decline of the aristocracy? Ugly grandchildren. But you're lovely. You're bound to produceNlittle... Imbeciles! The gardeners haveNplanted white roses when I specifically asked for red. You could always paint the roses red. What an odd thing to say. You should know that my sonNhas extremely delicate digestion. (RUSTLlNG ) -Did you see that? N-See what? I think.N-Nasty things. I do enjoy setting the dogs on them. Nhe could get a blockage. (RUSTLlNG ) Did you see it that time? -See what? N-The rabbit. Don't shout. pay attention.NHamish said you were easily distracted. -What was I saying? N-Hamish has a blockage. Nbut you'll have to excuse me. Aunt lmogene. I think I'm going mad.Nl keep seeing a rabbit in a waistcoat. I can't be botheredNwith your fancy rabbit now. I'm waiting for my fiancé. -You have a fiancé? N-Hmm. (RUSTLlNG ) There! Did you see it? He's a prince. he cannot marry meNunless he renounces his throne. isn't it? Very. Lowell? Alice. We were just... Hattie's an old friend. I can see you're very close. will you? I don't know. I'm confused.Nl need time to think. think about Margaret.NShe'd never trust me again. Ndo you? Me? But I'm not the one who'sNsneaking around behind her back. There you are. Alice Kingsleigh... Hamish. What is it? You have a caterpillarNon your shoulder. Ew. Don't hurt it. You'll want to wash that finger. will you be my wife? and you're a lord. Nand I don't want to end up like... But this is happening so quickly. I... I think I... (WATCH ticking ) I think I... I need a moment. (WATCH ticking ) Hello. (alice screaming ) (continues screaming ) (EX claims ) (screaming ) (RATTLlNG ) (GROANS ) (RATTLlNG ) (sniffing ) lt's only a dream. (coughing ) DODO: You'd think she wouldNremember all this from the first time. MALLY: You've brought the wrong Alice. she's the right one.Nl'm certain of it. (CLOTH tearing ) (breathing heavily) MALLY: She's the wrong Alice. McTWlSP: Give her a chance. (coughing ) (pig grunting ) (NElGHlNG ) (SNARLlNG ) Curiouser and curiouser. I told you she's the right Alice. I am not convinced. McTWlSP: How is that for gratitude? and I was almost eatenNby other animals. Can you imagine? Nand they do their shukm in public. -l had to avert my eyes.N-Doesn't look anything like herself. That's because she's the wrong Alice. she ain't. nohow. How can I be the wrong AliceNwhen this is my dream? if I might ask? he's Tweedledum. Nhe's Tweedledee. We should consult Absolem. Exactly. Absolem will know who she is. it's not being your turn. So unfair. leave off! N-Let go! -Are they always this way? N-Family trait. You can both escort her. (WHlNNYlNG ) -Who is this Absolem? N-He's wise. He's absolute. He's Absolem. Who are you? Absolem? who are you? (coughing ) Alice. We shall see. What do you mean by that? Nl ought to know who I am. stupid girl.NUnroll the Oraculum. being a calendricalNcompendium of Underland. -lt's a calendar.N-ABSOLEM: Compendium. It tells of each and every dayNsince the Beginning. Today is Griblig DayNin the time of the Red Queen. Show her the Frabjous Day. Frabjous being the dayNyou slay the Jabberwocky. Sorry? Slay a what? Nwith the Vorpal sword. nohow. it ain't dead. That's not me! I know! Absolem.Nls she the right Alice? Not hardly. dear. -l said so.N-l said so. Nyou said she might be. you said she would be if she was. (SCOFFlNG ) Little impostor. PretendingNto be Alice. She should be ashamed. I was so certain of you. I'm sorry.Nl don't mean to be the wrong Alice. this is my dream. I'm going to wake up nowNand you'll all disappear. That's odd.NPinching usually does the trick. if that would help. actually. Thank you.N-My pleasure. Ow! (GROWLlNG ) -Bandersnatch! N-Bandersnatch! (roaring ) (SQUAWKlNG ) (panting ) (SQUAWKS ) (SQUAWKS ) (ROARS ) Wait. (GROWLlNG ) lt's only a dream. Nothing can hurt me. What's she doing? Can't hurt me. Can't hurt me. (roaring ) you great lug! (roaring in pain) (NElGHlNG ) east to Queast. south to Snud. no. This way. (JUBJUB bird screeching ) (BOTH EX claiming ) (SCREECHlNG ) (BOTH screaming ) Someone has stolen three of my tarts! Your Majesty. Your Majesty. Your Majesty. (swallowing ) (whispering ) Did you steal my tarts? Your Majesty. (whispering ) Squimberry juice. -l was so hungry! I didn't mean to! N-Off with his head! please don't! No! I have little ones to look after! Go to his houseNand collect the little ones. I love tadpoles on toastNalmost as much as I love caviar. Your Majesty. Drink! Majesty? Nwhere have you been lurking? I have found the Oraculum. That? Looks so ordinary for an oracle. on the Frabjous Day. I'd know that tangled messNof hair anywhere. is it Alice? I believe it is. What's she doingNwith my darling Jabberwocky? She appears to be slaying it. She killed my Jabber-baby-wocky? but it will happenNif we don't stop her. Stayne. Find her! (YELPlNG ) Find the scent of human girlNand earn your freedom. as well? Everyone will go home. (sniffing ) (BARKS ) Dogs will believe anything. (chuckling ) It looks like you ran afoul of somethingNwith wicked claws. And I'm still dreaming. What did that to you? -Banner or Bander... N-The Bandersnatch? I'd better have a look. What are you doing? or it will fester and putrefy. I'd rather you didn't.Nl'll be fine as soon as I wake up. At least let me bind it for you. -What do you call yourself? N-Alice. The Alice? -There's been some debate about that.N-l never get involved in politics. You'd best be on your way. What way? All I want to do isNwake up from this dream. Fine. but that's the end of it. Coming? (MARCH HARE snoring ) (JAZZ music playing ) (EX claims ) (YAWNlNG ) (stammering ) Watch what you're doing! watch it! okay. All right. It's you. it's not.NMcTwisp brought us the wrong Alice. It's the wrong Alice! It's absolutely Alice. You're absolutely Alice.Nl'd know you anywhere. I'd know him anywhere. (BOTH giggling ) Nwe're still having tea. And it's all because I was obligedNto kill Time waiting for your return. you know. Naughty. Time becameNquite offended and stopped altogether. Not a tick ever since. (laughing ) -Cup.N-Time can be funny in dreams. and we need to get onNto the Frabjous Day. -Frabjous Day! N-Frabjous Day! I'm investigating thingsNthat begin with the letter "M." (whispering ) Have you any ideaNwhy a raven is like a writing desk? (ALL speaking outlandish) -Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid! N-Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid! the Bloody Big HeadNbeing the Red Queen. come. We simply mustNcommence with the slaying and such. it is high timeNto forgive and forget Nwhichever comes first most convenient.Nl'm waiting. (CHUCKLES ) Hey.Nlt's tick-tick... It's ticking again. All this talk of blood and slayingNhas put me off my tea. Ah. The entire world is falling to ruinNand poor Chessur's off his tea. What happened that dayNwas not my fault. (lNHALlNG SHARPLY) dear. you guddler's scuttish pilgar lickering shukm juggling sluking urpal. Bar lom muck egg brimni! Hatter! -Thank you.N-(EX claiming ) Meow. I'm fine. Tarrant? NYou used to be the life of the party. You used to do the best FutterwackenNin all of Witzend. -Futter what? N-Futterwacken! It's a dance. (laughing ) Nl shall Futterwacken vigorously. (ALL laughing ) (NElGHlNG ) no. Uh-oh. (gasping ) The Knave. Goodbye. MARCH HARE: Hide her! Drink this quickly. (alice coughing ) Quick! Hide her! dear. Aye. Mind your head. (NElGHlNG ) (BAYARD sniffing ) Let me out! if it's not my favoriteNtrio of lunatics. MALLY: Would you like to join us? (SNlCKERlNG ) You're all late for tea! (BOTH laughing ) We're looking for the girl called Alice. here is a littleNsong we used to sing in her honor. (ALL singing ) -Twinkle Twinkle little batN-Twinkle Twinkle little bat -How I wonder where you're atN-How I wonder where you're at -Up a... N-Up a... Nyou'll lose your heads. (HOARSELY) Already lost them. (BOTH laughing ) All together now! -Up above the world you flyN-Up above the world you fly -Like a tea tray in the skyN-Like a tea tray in the sky twinkle twinkle twinkle... Oh! (GROWLlNG ) Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid! Would you like some cream? (barking ) -Would you like a slice of Battenberg? N-Follow the bloodhound. please. that's lovely.N-You're all mad. Thanks very much. -(CUP smashing )N-(ALL laughing ) please. -MARCH HARE: That one there.N-Oh! Pardon. aye. One moment. (cutting CLOTH) There. Yes. Try this on for size. (alice knocking ON TEAPOT) Oh. I like it. or you'd be... What do they want with me? Nbest take her to the White Queen. She'll be safe there. Spoon... milady. -The hat? N-Of course. but the absolute best way to travelNis by hat. Have I made a rhyme? (MALLY AND MARCH HARENLAUGHlNG ) I love traveling by hat. all. What do you mean? Wait. Gae! (CUP shattering ) and the slithy tovesNDid gyre and gimble in the wabe "All mimsy were the borogovesNAnd the mome raths outgrabe" what was that? What was what? with eyes of flameNJaws that bite and claws that catch! my son! nand the frumious Bandersnatch! ' "He took his Vorpal sword in handNThe Vorpal blade went snicker-snack! and with its headNHe went galumphing back" you know. so put it out of your mind. Mind. Wait! You can't leave me here! You don't slay. Do you have any ideaNwhat the Red Queen has done? You don't slay. I couldn't if I wanted to. You're not the sameNas you were before. You were much more muchier.NYou've lost your muchness. My "muchness"? In there. Something's missing. Tell me what Red Queen has done. It's not a pretty story. Tell me anyway. It was here. I was hatter to the White QueenNat the time. Hightopp clan have alwaysNbeen employed at court. (medieval music playing ) (PEOPLE chattering ) (JABBERWOCKY roaring ) (PEOPLE screaming ) (NElGHlNG ) Hatter? Hatter! I'm fine. Are you? (BAYARD barking ) Did you hear that? Nl'm certain I heard something. What? (BAYARD barking ) Oh! Red Knights. (sniffing ) (barking ) Go south to Trotter's Bottom. The White Queen's castleNis just beyond. Hold on tightly. Down with the bloody Red Queen! (DOG sniffing ) (BAYARD growling ) You were supposed to lead them away! NThe Hatter trusted you! They have my wife and pups. -What's your name? N-Bayard. Sit! Nby any chance? but I'm not the oneNthat everyone's talking about. The Hatter would not haveNgiven himself up just for any Alice. Where did they take him? To the Red Queen's castleNat Salazen Grum. We're going to rescue him. That is not foretold. I don't care.NHe wouldn't be there if it weren't for me. The Frabjous Day is almost upon us. You must prepareNto meet the Jabberwocky. l've been told what I must doNand who I must be. scratchedNand stuffed into a teapot. but this is my dream. I'll decide where it goes from here. If you diverge from the path... I make the path. Nand don't forget the hat. There's only one way across. have I? Bayard! The hat! Your Majesty. (flamingo SQUAWKlNG ) (SQUEAKlNG ) So sorry. Splendid shot! Where's my ball? Page! Your Majesty. (SQUEAKlNG ) (SHUSHlNG ) I want to help you. (RUSTLlNG ) if it isn't the wrong Alice. What brings you here? Mmm? I've come to rescue the Hatter. You're not rescuing anyoneNbeing the size of a gerbil. do you have any moreNof that cake that made me grow before? I might have some left. Not all of it! don't.NDon't do that! Page! dear. And what is this? um... Um? From Umbradge. What happened to your clothes? I outgrew them.Nl've been growing an awful lot lately. I tower over everyone in Umbradge.NThey laugh at me. hoping you mightNunderstand what it's like. anyone with a head that largeNis welcome in my court. Someone find her some clothes! Nbut clothe this enormous girl. I need a pig here! (GRUNTlNG ) (RED QUEEN sighing ) I love a warm pig bellyNfor my aching feet. thank you. Sit! (CHlTTERlNG ) Sit! Go away. Where are my fat boys? NYou must meet them. Fat boys! Oh. There they are.NAren't they adorable? boys. Amuse us. Go on. (MOUTHlNG ) No. Speak! it isn't. Not a bit. No. I believe it's so. nohow! (giggling ) get out. -He did pinch me.N-He did pinch me. (gasping ) And who is this lovely creature? my new favorite. does she have a name? N-Um. I believe your nameNhas slipped the Queen's mind. idiot! From Umbradge. Any luck with the prisoner? He's stubborn. You're too soft. Bring him! (DOOR creaking ) (pig squealing ) (SHACKLES CLATTERlNG ) We know Alice has returnedNto Underland. Do you know where she is? I've been considering thingsNthat begin with the letter "M." malice. We're looking for an "A" word now.NWhere is Alice? that wee little boy? N(LAUGHS ) I wouldn't know. What if I take off your head? NWill you know then? (laughing manically) Stop that. What a regrettably large headNyou have. I should very much like to hat it. -Hat it? N-Yes. you know. Npoor dear. Her head is so small. It's tiny. lt's a pimple of a head. But this... this orb... this magnificently heroic globe. What could you do? Stayne. How can he workNif his hands are bound? Nshall it be a bonnet or a boater? Or something for the boudoir? fez... Hatter. Fez? Leave us. The trees seem sad. Your Majesty. Perhaps a bit more kindly. Would you all excuse meNfor a moment? Thank you. Bayard? N-Alice has returned to Underland. -Where is she now? N-ln Salazen Grum. Forgive me. I allowed herNto divert from her destined path. no. But that is exactlyNwhere she will find the Vorpal sword. We have our champion.NRest now. You've done well. (SQUEAKlNG ) alice: Have you seenNa hat around here? Stayne. my sister's followersNwill surely rise against me. Ugly little sister.NWhy do they adore her and not me? STAYNE: I cannot fathom it.NYou are far superior in all ways. RED QUEEN: I know. But Mirana can make anyoneNfall in love with her. (animals GRUNTlNG ) even the furniture. Even the King? I had to do it. He would have left me. is it not betterNto be feared than loved? Not certain anymore. let her have the rabble.Nl don't need them. I have you. They're wonderful. You must let me try one on. It is good to be workingNat my trade again. It's just a pityNyou have to make them for her. What is the hatter with me? Hatter? (chains rattling ) (THUNDER crashing ) Hatter. Have you any ideaNwhy a raven is like a writing desk? Alice. I don't like it in here.Nlt's terribly crowded. Have I gone mad? I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret.NAll the best people are. Here. That's better. You look yourself again. RED QUEEN: Hat man! NWhere are my hats? I'm not a patient monarch! I'm told she keeps the Vorpal swordNhidden in the castle. The rabbit will help you. Alice.NTake it to the White Queen. We'll go to the White Queen together. Why is it you're always too smallNor too tall? -Tweedles.N-Alice. again? N-Where's the rabbit? How is it you're being so great big? Nthis is how she normal is. I'm certain she's smaller when we met. recall it? yeah. -Where's the rabbit? N-BOTH: Over theres. -MALLY: What are you doing here? N-l'm rescuing the Hatter. I'm rescuing the Hatter. He told me that the Vorpal swordNis hidden in the castle. Help me find it. galumphing... Shoo! McTwisp? N-l know where the sword is. (THUNDER rumbling ) The sword's hidden inside. Alice. I know that smell. (SNORlNG ) I'm not going in there. Look what that thing did to my arm. dear.NWhy haven't you mentioned this? It wasn't this bad before. (HYPERVENTlLATlNG ) Hatter? Where are you? Hatter? Mallymkun. Do you still haveNthe Bandersnatch eye? Right here. -l need it.N-Come and get it. Hey! Give it back! Um. I like largeness. Get away from me. (BANDERSNATCH snoring ) (CREAKlNG ) I have your eye. (GROWLlNG ) (LOCK rattling ) (SNARLS ) (GROANS ) No. Hmm. MAN: You look stunning in that hat. Yes. Next. Your Majesty has never looked better. Hmm. Another. Oh! but it smells as thoughNyou might have dropped something. (laughing ) he's mad.NCome along. (whispering ) Stayne! (BANDERSNATCHNBREATHlNG heavily) (GROWLlNG ) I suppose this makes us even now. Um forced herself on me. Nbut she's obsessed with me. Off with her head! Mallymkun. How's this for muchness? no! Nlt mustn't be used for anything... Arrest that girl for unlawful seduction! Hatter! -Take it to the White Queen.N-l'm not leaving without you. Go! Alice! Alice? Run! Seize her. Alice. Of course. Why didn't I see it? Nand you were such a little tyke then. -Give me the sword.N-Stay back. The Queen will be so pleased. She will take great pleasureNin taking off your head. (BANDERSNATCH roaring ) Alice! N-Bayard! To Marmoreal. (barking ) (roaring ) Alice has escaped with the Vorpal sword. How could you let this happen? the Hatter and a dormouse. Off with their heads! white QUEEN: NWelcome to Marmoreal. I believe this belongs to you. Mmm. The Vorpal sword is home again. The armor is complete. Now all we need is a champion. You're a little tallerNthan I thought you'd be. Blame it on too much upelkuchen. Oh. Come with me. is the March Hare here? you wee besom. -You're late for your soup.N-Could use some salt. you! chop. Leek and potato. Yes. That would be... (sighing ) Pishsalver. Let me think. buttered fingers. My sister preferred to studyNDominion Over Living Things. (SlZZLlNG ) how does she seem to you? Perfectly horrid. -And her head? N-Bulbous. something pressing on her brain. Ntwo teaspoons of wishful thinking. You can't imagine the thingsNthat go on in that place. I can. the people will rise against her. (spitting ) That should do it. Blow. thank you. There's someone hereNwho would like to speak with you. -Absolem? N-Who are you? (coughing ) but not that one. -How do you know? N-You said so yourself. but you're much more her now. you're almost Alice. l couldn't slay the JabberwockyNif my life depended on it. It will. So I suggestNyou keep the Vorpal sword on hand when the Frabjous Day arrives. You seem so real. Sometimes I forgetNthat this is all a dream. (coughing ) Will you stop doing that? (laughing ) (WHOOSHlNG ) I've always admired that hat. Chess. would you considerNbequeathing it to me? How dare you? you know. It is a pity about all this. I was looking forwardNto seeing you Futterwacken. was I not? I really do love that hat. I would wear itNto all the finest occasions. don't you? Your Majesty. -l'd like to keep it on.N-Suit yourself. As long as I can get at your neck. I'm right behind you. Off with his head! I can't watch. (executioner shouting ) everyone. you dog. you are being heinously bamboozled by these lickspittle toadiesNyou surround yourselves with. (laughing ) What is that? Majesty. Look! A counterfeit nose.NYou should be ashamed. Me? What about that big bellyNyou're so proud of? (GASPS ) (GASPS ) Liars! Cheats! Falsifiers! Off with their heads! all of you stand up and fight! Rise up against the bloody Red Queen. -Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid! N-ALL: Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid! (ALL cheering ) Release the Jubjub Bird! (ALL gasping ) (SCREECHlNG ) (PEOPLE screaming ) it is far better to be feared than loved. boys. Quickly! Come on! Hatter! quickly.NCome on. Come on. Prepare the Jabberwocky for battle.NWe're going to visit my little sister. I had hopedNto have a champion by now. Why don't you slayNthe Jabberwocky yourself? You must have the power. It is against my vowsNto harm any living creature. (SPUTTERlNG ) We have company. Bayard. BAYARD: Bielle. (barking ) I'm so happy to see you.Nl thought they were going to... still in one piece. And I'm rather glad about thatNnow that I'm seeing you again. Nand the proper size. And it's a good size. lt's a great size.Nlt's a right proper Alice size! -Hatter.N-Size. Fez. I'm fine. Where's your hat? Mmm. love? All healed. sweet hat. Have you any ideaNwhy a raven is like a writing desk? Let me think about it. don't you? Frabjous Day. How could I forget? Wish I'd wake up. do you? N-Of course. This has all come from my own mind. Which would mean that I'm not real. Afraid so.NYou're just a figment of my imagination. I would dream up someoneNwho's half-mad. yes. But you would have to beNhalf-mad to dream me up. (LAUGHS ) then. I'll miss you when I wake up. (playing TRUMPET) Who will step forth to be championNfor the White Queen? That would be I. You have very poor evaporating skills.Nl should be the one. I'll do it. me. nohow. it ain't dead. you cannot live your lifeNto please others. you will step out alone. Nothing was ever accomplishedNwith tears. Absolem? Why are you upside down? I've come to the end of this life. -You're going to die? N-Transform. Don't go. I need your help.Nl don't know what to do. stupid girl. I'm not stupid. My name is Alice. I live in London. I have a mother named HelenNand a sister named Margaret. My father was Charles Kingsleigh. and nothing ever stopped him. I'm his daughter. I'm Alice Kingsleigh. at last. You were just as dim-wittedNthe first time you were here. " as I recall. Wonderland. (WATCH ticking ) -What do you call yourself? N-Alice. The Alice? but that's the end of it. McTWlSP: She's the right one.Nl'm certain of it. please. Have some tea. stupid girl. (coughing ) he's Tweedledum. Nhe's Tweedledee. DODO: You'd think she wouldNremember all this from the first time. Curiouser and curiouser. Nit was a memory. Nand so are you and so is the Hatter. And the Jabberwocky. the Vorpal swordNknows what it wants. All you have to do is hold on to it. Alice.NPerhaps I will see you in another life. (HEAVY FOOTSTEPS approaching ) Mirana. (playing TRUMPET) Nthe Queens Red and White shall send forth their championsNto do battle on their behalf. Racie. We don't have to fight. I know what you're doing. You think you can blinkNthose pretty little eyes Njust like Mummy and Daddy did. Please. No! It is my crown! I am the eldest! Jabberwocky! (WHlMPERlNG ) (gasping ) (roaring ) This is impossible. Only if you believe it is. Sometimes I believe as many as sixNimpossible things before breakfast. That is an excellent practice. you really might wantNto focus on the Jabberwocky. Sister? Here. Um. Alice. there's a potionNthat can make you shrink. (ROARS ) and a cakeNthat can make you grow. Nwe meet on the battlefield once again. We've never met. insignificant bearer. the Vorpal one. That's enough chatter. (JABBERWOCKY SHRlEKlNG ) animals can talk. cats can disappear. there's a place called Wonderland. l can slay the Jabberwocky. (ROARS ) The Hatter's interfering! NOff with his head! (SCREECHlNG ) (BANDERSNATCH roaring ) (JABBERWOCKY screeching ) Off with your head! Kill her! NBloody Big Head. How dare you? Off with his head! your crimesNagainst Underland are worthy of death. you are banishedNto the Outlands. Nor ever speak a word to you. You will not have a friend in the world. I hope you bear me no ill will. you are to join lracebeth in banishment from this dayNuntil the end of Underland. At least we have each other. (GASPS ) (EX claiming ) please! Kill me! Please! But I do not owe you a kindness. -STAYNE: Take off my head! N-He tried to kill me. -Majesty! Please! Please! N-He tried to kill me. -l offer you my head! N-He tried to kill me! the Frabjous Day! Callou! Callay! (FUTTERWACKEN music playing ) -What is he doing? N-Futterwacken. (laughing ) (LAUGHS ) (CLEARS THROAT) Blood of the Jabberwocky.NYou have our everlasting gratitude. And for your efforts on our behalf... -Will this take me home? N-lf that is what you choose. You could stay. wonderful idea. But I can't. Nthings I have to do. Be back again before you know it. You won't remember me. Of course I will. How could I forget? why is a ravenNlike a writing desk? I haven't the slightest idea. Alice. (PEOPLE chattering ) She left me standing thereNwithout an answer. no doubt. -Alice.N-LORD ASCOT: Good Lord. -Are you all right? N-What happened to you? I fell down a hole and hit my head. Hamish. I can't marry you.NYou're not the right man for me. And there's that troubleNwith your digestion. but this is my life.Nl'll decide what to do with it. and you be good to her.Nl'll be watching very closely. Aunt lmogene. You need to talk to someoneNabout these delusions. Nespecially white ones. l'll find something usefulNto do with my life. You two remind me of some funny boysNl met in a dream. sir. You and I have business to discuss. Shall we speak in the study? Oh. And one more thing. (ALL gasping ) but I don't thinkNhe was looking far enough. Why not go all the way to China? Nand we have a foothold in Hong Kong. Ncan you imagine it? "You've lost your senses." But I've seen that look before. perhaps you'd consider becomingNan apprentice with the company. Absolem. ( alice playing ) spinning around I'm undergroundNl fell down I fell down I'm freaking outNWhere am I now? Upside down and I can't stop it now Can't stop me now I'll get by I'll survive When the world's crashing downNWhen I fall and hit the ground I will turn myself aroundNDon't you try to stop me I won't cry I found myself in Wonderland the ground is this real? is it pretend? I'll take a stand until the end I'll get by I'll survive When the world's crashing downNWhen I fall and hit the ground I will turn myself aroundNDon't you try to stop me I won't cry ( alice'S THEME playing ) where have you been? so in between What have you heard? NWhat have you seen? Alice are you big or small? To try this one or try them all long way to fall Alice not that? You choose the doorNYou choose the path Perhaps you should be coming back another day And nothing is quite what it seems You're dreamingNAre you dreaming? Alice Alice Oh! how will you find your way? how will you find your way? No time for tears todayNNo time for tears today No time for tears todayNNo time for tears today how did you choose? so much to lose So many things got in your way no time today Be careful not to lose your head Remember what the dormouse said Alice! Did someone pull you by the hand? How many miles to Wonderland? Please tell us so we'll understand Alice how will you find your way? how will you find your way? The End Charles, you have finally lost your senses This venture is impossible. For some. Gentlemen, the only way to achieve the impossible is to believe it IS possible. That kind of thinking could ruin you I'm willing to take that chance. Imagine a trading post in Rangoon! Bangkok, Jakarta! The nightmare again? I won't be long I'm falling Down a dark hole. Then I see strange creatures. What kind of creatures? There's a dodo bird, a rabbit in a waist coat and a smiling cat I did not know cats could smile. Neither did I. And there is a blue caterpillar. A blue caterpillar? Do you think I've gone round the bend? I'm afraid so. You're mad, bonkers, off your head But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are. It's only a dream, Alice, nothing can harm you there. But if you get too frightened, You can always wake up. Like this Must we go? I doubt he'll notice if we never arrive He will notice Where 's your corset? - And no stockings. - I'm against them. But you are not properly dressed Who is to say what is "proper"? What if it was agreed that "proper"was wearing a codfish on your head, would you wear it? Alice ... For me, a corset is like a codfish Please, not today. Father would have laughed. I'm sorry. I'm tired. I didn't sleep well last night. Did you have bad dreams again? Only one. It's always the same, ever since I can remember Do you think that's normal? Don't most people have different dreams? I don't know. There. You're beautiful. Now, can you manage to smile? At last. We thought you'd never arrive Alice, Hamish is waiting to dance with you . Go. You do realize it's well past 4? Now everything I've been rushed through - I am sorry. - Oh, nevermind. Forgive my wife. She been planning this affair for over 20 years. If only Charles were here. My condolences I think of your husband often. He was truly a man of vision I hope you don't think I've taken advantage of your misfortunes Of course not. I'm pleased that you've purchased the company. I was a fool for not investing in his mad venture when I had the chance Charles thought so too Hamish, do you ever get tired of quadrille? On the contrary. I find it envigorating Do I amuse you? No. I had a sudden vision, of all the ladies in trousers and the men wearing dresses It would be best to keep your visons to yourself. When in doubt, remain silent. Pardon us, sir. Ms. Kingsley is distracted today. - Where is your head? - I was wondering what it would be like to fly. Why would you spend your time thinking about such an impossible thing? Why wouldn't I? My father said he sometimes believed in six impossible things before breakfast. Alice, meet me at the Gazebo in precisely ten minutes. We have a secret to tell you. If you're telling me, then it's not much of a secret - Perhaps we shouldn't. - We decided we should. - If you tell us, we won't be surprised. - Will you be surprised? Today my father will buy me a bike, and it will be prettier than yours! A bike? Skidders are more fun than bikes! They're no fun! I don't want that! If you behave like this, I will not buy anything for you. And your mother? She went to the market to buy something. You are a liar. And that face? It doesn't frighten me! Then throw it in the trash, if you don't want it. I got upset because he is too egoistic. I'm upset because papa did not buy me a bike. Then you were wrong, papa. You're good boy, don't cry. How was I wrong? You did not have to lie to the boy. You don't know how much I wanted that bicycle for my son! Papa, you are a liar! You should speak with the director. Although I was in the right, it's normal that he dismissed me. Be content with the skidder. Who needs a bicycle anyway? I didn't think that I would have to work at such a humble job. But you have a job, that is better than nothing. Though I received a master's degree now I can't find work in the lowliest job. It's all my fault. I feel it. How lucky are the children, they can cry when they want. A bear escaped from its cage! Although it escaped, our life remains in the same rut. Miyo got sick from eating bad candy. The doctor said that if it's disentery, she could die. Why did you let her eat that candy? I made some money by selling old magazines and I bought the candies she wanted so much! Money's needed for that. We will find It, don't worry. Go call a taxi, quickly. And you get everything ready. She's improving, do not worry. Now I feel calmer, we can return home. How will we pay the hospital? Children recover quickly, all was as before. We no longer have anything in the closet! But Miyo is in a far better condition. How the world has changed! Making do With whatever comes our way! We've been in a difficult plight. Have you also come to look for work? I heard you left the university 24 years ago. After the university, I worked as a professor in the radio. and 1 or 2 months ago, I opened a western restaurant. If you're looking for work, why don't you come work for a season with me? What? To work in a restaurant? If you help me with the restaurant, I will help find a job for you. Thus is the shared fate of a pair well known in the Ministry of Education. If you offered me this out of pity for my poverty, I would be offended. However, being an old student of yours, I accept. I did not want to seem disagreeable, but when one becomes poor, a man also becomes sensitive. I met Mr. Ryojima at the employment office. He will help us with the restaurant. Please, see that Mr. Ryojima is comfortable here. Were you ever a waiter? My wife and I worked in our own restaurant. Perhaps if there were a pretty girl, the restaurant would go better. In the university you also spoke constantly of girls. I have had many problems as a widower. We have time to make a banner for publicity. Or we could organize a meeting of ex-students who can do publicity for us. We can do both things. Papa! That wasn't your father. Papa does not do such kind of work. I cannot walk very well, could you take my placard? With two placards, I will not be able to walk well. You wouldn't be so weak, if while a student you had done more gymnastics. HIS WIFE DID NOT WANT HIM TO WORK IN SOMETHING SO HUMBLE, CONSIDERED A SHAME. This one is my medicine I can't give it to you. You also went somewhere? I went to see the father of an old friend of mine to request a job for you. And how is everything? I saw a terrible thing. I saw you. Never have I asked you to do something like this. Although we're in difficulties,you don't need to do something so degrading. That gentleman is an ex-professor of mine. Perhaps he can find me a job. So far I only help him. You really can trust him? When one is in difficulties, one will trust anyone. I'm slowly losing the force and the vigor of my youth. From this morning I will also help your professor. 45 DAYS LATER Professor, we are all prepared. Do you want to come? EVERYTHING IS READY I am very contented to see everyone reunited here. For me it is something indespensible. I am happy that you have prevailed in life and that you have become fortunate. Today we will celebrate. A party like in our youth. I hope you have a prosperous future. Today's special: CURRY RICE. 15 CENTS It's a pity on a day like this if you must pay. For us the times ahead are very difficult. You are in luck, there's a job for you. English Teacher in a girl's school. How is your English? Therefore you will no longer be anxious. The school is in the city of Tochigi. Shall we go? Don't be sad, someday we shall return to Tokyo. You have not rid yourself of the vice of arriving late? Let us sing the hymn of the school. Three springs pass so quickly. Your face is still as vibrant as a scarlet flower. Now we take leave of each other, in a future we'll meet again. BERLIN ALEXANDERPLATZ THE STORY OF FRANZ BIBERKOPF TEGEL PENAL INSTITUTION Good luck, Biberkopf. Your streetcar's over there. Go on now. What's wrong with you? I don't know. I can't get my bearings. You need a stiff drink. Come on. Let's go get a drink. BALLROOM These things still go on! Anyway... Where'd that guy go with my suitcase? - You got conned. So they stole that too. Now I have nothing left. Oh well. At least you can't lose anything that way. Well, well. Biberkopf! You've been gone a long time. A beer and two patties. Coming up. - Wait. - What? Let me. So you help out here? No male admirers around? - No, none. - In that case, another beer. Cheers. Who's that with Cilly? A beer driver, maybe. Can't believe she'd go for that type. His name's Biberkopf. I know him from before. Just out of prison. Four years. Oh? Killed his girlfriend, Ida, while on the booze. Not bad for a beginner. Eats her fill and then she's off. - What did he come looking for? - Me! Do I owe you? I'll pay you back. So you were in the can? - Yeah, but that's over. - You're quite a guy. I'm a street vendor now: Matches, newspapers, suspenders. You can't make money that way. The main thing is to go straight. Am I right? - You're right. What's your name? Reinhold. See ya, Reinhold. You used to be my gal, Cilly. Not anymore. Maybe we can be friends again. Get the fat guy for us. We can use him. He's done time in Tegel. The two new guys are lightweights. We're gonna get that guy. - Looks real solid. - Yeah. And not too bright. - Is he willing? - Let me worry about that. Karl, go after him. Okay. Hey, watch where you're going! What's the big deal? I'm looking for someone. Pardon me, Your Excellency! Have you seen a guy with a brown fur collar? Has a guy with a brown fur collar been in here? I haven't seen him. You seen a guy with a brown fur collar? A brown fur collar? Lots of guys with brown fur collars come in here. Who sent you here? If you haven't seen the guy, then why should you care? Lots of guys with brown fur collars come in here. See? He's seen 'em! We need to know who sent you here. I don't have to tell you my business. If you ask him if a guy with a brown fur collar was in here, then he can ask you who sent you here. I still don't have to tell you who I am. No, my friend. If you ask him a question, then he can ask you one too. Otherwise just don't ask him. I still don't have to tell you my business! Then he doesn't have to say if the guy was here. It's just logical. Aren't you the clever one! Fine! Go on being clever! Wise guy! - Hey, wait! - You talkin' to me? Hold on a minute. What's your big hurry? - What do you want? - Nuthin'. Just got a question. Now, then... where are you going? To work. Work's hard to find these days. I know some work for a guy with your muscles. I don't use muscle anymore. I use... my kisser! Step right up, ladies and gentlemen. Come closer. Why do rich men on the west side wear ties but workers don't? Step right up, folks. You too, young lady with your husband, and you minors too. Why don't workers wear ties? Because they can't tie 'em! So he buys a tie holder but it's poor quality, and he can't tie his tie! That's cheating the customer! That's a swindle! That makes people resentful and pushes Germany even deeper into misery than it already is! Come closer, folks. You storm troopers are kindly invited to join the festivities too. Step in closer so I can save my voice. I didn't insure it. I couldn't make the first payment. Buy my handy little ready-made gadget here. You'll save time and money. Time is money! You can't just wrap a gas hose around your neck every morning! You need this fine little device. And if war reparations have left you with anything, it's that head on your shoulders that tells you that you need this! Come out of the street, young man. If you get run over, who'll clean up the mess? Buy my wares, ladies and gentlemen. The price is right: One for 20, three for 50. It won't snap, split or break. Don't laugh, folks. I just wanted to show you how sturdy and solid it is. Just 20 for one, 50 for three. Here's your chance at a real deal! One for 20, three for 50. Cilly! So nice of you to come by! I'll get my things and be right back. I'll wait here. You know, Franz, you'd make a good family man: Nightgown, felt slippers, the whole thing. Something wrong with that? You'll never get anywhere like that! Wait and see. Lots of guys are worse off. They end up on the dole or get locked up out at Tegel. What's gotten into you? You're cozy here. You can do anything you want. Listen. I have something for you. What is it? Nice. Where'd you get these things? - How do I look? First I gotta know where you got 'em. I see. You'd rather look like a tramp than accept something from me. Take 'em back where you got 'em. Got that? Then maybe I should just leave too. Maybe you should. Where'd you get these things, Cilly? A girl gave them to me. I won't ― I'm telling you: Watch your step. Don't be angry, Franzie. None of us are angels, are we? Enough! Let's get down to the bar! - You really mean it? - Why not? Stop pestering it all the time! And you get out of here with that cigar! The air's bad enough. You're nuts! They've never been in a cage. They don't understand. So what's the story? He wouldn't take the clothes. Well, I want Biberkopf, and that's that. Well, I won't help. I want him, and that's that. Why do you want him? We have the two new guys. Those cream puffs are useless! Forget about 'em. Enough of your "peep peep." Mr. Biberkopf, my tie's come undone. You got that patented tie holder? Come to the Alexanderplatz. They don't allow business in here. Franz, let's go somewhere else. Take it easy. Buy the real thing here! Why do rich men on the west side wear ties but workers don't? One for 20, three for 50! Step right up! Shall I loosen my tie and sing a little song, boys? Peep, peep, peep The dickey bird sings Do you know where the dickey bird sings In its cage Where On the wall Don't ask such stupid questions Perhaps the honorable Mr. Biberkopf will sing something too. You bet I will! What should I sing? Wait a minute. What can the band play? Wait a minute. Do you know "I Once Knew a Comrade"? I once knew a comrade You couldn't find a better man But now it's all over and I've paid my dues And now I'm starting all over again There'll be sweat and hard work The new Biberkopf holds his own The old Biberkopf no longer exists The old Biberkopf is dead, dead, dead What do you take us for? Find some other bar... Mr. Biberkopf. What's the problem? The gentleman needs a new bar. We're not classy enough. - Get off the table. - Says who? Says me! I'll pay for the glasses. Fine, but stop driving my customers away. Come on, Cilly. I know the score here. - Rotten dump! - Let's go this way. - No, this way. - Come on ― this way! Why? We'll go this way. Let's go. I'm going this way. Get against the wall, Franz! Who'll pay for our window? Go see what's happening. Go yourself. And he calls himself a man! Fido, come here! Fido, come here! You guys are crazy! What do you think you're doing? - The swine! - Are you all right? You picked the wrong guy! Here's your hat. Did they hurt you? They picked the wrong guy. What's going on, Officer? What's happening? So you don't know either? He's playing dumb. What do you want? Franz is ― He's in there dancing with some fat cow. Violets. Here, Cilly. I shouldn't really accept these. How much longer will it be? You two gonna become trash pickers? Break every bone in his body ― he won't change. But you're a clever girl. Listen, I'll get you ten other guys. I need him, and he'll do as I say! Forget about Franz! You love him, huh? Won't help me out? - No. - Say that again! Let me go! You don't like me anymore anyway. Excuse me, sweetheart. So here you two are! You're my friend. You saved my life. You get to wear my crown. You are my friend I'll be forever loyal And you are my destiny Franzie... dear Franzie. What is it, snookums? I can't make heads or tails of this stuff. Franz, how about we get away from this place? Why? I've got money I can lend you. Why? Things are fine here. You sent all the guys off. Now we're short tonight. We've got a first-class replacement. Who? I see. Mr. Peep Peep. A most respectable man... who'll soon be chirping a different tune. Let's move out to the suburbs. Come in. Miss Cilly, there's a man here to see you. I just look at tax forms and I'm lost. Reinhold says to tell you we need ― You know. He wants Franz to stop by. Well? Reinhold sent word to go see him. Sure, let's go. I can't figure this out anyway. Reinhold's a fine young man. We can all be wrong about people sometimes, you know? Let's go. - You go. I'll be right there. All right. See you later. - Where are we going? - Pankow. But first we're picking up two guys. I can't be gone long. Cilly's waiting. We'll go get her later. Good Lord! She'll be furious! Henschke? Henschke. Isn't Reinhold here? They all drove off together. - What about Biberkopf? - Him too. What's wrong? Why so upset, Miss Cilly? They just want to have a little fun. Nothing wrong with that. - What's wrong? - What if Franz messes things up? We've just gotta help him. God, I'm thirsty! The boys are waiting. So let 'em wait. Get rid of the cigar. - Why? - Because I said so. That was a new cigar. You stay here. If anything happens, whistle. - Whistle? - Don't you understand? - What's wrong? - Let me outta here! Hey! Shut up! Let me out! I gotta get outta here! I want out! I gotta get out! Out of the way! Come on, let's go! That's not one of ours! - It's a different car! - Someone squealed on us! Looks like the police! Police? Push him out! - He won't squeal on us again! - He'll slow down the cops. I told you he'd be trouble. What was that, Karl? It's an awful road. You can't see a thing. - Who's there? - Open up! You guys were gone a long time. Where's Franz? What's she doing here? She wanted to call the police for her Franz. You almost sunk us all, you and your Biberkopf. - Where's Franz? - The cops got him. That's a lie! Shut her up! It's not true! Henschke, we'll be gone a few days. I'll tell you the address. Quiet! You're coming with us. Good luck, Biberkopf. Buy my little gadget! Peep, peep, peep The dickey bird sings Let me outta here! - Push him out! - He squealed on us! Well now, Mr. Biberkopf! Welcome back. You were gone a long time ― three weeks. You boiling some punch there? Have a look. I'm not buying that. It's gauze for bandages. I don't know you. What's your name? Me? Paula. I don't know no Paula. What's this? What's this thing here? You're ill, Mr. Biberkopf. Your head and arm were injured. I want outta here. I have my work! I have things to do! Soon. What's going on here? What's wrong with me? I have to get your particulars. You don't mind, do you? Let's see. You were run over on May 12 on the Eberswalderstrasse. Name: Franz Biberkopf. Auto accident. Did you step in front of the car, or what? No, no. Watch closely. I'll demonstrate once more. Here's the perfect rubber band for a gentleman. It won't snap, split or break. Made from the very best materials. The whole family could hang from this rubber band. Pull that end, young man. Harder! It won't bounce back like a bad check! So you're not married. No children either? Sorry ― dumb question. Don't say that. So... you're a street vendor. What sort of things do you sell? Very kind of you to sit and talk with me, Doctor. I wanted to ask ― The others are asking when the cast is coming off my arm. It'll get stiff being bandaged too long, won't it? That's a powerful hand. Squeeze. Oh yes, very strong! You're a real man, Biberkopf. - That's right. Rotten luck, getting hit by that car. Your skull was fractured. We weren't able to save your arm. You mean my arm is gone? Well... thanks so much for telling me. Well, anyway... You have a tough job too, telling people these things. All in a day's work. Now let's see you get back on your feet quickly. - Tomorrow. - No, a few more days. I can get up tomorrow. I can only lie in bed for so long. I have to get back to work. Love comes, love goes No government can forbid it A blonde today A brunette tomorrow Who wants to commit his heart Take your luck as it comes It's no shame to enjoy life Love comes, love goes NO BEGGING OR MUSIC PLAYING ALLOWED It wafts in on the breeze and then it's gone No one makes a big fuss over love these days You get along or you slug it out A day is like a year... Miss, take some change out of my pocket. I can't reach my piggy bank. Love comes, love goes No government can forbid it Put the rest back now. A brunette tomorrow Who wants to commit his heart See, I didn't steal any. Then reach in again. Your fiancé isn't as old as he looks either. What's going on here? Good thing that sign says you're blind or no one would know. Mind your own business. I'm just doing my job. Better guide your music director back to his chair. Meet me at 5:00 at the fountain in Friedrichshain Park. Love comes, love goes No government can do anything about it So here we are. Yes, here we are. So you think we should be organ grinders? Were you in the war? And how! - What's your name? - Me? Biberkopf, Franz. - My name's Sonia. - Are you from Poland? No. Bernau. Then your name can't be Sonia. No, they just call me that because of how I look. I see. - Are things all right? - Yeah, for now. - You don't get a pension? - Sure, but nothing regular. Well? Well? Are you going to take me home? No, I better not. What's wrong? Yeah, I'll take you home. Come with me. I'm not gonna call you Sonia. I'm gonna call you... Mieze. How do you do, Mieze? What's all the ruckus? What's wrong? Biberkopf's here asking for you. Who? Biberkopf! Aren't you gonna scram? No. Why should I? What's he want? Hello, Karl. My left hand. Straight from the heart. So... how are things? Oh, you know. Just got out of the hospital. Almost died. Just came by to see if things are okay. Yeah, everything's fine. Glad to hear it. No one else around? No. Well, see ya. Just a minute. Cilly's been asking about you. She's a classy lady now, with a gentleman on the west side. Good for her. Good-bye. Can you figure him out? Who's speaking, please? No, I can't hear you. Oh! Henschke! What? No! Franz? He came in here! How's he look? Sturdy as an ox. He wants to come back. All right. Thanks. He's looking for Reinhold. Let's go after him. No, you stay here. Put your hands up! Put 'em up! I only got one arm. What do you want? Put that down. What do you want from me? I want to let bygones be bygones. I'm not falling for that. I lost an arm, but otherwise I'm fine. And? And nothing. Tell me what you want! I want to let bygones be bygones. Maybe you don't believe me. My arm's gone. It ain't gonna grow back. But here I am. So it's money you want? Money? Yeah, I want to make money with you guys, work with you guys. I thought I could take the respectable route, but I was a real dope. So here I am. What else can I do? Be an organ grinder? No, I'd rather steal. I did everything I could. But that's over and done with, even if it costs me my neck. - So this is your latest idea? - No, no, no! I did everything I could! Now here I am, and here I'm gonna stay! So think it over. What are you doing here? Franz, come home! Why that look? What's wrong? - It's not a woman's business. Things will get better. You think so? I've starved and frozen many a time, but things always turned out fine. So you're Mieze. I was Franz's girlfriend before. I'm Cilly. I don't know a thing about Franz. Oh, don't you look smart! - What do you want to know? - Everything! A guy with one arm ― out of the question! Buy him a barrel organ or give him a couple marks. We've got to watch out for him. You know why. What good's a guy with no arm? - Or a guy with no brain! - Huh? You can't see he's come to his senses. He just wants to spy on us! Rubbish! I know what he wants. I'll try him out, and I'll be responsible. Mieze, you've got to watch out for him. They make him do anything they want. I'll get a job, if I have to be an organ grinder. I know that crowd. Watch out or they'll get him into trouble. You understand? Tomorrow evening, you say? Is Biberkopf really coming with us? Of course. Why not? One bale of cheviot, 75.29. One half bale of worsted, 75.64. One bale of cheviot, 75.66. - How many bales are missing in total? - Just a moment. My wife said just yesterday, "No one can get through that door!" So they came through the roof! - The very best English cloth! These men clearly have no sense of patriotism! The very best English cloth! The very best English cloth. I certainly hope so, or I'm conning myself. That tickles! No nonsense! I'll send for my old things later. Mieze, come and be amazed. What do you think? - Very smart! Clothes make the man. Now it's your turn. No! Don't be so silly! Business is good. We can afford decent clothes now. Right? - Right. Good-bye now. I'll be right there. Four more lagers! Two bottles of champagne. Well, well! A big spender! Hey, where is this guy? Just as I thought! Ah, who cares? Mr. Show-off! All this wonderful champagne! We only live once! Cheers! I told you: I'm not going in. I'm not dressed for it. Well, in that case ― Unlike you, Mr. Fancy-Pants. Franz isn't gonna outdo me. Careful that his big spending doesn't land us in jail. He's a rookie! He's showing off for me. Have a good time. Hey, kitten! Leave the whole box. How much is it? - Fifteen marks. Wait a minute. Here's 20 marks. Keep the change. Let's drink. I'm so thirsty. Life is so wonderful! Ah, Reinhold! I'd like to introduce my friend, Count Casanova. Let the count sit down. Count, these are three prize-winning beauties of Pankow. Let me talk to my friend a minute. My dear Reinhold, I'm always so happy to see you. You need another man? You'd need a radiator to thaw that one out! - Shall I tickle you, darling? - Give us a smile! - Pay no attention to them. - You're quite the ladies' man. Scram for a while, girls. These dames mean nothing to me. But at home I have a real pearl, a treasure, a jewel. Why don't you bring her along? No, better to leave her home. No need to drag women everywhere. Of course! What do you think? Those crooks steal and cheat. - Crooks? And Franz frightens me too. Franz? He's done time too. Tegel. Four years. Prison. That's right ― Franz. I tell you, she's wonderful. Good as gold. Menu, sir? - A lemonade. - You and your lemonade! Rubbish! Have some champagne! Then you'll see what life's really like! Play my favorite song again, boys! A round for the orchestra! When a man's 30 years old He has life At his feet Later his hair grows gray And he lies flat on his face What's the point of being 30 And letting money go unspent Slave away and all the rest And end up with nothing No! We only go around once in life We get one chance at girls, schnapps and beer Yes, let life's big moving van come Adieu, Berlin We're driving on To the orchestra! We'll now announce the prizes for the three most beautiful bathing suits. First prize, a set of fine china, goes to Miss Clarissa Gordona. Second prize, a crystal bowl, goes to Miss Anni Behnke. Third prize, a travel bag, goes to Miss Schulz. Mieze, I have something else to tell you. Watch out for Reinhold! He's the most dangerous of all. All right. He's the one I'll go after. Wait a minute. It's cold outside. You'll freeze. Here. I'll lend you my fur. Hasn't she prettied up the place? Wait till you see how gentle she is, and good as gold. You have everything you need at the bar. Enough about the bar! Here she comes! Hide and don't make a sound! Stop right there, Mieze. You have to swear first. Swear you won't look behind the curtains. "I swear..." Come on! I swear. "I swear I won't look behind the curtains." - Fine. - Good girl. You got me another present, didn't you? Don't buy me any more presents! Why not, sweetie? We have everything we need. I have my dress. You have your things. Why do we need more things? Because they're nice to have. What is it? Franzie... I have something to say. - Then say it! I want to wear my old dress! Oh, dear. We'll look for work, even something on the street! Why? Where'd you get that fur? Where'd you get this? I ran into an old friend. - And he told you about me? No. - And you let him give you furs? - Yes! But I can't give you presents? Franz, let's dress like before and look for work. You're not gonna tell me who it was? I made that up! Where'd you meet? On the street? While I'm risking my neck and showering you with money? Get away from me, you tramp! You tramp! Damn you! Get out of my sight! I'm out risking my neck and slaving away like crazy! Franz! Let me go! Let go! This is my home! Leave me alone! This is my home! Open this door! Just wait until I ― Get out! Get out! I helped you! Out! Shame on you! You rat! You swine! Get out! "She's so gentle, so faithful..." I almost killed you... like I killed Ida. I want to go straight, but it's too hard. Guys like me never get a break. I'm going for a drive in the country with Karl. I'm tired of doing nothing. We've got some accounts to settle in Weissensee. Ede and Biberkopf have to go along. - You're taking Franz? - Yeah. When will you be back? Tonight at the earliest. All right. Hello, young lady. My friend Biberkopf sent me with a message. He'll be home late tonight. He asked you to come by? Not exactly. I just thought I'd come over and patch things up from last night. - What do you really want? - I told you! And there's nothing wrong with calling on a pretty girl, is there? I thought, "It's a beautiful day. Let's drive out into the country." Franz is coming too. Yes, he'll join us this evening. You know him and me are friends. All right. Then I can talk to you about Franz. Sure. Where is he? Freienwalde. Karl will drive us. There must be lots you can tell me about Franz. Yeah, lots. He's a good fellow, if a bit of a softie. He cried on the stairs last night. He wants out. He's not a criminal! - He's starting that again? - Not him ― me! You, kitten? I see. Let's have a kiss. Kiss me! You're quite a girl! You give me ideas! To think he works with men like you! Shame on you! Yeah, shame on me! Let me go or I'll scream! Go ahead! Scream your head off! Here. Think you can run home and rat on me to Franz? "Reinhold tried to kiss me, and I let him have it!" Let me go! You swine! I'll give it to you right in the face! Bastard! You know how Franz lost his arm? He wouldn't obey either! So I grabbed him just like this and pushed him out of the car! Murderer! Help! Help! We wander through the whole wide world We wander because we enjoy it so We wander over hill and dale We wander through the whole wide world Let's go! What's the matter? Where's Mieze? I heard her yelling. She's not yelling anymore. Let's go! NO SHORT SWIM TRUNKS ALLOWED Mieze's run away. What can I do? She left her clothes and everything behind. - Did you hit her? - Yeah. What's she doing with a louse like me? It was just the one time. One time or ten ― it's the same thing. I know who she ran off with. - Who? - A guy she knew before. He even gave her a fur. A fur collar? I gave her that! The little minx! Then where is she? We have to look for her. Ah, she'll come back. No, you have to look for her. Me? I'm not running after no woman. She'll be back. - I need a hundred. - How much? A hundred. Watch your step! You watch yours! Miss Cilly! Where's Reinhold? Pretty as a painted rocking horse! I'll see you boys later. What is it, doll? Where's Mieze? Who? You know where she is. I spoke with Franz's landlady. You were upstairs with Mieze... alone. Look at me! I brought Franz to work for you. Do I have something else on my conscience now? Tell me! Do I? Dumb broad! POLICE HEADQUARTERS Blond hair ― that's all I can tell. It was in the young woman's left fist. But she herself had brown hair? So add that to the poster: "Suspect has fine blond hair." Take this to the chief. Room 62. What's wrong? What is it? It's not my fault. What's wrong? You mustn't get upset, Franz. Don't start yelling right away. What is it? What is it? It's not my fault! "Murder in Freienwalde." It's not my fault! It's... It's Mieze, isn't it? Our little Mieze. It's all over now. Now they've done it. Who was it? Who was it? I don't know. All I read was "blond hair," and blond hair has to mean Reinhold. I don't know. I don't want to accuse anyone. It was Reinhold. I have to get him. I have to get him. - No! Let me go! I have to get him! I'll drag him down to hell with me! I'll drag him down to hell with drums and trumpets! The world can go to the dogs, every single man and woman! We're all going to hell with drums and trumpets! You can't go out there! We're all going to hell! You're coming to the station. You're Biberkopf! We're all going to hell! Don't ever come back here again! REWARD! MURDER IN FREIENWALDE Listen, wanna make some money? A pile of dough. - How? See what it says? "Blond hair." Still don't get it? Sure. But won't that get you in trouble? Nah. You just say you saw them together in the car. Near my place around 9:00. No, make it 11:00. COURT OF JUSTICE Fifteen years' prison for Reinhold. Pretty stiff. And they let Franz go! But you gotta hand it to 'em ― they both stood their ground. The lawyer argued for two hours that Reinhold was marginally retarded. Reinhold will have to pay him for that! A pretty penny! - Did they swear you in? - Sure. - On the Bible? - No, not that. Good. What do they want? Either they want our picture or they're new recruits. Here he comes. We've gotta help Franz out with some money. He won't take anything from us anymore. It's all behind you. You're rid of those guys now. And you're rid of me too. Everyone has to find his own way, right? I'll find work. And you have to tell yourself you just got out of Tegel. Life is just beginning for you. Mieze is gone, and my arm is gone. Come on, don't give up now! You've always said you don't work with your arms but with ― Your kisser, ladies and gentlemen! Shut those honorable kissers, because here comes the main attraction! Berlin pricks up its ears and holds its breath. Even that policeman's arm hangs suspended in the air. We've all been knocked on our rear end at some point. But it's stomach in, chest out, and back on your feet, or you end up in a pauper's grave! Many among us have stared down grenades and shrapnel, stared right in their eyes. We got knocked down, but we got right back up. You can see that my right arm's gone, yet here I stand tall on my own two feet! The Berolina Statue, the old symbol of Berlin, high above the Alexanderplatz ― they tore it down. It's no longer standing. Why? It was metal on the outside, but hollow inside. But... this little gizmo here ― this gave me the idea. They can knock it down and turn it on its head ― it always gets back on its feet. That's right. It has metal where it counts. Think about it, folks. Metal where it counts. You get knocked over, but you'll always get back on your feet ― as long as a man's got two legs to stand on. But it's not a man's legs that matter, or his arms, but what he's got in here! The Story of Franz Biberkopf Administration of Tegel prison Good luck, Biberkopf. Come on, leave. What's the matter with you? I don't know. I just can't keep up with this. Come on, we'll go and drink some korn. Even such things are still around. Where did he go with my suitcase? I think you got mugged. They even stole that one. There is nothing left for me now. But that doesn't matter. - At least you can't lose anything. Haven't seen you in a while. A beer and two rissoles. Done. What? Let me do that. Allright You're helping out here? No gentlemen around? No, there aren't any. Well then, another beer. Cheers! Who is Cilly sitting with? Maybe some truckdriver. She's into that type. That's Biberkopf. I've known him for a while. Just released from prison. 4 years. Why? Ida, his wife. He killed her during a binge. Not too bad. Done eating and drinking, she wanders off. What's he doing here? Do I owe you something? You'd better not bother me. You were in Tegel! - Yes, but that's over. - You're a tough guy. I'll start my own business: Matches, newspapers, suspenders You're not gonna earn anything with that. The main thing is that one lives his life decently. Isn't that right or am i correct? - What's your name? - Reinhold. Bye, Reinhold. You used to be my girlfriend, Cilly. Nah, not anymore. Maybe we'll get back together, Cilly. Well, you'll keep an eye on the fat one. We can use him. He already spent time in Tegel I don't like our two new guys. Weaklings. We'll take that one. Looks pretty solid. Right. He seems a little dumb too. Does he want to do it? None of your business. Karl, go follow him. Hey, stop pushing! Wait, I'm just looking for someone. Did you see someone with a furry brown coat? I didn't see no-one. Furry brown coat? Where are you from? Who sent you here? Well, since you didn't see such a guy this really shouldn't bother you. Lot of people with furry brown coats show up here. See, he knows! But then one has to know who sent you. That still doesn't mean that I have to tell you about my business here. When you ask someone if they saw someone with a furry brown coat... then he has the right to ask you who sent you. I don't need to tell you who I am nonetheless. No no buddy. If you ask him then he can ask you in return. Otherwise you don't need to ask him in the first place. Still, I don't have to tell you what my business is. Then he doesn't have to tell you if someone was here. That makes sense. You're really smart. If you are that smart you should remain that smart. Hey, wait. Stop for a moment buddy. Just a moment. Stop running! Why are you in such a hurry? What do you want? Just asking a question, nothing else. So, where are you going? - Work. - Ha, that will take a while to find any. But I have something for you, with all your muscles. I don't use my muscles, I use my big mouth. Come closer, ladies and gentlemen! Why does the wealthy man in the west wear a bow and the yobbo doesn't? You too, young miss with your husband. Why doesn't the yobbo wear a bow? Because he can't tie one. So he buys a clip-on tie... and after the purchase it goes bad and then he can't tie a tie. That's betrayal of the costumer and fraud and it enrages the people! It pushes Germany even further into misery. Come closer, ladies and gentlemen! The gents from the Sturmtruppe are welcome too to participate. Come closer, please ladies and gentlemen so I can go easy on my voice. You see, I didn't insure it because I haven't paid the first deposit yet. Buy my little machine, no assembly required! Buy it! It will save you time and money, it'll save both because time is money! You can't tie a tube around your neck each morning, that's impossible! You need this completely prepared thing. If there is anything that the Dawes Plan didn't take it's your head... and it should tell you that you need this. Well, ladies and gentlemen, buy this, buy! You'll purchase cheap and genuine here. 1 piece 20, 3 pieces 50. Look! It doesn't tear or grind nor break. Don't laugh, ladies and gentlemen, don't laugh. I just wanted to show how unbreakable such a small piece can be. 1 piece 20, 3 pieces 50! Buy this really genuine piece! Buy! How nice that you showed up here! - Wait a moment, I gotta get my stuff. - I'll wait right here. Franz, you'd make a great dad. A man needs a daughter and a son. Why not? Would you mind? You're not getting anywhere. Just wait and see. Others are off much worse with their jobs or locked up in Tegel. What is it, girl? You can sit in a warm and dry place and do whatever you please. I got something for you. What do you have? Nice. - Where did you get all this? - Thrift store. First I wanna know where the clothes are from. You'd rather walk naked than receive a gift from me. You'll bring the stuff back to where it came from. Understand? - So, I might as well just leave! - Yep, you might as well. Where did you get them from? - A girl gave them to me and she... - Watch out. I tell you, watch out. Don't be mad at me, Franz. Well, none of us is an angel. Move, don't stand around. Let's go down to the pub. - What? You really want to go? - Sure, why not? Stop bothering it. You, stop smoking. The air in here is bad enough already. You're crazy. They've never been inside a cage, they don't understand. What about Franz? - He doesn't want the clothes - But I want Biberkopf, I want him! - I won't do it. - If I want Biberkopf I get him! - What do you want with that guy? The weaklings, I have no use for them. Leave that little bird alone already. Herr Biberkopf, my tie came undone. Don't you have one of your patented clip-on ties? You should go to Alexanderplatz, this is no place for trading. Do you wanna go to another pub, Franz? Please? Stay calm. Just wait and see! Buy this really genuine piece! Why does the wealthy man in the west wear a bow and the yobbo doesn't? Ladies and gentlemen! 1 piece 20, 3 pieces 50! Come closer! Guys do you want me to sing the tie song? Maybe Mr Biederkopf will now sing something for us. Alright, alright. What could we sing? Band, what tunes can you play? How about... "Ich hatte einen Kameraden"? Who do you think we are? A new pub for Mr Biberkopf. What's up? The Mister seeks a new pub, this one isn't swell enough. - Get off the table! - Says who? Me! I'll pay for the glasses. Well Biberkopf, there was no need to terrify my customers. Come on Cilly, I know what's going on here. - Let's go this way! - No, we go this way. Come on please, let's go this way. - No! We'll go this way. Come on, let's go! Who's gonna pay for the window? Go check out what's going on. - Why don't you go? - And you call yourself a man! Bello, come here! Come here! Bello, come here! What is going on here? You're crazy! Are you allright? They picked the wrong person for a fight. Let's go Franz, here is your hat. Are you alright? What's going on here, constable? Oh, you don't know either? Acting like a deaf-mute. - What do you want? Franz again? - Franz will be back. - Flowers? - Yes, please. I can't possibly accept this. How do you think how is this gonna work out? - You'll see. - Are you hooking up with him? - You'll see. Even if you break his bones he'll stay the same. You're quite smart. Reinhold, there are so many men. I'll get you ten other guys! I need him! He must cooperate! Leave Franz alone! You're in love with him, aren't you? You don't wanna work for me, huh? - No! - Say that again! Let me go! You two, come here! You're my friend, you saved my life. Here, take my crown. Franz, my dear Franz. Hmm, what's up? I just don't get this. Franz, don't you think we should move somewhere else? - Why? - I got money, I'll borrow you some. Why? I like it here. You sent that guy away and tonight we're stuck. We have a replacement. First-class. Who? - He's a decent man. - You'll see how I'll change his mind. I wanna move, to some suburb. Come in! Cilly, a man is waiting outside for you. Just seeing a tax return paper makes me go crazy. I just don't know. Reinhold lets you know that they need someone tonight, you know the deal. They want Franz to come over. Reinhold sent this paper. He wants you to come over. We'll do that! This stuff bores me. See, Reinhold is a decent guy afterall. It was probably just a wrong impression. - You just go there, I'll join you later. - Allright. Goodbye! - Where are we going? - Pankow. We'll pick up another two guys there. Then we'll do our job. No, I can't do that. Cilly is waiting for me. - She'll come along too. - She's gonna be so mad. Henschke! - Hasn't Reinhold arrived yet? - No, they all drove away. And Biberkopf? - Him too. What? Why are you upset? They just wanted to celebrate, nothing wrong with that. - What is it? I just hope Franz isn't gonna screw this up. Relax, he just needs a kick in the ass. I need a drink now! - Get out! - Couldn't they have waited a few more minutes. Put the cigar away! - Why? - Because I say so! It was a brand-new cigar. You stay here. If you notice something odd, whistle. Whistle? Don't you get it? I gotta get out of here! - Shut up! - I gotta get out! - Who is that? That isn't one of our cars! - Another car! Someone ratted us out! - Seems to be the police. - Police? Get out, rat! He's not gonna rat us out again. - He has learned his lesson. - I told you he's gonna cause trouble! What was that, Karl? A big bump, even for such a bad road. I can't see anything. - Who is there? - Just open up! Took longer than usual. Where is Franz? - What is she doing here? - She even wanted to call the cops. You caused us a lot of trouble with your man Biberkopf. - What happened to Franz? - They snatched him. Who? That can't be true! Shut up! Henschke! We'll leave for a couple of days. I'll let you know where we are. Quiet! You're coming along! Hey Mr Biberkopf, how are you? You've been away for a long time. 3 weeks. Glogg stove? No, look. - I'm not gonna buy that. - It's a bandage anyway. I don't know you. What's your name? Paula. Paula? I don't know anyone named Paula. What's that about? You are ill, Mr Biberkopf. Minor injuries to your head and arm. I need to get out of here! I have work to do! I need to get out! I'll get a doctor. Just a moment. What is going on? What happened to me? Excuse me, we need to get your personal data. You don't mind, do you? You've been run over by a car on May 12th on Eberswalder Straße. You are Biberkopf, Franz. Car accident. You basically ran into the vehicle, right? No no no no no! You're not married nor do you have any children. What a stupid question to ask. Don't say that. My colleague is a good doctor and you'll go and finish your ward round. So, you're a hawker. What are you doing exactly? It's really nice of you to sit here with me, Doc. I wanted to... The others keep asking when the bandages will be taken off of my arm. It will become stiff otherwise, right? You got a strong hand. Squeeze firmly! Good. - You're a real man, Biberkopf. - I am, I am. It was a tragic accident. You had a fractured skull and we couldn't save your arm. Oh, my arm is gone. Th-thank you for letting me know. Well. You don't have such a great job either. You have to walk around telling people those things. Yes, that's just part of the job. Now, you'll be getting up soon. - Tomorrow? - No, a few more days. - But it could work tomorrow. - No no no. But I can't stay here much later or my business is screwed. I need to get up really soon. Begging and music-making verboten the Landlord Miss, could you please get some change out of my pocket? I can't get it myself. Put the rest back. What's going on here? You should hang a sign around your neck saying "fully blinded". Otherwise nobody will notice. Stop interrupting my business. Teach the man some manners! I'll see you later. Märchenbrunnen, Friedrichshain. There you are! What are you gonna do with the barrel organ? - Were you a soldier during the war? - Of course! - What is your name? - Biberkopf, Franz. - I'm Sonja. - Are you from Poland? No, Bernau. But then your name wouldn't be Sonja. It is based on my appearance. - Are you allright? - Yes, sort of. - You're not getting any pension, huh? - Sometimes I get some, but not regularly. Will you take me along? No, I'd better not. What's the matter? I'll take you along. But your name is not Sonja at my place. Your name will be... Mieze. - Ok, Mieze. - So, how are you, Mieze? - You! You! - What the hell is going on? Biberkopf is back. Asked about you. Who? Biberkopf? Shouldn't you bunk quickly? No. Why? What does he want? - Hello Karl. - Hello. The left one. Comes from the heart. How are you? So far so good. I've just been released from the hospital. It was a matter of life and death. I wanted to pay you guys a visit and see if everything is ok. Yes, everything is fine. Glad to hear that. No-one else around? Nah. - Bye then. - Bye. Cilly asked about you a couple of times. She changed since she found a gentleman from the west. Wonderful. Goodbye. Do you get him? Hello? Who am I talking to? No, I don't understand you. Oh, it's you Henschke! What? Franz? Yes, he was here! What did he look like? Proper and hale! He will return. Good. Yes, thank you. He's looking for Reinhold. Let's follow him! You stay here. Stick 'em up! Stick 'em up! I only got one left. What are you doing here? Put that away! What do you want from me? I wanna bury the hatchet. I won't fall for that, silly. The arm is gone, otherwise I'm fine. What else? Nothing else. - I wanna know what you want from me! - I just wanna bury the hatchet. You probably won't believe me. The arm is gone, it's not gonna grow again. And now I'm here. - So you want money from me? - Money? Earn it, yes. Together with you guys I wanna earn money. Work together. I thought it would work out in a more respectable way but I've been a fool. Now, I'm here. What am I supposed to do? Play a barrel organ? No, I'd rather be a thief. I did the best I could. But that is over, forever. Even if I lose my head now. - So that's your new attitude? - No no no no! I did the best I could! Now I'm here and I will stay! Now you can think about it. - What are you doing here? - Franz, come home please! What happened to you? - What happened to you? - None of your business! It's gonna be allright. Do you really think so? I've been starving and freezing and it all turned out just fine. You are Mieze. I used to be Franz's girlfriend. I'm Cilly. I really know nothing about Franz. You look very pretty. - What do you wanna know? - Everything! No way. A guy with just one arm. We should buy him a barrel organ and give him 2 Mark. We gotta take care of him! What use is a one-armed man to us? What use is a headless man to us? - Why? - Because he's starting to make sense. He just wants to spy on us! I know what he wants. I'll test him and take responsibility for his actions. Mieze, you gotta look after him! They treat him like dirt. I'll go and work for him, even if it means playing a barrel organ! I know those guys quite well. You gotta watch out that they won't be a bad influence on him. Understand? Tomorrow evening, right? And Biberkopf is really gonna be with us? Sure! What's wrong with that? One bale of cheviot 75-02. Half a bale of worsted 75-64 One bale of cheviot 75-66 How many bales are missing? Half a bale of worsted 75-69 Half a bale of worsted 75-98 Just yesterday my wife said to me that this door was unbreakable. And they came through the roof! They took excellent english goods! Well, you sirs show no patriotism. Fine english fabrics! Fine english fabrics, Mr Biberkopf! I'd rather hope so! I could never fool myself. Stop tickling me! I'll have someone pick my rags up later. Mieze! Look! Be astonished! - You look very fine! - Look at me! Clothes make the man! - Now it's your turn! - No no no! Oh come on! Business is going well so we can afford decent clothes, can't we? - You'll get your money! Goodbye. - I hope so. Goodbye Mr Biberkopf. 2 bottles of sparkling wine! Where is the party? - Knew it! - Just some "celebrities". No, I already told you I won't come along. I'm not dressed accordingly. It's your choice. Guys like us, looking fine. I'm not gonna let Franz walk all over me. Just watch out for him, he might cause trouble for us with his money-spending habit He's an amateur! He just wants to show off. Give me 30 of that! How much is it? - 15 Mark. - 15... Here, 20 for you. Keep the change. Give me something to drink, I'm quite thirsty. Life is just wonderful! Ah, Reinhold! Let me introduce you: this is my friend Casanova from Casanova. Make room for him! Meet these 3 beauties from Pankow. Move over, I wanna talk to my friend. Reinhold, it's always a pleasure to see you. No you gotta put him on a radiotor to warm him up. What's the matter with you? Don't get mad at them. Go away, children, go! I tell you, women are trouble. But at home, I have a wonderful one. A gem! Then why don't you bring her along? You better leave the woman you love at home. They're just too curious. Now what? They do nothing but steal and cheat, these criminals! - Criminals? - And Franz is starting to scare me too. Franz? He was in jail already. Tegel. 4 years. Prison! Yes, even Franz. I tell you, she's lovely. Faithful. - The menu? - Lemonade, please. You and your lemonade. You gotta start drinking this, sparkling wine! And you'll see the world with different eyes. Gosh, they're even playing my favorite song now! We will now announce the winners of our contest for the 3 best bathing suits. First prize, to Miss Klawitter Bordonner, dinnerware! Second prize, to Miss Hanni Benke, a crystall cup weighing 2 1/2 pounds! Third prize, to Miss Schulz, a handbag! Mieze, there is something else I gotta tell you: Watch out for Reinhold! - Reinhold? - Yes! Reinhold is very dangerous. - Reinhold? Allright, I'll get him! Mieze, just wait for a bit. It's cold outside and you'd be freezing. Here, I'll lend you my fur. She did a good job, didn't she? You really gotta see how soft she is. And so faithful. You'd get the same at the pub. Stop talking about that pub. Here she comes. Go hide and keep quiet! Stop Mieze, stop! Promise that you won't look behind that curtain! I promise... I promise. I promise that I won't look behind that curtain. - Yes. There you go. I guess you brought something along, right? Stop giving me presents! What's wrong with that? Why not? We have everything we need. I have a dress, you have your clothes. What would we need more things for? Because it's nice. - What? - Franz, I wanna tell you something. Go ahead! I want to wear my old dress! Blimey! We'll look for work, even if it's on a yard. Why? Why? Where did you get that fur from? I met an old friend. - He told you things about me, huh? - No. - But you let him give you a fur! - Yes! And I can't? I can't give you anything? Franz, let us wear our old clothes and... - What else happened? - Nothing! Where did you first meet him? On the streets? And I drive around, risking my life! You're a whore! Leave me alone! You whore! I risk my life and work so hard! Get out of my apartment! Leave me alone! Open the door! It's my apartment! Out! Get out of here! But I saved your life! Get out! Scoundrel! Get out! Out! Yes, she's so soft and faithful! I was on the verge of killing you. Just like Ida. I wanna be a decent man but it's so hard. We just remain in the gutter. I'm going to drive to the countryside, I can't stand it here anymore. We still have a lot to do out there, in Weißensee. Revenge. Ede and Biberkopf gotta come along. - So, you're taking Franz with you? - Yes. - How long will you be gone? - At least till nighttime. Nice. Hello Miss. I just wanted to deliver you a message from our friend Biberkopf: He'll be home late. Did he order you to do that? Not exactly. But I thought I might as well just see you and settle over what happened last night. - Just what do you want? - I already told you. And there is nothing wrong visiting a beautiful young lady. Nothing wrong with that? It's a nice day and we will drive a bit around. - Franz will join us! - Franz? Yes! He'll meet us in the evening. You know that we are friends. Allright. It's an opportunity to have a talk with you, about Franz. - Fine. - Where is he? Freienwalde, Plumber-Karl is helping us out. You wanted to tell me about Franz. You've known him for quite a while. I could talk for hours. Great guy. - A little weak but... - Last night he cried in the hallway. - What? - He doesn't wanna go on like this. - He is no criminal! - So, he's starting to act like that again? Not him, me! You darling? Ah well. Kiss me! Kiss! What a fine girl you are. Just how I like it. He's hanging around with scum like you! Shame on you! Yeah, I'm ashamed of myself! - Let me go! I can't breathe! - Feel free, there is plenty of air! You think you can just run away and ashame me in front of my friends later tonight? Reinhold said Kiss me, follow my order! Let me go! I'll take anything I can find and throw it in your face! You know how Franz lost his arm? He behaved just like you, unwilling to comply with my rules! So I grabbed him like this and threw him outta the car! Killer! Killer! Killer! Help! - Go! - What happened to you? Where is Mieze? Why was she screaming? She isn't screaming anymore. Now go! She ran away. There is nothing I can do. She left all her stuff behind. - Did you hit her? - Ah whatever. She's right. I'm not good enough for her. - Suddenly. - Yes. - I know who she ran away with. - Who? Some guy she's known for a while. They met on the street. He even gave her a fur. - A fur? - Yes. Yu-lu Heroes do not shed tears easily... Only if they are not heart-broken Who might you be? Your eyes must be bad We met at Kaifeng 3 years ago, Knight Fan! May I ask your revered name? Chang Wu-ch-l've sought you two months Something I can do for you? Teach me the 18 falls of the lmmortals We've been friends-why be enemies? Come-let's get a drink! No, now that I've found you... I want to see which of us is the best Please give me the honor, Knight Fan! Come on-let's have a drink first Your drinking days are about over What do you mean? Have you heard of the killer Chou Lien-chan? Chou Lien-chan No, and I have no quarrel with him He's chief disciple of Tiger Yeh You killed Tiger Yeh, and he'll come for you! It's been 30 years-why bring that up? Show me your stuff before you die En garde, Knight Fan You're playing this for real! I wouldn't joke about it! My wine Stay away from my good wine This 18 falls of the Drunken Immortals! I admit defeat, Knight Fan Great work! Can we have a drink now? Knight Fan Knight Fan Knight Fan Knight Fan Here's a letter for you, Knight Fan! Nightsweet Premium Wine Big Cup Fan? Beggar Su? Nightsweet Premium! Let's go steal some "crystal" grapes How long has this wine been fermented? Thirty years, at least Master Chang What is it, Ah-fang? The boss is waiting for you in the vineyard Okay, you go on, I'll be right there I go first... Okay! This is the best harvest ever! Ah-fang, you devil! Stop crashing around! What're you in such a rush for you idiot? I'm racing with Master Chang I left that old fellow 80 feet behind! Eighty feet behind? Who...who's that? Somebody's stolen the grapes! Yes...for the third time already! Can we still make Night-sweet Premium? They really know their stuff, to steal here Come! A thousand coppers a string! Come! Crystal grapes! Real crystal grapes! A rare chance! A thousand coppers a string! Crystal grapes, come... Come on! Taste them-real crystal grapes! You can only get them here! Real crystal grapes Only here... Taste them Taste them-only 1 ,000 coppers a string! Have a taste, everybody! Eight hundred coppers-800 a string! Real crystal grapes, 800 a string! Six hundred a string! Get them here! Wait a minute, sir-500 coppers! Four hundred-just 400 a string! Just 400 coppers a string! Damn it! Three hundred! Two hundred! I'm generous today! Now I'm mad! One hundred a string! A hundred coppers! ? Not even a hundred! Take them free! Don't leave! Don't go! They're free! They're all free! They don't cost a cent! Come here and have some! Come on-eat as much as you like! Bastard! What? Why are you ruining my business? You're trying to take my business away? What do you want to do? Me? To beat you! You'd beat someone! ? What a hard bean curd! Bean curd! ? Don't forget this! I'll give you a ghost charm isn't it pretty? I'll give you another leg I'll give you two fists Watch my "old man pushing a cart"! I'll beat you! I'll do the beating! I'll kill you! Where'd you come from? I... He... Where'd your crystal grapes come from? Speak up! Picked! I picked them! Nonsense! Sure they didn't fall from the sky? Speak up! Where'd you pick them? At... At South... At the South-hill plot? Nanking's 18 mounts, fleet horse on the road A boat sailing before the wind carried it over with great difficulty! How about you? So far! Monkey somersaulted 18,000 miles I took the grapes and lifted my heels and walked 109,200 miles! I still think you got them from South-hill! I'm warning you two Those grapes belong to Clearwater Winery! What! ? You accuse me of stealing them! ? I didn't say that! Do you mean me, then! ? I didn't say that, either! I'll fix you, if you call me a thief! I won't let you off, either! What are you doing? Beat you for calling us thieves! Don't run! Stop! You again! ? Fate brings us together, from however far I bet your 109,200 miles are right here! Right beside your Nanking's 18 mounds! Oh no-here comes Mr. Ugly! A basket of grapes isn't worth this! Two heads think better than one Let's talk this thing over! Yes, we walk on two legs We can't let a quadruped best us! The loser will lead the dog away Tiger! Snake! Dragon! Mantis! Crane! My crane will eat your mantis! If a man's unlucky, he'll see ghosts in the sun? Pick a little more! Can I ask your name! It's Fan-Big-cup Fan! Now we know your name, if you're killed we can set up a spirit tablet for you! I'm leaving, then Dame it! This string will have to be paid for! Who are you? The bill collector! Bill collector Whose bill are you collecting? You almost cost me my livelihood How could I not settle accounts with you? What do you mean by that! ? You picked 28 strings of my grapes tonight! Each string contains 1 1 3 grapes making a total of 3,164 grapes in all That means you owe 253, 700 coppers I won't take anymore or any less Pay and go or I'll take your eyes... to ferment into my Night-sweet Premium Wine Trying to run away! Move another inch, and instead of hat... I'll have your eyeballs in my hand Want to run! ? Help! Help! Don't shout-l've been hanging here all day What a ridiculous way to fail, Brother We're hung on the tip of a straw! What damned rotten luck! Hey! You two were stealing my grapes together! I have a mother 80 years old and 20-some dependents waiting to eat Please find forgiveness in your heart! Then from now on work to pay your debts Put the two packages there Okay Pile them a little higher! Hurry! Lazy bones Faster! Faster! Hurry-step on it Step on it... Harder! Step on it... Harder! Get on up there None of your business! I can't support it anymore, Brother! This old boy wants to starve us to death Who asked us to steal grapes? Oh grapes, our fate is to starve! Steamed cornbread! Come back! Don't fight anymore Bring it here! Don't fight anymore Mine! Mine! It's mine! Catch! Where'd it go? Where? Still want to run? Bring it here! Give it back This mine lt's mine. This sun is truly essence of sun and moon! Even with little talent, it'll burn out! They're fighting over cornbread, Master! Where'd it come from? It fell from heaven! Give it back! It's mine One piece each! Eat slowly-don't choke on it Anymore? Let's have another one! Thanks...you're truly my savior! Anymore? Let's have another one! Catch! Catch! It's a mud ball! Bringing it 1 ,000 miles is nothing! One side, one side! Let's go, let's go Attention! Pay the fees today No trickery! No lagging! It's your bad luck! These two will be your example Weren't the fees collected two days ago? Not so loud! You tired of living? Let's go! Stop! Turn over the money I only took in this much all day! How can I? So what! ? Come on, come on Turn over the money Bring it here! I've paid the fee everyday, Master But business was bad today Please be patient! Don't think you can put it off! Stop! You bastards You drink the people's blood! Let's see how fast you can kill me! Beat him! You bully as too much! Well, go teach them a lesson! Okay! Use this Okay What are you doing? Let us borrow this for a minute! Stop! What are you doing? Go after you've paid the fees! Fees? What fees? I don't have any money! I have a life, though! That's enough! I'll see how hard your bones are! Go quickly! Why pretend to be tough man? They were being bullied too terribly! It doesn't show, but you have some humanity You may actually be worth something! Just so yu know our hearts Don't make so much trouble for us Learn a little kung-fu and we won't! Learn kung-fu! ? The 18 falls of the Drunken Immortals! The 18 falls of the Drunken Immortals! You'll know when you learn it well Who'll teach us kung-fu? Kowtow to the master Get up! To learn kung-fu, you must suffer! You're putting me on! I learned from Master! You've got a long way to go! It's fixed Come here Head down, head up, head down Head up What a difference between master and student! Idiot! Two nuts! He fights with sleeping kung-fu! Find Master Chang! Hurry! Stuffing off again! You've become an alcoholic! A drink! Whoever gets Nightsweet Premium, drinks it I brought you here to ferment wine not to drink it! Understand! ? Drinking a bit gives you power! Nonsense! Don't make excuses! Bull! You just won't believe it! I don't care-next time I catch you drinking I'll have Dad chase you off! Master's "eagle claw" kung-fu is powerful Take a good lesson for us Spoken well! Please teach us a stance or two, Master! Attack me all together! Excuse me, Master! Want to run? Speak-why do you want to assassinate me? You left us no other way out! So, we just try it Die! It's not up to you Turn them over to Lord Chao tomorrow I'll kill whoever resists! Really? It's a secret that I learned about Chang Seventh of th winery knows it too? Those two guys who smashed us last time... They must been sent by Chang Seventh! We've surely created a deep enmity! I talked to a winery worker... They said Chang Seventh loves to drink... and then practice Drunken Immortals fighting Lately, he's taken in two disciples and taught them kung-fu They're not bad, I hear! Okay-find a way to get him here! We'll try him, and kill him if necessary This jade nine-dragon cup is our heirloom Emperor Chien Lung liked it very much Very nice How nice for a common fellow to use it! Come on-bottoms up! Please have some tea, sir A toast to you! Fine, fine... We'll drink until we're drunk! Right-have some more! Some more! No, no-that's dangerous! It's best not to drink too much Come on, have a drink! Have a drink! No, no... You've had a lot-l'll help you inside Who says I'm drunk? I'm no drunk! What's this? Playing for keeps? Right-l wasn't your life for keeps Oh, no. Master's falling-down drunk! Don't stay here We've got to find a way to save him! Can we do it? Yes-with this! Let's go, Master! Let's go Now you've offended Master Yeh! Do you understand! ? This is his land, and the lease is up! To be able to keep doing business here I flatter him when I can Now you've made trouble for me get out! Get out! Out! Didn't you hear me? Out! Yes-out! Out! Go, or I'll lie you up and send you to Mr.Yeh to be beaten! Best beat you to death to save trouble! I told you so many times not to bother him! It just goes in one ear and out the other! Just pick up your wages and get out! Yu-lu! Here's 30 dumplings for the road Please talk to Boss. We can't leave! Why not? We stayed here for someone That's right! You'll just waste your time by staying No-where there's a will, there's a way! I won't ever agree! What? You won't let us study kung-fu? You mean you stayed for Master Chang? Would we stay for you! ? You two have no conscience at all! Yu-lu... Yu-lu... Are you angry with me? I know I said something wrong... but I didn't mean to hurt you Don't cry anymore, okay? I'm apologizing to you, Yu-lu! Look at me! I swear I won't say it again! Ta-pei Where are you, Ta-pei? Ta-pei Out of the way! Out of the way! What are you doing? Any orders, Brother Chin? Where's the old fellow called Chang Seventh? He went to gather some wine-making materials He stole our master's nine-dragon jade cup lf you can't find him by tomorrow Then just move this winery out of here! Yes-please report to the master that I want to keep renting this place The rental's up 30 per cent About the nine-dragon cup... I'll surely make him to give me back! Stop! What are you doing? come to give back the nine-dragon jade cup give back the nine-dragon's jade cup? Give way, be quick! Bastard, you dare come to start trouble? The cup's broken! Report it to Master! What! ? The nine-dragon jade cup is broken? I deserve death! Where are they? Go tear down the winery! Bring Chang Seventh in, dead or alive! Right! Hello, Brother Chin! You have some more orders? Get Chang Seventh out there! Your timing's bad-he's on the mountain! Search the place! What're you doing, Brother Chin? He really isn't here! Mr. Wang, Master wants to build a house here You'll have to move out! Come here! Here! Tear down the winery! Tear it down! Tear it down! What are you doing! ? You've got to let me explain! Brother Chin Brother Chin Please! I beg you! Don't ... Father! Why did they hit you, Father? Why'd they beat you this way! ? Father! I'll make you pay for this! Let me go! Let me go! Father! Let go! Miss... Father! I'll make you pay for this! Father! Father! Ah-fang! Let me go! Don't beat him anymore! Father! Father! Father... Father... Come a little closer! A little higher Chang Seventh, the winery's master Why did you kill them, Tiger Yeh! ? Why did you so cruel? Old Mr. Wang was good to you I'll teach you the meaning of faithlessness! Come here! Yes! Take this girl back! Seventh Uncle! Seventh Uncle! Let me go! Seventh Uncle! Where's master? Where's Yu-lu? Master! Master! Master! Master! Ah-fang! Oh, no-we're too late! Let's go to Tiger Yeh's house Let's go You let me go! Let me go Brother Fan! Brother Su! You let me go! Yu-lu! Where's Seventh Uncle, Yu-lu? Where? What about the Nightsweet Premium, Master? Go quickly! Which way should we go, Master? There! This is the Mount Eight Immortals. I often gather medicine there! There's a cave where we can hide there Let's go in! Tiger Yeh won't find us for a while there Master! Master! Seventh Uncle Let's go in. Get some dragon-gall grass to cure my wound with Go on! Go on! Rest a while and you'll be okay, Uncle Look, Big-cup! Shoot it with your coin and my tiger tooth! Wake up, Seventh Uncle I'm thirsty, Yu-lu-get me some water I'll worry about you here alone I'll be okay-go on, and hurry back! I know there's a cave up there They're in there for sure! Divide in two groups and surround them! Okay! Let's go! Seventh Uncle! I knew you'd pass by here Enemies are bound to meet I've already chosen this place To be our grave! This fine White Cloud Mountain Master arranged it all His purpose in having us come in was to learn this kung-fu well! I think his arrangements will be right! Let's go ask Master Right! Let's go! Yu-lu! Master... Master... Where's Yu-lu? Yu-lu... Take care of her well Hurry up! Take care of Tiger Yeh! Hurry up and take care of him Master... Arhat lies in wait for the tiger Phoenix spreads its wings Wu Sung passes over the hill Fish passes through the dragon gate Chung-li falls right and left with his fan The silver mat is rolled in a circle Wu Sung passes the hill again Cloud hands, both feet flying Grab the tiger's head and choke it Phoenix on a hill faces the sun Gold hook lowers the shade Li Po falls from his horse... His head strikes the ground Ride the tiger and hit the three fatal points Master... Yu-lu... Thirty years have passed since that parting During these 30 years You've been in the south, I am in the north Making kung-fu friends, fighting for the right They call us "Southern Cup, Northern Jug" But others don't know why we drink so much We drink for sorrow, and for women The hardest thing to forget is "love" Drink up, and taste this cornbread You're... Don't you remember me? I'll hold up the sky if it falls! I'll support the mountain, if it collapses! Yu-lu, I'll do what you say! Just nod to me Just nod, and I'll do what you say, Yu-lu! Look at me! Me! You get to one side You... What's happened to you? Both of you get to one side! Who could make such good Nightsweet wine except Wang Yu-lu of Clearwater Winery? You... You...aren't you already... Didn't you fall over a cliff! ? Yes-into the water, and someone saved me lt's a long story-let's have a drink I never expected to see you again! Really? Didn't you write and invite me? Write! ? I didn't write But I got a letter inviting me here! I invited you here 30 years... Father and Uncle died 30 years ago today... I want you to sacrifice to their souls Don't be sad, Yu-lu! Don't cry, Yu-lu You dad's gone, but I'm still here Master's gone, but I'm left lf heaven falls, I'll hold it up lf the mountain collapses, I'll support it Just nod, and I'll do what you say Just nod, and I'll do what you say You go too far-l'm not playing games! I swear to Heaven! If I tell lies, I will die. Okay-l'll kill you then Raise a cup to woman kind! Drink to cover many sorrows A hero cries only for a true reason But it isn't time for heartbreak yet! Stop beating! Stop beating! You know him, Beggar? Never seen him before Could he be Chou Lien-Chan? Who? You're so old you can't hear Was that man looking for you, Ta-pei? Don't guess you want to go drinking? Wandering around, looking for friends... Seeking the land of wine, all for a woman... I'm from north of the pass, Fan Ta-Pei! Wait for me to come back, Yu-lu! Ta-pei! What do you want to do? I'll have a drink with him, and come back Of course, your Nightsweet Premium is the best! Don't believe him-he won't be back! I am Chou Tien-pa, not Lien-chou. I have to get instruction of your 18 falls fist. Beggar'll definitely not escape the challenge You are not Chien She-chun? All the same, let me subject you first Chou Tien-pa, you can't do that I'm the Killer of Thousands! I don't want to fight you We don't always get what we want! It's best not to make enemies En garde! Wu Sung beats tiger with more-than-half drunk The 8 fairies terry across with 3 cups of wine 3 cups wine Kuai Fai gets drunk and cuddles the king The king plays drunken Fist to dolly his concubine. The beggar likes wine and will not get drunk Ta-pei's capacity of wine exceeds King of Sea Yu-lu! Yu-lu! Yu-lu! Beggar! Where's he? Yu-lu! Beggar! Yu-lu! Beggar! Yu-lu! Beggar! Where are you hurt? Yu-lu! Beggar! North and South Cup combat constantly, hard to withdraw the next life, may our hearts be reunited Yu-lu! Yu-lu! Yu-lu! Eurgh. Let me see, let me see. Ah, the groaning board, the teeming table, the endless variety of God's bounty. Cheffing is a truly perfect art, far above mere painting or sculpture. You can't eat a sheet of canvas or a lump of rock. I don't know. You could if you were drunk and had enough ketchup. - Morning, Richie. - Do my senses deceive me? Has Eddie Catflap emerged from the arms of Morpheus or perhaps an elephant has blown off? No. Right first time. It is I, smelly Eddie. To whiff him is to love him. Ready for anything, as long as it's alcoholic. - Morning, Richie. - Where's my shopping list? Gas mask. Now then, shall we have seven courses or eight? Don't want do look ostentatious. But don't want to look like a bloody pauper. Better make it 12. We could be like the Romans and throw up between courses. Why should they get the credit for that idea? I've been doing it for years. Morning, Richie. Twelve gas masks, clothes peg for nose, smelling salts and a ticket to Australia to get away from Eddie's whiff. - I said, morning, Richie! - Ah! I got you, then, didn't I? I got you. Morning, Eddie. I trust you slept well? Fantastic. A truly great sleep. On the scale of one to five - 5,429,562. Sleeping face down in the toilet is conducive to restful slumber? And why shouldn't I sleep in the lavatory? You wet the bed. Once. I had a nightmare that I was ordinary and untalented and there was a momentary aberration. It's a sign of an extra-vivid subconscious. It's a sign of an extra-drippy tiddler. Eddie, I was having a nightmare that I was a pleb. It was a horrifying experience. I remember the night so well. I awoke to hear Richie screaming into the middle of the night. "Ah. " His heart-rending sobs echoing round the house. Why, you wept like a soul in torment. I rushed in to find poor, frightened Richie shivering, terrified, white, sitting in a puddle. - Yes, and what did you do? - I don't remember. You switched on my electric blanket. Only to take your mind off the nightmare. You completely electrocuted my love truncheon. Love truncheon? Love pencil, more like. Well, love pin, actually. Eddie, what's this? - I don't know. - It's one of my scary looks. Is it really? My intimidating frown. So you just watch out. Has the hair grown back yet? Your love blobs looked like Yul Brynner snogging Kojak. I'm not prepared to rise to it. Your spite and venom offends me not. - Baldy blobs. - Right, that's it. That is it. I hope you've got a good lawyer, because I am suing and you're going to prison forever. Hello, Filthy? Yeah, it's Richie here. I wanna sue Eddie. Richie Rich. Your client. I'm five foot ten, brown hair... Look, it's not important. My minder, Edward, says that I've got bald love blobs and I want to sue. Have I? Well, they're not so much bald as receding. I'd put a wig on them for the trial. Bloodsucker, what do I pay you for? I know I don't, it was a rhetorical question. Goodbye forever! He was furious. But I persuaded him to give you a chance. Shut up and tell me why you are wearing a hat that makes you look like you've got a toilet roll on your head. Because, Eddie, I have taken up the skillet and the frying pan. I've been studying cookery all morning and I am now a master chef. - That's why I'm wearing this great hat. - You look like a chicken drumstick. Ha ha! Wrong again because, actually, I look great. - We are having a dinner party. - Oh-hoo. Eight for 8:30. The food, the fine wine, the... the little chocolatey, minty thingies. - Who's coming? - Some close personal friends. Oh, dear. The man from the dirty mag shop and wino Bill. Again. You really are insanely jealous, aren't you, Edward? I keep forgetting you're not in the biz, are you? The huge galaxy of showbiz stars are all brothers and sisters to me. Tarby, for instance, is bound to accept. Especially after the brilliant invitations I sent out. "The years and the tears. "Celebrate Richie Rich's ten fabulous years of success. " How sad. From third dummy on Are You Being Served? To his very own carpet ad. I am not sitting at the same table as Tarby and that's that. No, Eddie, no, no. We're talking about Jimmy Tarbuck. The cheeky chap from the 'pool. Everybody's pal. The gap-toothed Scouser with a twinkle and a smile for every Englishman. Look, if there's one thing I hate in British entertainment more than you, it's that vast army of ex-stand-up comics who did one half-funny gag on Sunday Night At The London Palladium and have made a fortune doing game shows ever since. "Oh, good evening, and your name is Cynthia "and you'd like me to patronise and humiliate you "on the off chance of winning a teasmade. " Cheeky chappies? Complete and utter bastards, if you ask me. Well, I don't think anyone will be asking you, will they? Tarby is just a simple jester. An honest broker from the bank of smiles. I was only saying so to Marti Caine, before her last trip to South Africa. So keep your embittered, communistic treason to yourself during tonight's intercourse with Tarby and friends. I am not having intercourse with Tarby and that's final. What a surprise! Four minutes into the episode and he delivers the most tortuous double entendre ever. It was a great gag. - Social intercourse, Eddie, social. - Oh, phew. We shall talk about subjects far above your head. Poetry, fine art, golf. That reminds me, I must bone up on Tarby's book of golfing anecdotes. They are the greatest work of Eng lit since Dick. - Oo-er. - Dick-ens, Eddie. Dick-ens. Oo-er. There's only one thing I hate more than golfing anecdotes and it's this. It's a close run thing, though. Ha ha ha ha ha! This is brilliant stuff, it's classic, classic, classic. Well done, Tarby. Oh. Oh, listen to this one. Listen, listen, listen. Shut up. "Lynchy and I had taken time off and flown to Spain "with Greavsie and Parky and Tom O'Connory - "to play golf with Lesie. " - Lesie? - Yeah. - Playing golf with lesbians. Fantastic. Do you think Tarbuck's a feminist, then? Lesie Crowthery, Eddie, Lesie Crowthery. Just another one of the great guys that make up my showbiz gang that I belong to and you don't. Now, shut up, I'm telling you the great anecdote. - "Lynchy lined up to tee off. " - I wish you'd tee off and let me smoke my fags in peace. "Lynchy lined up to tee off and said to me, "'Gosh, Tarbo, we swigged so much pop last night, "'being great guys together and such great big showbiz mates, "'that I bet I miss this next shot. ' "And blow me down but he did. He missed it. " Oh, oh, oh. Ha ha ha ha. Oh, ha ha! Oh, touché, Tarby. Oh, that was brilliant. No, the same thing has happened to me fumfty times. We-hell. I can see it's gonna be a scintillating evening with everyone cracking brillo gags like that one. Yeah. Hey. Maybe there's a series in it. Dinner At Richie's. An ultra-sophis chat show. Good evening. This is the BBC. Tonight, Sir Richie Rich will be talking to the Queen, the Pope and, of course, the Tarby. It'd be a disaster. You'd get drunk and make a pass at the Pope for wearing a dress. Bloody good telly though. So, what incredible 12 courses will you cook for your fantastically amiable showbiz chums? Well, we must play to our strengths, must not overreach ourselves. - Right. - Er... How does 12 boiled eggs sound? Er, usually like this... Nice gag, Eddie, and totally unexpected. Perhaps a little sophisticated for BBC2, though. I can just see it now. "How's the golf going, Tarbs?" "Oh, really?" "Do you wanna hear a stupid joke about an Irishman being stupid?" - Can't wait. - What do you suggest, then? You're supposed to be my friend, you freeloading parasite. Smelly Eddie to the rescue. When I was watching TV-am in the lav this morning, I saw this fantast ad for a new mag called Poncy Cooking. And when you buy part one, you get part two completely free. That sounds like a marvellous offer and one not to be missed. Actually, it's a clumsy setup for a gag later on. - Oh, what a shame. - Yes. - Let's go to the newsagent's. - Okey-dokey, diddly squat. Over we go. Don't ever say I'm not there when I'm not needed. You're not there when you're not needed. Thank you. - Ready, Eddie? - Ready-weddy. - Let's go. - Right, then. Blimey, the newsagent's is closer now we're in a smaller studio. Shut up. You're spoiling the magic for everyone. Oh. Oh, look, the newsagent. Hello, me old darling. Yep, it's me, Richie Rich. Don't faint. Treasure the moment. Here's a pic. Put it in your box of precious things. I don't understand what you're talking about. Oh, yes. Oh, yes, I'm sure. One of the cool type, are we? Gonna boast to your friends? "I met Richie Rich and pretended not to recognise him. Hee hee. " What a sad little life you must lead. Are you mad? - Perhaps a little zany, yes. - Excuse me. Do you have part one of Poncy Cooking with part two free? - Certainly. One pound, please. - Aha. I'm afraid I have no money so I'll just take part two for nothing, shall I? - You stupid slag! Come on, Richie. - One pound, please. Er, hurr... I'll give you a mensh on me next programme. - I shall call the police. - No, cos your part's over. The end of your scene. Back to the dole for you. Five lines, thank you and good night. Well, I must say, this looks very interesting. She's crying, you know. That, Eddie, is the biz. It's a tough life. It's a tough life, dearie. I mean, look at Arthur Mullard. She used to be quite attractive. - I still quite fancy her. - Yeah, hur-uhh. Well, I must say. This is very interesting. Must learn to read sometime. Right. Sod all this health food. When I eat, I like to dice with a heart attack. Let's have a good English roast and a coronary thrombosis. - Right. Let's make a shopping list. - Yeah. Four hundred pounds of oven chips. Right, that seems simple enough. Better check the larder. Waste not, want not. - Remember the poor children. - Oh, the little poor children. Yes. With their cosy little terrace dwellings. - A roaring fire. - Bread, cheese. - Dripping. - Add a little love, makes a meal fit for a king. I think they're happier being poor. Yes, or perhaps not. Oh, well, who gives a toss anyway? Let's check what's in the larder. Any food? Erm, only a couple of dirty mags. Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm sure there's a reason why we shouldn't be doing this but I can't put my finger on it. Don't overtax your tiny mind. It's concentrating on breathing. Shut up, the cheque's in the post. Yeah, whose show is this anyway? I'm the famous one, love. Come, let us go to the supermarket. Right. What a rotten shop. There's never anything you want to buy. For example... "Cruizos. Bite-sized cruise-missile shaped lumps of potato flavoured snack. "Warning-will give you cancer. " Everything gives you cancer these days. You can't blow off without being told it's carcinogenic. - In my case, it probably is. - Probably. - Careful, you'll get grabbed by the dick. - Oo-er. We mean get arrested by the store detective. It was just a pun. We have every intention of paying for this item. Ooh, Eddie, it'd be funny if somebody knocked that lot down. Not particularly, no. I'm disappointed myself. Come, Eddie, for fruit. It is the absolute sophis thing to offer fruit after the meal. So refreshing and it comes in handy for the sex games. No, not this. Look, ridiculous. Oh, this is disgusting. All this fruit is crushed and bruised. I shall write to Esther Rantzen. - Ah, the meat, Eddie. - Ha. Load up the trolley. They'll have been playing golf - so they'll be ready for hearty vitals. - Look at this little lamb chop. It was probably once a pig, gambolling in the mountains. Yeah. Doingy, doingy, doing. I could quite fancy myself as a farmer. Well, it's a good job you do fancy yourself cos I can't see that anyone else is going to do it. Eddie, do you see this frozen chicken? Er, yes. Oh, urh. Frozen tackle might teach you not to cheek me. Richie Rich, do you see this frozen chicken? - No. - I think you do. Ha ha. Touché, Eddie. Come on, let's go and pay for the stuff. I've remembered why we shouldn't be here. - We have no cash. - Eddie, I am a celebrity. Celebrities don't need money. - Next. - Ha ha ha. Boo! Hello, love. It's me, Richie Rich. A-ha! It's just cancer crunch and a trolley of meat. I'll give you a mensh on my next prog. £200, please. My dear girl, you don't seem to understand. I, Richie Rich, am offering you, nobody, a mensh on my next prog. - Right. This requires subtle handling. - £200, please. How does it feel to be a checkout girl who's reached the peak of your potential? How does it feel to know that you're a talentless git who never even had any potential? - I see. - £200, please. Uh. Stitch that. I think you're on there. I know a come-on when I see it. This is ridiculous. Somebody here tell donkey face who I am. We don't know. Who are you? You jest. You jape. I am one of Britain's top comic talents. - Say something funny, then. - Yeah. If you're so funny, why don't you say something funny? Go on, say something funny. All right, then, I will, I will. Erm... Plop. - Oh, dear. - Damn. Mistimed it. I'll have to get the manager. Mr Forsyth! Listen, bitch, I was once continuity link man on TVS. I don't see why I should have to pay for my food. Listen, dickhead-no money, no food. Ah. Ooh. You're the sort of girl I could fall in love with. However, no time, because Richie? - Yes? - Run! - I meant through the door. - Oh, sorry. I thought they'd never give up. Mr Forsyth had some stamina. Safe and sound now and time to get on with my wonderful dinner party. That's what you think. But I have been thinking. Well, well, well, wonders will never cease. Eddie Catflap's been thinking. Put out some bunting. Organise a street party. Let off some fireworks. Telephone the Queen. Give everyone a week's holiday. The man with no brain's been thinking. Everybody go to the lavatory in amazement. You don't know how you wound, Richie, you really don't. However, no matter, because you will soon be in pris. - Pris? - Pris-on. You have aided and abetted a robbery in front of Mr Forsyth and 50 mad checkout girls. I am all right. I was just the mysteriously handsome bloke in the huge trousers who vanished without a trace. But you're Richie Rich. And you'll be going to pris. You're not all right, darling, cos I shall squeal. Yeah, I shall sing and... and blab... Then I might even spill a little bit. And I shall buy a lighter sentence with the names of my accomplices - to wit, Edward Catflap. Then I'll have a face-lift so you can't exact your revenge. You'd need a fork-lift truck to lift your face, matey. At least I've got a face, not a collage of bogeys and sick. Just cos you never get any girlfriends, you think you can take it out on me. Me, never get any girlfriends? That's rich, you never get any girlfriends. I was out with a girl last Wednesday. Eddie, that was your mother. I still got a snog. - Snog? - More of a fight. She beat me senseless. That must have taken at least ten seconds. 15 seconds, actually. We're about to be sent to Devil's Island, Tarby's coming for an important dinner party and you're babbling on about your insane mother. We're up plop creek with no loo brush. - I'll telephone my agent. - Good idea, let's blame him. Yeah. Hey, what if he won't take the rap? Say we'll go to the papes about his "children's catalogue". Nice thinking. Hello, Filthy? God bless, look after Mum, drive safely. Listen, you filthy, evil porno merchant, me and Eddie are in trouble. Unless you take the blame, we'll tell the world the truth about your "stage school". Please, daughter, please. Please. Listen, I am not a well man. This morning, I coughed so hard I sucked my trousers up my backside. Now, listen, Richie. Nobody needs to take the rap for this. What you have got to get yourself is an alibi. Don't shout, daughter. There's only so much an agent can take after only one bottle of aspirin. Now, look, alibis are easy. You're a comic, right? Well, loosely speaking, of course. Yeah. You were doing a show. No, no, that's easy. All we have to do is to get you a real show tonight, then Eddie can crawl around surreptitiously, change the audience's watches back to the time you blagged the store. Yes, yes, I know just the venue. 'Très chic. Très bona. 'Yeah, only the nicest young ladies need apply. ' A peepshow, Filthy? What if Tarby finds out? I'll be thrown out of the Royal Order of the Charitable Self-Publicising Showbiz Bog Otters. Don't worry about the Bog Otters. They were in here themselves half an hour ago. They had to leave cos they run out of 50p's. How's my boy Richie doing? That audience are getting a bit restive at the moment, trying to see if bouncers really do bounce. Don't mither the act. He's got enough to concern him, what with being crap. You were supposed to be changing the audience's watches while they ogled the girlies. I was trying to but the hands are moving too quickly. Get on with it. Right, that's it. Richie, you're on. God, I'm not ready. How do I look, darling? Not good, daughter. Très, très bollocks. - He's absolutely bloody right. - Philistines. I'd better do my superstitions. What are you doing? Titch "Oo-er, madam, don't start me off" Juicy always did this before a show. - But he was notoriously awful. - God, you're right. Boys and girls, lads and lasses, please welcome to the stage a very funny man indeed, the world famous Mr, er... Richie Rich. Ooh-hoo-hoo! - Here we go. Break a leg. - OK. Get off, you maniac. Hello, hello. Shut up. Hi, God bless and if you can't be good, be careful. Ho ho ho. Right. It's full up in here, as the vicar said with his hand up Sam Fox's blouse. Show us your tits. But seriously, folks. The Good Lord gave us the gift of laughter. - Get off! - Ha ha ha. Thank God the likes of Tony Benn can't take that away from us, although he'd like to. Tell us a joke, then, you fat bastard. I hear Arthur Scargill's blind stick lost his hairdresser. - You have to laugh, don't you? - Not at you. Two, three, four... Happiness Happiness... Thank you. God bless you, one and all. - Get off! - The greatest thing That I possess... The smile of a child, a beautiful woman, just simply being... British. Crap! I thank the Lord that I've been blessed... Let's thank the mums. Hello, mums. Here to keep an eye on Dad, are you? Richie, it's not going very well, is it? ...than my share of ha... ppiness Ha ha ha. Thank you, one and all. Happy hunting and if you can't be good, be careful. I've done that one. Er... And if you're in a car, please drive safely. Thank you and good night, one and all. I love you all. Well, tough crowd but I think I got the measure of 'em. Ooh. They probably couldn't afford flowers. This will do for our dinner party. Richie, I've got some rather bad news for you. - You're under arrest. - That's the bad news. I wasn't that bad. I stumbled on a couple of punch lines. It was our alibi-it collapsed. Mr Forsyth, he followed us here. It's pris for us. - Are you coming quietly, sir? - No, it's just the way I walk. Note that down. I want all to know I was still cracking woofers. Woofers or ancient double entendre that everybody else gave up in the playground? Oh, what a clever thing to say. How brainy you are. Got a degree? Just cos you earn four times as much as a nurse, you think you can cheek Richie Rich, do you? Now, that's what I like to see. A good, old-fashioned bobby. Don't worry, Richie. These days, prison food is quite acceptable. Mind you, it's not so nice when they nail you to the table and shove it up your backside. Well, Eddie, the long and winding road is over. The great god, public, claims another weary showbiz victim. Huh. Oscar Wilde, playwright, arrested for his beliefs. Lenny Bruce, comedian, arrested for his beliefs. Richie Rich, celebrity, arrested... For going nicking down the local shop. Huh! Lt'll be the trial of the century. I shall be tried in majestic splendour by a jury of my peers. Parky, Tarby, Lynchy, Sue Lawley. - Annie Diamondy. - Debbie Greenwoody. Selina Scotty, Maggie Philbiny. Bloody hell, what a fantastic jury. We might be on for a sex sesh after the trial. Too right except you won't be there, cos you'll be in pris. I'll be all right. I'm gonna plead insanity. Damn. Let's face it. You've got the evidence. Let me out! I need a lawyer! I want my lawyer! - Oh. - Don't shout, Richie. It oscillates the atmos and rattles my phlegm. - I've found you a lawyer. - Oh. Met him outside. Known him for years. Spurty. - Pervy Sir Peter Spurty, QC. - Mm. Bit of luck him being here, really. He'll get anyone off if you buy him a dirty mag. Remember when the Tory cabinet were found in that brothel discussing declining moral values? Clear as a bell. Pervy Sir Peter Spurty got them off. Right. He's the man for us. Bring us our lawyer! We demand Pervy Sir Pete. - In there, Spurty. - Blimey, that was quick. Well done the police, say I. Why do left-wingers keep sniping at them? If you don't wanna get beaten up, you shouldn't be poor. Richie, shut up. Watcha, Spurty. Me and my mate are in a bit of a fix and are gonna do five to ten in the slammer unless you can stitch the jury, rig the judge and buy off the pigs with a kickback. Eddie. Please, please, please. This is England, Eddie. England. Not Birmingham. The British bobby cannot be bought. - You, shut your face. - Sorry. - What are you offering? - Nothing. You must speak to my lawyer. What, old pervy Spurty? Ho-ho-ho! Ha-ha-ha! Right now, everything seems to be in order here. I would stand by you, Richie, but lost causes depress me. Toodly-woodly. Right, Spurty, do your stuff. Your Honour, I wandered into a garden, under the impression it was my garden. On seeing items of women's laundry hanged on the line, I naturally assumed that my wife had done some washing and I began to get it in for her. The fact that I live in a high-rise flat and am not married is circumstantial evidence and, hence, inadmissible. Right. Well, we'd better escape. Against Leon Brittan's law and order initiative? Never! No choice. The meat is in my trousers, Tarby is coming round to hear his golfing anecdote and you're banged up in the slammer. Don't be disgusting. I've never been banged up the slammer. You're right. We've gotta escape. I have a plan. What we have to do is set up a complicated system of stooges to find out exactly what the guards are up to. Then, we dig three tunnels and hide the dirt in our trousers. We forge some German documents and make the clothes of French peasant workers out of these blankets. It's a great night for dying! Then we wheel the wooden horse into the exercise yard, we build a glider and we pole vault over the fence. - What do you think? - Pathetic. - Let's do it, then. - Yeah. I'm sorry I doubted you. Your plan worked brilliantly. Yes. Shame about old Spurty getting shot by the Gestapo. No, the SPG, Eddie, the SPG. Not the Gestapo. They're completely different things. The Gestapo, er... - speak German. - Ah, yes. We're all right. That's what matters. Of course, Eddie. Safe and sound at home. Perhaps now I can prepare for my fantastic dinner party. Empty the big trousers. Okey-dokey, me old spunky cock sparrow. Now then, I've invited Tarby, Lynchy, Parky, Brucie, Tommy O'Connory and you and me. Have we sufficient comestibles? Oo-er! I don't know about that but here's the grub. Good Lord, how did you get so much meat in your trousers? That's what all the girls say. Smut is the last recourse of the emotional cripple, Eddie. It's a psychological truism - people talk about what they can't do. Is that why you always talk about acting, plop pants? Perhaps there is a land beyond the oblivion of brain death where your observations would be understood, but to us earthlings, they are mashed potatoes. So keep them to yourself! Richie, it's your choice. I can either stuff the meat into the oven, you into the oven or the oven into you. Which is to be? The former. Which one was that? - That was where the oven... - Meat... It doesn't matter. Tarby'll be here in ten minutes and we haven't cooked a thing. Get this stuff in the oven. - I'll never get it all in. - Oo-er, sounds a bit rude. Gonna need something to lever it in with. Oo-er, sounds a bit ruder. No matter how much I stuff in, there's more to be pushed in. Oo-er. It sounds even ruder than it was before. Thank you for these observations. Every culinary exchange should be accompanied by the rantings of a braindead vegetable. There we are, it's alight. Ooh, it's Tarby. Oh, God, Tarby's here. Oh, God, it's Parky, it's Tarby, it's Lynchy. The whole gang's here. For God's sake, don't do anything rude. Hope I'm not late, loobies. I bought you a bottle of wine but I drunk it in the taxi. Oh, God, I'd forgotten I'd invited you, Filthy. You won't impress my showbiz friends. I'd be impressed if you had any friends. Right, that's it. Your invitation's withdrawn. Go away. Oh, go on, daughter, do me a favour. Where's your sense of humour? - Only a bijou jokette. - Oh, joke, oh. Of course I'll impress your friends. We'll make a bona little team. The financial artiste. The theatrical artiste. And the piss artist. It's going to be a truly magical evening. Blimey, those candles burned down fast. Oh, keep it to yourself, Eddie. Much time has passed. I'm swathed in melancholic pathos. - Oo-er. - Shut up, Eddie. I think you've been stood up, Richie. Oo-er. Oh, shut up, Eddie. After all I've done. A show in a peepshow, robbed a supermarket, been to prison and the rotters haven't even turned up. Fate deals me blow after blow. Oo-er. What time did you put on the invites, love? Eight o'clock. Look, I've got 'em here. Tarby's, Brucie's, Lynchy's and... I forgot to post the invites. Dinner is served. - - Last few what at the old price? - - W--Worry about that when we get 'em inside! - - We need a bigger window, you know. - - What for? So we can write bigger letters. I doubt if they can read that across the street. All this m--money I'm spending on advertising! I'm n--not r--r--reaching p--people. All this money? What money? One little brush and a pot of whitewash! Do you want to cross the road, love? Off we go! It's all clear. How about a kiss, then, to start the day right? It might start your flaming' day right, but it won't do a lot for me! I see you've just met Dennis. That's Dennis. We're training him for a round of his own. I hope it's not round here! Thank God it's dark. Suppose somebody had seen me kissing the milkman! Some of these firms spend a lot of m--money on advertising. That's it. If it's gonna cost money, that's us finished before we start! I don't see why. Huh! What, you -- spend money? Granville, I am t--talking about advertising. You keep on about s--spending money. I wish you'd w--watch your language! I may be old--fashioned, but I hate to hear young people t--talking loosely. I haven't brought you up to be promiscuous over m--money. - - True, I'll give you that. - - You've lacked for nothing. That's right. That's one thing I haven't lacked -- nothing! I've had plenty of that! You've always had good food and healthy exercise. I know. But what about boring? It's often been boring. Well, I should hope so. But look what it's d--done for your complexion! - - You've got wonderful skin, our Granville. - - I haven't done a lot with it, though. Skin like that is entirely due to good old--fashioned English b--boredom. We used to be famous for it, a while back, all over Europe. "There go the English," they used to say. "Aren't they boring?" Mind you, we were always r--respected for it. Yes, but the world's changed. And d--don't they know it. Look what they get now abroad. L--Liverpool supporters! "A Song For Europe". Surely boring sounds better than that already! There must be a happy medium. There was. Your c--cousin Ethel were a medium. - - I didn't know I had a cousin Ethel. - - She was your mother's cousin. She used to do seances and the table r--rapping and all that. - - That's where I must get it! - - What? I sometimes think I get little periods of precognition. Do you? It's just your plugs oiling up. Don't worry about it. - - I'm being serious. - - So was your cousin Ethel. Oh, yes. Night after night she used to try. Then one night, out of the b--blue -- well, out of the b--black, rather, suddenly there came this kn--knock. A visitor from the spirit world? In a way, yes. He was a chap who worked at the off--licence. He was looking for nice, honest, homely diggings. - - I don't believe a word of this. - - It's true. She took him in and soon they knew each other as only people can who've had a couple of sessions on the Ouija board. -- (SHOP BELL) - - Someone's trying to get through! 'Ey up! It's Noddy! Good morning. What can we do for you? That's what a person my age should be dressed like! Not like this! Call that dressed? I put more than that on to go to bed in! Can we help you in any way, or is it t--too late? Razor--sharp responses, you'll notice. Still, we shouldn't mock the afflicted. Pity about his eyesight. There's nothing the matter with his eyes! He's wearing shades 'cause he's cool. I should think he is cool! His shirt's open to the kneecaps! We're over here, sir! He's Mutt and Jeff and all! - - Here we are, sir. - - Get off! - - Watch it, creeping up on people! -- (ROCK MUSIC BLARES OUT) - - Watch it, creeping up on people. - - Could you turn your vacuum cleaner down? - - What? - - Shouldn't you wear a vest? - - You what? - - Never mind. Go back to automatic pilot. -- (MUSIC GOES THROUGH HEADPHONES) - - Thank God they've gone! "Shouldn't he wear a vest"! Huh! - - Vests are out, man. - - Yours is. I can see it from here. - - Let me handle this. - - I wish you would, Granville. Hi! Something we can do for you, man? Don't listen to the golden oldie here. He's, like, from yesterday. You and me, we know where it's at, right? By the way, love the open shirt. That's very me, the open shirt. Soon as I get out of this clobber I'm straight into the open shirt. I'm well--known round here for it. I'm famous in the chest. Don't half turn the chicks on, right? The only snag is if the waistband on your jeans is too tight. That's what jeans are all about. If your jeans aren't tight enough, you might as well be dead, right? Can you repeat all that? I couldn't hear you for the sounds. I was just saying, like, you know, I dig all your gear. - - You got any blancmange? - - Yeah, I got two of their LPs. Life's full of excitement when you're engaged! Where are you going with that? The magnificent metal digit is going on the pavement, p--pointing at the shop. It's the opening salvo in me new advertising c--campaign. You spare no expense, do you? It's your old ice cream sign! That's just for openers. The hard sell comes later. - - It's all peeling and rusty. - - Oh, yes. How is your mother this morning? - - She's wandering. - - Oh, is she? Perhaps we can get her to wander off completely! - - This week she thinks it's 1935! - - Oh, dear! Tell you what. I'll p--pop over tonight. If she catches us cuddling, -- you can introduce me as Stanley B--Baldwin! - - No, thank you! Play your cards right, I can get you a place on my cabinet! Or maybe in my sideboard! I'm going to work. Come over later and I'll get supper. Lovely. I'll b--bring a bottle of wine. W--Wear something comfy. As we're almost related by marriage, I think it's time I introduced you to the secret practices of the small shopkeeper! - - Out of me way! - - Ow! Ooh! Oh, dear! Not the easiest place to stick a plaster on! G--Granville! Fetch your toolbox! Oh, dear. Where's y--your vest? What are you doing out without a vest? Now, don't start. I'm finished with all that clobber. I'm fed up with pinnies and vests. They can seriously interfere with your social life. I'll deal with you in a minute when I've f--finished shaping up this sharp fingernail. Get on out of it! And d--do your shirt up! You're too short for that sort of thing! People will mistake you for a very tall man with his flies undone! I'm sharpening it! I'm supposed to be b--blunting it! - - C--Cover your chest! - - I prefer to show me dangler. You wh... You what? And take them g--glasses off. You look like Secret Squirrel! - - What is that thing, any road? - - It's temporary till I find a proper one. - - Wh--What is it temporarily? - - It's a cocoa tin lid. It looks all right from a distance. Is that what you want the world to say of your dangler? "All right from a distance"? Dear, dear! (CLEARS THROAT) Oh, Granville! Hello, Julie! Oh! Ooh! Hey! Ooh, what a lovely...cocoa tin lid! It doesn't matter what it is. It's... It's symbolic. It's meaningful. Oh, meaningful. The only thing I know about cocoa is it's very good at bedtime. - - Language, Julie! - - Morning! Packet of Jelly Tots, please. I wouldn't stand too near the assistant manager. You might get a nipple in the eye! - - Doesn't he like you dressed like that? - - I'm not dressed unless I wear a pinny. I'm not giving in this time. - - I think you look terrific! - - You do? - - Thanks! - - Hey! I'm over here! Really? Do you really think I look terrific? - - Terrific! - - And this is only just for starters. - - This is just something I threw on. - - You missed! You wait! I'm gonna colour the hair. - - Have a Jelly Tot. - - Thanks. - - Why are they all black? - - It's your glasses! Oh, aye! Thanks. You've got nice eyelashes. You've got nice... Jelly Tots. - - You've got great legs. - - Do you think so? I've always thought that. I've always thought, "Julie has great legs." (ARKWRIGHT CLEARS HIS THROAT) - - What, both of 'em? - - Oh, aye. Nothing to choose between them! Then I thought, "Colour the hair, Granville. -- "Get into colour. Loads of colour." - - They're not really great legs. Then I thought, "Maybe" -- and I'd appreciate a second opinion -- "Maybe something plain. Severe, even. "Something discreet, in the shape of a single earring?" Oh, yeah! Yeah. Isn't that lovely? Oh, d--dear! Look at her! That's the k--kind of advertising we need! - - Have you got any copper? - - Oh, yes. One pound, thank you. There we are! I'm making a study of the adverts in these glossy magazines, Granville. There are two things that stand out. Her two things c--certainly stand out! But where are we going to get someone like that round here with these qualifications? No, who would d--dress in a c--costume like that and p--p--pose like that? -- (TILL BANGS) - - Aghh! Oh, dear. He'll never get the hang of that! What we need is someone who's attractive but not too expensive. Someone who's not too bright but brave enough to be casual about frostbite! Mr Arkwright, could you come a minute? Julie! Little Jelly Tot Julie! Miss Arkwright's Stores, 1982! Ho--ho! Hey, sh--she might even do it for sweets! Can you... Can you get me out? What are you doing inside that, Granville? It's got me by the dangler! How very inconvenient for you! I was so busy trying to keep me fingers out of the way, I forgot about me dangler! - - You do, don't you? - - Anything I can do, Mr Arkwright? Funny you should say that, Jelly...er, Julie. - - What are you doing? - - I'll be with you in a minute, Granville. - - Would you mind walking to the door? - - To the door? - - And back. Good lass. - - Get me out! With you in a minute, Granville. What is it? Is me slip showing? I bet there's a hole in me tights! No, no. Calm down, Julie. Everything's fine. Well, almost f--f--fine. Have you ever thought about m--modelling? Have you ever thought of g--getting me out? - - Modelling, Mr Arkwright? - - Yes. - - I don't think I'd be any good. - - Under my supervision and guidance. - - I were never any good before. - - You've done it before? Oh. L--l--I think I should s--say s--straightaway that I could only offer you a f--fraction of the g--going rate. I didn't realise you had m--m--m--modelled before. I'm still here! - - It's been quite a while. - - My feelings exactly! I think it were in Standard Four. I made a gnome out of Plasticine. Ah. No, I didn't mean that. It was supposed to be a gnome. It looked more like a frog. When the teacher said, "What's that, Julie?" I said, "Please, miss, it's a frog." I'm not usually so quick--thinking. She picked it up and said, "It's a frog, is it?" Then with a snooty expression she said, "It looks like a gnome"! Yes. You lost me round about the second frog, Julie. No, what it is, I want you to model yourself. I want you to be a model. Consider this while I unravel Gravel...er, Granville. About time, too. How would you feel about being Little Miss Arkwright's Stores, 1982? No, thank you. I've only got out of me pinny. I'm not putting a dress on! Not you, you clown! I'm talking to Julie. Little Miss Arkwright's Stores, 1982? A central figure in our advertising c--campaign. - - Really? - - Could somebody get me out of here! Quiet! You're very noisy since you left your vest off! - - Just get me out! - - It's like a loudspeaker in the shop! Ah! That's it! That's it! A loudspeaker in the shop! Just like they have in supermarkets. - - Where are you going? - - With regular announcements to customers. A speaker pointing that way so it'll reach the people in the street. Where's he going? Come back. Don't leave me here. Look, don't... Will you... Don't! Aghh! Don't leave me! Granville, get me that yellow screwdriver. Don't worry about it. It's only been two or three days. You'll be walking fine in a couple of years. Don't know what took you so long to get me out. I've got a business to run. I can't afford to spend time opening errand boys! (GRANVILLE GROANS) There you are. Think where your trendiness has got you. I brought you up to be a normal lad and suddenly you go bent. I know you're trying to talk me out of it. I'm not going to be talked... Ow! Granville, far be it for me to try to influence a h--hunchback. Come on. There she goes, the grocer's delight! - - Granville, have you got that mike fixed up? - - Just a minute. The nurse is there. I want to catch her before she goes in. I've got an idea. - - Come on. - - Here you are. Thank you, Igor, my faithful servant. This is what I'm going to say. "Hello, sh--sh... Hello, sh--sh... Hello, folks! "This is Ark--Ark--Ark... This is Ark... This is Ark--Ark..." I don't think I'd b--better do this, Granville. Did you notice a little s--stammer? Nothing worth talking about, no. But you'd better let me do it, just in case. You look more like a duck's jockey. Disc jockey! Disc jockey! In my case, a slipped disc jockey! Don't worry. Listen, don't start it off till I give you the signal. I don't wanna watch him. I wasn't talking to you. Your girlfriend, she's very pretty. She's a bitch. Margaret is an uptight Wasp cunt from Connecticut. Can I use your works? Yeah, It's allright. But give me an extra four hours. Sure. Do me a favor... Can't get around to get off. Relax baby. -Takes a lot. -You should be happy. Paul give us some money we can go take a lunch. So what? Get ready to go. It gets this bitch two hours to get ready to go out somewhere. In the beginning aliens were spotted in places with large amounts of heroin. Later, aliens appeared in specific sub cultures, punk cultures. Still around heroin and in these punk cultures many more strange deaths have occured. Big fucking belly, eat your food! Apple pie, shit! Why don't you ask something to eat some cheese some...and taste some wine... Nothing strange about deaths in punk culture. They kill each other by shooting too much dope. I remember when we were... in Cambridge there was war I think between the Mods and Rockers. They went on each other with bicycle chains. I don't think your punks need help from the outside to kill themselves. My mother used to bake five or six apple pies at once. Apple pie... She put them in the porch to cool. We had an apple tree in the backyard. When coming from play and the porch would be filled with steam. We couldn't have any pie until after dinner. You were lucky baby she sounds like a real angel. Listen I happen to have a free evening tonight. I'd love you to come at my place I've done some changes. I'd love to know what you're doing. I'd love you for dinner. Well I have an appointment with a fashion photographer, I can't get out of it. Well I'm glad your carrer is going so well. The most interesting fact we found these killings occur during sexual intercourse. You don't know my mom was great, listen to this: One time she came out of the house for a ride. And she was OK she was cool she was great. So she went out with this guy, this really straight guy, they went to this really fancy restaurant. You know, best in town! Right? She was doing fine. And all of a sudden, man, she stood up on the balcony. She could be right up on the balcony man, and she pulled up her skirt and she looked at all the people and she said: I'm Jesus Christ, man. And I baptize you in the name of the son the father and the holly ghost and she pissed on every body. It must have gone in the fucking food and everything. Can you beat that? Shit... Then what happened? Then they threw her back in. Thank you. Get check, please. Remember the last time you were off at the studio? When was that? -Six months ago. -Right. Remember there were a lot of people there? Well, several people came up to me and said: Is that your brother? Of course you're my sister mom. I show you the documentation about progress. You mean you made slides of sexual intercourse? They're gorgeous you know. Hey mom, can I have some money? I have to be right, I'll send you a check allright? Allright. You take American Express? I really need it you know. Can I give you when I left uptown? No! I'm going down. It's not funny, we've not only located the UFO, but we've managed to photograph the creature inside of the craft. We did an attempt to classify his various emotions and states. May be I'll go to Berlin. They'll love me in Germany baby, I'll be a star. I'll buy cocaine. Saw a fax with beautiful names. C'mon will be great. You think it will be different there? Why would you have to fuck up your hair. Your hair look like shit. That's what Owen always says. Owen... I was supposed to meet Owen. I forgot. Where? Taking Owen to our place? Well, I didn't want to go there. I don't like Owen baby, I don't want to see Owen. What's your schedule like? I need your help. I cannot get to close because I'm a stranger in this country. There are some things which are difficult to study because of that. I watched the creature from the empire state building but at night it's closed. How can I study the behaviour of this creature? It's on a private property. I don't know... I'd like to help you, but I don't know what you expect me to do. I'm just a college acting teacher. Fuck see Owen, OK. I got business, I got things to do. See fucking Owen. Well, listen... I'd like to help you in some way but... I've an appointment right now, can we get in touch tomorrow? These aliens are killing people, you're the only person I know in New-York. Telephone me tomorrow, keep in touch OK? Almost everything you've done since you left me has been self destructive. Adrian is a real bad influence on you. She didn't care anything about you. She's only using you. You're ruining your carrer. Your future. What are you talking about? It's the only thing I care, about my carrer. What do you thing I'm doing right now? I'm getting ready to shoot with a fashion photographer I met at the club. Who's got to come here. He only wants to go to bed with you. Nobody, nobody fucks at the club, everybody's gay. It's you who thinks about fucking all the time. Your vocabulary is punctuated to two words "Shit" and "Fuck". What do you say I should say making love instead of fucking? So what do you think? Is that better professor? I think you look like a hooker. And you act like a hooker. You'll end up in a hospital with some horrible sexual disease. You don't understand, so I look like a hooker? So what? You like it... I know that you like it. So why should I live these lies? The way you want me to dress and behave is as a sweet housewife slave of her husband's will. A hooker at least is independant ...nobody's victim. It's the only fair that I warn them, this pussy has teeth. You're my best student. I invested a lot of time in you. What do you say? We've spent most possible time in bed. You know, Adrian has turned you into a real mean bitch. Every body says so. Try to be nice. What do you think? Do you like this professor? I think you look better in jeans that in a turtleneck. Yes, professor. May I help you? Yes...what side of the building do your windows face? Are you the fire inspector? No, I'm a scientist. Well, I put my fire extinguisher in and all my exit rows are accesible. I'm a scientist. And you're studying windows. Well, windows have something to do with my research you see I'm an astrophysicist and I'm researching some phenomenon which has occured in some countries. I'm from West Berlin. Let me show you my...identification. Have you had dinner? No. Well I have a free evening tonight. Why don't we go upstairs and discuss a bite while we eat? All your costumes... they're just a participation in somekind of a phony theater. I only tell you this for your own good. It's a freak show. Are you trying to say that your blue jeans weren't theater? It's not the same thing. So your professor wore a three piece suit and blamed you for your jeans. And your jeans were too much. Don't you understand that your suit was also a costume? Is that your jeans did for love and sexual quality weird is no way wearing a costume. So you want me now, right? You have the best legs. We both have good legs. We had children they would have the best legs to stand. I thought I looked ugly and would give you diseases. It's a perfect place for watching. I'm ordering some chinese is that OK? It's perfect. You are wet. You have no right to do that I'm not your possession. It's so simple isn't it? Well you can have me. I don't wanna have you. I wanna make love to you. I'm telling this for your own good... I think you should go home. You've spent all your energy trying to get me excited and then... Want to throw me out? Please leave... Come here. Ok I'd like two orders of shrimp fried rice. An order of shrimp and pea pods. An order of shrimp with lobster sauce. And an order of jumbo shrimp. Owen...get up. -What I'm working on. -That's what I'm working on. Are you...a researcher? No I'm a TV producer, do you think that they exist? So you're looking for heroin and you don't want the police to know about it. Listen, this really has nothing to do with drug traffic. What can I do? Nobody really knows the true nature of these aliens. You're from Germany? Yes, Berlin. I'm jewish... So what connections do you think there can possibly be between UFO's and...heroin? What the fuck is going on in here? Have you ever seen a UFO ? Yes, this morning, that's why I'm here. Well that's very interesting. Would you like a drink? You can see it as well. I can see a UFO? Yes, through your window. You mean I can go over, there to my window, and I can look at it I can see a UFO? No, but you can see it through my telescope. Oh, you have a telescope with you? Yes, in my case. So why don't you set it up? I always dreamed about seeing a UFO. Hey, what did you say you were drinking? So you're dead now...shit. And you're going to hell. Straight from your marihuana jungles. Straight from your lies, your lies, your lies. You dropped it, fuck! Suits you well. You go to hell. Whe'll all go to hell. I'll go to hell too. But I know I'm damned. And you, never knew. So you weren't ready? to toll the bell. For me it's easy. From hell to hell I'm not dancing in marihuana jungles. I live in concrete mazes, stone and glass. Hard like my heart, sharp and clean. No romantic illusions to changing the world. I don't lie to myself. That love can cure because I know I'm alone. And you fucked that every day. You lived, you lied, you lied you lied. You go to hell? Suits you well. Shit! Ok, you wanna see an alien craft? You will see it. Look. You know I always dreamt to fuck a dead man, that's my chance. You're crazy. Sure I'm baby. That's why you like me, so let's fuck him. -Don't you touch him. -You want any? So you fucked twice today already. Don't do it! You don't like it baby, you don't have to watch. Crazy! Don't do it. Don't get moral with me, whore, you had to fuck him didn't you? I told you not to fuck him. This is my place I do what I want here. You can fuck any petty asshole who gives you a chance. You god damn whore! Don't you call me that you low-class freaking monster! Monster! I'm a monster? You let these guys walk on your bones, bitch! and you're gonna kill me with syphylis one day, you dirty cunt. Don't talk to me like that. Your mother was nuts, your father was a bum. You'll never go anywhere but to the Bowery you belong with the bums. You shut your mouth or I'll cut you baby. And nobody will fuck your ugly cunt. Why did you have to do that to him? He was a good man. He never did anything to you. That's a dead body. Now, let me see. That's an alien craft. That's an alien craft? Isn't it kind of small? The alien craft is about the size of a dinner plate, Who ever told you that aliens need as much space as people? Well, that's really quite a world that you showed me. You're a scientist as tall as the empire state building. and the aliens are as big as... Jumbo shrimp. I've available no other world to show you. Well, isn't it possible that that might be a child's toy? And not a UFO? Don't worry, forget it... We'll leave this fucking place, baby, and we'll go to Berlin. I wanna sing in the night clubs. Germans love me... We'll be happy. What are we gonna do with this body? Don't worry about the body... I know what to do, you wanna do it right now? Are you sure this has something to do with the UFO? Looks like two women just killed a man. This is not my first encounter with the aliens. Just watch in the long run you will see what happens there. Why don't they call the police? Why don't we call the police? They don't want the police to be involved. Why? Everyone has his own reasons for avoiding the authorites in their home. They have a very good reason, they've heroin there. I sure wouldn't like to be in their shoes right now. I wouldn't like it either. What are we gonna do? Just leave him there, we're going to Berlin baby, aren't we? Sure. We should have a wake. There's no food. So I go to the store and get some food. These are no protection for aliens. Oh! And do you have protection for aliens? You have a laser down in your pants? I think I need another drink. Wake up, honey... Come on get up and take a shower. I feel sick, Kathy. I know you feel sick. You took drugs today. No... Come on and stand up It'll make you feel better. Guests are already starting to arrive. Can't miss the party. Fuck the guests. You are brave, noble knight. Why don't you go overthere and freed those two beauties from the dragon? It's exactly what I'm gonna do. You're going...over to the appartment? No the little one just went out, I want to try to warn her. Are you serious? Yes. Well you're really a brave. You're the first man to ever leave me just before we're about to have dinner. Fuck the guests. Fuck the party. Just gonna sleep. Be serious. I'm ab-so-fucking-lutely serious. Don't talk to me like that. Why can't I? Because... Because this is your place, because you pay for anything Let's not start that subject again. I didn't start that subject, you did, I don't care... I'm sorry but I'll be right back. Oh don't expect me to wait for you. I don't like cold chinese food. I don't intend to start liking it now. I'm sorry but duty is more important than shrimps. Well the duty is yours the house is mine. And in my house shrimps are more important than duty. I'm going to sleep. Right? You ruined your carrer and now you want to ruin mine? You know I've invited everybody to this. Do you know how hard I've worked to make everything perfect, and you've not lifted a finger to help me! Now you want to humiliate me and embarass me in front of my clients. You wanna just prove to everybody that you're a failure. That you take dope, you take drugs, that you haven't made any money from any of your films, your books or anything you've ever done, mainly. You want to humiliate me, that's your point. But I'm such a fool to love you. Well, if you don't like me, leave! This is my house... Leave my house! You either get dressed up and behave like you have some self respect you'd just leave! Steve, will you fix me a drink please? Sure. Having a problem with the Neanderthal man back there? Yeah. Relax, you're fabulous. Don't make a penny of domestic quarrels. What are you staring at big cock? Sorry I wish I knew how to tell you... If you got something to say copper, just spit it out. You are in a dangerous situation. Man, listen let me tell you something you guys won't catch me, man, never! And I don't understand why you're being so stupid copper to let me know what's coming down that's really dumb. Copper? What does that mean, I can help you. Fuck off, get out of my way. You don't understand, I can help you. Oh! You're a rat man. You want me to put you on the take, so you'll let me know when your invasion come in? Invasion? Yeah what do you know about the invasion? Oh, shut your face scab, I don't play it your way. Just forget it fuck off, man! I don't need you man! Fuck off! Still sitting in front of the mirror. Adrian is here. I didn't come here to see Adrian. Well I don't have any dope for you. You have to see her about that. I don't want any dope. What do you want? Entertain you. So, how do you expect to entertain me? Well, men have always entertained women. I'm gonna show you...the difference. Between men and women. Don't make me laugh. I'm not gonna make you laugh. I'm gonna make you come. So what? I can come with or without you. You think I can't get it up, hmm? I don't care, I wanna fuck with someone else but not you. Oh I thought you wished for a big hard man. Seems to me that too many men today are telling me what I want. What I'm wishing is that you would leave. What are you gonna do if I stay call the cops? They'd love the chance to make love with you. You think that sexy become I'm turned on by that? Make me sick you big junkie. Fucking dyke. You're just a dyke. You're so attractive to me I'm just coming and coming. Shut up cunt! You're not coming yet! I wanna fuck you till you know what it means. Dyke! You sick pig, I don't need your cock or anything. You're nothing you're nobody, you're nothing you're nothing. Alright wore, I'm gonna be sorry. You're right, I'm a wore, allright you fuck me see cause it doesn't matter to me, cause you don't exist you're nothing you're nobody, you just don't exist you're just a fly. -Hi there. -Hi. Just set it down there, OK? Are you studying the stars Miss Sylvia? Exactly! Thank you! Oh my god! God miss Sylvia? Oh add out 20 percent. Very good, thank you. I'm falling asleep I'm tired, I'm falling asleep and you're boring me to death. Please don't die, I know you'll love it, Hurry up please! hop You'll love it, Fuck! I'm fucking you. Fucking you... Sorry, you're eating. Oh It's my pleasure. How did you meeting go with the girl? She didn't believe me. Who would believe a man who's capable of waiting till the shrimps get cold? Oh, what did you got? This is for you. This is what I drink. Oh, thank you. Start getting your dinner, I shouldn't start talking about your duty again. Here, open it. Hey you? Hey you? What's with these glass arrows in the head? To the last of your project. To the beautiful I can't have all these bodies. Just seems like that every body is involved with drugs not only teenagers but everybody. And now you're telling me that aliens have come here and they're also looking for drugs. It's just incredible. Corpses...all these corpses here. Dead people... Please...no more bodies. It is for me? You did that for me Chief? Why? Why don't you come to me? It seems to be strange that the aliens are interested in heroin but there could be a lot of reasons for that. We now know because of the research of few American scientists in the late 70's. There are special receptors, opiate receptors in the human brain. Heroin, codeine, morphine all belong to the same chemical family derived from the poppy, they' re called opiates. So that's what they found these Americans. That there are special receptors in the human brain to receive opiate molecules. What are these opiate receptors doing sitting around in the human brain? Waiting for someone to come along and give them heroin? Look what I got for you. Some physicians think... There's a naturally occuring molecule, in the human body. That is nearly the same molecular structure as opiates. Oh you mean to say that opium occurs naturally in the human body? Not opium, I said nearly the same molecular structure, nearly the same properties Opium users have said that the drug creates a similar feeling to what people experience during orgasm. Could be that this molecule is realeased into the brain during orgasm. During orgasm? That's very interesting. Are you gonna fuck him? He's dead. He's beautiful. I'm not playing house baby, you are. You fuck him. Get him real juicy. Stick him in the oven then we'll fuck. I know it always cheered you up before? A good fuck. Please continue about orgasm. I have a theory. If all humans have in their brains some substantial process based on the opiate mechanism of action why can't they exist somewhere on the universe some other form of life which would depend on this mechanism, even more... this would attract the alien to heroin. Well according to you to humans as well during orgasm. Well, Well, doesn't that mean that orgasms are dangerous? Yo! It's Jimmy! So looks like he found some money for some stuff. or something I forgot. I mean, I forgot the time. I'm not ready. Don't worry about it, that's what their job is, they gonna fix you beautifully. Don't move... I love it, the chicken is great, Let me get a shot at him. What are you doing? You can't go around snapping pictures at people when they're not ready! Calm down darling, I've got some cocaine for you. And I don't want any bakery. We're gonna have a marvelous time. Margaret this is Nelly, she's the fashionary from Midnight Magazine. She has longer legs than yours, hasn't she Margaret? I'd like to ask you a few questions. You don't mind do you? -Recording your doing. -Turn it off...now. If she doesn't want, she doesn't want. Why? nasty things this morning? you know where they have the drugs? How should I know? Ask Jack. Drugs? Don't be impatient, be cool. Brian was right, your roof is perfect. This fucking city is really something. What have you done to yourself now. She can't hide it. A chicken is a chicken. Come on Jimmy. You're both so beautiful and you look alike. Be nice. I'm not a chicken. -Ouch! -I'm sorry Jimmy! I didn't know your scalp was so sensitive. Now don't get anything dirty, and tape the tags on the inside It's not necessary to cut them. Where's the cocaine? Dwayne? Would you fix us a few lines, darling? Here, I've got some blow too, baby. I'd like to ask you a few questions over your childhood. Come here, legs. Can't you see she's busy? I'll tell you about her childhood. Margaret dropped from Connecticut. She went to church every sunday. This is when she was sixteen. What are you doing? This is my hair, you could at least consult me about it. I think, Jane, the hairdresser... Hair stylist. Hair stylist is right. We don't need this accessory. The image should be simple. Your photographs that Adrian was just showing me indicate a fairly traditional upbringing. And you slipped to a weird off with some obscure fantasy look. spirit of paradise everyday in Las Vegas and better. It's tacky. You're tacky. What do you mean by wearing all this weird make up and strange clothes? Nothing. You don't admit to dressing strange? You're strange. What do you mean by that? I'm not wearing rags. You're wearing what they want from you...baby. America! What do you mean America? I'm American, she's American. He's American. Where're you from? -Detroit. -Las Vegas. -I'm coming from Montana. -El Paso. -Where are you from? -Philadelphia. See we got the whole country representative. -Right. -It's the melting pot. And this chicken is Miss America of the eighties. No Jimmy, you are. No. I think Margaret is Miss America. I think it's Jimmy. You just say that because you're gay. Oh he's not gay all the time. I seriously think Jimmy is the new Miss America. He has all the mannerisms of a sex symbol. That's what we should call this make it a series. The two miss Americas. Great idea. And we could end it with the two of them fucking. He can't fuck. I can too fuck. I just can't fuck you. You two are just too chicken to be photographed fucking. Chicken woman. He's the chicken not I. That sounds like a challenge to me, Jimmy. You're just a chicken. You're just a chicken. Please don't start on me now. You look tired. You look old and ugly and washed up. Stop it! Jimmy you don't understand anything. What I don't understand anything is why anybody would want to take your picture. That's what I don't understand. You're just a freak. A weirdo. Behind your back everybody laughs. They call you chicken woman. That's why you look just like her. Such a sweet point. Don't step on that shoe, we'll have to pay for it. C'mon! C'mon! One day the chicken woman had chicks. And everybody stepped on, cause they were so ugly... Don't talk to her like that. We still have two rolls of film. Old Mac Donald had a farm E... I... E... I... O and on his farm he had some chicken. E... I... E... I... O With a chick, chick here and a chick, chick there Here a chick...chick there, Chick Everywhere a chick chick Old Mac Donald had a farm E... I... E... I... O What is going on? What is going on? Why are they all being so mean? Being mean here and in the club is no fucking difference than all those fuckers out on the street. Or anybody else in the goddamn world. The only difference is out there they all pretend to be nice. And in here we ain't pretending shit. What do you mean nobody's pretending? We're all dressed up like for a masquerade going on stage playing hoodlums. famous bags. The biggest eye bags around chicken with the eye bag. It's just like a three penny You're too old to model. Don't make me hate you! You're so ugly. And you are so beautiful. You're the most beautiful boy in the world. You're the most beautiful boy. What? I don't care what you say. I don't love you. Margaret what's wrong with you? Let me see your eyes. God what eyes. Chicken woman. C'mon, Jimmy! And your lips. You're so old and ugly, I can't look at you. Come on, she's beautiful. No, I know I'm ugly you should punish me I'm not good enough for you. I'm just an old and ugly whore. The oldest and the ugliest. You should beat me. If you want... -Beat her? -Come on, do it! Move the lights, pay attention! Get out of the way, quicly, quickly! Yeah you want me to hate you? Whatever you want I'll do it. I'm so ugly and you're so beautiful I think you should hit me. C'mon, hit me. Hit me, You ugly old whore, you make me sick. Cunt! Let me see your beautiful cock. And let me do it for you baby. I'll do it and you could hit me if I do it wrong. Beg for it. You asked for it. Let me see your beautiful cock. Come on baby, I'll do it good. Come on. Give it to me. Give it to me. I can't. Do it! Do it! I can't. Beg for it. Look at yourself. Look at yourself. Look at yourself. You are the most beautiful boy, you are the most beautiful fucker. We want to see you fuck her. Fuck her! Get him, Margaret you whore. Do it! Give it to me baby. Do it! I can't. Come on! You can do it! You whore. Do it! Come on Margaret. Do it! Let's go! What for? Let's go! You made me do it. This pussy has teeth no one should fuck me ever. What did you do with him, Margaret? I can't... So where's the body? I don't know. Would somebody look on the roof. Nothing out here. What's in the box? Was it a magic trick? No, Ann, it's no magic trick, I keep dead bodies in so I can fuck 'em. Adrian, you should leave me alone. You should leave me alone. What are you talking about? I can. How? I killed the people that fucked me. That's it, if you fuck me you'll die. Come on, baby! No, it's true! It's not true. I'm serious. I'm serious too. Hey you! How many people want me see me fuck Margaret and not die? It's too much Adrian Lay off! There's something very strange going on here. I'm going to leave. Right there's something strange going on here. I bet you 300$ that I can fuck Margaret and not die. Of course she won't die. But I'm not sure watching you fuck is worth 300$. But it sure sounds interesting. I'd like to watch but I'm not sure Margaret's in the mood. Adrian! You should stay away from me, I'm a killer. You like to fuck, baby, better than anything in the world. I don't want you! Why not? Because I'm killing all the people that I fuck. You kill me bitch, that's the joke of all time. Adrian... Leave me alone. You like it honey? You like it... Don't do it, Adrian. These good people want to see me fuck you now. No! We're gonna go away, We're gonna go away. We're going to Berlin. Right after you fuck me. No! No! No! No! Berlin. Help me hold her down, she likes it. It's Ok. It's Ok baby, No! You'll die Adrian! Kill me baby! Kill me baby! No! What have we done? Wait a minute. We think clearly this cannot be explained. It's easy to explain. You wanna know who and what I am? I'm a killer. I kill with my cunt. You can write about it... in Midnight Magazine. Or National Enquirer. It's gonna be a new sensation. You wanted to know where I'm from? I'm from connecticut. Mayflower stock. I was taught that my prince would come. And he would be a lawyer and I would have his children. And in the week ends we would barbecue. And all the other princes and their princesses would come: and they would say delicious, delicious, Or, how boring! So I was taught, that I should come to New-York and become an independant model. And my prince would come and he would be... an agent. And he would get me a role. And I would make my living waiting on tables. I would wait till thirty... till forty...till fifty. And I was taught that to be an actress one should be fashionable. And to befashionable is to be androgenous. And I'm androgenous not less that David Bowie himself. They call me beautiful. And I kill with my cunt. Isn't it fashionable? Come on who's next? I take lessons. How to get into show business. Be nice to your professor, be nice to your agent. Be nice to your audience. Be nice. How to be a woman? Want them when they want you. How to be free and equal. Fuck women instead of men and you'll discover a whole kingdom of freedom. Men won't step on you anymore. Women will. So come on, who's next? Who wants to teach me? Come on! Teach me. Are you afraid? You're right. Because they're all dead. All my teachers. -What time is it? -What? We go to the club. We go to the club, we'll dance. There's nothing else to do, we might as well dance. Come on let's go, let's go. -Are you looking for Adrian? -Adrian is dead, it's every man for himself. I'm delighted to see you, you don't know how it thrills me. -You're glad? -Sure I'm baby you're the man. I love your sexy body. -You're freaky. -Sure I'm baby, freaky for you. Let's go to my place. Come on. Well now that we've had dinner and coffee and everything... Why don't you take off your jacket and make yourself at home. I really should update my notes. You're absolutely right, now is "the" perfect time. This is gonna be the fuck of your lifetime. -I got some coke. -I don't care about that. I just want you...now. Orgasms, wasn't that the subject we were discussing? I think that right now I should study the alien. Two aliens have orgasms. They don't even have bodies. Oh! You're an alien in this country. And I wouldn't certainly complain about your body. Do sit down. Well being a German alien and a scientist. What do you think about German alien orgasms? I want you now. That's too good. What's your hurry? I'll do anything you want. Do you want to hit me? You are sick. Sure I'm baby, I've got so many problems with my brain it's a real pain in the ass. Ho, yeah. Look stop, I'm gonna come. Give it to me, baby, give it to me. come on , come on. Suppose orgasms are killing people. What would you say about a person who had multiple orgasms? I would say this person is very sick. And would you be interested into studying such a person? Being a scientist? And German alien? Come on... Give it to me. Give it to me. I'm sorry, I can't stay, I must go with, she's in great danger. I'm sorry. Shit. Excuse me, do you know anybody here by the name of Adrian? Sure. Come out! Come out in the end. We got them all. Is there one left? We can meet together now. Where are you? Why don't you come out? What do you want? My name is Jurgen Hoffman, I'm a scientist. I've come to get you out of here. We should leave immediately. What do you know? I've watched through this window. I've witnessed the deaths from over there. I know how and why they died. You're in great danger, come with me. So you tell me why they died. What difference does it make to you? Now. Come with me. Wait a minute you come to my place and you want me to leave and you don't want to tell me why? Ok, you have a creature, an alien creature on your roof. Where? I study these creatures. You're in great danger, come with me. -Tell me where he is. -You want to die? -No. -Let me explain. -Let me go. -Let me explain. My theory is that these creatures, aliens feed of people like we feed about other creatures, and that they need for substinance a substance similar to opiates, heroin is an opiate, so this one can hear for it but they found something better! That substance is produced in the brain during an orgasm and is similar in chemical structure to opiates. It is the key to get this substance. Why didn't he kill me? Did you have an orgasm? No! In the end, in the end... Where are you? Why don't you come out? Over there... In the end. In the end come on now. We can be together now. Come out! You can feed on me if you want. It's OK. I don't mind. Now you care for me. We can be happy. I wanna make love with you. No! You can't leave me. Don't leave without me. No! No! Excuse me, I'm in a tremendous rush, I can't make any stop I've got to go strait to the penthouse. The penthouse, that's the same as the roof, that's where I'm going. Looks like Adrian is having a party. Adrian? Who's Adrian? This isn't the roof. Here's a sign. Once, an evil magician Troll devised a mirror in which all good and kind vanished while all the foul and disgusting was, on the contrary, reflected and seemed even worse than it was Troll's students dragged this mirror all over the Earth and caused much evil and then they desired to get to the heavens themselves but the mirror fell from their hands crashed and broke into tiny pieces millions of its splinters scattered all over the world a person, in whose eye such a splinter got inside, would start seeing only defects in everything and his life would become unbearable a sad tale TEARS WERE FALLING Oh, excuse me, Gennady, my husband came in. Just a second. Pasha, the table is set and the soup is on the window sill Sorry, Genady Akeevich, I'll start over "Our fate can turn on us at times So let us say in farewell hour.. ...We'll say to Kovalev in chorus That times without you will be tough." "That times without you will be tough" we say that one all together Then I'll print it tomorrow and hand it out to each department Of course I'll do it in time. Of course Alright. I will read on "You've never been too strict with us Perhaps at times just too much so When dedicating these lines to you We love you so! We love you so!" "We love you"--chorally again. In fact, all the last lines are done chorally "May your good life flow on as ever As ever sparkling with its youth We give our love in being hopeful That you'll forgive us everything." "You are a foe to those who flatter But we're not scared you'll take offense What? What did you say? The word "foe"... "Foe" sounds good, but Her pregnancy is not visible to strangers just yet... but society should not scorn her... I agree with the complexity that a boy, a twin is growing up... How can one separate them, knowing that twins are biologically so intertwined... Daddy-o, whatcha doing? Not enough chairs in the house? ...whatever has happened in another family... There's a child degenerating in there, and none of you could care less Not good. ...one can say that the whole procedure of this surgery... Sorry, Gennady, what was that? Dad, maybe I can open the can of sprats for you? Will you have some? Lucy, can you please stop calling me "dad" --Why is that? --I'm just asking OK Still, why? I've called you that from the very beginning... I don't want to get into it. Then what should I call you from now on? Comrade Vasin, is it? My name is Pavel Ivanovich Oh, no, that's for close relations. I, being a stranger here, will call you Comrade Vasin Officially! Hello, Comrade Vasin How was your sleep, Comrade Vasin --Eat your salad, Comrade Vasin --Get out of here! What? Out! ...And here Teterin is now present... no Gennady, it must be there! "And here Teterin is now present He will replace you in your job ...But he'll be the first to feel the loss of How you are leaving us at last" "An irreplaceable loss"? --May I please? --But that doesn't rhyme Hello, this is her husband I have my own version, please listen to it "And now Teterin's been promoted And everyone feels truly blessed And now let's everyone together Bow down so low and kiss his ass." I think the rhyme is good, and Comrade Teterin will like it, too. What have you done? That was Teterin on the phone. Even better Pavel, what are these silly jokes? Do you understand how you made me look? I will dial it again, you go and apologize Do you hear me, Pasha? Pasha, what's happened? Do you have troubles at work? My little hampster, please answer when asked Oh come on, I ironed this dress, and now I have to do it all over again --I find your flattery distasteful --What flattery? A person is retiring with a farewell party. Some warm words for him... --Who is retiring, Teterin? --Kovalev is. Kovalev. --And Teterin is taking his place --Precisely What, precisely? ! What? ! --Lucy is in tears --What happened? --What else has he done? --I do not tolerate calculating people --Dad, you choose your words more carefully --Go, dad has some troubles Dad, who's calculating? Lucy? How? That she married a student without a stipend? It's laughable --Laugh then! --Gera, don't pay attention to dad... She wasn't marrying you --Who then? --Me --This is news --She thought this student's dad took bribes --...she'd have a summer house and a car --pure nonsense! And who asked me to set up a new apartment? I asked! What's wrong with it. Every woman wants to have her own home to manage Do you have your own premises? Go and manage them, then. --Have you seen those premises, Comrade Vasin? --I've seen all kinds of things. --Comrade Vasin, read me a fairy tale --You have a daddy, he can read to you Gera's busy with his diploma work Tell your mommy, if she doesn't like it here, the door is wide open. --Excellent! --I am not keeping anyone Dad, Lucy is actually no stranger here. I forbid you to speak to her in that tone. Young man, you have no right to prohibit me in anything --You are an absolute zero --Pavel, stop, it's unbearable! I'm in everyone's way Pavel, where are you going? Can you explain this? What, have you lost it? ! I tell this overgrown boy for 3 years now that the tile is falling out, he won't life a finger! Pavel, I feel so sorry for you Pity yourself for how they'll cripple you! Poor girl. --Here, take it as a keepsake from grandpa! --Pasha, calm down! --Egoists --Pasha, where to? Comrade! Why do you look at me that way? --Me? --Yeah, you I wasn't looking at you No. You clearly were. Familiarize yourself. A monthly pass! Hey, pal! May I join you? She kicked me out Now she'll start begging me back "Come in" she'll say. I'll say "No" out of principle I have no home, no corner of my own. That's how it is, pal --And where's yours? --Who? --Fedor! --And I keep silent --Fedor --Whaaaaat! Nothing See that? I trained her And you don't just go back either. Train her good. What do you need? --There are no vacancies. --There are. --I need a room. What must I do? --Give me your passport --And put a $10 note in the passport? --$ No need for the $10 in your passport, citizen. Then is it $15? Maybe $20? Will you leave on your own, or should I call the police? --Your room key, please --I'm going to the buffet The buffet is for the hotel residents only Why do you all sit on your butts? Get up and open the door for me, as you're supposed to --Merci! Bobylev, this is Vasin. --Do you live alone? --Yes, Pavel Ivanovich --May I sleep over at your place? --With whom? Hmm...yeah. Good lad! "People are lost only once... "...and having lost their trace, it cannot be found" "A person pays a visit to you, Stays awhile and leaves into the night" "Leaves..." "Leaves..." "And if he leaves by day, he still leaves you "Let's bring him back this instance As he is crossing the square" "Leaves..." "Leaves..." "Immediately, bring him back! We'll chat and lay food on the table" We'll bring him home, we'll settle it, And throw a fiest in his honor" --I came home --Very good --Did you get wet? --None of us are infallible Pasha, they left. They flagged down a car and left. 36-63-13 --Yes? --Please call Lyudmila to the phone --Could you call even later at night? --Do excuse me --Just a moment --Hello --Gera? --Yes --I was calling Lucy --She's asleep, dad Please call her Let them stay overnight there. Don't drag the child back and forth. She's traumatized as it is. Good evening, comrade Vasin. To what do we owe the honor? Lucy, you guys come back home in the morning... --Yeah? --Well, that is... --...if you can review your moral code? --Really? Dear Comrade Vasin, we won't come until YOU review your moral code --our moral code is doing just fine. --just fine? ! Did you take my casette player with you by accident? --Or did you simply steal it? --Oh, that's what it's about! Grandpa, you accidentally forgot that you gifted this junk to your grandaughter for her birthday So if you're missing your music, please buy yourself a new one And do check that all your forks are still in place! Why do you need that casette player? --What for? --Yeah, what for? --In order to record how you snore --Who? Me? ! Enough. I endured it for 30 years. Now, enough. --I snore? ! --Enough, Ira dear. --If I were you, I wouldn't touch this topic. --The lowliest dog has a right to mercy. Tell me why you all hate me. --For what? --Who ? Who hates you? What are you talking about? I've always given you my money to the last penny. I never cheated on you. I devoted my whole life to you people --Pavel, what are you...? --Don't! Just don't say that I am old and bald --When did I ever say that? --...that you are ashamed to be seen with me. I am only human. I have nerves like everyone else --Pasha, the thought has nevereven crossed my mind... --Excuse me, I must wake up early tomorrow Good night Pasha, you and I never used to fight Just tell me, what has happened? Have you fallen ill, my little hampster? --What's with you? --What for? --What, my little one? --What do you paint your lips for in your old age? Whom are you trying to tempt? Swamp-Queen! Alright, you chased out the kids Now chasing me out too Good boy! Ira I am at Dina's Dina, good morning, this is Vasin Lightened up a bit? Pavlik, listen to me carefully First, you need to seek treatment. Take a vacation, drink some herbs, and so on Second, Irina doesn't see that you're having a nervous breakdown And you must keep that in mind --Third... --Dina, tell her that I regret last night There you go! Only you will say it to her yourself I'm listening. Go ahead, Pavel --Desert --What? --Nothing --Pasha, do you recall the first word little Masha said? Remember? "Give" No, hampster, her first word was "grandpa" "Gradpapa." And that's when you spent your paycheck on the casette player and said we would record her Remember now? Pavel, you hear me? No, I am not listening to you. So long. Hi, Pavel Ivanovich! Again you made a draft. You have a cold. Acting like a child. --I'm listening --Tell me, people are saying you're planning to take all dogs outside city limits --Does that apply to medal-winning dogs? --What dogs, what for? For them to do their doggy business... --Citizen, lady where are you calling? --I'm calling you, "vice-" My dog has 2 medals and one diploma Listen, there's a special organization for dogs. Let them take them out. --Zenaida Petrovna, did Vasin come in yet? --Not yet, Valentin Maksimovich When he gets in, send him to me right away --Valentin Maksimovich, please pick up --Say that I'm at the pharmacy It's Mamaev --Hello, Igor Igorevich --Sorokin, what's with your garages People go to work, and meanwhile their garages get knocked down --Everyone had been warned --When? ! A year ago? ! Should have demolished them then --It was Vasin's idea... --And now it was more appropriate to give the owners some time Understood, Igor Igor'evich --Zinaida Petrovna --Yes --Immediately halt the demolition of garages --Is that an order? Consider it an order Pavel Ivanovich had asked that such an order must be in writing What for? Starting a paper trail? There's a paper shortage in our country as it is. To have an official document for why those wrecks are still standing Alright, I'll get you a written document --Hello --One minute --Hello --Is this the communal department? --Yes --I'm calling about the garage Comrades, your children will play on green grass in that spot --One minute please --This garage hardly bothers anyone I'm not authorized to change the management's decision So sorry What's this I hear about our Vasin going rabid mad? I told you he was kicked out of the house Last night called me all enraged, asking who I lived with, and could he spend the night over Please stop your gossip, nobody wants to know that Don't shout at me I told you that this is all under Sorokin's authority Yes. Hello? Pavel Ivanovich, is it true what they say that now all dogs will be walked behind the far lake? --They will --How will they get there? --Individually, or on an express bus? --They'll get their on their own --Go straight here --I'll take Lomonosov str. It's quicker --Keep going --Come now, Pavel Ivanovich, don't I know this city? Spending government money driving around in zig-zags So you caught me now? Yes, we caught you --Wait here. --It was supposed to be 20 minutes and it's been almost 2 hours now You may go. I no longer need you. --Aren't you ashamed? No? --Pavel Ivanovich...! I called but couldn't reach you, try to understand me Knock it down! --Young people why are you stealing the materials? --No, the guard let us take it --Hello --Howdy OK, guys, stand up, get closer, let's take the photo --Hello --Hello, Comrade Vasin Sasha, look who's here Comrade, please move over to the left Cut in a little more --Ready? --One second. Sasha! Comrades, I want to know what is happening here? A wedding In that case, I wish to congratulate the young couple --that's first of all. And second... --The young couple is us Then I congratulate you, but I request that you clear the premises. But we had permission Nobody could permit to have a drinking binge in an unfinished building. You are all adults here, you should... I knew this would happen. Shouldn't have lied to people! Attention, I am taking it now! Smile! Only hurry up. Pavel, I came for you --Hello, Pavel --Hello, Dina --Hello, Pavel --Hello, Dina Pavel, there's a therapist, Sklyansky, a brilliant professor People wait for 2 years to see him, but he agreed to see you now Thank you. Thank you very much. Pavel, I know all your principles, but could you get him into a co-op garage? He's a worthy person, and it's nothing so bad really... --With pleasure --Really? Yes. This instance. With great pleasure. Pavel...well... get in, let's go --I cannot --Why not? Dina, I already cured myself I used cowberry leaf! Galkina, write this down: fire the guard from construction site 3 for negligence --Where should I write it down? --You'll find where Sorokin's been looking for you --Pavel Ivanovich, may I take an hour off? --You may not I wish to knock down my garage with my own hands --ask Sorokin --we know better than that What is this? --A sauna --Precisely. A fire hazard. --And these are? --Tennis courts --How many of you work in that factory? --11... --Thousand? --Speaking --Pavel, I'm calling regarding the garages I just want to know whose order it was, Vladimir Nikolaevich's? Mine. So that 2 people can swing their raquets. But it was your idea to delay the demolishion of these garages Timing creates the necessary adjustments Could you please sign this. It's my reprimand for professional misconduct --Did you call Mamaev? No --When he calls, will you let me know? --Where? In the clinic? --Go make copies of this --Cut it out. You created this mess, and you fix it --I said it's a severe reprimand --I was hoping it might be a basic one --Young lady, you forgot to tear off the label --I cannot, I haven't bought the pants yet --Pavel Ivanovich, what do you think... --Call Galkina here immediately! --Will you sign it or stare at her pants? --I will not sign I already told you that I will not sign --But why, Pavel? We had an agreement... --That doggy playground! --The district will put it on this spot --What playground? --What do you have in mind? --A place to walk the dogs. Cuz they've crapped all over town And some people are following the dogs' example --Is this some kind of a joke? --This is no place for jokes --Pavel Ivanovich, did you call me? --Comrades, that's all I have. --Alright, we'll talk elsewhere --We'll tell Efimov about your ideas. He'll give you dogs to remember! --Don't intimidate us. Efimov is also quite manageable --We'll see about that No, comrade general, no exceptions for any Gaeva, sorry! Gaeva has a permanent garage that is not subject to demolishion --Galkina, write this down: Solov'ev gets no bonus --For what? --For wasting time dressing up at work --Please don't. She's a dedicated worker She works saturdays and sundays --May I? --See Sorokin about garages --No, she's here to get a piece of my apartment --Yep --Did I guess it right? You're mistaken, Comrade Vasin I am returning all the stuff we stole from you There! There! And there! I lost the other one. I'll reimburse you at first opportunity --Check it, it works --Lucy Yeah, I'm a fool and a simple nurse and no match for your son. But we'll manage to live without your charity Lucy, wait! I'm just saying, if you are standing on principle, then you should return everything The bag? We bought it with our own money. The bag is ours! "It is a good omen, ice is melting in the heart..." --Vasin speaking --Comrade Vasin, this is Kuziatin. There's a person threatening me with a rifle here --Where? --Here, building # 7 I'll be right there These are my mother's earrings. My most precious possession. She lost the second one on purpose, so as to hit where it hurts most Don't worry, Pavel Ivanovich, everything will get resolved --You're gathering evidence on me? --What evidence? Don't. Don't, Galkina. I can see right through all of you --Raya --Yes, Pavel Ivanovich --May I get Kostya for 15 minutes? --No, his carburator is not working --Got it Zinaida, why are you wasting time in here? Go, start digging! --Dig where, Pavel Ivanovich? --Dig dirt on me. Maybe you'll find some. So here we are Nikolai Vanechkin is out with a rifle to protect his property What a pretty picture! Have a look at him. Have a look! Not property, dear Pavel, but justice Fedor is a war veteran-invalid, has a Medal of Glory, and he is entitled. --Medal of Glory, you say? --Yep --Did you know that this medalist of yours stole my soap? --How come? In 1943, took a whole brand new piece of it Happens a lot But the main thing here is that Nikolai Vanechkin, my best friend's father is out in the street...! Beat it, or there's no telling what I might do Pavel Ivanovich, leave or he'll kill you for sure Hands up! Get down! Shoot me. Go ahead. Shoot, uncle Nikolai. Maybe I'll even thank you. It's not loaded A piece of soap Comrade Vanechkin take your weapon Take a hike, scumbag! Kuziakin, where are you? --Did he leave? --He did --I'm here --Turn the weapon over to the police Take a bulldozer and demolish everything. --Everything! --What bulldozer do you mean? --It's been called off --Who called off? --Sorokin called me. --Why didn't you say anything, moron? But our main thing was to liquidate this military cell in a touristy spot --So you haven't knocked down a single garage? --Sure did. Gaeva's. --Did it early in the morning --Gaeva's was permanent and not subject to demolition You're mistaken, Pavel Ivanovich. It was subject to it I started off with hers. You need to see me? --He's not in, Pavel Ivanovich --I know, I know, he's at the clinic When he shows up, connect us Why are you following me? I thought I explained it all in detail What else? Natalya, where's Galkina. Don't you hear me? --I'm talking to you --I'm on my break --Everyone has a right to take a rest --We know all about that right --Run out and find her --Let those with bonus pay run around --In that case, you're fired --Oh, I'm so scared Comrade, are you Vasin? Vasin speaking. Hello. Hello? Comrade, so then you are Vasin? I am Vasin --Hello --Semenov? --Yeah --Is your bulldozer gone? --It's leaving --Hold it back Hold it there at any price. It's not over. The night is young. I am from the local newspaper --From where? --the newspaper We're preparing a feature about how living arrangements affect family relationships --I think you could help us out with this question --I'm on my break Till 2pm Hello? --5 minutes --Be so kind as to wait outside --Darvatov? --Speaking, Pavel Ivanovich Listen, don't halt the demolition. Understood? Do not halt it! I cannot, Pavel Ivanovich. Let Sorokin call me himself. --Your Sorokin will call you --When? --I said he'll call you --Raya, did Sorokin show up? --No, Pavel Ivanovich --Have a nice stay --The law lets you work here 2 more weeks Nope. Find yourself some other fool. "Drops are falling on the rooftops Pouring rain is falling..." "...as if somewhere a distant drummer beats his little drum." --Now you go ahead --Me? --Yeah "Drops are falling on the rooftops Pouring rain is falling..." Good job, Masha dear "...as if somewhere beats his little drum a distant drummer." Other way around. Drummer first. But it sounds good anyway. Now let's sing together Grandma, leave cuz we're shy --1,2,3... Daddy, close the door --What, did you buy the whole store? Yeah I got nothing today. Go to the cafeteria Today I have. See? Ellie baked them Pastries with jam Blintzes with cabbage So, Pavel Ivanovich, shall we take a ride? I dug up some worms. Made kasha for the road. Stanislav, let's take you as an example While you bring this woman along with you So, am I to keep silent about that? Of all people, you should know better that she is practically my wife --So let's not touch this topic --No, let's! Since you started this conversation, then let's! It's not clear to Masha "practically" whose wife she is, yours or that soccer players. Vasin speaking. Hello --Press the button! Hello! --What soccer player? I don't know. There's lots of them. Raya, did Sorokin show up? No, Pavel Ivanovich How do you know about a soccer player? Is it rumors, or are there facts? Ask your second real wife, she's telling everyone --May I speak to Kuziakin please --Nonsense! She knows nothing at all ...about Ellie's existence. She never even heard of her name. Dammit. Nobody's working today. --Doesn't know? --Nope --Never heard? --Nope Sofia, good afternoon. Vasin is troubling you. --Cut that out --Hang on Sofia, do you know about the love affair between your husband and your neighbor Elvira? Who doesn't know about it? --Then tell him that --Hey! --He's in my office. --[Reporter] Now can we talk? ! --I of course understand that you're kidding... --I'M ON BREAK! --But this is a bad, cruel joke, and doesn't become you. --It's 2 PM! --1:57 Sofia, try to see that you're creating an odd situation for everyone Why do I have to raise my grand-daughter in a lie? She hung up Now you know that she knows. So what? --Vasin speaking --Hello! --Hello, do you hear me...? --She knows. And so what? --I hear you --The phone here is not working --Comrade...sorry, don't know your name... --Pavel Ivanovich --Turn off the pot --Sasha Ermakov is renting a room from me --Bon Appetite! --...the one whose wedding you visited --Hello? Hello? --I am listening When you left, there was a break-up --They quarreled badly --How can I help? You must let them hold their wedding there moreover, your colleage had given them permission...forget her name That's a lie Comrade, understand, this is a question of a person's life. I'm speaking to you, but I had to hide the rope from him --He's in such a state that... --Where do you live? Anyusin Lane, #5 Citizen, that's not in our district Sorry. On Wednesday, I came straight to you in the presence of Manohin and Kakaev --What for? --And I said that Ermakov, the tram depot carpenter, ...is requesting to hold a wedding in the one-room apartment that was allocated to him --Why? --Because he had already sent out the invitations --You told me to let him go ahead --So... I said that this doesn't fall under our authority You said that it's not the guy's fault that the fire inspector hasn't approved the building for move-in --So... --And that I was being a bookish bureaucrat You wanna hang a suicide on me Let me ask Tolya to drive you home --you have a cold, and the city is... --Galkina, this is so primitive! Take me home and put you in my place? Only you sign me off too soon. The night is young. I'll knock down those guarages and stop that wedding! And your extortionist won't get the apartment either --He will get it --He won't. I'll speak out against. I will speak for it, and everyone will support me. Then there will be no room for both of us under this roof In that case, it will be me who will stay At last! I tore off your mask. Pavel Ivanovich, Sorokin just came Coming! Galkina, I thougt you were my friend. I even wanted to marry you. --When? --This morning. --What about your wife and kids? --That does not concern you. I never cheated on my wife, and I never intend to! Holding on to your power chair? ! Trying to please everyone? ! You double-checker! Raya, instantly connect Sorokin with the 5th SMU, and say they must return the machines NOW! Watch how you poke those fingers. This is still my office! --FOR NOW! --And no need to yell at me I can also shout so the windows will shatter --You're with them, dammit! --Why are you intimidating me? Why do you all try to intimidate me? Look at you, commandeering around here His wife busted him, so we all have to tip-toe around your hysterical persona --That's personal! --Do excuse me... My mother-in-law tore out a lump of hair from my head on Wednesday? You know about that? Does anyone? NO! Did it show in my work? No! Because I keep myself in check --I don't mix personal with professional --Valentin Maximovich, 7th SMU is on the line Raya, I am not here. Here, have some. From Finland. You can bring me some in the evening. Why are you staring? Take. I know where to get more. And one more thing. Use words. They mostly care about words "Little chicken, little birdie..." Raya dear, 2 teas please --Buying me off? --Please, like I'd bother with that Pavel Ivanovich! It was Vladimir Nikolaevich's order I just came from his office. Wish I never did. Know what he said to me? --That it doesn't fit the place --Fine. Let's see if he's in the right place! Don't get into it! --Raya, please connect me with the birdie --Sorry, with whom? Forgive me, my head is all confused. With my wife. --Bobylev! --Pavel Ivanovich, it's my lunch hour now... --Drive me to the city council --Of course. With pleasure. I thought I'd run out and find a bumper during lunch It's in my garage. I came there, but I forgot my key --It was in my coat --Hey there, Pavel! --I need to see you --Hi. Bad timing, come by later Listen, what did you say to my dad? That I stole some bar of soap from you...? Forgot? I'll remind you. May 1943, Boys Village in Amur Region My soap vanished in the morning. In the evening you brought a bottle of booze. --What "Boys"? --Where we were demoted together That girl Manja gave it to me. Remember, the one with the braid? --Why did she give you the booze? --What? For soap? --What else? ! And you kept it for 40 years? Bobylev, have some tact. No, just remembered it this morning. Saw your daddy-o and remembered. Like father like son. Degenerates Wait, little hampster Here you go. Go buy yourself some soap. Wash the dirt off. Bobylev. See that? Childhood friend. Let's go. And this one... get acquainted... --Pavel, I was just... --This is Dina, a friend of the family --Hello --Come this way please --Pavlik! This is Elena Kirilovna. You probably don't know her. Stay in there, snowqueen. Take rest, snake. These 2 dames try to get rid of me by sending me to shrinks --Looky here! --Pavel, what shrinks This turkey, professor Sklyansky him you know. He lectures alcoholics on television. --Let's go. --An totally normal jerk! Pavel! --Oh Lord! --Bye Poor man! Heart problems, Pavel Ivanovich? --Do you have a pen? --Left it at work And garage keys, too. Can we stop over and get those keys? --My new bumper is there... Bobylev... If we open up your brain, what will we find there? --Brains. --A bumper! --One ball-point pen, please --Can you read, sir? It says we're on break from 14:00 to 15:00 It's 15:00 now Can you hear the music? When it's over, that's when it's 15:00 Lady, there's 3.5 billion of us on this tiny planet We can reach out and touch each other with our hand. But we live as if the entire universe separates us! I am speaking to you from Venus and you cannot hear me on Mars And I shout over to you, lady, darling, sweetheart... please sell me that ball-point pen for 37 cents! I really need it. My life depends on it. And what? How can one live this way? What for? Get in line, sir. --What do you want, boy? --An eraser. 5 cents --You? --The complaint book And a pen. You may be from Venus. But I am not from Mars. Think I'll give you a pen so you can write that I never gave you one? I request your attention! I was not given a pen, so I will express it orally Vladimir Nikolaevich, if you do not instantly cancel your order to halt garage demolition then I am instantly going into retirement. I am counting to three One! Two! ... Pavel Ivanovich, this doesn't seem to be the time or the place to discuss this issue. No, it is! I am counting. Two Two and a half Three! Three and a half... Pavel Ivanovich, nobody can take away your right to your lawful rest... Pavel Ivanovich... Pavel Ivanovich Our car is over there... --Where to now? Back to work? --Home? --I have no home, Bobylev How about my place? There's no one there. We can watch hockey. Doesn't matter --I am leaving you all --Where to? Where to? To take Sorokin's place? Just my own Where once was a feast There now stands a coffin... What? --An aimless coffin --Sorry, which coffin? No. Hold it, Bobylev! Anyutin Lane! I can't pay them all back. But I will return one small debt. Stop. Make a left --There's a ditch there. Take pity on the vehicle. --I said, go left! Faster, faster. Why are you crawling? --Now what? --A puddle. Need to check its depth. Give me the steering wheel! Step on it. We'll cross it by accelerating I tell you like an ex-tank driver, step on it hard. There we are. I didn't get a chance to buy insurance on it. Oh, Bobylev. Can't even entrust you with a simple task. And to think we're leaving the nation in your generation's hands... Open the door for me. Why do you sit there like an ass? Give it a rest, Pavel Ivanovich. I am not your lackey. --I'm an engineer. --Engineer? ! Where did you get the money to buy this car? My dad gave me the money. --And who's your dad? --A lieutenant colonel Which division? Oh, whatever. Do what you people want. I no longer give a damn. About everything. Anyutin Lane. Taken Stop --Where is "she"? --She? --I don't know when they woke up --The rope you hid from him, where is it? --Oh...it's here in the kitchen --Give it to me. --Here --Thanks You're welcome. I am so glad you arrived. You spoke so strangely on the phone. --I must inform you in advance... --No need. See, Sasha speaks of you in not so flattering terms. But please pay no mind to it. Please give me the knife. --Here you go... --Thanks. Hold here. --Well hold it! --I am... --Where is he? --In his room. --No, no, this room is mine --Where do I go? Right this way, please --Thanks --Sure Sasha, see, Pavel Ivanovich arrived in person. That hook --A hook... --What was here? --A chandelier --What kind? --Crystal, with attachments --It was sold during the war. --Please hand me a pen and paper --Got any other kind of paper? --No. Only the graph paper. --Aleksandr Ivanovich Ermakov --Move away please Alright See, Sasha. He'll sign the permission, I'll go get Nastya, and all will be well. You already brought one here. That's quite enough. Shame on you. What are you doing? By the way, I'll tell you as a woman... Citizen, the note is in my pocket. Don't forget. --Be so kind as to give me a chair --Pavel Ivanovich, why do you bother? --I kindly ask you. --We can do it ourselves... --Thank you --You're welcome And hand me the rope, please. --Thanks --Sure --Take this --Thanks Be careful. You're too heavy for this shaky table. --Move away please --Where to? --There You wanted to hang yourself and be a burden on my conscience It won't work, Ermakov. No! But I can do much better! I kill human beings, sending them back to where they came from or I take their sight of the sun by blinding them. I decide who lives and who dies the city that I will build! I will create an immortal Rome! Not even the mighty Olympus will not be able to prevent the birth of this city! Oh mighty Cesar. Now I know, that you are mad. Mad? Why? Because I take what I want without asking? Because I have everyone executed who hates or betrays me? I simply wipe away the worms which are attracted by the fetidness of their souls and which they try to hide under their tunicas. No Petreius, I'm not mad. I am free! I am the only free man in the world! That's the reason why they hate me. Petreius: Why do you stay with me? Why don't you simply leave me to my solitude? Because I love you, like my own son. You love me? Like your son? I love you, too! Where are you? I can live with the election of Claudius Tiberius but he must restore all our privileges. Don't worry. Claudius will do anything we want. But we still didn't solve one problem:... Who is going to kill Caligula? And how will it happen? I'll take care of this problem. I know who is going to kill Caligula. Who will kill that monster! Checkmate. What news of marathon? Will Greece be saved? The Persian sun will pass. my brave heart. Stop it, Daddy, stop it. Hey, Dad, come on upstairs and we can play my new electronic game I bought. Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy. Oh, come on. I don't think that's a good idea. - Why not? - Well, I just don't. mom could play with us. Um, I don't think she would. Why not? Well, you see, it's like plants. There's a time and a season for things to grow and bloom and then they fade and die away. Your mother and I have, uh, been through a lot of seasons together. You mean you just don't like each other. No, no, no, no, I don't mean that. Well, you don't. No, we don't. Why not? I'm not the man that she wanted me to be. And she's not the woman I fell in love with. We both fell in love with a picture-- in our heads. Not with each other. Am I just a picture in your head? No, no, no, no. You're the only thing I love in this world. I don't want to go. I know. [sobs] Do I have to? Well, it'll be a great vacation for you. Yeah, who wants to go out west? Oh, what do you mean? Arizona, Death Valley-- all those horses and cowboys and Indians. Yeah, bang, bang-- great. Your mother's got a friend out there. She told me. You might like him. Well, you might. Billy, she's lonely. She's doing the best she can. I-- We're doing- - I-- Daddy? I love you, Daddy. Oh, I love you too. Listen, will you write me a postcard? Sure. [jet engine roaring] [Woman on PA System] Continental Airlines announces the arrival of flight 51, - service from New York to Chicago. - [baby crying] Passengers now deplaning at gate 24. Enjoy your stay. Thanks, had a great flight. Enjoy your stay in Phoenix. mom, he's here. Be careful, Billy. Are you sure we're going to see Death Valley? Yes, I'm sure. Hi. mmm. Man, I missed you. I missed you too. - Yeah? - Yeah. Well, how was your flight? Uh, it was okay, it was okay. I just wanted to get here, though. [electronic beeping] Oh, Billy, Billy, this is Mike. mike, this is Billy. Hi there, Billy, how ya doing? Glad to meet you. I heard a lot about you. Oh, here. I'll take it, it's my mom's. Okay. Well, uh, how was your trip? Fine. Uh, did ya sit by the window? Yeah. Billy, tell Mike what you saw. I don't know, a bunch of clouds. Billy, come on, you saw the Grand Canyon. Hey, hey, you saw the Grand Canyon? We're going to see the Grand Canyon from the ground, up close. Really, it's one of the most spectacular sights in the whole world. So is Central Park. Are we going to spend our whole vacation here? No, I'm with you, come on. Wait 'til you see the trip I got planned for us. - You're going to love it. - I hope so. Listen to me, I'm telling you this city has grown a whole lot since you've left here. - I can tell, it's amazing. - Oh, yeah. I sell some lots, you know. I sold some parcels out here. I've contributed to its growth. - Really? - Oh, yeah. - Big, big lots? - Oh, yeah, oh, huge. Say, uh, hey, Billy, look up there. See that building up there? That's where your mother and I went to high school. [woman] Do you see it, Billy? Remember, I told you those stories? Yeah. Hey, well my dad's a professor at Princeton. Oh, yeah, great. Well, he's not exactly a full professor. [woman] Anyway, I really wanted to go to New york. And then after I was there a while, I don't know, I kind of wanted to come home again. Even when I went to New York to visit you, I missed it. It's not that I didn't have a good time, but, uh, this is really home. [woman] I know exactly what you mean. Like, do you remem-- well, you probably don't remember when I won that silly contest, Miss, um-- oh, what was the-- miss Orange Blossom? Yeah, um, Orange Growers Association. How did you remember the name of that contest? Listen, I took your picture for the paper, remember? As a matter of fact, that's when I started to fall in love with you. You look terrific, Billy. Yeah, a real cowboy. Right, mom? Very funny, get in the car. You're hard to please. Try to be nice to him, Billy. Okay, I'll try. That's my pal. Here you go. We're going into gold mine country, full of claim jumpers. You're going to need that. That's the same kind of gun that William H. Bonney, better known as Billy the Kid, used in 1875 when he shot it out with the James Boys. The James Boys didn't have anything to do with Billy the Kid. And this model didn't come out until ten years after Billy the Kid was gunned down by Pat Garrett. You're welcome, Billy. [tires screech] [woman sighs] [male announcer on radio] Sunny skies again today here in Death Valley. [male announcer #2] Bringing you the tops in country favorites-- [changing stations] [female singing country music] ♪ you hold my chair ♪ ♪ And whisper in my ear ♪ ♪ Those pretty words ♪ ♪ A woman loves to hear ♪ ♪ But love is more than just a broken record of romance ♪ - ♪ i've got a funny feeling ♪ -[electronic beeping] ♪ it's the same old song and dance ♪ Hey Billy, see these hills here? This used to be gold mine country. And, um, abandoned mine shafts all up and down here. ♪ And you make your proposition ♪ ♪ And it's the same old song and dance... ♪ [woman] How did you know all about this? [indistinct conversation] [Mike] How about it, Billy, you want to see a gold mine? [Mike] What do you say, Billy? Billy, what do you say? Sure. There's no gold here. It's just a lot of junk. Come on, let's go have some lunch, and get out of here. [radio playing country music] ♪ A thousand miles from home ♪ ♪ i know i heard my mom and dad ♪ ♪ But Lord knows how i love them ♪ ♪ Leaving home the way i did was wrong ♪ ♪ My dad was right when he told me ♪ ♪ i was headed straight for ruin... ♪ Donny, you hungry? ♪ A thousand miles from home ♪ ♪ I would go back ♪ ♪ But how could I begin to face Virginia ♪ ♪ Who gave me love better some guys never know ♪ ♪ I could send them a picture ♪ ♪ Simply signed Daddy's dead ♪ ♪ But some how that don't seem right ♪ ♪ A thousand miles from home ♪ ♪ oh, what I'd give if I could only be there Sunday morning ♪ ♪ In a little white framed church ♪ ♪ With all the friends I've known ♪ ♪ Singing Amazing Grace ♪ ♪ And going home to Sunday dinner ♪ ♪ That sounds a lot like heaven ♪ ♪ A thousand miles from home ♪ I thought you were tired. ♪ That sounds a lot like heaven ♪ ♪ A thousand miles from home. ♪ [Male radio announcer] Here's Mo Mitchell and her recipe of the day. Donnie! No. Please, no. [screams] Well, here we are. Gold mine country. - mom? - Yeah. Can I go look around? Um, I don't know, Mike, what do you think, is it safe? Yeah, it's all right, go ahead. But don't go too far. Thanks. Bye. Anybody home? [flies buzzing] You know, you just can't come walking in to somebody's motorhome like this. Sorry, Mike. mom? Yeah. Hey, what's the matter, Billy? Never mind. Is it mike? Do you like him more than Dad? Billy, I like them both in different ways. I'll always have strong feelings for your dad 'cause he gave me you, didn't he? Yeah, well, Dad's better looking, and he's smarter. Well, Mike's real smart too, he really is. Are you going to marry him? I don't know. A whole lot depends on you, partner. If you do, we have to move to Arizona, and I'll miss my friends, and I'll never see Dad. Well, you'll see your father. He'll come down all the time and you can go up and visit him, really. You like him, don't you? Yeah, I do. Billy, just promise me that you'll give Mike a chance. I mean, that's all he wants. Well, I'll try. That's all I wanted to hear. I love you. I don't know about you, but I'm starved. I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse. This place, it's probably on the menu. [woman laughs] Come on. Hey, what's the joke here? Are you hungry enough to eat a horse? Uh, you bet. This place, it's probably on the menu. Well, we'll work on it. I'll tell you, Billy, the red chili's the best thing they have here. When you eat it you feel like you're out on the range eating' off a chuck wagon. I want a hamburger, fries, and a Coke. Howdy, folks. Hi. - Having a good trip? - Yep. I'm Hal, I'll be your waiter. Yeah. And, uh, have you decided what you'd like? Uh, not quite. Well, take your time. We got nothing but time in the off-season. Billy? Billy, bet I know what you'd like. [coughs] You'd like a burger, French fries, and a Coke. Yeah. [whispers] Yeah. That's right. - And I guess we'll have the chili? - Yep. Two large bowls of chili and, uh, I'd like some milk. I'll have some orange juice. That's it. That'll do it? And do you know how you'd like that? Rare. Rare. Well, you got it. Billy, what's the matter with you? Nothing. [man] Okay, fellas, when you put that away, come back and give us a hand over here. Okay, Art, you got it. Get ready, Charlie. All right, Charlie, start that winch. It's coming. It's coming. Hey, that's the RV we saw this morning. Yeah, I think you're right, Billy. Maybe I better go up there and tell that sheriff about that. You guys stay in the car. Hold it, Charlie. Hold it a bit, hold it. All right, all right, give it to 'em. Hey, keep those kids away, will ya? Get those kids out of there. I'll call you if I need you. Pardon me, officer. Suppose someone sort of found something, then later on, it turned out to be important. What's "sort of found something"? Is it anything like stole something? Suppose it did, what would the police do? I don't know, lock 'em up for 99 years? Billy, did you steal something from the hotel? Yeah, well, I wish I could tell you more, but that's all I know. Well, you helped a lot. At least now I know when that outfit was in Gold mine Canyon. Yeah, that's good. Sheriff, I saw that RV today. I know you did. Listen, I told him all about it already. No, you didn't. Sheriff, I stole something from that RV. And now I want to turn myself in, even if it means 99 years. Well, why don't you just give me back what you stole and maybe we can skip the 99 years. On the other hand, stealing is a pretty serious matter. maybe you and me ought to have a little private talk about it. Sheriff, it's you and I, not you and me. Well, whatever. Listen, I want you to tell me everything you know about this medallion. There was this man at the hotel. He's a waiter. He was wearing one just like it. - Is that right? - Yeah. And by the van, there was this long old car with bullets in the front. It was following us [stutters] and then I saw it there. Well, now that is something. Will I be called as a witness in the trial? Well, it's a possibility. But right now, I want you to do me a favor, okay? I want you and your folks to go right on down there and have a real good time at that frontier town. Will you do that? How did you know we were going there? I'm the sheriff. It's my business to know such things. Besides, this road only goes to one place. Now, you folks have a good time down there, you hear? - Thank you. - This'll be cleared up in no time. Great. Thanks, sheriff. [Mike] Thanks a lot. Come on, Bills. He's back at it again, Perry. That girl's cut the same way as those two last year. Earl, why don't you just haul this stuff to town and stop playing coroner? You know it's the same. You ain't no closer to catching him now than you was then. I know. But your blabbing about it ain't going to do nothing except maybe scare folks around town half to death. Now, will you get that stuff out of there? I got something I got to do. You're too old for this job, Sheriff. [chattering, laughing] Hey, Billy, how about it, huh? Sure, Mom. Hold it. Draw, sidewinder, or I'll kill you where you stand. You got your iron there. You better pull it, or I'm going to blow you apart. [cap pistol fires] [laughs] Got to watch out for these varmints. Thanks, Sheriff. Hey, that's great. That'll be a buck, thank you. Oh. I got it. - Thank you. - Yeah. Well, pretty good shooting, Billy. Hello, the house. Anybody home? [man] Come on in. I'm in the kitchen. Hi, perry, how you doing? Saw you drive up. Just fixing myself something to eat, come on in. It smells great. - You hungry? - No, I just ate. Uh, what are you cooking? Uh, sit down. How do you like the place? You haven't been over here since Daddy died, have you? - No. - I fixed the place up. Cost me an arm and a leg. Well, I'll bet it did. I'll tell ya, things are gettin' so expensive, I don't know what I'll be able to afford. I don't work. maybe I need a secretary. I used to love canned peaches. I can't afford 'em anymore. No way I could buy those. Where's Stu? Now, Stu's over at the Bullfrog. What's he doin'? Well, you know what he's doing. Is he looking for gold? Well, wouldn't be too far off. No gold over there. Okay, tell people that. That's a good story, you keep telling people that. Hasn't been any gold over there for 60 years. I watched your dad work that worthless hole for 50 years, and all he come out of there with was a sore back. There's no gold over there. Okay, that's-- that's a good story, Perry. Tell 'em forget about the gold and go for clip and save. Do you use clip and save? No. You don't use this stuff because you're on the county payroll, right? You don't need to. But some of us are finding it a little hard to get by these days. This is a good one. You can get 75 cents off on a six-pack. You spend much time around Greenwater Gulley? No. Not since I was a kid. You know, Earl and I pulled an RV out of there this afternoon. mm-hmm? Three people in it, cut up. Just like them others we found over the years. [sighs] I don't understand. Some lunatic running around here. It makes me sick. Look at these prices-- 35, 20, 35. There's some good stuff here. You know, a little kid that's staying over at the motel found this medallion. I thought it was yours, but I see you're wearing yours. Where did you find that? A little kid found it in the RV. That's not mine. I see that. That's Stu's. Well, give it back to him. Oh, Stu's going to be happy about this. Look at that. Where do you think that came from? - I don't know-- - See the work in that? Think anybody does anything like that these days? You know how much that's worth? You know what gold is these days? You know where it's going? [chuckles] Nobody knows where it's going. I'll tell ya, people are gettin' the fever for it now. Everybody's looking for it. Everybody wants it, everybody's after it. You know, you could help me, if you would, you and Stu. Sure. I got to go back over to the gulley and look around, and you guys know that country better than anybody. I thought maybe if you'd ride over with me and help me look around, we might come up with something. - Well, you want to go look around? - Yeah. Sure, that's no problem. - The kid's at the motel? - Yeah. What's his name? I- - I got it written down out in the car. Okay, well, let's stop by the motel because I'd like to thank the kid. Now, that's unusual-- somebody who'd do something like that, something worth that much. Yeah, and we'll swing by and pick up Stu at the Bullfrog. Yeah. I gotta get a shirt. Shirt. Have you redone the bedroom? You like it? Yeah, it looks fine. Okay, you go ahead, I'll get the door. Okay. [gunshots] [caps firing] [woman] Bravo! Bravo! Got it. Well, I could just tell that's going to be a terrific shot. - You think so? - Uh-huh. - mom? - Yeah. Can I go to the museum? Sure. Hey, yeah, that's a good idea. You got your gun? Yeah. I'm going to go in there like Billy the Kid and plug anyone that gets in my way. - Right, Mike? - Hey, Billy. - Well... - Sorry, mom. Well, go on, have a good time. Thanks, mom. [gunshots] You know, in spite of what you think, I think he's starting to warm up to ya. Well, yeah, he's got a funny way of showing it, though. I know, but it's-- it's just going to take time, Mike. Yeah. [woman sighs] - You having a good time so far? - Sure. Really? Yeah. I'll buy you a beer. - Yeah? - Yeah. - I could use one. - maybe two if you're nice to me. - Or three. - [woman laughs] You're not getting too tired to take me out tonight, are you? Uh, alone? - mm-hmm. - No. You think you can handle it? Yeah, I think I can. [gunshots] Oh, hey, that's really a good shot, don't you think? Yeah. [pianola playing] Keep playing. You heard what I said, keep playing. I told you I never wanted to see you in these parts again, Black Bart. I'll have to blow you away. [fires cap gun] I got you, fall down. Okay, you want to play? I'll play with you. Come on out. Let's see if your gun's as loud as your mouth, Sheriff. I'll pick where to make my stand. [fires and giggles] Hold it. Smile, cowboy. I got it, Harry. [laughs] [Billy] Bang, bang, bang! Whoo-hoo. mom, you should of seen it. This outlaw chased me all over and then he tried to shoot me. But he shot the head right off this fake Indian. - Were you scared? - No. Hey, I told you you'd like it. Thanks for bringing me, Mom, it's excellent. Well, here you go, you guys. Uh, I'm gonna go upstairs for a while, I think. You have a good time, okay? Uh, say, uh, I think we ought to talk. See, uh... I know this is real hard on you. It's not too easy for me either. You're probably wondering, who's this funny guy in cowboy boots that's taking you on a vacation. You're not sure what... is happening. I want us to be friends. I know your mother's divorced. You're not sure what happened. I'm very fond of your mother. I want her to be happy. I want you to be happy. I'd like to be happy. See, I know your father's real smart and he's a professor and, uh, that's real good. I'm not trying to replace your father. But, uh, you know, I'm pretty smart too. I sell property around here. I sell desert land to Arabs. That's pretty hard. I'm trying to make this all work out between us. If you give me a chance, maybe it will. Well, what do you say? Yeah, well, you should think it over, okay? Okay, now, let me warn you, he's going to try to get away with murder. I've seen him reduce really experienced babysitters to mush in one night. I've got a little brother like that. [mother] you do? How do you handle him? Either I ignore him or I sock him. - [laughs] - ["'The Sunset Trail"' playing on TV] Hey, look, he likes ice cream, so later on, if the two of you want some, here's some money. - Thanks. - You're welcome. - Hey, are you decent? - [men singing on TV] Uh, yeah, well, I'm dressed. Oh, good. Let's get this show on the road. Okay. [men singing on TV continues] Good night, Billy, I hate you. - I hate you too. - I hate you three. Have a terrible time. [men singing on TV continues] Good night, Billy. [men yip and holler on TV] Good night, Mike. [bell ringing on TV] [Taterbug] Come on, will you, start this resignation. [Jim] No, no use, Taterbug, that kid's got to get his schooling, that's all there is to it. [Taterbug] We could find a place in Dusty Bend. That's the town near the Circle J Ranch, where we'd be workin'. Listen here, old partner-- But not tied down like a couple of old women, cooped up - in an office, and for what? - [babysitter sighs] For an ornery, no-account brat of a kid. Would you like some chocolate? Sure. Thanks. [Jim] That's just what he is, an ornery, no good, interfering brat. [Taterbug] Hey, look here, you got no right to be talking - about Buddy like that. - [Jim] Haven't I? [Jim] Say, listen, I'll put him in an orphan's home. That's what I'll do, that's just where he belongs. [Taterbug] No, he don't, and you nor nobody else will put that kid in an orphan"s home. What do you think of that? [Jim] Well, what are you going to do with him then? [Taterbug] Well, I would-- well, doggone. Quit this pen-pushing job and get back to work with self-respecting range-bred fellas ought to be doing. [Jim] What've you been up to, Taterbug? [Taterbug] Seen in the Abilene Cattleman's Journal calling for cow hands over in the Dusty Bend country. And I answered it. And there's a job waiting there for both of us. [Jim] But I'd rather be dumb than be an old, fussy fossil... You going to eat these chips? No. Okay if I...? Sure. Thanks. [Jim] yes. And you're dead set on the kid being educated? That Stoneset Trail Company is no place for a kid to get his schooling', is it? Besides, I'm tickled to death right where I am. [Taterbug] Yes, you are. Say, old time, will you watch the office for a little while? I want to run out and throw him a little hay at darts. [Taterbug] Well, at least he's got horse sense. That's more than you've got. [Jim] All right, crab. [male singer] ♪ When does a woman know ♪ ♪ That she's made up her mind? ♪ ♪ When does her love finally show? ♪ ♪ When can she tell ♪ ♪ Now is the time? ♪ ♪ When does she see ♪ ♪ What her love can be ♪ ♪ And where it can go? ♪ ♪ It all depends ♪ ♪ Where love should begin ♪ ♪ Tell me-- ♪ [Jim] That hombre that crossed me this afternoon is headin' right in to my trap. [Man] Mmm, be sure there's no slip up this time. [gunshot] [gunfire continues on TV] How about some ice cream? Banana split. I'll be right back. I hate the scary part. Them fellas I was messin' with this afternoon may be layin' for me. Yeah? Yeah, let's slip around and go in through the shadow of the buildings. I'll take the one with the white hat. [caps firing] [Taterbug] Well, I guess those guys won't shoot anybody else from behind. [Jim] Tater, take these hombres along the horses. [Billy makes whinny sound] [machine hums, dispenses ice] [woman singing country music] Just for an adventure, I'll drink. Turn, my ass. Those people were dead before they ever left the road. How can you drive an RV stacked in a closet with about 800 stab wounds in ya? Another murder made to look like accident. That's, uh, that's five in two years. Sheriff knows who did it. I saw him going down to Peterson's a little while ago with some evidence some kid gave him. He found it in an RV or something down there. Those Peterson's will probably get that kid. What kid? Some damn tourist kid, I don't know. [Man on the phone] Yeah. Yeah. You know, a sky pilot once said that angels carried messages up to heaven, Buddy. He might tell him. Come on, don't cry anymore. [Buddy] All right, I won't cry no more. [Jim] Buddy, look here, you got to buck up and be a little man now. If Tater knows you was crying about him that way, he'd feel awful bad. - Good morning. - Good morning, Miss Molly. [Molly] ...how many people we should notify? [Jim] I guess me and Buddy... Hi, Billy. Go away. What'd you do that for, Billy? Now you've got yourself stuck in there. - Just be quiet and go away. - [phone ringing] [continues ringing] It's the telephone. Billy? It's for you. I don't care, answer it. I'll tell you somethin', Billy. What? You got a hollow door here. It's made in Japan. Billy, I could bust through this really easy, but it would cause a mess. So, what I could do is-- I can get the molding off, and I think that's the way to go. [opens knife] Are you all right in there? Well, we got a little problem here, but I"ll get you out. Just stay calm in there, remember, most accidents happen in the home. There it is. I don't believe that they use doors like this. I'll get you out. As easy as pie. Be careful of that water now. when you're in the desert. I'll have you out of there in a second. There we go. Now just one little push and we're home free. Help! Help! Help! [car starts] Billy? Where are you, Billy? Come on out. Let's play. [singing indistinctly] I miss you, Daddy. Daddy! Oh, Billy! Billy! Billy? Billy! Billy! Billy! [Mike] I think I know how to find him, take it easy. my son is missing. Come on, how do you get out to the Peterson place? Tell us. What do you want to go out there for? - Because he's got my son. - Just tell us how to get out there! Well, it's east on the highway, left on State Road G about a mile. It's about a quarter of a mile from the Desert Castle. All right, now, now, call the sheriff. Will ya, just tell the sheriff we're going out there, come on. ♪ Oh, where have you been, Billy boy, Billy boy? ♪ ♪ Oh where have you been... ♪ [male radio announcer] All yours for only $59.95 at Bob's. That's right, Bob's Bar Stools and Dinettes, Highway I-26 at Quano Road. Ask for me, Bob Chatsky. Thank you. That's right, Bob. Yeah, I want some of those bar stools and dinettes. Yeah, this inflation's killing me. Don't leave home without 'em. ♪ Reach out, reach out and touch someone ♪ ♪ Reach out, reach out and just say hi ♪ ♪ Oh, where have you been, Billy boy, Billy boy? ♪ ♪ Oh, where have you been ♪ ♪ I have been to take a wife ♪ ♪ She's the joy of my life ♪ ♪ She's a young girl ♪ ♪ And cannot leave... ♪ [male radio announcer] ...for this year's championship! Bring the kids! Bring the whole family! Tickets are available at the box office, or at all ticket outlets. Can't you go any faster? [pounding] - Are you all right? - Yeah. Billy? mom? mike? mom? mom! Billy, oh. He's out there! He's out there! [shotgun blasts] [both scream] Behind the sofa, quick. [loud metallic thumping] We're all after our gold, Daddy. A little Savoy in New york, Daddy. 5:04 in London. They won't bother us anymore. Papa, I'm dancing on the roof! And there ain't nothin' you can do about it! -[gunshot] -[screams] I'll get 'em, Daddy! [Billy screams] [screams] mom! Mom! Let's go. What are we going to do? I don't know. Let's try this car. No, no, no, no, please, please, I don't want to go in that one. Please, Mom, please, I don't want to go in that one. Please, Mom, please, I don't want to go. All right. Let's go down the road, see if we can get in that tourist castle we passed. It'll be okay, Billy. mike'll take us home now. [bell rings] Back, go on. - Let's find a phone. - Okay. Uh, operator, get me the highway patrol, please. How do you feel? Aw, I'm all right. You okay? Yeah, I'm okay. [car honks] Is that them already? Uh, you guys stay here. I'm gonna go down there and talk to 'em. - It'll be all right. - Okay. How ya doing, Billy? Okay. [woman] Mike, what's the matter? Mike, tell me what's wrong? [woman screams] Mike! mike, look out! oh, please, no. oh, no, please leave us alone. We haven't done anything. Billy, no. Billy! Billy, run! Run, Billy, run! [car starts] [car horn honks] [honking continues] mom! Mom! Are you okay? [whispers] It's okay, baby. Have you seen this lately? One good squeeze and it'll come apart in your hands! It's not as easy as that. I've t--t--tried. Granville! Fetch a d--d--dry cloth! - - Did M--Mrs Gillespie come for her bread? - - Aye, yesterday, about tea--time. There's no p--pattern to the movements of that woman. She's very irregular for someone that buys s--so much Ex--Lax! Does it matter when she comes? Does it matter? D--Does it matter? Course it matters! It's only one loaf! Sometimes it happens to be the l--l--last loaf on the shelf. Customer comes in and says, "I'll take that last loaf off you." And I have to turn down a sale. Do you realise wh--what it does to a shopkeeper to turn down a sale? I know what it does to you. You get nasty. That is a secondary symptom. The first thing that happens is m--me top lip goes numb. It goes absolutely lifeless. It lies there as dead as if it had been n--nationalised. - - Me moustache loses all its lustre. - - It's looked like that for years! Never! It's been very lively in its time, has this moustache. No, it's me lips where rigor mortis s--suddenly sets in. Well, they're due for a rest, anyway! It's not funny, Granville! It's a hell of a place for something to die on you, right under your nose! A very peculiar sensation. L--l--I have... I have d--difficulty f--f--formulating my words. Really? I'm sure it's not noticeable! Me finger ends get all constricted. Tried taking them out of the pockets? I don't g--go around with my hands in me p--pockets! Not your pockets -- other people's pockets! Listen, if you want to succeed in business, you have to have a streak of ruthlessness. Either that or a rich wife! You couldn't get a rich wife if you didn't have a r--ruthless streak. The size of your streak, you'll be lucky to get any wife at all! You haven't got one yet, have you? No, but I've got one on order, haven't I? It's just a question of arranging delivery. No, she'll never name the day while she's got her old m--mother living with her. It's a pity her mother can't f--find somewhere to live p--permanently, you know. Like heaven, for instance! - - There we are, sir. Thank you. - - Thank you. A certain steel in the make--up is part of the basic equipment of the shopkeeper. You wouldn't like to be without part of your b--basic equipment. No, it could be very embarrassing at my age. It certainly could. You could lose most of your basic equipment standing here! I'll have to s--slacken that spring off. You keep saying that, but you never do. Well, these little p--pound notes, Granville, they've been swapped around and passed from hand to hand all their lives. They've never known a stable home. It's up to us to keep them snug and cosy now that they're here. No, this may not be a palace, Granville, but there's nowhere they'd be more appreciated. You may think I'm an old m--miser, Granville, and you're at liberty to say so. Though it might get you a swift boot b--behind the bacon counter. There we are. Is that for me? Oh! Ta! You have to remember, Granville, that it is my heavy responsibility to train you to one day take over this entire empire. When I see you standing there with them big soft eyes and ice cream all down your front and round your mouth, I just have to... I just have to... Oh, God! - - What have I done? - - What have you done? It's time for a bit of advanced training. I've got to get a bit of steel into you. It's no good g--going through life laying back and letting things happen to you... like your mother used to! Oh, 'eck! I've been sweeping round these things for two years! Why don't you give up on these, eh? You're never gonna get rid of these. Who's gonna buy these? Don't worry about them. They're too advanced for you. Stick to basics like how the h--hell you're gonna pay for that ice cream. You know, you can't just drag people into the shop. This is not dragging 'em in. It's propelling 'em in this direction as if by accident. - - All right, show me. - - You've seen me do it often enough. I've always been too embarrassed to watch. It's not a case of embarrassment. It's a test of skill. Well, I hope this section never gets published in me biography. I'm warning you, if ever I become famous, well, one day, I want absolutely no reference to this. I see. Ashamed of it, are you? Let's just say I'd prefer to gloss over this period of my life with a simple paragraph that reads, "For a while he was employed in a minor executive capacity "in a commercial...enterprise..." What happens if they're bigger than me, like him? You're not going to wrestle with him! All you're gonna do is use a bit of psychology. - - Show me. - - Granville, it's simple enough. I'll show you this last once and then it's y--your turn. I'd like to try on something a bit smaller. Don't be silly. The bigger they are, the harder they spend. Pay attention. Make sure he is going to pass the shop. If he's coming in anyway, you're wasting your time. No, it's too late once they've passed the shop. He'll be away. It's never too late. You catch him at the warehouse door as they pass the back. You go out there, and if he goes round the corner, stamp your foot. - - Stamp me foot? - - You know what stamping your foot is. Like that! Missed him. Obviously missed him. The one thing I hate is grit in the eye. The tiniest speck feels like a d--dormer bungalow! You want to wet the corner of your handkerchief. I can't see anything. It must be catching. Don't tell me you're going blind and all! Sometimes if you bring your top down and waggle the bottom. Who do you think I am, Gypsy Rose Lee? Oh! Hey, it works. It's gone, Granville! Oh, it's gone. What a relief! Oh, that's wonderful. Now, what can we give this young man to show our appreciation? - - Give? - - You don't have to give me anything. - - You'd do the same for me. - - Too proud to accept charity, Granville. Well, put it this way. What bargains can we put him onto to show our appreciation? Th--There we are, sir. - - Compliments of the management. - - You've been very good. There's someone up there that sees everything we do. I know, I know. It's that Mrs Harris - - I saw her peering out of her bedroom window. 'Ey up. Here comes Mrs Ellis and that Mrs Turner. Here's your chance. Try and sell them something extra. Let's see a bit of salesmanship. She's as bad. She'd pass you on the street. They're no good once they've been to Majorca. Brown. All she thinks about is being brown. And nearly everywhere, if you believe what he says next door. Well, who's got a better view? 20 Navy Cut, please. Same for me, Granville. And a box of matches? (HE MOUTHS) Too much sun dries the skin. It's very destructive. - - I go blotchy. - - She'll wish she'd kept more clothes on. And here, where me bra finishes, it always starts to peel. It's further down where it gets me. I can stand hardly any exposure round me navel. Me skin goes all crisp. Top of me thighs is where I get it. It's the ultra--violet, according to that friend of our Edmund. He should know. He's as big a violet as I've ever seen! - - How is your Edmund? - - Don't ask! That's 20 Navel... Er, Navy! Navy Cut for you, Mrs Turner, and for you, Mrs Ellis. - - Thank you. - - You get worse, Granville. - - Keep taking the pills, Granville! - - And who is she browning herself for, is a question that springs to the lips. It can't be her husband. Have you seen him? It's the way he walks. Nobody's going brown all over just for him. Can you imagine him with nothing on? I bet we'd have to if we saw him with nothing on! He's fixed her up with some wonderful kitchen units. Has he? - - What are you glaring at me for? - - What am I g--glaring at you for? Look at all them opportunities you missed! They only came in for cigarettes. That's all they ever come in for. What they come in for is up to them. What they go out with is up to us! Can't get a word in edgewise with them two. They never listen. - - You make up for that, then! - - Hmm? - - Don't know what you mean. - - Listening to the gossip! I can't help overhearing a certain amount. Over--over--overhearing? ! Your lugs were f--flapping about like radar! There was me with me arms windmilling about trying to persuade you to m--make a sale. Oh, is that what you were doing? Making a sail for your windmill. A sail for your w... Aghh! Ow! - - Now, you're g--g--going to get on with it. - - What are you doing with that lad's ear? It's the only place to handle s--small dogs and errand boys. With due regard to the conventions, where else would I take hold of an errand boy? Poor lad! You've made it all red. - - It feels longer. Is it longer? - - You leave him alone. He's got very shapely, delicate, small ears. "Delicate"? They're like d--dustbin lorries. He goes round picking up every bit of rubbish he can lay his lobes on! They're a lot nicer ears than many I've had to see to. Now, listen. As the person you're supposed to be engaged to, I don't much like this comparison of some of the things you've had to see to! And I can well understand why! "And I can well understand why." Granville, now listen. Stand there. The minute Nurse Gladys Emanuel goes into her house, you're out again on the street. Oh, dear. Look, she's been caught by Mrs Pendlebury. Oh, dear! She's a very peculiar sh--shape, is Mrs Pendlebury. Can't be very convenient for Mr Pendlebury. He often comes in here quite late of an evening for his six--pack of ale with a desperate look in his eye. She'll be there for half an hour, you mark my words. Ah, good. A reprieve! At last I've had a reprieve. - - Not for long, Granville. - - Oh, 'eck! Do I have to go out there? They'll only laugh at me. I know they'll only laugh. Come on, chin up! You come from proud stock, lad. Waterloo, the B--Battle of Britain, the Glorious Double Gloucesters! We are a stubborn race, when the chips are down. Well, our chips aren't down. They're still at full retail recommended price. A race that when we have to can still p--produce the brave. Men who are prepared to go out s--single--handed and marry Mrs Pendlebury. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" They'd ask at school. I'd say, "Oh, fighter pilot." I see George Madeley's got a f--f--first for his Brussels sprouts again. See what I would have missed? If I'd been stooging around up there with me gunsights glowing, cruising at Mach 6, there'd be no hot news like that coming over the squawk box. "Hello, Tango to Red Leader. "I hear George Madeley's got a f--f--first for his Brussels sprouts." He always was very lucky with his Brussels sprouts, was George Madeley. (AMERICAN ACCENT) Well, Mr Madeley, I've had a look at the X--rays and I'm afraid that leg is gonna have to come off. But never mind, we're leaving you your Brussels sprouts! Hey, listen to this. "Vicar's wife accuses cook of ding--dong in belfry. "Discarded underclothing points to vicar's infidelity." Let that be a l--lesson to you, Granville. Never p--point with your underclothing. Chance would be a fine thing! Poor old vicar! They found his vest in her pantry and her p--pants in his vestry! (SHOP BELL RINGS) - - How delightful! - - Always a p--pleasure to see a new face. I never knew they still existed! New faces? Oh, yes. You find them just underneath new people's hats. No, not new faces. No, these places. Poky little shops. Everything higgledy--piggledy, all scrunched in. - - Quaint! - - Oh, good. Do you think so? Definitely! Good, because that was just the effect we were striving after. I said to the architect, "Now, look, Sir Hugh," I said. "We don't want any of this modern rubbish. We'll go strictly for quaint." I love the smell. What is it, do you think? You've come on a bad day. We get a lot of old people in here on a Tuesday. Which is fine, unless it's been raining, and then some of them smell a bit damp. I think it's cough drops, tobacco and paraffin. That's right. And that's only the women! I see you're still selling things unwrapped. That's a vicious rumour, madam. I've never even appeared in the shop unwrapped! Mind you, they do look tempting. I might have risked a couple if you'd had tongs. - - Don't you use tongs? - - Of course we do. I am notorious on the tongs. But usually I just save them for the summer months because they are marvellous instruments for swatting flies. Look at that. Another p--pregnant female. There. Which cake? One of those or one of those? - - No, thank you. I don't think so. - - A bit of cream's all over it. Really, I only came in looking for French cigarettes. I don't suppose you have any French cigarettes. No, but we have English ones you can s--smoke with a foreign accent! - - I only smoke the French. - - Best thing that could happen to them! I remember a shop like this when I was a child. Yes, so do I. This is it! - - It's long since been condemned. - - As a matter of fact, we are on the verge of the same thing ourselves. - - Really? - - On account of the frats. - - The frats? - - Yes. They're everywhere. They get under your skirting boards and floorboards, into your cavity walls. - - You don't want them in your cavity walls. - - A property of this age has cavity walls? We didn't have cavity walls till the damn frats got in! - - What are these frats? - - A nasty cross between a ferret and a rat. A ferret and a rat? ! Do they interbreed? Interbreed? That's all they ever do, night and day! It only takes a jiffy. It happened first by accident when two of the creatures tried to force themselves through the same aperture. Like that. Of course, once having got the knack... - - The knack? - - Yes, the knack of producing frats, or, as we say locally, fraternisation. - - And you have them here? - - Everywhere. They spread like wildfrats! Surely if there was an epidemic, the health authorities... No, no, no. They daren't risk a panic, you see. They send someone to bore a couple of holes in your walls and tell you you've got nothing. The trouble is, officially the problem doesn't exist. - - What does one do? - - One acquires a frat detector. Something that burns on a low light. A little yellow flame which turns green the moment the frats appear. That's one. There, madam. I'll open the door for you. Thank you! Do call again for frat oil, won't you? "Quaint"? What does she mean, "quaint"? I'll give her qu--quaint! This may be old--fashioned, but it's functional. - - This here is an annexe to my wallet. - - How did you sell them lamps? Don't worry about that, Granville. That's too advanced for you. - - Oh, my God, what's that? - - Oh, me horse collapsed. I'm not surprised! Oh, dear. Hardly the thing for a quiet evening out with the one you love. - - What? It's not so loud. - - Pardon? - - It's not so loud. - - I can't hear you for that shirt. The milk woman loves it. Don't change the subject. We're talking about shirts. We've got an empty shop here. Come on, you're supposed to be outside getting customers in. Smarten yourself up. What's the point? I'll only make a fool of myself. Then make a smartly--dressed fool of yourself. - - Call this smartly--dressed? - - It's style for an apprentice shopkeeper. I know. It's a hell of a rig for a fighter pilot, though! Granville, you're going out on your first solo mission! The world is your oyster. Go out, pick a victim, and come at him out of the sun. You're on your own, B--B--Biggles. Bring 'em back alive. I'll hold your parachute. What are you doing, charging into people that way? - - You can stop people's breath that way! - - Ow! Ow! Stop! Ow! Ooh! Ah! Ow! - - What's going on? - - I'm just having fun, that's all! You get dressed up to do a bit of shopping, not to be knocked over by an errand boy! Of course not, Mrs Featherstone. Come and sit here, my dear. Take the weight off your purse. Not even me husband used to get as close as that! Whereabouts did you catch her? I don't know. Everything went black. She's a widow woman. Everything's black to start with! God, it could have been anywhere! Hey, come on, you're supposed to be customer--finding. Get out there. Go on! Dear, dear! You look sad, Granville. You poor love! What is it? It's advanced training. Oh, if it's only to do with the shop! I thought you were really depressed -- heartache or something. That's what I mean. It is. Mainly it is heartaches. You mean real heartaches? Deep down, world looking empty? -- "Need a shoulder to lean on" heartaches? - - Yes, they're the ones. Yes, that's them. I get 'em sometimes. I know what they're like. - - They're terrible. - - Terrible! I used to get 'em a lot. Used to think life was really bad. Then me husband left me. I've felt heaps better since! You see, when you least expect it, something turns up. What's wrong with Granville? Oh, you poor love! There, Mrs Featherstone, your change. F--f--f--f--four... F--f--f--four... That's just right. It's a very funny sensation, getting entangled at my age with an errand boy. (COMMOTION OUTSIDE) Wh--What's all that going on out there? - - There he is! That's him! - - Bullying this poor lad! - - I saw him leading him by his ear. - - Ought to be ashamed! Get this lot off me! Hey, Granville! Get this lot off, Granville! He said he wanted people in the shop! Funny lot, women, when you look at 'em. And I often do. It took me all me time to calm that lot in the shop down before I could start selling. Then I believe there were one that got away! Oh, God, don't say I've started slipping. I don't mind wearing glasses, Lord, or even a hearing aid. But if it's all the same to you, I'd like to stay young and very muscular when it comes to the acquisitive instinct! MOSFILM Nonna MORDYUKOVA Svetlana KRYUCHKOVA Andrei PETROV Ivan BORTNIK Yuri BOGATYRYOV Fedya STUKOV in KINFOLK Why are you yelling, Maria? Shut up! Go on with your painting! The rest is none of your business! No one can ever leave this place! Some procedures you got here! It's enough to make you scream, you know! People are supposed to sit here all night waiting for tickets! Is it war or what? No coming, no going. And no one to complain to. No one to tell about it. Such huge trains are running and they can't take just one person on. What kind of business is that? Parasites! - Hey, man, what's that you got? - A ticket. - For the next train? - Right, it's coming. - She said no tickets. - This is WL. It's expensive. How expensive? Well, it's not that expensive, but it's good because... Oh shit! Make way, women! Can you hear me? Aunt Katya, take a broom and come to the buffet. Folks, who ties animals to the ticket office? Someone tied a dog, now it's a steer. It's no way. Untie him, please. Hello. Good day. - Hi. - It's occupied. Oh God... - I'll be right back. - All right. Yes? - What's your name if it's no secret? - Tanya. Tanya dear, some tea, please. I guess your tea isn't strong enough, so don't bother, I'll make it myself. I've got such little bomb... Just bring me some boiling water. - So it's you? - Yes, me. It means... - With me? - I guess so. - You alone? - Alone. All right... How about you... None of your business. Miss! - Go away mister! - I apologized, didn't I! Miss! I'm not going like this. - What's up? - Don't you have women's beds? You put me up with some... Don't you see... How come? - Is he making passes? - What do you mean, passes? I can't change, can't put my slippers on. Go back to your compartment now, we'll find something for you. Okay? It's a long way to your station, the whole night, we'll think of something. Wait! What are you doing? ! Turn it on now! Turn on the light! Hooligans! Oh... Where's that man? - What's the matter with you? - Nothing. It's a tunnel. I know. Why did you get scared? - Come in. - Thank you. - Hello. - Hello. My name is Yuri Nikolayevich Lyapin. Do you mind? This is Georgian dry wine. My friend sent it from Georgia. - Nah, I don't drink colored wine. - Well, I don't drink much either. I even quit smoking. But sometimes it helps, it calms you. Really? Then pour me some. For you too? That'll do. - To our meeting. - To our meeting. Oh, what a poison! Some friend you've got! No, actually he's a good man. Actually, he's not Georgian, he's Greek, though he lives in Tbilisi, he is a tennis coach. Excuse me, what's your name? - What? - Your name. Oh. Maria. And I'm Yuri. Incidentally! I didn't drink that much, but it went to my head. Let's have something to eat. I was hanging about the station all day! Very well. You take charge here, I'll go and procure some plates and forks. Tanya! Can you find some plates and forks for us? There you go. Thanks a lot. Good girl! My dear, why do you keep coming and going? You know, I couldn't understand how it could... how it could be that the door's locked but the man's gone! You know, I thought I was going to die. Let's have another shot. Though I can't drink much. You know, when I drink, I get... I get kind of bad in the head. Start singing right away. The matchmakers came to me On a skewbald mare! Carried away all my stuff, For the bride didn't care! What's up? Did you wind it up? No. Guys from our fish factory gave it to me. As a joke, they wrote on it: Don't oversleep the fishing season. It works alright, but rings whenever it likes. Excuse me. Are we almost there? - Maria, may I call you? - All right. - Shall I give you a lift? I got a car. - No. Come on! Come on! Fast train number 71 "Bogachyovo — Suvorsk" is arriving at track one. The train stops for 5 minutes. Cars numbered from the tail. - Oh, daughter! - Mama dear! Oh, my God! Careful, mama! Hi! Welcome! - When are the exercises? - Tomorrow. I was traveling in style! Do you wear glasses now? - So I'll call you? - All right. - Is Stanislav at his work? - Yes. Too bad you didn't bring Irishka. I've missed her so much! Your glasses gave me a fright. Thought something's wrong with your eyes. No, I'm all right. To hell with them, take them off! Here, Shurka sent you a note. She had a baby at last! A swell boy! Could hardly deliver him. It's about dress patterns. And she wants a necklace for the New Year. - Here, have an apple. - I don't want it, mama. - What about you, young man? - Merci. What's the matter with you? Oh, what are you doing, mama? Why did you have to smear it all? I smeared it all! Goodbye! The general, we rode together. Handsome man! Came to inspect exercises. And in my compartment was the chief engineer of a fishing factory! About my age. I nicknamed him "a man with a mustache". He got a mustache like a cube! It's just a riot! And what's that, Nina? Do you smoke? ! - Drop it now! - Come on, mama! - Give it to me! - Stop it, mama! I know what I'm doing! Here, you may have it! Did I give birth to you for you to smoke that filth? Will you shut up, please? - Nina, hurry, the telephone! - What do you care? - Maybe it's for me? - Who can call you? Perhaps there's someone. Stop it, you've just arrived. Hello? - Do you have a rag? - I'll do it later, mom. I'm listening. Are you going to play the silent game? Well, as you wish. He wouldn't answer? No, he wouldn't answer. Nina, I see Stasik is still into his snags, making sculptures. Good for him. - Remember Kolia, the Pioneer leader? - Yes, I do. I just finished packing, was about to go to the station, and here he comes carrying all kinds of roots and knolls and some weird stumps. Here, Aunt Marusya, take them to your son-in-law. How could I? With all the stuff I was bringing. Nina, will Tasik bring Irishka from the kindergarten? I must tell you something, only don't get scared, please. - What? - Stasik and I are separated. - Divorced? - Not yet, but it's going to happen. - Oh, Nina! - Mama, I beg you! Oh, my God! Mama, please. I'm begging you, mama. I wouldn't have told you if I knew you'd be bewailing. How can you, you got a daughter! I've just informed you, that's all. I wish I'd never come here! I'm going away from here. Nina! Nina! - What is it, mom? - They're there with those snags! And look, up there! Your man! A real hero! Oh, mama! It's for me. - Why for you? - I swear. Listening. Playing again? No brains mean a cripple. Call when you get tired of it. Shit! May your hands wither away! Oh, I'm sorry. Nina's out, I... it's her mother. Right, Maria Vasilyevna. See how it turned out! And who are you? Ghena? From her work? I'll tell her, I will. All right. Mom! What is it, for God's sake? Oh, my little fish! My honey! I've missed you so much! You've grown so big! You know what I brought you? There's a basket under your pillow... Grandma, why have you got such a big nose? Why big? A regular nose. I'm big and my nose is big. It's interesting... The interesting, grandma, is around the corner to your left. How did you like your granddaughter? She's grown up! They grow so fast. - Mom, get away. - I'll show you 'get away'! Don't yell, I beg you! Anyone called me? Oh, daughter, the veggie caviar worked out real good, with a soul to it! - I asked you: Did anyone call? - I can't hear you for all that music! Ira, I beg you, turn that stupid music off! Stop it now! Go to your room! I'm sick and tired of all this! All right! What's the matter? My little baby... Nina, why is she like that? Like what? A normal city child. They're all like that in kindergarten. They got a load of things to do. I asked you: Did anyone call me? - Well, did they? - I had no time to tell. Someone did. What's wrong? Have you lost something? Have you? - Someone called? - Yes. It was embarrassing. I took it up, they say nothing. I yelled, then someone says politely: This is Ghena. And then he asks, you know: Is that her mother? I say yes. And who's that Ghena? Why does it smell of wine here? What wine? We had a drink with Mashka. Today is her birthday. We went to a cafe with the girls. One bottle of champagne for the 5 of us. You do remember Mashka, don't you? We came with her last year, remember? A little blond one. - What have you got on your head? - Grandma's present. Take it off. Grandma's present is for winter. Go to your room. Get away from the jam with your spoon! Go to your room! Lay off me! Oh, what great caviar I cooked! Taste it, daughter. I don't want it now. - Taste it now, I said! - Come on, mama... Why does Irishka say that I got a big nose? Is it really big? That's how they joke now. I wish you heard what she says to me. And who is that Ghena? Ghena is my colleague. We work together. I sit here, and he over here. The man just called once and you already ask: "Who's that Ghena?" Who, who, a horse from the zoo. Ghena... Ghena... Crocodile Ghena. Ever seen Cheburashka? Nina, have you seen father? What father? Our father. He must be here... Living in the city. I saw your beau when grandmother died. Why? It's just... interesting. We had once lived together. Oh, Irishka! You know he played the accordion so beautifully when he was young. The moment he stretched out his accordion, all women went crazy! I hid his accordion once, he cried so hard. They say he got a family now, two kids, a job. Everything will be all right with you. And Irishka will be all right, and I will be all right. Scoring a goal against the team of "Burevestnik" was Anatoly Pashvykin, number 7! Nina, those have scored! Have you seen it, granddaughter? Lullaby, lullaby, Go to sleep, don't cry. Help me please, Mother of God, To wash everything I got. Irishka, did your mom and dad fight? Perhaps he began to hit the bottle? It's all right if you don't want to tell. Oh, my God... Nina, is that you? - Hi. - Oh, howdy! - Good to see you. - Thank you. I just dropped by to... Why not? You're still the master of the house. We have no masters here anymore, we had done away with masters back in 1917, so... - Look, you goat. - I beg your pardon? I mean, have you no conscience? Conscience? No conscience. That's why you walk and whistle, lost your cap and don't give a thistle. You know, I've never understood those metaphors of yours. So you, the bandit, don't give a damn about your daughter, right? This is too serious a subject. We'd better leave it for later. For now, let me take some things that are precious to me. So you've come for precious things! Not in the sense you mean. Precious in the spiritual sense of the word. - You'll do without. - What do you mean? Come when Nina's here. You mean when the she-goat's here? Please don't misunderstand me, but if, as you put it, I'm a goat, then, naturally, my wife is a she-goat. Oh boy! Oh, God! Tasik! - What is it? - Maria Vasilyevna, you're wrong! - Roll out of here! - Naturally. I have no other choice, but you're wrong. Why did you fall, Tasik? Now let's be serious. Please tell Nina that from now on I'll never set my foot in this house! - We'll survive. - Naturally. But time will tell who's right and, as we know, time is for us! - Step aside, please. - What? - Step aside, please! - You're welcome. Who needs you? Well, that's it... Oh, damn it! Shame on you, Maria Vasilyevna, a simple Russian woman. I think your daughter... Don't come near me! I'm standing. She won't forgive you that, neither will my daughter. - Look... - Don't touch me! Ciao-miaow! Let me through! Hello? No, I didn't chase anyone. Just turned my son-in-law out. How? Knocked him on the head. And who's speaking? Ah, Yuri Nikolayevich! Meet you? All right! Hey, man with a mustache! Maria Vasilyevna, how are you? I've been watching you for a long time, by the way. It's hard to recognize you. Good for you! Hi. And what's this round thing? This round thing. - You bought a cake? - No, it's a hat. Right, it's time. Soon the last ones will fall down. - Are we waiting for someone? - No, nobody. And the flowers? For you. What? No way! God forbid! Take them away! I'm not some young girl! What's so bad about it? It's interesting. The interesting is around the corner to the left, as my granddaughter says. Come on, Maria Vasilyevna! Look, what's going on? It's ridiculous! - I'll never take it! - What's so bad about it? I won't even hear about it! It's embarrassing, don't you understand? - Why embarrassing? - There're people looking... - Is this hat for me? - Yes, for you. What a mess I've got in! Maria Vasilyevna! - Comrade General! - Comrade General! Comrade General! - Let's have our picture taken. - All right. Here's a photo machine. Insert 20 kopecks... I can't understand anything. I've been waiting all preened up since 5. Call him. Can you do it for me? I did it for you last time. Thanks for nothing. Bye. Some friend... Damn hypocrite. When she needs anything, you must do it even if it's nighttime. Hello? May I speak to Gennady Borisovich? Ghena, are you playing games with me? It's almost 7. Come along, dear. I'll tuck you in again. He's wicked, isn't he? Was there anything else, Julian? One of these days, Auntie, somebody will cut that iron umbilicus... and maybe your throat in the bargain. Go to bed immediately, Merle. And see that you stay there. Hello, Corbett. Is Merle ready yet? Miss Gilbert, won't you come in? I'll tell her you're here. Thank you. Well, good morning, Miss Gilbert. How very nice to see you again. Hello, Mr. Langley. Where are you two young ladies off to this time? Lunch, fashion show. I'll be taking some pictures if sleepyhead doesn't make me late. Merle had a restless night. You know, Mr. Langley, it's always been my one great ambition to be able to sleep in till 11:00 every morning. Well, you'll just have to marry a rich man. Unfortunately, they've all been spoken for-- especially the handsome, distinguished ones. Gina-- Well, it's about time, lazy bones. Hello, Mrs. Langley. Good morning, Gina. You're looking very attractive today. Thank you very much. I wish I could have clothes like that. This? It's only 14.95. But it's so sophisticated. It's hardly the style for you, dear. I asked the chauffeur to bring the car around. I do have a cab waiting. Howard can take care of that. I would prefer it if Corbett drove you. As you like. - Merle, we'll be late if-- - Goodbye, Aunt Olivia, - Uncle Howard-- - Enjoy yourselves. But be back by 5:00, remember? You need your rest, Merle. We'll remember. Come on, Merle, let's go. Bye-bye. She's quite beautiful, isn't she, Howard? Miss Gilbert? Yes, I suppose she is. Still, on the whole, I think you'd prefer Margo Stevens-- [chuckle]-- if you had your pick, that is. Must we go through this every time-- Oh, don't flatter yourself that I'm jealous, Howard, of Margo or any of the other silly young creatures that you mentally pursue. It's the effect of your behavior on Merle that I'm thinking of. Oh, good heavens. Merle will be 21 next week. And as her trusted trustee, can you honestly say that Merle is mature enough to even pick out her own movies, let alone watch her uncle make a fool of himself? Oh, Olivia, for heaven's-- Howard, I think you'd better pay off that cab driver, hadn't you? I wish Aunt Olivia would let me buy dresses like that. I wish I could afford dresses like that. Good afternoon, ladies. If I'm in time for lunch, I think I'll have a watercress sandwich and a little bowl of fruit. Oh, aren't we funny. Sit down, lover boy. Don't be conspicuous. Thank you. Merle, you remember Danny Pierce. I guess so. Miss Telford, I hope I'm not intruding again. I guess not. Well, did you get all your pictures? No, not yet. I'll shoot them in the dressing rooms. That's gonna kill half the afternoon. At least I have a job. Oh, sticks and stones will break my bones, but unemployment will never hurt me. Why don't you try and be amusing for Merle while I go to work, hmm? Hello, darling. I feel sick. It'll pass. - You kissed her. - Just on the cheek. If I don't stay friends with her, how will I see you? I could meet you just the same. How? Your aunt never lets you out of the house. And even if she does, that chauffeur follows you everywhere he goes. Oh, pooh on Corbett. I can fool him any time I want to. Once, maybe, but you'd never get out again. If you'd just let me come to the house, I could convince Aunt Olivia-- No! Look, baby, you're 21 years old. Not till next Saturday. I'm going to have a birthday party. So you are. Okay. But I'm going to talk to her then. Danny, I could run away. After my party, I mean. Maybe to San Francisco. If you want to. If I want to? Oh, little one, I'd run off to Anywhereland with you. But I don't have any money. That's easy. I can't really have any of my money until they say I'm ready for it or something. But I can get tickets on a plane. I can charge them. After we're gone, she'll never know where to look for us. All right, Danny? "All right, Danny?" All right, Merle. Who needs money? Anywhereland, here we come. No, silly. I meant San Francisco. I knew what you meant. [chattering] Wait here for me, Corbett. I'll only be a minute. Whatever you say, Miss. [no audible dialogue] Your conduct is absolutely disgraceful. If there is one thing I can't stand, it's a sneak. Who told you? That's quite beside the point, Merle. Just let me assure you that I am informed of everything you do It was Corbett, wasn't it? Now, don't try and change the subject, Merle. I would like an explanation. What exactly did you think you were doing? - Eloping. - Ha ha ha. Well, we'll forget all that romantic nonsense for now. But your Mr. Danny Pierce can consider himself fortunate if I don't have him arrested. How did you know his na-- Why can't I get married? Because you are still a child. I'm nearly 21. I wasn't referring to birthdays, Merle. Some girls are ready for marriage at that age, but others, like yourself-- Well... what I'm trying to say is I'm afraid that you should never get married. You're-- You're just not well enough. I'm sorry to have to tell you this. But it's better to face it now. There will always be unscrupulous men after your money. No. Not Danny. I'm afraid so. I'm having him investigated, and I'm sure we will find he's nothing but a cheap fortune hunter. That's not true. You're lying. Now that's enough of that kind of talk out of you. You'll go to your room immediately. For punishment, you wanted to wear Grandmother's diamonds to the party. I'm afraid that's out of the question. I don't care. You're always taking them away so you can wear them yourself. Merle! All I want for my birthday is Danny, and I'm going with him. Now you stop this. I hate you. I hate you! If you try to stop me, Aunt Olivia, I'll kill you. You know, she just might do it. Hey, not bad. What name did you register under? Lenore Adams. I hope that meets with your approval. Hey, now come on, come on. This is the big night. This is what we've been waiting for. 21 candles, remember? I still think it's a dirty trick. That poor little nitwit has fallen in love with you, hasn't she? Next I suppose you'll say you want to marry her. If I married every girl that had eyes for me, I'd have them strung out from here to... Anywhereland. Oh, yeah, you're quite a rocket. All right, how much do you think you're gonna get for the diamonds? $50,000, easy. Merle's worth a quarter of a million-- or she will be as soon as Uncle Howard decides she's old enough to handle it. That's the way her trust is set up. Did you know that? No, I didn't know that. And, uh...how do you know that? I keep my ears open, too. [whistles] A quarter of a million dollars. That's a lot of money. But not for Danny boy. Somebody else can marry that teddy bear. I'll just take the $50,000 and-- [whistles]-- blow away. Just thought I'd mention it to see what you had in your mind. Yeah? You, uh... You wouldn't be thinking of running out on me, would you, lover? Do I have a choice? No. Not unless you want the police in Chicago to know where you are. All right, you made me set it up for you. Look, Aunt Olivia's going to be wearing the diamonds, not Merle, so with that little piece of information, will you please just get out of here and leave me alone? - And leave Merle alone, too. - Okay. Okay. - Okay, okay, okay. - Danny. How are you going to do it? The same old way? You know, you're too much. Get out of here and leave me alone! Leave Merle alone, too! Danny, how are you going to do it, the same old way? What do you think I am, a sucker? But I might tell a partner. Oh, forget I asked. You're blowing a great opportunity. With all the contacts you can make with that camera and my talent, - we could retire in a year. - I'm going to retire right after this one. Then make it a good one. I'll hit at 11:00. When the diamonds get here, you check out. - And don't let anyone see you. - What do you think I am, an amateur? No, lover. You're just a reluctant old pro trying to make a comeback. So keep your fingers crossed. [knock on door] Come in, Paul. Well, working kind of late, aren't you? Yeah. Well, hallelujah. I just thought you peasants might like a touch of glamour in your drab lives. I'm impressed. What kind of a singing job do you do tonight? Thanks a lot. I happen to be going to a very posh birthday party. Protecting the family jewels? No, a wealthy niece. Her aunt thinks her young man is a fortune hunter. - Is he? - Well, he's poor. Anyway, the girl's 21 today, so Auntie had to let the guy come to the party. She's just afraid that later on, when things get jumping, the two kids might try and run off together. If the girl's of age, how are you supposed to stop it? Well, I do know he was married in Texas once, so if I have to, I can try and run a bluff on that. Wasn't he divorced? So far I haven't been able to establish it-- either way. Will if the bluff fails, you should try charming her yourself. I must say you do look dashing. Oh, you finally got around to admitting it. Good night, Perry. Good night, beautiful. Good night. Doctor, it's so nice of you to come. My pleasure. And, Mrs. Comstock, what a heavenly gown. How sweet. Thank you. I believe you know Margo Stevens, Doctor and Mrs. Comstock. - How do you do? - How do you do, Miss Stevens? Margo is one of my husband's little golf partners, you know. It's a shame you've never played yourself. Oh, you'd be surprised how much I know about the game. Now be a dear and get Dr. and Mrs. Comstock a drink - for me, will you? - Thank you. You must come out some time, Mrs. Langley, and give me lessons. Psst. Danny. Danny, I was afraid you weren't going to come to my party. I wouldn't have missed it for anything in the world. My bags are packed. Everybody'll be squishy by 11. We can sneak out then. We'll drive, Danny. Anywhere in the world. 11:00. Anywhere in the world. Meet me out at the old garage-- the one behind the gardener's shed, the back road. I love you. [fizzing] Hello, Howard. Well, hello. I didn't think you'd be here. I thought your husband-- Oh, yes, he's off on another one of those trips. But why should that stop me from traveling? See you later, maybe? We had the pleasure of meeting him last summer in Lausanne. I'd taken Merle to Switzerland. The trip was very beneficial, I thought. Poor Olivia. What was he like? Oh, it was indeed a rare privilege. He is such a quaint old gentleman. He speaks perfect English, but I am sure he learned it from reading the classics. [laughter] He always referred to me as Mistress Langley. It sounded terribly elegant but a little bit naughty. [chatter] [doorbell rings] - [door opens] - Good evening, sir. [Paul] Oh, good evening, Corbett. Oh, uh, Mr. Drake, I would like for you to mix around and have fun. I understand, Mrs. Langley. - But keep an eye on Merle. - All right. I have a terrible headache. I've got to lie down. [knocking] I say, old man, have you seen Margo around? Margo Stevens? Sorry. I don't know the lady. Oh, well, it doesn't matter. I'm trying to locate a Mr. Pierce. I don't suppose you know him. Not intimately, but I do know of him. And from what I've heard, I suggest you check at the bar. Thanks. Sorry I couldn't help you. Don't give it a thought. I'd like a messenger sent to Mr. Julian Kirk's home, please. 5963 Mandolin Road in Bel Air. To a Miss Lenore Adams, Village Motel on Lankershim Boulevard. Room number 32. Yes, that's in North Hollywood. I'd like your fast service on that, please. 20 minutes? That's fine. [door opens] [laughter, chatter] Blue Streak. It's all ready for you. You made good time. Not much traffic this late. That'll be 4 bucks. Sounds like a party at the big house. You ought to try reading with that racket. You ought to crash it. Bet there's nobody sober enough to even notice. Keep the change. Much obliged. Good night. Good night. Danny. Nope. Miss Telford, I'm afraid the elopement's off. Who are you? Paul Drake. I'm a private detective. You can't stop me. You've no right to. I'm 21. No. That isn't the reason. Your aunt-- Your diamonds have been stolen. No one can leave till the police get here. I don't care about those old diamonds-- Merle, let's go back to the house. Merle, my dear child... Olivia, your aunt-- Mr. Drake told me. Somebody stole Grandmother's diamonds. But it doesn't matter, Uncle Howard. I'm afraid it's more serious than that, Merle. Your Aunt Olivia is dead. She's been murdered. You warned her, didn't you, Cousin Julian? You said somebody would cut her throat. [Gina] Just a minute. Messenger service. Package for Miss Lenore Adams. All right. Thank you. [slam] [phone rings] Hello. Oh, Paul. How's the party? It died. So did the hostess. What do you mean? Well, somebody stole the family jewels after all and slipped a knife into Mrs. Langley at the same time. Perry, could you come over right away? My responsibility here is to the niece Merle, and the way things are shaping up, the poor kid's going to need help fast. What kind of help? Well, right now, the case depends on who's got those diamonds, which is like looking for a needle in a haystack because this place is enormous. But there's one place the police haven't looked-- Merle's luggage. Why not? They can't find the keys. Paul, do you have the keys? You guessed it. Merle slipped them to me with a pleading look. Perry, I'd appreciate it if you were here when Lieutenant Anderson forces the locks. Okay, Sergeant, thank you very much. All right, no one left the party early. No one has those diamonds in their possession. So we're starting to search the grounds now and that other house across the way. Without a search warrant? We didn't think you'd mind, Mr. Kirk. No, no. Anytime. But in the meantime, this luggage. Miss Telford, have you remembered yet what you did with the keys? I lost them, I told you. Then I'm afraid we'll have to force the-- Good evening, Lieutenant. Perry, come in. You don't mind, do you, Andy? Not at all. Come in, counselor. I won't even ask who your client is. I was about to spring the locks on some luggage, but I'll bet a lawyer could think of a better way to get them open. I, uh, do happen to have some keys that might fit. Worth a try, anyway. [lock unlatches] Well, what do you know? Well, they're not here, either. I don't understand it, but as evidence of murder, they're not all that important. Surely you don't think Merle could have murdered her aunt. As a matter of fact, Mr. Langley, from the information I've gotten so far, it seemed entirely possible. And this rather clinches it, don't you think? [women gasp] Of course, we'll have to establish this as the murder weapon, but I don't think there's much doubt of it. Isn't that slip lovely? Aunt Olivia would have a fit if she knew. She never let me buy clothes like that. The nature of the fatal wound indicated it had been inflicted by a sharp instrument of rather peculiar shape. Of a peculiar shape. Doctor, I show you State's Exhibit 5, which was discovered in the bag of the defendant. Do you recognize this? I do. It's commonly known as a dirk. The blade exactly fit the wound. Did you discover anything else about it which would establish it as the murder weapon? Yes. The blood stains were also tested in my presence and found to be the same type as that of the dead woman. Thank you, Doctor. Mr. Mason. Doctor, was the deceased intoxicated at the time of her death? I wouldn't think so, Mr. Mason. Our tests did show a small percentage of alcohol in her system, but not much. Your tests showed something else, didn't they? Yes, chloral hydrate. That's commonly known as knock-out drops, isn't it? That's right. Thank you, Doctor. That'll be all. Mr. Langley, as I understand it, you are the legal guardian of the defendant and the trustee of her estate. That's right, sir. Merle's parents died rather tragically when Merle was only 12 years old. Isn't it true that in actual practice, your late wife was the real acting guardian of the defendant? Well, yes. She needed a woman to look after her. And isn't it a fact that the decedent really managed your niece's trust fund, too? Someone had to look after things. And then, Merle is simply not equipped to handle large sums of money and may not be for some time yet. Large sums of money, Mr. Langley? How large? I believe the principal is in the neighborhood of 250,000. That's in addition to real estate, like the house you live in, and personal property like the still-missing diamond necklace. - Is that so? - That's correct, sir. Mr. Langley, why was your wife wearing the defendant's necklace? It's extremely valuable. As I've said before, Merle doesn't understand of the value of things. She could have lost them. Yes, of course. As a matter of fact, the necklace seems to be lost anyway, doesn't it? Although, of course, there are a thousand places where anyone who knew the estate might have hidden it. Mr. Langley, tell me this. Did the defendant resent your wife's wearing that necklace? She cried. Yes, I'm afraid they fought about it several times. Did your niece receive an allowance, Mr. Langley? Well, not in cash, but she did have charge accounts practically everywhere. Yes, I have a charge slip here, signed by the defendant, reserving two seats on a plane. The destination is San Francisco. The departure time is the night of the murder. - Were you aware of this? - My wife told me about it. She cancelled the reservations. Sid your wife also tell you who Merle had intended to occupy the other seat? Yes. A Mr. Pierce. It was just a childish romantic whim on Merle's part. I'm sure it was nothing serious. But your late wife did object to their proposed elopement. Well, yes, but-- Enough to hire a private detective to make sure to prevent it? It was for Merle's own good. Isn't it true, Mr. Langley, that your wife's attitude toward Merle's young man only led to angrier tears and angrier fights between them? Yes. I have no further questions. Mr. Langley, I believe the murder weapon has been identified as belonging to you. Yes. It was something I picked up in Italy on one of my trips. It was of some historic interest. I kept it hanging in my study in plain sight for anyone, you understand. Where were you at the approximate time of the murder? I was in the garden. Alone? No. Then there's someone who can verify your whereabouts? Mr. Mason, I see no reason to involve an innocent person in these proceedings. Why not? Would it be embarrassing to that person? Or would it be embarrassing to you? I simply see no reason to reveal her name. And neither do I. If it please the court, counsel is just employing his usual shotgun method here. I'll withdraw the question, Your Honor. That'll be all, Mr. Langley. I noticed a few minutes earlier that the defendant had left the party and changed her clothes, as though for traveling. Naturally, I was curious, watchful. You say that you saw her later in the upstairs hall. Where was this? She came running out of her aunt's room. The poor child was white as a sheet. Terrified, I thought. Naturally, I didn't let her see me. Naturally. But, Mr. Corbett, did you notice anything else about her? She clutched something under her jacket with one hand, and her other hand she held stiffly away from her. There was some dark moisture on it. I can't say positively it was blood. No, I can't, sir. Just something dark. And then she disappeared toward the back stairway. Mr. Pierce, am I correct in assuming that yours and the defendant's proposed flight to San Francisco-- or your proposed flight anywhere-- would have been in the nature of an elopement? Well, yes, Merle wanted to try it. You anticipated opposition, then? I figured that Aunt Olivia would try to stop us if she could. Did she object to you on personal grounds, Mr. Pierce? Well, no, not actually. It would've been the same with anybody. See, she just wasn't letting Merle meet any men. Objection. The witness is stating an opinion. Your Honor, I believe the proper groundwork can be laid to make the witness' last answer admissible. Very well, Mr. Burger. Proceed. Mr. Pierce, how long have you known the defendant? - A few weeks. - And how did you meet her? I can't recall the exact circumstances, but it was an accident. Danny! - You mustn't interrupt, Merle. - But he remembers how we met. - He must. - Tell me later. What do you mean by accident, Mr. Pierce? The watchdog went to sleep on the job-- Mrs. Langley's chauffeur. Whenever Merle did get out of that house, he was always sent along. Really? How did you manage to carry on your courtship? Well, it wasn't easy. We met in tearooms. [spectators chuckle] Mr. Pierce, the very fact that the defendant continued to see you under these circumstances was a form of rebellion against such strict supervision, wasn't it? Why, then, since the defendant became legally of age on her recent birthday, did you find it necessary to plan an elopement? That didn't really mean anything. You see, Merle was sort of like a zombie as far as her aunt was concerned, and she had to get fighting mad before she'd stand up to her. - Objection. - Sustained. The witness will refrain from giving opinions. I have no further questions, Your Honor. [murmuring] Tell me now, Merle. I got to know Danny through Gina. That's how we used to meet. He couldn't have forgotten. Who is Gina? Gina Gilbert. She's sitting in the back row, next to Corbett. I asked her to come and be moral support. [Judge] Mr. Mason, We await your pleasure. My apologies, Your Honor. What is your occupation, Mr. Pierce? I'm unemployed at the present. And when you are working? A salesman. Mr. Pierce, have you ever been convicted of a felony? - No. - No? Isn't it true you that two years ago, in Fort Worth, Texas, you were arrested for robbery? But I was cleared. Your Honor, I object to that. The police are quite properly investigating everyone who conceivably could have taken that necklace. But a mere arrest is not evidence of bad character which can impeach a witness, and counselor very well knows that. If it please the court, I'm not trying to impeach this witness. I'm just attempting to cross-examine him on his claim that the objections of the deceased to his marrying my client were unreasonable. I think you've made your point, Mr. Mason. Objection overruled. Now, Mr. Pierce, are you married? No. Certainly not. Are you acquainted with a woman by the name of Jayne Simmons of Fort Worth, Texas? Yeah. I was married to her seven or eight years ago, but she got a divorce. [Mason] I see. Your Honor, I would like to request an adjournment until tomorrow morning. Why, Mr. Mason? Well, it is approaching the hour of adjournment, and my examination of this witness may be rather lengthy. I see. Mr. Burger? Well, Your Honor, If counselor really wants time to prepare for this hearing a little more fully, I think the prosecution might exercise tolerance. I think that's uncalled for, Mr. Burger. Court stands adjourned till 10:00 tomorrow morning. That certainly was a nasty crack Burger made when you asked for an adjournment. Nasty but accurate. If Burger had a client as confused and frightened as Merle Telford, he'd be stalling every other minute. She certainly hasn't been much help. After all the hours you've spent talking to her, for her to suddenly think of this Gina Gilbert. Apparently, Gina became acquainted with Merle while taking pictures of her house for a magazine. Then she introduced her to Danny and subtly arranged for them to meet a number of times. Sounds like a well worked out campaign. Yes, but not a campaign for Danny to marry Merle. His wife had never filed for a divorce. Well, whatever it was between Danny and the Gilbert woman, it wasn't romance. I don't know who yet, but she's seeing somebody. So perhaps Danny was a business arrangement. It'll be hard to prove. And if Gina was anywhere near the party that night, I didn't see her, and I can't find anybody who did. At a big party, that doesn't rule it out, Paul. That's true. Look, if Mrs. Langley was unconscious during the theft, there'd be no reason for Danny to kill her-- that is, if Danny was the thief. No. But there would be plenty of reason for Merle to do it. And the murder weapon was still locked in her bag, so you can't very well say it was planted there. She admits putting it there, all right. She planned to get rid of later. She'd gone into Olivia's bedroom to get some traveling money from her desk. She recognized the knife as one belonging to her Uncle Howard. You mean she swiped it and ran out with it, just to protect him? What else could she have thought? It was his knife. She tells me that Olivia was ten times as rough on Howard as she was on her. Yeah, but with a kookie kid like that-- Merle seems about 14 years old only because Olivia deliberately held her back. How would you have acted in that kind of situation? All right. Here's the rest of my report. One of my men on another case accidentally stumbled on a messenger service boy who made a pickup at the house next door while the party was going on. What time? Late enough so the package could have been the necklace. But I couldn't see the guy. I wouldn't know who it was, in the dark like that. He just handed me down this thick envelope from the porch, and I gave him a receipt and that's it. Then you delivered the envelope here? Yes, sir. The addressee was a dame in room 32 there. I got it in the book. Then what happened? Well, I knocked on the door, and she answered, and I-- She answered right away? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Anyway, she opens the door, and she sticks an arm out, and I give her the package, and she shuts the door. Just an arm? That's all you saw? Well, her head some when she leaned out, but she had a towel draped over it like she was washing her hair, maybe. With the light behind her, I couldn't see what she looked like When you make a delivery, you get a signature, don't you? Uh, well, yeah, only-- This one? This one right here? Well, the trouble is, see, she shut the door real quick, and I- - I guess I sort of filled in the signature line myself. That could get you in trouble, couldn't it? I know, mister, but, I mean, the way she was and everything, I just didn't want to push the door down. What do you mean, the way she was? Well, the bare arm and the towel-- Holy smoke, I just figured she was maybe-- maybe naked. All right. Paul, you'd better go down to police headquarters with him. - Good night, Miss. - Good night. - And thank you. - [Man] Yes, sir. Della, I want you to get a subpoena for-- What's the matter, Perry? Suppose the woman in that room wasn't maybe naked. Mr. Pierce, did you steal that diamond necklace? No sir, I did not. Did you induce chloral hydrate into Mrs. Langley's system? No. Isn't it true that you never had any intentions of marrying Miss Telford? No, that's not true. Then you must have intended to commit bigamy, Mr. Pierce, because you knew all along your wife had never divorced you. I didn't know any such thing. She said she was going to. I assumed she had. Who's Gina Gilbert? I don't-- She's a girl I know. Just a friend, that's all. She a friend of Merle's, too. Objection. Your Honor, if counselor gets much farther afield, we'll-- I'll discontinue this line of questioning, Your Honor. And I'm finished with this witness... for the moment. You're excused, Mr. Pierce. Call your next witness, Mr. Burger. Then I call Mr. Julian Kirk. That's right. My house is next door. It was the guest house on the estate when my grandmother was alive. She left it to me in her will. Was that all she left you? Some other odds and ends of property. All the real money went to Olivia-- I mean Merle. Then you were familiar with the situation that existed at the Langley house? I was certainly aware of how completely Olivia dominated Merle. It's not the girl's fault she's neurotic. Are you by any chance a trained psychiatrist, Mr. Kirk? Well, no, but all you-- Then you're certainly not qualified to judge the defendant's mental condition. Now, then, was your knowledge of the situation of the house next door based on personal observation? Mostly. But the chauffeur kept me informed, too. Did you witness a quarrel between the defendant and her aunt a couple of days prior to the murder? Well, Merle was annoyed because Olivia objected to the elopement, if that's what you mean. Wasn't she more than annoyed, Mr. Kirk? Wouldn't it be more accurate to say that she was fighting mad? She was angry. Perhaps the degree of her irritation could be estimated if you would tell us what the defendant shouted at her aunt. She said-- Yes, Mr. Kirk? Well, she said, "If you try to stop me, I'll kill you." Your witness. Mr. Kirk, when the bulk of your grandmother's estate was left to your cousin Miss Telford, were you annoyed, irritated, perhaps even angry? Furious, I think, would be the best description. But I recovered nicely in time. You were on good terms with your cousin? As much as Olivia would permit. One night, Merle walked in her sleep and came directly toward my house. Subconsciously, she preferred me to Olivia-- Objection, Your Honor. The witness has previously testified to having had no training in psychiatry. Sustained. Let us turn now to the night of the party. Where were you at the approximate time the murder occurred? Well, in the living room, for one thing, looking out into the garden. Is there anyone who can verify that? Yes. Mr. Paul Drake. He asked if I knew where he could find Danny Pierce, and I asked him if he'd seen Margo Stevens. I'm sure he'd recall the conversation. Mr. Kirk, since you were looking out into the garden, perhaps you saw Howard Langley out there. Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I did. That's why I asked Drake about Margo Stevens. They were necking in the bushes. That's a lie! I wasn't in the garden with Howard or anyone else. Young lady, I will not tolerate such outbursts. But it's not true. Any more interruptions, and I'll have the bailiff remove you from the courtroom. It was really pretty dark. Maybe I'm wrong. But I doubt it. Then how can you be certain the man was Howard Langley? Well, I saw him go outside. Your Honor, at this time, I would like to recall Howard Langley to the stand. Your Honor. Counselor's strategy is transparently obvious. These desperate attempts to cover his own client's guilt by directing suspicion on others-- Mr. Mason? If it please the court, the suspicion is already in existence and should be clearly established or eliminated. Surely our prosecutor, with his great tolerance, can't object to that. The suspicion exists, Your Honor, in Mr. Mason's mind and nowhere else. Neither the police nor the District Attorney's office could find any grounds for it. Then by your own argument, Mr. Mason can only weaken his own defense by recalling the witness. Howard Langley will return to the witness stand. Mr. Langley, at this time, I ask you for the name of the woman you say was in the garden with you. Mr. Mason, you have no right to expose an innocent person to this kind of notoriety. Very well. If this court will agree to hear your testimony in private, will you then answer? No. No, I can't see that I must. You realize that in refusing to answer, you might be held in contempt of court. I can only do what my conscience dictates. Mr. Langley, didn't you go to your wife's bedroom that night? No. And didn't you find her unconscious from a drug she'd been given? No. Didn't you also find that the necklace had been stolen? And didn't you then kill your wife, using this weapon? That's not true! Not true that the necklace had been stolen? Did you also take the necklace, Mr. Langley? No, I didn't. No, I was in the garden, I tell you, all that time. I never left! But a certain woman left that garden, didn't she? The nameless woman you'd been embracing-- That woman left the garden, didn't she? Well-- Well, yes. She did, as a matter of fact. Who was that woman, Mr. Langley? Gina Gilbert. You filthy old man! You didn't have to tell him! [judge pounding] Don't you know what I did for you? Stupid, filthy, rotten man! I knew Howard made a hopeful play for every woman he ever met, but I never guessed he'd got around to Gina. It had gone further than that, Mr. Kirk. Gina wanted to marry Howard and help him manage Merle's estate, if only Olivia could have been disposed of. A divorce wasn't the answer because Olivia had such a hold over Merle. Then Danny came on the scene. Danny was looking for someone who had entree to the wealthy set. Gina went along with his plan to steal the necklace because first he knew that she was wanted by the police back east and second because it afforded her a perfect chance to murder Olivia. Gina put on an evening gown, slipped quietly through the party, killed the unconscious Olivia, and got back in time to meet the messenger who delivered the stolen diamonds. Oh, that's what you meant when you said the girl at the motel was not maybe disrobed. Exactly. It was her evening gown Gina didn't want the messenger to see. And, in the normal course of events, Danny would have been suspected of the murder. But things are never normal when little-- Hey, look at the new dress. Della picked it out. Oh, I did not. Isn't she pretty? Sure is. How about a date? Merle, I think you owe these people a very, very large encomium. What for, Julian? Well-- thanks. For saving your life. Oh, I was going to give them all a big kiss for that, silly. Subtitled By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA Now, you may not be the man I want, but don't make me kill you. Turn around slow. You John Tyree? I am. You and this country have already cost me a good horse. Which one? You got your mind set on it, we'd better find out. One more thing, though. I didn't kill the marshal. Know that! I didn't kill him. I won't try to prove it. Only the man in Texas. All right, where? Nowhere at all, gunfighter. You done killed yourself a set of perfectly good saddlebags that cost me eight Yankee dollars in gold. And if you didn't kill my last pint of... of water between me and the angels. Where did you ever learn to shoot? In a better school than you did, fortunately. I don't usually miss, friend. Neither do I, and I better straighten you out on one thing. I am no friend of yours. Here. Just here. That'll be dry, too. Worth one, but it's gonna be dry, too. I gotta admire you for finding them at all. You must have some Apache blood in you. That Silmser, he was from my own part of west Texas. I liked the man. I'll bet you did. I bet you cried when you staked him out on the ground. Here. Well, Tyree... I just don't have the inclination or the breath to offer you the water a second time. Friend, I could say I don't want any. I could say that I don't want any because if I'd have shot straight, I wouldn't have these... these chains on my wrist. Or your company. Just my own pleasant solitude to die in, huh? I could say that. Or I could say that... that I don't want it, because I'm too proud to be given something that, in reality, I'm gonna take! You have a bad disposition... and a big mouth. Like I told you, I am no friend of yours. Well, I'm not beat, you understand? I'm just a little more respectful. But I am thirsty. Thanks a lot, anyway. Now wait a minute! You know, I saw a man do that one time down in Mexico. He come on a great big water hole about an hour later. All that sweet water, he didn't have nothing to carry it away in. Like to see a man with a nice even disposition. Come on. I've tracked you for six weeks through this country. You know it just like the back of your own hand. Where are we gonna find water? Maybe the, maybe the Times' place. They never have run dry there. Or so I'm told. But you're gonna give out before we get there. Tyree. You don't figure I did this. Possible. Hasn't been dead half a day. Well, what about Silmser? You don't think I stabbed him in the back and did this to him. Let's bury him. I asked you a question! Did you murder a man in Texas? I did kill a man, but that was long ago and far away and he had a gun in his hand. Now, will you take these chains off? Yeah, there was a girl here, too. She's gone. They probably took her. They? Who are "they," friend? Marauders, maybe. I don't know. The same ones that killed Silmser, huh? Maybe. Now will you take these chains off? Not yet. That's Times' place? That's right. And it never runs dry? So they say. Get away from the rifle. You are getting hasty. You'll get yourself killed. I could die of thirst while you was being too careful, too. - Anything in it? - In what? In the bucket! Well, it sure is heavy. That was my shot foot you dragged me in here with! - You gonna die on me? - No. - You still shoot? - Yes! Friend, you wouldn't shoot me in the back? Friend, if I was gonna shoot you, it wouldn't be in the back. Cover, please. Just tell him to put that down on the floor. That weapon gives him adult status. Tommy... put it down. Please. You hurt my sister, I'll kill you. Son, I got a man outside with a bullet in his leg. Do you want to help me with him? I'm not outside, friend. I'm right behind you. That's a safe place to be, if you're not a liar. Have any water? No. No, I don't. We're some thirsty, ma'am. If you could just spare us a half a cup apiece. We got less than a gallon. It's for the boy. Tommy. Mmm. Oh, that sure is good, ma'am. Haven't you got any manners? Excuse me, ma'am. It's miss, not ma'am. Where's your family, menfolk? Well, yesterday, some men... Tommy! They dead? They're away, that's all. The storm's keeping 'em away. And the Apaches? No, the Mongoles and the Chiricahuas water here. We live at peace with them. Oh? You live at peace with the marauders, too? - They water here, too? - Not until you drank. You better get off that leg. I'll take the key now, friend. You are a liar and a cheat and a coward. Just the key. Not in the back. You can turn around, if you want to. I'm just trying to save your life, that's all. You kill me, you're gonna protect this half girl, half woman? and that boy? One thing is clear. The world has lost a brave, a valiant heart. An humble man, a man of small pretensions, Boise Peabody's last dying wish was... Boise Peabody? I come to see my brother buried, not the little snake that killed him. Fill it up. Wait a minute. After the ceremony, all right? Fill it up. Stop! Stop, stop! The proudest moment of my life. The whole mining camp turned out to pay their last respects. You ain't gonna spoil it for me. Boise, ain't you dead? He is now. Boise Peabody killed your brother in a fair fight. Uh-huh, and now I'm gonna kill him. He's not armed. That's a mistake that you ain't likely to make again now, are you, Boise? Fontana, I won't stand here and watch you murder him. Just do whatever you like. Now then. I, uh... Well, no man ever died more convenient to a grave. You're sure that we're doing the right thing? I think it's best. Best for you. I guess so. "Have Gun Will Travel" Reads the card of a man A knight without armor in a savage land His fast gun for hire Heeds the calling wind A soldier of fortune Is the man called Paladin Paladin, Paladin, where do you roam? Paladin, Paladin, far, far from home ## [theme] [Man] And so that is just like I told you. [laughter] All right, all right! Now listen some more! Already it is 30 years since I came here from Copenhagen to start my shop. I do not marry. I put my heart in my hands and shape the wood. People like, and I make the shop bigger and bigger, and I put more and more men to work. Good men, all of you. The best. Old friends, I know what is in your heads. You want to know why I stop you from work to talk to you like this. I think everybody that knows Axel Norstaad knows my dream that someday, here in our little Danish part of the Valley, we have our own Children's Hospital. And now, at last, I find a way to make this dream to be fulfilled. Edie, you will help me? You will tell them for me, yes? Of course, Axel. This is my new and good friend Miss Morrow, from Beverly Hills. When I tell Edie what I want to do, she helps me. What's happened is this: Axel is selling his shop here and with it his highly honored trademark. The proceeds will go into a Hospital Fund, and I'm happy to tell you that the local church committee and others have pledged that they will match that amount dollar for dollar. [Men grumbling] Boys, boys, what does this mean? You are afraid you lose your jobs? You think Axel Norstaad would let this happen? Of course not. Now I will show you your new employer. Mr. Martin Somers of Long Beach, where he has big, big furniture factory. Mr. Somers, I introduce you around. Tell your boss I just dropped in to-- Mr. Hadley. We didn't expect to see you here. I'm sure you didn't. Losing bidders are supposed to go home and shut up. Hello, Hadley. Hello, Norstaad. I gather it's all signed and delivered. Sorry I gave you such a legitimate offer. I don't know what you mean. It's nothing, Axel. Everybody wanted your trademark. Mr. Hadley just needs a consolation drink, that's all. It isn't me that needs the drink. Miss Morrow, you may be a very fine little promoter, but your knowledge of the furniture business-- You just say those things to me, Hadley. And maybe you better say them outside. Take it easy, Axel. I'm the one he's throwing the sour grapes at. You bet your life I am. The slide trombone of the furniture business. Well, Norstaad, according to your bidding rules, the highest bidder is supposed to put down $50,000 before the contract is signed. Have you seen one penny of Somers' money yet? I've got the check right here. - That satisfy you? - No. I think Mr. Hadley is being quite hysterical. Axel, a deal is a deal, and I see no justification for the slightest delay in signing the contract. Good. Let's do it right now. Lisa, give to me the contracts. There's no fool like an old fool. When first I see sketch like this one month ago, I say yes. This is what Children's Hospital should look like. And then I say, "Mr. Reed, it is like you look into my mind and into my heart and put on paper what you see there." Now it is all done with blue paper and arithmetic. Edie, you like it? Yes, I like it very much indeed. You don't know how happy I am to hear that, Miss Morrow. Why shouldn't you hear it? Isn't Edie friend of yours? I tell you a secret, Latham. When you bring me sketch and idea, this is very good. But next thing you do for me is even better. When I say "Where we will get the money?" you say "I know beautiful lady who knows all about how to raise money." Axel, please, you're getting carried away Well, what I meant was, well, you know how important this is to me. I think I told you, Mr. Norstaad, that I've been in South America for a good many years, and I've been out of the construction game. This is my chance to get going again. And if you both like the plan, then maybe the Hospital Committee and the others-- Of course they like it. Of course you get job. Just you watch how Edie pushes this through. Nowhere in the world is another woman like-- Please, Axel. Oh. Of course. It gets late, and we should take ourselves home. Oh, Miss Morrow, you might like to point out to the Committee that the design for the hospital conforms perfectly to the topography of the land. Oh, land. Yeah, Edie, you pay over deposit money already? No, not yet. But Maigret, he says-- Don't worry. I just thought it was better if Mr. Somers replaced his $50,000 personal check with a certified one, that's all. He said he'd have it for me tomorrow, and I'll see it goes directly into escrow. Good. Fine, fine. Good night, Edie. Good night, Axel. Good night, Miss Morrow. Much obliged for everything. I mean it, darling. You've handled everything just perfectly. Good night, Mr. Reed. [pounding on door] All right, all right. Coming! Coming, coming! For first time in 30 years, I let myself sleep as much as I want-- - I know-- - ...and you have to come wake me up. I know, Axel, but something is wrong. Lisa, you forget Mr. Somers is boss now. Call him in Long Beach-- No, no. No, Axel. He's the one who's making it wrong. This morning I got a notice from him at the lumber yard. He's canceling the regular monthly order for the shop. Oh. Oh, that's too bad. Axel, you didn't buy all these years from Carl just because he's my brother. You bought because he handles the highest grade of S and F hardwood. Sure, sure, but if Mr. Somers wants to buy somewhere else, can I stop him? You want me to tell you why he cancelled out? I'll tell you why. Because he wants to buy cheap commercial grades of lumber. Nothing but spruce and hemlock. Carl, if Somers did like you say, he will cheapen trademark. He would make it nothing. Why would he want to kill goose that lays the golden eggs? That's crazy. But Carl loses his biggest account. What can we do? [phone rings] I will talk to you later. And do not worry so much. - There will be bigger things for all of us. - [ring] [ring] Hello. Long distance? Chicago? See here, Mr. Norstaad. I've been your leading representative in the Midwest for the past ten years now. You can't do this to me. Do? I do something? You, Somers, who's ever running things-- He's got a salesman in Chicago trying to saturate the market. Why, he's taking orders at prices so low the furniture bearing your trademark could be sold retail for less than I paid you. Oh, no. No, that's impossible. Is it? Well, I've seen signed duplicates of the orders with my own eyes. I call you back. Parker. I told you I wanted you to bring me some pieces to show to salesmen. These pieces ready to show to anybody. - I've told you I want production-- - But he's not in today. If you'll call for an appointment-- So now I need an appointment, huh? What's the matter? You are hiding from somebody? No, no, of course not. Come on into my office where we can talk, Norstaad. Aha. Ramsey from Chicago, he calls me. He tells me that you sell furniture under my trademark cheaper than I can make it. I want to know how can you do that? That's my business, I'm afraid. No, mine. For 30 years I work to build up trademark. Just because we sign contract does not mean that I do not care what goes on. The only thing that concerns you, Norstaad, is that I have a further payment of $200,000 to meet in four months, and after that a continuing royalty of 5% on any furniture I sell under your trademark. I will not let you cheat people under my name. That is my design on top, but not underneath. This is not my chair. This is not a piece of furniture. This is toothpicks. This is trash. Parker! Parker! All right. If you want to play rough, I'll show you I can play a lot rougher. Now go on. Get out of here. Get out of here before I bash in your thick skull! All right. I go. But don't think that you bluff me for one minute. Miss Morrow called about the certified check. Never mind that. Get me Reed on the phone right away. - Who? - Latham Reed! And hurry it up. Would you please tell Miss Morrow that Axel Norstaad is here? Sorry, but she isn't in. Would you care to leave a message? No, I've got to talk to her. I've got to see her right away. Well, she just this moment left. When she will be back? Soon, I imagine. Good. I will wait. So I wait and wait and wait and wait, and still she doesn't come or call or anything. What makes you so sure she didn't know you were there and why? What kind of talk is that? - Please, Carl. - Please what? Why do you need a woman to do things for you? To ask about things? This is none of your business. Well, you sure don't need help from the lady who fixed up your contract with Somers in the first place. You be quiet! Oh, stop it, Axel. Both of you. Stop it. So, what about you, Lisa? You think I'm becoming a mouse, too? Huh? All right! I show you! I show everybody! [ring] I'll get it, Della. Mason speaking. No, no, you just caught me. We've been working late. Mr. Mason, you'll be in your office first thing in morning, yes? Well, I'll be here, but I have a calendar full of appointments. Cancel them. I be there at 9 sharp. And then you fix Somers for me. Do what? Somers. Martin Somers. I tell you all about it tomorrow, but now I got many people to call. You be there. Goodbye. Hello, Axel. Shall I call him back? No. I guess not. He'll be here first thing in the morning. Axel, you think I don't know how it is with you? Lisa, please. No more talk. But all day long, you haven't eaten enough for a sparrow. And now it's late. Oh. [laughing] Oh, that. We'll go to your place. I'll make you some supper. Then you have a good night's sleep. Look. What is it? I don't understand. What does that mean? I'm going to find out. Maigret! Maigret! Maigret! Maigret! What's going on out here? Why you knock my sign down? Why you put up "Sold"? Because it is sold to another party. A shoe company, Axel. They wanted a bigger area, but-- No. You cannot. Now you listen to me. I warned you I couldn't wait. I'd be a fool to, particularly after that check bounced. Like I told the church committee-- Wait, wait. Bounced? What check bounced? That personal check for 50,000 from Somers. I wanted to tell you about it the day I talked to you, but she didn't want me to. She? Your friend from Beverly Hills. Axel, I know Miss Morrow's done quite a good promotion job. At least she sure did sweep everybody around here off their feet. If you got something inside, say it. Don't make up the words. I tried to get hold of her all day. Best I could do was a lot of messages she was tied up someplace. Tied up, my foot. My wife saw her car parked at a bar down the highway not more than two hours ago. - Where? - Outside a motel. The Windmill Inn. ## [loud jazz] Lars! Lars! Come here quick! Hurry, Lars! What is it, Mr. Svenson? Somebody complained the radio in Number 3 had been on loud all night. I went in to check, and- - Hurry, Lars! ## [continues] There. [music stops] Who is it? Name is Somers. Well, go on, call an ambulance. I already phoned the doctor. What for? If your head was bashed in like that, you'd be dead, too. [Man on radio] Mr. Somers had driven up from Long Beach and registered at the Windmill Motel in the Danish section of the Valley around 7:00 last evening. Police are believed to be following several leads in the peaceful, placid little suburb of Los Angeles [radio shuts off] Just a rehash of that 7 a.m. broadcast you heard. Looks like Axel is one of the leads the police are following. That's why I thought we'd better get out here, Della. Why don't you go over and order us some aebliskive? Beg pardon? Danish pastry. I shouldn't be upstairs too long, then we may have a better idea of just how much time we'll be spending here. [knocking] Hello. I'm Perry Mason. Oh, Mr. Mason. It's so good you're here. Come in, come in. [Axel] Lisa, who comes? Hello, Axel. Oh, hello, Mr. Mason. When I call you last night-- uh, meet Lieutenant Anderson. We've met. You Mr. Norstaad's lawyer, Perry? No, no, not for this. For something else. This morning I forget to call you and tell you I do not need appointment anymore. But it is all right. You send me bill anyway. And now you turn around and go back. Goodbye. Well, Axel, as long as I'm already here-- No, no, no, you're such a busy man. We don't want to keep you. Goodbye. Goodbye, Perry. All right, Axel. Good luck, Andy. What's the matter? They stop serving? Mm-mm. Floyd Chapman's over there. All right, let's have a meeting of the Bar Association. Perry. What on earth? Hello, Miss Street. - Hello. - Well, Counselor. [both] What are you doing here? I'm afraid I can't answer that satisfactorily. Can you? Don't see why not. Coffee? Thank you, yes. Right now I'm waiting for Lt. Anderson. I thought he ought to know about a call I got yesterday afternoon from this man Somers who was murdered. Mind letting me know about that call? I represent Axel Norstaad. Norstaad? Small world. Somers wanted me to be ready to file an injunction this morning restraining a man named Norstaad from any future acts of violence and/or interference. And also to put a private detective on the trail of one Latham Reed. I didn't take the case, though. Too busy. Who's Reed? Some building contractor that Somers said may have made off with a certified check for $50,000. When, do you know? Yesterday afternoon. Oh, there's Anderson now. If you'll excuse me. Certainly nice to have seen you both. - Goodbye. - Bye-bye. [door closes] [Axel] No. It cannot be that you have not heard from her in all this time. You must tell me where-- Have I interrupted you? Please, Mr. Mason. Why do you not leave like I tell you? Well, it seemed obvious you didn't want to talk in front of Lt. Anderson. But I do not need you. Axel, what happened between you and Somers yesterday that caused him instruct his attorney to file an injunction against you? Oh, that. That is nothing. I broke a chair, and I had a few words with him, that is all. Don't you feel that you could be in trouble over Somers? The way you talked about him over the phone to me-- Of course not. That is not the trouble that worries me. But you admit you are worried. Don't make your lawyer's talk with me! Axel, have you been able to locate Edie Morrow? Who told you about her? Lisa Pedersen. Lisa is a snoop! Listen to me. This is not how Axel talks about people. And yelling at his friends. That's all right, Axel. If you'll just explain the background of all this, perhaps we could help you find Miss Morrow. If that's the thing that concerns you. Ja. Ja, it is. And just one thing you must promise me, Mr. Mason. If you do find where Edie is, first tell me, not them. Mr. Mason? Perry, this is Mr. Hadley. Sam Hadley, the furniture man. Oh, yes. You were one of the bidders on the Norstaad Shop and trademark. - What can I do for you, Mr. Hadley? - Plenty. I was just talking to Axel on the phone, and he tells me that you're going to resolve this mess that he's got into. Are you assuming that now Mr. Somers is dead, Axel will sell his trademark to you? Why not? I would have had it-- I should have had it in the beginning if it hadn't been for a lot of skullduggery. In my hands, Mr. Mason, there is no limit to what can be done with the Norstaad line. I'd expand his old shop, use the real estate that it's on. I've waited and worked all my life for an opportunity like this. All right, Mr. Hadley. You can keep in touch, if you like. That's all I wanted to say. I intend to keep in touch. Well, it boils down to this, Perry. Somers was such a slick manipulator that few in the trade knew that he was close to being bankrupt. Apparently, he grabbed at the Norstaad trademark as a last, best hope of survival. If he was so hard-pressed, what about the $50,000 down payment? Well, on the strength of getting the Norstaad line, Somers signed some long-term contracts with various supply houses, in return for which they loaned him sizeable sums of money. Still this wasn't enough to boost the total up to 50 grand in time, but this didn't faze Martin Somers at all. He simply stalled by writing a personal check for 50 grand which he knew would bounce, until, of course, yesterday when he apparently had the balance. What about the rest of the cash-- the $200,000 he was supposed to pay in four months? By then, he would have had time to hit the national market with cheap imitations of the Norstaad line. And, by factoring his invoices and using the valuable trademark as bank collateral, chances are he could have swung that, too. And then would have gone on exploiting the trademark for another six months or so, after which it would have been quite worthless. Right. But what a killing he would have made in the meantime. What did you find out about Latham Reed? That, I'm afraid, is going to lift your client right off his launching pad. Reed is Edie Morrow's ex-husband. [phone rings] Yes, Gertie? Put her on. Hello, Lisa. Axel what? Where did he go? I don't know. I said to Axel, "Go back into the apartment." I said, "Eat something." But then the phone rang, and he answered, and then he asked me to go back into the shop and not to listen. But he only spoke for a very short time, and then he went out. Who was it on the phone, Lisa? He didn't want to tell me, but I know. I know it was her. Miss Morrow? How do you know? Because she called early this morning. Carl told me. I made him tell. Did your brother tell you what she said on the earlier call? Yes. For Axel to call her at a number. At, uh, at Mountain 33497. Sorry, but the lodge is full up. No checkouts today. We're looking for a woman. She was driving an expensive convertible with a man asleep in the back. They told us at Conley Corners she stopped there about 8 a.m. asking for a room. We do mostly vacation business. The woman was around 40-- very striking, silver haired. Now, did she, uh, stop here? I sent her down to Joe's Cabins, a few hundred yards down the road. I guess she found a vacancy there, all right. What makes you think so? I've seen her car shuttling back and forth to the junction once or twice. Matter of fact, she went in that direction not ten minutes ago. Toward the stores. Thank you. I'll drive up to Joe's Cabins. I'll take a look at the junction. Yeah, I-I'm Reed. Latham Reed. But you might as well know now, Mr. Mason, I- - I just can't remember. What can't you remember? Here, sit up. Nothing. From that moment yesterday afternoon when Somers offered me a highball and I said no, make mine lemonade. Thought it tasted funny - for lemonade. Used to be an alcoholic. For three years I didn't touch a drop. Didn't even smell a cork. I'll kill that Somers. Someone already has killed him. Yeah. Edie told me. First good news I've had since she brought me to. Where did she find you? Mmm. You'll have to ask her that when she comes back with more coffee. You took a certified check yesterday, isn't that right? A check for $50,000? A check that Somers asked you to deliver and endorse over to a hospital fund? How should I know? When she found me, she said that I had $7,000 in $500 bills. - Now-- - [door opens] Now what? I couldn't spot her, Perry. No sign of Axel, either. Think maybe she arranged to duck out and meet him somewhere else? She just went down to get me some more coffee. Millie's Barbecue. Maybe that's around on the other road. I was beginning to think you wouldn't come. Edie, always I come when you need me. Axel, I've so much to explain to you. No, no. Not now. I- - I only wanted to help you, but I did everything wrong. I should have told you in the beginning. I don't want to hear. Come, get into the car. I have money. Come. - What? - And no one will catch us. And whatever has happened, I don't want to know. Come. [Mason] Axel. So. Who tells you where to find us? Never mind that. Axel, as your attorney-- You stay out of this. Well, they can't have her. Somers he was no good. Take it easy, Mr. Norstaad. It's not the lady I'm arresting for murder. It's you. Now, Mr. Pedersen, we've heard testimony that on the afternoon of Somers' murder, Axel Norstaad got so angry that he smashed a chair and threatened Martin Somers. Did the defendant say anything to you about this occurrence? No, but I could tell he was awfully upset. Would you tell us what he said or did? Yes. I was sure that Axel had seen Mr. Somers in Long Beach, so I wanted to hear how he'd made out. And how were you able to tell that he was awfully upset? Axel loves animals. He's always feeding stray cats and dogs at the shop. Well, this favorite cat was meowing to come in. Axel picked up a coffee cup from the desk and threw it. Mr. Pedersen, why were you so anxious to learn the results of Axel's meeting with Mr. Somers? Well, like I said, the Cabinet Shop had been my best account, and now Somers was cutting me off from it. Did this come at a particularly inopportune time for you? Yes, I'd fixed up my lumberyard. Fixed it up? In what way? New sheds, boosted my inventory of hardwoods, and...things like that. Thank you. That'll be all. Now, when Mr. Somers called you the afternoon of the murder and you went to see him, Mr. Reed, was anything said about the defendant? S-Somers called him a wild man. He- - He said he'd going to tame him if it was the last thing he did. What explanation, if any, did he give for calling you in and telling you this? Said he wanted my help. What kind of help? Through my former wife Edie-- Edith Morrow. He had an idea that... she could wrap him around her-- the old guy around her little finger. - Objection, Your Honor. - Sustained. Your witness. Mr. Reed, was Axel Norstaad aware of the fact that you and Miss Morrow were previously man and wife? No. Was it your idea or hers to keep this from him? Mine. I'd been an alcoholic. I was afraid if he found out too much about my past, it would ruin my chances. What chances? Of getting the full contract on the hospital. Would you tell us the background of that contract? Well, there wasn't a contract yet. You see, I-- I met Mr. Norstaad and drew some preliminary sketches. Then you referred him to Miss Morrow? I said that I knew a woman that was talented in business, that's all. He went to her himself. Talented in business. Did you tell him that she was successful, wealthy? Not exactly, but-- Not exactly? Then did you tell him that her car had only been one quarter paid for? That the extravagant apartment in which she entertained his committees had only been rented the day after they met? That her fur coat was borrowed? Stop that! I object. I object. Mr. Reed, you've admitted that you tried to conceal the facts of your past life. Did Mr. Somers know those facts? Yes, he did. I won't ask you to incriminate yourself, Mr. Reed, but when you were first interviewed by me and then by the police, you had several thousand dollars in your pocket. I just can't explain that. Do you recall cashing a certified check the previous day? No, I can't recall anything. Now, Mr. Maigret, what time was it when you told Axel Norstaad that you had just seen Miss Edie Morrow outside a motel called the Windmill Inn? Axel stormed up to my house about 9:00, I'd say. Maybe a few minutes later. And when he left your house, did he go in the direction of the motel? Yes, sir. He-- well, he left my place running. Running? Tell me this, how far is your place from the Windmill Inn? It's about three blocks, that's all. Well, Axel came roaring into my barroom at the motel. When he got his breath back, he says he's looking for this Edie Morrow. Says he's going to find her if he has to tear the place apart. Well, I finally got it across to him that she'd walked out some time before with a man named Somers. What did the defendant say then? He demanded to know where they'd gone. All I could tell him was that Somers was staying at the motel. So Axel rushed off again. Now, we've heard the testimony of the autopsy surgeon to the effect that Martin Somers met his death sometime between 9 and 9:30. What time was it that the defendant rushed out of your barroom? Mm, 9:10, 9:15 maybe. Thank you. Cross-examine. No questions. Miss Pedersen, you were employed by the defendant as his confidential secretary? No, sir. I was the entire office force-- stenographer, bookkeeper, everything. From the time when I was still a young woman. Now, referring you to the morning after the homicidal death of Mr. Somers. On that morning, when you arrived at the Norstaad office, the defendant already there, and you saw him lighting something in the stove, is that correct? The stove? The old-fashioned pot-bellied stove in which wood scraps were burned to keep the office warm in the winter. Only it wasn't winter, and it wasn't cold. And nevertheless, you saw Mr. Norstaad that morning lighting a match to something in that stove, didn't you? Yes. They made me tell it, Axel. No further questions. Now, Miss Pedersen, since you've described yourself as the whole office force, perhaps you can tell us about the bids. Bids? Oh, you mean for Axel's real estate? His shop and trademark. Yes. How many bidders were there? I think there were about 15 bids. They were all in writing, by-- by registered mail. Now, who looked at those bids? Prior to the granting of the contract, that is. Mostly just Axel. Mostly? Did anyone else see them? They were always locked in my desk. Did Axel tell you to show them to anyone else? Yes. To Miss Morrow. When my men went to look at Norstaad's shop, there was still smoke coming out of the chimney. Naturally, they checked further. I see. I show you now this police exhibit and ask you if you can identify it for us, Lieutenant. It's a scorched bit of material we found in the stove. Was this material subjected to laboratory analysis, and if so, what were the results? We found a bloodstain on it-- blood of the same type as that of the victim. Were you able to discover where this material with the victim's bloodstain on it came from, Lieutenant? Uh, Norstaad, the defendant, had two pair of pants to the suit he was wearing the night Somers was killed. One pair is now missing. And this material is identical to that of the suit. It's been established that Mr. Somers was located in bungalow number 3. Where were you, sir? Here, two doors down. What time did you check out? I'm a salesman, see? And I like to travel at night. So it was about 20 past 9 when I put the bags in the car. That's when I saw him. Saw whom? Him. Let the record show that the witness pointed to the defendant, Axel Norstaad. What was he doing when you saw him? He was running like a scared rabbit out of the cabin. How can you be so sure of your identification of a figure you saw running away into the night? Well, I ought to be able to identify Axel Norstaad. I've been selling him a line of paint specialties for years. This is how it was, Mr. Mason. First I went to see the bartender. Then I went into the office of the motel, and I saw the register. And Somers is room 3. I knock on the door. There is no answer. But the door is open, and the radio is playing, so I go in. "Somers", I say, "if you try to make trouble for Edie like you do for me--" And then I see him on the floor. I bend down to look. And it was while you were bending over him that you got the blood on your trouser leg. Yes. And when I saw that... also how it would look if someone come in and find me there, then I- - How do you say it? -- I lose my head and run away. Do you believe me, Mr. Mason? No. But you're getting closer to the truth. Since I am grown man, I do not lie, big or little lie. That was before you met Edie Morrow. - How many times-- - Axel! You heard everything in court. Now, do you still think you should hide the truth just because it might implicate that woman? Of course I do. She is good woman. I do not kill, so how you think I can possibly-- No, no, I-- I do not know so much. Got it, Perry. You find that man at the bank? Yep. The certified check was issued, all right, but so far it hasn't been cashed. Now that the weekend's over, other checks are starting to come in. With that 50,000 earmarked by the bank, there's just not enough money in Somers' accounts to cover them. But I don't understand. Somers never intended that the certified check be cashed, Della. He had it drawn up in case anyone made inquiries at the bank. But he intended to return it after the weekend to cover his other checks. He was just stalling for time. How do you explain the $7,000 found in Latham Reed's pockets? Planted on him by Somers, of course. Somers just wanted the poor guy to think he'd cashed the check, just as he wanted everyone to think it. Why, that stinker. Item 2: The State's dug up an airlines clerk who says that the day before the murder, two tickets to Copenhagen were reserved by the Somers office in the name of Edie Morrow. Burger may be holding that back, though, at least until the jury trial. In other words, they don't know that I know. Paul... you finally deserve some supper. Good. But wait a minute. I haven't served up the piece-de-resistance yet, as we hungry men say. Well? About those bids. On the day the bidding officially closed, Somers had already turned out the first pilot models of the Norstaad line at his factory. Now, Miss Morrow, Why did you find it necessary to talk to Mr. Somers at the motel in the evening? Well, I'd been looking in every bar I could find, and I was still unable to locate Latham- - Mr. Reed. And inasmuch as Mr. Somers had threatened to put a private detective on his trail, I just had to beg for time. Well, did you discuss Axel Norstaad with Somers? Yes, briefly. You were well aware, were you not, that Martin Somers had instructed his attorney to file an injunction against the defendant the next morning? Yes. And you were afraid of what Mr. Norstaad would do when he found out about this? I wanted Mr. Somers to wait at least until I could find Latham until I found out what had happened to the $50,000 so I could go to Axel and explain everything - and tell him how much at fault I was and-- - All right. And what did Mr. Somers say? Did he agree to give you more time? He said it all depended. Depended on what? On whether or not the defendant stayed away from him, let him alone? I suppose so. Please, don't make any suppositions. Answer me yes or no. - Yes! - Thank you. Your witness. Miss Morrow, did it ever occur to you that Somers might have lied about giving Reed that certified check for delivery? Yes. But he was very positive. So positive that he flew into a rage and threatened you with his cane? No, no. It was nothing like that. He seemed to be very sure of getting me to do what he wanted. Does that explain the tickets to Copenhagen reserved in your name at a Los Angeles airlines office? Or did you reserve those tickets yourself-- How did he find out about that? ...intending to leave town as soon as you or Latham Reed had $50,000 in hand? No, no, the tickets were Mr. Somers' idea, and it was just an idea, that's all. It was...a gift he planned. What sort of gift? What were the tickets for? He said he wanted to get Axel out of his hair. He suggested I persuade him to go away on a long trip with me. A honeymoon. What was your answer? Well, how on earth could I promise to marry a man who's never said one word but "furniture" to me? Who never in any way has told me that-- that he feels as I do? Is this court to understand, Mr. Hadley, that you had a meeting with Mr. Somers the day of his death? Yes. It was at his factory, that same evening, about 6:30, before he left Long Beach. How did this meeting come about? Well, I had heard a rumor that he was going to close down the cabinet shop, so I went right over to see him. I figured that the least he owed me was a chance at Axel's real estate. I also wanted to know if he was going to fire all those fine craftsmen. - I wanted to hire some of them. - What did Mr. Somers say to that? Told me to help myself, that they'd all be looking for a job next morning. I told him that Axel would blow his top. I think that'll be all, sir. Thank you. Cross-examine. Just where at the Somers factory did this conversation take place? Well, it was in the parking lot that I ran into him, actually. You share a common parking lot with Somers' factory? No, no, of course not. Then how did you know you'd be able to reach him there? I called him at his office. They said he'd be leaving. - You called from where? - From my home. - Really, I don't see-- - You went home and then you decided? No, no, I'd gone home for an early bite because I knew I had to come back to the office that evening. It was on my way. Really, Your Honor, I don't see-- May it please the court, I ask permission at this time to recall a witness. Yes, Axel told me to put in calls long distance-- one for you and one for Mr. Hadley. The call to Mr. Hadley, what time was that? Right after you hung up. About 8? 8:30? Was the call completed? No. The phone rang and rang, but no answer. All right. So I drove up to the Valley. It was there at the motel that I spoke to Somers. I lied to the police, Your Honor, and then I didn't know how to stop the lie. But I did not kill Somers. I swear it. Mr. Burger, in view of Mr. Hadley's admission, I'll leave the matter of perjury charges against him up to your office. Is it your desire to recall Mr. Hadley at this time, Counselor? There is one point I believe this witness might be able to clarify, Your Honor. All right, proceed. Now, Miss Pedersen, let's explore Mr. Hadley's suggestion that there was collusion in the handling of the bids. Now, you testified, did you not, that the bids were kept locked in your desk, that only Axel and Edith Morrow knew what the figures were? Yes. Yes, I think so. Then let me ask you this. Why had your brother Carl expanded his lumberyard, building new sheds and so on, when his principal client was about to sell out to a purchaser yet unknown? Well, uh, Carl is sometimes a fool. Miss Pedersen, isn't it possible that your brother Carl knew who the highest bidder was going to be? Knew and expected Mr. Somers to reward him with lumber contracts far exceeding anything he'd ever dreamed of? I don't understand. We all know what kind of a man Somers was. Isn't it possible that he promised those lumber contracts in return for private information about the other bidders? No. No, no, no. Carl, he would never get mixed up in anything like that. Isn't it even possible that your brother Carl advanced money to Somers? He didn't pay him one penny. Then did you? To help your brother? You were the person in whose desk the bids were kept. You, the person who knew everything that was going on. All right. I told Carl that I would fix it with Mr. Somers about the bids, yes. Because Axel was so stupid to sell our shop was no reason for everyone to suffer. That big, stupid-- It was my shop! My office! Who do you think everyone was looking to for running things? Me. Lisa Pedersen. But I paid Mr.- - Mr. Somers nothing. Who else did you tell about those bids? Who else could have had private dealings with Somers? I don't understand. I don't remember. Lisa, do you recall correspondence with a certain shoe company in Chicago? A company interested in obtaining a large building site? A company who had written concerning the property occupied by Axel's cabinet shop? Oh, that. I- - I threw that in the wastebasket. Yet that company still expected to obtain the property, just as they'd already obtained the land next to it, the land once slated for Axel's Hospital? Now think hard, Lisa. Who else did you tell about the bids? It must have been a man who dealt with Somers, since he obviously knew what Somers had planned. It must have been a man who, on the night of the murder, told Axel where to find Somers. Now, it must have been-- [Lisa] Yes. Yes, I told him. Somers was a crook. And out-and-out crook. Oh, yes, I knew it. And what he was up to-- everything. I paid him to tell me. In return I was to have an option on the property he never intended to use anyway. Yes, I could make a killing on my own land, but they had to have the other property, too. I'd promised I could deliver. Oh, I made a killing, all right. When I tried to get Somers' option in writing, he wanted more money to cover all those checks that he was kiting, or else he'd block my sale, block it so I couldn't deliver. He wanted more money, then more. We got into a fight, and-- that's-- that's how I made my killing. Axel, for heaven's sake hurry up! The plane won't wait, Axel. I forgot I need another shirt. Here, I'll do that. It's so nice of both of you to come and see us off. Ja, we send you a postcard from Copenhagen. And, Mr. Mason, you won't forget-- The hospital. Don't worry. We'll get that land back. And raise the money. Mr. Hadley's already helping. Ja. I forget my neckties. Here. Edie, you just get him outside. We'll bring the suitcases. Ja, we go. There is no fool like an old fool. Ah. Such a pity. Hm? That a man like that should have to wait all those years to get married. Don't you agree? You've been my legal secretary long enough to know that that's a leading question. Here. You take that one. Uh-- Subtitled By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA Up your oars! Jump to it! Press gang muster on the jetty. I shall return to Defiant in three hours. - We'll have the crew ready to serve. - Thank you, Mr. Scott-Padget. Press gang! Stop him! Catch him! Don't let him get away! - Press gangs are busy tonight. - Yes, probably ours. We're a few men short. Well, a few dozen. Things get worse. The English sailor's lost his taste for fighting. Maybe he's lost taste for the conditions in which he fights. - Must have discipline. - His Majesty's Navy uses a heavy hand. At times, perhaps too heavy. Apart from finer feelings, it could be dangerous. The lower deck's like a prison. No freedom, irregular pay, and food that even rats won't touch. - I speak out of turn. - True, every word. We've enough trouble without provocation. Still, that's for the Admiralty to settle. - Sailing orders, Crawford. - Thank you, sir. - I report to Jarvis in Corsica? - Correct. With all possible speed. Try to avoid any side issues on the way. How's your glass? Your first lieutenant, Mr. Scott-Padget what do you make of him? - He is both efficient and keen. So keen, he's out with the press gang. I hate tattling. No cursing his efficiency and devotion to duty, but I should warn you... If you'll forgive me, sir, I'd prefer to make up my own mind. No. Don't! You mustn't resist the king's pressmen. We've only been married three days. - You don't want him! He's not a sailor. - We shall teach him. Don't take him from me. You can't! - I beseech you. Have pity on us. - Bring him along. These men are from the Defiant. Press gang. - From our ship. - We're Navy, they can't touch us. We'd have some explaining to do. - Come with us. - You can't, he's a gentleman. Of course I am. Take your hands off me. - Sir? Am I in error? - Thank heaven you're here. - You can see I'm a gentleman. - Look at his lovely clothes. - Take him, Dawlish. - But you can't. - Vizard, you sail tomorrow? - Yeah, Mediterranean. - So you should count us out for now. - No need. Spread word to that fleet. If both fleets struck at once, we'd win our demands overnight! - You'll act soon, then? - Yes, soon every ship will mutiny. - Before spring? - Depends. How's your crew? Forty more pledges. - We have half the ship already. - Good. Poor men, driven like cattle. I don't understand it. Having to be pressed to go to sea? - Not everyone wants to leave home. - Think of it! Sailing the Defiant and fighting the French. You sound just like your father. Anyway, the admiral may not agree to let you go. Father's back. - What did the admiral say? - Say? About Harvey. No objection. After all, it's the custom. - Time to find your sea legs. - Thank you. - Get your things. We'll get settled. - I'm ready. Harvey. Sorry, Mother. Goodbye, my dear. Look after yourself. - Goodbye, Mother. - Wait for me below. - He'll find things a bit different. - He's only 12. Don't worry. He'll be fine. How long this time? A year? - Less, perhaps. - Only "perhaps"? - I hate goodbyes on the jetty. - I know what you'll say. - So I'll take my leave now. - You left me days ago when you caught sight of the sea. - Goodbye. - Goodbye. God keep you both. - What do you think of her? - She's beautiful. Toss your oars up. We should say goodbye. Once we sail, we won't have a chance to talk. Goodbye, Father. Goodbye, Harvey. - Boat! - Aye, aye, sir. Carry on, Mr. Crawford. Boat ahoy! Captain's jolly boat coming alongside, sir. - Full company aboard. - Good. This is Midshipman Crawford. You must be proud to serve with your father. Take the captain's son below and introduce him to his messmates. Stand by to hoist. Pass the word that Crawford is to be treated the same. Understood, sir. Lots of women aboard. Wives, I reckon. Hello, my love. Who are they? Them? They're the pressed men. Follow me. Bye-bye, love. Get those wretched women off! - Hoist away! - Dawlish! Swing them over! - Clear the deck! - See you next trip. - All supplies aboard, sir. - Thank you. Parade the recruits. - Parade recruits! - On deck. Look lively, will you? Come on, come on. Fall in at the end of the lines. - Where are you going? - I must see the captain. Get in that line. Recruits ready for inspection. One wants to be put ashore, sir. - I brought him myself. He's a fraud. - I'm as good as... My antecedents are as honourable as your own. - What's your name? - Percival Palliser Wagstaffe. - Are you related to Admiral Wagstaffe? - He's a distant cousin. He would speak for you? How well do you know him? - Intimately. Often. - You visit him? You claim that, do you? Do you also claim to be a madman? - To visit someone who doesn't exist... - Not exist? My cousin? I just invented him. What are you? A clerk? - Keep silence! - Yes, sir. Well, I'm promised to study law. Very well, Mr. Dawlish. - Ready for inspection, sir. - Thank you. The usual beach combings. It'll take hard work. They haven't been sworn yet. What does the surgeon say? Ah, Mr. Goss. Well, they'll do. They'll do very well, sir. - Excuse me. I appeal. - What? - I'm a gentleman. - An impostor. - I questioned him. Excuse me, sir. - Mr. Scott-Padget? - I must ask you not to turn your back. - I apologize, sir. - My other duties... - Until dismissed, your duty is with me. Lads, don't think it's the end. This ship has a fine crew. Many were pressed like yourselves. We have every hope of an exciting cruise and rich prizes. Learn your duties, obey orders and no harm will come to you. Remember, the only enemy is the Frenchman. Read these men the Articles of War, they are compulsorily enlisted. Now, you may proceed with your other duties. Thank you, sir. Muster on the forecastle. I'll read the Articles. Turn forward and follow me. Get them moving! Use your starter! Aye, aye, sir. Jump to it, you swabs! Anchors aweigh! Up aloft there. Come on. Look lively, lads. Next! Next! Set the foresail. Give her the mainsail. Lift the jib! Full speed! - Don't look down, swab! - Keep them moving, damn your eyes! Go higher, you scum! Last man down sent for punishment! Get them moving there! Come on, there. Jump to it! Come on, jump to it! That's not good enough. We'll do it again. Now. Come on, up the rigging. Get up! Come on now! Up the rig, there. Have they died up there? Keep it moving! Much better. You've accomplished wonders with them. - Thank you, sir. - Don't press them too hard. Twelve minutes 45 seconds to beat. They'll do it this time. - Is he badly hurt? - Leg broken, sir. Get him to the surgeon. - That'll be enough drill for today. - Carry on, down below. - Dismiss the starboard watch! - Mr. Scott-Padget will you have dinner with me? - Starboard watch secure. - Thank you, sir. - What about the man injured today? - Not too good. I may have to take the leg off. I'm sorry. Mr. Scott-Padget asked if he can return to duty. - You don't like him. - I've served with him before. - When? - In the Beedle. Bad ship, that was. Far too much flogging. There was a man killed. - Under punishment? - Yes, sir. I can deal with Mr. Scott-Padget. Maybe, sir. Do you know what happened to the Beedle's captain? The lordships of the Admiralty broke him and his two previous captains. Influence? When somebody of enormous power has a mistress and that mistress has a son, the son has great influence at his back. - I see. - He's a most brilliant young officer. A future Drake with a vicious streak and a silver spoon. Sir, it could be his making. Good evening. Can I offer you some Madeira? - Yes. - I'll be going. Thank you, Mr. Goss. Would you like to know our orders? We join the fleet at Corsica, report to Admiral Jarvis. Convoy duty. Orders say "with all possible dispatch." We'll not put in at Gibraltar, but you'll have time to train. I hope so. I'd like to practice gunnery next week. Good. I know how hard it is working up a green crew but I'd like you to go easier on them. The first few weeks, we use methods none of us like. - You're questioning me. - I haven't said so. I know the value of discipline. - It's all that matters. - It's never all. It can exist in a happy ship. The ideal is always possible, sir. If the men cooperate. I'm sure they will. I'll give you a toast! To Defiant. An efficient and happy ship. An efficient ship. And death to the French. Depends on your gun drill. Mr. D'Arblay, get them into position! Jumping about like jackrabbits! Fire! Get back! - Oh, sir, I never meant to... - Sergeant! Put this man under arrest. For making to strike an officer. You'll be flogged for this. Six dozen lashes. Wheatley, you're under arrest. - You made to strike an officer? - No, sir. I wouldn't have. - I've learned that much. - But you did put up your fists? Well, answer me! An impulse, instantly regretted. - What was that? - An impulse, sir. Instantly regretted. - Where did you learn that phrase? - It's true, sir. Threatening officers is serious, but given your clean sheet I'll be lenient. Two dozen lashes. - I said six. - March him out. Right turn. Forward march. There were many people who heard me say six. It was not your decision to make. - Did you take note of that phrase? - Phrase, sir? "An impulse, instantly regretted." It may mean nothing. But in my opinion, he'd been drilled in it. - Drilled, sir? By whom? - I wish I knew. - He remembered his piece. - It didn't save him, did it? It helped. Only two dozen. Scott-Padget must have nigh run mad. - You know what two dozen means? - Shut your mouth. It means a soft captain. My old captain on the Swift he never gave less than six dozen. Yes, that's what he gave me. Six dozen. Look here! All hands on deck to witness punishment! Go on, jump to it! Jump to it! Ship's company, attention! - Company ready to witness punishment. - Carry on. - Prisoner ready, sir. - Commence punishment. Start the roll! One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten! Eleven! Twelve! Thirteen! Fourteen! Fifteen! Sixteen! Seventeen! Eighteen! Nineteen! - Twenty! Twenty-one! - Only three more. Look at your feet. Twenty-three! Twenty-four! - Punishment completed, sir. - Cut him down. Aye, aye, sir. Cut him down. Ship's company! Turn forward! Dismissed! Fair weather, Mr. Ponsonby. "I, Richard Dawlish, of His Majesty's ship, Defiant do swear to be true to the cause and serve on the counsel of action. - Even to the laying down of my life." - Well done, Dawlish. "Corsica, Leghorn, last remaining British bases." Message ends. - Acknowledge. - Aye, aye, sir. Grave news, sir. Napoleon's overrunning Italy. Spain will be on his side. - I presume you want to put in here. - Nothing changed our orders... - No, but since... ...which are to proceed to Corsica. Set the t'gallants. Take over the watch, Mr. Ponsonby. Sir. - We should return to Gibraltar. - Have you set the t'gallants? - No, not yet, sir. - Why not? If we go to Corsica, we may sail into a trap. - I have my orders. - Yes, sir to join Admiral Jarvis, who may not be there. - You're well informed. - He's bound to sail here to safety. Here, he won't be trapped or cut from his bases and supplies by the enemy fleet. - Admiral Jarvis is no fool. - He'd be happy to hear you say so. He would have done as I said. Our responsibility is to carry out existing orders. We're responsible for the ship. To risk it for orders, instead of using imagination... When you get your own ship, you can sail by imagination. My ship will follow orders from the Admiralty. Whatever the consequences? You may have power over life and death of everyone on this ship. - I warn you, if we come through this... - Yes? Lf? To have followed Admiralty orders may not be enough. I will say this once. I'll not be bullied, and I intend to be obeyed. Your friends mean nothing to me. While you serve this ship, they'll mean nothing to you. You can go now. - Steady as she goes! - Steady, sir. Mr. Ponsonby, set t'gallants. Smartly, Ponsonby. Aye, aye, sir. Topmen aloft! - Set t'gallants! - I can. Get them down. This isn't a nursery. Aye, aye, sir. On deck, Mr. Pardoe! Mr. Crawford! Mr. Crawford! - Find the senior midshipman for me. - Mr. Kilpatrick, sir? - Tell him to see me in the gunroom. - Aye, aye, sir. Get that hatch open. Let some air into the magazine. Did you hear what I said? Open that hatch. But we had it open yesterday, sir. I don't care if it was. I'm giving you an order. Open that hatch! - Orders is weekly. - Stand, you insolent dog! Mr. Kilpatrick? Mr. Scott-Padget wants to see you. - What's he want? - I don't know. He said now. - Get that hatch open at once. - Aye, aye, sir. Carry on, Sergeant Kneebone. - Three more. - I've got seven. - Only five. - Good enough. Only a few more, and we'll have the whole ship. - Now, we write our petition. - Petition! - Why fear the word "mutiny"? - I'm not afraid of it if it fits but it don't. Seize one ship, that's mutiny. No one ever got away. - Seize the fleet, nothing they can do. - They can't hang every man. We'll make them listen to us. Until then spread the gospel. Same as back at Spithead. Yeah. Wait, and wait, and wait. Yes, Evans. Wait. Until the time comes. And when the time comes, Vizard... Scott-Padget! Mr. Kilpatrick, you've been before the board three times. - Each time you've failed. - Yes, sir. - What age are you, 33, 34? - Thirty-five. Thirty-five. - Your chances are getting slight. - Yes, sir. Unless the board had reason to believe you had special qualities. - Special qualities, sir? - Ingenuity during difficulties courage, loyalty to a particular officer an officer with influence, who might use it. Yes, sir. I think I see, sir. You're in charge of disciplining midshipmen, right? - Make them kiss a gunner's daughter. - No fear or favour. How about Mr. Crawford? How does he take it? - I've not had occasion... - Not had occasion? He's made of good stuff, he must be spirited. Therefore, he must get into mischief. If he gets into mischief, he must be punished. The captain insisted on no favouritism. - You heard him say that. - Yes, sir. Well, be watchful, Mr. Kilpatrick. - And diligent. - Yes, sir. And if you ever need my advice, don't hesitate to ask. Thank you, sir. - Don't lie, son. - I didn't do it, sir. - Are those your initials? - Yes, but I just made a scratch. - You could hardly see it. - You did? - You lied to me. - I thought... - It's so marked-up anyway. - It shouldn't be. There's a rule against defacing the table. I've been lenient with you. Too lenient. - Anything to say? - Only that someone else must have... - I have nothing to say. - Nothing? The very time when you should have. We call that dumb insolence. Bring the lamp closer, carpenter. - There is a trace of worm. - I thought you should know. Nothing a little whitewash won't cure. It might make its way to the midshipmen's berth. You should look. If you think it important. Somebody being taught his manners? Overdoing it, isn't he? - That will do. - Aye, sir. All right, get up. - What is he being punished for? - Cutting his initials on the table. - Where is this trouble you mentioned? - Chapman! All I see is a patch of uncoated timber. Is that all? I thought you should see, sir. - The wind's freshening. - Why have you reversed my orders? - Sir? - I wanted the gallants set. - But I find nothing. - I judged... You judged, Mr. Scott-Padget? You judged? - It's good seamanship. - You're impertinent. I won't have my decisions questioned. Go below until I give you permission to come on deck. Clear? Yes, sir. Quite clear. Mr. D'Arblay set the gallants. - Aye, aye, sir. Set the gallants! A beating every day for a week. - Why won't the captain do something? - What can he do? - You all right? - Thank you. Come on, then. We'll go down together. Easy now. Muster on the gun deck. Move! - These stripes are healing nicely. - They're still bloody painful, sir. His own son, eh? Can't the captain see what's going on? Hey, you, come here. Sit down. You said captain can't do anything. What did that mean? - I was guessing... - What's it mean? If he went for Scott-Padget over this, there'd be a court-martial. They'd prove he attacked an officer to protect his son. That'd finish him. If Scott-Padget has influence, it'd be easily done. - How much law do you know, lad? - I was just guessing. So Scott-Padget's gonna rule the roost, run the ship his way. - It's a chance. - What for? Scott-Padget. Stab him in the back. Give him Jonah's toss. - Don't be a fool. - Now look would the captain care if he died? We're after bigger things than one man. And we'll get them with patience. - That's the only word you know. - I know this: If we touch one officer our whole cause is lost. Do you think he heard? That old drunk? What's it matter? - Didn't I tell you to clean this up? - I did. You call this clean? It seems I have to teach you another lesson. Come here. - I hope I'm not disturbing you. - Not in the least, Mr. Goss. I thought I should report that... Report what? Wheatley's recovering from punishment. The others are back on duty. You told me all this yesterday. Really, I wish, sir, to make a suggestion. Well, forgive me if I... What I mean is if he could stay in the sick bay he'd be out of their hands, you see. - Who would be out of whose hands? - Your son. - What are you trying to tell me? - I can hear everything. My quarters are just opposite. These punishments... Is my... Is Mr. Crawford the only one punished? No, but when two or three get beaten, he's always one of them. It's got to stop. On the lower deck, men are beginning to think... - Think what? - What I mean is... Mr. Scott-Padget's compliments, sir. He begs you for an audience, sir. At once, if possible. He said it is of the most vital importance, sir. - Mr. Crawford, go to sick bay. - No, sir, I'm not ill. Honestly. Please, may I take him your answer, sir? I'll deliver it myself. - You asked to see me. - I didn't expect you to come. I want to thrash you and clap you in irons but that would suit you very well. - I fail to understand, sir. - Do you? I won't follow your previous captains onto the beach. Understood? - Now, what do you want? - Only to be restored to duty. - I am needed on the quarterdeck. - Why are you needed? There's a sea running. I've been listening to it. I know that I'm right. You always have to be right. So in case we have to reduce sail, may I return to the deck? It is my place. And my duty. Your first duty on leaving this cabin is to see all is well in the midshipmen's berth. - But surely Mr. Kilpatrick... - Will do as you tell him. I want the boy left alone. - He's taken more than enough. - You mean your son, sir? You know very well I do. I shall see to it for you, sir. - May I now be returned to duty? - You may. Scott-Padget! Why are we not under full sail? I judged it to be inadvisable, sir. - Carry on working. - What do you want? - You. - We need a lawyer. - I'm not one yet. - You've studied law. - You can read documents for us. - I might give advice... - We want help with our petition. - For redress of grievances? "Redress," that's the sort of word. And a lot of other words. - Men have been here for years. - Why don't they leave? Leave? Get caught and flogged like him? - I won't join a mutiny. - It's not a mutiny. - And you're gonna prove it. - You're taking the oath. What are they doing there? - What's this gathering? - Just making rope. With these louts lying on it? Move! Let's move it! Don't quit! Get moving! Watch out or next time you'll get it. I'm sorry. It's my fault. - Yours? - I pulled on the rope, tripped him. Don't have any more accidents, Vizard. Or I'll have a look at your backbone. Boatswain? What's the matter? Are you crazy? Vizard, I will join. Good lad. You'll be flogged for this. Sergeant! - Take him forward, put him under guard. - Jones. Another flogging. Pass the word: We do a full tryout tomorrow at eight bells. First Lieutenant said keep a sharp lookout to starboard. You men on gun three, jump to it! Station two marines in the after well deck at six bells. - Steer east-nor'east. - Aye, aye. - Mr. Scott-Padget. - Yes, sir. - Have you noticed anything? - Noticed what, sir? A number of small things. Like a man shouting without a sound. - I don't know what you mean, sir. - All right. He saw you do it. - Why did you? - That's the signal. Three cheers. - Next time, be careful. - When are we gonna do it? - The real thing? - You'll be told. We did what we said. We join the fleet in Corsica with something to show. A fully-pledged ship. Ready for action. Not a single bloody ship. Nothing in the harbor. Not a stick nor a spar. Looks like we're on our own, then. What happened to them? Where are they? They must have sailed. If there are no British ships, there will be French ones. We should go. - We will. - Back to Gibraltar as I suggested? - Bring her about, Mr. Scott-Padget. - Yes, sir. Boatswain, stand by to wear ship! Mr. Ponsonby I want you to send Crawford into the tops for two days. For punishment, sir? Do as I tell you. I wish to speak to the ship's company informally. Muster all hands, if you please. - All hands to the after well deck! - Come on! Jump to it! Are we heading back to Gibraltar? We'll stay on this course for the time being. Well, lads, I've got some explaining to do. We seemed to have lost the fleet. I want you to know the orders for the fleet and for us which are to escort a convoy of timber ships from the far side of Italy back to England. Timber to build ships of the line, and frigates. More like her. Defiant. We must go to the place of rendezvous and see if the convoy is there. If it isn't, well, we tried. If it is, we'll bring it back in the face of Frenchmen, Spaniards or anyone else who tries to stop us. - Back to your duties. - Carry on! Italy, Mr. Scott-Padget. - Hello, I brought biscuits. - Thank you. - How long's it been? - Day and a half. - Scott-Padget's going soft. - Wasn't him. It was Ponsonby. - Oh, why? - Pardoe, a ship! Deck, there! Sail-ho! Starboard beam. A frigate and a merchantman, both French, on the starboard beam! Beat to quarters! Mr. Scott-Padget, set all sails. Give her every stitch. I'll not have an officer carrying a rope's end. - All right there! Overhaul the gear! - Very good, sir. Set the gallants and flying jib! - One gun ready! - Two! - Three ready! - Four! - Five! - Cast loose! - Forward your guns! - Heave! - Ship ready and cleared for action! - Thank you. Lads, we'll fight her as if all England were watching! - Helm up! - Helm up, sir. - Let her fall off a little more. - Aye, aye, sir. Getting closer. Stand fast! Take the wounded away! Steady. Fire! Steer small. Aim for her masts! Fire! - Take over boarding party. - Aye, aye, sir. Board! Gun crews, stand by to board. Ponsonby. Board! Captain of Marines! Tell the captain of Marines to board! Marines, board! The ship's ours! Now for the merchantman! She's struck her colours! We'll take her as a prize! Everything's in order, sir. Both ships. Take him below, sergeant. - The English fleet's in the Atlantic. - I don't believe it. We may be the only English ship in the Mediterranean. - Do you insist on the rendezvous? - I insist on carrying out my orders which are to escort a convoy. - A French ship will be waiting. - I can see it now. - You've been proved right once before. Here, I feel you are wrong. There will be no French ship. Only the fear of one. - Sir! - Listen. They're celebrating already. - Sir. - And why not? There will be plenty of prize money for all hands with these two beauties. - Pay attention. - I've detailed the crews to sail them. The third lieutenant in charge of the frigate. Good luck, Mr. D'Arblay. - A pleasant voyage to Rochefort. - Thank you. - You must listen. - Kellahorn's leading the merchantman. I've given him a junior midshipman to assist him. Mr. Crawford. Mr. Crawford? - Take care of that ship. - Aye, aye, sir. Get her back safely. Pull away. Hoist away. I thought you wanted the boy onboard with you. I thought so too. I made a mistake. Now I've put it right. Faster! Keep moving! Faster! Jump to it, you lazy dogs! - Jump to it! - Mr. Scott-Padget! I got them to fight well yesterday. I'll have no officer carrying or using a rope's end. - I couldn't find Kilpatrick. - I'm suspending you. - For the rope? - For disobeying an order. I shall take steps that will astound you. - You have astounded me many times. - What was that? You need a hard lesson. You'll keep watch. Four hours on and four hours off, day and night. I'm a senior officer, not a midshipman. Not a midshipman. - I apologize... - Damn you, get below! - I only want to say... - Still you argue! Mr. Ponsonby. This officer will report every two hours, fully equipped to the officer of the watch, who'll report to me. Now get below! They've forgotten the petition already. In our business, Scott-Padget was our best friend. Carry on, Mr. Scott-Padget. Officer has reported with all equipment correct. Thank you. Small chance of a convoy still being here. - Any change in course? - Not yet. Sail ho! Deck, there! Large sail, two points forward of the larboard beam! - What is she? Can you tell? - She's a frigate, sir. Hear that, Mr. Scott-Padget? A single frigate. - Beat to quarters. - Aye, aye. Beat to quarters! They think it's a safe road. We'll run with her. Bring us to nor'- nor'west. Aye, aye, sir. Steer nor'- nor'west! - Number one ready! - Two! - Three ready! - Four! - Five! - All guns ready! Fighting lanterns ready. Gun ports closed. - She's Venetian. - Neutral, then? Unless Venice has been overrun by the French. No flag. No signal. Why not? She must see our colours. She must've heard us clear for action. Mr. Ponsonby, private night signal. Hoist the night signal. - No reply. - The gun ports are open, sir. We can't wait for her broadside. I'm just as suspicious as you, but we must be sure. We can't expose the ship like this. We must fire now! - All right. Run out your guns. - Aye, aye, sir. But hold your fire! Run out your guns! Heave! What ship are you? We are His Majesty's ship Defiant. What ship are you? Fire party to number five gun! Mr. Ponsonby! It's his arm. Get him below. Hudson, King! Get the captain below! The captain's been hit! Take your orders from me! Ready! Fire! Who's that out there? What's happening? Goss. - Has Defiant been taken? - Why, no, sir. Whose... Whose voices? Mr. Scott-Padget, the captain. Did Goss tell you? - I took the Venetians. - Did we lose many men? - A dozen or so. - And wounded: About threescore. Excuse me, I'm needed. Before she went down, we took a great deal off her. Crates full, en route to France. But there's a much bigger prize. Bring in the Frenchman! You wouldn't believe it but this figure is Colonel Giraud, a political advisor to Napoleon. All right, take him away. It's fortunate that Colonel Giraud omitted to destroy all his papers. He knows of plans for the invasion of England. - Does he know when? - Within the next few weeks, sir. He must be sent to London. Of course. After I make the necessary repairs, we shall make all speed. - You've done extremely well. - Thank you, sir. And, Mr. Scott-Padget this crew serves well, if you don't drive them too hard. I shall remember that, sir. "...change our vile body, that it may be like His according to the working whereby He can subdue all things to Himself." That ends the burial service for those killed in action. Turn forward and... Stand by, all hands. I haven't time for assembly, so this serves a second purpose. Stand by to witness punishment. All hands to witness punishment. Two dozen. - Just for looking at him. - Stow it! - Commence the punishment! - Start the roll! Keep low. She'll take off our masts. She'll lop them off! Keep down. Keep down. Goss, are you there? I'm... Boy, where's Mr. Goss? On deck, sir. For the flogging. Flogging? I authorized no flogging. Twenty-three! Twenty-four! Punishment completed, sir! Two dozen lashes! - Cut him down! - Aye, aye, sir. Enjoy yourself? You won't for long! I'll have your throat out, you bloody swine! - Another two dozen! - Aye, aye, sir. Another two dozen! - What's wrong with you, Evans? - It's got worm in it. I'll eat weevils and maggots, but not red worms! Good food thrown on the deck. You're spoiled. You know that's an offence. A flogging offence. You know that too, don't you? - He sent you. - What? Yes, sir. I know it. While we consider the best course of action pick it up! It's fit. Eat it. Eat it. That's an order. You'll swing for this, every man jack of you! He's right. We'll hang for striking an officer. We're all in it. We have to move fast. What shall we do? There is only one thing to do. Give the signal. - When, now? - As soon as we can. We'll go at eight bells, same as before. Now, Morrison, get up on deck and warn everyone you meet. Wagstaffe, go and tell Dawlish. You? Get up aloft. This time let's hear you cheer. - Who's on watch? - Ponsonby. Where's Scott-Padget? Where is he? All officers confined to their quarters, under guard by Marines. Listen to me. I'm warning you. You use that knife, and you're a dead man. All right, lads. No rushing on deck. And wait for the cheer. Now, take some more, sir. You'll stand better what I've got to do. Now, get ready. Now, grab him. Look lively! Put your backs into it! All right, you. Start on number four gun. Hip-hip-hooray! What's happening there? - Leave me alone. - Shut your mouth. Don't move, sir! - This means your death, Vizard. - Take him below. - Stand still! - Get out. All right. No one will come in here. Stay on the door. The Frenchman. What'd he say? It's about us being revolutionaries like him. The captain wants to see me about him now. Got the petition? Take care of him. We are revolutionaries, but they do things properly. The French with the guillotine! We've had this ship, and Scott-Padget's still alive! Wait. You can go now. Come in. You wish to see me, sir? - Mr. Crawford? - Sit down. Where are we heading? Oh, my committee aren't decided yet. Caribbean, South America... Anywhere but England. It's of England I wish to speak to you. Colonel Giraud has vital information about an intended invasion. - That's the truth. - Invasion? We got the landing places and the approximate date out of him. But he knows a great deal more. He must be handed over for questioning at once. Handed over? Who to? Admiral Jackson is in command of the squadron blockading Rochefort. Sail Defiant to Rochefort, is that what you're asking? Sail her up to the squadron, alongside English men-of-war? Yes, I am asking you to do that if you care for the safety of your country. If you don't wish to see her humiliated and overrun by Frenchmen. - Well, what will become of us? - How can I promise anything? Their lordships at the Admiralty do not encourage mutiny. - It was never intended this way. - What way, then? A petition? I see. Bit late for petitions now. All right, we'll sail to Rochefort. - Lf we do, will you stand by us? - I'll do my best for you. All of you. I'll submit all the facts in your favour. But I warn you if any harm comes to a single officer... A single officer. I understand. Very sorry you lost the arm, sir. He's promised to speak for us when the time comes. Can we trust him? What, trust an officer? - To hell with England! - I've got a family back home! I don't want Frenchmen tramping through my house. Sergeant, watch him. All our lives depend on this. For the present, we're agreed. We head for Rochefort and the blockade squadron. Sails on starboard bow! That's the squadron. Deck, there! Flagship on the starboard bow! - Strike topsail! - Lively, there! Stand by to drop anchor! Wagstaffe? Get your signals party ready. Wait here. You're mad! You're all out of your minds! - Dealing with an admiral? - Jackson's an honest man. He'll listen to us. He'll agree until we surrender. - Then he'll hang us. - He won't. I served under him in '89... You'll see. Mr. Crawford. Vizard? - Which of us goes to the flagship? - None of us. Why risk being clapped in irons? I'll make them come to us. Let go of the anchor! Boat ahoy! - Flagship! - Both your oars, up! Sergeant. Take charge of the starboard gangway. - Keep the prisoner below. - Flagship's jolly boat alongside! - Take me to the captain! - This way, sir. He came with the prize-ships, and stayed with the admiral. - I've brought an urgent dispatch. - Give that to me. It's happened! They've done it at Spithead! The fleet mutinied! - The Admiralty agreed to this? - Every item, sir. All you asked for. Look. Full pardon for all those involved has been signed by His Majesty the king. - This changes things, don't it? - It changes everything. Well, lads, you heard the news! What happens to us? I'll go to the admiral, and I'm sure I can promise you everything you wish. So long as I leave an orderly ship behind me. I want all officers set free immediately! Bring them on deck! You can't let them go! You're throwing it all away! Jenkins, release the midshipmen! - Release the officers. - Release the officers. Please come on deck, sir. - What happened? - Mutiny's over. Made right. - Made right? - Orders from the fleet. Take your hands off me. You mutinous filth! Don't think you can soon be forgiven. - It's not easy. - Mr. Scott-Padget. I would advise you to say no more. You're compounding the offence! You're in it with them! Your friends will be dealt with. When their lordships hear what I have to say, you're done. You're under arrest. You've done for us all. What's it matter? You all wanted him dead. You're as bad as him. And between you, you've finished all of us. Give me a knife! Get back! We had everything, and he took it from us! - Let's go. - While the fog's thick. They're right, Vizard. I want no sound. We're gonna weigh anchor and make sail. - Weigh anchor. - Quiet now. Anchor aweigh! Set the courses! Course west-sou'west. - Course west-sou'west. - West-sou'west! - Lookout! - Sail on the starboard quarter! Sail? Where? I see only ships in anchor. Deck, there! Sail is an enemy frigate! And another! The French are out! The French! Weigh anchor, beat to quarters. The French are on the move. Make to all ships. Prepare to engage. - They used the fog too. - They're heading for our squadron. Look. That red glow. A fire ship, set on course in the breeze. - She'll take the flagship! - They can't move in time. - Nor the others. - They're going to burn! Vizard, I'm striking no bargains, and making no promises. This ship is in your hands. There's nothing to stop you from running, but the enemy is there. - All hands muster aft! - Lively, there! Sir. Well, lads, you see what's happening. The French are out of Rochefort, and we're the only English at sea. We must let the flagship weigh anchor. We are going for that fire ship. Beat your drums to quarters. - Ponsonby, aim for the fire ship. - Yes, sir. Come on, every man of you! My God, sir. Look there. Bring starboard guns to bear. Hit her with all you've got. Steady. - Fire. - Fire! Get the wounded away! - Open fire! - Fire! Get this fire out of midship! Fire party! Fire! We'll go under the bows of the fire ship. Wait! Hold your fire! Hold your fire! - Ease your helm. - Aye, aye, sir. Steady. Steady she goes, sir. - Hard to starboard. - Hard to starboard, sir. Stand by with grappling iron. Now! We've got her! She's coming around! They've done it! Let go of grappling irons. All larboard guns to bear on the fire ship. Fire! The flagship's under way and into the fight. The French are running back into port! Look there, sir! - They're a good crew, sir. - Signal from the flagship, sir. Thank you, Defiant, for swift and honorable action. "Thank you for swift and honorable action." No mutineers onboard this ship now, sir. Bring her about, Mr. Ponsonby. - We join the squadron. - Aye, aye, sir. Stand by to go about! Thank you, Mr. Crawford. Subtitles by SDI Media Group [theme music playing] And so I hope you'll find these estimate satisfactory. I personally had them prepared by our very ablest man, Mister, uh, well, whoever it was. And as my late boss, good old Jess Devro, used to say, "When you're sending in the A team with all the horses behind you..." Well, you know the sort of thing he used to say, Lita. Why do you supposed I wanted you to take this instead of just a secretary? Oh, who's trotting the estimates over to Phoenix? They ought to be there before the weekend. Clem Sandover, I believe. - Who? - In accounting. You know, that Mr. Sandover whose dumpy little wife used to be Mr. Devro's boss lady. - In accounting? - He's been with us almost 20 years. Mr. Sellers says he's the only man in the company who's never had an expense-account trip. All right, all right. You're the #1 spark plug now, so spin the wheels, roll 'em down the runway. Your necktie is crooked, Mr. Banks. [door opens, closes] Sandover? Sandover! Sandy? Sandy? White paper, three reams; yellow, two; ledger books, seven. Now let's see. I have one full box of black pencils, four red, one, two, three extra pen fillers, seven air-mail stamps, and a full roll of 4¢. Sandy, old boy, what in the name of-- Level of my sherry is precisely at the top of the letter S. Sandover, why the devil don't you answer? Shh, Mr. Sellers, we're busy counting paperclips. And let me warn you-- if a single one is missing when my desk buddy returns-- All right, never mind. Here, Sandy, you won't need this. I'm having a briefcase loaded with all the estimates. Yes, I expected that, sir. I'm taking along some work of my own, that's all. Oh. Well, if you're a little overweight on the plane... I plan to travel by rail, sir. Well, there's still a letter from Mr. Banks with your instructions being typed. - I'll tell Lita to-- - Yes, sir. I've already made arrangements to pick it up from Miss Krail. Mr. Sellers, you don't think my old roomie would overlook anything, do you? You don't think he'd fail to pack in an extra timetable or make a note of how many erasers he's leaving in the second drawer? Enos, shut up. Sandover, we want you to have some fun on this trip. Forget the work. You find yourself the fanciest hotel suite and the thickest T-bone steaks in town, all on us, mind you-- all on us. And when they turn on those bright lights, you just tell the nearest bartender-- I- - I rather thought I'd stay at the YMCA, sir. [laughs] Well, good luck, Sandy. Don't you worry, Mr. Sellers, I'll be back at my desk at 9:00 Monday morning. Thank you. [recording] White paper, three reams,: yellow, two,: ledger books, seven. Now let's see. I have one full box of black pencils, four red, one, two, three extra pen fillers, seven air-mail stamps, and a full roll of 4¢. [recording continues] "The level of my sherry," he said-- Listen to this. It's true. "The level of my sherry is precisely at the top of the letter S." - [women groaning] - So help me! [all laughing] Haven't you girls any work to do? I know you haven't, Mr. Watterton. It's a man's world, Miss Krail. I do not take orders from lady straw bosses. Hey hey. Was that Miss Krail? Is she back in her office? Pining for you. Pining for you! - Miss Krail? - Yes. Everything's here all ready for you, Mr. Sandover. - These are the letters for you to carry. - Thank you. - Lita? - Yes? I'm all packed, all ready to go. All right. Goodbye. Well, I- - I just wanted to make sure that you hadn't changed your plans. About what? Oh, well, Sandy, there's so many things that I ought to be doing this weekend. But you fly down there quite often, you said. And you said you might even leave early tomorrow to be in Phoenix around noon. And what if I do, Sandy? Do you have something to tell me you don't want anybody to know you're telling me? Well, yes, as a matter of fact I do. I- - I have several more tidbits about people in the office. - But that's not what I meant. - It's not? You promised you'd be there. Lita, remember the money I mentioned I was coming into? Well, you're the only one who can advise me. I may want to live differently now-- quite differently. I'm even stopping off on the way to the train to buy a new sport jacket. [chuckles] Mr. Sandover, your wife is here. My wife? What in heaven's name? She said she stopped by because you didn't pack your sweater. All right, all right. Thank you. I told her she could put the sweater in one of your bags. I showed her where the luggage was in the office. I said all right. Thank-- Beth, here, give me that. Of all the things I don't need on the desert. I didn't mean to disturb you. But I suppose I didn't kiss you goodbye this morning. All right. There. Now run along, dear, for heaven's sakes. Sandy, I ran into Frank Sellers in the hall downstairs. He said he was surprised to hear I hadn't wanted to go to Phoenix with you. He said the company would gladly have paid-- Beth, how you could have worked here all of these years and still be so stupid and gullible-- Sandy, you're upset about something. You know you are. You didn't eat your breakfast this morning and last night you talked in your sleep again about waterskiing, of all things. Please leave me alone. Go home. Sandy, of course I'll be in Phoenix tomorrow. I've already made my reservations. [whistle blowing] 75 $100 bills, one, two, 3,000 more, plus the $10,000 and the $5,000 makes $201,000 exactly. The perfect embezzlement. [chuckling] You may say that Rome wasn't built in a day, but neither was Fort Knox; neither was the treasure of the Incas. The undiscoverable acquisition of $201,000, bill by bill, month after month, year after year, is a financial feat worthy of Clem P. Sandover-- C.P. Sandover. C.P.S. Yes indeed, if Croesus, Kreuger, Rockefeller could afford to brag a little, well, in due time, why not the perfect embezzler? I only make these notes because someday people may recognize the... 43, 44... $45,000. What the-- how in the name-- [train whistle blowing] Oh. [brakes clanking] - [exhales] - [phone ringing] Hello? Who? Who? Oh, Mr. Sandover. Listen- - Sally, listen to me. You handle receipts-- incoming receipts. I thought you were on a train somewhere. Look, I got home late and I do have a date tonight, so-- Sally, did we get any money today? Was any cash received in the office? Cash? Just the one loan deposit. That wad? I mean, how much? How much was it? $45,000, but you already know about that. I already know? Look, Mr. Sandover, I really didn't pay any attention to it after I saw your initials on it and your forwarding slip when you sent it on to the bank. Let me try to remember. There may have been some other smaller-- Mr. Sandover? Get the bags. Beth, it's me. Don't get all excited now. I just missed my train, that's all. But I have something to attend to this evening. I'm taking the car. Missed the train? But that was hours ago, Sandy. For heaven's sake, what happened? I'll explain later, dear. I'll fly down to Phoenix in the morning instead. - But Sandy-- - Look, there's nothing to be alarmed about. I thought you were going out to dinner with Dorothea this evening. Well, yes, but later, so I really wanted to use the car myself, but... Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. - Sandy, this is Perry Mason. - Oh. I've always wanted to meet you, Mr. Sandover. Your wife and I are very old friends. Yes, of course. She's always talking about people she used to know when Mr. Devro was alive. Sandy, Perry was nice enough to come by on his way home from work to give me some professional advice. Oh, all right, Beth, if you're thinking of a divorce, that's no reason to call in such an expensive lawyer. - Sandy! - I never handle divorces. No, I only stopped by to-- We were discussing something quite different. All right, never mind. Oh, put them right over there. Has anyone else been here this evening? Anyone called? Just Enos Watterton. He wanted to make sure you got away all right. - I didn't know then you'd missed the train. - Enos Watterton? - Oh. - Sandy- - Sandy, if you won't tell me, will you please tell Perry what's been upsetting you so lately? I mean, that's part of the reason I wanted to talk to him. Oh, for heaven's sakes, Beth, I don't care what you do. - Sandy! - Driver, wait. Taxi, taxi! [jazz playing] Sellers, Sellers. [phone ringing] Yes? Who? Oh, Sandy-- Ha! Well, I guess we all miss a train once in a while. I'll catch the first plane in the morning, sir. The only reason I bothered you was to double check to make sure that I have all the papers they'll need in Phoenix. What? I mean in the briefcase, sir. I had the impression that you put everything in there yourself and-- Well, as a matter of fact, I didn't actually. But I'm sure you've got it all. Then who did, sir? Who else touched the briefcase? Sandy, for gosh sakes, if you'd stop worrying about things that aren't important, you wouldn't overlook the things that are. Yes, sir. I didn't mean to make you angry, sir. You've already wrecked my evening with that deposit money you forgot. There was a message waiting for me when I got home. You should have sent that money to the bank the minute it came in. You know our insurance doesn't cover leaving a wad like $45,000 around the office all night. But about that $45,000, sir-- I know you're sorry. Well, skip it. The bank's sending an armored truck to meet me downtown. They'll take the money off our hands. Oh, what are you doing, sir? I'm on my way down to the office to turn the money over to them. Now goodbye, Sandover. Go to Phoenix. [door opens] [panting] [sighs] [footsteps approach] Okay, boys, that's it. Be right with you. Hello, I was given this number to reach Miss Krail tonight. Oh, Lita, is that you? Lita, I tried to reach you before to tell you I got your message about double checking that cash that came in today. No no no, you don't need to do anything about it. I'll handle it. Just wanted to say thanks for calling it to my attention. That's all. Good night. Lita. [sighs] [elevator humming] [sobbing] Lita. [Sandover's voice] The perfect embezzlement. It may be said that Rome was not built in a day. Well, neither was Fort Knox; neither was the treasure of the Incas. The undiscoverable acquisition of $201,000, bill by bill, month after month, year after year, is a financial feat worthy of Clem P. Sandover... [jazz playing] [clock ticking] - Having trouble? - Oh no. I do this for exercise. It helps my strawberries get ripe. Anybody home over there? I haven't the faintest idea. Why? Oh, I'm looking for real estate. Well, you can have any of mine, this truck included. You know this is the second time in three weeks that I've missed the early market? You know how long I've been asleep in that cab waiting for it to be light enough to fix this thing? [jazz playing] [song repeating] [engine revving] Lita Krail murdered? She-- she can't be. She just can't be. Beth, why are you so frightened? Last night you told me that you didn't like her, that you didn't trust her. It's just that I can't believe it. I'd like to talk to your husband. He's-- he's gone out already. I- - I don't know where. Beth, last night I came over here because you were upset about receiving a letter and a couple of phone calls. You thought it was a man on the phone. The letter was typed and it was unsigned. But in plain nasty language, they all said the same thing: "Stop trying to bleed me or else." I- - I shouldn't have called you. I was scared. - But it wasn't that important. - Yes it was. Obviously someone thinks you're a blackmailer. Now you did remember that the man used the word "office." And until last year, your whole life has been tied up in your job with Devro Banks. Since then Lita Krail has had that job. Well, this morning I sent Paul Drake out to talk with Lita before she went to work. But now, you see, Lita's dead and so everything's different. - [Beth] Thank you. - [lighter flicks] Why did you leave your job? Was it because Jess Devro died? Yes. I mean no. You see, Sandy'd been after me ever since we were married two years ago. He couldn't stand it that I had a more important position in the firm than he did. Did he ask you to give up all your old friends? You know, your marriage kind of came as a surprise. I know that Jess was surprised. He always thought-- well, frankly, he thought that you cared for someone else. Perry, stop it. If I'm unhappy, or even if you think I've made mistakes, it's still my business, isn't it? I'm responsible, so please just leave me alone. Beth, a murder has been committed. Now you do need help. Why, you're scared to death thinking that your husband is in some way mixed up with Lita Krail or even-- I don't know anything about it! So please just get out, Perry. We-- we don't need you. Please just get out. [door opens, closes] Any luck yet on the guy with the strawberries? No, not so far. I'm checking out the license number - and my men are checking the markets. - What about the necktie? Well, there was a cleaning tab on the label and we're running it down as fast as we can. I gave my men a head start before I reported what I had to the police. All right, Paul. I want one of your men to watch that house. - Don't leave till he gets here. - All right. Oh, you heard about the Lita Krail thing. Shocking, isn't it? Very shocking. Such a pretty creature. How did you hear about it, Mr. Banks? Oh, the police just called a few moments ago. Routine-- check the employer. That sort of thing. I wasn't in town when Jess Devro died last year, Mr. Banks. I still miss him. Best friend, you know? Very best. It happened here in the office, didn't it? He was alone, working late. As I recall the newspaper story, one of the cleaning women said that she heard him talking to someone about an hour before he died. She said his voice sounded very angry. I'd quite forgotten. Mason, what does this have to do with Lita Krail? The stroke may have been the result of a fight with someone. Mason, you've got the wrong foot in the mouth entirely. Oh, sure, Lita Krail may have been #1 girl in the big firm, but-- Did Lita earn just her salary here or do you think she had another source of income? I don't follow. Well, for keeping quiet or arranging deals here and there. Beth Sandover tells me that the job was a regular funnel of gossip and influence, - if a woman so wanted to use it. - And so she did, your friend Beth. Lita's told me what a big snoop she was. It's her husband who was the snoop- - Sandy. Of all the creepy calculating guys I've had to stand-- Now now now now, Frank, sticks and stones. Oh, Mason, you know Sellers? How do you do? Frank Sellers? Jess Devro told me that you were the one who would probably run the company when he stepped down. You mean Devro Sellers instead of Devro Banks? Now Mason, you've been shooting apples off my head ever since you came in. I'm curious as to who's being blackmailed around here and by whom, that's all. - Blackmail? What kind of a-- - All right, all right, Sellers. It's a stormy morning-- police, murder and all that. - [phone ringing] - We can't blame Mr. Mason if he doesn't recognize a big happy family when he sees one. Excuse me, sir. I'm sorry. I have a call outside for Mr. Mason. Thank you. - Gentlemen. - Anytime. No offense. All part of the game. Hello? Yes, Paul? Who? Is there an Enos Watterton working for the company? He phoned to say he had a headache this morning. He's probably at home, Paul. Why? That necktie that Lita Krail was holding in her hand belongs to Enos Watterton. I don't know how she got my necktie. Look, can't you understand? When a guy drinks a little-- But you admit she was over here last night and you took her home a little before 11:00? I didn't even get into her house. - She-- she had something else to do. - Like what? I don't know. A couple of hours earlier, she asked me to call Sandy Sandover's wife just to make sure that Sandy had left for Phoenix. Then later she got a call from Mr. Sellers about something. Why did she want to know that Sandover had left town? Search me. Although she did say she thought it was about time she fixed Sandy's wagon. All right, Paul, you'd better take Mr. Watterton down to headquarters. They'll want him as a material witness. How can I explain it? Look, fellas, you gotta believe me. I was wearing a brown tie last night, not a red one. This was a red one with a little figure on it. I don't own such a-- Wait a minute. - Was the figure sort of gray? - That's right. I think that's one of the ones I left at the office. Sure, that's it. You know, in case-- in case I lined up something kind of special. At the office, where anyone might have taken it? Yeah. I mean no. A couple of months ago, Sandy spilled some soup and-- that's it. That's the tie I loaned to Sandy. Beth, I have to see him. Everything points in one direction. Now if you want me to help your husband before the police get here-- Perry, I don't know what I want-- just time to think, please. Beth, stop that sniveling. You don't have to pretend to be loyal. Mr. Sandover, you went out to Lita Krail's cottage last night, didn't you? She lied to me. She was up to something; trying to get you into trouble. She said she'd meet me in Phoenix. She lied to me. I bought a new sport coat. I told her things-- things I never told anyone. You thought she cared for you. What did she do, laugh at you? I didn't give her the chance. She was asleep on the couch with the door open. I couldn't stop myself, Beth. She'd lied to me. I picked up an ashtray. I hit her. I couldn't help it. I hit her and hit her and hit her. That's very interesting. It explains a lot. - You're trespassing, Lieutenant. - Take it easy, Perry. I have a warrant here. Mr. Sandover, you understand that anything you've said to me that might have been overheard by Lieutenant Tragg-- What difference does it make? I killed her. I have to tell, Mr. Mason. I killed her, yes. And then I put a necktie in her hand. She was always playing with neckties. It was Enos's necktie. Thank you, Mr. Sandover. But suppose you tell us all this down at headquarters, eh? Now look here, Tragg-- It's too bad you didn't check sooner with us, Perry. You see, when this guy struck her, Lita Krail had probably been dead for over a half an hour. The doctor found the bullet in her heart. [Tragg] My warrant is for Mrs. Sandover... for murder. Well, that's-- that's it, Perry. I did go out there, but I was with Lita only 20 minutes or so. It was sometime after 11:00. When did she call you? Oh, it was a couple of hours after you left the house that night. She said there was something very urgent that we should discuss privately. And since it takes only a few minutes to get out to her house, I-- Did she tell you that she'd also received threatening phone calls? I didn't believe her then and I still don't. All right. But it wasn't just the blackmailing thing she wanted to talk about, was it? No. She said Sandy was going to be in trouble over some money. She didn't know what Frank Sellers was going to do about it, but it might be serious trouble. And only she could get Sandy out of it if he'd quit his job and we'd both move out of town. In other words, practically admit that we-- or I had been up to something. What more proof did I need that she was the one? And you told her so. And that's when Lita brought out her gun? No, she lost her temper. She tried to threaten me with some silly little thing she kept in her bureau. That silly little thing was the gun that killed her. And Beth, your fingerprints are all over it. Oh, Perry, I grew up with too many brothers. I told Lita she ought to be spanked or worse. I simply took the gun away from her, threw it down on the desk and walked out. Well, I wish you'd told me all that the next day. How could I? I drove home that night. The lights were on. So I went for a walk. I stopped at Dorothea's and we talked a while. And at 1:00 I went home. I thought Sandy was asleep. Then I heard the car come in. What else could I think the next morning but that he'd taken the car out after I had; that he'd been out to Lita's and he'd killed her. Maybe Sandy had provocation for what he did to Lita. The police have check out his story, you know. He was seen drinking in a Hollywood bar just before-- Well, it's not specifically against the law to try to kill someone who's already dead. Perry, you're making excuses for Sandy. Why? To find out why you've made so many. Not ever again. Oh, Perry, I do need my old friends back. [sobbing] [Hamilton Burger] And what did the defendant then say to you when you told her that her husband was busy in the office of the deceased, Lita Krail? Well, she said, "That little alley cat," and-- and then another word that I really didn't listen to. I mean, everybody already knew how much they hated each other ever since Lita was given Beth's job. - [Mason] Objection. - Sustained. Now Miss Adams, let's skip to later that day, shall we? To that night, as a matter of fact. Did you have occasion to contact the deceased then? Yes I did. You see, I got this crazy call from Sand-- Mr. Sandover-- about money deposits and money in the office. Well, I got home from my date and I figured I'd better call Lita and tell her about Sandy's call. - So you actually phoned Lita's house? - At 11:15. Then she said she was too busy to talk. And then I heard another voice-- hers, the defendant's-- saying, "Hang up that phone." Then Lita says, "I'm giving the orders around here, dear." And, "Oh, no you're not," says Beth. And there's a real loud scuffle noise and bam goes the receiver right in my ear. [Burger] That will be all, Miss Adams. - Counselor? - No questions, Your Honor. You may step down, Miss Adams. [Burger] I call Mr. Cyrus Potkin to the stand. Oh. I- - I'm sorry. [Bailiff] Just one moment, please. Will you raise your right hand? Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth? And what was all that about? Perry wanted me to see if what the girl was wearing was really mink. - It is. - Typist in accounting, huh? - Mm-hmm. - We'll check her out too. - Right. - Goodbye, beautiful. Oh, miss, tell Mr. Mason if there's anything my wife needs- you understand. - No, I'm afraid I don't. Well, there must be a bill at least. Tell him whatever is necessary to help-- anything-- I'll be glad to manage somehow. - All-- - I have a little money saved. All right, Mr. Potkin, you've positively identified the Sandover car. You say it came from the cottage and went past you as you were working on your truck in the dark. Nearly ran me down, you mean. Of course I was parked on the only road out. Yeah. You heard the written confession of the defendant's husband introduced earlier by the prosecution in order to clarify their case. You heard Mr. Sandover's statement that he drove that same car - out to that same cottage. - Yes, you bet. I also heard he was only there for a few minutes. Look, mister, after my truck broke down, I worked a solid half hour banging my knuckles in the dark and there was no car going and coming; just the one car leaving-- that's all. After that I climbed into the cab and took a snooze. It is your contention then that Mr. Sandover's brief visit occurred after you went to sleep. But, Mr. Potkin, how do you know the length of time you had been working on your truck if you didn't have a watch? I just know, that's all. After all, you crawl under a truck three or four times, the jack breaks-- What time did you arrive? Well, I was headed for the 1:00 AM market, so I figure I stopped-- You don't actually know then whether you arrived at 11:30, at 12:00 or even 12:30. Well, of course I know. The way I figure it-- If you saw a house that close, why didn't you phone for a tow truck? What, spend $10 to save $5? Now look here-- Now you don't actually know if you arrived at 11:30, at 12:00 or at 12:30. Now is that not correct? [sighs] Okay, mister. That much I'll give you. Beth Sandover requested her release from the company, oh, about a year ago for personal problems. It all seemed quite proper at the time. At the time? Did something occur later which threw a different light on it? It did. Lita-- the deceased, that is-- had made a number of remarks regarding certain discrepancies she'd found on taking over her job. Well, women and business, you know? I paid little attention. Until just the day before her death, Lita handed me an itemized list of certain kickbacks, little deals involving promotions-- Ethel? Is that you, Ethel? I wondered what happened to you last night. Can't talk. Due in the lists in 10 minutes. I'm coming, Mother. Watch where you're getting the blood! Christ! - How else can we choose a champion? - We could call an election. Election? Oh, no. Nonsense. It wouldn't be fair to the knights. - They could draw lots. - Draw lots? Bless my soul. You might as well do it dip, dip, dip, my little ship or one potato, two potatoes. Or even hide and seek. 48, 49, 50! Coming! The cardinal said, "I asked for 13 vergers. Why have you brought me 13 virgins?" Now, we're in the garden and a thousand voices said as one man: "Ave, ave, passed through this way." Ave, ave, what? - Why do I need to say ave? - Just sit back and let something nice happen to you for a change. Looks like they've chosen a champion. Can you see who it is? It's my boss. Christ. Well, congratulations, sire. We have a champion. Good. Where is he? They haven't found him yet. - Is that good? - Yes. That's what makes him a champion. I see. They will find him, won't they? - You must be very proud. - Proud, you shit? Shit! - Isn't that a great honour? - Maybe he'll get the honour. I'll get a dragon's tooth up my bum and a shilling-a-year pension. I'll have to sit vigil with him all night as well. Christ, what luck! I promised my body to a woman tonight. Maybe I could go and tell the lady that... Wait a minute. Maybe you could do it. Certainly I could. I'll tell the lady... - No, no, not that. Sit the vigil. - Me? I could give you my hat, my cape. Just keep your head down. He'll never know. - I can't do that. It's not right. - Who'll know? Come on! - A beast! - Here I am. Oh, not you! Forget it. - Squire? What squire? - You know what squire. Oh, my rheumatism. That cell was so damp. Two whole nights. Oh, you poor dear. Come, let me undress you and put you to bed. It must have been an awful experience. It was. Oh, Betty. Your hands are so soft and warm. You don't really think there was a squire up here in our bed, do you? - Well... - Do you? Come, let me take those off. And that. Doesn't that feel better? Bernard, my darling. Come. Citizens nobles gentry! The king. Me? Oh, yes. Good Sir Knight, you have proved your worth on the field of honour. And now you must prove yourself in mortal combat with a monster so terrifying, so awe-inspiring, so horrible so soul-destroying that even I would hesitate to meet it face to face in hand-to-hand combat. Was that all right? Well, I suppose so, my darling. And so, go forth and slay the beast. And take with you the royal blessings and also the blessings of Mother Church. Bishop! - Get out of here! - Bloody sods! - Is that all? - That's it. Right. Herald? Have the gates opened. Well, carry on! Open the gates! Fare well. Wait! He took his vorpal sword in hand Long time the manxome foe he sought So rested he by the Tumtum tree And stood awhile in thought And as in uffish thought he stood The Jabberwock, with eyes aflame Came whiffling through the tulgey wood And burbled as it came Lance. Lance, lance. Come on. Come on. Griselda. Go get them, boys! Monster? Monster? Where monster? There he is! Don't let him get away. Monster? Monster? I am here, Griselda. Fear not. Gee, a knight! I never saw a knight before. Oh, Mr. Fishfinger! Oh, stop dribbling, woman. Oh, bless you. O noble lad. Oh, thank you. Stand aside, Mrs. Fishfinger. Sorry. Are you all right? You almost cut my arm off! You always were a clumsy one, Dennis Cooper. Shame on you! Get out! Jesus! I could get blood poisoning. Was that sword sterilized? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'll bind it up. I'll get bandages. Jesus. Get off! Dad! - What? - Look. Good Sir Knight. Good Sir Knight. We're so grateful to you for rescuing us from those foul fiends. Upsy-daisy. Very gracious of you, Sir Knight. We're very undeserving, really. We're just humble fisher folk. However, we do have this maiden daughter. As there is this custom the knight quite often marries the maiden he's rescued. Say hello to the knight, Griselda honey. It was me that rescued you. Will you clear off? What do you say, Sir Knight? Good Sir Knight. - Well? - Hark. Be gone. - Wait! - Come back here! Sir Knight, come back, please! Griselda. Mr. Fishfinger. I've got to go. Sorry about your hand. It hurts! I've missed you. I've kept your potato. Bye! You really are a big disappointment to me. I thought you were gonna make something of yourself. He is the king's champion! Call yourself an eligible suitor for our fair Griselda? You're a vagrant! Hold him, Madge. Hold him! You leave her alone. Leave her alone. Go on! Someone at the door, dear. - We must make up our minds. - Gentlemen! - We can't delay. - Let's do something. This king's champion must be stopped. The monster must be protected. If he kills the monster, we'll all be ruined. Let me prevail upon you. No more argy-bargy is necessary because I have a plan. Behold! The Black Knight. Wonderful! We must be getting closer. Grease. Grease. Now that. Get him. And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy - Oh, frabjous day! - The monster's dead! The monster's dead! Stop! No one's to enter the city unless they have money. Stop, I say! Oh, my God! Cancel those shipments of wine, grain, straw! Cancel everything! - Dennis, here she is. Griselda! - Here I am. It's me! Dennis, it was always you! You's the one we was pushing for. We'll have the wedding tomorrow. This afternoon. We'll get the bishop. Dennis, you're wonderful. Griselda, at last we can have the life we always wanted. My boy, congratulations. We offer you our heartfelt thanks. You have cleared the kingdom of a great menace. I am happy to fulfill my promise and to bestow upon you... - What's his name? - It's Dennis. Dennis Cooper, Your Royalshipness. That's his fiancée, my daughter. You, Dennis one half of my entire kingdom. And the hand in marriage of my daughter, the princess. Come, my boy. To the palace! Griselda! I pronounce you man and wife. Prince and princess! Dennis! Griselda! Whose idea was it to run him off without a wedding? Shut up! Look out, sire! Subtitles by SDI Media Group - Hey, Ponch. Wake up. - Why? What are you doing? Clocking a sparrow? She's beautiful. Tall, tan, legs up to here. You better keep your eyes on the car in front of you. She wears these short shorts and little flip-flops. And she's even got sexy feet. Feet? - How long you known her? - She just moved into the trailer park. I haven't met her yet. Did you see what almost happened to me? It was only almost, Ponch. I'm gonna give that bozo a piece of my mind. And maybe more. What's wrong, officer? I was only going 45. Maybe 50. Okay. It's possible that I was going over a little more, but it's... - But... - Hey, mister. - When you're on the freeway, you... - Hey, Ponch, the traffic, okay? Can I see your driver's license, please? But I don't understand how that happened. I just... - You lose something? - A few hundred pounds of baby food. - Now are you gonna help or what? - Sure. Okay. No problem. Call Caltrans. Tell them to get a unit to clear this up. And will you take over here? We're supposed to be at central for a court call. All right. Okay. When you get reloaded, just make sure that latch is secure, okay? Yeah. I'll sit on it if I have to. I'm sorry. I could have sworn I locked her up. - There you go. - Thank you. We're late. Getraer gets nervous when I'm not on time. Oh, yeah? Well, what's he gonna do? I mean, you're already on probation. Yeah. If he had his way, he'd put my whole family on probation. Honey, look. It's gotta be worth at least 40 bucks. Chippies. You folks need any help? We're fine. Just a little trouble with a tire. For your own safety, you shouldn't be on the shoulder any longer than necessary. We're leaving now, officer Thank you. We're clear. It started. Briefing's started. We're not going out today. We don't have to go to briefing. I know, but nervous is nervous, and when he doesn't see me... - ... he starts to think I'm in trouble. - That's just his overactive imagination. I have a feeling he's gonna see you soon enough. So the records of gasoline consumption and mileage have not been accurate. Therefore the logs are gonna have to be adjusted. The following officers will report to the clerk immediately following briefing. Patterson. Wilson. Sylvia. Johnson, T.J. Poncherello! Get away from the door. I said get away. Excuse me. Sorry, sarge, I couldn't hear you. We couldn't hear him, right? - No, actually, we're looking at these... - Baker. That's aiding and abetting. I don't want to see that face. Come on, we're not even on duty. You're gonna get in trouble. No. - Oh, give me some room. - No, Ponch. Don't do it. She's my project for the month, remember? How about Miss Trailer Park? Legs up to here? Remember? A bird in the hand, my boy, a bird in the hand. Good morning, my lovely. Not now, Ponch. Sarge needs these reports. Saturday night they got a great double bill at the drive-in. Some of us stopped going to drive-ins when we graduated from high school. - Accurately you calculate your gas... This is a drive-in movie and a picnic, all in one date. - It's really far-out. - Poncherello. Think it over, I make a terrific potato salad. Ponch. We did good today, babe. Yeah, let's celebrate. Let's get back to the campground. Far out. Today has got to be our day. Hey, come on, let's go. It's almost time. Yeah. For what? Lunch? No. The Troubled World. Come on. Hey, Ponch. This weekend, are you gonna work dark? No, Clark, I need the extra money. And now, the continuing story of the people we know. Neighbors of yours and mine. The people living in The Troubled World. Oh, you gotta be kidding me. You mean to tell me you watch this stuff? Cari just told Bob she's leaving for Brazil with Susan and Jamie. I'll read it when the book comes out. Cari, don't tell me lies. I don't wanna hear more lies. Prove your love by staying with me. But you know I love you. I left George for you. But not until I left Carla. Cari, sometimes I doubt your words, doubt our future. Sometimes I'm sure we have nothing together. Bob, don't say that. I can't bear it. I won't hear it. Then prove your love, stay with me forever. I will, my dear, after we return. No, Cari, it's if you return. You know me better than that. You know I never lied to you. Haven't you, Cari? Haven't you really? Oh, Cari, I love you, I need you. I want you here. Now. I can't, sweetheart, we've got a plane to catch. Oh, every time we're close, I feel something good is about to happen. You've got to be... You said you didn't want to see my face or hear my voice. I can't think in there. Well, it wasn't my voice. I thought you'd keep him in check. I thought I could depend on you. - Well, Cari told Bob... - That she's going to Brazil... Please. Jon, please. I'm two cases short. What? You gotta be kidding. You know that baby food was on the way to the lab. It was contaminated with botulism. I know. I probably lost them when I got this. I gotta make a phone call. Four were crouched behind their car. It was just me and my bike against four men, two. 45s and two sawed-offs. I pulled my gun, grabbed my mike and called for backup. Then they opened fire. I was hit by a bullet. Oh, I hurt real bad. I went down. I got up and I got hit on this side... Oh, you girls... I was speaking very low. Baker. Both of you, out! - But we're waiting for a call, sarge... - Look. Stand by at home. I will phone you when the call comes in. Good. We'll both be at my place. I don't care where you are, as long as you're not here. Got it? - Right. - Good. Good. Hey, why your place? I want you to see Melinda. - Melinda? - Yup. Oh, yeah, the one with the sexy feet. Right. And you'll get a free introductory lesson to the Poncherello School of Cool. Hello, Henry. That's a boy, that's a boy. Feel better? What do you think I should use? Do I give her my Redford approach? Or maybe I'll be more continental, like Rex Harrison. I just want to see her feet. Well, maybe I'll try my Stallone. Hey, hey, come here. Hey! Hey, Ponch. Oh, mister, don't open that hood. Don't open that hood, whatever you do. Don't open that hood! - L.A. 15-7 Mary 3... - Easy, take some deep breaths. Deep breaths. Gulp some oxygen. All right. Fine. - 7 Mary 3, 10-4. - You're doing fine. - So take it easy. - Keep it moving, come on. - Breathe some air. Go ahead. - Oh, my God. Randy. - Randy's in the car. - What? - Randy, Randy's in the car. - Hey, hey. You gotta do something. Randy's in the car. - I'll get him. - Calm down. Relax. Easy, boy, easy. Easy, boy, come on. Come now, hey, hey. Come on, come on. Come on here. Here, here. Come on, let me in there. Oh, no, come on, let... No, come on, easy, boy. Easy. Come on, let me. Come on. Randy. Come on, come on. No, no. Come here, come here. Come on. Attaboy, easy. Come on, Randy, come on. Come here, come on. Hey, hey, hey. No, no, no. Easy, boy, easy. - Go, boy. - Come on. No, no, no. - Easy. Come on, come on. - Come on. Don't hurt him. - Come on, Randy. - Come on. Be careful with him. - Don't hurt him. - Come on, get off there. Come on. Hold on, I'll get it. They'll be all right, relax. There, okay, I got it now. Come on. Come on, come on, get out. Come on, hurry up, come on. - You got him. - Come on. Come on. Hey, boy. Here, boy. Oh, baby, you're all right. Randy, you're okay, come on. Oh, Randy. Are you all right now? You didn't get burned. - Boy, I'm so happy. - Anybody hurt? Everybody okay? Yeah, we're fine. - Come here, boy. - I don't believe you. Getraer's gonna have a field day with you. I'm gonna give you a bath. Randy, you're gonna be beautiful for the weekend. Yeah, it's you and me, kid. It's okay. Come here, Randy. Come on. Give me a hug. Attaboy. Hey, Francis, I baked you a rhubarb pie. - All right. - How's that? Oh! Okay, Dirty Harry, we got you covered. - Got your own John Dillinger, huh? - Yeah, and, like, Capone too. Be it ever so humble. Yeah, where is Miss Sexy Feet? She's in that nest over there. Oh, well, you go on. I'll wait here and observe. Not like this. This has to be done right. Come on. Well, I see you've cleaned this up. Oh, yeah. Here, why don't you have a seat over here, Jon? - No, thanks. - You want a cold drink? - Yeah. What do you got? - Let me see. Got a little apple juice and a piece of watermelon left over from the Fourth. July Fourth? - Well, this is almost... - Yeah, I know. It's a little dried out. I'll pass. You know, I could do it like in the movies. I could walk over and borrow a cup of sugar or flour. Yeah, if you could find a cup. Are you kidding? I know where everything is in here. Lucky it was that pole and not my leg. Now, what do you think? Sugar or flour? What happened to the Poncherello School of Cool? Well, I'm always open for suggestions, Jon. Go up to her and say, "Hey, my name is Frank and I'd like to get to know you. " Take it from there, just be honest. You're right. You're absolutely right. I'm gonna let her discover me. I'll put these on and go outside and polish my bike. Chicks can't resist a nice, shiny bike. And me in these shorts. There she is. I can't see her feet. Got it. Dalecki's Baby Food. One of my officers? Loose load cite? Not so far, but we'll check right into it. Yes, sir, we'll start an immediate search for the two boxes. Right. 15-5 Mary L.A. 11-82, southbound Harbor freeway at Exposition. 15-7, Mary L.A. 11-79, northbound Hollywood Freeway at Vermont. Attention all units we are requesting all area agencies to assist in the search for two boxes of contaminated baby food. The boxes were lost on the Golden State, southbound, near Ninth. The food is contaminated with botulism. Repeat, botulism. I can't find the blue one. Which goes best with these shorts? Come on. You're not going to a fashion show. - You're going to meet a girl. - Yeah, maybe I don't need a shirt. But then again, I do look good in purple. Are you sure? No cites for a loose load on the Golden State? Of course. Baker and Poncherello. They came in this morning. They didn't respond to the dispatches because they're not on their bikes. They're at Poncherello's. Does anybody have Poncherello's phone number? Yeah. I shouldn't have let them go home. I shouldn't have... I'm too nice a guy. That's it. I'm just too nice a guy. You go to the drive-in very often? I don't have to. I can watch it from right here. Saves me a fortune. How do you know what's going on? You can't hear it. Well, during the winter, you kind of have to figure it out, read lips. But during the summer, all the car windows are open. It's like stereo. Hey, how do I get my nickel back out of here? Mr. Nice Guy. I'm gonna have my name legally changed to Mr. Nice Guy. Boy, never again. Never again. - Hey, sarge... - Later, Park, later, later. This is your noon news update, Larry McCormick reporting. Today, on the Golden State Freeway two boxes of deadly baby food were lost. This baby food is contaminated with botulism. The boxes are marked "Dalecki's. " Why do I do that? I mean just... I'm too nice a guy. I don't believe this. Hey. Hey. Yeah, you. What do you think you're doing? You were doing 68. You know, I could give you a citation for that. That's 13 miles over the speed limit. Thirteen miles. Do you know that? Yeah, all right. Just keep it under 55. And consider yourself warned and advised. Boy. Why am I such a nice guy? Now you stay by the window and watch. Every move is a picture. Now, go on by the window. Is she still out there? What "Uh-oh"? Is she with another guy? What's he doing here? I don't know. Maybe he heard about Melinda. If he's here, it means we're in trouble. But what did we do? We? Okay, who's been on the phone? Hi. What happened? Did you guys have a fight? Ever hear of the earthquake of '71? Who's been on the phone? You're supposed to be reachable by phone. - Nobody. - You're supposed to be on court call. We're here all the time, sarge. Yeah, well, then why has the phone been busy? Move your feet. No wonder nobody's called me all week. You know, Poncherello? I could put another Form 2 in your jacket. Hey, sarge. What brings you out here? Baby food. Not here. Did you guys cite a baby food truck? - Yeah, we did. - Yeah, loose load. We almost got killed. Well, that loose load contained contaminated baby food, botulism. There are two boxes missing. Either they're out on the road or someone picked it up. Do you remember anybody or anything? I was seeing double from my steeplechase ride. Look, guys, think. It's important. That stuff's poison. I wrote the cite but... Fritz called Caltrans and he stayed to clean things up. So maybe he remembers. All right, I'll call Fritz. You two guys get back to Central. But you sent us home, remember? Yeah, but I want you where I can reach you. Henry getting hungry? Oh, yes. How's it going, Henry? Oh, that's a boy, it's okay, Henry. Hang on. We're almost at the campgrounds. You all set...? Hi. - Hi. - It's kind of hot. I thought you might like some. Thank you. You live here? Yeah. No, not really. But my partner does. I kind of hang around here a lot. It's nice to know your neighbors. Especially when they're police officers. Yeah, I think so. Well I gotta run. You can return the glass anytime. Sure. Thank you. Hey, old buddy, did you set me up, huh? No. Here we go again. Yeah, let's just stay away from the flying boxes. Yeah, isn't this where we cited the truck? Just up ahead, I think. Let's take a look around, okay? What about your buddy Getraer? He won't miss me for another five more minutes. This is important. I'll check the divider. See anything? You? The boxes could've jumped the divider. Could be. Pull it over. What's the matter with you boys? You want to get yourselves killed? May I see your driver's license, ma'am? I was so afraid, seeing you. You boys ought to learn to study those posted signs. Ma'am, you were using an off-ramp to get on the freeway. And no wonder. With those itty-bitty signs. Now, you talk to your police chief. Oh, no, no, no. We're not L.A.P.D., see, we're State Highway Patrol. Well, better yet. Then talk to the governor. Watch out. I'll write this one. It's all mine. And you boys stop speeding along on those motor things. You'll get hurt. Tell that to the governor, will you? Hey, give me that. Never mind, Ponch. Excuse me, ma'am. Will be with you in a minute, okay? You can't write her a citation. I can write her three citations for what she did. You can't write her. She's angry. She's angry at us. She's angry at the itsy-bit... The signs. She's angry with the state. She won't sign the ticket, she just... She won't accept it. Hey, the kid, huh? I can tell. Okay? - I'll hook her up and take her down. - Take her down. What you gonna do? Tow her in? That's gonna do a lot to beef up your arrest record. Excuse me, ma'am. Until we have time to do something about those signs maybe you can be a little more careful, okay? Now, if you could just slide over. Nice Officer Poncherello will help you turn around, okay? You be careful now. We don't want to get hurt. She gave me a cookie. But it's for you. But we're still gonna have to have DMV retest her. For me. Hello, Henry. That's a boy. That's a boy. See, Daddy? Daddy? Henry. You know, I wonder if some kids might have picked up that baby food. Maybe, but the way those boxes were bouncing out of that truck they could have gone anywhere. Oh, no. There's that couple. Remember that couple yesterday with the flat tire? Of course. Scavengers. That's it! They must have hung around. I think we're getting senile. Not me. Oh, what happened? What did you do now? - We know where the baby food is. - Where? - A gypsy van. - A school bus. - Hey, slow down now. - Scavengers. Slow down, slow down. Hold it. Now, tell me about it. After we cited the baby-food truck about half a mile further, we saw a school bus... Converted school bus, gypsy van, loaded like you can't believe. Gotta be freeway scavengers. Headed south on the Golden State. Attention all units. The contaminated baby food dropped from the truck this morning was possibly picked up and carried off in a converted school bus. The bus is described as pre-1960 still official yellow color. The lettering has been painted over. When last seen, a canvas tarpaulin tied to its roof. Well, they could be anywhere. It's late. They gotta stop to camp for the night. There aren't many places a vehicle like that can stop. They usually can't afford the regular trailer camps. You know, they stop up in the Santa Monica canyons a lot. Yeah. They use the open areas alongside the road to camp. Okay, right. You two take Topanga Canyon. I'll send other units to help. Barkley, take Malibu Canyon, all right? Hold it. There's an accident this side of the tunnel. Took an hour to get a tow truck up. Another one's hung up there. It's a big mess. Motor's the only way through. Okay, you go. And you two better go too, since you know what it looks like. - Make sure you hit the side roads, right? - Okay. There's a rest area up ahead. I'll take it. I'll ask over here. It's a yellow school bus. I heard it on the radio, but I ain't seen no school bus. Thank you. You kids, now, give me this. All right, get in back. Stay back there. You stay up here. Leave your brother alone. - Give me that. - Excuse me, sir. What do you want? I'm looking for a yellow bus. All right, give me that squirt gun. Look, all I'm looking to do is get out of here. - Get up in the front. - Thank you. Yellow school bus, have you seen one? Thank you. Are you sure you didn't see a school bus? Okay, I'll talk to you later. - Nothing. - Me neither. Tapia Park's just over the hill. Let's check that out. There it is. - What's wrong? - Well, that baby food is poisoned. L.A. 15-7 Mary 4. Code 33. Attention all units. Code 33. All frequencies clear. Go ahead, 7 Mary 4. We found the baby food. It has been eaten by an infant. We're in Tapia Park on Malibu Canyon Road. We'll need our copter to get the baby out. The canyon is all jammed up. Negative, 7 Mary 4. The CHP helicopter is halfway to Palm Springs on a blood run. Sheriff has a chopper out of Malibu. Let's get it! 10-23, 7 Mary 4. This is CHP to Station B. - How's it going? - Hang in. I'm trying to get a chopper. 7 Mary 4, negative on the sheriff's helicopter. It's at Aero Bureau in Long Beach. Its ETA would be 20 minutes. 7 Mary 3, contact UC paramedics and advise victim eight months old, weighs 20 pounds. Ingested approximately three ounces of pudding within the last 10 minutes. Respond with instructions. - 10-4. - My baby. What can we do? They'll tell us. Hey, you know, he's cute. What's his name? - Henry. - Henry? You know, I got an Uncle Henry. Looks just like you. - L.A. 15. 7 Mary 3. - This is 7 Mary 3. U.C. Medical says the baby should have its stomach pumped immediately. Imperative. Antitoxin must be administered. - We have to get him to a hospital. - Don't worry. We will. Send an ambulance to Malibu end of the canyon. We'll meet them there. - 10-4. - Carry or lead? I'll carry. Come on, Henry. Hey, hey, hey, hey. You'll go with big Jon. Hang on, Henry. Hey, screw you, cop. Get over there. Easy. Easy, Henry. Come on. Here. Take it easy. Attaboy. Hey, his name is Henry. He's still in recovery, but the doctor says he's gonna be okay. What about the baby food? It's all accounted for. 15-8's got it. You put in a good day, fellows. There is one other thing. I hate to bring it up but you'll have to cut down on the personal calls at the office. But we weren't even there to make any calls. Oh, its not making them. It's getting them. This isn't a personal answering service, you know. You mean I got a personal call? There are three messages here from a Melinda. See that? I knew it. I knew she'd call me once she saw me. No, no. They're not for Poncherello. They're for Baker. THE MODEL COUPLE Hey, model couple! This wasteland you see RESEARCH LAB NEW CITY A2 will be The setting for a cautionary tale educational for all About the model couple and their fall MINISTRY OF THE FUTURE It,s cold. Need a hand? No, it,s fine. Where is it? - Over there. - Great. Good-bye and good luck! Thanks. Bye. MODEL COUPLE - CONTROL ROOM - LAB That way? Excuse me. - Yes? - We,re the couple. The couple! Did you get a schedule? No, nothing. I,II go find out. Our model couple! hello, CIaudine and Jean-MicheI! Take their bags. We,ve been expecting you. Nice trip? Not too tired? Right this way. Changing rooms. Undress completely. toilets, showers - then come to the control room. - Is this the latest data? - Yes, ma,am. Enter the couple,s data for Program 97. Camera loaded? Ready? AII systems go, darling. This way, please. At last! You must be CIaudine. - They didn,t get a schedule. - Don,t start that now. This way, please. Is this your file? file, please. Good. You haven,t eaten, I hope. - Nice trip? - Us? We got lost at first, but after that it was easy. Here,s the paperwork. CIaudine, Jean-MicheI, against the wall, please. Very good. Now undress. That,s right - undress. Lab coats off, shoulders against the wall. Jean-MicheI, tell us how you met. Me or... Sure, CIaudine. At some friends, dinner party. I hadn,t really noticed him. But at a certain point our eyes met, ,cause we were both bored. - You were bored? - Yes. THEY WERE BORED. He smiled and then - It wasn,t Iove at first sight, but... I was surprised when he called me afterwards. ,We got to know each other, Iike in the song. What song? By Hugues Aufray. could you sing it for us? No, not Iike this. REFUSES TO SING - How about you? - I don,t know it. could you describe your relationship? well, we,re very close. THEY,RE CLOSE. We,re different, but complementary. Describe CIaudine. She,s sweet. She,s strong-wiIIed, knows her own mind, meticulous. - How do you show that? - For exampIe - Hands up. At first, Jean-MicheI expected me to serve him. It was always me who brought up breakfast. He,d never think to bring me breakfast. - You lived in a house? - A house? You said ,brought up breakfast., It,s just an expression. We live in an apartment. - I see. - Very good. What about politics? What role does it play in your life? politics? We,re neither left- nor right-wing. NEITHER LEFT - NOR RIGHT-WING We,re not activists, but we keep up with the news. Jean-MicheI and CIaudine, you know why you,re here. We,re designing an experimental Urban Center, and we want its inhabitants to feel comfortable. You,ve been chosen as typical users of the year 2000. We want to Iearn about your desires, your fears. We want to measure your basic level of social integration. I know you,II do your best to help. You,II also be helping your fellow citizens - and France! FRANCE! - What,s keeping him? - Here he is. Sorry. I went to get a map. Here it is. We,re off. I,II lead the way. Come in. ,model apartment., Living room, kitchen. Excuse me. This way. - It,s big! Come on in. This is the living room. As you can see, it,s not quite finished, but you,II have furniture tomorrow. What are those numbers? Those are... reference points. I,II just go get the - Here we are. With some furniture - ,wall., That clears things up! Yuck! I feel like I,m in diapers. hold on. Let me show you. Here I come. It,s very chic. I rang the doorbell. Didn,t you hear? I brought your dinner. Can I help? No need. Sit down. The gas will be hooked up tomorrow, so you,II be able to cook for yourselves. Water. Wine. It,s not working. Excuse me. There. You,re on TV. - What will we do tomorrow? - You,II see. Here,s a mattress. The bedroom will be ready tomorrow. This afternoon the model couple moved into their happy new home. We,II follow this fascinating experiment closely over the next six months. Tonight all of France wonders, ,Who are you, CIaudine and Jean-MicheI? , We,II try to answer with a few images. CIaudine is 25, a keypunch operator at a maiI-order company. She,s Parisian. Jean-MicheI is 29, from Thonon-Ies-Bains. In middle management at a Iarge marketing firm, he earns 3,220 francs a month. He,s dynamic, athletic, conscientious, and likable. Married two years, they plan to have their first child in the model Apartment, and they,ve received special leaves of absence for the duration. We,II let our couple settle in. We,II check in again tomorrow, and throughout the experiment. Good night, CIaudine and Jean-MicheI, and good luck! And now, the situation in portugal - Nice, huh? What,s wrong? - I,m afraid. Why? What is it? I don,t know. Sweetie pie, what,s wrong? Are you okay? This is science. It,s not - I don,t know. That woman - Have you seen my pills? Aren,t they on the table? You know, I really feel awful. What are they doing? CIaudine,s feeling down. She,s crying. Jean-MicheI is comforting her. They,re such a pain! ,I,m always the one who brings up breakfast., Time for our little show. It,s ready, ma,am. 3, 2, 1 . Be happy. Love one another. We,re creating this city for you. To make you happy. Be happy, but not too happy. Too happy and you,d have nothing to wish for. - What,s this crap? - You think they,re listening? Not just listening. Look. - Cameras? - Of course. Love one another! We,re thinking of you. Love one another! You heard ,em. Come on! Come on. - Not here. This is our home. Not in front of them. I,m not kidding. - It,s our home. - They,re watching. It,s for science. - really? - Of course. It,s still broken. - What is it? - White bean stew. Is there any yogurt? certainly, darling. wolfgang, could you fix that? I rang the doorbell. Didn,t you hear? - Yes. Breakfast is served. We,re coming. Eat breakfast the way you usually do. On my mark: 1 , 2, 3, go! What will you have? Can I have coffee? Coffee or tea? We usually have coffee. THEY USUALLY HAVE COFFEE. certainly. We serve Jacques Vabre coffee. Can I have some milk? Me too. CLAUDINE TOO. - What else? - I see some croissants. Yes, brioches, croissants, whole wheat, rye, white, pumpernickel. I,II have a croissant. I,d like toast. CROISSANTS AND TOAST Butter and jelly? Butter and jelly. Raspberry or orange? Orange. No, raspberry. RASPBERRY Me too. It,s stuck. e Yogurt. With fruit, caramel or custard? - No, later. - chocolate pudding? Fruit? Banana, orange, apple, pear? Don,t drink while you,re chewing. Toast? No! I haven,t finished my croissant. - Don,t get annoyed. - Be nice. HE,S ANNO YED! Don,t treat me like I,m handicapped! relax. You have plenty of time. Take your time to eat and drink. - I was really hungry. - Hurry up. I,d like some sugar. What,s going on? What is it? - It,s good. SAYS IT,S GOOD. - AII done? - I,m not! We,re too rushed! Had enough to eat? AII done? Ready... and stop. Now go get washed up. Look at all this! nicely done. - Where,s the faucet? Brut for Men. That,s for me. For my hair. Nice color scheme. Here,s another cabinet. No, it,s a bidet! How practical! It really is. I,II just sit down. - Not too sturdy. - Sure it is. This is great! Did you see the tub? Look! Straight out of hollywood. It,s comfortable, with handles and everything. CIaudine, Jean-MicheI, please get cleaned up and meet us in the living room. What kind of decor do you prefer? I Iike antiques. I Iike natural, ecological materials. AII we,ve got is modern. Here,s one possible layout for the living room. Do we have to follow it? No, do what you Iike. - Can we keep it? It,II give us ideas. - Sure. Ladies and gents, our table Now take a peek And the chairs of plastic Green is so chic Isn,t our hi-fi cool? And the TV? Where does it go? What could that be? A table lamp Where should it go? Right here or over there Over here is even better Looks cool Check it out... wow! We,ve found our style Easy as pie What could this be? shelves, just what we need We,ve gotta work Gotta try our best To fix up our love nest We,re not done yet Here,s the TVset It,s all first-cIass Everything,s mirrors and tinted glass Decorated like hollywood Super ideas Such taste and style... wow! plants of real plastic Fake leather couch This is fan-tas-tic A ball that,s magic Pass it to me Now you, now me Time for knick-knacks Let,s hurry up At last we,re done We just gotta Straighten up and we,ve won The guy,s back will he approve? We did our best It was tough... wow! Now we,II show CIaudine her kitchen... and Jean-MicheI, his workplace. - Great. This is your double pyroIytic oven with three-pIy panoramic doors, illuminated indicators, temperature control and electronic timer. Here,s your roII-out cupboard. would you cook with this? No! We,ve installed a stovetop with double high-speed electric burners. You can boil an egg in under 20 seconds! You must have been born under a lucky star to get this marvelous electric grill. You,II be grilling like a professional chef! cleaning windows is such a chore! The outside is difficult and dangerous to reach. Our two-piece set lets you clean inside and outside -- What about the dishes? DishcIoths won,t do. Here,s your uItra-modern dishwasher with six automatic cycles. How much time will you save? 319 hours a year! You choose: dishwasher or dishcloth? May I present the combination fridge-freezer, two appliances in one. The fridge for everyday use, and the freezer for - Don,t forget the finishing touch! The way to a man,s heart is through his stomach, and some have big hearts! Introducing ChatouiIIard potatoes. ChatouiIIard is the inventor,s name, a 19th-century rotisserie owner. Watch carefully. It,s specially designed for the ladies, because we all know you,re not good with complicated gadgets. I,m not saying you,re dumb - perish the thought - especially during ,The Year of the Woman., Besides, it,s not your fault. Withdraw the spindle, break one end, and imagine! Lamb, chicken, roast beef, or rabbit with perfect potato spirals! You,II make a splash! Everyone knows a weII-fed husband never cheats on his wife at dinnertime! What smells so good? RavioIi! I Iove ravioIi! He loves them! AII right. - Another one? - That,s enough. - should I start? - Go. tell me what you feel without using words. Express yourselves with sounds. Sounds? Don,t think, just do it. Express yourself with sounds. CIaudine, wait your turn. Jean-MicheI is first. Me... Okay, calm down and speak using numbers. Numbers! This isn,t a game. 3 - 3 - 3 - 33 - 33 - 22 - 40 ! Thank you. TODAY WENT WELL. IN FACT, REALLY WELL. Things went well today, huh? Yes, I think so. especially at the end. They seemed really pleased. Yeah, I think they,re pleased. But she hates me. I,m sure of it. Her? I can see it in her eyes. She can,t stand me. No, you,ve got her all wrong. She only seems cold and serious because she,s a scientist. She,s not really mean. You don,t think so? What did you do today? Today? Let me see. I tested steering wheels and pens. How was it? Okay. Steering wheels? How was your day? I made - I was in the kitchen. Did you see the results? There weren,t any. It was just these guys who were there with different stuff. careful. Not under there. Why not? I think tonight we,d better not. Why not? I,m sure we,re covered with wires for a reason. CIaudine, you get 400 francs for this week,s groceries. Buy only what,s necessary. You have 30 minutes. Go. You chose ariel. What about two boxes of Dash instead? Okay. - Or three boxes of Omo? - Okay. How about four boxes of Dato instead? Sure! And finally, three boxes of X-Tra instead? Three boxes of X-Tra? - Is this a giveaway? - Can we have some? PineappIes fresh from the Ivory Coast, cookies of the highest quality. On special today.. Frankfurt wieners and Spanish beans! Our bananas are never stringy or mushy. A lady should always be weII-groomed. Is the Pernod salesman still in the store? Don,t break anything. 422.80 francs. - Did she go over? - 422.80 francs. 422.80 francs. - well, CIaudine? - This could go back. And this. Are you keeping this? AII right. Now explain your purchases for me. This is the best one. Go? AII done. What? Nothing. Good. I,II try the second one now. The first one,s better. Have you seen my - What the hell did you do with my paper? ZoIa. BaIzac. No, we said we,d put ZoIa here. You said ZoIa goes there. You never listen! ZoIa goes here. You want ZoIa? Here! Are you nuts? That,s right! THE GREAT PAINTERS Sweetie, where do the great painters go? Maybe up there? I don,t know. Put them over there. Not like that! Not there! Jean-MicheI, feel your way to CIaudine. When you find her, explore her body with your hands. Describe what you feel. Be honest. I got the feeling she was hiding. It,s her all right. Good. Jean-MicheI, take one step forward and fall backward into CIaudine,s arms. Go. Very good. Take off his blindfold. How do you feel? It,s weird. I was a little afraid. Good. By the way, have you seen my pen? I Ieft it here. really? Sometimes we pick up things without thinking. But we didn,t! May I? Are you kidding? please. We don,t have your pen. That,s enough! We don,t have it! Sixteen seconds. normal. Sixteen seconds? normal? You tolerated aggressivity towards yourself, but not CIaudine. A common protective reflex, but within a short time frame. Stop measuring everything! Leave us alone, damn it! - ,Damn it,? - Yes, damn it! Twenty-four seconds. Very good. Thank you. See you tomorrow. - I can,t stand this. - Sure you can. It,s not so bad. Besides, it,s for science, right? My model sweetie pie! model sweetie pie... - Visitors. - I know. would you give this lady your autograph? If you would. Thanks very much. - Did they give you all this stuff? - No, but we,II get a discount. It should be free. It,s all name-brand stuff. You were great on TV. Is Jean-MicheI here? He,s around somewhere. Bravo, CIaudine. Kids, stop it! unbelievable! - You use all this stuff? - Sure. With the dining nook over there, they,d have more room. - I Iike it this way. - And the beam is charming. I,d put up a wall. Go back to your spot. He was transferred. I don,t understand why Cruyft plays for Madrid now. It,s not ,Cruyft, it,s Johan Cruijff. And it,s not Madrid, it,s barcelona. No, not my stereo! Be careful! It,s very fragile. Give me that. Kids, that,s not a toy! Back to your places now. Guess how much the Camembert was. - I don,t know. Five francs? - 4.35. Where,d you get it? I got that... Have you seen my tape, wolfgang? Where the hell did I put that damn tape? And he plays Mr. Nice Guy! He only wants to be the object of positive transference and affection, and I get all the negativity! Give me a break! Know what your problem is? At first you wanted to be the aII-powerfuI phaIIic mother manipulating love and hate, but you never responded to their demands for love and bonding because you couldn,t stand being part of the very tests you reject. Your subconscious spilled over into your work. You swayed the experiment in the couple,s favor by being aggressive, because deep down you no Ionger want to be a ,tool, a mere ,technician,! You always oversimpIify, sweetie. It,s much more complicated. What if I was doing it on purpose from the start? Right! What did I do with that tape? Did I erase it? CIaudine, Jean-MicheI, good morning! I,II be showing you some images, and I,d like to know whether, if the thing or person shown disappeared, you,d be happier, less happy, or indifferent. Happier, less happy, or indifferent. Okay. If what? If the person disappeared, would you be happier or less happy? Ready? Here we go. Happier. Happier. Less happy. - Indifferent. - I Iike it. - Happier. - Happier. How awful! - Happier. - Happier. - Indifferent. - Less happy. Oh, definitely happier! Very good. Now, if I asked you point-bIank, ,Are you happy? , what would you say? Very happy? mostly happy? Happy? mostly unhappy? Very unhappy? No opinion? - We,re mostly happy. - mostly happy? I,d say so. I should check ,mostly happy,? I think so. well, maybe that,s too strong. Maybe just ,happy., I should put ,happy,? Yes, check ,happy., - I,II put ,happy., - It,s not Iike we,re unhappy! You,re not unhappy? We just told you we,re not! Not unhappy at all? I mean, it,s not always easy, but - So you,re not unhappy. Sometimes. What do I check? I don,t know. Put ,slightly unhappy, if you want. I don,t want anything. It,s up to you. What do you want? She doesn,t know and neither do I! Don,t check anything! Fine. Then we,re done. Good, we,re done. Let,s have a drink. How about having a drink with us? Lights! Are you allowed during work hours? It,s not that. We,re way behind schedule. Whatever you Iike. Our door is always open. Thanks. Another time. Listen, we were wondering: How did you end up working here? - You think it,s weird? - I,m not criticizing. It,s just... you dissect people, examine them, manipulate them. We don,t manipulate anyone. really? You know, Jean-MicheI, we question these things too. constantly. With a degree in psychosocioIogy, what are our options? One is the System, with a capital S: marketing or advertising and a fat paycheck, and lots of what you call manipulation. Another is the system with a lowercase S: research, academia, and places like this, the Ministry of the Future. What should we do? - Okay, I get it. Raise sheep in the boonies, or join the system to throw a monkey wrench in it? What we,re really interested in, what I care about, is how perverse the social sciences can be. For exampIe, we both used to work in an asylum. We changed quite a few things, even on an everyday level. We don,t want to make problems. Check ,happy., I,II check whatever you Iike. I just don,t understand why you refused to cooperate. We didn,t. It just felt like you expected a certain answer. That,s right! What answer? I don,t know. Why isn,t there a box for ,fairly happy,? We have ,mostly happy, don,t we? It,s not the same! We can,t have dozens of options. If we say ,fairly happy, which box do you check? This is all quibbIing over words. It,s just a check box, not The Brothers Karamazov! That option isn,t offered. It,s a pity, but that,s how it is. You make me laugh! We make him laugh. well, you two are starting to worry us. - What do you mean? - What do I mean? You were chosen because you were 76-/- average, and after just a few days, you,re barely 44-/- average. I was about to tell you: If you don,t stay above 50-/-, you won,t be here long. We,re not above 50-/-? We,re not making this up. Think of your country, of yourselves, of everything we,ve done. It,d be a terrible waste. They,II make us pay for everything, just you wait! - Is that supposed to be irony? - Why, is it forbidden? Listen, Jean-MicheI. Do you think you,re doing this all by yourself? Have you any idea what we must deal with? Sometimes I wonder why we bother. I thought scientists were much more patient. At work we deal with relationships and statistics - Check 7 under ,aggressiveness., You,d put 7? ,Check 7., There you go again! You want aggressiveness? Let me handle this. - Maybe 8. - Right, check 8. Your colleague said 8. Check that. Note, ,The couple find the technicians very amusing., personally, I,m very tired, and right now I really don,t find this amusing. Then just check ,no opinion., I,m not checking anything. You can, if you Iike, but I won,t check just any box. This isn,t tic-tac-toe! We,re getting off the point. We,re lucky this is on camera, or no one would believe it. calm down! Just checking. Let,s put 8. I give up! This is a loony bin! At the risk of being rude, Jean-MicheI, last night you suffered once again from premature ejaculation. Perhaps. It happens sometimes. But I think you,re being judgmental or trying to annoy me, and that,s out of line. Listen, we practically live together, yet we hardly know each other. For exampIe, what,s your relationship? I,m not sure how to take that. You know everything about us, but we - Listen, Jean-MicheI. Let,s say you,re at the post office. You wait in line. You buy stamps. Do you ask the employee,s name or who they voted for? I,m just saying it might be nice. well, what do we put down? I get it - another test. You,re trying to get us to crack. - Is this on purpose? - Where were we? please answer me: Are you jerking us around? Jean-MicheI, I swear by all our colleagues and all our tests that we,d never do that. By no means. For the Iast time, look deep inside yourselves and tell us what to put down. Just check ,happy., There! Isn,t that better? We deserve awards for that performance! What? Your explanations sure were lame. well, they worked! ,please answer me: Are you jerking us around? , ,Never! , Commence Phase 4: denormaIization and de-modeIization of couple B-1 4. What do they think we,re doing? - Jerking them around. They didn,t mind at first. But now? We,II see. I didn,t enlist in the army! Drop this French bullshit. I don,t believe this. Did you see her face when I said, ,Put down that the couple finds the technicians amusing., ,I don,t find you amusing., This Camembert isn,t bad. - What? - This Camembert isn,t bad. You,re out of synch! Out of what? - Your words don,t match your lips. - Neither do yours. What,s going on? - Again. - What,s going on? It,s back to normal. What,s going on? Okay. Geez, that scared me! CLAUDINE ISN,T HAPPY NOT VERY HAPPY NOT HAPPY AT ALL J-MICHEL DOESN,T UNDERSTAND Today we,II study how you quarrel. Get everything off your chests. - You want us to fight? - Yes. Go on. Just like that? well, um... you,re dumb. No, you are. Is that all you can think of? No, I couId say... I,ve had enough. You go out. You see people and have fun, while I,m stuck here alone. Then you come home and get waited on. Are you kidding now? Sure, I laugh all day long. And you cry too, right? What would you know? I couId tell you a thing or two myself. Who supports us? What about after this experiment? Who will work? Me. You think I don,t support us? You don,t know what it,s like being stuck here, spied on by those voyeurs in black coats! I can,t even fart without being graded! Think that,s fun? You gotta be kidding. What do you think I do? I work all afternoon. You sit on your fat ass and push buttons. That,s all you,re good for. Here come the insults! ,Fat ass, and all that. Listen, I,ve got things to say, and I mean it. I,ve about had it with this experiment! I,m fed up living with you. - Why,d you come then? I never forced you! You did! I was supposed to go to Canada. Who wanted to do this? Who stopped me from going to Canada? Who stopped me from acting? Admit it, it was you. Now you say you didn,t want to come here? - I did it for you. - You,re such a liar! You were glad to come! What,s more, we,re gonna get tossed out, and it,s all your fault. seriously, if you could hear your bullshit yesterday - I don,t want to be rude, but - Why did you have to ask, ,What,s your relationship? , And that stupid laugh! Did you see them? The argument we,re watching - you claim it was spontaneous, but we all know it was scripted and developed by the Ministry of psychoanalysis. Let,s talk about that! It gives me great pleasure to see the experiment fail. What is this couple doing? They,re escaping structure through conflict! conflict is part of human nature and must be dealt with, not covered up. They,re warning us, "Watch out. Any portrayal of confIict-free happiness leads to alienation. real life is about dealing with conflict and resolving it. " If I may interrupt - The way you yelled at me after dinner - Don,t play innocent. That,s why I threw the ZoIas. You,re pissing me off. You piss me off too! But I,m never allowed to say anything! If this is truly a model couple, this experiment will reveal their needs and allow the government to plan manufacturing to fulfill those needs, thus wiping out inequality. You say ,average, but average what? We can calculate the average number of feet among birds and cats, but they,re two entirely different populations with entirely different structures! It,s crazy! I have to say that it frightens me. I,m not denying that the model couple represents something. But I,d like to point out that the trademark of all totalitarian societies is to propagate an image of an ideal couple or family. After all, it,s the first time we,ve had a chance to examine an average couple from the inside, which makes this experiment unique and absolutely marvelous. But what we discover may offend our beliefs, our convictions, our unconscious. I don,t deny that I,m aggressive towards this type of person! please, calm down. But this is still an advanced, liberal society, as far as I know. The police aren,t standing behind me, so I can say - Let him talk, BonaIoi. You see? Stop it! Watch out, or I,II hit you! Don,t try that again! You,re all brawn, no brain! Stop it! Bastard! Okay, okay. I lost my temper. Thanks. I noticed. I,m sorry. Oh, don,t start whining! I was mad. I didn,t mean it. Did I hurt you? Come on. I,d like to thank our guests. Good night, viewers. until next time. Paris, whore of the world It,s been confirmed that general Pinochet remains in critical condition. His family is with him, and we hope to have better news soon. Our model couple has now been ,in orbit, and under constant surveillance for three weeks. No ill effects to report. Quite the opposite. However, the City of the Future has hit some snags. The project has stirred up local opposition: demonstrations by workers, farmers, small business owners, to say nothing of ecologists, and the movement keeps growing. The Ministry of the Future intends to delve into the problem by visiting the region in coming days to better understand the situation. Isn,t there... any toast or anything? Want me to make some? shall I make some toast? No, don,t bother. Are you nuts? What,s going on up there? You,re not hurt, I hope. What the heck - What,s going on? It was a farmers,protest. They,re gone now. Who,II clean this up? I,m all alone here today! Can I come out? Can you believe it? They,re nuts! It,s dramatic What,s going on? The minister,s coming, and nothing,s ready. No one told us about it. What do you mean? You got a memo announcing his visit a month ago. There it is, on the wall. - Right. The same one that says that in six months we,d get a raise and be promoted to level B-4 and never work over 40 hours a week. Where,s that replacement crew you promised? We,re here 24 hours a day. Listen. We,II discuss your demands later. AII I can say is the minister arrives in five minutes. Union or no union, if you,re not ready, you,II pay! - We,II see about that. - Yes, we will! We,re not afraid of the minister. I,ve got a few things to tell him. If you bother the minister with your problems - This is the control room. hello, Schneider. Did you drop something? This is Dr. GoIdberg, eminent psycho-futuroIogist, and his assistant, Mr. - Very interesting. What happens here? That,s what we,re here to show you. follow me. This is our team. It,s an honor. What is it? You're a Brahmin who's here to cook for Jai, right? But Jai is a non-vegetarian! How will a Brahmin cook that? That's between Jai and me. Why must you interfere? Okay. I have something else to say. What is it? That's between Jai and me! I'll tell Jai, of course! Atleast you tell me, Ratna. I will speak to Jai, too. Okay. Sit here and wait for Jai. I'm off for a bath. Don't bathe in the evening! You could have a chest-congestion! We Brahmins always bathe before we cook. Great woman! She observes cleanliness even at this age! You bathe everyday, don't you? What do you mean? I mean, it's good to bathe everyday! Wow! She is even religious... What a chaste woman! Jai! What are you up to? The water wouldn't flow the drain! So I came down! Jai! What's that? You're wearing a matrimonial necklace! It belonged to my mother. When she died... my father asked me to preserve it carefully. And what's that... on your forehead? Eyebrows, eh? It's a dot! This doesn't belong to Mom. Aunty gave it to me and said... "You have a necklace. Complete the picture with a dot"! You must wear it on your forehead. Jai! I'm here too! Talk to me, when you're through with her! What is it, Haribhai? I was terribly sorry... to hear of your mother's death. When? Oh yes... just now! She's dead, isn't she? Absolutely! But that's an old story. There's something new. She's here. Who's that? Aunty! I know that. How did you know? You told me just now. Didn't you? Damn it! I speak a lot! So what's the important thing you've got to discuss? How do you know I had something to discuss? How? You didn't tell me. Neither did Haribhai. But I know it. And how? The fact that you're here means it's important! First drive the Gujju out. I'll go away. But I must tell you something before I leave! You know I'm a widow, don't you, Jai? What is a man who loses his wife called? A widow? Right! I have problems with food in my house. Could you ask aunty to cook for me, too? How could I do that? You don't have to cook! Ask her to cook for me! It's the same thing! God! She must have fallen! I'll take a look! Where to? Aren't you ashamed to watch a woman bathing? ! And where are you going? But I'm a girl, too. Aunty's not a girl; She's a woman! Do something. You stand and watch, while she falls inside! I can't even watch... the doors are shut. Let me see... Relax! I'll ask her! Aunty! What has happened? Nothing. What fell inside? It was my blouse. A blouse? Did a blouse make so much of noise? ! Did a blouse make the noise? I was in the blouse, too! She was there, too. I see. That's all right. You aren't hurt, are you? I'll tell you, if I'm hurt. She'll tell us. Let me take a look. What are you doing? Will she cook for me? What misbehaviour is this! Go away! Just go away...! Don't forget! I own the place! And you owe me the rent! And you're driving me out! Don't misunderstand me! What do they consider guests to be in India? They're called guests! Yes. That's right! Yes! Guests are like God! Yes. You're right! So, what is it? I've got to know your secret. Really? What secret? You're not a dance assistant alone. Joseph and I share the secret now. The drunkard has tattled, has he? Not him. Producer Ranbir Kapoor told me his. Does he know about it, too? Of course. It'll be out in the newspapers tomorrow. In the newspapers, too? Yes. I've sent the news! You're not an assistant director anymore. You've been promoted. Jaiprakash Paswan is now an independent choreographer! What a cold reaction! No! It means the same! Won't you reward me for the good news I've brought? What do you want? Don't you remember? No! This won't do! What if someone sees us? You mean aunty? Yes. That's how you hurt your own feet! So let's go... Okay... I mean, I've got to go to the loo! But aunty's using it now. I'll go after she comes out. I have a lot to do! When must I come again? When I'm not around This is very soft... like velvet. Naturally. It's pure silk. It cost us 4,000 Rupees. Sleeping in this is so much fun, as if... As much fun as it is in your husband's arms, right? Don't take of fence. I said that only because... I enjoyed the bliss of Cashmere silk, on a mat with my husband. Hand me the pillow-cover. Who's this handsome hiding in your pillow? Is he your brother? He seems to be young. Must be your elder brother then? Why do you always giggle? Go away. He was my husband. Was? Is he no more? Gosh! Don't say that! Have you had a drivorsh? It's "divorce", aunty. Not drivorsh. He's pretty good looking. Looks can be misleading. Give me that. May I say something? A young couple can separate... but parents must never be done apart. Never mind that. Go and see what Bharti is doing. Let me work! You're always working. When do I tickle you then? This sieve is steaming hot! It could hurt you. Well, dear? What are you doing here? I came here for a soft-drink. What are you messing with the refrigerator for? I want a fruity. It's over, I say. Go away. I want one! Go away! Didn't I warn you, dear? You've burnt your hand now. Look what has happened, Mom! Don't disturb me, Bharti. Let me work. Aunty! See what's wrong with Bharti. So what's wrong? What happened? Kaushalya has burnt my hand. Burnt you, did she? ! But what happened? She burnt Banwa first and then me, too. Banwa? What was he doing there? He was only tickling her. I see. What I saw was the night-show; He's into the matinees now! Let's apply some ointment... Why did you go there anyway? I went for a soft-drink and she didn't let me open the fridge. The thief? She must have had it herself. She's stolen so much already. Is that the truth? Of course. All right. Papa will set it right! Aunt will set it right, you mean! Well... Aunt will! Back to the table, Bharti. I've got an order for 50000 pairs of shoes from Italy, sir. The manager has left his file. Good. But he said we can't execute the order. Why not? Slaying animals is tough... thanks to the animal protection groups. They're protesting atrocities against animals in the Capital. You'll get a shock, Bharti. Kaushalya... you switch it on. "Listen to the secret news from Bharti" "There are many thefts taking place at No. 10, Juhu Scheme" "Our reporter, Aunty, is investigating the robberies" "We present a special report" You even steal! That's not me! They're playing such dirty tricks on film stars, too! The aunt is jealous of me! You mustn't say that, dear! This is only a trailer. Had I shot the whole show we'd have had a video-library! You're lying! Stop this nonsense! Let me talk to her, sir. Well, Kaushi? Why did you do that? You dare steal here, Kaushalya! Impudent woman! Dangerous woman, sir! She's playing the Bandit Queen! You, too? Shut up! Who else, if not I? ! The neighbours won't ask if my house is robbed! I ran out of battery, or I'd have shot the night-scene... The day-scene is all so obvious! Why'd we need night-scenes? Call the police, Banwa. That's not necessary, sir! I'll personally throw her out! Shameless creature! You dare bite the hand that feeds! Will you do all that in my presence, Banwa! Yes. The garden is the ideal place. Let's go... The plate, Banwa... Sure. Clap on! I said, the plate. ...that you're holding. Get out! This home is temple for us! Right? You're right, sir. Go on... don't mind this! Go away! Let me not see you around again! Thanks, Laxmi. You have awakened us today. I wonder how many thieves we have at home! She'll play Alibaba and drive away the thieves, grandpa. I threw her out of the gate, sir! I'd throw her out of town, if I could. I'll find another maid in a couple of days. Why a maid? Why not a male? We can find a good cook. With a maid around, maybe... You win, aunt! A male would be perfect. I'll find a cook soon. That's okay. What do we eat till then? I'll cook. I did it for 5 years in my house. No thank you. You people have been flesh-eaters! You must help her, Laxmi. I can't stand the smell of flesh in this house! Go to the market with her. Very well. What's so funny? You're always giggling! But they're tomatoes! I suggested we go to the air-conditioned and clean Foodland. But Aunt had to insist... It's not good to buy vegetables from such a dirty place, aunt. We have you with us for safety, don't we? Would you like some ladyfinger? Go and get some bunches of fenugreek from there, aunt. Why must you need something so bitter? Papa loves it, aunt. Give it to him everyday... and he'll will all his property to you. If only fenugreek could get his property... Two kilos each of potatoes, tomatoes and ladyfinger. Has Uncle spoken to you? About what? About us, that is... Could we have some gourd? What insolence is this? ! Was that insolence? What d'you think you're doing? No English, feller! You need a slap to rid you of your shamelessness! Don't mess with him. Let's move. He held my hand! And you talk of going away! Talk to me, lady! Never mind this chap. Are you a cop? Talk to this man! She's like your sister... Your sister maybe! To me, she looks like a ravishing film-star! Don't touch me. Or else... I haven't yet. But here goes! I'll show you now...! Let me see what you have. Let go of my hand! Let go of her hand first. Go away, Janki. Come along, aunty! Take the doctor and leave! Take Mom away, Bharti! Let's go, Mom! Please! I'm about to lose my temper! Let go of my hand! No one dares touch me here! Bloody rat! You can touch women! But women can't touch you, eh? I want to ask your Mom what she ate before delivering you! Shera! Ashok! Kaliya! I spare you because you're a woman. Or else... Don't just stand here! Split! Where to? Come here! Don't stand and watch! Get her! Bravo, aunt! That was wonderful! Maa! Remember your Maa now? Always remember her, before you touch another woman. You can even remember me. Sure, Mom! Call me "aunt"...not Mom! You were great, young lady! Thank you, Laxmi. What for? This is my duty. Not for the juice. You did me a great favour yesterday. You have protected my children like a member of the family. They're dear to me, too. Anything could have happened, if you were not there. The worthless doctor just fled! And I was thinking of getting him married to Janki. I've changed my mind! The doctor does not deserve Janki! Have you asked Janki too? Why ask her? She has no sense either. Maybe she loves him. She was in love with that idiot of a film-man too! But what happened? She ran away from the home and me, you know? But I didn't give up! I have brought her back! And that, too, after she has a child! I see... but how did you accomplish all this? One has to apply his mind for the children's welfare. One cannot live on love alone. One needs money. One needs comforts... And luxuries, too. What happened? My heart... Janki! Janki! I want a truck-load of flowers. Have the house washed... Have the boss's white attire ironed. And I want 200 kgs of ice... That's a must! We'll lay the boss's body on that... or his body will stink till his brother arrives from Nepal. He must be given a National Hero's farewell! He is leaving us so much! I'll ask his daughter and let you know more. Hang on. What happened? Everything is fine. Call off everything! Bless aunt! The worst could have happened if she had not rushed you here on time. She carried you all the way as if you were a child! You ought to take part in the Olympics, aunt! India would be assured of at least one gold medal. Never mind that, doctor. Is the master okay now? He's absolutely fine. Aunty! How will I... Why are you making her cry? Leave her alone. Ask the doctor when we can take the boss home, dear. Today itself. And Dr. Rohit is around for help, too. Let's go home, uncle. Get well soon. We've got a lot to decide. No, Rohit. You're a good doctor, I know. But let's leave it at that. What do you say, Laxmi? Place some money in aunt's plate, grandpa. Why do I need to do that, dear? After all that she has done for us we ought to give her the keys of the family. Use keys on locks, sir. Place some change in it now. Treat that like a golden biscuit! Come on, sir... I'll take that. Coming, sir. Did you call me? I've been alone for 20 years, after Lajwanti's death. I have never missed female company in all these years. You have served me so well now, Lakshi! I don't think a wife would have taken so much of care! See that? My wife wants just what I wish for. You must take Lajwanti's place in this family now. We clash again! As if we were separated in our last birth! Jai's waiting for you. There! I've startled you! I always say he's not in and you say you know! And you say "You've told me" I've trapped you this time! He's not in! I know that. How did you know? You just told me so. Damn it! I'm trapped again! Laxmi! It's me...! When did you arrive from outside? I'm going out. But when did you arrive? I said I'm going out. Okay? Why have you locked that aunt in? Chachi's gone out. Impossible! I just saw her coming up the stairs! This thing about in and out is a long story, Haribhai. When aunt went upstairs... you saw her, I didn't. And both of us didn't see when I went upstairs. How could I see myself? I'm leaving, after all. But you're watching me climb down the stairs. But you saw aunt go upstairs, I didn't. And both of us didn't see her going downstairs. Right? Err? Right, all right. You'd rather take the left, and forget the right. Listen to me... Yes? I have something important to discuss with you. About the rent? Forget the rent! Forget it? Really? Sure. But I have a condition. You must do something for me. What is it? You know I've been alone since my wife died 20 years ago. I've never missed female company earlier... I've heard that one before! Damn these rickshaw-drivers! Now listen carefully... I always do. That woman and I... Which woman? Laxmi... I see my wife Mangala in her! She has the same eyes, same features... same gait! I swear! This is an action replay! Exactly! Everything about her is an action replay of my wife! My heart says that too! Get me my Laxmi! Please! If Aunt gets to know of this, she'd be really offended. Not at all! D'you know what she threw at me today? This! The box? That would break my head! She threw a rose at me! Did that fall on you? On my heart, actually. Now look; suppose you're walking down the street... But I'm standing here. Just suppose so! And a crow flying overhead drops excrement on your head. Just suppose so! Will you fall for the crow, too? What a rotten joke! A crow and Laxmi, eh? I'll throw you out! Just listen... She's terribly angry with Durgaprasad which is why she threw the rose at you. Durgaprasad? Now who the hell is that? I'm trapped... Her brother-in-law, eh? Not her brother-in-law. He's her husband. She said she was alone! Where did the husband spring from? He had left her? Left her where? A husband is no baggage to be carried around! He's left on a pilgrimage. That's wonderful! A thorn out of my path! But he will return. How's that? He has a return ticket. God! I'll have the railways cancel his ticket! I want Laxmi! I've no interest in life without Laxmi anymore! Has Kishan paid you his rent? Not in the last 6 months! Haribhai? I'm in a hurry... See you later. Look after my connection; I'll go after the collection! Who's throwing the litter around? That's no litter... Siraj! What are you doing here? And what's this? Have you left Grand Hotel? Yes. This set-up is my own. Have you bought it then? What's that? A Hindu name? What's in a name? One must serve tea, after all! Don't lie! Shut up! It's because of you that he got into trouble. Where'd he get the 5000 Rupees he paid your surety from? Speak the truth! Where did the 5000 Rupees come from? I wish I had. They caught me putting back the money! You should've told them that you're putting the money back! They didn't let me speak! They chased me and I ran! But this job is not for you! Ajob is a job, after all! I only have to earn my living. Yes. I miss the respect I got as a chef. Forget it! I was sick of the hotel-life anyway. I'm thinking of joining the movies now. Get me a role, will you? If I become a star, I will soon join politics. I could even become a minister soon after. You want to act, don't you? Of course! "Killing two birds with one stone" Wonderful! That's a great title for a film! I play the stone, all right. Who are the birds? You will play both the roles. A dual role? ! No. You will play a cook! A cook even in films? ! There are songs, I hope? You're going to the in-laws' place, not for a role. Why send me there? Will you have me released? Not the cop-house! My in-laws! They need a cook. Wow! My head on the block? ! But they're Brahmins! You must play a Hindu cook, although you're a Muslim! And cook what? Biryani? And paya? Remove the meat from the rice and the dish turns vegetarian. Don't worry. There's a woman working there, Aunt Laxmi. She'll take care if you tell her you're my friend. Folks there must be highly educated. If I speak... Only if you speak, that is. What does that mean? Is Babu your name? What was that "Ba" and "Bu"? Not numerology, is it? All he means to say is that he's been dumb since birth. I see. He lost his speech in an accident 20 years ago. But you just said he was born dumb! Yes. He could speak a little before the mishap but turned absolutely dumb after the accident. But he cooks well. He can prepare any vegetable dish. Will you cook anything I write and give you? Why write? The poor chap can't speak. But we can. And he's not deaf. What's the name? Shiraj (a Muslim name). I mean, it's Shivraj. (a Hindu name). And what does the other "S" stand for? Shivraj Sharma. He cooks well. Since you're a Brahmin, you must know the hymns! We want him to cook, not to perform a ritual for us! It's good to know, sir. You must've been reciting the hymns before the accident, right? The Gayatri Mantra, too? You can't speak, all right. But you must sing for us. Recite the Gayatri Mantra for us. That's enough. Employ him. But tell him that we're vegetarians... I don't want any flesh or fish in this household. What? He says let alone fish, not even a fly will enter the house! Right? Take him inside. Mr Sharma... Shivraj Sharma! Let's go in! Aunty...! Coming. Where are you? In here. Give me the towel. What are you staring at? What's wrong? It's been days, you know... Don't stay in the water for long. You'll catch a cold. What's wrong? Nothing. It's me. Please fasten this, please. What's your size, aunt? - 48 C. That sounds like a bus number! So much of junk! I can't find a thing in this drawer! What are you looking for? A safety pin! Remind me to clear out the mess tomorrow. - 5 kilos of gourd... that's what we call it here in Mumbai. What's going on over here? Today's the Karva Chauth. So? Women today fast for the long lives of their husbands. You should know all this. I do. But how am I concerned? Oh God! I thought you'd fast and pray... I've called so many other women over. Okay. I'll ask them to return. No. Let them be since they're here. But ask me before you do it next time. Tea? No. Juice? I want nothing! Can't I stay hungry for a day. I can't hear you... Just a minute. What's going on? What is it? I want to hear Macarena! Not now. We have guests. You can't be stubborn with me. Now quietly come downstairs. I'm ready. How do I look? You always look good. Why are you crying? Mom doesn't listen to me! Stop crying and tell me what you want. I want to listen to Macarena! There's going to be music here soon. Their music? Yuck! I want Macarena! Sing the song you sang the other day, aunty. Not today. I have an irritation in my throat today. No one sings a song when we assemble for it! Yes. Some can't sing and some have a bad throat. Sharma! You can't even speak! How will you sing? You sing a song, aunty. Yes. Sing for us, Laxmi. What was that? Pali or Sanskrit? Explain the meaning of the song to us, Laxmi. Very well. It was fun... I see you wearing that for the first time. You look great. Is it only for today, or... Don't get excited, aunt. What's a matrimonial necklace with so many others? Aunty... Yes? Yes? God! What have you done? "The lovers moustache tickles", doesn't it? I've shaved it! I can see what you want. You misunderstand, sir! This is... a cross-connection! What? Let me put it plainly. What you are dreaming of can never be true! But what are you scared of? Wouldn't you be scared if a man proposed to you? It's wrong. Cancel it! I've had it with Hari once! Who's Hari? Hart's my husband. But he's Godbole, isn't he? True but I'm married! Obviously. But you never spoke of it. I thought... He went away on a pilgrimage ten years ago. You never mentioned that. You never asked either. You just thrust a rose in my hand. What could I do? ! He's been away for 10 years. He won't return! What if he does? In that case I'll get you a divorce. Have you nothing else to do? We can wear as many rings as we want on our fingers. But women wear only one matrimonial necklace around their neck. Laxi! You're not in the mood! But that's all right. I'll await your answer. And I'll wait for my husband! ...my God! Aunty! Here comes the detective for you! Hey, wait...! I've got to follow the woman! Not the vehicle! Watch where you're going! Mister... does the dog bite? No. Out of my way...! You said it wouldn't bite! It's not my dog. Laxmi! Haribhai? ! Don't call me "bhai" (brother)! Anything else will do! All right. I have something important to say to you. Of course. Come inside... No. Keep walking... You gave me a rose, right? Did I? When did I? ! You gave it to Jai. And Jai... I get it. It's between us. Why drag Jaiprakash into this? All right, Hari... what's wrong? Your touch has awoken the music in me! That's the background score. Who was playing it? It happens in emotional scenes. Was it the radio? I've got to give you some news. Your husband is dead, isn't he? But don't worry... I'm willing to marry a "window"! Window? Aren't you a window now? ! It's Widow; not window. Never mind! But we will still meet! No. We will not. Two gardeners and a rose. What? ! Don't look back. But that man there... The chap with the blue shorts? Yes. Don't worry; the shorts won't fit him! That's his problem! So? He's been following me! Following you? ! Don't worry! I'll fix him! Keep this... Make a hole in this and have it. Okay? I'm secretary to Bhardwaj and Bhardwaj the name is Banwarilal Pandit. Have you seen the woman? Which woman? The well-endowed one. She was... Are you talking about Laxmi? You know her? You are God-sent! I am God-sent and I'll give you some of God's offerings now! You tease women in our area! Hey! What's wrong? Have you no womenfolk at home? How are you, Shantabai? Are they having a fight there? Yes. Which is why I've brought these coconuts for you. Make a hole in this and have it. I know that. But, aunt... My God! Now look... hear me out! Yawning like a princess, eh? Aren't you ashamed? What is this? A finger. What else? Acting smart! Here goes... That's one finger. How many are these? Two. And how many are these? Your finger is swollen! Naturally! I gave you a blow! But I won't spare you... Why are awakening me only to hit me? Will you realise it if you're bashed up unconscious? That explains it! No! Call the police! You're an ill-mannered man! No! What are you up to? ! The poor man will die! He teases women in our area! What nonsense? ! I'm glad you've come! Save me from this bear! You call me a bear? ! Relax... See that he doesn't move. Sit down there! What's up, sir? Do you know him? Who is he? I could tell you. But you won't believe me. Of course, I will! He's Laxmi's husband. Her husband? ! No! I can't believe that! But you just said you would! He says his name is Banwari. And you said her husband's name was Durgaprasad! Have I told you that, too? Are there two husbands then? Not two husbands. The husband has two names. Laxmi fondly addresses Durgaprasad as Banwarilal. I wouldn't know where to begin. All right. Brother's in deep shit. He's down, he's bleeding, and you gotta get there. But there's lights, right? All over the city, red lights. You go through the red lights. Sure, you fire up the roof, you wail, you go through the red lights. But that's slow, Freddy, fighting your way through traffic. The goal is perpetual motion. You want greens. But how do you ensure the greens? You can't. As in life, in traffic. So what you do is you leave yourself an out. At every corner, you leave yourself an alternative. You move diagonal. You turn the wheel when you hit a red light. You don't drive down Broadway to get to Broadway. If you move diagonal... you're gonna get perpetual motion. That's what you want. But how does this apply to what you were saying in there? It applies, Freddy! It's just as easy to tail a man walking in front of him. You butt heads with these friends of ours, you're gonna come at them head-on? - Okay. - They got lives, Freddy. Families. No. You move diagonal. You jag. Christ! Where the fuck are you guys? We're on our way- in 20. I'm down. But Joey, he's tryin' to hold on... but this big bastard, he cut me up. I need help! - He's a fucking monster! - I need your location, Tom! - I need an assist. - I can't move. I think he cut my tendon. What the fuck- Shit— You got a wife? You got a baby? Quit! Tell me you quit. I'll let you go. You can go home. Kiss your wife. Eat your baby's Fruit Loops and shit. You thank me, motherfucker. You're gonna be redeemed. Redeemed... Officer... Randone. Shit! Stupid— - You motherfucker! - Shit. It's the roof, Jack. That's a clusterfuck. You got units, send 'em in. I'll check the front. We don't know what's going on! Come on, come on. Son of a bitch! Please. No! Help! Help! In here! Joey's in trouble, Ray. Ray, let's just break the fuckin' thing down. Got it. God. His father is serving a life sentence for murder, murdering an ex-girlfriend... with a sawed-off shotgun back in 1988. The New York Times is quoting one friend of Royster as saying... that the guy had an IQ of 160. I need your help. They're tryin' to kill me. - Who? - "Who"? My friends tried to kill me. Ray Donlan tried to kill me. Shit! Holy shit! Speak of the devil! Freddy, forget it. I don't get this. This doesn't make any sense. Why'd they get Superboy off the bridge... to bring him back here and kill him? Ray had a plan... and it got very fucked up. You awake, Freddy? I feel like shit. Fuckin' allergies are killin' me. Hey. In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life... through our Lord, Jesus Christ... we commend to Almighty God our brother Joseph... and we commit his body to the ground. The Lord bless him and keep him. The Lord make His face to shine upon him... and be gracious unto him. The Lord lift up His countenance upon him... and give him peace. Honor Guard, retreat. - No, I don't know. - What the hell are you doing? - I just— I gotta— - What are you doing? - Call you back. - Excuse me. Moe, I apologize. He just walked in here. I'm sorry for rushing in like this, but you were right. They tried to kill him like you said, but he got away. Now he's runnin' through the woods. He's like a scared animal. He's scared to death. That motherfucker should be scared. His uncle got this case closed with one phone call. I'm sorry it took so long for me to come around, but you were right. I couldn't see the truth. Like you said, the evidence, my loyalty, they were confusing. They never give you any napkins in this place. What am I supposed to use? You want this? What is this? You came to me, to my town... with all these speeches, talking about doing the right thing. I'm doing the right thing. What's goin' on? What are you doing? That was like two weeks ago. Two weeks ago? - What about Babitch? - What about him? Fuck him. - What about Donlan? - Fuck him too. What about Joey Randone? He fell off a building. Don't you read the papers? Listen, Sheriff, I'm really sorry... to have awoken you from your slumber, but it's over. Hands are tied now. You shut me down. Listen to me. You're IA. That's why I came to you. You can do whatever you want. Remember you came to me, said, "You wanna be a cop?" I'm bein' a cop. - I offered you a chance. - I'm asking you for some help. I need to do something. I need to do this for myself. Listen, you deaf fuck. I offered you a chance. When we could have done something, I offered you a chance to be a cop... and you blew it! You blew it. You people are all the same. That cupcake makes a mess, we got a case again. The mob runs millions in drugs through their precinct... and everybody gets a nice house. Figgs is right. The mob owns this town. They closed the case, Freddy. - If they don't have the stomach for it— - They had to. It's circumstantial. You don't have anything either. All that stuff is illegal. You stole it. I know this guy. He's a corrections officer. They took care of Tunney when he was gonna talk. How come Figgis didn't do somethin' about it? He was Ray's right-hand man back then. Then they tried to kill Superboy. They were hiding him, Freddy. Then they burned down Figgsy's house when they think he might talk. You don't know that. We went over every inch of that house. Not everything is a hexagonal conspiracy. I think you been hangin' around Figgs too much. He's the only one getting cash out of that house... and he's totally playing you— just like those assholes in the city. And I'm sorry, but... there's nothing you can do about this. Yes, there is. I can find Superboy, and I can bring him in. I'm going back upstate. I want my old job back. I don't want any part of this. I don't want any part of this place. Come on, Cindy. Shit. Freddy. Look, I don't know about Ray, okay? But everyone in Garrison is not a murderer. No. They just keep their eyes closed and their mouths shut, just like me. Hey, Freddy. All right, thank you. Thank you. Thank you, sweetheart. I love you too. All right, terrific. - Two in the center? - No. Rules are different for cops. - I'm losin' my shirt here with you guys. - So what do I got to do? - Five out of six in the star. - Five out of six. - Hey, Freddy. - You a cop too? Yeah, yeah, I heard ya. Enjoy your trip to the big city? You gotta hit the next five to win. Shit! I just hope you're not trying to prove anything, Freddy. I know some of them are real assholes. They think they're high priests or somethin'. I don't know. But why would they do all this? Maybe they're doin' the right thing. Liz, I saw these pictures of Ray meeting with these guys. You know, like mobsters. Everyone's houses are financed by these mob banks. Says who? IA? Even you said Joey's death was no accident. Joey fell off a building, Freddy! Okay? I don't need this opened up. Maybe you do. I don't. All Joey wanted was a place for us to live. Who are you to judge that until you've walked in his shoes? Maybe that's what you're tryin' to do with me. What are you gonna do, Freddy? You gonna arrest the whole town? You goin' to New York to take "paint by number" cop lessons? You know, Ray likes you. That don't mean I'm gonna let you fuck him over. Ray Donlan gave you this job, Freddy. You forgot that? We made your sorry ass! So now you can do us a favor. You could tell us... where Superboy is. If I knew where he was, he'd be in the city already. You're gonna be hurtin', Freddy. You're not gonna know when, you're not gonna know where. You're gonna be hurtin'. You mark my words. I'm watchin' you! Hey. - You got your check. - Yep. Thanks to you, Freddy. Filing out those forms in such a timely fashion. You with Liz? Where you goin'? I don't know. My leave came, so I thought I'd look around for a new reality. You know? Anyway, I'm sure you could use your privacy, Freddy. No, no. Look all you want, Freddy. You're not gonna find anything. I took care of it. That lady cop from the Bomb Squad... got you the stuff to do this with, didn't she? You didn't know Monica was gonna be here. Did you, Figgs? No. Monica said she was going over to her friend's house to watch some pay-per-view. The thing was on a timer. I didn't know she was gonna be here, Freddy. It's all bullshit. You, Figgs, are the bullshit! Smarten fuckin' up! You even turned your back on Tunney when he needed your help! Figgs! I'm gonna find Superboy, and I'm gonna bring him in! And for once, everybody in this town's gonna tell the truth! - You gotta find him first, Freddy! - I'll find him. Listen to me. I got a check in my pocket for $200,000. I got a chance to start my life again. I don't give a shit about this town! I don't give a shit about that town. And I don't give a shit about your fucking justice! Bein' right is not a bulletproof vest, Freddy! Go on, Figgsy! Go on! Run away! Hey, Freddy. - Ray's not home. - I know. I'm lookin' for your nephew. I don't know where he is. Why the hell would I tell you if I did? Rose, I'm his only chance. Let's go. - You workin' with the feds? - No. - IA? - No. You're alone. Let's go. - Oh, shit. - All right. Get down. Get down. - Oh, shit. - And stay down. Shit. Bill, where are you? Bill, if you read, we're going back to the station. You gonna keep me in here? You gonna keep me in here with cuffs? - You don't know what you're doing, do you? - Shut up. You don't have a clue as to what the fuck is going on, do you, Sheriff? Bill, do you copy? Bill, do you read? - It's just club soda, Freddy. - Finish it. - Hey, Ray. - Hey, Freddy. I came to tell you I found Superboy... and I'm bringing him in tomorrow morning... and I'd like you to come with me. I owe you that much. He's a fugitive, Ray, and he's convinced you're tryin' to kill him. Just tell me where he is, Freddy. You got him at the station? Ray, there's gotta be a way out of this for everyone. So, I say why don't we all go in tomorrow together? Listen to me, Freddy. You know the difference between men and boys? Boys bet everything on everything. Boys think every hand is a royal flush. You play cards with a man, he knows his limits. Freddy, I invited men... cops... good men... to live in this town. And these men, to make a living, they cross that bridge every day... to a place where everything is upside down. Where the cop is the perp, and the perp is the victim. But they play by the rules. They keep their guns in their holsters... and they play by the rules. The only thing they did was to get their families out... before it got to them. We made a place where things make sense... and you can walk across the street without fear. And you come to me with a plan to set things right. Everyone in this city holding hands, singing "We Are the World. " That's very nice. But, Freddy, your plan is the plan of a boy. You made it on the back of a matchbook without thinking! Without looking at the cards. I look at the cards. I see this town... destroyed. That's not what you want, is it? I look at this town... and I don't like what I see anymore. Who the fuck do you think you are? The sheriff of Garrison, New Jersey. Then be the sheriff! Defend this town! Protect these men! Freddy, you got him at the station? Just drop the keys. A little too rich for my blood. Maybe they fell out of your pocket— or maybe Cindy's. Now, you go home and you sleep... and you wake up and you guide the traffic through this town... and everything will be the way it was. I'm taking him in tomorrow morning at 6:00. That's in a few hours. I'd like you to come with me, Ray. There's nothing I can say? Okay. Then 6:00 it is. Yeah. No, Lis. Who was he supposed to call? Ray knows everybody. What am I supposed to do? Let him go in alone? What? You know what? Okay, fine. Why don't you go home? I mean... I wanna be here for you, Freddy, but— Lisa's nervous, you know. She's pregnant. - I mean— - So, go on. I'll be fine. Yeah. You be careful, Freddy. Yeah. You too. Shut the fuck up! Would ya, please? Fuck! Come on. - Oh, shit! - Get down! - All right, you jackass. - I said get down, buddy. Jesus. You guys don't wanna do this. Jack. Don't shit in your pants, Freddy. He's not gonna kill ya. This is the good one, right? Oh, God! Oh, God! Move, move, move! God! All right, hit it, Jackie. Hit it, Jack! Jesus Christ! You fuck! Freddy! I can't hear you, Ray. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey. What're you doin'? Excuse me, Lieutenant. Come on, guys, it's cool. Everything's cool. Everything's cool. Everything's cool. Come on. Everything's cool. - Please move. - Where the hell are you goin'? Please move! Holy shit! Wait. Guys, guys. Beat it. Beat it. Everything's fine. Everything's fine. It's cool. - Hey, hey, hey, hey! - What the fuck? Come on, Freddy. Everything's cool. Everything's fine. - Wait. Where do you think you're goin'? - Call EMS. Call EMS. Come on, fellas. Back up. Back up. Back up. Back up. - He can't hear. - Rubens, take him. - Hey, hey, it's all right. It's okay. It's okay. - They blew out his ear. It's all right. It's all right! It's okay. It's okay. Come on. Go on, Freddy. Come on inside. Come on. So Gary Figgis copped a plea. Gave up the connection between Ray, the PDA and the mob. There were a shitload of indictments. And the sheriff, Freddy Heflin— You know, there's people on both sides of the river wish he never recovered. They cursed the day he took down Ray Donlan. But what they don't know, he figured out: No one is above the law. Four cops dead, and one dead cop resurrected. In a bizarre twist, Murray "Superboy" Babitch sits alive and well in a holding cell— Sheriff Fred Heflin apprehended Babitch single-handedly. ...he will be recovering the hearing in his good ear, so that's good news. Files were seized this morning— Officer Gary Figgis testified about mob influence and bribery. Three months since the shoot-out in Garrison, New Jersey... reputed mob boss Toy Torillo has been indicted on four counts of racketeering. An unidentified corrections officer was arrested today... for the murder three years ago of Officer Glenn Tunney. I understand Jim Allen is with the mayor. Do you want to go back to him? [ Man ] back in the '70s, every cop wanted out of the city. but the only cops allowed to live outside New York were transit cops. because the Transit Authority was also run byJersey and Connecticut. So these guys I knew at the 3-7... they started pulling overtime at subway stations... and got the city to declare them "auxiliary transit cops. " They bought some land in Jersey. Got some cheap loans from people they knew. They made themselves a place where the shit couldn't touch 'em. Every precinct has its "cop bar, " a private club, all blue. For the 3-7, it was the 4 Aces... just across the river. [ Video Game Noises ] [ Tires Screeching ] [ Gunshots ] This Armenian guy, he's from the other side over there. He tells her that she's dead. Right? She's gonna be dead by morning. - So he drops this box off at her place, right? - They call you guys. - They call Bomb Squad. - Right. We go in there. We x-ray it on scene. - And, uh, we can't see anything in there. - [ Man ] Right. I cut a little hole in it. I can see there's something in there. [ Man ] Uh-huh. I, uh, I see that there's, uh, some white fuzz. There's something pink. I can't figure out what it is. - Suddenly I realize I am looking at a tongue. - Ah, shit! A big, fat tongue sticking out at me. Yes. The guy put a goat's head in there. [ Man ] This at the end of the twentieth century. H.G. Wells, he'd turn over in his grave to think at the start of a new millennium... - [ Man ] some Iranian guy-- - [ Woman ] Armenian. Armenian guy. Some Armenian would be delivering' a goat's head to the door of the woman that he loved. - Backward culture over there. - Let me tell you. We're all backwards, berta. - Our machines are all modern and shit, but our minds? - Gary. Our minds are primitive. Our minds are primitive, Berta. - Hey. - I gotta go home, baby. All right, wait. I'm just waitin' on the call, okay? Come here. - I gotta pick up the car. This is not-- - Monica, sit down. Excuse me. Do you mind? - Do you mind? - Sorry. Roberta, that's Freddy. Freddy's cool. He's got a bad ear. He'd good people though. Don't worry about it. [ Video Game ] You have no authority. [ Video Game ] You have no authority. Yeah, yeah. Fine. [ TVIndistinct ] It's quiet tonight, huh, Freddy? Hmm? It's quiet. Everyone's at that bachelor party across the river. Oh, yeah. Whoop-de-doo. You got any quarters? Don't look at me, I just put two more in the meter. - It's his birthday. - [ Figgis ] Oh,yeah? - He's going for high score. - Happy birthday, Freddy. Happy Birthday. Let me see what I got. I wasn't into making a big deal after the ten-year thing. Hey, hey, how you doin'? Sorry, Freddy. Hey. [ Figgis ] I was wondering if you'd be able to, uh, come by. Yeah. 4 Aces. Where else? Shit! Damn it. Two kinds of people in this world. Pinball people and video game people. You, Freddy, you're pinball people. Always got somethin' to say, Figgsy. Come on. Freddy, Freddy, Freddy. Freddy! Freddy! Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. It's bedtime, Sheriff. - You all right to drive? - Mm-hmm. - You sure? - Positive. - Take it easy, Freddy. - Take it easy. [ Radio ] It was not Lady Luck thatJim Maloney found in Atlantic City. It was the cops. The 30-year-old native of the Caribbean island of Antigua... was captured in a casino just days after an aspiring rap artist... was fatally beaten in a Queen's convenience store. Sources have filled in some of the blanks for 1 0 1 0 WINS saying-- Shit! [ Music, Chattering ] Oh! All right. Take it easy, take it easy. I apologize. Magilla Gorilla, you fucking ape. - Mikey, I'm out. I'm gettin' outta here. - Where're you goin'? - I love her. - Yeah! Hell of a party! - Roger. - Okay, Superboy. You're my man, Superboy. - My man, Roger. - Keep it up. You guys take it easy. Davey, can you dispose of this legally please? I don't like bachelor parties. See you back in Jersey. Oh! Oh. Oh! Ooh-oof. Shit! [ Man Groaning ] [ Coughing ] Goddamn it! [ Gagging ] [ Gagging ] [ Coughing ] Ah, fuck.! Shit.! [ Coughing ] You have the fuckin' wrong stuff here. Ah,Jesus! Frankie? Jesus Christ! What are you guys doin'? You're giving me a heart attack over here. Hey, Superboy, what'd ya say, kid? - You all right,Jackie? - Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah? All right, I'll see you guys tomorrow, man. You're like creepers back here. [ Frank ] Thanks, kid. be careful driving, huh? [ Radio ] Giants leading 1 0 to 6 as they move to the bottom of the seventh inning... in a game characterized by big rallies. The Giants scored seven times in the first inning off- ---[ Car Radio; -Rap ] - Well, fuck! - The Yankees lost to the Angels today. Hey.! Pull over. N.Y.P.D. Pull over! Hey, you hear me? Pull over! No! [ Laughing ] [ Brakes Squealing ] Fuck! Shit! Fuckin' cocksucker! [ Screams ] ----[ Rap Continues ] Freddy? [ Sirens Wailing ] Traffic incident? Bullshit! Hey, what's up, man? These guys were shot like six times. Hey,just shut up, do your fucking job! - Fucking nurse. - What've you got? I got four vials of crack here and a pipe. That's it. Russell, what you're thinking, swallow it. The guy saved five babies out in Redhook, all right? That's right, black babies. Mashed potatoes don't mean gravy. - I'm on the bridge. - [ Man On Phone ] Is Babitch there? - Yeah. I see him. - Take care of it. [ Superboy ] Uncle Ray? Uncle Ray, I saw a gun. I saw the gun. He took a shot at me. Tell 'em. They took a shot at me. [ Man ] Stay here with us. Tunney didn't even get the grand jury for shit like this. Fuck the G.J. You're Superboy, huh? You saved, what? Six black babies? Come on, kid, the shit plays! - Three babies. - Hey, one at a time, please. I got P.A. on another channel, the mayor's office, assistant D.A. Press up the yin-yang. The only reason they're not here now... is we got gridlock from across Bronx to the Palisades. There's no gun. You didn't see it,Jack? You can't find it? - Flaky. - Listen, I heard a shot. I heard a shot, Ray. - I heard a shot. I saw a gun. - In my trunk, in the grand union bag. - I heard a shot, Leo. - The kid had a steering wheel lock in his hand. Your tire blew. You're fucked up and you wasted a pair of shit-bags... who aren't worth the hair in the crack of your ass. So you cool it with the patty-cake morality. Because without me, kid, those stiffs'll put you in a room... - where you will fuck your uncle and everything he's built. - Hey, Leo. The black van's gonna be here in a minute and I haven't done shit.! - What I'm doing is highly-- - Sympathetic. - [ Leo ] Yeah, damn right. - It is. - Ray, we don't have to do this. - [ Ray ] Calm down. Fuck, Ray! Ooh, baby! Hey, we got it. - Look at that, huh? We got it! - Yo,yo,yo,yo. - What the fuck are you doin', man? - I found their piece. - Found their piece? - Ah,Jesus! - That wasn't in there. - What do you mean it wasn't in? It was underneath the floor mat. Bullshit, man. You can't do that! Shut the fuck up! Do what? It was underneath the fucking floor mat. What the fuck are you doing? Fuck you! I told you not to do it like this, Ray. - We'rejust doin'ourjob, so let's just calm down. - I told you! - [ Everyone Shouting ] - [ Leo ] Take it easy. Hey.! You boys should take care of your own business here. Take my fucking shield away from me. - Hey, put it down! - What? You gonna shoot me? - Put it down, Chico! - Chico this, motherfucker! - Frankie, Help me start it up. - [ Medic ] What the fuck you gonna do? Kiss my ass! [ Shouting ] Fuck! [ Shouting Continues ] Hey,Jack,Jack,Jack. Hey, hey, hey, hey. [ Ray ] Oh, my God.! Oh, my God! Leo! Leo! Jesus! He jumped! Oh, my God.! Hejumped.! - He jumped! - [Jack ] Murray? Somebody shine a light down there. He just hit the water and... he went down. - Davis? Where's Davis? - Oh! - [ Leo ] I want aviation, harbor. I want some illumination now! - Stupid, fucking kid! - Oh, my God! - We got a man over the fucking G.W.! [ Alarm Clock Ringing ] [ Ringing Stops ] [ Sighs ] How long is the car gonna take? Lenny won't know till the parts guy gets in. You should take number two. What did you tell Lenny about the accident? - Chasin' a speeder. - What? Sheriff was chasin' a speeder. [ Laughs ] [ Radio ] Our top story on 1 0 1 0 WINS;- A fatal shootout on the G. W.b. and a cop's suicide. Highway Patrol continues searching the Hudson River for the body of Officer... Murray "Superboy"babitch. - babitch leaped off the George Washington bridge last night... - Hey, hey, put it out. - an apparent suicide, after engaging in a high-speed chase. - Fuck you, asshole. There's no way that guy jumped, man. - There's no fucking way! - Controversy swirls around events on the bridge. [ Man ] Officer, how can you testify... that Superboy jumped off that bridge when you didn't see him jump? I mean, I'm looking at your statement right here... that you filled out at 0200 hours. Wait a minute. I'm gonna object because we went through this. [ Lawyer ] Now, he's been up all night. How many times are you gonna ask the same question? Let me ask you another question, brother. Have you ever been to Garrison, New Jersey? - What kind of question is that, Lieutenant? - Counselor. Have you ever been to Garrison, New Jersey? - You think those white boys on that bridge-- - Come on, Lieutenant. - Please. I object to this! - What do you think this is, Mod Squad? - [ Lawyer ] I'm offended by this. - [ Men Arguing ] All right, all right! All right, listen. He doesn't tell us what we want to know, he's gonna lose his job. That's about as simple as I can make it. He's gonna lose his fuckin'job. All right? Do you want that? What do you take us for? A bunch of fuckin' morons, huh? - What is the matter with you? - With all due respect, I think-- - You be quiet, you be quiet! Shut up! - I believe-- If you don't mind my French, all right? You be quiet. He's off the force if he does not start answering questions. You want to save your ass? Start giving us answers. And I'll tell you something. We know anyway. So do yourself a favor, and stop fuckin' around. [ E.M.S. Officer ] Yo.! Hey.! - We gonna talk or what, man? - When your rep gets here. - Fuck the rep. I gotta talk to you. - When your rep gets here. Rueben, can you call E.M.S. about this guy? Yeah. Hey, Moe, Harbor found one of Superboy's shoes. What about the socks? They find them too? Fuckin' shoe. Jack Rector's comin' in tomorrow at 9:00. - What about Donlan? - Uh, next week. - His P.D.A. attorney says-- - Who's that? Who's his lawyer? - This guy Sloan. - Sloan? Ooh, big gun. Says he's grieving and all depressed for his nephew. Oh, Ray's all grieving and depressed. [ Laughs ] I'll bet he is. If Superboy is alive... he's the fuckin' plague right about now. You're not gonna bring that home. I mean,you don't shit where you eat, do you? I do, Carson. I live in a house and in it I shit... and I eat. [ Beeps ] [ Beeping ] It's Grotto. [ beeps ] [ Fast beeping ] - [ Ray ] Murray, get down. - [Jack ] It's Freddy's new girl. Cover yourself. - Hi. Could you turn your engine off for me? - I got the air on. - You on the job? - No. We're comin' from Forest Hills. I'm John McEnroe. That's Jimmy Connors. Is your license in there? Can you pull it out for me, please? - This is a school zone. - Christ! Listen, Miss Betts. You're new, right? Yes, I'm new here, but I'm not new on the job. - I was... - Freddy! - a municipal deputy in Elmira. - Freddy! [ Ray ] You see, Officer, in Garrison... when the car you're gonna tag has got a P.D.A. sticker... I'd advise you to think to yourself, ""Hey, that's one of the good guys. I think I'll go catch me a bad guy." If we didn't pull over P.D., there wouldn't be any violations in this town. The problem in this town ain't the people that live here. It's the element that visits. Is this a new car, Ray? It's nice. We didn't recognize it. Come on, Freddy, I wanna go home. Tell this cupcake to heel. - Okay, that's not necessary. - Cindy. - Well, listen, take care, guys. See you later. - [ Ray ] Hey.! - What happened to you, Freddy? - [ Chuckles ] Fender benders. She's kinda cute. [ Phone Ringing ] - [ Ringing ] - Dispatch. Hi! Can I call you back? bye. - You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. I got it. [ Phone Ringing ] Dispatch. No, no. That's the next town over. You called Garrison. Right. The town with all the police. What are you gonna do with Superboy? You gotta stash him someplace. - We lie low. - [ bell Rings ] Hey, Moe! Hey, Ray. - Sorry to hear about your nephew. - Yeah, he was a good kid. We were up all night with it. [ Ray ] I know you need to talk to me. I'll come in next week sometime. How's that? - jackie here's comin'in early for you. Tomorrow. - Hi,Jackie. Moe Tilden. Yeah, hey. - Moe Tilden. - Yeah. Frankie Lagonda. - [ Moe ] What house? - Out of the 3-7. - You been there long? - Maybe too long, huh? - Too long. Right. - Moe, here, was my classmate at the academy. Back in the day... before he fell in love with this redhead at I.A. and transferred. Is that how it went, Ray? [ Laughing ] So what brings you to our fair city? Checkin' up on us? I heard there was a way of life out here. Thought I'd check it out for myself. What are we, uh, like the Amish now? [ Laughing ] See you around. You fuckin' rat. [ Boys Arguing, Fighting ] Ah, shit! [ Arguing, Fighting Continues ] - I thought you gave me a ticket. - Hmm? - You the sheriff? -[ Glass Shattering ] - I thought you gave me a ticket. - One second. [ boys Arguing ] Hey, hey, Gordon, that's it. Knock it off. Let him go. - [ boy ] Asshole.! -Just let him go. Everyone go down to the park. Go on. Go on before I kick your ass. Get on! Sorry. How long you been a sheriff? - Ten years. Yes, I just needed to... What you need is a way to persuade a court that you didn't kill your bloody wife. That's what we all need. And Alec can't do it for you on his own. I'll get my head round it tomorrow, it's not been easy, Fiona. Everything's easy for you. It's not for us. What do you think all this is going to do to Simon and Lucy? You might not have produced your own children, but you could think about ours. James, we're all upset, Fiona doesn't mean it. Yes I do. Fiona, we must stick together as a family, that's what matters, try and imagine how James is feeling. Don't you ever get sick of apologizing for him? Handbag didn't give us much. Plenty of bills, clothes mostly, a hotel. There is a diary. Any revelations? No, she didn't write down much. A few initials. Sometimes Sheridan, along with the initials of a hotel, sometimes just the hotel's BA, the Bedford Arms, a place near Oxford. The Hotel bill's from there. Sheridan says that's where they went. Yeah well, far enough away not to be noticed by anyone, I suppose. Is that it? The hotel bill's for a meal and a room. The only odd thing is it's dated ten days before the murder. Sheridan said he hadn't seen her for three weeks. Right. All right, get round there and get it sorted. Barr's lawyers are going to use Sheridan to cast doubt on our evidence. You tell him his wife's not interested in how many times he was at it just that he was at it. I want his story straight. Oh, by the way, if I don't see you later, have a good evening. Is that a 'pointed remark'. I don't know what you mean. Good, because if I get one more knowing bloody look from anyone in this station, I'm going to recommend your transfer to uniform. Charlie? Jack Frost. Fine no fine, how are you? Listen, I've got to have a word with you. Father will you hear my confession. I was just about to lock up. I've got to talk to someone. CID is a plain clothes detective. So what sort of things do you detect, Jack. Stolen cars, burglaries? You name it, I do it. I don't guarantee to catch anyone though. Unfortunately, that's all too true, isn't it. I beg your pardon? We're told how hard the police work. But all we ever hear is, no resources. Yeah well... And when the people get caught the judges always seem to be on the side of the criminal. Even if you try to protect yourself, you're the one who's most likely to end up in jail. We're not even safe in our own homes now. No that's true, especially if you consider rape or murder. There you go, even the police admit it. Do you realize that most women are raped by people they know. And most people are murdered by people they know. So statistically, you're safer with a complete stranger. Discipline and complaints. Open up. Now! What are you doing to my guests, Jack? No one's drinking. They've all brought their cars. You should have warned them in advance that I was a copper. But then of course we might have been alone. Would you get me some more orange juice, it's in the fridge. Yes ma'am. Thank you. Oh, dear, this is no way to do it. I should have known better. What? Well, I wanted to see you on my own. To talk, not about anything in particular, but without, I don't know, without feeling there were things about myself I couldn't say. But I lost my nerve and invited, it was like looking up the recipe for disaster and doubling the quantities. Well then, next time cut down on the invitations. I wanted you to carve. Yes, of course, right. What's that? Oh excuse me. That's you getting me excited, that is. My bleeper. Oh, I don't believe this. All right, what's going on. I just got an urgent call. Discipline and Complaints walked in here half an hour ago. I tried to get hold of Mr. Mullett. That's what it's about. It's the soap. They caught up with him at last. Jack, they're in your office. Inspector Frost, we've met once before. All right, cut the introductions. What's this all about? I'm Detective Superintendent Bailey. This is DI Moore. We're investigating a number of matters relating to CID at the old Shepley Station during nineteen eighty-five and six. One of the cases concerns the murder of Harriet Barr. Strangely the files are on your desk. I've just charged James Barr with the murder of his second wife. I'm in the middle of an investigation, so get out of my office. This is my investigation. Precisely, the other way round. You are suspended from duty, effective immediately. You will surrender your warrant card. You will leave this office and this station. You will talk to no one and take nothing with you. You will make yourself available for interviews as and when required. Inspector, I talked to James Barr last night. He came in for confession. Oh, well I hope he feels better. Did he confess to the murders of both Mrs. Barr's or was is just the most recent one? Still, I don't supposed he mentioned the first one as he was absolved last time round. I'm trying to help. I listened to him talk about his marriages, his job, his family. All kinds of stuff. He's not had it as easy as you'd think. And he's not a man with murder in his heart. He's a killer. Maybe twice. Anyway if he needs a character reference, I'll send his solicitors around to see you, shall I? Here's the confession, the man in the confessional you wanted me to write it down. Right, thank you. Listening to James last night in the confessional, I know it wasn't his voice I heard. So he didn't drop round to tell you what he was going to do. He's not as daft as we thought, is he? Anyway Father, I'm off the case. I'm under investigation for falsifying evidence. One confession too many you might say. You don't have to uproot yourself, Sergeant, you'll be working in here. I've taken what I need, sir. Then you can bring it back. It's an order, not a suggestion. I'm sorry you've all been moved. This is now Discipline and Complaints. Off-limits to Denton CID. Don't bother. I've heard it all and I'm not impressed. If Inspector Frost's clean, then the quicker we get on, the sooner he'll be back. And as far as the investigation into the murder of Jeanette Barr is concerned it may be relevant to what we're looking at. So it's no longer a Denton job. I'll be taking over. Sergeant Toolan will be attached to D and C. Now hang on a minute, sir. Order not suggestion. Superintendent Bailey has cleared it with your chief. There's no shortage of loose ends to tie up. Starting with Sheridan. Sort out whether he saw her ten days before her death at the Bedford Arms. He still says he didn't. If there's a hole in his evidence, James Barr's lawyers might pull their boy through. I know, sir, Inspector Frost... Is off the case. Remember it. This place is in chaos. They're shifting CID out en masse. What they're doing is setting up is a station within a station. No one is to go in there. Including me. Not very good for Denton's image is it, sir? The image of the station is not my chief concern right now. What about you? What have you done about representation? Someone from the Federation maybe? A solicitor perhaps? No that's not my style. Jack, try and keep your style... Under control? I don't always like the way you do things but whatever our disagreements, I have the highest regard for your integrity. And I shall be making that clear at the highest level. Don't try too hard, sir. (Knock on door) Yes! Mr. Mullett, I'd like to make a start, with Inspector Frost. Yes, superintendent? I am concerned that Inspector Frost has no communication with any officers here. Are you telling me that when one of my senior officers is suspended I can't speak to him? It makes it tidier. Let me remind you, Superintendent, that this is my station. I have a responsibility for the people who work here, and I intend to ensure that Inspector Frost feels he's being treated properly. I expect your investigation to be conducted by the book. And you can rest assured, I know that book very well indeed. In the middle of a current murder investigation,. you spent four hours yesterday looking for files on Harriet Barr and Michael King. A case that was wound up ten years ago. Yes, well, when I've got something on my mind, I deal with it. Harriet Barr's death was on my mind. So having found the files, you then went to see ex-Chief Superintendent Fairclough. Yes, because I found a statement that contradicted evidence from a main witnesses against Michael King. Do you know why this piece of evidence didn't reach the courtroom? No. Well, you say it wasn't in the file that went to the DPP, but in another file, where it had apparently sat, quite undisturbed, for nearly ten years. Yes. But, when I entered your office Steven Mitchell's statement was on your desk. As I told you, I found it in an envelope that was hidden in the back of the file. I spoke to Mitchell this morning. Yes, I'd have done the same thing myself. At Chief Superintendent Fairclough's suggestion? What? Mr. Mitchell remembers all this very well. He remembers coming forward to make his statement. He also remembers being told he wouldn't be required to give evidence. When he queried this, he was told to forget he saw Michael King on the night of Harriet Barr's murder. Unless he wanted to go down for a couple of years too. And who told him that? Inspector Pearson. Oh Come on, there's a bandwagon rolling here, isn't there. Let's get Michael King out of prison and do a couple of coppers at the same time. All we know at the moment is, we've got to ask James Barr some questions, also there's some questions to be asked about unreliable evidence. Now I don't know why Inspector Pearson chucked out Mitchell's statement. He may have a good reason to have done so. But I tell you this, you can accuse Pearson of anything because we buried him last week. That's as may be, Inspector, if I was worried about a bit of iffy procedure, that might be just about to resurface as a miscarriage of justice making sure it wasn't there wouldn't be a bad move. But it was me that was opening up the case on James Barr's first wife. When you found conflicting evidence why not go straight to your senior officer? I did. And both Mr. Mullett and I agreed that the death of Jeanette Barr raised doubts on the earlier investigation. I'm talking about the point at which you located this conflicting evidence evidence you say you knew nothing about at the time. Yes that's right. And I still say... You didn't attempt to contact either your DCI or the Chief Superintendent. Instead you went to see your old guv'nor. Yes. Yes, I went to see what he remembered. The detectives in Chief Superintendent Fairclough's firm were all very loyal to him. How far do you take that loyalty, Inspector? Charlie Fairclough was one of the best detectives this county's ever seen. He put away more serious villains than you've had ladders in your tights. In the days when men were men and women did the typing and made the tea. Just a turn of phrase, ma'am. Yes well, try this turn of phrase, Inspector. There's more than one dubious conviction down to your old guv'nor. I'd have liked to keep this investigation out of sight until I was ready on all of them, but I've been forced to move. Just like you. So this case comes first. But don't worry, you were around for some of the others. And so was your friend, George Ayre. The man who saw Michael King in Shepley at ten o'clock. You might be surprised just how often his evidence puts people away in Charlie Fairclough's cases. Then again you might not. (Phone ringing) Charlie? I thought they'd have told you not to speak to me. Superintendent Bailey's not going to be amused. Yes, well it's not the first time I've disobeyed an order to get to the truth and that's what you're going to tell me, the bloody truth. The King case is down to two conflicting sightings. One from his mate, a thief. The second from a thief who wasn't his mate. There's a bigger smell. I know what Michael King was. Can you remember a single thing that said King did not kill Harriet Barr? I mean have you got James Barr confessing to it? They've had a word with George Ayre, at Strangeways. The same George Ayre you couldn't place last time I mentioned him. It was his evidence that sent Michael King down and he's sticking to his story. Why shouldn't he? Charlie that Ms. Bailey is a clever detective. She's had a word with George's missus, of course she thinks very highly of you. She told her you often slip her fifty quid you know, just to help out. You run a pension fund for all your old grasses? George did me some favors. Oh yeah. Charlie, do you know something? You were the one man who persuaded me that this job was worth doing. And when crap piles up, I remember what it's like to work with a real copper. I respected you too much then so smell a fit up. But I certainly smell one now. Jack, you know what's happened to the force. Sorry, 'service'. The Mulletts have inherited the earth. The villains are walking out of court with grins all over their faces, ready to sue any copper that breathed on them. You don't get results without getting your hands dirty. Now the rules say you're on a charge if you've got dirty fingernails. All right, save your long speeches for your memoirs. What about the villians we can't touch? The ones having lunch with their stockbrokers when there's a murder, or an armed robbery, or a ton of coke going through the docks? I got a lot of those people sent down, Jack. Our guv'nor thanked us for it, remember? The Politicians thanked us for it. And the good citizens slept easier in their beds. So some of the evidence wasn't kosher. In that case the copper who set it up shouldn't complain when he finds himself on the slab. I was doing what everybody wanted us to do. Putting villains behind bars. And don't tell me you've never moved a bit of evidence where it might do some good? All right, All right so I did bend the rules occasionally but I never broke them and threw all the bits away. That Michael King? Come on, he was hardly a crime boss, was he? A killer. When he walked from that GBH, he made us look stupid. He made you look stupid. There was no need to fit him up for murder. What are they going to do to me, Jack? Stop inviting me to reunion dinners? They might have to kick somebody out for the press and the do-gooders. You'll do. Do you know, there's never a day goes by without a gaze out the window and wonder what I'm going to do with what's left. The job was everything. Even with a family. Now I'm just filling in time. What have you got, Jack? A medal in a drawer. I should think hard before you hold your hand up for the sacrificial lamb. You know where I live. Always keep your door locked, George. People get mugged this way. Jack, you know I'm not allowed to talk to you. I don't want to be landed in it. Well, neither did I, did I? But I am, right up to my neck. I didn't ask to work with them. No, but I'm bloody glad you are. Come on, what's green mean, green, green.... Sheridan's adamant that he wasn't at the hotel that day. He was at home with the wife. A very handy missus for alibis. So how was Superintendent Bailey? Well, I'd like to be able to say that she's every sort of cow under the sun, but unfortunately I think she's quite a good copper. Now that Mrs. Sheridan gave quite a good performance as a woman scorned, and she's his only alibi. She was dodgy once you'd better check the hotel. I have. I've been on the phone. The manager clearly knew Mrs. Barr, and Sheridan by sight. The description of the man she was with that day is a bit hazy, but it wasn't Sheridan. What about the bill? I've got it here somewhere, I think. Here we are. It's for a meal, and a double room for the night, he thinks they left by six that evening. Oh well, thank you very much George, well done. What? Well so far all you've given me is she could be having bloody lunch with her bank manager. Anyway I'd rather see the real thing, this is a photocopy. I know but that's what was in her bag. That's interesting. James Barr, what do you think of him? Oh, I don't know, Father Sullivan's a bit concerned but. This is dead as far as DI Moore is concerned, isn't it? I think I'll keep it. Jack, if I were you I'd stay out of this. Well thank goodness you're not me, George. Just take it easy. Yeah I think I will. I think in fact, I'll take it very easy tomorrow. I might go for a drive in the country. Stop off somewhere you know, have a spot of lunch. I hope everything was satisfactory, sir. Very nice. The waitress told me you were asking for some information about guests who have stayed here. I have to say that we are not in the habit of discussing our guests with all and sundry. The Bedford Arms has a reputation as one of the best... Yes well most hotels I know who rent rooms by the afternoon have a reputation as a knocking shop. I'm a policeman. Sit down. Perhaps we could um... Perhaps we could take a walk, or... Yes, just as you like. If someone books a room for the night, and checks out early, it's hardly my business. There are emergencies. Mr. Ragdale, and Jeanette Barr's been coming here over a period of months with a man she was having an affair with. They left at six o'clock every evening, now what do you call that, a predictable emergency? If you have the information you want, I really don't see the point of this. I spoke to your Sergeant yesterday about Mrs. Barr's last visit here. With a different man. Yes. Obviously I was as shocked as anyone by news of Mrs. Barr's tragic death. Yes, I bet you were. I bet she was a good tipper, wasn't she? Did Mrs. Barr usually ask for a copy of the bill? No. But she did on this occasion. Now Mrs. Barr's only slightly less disorganized than I am. Why would she want a copy of the bill when she's already got the original? Mrs. Barr always settled the account herself, but on this occasion the gentleman did, cash. She asked me to give her a copy of the bill when they left that afternoon, without the gentleman knowing. Really? Thank you, Mr. Ragdale. May the Lord be with you. And with Thy Spirit May almighty God bless you, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Go in peace to love and serve the Lord. Thanks be to God. Hello, I've been looking at this confession you gave me. Doesn't say very much, does it? Ever thought of getting advice on your mood swings, Inspector? Hmm? So, you're back on the case? No, no, I'm still suspended. This bit's a bit interesting, 'Salva me, fons pietatis'. Latin is it? Yeah, 'pietatis' it's from the old funeral mass. 'Save me, O source of pity'. Something like that. I didn't think you did that any more, did you? Yes, it must be somebody with a very long memory, or someone who spends a lot of time listening to Verdi's Requiem. But no, it's not what you'd expect. From James Barr? No. Tell me something, Father. What makes you think that James Barr didn't do it? You see I can't speak to anyone, I can't speak to my officers or any of the witnesses and that includes James Barr. But I know he talked to you the other night for a long time about all sorts of things. James knows nothing about the murder. And he's genuinely appalled that the death of his first wife's being investigated again. I'd like to know what he said. Exactly what he said. Look, you know I'm trying to help, that doesn't mean I can just go and repeat his confession. I can get suspended too, you know. The other day you were pouring out guilt after someone came in and asked forgiveness because they were going to kill someone. Well, maybe, they went out and did just that, I don't know, maybe you should have said something to stop them. I don't know. I'll tell you what I do know, James Barr is probably going to go to prison. Now if you have a reason why he shouldn't, you'd better decide whether you're going to help me find the truth or not. Hello Sister Agnes Hello Father. So this is where they park all the old priests, is it? Yeah, before I got to priest college I thought they just beamed us straight up. The church has a job retiring us. You lose your parish, you lose your family. They say it happens to you in your late forties. What celibacy really means, not sex, but a woman that you love, that you're going to grow old with, kids. Yes, well you don't have a monopoly on that. Father Clarke, this is Inspector Frost. How do you do, Father? You're the policeman, who wants to know what people say in confession. Well, I have to tell you, it's none of your business. Are you a Catholic? No. They that say ignorance is no excuse in the eyes of the law, it's no excuse in the eyes of the Lord either. Yes. Father, I don't suppose... I gather that what Father Sullivan wants me to talk to you about, is something that was said to him in confession, but it wasn't said to me in confession. Not that I have any idea what was said to Father Sullivan. But if we haven't too much idea what we're talking about, well there can't be any sin in that. We'd like some tea, for the whisky. About James Barr, Father. James was an altar boy, when I could get hold of him, he always had something infinitely more interesting to do. His wife said he was a bit, well a bit obsessive about his religion. You're saying but not when he was a kid thought? At eleven this world is infinitely more interesting than the next. What about his brother? Alec. Yes. Alec. He was the religious one. That's right. I put him in the choir. I had to find something for him to do. I felt uncomfortable with all his piety. A boy at that age should be looking for mischief, not telling his rosary. What you're saying was James didn't want to know about the church, yet you couldn't get Alec out of the place. Surely you've got that the wrong way round? I was booked in for senility, but it hasn't come through yet, Inspector. But I do need more prompting things are starting to get a little vague. So how did they get on together, James and Alec? There were problems. I think the Barrs were having financial difficulties. It all hit Alec very hard. And his behavior was difficult, very difficult. What happened Father? He became very jealous of his brother. It started with toys being broken, books torn up. And I believe James's pet was killed. Then he set light some clothes, and gutted James' bedroom. It was all very hard for the family. How long did this go on for? Well Alec spent some time at a special school. He came back a spotty adolescent, but still with too much piety and not enough faith, and healthily more interested in girls than what his brother was up to. Go on, was there still something wrong. He made a point of taking James's girlfriends off him. But he grew out of it eventually. He'd still sneak into confession if he felt he'd done something bad, thinking I wouldn't know who it was. And always insisting that I conduct the proceedings in Latin. Thanks for coming, Charlie. Yes, well, that doesn't mean there's anything to say. Are you off to see Ms. Bailey? That's right. And I'm not going to say much to her either, practically nothing in fact. No, you've just got to keep your mouth shut that's all. That's about the size of it. You and Alec Barr. You really believe he did it? Twice, Charlie, twice. This is where we found Jeanette Barr's body. You used to return to the scene of the murder, remember. I often do it. You know, these investigations they can drag on for months, years sometimes. You tend to loose sight of what it's all about, how it all started. It started with a real man or woman, a body whose life has been beaten out of it. That's why we're here, for that man, or that woman. I know you've been talking to a priest, Jack, but sermons are not your style. If I don't get back on the case, Alec Barr is going to walk. It's down to Bailey now. She's not close enough. We've got one final crack at him, that's all. And I need to take it. So you want me to go and get you off the hook tell Bailey it was all down to me. Well, it was all down to you Charlie. That woman's body wouldn't have been down there if you hadn't screwed up the first time around. If you hadn't wanted to fit someone up instead of carrying out a proper investigation. You might not think that you owe Michael King anything for those ten years, but you think about those two dead women. This is unfinished business, Charlie. Let me finish it. I have to point out that you are entitled to legal representation. Next time round, Superintendent. You, stand over there. As far as this session is concerned I am prepared to make a brief statement which you can consider on or off the record. There's nothing 'off the record' in any investigation of mine. Well, that will probably put very serious constraints on your career as a detective. I'm prepared to co-operate with your enquiry. However, co-operation brings conditions. I'm not here to make deals. I can create enough confusion to have you running round in circles till you've missed two promotions and I've gone to meet my maker. Or to listen to threats. If there was any error of judgment under my authority, I take full responsibility. The only officer I confided in fully is now dead. My co-operation means you drop any possible charges against any detectives who may have worked for me. Like Jack Frost. Jack always played it straight. I can't agree to that. Well, you'll have to find someone who can. Oh, by the way, Superintendent, next time I expect someone of my own rank to be present. That's the correct procedure. I don't think retirement precludes that. I'm sure I'll hear from you. Okay Mr. Fairclough, you have your deal, we'll start taking your evidence at 0900 hours tomorrow. You know where to find us at FHQ. Welcome back Mr. Frost Thank you. Nice to see you back sir. Thank you. How are you Jack (Everyone welcoming Jack back) You're a lucky man, Inspector. Oh, is that what they say now to suspects when they're found innocent? You're lucky. I thought you'd have been relieved that my only crime was believing in Charlie Fairclough. But there again, what's one old copper who's taken the wrong road, not many brownie points in that is there? Not like uncovering a network of corruption. It's only Fairclough's word. And he was telling the truth. And that's what it's all about, isn't it? Really the truth, that's where our loyalties are, not in clocking up convictions. But there again, if the truth doesn't suit you, you can always do what Charlie Fairclough did. He invented it. And no-one noticed? You have to trust people that you work with, unless you have a very good reason not to. There's no other way. So I'm going to find the truth. That's what's going to get Michael King out of jail and put away a murderer. And not by what your opinion is of me. (Everyone applauding for Jack) Come on, back to work. It's not Ladies Night at Masonic Lodge! Mr. Mullett. Superintendent. Goodbye. Darling, Yep. It's Inspector Frost. Thank you. You're back, Inspector. If you think you can just walk in here and talk to James. No, no, it's you I wanted to chat to sir. Thank you very much, Mrs. Barr. Yes, well the thing is, I don't think that your brother killed his wife. You've arrested Sheridan? No, no Mr. Sheridan's innocent. He's got an alibi. Your brother would have had an alibi too had he gone to Bristol, on your instructions. Mr. Sheridan wasn't the only recipient of Jeanette's favors, was he? Having an affair with your sister-in-law isn't very nice. That's more in Father Sullivan's area than mine. Your brother and your wife, they don't know, I presume? Inspector... Don't try and protest. We' got a witness from the hotel. It's not what it seems. No, well it's not for me to judge, is it, sir. I mean we must face these things ourselves. Mea Culpa, as they used to say. Anyway, can you tell me where you were the night your sister- in -law was killed? I was here, my wife was at a charity dinner. My children were at a party. Are you reduced to throwing accusations at anyone who spent the evening alone? No not anyone, Mr. Barr. Shall I tell you what I've got. Now I don't know what happened the first time around with Harriet but you got away with it. You seemed to be getting away with it the second time around. Be that as it may, let's look at it another way, shall we? We've got proof that you spent the afternoon in bed with your sister-in-law. Now suppose, just suppose that your brother found out. That would be a pretty powerful motive for him to want to kill her. Now she was a big shareholder in the company she was trying to screw money out of Barr Electronics. That's another reason why James would want to kill his wife. So you see. If I can't prove anything else since you won't budge, I'm afraid your brother James is looking at somewhere between ten to fifteen years inside. How do you think he will survive jail? I mean you, you've got through that special school, didn't you? But they'll eat him alive. My brother is innocent Inspector, and so am I. All this, all this just shows how desperate you are. You don't believe a jury will convict James either. If there's any more of this, I'll have to bring in my solicitor. There will be more of this. You know that. (Phone ringing) Alec Barr. This is Father Sullivan. The thing is I... I need to speak to you before I go to the police. What do you mean? What's all this about, Father? I think you know that, Mr. Barr. I know my family is under a great deal of pressure. I'd have hoped even the modern church would give support and prayer. Instead of which you phone me with some bizarre threat. I'm not threatening you. You said you had to talk to me before you talked to the police. I don't know what nonsense you've dreamed up, but a priest. Mr. Barr, I know it was you who came into my confessional the day before James's wife was killed. I know it was your voice. You said you were going to kill someone. I'm quite prepared to testify to that if necessary. But the best thing for you to do is to go to the police and tell them what happened. What sort of priest are you? And what sort of brother are you? Anything I said is sacred. It's a sacrament, you bastard. You are not going to destroy my family. I wouldn't let that cow, Jeanette, and I won't let you. That's why I had to kill her. All right it's over, Mr. Barr. I said it's over. She didn't care about James, about the family. A money-grubbing tart. He'd given her shares in the company, in her name. His shares. Didn't tell me. Our American partners were ready to buy them strip our assets, junk us. It was business trouble. She was using that. She wanted a million pounds to sell back the shares. And so what if she broke us? And the affair? There was no affair, just that day. I met her in the hotel, to try and persuade her to sell the shares for a more reasonable sum. I thought she'd agreed to everything. She was playing me. I'd always had... she could look at you and make you feel... it was blackmail. That's why she did it. You see in the end I didn't have a choice. So it was a question of business. What about your brother's first wife? That wasn't business was it? That was jealousy. Because that was the one thing of your brother's that you couldn't make your own. So you took it from him. Hey George! Come on, wake up! It's ok. Well? He's gone, sir. All right go on, keep them back. All-powerful and mysterious God, we commend to you Alec, your servant. Blot out the sins he has committed through human weakness. This we ask through Jesus Christ Our Lord. This video is intended for private home use only. Any other use is prohibited. CLOSURE ENGLISH SUBTITLES WORK VERSION N°3 This documentary was filmed from 1994 to 1996 during the NIN "Self destruct" tour. The hectic conditions of a rock and roll concert tour are less than ideal for film making, and as a result, the picture and sound quality in portions of this programs are compromised. Self Destruct Nine Inch Nails Tour 1994 Nin Halo 12: Closure Tape 1: Live and interviews What is Nine inch nails ? Fucking Nine Inch Nails, it's fucking bad. Nine Inch Nails i mean god damn them some long as nails. Nin may 5, 8PM New Orleans There, there's a lot... They're the best fuckin thing that happened to music, alright ? Show them the rat bit you. Rat bit me. What are you guys gonna do with that picture ? Well, this is gonna be plaqued and put up in the cracker barrel. What we're gonna do, we're gonna have the picture there with like the rest of the groups autographs around there. It's gonna go up with Gallagher's above the fireplace. This band not only wants to re-invent the wheel, but wants to pound spikes into it, as well. - She's awfull. - Yeah monkey face. It would be disastrous, and would cause irrecoverable damages to Utah's women and children. Hi, we're at Nine Inch Nails ! Fuck you. - He's tellin' me there's no god ! - There's no heaven, there's no hell. All you are is fucking worm food. Might as well face that shit right now. The only reason human beings created god, god did not create man, man created god. I just scored front row tickets. - Really? - Hello, my life is good. Woo ! He keeps saying : "I'm gonna be in Trent's jock strap." "I'm gonna be in his underwear." You know what my dream is? I'm gonna lick trent when he comes down into the audience, and he will. - I'm not a big nine inch nails fan. - That's ok. But i wouldn't mind licking him. Keep him, away. Hey God, Why are you doing this to me? Am i not living up, to what i'm supposed to be? Why am i seething with this animosity? Hey God, i think you owe me a great big apology. Terrible lie Terrible lie Terrible lie Terrible lie Hey God, i really don't know what you mean. Seems like salvation comes only in my dreams. I feel my hatred grow all the more extreme Hey God, can this world really be as sad as it seems. Terrible lie Terrible lie Terrible lie Terrible lie Don't tear it away from me. I need you to hold on to. Don't tear it away from me. I need someone to hold on to. Don't tear it away from me. I need you to hold on to. Please don't tear it away from me. I need someone to hold on to. Don't tear it away from me. I need someone to hold on to. Don't tear it away from me. I need someone to hold on to. Don't tear it away from me. I need you to hold on to. Don't tear it. Please, don't tear it. Please, don't tear it. Don't take it, Don't ! Hey God, there's nothing left for me to hide. I lost my ignorance, security and pride I'm all alone in this fucking world you must despise Hey God, I believed your promises, your promises and lies. Terrible lie Terrible lie Terrible lie Terrible lie You made me throw it all away. My morals left to decay. How many you betray. You've taken everything My head is filled with disease. My skin is begging you : "please". I'm on my hands and knees. I want so much to believe. I want so much to believe. You fucking promised me. You promised me. You promised me. You promised me. You promised me. nine inch nails, last call, around here please, hello, over here, very good you're learning, go right in here, nine inch nails, your favorite you what? what's up? what's up dude? you are baby, you are donna, look at that one do it again? she needs a hickey mark isn't that fuckin awesome? -what are you doing on assholes ? -she needs a hickey mark on her wrist why is your tongue green? hangover, i did too many drugs and alcohol, i have a hangover El Duce ! you see? yeah all right don't mind me yeah so you girls dancin girls with these guys? - yes - cool - we're his dick suckers - there ya go maybe you just point it like this, hold on, dude don't deny tuck that shit in dude you dont mind? oh you know what i like sweet lady ...stand by lone star And i want you hey whats up man ahhh nice hit fine with me man - what time is it marco - it is now 9:18 1,2,3,4 see how fast i can do that your'e an asshole 'cause you're assholes, are you an asshole? 'cause we're ass holes too, what ya gonna do, 'cause your'e an asshole you are an asshole maybe you think your'e a lonely guy fucks you in your mouth and you think your'e too tough to cry you're all fucked you went ot the grave just to give it a try and dagmar(son of a bith i've ever seen in my life)was his name fifteen minutes copy thank you now comes warming time it's a lot easier to talk tough than to actually be the man and swallow the worm come on bottoms up boys I don't even remember how I got this on, john can you remember, is there any method or do you just put it on? put it on and just start pulling it down worse than a bunch of kids put your arms up, so we get this hey listen, the women know hot i've got clothes on where's the starch at? i'm not sure why they make us do this it seems very half-assed but it's not lets get some face, alright lets have hair I wanna see hair i've been doin this for years boys this man has been doin this for years, he has been doing it for months - that's all? i know - wooly bear look at that ass it's awesome, check it out, rubber gloves, starch, still couldn't fit we're gonna fuck 'em up man, london right? james has got the medicine ya'all, set it down it's hot, that's alright tuck your dicks boys and lets become women and make a show, that's what we call rock'n'roll Hey (pig) Yeah you Hey pig piggy pig pig pig All of my fears came true Black and blue and broken bones you left me here i'm all alone My little piggy needed something new Nothing can stop me now 'cause I don't care anymore Nothing can stop me now 'cause I just don't care Nothing can stop me now 'cause I don't care anymore Nothing can stop me now 'cause I just don't care Hey pig Nothing's turning out the way i planned Hey pig there's a lot of things i hoped you could help me understand. What am i supposed to do i lost my shit because of you. Nothing can stop me now I don't care anymore Nothing can stop me now I just don't care Nothing can stop me now You don't need me anymore Nothing can stop me now 'cause I just don't care Nothing can stop me now Nothing can stop me now Nothing can stop me now Nothing can stop me Nothing can stop me now Nothing can stop me now Nothing can stop me now Nothing can stop me Nothing can stop me now Nothing can stop me now Nothing can stop me now Nothing can stop me Nothing can stop me now Nothing can stop me now Nothing can stop me now Nothing can stop me now you're not getting tired are you, you fucks ? Kinda like a cloud i was up way up in the sky and i was feeling some feelings you wouldn't believe sometimes i don't believe them myself And i decided i was never coming down Just then a tiny little dot caught my eye it was just about too small to see But i watched it way too long and that dot was pulling me down I was up about it I was up above it Now i'm down in it I was up above it (I was up above it) Now i'm down in it Well shut up so what what does it matter now I was swimming in the haze now i crawl on the ground And everything i never liked about you is kind of seeping into me Try to laugh about it now but isn't it funny how everything works out "I guess the joke's on me" she said I was up about it (I was up above it) (Now i'm down in it) (I was up about it) (I was up above it) Now i'm down in it I used to be so big and strong I used to know my right from wrong I used to never be afraid I used to be somebody I used to have something inside Now just this hole that's open wide I used to want it all I used to be somebody I'll cross my heart and hope to die but the needle's already in my eye And all the world's fucking weight is on my back and i don't even know why What i used to think was me is a fading memory I looked him right in the eye and said "goodbye" I was up about it I was up above it Now i'm down in it ( Oh my god ! ) I was up above it I was up about it Now i'm down in it Now i'm down in it I was up about it I was up above it Now i'm down in it I was up about it rain rain go away come again some other day rain rain go away come again some other day rain rain go away come again some other AHHHHHH i was up above it now i'm down in it AHHHHHH it i was up above it Oooooohh i was up above it "now i'm down in it" Sick motherfucker ! Open at 45, going to be alright. Fuck, Fuck ! Fucking Fedex idiot, huh. Welcome to New York... It's split in a funny fucking way, the bone's chipped and... that's what poked the fingernail off. Stabbed in the back of my Face... He needed to stick a needle in the palm of my hand. The needle has webs in it. So, his concern is: a) I can play it all or b) what if I start playing, I don't know how to send, my finger is in a bloody mess, I can't feel it, that's not gonna make a good show, so what do you think about it and what to do right now? So I was thinking, you know... if it was one, Tracy or somebody can play. Today at the soundcheck proved that Tracy doesn't know the stuff to play those parts. If you can't do, you can't do that, fuck it. If I got my throat cut out we wouldn't play the show either. So fuck it. It's no sense feeling shitty about it... What can i...? You know... that doesn't change the truth to what the fuck happened. So fuck it. On the Marquis outside on the first, they say the show has been cancelled. Then, let's get a straight story for the press so it's not turning to what it isn't. Then I think it should be the truth. Absolutely. He's got the end of his fucking finger cut off... Yes, absolutely. He tried to do the show and passed out backstage. We can't do the show. Thank you, that's fine. I just need to hear it one more time. Well, there's nothing like another stressful day. It sucked. Keep rolling. We will leave. If we don't have a show tonight in 4 hours... Ok? And it doesn't matter if we run it or not. Everyone is gonna be fired, ok? We run it manual or we cancel it? A or B choice. What does that mean? For the show we do this week, we have no lights at all We have house lights, we'll have to do with house lights. Well, that's not good enough. Why are we in this position ? The production is always be aware of exactly where... Well, the 2 guys who make the decision are me and me. I am not aware until right now that the lights are not ready to be performed. You never said ...um... the show is not gonna be ready today. If we would have known that we wouldn't be ready tomorrow, we wouldn't be playing tomorrow. I'm slightly irritable beyond slightly... if we don't play tomorrow I'll be really really mad. Nothing could have been left to fucking bullshit... Now, I've wasted all day in doing this, you know, I'll probably be up all night with you guys. In terms of general looks. Let me just... do you have a pen on you? That song should be super-moody... Help Me I am In Hell should be... you're just watching a light show. Let's just do this. We'll start trying to get this to happen. Tomorrow at noon we'll see where we are. You know, maybe everything's done, perfect in time, cool, by this afternoon... It's because we have the framework that works. Here is the other challenge that we never done before. Normally the set is orchestrated, started out, come back up... Ok, wait! Ok, wait up! We'll be right there! We're gonna do a little sideburn? Am I good? You good. Check it out. Hey Trent! Awesome dude! You fucking pigs Fuck you Step right up, march, push. Crawl right up on your knees, please, greed, feed. I want a little bit, i want a piece of it, i think he's losing it, i want to watch it come down. Don't like the look of it, on't like the taste of it, don't like the smell of it. I want to watch it come down. All the pigs are all lined up. I give you all that you want. Take the skin and peel it back. Now doesn't that make you feel better ? Shove it up inside, surprise ! Lies. Stains like the blood on your teeth. Bite, chew, suck. I want to break it up, i want to smash it up, i want to fuck it up. I want to watch it come down. Maybe afraid of it, let's discredit it, let's pick away at it. I want to watch it come down. Come fucking down. All the pigs are all lined up. I give you all that you want. Take the skin and peel it back. Now doesn't that make you feel better ? The pigs have won tonight. Now they can all sleep soundly. And everything is all right. Come here, motherfucker motherfucker All the pigs are all lined up All the pigs All the pigs are all lined up. All the pigs All the pigs are all lined up. All the pigs No, no All the pigs are all lined up. Every fucking little pigs You don't see this one very often, Do you? Jonathan, how are you doing? Right here, Madison Square Garden. I'm hanging around with some nails. Are you ready? Holy shit... Sick! Amazing Mister Lifto of the Jim Rose Circus is going to attempt to lift up... this chair... Shit! - Don't lift up! Lifto? ! Are you all right? We're on the road, 48 weeks out of the year, staying at hotels just about every night. And at each one there is a person at the desk, that says if we need help lifting up the luggage... and We say Fuck You! We've got the amazing Mr Lifto Fucking Samsonite gorilla ! 3 days bro. As soon as the tour, this leg is over... I'll sit down here and have a long talk to myself. I have to get to know Jim again. Are you having fun yet? so the fuck are we but he's not through, We're gonna take 100 firecrackers and light him on... FIRE! Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! YES! Give it up for... The amazing Mr Lifto It's not my call but for security reasons, you guys have to leave there. It's all good... Dude, that was my beer. This song's about.... fucking... I'm drunk. And right now I'm so (in love with you). And I (don't want to think too much about what we...) ...should or shouldn't do. Lay my hands on heaven and the sun and the moon and the stars, While the devil wants to fuck me in the back of his car. Nothing quite like the feel... of something new. Maybe I'm all messed up. Maybe I'm all messed up. Maybe I'm all messed up in you. Maybe I'm all messed up. Maybe I'm all messed up. Maybe I'm all messed up. Maybe I'm all messed up in you. This is the only time I really feel alive. This is the only time I really feel... Thanks man. What did you throw up, man, what did you throw? Can I have a towel in exchange? Thanks man... I swear. Right now I found everything I need. The sweat in your eyes, the blood in your veins... are listening to me. Well I want to drink it up and swim in it until I drown. My moral standing is lying down. Nothing quite like the feel... of something new. Maybe I'm all messed up. Maybe I'm all messed up. Maybe I'm all messed up in you. Maybe I'm all messed up. Maybe I'm all messed up. Maybe I'm all messed up. Maybe I'm all messed up in you. This is the only time I really feel alive. This is the only time I really feel alive. This is the only time I really feel alive. This is the only time I really feel alive. I think being on stage at Woodstock was good. At that time, I thought we did good. My opinion of the show was this : it was obviously fucking chaotic. You were going off. The fucking music was like, sloppier than usual I felt. Yeah, that was one of the best show I ever done, personally. I connected, I said fuck it and I didn't get tired... I broke everything I could and it was an insane show. Fuck it. I felt as if the world... the weight lifted up off me. I felt just relieved... But... then I heard the tape, it was awful. Live, I think, anger becomes a main source of energy to get off of. The shows become very disorder(impossible a piger? --dissolved ? BIZARRE? ) The lights look amazing... that's another story. I just run into things. You don't really feel them till you get offstage. Hey... can you put that on pause? Yes? No? Yeah! Of course. First, it sounds loud but then after a half hour it's not so loud, you know? And after, like, three quarter of an hour, it's not loud enough, you know? I think the lyrics to some of that stuff that "Are you with..." It was so smart... so fucking smart... It's nice just rocking. But it's rock and smart. That's to me like at the... Great time...man, that's just so good to see someone doing that. If that's not what it is all about, I don't know what it is. Hello. I know in speaking English but I like the group. Thank you the pictures, thank you everyday. If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again. Head's up! Dave! Dave! Dave! Yeah! 1, 2, 3... Nail it! The chair! What do you guys shooting at? Exit sign, why? Come on, Buzz... Dude, please, just one... You'll never have to do another one... Promise? Promise! Promise! Promise! Yeah! Don't throw my beer! Don't throw my beer! Can you say... lawsuit? Ready, number 4... Ready? I'm just caught up in another of her spells. Well, she's turning me into someone else. Everyday i hope and pray this will end. But when I can, I do it all again. And if she says: come inside, i'll come inside for her. And if she says: give it all, i'll give everything to her. I am justified. I am purified. I am sanctified, inside you... I am justified. I am purified. I am sanctified. inside you... Are you ready ? Yeah... Yeah... This is the first day of my last days. I built it up, now i take it apart. Climbed up real high, now fall down real far. No need for me to stay, the last thing left, I just threw it away. I put my faith in god, and my trust in you, now there's nothing more fucked up i could do. Wish there was something real, wish there was something true. Wish there was something real, in this world full of you. I'm the one without a soul, i'm the one with this big fucking hole. No new tale to tell, twenty-six years on my way to hell. Gotta listen to your big time, hard line, bad luck, fist fuck! Don't think you're having all the fun, you know me... I hate everyone ! Wish there was something real, wish there was something true. Wish there was something real, in this world full of you. Wish there was something real, wish there was something true. Wish there was something real, in this world full of you. Wish there was something real, wish there was something true. Wish there was something real, in this world full of.. This world full of you. This world full of you. This world full of.. I like the look of pain on your face, when you're drying yourself off on the amp. I was on stage, and my mic stand flew out of my hand. Once in a while a car blew up spontaneously. This mic stand flew... accidentally hit him on the head... cut his head open... but he kept on playing, which I thought was pretty impressive. I wasnt meant to do that. It's like combat, you know, going onstage, something else takes over once in a while... things happen. 300 shows... I think we're doing OK. No deaths yet. Do we have any gunshots anywhere in the dialog? I'm working on this stuff for a new album now, and the mistakes I've made in the past was... When you go on tour, you dont think that much you constantly in strange situations, like this one, and... you're always moving around... What's that? split it up so "shit you're Mallory Knocks aint you", And the ri... and the last half is separate from the first half. Holy shit! Most of my writing comes from having a place in San Diego, time to think... And in the past I just... never allowed myself time to do that. - Ya want to try it with this ? - How come I don't hear shit ! So right at ".. I'd be Mickey and Mallory", doom doom "I'm back in babys arms..." "... I'd be Mickey and Mallory" But it of the... fade out of the crowd... I'm trying to have the discipline to um, get in a space where, I can also be writing, while touring. which so far has been going pretty well. -Did you record that? -Yep! So I'm gonna put him in movies and he'll be a star... - Don't you think? Come on, you're the cameraman, man. - Oh fuck! - Is this...? - Is this the catering yet? - Brad Pitt - Fucking Brad Pitt. - He hates that bottom line, he hates... - If he could read well enough, to read a script... Oh Danny get back in here... defend yourself! Make it a little bit more interesting too... with seeing that side... And then if something we cant forsee happens on those 2 shows... we still have portland 'alright' in reserve just in case. - Yeah? - Yeah. well what I was going to do, I was going to cover most of those songs before march of the pigs I was gonna coming up doing like an acoustic thing... A middle aged more gentle approach... to this industrial chaos. I'm touched by that. God thinks he's all that and a bag of chips... That was my street theory... you know that... (? ) the other night (? ) I was doing the film Under Pressure... so why is he doing Vanilla Ice cover? Comes to the fucking nap. That's something I made in (? ) 1968, I was thinking (? ) would rule. - Is that the year it was written? - Yeah. I was one. Somebody shove it up in front of me. just trying to put that into perspective too much fucking perspective. you kids are such agists Yeah, I know, I know... I think it'll be all right... see you later! I... hurt myself today, to see if i still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real. The needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting, try to kill it all away, but i remember everything. What have i become? My sweetest friend. Everyone i know, goes away in the end. You could have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt. I wear this crown of shit, upon my liar's chair. Full of broken thoughts, i cannot repair. Beneath the stain of time, the feeling disappears. And you are someone else, And I am still right here. What have i become? My sweetest friend. Everyone i know, goes away in the end. You could have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt. If i could start again, a million miles away. I would keep myself. I would find a way. -One more try! -One more try! -No, that didnt count! Thats... -Yeah, really... Oh, we get a light, we got a .... Woo! All right! Awesome. This way? We can go this way... Polaroid! . -Ready? -OK! Hurry Up! One more! Oh, thank you all! I've got a copy! Have a good trip! -Sissy boy. -Sissy boy ! Oh, awesome! Awesome! Eh Robbie? Just when I thought it was over! ...in a concert, it said the show included foul language and obscene gestures but the band calls the cancellation unfair... I saw a kid with lipstick on I dont know if it was for me, but it was weird. Twiggy brought this! Dont bring that here! -Dude you can make love to that. -Danny? That smell, where did it come from? good (? ) in a drink. Im so good looking, I can put a rubber on and still get laid. From the look of the sores of your lips, you might want to put 2 on. I still recall the taste of my tears. Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears. My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore. Scraping through my head 'till i don't want to sleep... anymore. You make this all go away, you make this all go away. I'm down to just to thing, and i'm starting to scare myself. You make this all go away, you make this all go away. I just want something... I just want something... I can never have. You always were the one to show me how. Back then, I couldn't do the things that i can do now. This thing is slowly take me apart. Grey would be the color, if i had a heart. Come on tell me. You make this all go away, you make this all go away. I'm down to just one thing, I'm starting to scare myself. You make this all go away, you make it all go away. I just want something... I just want something... I can never have. I can never have... I can... Whoever threw that, fuck you Allright ? In this place it seems like such a same. Though it all looks different now, I know it's still the same. Everywhere i look you're all i see. Just a fading fucking reminder of... who i used to be. Come on tell me. You make this all go away, you make this all go away. I'm down to just one thing, I'm starting to scare myself. You make this all go away, you make it all go away. I just want something... I just want something... I can never have. I just want something... I can never have... I can never have... I can never have... Thank you Subtitles: Nin-France / Frigorifix Ninjaw P.B., Trm, Laurent Caron, Gui@B, Xiolabe, DistantMirage, byk, Void, Perchee, Black_Sun ninfrance.free.fr ninnewsfr.mihalis.org Are you really leaving today? Are you really leaving today? I won't listen to this crap anymore. It's the same thing every year! Are you really leaving today? "Come along to Grandma's. Turn off the TV!" I'm fed up listening to you females... moaning about that Christmas garbage! - Hello, it's me. - Hi. I'm getting the earlier train. OK. Shall I pick you up from the station? No, don't bother. I'll get a taxi. OK, see you soon. - Are you all right? - Brilliant. - Is there a lot to tidy up? - A bit. OK. See you later. Bye. Laura? WINTER SLEEPERS Do you want some chicken soup? Coffee. Here. Why do you still go home? What have you been doing? Sleeping. Reading. Waiting. What for? You taste of sleep. You taste of car. New car? - Want to take a look? - Later. - Wait... the car. - Later. Are you driving? Are you kidding? I'm drunk. Well, then you've got a long way to go. What's wrong? I want to come, too. Don't start that again. I'm frightened. Why? In case she doesn't come back. Listen. Lizzy will get well again. That's why I'm taking her to the vet. Anyone there? Come on. Just one more hour. I can tell you're still tired. Luis to Dad. Come in. Come in. Luis to Dad. Over. - Luis to Dad. - Where's the damned thing? Come in. The sun. Are you OK? You were really lucky. Lizzy! Oh, God! Shit! Shit! Shit! What do you mean, you have to check? Who are "they"? You're the only one there? It must be terrible to be all alone. How do you manage to read the paper... drink the flowers, water the coffee... all by yourself? That's... This can't be true. Why did I fall asleep? Don't worry. Some joyrider will probably dump it somewhere. - Yeah, sure. - What was in the car? Clothes, Christmas presents, all kinds of stuff. I gotta go. That guy must be on Valium or something. Becky, I'm taking your car. Hey, I have to go to work. OK, hurry up. Come on. Why did you leave the key in the car? You look fine. God loves you for a liar. Daylight never saw such a ruin! But you've put on weight. You're as plump as a partridge. You look good. Blanche! Yes, you do, or I wouldn't say it. But watch your figure. Look at my figure. Look at my figure. I haven't put on an ounce in ten years, Stella. I weigh what I weighed... the summer you left Belle Reve... - the summer... - Laura, come quickly. What's wrong? Internal bleeding and head injuries. - How did it happen? - A car accident. - Shit, I don't know if I can... - Sure, you can. You've got no choice. Come here. Hold this. Swab. Suck it up. I can't see anything. - We need more blood. Ligature. - Yes. When? No, when? Ten minutes ago. Thank you. He'll be here soon. You can sign in here. Sorry... - Well? - Forget it. If someone pisses on the slopes, they stage a manhunt... but a stolen car... It's like a UFO landing here: "A car? "A car with four wheels, or what?" Becky, the keys are in my pants' pocket. - Good morning. - Good morning. Thanks. OK, let's go. Max! Of you go! Next. I saw something... A car... It nearly crashed into me. At the last second, I swerved. It was all so sudden. There were these lines... like a snake. Where? Like waves. What are you looking at, you idiot? I can't remember! You'll have to be patient, I'm afraid. We have the situation under control... but there might be some damage to the skull and brain. We have to do a CT-scan, but we can't do it here. And we can't get a helicopter in weather like this. Can't you drive her there? It's too much of a risk. Her condition is critical. We might lose her then. Lose her? A coma. What's a coma, Dad? Go home and get some sleep. There's nothing you can do here. It was... It was like a snake. Shaped like a snake. Pardon? Has he been treated yet? No, I'm OK. It's nothing. Come on. Hello, sweetheart. I just can't get you out of my mind. I miss you. Really. Do you actually love me? Then come over here right now. I'll undress you, you'll undress me... - Why don't you answer? - Hello? - It's me. What are you doing? - Getting ready for the theater. Theater? Sure. It's Laura's opening night. - I forgot. - You promised to come. Yeah, but... - I couldn't stand it tonight. - Why not? I had my share of amateur dramatics today. You're mean. It's supposed to be really good this time. Can't we lie in bed and watch TV instead? How original. "A Streetcar Named Desire"... perhaps it's on TV tonight. Vivian Leigh instead of Laura Kirsch. Marco, I have to go, and I want to. - You can come here and watch TV. - Yeah? Yes, I'll tell Laura you're ill. Yeah? Yeah, see you soon. My God, they're full to bursting. Look at my figure. Look at my figure. Did you know that I haven't put on an ounce... in ten years, Stella? Please. Look at my figure. Did you know that I haven't put on an ounce... in ten years, Stella? I weigh what I weighed... How much do you think this exclusive casserole set costs? Precisely 499. - I'd say 300. - Let's have a look. No, sorry. This wonderful casserole set costs 499 marks. Sorry, Hilde. Better luck next time. Otto. Don't take it so hard. - Bye. - Bye. I'm going over there. Take care of him. I saw him applauding. - What's your name? - Rene. Oh, yes. I'm Laura. - You work at the movie theater? - Yeah. - You're the... what's it called? - Projectionist. Yeah, right. - Don't do it. - What? Don't ask me. Ask you what? - Whether I liked it. - I wasn't going to. Well, did you like it? Yeah, it was really good. I thought so, too... I thought so, too. - What else do you do? - I'm a nurse. I'm a nurse. I'm better at nursing... - Better? - Better than at acting. God! I can't believe I'm in such a foul mood. Listen, you don't have to talk to me. I just didn't want to be rude. Hey, welcome. I can't find it. Oh, God, where are we? Go back the way we came. Take the next right. Are you OK? Turn left in the village. Well, thanks. Are you OK? I'll be OK. Thanks. Wait a second. Do you like to go to the movies? Not really. - Which movie do I have to see? - Anything you like. They're free tickets. Thanks. Amen. Are we getting a new horse, Dad? We're not going to make it. Not this time. What are you talking about? Everything. Wait! Laura! Wait for me! - Laura! - Come on! - Come on! - I'm thirsty! Shall we go to the movies tonight? The movies? I have free tickets. From that weird guy? He works there, doesn't he? Weird? He looks a bit strange, don't you think? Yeah. Did you talk to him? A bit. At least he gave you free tickets. Right. So do you want to come? I can't. Marco's coming. You don't like Marco, do you? Yes, I do. It's just that... I don't really understand what he wants. From me? No... just generally. Sometimes I don't know, either... if he's honest. Whether I can trust him. Take your time. You've only just met. OK, Mother. I'd like to know if it is love between Marco and me. What do you think? How should I know? Hi. What are you doing? Watching TV. Eating. Could you? Sorry. I'll put it back. Perhaps I should go to the movies after all. Oh, come off it. Stop cleaning up his mess. What do you mean? - Any news about your car? - Small-town cops. Forget it. Leave it. I'll do it. Take this, will you? - Wow! - Reflexes... Shit! We could spend some more time together. We could be closer. I mean... I could live here. You and I could do the ski courses together. I could show you around the country. We'd always be together. If I could live here, I wouldn't have to rent the place in town. You didn't sell yourself well as a prospective roommate. - What do you mean? - You should know! Gerd is still looking for new ski instructors. - I don't want to. - Why not? - I have enough to do. - You could earn a lot more. I earn just as much with the translations. "Forest Ranger's Love"... "Hour of Desire." You'd be a great ski instructor. But I don't want to. Ridiculous! - What? - Your attitude. You never try anything new. - What'll I tell Gerd? - What about? - Your refusal. Where did you get that idea anyway? - I told him. - What? For your sake. You'd earn twice as much. Thanks, but I'm grown up. Oh, yeah? Don't you ever want to achieve anything? You can talk! Huh? Your attitude makes me sick! What's the matter with you? I'm talking to you! If you don't take any advice... you'll never solve your problems! I don't have any problems! - Oh, yeah? - You have a problem! Sure. Typical. You are the problem! Your obstinacy is my only problem! - How come? - You aren't reliable. I have to smooth things out with Gerd! Sorry, but you got yourself into it! I don't get it. You don't want to change a thing. You only want to be left in peace. Make an effort. You know what's really ironic? That you can't stand your father... but you say the same crap as him! What do you know about my father? I just have to look at you to know everything. - What the hell's wrong with you? - Leave me alone! - You just want to hurt me! - Then cry! It's true! You enjoy hurting me! Ouch! Are you crazy? You look lovely when you're angry. Stop it! I'll love you... if you want. Oh, yeah? But don't boss me around. I don't want to boss you around. Then love me for a change, and stop annoying me. Then love me for a change. Sometimes you're so... Oh, no! Why did you go to that movie? Well, I think we're even now. Bye. I've finished work. Nervous... arrogant... vain... unkempt... unhealthy... self-satisfied... full of longing... spent... - strange. - Full of longing? - That annoys you. - No, arrogant annoys me. - And self-satisfied and vain. - Yeah. It's your turn. Reserved... frustrated... inhibited... hesitant... closed-up... pulled together... egocentric... not hungry. You don't want anything to eat? - Why egocentric? - I don't know. - Why do you think I'm strange? - Because you are. - You're not egocentric? - I don't know. Sorry, I actually ordered tea. Stupid, ugly, idiotic, blind, deaf, mute, moronic! Are you OK? You, of all people, drive me home! - To ease my guilty conscience. - Oh, dear. Everybody else was completely drunk. Theo? Go to sleep. As the moisture flowed into droplets... - Slaving away again? - What? What are you doing? Surprise. I moved out of my apartment. - You agreed. - I told you. I had to talk to Laura first. It's her house. - But there's so much space here. - Yeah... But you're not very easy on her. - What do you mean? - You know. You don't like Laura, and you don't try to hide it. That's mutual. Exactly. A great basis, huh? Shit. - You aren't pleased. - Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Really. I'll talk to Laura later, OK? I am. It's just that you're sometimes... What? I'll finish this quickly, OK? Here. I put a vitamin pill in it. A vitamin pill. - Shall I let in a little light? - No, please don't! It's better this way. - I wanted to ask you out. - Oh, yeah? - To dinner. - To dinner? - Don't you want to? - Yes, dinner. OK. It's you. - You don't like it, do you? - No, it's different. - You didn't even recognize me. - Sorry, I was daydreaming. - Well? Black coffee as always? - Yeah. What were you thinking about? I forgot. I think it was important. - I know the feeling. - No, not like that. - I have a problem here anyway. - Yeah? What is it? You won't tell me. I'm hungry. We can go to my place. - Who did you inherit it from? - My great-aunt. She was great. She loved collecting things. She hooked a rich building speculator... and traveled. This was her depot. - Her depot? - So to speak. You'll see. The whole family died of envy, and in the end... everyone came away empty-handed. Almost everybody. Yeah. She saved my life. Just because you went shopping once! OK, OK. Forget it. - Lf I'd only known before. - What? That you're such a great roommate. Where are you going? What? I have to pee, you dumb cow! Or maybe not. Hello. Good-bye! Shit! Just a minute. Great. Just stay in bed. Leave me alone! It's great the way you sell yourself. Why me? You're the one who yelled. You can't eat up everything in the fridge. Why not? I bought the food. Why do I have to sell myself anyway? Because you want to live here, you bum. You're nuts. Why don't you stay here? Would it bother you if Marco lived here a while? No, why? He asked me. I'd like him to stay. Yeah, sure. Why not? - What are you doing? - What do you think? What? Why? I don't want to have to sell myself. Don't worry. I've done it for you. Thanks. But no, thanks. Stay here! After all the trouble I went to! I don't want trouble! I just want to live here! You're nuts! Yeah, sure. You cry, and it's all my fault. I'm not crying. You don't even want me to live here. Do you really think it's a good idea? Sure. Why? - Why, why? - Yes, why? - Why not? - Why should you? It'd be good. We'd be together. - But we're always arguing. - That's not true. Do you really like being with me? No, a big shiver! Besides, it's starting to melt. - So, it's that urgent? - I already told you that. What if Lella is delayed? It would be a disaster. Then let me handle this before it's too late. Mother of God! Actually... I'm going to devour you! - Just a moment... let me get undressed. - Hold still... How long have you gone without? Since I was born! Where should I start? Say, Gloria... - Alvaro! - Lella! So, this is your boyfriend? You mind your own business! And what are you doing here? I brought you some ice cream for your birthday. Why are you dressed like that? You look like a whore. Alvaro, I... What should I do with this? I don't even like the stuff. To hell with it... Lella... - By the way, how much do you charge? - Fifty thousand. So... fifty plus fifty makes a hundred... Good... let's do a threesome! Guys! You look like the "Night of the Living Dead". Come on, cheer up! - Always with your jokes! - Will you ever change? Come on, Ciotti is starting his rounds. We need to hurry! - No, not here! - Over there! Guys, women being as they are, we don't mean to cause problems, we're just having fun. Excuse me, Professor, have you seen Miss Italia? - Why? - Because I'm supposed to have an injection. - You need to have an injection? - Yes. The gentleman needs to have an injection. Ah, the gentleman needs to have an injection? The gentleman needs to have an injection. If I understand correctly, the gentleman needs to have an injection. - Yes, that's right. - Very good! Come with us, we'll take care of it. Don't worry, you won't feel any pain. Alright, come in. - That's it, don't worry. - Bend over. Now stay right there... brace yourself. A little to the side... that's it. Get comfortable. Uncover your rear. - Your ass. - Relax your muscles! Relax, you'll receive an unforgettable injection. That's it, don't move... remain still... Good, his test results, they're not the best. - Give me the X-ray. - Right away, Professor. No wonder... It's quite clear. Tomorrow we'll make a small intervention, which will definitely fix it. Happy? Cicchirini, take charge of the preparations. Leave it to me, Professor. - Oh, Professor! - Will you let me by, Miss? Water... Good, we'll continue with his regular injections. Are you responsible for him, Ms. Cappia... Cappam? Cappi, Professor. The needle... May we give you a hand, Doctor? Yes! Yes! Come, come... this may hurt a bit! Now everything's ready. - All set. - Just relax, relax... He requires an emergency operation. I can't tomorrow. I'm too tired. Then there's the weekend. I'll operate on Monday. What is it? Who died? You! - It must have been you! - No. We didn't do it! - It must have been you! I'll... - One, two and three... in my office! We always take her with us. It's a bad habit. Courage, Doctor. Courage... It's always the three of them who organize these pranks. What are you doing in my office with your butt in the air? I was hoping for an injection. Go to the waiting room. This isn't an outpatient surgery! They told me to wait here. See? Another example. This is an affront to Professor Ciotti, and shows lack of respect for a person of his stature. I'll report you to the Academic Senate and have you expelled. Cicchirini, calm down! And you... get out of here. Out! What about my injection? You expect me to give you an injection? Get out! Out! Motherfuckers... - Did you do it? - Me? No. Was it you? - No, no! Maybe it was him. - I didn't do... it was him. It wasn't me. Who is it? "Who is it?" That's for me to say! Who is it? Am I disturbing you? No, no, my dear. Come in. You're never disturbing. To the contrary. Come... come... But, Professor, we haven't finished. Can't you see that I have things to do? I have a lot to do. Aren't you going to report them to the Academic Senate? Won't you expell them? - I'll think about it. - How magnanimous. I'll make you pay for this, or my name isn't Cicchirini. - We're innocent. - You're a bunch of fools! We're what? Are you really going to report them to the Academic Senate? Of course not. That was just a joke. When I was young, I was worse than them, my dear Ms. Cappia. Cappi, Professor. I just wanted to make sure that nothing would happen to me. Nothing yet... Professor! What are you doing? You haven't heard of the prowess of "Professor Saw-Saw"? I couldn't breathe! It makes me not want to have sex. I need breath mints? No, darling, but I'd be more comfortable in your home. It's warmer and more relaxing. - But it's much more romantic here. - Alright... Don't make a sound. Who's there? Oh, yes... I am. - Hey, douche bag, get out of there! - What does this mean? - Come on, fuckface! - Alright, pig... get out here! Come on! - Come on, come on! - Get out here. Don't hurt me, I'm just a poor college student! Poor, poor? Then we'll find someone who'll pay for you. No, not my mother! Please, not my mother. - Guys, what should we do? - Let's knock him off! No, no. Please! I'll give you everything I have! - Like what? - Everything, everything. Candies? No, I don't like breath mints. This linen handkerchief. My mother gave it to me for my birthday. - It's not worth anything. - Come on. Come on! I have 16.600 liras to last me to the end of the month. - I'll take that. - What about me? You get nothing! Okay, guys, we'll let him go and take her. Out! I'm also poor. That's not true. She owns a ten story building, a farm and livestock. That's enough! - We'll take her. - Yes... And you, douche bag, take off your pants. Yes, yes. I'll take them off right away... - I can't. - Why not? I crapped myself. Drop your pants. Now! Faster! Pig! Wimp! Put on the hood. - No! - Put on the hood, bitch. - No! - Dammit... Let go of me! Help her down. We are gentlemen. We won't do anything to a woman. Come on, get out. Count to one hundred and take off the hood. Let's go! Miss... Miss... - Doctor! - Mr. Santarelli... - What happened? - Something... something terrible! Three men kidnapped me. - Oh, God... - Three men? - Yes... No! - What is it? No, it's not possible. It's impossible! What? The three men... were you and your friends! Me? I can't forgive your prank this time! It wasn't funny, you understand? - I'll have you thrown in jail. - It wasn't us! Twenty years in prison! People don't do this for a joke! You're thugs! Criminals! No, you mustn't call. What are you doing? Of course I'm calling. Okay, I confess, I was with my friends. Ah, he confesses at last. Of course. I can't bear to see you with Dr. Cicchirini... Hey, leave Dr. Cicchirini out of this. He's my boyfriend. He's an asshole. He may be an asshole, but he's my... What are you making me say? Okay, fine. Make the call, but first you should know I did it for you. Sandro! You mean... the Addison's disease, the fake kidnapping... you did that for me? Yes! Meaning, I'm so important to you that ... ... that you ... Yes... God, it's cold. Stop! Stop, please! I'm Dr. Cicchirini, can you give me a lift? Hey, slow down. What happened to you? I've been robbed! 16,600 liras, my girlfriend... - Give me a ride, I can't go any farther. - Come on, get in. My God, what a terrible experience. Mother of God... That's the truth! - What is it? - I'm not sure, but that's a serious stench! - And it's getting worse! - God, yes... What a stench! Don't you notice the smell? I can't stand it. What a terrible experience! It smells like something died! Haven't you noticed it, too? Yes, but there are several tanneries around here. - Tanneries? - Tanneries. If they're tanning hides, it's the skin from the ass. - A tough one! - Stop, I can't stand this stench. Stop! I think it's coming from that guy in the back! - Are you going to leave me like this? - Wimp! Dear God, it's not fair. A dog! Quiet, I'm Dr. Cicchirini! See that? I'm getting better. You look like a fisherman at a taco stand. - Now, watch this. - Not bad for a beginner. In the corner pocket. It's up to you, Benito. Come on, cheer up! Come on, play. - Let's see what he can do. - Now you'll find out. - What are you doing, Benito? -What's wrong? Guys... I just want to say that next week I turn 32. And so... ? I can't go on like this. - I'll be graduating. - It's about time. Then I'll get a job. Actually, I wanted to tell you, that next week I'm getting married. What can I say? Buy me a nice gift. Benito's getting married? To whom? I don't know. Beloved, you come to the house of the Lord so that your love can be sanctified by God, by the Minister of the Church and the Community. Christ blesses this love and commands you to be faithful to each other, bearing together the responsibilities of marriage, you are enriched with the Sacrament, having been consecrated through baptism. I now ask your intentions before the members of the Church. Italia and Benito, have you come here to join in marriage without coercion, but freely and conscously aware of the step you are about to take? Are you willing to love and honor your... Why do I have to attend this absurd ceremony? Because he's your student, ... - ... and she's the former nurse of your boss. - He's a jerk and she's useless! The last time I saw Ciotti he suggested I take a trivial position with the public health service. If it is your solemn intention to enter the sacred bond of marriage, join hands and express such to God and the Church... - Yes? - You have some shitty friends. They didn't want to be witnesses, and they haven't even deigned to come to your wedding. ... to each other for life in Sacred Marriage? Ah... yes! - Have you come here, or not? - What? To join in marriage without coercion, but freely and conscously aware of the step you are about to take? Are you willing to love and honor each other for the rest of your lives in Holy Matrimony? I beg your pardon? Hear our prayers ... - Where's the lunatic? - There he is! - Grab him! - Seize that lunatic! - We take care of this. - Come with us, madman. What are you doing? Benito! Motherfuckers! What kind of a joke is this? Get in! Let's go, we saved him! - Benito! - Call me Ben! I'll fail them! I'll fail them all. They're expelled... all of them! UNDER SHEETS WITH THE DOCTOR -You erase the slate please -Immediately Today we will examine the corpse of a man passed away by peritonitis. Pair to see better, you lower to the first rows. I see many new faces, students of first course, I go especially to them, if you have never seen a corpse you are not impressed, a corpse is only a person who does not move. We begin our class of anatomy macrocospic... We can begin by... Well, we can begin our class of anatomy macrocospic. You take notes. What is that? What is going to be? The died hand, no? Help! Help! Espérame. Espérame. I already go. You excuses. They stand back. The dead has escaped! In the name of the Medicine. Stop! Stop! You run. God, what cold does. You run. you run. Towards where? Delay, hopes. By there. yes, by there. According to last theories "paragenéticas", Ia prenatal sexuality... By where have they gone? By where have they gone? They have gone by there, Doctor, to the bottom, in the washbasins. -You have seen Him? -Seen who? God mine! What is this? Sexual violence? Have you seen a naked man enter? -Naked? -Naked! No. Where is he? Open. Open. Open. Open! I am Dr. Cicchirini. It is possible to be known what happens? Ah, Doctor. You what makes here? The washbasins of the beadles are down. Doctor, already knows that I undergo hypertrophy to the prostate. Commonly call prostatismo, whose symptoms is: first, frequent necessity to tinkle, secondly, difficulty in starting up the urinary flow. Him memory that the classes occur in the classroom and that you not even are authorized. Have you seen a naked man enter? -A naked man? -Naked. It often happens to him to see naked men? Good, in fact, lately, there has been a case in that... But, what makes say me? You are a dummy. It is not allowed to return to take that class from confidences. It remembers that you it is not more than a beadle, however I am Dr. Cicchirini. Benito. Benito, hears... Ben. You must call Ben to me. How I must say it? In agreement. You do not cause that the faults of the parents fall on the children. -And Alvaro where is? -He has been going to get dressed. -It was looking for to You. -Goes all good? Amigos, amigos. I caused that you touched the legs of a woman, eh? yes, thanks, thanks. It tell me, how are the low ones of professor Cappi? It is very good. To me it seems to me a callus. Where is Lella? It is enough with that Lella, already you have to us fed up. Yet what we are doing by you, by your sexual education. Yes, but I want to Lella. Yours it is a old fashioned sexual education. Eh, you watch that ass. Who is? Dr. Laura Bonezzi, the fiancee of Prof. Cicchirini. -No! -Yes. It is possible that at the most wanker they are, more beautiful they are his fiancees? -There am ear my name. -Good day, professor. -What have you said? -I have not spoken, you have spoken to him? -I no. have spoken to him. -I have not spoken, have spoken to him. -No, I no. have spoken to him. -I? Who has spoken, that raises the hand. -He has spoken. -I have not raised the hand, professor. Very graceful. I will remember you. It is going to us to send a postcard? -Hello, lovely. -What happens? Nothing. I am going to suspend all. -You suspend all? -Yes, to all. Why? They are bastards, children of puta. let's go You come, that is not for you. -Senorito? -Yes? -The tea. -Thanks. -I serve the tea to you? -Yes, thanks. You want a little milk? Senorito? Milk. Yes, milk... much milk. Thanks. Yes. -Sandro? Sandro. -Yes, mother. Why you have not been going to study with Alvaro? Because Alvaro has a class of... sexología applied. -Why have not gone you also? -Either I will go, or go... hopefully. It sees, María. -Yes, lady. And now it studies, that you have the examinations. yes, study, study... What I am going to study? We do something, comes. God, what beautiful you are... No. -Why no? -Because not and point. If everybody does. Stay put, watch the film. -Sight, watches what it is doing to him. -If you knew what you haríía I... Only would to see if still worked, If I worked or I endorse? They call Perennial Dust to me, In addition, after a time between grates, Then all good goes, You remember lnés Badoer, its artistic name, if therefore it is possible to be said, Inés? To the attack! Alvaro, quiet. It is possible that you only think about that? Yes, Yes. Only in that. You already know that I do not want. But, if we are engaged. Indeed. Ten patience? no? Have I it, she is who does not have it. She who? -Ella. -Alvaro, you are a pig. No, no. would not to do it. It hopes, Lella.? To where you go? I will not return to go to the cinema with you. Now you lías to slaps with me? Lella... -You must learn to respect to me. -Yes, Yes, in agreement, hopes... Eh, Casanova, you have returned to give in the morning call? Yes, it aimed at the ass of your sister, jerk. What you have said? It pardons, I have been mistaken. Lella... Oh, my God. Eh, boys, I do not hold more, has remained me rigid. -I can drink? -By Lella? Because by Lella? I? It give account you? That good of God... We leave it yet. The press says that the young people we make the love without taboos, without inhibitions... Why the journalists do not interview me? I them to say the truth, that never me as a spiral. Meanwhile, you do the love with the sister of the Left-handed person. -The sister of whom? -Of the Left-handed person. The Left-handed person... Brother Ia... Vetoes to the excrement, you joke but there is something does not fit. Clear that there is something does not fit. Lella is with you because your parents have money, have the bar. It is not truth, Lella is a good girl. In addition it does not matter, I want to me to Lella. Heavy what with that Lella. In short, what you need she is a woman. You love a woman for tonight? Yes, Yes. We provided to him a woman for tonight? Yes, proporciónamela I want it, please. How much money you have? Money? You have money? Me no. Delay, hopes... I have a currency. You do not worry. Sex is question of times and methods and if there are no them, Ios we invented. -Young lady? -20.000. Put a hand on the heart. Ah, no. By less than 20,000 there is nothing no to do. Allow me, I am Dr. Cicchirini of the University Clinica... Ah, yes? And what matters to me? One is a human case, a case that... only you can solve. Créame. It has come specifically to take the hair me? No, never it would make a thing thus, but it is precise that it comes with me. That it goes where? -To accompany. -Where? It does not touch to me. -The request, comes with me. -To where I must accompany to him. I will explain it. In the ambulance there is a young person of only 20 years... in touch between the life and the death... And what I can do? It watches in what state is. It sees it? Here he is.? How it goes? poor. Yes, poor, is in evil been. He is on the verge of dying. And it knows which are the words that continue repeating in their delirium? I love a woman. Before dying... it would want the incommensurable one to please to see a woman. It is right, poor He hears, you you would only have to do this: to enter there, to open themselves just a little bit, to embosom a little to him the legs... But... Do it, will make a good karma and tomorrow all the angels of the sky will sing your name. -Which is her name? -Brígida Bonazzi. Brígida Bonazzi. Yes, all the angels of the sky they will sing: "Brígida Bonazzi,..." Salt of there, salt of there. It enters there, enters there... Brígida Bonnazzi. Brígida Bonazzi. divine, it enters, Brígida Bonazzi, enters, enters, between... Ah, you, Brígida Bonazzi are very good. It will not do damage to him? No, it will seat to him either, it will seat to him very or. Oh, what pretty you are... You have paid attention? Small nose, small nose, small nose... Nothing is heard. In the end that son of puta fuck really. What is going to fuck that. -You are very bad? poor truth? -Who, I? Oh, there are lost the memory. Calm, now you will see. Yes, yes, I want to see. Well, slowly, first I clear this to me... You do not hear anything? Listening... -Thus, slowly? eh? -Yes. Yes, now you will see pretty legs. Thus... Thus... Fuck! Now you are going to see. It quiets, you do not move, I am in charge. -Let go. I do not touch myself. -It quiets. You do not resist. Quiet with those hands, If you are better than I, Eh, is passing something here. We are going to see. It quiets about that purse, I have not made anything, Help, Sight as it beats. Has done me one trap? you do not understand it? Help. You wanted to deceive to me, eh? displeased! They see here, pig. For already with that purse. Wretches, you are not going to help me? And you also. And you. Displeased. Antonio! -Antonio? Who is Antonio? -Damn it is, has called to the dandy. -It quiets. It quiets. -Larguémonos. They see here. -It starts, that comes the dandy. Damn bastard, children of puta. Children of grandísima puta. I am going to kill them. -You have seen what they have done to me? -What have they done to you? You know them? No. It was so Dr. Cicchirini, I do not know... I already am in charge, yes, yes. I already am in charge. Good night, Mr. Benito, where he has gone of party tonight? To where she wants that she goes, lady? That way, with the friendly. Ah, I know very well the youth of nowadays. Friendly, friendly, small orgy... It hears, by the one of the rent, still I am waiting for the heel of my aunt. She is really his aunt? Because the handsome boys always find some arranged to pay by them. My aunt has 70 years and it pays for the studies to me until the Medicine doctorate ever since a doctor discovered that he suffers 14 diseases and it makes happy giving a pile him of medecines. I know it. Already there is it to me counted. But although not outside her aunt, would not be anything bad. Because a true woman knows to give itself and in the bed it is not like the children of nowadays. I in the bed give everything it. One is bad? The belly hurts much to me. -It wants that it does a massage to him? -No. no. Hungry of love, it was observing to me... -Who is? -I am Italia. Step inside. Professor, is everything to point for the operation. Italy, Italia. They see this, see here. Closer. Professor the operation. They see, Italia, Country of saints and poets... You two, How graceful, it is the first time that you attend an operation? Yes, Doctor. Well. In first row. And that nobody dares to faint itself when begins to sprinkle the blood, or some other organic liquid. Far from it that it is happened to you to vomit. -The others can remain back. -Thanks, Doctor. Wash the hands. I do not want to impure people in the operating room. What? Good morning, Professor. Everything is to point for the operation. Well. These must be the novices. You have explained to them that if they must faint, they do that backwards? Because when I operate, short what it is put to me ahead. They have been warned already. Italia, the towel. Firm. Moroni.? Again here? How he is that? Professor, to attend to an operation hers it is like attending a concert of Rubinstein. Slight ball. Cicchirini, you have found to which it surpasses to you. Well, we are going to operate. We go. You. Here, here and here. Quickly, we go. Lay down on the operating table. You are going to me to anaesthetise? no? One does not worry. We already are. In question? Biliary vesicle. You want to see the x-rays? It does not matter. Once open, which does not go exempt it. A little while, it excuses... You quiet. The patient does not have to speak. It wants that to me it puts nervous and that it does a cut to him in zigzag? So that the biliary vesicle. You want to indicate to me where is? Ah... here. Wonderful. Perforation of the stomach hemorrhage and in half an hour bushes to the patient. congratulations. Stupid! idiot! More above. More above. Cicchirini. Moron I here to it say only. It seems to me right, Professor, nobody says "idiot" like you. Thanks, idiot. Well? we are going to find that vesicle or we postponed the operation for morning? Yet this mess, would be better. -Quit! -Quit! Well? want to indicate you to me where is the vesicle? Ah... here. Either, or. What cuts you would do? From here up to here. Thus? And how I am going to be able to rummage about with the hand? What happens, idiot? You have something to say? Want to operate you? No, no, Professor, was enjoying... with its words. It is not hour to enjoy. You do sexual activity that I want to begin to operate. Hurry up, to put to sleep If they do not extinguish the light there is no form to sleep to me. It pardons? Dr. Ciotti are you? -Why? It is not evident? -Yes, it is, only that I am afraid that I have been mistaken of operating room. What means? In fact, I have come by the hemorroides. Hemorroides? Hemorroides. Cicchirini, between the vesicle and the hemorroides, there is much route. We suspend during half an hour. Prepare, therefore I will do a new back tuna to him. A tuna new ass? Why, the old man is broken? They are misfortunes that happen, why to your sister. -Goodbye, Amadeo. -To you I do not salute to you. He is amiable... The cut practiced and the blood has been horrible. I say to you that it is not possible... Boys, you watch. Is not the dandy, that of there? The dandy? It seems a closet. That enormous one? He comes towards here. But, who is? We hope that he does not see us. I already am in charge to flee. Calm and caradura. No, calm and swollen face? you do not see as it is? Hello, Paulino. Dr. Sughirini... Ceggirini...? -Dr. Cichhirini? -Yes. He is there. He is. He is. With permission. When they act thus, it would give a beating them. It remembers that today we must go to gather the new car... -Dr. Cicchirini? -Yes? why? Brígida Bonazzi. A change sex? -Brígida Bonazzi. -She is not patient mine. It excuses. It matters to him, young lady? Thus it will learn to bother an honest worker of the street. What has done to him? We were in charge. Help, please. But, who is Brígida Bonazzi? Four Fernets Branca for the horsemen. Thank you. Strip, strip. You watch what handsome. You watch that teats and what ass. Mother mine! It is already enough, Alvaro.? What you do? They are going to us to stop to all by insult to the modesty. Desínflala already. Sight that curved, it is not looked like Lella? Alvaro, I will not get tired of decírtelo, you are rich, stupid and also a jerk. To the women it is necessary to deal with them with hand iron. Muéstrale to Lella the man that you are. So that I have decided that it is better than not we see more. If it is what you want... Pity, had made me a bikini of crochet for this summer and she wanted ensenártelo. A bikini? -Yes.? You want that it embosoms it to you? -Good, if you want... I am going to prove it to me, but you do not take advantage which my parents have gone away to Florence. And that does not return until this the night. And you do not watch to me by the eye of the lock. Absolutely. In agreement. It sees calm, I am "gentleman". -Certainly you do not watch to me? -I have said that no. to You. -I will do in a while. I go. -Please. You do not watch? eh? No, absolutely. I want that the things between us they are pretty, very clean, until the marriage. Soon all good will go, will be all normal one. You do not watch? eh? holy shit... Alvaro? what you do in the ground? Eh? I do... yoga. You like? Good... it is not bad... It is pretty, truth? yes. You like it or not? Good... enough... They see here. No, Alvaro, you do not do it. You said that you would not do it. You do not make case to all the nonsense that I say. -I said it to You? no? -When? What happens? -You are doctor? -Yes good, from time to time... You come with me. -Where? We arrives. My woman cannot sleep. She has many pains. -Dolores? -She suffers very many pains. She needs a purge. No, no. That way no. Between here. Visítela. It pardons... Bitte. At this point... I am going to see it. Bitte, -Who understands nothing? -Bitte, -How it is said? I will see? -Ah, ja, -Then, I undress. -Bitte? -you will undress? -Ah, ja, -Here? -Nein, -Here? -Nein, Where does it hurt? -Here? -Fuck! Ja, fuck, ja, You are not doctor. You are a lying one. Given account me immediately. I am not stupid, I am a German of Germany. No, you are an excrement German. All good, wanted? You are excited? Finally we can make the love, Today also we have found a bloody fool, You cannot come on a daily basis here. Why no? Because you stay as an idiot. And why I stay as an idiot? Because yes. In agreement, I go away. He is determined, I go away. But? to where you go? I go away. To where you want to go? He is determined, I go away. I go away. Since you have been decided, will you go with me also. Ah...yes. We go. Lets go. Yet this traffic, no longer can be crossed. It is truth. Slowly... -Sandro? you have bound? -No, it is that I... -What you do? We go, we go, lady. Where you are going to look for them? In the day-care center? The very ready one! You accompanied her to house? Eh, boys, Prof. Cicchirini has bought a new car. -No. -That yes. -I do not create it to me. -If you I to it say. We are going to let pass this opportunity? No. Boys, a question: Which can be the car of Cicchirini? I believe that it is the one with the canvas. Bravo! Right answer. -Goodbye, mother. -Paulino. Mother. I must go to me, we see you behind schedule this? eh? There am preparation to you meatballs to have dinner. Meatballs. Thanks, mother. Thanks. I will be on time. You have heard? My dear mother is preparation meatballs for me to have at dinner. I also will do them to you when we are married. It will not be necessary. She will do. What? I have not said it to you? We wanted give a surprise She will come to live with us. It does not seem to you a good idea? Clearly. But? you know? I thought that once married, we would be both single. Laura, here no. You already know gossip that she is the doorman. We go, hide. -Either they come, or they come. she will not bother to you minimumly, on the contrary, it will help you, in house does everything. She is insurmountable. Ah, yes? What time is it? Four and the average one. You want that it takes to house or to the consultation? But, how? I have postponed all the visits, we did not have that to happen together afternoon? I must happen through the clinic. Tomorrow Ciotti will visit in a moment. Ciotti, Ciotti. You are engaged with him or me? Laura, you are a girl. You do not understand it? If profit to enter in the clinic of Ciotti, you know what means for me? Yes, that you have the resolute life. You have often said it to me? and I? Laura, listens, first of everything, I will say to you that... Help. The new car has been stolen. No longer it is. It is not... Where it is? I want a x-ray of those of kidneys of that old man that is on the verge of dying. To thus I will operate him immediately. Also we must make the analyses of the 22... It excuses the delay, but I have had to happen by the deposit to gather the car, it already includes/understands to me, the crane had taken to it and... What wants that they concern his subjects to me? It seems to me just. To where we go? Oh, the one of the hemorroides? how is everything? -Professor, hurts eggs to me. -Those are cut easily. -No, I need still them. -In the other world. Oh, dear Sandokan? how is everything? Badly. Badly. Well, we see. Lack of appetite, weakness, diminution of weight, asthenia, you feel nauseous, vomits. And a pretty coloration bronzes. Disease of Addison. You know that you have much luck? Only there are a case each ten thousands. One each ten thousands. Disease of Addison. It hears? you know that when I am in critical moment me...? -You. You. The stomach. -Ah, very well, thanks. Yours no, cretino. The one of the patient. Ah, yes. Professor, he does not think that he is embarrassed? It seems to you the moment for joking? Cretino. It feels, feels. You see it? It is aerophagia. Who has been? I will take you to all before the Academic Senate, I will cause that they expel to you... By charity, Cicchirini, we do not begin, will have been the echo. Make me case, you will not regret... Damn Ah... is. -Sir, want to come in? -Yes, thanks. Come in, please. I know you. No, I do not think so. Yes. In the university, you helped me to put fiancee in a taxi, you were very amiable. You decide to me very well. Why have you come? I will see, I... -You want that I take a look at you? truth? -Yes. I am very badly. Please, Get undressed. -Also...? -Yes. Lie down. tell me? what happens to you? I have you feel nauseous, fatigue, lack of appetite. We are going to auscultate the heart. You seems to me a little excited. This tightens much to me.? It matters to him? Please. Thus I am more comfortable. We see. Yes, very it is excited It excuses. Nowadays, the bra, they make them very small. Thus it is well? We are going to see where hurts to you. Here? - No. Then? here? No.? Here? No? eh? Then? here? Strange what.? And here? Then, here. In fact, he is a little swollen. yes... Only there is a form to cure it. Sir? Sir? Sir? -The doctor is ready to see you. -Ah, yes, thanks. -Sit down, please. -yes. -You hears, does not remember me? -excuse me? I will see, I feel weak, tired, lacking in appetite... We are going to see. -Yes. -Come here. -Yes Get undressed. Thats good. You can remain seated. It is nothing, only a little exhaustion. -Then? -You are well. And that there is of the fatigue, lack of appetite and all that? One does not worry, take this and you will feel better. Good morning. -What do you want? -Sandro is in the house? -No, in fact, there is nobody. -In agreement, tell him that we will return. You hear, dear colleague, it would be better to wait for him here. I do not know if they would have... Young lady, I am Prof. Moroni, educational of "Endocrinoginecologentropia", -my assistant Dr. Ognissanti. -Yes, we are very important. -Come in, come in, please. -Thanks. Thanks. Please. Sit down, professor. Can I get you anything? Whisky. JB. -What you want to do? -You have seen that good she is? -Who, the chambermaid? -Handsome, young, ingenuous, ebullient... -The lady is not. -She is not... -She does not know you... -She does not know me... -Perfect! -keep quiet, she already comes. Thanks. -Young lady. -Yes? You often suffers migraine? From time to time. You feel nauseous, dispepsia, schizophrenia? Good, in fact... Sickness, pains to the legs? Why? I am ill? -It is possible. -It could be serious. Please, Professor, help me. We would have to examine you. -I undress? -You are not embaressed? -Good, in fact... -Young lady, we are doctors. We on a daily basis see a great amount of naked women. Good, then... Well, we will help you. -Lie down in the sofa. -Comfortable position. We are going to examine you. -Lie down, trust us. We undo this... -Everything, Doctor? -Yes, it is better. He already is... The next time, a bad zipper We come, you lie down anatomically, like tenth we. -It already is. -It already is. What thinks, colleague? I would begin by one "intramuslus rigidum". Previous or later? That depends on the availability of the patient. Exact. Tell me? It hurts here? -No. -All to regulate. Passive insensibility. here? -No... -No? What thinks, colleague? -Colleague? What thinks? -"Cachondum inmediatum". It is the same sensation that I have. I propose that we deepen. Yes. "Profundicemus, apropincuamus semper". "Aprovechemus". Now, you pay attention. Tell me, What notices here? to please or pain? -Good... for pleasing. -It is what I imagined it to be. An injection makes lack of "mine-dura". And of mine no? Yes, yes, carry out, carry out. Slight friendly you are. Benito! God mine, what embarrassed, "mine-dura". You can go away, young lady. First, ring up Ben. And secondly? what happens, no longer you accept jokes? No, nonacceptance stupid jokes like this one, because mother will tell itself it and trouble will be armed. -What happens, you are angry? -Yes. -By other reasons? -Yes. -By a woman? -Yes. -You have returned to the love. -Yes. -Jerk. -Yes. -Jerk. -Yes, Yes, Yes... Jerk. Disease of Addison: suprarenal insufficiency acute serious chronicle, bronzed coloration of the skin... Disease of Addison, Addison would wish, Addisoniche Krankheit, What cone says here? -Who is? -I can? Mr. Santarelli. What is this charade? How are you? A little lowered, they fail the forces to me, in addition, you see. you see. These are all the symptoms of the Disease of Addison. -Yes. -It is not possible! -Following. How you are called? -Mukendi Ngalula. -Mukendi what? -Mukendi Ngalula. What do you want? A skull. In order to have dinner tonight. Take care well. Doctor, is a call for you. Following. It says? Hello, Laura. Yes, you tell me, you tell me. I assure it to you, one is the Disease of Addison. You do not worry. If it is cured in time, it does not pass anything. You hear, is a human case. That poor man is counted everything to me, He does not have family, not even it has Social Security. In agreement, agreement. It hears, Laura, now I have class, already you understand to me... Yes, I understand. This one case does not interest to you. Well, I will do that they enter position to him. You do not worry, I will not take to the clinic of Ciotti. In agreement, yes. Goodbye. -God mine, I am bad. -What happens to you? I am bad. I have an infarct. -An infarct? -A ass infarct. -A ass infarct? -You are really vulgar. It is an infarct ass. -Its a joke. You do not get upset. -No, clear that no. If it passes a ass not it I can watch? We go, you make the peace. -I do not want. -It is truth what they say? -What? That you have chosen Medicine to study the birds. Then it had to make Veterinary medicine? no? Not them birds, "love birds", Those that flies around the asses. It is a old fashioned joke. We go, boys. Prof. Cicchirini he is on the verge of arriving. You hear, you who you know everything to it, I can bathe if I have diarrhoea? Yes, if you have much. We go, it is behind schedule. I always have much. Italy, Italia. Land of saints, poets, navigators. You goes, never had said it to me. Good, I first do not try to be. You hear, Moroni, you cannot be here, if you sees Prof. him Ciotti, trouble is armed. It does not matter to me, I assume the risk. And if it happens, I will say that it has been by love to ltalia. You stop, Moroni. By the way, one does not take advantage during the visits to touch to me... It does not say that. Itself I sound with you, with caressing the Alps to him... With seeing that wonderful Sicily, Calabria and Campania... With putting my head on those rich and prosperous Romans. And then, by the breach of Pia Porthole, to penetrate triumphally in Rome. Bravo, Moroni, honour degree in Geography. What has been believed? The university is not a gymnasium for its erotic exercises. Shame on you! And you learn to respect the nurses, those celestial beings who sacrifice all their life by the patients. They do not have to be used like vulgar prostitutes.! Get out! -pardons, Professor... -Outside! -Italia. Italy. Land of poets... -Professor. -Of saints, navigators. -What does? Now? -You already know that here you excites more to me. -If we are in the operating room. Indeed, wanted. As I announced to you, today you will see the recording of a apencicectomía realised by Prof. Ciotti the past times. I will be in charge personally of comentároslaa measured that... Moroni! Good morning, Professor. Please, you continue. Moroni, arrives behind schedule, interrupts to me, is entertained with the television... it is evident that for you the university you are a game, but it has a little at least of consideration for the others. I have only put well telly. Now that we are all, before describing the operation, I want to make some considerations that seem fundamental to me. In this apencicectomía, you will be able to notice the perfect technique used by Prof. Ciotti. Silence. There is no sound I know, it. Prof. Ciotti has elaborated during times this operating technique, until obtaining the perfection. The patient, has not been anaesthetised. Only locally, so that Prof. Ciotti it can have a frank and open relation throughout all the operation. Bravo. Bravo. He has been great. Go Ciotti. The conditions of the patient were ideal. In the previous days, the patient has been fortified with a suitable one... Silence! With adapting it cures vitaminic and anti inflammatory. Silence! Italia! Silence? You want to let speak to me! Silence! Silence! Prof. Ciotti... Professor! Silence, arrives the sound. Yes, bistoury, gauzes, mountain range.! Mountain range! Mountain range! Mountain range! Mountain range! Mountain range! Professor! I am occupied. But, it is urgent. Cicchirini, Go to the devil, I am occupied. The tele... I do not grant interviews. Professor, get away from the tele, they can all see you. They see that I. I am the greater surgeon of the world. Professor is tele of closed circuit. No! The great surgeon has been deceived. -All ready ones? We are going to do a serenade to him. -I will sing in Do. -All On guard. You in Re. I in Do and you in Re. Attention. 1, 2 and 3. Mountain range, mountain range. The Professor wanted the mountain range. Cicchirini cut the roll to him. And tomorrow we will see him by tele. Eh, beautiful. Italia. Viva Italia! Now they are going away to find out. Mountain range, mountain range. The Professor wanted the mountain range. Cicchirini cut the roll to him. And tomorrow we will see him by tele. -She throws water on Us. -Damn she is! Nonstrips water? This one is talking nonsense You do not like the serenades? We are artists. Now we are wet artists. -A moment, I have an idea. -What? Iros, wait for me in billiards, I are in charge. You wait for me there. Iros, iros. God, I am all wet. You enter? you are oxidized? -We do not have oil? -It closes and it starts. -Good evening, Italia. -Ah, Moroni, you are. Yes, you have to understand that they are only kidding and I have come to apologize. Créame. Of agreement, it happens, You are all wet. Thanks. I am going to dry you, give me the jacket. Thanks, you are very kind. -Sit down. -Thanks. -Thanks to take the annoyance. -One does not worry, dry. Thanks. I hope, hearing. Italy. When I saw you with Ciotti, I became crazy from jealousy. Moroni, stop it or I will make you regret it. Italia, You do not understand it that it makes time that I wait for each moment? -Moroni... -And now that we are alone... Moroni, be carefull... Italy, I wish you, you the very many desire. Moroni, the request, does not do that. But, how you dare? Beauty that I... No, you do not have to beat to me because I am terrible... Moroni, have I hurt you? Moroni? Moroni? Have i hurt you? Moroni? Little baby? Little baby? Little baby. Call me Ben. Idiot! -Eh, boys, you come here. -You arrive behind schedule. -Italia is done... -What said to you? The next time we will also do the Italians. You speak like a politician. Alvaro, if your parents speak with mine, we are of excursion? in agreement? Yes, we are all in Honolulu. You do not worry. The suntan oil! Here you have. It is it to me before. How I have left? I do not understand how you can lower like this. Ten, for fortify. Is it possible to be known who is that girl by whom arms as much trouble? Good morning, Mr. Santarelli. You are friends of him? No, we are of the S.L.R. Service Cleaning New born. Yes, those that leave bad we threw, them. What has happen to him? Notices some sharp pain? Where? Here? In the kidneys? Where it is? I pillaged it. The temperature is normal. What feels? Go, Go. Well, Doctor, we go away. Yes, we have an appointment in tanatorio. One has gone to him? It was not a real pain, it is an emotional reaction. It seemed to him that he was bad and he began to complain. But now it is under my cares. A series of analysis will be necessary, so that it is better so that it is better to drain the intestine completely, we are going to begin by a medicinal injection. -It does damage to me. -Shut up. Lady? there is something for me? Delay mail? Yes, of my aunt, by the one of the rent. One does not worry about the rent, we can reach an agreement. That is what worries me. By the way. It has called a friend of yours, a certain Sandro. He has said that it is very urgent, must call to him immediately. I have pointed its number here. -I can use your telephone? -Please, you can use everything you want. -The hand. -It pardons. yes, whats up. Benito, you must save me, you must help me. My belly. What? Higher speech. I do not hear you. I need the wee-wee the 22, the one of Sandokan, is urgent. What? wee-wee? wee-wee? ! Why I serve the wee-wee to you? Wee-wee Why I serve to you? For the analyses. It dates haste. Disgusting. Ah, for the analyses. The 22, Sandokan. Yes, in agreement. Sandro. Sandro.? What happens to you? The Toilet! Sight which is to do by a friend. At least, we will help him to throw it. What goes. It is the love. Sandokan. Tiger of Malaysia. make case, wake up. What happens? I go to take a sample of urine for the analyses. They have already taken it this morning. -New analyses, "Wasserman". -Wasserman? Yes, they are things that happen if it is not had well-taken care of. And if we made a cocktail? Yes, therefore we will give him a lesson. To prepare. -Benito! -God.? Who is? To your age, still beams those things? Good, in fact... General extraction of urine. To prepare. It advanced. Sr. Santarelli. -What happens? -What are you doing? You do not have to get tired. Go to the bed. What has happened? Nothing, nothing. I finish seeing the analyses. -The analyses? -Yes. -You are hiding something to Me. -No, Calm no. I do not want to die. Calm down, calm down. It must have an error, surely. help me, help me. Yes, but you must calm, you do not have to be altered. I only feel, I need much affection. But...! Mr. Santarelli! I am much scared. Why have you done that? I do not understand... -Call me Sandro. -Yes, yes, as you want. Thanks. Sandro... I must return to the work. Damn it is... -Lella.? I take you home? -No. Thanks. -You are angry with me? -No, what goes. Well, it raises, I take to house. I do not go to house. I am going to make practices to a house of a friend. A medical friend? -Why it interests so much to you? -Or a medical friend? And if outside thus? So that by your part, we have finished. You were wanted who it. In agreement, but I can run? no? -Until the shutdown of the street car. -In agreement. It starts, damn it. -It does not start? -No, it does not start. First you invite to me and soon it does not start. You had to fail to me indeed now? Eh! taken care of! -I do not touch myself. We go, Lella, only a little. -No. For here. -Let go of the hair. let it go! - You will never change. We go, only I have requested you a little kiss. -You kiss with the hands. -But, only with one. What do you want? -To where you go? They see here. We speak. It vetoes the devil. You have what you deserve. seductor! Damn it! Finally, you have arrived. From where you come? Of the university. -Again Alvaro? -Yes. You are really an idiot. You help me? How many times you take trying to tie to him? Two times. Two times? And above you have scored at Medicine to be near him. Without a doubt, a medical desire much, but until Alvaro finishes the doctorate... Good, to his parents they do not need money. Money. To the aim to the end, they only have a bar. But you know what bar is? It is a Sport Bar. -He of the place? -Yes, that same one. Ah, then he rich. I am not idiot. I have to him in the loose cord, I will not give anything to him until we marry. He is not handsome, but... It hears, I say it to you like expert, you you have future? you know? -Where it is? -There. Because in spite of being a fan, you are better than many professionals. Modestly... Gloria, here you have yours. Thanks. You help me? But, if you obtain to marry you with Alvaro... I will live like one lady. -Yes. Good afternoon, Senator, You have seen that we have gotten dressed as you like it? Very pretty! Precious! I am hoping to you with the full portfolio so that you make it to me happen well. Beautiful. He will see how we will try to him. Very well I am wishing, it. Today I am in form, girls. How much it is going to give to us, today? Today I feel more generous than ever. Sr. Santarelli! Get up. Get up! Mr. Santarelli, I have wanted to request the opinion of my colleague before making other analyses. To operate! To operate! To operate! So that wretch of Cicchirini me has spoiled it everything. -And you have played it to you. -Yes. I have played it to me. Boys? we are going to give him to a lesson to that swine of Cicchirini? -A double lesson. -We will occur it. You raise, we go there. We go. We go to by the punitive expedition. What happens? Help! Help! help me! They stop that crazy person! They do not touch to him, is infected. It is not truth. They are sadists. They see here, you will not escape to the Dr. Cicchirini. -Stop! -God mine! They are going to kill me. You are going to receive your dose of woods, displeased. Get of crazy, cheater. I am the Dr. Cicchirini! Cheater you will be it. One leaves! They see here. They see with the Dr. Cicchirini. -Help! Help! -Stop! Stop! Mercy! Mercy, Dr. Cicchirini. I pillaged to you. Now Dr. Cicchirini is going to give a lesson to you. To thus you do damage him. Away, old whore, I do not touch eggs. They see here.! Taking! We are going to chain you. Away, cheater! Old cheaters and putas, outside here. It is necessary to denounce to him. Also the other patients... do not kill all. Lift up, lift up, still you are healthy. You will already see tonight. I do not hold more! I do not hold more! Dr. Cicchirini, he has died. It doesnt matter, we put him inside and we take him to the morgue. They have killed him.! Assassins! We will denounce to him. We denounce to Dr. Cicchirini! -Yes? -Cicchirini? -Dr. Cicchirini. -Police. -Police? -We have an arrest order. An order? For whom? We go, walks, you do not resist. We go, assassin. Carrion. -But, I am Dr. Cicchirini. We know - It. Move. Mother! Let go. Mother! They do not touch to me. We go, walk. You do not resist. -You lower those hands. Mother! Paulino. I am the Dr. Cicchirini. Let go! Mother! I am innocent. -Poor little bastard... -It is a Judiciary error. How it is going to be a judiciary error? Paulino! Paulino! They are going away to cool meatballs. Son mine! Senorita. Whereupon expensive you return to appear? You have found another disease to arrange for me? No, no. Then, stop to bother me. By the way? You know nothing of an ambulance, of a patient who flees? No... Better, because my fiancee spent three days in the jail before clarifying the misunderstanding. If I discover who has been I twist the neck to him. Finally you have come, Alvaro. It takes a life to wait. They have taken half an hour to surround it. We go, we go, raises. By the way, I and you have put a card? Yes, yes. For the women, those romantic details are fundamental. Clearly, it is her birthday. You are sure we will find that she is there? Yes, I followed her without account occurred, you will see that it contents is put when she sees me. We go, if one does not melt. You will see that surprise. Good afternoon, I hope not to have mistaken, Im looking for Lella. Yes, she is here, it happens. I knew that she was making practical with you. Yes, it makes practical, anyway, she is very good, -she is an authentic professional. -Where is she? -She is with a client. -Alone? Yes, clearly. What is that package? A thing that to Lella she likes much. -You embosoms it to me? -No, no, it is only for Lella. What a shame, everybody needs incentive for their erotic fantasies. -Why you do not call to Lella? -She will be here, in five minutes. Five minutes? Not if it holds. Endurance, hold yourself. It is not necessary, already I feel... A small chill by the column? No, a great chill. In addition, one is going away to me to melt. -Then, it is very urgent. -It is what I am saying to him. And if Lella had to be late? It would be a disaster. Then I to me leave orders before she is too much behind schedule. Mother mine! In fact...! I am going to eat you! -A moment. Before, undress. -you quiet... How long you take in uninformed? Ever since I was born. By where one begins? Hey, Gloria... -Álvaro! -Lella! So that is your fiancee. You pick in your subjects. And what do you do here? I had brought you an ice cream for your birthday. What do you do dressed like this? You seem one whore. Alvaro, I... What I do with this? Not even I like. To the devil! Lella. -By the way? how much you charge? -Fifty thousands. Fifty and fifty do one hundred... Good, we go the three. Boys, it seems the Day of the Deceaseds, comes, animaos. -Always with your jokes! -It is possible that you never change? We go, Ciotti is going to begin the visits. Let's hurry! . -No, no, this way. -In agreement. Boys, the women are as they are, we do not have to create problems to us, we must amuse to us. I excuses, Professor, you have seen the young lady Italia? Why? Because I must put the injection to me. You have that to put the injection? The gentleman has that to put the injection. Ah, the gentleman must put the injection? The gentleman has that to put the injection. I have understood if you well, the gentleman must put the injection. Yes, that. You come with us, we will put. One does not worry, you will not feel any pain. We already are, happens. -That is, does not worry. -Bend down. Now you stand here, Lean here... a little more side... that is. Comfortable position. We open the buttock. -The ass. -The muscle Relaxes. Calm, we will put an unforgettable injection to him. That is, dont move... Quiet... Good, the analyses, are not of the best ones. -Dame the x-ray. -Immediately, Professor. This one is not a wonder either. It is clear, tomorrow we will make a small intervention and we will fix to him definitively. Contentment? Cicchirini, take care of the preparations. It neglects, Professor. -Oh, Professor. -You let me pass, young lady? Water... Well, we followed with the habitual injections. You are in charge, Ms Cappia... Cappa...? Cappi, Profesor. List. We made use to him, Doctor? It is already all preparation. -All ready one. -Calm. Calm... To this one it is necessary to operate to him emergency. Tomorrow no he can, happened is strike, Now comes the weekend, we will operate Monday to him. What happens? Who has died? You! -You have been! -No. - Much better, Donna. Thanks. Listen I didn't thank you how I should have yesterday. Going through all that with me at the hospital. It's okay. What'd your wife say when you told her what happened? Not too much, you know. Did you talk with her about taking walks? Yeah, we may do that. You didn't tell her. I didn't want to worry her. Besides, it turned out to be nothing. What happened yesterday wasn't nothing. The doctor said I should take the treadmill test but he doesn't think there's a problem. What the doctor said was, you're under extreme stress, you need to relax and he suggests taking long walks after work. Yeah, yeah. Look, I'm okay. I'm fine. Thanks. - Detective. - Thanks. My boss is leaving town. He wants to hear your prep on the Ortiz testimony. - He'll come here if necessary. - Yeah, all right. Tomorrow at 2:00? Tomorrow at 2. Is Stan Heywood there? Stan, John Kelly. I'm Robin's friend. I got something for you. Whenever you want me to drop it by. You know the Bowlmor Lanes? Okay. I'll see you there in a while. Good. - What's up? - I'm going to roust a couple guys. Well, let me cancel this. I'll go with you. - I'll take Martinez. - Andy, it's no problem. Don't worry, I'll take him. Those guys who took off that Vietnam vet? He's crippled. They left him lying there. - Let me go with you. - No, I'll take the kid. Okay. You gonna be all right? - Yeah. - All right. I'll see you later. HEYWOOD: John Kelly? Stan Heywood. Sit down, Stan. Why did you pick this place to meet? Well, I wanted a place you'd be familiar with. - Can I get some coffee, please? WAITRESS: Sure. - Thank you. WAITRESS: You're welcome. You don't know how I've been waiting for this. Listen, you see Robin before I do, tell her I really appreciate it. - Are you listening to me, Stan? - Yeah. Because you need to be very clear about something. Go ahead. This is not the beginning of anything. This is the end. Got no argument here. Look, I don't know what Robin told you about this but I made a couple mistakes, reference to some gambling. Believe me, I learned my lesson. I swear, Stan Heywood gambles no more. I swear to you, I really appreciate Robin helping me out like this. You finished? - Yeah. - I'm a cop, Stan. - Oh, God. - The only reason I don't bust you-- - I made a couple mistakes-- - I understand. Things happen. I won't pop you, because I haven't looked inside that envelope. If I were to find money in there, I'd pop you. So forget whatever you're thinking. You've committed a crime. If you ever approach Robin again, I will put you in jail. You understand me? Straight to Rikers. Yeah. Get out of here. MARTINEZ: All right, line up here. ERNIE: The guys who robbed me are there? They'll speak. Give me a number if you recognize a voice. - How did you find out about them? - Police work. Ready? Yeah. All right, let's go. "Stay in the corner and behave." "Stay in the corner and behave." - "Stay in the corner and behave." - Hold on a minute. Okay, go on. "Stay in the corner and behave." - "Stay in the corner and behave." - Yes. Number five. Ask him to laugh and say, "Or we'll punt you like a football." Number five, laugh and say, "Or we'll punt you like a football." "We'll punt you like a football." I can't pick anybody out. Is that all of them? Number six. - "Stay in the corner and behave." - No. Are you not lD'ing these guys, because you're afraid of them? - I'm not afraid. - You'll take care of this on your own? - Did Chicky give me up to these guys? - Which guys? I don't recognize anybody's voice. Don't make any mistakes here or do anything stupid. Don't tell me how to live my life. - Cut them loose. - All right. OFFICER: All right, this way out. MARTINEZ: Let's go. [DOOR OPENS] - Hey, Greg. - Hey, John. KELLY: How you feeling? MEDAVOY: Okay. You know, all right. John.... - Could I talk to you for a minute? - Sure. John, when you got separated, did you give that a lot of thought? Did you have it pretty well worked- out, what you were going to do? - It was her call. - It was Laurie's idea? Yeah. For me, you marry, you marry for life. Me too. You know, that's exactly me too. But when it happened I was so busy being pissed off and hurt, I wasn't listening. She was trying to tell me why she wanted to leave. But you know what? She was right. - We were miserable together. - Yes, I kind of feel that way myself you know, Marie and I. See a couple of months ago, we had this big set- to and I moved out for a couple of days. And I just found that-- I just couldn't imagine being separated. But I think I gotta really try to imagine it even with the kids, because we're really unhappy. I'm not telling you it's easy. It's not. I'm not having a great time. With you, there were no kids involved. That's true, and I do miss her. But the interesting thing is, I found out a lot about myself. I mean, it doesn't make you happy. Divorce doesn't make you happy. But in a weird way, it's made me eligible to be happy more than I ever have been in my life. Does that make sense? Yeah. I don't know if that will help you or what, but.... Yeah. It helps a lot. - Thanks, John. - Yeah. [COUGHING ] You gotten the cold from hell yet? - Maybe after we've spent time together. - Let's get through this. - They'll hit us hard on probable cause. - Let's do it. On October 7, did you have occasion to arrest Julio Ortiz? - I did. COSTAS: Tell us the circumstances. We had a search warrant authorizing us to look for controlled substances. On what basis had you sought the warrant? lnformation from a reliable informant, Joseph Gonzales. What transpired when you reached Mr. Ortiz's place? We knocked. We identified ourselves as police officers. After 1 0 seconds, we forced entry and found Mr. Ortiz standing in his toilet trying to flush 23 ounces of crack cocaine. I don't think you mean to say Mr. Ortiz was standing in his toilet bowl. He was standing in his bathroom, flushing the cocaine. What did you do at that time? SlPOWlCZ: We prevented him from destroying evidence gave him his rights, arrested him. Mr. Ortiz has stated that you broke down his door without warning. No, we identified ourselves, and then we gave him time to open the door. So you made no surprise moves to throw the ecology of Mr. Ortiz's apartment out of whack? - Did I miss something? - Yeah, me getting my balls squeezed. That'll be all. Thanks for cooperating. Thanks. [BUREAU CHIEF SNEEZES] What's wrong? He found out. - I got your message. WEXLER: You got my message? Get in. KELLY: What's the matter? I know about the 1 5 grand. Did you think they weren't going to call me about that? My accountant called me. The bank called him right away. What do you know about this guy, Stan-- ? Whatever his name is. Why are you putting John in the middle of this? - It has nothing to do with him. - Shut up. I'm asking him. I gave him the envelope, because she didn't wanna see him. WEXLER: Ever seen him before? - This guy is a bug. He's not the type you'd remember. You people must think I'm too sick to notice 1 5 grand. I still know what's going on around here. The cancer's spread all over. My liver, my spine. I'll get maybe a couple of months to live. - What? A couple of months? - A couple of months! That's the report I got! That's what I got! And then, John I get called about this check. Do you understand now about the check, Jimmy? She gave it to him for what? High school dues? Because he owed money to a bookmaker. WEXLER: So suddenly, she gave it to him because they were in the high school yearbook together. - You want some soup? - I don't care. I don't care. Johnny was she sleeping with him? If I'd have seen something like that, I would tell you. You think that maybe he was just an old friend? That's all there was? We didn't talk. He didn't seem impressive. I handed him an envelope. - He wasn't? - No. He's gone and he knows not to come back. You know, that would be just like her. You see, you know, always looking to help someone. I'm dying, John. - You okay? - Yeah. It's gonna be okay about this guy, so forget about it. - I let Jimmy down. - No, you didn't. He's gonna die now... - ...and he thinks I don't love him. - Listen to me, he knows you love him. And all he wanted was a little more time, where it didn't hurt so bad. And he's gonna get it. WEXLER: Robin? Yeah? WEXLER: You got my soup? KELLY: Go ahead, you'll be fine. Yeah, Jimmy, just a sec. [HELICOPTER BLADES whirring ] SlPOWlCZ: What's up? - Guy in a wheelchair. - He's got a gun on four hostages. - I know this guy. Let me talk to him. - Wait for the negotiating team. - You sure the guy's going to wait? SERGEANT: Get him a vest. OFFICER: Got it. Ernie Dowd! It's Detective Sipowicz! - I'm coming in, Ernie! ERNIE: I got no beef with you. We'll be done in here in a while, then everyone can come in. You got no problem with the bartender. Why don't you let the bartender out? Yeah, go ahead. - Put this on my tab. BARTENDER: Sure. SlPOWlCZ: Come on. I'm coming in, Ernie. You were over there, weren't you? Couple inches the other way, I'd be just like you. You gotta cut this out, man. They got guns out there. They don't know these three are assholes. - Push him on the floor. - Talk to me. Do it now. Push him on the floor. - You, kick him like a football! - My feet are tied. Ernie, talk to me! Talk to me, Ernie. Hey, pal. Come on, talk to me. Talk to me. I come in here after I saw you in the station house. I tell Chicky, "Hey, there's no hard feelings." You know, it's worth a thousand to get my wheelchair back. She gets me in touch with her friends. SlPOWlCZ: I don't care what happens to them. But if they're hurt, you'll wind up either dead or in jail. - So what? - So your room is bad, jail's worse. - Well, that leaves dead. - No, I don't want that. I've seen too many good men go down. Do you want a drink? It's on the house. I can't, Ernie. I'm a drunk. Everybody's got their battles, Ernie. ERNIE: Push him on the floor. - Ernie. Tell him you're going to punt him! SlPOWlCZ: Ernie, listen to me. - What? - Was there anything good? - What do you mean? If you stop now and nobody gets hurt, you won't have to go away. But before any of this, was there anything good in your life? Yeah, I had my chair set up how I wanted. Chicky and me had some things worked out. All right, you got your chair back, and I'm going to put Chicky in jail but I never noticed any shortage of whores in town. Now, come on, Ernie. What do you say, huh? Come on, Ernie. Come on. Just take it easy. Just relax now. Come on. That's it. And he has to absolutely speak to me? Okay, I'll be right down. KELLY: You okay? - Yeah, thanks. How you doing? No fun busting this guy. I think he's gonna get ROR'd. - The booking's clear. - Thanks. DONNA: Detective, here's your file. - I gotta take you to get fingerprinted. - Thanks for the coffee. - No problem. Good luck. Can't push the chair. - Hey. LAURA: Hey, Johnny. KELLY: How was the ski trip? LAURA: Oh, yeah, it was fun. - You knock them dead? - I never got you out there. That was always a big regret for me too. - Does Greg Medavoy seem off his game? - Why? He seems a little depressed. - Yeah, he's got a domestic situation. - Oh, yeah? Do you want to go out for dinner? - Sure, what's the occasion? - No occasion. - Okay, your call. - Tonight? - Fine. - I'll talk to you later. See you later. Martinez will be with you at arraignment. We think you'll get a recognizance release. He'll see you home. It's better if you carry me down. Yeah, the chair nearly went over coming up. Let's pick him up. Jack, grab this chair. We'll meet you downstairs. All right, there we go. You okay? I'm getting lots of experience at this. First, Detective Medavoy, now him. SlPOWlCZ: You holding up okay? ERNIE: Yeah. - Jack, just set the chair there. JACK: All right. SlPOWlCZ: Thanks. - No problem. SlPOWlCZ: All right. James, you want to give me a second here? Sure, let me get the paperwork. You okay? Yeah. You got my card, you know, if you feel like talking. You feel like talking? I can't remember most of it, being over there. I don't want to remember it either. SlPOWlCZ: Good luck. James. Counselor, can I have a word with you in private? I want us to be square about that fish. Andy, I don't think we're going to make it. You know, I got this one Pseudochromis a pain in the ass fish of all time. If I move a piece of coral two inches, he won't eat, he don't socialize. If I change his food mix a bit he acts like you're a heinous criminal. - This fish aggravates me so much-- - What's the point? The point is that someone has to ask themself: "Is the fish worth it?" That's what it comes down to. Is it worth the aggravation, his pain in the ass ways? You're not a fish. You are a person, and you can talk. I should have expressed myself better. I should have said: "It makes me nervous, you giving me something." And,"I'll get used to it, though." And,"Thank you very much." How am I communicating? Good. - Who did you go up there with? - Just some friends. - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. You asked about Greg today. - His marriage has problems? - Yes, he was asking what it was like to be separated. If I was glad, did I do the right thing? - What did you say? - That it was tough. That I was unhappy, but if I got a shot at something again I might be able to do something with it. I've learned a lot too. And I know what you mean, feeling like you'd take better advantage if you had another chance. Johnny, I'm seeing someone. - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. I guess I'm telling you because-- I guess because it's getting serious. Who's the guy? He's a doctor. [BEEPING ] You know what? Let's do this another time. - Sure. - Okay? Okay. - You okay? - Yeah. I have to take this. - You got a minute? - Yeah. Okay. EDIE: You look incredible. Let me look at you. You're all set. I'll get the hors d'oeuvres. - What's going on? - We need a best man. You mean right now? You think it's a mistake? Absolutely not. Come on. EDIE: Hi, John. KELLY: Look at you. Johnny's here. KELLY: Hey. WEXLER: Hey. - You sneak. - Gonna stand up for me? KELLY: Stand up for you? Come on. I can get up. Come on. WEXLER: I helped get that bum elected. KELLY: I know. I'm under instruction to make this brief. The drive- through version. But I want to say how happy I am to be performing this ceremony. WEXLER: I look all right, John? - Perfect. Aces. You know, this was her idea. I mean, she wanted to do it. The kid loves me, so why not do it? Whatever time there is, huh? I'm with you, Jimmy. - Are we ready to go, Jimmy? - Yeah, I've been ready for 1 4 years. - She's the one that's had cold feet. - Go on. Robin Wirkus, do you take Jimmy Wexler to be your lawful wedded husband? I do. JUDGE: Jimmy, do you take Robin to be your wife? - Absolutely. - Congratulations. Kiss the bride. I don't need no instructions from you. NARRATOR: Previously on NYPD Blue: KELLY: What is he doing? -Hold it. -Larson's blowing it. Come on. It's your ex, making it look like I screwed up. Wanna start a squad-room brawl? How bad do you want to hurt yourself? Want me to come to your place tonight, and I'll make us some soup? Tonight's not good. Medavoy's ring wasn't off when he tried to get Miss Abandando... ... whoyoutoldmewasmorelikely to be going out with Martina Navratilova? Morning of the big night, Andy? Are you ready for me to come over? -Listen, I gotta tell you something-- FANCY: Morning. -Good morning. How you doing? FANCY: Fine. -You won't believe it. I hardly can. -What, Andy? I know with our history, you'll think I made this up-- Andy, what? Now, an incident has occurred at my apartment. lt's not fit for visitors. -l don't believe this. -You wanna know what happened? -No. -Hey, John, good morning. I've heard about fungus in the fish tank, dangerous tiles-- You want to know what happened? Yes or no? What happened? Well, I have a very bad gas leak. Now, I called the gas people. There is no way I'm gonna feel comfortable exposing you to danger. -We're back to square one? -We are definitely not at square one. I want you to come to my place. I told you. I turned that corner. I'm looking forward to it. I'm a changed man. I have a dangerous leak. That's all we're talking about here, now. You want some advice, Andy? Get it fixed. WOMAN: Mike? Roberts? -Mike Roberts around? I gotta see Mike. DONNA: He's not here. Mike? -Hey, Roberts. -Excuse me. DEE DEE: Get your ass out here. -Dee Dee? -Remember me? Detective Kelly. -Yeah. I remember you, detective. KELLY: Come here. -Should I call Detective Roberts at home? -You know this isn't cool. -Maybe Connie, his wife, will answer. -You gotta do me a really big favor. -What's that? Mike promised to get me money. I can't get in touch with him-- -That's not how this works. -But if I could borrow $20, I promise- l will give him your message. -l gotta get up. I don't have any money. -l'm gonna give him your message. -No. No, no, no. That's not good. You think I'm only his snitch? You think that's what I am? I'm not. I'm his round-the-world girl. I'm his whore. -What the hell's going on? -You got a visitor. Hi, Mike. -You're not supposed to be in here. -l haven't seen you for three days. Let's call Connie. Yeah, let's call Connie. Yeah, you know. Hi, Connie, this-- SlPOWlCZ: What's wrong with you? DEE DEE: No, wait. That's enough! I want her out of here. DEE DEE: No, no, wait! KELLY: She's leaving. -Roberts, my office! -Don't blame this on him. FANCY: Get her out! -Mike, will I see you later? Steroid Roy -You need to be within rules with her. -l know how that looked. -l know that looked bad. -You hear me? I heard. I'd remind you this girl made a big case for us. Let's not forget she's a good informant. -You need to be within rules with her. -Of course I am. You kidding me? I mean, junkies... . What are you gonna do? You wanna know the truth? I think treating her like a person, the kid's in love. You know, maybe she's in love with the possibility of something solid. I'm what she aspires to, a role model or something. Because if you're crossing the line, then it's you who's messing up. Yeah. I hear you, lieutenant. LARSON: Hey, I gotta talk to you. LlCALSl: Okay. -What's going on, Janice? -Nothing. Then how come the duty roster's paired me with Sackler? Because I asked for a new partner. -lf it's because I blew that undercover-- LlCALSl: No. LARSON: Then what? I don't think you are a safe or reliable partner. -l can't believe I'm hearing this. -You want it straight? -You have a substance abuse problem. -A what? Substance abuse? is that what your friend Kelly's saying? Okay, Roy, why don't we just drop this, okay? This is not about Kelly. And the thing I said, maybe I'm wrong. All I know is that I'd feel... ... morecomfortablepartnering with somebody else. -l can't argue with that. -No hard feelings? No. Look, since we're not gonna partner... ... thatclearstheway for us to get together socially. You really don't get this, do you, Roy? Listen to what I'm saying. I don't wanna have anything to do with you. SlPOWlCZ: Hey, Laura. -Hey. KELLY: Hey. -Hey, John. -How's it going? -Good. Could you do me a favor? -Sure. -On the Garcia homicide... ... couldyougetstatements on the husband and wife? -l thought I put three in there. -You did. You got three documents of spousal abuse. A woman confesses... ... shestabbedherhusbandafter he beat her. Why more statements? Something isn't right. Her lawyer's ready to plead manslaughter two. That's the worst she'd do. Something's missing. I don't agree. Before the trial, I'll reinterview like I do on every case. -l don't think there'll be a trial. -Tell your boss you want to go to bat. I think he'll deal anyway. So because you won't stand up to your boss... ... Ihaveto go reinterviewfor awoman who admits she stabbed her husband... -... andthreeneighborssay hebeat her? -Yeah, that's what I'm asking-- -Are you asking me or telling me? -l was asking you. What are you trying to turn this into? Okay, gentlemen, could we put a hold on everything... ... andgetstatements on the Garcia homicide... ... sothedistrictattorneyiscomfortable presenting the case? Satisfied? Thanks for being such a prick, Johnny. -Son of a bitch! COSTAS: If I got a buck every time... ... acoptriedtogetme,I'dberich. It's not personal. -That was personal. -Well, you stood your ground... ... heactedlikeanasshole. What else is new? Not a thing. KELLY: Mrs. Dupree, we'd like to come by and ask you some more questions. Tomorrow morning. Can I send the detectives by? No, Mr. Fuentes, we wanna talk to both of you. Well, when will she be off? Tomorrow morning? We'll be there before noon. Thank you. -Kelly, you're up. Apparent suicide. -Two-man job, lieutenant? Yeah, go ahead. Medavoy... ... wegotan apparent,urgentsuicide. I'm gonna have to kiss these Garcia calls over to you, okay? Delighted. SlPOWlCZ: This the only door? There's no forced entry? DEVLlN: I'll know once I open her up, but I'll call it four or five hours. Oh, man, you know who this is, don't you? SlPOWlCZ: Roberts' snitch. KELLY: Yeah. SUPER: All the time, I get complaints. Nothing but trouble. I get complaint. Water leaking from the ceiling. Who pays for this? I come up. I bang on the door. Banging, no answer. SlPOWlCZ: Wait outside till we're ready. Why her boyfriend don't tell me? Water come. -What boyfriend? SUPER: Cop guy. -Cop guy, huh? Cop guy in a uniform? -No, like you. -Wonder who that is. -Would he know about the water? He was here. I see him leave. A half-hour later, complaint. -This cop guy got a name? -Mike. Mike... . I don't know last name. Once, they fight. I come ask for quiet. -He show me his badge. KELLY: Fight a lot? SUPER: Few hours before, I hear them. SlPOWlCZ: Today? Yes. First he go, then he come. Then I see him leave again, half-hour later-- l know, the water's coming down through the ceiling, right? [DOG BARKS] SlPOWlCZ: Take it easy. SUPER: Shut up! Go to pound. -No. They'll put it down in a pound. -Down, up. No dog allowed. -l tell her 20 times! -l'll take the dog. The dog's not going to a pound. You got a green card? -You want to see? -No, get out of here. Take off. SUPER: He's crazy. What that has to do with my green card? Ridiculous. -We better go talk to Roberts. -Let's tell Mike. Like he doesn't know. Poor kid. I tried to straighten her out. i mean, I really tried. -l even prayed for her. You believe it? -Talk about last night. I saw her a lot, you know, maybe too much. Maybe I even loved her a little, even, you know, like... ... takingcareof herand everything and making sure she was safe. -That kind of love, know what I mean? -Last night, Mike. ROBERTS: What about it? She died. -When did you see her last? Yesterday. I saw her with you guys. You guys saw. You didn't see her after that? Hey, what are we, gonna go bare knuckles here? -What do you want me to say? -Start with the truth. The super saw you leave her apartment before water came through the ceiling. Let me ask you a question. What question did you just ask me? What was the question you asked me? When the last time you saw her was. I told you the last time that I saw her alive, right? -When I saw her after, she was dead. -Why didn't you call it in then, Mike? I had a couple of changes of clothes and shaving stuff in the apartment. Where's the stuff now? It's in my locker, John. Couple of shirts and some shaving stuff. Come on, let's go. SlPOWlCZ: Come on. KELLY: Let's go take a look. Beautiful, beautiful. Great. That's beautiful. Embarrass me in front of the department. Great! -Nobody's gonna embarrass you. ROBERTS: Yeah, right. -What's it look like? -l don't know. -He deny the super's story? -Says he was there after she died. -Only time he was there. -Believe him? Says he picked up his personal effects. What about the super saying they fought? -We're gonna work on that in a minute. -John, this guy gets zero rhythm. Zero. Razor, shirts, couple of pictures. Which would kind of be what I told you, right? -You were only there once? -Right. -Super says you were there twice. -Let's break that down. Super says I was there twice. He's a liar. Says he heard fighting. Maybe he did. She had scumbag friends... -... that'swhysheworkedforus. -We're getting different stories. You say you were not there before you went to pick up your stuff? -Correct, for the second time. -You altered a crime scene. You admit lying about it. Hey, John, don't talk to me like some street skell here. You guys want to screw me for this, you go ahead. I'm done talking to you. -Yeah? MEDAVOY: Mrs. Fuentes? -Yes. -Detective Medavoy. Detective Martinez. -Your husband spoke to Detective Kelly? -Oh, yes. Please come in. is your husband at home? [SPEAKS in spanish] Morning, morning. Would you like a cup of coffee? No, no, no, thanks, Mr. Fuentes. We just want to go over what you told the detectives the other day. -l told those guys everything I know. -You were home alone? Right. My wife works afternoons. I work at night. I'm a cook. It says here that you were at home, you could hear Mr. and Mrs. Garcia... ... arguingallday, then there was a scream. You ran into the hallway and... ... Mr.Garciacameout ofhisapartment with the knife in him... -... collapsedinyourarmsanddied. -Exactly. And Mrs. Garcia said she stabbed her husband? -That's correct. -You weren't home? -l was at work. -Were you friends with Mrs. Garcia? We didn't socialize. We keep to ourselves. What's the problem? Why are you asking questions again? -To be sure statements are accurate. -Everybody knows she stabbed him. He beat her up, she took her revenge. -They're gonna lock her up for that? -That's up to a jury, sir. But she's behind bars? She's not getting out, right? -What kind of bail? -That's up to the judge. A woman like that is a danger, like the one who cut off her husband's dick. These are the people they lock up and throw away the key. That should do it. Thanks for your time, Mr. Fuentes. MR. FUENTES: Sure. -Mrs. Fuentes, gracias. You'll let us know if she gets out on bail? Notify us somehow or another? Yeah, sure, we could do that if you want. Yeah, sure. -Anyway, thanks for your cooperation. -Sure. SlPOWlCZ: Yeast infection? How much is that gonna cost? I spent a month in the hospital, it didn't cost that much. How old is this dog, anyway? You think he's gonna live for a while? All right, okay. is there any chance that this could be a special dog... ... maybea purebred,anything? No, it wouldn't, huh? All right, well, you got my Visa, go ahead and treat the dog. -How we doing on those supplementals? -Okay. -Listen, I'm sorry I hung you with that. -No, forget about it. Actually, this one witness, Fuentes... ... webothfeltthathehadmoreto say, you know... ... likehewasembarrassed in front of his wife. -Martinez is calling him up. KELLY: Wait a minute. Fuentes. I interviewed the guy. He seemed okay. -Yeah? It's probably nothing. -Well, let me know, okay? Yeah, sure. Mr. Fuentes, it's Detective Martinez. My partner and I got the impression maybe something was bothering you... ... maybeyoufeltuncomfortable talking about it. We thought you might want to come in and talk, like, private, man-to-man. Okay, good. You work nights, right? Well, how about tomorrow morning? Great. All right, just ask for Detective Martinez or Medavoy. Beautiful. He's coming in. You think Roberts offed her? He's an asshole. We know that. Whether he committed a murder? We'll get the toxicology. We'll find out. Big night? Sylvia coming over? You're not going to believe what happened. I gotta tell you that. -What are you laughing at? -Problem with the apartment? That's an attitude I don't appreciate. As it turns out, I got an-- l do have a problem at my apartment. -A gas leak. -l didn't say anything. But what's that? What's that goofy grin for? What, you think I'd destroy my own gas installation? It's gonna get repaired. It may take a few days... ... butyouknowthe way thingsare with utilities. Hey, the point is, is that I'm ready for her to come over. Good. I'm glad to hear it. Good for you. Yeah. Great, the Amazing Hulk. Detective, I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have gotten in your face. I was out of line. -No problem. -Bygones be bygones? Yeah. I was thinking maybe you'd put in a good word for me with Janice Licalsi. If she knows we're cool, she might let me up. -She put in to ride with someone else. -l think you need to talk to her about that. Mm-hm. Okay, no problem. Give me 20 minutes a day, I could get you tightened up in a month. -l'm tight. -Your pectorals are okay now... ... butyoudon'tworkthem , in 5 years, they'll be at your knees. -The train's moving on that track. -What are you, mid-30s? No reason for it. Doesn't have to be that way. -Thanks for the advice. -lt's not advice, it's fact. As you get older, everything gets hairier, wider and closer to the ground. A few leg lifts, some other techniques, you avoid... ... anassthat'sanembarrassment. Let me work on him, Roy... ... seeifIcan get him tocome tohis senses. Our bodies are our temples. What'll it take to drop a gorilla net on him? -This guy is on something, Andy. -My vote is speed. You wanna sit on a butt like cottage cheese, be my guest. I'll sit on this. You got to admit, lieutenant, the guy's got a hell of a muscular ass. Hey, detectives? That's Dee Dee Santini's mother. -Sorry for your loss, Mrs. Santini. -My name's McBride. My daughter's name was Santini. At 1 6, she married a punk named Santini. This is my Dolores, and she'll always be McBride to me. Let's sit down. Come on, sit down. -What can we do for you, ma'am? -l want to show you some things. This is her high school graduation. She did excellent in school, the Sisters said. Got good grades, was in every club. She was quitting drugs, you know. She promised our priest. What else you got there? is that a diary? Do either of you have children? Yeah, I got a boy. Are you close to him, detective? -Not at present. -Something happens that's not right... ... youknow. You know about your kids. -Yeah, I guess you do. -l knew. Even before I read this... ... Iknewshewas involvedwith someone who hurt her, some married bastard. She tried 20 times to split up with him, but... ... shewasweakbecauseofthedrugs. This time, she promised Father Kelleher. She was ready this time, and this bastard took her chance away. Can we see this? MCBRlDE: Here, read this. It says it right here. "Mike says if I leave him, he'll kill me. He says if I'm going to call his wife again, he's going to kill me. " She read to me from this. She gave this to me. Look, listen. "l am definitely going to quit drugs. I am definitely going to change my life with Father Kelleher's help. " I'm telling you, this son of a bitch killed her, this Mike. I begged her to tell me, but she refused. His last name's not in the book. This is gonna be very helpful. So it's not a suicide. This girl was murdered. -You read how she was gonna quit drugs? -Thank you for giving us the diary. -You have leads? -Yeah, we're working on things. You find this Mike. He murdered my little girl. -You wanted to see me, sir? -Yeah. I want you to go over to Health Services and take a drug test, officer. -A drug test? What for? WALLENBECK: For cause. Lieutenant brought facts to my attention that warrant it. -l don't get this. -You have a problem? No, sir, absolutely not. I got nothing to hide. I would like to know who's spreading rumors about me. -No one's spreading rumors. -Health Services expects you. -lf you got nothing to hide, not to worry. -Yes, sir. You know where you're going? Lefrak City? Yeah, I know where l'm going. Hey, Janice. -You and your boyfriend got me. -l don't know what you mean. Well, I got a hot flash for you. You don't got dick. I'm gonna ace the drug test and take the results... ... andshovethemupyour chicken-hearted boyfriend's ass. What did Dee Dee's mother want? Look, let's talk in the interview room, all right? I hope you're not paying attention to what she says. According to her... ... DeeDeestillhad her cherry. A stone junkie. She still thought her daughter ran around in a convent school uniform. I wish you didn't leave messages at my house. Connie's worried. You were down to work. We tried reaching you. What are you gonna do? More "rub Mike's nose in it"? "How could Roberts mess up on procedure?" -Procedure? -l got overinvolved with a snitch. It's not a hanging offense, is it, guys? Hey, do I need a PBA rep or a lawyer? I thought seven years working together counted for something. lt doesn't. In her diary, you threaten her life. Said you'd kill her if she calls your wife, which we heard her threaten. KELLY: Tell us what happened between you two before she died. What are you saying? You think I killed her? What she put in a diary you take above my word? Everything that happened that day, Roberts. Now! -l told you. -The super says you were there twice. The super says. The snitch says in her book. What about what Roberts says, huh? All right. I was there before she died, okay? Okay? And I brought her something. I was desperate to break it off with this girl. What happened, Roberts? Now! I bought her a bag of quinine. I brought her a beat bag, looks and tastes like dope. She's not going to know it's not dope until after I leave. I needed to talk to her. I needed to tell her how things were gonna be. She wasn't gonna listen to me unless I did... . Unless I gave her something. So I gave her the stuff, told her we were done... ... shefreaksout,thisandthat. I'm gonna do myself in. Believe me, for her that was like going to the crapper. That's how many times she threatened that. And that's it. I broke it off with her, and I left. Why did you go back, Mike? Because I was worried about her. Because exactly what I was afraid of actually happened. I get there... ... she'sdead. The little dog is there. I used to go over there on Sundays, you know... ... bringthepaper... ... coffee. I used to bring a bag of bear claws. That little dog used to beg in front of me for them bear claws. I loved that little dog. I loved that little dog. [MARTlNEZ SPEAKS in spanish] I'm okay speaking as we are. MEDAVOY: Mr. Fuentes, when we came to see you yesterday... ... youseemednervous about Mrs. Garcia making her bail. You told us that you and your wife don't know her very well. So, what are you concerned about? You know her a little better than you said? I'll tell you everything, but you can't use it to incriminate me. I gotta ask you something. -Do you want to have a lawyer here? -No lawyer. I didn't do nothing wrong. Why don't you tell us what's on your mind? -l had relations with Mrs. Garcia. -What kind of relations? You know, intimate, virile. I couldn't help it. She fell in love with me. Her husband worked all day. He'd come home at night, drink, beat her. Coño, you know, she has needs. You're home during the day, work at night. My wife's a good woman. I love her. But Luisa Garcia estaba bien caliente. It was a passionate affair. I knew it was wrong. What am I supposed to do? Said she'd kill her husband, I should kill my wife so we could live together. I just let it go. I thought it was talk. The next thing you know, lo mató, Mr. Garcia is dead. She did it. Son of a bitch. But I'm still thinking that she did it because he was beating her. -This is when I talked to your detective. -Detective Kelly. Yeah, yeah. Then she gives me a call three days ago. She calls me from prison, right? "l did my part," she says. "Now you gonna do yours. " That's why I was upset when you came over. Now I realize that she's crazy. She says she murdered him so we can live together forever. -Your wife knows nothing about this? -l confessed. -She knows I'm here. -You did the right thing. I had to. What about if she gets off on bail? She's angry with me, the next thing you know-- SlPOWlCZ: Yeah. -M.E.'s office says Devlin's on his way. -Toxicology? -He didn't say. MEDAVOY: Hey, John? Have a seat, Mr. Fuentes. That witness, Fuentes, in the Garcia homicide? He says him and Mrs. Garcia were having an affair. -That's why she did the murder. -l missed that? MEDAVOY: You didn't. After your interview... ... thewomancallsfromprison,saysshe did her part, now he's got to do his. -That takes it to murder. -Yeah. -Give it to the DA? -Martinez is making a call. -Way to go. -Yeah, thanks. MARTlNEZ: It's Martinez, calling about the Garcia case. KELLY: Laurie was right, Andy. -Uh-huh. -My shoes are about to be squeezed. SlPOWlCZ: Bigtime. DONNA: Here you go, detective. The vet said to limit her exercise and give her this medication. SlPOWlCZ: Thanks for picking her up. -lt was expensive. -Yeah. -What's she got, anyway? She's afflicted with a complaint, you know, a female-dog type of thing. What's the full-court press on Santini about? They got mail service now. -What did you get off toxicology? -This girl was a suicide. Trace amounts of narcotics in her system, not enough to stupefy anyone... ... letaloneajunkie. She pulled the bag over her head. Otherwise, we'd have found signs of struggle, resistance. -The mutt from her apartment? -Yeah. -She's as much of a mess as that girl. -Hey, you ain't exactly Clark Gable. -John, what did the M.E. say? -Suicide, Mike. -l told you I was clean, right? -Yeah, you did. That's right, I did. Yeah, squeaky clean, Roberts. LAURA: Yeah, thanks, I'll see you upstairs. Hey, congratulations on that Garcia homicide. -Thanks. -Yeah. I was flat wrong about that. -l didn't have my crystal ball. -You were dead right. Yeah, well, I'm glad it worked out. Nice job. Thank you. -Think that got you out of the woods? -Yeah, I'm romping in the fields now. [KNOCKS] ROBERTS: Hey. This won't take long, Roberts. M.E.'s finding was suicide, right? He didn't have doubts? I read the report on the Santini case. I talked with Sipowicz and Kelly. I also read her diary. That's pretty sad reading. I never actually gave her any drugs, right? What I read in that diary made me sick. Lieutenant, let's remember she was a junkie, huh? -lt's not like you can take their word. -You took control of a weak... ... suffering,dependentperson. You beat her. -You made sexual use of her-- -But I didn't kill her. I didn't kill her. Which is what I understood this inquiry to be all about, right? I mean, you don't see anything criminal coming out of this, do you? -You put in for retirement. -l need three years for full vesting. Today! I don't care what you lose in vesting or in benefits. I won't have you in this precinct or pass you on. You fight me... ... I'llturnthepackageover tolad with a recommendation to dismiss. I'm gone. Fancy iced me. Told me he'd smear me if I fought him. I'm sorry, Mike. ROBERTS: I'll get hurt in vesting, at least I'll get partial pension. Maybe it's for the best. Wife's coming up. Got the middle daughter in a ballet recital. You know, used to come a time if I went to this recital... ... I'dhavemyselfpaged,find an excuse to go over to Dee Dee's. Now I get to see the whole dance of the Enchanted Field Mice, whatever it is. You want to see me? You get those test results back? Close the door, Larson. Let me have your gun and your shield. What for? Your tests came back with multiple positives. Steroids-- Hold it. Now, steroids are not on the banned-substances list. Methamphetamines are. There is no way I tested positive for meth. That's gotta be wrong. Testing's sophisticated now. Can't cover your tracks with sudafedrin. You're terminated as of tomorrow. You report to 1 Police Plaza... ... forout-processingin themorning. Your gun and your shield. This is a setup. If you think that I am gonna sit still for this, you are crazy. I am gonna get a lawyer, and I'm gonna sue your asses. You have two guns listed. Give the other one to the sergeant before you leave. You people haven't heard the last of this. -Good night. -Night. KELLY: You okay? There's an adversarial relationship between DA's and detectives. I accept that. But when I asked you to do the supplementals... -... youmadeit personal. -l did. I was out of line. -lt got like old times. I won't let-- -You shouldn't. I thought it's okay we work together. I thought-- lt's working out great, okay? Just seeing you around here... ... takinganinterestinpeople,doing your job. lt's great seeing you. Seeing you smile. Are you flirting with me? No, I was... . Can I get back to you on that? -Good night, guys. KELLY: Night, lieutenant. SlPOWlCZ: Hey, Laura. LAURA: Hey. Hey, John, listen, I got that gas problem fixed in my apartment. -l'm having a visitor over. -Have a great time. Oh, yeah. lnteresting-looking dog you got there. SlPOWlCZ: She's getting antibiotic treatments. lt dulls her coat. -Good night, fellas. -Sarge. LARSON: Hey, Kelly! -What? -You're a real bushwhack artist. KELLY: What are you talking about? -You gotta hide... ... behindyourlieutenant, saying I got a drug problem. -You brought this on yourself. LARSON: You cost me my job, you prick! Hey, Roy, take this outside the station house, okay? Go outside, get it off your chest. Better than doing it here. I'm gonna kick his ass, then your ass. If we go, we're gonna go. Hell of a fall. Floor can be pretty slick this time of year. Come on, pup. Okay, people, come on. The party's over. [knocking ] Hi. Come on in. Have any trouble finding the place? -No, no trouble. -Good. -So we're off to a good start here. -Yeah. No last-minute gas leaks. No, no, the repair people gave the place a clean bill of health. You want something to drink? All I got is soda. -Sure, soda's good. -Yeah. You got a closet? Oh, here, let me get that for you. I got it. Okay. Oh, sorry. Okay. Good. Oh, the aquarium. It's very pretty, Andy. Yeah, the coral's new. Oh, yeah? This is my kitchen here. Yeah. -Would you like a snack? Pretzels? -No, no, thanks. Andy, look, I know this is a little awkward. I'm sweating up a storm here. I feel like I'm eating a six-course meal. [DOG BARKS] -Mind if I let the dog out? -No. SlPOWlCZ: Okay, pup, here we go. Hey, Lulu. Oh, hi, Lulu. I still have to put her medicine in her food, but... ... she's60percentimproved. That problem with her fatigas. Excuse me? The dog's fatigas is better now. That problem she had. Was that a euphemism? Oh, boy, here we go with the Latin. You know, the fatigas. It's like the female private parts. Boy, I tell you, I'm sweating up a storm here. You're just a little nervous. I'll come clean with you. I haven't had sex sober in about 20 years. You're not gonna scare me off, Andy. I know what you were like, and I know what you're like now. And I think you're a good man. And in your own way, very charming. So you want to hit the sack? I'd like it if you kissed me. I'm getting a new bed cover. I've got it on order. -Wanna fold that up or--? -Sh. You realize that if I don't hold up my end, so to speak... ... Imayhavetokill you. Somehow it doesn't feel like it's gonna be a problem. Subtitles by sdl Media Group [english SDH] Here...you will have to do this part of the work. I swear...if I had a physique like yours I would have bowled over all the girls in India. In such a big place, where could Kania have hidden the fake currency printing dyes? If it were some female's handkerchief you would have traced it within a minute. Look at this! Uncle will be very happy! Uncle is very fortunate! When the rascal Kania doesn't find the dyes his face will be worth a look. In fact, Kania's face will be worth a look when he doesn't even find this godown! Are you sprinkling rosewater in some marriage or petrol? - Hurry up. I'm very hungry. - This petrol is very much like you. In appearance, it's as cold as water. One can never know that it must have so much fire within. Looking at you, who would know that all the girls of Mumbai are stuffed up in your little heart! Don't you speak like this! As it is, where are the girls in Mumbai these days? All of them have become Putlibai's! What are you doing? - How fast can you run? - l see... You want to enter into a race with me? Not with you but with this fire! - You want to race with death? - Life becomes joyful when one runs holding the fingers of death. What do you say? Fire is very menacing. As soon as it touches petrol, it shoots out like a bullet. We are no less. You are a flame. And I am fire! What do you say? - Let's do it. - Shall we? Run! Didn't I run fast? That's fine. But you have the plates, don't you? Yes, the plates are with me. Kania is in for some complications. Baba and Nawab have burnt down our godown. That's destiny. If you say, I will blow apart both of them. You are my younger brother. I can sacrifice several such godowns in your name. - l won't involve you in this fight. - Then would we sit quietly? Enjoy yourselves. I am there to look after the business. I am your elder brother. Nawab and Baba are the backbone of Uncle. Everybody knows. Only I know what the weakness of Uncle is! Do you know what Uncle's choice is? He likes gold, Mona, and Mona along with gold! Please speak to Baba and Nawab about me. Let me think it over. I am your nephew. I am your blood. By working as an ordinary driver in your business not just me, even you are insulted. Please speak to Baba and Nawab about me. I am constantly worried that because of your foolishness the two of them shouldn't have to face trouble. What did I do to make such a thing happen? So you have come? These are my two arms, my two tigers... Baba and Nawab! What's the matter? Why are you so sullen? Uncle, the work has not been done. The work has not been done? You didn't get the plates? - We didn't. - What say, Pakia...? You said that your information is very accurate. Yes, Uncle. The plates were in Kania's godown. The thing is... Kania got to know about our imminent arrival much before. We were only 2. And they were 50. They surrounded us from all sides. We forgot the plates and somehow saved our lives. What say, Baba? It doesn't matter if you didn't get the plates. I can sacrifice thousands of plates in the names of tigers like you. I will deal with Kania later. How could you, Baba? He's lying. - Here are the plates. - How wonderful! Bravo! - l knew. - What do you mean? I know both of you since the past 15 years. And in the 15 years, it has never happened that you didn't execute an assignment successfully. - Uncle...about me... - l remember... I remember. This idiot says that you should involve him in business. - What do you feel? - How can you say that, Uncle? No matter how much you teach a donkey, it can never become a horse. - Come on, now! - Phone for you, Baba. Yes, mother. I am coming. Why? What happened? is everything fine? Mother is feeling somewhat ill. Uncle, I am moving. All right, then, Uncle. What happened? The car has broken down. Let's check what's wrong. I don't understand what's wrong with it? It's become a problem. The problem has been solved. Excuse me... Did you think that person to be the hotel's doorman who parks cars? No. Then you give your car to strangers just like that? There are some people who don't look like strangers in the first meetings too. Do you believe that he will return? He will return. He will surely return. A girl...and a car! How wonderful, Lord! I pray at the shrine. But He gives everything to him. Anyway... Mother, you are unwell. Still, you are sitting here? May your enemies become unwell. I have only one ailment. Of telling lies. Mother, why did you send me false news? Ask yourself. lt has been so many days since I last met you. You know how my work is. What kind of work is this? I will go and meet your boss. And ask him why he makes my son work so much! But he compensates with the money too! To hell with such money. For name's sake, I have two sons. But none of them is close to me. One son is at the police academy. I wonder what kind of a training he is undergoing? He doesn't telephone for weeks altogether. What? He doesn't even telephone? I will go straight to Pune and take him to task. You don't have to do that! As if you are always close to me! I might pass away, living all alone to myself. And both of you would not even have time for the last rites. Mother...you know that I left home for the sake of our livelihood. If I hadn't left home, Avi wouldn't have got what was his due and the new life. I know. Avi has got his due. But what about your due? You even gave him what was due to you. I won't let him make merry all his life. I am waiting for the day when he returns from the Academy as a police officer, and start earning. But when will you return home? I am always scared that it might be too late. I know that the path that I have chosen is wrong. But when there is only one path left to be chosen the right and the wrong doesn't have any meaning. The path that I chose following Avi's hunger and your tears that path took me to diverse destinations. Mother, I was a kid then. I didn't know how difficult it would be to return from this path. Still, I didn't let my criminal activities affect Avi. Come back, Baba. You have compensated more than you had to. Return home now. Take my oath. Take my oath, or I will slap you. Mother, shall I take your oath, your slaps, or food cooked by you? Eat the food first. Come on. - Mr. Kadar! - Who is it? - Where are you? - l am here! - Please come out. - Just a minute. - Please let me see you, Government. - Here is the government. - Where are you? - Here I am. - What are you doing? - l am counting the change. - Greetings. - Greetings. - How are you? - l am fine. - What brings you here? - l am feeling hungry today. I know. When you feel hungry, you come to my door. Otherwise, why would you come to me? What would you like to eat? Shall I serve you the breast? - No! - The heart...the ears.. - No! - The eyes, then? No! I feel like eating the brain today. The brain? The police has eaten away my brain. Where from shall I serve you? I am not talking of your brain. I am talking of a goat's brain! Where does the goat have brain? Yes, I did find a goat with a brain. When I was about to slaughter it, the goat pleaded not to slay him since he was appearing for S.S.C. exams. I advised the goat against it since he had to die some day. He didn't pay heed. Today, he is making rounds at the college. How ridiculous! What's the connection between a goat and the college? The boys who attend college are like goats. Sometimes they are at the mercy of a job sometimes at the mercy of a girl. All right, then. Treat me to an omlette, at least. You will have to slog hard for that! - Slog hard? - Yes. Do you want to see? - Yes. - Come along. - Look at the fun. - All right. - Hey, Go Through! - Go Through? The voice enters his ear from here, and goes out the other way. He's deaf. He can't hear. Sir! You want to eat mangoes? Aam (Mangoes)? Shall I die? Go to sleep? Shall I late (lie down)? I see... late... You mean... Aam late... Aam late... Aha! You want to eat an Omlette! Then say so! I will get it! Come, be seated. - This waiter... - Forget it. lt's a daily routine. - Tell me, where's Baba? - He must be on his way. I swear...if I don't see the two of you together I feel as if life is incomplete. Pay heed to what I say. No matter what happens in life don't let their be any rift in your friendship. - Promise? - Promise! I promise too! - Greetings. - Greetings. What have you ordered for? Aam... late... Omlette! But why are you talking of eating? Didn't you go home? Your mother must have fed you to your heart's content! Couldn't you have brought some food for me too? I don't eat the stale food of this place. - l feed it to the customers. - What? - Did you meet your brother? - No, I am on my way. Come along? I have to visit the shrine today. - Gosh! I had forgotten! - Did you see? He forgot, he says! Some day, he will forget his friend for his brother's sake. - Such things happen. - How can you say that? What will you do if you are required to choose between... - ...your friend and brother? - l will tell you what to do! If you talk like this I will break the heads of both of you. - What will I break? - The head. Now go to the shrine and pray. - Shall I pray for something for you? - Go ahead. - Shall I pray for a wife for you? - A wife? All right. Even if the wife is 60 years old she should have wealth amounting to one-fourth of 56 crore rupees! 56 crores? is that all? Move it now! Come on! You speak as if you are a King! Do you know, Pooja? First you will have to meet my brother at home. If my brother approve of you, it will mean everything's okay! What if your brother doesn't approve? Then you look for another boy, and I will look for another girl. You are so scared of your brother? I am not scared. I adore him! You don't realize what a big person my brother is! - 6 feet 2 inches. - l am not talking of his height. - His chest is 42 inches. Right? - You are right! I have flicked this jacket from him. lt's great, isn't it? That's why it's so loose-fitting on you. - What did you say? Loose-fitting? - Yes! Put your hands on the car. Spread your legs. Let me search you. I am an inspector who gets angry very quickly. Sometimes even I get scared of my anger. What are you holding? A jacket? Let me search the jacket. Perfume in the jacket? Turn around! I had come to see what you do at the Academy! You are so busy that you didn't even go to meet Mother? You didn't even telephone her? Mother is furious at you. But what can I do? So much of drills, studies... I have to study so much. Such big books! Sometimes I read through the nights. The drills too are so backbreaking. You don't realize how much of hard work is involved in this. - Your timing is indeed ridiculous. - Why? What happened? I am trying to create a good impression. - lf my mother gets to know... - l don't understand. Brother! She's Pooja and he's my brother! So she's your fat book, is it? I don't find her too fat! What about your studies for the whole of nights? You must be finding it hard, don't you? - l will take you to Bombay. - No, no! Brother... Unless I don't work hard, I won't get the fruits. Fruits? I can see the fruits that you've got. And about that back-breaking drill that you spoke of what is that? - That was about parades! - l see... So you call it parade. And what do you do? - Love! - Love? That's only part-time, brother. Otherwise, she studies too! I can read you too! Your height is 6 feet 2 inches. Your chest is 42 inches. You like light-brown clothes. You have an import-export business. And you don't know swimming... Enough of it, Pooja. No, Pooja...don't! Brother, whose car is this? It cannot belong to you. - lt belongs to a lovely friend. - A lovely friend? Or a girlfriend? A lovely friend! - You? - l didn't see you here before. I have opened this shop recently. - Your keys. - ls it just the keys or along with the keys, the car too? Along with the car, the driver too is there. I have never seen a flower selling flowers. Will you just see, or buy something too? I will buy all your flowers. How much do they cost? Around 4000. Give me the address. Where do I send it? - Your name? - Nisha. I don't want flowers. I am at fault. And the flowers are being punished? The flowers are being punished. And you are sweating? Here...wipe off your sweat! - Sweat? ! - Please take it. If I were in Baba's place, I would have picked up the girl... - ..and parceled her right away! - l would say... Let Baba just mention it once. I will pick up her entire family! How would you know what love is? One should go straight to the girl and ask her... 'Will you give me a kiss? Or shall I slit your throat? ' Rascals! Get out! Come here! What are you smiling for? You deaf person! Gate? ! Out? ! Get out! Who? Then say so! Why beat around the bush? Won't you go away, rascal? He was eating my head! And why were you asking them? - Are you nervous? - Yes. This girl has shot into my heart like a bullet. She sells flowers, yet fires bullets. That's why it's said that one cannot trust the female species. When I was hit with the bullet the first time... - ...it hadn't been so painful. - But the pain is sweet, isn't it? - But what next? - What do you mean? Will this matter proceed further or not? How will it proceed further? You know I cannot do a thing. I too don't know anything. I haven't fallen in love often. Brother! How are you, brother? - Greetings. - Greetings. What's the matter? Why is everybody so sullen? Do you want us to dance around? Hey! This is a ladies handkerchief! A ladies handkerchief? In brother's hand? It is not possible. - But it is! - lf it is, it must have fallen down. - Return it to whoever it belongs. - lt didn't fall down. It has been forced into his hand. - But why? We saved you a muffin. - Right? - Yes. - Look. I said I was sorry. - l left five messages for you. Five! I mean, my father is in the... I mean... - l need you. - Right. So... I've got to create a circuit for shop. - So, I'll call you later. Okay? - Kyle. Look, I didn't hear anything just now. Okay? So... I mean, I heard you were having a conversation... so I just basically tuned it out. I'm able to do that, like not hear things, so... Comparing instruments? She is such an idiot. You wouldn't believe some of the things that girl has said to me. That was so stupid of me. Crying. No, that's okay. I mean... Well, see you later. See you on the bus. - You're taking my bus? - Yes, because I'm staying at Angela's. What? I heard about your dad. Tough break. So, a girl in distress hurls herself on a guy with no life. It's probably just a figure of speech,"See you on the bus". She probably didn't mean she would actually see me. She just means... yes, we'll be on the same bus. But not like together. Right? So you are staying at Angela's house? - Yes. What do you care? - l don't. So is her dad cooking you all kinds of good food or something? What about Kyle? I mean, they've been umbilically attached for a month. Kyle was probably her popular- jock phase. Now she's moving into her awkward but sensitive guy phase. - Are you saying I'm someone's phase? - l wish I was. - Lucky you. Living with the Chase's. - Yes. Whoopty- do. If you guys are friends again, you don't have to conceal it. I can take it. You see that nurse right there? She blames me. She thinks that I brought the heart attack on... by my sexual demands. No, actually, my sexual commands. What is it? Good news? What makes you think that? Actually, Andy is pretty much the same? But I thought that you... I was on my way to Allegheny Systems when I realized... - l forgot the estimates. - Here. I can't believe I did this. Anyway... Wait, here, here! - Graham! This is beautiful! - lt's a lemon- hazelnut tort. - Thank you! - When did you? I couldn't sleep, I was up waiting for you. Oh, my God, Patty. - You waited up for me? - Only until three. I guess I'm going to be late for this meeting. I better phone him. Your husband is an artist. Oh, God, I can't bear it. He's just sabotaging himself. He's sabotaging this account that would mean so much to us and... I can't even say anything-- Oh God, Patty. What would I do? I mean, how would I survive? Camille, Camille, it's okay, honey, you're going to be okay. No, you don't understand, I need him. I'm not like you. Wait, wait, what am I like? I didn't mean that, I just mean I need him, I really need Andy to live. This is incredible. Right. I'm sorry that... H i. We can go downstairs. No, lt's fine. I was just... - l should probably go. - No. No, don't go. - So, your room is... - A mess. Different from the last time I saw it. Okay, well, I'm going. I'm on hold. Rosenfeld, I got to call him back. Good morning. How long have you been up? A while. You can have the first shower if you want. That's okay, you go ahead. There's nothing edible in here. Don't be ridiculous, sweetie. That things crammed full of stuff. Let me look. There's nothing edible in here. So, do you want... Where's Angela? She left early. She must of had her reasons, or whatever. Well, do you want me to bring you to the hospital... - or do you just want to go to school? - Well, I... lt's whatever you want, sweetie. Your mom says that it's up to you. I guess... I guess school. You rescheduled with Rosenfeld, right? And you've got the estimates? Right? I got them. Yes. Hey? Who's in there, what happened? Nothing happened. I'm fine. - Stop looking at me. - Stop looking at me. What are you doing here anyway? - You are playing this all wrong. - What are you talking about? Please. Your dad's seriously sick, right? You shouldn't even be here. People are feeling sorry for you, right? - Use it. Take advantage. - You're saying... I'm saying, you have a personal tragedy with a loved one. You shouldn't be stuck in some stall balling. And isn't there someplace else you'd rather be? - With my mom, but... - But what? Where's she at? At the hospital with him. But it's... it's kind of upsetting there. - You should be there. - l know, but... Angelica. Oh, my God. We have to go with Sharon to the hospital. I'll get Tino to drive us. He loves hospitals. And Ricky will come, too. The four of us. Right? Come on. I have really been cutting Bio a lot. So, I should probably skip the hospital. So I'll see you later. Hey. is this where you come to smoke? I'm always doing that, I'm always asking questions I already know the answers to, - So, are you crying or something? - l guess. - How come? - Because I'm lonely, Because I have no friends, Because I'm a terrible, terrible person, Because of my friends father is in the hospital. And he could die. That's rough. I better go. - ls Sharon here? - Yes, and so is dad. But he's upstairs lying down, he said not to disturb him. He said we should send out for some pizza, right? But of course he didn't give me any money, he's trying to starve us. Danielle! He's just upset, you know, about M r. Cherski and everything. - Go get your money box. - No way! J ust lay it out, dad will pay you back later. - You lay it out. - l don't have any money! is there anything to eat? We're sending out for pizza. So, how's your dad doing? - How much money do you have? - None. I'm seriously hungry. H i, is Sharon still here? Oh, good. I mean, hi. - l don't believe this. - Believe it. - Hey, let Brian pay! - l don't mind. - Pay for what? - Yes, why not? I mean, maybe he doesn't mind paying for it. We were going to send for pizza. I mean, good. I do have plenty of cash on me, it's no problem. - What's no problem? - We were going to send for pizza! Thank goodness. I'm famished. I forgot to have lunch today. Make sure you get double cheese. And get some of those little tomatoes daddy likes. - Daddy can't be disturbed! - What? He's lying down upstairs. Here, get a large. Graham, what happened? is it Andy? Nothing happened. Do you feel all right? Are you coming down... I just want to lie here. How was your meeting with Rosenfeld? It went okay. Did you feel like you made all your points? Look. I want to tell you, and I will tell you how the meeting went... but I really just can't talk about it, now! Okay? You know it's okay. We'll live. You know I mean... we don't have to have this account, I mean the important thing is... I'm really sorry. I have to get out of here. - What? - l can't breathe. Graham! If you didn't land this account, that's okay. Please! J ust let it be, okay? - l can't... - You can't what? What is wrong? - Where are you going? - l'm sorry! I have to get out of this house. They say it'll be here in twenty minutes. Great. Hello? Yeah. Hold on a second. It's for you. Hello? Kyle! Thank God it's you! I'm sort of not really that hungry now that I think about it. Okay, great! Yes, I'll be ready. Okay, bye! - N ice. - What? You just made a date with Kyle? Yes, not that it's any of your business. I don't believe you! What about Brian? Angela! Kyle is my boyfriend, I hate to tell you. Brian Krakow happens to be waiting in my living room... and I don't know what you're doing with him! Nothing! Nothing! We're just friends. Yes, when Kyle's not around, you've been using him. You are lecturing me about using Brian Krakow... when he is so obviously in love with you and you totally use him! - Brian Krakow is not in love with me! - That's not what Rayanne Graff says. You know what? J ust don't even speak to me, okay? I can't believe you can't even be nice to me at a time like this! Why do you even need me to be nice to you... since everybody else in the world is? Graham. ls that you? They said the pizza will be here in twenty minutes. I'm not hungry. Graham? No, it's me. I'm just calling to thank you. Thank me? For what? For sending Graham over here. I don't know how you knew... but he is exactly who I needed. Good. How is it going? How is Andy? We don't- - We're still waiting to hear if the angioplasty worked. By the way, I hope you understand about Sharon. Sharon? You know, she just really felt like she needed to spend the night... - in her own bed, you know? - Sure, of course. Patty, you're the greatest friend. - Go back to sleep. - Okay. Here. Now, you prefer your coffee at least two days old, right? I insist upon it. You've been amazing through all this. No, I just don't think it has hit me yet. So Andy, was he working really hard or something? I mean, why do you think-- Why do I think he had a heart attack at 40? Sweetie, I don't know. But he does work too hard. Actually, his new boss is always telling him, go easier on yourself. The lumber business is very unpredictable. I kept telling him he should take some time off. But do you know the truth of it is? He loves it. He loves his work. - lt's his life. - lt must be great to feel that way. M rs. Cherski. Good news. The angioplasty was a complete success. Oh, God. There was a small blockage that we were able to clear. That's what caused the arrhythmia. I've prescribed a few medications... he'll need to take, but he's going to be just fine. I think it finally hit me. Thank you. - Andy is going to be okay. - Thank God. I landed the account. I don't understand. When they told me, I don't know, it was like a... this moment because I had to admit that I didn't want to land it. Because landing it means that I'm really doing this. This is my job, this is my life, this is it! This is what I really... But, look I'm sorry that I couldn't... - you know, handle it or whatever. - lt's okay. But look, I landed it right? That's all that matters. I don't think so. - l don't think that's all that matters. - Say what you mean. I'm proud of you. I'm glad you landed the account... - and you're fired. - What? You're fired because I love you... because I don't want to lose you. No, no, Patty, it's okay, I can fix my responsibilities. I know, but you're not happy, you're not. You're... Something has to change. - What will we do? I mean... - l don't know. - What will I do? I don't even... - l don't know what you're going to do. I guess you're finally going to figure it out. - You know that girl, Angela Chase? - That redheaded girl? Yes. Some redhead. It's out of a bottle. - Anyway. is she avoiding us? - l think she is. I think we make her physically ill or something. I thinks so because... Angela. H i. Very funny. So I guess you've heard. Sharon's dad is okay. That's great. No, I hadn't heard. I'm obviously the last person in Pittsburgh to hear. - So you're friends with Sharon now? - Well, so, you are, right? Look. We all know what's going on around here, okay? - Which is that you are jealous. - What? And you. You are totally flipped because... Rayanne finally did something nice for once in her life. Which she did by taking Sharon to go visit her dad. And now both of you just want to be sure that you both still are friends. Which you are. So shut up! Let's kill him. Say a prayer, Vasquez. I'm going to kill him. - l've been knocking, but... - What? Your mom let me in. I came to drop off your bag. - What are you listening to? - A group you probably hate. Okay, I'll go. I'm glad your dad is going to be okay. My father almost died. And you were the only person who didn't even seem to care. People I barely knew were coming up to me all concerned... and you, you acted like you barely even knew me. I know, I know I acted like that. I just didn't know what else to do. I knew I was the last person on earth you wanted to deal with. You were the only person I wanted to deal with. I wanted to talk to you, too, it just seemed like... you wanted help from everyone but me! - l was really scared. - l was, too. I know we have different friends now... - but sometimes I miss you so much! - Me, too. It really hurts. Squeeze my hand as hard as it hurts. You're in my light. So Sharon's dad is going to be okay. I heard. Your friend Rickie told me. I was just over there, at Sharon's, I ended staying a pretty long time. is there some reason you think I should care about this? I don't know. You two are friends. I guess. I mean we're not, like, really friends. But you've been hanging out with her, right? Look. It was just... she needed me, I mean, not me, but somebody, anybody. And I just happened to be there, and we just, so, we just hung out... or whatever, I mean, it could have been anyone. No, that's not true, it doesn't work with just anyone... I mean, some people... I think she needed you. Why? Because of certain ways that you are. What, did you give this thought or something? Brian! Go inflate your tire. There's so many different ways to be connected to people, There are the people you feel this unspoken connection to, even though there's not even a word for lt, There's the people who you've known forever, who know you ln this way that other people can't, because they've seen you change, they've let you change, - Richard and Cindy? - Very deeply in love. - Since when? - Lunch. What did they eat? I don't know, but it doesn't look like it was enough. Ah, Mr. Heckle and Mr. Jekkyl, don't we have classes to attend? Mr. Feeny, shouldn't you break them up or hose them down or something? Oh, I wouldn't interrupt their tryst, Mr. Matthews. They're both A-minus students and happily struck by Cupid. So, if they were C-minus students, you wouldn't let them kiss? - School policy, don't you know. - So I can't kiss? With your grades, Mr. Matthews, you can't even shake hands. Just watch, Mr. Feeny. By the end of the year, I plan to have an A-plus average and a hickey. Dare to dream, Mr. Matthews. Holy cow. Jerry and Shoshanna? Deeply. - Has the whole world paired off? - Pretty much. Is there a list posted somewhere where I find out what girl's been assigned to me? You want a girlfriend? No, not a girlfriend, just a girl who's like a friend, but not a girlfriend. - How about her? How about the new girl? - No. I mean, I don't know her. Shut up. Look, I want someone I know, someone who knows me, someone who we know each other, someone like, uh... Topanga! Topanga, my honey. - May I call you honey? - No. Topanga, my girl, my friend, my girly friend. Believe me, I don't want this any more than you do, but everybody around here is pairing off, and I think you and I should spare ourselves a lot of uncoolness and walk through life together. Cory, my dear little butthead... May I call you butthead? Sure. - I can't walk through life with you. - Is there someone else? There's everybody else. Why? We're already standing together, and we look great. Oh, come on. Work with me here. Cory, when guys and girls go out, first they fall passionately in love. Then, after a week, they hate each other. So for one great passionate week, we'd lose a friendship that could last a lifetime. - I'm in if you are. - Cory, don't worry. I'm sure there's someone out there for you. Gimme a name! - For the record, I dumped her. - That's how I saw it. Well, Dubin's out sick again. Health teacher sick again? Not a lot of credibility. I wonder what kind of creepy substitute we'll get today. Wow. That is no substitute. That is the real thing. Good afternoon, class. I'm Ms. Kelly, and I'll be filling in for Mr. Dubin for the next few days. On behalf of the entire class, I'd like to say... stay as long as you like. Now, right now, you seem to be covering... CPR, and I'm today's dummy. No, actually, we seem to be up to human reproduction, which I hope we can discuss in a mature fashion. (laughter) Oh, stop being so young. You know, I'm not as young as they are. I've stayed back, like, 50 times. - Really? How old are you? - 24? Really? What are you doing in a seventh-grade classroom? I'm a cop. Sit down. All right, but I'm watching you. All right, who can tell us the name of the organ where the eggs are stored? Officer? Oh, sorry, Ms. Kelly. I don't have that stuff. I can name the stuff I have. Or at least what I call them. All right, the name of the place where the eggs are stored. What are the gonads? No, sorry. I was looking for, what are the ovaries? Oh, the o... Yeah, I always mix those two up. Try not to. Your future will be brighter. Can you tell us anything about ovulation or how pregnancy occurs? Well, the man's got the sperm, and the woman's got the egg. Now, once a month, an egg slides down the Philippine tube towards the uterus. The first sperm to reach the egg wins, it gets a medal, it's born, you name him Cory, you push him out the door, and nothing makes sense for the rest of his life. Congratulations. You seem to have a thorough understanding of the life cycle. - Hey, I live it. - Any questions? Yes? How do you get a girl to say hi? Michael and Lisa Marie? - Looks like it. - Since when? - Just now. That was it. - What, that? - Yeah. You saw it happen. - I can't believe it. I saw it happen, and I still don't know how it happens. Stop obsessing, man. You're gonna pop a lobe. You're right. I should relax, 'cause this coupling thing, it's just a phase. I mean, how long can it last... a few weeks? The cafeteria's right this way. They know me there. I'll get us a good table. - You would do that for me? - Oh, yeah. I'm very tight with Bertha, the lunchroom lady. Yeah, I once rescued a dolphin from her hair net. OK, maybe it'll last a few years. Yes, I'm acting principal now, and the pressures would be daunting for a man half my age. Fortunately I have a vitality that belies my years. I'm the only one who doesn't know how it's done. Listen, I think I found something that kind of works. - What? - This. Hi, Shawn. - Wow. From across the hall. - Yep, I got a 30-foot range. - What, you just jerk your head? - Watch again. I'm still young enough, I can do this twice in a row. Shawn, it's so strange. I was just thinking about you. And that's without conditioner. Cory, what is it? - You were just drawn to me, weren't you? - No, I thought you had head lice. - Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm great. - Oh, good. - Hi, Topanga. I was just thinking about you. I need new hair. Hi, Mom. This is Rebecca. It's kind of a new relationship, so don't say anything too embarrassing, OK? Oh, hi, Rebecca. He wet his bed till he was 12. Oops. Wanna sit? Hey Weasel, you wanna move your stuff off the table? We gotta cram for the math test tomorrow. My name's not Weasel, it's Morgan. I thought you liked it when I called you Weasel. I've never liked it. You like it so much, it's your name now... Weasel. - What an assertive little sister you have. - Oh, it's the uniform. When she takes it off, she has a vulnerable side, I'm almost certain. OK, Morgan, soccer practice. Remember what we learned last week? Don't kick the coach. Hey, before we get started, why don't we take a break? Can I get you something to drink? I got full access to all the major appliances in the kitchen. Aren't you gonna show me your house first? The house? You wanna see the house? Sure. Uh, this is the house. Are there any other rooms? Uh, yeah, there's probably one right through here. Do you wanna...? All right. Hey, I was right. This is the living room. This is where we live. And this is the couch where much of the sitting takes place. Aren't you gonna show me the, uh, upstairs? Yeah, boy, yeah, boy, yeah, boy. The upstairs. I love the upstairs. You know, we weren't even gonna have an upstairs, but I made 'em put it in because I knew you were coming. Nobody told me about this girl thing, Shawn. I mean, no one warned me. I thought they were just there. I didn't know they were interactive. You'll get the hang of it. Sure. It's easy for you. Your hair moves. - There's other techniques. - Like what? I don't know. I just do hair. Yeah, but where do I get my technique? Ask your brother. He's got the boom. You know what? Let's just forget this whole subject. There are a million other things to do in the world. I mean, we're too young to worry about finding mates. - You're right. See ya. - Where are you going? Off to meet girls. I've got a 30-foot range. - (girl) Is that you, Shawn? - Get out. Fine. No girls for me. I'll just study and get good grades and get smart and become a famous scientist, and then I'll build a wife. I'm bored. - (♪ jazz) - What's that? Mom? Dad? Are you home? - Cory, we're studying. - So am I. Don't go, Rebecca. Sorry. I really don't feel like being here anymore. You haven't seen the whole house. Let me take you up to the roof. Actually, Eric, I think it's nice we didn't go any further than we did. - Thank you. - No prob. Why don't we just study together like we planned? - I need to study alone. - So I'll see you Friday? No. OK, then! So, what's new? - I'm gonna kill you. - I have you. I'm gonna kill you, I'm gonna bring you back to life, and I'm gonna kill you again. - I have you. - What? ! What do you have? You have what I have... nothing! You, my boy, were in Mom and Dad's bed. Oh, ho-ho-ho. What was that, the sound of power suddenly shifting? Nothing happened. Yeah, and it didn't happen in Mom and Dad's bed. I have you. I have you by your ovaries. Hey, Cor, buddy, I'm not gonna kill you. That was one of those wacky brother-to-brother murder threats. Yeah. Listen, I'd like you to do something for me. - Anything you need. - Tell me how you do it. What I was doing with Rebecca? No, no, what you were doing with Rebecca, I don't have the lung capacity for that. I just wanna know, how do you get a girl to say hi? - Oh, you're wasting my time. - I have you. Now, ordinarily I wouldn't reveal my foolproof method, but I know I can count on my favorite little brother to keep a secret. I'm listening. - OK, you got eyes? - Yeah. - Use 'em. - How? Look at her. Look into her. Look through her. I mean, make her think she's the most exquisite thing your eyes have ever beheld. - Who her? - Who cares? Pick somebody. Well, how do I pick? - You got eyes? - I thought we established that. Make eye contact. Make her eyes believe that your eyes are interested in her. - So I have to be interested in her. - No, you're overachieving. You only have to make her think you are. So we find, in Fielding's novel, the character Tom Jones is absolutely irresistible to women. - Isn't that right, Matthews? - Uh, yeah, that's right. - What's right? - What you just said. - What'd I just say? - You weren't listening, either? Matthews, keep your head facing this way. Shawn, tell your buddy what I was saying. Uh, he was saying, "Matthews, you're not listening." Thank you. Did either one of you guys do the reading assignment? - Some of it. - What did you read? I read the page you handed us with the reading assignment on it. - (bell rings) - Yay! Yay! - What? - Oh, uh... Uh, I was just looking at your hair. I'm very interested in your hair. - Why? - Because it's... it's interesting hair. I mean, it's very exquisite hair. It's the most exquisite hair my eyes have ever beheld. Well, actually, I did comb it differently this morning. So, um, with all that said, would you be interested in going out with me? All right. I guess so. When? - Uh, tomorrow, after school. - OK. See you then. Has a brand-new couple taken shape before my very eyes? What can I say? I've got the boom! (sighs) - What's the matter? - Nothing's the matter. Yeah, you got your, uh... floor-length flannel armor on there. - This happens to be very comfortable. - Mm-hmm. Well, you're looking positively Amish. Alan... tomorrow I have three busloads of these Garden Club ladies coming to the gallery, and some of the paintings are just a little risqué. Risqué? What do you mean? Like flannel-off-the-shoulder kind of... What is with this? Is this welded on? I'm a little stressed, OK? Well, I'm just the guy to relieve that stress. - How's that? - It helps. Mm-hmm. - Ow! - Was that a good "ow"? No, it wasn't you. It was this. Whose earring is this? - Well, it's not yours? - No. Well, I-I-I have no idea. Honestly, I don't know who-whose earring that is. Alan, sweetheart, I'm not accusing you. - Why not? - I know you're not having an affair. Oh, you think I'm safe? You think other women aren't attracted to me? - I haven't said anything. - And, boy, are you oh so wrong. Just today at the store, this slim little blonde with a low-cut dress, she came up to me and asked me if the bread was fresh. Alan, sweetheart, I know there are still many women that still are attracted to you. - You don't sound very threatened. - I'm threatened. I know I could lose you at any moment. - (blows) - Oh, stop that. We just found an earring in our bed. I know... a cheap, tacky one, the kind of thing a teenager would... wear. - Eric! - What about Eric? The earring. Eric was with a girl alone in this house. Oh, boy. OK, sweetheart, I will go have a talk with him. No, no, no. I will talk to him. I don't want to have any of that father-son winking thing going on. - What father-son winking? - No, I-I don't want to see you go, "Son, what you did was wrong," and then, "Attaboy." I don't want to see that. - You think I'd do that? - I think you'd do that. Well, I wouldn't do that. That just goes to show you don't know me at all. We'll both just go have a talk with my son. - My son. - Ugh! - Hello. - You want to tell us anything? Uh... not yet. Now I got something to tell you. We found this in our bed. What was it you wanted to tell us? I just wanted to say, "Happy Birthday, Mom." The other one's on layaway. Nothing happened between me and Rebecca, if that's what you're thinking. Why should we believe that nothing happened? Look at my face. Do I look happy? Nothing happened. Well, I'd like to know what you were doing bringing a girl into our room. And don't give us some lame-o excuse like, "She wanted a tour of the house." OK. We were on the roof replacing tiles when we fell through the ceiling, and luckily your bed broke our fall. Eric, you're in some big trouble here. Hey, go easy on him, I need this brother. He taught me how to get what I want from a girl. - Excuse me? - He taught me how to get a date, - and it worked big-time. - Oh, I see, and who is this girl? - Uh, I don't know her name. - You don't know her name? Not yet, but I'm gonna find out before I make any type of commitment. How can you manage to ask a girl out if you don't know her name? - All part of Eric's foolproof method. - Cory, get the phone. - Oh, Eric has a foolproof method? - Ring! Ring! - Go ahead, Cory. - All right, first you pick a girl, any girl. - Just any-ol-body. - Yeah. Then you pretend you're interested in her. Now you don't really have to be interested in her. I thought you did, but Eric said it wasn't necessary. - Ring! - That's what you told him? What? Does it matter what I told him? I'm dead. You had the big sex talk with him two years ago. What did you tell him? Not that! How can you think I'd tell him that? - Alan, I'm not accusing you. - Yes, you are. You're accusing me of this, and yet you refuse to accuse me of having an affair. That hurts. Cory, I know you look up to your brother, but I want you to go to your father for advice on this subject. Eric has some explaining to do about his own behavior with girls lately. - I know. - What do you know? Pretty much everything. I kind of walked in on them. ♪ Amazing grace... ♪ - On Eric and his friend in our room? - How could this happen? Dad, Rebecca sat down on the bed and went like this... Oh, so this is her fault. And you bear no responsibility? - Clearly, I should have locked the door. - Eric, you're missing the point. No, I know the point, Dad. I should have controlled myself, but nothing happened. Eric, Eric, you are in so deep. Dad, I'm sorry. I mean, I'm really, really s... You know, for thousands of years, fathers have said to their sons, "Don't rush into sex," and the sons have always said, "Yeah, sure. OK." I didn't understand my father till this very moment, and you won't understand me till you're a father, which won't be for a very long time! - Dad? - Learn her name! - Yes, sir. - As for you... Rebecca. Her name was Rebecca. - Is that all you know about her? - Well, not too much more, I guess. - Does that make you feel good? - No, it doesn't. Eric, every once in a while, let your brain in on what the rest of you is doing. Are you two both clear on this? But if I can't use Eric's method, then how do I get a girl to say hi? - Cory... - Yeah? What did you know about girls before your brother's excellent advice? - I didn't know anything. - Why don't you just go with that? Um, ready to go? Look, are you feeling a little funny about this? You mean, about going out on a date? Yeah, because we don't even know each other. A little funny. So do you wanna, like, not go out on a date? - Yeah, it doesn't feel right. - I understand. But we should still get to know each other. Oh, that would be nice. Yeah, because then, in case we ever did want to go out, well, we'd know each other. So, um, how do you want to get to know each other? Well, we could go somewhere and talk... if you don't have something else to do. Well, I did, but, um... now I'm suddenly free. Great. Let's go. So, uh, what do you want to talk about? Well, um, do you know my name? - Uh... - It's Wendy. Wendy. - Wendy? - Yeah? - Hi. - Hi. - Lot of homework? - Yeah, a lot. You? Yeah. Look, Cory, I know I've been forbidden to give you any advice on any subject ever again, so if there's any information you'd like to voluntarily offer about the current events of your life, I'm listening. - How was my date? - Yeah. - I had a real good time. - So, what was your technique? Look, I know you know everything there is to know about women and I don't know anything, so I did what I do best... I was real nervous and I nodded a lot. Did she like that? I don't know, but when we were done, I asked her if she maybe wanted to go out again. She said, "Yeah, I would." Cool. - Cor? - Yeah? So, how did you nod? I mean, was it like this or...? (laughs) I'm coming, Anna Brother! Wake up I'm Nikki, not Anna Get up now oh, what's the problem that you had to wake me so early! I'd be married if only you had waited Married, did you say! It's nothing... nothing at all. What's the time anyway? 8 O' clock If I'm late today too Imran'll give me hell... And I must be at the station by 12 as well! My goodness! So many pictures of Anna! She's in English literature. In Economics... In Psychology too! I've only one favorite subject... Anna... Anna... And Anna! She doesn't love you though But she likes me, doesn't she? She'll love me too I mean the way people talk. I mean, people think we did it. I know. It's like we might as well done it anyway at this point. I mean, you know, if everybody is talking about it already... maybe we... I mean, not to make a big deal of it or anything. Out of what? Out of anything. I mean if everybody's... already assuming it anyway. Maybe, we should just... It's amazing the things you notice. Like the corner of his collar that was coming undone. LIke he was from a poor family and couldn't afford new shirts. That's all I could see. The whole world was that unraveled piece of fabric. I think I have to go. - Look, I'm sorry if l-- - No, it's okay. - No pressure or anything. - l have to go. You could just think about it. It's such a lie that you should do what's In your heart. If we all did what was In our hearts, the world would grind to a halt. And they know that he knows and I can't believe he didn't tell them. He got a perfect score on his PSAT. Do you believe that? Math will be ruined. What does this have to do with Angela? That's when they had sex. Her and Jordan? - At Brian's house. - Oh my God. Can you believe it? Right in the front yard. Brian watched the entire thing through his kitchen window. I thought you and Angela were really tight. She was like my best friend. This whole things been really hard for me to accept. But Brian wouldn't lie. So it's like... it's like she's this completely different person. Like a slut? No. No, she's not. I think she's just confused or something. - Do you want me to kill her? - No, it doesn't matter. Brian's the one who ought to be killed. He should definitely die. You know he's going to rat on Rickie. What actually is there to rat on Rickie. Do you know? I know whatever he did, he did because he had to. You haven't had to clean him up after some Neanderthal... beat the hell out of him. Come here for a minute, son. Rickie Vasquez. Are you familiar with the name? Excuse me? What can you tell me, son, about Rickie Vasquez? He goes here. I don't, I mean... Did you hear something... Did he see something about the gun? Mr. Krakow, I'm going to tell you about a little legal term. It's called accessory after the fact. I don't like accessories after the fact. I don't want them in my school. You are going to come to my office today at 3 o'clock... and you are going to tell me everything you know about... Rickie Vasquez and anyone else who might be involved in this incident. And if you don't, no matter what your grade scores... you may not be going to this school much longer. Do you get my clear intent? - Yes sir. - Good. - What? - l don't even want to talk to you. - Good, then don't. - Did Rickie have the gun? Give me a break. God, Angela. Look, because you don't know the whole situation. - l just don't want to see him hurt. - Him hurt? What about me? This is the police now. I have to get kicked out of school for protecting someone I don't know? Don't ask me? And this has nothing to do with the truth. Nobody is interested in the truth. All they care about is... - what they want to believe. - If you're concerned with the truth... why did you lie about me? - Your name didn't even come up. - Not the gun thing. With Sharon! What you said to her about me and Jordan Catalano. - What are you talking about? - l heard her, Brian. You told her terrible things. False things. You lied to her. I didn't lie to her, I just... What difference does it makes. I can imagine what she did with it. But it's just that you lied too. When you said you didn't know about Jordan coming over that night. I thought about it for like fifty hours. You knew it, didn't you? You used me. - It's not the same. - Maybe it is because... you just did what you wanted. And didn't care about what damage it did to anybody else. What damage did it do you? Angela? Angela. Can I talk to you for a second? - How are you doing? - You know. Life goes on. I was thinking about what I said to you yesterday? You know, the thing. Right. The thing. Yeah, look, I'm sorry about that. Afterwards, I thought it through and... - l can see how you got upset about it. - No, I wasn't upset. Some girls wouldn't be, but you're not like that, so... I just wanted to say I'm sorry. No, it's really okay. I mean, it wasn't a problem. I really didn't think about it. I mean, I did think about it, and I thought... maybe what you were saying wasn't so wrong. - No, it was really wrong. - Why? And I just want to let you know that if it will make you feel better... I'm just going to make it real clear that... I don't have any real interest in you or anything. You know. So they'll stop saying all that. That I barely even know you, which is of course true... and that basically, you and I mean nothing to each other. So that should solve the problem. Thanks. It's the least I could do, you know. Right. - Hey. - Hey. What are you doing out here? It's what I always do. I can't make it through a whole day in there. - l know what you mean. - Yeah. What do you need to hide from? Your life is perfect. I'm serious. I would give anything to have your life. My life is so pathetic. You have this great house. Parents that are there. No one bothers you at school. Rickie, I need to talk to you about the gun. Don't. - You can't carry a gun, Rickie. - l don't. Because it would be really bad. Tragically bad. Angela, I don't carry a gun. I wouldn't even know how to shoot one. But didn't Brian see you? Isn't that what he's going to tell them? This is really serious. People are going to think you are dangerous. I know. That's what I want. So, what did happen? My cousin brought it in to sell it. And I got real mad at him for bringing a gun into school. So, we got into this big argument... and the next thing I knew the thing fell out of the box and went off. And he peed in his pants and ran away. - He did not. - He did. Big stain. And that's what happened with the gun? That's the whole story of the gun. And now Brian is going to say you did it. - l'm telling you, I hope he does. - No, don't be stupid. You know it's weird. I always think of you as Rayanne's friend. I mean like, you just think of me as... as someone who's just, you know, around. It's weird how something has to happen sometimes... to see how you actually feel about something. Sit down, Mr. Krakow, we're just waiting for our friends... from law enforcement. Can you imagine Rickie in a high-security prison. - Who'd supply his make up? - Do you think it might be possible... you not make everything into a joke. Angela, there is nothing to worry about. Harlin, this guy Tino knows, he's been busted with a gun... twice and nothing ever happened. It's no big deal. You know what I'd really like? To be put out of my misery. - Are you kidding? This is fun. - Fun? Everyone running around all upset and rumors flying. Can't you feel it in your fingers and your toes? It's like being alive. It is such a rush. - You're out of your mind. - Last year? That rumor about me and Mark Hammer in the orchestra pit... during the talent show? In that case it was true, but... man, all that conversation. People writing notes. They look at you different, like, trying to figure out who you really are. Like you're famous. Admit it. It's really great. I don't know what you are talking about. Come in, gentlemen. So, Mr. Krakow? I thought a lot about what you said. And I decided that the main thing is really to protect the school. That's good, Brian. I went to the bathroom. I heard a scuffle. Then a shot. I came out. I saw two pairs of legs running in opposite directions. Who those people were I can't say. And if you or these men or anybody else threatens me anymore... pressures me anymore-- Brian-- l will insist on having a lawyer... and I will sue you for harassment and anything else I can. And if you try to expel me in order to solve your public relations problems... then I will reveal to anyone who will listen... just who is destroying the spirit of this school. So, they still haven't found out who had the gun. Mom, it's really okay. Let it go. The school hasn't self destructed yet. It's just so hard not being able to protect you. Yeah, but you can't. - Hey, what's up? - Hey everybody. Rayanne. Just a little knife. You know, a girl's got to protect herself. I mean heavy artillery like some people might-- I do not believe that any of us, , , would exchange places with any other people or any other generation, The energy, the faith, the devotion, , , Grownups like to tell you where they were when, , , Presldent Kennedy was shot which they all know to the exact second, Whlch makes me almost jealous, Llke I should have something important enough to know, , , where l was when lt happened, But I don't yet, And the fact that lt was a better time then, , , and people knew what they were supposed to do, , , and how to make the world better, Now, nobody knows anything, We know who ls popular or that social studies ls boring, Or that Brlan always has stomach trouble, But nobody knows anything important, I nstead of changing the world, , , people sit ln class and write notes about other people, My soda. Get back. Get back. Get back. Get back. Stay back. Be quiet. Did you see who it was? Did you? AN G E LA AN D J O RD AN C ATALAN O C OM P LET E S EX! ! ! I N H I S C AR. C AN YO U B E Ll EVE H E R? My God, I can not believe this. That is like the weirdest thing that ever happened at this school. Ever. J ust think about who... if we all weren't in our classrooms just minding our own business. And look. By what. I could have been right at that spot. I was there like ten minutes earlier. What is the big deal? It's not like anybody even got a flesh wound. A bottle of soda was shot tragically. I don't want our school to have a reputation. Like yours, you mean? Everyone knows there are, like, fifty guns in school at any given moment. And the fact that they haven't gone off before shows you... what a totally safe place this is. Give it a rest. Geez! Excuse me. Excuse me. No one is going to get shot I promise you. Who would write a note like that? Everybody writes notes like that. We write notes like that. Yeah, but we write notes that are true. - This isn't true? - Rayanne! We barely made out. You haven't been telling people-- Oh, Angela, come on. Hey Rickie! I wouldn't blab about your personal life. I promise you. What are you looking at? - What happened to your shirt? - Oh nothing. - lt got caught on the fence outside. - So, can you believe all this? - Did you see anything? - No. I was in English. Maybe I should get a gun. What do you mean English? You were supposed to be in social studies. What's the difference. So, what's this I hear about you and Jordan? - l can't believe this. - You know they had sex. - Rayanne. - That's what I heard. You heard it too? God, just shoot me. - We could probably arrange that. - You mean you didn't have sex? Angela come on, come. You've got to start thinking of this as a positive thing. This can help you get to the next level with Jordan. Did he at least think you were a good kisser? - l don't know. - Did you like the way he kissed? They weren't the kind of kisses you can actually evaluate. I ntroductory kisses. You should have had sex with him. Where were you when the gun went off? Mom, it wasn't anywhere near us. We barely heard it. We have to worry about our kids being shot in school. How did it come to this. This is horrible. This is a disgrace to all of us-- - That's too much. - l'm sorry honey. I'm going to say it in this meeting. I am. I mean it. We have to draw the line somewhere. We just can't keep accepting the total deterioration-- The only thing shot was a bottle of soda. I don't even know if you should go there alone anymore. Maybe we should drop you off every morning. Dad ! The gun was in the school. We can't be with her all day. We are not going to change our entire lives over this. There was one stupid gun shot. You are not dropping me at school. God. I'm not an eight years old. At my school this kid slipped on this wet spot. And fell. Like on his face. Maybe we should take her out of school. - Honey. - Put her in private school. - l wish we could afford that. - Maybe that's not an excuse. Maybe we should sacrifice other things. Like the house in Palm Beach? This is our daughter we are talking about. I know. Listen, I don't know why the world's gone so crazy... and I don't know what to do about it. I wish we could keep them... in some kind of bubble to protect them but I know we can't. I'm not asking for a bubble. How about just a place where they can live, and walk to school... and become grownups without having to worry about... guns and Al D S and serial murderers. That didn't use to be exotic. That wasn't the province of the rich. We all had that. Why can't they have that? I don't know. There, did you see that? - What? - That guy. - People are looking at me. - That's good. They're looking at me. Oh, they're looking at you. H i. H i. See? Now what was that about? - He said hi? - That was not hi. - That was hi. - That was a different hi. That was a he wants to get to know you hi. From someone who never talks to me has never talked me... and would never talk to me. Except now he thinks you put out so he talks to you. - See, I told you that note was good. - Rayanne. Maybe Jordan started the rumor. Don't be ridiculous. It's a very guy thing to do. - Hey Catalano. - Hey. So, what about this gun thing? I would hate to be that soda bottle. Splat. So, do you know what everyone is saying? What? About how you and Angela had sex. - Who? - You and Angela. No. Who's saying that? I don't know. People. I mean. She told me the truth, of course. What truth? How far you guys went. Well. Yeah. Because nothing happened. Right, so how come it's all over school? I mean, you're not talking it up like some low-life... derelict cretin telling everyone you did her, are you? J ust checking. - H i Brian. - H i. - This is Gina. - Hey. - Right. H i. - Brian saw the entire thing. I heard you actually chased the gunmen. - Chased the gunmen? - l would have screamed. I have to leave the room when my father uses the electric knife. I think chase is a little bit strong, but I was going to check out the situation ... because you know if there's a gun-- - M r. Foster. - My man M r. Krakow. - Are you still getting all those A's? - Yes sir. Real good M r. Krakow. I want you to come to my office for a few minutes. - l need to ask you a few things. - Actually I have a class, and-- You're excused from you next class, M r. Krakow. Really? Great. I mean, of course. Man these are some grades. You always gotten grades like this? Yes sir. We need more kids in our school like you, Brian. All the schools need more kids like you. You're on a valedictorian path, M r. Krakow. All your teachers give you an unqualified thumbs-up. So. What happened yesterday? - l already told M r. H iggins-- - But I'd like to hear it from you. Right. I was leaving the bathroom and I heard a shot-- And you were in the bathroom because? Because? I had to go to the bathroom-- Which one? - The one by the-- - No, I meant what kind? How long were you in the bathroom? I didn't actually go. I mean. I had a stomach ache but I didn't actually go. Because? Because you heard something in the hallway. I heard like a scuffle, but I didn't see anyone when I came out... I just heard the shot. You heard a scuffle loud enough to keep you from taking nature's call... but you didn't see anything. No sir. Brian, I don't have to tell you this is a serious criminal act... - we are talking about here. - Yes sir. I'd hate to hear that you were protecting someone. With your unblemished record and all. I'm not protecting anyone. Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen, please. May I have your undivided attention for one moment? Please may I have your attention? Your undivided attention. Thank you. I just wanted to let you know some of the things... we have been working on to ensure a safe environment here at Liberty. We will not tolerate violence in our schools. We will not accept it, and we will not live with it. But all the safety measures in the world... won't work unless I have the cooperation of you. All of you. Yeah. The people who come to these meetings are the people... who let their kids have guns. Are you getting the guns out of school? That's the only question that's important here. We're going to open this up for your comments in just one moment, please-- My daughter has been in tears for thirty-six hours. We are not going to live with this kind of terror in our schools. Friends. One moment please. We're going to get nowhere fast if each and every one of us speaks out of turn. Now, as I was saying to your point Madam, Ms. Krzy zanowski here... is going to provide special counseling... for any student who has a problem coping with the incident. That is good. Put the kids in therapy so they can adjust to being shot. We can hear what everybody has to say if we could just... - say it one at a time. - Excuse me, M r. Principle, could l-- lt would help if you would say your name and the name of your child. My name is Amber Vallone and I have a daughter Rayanne Graff who I leave... in your capable hands everyday, and what I'd like to know is... while you're bringing in counselors, and being all upset... should I just send my daughter to school in a bullet prove vest... every day or are you actually going to do something... about the guns in our school. It's not the lack of economic opportunity or the poor home life... or the lack of values. But the guns. You know the things that shoot. Are you going to get that gun out of our school? Yes, I would like to see it happen. Hey, you know, I really liked what you said in there. - Oh God. - l wish I could do that. What loud? Obnoxious? Forceful. I'm Patty Chase. - H i. - Angela's mom? Angela. Rayanne talks about her all the time. She's in love with her. She wants to be Angela. Really? Gosh they seem so different. You know kids. They find one person and they just can't get enough of them. Like being in love only they are not allowed to have sex. Right. No, don't you remember there would be like this one person... who had like perfect hair, or perfect breasts, or they were just so funny... and you just wanted to eat them up. J ust live in their bed and just be them. Like everybody else was in black and white and that person was in color. Rayanne thinks Angela is in color. Major color. Thanks. So, how is Rayanne handling this whole incident? - She's great. I'm the basket case. - Angela's just the same. 'Who's going to shoot me with this body, Mom? ' She says. They think they're immortal. And they have other things in mind. Speaking of which Jordan is unbelievable. Your daughter has complete taste. Excuse me? Rayanne showed me his picture in the yearbook. If I were Angela running around with him... I wouldn't give a damn about guns in the school either. So you think that Jordan has gotten in the way for Angela-- And she was so obsessed with him all that time and now... it's actually happening. But we know what that's like, right? Young love... or lust. What is the difference? Yes. Jordan. I could have died. I did die. I mean, this woman knows and I don't know. She's not even a woman. She's like this forty year old girl. She's gorgeous. And she's telling me about my daughter's sex life... which apparently she now has, and I don't even know about it. Patty, kid's talk. The girl talked to her mother. We don't know that it's true. These things are always true. Of course it's true. Taste this. I couldn't taste anything. Guns are going off in school. - Angela's sleeping with someone. - You don't know that. How is it? You know, and even if she isn't, which I pray is true... she obviously has some sort of secret life completely apart from us... - this is wonderful. - Cilantro. So what do we do? Do we confront her? Oh God, no. Geez, I don't want to know if it's true. What sort of attitude are we supposed to have? Are we suppose to have an attitude? I already have an attitude. But it may be my mother's attitude. I don't want to get hysterical about this. Why shouldn't I be hysterical? She's fifteen. I should be hysterical. Danlelle, lf you have on my sweats I'm going to kill you, Do you understand me? - Can I taste whatever it is? - Sure. - Cilantro, I love that. - Very good. I thought with the tomato it would sharpen it a bit-- l think it's great. is that the fillo stuff? Honey? Who's Jordan? No one. - You mean Jordan Catalano? - ls that his last name? I don't know. You brought it up. I met Rayanne's mom tonight... and she was all excited about your new boyfriend, Jordan. Boyfriend? That's a laugh. - So, he's not your boyfriend? - Mom, I barely know this person. I don't know if I want to know this person. Well, then you haven't... What did you hear? What did she tell you? Nothing. She didn't tell me anything. Did she say I was sleeping with Jordan Catalano? No. No, of course not. No one said that. - lt's just. I just wondered-- - She did. I can't believe this. I can't believe this. I hate everyone. Obviously I told my mother. But all I said was you were hot for him. Why did you even tell her that? Now, my mother thinks we slept together. Okay. Do you want my mother to call your mother... and tell her you didn't sleep together? I could do that. - H i honey. - Hey fag. Go to hell. Maybe later. I have something for you. is that perfume I smell? You know you are boring, don't you? - Turd head. You need something? - Yo, Graff. Why don't you come driving with us tonight? That would be exciting. If I were in a coma. You'll be excited. Later. - l could have handled that. - Yeah. You're doing great. No, no. I'm asking a particular question. ls it fair? - What does fair have to do with it? - Fair has to do with what? Anybody? Fair has to do with the right to come to school... and be able to do your work, and not be terrified. Not have your heart beating fast. Not jump every time there is a loud noise. The right to come in and be left alone. No? Maybe not everybody is left alone anyway. Meaning what? You don't know what goes on around here, okay? Maybe some people have guns to protect yourself. Maybe some people who have guns are like victims, too. And they're like forced to carry. You think kids with guns are like gangsters or dealers. Your saying that if someone is threatened it's okay for them to carry... a gun in school? You don't think the school authorities can protect them? Man, you don't know what goes on around here. Yes. lf l was-- Say I was threatened, and I'm not saying that I am... I'd be packing in no time. No time at all. That's very clearly stated. So, what do the rest of you think about what he just said? Should people take the law into their own hands like that? I mean, is that the answer? Does that solve anything? Anyone? Angela? Angela? And right before the gun went off... I was thinking about how much I wanted that soda. is that weird? Like, why did I leave it there in the first place? And what if I had gotten up to go get it right at that moment? Oh, my God. I think I better change my locker. Like what happens when you don't sleep. Like I haven't slept since it happened and keeps coming back to me... just keeps coming back. What was that? I just keep going over and over in my mind. Like all my friends and they go by the locker all the time... and it's just, not even me. If someone just had been going by there, and gotten shot. It's hard, isn't it? You don't think I could get a few days off, do you? You are here again because I wanted to hear your story... and Detective Martinson wanted to hear it too. I really don't have anything else to tell. M r. Krakow, can I tell you something? This is a good school. We want to keep it a good school. Do you know what I mean? - Yes sir. - No, you don't, son. You see, I've got these officers here, the school board, the newspapers... the television and a whole lot of nasty, angry parents. They all want to know something about what happened. And you're the person who knows that something. Right now you are standing between... me and my ability to keep this good school and I don't like that, son. I don't like it when people do things to my school. You get my meaning? So, why don't you tell us what was the noise that caused you... to come out of the bathroom? - Hey, Brian. How are you doing? - You actually know my name. Of course I know your name. How are they treating you Bri? Baseball bats? Electrodes attached to various parts of your anatomy? Excuse me. I have a class. J ust remember what happens to snitches. - Hey, Brian. Are you okay? - Yes, sure. I'm really sorry you're the person that has to deal with this. - lt's no problem. - Because you know... if you saw something, like somebody had a gun, then you should tell them. If you don't, you would be part of it and people are really scared, Brian. So, you should tell them if you saw anything. You shouldn't feel bad about that because, people will thank you. - H i Brian. - What? You know I was thinking, this whole thing with the gun and all... it would really make an important article for the paper. So, I was thinking that you and I should do an interview sometime. You know, just to let people know what really happened. Maybe sometime after school. What do you think? What? See you later. Has the threat of violence changed the quality of my life at school? No, not really. What do you mean? I just don't see the point in talking about it. Sometimes talking itself makes people feel better. And sometimes talking gets people into trouble. People say things about people and it doesn't always mean it's true. You mean about who might be carrying a gun? - About anything. - Any weapon? No. J ust about anything anybody says about people. It's not always true. I just think people want to believe things about people... so they decide certain things are true and they don't even ask. And it's not fair. Because you have to live with it anyway. But if it's not true the person could always say that, couldn't they? I think if something is false... people aren't going to keep on believing it. Usually people latch on to things when there is a kernel of truth. That's when they get into trouble. H i. M ind if I? You might as well turn it off. No. I like it. This is hard. We need to talk. When I was twelve, my mother gave me my sex talk, I'm not sure either of us has fully recovered, - Now that you and Jordan are-- - Oh my God. Mom, please. Angela. I can accept that you have a boyfriend. I don't have a boyfriend. Fine. A pal. A male pal. Whatever word you want to choose. The point is... I'm your mother, and I don't think you're ready. - Mom, please. - l don't think you're ready. But... I have to know if this is what's happening... because I don't think that I keep you from-- - Mom, I beg you to stop. - l need to know that you are using-- l mean, I remember how this feels, I do... but it's the times that we live in... - Mom, please. - Honey... I know you do not want to think about these things, I know... - you think you are invulnerable... - l don't think that-- You have to use some kind of protection or you are going to be-- Mom, I am not having sex, all right? Really! I am not even close to an embarrassing degree. Okay. I am sorry, honey. I want you to be prepared when the time comes. - Whenever the time comes. - lt will never come, not with Jordan. - ls that what is bothering you? - No, nothing is bothering me. - Something is bothering you. - Mom, you couldn't possibly... understand or help. I don't mean to hurt your feelings so just, please? I am here if you need me. You know that. - That is good to know about. - Yeah. My uncle choked on a chicken bone. That's when the change happened, J ust like that, Somewhere ln those few seconds, I knew my life would never be the same, - Did he survive? - Yeah. I knew then that the rumor was right, Not ln actuality, but ln my heart, Because at that moment I would have done anything, I wanted him so much, Look, I didn't say anything about, you know. - l know. - l just wanted you to know that. Thank you. Because I'm not like that. I don't do that. No. - So weird. - Yes, yes. I mean the way people talk. I mean, people think we did it. I know. It's like we might as well done it anyway at this point. I mean, you know, if everybody is talking about it already... maybe we... I mean, not to make a big deal of it or anything. Out of what? Out of anything. I mean if everybody's... already assuming it anyway. Maybe, we should just... It's amazing the things you notice, Llke the corner of his collar that was coming undone, Llke he was from a poor family and couldn't afford new shirts, That's all I could see, The whole world was that unraveled piece of fabric, I think I have to go. - Look, I'm sorry if l-- - No, it's okay. - No pressure or anything. - l have to go. You could just think about it. It's such a lle that you should do what's ln your heart, lf we all did what was ln our hearts, the world would grind to a halt, And they know that he knows and I can't believe he didn't tell them. He got a perfect score on his PS AT. Do you believe that? Math will be ruined. What does this have to do with Angela? That's when they had sex. Her and Jordan? - At Brian's house. - Oh my God. Can you believe it? Right in the front yard. Brian watched the entire thing through his kitchen window. I thought you and Angela were really tight. She was like my best friend. This whole things been really hard for me to accept. But Brian wouldn't lie. So it's like... it's like she's this completely different person. Like a slut? No. No, she's not. I think she's just confused or something. - Do you want me to kill her? - No, it doesn't matter. Brian's the one who ought to be killed. He should definitely die. You know he's going to rat on Rickie. What actually is there to rat on Rickie. Do you know? I know whatever he did, he did because he had to. You haven't had to clean him up after some Neanderthal... beat the hell out of him. Come here for a minute, son. Rickie Vasquez. Are you familiar with the name? Excuse me? What can you tell me, son, about Rickie Vasquez? He goes here. I don't, I mean... Did you hear something... Did he see something about the gun? M r. Krakow, I'm going to tell you about a little legal term. It's called accessory after the fact. I don't like accessories after the fact. I don't want them in my school. You are going to come to my office today at 3 o'clock... and you are going to tell me everything you know about... Rickie Vasquez and anyone else who might be involved in this incident. And if you don't, no matter what your grade scores... you may not be going to this school much longer. Do you get my clear intent? - Yes sir. - Good. - What? - l don't even want to talk to you. - Good, then don't. - Did Rickie have the gun? Give me a break. God, Angela. Look, because you don't know the whole situation. - l just don't want to see him hurt. - H im hurt? What about me? This is the police now. I have to get kicked out of school for protecting someone I don't know? Don't ask me? And this has nothing to do with the truth. Nobody is interested in the truth. All they care about is... - what they want to believe. - lf you're concerned with the truth... why did you lie about me? - Your name didn't even come up. - Not the gun thing. With Sharon ! What you said to her about me and Jordan Catalano. - What are you talking about? - l heard her, Brian. You told her terrible things. False things. You lied to her. I didn't lie to her, I just... What difference does it makes. I can imagine what she did with it. But it's just that you lied too. When you said you didn't know about Jordan coming over that night. I thought about it for like fifty hours. You knew it, didn't you? You used me. - lt's not the same. - Maybe it is because... you just did what you wanted. And didn't care about what damage it did to anybody else. What damage did it do you? Angela? Angela. Can I talk to you for a second? - How are you doing? - You know. Life goes on. I was thinking about what I said to you yesterday? You know, the thing. Right. The thing. Yeah, look, I'm sorry about that. Afterwards, I thought it through and... - l can see how you got upset about it. - No, I wasn't upset. Some girls wouldn't be, but you're not like that, so... I just wanted to say I'm sorry. No, it's really okay. I mean, it wasn't a problem. I really didn't think about it. I mean, I did think about it, and I thought... maybe what you were saying wasn't so wrong. - No, it was really wrong. - Why? And I just want to let you know that if it will make you feel better... I'm just going to make it real clear that... I don't have any real interest in you or anything. You know. So they'll stop saying all that. That I barely even know you, which is of course true... and that basically, you and I mean nothing to each other. So that should solve the problem. Thanks. It's the least I could do, you know. Right. - Hey. - Hey. What are you doing out here? It's what I always do. I can't make it through a whole day in there. - l know what you mean. - Yeah. What do you need to hide from? Your life is perfect. I'm serious. I would give anything to have your life. My life is so pathetic. You have this great house. Parents that are there. No one bothers you at school. Rickie, I need to talk to you about the gun. Don't. - You can't carry a gun, Rickie. - l don't. Because it would be really bad. Tragically bad. Angela, I don't carry a gun. I wouldn't even know how to shoot one. But didn't Brian see you? Isn't that what he's going to tell them? This is really serious. People are going to think you are dangerous. I know. That's what I want. So, what did happen? My cousin brought it in to sell it. And I got real mad at him for bringing a gun into school. So, we got into this big argument... and the next thing I knew the thing fell out of the box and went off. And he peed in his pants and ran away. - He did not. - He did. Big stain. And that's what happened with the gun? That's the whole story of the gun. And now Brian is going to say you did it. - l'm telling you, I hope he does. - No, don't be stupid. You know it's weird. I always think of you as Rayanne's friend. I mean like, you just think of me as... as someone who's just, you know, around. It's weird how something has to happen sometimes, , , to see how you actually feel about something, Sit down, M r. Krakow, we're just waiting for our friends... from law enforcement. Can you imagine Rickie in a high-security prison. - Who'd supply his make up? - Do you think it might be possible... you not make everything into a joke. Angela, there is nothing to worry about. Harlin, this guy Tino knows, he's been busted with a gun... twice and nothing ever happened. It's no big deal. You know what I'd really like? To be put out of my misery. - Are you kidding? This is fun. - Fun? Everyone running around all upset and rumors flying. Can't you feel it in your fingers and your toes? It's like being alive. It is such a rush. - You're out of your mind. - Last year? That rumor about me and Mark Hammer in the orchestra pit... during the talent show? I n that case it was true, but... man, all that conversation. People writing notes. They look at you different, like, trying to figure out who you really are. Like you're famous. Admit it. lt's really great. I don't know what you are talking about. Come in, gentlemen. So, M r. Krakow? I thought a lot about what you said. And I decided that the main thing is really to protect the school. That's good, Brian. I went to the bathroom. I heard a scuffle. Then a shot. I came out. I saw two pairs of legs running in opposite directions. Who those people were I can't say. And if you or these men or anybody else threatens me anymore... pressures me anymore-- Brian-- l will insist on having a lawyer... and I will sue you for harassment and anything else I can. And if you try to expel me in order to solve your public relations problems... then I will reveal to anyone who will listen... just who is destroying the spirit of this school. So, they still haven't found out who had the gun. Mom, it's really okay. Let it go. The school hasn't self destructed yet. It's just so hard not being able to protect you. Yeah, but you can't. - Hey, what's up? - Hey everybody. Rayanne. J ust a little knife. You know, a girl's got to protect herself. I mean heavy artillery like some people might-- [ Chorus ] " The Simpsons " [ Bell Ringing ] [ Tires Screeching ] D'oh! [ Screams ] [ Bird Cawing ] [ Sighs ] Lousy job. Nothing exciting ever happens. - [ Alarm Blaring ] - [ Bell Ringing ] Congratulations, Homer Simpson! - You've just won the employee raffle. - Whoo-hoo! - What do I get? - The job of industrial chimney sweep for a day! Whoo-hoo! Whoa! [ Grunting ] [ Groaning ] [ Coughing ] Hey, this isn't such a great prize. Oh, well, this may be a dirty job... but the big guys at the top work even harder. [ Chuckling ] Whoa! [ Exhales ] Hmm. [ Sighs ] Will 5:00 never come? Careful, Smithers! That sponge has corners, you know. - I'll go find a spherical one. - [ Grunts ] Help, Smithers. I'm sinking. I'm sinking. [ Gasps ] Life... flashing... before-- [ Gurgling ] eyes. You're fired! Dance! [ Laughing ] [ Grunting ] Dance! [ Horn Blows ] All right. We're finally gonna stop those corporate pigs from dumping that nuclear waste. Oh, no! Our boat is sinking. It was I, you fools! The man you trusted isn't Wavy Gravy at all. [ Grunts ] And all this time, I've been smoking harmless tobacco. [ Chortles, Grunts ] [ Evil Laughter] I got a mink chamois, sir. I hope that-- [ Gasps ] Oh, my God! Mr. Burns is dead! [ Sobbing ] Why do the good always die so young? [ Wailing ] [ Gasps ] You almost killed me! - [ Grunts ] - [ Gasps ] Please, sir. You'll catch-- [ Gags ] cold. Smithers, do you realize, if I had died... there would be no one to carry on my legacy? Due to my hectic schedule and lethargic sperm... I never fathered an heir. Now I have no one... to leave my enormous fortune to. - No one. - [ Clears Throat ] You, Smithers? Oh, no, my dear friend. I have planned a far greater reward for you. When I pass on, you shall be buried alive with me. Oh. Goody. [ Synthesized Tones Crescendoing ] - [ Rumbling ] - [ Grunting ] [ Screams ] [ Cheering ] Turn it up! Turn it up! - Hello. I am Montgomery Burns. - [ Yelps ] Now then, I am looking for a suitable young male heir... to leave my fortune to when I pass away. My vast, vast, vast fortune. - Vast. - [ Excited Chattering ] Auditions will be tomorrow at my estate. And now, our feature presentation. - [ Whispering ] - Oh, for- - Oh, very well. " Let's all go to the lobby Let's all go to the lobby " " Let's all go to the lobby Get ourselves some snacks " - [ Chattering ] - What are the two E's? Enunciate and energy. I have nothing to offer you but my love. I specifically said "no geeks." But my mom says I'm cool. [ Mr. Burns ] Next. Give me your fortune or I'll pound your withered old face in! Oh, I like his energy. Put him on the callback list. "[ Piano ] " Clang, clang, clang went the trolley " " Ring, ring, ring went the bell " "Zing, zing, zing went my heart strings-- " [ Grunts ] Thank you! Give the bully an extra point. [ Clears Throat ] I propose to you that your heir need not be a boy. In this phallocentric society of ours-- I don't know what "phallocentric" means, but no girls! So much for Plan B. That's it, boy. You're our last hope. Ohh. I just don't want to be here, Dad. Besides, I started a fire this morning that I really should keep an eye on. Bart, this isn't the kind of thing I normally would think was a good idea... but you wouldn't have to live with Mr. Burns. You'd just get all of his money someday. This could provide for your entire future. - [ Applause ] - Congratulations. You've just graduated from the most expensive and, therefore, best school there is. And your discovery of the cure for the common cold-- Hello, Marge. I'm Lee Majors. Will you come away with me? Uh... sure. [ Bionic Jumping Sound ] I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors. Ah, one more. [ Faint.: Bionic Jumping Sound ] Okay, boy. I wrote down exactly what to say. Just read it, and you're a shoo-in! "Hello, Mr.- - Kurns. I bad want... money now. Me sick." [ Homer ] Ooh, he card reads good. "So pick, please, me, Mr. Burns." - It's Kurns, stupid! - No, it's not. - Disregard. - Oh, he's the worst yet. That's it. Everyone out, except you. One step to the left. [ Grunting ] - Ow! - Excellent. [ Laughing ] The boot kicked Bart! It kicked him right in the butt! [ Groans ] I think Bart and Lisa are feeling a little upset right now. - Isn't there something you'd like to say? - There sure is. Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. [ Laughing ] Right in the butt. - That was great. - [ Angry Grumbling ] It's no use. I guess I'll have to leave all my money to the Egg Advisory Council. Eggs have gotten quite a bad rap lately, you know, Smithers. Eggs have gotten quite a bad rap lately, you know, Smithers. Oh, look. A bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction. - I think it's a rock, sir. - We'll see what the lab has to say about that. [ Glass Shattering ] Why, that rapscallion is breaking all my windows. [ Sinister Chuckling ] - [ Excited Shouting ] - [ Doorbell Ringing ] [ Chuckling ] Look, Smithers. A creature of pure malevolence. He's the perfect one to suckle at my proverbial teat. You there, boy! What day is this? [ British Accent ] Today, sir? Why, it's Christmas Day. - I was talking to him. You, what day is this? - Huh? I'll tell you what day it is. Today is the day you become my heir. - [ Bart Grunts ] - [ Groans ] Ooh, I like him a lot. Just sign here, and your son will stand to inherit my entire estate. Whoo-hoo! We're rich. Bart, get over to the mansion and open up all the windows. We want to get the old people smell out before we move in. - Dad, Mr. Burns hasn't passed away yet. - Huh? Oh, right. So I guess you're in okay shape, huh? - No heart problems or anything? - Well, I-- - Boo! - [ Groaning ] [ Groaning Continues ] I'm okay. Now that you've all agreed to reap the windfall of my death... I must return to my large, empty mansion to rattle around... and await the inevitable alone. - Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - Yeah. - Let's push him down the steps. - No! You know, Bart, since he is giving you all of his money... maybe it would be nice if you spent some time with him. - Well-- - Come on, honey. All right. How come Bart gets to do that... and I can't spend one night lurking in the bushes outside Chef Boyardee's house? Bart, I know you children see me as some sort of"booger man"... but, uh, I'm really not such a bad... dude. Oh, your milk's gone cold. I'll ring for the maid. - Whoa! [ Muffled Grunting ] - Oh, sorry. Wrong button. Um... I think I'd like to go home. If you stay, you can have anything you want to eat... even some sort of gelatin dish. It's made from hooves, you know. Anything, huh? Okay. I want pizza... and I want it delivered by Krusty the Clown. - Hmm. - Hmm. Hey, it's Krusty the Pizza Man! [ Chortling ] All right. Where's my 400 bucks? Hey, wait. How can you be here when your show's on live? Ah, I just threw on an old rerun. No one will know the difference. - "[ Upbeat ] - Huh? Huh? Huh? Eh, children, remain calm. The Falkland Islands have just been invaded. I repeat, the Falklands have just been invaded! The disputed islands lie here, off the coast of Argentina. [ Groans ] This is my pride and joy. I've had hidden cameras planted in every home in Springfield. I got the idea from that movie, Sliver. What a delightful romp. " [ Wiggum Humming ] Are you talking to me? There's no one else here. You must be talking to me. Well, that was an antique. Crap! Oh, yeah. So good. Oh, that explains his mysterious trip to Holland. And I had the greatest time. Mr. Burns's house has everything-- a hedge maze, a moat, bleached hardwood floors and a bottomless pit. a hedge maze, a moat, bleached hardwood floors and a bottomless pit. - It couldn't possibly be bottomless. - For all intents and purposes. Hey! Mom, Bart's throwing peas! Bart, don't throw peas at your sister. Mr. Burns throws peas at Smithers. Ow! That was a big one! - Homer, say something. - Okay. Lisa, quit getting in the way of your wealthy brother's peas. - [ Groans ] - Oh, yuck. Meat loaf. My most hated of all loafs. [ Gasps ] That was the end piece! That's it! Being abusive to your family is one thing... but I will not stand idly by and watch you feed a hungry dog! - Go to your room! - No! This family stinks! Mr. Burns nurtures my destructive side. I'm suffocating here. - Bart, you listen! - Oh, go eat some flowers! [ Screams ] My secret shame. Smithers, my plan worked perfectly. Bart Simpson will live here as my son... and I will mold him in my own graven image. Who knows? I may even grow to... love him. Bartholomew! Ugh! Smithers, get it off me! - Bart, you're coming home. - I want to stay here with Mr. Burns. I suggest you leave immediately. Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees... or dogs with bees in their mouth, and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? Well, go ahead. Do your worst. [ Lock Slides Shut ] He locked the door! I'll show him! [ Rings ] I'm very concerned. Mr. Burns has stolen our son, and he won't give him back. Oh, for gosh- - Can't you people solve these problems yourselves? I mean, we can't be "policing" the whole city. "[ Speakers.: Muzak ] Damn clogs. You good folks can rest easy because you've come to the very best in legal representation. Uh, excuse me. Is there an OrangeJulius stand on this floor? I'll sell you this one. It's almost full. Why don't I drink out of a toilet bowl? He'll be back. As for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state, often as a lawyer. [ Slurping ] This court rules in favor of Montgomery Burns. I find that he is clearly the boy's biological father. [ Happy Chattering ] Uh,Judge, these won't be ready until Thursday. You know, we should really stop hiring him. [ Whistle Tooting ] - Cool train. Where does it go? - Beats me. But it won't be back for three hours and 40 minutes. - Once it had snow on it. - Wow, Bart! Mr. Burns gives you everything you could ever want. My parents use that old love excuse to screw me out of toys. Well, I'm sure you'd like to be alone with your possessions. Um, Milhouse, if you stay a little while longer... you can have this blazer. - It's a Bob Mackie original. - Wow! A Bob Mackie! Uh... sorry, Bart. [ Groaning ] Oh. Bartholomew, you don't need him. I can be your school yard chum. Five, 23, skidoo. Hut, hut! [ Grunts, Panting ] Oh! For me? But I don't know how to drive. Oh, pish-posh. There's a Jaws Of Life in the trunk. [ Laughing ] Whoa-ho! Whoo-hoo! Whoa! Oh! Whoo! [ Laughing Continues ] Whoa! Whoa! - [ Grunting ] - [ Laughing Continues ] [ Screams, Sighs ] - That was some ride. - You're telling me. [ Man ] Mr. and Mrs. Simpson... your son has clearly been brainwashed by the evil and charismatic Mr. Burns. Are you sure you can get him back for us? Absolutely. I'm the one who successfully deprogrammed Jane Fonda, you know. - What about Peter Fonda? - Oh, that was a heartbreaker. But I did get Paul McCartney out of Wings. You idiot! He was the most talented one! [ Muffled Grunting ] You do not love Mr. Burns. You love Homer and Marge. You are their son. What you are doing is wrong, wrong, wrong! Do you mind? You're killing the romance in here. Well, it was a grueling two weeks, but you have your son back. Ooh. Mom. Dad. I missed you. Aww! [ Kissing ] - Homer, that's Hans Moleman. - Can I keep him anyway? Huh? Huh? [ TV] " ... Scratchy Show " [ Muffled Whimpering ] [ Gasps, Screaming ] [ Laughing Continues ] Funny. That was delightful. Did you see that? That mouse butchered that cat like a hog.! Is all TV this wonderful? Um, I'd kind of like to go home now. Like a hog! I- - What? What was that? Mr. Burns, I don't want to seem ungrateful... but I want to go home to my family. [ Sighs ] I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you this... but I'm afraid your family doesn't want you back. [ Stilted Speech ] I do not miss Bart at all. [ Shaky Voice ] I am glad he's gone. - As am I. - B'oh! It's probably my imagination... but something about them didn't seem quite right. Really? Excuse me for just a moment. People, that was all wrong! Homer Simpson doesn't say "B'oh." He says-- "D'oh." [ British Accent ] Sorry, M.B., but I'm having trouble with this character. Is he supposed to have some kind of neurological impairment... like Rain Man or Awakenings? I mean, what the hell am I doing here? And this dialogue has none of the wit and sparkle of Murphy Brown. [ Low Voice ] Hey, you know we're getting into golden time? Yes, well,just get it right... or you'll all be back doing Come Blow Your Horn at the Westport Dinner Theater. All right then. Let's see what the old Simpson family is up to now. Duh-oh! [ Groans ] That's them, all right. I can't believe it. I guess you're the only one I can trust. - Hmm? Hmm? - Dad? - [ Bone Snaps ] - Oh! That rib always breaks. [ Groaning ] Lisa, what are you doing? Just trying to fill the void of random, meaningless destruction... that Bart's absence has left in our hearts. - [ Yelps ] - That's sweet, honey. - It's a little tight. - Yes, that's to correct your posture. Soon you'll have a mighty hump. Now you really are my son. This calls for a celebration. Let's fire some employees. Excellent. Okay, let's make this sporting, Leonard. If you can tell me why I shouldn't fire you without using the letter "E"... you can keep your job. Uh, okay. Um-- - I'm a good work-- guy. - You're fired. - But I didn't say-- - You will. Eeeeeeee! [ Chortling ] Let me try one. Mmm. Mmm. Hey, the trail of donuts ended. - [ Gasps ] Bart! - [ Gasps ] Homer! [ Gasps ] What a coincidence! And a perfect opportunity for you to prove your loyalty. Go ahead, Bartholomew. You may fire when ready. - [ Groans ] - [ Whimpers ] Hurry. Fire him now or I'll disown you. You'll lose everything. The fabulous toys, a lifetime of wealth and luxury... the gift certificate from Blockbuster Video... the freedom to do whatever you want. I'll miss you, Son. I'm sorry, Dad. - You're fired! - What? Fire me? That does it. You can never be my son. - A little to the left. - Huh? Oh, very well. You can never be my-- - Eeeeeeee! - [ Gasps ] Sir, try to land on Leonard's carcass! [ Sighs ] Son, I know you're upset because you thought you saw us on TV... saying we didn't want you in our family... - but those were just actors playing us. - How do you know? Because one of them hung out with me for a week, trying to get my character down. Yeah, me too. That midget taught me a lot about his native Estonia. The point is, the real Simpson family missed you a lot... and we're really glad you're home. [ Kisses ] - I love you guys. - Right back at you, Son. [ All Sighing ] And now I want you to meet your new brother, Hans Moleman. Cowabunga, dudes. [ Kissing ] Give it a try. It's like kissing a peanut. [ Chuckling ] [ Kissing ] [ Marge ] Homer, I want that thing out of my house. [ Kissing Continues ] [ Kissing Continues ] - [ People Chattering ] - Shh! NARRATOR: It is a journey to the end of the world. It is seven years since I last saw Robinson... on the day I left England when he saw me off at the quayside. I have heard from him from time to time during my travels... but now he's written that he urgently wishes to see me... that he is on the verge of a breakthrough in his investigations... and that I should come as soon as possible before it is too late. [Slow orchestral instrumental music] NARRATOR: Dirty Old Blighty... and the educated, economically backward, bizarre. A catalogue of modern miseries... with its fake traditions, its Irish war... its militarism and secrecy, its silly old judges... its hatred of intellectuals, its ill-health and bad food... its sexual repression, its hypocrisy and racism... and its indolence. It's so exotic. It's so homemade. [Slow orchestral instrumental music continues] NARRATOR: I have arrived as a ship's photographer on a cruise ship... in which the berths cost ? 4000 a week. Robinson lives in the way that people were said to live in the cities of the Soviet Union. His income is small, but he saves most of it. He isn't poor because he lacks money... but because everything he wants is unobtainable. He lives on what he earns in one or two days a week teaching... in the school of fine art and architecture of the University of Barking. Like many autodidacts, he is prone to misconceptions about his subjects. But as there is no one at the university to oversee him... his position is relatively secure. Robinson reads Montaigne. "It is good to be born in depraved times... "for by comparison with others, you are reckoned virtuous at little cost." It is now generally agreed that Montaigne lived for a time in London... in a house in Wardour Street... the first of a number of French writers who found themselves exiled here. NARRATOR: Robinson studies the work of this group. Mallarme who lived nearby. Rimbaud and Verlaine... Marcel Schwob, the translator of Defoe, De Quincey, and Robert Louis Stevenson... and Baudelaire, who translated Edgar Allan Poe. Baudelaire never actually set foot in England... but his mother was born in London and spoke English as a child. Apart from his academic work... Robinson hardly ever leaves the flat except to go to the supermarket. When he used to visit friends abroad, his social life was transformed. He became an enthusiastic flaneur... astonishing his hosts with his stamina and generosity. But for several years, he has not left the country... as he wrestles with what he calls, "the problem of London". For him, shopping is an experience of overwhelming poignancy... as the labels on imported goods evoke such longing... for the journeys abroad that he no longer feels able to make. [Pleasant instrumental music] Robinson and I lived together for many years... during which we intermittently maintained... an uneasy bickering, sexual relationship. Robinson is a supporter of constitutional reform. On January 30, we took the bus to Whitehall. It is the 343rd anniversary of the execution of King Charles I... by the revolutionary government of 1649. Every year, groups of Anglo-Catholics and other ultra-monarchists... lay wreathes at his statue, before holding a ceremony at the banqueting house... where the king was beheaded on a scaffold set up outside one of the windows. "The failure of the English revolution," said Robinson, "is all around us... "in the Westminster constitution, in Ireland... "and poisoning English attitudes to Europe." The Wreathe remained hanging on the statue's plinth for several weeks... during which I gradually renewed my familiarity with the city. Everywhere we went, there was an atmosphere of conspiracy and intrigue. NARRATOR: Robinson lives in Vauxhall... a district famous for its associations with Sherlock Holmes. He listens to the gateposts at the entrance to the park. [Children screaming excitedly] [Siren wailing] Robinson is worried about the future of the park, about the buses... the 2B from Baker Street in Victoria... and the 88 from Oxford Circus in Westminster... and about the library, all of which will be under threat... if the government does not lose the election. Robinson explained to me the nature of his project... and took me to some of the sites he was studying. NARRATOR: "Romanticism," wrote Baudelaire... "is precisely situated neither in choice of subjects... "nor in exact truth, but in a mode of feeling." For Robinson, the essence of a romantic life... is in the ability to get outside one's self... to see one's self as if from outside... to see one's self as it were in a romance. He was searching for the location of a memory... a vivid recollection of a street of small factories backing on to a canal... but they no longer exist. And he has adopted the neighbourhood as a site for exercises... in psychic landscaping, drifting, and free association. He seemed to be attempting to travel through time. I had the idea that he had sent for me... to be the witness and chronicler of these explorations... in what he thought might be the last months of his life. NARRATOR: Robinson is not a conservationist... but he misses the smell of cigarette ash and urine that used to linger... in the neo-Georgian phone boxes that appear on London postcards. He is preparing his own series of postcards of contemporary London. We visited Lincoln's Inn Fields and he asked some of the residents to pose for him. I was shocked at the increase in the numbers of people sleeping out... in the seven years I had been away... but Robinson seems quite accustomed to it. He rarely gives anyone money, at least not when I'm with him. He took me to the War Museum, formerly Bedlam... the Bethlehem Royal Hospital for the Caribbean saint. He told me that many of the homeless who sleep out in Central London... are ex-service men and women, or former psychiatric patients. London, he says, is a city under siege from a suburban government... which uses homelessness, pollution, crime... and the most expensive and rundown public transport system... of any metropolitan city in Europe as weapons... against Londoners' lingering desire for the freedoms of city life. [Melancholic instrumental music] NARRATOR: Across the road from Robinson's flat... in what used to be a video shop, a driving school has opened... run and mostly patronised by Portuguese people... who have settled in the district increasingly in the past few years. Robinson has decided we should get out more. He had thought that he might learn to drive... but now he says it would be better if we walk. [Melancholic instrumental music continues] NARRATOR: He has asked me to accompany him on a series of journeys... each one prompted by an aspect of his project. The first is to be a pilgrimage to the sources of English romanticism. On March 10, we set out for Strawberry Hill, the house of Horace Walpole... but were distracted by events on Wandsworth Common. The bomb had gone off at 7:10 that morning. We'd heard the bang, but had not realized what it was. It was two days after the 19th anniversary... of the bombs of the Old Bailey in 1973... the first IRA attack on London. Again, having been away for such a long time... I found it strange how quickly these events are forgotten by the general public. When I asked him, Robinson could remember the mortar attack... on Downing Street in February the year before... but not the eight or so devices since. He seemed to have become conditioned to the idea... that what was happening in Ireland did not have much to do with him. March 10 was Budget Day. In the afternoon, the chancellor of the exchequer produced a tax cut... smaller than expected... to complement the newspaper stories about the opposition's spending plans. On the following day, the election date was finally announced. With the city unimpressed by the budget... ? 10 billion were wiped off share values on the London Stock Exchange. On March 12, we set off again, crossing Clapham Common in the rush hour. [Melancholic instrumental music continues] NARRATOR: Robinson took out his guide book. At Strawberry Hill in 1765... Walpole wrote The Castle of Otranto... the novel that established the genre of English Gothic fiction. The house is not far from Teddington Lock, the limit of the tidal river... and with it, the jurisdiction of the Port of London Authority. "Twickenham," said Robinson, "is the site of the first attempts... "to transform the world by looking at the landscape." In Radnor Gardens, we met two musicians from Peru... and had the idea that we should stay the night there... and walk with them to Brentford in the morning. When we awoke, it was spring. [Lively instrumental music] [Birds chirping] NARRATOR: He told me that Turner used to walk along the river here... and showed me Joshua Reynolds' house on Richmond Hill... with its view along the valley. [Lively music] NARRATOR: We left river at Isleworth to detour around Syon Park... fearing violence from the owner's lackeys... and found ourselves on the Old Court Road to Bristol... a notorious haunt of highwaymen. We had assumed that we could stay the night in a coaching inn... but the landlord swore at us and said he had better ways of making a living. So we carried on to Kew. [Lively music continues] NARRATOR: The next day, Robinson had to go to work at Barking, and I was left alone. I spent the morning reading, then drifted on to Mortlake... where he joined me in the evening. We lay down by the water's edge and fell asleep. In the nostalgias of the electronic age... hunter-gatherer economists supported affluent egalitarian societies... saturated with understanding of inner experience and proficient in art. Even in the Kalahari Desert... the working week seldom exceeded 20 hours... and half the population was skilled in healing, rainmaking, or hunting magic... by means of visions and out-of-body travel... in ceremonies of music, dance, and trance. The next morning, we walked to Hammersmith... and rested outside the house of William Morris. We remembered what we used to think of as the future: Sophisticated engineering, low consumption... renewable energy, public transport. But just now, London is all waste without a future... its public spaces either void... or the stage sets for spectacles of 19th century reaction... endlessly re-enacted for television. "Most of the traffic on river now," said Robinson... "is rubbish on its way to landfill sites in Essex." Half a million tonnes a year from the depots of Battersea and Wandsworth Bridge. "Sometimes," he said, "at Battersea Reach... "where trains that carry spent uranium cross the river at night... "sometimes I see the whole city as a monument to Rimbaud." Crystal-grey skies, a strange pattern of bridges... these straight, those arched... others descending, or slanting at angles to the first... and these figures recurring in the other lighted circuits of the canal... but all so long and light... that the banks loaded with domes sink and diminish. A few of these bridges are still encumbered with hovels. Others support poles, signals, frail parapets. Minor chords cross each other and slip away. Ropes rise up the banks. One distinguishes a red jacket, perhaps other costumes... and musical instruments. Are these popular tunes? Fragments of manorial concerts? Remnants of public hymns? The water is grey, and blue... wide as an arm of the sea. A white ray falling from the height of the sky destroys this comedy. Robinson believed that if he looked at it hard enough... he could cause the surface of the city to reveal to him... the molecular basis of historical events. And in this way, he hoped to see into the future. [Slow instrumental music] NARRATOR: In the TV news on the evening of March 31... three opinion polls gave Labour a conclusive lead. [Slow instrumental music continues] NARRATOR: He had put aside ? 630... the price of a night in the suite of the Savoy... where Monet had lived and worked for several months... when he painted his series of views of the Thames. [Lively organ music] On April 6, he took me to see the Magnolias of St. Mary le Strand. We spent the night at the Savoy, and the next morning... looked out of Monet's window. On one side, Westminster, on the other, County Hall... the former seat of London's city government... soon to be sold to a Japanese hotel consortium... and St. Thomas' Hospital, under threat of closure or amalgamation. On the South Bank, the whole district was threatened with commercial reconstruction. In the last year before the election, London had become a political issue. As far as the Tories were concerned... London's self-government should be restricted... to a number of inimical local bodies as it was in the 19th century... while the real power in the capital was carved out between themselves... and their friends in the City. [Church bells tolling] NARRATOR: It was the evening before polling day. Robinson voted at the school in South Lambeth Road. As a seaman, I had a postal vote which was registered in Westminster. I expected the government would be narrowly defeated... but Robinson did not trust the opinion polls... which were, in any case, showing a last minute drift away from Labour. Robinson told me about his dream. He had fallen asleep on a Number 14 bus and woken up at the terminus... opposite the Green Man on Putney Heath... a place I knew only from its description... in The War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells. There were a number of men hanging about, mostly van drivers waiting for radio calls. [Slow instrumental music] NARRATOR: As soon as he got off the bus, he was gripped by a ghastly premonition. In the bar, where he had tried to calm himself... a grinning stranger told him that in the 18th century... the Green Man stood opposite a gibbet. He woke up trembling with fear and foreboding... and could not sleep for the rest of the night. In the evening, we passed the library in Charing Cross Road... which was the polling station for the ward in which my vote was registered. The city council had evidently not overlooked its opportunities... to influence the choice of the voters. Although here, too, the seat was unlikely to change hands. At 4:00 a.m., we stood on the edge of the crowd in Smith Square. It seemed there was no longer anything a Conservative government could do... to cause it to be voted out of office. We were living in a one-party state. It is difficult to recall the shock with which we realised our alienation... from the events that were taking place in front of us. Robinson's first reaction was one of spleen. "There were," he said, "no mitigating circumstances." The press, the voting system, the impropriety of Tory party funding... none of these could explain away the fact that the middle class in England... had continued to vote Conservative because in their miserable hearts... they still believed that it was in their interests to do so. Robinson began to consider what the result would mean for him. His flat would continue to deteriorate, and its rent increase. He would be intimidated by vandalism and petty crime. The bus service would get worse. There would be more traffic and noise pollution... and an increased risk of getting knocked down crossing the road. There would be more drunks pissing in the street when he looked out of the window... and more children taking drugs on the stairs when he came home at night. His job would be at risk and subjected to interference. His income would decrease. He would drink more and less well. He would be ill more often. He would die sooner. For the old, or anyone with children, it would be much worse. For London as a whole, there would now be no new elected metropolitan authority. The public transport system would degenerate into chaos... as it was deregulated and privatised. There would be more road schemes. Hospitals would close. As the social security system was dismantled... there would be increased homelessness and crime... with the police more often carrying guns. The population would continue to decline as those who could, moved away... and employers followed. As Robinson went to work along the road that leads to Basildon... he passed the print works of the Financial Times... which had given its editorial support to Labour in the last days of the campaign. [Alarm ringing] NARRATOR: The bomb had gone off at 9:30 the previous evening. Three people were killed and 91 injured. It was the first of two explosions that night. There was another at Staples Corner on the North Circular Road... and it was positioned to spectacular effect... shattering windows up to half a mile away. Its target was London's insurance market. As we waited with a group of journalists... the police brought a man out through the cordon... and he began to harangue us with conspiracy theories of all kinds. Robinson immediately recognised this individual as a man after his own heart. He was a man of the crowd. After several hours, we were escorted to the scene of the explosion. By Monday, the cordoned area had been so reduced... that the public were able to come up to the end of Lime Street. Most of the buildings in the vicinity were empty... or still being examined by structural engineers. Lloyds itself was hardly damaged. On 14th, we visited the wreckage of the BQ at Staples Corner. Robinson remembered that he had once gone there to buy some bookshelves. At the end of the morning, we went to Brent Cross to have lunch. "If I were a poet" said Robinson, "this is the place I would come to, to write. "I feel instantly at home here." We caught sight of a small intense man sitting near the fountain... reading from a book by Walter Benjamin. Robinson embraced this man and they talked for a long time. But when he tried to call him later... he found that the number was a public telephone in a street in Cricklewood... and we never saw the man again. [Crows cawing] NARRATOR: At the other entrance to the park... the gateposts had stopped talking since the election. Robinson is a materialist, his vision of the universe, that of Lucretius. He brooded for weeks over the election result, unable to reconcile... the re-election of the government with his understanding of nature. [Birds chirping] NARRATOR: One day at the beginning of May... we found ourselves in Leicester Square. Leicester Square is a place of particular importance to Robinson. He has imaginatively reconstructed it as a monument to Laurence Sterne... who visited London in 1760... following the first success of Tristram Shandy... and was introduced to many leading figures of the day. Robinson credits Sterne with the discovery of the cinema... in his description of duration as the succession of ideas... which follow and succeed each other in our minds... like the images on the inside of a lanthorn... turned round by the heat of a candle. He was introduced to Joshua Reynolds... who lived in the square at Number 47 and Reynolds painted his portrait. Hogarth, who lived at Number 30 gave him illustrations... for the frontispiece of his second edition... and for his next two volumes which were published the following year. In his enthusiasm for crowds and public places... Robinson is a modernist. Since our meeting with the writer at Brent Cross... whenever he's occupied with his literary researches... he takes the bus to Brixton market... where he works in a cafe in one of the arcades. He's trying to establish a connection... between the Russian formalists of the revolutionary period... with their interests in Sterne and Tristram Shandy... and the poet Guillaume Apollinaire who visited Brixton in 1901. He loves the modernity of Brixton. Electric Avenue, the Bon Marche... the railways crossing over Atlantic Road. He'd tell me about the passengers of the SS Empire Windrush. The first post-war immigrants recruited from Jamaica... who were housed in the deep shelters under Clapham Common when they first arrived. I was beginning to understand Robinson's method... which seemed to be based on a belief that English culture... had been irretrievably diverted by the English reaction to the French Revolution. His interest in Sterne and other English writers of the 18th century... and in the French poets who followed Baudelaire... was an attempt to rebuild the city in which he found himself... as if the 19th century had never happened. Of course he's bound to fail. In 1800, London's population was 850,000. By 1900, it had grown to six-and-a-half million... the largest city ever known. In the middle of May, it was officially acknowledged... that the secret services existed. And responsibility for anti-terrorist operations... was transferred from the Special Branch to Ml5. From its new headquarters on Millbank, a tunnel was being built... beneath the river to that of Ml6 at Vauxhall. The cost of which had by then risen to ? 240 million... equivalent to that of eight new general hospitals. It seemed that every day, we were faced with some new reminder... of the absurdity of our circumstances. Sunday, May 31 was the 50th anniversary... of the allied bombing raid on Cologne in 1942. It was also the birthday of the late Sir Arthur "Bomber" Harris... leader of Bomber Command in World War II... the instigator of the saturation bombing of civilian populations in Germany. Ignoring protests, including a plea from the mayor of Cologne... the Bomber Command Association assisted by the Ministry of Defence... has gone ahead with its plans for the statue's unveiling. The Queen Mother was to arrive at 12:00. Robinson remembered her in Humphrey Jennings' film... sitting next to Kenneth Clark, the art historian... at a concert by Dame Myra Hess at the National Gallery in 1941. As she was speaking, a group of people began shouting... "Murderer, mass murderer!" She hesitated while police suppressed the demonstrators, then carried on. Robinson said afterwards that throughout the event... he found it impossible to stop thinking about his father. But I have never met his father, so I didn't know what he meant. On May 28th, the Canary Wharf Development... on the Isle of Dogs had been taken into administration. Robinson had up to now avoided this project. But with its failure, he decided to adopt it... as a monument to Rimbaud in memory of his wanderings in the London docks. On June 4th, we passed through Leicester Square again... and found it being officially reopened by the Queen... who was to switch on a new electricity substation which had been built beneath it. We heard that earlier, someone in the crowd had shouted: "Pay your taxes, you scum"... but there were no other incidents. The next day, we set out on our second expedition. Wilhelm Kostrowitzky... a young man who later became the poet Guillaume Apollinaire... visited London in 1901. He had met an English governess, Annie Playden... while working as a tutor in Germany. When she returned to her family's home in Clapham North... he followed, hoping to persuade her to marry him. The name of Landor was familiar to Apollinaire... from the work of Edgar Allan Poe. And conjured up an image of idyllic domesticity. Annie rejected him and emigrated to America... leaving strict instructions that he was never to be told where she had gone. Robinson was following up a rumour... that Conan Doyle had once lived in the neighbourhood. But he was unable to contact anyone who could help him. At Stockwell, he took me to the bus garage. I asked him where we were going and he said he would like to walk... to London Bridge and through the city to Stoke Newington... to find the school where Edgar Allan Poe had been a pupil. The next morning we set off again. It was hot and at lunch time, we stopped to rest... outside the derelict hospital near the Oval Station. Robinson tires easily. He thinks there's something the matter with his liver. Opposite St. Mark's Church, one of four built... to commemorate the victory at Waterloo... he showed me railings made of stretchers used in air raid shelters. He told me how much he admired the design of the Routemaster buses... which he said was based on techniques of aircraft construction... developed during World War II. And about Douglas Scott, their designer who taught at the Central School of Art. He told me about the London County Council... London's first Metropolitan authority... which built thousands of flats all over London... in the years between the two world wars. Near the Elephant and Castle... we met a couple who'd lived in a pre-fabricated temporary house... since it was installed in 1965. These buildings stood next to a hotel... where groups of visiting school children often stayed. It had originally been a hostel for homeless men. One of many that had been converted into hotels... in the days when hotel building in London attracted government subsidy. Now it was rumoured to be in financial difficulties. After 27 years in the house where they had brought up all their children... they were reluctant to leave... and had been offered nothing with comparable amenities. But as their neighbours disappeared one by one... the house was increasingly vulnerable. And they no longer felt able to leave it for more than a couple of days. The next morning, Robinson rested... and I had been offered a ticket for the ceremony of Trooping the Colour. Robinson was dismissive of my interests... but I thought it unlikely that I would ever have the chance to see it again. The custom of Trooping the Colour in honour of the sovereign's birthday... was initiated in 1805. The colours are those of the household regiments of Horse and Foot Guards... the oldest of which were formed to accompany Charles II... into exile in Flanders. I was amazed at the contrast between the precision and splendour of the display... and the squalor of the surrounding city and its suburbs. I had read that the Bearskin cap... was still worn in combat in the battles of the Crimean War. Based on the caps of French grenadiers captured in 1762... the bear skin has been worn by guardsmen since Waterloo... the victory that restored reactionary governments throughout Europe. Real fur is still used... though there have been experiments with nylon. This year there was a good deal of interest in the arrival of the Princess of Wales... following the revelations about her private life. I was lucky to have been offered a ticket for attendances by invitation only. But my employment on the cruise ship... had led to some unexpected introductions. It was certainly an impressive display... and the audience was appreciative despite the presence... of large numbers of security personnel. Two more bombs had gone off in the previous week. I thought it odd how Londoners hardly seemed to notice... the monarchy and its military trappings... as I was constantly inconvenienced... by their occupation of such large areas in the centre of the city. In the afternoon, we resumed our journey at the elephantine castle... from which buses leave for all parts of South London. Robinson was an expert in the history of the Elephant and Castle. He knew about all the buildings and their architects... and the bureaucracy that had undermined their good intentions. He was nostalgic for the period and would hear nothing said against it. He told me that the Elephant did not really get its name... from the Infanta of Castille who'd been engaged to Charles I... but that the association always brought to mind the King's public execution. He showed me Goldfinger's Alexander Fleming house... nearly saved from demolition. The next day was Sunday. On Monday, we arrived at London Bridge Station in the evening rush hour. [Soft instrumental music] NARRATOR: London is a colonial city. There was nothing here before the Romans came. At 9:00 on Tuesday morning, we climbed up from the river bank... and stood at the north end of London Bridge. I am an ephemeral and not too discontented citizen... of a metropolis considered modern... because all known taste has been evaded in the furnishings... and the exterior of the houses... as well as in the layout of the city. Here, you would fail to detect the least trace of any monument of superstition. Morals and language are reduced to their simplest expression, at last. These millions of people who do not even need to know each other... manage their education, business, and old age so identically... that the course of their lives must be several times less long... than that which mad statistics calculate for the peoples of the continent. The boundaries of the Roman city with its walls and gates... are approximately those of the present day City of London. The City which has become almost exclusively... the preserve of international finance. The City's residential population is about 6,000. But 300,00 commute to work there daily. Some over extremely long distances. Its councillors are elected by both business and residential voters. And it has its own police force, separate from the metropolitan police. In the wall of the Overseas Chinese Banking Corporation in Cannon Street... is encased the last remaining fragment of the London Stone. This, said Robinson, is the airborne vessel... on which the magician Bladud flew to London, where he crashed on Ludgate Hill. The last stone of a circle which stood on the site of St. Paul's. I said I thought it was a Roman milestone, but he ignored me. This is the stone that Jack Kade... the Kentish rebel struck with his staff when he took possession of the city. Robinson could not strike the stone, but he was inspired by it... and declared Cannon Street to be a sacred site... and the Number 15 a sacred bus route. [Slow instrumental music] [Slow instrumental music heightens] NARRATOR: At lunch time, it began to rain. [Thunder rumbling] NARRATOR: In the city, the slump had exposed the weaknesses of its institutions... Lloyds in particular... where many names, including 47 Conservative MPs... were facing either bankruptcy or heavy losses. On top of which the City bomb had left the insurance market... with ? 800 million worth of damage. But it was difficult to distinguish from the building sites... which had been so numerous just a few years before. The eastward expansion of the city's territories... seemed to have stalled, if only temporarily... at Spitalfields on the east side of Bishopsgate... where two worlds co-existed awkwardly. Robinson told me that there were 40 million square feet... of empty office space in London, 16 million in the City. On the other side of Bishopsgate at Broadgate... a fear of redundancy was in the air. It was beginning to look as if the City of London... might start to lose its international position once the slump was over. Beneath us, the evening rush hour was beginning. We waited, watching people getting on the trains. The next day, we left the city and found ourselves in Arnold Circus... the centre of the Boundary Estate in Shoreditch. This was the first housing development... undertaken by the London County Council in 1897. In Robinson's nostalgia... it was a fragment of a golden age, a utopia... and he contemplated it for hours. By the time we returned to our route in Kingsland Road... it was the middle of the afternoon and we went no further that day. In the morning, we started at the Geffrye Museum... where we visited the cabinet of curiosities of John Evelyn... the 17th century diarist. Robinson sees himself as an amateur of similar significance... and hopes that his work, though not unprecedented... will be as influential. By midday, we'd reached Ridley Road... and were nearing our destination in Stoke Newington. As we wandered through the market, he became much happier and relaxed... and began to talk more positively about London's future. I was not convinced by this. London has always struck me as a city full of interesting people... most of whom, like Robinson, would prefer to be elsewhere. That afternoon, when we looked for the place where Poe had gone to school... we could find no trace of it, but opposite, just across the road... was the house in which Daniel Defoe had written Robinson Crusoe. Robinson was devastated by this discovery. He had gone looking for the man of the crowd... and found instead, shipwreck... and the vision of Protestant isolation. For weeks, he read long into the night... until towards the end of August, he began to venture out again... with the fresh eyes of the convalescent. At first, he went only to the library to consult the encyclopaedias. He told me about the Metropolitan Police. In all the years he'd lived in South London, he said... he'd hardly ever seen them stop a motorist who was white. Then we went to the Oval to look at the cricket. [Spectators clapping] [Siren wailing in the distance] NARRATOR: By the end of the month, he was ready for the carnival. He asked me if I found it strange... that the largest street festival in Europe should take place in London... the most unsociable and reactionary of cities. I said that I didn't find it strange at all... for only in the most unsociable of cities would there be a space for it. And in any case, for many people, London was not at all unsociable. [Lively Oriental instrumental music playing] NARRATOR: I told him that the great Bartholomew Fair... used to take place at the same time at the end of August. It was held for centuries at Smithfield until banned in 1855... as an offence to pubic dignity and morals. The next day, we went for a walk in the West End. The house in which Rimbaud and Verlaine lived as lovers... was demolished in 1938 to make way for a telephone exchange... where a monument to their tempestuous relationship has been erected. Robinson is experimenting again with time travel. On September 7, the anniversary of their arrival in London in 1872... he took me to Piccadilly Circus... where he hoped he might make some new discovery. He told me how they improved their English... by reading Poe's Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym... another tale of an Atlantic sea voyage... of shipwreck and deprivation... which ends unfinished, with the revelation that the earth is hollow... and open at the poles. [Slow orchestral instrumental music] NARRATOR: But his discovery was in the street. He told me that Rimbaud in particular... found the strangeness of the Victorian metropolis conducive to work. He spent long days wandering in the docks... where drugs were easily available. Robinson told me the story of another exile... the Russian socialist, Alexander Herzen... who arrived in London at the end of August, 1852... and lived initially in Trafalgar Square, in Morris Hotel... demolished when South Africa House was built in 1935. That evening, he read from Herzen's Memoirs. There is no town in the world which is more adapted... for training one away from people... and training one into solitude, than London. The manner of life, the distances, the climate... the very multitude of the population in which personality vanishes... all this together with the absence of continental diversions... conduces to the same effect. One who knows how to live alone has nothing to fear from the tedium of London. The life here, like the air here, is bad for the weak, for the frail... for one who seeks a prop outside himself... for one who seeks welcome, sympathy, attention. The moral lungs here must be as strong as the physical lungs... whose task it is to separate oxygen from the smoky fog. The masses are saved by battling for their daily bread... the commercial classes, by their absorption in heaping up wealth... and all, by the bustle of business. But nervous and romantic temperaments, fond of living among people... fond of intellectual sloth... and of idly luxuriating in emotion... are bored to death here, and fall into despair. Wandering lonely about London, I lived through a great deal. In the evening, when my son had gone to bed, I usually went out for a walk. I scarcely ever went to see anyone. I read the newspapers and stared in taverns at the alien race... and lingered on the bridges across the Thames. I used to sit and look, and my soul would grow quieter and more peaceful. And so for all this, I came to love this fearful ant heap... where every night, 100,000 men know not where they will lay their heads... and the police often find women and children dead of hunger... beside hotels where one cannot eat for less than ? 2. [Train approaching] NARRATOR: The next day, in the vicinity of St. Paul's... we found ourselves in a street that neither of us knew. In fact, Robinson was convinced that the last time we had visited St. Paul's... the street had not been there at all. We heard music... then laughter and voices... but they were talking not in English, but in French. We tried the door, but could not get in. Robinson had wandered all over London for years... searching for the conviviality of cafe life. At last he had found it. And where else but in the city with its ancient sanctuaries... and superstitions? He had thought that nothing of this had survived its occupation... by the armies of banking and finance... but now he predicted that the City would soon once again... become the centre of Bohemian London. In an empty bar in Fleet Street, once the misogynist haunt of hacks... now incarcerated on the Isle of Dogs... he outlined his scenario. As the City decayed, it would be reclaimed by artists, poets and musicians... the pioneers of urbanism... as the docks and markets had been 20 years before. But as we passed along the north side of St. Paul's... he stopped and gazed intently... at a figure which had been hidden behind the railings. He remembered how soon the artists had been priced out of the docks... by developments of offices and shopping malls. He reflected that although the city may be in decline... it would still be many years before the Bank of England... reopened as a discotheque. He said that London was now a city of fragments... that were no longer organised around the centre... and that if we were to find modernity anywhere... it would be in the suburbs. And so it was that we returned to the valley of the River Brent. It was a few days after the collapse of the final attempts to prop up the pound... and its withdrawal from the European exchange rate mechanism. We contemplated an impoverished provincial future... as European influence declined. In the new circumstances, there would be even less willingness... to invest in London's future. We imagined a scenario in which the centre of the city continued to decline... and activities previously thought of as urban... began to take place in the suburbs. Robinson was optimistic. He predicted that we would discover vital new, artistic, and literary activity... emerging everywhere... as we followed the river through the suburbs of Northwest London. [Birds chirping] NARRATOR: Robinson was full of plans: The poetry of the Electronic Age. He imagined his studio overlooking the lake... and we set out with a new sense of purpose toward Brent Park in Neasden. [Upbeat orchestral instrumental music] NARRATOR: In the supermarket, we found a cafe... with friendly staff and pleasant, inexpensive food... but there was no sign of anyone writing poetry. At Ikea, the restaurant also seemed promising... though it had given up selling wine and beer... but the atmosphere was disappointing... tainted by the ill humour that so often accompanies questions of interior design. We had hoped to visit the restaurant at Wembley Stadium... a design of Owen Williams... but we could not get in. In Ealing Road, Wembley, Robinson finally found... the city life he'd been looking for. And he spent the day there... working in the cafes, reading, and writing in his notebooks. The next day, we reached Hanger Lane... and the river left the North Circular, flowing west... alongside Western Avenue. At Perivale, the river left the road and we followed it. As we moved away from the main thoroughfares... there were fewer people about. We found ourselves on the edge of a large area of open space... much of it without specific use. [Lively instrumental music] NARRATOR: At the golf course, one of several... he imagined a reform of the game to make it more artistic. [Lively instrumental music continues] NARRATOR: Beyond Hanwell, the river is navigable... from the point at which it meets the Grand Union Canal... at the edge of the open land surrounding Osterley Park. For all his talk about the city... I had the idea that Robinson really felt at home here. At Boston Manor, we sat outside in the gardens. And he recalled the days he used to spend wandering in the outskirts of the city... always longing to escape. He told me the story of Baudelaire's journey to Mauritius... and of the lifelong impression three weeks there made on him. He told me of his desire to be nomadic... and of his melancholy for all the people in the world... their ways of life and their inventions... swept away by violence and trade. In the evening, we reached Brentford Basin where we heard music in the distance. [Men singing in the distance] NARRATOR: It was our companions, Carlos and Aquiles... who were living in a houseboat there. We stayed with them for several days which we spend walking by the river. [Lively music] NARRATOR: The next Sunday, we returned to London. I had noticed that Robinson hardly ever goes into a pub. He says he feels threatened by the atmosphere. On Monday, October 12... another bomb had gone off in a pub in St. Martin's Lane. Five people were injured and one of them later died. The bomb was the eighth in London within a week. Robinson told me that he also never goes to clubs. From the Athenian to the most provisional of lowlife nightclubs he says: "The principle of exclusivity or fear of the mob... "has poisoned social life in London." It was the day after the announcement of the pit closures. A week later, on the 21st... the Miner's Union held a huge rally in Hyde Park. This event marked the beginning of a period in which... the government's failures and its bungling of the currency crisis... had created a mood of such uncertainty... that it was beginning to seem possible it might not survive the winter. It was years since we'd seen such a large turnout... of the Labour movement in London. And when the rally marched through Kensington... the extent of public support for the miners was thought surprising... in such a wealthy district. In the afternoon, there was a meeting at Central Hall, Westminster... to lobby parliament in preparation for the House of Commons vote... which was addressed by miners' MPs. At about 10:30, the vote took place. We watched the television crews on the green... opposite the House of Commons. The Tories' backbench rebels, threatened and cajoled... had mostly given in. The amended closure programme was passed... with Ulster Unionists support by a majority of 13. [Church bells tolling] On the 25th, a massive protest march assembled on the Embankment. Robinson and I marched with a group of his colleagues. For once, there was a feeling of being in the majority... tempered only by the reticence of middle class attendants... of political demonstrations. Though Robinson's solidarity was genuine enough... as he knew he would soon be facing redundancy himself. [Rain pattering] NARRATOR: By the time we reached Hyde Park, the speakers had finished... and 300,000 people were dispersing. [Slow melancholic instrumental music] NARRATOR: Robinson had been talking with a colleague who lives in Southall. She invited us to spend the evening with her family celebrating Diwali. The next day, we explored the landscapes that surround the airport. [Airplane engines roaring] NARRATOR: By nightfall, we'd reached Cranford on the Great West Road. We spent the evening in a large tandoori restaurant... writing up our notes... and stayed the night in a hotel just across the road. [Airplane engines roaring] The next day was hot and we spent it in the atrium of the air-conditioned Hilton. In the late afternoon, we came out and walked along... the road next to the runway... until we came to Hatton Cross where we took the Underground home. [Airplane engines roaring] NARRATOR: The next day, we came back again. [Birds chirping] NARRATOR: It was November 4, the night of the first Maastricht vote... and the government faced possible defeat for the second time in two weeks... but they held on again with a majority of three. We watched the interviews: First with an obscure MP from Norfolk who changed his mind at the last minute... and then with one from Staffordshire who hadn't. But we could make no sense of either of them. Robinson began to talk as he often did of leaving the country... but as always he had no idea where to go. Life is a hospital where every patient... is obsessed by the desire of changing beds. One would like to supper opposite the stove... another is sure he'd get well beside the window. It always seems to me that I should be happy anywhere but where I am. And this question of moving... is one that I'm eternally discussing with my soul. It was Guy Fawkes Night. And we went to the bonfire in Kennington Park. [Slow instrumental music] [Slow instrumental music continues] NARRATOR: On November 11, we boarded a Number 11 bus... and travelled east towards the City. Robinson told me that his work was nearly over. He argued that the failure of London was rooted in the English fear of cities. A Protestant fear of potpourri and socialism. The fear of Europe... that had disenfranchised Londoners and undermined their society. He denounced the anachronisms of the City and its constitutional privileges. In Fleet Street, I had to restrain his attempts at violence... towards the Lord Mayor. But later, when we stood on the portico of the Royal Exchange... he became quiet and reflected. For Londoners, London is obscured. Too thinly spread, too private for anyone to know. Its social life invisible, its government abolished. Its institutions at the discretion of either monarchy or state. Or the city, where at the historic centre... there is nothing but a civic void... which fills and empties daily with armies of clerks and dealers... mostly citizens of other towns. The true identity of London, he said, is in its absence. As a city, it no longer exists. In this alone, it is truly modern. London was the first metropolis to disappear. We walked home across Southwark Bridge in silence. When we got back, I stood at the window. In the nine months or so since I had returned to London... a number of changes had taken place in the street where Robinson lived. The street itself had been designated a red route. A device to speed the flow of commuters from the suburbs to the centre. During August, there'd been a spate of shop-breaking... by a group of teenage boys... so that all the shops across the road had fitted roller shutters... and at night the pavement was now lined with aluminium. The next morning, I woke at 5:30. [Birds chirping] [Slow melancholic instrumental music] [Slow melancholic instrumental music continues] You ever fart and sneeze at the same time? You ever barf up something you know you didn't eat? I got sick one time and barfed a whole shrimp. I mean, I know I chewed it. I got a better one. Once, I barfed so hard that I pulled a string bean out of my nose. That was gross. Oh, that's so slimy. Ew. You know when you just wake up, and you're sick, and you're just waiting to suck it down. Aw, man you could hawk one of those ten feet, easy. No, no, no... it's better to blow them out your nose. No, no, it's better to suck. Now, those are not the best loogies. My cousin hawked a loogie from the top of the Empire State Building. Hit a lady in the head. Killed her. He's in prison now. In prison for snot. Boom, boom. Okay, you guys, come on. We place here in the time capsule... The sacred shoe box. Okay, in the sacred shoe box, the things we do not understand, to be opened again when all the mysteries of the universe have been revealed to us. Who's first? Kevin. I found it in my mom's secret drawer, in this plastic box. I know what this is. It goes in the bottom of the bathtub to stop the drain. No, it doesn't. It's a diaphragm. It prevents the passage of sperm into the uterus... in girls. How do you know that? I saw it on Nightline. I'm telling you, Frank, it goes in the bottom of the bathtub. I think it's a travel drinking cup. She'll never miss it. Wait, don't drink out of it until we know what it is. Yeah. Brad. I found it in my sister's room. I believe it's some kind of weapon. A picture of my dead mother. How come you're putting it in the box? Because I don't know why my dad keeps all of her pictures hidden in the attic, and tells me she looked like Grace Kelley. Who's Grace Kelley? Oh, she was a very famous clown. She was a princess. And, also... I don't know what it's like to have a mother. We could tell you. You can't tell somebody something like that. Have you ever noticed that girls don't fart? My mom farts. Looks like a boob. Yeah. Make them fly around. My boob's bigger than yours. Let's see if you can catch my boob. You've got, like, a mosquito bite boob, Frank. Why don't girls spit? They're hiding something from us. The rules have changed. Gotcha. It's a battle of the sexes... and believe me, we are way behind. Shit! I can't dance. You see this, Frank? This little seedling represents an entire species of marsh grass. If it lives, the wetlands will survive, Mortlake turtle can return to its natural habitat, and birds like the glossy ibis won't lose another precious nesting place. Dad, if you don't get dressed, we'll be late for school. Dad, if you don't get dressed, we'll be late for school. Hey, hey, look at this. You won a prize. Yeah. What is that? Homework. They're assigning Cosmopolitan as homework? No, they assigned this, but I'm getting nowhere with it. You can't relate that to the real world. Like how? Like, was Mom a virgin when you married her? What are you studying, religion? Sex. Are you going to tell me about Mom or not? No. Boy, that's good coffee. Fresh brewed? Instant. Now, how 'bout if you love someone? Do you have to have sex with them? This can't be instant. We ran out of beans. And if you kiss a girl, what base is that, and where's the birth canal? I have a chart. You never have to have sex if you don't want to, kissing a girl's first base, the birth canal's right there, and you shouldn't have sex unless you're in love and probably married. Why not? I don't remember-- it has something to do with not wanting to have babies with people you don't know. It says in this magazine that there's a spot on a woman you can touch to drive her completely insane. I don't think the magazine's a good idea. And in my experience, there is no such place. Dad. What? When I grow up, do I have to have hair all over my body? You saw your sister naked in the shower? Sort of. I was hiding in the laundry basket. Hey, Stacey. Hi, Brad. I saw you in the drug store yesterday. You were buying Juicy Fruit gum. Are you going to the dance Saturday? It's a '50s sock hop, you know. I'm thinking of going to the dance. Can I wear your jacket today, Brad? Oh, come on, what do you want for it? I want to take you to the closet... No way! You are so bad. What'd you say to her? I told her what I wanted. I don't think she's that kind of girl. She's a girl, Frank. All girls are that kind of girl. She didn't used to be a girl. Hey, guys. What are we looking at? What's that? I think it's an elbow. What's it doing with that other elbow? Doesn't look like anything I ever want to do, that's for sure. Will you stop cleaning? Why do you do that? My dad demands complete order and sanitation. I know a place where the girls are naked all the time, where guys can see naked girls all they want, 24 hours a day for anyone with guts and a hundred bucks. I don't believe such a place exists. Where is this? What are you talking about? The city. We're not allowed to go to the city. In the city there are no rules. Everything is possible, and everything is available for a price. Lucky for us, our needs are small. What are our needs? T o see a woman naked. Let me see the money. Come on, let me see the money. The money. Let me see the money. The money. Keep it moving. Come on, come on, give me the money. All right, come on. Keep it running smoothly. Looks beautiful on you. Give me the money. Thank you. That sure is a lot of milk money. Kevin, some things are more important than milk, all right? Well, what do you need all this money for, anyway? Oh, we're going to buy a pros thetic leg. For his dog. His dog lost his leg. So, what'd you tell your dad? I said I was eating at Kevin's house. I said I was eating at Brad's house. I said I was eating at Frank's house. Whoo, yeah! You think the city's big. It's huge! And lots of naked ladies. If I had my own naked lady, I'd never leave my room. If you had your own naked lady, I'd never leave your room. So, hold on-- do you got the money? We got everything! Whoo! Whoa... Whoa... Oh, no. I want to go back. Hey, the footpath's for virgins. We are virgins! Hey, not for long. If you guys get killed, I'm going home. Beautiful. Oh, my God. Do you believe this? This woman gave birth to her own head, and it sang to her. -Wow. -Wow. Hey, Cash, where you going? You don't ask me that. Never ask me that! Okay, I'm sorry. I just forgot for a second. Guys, come here. Whoa! This is going to be tougher than we thought. How do we tell a prostitute from everybody else? Yeah, how do we know we're not asking a ballerina, or a lawyer, or a math teacher to take off her clothes? We just got to go for it. Frank, I think I need to see the money. Excuse me, miss, do you have a minute? Uh, ma'am? Get out of my way. Excuse me. Yes? Are you a prostitute? What? Will you take your clothes off for $103.62? Thanks, Kevin. What? What'd I do? -You all right? -No. Psst, psst, psst. Guys... You guys need some help? Are you talking to us? Yeah. We want to see a naked lady. Ooh, how much money you got? $103.62. Really? That'll do it. Come on. Right through here. Come on, come on, come on. Where? There are naked women in here? Guys, you got to trust me. Why should we trust you? Because I got a gun. Okay, open up, big boy. Mmm. Mmm. Okay, backpacks. Come on, do it. Do it now! I'm full, I'm full. He's got a gun. Get down, get down. Stay down. Stay. Stay. You okay? Yeah. Get us out of here! Hey! Hey, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Son of a bitch! I want my money! Oh, goddamn it! You all right? Yeah. How am I going to get home? I'm going to get in such trouble for this. Us, too. Shit. Well, I'm out of here. You better go. Do you need any help, ma'am? Ma'am? No, thanks. You sure you don't need something? I need 100 bucks, or I'm going to get smacked. You got that? Yes, I do. You can have it. You saved my life. What are you doing with all that money? We wanted to see a naked lady. Oh, God. You know what? Why don't you take that money and go home, before you get hurt, okay? I-I wish I could, but... it means a lot to my friends, and we just want a look. How much looking? As much as money can buy. Okay. Thank you. Mm-hmm. Okay, pull your shirts up over your heads. You first. Show me yours, and I'll show you mine. Our what? Armpits, come on. Come on. Okay, you're not hairy enough to be dangerous. We're not hairy at all. So, what's your name, lady? V. Like the letter? What's it stand for? What's your name? Kevin. I'm Frank. Brad. -Hey. -Oh, hey. Oh, God. Come on, come in. Excuse me. What do we do now? Just ask her to... you know. You kids see a lot of hookers? No, this is our first one. Why do you have a picture of Grace Kelley? 'Cause I'd like to be like her: Marry a prince and never get old. When you take your clothes off for money, do you get cold? Depends on the room. I have this dream that I'm naked at school, and I have to get home without anyone seeing me. I have that dream, too. Last time I had that dream, there was an alligator chasing me. You ever get that one? Nope. Do you ever watch cartoons? Yes. Are you married? Boy, you ask a lot of questions. The meter's ticking. She's on the bed. She's on the bed! Now, how do you want to do this: standing up or on the bed? I'll stand. I meant me, not you. -On the bed. -On the bed. On the bed. Bed. Okay. Come here. Do you want the lights on or off? Is she naked yet? Don't start until I can see. You turned off the lights. We can't see. All set? What's the matter? -I can't do it. -I want to be a gentleman. Doesn't a gentleman bring enough for everybody? This is the greatest moment of my life. Okay, that's it. Time's up. Any questions? After sex, you smoke. It's a rule. Anybody have any matches? -No. -No. I feel it now. We're different. How? We're men. Yeah. Men without bikes. Oh, boy. Waltzer, Waltzer, look, don't worry. Your cut's waiting for you, that's right. Relax. Relax. Look, I tell you what... -Ow! -Right. Look, if you don't get all of your dough, feel free to kill me. What do I look like, huh? A Laundromat? A slot machine? 'Cause I am not a slot machine. You are a slot machine. Step right up here, folks, there's a winner every minute. Sorry. Oh, what, l-I hurt your feelings? No. No, and you want to know why? 'Cause you don't got no feelings. Yes, I do. I'm a person, and I have feelings. Oh, ho, you're a person now. Hey, she's not a person, is she, Betty? Yeah, she sort of is. Nobody's talking to you. You know what the test is, baby? If you were a person, you could do whatever you want... Ow. and you can't, 'cause you do whatever I tell you to do, isn't that right, Betty? Y eah. I, on the other hand, am a person. I do what I want. I take what I want. I don't have to answer to nobody. Everybody answers to somebody. You answer to Waltzer, Waltzer answers to Jerry the Pope. Oh, oh, you think so, huh? Yeah. Waltzer steals from Jerry, I steal from Waltzer. They think that this is their turf, but they're wrong. This all belongs to me. I'm the man. Yeah... you're the man, Cash. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, and the man's got to go out. Don't neither of yous two move until I get back. I am a person. I'm a human being. Yeah. T ell the asshole I'm borrowing his car. Hey, you can't do that, V. Oh, yes, I can. Didn't your mothers tell you not to play in the rain? Bye. Thanks. Thank you. See you guys. This is where you live? Yep. The yellow house over there. Do you like it? Yeah, it's okay. It was nice meeting you. Likewise. You're a very well-behaved young man, you know. Thanks. All right. Veronica. Virginia? West Virginia? Good-bye. I never really looked, you know. I didn't see anything. That was funny. Dad! Hey! Looks like TV. Can I use your phone? The phone's over here. Where are your parents? I only have one. A father. He's in the T onapiya Wetlands. What's that? Well, this was all once the T onapiya Wetlands. He's trying to save the last five acres, but he won't. Why? No money. He teaches science by day, and, I don't know, tries to save the wetlands by night. I admire him, but I pity him, too. You pity him? Well, yeah, his goals aren't realistic. That's him. Wait a minute... maybe he shouldn't find me here, you know? Why not? He's seen grown-ups before. Hey, Dad. Hey, Frank. Dad, look. Over there. It's a girl. I know. What do you say? Thank you? T o her, to her. Dad, this is V. V, this is Dad. Hello. Hello... Dad. What's she doing here? Her car broke down. Yeah, but who is she? She's, uh... she's Brad's new math tutor. She gave me a ride home from his house, and then her car wouldn't start. You know what it is? Well, it's not the starter. T om. Larry. Wow. So, Frank was telling me what you do. Really? Yeah. Do you enjoy it? Enjoy it? Sometimes. Yeah, you get to move around, change of scenery, meet new people. Well... I never thought of it that way. You seem like a real people person. Oh. Outgoing. Not like me. No? Thanks. I bet you're really good at it. Well, there's only one way to find out. Boy, am I glad to hear you say that... because it's the one subject he's having trouble with. You think you could fit him in? "Him?" Frank. Frank? Are you kidding? At his age? Well, I'm afraid if he doesn't learn it now, he's never going to. You know, I would teach him myself, but I'm way out of practice. Ah! Oh. Um... You know, you should never have to practice. Well, that's easy for you to say. You're a professional. But for us laymen, if you don't use it, you lose it. Well, how long has it been, you know, since you... used it? Oh... I use it a little bit every day, you know-- the bank, the grocery store-- but it, you know... It's probably been a good ten, 15 years since I was any good at it, you know. It doesn't come up that often. Maybe it's the neighborhood. T om. -Larry. -Wow. Well, it's not the battery. In the morning, I'll check the fuel line for you, the alternator, the pump. You know, it could be your plugs are worn down. I'll replace them for you in the morning. In the meantime, uh... could I give you a ride home? Um, no, I can walk. So, what do you think? Can you help him? I'd much rather do something for you. Well, what could you do for me? Well, it seems like you've forgotten just about everything. Well, I remember the basics... but it's... I'm not concerned about myself. It's Frank I'm worried about. You know, it's just not that important to me anymore. Poor man. Look at that woman. Oh, my God. Her top is so low. And her skirt is so high. That is bad. It is. It's very, very bad. Are you, uh... what I think you are? Well, I'm not the public health nurse. Would you... like some company? Yes, I would. Hi. Hi, Andy. Hi, boss. Hi. Did you hear that? That was bad. That was very, very bad. Want a date? I don't think that's going to work. That's Reverend Whitehead. God doesn't let him do that. Got you an ice cream. Being on the job probably makes you hungry. Thanks. What are you doing here? Looking for you. Where are you going to sleep tonight? In a hotel, if you'll get lost and let me make some money. I-I don't think you should be doing this. What are you, some kind of child missionary? Sort of. I did have an idea about the sleeping thing. Hi, Frank. She spoke to me. I speak to her, but she never speaks to me. Hey, Frank, going to the dance? I-I can't dance. Me, neither. Aren't you going to introduce us to your friend, Frank? I'm Frank's father's sister, Aunt V, and Frank and I are very, very close, aren't we, Frank? We've got to be going now. See you later. Look at the way she walks. That is bad. That is very, very bad. Are you running away? No. What are you doing? I'm organizing the fund-raiser. Again? There's only two more weeks before they bulldoze my five acres. Who will you invite? I don't know. Thanks, pal. Frank. You know G? G? The math tutor. Yeah. She's a Grace Kelly, isn't she? Yeah. Light, reading material... Hey. dinner with everything... Oh, great. Thanks. Pajamas. Okay. Turn around. Why? Because I'm going to change, and you don't have any more money. This is sweet. It was my mom's. Isn't she going to miss it? She died before I was born. I don't think that's possible. She died exactly when I was born, to the minute. Oh, I'm sorry. You can turn around now. What's this? Did some rich guy give it to you? Is it worth a million bucks? No. Oh, did your mom give it to you, and then she died, and that's all you have to remember her by? No. I stole it. Oh. T oo bad it's empty. T oo bad you don't have a guy to put in your locket. A guy with a house, a job, a car, credit cards... and a son. Yeah, I know what you're trying to do, and it's not going to work. Well, what am I trying to do? You want me to go out with your dad. No, I don't. That's good. I want you to marry my dad. Let me explain. I never mix business with pleasure. I'm not talking about pleasure. I'm talking about you marrying my dad. But people like your dad don't marry women like me. Well... I told him what you did, and he didn't mind. I told the truth. Really? I don't know. I think the truth kind of gets you in trouble. You know what you should do? Find your dad one of those nice women that we saw in town. Nice women don't understand him. I don't even understand him. He spends all of his time wading around in mud, cataloging plants. Good night. Use the can if you need anything. Can? Looks like a boob. Hello, V? V. V, this is Frank. From the can. This is V. My dad thinks you look like Grace Kelly. Good night. Good night, Frank. I'm telling you, she slept in the tree house last night. You're so full of shit. Oh, my God-- a "C." My dad is going to kill me. What's wrong with a "C"? Her car broke down in front of my house. She had to stay. She's there right now. She's going to tell on us, I know. She's not there. I bet you a zillion billion dollars that you are full of shit. You're on. Name your price. Your leather jacket. Oh, thank God-- a "D." -What? -Oh, no, no, I'd rather bet a zillion billion dollars. Look, if she's not at my house after school, I'll be your slave for life. These are excellent terms, Brad. You're toast. Oh, no. He got an "F". Your understanding of the female reproductive cycle is simply not satisfactory. I'm giving you a second chance by assigning an oral presentation. Oral-- as in from the mouth? That's exactly right. An oral presentation on the material with footnotes and visual aids, due by the end of the week. What kind of visual aids? Well, Suzanne, trash day in the red light district took on new meaning today as one unlucky local resident made a grisly discovery. He found sitting innocently among the trash cans at the curb the dead body of an unidentified white male. The body, when examined by paramedics, showed signs of what police are calling ritualistic mutilation. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. ...or release the name of the victim. But speculation on the street is that the killing was related to drug running and prostitution. Millionaire importer and reputed mob boss Jerry the Pope denied allegations that moneys from local prostitution operations were being funneled through his corporation. Hello. Betty, it's V. I'm just watching the news. What happened? Um... Cash stole from Waltzer, so Waltzer cut his heart out. Guess he wasn't a person after all. V, Cash said that you took the money. That's not true. I, I believe you, but... you got to tell Waltzer in person. Um... T ell me where you are, and I'll come to you. V? Got to... Oh, shit. Got to get out of here. Okay. Oh! Excuse me. Sorry, excuse me. Thank you. Who do I need to find? What am I doing? Uh, Dad. Dad. Find Dad. Um, excuse me. I'm looking for Frank's father. He's a teacher here. Oh, what's his goddamn name? His name is, um... T om. T om, that's his name. ...the edges on the sedge. That's one of the ways you can tell-- sedges have edges. Now, if you look at the composition of this soil closely under a microscope, you could see traces of thousands and thousands of years of evolution. Thanks, Mr. Wheeler. You're welcome, Nate. -Mr. Wheeler. -Mm-hmm. Is this toad flax? No, that's lmpatiens capensis. That's also known as touch-me-not. You guys, I found a touch-me-not. Untouched, unspoiled, here in the middle of suburban uniformity, you can find... a tiny wilderness. Dad. Brian, don't be an idiot. Hey, Dad... whoa. I need to talk to you for a second. I didn't know he had a daughter. I need you to fix my car. I was planning on fixing that after school. I can't wait that long. I mean, I need to leave town. I've got to get out of here right now. T ell me about it, lady. We all want to get out of here. Are you late for an appointment with a client? Are you a religious fanatic or something? No. Why? Oh... 'cause you're just the most understanding man I've ever met. Thank you. Wow, look at this place. What is this? This is the... T anapaya Wet Lands. What's left of it. This is the place that you're trying to save? Mm-hmm. It's so beautiful. You think so? Yeah. Why would anybody want to ruin this? Well... Look... A glossy ibis. I watch a lot of documentaries on TV. You know, maybe I don't have to leave. I mean, it's so safe here and nobody knows about this place. Except you and me. Just you and me. And the 20 of us. What makes for good television? The story as it breaks, live, coming to you from the bad guy himself? I mean, we wouldn't want your viewers to change the fucking channel, would we? What the hell's this world coming to? - Nice. - I'm sorry. I'll buy you a new one. Subject has just passed Flowerbowl. I'm about 30 yards back. - Stay with him. I'm coming on your right. - I can't see him. Where is he? - He's in front of the Pier One truck! - All right. We just passed the Flowerbowl. They'll be coming up soon. So just slow down a little, Dale. I'm pumped, man. Pumped! Stupid cops. - Stupid! - Couldn't stop a snail on a salt bed. - You see him yet? - No, not yet. - When you see him, tell me quick! - I will! - Now... - Yeah? When I give the order, you ram him hard into the guard rail, Dale. - That'll stop him. - I'm a road warrior! - I know you are, Dale. - I am. Time to stop those yuppie punks, Dale! - Dude, are we gonna be on TV? - You know we are, dude. - That's hot. - You know we are. Did either of you ever actually kill anybody? Not yet. I did. How did it feel? It didn't feel like I thought it would. It felt shitty. It felt wrong. But what can you do? Partner, there's nothing you could do. That's what I keep telling myself. Of course I'd do it again if I had to. I mean, it's my job. - Hold that thought. I gotta change tapes. - This is great stuff, guys. I mean, really, really, really good stuff. Real true-to-life. - I love it. - Thanks. Thanks a lot. All right, come on down.! Set it right here.! That's good.! Move, move, move.! I want you over there. Hey! Watch it. We're up. Bill, Wendy, Tom Capone standing here at the border between California and Tijuana. As you can see behind me... the San Diego P.D. and the C.H.P. are working feverishly... to create an impenetrable wall of force... here at the gateway into Mexico... in hopes of stopping this heinous chase from crossing the border. Is such a radical measure safe for the captive Miss Voss? The San Diego P.D. says yes, the critics say no... but only time will tell. Hello, San Diego. Afternoon, Newport. What are you doing? - I was going to offer you a piece of gum. - Oh. - What'd you think was in there, a knife or something? - You could have mace. If I had mace, I would have used it by now. You're not a smart criminal. Thank you. That's what I've been trying to tell you. So are you gonna tell me why you're on the run? You wouldn't believe me. I'm not so sure I believe me anymore. - Try me. - Promise you won't laugh. Why would I laugh? Okay, two years ago, I'm sittin' at home, watchin' a ball game. - Dodgers are losing. - I hate the Dodgers. - You wanna hear this or not? - I'm sorry. At the same time, on the other side of the city... there's some guy robbing a bank, dressed like a clown. - A clown? - Yes, a clown. It seems that some jerk had knocked off several banks... in a clown outfit. The media, in all of their originality, picked up on this... and labeled him the red-nosed robber. So I'm coming out of Osco's a couple days later. There's two cops waiting for me. Bang, they haul me in. - Why would they haul you in? - Let me get to that. I was stuck in Sonoma. The only job I could wrangle was playin' a clown at kids' birthday parties... which wasn't such a bad gig. Flexible hours, a lot of free cake. One of my neighbors, some old battle-ax, sees the story on the news. She calls the cops. They get a search warrant, crash down the door, find the costume. - It's all over. - Did you have to wear those big shoes? I knew you'd make fun of me. I'm sorry. I'm not. I'm not. Go on. So Ari keeps saying, "Don't worry. They don't put innocent people in jail. " Well, he was obviously wrong because they do. - What are you looking at? - I don't quite picture you as a clown. - So you don't believe me. - I didn't say that. They're here! That's them! - Ram 'em! - Time to be heroes! - Missed 'em! - Hey! Look out! - I missed 'em.! - Adjust, Dale! - Jack! - What the hell is that guy doing? Okay! I got it! I got it! Back the other way! Whoa! Oh, no! Holy mother of God! You've gotta be kidding me. Oh, my God! Do something! Bill, Wendy! Are you seeing this in the studio? Do something! Oh, my God.! Astonishing and tragic imagery. A green monster truck... obviously an undercover law enforcement vehicle... made a valiant attempt to sideswipe the BMW... with disastrous results. Almost ready, Mr. Josephson. That was a pretty dangerous and radical maneuver from the police... especially with a hostage at risk and that roadblock up ahead. - Wouldn't you say, Byron? - Radical? Yes. But I imagine these cops are getting awfully desperate. - Three, two. You're on. - Randy, thank you very much. This is Paul Dandridge with Channel 3's live, on-the-scene, exclusive interview... with Jackson Hammond's attorney, AriJosephson. Mr. Josephson, if Mr. Hammond is innocent... why was he found guilty beyond a reasonable doubt by a jury? During the bank robbery, the actual thief cut his hand... on the teller's paper spindle. A sample of that dried blood was taken and tested... and compared with a sample of my client's blood. Jack's blood is type "B" positive. The red-nosed robber's blood is type "A." But because the evidence was collected improperly from the crime scene... it was deemed inadmissible in court. Thank you very much. Let's go back to the studio. Hey.! Hey, look at that. You're a folk hero already. I don't care. If you ask me, I think your lawyer's right... you should keep on fighting. Almost sounds like you believe me. You don't strike me as the kind of guy who gives up that easily. What makes you think that? - Ah, that. - Yeah, that. I'm 28 years old, Natalie. I got a lot of good years ahead of me. I'm not going to waste them away in some prison. - Yeah, but... - Yeah, but what? While you're out getting married and taking vacations... and having barbecues in the backyard... and getting all excited about your kid's first tooth... I'll be in a concrete cell surrounded by murderers and rapists... large hairy-backed men who think I have a real cute ass. I am sorry, but it's just not my style. There's got to be something you can do. I mean, if the blood test proves it, why can't you just stand up in court and scream it? This is your life we're talking about. They've got all these little rules and precedents... and procedures and legal loopholes... and all these fancy words and books... all this crap that's more important than a human being. - So that's it? - Just about, yeah. - When were you sentenced? - Yesterday. - So that's why you ran? - Yep. - And that's why you stole the car. - Yep. And that's why you freaked out when you saw the cops and grabbed me? You're catching on fast, kid. I don't blame you. I do not know why, but... - I believe you, Jack. - Thanks. That means a lot to me. And so to be able to almost bust someone before they do the crime... you have to be somewhat telepathic. So that's why I see myself as almost a prophet. A street prophet, if you will. I got to change microphones. - What? - I gotta fix the mike. It'll just take a second. I gotta get that... Back off! Back off, will you! That's dangerous! Get-Get down, you stupid little nothing! - What is this? - What? I don't believe this. This is Frank Smuntz, Channel 12 San Diego Evening News... riding in the thick of the police high-speed chase. As you can see, Channel 12 is the first newscast to get a close-up look... into the face of this runaway horror. If we're lucky, we're hoping to get a visual conformation on the condition of the hostage. Miss Voss.! Miss Voss! Can you give us a thumbs-up if you're okay? - Right here, pal. - Can we show that on TV? Uh, Frank? Frank? Um, it appears we've lost our feed there from Frank Smuntz... riding right alongside that speeding BMW. - Lolly. - Thanks, Steve. I think before we continue we should take a moment to apologize to our viewers... for that obscene gesture you just saw coming from the window of that speeding car. Yes. That's the risk we take with live TV, isn't it, Lolly? That's right. We'll be back with more live coverage... of Kidnapped At 100 Miles Per Hour... after these messages. Oh, I've had my share of boyfriends. But they've all been losers. You know... boring. They'd have to be. My father had to approve of them all. Old Dalt can't be that bad. He must have done something right. - Why? - Well, look how great you turned out to be. Oh, me? Come on. I'm a total basket case. You don't even know the half of it. No, no. My intuition about people is very good. I could tell right away you had your act together. Yeah? When did you decide that? In the convenience store when we shared that look. Remember? Yeah. Thought to myself only if life were different... maybe I could meet a girl like that someday. - Really? - Swear to God. Believe it or not, when I was holding the gun to your back... I couldn't help but notice how lovely your hair smelled. - You're crazy. - That would be affirmative. You know, you really hurt me with that gun. - You didn't have to jam it into my back so hard. - I'm sorry. About the gun, uh... - What? - It makes a handy weapon in a pinch. You kidnapped me with a candy bar? Well, you have to admit it was rather inventive. Oh, God. Don't be upset. If I'd had a real gun, I would have used it. It sure felt like a gun. I thought for sure everybody would hear the wrapper crinkle. Oh, God. I can just see the headline now. - Hey. Hey, candy thief. - "Kidnapper Exposed When Candy Gun Melts In Hand. " Hey! Hey! Come on. Thanks. Thank you. If my father only knew you kidnapped me with a candy bar. Think of the embarrassment. Oh, God, what a jerk. You know, he's probably thinking right now about how he can use all this publicity... 'cause he wants to run for governor of California. Now listen, once this whole fiasco is over... I want you to get me and Natalie on A.M. San Diego... and all the national morning shows. Call Ted Turner. Tell him I'll give him an exclusive first once this insane thing is wrapped up... in exchange for some good publicity. He owes me one. Uh, you get to work. I'll call you back. - Mr. Voss? - What is it? - Our chopper's back. - Well, it's about time. Get me to that barricade. Thanks, Rocky. This is Paige Grunion with Channel 17 Hard-core News. I am coming to you live on the shoulder of the 5 Freeway. And standing here with me are Will and Dale. They are the drivers of the green monster van. - Tell me, gentlemen... - Monster truck. Monster truck. What possessed you to take such radical and desperate measures... to stop the BMWyourselves? Oh! Dude! We are just doing our duty as Americans. Right, Will? That's right. And that's not the first time we've had to take matters into our own hands. Mark my words, they'll be pulling over soon. We really scared them. Didn't we? Didn't we? - Did you see the look on their faces? - Sure did. - Whoa! - And we'd be happy to tell anyone about it. Anyone. - Anytime! - On-On Oprah. Or Geraldo. - Or SallyJesse. Or any-any... - Larry King. Larry King. Yeah. Or any of those shows. That's right. And you can usually find us at Big Willy's Dirty Dogs. Most times. My name is Will, and this is Dale. And we've been through a lot ofheavy stuff in that truck before. - Monster madness, dude. - Major monster madness. - Gentlemen, please. - What? But-But... - We're not fooling around! We're not fooling around! - Get in the back. Sometimes you got to take the bull by the horns! We're American citizens! And there you have it. Who says the great American hero is a thing of the past? - Back to you, Rocky... - I hope you can see this, Bill and Wendy. It's like a circus down there. You know, Byron, it's easy for us reporting this story... to forget there's a very scared little girl inside that car. We can only imagine, as this chase continues... the horror young Natalie Voss is experiencing right now. Oh, shit. - Just-Just hold still. - It stings. - Mm! - I don't want it to get infected. - I'm so sorry about this. - As you should be. - What are you doing? - You're sweating. I've never met anybody quite like you, Jack. I wish things were different. I'm really a pretty likable guy when I'm not a fugitive. I wish things were different too. Isn't it funny how people meet? I mean, they can come from two totally different worlds... and never even know each other exists. And then one day they meet and their lives are never the same. - Are you married? - No. Do you have a girlfriend? No, I don't have a girlfriend. And it's true that... you haven't been with a woman in a couple of years? It's true, yeah. If all this doesn't work out, you'll go back to prison, right? Probably. So it's conceivable that... you'd never be with a woman ever again, right? Right. What are you doing? Falling in love with you. Natalie, you can't... We can't do this. I can't help it. We may never have this chance again. Wait a second. Wait a second. Can't see the road. There it is. There's the road. Ten more miles, do or die. What the hell is he swerving all over for? I just figured it all out. It's just like you said. I'm your insurance policy. What are you talking about? Well, as long as I'm your hostage, they can't get to you. You can demand a ransom from my father... we'll take the money, we'll escape to Mexico just like you said. Hey, hey, hey. Hold on a minute here, Patty Hearst. - What? - On second thought, maybe Mexico ain't such a hot idea. We'll have to wait in line at the border while they check the trunk for illegal fruit. - I mean, come on. - No, I'm completely serious. They'll never be able to get us. I'm your hostage. There's no way they could possibly think we're in this together. It's getting close. It's getting real close. Subject vehicle, red BMW... now approaching with suspect and hostage. - All officers take your positions. - Move! Come on! Come on! Prepare to engage suspect. All emergency services remain in position. Fire, be ready with foam. Paramedics, stand by. - This could actually work. - Yes, it's gonna work. It's gonna work. - All right. - I know this beautiful spot in Cabo San Lucas... where the beaches are gorgeous. God, this is so romantic. Have you noticed that there's no other cars on the road anymore? Cars? Attention.! Subject vehicle is 500 yards and approaching fast. All personnel stand clear of the barricade. Oh, my God. - Strap in! - Oh, shit! Strap in! Hang on! Maybe this whole thing wasn't such a hot idea after all. This is it! - This is more exciting than election night! - Box 'em in! Box 'em in! - Do something! - Like what? I don't know! Anything! - What are you doing? - Anything! Holy shit! This is unheard-of! The surprise roadblock has backfired! - Hammond's outsmarted the cops! - Get in control out there! Stop that damn car! Don't panic! - The tension is unbearable! - Shit! - Yes, sir! - Stay close to your sets.! - Oh! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! You're not gonna die! Relax! Keep shooting! Think of my Emmy! Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape! Monkeys. Fix this damn thing. Whoo! Hammond seems to be... Bill, Wendy, can you see this? Hammond is leading the pursuit in a giant game of ring-around-the-rosy. Jack, you anti-hero, if you're going to get away, get away now. Bill, this is really ridiculous. It's pretty clear now that this guy, Jack Hammond... is just toying with the police. I hope they put him away for a long time. - You are dead serious about going with me? - Serious as a heart attack. You are absolutely, positively, 100% sure about this? I have never been more sure about anything in my entire life. - We'll be fugitives. - Sounds exciting. - You won't be Natalie Voss anymore. - Who the hell is she anyway? I don't know. I don't know. But you're going to give up everything for me? Don't flatter yourself. I'm doing it for me too. Of course you are. This is it.! Let go of the girl, Hammond! What are you doing? Let's keep going. Look, Natalie, if I had things my way... you'd be the girl I'd run away to paradise with. But I'm gonna be your hostage. Natalie, it's over. I can't let you ruin your life because of me. - I think it's time for you to go home now. - You can't mean that. You know, until yesterday... the worst thing I ever did in my whole life was cheat on a biology exam. And now I'm a car thief... a kidnapper... cop-shooter, police-evader. I can't do this to you. I can't make you part of this anymore. I care about you too much. Besides, I can't hold you hostage anymore. We ate the gun. But you have the real gun. Uh... real guns make me nervous. I do better with the candy ones. Jack, you're innocent. We can make this work. You... You're really something. You know that? - Thank you. - For what? For believing in me. Let the girl go now, Hammond! It's been a hell of a ride, huh, kid? What say you, uh... step out of the car and walk away from me? - I'll be fine. - You come with me. You first. I'm right behind you. Miss Voss.! Miss Voss.! Okay, stay down. Oh, you're a lucky girl. You're a lucky girl. Just get behind the door there. Just get right behind the door there. We will take care of him. Don't worry. Boy, I hope he tries something now. Come on, Hammond. Just give me one reason. Way to go, Jack. Way to go. Come on, Hammond! You're in a no-win situation! Put your hands out of the car where I can see them! - Stand up, Hammond.! Stand up.! - Get up.! Turn around, turn around.! Turn around.! Hands on your head.! On your head.! You know the drill. - You got him? You got him. - We got you now, my friend. Take it nice and easy now. - Eyes forward. - Nice and easy. That hand down! - Nice and easy. - They're on him! Damn.! I'd love to kill you.! - What the... - You got it? - Cigarettes. - Ha! I wish you'd run. I'd love to kill you. I would love to kill you. But you can't run, 'cause you're busted.! Eyes forward! Eyes forward! I don't like you. Keep your gun on him.! Keep your gun on him.! Ain't nothing gonna help you, Hammond. I'm sorry about all this, Mr. Voss. Your daughter is a fine young lady. This is the money shot, Ned. The father-daughter reunion. - Beautiful. - He didn't hurt me. He's innocent. - He's innocent! - Later. That really was funny. That was really funny how that guy smacked you. Give him his rights. Now that we're spending all this quality time together... let me tell you about your rights. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court oflaw. If you do not have an attorney, one will be assigned to you. Do you understand all the rights I have read to you right now? - Yes. - Good boy. Now shut up.! - How's it look? How's it look? - It's beautiful. Know what happens to pretty boys like you when they go to prison after the lights go out? "Oh, girlfriend.! Oh, girlfriend.!" Shots fired.! - Uncuff him now! - What? What the hell? What in God's name? Have you lost your mind, young lady? I said uncuff Jack Hammond now! Come on, Miss Voss. Put the gun down. You don't know what you're doing. This guy's brainwashed you. Now come on. - Ned, get a shot of this! - Natalie, stop embarrassing me. Do it, or I'll blow his brains out all over live TV. Miss Voss, don't do it. You're confused. He's confused you. - It's very confusing. - Don't move! I said, don't move.! I mean business. Goddamn it.! Would you think about what you're doing.! This guy's a scumbag.! He doesn't want you! He's only using you! Come on! Put the gun down! Back away from Jack now! - You've gone completely crazy. You know that? - Thanks for noticing. How do you plan to get us out of this one? Watch me and weep. It takes all kinds, Dalt. Okay, Bill, Wendy, I hope you're getting this. They are walking directly towards the helicopter... and they're staring at me like a couple of crazed dogs. I'm gonna try to get a word from them if I can. This is unbelievable, ladies and gentlemen. This... - Oh, my... - Get out of there. - Let's go, pal. Let's go. - I'm being asked... - Come on! Go! Go! I'm being removed from my own helicopter, ladies and gentlemen. The first margarita's on me. Not so fast. Did you get it? Did you? Yes! I want big! I want cinematic! I want... I want Pennebaker.! Get this. Get the copter. You smell that? Do you smell that? Nothing else in the world smells like that, son. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know one day we had a hill bombed. When I walked out, we didn't find one of them. Not one stinking dink body. But that smell. That gasoline smell. The whole hill. It smelled like... victory. Subtitles by Fred Bashirou! Were you dreaming? Where is Hanieh? Bashirou! Your father hasn't come yet! It's time to play Kettledrum_ Where is he? I'm talking to you. Did you hide him in a hole? Get out from my house. Should I go out? I'll throw you out. I don't even bury you in the cemetery. Captain, come out of your hole I told you get out, he is grieving too. But you're not grieving. I'm going to make you grieving; it could be a relief for these poor people. Whom are you threatening? What are you coming to my house for'? What they are coming to your house for? Because of their loved ones! Because of my dear brother! Let me go Sardar Hossein! Get off my back! Leave him alone. I told him: Captain, the sea is stormy! Don't go! But he didn't listen to anybody, left and killed seven breadwinners_ You said: Captain, how does the sea seem? I said: I am Captain, not God. All of those 7 breadwinners were in need of food, just like me. Leave him alone. Get out, get away! I said get out out! That's enough, dastard! Get out. Get out Bashirou! Bashirou! Bashirou! Get out! Take it, son! Come on. - Whatever I had, was 3 boats sunken - to the bottom of the sea. Hereafler they are not allowing wound, brickbat, it's incurable. Hanieh, Bashirou, You! So you have loaded all of your things. My burden sank to the bottom of the sea, Zaer_ These things I brought are imposing on you. - Then, what are you going to do? - The truth is that I came here to how can I tell you? I came here to be the seaman of your boat. No, it's not possible. What are you talking about? As I do remember all your family members were chief or captain. I am beholden to you and your father so much. Captain Zaer, - how many times I told you these Tangaki people - They are innocent, Zaer_ I am wondering what a compassionate man you are. It's outside and inside of the house as you see, captain. If Bashirou's mommy can clean it up, it will become a wonderful place, you can even arrange a wedding party here! Let me kiss your hand, Zaer_ Oh, captain, what are you doing? What are you saying? If anything is lacking ask the estate agent for it, I will ask them to connect the electricity power supply. As long as he was alive and living in this building, it had become Chel e Moori_ There were going and coming. Food was ready all the time. The smell of his brewed coffee could be heard on the other side of village. But where is he now? Nobody is here to take a breath. - Mashti - Yes This money is my carfs income. That's ok_ Count it down. Leave. I accept it. I want you to count it down in front of me. Just leave and don't disturb my job. Ifl leave now, you can't say that a hundred toman is missing on the next day. No problem, leave and don't disturb my job. I won't accept if you blame. Leave. I trust you. Go, boy! Don't stop here. I don't need your cart, I am waiting for taxi. You can't find any taxi here. Yes, Iwill_ Leave it. Where are you going? I want to go to the other side of the port Even if you say the other side of the world, Iwill make it. I want to go there by taxi. Put it down. - You haven't had breakfast yet. - lt's late. Bashirou! You've forgot it again. - Hello captain. - Hello. - Where are Zaer Kheder's kettledrums? - There. Ya Ali. - Don't worry about it. Rest assured. - Hello Zaer_ Hello. - Just take noljce of market price. - Don't worry at all. Is there anything else? No thanks. God bless you. Goodbye. - How many are remaining? - Three or four. Do remember to lock the door. Good job, young man! Thanks. - How much money I supposed to pay? - We didn't fix for any amount. Take it! I didn't bring kettledrums for money, Zaer_ I didn't bring kettledrums for money, Zaer_ So what? - Iwant to play ketfledrum from morning to dawn. - You? Yes. What's wrong with me? Take it, son. I didn't bring kettledrums for money, Zaer Kheder_ - Is Bashirou here? - Hello Zahireh_ Hello. I want to ask him for baby cradle Bashirou, go upstairs go; I am coming to shifl it myself. Go, I am coming too. You go to their home yourself and tell his mother. - Zaer, I do have to play kettledrum_ - God willing. What do you mean by God Willing? Yes or no? God willing means god willing. No Zaer, - It's not my answer. - Definitely yes or definitely not. - I said "God willing". - I said "definite answer". You are repeatedly saying "definitely". If you want a definite answer, its been "No"_ So why would you say "God willing"? Just say no, at first_ - Just No. now I am relieved? - No. Come on, take it. Shush Thank you so much, sorry to disturb you. - Goodbye. - Goodbye. Bashirou! Bashirou! Come downstairs! Quickly. I am telling you "come downstairs". Come here. Come collect them. I said collect them! Now give them respectfully and with your both hands, when you bring home money, put it with respect, like a real man. If you throw money in front of me once more, Iwill punish you! Excuse me. Here you are. Thank you. Nice job. Nice job. Well, tell me now whafs happened, what's wrong with you? If I transport anylhing for Shemr, I won't do it for Zaer_ Is it his crime to ask you for his transportafions to make you earning money? I have a vow to play ketfledrum, he is not allowing. Bashirou, he is not responsible for your vow, is he? - Hello Zahireh_ Welcome. Please oorne in. - Thank you. Don't bother yourself. I sit on the ground. Don't bother yourself. Thank you Please have a seat. Welcome to my house Hope to have good news. How is Zaer Kheder'? - Fine. He said regards to you. How are your children? - They are fine? What about you? I am fine too. What can I do for you? Indeed, I asked Seyed Abdulhossein to build Ali Asghar's cradle. It's time to bring it. - Seyed Abdulhossein? You mean Tangak? - Yes, I am. Why did you ask Seyed Abdulhossein? Why Tangak? Because he has a good faith. He is well-wisher_ You understand, Bashirou's mommy. It will be better, if an immature boy bring the cradle. - Yes, I see. - At first, I was going to ask Bashirou to bring it but - Zaer said it's better to talk to you before him to see whether you are - satisfied or not? It's his wage. - How should I oonsent myself to send Bashirou to Tangak? - Bashirou's mom, it's been a year since that happening. I had a goodwill, - I wanted to give some money to - Yes, I understand, If your generosity but even if ifs been passed 100 years since that accident, you have no idea about Tangak's people, Zahireh_ Zahireh! I will go and talk to Mr. Zaer Kheder myself. T's not related to Zaer Kheder_ It's Zahireh's order. I said I will go and talk to Mr. Zaer Kheder myself. I said ifs not Zaer Kheder's order You will go neither to Zaer Kheder nor to Tangak_ That's it! So, sorry to disturb you, Bashirou's mommy. - It's early to leave. - I leave, I have something to do. - Goodbye. - Goodbye - Don't bother yourself. - Please. It's not related to anybody, if I'm going to go to Tangak or not. What did you say? - It's not related to anybody, if I'm going to go to Tangak or not. - Don't talk nonsense. Did you look at yourself? They forced your father to drive out of Tangak, they did it to me. What the hell are you going to do there, as a baby boy? You are a little boy. Are you such a man to go to Tangak? So? Donkey work! Pottering, minor works and difficulties are for mine and playing Ketfledrum for the others'. Just you tell me is it fair? Bashirou, tell me definitely how much? - Playing Kettledrum, definitely. - No, ifs not the way. From morning to dawn. You are headstrong like your father Obstinate, dogged, inflexible, tough. If I wasn't headstrong, how could I play Kettledrum till dawn? Ashoura is perennial; ifs not going to be finished this year. Next year, God willing. Don't say God willing, Zaer or say it in the way means "yes". Stand up. It means yes. - Go! ' Tangakl Morning to dawn Give it to Zahireh_ Go ahead. Did Zaer Kheder allow you to play Kettledrum? I don't understand. How you don't understand? Didn't you go to talk to Mr. Zaer Kheder'? I said I don't get it. I said I don't get it. So don't talk about Tangak anymore. If I'm going to go to Tangak there is nothing related to Zaer Kheder regarding my decision to go to Tangak_ So what? My decision of going to Tangak is separate from bringing the cradle. I have to go to Tangak_ Say it again please! How there was no word of tangak before yesterday? Now we are talking about it! I've decided to go there and I will. Mr. Bashirou, did you think if you go to another city, you'll become a real man? We have been faced so many problems because of Tangak's people. They forced your father to move in to Bushehr, don't you remember? Why are you silent? It was because of you and Hanieh that my father had to move in to Bushehr and put Zaer Kheder in trouble, but now for you and Hanieh I have to go to Tangak_ Tangak's people will put you in trouble my little son. - You can't survive. - How can they put me in trouble? They are unable to confront me. I am so tough-skinned_ You are biting off more than you can chew. If you talk about Tangak once more, I will slap in your face in the way you have not seen it before. That's it. Bashirou! What a nice shirt. It looks great on you. If I wear gunny, you know what's gunny? If I wear gunny it will looks good on me. Now I bought something for you that it looks so great on you. It goes with you so much. Thank you. Bashirou! You've forgot it again. - Where are you going with such clothes? - Tangak_ You won't go to Tangak_ I will. I said you can't go to Tangak_ How great you are going there,lf not you had made me disappointed. Go to stay with your father, wretched slatteml Get in. Hey! Hey! Mister! Hey Mister! Stop your car! Hey! Hey! Stop it! Hey! Stop! Hey! Stop! Stop Mister! Stop your r! Hey! Stop it Mister! - Are you a part of these items? - I am extra load! I was extra load but now I am notll got rid of it! Let it be here, I will come back soon! - What are your burdens? - Those are my burden, can't you see them? The burden of misery and adversity! The burden of cowardice! What's your relationship with her'? She is my sister! - Your sister? - Yes. - Your sister? - Yes. Hey! Mister! Mister! Officer! My carfs wheel is there. It's forbidden. That's my wheel fell down there. Go! Go! No entrance, it's forbidden. Ok! But it has gone there itself! Go, go. Forbidden! Officer! This wheel didn't understand ifs forbidden area! It's rolling, rolling, rolling up to there. Itjust happened. It's rolling, rolling, rolling up to there. Itjust happened. Now you come down and give it to me! I can't come down! It's forbidden! Go. So I am coming in by myself to pick it up then I will go! Are you going to come in? ! It is forbidden. No way! Go. Go. So I would bowstring to get it. It's not forbidden for this rope, is it? Where are you from? Bushehr_ - Where are you going to go? - Tan - Where are you going to go? - Tan Tangak! - Where are you going? - I am just gonna get some water. It's out of water then That's it. There is no water inside it. Next shifl will bring water. It's empty Hoy Zeinou! Zeinou, hoy! - Isn't he ZarAli's son? - Yes! Bashirou! Bashirou, - Isn't he ZarAli's son? - Yes! Bashirou! Bashirou, son of Zar Ali's. Son of Captain ZarAli's from Tangak_ What're your Orders? Sakineh! ZarAli's son is here. Sakineh! ZarAli's son is here. Thank you! Goodbye. Hello Seyed_ How are you? Don't be tired. I came here to get Zaer Kheder's wife's cradle. I came here to get Zaer Kheder's wife's cradle. No, Seyed_ lt's ok_ It's ok_ My mother is fine, Hanieh is fine too but her log is not getting better. My mother is fine, Hanieh is fine too but her log is not getting better. I made a vow, god willing, to play ketlledrum for her leg to get healed. My mother works too. I work on this rt and My cart? ! Seyed! Seyed my cart is stolen my cart - Hey girl, have you seen a cart? - What? - Cart have you seen my cart? - No. These ooward people put my father in trouble and now they are doing same to me. My father left Tangak because of me, because of Hanieh and my mom. But at this time I came to Tangak by myself and I won't be stopped at all. I will stand for it until the end. How dare they underestimate me? Are they Kufa's people? If my father can't play kettledrum till dawn, I will do it. I promised to play kettledrum for Hanieh's leg to be cured. I stand for it, until the end. What are they thinking? Seyed Abdullhossein, You make them understand! I am Bashirou! Bashirou! ZaerAli's son! Tangaki Captain ZaerAli's son! I confront them until the end! Unljl last moment! Can you hear me? Did you hear or not? If you are real men, show up then I'll show them! I do something to you that nobody has done it before. Their neck twisted. Do whatever you want with me, I am so tough skinned. I am still in Tangak_ Do whatever you want with me. I am still in Tangak_ I am still in Tangak_ He is not late. Put it down! What did they do to you? I had to bring it so I did. - A man must honor his promises. - Well done! Well done, what? A man must honor his promises; I said "well done" for it! - So? - So what? - A man must stay to his promises! - I did promise nothing, did I? Bashirou, why did you put the cradle here Bashirou, what happened to you? Bashirou! Bashirou! I like you; I liked your father too. - If I would say something to you, it's because of - I understand! It's because you don't want me out of money, you want me to take re of my family. But Mr. Zaer Kheder, I said something else to you before going to Tangak. Yes, you said! But I can't burden ketfledrum to you. To whom I should say not to play and let this little boy play kettledrum? Whoever you see, was waiting from last year's Moharram to this year's to play kettledrum, cymbal, and horn and morning Alam Iifling Everybody has his own vows. All of them have their own intentions. Whom should I ask for'? Mr Zaer Kheder, ifs cheating! It's really cheating! It hurts, it hurts. How many times I made a mourning dress for myself Where did you go? - Hi, Zoheireh_ - Hi, God bless you, what have happened? - Shirou hasn't come home yet. - He hasn't? He came to give the cradle and left on the evening. - He Iefl? - Yes. Where has my little son gone? Maybe to a friend's house or He has no friends here. Ow! - Why don't you sleep, my daughter? - I can't sleep. Mommy? What? - What is it, sweetie? - Nothing! Who is it? Who is it? Kheder, I think I know who he is. Bashirou! - It's Bashirou! - Shush! What a lowlife - where's Dan Lipsom? Johnny Yu, that's Baltimore football! What are you still whining about? I thought you'd be happy we have a team again. This team's not the Colts. The Colts are in the NFL, these... whoevers, they're in the Canadian Football League. I find the CFL's game very entertaining. It's a souped-up version of the American classic. The field is what, 120 yards long, with 35 yard in-zones, that's not a football field, Munch, that's the golf course at Oakmont Green. Their game's for speed and mobility, not three yards in a cloud of dust. I say, if you're gonna imitate an American sport, do it like Americans. They don't wanna play our game. That's why they invented their own. Then let them play it, but we're in America. I mean, we shouldn't be playing their version here. That's a sacrilege. That flies in the face of Balto football history. Some tradition! The owner packs up the team and sneaks off in the night. What's up, fellas? Stan's on a tear about the Canadian Football League. It ain't the Canadians. What's wrong with American sports is you type of Americans. What type is that? The type who don't remember the heroes, who don't believe in miracles anymore. Yeah, the type who bet against Buffalo winning the Superbowl. - You done with the sports page? - Yeah. Even God wouldn't bet on the Billys. Frank? Where'd you wander off to? I just had a little one on one with a potential witness. A witness in the Marilyn Callisto murder? Mm-hm. What'd they say? As usual... he was silent. That's too bad, because we could use a break in this case, Frank. Three young women, all killed within the last 48 hours, all in the exact same manner. We're due a break, huh? You got any background on Callisto? Well, she used to take in these teenage, pregnant street girls. She believed in them, she redeemed them and just like Goodrich and Lundy, she was a good Catholic who used all of her time and energies to help others. Damn him. - Who, the killer? - God. Frank... I really don't think you can ask God to damn himself. OK? And if you are, move away from me. I don't wanna get hit by lightning. This is a new suit. Why does God allow people to suffer? Why exactly did he allow his own son to die in torment. He died to save the world, hmm? But here we are, still, in an alley, asking questions with no answers. You know something Frank, you Catholics are all so tortured. I mean, you're just so prone to despair. Turning your back on God, that is the worst sin of all. Even I know that, Frank. The worst sin in my book? The killing that goes unpunished. The archdiocese would like to post a $25,000 reward to help find this killer. That's very generous, Monsignor. But totally unnecessary. - In fact, it'll work against us. - How so? That money will bring out every screwball with a cashflow problem. They'll all claim to have seen the murder. I'll bet we even get sightings of the Virgin Mary and Elvis. For every lead that reward might deliver, there'll be 100 that lead nowhere. We don't have the time to chase each one down. Gentlemen, Lieutenant Russert, the Archbishop is very disturbed about what's going on. These women were beaten, strangled to death and left naked at three of our churches. So far, we've been willing to bow to your experience in remaining silent, but now the Archbishop feels we must be more forthcoming to the public before another life is lost. We understand, but if only we could have a little more time. We're so close with several leads - the white cotton gloves, a wig found at a similar murder site in Iowa. You're making your best effort. We do not want the public to feel it's more dangerous to go to church than to a crack house. 'There's a woman behind St Lukes in a dumpster.' The first two tips telling us where to find the bodies of Goodrich and Lundy came directly into this office. Now, this tip on Callisto, was phoned into a police station in Union Square. Maybe the killer wants publicity. What do you mean? We've kept a lot of information secret cos the calls have come direct to us. If he calls a regular station house, there's a lot more chance of a leak. So, Nut Boy is still disguising his voice but now wants to be famous? Goodrich, Lundy and Callisto attended a planned parenthood convention in Los Angeles last year. Planned parenthood, huh? That's one convention you could plan on condoms being readily available. - Any word from the ME? - No, I'll give 'em a call. I'll go down there. Scheiner goes faster when I'm breathing down his neck. Damn it, Beth, you've got no right not letting me see my kids. All right, I'm sorry. Our kids. If the kids are unhappy, then let me see them. You will? When? Tomorrow lunchtime. Thank you. Howard, Homicide. Hey, Beth. Lunch tomorrow? Sure, what time? Fire inspector? She knows the bar, says it won't be a problem but she can't get here till next week. Building inspector? A slight snag. He's sick. He's scheduled to do the tour 8:00am Thursday if his rabies clears up. Health inspector? I'm meeting him tomorrow at 10:00am. He's nice. I dated his sister once. - Yeah? - Yeah. All of these bureaucrats have to sign off before we can buy the bar? That's how it works. Why can't they just have one guy come down and check out everything? I'm no expert but I'm starting to believe in less government. There's too much regulation, there's too many shackles and business should be free of these kinds of restraints. Anyway, what do I know? I'm just a silent partner. Does he seem silent to you? - Coffee? - Yeah, thanks. Sometimes after these marathon shifts, I get these coffee headaches, and the only way to get rid of them is to drink more coffee. How about I buy? Buy? It's the squad's coffee, it's free. I'd still like to buy, huh? This is awkward. Bad career move, in fact. Hey, forget it. What? I don't need the new shift commander PO'd at me. It's a woman to woman thing. - Is this about Beau? - Yeah. How does that go? Sleep with a cop, sleep with his partner. I'm the only one who knows. I'm the only one he told and I made him tell. And you don't approve? See it from my end. I'm still on the street, closing my cases 100%... because Beau and I are in tune, in sync. I got Beau covering my back. You two can't be a secret forever, it will come out. There'll be jokes, snide remarks, bitching about favouritism, and one of you'll be transferred. And it's not gonna be the new female shift commander, so that'll leave me solo, with no one except maybe his wife and I to cry on each others shoulders. What's she like? Caucasian, 5" 6', 105Ibs, no distinguishing marks. Nothing distinguishing at all, except a husband who made it out of South Baltimore to become a homicide detective. It's a world she doesn't understand and can't compete with. I'm not competing. That's what winners always say. She wants him back? With all the upstanding, eligible bachelors craving a mother with three small children, what's she need Beau for? Frank? - We may have a witness. - Witness? Yes, she said she saw who killed Marilyn Callisto. Oh, yeah, right. Look at her, she's a barfly that hangs out at cop bars. She probably heard boys in blue talking about the case over beers, so she comes down here figuring she can get something for nothing. She did ask for something, didn't she? C'mon, what was it? I gave her a cigarette. And if you went so far as to offer her a drink, she'll say she was on the Chicago flight with OJ. She was in the parking lot behind St Lukes. She saw an Oldsmobile or a Chevy, she's not sure which. Two guys get out, open the trunk, lift out a body, throw it in the dumpster. - Two guys? She can ID them? - She didn't see their faces. Of course not! She did get a partial plate, 287, she thinks. Oh, so she's down here looking for a partial reward? She's a joke. - She knows about the white gloves. - What? - You got an address on this woman? - Mm-hm. Take Tim, go to her apartment, find out everything you can. I'm gonna have a little chat with her, find out what she knows and how she knows it. Frank, go slow. You see me smiling? Hi, I'm Frank Pembleton. Pamela Wilgis. It's nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too, Pamela. So, she was wearing gloves? - Yeah, I seen it. - You seen what? When the two guys dumped her. You got an ash tray? Was she heavy? Was it hard for them to get her into the dumpster? One guy lifted her, the other guy held the top open. - You see his face? - Whose face? You told the other officer you saw the killers face. I did? No, I didn't. You calling this officer a liar? I didn't see faces. I seen the license plate. 258, right? 287. I didn't see the rest of it. What's the last line on that poster? I, I... I don't have my glasses. I was wearing my glasses. Y'know, a doctor says to me that I gotta wear my glasses all the time, and, I have to admit, I am sorta vain. Well, put your glasses on... and read the bottom line on that poster. I don't have 'em with me. Tell me about the gloves, what were they like? They're white, cotton. They got stitching on the back of the hand, along the knuckle. They're proper ladies gloves. You can see that kinda detail from your car without your glasses? I had my glasses. When the two guys went away, I got out and took a closer look. Frank, your wife's on the phone. Stan just radioed in from Pamela's apartment, only the name on the lease is JMJ Wilgis. JMJ, a brother, sister? Landlord says she lives alone. And it appears that Pamela or JMJ or whoever, has a predilection for white cotton gloves. He saw white cotton gloves? Through her bathroom window. 12 pairs hanging on clothes pegs from her shower curtain. It's her! She's the killer! She's the killer! Yeah. The electronic scratch on those anonymous calls? She used a device to make her voice sound like a man's. Sorry about the interruption, JMJ, it was rude. My name is Pamela. Pamela? Do you have a light? Hmm. I'm confused. Why does the lease to your apartment read JMJ Wilgis? My lease? What do your initials stand for, JMJ? Pamela. It's Pamela. Then who's JMJ? Is she, what, your sister? Why does she have 12 pairs of white cotton gloves hanging on her shower curtain? - Answer me! - You can't treat me like crap! - Sit down. - Go to hell! - Sit down! - No! Sit... down! Where am I? Who are you? Aw, c'mon, no games. It's been a long day already. Whose cigarette is that? Oh, Mary save us! They're repulsive. Pamela. I'm not Pamela, I'm Sister Mary Maude. What's with the Irish accent? - I don't know. - Oh, you're a nun? With an MA in classical languages. Oh, I get it! The old split personality defence. Classic. - I don't know what you mean. - She's lying. All Right. Would you also like to test me Greek? - This is not gonna work, Pamela. - Stop calling me Pamela. Pamela, Pamela. Pamela. Have another cigarette, Pamela. Whoo! Thirsty. Who's thirsty, Pamela, or Mary Maude? Someone else was here? What happens next? You start spitting pea soup or does this table levitate? I wanna drink. How many of you want something to drink? 5? 10? 20? How big's the party? You got no right to make fun of me. I got a disorder, diagnosed by a legitimate doctor. I got inside several different people. - Me, Mary Maude... - I met her. JM... There are others, I don't know. Let's get the department shrink to ride shotgun for Frank. Are you kidding? Look at the way he's smiling, he's having a ball. Tell JMJ I wanna talk to her. If you want to talk to JMJ, you have got to call her. - What the hell is he doing? - Watch and wait. Well, tell JMJ that I'd like to see her. I don't talk to her. Whatever he's doing, it's inappropriate. Can't you see he's playing her game? - I only know she's in here. - She's faking. They don't know about me. I am the dominant. He'll trip her up. - The dominant? - That's what they call it. I know about the others, but they don't know about each other. You know JMJ, but you can't talk to her? Mm-nn. You know her, but she doesn't know about you? Yeah. I don't really understand it all but that's what the doctor tells me. Oh, no, Al, faking or not, he's crossing the line here. I if I wanna talk to JMJ... Give him time. ...I have to call her. JMJ? Can you hear me JMJ? Hello? This could be thrown back in our face. He's all over her. We could get a law suit for sexual harassment. This is the box. He knows what he's doing. He can't be second-guessed. Hello, JMJ? Hell, Al, he's outta control. You wanna stop it? It's your call. You are a mean son of a bitch. Mean son of a bitch? Me? I didn't kill eight innocent women, Pamela, you did. - No I didn't. - If you didn't, you know which one did. Mary Maude? JMJ? JMJ, JMJ? JMJ? - Does JMJ scare you? - No. She does, doesn't she? JMJ? JMJ, we need to talk. - All right, just stop. - JMJ, we need to talk. She's destructive, she may hurt someone again. She may hurt you. Just drop dead! JMJ, you gotta stop Pamela from telling on you. - I'm gonna get Pamela to tell me... - Shut up! I want JMJ here in front of me! She won't come! I want JMJ right now! I want JMJ right now! JMJ? JMJ? Jesus, Mary and Joseph? JMJ. The nuns made us write that at the top of our worksheets every day. I won't let her come. She gets screwed if she comes. JMJ, I order you to come in the name of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Come out. Hi. Do you know where you are? You're in a police station. Do you know who I am? I'm Detective Pembleton, Homicide. You killed eight people. I'm seven, duh! - She's crazy. - She's making me crazy. I've dated women like that. Oh, yeah? Oh yeah? - Don't start that. - Don't start that. - OK. - OK. - I, JMJ... - I, JMJ... - Wilgis... - Whoa! J-M-J... Wilgis ...confess to... ...con... fess to the murders of mur ders. ...der. ...ders. ...zzz! ...of of... Marilyn Callisto. C'mon, Marilyn Callisto. You do what I do, right? Marilyn Callisto, Katherine Goodrich. C'mon, Katherine Goodrich. Write their names down. Hey, you write their names! Hey, you write their names! - You murdered them! - You murdered them! - Write who they are! - Write who they are! I don't like you! Close cover before striking. Close cover before striking. My daddy told me never to play with matches. My mummy told me never to play with matches. Oh, that's it. He's gone too far. - I have to stop this, Al. - Don't! Ow! There's someone here to see an Annabella Wilgis. Annabella Wilgis? - He's here! - Who's here, the killer? - He's coming. - Sit down! Who are you now? My name, young man, is Annabella Wilgis. How dare you speak to me like that. Here he is. Your interrogation of my client is over, Detective. Your client? - Darren Russem, Ms Wilgis' lawyer. - You're her lawyer! - Miss Wilgis is not here voluntarily. - She came in as a witness! - Are you torturing my client? - She came in voluntarily! You don't seem to understand the scope of my client's disorder. She asked you to meet her here? You called ahead because you knew you'd need a lawyer? Five minutes, that's all I need. I'm this close! Gee! We don't have enough hard evidence. We have to let her go. You were close, weren't you? Gee, it's her! I'm sorry, Frank. She kills eight people, walks out free and I get sued? - Russem claims you burned her. - She burned herself. He says you manipulated Wilgis' alter into burning herself. - So let her alter sue me. - He says her alter intends to. Relax, Frank, the gloves we found in her apartment - match gloves found on the victims. - Circumstantial. We got proof from the store where she bought 'em. - Not the point. - Whose side are you on? Yours. Part of being public advocate is playing Devil's advocate. What about the ball peen hammer we found in her kitchen? A woman can easily kill another woman with that. One front, one back We ran a blood leuka but it didn't turn for any blood residue, so we send it to the lab for more tests. Guys, you're not hearing me. Normally I'd say great, this stuff is pretty good. This is not your average case. We're talking about a woman who claims to be four people. So we get an alternate personality to testify against the killer? You're making her testify against herself. I'm saying she has multiple personality disorder. That helps her, not me. I got it. Why don't we charge one of the personalities with harbouring a fugitive? Or I could just audition as the court's new jester. Look, here's the point, this is not about evidence, this is about insanity. The voice, the voice. We sent the tape to the Feds to be analysed. It makes no difference which personality is talking - if that voice is hers on the tape. - How many ways do I have to... Danvers, you ride with me. Megan, Frank, meet me at Russem's office she's confessing. - Wilgis is confessing? Matt Rhodes rang me. She's going before the cameras live - to confess to eight murders. - All eight? She wouldn't give me a confession but she's willing to tell all to 150,000 viewers? - Excuse me. - She's using you, y'know? For giving me a live on-camera confession - she can use me, use me, use me. - Matt, you only got ten seconds. Can you people wait outside, we got a lot of bodies in here? Police. Good evening. I'm Alison Chandler with the Late 8 news. Tonight, a stunning revelation in the murder of three local women. Our Matt Rhodes is in the law offices of Baltimore attorney, Darren Russem with a Channel Eight exclusive. Thanks, Alison. Channel Eight has just learned that the brutal murders of three Baltimore women over the past two days were all committed by the same person. These killings are tied to the deaths of five women in two other cities. But perhaps the most startling element of this bizarre case is that the most tragic victim may be the killer herself. That's right, the killer is a woman - Annabella Wilgis. She's joined here tonight by her attorney, Darren Russem. Mr Russem? The murders result from the illness from which Miss Wilgis suffers - Multiple Personality Disorder, which in turn was caused by abuse and abandonment exacted on her in her early childhood. By having her confess and tell her side of the story first, he's defining the issues before we get to court. This isn't about murder anymore, it's about abuse, about psychology. Why don't we appoint Ricki Lake and Phil Donahue to the supreme court? He forced me. He made me do things... horrible things, and if I didn't do them, he hit me with his belt all over. Teflon murderer - nothing will stick to her. We might as well tattoo 'helpless victim' to her forehead. I would look at a crucifix the whole time that he was hurting me. Miss Wilgis is here asking for help and understanding. I'm truly sorry for what I did. Did you murder Katherine Goodrich? Yes. - And Jennifer Lundy? - Yes. - And Marilyn Callisto? - Yes. - And Mary Ann Newcomb? - Yes. She has presence, you gotta admit it. She knows exactly what she did. From day one, she knew what she was doing. So what's that - premeditated craziness? She is great looking. Oh, Munch, don't even joke about it, man. What? Do you wanna be partners in a bar or anything with that guy? What? All I'm saying is she wouldn't be a boring date. Oh, I'm gonna go home and sleep for three days. Our regular shift starts at 6:00am. Oh, yeah. But tomorrow is my scheduled day off. With this red ball over, I'm gonna get to spend the day with my kids. That's right, and I get to have lunch with your wife. Somehow I think I'm getting the short end of this partnership. Detective Pembleton are you waiting for someone? This case it still troubles you? Yes. I caught a killer... who murdered eight women. She claims to have a disorder - that she's crazy. I think, isn't anyone crazy who kills someone else? Does that somehow mean that she's not responsible? Does that mean that she doesn't have to suffer? I'm angry. I can't let it go. I don't find it difficult believing in this multiple personality disorder. I look and I see nothing but souls shattered like mirrors, mine included... and yours. - I keep mine in control. - Thank God for that. Now you just have to learn to forgive yourself for all those different personalities and the Wilgis woman, too. I know that Katherine Goodrich would have, with her dying breath, - forgiven her murderer. - Fine. Now who speaks for the others? What right do any of us have to forgive in their name? God forgives. Pray for him to teach you how. I don't pray any more. I used to. I used to pray for answers - a clue, a sign of what I should do, how to find something precious in this life. There was a time when I thought it was my job, but is it? Nothing in this world changes because of what I do. The hurt goes on and on. God has... God has given up on us. He doesn't hear us any more, sister. Do you have a family? Yes, a wife, yes. Do you love your wife? Yes, very much. Is she precious to you? Yes. Then I'd say God is listening. Nice place. Classy and clean is the goal. That's our goal. Keep it clean, sanitary, immaculate, so you'd be able to eat off the floor. You wouldn't find food on the floor. Not that you'd eat it if you did. That's how clean it is. This desirous establishment is one that'll attract - nothing but the best clientele. - Not to mean that we'll be elitist. No, sir. No back room VIP lounge just for the likes of Devo, Sabo and Bull. This bar is for the working class guy. Like us, like you. - Baltimore's finest. - They call cops Baltimore's finest, but I think that applies to all city workers. Did you see that refrigerator back there? It keeps food very cold, perfectly cold, just the way it should be. So, we passed the inspection, right? You'll need to replace that dishwasher within the year and keep an eye on the water temperature. Dishwasher, you bet. Absolutely. Other than that, everything looks pretty good. I know I said I didn't wanna be involved, but I had a talk with myself about it, and I don't shirk my responsibilities. - I'm here to hone my business skills. - Who's he? Tim Bayliss, silent partner. What can I do? You can give me $34. That's all right, I got it right here, processing fee. Why are the fees always $34? It's just some odd amount to screw up everyone's chequebook? Thanks for stopping by, we appreciate it. - Say hello to your sister for me. - I better not. - Whatever you think is best. - You say that now, but wait till he's fining us for improper disposal of chicken lard. He's just kidding. - We'll open in a couple of weeks. - If we're lucky. We still have to deal with the fire inspector, the building inspector, the zoning inspector and what's next, cocktail napkin inspector, the maraschino cherry inspector, and I'm sure there's some sort of regulation on the correct way to fold a bar rag. Makes you just wanna be a Republican, doesn't it? - Come by any time. - You can count on it. OK. Take care. What? Come on, Allie, just step down. - She's scared. - No, I'm not. You're not helping here, Zack. - Zack wets his bed. - I do not! - His whole room smells yucky! - Liar! Hey, hey! Since when do you go after her? You're twice her age. - She's a liar, I hate her. - He hit me. You hit her? - Don't ever hit her. - I didn't, I just swung my arm at her. What was the deal that we had, huh? I'm not through with you yet. What was the deal we had? When I'm not around, you protect your little sister and your mother. I can't stop any big guys. Don't worry about the big guys, I'll take care of them. How? You're never around. I don't care any more anyway, cos Mum said if you don't come back, she's gonna get me a new dad. - Excuse me. - Can you ask someone else, - I'm on my way home. - I'm Beth Felton, I'm Beau's wife. Oh, well, I'm Megan, Lieutenant Megan Russert. - Hi. - Hi. I'm looking for Kay Howard, we're supposed to have lunch. Uh-huh. Well, um, Kay will probably be back in a second. - Do you wanna have a seat? - OK. I've gotta go. I understand. I'm getting pretty good at being on my own. - Bye. - Bye. Look at his, it's almost like it's getting back to normal in here. When's Crosetti coming back from Atlantic City? Tomorrow. I hate to admit I kinda miss the little booger. Hey, you guys. Frank, this just arrived for you. Now, aren't you supposed to tip those overnight delivery guys? Certainly, you don't have to, but I always feel like, "Gosh, they got it here overnight." Wilgis's red wig from the murder site in Iowa. Too little, too late. This time next week, there'll be three movies of the week, six paperbacks and a deck of souvenir playing cards. The cash cow has only begun to get milked. He's in one of those rare moods, Gee. You didn't hold her for me. You didn't do anything to keep her here including grabbing that lawyer by his legal briefs. I needed five minutes. You let me down. Maybe, but you better figure out what you're really angry about, Frank. Is it because Wilgis may end up in a mental institution instead of the electric chair, or are you ticked off because you weren't the one to get her confession? - Hey. - Hi. I drove by the park earlier. You said you were gonna be there with the kids, you know. And I... stopped and watched you for a minute. I didn't spot you. No? Well, lucky you're not a detective. Lucky you're not a comedian. What d'you think? About what? The kids. Well, the big one sure knows how to hit a baseball. I know, but he's got this hitch in his swing. He'll never get around on the really fast stuff. He's like his old man. Do you know that I'm the first male Felton in five generations to have his original front teeth? - Thank you for sharing. - You're welcome. Hey, Beau, did you ever take refresher course in interrogation technique that Professor Landriff teaches? I'm not much on refresher courses. Well, the first day, he writes on the blackboard, "Let the suspect talk." "The interrogation is not about you." That's good advice. I didn't ask you here to interrogate you, Beau. Of course not. We don't have to try to make the other one say it, we can say it ourselves. Sure. It's over between us. Isn't it? Yeah. I guess I'll just... I'll see you at work. Yeah. Is this the right decision? Yeah. Beth happy about it? Yeah... I dunno, we'll see. You don't exactly look happy. Happy? Happy comes later. Right now we're on a 30-day trial basis, kinda like a vacuum cleaner. - How about the lieutenant? - What about her? - Is she OK? - What do you want me to say, Kay? You want me to say that Beth and I have come to a big understanding? We haven't. Maybe we will, I dunno. All I know is I gotta try. Allie's front tooth is falling out, I'm the tooth fairy, no one else, OK? Zack slides into second base and breaks his collarbone, I take him to the ER, no one else! I remember what it was like when I broke my collarbone, and my dad wasn't there to take me to the hospital. The kids are kids, the rest of the people involved are adults, OK? All right. Just asking you how you are, that's all. My car should be ready tomorrow. Thanks... for the ride. - Annabella? - Yes. - Tell me about the gloves. - Why? Humour me. No one wears white cotton gloves anymore. They went outta fashion. These women today, who leave home and go to work, ruined everything. Katherine Goodrich, Jennifer Lundy, Marilyn Callisto they think that they're doing good by leaving the home and helping others, but they would do a lot more good if they would just stay home. My mother wore white gloves every Sunday to church. She'd get in her blue Chevrolet Impala, put her lipstick on in the rear view mirror then she'd pull her white gloves on, one finger at a time. Then she'd just snap her purse closed and glance at her wrist watch, which was small, very delicate. Then she'd smile at me and she'd say "We can't keep God waiting, can we?" And we'd drive to church. I love white gloves. I guess because they remind me of a time when people would smile at each other on the sidewalks and help each other carry the groceries into the house. We would go to Mendelsons drug store and sit at the counter, have a cool milkshake and we would sit on a porch and listen to the night, filled with tree crickets and spring peepers. And then, the way that a young girl would wake up one day, sharing the honour that the blessed Virgin Mother had received. Our naked bodies were mysteries, they were holy. My mother taught me that. She stayed home to raise me. She would wash my face... and my body, clean. And when she died, just short of two years ago I insisted that they put cotton gloves on her hands in the coffin. Why are you laughing? Stop it. Stop it. Oh, lady you've been very clever, getting all the attention to focus on you. I don't believe you have MPD but I don't care if you really do or don't. I don't care how many personalities you may or may not have. Because of you, there are eight personalities who will never speak again. You had no right to kill them especially in God's name! And I gotta believe, even if you walk out of here scot free, God is gonna make you pay one way or another. OK. - How did I get here? Oh, easily. I tore a hole into the fabric of your dimension with my Interplanar Portal Pal, patent pending. - Pretty sweet, eh? - What are you doing? We're gonna eat your brain! Now, now, now, there will be plenty of time for brain-eating after we conquer Earth. [Wails] And to conquer said Earth, I will need an invincible army. A million superhuman soldiers marching to the tune of my big drum. Which is why I shall clone the mighty, blue Tick! - Clone the Tick? - Oh, yes. Your superhero friend has all the attributes I require. Incredible strength, nigh invulnerability, and a teeny-tiny little brain. Eat brain! Lmagine a legion of Ticks at my command. Oh, no! Oh, yes! And when my army is complete, I will rule the world! And eat lots of brains! Fresh, tasty brains! [Both laugh] [Door handle clicks] Oh. Ahem. Uh, are we bothering you? No. I just wanted some munchies. - My roommate. - [Munching] He's kind of weird, but he's quiet and always comes through with his half of the rent. But now, where were we? Ah, yes, cloning. Wait a second. What do you want with me if it's the Tick you're after? Don't you know anything? You're the sidekick. I clone you, then send the evil clone to procure a tissue sample of the Tick, so I can clone a million of him. And speaking of tissue samples, I need to get one from you. [Whimpers] You don't want to do that. Oh, yes. Yes, I do. Now hold still. Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? Cloning is a precise science. That's why I use the Clonerizer. It costs more, but you get what you pay for. My own recipe includes a generous portion of Dr. Flack's secret cloning sauce. A pinch of oregano, 'cause, you know, a little goes a long way. And last, but not least, your toenail. Mix well, and... voilà. Arthur the Sidekick, prepare to meet Arthur the Evil Clone. I Arthur. I Arthur. I Arthur, I Arthur, I Arthur. I Arthur, I Arth-ur. I-I-I Arthur-Arthur. I Arthur, I Arthur. [Chuckles] He's an eager little bunny, isn't he? They're a bit excitable at first. [Gasps] No! No! - I Arthur? - Evil Clone, we do not touch the "Don't" button. That would send Uncle Thrakkorzog back to his own dimension. And let me say that hike back is no picnic. I'd rather be strained through a chain-link fence. [Shudders] Clone, go next door and fetch me a tissue sample from the Tick. Got it? A tissue sample. I Arthur. You'll never get away with this, you over-confident blob. The Tick will be on to that flimsy fabrication in a second. He hasn't got a chance against the always-wary eye of the ever-alert Tick. [Snores] [Door opens] [Snores] [Tick mutters] Oh, hello... [Tick] Oh, no... [Tick jabbers] Arthur, I just had the strangest dream. I was taking some math test I hadn't studied for, and then you tried to saw off my head. Weird, huh? I Arthur. [Chuckles] Of course you are. And I Tick. [Chuckles] Whoa, oh... [crashing] Oh, sorry, Arthur. Blast this uncommon cold, anyway. Well, only one thing to do now. Wear this supercold down with many hours of daytime television. Ooh, hey, look, it's Honesty Cola's Worl Of Wrestling. Cool. [Man on TV] Hear me, wrestling fans. I, the Human Baboon, crave vengeance! Beautiful Steven will know the agony of my feet! Uh, I mean "efeat". Well, it's been a while. All must be going well. Apparently, the Tick wasn't so quick to discover my clone. Devour brain! Oooh. Big brain! Don't be so sure. Tick will catch on. Just you wait. Actually, I can't wait. I have to go, if you catch my drift. Nature is one call you can't put on hold. - Be right back. - Be right back! Will eat brain. Yum! No offence, but you scare me. What's goin' on, little bunny guy? [Strains] I am a moth! Are you aware that your roommate is a hideous monster from another dimension with evil plans for world domination? Listen, a good roommate-relationship is based on a respect for privacy. Look, can you at least loosen these straps? Because they're chafing me. [TV] The Human Baboon has pulle something out of his baboon pants. It looks like an unsanctione foreign object. Yes, it's a scale moel of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. An he's coming out swinging! Ooh! Au revoir, Beautiful Steven. Parlez-vous "Ouch"? Now, a commercial. - [Clink] - Oh, Arthur, there you are. So nice to have company to watch TV with. [Sniffs] Brace yourself while corporate America tries to sell us its wretched things. [Man on TV] I like jackhammering. I' better, I o it all ay long. It's a man's job an I work up a man-size sweat on my brow. [Woman] You sure o. [Man] But I'm not afrai to pamper myself with a plush tissue when my brow nees a goo wiping. [Woman] Plush? Here, big fella, sample my tissue. I'll show you a tissue sample. [Thrakkorzog] Fetch me a tissue sample from the Tick. - [Suit squeaks] - [Toilet flushes] Hm. [chuckles] Knew I'd regret that burrito. Hey, what's happening here? Uh, the little bunny guy was chafing himself on the ropes, - so I loosened him up a bit. - You what? He's a moth guy and how many times do I have to say it? Don't touch my stuff! This is my side of the living room and that is your side of the living room. And must you drink straight out of the milk carton? It's disgusting! Rally, Beautiful Steven, rally! [Man on TV] Oh, that can't be goo for his lower back! Human Baboon, you stinker! Stop your evil ways. [Thwacking] Oh, no, you don't. [Arthur] Tick, help! Egad! My cold has escalated into double vision. I'm the real Arthur. He's a clone. I Arthur. What matter of rare quandary is this? How can I be sure which Arthur is the real Arthur. [Starts to sneeze] Look! Tick, look! He's turning into a monster! Monster? Where? Can't see anything wrong with him. Um, Arthur? [Sighs] If you two don't stop this roughhousing, somebody's gonna get hurt and end up crying. I know how I can prove I'm the real Arthur. I'll tell you something only you and I would know. Go ahead, Arthur-like person. Oh, uh... OK. Remember that time my sister gave me that V-neck sweater vest for my birthday and we tried to return it to the store and they'd only give me credit, and I was so upset, and then at lunch they put onions on my cheeseburger, after I expressly asked the waitress not to? Do you remember that day, Tick? Oh. Indeed I do. - Now your turn. - I Arthur. I can't argue with that. [Screams] Is that you, Arthur? - Yes! - No need for raised voices. Look, Tick, there's this obscene monster who lives next door and wants to clone you and take over the world. Are you sure you're the real Arthur? Oh, come on! Tick, please let me go. - It's locked, Tick. - Stand back, Arthur. I'll take care of the door. Merciful heavens! Too late! Too late! Too late! Too late! Euch! [Whimpers] What horror is this? [Thrakkorzog] So, mighty Tick, at last we meet. It's nice to finally get to know the neighbors. I am Thrakkorzog, evil ruler of Dimension 14 B. Allow me to introduce your successor. I was a bit worried at first. I mean, he is a little mucus-intensive, but you work with what you've got. Enough prattle, villain. I don't mind a little science, but no one mucks around with the Tick's membranes. Prepare for swift justice! Oh-ho! So, foul gelatin, you would do battle with the nose of your birth? Hey, you guys aren't gonna fight in here, are you? And why not? I pay half the rent. We lose our cleaning deposit if any half gets messed up. Oh, the cleaning deposit. What was I thinking? Of course, you're right. - Now what? - How about the roof? Good call, Arthur. There's a place good always fights evil. Well, works for me. Frankly, that's why I was so glad to find this great apartment. You'd be surprised how hard it is to get a place in the city. Never mind that most folks are hesitant to rent to a slime-based organism, much less one with intentions of taking over the world. And human brains too! Don't forget the brains! It is good, this roof. I am pleased. - [Squelching] - Come on. Let's get this over with, nose jelly. Tick, wait. - Hey, no whispering. - Tick, keep them busy. I think I know how to get Thrakkorzog back to his own dimension. When I give you the "high" sign, try to throw the Mucus Tick into Thrakkorzog. A "high" sign? Are you a great sidekick or what? Let's get to it. Break! Coward. - [Squelching] - Euch! This is disgusting. You're no threat to humanity. Well, except for maybe the gross-out factor. Go ahead, slimy. Take your best shot. Hot dog! A worthy adversary. Don't press the "Don't" button. I'll press your "Don't" button, buddy. [Strains] Heavier than it looks. Eat bricks! Ooh, he's good. Can I clone or can I clone? Surrender, Tick, you're hopelessly outclassed. I don't know the meaning of the word surrender. I mean, I know it, I'm not dumb. Just not in this context. And if it's class you want... Now talk to me about class. Lucky break. [Pants and strains] Here goes nothing. Oh. Need an extension cord. Huh? What? Oh, that old joke. So, what tired routine do you do for an encore? Oh, dear. - [Crashing] - Oh, my. Now that's going to leave a mark. [Pants] All aboard for the transdimensional express. Huh? [sighs] Why me? This can't be good for my cold. But this is no time for selfish thoughts. It's time for a little turnabout. Ew! Can you get any more disgusting? Don't make me come in there. Wait a second. [sniffs] Smells like... ambush! Mucal invader, is there no end to your oozing? [Pants] Adaptor! [Pants] Adaptor! Adaptor! Thanks. I've had enough chasing. It's your turn now, Thorozpog. Thrakkorzog! Thrakkorzog! With a K. Boy, are you ever rude. Eat your brain! No brains today. We're only serving humble pie, Whatchimozog. - Listen, for the last time it's... - Thoraxinabog? - Thrakkorzog! - Ah, Laxativelog. - No, no. - Laplandozog? - Fouryaksandadog? - Thrak... - Sapsackafrog? - No, no, no! Susan? [Tuts] Now you're doing it on purpose. How juvenile. Oh! Yuck! Let's see how you like it, name-call boy. Or should I say Turk? Tack? Tock? [Pants heavily] Come on, Tick. Now's no time for friendly greetings, lad. Tick, "high" sign. Tick! "High" sign. Oh, "high" sign. Right, right. OK, nostril spawn, I didn't wanna have to do this... I mean I really didn't wanna have to do this, but you asked for it. [Loud sucking noises] It's not possible. Can't hold it. [Starts to sneeze] Now, Tick. Aaaaa... tchoo. [Sighs contentedly] Nothing like a bit of drama to clear the sinuses. Once again, we blasted the nasal passages of the city clean of the cloning mucus of evil. Now we can all breathe free and easy and smell the lilacs in bloom. Hello, aroma! Ahh... - Atchoo! - Uh, I'll get the soup. Too hot! Too hot! To mingle friendship far is mingling bloods I have tremor cordis on me; my heart dances But not for joy; not joy Go, play. boy. Play Thy mother plays and I play, too but so disgraced a part. How now, boy? What has smudged thy nose? They say it is a copy out of mine. - Come, Captain, we must be neat. - I am like you, they say. Why, that's some comfort. Go, play, Mamillius. 'A sudden madness had struck down Leontes, the King of Sicilia. 'In the twinkling of an eye, it had turned him against those he loved best. 'He became convinced that his wife, Hermione, 'and his childhood friend, Polixones, King of Bohemia, were lovers 'and that Polixenes was the father of her unborn child. ' - What, Camille, there? - Ay, my good lord. Ha' you not seen, Camille - but that's past doubt - that my wife is slippery? You never spoke what did become you less than this. Is whispering nothing? Leaning cheek to cheek Kissing with inside lip? Is this nothing? Good my lord, be cured of this diseased opinion and belimes, - For 'tis most dangerous - Say it be, 'tis true. No! No, my lord! It is! You lie! Mightst hospice a cup to give mine enemy a lasting wink. What stand I in? I must be the poisoner of good Polixenes. The King hath on him such a countenance as he hath lost some province What is breeding that changes thus his manners? Sir, I will tell you I am appointed him to murder you. By whom, Camille? - By the King. - For what? He thinks, nay, with all confidence, he swears That you have touch'd his Queen forbiddenly. O, then my best blood tum to an infected jelly. - How should this grow? - I know not But I am sure 'tis safer to avoid what's grown than question how 'tis bom. For myself, I'll put my fortunes to your service Which are here by this discovery lost. I do believe thee. I saw his heart in's fa. Merry or sad shall't be? As merry as you will. A sad tale's best for winter. I have one of sprites and goblins. Sit down and do your best to fright me with your sprites. There was a man dwelt by a churchyard... Bear the boy hen; he shall not me about her. What is this? Sport? Away with him! Let her sport herself With that she's big with, for 'tis Polixenes Has made thee swell thus. She's an adulteress! Should a villain say so, the most replenish'd villain in the world He were as much more villain. You, my lord, do but mistake. You have mistook, my lady, Polixenes for Leontes. Away with her! To prison! Adieu, my lord. I never wished to see you sorry Now I trust I shall. I dare my life lay down that the queen is spotless. Cease; no more. 'I have despatch'd to sacred Delphos, to Apollo's temple. Though I am satisfied yet shall the oracle 'Give rest to the minds of others such as he. ' - How does the boy? - He took good rest tonight. 'Tis hoped his sickness is discharged. Go, see how he fares. Away! Away! Away! Away with that audacious lady! Antigonus, I charged thee that she should not come about me. Canst not rule her? Good my liege, I me from your good queen. - Good queen! - The good queen, for she is good Hath brought you forth a daughter. - Here 'tis. - A mankind witch. Hen with her out o' door, give her the bastard, thou dotardl Take't up, I say, give't to thy crone. He dreads his wife, this brat is none of mine. It is yours and so like you, 'tis the worse. I'll ha' thee burnt! I care not! Thou, traitor, hast set on thy wife to this. My child? Away with ill Go, take it to the fire. Beseech your highness On our knees we beg that you do change this purpose Which being so horrible, so bloody, must lead on to some foul issue. Be it. Let it live. What will you adventure to save this brat's life? - Anything. my lord. - Mark you perform it. We enjoin thee that thou carry This female bastard hen and that thou bear it To some remote and desert place quite out Of our dominions and that there thou leave it to its own protection. - Take it up. - Come on, poor babe. Some powerful spirit instruct the kites and ravens to be thy nurses. Please, your highness, posts from those you sent to the oracle are me. 'Hermione, queen to the worthy Leontes, King of Sicilia 'Thou art here accused and arraigned of high treason "In committing adultery with Polixenes, King of Bohemia. ' You, my lord, best know My past life hath been as continent, as chaste, as true As I am now unhappy. Your Honours, I do refer me to the oracle, Apollo be my judge. This your request is altogether just The Emperor of Russia was my father O that he were alive and here beholding his daughter's trial! That he did but see the flatness of my misery Yet with eyes of pity. not revenge. - Break up the seals and read... - 'Hermione is chaste. ' 'Polixenes blameless. ' 'Camille a true subject, Leontes a jealous tyrant His innocent babe truly begotten 'And the King shall live without an heir if that which is lost be not found. ' Now blessed be the great Apollo! There is no truth at all in the oracle. The session shall proceed, this is mere falsehood. My lord the King, your son is gone. How? Gone? Is dead. Apollo's angry and the heavens themselves do strilce at my injustice. This news is mortal to the queen. Look down and see what death is doing. Beseech you, tenderly apply to her some remedies for life. The queen, the sweet'st, dear'st creature's dead. - Oh! - O thou tyrant Belake thee to nothing but despair. Go on, go on, I have deserved all tongues to talk their bitterest. Prithee bring me to the bodies of my queen and son - one grave shall be for both. Upon them shall the uses of their deaths appear unto our shame perpetual. Good Antigonus Sin fate hath made thy person for the thrower-out of my poor babe Places remote enough are in Bohemia There weep and leave it crying And, for the babe is counted lost forever Perdita, I prithee call it. Blossom, speed ye well There lie, and there thy character. Farewell, for the day frowns more and more Thou'rt like to have a lullaby too rough. Oh! Oh! - Why...? - I am gone for ever! What have we here? Mercy on's, a barne I'll talus it up for pity Yet I'll tarry till my son me. - Whoa! - Whoa! I have seen two such sights by sea and land! Why, boy, how is it? Now bless thyself thou mettest with things dying I with things newborn. Here's a sight for thee, look thee A bearing-cloth for a squire's child Look thee here, take up, boy, open it. What's within, boy? You're a made old man. Gold! All gold! This is fairy gold, and 'twill prove so. 'Tis a lucky day, boy, and we'll do good deeds on't. In the name of Time I slide over sixteen years. In fair Bohemia, a son of the King's which Florizel I now name to you And Perdita, now grown in grace, a shepherd's daughter. Say to me, when sawest thou the Prince Florizel, my son? Sir, it is three days since I saw the prince. I have this intelligence that he is seldom from the house of a most homely shepherd A man, they say, that from very nothing is grown into an unspeakable estate. I have heard, sir, of such a man who hath a daughter of most rare note. - Thou shalt accompany us to the place. - I bear your command. My best Camille, we must disguise ourselves. ♪ When daffodils begin to peer ♪ With heigh! The doxy over the dale ♪ Why, then mes in the sweet o' the year ♪ For the red blood reigns in the winter's pale ♪ My father named me Autolycus Who was likewise a snapper-up of unconsidered trifles. A Prize. a prize! Let me see, what am I to buy for our sheep-shearing feast? Three pound of sugar? Five pound of currents? Rice? What will this sister of mine do with rice? But my father hath made her mistress of the feast. - Ou! - Oh, help me! Help me! lam robbed, sir, and beaten. Lend me thy hand, I'll help thee. Oh, good sir, tenderly. - Oh! - How now! Can'st stand? Dost lack any money? I have a little money for thee. No, good sweet sir, offer me no money, I pray you - That kills my heart. - Then fare thee well. I must go and buy spices for our sheep-shearing. Prosper you, sweet sir, I'll be with you at your sheep-shearing too. ♪ Jog on, jog on, the foot-path way ♪ And merrily hent the stile-a ♪ A merry heart goes all the day ♪ Your sad tires in a mile-a ♪ Reverend sirs, for you there's rosemary and me. Grace and remembrance be to you berth and welcome to our sheep-shearing. Come, a dance, I pray Your hand, my Perdita. This is the prettiest lowborn lass that ever ran on green-sward. Good sooth, she is the queen of curds and cream. Pray, good shepherd, what fair swain is this which dances with your daughter? They call him Doricles He says he loves my daughter, I think so too I think there is not half a kiss to choose who loves another best. ♪ Will you buy any tape or la for your pa? ♪ My dainty duck, my dear-a? ♪ Any silk, any thread any toys for your head ♪ Of the news! and finest ware-a? ♪ South, when I mas young and handed love as you do I was wont to load my she with knacks I would have ransack'd the pedlar's silken treasury. Old sir, I know she prizes not such trifles as these are The gifts she looks from me are pack'd and lock'd up in my heart Which I have given already but not delivered. Take hands, a bargain! And friends unknown, you shall bear witness to't I give my daughter to him and will make her portion equal his. Come, your hand And daughter, yours. Soft, swain, awhile Beseech you, have you a father? I have, but what of him? - Knows he of this? - He neither does nor shall. By my while beard, you offer him a wrong, something unfllial - Let him know't. - He shall not. - Mark our contract.. - Mark your divorce, young sir. Whom son I dare not ll, thou art too base to be acknowledged. Thou a sceptre's heir that thus affect'st a sheep-hook. Thou, old traitor, I am sorry that by hanging thee I can but shorten thy life one week. And thou! If ever henceforth thou hoop his body more with thy embraces I will devise a death as cruel for thee as thou art tender to't. O sir! You have undone a man of fourscore three. O cursed wretch, thou knew'st this was the prince. Undone! Undone! Camille, not for Bohemia will I break my oath to this fair beloved This may you know and so deliver I am put to sea with her whom here I cannot hold on shore. - I have a vessel rides fast by. - This is desperate, sir. Have you thought on a place whereto you'll go? - Not any yet. - Then list to me. Make for Sicilia and there present yourself and your fair princess for Leontes. We'll males an instrument of this. - How now, good fellow? - I am a poor fellow, sir. Why, be so still, yet for the outside of thy poverty we must make an exchange Therefore disease thee instantly and change garments with this gentleman There's some boot. What I do next shall be to tell the King of this pa to force him after. There is no other way but to tell the King she's a changeling And none of your flesh and blood. I will tell the King all, every word Yea, and his son's pranks, too There is that in this fardel will make him scratch his beard. How now, rustics! Whither are you bound? To the pala, an it like your worship. What's i' the fardel? Wherefore that box? Sir, there lies such secrets In this fardel and box Which none must know but the King. Age, thou hast lost thy labour. The King is not at the pale, he is gone aboard a new ship I'll bring you where he is. He seems to be a great authority Close with him, give him gold. Then please you, sir, to undertake the business for us Here is that gold I have. Walk before toward the sea-side. If I had a mind to be honest I see Fortune would not suffer me She drops booties in my mouth. Sir, you have done enough and have performed a saint-like sorrow. You were one of those would have him wed again There is none worthy, respecting her that's gone. Besides, has not the divine Apollo said That King Leontes shall not have an heir till his lost child be found? My true Paulina We shall not marry till thou bid'st us. That shall be when your first queen's again in breath Never till then. One that gives out himself Prince Florizel, son of Polixenes With his princess, she the fairest I have yet beheld Desires access to your high presence. He mes not like to his father's greatness. Bring them to our embracement. Still, 'tis strange he thus should steal upon us. Were I but twenty-one your father's image is so hit in you His very air, that I should ll you brother. Welcome hither as is the spring to the earth. Please you great sir, Polixenes greets you from himself by me Desires you to attach his son who has fled from his father, from his hopes And with a shepherd's daughter. - Where's Polixenes? Speak! - Here, in your cily To your court whilst he mas hastening, meets he on the way The father of this seeming lady and her brother. O my poor father! - You are married? - We are not, sir, nor are we like to be. - My lord, Is this the daughter of a king? - She is, when on she is my wife. That on I see by your good father's speed will me on very slowly. Beseech you, sir, step forth mine advocate At your request my father will grant precious things as trifles. I will to your father. Come. 'And so as the two kings met, the old shepherd's box and bundle were opened 'and the secret of Perdita's birth revealed at last. 'The oracle had been fulfilled, the King's daughter had been found. 'Great was the rejoicing, 'though it was a rejoicing tinged with sadness. 'And away they all went to see a newly finished statue of Hermione, 'whose cruel loss had been mourned for sixteen years. ' Here me those I have done good to against my will. I humbly beseech you, sir, to pardon me all the faults I have committed. Prithee, son, do. For we must be gentle, now we are gentlemen. Thou will amend thy life? Ay, an it like your good worship. Come, follow us. we will be thy good masters. O Paulina, we came to see the statue of our queen Here it is; mes it not something near? Her natural posture! Chide me, dear stone That I may say indeed thou art Hermione But yet, Paulina, Hermione mas not so much wrinkled Nothing so aged as this seems. - Oh, not by much. - So much the more our carver's excellent. Which lets go by some sixteen years and makes her as she lived now. Lady, dear Queen, that ended when I but began Give me that hand of yours to kiss. O, patience! The statue is but newly fix'd, the colour's not dry. Let no man mock me, for I will kiss her. Good my lord, forbear, the ruddiness upon her lip is wart You'll mar it if you kiss it. - Shall I draw the curtain? - Not Not these twenty years. If you can behold it, I'll make the statue move indeed, descend And take you by the hand it is required you do awake your faith. Music, awake her; strike! 'Tis time; descend Be stone no more; approach When she was young, you woo'd her Now in age, is she become the suitor? O, she's warm! If this be magic Let it be an art lawful as eating. If she pertain to life, let her speak too. Mark a little while Please you to interpose, fair madam, kneel and pray your mother's blessing. Tum, good lady Our Perdita is found. You gods look down And from your sacred vials, pour your graces upon my daughter's head Tell me, mine own, where hast thou been preserved, where lived? There's time enough for that Go together, you precious winners all I, an old turtle, Will wing me to some withered bough And there my male that's never to be found again Lament till I am lost. O peace, Paulina. Thou shouldsl a husband take by my nsent as I bythine a wife. Come, Camille, and take her by the hand. Good Paulina, lead us from hen Where we may leisurely each one demand an answer to his part performed In this wide gap of time sin first we were dissever'd. Here's to the beautiful ladies Here's to those wonderful girls This is the mixture to start the picture So bring on the beautiful girls When Fred Astaire sang this song in the film Ziegfeld Follies the year was 1946 and MGM was at the height of its success in creating incredible fantasies and setting them to music. Here, Lucille Ball tames a pack of exotic cat-women. It was imaginative, outlandish imagery, and audiences loved it. It was a time before television and VCRs, when on the average 90 million Americans went to the movies each week and the MGM musical was king of the box office. The most popular entertainment in the world. This is the mixture to start the picture So bring on the beautiful girls Once upon a time, there was a factory that created wonderful musical dreams. It happened when a special group of talented artists came together to create some of the world's most enchanting movies. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer was not the only studio that made musical motion pictures. But it did make more than anyone else and somehow did it better. To tell us more about those remarkable days here's one of MGM's best: Mr. Gene Kelly. The 44 acres behind me was where it all began. When I first arrived here MGM's dream factory was in full swing. And every week the studio released a new film and musicals were always a big part of the lineup. But the success of the MGM musical did not happen overnight. It all started when the movies learned to talk. At first, the studios were unsure of what to do with this new invention. Then they hit on the idea of filming popular vaudeville acts. My pet told me cutely That I'm set absolutely - So I pet with nobody else but my, my pet - Whose pet? - I repeat that he's my pet - Whose pet? Ain't he sweet? And I pet with nobody else But my pet In The Hollywood Revue of 1929 one of the first all-talking, all-singing, all-dancing movies the studio gave its huge roster of stars a chance to get their feet wet in the newfangled talkies. The finale introduced a brand-new song that did a lot for me much later. But at the time it was so new that some of the performers had trouble remembering the lyrics. Let the stormy clouds Chase everyone from the place Come on with the rain I've a smile on my face I walk down the lane With a happy refrain Just singin' Just singin' in the rain Singin' in the rain Just singin' in the rain Suddenly, the musical became an overnight sensation delighting audiences with bigger casts lavish sets and costumes and even a new gimmick called Technicolor. MGM began its most ambitious film of this kind in late 1930 and filmed all the big production numbers before the public lost interest in these plotless musicals and the project was abandoned. One of the numbers featured The Dodge Twins performing... What else? - "The Lock Step" from the unfinished March of Time. Shake your stripes Beat your pipe Start crooning the jailhouse wall Lock your cell Step light, hello, warden Join in and lock step It'll get you fizzin' Like bottles of pop Get hep to the new jazz prison Lock step Clean as a whistle Fresh as a daisy Brand-new Clean through On my way Just wearing' that smile of mine Clean as a whistle Fresh as a daisy Spick-and-span Spend my day Just wearing' a great big smile To capture an audience, producers knew they could always turn to the old reliable sex. Imagine that. This number, set in the shower room of a girls' school shocked audiences in 1933. All wearing' a great big smile Can't you see we're all excited? They might be relaxing But, gee, I'd rather Exercise myself into Say, the water stopped. - Water. - Water. Such scenes fuelled the growing public outcry. Faced with threats of boycotts and censorship MGM conformed to the stern Production Code. - That the vulgar, the cheap and the tawdry is out. There is no room on this screen at any time for pictures which offend against common decency. And these, the industry will not allow. Ah, sweet mystery of life At last I found thee Ah Among MGM's efforts for the new morality was a series of wildly successful operettas with Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy. My heart has heard The answer to its calling For it is love that rules Forevermore In 1934, the studio lifted the public out of the Depression and into a make-believe Hollywood party. Hollywood party Get up, get up, get in it Hollywood party Nobody sleeps tonight Hollywood party Going a mile a minute Hollywood party Nobody sleeps tonight Let the laughter spring out Music ring out Satan sing out, "Yeah, man" At that crashing, furniture-smashing Hollywood party Nobody sleeps tonight And now, here's to beauty, laughter, romance, music. On with the biggest party ever given in Hollywood. Feelin' high What's the use Feelin' low? On that wagon On the town Gonna be up Never down There's a reason If you'd like to know why I'm in love I'm feelin' high Even the biggest production numbers needed stars. So Eleanor Powell became MGM's first big dancing star. In Broadway Melody of 1938 and almost all of her films Eleanor becomes a huge sensation by the last reel. Follow in my footsteps Follow them Your Broadway And my Broadway Got that rhythm Inside me Everybody dance You are my lucky star Hear the rhythm of the music And the music of the rhythm Got a pair of new shoes Got a pair of new shoes Gotta dance Tap your feet Light, long and sweet And dance Dance Now Broadway dance A Broadway dance and go singing The whole town is waking up Your Broadway And mine It took a lot of hard work to make musical production numbers for the big screen. And here's a good example. Eleanor Powell's tap dance of "Fascinating Rhythm" from Lady Be Good. On the right, we see what went on behind the scenes. Stagehands using little tractors called mules quickly take the set apart allowing the camera to move forward to follow her dancing. Fascinatin' rhythm You've got me on the go Fascinatin' rhythm I'm all aquiver What a mess you're making The neighbors will know I'm always shaking like a flivver Each morning I'm wakin' up Very happy Just to find that no work has been done Once it didn't matter But now you do wrong When you start to patter I'm so unhappy Won't you take a day off? A couple of weeks? Somewhere far away off And make it snappy Oh, how I long to be the man That I used to be Oh, fascinating' rhythm Won't you stop picking on me? - Good morning - It's a lovely morning - Good morning - What a wonderful day We've danced the whole night through Good morning, good morning to you How do you do? When MGM teamed Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland in Babes in Arms it launched the most successful musical team at the studio. Good morning, good morning to you With World War II raging in Europe, the Mickey-Judy musicals provided an uplifting diversion for audiences of the day. Qherever freedom's banners Are unfurled sing a song from our hearts To the hearts of the world We send our greetings to friendly nations We may be Yanks But we're your relations Drop your sabers We're all gonna be good neighbors Here in God's God's Country As Andy Hardy, Mickey Rooney was always falling in love. Esther Williams played his love interest in her first film. A fashion model and champion swimmer Esther was working in an aquacade when she caught the attention of an MGM talent scout. In the 22 films she made at Metro she was seldom out of the water. This is MGM's famous saucer tank. I did many of my underwater scenes here. It's a huge, all-steel swimming pool with porthole windows just below the water line so that you can see anything that's going on inside. This tank was originally built as a place for Tarzan, Johnny Weissmuller to fight his rubber crocodiles. But I really had it pretty much to myself once my swimming musicals became popular. Every time they start off Wit' a water ballet There's the customary swimming' pool To swim in But we don't wanna do it In the customary way So we start off Just with bathing' suits and women It had been five years since my Andy Hardy movie. By this time, I had starred in several films. And MGM was committed to finding new ways to get me out of my clothes and into the pool as in This Time for Keeps with the great Jimmy Durante. Take ten percent off for your agent Take ten percent off for the press Then take another ten For your publicity men What's another ten more or less? Then take off a few incidentals It's the little things that really count Anyone with half a brain Can show a capital gain If you take off the proper Listen to your Papa Take off the proper amount I was called America's mermaid because it appeared that I could stay underwater indefinitely. In Jupiter's Darling I swam into a sunken Roman amphitheater where my presence had the magical effect of bringing statues to life. In Dangerous When Wet I swam into a cartoon sequence where I met Tom and Jerry. You know, they were more animated than some of my leading men. In Texas Carnival, I became Howard Keel's underwater dream right there in his own living room. For 12 years, I was the center of an amazing series of vivid sights and water pageantry. And I loved every minute of it. I'd be like Cleopatterer If I could have my way Each man she met she went and kissed And she'd dozens on her waiting list I wish that I had lived there Beside the pyramid For a girl today don't get the scope That Cleopatterer did If one performer could exemplify the lighthearted spirit of the MGM musical then June Allyson would surely be it. Here, from Till the Clouds Roll By she romanticizes the virtues of that ancient Egyptian princess Cleopatterer. Gaping in a line And watch her agitate her spine It simply use to knock them flat When she went like this And then like that At dancing Cleopatterer Was always on the spot She gave these poor Egyptian ginks Something else to watch Besides the sphinx Marc Antony admitted That what first made him skid Was the wibbly, wobbly, wiggly dance That Cleopatterer did This was the original main gate at MGM. In the early days, when a star came to work they'd drive in here and then the studio car would whisk them off to their destination on the lot. It was all so glamorous. MGM liked to boast that it had more stars than there are in the heavens. I just felt lucky to be counted among them when I was still just a kid. I never wanna hear Johann Sebastian Bach That's me on the right. Still wet behind the ears from the Broadway show Best Foot Forward which the studio bought and took me along as part of the package. It's not hard to tell that Nancy Walker, Gloria DeHaven and I desperately wanted to make good at Metro. Yes, the barrelhouse The boogie-woogie and the blues Oh, the barrelhouse Makes you want to carol Every boogie beat will raise your heat When they start to play the blues You'll never choose to lose the blues Oh, the blues will really get you And the barrelhouse Is bound to upset you And the boogie-woogie beat Will drive you straight to distraction Hey, let's go professors Get a solid reaction From a barrelhouse The boog-boog-boog-boog boogie And the blues I love the boogie 'Cause it tickles my spine I love the boogie 'Cause it's fresh and it's fine Just like a cigarette with modern design That's why I love the boogie-woogie Yes, yes It seems to knock the wind Right out of my chest It's so darn good It makes a fool of the rest Just goes to show you That the boogie's the best That's why I love the boogie-woogie Yes, yes It's right as rain As low as thunder High as a cloud And sweet as a cake It's got a kick like mountain liquor And it's as slick and hard To take as Veronica Lake It picks you up And then it knocks you right down It makes you laugh and play And act like a clown No other music has the right To the crown 'Cause there's nothing That will raise your heat - Like the boogie-woogie beat - Don't mean the barrelhouse - Like the boogie-woogie beat - Don't mean the blues I love the boogie-woogie beat - She loves the boogie-woogie beat - Great Each year, hundreds of performers like me were brought to MGM, hoping to get a break in the movies. There were acting teachers, instructions in posture and grooming and everybody had to learn to sing and dance. It was an extensive crash course designed to find those with that special something known as star quality. And if you had it, you got to take the next big step: The screen test. For instance, Kathryn Grayson had to wait two years at MGM before she was given her first screen test represented here in Anchors Aweigh. But the wait paid off because she became one of MGM's leading sopranos in the 1940s and '50s. To the thrill of the night Shakin' the blues away Unhappy news away If you were blue, it's easy to Shake off your cares and troubles Ann Miller was only 14 when she got her first movie contract at RKO and was a seasoned pro when she came to MGM for Easter Parade. Shakin' the blues away Unhappy news away If you are blue It's easy to Shake off your Shake off your cares And shake off your troubles Provin' that there's a way To chase your cares away If you would lose Your weary blues Shake them away Away Joan McCracken was a wonderfully talented artist from the Broadway stage brought to enrich MGM's galaxy of dancing stars. Here, Joan and Ray McDonald bring their infectious enthusiasm to pass that peace pipe from Good News. Solid potato salad Is the groovy movie salad, Jack Solid potato salad bowl Da-do da-do da-do-day Bring it back Sometimes the studio tried out a novelty act that just didn't catch on, no matter how hard they worked. Meet The Ross Sisters from Broadway Rhythm. Whoo! Whoo! We're going on the town MGM musicals had a special enthusiasm all their own. In the 1949 hit On the Town Frank Sinatra, Jules Munshin and Gene Kelly teamed with Betty Garrett, Ann Miller and Vera-Ellen as three sailors and their dates go out on a night in New York City. And hit the heights tonight Get high as kites tonight East side, west side, rouse the city One day, one night, that's the pity But we won't look ahead Won't let the light of dawn get us down We're really living, Jack We're going on the town We're going on the town We're kicking back the traces We're gonna do the places We've never done before We're going on the loose We're throwing all our dough in And we'll keep right on going As if no one before had any fun before Hot spots, swank spots Roofs and cellars Three smart girls And three slick fellers We're going to paint it red We'll fill 'em up And then drink 'em down Let's have a ball tonight We're going on the town What a dame, what a dame She belongs in the hall of fame I have always admired the strength and stamina of dancers. And one of the greatest is Cyd Charisse whom Fred Astaire called "beautiful dynamite. " And I completely agree. I'm flat Baby, you knock me out You're the whistle in the kisser Super sweet You're the top People stop when you're on the street You're a wow with the power I admit defeat One, two, three, four Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, boing I'm beat Star light, star bright I see stars when you move in One, two, left, right You win You got me hangin' on the ropes Baby, you knock me out You're the broad I'd applaud in a Broadway show You're the chick with the kick Like a rodeo Mighty punch, you got the punch That lays me low One, two, three, four, Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, boing KO Bam, slam Hear me shout Baby You knock me out This was MGM's scenic backdrop building where talented artists created their movie magic, and this is just one section of a huge painting re-creating the Scottish countryside for the film Brigadoon. Altogether, it was originally 600 feet long and 60 feet high and wrapped around the entire interior of MGM's Stage 15. Gene Kelly and I spent many hours rehearsing and filming our dance numbers in front of these heathered hills. I've always had such respect for Gene. Dancer, singer, actor, choreographer and director. He did it all and always brought exciting new dimensions to the musical motion picture. First, you put your Two knees close up tight Then you sway 'em to the left Then you sway 'em to the right Step around the floor kinda nice and light Then you twist around and twist around With all of your might Stretch your lovin' arms Straight out in space Then you do the Eagle Rock With the style and grace Swing your foot way 'round And bring it back Now that's what I call Ballin' the Jack Gene's first big break came on Broadway, starring in Pal Joey. MGM soon grabbed him and started him off as Judy Garland's leading man in For Me and My Gal. Ballin' the Jack Gene had a style all his own charming and athletic, with boundless energy. In Summer Stock, he created a classic number using only a squeaky floor and a newspaper as dance partners. As a choreographer Gene staged this exciting and bittersweet ballet to Richard Rodgers' "Slaughter on Tenth Avenue" from Words and Music. His partner: The wonderful Vera-Ellen. Gene's inventiveness seemed inexhaustible. In An American in Paris he even danced into a Toulouse-Lautrec painting to find Leslie Caron and the incomparable music of George Gershwin. The film won six Oscars plus a special award to Gene for his brilliant achievements in the art of choreography on film. Fit as a fiddle and ready For love I can jump over the moon up above Fit as a fiddle and ready for love Gene teamed with Donald O'Connor to perform this marvelously comic vaudeville routine for Singin' in the Rain. Soon all the church bells Will be ringing and I'll march with Ma and Pa How the church bells will be ringing With a hey naughty-knotty And a hotcha-cha Hi, diddle-diddle, my baby's OK Ask me a riddle, I'm waiting to say Fit as a fiddle and ready for love It was my pleasure to dance with Gene in several films but I think this one is my favorite. "The Heather on the Hill" from Brigadoon. You are my lucky star Gene inspired a whole new generation of stars. One of the brightest was a young California girl named Debbie Reynolds. Here's Debbie in a rare outtake from Singin' in the Rain. Rod La Rocque and Valentino You are My lucky star I was only 16 and still Mary Frances Reynolds when I entered the Miss Burbank contest. I did it as a lark to get a blouse and a scarf that they were giving away to all the contestants. Well, as fate would have it an MGM talent scout was in the audience and in a year, I was under contract to the biggest studio in Hollywood. It was at MGM that I learned the workings of the studio's glamour mill who made MGM's leading ladies appear on the screen as images of unsurpassed beauty. Gorgeous gowns created by the world-famous designer Adrian were part of the treatment. As well as Makeup and Hair Departments that could accomplish any style imaginable. A star like Joan Crawford would sometimes have her look redesigned numerous times until it matched the exact mood of the role she was to play. The studio prided itself on presenting some of the most glamorous women seen anywhere in the world. You stepped out of a dream You are too wonderful To be what you seem Could there be eyes like yours? Could there be lips like yours? Could there be smiles like yours? Honest and truly? You stepped out of a cloud In 1941, the glamour age had reached its zenith with Tony Martin and an all-star cast in Ziegfeld Girl. And have you all to myself Alone and apart Out of a dream Safe in my heart Out of a dream Of you I even got the glamour treatment in a dream sequence to the song "A Lady Loves" in the film I Love Melvin. A lady loves expensive clothes And pretty jewels and furs And French chapeaus She loves her lingerie in black It suits her zodiac Loves a penthouse Where she'll be content to stay Finds little gifts on her breakfast tray But now and then pack and sail away For a simple Riviera holiday Donald O'Connor plays my boyfriend in the film. He envisions a different role in life for my character. His version of me as a stay-at-home farm girl was dropped from the final film. Now, at last, you can see our differing points of view. A lady loves the simple things She loves her dreams tied up With apron strings There are no yachts In all her plans Just little pots and pans In the doorway She'll wait for his warm caress And he'll be handsome Well, more or less But he will notice that brand-new dress Saying, "You look nice Oh, never mind the price" A lady loves beaucoup I'amour But first of all she loves to be secure And she adores the subtle phrase That it's the man who pays Yet there is one vital thought She will place above All of the things I make mention of But most of all a lady loves to love And what is more a lady loves to live And what is more a lady lives to love Thanks for the present Of the silver-blue mink Thanks for the plane And the ice-skating rink Thanks for the yacht And for the solid-gold sink Thanks a lot, but no thanks Dolores Gray uses glamour as a weapon in this spoof of the power of the devastating female over the hapless male from It's Always Fair Weather. However classy By which this lassie can be had Thanks for the banks And for the Santa Fe line Thanks for the darling uranium mine But I'm a gal With only one valentine Thanks a lot, but no thanks For I am just a faithful lassie Waitin' for her faithful lad And there's no gift However classy By which this lassie can be had Thanks for losin' your mind And thanks for Fort Knox Sealed and signed But I've got a guy who's Clifton Webb And Marlon Brando combined Thanks a lot, but no No thanks I don't know why they scold me For doing what I'm trying not to do In Torch Song, Joan Crawford made her final musical film as a fading legend performing in tropical makeup for the song "Two-Faced Woman. " The recording wasn't a new one at MGM. Sung by voice double India Adams it had originally been used with Cyd Charisse for The Band Wagon, but was cut from the final film. It's been suggested that they may have dropped the wrong version. Makeup I don't belong I can't help being a two-faced woman A little bit of boldness A little bit of sweetness A little bit of coldness A little bit of heatness Don't fall in love With a two-faced woman Givin' you a warnin' I'll leave you in the mornin' Got another lover under cover I'm like a weathervane That goes with the breeze My disposition Makes me do as I please That's why they call her A two-faced woman A little bit of day And a little bit of night A little bit of sad And a little bit of bright A little bit of boldness A little bit of sweetness A little bit of coldness A little bit of heatness Good and bad Sweet and sad Black and white Wrong and right They call me two-faced woman In the early 1940s Hollywood began a fascination with things tropical and south of the border, and MGM was no exception. Exotic rhythms and costumes transported audiences away from cold climates and the troubled times of a world war. Many Latin artists were recruited to add an authentic sound to these films. One of the most popular was Xavier Cugat and his orchestra. Ricardo Montalban became a sensation at Metro as the Latin lover, driving female audiences wild. Here with Ann Miller and Cyd Charisse from The Kissing Bandit there doesn't seem to be enough Ricardo to go around. From Nancy Goes to Rio comes the Brazilian bombshell herself: The incomparable Carmen Miranda. He's got the kind of appeal That turns your head like a wheel And what a wonderful feeling That feeling you feel Your heart will beat like a bongo Just like was beating in mine The heat of the sun may be 101 But you make it 109 And there is more to it yet I'm gonna bet you a bet That you can pack up and go But you'll never forget Carmen, of course, had her imitators but none quite like Mickey Rooney in Babes on Broadway. Hey, Ma It seems we've stood and talked Like this before One ofthe performers at MGM whom I admired the most was the legendary Lena Horne. But I can't remember where Or when Some things that happen For the first time Seem to be happening again It was a long time ago I stood in this very spot and recorded that lovely song. When I first walked onto this recording stage in 1942 it looked pretty much as it does today. Although the technology was prehistoric... I recorded all of the music for my movies here and it is still considered Hollywood's greatest recording stage. I have many memories here good and bad. I never felt like I really belonged in Hollywood. At that time, they didn't quite know what to do with me, a black performer. So I usually just came on, sang a song and made a quick exit. It was just one of those things Just one of those crazy things This was true of my first film in the studio, Panama Hattie. Yeah, I got to sing a great Cole Porter tune in a featured appearance but what I really wanted was to be given an acting role in the movies. Just one of those fabulous flights A trip to the moon on gossamer wings Just one of those things If we thought a bit of the end of it Before we started painting the town We'd have been aware That our love affair Was too hot not to cool down So goodbye, dear, and Amen Here's hoping we meet now and then It was great fun But it was just One of those things Said that gal, Du Barry "Ain't it the truth?" In 1943, I got to play a part. Georgia Brown in Cabin in the Sky. And this good song, "Ain't It the Truth," was cut from the movie because studio bosses thought it too risqué to show a black girl in a bubble bath. Love is a rippling' brook Man is a fish to cook You got to bait your hook Rise and shine And cast your line You got to get your possum Ain't it the truth? While you still in blossom Ain't it the truth? Cleopatra and Delilah Had it way over Ruth Them gals did mighty swell They sure did ring that bell Ain't it the gospel truth? It's the truth The truth It's the solid Mellow truth In 1946, I played the role of Julie in an excerpt from Show Boat in Till the Clouds Roll By. I was being considered for the part for the 1951 version of Show Boat but the Production Code Office had banned interracial romance on the screen. So the studio gave the part to my good friend Ava Gardner. And she was wonderful in it. The studio had Ava rehearse singing the role to the recordings that I had made hoping to get the part which annoyed us both. Anyway, she did a great job on her own but just before releasing the film, the studio dubbed her with Annette Warren's voice. Fish got to swim, birds got to fly I got to love one man till I die Can't help lovin' that man of mine This is what audiences would have heard if they had allowed Ava's voice to be used. Tell me he's lazy, tell me he's slow Tell me I'm crazy Maybe I know Can't help Lovin' that man of mine Though Ava was one of my few good friends I was deeply disappointed that I didn't get the part. That's a rainy day But when he comes back That day is fine The sun will shine He can come home As late as can be Home without him Ain't no home to me Can't help Lovin' that man Of mine I was not the only one to lose a role here. In Annie Get Your Gun, Betty Hutton was a big hit as Annie Oakley. But Betty wasn't the studio's first choice. Judy Garland had begun filming the role and completed two numbers when she suffered a breakdown and had to be replaced. Retrieved at last from the MGM film vaults is Judy's version of "I'm an Indian Too. " Am I an Indian yet? Hoh! Like the Chippewa Iroquois, Omaha Like those Indians I'm an Indian too A Sioux A Sioux Some Indian summer's day Without a care I may run away With Big Chief Sun-of-a-Bear And I'll have totem poles Tomahawk Small papoose Which will go to prove I'm an Indian too A Sioux A Sioux Oh, I'm an Indian, I'm an Indian I'm an honest Injun Indian I'm an Indian, too Ow Folks are dumb where I come from They ain't had any learning This is the only other number Judy shot forAnnie Get Your Gun. As you can see, whatever conflicts Judy struggled with as a person she always came through as an entertainer. Still we've gone from A to Z Doin' what comes naturally You don't have to know How to read or write When you're out with a feller In the pale moonlight You don't have to look In a book to find What he thinks of the moon And what is on his mind That comes naturally My uncle out in Texas Can't even write his name He signs his checks with "x's" But they cash them just the same Grandpa Dick was always sick But never saw a doctor He just died at 93 Doin' what comes naturally The sleepless nights The daily fights The quick toboggan When you reach the heights I miss the kisses And I miss the bites I wish I were in love again Words and Music was the last time that Judy and Mickey Rooney worked together at MGM ending the most popular song and dance team the studio would ever have. No more pain No more strain Now I'm sane But I would rather be gaga The pulled-out fur of cat and cur The fine mismating of a him and her We've learned our lesson And we wish we were in love Again Judy Garland and I grew up together at MGM and completed high school between long days of shooting. Here on the lot we made 10 pictures together and even when we worked separately we turned to each other for friendship and encouragement. We were the very best of friends, more like brother and sister. I still miss her very much. Judy was 11 years old when I first heard her sing and I told her right off what I felt then and what I feel today. I said to her, "Darling, you're the best in the world. " By the time 15-year-old Judy appeared in Everybody Sing she had already been on-stage for more than a decade billed as the little girl with the great, big voice. Teach me how to sing Music with a modern rhythm Let me swing Mr. Mendelssohn swing Music is a thing That's no good without that rhythm Sweet and hot Fast and slow So get yourself A little dash of holy ho And swing it Mr. Mendelssohn swing it high Hey, swing it low And swing it Mr. Mendelssohn swing I'm past the stage Of doll and carriage I'm not the age To think of marriage I'm too old for toys And I'm too young for boys I'm just an in-between In Love Finds Andy Hardy Judy laments the fact that she's not a little girl any longer and not quite a grownup either. Grownups ignore me And in every sense I'm just on a fence I'm just an in-between For a few years, Judy was an in-between. Even though the critics had compared her talent to that of a teenage Sarah Bernhardt the studio had to search for just the right part to showcase her grownup gifts. They found it in her first starring role: Dorothy Gale in The Wizard of Oz. When Judy stepped into the Technicolor land of Oz it mirrored her arrival as a major star. Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. We must be over the rainbow. Follow the yellow Brick road follow the yellow brick road Follow, follow, follow, follow Follow the yellow brick road Follow the yellow brick Follow the yellow brick Follow the yellow brick road You're off to see the Wizard The wonderful Wizard of Oz You'll find he is a Whiz of a Wiz If ever a Wiz there was If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was The Wizard of Oz is one because Because, because, because Because, because Because of the wonderful things he does The Wizard of Oz was to become the most widely seen motion picture of all time and Judy's wonderful performance in the picture earned her a special Academy Award which I was lucky enough to present to her. And, Judy, I hope you win many more of them, honey. Thank you. And how about doing us all a little favor now and singing "Over the Rainbow"? Will you do that? Somewhere over the rainbow Blue birds fly Birds fly over the rainbow Why, then Oh, why can't I? I like New York in June, how about you? I like a Gershwin tune, how about you? I love a fireside when a storm is due I like potato chips Moonlight and motor trips How about you? My favorite memories of working with Judy are when it was just the two of us performing a simple song and dance routine together like this one from Babes on Broadway. I love to dream of fame, maybe I'll shine I'd love to see your name Right beside mine I can see we're in harmony Looks like we both agree On what to do And I like it, how about you? Down on an island, the southern seas There lived a lassie named Minnie Breeze And all the natives agree That she's the hottest thing in Trinidad Judy became one of the country's top 10 box-office stars. The little girl was growing up. So the studio gave her the full glamour treatment in this Busby Berkeley extravaganza from Ziegfeld Girl. They call her Minnie from Trinidad They all love Minnie from Trinidad And all the natives would be so sad If Minnie ever left Trinidad And all the natives would be so glad If Minnie Came back to Trinidad For Minnie Minnie Came back to Trinidad Who, stole my heart away Who, makes me dream all day Dreams I know can never come true Seems as though I'll ever be blue Who, means my happiness Who, would I answer yes to Well, you ought to guess who No one but you By 1946, Judy was one of the studio's most valuable assets and made a special guest appearance as Marilyn Miller in the Jerome Kern biography, Till the Clouds Roll By. March on, little doagies March on, down the trail One of Judy's biggest hits was The Harvey Girls. The film was so big, in fact that there wasn't time for this extraordinary production number in the final film. Here are Judy, Ray Bolger, Cyd Charisse, and a cast of hundreds in a never-before-seen "March of the Doagies. " We don't know where we're goin' But we're on our way March on, little doagies March on, down the trail March on, little doagies Till we're past the last fence rail Out there lies the prairie Out there breaks the day Oh, we don't know where we're goin' But we're on our way - Me for a campfire out on the trail - Me for an old cayuse - Me for the sound of the coyote's wail - And I'm all set to vamoose - You for a pipe, when the evenin' is still - You for your own backyard - I'll be the first fella over the hill - Me for a campfire out on the trail An old cayuse and a coyote's wail With nothin' to do And nobody asking me why Give me a cowhand song And I'll be gettin' along March on along March on The doagies on the trail Are marching' on Until the last grand swale Out there lies the prairie Out there breaks the day Oh, we don't know where we're goin' But we're on our way In Summer Stock, Judy was seen for the first time wearing what was to become her trademark for years to come. The top half of a tuxedo. Two years before, however, she had worn the same outfit in a scene removed from the released version of Easter Parade. Irving Berlin had based a song on just a few notes and called it "Mr. Monotony. " This is Judy at the top of her career. Playing on his slide trombone In a certain monotone He was known as Mr. Monotony Any pleasant interlude That would mean a change of mood Didn't go with Mr. Monotony Sometimes he would change the key But the same dull melody Would emerge from Mr. Monotony Folks for miles would run away Only one preferred to stay She would come around and say "Have you got any monotony today?" "Haven't got any monotony Today Can't play Today Haven't got any monotony Today" It only happens when I dance with you Another legend at Metro was my good friend Fred Astaire who always romanced a glamorous partner in his motion pictures. In Easter Parade, it was the one and only Ann Miller. Seem quite so near Why does it happen, dear Only with you? Two cheeks together can be so divine But only when those cheeks Are yours and mine I've danced with dozens of others The whole night through But the thrill that comes with Spring When anything could happen That only happens with you It was at a rehearsal hall like this that I spent my first days at MGM preparing for the production numbers in Easter Parade. Oh, and I was just scared stiff because I was going to dance with the master. But Fred Astaire was as charming off the screen as he was on and he put me at ease right away. Especially after I agreed to dance with him in ballet slippers so I wouldn't be taller than he was. Fred was a perfectionist. After exhausting hours of rehearsal when we all thought we had it just right, he would say: "Come on, Annie, let's do it one more time. " What I wouldn't give to do it just one more time again. Fred and his sister Adele were already stars in the New York and London theater before he came to MGM in 1933. Do you feel like going through that number with Mr. Astaire? - All right. - Freddie. Show Miss Marlowe the routine on that opening number. - Good evening. - Miss Marlowe. Do you know the routine? - I've seen it often enough. I'll try. That's fine. Harry, give us the pickup on that gang number, will you, please? It was a little more than a guest appearance for Fred for he was soon to be under contract to RKO Pictures where they were about to team him with Ginger Rogers causing a string of hit musicals to follow. Fred didn't return to MGM until seven years later at which time he starred with Eleanor Powell in Broadway Melody of 1940. In 1945, Fred and a new partner, Lucille Bremer stepped out to "Coffee Time" in Yolanda and the Thief. Its director, Vincente Minnelli. That's for me I'm drum crazy, yes I'm drum crazy, yes I'm plumb crazy for drums Fred could make music out of almost anything. And he often found new challenges that stretched his talents. In Easter Parade, he uses drums to make a melody. First, soft violins Then, sweet saxophones Then, blue clarinets croon When it's my turn I turn into a loon When the drum takes the melody When the drum carries the tune Hard-boiled private eyes were all the rage in the '50s. Perfect for the musical spoof, "The Girl Hunt" ballet from The Band Wagon. In it, Fred plays a tough detective tracking down a killer. The femme fatale, Cyd Charisse. She came at me in sections. More curves than a scenic railway. She was bad. She was dangerous. I wouldn't trust her any farther than I could throw her. She was selling hard, but I wasn't buying. A team that had no equal was Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. In The Barkleys of Broadway, they dance the "Swing Trot" under the main titles of the picture, but with the titles removed another musical gem is revealed from the most beloved dance team of all time. And you're the greatest Dancer in the land It's bill and coo-y, tea for two-y Just watch your partner's Eyes grow dewy Entrenous-y you're slightly screwy But irresistible On and on Oh, what a natural they've hit upon It gets you going till you're really gone And you will never rue the day The day you realize The Swing Trot is here to stay For The Belle of New York, the studio decided to reshoot this scene because Fred's costume didn't suit his famous dapper style. So by putting the original and the reshot versions together it gives us a rare opportunity to see just how perfectly rehearsed Fred really was. I wanna be a dancin' man while I can Gonna leave my footsteps On the sands of time If I never leave a dime A dancing' man With footsteps On the sands Of rhythm And rhyme Anything you can do, I can do better I can do anything better than you Another one ofmy favorite leading men was Howard Keel. Best known for his rich baritone voice, he had a very competitive romance with Betty Hutton in Annie Get Your Gun. - No, you're not - Yes, I am - No, you're not - Yes, I am, yes, I am I can shoot a partridge With a single cartridge I can get a sparrow With a bow and arrow I can live on bread and cheese - And only on that? - Yes - So can a rat - Any note you can reach, I can go higher - I can sing anything higher than you - No, you can't - Yes, I can - No, you can't Yes, I can Anything you can wear, I can wear better In what you wear I'd look better than you - In my coat? - In your vest - In my shoes? - In your hat - No, you can't - Yes, I can, yes, I can Anything you can say, I can say faster I can say anything faster than you - No, you can't - Yes, I can - I can jump a hurdle - I can wear a girdle - I can knit a sweater - I can fill it better I can do most anything - Can you bake a pie? - No Neither can I Any note you can sing I can sing sweeter I can sing anything sweeter than you No, you can't Yes, I can No, you can't - Yes, I can - No, you can't - Yes, I can - No, you can't, can't, can't Yes, I can, can, can - No, you can't - Yes, I can This is the vault where thousands upon thousands of MGM films are stored. Their worth in dollars, film history, entertainment is immeasurable. There are a few of these, of course, in which I appeared. This one, Rose Marie was the first wide-screen, CinemaScope musical. Now, in the 1950s, Hollywood went into a panic that rivaled the advent of talking pictures. A monster had taken over the movie-going public: Television. So the movies went into new technologies such as CinemaScope, stereophonic sound to try to recapture their audience. Today to get the public To attend a picture show It's not enough to advertise A famous star they know If you want to get the crowds To come around You gotta have glorious Technicolor Breathtaking Cinemascope and Stereophonic sound In Silk Stockings, Janis Paige and Fred Astaire spoof the necessary elements to make a modern motion picture. This lover boy's technique If you want to hear Applauding hands resound You gotta have glorious Technicolor Breathtaking Cinemascope and Stereophonic sound The customers don't like to see The groom embrace the bride Unless her lips are scarlet And her mouth is five feet wide In glorious Technicolor Breathtaking Cinemascope Or Cinerama, VistaVision or Superscope or Todd-AO and Stereophonic sound And Stereophonic sound There was a time when dancing Was so intimate and sleek A fella hugged his partner As they'd cuddle cheek to cheek Now he doesn't even know If she's around Because they're in glorious Technicolor Breathtaking Cinemascope and Stereophonic sound It's not enough today To see a dancer at his ease He's got to throw his back out And come sliding on his knees He's gotta have glorious Russian ballet Or modern ballet or English ballet or Chinese ballet or Hindu ballet or Bali ballet or any ballet And Stereophonic sound And Stereophonic adds an extra tonic Stereophonic sound - Shakin' the blues away - Away - Unhappy news away - Away If you were blue, it's easy to Shake off your cares and troubles In 1955, the studio cleverly combined the new technologies with the old-fashioned backstage musical and starred Doris Day in the Oscar-winning hit Love Me or Leave Me. Do like the voodoos do Listen to a voodoo melody They shake their bodies so To and fro With every shake A lucky break - Provin' that there's a way - A way - To chase your cares away - Away If you would lose your weary blues Shake 'em away - Shakin' the blues away - Away, away - Unhappy news away - Away, away If you were blue, it's easy to Shake off your cares and troubles Tellin' the blues to go They may refuse to go But as a rule they'll go If you'll shake 'em away Do like the voodoos do Listen to a voodoo melody They shake their bodies so To and fro With every shake A lucky break - Provin' that there's a way - A way - To chase your cares away - Away If you would lose your weary blues Shake 'em away Shake those blues away Gotta chase those cares away Just to prove that there's a way A way to shake, shake your blues Away The warden threw a party In the county jail The prison band was there And they began to wail The band was jumpin' And the joint began to swing You should've heard Those knocked-out jailbirds sing Let's rock Times were changing, and so was music. MGM began appealing to a new generation of filmgoers with Elvis Presley and the "Jailhouse Rock. " Was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock Spider Murphy played The tenor saxophone Little Joe was blowin' On the slide trombone The drummer boy from Illinois Went crash, boom, bang The whole rhythm section Was the Purple Gang Let's rock, everybody, let's rock Everybody in the whole cell block Was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock Number forty-seven said to number three: "You're the cutest jailbird I ever did see I sure would be delighted With your company Come on and do the Jailhouse Rock With me" Let's rock Go, go, go Everybody, let's rock Lay it on me, daddy-o Everybody in the whole cell block Was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock Dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock Rock, rock, rock Dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock Rock, rock, rock Dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock Rock, rock, rock Gigi, am I a fool without a mind or have I merely been too blind to realize? Oh, Gigi. In 1958 the golden age of the MGM musical came to a grand finale with Lerner and Loewe's Gigi. The film became the studio's top box-office musical and won nine Academy Awards, including one for this lovely song. The film stars Louis Jourdan and the lovely Leslie Caron. Oh, no Overnight there's been A breathless change In you Oh, Gigi While you were trembling on the brink Was I out yonder somewhere Blinking at a star? Oh, Gigi Have I been standing up too close? Or back too far? When did your sparkle turn to fire? And your warmth become desire? Oh, what miracle Has made you the way You are? What a time it was. Life was simpler then. And so was the movie business. MGM's dream factory created a rich, romantic... And although we may not see anything like it again we're blessed with memories and miles and miles of film. In the words of Irving Berlin: "The song is ended but the melody lingers on. " A show that is really a show Sends you out with a kind of a glow And you say as you go on your way That's Entertainment A song that is winging along Or a dance with the touch of romance Is the art that appeals to the heart That's Entertainment The world is a stage The stage is a world Of entertainment Elimelech? Naomi. I'm going out to the fields. I need your help. Quickly. Now! Yah! Father! Don't give up! We must save the grain! The malet! I've got it! Hold the stake straight. Hurry! Hurry! Hold on! help me hold it down! Father! the grain is gone! It's gone. It's all gone. easy. Elimelech. Perhaps we'll return... when this famine is over. but we are related. I want to help. but thank you. I... I've done well during the famine. and I don't intend to start now. Elimelech. Who was that? Boaz... a kinsman of mine... just wanted to say goodbye. and their two sons left their home in Bethlehem. they arrived in the land of Moab where they found relief from the famine. Elimelech died. Naomi's two sons grew older and eventually married Moabite women named Orpah and Ruth. they knew very little of the God of Israel: The God of Naomi and her sons. and Naomi loved them very much. tragedy struck again. Naomi's two sons also took ill and died. Now three widows faced the future alone... together. and I want you to go back to your families. What? Mother? do it for me. but we can't let you live alone. Bethlehem is no place for two Moabite women. My people will not accept you. You'll be strangers there. As you were a stranger here. Don't you understand? It's my fault that you've been hurt. The Lord has punished me. That's not true. Your God is good. You are good. you'll do as I have asked. Go. Return to your own people. I will go; I will die. and your God is my God. I love you! Everything this woman has is here; she has nothing else. I will do my best to get her a good price. Jabesh. That's no surprise. can we start the auction? Some of us have work to do. Very well. When a man dies... Not another lecture on the law. the brother of the dead man should marry her and care for her. Such are the commandments of God. (yawning) Excuse me! and now she is left with nothing. She comes before you now to sell all that she owns. be as generous as possible. First up for sale is this poor widow's land. Ten thousand shekels! indeed. I like to help where I can. What he'd like is to buy up Bethlehem and put everyone else out of business. ten thousand shekels going once! I think I'll have a little fun. and... Twelve thousand shekels! going once! Twelve thousand going twice! Twelve thousand and five shekels! Fourteen thousand shekels! Careful. Don't worry; I know my cousin's greed all to well. He won't let that land slip away. Fourteen thousand and three shekels! Eighteen thousand shekels! you can't afford it. but he doesn't. want to see how you get yourself out of it. Eighteen thousand shekels going once! eighteen thousand shekels going twice! And eighteen thousand going... Eighteen thousand and one! Boaz? your charity has no end. I'll follow. I'll never leave you alone. given love like no other. Now you are my home. I'll bear any burden. Your worries will be my own. I've been blessed by your care. for you are my home. and stone only make a dwelling. It's you that makes this house a home. I'll follow. I'll never leave you alone. given love like no other. Now you are my home. Heaven smiles on us both; for you are my home. ( end song) Good morning. You're up early. Oh! Thank you for letting me come with you. you are so good! Where are you going? To find some food. Stay and rest; I'll be back. please bless her. Lord. she's very old. There's no need to apologize. I know Master Boaz would want to help you. You see those women there? They're gleaners. Many of them are widows like yourself. Follow them and you can gather up all the loose grain you see. Daniel? her. that you're welcome here. sir. When you drink a need... go to the well; my men will draw it for you. I am a Moabite; they may not want to. I've ordered them to treat you kindly. welcome. My servants told me how you... how you gave up your home and your own people for the sake of your mother-in-law. I think that's very kind. May God bless you for it. Thank you. special needs. Let some extra grain fall for her. tell her she can just harvest some of her own. you cut some down and bundle it up for her. they'll have me to deal with. Tell the men that. All of this in one day? ! The man who owned the field was very kind. He let me take all that I wanted. And then he invited me to eat with him. I think the others were very surprised. Who was it? What was his name? Boaz. Boaz? You know him? he is my nearest kinsman. then... then he must marry you. Get up for the Rams.! In the second half, Arthur tries to pick up where he left off. Penetration move by Agee. Slapped out of there by Manual. They've got two-on-one. Ooh, and a nice fake and a score. But it's the Rams who don't miss a beat... pressing the tempo against the tired Commandos. You're not in the offense at all. You're just out there playing individual basketball. Completely. hey, hey, guys. No fouls. We want to keep the clock going. Remember? Let's go, Marshall! Let's go! Let's go, Marshall.! Let's go.! Marshall showed us last night they have the ability to come back. Let's see what they can do here. This is Nathan. Nice pass. Knock it down. Biggest lead of the game now, and the Rams fans can smell it. Been a great run for Luther Bedford's team. The string of upsets stops here. - And a foul on Agee. - he fouls out. But hejust never quit. hejust kept going for the basketball. I wouldn't be surprised ifhe made the all-tournament team tonight. - Number one! - We're number one.! We're still number one. All right. All right. Though they lose to Peoria Manual... they finish third in the state, the highest a Marshall team has finished since 1960. This was a great season you had. There is nothing sweeter than going downstate as a young person. I mean, the record's gonna stay there, you know. 1991, there was a team from Marshall played. - You know, and you're part of that. - Yeah. - That's part of history. - Ah! But for you seniors,you know- Best wishes to all you seniors, and whatever you try to do, uh... Mr. Williams and I will be around school... as we always are - to help you if you want to be helped, okay? Winning five games in six days, that really takes a lot out of you. Like Coach said,you just gotta sacrifice- you know, sacrifice everything you have. Like, if you love the game of basketball, you just go out there and give all your heart. he got a little ways to go, but he's - he's gonna get there. hopefully he's got his head screwed on pretty good, you know... and now, you know, he's gonna be on his own to do whatever. hopefully he'll do it right. When we got down here, people don't expect - "Marshall? how'd they get down here?" They lookin' like: "Who they got on their team?" I had to come out and prove myself. I think I could play Division I basketball. 'Cause all I need is just a scholarship. That's -That's all I'm looking for. Arthur Agee. All right! All this area through here is our new computer labs. We'll take you through all those rooms. Arthur's first recruiting visit... takes him to a junior college in Southern Missouri. The strength that I see here is the tremendous teaching that goes on here. have you decided what you want to go into? Uh, communications. Are you more interested in the overall communications - That, and, uh - I like that and accounting. - Like business. - Oh. Okay. We enjoy winning things, but the primary purpose is your education. What are some of your career goals, may I ask? I want to fall back to, like, make - have my own business. Like real estate. This is where it all happens. Beautiful place. And it gets to rockin; - You gonna try it on there? - Yeah. Those are about $ 120 apiece. You need to be very careful with this decision. You know, if you come in and act right, you're going out ofhere... with two years of your college finished... a scholarship to a Division I university. Exactly where you'd want to be- on track to graduate in four years. Mineral Area doesn't have dorms... but it does have a basketball house. All the ballplayers on scholarship live here. Get your ass up, nigga. Of the seven blacks in the entire school... six live in this house. You come in and look at this little house, then after a while you get used to it. Try to make a little home, you know. home away from home anyway. We hang around each other most of the time. We know who to trust, who not to trust. I just want to go somewhere where I'm gonna play. I can get the grades. I love basketball. how many of your players that leave there and they end up going to a four-year college? - Thirty-one sophomores in a row. - Really? Every last one of'em he coached. - hi. how you doing? - hey. how you doing? - Arthur Sr. - Bo and Sheila have been separated. She asked him to return today over Arthur's objections. I'll show you exactly what the scholarship entails. Is this a full scholarship for the two years? The reason I'm skeptical is because of the promises that was made in the past. From the time he comes down there until he leaves, you will not have a financial need. Now, when you make this decision... you got to live and die with it. 'Cause it's your decision to make. Now, I'm here to support you if you - if you done searched this whole thing. And it's what you really want. Not,you know, 'cause Mama said this or your dad- Or because you're saving Mama money, because if we have to... we will still pay- if you have to try to pay- if we can put some- I'm just sayin; You - Understand what you're saying. You want to save somebody money, but still - But you have to still do what is best from here. But still we want the best for you - even if you have to - or we have to go in the hole, you know. You understand what I'm saying? I'm just saying. But still, the decision is up to you. So, what do you think? Ah. - Ready to sign it? - Yeah. - Yep. - Let's do it up. - What time is it? - 1:56. 56. Come on, Bo. Whip it to him. When I was 23, how old was he? And I whupped him then. Aw! You want to see it rain? Let it rain.! - You want to see it rain? - One more time. Let it rain! You want to see it rain? Let it rain! Oh! Peoria Manual. Remember what they did to you now. Yeah. Do you know howard Nathan? And I strung him up, just like that. Uh-oh. Like father, like son. What's up with that? You better stick to church music, leave that basketball alone. hell, no. You can't do that. Foul! Foul! Foul. Foul, foul, foul. - That's 32. - That's 34. - 34! - That didn't count 'cause he called "Bo. " - That's 34! - That's 32! - he didn't hit nothing else.! - I did! - he didn't hit nothing else! - It's 34-28, Bo. - Bo's a sore loser. - All right! - No. I know how to count though. - Ain't no con game. I'm older now. - Yeah. - Ain't no con game going on no more. - No more. Ain't no more. - The score is 32 to 28. Now, you can play for 32 if you want to. Game over with. I can con too. Losers quit. I'm ready to play. Now,youse a coward if you don't- Check ball. - You're mad now. - Check ball. - Throw it over there. - You ain't two years old. You ain't gettin' no pacifier. - Give me that. - Yeah. Your mama ain't here to give you this ball. Let's go. - Give me the rock. - Let's make it rain. Make it rain. Bang. Bang. Right there. ha! Go sit down. Go sit down. Bo, it's raining.! Bo, it's raining. - It's raining, Bo! - It's raining, Bo! You're on punishment when you get home. You're on punishment when you get home. And you're on punishment when you get home. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's gonna rain on your head, Bo. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen... and welcome to St. Joseph's Annual Basketball Awards Dinner. We had a... difficult year. Most of you are aware of that. When I first went to St. Joe's, I really did sleep, eat and drink basketball. That was all I did. But it became more of a job than a sport to play. Things here have not changed since- You know, Coach Pingatore just had these dreams in his head. hejust wanted me to go the same route he took Isiah. The most steals. he played as a freshman. Not even Isiah was a four-year starter. You know, basketball was just like- he was possessed with it. You know, it was his life. And he wanted it to be everybody else's life too. All-conference in the SCC. All-state in the Sun-Times. A McDonald All-American nomination. M. V.P., 1990-1991 season, William Gates. When I had some real problems... I couldn't go to none of them about it. You know, I was having some problems with Catherine's family and my family... and I said, you know, "Coach Pingatore, their family's been getting on me about... you know, I'm not doing this, and I'm not doing that. " And the only thing Coach Pingatore could say is... "Write 'em off. " That was all he told me. And I was, like, "What kind of advice is that?" Well, how's it feel to be finishing? Uh, I mean- Now, don't say anything you don't mean, William. I mean, I'm serious, Coach. I enjoyed my four years. I mean, we had our run-ins, and, uh - - Who had run-ins? - Me and you. - We did? - Yeah. Like that time you made me run 75 stairs. - I never f- - You never forgot that. Never. See,you should have been happy and enthusiastic about doing your punishment. But someday you're gonna learn that, uh... everything that was done was for your benefit. So that you can come back four years from now and say, "Coach,you were right. "Everything that happened at St. Joe's helped me a lot... and as a result I got a degree. '" That's what I'm hoping for. I'm going into communication... so when you start asking for a donation, I'll know the right way to turn you down. I'm sure you'll never turn us down. Ah. I never really felt that he bought into the system. he was never convinced what he was doing was the right thing to do. But overall he had a good career- not a great career. It's never good-bye. Could've been different if the injury didn't occur. But it did occur. - And that was the big difference. - I'm proud of what you did. - Okay. - I expect you to do a lot better. I don't want this to be the- - Yeah. - You know, the highlight of your career. You've got a lot of bigger and better things to do. I'll see you later. Good luck. Well... another one walks out the door, and another one comes in the door. That's what it's all about. It came through for me. - Got the score I needed. - All right. And, hey... I'm eligible. You know, this is one of the greatest feelings in the world. That's about it. I mean - After five attempts, William's composite score of 17.5... is rounded up to 18... and he can finally accept a scholarship to play at Marquette. I think my mom... all through high school really, really was proud of me. She said, "Everybody's throwing their dreams into you... but you got to throw your own dreams into yourself. '" When I gave her the diploma after the graduation... she was, like, "This is it, one of my proudest moments. '" My baby graduated. Curtis always wanted to go to Marquette... and his grades weren't good enough for him to go... and now it's like he got the grades,you know? Excuse me, Curtis. You gonna give anybody else a chance? What two countries are we competing with for world trade? Before Arthur can graduate, he must pass summer school. And for the first time in three years, Shannon isn't there with him. The other country, of course, we said- he thought he could sell drugs and don't get caught,you know. But he found out the hard way. And I told him, while he was doing all that - I wasn't hanging with Shannon then. I was like, man, "Shannon, you should stop, man. Stop doing that stuff. " We always said we weren't gonna never do no stufflike that. We werejust gonna go on and graduate and go on to college. But,you know, he had to be the one. One week before his graduation, Arthur is robbed at gunpoint. At first I thought he was gonna shoot me because I didn't have no money. 'Cause he kept asking me, "You got - You got some money. Where your wallet at?" Be like, "What you driving a car like this for?" I was, like, "I ain't got no wallet. " And then,you know, he grabbed me and stuff,and I was- and I was about to panic and stuff, and I just calmed down. I sit down and had a long talk with him and his sister. Someone pulled a pistol on her right down the street from the house. I said, "Do you all understand what is going on out here in these streets today? '" Even with me, when I was out there - you know, out there strung out - you know, I looked for somebody that seemed like they had something. hmm. After this, I - I - I'm ready. I'm ready to leave. 'Cause there ain't no - Everybody up here going to jail or- or either in drugs. Or dead. James Davis. Arthur Agee. Please hold your applause so everyone can hear. Christine Bowman. Erica Byrd. Sandra Crockett. I never thought he would get to the place where he's at now. Arthur's self-esteem was really drained from St. Joseph's. I said, "Well,you are somebody. "No matter where you go, it's what you have in your heart... that you're gonna go somewhere. '" Come on. Move out of the way, boy. Everybody out there, there's gonna be a party tonight. There's gonna be a party tonight. You know it. These flame-broiled burgers - It's scary, man. I'm telling you. I'm telling you the truth. Scary generation, man. - I thought you might hit me in my head, fool. - I didn't hit you in your head. To my son. I hope you pursue all your dreams and your desires... that you have within you. I love you very much. - Ooh, that is so nice. - Whatever. Oh, no.! God, we thank you for this day, Lord. And we ask you to go with junior, Lord. And we thank you, Lord. Go with him as he try to better his education, Lord. And we thank you for him for coming this far. We came this far by faith, Lord. And we ask you, Father, when he get in college, Lord... to keep him, Lord- keep him protected. We thank you for him,Jesus. - In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. - Amen. Oh,you can cry like a river, girl. You're crying so bad, I won't even make fun of you. Oh, God. - I'm gonna miss you. - I'll miss you too. I want you to be good, okay? And don't, uh, get mixed up in none of that old stuff that, uh, you know. I done told you what to do. Don't get no alcohol, no wine coolers. None of that stuff. Bye-bye. I just hope he stay in there. That's what worries me most. Once he get in the door, I want him to stay in there for four years. Think he gonna make it? You do? I think he gonna make it. Well, I hope so anyway. When I was young - When I was little, that's all I used to think about- the NBA. If I set my mind, I can - I can go. I can st - I can go. Get in good college. I can go. But if I don't, you know, I ain't gonna be no drug dealer, you know... cry about it, come back and, you know... stick up gas stations or nothing like that, you know. Probably go into comedian or architecture, something like that. You don't think that you'll have the kind of tough times like your dad's been through? No. I can't say - I can't say that I will. I can't say that I don't. I don't know. Four years ago, that's all I used to dream about was playing in the NBA. I don't really dream about it like that anymore. You know, even though... I love playing basketball, but, you know... I want to do other things with my life too. - Say, "hi, Daddy. '" - hi, Daddy. - "how you doing? '" - how you doing? - Say, "I love you. '" - I love you. If I had to stop playing basketball right now, I think I'd still be happy. - I think I would. - Thank you, Daddy. - Where'd Daddy get to? - Uh, Marquette. Marquette? That's why when somebody say,you know... "When you get to the NBA, don't forget about me, '"and all that stuff... I should say to them, "Well, if I don't make it, watch you don't forget about me. '" There are still a few places left that you can't get to from here. Places without phones or faxesor even roads. There are still a few corners of the globe so remote they remain aloof from what we call the modern world. This is the realm of the bush pilot. Tom Clayton is leaving behind his family and friends for a two-year adventure around the world. The 28-year-old Radnor resident checks out his single engine plane for the last time before taking a solo flight from wings Airport in Norristown. The purpose is to try and go to seven continents in different parts of the world and live and work with bush pilots. As a bush pilot Claytor will fly daredevil routes while delivering vital supplies to remote areas. So before taking to the skies Claytor got his hugs and kisses while cameras recorded all the action. And there was even a special goodbye. Then as the crowd looked on the pilot closed the cockpit door and took off. The day he left, he made the local TV news. If he makes it back, he'll make history. Tom Claytor hopes to be the first to fly around the world Stopping on all seven continents before returning home I had this tremendous desire inside to look at other places to look in places like Greenland and the Sahara Desert. Things that I'd only seen on the map in high school. So I think it's a desire to look at different parts of the world and to live with people on other parts of the world but maybe also it's a little challenge or test for myself as well. Claytor is 31 years old. When he was 12 he set foot in an airplane for the first time. It was to be the start of an obsession When he was just 18 he earned a pilot's license. By his early 20s he had begun working as a bush pilot in Africa. Today, Claytor owns his own airplane named "Timmissartok" after one of Lindbergh's planes. Outrigged with a special reserve tank the Cessna 180 Taildragger can fly about 14 hours without refueling. The struggle to keep his gas tank full has shaped Claytor's journey from the very start. I left home with $20,000. And when I got to Greenland it cost me $1,000 to fill up my gas tank once. So it became very obvious that I was going to have to find ways of getting money. And my idea which was only an idea when I left was that I'd work the plane on the way. And when I got to Niger I found a job doing a survey of a park which paid me $8,000. So I've been able to find jobs for the plane on the way. Besides working the plane as he goes, Claytor's writing a book about his experience in the far corners of the world. So far, he's logged 46,000miles three continents and 28 countries. On December 2, 1990 he left Pennsylvania heading north through Canada to Greenland and then Iceland. In the summer of '91, he arrived in Europe. And early in '92 he began travelling through Africa. The longest leg of Claytor's journey so far has been on the Africa continent. His video journal is testimony to a rare and spontaneous adventure. We're now in market which is the largest market in West Africa We're now in... and Mr. has with him scorpions And now he's going to show me that he can use his so that the scorpions don't bite you we just did this once before I hope it's successful again. Okay... It's starting to rain now. Now in southwest Africa Claytor has spent the last few weeks exploring the country of Namibia. Today, he plans to visit an area rich in African history a group of abandoned towns near the Namibian coast. There's a town southwest of the Namib Desert called Kolmanskop and this town was founded because a railway worker working on the rail line found a very pretty stone. And this lead to a diamond rush which caused this town to spring out of the desert and then as quickly as it started it disappeared. Kolmanskop was followed by other boomtowns a sudden cluster of Diamond settlements that sprang up in the lifeless desert. At the turn of the century, Diamonds were so plentiful here, they say you could collect a jarful a night by just picking up whatever glistened in the moonlight. In the saloons you could buy your whiskey and your woman with raw diamonds. May 10th. It's a ghost town, almost like the American west. Casinos. Hotels. Houses. There's something haunting and magical about this place. I keep looking in the sand half expecting to find a diamond. But there are none. When the sand was picked clean, the people disappeared. What they left behind is am eerie memento. An empty museum. A movie set. I can almost imagine the sounds of music and laughter here. Claytor's itinerary is deliberately unpredictable. If he has enough money for gas he can simply scout around off the beaten path for material for his book. What I'm trying to do is visit remote parts of the world places like this desert jungles ice caps and places which are basically the frontiers of civilization. And the venue by which I do that is I look for bush pilots because bush pilots work in these areas andvery often they're not just pilots but they're scientists they're businessman, they're researches they're missionaries and conservationists. These pilots also teach me the particulars of these various areas and how to go through them safely. Recently, another bush pilot told Claytor about an isolated shipwreck on the Namiban Beach. One of the many skeletons along Africa's infamous Skeleton Coast. Claytor is looking for a South African freighter called the Otavi which sank in 1945. A mere footnote in history, the wreck is said to be extremely well preserved thanks to the tiny cove where it went aground. Just beyond this swept area and that beach, there's a rock peninsula and one beyond it. You'll see in between the two is the shipwreck. Right here the ocean is just moving back off the Otavi. There are seals just piled up around that wreck. You can see the wreck jetting up out of the sand. And part of it's been split off. And those are seals they're just packed all around it. May 15th. I am on the edge of one of the oldest deserts in the world. The skeleton coast where countless shipwrecked sailors lost their lives. It feels like a place I was never meant to be. Like a ghost, the Otavi looms before me rising three decks above the sand, something almost lost and forgotten. I try to imagine the men who wrecked here half a century ago. How did it feel to be marooned in such a place? The wreck of the Otavi is so inaccessible that Claytor is probably the lonely vessel's first visitor in decades. His book promises to be a guided tour of the middle of nowhere. May 16th Today is the 894th day since I left home. Sometimes I worry that I will become to comfortable being alone. Already, I can't imagine what it would be like to be in a room full of people. I miss the most unbelievably trivial things. A bookstore. A movie. A long hot shower. A pillow. The only sound I hear is a hyena in the distance. I wonder where it is. But I relish the quite... the solitude. May 17th. I wake up at dawn and it's freezing. I brush my teeth and break down camp. And then, almost as though it were a part of myself I see to the plane. What I'm doing. But of course I think about it. I check everything and the I check it again. Three pilots I met in the Faroe Islands were recently killed when their helicopter crashed. That makes 15 pilots... 15 friends who have died since I started flying. There's so much of flying that's completely out of your control. So I try to concentrate on what I can control. Despite the dangers and perhaps also because of them Claytor loves to fly The whole world goes upside down. And yet everything inside the airplane stays the same. Kinda fun. If you do it wrong you can really get into a lot of trouble. You can really really scare yourself if you do it too fast or too slow or you stall the tail hour heart drops... so that's when I do it by myself to practice it. Because you don't want to do it wrong when you're trying to show someone. But the life of a bush pilot is not all barrel rolls and stunt flying. With funds running low Claytor needs to start looking for his next paying job. He decides to leave Namibia flying northeast to Botswana. Here, he'll visit an old friend and fellow bush pilot... Perhaps, with a little luck he'll also get a line on some work. Bush pilots everywhere seem to have an informal network for news and information. In Africa, many are involved in wildlife management and conservation, like Lloyd Wilmot. Just keep a nook out for breeding herds and any sign of vultures and hyenas. Wilmot runs a safari camp in Chobe National Park. In addition he uses his plane to help combat poaching in the immense refuge where he is an honorary game warden. Today, Claytor has become along with Wilmot to track a herd of elephants just outside the park. You've a huge herd underneath you right now. Roger. I'm turning to the right. I want to have another look at that herd. Okay, I'm in on your left. Now that they've spotted the elephants from the air they'll continue the search on foot tomorrow. Lloyd Wilmot is one of the few wildlife experts who routinely approaches elephant without the protection of a vehicle. He and Clayton will wait at a watering hole for a close up view of the animals. What do you do if you're surprised by an elephant? Is there a trick to not getting eaten? There's no real trick. The thing is to try and keep the wind in your favor. If you if you can see him before he sees you you can figure out which way the wind's going and then go down wind of him and keep clear of him but in the ultimate analysis if you are confronted you get to something like a big tree, like that. If you can't climb it you just get behind it and you have a clot of earth like a lump over there or a piece of wood, and throwing that at them often turns them and distracts them. In their sort of terms of reference nothing has ever thrown anything at them so they get a bit disconnected when you actually throw something at them. Wow...! There is Notice how they skim the top of the water because that's where it's cleanest and clearest. The sediment sinks down and you have about half half an inch to an inch of clean water on top. So they suck just on the top, much like you see them doing now... you have to look carefully, the ears are cocked. Claytor approaches a bull shoot some video of him but the large make has no interest in posing for the camera. What did you just do there? It's a bluff charge. It's to get you to go. Just call his bluff. Stay put. May 22nd. I have just been charged by a wild elephant. Lloyd laughs lightly, like he's seen it a thousand times. Neither one of us says much. There's really not much to say after an elephant charge. After a while a large group emerges from the bush. Its an extraordinary thing to be so close to these magnificent creatures. It's so easy to feel small in the face of such splendid power. Thanks to bush pilot grapevine, Claytor has secured a job in an international park in Zimbabwe. The two pilots part company in the Botswana sky Claytor's headed for Hwange National Park in Western Zimbabwe, but first he'll make a slight detour to one of Africa's most spectacular natural wonders: Victoria Falls. I'm now flying low over the Zambezi River approaching Victoria Falls and as you look ahead at the trees you just see this mist this towering mist rising our of the trees that are above the water. And the Africans call it "Mosi-oa-Tunya." Which means the smoke that thunders. The Zambezi River drops up to a million gallons of water a second over the 350-foot falls. Even before it comes into sight, the roar of the plummeting water is deafening. The rainbow everywhere. You see the mist sailing the screen. Look at that chasm, and there's a rainbow coming across it. Wow, look at that right below the falls you can see there're gorges that just zig back and forth about five times. And in these gorges it also drops down to this boiling black water below. It's spectacular. May 26th. I can't resist flying down into the gorge even though it's risky. Not only could I be killed I could probably get arrested. As I corner the water explodes into a torrent if frothing white waves. Sometimes flying is just a fast way to travel. And sometimes it's the greatest thing in the world. Leaving the falls behind Claytor reaches Hwange National Park. Before he can land in a remote area Claytor has to clear the runway. Collisions with animals are one of the greatest dangers bush pilots face in Africa. Okay, are you feeling strong this morning. On the ground, Claytor gets some help refueling and prepares for his next assignment in the air. Conservationist and researcher Janet Rachlow has hired Claytor to help track an injured rhinoceros in the park. Rachlow is part of a controversial program designed to protect severely endangered rhinos. Park officials in Zimbabwe have been removing the horns from dozens of rhinos in a desperate attempt to deter poachers. Claytor was there during one of the dehorning operations and videotaped it. The first time I saw rhinos getting their horns cut off it was in the southeast section of Zimbabwe. This huge rhino was lying there sedated and this man pulled the started ripping the horn off its face. And you start to ask yourself, "why made clear tome was that there's nothing else that can do here. The rhino Claytor and Rachlow are searching for is an adult female named Zola. Even though she was dehorned, she was shot and badly wounded by poachers. In the vast 5000 square mile park, the only way to locate individual animals is from the air. Even then, it's no easy matter. We're starting to get a signal. Okay Once we get a little bit closer, we can listen out of both wings... and we wanna balance the volume that comes in on the two wings and that'll keep us going right towards it... Okey Geez, it's hard to see through this bush, isn't it? Okay, straight... Real close real close directly under us. Nothing under us on the left. It's quite possible that her collar has come off. It's come off several of the other animals. So what we'll need to do is just come in on foot and find the collar or find the animal. But, you know, now we know the area. With the help of expert trackers, the search for Zola continues on foot. Dr. Michael Kock is the veterinarian for Zimbabwe's national park. Once they find the rhino, Dr. Kock will shoot her with a tranquilizer dart so he can treat her gunshot wounds. I need... The hole is swollen here. That's from a gunshot there? What I need is, I need an eye cover My shirt? She looks good. You can see she's done some wearing here around the edges. If Zola had died, the poachers would probably have cut off what was left of her horn to sell. Still, dehorning does appear to reduce poaching overall. It's easy to want to take an emotional stance to conserving these animals. And if you take that stance, dehorning is hard to justify. But I think we have to be realistic, and we have to look at what's happening. And, I mean, I'd be really sad to tell my children or my grandchildren that, sorry, there used to be something as magnificent as a dinosaur, but we killed them all Strafed with machine gun fire the huge creature's legs are swollen with infection. Once her wounds are treated Zola will be given an antidote to the tranquilizer and freed. May 27th. The immense animal awakes and rises to her feet but does not move. Then, slowly she lowers her massive head to the ground and uses her chin as a crutch to limp off into the bush. The doctor sounds optimistic but I am not. She might survive these wounds but to a poacher, her life is worth far less than the sad stump at he end of her nose. Four days later, Claytor receives a wire from Janet Rachlow. Despite all their efforts Zola has died. Back on his way, Claytor returns to the explorer's life. He has decided to pay a visit to an orphanage for chimpanzees in burundi. Claytor heads north toward Burundi. But first he'll cross Zambia, and an area called the Kafue Flats. I'm now somewhere over the Kafue swamps, and as far as you can see in every direction, it's absolutely flat. And it's this green patina over dark blue water. If you didn't see the sun reflecting, you know that it's just a green patina of growth on top of this vast swamp. I think if you lost your engine here I'm not sure how deep it is but you'd probably just mush into this green gunk and just sit on top of the wing and then try to call someone. You just can't crash here. If he did crash here, Claytor's tiny plane would be almost impossible to spot from the air. The orange stripes on the tail and wings are a safety measure. If he goes down, the right color might make it easier to find him in the empty terrain he frequents Claytor hopes he'll never have to find out if it works. And crashing isn't the only thing a pilot has to worry about. I've had a couple of close calls. When I got to Algeria, it was right after the military took over. And they thought that a bush pilot was a pilot for George Bush. And right after the gulf war, George Bush was not a very popular person. I tried to quickly explain that a bush pilot had nothing at all to do with George Bush. Claytor decides to make a brief stop in Zambia to refuel and chart his course to Burundi. Bueno Bungee. How's everything here? I am from Ndola, but I needed to refuel. Hello. How are you? Nice to meet you. I'm Claytor... We are just from around here. The lanky American is an unusual sight wherever he lands and his grasp of African languages is often a crowd pleaser. This is my first time ever to come here. It's nice to meet you. Oh, it's very nice to meet you. When landing, you're suppose to pay something - a landing fee. How much should I pay you? I want to pay. How much? How many kilograms? It's one ton. 5-60 5-60. How many U.S. Dollars is that? It's about one U.S. Dollar. I understand that Can I pay you two U.S. Dollars? So is that okay? This is more than okay. Okay no but please the change is for you guys You can have it. Because landing fees here are very reasonable... so it's one cent. These are for you to do as you wish to improve your airport. I think that's the cheapest airport I've ever landed at in my whole life. When you fly in the day it's very bumpy, because the sun heats the surface of the African earth and it just gets these currents of air straight up. At night, it's completely different. The air is calm and still. You can see the stars. You can see fires on the ground. You can see the moonlight reflecting off of lakes. And it's very calm and peaceful and kind of reflective time. You're suspended in space over this large black think that you can't see. It's mysterious. The chimpanzee orphanage in northern Burundi was founded by the Jane Goodall Institute in 1989. Chimps confiscated from smugglers are brought here to be cared for by conservationists and volunteers. Dean Anderson is the director of the refuge. At the moment, it is home to 17 chimpanzees, and one baby gorilla. How old is she? She's about three She was confiscated at the airport. She was taken from her forest home as all the other chimps here... In Zaire... eastern Zaire, because she's an eastern lowland gorilla, by poachers and then she was brought to ; she was in transport... now what they were going to do with her there I don't know. Probably a zoo or... Is that where they were mostly going to zoos at one point? Zoos probably. A gorilla would probably go to a zoo. 'Cuz a private person would just... No... Not be so interested, right, because they get too big and too violent? Yes, well too big. I mean, how do you keep a 300-pound gorilla or something. June 4th. There are baby chimpanzees everywhere. They are affectionate and smart. Each one has a distinct personality. One has mastered the art of threading a shoelace. If they were returned to the forest, they would be killed by wild chimps. They can never go home. My mind drifts back to a day I spent in Equatorial Guinea and that little chimp I found. We just had something to eat at a restaurant and I came out. And sitting here tied to this chair is this little baby chimpanzee. I don't know how old it is. He seems very cold. He was hugging himself when I found him. And it's, I'm shocked by it. I don't know what to think. He's just sitting here. Oh my god. I've got to go. Most of the chimps in the orphanage were captured by poachers to be sold as pets. Though they are extremely appealing as babies, growing chimpanzees are too smart and too destructive to make good pets. Once the chimps become powerful adults, they must be confined in cages, a lonely place for these social primates, who quickly become bored and desperate for attention. Soon, Dean hopes the orphanage may be able to give some chimps a little more freedom. This is a temporary situation. We're hoping to get money together to out them into the sanctuary that we're talking about. And there they'll be, they'll all be together. They won't have cages, they won't have ropes. They'll be on an open space where they can have a semi-natural social life. Which is so important for chimpanzees. Wildlife in Africa seems to be in direct conflict with people here because they need space and the animals need space and the animals end up losing... I was impressed that someone was trying to take these chimps that had already basically list so much, they were trying to in a way give them back to themselves and nature. May be its not perfect. Nut it was something. Soon Claytor must leave Africa, and make the rest of his way around the globe. But first, he wants to make one more stop. For some time, he has wanted to visit Zaire. But so far, he hasn't been granted clearance to land there. Okay, this is Mike Oscar in southern Zaire. Over. Mike Oscar... is there any way for me to confirm a clearance from Ndola? Over That's very difficult because of the fact that there's no telephone communication between the two places. Over Okay, roger. If I arrive with my copy of my AFTN request, how easy is it to negotiate once on the ground? Over. How much money do you have? Over I've got a fair amount. How much do you think it would cost? Over. At least $250 each. Over Roger, I understand. The turbulent political situation in Zaire makes it extremely difficult to get permission to enter the country. Claytor decides to go in any way, without an official clearance. He'll touch down at a small airstrip where he can refuel form his own supply. If he's lucky, no one will ask him for his papers. In Africa there's a rule an unwritten rule, and that is that it's easier to get pardoned than to get permission. Because of communications and how difficult it is to get clearance and things, its sometimes easier just tot do them and afterwards, of course, you get in trouble. But the Africans are very forgiving. Good people, and very often they'll forgive you. For Claytor, everyday is part of a grand-if solitary-adventure. He's been away form home for nearly three years and it could be three more before he returns. From Africa, he will head east to the four remaining continents between him a home. Claytor has grown accustomed to being a stranger everywhere he goes but he is also changed by every place he visits and every person he meets. I think there's a part of me that's become a little bit African, because the Africans have a saying which is when you ask them when they'll come back or what time something will be ready they'll smile and look at you and say anytime from now. So when people ask me when I' going to get home sometimes I just can only say anytime from now. Look, right there. A chamber. Okay. I see it. Go on. Get off my foot. Oh, will you--? Go on. Do you see anything? Spiders. Now get moving, MacGyver. Get moving, don't dawdle. All right. Look. Huh? There. A sigma. Ah. Do you recall your Greek, MacGyver? Sigma is the letter... S. Yes. As in Solon. It says "Atlantis anaduotai." "Atlantis rises." We've found the medal. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What? Wait. Oh, what, you want a photograph? Thank you. That's not what I had in mind. What? Just hang on a second, will you? Hello. What is it? Uh... Hm. What's that? That's neat. Neat? Yeah. Huh. At last. At last, it's wonderful. Let's get out of here. All in good time. I must take a closer look at this ingenious...device. Absolutely marvelous workmanship. Fiendishly clever. Eh, what sort of trap do you suppose it sets off? No. Hey. I'll entertain any ideas, MacGyver. MacGyver. Well, do you have any ideas? Oh, man. Thousands of years ago, before time itself was measured, as we know it, there was Atlantis. It was a great city, dedicated to art and science. The people of Atlantis built their city at the foot of a volcano, which they used to make heat and power. They worshipped a mysterious object called the Torch of Truth, said to possess the light of universal wisdom. For centuries, Atlantis was the center of the world, and the world was at peace. Then, in an instant, the volcano that heated their homes and powered their machines erupted. Now fleeing the ruined city, a few survivors gathered the great wealth of Atlantis, and hid it in a place they called the Tower of Fear. They wrote that story in a book made out of platinum pages. Heh, platinum, heh, heh. Ahem- - Yes. Uh... Thousands of years passed, until 590 B.C., when a Greek scholar journeyed to Egypt. His name was Solon. There he is. It was there he discovered two relics of Atlantis. Ah, one was the platinum book, and the other was the Torch of Truth itself. Solon gathered his disciples and presented them with an Ark, in which he'd locked the Torch of Truth. And taking the only key, Solon left with the platinum book to search for the Treasure of Atlantis. And vanished... without a trace. That is... until five years ago, when I found this very same key in the ruins of Thera. I am convinced that this is the key to the Ark of Solon. And I propose to follow in his footsteps and find the Treasure of Atlantis. I think we've heard quite enough. Mister Director, now that I have the medallion, I'm certain I can prove my theory. If the Academy will, eh, kindly, uh, fund my next expedition. The Royal Academy of Archaeological Science finances the serious study of history. We have no interest in your obsession with Atlantis. As for this artifact it will stay right here, as part of the Academy's permanent collection. No, but I beg you to reconsider. Rest assured, we will. In fact, I strongly recommend that the Board reconsider your tenure here. Reconsider my tenure? Ah. Come on, MacGyver. Still dawdling after all these years. You haven't changed. What, you have? You're the only man I know who'd plan an archaeological dig in the middle of a civil war. Whatever happened to that eager young student at university who was so anxious to explore ancient ruins and solve the mysteries of the ages? He remembers his last experience with you. Ha-ha-ha. You're not still bothered by that minor mishap? We were buried alive. That's minor? If I taught you anything at university, it's that the search for truth... is never easy, MacGyver. Oh. Besides, we got out. Thanks to you. And the medallion proved that Solon was at Thera, looking for the Treasure of Atlantis. Professor Carson didn't think so. Carson! That pompous fool. He still thinks that Atlantis is a fairy tale. Fairy tale, I ask you. But I'll prove him wrong, when we find the Torch of Truth. You really think it's here, huh? Oh, yes. After Solon left on his quest, his disciples left Athens and sailed to England, mm, uh, looking for refuge in caves near E-Exeter. Over generations they formed a religion. The Cult... of Solon. Splendid. Yes, uh, the Cult, or descendents of the Cult, uh, lived peacefully in England for hundreds of years, and that is until the Romans invaded and then they were hunted down and slaughtered. But a few... survivors escaped, uh, with the Ark and the Torch, and sailed from England. And came to these catacombs. And then died. But not before hiding the Torch somewhere down here. I'd bet my life on it. Them's some pretty high stakes, professor. Let's hope you don't lose that bet, huh? Oh, relax, my boy. The soldiers don't even know the catacombs are here. Colonel Petrovic... Well... Wa... This must be the oldest part of the catacombs. These must be the remains of early Christians who hid from the Romans. Over centuries, others followed, like the Cult... of Solon. Professor, please. Let's skip the lecture, find what we came for and get out of here. There's a civil war going on upstairs. Oh, nonsense, United Nations ordered a cease-fire. Yeah, well, I don't think they care. Oh, these people never got on. They've been waging war amongst themselves since the 12th century. When I find the Torch of Truth, we can use it to continue Solon's quest, and find the Treasure of Atlantis, and there won't be any more wars. I can feel it. I know it. We're close. Professor... The Sigma. It's the sign of Solon. MacGyver... it's...the Ark... of Solon. Oh... Oh... It looks so beautiful. Yeah, it's gorgeous. Now can we get it and us out of here? But just think. Inside this Ark rests the Torch of Truth. Ah, yes. "Gods march in rank." Yes! Yes. "And Hecate races in the heavens, "enters the gates of Hades, "and the Book shall summon the power of the ancient ones. "Offer the Torch of Truth to the Temple of Ages, and the Treasure of Atlantis...shall rise." It's the riddle of Solon. Great! Now can we go? You are going nowhere. What? What is it? Ah! Tell me who you were spying for. United Nations? U.S. Intelligence? Who? We're not spies. Ah, yes, you are, uh historians. Historians? I happen to be a professor of archaeology. Give me a light. Colonel... does that box really look like standard espionage gear? A clever prop to lend authenticity to your cover. A prop? That Ark is a priceless relic, you buffoon. In time of war, the penalty for spying is immediate execution. What war? This area is supposed to be protected by the U.N. You are remarkably well-informed for one who claims not to be a spy. I watch the news. Then you will know that this region belongs to my people and we will take it. Even if it means killing innocent people who happen to live here? We must cleanse the area. You're talking ethnic cleansing. That's racial genocide. Look, pal, the whole world has been watching what's been going on around here. Now, you can call it whatever you want. But it's murder. Pure and simple. Exactly, now for the last time, we were sent by the Royal Academy of Archaeological Science in London, England. You are already dead. It is only a question of how you will die. Like men, with dignity, or screaming in agony. Either way, you will tell me who you are spying for. Hey. Stop that, MacGyver. Ah! Leave him. Leave him alone. No. Thank you for your knife. This will make a great cigar box. Gentlemen... I wouldn't come too close to the door if I were you. Have someone guard the prisoners. You, stay here. Yes, sir. Of all the asinine, fool-headed behavior. You might have been killed. For what? For nothing. Well, what good is that? Have a little faith, professor. I'd prefer a hacksaw. I'm sorry, MacGyver, I'm afraid we're done for. I should never have dragged you into this. Well, no one twisted my arm. No, you don't understand. I lied. The Academy didn't send me. In fact, the, uh, directors, uh, revoked my tenure. I mean to put it simply... I was sacked. Who financed the expedition? I did, I thought that if I could find the Torch, prove Atlantis really existed, then the Academy would reinstate me. It took all my savings to get this far. I could barely afford the telegram I sent asking you to come. I hate to deceive you like that, but, uh, I had no other option. Uh, you must believe me. I was at the end of my rope, MacGyver. Oh, please understand, I mean, y-you were the only person that I could turn to. Story of my life. Anyway, it's useless, I mean, the Ark's in the hands of a fanatic who thinks that it's a cigar box. And the key that opens it is a thousand miles away at the Royal Academy in London. MacGyver, i-is there a purpose behind these acrobatics? Oh, I hope so. Watch your eyes. Bravo. I always said you were my brightest student. If only you had applied yourself at university. Professor! Quite right. Carry on. Looks like that gate's the only way out of here. Come on. Put this on. What? I'm not leaving without the Ark. Professor-- MacGyver, the Torch of Truth is in that Ark. I'm not leaving without it. All right. Understood. The final shipment of arms is being unloaded now, Colonel Petrovic. Good. A schedule has been brought forward. We attack in two hours. If the prisoners are spies, the U.N. forces may know of our plans. We should strike at once. Could these men be telling the truth? That old chest-- It does not matter. They are to be executed immediately. Those barbarians must have tried to force it open. Look. I don't know, professor. This scratch looks pretty old. The Ark's magnetic. Yeah, let's check it out later, come on. There's no engine! That'll keep 'em out for a while. And us in. Shh, quiet! Sound the alarm. Come on, MacGyver, they know we've escaped. We haven't yet. Give me a hand here. No one left through the gate. Search every inch of this place. Find them and kill them. Load it up, professor. What? You sure this will work? Nope. Good. That's the MacGyver I know. Open this up. Looks like they're gonna open the door for us. Get some men over here! Yes, sir. Now what are you doing? Trying to stop some ethnic cleansing. Buckle up. It worked! It worked! Ha-ha-ha! I knew it would. I always said you were my brightest student. It worked. All living things contain carbon. In fact, the term "organic" is often defined as "containing carbon." One carbon isotope present in all living forms is carbon-14, which has a half-life of 5,730 years. Meaning in that amount of time, half the carbon-14 of a dead organism will decay. By measuring the ratio of the remaining carbon-14, we can determine the life of an organic sample, such as the cloth of an Egyptian mummy, or the ashes of a caveman's fire. Tomorrow I'll demonstrate this process in the university lab. Hiya. MacGyver. Is it really you? I think so. How are you, Kelly? I didn't think I'd see you again after you left Thera. What's it been, four years? Five. Ah. This is for you, teach. Are you finally flirting with me? Um... Actually, it's a bribe. I need your help. Funny. Didn't think you needed anyone's help. You'd be surprised. What is that? Some kind of oxidized matter. Yeah, it's off an artifact Professor Atticus and I found. "Atlantis" Atticus? My grandfather still talks about him, none too fondly, I might add. Yeah, I'll bet. We just got back from the Balkans. What was the artifact you found? A metal box. An Ark. The Ark of Solon? Atticus thinks so. But that's incredible. The Ark of Solon is like the Loch Ness Monster of archaeology. People think it's a legend. Isn't it supposed to hold the Torch of Truth from Atlantis? Don't know. We haven't opened it yet. This came off a scratch on the side. Can you analyze it for me, please? Sure. I'll run some tests in the lab. Thanks. Would you like to carry my books? Yeah, sure. What a madhouse. How do you stand the noise? This is the rush hour. You should be here when it's really quiet. It's enough to drive you batty. Kelly! I'm so sorry I missed your lecture. It's impossible London traffic. Hello, Simon. Oh, do you remember--? MacGyver. Professor Carson. You were at Thera with that buffoon, Atticus. Nearly got yourselves killed, poking around the ruins. MacGyver and Atticus have found the Ark of Solon. Isn't that amazing? So Atticus is still hunting for the mythical Atlantis, is he? Heh. The man will never learn. But if the Ark is genuine, and the Torch is inside, it's the greatest find of the century. Where is this so-called Ark? The Royal Academy, sir. Well, I'll go and see for myself. We have to run some tests. I'll meet you back at your hotel room. Don't be long. My flight back to Greece leaves this afternoon. Nice talking to you. The years haven't mellowed him. No. That's my grandfather. I thought he never left Greece. I made the mistake of telling him that the university had offered me tenure. So he made a special trip to talk me into accepting. According to Simon, staying at the university will mature me, like I was a bottle of wine or a wedge of cheese. What's with this "Simon" thing? He doesn't like being called grandfather. Says it makes him feel old. Simon's planned my whole life. It's all right for him to spend his time digging in ancient ruins, but I'm supposed to stay at the university and have a solid career. Which, roughly translated, means a safe career. Well, what do you want? A challenge. Right now teaching is just repeating what I already know. I want to get out, see the world, learn new things. So get out. See the world. Learn some new things. I don't want to disappoint Simon. He raised me after my parents died. Helped me earn my Ph.D. And I owe him so much. But sometimes he can be so... Demanding? Hm. More like tyrannical. Kelly... It's your life. It should be your decision. I wish I had as much confidence in me as you do. I shouldn't admit this, but when we were in Thera, I had the most awful crush on you. Me? Really? Perfect timing. That's odd. What? Well, the Ark of Solon was made around the 6th Century B.C., in Athens during the Iron Age. But according to this, the tool that dented it was made from tin, and judging by these trace elements, it came from the mines in Cornwall during pre-Roman times. Cornwall? Isn't that near Exeter? Yes. Why, does it mean something? I'd better get to the academy. May I go with you? Yeah. So why do you think your grandfather's so hostile about Atlantis? If Atlantis was real, it would mean rewriting the history books. I thought that was an archaeologist's job, to rewrite history. I guess some people are frightened of change. Yes? MacGyver and Miss Carson have arrived. They're about to open the Ark. Good. You know what to do. "Atlantis anaduotai." "Atlantis rises." The words on the medallion and the Ark are identical. Coincidence. You can't expect us to believe these two artifacts are in any way connected. "The gods march in rank, "and Hecate races in the heavens. "Enter the gates of Hades, "and the Book shall summon the power of the ancient ones. Offer the Torch of Truth to the Temple of Ages--" "And the Treasure of Atlantis shall rise." I've seen this riddle in the caves at Exeter, carved on an altar by the Cult of Solon. So the gods are these figures on the side here? Yes. Hermes, Aphrodite, Gaea, Selene, Ares, Zeus and Cronus. This little guy on top, um, how do you pronounce it? Hecate. Demon of the night. According to ancient legend, she was an omen of disaster and death. I'm convinced that these are really instructions written by Solon to help find the Treasure of Atlantis. Addle-minded bunk. The legend of Atlantis is just that, a legend. I can prove it existed. Now, inside this Ark is a relic of Atlantis itself. The Torch of Truth. Where is the director with his key to open the blasted display case? Uh, professor, Kelly discovered something you might want to-- Professor Atticus. I've just been on the phone to the Balkan Embassy. They say that you and Mr. MacGyver are thieves. Oh, do you hear that, MacGyver? First we are spies, now we are thieves. They claim the Ark is a national treasure, and demand its return. You can't return it to those butchers. It belongs to the world. You have no say in the matter. I'll remind you, Professor Atticus, that you no longer work here. Oh, Mr. Director, this Ark contains the missing link to Atlantis, an unknown chapter in history. If you'll just open the display case and let us get hold of that medallion. Excuse me, can I see that? The medallion's magnetic. Yeah, so's the Ark. A magnetic lock and key. Impossible. The people of Solon's time had no concept of the physics of magnetism. Ah, but legend says the people of Atlantis did, and Solon somehow must have learned it from them. Pure speculation. Ha-ha-ha! You won't think so when you see what's inside this Ark. That's it, this is it. This is it. It works. It works, it works. Oh, after all these years, MacGyver. Ha-ha-ha! At long last. The Torch of Truth. I... I don't understand. I knew this was a waste of time. But the Torch must be in here. It isn't, because it never existed. The Torch is a myth, like Atlantis. But the medallion did open the Ark. If that much of the legend is true, maybe the rest is too. Look, if I could take the Ark to Thera and solve the riddle of Solon, uh, I know that I could prove that the ruined city there was Atlantis and find the treasure. You and MacGyver caused enough trouble on Thera five years ago. Simon, you told me the best tool an archaeologist has is an open mind. I won't have my work disrupted again by Atticus and his idiotic notions about a super-civilization. Simon, you are still a blinkered old fool! I have no time for this. I have a plane to catch back to Greece. Come along, Kelly, I'll give you a ride to the university. I'm not going back there, Simon. What are you saying? I've decided I'd like to stay here and work with Atticus and MacGyver. Kelly, you're a scholar, girl, not a treasure hunter. All my life, I've done what you want. I'm quite capable of making up my own mind. First you and MacGyver disrupted my work on Thera, and now you've poisoned my granddaughter's mind. No. It's my decision. Fine. Go ahead. Throw away your academic career, if you want. When you regain your senses, let me know. I'm going back to Thera, which I'm telling you for the last time, is not Atlantis, because Atlantis never existed. The Ark will be returned to the Balkans immediately. Meanwhile, I'd appreciate it if you'd clear out your former office, and remove yourself from the premises. Professor. Come on. Why wasn't the Torch in the Ark? Well, it probably was at one time. You said the Cult of Solon lived in some caves near Exeter, right? Of course. That cut in the Ark was made by a tool forged near there. You mean the cult opened the Ark and removed the Torch? Call the police. Hey! A man planted on the inside fires a tranquilizer dart, escapes in a dummy cab to a waiting speedboat. I think we can safely say this was no ordinary smash and grab. No, this was planned like a military operation. Isn't that an awful lot of trouble to go through to steal artifacts? The Ark and the medallion would sell for millions on the black market. Inspector Rhodes, this just came in. Thank you. Now, we ran your description of the thief through Interpol. Is this the man? No, I- - I didn't get a good look at him. I did. That's the guy. Yannis Zavros. A general in the Greek army, until he was court-martialed. For what? He's the leader of a militant group of fanatics who claim Macedonia as their birthright. They see themselves as the heirs of Alexander the Great. And why would he want artifacts? We suspect he's been funding his cause by selling stolen relics on the international black market. His known associate is Cyril Cleeve. Cleeve? ! What? You know him? I'm afraid I do. He was a student of mine, a few years after you. He had no interest in history, only in hunting treasure. He's Lord Cleeve now. He bought the title, along with an estate in Plymouth. Rather more respectable image than the godfather of artifact smugglers. So why don't you just arrest him? We have no evidence. Cleeve's always very careful to layer himself. He always uses a middleman or a stooge to do the dirty work. By now he's probably smuggled the Ark and the medallion out of the country and locked in some private collector's vault where we'll never find them. I had no idea that trading on artifacts had become such a problem. The international trade in stolen antiquities and fine art is very big business, second only to narcotics. We just don't have the manpower to stop every smuggler, especially a major player like Cleeve. So, what, he gets off, just like that? Look, I don't like it anymore than you do. I do what I can, but I gave up expecting miracles a long time ago. All right, professor, what's going on? MacGyver, what are you doing? You heard Inspector Rhodes. He said both the artifacts were missing. When I tried to stop that little-- That Zavros, I saw him drop the medallion. Now, where is it? Where is it? ! I hid it in my office before the police came. You stole the medallion? Oh, purely for safekeeping. Why? I had no choice, MacGyver. You don't realize what's at stake. I'd say about 20 years... for robbery. I can explain everything. My office is this way. Come on. In you come. It's been torn apart. All right, don't touch anything. I'll call the police. Nonsense, this is how it always looks! A neat office is the product of an empty mind! Professor? Just a moment, MacGyver. Hold your horses. Ah. There we are, safe and sound. Just as I promised. Now, what's going on? Ah, yes, well, that requires some explaining. Yes. We are here. You said the riddle on the Ark was a set of instructions? Exactly. And if, uh, Cleeve stole the Ark, it can only mean that he's after the treasure! Is there some reason you cou--? Is there some reason you couldn't have told the police that? You heard Rhodes. He's got his hands full. Besides, we're running out of time as it is. Now, now. Where's--? Where's my journal? D-d-don't... Don't, uh-- Don't touch... anything. What do you mean, we're running out of time? That's right. In fact, we've only got two days to find the treasure. I can't even find my journal. Why only two days? Ah! Ha. Success. Professor, why only two days? Because that is when the first line of Solon's riddle comes true. I copied it, uh-- Uh, from an altar I found in-- In the caves at Exeter. Where is it? Hm. There we are. There you are. "When the gods march in rank." What does it mean? Well, you saw the carvings on the Ark. Now, as you know-- I mean, when the Romans adopted the Greek gods, they gave them new names. Now, let's see, uh, Hermes became Mercury. Aphrodite, Venus. Gaea, the Earth. And Selene became Luna, the moon. Ares, Mars. Zeus, Jupiter. And Cronus, Saturn. "The gods march in rank." Exactly. Now, according to Royal Observatory records, uh, this orbital alignment happens only once every five hundred years. And it will next take place in two days. And that, I mean, if we are to believe Solon's riddle, is when the Treasure of Atlantis rises. But where is the treasure? Well, legend says that it's hidden in the Tower of Fear. And, uh, the Greek word for "fear" of course, is, uh Thera. Uh, where's the picture? There- - There-- There was a picture. The picture. Where's the picture? Yes. I'll show you. Ah, here we are. Yes, here we are. That's it. And there I am, MacGyver. There I am with your grandfather, and there is the Tower. Professor, you know that volcano is still active. Yes, I know. But there are ruins near the crater. Simon took me there once. That's right. And in two days, when the planets align, we must offer up the Torch of Truth to the Temple of Ages and reveal the treasure. And that is why it is essential we find the-- The Torch. But if the cult took the Torch from the Ark, where did they put it? Well, they probably hid it in the safest place they knew. The caves of Exeter. The cult made these paintings of Atlantis based on descriptions from the platinum book itself. It must have been paradise. Yes. Torch of Truth, I presume. Yes, that's right. Yes. It doesn't tell us much. What does it look like? Well, nobody knows exactly. I mean, these are the only visual representations that I've seen. Well, how can we find the Torch if we don't know what it looks like? Well, Solon says that it's the mirror of the world, reflecting the past, present, and future. Professor, you said the cult was driven out by the Romans. Yes, the ones that weren't killed uh, fled with the Ark. But they thought Solon was coming back for the Torch someday. Yes, that's right. That's right, yes. Well, maybe they hid it where they figured only he could find it. Maybe. Is this the same writing that's on the Ark? Yes, yes, this is the, uh, riddle of Solon. These streaks look like rust. Iron ore. The altar's magnetic. Let's check it out. Wow. I guess. Professor, let's see the medallion. Have you got an idea, MacGyver? Well, if the cult took the Torch out of the Ark, maybe they built a bigger, better one. But where is it? I think we're in it. Are you suggesting that this entire chamber is a giant Ark? This could be the key. Then we need to find a keyhole. Maybe not. The Torch of Truth. It's more magnificent than I ever imagined. Wait a minute. Just wait. I guess it's all right. You're wrong. These caves are full of unpleasant surprises, I'm afraid. Lord Cleeve, at your service. I owe you a debt of thanks, Mr. MacGyver. And you too, Miss Carson. Now, if you'd mind just handing over the Torch to my partner. Partner? I'm truly sorry, MacGyver. I don't like this, Cleeve. You promised not to hurt them. I wouldn't dream of it, but we can hardly have them following us, now can we? I trusted you. How can you do this, Atticus? You're not a criminal. We have what we came for. Let's get out of here. General Zavros has a point. Let's go, professor. The Treasure of Atlantis awaits. Lord Cleeve is right. We cannot afford to have you follow us. Oh, MacGyver! Kelly, try to get this rope over your head. Come on. Ohhh! Come on. Oh! You okay? I can't believe Atticus would do that. Oh. His passion, Cleeve's greed. It makes sense. I'm sorry. I know you looked up to him. Used to. We did exactly what Cleeve wanted us to. Now he and Zavros are going to steal the Treasure of Atlantis, thanks to us. Maybe not. Cleeve's estate. Let's find it. Kind of looks like they're planning a trip. We can't let them take off with the artifacts. I know. Wait here. Just look at it. Unlike anything the world has seen in thousands of years. It is truly magnificent. Probably the finest item I'll ever acquire. It should fetch millions. Money? Is that all that it means to you? Money bought me my title. This estate. And now it'll help me go down in history as the discoverer of the Treasure of Atlantis. Sorry, co-discoverer. You think you can buy your way into the history books? I wouldn't be the first. Come in. Anybody. Answer me, please? Come in, this is an emergency. Have a sherry to celebrate. I may be forced to work with you, but don't expect me to enjoy it. Please, professor, spare me the hypocrisy. You and I are two of a kind. Now, Zavros, he only wants the money to fund his little revolution in Macedonia. But you and I share the same dream, to find the Treasure of Atlantis, no matter what it takes, or what the cost. Go on. Kelly. Miss Carson. Hey, now, there's no need to be rough with her. If she's here, so is MacGyver. General Zavros is right. Where is MacGyver? Answer him. Tell us where MacGyver is. I'm not going to tell you anything. Kelly, I-I do think you should answer them. I don't betray my friends. I'll make her talk. Hold it! Ah, Mr. MacGyver, we've been expecting you. You should know your partner here tried to kill us. Cleeve! Is this true? Don't be naive. Did you really think I'd leave them to follow us or call the police? Good thinking. We didn't come alone. Oh, come on. You don't think I'm gonna fall for an old trick like that? No! Yeah, sure, now who's side are you on? Yours. Can we discuss it later? He's got a point, MacGyver. Come on. Which way? The plane. Oh, MacGyver... Uh, MacGyver. There's something I've got to tell you. Later. Get in. Um... The window! There's no key for the magneto switch. That was what I was trying to tell you. I removed it so they couldn't take off with the artifacts. That's a great idea. Where is it? Out there. That's a bad idea. They're getting away! That was close. Bravo. Well done, MacGyver. I knew you'd get us out of that mess. I always said you're my brightest student. I'm sorry. You've every right to be angry with me. I was wrong. I was foolish to think that I could control Cleeve. You almost got us killed! You must believe me. I never meant any harm to come to you or Kelly. The truth is, I was frightened. I'd lost my position at the academy. I was desperate. I mean, this is my last chance. I couldn't bear the thought of losing it. I thought you hated treasure hunters like Cleeve. I do. But finding the Treasure of Atlantis means more than wealth. It would prove that Atlantis really did exist and there were times when people didn't live by war and conquest, but worshiped peace and knowledge. And if we were like that once, maybe we can be like that again. It's a nice dream. I'm convinced that it can become a reality. It's a wonderful dream, professor. But did it ever occur to you that Cleeve might have other plans for the treasure? Do you think he and Zavros will come after us? Yes. Yes, I do. The Tower of Fear. The Treasure of Atlantis lies somewhere in that crater. Looks inviting. The last time they had a major eruption, it destroyed half the island, along with Atlantis. Beautiful. Simon? Simon! Oh, God, no. This is Cleeve's doing. He has a concussion, possibly a subdural hematoma. I can do more when we get him to a hospital in Athens, but he's too weak to move. All I can do now is make him comfortable. Well, don't worry. I'll stay with him. (speaks in Greek) (speaks in Greek) Looks like he's going to be all right. And the doctor's going to stay with him until he's well enough to be moved. But all the maps and the charts of the volcano have gone. Damn. Cleeve and Zavros are probably in the crater by now. Tonight the planets align, and they'll steal the treasure. And it's all my fault. I wish I'd never heard of Atlantis. That's weird. What? The lid. It's not magnetic. How can that be? Well, I don't know. W-what are you doing? Trust me, professor, trust me. It's platinum. That's why it's not magnetic. I've never seen markings like this before. It can mean only one thing. It must be a page from the Book of Atlantis, hidden there by Solon himself. Kelly, can you take us into the crater? Yes. If we leave now, we can make it before sunset. Come on. Well, it looks like it was a temple. Strange place for one. Great place to hide a treasure though. Well, if there was an entrance, it's long since been destroyed. Here. Let's clear it. In ya go, MacGyver. MacGyver. Did you find anything? Oh, yeah. Bigtime. Incredible. Look familiar? A Copernican model of the solar system. Built thousands of years before Copernicus was born. The planets must be orbiting closer to the alignment. The gravitational shift of the alignment's making the volcano unstable. I hate when that happens. Solon said, "Enter the Gates of Hades." Well, what are we waiting for? Ah! Poor devil. What triggered it? Do you think it's Cleeve? Fortunately, not. You all remember General Zavros, my ex-associate. You terminate all your partnerships like this? On the contrary. General Zavros did it to himself. As you can see, greed, heedless of caution, is a highly combustible mixture. I, on the other hand, am a very cautious fellow. So I waited for you to arrive to show us a way past this... impediment. Why should we help you? Because the length of your lives is directly proportionate to how useful you are to me. MacGyver, there must be a way we can de-activate this fire. Well, I suggest you find it... quickly. Maybe the answer's in the first line of Solon's riddle. What do you think? "The gods march in r-- Rank." Yeah. That one. Kelly, you wanna hand me that platinum page? It's a key. Mercury... Venus... Earth... the moon... Well done, MacGyver. Now I see why you were Atticus' favorite student. But what's this red crystal? Perhaps it's a star. We're not here to discuss astronomy. After you, MacGyver. Keep moving! MacGyver. It's wonderful. It's remarkable. Tremendous. Look, at long last. The Temple of Ages! This statue's extraordinary. I've never seen anything like it. I don't think it's a statue. You're right. I believe we have discovered Solon himself. He must have been caught in a volcanic eruption, and covered in hot ash. Like the bodies at Pompeii. He's hanging on to something here. It's the platinum book. Yes, like the page we found inside the Ark. Yes, well I think I'd better hold onto that. Might just help defray some of my traveling expenses. Look! The gods march in rank. The riddle says when the planets are aligned, we'll find the Treasure of Atlantis. Where is it? The red crystal. The one in the observatory? We forgot the second line of the riddle. "Hecate races in the heavens." The planets alone isn't enough to reveal the treasure. It takes something more. Hecate has to appear. Who the devil's Hecate? A demon of the night who rides a chariot of fire. There she is. A meteor shower. Unless I miss my guess, the extra gravity oughta do it. The Temple. Where's the treasure? Where is it? Professor. I'm coming. What's the line in the riddle about, uh, the ancients and the Book. "The Book shall summon up the power of the ancient ones." The Book shall summon the power. The Book. Give me the Book. You want the treasure, give me the Book. These aren't book pages. But what else could they be? They're punch cards. It must be an ancient... It's a computer, and these cards program it. Kelly, slide these in where the symbols match. Professor, let me see the Torch. Here. But how does it run? A computer needs electricity. Maybe not. The people of Atlantis tapped into the volcano for power. They used geothermal technology. You mean this thing runs on heat? No. Steam. Look! Treasure chests. Stay back. It's nothing but paper. Worthless scrolls. Where's the treasure? I think you're looking at it. That's right. Solon himself said the Treasure of Atlantis has the power to command men's minds. Of course, books. No. It can't be true. The Treasure of Atlantis... is knowledge. There has to be more. No! You're destroying the scrolls! Get away you stupid old fool. I want treasure. We gotta go. But all this knowledge. We can't let it be destroyed. Kelly, come on! Come on, Kelly! Forget that. Well, that's our only way out. Maybe we can tap into a little geothermal power of our own. Geothermal power? Professor. Yes? Stuff your jacket into one of those pipes. Put a rock on top of it. Kelly, stand by the Torch. Well, whatever you've got in mind, MacGyver, hurry. Stand back, professor. All right, Kelly, hit it. Shut it off, Kelly. All right, come up here. Professor, mind the Torch. You all right with this? Yeah. Hang on. Hit it. All right, stop it. All right, professor. Your turn. Come on. Top rope. Hang on. Oh, blast. Hold on, MacGyver. Pull it, Kelly. Pull! Come on. Come on. Thanks. Oh. Let's go. Thousands of years ago, before time itself was measured, as we know it, there... was... Atlantis. It was a great city, dedicated to art and science. And the people of Atlantis lived in high-rise buildings, and had indoor plumbing. They also invented geothermal technology, and there are even more important lessons to learn from Atlantis. Now then, what are they? Yes, Brian. They created democracy. Very good. Yes. Another. Taylor. They abolished slavery. Excellent, excellent. Liam. There were no executions. Yes, that's true. Joanna. Men and women were treated as equals. That's right, that's right. At the back, Sam. They believed in peace, not war. Absolutely right. Now can you tell me, what was the Treasure of Atlantis? Knowledge. I can't hear you. Knowledge. I still can't hear you. Knowledge! Absolutely correct. Knowledge. You are all my brightest students. All right, come here. Stand right here. There. Tell me you don't hear it. I don't hear it. Wait a second. Okay, now. You don't hear that? I don't hear it. It's humming. Seth-chan! Don't think you can do stuff just 'cause you got her all alone! Esther is injured, you know! As if I would ever- Well, I'm off! Esther... Does your injury hurt anymore? No. I see... Esther! Want to see the view outside? Yes! They think that they'll see flowers if only they give water But the harvest season's over the time has past Here in the dark I'm sitting' The answer that soon I'm getting' How do I know where it comes from? Just want to feel safe with you Now let me hear your voice just for once 'Cause you've mixed all my bits You've grabbed all my soul You've taken everything over Now let me hear your voice just for once You know you can make me smile You can make me cry and take me out from these nights of longing It's so beautiful... What are the buildings on that mountain? Oh, that's Sarai. The palace where the New Human Empire's mother and empress lives. All of that? ! Her Majesty is the very embodiment of the mpire. Terrans, Methuselah's, and all of the Empire follow her lead. Education isn't limited by birth or wealth, as it is in the Outer World. Terrans and Methuselah's are all equal before Her Majesty. Equal... The two races coexist before Her Majesty's absoluteness. That is why the Empire is so prosperous and peaceful. But what if something ever happened to the empress? If anything ever happened... it would spell the end of everything. Esther! Are you hungry? You haven't eaten for an entire day... Oh, now that you mention it... Let us go buy something to eat! Where could that Seth girl have wandered off to? ! Honestly! Who's there? ! Looks like you've completely recovered, Ion. R-Radu? ! Nice to see you again, Ion. Impossible... You're supposed to be dead! Dead? Don't be silly. Then how could I possibly be standing here? Have you set me up yet again? ! You've already killed my grandmother and framed me for it... Is that how much you hate me? ! Don't flatter yourself. I couldn't care less about a spoiled kid like you. You're simply a diversion to lure away the palace's eyes. What? ! Let me fill you in on a little secret. We're going to kill the empress. What did you say? ! You're going to kill Her Majesty? ! Do you seriously think you can do anything that absurd? ! Is killing the empress really that absurd? We're going to destroy those detestable Outer Terrans and become the rulers of this planet. I won't let anyone stop us from attaining our rightful place. No, not even you, Ion! All eyes at the palace are on you at the moment. I thank you, tovaras. Damn you... Are you that concerned for Esther? Looks like I guessed right. But are you sure it's wise, Ion? She's not only a Terran, but a member of the Vatican. So what if she is? ! My point is, do you really want to be betrayed yet again? How do you think I predict every single move you make? Are you saying Esther is betraying me? ! What rubbish! She's been hiding something very important from you, you know. Her family was murdered by a Methuselah. Her family... was murdered? Ah. I guess you really didn't know, tovaras. That... can't be... How odd that she never told you about something so important... Who knows, maybe she harbors a grudge against you, too. Or perhaps- He got away! Your Lordship! Are you all right? ! Watch Esther! She's in the backroom of the building on that hill! Understood! Are you all right, Count? You've been seriously wounded... This is nothing at all. It will quickly heal. But how did you find me? An odd message was thrown my way as I returned from the palace. Thrown? By whom? No idea. What's wrong? They... and Radu... plan to kill Her Majesty! What? ! Esther-san! Esther-san! Say something! Father... Are you all right, Esther-san? ! Don't worry, the count is all right! There was another girl here, named Seth! W-what is this? This light is a mausoleuma grave- for all Methuselah's. This island is a place for remembering the deceased. Friends and family of the departed gather and reminisce for a night. That is how funerals are in the Empire. It must be difficult for him... Being unable to attend his grandmother's funeral... Your Lordship... Whew, security sure has gotten tight! What a pain! Duchess! Do you know where Radu is? ! No idea. But if he's going to target Her Majesty, it would most likely be during tonight's funeral... He will come! There's no question about it! I'll go do my rounds again. Don't worry! I won't let him assassinate anyone! Esther! Yes? ! The count is in your hands. I'm coming with you! No! You're the murderer the whole empire is out looking for! Well, then. I will go and prepare your dinner now. The count was really depressed. Do you suppose he feels responsible? Is this really a good idea? Is what? Well, the count, he most likely thinks of her as- Yes, he seems to like her! And you don't care? ! Is there something wrong with that? Asta-san! Hold on! Wait for me! I should've minded my own business! Your Lordship? Where are you going? To find Radu. You mustn't! Out of my way, Terran! Why are you so adamant? ! Eh? Is there something wrong with me finding Radu and keeping him from assassinating Her Majesty? ! Your Lordship! Are you suggesting I want the empress to be assassinated? ! I'm just... I'm just some deplorable, blood-starved monster to you, anyway! That's not true! I've never once thought of you as a monster! Then why didn't you tell me about your family? ! I hear your family was murdered by a Methuselah. And that you dirtied your own hands exacting revenge on him! It's not like that! That was- That was... Back then, I... So it's true... Your Lordship... Your Lordship! Your Lordship! How did things turn out this way? Your Lordship! Your Lordship! What do I do? Your Lordship! Your Lordship! Is that- Your- What a dilemma. I never expected you to come all the way out here... Stay quiet, okay? I'll let go. Seth-chan! What on earth are you doing, dressed like that? ! Shh! This is the Moldova family mausoleum. The Duchess of Moldova's funeral is about to take place. In the presence of the empress. Are we ready, Baron of Luxor? Everything is set. It's enough to take out the entire mausoleum itself. We just need to retile it now. The time has finally come... Tonight, we will be freed from her spell! Her rule has been disastorous for the empire Her desire for peace has held us back Only domination and subordination exists between us and Terrans. Coexistence is but a fantasy. We must take back the future of our race. Even if that means- Who's there? ! Run! Those moves... Are you one of us? ! Seth-chan! I'll be fine! Just hurry and tell the Duchess of Kiev! R-right! Impertinent girl! Will Seth-chan be all right? So long, girl. Hurry to the port. Make the final arrangements before pests arrive. As you wish. I know this will not remain forever However, it's beautiful Your eyes, hands, and your warm smile They're my treasure It's hard to forget I wish there was a solution Don't spend your time in confusion I'll turn back now and spread My broken wings still strong enough to cross the ocean with My broken wing show far should I go drifting in the wind Higher and higher in the light (My broken wings) Still strong enough to cross the ocean with My broken wing show far should I go drifting in the wind Across the sky, just keep on flying (What's falling from the sky is not rain... ) Next time"Episode 18: The Night Lords IV. The Palace of Jade" Let thine eyes be not diverted. =DS= 2006 Mr. Hawkins? It's Hal. Remember a few weeks ago, in the break room, when someone left the tin foil 2,2 00:00:05,653 -- 00:00:08,652 on their burrito and the microwave caught fire and the sprinklers went off 2,3 00:00:08,654 -- 00:00:12,998 and shorted out all the computers and we lost all our database for the last five years? Yeah, well, I just thought you might like to know who the "slack-jawed idiot" was. Dad, Dad, you need four apples, not three! You only won another lottery ticket! It was Phil in accounting. He feels just awful about it, and I wouldn't be too hard on him. His wife's a bit of a drinker, and she's not particularly faithful... Malcolm in the Middle - 6.08 - Lois Battles Jamie Synchronisation par Doyle Tyno, Script original par Raceman. I'm starving. I hope Mom has something decent for dinner. I saw her pulling baloney stew out of the freezer last night. Don't worry. I stuck a bloody Band-Aid in it before we left. Holy crap. Look at that! Cool! A diving board! Oh... my... God. This is the greatest thing ever. And someone just dumped it here for us to find. We've got to take it home! What are we gonna do with it? I don't know. But... look at it! It's... it's got the... and it's... up and... and bounce and... and bounce! He's right. We need it. One, two, three... go! One, two, three... go! One, two, three, go! One, two, three, go! Aah, Jamie, this is ridiculous! You'll eat dead bugs out of the zapper, for God's sake, why won't you eat your peas? You love peas! Come on. This is name-brand stuff. It's three times the price of the food I eat! If you want to breathe, you have to open your mouth. See? There's no reason for... Now you're just going to have to eat some eyebrow, too. Hi, honey. Didn't you have the same fight with him at breakfast? This is the same fight as breakfast. It's the same jar of peas and it's the same stubborn little boy who is not gonna get his own way. That baby thinks he is gonna break me, but he doesn't know who he's dealing with. Hal, I'm not about to lose it with a... God, how does he do that? One, two, three, go! Please, we have to stop. I have to empty the blood out of my shoes again. One last time. One, two, three, go! This is gonna be so great! This is the answer. What's the question? I don't know yet, but this is definitely the answer. Would you look at this? Jamie poured flour in the dryer. Now I get to wear a loaf of bread to work tomorrow. He destroys everything! He's absolutely the worst kid we have ever had! Oh, you say that with every kid. Let's face it, Lois. It's just the hand we were dealt. God just doesn't like us. That doesn't make us bad people. No, there's something different with Jamie. He's not like the other ones. I'm telling you,I can see it in his eyes. Honey, calm down. You know what will make you feel better? You take a look at him while he's sleeping. You know how cute he is, with his tush all squished up in the air like that... Did you see him? See who? That-a-way! We're in lockdown! This door stays closed till you hear the all-clear call. The perimeter's sealed. He's not getting out this way. My jewelry box! Jamie, Mommy told you... All right, Jamie, you've had your fun. Now it's time to give that back to Mommy and go to sleep. Jamie... I asked you to give it to me! Would you look at this thing? It's amazing. We've got to come up with something really great to do with it. What if we tied mattresses to ourselves and jumped off it? Nah. We could do that off the roof. We could launch mannequins into the Prestons' Jacuzzi. Uh-uh. It's not good enough. We could get a squirrel to dive off it into a cup of water. Not good enough. Not for her. Not this old beauty. Well, how about if we got a vat of Jell-O... No! It's not good enough! I got it! We take a dog, tie him to a bicycle... No! It's just not good enough! Mom's home early! You do not pinch, you do not poke, you do not bite, youdonotspit,youdonot eye-gouge, you do not vomit intentionally on other babies! A lifetime ban from Gymboree! A lifetime ban! I can't believe it. She didn't even see the board. This is a sign we were meant to have this. We were meant to do something really, really great with you. It'll come. We just have to be patient. No! This is Mommy's purse! You can't have it! Please, it's the only thing in the house that's Mommy's! Lois... Well, he has a million toys. Why does he only want to take my things? Honey, honey, you're taking this too personally. He doesn't understand what he's doing. He's just a baby. Look, if you just give it to him for just a couple of minutes, he'll get tired of it. You're right. I guess I was just feeling that if I gave in to him, he'd see it as a sign of weakness. - I'm going to stop this right now. - Yeah. Here, sweetie. Mommy's purse. You can have that for five minutes, okay? I thought you said he wasn't eating anything. It's mocking us. It's a ten-foot-tall springboard that we got for free, and we can't think of a single thing that's good enough to do with it! I bet it belonged to some other family that went crazy because they couldn't come up with anything to do with it. They probably just sat around, staring at it for months, until they finally snapped and started eating each other. Damn it, we're better than this! I know we are! Remember that squashed groundhog we found on the highway? We came up with a hundred things to do with that, from the horrible to the beautiful! I miss Flatty. Maybe we're just going about this the wrong way. We have to think outside the box. If you were a diving board, what would you want someone to do with you? Take me ice-skating. Don't be an idiot. That place is freezing, and it's always so crowded. Yeah, but they have good hot dogs. Those hot dogs suck compared to the ones at the train station. Why would a diving board want to go to a train station? How should I know? Maybe he wants to visit a relative. Okay! Okay! Back in the box. Jamie doesn't have to eat his peas anymore. He can eat whatever he wants because Mommy surrenders. Mommy has a tiny pony for Jamie who wants to hug him and give him yummy candy corn... Mmm, I'm delicious! Is there a big boy who could eat me? Gotcha, you little... Jamie tries to kill Mom, and we're the ones who have to clean it up. You want to tell me how that's fair? You gotta give that kid some credit. It's the closest any of us actually ever came. Yeah. Jamie wasn't really spawned by Satan, was he? No. If he was, we'd have a way better house. You're the one, Jamie. Show me the way! There's a lot of things I can handle. A lot of things I've managed to survive. I'd even say I've thrived where others would have just thrown in the towel. Yes, honey, you certainly have. Now relax, and let the bubbles do their work. Soothing. - Sooth... - Dad, we finish... I told you to stay the hell away from this bathroom until I said so! This is a child-free zone until further notice! Soothing... soothing... You know what, Hal? I'm done. I give up. What are you talking about? Jamie wins. He beat me. All those years, all those terrible things those kids have done. It doesn't make me stronger, it's just worn me down. Like termites eating away at a house, until all that's holding up is paint. I'm just paint, Hal. Jamie knows it. You'll do a better job than I can. I trust you. No, no, no. No-no-no-no-no-no! You can't leave me alone with those kids! We had a deal, Lois! You are in charge of the spiritual and emotional development, discipline and scary injuries. I kill spiders, mark their heights on the door frames and supply car snacks. You walk out now and the whole system falls apart! I can't do it, Hal. I don't want to. I just don't have it anymore. I mean, it's normal, right? People give up, they quit... Lois, you listen to me. No one is as good as you are. You took those vicious little fiends, and you twisted and crushed them into submission. And you didn't do it because you had to. You did it because you loved the game, and it was beautiful! I just don't have that anymore. Honey, yes, you do. I know you do. You just lost your way a little. You just need to think. Think back to the first time you found that spark. There's got to be some way to remember. And I'm going to help you. So, here I am. Dad said you needed some help on something? Francis, your father and I are trying to remember something, and we really need your help. We'd like you to think back to your earliest memories. What's this all about? Mind your own business. Just do it, will ya? You've got to be kidding me. My childhood was a nightmare! I've spent the rest of my life trying to board up that haunted house. Francis, this is important. I really need to remember something, and I don't know what it is. - But... - Please. You're the only one who can help me. My earliest memories... It's kind of vague. I remember we had that apartment... I remember it being really colorful. Come on, Francis, honey. Please, won't you eat anything? We've tried the carrots, and the peaches, and the oatmeal, the apples, huh? Don't you like anything? Lois! Would you like to know what your son did to my director's cut of The Eyes of Laura Mars? He also shaved a hole in the carpet with my new Norelco! I'm sorry, Hal. I asked him very nicely not to play with it, but he just wouldn't listen. I can't get him to do anything. I've read Dr. Spock and Piaget and Eisenberg, and The Language of Hugs, all these books, nothing's helping. What he needs is a little discipline. I think he'd behave better if he just ate something. Look at him. He's just wasting away. I'm going to give him another Hershey bar. Lois, no! You can't keep coddling him like this! I am sick and tired of always having to be the bad cop because you're constantly giving in to him. Okay, Hal, I'll try. You keep saying that, and then you do it again! I'm going to be tougher with him. I promise. Huh. It's weird. I just have this vague feeling of you actually being a good mother. I hate you! I hate you, I hate you! I hate you! Reese, this is crazy. You've been staring at that damn thing for four days. We're getting rid of it. No! Wait! I finally have an idea. What is it? I'll have it in a second! Just wait! It's over, Reese. Once the board's gone, things should go back to normal. Did you know that the Newmans put a statue of a naked guy on their front lawn a week ago? We should be ashamed of ourselves. No! We are not getting rid of this! Reese, what is the big deal? What is so special about this board? I think it's my last time. Last time for what? For anything stupid and reckless and fun. Maybe it's because I'm almost 18 now, but lately I've been hearing this voice in my head that says, "That's dangerous, that's stupid. You're gonna hurt yourself." And the old voice, the one that says, "This is fun. Do it anyways. They'll figure out how to save you." It just gets quieter and quieter. Pretty soon I won't be able to hear it at all. But before it dies, I want to say good-bye to it the right way. We'll give it the best send-off any crazy voice could ever ask for. I'd do it for mine. ...and then, right around the time I was starting to walk, there was some kind of... Ah... I don't know. Let's stop. I want to stop. Honey, please, keep going. You can't stop now. No, I don't want to. We've been sitting here for five hours. Why are we doing this, anyway? Francis, please. I think we're really close. Just one more time. Well... I kind of remember that Frisbee game we used to play... Okay, honey. Maybe we'll eat later. Lois, did you see what he did in there? He used my tennis racket to smash my camera and all my lenses to bits! I still had film in it from the Us Festival! Where is he? Hal, it's not his fault! I'm pretty sure he's working through a limitation-anxiety phase. All the literature says this is the age where he's trying... You cannot undermine me every time I try to discipline him! I can't help it. He's so small, and helpless... I can't take any more of this! It is tearing our marriage apart! For his own good, you have got to buckle down! Do you understand me, Lois? You have to find some way to be this boy's mother! Hello, Dr. Sachs? It's Lois again. I know I just called, but... my husband yelled at me again about being stricter with Francis, and I wanted to know if you could write me a note that says yelling at him could damage his psyche? It's such a tender time for Francis. He's so fragile and unformed and I just want to make sure I get it right, but everything I do feels wrong. If this is all supposed to be so natural, why can't I get this? I love him so much and I want to be a good mother and I know I have to be stronger, but I just don't think I can look in his eyes and not give him what he wants. He has such a sweet little face and he's so innocent. I'm going to have to call you back. Fire... is... dangerous. Fire can hurt you. Fire can kill you. I will not let that happen. Let me make one thing clear. I love you, and I will do whatever I have to to take care of you, and keep you safe and happy and alive. I don't care if you grow up to hate me, but you will understand this: I will... do... anything. That is how much I love you. Yes. That's right. It's coming back to me; that sense of strength and power, and purpose... I finally knew who I was, and what I was born to be. Honey, you're back! I knew you could do it! Mr. Fuzzles! Thank you, Francis. You can go now. What? What is it? We've got something for you. Dewey and I finally came up with something good enough for that insane voice in your head. -Here, put this on first. -Roman candles? Well, that's how they started off. We decided to give 'em a little more... oomph. Do you care if you keep your eyebrows? -Hell, no! Okay, the fuse is timed for 20 seconds. You're gonna light it, and then get up on the board and jump. The rockets should kick in around there. They won't give you any momentum, but they will ignite that. Hopefully, you will land in that kiddie pool. We think that's got a 50-50 shot of putting you out. If the roof doesn't collapse. Or ignite. And it's all gonna be caught on that video camera. This is more than anything I could have ever asked for. Nobody deserves it more than you. Should I get the hose? Not yet. He would've wanted us to wait. Good boy. You finished all your peas! Hey, slugger. Guess what. The clinic called. They said my ass was a perfect match for your hand. They can start the skin grafts next week. Reese, what do you think you're doing? -What? He loves the stuff. He goes through three or four cans a day. I don't know how he does it. Half a can makes me nuts. Based on true events - Well done, Casper. - Let me have a go. - Happy with the flat? - Yes, two floors. I love it. One floor is Mia's, the other is mine. - Splash, Frank! The champ. - I'm off. - Where to? - Some sort of lunch at the Gimp's. - No change in Bodil? - No, she's a wreck. - What's wrong with Bodil? - She's suffered brain damage. - Up here? - In the brain, yes. Surprise. - How did it happen? - She choked on a giant olive. - This big. Stuck in her throat. - She's a vegetable. The Gimp has to feed her three times a day. He has to wipe her. She shits like crazy. Well, she does. Diapers don't come in "size Bodil". She needs a double diaper. - I'm off. - Give her my best. You don't get it, Claire. Bodil is..! You can't get through. She ate a fruit and turned into a vegetable. - An olive isn't a fruit. It's a nut. - No, an olive is a fruit. - Anything above ground is a fruit. - Chestnuts aren't fruit. - Yes. - No, they're nuts. - Nuts are fruit. - No, they aren't. Yes, they are. Glad we got that straightened out. - There's more if you... - Thank you. Oh no, Bodil... - The meat balls are good. - It's Bodil's recipe. But I bought the peas. - I'm going to put Bodil in a home. - What a good idea. - This Friday, already. - I think that's a wise decision. - You can't cope with this. - No, it's pointless. - You can help move her there. - Of course. One wiener, one frankfurter and one with bacon. - Why didn't you eat any lunch? - Bodil turns me off food. The mentally handicapped turn me off food. One or two rolls? Lots of people feel that way. When I have handicapped customers, they scare all the others away. - They need to eat too. - But does it have to be when we eat? - She'll be fine there. - The Gimp needs to get rid of her. He can't bring girls home with her sitting there. He had sex with her the other day and she just lay there. He didn't know if she enjoyed it. Technically, he could be raping her. Scary thought. It sure makes you appreciate what you've got, honey. - Appreciate your own good sex life. - We've got no complaints. Good God, no. I think if we take all of Copenhagen we're in the top five percent. Honestly, honey, is there anything I could do better? Well, maybe just in the oral department. - Do I give you bad oral sex? - I didn't say that. Sometimes it's just a bit monotonous. Just a tiny bit dull. Hi, Claire. Frank, come here. Have a look. - Frank! - Marvelous. - Look at this. It's a Torben Din. - Very nice. - 25,000 kroner. It's a steal. - It is? - Yes, it's worth at least 30-40,000. - I have to go help out the Gimp. - He's putting Bodil in a home. - Well, good for him. You just can't eat a thing around a mentally handicapped person. - He's skin and bone. - Why can't he eat? - You can't eat around those people. - Why not? It turns you off food when fellow human beings are barmy. I've never heard that before. - You haven't? - No. - Mia said I was speaking for myself. - I've never heard anyone think that. I shagged a handicapped girl once. I shagged a retard. - But you can't. A real retard? - A retarded woman in her thirties. I didn't notice she was retarded so we went back to her parents' place. I overlooked certain telltale signs. "It's okay with my mum and dad." The Bambi poster in her room. Anyway, don't tell anyone. People have a hard time with it. And sex! Imagine the uproar. I didn't know, and the sex was fine. - The sex was fine? Very interesting. - Her boobs weren't retarded, okay? I prefer a retard with good boobs over a bright girl with stupid boobs. That's where you eat and sing and read and so on. - Nice, isn't? - Indeed. WELCOME BODIL The room needs to be furnished, but... Look. Your idea? Super. What a nice... square room. I'd like a moment alone with Bodil. - Hello. - Hello. - Do you like it? - Yes. - I painted it. - Isn't that nice? - I painted it with my mouth. - You painted that with your mouth? - Yes. - How very impressive. - Would you like to buy it? - Do you want to sell it to me? - Yes. - How much? 1,000 kroner. That's the best 1,000 kroner I've ever spent. My colleague is a quite the art expert. He'll be very impressed. - Hi, Frank. - Well? - It's mouth painted. - But why? I bought it from a crippled lady who paints with her mouth. Impressive. - But still, it's a shitty painting. - I think it's very... mouthy. - But impressive, eh? - "Mouthy", you said it! - I'm happy. - But you can't hang it anywhere. The office. You've got that... It's not really office material. We have people coming by and... I'm at a stage in my life where I'm fascinated by the orally competent. - Why? - Mia says my technique is dull. - She says you give bad head? - That's another way to put it. I'm like a fiery Arab, and you're more the dray horse. You toss your long tongue into her beaver. That's you, Frank. I'm a wild horse. That's what makes us such a great team. - It's so unfair. - What? - It's boring, but I give it my all. - The idea is for her to get off. - Why don't you lick the alphabet? - Why? So she thinks I'm clever? Haven't you ever licked the alphabet? First you lick an A, then a B, C... The variation really turns them on. Everybody does it. - You never have? - Never. - Nicolaj Kopernikus taught me. - Does he even know the alphabet? He told me he'd gotten complaints, so he'd adopted that technique. - Thanks. - Cheers. - Are we going to the office? - Yes, but... One, two... I can't drive. Will you give me a lift? We have to stop by the home and pick up the Gimp. - You have to meet the mouth painter. - Right. But you're using your hand. Listen... The picture you sold me, you painted with your mouth, right? No. - I don't want it then. - You bought it fair and square. But you said it was mouth painted, when really it was hand painted... - Calm down. - Please get him out. - I want my money back. - No, let's go. Oh yes! I'll just take your blanket then. - Frank, everyone's napping. - Off we go. - What's this? - The mouth painter's blanket. - It's a bedspread, Frank. - Why are you taking her blanket? - Anything this thick is a blanket. - It's too coarse to be a blanket. - There's a bedspread and a blanket. - Give me back my blanket. - I need something to bargain with. - Look, I'll give you 1,000 for this. - Come on, she's a pensioner... - It's a matter of principle. What an old con artist. The nerve! We're helping a brain dead woman, all focused on that, and old Granny Grab-All is just waiting for some sucker. - She's just an old woman. - I'm going to call my lawyer. - Isn't that a bit extreme? - Not the slightest. Fraud is a legal matter. Always has been. Good night. What about the mouth thing we'd talked about? - Mouth thing? - I want to show off my new skills. - Not right now. - Go to sleep and I'll go to work. - Can't we just... - Okay, I'll back off. Sleep tight. - I'm not ready for the tournament. - You sure aren't. - Did you give Mia head then? - You're disrupting my swing! It just occurred to me. Try it out. If it works, I've got another trick. - Just a little one. - Could you open the door a little? Well put! It's all about opening the door and ringing the bell. - Isn't that Mia's brother? - Mads? Yes. - Hi, Mads. - Hi. - Nice guy. - Yes, and one hell of a lawyer. - Hi. How was your swing? - Fine. I just bought a painting marketed as being mouth painted. Later I find out it's not. I've been conned. - What are my options? - Just drop it, right? - I'd say so too. - Aren't there any legal measures? - I'll look into it. - I'll treat you to dinner. Oysters? - Oysters are just fine. Call me. - This weekend. Mia's got a bag. - Mia hasn't got a bag of oysters. - I didn't buy them. - You get them in a basket. - You don't catch them in a basket. No, but you sell oysters in a basket and clams in a net. You're confusing them with shrimp. Way to go! - Good morning. - My, fresh rolls and everything. - Thanks for a great night. - Well, thank you. You were great. It was mind-blowing, Frank. - Yes, I performed my magic. - I've never felt anything like it. When you told me flat out, I was hurt, I have to admit. - But Casper knew this little trick. - You talked to Casper about it? Yes. Don't fret. I just lick the alphabet. A, B, C... Nothing wrong with that, is there? No, but... I thought you were thinking about me. I thought about a letter, then you, and then a new letter. Don't discuss such matters with him. I didn't say I was going to lick you. Just licking in general. Of course I was going to lick you, but your name wasn't mentioned. - All right. - Let's go home. Well done. - Hi, Mads. - Peter, isn't it? - Good game? - Fine. Frank, I looked into that matter. Judging by what you told me, the woman sold you that picture with intent to defraud. The law clearly states that any transaction is invalid if the seller had fraudulent intentions. She knew you thought the picture was mouth and not hand-painted. When you reveal the fraud, the sale is invalid. - You can demand your money back. - I'm going to the car. Bye. Anyway... If you want to, you can sue her. - Just say the word. I'm off. - Okay, Mads. - See you. - Bye, Mads. - Why didn't he put on his trunks? - What's he up to? - What a nasty habit. - You had his pecker in your face. Swinging from side to side. It almost hypnotised me. - I always put on my trunks first. - You owe it to your fellow man. Trunks, T-shirt, tie, socks... - I'm buying. - Very well. - It's good to see you happy again. - I love being back at work. It's done you a world of good. Nursing Bodil was a full-time job. - It runs you down. - They take good care of her. Gather all the retards in one place so we don't have to look at them. It's better to put them in a home, so we don't have to look at them. - It's gross to watch cretins eat. - Why do you say that? Frank and I discussed it the other day. What have we got here? - Delicious. - Congratulations on your new home. - Is the bathroom finished? - More or less. Want to see it? Yes, please. Casper keeps raving about it. - Very nice, Frank. - Giant oysters are the best. - Some of them were humongous. - Big oysters. " 15,000 kroner for legal assistance." Okay. - For what? - That matter with the mouth painter. - Fine. You want the money up front? - No. We talked about it the locker room. I thoroughly explained your options according to the law. I'm afraid you're going to have to tell me again. I didn't hear it. - Weren't you listening? - I didn't hear a word. Bloody hell, Frank. Casper, you were there. I remember you standing there... I couldn't quite concentrate because you weren't wearing any trousers. - So... - You're making me feel ill at ease. There I was explaining things and you just stared at my crotch. - You were very close to me. - We're all guys in the locker room. Mads told me how to deal with the mouth painter, in the locker room. I had his pecker in my face so I didn't hear a word. Oh, come on. I quietly told you what to do... Save it for the locker room, please. I'm going to take this and leave. Nice to see you. - Give me the bill, Mads. - No, I can't deal with this. - You have a strange way of dressing. - See you, Sis. I'll see myself out. Locker rooms abound in peckers. - He positioned himself oddly. - You're such a prude. Christ, it's not really that bad. - I rather like it. - It's sweet. But it's not art. It's crap. Artistically, it's a piece of crap. - It is bad. - But not for an old lady. Still, do we want to buy it or burn it? You're such a snob, Casper. Because a handicapped person painted it, you think it's crap. - I think it's crap because it is. - Only because a handicapped... I've got nothing against handicapped people. I like them. - Sometimes your view of people... - I've got nothing against retards. Not the slightest. Casper even shagged a retard. You've been with a retard? Casper, have you? - Yes, but it was before your time. - I don't care when it was. Jesus Christ, you always think with your prick! At least I don't give monotonous head. - Only because you lick the alphabet. - He what? He licks the alphabet to fight the monotony. A, B, C... Bon appetit, Frank. - What is going on? - It's these two studs' latest thing. - You lick the alphabet? It's... - It's a bit gross. - How unromantic. You do that? - Casper taught Frank to do it. - I could've thought of it myself. - Look, buster! Don't discuss our sex life with him! I didn't. Then how does he know what you do? - I don't know... - I won't have it! - Let me finish... - No! You fuck retards and lick the alphabet, you jerk! - Please don't move your leg, Casper. - I thought you were handicapped. - I'm sorry about the retard. - That was a lousy thing to do. - Golf tomorrow? - You bet. It's nice and peaceful. All you hear is an... - What do you call that bird? - An elderly man blowing his hands. Fore! It landed near hole 6. - Did I hit that family? - They shouldn't bring the pram here. Go, go, go! We're in for it. Take it easy. - So Davis was wrong after all? - Well, I never did believe him. And only a few yards from where he thought the tomb was. - That's right. - Well, you deserve it, Monsieur Carter. I shall come and inspect the tomb tomorrow. This is a most excellent day for our department and for the country. I shall arrange storage facilities at the Cairo Museum. No. It's far too early to involve the museum. Whatever we do, nothing must be rushed. These things are precious. I understand. All care will be taken. I'm putting together a team of experts. I've already contacted the Metropolitan Museum as well as our own British specialists. This is a huge task. Please do not forget there are national interests to be considered. That may be so but this must be preserved for all posterity. That is far more important than the concerns of any single nation. And as His Lordship's field director, I intend to ensure that the correct procedures are followed at all times. I hope that's clear. This is an Egyptian tomb, Monsieur Carter. - Good morning. - Good morning. Follow me. And if I may remind you, please don't touch the walls or any of the objects inside the tomb. Oh! Extraordinaire. Quite extraordinary. I do congratulate you. Thank you. So, this is what, do you suppose? It would appear to be the first of one or more antechambers. As you can see, there's another small chamber through a hole near the floor here. Ah, oui. And at the far end, the entrance to the remainder of the tomb. - But you have not looked through? - Of course not. You are sure this is indeed a tomb and not just a cache? This is remarkable, but for a royal tomb it does seem quite small. I'm not sure of anything yet. Please don't touch. At least not until it's been photographed. I'm sorry. I'm glad to see that the instincts of the scholar have not been overtaken by those of the treasure hunter. I was never a treasure hunter, Monsieur Lacau. Very well, you may proceed. I shall leave my inspector, Monsieur Ibrahim Mohammed, to attend on my behalf. You'd be so kind as to give your reports to him. And please, let me know when you are ready to break through. Of course. I would also be most grateful if you would arrange for a steel gate with a lock to be placed at the entrance of the tomb. We do not want any tomb robbers, do we? NARRATOR: Tutankhamun's tomb was to bring to the world the story of a dark age in the history of ancient Egypt. After a time of revolution, a boy king had come to the throne. In Tutankhamun's name, Egyptians were promised a new beginning. Old monuments were rebuilt, traditional religion restored, and the new king was given a queen, his sister, Ankhesamun. In keeping with tradition, a site in the Valley of the Kings was selected for the pharaoh's burial, an event that was to come sooner than the young king could have imagined. Good afternoon, gentlemen. - Good afternoon. - Good afternoon, Howard. First of all, thank you all for coming. Now... as you can see, what we know about the tomb so far is limited. We have no idea what lies behind this wall and before we make an opening, I propose that each item in this chamber be individually numbered and annotated. Harry Burton will then take a photograph in situ. Sorry to drag you away from Italy, Harry. A brief description will then be made either by myself or by Arthur Mace, who has kindly agreed to join us from the Met. I wouldn't miss this one for anything. Then, and only then, will removal begin. This is where we need to be particularly careful, gentlemen, and that is why I have called upon Pecky Callender's engineering skills to help us with the dismantling of the larger objects. Once outside, everything will be brought here. I would ask you all to pay particular attention to any papyrus rolls that we might find. Now, I understand that they may not be as glamorous as many of the other objects, but their writings will tell us far more about who these people actually were. Alan Gardiner will be in charge of that material. Any idea how long you think all this will take? The rest of our lives, I should imagine. Why? No reason, just... The task before us is prodigious, gentlemen. There is no precedent for how we should proceed, but the world and future generations will not easily forgive us for our mistakes. Right you are. Off you go. (Speaking Arabic) (Yelling in Arabic) It's crowded enough in here as it is. Bloody man. Sooner or later he's going to make somebody drop something. Back, keep back. Come on, make way. Come on, move back. (People clamouring) Back! Come on, move! Keep back! Come on, move. Back! HOWARD: Get out of the way! Keep back and don't touch anything! - Adamson, get these people back! - Yes, sir. This is ridiculous, sir. They're all behaving as if this was some sort of bloody fairground attraction. Have you any idea how many people were here yesterday? 12,000. 12,000! I mean, where in God's name are they all coming from? It's making work quite impossible and it's only a matter of time before there's an accident. I think it's something we have to put up with, old man. The amount of interest this thing has generated is quite extraordinary. I've been giving interviews all morning. We're front page news, Howard. Hmm. Well, no one's spoken to me. If they had, I'd have told them to bugger off. Did I tell you His Majesty has asked me to Buck House for lunch to tell him all about it? What's this, do you suppose? It's a shabti figure. There should be a number on it. Ask Mace to look it up. Pretty, isn't it? (Sighing) Stop worrying, Howard. There's hundreds of them. And don't forget who's paying for all this. That's right, yes. I'm suggesting exclusive rights to it all. I'm sorry, can you speak up? No, I'm not going to sell them individually. One moment. - We do want the world, don't we? - Of course we do. And don't forget America. Yes, the world. And America as well. Yes, good. What? Oh, yes, splendid. That would be grand. Goodbye. Well, that should take pressure off Carter. - Did they say yes? - And at a very good price. Oh, Pops, you are clever. Howard will be so pleased. Let's have a drink. LACAU: It is outrageous. They are behaving as if they own this country. How dare they give exclusive rights to The Times? What about the Egyptian press? What about the rest of the world? They are colonialists. I don't care if they have an agreement. These things are for Egypt, not for the amusement of a British aristocrat. Yes, monsieur, I understand. Very well. As you wish. They say we must wait. Go back to the tomb and watch them. If they break the terms of the concession in any way whatsoever, call me immediately. The slightest infringement and we shall take control of the tomb. You understand? HOWARD: We've counted over 600 objects in this room alone. Everything has to be wrapped and protected. So far, we've used over half a mile of cotton wadding and 16 bales of calico, and we're only halfway through. - Good morning, gentlemen. - Good morning. - Good morning, Howard. - This is Harry Burton. If you need any photographs, speak to him. I won't allow any other photographers in here. Oh, my God. It's extraordinary. Carter, look at this. Oh, my God! Evelyn, come and see this. Oh, that's beautiful. Aren't they lovely? HOWARD: This must be his wife. She's anointing him with oil. CARNARVON: Now, mind your heads on the way in, it's rather low. Morning, Carter. How's it all going? We're very busy now. If you could just keep clear, I'll be with you when I can. Right, yes, of course. Shall we come back later? HOWARD: Yes. It is beautiful, isn't it? As soon as Tutankhamun was old enough, his queen was expected to produce a child. The future of Egypt depended on it. Without an heir, the empire could be flung into chaos on the death of the king. Incestuous marriage between royals might have made political sense, but producing a healthy child from a union between sister and brother was fraught with risk. Tutankhamun's queen, Ankhesamun, miscarried at least twice. But even dead babies were considered precious. They were of royal blood. Each was mummified for eventual burial with their father. ADAMSON: Would you make space? Go back, come on. Move out of the way there. Make space. Move out of the way. Come on. Make way. Make way there. Move out of the way. Come along now, make way, please. You down there, move. Move out of the way. You. Yes, you. Get out. This is private property, get off it now. Move! Who let him in here? Do you have any idea who that is? That's Vigol from The Daily Mail. All he's responsible for is stirring up trouble and writing malicious gossip like that bloody curse story. Communication with the press is only allowed with The Times. I will not tolerate any exceptions. Do I make myself clear? Yes. - Where are you going? - Home, Howard. I'm not a schoolboy. CARNARVON: Are you looking forward to the opening? Everything's ready. I've emptied it all out apart from the two guardian statues. - I thought they should stay. - Why not? You will cover up our little hole, won't you? I wouldn't want Lacau seeing that. I wish we could get rid of that bloody man. But we have to deal with him, we mustn't forget that. Try a little flattery. Always works with the froggies. You know you should never have signed that deal with The Times. It's only made matters worse. I thought it was what you wanted. I must say, it's been rather a good deal for me. Oh, did I tell you I was thinking of having a little cinema film made? No. No, I'm sorry, I can't allow that. - Allow what, Howard? - Nothing. Nothing. I was just leaving. Good night, sir. Good night, Evelyn. - I mentioned the idea of a film. - I told you he wouldn't like it. What Howard would or would not like is beginning to irritate me. First of all, the King congratulated me on our magnificent discovery and then the Queen, whom I sensed was somewhat less excited said, "But can it be quite right? "Breaking into a tomb and digging up a royal personage?" (Crowd chuckling) I say, Mace, I hope you're not falling victim to the curse of Tutankhamun? No, no, excuse me, I think I've been breathing in too much mummy dust over the years. Yes, well, I dare say we're all a little nervous about what we shall find when we knock through the wall behind me. So, first, I'd like to ask our chief excavator, and my field director, Mr Howard Carter, to say a few words. Howard. Morning, everyone. This is a great moment in my life. Already this tomb is the single biggest find in the history of archaeology in Egypt, and even if we find nothing more, it will enrich beyond measure our knowledge of what was once a forgotten but mighty culture. No one knows what lies behind this wall. It may be another antechamber, it may be empty. Or, if we're lucky, it may be a burial chamber with an intact royal tomb. If it is, I trust that we will respect the pharaoh who has lain in peace here for over 3,000 years and that he will forgive our intrusion made in the name of science, the only possible justification, and not, as some have suggested, in the name of profit. Whatever we find, I shall, of course, expect the same standards and procedures that I have employed in the clearance of this chamber to be maintained at all times. Let's open it up, shall we, Howard? You know there is a rumour that you and Carter have already broken in? Really? (Insect buzzing) Ali, hammer. Can you see anything? What do you see? I see a shrine of blue and gold. (Murmuring) It would seem to be an intact tomb, with a sarcophagus and a body. It would seem so, yes. Then you are aware of the rules of the concession? If intact, the government is entitled to deny to the excavator any claim to the objects recovered. I intend to enforce this condition. - That's outrageous. - One moment, Howard. I understand the rules perfectly, Monsieur Lacau, but a court of law might well disagree with your interpretation. The rules are notoriously badly written after all. Besides, although the tomb seems intact, we don't actually know that yet, do we? I suggest we leave things as they are until Howard's had a chance to open up the sarcophagus and see what's inside. Then we can decide what's best, don't you agree? Very well. Until the sarcophagus is opened. Now, steady. Take it easy, be careful on the steps. MACE: Carter. - What is it? - Look at this. Poor man. The more we go on, the sorrier I feel for him, you know. MAN: Careful! It looks like there are four of these shrine covers before we get to the sarcophagus. We still can't really work out how they ever got them in. Getting them out without damage is proving to be the devil's own job. Excuse me one moment. - So, can we repair this thing? - Well, I'd like to see what Lucas thinks. What's this? Oh... We found those yesterday in the treasury. Mace thinks they're almost full-term. The one on the left is a little girl. You can still make out some of the hair on her scalp. I think they're the saddest things I've ever found. HOWARD: I'm sorry. (Operatic music playing) - Mr Adamson. - Mr Carter. - You like Verdi? - Not particularly, sir. But I find he's more effective than any guard dog. The locals like him even less. A lot of men would be nervous about sleeping overnight in a tomb. Yeah, the dead are dead. I don't bother them and they don't bother me. Going well, sir? To be honest, I'm a little disappointed. Oh, yes, sir? I thought I'd found him. (Exhales deeply) Up to now, all I really found are things. Wonderful things, sir? Yes. But nothing written. No papyrus. If I went to your house, walked through each room, how much would I actually learn about you just from looking at your possessions? Not much, I think. But if I read your diary, came across some household bills, found letters that had been written to you, then, I think, I'd begin to understand who you really were. Well, I think my wife might have something to say about you wandering about her house and rummaging around, sir. Yes, I expect she might. Well, I'll say good night. Good night, sir. (Operatic music playing) Evening, Carter. Sorry, door was unlocked. Let myself in. I thought you'd be here sooner. - Helped myself to a drink. Hope you don't mind. - Of course not. What can I do for you? Why don't you pour yourself a drink first? What's the problem? I gather Hauser and Hall have resigned and are leaving? Yes, I believe so. With Gardiner, that makes a third of our team who've walked out. So? Gardiner's a personal friend of mine. He's one of the finest brains in England. He came here at his own expense as a personal favour to me. Hauser and Hall, as you well know, are here courtesy of the Metropolitan. I had a call this morning from New York. They want to know what's going on. Tell them that they chose to leave. They weren't working properly. That may be so, but these men gave our team international validity. - I can withstand Lacau if I can convince him... - Lacau is an incompetent meddler. Whose boss was previously imprisoned by the British. They will try anything to get rid of us. I will not have him in my tomb and that's final. It's not your tomb, Howard. It's mine. The point is, you're the best excavator in the world. Without you, this tomb would never have been discovered. Your achievement is unique. But your public relations skills are somewhat lacking, if I may say so. And unless we're very careful, I shall lose this tomb. - Are you questioning my leadership? - Not at all. But I would ask you to be more careful, both with members of our team and with Monsieur Lacau. I will not grovel to that bloody Frenchman. Where did that come from? It comes from the treasury. Mace asked me to have a look at it. Ask Evelyn. She was there. I don't think this has anything to do with my daughter. And frankly, I must tell you, I don't like your intimacy with her. - My intimacy? - Your feelings for her are quite inappropriate. You're old enough to be her father apart from anything else. What you mean is I'm not a gentleman. - Don't put words in my mouth. - But that's what you mean, isn't it? I think you should leave. I don't think you should come here again. Very well. For most of Tutankhamun's reign, the real power was wielded from behind the throne by a military council run by the young king's advisor, Ay. But when Tutankhamun reached the age of 18, he would have claimed his inheritance to rule Egypt as a divine pharaoh. The king's newfound power would not last long. In his tenth year on the throne, Tutankhamun died. Exactly why remains a mystery. Some believe he was murdered by his own advisors, or perhaps he just had an accident. Examination of his body using modern scientific techniques showed a leg injury which could have been fatally infected. Tutankhamun was still a teenager. And lift! Lift slowly, very slowly. (Workers speaking Arabic) Down, Pecky. Pecky, down. And tilt. Tilt it. Lift! All right, lower, lower, lower. Slowly. Go slowly. - Afternoon, Carter. Where have you been? - Packing. I have to go to Cairo. - Oh, yeah? - I've had a telegram. Carnarvon is ill. - Nothing serious I hope. - I rather think it is. Carter. Forgive me, I... I've been foolish. No. It was my fault that we argued. No. - There's something I want to say to you. - Please, don't tire yourself. My affection for you has never changed. You must believe that. I... I thought you might like to see this. It's part of a lamp that we found in the tomb. There were two cups, this is the inner, which when lit would cast its picture on the outer. It shows Tutankhamun and his queen. It's beautiful. Even I can tell it's the real thing. Tell Evelyn not to worry. I'm prepared. (Evelyn sobbing) For an Egyptian Pharaoh, death was not the end. It was a beginning. Tutankhamun now embarked on his most important journey into the underworld. There, he would be united with the gods and complete the cycle of resurrection and regeneration. But first, Tutankhamun's body must be preserved with salt. All of his internal organs except the heart and kidneys were removed. His brain was withdrawn through his nose and discarded, while other organs were preserved in an alabaster chest. Finally, Tutankhamun's mummified body was wrapped in bandages and placed within a series of golden coffins for transportation to the Valley of the Kings. Tutankhamun's young widow, Ankhesamun, had produced no heir, so the former advisor, Ay, now came to the throne. To cement his power, he married Tutankhamun's widow, probably another incestuous marriage. There is evidence that Ankhesamun was Ay's own granddaughter. What saddens me the most is that he won't be at my wedding. - Your wedding? - I'm engaged to be married. We haven't announced it yet. Father said it was an awful comedown for an earl's daughter to marry a mere baronet. He was joking of course. He didn't care about things like that. - Congratulations. - Thank you. Lady Carnarvon. The carriages are ready. Goodbye. This is for you. It's the terms of the concession. My husband was very keen that you continue with your work. He agreed with the government that you remain in charge of the clearance of the tomb, no matter whether it remain intact or not. - I won't let him down. - No. - Goodbye, Howard. - Goodbye. MACE: I think we're going to have to lift this frame up a couple of feet to get the right angle of leverage. Ali, Ali, can you give me the rope? - How's it going? - Good. If you're looking at the damage, don't blame us. They must have just banged it into position. They don't seem to have taken much care. It took us 12 hours to get the last one out. We should be able to restore it. When are you going to be ready in there? I don't know. There's a crack across the lid. They've filled it with gypsum. We're going to need angle irons and differential pulleys to lift it. Tutankhamun had died but his tomb was unfinished. Now a new site had to be found in a hurry. His body was probably placed in the tomb his chief advisor, Ay, had already built for himself. It was not designed for a king but it could be made ready in time. Tutankhamun's coffin was placed inside a stone sarcophagus at the centre of the burial chamber, to be surrounded by four gold-covered shrines, one within the next, each covered in sacred writings to protect the king on his journey. The small tomb was crammed with everything Tutankhamun would need in the afterlife. There were beds, chairs, couches, musical instruments, magical charms, chariots, jewellery, swords, daggers, shields, torches, cosmetics and boats to carry him on his long journey. Tutankhamun was not buried with the care one might expect for a king. The golden coffin was too big and part of it had to be sawn off to make way for the lid of the sarcophagus. Tutankhamun's final resting place was in a tomb built for a commoner, and assembled in a rush. Good. LACAU: Good afternoon, Monsieur Carter. Monsieur Lacau. Have you come for the opening of the sarcophagus? I have. - My only regret is that Lord Carnarvon isn't here. - Indeed. Though I would have had to remind him that all the usual rules still apply. - I hope you understand that? - Yes. - Of course. Arthur, are you happy? - Yes. - Pecky, you happy? - I'm ready, Howard. All right, gentlemen, we lift on three. Very, very gently. One, two, three and lift. Come on, men, we can move this. Lift. Pull, gentlemen, pull. Come on, gentlemen, put your backs into it, we can move this. Pull. Lift it! - Come on, gentlemen. - Pull! Pull! That's it. That's it. Go! Go! She's coming. - She's moving. That's good. That's good. - Yes. It's moving. Now, gently, slowly, slowly. That's good. That's good. Excellent work. Keep it going, keep it going. Pull. Pull. HOWARD: Good work. Keep lifting it, Pecky, come on. Another foot and we can tie it off. Now tie it off. Tie it off. Have you ever seen anything more beautiful? There would seem to be a coffin inside the tomb, Monsieur Carter. You looking forward to seeing what's inside? Yes and no. I wish people would stop interfering. They just... Well, they just get in the way, don't they? I know what you mean. Sometimes it's hard to keep in mind what we're all here for, isn't it? No. I know exactly why I'm here. I never forget it for a second. And why do you think that is, then? I want to find him, Arthur. I want to know who he was. I want to talk to him. Well, you may well find him. But at the end of it, all he will be is a mummy. He's not going to talk to you, is he? And if I can also ask you to be careful on the steps into the tomb. They are very steep. Ibrahim. This letter is for you, Mr Carter. Gentlemen, I have an announcement to make. Today I was forbidden by letter from Monsieur Lacau from escorting friends and wives of my team into the tomb to show them the sarcophagus. This follows a number of discourtesies shown by the Egyptian Public Works Department and its Antiquities Service. The level of interference is now intolerable and shows a total lack of respect for the late Lord Carnarvon and his extraordinary generosity and affection for this country over the last 10 years. As a protest, myself and my collaborators refuse to continue our work in the tomb until such impossible restrictions have been removed. That's all I have to say. I've been asked to go and lecture in America. You'll like it there. They'll treat you like a king. (Coughing) You should see a doctor, Arthur. Too much sand in the lungs. That's the real curse of the pharaohs. I'll be fine once we're away from Egypt. I shall miss it dreadfully. (Soldier shouting orders) Monsieur Carter. I am sorry that it has come to this. I must ask you for the key to the tomb. The refusal to work is in contravention of the terms of the concession. My department will now take responsibility and overall control of the tomb and the excavation. You mean you're kicking me out? I warned you, Monsieur Carter. I've already spoken with the minister. He's in full agreement with me. The key, if you please. The soldiers were hardly necessary, you know. Have I done the right thing, Arthur? You did what you believed to be right. (Phone ringing) Carter. OPERATOR: Mr Carter, I have Monsieur Lacau for you from Cairo. HOWARD: The situation in Egypt has changed. The nationalist campaign of violence has backfired. The government are concerned. The hotel trade is vital to them and they're worried about losing tourists. Lacau is keen to reopen the tomb. But he needs an international team to do it and he's asked me to go back. Under his proposal, I see that I remain responsible for the costs of the excavation. Yes. And I am to renounce all claims on the contents of the tomb? Yes. Duplicate pieces that the Cairo Museum feel they can spare will, of course, be ceded to you. At the discretion of Monsieur Lacau, I suppose. I will do everything in my power to make sure that you receive a fair selection. My husband would have wanted you to return to your work. Will Mr Mace be returning to Egypt? I'm sorry, I thought you knew. Mace died recently. Oh, dear. I'm so sorry. I expect the newspapers will say he is another victim of the curse of Tutankhamun. Arthur always laughed at the idea. There are times when I wonder. (Shouting instructions in Arabic) (Speaking Arabic) Lift. Stop. Stop! You, stop. You, stop. You, lift. You, start. Everyone. That's good. Very nice. Good. Okay, let's get the planks in. Planks in. Good. And lower. Lower it very gently, lower it. (Boards creaking) Very nice. Tie it off. Tie it off. My God, that was heavy. Good work. I don't understand it. It took nine of us to lift it, we've taken two of the three coffin lids off, yet the whole thing still weighs a ton. - Mummy must be made of lead. - HOWARD: Here's your answer. The first two coffins were made of wood covered in gold foil. The third coffin isn't wood. It's solid gold. And they said this might not be a royal tomb. There is one thing that's bothering me. Look at Harry's photographs. The physiognomy of the second coffin is completely different from the other two. Mace always said these shrines were botched up. I think this one was made for someone else. I think they buried our friend in a hurry. And I think it's time we had a look, don't you? HOWARD: Ready? Lift. (Grunting) Pecky, tell me when you have it. PECKY: I'll take it now. Behind me, behind me, go behind me. Behind me. PECKY: Good, you've got it. All right, good. PECKY: Now, low, low, lower, lower. (Ali speaking in Arabic) Yes, he does. Every inch a king. Who are you? (Exclaiming) With the ceremonies complete, the tomb was sealed. Tutankhamun was finally left alone in the silent valley. Pharaoh Ay reigned for just four years, leaving no heir. When a new dynasty began, Tutankhamun's name was removed from the monuments he had built. With his records erased, his memory was allowed to wither away. Goodbye, old chap. - All done? - All done. So, was it worth it? I think so, yes. Oh, yes. And did you find him? A bit, yes. A bit. During his lifetime, Howard Carter received no official honour in Britain or Egypt in recognition of his unique achievements, and when he died in March, 1939, his funeral was poorly attended. But Tutankhamun's tomb remains the most famous archaeological find of all time. Since I was the only black kid at my school, I thought people stared at me all the time because they were fascinated with me. Check it out. His skin. Was your hair always like this? Do you know Gary Coleman? But I found out they were just scared of me. She didn't come out of that classroom for a whole week. Can you tell me what's going on? There's rumor about the fight. I had a fight with Caruso, the school bully. He beat me so bad, I had to take the Underground Railroad home. Fight! Fight! But somehow that story turned into this story. Chris hit him in the jaw so hard, my tooth fell out. Chris knocked Caruso's eye out, put it back, and then knocked it out again. Chris beat the snot out of him. You can check his nose-- no snot! Chris chased him home, knocked out his family, then took their house. Now, when a rumor like this gets started, you never know where it's going to end up. Are you sure about this? Yes, sir. After Chris kicked his teeth out, he said, "And I better not see you trying to smile, cracker." Cracker... Yes, sir. Cracker. Dr. Raymond was the school principal, and the last thing I needed was for him to think I was making trouble. Thanks kid. That kid snitched so much, he made more money than the teachers. Raise it up. Higher. Higher! Right there, it's good. All right. My brother Drew loved karate, and he didn't take lessons. All he had to do was see somebody do something, and then he could copy it. Today, you'd call that a "music producer." Chris! Breathe, breathe! Ahhhh... What are you doing? Practicing karate. What are you going to do with karate? My father didn't see the reason of learning anything that didn't get you a job. So how's school, Chris? You working on anthropology or paleontology, something complicated, I bet. My mother thought I was learning all kinds of things 'cause I went to a white school. Nope, it's just regular arithmetic. Y'all hear that? White kids are working on arithmetic. Around here, they're still doing math. My mother always thought bigger words meant something better. Okay, say the blessing, baby. Where's the meat? We don't have any. Didn't you buy some porchops? No, that meat was too expensive. I know we got some canned Spam or some Vienna sausage or bacon... or beef jerky. Some... mean, what kind of meal is that without meat? It's a vegetarian meal. Do I look like a vegetarian to you? I work 60 hours a week. I lift papers and boxes all night. I don't want vegetables. I need meat. Didn't you get paid today? I quit my job yesterday. Oh, I need you to be home early on Thursday so I can pick up my check. How come you quit? They were disrespecting me, Julius. My father always worked two jobs, which made my mother so comfortable, she'd quit her job over anything. Check, please? And I mean anying. Now, do I look like I have your check? All that hollering at people. I don't need this. My husband has two jobs. I don't need to be here right now. Hold my calls. Who are you hollering at? "Hold my calls." Hold your own damn call! I do not need this! My man has two jobs! My mother seemed to always find work when she needed it, so my father didn't complain that much. That's okay, baby. I guess all those other people are just crazy. That look means "I know I'm wrong, but I'll be damned if I'll admit it." How about steak sauce? We got steak sauce? Hey, killer. Oh! Oh...! I've heard what you've been saying, Meadowlark. What? I haven't been saying anything! You don't think I have enough problems without people thinking I'm going around stomping other people's teeth out? Do I need that? ! Then who's been saying it then? There's "Got your back" guys and "I'll be back" guys. Greg! Greg was a "I'm running like a bitch" guy. You two, in my office now. Dr. Raymond hated his job because he didn't get paid enough. * Relax, don't do it, when you want to go to it... * So he blew off steam by dancing the nights away with a few close friends. * Relax, don't do it, when you want to step to it * * Relax, don't do it... * You think I like calling you into my office? Uh... or it could be a rupture of the blood vessels in the... subcutaneous tissue. A hickey. 15 years of marriage, and it's like no time's passed at all. He's still playing around. Poor thing. Officers, if you need any help, please don't hesitate. Krystal Sneed. I organized the event. I know everybody here. Any idea who might've given Patrick the love bite ? Um... just between us ? Patrick used to always make time with the undesirables. He cheated on Jennie three times senior year. Any of those ladies here today ? Michelle Day. Wouldn't exactly call her a lady. I used to... act out. Patrick was popular. He'd ditch his girlfriend after games and we'd go down to the pier. Well, under it. Did you and Patrick reunite for old times' sake ? No. Michelle, Patrick incurred a suction bruise on his neck antemortem. What's that mean ? It means whoever gave him the hickey did so before his murder. Perhaps during it. Now we swabbed the area around his neck to check for DNA. Would you care to give us a sample for comparison ? Patrick was so cute. I just wanted to experience that feeling again. - Okay... Okay ! - Come on. Still like that ? Oh, you know it. But to him, I was still a skank. Hear that ? I requested our song. We didn't have a song. Come on. Let's go out there and dance. What, in public ? Are you kidding me ? I didn't take you out in public in high school. Why would I start now ? If someone killed him, I can't say I'm sorry. But it wasn't me. Alexx... Horatio. So soon ? I was just prepping the shooting vic from the condo. Alexx, is that a void in the blood ? I think our boy was wearing a wire. Yes, it looks that way. You don't seem surprised. Is that a fingerprint right there ? Yeah. Whoever removed this wire, left his print in the adhesive. Who was this guy ? No one goes to this much trouble over a dead dealer. We do. We have an audience. Yes, we do. Give me a minute, will you, Alexx ? John... u can't be here. How'd this mope get out ? - Cop killers don't get early release... - John, I need you to stay out of this. Stay out of this ? Bob Keaton down there killed my partner. Your brother. What is it you're not telling me ? I don't have that information yet. You don't have that information ? I've been on the outside since the day Raymond died. Yes, you have. And it probably kept you alive. What's this about ? I don't know yet. Just raises so many questions. I want to get you some answers. Don't make me wait. So who removed the wire from Bob Keaton ? I don't know. Still searching. Just switched over from a local criminal database. Okay, take your time. H, I've been thinking about this crime scene. The wire, the scene being processed... It's above my pay scale, isn't it ? Maybe all of ours. Who's this ? "David Park." This guy's not a criminal. He's a GS-14. David Park has government clearance. Let's have Homicide bring him in. Thank you, Eric. Mr. Park. Yeah ? My name is Lieutenant Horatio Caine. Caine. Yes... now, I understand you work for the federal government. Census Bureau. I count people. Now, a GS-14 clearance is a little high on the food chain for a census taker, don't you think ? Again, I count people. Well, I guess that could explain why I recovered your fingerprint from my victim. And that would also tell me that you removed his surveillance wire. So that's how you tracked me down. But you're wasting your time. I didn't kill Bob Keaton. But you did process the scene, which means you do know who did kill him. I'm not at liberty to say. Mr. Park, what can you tell me ? That this case doesn't exist. And neither do I. Well, then, how do you explain me ? Lieutenant Caine... nothing good comes from waking ghosts. I think you know what I mean. But if you can wake them, then maybe... they're not ghosts. Hey, Alexx. Hey, Ryan. Did you determine the cause of death on my quarterback ? Blunt-force trauma was the cause. And I may have also found the person who caused it. I found this in his pants pocket. I know about the curve, you're a dead man. "Curve..." What kind of curve ? Whatever it was, guess it was something worth killing for. That's weird. Note has perforated edges. It looks like dot-matrix printer paper. Who uses that kind of paper these days ? Exactly. I didn't write any note to Patrick. You pulled me out of the reunion for this ? Yeah, we did. You wrote the note 15 years ago. You can't prove that. The paper was the first indication. Obsolete brand, slight yellowing. But the ink you used... the ink told us the rest. We extracted the ink from the note, Kevin. From 1969 to 1994, consumer ink was infused with a Coumarin compound. It's a plant extract. They're called chemical date tags. Determine the compound and get the year the ink was manufactured. Once the ink's extracted, it's analyzed with thin layer chromatography. The tags react to ultraviolet light. Which shows the ink on your note was made of compounds C, A, and B. Which is unique to only one year : 1990. And the writing, unique to one person. You. Krystal Sneed's Class of '90 yearbook. Which you signed. We matched the handwriting to your note. "I know about the curve. You're a dead man. " He stole the science midterm test. Got a bogus 98. Set the curve for the rest of us. Made my 91 look like a "C". Kept me out of Vanderbilt. And you waited 15 years for revenge. What ? I - I didn't kill him. Krystal told our homicide detective that she saw you and Patrick arguing right before he was killed. Kevin. Bro. Always expected you to show up at Vanderbilt, and, uh, follow through on your threat. You kept that ? It's ancient history, man. Hey, I still feel bad. I mean, I heard where you ended up. Community college ? You trying to rub my nose in it ? Hey, I'm saying it's my bad. Yeah ? Dude, tell me something I don't know. My net worth is like ten times his. I was looking forward to rubbing that in his face at the picnic. Don't go far, Mr. Banks. Right this way. So what now ? Check with Dr. Talcott in DNA. See if our murder weapon is telling us anything, would you ? Yup. The reunion murder, right ? Yeah. Uh, is there any non-victim blood on our champagne bottle ? No, but I did find something else, though. There's something in the blood. Any idea what it could be ? Whatever it is, it's underneath the blood. So it was stuck on the bottle before it was used as a weapon. Yeah, I gotta get this to Trace. Thanks. That from the Bob Keaton murder ? Dusting powder. All they got was smudges. Dusting powder... Eric, here's what I want you to do. Let's stay focused on this powder, okay ? Get it over to Aaron, - see what we get. - Okay, good. Ma'am... When were you going to tell me ? Excuse me. Tell you what ? Last week you were looking at Ray's old case files. And now today, a man I thought was locked up for the rest of his life, the man that killed my husband, was murdered. I'm still working on that. You see the way I have this is that if Bob Keaton got out of prison, that tells me he wasn't Ray's killer. Horatio, don't lie. Do you trust me ? I thought I could. I need you to trust me until I have something real to tell you. Okay ? You promise me ? Promise ? Of course. Hey. Alexx, what is that ? The shooter left a calling card our competitor missed. Muzzle stamp. It was under the mess. They didn't know to look for it. But we did, didn't we ? The killer got close for the second shot. The heat softened Bob's skin. And then the muzzle smashed into it. The muzzle with an imperfection, Alexx. This demarcation is unique only to the killer's gun. So we find that gun, we match it to this imperfection, we have our killer. Here's the thing, you need to protect your family. OK ? Policies start at $250,000. We offer term or whole life. You really can't go wrong. Think about it, Sally. People don't plan to fail, but they do fail to plan. It's great to see you. Sir, may I talk with you for a minute ? Yeah, officer. What can I do you for ? You lost your name tag. I didn't go to this school. So you go to reunions for the sheer fun of it ? What is that ? What is that ? Oh, it's a mortality clock. It shows you how many seconds you have left on this Earth. You factor in age, habits, height and weight, and statistics tell the rest. But the class of '90's going to start dropping around 2055. So you sell life insurance at the reunion ? It's a perfect place. People are all focused on their fading youth. I know, it's sleazy, but it's working. I go to class reunions all over the state. Our detective said he saw you talking to the victim's wife. I was consoling her. How are you holding up ? Patrick was taken much too soon. Jennie, yeah, I wanted to see how she was doing. I met her when I sold her a policy. - She bought a policy ? - On her husband - last night at the cocktail party. - Before he was killed ? Yes. I don't want to get her in trouble. Do you have the application on you ? Term policy, a million upon death. Jennie Hale. She signed it. Any idea where she is now ? No, I'd like a small service. Uh, nothing too pricy. No, no. Cremation. That's what my husband would have wanted. So Jennie's got a million reasons to kill her husband. Should we bring her in ? I want forensic proof. She'll wiggle out of it too easily. Everyone bought one of those policies. We may have forensic proof. There was trace on the murder weapon, - Bahamian aragonite. - Sand ? Produced by coral reefs in the Bahamas, high pH, large granule size, unique to the region. - So our killer was in the Bahamas. - Not necessarily. Remember that yearbook we looked at ? Oh, yeah. "Senior class trip to the Bahamas was awesome." I got a way to find out where that champagne bottle came from, but we're going to have to go back in time. Hey, Krystal, wait up a minute. Oh, officer. Where you going with the time capsule ? Home. Unveiling it was supposed to be a special event. The whole weekend's ruined. I mean, some things you just can't party plan. You know, actually, I'd like to see the contents if you don't mind. At least someone will get to see the time capsule. Here's the list. We buried it underground right before graduation. All our favorite memories. "Rubik's Cube, Atari 2600, Whitesnake CD, President Bush elected." That's the first one, right ? Dubé champagne." The same brand as the murder weapon. The bottle's not in there. Did you take it out, Krystal ? What do you mean, take it out ? No ! Oh, my God ! Our beach in a jar. It broke ! That might be evidence. Evidence ? I'm confused. Let me guess. You brought it back from your trip senior year in the Bahamas ? How'd you know ? Are you the only one with a key to the time capsule ? Well, there's one other person. Not that she ever cared about the class project. She just loved the attention. So ? I opened your little time capsule. Still as lame as the day we buried it. You removed the champagne bottle, breaking the glass jar in the process, didn't you ? Okay, yeah. I took the bottle. The same bottle that was used to kill Patrick shortly afterwards ? You're putting words in my mouth. It used to be Patrick's favorite, so I brought it to our hook up. Remember this ? Dubé champagne. Yeah, sure, great, we'll drink it after. Come on. - Okay. Okay. - Come on ! I left the bottle on the floor, unopened. You're only going after me because of my reputation. A person's character does enter into an investigation. Character ? I have a job, a condo, nieces that love me. I left high school, not like some of the people at the reunion. Oh, yeah, like who ? Take your pick : cheerleaders, band geeks, rockers, stoners, loners. It's just like they never left. I mean, look at Dan. He's still a total outcast. Dan ? Life insurance Dan ? Dan Winslet. Dropped out freshman year, but still shows up to our reunion. What kind of loser would do that ? We're going to find out. I'm serious, guys. You're making a mistake. No, we're not. Get your hands out, Mr. Winslet. What ? You didn't go to the reunion to sell insurance, did you ? Yes, I did. I told you before. I got blood smeared. There was smeared blood on the floor where Patrick was killed. How much you want to bet that's our victim's blood ? Puts you at the scene, Dan. Do you care to talk about that ? I should have been part of that class. It's all his fault. Freshman year, locker room. Dansy the pansy. Shouldn't have told Coach I blew off practice. That'll keep you from talking ! Yeah ! Good night ! You want to know how long I was in the hospital ? How long it took them to get that tape off me ? Skin grafts. I can't take off my shirt in front of anyone. Not that I even have anyone. - Do you blame Patrick for the life you have ? - No. For taking the life I could have had. Bastard ! - I know you ? - You should. Well, I guess more people remember me. Dan Winslet. Freshman year. Dansy the pansy ! What's up, man ? I want an apology for what you did. Whatever it was, get over it. Man, wait ! He didn't even remember what he did to me. So he took your life... . and you took his. Mortality clock. Counts down the remainder of someone's life. Or their life sentence. Eric, the powder ? You were right. Some of the trace we found in Bob's apartment was cocaine. What was it cut with ? Vitamin A, Vitamin C, and five percent bisacodyl. It's a laxative. Now, we have this mixture in our library. It's Julio Pena's cut. Calls it the Colombian Health High. Yes, well, it's time for Julio to come down. - Good afternoon, gentlemen. - Julio Pena ? I wanna know why were you at Bob Keaton's apartment today. Lily white doper ? What you think ? I'm guessing that you might have killed him. I was there, sure. Boy postured like he's seasoned. Feels light. Which would mean a lot if you were a scale. Do you want it or no ? Now it is light. I'm losing my patience. $800 or the deal is off. Deal's off. I'm out of here. See, there's a problem with your story, Julio. What, no happy ending ? No, whoever shot Bob left evidence of their gun on him. Okay. Look, I brought an associate with me. New guy, loose cannon, - name of Luis, Luis Rivera. - And Luis shot Bob ? You ask him. Until we find Luis, Julio, we're going to hang onto you. Step over to the car, please. Let's go, Julio. Right over here. Let's go. Eric ! I don't see anyone. Shift into Plan "B". Luis Rivera hold up. Luis, you got to change up your routine, man. I didn't do nothing wrong. Yeah, you wake up, and you're already wrong. Let's get him up. Mmm. Concealed weapon. The gun's going to the lab ; you're coming with us. Let's go, guys. You shoot Julio ? I didn't cap nobody. That's all right. We'll get the bullet from autopsy. Well, when you do, get back to me. Are we done ? Not quite, Luis. What's that ? That is your confession for another murder. What murder ? Bob Keaton. Muzzle stamp's identical. Bob's chest, your gun. 800 or deal is off. Then it's off. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Five. I'll give you five. Now you negotiate ? Luis, show him my counteroffer. - I'm out of here. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. You killed him. Julio's the boss. Maybe you took care of that, too. No, I swear. I didn't. Then why, Luis, are you alive and Julio's dead ? I'm cagey, man. Not cagey. Meaningless. Got the bullet from Julio ? Right here. 22-caliber. Long rifle used for distance. And not a match to Luis's gun. What else, Alexx ? Julio's got ulcerations of the oral mucosa, stomach and intestines. That's rare for a young man. Yeah. And look at this : He's got burns and lesions on both hands. Now the burns could've come from drug use, but the lesions, I don't think so. Alexx, I want to order a CBC. A complete blood count ? I don't think this is drug-related. You think he was killed for some other reason ? Not killed. Assassinated. Horatio, I've got the results of the blood work you asked for. Ran Julio's CBC with a complete white cell differential. And look at this : his lymphocytes are alarmingly low. And you couple that with the ulceration, and, well... He's been exposed to radiation. And not a little. We're talking serious exposure. This guy was working in this stuff. Thank you, Alexx. Eric, we need an address on Julio Pena, and I need you to meet me there right now. Thank you. All clear. All clear. - H... - Yeah. You've got an X-ray machine. This is a source of the radiation. Hazmat didn't register any, so where'd it go ? This cable's the pig tail. Houses an iridium capsule at one end. Iridium's the source of the radiation. Capsule's been removed. This is bigger than we thought Eric. Why was Julio involved in this ? Because someone was using him to finance the operation. So Julio was caught in between the two worlds. Whoever did this needed to get to him before we did. Got a serial number. We need to trace that number. Mr. Thomason, last year you purchased ten X-ray machines. For welding seams. I'm planning to start a construction company. Then explain to me how one of them ended up in Julio Pena's workshop. Don't know who that is. Mr. Pena sells drugs in order to purchase the machines. Once in his possession, he dissembled them. Dissembled them ? - Why would anyone do that ? - Excuse me. Excuse me... ! This conversation is over. Mr. Thomason, you're under arrest. Please stand up. Couldn't leave it alone, could you, Caine ? Hang on a second, gentlemen. Now I am conducting an investigation in this room. Say good-bye to Mr. Thomason. He's our suspect now. Fed trumps county. Get him out of here. Thomason was leading us to his contacts. - We were closing in. - Closing in on what ? I can't discuss it. This would be a good time for you to start. This isn't just smoke and mirrors. There are people in our country, this very state in fact, who want to do us harm. Answer my question. Haven't you heard of the greater good ? Was my brother Raymond involved in this ? And I want the truth. Raymond's dead. Now we both know that's not true. You keep digging... and it will be. I did some checking of my own. Bob Keaton's release was approved by federal authorities. He was a Fed, wasn't he ? Yelina, Bob Keaton was a DEA agent. And Raymond ? I need to know. I have the right to know. Horatio, is he still... is he still alive ? It's possible. It's possible. Oh, my God. What are we going to do ? Everything we can. Another great vacation getaway in the Pegasus galaxy. Where is everyone? There's smoke from the chimneys. They're inside. Can't say I blame them. There's nothing I hate more than a damp cold. Let's check this out. Howdy, folks. - Who are you? - Sheppard. This is Teyla, Ronon, McKay. You from Ratira? No. From over the mountains, then? A little further. Then you've come a long way. You'll be in need of food and drink. Sit. I take it you don't get many strangers around here. No. Especially not those that travel near dark. Why is that? You really don't know? Callum. What's your business here? No business, really. We're just travelers. Then you best keep traveling. Yeah. All right. Wait. Goran, you can't send them out there. They look like they can take care of themselves. It may not even start tonight. It's been three months. How much longer do you think it'll wait? Hi. What are you talking about? The Daimos. Never heard of it. It lives in the forest. It'll be feeding soon. And it is, what, some kind of an animal, or... it's a creature. It has the appearance of a man, but it can suck the very life from your bones. Leaves only a dead withered husk behind. Sounds familiar. Stargate Atlantis Look, we know you're not used to dealing with strangers, but we may be able to help you with this little problem you're having. We're used to dealing with this kind of thing. We call them the wraith. These are the creatures from the old stories? From the time of the cullings? So you have heard of them. Yes, but the histories of them are incomplete. They tell of the great ships that descended from the sky, but there's no description of the wraith themselves, although there were a few among us who guessed that Daimos might be one of them. Why? Because it, too, came from the sky. It was about 10 years ago. A bright light appeared above the village... crashed into the hills. We didn't know what it was, but people were terrified. Hurry, get in the house. I went with some of the other men to investigate. We found the wreckage, a few wounded survivors. We didn't know what they were. We decided to take no chances. We slaughtered them, burned the bodies. Wise decision. Unfortunately we didn't get them all, and although none of us saw it, evidently, one of them survived. It took its first victim that very night. We tried to hunt it down, but we couldn't find it. It's been out there ever since. It feeds three, four times a year. Takes two or three people each time. Two years after the crash, it took my own son. That's it? One wraith, in the forest? Yes. I'll be done by morning. Whoa, whoa, whoa. We'll all go together, in the daylight. You're really going to help us? Well, like the man said, it's just one wraith. It'd be downright unneighborly if we didn't. In that case, drinks are on me. Uh, well, let's not forget the food. What? Is it true? You're going to hunt the Daimos? It looks that way. I heard it has two heads, and it can turn you to stone just by looking at you. Well, you heard wrong. My uncle says it'll come and take me If I don't do my chores. He said that, huh? Well, then, if we get rid of it, you've got nothing to worry about, you'll never have to do chores ever again. - Really? - Yes. Look, go away. What? As far as we know, no one was taken last night, but it will strike, and soon. We'll kill it before that happens. You must be great at parties. We're talking about a hundred square miles of forest here. be patient. Ronon's been going up against the wraith one on one for the last seven years. If anyone can track this thing, it's him. And exactly how is he going to do that, huh? It helps to have good hearing. Right. Carry on. What about you? You sensing anything? I'm not sure. What do you mean? There is a presence here... but it is different. I cannot quite explain it. It's in there. Ronon! Damn it. It's in there. - Was it wraith? - Yeah. - You see it? - No. Well, how do you know? Ronon is correct. I can definitely sense it now. A female. Ellia? Get out of the way. No, please. Don't shoot. She's not what you think. She is my daughter, she means you no harm. She's a wraith. Maybe so, but she's different. I swear to you. Let me guess-- wraith with a heart of gold? She doesn't feed. She's never taken a human life. How is that possible? Please, lower your weapons, and I'll explain it to you. It's all right. Father... No, I won't let them hurt you. I raised her as my own. You live here, together? This was part of a mine before the last culling. It's not much to look at, I know, but we don't have much choice. The people of the village would not understand. Gee, I wonder why. The villagers told us there was a wraith in the forest. It came here in a crashed ship 10 years ago. 10 years ago? Ellia was just a child. Do you really think that she could be responsible for the deaths that happened immediately after the crash? So you know about that, then? I was there. I helped kill the survivors. But when I found a young female lying unconscious some distance from the crash... I couldn't bring myself to hurt her. I brought her here to this cave to hide her from the others. To this day, the people of the village don't know, and you must promise not to tell them. She's not responsible for what's been happening. Then who is? I believe another wraith survived the crash, an adult. That's who you should be looking for. If she does not feed, how does she live? At first, I fed her as you would any child, and that seemed to suffice, but then something began to change. The food no longer gave her any sustenance. There was a hunger growing in her that would not be satisfied. I heard the stories of the other creature, what it did to survive, and I was afraid that was what Ellia would become. And so I... started to experiment. I have extensive knowledge of the chemical properties of various medicinal plants that grow in this forest. Are you interested in science? I'm not sure that's what I would call this, but yes. Ellia's hunger was growing stronger every day, and I wasn't sure that I could do anything for her, but eventually... I came up with this. A drug that allows the wraith to survive without feeding? That's what he said. Is such a thing even possible? We don't know enough about wraith physiology to say for certain, although, I must admit it's intriguing that this dr. Zaddik claims the wraith survived on normal food for a time. Why? Well, if he's telling the truth, it might be the answer to a very puzzling question. Right now, our best guess is that the wraith evolved from the Iratus bug. Like the one that attached itself to my neck a year ago? That's right. I hate those bugs. Trust me, I know. We've speculated that they evolved into the wraith when they began to take on the characteristics of the humans they were feeding on. Now, there are many aspects of human physiology that are quite useful-- bipedal motion, opposable thumbs, large brain capacity. But the human digestive system serves no purpose in the adult wraith, so why have one at all? Because they eat normal food when they're young. Exactly, then at some point, they lose the ability to sustain themselves with that food. So it's a teenage thing-- pimples, rebellion, life sucking. something like that. The question is what causes it? If it's due to some chemical deficiency, like a diabetic's inability to process sugar, then it's possible it may be addressed with some kind of drug. So Zaddik could be telling the truth. I'd like to go to the planet and check into it. Is that really necessary? I'm sure we could get a sample, bring it back here for you to analyze. It's not just the drug I'm interested in. This young wraith could be very important for our research. What research? We're working on a retrovirus that would alter wraith DNA, essentially stripping out the Iratus bug elements of their genetic code and leaving only the human aspects behind. A drug that turns wraith into humans? Effectively, yes. But so far, we haven't had much success, partly because we lack the living tissue and blood samples we need to test it. You think this girl would be willing to provide them? Look, I realize we can't bring her back to Atlantis, but I could take the retrovirus and the equipment necessary for the analysis with me to the planet. A few days with a cooperative test subject could be worth months of theoretical research. Elizabeth, I don't have to tell you how important this could be for us. Is she dangerous? She's a wraith. Although... I have to admit, she does seem a little different. Remember, the leaves must be dried and finely ground. Like this? A little more. Now... Why is distillation an important step? To remove the toxins from the ferassin root? Precisely. We wouldn't want the serum to send you into paralytic shock, now, would we? No, father. Seriously, Have you seen anything like this before? No, I have not. She is unlike any wraith I've ever encountered. What if it's all an act? If she were a killer, Why would he protect her? Well, maybe the act's for his benefit, too. They live here together, Rodney. If she were like other wraith, He would be her first victim. Teyla, this is Sheppard. Go ahead. We just got back with Beckett. Ronon's going to take him up to the cave. I'm going to check in with the villagers. What are you going to tell them? I'm still working on that. This equipment's remarkable. Where did you get it? Oh, here and there. Let's start by analyzing that drug of yours, shall we? Oh, yes. Of course. Would you like some tea? Oh, thank you. Oh, no, thank you. Would you like some? No. Are you sure? It's very good. I said no. Maybe some biscuits? I baked them myself. Stay away from me! Ronon! It's all right. It's okay. They hate me, don't they, father? No. No, no, no. They just don't know you. Was that really necessary? You can dress her up and teach her table manners, but it's not going to change who she is. Teyla, this is Sheppard. Come in. Go ahead, colonel. Is Ellia still in the cave? Yes. Has she been there the whole time? Yes. Why? They just found another victim. Apparently he's only been missing for a couple of hours, which means she couldn't have done it. It looks like Zaddik might have been telling the truth Colonel Sheppard. Is there any progress with this hunt? We're working on it. Maybe we could help you. That won't be necessary. We're sick of doing nothing. We're sick of being afraid all the time. That thing is hunting in daylight now. We'll never be safe. Just be patient. We'll take care of it. You see? I told you she wasn't responsible for the killings. The serum makes it unnecessary for her to feed. Can you confirm that? Not yet. It'll be a while before I can complete my analysis. All right. Well, in the meantime, There's another wraith out there. I believe Ellia may be able to help us find it. How? May I speak with her? All right. May I join you? Ellia, we need your help. You can sense the other wraith. It is all right. It is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I have the same ability. Really? I sensed you in the forest, when you were watching us, and I knew even then that you were different. Your father has raised you well. He has taught you right from wrong. You are not like the other one. I don't let him in. I don't like what he shows me. I know, but you have to try. Now, we need to find him. You don't understand. I have tried myself, but I can get nothing. Please. All right. Good. Now, concentrate. Try again. I saw a river. Zaddik? Is there a river nearby? Yes, just to the east. All right, let's go. McKay, stay here and help Beckett. Uh, medical research is not really my thing. And hunting wraith? But, I mean, I can stay... and help Beckett. Never could get into biology. There's just too much information about the human body. One time, I took it as an undergrad, I diagnosed myself with half a dozen separate medical conditions before I had to drop the class. Really. Yeah, believe it or not, back then, I was a bit of a hypochondriac. You know, this does require a certain amount of concentration. What, am I bothering you? Maybe i'll go get some air. This must be the river she saw in her vision. Assuming she's telling the truth. Just because there's another wraith doesn't necessarily mean you can trust her. What do you got? Fresh tracks. It's him. Now do you believe? I still think there's something more to this than she and Zaddik are telling us. He's heading upstream, into the hills. Let me ask you something. If you can prove to everyone that I'm telling the truth, that Ellia no longer needs to feed, do you think the villagers would accept her? That's what I'm afraid of. No matter how hard we try to convince them, they'll always see her as a monster. I'm getting old, doctor. Oh, you've got lots of time. Never have as much as we think you have. And when I'm gone, she'll be alone. I tried to teach her about love and human companionship. But that's exactly what she'll never have. Zaddik, there's something I want to show you. I didn't say anything at first, because I didn't want to get your hopes up. It's a retrovirus, something I've been working on. I don't understand. Oh, god. How am I going to explain this? Part of Ellia is human, and part of her comes from a creature we call the Iratus bug. It's the part that makes her look the way she does and where her desire to feed comes from. Now, it's possible, by means of this retrovirus, we can strip away those parts, and leave only the human parts behind. You mean she-- she'd be like you and me? Yes. Now, I must warn you, the retrovirus is still experimental. In fact, it's only been tested on cell cultures in a laboratory, and so far, without much success. I'm hoping that what we can learn from your daughter will help me perfect it. We've got a problem. Why didn't you just radio me? Yeah, well, I could've, but... this way. Looks like they decided to join the hunt. If they find Ellia, they'll kill her. Sheppard, this is McKay. What is it, Rodney? The villagers are on the move, and it doesn't look like they're going to a picnic. Are they heading for the caves? Not at the moment, no. All right. Get back there and sit tight. We're losing time, guys. Ellia? Ellia? She's not here. Good Lord. What? She took the retrovirus. You said it wasn't ready. It's not, not by a long shot. What'll it do to her? To be honest I have no idea colonel Sheppard come in. Go ahead. We've got another problem. Ellia's gone, and she's injected herself with the retrovirus. Why would she do that? She must've overheard us talking about it. I told Zaddik it might be the key to making her human. Please, you've got to find her before the villagers do. Look, Ronon says we're close. If we lose the trail now, we may never catch the wraith. Rodney and I will find her. All right, but be careful. Understood. I'll come with you. No, I think it's best if you stay here. Look, is there anywhere that she likes to go, Any favorite hiding spots or favorite places? Yes, she often goes off for hours at a time, up into the hills. I don't like it, but she doesn't listen to me. It's a start. You know, I thought it was pretty nuts when Ronon was trying to track a wraith through this forest. Now that it's just us, do you feel any better? Oh, yeah. Supremely confident. Father. Ellia. Where did you go? I was hiding. I didn't want the others to know... to know what? Ellia, why did you take the retrovirus? Because I don't want to be this way anymore. I hate what I am. If you heard what dr. Beckett said, you know the retrovirus isn't ready. I had no choice. When they kill the other wraith, I won't be able to pretend anymore. Pretend? What? I've wanted to tell you for a long time... your serum doesn't work, father. It never has. That's impossible. It's been two years since you... since the last time. That wasn't your fault. It was my idea. I needed time to perfect the formula. But it wasn't working. The hunger just... got worse. What did you do? I'm sorry, father. No. No, that was the other one. It was both of us. I sensed him out there. I knew when he was feeding, and I would go out at the same time. No. No, it can't be. Ellia? Stay away! What is it? What's happening? Let me help you. No! Sheppard. This is where he's been making camp. He was here less than hour ago. Did you hear anything? no. Huh. Me neither. Easy, now. You went through the trouble to save my life. It'd be a shame to kill me. You all right, Rodney? Yeah, just peachy. What the hell was that? The retrovirus is having the opposite effect than we intended. I guess so. Oh, god. On the... Yeah, but... Ellia? You poor girl. You never deserved this. I know part of you is still there. Ellia, please. This isn't you. Zaddik! Are you all right? Don't try to move. It was Ellia... but it wasn't her fault. Over here! Here, come on! No, no, no! You people need to go back to the village! It is not safe here. Who is that? Don't you remember me? No... it can't be. You were taken by the Daimos. No, father. Father? I don't understand. you're... You're his son? If my son were alive, he'd be 34 years old. xxx There's another one of those things out there. Look what it did to Zaddik. I say we go after it now! No one's going anywhere. We'll handle this. Stay calm. How is he? I've given him something for the pain, but his injuries are too severe. He's not going to make it. This can't be happening. It's not possible. I'm sorry. Don't blame Ellia. It was my idea. You... have to understand... that when I found her, I'd just lost my own wife and son to a fever. She was just lying there, helpless. When I saw her, I knew what I had to do. As I told you, in the beginning, she survived on food and water like any young girl. xxx No. No! It's all right. Take what you need. I can't. Yes, you can. She took what she needed from me to survive... until I perfected the serum. Father? Father? I'm so sorry. She never fed on anyone after that? No. All right. Teyla, ronon, you're with me. The rest of you, stay here. Colonel, the retrovirus is acting quickly. The human part of her is almost gone. You said she killed the other wraith and saved McKay's life. Yes, but I'm not sure she knew what she was doing. She's operating on a purely animal level right now. Is there nothing you can do for her? I might be able to reverse the effects, If you bring her back alive, but I doubt she'll cooperate. She's also stronger and faster than any wraith I've ever seen. Great. All this time... we thought you were dead. There was no other way. They never would have accepted us... and I couldn't abandon her. Why? She... needed me. Colonel, this is Beckett. Go ahead. Addict's dead. Understood. She knows we're here. She's watching us. Ellia? We want to help you. Dr. Beckett can make you better, but you have to come with us. We will not hurt you. Die! She took a blow to the head when it hit her. Stay with her. - Sheppard - That's an order. Tile? What happened? Where's colonel Sheppard? He went after the creature. You let him go alone? Well, he wanted me to stay with you. I am fine. Go. Aren't we supposed to follow his orders? Sometimes we are allowed to make exceptions. Who decides when it's one of those times? We do. That's good enough. Ellia... don't make me do this. You okay? Yeah. She tried feeding on me. She wasn't going to let us take her back. Yeah. I know. Stargate Atlantis -=the end=- What a great vacation getaway in the Pegasus galaxy. Where is everyone? There is smoke from the chimneys, they're inside. Can't say I blame them. There's nothing I hate more than a damp cold. Let's check this out. Howdy folks. Who are you? Sheppard. This is Teyla, Ronon, McKay. You from Matira? No. Over the mountains then? A little further. Then you've come a long way. You'll be in need of food and drink. Sit. Take it, you don't get many strangers around here? No. Especially not those who travel near dark. Why's that? - You really don't know? - Callum. What's your business here? No business really, we're just travellers. Then you best keep travelling. Ya... Alright then. Wait! Goran, you can't send them out there. They look like they can take care of themselves. May not even start tonight. It's been three months, how much longer do you think it will wait. Hi, what are you talking about? The Daemus. Never heard of it. It lives in the forest, it'll be feeding soon. And it is some kind of an animal? It's a creature, that has the appearance of a man. But it can suck the very life from your bones. Leaves only a dead, withered husk behind. Sounds familiar. Transcript: scifigate.net Callie Sullivan Look, we know you're not used to deal with strangers, but we may be able to help you with this little problem you're having. We're used to deal with this kind of thing. We call them the Wraith. These are the creatures from the old stories, from the time of the cullings. So you have heard of them. Yes, but the histories of them are incomplete. They tell of the great ships that descended from the sky, but there's no description of the Wraith themselves. Although there were a few among us who guessed the Daemus might be one of them. Why? Because it too came from the sky. It was about 10 years ago. A bright light appeared above the village... and crashed in the hills. We didn't know what that was, but the people were terrified. Hurry, gate in the house. I went with some of the other men to investigate. We found the wreckage,... a few wounded survivors,... we didn't know what they were. We decided to take no chances. We slaughtered them, burned the bodies. Wise decision. Unfortunately, we didn't get them all. And although none of us saw, evidently one of them survived. It took it's first victim, that very night. We tried to hunt it down, we couldn't find it. It's been out there ever since. It feeds three, four times a year. Takes two or three people each time. Two years after the crash it took my own son. That's it. One Wraith in the forest. Yes. I'll be done by morning. We all go together. In the daylight. Are you really going to help us? Like the man said, it's just one Wraith. It'd be downright unneighbourly if we didn't. In that case, drinks are on me. Well... let's not forget the food. What? Is it true? You're going to hunt the Daemus? It looks that way. I heard it has two heads and it can turn you into stone, just by looking at you. Well you heard wrong. My uncle say's it'll come and take me if I don't do my chores. He said that? Well then, if we get rid of it, you got nothing to worry about. You'll never have to do chores ever again! - Really? - Yes, look, go away! What? As far as we know, no-one was taken last night. But it will strike and soon. Well, we'll kill it before that happens. You must be great at parties. We're talking about 100's square miles of forest. Be patient. Ronon's been going up against the Wraith, one on one, for the last seven years. If anyone can track this thing, it's him. And exactly how is he gonna do that? I also have good hearing! Right! Carry on! What about you? You sensing anything? I am not sure. What do you mean? There is a presence here, but it is different. I cannot quite explain it. It's in there. Ronon! Dammit! It's in there. - It was a Wraith? - Yeah. - Did you see it? - No. - Well, so how do you know? Ronon is correct. I can definitely sense it now. A female! Ellia? - Get out of the way! - Please don't shoot! She's not what you think! She's my daughter. She means you no harm! She's a Wraith. Maybe so. But she's different, I swear to you. Let me guess. A Wraith with a heart of gold? She doesn't feed. She's never taken a human life. How is that possible? Please... lower your weapons and I'll explain it to you. It's alright. - Father. - I won't let them hurt you. I raised her as my own. You live here? Together? This was part of a mine, before the last culling. It's not much to look at, I know, but we don't have much choice. The people of the village would not understand. Gee! I wonder why. The villagers told us there was a Wraith in the forest. It came here in a crashed ship, ten years ago. Ten years ago? Ellia was just a child. Do you really think that she could be responsible for the deaths that happened immediately after the crash? So you know about that, then? I was there. I helped kill the survivors. But... when I found a young female lying unconscious, some distance from the crash, I couldn't bring myself to hurt her. I brought her here to this cave to hide her from the others. To this day, the people of the village don't know and you must promise not to tell them. She's not responsible for what's been happening! Well then who is? I believe another Wraith survived the crash. An adult. That's who you should be looking for. If she does not feed, how does she live? At first I fed her as you would any child and that seemed to suffice. But then something began to change. The food no longer gave her any sustenance. There was a hunger growing in her that would not be satisfied. I heard the stories of the other creature. Of what it did to survive... and I was afraid that was what Ellia would become. And so I... started to experiment. I have extensive knowledge of the chemical properties of various... medicinal plants that grow in this forest. Are you interested in science? I'm not sure that's what I would call this, but yes. Ellia's hunger was growing stronger every day and I wasn't sure that I could do anything for her. But... eventually, I came up with this. A drug that allows the Wraith to survive without feeding? - That's what he said. - Is such a thing even possible? We don't know enough about Wraith physiology to say for certain. Although I must admit, it's intriguing that this Dr Zaddik claims that this Wraith survived on normal food for a time. Why? Well, if he's telling the truth, it might be the answer to a very puzzling question. Right now, our best guess is that the Wraith evolved from the Eratus Bug. Like the one that attached itself to my neck a year ago? - That's right. - I hate those bugs. Trust me, I know. We speculated that they evolved into the Wraith when they began to take on the characteristics of the humans they were feeding on. Now there are many aspects of human physiology that are quite useful. Bipedal motion, opposable thumbs, large brain capacity. But the human digestive system serves no purpose in the adult Wraith. So why have one at all? Because they eat normal food when they're young. Exactly. Then at some point they lose the ability to sustain themselves with that food. So it's a teenage thing. Pimples, rebellion, life sucking. Something like that. The question is what causes it? If it's due to some chemical deficiency like a diabetics inability to process sugar, then it's possible it may be addressed with some kind of drug. Zaddik could be telling the truth. I'd like to go to the planet and check into it. Is that really necessary? I'm sure we could get a sample. Bring it back here for you to analyse. It's not just the drug I'm interested in. This young Wraith could be very important for our research. What research? We're working on a retrovirus that would alter Wraith DNA. Essentially stripping out the Eratus Bug elements of their genetic code and leaving only the human aspects behind. - A drug that turns Wraith into humans? - Effectively yes! But so far we haven't had much success. Apparently, because we lack the living tissue and blood samples we need, to test it. You think this girl would be willing to provide them? Look, I realise we can't bring her back to Atlantis, but... I could take the retrovirus and equipment necessary for the analysis, with me to the planet. A few days with a cooperative test subject could be worth months of theoretical research. Elizabeth. I don't have to tell you how important this could be for us. Is she dangerous? She's a Wraith! Although, I have to admit, she does seem a little different. Now remember, the leaves must be dried and finely ground. Like this? A little more. Now why is distillation an important step? To remove the toxins from the ferrison root? Precisely. We wouldn't want the serum to send you into paralytic shock now, would we? No father. Seriously. Have you ever seen anything like this before? No I have not. She's unlike any Wraith I've ever encountered. What if it's all an act? If she were a killer, why would he protect her? Maybe the act is for his benefit too. No, they live here together, Rodney. If she were like other Wraith, he would be her first victim. Teyla, this is Sheppard. Go ahead. I just got back with Beckett. Ronon's gonna take him up to the cave. I'm gonna check in with the villagers. What are you gonna tell them? I'm still working on that. This equipment's remarkable. Where did you get it? Oh, here and there. Let's start by analysing that drug of yours, shall we? Yes, of course. Would you like some tea? Thank you Oh, no thank you. - Would you like some? - No. Are you sure, it's very good! I said no. Maybe some biscuits? I baked them myself. Gate away from me! Ronon! It's alright. It's OK. They hate me, don't they father? No... They just don't know you. Was that really necessary? You can dress her up and teach her table manners, but it's not gonna change who she is. Teyla, this is Sheppard. Come in. Go ahead, Colonel. Is Ellia still in the cave? Yes. Has she been there the whole time? Yes, why? I just found another victim. Apparently, he's only been missing a couple of hours, which means she couldn't have done it. Looks as though Zaddik may have been telling the truth after all. We must defend ourselves! Colonel Sheppard. Is there any progress with this hunt? We're working on it. Maybe we could help you? That won't be necessary. We're sick of doing nothing. We're sick of being afraid all the time! That thing is hunting in daylight, now! We'll never be safe. Just be patient. We'll take care of it. See? I told you she wasn't responsible for the killings. The serum makes it unnecessary for her to feed. Can you confirm that? Not yet. It'll be a while before I can complete my analysis. Alright. Well, in the meantime, there's another Wraith out there. I believe Ellia may be able to help us find it. How? May I speak with her? Alright. May I join you? Ellia, we need your help. You can sense the other Wraith. It is alright. It is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I have the same ability. Really? I sensed you in the forest, when you were watching us. And I knew even then that you were different. Your father has raised you well, he has taught you right from wrong. You are not like the other one. I don't let him in. I don't like what he shows me. I know, but you have to try now. We need to find him. You don't understand. I have tried myself, but I can get nothing. Please. Alright. Good. Now concentrate. Try again. I saw a river. Zaddik? Is there a river nearby? Yes, just to the East. Alright, let's go. McKay, stay here and help Beckett! - Medical research, not really my thing. - And hunting Wraith? I mean, I could stay help Beckett. Never could get into biology. This is too much information about the human body. One time, when I was an undergrad, I diagnosed myself with half a dozen separate medical conditions, before I had to drop the class. Really? Yeah. Believe it or not, back then I was a bit of a hypochondriac. You know, this does require a certain amount of concentration. What? Am I bothering you? Maybe I'll go get some air. This must be the river she saw in her vision. Assuming she's telling the truth. Just cos there's another Wraith, doesn't necessarily mean you can trust her. What have you got? Fresh tracks. It's him. Now do you believe? I still think there's more to this than she and Zaddik are telling us. He's heading upstream into the hills. Let me ask you something. If you can prove to everyone that I'm telling the truth, that Ellia no longer needs to feed. Do you think the villagers would accept her? That's what I'm afraid of. No matter how hard we try to convince them, they'll always see her as a monster. I'm getting old, Doctor. You've got lot's of time. Never have as much as we think we have. And when I'm gone, she'll be alone. I try to teach her about love and human companionship, but that's exactly what she'll never have. Zaddik, there's something I want to show you. I didn't say anything at first, because I didn't want to get your hopes up. It's a retrovirus. Something I've been working on. I don't understand. Oh God, how am I gonna explain this? Part of Ellia is human. And part of her comes from a creature we call the Erratus bug. It's the part that makes her look the way she does and where her desire to feed comes from. Now it's possible, by means of this retrovirus, we can strip away those parts and leave only the human parts behind. You mean she'd be like you and me? Yes. Now I must warn you. The retrovirus is still experimental. In fact it's only been tested on cell cultures in a laboratory and so far without much success. I'm hoping, that what we can learn from your daughter will help me perfect it. We got a problem. Why didn't you just radio me? I wanted to radio but... Looks like they decided to join the hunt. If they find Ellia, they'll kill her. Sheppard, this is McKay. What is it, Rodney? The villagers are on the move and it doesn't look like they're gonna a picnic. Are they heading for the caves? Not at the moment, no. Alright, get back there and sit tight. We're losing time, guys. Ellia? Ellia? She's not here. Good Lord! What? She took the retrovirus. - You said it wasn't ready. - It's not! Not by a long shot. What'll it do? To be honest, I have no idea. Colonel Sheppard, come in. Go ahead. We'vegotanotherproblem. Ellia's gone and she's injected herself with the retrovirus. Why would she do that? She must have overheard us talking about it. I told Zaddik it might be the key to making her human. Please. You've got to find her before the villagers do. Look, Ronon says we're close. If we lose the trail now, we may never catch the Wraith. Rodney and I will find her. Alright, but be careful. Understood. I'll come with you. No, I think it's best if you stay here. Look, is there anywhere that she liked to go? Any favourite hiding spots or favourite places? Yes, she often goes off for hours at a time, up into the hills. I don't like it, but she doesn't listen to me. It's a start. You know, I thought it was pretty nuts, when Ronon was trying to track a Wraith through this forest. Now that it's just us, do you feel any better? Oh yeah. Supremely confident. Father. Ellia. Where did you go? I was hiding. I didn't want the others to know. To know what? Ellia! Why did you take the retrovirus? Because I don't wanna be this way anymore! I hate what I am. You heard what Dr Beckett said. You know the retrovirus isn't ready. I have no choice. When they kill the other Wraith, I won't be able to pretend anymore. Pretend what? I've wanted to tell you for a long time. Your serum doesn't work, father. It never has. That's impossible. It's been two years since you... since the last time. That wasn't your fault. It was my idea. I needed time to perfect the forumla. But it wasn't working. The hunger just got worse. What did you do? I'm sorry father. No. No, that was the other one. It was both of us. I sensed him out there. I knew when he was feeding and I would go out at the same time. No, it can't be. Ellia! Stay away! What is it? What's happening? Let me help you. Sheppard. This is where he's been making camp. He was here less than an hour ago. You hear anything? No. Me either. Easy now. You just went to all that trouble to save my life, it would be a shame to kill me. Are you alright, Rodney? Yeah, I'm just peachy now. What the hell was that? The retrovirus is having the opposite effect, than we intended. I guess so. Oh God. Ellia? You poor girl. You never deserved this. I know part of you is still there. Ellia please! This isn't you! Zaddik! Are you alright? Don't try to move. It was Ellia. But it wasn't her fault. Over here! Come on. No, no, you people need to go back to the village. It is not safe here! Who is that? Don't you remember me? No. It can't be. You were taken by the Daemus. No father. Father? I don't understand. You're his son? If my son were alive, he'd be 34 years old. Precisely. There's another one of those things out there. Look what it did to Zaddik. I say we go after it now! No-one's going anywhere. We'll handle this! Stay calm. How is he? I've given him something for the pain, but his injuries are too severe. He's not gonna make it. This can't be happening. It's not possible. I'm sorry. Don't blame Ellia. It was my idea. You have to understand. When I found her, I'd just lost my own wife and son to a fever. She was just lying there helpless. When I saw her, I knew what I had to do. As I told you, in the beginning she survived on food and water, like any young girl. Then the hunger came. It's alright. Take what you need. I can't! Yes you can. She took what she needed from me to survive, until I perfected the serum. Father? Father? I'm so sorry! She never fed on anyone, after that? No! Alright! Teyla, Ronon, you're with me. The rest of you, stay here! Colonel! The retrovirus is acting quickly. The human part of her is almost gone. You said she killed the other Wraith and saved McKay's life. Yes, but I'm not sure she knew what she was doing. She's operating on a purely animal level right now. Is there nothing you can do for her? I might be able to reverse the effects, if you bring her back alive. But I doubt she'll cooperate. She's also stronger and faster than any Wraith I've ever seen. Great! All this time. We thought you were dead. There was no other way. They never would have accepted us. And I couldn't abandon her. Why? She... needed me. Colonel, this is Beckett. Go ahead. Zaddik's dead. Understood. She knows we're here. She's watching us. Ellia? We want to help you! Dr Beckett can make you better, but you have to come with us. We will not hurt you! She took a blow to the head when Ellia hit her. Stay with her. - Sheppard! - That's an order! Teyla. What happened? Where's Colonel Sheppard? He went after the creature. You let him go alone? He wanted me to stay with you. I am fine. Go. Aren't we supposed to follow his orders? Sometimes, we're allowed to make exceptions. And who decides when it's one of those times? - We do! - That's good enough. Ellia! Don't make me do this. You OK? Yeah. She tried feeding on me. She wasn't gonna let us take her back. Yeah. I know. SubTitel by: ApfelStrudel 2007 Our diverse lines of goods and services makes your life safer. More healthy and more fun We design smart weapons for homeland defense and... High tech games for home entertainment. We are the most trusted name in the toxic waste disposal... and we make your favorite snack food's too. Hybra Tech it is here to help when disaster strikes. We were on the front lines containing the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear disaster. When ever there is a outbreak of zombies reanimation, Hybra Tech leads the charge in containment. We are the exclusive contractor for the environmental protection agency... and the world health organization. We neutralized the last zombie specimens. Thanks to Hybra Tech, there hasn't been a single zombie outbreak in over 10 years. Hybra Tech, chemical solutions for the entire planet. THE RETURN OF MORTOS PART 4 - NECROPOLIS Entry to the exclusion zone without permission is forbidden. You like the singing? Nathalia Lavina. She is the Russian Britney Spears. How much further? Don't be so nervous, we will be there in a couple of minutes. You are sure that they are here? Yes, they are here my friend. This is the best place to keep them safe. This is it. Don't worry, the Geiger-Counter is a precaution. The level of radiation is the same as a ray-x of teeth. Bullshit you hear about this place... Just to get more money from you Americans. What was that? Don't worry. Suppose someone finds us here? Everything is fine my friend. I have made arrangements for the security for this place. We are in the base of the main reactor. You can make a "tour" if you like. Would you like to see the place where they make the big boo-boo? No! Let's cut the 50 cent tour and tell me where the hell they are. Behind you. The last of the Trioxin-5 canisters. Is this all of them? No, there are 3 more barrels upstairs. Nicholai, go and get them. PROPERTY OF THE US ARMY When the American military ordered the canisters destroyed, the authorities here 'followed the instructions'. It wasn't until later, that these surfaced in the underground. and was put here for safe keeping. It's ironic that it is the American government that wants them. Let's get something absolutely clear, the American government has nothing todo with this transaction. Of course Mr. Garrison. Now, how many do you want for your personal use? All of them. Nicholai! What are you doing? Excuse me. Nicholai... Brains and we make your favorite snack foods too. Hybra Tech... Hey Pyro. Get moving. You are going to be late for school. I am using one of my sick days. Stop with this! You're burn the whole house down. I can start with your room if you like. You are having a good old time, aren't you? If Mom and Dad was still alive. But they're not are they? Why don't you just blow up the whole neighborhood while you are at it? Morning, uncle Charlie. Don't forget to mauld the lawn after school. Sure. How was the convention in Bakersfield? Uneventful. I heard that Hybra Tech is sponsoring one of the monster trucks for the big rally next week. Really? I didn't know that. I was wondering if you can score some tickets for me and Zeke? Or not. Becky! Hi Julian! Look out! Beck, are you alright? Grap my bag, I'll get your bike. How many bikes is it this month? I don't know, four? Hi Becky. How are you doing? Oh, I am doing fine. How are you? Hi Guys! Hi Katie. Hi Baby. What's wrong? No kiss for the former-boyfriend? You smell like farm wather. I got it, calm down. I take it as he's not handling the break-up to well? No. Hi Guys! Are you going to check out my gymnastics today? Oh yeah, bet you look real good bent over the bar. Up your! Name the time, You got 4 more years to get a piece of this solid man. What did he mean? I got accepted to Florida University. You mean to tell me, that you got in without hacking into the computer system... and making it all happen like you usually do? All by myself, just like a big boy. I see you guys later. Where are you going? What's wrong man? Time to celebrate! Touchy subject. "What are we all doing tonight?" Katie. Katie, you work at Hybra Tech don't you? I bet you see all sorts of examples of these scientific processes. Actually, I work in the monitoring station in security. Hybra Tech is a classic example of a company... whose goods and services constantly udelices... the scientific discovery processes. They create almost everything, from processed cheese to napalm. A very unfortunate part in the scientific processes is failure. In simple terms, you can not make a omelette without breaking a few eggs Where are you going? Get back to your seat please. What is going on here? Julian parents was 2 of the volunteers that died last year at Hybra Tech... they where in a car-wreck. Julian! wait. She didn't know. It's cool... They been on my mind a lot lately. It's been really hard on my brother too. I am so sorry. Thanks... I'll be alright. Well, well, well... What have we here? Hi Zeke. Hello young lovers. I got to get back to class. See you back in class... Striktly hands of Bro. Zeke, I wouldn't do that. She's just my friend. You wouldn't? That's what best-buds do don't they? Yeah! I can think about a dozen times... - I have been the best friend you ever have. Saved your ass, lie for you, stolen for you. Zeke, I am telling you. Nothing is going on. So we are on the same page? Yeah. Ok, come on, let's hang out. I steal 6 packs of beer how does that sound? Tonight, me and you we are going to the movies. Leo is in a new movie. You got to see it. I can't, I have to work tonight. Why do you work in that awful place? I need the money, I have to save up to college. Alright, whatever. I ask Mimi to go with me. Ok, see you later. Bye! All hands on deck. Jake? Uncle Charlie? Anybody home? This is Charles Garrisons secretary calling from Hybra Tech... Mr. Garrison will be working late again tonight and will see you sometime tomorrow. Stay out of trouble and Julian still needs to mould the lawn. Where the hell are you guys? You scared the shit out of me. You should look into that. I brought you something to eat. Way to go Zeke! Now get out of the way and let me show you how it's really done. I want to see Acho finally get it right. No, that's cool. Don't be chicken-shit. Look at Pyro, he did it and he's a little kid. You know what they say... If you fall of a horse you gotto get right back on. What they say, if you eat dirt after falling of 6 meters... Like he did last week? You can do it. We are all about trust, right Bro? That a boy, show these Barneys how to catch some air. Shit! What are you doing? Center the tire and the ramp does the work for you... I told you to be one with the bike. I know how to do it. Damm, where are you head theses days boy? What you got on your mind? Lead, follow or get out of the way. You alright? He's out. You are unbelievable. - That could be taken a couple of ways. - Get out. Well, no ambiguity there. Don't forget your brother's CD. My eye! Man, I love sunsets. The way the sky is streaked with color. It's amazing. It's the pollution that makes those pretty colors, you know. What you're enjoying is the effect of light passing through airborne poison. No, that's not what I'm really enjoying. Boy, I hope that's guacamole. Subtitles by SDI Media Group [ENGLISH] Can't we just go home? If I gotta drag you to the doctor at 8 in the morning... ... youcancoolyourjets while I get coffee. I must look like an idiot. Wish I could tell you different. You're the reason we went to the eye doctor in the first place. You said, "Throw me a piece of toast. " I threw you a piece of toast. Two cups of regular coffee, please. -My treat. -Oh, that makes up for everything. Pigeons can feed out of my eye socket, but I get a free cup of coffee. Just the coffee. Keep the change. I'm gonna need your help until I get this patch off. I am absolutely there for you. Great. Great. So-- So you'll drive me to work, pick me up, get Jake at school... -... dothegroceryshopping-- -Okay, I may have misspoken. Charlie, you have to. You know I can't drive. I don't see why not. -Oh, look who's here. -Who? A girl I used to go out with. Over there. Hey, Sherri. -Hey, Charlie, long time. -Yeah. Good to see you. -This is my brother, Alan. -Hi. -Hi. -What happened to your eye? Well, I wanted a piece of toast, and-- Bar fight. -Nice to meet you. -Well, nice meeting you too. -Good to see you, Charlie. -Good to see you too. -Wow, you went out with her? -Yep. Why would you stop? I don't remember. I probably got bored. Bored? How do you get bored with that? For every beautiful woman, there's at least one guy out there... ... who'stiredof pretendingtolisten to her in exchange for sex. Well, let me go on record as saying, I am not that guy. If I ever had a woman like that, I would cherish her. I would worship her. I would... ... starta smallcountryand put her face on a stamp so I could lick her head. -Why don't you go talk to her. -Yeah, right. Gorgeous women like that are not interested in pasty guys like me... ... unlesswe'rein line for the British throne. -So you give up without even trying? -Yep. That's my motto. Why waste time on 1 0s when you're already getting rejected by sixes? Alan, listen to me. You are a smart, sensitive, good-looking man... ... withsomemilkydischarge coming out of one eye... ... butwhoamongstusisperfect? That's the other thing. Look at me. I'm a mess. So? Women like Sherri have big, hunky guys hitting on them all day long. A guy like you walks up, makes a move, you know what that says to her? Trick or treat? It says, "l'm confident in who I am. " -You think? -l know. So, what if she's not interested. What's the worst that could happen? Actually, the worst that could happen is she points at me... ... andlaughs,causingevery seventh grader in the cafeteria to turn... ... andwatchme slinkback to the geek table... ... witha growingwetspot on the front of my chinos. We ninth graders enjoyed it also. But you're not in junior high anymore, and you're not a-- You're not in junior high anymore. -lt's time to let go of those fears. -l don't know. Oh, come on, Alan. For once in your life, don't settle. Go for what you really want. You know what? You're right. I'm gonna go talk to her. Hold on. Let's clean some of that discharge. You wanna say "l'm confident," not "l'm infectious. " There. Go get her. Hey, you see that guy over there? Twenty bucks says he wets himself. -Hello. -Hi. -Alan? -l remember. Look, I needed to come clean about something. I wasn't actually in a bar fight. I took a piece of whole-wheat toast to the eye. I mean, it was cut diagonally and toasted well... ... soitwasessentiallyshrapnel. Did some real damage. I see. And why do you feel the need to tell me all this? Well, I guess I didn't want our relationship to start on a lie. Our relationship? -l'll go now. -No, no, wait. Sit down. Join me. Okay. -That's it. I'm out. -Oh, come on. No, no, no. No more. You got a date. Leave it alone. Not just a date. A date with... . Enough. -l'd think you'd be happy for me. -l am happy for you. You had the courage to walk over... ... withyourpus-filledeye and fall on your ass... ... andstillgotadate with oneof the most beautiful women I've ever met. -l'm not only happy for you, I'm proud. -Thank you. Now, I have to re-evaluate everything I thought I knew... ... aboutmen,women,relationships, God and the universe. But that's not your problem. Charlie, I am as surprised as you that she said yes. I don't think so. I was really intimidated, but as it turns out, she's just like a regular person... ... exceptfor,youknow, being from the planet: Alan, never do that around me again. You know, actually, we have a lot in common. Okay. I'll bite. Well, we both went through tough divorces. -Sherri was married? -You didn't know that? -lt never came up. -What did come up? Never mind. Scratch that. Where should I take her to dinner? Where did you go so I can take her somewhere else? Last thing you want is for her to start comparing you to me. Exactly. Wait. What do you mean? You want your relationship to stand on its own. -Right. -Well, that's what I meant. Okay. I thought you were trying to rub my nose in the fact that you dated her. Alan, I would never do that. Well, thank you. I don't have to. You think you could kill a guy with a piece of toast? No. Because if you did, you could eat the toast. The police would never find the weapon. it's the perfect crime. And part of a nutritious breakfast. Okay, guys, I guess I'll see you later. Where you going? -Out for dinner. -With who? Jake, look, I think-- l think you're old enough to know that your dad's not just a dad. He's also a man and that... ... eventhoughI'mnot married to your mom... ... Istillenjoythe companyofwomen ... ... whichmeansthatIwill occasionally go out with one. But the important thing for you to understand... ... isthatIamnottryingto replace your mother. In fact, no one can replace your mother. I bet you could kill a guy with a piece of bacon. All right, then. I'm glad we had this talk. I'm gonna go post my plan on the Internet. You know, there's moments around here... ... thatmakeme wish I had a son of my own. That wasn't one of them. Yeah, well. Anyway, I really appreciate you watching him tonight. No problem. -How you getting to the restaurant? -Sherri's picking me up. -Very convenient. -Why? Because she's been here before? Been here with you? Because you've had sex with her in every room in the house? No, because you can't drive. But it's interesting to see how your mind works. Alan, let me give you some advice. Alcohol impairs your ability to make good decisions. We don't want you to lose that ability. We want her to. Of course. Very good. What else? Well, women like Sherri already know they're beautiful and desirable. -You won't score points by telling her. -Okay. Don't be in a hurry to spill your guts. She doesn't need your life story... -... beforeyougetthe salad. -Got it. As someone who knows your life story, I'd say she doesn't need to hear it at all. Right, right. I'll be cool, aloof, distant. She's here, she's here, she's here! What about the- - What- - What-- What about the kiss goodnight? -Should I ask or just go for it? -Go for it. Don't wait until the last minute. It creates pressure. -Get it out of the way early. -How early? After dinner, when you walk to the car... ... openherdoor,waitforher to say thank you... ... smile,leanin ,andkissher. Oh, nice. Hi, Alan. You ready? You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I don't deserve you. That's another way to go. -Madam. -Thank you. -Sir. -Oh, thank you. -Would you like the wine list? -No. I'll have the Woodbridge Pinot Noir. Or should we get a bottle? Oh, definitely get a bottle. Coffee for me. You know, Sherri, I'd really like to see more of you. Maybe we should wait and see how tonight goes. No, I mean, I've only got one good eye. Could we change places? Oh, sure. -Are you okay? -Oh, yes, yes. Fine. -This is a nice place. -Yeah. It's my favorite. You ever come here with Charlie? I don't know. Probably. He's a big steak-eater. I'm more of a fish guy. You know, I'm surf, he's turf. And we're cops. -You're very cute. -You too. All right. So tell me about yourself. Well, there's not a lot to tell. I was San Fernando Valley Chiropractor of the Year... ... ifyoufollowthatkind ofthing . Recently divorced. But not too recently. I've already had my rebound, transitional relationships. -So no worries there. -Good to know. Actually, it wasn't so much a relationship... ... asa caseof mistakenidentity, but I think it still counts. -Okay. -And... ... asyouknow,Ilive with Charlie... ... whomyou'vealready.... -Met? -Yeah, let's go with met. Alan, is my having dated Charlie gonna be a problem for you? No, no, no. A little. Okay, look. Charlie and l-- We had a very brief, superficial relationship. Okay? And to be honest, it was mostly about sex. Great. My point is, yeah, I'm tired of those, those shallow relationships... ... Iwashavingwithguys like Charlie. I wanna be with a man who can be sensitive and caring, nurturing. You know, somebody who can make me laugh, make me think. You do realize I'm straight, right? -See, you really are adorable. -Thank you. I tend to bring out the mothering instinct in women. -Oh, really? -ironically, not my mother. What the hell are you doing? Check it out. Ninja death toast. Okay, stop it, stop it. You're in no position to give orders, Mr. Harper. -Morning. -Morning. -Death toast? -Oh, thank you. -So how did it go last night? -Fine. That's it? Fine? Charlie, we're not in high school anymore. I'm not gonna go into detail. -Okay, don't tell me. -Jake, go watch TV. -l'm still hungry. -There's bread all over the living room. All right. -Well? -lt went great. She said I'm adorable. She thinks I'm nurturing, caring and sensitive. -l'm exactly what she's looking for. -She's looking for a half-blind sheepdog? She invited me to her house for dinner tonight. -l think she wants to have sex. -With who? -With me. -With you. Hang on a second. Nope. No snowballs reported in hell. No sightings of flying pigs. -What am I gonna do? -You don't know? Come on, Alan, you were married for 1 2 years. What does marriage have to do with sex? Point taken. Okay, you want some tips? No, no, nothing like that. I need step-by-step instructions. All right. Since this is your first bout in this weight class... ... I'dsaystickwiththebasics. Better to do the simple stuff well than the fancy stuff badly. Got it. And the simple stuff would be... . Well, you know how women like you to go slow? Really? My ex-wife put a premium on brevity. Her motto was, "Less is more, and none is perfect. " Well, Sherri's not like that. You're gonna wanna take your time. -l can do that. -But don't loiter either. You don't want her to get bored and play solitaire on your head. No loitering. Got it. -Something else? -Okay. When you're with a woman like Sherri, who's so gosh-darn beautiful... ... thatyougetexcited just thinking about her... ... howdoyoukeepthesprinklersfrom going off while you're still mowing? Let me make sure I understand. You wanna keep your toothpaste in the tube until you're done brushing. What are you talking about? -What are you talking about? -Okay, okay. Let me try again. I don't wanna frost the cake while I'm still mixing the batter. I don't get it. She must have lost a bet. -Excuse me? -Nothing. All right. Here's what you do. When you feel like the train is leaving the station... . You mean, going in the tunnel? No, no, I mean leaving the station. But you have to leave the station to get to the tunnel. Okay, okay. Let's start from the top. And work our way down, right? You know what? Just shut up and listen. When you're making love, the way to slow yourself down is... ... tothinkof something completely non-sexual. -Well, what do you think of? -You. That was a really great dinner. I'm glad you enjoyed it. You ready for dessert? I've been ready since I was 1 4. I'll be back. Why don't you put some music on. Okay. Hey, how about Diana Krall? Oh, actually, that's your brother's CD. Do you mind bringing it back to him? Not at all. I think I have one of his T-shirts. You might as well take that too. No problem. Hey, this is a cool, little CD player. Oh, thanks. lt was a gift from your-- lt was a gift. Perfect. is there anything else Charlie left behind? Just me. My brother's a fool. No argument here. -That is a very effective negligée. -Thank you. -Was it a gift? -No. -As a matter of fact, I bought it myself. -Oh, good. -How long ago? -What? Well, I was just wondering if Charlie saw it. Alan, don't go there. Oh, I wasn't going anywhere. It's just that-- -Nothing. More kissing. -Okay, okay. What exactly is bothering you? Well, it's kind of hard to explain. For example, once, when Charlie and I were at camp... ... Ilostmy swimtrunks,andI had to wear an old pair of Charlie's, and... ... Ijustcouldn'tenjoy the pool at all. So, what are you saying? I'm a pair of used swim trunks? No, no. ln this case, I think you would be the pool. Maybe this was a bad idea. No, no, it's a great idea. It's right up there... ... withthewheel,fireandrefrigerators that give ice through the door. -Sorry. I don't wanna do this anymore. -What? Why? You can't be with me without it being some competition with your brother. It's not a competition. And even it was, shouldn't we do it first before you decide who wins? You are unbelievable. -That could be taken a couple of ways. -Get out. Well, no ambiguity there. Don't forget your brother's CD. My eye! Man, I love sunsets. The way the sky is streaked with color. It's amazing. It's the pollution that makes those pretty colors, you know. What you're enjoying is the effect of light passing through airborne poison. No, that's not what I'm really enjoying. Boy, I hope that's guacamole. Subtitles by sdl Media Group [english] Hiya, Sangita. It's Nicki. Hiya. You all right? No. Not really. I just did a pregnancy test and I... tested positive for baby. You neverI I'm pretty sure I followed the instructions OK. Well, you're gonna have to go see a gynaecologist. What good's a bush doctor gonna be? I'm pregnant. I know I am. I haven't had a period since the "Eurovision Song Contest". - And what does Moz think? - That's just it, see. It might not be Moz's. What d'you mean? Well, he's got a one-in-three chance. There's only one thing for it. I'm gonna go in there and I'm gonna tell him the truth. I'm just poppin' out to get some tampons. - Get us some fags, will ya? - Course. Sure. I'll get you some fags. Why not? China. Good to see ya. - Broke up with Psycho Paul. - Smart move. As a rule, never date anyone whose nickname suggests anger-management issues. - I'm seeing Cartoon Head again. - Oh, you're not? Yeah. I... I kept thinking about him. Wondering what might've happened if we'd stayed together. What might've happened? ! He's a paranoid hit man who knocked you about. - How many more clues d'you need? - There's another side to him. - Is it worse? - He's like a little boy. With a gun. China, you're a delicate precious creature. I don't want you being taken advantage of and me having to hear about it second-hand. Nobody is taking advantage of anybody. You don't have a blim I could take home, do ya? - Course I do. - Oh, you're great, you. You're like me other dad. - Your dad never, er? - God, no! Good, good. Aaaah! Raargh! Oooargh! Raargh! I don't normally cater for family groups. I'm nearly done with this baby. - Today is me last day. - That's the beauty of childminding, innit? It's like renting' a video. Once you're finished with it, you just pop it back through the slot. I've got a new baby lined up. Oh, aye? One of me own. - You what? - Yeah. - You're not pregnant? - Yeah. - Aren't we? - Mm. Bloody hell. Aren't you gonna congratulate us? Aye, yeah. I'll crack open a bottle of Ribena Toothkind, shall I? We're gonna envelope together. How are you gonna support yourselves? The money from two paper rounds don't go far. - I wanna set up a nursery. - No. I were gonna call it... Crash Bang Wallop. (KNOCK AT DOOR) I need to be there. - Hiya, Moz. - All right, Alex? How you doing? Just on me lunch break. Thought I'd pop in, get a little bit mashed. - You still teaching at secondary school, then? - Yeah, for me sins. Felix. - Have you come looking for me? - Er... yeah. - What you after? An eighth? - Er... yeah. Fine. Look, it's all right, Felix. You can relax. Cheers, Miss. - You know the nuclear family, do you? - I know Felix. My name is Jenny. - Hiya. You Felix's girlfriend? - Oh, she's a lot more than that. Yeah. I'm his chaperone. - Is he yours? - No. And it's a she. Oh, no, hang on. Oh, you're right. - Oh, it is a he. (TUTS) - Oh, OK. So, er... when are you "enveloping"? I dunno, we're still makin' plans. I dunno whether to catch the train or get the coach. Where to? I dunno. You're young. You've got the rest of your lives ahead of you. Could be a good thing. - Could be a bad thing. - Tara! See ya on "Trisha". I was thinking of asking you to speak at the school. Speak? About drugs. Speak about drugs? To the kids. Speak to the kids about drugs? They need to hear about the harsh realities 'cause... people talk so much shit about drugs. Yeah. I know I do. Half your sixth form come round here anyway. You could call a register here some weeks. Ah, now, that's another good topic. What's it like working from home? (KNOCK AT DOOR) Well, the hours are terrible, but then I hardly do owt. So it balances itself out. Jesus! "Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth". - It's been a while, lads. - Been off on tour, haven't we? - Been having some mad times, y'know. Mad. - Mad! - Hello, Miss. - Lee. Jason. Miss. - How are you both? - Wicked. We just got back off tour. - You had a band, didn't you? - We're Silicone Valets. - You didn't teach these Flop Idols, did you? - Yeah, tried to. For me sins. - Too rebellious to teach, us. Weren't we, Miss? - No. Just too thick. - Do us a quarter, will ya, Moz? - Oh, two quarters for me. Cheers. Quarters, eh? You are doing well. Oh, yeah. Now who's thick? Keep the change. Well, you completely cleared me out. I'm gonna have to have a major restock. (KNOCK AT DOOR) Ah, well, better get back. - Nice to see you both. - Yeah. Oh, actually this is our first EP. It's called "Exhibit A". Thanks. Hope the teaching works out, Miss. Yeah, I know I couldn't handle a load of kids screaming' at me every day. No, 'cause that's for successful bands, i'nt it? Bye. All right, fella? - Oh. Hello, Miss. - Bye, Kuldip. - Bye, Moz. - Bye. 'Ey! - I've been thinking. - Yeah? Maybe we could send a class on a field trip to Amsterdam. Yeah, I'll have a think about it. - Oh, you better take this. "Exhibit A". See you. - See ya. - You OK, Moz? - Yeah. Hey, Nicki was saying how great you were at the party. What she say? That you... really got her in the groove. What? Me DJ set? Yeah, well, the groove ain't been made that I can't get people into. What's that? It's nowt. Look. "Exhibit A". And for you, sir. - Ta. Wicked cover. Makes me want to rinse it. - Looks real, don't it? - Oh, it is. Moz gave us it and it's his hanky. - Lee! It's all right. We put a thank-you note on the sleeve. There you are. What you doing? Puttin' me name on the sleeve! Telling King Gob here I gave you the hand! Why not take an advert out in "Loot"? "Moz supplies body parts"! - Shit, man! Where'd you get it from? - I found it in the kitchen. End of story. How can it be end of story? I mean, whose hand is it? The one a bloke killed over the road. Mrs Slocombe dragged the hand in. OK? Three little words, Moz? 999. Three more. Fuck off, Kuldip. I didn't want the police here, so I gave it to Sonny and Cher. - Nobody's gonna believe this. - No, 'cause you're not telling anyone about it. The four of are gonna keep the whole thing under wraps. There's gonna be big posters of it everywhere. The record company's giving us a big push. I'll give you an even bigger one in a minute, knob-head! We could all go to prison for this. Not me! I'm not involved. I've got me records to think of. - Hey, d'you need any remixes done? - Ah, yeah. Yeah, that's not a bad idea, that. Yeah, let's stick a foot on there! I tell you what. I'll do a few remixes for you. If you like 'em, we'll sort something out. - Remixes of what? - Shut it, Gollum. It's none of your business. - None of my business? Remixing? DJ Troy? - Them's the words. Now make sense of 'em. "Exhibit A". Will you stop getting 'em out your bag? It looks like a cannibals' picnic round here. - Who have you remixed, then? - Me. - Yeah, you. - No, me. I've remixed me. I remix me own tunes. Right. Any good? No. You've got one more guess. Think more "opposite of good". Just finished me album, "Troy's Noise". "Troy's Noise". Sounds French. It's not just rhymes. Talk to the hand, 'cause, er... nobody round here's arsed. Who rattled your face? I'm thinking of calling my mix the "On The Bathroom Floor" mix or maybe the "He Shouts His Own Name When He Comes" mix. What are you gobbing on about? Have you had your brain clamped and towed away? - (PHONE RINGS) - Get that, our kid. - I don't get calls. - Further your people skills! Yeah. Oh, right, hang on. It's for you. - Troy, it's for you! - It can't be. - It is. It's for you! - I don't get calls. Well, you're getting this one. It's Donna. Your wife. Oh. Hiya, Donna. - How's the wife? - She wants me to move back in with her. Oh. - D'you fancy it, or? - Aye. Suppose. - Best pack me bag. - Yeah. Suppose you best had. Yes! - Couldn't lend us a ten-spot, could you? - Yeah, course, our kid. Cheers, bro. - Nicely, nicely! - That's a bit of a relief. Bit of a relief? Bit of a relief? I feel like I've just done a dump the size of a man's head. Troy? Look, about that tenner. There's... no rush for paying' us back. As long as it's within one calendar month. - Moz, I know we've never been close... - No, we hate each other. - No, we don't. - We do, don't we? We might. Look, I don't want to see you get hurt. You can't always trust your friends. - Aye aye! - Or the law. Yeah, well, sayonara, Señor Paranoia! All right, filth? Still got that tattoo of a Dalek on your arse? I can't stay long, Moz. I'm mounted. What, you left Shergar outside? You'd best leave. The kids round here'll melt him down for glue. Right, then, Moz, we'll be off... Right, then. See you, lads. Bye, then. Zig and Zag! Right, then, if I see the dogs that resemble the dogs you were talking about, I'll notify you! Right! - (PUNCHING) - HuhI HuhI RausI - Yes! - HuhI RausI - HuhI RausI - 'Ey! HuhI RausI Taste death! - (PUNCHING) - HuhI RausI HuhI RausI HuhI RausI You'd hate it. (PUNCHING) How many of these have you got? Got one to spare? It's not really your thing. What sort of "thing" is it, then? It's, er... it's Will Young. - (DOOR OPENS) - Gone a bit hardcore, hasn't he? - RausI HuhI RausI - (PUNCHING) RausI Smack. - Yes! - Oh, yeah! Taste death! (SNORES) Hi. Everyone. RausI RausI - Did you get me my fags? - Soz. I forgot. RausI AaaaghhI Guess who I found out's pregnant. - Hey? - Guess. Go on, guess who's pregnant. - I don't know. Er... Nicki? - What? ! - No. Jenny. - Oh. No! God. Rather her than me. I loathe kids. Yeah. I loathe kids and all. Kids? I really loathe 'em. The only reason you lot don't like kids is because you're still living life like little kids! I'll freshen this bong water. 'Ey, how about this one? Guess who's movin' out. - You? - No, Troy. Oh, good. I don't know why you let him move in. He's me brother. You never know when you'll need bone marrow. He's rude, he's ignorant, he's lazy. Yeah. How could two brothers be so different? Anyway, he's gone. Moved back in with Donna. That's the last we'll see of "The Troyminator". I had to tell you, at that party the other night in the bathroom, I saw... - What? - What? You was in the bathroom at the party the other night and you saw... Saw... that it needed a makeover. So paint it magnolia. Put some decking' down. Sort your taps out. - Eh? - Just a fuckin' thought! Gotta go. See ya. What's up with you? Looks like death row in here. Er... yeah, well, better get back in the saddle. That horse'll be on bricks by now. I'd best bust a move. I've got to meet Amanda. - Who? - Amanda. You know, with weird eyes. See ya! Gonna pop out, get some fags. God. I want this baby. But it's not that simple, is it? I mean, it might turn out to be... brownish. Oh, right. And is Moz racist? No. That's not the point, is it? It's just... (KNOCK AT DOOR) I'm comin'! 'Ey, that's what got you into trouble in the first place. - Hiya. Is Moz in? - He's off hunter-gathering. He's out gettin' some cigs. - Can I wait for him? - Who are you? Craig. Friends call me Craigie. Moz calls me Craigie. I've got a delivery for him. Really good gear. He's been asking us to come round for ages. - Shall I spark up a doobie? - I suppose that's the least you could do. Yeah. - You haven't got a beer? - I have, yeah. - You two lesbos, then? - What? - I'm bi. She's bi-curious. - Am I? - You know you are. - Yeah, I suppose I am. What about you? I'm from Morpeth. (KEY IN LOCK) Here's Moz. Fancy going into town? - I'm going into town. D'you want some fags? - I've got some now. I've been ringing round everywhere. Not a blade of grass in town. - Good job your mate with the gear's here, then. - Eh? See ya. When? Oh, it's you. - Ahoy, Captain! - What's that supposed to mean? Nowt. Goodbye. (FARTS) (FARTS) What are you doin' here? You threw a tin of dressed crab through my window. I didn't mean owt by it. Just trying to get your attention. You've got it now. You're off, pal, you're not needed. I've bought some wicked gear. You can have a little bit of it if you want. (THEY GIGGLE) - Fizz Wiz? - You what? Whizz? Fizz Wiz. It's weird. It pops on your tongue. I remember this. Thank you, spices. You have helped open eyes, so Geeta can marry her love. I'm not going to say anything. Hello! I saw the poster in your window and went along to his class. And saffron, Myisha and Kwesi have found love, too. He can cook, too. She taught me everything I know. MYISHA: What do we get? KWESI: Anything with garlic. Everything OK, Jagjit? - Yeah, it's all good. (Explosion) Don't be scared. It's just a bus backfiring. Scared? I ain't scared. Are you all right, son? Somebody after you? How would you like never to be scared again, Jagjit? Teach him, till he's a master like you. Why are you doing this? Because I want to. Cinnamon, you have found a true friend for Jagjit to guide him through the highs and lows of life in America. Thank you, spices. Their desires are now fulfilled. Whatever, man... I never got to cook for him. Turns out he's fallen in love with someone else. He told you that? Yeah. I can't hate him for it. I've never seen him so happy. Please, spices, give me one night with Doug. One night for my desires. Then you have me forever. # BALLY SAGOO: Aap Ki Nazron Ne Samjha Ladyjaan. You look... different. Or is it my eye playing? I have brought something for you. Are you feeling better? Oh, yes. Hameeda and her brother have been very kind. She's been cooking all day for us and she's been keeping me company. Today will you have some chai? And you? Sure. I'll help her. Haroun... I've come to say goodbye. Where are you going? I'm returning back home. What about your store, Ladyjaan, and your customers? Is it not right for us to go back to where we belong? Not for me, Ladyjaan. Are you not angry at what they did to you? Of course, I'm angry, Ladyjaan. But I still have both my eyes and I have such friends. Haroun, you have found so much more than wealth here. You came for a dream and found love. Now, what did you bring for me? It's for Hameeda. Well, actually... it's for you both... together. Lotus root. You put this on her on the night of your wedding. It's for a lifetime of deep loving. Here it is. What do you think? It's uh... It's beautiful. Is this yours? Oh, yeah. It's an old bakery, actually. I just love the idea of making old things new. There's something cool about it. Forgive me, Doug, but I have to return to where I belong. You showed me such love. Thank you. But it cannot be. I do not expect you to understand. But there is no other way. I'm sorry. I will carry your love with me forever. Spices. I never left you. I could have lived with you. And him. Love cannot be wrong. But I will leave him, if it means losing you. I give my life to you. Tilo! Tilo! - Are you OK? - (Coughs) Are you OK? I woke up and you were gone. I read your note. I crossed the bridge and just as I got to the other side the quake hit. Are you sure you're OK? Yes. Let's get you out... Let's get you out of here. (Coughs) Tilo Mistress, you have shown your devotion to the spices. The spices know you will never leave them. Doug, I'm not leaving. You're staying with me. I mean here. I'm not leaving here. Tilo, there's nothing left here. This is my home. I guess I can help you rebuild it. You never told me what my spice is. Sesame. Tilo. (Inhales) Ripped with SubRip 1.13 and Verified by CdinT (Cristi_Polacsek@SoftHome.net) I deliver perfection... and don't brag about it! : D - Number 17, please. - That'll be fine, thank you. Goodbye. Thank you so much. Hello, Fawlty Towers. Oh, hello, Mr. Hawkins. - I've arranged your car for 2:00. - Thank you. Well, you did say today, Mr. Hawkins. - You do accept checks? - With a banker's card, yes. Well, we have to cancel the order then. Yes. No, no, 5:00 will be fine. Goodbye. Polly, Brenda can't start till Monday. Would you mind doing the rooms until then? - Oh, no. I could do with the money. - Oh, good. There you are. Thank you, Mr. Yardley. Oh, hello. Can I help you? - Yes... - Girl, would you give me change for this, please? In one moment. I'm just dealing with this gentleman. - Yes, Mr. Thurston... - What? - I was wondering... - I need change for this! In a moment. I'm dealing with this gentleman. But I have a taxi driver waiting. Surely this gentleman wouldn't mind if you just gave me change. - Do you? - No, no. Go ahead. - There you are. - Thank you. Can you tell me how to get to Glendower Street? Now, I've booked a room and bath with a sea view for three nights. - Glendower Street? - Yes. You haven't finished with me. Missus...? Mrs. Richards. Mrs. Alice Richards. Mrs. Richards, Mr. Thurston. Mr. Thurston, Mrs. Richards. Mr. Thurston is the gentleman I'm attending to at the moment. What? Mr. Thurston is the gentleman I'm attending... Don't shout. I'm not deaf. Mr. Thurston was here before you, Mrs. Richards. But you were serving me! I gave you change, but I hadn't finished dealing with him. Now, Glendower Street... Isn't there anyone else in attendance? Really, this is the most appalling service! What a good idea! Manuel, could you lend Mrs. Richards your assistance in connection with her reservation? Now... I've reserved a very quiet room with a bath and a sea view. I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation, so please make sure I have it. Qué? - What? - Qué? - K? - Sí. C? "KC"? "KC"? What are you trying to say? No, no, no, no. - Qué: What. - K-watt? Sí. Qué... what. - C.K. Watt? - Yes! Who is C.K. Watt? Qué? Is he the manager, Mr. Watt? - Manaher! - He is? Ah, Mr. Fawlty! - What? - Fawlty! What are you talking about, you silly little man? What is going on here? I ask him for my room, and he tells me the manager's a Mr. Watt, aged 40. No. No, no. Faw-lty. "Faulty"? What's wrong with him? It's all right, Mrs. Richards. He's from Barcelona. The manager's from Barcelona? No, no, no. He's from Swanage. - And you're in 22. - What? You're in room 22. Manuel, take these cases up to 22, will you? Very nice stay, Mr. Fawlty. Ah, glad you enjoyed it. Polly, would you get Mr. Firkin's bill, please? When will we see you again? Oh, not for a few weeks. You're not by any chance a betting man, Mr. Fawlty? Er... well, I used to be. Only there's a very nice little filly running at Exeter this afternoon. - Really? - Dragonfly. Ah. - Dragonfly? - Yeah. It's well worth a flutter, but pay the tax on it before... Oh, delighted you enjoyed your stay. Very nice. Hope to see you again before long. - There you are. - Thank you. Goodbye, Mrs. Fawlty. Goodbye, Mr. Firkin. A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed. Oh, Mr. Fawlty, 3:00, Exeter, Dragonfly. Right? Yes, good luck! Jolly... jolly good luck with it. Morning, Major. Good morning, Fawlty. Yes, dear? What was that about the 3:00 at Exeter, Basil? Oh, some horse he's gonna bet on, I expect. You're looking very spruce this morning, Major. - St. George's Day, old boy. - Really? Got a horse, have you? What's his name? Did you catch it, dear? Dragonfly, Major. - Going to have a flutter, Fawlty? - No, no, no, no, no. No, Basil doesn't bet anymore, Major. Do you, dear? No, I don't, dear, no. That particular avenue of pleasure has been closed off for me. And we don't want it opened up again, do we, Basil? No, you don't, dear. No. The great warning-off of May 8th, yes. Good old Saint George, eh, Major? Well, he killed a hideous fire-breathing old dragon, didn't he? Ran it through with a lance, I believe. Mr. Fawlty! Mr. Fawlty! Is Missus... room no like. She want speak to you. Is problem. Ever see my wife making toast, Polly? Why... why'd he kill it anyway, Fawlty? I don't know, Major. Better than marrying it. Marrying it? But he didn't have to kill it, though, did he? I mean, he could've, uh, just not turned up at the church. Good morning, Madam. Can I help you? - Are you the manager? - I am the owner, Madam. - What? - I am the owner. I want to speak to the manager. - I am the manager, too. - What? I am the manager as well. Manaher. He manaher. Oh, you're Watt. I'm the manager! - What? - I'm the manager! Yes, I know. You've just told me. What's the matter with you? Now, listen to me. I booked a room with a bath. When I book a room with a bath, I expect to get a bath. You've got a bath. I'm not paying £7.20p per night, plus V.A.T., for a room without a bath! Here is your bath. You call that a bath? It's not big enough to drown a mouse. It's disgraceful! I wish you were a mouse. I'd show you. And another thing. I asked for a room with a view. Deaf, mad, and blind. This is the view as far as I can remember, madam. Yes, yes, this is it. When I pay for a view, I expect something more interesting than that. That is Torquay, madam. That is not good enough. Well, may I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically... Don't be silly. I expect to be able to see the sea. You can see the sea. It's over there between the land and the sky. I need a telescope to see that. Well, may I suggest that you consider moving to a hotel closer to the sea? Or preferably in it? Right. Now, listen to me. I'm not satisfied, but I've decided to stay here. However, I shall expect a reduction. Why, because Krakatoa's not erupting at the moment? Because the room is cold, the bath is too small, the view is invisible, and the radio doesn't work. No, the radio works. You don't. What? I'll see if I can fix it, you scabby old bat. - I think we got something then. - What? I think we got something then! What are you doing? Qué? Madam, don't think me rude, but may I ask, do you by any chance have a hearing aid? A what? A hearing aid! Yes, I do have a hearing aid. Would you like me to get it mended? ! Mended? It's working perfectly all right. No, it isn't! I haven't got it turned on at the moment. - Why not? - The battery runs down. Now, what sort of a reduction are you going to give me on this room? - 60% if you turn it on. - What? My wife handles all such matters. I'm sure she will be delighted to discuss it with you. I shall speak to her after lunch. You heard that all right, didn't you? - What? - Thank you so much. Lunch will be served at half past 12:00. Manuel! Manuel! Are you going to the betting shop today? - What? - Oh, don't you start! You go betting shop today? Oh, sí! Betting shop, sí! Now, I want you to put this on this little horse, Dragonfly, but... big secret. Sybil no know. No, no, it's lovely. It's just a bit buttery with my skin. I think I need something more... more... topazy, for my coloring, you know, more tonal. Have you got... have you got Cosmopolitan there? Page 42, you see Burt Reynolds? Well, there's a girl standing behind him looking at James Caan. That sort of color. Mm. Lovely. All right, I'll be in at 11:00. - Oh, Polly... - Hmm? I've got to check the laundry. Could you keep an eye on reception for me? Sure. Polly, Polly, where Mr. Fawlty? I don't know. What's the matter? I have money for him. He win on horse, but big secret, sh! Mrs. Fawlty, sh! Well, give it to me. I'll give it to him. Good afternoon, Miss Gatsby. Good afternoon, Miss Tibbs. Good afternoon. Good afternoon. Good afternoon. First they give me a room without a bath, then there's no lavatory paper! Would you like some of ours? We keep an extra supply. Yes. Would you like some of ours? Hello! Girl, there's no paper in my room. Why don't you check these things? That's what you're being paid for, isn't it? - We don't put it in the rooms. - What? We keep it in the lounge. In the lounge? ! I'll get you some. Do you want plain ones, or ones with our address on it? Address on it? ! How many sheets? Well, how many are you going to use? Manager! Just enough for one? Tell me. Manager! Manager! Yes? Testing... testing... There you are. I've never met such insolence in my life! I come down here to get some lavatory paper, and she starts asking me the most insulting, personal things I've ever heard in my life! I thought she wanted writing paper. - I'm talking to you, Watt! - Watt? Are you deaf? I said I'm talking to you. I've never met such insolence in my life. She said people use it in the lounge. - Yes, she thought... - Then she starts asking me... - No, please listen... - Appalling questions about... I can explain. No, you see, she thought you wanted to write. Wanted a fight? I'll give her a fight, all right! - No, no, no. Wanted to write! - What? Wanted to write. On the paper. Why should I want to write on it? I'll have some sent up to your room immediately. Manuel! That doesn't work either. What were you saying just now? - Turn it on. - What? Turn it... Turn... it... on. I can't read that. I need my glasses. Where are they? They're on your head, Mrs. Richards. I've lost them. They're the only pair I've got. I can't read a thing without them. Excuse me! - Now, I had them this morning... - Mrs. Richards... When I was buying the vase... I put them on to look at it, and then I had them at tea time... Mrs. Richards! Your glasses are there! There? Who put them in there? No, no, no! On your head! - What? - On your... look, On... I'm sorry about that, Mr. Fawlty. Manuel asked me to give this to you. Oh! Thank you, Polly, and, Polly... Not a word to the dragon, eh? - No. - Right. Oh, Manuel, get some loo paper, muchos, for 22. Uh, twent... sí. Are you blind? There were on my head all the time. Didn't you see? - Yes. - Didn't God give you eyes? Yes, but I don't use 'em, 'cause it wears the batteries out. Send my paper up immediately. What's all that? 22. Evening, Terry. Do you like Cavaliera Rusticana, Terry? I've never had it, Mr. Fawlty. You're in a good mood, Mr. Fawlty. Had a little bit of luck on the gee-gees. Not a word to the "trouble and strife", eh? Oh, de Camptown Ladies sing this song Doo dah, doo dah Camptown racetrack five miles long Doo-dah doo-dah day Goin' to run all night Goin' to run all day Gonna bet me money on the bobtail nag... I did it my way. Can't stand Frank Sinatra. "You make me feel so young". Rubbish. You seem very jolly, Basil. Hmm? You seem very jolly. Jolly? Yes, jolly. Sort of... happy. Oh, happy. Yes, I remember that. Not that I noticed, dear, no. I'll report it if it happens, though. Well, you look happy to me, Basil. No, I'm not, dear. All that dancing about, singing and rubbing your hands. Just my way of getting through the day, dear. The Samaritans were engaged. I thought maybe you were in love. Hah! Only with you, light of my life. Or had a bit of luck or something. Did Mr. Hawkins deliver the tonics, Terry? Yes, he did, Mrs. Fawlty. Manuel! Manuel! Oh, your horse, it win! It win! Shh! Shh! Manuel... You know nothing. You always say, Mr. Fawlty, but I learn. - What? - I learn, I learn. - No, no... - I get better! No, you don't understand. - I do! - No, you don't. I... I do understand that... Shh! Shh! You know nothing about the horse. I know nothing about the horse. Yes. Ah. Which horse? What? Which horse I know nothing? My horse, nitwit! Your horse, Nitwit? No, no, Dragonfly! - It won! - Yes, I know! I know it won, too! I put money on for you. You give me money, I go to betting shop... Yes, I know, I know! Why you say I know nothing? Look, look, look... You know the horse? Uh... Nitwit or Dragonfly? Dragonfly! There isn't a horse called... you're the nitwit! What is "wit-nit"? It doesn't matt... I could spend the rest of my life having this conversation! Please, please try to understand before one of us dies! I try. You're going to forget everything you know about Nitwit. No, no, Dragonfly. Dragonfly! Yes! Sí, sí, sí. Eventually. What? Eventually. Uh, at the end. No, no, no, forget it now! Now? Well, pretend you forget! Pretend? Well, don't say anything to anyone about the horse! I know that. You tell me that this morning! - Basil...? - So don't do it again! Yes, dear? It's Mrs. Richards. A fatal accident? She's had some money stolen. Oh, Mr. Fawlty, I tell Polly. That's all right, but don't tell anyone else, not even me! You know nothing! - Basil? - Yes, dear? You've got to help me handle this. She's in a frightful state. I can't get a word in edgewise. She's had £85 taken from her room. I said we'll search everyone, but she insists we send for the police. What do we do with someone like that? She just keeps on! Mrs. Richards, how very nice to see you! Are you enjoying your stay? There's no need to shout. I have my hearing aid on. Mrs. Richards, I've explained to my husband... I've just been up to my room. £85 has been taken from my bag, which I had hidden under the mattress. Oh, yes? It's a disgrace! I haven't been here a day. - What sort of staff do you employ? - Mrs. Richards... If you knew anything at all about running a hotel, this sort of thing wouldn't happen! Well, what have you got to say for yourself? What? Wait, wait, wait. I haven't got it turned up enough. Basil! I said I suggest... Oh, my head, my head! Has it come away? Did you bang your head? Yes! Yes! Oh, dear. Let me have a look. You'd better go and lie down before something else happens. Shut up! Why don't you call the police? We will, the moment we've searched the rooms. My money's been taken! Yes, yes, I know. Try not to speak. Is this a piece of your brain? £85. Take my arm. I don't need your arm, thank you. I can get down the stairs perfectly well by myself. "Down" the stairs? Don't stop when you get to the basement. Keep straight on. Give my regards to the earth's core. Are you sure you can manage? And if you give us any more trouble, I shall visit you in the small hours and put a bat up your nightdress. Well, that was fun, wasn't it? The odd moment like that, almost worth staying alive for, isn't it? It's nice to share a moment like that, isn't it? It's what marriage is all about. I know. I read it on the back of a matchbox. Basil, sometimes... Seriously, Sybil, do you remember when we were first... manacled together? We used to laugh quite a lot. Yes, but not at the same time, Basil. That's true. That was a warning, I guess. Should have spotted that, shouldn't I? Zoom! "What was that?" "That was your life, mate." "Oh. That was quick. Do I get another?" "Sorry, mate, that's your lot." Basil. Back to the world of dreams. Yes, dear? What are we going to do? Give it another 15 years? - About the money. Do you... - Aw, she's left it in her room, or eaten it or something. We'll get Manuel to go through the room. Polly can check the lounge... - I saw Polly with money just now. - Well, there you are. Quite a bit, too. She was counting it in here. Well, it's probably hers. No, she's been very short lately. I'll ask her... Well, you can't. You can't just ask her like that. - Why not? - It would be terribly rude, asking someone if money is theirs. That would be so embarrassing! Rubbish, Basil. Hello, Fawlty Towers. Polly Sherman? Yes, certainly, I'll get her straightway. Hang on. Polly! Terry, where's Polly? In there. - She saw you with the money! - What? She saw you counting the horse money! She's just coming... oh, hello, dear. Here she is. Found her in here. As I was just saying, Polly, my wife would like a word with you about a slightly delicate matter. It's not delicate, Basil. Don't be silly. He thinks it's embarrassing for me to ask you about that money I saw you with earlier on in the office. I wondered if someone had handed it in. Mrs. Richards has lost some. The money? In the office? You were counting it, weren't you? Did someone hand it in? Oh, no. No, it's mine. Yours? I won it. You won it? On the horse Mr. Fawlty got a tip on. I hope you don't mind, I... No, no, not at all. I didn't know you bet on the horses, Polly. Oh, I don't. Only I was in the town, and I passed the betting shop, and I thought, well, why not? Well, why not indeed? Jolly good question, eh, dear? Pity you didn't let me put something on, really. You realize how much we would've won? £75 for a £5 stake. Still, you know best. Those were the odds, were they, Basil? Yes, that's right, dear. 14-1. I listened in on the wireless just to make sure it had triumphed. Enjoy your winnings, Polly. Thank you. Polly. Yes, Mrs. Fawlty? What was the name of the horse? The name? Uh... I've gone blank. Birdbrain! Birdbrain? No, no, that came in third. Uh... Fishwife! - What? - No... No, not that. Small... Fly! Fly! Flying Tart! No, no, no, it got off to a flying start, and it's name... was Dragonfly! Thank you, Polly. If I find out the money on that horse was yours, you know what I'll do, Basil. You'll have to sew 'em back on first. - Ah, Major! - 6:00, old boy. Oh, so it is. Uh, Major... Can I offer you, uh... Oh, very decent of you. Just a quick one. Going to a memorial service. Ah. Tie's a bit bright, isn't it, Major? - What? - For a memorial service? Oh, I didn't like the chap. One of those. Know what I mean? - Cheers. - Uh, Major... could you do me a favor? Well, I'm a bit short myself, old boy. No, no, could you look after some money for me? I won it on that horse. Only Sybil's a bit suspicious, you see? She goes through my pockets some nights. Oh, absolutely. Which horse? - Uh, Dragonfly. - When's it running? No, it ran today. I won that on it. Oh. Well done, old boy. No, could you keep it? No, I couldn't do that, very decent of you... No, could you keep it just tonight? It's Sybil, you see? Secret. Ah, a present. Sort of, yes. Don't mention it. Mum's the word. I'll get it from you in the morning and bank it. Understood, old boy. Cheers. There you are, Mr. Mackintosh. There you are, Mr. Mackintosh. Good morning, Mr. Fawlty. Good morning, ladies. Hello. Fawlty Towers. Watt! I didn't say anything. Have you called the police yet? Excuse me, I'm trying to take a telephone call. Have you called them yet? Yes, yes, we have. When are they going to be here then? As soon as possible. They're very busy today. Busy. Humph! Lot of bloodshed at the Nell Gwyn Tea Rooms last night. Hello? Certainly, yes. Mrs. Richards? Mrs. Richards! Sorry. Telephone for you. - Here. - Yes? What's this for? - Uh, telephone calls? - But I haven't made any. - Uh... Cigarettes? - I don't smoke. There's nobody there. Hello? Yes, yes, I know she is. Yes. It's your sister! Well, what is it for? Umm... Drinks? Drinks? Me? We've been cut off. Hello? Look, you tell me, and I'll tell her. Even the phones don't work. Your sister says you've had an offer of £87,000 for your house in Brighton. 87,000? Give it to me. Don't be a fool, Stephanie. 92,750 I said, and I'm not taking a penny less. You tell him that. Why don't people listen? Well? Well, let's scrub that 32p then, shall we? Let's enjoy ourselves. Oh, thank you very much. Oh, Major! Major! Um, can I have it now? - What, old boy? - The money. The money I gave you last night? What... what is all this about? You remember I gave you some money just before you went to that remembrance service? - Remembrance service? - Yes. I don't remember that, old boy. It was for a chap you didn't like. You know, he was... one of those...? One of those what? Well... Pansy? Yes. Which one? No, no, no, no. You were in your best suit. Was I? Oh, yes, of course! I went to the theater, of course! - No, no... - Yes, yes, with Winnie Atwell, yes. Winnie Atwell? Well, Marjorie Atwell then, Marjorie. I always call her Winnie because... well, because she looks like Winnie. She's not black. Black? Churchill wasn't black. Look, look, look, I gave you £75. You put it in there. What do you mean by telling me you called the police? You've done no such thing. Your wife's just told me you're still searching the rooms. Well, I thought she'd called them. You lying hound! - Mrs. Richards... - Go and call them now, immediately. Mrs. Richards, we will, the moment we've searched... Right. I shall call them myself then. Couldn't we just wait until... I've never seen such a place! All right, Mrs. Richards. Would you like to use the office phone? What? In here. Thank you. Basil! Get the key and check her room. Right. I found it, Fawlty! It was in my pocket! Yes, in my new suit! - Major, sh! - In here, you see? - Stuffed right down. - Can I have it? I don't know how it got there, you, see, because I make a point of keeping my money in my hip pocket. Yes, please! Please! - What, old boy? - Can I have it? Oh, yes, yes, the money. Yes, yes, of course. Good God, it's gone! No, no, in there! Basil? - Here it is! - What's that? I found it, Mrs. Fawlty. The money. Oh, that's marvelous! Mrs. Richards! What? We found your money. No! The Major's found your money. - No! N-nn... - What? Thank you so much, Major. There you are. I told you it would turn up. What is it, Basil? Bit of luck, eh, Fawlty? It's £10 short. Oh, dear. It's not! £10 short? Oh, my God! Don't worry, we'll have a whip round! Basil, stop! That's where Ted Bryar's been living for the last nine years. - His doctor? - I say probably. She's unmarried, lives in El Paso, she's written several books and papers, mainly published in medical circles. She's a popular lecturer. She's scheduled to speak several symposiums this year, and tonight in Dallas. That's it. That's all I got. Garcia is in the process of looking deeper, but I don't really see how this lineup is going to be much of a help to us, Gideon. Well, let's just hope none of them makes the situation worse. They're messing with you out there, Ted. Trying to weaken you. You need resolve. Hey. Why aren't they helping us? We're going to get through this just fine. We? He isn't pissed at us. You're the government agent. He probably thinks we're all agents. He believes almost everyone is. - I'm not with any government agent. - He's trying to confuse you. I'm with you. Big Brother, right? Newthink, newspeak? Hate is love, war is peace. He's laughing at you. - Stop it! - No, Ted. It's okay. - He doesn't mean anything. - Yeah, chill. I support you. Screw the government. Make him sit down. All right, how do we remove a microchip that's not there? His speech is lucid. There's no sign of neologisms, word salad or loosening of associations. As long as he can systematize, he'll be able to keep his thinking relatively organized. Organized enough to see through any game we try to throw at him? And if he's convinced it's in his arm, and not in a place like his lower back or his neck... An incision means he's going to be watching. Maybe we can just convince him that he's been looking in the wrong place. Or we could fake it. Conceal a chip in the palm. A little sleight of hand. Come on, Reid, what are you talking about? A magic trick? - Yeah, I'm talking about a magic trick. - No. I used to do it during college exams. I can make it appear, I can make it disappear. We can't risk giving him another agent as a hostage. We have to do something. - All right, Reid, let's go. Teach it to me. - What? No. Look, if you can do it, I can do it. Show it to me. I've been practicing this my whole life. We have less than 30 minutes. Reid, I am not about to let you get on that train with an armed psychotic. We don't have any other choice, do we? No. We don't have any other choice. Dr. Bryar is definitely one of the top physicists in the world. He's written hundreds of papers on M-Theory. Dr. Bryar is definitely one of the top physicists in the world. He's written hundreds of papers on M-Theory. I don't understand any of it. Oh, he worked for the government for several years in the '80s. Probably the source of his delusions. He's been institutionalized for the past nine years. Until Dr. Deaton took him on a field trip. Yeah. What we need is a strategy. - I'll try to talk to him. - You think that's wise? Ted? You feel a little bit better now? You're in no danger here. - These people don't want to hurt you. - Sure they don't. The FBI agent just happened to be on the train today. She wasn't following you. Wasn't watching you. She expects you to believe that? Let them go, Ted. I'll stay with you. You and I will do this together, only you need to let these people go. I will wait with you. No one wants to hurt you. We don't want to hurt you. We want to kill you. - No! - No, it's okay, Ted. - Ted, it's okay. - Don't! I will make sure that they never take it out of you. If you hurt one more person on this train, I swear to God, I'll make them leave it in you forever. What? Everything all right in there, Dr. Bryar? I want it out. Well, I'm sending two technicians in to remove it. No! One. One technician. Well, it's a delicate procedure. It requires... One technician. - Or every agent on this train dies. - Okay. You need to relax. - We still have 20 minutes. - Not any more. I want it out now. Right now! Now! - I don't know about this. - It'll look better when it's covered. - With what? - Blood. Reid, do not take this vest off. In hostage situations, SWAT sometimes won't even tell the negotiator when they're deciding to go in. Do you know why that is? Because the slightest change in tone of voice or choice of words - can give the whole thing away. - That's right. Don't make eye contact with Elle. You're a technician. You've never seen her before. - Got it. - And remember, play into the guy's fantasy. Believe it yourself. Actually, did you know that dentists and surgeons have been recruited to secretly implant these during otherwise normal medical procedures? This has been happening on and off since the late 1930s. - Told me to believe. - Let's go. All right. One government-issued microchip. You got to relax, man. The chip's a lot smaller than I'm used to doing it with, all right? - I'm pulling the plug on this. - No, no. Hold on. One more. Take his chip out, then get off the train, you understand? Tell him you need to get back to the Higher Authority, say you have guidelines to follow, whatever. Do not stay in there with him. That's an order. Yes, sir. - Can you guys do me a favor? - Anything. Could at least one of you look like you're going to see me again? See you when you get back. - No! No! - Get up! Tell your men to get whatever target they can. If this starts to go bad, we're going to go in. Probably not going to have a great shot. Take the one they can get. - That's far enough, Ted. - That's far enough. Hello, everyone. Here to remove a chip from Dr. Bryar. Check him out. Take the vest off. I want to see you. I don't have any weapons. The Higher Authority doesn't authorize it for technicians. Take it off! Damn it, Reid. I said, "Don't take the vest off." Come closer. I want to see both of your hands at all times. You sit across from me. Why are you so nervous? I told you. I'm not used to being around guns. This is going to probably sting a little bit. Whoa. Did you see that? I knew it. I knew it. Hey, look. He's got it. He's got it. He's got the chip. I've gotta go to the Higher Authority. I was supposed... Not yet! Turn it on. Turn the chip on. Excuse me? - Get off the train, Reid. - No, no, something's wrong. Get off the train. - Get out of there. - Why isn't he moving? How many shots would it take to move in? Two. First blows the window. Second takes Bryar down. Yeah, and he'll be shooting after the windows go. - It's the best we can do. - All right. Stand by. Turn it on, or I pull the trigger. - I can't turn it on. - Why not? Why not? - Because it has to be implanted. - She's right. The chip derives its power from tiny electrical impulses fired between neurons. It has to be in your skin to work. - I really gotta... - Sit down! You're not going anywhere. See? Dude actually had a chip in his arm. All right, it seems calm for now. Reid's still on the train. Now we have two agents in there. It's probably the Higher Authority. I told you. I have protocols to follow. I was supposed to go right back out there. I have rules. Answer the phone. You want me to stay, I'm obviously going to stay. But, I mean, you're going to be the one that has to explain it to the Man. Whoa, "the Man"? They're still trying to tell you what to do, Ted. Why can't you all just leave me alone? Leave you alone? - Stay out of this. - No. The government does watch us. You got microwaves and satellites. I'm with you, man. - Do not agitate him. - Screw you. Dr. Bryar, answer the phone. My old man used to have tracking devices in his cars. He said it's for theft, but it's so he can find out where I go. And what about personal recordings in televisions? You don't think someone's monitoring everything you watch? You know how many patents are issued for devices to monitor people? Look it up, man. Here he comes, Ted. He's the agent who's playing the hero. Answer the phone, Ted. - Stop this. It isn't going to help. - What the hell do you know? Ted, he doesn't know what he's talking about. - He's just a kid. - Who you calling a kid? Sit down! Oh, now you're going to tell me what to do? He'd only have one gun if you weren't here. - I'm with you, man. - He's not with us, Ted. He's not with us at all. Answer the phone, Dr. Bryar. It's the Higher Authority. They're coming for you, Ted. No! - Teddy... - Oh, damn. Damn. Oh. - What? - What happened, Ted? - I did what you asked for. - I'm tired. - I've been fighting you for so long. - You don't have to fight any more. He's a liar, Ted. I said it all ends today. These agents. It all ends today. - What does that mean? - It means he's decided on an endgame. He's going to kill himself and the hostages. Ted, no one on this train is an agent but me. No one else. I'm the only one. You can let everybody else go. I don't think so, Ted. Do you? Dr. Bryar, we need to get this woman help. I don't think so, Ted. Do you? Dr. Bryar, we need to get this woman help. Who's going to help me? The Higher Authorities can help you. They're not what you think. They're not the enemy. They can help you, Dr. Bryar. Not any more. - Let me know when HRT's ready. - Got it. Gideon, you send those guys in there, hostages are going to die. Yeah. You don't do something, they're going to die anyway. It's not gone. I know. Well, you said when the chip came out, it would go away. It's... I still hear it. Then there must be more of them. You said it was the only one, Leo. I can still feel the buzzing. The burning. - Dr. Bryar? - What? - Reid. - It's all right, Elle. Is there another one? You know there isn't. - Lf there were, Leo would have told you. - Don't listen, Ted. Make it stop! I know what it's like. - Make it stop! - I know what the voices are like. He's trying to trick you. The voices. They won't stop. They've been talking to you since you were a child. He's telling you I'm not real. He is lying to you. You're lying to me. That's Leo speaking. That's not even Dr. Bryar. Why don't you let him think for himself, Leo? You... Can you see him? - Yeah, he's right there. - Shoot this kid. Why don't you let him make his own decisions? Shoot him! The voices. They helped you, right? It's where you get your ideas from. While the other kids were outside in the playground, you were inside reading, studying, learning. The voices wouldn't stop. They helped you understand things that other people could never realize and... Then as you grew older, it became almost a responsibility. Right? A responsibility to use that ability. To use your knowledge. String theory. The Theory of Everything. Shoot him, Ted. Then M-Theory, encompassing all the strings, unifying the theories. - Don't push him, Reid. - You know what's funny? Most people say that M-Theory can never be proved because the mathematical tools do not yet exist. - Don't push him. - But you see it, right? Am I right? You can see the different strings unifying the dimensions. The gravitational infinities canceling each other out. You see them. Right, Dr. Bryar? You see them because you have the tools. Your mind is that tool. - He's one of them, Ted. One of them. - Shut up! It's going on too long. I'm going in. And I have to believe that if you put your mind to it, you'll realize that only you can make Leo stop. You can make him stop by understanding him. By understanding that he is a liar and he only wants bad things for you. - I need to believe that, Dr. Bryar. - I said kill him, Ted! I had to. He was going to kill us. I had to. God forgive me. We need an ambulance. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's a little late for all that. You going to the hospital? I'm going to ride in with the psychiatrist. See you over there. - She going to be all right? - Yeah. I think so. Gideon, will you tell him that I don't need to go to the hospital? Regulations are regulations. - You all right? - Yeah. I'm fine, Dad. - Elle. - Yeah? Don't ever call me Dad again. How do you think he'd feel about "Mom"? Let me know when you're going to do that, so I can run. Reid, you probably saved my life in there. Probably? I totally saved your life. And I'm pretty certain that it was caught on tape. You know what you said in there? To Bryar? That you know what it's like... The guy was a delusional psychotic. I was playing into his fantasy. Go to the hospital. I'll see you there. All right? Albert Einstein said, "The question that sometimes drives me hazy, "'Am I or the others crazy?"' Here it comes. Thanks. This is a comparison of DNA taken from the body in the grave, and from a toothbrush that belonged to David Stubbs. It matches, it's him. His mother's coming to hear the results. How much does she know? She knows he was found in his grandfather's grave. She doesn't know that it looks as though he was alive when he was buried. Does she need to know that? She's asked to see the body. Well, you should do your best to put her off. Well, you can't stop her if she wants to see him. Some people don't believe it until they see it. I know. But it's her son in there. I think maybe I should do this. Sure? Just don't let her see the body. Oh, please. No. Not David. I'm sorry. Who did this? We hope to find out more from the post-mortem. Can I see him? You have the right to, of course, but I'd advise you not to. Many changes have occurred to the body. He was my baby, my boy. From what I've read of David's work, he had a strong belief that death was not the end. You did well there, Nikki. I remembered that stuff about the resurrection of the body from my gran's funeral. Wouldn't want too many resurrections of the body. We'd be out of a job. I worry about you. You'll be speaking in tongues next. When are you going to accept the truth, sinner? I wish I could find some truth right now. Still looking for a reason? I'm not sure there is a reason. There's a reason for everything. Well, perhaps you could help me find one because at the moment I am at a loss to explain why a perfectly healthy young woman drowns in three inches of water. Ready for this? Think so. The body looks to be that of a young adult male. Conspicuous signs of wet decomposition. The wrists are tied with wire. There are also marks on the ankles consistent with bindings that are no longer there. Multiple linear wounds of varying depths around the ligatures. Suggests desperate attempts to get free. The mouth is open and what appears to be soil in the back of the pharynx. I think he WAS buried alive. The larynx is filled with watery soil. Further soil is present in the esophagus and trachea bronchial tree. And... Paper? More reading material for Sykes. What are we dealing with, Leo? Not sure I want to find out. They still on the multiple killings? Yes. It's getting grizzlier by the day. Lucky them. Joke. So what have you got to stop me arresting the wife beater? You don't have enough evidence to arrest Chris Pivcevic. We know nobody else could have got in to kill her. Perhaps nobody did. Perhaps it was something physiological, natural causes. You missed something in the post-mortem? Great. So what now? I'm waiting for the histology section - see if they tell us something. Tell us something you missed the first time round you mean. Look, it doesn't matter who found the fingerprint, or who spotted the DNA, or who realised the necklace wasn't stolen. It's not about looking good! It's about finding the truth. It's a process. All sweetness and light? He's like Columbo on speed. How's yours? Oh, he's really pretty good. He seems to agree with me. You mean he's dangerously insane? It's near impossible to concentrate today. Doesn't feel right without Henry here. What is it? There's a bloke hanging around. Where? I can't see anyone. He was just there. Well, I'll go and have a proper look. There's still no through line. There's no motive that links them all. Must be the same person but he's got an interesting range of techniques. From the controlled to the frenzied. I can't work out whether we're dealing with someone who's ruthlessly deliberate or haphazardly unpredictable. As opposed to a well-rounded individual, you mean? Hello! Let's have a look at this paper then. We'll confirm, but it could be from the same publication, Ethics Today, that was used in the ransom note. Do you want to see something clever? Now, the text has been damaged by internal acids, but if we use this special illumination like so... Hey presto! The UV light is set at a frequency that allows even pigment... Yeah, it's OK, Frank. Resurrection of Je... Jesus...drama... plications...for 'nkind. "The resurrection of Jesus has dramatic implications for mankind." We probably don't have enough words here to determine which article this came from. I know where this came from. This was a piece by David Stubbs. It was the piece that Paul Fordyce objected to so forcefully. It makes perfect sense. Perfect, sick sense. "If the resurrection of Jesus has dramatic implications for mankind "then it must have dramatic implications for philosophy. "It dares to answer the question that philosophers have been seeking an answer to. "The fact that it's an unexpected, outrageous answer is no grounds for dismissing its veracity." How does this help us? He killed Dave Stubbs. Who did? Paul Fordyce. Paul Fordyce showed utter contempt towards Stubbs and his, how does he put it, metaphysical mumbo jumbo. Don't you see it? He made him eat his own words, literally. He buried him alive. He was making a sick point about the resurrection. It's a bit of an imaginative leap. It's a symbol with an obvious meaning. So he killed Lucy Philips? Yes. And Tony Lane, Henry Elliot? What was the name given by the person who called Tony Lane out? Jeremy Bentham. A philosopher's name. He's our man, Leo. OK, so he disliked Dave Stubbs' world view? What about the others? Why not? Why stop at one? Especially if you have a supposed philosophical justification for it. I read his articles. All that struff about the universe being indifferent to pain and suffering. And there being no point in using terms like "good" and "evil". You remember the piece I told you about? This is a guy who sees no objection to people suffering if it is necessary for the production of a great man. I don't know. Hello? Tom? It's Nikki. Is this a bad moment? Ah, no worse than usual. You sound like you're in a train station. Yeah, there's Lots of people coming and going here. Listen. The paper in Dave Stubbs' stomach. It's an article he wrote for Ethics Today. Before he was buried alive, I think he was forced to swallow it. Who would want to make him eat his own words? The creep who doesn't need a crutch. You shouldn't be using that in here. It's police business. Tom? Where are you? I'll tell you later. I've gotta go. sorry. This dose was much stronger, so expect to feel worse tomorrow. Thanks for coming. How's things? very busy. So let's stick to the real reason why you asked me here. You said it was important. I need you to loan me your share of the estate. I'll repay you in two years, with interest. I need you to help me, Nik. Help you what? Sort out your debts or have you found another sure-fire investment that can't lose? I made a bad mistake with the cars. I was tempted and I succumbed. It was a mistake. I admit it. But I am tying to right that error. Can't you see that? I need you to believe me on this. That requires faith that I just don't have. There isn't anyone else I can ask. What do you want me to do? I need you to just sign the papers from the solicitor, approving the release of your share of the will. I see. You've made all the arrangements already, have you? I will pay you back. I'd really appreciate it, Nik. I'll think about it. Do you have to go so soon? Yeah, I've got a lot to do. You're more interested in dead people than the living! At least the dead don't lie. We'd like to take a sample of your DNA. Dr Alexander could take it if you agree. Fine. I'm happy to be of help. OK. Dave Stubbs attended a family funeral on December the 7th. It was a Tuesday. Can you remember where you were? Yes. I was here. In London. I remember that much because he asked me to hold the fort while he went to his grandmother's funeral. Grandfather's. Whatever. He said he'd be attending a funeral. Well, we have found your editor. Gosh. Where? In Africa? No, in a grave near his parents' home in Surrey. He was buried alive. How extraordinary. What's particularly extraordinary about it, well apart from the fact that he'd been buried alive, was that he'd been made to swallow a page from his own magazine. An article he'd written. A piece you described as "mumbo jumbo". - What are you implying? - Nothing. It's just an odd coincidence. I object to the insinuation, both personally and philosophically. Coincidence is a by-product of the random universe, separate events linked by nothing more than man's desire to create meaning. Some people see meaning in connected events. That's because you are desperate for answers that are not forthcoming and attributing meaning to events where there really is none. I strongly disliked Mr Stubbs' world view and objected to him infecting the journal with it, but I'm not so callous as to not see the tragedy in all of this. Although in an indifferent universe there's no room for tragedy, is there? You've been reading something more than women's magazines. You made him swallow his own words. Doctor Alexander... It's all right. I came in to help solve these atrocious crimes. Yes, if you could take the DNA sample, Doctor Alexander. Thank you, Mr Fordyce. If you would just open your mouth. Tom, you saw how he reacted, how he shifted when you mentioned the article. His whole antagonism to Dave Stubbs' beliefs. It's not enough. You can't charge a man because he believes in nothing. Tom? God, what's wrong with you? It's the chemo. Chemo? I have cancer. What do you mean? What sort of cancer? The sort that kills you quickly. Why didn't you tell me? Well, I didn't think it was relevant. Tom, you have cancer. That is relevant. What's the prognosis? 80-20 against me surviving the year. They never really know, people do de_ these predictions. Let's hope. Can we change the subject? Shouldn't you be making the most of your life instead of chasing after murderers? Well, I figured if I kept busy, it might just go away. Oh, right. That's very sensible of you, very male. You know, that guy really made me sick. Hi. Leo, I've finished the histology on Dawn Pivcevic and all the organs are normal except for this. I think the endometrium shows changes of pregnancy and there's a cluster of cells from an embryo. She was pregnant? Yes, just a few days. You were lucky to sample the right bits for histology. They couldn't get pregnant, that's why they'd come off IVF. It's not unusual for couples to come off IVF and then get pregnant. That's how Theresa got pregnant with Cassie. Morning sickness. She was making the doll throw up. Who? The little girl at the scene. She wasn't re-enacting Dawn's death, she must have seen her vomiting at some time. Early stages of pregnancy could bring on nausea and vomiting and faintness. Especially with the remaining hormones from the IVF. And if she got a bit tipsy... She could easily faint. How am I going to explain to the husband that his wife, who couldn't get pregnant, got pregnant, which in part killed her? If it wasn't so tragic it would be a joke. Hello. Hi. We've met before. At the garden centre. Oh, yes. Didn't you work for Henry Elliot? Yes. Ah, is Detective Chief Inspector Tom Wimber here? No, I'm afraid not. Oh, the police station said he would be here. You've just missed him. Oh. Are you OK? Um, maybe you could help. Um, do you think we could talk inside? Sure. It might be nothing. We had this guy hanging around the garden centre. Elly, our receptionist, saw him across the road two days before Henry Elliot was killed. Did you confront him? To be honest, um, I was afraid. Ah, I know him. He's this guy I was at college with, we did the same philosophy course. This bloke called Paul Fordyce. Paul Fordyce? Yes. Do you know him? The police are already questioning him. What, in connection with these murders? I thought he was weird, but not a killer. I can't talk about the case. You'll have to talk to the police. You don't think he's after me? Well, I don't know. Ah, can you think of any reason why he might be? No! Ah, I, I hope not. I haven't seen him since college. I didn't have you down as an academic. No, I, I'm not. Which is why I left. I found the philosophy too dry. I wanted to get on with life instead of talking about what it means all the time. So what can you tell me about Paul Fordyce? Ah, I didn't know him well. He was something of a recluse. He was arrogant. He saw himself as a proper nihilist. He was into Nietzsche. "That which does not kill us makes us strong" etc. I had an argument with him about it once in the pub. He talked about tying to live by those ideals. He disliked people - he regarded them as his inferiors. He saw himself as a great man. Superior to the rim-ram. Oh, the bungled and the botched as Nietzsche would say! Well, that explains his arrogance. Is he seriously under suspicion for three murders though? Really, I can't discuss it. Take a seat. Can I get you anything? I'm fine. I've, um, I've completed some microscopic tests on Dawn. And...they show a very early pregnancy. Maybe just a few days. But... the results are irrefutable. It does give us an explanation of what happened. I think that she fainted. So combination of the effects of IVF hormones and the pregnancy itself and alcohol would be enough. And when she fell... she struck her head and remained unconscious long enough to drown. It makes me very angry that such a thing can happen. But... All right. If it's the truth. It's all right. She said... she had a dream she was pregnant. I know this. Have you, um, have you seen the original? No. It's in the National Galley. It's worth looking at, in the flesh so to speak. It's very impressive. Are you religious? No. But, ah, I'm drawn to these images. Why? Looking for reassurance, I suppose. Have you found it? No. But I keep going back to look. Just in case. So, um, what am I supposed to do about this Paul Fordyce? I'll let the police know and you should talk to them. I can get them to pick you up from here if you like? Oh, no. I'll be OK. Silly boy. I had a chat with the pathologist. They're doing quite well. What do you mean? They're connecting you with three murders. Don't get all hu_. It's the truth, isn't it? We, or rather you, left a messier trail than I hoped we would. We were doing so well too. That rich girl was good, I liked that. Fake ransom note was a little elaborate, but it was creative. The note was incredibly unlucky. And then there was the pizza boy. Loved that. Straight to the point. But you ruined it all from the very start with the Christian. It wasn't so clever making Stubbs swallow the article. It's a pity it proved as indigestible as you said it was. I don't know why I did that. I got carried away. Ah, that's the thing. You get carried away. I hadn't counted on you being so histrionic. Look what happens when you try one on your own. You're not really a man of action. You're better suited to the desk, to study, to the... How did Hegel put it? The adoration of the question mark. An_ay...my real bone of contention is you going and killing Henry all on your own. What the hell did you do that for? It was against everything we had agreed - random selection. When they came to me about the note, you doubted me. I doubted your ability to execute a murder without broadcasting it to the world. And so has it proved. I wanted to show you that I have a heart for this. Heart? Heart is exactly what we don't need. We started this because we could. We didn't want reasons. We didn't need anything a crass as a reason. Pure killing without motive. Wasn't that our challenge? And then you go and kill my boss. You tying to make things easy for them? I mean, I like a challenge, but... Well, that was just stupid. Don't worry. They have no idea who killed Henry. What are we gonna do? We'll go back to basics. We'll mess up the pattern that they think is emerging. What do you suggest? I've got you a double. Is that OK? Beats chemo! Cheers. MOBILE PHONE RINGS sorry. Yes? Nik? Did you get the paperwork? Yes. I haven't had time to Look at it. Nik, I really need you to sign it. Soon. Nikki? I will. But right now I'm... Don't tell me, you're busy. Yes. OK. I'll sign them and send them. Thanks. I have to go. Gas company? My father. He's in prison for fraud. When my grandmother died, she left us some money. He says it's to pay back the people he's defrauded. It's all done under this pretence of "I wanna get to know you better." Can't blame him for that. What do you mean? Well, he must be very proud of you. Must want to have a relationship with his daughter. Yeah, I just don't trust that that is what he wants. Sounds like he's tying to put things right, paying people back. Maybe you need to stop being embarrassed by him and forgive him. You really say what you think, don't you? I haven't got the energy or the time to pretend any more. MOBILE PHONE RINGS sorry. Oh, it's Leo. Hello? Yeah, he's right here. Why? What's happened? You're right. It's so much better, purer, just... to do it, without recourse to who or why. When do we kill again? I think that'll be your last one. What? You've made too many mistakes. But you said yourself, the less we care, the more likely we are to get away with it. I'm not sure we have the same motivation. But I do. I have the same ideals. I've shown that, haven't I? I don't believe I have any ideals. But you do. All that you said to me, the first time we decided to do it about practising what we preach. I did it to see if we could and then I did it for the pure love of killing. But you... I can't help thinking you've done it because of me. For me. Yes. But I also did it because... because, cos I... I didn't want to be a hypocrite. I wanted to break free of the usual constraints. And yes because of you, Richard. I admired you. You're not like everyone else. The rim-ram. You're unique. Hi. Her name's Carla Burns, lives around the corner. Looks like she was coming home from work. OK, clear. Anything left in her bag? There was money still in there. Doesn't look like a robbery. Broad daylight, no attempt to hide the body. Another victim lying face up. We've a weapon! Even as we speak they'll be looking at the body of the woman you killed. WE killed. Our clever friends will be piecing it all together, tying to make sense of it all. I'm tired of all this Miss Scarlet in the ballroom with the dagger crap. It's all so crass. Socrates was right, the noble cause is to resist no more. What do you mean? We've been pretending for too long. Pretending that we don't care about life, and yet we cling to it. We try and preserve it at the expense of others. If we're so nihilistic, why do we cling to life with such desperation like everyone else? But we're not like everyone else. No. Let's deprive them of the explanations they so crave. Let's prove how little this life means. Why are you talking like this? To take your own life is the only true response to the universe. Why don't you join me? Let's do the one pure thing we can. Let's stay free. Cause of death 1A, stab wounds to the back. The most important of which in relation to cause of death is stab wound two, which is a track puncturing the heart. Thanks. Forensics on the knife. Dimensions suggest it could easily have been the same one to kill her, Tony Lane and Henry Elliot. SOCO say it's covered in prints. Paul Fordyce. There's no obvious signs of anyone else being present. We'll confirm at the PM, but at the moment everything points towards self-suspension. Doesn't look as if there are other marks on the neck to suggest someone strung him up after ligature. I just don't want to believe it. All this wisdom didn't do you much good, did it? Kept his specs on. There's a large fingerprint in the middle of the glass. Help! Tom! Tom? It's OK, Tom, we'll get you to the hospital. Are the paramedics still here? Get the ambulance back! Tom? I don't wanna go. You have to. I don't wanna go there. We just need to get you to the hospital and they'll be able to help. I don't wanna die alone. I'm afraid. Someone called an ambulance? I think it's time you took a sickly. Let's see if we can get you more comfortable. Don't be afraid. All that struff about the resurrection. About there being something else after this. Do you believe it? Don't say that you do to make me feel better. I believe... that you shouldn't be afraid. Hi I'm here to see Victor Alexander. You're his daughter, yes? Yeah. Your father left us yesterday. What? He's been released. He didn't tell you? No. Failed to mention it. So this is the cause of all the trouble. Expecting something more impressive? It's amazing what a collection of flesh and bones is capable of. Hello. We have someone else in the room. Leo? Print on the glasses isn't Paul Fordyce's and we can't find a match on the database. Someone helped him kill himself? Or we've been dealing with a double act. 'We have entrusted our sister Vivian to God's mercy and now we commit her body to the ground. 'Earth to earth. 'Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust 'in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ# 'I know this. Have you, ah, have you seen the original? 'It's worth looking at, in the flesh so to speak. 'It's very impressive. Are you religious? No. 'But I'm drawn to these images. Why? 'Looking for reassurance, I suppose# Richard! This glass is new. There'll be two sets of prints on it. One will be mine, the other will match the print you're looking for. Nikki? The other print belongs to the person who helped Paul Fordyce kill Dave Stubbs, Lucy Philips, Tony Lane, Henry Elliot and Carla Burns, and Paul Fordyce himself. The guy who came here and said he was being followed by Paul Fordyce. The guy who picked up that picture and said that he liked looking at these images just to see if they hinted at the life beyond. Who couldn't resist turning the bodies over so he could look into their eyes. Richard Henderson. It's a match. Armed police. Armed police! Area one, clear! Area three, clear. Room clear, stand down. Is there any news on Richard yet? Well, he wasn't at the flat. We've done our bit. You've certainly done yours. You all right? He'll run. Start afresh. They've sent out an alert to all airports and stations. But what if he's already gone? Hello? What? Fantastic. OK, just hold on, would you? Someone matching the description of Richard Henderson boarded the Eurostar to Brussels. The police picked him up at Ashford. They've got him! I've been tying to work out what I did wrong. Come on, it's killing me, what was it? Something I said or... It was something you touched. The picture. Caught out by Jesus! How irritating! Irritating? Is that your summary of what's happened? Oh, please, don't expect me to express guilt. Come on! You killed those people. Why? Do we have to? Why? No reason. Is that all you have to say on the matter? What is this need to have a reason for everything? Oh, of course, I forget, you're a pathologist. You tend to be very literal about things like reasons. When you killed them, when you looked into their eyes, what were you hoping to see? Nothing. Nothing? Killers meet the same end as saints. There is no heaven, no hell no final judgment. You hope'! Aren't you gonna ask me if I had a troubled childhood? try and unravel the meaning of it all? I've got more meaningful things to do with my life. Tom? I'm still here. I've been thinking. Not about work, I hope. About you. Really? I've been thinking about you and your father. You need to forgive him. If you don't want to end up like me. What do you mean? Bitter. Bitter about what? Not marrying. Not having children. Buying my life in my work. You have a father. Whatever he's done in the past, forgiving him is better than ignoring him. Tom, you shouldn't be spending your last... What, lecturing you? Why not? I hope your gran is right. About what? The next life. Specially that bit about the new body. I'm gonna need that! If we don't get new bodies, it'll be easy to spot the post-mortems in heaven. Thanks for being here. I'm glad I'm here, Tom. Grand Chief, it is Yongeum Island, Yi Do-hyung's hideout. You called for me? I don't see Yum Moon. Where is he? Go and bring him. Yes, sir. We will land here. It'll be about a half day's march from this landing site to their camp. Was there any guard at the landing site? It is a large island. They don't have enough men to cover this area. Why don't we just go straight to where Yi Do-hyung's ship is docked, and attack them? Lt'll be to our disadvantage if they see us coming. We are outnumbered. Where is Yum Moon? Head Chief is not on the island. What do you mean? He has gone to attack Buryung in order to secure provisions and weapons. Where is Chief Jang? He has gone with him. Chun-tae, listen carefully. When we land, I'm going to make a run for it while Yum Moon is attacking Buryung. But if we get caught, we're dead. Why would we get caught? I just don't have a good feeling about this. Jang Bogo will kill us at this rate. The best plan is to run away. Got that? Are we going to work for Madam Jami? We can decide that later. - Got that? - Yes, sir. Chief Jang. Yes. I have never disobeyed the master until now. I know. You would obey his orders even if they led you to your death. I still remember the time you jumped off a cliff without a word when the master ordered you to. At the time, I couldn't understand why the master was so cruel to you. But with time, I've learned how much he cares for you. It bothers me that I've disobeyed him. But I am doing this for him. We will self-destruct at this rate. He will understand my loyalty for him when we return with provisions and weapons from our attack on Buryung. You'd better answer my questions truthfully. Then your life will be spared. Yes. Where are Yi Do-hyung and Yum Moon now? Master is on the ship, and the head chief is not on the island. Then where has he gone? He's gone to secure provisions and weapons. How many men did he take with him? I don't know the exact number, but there must be dozens. Yum Moon must have gone to attack Buryung. I guess innocent lives will be lost. What will you do? It's too late to go to Buryung. We will wait here and attack when night falls. - Now is the time. - Yes, sir. Is anyone there? This must have been the reason for my troubled dream last night. Did you hold a nice funeral for Master Sul? I am deeply sorry for his death. Do not insult his name with your despicable mouth. Grand Chief Jang, I have no regrets, even if I were to die now. But if there is one thing... It is that we are bound by an evil fate. If we had met under better circumstances, I'd have liked to use your talents to accomplish a grand enterprise. I'm not saying this in order to beg for my life. Even now, if we join hands we could have the world. Silence! Many people have lost their lives and were taken as slaves for your ridiculous dreams. Even if I could gain the world by removing their grudges, it would be meaningless. Do you know why I became a pirate? Born a common man, there was nothing I could do in Shilla. The only way I could rise above my station in life was with a sword. You were also born a slave. Then you must understand what I mean. Since you hold my life in your hands, I will ask you again. Will you join forces with me? Then there will be nothing we can't achieve. Do not beg for your life so pathetically with your vile tongue. Countless people, including myself, have suffered a life more miserable than death because of you. Even if I forget those days, I could never be rid of this grudge inside me. Now... I will put an end to your shameful life. Kill me. Boss. In your next life, please live your life for those poor souls whose lives you have taken. I have finally gotten the revenge I've dreamed of, but I don't understand why I feel so heavy-hearted. Don't be confused. Yi Do-hyung's life was marred by many people's grudges, but you could live a life to benefit those who suffer. And I believe you can do just that. Shouldn't we cut off Yi Do-hyung's head, and display it at the marketplace? That will appease the grudges of some of the people. Leave his body here for Yum Moon to see. We will have the upper hand in a battle with Yum Moon, if he goes berserk after seeing Master Yi's corpse. We will return to Chunghae and regroup for now. All right. We have secured enough food and weapons. We must pull out before the reinforcements get here. All right. Head Chief. It seems that Joong-dal and Chun-tae have run away. I will send men after them. We will pull out without them. Master... Master. Master. Master! - Madam. - What is it? What are you doing here? Please take me in. I do not wish to invite trouble by taking in Master Yi's man. Leave. But you promised you'd take me in. The situation has changed. I must break that promise. I mean to sever my ties with Master Yi. You don't have to... that tie is already severed. The master is dead. What do you mean he's dead? Jang Bogo attacked and took the master's life. Is Yum Moon also dead? He wasn't at the base at the time of attack. Please... ...take me in. If you don't take me, I've no place to go. How can I trust a man who ran away to save his own life when his master is dead? What? Who's to say you won't betray your master again? That will never happen. I will give my life for you. I will give you a chance to prove your loyalty. Say anything. I will do anything. We need to recruit more people. What do you plan to do by hiring more people when we should be letting people go to survive Madam Jami's advances? I will send merchants all over Shilla. I will trade cotton and salt at marketplaces where Madam Jami's influence hasn't reached. That's the only way we can survive in competition with her. Be prepared to hire more people. Yes. What brings you here at this late hour? I must go to Chunghae. But you said you'd be staying in Mujinju for a while. Has anything come up? Grand Chief Jang has attacked the pirates' base, and taken the life of Yi Do-hyung. I must go to Chunghae as soon as possible. I will join you. Right will prevail in the end. You reap what you sow... It is so true. I knew this was the end that awaited Yi Do-hyung. I must rush the building of an inn at the harbor now that we are about to suppress the pirates. I will also hire Chinese and Japanese interpreters. I will throw a banquet to celebrate your victory. The reason we could easily defeat their base was because Yum Moon was away with his elite force. While we were attacking their base, Yum Moon breached our blockade, and attacked Buryung to secure food and weapons. We don't know when he will attack again. We can't let our guard down. We should attack them now, and not give them time to regroup. Just as Grand Chief Jang expected, Yum Moon must have gone berserk after seeing Master Yi's corpse. We can attack at our leisure when he retaliates in haste. - Grand Chief. - What is it? We have received word of the regent's return to Chunghae. It has been a long time, my lord. Yes, it has. I heard that you have killed Yi Do-hyung. His Majesty will be most pleased. We have killed Yi Do-hyung, but we failed to capture Yum Moon. He is the real leader of the pirates, a great warrior and strategist who once served as the commander of Yi Sa-do's troops. We can't say we have suppressed the pirates until we capture him. Head Chief Jang is more than capable of capturing him. Put your worries to rest. Jump. You will risk your life for a girl when we have lost everything and been chased out to sea? You have been losing your calm since Jang Bogo came to Shilla. At that rate, you will be defeated again. Control your emotions first. Take them away. Please forgive us just this once. Please. Wait. You don't seem to be soldiers. Why are you taking those people by force in broad daylight? I have never seen you in Mujinju before. Where are you thugs from? Such insolence! How dare you? No good will come to you from causing a scene. Stay out of it. - Take them away! - Yes, sir. - Find out who they are. - Yes, sir. They were Madam Jami's private troops. She has more than a hundred men under her command. She is a Jingol noble, and holds great power in Mujinju. The Mujinju governor is her puppet, and her troops wield more power than government troops. Would you continue to look around town? I must go to the Mujinju base. - Get ready. - Yes, sir. You think the governor has time for the likes of you? Get out of here right now! Do you know who this is? That's none of my business. You can't set foot inside the base. Leave at once! What's the ruckus? These men insist on meeting you. What do you want? I am Kim Yang, the new governor of Mujinju. New governor? I haven't received any word from the imperial city. The new governor has arrived? Yes, he has already inspected the troops, and is now taking over all official business. Who is the new governor? His name is Kim Yang. Kim Yang... Find out every detail about him. Yes, madam. How could you have managed the finances so poorly? The governor has been serving without pay. You can't cover your incompetence with integrity. He has stepped down from his post, but he is still the former governor. - Please show your respect. - Stay out of this. It is not easy to govern Mujinju. We've been suffering from famine year after year. We could hardly collect tax grains. And we are exhausting a large portion of our budget to reinforce the navy in order to keep pirates away from our shores. You were not wasting funds to aid Madam Jami, who sponsors you? On what grounds do you accuse me of this? The governor arrived a month ago to observe the state of things in Mujinju. You served as captain of the Manbo Division. How did you rise from such an insignificant post to the post of governor? I know that Madam Jami is sponsoring you. I also know that you have yielded the operation of Dukjin Harbor to Madam Jami, and aided her in winning trade rights with China when she was involved in a mishap in Yangzhou. Can you still say you have governed well? I am of a mind to report your wrongdoings to the imperial court, but I will overlook them as a courtesy to the former governor. The new governor has arrived. I know. What am I to do now? Why are you asking me that? You should find your own way out of this mess. Madam. How could she do this? Kim Chang-gyum knows a lot about you. He could bring harm to you if you turn him away cold. He lacks the courage to do so. This is Madam Jami. What brings you here? I came to greet the governor. Please wait a moment. Madam Jami has been waiting for hours. You should return for today and come back another day. I will wait. Governor. Tell her I do not wish to see her. Yes, sir. The governor wishes to see you another day. Certainly. What did you find out about Kim Yang? Lord Dangje, the regent's father, is looking after the new governor. Is there a reason why? Kim Yang is a very competent man, who has risen in the ranks very rapidly. He was revered by the people under his rule. Some have even built a monument in his honor. He seems to be an extraordinary man. It would be wise to make an ally of him. Captain, it is I, Tae-bong. Come in. What is it? The new governor is headed for Chunghae. Why is he going to Chunghae? I haven't found that out yet. The scout ship is ready to set sail. Search the waters near Yongeum Island. You will be able to find Yum Moon's hideout. He could attack any minute. Be very careful during your mission. Yes, sir. Set sail! What division do the troops belong to? That's the flag of the Sajageum division, the Mujinju governor's guards. My lord. What brings you out in this cold weather? The new governor is here to pay his respects to you. What brings you to Chunghae? I have been appointed governor of Mujinju by your grace. I came to pay my respects. You came all this way just to pay your respects? If you have the time, you should use it to carry out your duty. You didn't seem very friendly to the governor. Is that how I seemed? Yes. Kim Yang is a descendant of Kim Heon-chang, who led the uprising in Mujinju. Kim Heon-chang tried to overthrow the imperial household, and ascend to the throne. But the punishment for treason is death of all family members. My father saved Kim Yang. He learned to survive even after going from being a Jingol noble to the descendant of a treasonous criminal. He would do anything to survive. I do not wish to keep him near me. Did you find out? Yes, the man at the harbor was the new Mujinju governor. What is the new governor doing in Chunghae? He came to pay his respects to the regent. Did you call for me? I need to go to Mujinju. It would be too dangerous. Why would you want to go to Mujinju? I must meet with Madam Jami and seek her help. It will be useless. She coldly turned the master down when he asked her for help. I won't leave her alone if she refuses to help us. Who's there? It has been a long time. What do you think you are doing? How could you show up in Mujinju under the circumstances? Do you plan to harm me? This was the only way to see you. Do not worry. I don't mean to harm you. It upset me very much when I heard that Master Yi was killed at the hands of Jang Bogo. Why did you come to see me? I need you to help me. I can't help you. You can't attack Jang Bogo in your state. I will help you settle in China, if you will sever your ties with me and go to China. Are you telling me to disappear, now that you have no use for me? You must take a hard look at the reality. You are cornered now. Death is what awaits you if you are stubborn. I have already staked my life. If you refuse my request for help, you will also lose everything. You wish to bring me down with you? Do you think I will succumb so easily to your threats? You, who have so much to protect, would be afraid to die, but I have nothing more to lose. Since you are wise, I'm certain you will make the right decision. What happened? Is she willing to help us? She wouldn't be able to refuse my request. With Master Yi's death, Yum Moon's fury has reached its limit. Harm may come to you if you say no to him. - Captain. - Yes. Find a way to help Yum Moon as he requested. Yes, madam. Stop! We will exclude those who still haven't mastered the basic skills. - Sort them out. - Yes, sir. It's not easy for the fishermen to master martial arts skills. Has anyone gone far out to sea to fish? How far have you gone? I almost reached Japan once. I have traveled to China on a merchant ship once. Would you like to work as a navigator of our group? Yes, I will do my best if you'll hire me. Same here. I will build a brewery in Chunghae. I need men to work at the brewery. - Select the workers. - Yes, sir. If you work hard, you will be fed well and make money. But I hate lazy men. You will be fired the moment I catch you slacking off. Hire the rest of them as our workers. Yes, sir. We need to start trading in order to create more jobs. And we need to wipe out the pirates in order to do that. It will take more time to wipe out Yum Moon and the remaining pirates. Grand Chief. What is it? The leader of the Palmi pirates has surrendered with his men. My name is Pil-ryul. We heard you would spare our lives if we surrendered. Please take us into your care. - You know Yum Moon? - Yes. Where is he? I don't know where he is. How could we trust them? We can't show you our true mind. We can't also make you trust us. But we risked our lives to leave the base. We will take you in. But you will not be freed until the remaining pirates are wiped out. You will be put to work on the harbor expansion project. We will do anything you tell us. We will find you a way to make a living after the pirates are suppressed. Let go of me! Let go of me! Head Chief, how could you do this to me? What have I done to deserve this? Shut up! I know you tried to take your men, and surrender to Jang Bogo. Slit his throat. We also need to build a warehouse to store cargo. Find a suitable place not far from the harbor. Yes. My lady. I hear that many pirates are surrendering. Why don't we hire them to work for us? Father, how can you trust them? What will you do if they steal from us? No one was born a pirate. They were forced into pirating to feed themselves. You should hate the crime, not the man. They are skilled martial arts experts. With the right guidance, they will make good traveling merchants. Isn't that right, my lady? You are right. - Find a way to hire them. - Yes, my lady. Why are you so late? I had to run some errands for Lady Chae-ryung. Why did you wish to see me? Why else? Because I missed you... Why are you laughing? Why would you miss me when we see each other every day? It's not the same... I want to be alone with you like this. They are Yon and Ha-jin. - Why those... - Boss. They must be pretty anxious. I should give them a wedding, as soon as we capture Yum Moon. That sounds good, but he can't marry before you do. It seems to bother him too. It is all right with me. We should suppress the pirates as soon as possible, if not just for them. - Warrior slaves? - Yes. The Jie Du Shi of Jiangsu Province enjoyed gladiator fights. He would invite nobles and wealthy merchants to the fights, and wager money. Head Chief Jang was the greatest gladiator in Jiangsu, and I discovered him. If he had continued to fight as a warrior slave, I would have made a lot of money, and he would have died in the arena. But I have put my greed aside, and made him the security officer of a merchant group. I do not mean to brag, but I played a big part in his being who he is today. What is it you wish to say? My lord. What is it? I believe that my ability as a great judge of character has made me a successful merchant. I would like to stake everything I have on you. Please take me in. I do not understand what you mean. Let's just enjoy our drinks. I just can't read him. - Who do you mean? - Lord Kim Woo-jing. I can see that he harbors great ambitions, but he won't show it. What is this great ambition? What other ambition could a royal family member have? It is to become king. Please watch your words. It could be interpreted as him plotting treason. It will be treason if he fails, but if he succeeds he will gain the world. I will do anything if I can put a king on the throne. You haven't gained your calm yet. Your sword seemed to be thirsty for blood. Our plan will fail if you act in haste. Go to Chunghae at daybreak. Yes, sir. Go to Chunghae? Jang Bogo's men are guarding every inch of Chunghae. It is impossible to penetrate into Chunghae. I have a plan. Do not worry. Who are you? We're pirates from Manwol Island. We heard that Grand Chief Jang Bogo would spare our lives if we surrendered. I need to go to Yangzhou. Why? I want to bring potters from Yangzhou. Kangjin, which is not far from Chunghae, has great soil for pottery making. I will bring pottery makers and build a kiln. We need to create jobs for the pirates who surrendered. If you open a pottery workshop, I will train them to be potters. - Grand Chief. - What is it? The Manwol pirates have surrendered. We heard that you would spare our lives if we surrendered. Please take us in. I heard that you are Manwol pirates. Is that true? Yes. Do you know the whereabouts of Yum Moon? I saw him in Yongeum, but I haven't seen him since. How can we trust you? It's the head of Yong-su, the leader of the Manwol pirates. He refused our plea to surrender, and tried to go under the command of Head Chief Yum Moon. It is a head. We will take you in. But you will not be freed until the remaining pirates are wiped out. - Do you accept those terms? - Yes, sir. We will attack Chunghae now. We must kill Jang Bogo and his security officers to avenge the master's death. Go to battle! To battle! ANGELS IN FAST MOTION I'm a pusher frau from Jutland. I'm having my period. It gives me a stomach-ache, and I feel nauseous. I've got 1800 grams of hashish taped to my body and then this happens...! Asger had said there'd be no police. He promised me there'd be no police. It never went wrong before. First I take the train to Copenhagen and then on to Christiania to get the stuff from our dealer. - How are things in Jutland? - Okay. And here? - Okay. - Homesick? I don't know. How's Asger? - Okay. - Say hi. I will... See you. Hey, don't forget your little present. So I pocket the lump, catch the night train and go back to Jutland. End of story. But it doesn't work anymore. It's like a prison I can't get out of. I'm not like this. I'm not. I only do it, because Asger hasn't got anybody else to do it. And because I'm the one who knows people in Christiania. A pusher frau. She waits on drug users, who come around to buy drugs. I get them coffee, while they tell me I look good because they want to suck up to the pusher, who couldn't care less. He's too stoned to notice anything. That's Asger. He's pretty spaced out and indifferent. To me as well. But it wasn't like that in the beginning. He used to be a bouncer. Big and strong, with a sexy tattoo on his ass. With Asger it was so different! He ate pussy like nobody else. He was so good at it, and I felt I was in love for the first time ever. Asger is not a bouncer anymore. He's a full-time pusher. He's on 6 grams a day, and he has a crazy idea of becoming a tattooist. He started tattooing some bananas, and then he got a roast pork and now he's dragged half a goddamn pig into our living-room. It's so gross! Go away, for fuck's sake! Get off! What the hell's the matter with you? Strange dogs. The police was there! You told me there'd be no police. No police at all. - How should I know, honey? - You don't know shit, man. Asger? Do you love me? What are you talking about? - Do you love me? - Why the fuck do you ask me that? It can't be that difficult. Do you love me, or... Shut up! Right... No, she made it. No, she brought the CDs home. And the washing machine. They got Lars' stuff. That's good for our business. - We'll need some more soon. - I don't feel well... - Probably just your nerves. - No, I'm really... I really feel bad. There... Get some sleep. Then you'll feel better. - Asger, can't you stay a while? - It's Saturday. Business, you know. Just for a while. I never did anything right. Never. Nothing. I never did anything right. Never. Nothing. I never did anything right. Never. The burn goes from my forehead down across the cheek. I had three operations in Holland. It won't get any better, they say. They took skin from my leg and put it on my face. But my looks are of no importance. They are to others, but not to me. I don't care if people stare at me. I'm not the same anymore, and I never will be. It happened in the Pacific. There was an explosion and a fire. Many were killed. My best friend was a ship's cook. He died. The Filipinos couldn't swim. They died. I didn't die. I don't like to talk about it. I dived for as long as I could, but finally I had to get some air. That's when I got burned. It's four months ago now. I left four years ago. - Hi, Mum. - So you're back? - Yes, I am. - And you'll stay? - Yes. - You can't stay here. I know. But what have they done to you, Allan? They didn't do anything, Mum. It was an accident. Something's happened. All the old shit has to change. I've made a decision. My life's going to be proper now. I'll lead a proper life. With a job. An apartment. Maybe a girlfriend. There are four walls. You can even look out the window. I'll take it. I have to see whether my car will start. It's a Ford Mustang '73. Can I get you a beer? - An FF, please. - An FF? I'm Allan. - Maja. - Maja? Yes... Allan. Maja, that's... Maja, that's a pretty name. - What happened to your face? - My ship caught fire. May I touch it? You want to touch it? Go ahead. Thanks. Hi. - Hi. - Do you need a lift? - No. - My car is parked outside. - What colour is it? - Colour? - It's rusty. - No, thanks. - Because of the colour? - Yes. Listen... I'd like to ask you a question. I'd like to take you out for dinner somewhere. - Your choice. - You're strange. I'll give you my phone number. Call me, if you change your mind. I won't. I'm a drug addict. I'm definitely a drug addict. I'm hooked. I'll gladly confess to the fact that I'm an addict. I'm on Valium, LSD, coke, heroin, methadone, opium, Rohypnol crystal meth, morphine, mescaline, amphetamine, vitamin C and D hashish, pot, hash-oil, skunk. I'm a word addict. Psychology, the Bible, Shakespeare the Qoran, Donald Duck, Hemingway, Céline, micro-biology - - Buddha, Danish poetry 1900-1940, KarI Marx, Nietzsche - - Niels Bohr, Einstein, Camus, Crime and Punishment... If you could shoot up books, I'd do that! And music... I just got tired, I think. You know? Tired of this. And this. And this. And this. I didn't get tired of Tilde. I love Tilde, and she loves me. It's always been like that. Sometimes it's too much for Tilde, and she's admitted to the nut house. She only wears yellow, which should promote a successful reincarnation. Hi, Thomas. We became sweethearts when we were 11. I showed her mine, and she showed me hers, and that's how it started. - Good to see you. How are you? - Okay, and how are you? Okay. So everything is okay. That's the ritual, Tilde. Are you okay? - I feel much better. - Give us a kiss then. Tilde and me are having cake. Lots of cake. We love cakes. I got the green one for you, that's your favourite, right? I'll have the marzipan cake. No, the Goosey Whipped Cream. - You're far out, Thomas. - Sure I am. I'm expected to be. - Stop it. - Bums like me are skinny. I'll get so fat, people won't see the bum. They'll nod and say: What a good citizen with a double chin and all. - Why don't you eat your cake? - I want to stop, Thomas. I can't take it anymore. Really? Then I'll have it. I can go on all day. I don't know why. Stop it! You know what I mean. I'm talking about us, not the cakes. About us? Our relationship and stuff? Crisis, intimacy, presence, closeness. - I'm serious. - Listen, the two of us have a pact. We love each other. Even when we're apart, we're together, anyway. It can't be any different, Tilde. - It's an old pact. - But it still works. - I don't think so. - And if I sweep the cakes off the table? Would that help? Tilde, we belong to each other. - Go away. - Stop it! - Are you listening to me? - Go away! Tilde, it... Let's go home now. May I look? - We're not going to make love. - No, I just want to look. - You may touch them, if you like. - No, I just want to look. - We've never dated anybody else. - No. Remember, when we sat in the old truck peeling each other's clothes off? How old were we? - Twelve... thirteen. - Eleven, I think. That's pretty advanced for two 11-year-olds. It's as if the world got bigger with you. Everything was more fun. More entertaining. If you don't stop shooting up, you'll die. No, I won't die. The drugs are keeping me alive. You need to take a break, or you'll die. You're my break. It's you. I've met someone else, Thomas. Someone else has visited me in hospital. Who is it? Does it matter? You can stay here, until you find somewhere else. Who is it? - Michael. - Michael? Whose dad has a factory? That's neat. His father has a factory and then he goes to the asylum and exploits proletarian women. Neat. Don't say it's difficult. We had a deal. - You promised me that... - Honey, go back in. There's a man in my room. He has a black slug on his upper lip. What's he doing here? Asger, your woman is shell-shocked. No, she's just upset... Honey, Hossein will go with you next time. I'm not going back to Christiania again. I'm through with that. - And I need to smoke less. - First you show Hossein the routine. Get dressed. You are not well. Are you in pain? Are you scared, maybe? Hossein has something that will ease the pain. In Persia they say that opium is good for anything. Good for the pain within. Very good super aspirin. My body feels light. Soon you'll feel much better. I think the Paki fancies the pusher frau. Hossein is no Paki. He's Persian. Well, then the Persian fancies the pusher frau. - Hi, Steso. - Maria, get dressed. - It smells of... opium! - Against pain. Too expensive for you. - Fucking Paki! - Persian. Fucking Persian, then. Asger? How's my credit? - Very bad... - Right. I'll just hang around then. We're all waiting for something bigger and better to hit us, right? I'm not waiting for anything. Will you let Asger tattoo your hardened, Middle Eastern body? Having tattoos is a sin. Your body is a temple. It's sacred. You don't tag your own temple, do you? - And you, Steso. You got any? - Plenty. Look! - Yuck, Steso, why do you get those? - The pills are best when injected. The physical and psychological agents are fluid. They add corn starch, parafin and calcium to solidify it. - That's what gives you boils. - You're gross! - What are the dogs called? - Chill and Ace. - For chillum and acid? - Right. - Very ingenious, Asger. - Right. - And yet so sad. - Why? - Are your dogs ill? - I don't know. Maybe it's the pig. They're in the bedroom or outside, till I've finished this. The dogs are used to the hash fumes, and suddenly you kick them out. So they feel bad. Withdrawal symptoms, you know. - What are you talking about? - They're junkie dogs. They are not junkie dogs! They have a pedigree... - Like you. Your dogs are like you. - I'm not a fucking junkie. - You don't know what you are. Stop it now! - I have to go now. - My dogs aren't junkie dogs! So you've thought about where you'll put everything? Like the interior design? Yes. Yes, I have, Peter. If this was the kitchen... I'd like there to be a little nook right over there by the window. Like the booth of a restaurant. And there'd be an island right where the light is hanging... and the island would have the stove in it... and a countertop on one side with tall stools under it. My daughter would sit on a stool... so I could talk to her while I was making dinner or lunch. What would you say to her? I'd say... "Hi, baby girl. You are a precious treasure." I'd live up there, if I could. If there wasn't gravity. Yeah. But if you lived up there... then all this stuff... all this stuff in my room... would fall down on you and crush you... and you'd die. Ellen would have been so proud of you. Isn't it amazing, Ellen? Yes. I'm so glad you took me here. It was a whole civilization. Two Mayan people in love... probably stood right where we're standing now and thought... "Look what we have built together." And now they're gone, and so is the city. And there's just... us. I am done. That was great. - Eldercab. - Hi. - I'm feeling too old to drive. - Yeah? I didn't think you were going to... feel that way. I thought sometime you might want to come over and meet my sons. Can we do that right now? Now as in "now"? Yeah. Oh, good. You're here. You have to clean all this up. Come on. Come on. Go. Go. Go. Put away all this stuff. All this stuff needs to be put away somewhere. No. Wait. You're right. This is better. More kid-like. Just play. Do whatever you normally do. Just be kids. That's great. Is that gonna fit in there? No, I don't think so. Maybe you can put it in there. I guess not. It looked like it would fit, but I guess not. Wait. Wait. I know. Put it under there. What are you doing that for? I'm just passing the time. If you really love me, then let's make a vow... right here, together... right now. - Okay? - Okay. All right. Repeat after me- I'm gonna be free. I'm gonna be free. And I'm gonna be brave. I'm gonna be brave. Good. And the next one is- I'm gonna live each day as if it were my last. Oh, that's good. You like that? Yeah. Say it. I'm gonna live each day as if it were my last. Fantastically. Fantastically. Courageously. Courageously. With grace. With grace. You don't have to bubble-wrap everything. It's not like you're moving to the north pole. Oh. That's not yours. My father gave us that. This is yours. Remember this? Oh, no. Can we just do this without any theatrics? Please. - We should have some kind of ceremony. - What? You know, with the boys. Some kind ofthing so they don't forget we were once- What are you doing? Richard? Leave them alone. - Do I look well to you guys? - You should be in here packing. Objectively speaking, if you weren't my children... would you think, that guy looks okay? He looks like a guy who might have a wife and kids and stuff? - Are you mad at us? - Yeah, totally. I think you look good. Okay, good. Space, space, dash. Is that a Bengal tiger? I don't know. Space, space, space. Dash. And in the dark of the night, and it does get dark... when I call a name- When I call a name. It'll be your name. What's your name? Nevermind. Let's go. Say it. Let's go. Everywhere. Everywhere. Even though- Even though- We're scared. We're scared. 'Cause it's life- It's life. And it's happening. It's really, really happening... right now. All right. Now let's kiss to make it real, okay? Okay. So, how is your art project? - Is it in the museum yet? - No. That's not how it works. You know, they have to know about your work- I would just march in there and show it to them, you know? No one is going to live your life for you. Okay. That's not how itworks, but okay. So, how's Ellen? Oh, she's wonderful. I can't sleep at night thinking about her. I just wish I had met her 50 years sooner. - Yeah. - But then maybe I needed... 70 years of life... to be ready for a woman like Ellen. This rug is dirty. Everyone get a box on the way out. Ow. Ow. Stop kicking me. Ow. Stop kicking me! You know, some kids don't even have one home. Now you get to have two. Think about that. What I don't get was how angry Pam was. I didn't hurt anyone but myself. - It's not like I robbed a bank. -Yeah, or bombed a church. Do you have this in an eight and a half? - I believe we do. I'll be right back. - Thank you. Or bombed a church. In some cultures, when you burn yourself it's a ceremony. It's called self-immolation. My uncle used to do it all the time. It was a great trick. He'd put the stuff on it and light it... and it would just go out when he went like this. Right before I lit it, I suddenly remembered... it's alcohol that burns but doesn't burn up. Lighter fluid just burns. And then I thought, "It's okay. It's better this way." I just think of it as part of good service, you know? No. No, we don't touch the foot anymore. If you notice, we spend a lot of time touching the shoe- Lacing the shoe- then we just put it on the ground and watch you try to get your foot in. We can hand you tools- a shoehorn, a nylon sock- but we will never touch your foot with our hands. Now, I'll tell you what I can do. I can press on the shoe to see if it fits. - I can go like this. -Yeah, do that. - How does that feel on the toe? - Good. Good. Why don't you walk around in them? - Did you want to try these on? - No, I'm just driving him. - So those are comfortable? - I guess so. I mean, they kind of rub my ankles, but all shoes do that. I have low ankles. You think you deserve that pain, but you don't. - I don't think I deserve it. - Well, not consciously maybe. My ankles are just low. People think foot pain is a fact of life... but life is actually better than that. I'll say. You should get some. Your whole life could be better. Starting right now. I can't believe I got these shoes. And they're exactly like my old shoes, except they're pink. I don't need these, and they're not orthopedic. But you seemed to believe everything he said. Yeah. I think he really knew his stuff.. He was very professional. See, that's how gullible you are. - You know, you meet somebody- - Christine. Oh, God. Roll down your window. We have to tell him. No. If he stops, it'll fall off. Even if he slows down, it'll fall. The best thing for that fish would be... if he could just drive steadily... forever. I guess these are his last moments of life. Shall we say some words? I didn't know you... but I want you to die knowing that you were loved. I love you. Hey. It was on your roof! . We'll go in front of you! - Pull in front of him. - Okay. We've got to keep him at a steady speed. Just keep them steady. Oh, God. That little girl is gonna have towatch it. But at least they know. At least we're all together on this. When me and Pam were first in love... we hated to be apart, even for an hour. Oh, yeah. I had something like that once. - A real fuck-a-thon. - We just slept. We loved to sleep when it was time to sleep. Not sex. I mean, we had sex... but what we really loved was to sleep like babies all day long. That sounds perfect. I don't want to have to do this living. I just walk around. I want to be swept off my feet, you know? I want my children to have magical powers. I am prepared for amazing things to happen. I can handle it. Ellen. Guess who's joining the Olympics? - Guess who's joining the Olympics? - Who? - Me. - Really? - How is the love of my life? - Can I borrow this? Of course. Which one is that? Ohh. My granddaughter and her boyfriend who won't marry her... are going to become art. That's a limited access floor. You need a swipe card. Oh. I'll just get off on two then. You want the offices? - Actually, are you Nancy Herrington? - Yes. Okay. 'Cause I wanted to show you my art. I brought this tape I thought we could watch. Okay. Why don't you send it to this address. Oh, but that's here. Can't I just hand it to you? It'll get lost. It's better if you send it. But I'm so close. Okay. Do I need the thing to get out? Oh, great, you're here. Let's go down. Look at this. Wow, that's amazing. Were you able to talk to Patrick about the maintenance? Yeah, we spoke this morning. Well, it really is amazing. It just looks so real. Like this wrapper. It looks like a real hamburger wrapper. - Oh, that wrapper is real. - What? Yeah. I always throw in a few real things. Kind of cast a glow over the plaster objects. You know, kind of bump it all up a notch. Did you do this at the MoMA show? Were there real things in that show, or- Oh, yeah. Course. This is mine. You got it from the staff kitchen. No, I made that. This stuff is really good for your skin. It has like all these minerals in it. - Let me see! - Let mejust finish! - It doesn't match at all. - It will. Let me just finish. My skin is way lighter than yours. Okay. Just wait. You'll see. I just have to do your whole face first. -What are - Where are you going? - I don't have to come in till 2:00. - Oh, see you at 2:00 then. - Okay. Seeya. Guy at 1:00. Not cute. Say hi. Hi. Hi. - That doesn't match your skin color. - I know. It doesn't. Do you want me to finish, or do you want me to leave it how it is? Are you guys like girlfriends? Maybe. You look like you could be sisters. - Maybe we're sisters and girlfriends. - Yeah, that'd be pretty cool. But that's pretty unlikely. - How old are you guys anyways? - Eighteen. I'm 18. She's 17. - I turn 18 next week. - Yeah, I'd really love to believe you. I really would, because I don't even have to go to work this morning. I would love to believe in a universe... where you wake up and you don't have to go to work... and you step outside and meet two beautiful 18 year-old sisters... who are also girlfriends... and... are also very nice people. You guys seem like very nice people. We are nice. What would you do... if you believed wewere 18, which we are? Well, I can't even tell ya. - I can't tell you till you're 18. - That's not true. What about freedom of speech and the Constitution? - What are you talkin' about? - Free speech. Okay. Well, I don't know what you're talking about... but I can't talk dirty to you... because then I'd be a pervert... and probably even a pedophile too, so- - No one has ever talked dirty to us. - Really? Sounds very appealing. I'm gonna go inside now. Okay. We'll wave to you. - Make sure to look. - I will. - Oh, he's probably jerking off. - Oh, my God! He is. You can so tell he is. - How? - I can feel it. See that crack? That's where his hard-on is. Let's kiss. Okay. - Are my little chickies still hungry? - Yes. Peep. Okay, worm check. Open up. Are there anyworms left in there? You live next door to me. - No, I don't. - I saw you moving in. You have a white dad and a big brother. Your whole family lives in one ofthose little apartments? Do you all have to sleep in the same bed? My mom lives somewhere else. You should get a Hide-a-bed. During the day it's a couch... but at night it folds out into a comfortable queen-sized bed. You want to be a little bird and get a littleworm? Just lie down and peep. Peep, peep, peep. Are you following us? Yeah, quit following us, Peter Swersey! If you don't stop following us, I'm gonna scream! Ifyou take another step towards me, I'm going to kickyou in the throat! Hey, come here. Ask her if she likes bologna. What are you putting? I asked herwhat kind of "bossom" she had. - It's probably a man. - Why is it a man? 'Cause everyone just makes stuff up on these things. It's probably a man pretending to be a woman. So picture a fat guy with a little wiener. - What's a "bossom"? - It's a nice word for titties. - Where's Mom? - What doyou mean? What do you think she's doing right now? I don't know. Screwing her new boyfriend probably. - I think she's buying us presents. - Yeah, Robby. Right now she's probably buying us each a car! - It's a man. - I think it's a woman. I can tell it is. What should wewrite? "I have a big wiener"? I want to poop back and forth. What? What does that mean? Like, I'll poop into her butt hole... and then she'll poop it back... into my butt hole. And then we'll just keep doing it back and forth... with the same poop. Oh, my God. I'm going to put that! "I want to poop... back and forth." Oh, God. She's gonna think we're a crazy, perverted person. - Ooh! She thinks we're crazy! - No, tell her like how I said it. No, she'll never write back. We have to sound like we're a man, you know? That's just lame. It's stupid. But you said I could do half, and you've done all of them before this. Whatever. We're probably gonna get arrested. What do you want me to put? Like how I said it. "I'll poop in your butt hole... and then you will poop it back... into my butt... and we will keep doing it"- - Back- - Back- - And forth- - And forth- With the same poop. Same poop. Forever. Wow, look at these beds! You don't have to make the beds. I'll make 'em when I get home from work. Where'd you learn to make corners like that? It's just the way we like it. Really? I thought you preferred the rumpled, unkempt look. - We like it this way now. - Yeah. At Mom's house, we have a chore wheel. - What? - Nothing. A chore wheel. You put chores on it, and then you can spin it. There's this metal thing... and it helps it to spin. It's spinning from the metal. Okay. Well- So, it's just a half shift. I'll be back in four hours, and we'll go do something fun, okay? Okay. - This in an eight and a half. - Nothing for Sylvie? No. We don't have the coral in an eight and a half. So I brought the taupe and the black. And this is a similar style in ivory with a strap. Oh, I don't want the strap. I didn't think you would. I just wanted you to see it. Yeah, I would just feel silly with the strap. I'm a grown woman. Well, sure. But I'm contractually obligated... to at least try to sell you shoes. How are the boys? Are you guys all settled in there? My boys are great. They're great at being boys. Kids are so adaptable. - Am I adaptable? - Yes. Yes, well... they have absolutely no control over their own lives, so- But if things were reversed... you know, like that movie Freaky Friday... you can be sure Pam and I would be sent to our rooms for all our fighting. Yes, they would give us a time-out... and tell us we could not come out until we had really thought about what we had done. What have we done? But... there are no time-outs. There's not enough time fortime-out. Is the sale just for clothes, or is it for other things too? It's a storewide sale. Fifteen minutes, Sylvie. How do they feel? Where are the Braun handheld blenders... that were advertised in the Sunday supplement? - Is it a classic instrument? - What? Is it timeless, or is it likely to go out ofstyle in the next 20 years? I would say it's a new classic. But 20 years is a long time. I think everything's gonna be computerized in 20 years. - Soup won't be computerized. - Why not? It's a liquid. Dude, did you just give her the family discount? Yeah. She's my neighbor. I'm trying to work on my karma. - Doyou know what karma means? - Yeah. It means that she owes me one. I love you. I'm not following you. My car's parked over there. - In Smart Park? - No, on Front Street. Oh, I parked in Smart Park. So, at the end of the next block we'll separate. At Tyrone Street. Yeah, the "Ice Land" sign is halfway. It's the halfway... point. Ice Land is- It's kind of like that point in a relationship, you know... where you suddenly realize it's not gonna last forever. You know, you can see the end in sight. Tyrone Street. Yeah, but we're not even there yet. We're still at the good part. We're not even sick of each other yet. I'm not sick of you at all. And wow! It's been a good like six months, right? What? Six months? Then the Ice Land sign is like eight months? You think we'd only last a year and a half? I don't know. I don't want to be presumptuous. - I don't know if you're married orwhat. - I'm not. Well, I'm separated. We separated last month. I was thinking... that Tyrone... was like 20 years away at least. - Yeah? - Yeah. Okay. Well, actually I was thinking... Tyrone is, like, when we die of old age. And this is, like, our whole life together, this block. See, that's perfect. - Let's do it thatway. - Okay. Well, guess it can't be avoided. Everyone dies. I could walk you to your car. Maybewe should just be glad... that we lived this long, good life together. You know, it's so much more than most people ever get to have. - Okay. - Okay. - Well, don't be afraid. - Okay. - Here we go. - Here we go. Richard! Hi. Hi. I thought your car was over here. It is. It's down there. You could give me a ride to it. Doesn't that break the rules of the thing? This can be like the afterlife. You know, like we're angels or something? Cute. What are you doing in my car? No, I don't know you, and you certainly don't know anything about me. I mean, what if I'm a killer of children? Yeah. Well, that would put a damper on things, wouldn't it? See, you're acting like I'm just this regular man. Like a man in a book who thewoman in the book meets. I'm not doing that. Did I just invite myself into your car? Is that what I just did? -Well, I'm sorry. - No, I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. -You should be. Good. Terrific. Canyou get out of my car now? Okay. Okay. - Did you bring back my photo? - Oh, no. I'm not done with it yet. I'm still in the brainstorming stage. Well, if you get stuck, you should enlist Michael. He's got creativity just rolling off of him. Yeah, I always work alone. I'm a solo artist. Of course. She's still brainstorming. Yeah. It's like this complicated process that- So, tell Ellen about the shoe guy. Did you go back to the store? Yeah. And turns out he's a killer of children. So, oh, well. What? Why does he say "the tall one"? - Because he wants me to do it. - He's crazy. You'd leave teeth marks all over it. You'd choke on it. He could see that I have a sensuous mouth. This is crazy. Someone should call in the authorities. Obviously, I would do it better. We need an impartial authority. Hey, Peter! Peter Swersey. We are going to giveyou a "jimmy ha-ha." - Do you know what that is? - Yeah. No, you don't. 'Cause I just made it up. Don't you want a warm, wet jimmy ha-ha? No. You live there? Cool. I'm gonna live in an apartment. Next year, maybe. - Yeah, right. - I am. My sister's gonna get a loft apartment, and she said I could live with her. She won't even letyou sit in her car. - Can we come in? - Yeah, can we come in? We'll be good. Go eat it outside, Robby. Okay! I just need to put on my jacket. - Can we see your parents' room? - My parents are separated. My dad sleeps there. He'll be home, like, any second. We're each going to do it, and you have to tell us what the difference is. Like, how it feels different when she does it from when I do it. Exactly. Thank you, Rebecca. You're welcome, Heather. - But first we need a towel and- - And a washcloth. Right. A wet washcloth and a dry washcloth. And something sweet, like a cookie or a piece of candy. - And a CD player. - And a Cody Chesnutt CD. I don't have that CD. Uh-oh. That's ourfavorite music. So I guess we can't do it. Oh, but look. - I have it. - Go get the stuff. Don't forget the towel, the washcloths or the cookie. - Or candy. - Or candy. - Ready? - Yeah. - Hey. Ready to do this? - I am. - Yeah? - Yeah. - Okay. - Yeah, we're good. Okay, here are the rules. You have to keep this pillow on your face. You can't watch us. - Okay. - You can't touch us. You can't touch our heads. And we're not going to touch each other. And you have to tell us when you're going to "scooch." - Okay. - So, take off your pants. Okay, I'm going to wash it. So put the pillow on now. Now person number one is going to go. Might be me. Might be Rebecca. - Okay, you go. - I don't want your cooties. Wipe it off. Okay. Person number two- citizen two is beginning now. Get away. - Can I have the washcloth? - The wet one or the dry one? The dry one. So, what was the difference? Yeah, who was better- number one or number two? You were exactly the same. I couldn't tell the difference. As far as everything goes with you,Jim- Are you guys all packed foryour mom's? Yeah. - What's that? - Dave planted it. What a romantic guy. I'm in here. Come in. Okay. Well, I'm off. I'm just brushing my teeth. God, I used to hate that nightgown. Other people have to look at it, but they can't read it. That's the point. Self-affirming. Well, so you really need that written on your chest? You don't already know it? No, I don't already know I'm a precious, wondrous... special, unique, divine, rare, valuable, whole... sacred, total, complete, entitled, worthy and deserving person. I don't know that. Menswear is the other side of the escalator. - Over here? - Yeah. Hi. Doyou have any glue? - Oh, we have Shoe Goo. - Yeah, that might work. We have to hold this for one to two minutes. So, how's the separation going? Orwas that temporary? Maybe even momentary? No, we're really separated. But we have two kids. Okay. How old are they? It's a real madhouse in here. It's 'cause of the sale we're having. Well, go if you need to go. How did you do that? Oh, well, do you want the long version or the short version? The long one. I was trying to save my life, and it didn'twork. What's the short one? I burned it. And when doyou get to take that off? I don't know. I think when it stops hurting. Let's give it another 15 seconds. Doyou want to sit down... together sometime, like with coffee or something? Yeah. Well, if you everfeel too old to drive, just call that number. I can't hear you! - Is she of color? - And do you love me? No. But she's a woman. Even though I am sometimes irritating? And a little bit selfish! Oh, her. Even when I forget to ask you how your day was? Yeah, okay. Didn't we already show a local person this year? I don't think she's ready. Let's go to slides. I really do love you- All right, what we need to ask ourselves... about each one of these is: Could this have been made in any era, or only now? - Are you listening? - Yeah. Okay, what does this tell us about digital culture? I don't think this tells us anything about digital culture. I think you're right. Let me guess. This one's about AIDS. Yeah, it's not really on the theme, right? And we already have photography. You know, we have those photos and e-mails. E-mail wouldn't even exist if it weren't for AIDS. Fear of contamination. Fear of bodily fluids. I need a break. Let's take a break. Okay. Okay, I'll get him. Richard. Why don't you walk around in those and see how they feel. - It's Peter. - Hello? Oh, no. Really? Well, did you call your mom? Oh, right. Damn. Well, can you make it through the day, Petey? Are you barfing? Okay. Okay, let's see here. I don't get off until 6:00, and we are just slammed here. It's a sale day. But don't worry. Someone will come and get you. This is why we have neighbors. We're part of a community, Peter. Does your mom make you do that? No, this is my own towel. I bought it with my own money. I have the whole set. See, this is the bath sheet... and this is the hand towel... and this is the washcloth. - Isn't the washcloth cute? - Yeah. When they hang on the rack, they go like this. I only have one set... but I think I'm going to get the other two for Christmas. What is all that stuff? When I get married, all this stuff will belong to my husband and my daughter. Everything I have here will be theirs. All of it. It's my dowry. This is called a hope chest. Or trousseau in French. So Peter was barfing? I asked the neighbor woman to go get him. It's like how they say it takes a village to raise a child. If you'll excuse me, this is a private call. So Robby's old enough to walk home alone? Shit lords! There's no answer. Robby loves to answer the phone. If he was there, he'd be answering it. Maybe Peter went out looking for Robby. Yeah, see, this is why you don't want a village raising your kid... because there's sketchy parts of the village... and some of the villagers are junkies and child molesters. I gotta go. Tell Sven that Robby's missing and I had to go. Thanks for calling. For customer service or furniture or mattress delivery inquiries, press 4. For bridal registry, press 6. - Mann res- - Is Robby here? - Mann residence. May I help you? - Is Robby here? No. If you didn't know me, would you think I was really this tall... or would you think I was standing on something? You're here. Jesus Christ! - Why didn't you guys answer the phone? - I was online. Well, no more Internet when I'm not here. I have to be able to call you. Maybe you should buy us cell phones. No. Just stay off the fucking computer when I'm not here! You can't make us stay off the computer if you're not here. - You won't be here to keep us off it! - It's for safety! - How did you get home? - I walked. What is your dad watching? It looks like Nickelodeon. - Don't look at my dad. - Sorry. Ifhe puts up another sign, I think we should go up there. I mean, what else can happen? Just more signs? Signs forever? I always thought I'd lose it with someone who was my boyfriend or something. But this is better... 'cause it won't matter if we mess up. And we'll be together. But I'm trying to change! All right. This song is for you, and, yes, it is a lovesong. Hi, Nancy Herrington. So this morning, if you remember, you had asked me to send you my work. And that was it, what you just watched. Did you love it? I'm just kidding. I can see why you don't do this face to face. It can be very awkward. Hi. And then you'd say... "Hi. How was your day?" Oh, me? I had a really weird day, actually. And now I'm here... alone in my apartment. You're probably in your big house... with your family... and your dog. And probably your dog has a family too. You're probably all gathered around the fire singing carols... even though it isn't Christmas. Just for fun. You will never, ever see this... because you'll never watch this far on the tape. You'll probably never even watch the tape, will you? I could do anything right now. If you are watching this... then just call this number, okay? Just call this number, the number you see on your screen... and say "macaroni. " Okay? That's all you have to do. Just "macaroni"and hang up. No questions asked. I thought we'd have breakfast for dinner. And then maybe sometime we'll have dinner for breakfast. Just to mix things up a little. But there's still ice cream for dessert. It's fine with me if you guys want to continue this silent treatment. It's like a Zen retreat for me. - Can I see it? - I didn't use the book. I made it up. - What is it? - It's people seen from above. From the sky. See, these are people walking. That's a person lying down. And that's a person standing up next to a person lying down. This is me... and you... and everyone we know. Where is dad? "R." "I." "N." Come on. Come on. "G." We have a whole life to live together, you fucker! But it can't start until you call. - Eldercab. - Macaroni. This can't be a regular thing. Tell them that you can't come in before 9:00. It's not a regular thing. Last week I had to leave early one day- Why did you have to leave early? Is everything okay? Honey, go back to bed. Was it the boys? No. Jesus! I have a personal life, you know. Oh, okay. So I'll take them for longer next week. But you have'em this whole week... because Dave and I are going to the coast until Saturday, okay? - Is that not okay? - It is, but I might have a date. Well, what do you want me to do? Should I cancel our trip so you can go on the date you might have? No, obviously you should go. - What's that sound? - I don't know, Rob. - You should be in bed. - Mom? That always happens at this time. You just were never up this early. It's the lights, Robby. See these street lights? They're run by a big computer that tells them when to go on and off. That's what that sound is. So, forthe purpose of this role-play, Shamus is holding a grenade. The juice is a grenade, so the worst thing we can do is act afraid. Because Shamus is already scared, and he's taking his cues from us. We will want to exit in an orderly fashion... telling Shamus with our actions... that he cannot get our attention in this inappropriate manner. Hey. Hi. So, do you have anything new in the chest? You know, the hope chest? - What's the hope chest? - It's... nothing. I don't know what you're talking about. Ellen broke up with me. What? Why? She thinks she's gonna die this week. No. Out of everyone at Saint Tod, she is the least likely person to die. Well, she's usually right. She's been right about everyone else. I lived a whole life with a woman I didn't even really like. We traveled all over the world together. And Ellen and I never even left the grounds. Well, actually I took you to the IMAX that one time. Yeah, but I wanted to take her to the Mayan ruins in Guatemala. She really wanted to see those. His picture's hanging here. He got the license for this place. Claire? [Sighs] Gosh. [Crying] Nobody told me anything. - You just heard the news? - When did he die? - When did he die? - He died a week ago. - A week ago? - A week ago. My God. [Crying] Claire, you were told. You just don't remember. - Pardon? - You were told about it. You just don't remember us telling you. I wouldn't remember? I must have been - And we had a memorial for him here as well. - When? - Uh, last week. - Was I there? - Do you remember at all? Just over there where the lounge is. - Do you remember anything about a rabbi? - I don't remember anything. Do you remember talking to a rabbi? Or do you remember a rabbi... giving a talk about Max? I guess I was in too much of a shock. You don't recall any of this? - I was in too much of a shock. - Mm-hmm. Must have been that. Because he was my best friend. I know. We all know that. We were very close friends. That wasn't when my daughter put me in here, was it? - When did it happen? - Nine days ago. Oh. So I was here some time already. Oh, you - I think you've been here for a few years. - Pardon? - I think you've been here at Baycrest for a few years. - Was I here a few years? - I think so. I think so. Yeah, my daughter never had time for me. - Why do you say that, Claire? - [Mutters] Because she went to business. And I was home. And, you know, I didn't - we didn't have our parents already. So, it meant my being alone. And if my sister wanted to go out, she went... and I was left alone... at home. You know, it was a - It wasn't a good situation. - When did Max die? - Nine days ago. - Pardon? - Nine days ago. What was wrong with him? He fell, and we don't know what's wrong with him, what happened yet. - But he died. - Yes. My best friend. [Woman] Claire? - Are you leaving? - Okay. The nurse is here. L-l-I just want her to have a look at you. She's just, um - - She's not doing very well. - Do you have any pain? - Pardon? - Do you have any pain? What do you mean, "Do I have anything?" Pain. Do you have any pain? Pain? [Chuckles] Yes, I have pain from what I heard... about Max. - Do you have headache or something? - Max - Max is gone, is he? - Max is gone? - Yeah. I see you flirt with all the ladies here. Why not? - [Laughs] - That's good. - Is it? - Make her happy and you ha - You know what? You're absolutely right. That's what does it. - I love it. - So you do that to make other people happy. - Oh yeah. - That's -That's nice. - If you want to. - Mm-hmm. Some people don't like women. I love 'em! [Laughs] Look at that smile. Your eyes are starting to - What are they starting to do? Tear? - They make you feel good. - [Chuckles] - Do you like it? - Oh, you must have been some devil when you were younger. - I was never a devil. - Aw, I don't know. - You don't like me, eh? - Aw, I do like you. My name is Murray Cornish. I remember that. - Do you? - You're very charming. - You think I'm going to - - I think you're a charming man. - Da, da, da, da, da. - [Laughs] Yes, I like you. I like you too. You know, you're not making me too fishy. I'm - I'm with everything - I don't let it go down. - Right? - Mm-hmm. Are you going to live with us? - Here? - Yeah. Well, maybe someday I might. - Not yet. - Not yet. It's not my time yet. [Vocalizing] You could come in with me... with I, uh -with all our guys. They'd like you. But I would like you. [Chuckling] Murray's on the way. You get it? I got it. But you want to know something? - What? - I think you're too young for me. - That's the problem. - I'm too young? - You're too young for me. - I'm not. [Sobbing] [Ida] Claire, do you want to be alone? [Sobbing Continues] It's all right, Claire. Just cry. Perfectly all right. - Oh, God. - I know. I know. Claire, you know we all love you. You know that. And we want you to be well... and just think of all the wonderful times you had with Max. Just think of those days. You have known him a long time. And now it was his time to leave. [Ida] I'm getting fed up. [Woman] What exactly is it that you're fed up with? [Ida] I have to be with people. I have to do something. See, I was a therapist. And I had people on the table. And while I worked on them, they were telling me things. And I learnt an awful lot from that job. There are different peoples in the world. That's for sure. And then, too, after- when I got married - My husband was a lawyer. And he was very active in the community- the gentile community and thejewish community. He was a controller for the city ofToronto... and his office was at the city hall. He worked for this place. My husband's picture's the first picture you see when you walk in. It's still there. The entrance when you come into this building. One day I would like to go downstairs with you. Would you show it to me? - Yup. - I would like to see that. - By all means. - I would love to see that. Any day you're ready. - One day we'll do that. - Okay. - Okay. It's a date. - Okay. - All right. Right in the front entrance. - Right in the front entrance - - Wow. - The first picture you see as you walk in. You know, there are a lot of pictures hanging from the ceiling. There's a lot of pictures. Yeah. - Well, he's there. - Let's do it. All right. Let's see if we can find him. - Come on. - Oh, my goodness. Are you getting tired? You want me to wheel you? - No! - All right. - Absolutely no. - All right. This is a big place. Do you know where you're going? When we come in the first building - You come into the building - One second. Could it be over there? - Yes, it must be. - You think it might be there? - Yeah. - 'Cause there's more than one entrance. - But we're gonna look at them all. - Well, there's a fence there. Let's have a look. Do you see it here? - No, not here? - It's downstairs, where you come in. All right. Let's go to the other entrance. I think I know which one you're talking about. This way. - I'm thinking it might be along here. - It's in the entrance. Well, let's - let's have a look here. And he never even told me it was there. - He didn't tell you? - No, because it happened before I knew him. - Oh. - So he didn't think of telling me. - All right. - But I was angry. All right. Down here - There are a lot of pictures over here. - Right in the front. - Oh, upstairs? - I think so. - Not here? No. - No, not here. - All right. The front of the building - in the front. Hmm. Well, do you know which way, Ida? Maybe over there? I'm not sure. - I don't know. All I know is that when you come in. - This is the front entrance here. - It has to be here. - So let's have a look. Ida, there's no pictures here. - Well, it is somewhere here. - Okay, let's turn around. - Yeah. - Let's turn around. - Yeah. - There's one more place. - Okay. - So let's try the other. - That's where it has to be. - Are you getting tired? - No. - All right. [Rachel] I'm gonna start to scream soon. I'm gonna go out and throw myself under a car. That's the only thing I can do. He was waiting for the doctor's call when I left. What kind of a mother am I? What kind of a mother am I? I don't know where he is. He might even be in a hospital. I don't know. I'm gonna start to scream at the top of my voice. I don't care if they put me in jail. I have to find my Freddy! I want my Freddy! Fred Baker. My only child. I'm gonna break everything. I - If I can't find him... I will break everything here. Everything. Fred Baker, where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Fred Baker, where are you? Where are you? [Ida] It was hanging up from the ceiling. He must be one of those there, on the wall. You know, we just looked and we - Let me see. I'm gonna ask. - Where is the person - - Well, there's - - We've looked at -We've looked at - - This is Khedive Avenue. That isn't it. Yeah, no. And we looked at the Bathurst, and that wasn't it either. - Well, it has to be somewhere. - Let me see if there is a way of finding out. - [Phone Ringing] - It could be right down here. - [Woman] Hello? - Um, one of the... One of the residents on our floor- her name is Ida Orliffe - She, uh - She - Her husband's photograph apparently is hanging somewhere in Baycrest. And his name is Herb Orliffe. Now, would you have any idea... We... We've been down here looking for it... 'cause she thought it used to be hanging in the front entrance. [Ida] I don't understand this. [Indistinct] Is there any way of you finding out where - It's near the entrance as you come in. It's hanging from the ceiling. [Chattering] - Might as well go and show her where she is. - Yeah. - Even if she doesn't remember. - Yeah. - Yeah, so - - [Knocks] - Hello? - Ida? - [Ida] Yes. - Can we come in? - Well, of course. Come in. Oh, Ida. Okay. Can I just, uh, introduce you to someone... 'cause I'm not sure you're going to remember her. - I'm Vivienne. How are you? Okay? - [Ida] I'm fline. You're not feeling too great. Well, I came to tell you that in the Poslun's auditorium... there is a picture of Alderman Herb Orliffe and his family... from about 1960, it says. - [Ida] My goodness. - Yes. So when you're feeling well - - I can get dressed... - then we'll go for a ride. - They probably want to film that. - Well, thank you very much. You think you can make me happy, Murray? - I - I hope so. - Oh. - I'm not a pusher. - [Laughs] Okay. - You know what I mean? - I know. I - I act like a man. But nice with the women. - Is that right? - Right. - I know you like the women. - Yeah. You're a big flirt. You can have everything you like. - Is that right? - All my body. [Laughs] Eee! - Oh, you're a devil. - No, I'm not. - Oh. - I'm a gentleman. Oh, okay. You're a nice girl. My name is Murray Cornish. - Did you know? - I knew that. Dr. Murray Cornish. - I was a captain. - You were a what? - A captain. - Of what? - In the service. - Oh, is that right? I was in the army for six years. - I didn't know that. Whereabouts? - Oh -You weren't born. - Oh, okay. - I'm born. Where... Where were you in the army? Where? - When the war was on. - Where were you? Down in Italy. - In Italy? - Oh, yes. Hooray. Three cheers! You're having a good day today. I see you're in a happy mood. - It's only in the morning. - Oh, is that right? It's in the morning. I've been - l-I used to be on - in Italy... Spain... everywhere. S - S-So. [Woman] That must have been very interesting. - No, it isn't. - No? - Terrible. - Tell me about it. I will. One day I will. - Not today? - I might. - It's a tough one. - It's not easy for you to talk about that? Well, sometimes I do. - It's not nice. - Uh-huh. I don't want anyone to say it's a good show or something. No. It's too bad. I lost a few friends. I nearly got hurt. I was - I don't like it. - I never liked it. - Mm-hmm. And I love - I love you. I love you too, Murray. I love you. - Remember - Smile at us once in a while. - Mm-hmm. Give me one. [Clicks Teeth] - Right? - That's all you need is a smile? It's one of the good, important ones. - It is. You're absolutely right. - Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. What's been happening? - What's been happening? - Oh, some of the girls aren't feeling good. - You're kidding. Which girls? - One - One passed away. Max passed away. And he was my best friend. - Did you know about that? - Yeah, you told me. Yeah. - So, does it make you feel sad? - Pardon? - Are you sad? - Of course. I will always miss Max. Of course you will. Come. We'll sit here. Yeah. So, um, what hap - How did this happen? I don't know. What are you feeling now? - What am I feeling? - Yeah. How are you feeling? - I don't feel very good since then. - No? How do you feel? It - It struck me. - It was like a blow to me when he passed away. - Yeah, it was sudden. It was - It was terrible. I never felt that way before. He always used to say to me... "You know, Claire... if it won't be you, it'll never be anybody else." - What does that mean? - He wanted me to marry him. - Did he ask you? - Sure. - So why didn't you? - So I said I wasn't ready to - - I wasn't ready to get married. - What are you waiting for? I wasn't ready - It is a lot of things you have to do when you get married. Like what? What did you have to do? Inviting the people. There's a lot of work involved. Yeah. Sure. I would have helped you. Max was a wonderful man. - He was never married, was he? - No. - I know that. - No. - So you would have been his first wife - - And again he said to me - He always said to me, "Claire, if it won't be you... it'll never be anybody else." I'll never forget those words. They're very special words. Right? - Do you ever think about Daddy? - Yeah. You remember they both had the same name? - Hmm? - Daddy and Max - - Yeah. - Have the same name. - Sam. - No, Sam was your father. - Eh? - Sam was your father. - Yeah. - I'm talking about your husband. Max - my father. - Your father? - Yes. - And Max. - Your husband. - Not Max that you know from here. - Yeah. Your husband Max. - Do you remember Daddy? - Oh. My first husband. Yeah. - Yeah, I remember. - You think about him much? No. But he was so good to me. Well, you have your memories. That's the best thing to keep. Nobody can take that away. Right? - Hi, Ida. Is it okay if we come in? - Yeah. Vivienne is here to take you... to show you the photograph of you and your family. Would you like to go see it? - I'm going. - Good. Let's go. Okay. So this is where you were thinking about the entrance, I think. I'll show you this one. - Okay? - My husband's here somewhere. Yep, yep, yep. And, uh, then over here... this is Ben and Hilda Katz. - Look over here. - This is called the Ben and Hilda Katz Building... because they gave the $3 million to help start it. - I knew that. - So there they are. And if the foundation... are going to have people here all the time who've done things for Baycrest. So these were the first 64 people that were chosen. And we just opened it the week before last. - My husband's somewhere here too. - Not on this one yet. No. We're going up in the auditorium to find him. - And this is the Heritage Museum. - Just a minute. What? You know who that is? You may have met Ted and Alma. - Ted is still - - Oh, I know them. You know them? Ted is still volunteering up on the palliative care. - I knew them very well. - Yes. Okay? So you know some of these people? Um - This is the original deed... for the house down on Cecil Street... in 1918. It was found recently, and we've had it framed to go with the photographs. Okay? That's where Baycrest came from - a house all those years ago. - And my husband's somewhere here too. - Yep. Yeah. Isn't that great? This is the auditorium. - And - - That should be him. I should remember this. [Chattering] And this is the gift that Al gave us. He gave us all these photographs that you see here. All the way down the walls. Look. But you come and have a look here. - Now - - [Ida] Oh, for goodness' sake. How do ya like that one? [Laughs] Have you ever seen that photograph? - Oh, dear. - "Alderman Herbert Orliffe and family around"... Memories, memories, memories, memories. Memories. So who is everyone, Ida? Do you know? - He was very active here. - Yeah. Can you tell us the names? Do you know who they are? - Oh, I know. - Yeah. Okay. So? - That's - - That's my husband. - That's me. - I thought it might be, yes. - Right. Okay. And - - That one's a daughter. - Yeah. - The other one's a daughter. The other one is a son. And that's a daughter. Well, what a lovely family. - Ah, he was a great guy. - Yeah. Well, he looks like a great guy. [Man] A penny for your thoughts. I'm thinking about the - the store we had - about your father. - Yeah? - But I don't remember him very well. I remember you were a little boy... and you printed your name on the sidewalk. - Yeah, I did that. - I remember that. We used to keep the store open till 12:00 at night. Well, that was many, many years ago. Well, your father was still doing it. But he stopped doing it. He stopped doing that about 10 years before you sold it. And Goodman or Goldman - What was his name? He used to come around. He - He lost his business. - I don't know. - His son broke up his business. - Hmm. I don't remember that. - He used to come every night and talk to your- to your father [Coughs] - After we closed the store. - Yeah? - They used to sit down and talk. I don't know who you're talking about. - Well, you don't remember. I remember. - I don't remember. "Goldman" or "Goodman" was his name. Don't remember that story. Do you remember working in real estate? Oh, yeah. I sold a whole street once. When I had the business, your father was still alive. Yeah. He used to come home and go upstairs. I had his supper ready for him on the table. When he came down, I went up... and I had a little - a little snack, a little supper- nothing much. I was always very busy. Do you remember Mr. Goldhar? - Yep. - He came every day. [Woman] That must have been who she was talking about before. Oh, did I - I mentioned it already? Well, you were wondering ifhe was Goodman or... He was a very nice man... Mr. Goldhar. And he loved me - not in that way. But - Oh, well, he - he put his arms around me. He kissed me. He loved me. He laughed. He did anything I told him to. He came every day for breakfast. He was there at about, uh, 6:30, 7:00 for breakfast. He says his wife is still sleeping. She doesn't make him breakfast. I remember - I didn't think I would remember anything from there. I remember you came down, and you should have been sleeping upstairs. You climbed - You used to climb out of your crib. - Yeah? - That you don't remember. I remember you told me about it. You used to climb out of the crib, come down. And I was - It was almost midnight. And I was ready to close. And then you -you - - This was the store? - The store, yeah. And -And you vomited on - on - A woman was standing there, and you vomit -vomited on her. - Really? - [Laughing] I can never forget that. She was so mad. [Laughs] [Woman] Hello. - When can I go home? - Home? Where would you like to go, Dad? Hi. [Kisses] Hello. Hello, Joe. [Both Laughing] I wish I were - - Well, you wish you were what? - With you. With me? You are with me. - Right now. - That's good. That's not what I said though. - What do you mean? - When you were... born. When I was born? You mean changing diapers and things? - I did that. - I know you did. Remember, once I went out into the road... and you waited, and you gave me a spanking... for going out in the road? - Do you remember? - Oh, I remember that one too. That was a tough - - And you - - That was a tough corner. And you used to take me fishing? Right? Oh, I did. Every week. Every week we went fishing and horseback riding. Remember? - Do you - - Well, I liked doing those things. - We enjoyed ourselves. - We did enjoy ourselves. I'm still livin'. Yes. And I'm glad you are. - I'm not bad, eh? - I think you're great. You still look pretty handsome to me. [Chuckles] - I'm not bad. - No. - I feel all right. - That's good. I'm glad. I'm getting old. - Are you getting old? - I don't remember everything. But you know what you always said, Dad? - What? - You said that when a person reaches 80... they have the right to forget whatever they want. - Is that right? - That's what you said. So I tell everybody, if they forget something... I said my father says, "When you're 80, you can forget - you have the privilege to forget whatever you want." - How do you like that? - [Chuckles] I made that as a real... appointment... and maybe it's really true. - I've got something for you. - No, no, no. - I've got something for you. - What do you got? What have you been asking for for the last two weeks? - I don't know. What did I ask for? - Take a look. Come on. Oh, for heaven's sake. Thank you. My husband looks good. [Chuckles] What can I say? I used to be thin once upon a time... believe it or not. Haven't we all? After he died, I - I found a change in myself. My body changed. Everything changed. I know if any - I don't know if anyone has ever told you that before. And this is the first time I'm talking about it. [Laughing] He was one wonderful guy. But I had a wonderful life. And that's the thing. I was one of the luckiest women. And then he left me. God took him away... and left me with three small kids. [Laughing] And now when I look back at it... I can't understand how I did it. I can't. I went to work. I had three kids. I put them - I took them to a nursing school in the morning. I picked them up after 5:00. We came home and we had dinner. Sometimes I cheated. I used to go and buy dinner and then pick them up. [Laughing] Ah, dear. But they liked me to go to the store with them. Ah. Where did the years go? Hi, Daddy. He was the one that got the license for this building. Nice guy. [Woman] You gave me a little bit of a scare... when you told me you had pains in your chest and back. You have to let somebody know. If you're having pains in your chest and your back- In my chest that goes through to my back. - Is that what's happening right now? - Mm-hmm. You know what? I think maybe I better take you back to the area, just to be safe. - No. - Are you sure? - I'm -Yeah - - She might be pregnant. [Laughing] How do you say- She - She says maybe you're pregnant. [Laughing] - That would be interesting. - It would be a very good thing... if you would - if you would find me a really good husband. It's already too late. If you're pregnant, it's already over... - [Claire] Oh. - I've seen you with a new young man around here, Claire. I know that you do have someone new in your life. - Oh. - Do you remember that? Memory is one of the things she hasn't got. And I think his name is Albert. - Oh, Al... - Oh! - [Laughing] - Albert! - [Claire] Forget it! Forget it! - Why? I need a bigger man. - Bigger? - Yeah. - What do you - - He's - - Bigger in what way? - He's too short for me. - I need a tall man. - He's too - He's too... He's too short? When do we take off all our clothes? Ah, Helen. Helen! [Claire] I don't care what you say. Lfhe's good-looking, I don't give him to anybody. So you mean we don't have a chance around you. Is that what we're saying? - Oh, no. I don't say that at all. - Oh. I take him fast and whisk him away. - l... I don't give any other woman a chance. - I've noticed that. You know what, Helen? You can take lessons from her. - She is a pro. - [No Audible Dialogue] resync by margjakob And this for £20, Mr Jarndyce All signed "R Carstone" This for 30 And this, again, for 20 And this, again for 20 140 all told Exactly, Mr Jarndyce Ah, Miss Summerson Mr Vholes has brought an ugly report of poor Rick's situation, Esther I have staved off many little matters for Mr C, but there is a limit to staving off and we have reached it So what is to happen? I believe he intends to sell out of the army, Miss Summerson That will buy him a little time, but face him with new difficulties mundane, but real enough Food, lodgings and so on You see my difficulty, Esther I can go behind his back but I can't help him openly He would never accept it Let me go down to Deal and talk to him If he would only give up this wretched case, everything could be put right Even now You might think that, Miss Summerson, but it is my duty to point out that Mr Carstone has an interest in Jarndyce and Jarndyce, and a right to pursue that interest It is not for me to tell him to give up that interest All right, Mr Vholes Miss Summerson will communicate with Mr Carstone Will you allow me to give you some lunch before you leave? Thank you, no My digestion is much impaired I am a poor knife and fork at any time With your permission, I will take my leave, sir Why didn't our guardian send for me when Mr Vholes was here? I don't know, Ada After all, Richard's affairs are of more concern to me than to you or to him They're of concern to us all, Ada Perhaps he didn't want you upset He thinks of me as a child still I want to come down to Deal with you when you go I think that's a very good idea Perhaps between us we can make him see sense I don't like it, Esther When you speak of Richard as if you think he's taken leave of his senses I didn't mean it like that I've made up my mind Ada, are you sure it won't be throwing good money after bad? I don't care I love him and I want to help him , and that's all I know Rosa, come and sit down by me Rosa, remember I told you that I might have to send you away? Yes, m'lady I have written to Mr Rouncewell, and he will come for you tomorrow So soon? Yes, it must be soon Rosa, I did not want to part with you, but it is for the best I hope you will think kindly of me, Rosa, whatever you hear about me Ah ! Here we are, ladies As snug and cosy a room as any you'll find in Deal Is this your first visit here? Yes, it is Are you meeting someone from the Indiaman? She's due to drop anchor off the Downs, on the afternoon tide Lots of folks gone down to see her boats coming to shore No, we've come to see an officer who's billeted here I wonder, could you tell us how to get to the barracks? Surely, Miss Nothing easier KNOCK ON DOOR Yes? Esther Ada What are you doing here? Who would have thought of seeing you? I was just writing to you Come in, sit down I , er I've nothing to offer you but myself, I'm afraid That's all we wanted Well So what were you writing? May we read it? Oh, no need You can read it in the room It's all up with me here If you'd have come an hour or two later, I'd have been gone Yes, I'm selling out That's the end of another career Is it really as hopeless as that? It is I'm so near disgrace here, they'd rather be rid of me And it's not just the debts Wait, maybe when you come back, we should just sit down and talk. Just the three of us. What do you think? You want us to come with you, Dad? No! I mean, I have to do this myself. We really gonna talk? I brought a six-pack. If things go south, we can just watch the game. You want to laugh? That last box of stuff that Dad packed into his car was my stuff. No way. Oh no. I didn't have the heart to tell him. Hey, you know, I don't have a problem with hugging. I mean, I don't. I don't have a problem with hugging, either. Get away from me! Kokoro egakidasu chizujou no michinaru frontier Tobira hiraitara michi wa tsuzuiteiru yo Hokori makiagete kimi no machi e Sora to daichi ga kasanaru ruuto de Hashiru minamikaze ni notte Aoku somaru kaze wo kitte Kokorogoto kakedashiteirun da Mahiru no tsuki wo oikoshite Kinou to wa chigau sekai e Dokomademo hashirinuketeku Ano kaze no you ni Ano kaze no you ni To repeat: In a press conference just held, the Beijing government has announced that if there are no signs of a resolution by 6:00, the situation will inevitably develop into a serious crisis. In response, Secretary-General Chang of South China, also known as the Democratic Federation of China, questioned if there was some connection to the terrorist acts committed by the unidentified AS... Listen up. We have until 6:00 AM, which means we have 90 minutes left. "Burning Hong Kong" We have until 6:00 AM, which means we have 90 minutes left. "Burning Hong Kong" If we fail, that's it. If we fail, that's it. Hong Kong will become a sea of flames. And I doubt it will stop there. You kept her face pretty? Apparently you're soft on women. Haven't you found Yu Fang yet? All of the preparations are complete. Just watch. Big Sis, this is Yu Lan! I'm surrounded by all these scary men! What are you doing? No! Let me go! Oh no, I've been caught! Help me, Big Sis! Ow! Ow! I'm gonna die! No more! Not there! This is a situation neither the North nor the South should want. Not only that, there's absolutely no consistency to the Venom's destruction. So it's most likely the work of someone operating independently. But who in the world would make the North and South fight each other, and for what purpose? President Hunter, you have a guest. She has been anxious to see you. It seems urgent. Turn her away. - Even you should understand what kind of crisis I'm facing right now. - Hey! Get out of my way! Hey you, you shouldn't be here! I'm telling you to let me see him! A Helmajistani? Nope, don't know anyone like that. But a lot of Arabs live in that building over there. So you're Kashim, huh? You reek of alcohol, you worthless brat. Are you trying to ruin the reputation of "Bdakshon's Tiger"? As if I even care. State your business. A Chinese girl asked me to give this to you. Take it and get lost. Five possible sniping positions. Sousuke Sagara, correct? Correct. There is a taxi waiting at the north exit of the park. Get in it. Who asked you to do this? Does this have some connection to the incidents occurring here? State your name. What would you do if I told you? Sousuke Sagara. Go to the second floor of the building behind you. He is waiting for you in the back room there. Who is "he"? I suggest you try to remember what this place is called. Kowloon? Yo! What has it been, three months? I'm so glad to see you, Kashim. Ga-Gauron! You seem so completely shocked. Is it really that strange that I'm still alive? Back then... You should've... Died, is that it? I sure hope you haven't forgotten, now. My Codarl was equipped with a Lambda Driver, you know. It can even protect the operator when the unit self-destructs. Well, I still ended up like this anyway. Hey, now. Just look at the kind of condition I'm in. I think it's pointless to be hasty. What is it you're after? Come on, now. I just wanted to chat with you. Stop playing with me! But I'm serious. As you can see, my time is running out. So I had the Codarl go berserk through the city, to lure you and that white AS here. And I scattered messages to you all over the city. Majid was a tactician who once made a name for himself as a guerilla leader in Helmajistan. His nickname was "Bdakshon's Tiger." And then there's the assassin he gave a name to: Kashim. In other words, "The son of Bdakshon's Tiger" is you. Hamidra is a former electrician and a comrade of yours. I knew that if I sent out a message to "Meet Hamidra at Tsim Sha Tsui," you'd track down a Helmajistani electrician. It was a message that would get through to no one else in the world but you. But I thought you would bring a bunch of your friends with you. Why did you come by yourself? Did something happen? That's none of your business! So you've finally started to feel uncomfortable, huh? What? In Mithril, I mean. Being in a military unit that has pretensions of being an ally of Justice is enough to frustrate anybody. Especially a man like you. Are you through with your speech? Then tell me about the organization behind you. I'm amazed. Your work is still that important to you? Fine then. I'll tell you. Amalgam. That's the name of the organization I was working for. Its goals are the research and development of the latest weapons, and the testing of them in actual combat. They would even create regional conflicts to do so. A large number of Amalgam sympathizers have permeated the hard-line factions of every nation. There are a lot of guys in both the East and West who want to create a Cold War, and maintain a demand for munitions. Is that organization involved in the turmoil here, too? No, this is my own handiwork. I'll bet those Amalgam guys are going crazy trying to find us right about now. Venom! Yu Fang? It is time for me to go. I see. Take care. Farewell, Sensei. A long time ago, I raised a set of twins named Yu Fang and Yu Lan. They were a lot like you. Even now they're still as loyal as dogs. The turmoil here happened because I ordered them to cause it. But tonight, Yu Fang is probably going to die fighting Mithril. And if they don't get her, she'll just get killed by Amalgam's Task Force. Task Force? They're a terrifying bunch. The commander of that task force is incredibly skilled, but one hell of a nutcase. Your friends probably don't stand a chance against him. The moment they run into him, they'll all be killed. She's appeared! She's in Jordan! All right! Time to hunt the little kitty down! You said "Amalgam," right? Are there any Whispered in that organization? Yes. He is becoming one of the key members. If they have a Whispered, then why are they targeting Chidori? They shouldn't need her anymore, right? Because it's not complete. Apparently there are differences in the knowledge that each individual Whispered has. If there's someone who has extensive knowledge of the theory behind Lambda Driver technology, there's also someone who only has knowledge of submarine technology. That's why every time a new Whispered is found, it's necessary to determine which field that one is strong in. That's what those tests that we ran on that girl in the Khanka Autonomous Region were for. And the results showed that Kaname Chidori is a Whispered. That's all I've heard, though. Where is Amalgam's base? ! Who are their key figures? Gimme a break already. I'm getting sick of this subject. It's boring, and it's not even the main issue here. Hey now, does it look like I care if I die? Tell me. Please. "Please," huh? Are you really the same Kashim I knew? What? Remember! What were you doing when I first met you five years ago? Back then, I was an instructor at a mercenary camp. You were a guerilla fighting against the Soviets. We weren't allies, but we weren't really enemies either. I still remember it very well. You had a really good look in your eyes back then. Eyes that didn't either reject or affirm life. Eyes without any worries, doubts, or suffering. Yes, eyes like those of a saint. Anyone would probably say they were beautiful. Do you understand? In other words, there was consistency, no contradiction. When we met again in Khanka, your eyes were still as beautiful as I remembered. The eyes of someone who has no human weakness. I thought it would've been pretty nice if I could've killed you the way you were then. But that... What's with that face? Venom spotted! It's in the Jordan area. Equip the ARX-7 with a rapid-deployment booster. Supply it with a Boxer shot cannon, and put it on standby in the elevator. Captain, the use of the Arbalest is supposed to be prohibited. We can use it as a decoy. I want to reduce the danger they are in as much as I can. And besides, Sagara still hasn't... I am sorry to say this, Captain, but the only conclusion I can come to is that Sagara has abandoned his mission. Relying on that AS and that man is an obvious mistake. You cannot say that for certain. This is not some school club activity! I am well aware of that! Are you going to lecture me now of all times? Ma'am, this time I simply refuse to stand by and watch! You are allowing your personal feelings to interfere, and are even trying to twist an order from the highest level! What will become of the organization and its regulations? Not only that, you are giving preferential treatment to an officer who has abandoned his duty. This is outrageous! Very well. Then tell me, who was it who forced a ridiculous amount of heavy responsibility upon that officer? Well, uh... It was us! If you think otherwise, then tell me! Six months ago at that airport, who was it who risked his own life in order to provide us with valuable information? Four months ago, who was it who faced an absurdly powerful enemy machine without any preparation and defeated it? Deep in the mountains of Helmajistan, who was it who recaptured a nuclear warhead that was being smuggled even while his comrades were being killed one by one? Three months ago, who was it who gave his all to protect this ship? Tell me, who was it? It was Sergeant Sagara. Correct. And yet you're still going to blame him? You're going to just brand him a coward? No. If you really want me to, I'll admit it. I love him. But those personal feelings are irrelevant right now. I am positive he will return and do his job. He will not abandon us. No matter how hopeless he may seem right now, I am sure he will pull himself together again and come back to us. You can't change a person's basic nature. So he will come back, because he is strong and kind! Strong and kind? Captain, do you think that is enough to convince me? It's not about that, is it? What you doubt is my judgment. Commander Richard Mardukas. Do you believe in me? Or do you not? Are you going to believe in me, Teletha Testarossa, who has protected this ship to this day? Go on, make your decision. You've grown strong, haven't you? Aye, ma'am! Equip the ARX-7 with a rapid deployment booster and Boxer shot cannon, and have it stand by in the elevator! Equip the ARX-7 with a rapid deployment booster and Boxer shot cannon, and have it stand by in the elevator. Aye. Thank you. I want everyone to make it back safely! She says... The communication line just opened on its own. Did someone let us hear that on purpose? Who knows. But I never would've expected Tessa to argue so forcefully with the XO like that. She wants everyone to make it back safely, huh? What do you think, guys? That's what I intend to do, of course. We can't make our princess sad, now can we? To think she'd be so worried about us... I'm honestly moved! It's just like her. She's a good officer. We have until 0600 hours. If you call yourselves pros, you'd better live up to that. I don't make mistakes. You don't make mistakes, either. And that's going to get everything wrapped up nice and tight. Got that? - Roger! - Roger! - Roger! What a horrible look you've got on your face. Are you worried? Or maybe torn? What happened to the "saint" I knew? I'm disappointed. You're full of internal conflict now. You're not even worth killing. Shut up! You're the same as me. So why are you trying to be a normal guy now? You make me want to puke. I'm telling you to shut up! No, I'm telling you. Ever since you met those guys at Mithril and at that school, you've become worthless. You've gotten pulled in by those worthless scum and become a bore. I just told you a little while ago that you were frustrated, right? That's their fault. Their so- called "humanism." The assassin-saint Kashim I knew would never fit in there. You're being suckered by them. Listen. The weak are parasites of the strong. They dazzle you with words like "kind friend" and "trust," and then they suck your strength until there's nothing left. Tell me your true feelings. Do you really enjoy being with a bunch of weaklings? Come on, answer me. I'm asking you if you really enjoy being with a bunch of weaklings. Well? I'm telling you to shut the hell up! So you don't even have the drive to kill me? I'm going to die soon. And I plan on bringing others down with me. I ordered Yu Fang to go berserk in Hong Kong until the whole city is a sea of flames. And I ordered Yu Lan to get rid of the biggest cancer of all... the one that caused your downfall. Cancer? The woman, Kashim. Haven't you heard yet? I've heard every single word of it. Her body was mangled, still wearing her cute school uniform. I heard she was pretty tough though, and she didn't beg for her life. Her last words were "I'm sorry." I wonder who they were meant for? It brings tears to my eyes! Y-You're lying! It's true! I wanted to show you a picture of her body so I could see the despair on your face, but I think I'm going to resist. 'Cause you know what, the damage is written all over your face, Kashim! My woman in Tokyo! I'm already too late! Aww, poor Kaname- chan! She was such a nice girl, too! Gauron! That's right, I killed her. Now hate me. Go on, hate me, Kashim! Kitto kimi wa kyou no hi mo Massugu ashita wo miteru Kaze ga fuku ano oka ni saita himawari no you ni Donna ni tooku hanareteite mo Kono utagoe ga kimi ni todoku you ni Namida ga zutto tomaranai yoru Kimi no mado wo terasu tsuki ni naritai Mata kanarazu aeru to Sou omou kara "Next Episode" "Next Episode" Gauron. "Next Episode" My old enemy was the only one who saw completely through me. "Next Episode" The devil beckons, and the final calculated curse surfaces. Next time, the final episode: "The Continuing Day by Day" "The Continuing Day by Day" Next time, the final episode: "The Continuing Day by Day" "The Continuing Day by Day" Only one thing can crush despair: Only one thing can crush despair: That single fierce blow. How many of these did you find? Just one so far. Boy, that's pretty damn good. Near perfect. What's perfect? I was doing a random check, found a counterfeit $100 chip. Costs a lot of money to make a phony this good. You guys found a fake chip? How long has he been on duty? He's been up 36 hours. I told him to take a break- You go home. Get some sleep. I'm fine. If it's such a good fake, how can you tell it's fake? Felt a little heavy in my hand, so I weighed it. Ends up it's 34 centigrams over specs, which only allow for a seven centigram variance margin. You could tell this was 34 centigrams heavy just by holding it? So happens I could. Why are you being such a hater? You know how little 34 centigrams is? Shut up. Both of you shut up. You-You... go home, get some sleep or I will put you to sleep. - Yeah. - And you, just find out if anything unusual happened on the floor last 24 hours. I'm taking all the new chips off the floor. - Whoa. That's big. - You got a better idea? - I can stick around and help. - Excuse me. I'm sorry. I thought I was getting through to you. Go home. Okay. I'm gonna be here another 20 minutes. I gotta meet my accountant. Go home. Okay. Here. Hey, um, tell the cage, uh, we're gonna switch out the chips. Yes, all of them. Ed, it looks like the only counterfeits are hundreds. So, what's going on? We're just changing our chips... to get our players' feedback on our color combinations. - Well, I prefer burgundy and taupe. - And you, sir? Only color I care about is green. Know what I'm sayin'? Ed, they took us for over a million. Percentage of counterfeits stayed consistent. What, they have a million of our money? Million point two. Also, I looked into anything unusual on the floor yesterday. Only thing was a blackjack dealer, Jerry Smoltz, who was dealing 75% winners for three straight hours. One of Sam's whales won 300 grand at a private table. And he's back at it today. But I checked the tape and everything's on the up-and-up. Just one of those runs. Right. Look. I don't want Monica finding out about these phony chips, all right? She owns the place. Kinda hard to keep her out of the loop. Unless she's preoccupied with some other major crisis like, uh, this dealer who can't seem to deal a losing hand. I'm just afraid, Mike, that if she finds out about it, the wrong heads can roll. You know? Like mine? I don't want the cops involved. Not yet anyway. Not until we get our money back. - Mr. Deline. - How are you, Sarasvati? Good. They told me you needed to see me right away. Right. The, um, daily revenue reports, when are they scheduled to go out? An hour or so, but if you need it sooner- No, no, no. Actually, I'd like the distribution delayed till I tell you. Mr. Deline, under normal circumstances, I would gladly accommodate your request, but Miss Mancuso had already requested- You just tell Miss Mancuso that it was my decision. We don't want her to find out about the counterfeit chips. Oh. It's very hard for me to be duplicitous. Which is why we love you. Thanks, Mike. Well, plus some of your other outstanding attributes. Please. Please! Tell Miss Mancuso to talk to me. This is Mike. I'll be right down. Two guys throwing' at Bella Petto. Look, man, read the sign. Read the freakin' sign, all right. Look, I am here. Get up, read the sign because- What is the problem? That douche bag took a chair I reserved. I left my magazine and sunblock on the table. Only thing that reserves a chair is a towel. You don't know jack, pal. Sir, there are plenty of other lounges available. Okay, I get it. Uh, first of all, give it another 30 minutes. There'll be 10 more just like her out here. Trust me on this. Looks like your brother from another mother beat you to it. So what you gonna do, hmm? Relax, sit back and enjoy the Bella Petto experience. Believe me, there is nothing more important than asset management. And I mean that, really. Listen, why don't you- Why don't you call me? Okay? Thanks. All right. You setting up shop here? Oh, well, you know. Hey, if, uh, the mountain won't come to Muhammad- Hey, Danny, look. As your accountant and as your friend, I sort of feel I have some kind of fiduciary obligation to advise you- I know. You want me to sell my dad's house. I will. Hey, every month you don't, - you're incurring a wholly unnecessary tax liability. - I get it. - You like that? - Yeah, I get it. Yeah? What about this? What if I put you in touch with a broker? I'd love to chat, Stan, but I gotta go home and get some sleep. Good. Then you can be fresh for my poker game tonight, huh? Yes, sir. Hey. Hey. An accountant that works out of a topless pool. Nice. He's bugging me about selling my dad's house. How much you say he bought the place for? He bought the land for 16,000 and built the house himself. 16,000? Yeah. You know how much it's worth? A million and a half. Excuse me. I think someone took my wallet. You heard Ed. I gotta get some sleep. So- Come on, Jerry. Give him a six. Yes! Look at that. He listens. You are the man, Jerry! Oh! I'm winning more money. I'm winning more money! All right. Keep it comin', Jerry, 'cause I'm in the zone and you are en fuego. I've never seen anything like it. We've switched tables on him. We've switched decks. We even switched chips. The man keeps dealing winners. How much has he cost us? This guy is up 300,000. Are you sure the dealer isn't cheating? Maybe he's signaling the player. We did a complete analysis. It's just one of those streaks. Well, if he continues on one of those streaks, doesn't it make sense to put him where he's gonna cause the least amount of damage? Yes, Miss Mancuso, it does. The people here, do they think about making sense? We try to, Miss Mancuso. And what's with the Miss Mancuso routine? I thought you told me that's what you wanted me to call you. I think somebody needs to work on their sense of humor. It was a joke. Oh. I'm Monica. Got it. Monica. So, Mike- Yes? What sort of impression do I make? Come again? If we were in a bar and you hadn't seen me before. Oh. Can I speak candidly? I insist you speak candidly. I'd think you were a hot piece of ass. Good answer. - Sarasvati. - Yes, Miss Mancuso? You told me you would have the opening day revenue report by now. Where is it? I'm afraid it's still being prepared. Unacceptable. Mr. Deline had some special requests. He suggested you speak to him. Come on. Show some cleavage. It's a casino, not a convent. Okay, okay. That's me taking the first counterfeit I found. Now, let's run it backwards... until we see that specific tray being removed from the cart. All right? Wow. That's an easy gig. We pay these guys for that? Okay. Now follow- Who is that, Marguerite? Follow Marguerite backwards until we see where she got that tray. Keep going. Keep going. 'Cause we want to see where that top chip in the far left column came from. Okay. Give me the casino angle. Boom! Let's see what we got on her. And while you're at it, give me Bella Petto, south deck about 11:00. Go tight on the topless chick near the middle, in the black bikini bottom. She's good, but about 1:30... got two blondes putting oil on each other. Got it bookmarked. Mitch, this is business. Just a skosh more professionalism, if you don't mind. See. See. While you're getting your perv on, this guy's lifting this other dude's wallet. Freeze it. Blow it up. Let's see what we got on him too. I'm in a surveillance zone, baby. What? I bet 50. Holding three clubs, aren't you? Fold. When does the Pussycat Dolls go on? Fold. I'll see your 50. Raise you a hundred. Let's go. Call or fold. Make a decision. - Can we try to finish? - I'm 40 light. You mind? - What? - No, there's no going light in my game, pal. Come on. It's more for you if you win. Doesn't cost you if you lose. - Go ahead. - Aw, man. - Write that down. - What am I, your secretary? Yes. Beat his ass. - Three nines? - Yeah, three nines. Told ya. Good. Good. You deserve it. Hey, I was a fan. Give me at least half. Why don't you run over to that A.T.M. Yeah, right. You can finally pay me back. Oh, damn. You know what? I must have forgotten my debit card. Oh, what a shock. Listen to this. I'm really sorry. If you give me your number, I'll call ya and bring the money to ya. I don't take I.O.U.'s from guys that I just met. Forty bucks. Oh, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. How 'bout this? What's that? Hundred dollar five-team parlay- Bucs, Rams, Chargers, Seahawks, Lions. From the Montecito. Huh? - No way the Rams cover. You kidding? - I owe you 40. This thing pays, you'll get two grand, man. Come on. Come on! Give us a break. Start betting on Korean Ping-Pong. And get out of here. All right, fine. All right. It's me. So what? I don't know anything about fake chips. You don't know anything about fake chips? You cashed it in. This isn't fair. No. - It isn't fair, is it? - It wasn't even my chip. I mean, someone gave it to me. Who? Um, I think his name was Alan or Adam, something like that. Where or when did he give you the chip? I'll tell you if you give me Elton John tickets. Done. Okay, well, like, let's see 'em. Elton John, front row, tomorrow night. Ah! Like, talk. I remember his name-Alex. Alex. Great. Um, when did he give you the chip? Well, see, I was over by the fountains, you know, at the Bellagio, and when I left, this guy Alex sees me, like, a couple of blocks away and he's like, "I saw you over by the fountains. Where are you staying?" And he's kinda hot, so I'm like, "the Montecito." Um, where did he give you the chip? - Here. - Here? - In your room? - Well, like, we had drinks at Pure. And then he's like, "Do you want to go back to your room?" And I'm kinda drunk, so I'm like, "Okay." And then after we hook up, he goes, "Here," ya know, with the chip. And I'm like, "I'm so not that type of a girl." And he's like, "I know. I just, like, like you, so I'm giving you this." Completely believable. Did Alex say he had to leave because he had an early morning meeting he had to get up for? Yeah. How'd you know? Wait a minute. Freeze it. And run that guy. What are you lookin' at? Nothin'. I need the, um, name and address of anyone... that's been fired or quit our chip manufacturer in the last 30 days. Acme? Yeah, that would be the name. Do it. Why did you tell the Indian girl to delay the revenue report? Her name is Sarasvati. And unfortunately we had to fix a glitch... in our asset management ratio analysis program. Or it would have put our activity-based costing system off by three or four percent. Well, we wouldn't want that to happen, now would we? Next time, check with me first. Okay, Eddie? "Eddie." Unbelievable. What? This is a betting slip that guy used to pay me. It's a winner. It's a five-team parlay. - My man, you just won 2,000 bucks. - Two thousand bucks! Two thousand bucks! - Nice. - That'll teach that guy to go light on me. You know what I'm sayin'? Wait. Whoa. You think I should cash this in? Nah, you should frame it, or take it to one of those places where they encase stuff in plastic. I'm a key employee. Gaming Commission says key employees... aren't allowed to wager at the casino that employs them. This was given to you by somebody who was repaying a debt. But they're gonna have me on video cashing the thing in. That doesn't look good. No, no, no. Hey, man, you want to make a little money? Yeah. Cash this in for me, I'll give you 10%. That's 200 bucks. There's a catch, right? No catch. He's just lazy. 'Cause he's lazy. That's hard, man. Right. Two thousand bucks. How 'bout that? So, how are things going? I was gonna head over to my dad's and start clearing the place out. Ah, good move. Mary's gonna go with me. Ah. It's easier to go in with someone else. - Yeah, I hear ya. - Hey, guys. I know you didn't find anything on that guy that took my wallet, but here's the thing. I've been looking all day for a betting slip, and then I remembered it's in my wallet. It was a five-team parlay- Bucs, Rams, Seahawks, Chargers, Lions, for God's sake. It's the first time in my life I got 'em all right. Ticket's worth $2,000. So I figured someone cashes it in, you could look at the videotape. There's our thief. Yeah. Uh, could you excuse me for one moment? Of course, there's no guarantee that the thief would turn it in himself. You meeting us here is kind of a coincidence. We were just discussing your case. That's a great detection idea, Howard, but I guess we feel like you've been inconvenienced enough. So, on behalf of the Montecito, allow me to pay you off on the bet. - There you go. There's eighteen hundred. - Wow. And I'll just pull- 2,000. Thanks. I-I don't know what to say. I will definitely recommend your hotel to everyone I know. That's the guy I played poker with. And our wallet thief. And the guy who cost me 240 bucks. Now it's personal. Uh-oh. Better tell the women and children to take cover. Are you kidding me? Seriously, I.R.S. problems? Forget about it. The I.R.S. is like putty in my hands, honey. Really, no worry. It's putty? Stan, what do you know about that guy Roger who played in your poker game the other night? Uh, why don't you call me. Uh, not much, you know. And I'm really sorry about that whole situation, man, really. The guy is sitting at a table with Paul Anka and he goes light? I was wondering if you have an address, phone number, last name. He robbed one of our guests. Oh, you gotta be- Oh, I am so sorry. No, it's not your fault, but I was just wondering if maybe you could help me find him. He was just a fill-in. He was referred to me by one of my clients. You know Pomona, dancer at the Rhino? No, Stan, I don't. You don't? She was here just yesterday. I don't know her, but maybe you can tell me a little bit about her. She lives in Henderson. I got her in zero coupon bonds. She just got herself a new Mustang convertible. I want to- And for what it's worth, if you ever see her, uh, they're real. Whoa. I want an address. All right. You got it, boss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. Sorry. Sorry. - I want that man fired. - I'm not sure we can do that. Says who? Fired for what? He's cost this hotel a lot of money. Let me tell you about something that'll cost a lot more. It's called a wrongful termination suit. - This dealer hasn't violated any state or federal laws? - No. - Hotel or Gaming Commission policies? - I don't believe so. And there's no acts of moral turpitude, no guest complaints? What about the boss's complaints? You have no grounds for dismissal. And I assume I can't fire you for providing completely disagreeable advice. I can't fire him. Happy? I'm so sorry. Well, don't celebrate too much. I have a plan. Can't wait. I want you to find a cooler. Did you just say a "cooler"? Yeah, I just said a cooler. Right. Monica, I know people talk about coolers, oh, and they made the movie, but, uh, there's no such thing as a cooler. Did I hear someone mention a cooler? Hi, Monica. Because I am one. Every time I go to a table, whoever's there starts to lose. Doesn't matter how much they were winning before, I show up, everything heads south. It's wacky. Delinda, I want you to go over to that table... and stand as close to the dealer as you can get. - I don't want to make people lose. - Oh, I guess I'd call it an order. I'm just here to try to patch things up with my father. We're not really speaking. I work at Pure. Oh, my mistake. I will just have to take my frustration out... on your good friend, Sam, who is working here. Okay, I'll do it. What do you think of our new owner? Pretty tough broad. But, uh, I guess she has to be. She's a cooler. Serious? Told ya. Maybe I'm not a cooler. Well played. Only one guy's left Acme recently- a Richie Tomczak. Uh, but it was for medical reasons. His doctor said that he had some bad disease, only had a couple months to live. What did I ask you for, a medical report or address? Uh, yes, sir. An address. Mr. Tomczak? Richie? Hey. Holy- I guess your doctor was right. What did you tell the cops? What do you think I told them? I told them the truth. I mean, pretty close. Actually, I told them, uh, I went there to talk to Richie... about some possible counterfeiting problem we had. Anyway, I told them the door was unlocked. Sit down. So they'll focus on the murder. Right. You think Tomczak was involved with the chip counterfeiting? There's a pretty good chance. You needed someone's expertise, you know, for the clay formulation and the mold making. But he left Acme before the chip design was finalized. Yeah. Okay. So, the counterfeiters, they walk in the minute we open, right- 12:01. They buy a legitimate $100 chip. They walk out. They start making their own by 12:02. Now if they're any good, they start cranking out them phonies before noon. Except, Ed, the machine that produces the high quality chips... is extremely rare and extremely expensive. And I talked to the manufacturer, and he said there's only six in existence... and the only one anywhere near here is at Acme. All the others, there's no way they could have produced the fakes... and gotten 'em back here in the same day. Did you talk to the other five places that have these machines to see if they still have 'em? - I will get on that. - Good. Oh, listen. I need you to check surveillance video... for anyone that came in, uh, between 12:00 and 3:00 yesterday... and went directly to the cage or to a table and cashed in a $100 chip. Mr. D., that's like thousands of people. - We might need more time- - We don't need any time. You-You need time because I expect this done by tonight. So does Jake care that you're helping me with all this stuff? He's working late. Seems like he does that a lot. Remember this? Yeah, I remember that. I remember how pissed you were when I solved it before you. I'm still pissed. I wonder what I could get for this thing- If you ask me one more time... how much you could get for that on eBay, I swear, I will deck you. I'm not gonna say anything. Uh-huh. Probably couldn't get more than a couple of bucks. That's it. Give me that. You can have it. There you go. Thank you. Well, we should probably go to the bedroom and... start clearing stuff out of there. Right. Yes. This is weird. And this is really weird. Who's this? - I don't know. - How could there be a photo of my dad with his arm around this woman... on his nightstand and I don't even know who she is. Maybe she's an old friend. Nah, she's gotta be a new friend. This was taken at the Wynn. The Wynn didn't open until just before he died. Then maybe she's a new friend. Why wouldn't he tell me about her? I know. It's because I didn't call him often enough. I wasn't gonna say that. All right. Let's hit the closet. Yeah. We did it. What did we do? It took a lot of people. It took a lot of man-hours, but we checked everyone that came into the casino between noon and 3:00. You want to guess how many people that is? No. What do you got? Three people came in and went directly to a cage or table and cashed in $100 chips. One of those people, I would definitely call him a person of interest. You know what I mean? No. His name's Ben Hollis. No record. But you remember Sean... who got her counterfeit chip from the guy she hooked up with-Alex. If you keep tracking Ben, like I did, you get to this. Ben giving Alex a stack of phony chips. Interesting coincidence. Okay. Find him. Gift shop. What about those chip-making machines? All five machines outside Vegas are accounted for. One was recently sold and is in transit from New Jersey to California, but the buyer says he's been checking with the driver every day. - The truck's currently in Colorado. - How can you be sure of that? I got the driver's number, called him and verified the location of the cell- westbound I-70, just this side of the Eisenhower Tunnel. Yes, but cellphone calls can be rerouted. You get any specs on the rig? Yes, upstairs. All right. "Swami, punish Jalandhar before reaching Kailash." Let him come here. He will get the punishment for his sins. "Shiv, if you want to escape from war, handover Parvati to me" "Why are you quiet, swami? -Shukracharya, you prayed me..." ...and got Mritunanjay Mantra. Is this is your gratefulness? "Being Daityaguru, I am under compulsion, Lord" "lf you don't leave this wicked now only, I will destroy all..." "...your meditative powers just now.-Mother, don't do that." "When Jalandhar is with you, why are you shaking with fear?" Does it suit a teacher to be scared near a fearless disciple? I was just... "Mahadev, till today, you have never snatched the boons given." "You can't destroy my powers. Being Daityaguru, I have to..." ...support my disciple - Your shaking has gone as soon as you came into your limits. Strength has come into you "You are not less powerful, attack and fulfil your wishes." Parvati has taken my heart. My mind will get peace only after getting her. "By corrupting Jalandhar's mind, you woke up my anger, Shukra..." You can't escape from the bad consquences of this. "Daityaguru, how you are in this bad situation?" This is the result of supporting the wicked one. "When I have supported Jalandhar, I have to face the punishment" Lord Shiv has shown me mercy by removing me away from... "... Jalandhar, otherwise I would have been destroyed by his anger" "Lord Shiv, I will never forget your mercy." "Now you return to your hermitage, Shukracharya." "Come near me, beauty, you will get more comforts than heaven..." ...with me. I will make you more happy than this grave dweller. "Come near me - Beware, Jalandhar, Veerbhadra" "Veerbhadra, finish this wicked who is eyeing Parvati wrongly" "As you order, Lord" You saw Veerbhadra's condition. Come fight me if you can. wicked Jalandhar Take your weapon Pick your weapon "Mother, the fight between Lord Jaldhar has become very fierce" "What will be the result? -Victory will be ours, Nandi." My lord will finish that rogue very soon. Hail Lord Shiv "War is over, Jalandhar is defeated. We want privacy." "What happened, Swami? Why did you back away?" "Devi, You only hold my hands and take me to an isolated place" You have never behaved liked this before. What has happened "Nothing, hold me in your arms, come my beauty." "Come, beauty." "lllusionary Jalandhar, your death is near. You can't live any more" "What sort of Shiv Leela is this, Lord? - It is like that" And Shiv Leela's beginning end can't be ascertained at all. "Now it is half-way. When it ends, it will only bring welfare." We all have to wait for that. Shri Hari Vishnu! Shri Hari Vishnu! Come to Kailash Bhavan immediately. Mother Parvati is calling out to you. Some bad incident has surely happened I am going there immediately "Tell me Devi, for what reason work have you called me." Jalandhar has eyed me badly and tried to spoil my sacredness. Now his end should surely come - But how? You are asking me that. One who is eyeing other's wife wrongly... "...and crosses his limits, has no right to live." "He attacked Kailash, he eyed me wrongly called me..." ...a beauty. His intentions were'nt sacred. He had sin in his mind I want to finish Jalandhar. He has also challenged my swami and his strength. Why and for what reason? "What are you thinking, Shri Hari? If that demon lives,..." ...he will create havoc in the universe. "Hey Shiv. -You tried to deceive me, you deserve punishment." "l am Mahabali Jalandhar, I am born to defeat Devatas Gods" Face my attack "Rahu, your head is bowed down. Are you ashamed of your deeds." Ashamed as well as sad. -lf proud and bad people... "...start feeling ashamed, there will be peace in this world." Bad deeds will only vanish -Why you always sing the... "...tune of world's welfare, Narad -As that is the best tune." The creation is there and runs due to this tune only. "Whoever learns this tune, nothing else remains for him to learn." "You also learn this, and you will prosper-Will you stop talking..." ...and listen to me. - So you also have something to tell. Good! Tell me quickly - You were asking me the reason for my shame. "Y es, whenever you realize your mistakes, you feel shy." "But what is your reason, did Daitya king Jalandhar scold you" "Don't talk about him, he is Daitya enemy not a king." "lf I had known his wickedness, I would'nt have supported him." "Only due to him, I am ashamed." You have realized and explain to other demons too for their good. "But just learn that, Jalandhar will die in Lord Shiv's hands" Take your weapon "Jalandhar, don't plan your total destruction by fighting with..." ...Lord Shiv. There is still time. Lord Shiv is very merciful "lf you ask for forgivance, he will surely forgive you." What sort of guru are you to keep changing sides? "lf you scare me again again, who will listen to you." "Fool, listen to the call of time and the steps of your death." ...which is coming near to you. You'll not get another opportunity Only opportunists run away from the battle-field. I am not one... "... like you. When you see a weakling before you, you fight." "But when you see a stronger one, should you move away." You don't deserve to be Daityaguru any more. But you will lose your life in this war "You are making my anger to rise. If it rises, none of your..." ...meditating strength can save you from me. "Don't worry about my life, and protect yourself. Go away." Om Namah Shivaya Your Shiv's Trishul could not effect me. Your mind is corrupted. This ineffectiveness of Shiv's Trishul is also his Leela. Great scholars have not been able to understand Shiv's Leela. What will a sinner like you understand "ln truth, death is hovering over you and now will come to you." Om Namah Shivaya "Lord Shiv, what is this Leela? Husband is fighting with you..." ...fiercely whereas his wife is praying to you with dedication If that ignorant husband can come and see here he would understand why Shiv's Trishul's returned without killing And also realize that Shiv has not killed him only due to his wife's worship. Vrinda! "Salutations, Guru" I want to bless you to be Saubhagyavati (have a husband... "...always), but can't do that?" "What is the difficulty in giving that blessing, Guruvar." Your husband Jalandhar's mind is corrupted. He is going towards his destruction without thinking about you himself That is why I am praying to Lord Shiv. Vrinda! Jalandhar's sins have increased more than your sacredness devotion. Hence these will all go waste. "No, Guruvar-Jalandhar's wickedness pride have..." ...weakened your prayer devotion. Don't get disappointed and protect your husband's life with care "You are here, Narad-Then, where should I be?" You keep spreading Brahma leela Shiv Leela. "Now when Shiv Leela is at its peak, you should also be there" I am coming from there only to learn from you as to what will be ultimate result of the war between Shiv Jalandhar You have erred like this many times.-What is that? T o talk think like an ignorant though you are a scholar "What did I do like that? -Ask yourself, and not me" "When lion deer or mountain treefight,whowillwin? " "That means, Lord Shiv will only win." Your thoughts and words were without reason. How long can a demon stand before Lord Shiv? This delay is due to Vrinda's devotion. The war is actually taking between Jalandhar's irreligion and Vrinda's sacredness And Jalandhar is getting his strength from Vrinda's devotion "Always one in the path of wrong deeds, only feels he is winning..." ...but has not won till today and will not do so in the future "From the beginning of creation, by the laws of nature, Creator..." ...has written only defeat in the fate of one following irreligion. "Mother, I am satisfied. Father, I have the answer to my question" "Swami! - What happened, Queen? -I saw him wounded." "Has Swami returned from the war? -Nobody has returned, queen" "Queen! Queen! - Lieutenant, what is all this? - Wounds!" Demon army is defeated by Shivgans - Where is Swami? "We do not know.-Why, did'nt you see him fighting with Lord Shiv?" "Y es, but they vanished suddenly while fighting. " Maybe Shiv has finished him with his power "Till I am sacred, nobody can harm my husband in anyway." "Fighting continuously with Lord Shiv, when Jalandhar became..." "...weak tired, it was natural for him to get worried." Shri Hari was also serious and worried by Ma Parvati's queries. Mother Lakshmi asked him the reason of his worry. "Swami, what is your worry? -Devi Parvati has put me..." "...in a religious dilemma? -What is that, Swami?" "Don't ask me, it is better to keep quiet now, you will learn..." "...everything when the time comes, Devi?" Please tell me what is your dilemma? -Don't be stubborn. "l am only requesting you, Swami. -Don't do that also." "lf a wife does'nt know his husband's problem, is that not..." ...a dilemma for her? -I can only tell you that this problem related with Jalandhar and his wife Brinda - Swami! "ls nothing is known about my Swami! -No, queen!" "We searched our soldiers to ask about king, but no one was..." ...found and nothing has been known about our King. "Queen, we have searched everywhere, he was not there..." "...anywhere. - But, did'nt you get any messages also?" "Got a news, but can't be told before you you can't bear to..." "...hear it. -Whatever it is, tell me exactly what news U heard." They were telling that our King has been killed by Lord Shiv. "That is not possible. I am sure, this would'nt have happened." "Queen, one great ascetic who knows about past, present ..." ...future has come in the garden outside the city. He has great powers. He can bring life into a dead body. "He can tell, where in what situation our king is at present." "Take me to him immediately -Y es, let us go" "Pardon my question, heard you are all-knowing and can..." "...bring back life into a dead body-Tell your pain, queen." I want to know about my husband-About Jalandhar.-Y es Can see only inauspicion -That means! "Jalandhar is not alive any more -No, please don't tell that." My devotion is protecting him -I am aware of your devotion "Due to that, there is still brightness in Jalandhar's face" Please send me to my husband -I will bring the dead body of your dead husband here only. " -Swami, what has occurred?" How this has happened? Nothing can happen to U when I am there "Get up, Swami -Vrinda, no need to cry" I will give life to your dead husband. - Swami "Mother, accept my salutations. Why are you sad and alone?" I can't answer all your question as easily as you have asked? That was not my intention. I was only surprised by his absence I am also worried as he vanished suddenly without telling his problem to me. Only told me that it concerns... "... Jalandhar Vrinda - That is why, you are sad, mother." "lt is but natural, Narad - Now I have understood the situation." What have you understood? -This problem not only relates with your brother Vrinda but also Lord Shiv Devi Parvati "How do you relate them in this siutation, Narad?" "The fact is, we are all actors in the Leela of Lord Shiv." We all have to dance according to his wishes. You don't worry. Shri Hari will finish his work soon and come back. By showing Jalandhar's dead body and bringing him back to... "... life, Hari assured Vrinda that Jalandhar is alive." But the consequences of His Leela will only end in Jalandhar's destruction in the hands of Lord Shiv "But Vrinda's mind was not at peace. Seeing that, Shri Hari..." ...told her that - I give you a boon that you will live forever in Tulsi which is a symbol of Devi Lakshmi and will get the position of worship. Fortunate ladies will worship you and will remain Saubhagyavati for always. There is no meaning for me to live any more. I am going now Devi Vrinda attained salvation by chanting Panchakshri Mantra. This was also a part of Shiv Leela. Nobody has understood the secrets of His Leela till today. Jalandhar is also bound in His play and still fighting a war with Him. T o get Parvati is my only goal. Nobody can protect you now. "l will finish you, Mahadev" Jalandhar! Illusionary Jalandhar! Mahabali Jalandhar! Daitya King Jalandhar! Powerful Jalandhar! Daitya Emperor Jalandhar! Rogue Jalandhar! You death bell is ringing. Your pot of sins is full. Your end is near. Hail Lord Shiv Shankar You only created Jalandhar and made him Demon emperor Created difficulties for me and Vrinda. Shri Hari also had to face a dilemma. "What is the use of such a Shiv Leela, swami?" "Shiv Leela is never without reason, mother" "l feel, even Narad Leela is like that." I am only the servant of Lord Shiv and act as per his orders Shiv's Leela is necessary as it is his habit how can he leave it "Narad, in this world, the fight between Truth Untruth and..." ...the law of nature and these Leelas are always there. "The reason for these plays, mortal people realize this..." "...truth that, though Jalandhar was very strong, due to his..." "...pride attrocities, he eyed a woman wrongly and met death." Others can also be destroyed this way so will be careful. "T o warn mortals and keep them secure only, these plays are done" Truth is Shiv Leela is never ending but end in great welfare "The justice, law truth which have come out from his play..." "...has made all including sages, human and even Devatas happy" The world's welfare is always hidden in all Shiv plays. "Once, in South Aryavrat, in Simhadari Hill, there was..." "...severe drought, and lives were lost due to scarcity of water." "Seeing this unbearable condition, Brahmagiri's sage Gautam and..." ...his wife Ahilya started worshipping Varundev severely. "What is this Leela, Lord and what was the necessity for that" There are no trees in sight no signs of water are seen for far People and animals are dying due to water scarcity. Have mercy. "Stop this destructive play on the earth. Have mercy, Lord" Sage Gautam and his wife are praying Varun Dev (God of rain) This earth is blessed with such beings who worry for their pain. Their good deeds will not let this drought to remain for a... "... long time here. Let me go to heaven, where Devraj lndra..." ...must be definitely worried about the sufferings on earth. "See there, the peacocks are dancing in merry." "Y es, swami, how beautiful, today sky journey has given pleasure" "So you are on a happy journey -Y es, this does give pleasure" "Y es, but if there is happiness all around, then pleasure multiplies." There are always difficulties coming in the way of pleasure "Y es, a normal seat has no problem. But a royal seat is..." ...always attacked. But if a ruler indulges in pleasure and desires... "...and becomes unstable, his future becomes unstable, Devi" "Why are you debating this at this time of pleasure, Devarishi?" It is natural for heaven's beings to enjoy leisure pleasure. "Then difficulties, sorrow will also be natural." Remember there is no pleasure in life that does'nt have pain behind Then why do you think that you have got royal rights only to enjoy pleasures. Why do you have this illusion that heaven's throne and comforts are there for you to enjoy only. Comforts with the throne and sorrow with difficulties are... "...always there, Devarishi. -Not always" You get the throne to do your duty and fulfil responsibilities. Comforts are given so that you share them with the pained ones. "Your life is running on the basis of principles, Devraj" If every ruler wants only enjoy the comforts given to him then this makes him weak and becomes the cause for his... "...difficulties also. -Devarishi, do not speak such rude words, now" I am only stating the laws of nature. You yourself think... "...whenever you indulge in too much luxury, you have become..." ...weak and the demons gain strength at that time and have snatched heaven from you many times. "Then you have run for help to Lords Brahma, Vishnu or Mahesh." How long will they help and bring you out of problems. "Untimely pleasure luxury makes a being weak, Devraj" "T o protect yourself and your own people, you've to be successful" And that is possible only when you keep away luxury comforts "You told us so much, but did not tell us what we should do." That also I should only tell. -Now who else except you will show us the right path. -Showing the right path is a guru's work. But seeing the right path is not enough. You have to tread on it. Then only welfare will come to you. "We will definitely tread on the right path given by you, Devrishi" But how? You forgot earth's beings pain and doing skyroaming And indulging in pleasure here telling you will go the right path "Devraj, you have forgotten even this that these high positions..." ...are got by showing mercy on pained beings. "Till you don't help others, you also can't help, Devraj." "You are telling the truth - When has Narad told lies, Devraj" "Even after accepting the truth, why are U not going in that path" You are revered by earth's beings. You use your miraculous powers to remove their difficulties - What is the problem for earth's beings? -You don't know this also. "You call Varundev now, maybe he is aware of this problem." "Appear, Varundev!" "What was the necessity to call me, Devraj?" Are you aware of the difficulties of earth's beings? "Forgive me, I don't know. -How will world's work go on..." "...then, who will call you Varundevata (God of rains)" Mortal people will stop considering you as God by then There is a severe drought in Sanhadri area you don't know. "Though human, Sage Gautam his wife are praying to you..." ...for welfare but you are... -I have understood your indication "Not only understand, I want you to solve the water problem." Go remove their difficulty -Now only I will go to the earth Sage Gautam Devi Ahilya -Varundev has appeared. We are blessed to have seen you -I have appeared on your call "T ell me sage, what is your wish? - I have no wish" I prayed for everybody's welfare. As there were no rains for the... "... last 1 2 years, everything is dried out. Due to scarcity of..." "...food and water, lots of people animalsaredyingbeforetime ." Please tell lndradev to give us rains give us water for ever. Om Namah Shivaya We salute you many times. -By giving us water source for... "...ever, you protected all. We will be ever grateful to you" "For this mercy of yours, human race will praise you always." "Sage, your good thoughts of human welfare brought me here" So the praise of world's welfare goes to you and not me. "Hence, this pond will be famous as Gautamkund in Brahmagiri" This will be the cause of many miracles in the future also Varundev has heard our call and earth is full of greenery now. This is the result of your meditation - Our meditation! "Due to meditation of Sage Gautam his wife, the water..." "...problem has been solved. -Why praise them, swami?" "lf we had done prayers, water would have come to us also" "No, Sage Gautam is a great sage and is very supreme" "lf you keep praising him, you will stay where you are." "l feel ashamed of you and your prayers. If it was effective,..." ...you would have got water pond and not any Sage Gautam. "Y es, now all the praise goes to Sage Gautam Ahilya and they..." "...will become proud, and we will be shy to take water from there" "This is your biased view.-lt is the like that, they will always..." "...be proud that, water has come through their meditative powers" We will all be ashamed of the fact that our husbands could not show such powers- When that is not in our fate what is the use of regretting about our husbands. "Understand the situation, we are nothing before Sage Gautam." That's why we always have to feel ashamed before Ahilya "We have to go to fill water, where proud Ahilya is there." "We'll have to bow our heads, fill water and come quietly" It would have been better if we were animals instead of being their wives-We should'nt taken birth at all like this. "How long you'll curse your fate, let us go to fill water." "Due to mercy of Sage Gautam his wife, we got new life." Our family is secure because of them. Can't forget their help. Our future generations will also remember their help. Hail Sage Gautam Mother Ahilya "What is this? -Devies, wait for some time" "Let these tribals fill water, then you can also take water." "Y es, they have been waiting for a long time, you can fill later." "Y es, it is necessary that they should get the first chance" Sage Gautam his wife are proud that they are the owners of this water pond-They feel this is due to their prayers. "No, we never had any such thoughts." "What is the use, abusing your own mind by imagining like this?" "You heard, she is telling that our minds are corrupted." "When your mind is bad, why are you telling us that?" "Getting the fruits of worship, will make one proud as she..." ...has become the owner of water now-There is nothing like that It is like that and you are also taking your wife's side Where is the question of differences now? Here-Husband will support his wife-We don't need your water Your mind's pollution will come into this water too. This is our insult -We will avenge this insult Why should we stand here and face these people. You didn't do right by arguing with the sages' wives What did I do? I just told them to wait. So much pride and arrogance -We will avenge this insult "lf our husbands were clever, will we face such days. " "You had all gone to fetch water, where are your pots now?" We broke them on their pride and anger-What happened? Sage Gautam Ahilya have become proud due to their pond. Sage Gautam is not at all proud and it is also true that water has come only due to their meditative powers. "Then, are we telling lies. -What do you wish for now?" Revenge - What sort of revenge? -For our insult. But how can we avenge Sage Gautam? Accept our wish and arrange for a Yagna - What Y agna? A yagna by which their pride and powers will break into pieces. And they are compelled to do severe penance. "No, that will not be proper -Was their behaviour right then?" "We can think of something else -No, only revenge." "Think again - Not necessary, you all listen, if you don't help us..." "...in avenging them, we will all leave this hermitage go away" "Y es - We are compelled now, and have to please Yagnadev now." Hail Yagnadev "Sages, tell me why you have called by this Yagna." We want to avenge Sage Gautam for our insults. "You have to avenge, what is my necessity in that?" You please destroy both of them -I should destroy them "Y es, finish them - Surprising, very surprising!" Sages do sacrifices for welfare and growth activities. And gods appear to give them peace and prosperity But here you want to destroy one doing world's welfare and you want me to do that destructive work. "lf sages devatas start doing such destruction, then what..." ...will be left for the demons to do. If all start doing only... "...destructive deeds, then the whole world will become hell." "When you have called me, ask for some boon to give welfare" Bad deeds are done by beings inspite of being stopped. "They have become proud, and to destroy them is for welfare." "That is your thought, not mine. It is not necessary for me..." ...to accept your thoughts. I cannot harm Sage Gautam. You leave your bad thoughts and ask for a good boon. "Yagnadev, when you have appeared on our call, you have..." ...to give us the fruits of our penance.-That's why I have come We want only destruction of Sage Gautam his wife Yagna's result has not been destructive never will be in future. If destruction is hidden behind the sacredness of Yagna earth will start suffering in the hands of death. What to do now? - Yagnadev will not harm Sage Gautam directly. Then let it be indirect -We have to plan something There is one idea. "lf you can't harm Sage Gautam directly, accept our request." You take the form of a diseased cow and go to Sage's hermitage "and sacrifice your life, so that the sin of killing a cow can..." ...be blamed against them and we can compel them to do penance. "Direct or indirect, it is not right for you to harm Sage Gautam..." ...through me. Why don't ask for any boon which will favour you? "When you have appeared, you are bound to give us the fruits." The fruits of our sacrifice should be according to our wishes. "You have to accept our request -Y es, I have to give you benefits" I will go as a dying cow.-Now we will see their bad state Sage Gautam Ahilya will both be blemished. And blemish is like death. "Swami, please come out, a weak cow has somehow come into..." ...our hermitage. We should help and serve it What has happened to it? This cow is not from our area -Then from where? "Has come from some other area, as all the cows in our area..." ...are now healthy. But this cow is diseased and very weak. "This cow has slept. -No, it has sacrified its life" Very bad thing has happened? -What will happen now? "Mother cow, what sin have I committed that you came and..." ...sacrificed your life here. -Cow has sacrified its life "Cow sacrificed its life, or you killed it" Who has killed it? -Who else was here to kill it? "What are you telling, please think before telling anything." How can a sage kill a cow in his hermitage? "lt has been done now, and how it occurred does'nt matter." "No, this is not true.-ls it not true that the cow sacrified..." ...its life here - And that too in your presence. Both of you have killed the cow and have sinned. "Sinners,shame on you Ur life. No sage has done this sin before" We have not done this mistake. -Which sinner accepts his sin "No, you are sinners - You go away from this Brahmagiri." "Y es, you have to go from here -But why?" "As you are killers of cow, and see your faces is also a sin" "lf you remain here, we will have to see your faces." Seeing you will make our life sad-Leave this hermitage soon "Till you are here, other gods and ancestors will not accept..." ...our offerings.-Relieve us from shadow of your sins. Go away. "Without reason, we are blamed for killing a cow." "We don't know, from where this weak cow came here. Before..." "Enough now, no need to talk more - If you don't leave soon..." ...we will call all sages of Samhyadri area and tell them about your sin. -Why do you want to do such disaster? Reason is that you are the killers of a cow "Swami, what difficult has come to us suddenly now?" "When God turns away, such difficulties come. Call of time." You discuss your condition fate after going away from here. When you all have accepted us a killer of cow without listening... "...to our reasons, you also will know of some way to get..." "...out of this sin-Y es, there are rules to get rid of any sin." "Accepting your sin, you have to go round Brahmagiri 3 times." You have to call Ganga here and take bath in her sacred water to purify yourselves. -That will be your penance. We are ready for that -We will make Shivlings out of mud and pray Lord Shiv here. And go round Brahmagiri three times and do our penance. "Not only that, you have to bring Ganga to this Brahmagiri" "Till you don't do that, your penance will not be complete" We will complete our penance. -Lifelong you do penance Om Namah Shivay Sage Gautam and his wife Ahilya! Who can understand Shiv Leela? "T ell me, where have you done your Leela, now?" "Lord, Your Leelas are spread so much that I stand no chance." "Don't know why Brahmadev named you Narad, your name..." ...should be Leelakari or Leeladarshak. What have you seen come? -Very sad scene-What is it? Rishi Gautam his wife Ahilya have been wrongly blamed as killer of cow and are compelled to do severe atonement now. Who has blamed them wrongly? -Sahayadri area's sages and... "...their wives - This is disastrous-lnjustice, mother!" And Lord Shiv is sitting watching this. Whatever looks just or injustice in front of world's mortals are basically created by nature. Sage Gautam Devi Ahilya are creating history in their religious path. As soon as their... "...so called penance is over, they will become immortals in the..." ...religious circle and they will get supreme fame.-But how? "Narad, you always tell others to be patient. You also do that." "ln spite of so much prayers, you have not got the fruits." "How they will get, killing a cow has destroyed all their powers." "lf your penance was complete, Ganga would have come by now." Now you have no right to stay here. "Not answering us, and not listening to us. Go away." Sage Gautam! Sati Ahilya! "Lord Shiv! - Mother Parvati! -With a peaceful mind, you..." ...faced all the adverse conditions and prayed to us. We are very pleased with you. You are great Sage Gautam and Devi Ahilya "By praying Shiv, you have pleased all three of us." Your meditation will serve as a model for other sages. Your prayers have reached all of us and deserve boons from us. Seeing all Tridevs Ma Parvati has fulfilled all our wishes. "After this, what other wish can be left" "But according to the sages, our penance will be completed only..." ...when we take both in Ganga water. We request you to please bring Mother Ganga here so that we can be rid of the sin of killing a cow. -That sin was blamed falsely on you Devi Ahilya. That was the plan of these jealous sages wives. They have brought blemish to the prestige of sages. Punish them. "No Lord Shiv, they don't deserve punishment but our thanks." "lf they had not compelled us to do penance, how we could have..." ...had the fortune of seeing you Tridevs. Please forgive them. "Forgive us, we accept our mistake." "Lord Shiv Mother Parvati, only if we take bath in sacred..." "...water of Ganga, we will become completely sacred pure." "Hence for human welfare, please bring Ganga here." "You are the embodiment of patience, forgivance and world..." "...welfare, sage. One is jealous of one's enemy. " "But the morals of forgivance, goodness that you have shown..." ...world will learn from that. -This is all due to your mercy "Devi Ganga, please appear" Hail mother Ganga "Lord Shiv, what is the order for me?" Respect Sage Gautam and his wife's wishes and have to live in this pond in the name of Gomati "For this, you should spread from Brahmagiri to east..." ...and do welfare for humanity. I can't disobey Tridevs at all and I will do this welfare work. "But for this, you have to give me one assurance - What is it?" You Tridevs along with mother Parvati will stay forever in this.. ...Shivling prayed by Sage Gautam-We will fulfil your wish We Tridevs alongwith Parvati give our Jyoti(light) to this Lingh. This Jyotirling will become famous as Triyambekeshwar and will fulfil wishes of everyone till 28th Kaliyug Whenever Shiv's devotees called him in distress He came in the form of Jyotirlingh Eternal and unconquerable Shiv Shankar When Sage Gautam made lings and started worshipping Shiv then He Mother Parvati came to give him appearance "Listening to sage's prayers, Ganga also came there..." ...and became river Godavari. This Shivling was called Triyambeekeshwar. Whoever prayed here got their wishes fulfilled "Who comes here with dedication, their wishes get fulfilled..." ...and their life becomes filled with Lord Shiv's name "Listenign to Devi Ahilya Sage Gautam's prayers, Lord..." ...Shiv called Mother Ganga who came to respect sage's wishes and went into his water pond and started flowing in the name of Godavari. Blessed are Sage Gautam Ahilya But another Shiv Devotee Satyavrath's story also represents Lord Shiv's mercy. "Swami, today's Pradhosh prayer is very significant." You have to offer many sacrifices today to Lord Shiv "Dear, I am aware I have to give 1 000 offerings as per..." ...our priest. I will not get up before completing the prayers. "King, we have brought prime enemy Ketudwaj as captive." "Wait, swami - Queen, my enemy is in my custody." "Now only, I want to behead him and appease my mind" "lt is not proper to get up from "Pradosh" prayer" You complete your prayer and then do any other work. "No, queen, enemy is in front of me and revenge is in my mind" I can't wait patiently till 1 000 offerings are completed "Till I don't see my enemy's cut head, my anger will not subside." "Lord, my husband left your prayer half-way." Please forgive this great sin of my husband. "Our king will not leave you alive, pray before your death." "Ketudwaj, you are my captive and your death is in my hands" "Forgive me, I accept your supremacy and offer my..." ...kingdom in your feet -You are defeated and your kingdom has already come under me. "Everything is under you, but please forgive me, king." "lf I forgive you, how will my mind be appeased." Forgivance gives great peace to the mind "No, till I behead you, my mind will not be appeased." No! "Chief Minister, my prime enemy is finished-True, King" "Queen, today is the happiest day of our life. I have cut the..." ...head of my lifelong enemy with these hands of mine. "T oday, you are very happy. -My enemy had not allowed..." ...me to sleep at all. The thorn of my life has gone and today I will be able to sleep peacefully. Sleep was not in King Satyavrath's fate as he insulted Lord Shiv by leaving his prayer in between. The queen had also supported him in this sin of her husband. Time passed. Queen became pregnant and in her last stage... "...of pregnancy told the king, her wish to go to the forest." But she was not aware that insult of Lord Shiv will come as their death on the way. "Satyarath, where is happiness in the life of you your queen." "Kethudwaj's this son Vishdwaj, will destroy your whole race" "You killed my father, and his son will give you death penalty." "The pain you gave me, will be returned to you as my revenge" Vidarbha king Satyavrat is going with his wife in this path. "Come Satyavrat, your misfortune and my fortune are crossing." "Swami, Vidarbha's prince is going to be born very soon." Start preparations for welcoming him "That is done, queen. I will celebrate his birth more..." ...grandly than the death of my enemy. Get down Satyavrath. I will behead you and avenge my father's death then only his soul will rest in peace. I need my revenge. Forgive me Vrishdwaj "Forgive me, king" Forgive me Vishdwaj "Not forgivance, but revenge" Where is Surtha? "My enemy's is inside you, I will kill both of you together." "Protect me, Lord and protect my son from our enemy." "l have come at your feet, Lord." "For which misfortune are you crying, son. Mine or yours" The one who should have been happy seeing you is no more My misfortune was to become a widow and you became an orphan Now Lord Shiv will only protect you. I am leaving you at his feet. Please save me "You saw, swami. You can't see but your soul can see." We have lost everything. I had warned you not to leave Shiv's worship in the middle But you did'nt accept. Then how will Lord accept your prayers has shown his effect Enemy has taken away your life Now when you are not alive... "...what will I do by living. I will also die, swami." A new born child crying in Shiv's temple. "What is this Leela of yours, everyone comes to your..." ...temple for relief. But now a new born is crying for mercy. "Lord Shiv, I can't bear the cry of this new born baby." Accept Narad's salutations. "There is no joy but pain in your voice, Narad" "l am pained from the heart, hence the voice also sounds so" "What is the reason? - What is not known to you, Lord Shiv" King Satyavrath is killed and his queen has also died. The cry of their baby in Shiv temple is unbearable. "When you know all this, king broke his promise and its result.." "True Lord, but what is the mistake of that new born in this" He is crying at your feet- lnnocent refugee won't be punished. He will be definitely protected. Whose child is crying in the temple? Who has left him? What a heartless mother who has left her child in this isolated place. Can a mother be like this? "Son, why are your crying? Your mother will come just now" Whose son is this? Where are you leaving your dear son? Speak up. Who is the mother of this child? I got this boy here. I don't know who he is or his mother. "You seem to belong here, tell me about this boy." "Devi, Now, you are only his mother - Me his mother." I don't know who he is. -He is the son of late king Satyavrath who left Shiv's Pradosh worship in the middle And hence had to face death. But this boy will prove to be your good fortune Now give him motherly love and bring him up along with your son I was searching for a long time for a holy man like you. I have'nt named my son yet and call him Lalla only. "Please name him, Maharaj" Creator seems to have sent me here to name both your sons "Name them, Maharaj - Your elder son's name will be Suchivrat" Suchivrat-And the one on your lap will be Dharmakunt You won't have any difficulty in bringing up these two sons "By your mercy help, my great work is done, Maharaj" May all welfare come to you. Did you see any pregnant lady running from here. "l did'nt see anyone, King" "Where had you gone, swami?" "T o Uma - But I am Uma, you have come to me only now." That widow's name is also Uma. She is bringing up the two boys.. "...with great love. You should help her, Parvati." "Mother will surely help, but what is the their future, Lord" Sometimes you talk in such a way that I feel you are mad. "What is my mistake, Lord? -lgnorance can cause mistakes." Now only you said Mother Parvati will help in the... "...upbringing of those boys, then immediately you ask their future." "When Parvati is going to help them, how will their future be?" "Lord, I have been caught in my own web of words." "Always you trouble others, Narad. You just understand that..." ...those two boys will always get the mercy of both of us. They will cross all hurdles and come up in life. Their mother will also attain fame get peace due to them. "This is enough, Lord. Both of you are venerable" "Come Suchivar, come" Long live! "Bless my son, Sage" This is not your son.-But I have only brought him up. I know and also that Shiv's mercy is there on Satyavrt's son "That is why, Shiv came in the form of Trishwar to protect him" And has handed over the work of bringing him up to you "By giving His appearance, he has blessed the three of you." "Sage, you know the past, present future. T ellthisboy 'sfuture." Not just tell but you have to make his future. Where do I have the ability to make the future of this son? "l just now told you, Lord Shiv himself came as a sage and..." ...gave you the responsibility of bringing up this boy. "As Trishwar, he has also given you the ability to bring you up." What should I do now? -Make the future of this boy who has Lord Shiv's mercy to become glorious - How? "His son, his father left Shiv Pradosh prayer in the middle..." ...and got into difficulties and this boy is orphaned "Since he had Lord Shiv's mercy, he has been brought up." But he is still deprived of his kingdom and its comforts. T ell me the way by which he can get his kingdom back. Learn the way Shiv Pradosh prayer should be done and... This boy has to atone for his father's sin. "King, you were tired searching for your enemy's son. I got him." Where is he? - One brahmin lady Uma is bringing him up along with his son. Both of them are going to do Shiv Pradosh worship as per the advice of Sage Shandilya. Dharmagupt will come for the last time to Shiv temple today He will also die in my hands like his father. "Along with enemy's son, his death will come to Shiv's temple" Who is my enemy's son amongst them? How to recognize him. "What is this dilemma? T o solve this, I will kill both of them." "Praying Lord Shiv has resulted in your good, sons." That enemy had brought two knives to kill both of you. "Only due to Lord Shiv, you have been protected today." Lord Shiv always protects his devotees who fall at his feet. "Y es, we two brothers will worship Him throughout our life" God bless you "Sons, today you have delayed a lot. I am waiting for a long time" "Salutations, mother -God bless you" "Do you remember Sage Shandilya's words, Dharamgupt" My father left Shiv's prayer in the middle and invited Lord Shiv's anger to fall his family. T o appease the soul of... "...my parents and to get back the kingdom, I have to do..." ...Shiv Pradosh worship according to rules and complete it. Have you learnt how to do the Shiv Pradhosh worship. "Y es mother, to get rid of Lord Shiv's anger on our family..." "...we take oath that, lifelong we will do Shiv Pradoshan..." ...prayer traditionally. -We will fulfil this duty of... "... Shiv worship throughout our life, mother." "Brother, Mother has brought up both of us by taking aims." "Y es, she has suffered a lot for us - And is continuing to do so" For how long will she work for us. Now we are youths. "lf she still works, it is a matter of shame for both of us" You have told my mind's words. That is why I brought you to this forest here. -But why? "After you left in the evening yesterday, one sage came to..." "... Shiv's temple, and told that our fate is going to open up..." "...tomorrow-That means, today here our good fortune is coming." "But how? -He said, there is a old banyan tree near a pond..." "...in this forest. At that place, after 5 hours of the day are..." "...over, some miracle is going to happen for both of us." "Brother, you have believed that sage." "l had to. Now I believe more, as he said that my brother will..." ...not believe in me and laugh at me. But truth is very strong "See, one miracle has happened. Now you go here, I will go..." ...and see the miracle of the tree. What beautiful flowers are there? What a beauty and what fragrance? "Friend, we can see the beauty and can't feel the fragrance" "T ake this, and smell it and see-You were talking about this" What else was there to discuss? -Turn around and see properly You will find many things beside you-Not many but everything Where are you gong? I am the daughter of Gandharva king Princess Anshumati - You want to tell your heritage to me How does it matter to me whatever you are? Have you come from a mountaineous region? - No "Why are you speaking so rudely, then?" I don't want to argue with you Devi Anshumali. "Not Anshumali, Anshumati -Does she look a mali(gardener)" I told you that I don't want to argue with you - But we want to "How can you call her Anshumali when she is Anshumati, answer!" Am I under you that I should answer you. I am going "Listen a little, I have come here as per my father's order" "When did I ask you, as to by whose orders you've come here." You hear little but talk too much -Me and talking more. Why are attributing your characters to me? -Listen now One great sage gave an appearance to my father... "...yesterday and told him that today here at this time, one..." ...handsome young man will come in yellow clothing and he... "And he, he... what is that? -My friend means him only!" Again he! Listen Anshumati means to say he is only he! What are you doing! -This will tell you everything Got the old banyan tree. Let me see the sage's miracle now. Got the pot of gold coins. The sage told us the truth. Our sage had told me that you belong to a royal family. "With his blessings, I am bound by oath to conduct the marriage.." ...of my daughter Anshumati with you. "Before taking such an important decision,U should know about me" "You are of royal family, talented alsomodest. Is 'ntthisenough" I just belong to a royal family. My parents died after my birth "l look talented to you, but I feel I am an unfortunate one..." - It'll look great on you! It's a real guy-puller. Do you know how many times I've been fucked in this dress? Every time I go out: Whoa, someone's there. - Champagne? - I just need to get organised, OK? Whatever. I'm going out. What about the washing up? This is not a hotel. Careful you don't start sounding like my mother. I could have tried harder to find Johan. But hey, he was the one who knew where I lived. (light classical music) Obviously, this was just another adventure of his, and I wasn't crying over him again. If it could be a bit more... Good, hard, honest work can take your mind off anything. I'd designed the costumes for a small play that was a huge success. One night, this French guy was visiting the theatre. ...at the end of Act II I fell down the stairs. Everyone was laughing. - This is Pierre Gaultier. - The top name at the Palais Royale. This is Miss Olsen, who plays the captain's first wife. - How lovely. - It's an honour to meet you. - And who is this lovely creature? - This is Anna, our costume designer. - Enchanté. - Nice to meet you, too. Mr. Gaultier is artistic director at the Palais Royale. - In Paris? - Oui, my flower. Your work is magnifique. I want you to make costumes for our next play. - Me, in Paris? - Can you make big birds? I want feathers and wings and beaks. That depends. Making flashy costumes just for show doesn't really challenge me. A costume should be an extension of the character and show the audience who the character is inside. That's what inspires me. Perhaps if you told more about the play? Take my card. I will meet you tomorrow to discuss the details. I'll call you then. Of course, the next day we had excellent reviews, and I could find sponsors all over France. (cheerful waltz) Pierre's offer wasn't only a career move, but an opportunity to do what was best for me. A chance to get away from loud girlfriends and old lovers, who popped up when they felt like it. Why wouldn't I say yes? - So, do you want the job? - Yeah, please. I love birds. (west coast rock) She's a bird with fancy feathers walking through the room local lady of design who makes all your costumes she will write you on a ticket take you for a ride wake up in the morning will she be there by your side? We're going all the way, all the way all the way birds of a feather flock together you and me, I say some say she's connected and Bowie's in the car she's got a set of white long legs you know that gets you far there's money in the picture a picture you can't see birds of a feather flock together you and me all the way, let's go all the way, let's go all the way, let's go all the way birds of a feather flock together you and me, I say birds of a feather flock together you and me, I say let's go all the way let's go all the way - Oh, Albert. Do you want to suck? - I am. - Oh, please. - "Oh, please." My very serious and very busy friend doesn't want to be disturbed. Maybe she can join us? She's working. Oh Albert, come on! (disco music) Do you want to take them off? You've got the best buttocks. Lick me. I want you to suck me and lick me. Do I look sexy? Do I look sexy now? I'm gonna to be two minutes. You're gonna fuck me? - Do you promise? - Absolutely. - You won't be asleep? - No. Just a sec. Are there any condoms? (Camilla laughs) (disco music picks up) Albert, help me. Help me! Albert, I want the Tower of Pisa. Albert, I want it big. I want it big. Too much noise. Albert, for the first time you're... I wanna be fucked. (Camilla giggles) It's a log. Oh, God. Oh Albert, I love you. Do it this way. Oh yeah... Oh Albert! (wistful cello music) That'll be nice. You can pick me up at the airport Charles de Gaulle... Anna! I met this guy... I look forward to work with you, too. No, I talked with them yesterday. Thank you. OK, goodbye. Au revoir. - I met this handsome guy at the gym. - So Albert is history now? No. But he needs a place to stay, so I said my flatmate was going away. That's fine by me, as long as you take care of it all. Thank you, God! This guy will make your mouth water! Tell Mr Mouthwatering that he can rent my room while I'm away. He can pick up the keys on Saturday. I love you! If I'd known the true identity of this Mr Mouthwatering - - I'd never have said yes. - I know a trick. - What's keeping him? - What if he can't find it? - Relax. He's smart and he's gorgeous. And you can count on him. Have a wonderful trip. Enjoy the spring, and not least the Parisian gentlemen. OK, I'll try. Ace! (doorbell rings) It's open! - I'm just about to leave for Paris. - I know. Camilla told me. - I'm here for the keys. - Keys? Of course. I'm really confused. - I'd better show you around. - Yeah. Didn't get much of a tour the last time. That's Camilla's shelf, that's yours. You can make up a different system if you want, you and... Camilla. Jesus, Johan! What are you doing here? You never called. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I lost your number. I tried to find it, but... I don't know what annoyed me most. Him appearing from nowhere. Again. Or him sharing my flat with Camilla. (traffic noises from outside) (heavy breathing) No! I can't do this. You disappear for five years and now you want to move into my flat? - Yes... - No. No. (light, melancholic music) You can't work on something, look forward to something, invest all your energy in something like I did, then put it on hold because an old lover blames you for never calling. On the other hand, this was the perfect test. If Mr Mouthwatering could live in my flat for three months without giving in to Miss Man-eater, then maybe I could trust him again. But his odds were low. (artsy guitar music) Ah, Anna! Welcome to Paris. And welcome to my theatre. Did you have a pleasant flight? Paris was just what I needed. A new beginning, a change of scene. I made friends with one of the actresses: Sophie. Sophie was strong, self-assured and single by choice. Exactly the person I needed to be around. (accordion waltz) (music becomes melancholic) Did I miss life back in Copenhagen? Why would I? Can you please take off your sweater? Thanks. And raise your arm. (knocking on the door) You have to do me now. The director needs me all day. - I have to finish here first. - It's OK. I can come back later. - Selfish bastard! - Cunt! - Your costumes are just magnifique. - Thank you. You can come a long way in France, with the right support. I feel I see who you are and what you need, you know? - I'm not quite sure I do. - I could make you very successful. - A very happy woman. - Thanks, but I'm doing fine. I think you should start trusting your feelings. Like we do in Paris. What feelings? You don't know who I am! You cunt! You loser... Merde! (wistful guitar music) (busy signal) (wistful guitar music) (Camilla singing badly) I thought we'd talked about you using my bathrobe. - I'd prefer it if you didn't. - If you insist. (light pop music) Sit down! - You can keep it on for now. - Sit down, please. Sit down. Champagne? - Whoa, baby! - What are we celebrating? We're celebrating that we've been living together for a month. Almost. OK... To being flatmates for a month. - Almost. - Sit down, please. So, what are we having, then? - Having? - Dinner? In the oven! Did you like what you just saw? Yes. You're a very attractive woman. But I think we should just keep it as flatmates. Having a good time doesn't have to change anything. You have needs, and I have needs. What would be more sensible than to try and fulfil those needs in the comfort of our own home? - I don't think this is gonna work. - Sit down! Turn off your brain and relax. Camilla, I don't... Just relax. - Camilla... - Shhh! (music gets more aggressive) (music stops abruptly) Sorry! Sorry. I guess it's time for a shower. (telephone rings) - Hi, Camilla, it's me. - Anna! - You sound so close. Are you back? - No, I'm way too busy here. Yeah, doing great. - I just wanted to check. - Don't worry about us. We're fine. Everything is fine. - What's up? You sound strange. - I can't talk now. He's here. - Johan? In your room? - No. Oh, good. So who's there? Are you still fooling around with Albert? No. - A new lover? - No. And my other tenant? Is he seeing someone too? I bet you're building a little love nest. I mean, separately. No, I don't think he's seeing anyone at the moment. I just really miss that bastard. - Johan? - No, for Christ's sake! Albert. (Camilla starts crying) Oh, sweetie! Why don't you sort things out with him? - Because I think it's too late. - It's never too late. If you like him so much, why don't you commit yourself? You know, it's probably just some sort of misunderstanding. Oh Camilla, now you got me going too. (light waltz, both girls laugh and cry at the same time) Hey... silly me. I can be such a wise-ass. Didn't I realise I was talking about myself? Apparently not. I needed one more push. And that push came from an unexpected place. (knocking on door) May I come in? Are you all right? - Entrez. I'm almost done. - Sure? We used to be lovers. Can you believe that? You and Pierre? Yes, I know. I thought he was the love of my life. Are we talking about the same person? - Yeah. Unfortunately. - What happened? - L'amour rend aveugle. - What? It means that when you're in love, you're blind. Ow! - Do you like life here, Anna? - Yes, Paris is a big break for me. That's not what I asked. Show me your finger. (sensual piano and flute music with female choir) Don't be afraid. (music starts building up) (music stops, Anna breathing heavily) Just when I think it's over between us, he's back in my face. And I can't say no. I've got to stay out of that crap. It's gotta be fun, for Christ's sake. Right? It's gotta be fun, right? It's gotta be fun, right? Fun's OK. - Maybe fun's not enough anymore. - You're a romantic! So that's why! I've met romantics before. She's got to be special. - She is. - So there is someone. I knew it. Who is she? - You know her. - I know her? Oh, my God! It's Anna. Did all that happen when you came to get the keys? No. We go back a long time. I fucked it up. And? It's getting too complicated. I've decided to move out. Don't worry, I'll cover you for the rent. But that's unfair. I didn't know about you and Anna. - You're not to blame. - Can I stay here tonight? I can't sleep if I have to be alone. No hanky-panky. Scout's honour! I have to go, Sophie. Sophie's sweet caress showed me I had to break the vicious circle. If not, - - Johan and I would end up like Pierre and Sophie. Lonely, bitter, spitting harsh words at each other. I understand. Forever seeking comfort in strangers. (cheerful pop music) (bluesy rock guitar) So much for wanting to break the vicious circle. If Camilla was a trap, he'd walked right into it. Told you his odds were low. I was never, ever going to expose myself like this again. (nightmare music) (Anna sobbing) Are you OK? Come on. It's OK. I was too drunk to worry about it. But really. What were the odds I'd be scooped up by that other removal guy? I couldn't take a step without being reminded of Johan. - So, what's up? - Yeah, what's up? Well, let me think. Just screw the brain out of me. So, you really moved my stuff? (cell phone rings) Yeah, two hours or something. I just need to move this piano. See you, honey. Yeah? Yes... Yeah, OK. - What are you doing? - Hey, OK... - You're sick. Sick! - Hey, sorry, OK? (slow jazz) I know this is awkward, but I'm just back from Paris and I... I just thought... Can I come in? No, this is a bad idea. I really feel bad. You were so good to me, and I just didn't... I know I've completely screwed up, but if you'll forgive me... Anna, please don't! I don't blame you for not daring. I probably wasn't right for you. Daring? What are you talking about? If a guy showers you with eternal love, suddenly you're suffocating. If he doesn't, it's what you want, isn't it? You're so scared of losing, you never invest yourself in anything. Well, except your damn work, of course. I just wanted to... Anna, please. Just tell him what he means to you, or you'll spend the rest of your life thinking love hurts. - But... how do you know? - Good night, Anna. And good luck. What if Camilla and Johan had already planned their future? What if she'd love to have babies and he said he'd never leave her? In my flat! Frank was right. I had to conquer my fear of defeat. I had to risk the pain. I had to go back into that flat. (footsteps on stairs, heavy breathing from bedroom) Johan? - Johan, I have to talk to you. - You see any fucking Johan in here? Anna! Christ! What happened? Oh, my God, Anna... (air rock music) Had I just blown all chances of ever seeing him again? Apparently, Johan had left the flat to go to some boat. Of course! The boat! His ticket to adventure. (classic rock music builds up) (air rock music) We decided to put the last five years behind us. From now on it was going to be all about us. (light jazz) (sensual saxophone music) (pop tune) She gets what she wants almost every time boys flock around her and form a hungry line she tried a few out but it really didn't work Frank was a nice guy but the rest of them were jerks is it all about you or all about me or all about a girl named Anna is it all about you or all about me or all about a girl named Anna she moved away to Paris where her life was a dream she met a lot of people and all of them were keen when something isn't right even fools know it's wrong she was hopelessly in love with Johan is it all about you or all about me or all about a girl named Anna is it all about you or all about me or all about a girl named Anna she pulled herself together and split without goodbye the others could forget her she was hooked on just one guy if you want a happy ending one is on the way listen to your heart and what it has to say is it all about you or all about me or all about a girl named Anna is it all about you or all about me or all about a girl named Anna. Bull's-eye. - It's dead as a doornail around here. - Yeah. How about seeing a picture, Rocky? There's one at the Academy on 14th. - Yeah, what? - Covered Wagon. It's new, just come out. - You got any dough? - No. You got any? No. Oh, look. There's Rocky Sullivan. Walk right by him like we don't see him. Hey, Rocky, there's Laury Martin coming. So what? Oh, my books, they're coming loose. Say, that ain't a bad-looking doll, that one in the middle. - The one with the pretzel legs. - He means you, Laury. - Why, the fresh... - Don't be so smart-alecky, Rocky Sullivan. - Go on. Beat it, pigtails. - Trying to show off, ain't you? - Scram, before I wipe the street with you. - You better wipe your nose first. - Is that so? I'll fix you. - You better scram. You know the Rocky. - Come on. - Leave me alone, I can handle him. Wait till I get down there. I'll fix you. - I'll slap you down. - Oh! Why, you, you... Shut up. Come on. Let's get out of here, dig up some corn. You won't get away with that, Rocky. I'll get even someday. You just wait. Say, maybe this winter we can hop a freight to Florida. They say you can go swimming there, even in January. Sure, we can even hop one to California if we wanted to. Look here, "Rubelin Coal Company, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania." It's too bad it ain't winter. We could grab a couple bags of those coals. "Everwrite Fountain Pen Company." I wonder what's in there. Come on. Let's take a look. It's loaded full of cases. Fountain pens. Hundreds of them. - We can break that easy. - We shouldn't, we don't need those pens. - It ain't like stealing coal to keep warm. - We can sell them. Now, listen. What we don't take, we ain't got. Look around. See what you can find to break that lock. All right, whoever's in here, come on out. Come on out, I say! - What's the trouble? - Just a couple of kids. I heard them. Come on out of there. Come on, you hoodlums. You won't get away. - Come out, or I'll come in after you. - Let's make a break for it, Jerry, now. Come on, Rocky! Jump! Hi, Snowflakes. - Hi, Jerry. - Hello. What do you hear? What do you say? Sit down. - How they treating you, Rocky? - Like a prince. I get three square meals and real butter on my bread. What a life. - Is that a bad cut on your eye? - Not bad. Just a few stitches. I thought you knocked your eye out. You coming to my trial tomorrow? Rocky, I've been worrying about this all last night. - I can't let you take the whole blame. - Pipe down, want the flapper to hear? Now get this. You got away, didn't you? Okay. I wanna be a sucker. But, Rocky, maybe if they thought I was in on it, they'd go easier on you. In a pig's eye. Just because you can run faster, you don't gotta eat yourself. - But it ain't fair to you, Rocky. - Look, so they send me up. So what? What've I got to lose? The old man's got troubles enough without me. Forget it. I got caught, and you got away. But you, Rocky. Supposing I was the one who got caught, you wouldn't keep quiet. - You'd make them send you up too. - What do you think I am? - I'd lay dead just like you're gonna do. - You would? Sure. Always remember, don't be a sucker. I'm pulling every string I can. I'm seeing the right people. - I can get you off with about three years. - You talk like I can do it in a handstand. That ain't no picnic. You'll be outside having it soft on cushions. It's tough. I'm not gonna mark time. I'll scout around, make connections. - Not only for me, for both of us. - Why should I take the fall? There's no other way out. Be sensible. If they get me, I'll be disbarred. They'll check my vault box and grab the 100 grand. You don't want to lose that dough, do you? All right, Frazier. It's my rap, and I'll take it but it's my 100 grand, and I'll take that, too, the day I get out. Look... I know you're a smart lawyer, very smart but don't get smart with me. Very good, boys. That's all. Wait till I get you outside, mug-face. I'll immobilize you. Yeah? You and your old maid! Come in. What's on your mind, son? Not very much, Father. It's just been bothering me for 15 years. What did you do with those fountain pens you stole? - Rocky! You old... - Jerry, glad to see you. - What do you hear? What do you say? - I'm glad to see you. Good to see you. Fifteen years. Hasn't changed a bit. - You remember Father Boyle's old sacristy. - Remember it? He used to stand right where you are and boil the tar out of me. Gosh, 15 years. It doesn't seem possible I haven't seen you in that length of time. - I've seen you. - You have? Where? I was there when you made the 90-yard run against NYU. - Why didn't you come back and see me? - Some people were waiting for me. - Oh. Well, I got a kick coming, though. - You have? What? - Why haven't you written to me? - You know how it is, Jerry. I changed my address and number so often, you had no way to answer me. You know what happens to letters written in the stir. Everybody reads them. When I was inside, nothing happened. When I was out it was all there to read on the front page. Yes, I read all the papers. - You certainly make a good-looking priest. - Thanks. Your mother always wanted you to do it, but what finally decided you? Well, I was riding along on the top of a bus looking down, passing the cathedral. - That gave you the idea, huh? That's funny, I got an idea on the top of a bus once. Got me six years. I was around while you were singing with the kids and I kept thinking of you and me 20 years ago. - With Father Boyle. - Yeah. Remember slipping "Merry Oldsmobile" into the hymnbook? - How could I forget it? - How'd it go? Lead, kindly light Amid the encircling gloom Lead thou me on, for the night is dark And I am far from... - Did a lot of crazy things in those days. - Certainly did. Certainly did. Come in. Father, you're supposed to be down at the store. The fellas are waiting for you. You run and tell them I'll be right over. Tell them to get the game started. - Okay, Father! - All right. What's this store racket? Got the kids shilling for the parish? That's not a bad idea, Rocky. No. It's a pet scheme of mine. - A recreation spot for the kids. - Kind of a kindergarten place, huh? No, it's for the big fellas too. You'd be surprised how tremendously it's helped to keep the kids from becoming... Hoodlums like me? - You've cost me a lot of prayer. - I've been in kind of a retreat myself. - Yes. Will you be here for some time? - Depends. I got a little business to attend. - I gotta find a place to live. - Get a room here in the parish. - Not a bad idea. No place like home. - Yes, and it's great to have you home. - I came back to take a look at your kisser. - Stick around and take a lot of them. This is Maggione's. Go in and get a furnished room. Remember her, don't you? Took a lot of good lead pipe out of that cellar. Church is just around the corner. I can drop in to see you from time to time. - See you at Mass Sunday? - Sure. I'll help you with your collection. - It's a deal. - Fair enough. - Mrs. Maggione at home? - What do you want? Looking for a room. My mother ain't here, but the lady in number two will show you the rooms. Yes? Yes? I'm looking for a room. Mrs. Maggione's kid told me you'd take care of that. Yes. I'll get the key. Third floor. There's something about your face that looks awfully familiar. - You've been looking at the funny papers. - No, really. Listen, sister, all I'm looking for is a room. Here it is. Mrs. Maggione will give it a good cleaning. - It's all right. I've seen worse. - I guess you have. - I'll take the room. What's the tariff? - Five dollars a week. - Sold. - In advance. All right. Write me a receipt. You can trust me. How did you happen to come to this house? Looking for references, huh? An old friend of mine sent me over here. Jerry Connolly, the priest from the parish. - You know him? - Father Jerry? Yeah. Does that send me in? Oh, I get it now. You're Rocky Sullivan. - Yeah. - Remember me? - No. - Laury Martin? Laury Martin? That little fresh kid with the pigtails? Well, hello. What do you hear? What do you say? Hello. - Hey! Wait a minute! - I've waited 15 years to do that! I wanna see Jim Frazier. - I wanna see Frazier. - He's busy. - I'll wait. - Who are you? - Rocky Sullivan. - Oh. Come on. Number one. Clear the board. Wait here. - There's somebody to see you. - Yeah? Who? Rocky Sullivan. - Rocky Sullivan? - Yeah. - Does he know I'm here? - Sure. Didn't you want me to tell him? That's all right. Send him in. Well, well, Rocky! This is a surprise. - What do you hear? What do you say? - I had the date on the calendar. I thought it was next month. Otherwise I would've met you with a brass band. I thought it was funny you didn't show, but you've been busy the last three years. You got a swell layout here. Looks like you're in the dough. - Yes, only... Well, you know Mac Keefer. - Mac Keefer? Yeah, heard of him. - He owns the town. Can buy and sell it. - Only he doesn't buy it. He sells it. - That's soft, eh? - Softer than that store cot I've been sleeping on for the last three years. - Well, you're out now, Rocky. - Yeah. - Where's that dough? - What? The hundred grand? I had it for you, only as I said, I didn't expect... - I know. You said it before. - You don't have to worry about it. - I'm not worried. - I'll have it by the end of the week. In the meantime, I suppose you'd like some spending money. Here, here's 500. I'll take that. It'll take me a few days to get settled. By that time, you can get that dough together and tell me where I come in. Where you come in? What do you mean? What business you want me to handle, what parts of town and what my cut is. - Your cut? - Yeah. That was the idea, wasn't it? I took the rap, three years. You took the dough, made connections, built it up. For you and me. Wasn't that it? Oh, I see. Yes. I understand but you've got this thing all wrong. See, I work for Keefer. He's the boss. I haven't anything to say. If you want a spot in his business, why you'll have to take it up with him. Now, look, Frazier, I'm not taking it up with anybody but you. You figure it out for yourself. I'm taking up with you where I left off. That was the agreement, and we're going to stick to it. Got it? - Well, yes, but... - But what? Well... - Hello, Mac. - Am I breaking in on anything here, Jim? No, not at all. Come right in. I want you to meet Rocky Sullivan. Pleased to meet you, Sullivan. I know all about you. You're okay. - When did you get out? - Couple days ago. - What are you doing? - Looking around. - Maybe I might have a spot for you. - We were just talking about that. - Where you stopping? - A room at my old neighborhood on Dock Street, number 24. Well, I'll blow now. I'll drop up, say, Monday? - Monday? That'll be fine. - I'm going downtown. I'll give you a lift. - Thanks. - See you later, Jim. Monday. Get me Steve. There's a fella leaving with Mac. I want you to... Yeah? Yeah, I got a good look. Yeah, yeah. I got it. Sure, I'll take care of him. Out of the way, blubberhead. The famine is on. Guys, want some cigarettes? All you guys can have cigarettes off me. You better pack them now, boys. Here comes the beef trust. How do you do? - A nickel you don't conk him. - All right, a nickel I do. - You missed him, chump. - Yeah. A nickel apiece you owe. That cop don't walk right or something. - Those cops are so dumb, it's pathetic. - You'd think they'd learn where a tomato comes from in police college. Look. Hello, toots. You want the bottle? You want the bottle? Oh, nuts. Hey! What are you doing with my baby? "Hey! What are you doing with my baby?" Here's your baby! - You loafer! I'll get the cops after you! - Yeah, yeah, yeah. The way he talks, you'd think he had something there. Excuse me. Hey. Look at the dude. - Come on. Let's give him the works. - All right, kiddo. - Hey, watch out! - Give me that! I'll make you eat that ball in a minute! All right, come on! Let's go! Like taking candy from a baby. How'd you get it, Crab? I hoisted it over the transom in the alley and dropped it. - The corner caught me right in the dome. - So long as it didn't break the machine. Boy, we'll be in the money now. Six nickels and two slugs. Imagine crooks like that? Putting slugs in a slot machine. - Chiselers. - I'm gonna break this thing... Pipe down. - It's only Soapy and the gang. - That's good. Hi, Soapy! - Soapy, look what we got. - You should see the hook I got. It's the most I got in my life. - We got a sucker's poke. - No kidding! - Come on. Dish it out. Time's a-wasting. - What's the matter, crabbing already? - Give me air! Give me air! - How much you got there, Soapy? - Let me see. Ten, 20, 30, 35... - Gee! There must be more than 100 there! - A hundred nothing. We're in the big chips. - Wow, what a haul! "Wow, what a haul!" - Six ways! Don't forget, six ways! - You'll get yours. - What, are you grabbing already? - Come on. Come on. Give me, Soapy. - Oh, that looks nice. - Oh, my! We split half, all right? - Hey, I didn't get mine! - You bunch of chiselers! Stick them up! You're all covered. Give us a break, mister. We wasn't there. We had nothing to do with it. - Say your prayers, mugs. - On the level, mister! Shut up, rats! Stop your squealing. - Who's the leader? - I am. Come here. Collect that dough, and fast. Come on. Hand it over. You too. Come on. Here. Now get them up and turn around. - Hey! - Hey! What's the matter? Next time you roll a guy for his poke, make sure he don't know your hideout. How did you know? Come here, suckers. - How do you know this place so good? - Yeah, how do you know? Let me show you. Here. Look at this. - "R.S."? - Hey, you ain't Rocky Sullivan! Rocky Sullivan! Hey, did you get that? It's Rocky Sullivan! We tried to hook you! What a boner! When you saw us duck down the alley you knew we was headed to the hideout. - I took the old shortcut. - What do they call you? - Soapy's the name. He's Bim. This mug here's Swing. This palooka up here's Hunky. - Hi, Rocky. What's left of her remains have been in here over a week. You might wanna use the vapo rub. Let's hope the rest of her is in there. Resting in pieces. Someone at the Brooklyn M.E.'s office sandbagged us. Yeah, I'll bet his name is Mark Mogan. Look, man, I just process them and ship them. Does that process include leaving your semen in Manette Combs' severed throat? - No, that's insane. - So is raping the dead. You know abusing a corpse is a crime, Mark? I never abused anybody. Three dozen unclaimed bodies you processed and shipped are being exhumed right now. - Why? - To see what's in the caskets. What's it gonna be? Some more violated corpses or just more beanie bodies. Listen, it's not what you're thinking. Oh, you have no idea what I'm thinking. I was performing a public service. Yeah, even the dead need a little loving. I only took junkies and bums. They didn't contribute anything to the world while they were living, so I helped them contribute a little after they died. - By chopping them up? - I didn't chop them up. - I donated them to science. - Donating my ass! How much did you get? Two grand a body. - But the benefit of medical research... - Who'd you hawk them to? Who'd you hawk them to? A guy named Russ Bianco. I call a number, and he meets me. You Bianco? Yeah, where's Mogan? Ah, he couldn't make it. He knew I needed the cash. Name's Elliot. I work in the morgue with him. You got a city ID? Fresh off the slab. - Uh, he's not an addict. - No. That guy's in better shape than the stiffs Mark usually sends me. Brain hemorrhage. Tox screen clean. So... Nice gig Mark's got going here. How's your supply? Always looking for more. Why? One of my cousins works in the Manhattan morgue. Make sure he's discreet. You see something you think I'll like, give me a call./ All right. You wanna give me a hand with this guy? / Sure. Bet he's got plenty of hands and other pieces stashed somewhere. Maybe he's dipping them in wax, - passing them off as sculpture. - What? A classic Vincent Price movie. You gotta see it. "House of Wax" (1958) I'd rather see here Bianco's hauling Mr. Dead body. Hudson medical school? I can't believe they'd hire a sleazoid like Bianco. Looks like he's an outside contractor. Does that jacket say UPS? It says APS. Anatomical procurement services. Cooler's too small for our body. He didn't have time to cut it up. This is unacceptable. The order was for 20 knees. Well, the students will just have to share. My students are surgeons getting CME credit in advanced arthroscopic techniques. These people are not accustomed to sharing. Actually, they won't be a problem. I'm sorry, there is no auditing of this course. We're not here to audit the course. We're here to audit the school supplies. This medical school buys thousands of body parts. But I assure you, all the paperwork is in order. Where do you think you're going, Frankenstein? Well, I just make deliveries. I don't know where they come from. - Russ Bianco, you're under arrest. - For what? For snatching bodies and selling the pieces. Look, I didn't steal anything. I work in the mortuary as st. Mark's medical center. I oversee the anatomical procurement services. Yeah, they confirmed that. Okay. So we provide specimens to schools and researchers. It's illegal to profit from the sale of body parts. Look, we only charge for their transportation, storage, and processing. It is a vital, legal service. And it's all above board. As long as the bodies are donated, not paid for. Who donated the body in the back of your van? I don't know, but I can get you the paperwork. You have any paperwork on Manette Combs? / Who? Manette wasn't an organ donor. She never willed her body to science. And you bought her corpse from Mark Mogan at the Brooklyn M.E.'s office. Chopped her up, sold her parts. And then dumped what you couldn't sell. I don't know what you're talking about. That's not what you told me before. Make sure he's discreet. You see something you think I'll like, give me a call. What, you set me up? Her face ring a bell? We found her head, her arm, and a leg. Where's the rest of her? Ask my lawyer. Bianco doesn't have a stolen leg to stand on, does he? No, he ripped off donated bodies from his employer and then sold them. And when he couldn't fill his orders, he bought a few stiffs from the city morgue. Yeah, where was he keeping them? St. Mark's would've noticed the extra inventory. So he can't be storing his bodies there. Just got Bianco's financials. He makes a hefty payment every month to Randy's wine locker. Maybe he's an oenophile. I don't know what that is, but I can tell you he doesn't spend anything on wine. Those storage places are climate-controlled. You better call the M.E. Hands, feet, knees, heart, liver. It's a one-stop chop shop. Just plain creepy. Ah, and this must be an unprocessed donor. Scar on his back still has stitches. Vertical incision parallel to the spine. Avoiding the paraspinus muscle. And for those of us that aren't doctors? His kidney was removed. For some medical student to practice on. We got a big problem here. Yeah, trying to figure out who all these parts belong to. I'm talking about this incision. It started to heal. How is that possible? This man was alive when Bianco took out his kidney. Novak's waiting for your ruling So she can indict Russ Bianco for murder. I don't think there was a murder. John Doe here died of a pulmonary embolism. Blood clot to his lung. So taking out his kidney didn't kill him? Embolism can happen after any surgery. Or butchery by Bianco. Bianco didn't operate. Judging by the technique, this surgery was performed by a pro. - What was wrong with him? - As far as I can tell, nothing. Your victim had no signs of renal disease. And no one matching his description had a kidney removed recently at any hospital in the tri-state. Only reason I can think to remove a healthy kidney is to donate it. Or to sell it on the black market. - You gotta be kidding me. - Bianco's selling parts from dead bodies. Gotta be a lot more money in live ones. Sure he wasn't found in a hotel room in a bathtub full of ice? With the telephone next to him and a note to call 911, that's just an urban legend, captain. How we doing on John Doe's ID? Thomas Taylor, 34. Took a collar for shoplifting last year. No known address. This much tooth decay? Hasn't seen a dentist in years. He's probably homeless. So Bianco was recruiting poor people off the street. You got a desperate guy. Bianco offers him a couple grand. He'd sell his kidney and his mother's. And Bianco jacks up the price and flips it to some rich dude. Yeah, another example of how the wealthy get better health care. People wouldn't be buying kidneys if there were enough donors. You think selling organs should be legal? Why not? People can sell their blood, sperm, and eggs. Of course, there's more where that stuff came from. You only need one kidney to live. There would be more to transplant if people were allowed to sell them. What about those that can't afford to buy one? Are their live worth less because they're poor? Sixteen people in this country die every day waiting for a kidney. Rich and poor. We need a system that will save more lives. Well, until the law is changed, we're gonna have to collar the surgeon and whoever bought John Doe's kidney. Then start with the national transplant clearing center. Everyone on their list waiting for a kidney is a potential suspect. NATIONAL TRANSPLANT CLEARING CENTER REGIONAL HEADQUARTERS TUESDAY, MARCH 15 A subpoena? These people are sick. They have a right to privacy. I'm sure the NTCC doesn't condone the sale of black market kidneys. Of course not. The most critical patients should be getting first crack at these organs. Regardless of wealth. How many people are we talking about? 5,000 in New York state waiting for kidney transplants. Last year, we had about 1,000 donors. What happened to the people who don't get one? Some died. The lucky ones are still on dialysis, waiting. We're doing our best to encourage more people to donate. There you go. 700 names. New York first. John, you see who's at the top of the list? I saw. Amy Solwey. - John. - Thought you were still in prison. - I got out three months ago. - How? Compassionate release. I had the transplant, but rejected the kidney. Guess the state didn't want to pay my hospital bill. - How did you find me? - NTCC list says you're next in line. - For once, the sicker I am, the better. - How sick? End stage renal failure. And now, heart damage. So any day now. As soon as some perfectly healthy person with my blood type is murdered or has a terrible accident. Kind of hard to pray for. Waiting's got to be rough. Better than the alternative. You ever think of going on the black mart? You gonna bust me if I say yes? People say it's wrong to sell a kidney. But then, how come they pay everyone else? The transplant team. The NTCC. The hospitals. The people who make the rules aren't dying. Why did you come here? Because you have type-A blood, and we find a guy who died after selling his kidney on the black market. Also type-A. I don't need his kidney. I'm at the top of the transplant list. You should be starting at the bottom. BOYD OUTPATIENT DIALYSIS CENTER 155 LAFAYETTE STREET WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16 I'm number 37. I've been waiting for five years. But the sicker ones keep moving up the list past me. You having any problems, Carmen? Not yet. But I'd like to get off this thing and have a life. In Peru, you can get a kidney in 48 hours. People line up around the block to sell them. Surprised you're not on a plane right now. I would be. If I had 100 grand to pay for transplant. Here, I'll probably die waiting. I've been waiting seven years, and I'm sick of nurses and doctors and hospitals and praying. Man of your means has other options. Buy a kidney? No. I've had a good life. No regrets. I'd rather leave the money to my grandchildren. But you'd know where to go if you changed your mind. Everybody does. We used to talk about it all the time in my dialysis group. Can you give us a name? I could, but it would only be a rumor. And I don't necessarily believe it's wrong. Then why didn't you do it? Because we spent 90 grand on our wedding. There's nothing left. Now she's gonna die because I can't even afford to save her life. Staying positive is better for Kyle. It looks like it's working. How long has he been sick? Oh, since he was three. Kyle has polycystic kidney disease. We didn't know when we got pregnant, but James and I both carry an abnormal gene that causes PKD. How long has Kyle been on the NTCC list? Two year. But, uh... we just keep praying for a miracle. So anyone suddenly come into a kidney? The only folks that dropped off the transplant list died. John Doe's kidney could've gone into someone from out of town. Let's focus on finding the surgeon and the next buyer. James McGovern? He was debt free, so to speak, until two weeks ago. McGovern took out a second mortgage. Cash advances on his credit card. And drained Kyle's college fund. - The TOF? - $125,000. Which was wired yesterday into the personal account of our favorite local body snatcher. Russ Bianco. Okay, I made a deal with James McGovern. So you admit you sold him a kidney. Did I say that? See, I don't think I said that. He wants to be a wise ass, let's let the feds deal with him. Yeah, they're gonna need someone to testify against me, so good luck. / You really enjoy playing god, don't you? I'm saving lives. I'm a hero, man, I'm the future. I connect the needy with the need. Yeah, you're a real humanitarian using the poor as spare parts suppliers for people with money. The donor gets paid, a dying person lives, everybody wins. Especially you after you get your cut. What, I'm not entitled? I assume all the risk. It's business. You know how many bodies I see come through my hospital mortuary each week? / No. Accident victims. Kids with healthy, beautiful transplantable organs at their loved ones won't sign a consent to donate. That's their choice. You wouldn't be saying that if it was your mother. Or your wife, or your child that were dying. You know, you'd be begging for my phone number. Well, your number's up. Feds will be putting you away for ten years easy. But give us the transplant surgeon, and we'll see to it that you're home by Christmas. Oh, man. You guys didn't hear a word I said, did you? This guy thinks he's the second coming. Well, he's got a point. - Are you an organ donor? - Yup. I thought Jews had to be buried with all their body parts. I figure the Big guy will give me a pass if I leave a piece of myself to help someone else. - What about you? - I told Kathy I wanna. Did you check off that little box on your license? - No. - Why? - I don't know. - I know why. You're afraid to face your own mortality. - Well, who isn't? - We're all gonna die, Elliot. The only question is when and how? What? You pulled Bianco's LUDs? Swell. - Fin? - Yeah. Amy Solwey's been calling Bianco. Everyone who needs a kidney knows about Russ Bianco. What's the big deal? Well, you called him a couple dozen times over the last two months. You're at the top of the NTCC list. What do you need a guy like that for? Insurance. In case my next transplant doesn't work. Really? What is Bianco paying you to find buyers for his hot kidneys? I do it for nothing. Going to jail for assisted suicide didn't teach you a damn thing, did it? Sure it did. Now I help people live instead of die. Amy, you're still breaking the law. Arrest me. We don't want you, we want the surgeon who's performing the transplants. He's saving lives. Give us his name, or you're going back to jail. No jail's worse than living in the prison of a sick body. You'll be living in both when they take your name off that transplant list. That would never happen. When the NTCC finds out that you've been trafficking in black market kidneys, they're gonna cross you right off the list. You'd let me die? Give us the surgeon's name. We'll make sure no one knows that you were involved. Oh, god, no, no. Please. Mr. McGovern, you're under arrest. - Stay here with your son until we get back. - Please, you can't do this. - Where's Dr. Robert Swan? - In the O.R. This is my son, please. You can't go in there. You'll contaminate the room. Who the hell are you? Police. Please stop what you're doing. I have to close this man's incision, and you have to get out of here before he gets infected. - Where's his kidney? - Right there. - And it's going into Kyle McGovern. - No, it's not. It's evidence. And you're under arrest for trafficking in human body parts. Now close him up. I've got less than 24 hours to transplant that kidney. Doctor, you're not transplanting anything. Just, please, get changed. I'm not going anywhere until that doner wakes up, and Kyle McGovern is transferred to a hospital. - What happened to Kyle? - He's in hypertensive crisis. His blood pressure is through the roof. He needs a kidney in the next few days. - He's on the transplant list. - I have a kidney for this dying boy. The law says that you can't save him this way. Now, doctor... please go check on your patient before we take you in. That boy shouldn't have to suffer because of this, John. NTCC decides who gets the organs. Maybe they can work this out. Okay, bring Swan and McGovern in. Once everything's under control, I'm gonna tell the NTCC we've got a kidney. - We can't accept that kidney. - Why not? Our guidelines strictly forbid transplanting any organ that's been paid for. - These are extenuating circumstances. - Doesn't matter. Using that kidney would irreparably tarnish our reputation. Screw your reputation. That kidney will save a child's life. We have a hard enough time finding organs. Word gets out we're accepting them from people who've been paid, the whole system would fall apart. - Everyone would want money. - So that's it. You're just gonna turn your back on a healthy kidney. I'm sorry, detective. But I have no choice. John, the NTCC won't take it. Doesn't matter. Swan says Kyle is too unstable right now to take the transplant. I'll see you back at the squad. Thanks for coming in. Where are they? What are you talking about? Well, I just spent the last 15 minutes looking for Munch, McGovern, and the doctor. They're not here? I checked interrogation, interview upstairs. Only place I didn't try was the men's room. - You try Munch's cell? - Yeah. No answer. You know, Dr. Swan had to make sure Kyle and the donor were okay. Maybe there's a problem. Come on. What the hell is going on here? Casey, take Ms. Solwey out to the car. Leave her out of this! We didn't drag her into this. John, relax. Relax. Why'd you bring her here? Amy's next on the transplant list. That kidney would've been hers anyway. You're doing what we're trying to stop, John. That kidney was bought and sold. So let's just throw it away. She dies. I know that you care about her. But you can't do this. - If that was your son in there... - It's not my son in there. We're not talking about my son. When you collar James McGovern, you tell him your son's life is worth more than Kyle's. I gotta collar you, John. You arranged this. Novak saw you here. You don't think Swan gonna give you up to get himself a better deal? Why would I do that? Did he ask you to put that kidney in Amy Solwey? He didn't. It was my idea. I knew she needed a transplant. You can arrest me now, detective. I'm ready to go. Detective Munch brought you here tonight, didn't he? He is in a lot of trouble. He did it for me. I would never say that in court. Read my lips carefully. John Munch never came to your apartment tonight. He never brought you here. In fact, you don't even know where this place is. You got it? Yes. Detective Stabler. What are you doing here? - Have you arrested Mr. McGovern? - Yes. What's gonna happen to him? Have to hand him over to the FBI. He'll probably go to prison. For trying to save his son's life? Because he bought that kidney. He had no choice. His son will die without it. I know why he did it. But... There's nothing I can do. I gave you Dr. Swan's name, because I was afraid to die. If Kyle McGovern dies, I'll live with that the rest of my life. And so will you. It's time to go. You think we could stop by the hospital on the way to downtown? I can't. Kyle will panic if I'm not there when he wakes up. I spoke with your wife. She's at the hospital. You don't understand. When Kyle got sick, he asked me what happens when you die. And I told him it was... I told him it was peaceful, like going to sleep. And he was afraid to go to bed so... so I promised him... that I would be there to wake him up. I have to be there. Please. MERCY GENERAL HOSPRTAL KYLE McGOVERN'S ROOM THURSDAY, MARCH 17 Hey, Kyle. Your mom's in the cafeteria. Where's my dad? He asked me to be here when you woke up. Why didn't he come? Kyle, your dad loves you very much. He'd do anything in the world to make you well again. But... he did something wrong. Did he rob a bank or something? / No. Did he hurt anybody? He broke the law. He broke the law to get you a kidney. He was just trying to help you. So... why is that wrong? John, what you did took a lot of balls. Yeah, well, I gotta be able to sleep at night. Just came from the federal court house. James McGovern is pleading out. - How much time did he get? - 18 months. No one should have to choose between obeying the law and watching their child die. At least the judge postponed his surrender date for six weeks. Then he gets to bury Kyle before he goes to prison. No, John maybe not. The NTCC moved Kyle up to the top of the list. What about Amy? She just went to the hospital. Kid on a motorcye cracked up doing 140 on the B.Q.E. Kidney's a match. Hello, John. Where are you going? Home. Something happen to the kidney? I don't want it. - Why not? - Kyle McGovern's gonna die. We'd both have a kidney if it wasn't for me. If I turn it down, it goes to him. You could die waiting for the next one. I'll take my chances. That's the wankiest idea I've heard. You must be shell-shocked. Well, what are you- - Wankiest? Foolish, ridiculous, possibly even stupid. I think that's the best idea I've ever had. I don't know what the problem is. Okay, sweet, yes. Best? I don't think so. It's 1 0 after 7. I have to go to work. Just give me one good reason why we shouldn't. God, it's a hundred degrees in here, and I'm about to die. You're trying to change the subject. I can't breathe. Listen, you can be honest with me. No, I am being honest, I can't breathe. Michael. I'm not budging till you give me a good reason why we shouldn't. -Because you've gone completely mad. -Come on, no muss, no fuss? No family... . Yeah, okay, they might be a little surprised. You think? " Hi, Mom, hi, Dad, guess what I did today?" -They'd get over it. -No, actually, I don't think mine would. -Well, they'll have to, because I love you. -Michael. It's a great story for our grandchildren. They'll think we're crazy. -We would be crazy. -Do you love me? Yes, I do. See, you already said, I do. That settles it, that settles it. -We're getting hitched today. -Wait, wait, not so fast. Will I have a bouquet? Michael. Michael. morris: Glenda Bardelarinski, 53. Little head lac, CT negative. Just move her to an exam room, let her sleep it off. And then, a la casa. Okay, let me know when she's set up. Sure. Right this way, Glenda. What's with the stop sign? She's a school crossing guard. Doesn't that make you sick? The idea that woman is getting drunk on the job. Small, innocent, helpless, possibly even frail children in her charge-- What's happening in there? Hey, Frank. I think they're talking about you. -What? -Weaver kicking their butts is my guess. She's gonna kick their butts if they don't stop yapping at each other. -lsn't one gonna be the new ER chief? -My money ain't on the nosebleed. -The nosebleed? -You miss almost everything, don't you? Whoa, where do you think you're going? Guy in Curtain 1 wants some doughnuts. -Give me that. What are you thinking? -He was gonna give me a tip. Urine sample, Exam 3, to the lab. I need you to run up to the surgical floor, pick up the level 1 rapid infuser. Surgical floor? That's good. All right, let's clear some of these patients. I will be on today... ... butfirst,runyourcases by either Drs. Kovac or Clemente. You're on today? Good, I mean, that's good. You just-- You're always stuck in administration. Good to keep your skills honed. Dr. Kovac and Dr. Clemente will share the honor of running the board today. -Share? -Abby, head lac's ready for you. Doctors. -After you. -No, no, after you, my man. No, no. Really. Really, I insist. Oh, well, I insist too. I'm serious-- l'm serious too. Dr. Clemente. Board. Right. Okay, Glenda, come on, come on, come on, stop it. Don't make nobody-- Haleh, your paranoid gardener needs another slug of Haldol. -Oh, it's all right. I got this. Go ahead. I'll be back. Okay, Glenda. Here we go, a little stick, okay? -Aah! -Crap. Ortho's here for a tib-fib. Oh, crap. -Crap, crap, crap... . -Nice. Yeah, Morris signed her out as a garden-variety drunk... ... butheriv 'sbleedinglikestink. Her lac's oozing around the sutures. You know, alcoholics are often a little coagulopathic. How was your little sit-down with Weaver this morning? She was telling me and Dr. Clemente how charming we are. -Oh, really? -You don't think I'm charming? I think you're extremely charming. I just also think you're-- -Aah! -Whoa. Oh, crap. Spilled my coffee. She was telling us that we have to get along better, you know... ... leavebetterimpression... -... toResidentsandbemore agreeable. -Oh. -That's a lot to ask. -You don't think I am? -l think you're agreeable. -Well, you still think I'm full of-- Oh! Active duty servicemen can get married the same day. Bingo. Watch where you're headed. I mean, I realize it's all sex now, but 20 years down the road... ... she'sdraggingyouoff to the Moose Lodge... ... forfolkdancingand bingo. You know, I'm damn envious of you, Gallant. Finding your soul mate, someone to share your hopes and calm your fears. -Uh-huh. -Hold your hand in the dark night, and-- Good one. Keep saying it to yourself, you might believe it. Dr. Gallant, I'd like to offer my services in officiating at your nuptials. -What? I'm a Universal Life minister. -l can marry you and Neela. -Jer, they're looking for something legal. It's completely legal. I've married lots of people. So, what are you? Like, Reverend Jerry? Actually, I go by Father Superior. So the rumors are true? Yes. I'd like you to be my bridesmaid. Maid of honor, whatever they call it. Well, normally I'd say no, because of the taffeta dress... ... andmatchingpeaudesoie shoes... ... butbecauseyou'vehad a complete brain lapse... . Look, we love each other. -We wanna be together. -But today? We thought it'd be kind of crazy, something good we can tell our... . Anyway, his tour's over. What if he gets stationed in, like, Romania? He's hoping to finish his training in stateside Army hospital. I'm not saying he's not a great guy. He is, but do you know him? Of course, I do. He's incredibly kind, generous-- My dry-cleaning guy is kind and generous. Where's the prednisone? Left bottom shelf. I know him. I do. Does he fold the newspaper inside out when he reads it... ... andthenforgetstoputitback when he is done? Clips his toenails in bed? -Drips when the toilet seat's down? -Abby. -Likes jam on his grilled cheese? -l can learn during the marriage. -Yes, but I don't think that's-- -l love Michael... ... andI couldusealittlesupporthere. I am very happy for you, I really am. And, of course, I'll stand up for you. I wouldn't miss it. -Great. -Okay. Dr. Pratt, you got a moment? -Sure. -Walk with me? All right. This young man, K.J. Thibeaux? You've been sponsoring him as a Volunteen. Yeah. He got in the surgical floor storeroom, stole a digital video camera. -What? Get out of here. -l don't wanna make a big issue... ... aslongas he 'swillingtoadmitit, give it back, it doesn't go any further. -Who told you it was K.J.? -The chief of security. -One of his guards reported it. -He's sure about this? Surveillance cameras. Everything's on tape. I'm sorry. -All right, I'll talk to him. -He's just a teenager-- l'll talk to him. Jack Gitts, 38, high-speed MVC, no medical history. So, I've been checking: we can get the license, but they close-- -Can't talk now. -Just quickly. Got a lead on three places. The florist in the hospital would love to do a wedding. I've got a patient here. Vitals? Tachy, 130, shallow resps, BP, 80, palp. -Oh, and Jerry is gonna marry us. -What? I'll come back when you're not busy. Page Dubenko and call for O-neg. Did he say, Jerry? -l thought you knew. -One, two, three. Cantaloupe allergy is waiting for the Benadryl to kick in. lnfected nose piercing is home on Keflex. She did it herself with a thumbtack. That's sexy. is she single? And platelets are back on my drunk head lac. -A little low, 98, and inr is 1 .4. -Yeah, borderline. -Still, I'd like to give platelets and FFP. -Yeah, go ahead. Even a tiny bleed can become serious if she can't clot. It's possibly a good idea, Dr. Kovac... ... butyoudo realizethatbloodproducts carry the risk of infection... ... andtransfusionreaction,don 'tyou ? -Yeah. -Yeah, was the CT negative? There's no bleed that we could see. Do you wanna expose your patient to those risks because her platelets are low? Scan was four hours ago. She might have a delayed bleed. I'd worry more if she had mental status changes... ... ora focalneuroexam. -He's got a point. -She's drunk so that's hard to assess. Drunk people get sober. And careful observation is still better than any lab. That's right. I'd have to agree. What just happened? They've been pulling that on me all morning. I don't know, some sort of competitive agreeing contest? -l wouldn't steal any stupid camera. -Did you hear what I said? -They got you on tape. -Couldn't have been me. -You were up there long enough. -They had to look for that infuser thing. Don't give me that crap, K.J. Okay. There's this girl, one of the volunteers... -... she'sfineas hell-- -l went out on a limb for you. I thought having you here was gonna teach you something. -Then you go and do this. -l didn't do anything. You know what? Your father's on his way here. So for now, go sit in the waiting room. -But, Dr. Pratt-- -Waiting room. Bag him. -Got a second line? -Vein keeps blowing. Run first unit of O-neg. Hold four more units ready to go. So where's the reception gonna be? He needs central access. They haven't decided yet. I'd go to Baby Joon's. La Chiquita Roja is more romantic. Neela, place a subclavian. Cordis and sterile sixes. What was the other place? MALlK: The Mandarin Club. No way. -That's a bad idea. -Turn his head to the left. -Systolic's 84. I like The Mandarin. -Got a flash. Should definitely do Chiquita Roja. Candles, white table cloths, you know. No, Baby Joon's. I'm telling you, martinis and chili fries. X-rays are up. -C-spine clear, mediastinum looks okay. -Very good. -So where are you registered? -What? -Definitely have to. -Could someone get SonoSite? My ex-wife didn't, we ended up with clocks. With my sister, salad bowls. Seven of them. Does anybody mind if we just focus on the patient? Okay, then. Can we have that SonoSite, please? Neela. Can you get away? -We need to go get a license. -We don't know where to get married. -We do. Hospital chapel. -When did we decide that? -You were busy, I thought you-- -And Jerry's gonna marry us? Yeah, he has some kind of minister's license, so l-- ls that really who we want? What's Frank gonna be, the ring bearer? We don't have a lot of time. I had to make some choices. -Are you gonna choose the flowers too? -No, no. But you like lilies, right? -Michael, we have to talk. -About what? -l think this is getting a little-- Dr. Gallant. The groom isn't supposed to see the bride on the wedding day. Well, we have a few details to work out. Nothing that can't wait, I hope. -Dr. Rasgotra's scrubbing in on this. -l am? Yeah. You did that open lap in the street. I think I can trust you in a sterile operating room. You're not getting cold feet, are you? We'll talk later. Are his vaccinations up-to-date? His pediatrician and I don't believe in them. Immunizations are probably one of the most successful... ... publichealthinterventions ever developed. Thank you, but it's a personal decision. Did you know the air has 21 percent oxygen in it? He's studying the atmosphere in school. Well, that's very cool. He's sitting at 94, which is low, but nothing dangerous. It probably has to do with the fluid I heard in his lungs. I'd like to get a chest x-ray, which is nothing scary. It's just a special kind of photograph and it doesn't hurt at all. My uncle Deaver had one of those and we got to see all his bones. Mm-hm. -l don't want x-rays, if possible. Mrs. Kenig, I'm pretty sure Stewy has pneumonia. Well, can't you just treat it then, and we can avoid the radiation? Well, it's a small amount. lt just helps us have a look at what we're dealing with. -Glenda's waking up. -Thank you. Wouldn't you go with antibiotics anyway? Okay. He needs extra oxygen, he's gonna have to spend the night. Okay, that will be fine. Then, we'll hold off on the film for now, but if he gets any worse... . He gets x-rayed. He says he didn't do it. D, I don't like this any better than you do, man. He wouldn't lie. Come on, man. Did he lie about the tagging? Or the weed they found in his pocket? Look, K.J.'s a good kid, but right now, his judgment basically sucks. I wanna talk to this Doctor... . -Dubenko. -Yeah, the security guard too. D, they don't wanna press charges, man. But they're accusing my kid, I just wanna talk to them. Banana bag is finished and she took a few ice chips. Who are you? I'm Dr. Lockhart. You're at County General. Let's see if you can sit up on your own, okay? She should be sobering up by now. Glenda, can you squeeze my hand? Let's see. Try and squeeze my hand. Squeeze my hand. Come on. Okay. Can you open your eyes? Glenda, come on. Good. Okay. Over here, right over here. And do you know who I am? Who are you? Must have cleared 30 patients and no one's brawling yet. See? It's not that hard, is it? Like the man said: "Can't we just all get along?" Sam, weren't we sending the cracked Broviac up to lR? -Don't you want a CBC first? -Yes, you're right. -Sam, the labs done on Mrs. Garvey? -Just checked, be another half hour. Dr. Weaver, the search committee meeting has been moved up to 12:30. All right, Jerry. Thank you. -Dr. Kovac. -Dr. Lockhart. There's something not right about Glenda. Hey, that sounds like a movie, like, Something Not Right About Glenda. -A body snatchers thing, shaky camera. Morris. I wanna re-scan her. Really? Why? Because she's altered. -But she's a drunk, how can you tell? -Dr. Clemente, why don't you--? Why don't we let Dr. Lockhart present the case? -Absolutely. -She's disoriented. She's repeating questions. I just wanna get another CT. -How long here? -About six hours. Luka, your malrotation in Exam 4 is puking blood. -l'll check back. -Yeah, well-- ls she responding to commands? Yes. Hand squeeze and eye opening. Rule of thumb, if the patient's exam is non-focal... ... andrespondingto commands, just observe and wait. -Dr. Clemente, Ortho on line 2. C-spine's clear. Get her off the board. Pulse ox 97 on two liters. When you say a truck, do you mean they were driving an SUV or a pickup? SUV, it was blue or black. It was definitely black. - Okay, Judy, we're going to sit you up. - Ow, my chest! Did you see the driver or any of the passengers, ma'am? There were at least two of them. The driver was young, a teenager. White, black, Hispanic, Asian, what? White. I'm not sure about the passenger. Lungs are clear. BP 112/78. It hurts when I breathe. Okay, Judy, I think you've broken your breastbone. Add a sternal view, troponin, CT of head, abdomen and pelvis. What else can you tell us about the vehicle? There was a bike rack on the roof. They tried to force me off the road. They wanted to steal my car. Am I bleeding? You hit the window. It's not bad. Will I need stitches? Did either of them have a weapon, ma'am? I don't know. It happened so fast. I just wanted to get out of there. Enough for now. She's had a concussion. We need to let her rest before she goes up to the CT. - We're working here. - Sorry, Luka. We've got a trauma. We need the room. All right, here we go, gently. Lift up the neck. On my count, one, two, three. Here we go. We're out of infant C-collars. Luka do you know if we have any infant C-collars? You can use towel rolls. Airway is patent. I can't hear breath sounds with all the crying. - Do we have a sat? - Won't pick up. Kid's pink, sat's fine. 24 gauge going on in the right. You want me to take this, Kerry? I don't mind. What, you think I'm rusty? Superficial head lacs, no step-offs, left frontal-parietal hematoma. Call CT and let them know we need a head. Finally calming down. Or going apnic. Come on, baby. Wake up. Wake up. All right, uh, Inez, miller one and a 4-O. She needs a tube. Kerry, the kid's screaming. The airway is obviously fine. She's got a good mechanism for a head injury and she needs a CT. So what you're going to subject her to the risks of intubation, just to make it easier for the radiologist? - She'll settle down. Give her some time. - She doesn't have time. Agitation could be an early sign of head injury. Or an appropriate response to a stressful situation. Babies cry when they're scared. Thank you, but this is my patient. Her mental status is waxing and waning. She could go apnic in the scanner. You bag her through it. .5 of versed and vec. Hold on. You're going to lose your neuro exam if you sedate. And watch her bleed into her brain? No, thanks. - Push the meds, Inez. - She's alert. - Pupils equal, good tone. - Do it now. .5 versed going in. Come on, Kerry, we've both seen enough head trauma to develop gut feelings about this. Yeah, and my gut says intubate. She needs a tube. Giving the vec. Suction. The scope. - Where are they taking my daughter? - She's going up to the CT. But what are all those tubes? Why isn't she moving? The tube helps her breathe. It's just a precaution. Sometimes babies have to be sedated for CAT scans. It doesn't mean anything's wrong. Have the... police found anything? It's still early. They will. I should have waited... till it stopped raining. No one can control the weather. The good news is that your brain and belly CT are normal. Unfortunately, you've broken your breastbone and we'll need to monitor your heart to make sure it wasn't bruised. But I didn't have to go out. I... I could have waited. Grace was fussy all night and sometimes a car ride settles her down. I'm gonna numb up the cuts on your face before I suture. What am I gonna tell my husband? "Need a new car"? You're going to feel a little pinprick and then some burning before it kicks in. You have a bunch of phone messages. Tell Kayson to stop bothering me. I'll call Anspaugh back when I get a chance. Oh, crap. Henry's got a birthday party tomorrow. Could you go down to that toy store on Michigan Avenue for me? You want me to go outside? Yeah. It's just a few blocks. I need a King Funshine. I'll write it down for you. - In the storm? - What, you afraid you'll melt? What about the lightning? I'm a pretty big target. Well, then I suggest you try running in a zigzag pattern. The results are back for that little girl who ejected from the car. - Is she awake yet? - Not yet, but I'm gonna double-check. Baby's head CT is negative. - Just some soft tissue swelling. - Is she awake? No, she's still sedated. Then you can't follow her neuro exam. She'll wake up and we'll extubate. This is Bradley Anderson. His wife and daughter were brought in. The police said there was an accident. Somebody tried to carjack them? Yeah, they're doing well. Come on, I'll take you to them. Aren't you two supposed to keep 50 feet apart or something. Bite me, Frank. Ask me, you're better off. I didn't. Second EKG is unchanged and troponin is negative. He's pain-free after nitro and metoprolol. So, he's okay? Well, it doesn't look like a heart attack, but I think he has unstable angina. One of the arteries around your heart may be closing down, so you'll have to stay in the hospital for observation and some more tests. For how long? Could be just a day or two. - You okay with that? - Like I got a choice? You hang in there. I'll stop by later if I can. Um, excuse me. Excuse me. Hi. It might be better if you stayed, because the cardiologist is probably gonna have questions and instructions for you and your husband. Oh, I'm not Lee's wife. I'm his therapist. Are you a doctor? I'm his... satisfaction facilitator. What is that exactly? I have a select group of clients like Lee who require... something they're not getting at home. Something... sexual. See, I provide the one thing that's missing, which allows them to live happily ever after with their wives. Really? Oh, I help women, too. You call me if he needs anything. 60cc's of gastrografin and check the K.U.B. What's this? Nursing home dump. I'm changing G-tubes on comatose patients now. - How's your M.I.? - Unstable angina. Just out of curiosity, what type of guy hires a satisfaction facilitator? I believe it's the... politically correct term - for "call girl" these days. - A smart one? We have a saying in Croatia. - You know, "If it floats, flies or..." - Fornicates? Rent it. - Hey, Dr. Kovac. - Hello. I thought I might take you up on that offer for some coffee. - If you got a minute? - Sure. Page me if you need me. How many stitches? 7 on the forehead, 5 on the cheek, 12 all together. That's not so bad. Neela, this is Brad, Judy's husband. Hey, baby. - Honey, I'm so sorry. - Oh, come on. It wasn't your fault. The police told me what happened. The bastards who did this should be shot. No, I tried to get away and I lost control. You did everything you could. Don't worry, the cops will get these guys. - Have you seen Grace? - She looks good. - They think she's gonna be okay. - Really? We still have to run a few tests. Everything looks good, but as soon as I can, I'll bring her down so you can be with her. Okay, thanks. I'm gonna go back and stay with Grace until they're ready to bring her in here. I love you. I love you, too. Your husband seems like a great guy. It's okay, Judy. Everything's gonna be okay. I'm sorry. I'm not usually like this. Okay, well, the Venus flytrap is nontoxic, so it's not lethal if ingested. However, the larger ones are extremely dangerous, and have been known to devour pets and small children. No, no, no, I made that last part up. Uh... I'm sorry. Ma'am, I... You're absolutely right. This is not a venue for humor. I... I understand. I-I apologize. You, too. Do you need any help with the snakes? - Could have gone to the cafeteria. This one. Their coffee sucks. You didn't mention seeing me upstairs to anyone else by any chance, did you? No, no, no. I mean, I.... I wouldn't have said anything to you, but I just thought maybe you might want to talk to someone or something. Yeah. No, I appreciate the gesture. So what are your treatment options? I've opted for a radical prostatectomy. My urologist, Dr. Peter Singh, do you know him? He does a bilateral nerve-sparing procedure for patients with low volume disease. Well, that's great. Unfortunately, even in the best of circumstances, there's a 25% chance of loss of erectile function. Yeah, then you're looking at penile injection therapy, intraurethral pharmacotherapy, vacuum erection devices, or a penile prosthesis to achieve an adequate erection. Why, uh, then the good news is that there's a 75% chance of success. Well, the procedure also eliminates the ability to ejaculate. But the chance of urinary incontinence is relatively low, so at least I won't be wearing a diaper or need an artificial sphincter. Oh, well, there you go. It's-it's rather daunting, knowing that you may never have sex again. Well, it sounds like you're in good hands. Look... I know this is, uh, rather unconventional, and under different circumstances I certainly would have employed a more traditional approach with regards to courtship and romantic methodology, and assuredly enjoyed all the ritual of that, but given the time constraints and what I'm potentially faced with... You know, you might want to just kind of... Look, look. If I'm going down, I want to go down swinging. And I'd like it to be with you. So you want me... to sleep with you? Yes. Wow, that's something. That's... I'm flattered, I think. But I, uh... I can't do that. - No, no. I understand. - Nothing personal. No, I understand. Just asking purely from a scientific approach. What about after? After what? The surgery, to see if anything still works. I'm gonna have to take a pass on that, too. Abby, you want this? GSW to the upper chest! I gotta.... I better get back. You want to hop on? I mean... are you coming to the, uh, for the... Place a chest tube, call me if the initial output's over 500cc's. How's Grace? We moved her to one of our exam rooms so we're going to take you to her. Mrs. Anderson, I brought some mug books for you to look through. It all happened so fast, I'm not really sure what I remember seeing. Well, take a look. Maybe a face will jog your memory. I can't. - Why don't you give us a few minutes? - Sure. I don't want to look at those books. You might be able to identify the two men who drove you off the road. I can't. Why not? It was, it was pouring rain. I could barely see out the window. The car started to skid. I don't know, I saw the wall coming and I didn't stop, I just kept driving. What are you saying, Judy? What happened? I didn't know that Grace's car seat wasn't clicked in. I would never do anything to hurt my child. Did you do this on purpose? Sometimes I... I can't help it. Sometimes, it's like I don't know how to snap out of it. It's like... everything is coming at me at once and I just want it all to go away. Judy, did you try to hurt yourself? I just wanted it to stop. - Do either of you have a moment? - Shoot. I think my MVC mom's suffering from severe postpartum depression. - Just one second. - It's the baby. Grace Anderson. - What about her? - She's waking up. I thought you might want to extubate.r. Yeah, I'll be right there. What are her symptoms? She drove head-on to a wall with her baby in the car. I think it was intentional. I'd like to put her on psych hold. - Dr. Rasgotra? - That's the husband. Get Psych down here. - Can my wife go home now? - Not yet. What, you moved Judy out of the trauma room. I thought that meant she was good to go. We needed to clear the room. We have to rule out a cardiac contusion, so we need to monitor her heart some more to make sure it's not bruised. For how long? I'm not sure. It could be a while. Mr. Anderson... does Judy drink alcohol? No. I mean, she has a glass of wine now and then. Why? What about drugs? What's this all about? Just routine questions for her chart to avoid any drug interaction, that sort of thing. Have you noticed any change in her mood lately? Like what? She seem depressed? Any loss of appetite or trouble sleeping? You're kidding, right? We have a three- month-old baby. When Gracie doesn't sleep, none of us do. Look, the sooner I can get them both home, the sooner they can start getting better. I don't want to send her home until I'm sure there's no danger. No, of course, you're right. Thank you. Dr. Kovac, could you help me clear some beds? I thought I was. Well, maybe if we work together. Look, what's going on in Exam Two? D.U.B. needs an ultrasound to rule out fibroids. Good crits. Vitals stable. How about an outpatient scan and a GYN referral? Well, if you can get her in this week. Done. Okay, next: Buster Freeman. Dirty puncture wound to the foot, waiting on IV... Could he sit in a chair for that? I mean, it frees up a bed. Crystal Maranacchio. - Waiting on an ortho consult. - She's been cleared. - I called the attending. - You what? That's a new policy. When we call for a consult, the resident has 60 minutes to respond to the page, or we call the attending. All the department heads signed off on it, except Psych-- crazy bastards. Blaire Collins has been here forever. I called the nursing home twice. They were supposed to be sending a ride for her. Well, if they're not here in ten, I'm putting her in a cab. - She's comatose. - I was kidding, Dr. Kovac. Frank ? Call Blaire Collins' nursing home again and tell those idiots she's been ready to go home for the last four hours. Tell them yourself. I'm busy. Dr. Kovac? I think I'm one of those idiots. Trish Gorham, the assistant director from the nursing home that's been caring for Blaire Collins. I didn't mean that... It's our policy to check on patients prior to transfer. I gather she's well enough to return? Yeah, she's right over here. To be honest with you, all she needs is a course of IV antibiotics and the G-tube could have been changed at her facility. We're not staffed as well as the hospital, and the gastro-neurologist doesn't come out to the nursing home. The earliest I could have gotten anyone to see her was in two weeks. She have any family? Apparently her mother died from the crash that did this. There was a boyfriend, but he's stopped coming around years ago. He didn't even try to stop! - Somebody call my son. - 47-year-old victim of auto-versus-pedestrian. I just ran out to get the kids some pizza. - He didn't even slow down. - Systolic only 80 after a liter. Pulse 140, pale and diaphoretic. Ecchymosis across the abdomen and pelvis. Four units of O-neg and prime the rapid infuser. Am I dying? No, but you may have some internal bleeding. Resps are shallow. Let's set up for intubation. How often are you sad? Uh, not often. And what makes you happy, Judy? Being with my baby and my husband. Why are you asking me all this? We ask all patients these questions to assess mental status following a head injury. Well, my mental status is fine. Really. Any thoughts about wanting to hurt yourself? Uh, not unless you count wanting to take a carving knife to my hips. Do you ever think about wanting to hurt your baby? Of course not. What did you tell him? Judy, you said you were upset and that you couldn't snap out of it. What are you talking about? You told me you felt like everything was coming at you and that you wanted it all to stop. No, no, I said that I lost control of the car and I couldn't stop. You're putting words in my mouth. It's not uncommon for new moms to have bouts of depression. The first year with your baby can be very stressful. I'm not stressed and I'm not depressed, although I will be if I have to spend any more time here. So stop accusing me of being crazy and let me go. Nobody's accusing you of anything. We have to be extra careful whenever there's a child involved. Look, I appreciate your concern. Really. There's nothing wrong with me. I've had a rough day. And I just want to take my baby home and get some rest. Well, I hope you have a speedy recovery, Mrs. Anderson. - So are we good to go? - Uh, not quite, but you can go back inside now. I'll be right in. She's changed her story. There are no vegetative symptoms, no anhedonia. She doesn't have a depressed affect. - She appears to be in good spirits. - Well, something is going on. She as much as confessed to deliberately crashing her car. - But she's not saying that now. - She's lying. She's a prime candidate for severe... I want to be sure she doesn't have post partum depression just as much as you do. But it can be one of the most difficult conditions to diagnose. And if the patient is in complete denial or lying to me, not only can I not tell, but I cannot hold her. I gave her every opportunity to let us know. I'm sorry. - Need a hand? - I need eight. Oh, God, it hurts! What's this? Driver of our auto-versus-pedestrian. The guy ran out in front of me. Please, give me something. No neck pain, no chest pain, good vitals, but complains of bilateral thumb pain. Look at this. I can't even make a fist. And we're out of beds. Okay, let's park him. I'll see what I can do. Dr. Weaver, Psych's refusing to admit Judy Anderson. Psych? I believe her condition was a deliberate act. Yes, I know you suspect postpartum depression, - but did she admit it? - Practically. She drove head-on into a wall. The baby's seat wasn't properly anchored. She's obviously overwhelmed at home. ER. Please hold. Has anybody seen Jerry? I sent him out on an errand, but he should be back by now. You sent him out in this? You don't send Jerry out in the rain. I've heard that, too. Maybe I should get DCFS involved. Well, have you talked to the husband? Maybe he could convince her. A voluntary admission would be better for everyone involved. I'll try. Frank, where's Jerry? - Dr. Weaver sent him on an errand. - Oh, no, you didn't. What is the big deal? Big man does not do well in the wet weather. What the hell does that mean? Excuse me. Could you help us find our dad? Lawrence Digby. He was hit by a car. The doctors are still treating him. They said he got hit while crossing the street. Yeah, this guy was talking on his cell phone, wasn't paying attention, went right through the crosswalk. Come on. I'll take you back to him. Sam, you can go home now. I've got a float from ICU coming down. I'm gonna stay and help with this guy's kids. You're welcome to do so, but if you do, you're off the clock. Fine with me. Come on, you guys. Can I take her home now? We'd like to keep her overnight for observation. Oh, come on. Overnight? Why? I think your wife needs some help. Believe me, I've tried to talk her into getting a nanny, but she doesn't want another woman raising her daughter. It makes her feel like she's less of a mother or something. I don't mean that kind of help. I think Judy needs some psychiatric help. What? Brad, why don'twe sit down. It's not uncommon for new moms to get overwhelmed with all challenges of child care, specially the 1st year. So why are you making a big deal out of this? Usually, it's short-lived and goes away after the baby falls into a routine and the mom's hormones stabilize. But occasionally, it lasts longer, becomes more severe, and develops into something called postpartum depression. Yeah, yeah, but that's not Judy. Judy's not depressed, not like that. I mean, sure, she's anxious to get back to work, a little down about that, but that's normal. Purposely trying to hurt herself and your baby isn't. What are you talking about? She had an accident! Some creep tried to run her off the road. I don't think she was forced off the road. Dr. Rasgotra, nosebleed on Coumadin in Two. Please, talk to your wife, ask her yourself. Ask her what really happened in the car. - Sux on board. - Yankauer. - Assist ventilations. - O-neg's going on the right antecube. We're gonna need the rapid infuser. Curtain Four. They did an in-service. I got it. 'Kay, let's take a look. Sats down to 92. - Turn on the suction. - It's on. - No, it's not. - I have it on high. I'm not getting anything here. Inez, go next door and help Dr. Lockhart with the chest tube. I'm not allowed to work with any of the nurses now? The patient is paralyzed. I can't see the cords. - I need suction. - Hold your horses. Suction container wasn't sealed properly. You're welcome. Tube. Found it. Two units on the infuser. Set up for a subclavian. Okay, bag him. - End tidal CO2 is yellow. - Yellow's good. I'll be right back. All right, hook me up. O-silk is next? - O-silk. Come on. - Here you go. And I want to auto-transfuse this guy. You need a side collector on the thoraseal. You know, just go help Dr. Kovac with the rapid infuser, all right? No problem. What do you need? Central line, supraumbilical DPL, rapid infuser and a t-pod. What's a t-pod? Fine, I'll get it... again. - What do you want me to do first? - Find the O-neg. Everything okay in there? For the time being. Call for four units of type specific. Soon as I get this up. Hypotensive pelvic fracture. He needs the works. Those are his kids out there. Hey, Frank, can you bring those guys to the Family Room? Sure. Come on, kids. This way. - I'll be right in. - Great. - Guide wire? - I'm getting an error signal. There's not enough water in the warmer. - Thanks. - Cordis inducer. Stitch. Where's Dori with the T-pod? T-pods are on the bottom shelf. Update his vitals? - Okay, infuser's on. - Looks good. - Cathet... - Pressure's up to 95 palp. No gross blood. Where do you need me? - We're all set. - She's good. Thanks, Sam. We'll take it from here. I'll go check on his kids. She's really not sure what happened. She gave herself a good whack in the head. We can't do anything if she doesn't identify her assailants. That's okay. Like I said, she's not sure what she remembers. She's not even certain it was intentional now. Fine. Let me know if she changes her mind. You did the right thing. The next step is to get your wife some help. No. The next step is for me to take her home. My wife is not crazy, okay? She had an accident. It happens. I'd rather she chose to stay, than have psychiatry put her on forced hold. She's gonna be with me. She's gonna be fine. Just leave us alone. I mean it. Pressure's up to 100 systolic. Crit's 28. Send another 4 units to angio. Daddy? Your dad has a broken pelvis, which are the ring of bones around his waist. Some of his blood vessels have also been damaged. He's bleeding inside. Can you fix it? We're gonna try, but he's lost a lot of blood already. It's very serious. It was supposed to be me. I was supposed to go get the pizza, but I-I... didn't want to go out in the rain. It's not your fault, and it's not your dad's fault. Hey, jerk-off! I can't drive for a week. Not that I could anyway-- my car is totaled. What was so important you had to be talking on the phone while driving! Come on! What was so damn important! Hey! That's enough! - Hey, get that guy away from me! - Shut up! . Jason, hey, I know you're mad, but your father's condition is very serious, and your brother and sister need you right now, okay? Come on, Jason, I'll take you to the Family Room. Dr. Kovac, one of your patients is getting agitated. - Which one? T- he girl from the nursing home. - She's in a coma, Inez. - Not anymore. - Where... - I'm Dr. Kovac. Wh-Where's my mom? Okay, keep your hands up as if you were holding a tray. What's wrong with me? What's the last thing you remember? My mom and I were going to the mall... and it was snowing, Were we in an accident? Is she okay? I didn't treat her, but, let me see what I can find out, okay? - How is she? - She doesn't remember anything. What are you gonna tell her? I don't know. Your mother's dead, and you've been in a coma for six years? How are those kids doing? They're hanging in there. I got ahold of an aunt and uncle. They're with them right now. Inez, walk with me. Do I have to? - I better get into this. - I think you have just fantastic potential, but in every spare moment, you've got to be in there honing your skills. - Got a second? - Not really. If you're so concerned with the efficiency of this department, then you need to allow those of us who work well together - to continue to do so. - If you're referring to the... And if you want us to act like professionals, then you need to treat us as such. You saw me in there with Dr. Kovac. You saw how well we work together. If that doesn't prove that we can work the same shift, then I don't think you know your job as well as you think you do. Feel better? FYI: I already changed the schedule. You're back on your old shifts next week. Thank you. Don't worry. When I first started, I could barely hook up an I.V. It's all muscle memory. You'll get it, Inez, I know you will. I felt like an idiot. I didn't even know what a T-pod was. Everybody needs help with stuff. When you do, come find me. Thanks. Page me when he's out of surgery. Will do. - Hello. You're back. - Had a cancellation. He's this way. I tried calling Lee's cell, but he wasn't answering. - Is everything okay? - Yeah, he's doing great. We're just waiting for them to take him up to the cath lab. Ooh, that sounds ominous. They're going to do an angioplasty, which is a procedure where we insert a catheter into a blood vessel in his leg, thread it up to his coronary artery, which is used to inflate a balloon that will open up the blockage. Guess those cheese steaks caught up with me. I've been telling him to eat better for years. Hey, you! This is my... wife, Viv. Hi. I'm Dr. Lockhart. - I've been treating your husband. - Hi. Everything's okay. I've got a little blockage, but they're gonna fix it. I didn't get your name. Shawna. Hi. - And you are...? - Therapist. From Cardiology. Really? Your husband has to undergo an angioplasty. That's where we're going to insert a catheter into a blood vessel in his leg, and we're gonna use it to inflate a balloon that will open the blockage. Well, good luck, Mr. Rappaport. I have to get back to my other patients. It was nice to meet you. Excuse me for just one second. Whoa. That was close. Thanks. I-I really owe you one. Hey, listen, if you ever need a sex therapist... I think I'm good. Now that you mention it, do you ever do any pro bono work? Yes, I spoke to your resident, and he thought a hold was unnecessary, but I disagree, and all I'm asking is for a second assessment from another attending. Watch it! No, Dr. Wakita, not you. Hey, Jerry, where have you been? I was getting worried about you. Everyone was acting as if I'd sent you out in a hurricane. Are you okay? What the hell happened to King Funshine? Did you get hit by lightning again? He didn't get hit by lightning. Here's your change. Okay. Uh, let's get you on a cardiac monitor. CBC, chem panel, EKG... I realize that. I'm sure he is, but this isn't about me, him, or even you. It's about the welfare of a mother and her child. You will? Great! Thank you so much. Um, psych attending's coming down to assess Judy Anderson. If Dr. Wakita asks, you agree with my postpartum depression assessment, right? Yeah, you got it. Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, I have some good news. One of our attendings from upstairs has agreed to come down and speak with you. I've seen enough doctors today. - We're going home. - Please, he's on his way down right now. - We've been here for hours already. - This will only take a few minutes. I just want to go home, have dinner and a bath and put Grace in her own crib. You want what's best for your baby, so do I. Then leave us alone. - Judy you need to speak to someone. - She just needs to rest. I know you don't want to hurt yourself or Grace. You need professional help. Do you have children? Then how do you even know what you're talking about? - I'm a doctor. - But you're not a mother. Judy, listen to me... Please don't go. My wife has a touch of the baby blues, and you want to lock her up? No one's locking anyone up. I just want her to get the help that she needs. - Oh, by giving her drugs. - Maybe. Ignoring it is not gonna make it go away. It needs to be treated the same as any other disease. This could happen again, only next time, it could be worse. Judy, please. You could die, Judy. Your baby could die! Transcript: RaceMan Synchro: Bendef Subtitles: Spooky Did you ever think it possible that God in His infinite mystery could produce two mortal beings so perfectly matched in taste and temperament... who could think and feel and see and act as one? Everyday now since we met, I look out there and know there is a natural order to the universe. And what chance was there? Among the random, drifting moats of all creation that our paths could ever hope to cross until... that hellish Hogmanay at Richard McCauley's. WOMAN: Where I swear I was truly contemplating the efficacy of self-impalement as a means of escape. Forgive me. -Jack Coulson. -Roberta Samms. God, I'm sorry. I must be the only man in Christendom who cannot see the pleasure in barking and whooping like a rooster while capering about the room among a colony of simpletons. Also, the choice inanities that seem to charm a lady on these occasions are beyond my wit, I'm afraid. So you see before you a hopeless social misfit. You have just articulated every sense of frustration and alienation in my soul. I'm honoured to make your acquaintance. Is it too fanciful to believe in this great puzzle called life... we are each born to be one of a perfect pair? You see, I have never known anyone before who discards that strange stringy bit on a banana as I do. -And the most remarkable thing of all.... -You don't need to say it. -The telepathy between us. -Don't you think it's truly astonishing? You see, dear Jack, I wonder if you can tell what I am thinking now. Well, let me tell you what I'm thinking. That this moment now is more precious than I can say. The two of us here, the song of a curlew, the first budding leaves of spring, and yet, this time tomorrow it will all be just a memory. Oh, yes. How sad that we both should dwell on that. I think I fear the passing of time more than anything. But it teaches me at least to value the present. And not to take for granted a single second the two of us are together. CLEO: What is she like? You know she used to put love bites in her neck with a garlic press? As true as I'm sitting here. Every night, so everyone thought she'd pulled. Stacey told me that one. Oh dear, who's coming over to stay next week, actually. So that will be a riot. 'Cause did I tell you? She's got this thing right, my sister, where you can never tell if she's laughing or crying. Both sound exactly the same. Like, she'll be going.... And you'll go running into the room, "What is it, Stace? What's the matter?" She'll be sitting there watching The Simpsons. Or else, then she'll ring you up, she's going, "I think I'm pregnant." -Sorry, are we getting on your nerves? -Mmm. Hm? Gotta be a good book that, Ali. You can't seem to put it down. Yes, it is. Erm...no, I was just thinking about this party I'm supposed to be going to tomorrow. What I'm going to wear, what everyone else will be wearing, whether I'll end up looking like a transvestite again. -Don't know. Did you tell us about this? -Didn't I? Yeah, my dopey cousin Janice in Hove, who can barely string a sentence together at the best of times, rang me up the other day. I'm sure you met her once, she came in the store with her husband. They're one of these couples, whatever they've got on, they always clash. He'll be in this shirt or something that's lime green and she'll be in turquoise. The whole principle of tonal harmony is lost on them. And she said I've got to come to Brian's birthday bash 'cause this year it's the "big four". She's not having any excuses. Actually, I wonder if I'm getting tonsillitis. Ali, will you get your arse out of the comfort zone for once and just make the effort? You see, this is why you never meet anyone. And, I mean, it's not as if you're not good-looking. Yeah, you've got loads of great qualities that would be really attractive to a man. You know.... Well, you seem to have backed yourselves into a corner on that one, don't you? -Thank you very much. -No, it's just.... I don't know. It wouldn't hurt you to be a bit more flexible sometimes, that's all. I mean, it's like this bloke Milly's seeing at the moment. Right, the one who works at the airfield. You said you thought was getting really serious. Well, that all went a bit pear-shaped in the end as it happened. Which is why I never said anything. He invited me down there, didn't he, one day. Took his plane up in the air.... CLEO: At which point, fate suddenly threw temptation in your way. And so then, of course, I started seeing this mate of his, who was really great, you know. Except, our first night together, we're in his bedroom and it's all, you know, and suddenly he asks me what are my feelings about capital punishment. You're joking. What, where you stand on the issue ethically? Wow, that's a first. I think she means corporal punishment. Yeah, well, whatever. Spanking basically, right. Over the knee, bare bottom, all that caper. To which at first, obviously, I was like, yuck, you know. But I don't know, I just thought if you really care about someone and what gives them pleasure... so I just closed my eyes and went for it. God, you star. -And did it hurt? -Well, that's the thing. At first, not that much, but then gradually I could feel it really starting to sting. And after about half an hour, my God! Oh, why do I know what you're going to say? Your hands just went completely numb, right? It really did. I'm not joking. I said, "Look, do you mind if we stop now, Terry, "'cause you're not going to be able to sit down tomorrow at this rate." And after that he was so turned on. I tell you what, it made such a difference. You see, Ali, this is all vital stress management you're missing out on. That every woman needs on a regular basis, even when you're on your own. If you know what I'm saying? In fact, I've got something here you could use. I bought it for myself, but I think your need is greater. -What is she going to bring out now? -No, I'm serious. This'll be the perfect thing for you. It's a candle. You light that for about 1 0 minutes, Just let it fill the room. It's very sensual and very erotic. ALICE: Well, that was a complete waste of time. I've made myself feel totally sick now. You should never try and achieve ecstasy on top of Horlicks. The trouble is I get a sexual fantasy in my head and then I can't hold on to it. My brain keeps wandering off. Like, I was just in the middle of this really exciting, intense, erotic act... and then I started worrying if it was illegal in certain states of America. And then for some reason or other, Ted Rogers appeared... doing that thing with his fingers. Then after that it was just hopeless. My dad always said I had a butterfly mind. If only I could learn to concentrate. 1 2.:50. I can't believe that dream I was just having. It was so weird. God, when do I ever wake up physically aroused? Never. Maybe if I just empty out my mind and... completely relax, I can get back there again. Gil. Irene. -How did you get in here? -Through the front door. I've got all your keys, the alarm system. Look, I know this probably seems like a strange moment to call around for a chat, but.... -Are you serious? It's the middle of the night. -I feel really bad, that's all. I haven't been in touch, you know, since that night. I think we both got a bit carried away, didn't we? Well, I know. It was... like a cheap 1 950s farce with underwear, and husbands and hiding in cupboards, but at least we kept our heads in the end and didn't actually do anything, so.... Anyway, top and bottom of it is I just want you to know this... Bob and I decided to get back together again. Well, that's fantastic. Really great, Irene. I'm thrilled to hear that. Well, hopefully great, we'll see. I just hate to think that that made you feel... in any way.... -Rejected? -God, is that what you feel? -No. No, of course not. No way. -'Cause, you know... I'll always have a soft spot for you, Gil. -It's just.... -What's happening here? -Is everything okay? -Bob? Of course it's okay. It's fine. -Will you stop worrying and go back to bed? -Wondered where the hell you'd gone. For goodness sake. Look, I'll tell you later. Now, let's just leave him in peace. -Okay. Well, cheers then, Gil. You take care. -Yeah, yes. See you around, Bob. Oh, Roberta, my sweet darling. God forgive me for what I'm about to do if it appears in anyway perverse or improper to you, but... I really fear I can't help myself. And at that moment, I swear he could've done anything. Such was the passion that coursed through my veins as he gazed upon my body for the first time, unclothed and unfettered by the trappings of society. I hope it will not shock you, Dora, when I say that he surrendered to his deepest most primal impulse... and wrote a poem, slowly at first... delicately selecting each precious word. But as the inspiration took flight and his imagination soared, oh, what imagery! What rhythmic, pulsing metres. What gushing, bounteous couplets flowed from his pen. My dearest sister, I tell you now, he is the warmest, truest, most perfect gentleman I have ever met in all the world. ALICE: I suppose Cleo's right. I'm going to have to go to this thing tomorrow. Brian's birthday bash, "the big four"... and drag myself out of the comfort zone. God, I hate parties. -Hey, hello. -Hi. How are you? Now one with just the three cousins. Darling, if you just wanna put yourself in the middle there. And big smiles. Lovely. So, anyway, how's life treating you these days, Janice? -You're looking well. -Yes, still muddling along. Yeah. And Malcolm? -He's....? -Yeah, he's fine. Yeah.... -Absolutely. -Good. ALICE: I was trying to remember, actually, the last time I saw Stephen and Phillipa. I think it must have been Aunt Ena's funeral. -I presume he's still working on the Advertiser? -I don't know. -Deputy news editor there or something. -Something like that, yeah. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. And she still... -does whatever she does in the City somewhere? -Yeah, I think so. -Yeah, that's right. -Right. And I suppose.... How old would Julie be now? Fourteen, I suppose, she must be. Fourteen, yeah, God. It makes you think, doesn't it? -Yeah. -Certainly does. Oh, yes, how could I forget? I managed to get you some samples off the Givenchy counter. -You didn't! You little angel. -Ysatis. Which I know you always wear, come rain or shine. -Should keep you going for a while. -God, fancy you remembering that? Ysatis. Thank you, Alice. Isn't that sweet of you? -I'd love a lager. Thank you very much indeed. -Great. Excuse me a sec, will you. Natalie! Now look what you've done, you messy little girl. That's not nice, is it? On your Uncle Steve. -It's fine. -I'm so sorry. STEPHEN: No idea she was going to put as much on. Don't worry. I'm sure it'll come off with some Vanish. Oh, dear. Yes. Actually, Alice, you think we could have a quiet word somewhere? Only, er, I've got a bit of a problem. IRENE: Hey. BOB: Surprise. Hi, how you guys doing? GIL: Getting a little exercise out there. IRENE: Yeah. Still trying to keep ourselves in trim. Right, so I see. -Working up a good old sweat. -Yeah. How about you? After last night, obviously, we can't stop thinking about your brother. Right. Sorry, my....? I mean, how is he? Is there any more news on his condition? Sorry, Gil, would you excuse me? Mick. Yeah, I've been trying to get hold of you all morning. Yeah. I told him your brother had been very badly injured in an accident in America. That it was touch and go whether he'd pull through, and you were so upset about it all that I had to come around last night to see if everything was okay. -And he believed that? -Absolutely. What I said was he'd been taking part in a javelin contest, okay? And as he was running along he'd stumbled and dropped the javelin, which had stuck in the ground, and he'd fallen face first, right on to the point which had completely pierced the roof of his mouth, and ended up about half an inch away from his brain. -So.... -God, that's horrible. What on earth did you make up a story like that for? Well, I had to think quick. It was the first thing that popped into my mind. The first thing that popped into your mind? How about his car went off the road, or he fell down some stairs or.... What am I talking about anyway? I don't even have a brother. -Well, you have now. His name is Hiram. -Hiram? Great. What is he? An assistant librarian with little pince-nez glasses and a nervous twitch? God, I never realised you had such a fertile imagination. Well, what was I supposed to say? That I came around to break the news to you our relationship was over? -He'd have gone potty. -What relationship? -We never had a relationship. -Okay, look, we got to make a move, sweetheart. Mick says he can help shift my stuff back today if we get there by 3:00, so.... Oh, yeah, the other thing, Gil, and it's bit of an odd one. My mother, you know she's in this nursing home now in Lower Ledbury, and maybe the old marbles are starting to go or what I don't know, I mean, she's 81 . But all she kept saying when I was there yesterday is how much she wanted to see you. Me? Are you joking? Why would she want to see me? I don't think I've ever even met the lady. Well, I said I'd pass it on. Anyway, look, we'll see you around, okay? And, you know, I really hope it works out for Hiram. Right. Thank you. -What is it? You're not ill or anything? -No, it's nothing like that. No. Well, then listen, if you've got your health, I tell you, there is nothing else in life worth getting that upset about. So, come on, you can share it with me. What's the problem? Well, you see, the thing is... I've got to go to prison. -No, seriously. -I'm being serious. God, you think I'd make jokes about a thing like this? I'm out of my head with worry. Look, we're none of us perfect, okay? And I won't bore you with all the financial irregularities. I knew it was wrong what I was doing. Just thought I'd get away with it. My mistake. They're coming down so hard now, the regulating bodies, on any kind of fraud. Fraud, my God! Phillipa. So, what are you saying? You're being taken to court? I've been to court. I've been found guilty. I go back tomorrow morning for sentencing. My lawyer reckons twelve months. Nine if I'm lucky. I mean, I'll cope. I've got to cope. It's Stephen and Julie. They've both taken it very badly. I can imagine. He'll be like a fish out of water without me around. And she's just at that age where the hormones are all exploding and she's confused about boys. I mean, she desperately needs a woman there... with a wise head on her shoulders. Who can steer her through the quagmire of sexual relations. I'll bet. Oh! Yes. It's a lot to ask of you, Alice, I know. But that's what families are for, right? Yeah, he's just walked in, Jeff, as a matter of fact. Yes. So, absolutely, I'll pass it on. Okay, if you can just watch your shooting ratio, love. Yeah, we'll see you then. Cheers. -How are things on location? -Very hot apparently. He said it's like a furnace in that room. 'Cause they're right under the flight path they've got to keep all the windows closed and there's bugger all ventilation. But they're all thrilled with the material. He said the whole thing's got a real buzz to it. It's gonna be really different to the rest of the series. And John's put together a bit of cut material for you to have a look at. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. -What? -No, I've just... been getting a lot of static electricity today. Just after I'd polished the table, it was a combination, maybe, the friction and the weather. Anyway, what happened to you? You get whiplash or something? You wouldn't believe me if I told you. What? What? Tell me. I went to an orgy. Yeah, right. -What did I say? I said you wouldn't believe me. -An orgy? What are you talking about, Lloyd? Who the hell in this world goes to an orgy? Well, I did, as it happens, in the early 80s. More times than I care to remember. And some bright spark, who shall remain nameless, who works in the music business... thought it would be really wild and retro to try and get us all back together again. -Kind of like a fornicator's class reunion. -With all that that entails. I'd say that the average age of the participants was 46, 4 7. God, it was sad. A room full of naked, middle-aged people all doing stretching exercises before they got started. Twenty years ago, we'd of been banging away to the Stranglers No More Heroes. Last night we could barely keep up with Eric Satie. The kind of thing to convince you you're getting old. In those days, putting a joint out meant something quite different. -Hey, that's very nearly a funny line. -Thank you. Just needs a little fine-tuning. 'Cause you know, I'm feeling a bit creaky myself today. Did I have a weird night. This Irene woman from next door turns up in my bedroom, can you believe? To tell me she's just got back with her husband. I mean, what's that all about? You know, 'cause remember after that dinner party last week, she was all over me and.... I mean, I admit for my part, I was not above shamelessly mauling her body, but.... And what made it worse, when she came in I had just been having this really erotic dream about my dentist. -As you do. -Who I hasten to add is a woman, but... I don't know what it was, you know? The fact that I'm lying there stretched out beneath her... completely at her mercy as she's leaning over me. Her breasts softly brushing against my shoulders. And I'm there, you know, with my mouth gaping wide open as she's drilling into me and packing my gums, screwing in all these clamps. God, you know, there's all this Freudian symbolism going on, I just woke up steaming. I tell you, this could put a whole new spin on my next appointment. Bye! You know, the biggest irony here... that all that had been going on for two years and I had no idea. All these clandestine accounts and funds she was squirreling away for our old age. Not an inkling. You know, I'm supposed to be a news editor. Couldn't see a story that was right under my nose. Yes, well. I think that worktop's looking pretty spotless now, actually. I know, I'm pathetic. Look at me. Pouring all my angst into a dishcloth. Not a bit of it, Stephen, don't be silly. I think it says a lot about a man who's prepared to clean. It's a very rare and virtuous quality. I mean... I know it must seem as if your whole world has just collapsed right now, but.... God, Alice, if I ever get through this in one piece.... You'll get through it. Of course you will. Because people do. Look... do you know one of the most horrible things in life... is the speed that time just flashes past us. How quickly a moment becomes a memory. But that can work the other way as well, you know, because... you'll be amazed how soon she'll be back here. The two of you, you know.... You'll have learned something from the experience. It's always the way. And you'll be around, won't you? To begin with, at least. Of course I will. Absolutely. It's gonna seem so weird here without her. And the house is gonna be so empty. -The dishwasher's just.... -It's okay. So how are you faring, Julie? You know you've got to try and be strong, for your dad's sake because he's a right wreck down there, I tell you. What am I gonna do, Auntie Alice? I'm gonna have to kill myself. I was already gonna have to kill myself before after I got dumped by this boy at school. -Before all this happened. -Oh, God. So, now you've got to kill yourself twice. Listen, a great girl like you, there'll be loads of other boyfriends. Yeah, except I'll never get another one now, will I? -Why ever not? -Because... I'm different to all the other girls. I don't talk like them. 'Cause they're all like, "Hey, I'm so cool," and "That's so not true." And "She was like, 'Hey' and I was like, 'Chill'." And "fess up" and "don't diss me". I mean, why can't they speak properly, you know? I mean, Mum was always teaching me how important it was to... express yourself clearly and intelligently if you want to get anywhere in life. Of course, she's serving a jail sentence now for embezzlement, but.... I'm sorry I just can't say all those things which, of course, makes me totally weird. I don't think you're weird. I think the fact you're a bit different from them and want to think for yourself is wonderful. Always remember, "A cliché is the handrail of a crippled mind." That's very good. -Who said that? -A man named Spike Milligan. Oh, yeah, I think Dad's got a load of his books. 'Cause that's another thing. No one I know ever reads. I know. It's one of the best things there is. To lose yourself in a good book. In fact... there's one I'm definitely going to lend you when I'm finished because... I think you'd get a lot out of it. Unspeakable. Truly unspeakable. It was just how I felt. It makes one despair. But... you cannot possibly know what I was reading. From your reaction, it can only have been that letter from some old colonel in Oxshott, or wherever it was, expressing support for America's adventures in the Philippines. Which any sane person knows is an act of the purest imperialism and he concludes with the comment, "War is heck but they must not weaken in their resolve." Can you imagine the warped morality of any man alive who would use the words "war is heck"? I just thank heaven he is not my husband. Just as everyday I thank heaven that you and I are together and that life is as perfect as it can be. What is it? What's wrong? No, no. It's nothing at all. As you say, as perfect as it can be. Some more tea? GIL: What am I doing here? I'll probably find it was someone called Bill she wanted to see and she just didn't have her teeth in. But listen, it's an hour of my time and... maybe she just needs cheering up. Er... Mrs Andrews? Hi. Probably don't remember me. I live next door to Bob. My name's Gil Raymond. Just thought I'd pop by, see how you were. Gil? Oh, Gil. You picked up my spoon. Excuse me? In the garden. You picked up my spoon. Erm.... Oh, so I did. Oh, God, listen, what a day that was. She never wanted me there in that house in the first place. Oh, I'm sure that's not true. You don't know her. She's a nasty piece of work. The way she used to treat me sometimes. And the things she used to say. And he was no better. Wouldn't lift a finger for me unless he had to. And then.... Then he started mucking about with prostitutes. He was a pervert and... she was a mean, spiteful bitch. And I tell you now... they deserved each other. Oh, well, my gosh. How about I pour you another cup of tea because.... What do you think? This one looks like it's getting a bit...cold. Darling. Gil's been down at the nursing home with your mother. Obviously, they're gonna call you, but I said.... You know, I felt I should be the one to.... I suppose we can't say we haven't been expecting it. For some time now she'd been gradually winding down. -And at least it was peaceful. -Oh, no. I just wish we could've been there. So, what were her last words? Do you remember? Her last words were.... Actually, yes, I do. She said the two of you deserved each other. Ah. Anyway, I'll just, you know. I'm just really sorry. So, what sort of fruit does he like on his cereal? Bananas? He's not keen. I know what you mean. There's always those long stringy bits down the side, aren't there, you can't bring yourself to eat. Why is that? Oh, no. God. -What's happening? -It's those two guys from school. Gary and Jamie. Oh? They look nice. Yeah, except watch how they completely ignore me because I'm about as interesting to them as a fly. Bet they don't even say hello. -Hey, Julie, you all right? -How's it going? I'm okay, thank you, ish. How are you? Yeah, good. Yeah. So is that right, your mum's been sent to prison? Like, what was it? Charges of fraud and gross malfeasance. -Sounds as if you know all about it. -And so she's, like, banged up in there with all those slags and ratbags, like in Bad Girls? -It's not quite like that actually in real life. -I know, but.... Well, she's a pretty major criminal though, yeah? -She have to wear one of those uniforms? -Yeah, with all the arrows all over it. Yeah! So, what are you doing this afternoon 'cause we're just hanging out? Yeah, I mean, do you fancy coffee? Yeah, of course. No, of course I want you to. It's just I can't make tomorrow or Saturday. That's all. How about Sunday? No. No, that would be perfect. Oh, my gosh, you'll never guess.... There's no question it's been the making of her, this whole business with her mother. Seems to have turned her into a major celebrity overnight. I know. She's got five dates so far on the strength of it to my certain knowledge. Kids, I don't know. Another world. Gosh, what's this? You're really spoiling me. Three days running. Well, you know. It gives me a chance to try some things I'd never bother with just for myself. So tuck in. I know, but it's time I got my act together. I don't want you coming round here every night, do I? Whatever. So, how's life in the newsroom? Oh, I don't know, Alice. I think you get too close to it all sometimes. You know, we had this op-ed piece today a guy had written about the threat being posed to world peace by the militant Christian right. And this is a retired bishop, I have to say. And a veteran CND campaigner, you know, the still small voice of calm. It was 2,000 words and the editor spiked it 'cause he didn't want to offend the majority of our readers who probably do believe, and I'm quoting, "The West has a God-given franchise "to impose its creed upon every nation." I know. -War is heck. -Sorry? I'm quoting. People who can't say the word "hell" but have no problem creating it. Now, this is delicious. I sincerely hope that you'll be staying over again tonight. Is that okay? Save you the trouble of driving me back. Absolutely, and... I can have another glass of wine. Do you know what I was thinking about the other day? The first time we shared a bed together. Oh, God. Yeah. Think I was five, you were six. When you used to come over and stay for the weekend, then Dad would take us out to the Downs for a picnic. Sit there smoking his pipe while the two of us went off to play together. Yeah. As you said, a moment becomes a memory. Sorry about that. This looks brilliant 'cause, I tell you, I'm absolutely famished. Oh, I don't know, that isn't bordering on incest, is it, Ali? -I mean, your own cousin. -Oh, probably. So, what? It will never come to anything. It's just.... I don't know, this last week or so, I can't remember ever feeling so comfortable with someone. I suppose because there are no hang-ups there for either of us. We're not worrying about where it's going or... trying to judge each other on any level, we're just.... Anyway, there's no way it could ever develop into anything, obviously, because, for a start, he's a happily married man. What are you talking about? You can't possibly have met someone else. -You're in prison. -Stephen, do we have to have a scene? You always have to do this. You have to overreact and start fulminating in front of everyone. What do you expect me to do? Hand out cigars? God, Phillipa. We've been married 1 7 years. What are you telling me? You're in here eight days, you've had some kind of epiphany? What the hell is that supposed to mean? -I think he means.... -I know what he means. The answer's no. It's a man, okay. His name's Derek. He works in the library. He's been so kind and helpful to me... with my reading... and opening my mind to all sorts of new possibilities. We both know it, Stephen, I failed. As a wife, as a mother. And, right now, I just badly need a change of direction in my life. The truth of it is, so do you. For God's sake, you deserve better than me, you deserve.... I'm sorry. Look, perhaps it's best if we just.... Sorry, Gil. -Have you got a minute? -Hi. Actually, you know, I was just off to location. Is it important? My mother has left all her money to you. -You're saying she changed her will? -Two weeks before she died. Had it all properly redrafted and witnessed at the home. Without saying a word to you guys? I'm sorry, I'm very confused here. As are we all, Gil. That my mother-in-law in what has been legally confirmed as a "sound state of mind" -should bequeath her entire estate.... -We're talking about GBP1 7,000. "To Mr Gil Raymond, of 1 5 Carpenters Lane, Larch End, "for picking up my spoon." God, that's.... Look, much as I appreciate, you know, her very generous gesture, this is all a bit embarrassing. I mean, obviously, there's no way I could accept, or dream of keeping this money, so.... Well, you know, of course that's exactly what we thought you'd say. Didn't I say we can absolutely trust Gil to do the right thing whatever happens? Oh, God. No, no, you can put your minds at rest on that one. I mean, please. Have faith in our love for each other? But how can I rest when I know in my heart something troubles you? Jack, there is no burden in the world you should bear alone. Tell me. Just over a week ago, it all became clear to me. Call it sixth sense, call it intuition, or some strange metaphysic but suddenly I realised... that perfect as our lives appear to be, the pair of us together... there is one wretched, brutal fact that will forever stand in the way of our true happiness. My darling... we don't exist. The two of us, you and I, are merely characters in a work of fiction. Everything about us, our minds, our bodies, everything we do and say, the product of a writer's imagination. And our world of consummate bliss is no more than a hopeless romantic idyll that in real life, I fear could never be. My God, say it isn't so! MAN: Sorry, Jeff, we've got another one. We're gonna have to stop it. Oh, my God. It's so hot! Thank you, Virgin Atlantic. I'm bloody melting here today. Great tag. I love that. The way you subvert the whole reality to question your whole premise. Martin, are you well? How was New Zealand? Very wet, I hear. I mean echoes of NF Simpson and all that. Jeffrey, sorry, mate, we've got to be on those reverses by 4:00 or the excrement's in the air conditioning. Didn't they do well? You must be pleased. Well, yeah, it's like a whole extra dimension to what I wrote which... really rounds it all out. Yeah. So, anyway.... What do you think about this thing with my neighbours? I mean, don't you think that it's all totally bizarre? Yeah, it is bizarre. But, I suppose, rather touching that... when it came down to it, at the end of her life, she didn't have any time for her own son or the woman he married. The only thing that really meant anything to her was you picking up that spoon. Oh, God. Just got a real shiver down the back of the neck when you said that. You're right, like a real Rosebud moment. Guess I'm gonna have to go away and give it some careful thought. I don't think I will. -I'm seeing Amanda tonight, my dentist. -You're kidding? No, you don't want a cavity full of crumbs. Once her tongue goes in, no way. We're meeting up for a drink, that's all it is. Maybe a bite to eat afterwards. Hey, how you doing? We were just saying, weren't we, it's all looking really great. Really, thanks. What about the breakfast scene, "War is heck", all that stuff? -Right on the money, we thought, didn't we? -Yeah? Most people aren't even going to get it probably but.... No, you know, I actually heard a woman say that on Newsnight during the last US election. You know, this awful woman from the State Department who was banging on about the case for Iraq. And it was so quick, it was like, you know, how you kind of just freeze, like, "Did she really say that or did I imagine it?" I mean, I think I'm probably the only person in the country who picked up on it. So, what do you think? She's actually serious about this man. Talk about shock. I do feel for you. But, the thing is, you have to somehow... find a way out of it and let go of all that torment and analysis. I know I sound like one of those West Coast self-help books. But that's because there's one I've just been reading... The Power of Now, if you really start to listen to what he's saying, that you've got to try and focus on the present, because that's actually all we've got, and spiritually try and lose all that mental baggage.... Any poppadoms, sir? Madam, for you? Would you like plain or spicy? Plain, thank you. -And spicy for me, please. -Spicy, for sir. Thank you. I know, it's interesting you said all that because once I went away and started thinking about everything.... How can I put this? The awful thing, or the good thing, depending how you look at it, is that I actually found that I wasn't as shocked or upset as I suppose I should have been. -Oh, really? -Which sort of suggests.... Anything to drink at all? Small cocktail or aperitif? Or, would you like to see our wine list here? -Just a glass of white wine, thank you. -And a pint of lager for me, please. -Lager. -Thank you. You see, there's something that... I'm not sure if you're aware of this, Alice, but when my mother conceived me it was actually about 1 2 months before she met my dad. And so, you know, strictly speaking... I'm not related, by blood, to your side of the family at all. I didn't know that. What I'm trying to say... sometimes, you know, late in the day.... Can I tell you about some of the specials we have today? Right. Yes, thank you. Maybe this will keep till we get home. First we have the prawn jalfrezi, very nice, with a niramish curry and Punjabi.... And the bedroom, which is.... Yes, I see what you mean about the post. Wouldn't want to forget that's there in the middle of the night. No. And this must be the south-facing window you were talking about. Looks out on the river. I bet that's.... Yeah, great when the sun comes up in the morning. You warm enough? I can turn the radiator up a bit. You know, I think I still got a bit of that tuna lodged in here. In that gap next to the upper premolar. But, no, that was a great restaurant, wasn't it? Very nice ambience. So, what are you going to do, do you think, about that old woman's money? Well, I don't know, 'cause, you know, she quite obviously didn't want it to go to them, so.... Maybe I should give it to charity or something. I mean, in deference to her wishes because.... I don't know. What do you think I should do? I think... that you should come and sit down. So, what will she do? Go straight to school tomorrow from her friend's house? Yeah. Her dad will give them both a lift in I imagine. Now, I've actually got some herbal tea here, if you prefer. -Lemon and ginger? -Actually, yes, I will. Thanks. And... that was all very lovely tonight. Thank you, very much. It's no problem. This morning's teacup. You must be feeling better. And a whole basket of laundry still waiting to go in. -You'll be running out of sheets. -Do you mind? Thanks. Yeah. And I know that Julie's really appreciated you being around these last couple of weeks. -I think there's quite a lot of you in her, actually. -Oh, dear. The poor girl. No, it's.... What I was trying to say earlier on that... now I feel, I suppose, released in a way. From Phillipa. It's.... This is gonna sound so callous, calculated, it's not meant to be. I know. It's very hard sometimes. You know, when you just wake up one day... and suddenly find you have feelings for someone you never even knew were there. You don't plan it or legislate for it, it's just.... -Oh, God. -Do you know what I mean? I think I do. You do, don't you, Alice? Because I always thought there was a kind of almost telepathy between the two of us. -Like a sixth sense. -Or maybe just a boring old fifth sense. -Sorry? -We're talking about Janice, aren't we? When did all this start? When she was wiping the chocolate off your shirt or....? I know, it's a complete nightmare. What with the kids and Malcolm and everything. That's all been falling apart, apparently for sometime, so at some point or other they're gonna have to sit down and have a very serious talk. And in the meantime, the two of you have just been.... What? -Around here in the afternoons while he's at work? -You make it sound so sordid. I suppose it is. Anyway. Nice to know the Ysatis was a hit. Perhaps, I'll pass... on that cup of tea. Huh. -What? -No, it's just.... 1 00% nylon, that's.... You really haven't had much luck with women, have you? -Just lately. -And this would be an iron bedstead, then. You've obviously been meeting all the wrong people. Only I'm thinking that too much friction for me at the moment might be a slight problem.... Hey, look. Relax. I'm not gay or narcoleptic, or Catholic or covered in tattoos. I'm just your ordinary, everyday dental surgeon... who happens to think you're very special. I bet you say that to all the guys. Actually, Gil... you're the first man I've ever made love to. So, let's both pray I get it right. GIL: Well, in the immortal words, "Here's another nice mess I've gotten myself into. " All her adult life she's been saving herself for that moment? It's like what's she saying? I'm the man of her dreams? I'm not the man of anyone's dreams. I'm the stuff of nightmares. 'Cause, you know, to look at her, you'd think she was so progressive and contemporary and experienced. And now, she's never had sex before. She probably expects sparks to come flying out of her fingers every time we do it. But then, she's a lovely person, she's warm, intelligent and highly skilled. You should be flattered she wants to be with you. And maybe it'll all work out and she'll turn out to be the love of your life, just the way you wrote it in the show. That whole idea you got from Irene that day about the one human being on earth who's really right for you. Oh, God, Bob and Irene. That's another whole can of worms I've got to open sooner or later. Sorry, Gil, just run that past me again. The World Wildlife Fund. -Yeah, I just thought, you know, it would be.... -That's like pandas, rhinoceroses and tigers? 'Cause I think you said once she always loved cats. -GBP1 7,000. -I mean, it's never enough, obviously. And they do so much great work 'cause you've got these performing bears, in Russia, and they rescue them, you know, and make sure they get a decent quality of life. So, if anyone deserves your mother's money.... The thing is, you've just got to try and snap out of it, Ali. It's not rocket salad. I've told you before. I mean, you read all this stuff about how you're supposed to deal with all your problems. I know. It's all very well in theory. I just wish I didn't get sucked in like that. For one moment, you know, the defences are all down. You think it's all going to have this nice happy ending, well, from my point of view anyway, and then.... Life just kicks you in the teeth...every time. From what you would saying, this other cousin of yours, what's her name, Janice? Sounds like a right drip. I suppose that was a sure sign when you think of it. The clashing clothes of two people who really didn't get on. The worst of it all, he's got no idea obviously, about her and Stephen. And now tonight we're all going off to see this play together at the Lyric. With me just there basically to make the number up. Still wondering whether to give it a miss. That's supposed to be really funny from what I've heard. No, you should definitely go. Get a few drinks down you. At least have a good chuckle. The Daily Mail calls it "a real, riotous rib-tickler". Well, there you are, then. I suppose so, but I don't know. Whenever I go to the theatre to see a comedy, I seem to be the only one there who's not laughing. She'll be here any second. MAN: Oh, for God's sake, give it here.... ~~ [ Man Singing ] ~~ [ Continues ] ~~ [ Ends ] [Jack Narrating ] Every chefknows that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. 'Cause if you don't have that full-force caffeine-nicotine buzz going... there is no way you're gonna be able to tame the chaos... that reigns in the back of the house. - [ Chattering ] - Come on, man! Let's go! Jack.Jack. Okay, the night porter didn't clean the grill, the big blender's broken... and someone crammed my locker full of Spanish pornography again. - I'll look into it. - Thank you. -Jack,Jack,Jack! - Yeah. Jack, three waiters called in sick. Some kind of explosive intestinal- They think I don't know Shakira's in town? Tell 'em I want 'em here yesterday. Major crisis. See Page Six. "Bourdain Snubs Stunning Starlet." Translate that for me. The fabulous Lindsay Lohan was here last night... and you refused to leave the kitchen to say hello. Or so says the Post, which I trust implicitly. I can't be everywhere at once. I didn't even know she was here last night. - Lindsay Lohan wants to say- - If it's not about the food, get out! - [ Screams ] - I was cooking for 1 80 people. I can't be everywhere at once. I'm not the master of time, space and dimension. If I may, your fans are your power base. - You have to stroke your base. - I'm not gonna embrace that metaphor. You will get a second chance to kiss Miss Lohan's ass... when she returns... for her dog. - [ Barking ] - I'm here to cook, not kiss ass. Jack, Pino's on line one. Oh. Kissing ass is part of the job. We're hot right now. It's expected of us. I was expected to be at my own wedding, but guess what. - Where was I? In your kitchen. - When was this now? Don't make this about me. You need to be in the kitchen. I'd be happy to work the room for you,Jack. People don't like you as much as you think. Move. Look, this came down from the Prince of Darkness. It's happening. But don't worry. I put somebody in charge. In which case, I humbly and gratefully accept. - Hey. - Guys, this is Becky. We went to culinary school together. She'll be covering for me. Uh - I - But you're a- She's a- Yes. I pee sitting down. Get over it. - Wait. Becky Sharp from Becky's on Fourth? - Mm-hmm. - I love that place. - Well, thank you. And I love your scarf. Really brings out your vagina. How come I have never thought of that before? [ Grunts ] [ Chuckling ] That's funny. [ Whispering ] How can she be above me? Do you realize she's a woman? - Yes. Why are we whispering? - Because they can hear everything! - She's a topflight chef, Steven. She ran her own restaurant. - Ohhh! I don't care if she's a world-class balloonist... who can whistle "London Bridge Is Falling Down" out of her ass! - This should've been mine! - You're preaching to the choir, buddy. - What? Pino doesn't trust me? - Why would he? You stole his Vicodin. - We don't need another chef. - Yes, we do. We're getting slammed, okay? And I'm just giving her the scut work. You're still my go-to guy, huh? You're my right-hand man. You're the Sundance to my Butch. - Oh, good. So I'm actually in charge. - No. What's she ever done that's so great? Run a failed restaurant? - She probably can't even cook. - Her vagina insult cut me to the quick... but her crumb cake was like a cloud from heaven. Yeah. But it is cake. I mean, who needs cake? Not exactly the pillar of a meal. Are you implying that your fish is more important than my cake? I'm not implying it. I'm stating as fact. Really? Ever heard of a birthday fish? No. Dad ever take you on a caking trip? Oh, no, he didn't. [ Exhales ] Just tell Miss Lohan that I have her dog. No, no, no, I'm not a stalker. I am a fan though. I loved her in- - Hello? Hello? - [ Dog Growling ] Snazzy, the barstool was not put there for your pleasure. There's a Jessica on line one. She says that she's an old friend. Oh, no. Not lameJessica. She just said Jessica. - Hello? - Guess who's in town. - You? - Me! Oh. Okay, I'm heading out there. If you need anything, if there's a crisis, if you have a question- Jack, you're 1 1 feet away. Don't worry. I can handle these animals. - That's what she thinks. - I heard that! [ Laughing ] Girl is like a flipping bat. - Now go be pretty, okay? - Okay. Go, go. We're fine, really. [ Sighs ] Waste of time. Let's get this over with quickly. - Where do I start? - Actually, table eight just sent compliments to the chef. - [ No Audible Dialogue ] - Gotta do what I gotta do. Everyone enjoying themselves tonight? [Jack Narrating ] Every chef will tell you that he feels out of place... ifhe's not sweating over a hot stove. But the truth is you can get used to the sweet life out front pretty damn quickly. I just always had this real need to please people with food. I just think it's, like, uh, a gift that I have, as God made me. Hey, uh, if your father calls... tell him that I'm working the floor like he asked, okay? -Yeah, you're really taking one for the team. -Actually, I'm shooting for two. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. No, I'm not. This table needs a complimentary everything. Get your heads out of your asses. We got two frisees... one torn crab- and fire the sweetbreads. Oops-a-daisy. I'm sorry. It seems I got a little enthusiastic with the coulee. Well, whilst you're licking things- Make it again. - I got your back, bro. - Hmm. Oh-ho! Oh! - [ Popping Sound ] - [ High-Pitched Squealing ] - What the hell was that? - It's called " the shocker." And any of you tools try and touch me again... and you're gonna get one of your own. Hey, I'm used to being the only woman in the kitchen... so back off or bend over. - Oh. - Raise your hand if you got a semi right now. Semi-what? You don't actually like that thing, do you? Oh, I know. I wish I didn't 'cause it so fits into the stereotype. But the truth is this poofy little dog has won my heart. - I love you. - You guys... when my friend Jessica shows up tomorrow, please be gentle, okay? Ooh, what's wrong with her? Oh, does she wear the big shoe? She's not a freak, okay? She's just a bit of an outcast. You know, could never get a boyfriend. She was kind of like my project, my mascot. I tried to teach her how to be cool. I'm gonna give you guys 20 minutes for questions and answers. So keep them short and, hopefully, sweet. And you can roll starting now. I'll introduce him in five... thousand... four... thousand, three... thousand, two. Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States. Welcome. Good afternoon. Please. - Thank you for coming here on such short notice. - Laine Hanson, from Ohio. As I embarked on the task of selecting a vice president... I was driven by the emotion of wanting to make a choice... that would've made Troy Ellard, my friend, proud. Senator Laine Billings Hanson of Ohio is that person. Sherri, you are first. Ms. Hanson, do you feel being a woman played any type of role in the president's decision? Well, I, uh... First I would like to say... what an honor it is to be here before you in this position. And I hope to serve up to the standards which President Evans set for me in that introduction. Thank you so much, sir. To answer your question... - First rate, Mrs. Hanson. - Thank you. I learned a lot from Will. Ah, yes, Will. You, sir, are gonna have to make yourself scarce. - No, of course. I'll give you your privacy. - No, I mean scarce. During the confirmation period, I want you out of sight. - Pardon me? - A wife there behind her husband... is perceived as supportive. A husband following around behind his wife is perceived as a puppeteer. - But I think... - No, honey. I think Mr. Newman's right on. Let Hollis handle the day-to-day... - and I'll be the man behind the curtain. - Where do we go from here? The FBI's gonna have to do an extensive background check. - Director Friend will handle the investigation. - Yes, we made sure of that. Just about every aspect of your life will be uncovered. Your bank accounts, your medical reports. - What am I forgetting? - Correspondence to government agencies, speeches... When Nelson Rockefeller was confirmed, they had over 300 agents working on him. They had a lot more life and cash to investigate, huh? We'll do our own background check in case anything falls through the cracks, to be safe. At the same time, the House will... Come in. The House will put together its bipartisan subcommittee... of the Judiciary to interview you and advise and consent to your nomination. Shelly Runyon's running the show there. Cheyenne, Wyoming, you're on with Vice President Designate Laine Hanson. - Larry, how are you? - I'm fine. Thanks for calling. I just wanted to say to the senator that... all of Cheyenne is with her. We think she's absolutely great for the country and this administration. - Congratulations. - What's the question, sir? I wanted to ask the senator, if she could pick one person from history... to serve as her model for how to behave in office, who would that be? Good question, Senator. Hey, guys. Nice to see you. - Sorry to barge in on you. - No, no, no, no. I'm just watching your girl. - First female prime ministers? - They were great leaders. Would you put Thatcher in that category? No, I don't think so. - You know what? I would have to say Thomas Jefferson. - A man? - She's something, isn't she? - I don't really know her. We served together a few years ago, and, I guess... we just ended up in different company. - Take a seat. - Congressman, the president asked us to come down here. He'd like to let you know he'd appreciate your support in the senator's confirmation. - Really? - He asked me directly, Shell. But the president didn't consider it important enough to ask me personally? You know it's important. It's the old man's swan song. Putting a woman in office means something to him. Laine Hanson's the absolute best choice. You don't believe that. Come on. You're too smart. Look, I don't mind she's a woman... but I'm not confirming a woman just because she's a woman. Laine Hanson has an extra burden. She's has to come on the world stage with perfect credentials. Margaret Thatcher didn't have perfect credentials. The world respected her. The world accepted Margaret Thatcher because they knew she had to answer to Ronald Reagan. A woman better be pretty damn qualified to have nobody to answer to... and Laine Hanson is not that. Look me in the eyes and tell me... that Laine Hanson is your first choice for the vice presidency. Laine Hanson is my absolute first choice. I'd so want you in my poker game. Country needs a smooth confirmation. The president needs a smooth confirmation. The country needs a competent vice president. Excuse me a minute. There's only one person in the world that has that phone number. So who's the second choice? We haven't really settled on anybody yet. Tell me, if Laine Hanson were to be hit by a flying car... who would the president then select? I think the president still likes Jack Hathaway, Congressman. You know... Jack Hathaway, there's a good man... for a Democrat. There's a man I would say would have... a smooth confirmation. - Jack Hathaway? - Smooth as a baby's ass. - He's already taken himself out of it, so... - Right. Right! Well, who the hell knows? Perhaps Lainey will shock the world... by pulling out her brilliance... and erudition at the hearings that none of us know she has. So, Shelly, can we ask for basic fairness? - Fifty-fifty, Democrat and Republican at the hearings? - Of course you can. Congressman! Congressman! Mr. Runyon. Just wanted to steal you for a second. I'm Reg Webster. - Oh, you're one of Stoney's boys? - Uh, no. You staff or intern? Actually I'm a representative. Reginald Webster of Delaware. Oh, fuck me. I'm sorry, Webster. What can I do for you? - I'm running late. - I was hoping I could grab your attention for a second. - What's the skinny? - Well, uh... - I'm late, Mr. Webster. - I understand a chair's opened up in the committee... and I'd like to put my name forward. I believe you'll find me industrious and hardworking. The Judiciary's for senior members. Wheeling was in for five terms before we let him in. My hands are tied. There's nothing I can do. Shelly, I've been trying to reach you for five days. - I left you 32 messages. - Well, leave me a 33rd. - Where you from? - Delaware. Oh, yeah, you were... You knocked Emory Bettis out. Emory used to be in the Thursday night game. He was always good for a few hundred bucks. I guess he ran his campaign like he played poker. I take it you have a predisposition. - About the confirmation, I mean. - No. Actually, I'm 100% objective. - Mmm. Do you have a dictionary, Mr. Webster? - Yeah. Take a Magic Marker, cross out the word "objectivity." Your constituents want you for your opinions, your philosophy... for your subjectivity. Laver has to duck out of the way of that one. One that Laver can't get. He's still trying to recover. And he zings another powerful forehand past Laver. See that, Tim-Tim? Know what we call that? - We call that topspin. You know how we get topspin? - Uh-huh. - Yeah? Tell me. - 'Cause Baby Jesus made topspin. What? - Baby Jesus gave it topspin. - Jesus? Ah! Why do you say that? - Because Baby Jesus made everything. - Yeah? Who told you that? Miss Moyer in kindergarten, and Mommy says... - I have to listen Miss Moyer. - Wow, this is news to me. I gave up my career trying to strike that nonsense out of the public school system. Maybe I ought to put him in public school, then. Remember what I told you about moving your grip down... - and to the left? - Uh-huh. - Go see if Dad's found his bathing suit yet. - Gimme a hug. Yeah. Thanks, champ. - They are paid to teach, not... - To preach. I know, but he's six years old, and he also believes in the tooth fairy... - and that George Washington never told a lie. - Well, it drives me crazy. - Mary, wanna turn the ball machine off? - Yes, Mr. Governor. Thanks for seeing me, Dad. - Why wouldn't I see you? - Partisanship. I gotta love at least one Democrat. You know, Dad, I'm getting some reports that you might not be ready to back me. That you're opposed to my confirmation... - You've heard quotes? - No, I haven't heard. Just that we should expect to be reading of your opposition. Pardon my Swahili, but you're being led a line of pure bullshit. - I haven't said a word. - Maybe it's just that. Maybe you've been quiet. - I hate the press. - I know, Dad. - When I left the mansion, I swore I would never talk to them. - I remember. - I suppose you're gonna force my hand on this, huh? - You wouldn't have to say much. - Just a little something. - Okay, okay. I, uh... I'll call back Joe Glynn at the Times. He's okay. He'll write it up well. I once leaked him some shit about Buchanan. Damn near won him the Pulitzer. - Thanks, Dad. - Sure. Thanks. What would you do, or have done, in my case? Well, when your president asks you to jump... it's hard not to jump, that's for sure. But you remember what Ben Franklin said about the vice presidency. What did he say? I didn't talk to him this week. He said he ought to be addressed as "Your Superfluous Excellency." In the past ten years, I've enjoyed the kind of power the vice presidency can't offer. Why would anybody want to give that up? Am I crazy? Baby, power is where power goes. - Think you can beat me? - Uh, yeah. Okay. Hey, Tony! Foul! Can't trust those fuckin' people. Speaking of which, Mr. Webster, it turns out you're a Democrat. I, uh, wasn't keeping it a secret. Sad to say, I don't think I can bring you aboard the committee, son. Ray Spies makes all the decisions regarding the other party. - It's a courtesy. - But not a requirement. - It's not, that's true. - If Ray Spies interviewed me... he'd refuse to put me on the committee even for a minute... because he'd find out that when it comes to Laine Hanson... I went to my dictionary and crossed off the word "objectivity." Are you suggesting Mrs. Hanson may not be your first choice for vice president? I'm suggesting that Laine Hanson has stricken our party with policies and attitudes... that are best served across the aisle from where she came. I take it, like most members of your party... your selection would be Governor Hathaway. Governor Hathaway's a great man. He's a visionary, a bona fide hero. - But he withdrew his name from consideration. - Minds can be changed. - How much discretion can I count on from you? - A hundred percent, sir. - Even from your own leadership? - I said a hundred percent. Good. Good man. Good man. I think if I make the rounds, do the Sunday morning talk shows... raise the level of the game a bit, outtalk her on the issues... Issues? What kind of fucking campaigns are they running in Virginia? Not the kind I'm used to. Jack, this whole thing with the girl drowning... It's bullshit! - I was there, Shelly. The president told me himself. - It's an excuse. Jackson Evans has chosen to make putting a woman in office his swan song. Laine Hanson is the only reasonable choice in your party. He's not going with Boxer. She's too liberal. He's not going with Jones because she's older than he is. - There's Winslet. - She's not coming off the Supreme Court. Laine Hanson is attractive. She's a looker. The mere fact that she was a Republican means that she can't be too far to the left. It's a perfect pedigree. We can't get you in by convincing him you're the right man for the job. We have to convince him that she's wrong. Once we do that, you're in. And Toliver, he's as much as told me... I'm not going for a low blow. It's not my way. You won't have to. We have to go after her. We have to make her wade in her own blood. - Who did you say you were? - I'm Makerowitz. - Makerowitz. - I'm sorry. That doesn't mean much to me. - Web got somebody... - A friend of the Hathaway campaign. Who is footing the not-too-unimpressive bill of Mr. Makerowitz. Private citizen wants to do their own investigation... What exactly are you trying to find out? Campaign irregularities, bribes? - Isn't that the FBI's responsibility? - Yes, it is. But the FBI would not find anything. All of her money is tied up in blind trusts. The kind of improprieties you're talking about, I think that only helps her. Personally, I think the nation would be relieved to know that just because she's a woman... - it doesn't mean she can't be as ruthless as the rest of us. - Governor? You ever stabbed a man in the navel? You? Me? No, I haven't. Stab a man in the navel, and that's all she wrote. Bleeding is so swift and severe, it wouldn't matter if Jesus put His healing hand on the wound... the bastard is dead. We have to gut the bitch in the belly. We all have to understand, we're going to obliterate her life... but it will get you the vice presidency. - Hey, Dog! - Lewis, how you doin'? Wow, that's a plate of food! You didn't have to dress up for me. I had to accompany the senator to the Gridiron Lunch. If John Q. Public could see the money that the knuckleheads that run this country... spend on these lunches, there would be a second revolution. I'm telling you, there is some money spent on these stupid lunches. - What is this? - It's the reason you're here. You can't let anybody know where you got this from. If Runyon found out I gave this to you... he'd fire me, and I don't want him as an enemy. That's Lainey Hanson getting gang-banged. Looks like something out of Hustler. That's her for sure. I know it's hard to tell with her... her face in someone's crotch... but that's her, man. Why are you showing me this? I will not be party to an ambush. Why are you showing me this, Ted? Okay. I want out of Runyon's office. And I thought maybe you could get me on staff... This is the best you could come up with? This shit? This is shit. Read the deposition of the LaVamere lady. She was putting on a sex show. - How long did this go on for? - It was hours. - How many hours? - Three or four. Which one? Three or four? Three, I guess. In her defense, she was drunk. To be honest, once she finished fucking and sucking those two assholes... she was carried into another room, and boys were going in and out of there... but I don't know if she was fucking them. When she came out, she was covered in cum. It was awful. Excuse me, Counselor. I, um... - May I? - Of course. Just to clarify, why exactly was Mrs. Laine Hanson... Strike that. Laine Billings involved in this, uh... appalling and disgusting behavior? - That's... That's what's important. - Exactly. Thank you. It's great to see you guys. There you go. Thank you so much for your support. Thank you. Thank you. - Hey. - Hey, Madam Senator. - How you doing? - I'm okay. I wish you'd heard the speech. That line you gave me about... "If we can put a man on the moon, then why can't we put all men on the moon?" It was perfect. It really broke the ice. - Great audience for that, huh? - Yeah, it was great. What's goin' on? Uh... well, it looks like Runyon or somebody close to him... has been running a little private investigation... looking for stuff that the Feds wouldn't even touch. - It's, um... - Yeah? What is it? What... - He doesn't know anything about it. - You're asking me to step down? I'm asking you to do what's in the best interest of the party... and this president. Well, I'm sorry. I can't do it, not over this. He's not going to allow me or himself... to get shot down over what would've been a private sexual encounter. - Some swan song for the old man, huh? - It's fuckin' awful. The senator got a little wild when she was 19. What is the big deal? Let me explain the big deal to you. The people of this nation can stomach quite a bit. But one thing they can't stomach is the image of a vice president with a mouthful of cock. You don't have to use... Look. Let's use the word "alleged." They got photos! They got witnesses! They got the "alleged" slut... Hey! Let me tell you something. I'm her husband first. I don't tolerate talk like that. - Will, calm down. - You better get used to it, Will. Especially when not even your wife will defend herself. Give me something, Laine. Anything. Hell, just deny it. Why don't you just deny it? It is simply beneath my dignity. Dignity! Right. We'll just have to make this all not worthwhile for Mr. Runyon. What have you got on the distinguished gentleman from Illinois? Some pretty good stuff. - S.E.C. Investigation, 1985. - You got stocks? I want something embarrassing! Something sexual! Little boys, midgets, that sort of thing. - Cows! I don't give a goddamn! - Come on, Kermit. If we do that, we're no better than he is. We are no better than he is. There's nothing there. He got married when he was 21. There's no evidence he ever cheated on his wife. Too bad we're not running in France. We could really nail him on that one. When do you have your lunch with him? With Shelly Runyon? I'm not having lunch with him. Friday, 1:00. It's scheduled tomorrow. It's automatic. He's committee chairman. It was set up. S.O.P. - Laine. - Shelly. I'm sorry I started. You were late. - I'm not too late, I hope. - A minute or two. - Were you tied up with anything? - No, sorry. I'm just late. - Hi, Clem. You too. - Senator, nice to see you. - I ordered you the porterhouse. - No, I don't eat meat. - I'll have the penne. - You should really... Mmm. - Try the steak. Ask Hugo to burn it on the outside. - No, thank you. I really don't eat meat. I'll just go ahead with the penne. - Spicy? - Yes, please. Thanks. So, how are... Will and the boy? Let's forego the small talk today, Shelly. - It'll make me feel cheap. - Let the big talk begin. Have you seen this? That's my... That's my file on you, Senator. - Mm-hmm. - How did you get it? Have you read it yet? How did you get it? Have you read it? - What do you have to say for yourself? - With all due respect... um, Senator... - it doesn't matter what I have to say for myself. - Oh, it doesn't? It seems to me, Mr. Chairman, all you can claim about me... claim, is that I had sex... - Deviant sex. - Who says it was deviant? I do. And what I say, the people will believe. And you know why? Because I'll have a very big microphone in front of me. Wow, you must really hate me, Shelly. I don't hate you. It's not possible to hate you. You're... What the hell was it that Reynolds called you the other day? Groovy. You're a groovy chick. No, what I, um, do detest is your selfishness. I have served this nation without regard for personal income for over ten years. You are selfish because you want to take on a job that positions you to assume... a mantle of gigantic responsibility... and you do it full well with the knowledge... Of what? What? Greatness is the orphan of urgency, Laine. Greatness only emerges when we need it most... in times of war or calamity. I can't ask somebody to be a Kennedy or a Lincoln. They were men created by their times. What I can ask for is the promise of greatness. And that, Madam Senator... you don't have. Well, then... I just wouldn't be using sex as leverage... if I were you, Sheldon. Because there's one thing you don't want. It's a woman with her finger on the button who isn't getting laid. Will that be the argument the senator offers up before the committee? Sir? Can I get you something to drink? - Uh, no, I'm fine. Thank you. - You sure? No, great. Thanks a lot. - Ah, Mr. Webster. - Mr. President. - Good to see you. - It's an honor, sir. - I've been meaning to have you up here for some time. - Really? Excuse me. Willie? Thank you, Willie. Yeah, you betcha. You unseated that old bastard Bettis. He must've voted against me 70 percent of the time. You know what this is? That's a shark steak sandwich. Fucking shark steak. - You want half? - Uh, no, thank you. - Are you a vegan? Had lunch? - No. Uh... So you choose not to break bread with the president of the United States? Thank you. When I was in the Senate, Bettis could always be counted to leave half a grand at the poker table. Always stayed in, never folded. Always wanted that miracle card. - That's good, isn't it? - Mm-hmm. Now, Truman, he was a poker player. Damn fine one, as I understand it. Son, I understand you may be making a mess of our plans... to put Laine Hanson into the vice president mansion. Right now, sir, I cannot see supporting Laine Hanson. - How old are you? - Me, I'm 28. And at that age and experience, you think you're the one to sit and judge Mrs. Hanson? Well, that's the whole point, isn't it? I am, sir. Mr. Webster, I'm asking you to lay off... as a personal favor. It's one thing to break ranks and vote against my candidate... but to actively attack her from the bench, that's another. Mr. President, I just don't believe in Laine Hanson... especially when we have at our disposal Governor Hathaway. He's a party loyalist and genuine hero. And I cannot and shall not vote for a candidate simply because she's a woman. I am nothing if I do not follow my heart, sir. I envy you. I do. You know why? Because someday, years from now, you're gonna come in here with your family... and you're gonna look up at my painting... and you'll be able to say to them, your kids and grandkids... "Way back then I defied my president. It cost me my reelection, kept me out of politics forever. I was on the track to maybe one day end up here... destined to make the kind of changes in this country... that only great men, given the right time and place, can make... and I have none of that now, but that's okay... because I did what was in my heart." The heart, it can never be wrong, can it, Mr. Webster? Mmm. Delicious. You got a little... Hi. I'm Jack Hathaway. How are you? Hi, sir. Um... Ow. I'm Special Agent Willomina. Sure is good of you to meet me. It's a pleasure. How can I help you? I know you're busy, so this will be as routine as it gets. - Did my girl offer you coffee or something to drink? - Oh, yes, she did. She was very nice, your girl. Yes, she is. She's very nice. So like I said, I just want to cross a couple of T's, little stuff. It's all just part of the process. By the way, sir, I was real impressed with your graciousness... - on the whole Senator Hanson thing. - Oh? You know, in supporting her. Real gracious. Well, as you know, I withdrew my name from consideration. Right. Right. And I think she's a real fine choice. Anybody that knows her knows that. How long have you known her? - Oh, well, actually, I don't really... - I'm sorry. When you said, "Anybody that knows her"... - I know people who know her. - Uh-huh. - I'm happy to give you their names, if you'd like. - Great. I don't really know her, but I've seen her several times at functions... and, uh, I think she'll do a real good job. Sir, can I just say that... I was really hoping you'd go for the position... especially after what happened on the Apachaway. I think people would think, in the back of their minds... "This here's a guy who takes risks when the right thing's at stake." - Lifesaver? - No, thanks. Anyway, some real bad luck, your being right there. Not if I'd been able to save her. No, no, in the crabbing area. It's just that you were fishing for bass, so... That probably explains why we didn't catch anything. You fish in the Apachaway a lot, so I thought that you would know that, but... I don't fish a lot. - I thought your equipment was pretty sophisticated, but... - There's a difference... between wanting to fish and having time to fish. Tell me about it. - And he freed the slaves and won the Civil War. - That's right! He was probably our greatest president. - Even greater than George Washington? - It's a running debate. - Laine Hanson. - Oh, Mr. President. And you must be one Timothy Hanson. Timothy Muskie Hanson. Well, Timothy Muskie Hanson, how would you like a great big cookie? Any kind. - No, thank you. - Any kind at all. Oatmeal, white chocolate... Actually, we just had dinner, but thanks. In that case, shall we have our picture taken, young man? Hmm? - How do I look? - Your tie's a little crooked. Well, can't take a picture like that. Will you straighten it for me? Your mommy tells me you know more about the presidents than most grown-ups. - I like to study them. - Mmm! Me too. I think we're ready for business, Dennis. - Sir. - You must be very proud of your mom. Yeah, being the vice president is better than being the president. Oh, I'm sure you're right. 'Cause nobody wants to shoot the vice president. So, you must be feeling pretty excited about now. Please sit. - Hmm? - Well, I think I'm a little nervous. Well, good! Good. Night before a confirmation hearing. Anything else, I would've withdrawn your name. - What about this Webster, sir? - Ah, one second. Anybody here hungry? - No, thanks. - No, sir, I'm not. Thanks. Otto, could you whip up some Kung Pao chicken, but with walnuts? No problem, sir. Ah, the kid. Met him. You know this young congressman, Webster? No, sir, I don't. No matter. He reminds me of me when I was his age. That's bad. K, you need to put out word that no matter what this kid does... nobody's to give him a hard time. He's misguided, but he's got something. And one day, who knows? All right, sir. I'm sure the senator can handle Mr. Webster. There is one concern we need to... Oh, right, concern. Laine? K told me about your little sexual romp in college. Shit. Tomorrow is the 17th. - Glenda? - Yes, sir? Tomorrow is Jacobson's birthday. Have you got something for the son of a bitch? Yes, sir. You got him a leather-bound Don Quixote. Oh, good. Good gift. Metaphorical gift. He'll be trying to figure out why I got him that forever. Ah, were you married at the time? Uh, I was a freshman in... You know, sir, I'm just not going to comment on the whole thing. It's beneath me and it's beneath the press. That's the way to go. Fuck the press. Senator Hanson does not kiss and tell. - It's perfect. - Maybe I was too rough on Shelly in Hartford. Then this would all be moot, 'cause you wouldn't be president, sir. You know what? Married, unmarried, One guy, two guys, the whole football team. Who the fuck cares? You just look those bastards in the eye and tell them exactly that. These guys, they're gonna confirm you. But they want to embarrass you in the process. They want to send you into this administration as a virus. So you have only one choice. - Yes, sir? - Don't... be embarrassed. Two hours, gentlemen. It is now up to us to light the spark... which will result in a moral uprising, so that we may have... a new birth of national honesty... and decency. And sometimes in this process... you will question even yourselves. And that's good, that's healthy. For what are we if we are not what we believe? Laine Hanson... is a cancer. A cancer of liberalism. A cancer of disloyalty. Her nomination itself is the cancer of affirmative action. What we will sing with voices stentorian... is that she is the cancer of virtuous decay. Clausewitz said that war is the natural extension of politics. But politics is also the extension of war. They are one and the same. In this war, there will be casualties. But so help me God... not among us. Senator, could we have a word? The president canceled his golf game with me. - He always cancels his golf game. Don't worry about it. - Not with me. - Kermit, can I talk to you a second? - We'll talk later. They'rehome, they're watching, they're proud. Lewis, this is it. Thank you. Order. Order. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Sheldon B. Runyon from the great state of Illinois. It is my privilege and my honor... to serve as the chairman of these special hearings. We are here today for only the third time in our history... to ensure the proper implementation of the 25th amendment... and for the first time... the House has taken on that responsibility. Myself and my esteemed colleagues are determined... to ensure that this very important matter be handled with... expedition and dignity. We are proud to welcome our friend and colleague, Laine Hanson. Madam Senator, I welcome you. Thank you, Mr... Thank you, Mr. Chairman. Will the "gentlelady" from Ohio please rise and raise your right hand? Madam Senator, do you swear to tell the truth... the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God? - I do. - Please be seated. Mr. Chairman, point of order. The Chair recognizes Mr. Webster of Delaware. Mr. Chairman, I direct your attention to page 16... tab C-25 of the ledger, a transcript of the Q-and-A session... between the nominee and several students from Harvard University. - Page 16? - Page 16 at the bottom of the page. You'll see the following remarks in reference to a question... regarding the separation of church and state. The nominee said, and I quote, "The separation exists... because we cannot have a fairy tale govern a nation." What, sir, is the point? The senator just swore an oath to an entity she does not believe in. Madam Senator, you understand... that you have promised to be truthful to this committee? - And that lying to this body is perjury, punishable by law? - Yes, I do understand that. Well, I think we're all agreed... that even though the senator has shown a disdain... for religion and those practicing it... which is her constitutional right... that does not necessarily, Mr. Webster, make her a liar. I'm confident we can proceed. - Madam? - Yes? For the record, would you state your name and address? Yes. My name is Laine Hanson. My address is... Youcanjustdothat , pull phone records? Iwork for a pretty powerful guy. Yeah,we'reclose, we were close for a while. That's till recently, of course. Our career paths sort of went in different directions. At least you have your life. There's nothing sinister going on here. At this point, we just need... to look at every aspect of her life and find everyone that knew her. You never know what you're gonna find. - Did you find anything? - No, no, not really. Not really? You mean... A little bit, actually. I did speak to other classmates, and they told me she was pretty wild. Wild? Yeah, she was wild. Wild enough you can be sure the tabloids are gonna have a field day. Have you spoken to them? Um, me? No. But somebody somewhere's gonna talk. - But not you. - Uh-uh, no. - It's okay if you have. We're not gonna lock you up. - No, I haven't. So no one like, maybe, the National Enquirer... or one of those silly television programs... - that show, um... Access... - Confidential? No, no, no. I don't know anything. The last time I talked to her it was just, "The kid this, the kid that." According to our records, you spoke to her on the 15th. - Three weeks ago? - Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. I... She was going to Vegas. Oh, is that right? Vegas? She asked me to go along with her. It was gonna be her treat. I couldn't go because I had to work. We were gonna stay at one of those ritzy new places. The, um, Bellage..? - The Bellagio? Right. - Yeah. - With the contortionist. - I've never been. You've been going through my desk. It never crossed my mind when I was a younger woman... that I'd be this age and not have kids. Somehow in my mind, kids. Raising them, making them good people. That's what I wanted. Then I met you, and I realized that I'd be... trading my dreams so that we could live yours. We sacrificed all of that so we could do good. We have done good. I was never prouder when you fought to make hate crimes a capital and federal offense. You stood so tall, defying the world, and you won. It was then that I realized that all of our sacrifices were not in vain... that you were a good man. And now, everything you have ever achieved will be eliminated... because, with this horrible filth... you'll go down as a second-rate Joe McCarthy. Your problem, Shelly, is that you have no sense of history. She's no good. Come on! Come on. See, Daphne? This is how you get to the top. Lew? Lew? Ihavean issuetospeakof, and I'm most gravely concerned. If this body will indulge me, I have before me... a perfect example of the need for this institution... to pass the Internet Libel Protection Act. In the Nichols Report piece... posted to 40 million Internet subscribers... it is claimed that you, Senator... were involved in a sexual imbroglio while in college. That is... trading favors... with several partners in exchange for entry into a sorority. Though I will not waste the committee's time with such... nefarious and sleazy innuendoes... I will not deny the senator her right to respond. Mr. Chairman, I have nothing to... I will not respond to this article. I say "Bravo" to you, Senator. Bravo to you. First let me state... that I encourage every American... and every citizen on this planet to boycott... the Nichols Report. This is the type of filth and degenerate pornography... that should not see the light of day. I can only assume, Senator, that you will... not only bring suit against the perpetrators of... but also against the remarkable look-alike who appears in these disgusting photos. And when you do file suit, know that it comes with my full support. Your refusal to deny this report of sexual deviance... will not have an effect on this committee... on whether or not it votes to advise and consent to your nomination. Mr. President, do you have a comment on the allegations made on the Internet today? I'm not gonna discuss any allegations, especially those on the Internet. But, sir, the sexual allegations were made very public today by Congressman Runyon. And I'm sure he quite regrets that. Sir, if you agree with the allegations, or agree the allegations are accurate... do you think that Senator Hanson is morally fit to take office? I'll tell you what. I'm sure that President Mateo and I... would both welcome the votes of only those people... with sexual indiscretions in their past. We'd be landslide victors every time. Hey, Sheila. - They've been waiting for you for about ten minutes. - Okay. Hey. - Henry, I gotta talk to you in five minutes, okay? - Okay. How about "Her involvement in prostitution"? No, no. You gotta couch it like it's something... for the FB... the AG to investigate. - Hi, Reggie. - Hi. Well, how about, "How embarrassing it is... - that the..." No, no, no. - Who... - What? - Where's Gilmore? - Gilmore. - Um, Idaho? Iowa? Can I interrupt for one second? We're all set with America Live. What are you guys talking about? We're just going over our statement... in response to The Washington Post story. - What story? - The one that says the secret investigation is ongoing... to determine whether she accepted money... for her activities in college. I didn't hear about this. Well, it's, uh... It's, um... It'll be in... tomorrow afternoon's edition. Just in time for the congressman to make his statement... and just in time for it to stick in the minds of Americans over the weekend. Wh... What's the source? Where'd they get the story? - Unnamed sources close to the investigation. - I see. Al. - Al! - Yes? We can, um... Let's... Let's dot the I's, cross the T's on this one later. All right, thank you. I, uh... I think I have some self-righteous indignation coming my way. Well, is there any truth whatsoever to the story? - There will be an investigation. - She's gonna have the truth on her side. - She's gonna deny it and make us all look like fools. - Let her. Let her deny just that part of the story. - Hold here. - What? Oh. That's all right. I can do that myself. Yeah. Thank you. - America Live is not in the circus business. - Pete's always fair. Should I hear anything in this? You're gonna be vice president. - You'll talk about legitimate issues of concern. - Right. Where is the senator's monitor? There is no monitor for her. She'll hear Pete in the earpiece. That is a piece of shit. We talked about this, Ray. If Peter's gonna be able to see her, she has to be able to see him. - He's got a sensory advantage over her. - You wanna pull her? I'm not talking about pulling her. I'm just saying it's bullshit. She was just great in the hearings today. Cool and collected. - Steve Poullet. - Hi. Should I hear anything? Oh, I got it. Okay, great. Oh, it's that one. Yeah, I know. Can't hear... Yeah, right, got it. Okay, I've got the intro now. Thank you for having me, Peter. Sure, that'd be fine. Well, it has been a taxing experience... but if we're forced to take the voters out of the equation... I think that the vetting system by simple necessity must be arduous. Mmm. I have to plead motherhood on that one, Pete... but I not only served on the Foreign Relations Committee... I sponsored the Hanson-Fineman Bill which readjusted the War Powers Act... to allow the executive to respond to state-sponsored terrorism... like that of Iraq, Libya, North Korea, for instance. But rather than boring you with my résumé... I'd rather answer your questions on specific issues of foreign policy. I suppose I could ask you, Mr. Crenshaw, how you'd feel in the same situation. Why would I answer that for you? Sorry. It's simply a privacy issue. Look, I won't address issues of sexuality in a hearing room... or on national television or anywhere else for that matter. - Where's the control room for America Live? I'm so proud of you. I've been boasting to the forest fairies I'm marrying a devil who works and they're so envious they stopped talking to me. If you wanna get married, find somebody else. I'm too busy for such tomfoolery. Who? There's no other young spook around! That one, that one at the mansion, marry the Duke, he's a fine spook. The one from Netolice? No, wait... Jean, bring me a window, I want to look in the garden. Now you know? Come quickly, sit down. Now watch! There we are, your Grace. A fine red wine. Delicious. I can't see! The mirror! It's gone! But there's plenty more where that came from. Jean. You licked off the cream! Your Grace, how can you... This is yummy. Yummy, and you could be having that all day! _Me,? A' es'! - Is that him? - Yeah! A looker, isn't he? Jean, what's happening? Jean! My hair flew away! His hair comes off! You look good in anything. Just look at him! He's real handsome. My hair! - We'll set things right. - Right! I bet those monsters at the mill are in on this. Get away, you monsters! I'm off to investigate. Such a draft again! You do it on purpose! My poor head! The pain'll kill me. At least it'll be over, without Elisa I have nothing. I'm a lonely and deserted orphan... - No, you have me! - Exactly. Don't worry, your Grace. I'm here to help you. Who are you, an apparition? The ghost of aunt Bertha Gloria. Ghost, my foot. I'm a kind fairy, come to help you. Ooops, isn't this fun! We don't need any help. As you like. But I know what bothers you. Maybe I know how to make Elisa more respectful. Don't be scared, silly, am I a spook or what? ! Definitely not, dear lady. You can look me up in the caves under the old castle. But come alone! Leave this type at home. - Can I have another slide? -No. - What a bold-faced hussy. -A witch! Wait here, I'm going on alone. And leave me here, in the wilderness? I'll die of terror! If I don't return, carve on my gravestone - For his passionate love hath he died a dreadful death. Goodbye, good servant. The wine. Oh, horrors! High time, your Grace. So Elisa doesn't want you, and you a Duke? She might want you if you looked like Henry. A young helper come to serve at the mill? Young, you said? I'll give you the likeness of your choice. - How can I repay you? - I don't want anything, but if you don't win Elisa within three full moons, the magic'll wane. You'll have your old moniker again and I'll choose a Lady for your mansion. Three full moons? When she lays eyes on me she'll forget Henry and throw herself in my arms. Just think of all the hardship in store for you! The hard work will kill you. That witch foretold deeds worthy of my heroic ancestors. I'll earn the favours of the lady of my head. Lady? ls the girl worth it? So many high-born ladies were ready to care for you. But there's only one Elisa. You'll have to walk the rest of the way... and such a way! No more la French, now you're a commoner. And you must walk like this... I see. Like this? That's it, your Grace. Like a folk hero! What's that? Damned dog! What's that? Crazy swans... help... Murder! Shot in the back! She's high and dry, poor thing. Whatcher doing? Not water, no! It's water she needs! Help! Somebody's coming! Horrible monster, go away! What are you doing? You'll cripple her! She was swimming when I came. Swimming? Don't cry. - The yokel. What is it you want? I'm a miller's apprentice, I'm looking for work. I mean for a roof over my head... Where did you work last? Here and there and everywhere! I know who he is, Froggy! I heard you need a helper, so I came. We do, but are you any good? You don't look like a hard worker to me. But I am! And I can sing and dance! It's him, I smellt him, it's him! - You wait! - You... Haven't we met before? You look familiar. Impossible. We have a new helper, what do you think? Why, daddy? I can get my work done. I don't want a stranger around. Beautiful E- er, you'd work herself to death you need a helper I can do all sons of things, you won't be sorry. All right. We'll give him a try. There's plenty to do, even with our two helpmates. A devil and watersprite, like in every real mill. We didn't scare him. What's your name? Well, in Germany they call me Johann And here Honza. That's what we call our pig! Well, Johann, you can sleep above the pigsty. - The nights are warm. - It's him. Above the pigsty? Is there no bedroom - er some tiny room? There isn't. All right, I'm used to hardship on my travels. Go and turn the hay, up by the wood. I'll feed Terry and then I'll help you. There's a rake, the meadow above the chapel. He never killed himself working! Good, he's here, so we can keep an eye on him. And we'll pay him back for his trouble. We'll scare him out of his wits. If he doesn't behave, just call us! What are you up to, Honza? You're slow! Would you call me Johann? You already have a...er - the pig Honza. As you like, Johann. I'm glad I came at the right time. You can't do it all alone, poor girl. I'm not alone - I have my Henry. What's that? You wait! So those palace rascals are still bothering you. With God's help I'll be home soon to protect you. A thousand greetings to you, Terry, Dad, Furface and Watersprite, from your loving Henry. The main thing is he's alive and well. Where does it say greetings to Furface and Watersprite? Here. He never forgets us. Give him our love too. Of course, and I'll say how you help me. Come, let's feed you. You need a rest after your long flight. But I'm not alone, really. The Duke sent Henry away to fight the Turk. The Turk? But nobody came back alive! That's what the Duke thinks, that ghastly ugly wretch. Ghastly? Ugly'? The nastiest under the sun. He's mean to everyone. But he'll meet a just end, such a type always does. But they praise him in town! Our Duke? Must be some mistake. The Count in Netolice maybe, he's a wonderful person. But our Duke is proud and evil, just about ripe for hell. - Stop it! - Don't you like our food? Honza's used to better things - on his travels. Johann! Not Honza! How about a nice roast chicken with sage stuffing? Just say so, Johann. Would Elisa roast it, just for me? If you catch one. Come, come here... Got you at last! I caught it! Help! I'll show him yet! I'm only little, but I'm nifty, see. Jean, I discovered something awful! We'll write to daddy about your new tooth! He'll be amazed at you. When he comes back. My little turtle-dove, if it weren't for you... So that's the way it is! That pigeon must be done away with! Where am I? What is this? What have I done to deserve this? A sword! You ugly bird, there... I'll get you yet! Damned bird! We'll wring your neck, no more love-notes! Good morning, Elisa. Hello, my little devil, have you seen my pigeon? No, let's hope a fox didn't get it! Beast! I was frightened, where've you been? Good morning, Elisa. Did you sleep well, Johann? How else, under one roof with a lovely woman! For you I'd sleep on a bare rock! Good, plenty of rocks around. Good morning, daddy! So the young 'uns are up already. A beautiful good morning, miller. Good morning... wait...my cap... wait! 'Morning, master. How do we go about it? Only a couple of sacks... You'll manage those on your own, Furface. Johann can clean the dung out of the goat-shed. - Dung? Me? - Dung. Such swarms of them! Our boys'll fight like lions, your Highness. - They had tough training. - Our boys'll be killed. We're far outnumbered! They'll beat us just with their turbans! Where're you from? From far away, Bohemia. Bavorov. Really? My wife comes from Netolice. That's quite close, across the wood. D'you think we can make them run? How dare you doubt our victory! It looks like my tough training did no good. I'll show you! Lock him up! You won't forget me in a hurry. Your Grace, we've got it! In a Cage! How did you catch it, Jean? You have to be smart - No more love-turtling for you. - No more letters. She'll forget in time, and your day will come. A pretty little widow she'll be. Let me finish it. No, I like it, it's like a teeny weeny hell. You'd do better to make some doughnuts. We haven't had them for ages - yesterday. It's so far, it takes time for the pigeon to find him. It'll come flying in soon. I've waited for so long. It could have lost its way. Maybe it can't find Henry. I told you umpteen times that with my kerchief on, he can't have anything bad happen to him! Henry, d'you hear me? - Jacob! - I brought you some food. - Have you seen the pigeon? -No. Could all my loved ones have forgotten me? Henry! What's happening? Good gracious! Jacob, what's going on? Jacob? ! Let me out! Oh God, a bad omen. My horse! Why did you let the general escape? Go, look for him! Don't move, your Highness. It's me. Henry from Bavorov. Oh, dear God. Thank you. If we survive, I'll fulfil your every wish. Come, your Highness, down to the water. Bring back the general, dead or alive! Too late, soldier. No, just a few more steps! Get to the water! We must cross that mountain. - It's a precipice! - Jump, don't be afraid. Now he's trapped! We'll drown! Please jump, your Highness! Now! The devil took them. Look, aren't they beautiful? ! The finest in the world! You can't eat toadstools. Show me what you picked. All these, look, all beautiful... The red ones are poisonous! Pick only the boletus! So they're all ugly and poisonous and that's a red one too. No, that's an orange-cap, a good one. Crazy, this. One red one you eat, another you don't. Look, there's a fine one. I don't like that one at all... You silly thing. Please... Where are the others? Where are they all? - Where are the others? - There aren't any others. - What about Henry? - He's... back there. Elisa, someone's looking for you! When my pal was dying in the battlefield he asked me to bring you this. Elisa, my child... Pull yourself together. Oh God, what now. I've left my message, so goodbye. Elisa. Look at me. Daddy. Your Grace. A great performance, Jean! - Yes, you'll get a medal. - Thank you, your Grace... A medal? ! I've got 'dozens of those! Goodness, what happened? Henry was killed. I'm so sorry. That's life for you... that's life... Some celebration, or what? It's my lucky day today, dear witch. Let's hope it's not the last. Now nothing can prevent her from making the right choice Me! Me! Me...! That's fine, but your star is waning! Tomorrow is the third full moon. Tomorrow is the third full moon. I can talk and talk and nobody listens to me. - Nobody believes me. - Nor me. But he brought the kerchief that I gave Henry. How else would he have got it? I don't know yet, but we'll find out. It's not working, or something. D'you know why? Because you're a muddle-pate! Let go or I'll hit you. So how did she do it? I don't know! So tell your girl-friend to show you and fast, or Elisa'll die of woe. We want Elise to see Henry alive and stop dripping tears into the dough. Here you are, and make it quick. I went to her three times, you know what she said? Patience brings roses. What would I do with roses? Johann. Looks nice. Is it noon already, Johann? Not yet, but I can't wait. I came to offer you true happiness. I'll marry you, Elise, you'll live in luxury! You can even bring the child, if you want to. You're a lucky girl. I was happy with my Henry, but then my luck flew away. Except for - look, they have the same eyes. I'm sick of your comedy. Keep your palace. I don't want it. And get out! I'll stay true to Henry even though he's gone! Impossible! You must marry me! Leave Elisa alone! She's got to marry me! She must marry me! So you won't let her be, you nasty wretch? We've had really enough of you. We saw right through you! Get out or I'll change you into a limping mare! - You said you can't do it. - I know, but he doesn't. Let's scare him out of his wits! Climb on my back, quick. Don't drop me! Jean, it's me! The Duke! It's all her fault, and she's waiting for you! - Who? - The old witch! Our salvation! But your Grace... Delicious. High time, where've you been, Duke? It didn't work, did it. Elisa doesn't want me. What did you think? I told you so. Save me! Help me, gracious witch! Stop moaning, she's not the only Elisa around. I said I'd choose a Lady for your palace myself. Get up. My, you're heavy. I wonder are you worthy of her? Call me Elisa, I don't mind. What? You? Never! No? That's all right. I can be the mistress here without you around. You and your precious servant'll clean the place all day and every day for 100 years. And I want everything to shine and sparkle! That's what I get for my my tragic love! I know everything, move and fast or I'll turn you into six ugly green dwarfs. No. Your Grace, you too? You're as heavy as a sack of grouts! Come quickly! They'll haunt the castle at nights, they don't know yet! - But this is our... -Elisa's! They locked it up! - What? - They stole it, it's ours! I'll show you.0100 years, for that pigeon! - Won't Elisa be pleased. - Yes, she will. Mind you don't hurl it. Fly home quickly, to Elisa. Tell her we're coming! I said I'd fulfil your every wish, right? Yes, your Highness. And I shall! You saved my life. But this will be my keepsake. Never take it off, I got it from the devil. How did you know we wouldn't drown? I can't swim. A miller and water, we're body and soul. And I'm friends with a watersprite. I name you my highest commander, I'll give you a house in the city and every year on this day... Isn't it enough? Just tell me. No, your Highness I don't know what I'd do with that. But if I can really have a wish... Henry! Elisa! Terry, come, quickly, daddy's back! Theresa... Welcome home. That's our pigeon! Look... What a landing! I'm never flying with you again. I know of a valley with a pretty mill here I'm my own master in a kingdom ruled by two princesses here I like it best in all the world Directed by The Cast Hem"! Elisa Devil Watersprite Duke Jean Miller Witch Hi. Hi. How are you doing? Fine. I'm sorry I didn't show up yesterday. It's okay. I missed you. But what for What for so much sky What for so much sea What for What good is the wave that breaks In the morning breeze What good is the morning Useless landscape Forget it, Pedro Paulo. It's over. - Things don't end this suddenly. - Yes, they do. No, they don't. Look, I don't know if things end this way or not... but what we had together is over. We'll go on Saturday, then. For one night. You can choose a romantic inn. Pedro Paulo, my darling. Former spouses don't travel together to romantic inns. Technically speaking, we're not former spouses yet. Technically speaking, I wouldn't travel with you... if my life depended on it. MasterJockstrap won't let you go? If you break into my apartment again... - Our apartment. - My apartment. And you're forbidden to go in when I'm not there. Does thejapanese guy look sexy in his jockstrap? He's notJapanese. He's Chinese. These Orientals are perverted. Has he asked you to perform any strange acts yet? There are no "strange acts" for people with open minds. Don't let him tie you up in bed. These guys will steal your furniture. What do you mean "these guys"? Have you gone mad? Japanese always travel in groups. Give me back the key. Come on. I'm sorry. - I was swimming. - No problem. Good morning, Miss Simpson. - How are you doing this morning? - Fantastic. In English, please, Nadine. You're not going to ask me about Gary? Yes. Your Internet romance. How's it going? - Yesterday he said he loves me. - What? Really? He signed off, " Love, Gary." Nadine, you mustn't read too much into that. Americans use the word "love" very casually. We say "I love you" like you say "Good-bye." " Hi. You must be Gary. I'm Nadine. I came all the way from Brazil to see you only." Just to see you. - Okay. Just to see you. - Right. "I know that I don't know you very much." - Very well. - Thank you. No. I don't know you very well. - " But you don't know me either." - Ei-ther. " But I am sure, deep inside my heart... that you are the person of my life." You know, you don't say "person of my life." You'd say "man of my life." I think "soul mate" is more romantic. Good morning. - Good morning. - Good morning, sir. Vermont Associates. I'm sorry. Who are you? Your new law intern. It must be some mistake. I don't have an intern, old or new. Is this Mr. Pedro Paulo's office? That's me, but at the moment I need no intern. New Resolution #5, 7 83/99 requires that... five percent of the payroll of law firms be made up of interns. Yes. So you're my five percent. I ranked third among the 23 candidates for this job. Your first assignment: Take these papers to Mr. Juan Alvarado, my father... and return with them signed. Copacabana, 534 Duvivier, suite 902. I'm not a messenger. I'm a law intern. For your information, my father is a client. I'm defending him in a lawsuit in divorce court. Aren't you going to write down the address? 534 Duvivier, suite 902. "Alvarado Custom Tailors Refined Clothing Since 1 938" Senor Juan, please. - Who would like? - Who would like what? Senor Juan. I would like Senor Juan. Who would like to speak to Senor Juan? I have some papers for him to sign. He's with a client. You can leave them with me. Sorry, but I have instructions to bring these papers back with me, signed. You can wait, then. - I don't need the Internet. - You think you don't need it. - I don't need one of those, either. - Soon you'll say you don't need man. Well, for the last two years. Two years? No man? - Or the Internet. - The best place to find a man. What ever happened to dinner and a movie? A guy who spends his nights in front of a computer has to be a good date. He's not married, and he doesn't sleep with a lot of girls. Maybe there's a reason he's not married. Maybe there's a reason he doesn't sleep with a lot of girls. Maybe... he's not even a man. How do you say...? - Don't knock it till you've tried it. - Yeah, that's it. Tonight come by my house and we'll go into a chat room together. - I don't think so. - Tonight. Promise. - We'll see. - Okay. I'm sorry. I thought it was a robbery. Nadine, I'm sure you recognize Acacio... and this is Gordo, his manager. Gordo is more than my agent. He's my buddy. In English, please. - Sorry. - Hi. How's it going? Acacio's going to play in England. I know. I saw it on TV. Speculation. Nothing's signed yet. - Twelve million is cheap. - You're crazy! Acacio was the top goal scorer in the last two Rio championships. If I were him, I'd only sign for 1 5. Acacio was the top goal scorer in the last two Rio championships. She's right. Twelve million is too little. Acacio is a great player. Thanks, but I don't need anyone to defend me. You watch and see if he's not the best. Senor Juan. That's me. Can we talk for a moment? Of course, Mr. Vermont. Have you finished the American contract? Not yet. It's almost ready. You know, Americans are sticklers for details. I come from three generations of tailors. - Details are my specialty. - I know. It's just that you... This piece of junk is really badly designed. Sorry. You seem tired lately. As a lover of justice, you should understand... that I'm going through a difficult moment. - Recent separation... - Four months is not so recent. Right, it's not... but then there's my father's case against his latest wife. The judge is going to rule this week. Juan. How is he? He's all right... but I want him to stay away from all the dirt in the case. Welcome to England, Acacio. Are you going to miss Brazil? Yes, I am. And what do you think you're going to miss most? Especially you. What have you got to say to your new fans in Manchester? Hello, Manchester people. I love you. Sorry to interrupt, but this is the fourth class that I've been at. Your grammar is perfect, but I disagree with the subject. Really? Gordo wants to change the program. Wants. Adapt the curriculum to Acacio's basic needs in England. And these basic needs are? Trash talk. Yeah. The bad is good, teacher. The English play an Anglo-Saxon-style soccer. He won't last five minutes on the field... unless he can tell his opponent what to do with the ball. And what, exactly, do you want to tell your opponent to do with the ball? To put in their ass. Inside of their ass. At least up his mother's ass. "Shit" is merda in English, right? Right. Go to shit. - No, that doesn't really work. - No? Don't you have anything with "ass"? You can "kiss it." Kiss it my ass. Better. What does it mean? Oh, shit. I don't know. Acacio asking an English player to kiss his behind? Trust me. No one's going to think it's an endearment. How would you say casa do caralho in English? I know. I look in the dictionary. It's "home of the dick." Right? You need something with "fuck" in the middle. How do they say it? " Motherfucking." No, "motherfucker." In American films it's "modafucka"! Who's the teacher here? Him or me? Sorry. Fat, wait for me in the car. The good old ear test. How are you doing, son? My fingers, my eyes can deceive me... but never my ears. The fabrics speak to me. I can't hear a thing. I know. That's why I didn't insist that you follow in my footsteps. The fabrics tell you what type of clothes they want to be. You'll never forgive me for not being able to listen to the fabrics. Who am I to forgive anyone? I don't defend universal truths. I defend my own truths... but look where it's gotten me. It's made you an extremely elegant old man. What good is elegance... in these days of jeans and T-shirt? Women don't look for elegance anymore. They only look for money. Four wives... my mother in the '50s, yours in the '60s... another one in the '7 0s... and he ended up in trouble with this one in the '90s. If Veronica ends up with this shop... This place is my life. - We're going to win, right? - Yes. What do you want? No rush. It's just that... High quality. It would make a nice suit if it weren't for the color. But Dad, my idea was to make a Campari-colored suit. If the cloth cries out to be a suit, it can make a nice suit... even if it was born Campari. Excuse me. May I help you? In English, please. The lady that went in the elevator... Is that a student? No. I think that I know her family... No, no. She's a teacher. Hi, sweetheart! Ready for cyberspace? I just got in a very exclusive chat room. A friend has just arrived. She's an Internet virgin. You do this every night? No. On Thursdays I eat at my mother's... then I come home and take a Valium. Wouldn't you rather meet someone live? In a real place? Like at the beach? And compete with those teenagers who live at the gym? No. Thank you. By any chance... do you meet live people in real places? No... but I don't want to meet anyone. Everyone wants to meet someone. I already met the person I was supposed to meet... and I married him. Are you divorced? No. Widowed. I'm sorry. No, Nadine. It's not like I'm some traumatized madwoman. Okay, but I am. Must be Gary. " Love is a virus... that infiltrates itself... in the system of two lovers. Yours, Gary" He didn't sign off"love," but there are two "loves" before. It's good, no? Remember me? Of course. My public defender. - Beautiful, isn't it? - What? Far out. Can I try it? Far out. I need to tell you that I love you I could win or lose you But I need to tell you that I love you Beautiful. You have mine. I have yours. Miami I can get you for $7 50. It has to be New York. Can I just buy a one-way ticket? There's a flight with stopover in Paraguay for $650. $650... It's still a little high. No, thanks. You can't get a hotel in New York for less than $7 0 a day. I'm staying with my boyfriend. - He has a loft in Soho. - Can't he lend you some money? No, he doesn't know me yet. Your boyfriend doesn't know you? No. What I mean is, not in person. I see. He's just heard about you. We have an Internet romance. The Internet. Really? It'll be six months in April. You're my second client who's found someone on the Internet. There was a girl from Goias State, not bad-looking... rather provincial, who married a French computer professor. Gary is a visual artist. An artist makes a lot of money in the US. Americans respect artists. Yesterday he told me that he loved me. I get goose bumps talking about these things. 6'2", waist-length hair. Any tattoos? He only mentioned one: a huge tribal symbol on his back. You're going to meet this Gary. I'm going to give you a discount I wouldn't give my own mother. Fifteen percent. Thank you. " Marjorie and Jo-Jo live and work in New York City. They have been married for one year. - They have a big dog called Rex." - Settle, people. "They live in a very big apartment on Fifth Avenue." Fifth. Shut up! Shut up, guys. She said, "Shut up!" - Thank you. - You're welcome. Welcome. Thank you. - Son of a "beetch. " - Son of a bitch! - Good! - What's the difference? Bitch is a female dog. Beach is the sand by the ocean. - English, please. - Asshole. - Fuck you, slut! - Up yours, dickhead! - Eat my shorts. - Blow me! - Motherfucker! - Cocksucker! Shit, that's very sexy. For that... the referee will give you a red card. It's a big soccer game tonight. The national team is playing. It's on the TV. - Is Acacio playing? - I'm sure. Well, let's get started, then. Why don't you open to page 3 5 and read? Do you prefer on the top or below? I beg your pardon? The reading. I should read on the top? You mean, should you stand up? I'm sorry. Yes. - Stand up. Do you prefer? - No, you're fine. " Marjorie and Jo-Jo love romantic evenings... and romance in New York City always starts on Broadway." " Marjorie and Jo-Jo love romantic evenings." Sorry. "They enjoy fine restaurants." I've been searching for a fabric the color of this bay... for some time now. I'm serious. I love this color... dirty green. You're putting me on. Wow! Your eyes are the color of this bay! Man, you're weird. They are! Look at me. Look at me. Let me check. Incredible. Exactly the same color. You're the first person that says they're green. But they are... dirty green. I think so too, but everyone else thinks they're brown. No. That guy who works with your father... - Which one? - The one from Niteroi. Roberto. He's not gay, is he? No. Not as far as I know. Why? I don't know. He's just weird. He's my brother. Don't worry. He's just a half brother. Then I just half embarrassed myself. Mr. Pedro Paulo's office. It's Sharon. Sharon, the intern. Hello, who is this? Since when do you have an intern? Jealous? Me? Jealous? Are you mad? I'll be right with you. Take a seat. I just called to check something. I'm filling out a questionnaire in a magazine. Did you ever make number two in front of me? What? Number two. You know, in the bathroom. Poop? No, of course not. I knew it. Thanks for clearing that up. Good-bye. Seven years of marriage... and we never made number two in front of one another. Really? Seven years and not once. Cool. And how about you and Gary? What? Poop? No, silly, your virtual romance. Enough virtual. No more talk. Cock. How long does it take to get a visa? " New York City is the financial capital of the world." World. Roll your "r." " Downtown, on Wall Street... is the World Trade Center... and the Staten Island ferry." Staten. Master, she gave me a smile. You're wrong, she gave me a smile! No! Master, she smiled to me. One two three, guess what's next... Did you touch my ass? Open! Ten! Your... Did you touch my ass? Drink! I, Chan Mon-gut, swear that I haven't done that shameless thing. Let's go! Right! Stop! Miss, you should have evidence to accuse someone. If you don't have any evidence, better mind your tongue. Let's go! Master, in order to let her feel better, let me admit the accusation. I'll let you touch my ass as compensation, agree? What a benefit to you! What a creep! Fong Tong-ken? Chan Mon-gut, you two are civilized men! How dare you bully a helpless girl like this? You took her advantage, and you insult her by playing such dirty guessing game. Tell me, where is righteousness? Bastard! I won when I played mahjong with him last time, he takes that as an insult and always wants to take revenge. That's him! Miss, may I know your name? Called Lotus Shui. I, Fong tong-ken, will fight for justice and teach the creeps a lesson. Pal, let's take a seat and... Cut the crap, take Lysee out. Lysee, the quixotic dog! ? That's right, it's been terribly trained. By just one hair of the suspect, no matter where the criminal goes, it will find him out and bite him. Now, I'll show you a demonstration. Attack! Miss Shui, don't worry, let it smell your ass. Stay calm. Master, if there is anything wrong, I'll gather our fellows for a fight. Just delay them as long as you can. I won't give it a damn! Come on. Attack! Good dog... Oh, it likes eating buns! Shit! Oh, the thief is crying for catching thief! It's Fong who touched Miss Shiu's ass! Now, the truth is found! He can't imagine that the dog which is trained by him... will betray him because of my righteousness and its conscience! It turns to charge against its master! What a righteous dog! Let's clap for it. Lysee is a good dog. Lysee is a good dog! We've found a good dog named Lysee in China. Miss, do you want to talk to me? I'm sorry to make a mistake. I am so ignorant that, I was almost cheated by that bastard. By the way, you owe me something, huh? I wish to have chance to pay for it. This is my student Foon. Brother Foon. He likes you so much. Master, you are disgusting! But you need not fall for him. Well, 3 pm tomorrow, come to my home on time. Let's discuss what you'd pay for it. What do you think? I'll be there on time. Let's go! Let's go! Master, we've found it. Daddy, we've found it. God, hope you would bless Yu-fa and Nim-sai, make them live happily in heaven, thank God! Sir, beware of catching cold, let us handle it. Chung, open the coffin and check the body. How is the body? We still can see his face. Turn the body upside down and remove his trousers. What did you see? His ass. Anything on his ass? A triangular stain. It's birthmark. Right, he is your brother Nim-sai. Actually, Nim-sai was sold to Canton by you for over 20 years. If he is still alive, can you recognise him? You know, when one is happy, his has one look. And when he is sad, he has another look. I can't guarantee the change of his look. Do you remember anything special about Nim-sai? He has had a very beautiful jade round his neck. There is a little door on it, behind the door, the name "Sai" of Sir Ho Sai is carved on it. Master, what are you doing? Wait. Master, what are you doing here? Wait. Master. You are lucky! What's the matter? Are you willing to kiss Lotus? Master, are you kidding me? Will I be that lucky? It's true! When Lotus arrives, I'll ask Yan to let her sit on this chair. Then Yan will get the tea by leaps and bounds. Isn't it great? That's great! Am I smart? Master, how to kiss her? Take a seat. When she is all wet, what's next? She will be very ugly and she will scream! No, no! She will get changed! Master, how can she get changed in public? Look! This door will lock up automatically when it's closed. At the same time, water will flush out from this hole. According to human beings' instinct, Lotus will... Stuff it with her finger. At the same time, another water-column comes from that side. She will stuff with another finger. But she can't imagine that... another water-column aims... at her face! Master, do you mean it? Lotus is so poor then. She can't seek for any help! She must be scared and doesn't know what to do. In order to stop the water, everyone knows she will... stuff the hole with her tongue. That's right, you stand in front of the changing room. When it's the right time, remove the hose, move forward and kiss. So I can kiss her. Smug calcultation! When you hear the bell ringing, go ahead and kiss her. What's the use of kissing her? Are you fooling me, Brother Foon? Master, if she bites me, what'll I do then? If you switch her on by your tongue, she won't bit you, right? Master, you are so nice to me. I am so nice to you, right? Yes. Brother Yan. Master. Come here... Ask her to stay in this room and don't leave. Later, water will come through this hole and aim at your face. Stuff this pig's tongue into this hole. Understand? Yes. Repeat once please. Damn it! Later, a water-column will flush in through this hole. When you are damn wet, you stuff this damn pig's tongue into... this bloody hole. You should have said in this way. What a creep! Let me have a second thought. When Foon is kissing the pig's tongue which Yan's holding. I'll be here to kiss Lotus. If she accused us, Foon will admit all the blames! Lotus will slap Foon severely, again and again and I'll go forward and kick him severely too. Lotus will lean on my chest, and I'll comfort her. I'll make her drunk, then I will... Who else can be the King of Brain-truster in this world except me? No one else! Why are you carrying luggage? Moving? No, madam is back. Madam? Yes, she's going to the sitting room with her friend. What a big house, but... One chair only? You are my guest, you take the seat. Shit! Sorry, you'd better get changed first. No! Hubby. Not you! I mean the one with protruding teeth! This room... No problem, you are in urgent need. You first! Shit! Help! Help... Shit... Help! Help! Help! Someone is killed! It's shit! Master, we are in trouble... It's shit... Madam! Foon! No one is killed! Everything is fine. Miss Shiu, I'll return your tongue to you. I am sorry, I don't mean it... Sorry, I am late. Ghost! Ghost! Hey! What's going on? It's a mess. I can't manage to explain. Help... Wu Man. How is it, hubby? I sent you to UK to study law, why do you come back suddenly? I wish to give you a surprise. It's really a surprise. Let's eat. By the way, why were you flushed out of the room by water? And I see traps all over the house. Do you have time to tell something about it? I have time, but it's not convenient to talk right now. Madam, don't mistake it. Master knows that I have an indecent and brutal desire. So he arranged all the traps, to let me have chance to kiss Miss Shiu. Don't misunderstand him. But, master... About the pig's tongue, isn't it convenient to give me an explanation? Sure, but I don't have time. That's good, even you have time to talk, we don't have time to listen. Foon, you kissed the pig's tongue, didn't you? I did. Right, I bought that specially for you. Master, you promised to let me kiss Miss Shiu. In fact, it's me who wanted to kiss her. And the pig's tongue is for you only. I wanted to fool you! I want to take your advantage, so what? I won't give it a damn to tell you the truth. It's hot, and life is boring, I just want to have fun, isn't it alright? That's alright! Well, it's OK then. Why do you stare at me? Because of our friendship, I'll let you kiss something anyways. You'd better ask her. Excuse me. Chan Mon-gut, you are a married man, why do you still date me for dinner? You'll make me misunderstand something. Haven't you thought of my feeling? A smart guy isn't a big shot. Miss Shiu. Very simple! She secretly admires him. He fooled him. He wants to kiss her. You are mad at him. I wanna beat you, you know? Siu-tso! Lend it to me. Miss Shui... Please wait! Miss Shui, it's dark outside, let me show you the way home. No, you'd better lend me the lantern. I'll return it next time. Next time? That means I'll have chance to see you again! If it's not necessary to return it, I prefer keeping it. I can't be his woman, I can't win his heart, now, I love to keep it for memory. Miss Shui, why do you like my master? All women want to find a husband who is capable, a man who can protect her. Miss Shui, if there is a man, who is a bit stronger than you, but he can protect you, will you consider him? People always look for the best, if I can't find a good husband, I prefer not marrying anyone else. What a decent woman! Bravo! Foon, a man should achieve something in his life. You'd better forget loving affair, the world will be your oyster, you'd fight for your future. Where should I go to fight for my future? Isn't it all the go? Yeah... Really? Let me take a look! Isn't it popular in Britain now? What? See! What do you mean? Look at me! Look at my look! Oh! Look! You speak fluent English. It's wise of me to let you study in Britain. I'm right to bring this present to you. See! You look really smart. Even a deaf guy can hear that... you spoke whole-heartedly. You can read my mind! You really understand me. You talk in such a romantic way! It's late, let's go to bed. That's good. You first. No, you first... Come on! No, I mean, I dare not, I really dare not. Come on, just give me some face. No, I... Alright, I'll listen to you. I think my husband doesn't like me any more. We have married for 7 years, and I went to Britain for one year. He didn't look at my eyes when he talked to me. I can't help, so I didn't look at his eyes when I talked to him too. Foon, he sent me to university and wanted me to study law, actually, I studied something else. What's that? Fashion design. What kind of subject is it? Needlework. Woo! What a wonderful world. The world has changed a lot! Even needlework can be a subject in the university! So you should go out to see the world. You've rung my bell! A man should fight for his future! I think I should go somewhere! Maybe the nearest city, Hong Kong. Are you going to Hong Kong? Yes, Master. But it's no longer a Chinese's place. It's a British colony now! I don't care! I won't let anyone bully me. Alright. Leave me alone! The salary which you haven't paid me, if it's convenient... may I get it back? What did you say? The salary which you... The previous line. No. You told me to leave you alone, didn't you? Good! Very good! It's what you said! Master, you love chicken's kidney's very much. Eat more. More rice. Let me do it... Master, your rice. Don't you know I am on diet? I want half rice! Let me do it... Bastard, what a useless guy! Half! Look, half bowl of rice which you want! Eat it! You do this in my place, you are not giving me face, are you? You said you would leave me alone. You lost, Chan Mon-gut! Peace! Peace! Shut up! It's my place, you have no say here! Now, I swear in front of the lights! I will never care about Ho Foon. If I don't keep my words, I'll be punished by law. Don't you care about me any more? You mean it? You are selfish! You are merciless! You are impotent! Bastard! You bastard! You really mean it? Bastard! How dare you cheat my money? Brother Foon, hide up first. Hide up? Yan, take care. I am not impotent... I am not! Hubby, what's wrong with you? It's only a dream. Foon said that I am merciless and selfish. Is that true? I feel lonely, how to say in English? I love you. I love you. Really? I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! It's late, why do you come? Miss Shui, Chan Mon-gut is a real creep. I've followed him for decades, he treats me badly too. Don't you think he will be nice to you instead? Any other thing else? Miss Shui... You are old enough to get married. Take this piece ofjade. Come on. Go in and get some clothes. Follow me to Hong Kong, will you? You... No? It's a long road to Hong Kong, take this piece ofjade with you. If you meet the bandits, you still have something valuable, thus they won't kill you. It's late, better go now. Take care. Master. Where is the guy who sold this piece ofjade? None of my business, I don't know shooting. I didn't kill! I didn't kill... I didn't kill! Go! I am innocent! Go in. Foreigner? You murderer! Uncle, what did he scold me? No... Help! Are you going to torture me? Oh my dick! Now, you are charged with murdering. You can employ your own lawyer to defend for you. Do you have any lawyer? Yes! Chan Mon-gut! Shit! Mister, are you ready? I've found Master. Good! Let's go. After the shaving, no hair will be left. You can't regret, Mister, do you want a second thought? Come on. Stop! Fleas are living in my armpit, why do you stop me? May I have a little bit freedom? Mister, do you want to go on? Yes, please. Foon is being charged with hom4cide in Hong Kong. What? Yes. Hey! What? Are you going to save him? How? If you don't, he will die. People will die sooner or later! You are smart and wise! I can't help... He committed crime in HK which is governed by British law. I can't help. You sent me to study law in Britain. Maybe, perhaps, I think I can give him a... little help. I can hear fear from your voice. I am no match for you. I think, I have to help you! Master... It's meal time. Where can I get my food, mister? Are you new? Right... Time for Playing games. Don't bully me! My master is really something. About the case of Ho Foon, the British and Chinese governments have reached an agreement. The case will be judged in the British court. No appeal. And, Chan Mon-gut will be the defence counsel for Ho Foon. I've been informed already. And, His Excellency Li Hung-chang said, if you can free Ho Foon from charges, you'll become a hero. Money and fame will come sooner or later. Congratulations. If I lose, I don't think I will have any lose. It's an insult to the country. You will be punished, maybe capital punishment for your tribes. You are throwing me to the sharks! Come on, don't get mad. The chairs are not enough for all of us, you know? What's wrong with it? What's wrong? Where did you cut it? Number nine, Nathan Road. You know, you should not follow the trend to cut your hair like this! Different people should have different hair styles. See, your hair doesn't match your face. And your face doesn't match your body. Your body doesn't match your hair. Completely ugly! What the hell do you want? Master, I know it's my fault, please don't blame me. I regret to cut my hair. Sit down first. Tell me the whole story. Alright. Oh that day, I wandered off alone on the Nathan Road. When I reached number 9, Nathan Road, a fat woman waved to me. She said, "Come to have your hair cut, it costs 5 cents only!" That's why I followed her. I always told you, cheap things are no good! You know your mistake now? Let's go back to the case, alright? On that day, I went to the HK Club for the lion dance as usual. After the performance, I went back to the back stage. Suddenly someone covered my head with a rice bag, he pushed me on the wall, when I struggled with him... Suddenly, someone took off my pants... Did he... Yes! What did you feel? Painful? No. Funny? No! My ass was seen, and I felt a bit cool. What's next? Then, I struggled... I removed the bag and saw him pointing at me with a gun. What do you want? You sex maniac! What do you want? You seduced my wife and you wanted to accuse first? Don't kill me... None of my business, I don't know how to shoot! That's right, it means, someone killed Ho Chun in the dark. Then, Ho Foon became the scapegoat. The key point is, did you have any secret affair with Chun's wife? Master, I haven't seen his wife at all. How could I have secret affair with her? Ho Chun lied. But why was he killed? It's alright, the key point is... your ass. What is this triangular mark? A birthmark. Birthmark? See! Some acnes are found. Not serious, Madam. You've dropped something! It's a domino! Can you explain it to me? Master, this is a kind of custom in the prison. In this prison, the new comers should serve the Indians and the foreigners. That is to store gambling tools inside the anus. Master, would you help me to stuff back? Since you have to stuff it, I've brought you a chicken leg, better store it too. If you feel hungry, you can take it out and eat. That's a good idea! Master. Come on. Good! Thank you, master. Come on, don't mention it. Shit, I've stuffed my ring too. Foon, can you get my ring back for me? Sure, master. This is chicken leg, my ring is still inside. Not this one? Oh, it's full! Master, would you mind looking for it yourself? Alright. He's taking my bag! As it's stipulated by court, although it's not his wish to be baptized, we still welcome him to join God's family. Let him go. Why a woman's baptismal time is so short... But a man's baptismal time is so long? Why did you fight? Your nose bleeds! I didn't beat him. None of his business! Look! I hate blonde! I think it's acceptable! Damn you! Put all the dominos back. As well as my mahjong too. And the chair and table, all set! What? Thank you, brother Hung. Don't mention it. As told by Chan Mon-gut, I will take good care of you. Beat him severely! Court. My master is really great. My master is really great. Please ask the candidates for the jury to come for the election. Mr. Cheung Ti-sung, you are handicapped, I would like to dispense you from serving the jury. Objection! Why do you object? It's against the spirit of law for despising handicapped people. Although I am blind, I am always a righteous and fair person. My wish is to become a jury member. If you don't let me join the jury, I'll complain against you. Alright, I'll let you do it. Thank you. We have jury and judge here, actually, who will be in-charge of the court? Yup. So, do you think that is an answer? Well. Prosecutor. Jury. In the coming few days, I'll disclose the most ugly face of human beings in front of you. This is a terrifying and shameless homicide. The accused Ho Foon had secret affair with the victim's wife Yuk. He seduced the victim's wife, and he was well-planned to possess Yuk too. He asked Ho Chun to meet him and then killed him. Yuk has been disappeared. We have reasons to believe that she was killed by Foon too. We believe that our almighty God... Cause his justice. This is a court, as well as a place God shows justice! He is really something. Defence counsel. Your Honour, may I ask the jury few questions? What questions? Very important questions. Go ahead. If you think the accused is handsome, please raise your hands. If not, please raise your hands. If you think the accused is terribly ugly, please raise your hands. Ladies and gentlemen, the accused is ugly and poor, you can see how ugly looking he is. How could he seduce the wife of the manager of a well-off family? Your Honour, objection! Your Honour, I just want to prove the motive of killing... is actually ridiculous! Your Honour, the defence counsel is ridiculous and not practical! Alright, be a bit practical. Lady, if the accused wants to court you, will you accept that? Of course not. If he gives you a thousand, can you stay with him for a night? Nuts! Doesn't he think he can court me with a thousand only? What a creep! Auntie, you should answer the question only. Why did you scold me? Who do you think you are? You are a pervert! You murderer! I tell you, I will not fall for you! You deserve to be put behind bars. You deserve to die in jail! You are too bad! I tell you, you jinx! Serve you right! Quiet Your Honour, I've proved that his motive is doubtful... Your Honour, the accused's look doesn't make sense with killing. By the way, the... Wait! You should wait, by the way... Listen to me first. Even he wanted to kill Chun, he would go some place else. It's senseless to kill in the place where he is working. What do you think the cause of Chun's death? I don't know, you'd better think! Maybe, Ho Chun wanted to rape Foon. But he failed. So he committed suicide and made Foon be the scapegoat. Chan Mon-gut, this is the British court, not the poor court of you Chinese. I don't know what you are doing here. You don't know anything about law. Please go back to study more. Even you don't think of your own reputation, you'd think of the face of your fellow people. Sorry... He always mentions the United Kingdom. It seems he's forgotten that Hong Kong was leased to the UK. They have to return it one day! Damn it, how dare he be that cocky in our territory! ? For Foon's sake, don't offend him, OK? But that's the fact! Sorry! ... Summon the witness. I was washing rice inside the kitchen. When I heard the gun shot, I rushed to the backyard at once. What did you see? I saw Ho Chun lying on the ground, with blood all over his body. Foon pointed a gun at him and laughed. He said, "Ho Chun, you are dead meat now." What's next? I was afraid and screamed! Ho Foon got mad and chased after us. Objection! What did you say? What you've just said differs from the statement you gave to the police. I just want to ask why you amended your statement? Objection substained, witness should answer the question. I worry that Ho Foon will avenge me. So I didn't tell all the truth. I have no question, it's your turn. I would like to show the jury the evidence, item number one first. Witness, this gun can shoot only one bullet. You said you heard the gun shot, so how could he shoot you again? He didn't want to kill me with gun. But by what? Sword. Are you kidding me? Really? He chased after me and wanted to kill me with "capital chopper". He chased after me, and I was so afraid... He hit me with rod, non-stop hitting... He hit from the left and then from the right... He wanted to use a pair of swords to kill me. I haven't seen these evidence before. They are our new discoveries. To kill a person, why should he bring along so many weapons? That strongly proved that he was well-planned to kill Chun. He even wanted to kill innocent citizen. Even though, he didn't mind to die with all. Bull shit! You creeper! You are framing me, you will die a dog's death! Bastard! You will go to hell! Your Honour, I request to charge Foon with some more charges... threatening judiciary officer, contempt of court, bodily injury, and throw rubbish in public place. Chan Mon-gut. I didn't do it, I didn't do it. Don't lose your mind. Why did you throw my shoe away? Give me back my shoe. Take this first. Super swords! Capital Chopper! I smell something weird. What's this? Cat's stool. Why are you that hungry? It may be very important clues. Brother Lone, what made you think so? Because of my name. I made many clues. How about that shoe? Yes, much is found! Give it to Brother Lone, it's very important! Greet Brother Lone. Brother Lone. I heard steps. And it's far away... It's late, Brother Lone, let's call it a day. Wait for me. Super swords and capital chopper. I can tell it's a trap. The prosecutor is cocky! Who the hell is he? A very sharp-tongued lawyer. What a co-incidence, he is Ho Chun's boss, named Ho Chung. Who is his boss then? His dad, Ho Sai. Ho Sai? He is a rich merchant, and is the council member. He owns many properties in Western District. Sai? Yes, Sai. Hearing this word "Sai", I... Did it ring your bell? Right, because I remember Foon has... What? A piece ofjade which the word "Sai" is carved. Maybe, there is another story. This may be related to the poor orphan, Ho Foon. Wu Man. Hubby. Do you know anything about Ho Sai? He is a Catholic, a righteous man. Good! Yan. Yes, Send this picture to Ho Sai at once. I want him to meet Foon in court. Master, why do you draw such pervertible picture? Do you feel happy? Brother Lone, we all count on you. Please go ahead. The witness must be bribed or threatened. An eye for an eye! I want to threaten them too. Please find them out. And then torture them, make them confess. Good idea. How can you figure this idea out? I... I use my brain. Don't worry. Count on me. It's alright, count on me. Don't worry, count on me. Brother Lone doesn't seems to be alright Your Honour, I would like to summon a new witness. What big deal? Your old man! Objection, how dare he scold my old man? Come on, don't always object, can you listen his words first? Summon Sir Ho Sai. I mean your dad! This is my master. Chan Mon-gut. Sir, thank you for your help. Please follow me. I swear with my sincerity. Sir, do you know the accused Ho Foon? No. But he is like my concubine Yu-fa. What? You have had a son with your concubine? Yes, we have a son named Nim-sai. But he is dead. Why? I don't know. Why don't you know that? We've lost each other for over 20 years. Why did you say he's dead? I saw his dead body. How could you confirm that was your son? From his ass. Ass? Right, I saw a triangular birthmark on the body's ass. That makes me believe that was my son's dead body. Sir, there are so many unexpected things happened on earth. For many things, you may not believe it. Foon, do you want me to teach you? Take off your pants! Now! Yes! How about the one I saw? You just saw his ass, but not the face. The birthmark may be drawn by someone. It may be drawn by someone. So you are my son? I'm so glad to see you meeting your son! Nim-sai! Nim-sai... Don't be too excited. Men, come and take care of Sir Ho. So, you've seen, Sir Ho admitted the accused as his son. This may be a deliberate conspiracy, a trap for a nullius filius. But the witness didn't swear in front of the Bible. So, his words won't be accepted by the court. He swore. His hands touched the Bible, but he said nothing. Alright, again. Your Honour, although such a sad thing happened, the words of the witness said before his death... should be forgotten. Nuts! He did say the truth, how can you deny it? Sorry, law is law. Not any word should be amended. Chan Mon-gut, I can't help you. Your Honour, you can! You'd better learn again. Your dad died, and you don't even shed a tear. I think I'd better learn from you. It's all because of you! My dad had heart disease. If you didn't ask him to be witness, he wouldn't have died. You, murderer! Your Honour, I am sorry. My father died, I can't control my emotion. What's up? Damn it! You pretend crying! You bastard! You don't even have tears in your eyes, can you see it? It's dry! You are caught red-handed! Why do you pretend crying? To hell with you! Hey, you'd better behave! Wait, let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a noble named Ho. He had a son named Ho Chung. Sir Ho was old, his son would be his heir of course. But, suddenly, his nullius filius Ho Foon appeared. Someone worried his status would be affected. So he sent his fellow Chun... to kill that nullius filius. But, Chun failed. Someone just took this opportunity to kill Chun. And made that poor kid be the scapegoat. That guy is really hard-hearted and cold-blooded! What do you think about my assumption? Prosecutor, why do you laugh? Because this is such a nonsense and stupid story. Nonsense and stupid, huh? But you are all sweat! It's really weird. Prosecutor, where were you when the homicide happened? At home. What were you doing? Reading. What book did you read? A tale of two cities. Where did you stop? Well... the soldiers... The soldiers met Snow White, is that right? Yes, they met Snow White... No, you are fooling me! Smart you! So, where did you stop? Why should I answer your question? Right, I don't know why you want to answer me! What a shame! Chan Mon-gut, you've gone too far! Wipe your sweat first! I think you haven't had good sleep lately. Does Ho Chun visit you every night? Your Honour! Let's go back to our topic, what did you do that night? I told you, I read at home. No, I don't mean the night Chun was killed. I mean the night before he was killed. Before killing him, I went... Yes! You're finished! Your Honour, I request to reach the final address. Damn you! Tell us what you did on the night before Chun's death. Police. No! I mean Chan Mon-gut. What's the matter? The defence counsel's personal point of view is really amazing! But according to the legal procedure... Come on! Why are you so stubborn? You're charged with contempt of court. I have to sent you to jail for one day. Immediate execution. Your Honour, are you kidding me? Your Honour, can you give me face? Hubby. Are you kidding me? Your Honour, for what we've just heard, should we forget them too? Since the statement is against legal procedure, Jury, you should forget everything you've just heard. Chan Mon-gut will be represented by Wu Man. Tomorrow, the final address should be presented. Court. Brother Foon. Miss Shui. Why are you here? I come to save you. Alright, I'll pack up first. I just want to prove your personality. I am right. You are a gutless coward. What? If you leave like this, you will be sinful forever. You can't live peacefully and you'd hide up for the rest of your life. You would be a criminal forever. I have decided to stay. That's why I love you. Creep! Ho Foon, someone comes to visit you. Miss Shui. Where did you cut your hair? Number 9, Nathan Road. Cut the crap, I won't go. I am not a gutless coward. If I leave like this, I will be sinful for the rest of my life. I won't live peacefully. And I will be a criminal forever. I won't leave. I come to express my support. You can't lose in this case. Because your master's name is so important. But now, I know that, you are a real brave and quixotic hero. I believe that you are innocent. I'll wait for you. Good speech! Will you wait for me? You'll be released at 5 pm tomorrow. How about the final address? They can do nothing to me. They can't imagine that, you studied law in UK too. Tomorrow, you'll take my place. Hubby... You'll handle Foon's life. You sent me to study law in UK... isn't it because you felt boring? Of course not! The world is so big! I think, it's a good deed... to let you see the world, is that right? Hubby, I didn't study law in UK. They rejected me. So, what did you study in UK? Fashion design. What did you say? Time's up. I studied fashion design. Fashion design. Hubby, what shall we do? Fashion design? ! Court. Prosecutor, you can start your final address now. Although sentiment counts beyond law. One should be punished if he killed. You'd better think. If your family was killed, what'll you do? Now, all the evidences which the court admitted, prove Ho Foon is the murderer. I request the jury would plead Ho Foon guilty. Defence counsel. My husband paid me to study law in UK. But I am so sorry to him, I didn't study law. I studied fashion design. I am not well educated, but I don't understand one thing. What's more important? Legal procedure or life? Your Honour, if you don't mind me telling my point of view. I think that, you've studied so many years of law, you have got nothing at all. Like my husband, I haven't studied law. But I dare to open my eyes to see what's right and wrong. I am proud of my hubby. I love him. Jury, I believe that you are not nuts. You should know how to judge. If all of you are nuts, it'll be useless to say anything. Thank you very much. You've been released! Yes. You heard everything? Yes. What do you think? Excellent! You're very much appreciated. You are flattering me. Of course not! Look. The blind is being touched by you, he is crying. Your Honour, if there isn't anything special, I request a rest. For I have an eye problem. You see pus from my eyes? Jury, have you reached any verdict? Yes. Unanimous? Yes. The jury has pleaded the accused guilty. As stipulated, the accused should be hanged. Court. Wait. Thank you for taking care of me. This chicken leg is for you. Sir. You kill me, but many many Ho Foons will appear. Sir. Wait. Your Honour, what punishment Ho Foon should receive? He is stipulated to be hanged. It's alright. Yan. Let him down. What do you want? You just ordered to hang him. Not hang him to "death". Now, he has been hung. So, you should set him free now. That's cavil at words! Your Honour, law is law. Not even one letter should be amended. Now, I can't help you. Your Honour! Think before you speak. Otherwise, you will lose the face of British government. And you may be charged with murdering. I want an urgent meeting first. Alright, back to your work. You are all nuts! Get lost. It's my time! The final decision of the court has been reached. The penalty has been carried out. Ho Foon is free now. Bravo! I'm free. Ho Chung, you are under arrest, you are charged with murder. Brother Foon. Lotus. My dear baby, your sudden appearance... makes me feel excited... Closer... I am ready. Alright? We are going to take the bridal pictures, we should be a bit serious, is that right, hubby? Well, look at me! More serious! Bravo! Master, here comes Foon. Master, Madam. Foon. Brother Foon. Brother Gut. Where is Miss Shui? I sent her to study in Britain. What's she going to study? English literature. That's to study Shakespeare. You are cultured! You know Shakespeare too? She's suitable to study English literature. That's good for her. Foon. Master. Your hair matches your face. You look great! I am so glad to see it. Master, today, you marry again, I am so glad to see it too. Well, you must be happier. No, you must be happier. Give me face, say you're happier than I am. You're happier. Come on, look at the camera. Concentrate, watch. It's alright! Number nine, Nathan Road? Bastard, you look great. Damn it, no big deal? I don't mind telling you. A smart looking guy is a big shot! So what? Oh, good, you're here. I know things have been a little slow lately, but I have made a decision that is going to change our business in a profound way. You're getting out of clocks and into something that makes sense. SALEM: I got it. Designer cat food. No, and fat chance, Tubby. I have something in the store room that is going to have a line of customers snaking around the block. Ta-da! Well, I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say "creepy." Well, there'll certainly be a nice deduction come tax time. All right, I'll give you one more chance. Salem, what do you think? Let me be delicate. Those clocks are awful. Is that so? I-I mean awful good. Look over there. No, over there! No, over there! (whimpering): Oh, change me back or take me to Wimbledon. ¶ ¶ ¶ Secrets ¶ ¶ You're never gonna know ¶ ¶ You're never gonna get it ¶ ¶ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah ¶ ¶ Secrets, secrets ¶ ¶ Secrets. ¶ ¶ ¶ So, are you buying a new dress for the Snowflake Ball? No, I've already got plenty that are fine for loitering awkwardly around the punch bowl and that's all Harvey and I ever do at those things. P.A. ANNOUNCER: Your attention, please. The finalists for the King and Queen of the Snowflake Ball are: Gracie Charters and Dan Kael, Jean Huang and Hans Tercek, and Sabrina Spellman and Harvey Kinkle. You know, I've won lots of academic prizes, but never anything as meaningless as a popularity contest. Do you think Harvey and I have a shot? Well, they say the cutest couple always wins. But those girls are really cute. You and Harvey are cute, too. Right. We'll just be ourselves and let the chips fall where they may, and I'll just take the high road. But while I'm taking it, I may as well do it in a killer new dress. Zelda, I've got bad news. Uh-oh, is Salem running five minutes fast again? No, I just found out that one of those gigantic Everything Emporium stores is going to open outside of town. Oh, one of those great discount places? They have a huge selection of clothing and appliances and... (gasps): clocks. And I really love this place. I was hoping to struggle for a few years and then file for Chapter 11. Oh, Hilda, don't overreact. It's probably just a rumor. Do you want to start boarding up the windows or should I? Hey, Josh, do you think I'd look good in this dress? I mean, you can't see the outline of my liver, though. Why do women do this to themselves? Sabrina, you're smart, you're beautiful. Tell me, what does this girl have that you don't? You mean besides millions of dollars and an abusive rock-star boyfriend? That's what's wrong with our society. See, we emphasize beauty to such a degree, it's downright unhealthy. Hey, look, a pill to stop hair loss. Hey, Salem. Want to see the dress that's going to get me elected Queen of the Snowflake Ball? Put it on. But I should warn you, I can be catty. It's the only one they had; isn't it perfect? Except for the fact that it's one size too small. I see. In your world "perfect" means "doesn't fit." And since it's an Other Realm original, it can't be altered. Really? Now I know why the Other Realm trails behind Paris as the fashion capital. Okay, well, if I can't alter the dress, I'll alter myself. I'll diet. I've never done it before, but how hard can it be? Yeah, the fact that weight-loss products comprise a billion-dollar industry is probably just a funny coincidence. Good morning, Sabrina. How would you like your eggs? Oh, as far away from me as possible. I'm on a diet so I can fit in my new dress and be elected Queen of the Snowflake Ball. Hmm, and if you go down two dress sizes, you can get into an Ivy League school. You're fine just the way you are. Fine? Harvey and I are competing with two other really cute couples. Fine is going to come in third. Well, at least let me give you one of these whole-grain muffins. Oh, come on. Think of chewing as an aerobic exercise. Ugh... just holding this muffin is making me feel bloated. Huh? (munching) One man's trash, baby. One, two, three, four, their prices are low, but their morals are lower! Well, once again, you're overreacting. Overreacting gets results! I am simply exercising my right to free speech. Uh-huh, and the rotten fruit? Visual aids. Hilda, I've made an appointment for you with the president of the Everything Emporium to sit down and discuss the matter, if you'd like to try the mature approach. Fine. I just hope I can return that cow manure. What are the odds that the cafeteria would have the bacon cheeseburgers and chocolate sundaes on the same day? I know, it's like winning the lottery. Did you misplace your entree? No. I'm trying to lose weight, so I can fit in my new dress. The dress that's going to make us a lock for King and Queen. Good. So we're both doing our part. What's yours, eating like Henry VIII? Don't pretend like you haven't noticed my mustache. Oh, I see it. No, that's just a shadow. (low gurgling) Does anyone else hear that strange buzzing sound? Yes. Like the low hum of an incoming B-52. Are we at war? (low gurgling) Uh, you know I think it's that darn sophomore with the deviated septum. He must have closed his mouth again. Sabrina, could you come up here? I think I might have an antacid. What flavor? Can I have two? I always carry the essentials. Let's see. No, that one's for leprosy. So, thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to meet with me. Hand me that towel, will you? (phone rings) What? Fire him. Your son? He's not a closer. Anyway, I hoped if I could tell you what a wonderful place my clock shop is, you would find it in your heart to spare it. (chuckling): That's a good one. Spare it! Oh, who sent you in here, huh? Artie? You're serious, aren't you? You really think there's anything you could tell me to keep me from squashing you like a bug? We put a lot of effort into our selection of timepieces. Oh, well, in that case, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to count all the way to three before I call security. Before I go, could I just make one little point? Oh, look who's been downsized. This stinks. I've been dieting for a whole half a day and I haven't even lost a pound. Sabrina, I found that the key to losing weight is eating the right foods. Who are you channeling? The other day I saw you put sugar on bacon. Lean bacon. There's got to be something in here that will help me fit in my dress. Hey, look at this ad. "Thanks to Blubber-Be-Gone, I lost 50 pounds in three days." That's ridiculous. What'd he do, lop off a leg? Here goes. "Thin my thighs, lose my roll, make me skinnier than Manute Bol." Ooh! I see you called me in the nick of time. I did? Losing weight the Blubber- Be-Gone way is easy. Whenever you're hungry, instead of eating food, just mix yourself a shake. Taste? Not bad; although I still prefer ipecac. SALEM: Excuse me, but I think we've met before. Weren't you selling that turn-your-eye-gunk- into-gold kit a few years ago? No, that must have been my brother. Happy dieting. This is great. I'm going to lose weight, I'm going to look fantastic in my new special dress, and I'll be elected queen of the ball. Right. And one of these days, my pink eye is going to pay off big. Oh, no. Woman's pump at 10:00. Oh, so how does it feel being the, uh... little guy? What's that? Earthquake? Mm. Mm. Mm. Blech! And now, for the moment of truth. It fits! The shakes worked. Hi, there. I thought you might like to try our new flavors. Gaunt grape and lean, mean nectarine. Thanks, but I lost all the weight I had to. I don't need any more shakes. You really think so? You guys must work on commission. As you can plainly see, I... (gasps) look awful. I'll take two cases. Quick, before the firemen have to come and cut me out of my bedroom. Hey, by the way, how did your meeting go with the president of Everything Emporium? Not bad. At first, it wasn't going well, but then he had, uh... metamorphoses. Either you're up to something, or... No, that's it. You're up to something. Mmm, Sabrina, you've got to try these croissants. They're just like Grandma used to make. Well, not my grandma, but someone's grandma who knew how to bake. No, thanks. I had a raisin earlier and, boy, am I stuffed. Sabrina, you're looking awfully skinny. You're not still on that diet, are you? Me? No, I'm fine. Hey, do I see a little scalp up there? (gasps) (gasps) Don't tell me. I've inherited the Spellman gene for a keister the size of Manhattan. Oh, I knew it. It was just some sort of spell. And yet the insecurity about my butt won't go away. I think it's time to bring back suspenders. Sabrina, we have to talk. Oh, well, I only have a little while before Harvey picks me up for the dance and your stern lectures tend to eat up the clock. Not only are these things a scam, but they can cause serious side effects. But I have to lose weight. Like making you think you have to lose weight. Come here, look in the mirror. No, not the mirror! It's so cruel and unforgiving! Not anymore. That creepy salesman put a spell on it, but I deactivated it. See? What are you talking about? It's like looking at a picture of William Howard Taft. Oh, no. All this dieting has affected you psychologically. You can't see that you're so thin, you're practically sick. Oh, well, what good is my health if I'm not Queen? No more shakes. Fine! Force me to live with this obscene obesity. You know, Aunt Zelda is so unfair. I know it seems unfair now, but someday when you're older and wiser, you'll be able to look back on all this and get revenge. Hey... one more shake wouldn't hurt and it would be wrong to waste perfectly good guar gum. Hilda, here's an interesting news item. "Everything Emporium president missing." Oh, look, Larry King likes the new Ludlum novel. Did you have anything to do with this? No. Robert Ludlum has his own publicist. Oh, you mean the Everything Emporium president? Yes. He was bugging me, so I turned him into one. Ginger beer? A bug? Hilda, you've got to change him back. He is in a perfectly humane situation now that I gave him air holes. SABRINA: I wonder if that last milk shake made any difference. I certainly feel lighter. Salem, help! I've disappeared! (gasps): I'm so sorry. Hey, twirl me around so it looks like I'm flying. SABRINA: What's happened? ! Where am I? ! You've dieted until you've disappeared. Now I'm starting to wonder if you can be too rich. There has to be a potion in here somewhere. You need an Other Realm camera. Everyone knows those cameras add a hundred pounds. (doorbell rings) That's Harvey! Order me a camera, now! Come on, Sabrina. We're not going to be able to vote for ourselves if we're late. Self-opening door? Cool. Not very safe, but cool. (running footfalls) Has the camera arrived yet? Yes! Finally. Hurry up and take my picture. Could we take another one? I think your eyes were closed. Sabrina, I'm down here when you're ready! And sorry to anyone I woke up. SABRINA: I'll be right there. Okay, everything's going to be fine. Uh-oh. You think that happened because we didn't use name-brand film? Oh, look, it says the camera only brings you back for a few minutes. So much for "Take a picture, it'll last longer." And you'll start to flicker whenever you're about to disappear. Like that. Quick, take another picture. Okay. This time I want to get a little more creative. You got a wind machine handy? Just shoot me. Okay. Great. I'm going to have to take the camera to the dance with me and keep having my picture taken. Don't let anyone else in the picture. If people aren't flickering out, they'll gain a hundred pounds. And to think I used to complain when I got a run in my stocking. I keep him in a little glass jar, which I refer to as "Oz." Uh-oh. Jailbreak. You lost him? Oh, perfect. Thanks to your overreacting, I get to spend my Friday night looking for a cockroach with my sister. Oh, come on. This is stuff that keeps us young. Ooh! I think I see a dropping. You look terrific. Do you think so? Because this is more of a standing-up dress than a sitting-down dress. I thought we'd be standing up more. It's too bad your car doesn't have a sunroof. You look terrific. So, what's up with the camera? Oh, you know, I wanted to preserve the memories of our big night. Uh, did you drop your left cuff link? What was that? Northern lights? (upbeat music playing) Sabrina, that dress is fantastic. Really? You don't think it makes me look too hippy? ¶ ¶ My eyes are acting weird. Oh, I saw something about that on 20/20. The best thing to do is keep them closed. Hey, could you take my picture? Sure. Smile. Oh, no! Harvey! Sorry, your eyes always come out red. Oh! Got him. No, that's a real roach. (shrieks) Wait a minute. I know exactly what we need. HILDA: A roach motel? Zelda, this guy is a captain of industry. There's no way he'd stay at a motel. Okay, fine. The roach Carlton. Nice. Except for the faint smell of boric acid, I'd give it four stars. Never seen a camera like this before. Just push the button, Avedon. Picture? ! Mrs. Quick, no! Mrs. Quick, we've got to get you out of here. Now don't get too upset, okay? There's got to be a simple explanation. It's a bee sting, isn't it? Okay. I thought I heard buzzing earlier, but I attributed it to my tinnitus. P.A. ANNOUNCER: The next dance is for our King and Queen nominees, and then it's time for everyone to vote. Mrs. Quick, don't panic, okay? We're going to rush you to the hospital. The doctors are going to take care of you. Everything will be fine. I just need one minute. Got him. I knew he couldn't resist that thumbnail- sized Toblerone. Thank goodness. Zap him back so we can go home. Right. But first a little good-natured torture. Hilda. Where am I? Um... we found you wandering out in the street. I-I think you may have hit your head. Do you feel all right? Do you perhaps feel like you now understand what it's like to be the little guy in constant fear of unfeeling giants? No. I feel strong. In fact, I feel like I could withstand a nuclear holocaust. I suppose this means you're going to go ahead and build your Everything Emporium now. What? I'm going to climb Mount Everest. Bike across Death Valley. I'm going to eat my weight in garbage. Why would I want to waste my indestructableness on business? See? I told you overreacting would work. Harvey, stop fidgeting. Try and look like we're having a good time. I feel like all we're being judged on is how we look. How do I look? Gorgeous. Now will you stop asking me that? Stop yelling at me. Nobody's going to vote for us if it looks like we're fighting. But do I really look okay? Okay, I'm sorry. Let's just dance. Got to go. Dreama, have you seen my camera? No, but you can use mine. Look for it, please. Something tells me this is about more than a camera. Thank you for helping me back here. My pleasure. I was feeling a little disoriented. Ooh, I wonder if I could scurry up those curtains. Come on, Hilda, let's go. Call the elevator. I'll be right there. (chuckling) I'm beginning to think you have a problem. And now, the moment everyone's been waiting for. The King and Queen of this year's Snowflake Ball are... Harvey Kinkle and Sabrina Spellman! (cheering) Sabrina? I thought dancing alone was embarrassing. I can't believe she's missing this. Hello, um, I'm really grateful for the honor and all, but since Sabrina's disappeared, maybe you guys should pick somebody else. SABRINA: No! Sabrina? Ow, my foot! Sorry. Dreama, do me a favor. Go onstage and stall them until I can find the camera, would you? Okay, but only because people are starting to think I'm talking to myself. SABRINA: Here I am in my moment of glory and no one can see me. Too bad I'm not a bigger fan of irony. She's really levelheaded and pretty down to earth. Is that girl talking about me? Yeah, I voted for Sabrina, too. I mean, she's nice and she definitely doesn't follow the pack. Oh, great, I dieted until I became invisible and spent a load of money on a dress and they voted for me because I don't normally do that. I'm back. All I needed to restore myself was a little self-esteem. And I definitely don't need to diet. In fact, if I don't eat something, I'm going to keel over. Mrs. Quick! Sorry about your dress. Oh, that's okay. If you don't mind, I think I'll keep this for the next time I swell up. It happens fairly often. Well, the good news is, we didn't have to go to the emergency room. Yeah, I suppose you're right. Although part of me was looking forward to all of the excitement. And now my personal favorite, Mr. Bunny Rabbit. (crowd groans) Hey, where have you been? Awash in social pressure, but I'm back, and I've got something I'm going to say. Well, don't tell the story about the two priests on the golf course, 'cause Dreama already did that. It got a laugh. I just want to say that I've learned an important lesson tonight. I realized that what a person looks like on the outside doesn't matter half as much as what she's like on the inside. I think this belongs to Sabrina. Or Allan Carr. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for hygiene and grooming, but thanks to you, I'll be keeping it all in perspective. QUICK: This is a moment she'll never want to forget. Say cheese. Mrs. Quick, no! So there we were receiving our crowns when suddenly Sabrina ballooned out. She was huge. At this time, we think a rogue bee may have been the culprit. Wow. I hope she wasn't planning to wear it to the prom. Well, I'm sure Sabrina will be fine. Thanks for bringing her home. (crickets chirping) SABRINA: Is the coast clear? Oh, I've learned my lesson. I'm never starving myself again. Honey, just remember. It you just eat right and get regular exercise, you'll never have a problem. SALEM: Mm. It's always worked for me. Are there any more apple delights? THis is one of the great careers. You don't last that long witbout being very smart. You just don't. It's too complicated. It's too competitive. There's too much stuff going on. You get your ego in it. He never did that. He has the personal power to play mysthic characters. They are archangels almost. They come in, they disappear. Where they came from, you don't know. These are things that appeal to tbe psyche of people. One of the main things He's done in his career is legitimize things that you would not think would immediately have tbe kind of legitimacy. The outlaw character. We were used to cowboy heroes. He made the outlaw a Hero. He's like Giacometti, you know. He tries to cut His work down till it gets to primal energy till it gets to be something tbat's absolutely specific so tbat there is nothing else you can interpret from it. He's part of the culture. A big part of the culture of everyone who's alive in America. Everybody knows who he is. Most people eitber consciously or unconsciously respect who he is are informed by who be is. He guards a certain innocence wihin himself. Not to psychoanalyze somebody that I have no business psychoanaIyzing. But I feel like tbere is something fresh in tbe way be sees things. It seems odd, doesn't it? THat this Western guy is in love with tbe blues and tbe feeling of pain in those songs. And jazz that feeds His soul as well. He Has continually challenged Himself and by doing that be bas made it difficult to get tired of bim. So the big surprise for everybody turns out to be that.... Guess what? He was serious all along. In 1993 Clint Eastwood's Unforgiven won four Academy Awards including Best Picture and Best Director. It's just.... It's just been very nice because I've been directing films for 23 years out of the 39 I've been in tHe business and this comes out of the small films I've made¸: Tbe Honkytonk Mans, and the Bronco Billys, and Beguiled in 1969 and a Iot of films where I thougbt I took chances. Eastwood discovered His artistry as His audiences did gradually, over time. He invented a new kind of movie Hero and then, as He matured sharply criticized His creation. He Has never limited Himself to one genre or one kind of filmmaking moving freely between mass-market entertainments and small, personal projects. Eastwood is an elusive artist an intensely private man who reveals Himself only through His work. Today, He remains a complex, contradictory and essential figure in American culture. I did fall in love with Him the minute He was born. And I don't think I ever fell out. He was the biggest baby born in St. Francis hospital in San Francisco. They took him all around to show tbe other ladies what they might have done. So it was kind of fun. lt started out fun. I was raised during tbe not-so-great depression. We didn't know tbe difference as kids. We just knew what you knew. We couldn't afford tbe movies. Those days were very poor. We didn't do anything very extra. They got His father a job in a gas station down in Los Angeles. He was Happy to Have it. We all trekked down there. We did that for a year. We lived in Redding and Sacramento and Pacific palisades and back to Sacramento and all over tbe place so you got a feeling of being on the road. "So I lost my woman, and you lost your man "And wbo knows wbo's right or who's wrong" Drifting Has always been fascinating to me because in that period of time, in the '30s adults did drift. Honkytonk Man was a Depression-era film about a guy who could write songs and do a little bit of entertaining but existing on the road during that period. I remember, you remember those things. Sometimes they're the things that you remember the most. "though it's true "You can't even pray it at night" Sometimes we'd move out to a farm. Tbere were no kids around. Tbe nearest kid may be four, five miles down tbe road. Maybe you went to a scbooI, met a few, but you didn't really know anybody. So you played with imaginary playmates. His toys were interesting. They all talked and did things that other children didn't do. And so He was always the new boy on the block. I think tbat bad an effect on bim in tbe sense of making bim yet more sHy. I think He's naturally shy. He never got very good grades. His pleasures I tbink were, you know, tbe pleasures of a kid wbo was alone. That's wben be taught himself to play tbe piano. I used to sneak down into a saloon in downtown Oakland when I was 16 and I'd play at night. THe guys, they'd feed me pizzas and give me all the beer I wanted to drink. Once in a while, I'd get a tip or something. We bad lots of pbonograpb records, that we indulged in. I remember when Fats Waller died. THe year He died, she came Home with a bunch of records and said¸: "Now that He's died, they may become scarce. " THen I started getting into modern jazz. And I saw charlie Parker on a few occasions but the first time at the Jazz at the philharmonic. I Had Heard of Him, but Hadn't Heard much of His stuff. WHen He starts playing, you go¸: "where does a person learn to play like that... "...when nobody else is playing like that?" I was in tHe military during the Korean War. Many younger actors bad been drafted in tbe service and tbey were tbere. David Janssen was a little buddy of mine. So I thought¸: "Well, I'll maybe try it. " THe impression I Had was of a kid kind of really groping around for who He was. Even acting was something that, you know, kind of Happened to Him. Tbe tbree young men featured in tbis scene Rex Reason, Grant williams and clint Eastwood were discovered and developed right here on our lot. Just like all tbe otber people, be didn't know wbat be was talking about. Tbat's funny. You'd tbink be'd know sometbing. He's as blind as you are. WHen I was signed at Universal, actually He was in tHe class. The result tbat tbey wanted were stars then. And tbey wanted to mold tbem into elegant women and He-men. And Clint was a perfect subject for that because He was a phenomenal listener. Was He interested in acting? I think very much so. THey weren't exactly the HigH-grade pictures of the day, but they were experience. Dropping napalm. follow an order. Hey, I tbink I bear surf. Yeab, I feel a ground swell. Tbe beach must be dead abead. Dr. bell's waiting for bim in surgery, sir. -Wbat is it, will? -TeIepbone, Dr. Parker. those contract players were just.... You were just journeymen. You were there to be called upon. In my case, I was always the lab technician. Didn't you say tbat tbe lower animals bad no natural enemies... -...as long as tbey were well fed? -Sometbing like tbat. We all sort of bung out. Clint didn't Hang out as much with everyone because Clint, I think, to my knowledge, was the only one married. And He was seriously married. Maggie was a batHing-suit model. Gorgeous. SHe was with Him. SHe was His wife, and that was that. SHe was very quiet. A very quiet woman. Clint, you know, was the star. Even before He was the star. Tbey'd bave directors come in wbo were also very important. Brando was probably one of the biggest. Brando didn't want to talk too much about it because I don't think He wanted to intellectualize. I tbink be always looked down on acting as sort of sometbing tbat be sbouIdn't be doing as an American male. And really, tbe only one tbat bad anytbing in common witb Brando in tbat class was clint. Brando played those bongos, and Clint, of course, played piano and they were both aficionados of jazz. both in and out of His Universal classes, Eastwood was learning to be an artist. He developed His skills watching and listening to His favorite performers. From jazz soloists like Lester Young Eastwood learned the lesson of impassivity of keeping your cool while pouring out your Heart. "Cool" Had also been discovered by other artists of the '50s. Figures like James Dean, Jack Kerouac and chet Baker made detachment seem sexy and glamorous. Eastwood watched, and when the time came, remembered. I was tbere for a year and a baIf. until tbey got smart and tbrew me out. Witb notbing but a fine-tootbed comb. Baby, very sad. THe thing at Universal only lasted a couple years and then He was out on His own. THe difference by that time was that He was really determined to be an actor. Now, you edge over a little bit, "Mr. Maverack." I don't want to get a bill for tbat mirror. He did some Maverick episodes. I don't know How many He did. He did one or two. You could just tell clint was going to be somebody. He bad great stage presence. We were both very young at the time. He was offered Rawbide and I remember we were living across the street from each other. I was backing out of my driveway, be was backing out of bis and be said be needed to talk to me because be was offered tbls series. He said: "Wbat sbouId I ask for?" I said: "I don't know, but I tell you wbat not to do. "Just don't get locked up so tight you can't get out. " Tbere's plenty of places to bold tbem off once we're across. I don't tbink tbe wagon will make it across tbe stream. We'II bave to try. But it was pretty obvious that Clint, even though Rowdy was not the lead role He was the outstanding actor. First time I bad a scene witb clint I was playing a Native American. It's good. I pick up wbite man's ways, mission scbool. Mission scbool? And I say: "Quadero bas eaten of tbe dark musbroom." Quadero bas eaten of tbe dark musbroom. His words are witbout sense. Clint started breaking up, and I did too. THe director said¸: "WHat's the matter? "WHat's so funny?" I said: "This kind of reminds me of macbeth." And tbe guy says: "Of course it does. It's a Western rewrite." I die. It is my time. Your coffee is tbe best I ever drink. "Beyond tbe sun "Over tbe mountain "Tbere's a face "My eyes bunger to see" Doing television is great schooling because you're doing things you Have to do on a shoestring. You're doing stories that sometimes aren't so good. Some weeks they're good. Different actors coming in. It gives you an exposure to different ideas different directors. And you start tbinking: "I'd Iike to do it like tbls guy does it." If some are bad, you say: "If I ever get a cbance I won't do it like tbls guy does it." In tHe end, Eastwood spent seven years on Rawbide seven years of frustration, playing a limited character but also seven years of watching, learning and Honing His craft. He would be ready for bigger things when the opportunity presented itself. My agent offered me a job. ItaIian-Spanisb-German co-production. I get to go over tbere and make tbls Western film. I didn't want to do it or even want to read it because I'd been doing rawhide day in and day out for tbe last two or tbree years. I said I wasn't interested in tbat. And be said: "well, I promised tbe Rome office tbat you'd give it a read." I read a few pages of it and right away I was fascinated to see Yojimbo appearing. I Had a vivid recollection of the Kurosawa film. halfway tbrougb tbe picture I said: "Tbis will make a wonderful Western... "...but nobody would ever bave nerve to do it." Get tbree coffins ready. THe mercenary Hero of A fistful of dollars bore a strong resemblance to the lone samurai played by TosHiro Mifune in Akira Kurosawa's classic Japanese film of 1961. Tbe road is public, even dogs can pass. I don't tbink it's nice, you Iaugbing. You see, my mule don't like people Iaugbing. He gets tbe crazy idea you're Iaugbing at bim. Now if you apologize, Iike I know you're going to I migbt convince bim tbat you really didn't mean it. My mistake. Four coffins. I really wanted James Coburn, but He was too expensive. THe Italian cinema is very poor. We got Clint for $15,000. Coburn wanted $25,000. I didn't see any character in Rawbide, only a physical figure. WHat struck me most about Clint was His indolent way of moving. It seemed to me Clint closely resembled a cat. THe communication was a little rough. I knew "arrivederci" and "buongiorno." He knew "goodbye" and "Hello. " And that was it. Sergio Had a very limited english vocabulary. He Had, for example, learned to say¸: "watch me. "CIint, watcb me. "You go.... "And, immediately: Bang! " hello. THe Western was very, very stale in America at that time. john Ford, anthony Mann, Howard Hawks were no longer making them. THere was nobody who was really doing a Western in America. THe people who were, weren't doing anything different. So it kind of came in at an interesting moment in bistory wben tbe Western was dubbed by tbe so-caIIed experts as being dead. Leone didn't feel Himself bound to any mores of the American Western. A man rides in on a 35-year-old Horse very shabby looking, and He sees a man kicking a kid. Sees a woman obviously in a distraught position at the House obviously a prisoner of sorts, and He turns and rides off. I just picked out a lot of wardrobe and brought it all with me. We end up changing the poncho. We found one in Spain that Sergio liked, that green one. Same boots I wore on Rawbide. Cigars, bought them in a store down in Beverly Hills. Tbey were about tbat long. So I bougbt a mess of tbem and I just cbopped tbem up in tbree pieces. I'd always Have a pocketful. I'd Have them in different sizes and lengths. In one scene I bad left off, I'd bave it in one Iengtb. If you jump to a sequence, I'd remember wbere it was. We didn't Have bathrooms. We were out there in this town and there was nothing. Just this facade town. Out in tHe desert. It was 6:45 in tbe morning. I said: "I bave to go to tbe batbroom." He said: "Abb, abb." I tbougbt: "I bave a wboIe desert out tbere and be wants me to go to tbe batbroom... "...rigbt out in tbe middle witb a camera and a reflector and all tbat." I said: "No, no. I'II wait." "Go, go," be said. "We won't look." Clint's acting style reminds me of Gary Cooper. WHat I liked was His calmness. I must bave been like a little jittery, fidgety actor. Agua. Water. I was a member of THe Actors Studio. I was loaded with the method. And He wasn't. Leone's approach to acting was a little overboard. everything is quite heightened. I played bim very, very down under everytbing else being sort of operatic. Instinctively, Eastwood knew what to give Leone. He gave Him a myth, an archetype a figure who would be both more and less than Human. Eastwood placed His performance not in words but in movement and gesture. For more than a decade in tHe business, Eastwood Had learned to Hold back to create a sense of mystery around Himself. It was as if He said to His audience¸: "l'm no longer going out to meet you. "From now on, you come to me. " Clint Eastwood was 36 years old and His career was about to begin. clint said wben be was leaving: "I've done tbree of tbese movies... "...and I'm going bome now and I'm going to bave my own.... "I'm going to do it myself." And I tbougbt: "Tbat's smart." Back in tHe States, many critics dismissed the Italian Westerns as cynical and mindlessly violent. And Eastwood was attacked for seeming cold and inexpressive a killer without scruples. But the public knew that something different Had come on the scene an action Hero who wasn't buying the old myths who was wised up, street-smart and dangerous. WHen He returned to Hollywood as a star, His agents and managers urged Him to build a career as a conventional leading man in studio pictures. But Eastwood Had something else in mind. Unlike the stars of the studio era He would not be a passive participant in His own career. I came back.... I was offered a big film called McKenna's Gold a big expensive extravaganza. My agents wanted me to do it in tbe worst way but I never liked it, never liked tbe script. But I wanted to do this thing, Hang 'Em Higb. We formed Malpaso and just went ahead and did that instead. WHen Eastwood set up Malpaso He created the production company that remains His Home today. Malpaso allowed Him to take control of His image. THe second movie I made back in tHe States was Coogan's bluff. I was looking for somebody new tbat migbt be an interesting cboice as a director. And I said¸: "Well, they keep talking about a guy named Don Siegel. " So I went back and I looked at some Siegel films. Madigan, and Tbe Invasion of tbe Body Snatcbers, of course which is one of the great B-movies of all time. Don SiegeI was a montage director at Warner Brotbers in tbe '40s. Tbe montages, tbe passage of time, tbat sort of tbing. For montages, you bad to be very clear about tbe images and very precise because it bad to tell a Iot in 10 or 15 seconds. In fact, He did the montages in casablanca. THen by train, or auto, or foot across the rim of Africa to Casablanca in french Morocco. Don SiegeI was almost tbe last of a certain kind of breed of directors. He did what one would call B-budget movies. Baby Face nelson. Taut little movies done in a very lean, efficient style. I tbougbt: "well, tbls'II be fun." He seems to know bis stuff and so we went abead and made tbe movie. Tbis isn't tbe O.K. corral around bere. Tbis is tbe city of New York. We've got a system. Not mucb, but we're fond of it. We don't like it wben some two-for-a-nickeI cowboy tbinks be can bend it out of sbape. Coogan's bluff was a stepping stone into the modern world. It was a little bit of a Western cbaracter but contemporary. Tben be goes to New York and in a sense it is, I tbink, almost a precursor of tbe Dirty Harry cbaracter. Looking for Jimbo? Don Siegel invited me to come by tHe set of Coogan's bluff. And I Hung around late into the night watching them work. He moved fast. He was used to moving fast doing small budget pictures on tight schedules. One thing struck me very noticeably. I'd been around enough sets to know that this was unusual which was that the star, Clint Eastwood, never left the set between setups. He never went to His trailer or went to tbe pbone or wbatever. He just bung around and watcbed. Eastwood observed Siegel as intently as He Had observed Leone. But He would learn even more from Siegel. He became Eastwood's most important mentor. And of all the cars to borrow, why mine? You just don't like him. Never gave me a chance. This shouldn't be about Danny, it should be about us. I care about you. I'm sorry, A.J. Hi. Did you come to take my mother to lunch? You screwed with me, son. I don't really care about that, but you're keeping your mother from being happy and you ought to be ashamed of yourself. She is happy. And I'm happy. It's not our job to make you happy. Still driving a rental car? I'll be sending you the bill, boy. I never consented to marriage with Mustafa. I accepted him only as a friend of my father's. A friend of the family. I spent many hours in their home. Fatimah was always happy to see me. I was a child. You brought me presents. I thought of you as a favourite uncle, not a suitor. Fatimah's father came to me with her promise. - He signed the kitab. - He signed the kitab. I did not. - Her father was her wali. - Objection. Fatimah was 18. Her father was no longer entitled to serve as her wali without her consent. Thank you, Miss MacKenzie. But Islamic tribunals do not follow formal courtroom procedures. Those who are asked to testify may speak as they wish. Thank you for your guidance, imam. Fatimah, did you discuss this marriage with your father? I told him I would not go through with it. Did you ever express your rejection to Mr. Al-Jimri directly? No. I never saw him after my father announced the betrothal. So the marriage was not consummated? No, it was not. Hearing this, Mustafa, tell us why do you wish to see this marriage declared valid? Fatimah is still young, imam. She is wilful. Our marriage was not arranged lightly. It unites two houses that share many interests. If it pleases the panel, shouldn't we consider whether Fatimah's interests were being served? I do not have to answer to her. I have done no wrong. Fatimah accepted her marriage. Accepted it where? Accepted it how? She took ownership of my mahr, the dowry. The dowry was placed in her name by a contract her father set up. - There was no action on her part. - Not until she sold it. According to the kitab, the dowry was a villa in Spain. Did you sell the property? - Yes. - And you kept the proceeds? You must be aware that accepting the mahr is tantamount to consent to the marriage. But we have Shahada, supporting testimony, that will shed some light on this matter, from the best friend of the princess, my daughter. Aneesa. Aneesa. Repeat after me: Now tell us what you know. When my family moved to Washington, Fatimah was very envious. She told me she hated Al Khair. She wanted to run away. That's why she sold the villa. And what else did she tell you? She wanted to come to America. She said she was going to find an American and marry him. Go on. And when she didn't need him anymore, she could stay in America. She would be free. It sounds like a washing machine. The world's most beautiful washing machine. Oh, my back is killing me, Bud. Oh, I told you to stop lifting little baby A.J. Oh, yeah. You stay at home with a 2-year-old and don't lift him. Sorry for the delay. It's been a madhouse here this morning. How are you feeling? My gut's the size of a roast pig, and my ankles look like bolognas and my back feels like a Cuisinart. She's been a little hungry. Oh, that's not hunger. Lieutenant Sims, you're in labour. Now? No, I have four weeks. Well, I guess no one told the baby. It is true. I did say those things. And I did go looking for someone to help me get away. And I am glad that I did. Because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have found you. But you already had a husband. Not in my eyes. My father arranged that marriage when I was 14. Did you object to the arrangement at that time? It didn't seem real at that time. Besides, in my family we didn't often object to my father's wishes. Did you make any preparations to be married? No! I was in school. I was learning about the world. And then I realised that I wasn't going to be allowed to be a part of it. That my world, my life, had all been decided for me. And so I decided to leave. And I would do it again. You would do it again with a dowry given to you by another man? I was frightened. What if things didn't work out with Jimmy? My family would have disowned me. I would have nothing. Nothing? Actually, you would have $575,000 in a Swiss bank. You doing okay? I don't know, sir. She never told me about any of that. You know, you have your own trial to concentrate on. Don't lose sight of that, huh. God, I wouldn't even be on trial, sir, if she'd never told me she loved me. Will you excuse me, sir? I just... I just wanna walk. How is he? Well, he's doing pretty good, considering. Do you think she ever really loved him? It doesn't look like that matters. - Breathe, Harriet, breathe. - I am breathing. We need to come up with a better game plan for that next contraction. You're doing just fine. - Let's just have a look at you. - Okay. You're going to feel a little pressure. A little pressure might be a nice change. Where's Dr. Gettis? He was due in here 10 minutes ago. - I don't know. I paged him. - Get him in here. - What is it? - I need you to roll over on your side. - I need Dr. Gettis right away. - Okay. Get that pillow down. Yes. - Don't push yet. - What's happened? Just something the doctor needs to look at. They can't find him. I've got Dr. Chadway. Doctor, we have a prolapsed cord. The baby's heart rate is showing decels. Yes, sir. I'm maintaining pressure on the baby's head. Yes, sir. Is there something wrong with the baby? - Hey, it's okay. Everything's fine. - What? - It's okay. - Get some techs in here. Chadway will meet us in the OR. Try not to push on your next contraction. You may have to have a caesarean section. Your baby's head is pressing against the umbilical cord. Bud? - Excuse me. - It's all right. I'm here. Honey? - Let's go. - Bud! Coming through. OR 3. She's here. Let's go. - Oh, Bud! It hurts. - Hang in there, sweetie. Try not to push. Stay with me, Bud! I'm right here, honey. Where's Dr. Gettis? In the name of God, the most gracious and merciful, I ask that you honour the rights of this young woman. Are you claiming that she has a right to take a mahr without repercussion? No, only asking that this Tribunal not use that mistake to take away her other rights. Recall that the woman who tutored the prophet's wives, chastised even the great Khalifa Umar, Commander of the Believers. "Why do you deny us a right granted us by God?" The rights granted women by the Koran are sacrosanct. As are a woman's obligations according to the Koran. Parents have obligations too. The Hadith tells us the story of Khansa whose father married her to a man against her wishes. The prophet himself revoked the marriage. The prophet also said that righteous women are devoutly obedient. Miss al-Amatullah was obedient, to the knowledge of her own heart. Marriage is a mithaq, a solemn covenant. It can't be entered into by misguided action. If Fatimah resisted the marriage in a wrong manner, she resisted it for a right reason. Islam taught her that women are independent, free to make contracts, free to pursue education, free to consent to their own marriages. Even if she erred, the Koran tells us that God is merciful and forgives much. Should we not aspire to do the same? Petty Officer Elling, we've heard evidence that you forged documents, that you fraudulently obtained transportation from Al Khair to the United States for your wife. Objection. The status of the defendant's alleged married is currently being litigated in another venue. I'll rephrase. Petty officer, we've heard that you broke several laws in order to bring a young woman to the U.S. Yes, sir. A woman you intended to marry. - Yes, sir. - Petty officer, we would like to know how you felt when you risked so much to bring this woman into the country. Yes, sir. I guess I was in love. You fell in love with a princess. Romantic. I didn't know she was a princess at first, sir. She was just Fanny. Fatimah Fareeeha Taarhira al-Amatullah. Not at all like the kind of girl you'd meet back in Illinois? Actually, sir, not that different. When did you find out she was a princess? When I asked her on a date, sir. She told me she wasn't allowed to be seen with me in public. And yet you spent time together anyway. We used to meet at the Botanical Garden. Nobody much went there. We'd just walk and talk. While you were in Al Khair, the only time you had together were these few stolen moments? Mostly. We spent a night together in a jeep once. Well, I'm sure the members get the picture. Not like that, sir. I got an urgent message from Ops. My mom was having an operation to diagnose a tumour. It was my mom. I felt like I was a million miles away. Fanny held me all night. Just held me, till I could call my dad and know my mom was okay. Why do you suppose Fanny did that, petty officer? Because she loves me. You're sure about that? Yes, I am, sir. And how do you feel about her? I love her with all my heart, sir. And so you broke these laws so the two of you could be together? - Yes, I did, sir. - And you'd do it all again? No, sir. It was wrong, sir. I did it without thinking. It got me in trouble, which I accept full responsibility for. It made trouble for the Navy, which I would fix if I could, but I can't. And it got Fanny in terrible trouble. Her life is at risk for wanting to be with me. I'm sorry about all of it. I really am. How long has the cord been prolapsed? Since right before we called you, Dr. Chadway. Foetal heart rate is falling again. - She had an epidural? - Two hours ago. All right. Prepare for a C-section. - Bud! - The head's too far down. Get me a vacuum and call Neonatal for resuscitation at delivery. I'll take it from here, Dr. Chadway. - Where have you been, Dr. Gettis? - With another patient. Okay, Harriet, the next contraction, get ready to push. Petty Officer Elling. Would you and your counsel please stand? You may announce the sentence. Petty Officer Third Class James Elling, in consideration of your plea of guilty to all charges and specifications and your declared remorse, this court-martial sentences you to be reduced to the rank of seaman and to forfeit $500 pay per month for three months. Members, thank you for your service. This court-martial is adjourned. - No brig time? - No brig time. I gotta go see Fanny, sir. Yes, you do. Hey. Hey. You won? No brig time. You on a break? No, we're done. You lost? They said that my marriage to Mustafa was valid. No. You don't have to go back, do you? No, I divorced him. I gave back the mahr. The money from the villa. Divorced? Just like that? Oh, Islamic law has some interesting wrinkles. So you and I, we're not really married? We can be if you take this. My mahr. Your phone card? There's almost $12 on it. It's all I have. Yes, I will marry you. You know, it still may take some doing to keep her in the country. Well, she's officially an adulteress now so she can't go home. That strengthens our asylum claim. Well, I give you exhibit A. Judge sees that, can't hurt. Here you go, gentlemen. So what are we drinking to? Women who appreciate the truth. Let me know when you find one. How about women who give a rat's rump about our feelings? Our mothers. - To Mom. - To Mama. Hello? Hi. Yeah, I can do that. Twenty minutes. Bye. Fraternising with the enemy, Mic? More likely malinger with intent. And if I get lucky, a little unlawful detention. Good night, sir. Tell Colonel MacKenzie I expect her on her post at 0800. He takes it up. He's running with it. He's on a clear field. Nobody to challenge him... Oh, hell, I don't even like this game. Lieutenant, what are you doing here? Harriet went into labour, sir. She's sleeping now. I didn't know where else to go. You had the baby. No wonder you look like hell, huh? Sir, Baby Sarah died. a one-piece recruiting the whole truth and nothing but the truth as I see it not see ya this particular journey started about a week ago when I got worse have a Sasquatch sightings up to Smokey Mountains Tennessee so off we went in search of the elusive Tennessee big cock course we didn't find it not even a single hair but you know there are some there's just one problem set up the moment that you stop searching for something is the exact moment you find it lil sometimes something even better largely no I don't know if that's a problem or just someone fortune cookie I got some time anyone on okay so we're driving back on through the back was a Georgia I was stumble across something unusual I and II mention it was a dark and stormy night a with a 130 it all was not like that four-nation hello like balls of the family joined you miss the time and why thank you haha wonderful weekend okay look I'm sorry we didn't find a Tennessee big for you know he held a six-hour interview with his right hand KL people respond doing here anyway yeah legitimacy to the website the other taste to reality that's interesting was a college right guidelines thanks now with I know I came when i say more process you've ever been taking effect twenty thing like that on the which hand-to-hand white like matching I like bath stop with with T call 911 a tits guide good T goodnight you want to hear the the guys the best suppliers good guide point where to go and disappeared math go check grand got for you who's boss gotta there go with yeah i win a a ok good budget a my Cassie that was earning what she was doing on the middle of the woods covered with blood was the complete mystery she said that something attacked their car and then it had taken oblation Brandon done well clearly tried to calm down Jason I searched the woods but we came up empty the Sun was coming up and we had to get cash his mind do do drew national good the citizens are on his mouth for a little slow on the uptake but they want what was bothering Klein it was the town itself pushed in his hand Tom Smith I and I'm seems familiar and got here okay some rest yeah it's here thank you so much for helping her forget not the words koresh you find a place then not far from the vehicle my check let's get it over the dugout alright come under a is he okay she should do something about it yeah final Jim Beam have she kept saying and well here we have to bear problem appear from time to time by express care right now since the Soviet collapse good okay and lets in a bit see not the school common I going on good was chairman there there she's in shock right now they're willing for Sonos was a man you're looking for Lana mister near the Interstate 90 a las and no the in a statement appear to make a right stoplight just keep going you can't miss it always want to thank you which got here have saved room sad situation I'm take I just the feeling I had a town on Rails this year at what you heard guys let's just let it go to get a minute ago you wonder what you are doing I'm wondering about the friend and somewhat suspicious motor shaft broke it allen Smith that that light when you call it your place I'm here i'm looking for. line like six o'clock in the morning when she tried her place as may should be yours 2011 probably sleeping in your bed hey it's Derek I mean rats are on the way to surf the web so I leave a message on I'll cab pickup we need your help how is big but a bust got to their so kept I'm the fracking a hard choice yet can you do me a favor can you check the case there for a book called case histories and diagnostic manual of mental disorders sure to my book mind at a BART you ended up with that I got great can you see it entry at their part 01 spell georgette durocher I'm not with the day 1973 there and is headed to town and 30 seven-year are mad president got a boyfriend no injuries psychotic break with reality what up and when I got to top said he saw some kinda or Scott it says here close I'm kinda each you home I'm well event yeah what you guys doing I'll just no detour probably nothing you well one thing I'd anybody no was the deal she's smitten you noticed in your perfume and Blanche your pillow smell good 21 and up a sweet smelling pillows comfortable bed sounds pretty good to me you don't professionally speaking I'd like to explore the shops restaurants outsiders is compelling desire for insularity as it relates to the local community good you on lapses big butts and I shall and accepts some for the website you know maybe you have some here 10,001+ 28 year old so what you official member other for healing school at night this open right I I thank you both for a very lovely we hit this guys going on now mama Wednesday is my buddy Jason right here haha okay on dream on this website and we late we had a late lead paranormal stuff and I wanted to ask you public questions go right ahead yeah years on the road with your bike girlhood last the Wichita KS yeah know brandon has trends on health yes then search for securing palm yeah tire shop can manifest national champ I I could use a hand up I'd like that hard I oh my gosh for the side very of town I'll a month so I'm Yahoo's class you know their proper place goes out their problems goes on he cut the atrium take mom made he has been shot down over trying for five years old person haha got all torn up yeah and there is a just peace is every level you on that may be the wise men all now I think the holes I'm knows the pressure haha a I'm not as they get some bears okay he honestly believe that glass happened now what your hand no we don't we instead he put it on the net I down last night pretty weird for Ashton I i'm not yeah you to confirm it from the white I they will find you ghost spares some kind of ancient evil a lot of different people and a lot of different a rich finally we found something we we found Brandon done how charter yeah yeah %ah yeah grand and got him even more TDS fast hey I'm Brian Froud got a laugh do near of have yeah my flat bread you get it dress yeah height %ah got %ah shack at last night I'm gonna be a filmmaker it's really good know how I am good said hey what happened he defy her camp freaked out yeah she's pretty messed up yeah I've seen rain and a near tried his hand Yahoo Answers yeah and these folks around now the Arab state as well for a swim meet friends probably just hungover sleep and then offer a message a day how hard their share after you know I'm I got brain is def can't kick his ask my finds out about his car oh my god Sarah I how our little movies at home so it came time later maybe yeah oh yeah okay I have totally okay I'm I'll on okay after this party last night where everybody go on we all laughed I mean am i Brandon casas de he pitched in 10 now I'm a million president ahaaa hoping to get them you know how I'm come and that not all bad you cram a minute they have that I like yeah yeah why not things happen wrote anything I people that been happening for years yeah we heard you guys had a bit of a bear problem had to happen a lot but you know and have fun at you got to get you mad you know what I mean hey I was thinking about making a movie about it you now like that when they came out with the kids run around the world and you know that one yeah yeah I way hey you guys are not here your mom movie and you know no of course not ok I'm that's alright for thank you so much I'll ok only I'm got could you show us where Brandon pitched his tent home black ok well I'm cuz now I'm can I know the excitement I drop my purse be when you can be in smaller dog I okay yeah share by I can get back to work how are trying another four hours yeah yeah yeah anti-trust map I hand turn left at the ravine and their intense a a it a it a a a alright a I I the I think it over there a the mall all poll it a long maintained and ball Brandon Dunn help ran out of time watch didn't get them all okay are you guys ok we're going in the right direction addition the cars this way right now I'm not approved RU I slight take it gotcha alright you put it darkness just hold it all right she gut shouldn't be out here we were on warehouse million nine your car is that way getting it and go you're going to end up like dat boi back to hear time okay C car do going in the weekend my yeah LLC I don't care what he said was a lot better now they want action ok he wants it all to go away yeah I can relate but you leave this morning yeah well keep getting lost when it's raining down hill is he sleeping it off after a hunt trying to protect Cassie but you know you debt and my suspicions somewhere in the middle of the nature situation here collects last year the department official game Tom in this whole area sir I prepare problem rank we heard that too look just tell us what's going on light what's going on is either dead boy and a town full aboard beer drinkers are the side that had not a killer bears their sole purpose in life side and so as I'm end up in the tree cougar most likely were get a cougar problem now too huh and ear called the food chain ever hear it right to check I'm about this guy with the gun it scares after death general car-- you that man alone he's harmless you're right share I'll you ever hear many engine evil lurking around in these ones and chin you don't like it and do me a favor but get outta my town I see you guys again I'm gonna rest is for pissing me off movie well thank you do know it's a free country right no the same the country men's tones mouth and the day I wanna livor don't want to get a good look at Brandon do what these what's left of them gonna put their chewed off on a website ocean you are sick and disgusting me the local bonior we had to get in get the goods and get out know how to do that without arousing suspicion are lining up in jail it would take stealth subterfuge and two oscar caliber from chechen nor shall I have chasen they I'm without being to endemic if I might ask what was mister scheck looking to spend money so much its and she grammy tell him all day 0 she was fantastic and an offer to John here if you'd like we can step into shower room and discuss some possibility can use a restroom first certainly down of and to your I scared it will alright about to come okay all now haha all I'm my sky of do if you'll excuse me I'm I'm just going to make sure that mister helps isn't lost go jump up with me I will not let gramm it really be laid to rest by establishment doesn't even have toilet paper city guide for the toilet seat I mean who knows what kinda bill and diseases ramp the okay you've got the modem not that bright I yeah its cable to help on I'm on the South climbs on I now it is 13 okay now I'm Senate president at like I like you right I'm love %uh god what am I supposed to do with this information local cops is that a fair bit of and you think fake but didn't know how route 61 look take this to the animal guide to while it's just that for check getting I want you to confirm or deny a bear by if it is in a bear I ate his best guess as what might have done it like okay thanks running and running Dec that be careful yet whether fight a now I'm do are I'm on I'm do I'm 0 do I'm do the %uh now today I'm here girl yeah okay let's work so you know got the largest collection highlights magazine go yeah great time here are definitely special he said silence congress probably have a three-year cycle everything like yours suspects when this whole area was settled there's gotshall's going to what you're telling me is that every 30 nurses police beat reporter stock he owns and Bruce writing for food talk to ya and eating all the locals comic that's not really all the topic happened 1973 and that man was time to talk in the west senior John Lockhart on your present karna hai stocks higher sweetie pie I'm not Press on my part stress now what we want that do you think it's up to you give his opinion on this whole affair parents so I see less so what's the deepest darkest I do love %uh 0 final okay his depiction careful it's crammed when she do it yourself look then you look great the hayride in his styles classes context brusset how long before you can get back to me on this how about a dinner tonight you have to eat right it its kind ever rush situation and in a few hours great Danks the but this is so tomorrow is Friday casualty I'm pretty busy so work for their crimes yeah for help I got some tight what's you know I have a real job many web sites a real job oh okay signed we take a look at this client shops okay the upgrade angst really do good do you it can live in a nice to him ranch alleged to have good from you a Mowat carswell for it huh K on I'm waiting here to talk to John Lockhart about the possibility of there being something and once something deadly and dangers he just pulled up and state of mind right going on for this shot wish a la carte to make I miss a la carte we talked he helped rescue water roll up banner for a first thing they tell you when you confronted with something like this on wednesday is not to panic and not to run it drive gotcha for cable and everybody's afraid of change about said that scary looking house parking all day growling whenever anybody watch past you know the one I'm she walking home alone one day and you see that Doc how long this time he isn't tied up and on the ground starch so you take off running but so is he and he's out for blood and then he cast he's playing faster than you and you try to get your legs go faster afraid to look back but you keep your stratton and you're trying to install pumping in your lungs feel like they're getting started but this guy he's still gaining on Yahoo now this is where I'm going with that and take that feeling multiplayer by about a thousand we're going to begin to understand what it felt like to be chased by that day look at the feeling that can drive any man to try and in skin drink whiskey at turpentine or whatever the hell that crap what's home ways Kathy thanks santa banta command what do you care know about your son is to look on collection and he was in it was in a band and Danny that was it Hey and loom got here the you and the left on line reason we the air so you've been looking for Bladen on now do you it Thunderbird a he/she needs the Native American Legion 100 came from flapping its wings and lightning when he dies this must be met the people started singing cannot cakes here and children it some people believe it migrates honey gets every 30 years that happened on the link to the Appalachian Mountains and ending up here the dispersion of MoSys while Darren wants theory that theory on the skilling white share long as it doesn't believe mess there's got to think what it must to keep going crazy look so you don't have to do this alone I mean we can help you find this is my killing no we don't want kilometer did you update your fools than I thought that things went sleep in for a long time don't know it's going to want to eat then I intend to give aid in digestion have got something is Derek there yeah go there were no teeth marks for such person the phone was cut with a single narrow crash in price showcase Entry Test she gets when its big men have I appeler can about how it came don't they just or swallow fishbowl not I think them what could have been like a vulture or some sorta condor what that was his first shot but the big structured their results in a share in cash it wasn't shared it with thank all narrow crashing alright like appellant yeah I'm oh my god I Blanc get the call me back okay and you to show me a picture of my and that's when he made war now look inviting Thunderbird action even I know with this thing lunch can you do to if you're a true freak a we've all seen the picture Louis writes commentary hey long that's what they said about the scene I can't what especially nevermind I was 16 2010 and it's about to be blown out of the water five ish what a a pterodactyl many stranded on actually there much mayor call on their this whole Civil War thing just be a hoax guys Derek do the math if he comes back with him roughly 23 to 30 here chunks we played hard right if you come back every 30 years you end up during the Civil War II right it's close enough to feel after cyclical various want to talk to her letter was based on some prehistoric problematic alright and and hibernate for thirty years and it comes out it flies around eat some people shuttle car model I week to prove that I can on tape I he could be soldiers existed check their regiment market against chip whereabouts are movements or whatever in that area you know can you do that I shots okay great not not asking anything alright I'm on it articulating by got started alright I no and what everyone is you now 0 or gonna go shopping for Delhi me we had and I know on Bayard drawn yeah gotcha Glee tonight good great yeah drone okay I got here in bad go to me okay no following now good good you're just a heart problem tap got shell good guy now why what is it fire gone good gunfire stop by and good yeah could even drinking what looked like tar block your gonna get back in that vehicle you wanna go out to the main road from there you gonna just keep going and you will not come back let you watch today no more people are dying these roids you hear me there's something amusing countdown show larry is well there is nothing incredible don't get my car you know what you can pretend it doesn't exist but it does and in 30 years atomic back than 30 years gonna be somebody else's problem it may in fact a go now the good cloud team that won the Civil War soldiers I dot I'm and a worry of a JR Shira we headed sure know I know he's much better the man alive and I still haven't found that thing that took my seek you think it exists you believe it's real yeah how many people gonna have to does show up before you believe it to I can be and dragged under here John like I'm in a hole down in the dark somewhere decision anything that a man rational or not should have to do matter and the matter was without knowing it the sheriff for just one la carte the thing that had killed his son was right under his feet not in some huge nest up in a tree not some rocky cliff he knew where the thing was that it killed is somebody wasn't about to let sheriffs mostly go down there with him you yeah hey he laid down the hill dog shooting you ain't gonna be the okay go hand-in-hand there are stored in the library of congress tried to counter certainly makes me happy in the spring and 1865 this is from corporate and crossing at the Indiana right property the battle with red became the least our concerns from a passage North we came across something most terrible an enormous creature apparently I'm like and I have never seen the shallow ravine in the northern part of the forest this very good that's what it was okay found I ground okay that's a new career card Europe the regime campsite Greenwich St Stephens good physician for sure failure this is just suggest for his arms were given a tree over there but it was that way Serena serving his release right good scale UCF I yeah do now do you room I'm now watch the right problem the case it had been there the whole time millions of years probably and what was waiting inside have been around a lot longer than the I I know I should have waited for Jason including but I couldn't I had to see during when gone yeah are gloom final K girl the only land K therefore are my can only see you weird we'll answer your weekend okay Ford %uh for it K K do now on good do do Mashpee donahue blind she said okay and no don't do it joined no tribute I in here a for a there a a it hey and thank and girlfriend great weekend do do and for good the and T the alright I'll have with free money southern China do since he got here kid feedlots now instead used it before I got two years good yeah teeth do you he alright yeah concerns teeth tonight I saw something there is a bear maybe not own home now you know well whatever what I the might like it was overdue for extinction yeah whatever but this the for for now I can say with absolute certainty that there was something out knows what's was it a giant flying right time be that she said that she herself this much I do know people who owns mouth will be safe knows what's expected to life will go on itself fear Tennessee stars sadly without John long time %um given she determined to destroy everything needed to find his life for the last 27 years she destroyed himself this let that be a lesson to you snacks every once in a while you gotta start doing a the obsession smell the roses 70 share in the same room again finds out dues yeah go C yeah tonight's episode a free dealings feature music by Idlewild big brown ninety-seven's her just handsome boy modeling school teeth pictures 6 computer next rabbit all-new three key links Europe is raising cattle mutilations by like something girl I found that spreading my story just a cone claim naming only make it big in big butt do she wear going on go there's definitely something up guys in INTERN - MUNDO FASHION - Is that Nina Zamoi? I can't believe that the editor of "Vogue" is going to parade... - her bony at the Skirt party! - Dare she! - Fag! - Asshole! So I don't care about a neurotical, I mean... he got me to stop eating sushi for about 20 min. But then I said... seize the damn! I'm not gonna be sway I mean... it's not that I'm dying to tear it out but... honestly, what's the worst thing that can happen? I get a tapeworm and I eat what I like, and still... lose 20 pouds? I'd rather be like Karen Carpenter... on the top of the world, looking down on creation. Wouldn't that be dreaming? But enough about "moi". What did you say your name was again? - Jocelyn. - And you work at... - Skirt Magazine. - Roxanne Rochet, I love her like a sister! - What do you do there? - You know... this and that. Details, darling! Are you a writer, a stylist? - I'm a "head plan". - Excuse me? - The resident xerox core. - And what is this? I'm an intern. She's an intern She's an intern A pathetic, nulling intern Slaved little intern Fax this Xerox that Slaved little intern Get me coffee Kiss my ass Sometimes she may get the blues But everyone would spin and lose You may think life isn't fair But everybody's got to start somewhere Slaved little intern Fax this Xerox that Slaved little intern Get me coffee Kiss my ass If the paginator loses the notes Your duty then should be harpon Vegetables, cocktails cappucino skin That's the way it goes in the mags Honey, it sleeps on twirls Get me coffee Kiss my ass Capuccino skin Kiss my ass Sometimes she may get the blues But everyone would spin and lose You may think life just isn't fair But everybody's got to start somewhere Slaved little intern Fax this Xerox that Slaved little intern Get me coffee Kiss my ass She's an intern She's an intern The pathetic Nulling intern I am Jocelyn Bennett, and we are at the Skirt Magazine headquarters... i.e., where fashion trends are invented. How about how you got here. Well, I think I took my school model a little bit too serious. When I was taught not to be served but to serve... I think they had God's delivery in mind... and not fashion magazines. I could be in the staff of "Glamour"... but I'd rather be an intern at Skirt. I like to think of myself as a missionary to salvage the tacky. This is our Associate Greeter, a.k. A, receptionist. Hey, Deborah. Deborah Duchet is the Gatekeeper, the "Saint Peter" of Skirt... She separates the men from the boys. Let's watch her in action. What the hell are all these cameras doing here? I'm doing a tour for channel 13 that nobody else wanted to get. - Hello, Skirt. - Isn't she a genius? Let's move on. That's Roxanne Rochet, our Fashion Director... let's follow her. Don't you just love her Chanel? This is her first day back since the accident. Her breast implant exploded on a Concorde. The show must go on. Messages? Get Tokio on line 1. Get my boots back to Christine, because they need new legs. Give me an overwrap. Did you call Garin? What's going on with John Bartlett photo shoot? Get me an overwrap, I want an... Himalaian rejuvenation lime and berry acid peel. And get me some Valium, I'm suffering from such jet lag. Where is Cecilia Soleil? She's on maternity leave this month. This month? It only takes one day to bung with a baby. - Yes, Roxanne? - Capuccino. Right away, Roxanne. Okay, let's move on. This is the Editor Large. This is the Editor Super Large... and this is the Editor Slender Regular. Actually, I'm not sure what they do. They just sort of gormegan from sale to sale. - Excuse me, Antoinette? - Bob. No. I'm Jocelyn. - No, you need a bob. - Everybody, there's been a tragedy. Chi Chi Chemise's fainted. - Messages? - No, let's go take at that. - "C'est quis pas"? - Perspective, Vogue just came out. There's an article on it just like we'll have on our next issue. - Of course there's been a leak. - Another leak? Can you believe it? It's the third issue in a row this's happened. That is no coincidence. There must be Yuri. - What's a "Yuri"? - A spy, you idiot... like Mata Hari, James Bond... When was the last time she ate? She had an apple 2 days ago, she should be fine. Just the trauma from the article? Maybe we should take her shoes off or something. Oh, my God! - Where are my shoes? - Here. We should get out of here. Many years of pointing, you know... ballet. - Oh, my God! I'm so sorry! - Don't worry, Jocelyn. How do you know my name? I don't know. This is Paul Rochester, Deputy Art Director. Hello. Have a nice tour. Thanks. Well... you go... you go that way. - Where to now? - The Beauty Department. - What, what is it? - Whore! - Who? - Whore is here. - Roxane Rochett? - Not that whore, the nail enamel! - Whore! - What does it mean? It means fuck me, but respect me. Worship my body, but the upkeep is going to be costly. Stripe me, spurn me, treat me as your Spaniel. I'm your dog and I'm gonna break the leash on you! - Calm down, Cornelia! Arf! Arf! - I'm sorry! Just transports me to a dirty corner of 42nd street. - Breathlessly. - That's naughty! - I adore the shade! - Who the fuck are you? Why do we care what you think? What are you, an intern? Yes. What about that last intern? She had those bug eyes, looked like Courtney Cox on chemo. Let me give you two pieces of advice: Always wear black and... you never finish shitting until you piss again. Remember that and you'll be fine here. - Thank you, I'll keep it in mind. - I'm just busting your balls! - Come on! - You can laugh! - I like her vibe, though! - Nice vibe. Good vibe! Come visit me in my office and... We'll chat sometime. A little less rouge. Are we working or are we chatting? Pardon me? Yeah! Obviously you! Who else would I be talking to? - Rocky, the camera man? - Director "odd" Photography. Oh, great! Come here now! Chop-chop! You remember when I asked you to do a special project for me? - Did you see it... - Yeah, I saw it! I found it. You'd better look your intern ass I found it! And I found something along with it too: Errors, major ones. Errors that we cannot afford to make. - Like what? - Honey... we are not at "Harper's Bazaar". The big boss down the hall would not be thrilled. She'd be very glad that I had a spare moment... to oversee this... this "work". I delegated this project to you because I thought you could... handle it, unfortunately, I've learned you can't. Re-typing my rolodeck was just that difficult task for you, huh? For example: Lann Wayner's card. Why is there only one "n"on lann? Did you know he added an extra "n" years ago? Andy Warhol's card, did you even think to verify this number? - No, because he's dead. - Excuses! You just don't get it, do you? Dead or alive, I still... need their phone numbers. This is for your own benefit, not mine, okay? No bad blood? It's curse! Dolly! You're back from the couture show! How is Lacroix? That is Dolly Bellows, she's an institution. - Give me a tissue. - That man is a genius! The word genius is really in overuse Lacroix transcends the English language. My God! How could they think threatical vehicles as words can express... what Lacroix is all about? Don't they get it? Don't they understand? He's not about a dictionary... he's about spirit! Oh, God! Spirit, spirit, spirit! Any messages? A fax is coming in. From Europe! Paris studios. Carl Lagerfeld to... the Editor in Chief. I have a fax for the Editor in Chief. The Editor in Chief is waiting for it. You can go in. I'm sorry to interrupt, I have a fax for you. Okay. Thanks. The work is piling up, and I really should be getting to it. I have to retype a roll of decks, get tea, pick up a huge garment... bag, anyway, the xerox machine awaits me. So, now you know the people on staff aren't really snobs. They're just better than everybody else is. Is it enough? - That was great, thank you . - Let me know when it's on. I can watch in my time off on Channel 13. Thanks a lot, kiddo. Hang in there. It seems like a pretty tough place to work. Hey, Paul. These are the photos for the acessory page. She's gonna come here and show you exactly how she wants them. Why won't these people let me do my job? I know! What's that stuff you're always playingwith? "Silly Putty"! It calms me down. 'Hobos on a Grassy Knoll"? I love them. - They're the best band! - You know "Hobos on a Grassy Knoll"! Totally! "The Americans" is my favorite song! That's impossible, no one in the States knows them. I saw them when they went to London last March... - in Cambridge. - That's insane! I was there! Get out of here! You were there? That's crazy! I worship this poster. Where did you get it? - Well, I designed that, actually. - Do you know them? Bob Green and I went to Eton together. Paul, I've been looking everywhere for you. Everywhere except my office, I guess. I heard you were in the shitter. Roxanne needs you to discuss the concept for the cover shoot... Pardon me, Jocelyn. Hey, cut it out. You can't go through his drawers. - Does he not smoke? What is this? - The 21st century, no smoking... in office buildings, go out on the street with the rest of the junkies. Spank me again! I think there's a part-time position opening at the vault. Let's look in here. Maybe we'll find some naughty toys. He doesn't exactly seem like the kiddie-porn type. He's such a sweetie, gorgeous! I wished he was into sausages... I think I'll never be graced by his sweet ass. - You mean Paul's no gay? - Your "gaydar" is failing. Paul is as straight as Mark Jacob's pleat. - Interesting! - Every fashion magazine... needs their token hetero male. It's like reverse feminine action. Fuck! I gotta dash. I'm off that Palm press. I think Judaism beats Buddhism... in the next century. I really do. And I've got the jump-start. - I'm taking kabala classes. - I'm sure I've seen sketches of a... - Moses collection come cross my desk. - Wait a minute, haven't you seen... - at Skirt magazine? - Please, darling! Are they finally eclipsing Vogue in fashion for advance? Skirt will only race clean when it shows the bat about one ways. It's true! They totally missed the ball on those princess skirts. That's because Roxanne Rochett is Coco. No! She's only addicted to painkillers. Remember her breast exploded? You know? I do think they're the most creative. Who else would've paid me to scout that active volcano and... - and keep the diary of it? - And that burger salt layer... - was genius! - True. Gwyneth, you like them because you have been in every issue... - for the past three years. - Excuse me! I like them because they're innovators. - You'd better watch your back, Jack! - I'm not worried... I've got someone on the inside. - You crocodile! - You know me, girl! As you all know, our Editor Chief's husband is suffering... from testicular cancer. Once again, Skirt Magazine will host this year's carnival and ball... "Save our balls" ball. We'll have booze there and I need all of you to sign up. The clipboard will now circulate. We have some very serious issues to get down to. As you know, Vogue magazine ran... a canteen chic feature, and that means... we still have an info trader in the midst of our operation. It was dreadful enough when they copied that year moth explosions... on terrific towing spreads but now this? I abhor Nina Zamoi. I abhor that whore. I wish the most evil thing in the world would happen to her. I wish that... an anti-fur activist marched into the "Four Seasons"... and dropped a bloody dead raccoon carcass... onto her freezing salad, Spiring the balzabic and blood... all over her Valentino contourship... - Easy. - Okay, sit down. We are not in this battle alone, I've enlisted the aid... of a very valued ally. Deep Throat? He was instrumental in cracking the case of the missing Manolo Blahnik. Roxette, do you really think we need the Deep Throat? Why can't we just find the Yuri within ourselves? Call me silly, but I have a hunch it might be... - Pierre Larroux. - Nonsense! Pierre may be an obsequious, ass-licking meretricious... sick offend, but Yuri he's not. He's off to a secret shoot... for Vogue. - What? - Lies! He'd better not be. Ok, now let's move on. Cornelia? Chi Chi, any trend report from the front? I heard from the chef at "Daveé", who heard from his boyfriend... who works backstage at Galliano, with Orlando Pitta... whose blow drier system just came from the Gautier show... that his next collection will be revolutionary. The girls will come out on the catwalk... in wheelchairs. Wheelchair chic? - Genius! - Inspirational. I think Da Vinci did sketches of wheelchair prototypes. - We can use those for the layout. - I have goose bumps. Nine pages! Jocelyn, I see you put your name down for the... "make your own video" booth. Do you know? I think I'm gonna join you on that one. Paul, Jocelyn, why don't you guys run over to Gustav's studio now... and I'll be there in a few minutes All right? Just sit tight. Great! Hi, this is Luke Perry telling you to buckle up... cause anything worse than slamming into the windshield... is getting a whip of Jason Priestley's breath in the morning. Who's bad enough that every taxi in New York reaps... but now he's in the terciary level celebrity though... pouring us not to plunge through the windshield. It's an interesting way to attempt to comeback. It's gotta be a bummer to be all famous... be on the cover of Tiger B for one decade... and be virtually anonymous the next. I'd rather never be famous, thank you. I totally agree, but actually I think it would be a bad attitude... to cover a great cult or kitsch project and disappear... like Suburbia or somewhere in the pan-States. It's true. But I guess it's too easy to get sucked in. What the fuck is a white and black cow doing here? I asked specifically for an all-black cow! We were expecting this. Uh! I hate cows! Where is everybody? We're completely understaffed. Thank God! You look stunning, darling. These people are driving me crazy! - The tone art has made me! - What did he do? He filed my second nail toe too much, now it looks weird. - It looks perfect, darling. - The level of my eyes is... garish blurred Mahogany rouge, totally clashes with the rouge... concolor lipstick. You know how my cosmetic company hates it... when the lip line is darker than the lipstick, it's totally distracting. - He can't understand what I say! - Darling... it's a cover shoot, you don't have to say anything. Don't speak. No more. Whatever. Do you want to see what they want me to wear? I'll let you tie my bikini strings. Excuse me, you're not supposed to touch that! - I beg your pardon? - No, I'm just kidding. You are Jocelyn, right? Alex? We met at the Couture Birthday Fashion shoot. - Oh, yeah! How are you? - I can't believe these people, man! They are nuts! What's up with the tooled on that broad, you know? We're doing fashion here, not high art. I guess she just takes pride in her work. I need you to fill the water bottles to spray on Resin. - What? - Pierre insists... on the misty look, I need you to put this Evian into the bottles... and practice spraying, now. - Yeah, I'll help you. - That's what he said. - He said to paint the cow... - You! You are the sprinkler? Fantastique! A vision! Gentle worrying eels just outside Dublin... Meteorology: 66 degrees, a crispy October haze on a gray day... the charcoal clouds, they come, yet, back home... I'm ready now! Okay, okay! Let's get this party started now! I'm not painting that cow! I don't care! I told you on the phone I wanted an all-black cow... and you and your make-up people are gonna paint the goddamn cow... all black. You have to do what I told you... That was a long day, wasn't it? I can't believe we've been working for 8 hours. They could fly to Moscow without they mingle ice with ice flake. You know, Jocelyn, I gotta tell you one thing, I think you are... the best sprinkler I've ever seen. Indeed, indeed. Marvelous! I got a new calling. Mom and dad are gonna love this one! Dad, I gotta follow my heart! - Okay, my U$20.000 degree... - This is me. I created the haze of Dublin in a Greenwich Village studio. You want my vision? You want my vision? Where is Kathy Bates when we need her? - "I'll never let go, Jack." - Send the life-boat... Paul, let's go. I was just knocking around with Jocelyn. This is Jocelyn, your spritzer, you met her. Hi! I'm gonna be late for Patrick Tomarce's book party. I gotta split. Are you all right with your... - what is that? - Ribbon? Yeah, ribbon rapping? - Jocelyn, I can help you. - Thanks, Alex. Well, I'll see you at the Carnival tomorrow. Don't touch me, you're all wet! Jocelyn, I think we could get a cup of coffee after or something? - Sure! - Clean-up time, Jocelyn. Jocelyn, how are you doing? Where have you been? Hi, Nate, I need to pick up Sebastian's packages. Really? What are his packages: Big or small? It's his luggage from the trip to St. Bart. It's that stuff back there. It's too big for you, Jocelyn. We'll take it up. - Thanks. - While you're here... - do you think you can help us out? - Sure. What is it? We found this package outside our door this morning... But it didn't have no telephone extention or return number. So we took it to the 4th, Time Square, but... - That's Conde Nest. - Yeah. It was addressed to an Andre Leon Talley, but... Andre Leon Talley? Let me see this. I don't even know where it came from, what can I do with it? I'll take it. Thanks! Slow down, punter foot. This isn't Sports Ilustrated. Look what I just found in the messenger center. - Where did you get this? - In the messenger center. - Somebody was trying to send it... - I've been looking all over for these. - I know, that's why... - This is very serious, Jocelyn! I don't understand. Why you have these layouts... and why you're "messengering" them to someone. I wasn't the messenger, I was asked to return it. - Someone left it there. - Someone? Maybe that someone is you. And maybe you were planning... on sneaking them back into my drawer before you were discovered. - Sebastian, I'm not the Yuri. - Interesting! You're very defensive. - I can't believe this! - But I'll believe it... until you come up with another Yuri. I'll keep my eye on you. Watch your back... jag. Over here... - Over here. - Where? Over here. I told you to never contact me again. It's an emergency. You helped me with Manolo's and I really need your help now... This is different. This goes deeper. - How deep? - Fucking motherfucker... cock-sucker, fuck... sorry. - It's my Tourett syndrome again. - I know. I'm used to it. - Now listen. - Red fuck! We need help. Somebody has been stealing our story ideas and trading them... - to Nian Zamoi, at Vogue. - I know all about it, pussy. - Do you know who it is? - We're not gonna do it that way. First, you're going to tell me what you know and I'm gonna - tell you if you're right. - I have a sneaking suspicion... it could be Pierre Larroux, our make-up artist. Look deeper. Look closer. Follow the fashion! What do you mean? They are brilliant! Did you design them? No. I have to give credit where credit's due. - Sebastian designed them. - Yes, darling, you do know... that I have a better grasp on the subject than he. It's time to pile into the town cars and you can check the list... for what booths you're assigned to, and the times. And remember... when you're not in the booths, you're still representing Skirt. I wish I could always have a cock this big this close to my face. - You are disgusting! - Actually... my room service boy in Paris... wasn't so different from the dimensions on this shirt You should see him serve more than a petit dejanuai. You chaseabout! What did you have on your customs card... when you came back: Business or pleasure? Honey, no matter how many times you have your croissant buttered over... - there, it's still work. - All right. Time to move out. If you need to reach me, you can call my beeper. It's 197-UP-SKIRT. The most important thing to do right now... This is absolute disgrace! I can't believe we're all the way downtown... volunteer for this damn charity carnival. It's pathetic! You don't see anyone at Vogue having to do this. I'm the Hair Editor. I don't crawl around... on the ground picking up dart in the name of expertise. It's a fairly unusual charity. Although balls are important. - Antoniette, how's you husband? - You're married? - Absolutely! - And does he still live in Spain? Yes, the Atlantic is a fabulous thing for our relatonship. How often do you see each other? At holidays! You were a great director in that video. Maybe you don't screw this. Actually I was going to be a photographer, but the only people who would hire me is sleazy balls in those tabloid photo agencies. What did you have to do? Stalk people? Exactly what I did. Casually I needed to follow Carol O'Connor... with the sun acid by the roof in the quarter. - That's sick! - Yeah, beyond. I had this severe moral thing when I was crop star... with my first thirty pound laker. I backed up after that. - So, how did you end up at Skirt? - I just love Skirt. They have the best photography of any magazines, really... the most innovative, stylish, artistic shoots around. How did you end up in magazines? I had an excentric uncle... who was my idol when I was growing up... he was a sort of black sheep, hip, rebel type. While my parents are always trying to drag me off to polo, blablabla... he was always abducting me and taking me... - on the most amazing adventures. - Sounds like a cool uncle. Yeah, he was. He was pretty much my savior when I was a child. My parents had a messy split, and he saw me through that. He knew I liked to paint and he always encouraged. So why don't you paint full time? That's what I'm trying to do... but I like graphic design and it helps pay the bills. So I made a routine out of that. Furthermore, I don't think anybody would like to buy my paintings. Except maybe a pizza parlor. I'm sure people would buy your paintings. I have to get out of here! I'm being harrassed! These little beasts keep snugging me... begging for an autograph... - annoying me! - They are children. And I'm not the fucking Pied Piper. I don't want them following me. Shoo! - Get away! Go! - Calm down. I'm gonna be... half an hour more at this. Then we take... - a nice walk. - I hate walking. Besides, my driver's around the corner. I have to go meet Simas Gort Morgan... and he's going to introduce me to Milo Norbuck... who's gonna be in the new CK campaign with me. I can. Should I come with you? - It's business. - It's business, right. Page me tomorrow and maybe we'll have dinner, okay? Page? You know, Jocelyn, I have been inside all day... and I would like to take a nice walk. - Would you like to join me? - Sure, I'd love to. Darling, change of plans. I have to meet Norbuck, at the Mercer, at 2AM... let's have some dinner at Raul's. - I'll take you next time, okay? - Sure, no problem. Okay. Antoniette, can I borrow your intern? The Doyle Gallery just called and... they desperately need this gown. It's the dress Kim Basinger orderly... asked, the one with only one sleeve, the one for the celebrity couture... auction, immediately. You can finish this when you get back. Hurry up! - You heard her. - For God's sake, watch your back. There are spies everywhere. Trust no one. - Guard that with your soul, darling. - I shall. I owe you lunch. November, December or something... - our girls will figure it out. - Take yourself way back. Look who is here, Miss Sunshine. - Hello, Jocelyn. - Hi. How is everything at the mental ward downtown? You know, reigns, but always a learning experience. You're a tripper! That is lot 163. Jocelyn, where have you been? Kim Basinger needed to go up on that wall hours ago. She's the cornerstone of this entire operation. What could've... - possibly hold you up? - Well, I guess you haven't heard? - Heard what? - Oh, nothing. Just the revolutionary new nail color from Mac. Everyone's freaking out. Chi Chi fainted. You should've said that right away. I'm gonna have to have someone messenger me some. - Where did you learn that from? - You know... - tricks and betrayals. - But it can be tricky sometimes... - to take yourself at him. - I'll try not to. You've been upstairs? If you get the chance, there's a fantastic photo exibition... up there, it is brilliant I think you'll really love it. Reminded me of you. I've wrapped it up downstairs. Maybe we can... Maybe we can take that walk afterall. Sounds great. Aren't they amazing? Aren't they the best French fries you've ever tasted? I'd give them a silver medal. Silver medal? - What are you, a German judge? - No, but I've had better. - We're gonna do a taste test. - Fine, if you go by the Printer's. - Where is this place? - In Bruges, in Flanders... - it's probable in Belgium. - Yes, I know. I see someone with you or with a bunch of girl friends. - I went by myself. - Did you? - How many countries did you visit? - I traveled the world. I graduated early and got a grant from my college... to do a photo essay... as part of my thesis and that was incredible! That is amazing. I can't believe you did all that by yourself. I'm so impressed! So... were you scared? They tried to stripsearch me in Indonesia. I got a little heat from my bubblelicious probe but in... other letters, smooth sailing. And did you make... Did you make any disposable friends? A couple, but no crazy night with Ethan Hawke in Vienna... but I still have this Moroccan family who writes to me. - I have the best pictures of them. - Really? Then I'd love to see them. Really? - You would? - You are so observing... I bet you'd make a great photographer. Home sweet home. I really had a great time, Jocelyn. Anytime Resin is indisposed, I'll be your walking partner. Tomorrow will be a rough day, I've been assigned to... Skirt's security task force to find the Yuri. - Sounds very gums. - It really bothers me. All this fashion espionage. Someone just takes our hard work... and hand it over to Vogue. It really pisses me off! I'm going to make it my mission to aprehend Yuri. If anyone can do that, you can. A spy's work is never done. Right, I really enjoyed that walk. Good night, Jocelyn. Sweet dreams. - I'm sorry, Jocelyn. - No big deal. Quick, quick, quick! I need my comb! Fabulous, fabulous! That, wonderful. This is the best session! Come on, ladies! Embrace the water! Embrace it! Make love to it! Let the water wash away your sins, ladies! It takes a lot more than this rain... to wash away their sins. Be sexy in the rain! Thank God! Aleluia! Aleluia! You know what we need? - The lightning machine. - Lightning! Lightning machine? Let's get out of here. Maybe we should stick around, get lost then start to move faster! I'm freezing. Call me a cube. This is unbeareable, cube. I can't believe they're making rain... for the photo shoot with, water from the Hudson river! They're crazy! We're all gonna get typhoid-d! Listen, we gotta take off these clothes. We don't wanna get pneumonia. Do you think they'd mind if I wore something from the wardrobe? No! Go for it. It's too jay. These things are supposed to be worn, not framed. - I'm swimming in it! - Hang on. Where's your head? Hang on. That's it, that's it. There you go. What's that? Hang on! Excuse me, you've got a tag here. I can't get it. Where the fuck is my eyelash collar? I get so mad. These stupid people... Here it is! We're gonna do it this time! We're gonna... I think maybe we should get back out there. We've got some time left. They won't be finished for a while. I'm gonna sew you out. It's hideous out there. I can't take it anymore. I just walked off. I don't feel well, Paul. I just wanna go home and cuddle off with you. Okay, I'II... - I'm gonna get your car. - You're so sweet to me. - I had a great time the other day. - Me too! I loved working with you at the shoot. And I think we make great walking partners - We should consider the marathon. - Listen, Jocelyn... I think you are amazing... and I loved... that walk with you as well... and I loved hanging out with you on the shoot... and God only knows I'm always so happy when I see your face... I think we make great friends... But... Resin is a little pissed off because that I see so much of you... and I realized that... I just hope I wasn't giving you the wrong idea. No. How could I forget that you're going out... with the "cover girl"? Everyone else is orgasmic... that you're going out with her. - Good, because I just wanted to... - Don't worry about it, Paul. - It's good to keep things open. - That's what I... Here. There are many more where these came from. - What the hell are you doing? - I was just wrapping this up... so I can go to Carl's photo book party. I'll send Carls your best, because you're not going. You have a very important project to do. Have you noticed people's desks lately? Atrocities! I haven't seen so many colors... since Todd Oldham's debut collection. It's all about black. What it this bullshit, anyway? This is not Lucky Charm cereal. This is not "Oz". This is not "Skills". I want you to replace each and every one... of these hideous five-a-dime acessories immediately. Everybody's desks should be in ship-shape by tomorrow morning. Philip's just messengered over his new line of desk acessories. From now on, everything should be black. Those bitches... they all said: "Brown is the new black". I got news for you, baby: Black... could kick brown's ass. Jocelyn, what are you doing working so late? I'm making the bulletin boards clash-proof. God forbid we have a stray yellow damn tag! - I'm so sorry! - You missed a great party! Everybody was there. I could have stayed all night... But Paul forgot his stupid disk and we had to come... - all the way back uptown. - Bummer. We won't keep you from your work... I'm sure it's very important. Come on, Paul, I wanna go home. Jocelyn, don't work too late, will you? You are pathetic! What a disgrace! - You're fired. - You are over! What are you doing? You are stupid, you're a bad person! You fool. You ashamed Skirt and you're never ever gonna work here again. You! A new fuse! Look at you! You're fabulous! You're incredible! The eyes, the hair, the smile! That's it: The new muse! I know her wicked ways The parts you never see Our supergirl You are our supemodel. Although you have a reputation Can I afford To abandon my station Mine is not the only heart you harbor And I love America God! Can she be cruel... Hi, Joce! What's wrong? I just had the worst day! I don't know how much more of this crap I can take. I've been there for hours, re-acessorizing the bulletin boards. How is the hottie? So completely taken. It's hopeless, Josie. It's completely hopeless. I'm beginning to think I'll never get on staff... and my summer money is running low. Look on the bright side: You are the star of public television. They are running your office tour again... for the fifth time this week. They must have it on a loop. - Come here. - I'm horrified! Hey did you see that? She was coming out of the fax room. So? She never sends her own faxes. What's the big deal? Maybe she had something to do in the fax room. So what I'm thinking. I'm loving this tone. Tone for a just, isn't it genious? It's good she does LOB ingenious... I'll have her messenger over some for me. Vuitton Gellys is planning a hostile takeover of Fava. Vuitton Gellys. I loved it. Did you see Fendi broche bag? - I've got to have it! - It's gonna be a success. I'll make 4 pages on it. What's that deal with that Vogue stealing on your stories? I heard there was a curry. It's Yuri, dummy, we're talking Russians, not Indians. It's not me. I won't work for Vogue anymore. They didn't airbrush me properly. - The designers are butchers. - Butchers? Now I have my own private airbrusher over here at Skirt. Paul is such a sweetie! - The duke with the Macintosh. - I love working with royalty. I love sleeping with royalty. Who are you, the fourth Mallard sister? Not quite, Olivier. I don't do exiles. I like my men underfed and overbred. Can you give me a tiara? Anyway, this one has got polo fields... and the largest private estate in all of England. Whores! All of you. Hey, man! Do you know where Jocelyn is? French fries, yeah! - See'ya, Alex. - Peace. Alex, what are you doing here? So nice to see you! I was dropping off some contact sheets and I figured I'd stop by... and say "hi". How are you doing? Holding up? Barely. I just about to transfer... the Western shoot all day. Yee-haw! - Do you wanna get some coffee? - I can sneak out of here for... five minutes before I have to get back to this closet. - Cool. - Let me just get my coat. Jocelyn, I'm sorry you had to work late. Hang in there! Paul. John, Simmon, How sweetie! Hello there! - How art thou? - Good, what about the Yuri? - Brutal! - Brutal... I can't even think about it before breakfast. - Jocelyn, you missed it! - What? Raw brilliance! Helmets... - helmets. - Helmut Lang? Safety is chic. Living is chic. Helmut Lang. Helmets... for motorcycles, mopeds, vespas and scooters, even. To die for! Fooffy, green tea. We gotta make sure this trend catches on. We gotta make sure... this trend is covered with pages in the magazine. - Roxanne doesn't understand this. - It's gonna be an outrage. By this time next year, We'll have every single woman... wearing helmets. Helmets on Wall Street... helmets in the opera... women in maternity wards with helmets. No more will lesbians have a lock on helmets. I'll see that personally. It's great. Great. Everybody is gonna run out and spend 4 grand for a helmet. It's insane, these people wouldn't care about safety if a top... - designer didn't tell them to. - How do you deal? A sense of humor is essential for this job. - Richard, how are you doing? - Kenneth! Great shoot. Hi, Cornelia, great to see you. - Did you just see that? - Statement. Statement? Kenneth Cole just cut me dead. Obviously he didn't appreciate our dominatrix baby shoot. Where were we... US$ 25.000, I repeat, is not enough... to do a piece. It's an insult to the designer, it's an... insult to the make-up artist, it's an insult to the photographer... - and it's an insult to me. - Don't hurt her. Raymond Meyer said Skirt isn't wort his time... if we can't put out the dough to hang the Henry Winston... on the gargoyles of the Chrysler Building. I agree with Raymond. - Can you blame him for saying that? - No. We can't spend that much money, not on this day... not with this technology. I can just superimpose them and I Photoshop them on my Mac... But you'd be cheating yourself and the reader. I don't think the reader is really gonna know. The reader knows. How do I know? Because I knew! Look, I was raised in the trailer part... - that won't leave this table. - Oh, God! But the point is: I looked foward to... getting my monthly Skirt. I dropped off right on the trail... to get me just a dollop of gloss and glamour. I needed that, so did other millions of teenage girls... ass-wash clad, coming off the arcade. We needed that. We wanted hope and fantasy. - And we want our gargoyles real. - Yes, we want real gargoyles... Do you understand us? Real gargoyles! There's my sweetie. Hey, sweetie... sit you cute butt down here. She's great! Am I interrupting something? We are entrenched in this serious debate... about the importance of investing in beauty. - Have you any thoughts? - They want to sacrifice... their soul for some change. Do you want to decide between the budget and truth? What they're saying is if there should be caps on our shoots. Well, I don't think that the sky should be the limit. But I do think that... magazines offer an escape in innovation and... I hope to always hope to find fantasy and novelty... - on the pages of Skirt. - Thank you, just as I thought. Thank you, but fantasy doesn't come cheap, sweetheart. Please, I don't wanna hear the "c" word. - Hello, darlings. - Don't you dare throw that away. Don't you know people are starving at Vogue? - Take it. - Jocelyn, did you finish testing... all of the mousse in the closet? I was almost done, I just wanted to grab a bite. Charmingly naive, but don't you think problems are so important... that you shouldn't take time for lunch? Besides... if you haven't noticed, these are all editors. Take it easy, Antoniette. Be nice to her She's the best intern you've ever had. Over here! I'm so glad you got my signal. I really need your help. You blew it. They got you again. Cock-sucking, hussie, cocks'n pants... I know, but I need your help. Is there gonna be another leak? - And if so, what's story? - Think deeper, think FDR. East River Drive, traffic jams... - squeegee boys. - Think deeper... - think tacky blond bombshell. - Sharon Stone. No! You fucking roadkill. Who... who kept wide eyes... when she jaws? What? We're on a deadline and there's a shortage of interns. Bullshit. I have appointments and I need someone to carry my Polaroid. - But we need her, darling. - Get Foofy. - I don't know where Foofy is. - Filing cards for upcoming shoots. You know we only use 5 models anyway. Are you an idiot? No! So don't act like one. So here is the trick for getting free stuff: You call Louis Vuitton, call in 4 bags and send back 3. The next day, call in 2 and send back 1... Then call in 5 and send back 4. When they ask you to cough up... this luggage you delay and tell them it's on a shoot in Barbados. Until you find somebody over there quit, which is weekly. And say you just sent it back to Sheila and fake surprise... when they say she left the company. - No way. - Lf they keep questioning you... tell them you messengered it over to Vogue. An editor requested it. - That's hilarious! - Works every time. Hello, Louis V. This soup is delicious. It beats throwing an acceptable layout away. It's such a chaos over there. This whole Yuri hassle journey... is insane. I've had enough of the Cold War when we did... the "Doctor Jivago" shoot. You got the chicken, too? So good. But I got the pieard. I don't like playing with bones. I'd bite my tongue on that one. You are so great, Richard. I'm so glad you work at Skirt. Some of the people there are so snobby. The irony is they were all from trailer parks and they're all on the mate. I was on the fashion closet and I heard Olivier and Resin talking... - what is it with Paul? - The duke? What the hell is that? Is he royalty or something? Prince Chuck is his cousin or something. You'd never know, huh? Why do you think Resin is going out with him? Do you think she'd be attracted to some guy in the art department? But he's really cute... and funny... and smart... Is it an arrow in your ass from Cupid Squivert? - Yeah. - But it's hopeless. Why do you say that? Things could work out. - You never know a man's heart. - Yes, I do. He already told me. He thinks of me as a "great friend". The kiss of death! But then on the other day he bought me fries. He did? That's a sign. He's so thoughtful! I'm smitten. I can tell! You look green! Is that your heart broken to cut chips? Somebody gets a Pepto! Spritzer girl? Where is the art department? Things should be clearly marked in these offices. - It's down there. - I'm supposed to meet Sebastian. We're going to discuss strategies for covering up heroine tracks. It's so, so sad! I know. It's terrible that these girls do that to themselves. It causes so much extra work for us, matching skin tones... blending palletes. For arms can be quite difficult for artists. I can imagine, good luck! My God, you're sick! I think I got a full poisoning atrophy. I'm so sorry. I'm horrified! I didn't want you to see me like this. Don't worry, it happens to everyone. I'll get some water. Honey, are you all right? You got it all dripping! I just chugged in front of Paul. I'm gonna kill myself. Don't worry, you'll lose weight. Here he comes Remember: Binding over boyfriend is key. - Here's some water. - Great, she'll need some. - Here you go. - Thank you. I have some mints. I'll leave them here. I'm okay, I just... - I gotta get back to work. - No, you go home. I'll put you in a cab. Here you go. - She's sick, buddy. Come on! - What the hell are you doing? Listen. Go home, cuddle up and get some rest. Youve gotta take better care. You're working too hard. - Come on. - Thank you so much, Paul. See you on Monday on Romeo and Juliette, okay? Slamming into the windshield won't win you any... model contract. This is Resin... telling you to buckle up because safety is so in fashion... What? I can see the dresses have arrived for Juliette... beautiful, sensuous, feminine. Thanks, Dianne, you are a goddess. Remember, child: Life is love and love is life. Whining, yet charming. New York subway in the summer. Meteorology: 112 degrees. Mood: - Hassled, hot, hostile, relaxed. - You're histerical. I'm used to hanging out with these people too long. - It catches on. - Totally. I like to stay away from the fashion car when I'm not working. But it's so incestuous, everybody is doing everybody else. They feel like they don't get to miss out or something like that. - It's pathetic. - Listen, I gotta get back to work... before I get fired, but maybe we could grab a drink after? I'd love to, but unfortunately my day doesn't end here. - Maybe tomorrow. - Great. There's this cool band named Nimbus, playing at the Rebard's... it's like some disco, some funk, interested? - Sounds fabulous, I'd love to. - Cool. And definitely bring that silly putty. I'm all over that. - Time to take your places! - I'm not ready yet. I'm still in make up. See, Chi Chi? I told you. I don't work like this. - Supermodels. - I know. Attendance! I needs standants, standants, you... - spritzer girl. - Did I hear my name? Go stand at the top of the balcony. I need another. - I'll do it. - Go climb at the terrace... and stand on the other side of the balcony rail. Pierre, mon cher, we need a vision. The year, 1323, no... 1324. The setting: A stony alcove in the alps of the Capuleto... hanging from the rocky, gelid cliffs of Stratfordshire. Meteorology: 50 degrees, with a post perceptive chilling the air. The tempest has fled to bomir pastures, but its icy kiss lingers. The mood: Unbridled passion... a passion that unravels nature's tiring volcanoes... and rumbling earthquakes. This deeds are acts of gods... so is this union. You need to show Romeo and Juliette how to pose. And you can bet your sweet ass I will. Romeu: You've just been running in from Mars... you're hot and sweaty, but you're taking some danger. Juliette is looking hot, you know what I'm trying to mean? I want the body language to be a lot more charged, okay? So move a lot tight closer together. Look into your Juliette's eyes and..."Oh! Romeo, Romeo"... "where art thou", boy. Come on, open your heart... and show some love, some affection for her. And Juliette... you love this man! Oh! Yes! You know he's your knight in shiny armor. I like that! Hold that, I'm gonna take some Polaroid photos. Alex, move your ass. Move your ass. Out, please. Move! I like that! I love that! Romeo e Juliette! Romeo loves his Juliette. Wait! What the hell is going on here? Resin, you'd better watch out! We got good models over here. I'm not worried about her taking my job. She couldn't even fit into the samples. Your hair looks like a sheep dog... and Juliette croaks anyway. You thought there was something going on when you saw that big... drop of sweat in his hand like Mission Impossible. And Harnesee seemed so hot. This is a bit bigger than breaking into"Quantico". - You got the story from Skirt? - And hot full details! Vogue is in Fort Knox! Nina will be euphoric. Man, this neighborhood is dead. Soho used to be fly... but now it's all just sell-out, sell-out. Sell-out. Then Tribeka was the e-hood, but now it's gone to yuppies... with their editting facilities, waiting 45 minutes in line... for lunch at Bubbie's. See, it's all about the alphabet city in the Y2K! Paul, what are you doing here? You remember Alex? - I need to talk to you. - Is something wrong? I need some liquids. What's your poison, Joce? - I'm okay. - Jocelyn, listen. - What's wrong? - What? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? Hanging out with that... grunge poser. He's beneath you! - Why do you care who I hang out with? - He's beneath you. Let's not get started people hanging out with people... who is beneath them. Are you talking about my cover girl? My sexy, gorgeous cover girl? Just look at her! Everyone else wants to sleep with her or bathe her. - Everyone except me. - And what is that about you? How you can see through her? - Hey, man you like this music? - Yeah, I think that's great choose. Terrific choose, man! Yeah! Take it easy! You should go for Resin. She's looking for you. - So, Resin was coming... - Oh, hi! I assume this is finally my iced cappucino. - Yes. And your change. - Thank you. Geez! You really sucked that puppy back. Are you sure this was skimmed milk? No, they ran out, so they used 2 percent. - Oh, my God! - Okay. Come on! Oh, my God! Come on, baby. Do it. Do what you have to. Okay. Here, sweetie. My God! How dare you? I specifically asked for skimmed... and you bring me this fatty, moogeous cow loyd? I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry, it's just you're so thin! Don't patronize me! Get this out of here. Clean it up now. Did you get my husband on the phone? The hotel said he checked out. Can't you do anything right? Call again! - I tried three times. - Did you ask for the right name? It's. De la Paix, I'm sure you got it wrong. De La Paix It's not that hard. I'm certain that I said it right. The hotel specifically said that Mr. And Mrs. De la Paix... checked out. Jocelyn, I'm so terribly sorry for the way I behaved. I'm off to London for a week. It's my father's birthday. I'll see you at the Return Bash. Take care. Paul. Thank you, Lester. J, London's great, but I'm missing the New York skyline. I hope you're well. Paul. Fax this to Galliano's buttmaker's boyfriend stylist... in Monaco. You freak! - What are those for? - We're doing a strain... on say gal shalls and Roxanne gave it 6 pages. Come in. - I have to talk to you. - You want another raise? I don't get paid, I'm an intern. I think I might know who the Yuri is. Let's continue with the pedicure later. Privacy. Let's talk. Delicious! Good morning! Good morning, boys! Good morning, good morning, good morning. Wow, are we silent! - Did somebody die here? - Yeah. Every dog has his day... It's obvious that, the way you two are dressed, you're not here... - to talk to me about fashion. - I'm afraid we're not. Lieutenant Pathmark, you're under arrest for the insider trading... code 327B, for industrial espionage. I always knew you were the Yuri. You have the right to remain silent... Yes, I did it. I wanted to make sure these were cross-the-board trends. I wanted to make sure if they were pre-featured, they would come. But you want to know why I did it? Because I love fashion. Fashion is my life, or at least... a good portion of my day. My dream is that every man, woman and child in America... will learn to spell "Ferragamo" and... the 5-year-olds would learn to play hopscotch on simplicity patterns... that words like poliester, leisure suit and house dress... were stricken from our vocabularies. If that's my crime, I'm proud that I did it. And if I have to go to jail... so be it. As long as I can take my wardrobe with me. Officer... go cuff me. Your trend-making days are over. You can share your precious fashion advice... with the bitches in the slammer. I can't wait to tell the girls in my cell block... "Yes! You can make stripes with floral!" They'll be so happy! People, people! I have something to say. This has been a monumental day, marking the end... of a bitter and tragic era that cast upon... our very headquarters. The Yuri has been aprehended! And it's thanks to a brilliant counter-espionage... by a very industrious, pro-active intern. So let's raise our booth recall to Jocelyn. - To Jocelyn! - To Jocelyn! - Bravo! Good eye! - Good girl! And I have more good news: Jocelyn is my meeting assistant... she's on staff... - and she's our newest little Skirt. - Congratulations! Good luck, sweetheart. We were just messengered the photos from the shooting... including the Polaroids of you and Paul, they are adorable! I'm just dissapointed that Paul missed my cue. I gotta get the guy out of my head. - I need some mental floss. - Sweetie, take a thought shower. The important is that Editor Chief knows your triumph... - and put you on staff. - I guess... You're going with me to pick up stationery from the colleaguer. I've got to get this down to the messenger center by 6. I'm totally going. I'll just do a quick e-mail and we're off. We'll go to "II Cantenore" and... and celebrate the end of your life as an intern slash slave. Hold on, I got another call waiting... - Cornelia, have you seen Jocelyn? - Who is Jocelyn? Pink! The beauty is that he got a bony campaign with Calvin Klein... - She was swallowing everything... - I'm sorry, have you seen Jocelyn? - The intern? Absolutely not! - Thank you. Jocelyn, I hear you got to do the Las Vegas shoot... com Roxanne. Am I green or what? Oh, yeah! I'm so excited. I see Resin found herself a new boyfriend. Get a room! - What about Paul? - He's over Sabrina's heels. She swings like Tarzan, through the vine. I don't think that Paul chews that. Can you believe Antoniette? Watching her in predator mode is better than... Shark week on the Discovery Channel. - Hello, whores! - There is special China Chow... He' s probably giving some hints on how to remain in the spotlight... without actually doing anything. - I gotta take notes. - I think I'll follow you. How are you doing, sweetie? I don't know. Kind of tired, I don't feel so well. I think I'll just go home and get some sleep. Have a drink of bourbon it hits the head for 15 hours. You'll be a million times better. We changed the ceramics? - I think so. Then. It's normal. There's always smoke the first time. Don't worry. Thank you. You don't look too well. - I'm fine. The vacuum cleaner is not the reason. Is it? No. I have other problems. A woman. I bet. - What makes you think that? Only women can make us feel that way. She dumped you? It's a bit more complicated than that. Figures. It's always complicated with them. I say if they make you suffer. they don't deserve you. I wasn't in love anyway. Then. You'll forget her soon enough. - I guess. Don't let it get you down. Have some fun. Go to... I mean. Do... I don't know. what you enjoy doing. Yes. Thank you. - You're welcome. At your service. Goodbye. - Goodbye. Welcome to Sextoon. Do you want to compose a new... - No. Do you want to call your... - Yes. Hello. Thomas. I'm happy to see you. I have new story lines... - Yes. Make your selection. Thomas. - Number 4. "poker game" There. You won. I have nothing left. But I can bet something else. You want me to? - Yes. I'll bet my body. Do you want my body? - Yes. You'll have my body if you win the next hand. Or I'll take all your money. OK? OK. You're brave. You like to play. I like that. Two cards. No cards for you? You think you're stronger than me. don't you? What do you say to that. little bastard? Bastard. Go ahead. Take me. Go ahead. Take me. Go ahead. Take... Hello. Eva. I'll call your insurance. Why? You've no right to bother me at work. I don't. - You don't want my services. But I do want your services. My job is to fuck. At your home. If I report that you're harassing me... - I need you. Eva. No one needs me. Especially you. - Really? You're just a customer. A very difficult one. Let's stop playing games. - Why are you calling me? Why me? Because I was crying? Why were you crying? That's my problem. - Maybe I could help. Great. I've got me a Saint Bernard. Please. Don't compare me to a dog. I can't stand dogs and cats. Dogs. Cats. Humans. all part of your illness? Do you have other similar symptoms? I have plenty of symptoms. Look. I'd like to talk with you. But not here. With all that make-up. I want to talk with you at your home. I can't. - Give me your calling code. I can't see patients outside of work. - But I'm not a patient. Listen. I... Damn. The boss. Your code? - I have to disconnect. Give it to me. - Please. The boss is calling me. Give me your code. - I can't. I'll file a complaint. No. Don't. - Give me your code or I'll file. I have enough problems as it is. - Your code. Please. Don't do this to me. - Your code. If she gets another complaint... Please go. Your code. Bernard. Bernard. Oliver. 230. Thank you. Mom. - Hello. Thomas. It's been exactly a week. - I'm proud of you. Mom. But I can't talk right now. Why not? We had said... - I have things to do. What things? - I don't want to talk about it. Even with me? - Yes. Mom. Call me back in a couple of days. I knew this once-a-week thing was a bad idea. Soon you won't talk to me at all. - Don't be angry. I'm not angry. I'm disappointed. It's all my fault. - No. Mom. Yes. It is. No need to feel guilty. Listen. I don't want to talk with you right now. OK? Call me in two or three days. OK. I'll call you Tuesday to... - That's fine. Bye. Mom. Hello. Eva. I forbid you to call me at home. But... - You're a bastard. You blackmailed me. You disgust me. - No. It wasn't blackmail. It's going to cause me problems. Why? Can't someone call you at home? If you don't hang up. I'll call your insurance. So? They won't be happy. They may break your contract. No. You wouldn't do that. Really? - No. I'll count to ten. - Eva. Please. One. Two. Three. Four... five. Six. Seven. Eight... Yes. I know what you're going to say. But I've been thinking. I would like for you and I to give it another try. We have a lot in common and with time. We may... I'm happy that you called. Really. But... I've met someone else. Another man? Through the club. Of course. Ken. Ken? - That's his name. Ken. He's Ghanaian. He's in molecular synthesis. Actually. His parents are Ghanaian. Ghanaian. Nice. Molecular synthesis. That's high technology. Do you want to meet him? He's here. - No. Ken... Ken. Meet Thomas. A friend. Hello. Thomas. - Hello. Ken. How are you? - Great. I'll leave you. Well. I guess I better go too. Have a nice life. Melody. - It's no longer Melody. What? - I've changed my name. I didn't like Melody. So what is your new name? - Françoise. OK. Have a nice life. Françoise. Thank you. Thomas. You hate me. Is that it? You must stop calling me. File a complaint with my insurance. I will still call you. Yeah. I'll never file a complaint. It's not my style. I wouldn't have complained to your boss either. You don't say. It's obvious you love your work. What? I love my work? As if fucking the disabled was a vocation. No one forces you to do this. - Yes. They do. How can you be forced into it? I did some things. What things? Illegal things. I can't talk about it. I was given a substitution sentence. Wait a second. You were sentenced to being a prostitute for the disabled? You don't have to insult me. - No. I'm a hostess. Not a prostitute. I receive training. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't mean to insult you. But how can they impose that on you? I chose. What do you mean. You chose? Between a long sentence in prison and this. This was shorter. Because... That way. They'll give me back... Look. I can't talk to patients about this. I mean outside... If they were to find me... - Is Eva your real name? No. I can't use my real name anymore. - What is it? I can't give it to you. Come on. It's just a name. You don't understand. I'm in prison. There are rules. It's bad enough as it is. If... Look. I have to disconnect. Wait. They check on your private communications? They can do it. They always find out anyway. What if you called from outside. from a public place. Why would I do that? - We could talk freely. About what? Take down my code. Who knows. You may need me. I need no one. - It's Denis. Xavier. Bernard. 612. And my name is Thomas. Thomas? That's a nice name. Eva is also a pretty name. Maybe. But it's not mine. You're beautiful. Why do you say that? - Why what? You can't say that. It hurts me. I didn't mean to hurt you. I find you beautiful. That's all. You just want to fuck me with your damn suit. So my being pretty or ugly. who cares? OK. You're ugly. You're the ugliest woman of Earth. Everyone knows it but me. To me. You're beautiful. You don't know me. When will I know you? Enough. I mean... In two weeks? A year? Ten years? How much time does one have to fall in love? You're not in love with me. You just want to leave your apartment. No. I don't want to leave. You don't want to and yet you're suffocating. So you fall in love with the first woman who cries in front of you. You want her to get you out. - No. I'm fine here. Not me. I'm not buying it. You're not even handicapped. But I am. You revel in your phobias. Of course. I revel in them. That's what phobias are. You think you're smarter. Don't you? - No. You want to manipulate me. You're playing stupid games. I love you. Eva. No. You don't. You don't love anyone. You don't know what it means to love. Hello. Kevin. Hello. Mr Thomas. How are you? - Fine. You have my order? - Yes. We didn't have any Kefir Lyofi left. only Bulgarian Lyofi. You like Bulgarian? - Yes. Fine. Are you sure? If not. I'll take it back. And we'll send you some later. No. Bulgarian is fine. OK. Then. As you wish. See you in three months. Then. Yes. I'll call you. Thank you. Kevin. Hello. Hello. I apologize for this morning. You weren't so formal this morning. I shouldn't have said all that. What? - Everything I said. No. It was... A learning experience. Do you always judge people like that. from the start? In five minutes. You understand it all? It's more complicated than that. Sometimes. I talk to someone. and feel as if I were inside them. watching them from inside. As if there was a bond between us. You didn't expect me to call? No. You said you were suspicious of me. that you were afraid to call. I had good reasons to be suspicious. I got an MW today. A Major Warning. Because I called you at home? - No. Something else. I'm sorry. I'm used to it. Besides. I don't care. I don't want to cause you trouble. - Don't worry. Promise me you'll call in case of a problem. What would you do? Rescue me by visiophone? Yes. I'd rescue you. I love you. That's ridiculous. It's sincere. - Not true. I know what I'm feeling or not. If you were in love. If you loved me. you'd go outside. I can't. Too bad then. Wait. Wait. Listen... It may be conceivable. I may conceive that you come to my place. That you come into my apartment. That's not enough. But it's the same thing... For me. It's quite something. You have to go outside. - I couldn't. Yes. You can. - No. I'm sure you can. OK. Where is your apartment? Defosset Street. Near the Luxembourg Center. Are you coming? You remember the park. near the old station? On the right from Defosset Street. I'll be waiting on a bench. No. I couldn't. - I'm leaving. Eva. I couldn't. - Do you love me? And you? If you can't go out for me. I won't even ask myself. You said there was a bond between us. We'll see. I'm leaving. Hello, welcome to my home. Leave a message after the beep. Listen. I love you. Really. I do. But I'm sorry. I won't make it. I am incapable of going outside. No. Forget what I just said. Hello. You've reached Thomas Thomas. I can't answer right now. Please wait or leave me a message after the beep. Thomas. Are you there? You didn't come out. Did you? I've been waiting for an hour in the park. I heard an ambulance. It wasn't you. Right? I should have gone to see what it was. but I was afraid to miss you. Answer me. Hello. You've reached Thomas Thomas. I can't answer right now. Please wait or leave a message after the beep. Today is the day Of your birthday Happy birthday, Thomas In our hearts you are today... You're thirty three. The age of Christ. - Cheers. Here's to you. Bottoms up! I bet you had forgotten. Call us when you wake up. Cheers. Yes. Psychomot. It's you. You are Mister... Thomas. Right? - Yes. How are you? I just woke up. I didn't call you. Excuse me? - I didn't call you. How are we in contact? It's normal. Do you see the small cube next to you? It's a narco-stopper. It calls us when you wake up. Dr Sorensen wanted to talk to you. I'll go get him. Doctor Sorensen! Mr Thomas. Hello. I imagine you don't recognize me. - No. Mr Thomas. Can you tell me what you remember last? Well. I came out of my apartment. and I walked... My head was spinning and I fell down. After that. I don't remember. It's better that way. - Why? What happened? Repeated convulsions that lasted about fifteen minutes. Your heart made it. Then the ambulance brought you here. I gave you narcotics and neuroleptics. What? You touched me? I was wearing gloves. Yes. But you were near me? How did I get here? Listen. Mr Thomas. you had severe allergic reactions. I don't want to shake you up. I want to know the truth. Did you bring me here? You came into my home? What about the alarms? The insurance cut them off. Yes. I see. No nausea? No vertigo? Here. Now? No. Not at all. OK. I'll be able to send a positive report to the insurance then. You were lucky. But I wouldn't recommend these little escapades. At least not unprepared. Going out won't kill me? Your respiratory system and your heart are very weak. It's summer time. You were dressed for the North Pole. Yes. Well. Thank you. Doctor. Goodbye. The member you require is no longer connected to Visiocom. Shit. You have selected Eva, but she no longer works here. Damn! It's you. - I'd like to talk to Eva. She doesn't work here anymore. I must find her. - You must do nothing. You've done enough. She lost her job. Where can I contact her? Look. If you continue to harass me. I'll have to report it. Where is she. Damn it? - You're going too far. Tell me where she is! - I don't know. Because of you. she's in the hands of a judge... Yeah. I know. What do you know? - The madam called you and complained. Indeed. Madame Zoe is threatening to sue us. I don't give a damn. Think of all the consequences. You could be sued for... Yeah. Where's the girl? The prostitute? - Yes. The prostitute. Don't you know you're forbidden to even ask the question? I don't care. I love her. You understand? I'm your insurance company. I speak in the name of the company. OK. Enough. Thank you. Hello. Thomas. - I should've known. I am no longer your psychologist. Globale blamed you for all this? No. Not directly. They replaced me by Dr Moreau. They can. With no reason. But the girl was... Eva? - Yes. Eva. What will happen to her? She was transferred to another sector. less demanding of her body. - What? Another sentence of substitution. but a longer one. What does it consist in? I can't tell you. Thomas. Globale forbids you to have any contact with her. And it's best. Where is she? You must tell me. Listen. you know. when we were waiting for the insurance experts. I talked with Eva. - You saw her? She asked me to tell you that you were not responsible. She would have broken down anyway. She hated being a prostitute. even a medical one. You were just a catalyzer. It's not your fault. You're lying. - Excuse me? She would never have said that. It's not true. Globale told you to calm me down. You're totally paranoiac. I must find her. Where is she? Why do you need to know? You know what will happen if you go outside. Yes. I won't be a B8 anymore. I won't be handicapped and Globale will lose its contract. They pay you. So you have no interest in my going outside. Look. We all want you to get better. to go outside. But gradually. I want to find her! Remember two days ago? You almost died. Was it fun? You want to try it again? You were lucky. But if you go out. you'll die like a dog. Where is she? She's in a place where you can never find her. Never. Where? Outside your apartment. Hello, you've reached Nathalie Thomas who's not here for now, or only in this bi-dimensional, digital and pixelised version... Hello. Mom. You're calling me? - Yes. It's the first time. No. I've called you before. No. Really. It's the first time in eight years. I would have called. But... I would have come to the hospital. but they had already brought you home and said you had to rest. What got into you. Thomas? I was worried. At least. You're OK. That's what's important. How are you feeling? You look good. - I'm fine. You just came in? Yes. I went shopping. How is the weather? It just started to rain. I came in just in time. Is it cold? Did you need a sweater? Why are you asking? - Just curious. You're not going to go outside. Are you? - No. You know the risks. - Yes. So. Is it cold or not? No. It's not cold. I went out like this. OK. I'll leave you now. Already? - Yes. Alright. Good luck. Thomas. Love you, Mom. EZRA: That woman's deviousness knows no bounds. First, she purchases this lovely establishment... ... rightoutfromunderme, and now she sashays into town... ... andsellsit to those unfortunate scoundrels... ... atthefirstwhiffoffilthylucre. [LAUGHS] -Well, this is a fine deal, Mr. Brown. -We can still drink here, right? -Hello, boys. -Mary. -Ezra, may I speak to you for a moment? -Of course. I just got this wire from a certain Preston Wingo. He owns the Cattle Baron Hotel over in Snellville. It concerns your mother. Oh, Mother? Are you familiar with a gentleman by the name of Preston Wingo? I know a fat little weasel called Preston Wingo. -What about him? -Well, this Wingo has slandered you. Mary just received a telegraph... ... claimingthatyouabsconded with a pair of diamond cuff links. He's demanding you be jailed until he arrives. Jailed? I'm no thief. Yes, of course not... ... butunfortunately, the burden of proof is on you. Now, I would suggest that Mary search your bag... ... justsoyoumightacquityourself of these ridiculous charges. MARY: Sorry, Maude. This is so tiresome. My own son. Looks like Mr. Wingo was wrong. -Satisfied? -That satchel has a false lid. Go on, look. Somebody put those there. I am innocent. Well, I am afraid we are left no choice. J.D., will you assist me in escorting Mrs. Standish to the jail? Ezra, she's your mother. EZRA: Now, you'll have to forgive the appearance... ... butthemaidquit. How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child. I'm cruel, only that I may be kind, mother. After all, you should know better than to steal. You know, perhaps some time spent behind bars will be instructional. Preston Wingo put those cuffs links in my bag. He's blackmailing me. Now, why on Earth would he wanna do that? MAUDE: It's none of your business. Come on, judge wants us to ride. Well, sleep tight. Don't let the... . Well, you know the rest. What appears to be the trouble? chris: This boy just brought us a message from Judge Travis. He's over in Eagle Bend trying a colored man for murder. They're too het up for a fair trial. Judge wants us to bring the prisoner back. -All of us? -Yeah. Must be somebody famous. Name's Obediah Jackson. Chris, let me see that. What's wrong, Nathan? Somebody you know? He's my father. Hyah! NATHAN: How much further to Eagle Bend? Town's just over that rise. We should take a look before we ride in. [chattering ] Can't do this, sheriff. No disrespect, judge, but this is my town. -Looks like a hanging party. -Let me see. To the right of the water tower. NATHAN: That's my father. Now, hold on, Nathan. No sense riding into a lynch mob without a plan. Let's do this together. Come on. Enough of this. We don't need a trial. Let's go. Somebody grab some rope and tie up his hands. -The man deserves a trial. -l can walk. I'm a free man. Yeah, you're free to swing. Get a rope. Tie up his hands. I did my best to stop them, Judge Travis. Now, I can see that, Litefoot. stains: Come on, let's go, boys. Stand him up. No, bring him on this mule. Come on, get him up there. Come on, get up there. It's your last ride. There, boy. That's it. That's right. You get to go see the Lord. All right, get the rope up over there. Get up there. All right. [whistles] Hyah, hyah, hyah! Maybe you'd like to apologize for killing that white man. [GUNSHOT] Hyah, hyah! [GLASS shattering ] Glad to see you, boys. I know who you seven sons of bitches are. You're not gonna get away with this. -Right this way, gentlemen. -Yes, ma'am. I think I brought everything you asked for. MAUDE: Oh, thank you, Mary. MARY: I just hope it's not too terrible for you in here. MAUDE: Don't fret, honey. Wherever I go is home sweet home to me. Just put that over in the corner, sugarplum. MARY: You can put these down. Thanks. Maude, why would that man put his cuff links in your bag? Oh, men are such desperate creatures. When they don't get what they want, they do foolish things. Ain't that the truth. [wheezing ] [OBEDlAH coughing ] [NATHAN sobbing ] Daddy. Daddy. It's good to see you. It's good to see you too. I went looking for you after the war. Daddy, where'd you go? -lt don't matter now. -What were you doing in that town? Coming to find you. You wanna fill us in, judge? A white man was found beaten to death. He had an altercation with Mr. Jackson in front of witnesses. After they found the body... ... theystoppedMr.Jackson when he was riding out of town. When I realized how angry they were, I moved the trial. That's why I sent for you. And they decided to lynch my defendant. Daddy, let's ride. Let's get the hell out of here. -We can go to Mexico. travis: No, son, you can't do that. He's a territorial prisoner waiting for trial. I can't let my father hang for something he didn't do. -l promise you a fair trial. -With all due respect... ... howmanyNegroesgonnabe on that jury? That's enough, Nathan. Ain't nothing more important to me than being a free man. And there's one thing every free man gets in America... ... andthat'shisday incourt. I want mine. Come on, Dad. LlTEFOOT: Afternoon, gentlemen. I'm James Litefoot. travis: Where the blazes did you come from? Judge Travis, I know you have a low opinion of me... ... butthetruthofthematteris... ... nobodybutyourprofessionalshootists could have stopped Sheriff Stains today. Every man in this territory has a right to a fair trial. I couldn't agree more. Which is why I have been retained by the good people of Eagle Bend... -... toprosecutethiscrime. -Hell you will. Crime was committed in Eagle Bend, Your Honor. It's their right. Now, a sizable contingent of citizens from Eagle Bend... ... willbeheretoattendthetrial. My strong advice, sir, would be to appoint some of them to the jury. It would be not only prudent, but fair. Fair? They was gonna hang that man without a trial. All right, Litefoot. You're appointed prosecutor. Tell Sheriff Stains I'll pick some people for the jury from Eagle Bend. It's unorthodox, but I want this trial to be fair for everyone. You can also tell the sheriff we're on the job here. That he will, gentlemen. That he will. Good day. Can I have a cell like that? -Ma'am. -Nathan. -Ma'am. -l'll get you some blankets. Make it real comfortable for you. Daddy? Daddy, you all right? Fine. I'm fine. Look at you. Grown into a fine man. After I knew you made it north... ... Iusedto dreamaboutyou... ... livingasafreeman. Daddy, you didn't have to stay. You could have come with me. I would have slowed you down. -You, uh, want some supper? -After a while. All right. How's he holding up? Same as he always was. They wanna lock him up, he says, "Yes, sir, lock me up. " They wanna put him on trial, he says, "Yes, sir, put me on trial. " He'd help tie the noose if they asked him to. He's your father. What's the matter with you? When I was about 7 years old... ... ourownersdecidedtosell him and us kids away from our mother. Put us on a wagon and we ended up going to Alabama. She stayed behind in Georgia. And after a while, he had told me that she died. Now, I was just a little boy at the time, but all that time... ... Iwaitedforhim tofind away to keep our mother with us... ... oruswithher . But he never said one word. He didn't do anything. He didn't argue, he didn't even beg. He didn't put up one damn ounce of fight to keep our family together. Harsh. He should have done something. What are you doing with all that string? Keeping my mind busy. What's a white lady doing in jail? My own son locked me up. Sometimes they don't rightly appreciate what you do for them. Truer words were never spoken. [EZRA chuckling ] Well, well. My, my. It's a touch baroque, but I like what you've done with the place. -What do you want? EZRA: Hmm. Perhaps I could be persuaded to act as your advocate. You? [LAUGHS] You're the one who had me locked up. I don't find your story compellingly truthful. Well, I don't care what you think. I know I'm innocent. All right, suit yourself. Holler if you change your mind. [EZRA chuckling ] The judge says one of us needs to represent my father. I don't think it should be me. -Chris? -What? Hell, Nathan, you know Chris don't say more than three words in a day. My apologies, Nathan, but I have legal issues of my own to deal with. That's all right, Ezra. I wasn't thinking about asking you. Well, what you need is an honest, well-spoken... ... handsomemanforthisjob. Fine, I'll do it. Ain't nobody gonna listen to a youngster. Buck, you see a pretty girl in that courtroom, you're gonna be: I was thinking about Vin. I get too nervous in front of a crowd. What about Josiah? He studied Cherokee law. -That should count for something. -And he's got a suit. Josiah. -Would you do this for me? -Nathan. I'd be honored. What in the hell kind of sissy rig is that? Well, evening, boys. Mrs. Standish in there, I hope. -You must be Mr. Wingo. wingo: My reputation has preceded me. Happy to hear that. Oh. Maudie. -Oh, Maudie, light of my life. -You skunk. You're a beautiful woman, Maudie. And even more beautiful when there's fire in your eyes. You put those cuff links in my bag, didn't you? Admit it. -Say the word and I'll set you free. -Never. When as in silks my Maudie goes -Don't try to sweet-talk me. -Then methinks how sweetly flows You tell these people I didn't take your cuff links and get me out of here. -Then when I cast my eyes and see -Quit it, I hate that poem. -That brave vibration each way free -Ezra, make him leave. Oh, no, this is beautiful. God, I can't bear it. Maudie, I've substituted your lovely name for Julia's. I don't think Robert Herrick would have minded. -Get out. -lf l can't have you, then the jailer can. Uh. [WlNGO LAUGHS] Hot-blooded, passionate. What a woman. Maudie. My, my. I don't know how you manage to resist such a display of ardor. stains: We'll bear witness. We'll be on the jury. Mr. Litefoot here is gonna look after our interests here at Eagle Bend. You have entrusted me with this case... ... andsoIguaranteetoyourightnow that this man will be convicted. And hung, or-- Or you get your money back. All right, let's ride. Your name... ... Obediah. Obediah was a, uh, prophet of God. He predicted the downfall of the Edomites. The Edomites were an arrogant people. They thought they were better than everybody. They tried to destroy Obediah's people, but-- lt didn't work. Obediah's people rose up. Justice was served. Anything you wanna tell me before we go to trial? No, sir. This Obediah just wants his day in court. You tell a story like that, Josiah... ... you'lldojustfine. EZRA: Josiah. So you have any biblical parables on hand for unrepentant grifters? No. -Someone here to see you. travis: Mrs. Standish, I presume. -l'm Judge Travis. -My goodness. You are even more impressive than your reputation. Yeah? Well... . My daughter-in-law believes that Mr. Wingo's charges may be false. I wanna know why Mr. Wingo would cause... ... hisproperty to be discovered on you. Well? What will happen to me if I'm found guilty? -Are you saying the charges are true? -Definitely not. travis: Madam, get yourself in hand. Mr. Jackson's going on trial for murder. I don't have any time for horseplay. Mr. Wingo is adamant that you stole his property. And you are equally adamant that you did not. I wanna know the truth, and I wanna know it quickly. Ezra, are you acting as my attorney or not? Not so long as you leave me in the dark. Ezra, take care of this. I got a trial to convene. Good day. My, my, my, judge. You are the handsomest man I've ever met. Hasn't anybody ever told you that? Why, you're the first prisoner. Excuse me. Why are you protecting that darkie? You ever heard of something called a fair trial? My family pulled up roots in Pennsylvania. We spent every dime we had on a plantation in South Carolina. My father, my brothers, died in the war. I come back home to find... ... scalawagsandfreeNegroes had stole my land. Where's my fair trial? Sheriff Stains... . ... Idon'tgiveadamn aboutyourpast. You're in our town now. I heard you're fast. I heard that too. All right, Moth- - Ma'am... ... IbroughtMr.Wingo. We'reallgonna sit down and work this out. -Over my dead body. -That can be arranged. Come along. -Oh, good day, beautiful Maudie. -You corpulent cockroach. That's enough. You claim Mr. Wingo put those cuff links in your bag. True? He put them there so I'd agree to marry him. -Blackmail, Mr. Wingo? -No, no, she stole them. If she'd marry me, I'd agree to forget the thing. Preston, I don't wanna marry you. Why, Maudie? You know I love you. Because I've been married five times. I just don't wanna do it again. I don't like being tied down, treated like a servant. I would never treat you that way, Maudie. Never ever. Would you be willing to put that in writing? If it meant Maudie would marry me, yes, I would. What's this? Judge doesn't allow any firearms in court. Well, if you're gonna wear them, I'm gonna wear them. travis: The United States Territorial Circuit Court is now in session. In the matter of The people v. Obediah Jackson howdoesthedefendantplead? Not guilty, Your Honor. [MEN BOOlNG ] [JUDGE BANGS GAVEL] Mr. Litefoot, you may make your opening statement. [CLEARS THROAT] Your Honor... ... gentlemenofthejury. Today, you will judge a murder. A murder so depraved... ... thatallmenofconscience must cry out for justice. The people will prove that one Obediah Jackson, a Negro... ... notoftheseparts... ... did,withmaliceaforethought... ... beatuntothedeath... ... abelovedcitizenofEagleBend, Mr. Jonah Catchings. Gentlemen, such a crime must be punished to the limits of our laws... ... whichinthiscasecompelus to demand... ... alife... ... fora life. [APPLAUDlNG ] [GAVEL BANGS] Mr. Sanchez, do you have an opening statement? A, uh... . A great... ... Cherokeeshaman once said to me: "To cross a mountain... ... youmustfirstwalkupto it ." I think that explains... ... whatweareall doinghere today. Come on, Josiah, get good. Old Jonah dragged him off his horse and throwed him down. Then the Negro followed him down the street. -That's when he killed him. -So you... . -You actually saw him do it? -No, sir. I come around the comer by the feed lot and there was Jonah. His face was mushed in and there was blood all over. He was deader than a hammer. Did you see the murder take place? I'd have said so, wouldn't I? That's when I seen that fella there galloping out of town. I drawed down on him and I told him to halt. There was blood on his hands. I didn't see it happen neither. Sit down. Gentlemen of the jury, consider the facts here. Strange man, covered in blood, racing away from the scene of the crime. I don't know about you, but I don't need no eyewitness to make sense of this. -Obediah Jackson is a murderer! MEN: Yes, he is. All right, save it, Litefoot. The people rest, Your Honor. MAN: Put him in the ground. [APPLAUSE AND chattering ] [GAVEL BANGS] I'd like to thank you, Mr. Judge, for giving me my day in court. I'd like to thank my son's friend, Josiah... ... forstandingup here... ... representingme in front of all you good people here. I'll tell you the truth now. I followed Mr. Catchings behind the feed lot just like they said. And then... ... beathimto death with my bare hands. [chattering ] [MEN shouting ] travis: Order. Order. Order. Order. Order in the court. Order. I said, quiet. Now. You freely admit you killed this man? Yes, sir. But this is my day in court, and I aim to finish. I wanna tell how I came to know Mr. Catchings, the man I killed. I wanna tell this so my son will know. Mr. Catchings was the overseer on the cotton plantation in Georgia... ... wherel slaved with my wife and children... ... 1 9 yearsago. I don't need to say how bad life was to a slave. We worked from sunup to dark. We got whip. We got sold. We ain't had no hope. But this is what I need my son to know about what I did. When our little boy was 7 year old... ... hismama... ... wasforcedintocarnalrelations with Mr. Catchings. What Mr. Catchings told her was that if she didn't... ... he'dselltheboy awayfrom us. Seven years old. He'd sell him away from his mama and daddy. My wife... ... couldn'tbearthethoughtofthat. So she went to his bed. When she found out she was in a family way... ... shewasso afraid it would be that man's baby. She lost her mind. Walked into the river. Drowned herself. I would have killed Mr. Catchings then. But me and the children was loaded on wagon in chains... ... thatsameday,soldtoAlabama. It took a lot of spirit out of me. And I hope my son understands why now. So you see... ... whenI hadthechance to kill that man... ... alltheseyearslater... ... Ihadto do it . I reckon I'll find out soon enough if God hold me to judgment. But I'm glad I did it. I have to say, this is-- Well, it's a little unusual. Um, what shall I call this document? A pre-matrimonial stipulation agreement binding to both parties. All right. Where do we start? First and most important... ... shemustbe availableondemand to the marriage bed. -Except when I'd rather not. -Agreed. And he will, of course, have accounts set up in my name... ... atallthestoresandsalonsintown . Of course. Because she has to do the cooking and shopping for the house. Only if you want to starve to death. You'll want a chef and a maid. -Trust me. -Fine. And he must absolutely stop spouting that maudlin poetry at all hours. Only if she agrees to wear her wedding ring... -... whenshe'soutinthepubliceye. -l'll pick out the ring. -Mm-mm. -Agreed. is that it, then? -Can't think of anything else. -Neither can I. You both agree the wedding will be tomorrow... ... andthatallchargeswill bedropped upon return of Mr. Wingo's cuff links. -Agreed. -Agreed. I think we've made some sort of frontier history today. Until tomorrow, beautiful Maudie. [SPEAKS in FRENCH] MAUDE: Until tomorrow, Preston. Well, Mother, you're a free woman. Go and sin no more. Ezra, you haven't done much to gladden my heart in your life. I'm proud to be your mother. Thank you, Mary. Daddy. All those years. Why didn't you ever tell me? I tried to, son, but I couldn't. You had enough troubles... ... withoutcarryingthisburden in your heart. No. That made me sound too damn noble. Truth be told... ... Ijustdidn'thad the courage. And I didn't want you to think bad of your mama. She was a brave woman. Yes, sir. lt was. And all this time, I thought bad of you. You got consumption, don't you? That's why I come looking for you. travis: Mr. Jackson has confessed his guilt in open court. The jury is dismissed. [GAVEL BANGS] Keep your seats. Sit down. The people of Eagle Bend... -... demandtobe heard,YourHonor. travis: Speak your peace, Mr. Litefoot. What concerns me here, Your Honor... ... andshouldconcernall ofyou, is the following: If we allow one former slave... ... togetaway with killing his former overseer... ... donotallformerslaveshavetheright to kill their former overseers? What's next? They'll kill their former owners. Pretty soon, they'd be killing all us white folk. We need to send a message here. A message that says that no man has the right... ... northeexcuse... ... totakethelife of another human being. Thank you. [APPLAUSE AND chattering ] [GAVEL BANGS] Mr. Sanchez, do you have anything to say? Yes, I do, Your Honor. Just for a moment, I would like you to try on Obediah's boots. A man walks into your house... ... hetakesyourwife... ... andherapesher . And you are powerless to stop it. He rapes your wife... ... andthenhe threatenstotake your 7-year-old child away from you. And you... ... arepowerlessto stopit. Imagine what that must be like... ... havingtostandthere and watch this grievous harm... ... bedoneto yourlovedones . And you're powerless to stop it. I would kill that man. You. You would kill that man. But Obediah Jackson could not kill that man. Not until 20 years later. When Obediah Jackson saw Jonah Catchings again... ... herememberedall that he had suffered... ... athisvicioushand and once again felt the sting... ... ofMr.Catchings'abuse. Can any of you declare you would have acted any differently? I believe the answer is no. If ever any man deserved to die, Jonah Catchings was that man. For all that he imposed on Obediah and his family... ... doubtlesslyonmany, many others. And just as surely... ... IbelieveObediahJackson deserves to live. I believe that... ... asstronglyas Ibelieve in God's eternal love. When you pass judgment on this man, Your Honor... ... onthisdecent,long-sufferingman... ... whohasenduredendlessyears of deprivation and finally... ... finallyhasachancetoliveout his last days as a free man... ... Ibegyou... ... searchyourheart and do what is right and just. Let Obediah Jackson live. [APPLAUDlNG AND chattering ] Josiah, you silver-tongued devil. [GAVEL banging ] This court is in recess until there is order. If ever there was a justifiable killing, this is it. It's still murder. Catchings caused the death of Obediah's wife. The law allows you to defend your family. Twenty years later? The law doesn't allow for that. MARY: You can't hang him. He doesn't have long to live. -What? -He's got consumption. Nathan told me he doesn't have much time. The court is now in session. Quiet down. Quiet. I feel great sympathy for this man. However, I'm one of the bearers of the law to this territory... ... soI haveno choice. Obediah Jackson... ... you'reguiltyof murder by your own admission. You are hereby sentenced to hang for your crime. [ Skipped item nr. 574 ] [HOOTlNG AND applauding ] [GAVEL banging ] What? As I see him as no immediate threat to the community... ... theexecutionwillbecarriedout at a time in the future... ... whenI deemit necessary. For the present, the defendant will remain under house arrest... ... inthecustodyofMr.Chris Larabee, sworn officer of the court. This court is adjourned. [chattering ] Nathan, get your father out of sight. All right, listen up. I don't care what the judge says. You can't murder a citizen of Eagle Bend and get away with it. So, by God, if they won't hang him, we'll do it for them. You heard the judge. Go home. You stole my bullets. Now, careful, mister, we'll send them back. stains: Uh-huh. It sure is easy to look tough... ... whenyouhaveloadedweapons and we don't. I guess you men wouldn't be interested in a fair fight, would you? Well, I think we can manage a fair fight. -What do you say, boys? -Oh, I love a fair fight. [MEN grunting ] [GUNSHOT] Leave my boy alone. Sheriff, I could kill you right now. But truth be told, I don't want to. You want to kill me, but I ain't gonna kill you. Because it ain't right. You know that. And I know that. Justice has been done here today. Now, go home. Come on, get out of here. Get on your horses. Whoo! Here you go. Thank you, son. What's this? Boiled skunk? Some herbs. They'll help with the cough. I'm proud of you, Daddy. You've made me proud too, son. Grown into a fine man, yes, sir. I'm glad I got to see it. Here. I made this for your horse. It's a bridle. It's beautiful. I came all this way. Want to bring my son a present. You already did. You already did. [ORGAN playing ] MAUDE: Yah! Giddyup. -Aw, hell. -Where do you think you're going? -You didn't think for a moment... ... Iwasgonnamarrythat dreadfulman, did you? You-- You signed a contract. Yes, and he dropped the charges. I'm free as a bird. -Well, what am I supposed to do? -What you've always done, sweet boy. Just what your mother tells you. I was gonna mail it. Yah! Giddyup. Well? I have a message for you from the bride. It seems to be a poem. "With apologies to Robert Herrick. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may old Time is still a-fIying And this same flower That smiles today will never have To set eyes on you again You bloated wood tick P.S. Thank you for the lovely carriage. " What a woman. It's breakfast and you're eating a piece of candy? It's dessert. There is no dessert with breakfast. Maybe not where you live. Will you at least take your vitamin? My God, you're a time bomb. [Sighs] What you got goin' on there, bub? Before I swallowed the vitamin, there was a lifesaver in my mouth. Wow. You're like the evel knievel of sucking candy. Wish me luck. I got it. And welcome back, butterscotch goodness. [Spits] ♪ My eyes are gettin' weary ♪ ♪ my back is gettin' tight ♪ I'm sittin' here in traffic ♪ ♪ on the queensboro bridge tonight ♪ ♪ but I don't care, 'cause all I want to do ♪ ♪ is cash my check and drive right home to you ♪ ♪ 'cause, baby, all my life ♪ I will be drivin' home to you ♪ Howdy. Oh, hey. You're home. Thought you were gonna go pick up those patches for the screen door. Well, I was, and then I thought that sounded like a good errand for you. [Chuckles] Ooh. Orange Julius. [Slurping] Ok, honey, I told you before. If it's empty by the time you get home, leave the cup in the car. Don't come in here showboatin' with it. Sorry. So did you get me anything? Um, as a matter of fact, yes, I did. Ah! Oh! Look at this. Hi, shirt. You get to be draped across my nipples. Congrats! Ok, well, you two get acquainted. I'm gonna go put this stuff away. Hey, dad. Look at this. 4 more break-ins on casino boulevard. It's getting so you can't walk out the door anymore. Well, you can walk out the door. You just can't go left. That's not the point. A man should be able to walk out his front door, turn right, turn left, or walk right out into the street if he wants to. Don't make me lock you in the house, dad, ok? Well, hello. Ooh. That shirt looks sexy on you. Does it? I, uh, hadn't noticed. Hi, I'm Doug. I'm a pisces. I like walks in the rain and bags of pork rinds. Work it, baby. Work it. I got the trash, babe. That'll be our deal. Every time you buy me a shirt, I take out the trash. Oh, that's ok, honey. I got it. I got it. No, really. It's fine. What--what is this? Barry's big and tall shop? What? Oh, that's trash, baby. You got my shirt at the big and tall shop? Did I? No, I don't think so. Oh, I got myself something there. What? A barrette. Oh, stop it, Carrie. You got my shirt at the big and tall shop and you were hiding the bag from me. Ok, fine. I'm sorry. Oh, man, I can't believe this. At most I thought I was, like, the biggest size at Macy's. When did I make the crossover? 2 years ago, Christmas. Oh, God! Come on, honey. What's the big deal? It's just a big and tall store. Oh, yeah? Well, let me break it down for you. I'm certainly not tall. You're tall. Sure you're tall. What are you, 6'2"? I'm 5'9". That's pretty damn tall. Oh, would you come on? All right. Maybe you're a little bit big. Why is this even a discussion? The man is gargantuan. Ok, what else came from the big and tall shop? Tell me. What-- this belt? My--my jeans? My cowboy shirt? What? A few things might have come from there. I don't know. Ok, then let's go the other way with it, ok? What didn't come from the big and tall shop? Ok. I will show you. The thing is they use very good fabric. There's nothing in there, is there? Yes, there is. This. Ok, fine. Great. Well, you know what? This is what I'm gonna be wearing from now on, so you better get used to it, missy, ok? I can't feel my hands. Hi, babe. What are you doin'? Lookin' at myself in various stages of fatness. Look at this. Come here. Watch this. You can actually see me gaining weight. Hey. Watch this. And there goes my neck. Ok, would you stop this now? Here. Just watch some t.V. ♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪ ♪ if not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪ ♪ the minnow would be lost ♪ ♪ the minnow would be lost ♪ Oh, my God. I'm fatter than the skipper. Ok. Enough. This is brutal. I knew I wasn't slim or even normal size, but seein' that bag, you know? Honey, you are really overreacting to this. I mean, you are totally attractive. So you--you still love me? Of course, I still love you. I love you no matter what. What does that mean, "no matter what"? Nothing. Just that I love you. No, "no matter what" means you love me even though I have some sort of problem, like no job or no money, or biggie can't fit through doorway! Ok. I take it back. I love you. That's it. Period. No, come on, Carrie. I'm being serious here. Let's go. You're telling me right now you have no problem with that area in here? Nothing? Well, you know, for health reasons-- no, no, no, no. I'm not talkin' about health here, ok? Let's assume I'm in perfect health and I don't have that flutter. I want to know right now: Am I as sexy and attractive to you as ever? Huh? Is this it for you? Am I perfect? Well, ahem... I guess it wouldn't kill me if you lost a little weight. Aha! Ok, and how much weight would it not kill ya for me to lose? I don't know. 50 pounds? 50? All right! Less! Whatever. You made me say it. I can't believe you said 50! Doug, come on! You know I love you no matter-- ah... This is-- this is unbelievable. You know, here I am walking around thinking everything's great. Meanwhile, you're smuggling in my clothes and hating the way I look! No, I don't hate the way you look, ok? But, yes, I admit it. You could lose a little weight. But, Doug, come on. I'm sure there are things about me you wish were different that you hold back on. You? No, you're-- you're perfect. Yeah, right. Hey, look, when you start getting the old lady whiskers, I'll let you know, but for now you're fine. Doug, come on. This could be really good for our marriage. I mean, if there are things bothering us about each other, we should just get them out there, you know? It's healthy. I guess. All right, so come on. Hit me, baby. Uh... I guess maybe sometimes... You wear a little too much makeup. What do you mean? Well, just, you know, all that goop over there. Sometimes I think you could just... Back her down a notch. Ok, this is stinging more than I thought it would. So you really think I wear too much makeup? No. I just-- like if we're going out for burgers, you know, and I throw on a pair of sweatpants and a baseball hat, you look like you're going to the opera... Or you're in the opera. Ok. Ok. I will try to wear less makeup. Well, this is great. All right. But we're gonna do this together, ok? And I'm gonna join a gym and start to diet. I'm gonna whip this body into shape 'cause nobody's calling me fatty mcbutterpants anymore. Somebody called you fatty mcbutterpants? On line at the bank yesterday, yeah. And it took seeing the big and tall bag to push you over the edge? Mmm-hmm. Ok. I dieted for the last 8 hours. Granted I was asleep, but I can feel it. Something's happening. And I have almost no makeup on. Take a good look around, fat, look at this house, 'cause you ain't comin' back here no more. By the way, uh, I'm joining the gym on the Deacon's family plan, so if anybody calls, he's the man I share my life with. Carrie. I'm not putting it on! I'm just looking at it. It's sparkly. Ok. Darling, let me introduce you to Frank, a.K.A. Mr. safety. "Mr. safety"? Reading about this recent crime wave made me concerned for your well-being. Just sit him on the passenger seat in your car when you go to work, and the carjackers will move on to easier prey. Dad, I take the subway to work. Well, then, take him on the subway with you. He has no legs. Pretend he's an amputee. Dad, how is a legless doll gonna protect me on the subway? Why are you being so difficult? I'm trying to save your life! Oh, forget it! Nope. [People chattering] [Sighs] What's up, ladies? All right. Let's light this candle. [Grunts] ♪ My blood runs cold ♪ my memory has just been sold ♪ ♪ angel is a centerfold ♪ angel is a centerfold [yells] [Yells] ♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na ♪ na-na, na-na, na-na ♪ na-na, na-na, na-na [screaming] (Doug) Little help? [Sighs] Hello, Douglas. So... You, uh... You got your guy at the table now, huh? That's right. Ne'er-do-Wells could be casing our house as we speak. Yeah? Then why you playing pinochle with him? Because, moron, if I don't treat Mr. safety like a real person, they'll know he's a fake. Yeah, well, I gotta tell you, still weird. What's up with the walk, frankenstein? [Chuckles] [Chuckles] I just joined the gym, and I might have overdone it. Gym, huh? Throwin' your money away. I got 2 words for you, friend: Dynamic tension. Give me a bag of rice, gallon of milk, and a rubber band, and I'll give you a workout you won't soon forget. Don't work out with my milk, ok? I'm telling you, it works. Look at the shape I'm in. I weigh exactly what I weighed when I was 12 years old. [Groaning] [Sighs] [Groaning] ♪ She's a superfreak, superfreak ♪ ♪ she's superfreaky yeow. What was that? You are not going to believe this. At work I got all these compliments about the no-makeup thing. I mean, people telling me I looked great, and, like, younger. Really? Yes! And I actually got carded at lunch, and then I went to 2 other places, got carded again. I'm not gonna lie to you, honey. I'm a little looped. [Laughs] That's--that's great. Great for you. It is great, isn't it? We decided to be more honest with each other. You know, set some goals, work on some stuff, and we did it. Yeah, we--we did it. Yeah. You're done. Wow. It's like without my makeup, my eyes stand out in this really great way. And my mouth is so naturally pouty. I tell you, this telling each other stuff was the best thing we ever did, babe. You know, there is other stuff. Huh? There's more things that you could work on about yourself, you know. There are? A couple, yeah. Well, how come you didn't mention it the other night? I guess I didn't want to dump everything on you all at once. I thought this makeup thing was gonna be hard enough, but now-- ok. Like what? Um... Your accent. My accent? It's a little thick, honey. Ok, well, what the hell am I supposed to do? It's the way I talk. "Talk." See? That right there, "talk." So what are you saying? After 7 years all of a sudden, my accent bothers you? It's not a question of it bothering me. I mean, look, are you smart? Sure. Do you sound smart? [Grunting] O-ok. Um, so what else? Your laugh. My laugh? Yeah. Ha! Well, I thought people think my laugh is fun. Yes, if you think loud, scary noises are fun. O-ok. So what else? What else? Nothing else. Come on. Tell me! There's nothing else! Is it my forehead? What? Last week I told you my hairdresser said I had a big forehead. You said it was fine, but you were lying, weren't you? To protect you, yes. [Man chattering on t.V.] Hey, fellas. Could I speak to Arthur in private? He's for safety! That's all. Watch this part. Carrie, come on, let's go. I'm comin'! Coming. I'm coming. (Movie announcer) From Columbia pictures, comes a comedy about a happy-go-lucky polygamist and his 5 very different wives. It's your classic boy-meets-girl-meets-girl- meets-girl-meets-girl- meets-girl story. (Man) Honeys! I'm home! [Laughing] What's up with her? (Man) How can 5 women have a headache on the same night! [Laughing] Oh, my. Hey, deac, question for you. Yeah. You ever feel bad about yourself so you tell Kelly there are things wrong with her just to, you know, hurt her? You're asking me if I mentally abuse my wife? Yeah. No, I don't. Me neither. Wait. All right, get up. I'm awfully sorry, sir. I made the mistake. I press this button. Same mistake. (SINGING IN FRENCH) Pardon moi, monsieur. I'm a wee bit nervous. (CONTINUES SINGING) Just relax. BARBER: Now, monsieur, the egg. (BARBER SCATTING) (SINGING IN FRENCH) (CONTINUES SINGING) (IN FRENCH ACCENT) Oh, pardon, monsieur. Oh, I am so sorry. I make the mistake. I am sorry, sir. Please forgive me. I am... Oh, please... I didn't come here for breakfast! Now, let's forget the whole thing! Forget it! Just relax, sir. Here. Forget it! This button will make you relax. (MACHINE WHIRRING) No, it's all right. Will you stop this? How do you stop this? Is good. It make you relax. (GROANS) Get me out of here! Get me out! Oh, pardon moi! Oh, pardonnez-moi, monsieur. Let me out. Wait, I shall get the button. WILBUR: Easy! One moment. Stop this thing. Voila, we stop. Good, oui? And now to get you down. Just one moment. One moment, monsieur. Monsieur, one moment. (SIGHS) And now for the landing. (GASPING) Hey, hey, hey, hey! Let me go! Let me go! There we are, monsieur. You are next. Shampoo? You're a sick man. That's it! I've got the merchandise all right, but I can't deliver it. They're checking everyone in and out of the hotel. Well, what if they find it on you? Don't worry, they won't. Wait a minute. I think I just figured it out. I'm sending a man around to the apartment. He'll give you a scalp massage. He'll have the merchandise in his pocket. I got it. Bye. Which pocket? Hello? Would you like to try it one more time? I should not like to try it one more time. I should not like to see your face one more time. Allow me, sir. Thank you. Not at all. Could you help me, monsieur? It is lunchtime. But my wife would like a treatment at home. Oh, the wife would like a treatment. Oh, monsieur! Oh, but I cannot leave the shop. Oh, it'll be all right, Francois. I am not Francois. Oh, I'll speak to him personally. Oh, well, if you think it will be all right, monsieur. I should like very much to give the wife the treatment. Thank you very much. I shall get the equipment. I think I have everything. I appreciate this. It's the Sunland Arms, apartment 12B. You'd better hurry. There's no time to lose. Her scalp must be in very bad shape. It is. (DOORBELL BUZZING) (IN FRENCH ACCENT) Oh, uh, hello, I am Wilbert. Your husband sent me here to make the scalp happy. Oh, come in. It is not easy to come through this little hole. Oh, I'm sorry to have kept you out there in that cold hall, honey. But, you know, a nice girl can't be too careful. (COUGHS) Why don't you take your coat off? Oh, no, this is fine, thank you. All right, here is the coat. (COUGHS) I must find the place to plug in the equipment. Over there. Oh, merci. (CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY) (WHIRRING) Well, I am now ready to begin. So am I. You know something? What? You're cute. Do you know something? Whisper it in my ear. The scalp is dry. Come with me. Where? Come with me. (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) Do you dance? Oh, but the treatment. Try this. Oh, that's wonderful. Try it again. Turn around. (MUSIC STOPS) But what about the treatment? Oh, I know what great lovers you Frenchmen are. Kiss me. Oh, that's good. You! What are you doing with my wife? Uh, massaging the scalp. Oh, oh, pardon moi. The jacket. It's very warm here. The jacket. Merci beaucoup, mademoiselle. I ought to kill you for this. (GRUNTING) If you lay one... If you lay un hand on me, you know what I will do? What? I'll bleed. Au revoir. If I ever see your ugly face again, I'll kill you. I want you to get out of town and stay out. (IN NORMAL VOICE) Yeah, all right, but I can't leave from up here. Is there anything else? Now, if you come back to this town, I'll know it. And I'll get you. Understand? (STUTTERING) Oh, yes, sir. Oh, I won't come back to this town, honest. As a matter of fact, I'm going home today. Tout de suite. Here, let me... Let me show you. You see, here's my... my fare, $26.40, to Blitzen, Washington. Oh, man. Oh, be careful, bleeding. Maybe I didn't make myself clear. I'm going to get the very first train home. I swear, honest, so... So, goodbye. Au revoir. Remember me to the little woman. (TITTERING) (STUTTERING) Goodbye, man. Nice... Nice going. Let's have the diamond. Here you are. It's only bubblegum, stupid. But it was in his pocket. I thought... Oh, he's still got it on him. Well, you can get it back. You know where he's going. MAN 1 ON PA: Miss Collins. Thank you. Thank you. Miss Nancy Collins. Please report to the Camellia Room in the station. Camellia room? Immediately. Not that way. In back of you. Oh! MAN 2 ON PA: Your attention please. The Southern Pacific, number 57... (PLAYING I KNOW YOUR MOTHER LOVES YOU) I beg your pardon. * I know your mother loves you * Your father loves you, too * But their kind of love is no kind of love * Next to my love for you * I'm sure you find their kisses most satisfactory * But you're going to hiss the very next kiss * After one kiss from me * Your French poodle is off his noodle * Never goes out to play * He guards you night and day * That job is mine I say * Say * I know the cop, the mailman * Yes, and the milkman, too * Agree that you're rare * And I more than share their view * So tell your father and your mother * And your sister and your brother * And the poodle, too * That they'll never ever love you * like I do. CHORUS: * This fella won't love you like a relative * This fella has lots and lots of love to give * I know your uncle loves you * Your auntie loves you, too. Yes, of course. * But no relative can possibly give what I could give to you. That's true. * I know your doctor loves you * Your dentist loves you, too I'm not so sure. * No skill with a drill or vitamin pill * Is like my cure for you. You're the doctor. * Men with millions and plain civilians * For you they'd gladly toil. For little old me? * Texans who drill the soil * Baby, you'd make their oil boil CHORUS: Ow! * Soldiers, marines and sailors * Grocers and tailors, too * Agree that you're rare * And I more than share their view * So tell your father and your mother * And your sister and your brother * And the Texan, too * That they'll never ever love you * like I do * Oh, no * No, they'll never ever love you * Love you, baby, like I do * Man, I'm really in love. (ALL APPLAUDING) Next. I'd like a ticket to Blitzen, Washington, please. Blitzen, Washington? That'll be $31.10. Here you are, $26.40. You're short. I know, but Dad was very tall. You need $4.70 more. Oh, no, I think you're wrong, sir. You see, because last year when I came from Blitzen, Washington to Los Angeles, it cost $26.40. Now it doesn't seem fair to go from Los Angeles to Blitzen, Washington for $31.10, so I think something's wrong. Plus the fact, this is all the money I have. I saved it up. Rates went up last February. Please, I'm in a hurry. I'm sorry, lady, but... (GRUNTS) Look. Chicago. One ticket for me and one half-fare, please. The boy under 12? Oh, yes. I'm 11 years old. Ooh! I was born February 22nd, 1943. (GASPING) He's a little big for 11. Sure, I'm a sailor. You want me to give you the death ray? Now, Marty. Well, then give me a quarter for a flying saucer or I'll let him have it. All right, dear. Here. MAN ON PA: Last call for the Santa Fe, San Bernardino local, train number 54. Leaves at 5:30 p.m., entering through gate J. This is the last call. I'll take this one. 25 cents, please. Here you are, I'll pay for that. Thank you. Oh, don't be frightened. (SHUDDERING) Here. No, no, no, that's for you. I like little boys who have space guns. You know why? 'Cause I have a space collection. You have? Oh, sure, they're right here in this bag. And do you know that when I went to the moon, I got my first space gun. And since then, I've added almost 350 space guns to my collection. I have one space gun that shoots out little men, and those little men have space guns that shoot darts. And when I was in Tibet, I got a space gun with camels sitting on the top of it, just about so big. I know it's pretty difficult to believe that, but you must believe me. The train leaves in 15 minutes. What if we miss him? Not a chance. I'm getting on that train. What are you going to do to him? Shut him up for good after I get the diamond. Now go on home, wait for my call. All right, but be careful. MAN ON PA: Your attention, please. The return portion of tickets purchased in the East require validation before boarding your train. Validation desks are located adjacent to the stationmaster's office. Oh, I'm awfully sorry. Hi, sonny. Oh, don't you touch me. I'm not going to touch you. You leave me alone! But, sonny. (GROANING) I'm not going to hurt you. You're not? Of course not. Oh, then will you buy me a ticket, please? No, I think you should let your daddy buy you a ticket. (WAILING) I want a ticket! Buy me a ticket! I want a ticket! (EXCLAIMS) What are you doin' to the kid? My uncle won't buy me a ticket, and I got the money. I hate goofs who pick on kids. Goofs? Goofs! I hate goofs, too. Then buy the kid a ticket. But he's no relative of... (WAILING) I want a ticket! Buy the kid a ticket. All right, nephew. Thank you, man. MAN ON PA: Your attention, please. Will Miguel Cruz kindly come to the stationmaster's office? Where you going? Blitzen, Washington, half-fare. Half-fare, Blinses, Washington. No, Blitzen, Washington. Blintzes? No, Blitzen. Blitzen, Washington, half-fare. Half-fare for whom? For him. For me. How old are you? Well, I'll be 12 on my next birthday. I'm going to be a space cadet. Shall I give you my death ray? Why you little... It's the only way I can get him to drink his milk. Watch. Open your mouth, nephew. MAN ON PA: Your attention, please. Southern Pacific Coast Daylight train number 98 is now arriving. He's going to be a space cadet. If he lives, he'll be a space cadet. MAN ON PA: Last call, train for Sutton and Blitzen. Gate B, now open. All aboard. (HORN BLARING) Excuse me, is that seat taken? No. Good. Where are you going? What? I said where are you going? CONDUCTOR 1: Tickets, please. Oh, home. Tickets! Tickets! Sorry, I haven't been able to find your French friend anywhere. We stop at Blitzen, don't we? CONDUCTOR 1: Yes, sir. I'll find him. Uh, together? No. Tickets, please. Half-fare? How old are you? Oh, I'll be 12 years old on my next birthday. If I don't have an accident. Stand up. He wants you to stand. You! You stand up! Oh. Higher. Higher, all the way. That's it. You're awful big for 12. Oh, it's glands. The whole family had glands. Why, my mother was 6'4". We called her shrimp. If you're only 12, you're pretty young to be traveling alone. Oh, well, that's all right. I'm not scared. I'm going be a space cadet. Where are you going? Home. Oh, here it is right here. You're going to... (GROANING) What's the matter? Oh, I'm train sick! The rocking. Here's your ticket. Oh, I... I'm train sick. The... The rocking of the train. I'm really sick. I get nauseous on a train from rocking and when it goes fast and it shakes back and forth. I'm really very sick from the train. Would you please keep quiet? Yeah. I dropped my gun, mister. Wow! (TITTERING) My gun shoots milk. Look, would you mind getting out of here? Not at all. (PEOPLE EXCLAIMING) Oh, I'm... What is the matter with you? I'm awfully sorry. I'm just a little nervous. I'm awfully sorry I dropped my suitcase, and I hope I didn't hurt you, mister. I'll put all my things back in the suitcase, and I'll get out of your way. What is this? (EXCLAIMING) Look out, conductors! It's the little boy! Look out! (SIGHING) Oh, geez. He can't have gone far. I've got to find him. CONDUCTOR 1: You've got to find him? We've got to find him. Half-fare! CONDUCTOR 2: He must be around here someplace. Hello. Goodbye. The train hasn't stopped. He couldn't have gotten off. What's the matter, son? You're trembling. I have very loose bones. Are you lost? No. Where's your mother? I'm traveling all alone. And you started wandering around the train and now you don't know where you're supposed to be? I'll call the conductor. Oh, no! I mean, I... I do know where I'm supposed to be, in the day coach, but I don't like it there very much. I don't feel so good, right here. I bet I know your problem. You do? Mmm-hmm. They gave you money to buy your dinner, and instead of that you bought some ice cream, and some candy and maybe some soda pop? Yeah, and some marshmallows, and some cotton candy, and popcorn and cigarettes. Cigarettes? Oh, I mean can-candy cigarettes, chocolate. Oh! Why don't you sleep here? Here? I'm sure your mother would want you looked after. I'll call the conductor. Oh, no, don't do that. Why? Oh, well, he doesn't like me, see, and... and he's not a nice man because we were talkin' about trains, and I told him I had 13 cars in my set, and he only has 11, and he's jealous and nasty, he is. All right, then. I'll ring for the porter. Oh, no. If you press that buzzer, I'll be killed! What an imagination! Well, don't you see? The porter and the conductor are in cahoots against me. Oh. Well, then, why don't we make up the upper berth ourselves? Oh! Oh, yeah, okay. Good. I get off in the morning at Twin Lakes, but you're all right for tonight, anyway. Thank you, let me help you. You're awfully nice. Thank you. Here. What's your name? Wilbur. Wilbur Hoolick. Do you have pajamas with you, Wilbur? Yes, lady, I have. You may call me Aunt Nancy. Aunt Nancy. Willy. Oh, help! Help! Help! Wilbur! Oh, help! Get me... Get me down! Oh! Oh! Help! Help! (GRUNTING) Oh, Wilbur, are you all right? Oh, you broke your glasses. Did you ever have a day when just everything went wrong? Take your things and go in there and change. Thank you. If you have any trouble with your buttons, just sing out. (TRAIN HORN BLARING) (THUNDER CRACKING) Oh! Are you all right, Wilbur? Yes, I'm fine. There's nothing to be frightened of. It's just the storm that woke you up. You mustn't be afraid of thunder and lightning. I'm not afraid. Oh, yes, you are. All youngsters are. Why, I was terrified when I was your age. I used to crawl in with my little brother. Remember, I'm only your nephew. (THUNDER RUMBLING) This going to be a bad one. Just hang on to me tight, Willy. I... I'm all right, really. Just rest your head against my shoulder. I can't do that. Your husband wouldn't like that. I have no husband. I'm not married, either. I hope not. And I'm glad you're not married. Why? Should I tell you? Yes. No, I better not. Not tonight. I'll tell you in the morning. It's a surprise. Good, I like surprises. (THUNDER RUMBLING) Uh-oh, it's going to be a bad one. (THUNDER CRACKING) Well, I think I'd better get upstairs, and you'd better go to bed, too. Yeah, okay. In you go. Are you all right now, Willy? I never felt so good, Aunt Nancy. (CHUCKLING) Good night, Willy. Good night. (WHISTLE BLOWING) Wow. Agnes! Agnes! Hurry, come on! Yes, Mr. Miles. Take over. Yes, Mr. Miles. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. (TIRES SCREECHING) Oh! Oh. You all right? Good brakes. They'd better be. I can't afford to run down the boss's daughter. Why don't I pack us a picnic lunch? This is the kind of a day to play hooky. I've already thought of that. Good. But I'm on my way to pick up Nancy. There was a washout last night, and the train's been stalled about five miles out of town. Oh. Well, I guess a big railroad like that can get her here safely. Probably, but I... I did promise to pick her up. All right, I'll go with you. No, but I promised her, I... Unless I'm in the way. Oh, no. No, you're not in the way. (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) What happened in Los Angeles? I saw Colonel Blair, and he thinks I should get my papers in a week or so. I know Karen Blair quite well. Perhaps I can speed up your orders? That'd be wonderful. Don't mention it. Beautiful tune. The words are pretty, too. Do you know them? I think so. * Love is all that matters * And we've got love * We have walked off with a prize * The stars that I used to see * Are not where they used to be * They only will shine for me * in your eyes * You are all that matters * And I've got you * We're on top and we won't fall * No fortune that we can boast * We're happy with tea and toast * For we've got love * And love matters most * of all (EXCLAIMING) Good morning, Willy. Oh, uh, good morning, Aunt Nancy. Did you sleep well? Yes, fine, thank you. What happened? The train ain't moving? A bridge washed out down the road. There's nothing to be frightened of. Oh, I'm not frightened when I'm with you. That's very nice. You know, someday, I hope I have a little man like you. That's very nice. You know something? When I met you last night, that was the nicest thing that ever happened to me. Well, thank you, Willy. Well, you know, it... it's like... Well, everything is different. It's... Well, it's very hard to explain, but I have a very funny feeling in my stomach. What you need is a good breakfast. You're a growing boy. Oh, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. We'll have a nice talk right after breakfast. Oh, but this is very important. I'm sure it is, and I want to hear all about it. Well, I'd like to start from the beginning. After breakfast. But this is very important! Now, what would you like? How about some oatmeal and a nice big glass of milk, huh? That'll build up your strength. I'll take a look down this way. Oh, hello. Hello. Do you have a Nancy Collins listed? Nancy Collins. Let me see. Cooper, Collins, yes. Drawing Room B. Right in here. Thanks. (BELL BUZZING) Nancy? Nancy? Nancy. (SCREAMS) Beg your pardon, I must have the wrong... Wrong room. Excuse me. That's quite all right. Oh! Oh, why, Gretchen. What are you doing here? I drove down with Bob. He was worried about you. How nice. Where is he? Well, I'm sure it doesn't matter. You seem to have plenty of company. What do you mean? If I were you, I'd stay on this train and keep going. What are you... Oh! Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry. You're sorry. Oh. Well, Gretchen, what happened to you? I found Nancy. What'd you do, have breakfast with her? I think you better not go in there. Why? Well, she's sharing her drawing room with a man. Nancy? He was in bed when I walked in. Oh, there's some mistake. Yes, there's a mistake all right, and Nancy's made it. Gretchen, I think you've said about enough. Well, I saw him! You coming? No. Not until I hear Nancy's side of the story. Uh-huh. Drawing Room B. I'll see you at school. Aunt Nancy, I still have something on my mind. (BELL BUZZING) BOB: Nancy. Oh, no! Wilbur. Hello, Bob. We'd better do something fast. Gretchen thinks there's a man in here. It's Willy. Willy? Willy! Willy? Hello. Oh, it's the kid! You two know one another, huh? Sure, I'm his part-time uncle. I bought him his train ticket. But what's he doin' here? He wasn't feeling well last night, so I let him sleep here. And Gretchen doesn't know he's a little boy. She was in too big a hurry to spread the word. I'll bet you that board meeting's goin' on right this minute. Well, I felt it was my duty to come to you, the board, and... and give you an insight into the private life of Nancy Collins. It's the most outrageous conduct I've ever heard of. Miss Brendan, you say you actually saw this man in her, uh... drawing room? Oh, yes, Professor Okell. And when I confronted her with it, she hit me with a tray. (MEMBERS EXCLAIMING) This is outrageous. No breath of scandal has ever touched the Brendan School for Girls, nor shall it now. I move that we vote for the dismissal of... (KNOCK AT DOOR) Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, Mrs. Brendan, but I had a train to meet. We were just taking a vote on the dismissal of Nancy Collins. Good, I'll vote, no. You'll what? Don't you think Nancy should be allowed to testify on her own behalf? I hardly think she'd have the nerve to appear, let alone testify. Have you heard what happened? I was there. I saw it. You... You mean you saw the man? Did I? He was very suave, sophisticated. A man of the world. You know, Nancy never had a chance. Well, that explains everything. I'll let you see for yourself. (ALL MURMURING) Mr. Wilbur Hoolick. WILBUR: Hello. I... I can do a trick! Want to see it? Excuse me, Aunt Nancy, I'm gonna do a... Help me with the trick. Oh, Wilbur, stop. Help me with the trick! I want to do it! One trick. Hold my hands and then... All right. Oh! I landed right on my feet. Very suave. And, uh, and a good trick. Oh, swords! Wilbur! Come on, let's have a fight like you see in the movies! En garde! Wilbur! (ALL EXCLAIMING) Wilbur! See? Oh, no! Oh, no, spare me, sir. Give me that. Oh, please, spare my life. Be a good boy! Oh, thank you. Thank you, sir. Thank you very much. Kill you! And you, men, take the helm and take over! It's not loaded! (WOMEN SCREAMING) That's the signal! Board the boat, men! Board the boat, men! All right, rocket service! Let's drink a toast. That was a successful voyage. Throw it down! No! Throw it down! (WHINING) Throw it down! Oh! Call the meeting to order. Young man! Mrs. Brendan, I believe I can explain. You see, Willy, here, had a tummy ache last night. There was no place for him to sleep, so I invited him to stay in my drawing room. Well, I... I think that was highly commendable. I apologize if I have violated any rules. Well, under these circumstances... Meeting's adjourned. That's right. I'm sorry, Nancy. Well, I... I better be going. Now, it would be a shame to lose such an adorable little boy so soon. Why don't you stay for the Saturday night party? I'm sure you'd enjoy meeting all the little girls. No, I think I'd better be running along. Good. Thank you, Aunt Nancy. Goodbye, everybody. ALL: Goodbye. Bye! Hello. (STUTTERING) (SCREAMING) (BOB GROANING) Surprise, I'm back. I thought you were leavin'. Oh, I decided to stay for the party. How nice. Well, I have a class. I'll see you later, Willy. Yeah. You know, I'm glad you changed your mind. Oh, yeah, I'd much rather be in here than out there. I know, you can room with my brother. He's just about your age. Oh, won't that be a lot of fun. Bob, will you take him over to my house? I'll join you later. You know, there are 200 girls waiting to meet you. Oh, and I just can't wait to meet them. Come on, Wilbur. He's a remarkable boy. GIRL: Come on, hurry! Come on. Oh, get it! No, no! Catch, Uncle Bob. Wilbur, come here. (STUTTERING) Thank you for the game. Come on, come on. Come here! What is this, an obstacle course? Wilbur! Come on, Wilbur. What kind of school are you running here, anyhow? It's a school for girls, and the reception committee is going to be here any minute. I don't need no reception committee. Of course you do. Why should you be any different? Because I don't think I need a reception committee. (BAND PLAYING) GIRLS: * Face the music when you've got trouble * Face it, face it and you'll chase it far away * Just face the music You'll make your worry hurry, scurry * Not a care will dare to stay * The drums are drumming * You should be humming * Joy is coming Coming for to make you gay * So blow the trumpets, bang the cymbals * When they start to play * Face the music * Play the music * Every day's a happy day (PANTING) I want to march. You can't march. I want to lead the march! All right, march. Fall in! (DRUMBEAT ROLLING) * Face the music when you've got trouble * Face it, face it and you'll chase it far away * Just face the music * You'll make your worry hurry, scurry * Not a care will dare to stay * The drums are drumming * You should be humming * Joy is coming Coming for to make you gay * So blow the trumpets, bang the cymbals * When they start to play * Face the music * When there's music * Every day's a happy day. Fall in! GIRLS: * Face the music * Face it and you'll chase your troubles away * Face the music * Hurry * Not a care will dare to stay * Drums are drumming * Joy is coming * Joy is coming to make you gay * The trumpets, cymbals, start to play * Every day's a happy day * Face the music * Face the music * Face the music * Every day is gonna be a happy day * Face the music * Play the music * Every day's a happy day. GIRLS: Wilbur! Gretchen? That's Aunt Gretchen. Gretchen? Oh, here you are. You're just in time. I was about to fix some tea. Oh, I can't stay. I'm late for my class now. I just come over to deliver Wilbur. Well, if you can't. Have a good time. Thank you. I'll see you later. Bye, Bob. Bye. Oh, where's my suitcase? Your suitcase is in Michael's room. Come along. I'm sure you two will get along just fine. Oh, thank you, Aunt Gretchen. Here's my hat. (MACHINE RATTLING) (SIGHS) Oh, Michael! How many times have I told you to clean up this room? I brought you a weekend guest. Thanks. This is Wilbur Hoolick. My brother, Michael. Hello. Hi. Well, I'll leave you two to get acquainted. Thank you very much, Aunt Gretchen. Oh, my goodness. Look at all those pretty rocks and stones. (DOOR CLOSING) My, there must be a million of 'em here. How old are you, anyway? Twenty? Twenty-five? What are you talkin' about? You crazy? I... I'm just a little kid. Yeah? I looked through your suitcase. How often do you shave? Once every day. That's better. Well, you're not going to give me away, are you, Mike? It's very important to Nancy that you don't. She'll be in very big trouble if you do. Now, why are you dressed up like that? Oh, well, to help Nancy. Okay, but why are you dressed up like that? To help Nancy. You see, I can't explain it now, Mike, except that if they find out, see, that I'm a grown-up man, it can get Nancy in all kinds of trouble, see. We don't want that to happen. So you'll help me out, huh? Okay. Good. Do you collect rocks, too? No, not really. Then what are you doing with this? Oh, that ain't mine. I found this in your suitcase in your pants' pocket. Oh. It still ain't mine. Can I have it? Sure, be my guest. Thanks. I'll run a test on it. I'm going to be a geologist. Oh, that's swell. What do we do now? Let's go. Let's go. We better pick out a nice fancy suit for you. Oh, I don't need anything fancy. That's what you think. We got to get rid of that square outfit. Square outfit? Yeah, I guess it is a little square. (KNOCKING AT DOOR) Just a minute! Let's go. Let's go again. Mr. Hoolick, my name is Skeets Powell, and I've been sent to welcome you on behalf of the student body. Oh, well, thank you very much, but I'm not... We drew lots for you. I've got you from 1:00 till 3:00, and then Ann Brown has you from 3:00 to 3:30. Joan Francis gets you until 4:15, and then Natalie Lee has you until 5:00. Oh, looks like I'm booked solid. Yeah, well, look, I'll pick you up in 15 minutes, so don't be late. Bye! Bye! I got 15 minutes yet. Who was that? Skeets. Oh. (GIRLS CHATTERING) Good afternoon, Willy. Good afternoon, Aunt Nancy. It couldn't be. No. I hope our amusing little school isn't boring you too much. A school's a school. How clever! A school is a school. It just came to me. Gee, I'm awful glad you could stay, Wilbur. Oh, I am, too. Except I can only stay over the weekend. Oh. Would you like to sit down for a while? Okay. No, sit over here. No. Close your eyes. Real tight. (GASPS) Why do you want... Oh, you scared me. I was going to ask you why you wanted me to close my eyes. Well, Wilbur seems to know his way around a campus, doesn't he? I can't understand that. I could have sworn he was the shy, studious type. I'll say. Man, dig that crazy homework. I better have a little talk with him. I don't think he understands girls. Neither do I. I wish you'd have a little talk with me. I got to get out of here. Hey. Kiss me! Kiss me! Oh, no! Get away, you! Remember, girls, tomorrow we're having a test on the alloyed group. I want a list of all our enzyme experiments. Are there any questions? Class dismissed. Hi, dreamboat. I'm not talkin' to you. Skeets. (DOOR CLOSING) You want to see me, Aunt Nancy? Well, yes, Willy. I... I wanted to have a little talk with you. Uh-huh. (CLEARING THROAT) I'm rather worried about you, Willy. Did I do somethin' wrong? Oh, no, no. I don't think so. Oh, no, I'm sure not. Well, I... Uh, what I mean to say is, well, I don't think you know very much about girls, do you? I wouldn't want you to get into trouble. What kind of trouble? It's difficult to explain, but... Well, some people are born girls, and some people are born boys. I'm glad. It makes it so much nicer for dancing. Yes. What I'm trying to say, Willy, is that girls are usually more mature than boys. You have to be careful. Oh, you're talkin' about the birds and the bees. I'm talking about you kissing Skeets in the park. Well, can you explain that? Not in one afternoon. Well, now, it's... It's perfectly all right for little girls and little boys to kiss. I don't mean that, but there's a... Well, there is a certain way to do it. Oh, you mean little girls come with a set of instructions? No. No, what I mean is there are different kinds of kisses. There. Is that clear? No. Unless you mean little girls and little boys should kiss like this. Yes, yes, that's it. Is that what I was doing? No, I'm... I'm afraid it wasn't. You mean I was doing something like this. Yes. (STUTTERING) Yes. That looked like what you were doing. And I should have been doing this. Yes, that's it. Now I'm all confused. I forgot what I'm not supposed to do. Wilbur. Oh, yeah. I remember now. (STUTTERING) That's enough! Hello, Bob. Hello. Look, you stick to the little ones. The big ones are mine. Now, don't... don't be silly. I was just telling Willy here how to protect himself. I don't think Wilbur needs protection. You want to see the way little boys kiss? Well, that's nice, Wilbur. This comes a little later. Now cut that out! What's wrong with you? Oh, oh, nothing's wrong. I was just trying to show you what I shouldn't do. Well, that's right. That's what you shouldn't do. (BELL RINGING) No. Well, I... I must go. I hope you won't forget our little talk, Willy. No, I won't forget, Aunt Nancy. (DOOR CLOSING) Goodbye, Uncle Bob. Now, wait a minute. I want to have a little talk with you. Oh, oh, I can't. Natalie has me until 4:30. Natalie can wait. Why don't you straighten up? Oh, I am straightened up. It's just that my shoulders are stupid. That's funny, I got stupid shoulders. I have to go. Now, look. It's possible I could have had you all wrong. Had me all wrong? Maybe you are a nice, simple, warm-hearted kid after all. Yeah, and a loyal, trustworthy pal. That's right. Yeah. Cigar, pal? Oh, thanks, pal. (COUGHING) It's a cigar! It's a real cigar! What did you think it was, Wilbur? W-What did I think it was? Oh, I... I thought it was a candy cigar. My daddy always gave me candy cigars. Candy cigar? Yeah. Did it taste anything like this? Did it taste... I'll see. I'll wait. I... I'm not sure. Let's try again, Wilbur. I don't think it's the same. We must be positive. Pal. I feel awful. I got some medicine that'll fix you right up. How do like your Scotch? Plain or with soda? On the rocks. On the rocks? Oh, on the rocks is what my daddy always says when he orders that nasty whiskey. I can't make up my mind about you. Let me feel your muscle. Let me see your grip. Oh. I know that one. Jujitsu! Isn't that good? Mr. Miles? Yes. There are two gentlemen here to see you. They say it's very important. I'll be right with you. Don't go away. Don't go away. No. (DOOR CLOSING) (BELL RINGING) Wrong color. What, uh, can I do for you? Lieutenant O'Malley, Los Angeles Homicide Squad. Sergeant Brown. Hi, Sergeant. Can I help you? Yes, you can be very helpful. We trailed a killer down here. A killer? You know Wilbur Hoolick? Wilbur Hoolick, a killer? He's not a killer. Well, I didn't think so. He's just a kid. He isn't a kid, either. He isn't a kid? No. How old is he? I'd say about your age. My age? Sit down. But you don't understand... Sit down! I'm telling you all this in confidence. He's the only hope we have of catching the killer. The man we're after is after Hoolick. He's after Hoolick. When he strikes, we'll catch him. But we need someone to keep an eye on Wilbur every minute. Do you mind if I tell my girl about this? You're to tell no one. Wilbur's life is at stake. It's more at stake than you think. I knew we could count on you. We'll keep in touch with you. Good day. Good day. My age? Hello, Mr. Miles. Not now! (WILBUR WHISTLING) Wilbur? Oh, hello, Uncle Bob. Did you see those men? I saw them. Wilbur. What? When you were on the train, did you spend the whole night in Nancy's drawing room? Aunt Nancy's drawing room. Yes, I did. Where did you sleep. (NASALLY) in aunt Nancy's drawing room? In bed. Ha, ha. And she came downstairs and she tucked me in because I was nervous. You were nervous? Well, what are you so nervous about? You weren't even there! That's what I'm nervous about! Oh, oh. Excuse me. Sure. Drink hearty, Uncle Bob. Wilbur? Yeah. I like you. You do? I'm going to keep a close eye on you. Why? To keep you out of trouble. Here, you hold this? Yes. (GASPS) Did you hear that? What? Footsteps! Footsteps! Oh! Mrs. Brendan! Oh! Don't let her catch you with that whiskey! Get rid of it. Not there! No, not there! Get rid of it! Here, get rid of it! Don't let her catch you with it! Drink it, drink it! Good boy. Oh, it's you. Come in. Well, the sign says... Oh, come on in. What are you doing? A little spying. Spying, on who? On Gretchen. You see, Bob can't figure out why he hasn't been called back to active duty. Mr. Miles? Yeah. Bob? Yeah. He's in the Army? Well, sure. He's in the reserves. Gee, now, if they called him back to active duty, then Nancy and me... What? Oh, I was just wondering to myself. How come he wasn't called back? Well, read this. It's from Gretchen to Colonel Blair's wife. You shouldn't read other people's mail. That's not very nice. I'll read it to you. "Dear Karen, just a note to thank you for your cooperation" "in helping to keep Bob here." "I don't know what the school would do without him," "or for that matter, what I would do without him." "I will return the favor someday." "Gobs of love, Gretchen." Why, that dirty double-crosser. What did I tell you? I'd do anything to help Bob go overseas. So would I. Oh, I mean, I would like to help him out, too, 'cause he's a very nice fellow. I have an idea. Look, how would it be if you and I wrote another letter to Colonel Blair's wife, and in that letter... No, but we would change all the words our way. No. How would it... Oh, I know. We'll have Gretchen phone Colonel Blair's wife. Say, that's great. Oh, wait a minute. Gretchen would never do that. And I have a sneaking suspicion that's exactly what she's going to do. Here. Huh? Dormitory. Okay. Hello? WOMAN: The time, please. The time? The time is exactly 7:57. Thank you. You're welcome. Hello. Oh, it's you. I... I'm awful sorry, Skeets, that I didn't talk to you in the lab, but, you see, Aunt Nancy was watching. Oh, that's okay, Wilbur. Are you going to dance with me tomorrow night, Wilbur? Sure, I'd like that. You like to dance? Oh, gee, I... I'd rather dance than eat. Would you like to see a real good step? Oh, I'd love to, Wilbur. All right. Real gone, man. Oh, that was nothing. I could dance a lot better if I had music. Hey, wait a minute. I got a portable radio in my room! Yeah? Only it's against the rules for me to leave the switchboard. (SCATTING) I'll be right back. Crazy. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? WOMAN 1: Operator. Hello. Can I please have long distance? For long distance, dial 110. Oh, all right, thank you. WOMAN 2: Long Distance. Hello? Oh, hello, long distance. I would like to place a call, please, to Mrs. Karen Blair, that's Colonel Blair's wife, at March Field, California. One moment, please. Yes, thank you, I'll wait. Long distance? Are you still there? Are you ready for your call? Yes, I'm ready. KAREN: Hello? (MIMICKING GRETCHEN) Karen, darling. How divine to talk to you again. It's been a long time. Yes, it has been a long time, hasn't it? Much too long, you naughty girl, you. We must get together again real soon for a rousing game of mahjong. Oh, I'd just love to. Oh, by the way, Karen, my dear. I have an enormous favor to ask of you. My Bobby... Booby? No, not booby. Bobby. Talked to your husband about going overseas? Yes, I've been talking to him. Yes, I know. You've been a perfect angel about it, but I've changed my mind. You have? I think that Robert should go. Are you sure Bob wants to? All right, Gretchen, I'll tell my husband that Bob's changed his mind. Oh, thank you, Karen. You're such a darling! I'll tell him he should have his orders in the next 24 hours. Goodbye, Gretchen. (MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) You're real crazy, aren't you? GIRL: Oh, dear! (PEOPLE CHATTERING) What are you doing? I'm leavin'. I have to get out of here. Listen, if I leave my suitcase, will you send it to me? I guess so. You're just gonna sneak out of here without saying goodbye to anyone? Well, I have to. You say goodbye to Nancy for me, huh? What do you want me to tell her? Tell her, uh... Just tell her goodbye, huh? You! Help! Quiet or I'll kill you right here. (WHISPERING) Okay. Help, help, save me! (GRUNTING) Hey, there! (MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) (DOOR OPENING) (MUSIC STOPS) Nancy. Nancy? What are you doing here? I saw someone crawl through this window. You're mistaken. You mustn't let them find you here. Men aren't allowed in this building. I know, I didn't want anything to happen to you, but I saw a white thing crawl through here, and it looked like Wilbur. NANCY: Oh, that's ridiculous. Wilbur wouldn't do a thing like that. You're very fond of him, aren't you? Very. I wish he belonged to me. You could do with a little of Wilbur's manners, you know. I'm sure they must be very charming, but he certainly didn't have any trouble worming his way in. Well, no, he didn't. And he doesn't come climbing into people's rooms in the middle of the night, either. What was that? NANCY: I don't know. BOB: Let's go find out. (MEOWING) Oh, a cat. I don't have a cat. You don't have a cat? Well, how do you explain this? (STUTTERING) Well, uh, maybe the wind blew against it and knocked it over. Nancy, there's somebody in here. Are you accusing me of hiding a man in here? I'm not accusing you, Nancy. I trust you. I don't trust Wilbur. How can you pick on anyone as sweet and fine as Wilbur? I know him a lot better than you do, Bobby. Leave me. Wilbur is not what he seems to be. Oh, you found that out, too. The first night. First night? I know he seems kind of silly and awkward, but inside he has a fine and sensitive spirit. "A fine and sensitive spirit"? Wilbur? I don't want to talk about it anymore tonight. I've had a hard day. Why don't you go to bed? I will. I will as soon as I take my shower! (SHOWER STOPS RUNNING) Wilbur? Yeah. Oh. (EXCLAIMS) (DOOR OPENING) BOB: Nancy? Bob, what's the matter with you? If they catch you here, the two of us will be thrown out of school. You mean the three of us. I saw him come in here. You saw who come in here? Your boyfriend, Wilbur. (NANCY CHUCKLING) What's wrong with you, darling? Oh, save your "darlings" for Wilbur. I tell you, at this moment, Wilbur is in his room sound asleep. He's not here? He's not here. He's in his room sound asleep? He's in his room sound asleep. Okay, I'm gonna find out. You do that. Good evening. (MUMBLING) We're delighted that you both could come. We were happy to come. Would you excuse me, please? Certainly. Enjoy yourselves. I've been trying to see you all day. I locked my windows. And what's that supposed to mean? You can figure that out for yourself. (ALL APPLAUDING) Maybe Wilbur can help me. Bob, I don't know what's come over you lately. You've just got to stop picking on Wilbur! Bob, what are you waiting for? What? You're next, your song. Oh, my song. We'll continue this later. * Your eyes are simpatico * Tonight they have told me * That you'll be simpatico * To me alone * Your arms are simpatico * And when they enfold me * They hold me within a spell * No lover has known * When you do the things you do to me * Every thrill I knew is new to me * Go on and do the things you do to me * When you do what you do * You're so sympathetic * Which means you're simpatico * Which means I'm in heaven * And heaven will be our home * When you are mine * When you do the things you do to me * Every thrill I knew is new to me * Go on and do the things you do to me * When you do what you do * You're so sympathetic * Which means you're simpatico * Which means I'm in heaven * And heaven will be our home * When you are mine * Promise that you'll stay simpatico * Come what may, you'll stay simpatico * The way that I will stay simpatico * When you are mine (CLEARING THROAT) Hello, Aunt Nancy. Hello, Willy. Why aren't you inside dancing? Oh, I am dancing inside. I mean, inside I'm dancing. I know what you mean. That's very grown-up. Uh, can I ask you a question? That's ungrammatical, but tonight's a holiday. What is it? Well, do you believe in love at first sight? Willy, you've fallen in love with one of the girls here, haven't you? Uh-huh. Does she love you, too? Well, she's very fond of me, and she thinks I have a very fine and sensitive spirit. So do I. You tell her I said you'd make a fine husband when the time comes. I think the time's coming. Nancy, I think you're the most wonderful girl I ever met in my whole life, and I haven't slept a wink since I kissed you. Willy, little boys don't talk like that. Yes, I know, and I never could talk to girls. I mean, I usually get very tongue-tied when I'm around girls. But not when I'm around you. That's very sweet. I'm very grateful, but... Willy, I'm too old for you. My mom and dad got married when she was 17. Yes, that's different. That's old enough for a girl to get married. Yeah, but my dad was only 12. Well, if I was older, do you think that I would make a very good husband? If you were older, I think you'd make a wonderful husband. I'll be back when I'm 25. Will you wait? That's a long time to wait. It won't be as long as you think. Now don't move. I'll be right back. Nancy? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What are we fightin' about? I don't know. I guess I do. I'm jealous. Of Wilbur? He's only 14 years old. He is? Well, how old did you think he was? Oh, much older. I mean, he's very mature for 14. I thought he was at least 15. Oh, Bob, you're so silly. (CLEARING THROAT) Now let's see. "Nancy, I know I'm not very much," "but I am old enough." "And I couldn't love you any more if I were 100 years old." No, that's no good. "Nancy, honey, if you marry me," "I'll be the happiest, luckiest man in the whole world." BOB: Nancy, honey, if you marry me, I'll be the happiest, luckiest man in the whole world. NANCY: Of course I'll marry you. BOB: Nancy. It wouldn't have worked out anyway. I'm too tall for her. Lover boy! Hello, Mrs. Brendan. Hello, Wilbur. SKEETS: Lover boy! (PEOPLE VOCALIZING) (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) What are you doin' here? Oh, I'm just passing through. Keep passing. Yeah. (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) (ORCHESTRA TUNING) (CHOKING) Help! Now what do you want? I... I want to stay here. You can't stay here. Yeah, but you're stayin' here. I'm conducting. Oh, you mean, if you conduct, you can stay here? That's right, get out. All right, I want to conduct. You can't conduct. I want to conduct! No! Let Wilbur conduct. MAN 1: Let Wilbur conduct! MAN 2: Go ahead, Wilbur! Now by popular demand, we bring you the interstate choir conducted by Wilbur Hoolick! Good luck. Oh, don't go, Mr. Miles. Help me out with this number. What number is it? I Like to Hike. So do I, but what's the song? I Like to Hike is the name of the song, and do it with dignity. Dignity! Oh, yeah. I... I'll be dignity. (CLEARING THROAT) (MUMBLING) (ALL VOCALIZING) * Life is glorious. (SOFTLY) * Life is glorious. (ALOUD) * Grand and glorious. (SOFTLY) * Grand and glorious. And... * And when the shadow's long * We all sit around the campfire * Campfire (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) Was I too loud? No, that wasn't bad at all. Thank you. * The night birds gently call * And call and call and call * You cannot sleep * at all * It's time to hit the trail * It's time to hit the trail (VOCALS RISING AND DROPPING) * It's time to hit the lofty trail * It's time to hit the lofty trail (CHOIR VOCALIZING) * I never like to travel by automobile or bike * The only way to travel along is to travel along the way you like * And as for me, I like, I like to hike * He likes to hike He likes to hike * He hates to pedal a bike * It's time to climb the peak * It's time to climb the peak * The dawn breaks through the sky * Again you'll hear the cry * And then you hear * Again you hear * From the land you hear the cry. That was beautiful. Did you really think so? I loved it. Would you like to hear it again? Please. Will you wait here? * From the land you hear the * cry (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) * I've climbed a lot of mountain peaks * Including the peak of Pike * The peak of Pike was a heck of a hike * But I'll never, never, never rest until I conquer Everest * We'll never, ever, ever rest until we conquer Everest * We like to hike We like to hike * We like to hike We like to hike * We like to hike We like to hike * We like to hike We like to hike * We like to hike We like to hike * We like to hike We like to hike * We like to hike We like to hike * We like to hike We like to hike * We * like * to hike * We like to hike. Get out! Mrs. Brendan? Yes. You wanted to see me? Yes, I did. The, uh, girl said it was urgent, Mr... Uh, Hoolick. I'm Wilbur's father. Oh, how nice to meet you. Do sit down. Thank you. I hope our keeping Wilbur here didn't inconvenience you. A little, but it's going to be all right. When did you want to take him home? Uh, now. The sooner the better. Oh. I'll have him sent down here. SKEETS: Yes, Mrs. Brendan? Skeets, would you have Wilbur Hoolick sent to my office, please? Wilbur will be delighted to see you. He'll be surprised to see me. Gee! "Majuba diamond murderer. Police baffled." (MAN WHISTLING) Wilbur's the killer! Boy, these straight razors sure do the job, boy. You know somethin', Mike? I want to thank you. You've been very, very helpful to me, and believe me when I tell you, I ain't gonna forget you. You won't? No. (STUTTERING) Well, I mean, I'd just as soon you would. What do you mean, pal? We've been buddies, we're friends. What do you mean forget you? And the gang back home, they'll love you. But I'm too young to be with a gang. Yeah, maybe you're right, kid. Yeah, well, maybe we'll give you a few years. Wait, Willy. Wait just a minute! I won't tell on you. Please! Please, don't kill me! You don't want to die, huh? Well, don't worry about it, sonny. I'm gonna let you live. Oh, boy, thanks. Oh, boy, you're welcome, but on one condition. You gotta keep your mouth shut, you understand? Sure. You don't talk to nobody. You just keep your mouth shut. (AGREEING) Don't say a word to no one. You keep everything quiet. You don't say nothin'. Nothin'. Nothin'. You don't say nothin' to anybody. You keep your mouth shut and be sure you just do like I tell you. Then you won't get into any trouble. Shut up! (KNOCKING AT DOOR) Someone's at the door. Let's see who it is. Well, let's go. You get the door. Okay, sure. But be sure when you open the door, you don't say nothin'. Remember what I told you. Keep your mouth shut. Don't say nothin' to nobody. Just open the door, see who's there, and that's all. You don't talk to nobody. You understand? Just open the door, that's all I'm askin' you to do. Well, open the door! Okay. Hi, Wilbur, how are you? I'm in no mood to get engaged today. Do you feel all right, Wilbur? I'm fine. What's on your mind, baby? Well, Mrs. Brendan wanted to see you in her office right away. Why? She didn't say. I'll walk back with you if you want me to. Okay, but no swans. No swans. Get my coat! Sure, sure. Skeets! Yes? (WHISTLING) Nothin'. Wilbur's a very remarkable boy. In this day and age, it's so difficult to rear a child properly. Yes. I wouldn't give you 10-to-1 on a boy like Wilbur living to grow up. Oh, that's a little on the pessimistic side, Mr. Hoolick. All right, I'll make it 8-to-1. Oh, really. Here he is, Mrs. Brendan. Hello, Mrs. Brendan, did you want to... (STUTTERING) Surprised? Of course he is. I've had a hard time catching up with Wilbur. Now you have him back safe and sound. It was just a question of time. Shall we go, son? Now? You wouldn't want to worry Mama. No, I wouldn't. Take good care of him. Oh, he'll be taken care of. I don't want to go. Why, Wilbur? Yes, tell her why. Well, because, you see, I'm not really a little... I like it here. I want to go to school here. This is a girls' school. That's why I like it here. Now, Wilbur, you mustn't hurt your father's feelings. You wouldn't do that, would you, Wilbur? No. You know how sensitive I am. He's very sensitive. You're choking him, Mr. Hoolick. Oh. (COUGHS) Come along, son. You don't have much time. It's been nice meeting you, Mr. Hoolick. It's been very nice meeting you, Mrs. Brendan. Goodbye, Wilbur. Don't say that, Mrs. Brendan! All right, you. Where is it? Why did you tell Mrs. Brendan you're my father? Where is it? Where's what? Look, when I get through working you over, you'll tell me where it is. Or do you want to talk now? All right, I'll talk. Well, talk! How's Mama? (GRUNTING) This way. I don't know what you're mad at me for! I didn't do anything to you, and I didn't do anything to your wife! No one ever double-crossed me. No one living. What do you want from me? I know you have that diamond. I put it in your pocket myself. There's nothing in my... Is this what you want? All right, here. I don't want it. Are we friends now? BOB: Wilbur! Huh? Stop him, he's a crook! Hey! Hey, man! Man! Man! Man, wait! Mister, will you wait? They want... Mister... You... Mister man! BOB: Stop him, Wilbur! He killed a man! He killed a man? He won't get away! I... I got him! Ooh! Oh! Oh, water! Wait! I don't know how to do this! I can't swim! Oh! Oh! Oh, oh! Hold on, Wilbur! Hold on! Look out! Look out! Coming through! MAN: What's going on? (SCREAMING) Oh, falling! Falling! Oh, man! (EXCLAIMING) Easy! Ooh! (GROANING) Mommy! (EXCLAIMING) Wait! Wait! Watch your head, Wilbur! What? (GROANS) (GRUNTING) Whoa! Ooh! Help! Help me! Bye! Help! - Hello, Aliki. - How are you, Dimitris? - You're wanted on the phone, sir. - Coming. Excuse me. You can go on with your chat. I have some more calls to make before lunch. Your poor father does his best to leave us two alone. Shouldn't we make him happy, Aliki? We could make him so happy, living with him in this house. - Why insist Dimitris? - Because I love you, Aliki. I've always loved you, ever since you were a little girl. And because I always believed the day of marrying you would arrive. I love you, too, Dimitris. But as an old childhood friend. Shall I prove it? There... You see? I can even kiss you. Like kissing an older brother, if I had one. An older brother or a childhood friend who solved your math problems when you were at school. Remember? I'm not a schoolgirl anymore, Dimitris! Still you have a major problem to solve. I could help you with it even right now. No problem is troubling me. No, Aliki, it's obvious in your face. In this melancholy cute face I've been studying for three months now no matter how hard you try not to reveal your secret. - You're still in love with the artist. - No more of that talk, Dimitris! Let me finish... You still love him. You're worried that you lack the strength not to run back to him. That's why you have to make a bold step, to react and secure yourself. Marry me, Aliki. So there are men who can settle for a thing like that? It's the worst kind of love. The desperate kind, Aliki. I could accept anything so as to have you. After that, you'll be my wife. I know my wife will be honest in her decision for a new life. A whole new life, ahead of us. Let me think about it, Dimitris. On one condition, though. We'll never talk about the part of my life I spent with someone else. This is something not belonging to you. Aliki and Dimitris got married and the newlyweds left immediately for their honeymoon the schedule of which was combined with Dimitris' business transactions. For ten days in Paris, Aliki bought dresses hats and loads of other pretty things. For ten days in London, she picked up some gorgeous furs. And the last ten days in Rome, Dimitris, after finishing business, bought her a most elegant and most expensive bracelet. So honeymoon came to an end, and Aliki returned to Athens sadder than she was before leaving. She inadvertently remembered another happier honeymoon she spent with Pavlos in a humble neighbourhood tavern. Where would you like to go tonight, my love? - Do you know what I feel nostalgic for? - What? Something nowhere to be found around Europe. A small Athenian tavern. Shall we dine at a Plaka tavern tonight? That's a splendid idea, Aliki! I'm so glad you show initiative for a change. To Plaka, Yannis! What's more, I know a very nice, detached little tavern I'm sure you'll enjoy. - Welcome! Any preference? - This table... It's a nice little tavern! You were right, Aliki. - What will you serve us? - Old Yiannis will take your order. I hope the cuisine is good, too. - Oh, Dimitris! - What is it, dear? My bracelet! I must have dropped it in the car. Your bracelet? - Will you, please, have a look? - Right away. - Good evening, dear Aliki! - How are you, old Yannis? Thank God, I'm all right. You? So am I. How's Pavlos? A good question! He's been very sad ever since your breakup. At first he used to come here every night and sit alone and miserable at this very table. Every night! Getting drunk... Don't you see him anymore? - What's his life like nowadays? - He lives in poverty. I pleaded he painted more moons on my walls to no avail... Let it go! He has this fixation with painting in the penthouse. - Day and night! - So, he works? Yes but what's the point? Who buys paintings these days? - Perhaps someone now at the exhibition. - What exhibition? He is exhibiting his work at a gallery for a week now. It's in the papers, didn't you know? No, I didn't. I'll go buy a framed picture for the tavern to aid the poor guy, cause... he's in dire straits! I can tell you that he's starving. No other way of helping him, proud as he is, you know him, Aliki. Yes, I know. I looked thoroughly, Aliki. No bracelet. I'm sorry. Now I remember I wasn't wearing it tonight. - What will you have? - Two glasses of wine to start with. Yes, sir. - A cigarette please, Dimitris? - With pleasure. What's bothering you, Aliki? Nothing, nothing... We had an agreement before our marriage, Aliki. I was never to talk to you about something not belonging to me. - Tonight we'll make an exception. - What do you mean, Dimitris? Looks like the painter is having considerable success... There's a rave review in the paper about his first exhibition, going on for a week now. Yes, I know... Yes, I read it myself accidentally I can't see the connection with our agreement. Besides the review, the paper has a photo of a portrait titled 'I love you.' A portrait with your face in it. I'm not sure if the artist has the right of exposing you. - Jealous, as always, Dimitris. - Terribly. And I think as a husband I am entitled to demand that he withdraws the portrait from the exhibition. That would be thoughtless. If it bothers you so much, you can withdraw it by other means. Buy it! You're right. Simpler that way. We'll go to the exhibition tomorrow. Together! I'd look totally ridiculous alone. As you wish. There it is. Not as good as the model, for sure. You're much more beautiful, Aliki. No 27. 'I love you! ' That's strange. It's the only one without a price. There must be someone here to ask about the price. It's not for sale, sir! Perhaps the model was sold once, but this one, no. This is absolutely mine. - So, that was the painter? - Yes, that was him. Let's go, Dimitris! Now, you shouldn't imagine that after this incident any novel-like tragic incident occurred. Life has even more tragic finales. Time crushes everything. The years went by fast. It is, alas, inevitable. Aliki submitted to the conventional life most rich married couples share. where wealth is gradually taken for granted finally becoming an indifferent thing. She also became a good mother giving birth to a son looking exactly like his father. So people considered her marriage as happy like with all logical marriages not based on passionate love. Passionate love remained in her heart... No calendar ever managed to erase it. She never again met Pavlos who developed into an acclaimed and famous artist... Pavlos became what he always wanted to be. A true artist, a 'bohemian.' Free from any engagement that would force him to make compromises in his life and art. Aliki always followed his steps from afar reading with pride and secret joy about him in the papers which mentioned his name again and again. Would Pavlos have remained a true artist had he taken over a family burden on his shoulders? Or would his talent have been buried in some graphic design studio sketching commercial ads? Pavlos remained a true artist, a bohemian, who never cared about being broke, and being broke was his permanent condition. since great artists' works become priceless usually only after their death... Such was the case when he remembered his forgotten gold sovereign in the pot, the sovereign that had united him and Aliki once upon a New Year's Day... How many memories it brought back! And the sovereign? The sovereign was still there. No use keeping it any more, though. Hello! Can you please change this sovereign for me? - It's counterfeit, unfortunately. - Counterfeit? All right then... Counterfeit? He couldn't help it. He would be just penniless for yet another day... He couldn't care less as long as he could enjoy the autumn sunshine... and head to Zappeion Park to browse around a new painting exhibition... Pavlos! Aliki! How are you, Pavlos? Long time, no see. Yes, it's been too long. We never happened to meet. Is it too late for me now, 7 years later, to apologize for what I said to you in that gallery? Your first exhibition. I feel terribly guilty for the things I said. Well... when I saw you with.... He was my husband. Yes, I know. You must have hated me that day. I didn't hate you, Pavlos. How could I? I didn't hold a grudge against you either. I could never hold a grudge against you. - How's life? Are you happy? - I am. Happy that you became a famous artist. What you always wanted... and what you truly deserved to be. Yet, I often wondered if this is worth of being alone in life. 'Artists should never get married,' eh? Remember? I always do. Everything was so beautiful then, the penthouse... the hole in the blanket! The pot with our one and only sovereign! I broke the pot and the sovereign was counterfeit. Counterfeit? The sovereign we swore on our love never to spend was... counterfeit! But our love was real, Pavlos. And my portrait? what became of my portrait? It's the only thing I have from you, Aliki. I never sold this portrait. It's always been in the penthouse, over my bed. When I feel lonely... disheartened... I talk to that portrait as if it was alive and listening. I tell her... my dreams, my worries, my bitter sorrows... Whatever I say... she'll always answer... I love you! I love you, too! We lost track of time, Pavlos. I'm late. My husband and child are expecting me. I'm sorry. Nobody is expecting me. - Goodbye, Pavlos. - Goodbye, Aliki. That was 'I love you! ' all about. It didn't end and it never will... A great love starting with a counterfeit sovereign useless any more... False, however, is not only the counterfeit sovereign in the story. False as a whole is money. Translation: never4ever PSiF for KG (barking orders) Look at me-- guard duty again tonight down at the main gate. Who's going to steal the main gate? KADOWSKI: Hey, boys, get this. -What is it? -This is serious. "Permission granted for ten days leave of absence to Master Sergeant Ernest Bilko." Bilko going on a furlough? He's broke. Here we go again. Gentlemen, I wish to announce the beginning of National Hide Your Money Week. Remember the last time Bilko went on furlough? He squeezed every nickel out of this platoon, remember? No, no, no, I tell you, no. I can't spare another truck, and that's final. How am I going to get my platoon back to the barracks from the rifle range? The Army has a new mode of transportation. Did you hear about it? Feet. -Wise guy. -Oh, on the double. Hey, what's the-- here. Formation, on the double, hee-yah, line up. Ever-Everybody, look alive! Excuse me, gentlemen, I'll only take a minute of your time. I wish to discuss the motor pool and the work... (chuckling): Work. Now, look, men, I don't ask you to kill yourself, but every once in a while, move a little. In case an officer walks by, he won't mistake it for a painting. And Zimmerman... didn't get those brake drums on the half-trucks yet, did you? -Well, you know, Sarge... -Oh, I know. You've been too busy washing officers' private cars at a buck a throw, right? -Well, Sarge... -Get into those fatigues, down to the motor pool, get those brake drums, and out of here! There's been a lot of goofing off going around here. This has got to stop! Day sheet in yet? HENSHAW: Yo. Paparelli, you draw guard duty tonight. I know. What's this? "Permission-- ten days leave granted to..." Oh, when it comes to asking for a furlough, they're right on the ball. Let's see which meathead this is. "Ten days leave granted to Sergeant Ernest Bilko." I got it! -I got it! -Hey, ten days! Wait, I can be out of here tomorrow morning, in Chicago, and outside of her dressing... Hey, come on, fellas, I'm a little, you know... -Sarge, I'm tapped out. -Me, too. What a time. Men, freeze. Freeze, you heroes. Men, I may have seemed a little harsh with you. It's only because I was mad at myself for forgetting to tell you the new thing I thought up for you. It's only a buck a throw-- my new snack-in-the-sack raffle. Snack-in-the-sack raffle? What's that? Just what it says. The guy who wins gets his breakfast served in bed for ten days. How about it, boys? -But Sarge, we're broke. -Busted, not a dime. It's a miracle how this platoon is always broke at the same... Zimmerman, on the double, right here. Yeah, but Sarge, you told me... Right here. Now, Herman, you're not going to take me serious all the time, are you? I want this. I want these deadheads to look at a real live wire. This boy's not broke all the time. Why? 'Cause he's on the hustle, he thinks up things, washes officers' cars at a buck a throw. He's all right. (chuckles) How much did you make, Herman? Not a dime. Honest, Sarge, they all owe me. Listen, right next to Zimmerman's name, put "KEOZ." I'll know what it means-- "Keep Eye On Zimmerman." All right, dismissed. Hey, Sarge, I got a couple letters for you. Oh, those finance companies must have radar. What's this? Oh, this is a joker. This is addressed to the house I used to live in way before the war, when I was still a civilian. Hey, Sarge, maybe you've been drafted, huh? It's a little late for that, don't you think? Oh, no. Ten years. What is it, Ernie? It's just not possible. Ten years. Hey, Ernie, come on back to us Earth people. The squad I led in WWII-- way before I even met you guys-- they're having a reunion. A reunion? Yeah, I forgot all about it. You see, we were pinned down on a beach in the Marianas, and we swore if we ever got out of it alive, we were going to meet ten years from that day for the biggest, fanciest banquet at the Waldorf-Astoria. The Waldorf-Astoria? Man, what a crazy barrack. (laughter) Oh, what a bunch of deadbeats they were. Wait a second, wait, hold this. I got a picture of 'em in here someplace. Get a load of that. That's me holding the flag. BARBELLA: Let's see. Ernie, hair? Hey, Hensh, look at all that hair-- a regular mop. (laughter) Wasn't I a thing of beauty? Squad Leader Private First Class Ernest Bilko. A PFC, huh? Hey, wait till they see you with all them stripes. Master Sergeant Bilko. Oh, boy, they'll really flip. Who ever thought I'd wind up with more stripes than hair? (all laugh) Oh, what a bunch of characters. Look, this guy right here. Oh... look at the end... the end... Meathead. He used to be a truck driver before the war. To get him to move, I had to honk a horn. This is a beauty right here. Goof-off Gunther was his name. He was a busboy before the war. Used to open K ration boxes looking for tips... This is a real beauty, a hillbilly-- Zeke "Ozark" Rutlege-- the only man in the Army wore suspenders. Oh, they were beautiful. How did those meatballs ever get along in civilian life without you to watch over 'em, Sarge? Oh, I shudder to think about it. Ah, those poor jerks-- probably going in hock to get to that reunion in New York. Hey, Ernie, the reunion's tomorrow night. You'd better start packing. -Packing... -Got an idea. You can hitch a ride down at the air base in one of them B-29s on the way to Mitchell Field in New York. Forget about it. Those reunions are for the birds. -But Sarge, you got to go. -What, what, b-but Sarge, but what, what? I'm a master sergeant, and I got to go like a master sergeant. That means a suite at the Waldorf, maybe pick up the tab for those meatballs. Where am I going to get the money-- sell a tank? Hey, Bilko, I got another breakdown. Another breakdown? You can't move without me. Look, if you can't get me a truck that works, get me a mule. I'll do better than that; I'll put a harness on you. Get out of here. He don't want to go to that reunion, does he? Not much, he don't. Man, wouldn't he like to walk in on them guys flashing them six stripes of his, huh? With that room at the Waldorf, huh? Show he's still the top guy in the outfit, huh? What a night that would be. Listen, Hensh, I got an idea. There's money in this platoon, only it went underground. We're going to dig it up. Give me that picture. Look, you go tell the other top kicks in the outfit what we need. -On the double. -Yo. All right, boys, I want to talk to you right here, on the double, let's go, everyone... Look at that picture again. Look at all that hair. And every hair that's gone is from worrying about you guys, this whole platoon. Every single hair gone, one by one, from worrying-- worrying about getting you passes, worrying about protecting your rights. And now, for the first time in ten years, when he's got a chance to prove to his old buddies that he's a success, a master sergeant, he can't go to that reunion. Why? Because his own platoon is too cheap to raise a few meas... Corporal Henshaw, do not beg them. Let them search their own soul. Just remember him with this head of hair, gone from worrying. 'Cause he's the kind of a sergeant that worries about his men day and night. All we're asking is a measly few bucks. -Now, look, come on now. -Come on... -You got a couple of bucks. -I tell you no! I can't spare another truck! But I need another truck. This is an emergency. Call the Automobile Club. Very funny. The garbage is piling up behind my kitchens. What am I going to do? Learn to cook; you won't have so much garbage. Why don't you turn blue? Oh, knock it off. Hey... Well, this is a gay little sorority meeting. Mother Bilko's little chickens got nothing to do? Hey, Sowici, hold it. You may have some extra guys for KP any minute now. Now, listen, you meatheads... Ernie, Ernie, I was just giving 'em tomorrow's work detail. Work detail? Corporal Barbella, you're a dreamer. Now, look, you guys, you got to get on the ball. You understand? I want guys that want to soldier. You soldier for me, I'll interfere with the old man for you. I-I... What is that? I cannot... You making faces behind me? What are you doing? Now, look, if you guy... You know, Sergeant, some of the officers paid me for washing their car, and I figured if you're still running the snack-in-the-sack raffle, can I have a couple of shots at it? -(overlapping chatter) -Me, too. Yeah, me, too, Sarge. Two tickets for the next dance. -Put me down for the motor pool. -Two tickets. All right, is this the suite? Yes, sir, the adjoining room is right through there. Is that all the flowers they got up here? -Oh, I'll get some more, sir. -Oh, never mind, we'll rough it. Hello, get me the main desk. All right, get that champagne spread out, get those cigars laid out... Hello, main desk. Uh, look, there may be some poor souls wandering around the lobby looking for Squad "B" reunion-- "B," "B" like in "Bilko," yeah. -Send 'em up to suite, uh... -BELLHOP: 32C. 32C on the double, look alive, hey... all right, good-bye! -You got the champagne out there? -Yes, sir. -You got the cigars? -Yes, sir. Now, you boys have done a darn good job. Uh, uh... what's your number again? -Uh, 43, sir. -43. -Your number? -27, sir. 27. You take care of me, I'm gonna take care of you. You boys may be used to deadbeats but not in this corner. You're in good shape, I'm taking good ca... On the double, walk, hup, hup! Here we go, hup, hup! All right, now, look. BELLHOP: Big doings tonight, eh, sir? We're going to have a big-time reunion-- my old squad coming. -Yes... -These poor souls never lived before, like I'm going to show 'em. -Look, uh... -Yes, sir. No reason why I can't shack 'em up here. No use in them getting a room. What the management don't know won't hurt 'em, you know? -Get that stuff out of the bag, will you, kid? -Yes, sir. I tell you what I have to have done. A lot of things have to be done real quick. You're doing a good job, kid. -You got change of 20? -Oh, yes, sir. What's your number again? -82. -82. I put your number ahead of the other guys. -Thank you, sir. -I like the way you work. All right, let me look at that robe a minute, will you? Get this polished while you're down there, too. This may be a little gaudy for the Waldorf, but in certain sections of Manila, may I tell you...? Hey, look, kid, uh, where's the latri-- uh, the shower? Right over there, sir. Be a little indecent, showering alone. You're all right. -Did I get your number? -82. Yeah, all right. Oh, I want this suit pressed. I want those creases you can cut butter with. I'll do it right away. Wait, hold it, this is the important... See these stripes? When you steam it, don't get 'em up. You know what I mean? -Keep 'em nice and shiny. -I certainly w... Six stripes? Well, you're a master sergeant. How do you know? Were you in the service? Oh, yes, sir, I was a lieutenant. All right, get that stuff ready. Will you, sir? Right, Sergeant. Air Force. Uh... I wonder if a bubble bath would be overdoing it. Well... (buzzer sounding) Coming, coming. Oh, you're the valet. -Look, here's what I want to... -Valet? Ernie. -You're, uh... -Morgan. Meathead! Hey! How are you? ! Son of a gun! Hey, you want to see the rest of the gang? -Are they here? -Right down the hall. -Hey, gang, here he is. -Bissel! (overlapping chatter) -Ernie. -You're, uh... Gunther, Joe Gunther. Goof-off! (overlapping chatter) -Come on in. -(overlapping chatter) What do you think of your old squad, huh? I hate to admit it-- you look almost human. (laughter) Pass the glasses around. Listen, you want some cigars? -Anything you want. -(overlapping chatter) Here you are, pappy. Say, pretty classy, pretty classy here. -Yeah. -Oh, I was going to get a whole floor, but some maharaja beat me to it. (laughs) TUBBY: Doing all right for a PFC, boy. PFC? Look alive, Tubby. That was ten years ago. A lot of things must happen, you know, in ten years. (laughter and overlapping chatter) Hey, hey, if you're not used to it, that's champagne. Take it easy. Yes, I'll, uh, I'll have to go easy. I've got a big day at the office tomorrow. Office? Working at an office, huh? Good boy. Gave up driving a truck, huh? Sure, he's got his own company-- Morgan Truck Lines. Morgan Truck Lines? Mm-hmm. That big transcontinental outfit? Yeah, ha-ha, that's me. -Good boy, Meathead. -Ah, if I could do it, you must be worth a million. -Yeah. -What are you doing? Have a little more champagne. That's a boy. You worked pretty hard waiting on tables all day. I'm taking care of you here. How do you like him? He still remembers me when I was a busboy. Yeah... he-he-he's way up there now, Bilk. Oh, really, made waiter, huh? Good boy. Lean back, take it easy. I'm gonna take good care of you, pappy. That's all he does all day-- sit back, counting the receipts of his 200 restaurants. -Yeah, yeah. -200 restaurants? Yeah, G G Sandwich Shops. -That's right. -G G? -Yeah. -That's his? -(laughing): Yeah. I eat there all the time. That is, when I'm not too busy eating at Toots Shor's or Stork Club. (all laughing) Hey, listen, you poor souls, no use renting a room. You three guys can stay with me here, all right? Well, thanks, Bilko. My company keeps a suite here all year round, in case of emergency. Keeps a suite here? Pretty big outfit, huh? TUBBY: Yeah, it's his outfit-- Rutlege Cotton Mills. -Cotton mills? -Yeah. Well, hey, Tubb, you can shack up with me here. You don't have to rent a room. Well, I got my own apartment right around the corner on Park Avenue. -Park Avenue? -Yeah. Where else would a Park Avenue doctor live? -Doctor? -Yeah. Why, this poor soul couldn't open a can of rations without cutting his finger. Doctor, huh? Good boy. What are you doing, Bissel? Insurance. Door-to-door? No, he's chairman of the board. Chairman? It figures. Say, you guys are doing all right. (all chattering at once) MORGAN: Now, Bilk, we have to... You know, Bilk, it takes a lot of angling and finagling to make a success of yourself in the world today. Of course, we spent three years training under you-- the master. Master? How'd you find out I was a master? Master finagler! -Oh, right. -(laughter) Drink up, boys. Ernie, uh, what have you been doing since you got out of the Army? I'm with some outfit. Come on, drink up. Oh, come on, come on, now, Ernie. -What are you doing? -Well, it's a big outfit-- big. If I mention the name, you'd know it right away. MORGAN: What outfit? What difference does it make? I'm doing all right. Believe me. Secret, huh? Well, in a way, it has to be, yeah. TUBBY: I got it-- government work. You could call it that. Yeah. You got a contract with the government. For four years. -Four years? -Whoa. I got a six months' contract. Then comes cancellations and changes in specifications. -How do you do it? -Very simple. When the four years is up, I simply reen... uh, renegotiate. -They're only too glad to do business with me. -(buzzing) BISSEL: I'll get it. -Your uniform, Sergeant. -Take it back. It's a sloppy job. Do it over again. Sloppy? Look at the way those stripes shine. Well, press them some more. -You're all right, kid. -Thank you. -What was your number again? -82. -I'm writing it down real big. -Thank you. -Come on, fellas. Let's get moving. -Hey, hold it. -Where are you guys going? -We're going to change. -Change for what? -Get dressed for dinner. Oh, yeah, yeah. What are we going to wear, -tux or full dress? -Just tuxedo. Doesn't matter. I brought both. -(laughter) -Both? Boys, we're traveling in fast company again. -Yeah, too fast for a hillbilly like me. -See you later. I'm going to have to rent a tuxedo. Rent a tuxedo! Oh, there's got to be a peasant in every outfit. He's never changed, has he? Good old... "Rent a tuxedo." That's laughable, isn't it? (chuckles) Take care. I'll see you later. (chuckling): "Rent a tuxedo." Who do I call about renting a tuxedo? (phone ringing) Hello. Sergeant... uh, Mr. Bilko's room. Long distance where? Roseville, Kansas? Fort Baxter? Tell them I'm not, uh... All right, put them on. Hey, Sarge, we just called to see how you're doing. Hey, did you see your old squad yet? Hey, what did they say when they seen you with all them stripes? A master sergeant, huh? They really flipped, huh? Hey, wait a minute. Henshaw wants to say hello. Hey, I was next! By rank, Doberman. By rank. Hey, Sarge. Having a ball, huh? Did those meatballs ever figure on you coming in with six stripes? (laughs) Knocked them over, huh? I went over big, yeah. I had the suit pressed and everything, all real sharp. Yeah. Big, big. Hello, Sarge, Rocco again. Listen, the motor pool is in great shape, so just relax and have a ball. Hey, Sarge, they really flipped, huh? Look, this is costing you guys a fortune. You better hang up. I'll be seeing you soon. Take care of yourself. Give my best to the gang. So long, Rocco. (melodramatic music plays over radio) -WOMAN (over radio): John. -JOHN: Please, Mary. MARY: You lied to me. You told me you were a banker, and now I find out you're a plumber. -Mary! -No, John. I cannot marry an impostor. (turns radio off) (fanfare playing over TV) ANNOUNCER: CBS Television presents You Are There. Tonight, we bring you one of the dark pages of American history: the story of Benedict Arnold. This once-respected American soldier who disgraced his uniform lived to regret it. (turns TV off) # # Look, fellas, I... I'm just wearing it. -(laughter) -You remember when he tried to teach the natives how to play gin rummy? He wound up with all the coconuts on that island. -(laughter) -Where is Bilko? Almost time for chow. "Chow"-- get him. Yeah, how do you like that? -How G.I. can you get? -Are you still in? Hey, fellas. Hey, hey, hey, look. (laughter dies down) Hey, he's for real! Oh, you son of a gun! (laughter, indistinct chatter) I'll bet I'd still be a private if I was in there. Bilko in the Army- - I'm going to sell my defense bonds. (laughter) Bilko, are any of your men as dumb as we were? -That would be impossible. -(laughter) Well, what are we standing around for? I've been waiting for ten years for this. Let's eat. -All right. -I want to get some of that Waldorf pressed duck. -I hear it's real... -Pressed duck? -Yeah. -Excuse me. -Ooh. They press it by hand with pleats. -(laughter) -Come on. Let's eat. Okay, waiter, dessert! (laughter, indistinct protesting) What's the matter with you guys? What, are you folding already? Is this the squad I led that took Hill 405? 405? That was to the right of us. -We took Hill 406. -That wasn't 406. That was a Japanese pillbox on the right of us. Ah, you're all wrong. Please, please, it was Hill 405. -I'll show you how... -406! You're nuts. Now, wait a second. -Move the battlefield back. -Okay. Let's clear the whole table. Very simple-- if you'll just pay attention, I'll revive the whole thing right. Now, watch-- here. That was the beach, right? -ALL: Right. -Okay. This was Hill 405 right here. I'll tell you why. Zeke... All right, this was zero hour. This is the way it went. Everybody in posi... Gunther, in position? -Right, sir. -All right. What are you doing there? You're with the artillery. -Get over there, Tubby! -All right, all right. Morgan, get behind the foxhole. Zeke, you got the bazookas ready? -All set, all set. -Now... wait a minute. Then there came that air... air raid! -Air raid! -Get in position. (mimicking machine gun sounds) You got him! All right. All right. Set your watches. Synchronize. Take cover. Squad charge! (all yelling) # For it's hi! hi! hee! # # In the field artillery # # Sing out the numbers loud and strong # # Two, three, four! # # Five, six, seven, eight. # (laughter) Oh, Ernie, I ain't never going to let you go again. Sure, sure, sure. I'm going to take you into my business. In one year, it'll belong to me, pal. (laughter) Come on, you dogfaces, let's hear it. # Hi! hi! hee! # # In the field artillery... # (buzzer sounding) Roll call. Doberman, Anderson, Dober... (buzzer sounds repeatedly) All right, all right, all right. Good morning, sir. Take it easy, will you? Just plug them in there. -Good morning, Ernie. -What is this? Come on, Ernie. We've got work to do. What are you doing, taking bets? Transfer all of Mr. Morgan's calls up here... I hope you don't think I was kidding last night. -You're working for me. -Oh, come on, come on, you were -high last night. -Oh, not that high. I didn't get where I am today by being high and making gaiety. I find that you're one of the top motor pool sergeants in the whole Army, and if you can unsnarl one-tenth of the jams that we get into, you're worth twice the $10,000 a year that I'm giving you. $10,000 a year? Fine. Do that. BILKO: What are you talking about? Ed Houlihan in Cleveland. -Oh, Houlihan again. Yeah. -(Houlihan speaks indistinctly) All right, now, look, Houlihan, get this straight. I don't want 22 trailer trucks laying dead all over the road. What? You're waiting for some chain drive parts -to get down from Seattle? -Let me tell him. Let... -What? -Just a minute. What are you talking about? Hold on, hold on, just a minute. You in Cleveland? -That's right. -What kind of chains you using? 90-X ten-ton stress chains? -That's right. -Well, get on the ball. The Army gets their chains from a little firm right outside of Cleveland- - Parma. -Parma? -Little town... yes. Name of the firm is Morton Stamp Company. Get on the ball. What are you holding up those...? -Look alive out there! Get moving! -See what I mean, Ernie? You see what I mean? I need you. This is too much for Parker and me. -Wait a minute. -We can't do it. -It's too much. -I'm in the Army! I'm in the Army! You're in the Army. I'll take care of that. You've got a hitch that's up any minute. -Hello? What? -(man shouts over phone) Oh, my...! A jam in Los Angeles. -Let me... -No hydraulic fluid -for the platform lifts. -This is ridiculous. You guys are making me laugh. You call yourself truck operators. -What's your dram, hydraulic fluid? -Yeah. -Yeah, what are you driving, diesels? -That's right. Well, you simply drain the lube fluid out of the hitch gearbox, transfer it to the hydraulic lifts. Look alive! Stop jamming up the works out here! -Get going! -(phone ringing) -BILKO: $10,000 a year? -Oh, $10,000. That's nothing. That's just the beginning. You're worth a fortune to me. -Hello, hello! -I'm calling about the Dawson figures. -What? ! -Dawson figures-- I have to have 'em right away. I got to get downstairs and sign some papers. -(overlapping chatter, phones ringing) -Go to it! The Dawson figures. What about the Dawson figures? -(phone ringing) -All right. Dawson figures, what Dawson figures you talking about? Oh, right here. You're carrying 12,856... Peoria? What kind of a load you carrying? Kumquats? ! You better get moving! -(phone ringing) -Yes! Get those things to...! (yelling indistinctly) MAN (over phone): What about the reloads? BILKO: The reloads are 900 and 400. That's it-- 900 and 400, 1,300. -(over phone): Right. -All right, look alive out there. Give me one of those phones. What are you guys...? The dispatcher from where? -Right there. -Toledo? I'm rerouting your run. I got the Cleveland guys all fixed up. They got their chains fixed. They'll be on your route. You're a caravan of 23 trucks. Get moving, look alive. -I've got to get a hold of Mr. Morgan. -All right, all right, all right, all right! -Hello, what are you? -(over phone): Where's Gomez? -Where's who? -Gomez. Gomez who? What area? -Gomez. -San Diego-- just a minute. I don't know where Gomez is. Call the hospital. Hello. -This is Gomez. -Gomez, they're looking all over for you. -Get... -(phones ringing) -Well, my wife's having a baby. -We had to go to the hospital. -Your wife's having a baby? -Listen, Gomez. -Yeah. -(phone ringing) -Take a vacation. Hello. Listen, the Toledo run is moving. I got the wrong... Wait a second, hold on a minute. Watch out for those Dawson figures! Just hold it a minute. (overlapping chatter over phones) What am I doing? Here, here, wait a minute, here. Listen, you jerks, talk to each other. (overlapping chatter over phones) (all yelling) BARBELLA: Attention! All right, now let's straighten this out. Zimmerman, you and Paparelli got guard duty. You're nuts. Bilko never put two on, two off. (all yelling) (clamoring) Men, it's good to be back again. Now, uh, what's the trouble? (all yelling) ANNOUNCER: Morgan was played by Horace McMahon. I WALK IN THE SUN Let's go in. Silent sculptures are looking at us. They can only speak through their shape. And what we can read from their language, we'll be forever our property. This works of art must have been made by an artist working in turbulent 20th century. He expressed the tragedy and dignity of a man of our times. His name is Xawery Dunikowski. Sculptor, painter, educator, builder of the People's Republic of Poland. During 60 years of his career, hands of the artist knew no rest searching forms for ideas that were always original and full of humanism. In 1955 we were celebrating his 80th birthday and 60 years of creative work. So much work, so many battles with recalcitrant matter. So many works of art. Let's go between the sculptures. They'll show us the way that the artist have had traveled. MATERNITY BREATH FATE HEAD WITH THE ARM Artist's imagination, full of faces, seeks the release. Series of portraits is being made: "Wawel's heads". It's a tribute to great traditions of Polish renaissance. Tribute from a modern artist. Years passed by bringing new works of art. "Four Evangelists" Writing down events and thoughts patiently and laboriously like folk chroniclers. Artist's imagination is inexhaustible. Dunikowski keeps searching for new ideas. Some of them are surprising. "I walk in the sun" - it's the name of the self-portrait of the one whose hands arouse human life and feelings from the stones. PREGNANT WOMEN CARTHAGINIAN WOMEN There aren't many sculptors who are as skilled in making monuments as Dunikowski. After the war the artist made monumental works like: "A monument of gratitude for Red Army" in Olsztyn "A monument of uprising action" at the St. Anna's Mountain. Raw shapes, full of peace and dignity, embrace eternal glory of the heroes. We greatly appreciate your works of art, our tireless artist! Many stones are still waiting for you to bring to life beauty hidden inside them. ...always cheerful... ...to the cheerfulness.. Happy New Year! Well, what gives, little lady? Always cheerful, always cheerful... To the cheerfulness... Happy New Year. Where are you going this late? To the West. - What, on foot in the Zone? - Can I see your papers? Well, did you have a nice New Year's? Your name? Well, what's your name, Miss? Karka! Pauline Karka. But it is... bloody. What do you have there? My child. May I see it? Now come inside and get warm, young lady. The Rats - Based on the play by: Adapted for the screen by: - What's it about? - Go to the police! Room 12, the police inspector said. For that you drag my child out in the freezing cold, risking it dying? - Well, whatever, Mrs John. - Don't shout at my daughter like that! What has happened, Miss Pauline? The inspector didn't say, Mr Hassenreuter, - only that they are to id..idi.. Pauline... - Identify... - ...her, yes. - Pauline? I've never heard that name. - What am I to do there? - You, nothing! Who said anything about you? I let her work for me, paying her under the table.That doesn't concern you. - Unreported employment? - Yes, that's my concern, I'll take care of it myself. - Taxi! - Police headquarters! Room 12, Mr John. Room 12! - Dr. Wulff! - John! - I'm just tagging along. - Please, have a seat. Thanks a lot. You own a laundry. No, my wife has a laundry. I am a haulier. - What is it about? - Do you know a certain Pauline Karka? Is she dead? Mentally unbalanced? Yes, certainly, she's insane. What did I tell you, Karl? Something is not quite right. She's not mentally sound - a quite common... pathological liar, I told him. Any word from her is a lie and whatever she has told you about me, that's all a rotten lie. You cannot believe it. About you? She hasn't said a word about you. - What? - Do you know a Willy Koslanski? - No. - Not you either? Willy Kos... no. I've never heard of that name. Why? Because she had his passport with her. Stained with blood.. And forged. You know nothing about this? No, how would I know with whom this crazy woman has associated with. I let her work with me out of pure compassion and good-heartedness upon her arrival from the East Zone, and for that I'm now interrogated! Hold on. Bring the woman in here! There's a possibility she might remember you. - But what if she is dangerous? - What could she possibly do to you, Anna? Don't worry, she's complety harmless. My God. She really is crazy. Pauline. Mrs John. Pauline, oh my goodness. What has Bruno done to you? Bruno? Bruno! BRUNO! What is it? Let me go! Everything is like it should be. See, she really is insane! So you recognize me, right? Did you beat me? Like I told you: Hit me again, I said. Do you remember? Nobody knows what the girl has gone through. But now we must speak about it. The truth - and nothing but the truth, so help me God. Pauline Kraka. No, it's not for me. I have only written here. Poste restante. Mr Harald Brennemann I have no identity card. - Maybe you have his forwarding address? - Where has he moved to? I don't know. To the West. Brennemann, Brennemann... Brennemann... Brennemann... No, but there are a bunch of letters there. Christ, no! - He never picked them up. - He can still come by. - Please, I'd like to have them back. - No, it's not that simple, Miss. - They are returned to sender. - But please, that's me. - Yes, by postal route, Miss. - But please, I no longer have an address. They could get into the hands of strangers. Please, give me the letters. - Please! - I cannot do that, Miss. Everything must be in order. Does the letter weigh too much? You may want to come back to the counter again! Here's another letter for him. Maybe they know his address. Wait, I'll write it down for you. Again, I'm so sorry. Don't strain yourself, Karl! If I were to wait for Bruno, I wouldn't get going today. He's still on his lunch break. Just once I'd like to see that you did not make any excuses for your brother. How long will you be gone? Well, Anna, I really don't know. The stuff here must go to Frankfurt and Essen. And I won't return empty-handed. That doesn't pay. And I'd also like to do some sightseeing in the West, you know. Middelmann Co., starting anew over there. What, from Berlin? That's out of the question! But Anna, it can't go on like this; that you're always assisting. But that doesn't bother me. It does me! I want my kid to inherit something of value! Has he stirred again? - Are you Mr John? - Yes, what is it? I just want to enquire about an address. My husband needs to go. You wait in the office meanwhile. Above the stairs... I'll write you where I am in case something happens. - What would happen? - I said "in case"! And don't overstrain yourself now! Drive careful and look after yourself. Yes. And you look after our child, dear! Brennemann? Brennemann, wait a minute... he was such a nice young man from the East Zone... Görlitz! Yes, but where he ended up... that I don't know. - Didn't he say something about Düsseldorf? - Düsseldorf? Ah, now I recall. There were some old family heirlooms, destroyed in the bombings, that were deposited with us. Now he has sold everything. Away with it, he said Brennemann! And I'll have you know that 23,50 Marks too much was incorrectly charged in storage fees. - Well, what do you say to that? That's my husband all over! What didn't belong to him, he did not want. It was here 4 months, but debt never lapses, he always said. Because there's always a chance he'll return. Well, forget about it! What now? I see! Bruno! - Yes, what is it? - Come here! Oh, dear Lord! Come, give me a hand. Come on. That's it... Excuse me so much! I'm just a little dizzy. Maybe I haven't eaten sufficiently today. - Thanks a lot... - Don't be in such a hurry, Miss. First I'll make you a nice cup of coffee. So that you'll feel better. Bruno, bring the girl to the apartment. I'll come by soon. - Many thanks, I really am fine again... - He's my brother! Allow me: Mechelke. Now just come here, Miss... And then nothing more. No news and no address. Just poste restante, the main post office, Berlin. My letters are there now. He didn't even pick them up. What do you want to do now? Turn to the refugee centre? Should I give the refugee centre a sob story? That he promised me...faithfully his mother's ring. He promised to return for me but then let me down till I cleared off to the West. Away with it! And I don't even know his address. I won't be kicked to the curb like that! I've had enough of compassion and humilation at home. But I'll find him soon and settle the score. When I see him... He will still think of me when he sees me again. Well, first take the money that we owe him... I don't want his money! I want...never, I want nothing more from him... And his child I don't want at all! Why should it live? He himself never wanted it but... he shall see it! First he shall see it and know how it feels when all is taken from one. Then I will kill it and myself, too. But first I'll go to this shit of a dad and throw the dead kid at his feet! Let him see how his conscience is dead. He'll cry and curse, that dog... I don't know where to go anymore. My employer has fired me. I have no place to sleep... I have no money, no papers. Nothing. Nothing at all... Well, have the child first, and the rest will follow. Going by the laundry, small wonder that he's run off... - Did you eavesdrop again? - My hearing is excellent. Bring the suitcase to Mrs Kunze. She has a room free. She can stay there. - Well, when are you due? - That's none of your damn business! For how long should I rent the room then? - For as long as she works for me. - Under the table? With no money and no papers? - Can't you just do what I say? - Of course, dear Anna. Don't I always do what you want? Well, just get going... Morning, Mrs Ziemann. Is everything fine? Selma, you shouldn't place the child here in the fumes. It's so unhealthy. Outside it's too cold, in the stairwell too draughty, and here it's too fumy! Where shall I take the little mite? Well, maybe you can make yourself useful at least! Come, help Mrs Ziemann with the basket. I need to lie down for a bit. Are you not feeling well, Mrs John? Oh, Mr Hassenreuter, it's the usual, you know... The child is coughing! It comes from smoking. Mother smokes all day and because the child coughs, she cannot sleep. and I'm fed up with it all. That's tragic! It makes one ask oneself who the real mother is. Well put, Mr Hassenreuter, and so true! Sometimes it seems to me as if I gave birth to it myself. Are you looking for me, Anna? Man, did you give me a fright, Bruno! Where have you been? Upstairs. What are you doing here? As if I didn't suspect that we'd need rat poison again. I've just brought some from the drugstore. You lay it out tomorrow so we'll get rid of that plague. Using the Lisol, you mop up here. It's damn filthy here! The furniture and the mattresses are all covered in dust. You beat those out before it starts snowing again... Can I do anything else for you, dear Anna? Yes, make it so clean here that one can eat from the floor! - Before Karl returns home again... - When does he come then? Then he'll ask me again what you have done in the meantime, and I can lie again... Oh, Mrs John. I'll get the child right away. Mother's already in bed... - Is Mr Hassenreuter there? - No, how come? Mrs John! Good evening. Mrs Knobbe! I'm so grateful to you, Mrs John. That you can look after the little one for a few hours at least. - It has to stay somewhere. - Its neverending coughing and crying never lets me sleep. I have to be on duty at night... Won't you take a seat? And all that after the difficult birth! It's a blessing that it's so dark in the bar. Tell me, Mrs Knobbe, for how long have you been staying in bed? For six days, Mrs John! Six days and then it's: "Out, we need the bed!" Having children is no illness, says the health service. Not the slightest consideration. When it comes to paying, they squeeze everyone. But he won't let himself be squeezed... Rely on it! That's what my lawyer said. - You too? - No, thanks. The fine gentleman will pay. There's still something called fatherhood. Only the pleasure and no responsibility? Ha! He's here, Mrs John! Where I, in my condition, was made to sit at the bar's cash register... No percentages anymore! And then, not even the alimony! Mr Hassenreuter? Did you go to the state library? Oh certainly, the books! Yes, just a moment, Mrs John! - An extra lock? - And a bolt on the inside! As if there was anything to steal from him, Mr Theater Director! Without a theater... He still owes me the rent. How does he make a living? Life, but my lips are sealed... Morning, Mrs John! I have something for you. Gynecology, midwifery and infant care. Whether this is the right one for you... I've been a bachelor all my life. It's all Greek to me... I'll find my way through, Mr Hassenreuter! Thank you very much... What do you want with it? The proof of the pudding is in the eating! Five years ago misfortune struck me and I lost a child. - But now you're already seven months pregnant. - Just so! This time I want to know for sure. Doctors are just men and have no idea what goes on inside us. Come on... Bruno? Why are you snooping around here? It smells so strange here, all the way out to the courtyard. It's Lisol. It smells healthy! No, it reeks... like in hospital, as when mother had our baby. Why are you mopping up here? So that you have something to ask. Here! This is women's work. Hah! Whenever you want something from me, I'm a lady to Mr Bruno! But when I want something from you... What do you want from me? Nothing at all! It looks so different here. I've fixed it up so I can sleep here. Sleep? Yes... I'm not telling anyone... A real little room, something like that is what I've always wished for. With a mirror... But to sleep here alone, Bruno... I would have been afraid to. Well, if I'm afraid, I'll call on you, you little slut. Small since when? I'm plenty grown up! More than is good for you, right? Not at all! But I'm already outgrowing the clothes... Everyone can tell that. See for yourself! Have a look. Well, what's already there... Don't be so sure. - If you've set yourself up here... - Stop it, ok? Can I come visit then, Bruno? This is no children's playground! Can I have a drag? Why are you shaking like that? Give it back! Just what I'd need - have people say that I seduced a minor into smoking. Come over here... What do you want? Come here already! It's my sister! Take care that you're not caught here! Maybe one could stretch a few clothes lines from pillar to pillar? Or across here... Or at right angles so that the whole thing would get more class, become slightly more stylish. So that things are not hanging around here like... in a pawnshop. There are more 100 valuable costumes here. He wants to unpack his stuff. All the baskets? Termination! Yes, Mrs John... 9 years! Since the end of the war all my stage equipment has been here. Ever since I saved it from the beautiful Glogau. And for what? ...Oh well. Bruno? What have you been up to with Selma up there? Do you think I'm crazy? How do I know what you are and what you're not! I don't want to know anything! I always keep my eyes shut. Because you're my brother. You already allowed that to happen once with a minor.. If that gets out! What gets out is up to you. And I also know what else cannot get out... Sometimes I ask myself why I don't tell Karl everything. There'll be a big washing-up, and then I'll be rid of the eternal fear. You won't do that, Anna. You know very well what'll happen! Good evening, Miss. You have visitors! Mrs John! - I've been to the doctor. - Yes, he has already called. Everything is fine. You're as fit as a fiddle. It can be any day now. Any day... Did you tell him that I must go back before it comes? Yes, I told him that. But I won't go back! Yes, Pauline. It'll all be fine. Have a seat first... - I won't go back! - Now come, first sit down. It's so hot... - Won't you take off your coat! - Yes. Do you see that? What should I see, Mrs John? Well, take a closer look! Where is the child that I'm having? Mrs John! Well, it just happens that one loses a child before it's born. But for me it's the second time and it'll always be that way... But you were seven months pregnant! Was I? No, it happened in the fourth month... quite suddenly... My husband had just gone on tour. Thank God he didn't notice anything. Yes, and... Then I wanted to adopt a child, but... the girl left... And since then I've played a part. No one has noticed anything. But why haven't you told the truth? Because he is a man, Pauline! A handsome, strong man... Because there are plenty of young things that can have a baby, like yourself! Because our greatest happiness would be if we were to have one... I've always wished for one and so has he... to raise someone... small for the future... Well, why do you think he's so long on the road? Because he wants to build up something new for the child. I need to leave him something, he says. That's how he is, my husband... Not such a one as yours, who does not want it. But he's bound to notice it sometime, Mrs John! Will he? - Yes! Only you and Bruno know about this, and he keeps his mouth shut. My husband doesn't need to find out that that is not his child... nor mine... when I lay it in the cradle for him. Mine? No, Mrs John, that's out of the question. But yes, it can be done. It will work out, it will... I've closely considered everything... I've read the books from the state library on childbirth, and I've sent you to the doctor to see that all is fine. I've made good friends with the midwife. But Pauline, what could happen? If one is so young, fit and healthy as you, one doesn't need to lose it like I did. No, Mrs John. No can do! But Pauline... Both of you are helped by this. Yourself and your Harald! When he asks you where the child is, you say that you've lost it, like what happened to me... But he won't ask anything. He doesn't want it, and neither do you. You want HIM! And without a kid he may take you back! That's why he left. Or do you want to go back? No, I don't want to go back. Isn't it true that you don't want the child, or did you never say so? Yes, I did say it. And what will you do if I stop protecting you? You won't go to the refugee aid, and quite rightly so.. In the camp they're very selective... they only let the politically persecuted through. Maybe you are a political, Pauline? Could you give me some money, if I leave my child with you? What? Then I could go to the West... You see, Pauline, you really are reasonable! Pay attention.. I've saved up some money, a couple of hundred Mark... for the birth... I'll give it to you. Well, and you'll also need identification papers. I'll get them for you! As for an ID card and such, Bruno will take care of it. Then you can go to your fiancée in the West. Well, what is it, Pauline? Haven't I offered you enough? 500 Mark! I'd like to think it over, Mrs John. Well, yes... I only meant it well.. Just wanted to help you. You sleep on it... That's all of it, Mr Hassenreuter! Yes, my child. That's all I have left after 20 years of cultural work. "The rest is silence..." Hamlet! Yes, my child, you should have seen me as Hamlet... people still talk about it. I'd have loved to, Mr Hassenreuter. Hamlet, Prince of Denmark. A play in 5 acts by William Shakespeare... O, that this too too solid flesh would melt Thaw and resolve itself into a dew. How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable, Seem to me all the uses of this world! 'tis an unweeded garden, That grows to seed... things rank and gross in nature Possess it merely.... For 9 years now I dream about it that this collection of costumes may once more grace the stage lights... The only place in this despicable world where the feelings still are great and sublime. A world full of memories... You are too young for that, my child. One must first have lost something in life... to know how much you loved it. What would you know about that? But I do know, Mr Hassenreuter. You're the only one that can understand. Please! I would like to discuss something with you. For God's sake, don't say you want to go to the theater? I just have to talk to someone who has understanding. Understanding? Of what? Hello! Is Mr Hassenreuter here? Excuse me, my child. A customer. Clear this away, please! - Are you arranging a masquerade ball here? - Yes, yes, yes... I would like to discuss something with you, Sir... May I... What does he say? Are you afraid that he doesn't come? Or that he already has? Well, read it already! Dear Anna! Finally, I've got a nice load back to Berlin and could already be with you the day after tomorrow. Now it's over! But... As if the Devil were involved, today the car axle broke and now it can take a while again. Man! Well, has she decided yet? - She is still here. - Well, do you already know how and where? Mrs John! Mrs John! Mrs John! ...Here... Watch out, you'll marvel at what I've prepared for you here. Mrs John...please, Mrs John. But I cannot...here... - have my child all alone. Mrs John.. - But Pauline, be quite calm. What is going to happen? I've everything ready here... At the pharmacy they asked me if I intended to set up a hospital. You just watch how cosy I'll make it for you... But Mrs John...please... I cannot have my child...here... All by myself, Mrs John... But I'll be with you, Pauline. I and Bruno... and he'll watch over you, day and night. Breathe deeply, Pauline! Very deep and quiet. As I read it to you from the book. That's fine. And now you think of something beautiful... Oh, my Lord. it hurts so bad... Bruno! Check if the water's already boiling! And bring the hot towels from the dryer! A boy! Where is he? ...And so I can only say: my dear Mrs John... a la bonheur! Thanks a lot. Look at it, Mr Hassenreuter: A seven-month-old child and already it looks just as big as my own. "Explain to me, Count Oerindur, this dilemma of nature!" Why "dilemma"? There is no dilemma! You're absolutely right, Mrs John. With such a giant as father... Well, he'll be in for a surprise, right, Mrs John? Don't blow your smoke in my child's face! Don't be surprised then if your child still looks like a seven month-old one. That is not due to my smoking! That's all down to his father, that blue-blooded weakling who tried to prove that I couldn't bring up a child! But he lost the case yesterday. I got full custody. - Well, I congratulate you. - Thanks! Could we also look at the new one, Mrs John? And the alimony too, 75 Mark monthly. Learn to hate the alimonies that come from cultivated human hands! Little enough, when I consider that it was pure pleasure for these gentlemen, and for me just... - Regardez les enfants, Madame Knobbe! Goodbye, Mrs John! - Bye. Mealtime! Thanks so much for your visit... Ei Ei, now look. Ei! Now stop that, Selma! The only thing missing is that mine is infected by yours. It isn't contagious, or else I would've gotten tuberculosis a long time ago And you did say that I could put it down here. Yes, once upon a time! When one has one's own, one can no longer take care of strangers' kids. Now get out of the parlour... Where is Miss Pauline? How come? When I went to the laundry yesterday there was a new one there! Oh well, and? I sent for her from the employment exchange due to my condition. The other one went back where she came from... Back? But she didn't want to go back at all! What do I care what she wanted? Get out! One may still ask! What are you doing down here? Are you not pleased with my hotel anymore or..am I perhaps not friendly with you? Yes... You are like a brother. Brother? Nobody has told me that before. Well, that is an outright insult, indeed it is! Oh well... You'll get your ID card, then you can tell your lovely Harald all. He will make you forget everything. Forget? What can he make me forget? I have nothing but hate left for him. But I won't let him forget, I'll show him He's in for a shock when he sees what he's done to me. Hold on for a minute! What is it? Get dressed and hurry away! My brother-in-law. Damn! Is there nobody here? You're sleeping in broad daylight, right? But not in my underwear, Karl! Also, still cheeky! I drove through the night. And you've arrived 3 days too late. Father John! What? - I said: Father John! Are you crazy? Told you: Not in my underwear! In what hospital is she then? Hospital? The birth took place here. Karl! Mommy! You have a son, Mr John! Why is he in such a hurry? It is already there! Were you there, Mrs Thielbacke? They called neither for me nor a doctor. Well! Hold it then! My hands are so dirty. Come on, move! Hold yourself straight, girl! What do I say if someone sees me? That you've fetched your wages... No hospital... is that at all doable? Well, there you see. Isn't he a fine boy? Didn't you also come into this world in your mother's bed? But the due date was a long way off! Oh well, that's why I too didn't believe it when the pain sat in. Then I would've called the doctor. So you did it all alone... A mother's soul - All alone... Bruno was there; he helped me. - What do you have there? - Nothing. I left the money and the papers in the car. Bruno... Could I not return to Mrs Kunze, Bruno? Why do you ask questions? Nope, you'll stay with me for a couple of days! I'll find somewhere to sleep. I've never been worried about that! Oh my goodness... the bed! Stay here! I'll be right back. Are you not feeling well? - I'm just waiting for someone. Thanks a lot. - Excuse me please... Did you get her rid of her so soon? Who am I supposed to have gotten rid of? I've been sleeping here! This caring is touching! Did you not see Hassenreuter's costumes down below? I figured that I'd stay guard here, so that nothing is stolen. And then you open up a chest without any authorization and take its contents out? Should I sleep on the mattress? No, Bruno, that you shouldn't do! You need a soft pillow for your conscience to let you sleep. Do you also sleep in your nightdress? You piece of crap! If it weren't for your sister, I'd break every bone in your body! You're not worthy of her blind adoration... Here! You can return the rags of those dames with whom you've been sinning! If you would at least admit to it, but no... You're a coward and you lie... Lie... Whoever lies, steals and whoever steals... No, I'll mess up the baptism... You hang yourself alone. Old fool! Now then... Father of the child? Karl Friederich August John! Why isn't he here in person? Because he can't waste his time on government agencies. Mother of the child? - I! - Name! Anna Henriette, née Mechelke! Name of the child? Hans - Albert - Karl - John! Sign here as witnesses! - Here you are. - Pauline! Right! Thank you very much! Goodbye, Mr Steinkomm. Well, Pauline, now it's time... Goodbye! My promise applies. You'll get papers and money, then you can go shortly... - Please, when will it be? - Well, in about 2-3 days, right? Mrs John... could I see the child just once? Pauline, now be reasonable. That's just grief and heartbreak! You've had your share of it. Now, first you take the 500 Marks. Come on, take it! Bruno! Give me the money! She'll take it from me. But that's not your money. I must pay for the identity card. The fun costs 600 Marks! Why haven't you taken care of it long ago? - Without any photos? I need to have her photographed. And you wanted her to be a witness. Now don't get worked up! But, Bruno, she'll wake up. She must go away before she gathers her wits. We can't let that happen! And I know exactly what's awaiting her when she realizes. And that is terrible. I feel... as if it were me. Attention! Photographing now, Miss! The camera will click shortly. What's the matter? You're not at the dentist's! Why the sad face? A passport is not a wanted poster. It's not so bad. Please, a bit more pleasant, Miss! Well then! ... Well then! ... See? When you smile, you look quite pretty. Excuse me, please! It almost makes me sorry that I must get you an ID card today. Is it still a long way? Wait for me! Wait for me! I can't go so fast It hasn't changed Hey, wait, slow down, I have to pee One for all and all for one Let's stop here With a horse, at least nobody has to pedal It's dirty You're never happy Look, it's Charles A breakdown? You can't get anywhere - Okay, you win. Come on. - Oh, thank you Take care of my bike Hey, what're you doing? - lm looking for something. - What? Would it be a Swiss knife? Yeah, I suppose How come you've got it? In a way, I did a trade For what? A secret What? It's about Charles. You can tell he's in love You sure? He's sticking his lips out Stop, you're tickling my ear Your cheek's all red - Where would I get make-up? - From Claire's. Later, I'll tell you a terrible secret about Charles Ah yes, what secret? Go ask her to dance I don't know how to dance Neither does she, go on I can't dance I want to You dance terrific, like in the movies Is this what the priests teach you in school? It's the last bottle The Mayor wants a word. He refused to go away He can return tomorrow when Edward is here He insists I'll see him Save a little champagne. I shall surely be needing it Wait, I'm really thirsty That's the rhythm 84. Want to dance? She doesn't know how Time to learn. Shall we try? I don't want to anymore Just when I was getting good That was the Mayor He wants extravagant payment And all for a water bill The Popular Front, what nonsense Professor... it's the last one Naturally it hasn't been chilled And your hiccup? It's fine July 5, 1939... I danced with him Feeling his warm breath on my skin drove me crazy I think he loves me, but we mustn't. We must be strong I rather pity cousin Julien, poor fellow If he knew a great love, it would transform him My goodness, it's all so difficult A soul Don't expect a letter. We're not pen pals Don't look at me like that I'll be' back, I don't intend going off to war Write to me, your Aunt Agnes Now, you be good Goodbye I'll come to the station Answer Julien He can do what he likes - I can't stop him Thank you Why're you mad at me? I'm your pal Maybe you think we're friends, but we're not Out of her head What's this thing? I wondered where I put it. I use it for exercises Clementine... I've come to a decision I'm leaving with you. It's all decided If you agree I'll write my mother when we're there, explaining my decision When we arrive... where? Wherever you're going I packed a suitcase. I'll be ready. You'll see I'll manage all the details I'm sure you will Please, don't joke. I can't stand it I'll never cause you any problem I'm the one who would cause you problems I'm sick... finished Yes, I mean it. I'm flat broke Poverty doesn't scare me You know what it is? An empty stable is poverty to you or a dress you wear for two seasons. The real thing you don't know Here, look Quite a group Is that you there? It's you It was. Where he went, women used to adore him But he died penniless He was always joking He'd imitate a horse when I needed cheering up An alcoholic, a hopeless drunk This is my husband. Now he sells door to door And this one He's a millionaire with influence Will he remember me? What's wrong? Crying? Leave her alone - Who asked you anything? - What? What did you dare say? You heard me You are completely crazy I've heard that before Don't touch me I'm never going to You're beneath anything, you're disgusting A stupid egoist. You're putrid. And to think I loved you I still owe you one I loved you, you hear? I had all your letters. I'd find your hairpin and save it What a joke Stop it, Julien... It hurts Let me go Clementine? She left I'm scared What do you know? I'm scared too See that bird? He can fly across a continent and never land once It must be wonderful, gliding through the sky Hey... Balloons Shall we go? Will you give me the Swiss knife again? Yeah sure, baby, sure Don't speak to me like that Ok, baby Juve! Juve! Mr Thomery is waiting for the Baroness. You could have told me earlier. My dear Mathilde, this portrait of you is beautiful. This little Jacques Dollon has talent. We can clearly see the influence of Tamara de Lempicka, but you're a greater influence on him. Oh! What do you think? Jacques is 25 years old. Since I've read "Cheri" by Colette... How is it going in Santo Domingo? Very well. I just bought 2 acres of land. I was able to extend my sugar cane plantations. Sure, I have some problems with indigenous people, but... Production increases, this is what counts. What is happening? I do not see that pretty smile that all of Paris envies. You cannot smile forever. Yesterday, I asked for 60.000 francs from my banker. And since then no news. What do you fear? The banker Barbey has foolproof credit. It isn't his credit which I doubt, but mine. Usually, He sends me what I ask in the shortest time. Mathilde... You had to speculate deplorably to need so much money. I bet you still bought some of these copper mines in Rhodesia. I thought they went up. But what do you want? I like to play. This is the only distraction I have left. We never change. Mathilde, can I help you? Oh, no! That, never. What happened between us was too precious to me. Even if on your side... It is no longer a subject of money between us. We'll have dinner later, but you will not regret it. I invited the lady of your thoughts. - Princess Danidoff? - Herself! Norbert Thomery? Here you are. - How's the sugar? - It melts, Madam, in your presence. The Baroness is served. Take the princess' arm. I will follow you. What a beautiful couple you would make. Come in. Madam, Mr Barbey and another gentleman are here. They ask if you can receive them in spite of the late hour. Of course. I'm coming. - You will excuse me. - You're welcome. Let me introduce you to Mr Nanteuil, my new partner. Good evening, Mr. Madam. Excuse my tardiness, Baroness, please. Mr Nanteuil is a French Canadian. With the capitals he brought, my bank, our bank, is now the first private bank in Paris. I am very happy for you, Mr Barbey. You will therefore find it easier to give me the money I asked. Unfortunately, no. It is no longer the same operation. I do not know how to say this, but you are completely ruined. This is the sad language of numbers. But it is not possible. Your hotel, your cars, your home... - But... - You must leave everything. Which Baroness? De Vibray, Mr Commissioner. His patron of the arts, somehow. Ah! Good morning, doctor. Hello, Commissioner. She died. Just a few hours ago. Yes, yes, yes, yes... She was murdered? Difficult to say. The pulse is very weak. Janitor, a glass of water, please. Go, drink. He probably absorbed a violent narcotic. He'll be back. Go away! What do you want? I am a physician. Ease your mind. Breathe quietly. Deeply. Tell us what happened to you. My head hurts. What happened to me? I do not know, I do not know. Ah, yes! Yes, yes! I was reading, last night and suddenly, some people came out of hiding and pounced on me. I wanted to free myself, but I was gagged, and they pierced my arm with something sharp. I lost consciousness. I wanted to scream, move, but I was powerless. I sank. But who are you, sir? The Commissioner eighteenth borough. When you were attacked, you were alone? It looks like an intramuscular injection. Absolutely alone. I repeat my question: Were you really alone last night? Are you sure? You had invited anyone? Mathilde! Mathilde. For whatever reason, you could have poisoned your patron. And then deceived us by injecting it into yourself. A soporific. All this is not clear and I am obliged to place you under arrest. Until you decide to tell us the truth. But I am innocent. I said all I knew. You may enjoy explaining it to the Judge. "La Capitale", latest edition! Latest edition! Come in. The pictures you requested. Put them over there, thank you. Hello, Fandor! Interesting, that paper of yours on the Norvins St. case. You have surprised everyone once more. And say so ... Couldn't you push a little further? They have no adventures, these people? Adventures? Yes, you could write a scandalous article about the Baroness de Vibray and Dollon. After all, this is the only crime for 48 hours. We must fill up the column. And maybe you could drag some Fantomas in all this. Stop joking about this, please. For most people, Fantômas is nothing but make-believe. Nobody was able to put a name on the man behind the mask. I have the feeling you forget the death of Juve in his last battle against Fantômas. It is true that our famous Police officer was horribly killed. Buried beneath Lady Beltham's hotel. Yes. A dirty death... but it will perhaps have been useful. Useful? How? Because it proves the existence Fantômas. Because it forced him to disappear. Curiously, it is in dying that Juve has kept Fantômas from doing harm. So what do we do with Baroness de Vibray? Could we not suggest that Dollon was heir to his will, or something like that? Hello, yes? Yes. It's for you, Fandor. Thank you. Yes? Jacques Dollon just hung himself in his cell. Thank you for calling So the murderer hanged himself? My little Fandor, the murderer is innocent. What are you talking about, Arsène? We just brought a letter with the name of the Baroness de Vibray on the back. I read it discretly before bringing it to the procurator. I copied it. "Mr Procurator. The Barbey and Nanteuil bankers made it clear that I'm completely ruined. I have no family. My life is stupid, useless, and when you read this letter, I'll be dead by poison. I write you to make it clear I'm the only one responsible for my death. Nobody should be blamed for my death. Nobody. Farewell. Baroness de Vibray." Fantastic! You are a brother, Arsène. Usher! Procurator asks for me. I gotta go. You would get me a permit to enter in the jail? What would I not do? Judge Fuselier is committed to the case. See you later. You do not monitor the prisoners to prevent these things? Listen, after we took his fingerprints, everything was fine. At midnight, the guard made his round and found nothing unusual. Only this morning he was found hanging. When soup was being served. Hanging? And with what? I see what you're getting at, Mr Fandor. But no. The guards removed his tie, his suspenders and his shoelaces. All that was left him was a medallion which he held dear. You know, the unfortunate man had to exert a terrible energy, because he tied strips of his shirt to the bars of his window and he hung himself leaning back in the rear. Tell me, death was probably very slow? Could I see him? Why not photograph him? Miss Elizabeth Dollon. Ah! Let her in. She comes from Switzerland. Sir, where is my brother? Miss, I beg you, rest easy. He was arrested but it probably was a mistake. I know, but it is terrible. You know, Miss, what would be truly terrible is that he was really guilty. Why did you not free him? He has therefore not been able to defend himself? On the contrary, Miss. H defended himself. And where is he now? Can I see him? Listen... I would rather... I mean... I fear that seeing him You're hiding something. I want to see him, you hear me? He's dead, isn't he? Alas, Mss. No, it is not possible. This is not true. He was killed? Listen, lead me to him. You can not refuse me. It's too horrible. I beg you, calm down. I'll take you to your brother. Your brother was innocent. I would have preferred him to be guilty, but alive. This hanging is a horrible story. It's not our fault. We should have better monitored him. You, especially. You're my assistant, right? I can not have eyes everywhere. So when the judge will be here, be available to him. With deference. Otherwise, you will return to "La Santé" jailhouse. If you knew the trouble I was given to be posted here. This is an entry permit. Mr Fandor? It is unfortunate that the procurator authorizes a journalist, especially today. I know you really want to kiss your brother but will you be able to endure the test? Open the door. Nibet. We lay back Mr Dollon on his bed, Mr judge. He seems to sleep. Damn, the dead has left. Listen, let's be serious, - you're in the wrong cell. - But no! You see that he is not here. He was here a few minutes ago. You're fooling us.. He was moved elsewhere. Impossible. I'm the only one with keys. Anyone know where the corpse from cell 12 is? No one came. The dead was here. It's true. The doctor declared him dead. Yes. He was put on the bed. We didn't touch him. You may have kept your key, but the prisoner found another one. The key to freedom. It's extraordinary! He could not crawl through the bars! Chief. This man, was he dead, yes or no? Mr Judge, to be dead is to be dead, and he was dead. He lives. He lives. A boy is arrested for murder. But he is innocent. Then he hangs himself, dies, and escapes from jail without being seen. If we don't double our readership with that, I will be hanged! Hold your horses! One hanging man is enough. One of two things: Either Jacques Dollon was not dead and he went out alone, or he was dead and someone took him out. Anyway, we must know how the escape took place. An inexplicable mystery is worthy only of one man. I'm sure of it now. He returns, unlike what I said earlier. Fantômas? Yes. I have to take the case, if only to avenge Juve. What are you going to do? Blood. Get lost! Something's wrong! Go, go! I'm leaving. See you tonight. Tail-hair, follow me. Don't you understand, idiot? Come on! Come on, hurry up! You silly fool! I could have sliced him for good! Come on! Oh! Toulouche! What is happening? Go back to sleep, you! Have you embarked the counterfeit money? Yeah. For this, no problem, but this damned reporter, this Fandor, he was walking in the main sewer. I was going to slice him for good, but this idiot, he threw him in the river. With any luck, he drowned. Not a chance! He swims like a fish. Why did you save his life? What do you reproach me? What innocence! He always forgets everything. It's really not smart to have him introduced in the gang. I do what I want. If it's not in your taste, you can remove your printing presses from my cellar. For what I earn on your output... Besides he renders services. His brain is full of holes like a strainer. Precisely, as he has no memory, he says nothing. It's better. Go, now. I have to open my shop at 9 am. Let's go! Go and have the stew from last night warmed up. It will be better when we have the new Mexican paper. Eh? No, nothing. Montparnasse, quick! Yes, sir. Good morning. Hello, Elizabeth. Come, I've already ordered. I read your article yesterday. If my brother is alive, can I see him? I never wrote he was alive. I just assumed he was. In fact, I worked deductively. At last, he's alive or not? In reality, since last night, I'm... sure he is dead. I even have proof. I found this medallion in the sewers that serve the courthouse. It's horrible. Is it the medallion he always carried with him? Yes. I gave it to him. It is the effigy of St. Jacques, his patron saint. I brought it back from a pilgrimage to Compostela. Why weren't you more clear in your article? You are right. I should've speak to you before writing it. What is important for a journalist, is to keep readers in suspense, so they'll want to buy the newspaper. At the expense of the truth? I never wrote anything false. I just give enough elements so the reader can imagine what he wants. I'm losing my mind, you know. Elizabeth our only chance to clarify this story is to remain united. I ask you to do that for your brother. And for me. We're going to choose the cake. Okay. Which one? This one. What is it? Who is there? The injection, quick! Pick up the list. It is on the desktop. Here it is. You're lucky. If you had not saved me from the guillotine in the past, I would have strangled you. To leave this list lying about... Fortunately the police didn't find it. I did not realize when you had asked me to pick it up. It is you who have written it on this desktop. I thought that you had taken it. This is a misunderstanding. The incident is closed. It remains to know whether the girl has seen it. The sheet was returned. Yes, but you never know. And when in doubt, I do not abstain. Good Lord, what are you doing? Nibet, you still have a lot to learn. - Excuse me. - Sir? - The Number 10? - To your right. - Thank you. - It's nothing. Elizabeth? Elizabeth? Why am I in the garden? Someone tried to suffocate you with the gas from the kitchen. But the gas has been cut for two days. You have not seen the men at work? I have. You escaped the worst. How are you? I do not know. I feel drunk. You have to walk. Stand up. Come on. Breathe deeply. Go ahead. I remember. - They gave me an injection. - An injection? Same as your brother: a soporific. The man who pushed the needle was dressed in black. Fantômas... Fantômas? Ah, yes, the list. Which list? The list. It's a tragedy. They burned it. What are you talking about? What is that list? A hand written sheet with names and dates. It was here. I saw it only yesterday. I did not think that it was important. I should have called you, Fandor. Calm down. Try to remember what was written. Well, I only remember... "Baroness de Vibray" "April 5" and... And then? And then, of course, my brother's name with the same date. Maybe "12 April" was written too. I'm not sure at all. Not a word to anyone about what just happened. We're here to help you with the circumstances you are going through. We know everything about your financial situation. Indeed. Through us, you could sell some of your unfortunate brother's paintings. Yes, and if he is still alive, as I wish, he will be happy to know that his paintings were taken care of. It is very kind of you. I'm very grateful. You're welcome. You are very pale. Are you sick? No, not at all. On the contrary. Come with me. We will take the air in the garden. I'm taking care of her. We woke up painful memories to you. You are very alone in this house. Don't you have relatives? No. Friends? I'm here, now. I am very careful. Attentive to your eyes. My eyes? Yes, they are so young, so clear. And yet, I guess all they have seen recently that they should not have seen. Smile at me. I am convinced you will soon find your brother. Believe me. What can I say, Sir? Your words are helping me in an unexpected way. Probably you already suffered greatly in your own flesh. The suffering of others can not but interest a man like me. Your dedication affects me greatly. It is limitless, know it. Nanteuil, we will take our leave. Don't bother to lead us out, Miss. We'll let you know soon. Goodbye, sir. Goodbye. Count on me. And good luck. He is ...well... They are wonderful, aren't they? For them, a painter who died is a painter whose quoted value goes up. Look at Modigliani. Barbey and Nanteuil are astute businessmen. You see evil everywhere. Professional bias. You should not stay here. This house is full of souvenirs. I know a wonderful boarding house. I lived over there when I arrived in Paris. Rather say that you fear for my life. Is that it? Yes. Taste it. It lacks a little of violet perfume. I come back. Whatever. Remain by my side. Why don't you want me to go? It will take only thirty seconds. It is April 12. I know, so what? It's the anniversary today. The fatal date. Listen, Princess, every year at this date, it's the same. You are afraid. Meanwhile, Mr Fantômas has not returned for four years. I'm superstitious. Come on, you're going to Mr Thomery's bal later. Exactly. Mr Thomey was ill-advised to give up this bal barely a few days after the tragic death of my friend the Baroness de Vibray. I tried to dissuade him. The Baroness was his mistress once. It was said, yes. I am sure of it, but it is precisely to deprive me of this suspicion that Norbert maintained the evening. You must get out of the bath, Princess, or you will be late. No, little Nadine, wearing an opal bracelet is old fashioned. I'll take this. And this. This way, you look like the Holy Virgin. I am neither one nor the other. This syncopated melody which contrasts with the constant rythm of the drums is really exciting. To dance, perhaps, but it's not worth Mozart. Dear friend, one can love Mozart and jazz. The only thing interesting you is religious music. Dear Mr Fandor, I devour your articles. This Dollon case is very exciting. So you like that much crime stories? Yes, when I do not live them. It's true, you have been visited by Fantômas in your bathtub a few years ago. Do not talk about it, especially tonight. I hope that he will be hanged very soon. Dear princess, I think you should not provoke him. Even in word. To hell with him. Do you believe in the devil? His supreme skill is to convince people he doesn't exist. - Sorry. - You're hurt? Madam, I am confused. Excuse me. It is nothing at all. I'll freshen up. A beauty like yours never changes. Come, my dear. I'll lead you. It was to discover your thoughts. You didn't answer me yet. Well... it is yes. Yes? You mean... Yes, yes really? Yes. I agree to become your wife. Now let me. Come and get me shortly. Do not be afraid. Sleep. Sleep. In the violent effort made by the thief to snatch the necklace and earrings from the princess his fingers, pressing on the neck of Princess Danidoff, left a slight trace of sweating. I spilled the silver nitrate on the princess' neck You see the results. Effectively. The print is very clear. It needs to be indentified. We are not at the end of our inquiry. Wait a moment, my little Fandor, you have not seen everything. Look at the details. The small scar, on both shots. These two fingerprints are identical. Absolutely identical. And where does the second impression come from? The anthropometric file. The name. The name of the culprit. The culprit is... Jacques Dollon. Jacques... It is not possible, this man is dead. Where's the gold? Over there. Thank you. What do you want, Sir? I would like to see Mr Nanteuil, please. Private business. Please follow me. It is Mr Fandor. Ask him to enter. Ah, Mr Fandor. I did not think I would meet you so fast. Mr Nanteuil. Hello. Sit down. You're probably not ignoring the excitement caused in Paris by the murder of the Baroness de Vibray. And the important theft committed against Princess Danidoff. And how am I concerned? The little I know, I learned it by reading your articles in the press, Mr Fandor. Can you confirm that the Baroness was ruined? Well, I do not violate the professional secret by saying yes. She had undergone irretrievable losses. And Jacques Dollon? You think he's guilty? A priori. From what I've read in the press. Why? Do you have any doubts? Nanteuil. What's the matter? We've been robbed. - How? - On the train. The gold was bound for the Bank of Munich. It wasn't monitored? The conveyors didn't last long. - They were thrown off the train. - By whom? A man. Dressed in black. A conveyor crashed on a pylon. The others could make it but they're in poor shape. A man. All in black. - Are you Mr Fandor? - Yes, why? You must go at once to 46 Bonaparte St, 4th Floor. This is Juve's address. You must be mistaken. No. Not at all. Fandor, my boy! My boy! Juve? Is that you? It's me in the flesh. When Lady Beltham's hotel blew up, you were found dead under the rubble. This is what I have made believe, in agreement with the Director of the force, Mr Havard. Immediately after the explosion, several of my men were found dead, some shredded. One of them was unrecognizable. For the public opinion, and in agreement with his family, he was called Juve. Why did you hide me the truth? I had given Monsieur Havard my word that no one would know the truth. And I kept to my word. Why passing up for dead? To better track Fantomas? Exactly. I learned that Lady Beltham had fled to England. I knew Fantômas would join her. So what? I crossed the Channel: unfortunately he had just left for Canada. And you have changed your face. Yes. To start again at the same level. Not without difficulties, I got introduced to this band of hoodlums that you know. People who may work for Fantômas? That's right: Cut-Nose, Gas-light, Mother Toulouche. Because... they began thieving again. Fandor, Fantomas is back. Why not arrest Nibet, Nose-cut - and the others? - No. No, they are small fry. Small-time criminals. No. I let them act freely and thanks to them, I'm sure that I will find Fantômas. But for now... "Tail-hair" I am, and "Tail-hair" I will remain. It's the name they gave you? Yes it is. I'm happy you are here. Fandor! Fandor! This is the last dispatch from Havas news agency: "The findings made on the trunk of the Munich-Paris train led to the discovery of a fingerprint left by Jacques Dollon, the man wanted for the murder of the Baroness de Vibray and the theft from the Princess Danidoff." This is madness! I'm going crazy! Not now! I need sensational stuff, so sort it out yourself. Go! Hello, Fandor. Good morning. She was in her room. Thank you. Excuse me. - How are you? - Better. I find it peaceful here. I got your message. What's wrong? Ah, yes. I read your article on the princess Danidoff. I 'm sure now: Her name was on the list with the date of April 12. Sorry to bother you, but someone is asking for Miss Elizabeth on the phone. Anyone know you are here? No, just you. I can accompany you? Yeah, sure. Hello? Elizabeth Dollon? Yes. He hung up. Apart from Sonia Danidoff, do you remember any other names in the list? Yes, maybe Tom... something. Or "Thomas". This tells you something? Without the name, it will not. There were also initials. Unfinished words. I think this list is the calendar for Fantomas futur attacks. I'm afraid, Fandor. These phone calls. Someone wants to kill me. We will survive. I promise you. Hello, Elizabeth. The convocation is at 4 pm, isn't it? Yes, yes. Thank you for your call, last night. It touched me. I have not called. I beg you, Fandor. Don't kid me. Despite the buzz, I recognized your voice. What am I supposed to have said to you? Very nice things, very delicate. And you asked me questions about the list again. Someone imitated my voice. Someone wanted to know what you exactly saw on that list. You will not return to the hotel. It's too dangerous. But what am I going to do? I'm getting mad! The persons named by Judge Fuselier are requested to enter. Whatever I do in the office of the judge, do not be surprised of the consequences for you, even if I created them. Good morning, miss. Hello, my dear Fandor. For once, I do not receive the journalist, but the witness. Miss. You have arrived at the right time to save Miss Dollon a few days ago. In any case, the gas was cut. It's hot in here. I'm taking off my coat. Please, miss. I've learned, gentlemen, that you had been victims of a thief. Yes, 25 million. That's right, gentlemen? It's a terrible blow for you. Abominable. We almost lost the trust of our clients. First in line, Mr Thomery, tycoon of the sugar industry. It's true. When you're a master of finance, confidence is essential. Yes, well, I guess you were insured, right? Obviously. But what are our troubles compared to the tragedy which hit Miss Elizabeth? The Murder of the Baroness de Vibray? No, Madame de Vibray commited suicide. The letter sent to the procurator was subjected to handwriting analysis and experts are adamant: It is his writing. I need your attention. What I'm about to reveal is extremely delicate. Elizabeth, you are surrounded by friends. I'm asking you to tell us the truth! But what truth? The naked truth. You met your brother in secret 48 hours ago! - This is false! - Do not deny it. It is wiser to confess. Mr Judge will consider it. Do you have proof of what you just said? Absolutely. This medallion, Mr judge You recognize it? You authorized Dollon to keep it with him in his cell. Why didn't we find the young man's body while his sister bears the medallion today? It's you who gave it to me! Do not deny it! You lie again only to save your brother. You know very well that if he is found and charged with these crimes, he'll get the scaffold. It shows a little. Doesn't it? I understand that it is a concern, but do not make it an obsession. Turn your head, Sonia. No one will see it, I assure you. Your scars are invisible. When I think about all that happened... Forget it. - Let's eat. - Sir? - What? - What is it? - A lady asked for you. - Take that. She's waiting in the park. How is she? My God... Cumbersome. Madam? I'm a jewel broker. Since the announcement of my next wedding, I keep getting visits from jewelers, decorators... While browsing, I found in a jewel store, I will not tell you his name by the way, these beads. These beads are beautiful, Madam, but again: it's not. I m sure the Princess Danidoff would be very happy to have them. Where are they from? Show them to her first, then you'll decide. I will give you a great price. And I have other jewelry. A moment. Oh, look, I'm in a hurry! If you decide to buy, meet me tomorrow at the Orsay railway station. -Alright. Jean, please get Madam to the door. - Well, sir. - Good evening. This is extraordinary, but... I swear, my dear Norbert, these are the jewels that were stolen from me. I have every reason to believe you. It is this woman? A receiver of stolen goods who sells the goods that thiefs put in her hands. I'll buy them. I have an appointment tomorrow. Pay yourself. Good morning. I think you heard the news. You mean the disappearance of Thomery? Yes, I know. I guess that when a guy like him disappears, the market takes a hit. Can you explain it to me? I will not give you a political economy course. No. I only want to know: When a guy like that disappears who pays the damages? A lot of people. There are now a lot of bankrupt people on the market. Then who benefits? In other words, who are the people who benefit from his disappearance? Negative financial speculators who want the market to tumble, to buy some stocks for dirt cheap, then sell them anew. But they are worthless! On the contrary. Suppose a financier has anticipated, a few days ago, the disappearance or say, to simplify, the death of Thomery. So the financier sells to the buyers its actions at a firm and final price, but, listen well, available only in 15 days. That way, buyers are forced to buy at full price actions which are worthless. As it is played on many actions, you see the fabulous profits? Effectively, it's a good trick. Ah! I've been looking for you everywhere, my pal! They found Thomery's corpse in the Orsay's glass roof. And Professor Hansen has found again fingerprints belonging to Jacques Dollon. Miss Dollon awaits you in the parlor. But it's really an exception after visiting hours. Can't you remove the handcuffs, please? No, the rules prohibit it. You have five minutes. I'm behind the door. How could you have me arrested? You know I have done nothing. You are safe here. This is the most important thing. I'm frightened all the time. And this is the prison where they killed my brother. Yes, but the assassination of your brother was premeditated. And criminals do not have accomplices in every prison. Finally, you are being closely watched, by order of the judge. You said it yourself: Fantômas is capable of anything. Yes, but less here than elsewhere else. Forgive me, Elizabeth. Forgive me. You lied to the judge. It's called contempt of court. You should be here at my place. But when you're a great journalist... I did it because... I want to know when they will release me. As soon as you are out of danger. Anyway... I love you. Love me? No, you think you do. But you belong to Fantômas. So leave me alone. Happy hunting. Ah! At last. Excuse me, I went to see Elizabeth in jail. How's your love? Bad. She can not forgive me for what I've done. Forget it. Come on, I took the keys. How are those pimping friends of yours? Bad. They begin to distrust me. The Beadle and the Bearded disappeared 48 hours ago and the mother Toulouche, who liked me well, keeps her mouth shut now. They have guessed? Yes, it's possible. I do not see what you think you'll find here. That's what I thought. You can write... "Baroness de Vibray: April 3. Jacques Dollon: JH, ditto. Sonia Danidoff: April 12. B.N.: May 15. Mr F,... Thomery: during May. Bank: May 31." JH, what does that mean? JH... Jail House, of course. The boy died in jail. Sonia Danidoff: April 12. The exact date of the jewels robbery. Yes. B.N.? B.N.: May 15. May 15. It's the date of the train robbery. The gold bars. B.N. is for is Barbey Nanteuil. Mr F? There is no date. That I do not see. Thomery: during May. During May... It is rather late May, because he was assassinated on the 30th. Farewell! Mr F. For god's sake, Fantômas wants to murder me? Yes, but there is no date after your initials, then Fantomas has perhaps considered that your death was not essential. It's still frightens me. I thought you loved the danger? The danger, yes, but executions, no! And finally, Bank: May 31. And we are at May 31. Of course it's the Barbey-Nanteuil bank. Their deposit safes are in danger and also their lives. He will act before midnight. How do we play? I stay behind the scenes, you come into the scene. Fantomas? Please... The people need dreams or nightmares, but not us. It is nonetheless true we are in danger. Gentlemen, would you offer me hospitality until tomorrow? I know your apartments are above the offices. Maybe you still have a room there? I would like to stay in the place during the night. Thank you. Say. Does your servant live here? No, he is married and has children. He goes home. If that's what you want to know, we'll be three in the apartment. Sir? Forgive me. Thank you. Philippe, I no longer need you. You can withdraw. I really doubt something will happen. Individuals who threaten us will surely be wary. I guess that they already know you spend the night here. My presence here won't prevent them from acting. I hope that my room will please you. I'm sure, but... I'm sorry to put you out of your own room. I did rearrange it with great care. That I do not doubt. My partner got the ceiling and floor screwed, very complicated works, because the room, which was in good condition, was not to his taste. It is in a room that one passes half his life, doesn't it? It's late. We will accompany you. I know the way. I insist. If you need something, I'm in the room in front of yours. Thank you. Everything is perfect. - Good evening. - Good evening. What's the matter? What's the matter? Fandor! Open up! Of course, the wires have been cut. What has happened? You're in such a mess! It is impossible for Fantomas to leave this room. I have the same opinion. Who are you? Inspector Juve, police. I thought you were dead! I was such a bore in the next world with my stories of Fantômas, that they sent me back to Earth. You feel better? Okay, okay. I tried to help. And someone hit me on the head. So it's you who entered first? Obviously since my room is the closest to yours. Why do you say that Fantômas has not come out of this room? He was able to leave by the window. The glass is broken. And his mask is hooked. I can assure you that Fantômas did not escape through this window. Why try to deny the obvious? The evidence? You know, sir, that you're in the fourth floor, that there is no ledge or balcony, that unless proven otherwise, nobody saw Fantomas fly. He only smashed the glass to give the change and delude us. If not by the window so how did he get out? In any case, not by the door either. We would have met him coming in. Fantomas could not have escape. Let's be coherent. Where do you believe he's hiding? Guess. Guess? Instead say you know nothing. You made us lose enough time. You would be better looking through the floors. Useless. Fantômas has not left these four walls. This is absolute madness! Mr Nanteuil, would you please do me a service and draw plans of this floor? I can not draw. Do your best. Fine. If you insist... I will prepare the ink and paper, Mr Nanteuil. But what are you doing? Oh! I brought a little snapshot: These prints are identical. And these are the fingerprints of Jacques Dollon. What is this story? This is madness! Mr Juve. This is a journalist's trick! It would be easy to make another print from my finger. You'll see I'm not Jacques Dollon. No need. I saw through your act a second ago. The hand of Jacques Dollon. Beautifully tanned human skin. It has retained its flexibility, and of course, all its features. What a disgrace for the bank. But why did you do that? His motive is money. It all started when Madam de Vibray was driven to suicide. She believed herself ruined. In fact, it was only a manipulation of her stock fomented by Mr Nanteuil. And to say I didn't see anything. It's clear that you didn't call enough your associate to account. After the suicide of the Baroness, Mr Nanteuil, aka Fantomas, transported her corpse to Jacques Dollon's loft. There he put the painter to sleep to set him up as the murderer. Effectively, Jacques is suspected and imprisoned. Then, fearing that the young man manages to exonerate himself, he hangs him in his cell. And he has this diabolical idea: He uses jacques Dollon's hand to commit his crimes with impunity. It's impossible. Defend yourself. Fantômas... in name of the law... I arrest you! Stay calm. "The misfortune of man," said the philosopher, "is that he never knew how to remain at peace in a room." You probably have nails or iron in your shoes. Take them off! Take them off! And disconnect the power. Hurry! The whole piece has been magnetized. There are electromagnets everywhere in the ceiling, walls, under the floor. The battle must continue! Useless. He has disappeared since a long time among all these books. Between the lines. Between the lines? Two students will now perform the last programme ofthe evening Their height is... six feet. They are ex-students of this school. My word, I haven't seen such pranksters. They were vey good friends. And they are even now. Their friendship bears a song. Which they have composed themselves. They have agreed to sing it on my insistence. I hope they find their rhythm. I say this because... one ofthem is a police inspector. And the other a lawyer. "Even if the world..turns an enemy... "Even if the world..turns an enemy... "may our friendship always live on" "Even ifthe world turns an enemy..." "may our friendship always live on" "May our friendship always live on" "Even if the world..turns an enemy... "May our friendship always live on" "Those days of our dreams, those days of our books..." "those nights of questioning, those days of answers" "We have spent many years here together..." "it's here that we played together, and grew up" "Our childhood was so vey romantic..." "may our friendship always live on" "Even ifthe world turns an enemy..." "may our friendship always live on" "Even in death, we shall not separate..." "this much we have sworn to each other in our friendship" "Whenever someone asks us where we live..." "we tell them that we live in each other's hearts" "We have no other abode..." "may our friendship always live on" "Even ifthe world turns an enemy..." "may our friendship always live on" "May our friendship always live on" "Even if the world..turns an enemy... "May our friendship always live on" Has the gold arrived? - Yes. All right. When can we pick it up? Today itself. I am floored! Not exactly, Baby. You're vanquished. What about the money? - Ask Tiwari. He looks aRer the transactions and accounts. All right. But who will come to pick it up? Balwant. At Malighat. Sharp 4 p.m. is that 533285? - Yes. I wish to speak to Inspector Vijay Varma from the special branch. Go on. I am InspectorVerma speaking. A gold consignment is arriving at Malighat at 4 pm. Who is receiving it? - You might be knowing him. Balwant. See you tomorrow evening. Come in. The door is open. Balwant's briefcase contained 500,OOO worth of gold. 100/o is your share. That is 50,OOO. Here... - Keep it there. Won't you count it? -You must have counted it. Any news of Balwant? He's hiding in East View lodge in Kalina. Tony, where do you get this information from? He'll vanish from Bombay for good ifyou don't arrest him today, Halt! There's nothing to panic. Bombay's highly reputed criminal lawyer will fight Balwant's case. I got it, Mr Daaga. Tomorrow is Sunday. He will be bailed out on Monday. Fine. But I think it's difficult to free Balwant from this case. What's the use of my fees if I don't free your man? Rest assured. I'll be prepared for the case. I hear, you and Inspector Vijay are vey good friends. Absolutely true. Our friendship dates back to our childhood. We studied together. I was thinking ifyou could talk... - No. No way, Mr Daaga. Vijay is a police officer. And I am a lawyer. It has happened many times before. He has arrested many criminals, and I have freed them. But our friendship still prevails because he hasn't questioned me about my profession. Nor I have interfered in his work. And... Think ofthe devil, and here he is! We must leave. Where were you all these days? -Right here. Shall we play a set? ARer them.-l have taken one more case ofyours. Balwant's. You arrested him. You are on to it? - Yes. Go ahead. But his chances are grim. - We'll see that in court. Why did you take up this case? -Come on! It's my profession. You know he's a first rate criminal. Still you... lt's not for us to decide if he is guilty or decent. Let the court decided over it. You won't improve. My client Mr Balwant Singh works for Roshan Electricals. On the 15th he was on his way to the bank to deposit 25,OOO in the company's account. He had a licensed revolver for security. He had just got in a cab and inspector Varma ascended. He had a pistol in hand. Your honour, Inspector Varma was in muRi. And you see, one's identification is not inscribed on his face. My client took him for a crook. And he tried to escape. Then Mr Vijay threatened to shoot him. To defend himself Mr Balwant fired at him. It's not true. It is baseless. Because Mr Balwant vey well knows me as a police officer. This is not our first encounter. On the 16th of October I tried to arrest him at Malighat. But he managed to escape. - Wrong again. On the 16th of October, Mr Balwant was lying in the hospital and not in Malighat. He was ill and was bed-ridden. This medical certificate proves it. "Me and you in a locked house" "And the keys not to be found" Hello! Inspector, he... - What times! A decent man like me... ..can't even walk on the streets! - Inspector, the fact is... What is the problem? I was on my way to the beach for a swim. He whistled at me and passed remarks at me. - Lies! I am seriously stressed up myself! You see it, don't you? You proceed. - Nothing else. I've said it all. What happened? -Her complaint is that he teased and whistled at her. -l didn't! Did you whistle? - Actually... Did you whistle, or not? - Yes, I did. But not to her. I swear. - Then why? I am a music buff. I like to fiddle with instruments. He also broke into a song on seeing me. What was that? "Me and you in a locked house" "And..." "And... the keys not to be found" Constable... Lock him up. Tomorrow is court-day. Make sure the keys to the lock-up don't vanish. You can file your complaint. I would like to tell you something. Yes, tell me. It's our duty to arrest and teach a lesson to such third class loafers. And we do it. But, there are some duties ofwomen too. Like what? I don't get it. Just look at yourself. Ifyou roam about in these kind of dresses... ..do you think instead ofwhistles you will hear the temple bell? What's wrong with this dress? - There is hardly any. I've heard, ladies used to fancy their dresses, longtime ago. But nowadays, why have you ladies become so stingy about it? Now look, what I like to wear is my personal matter. I see. Just like the loafer's personal matter was to whistle, right? Any matter which troubles others cannot be personal. But how does this dress trouble others? This question suits the loafer who whistled at you. An_ay, you seem to be a decent girl from a decent family. Ifyou put on some decent dress, then I think it won't trouble anyone. An_ay, it's your wish. Sawant, take down her complaint. What's his name? He just doesn't possess any kind of etiquette. My case is fixed on the 21th. And the witness... Don't talk about the court. This is a pam. Have fun. This is the first time I see you on time. And... Hello, Mr Sahney! Have you met my daughter Sheetal? Hello - Sheetal, he is a famous criminal lawyer. Mr Sahney, please come with me. - Hey, Mr Mehta! I've read about your Nihar murder case in the newspapers. You were just incredible and you won the case. Really? Are you interested in such things? There are many such interesting and sensational cases. Now that we know each other, I'll tell you about it in leisure. What are you doing tomorrow evening? Nothing. Why do you ask? - l have some work with your father. A good reason to meet you too. No place for reasons. You can drop in at any time. I must leave now, Miss Sheetal. So early? - Even I have to work for a living. And this fool had to drop in now, you see. Bye! Sheetal, meet Vijay. And she is my daughter Sheetal. My dear, he is a daredevil police officer. I see? So, he is a police officer? I don't understand one thing, daddy. The crime is on the rise day by day. What does the police do about it? Mr Sahney, our police force and the C.l.D has set an example for the world. But, this fact is known only by few educated people like you and me. Fools and illiterate people just ty to find flaws in it. But we must not take them seriously. What do you think? Am I not right, Miss Sheetal? Perhaps. But Daddy, if our police force is so effective then why doesn't crime cease? Mr Sahney, if not cease, crime can be reduced. But the people must also understand its responsibilities. Suppose you leave your house all open won't it drive the thiefs bad intentions on? Ty telling this to people, and they get furious. Weird talks! You thinks people ale... Come on! Both ofyou have really got deep into it. Go ahead. Throw your questions at me. Else, how will you gain knowledge on this subject. Hey Vijay, you are here? You are wanted there. Me? -Eveyone is requesting you to sing. Are you kidding? A song? From a police officer? - You'll be amazed to hear him. How will he sing in an orchestra? He might need a police-band. Come on! Don't hesitate. - We are getting late. "There was this extremely beautiful young girl..." "walking down the lane, all alone" "She wore clothes, only because she had to dress in something" "She looked as exotic as the sculptures ofthe Ajanta Ellora" "And there came this young man who bumped into her" "You decide this, my friends..." "whose mistake is it? Whom are we to punish?" "You decide this, my friends..." "whose mistake is it? Whom are we to punish?" "That which happened, could not have been averted" "She had stepped out of her house, dressed to kill" "Had someone not eyed her, it would have been his decency..." "had he cast a glance, however, nothing would escape his eyes" "A love-lorn man got blamed for nothing" "You decide this, my friends..." "whose mistake is it? Whom are we to punish?" "You decide this, my friends..." "whose mistake is it? Whom are we to punish?" "Those endowed with good looks, have always been beautiful..." "but they never stepped out on the streets" "They wore different clothes too..." "but they never adopted a new fashion almost evey day" "One fashion leaves, and another takes over..." "so decide this, my friends" "Whose mistake is it? Whom are we to punish?" "You decide this, my friends..." "whose mistake is it? Whom are we to punish?" Tomorrow the gold consignment is arriving at I p.m just 2 miles away from Rethibunder. It's inspector Varma again! This man has become a menace. 8 millions in gold have been seized. Add to it, I have lost mo men. I wonder where he gets this information from. We must find that out, Daaga. - How? Should I ask an astrologer regarding this? But, Daaga... - It's quite simple. Ifyou keep an eye on Vijay Varma, and find out details about people he meets, then it is possible to identify his informer. Did you read the news about your friend? He risked his life in a dangerous chase and seized 8 millions in gold. This kind of daredevily is his forte. My friend is a incredible police officer! He is an incredible police officer. And you are a remarkable lawyer. The only difference is that he catches criminals... and I free them. Doesn't any misunderstanding arise bemeen you mo friends on this regard? -No way. No chance. We don't mix our friendship with our profession. I can give my life for him. Ifyou mo are such friends, please include me in your list too. Who doesn't need a good friend? Madam, I have written your name in my list at first sight. I must entertain you well. How about one more coffee? No, thanks. I must say something. Our friendship seems to be a one way traffic. ARer that pam I have come a dozen times over to your house. But you haven't set your foot in my humble home. Not even once. There's nothing as such. Someday I will certainly set my foot at your celestial abode. Thank you vey much! I want to speak to Mr Vijay. Speaking. Who is it? Yes, Miss Sheetal? What makes you remember me? Did someone flirt with you again? No, nothing as such. I read in the papers about your chase with the smugglers. Did you read it? They have glorified you. I thought of congratulating you. And I called you up. Oh I see. Now I get it. I wondered why'd a pampered rich girl phone a pem police officer. But someone said it right, that today's girls are impressed by famous people. You must've already boasted to eveyone that you know me vey well. You must be getting a lot of attention, don't you? What? What do you think of me? My mistake to call you up! What do you think ofyourself? A pem police officer. What's the matter? You seem to be short-tempered. You think you've earned international fame with a piece ofyour exploits in the papers? You think I called you because I am impressed by your fame? Ifthis is not the reason...then there is only one reason leR. And that reason you and I know vey well. I'll definitely give it a thought. Have seen yourself in the mirror? I am afraid... yes. While shaving today morning. Actually, my face is vey expressive. Especially my eyes. They attract. Simply great! I deeply regret to have called you. I won't make this mistake again! A lady has come to see you. All right, come Didn't I say I'd drop in someday? And here I am. You did say. But I never expected you. I don't know how to welcome you. Anybody there? Yes, sir? What would you have? Hot or cold? Any cold drink. - Two cold drinks.- l will bring now, sir. How is your father? is that Mr Vijay's photograph? - Yes. He is my only friend. Which is why I have kept his photograph. But the walls in this room are still empty. Why don't you fill it up with some good photographs? Shall I ? Yes, Mr Daaga? What's up? Don't you wory. What am I here for? So what ifyour men are guilty of murder? I am there to save them. See this bungalow! How beautiful it is! You like it? I haven't seen such a lovely house in my life. This is the world's most beautiful house. Feels like it is not on the ground, but somewhere in the clouds. I feel like... Believe me, Mr Ravi, you won't find a better building contractor than myself in the whole of Bombay. All right. You go with my secretay and check out my vacant plot at Juhu. And build a house for me. Exactly like this. How long will it take to build it? - Say around 6 months. Make it as soon as possible. Don't wory about the money. Ifthat's the case, I'll show you better designs than this. I just want this design, Mr. Malkhani. Because this is the world's most beautiful home. Feels like it is not on the ground, but somewhere in the clouds. I get it, Mr Ravi. You are strange! Where are you? Can't even get to see you at the Gym. Nothing as such. - Who was he? An architect. Why? What for? I am building a house. - A house? What's wrong with this? I have travelled much. Now I plan to mary and settle down. Good idea. Have you seen any girl? - No, I haven't yet. But I will. I see. You hide from me? Tell me, who is she? Hey, there's nobody. Don't wory about me, big daddy. Find a good girl for yourself and settle down. I did like a girl. Butthings didn'twork out. Come on, you are good at it. But I am no good. I get a bit nervous. - So what? I'll speak for you. - First, speak for yourself. Sheetal, these flowers are rosy in colour like you. But you are looking more red in your anger now. Yes, I'm Vijay here. I was waiting for your call. Really? So, you were sure I'd call you, were you? Of course. I have seen a lot of cases like this. Tell me... How are you? May I ask you why you sent me these flowers? Just to get a call from you. And just why did you expect a call from me? Just because I want to meet you. And why so? You see, Miss Sheetal, there are many reasons for this. It so happened that... ltjust crossed my mind that, I thought you'd understand what I understood. But you couldn't understand it either. And you thought I understood what you were tying to make me understand. This misunderstanding has created a bit of confusion. And ifyou see through, we are stuck in a strange whirlwind. Whirlwind! What whirlwind? I don't get what you say. Exactly. This is the confusion. And to get out of it we must meet rightaway. And ifwe put our heads together, Miss Sheetal we can easily get out ofthis confusion... gradually. ARer that evemhing will be all right. And then... it will be all bed of roses! But this outcome won't come byjust sitting at home. We must meet, and keep meeting. But I don't want to meet you. Since when have you started lying? An_ay, dump these odd talks. They are unyielding. I am free tomorrow. Why don't we make it tomorrow then? That's final. I'll see you at Golden Chariot tomorrow. I don't want to meet you. -See you at 4 in the evening. Keep waiting. I won't come. No way. I had said I wasn't coming. Then why did you expect me? Be seated. Come on out with it. Quick. I can't wait for long. Right kind of mood to have a cold drink. What would you have? Limca, thumsup, or orange... You want to tell me something? - Sory...? Oh... yes, I want to tell you something. You see, Miss Sheetal, I want to clear something with you. So that there won't be any misunderstanding in future. Ifyou think, I am just putting on a show, but I love you vey much... lfyou think so, then let me tell you that you are right. But... I never thought that... Look Sheetal, don't tell me that you don't like me or love me. I am a police officer. I promptly catch a person who tells a lie. If I am not wrong... did you say you love me? But you are behaving as ifyou are giving me a speeding ticket. Surely there are other ways too to express your love? Indeed. But they are worn out and outdated. So I thought I'd ty a new style. To help me succeed. Vijay, ifyou think you'll succeed because ofthe novelty then you are right. "A sense of fun fanned the fires..." "there rose a bit of smoke, and the flames leapt up" "Our friendship has blossomed into love" "A sense of fun fanned the fires..." "there rose a bit of smoke, and the flames leapt up" "Our friendship has blossomed into love" "We rarely met earlier. Then we saw so much of each other..." "in that one meeting however, in a light hearted moment..." "l wonder what you said..." "l wonder what I heard..." "l wonder what you said..." "l wonder what I heard..." "you were only cracking a joke and it almost killed me" "Our friendship has blossomed into love" "A sense of fun fanned the fires..." "there rose a bit of smoke, and the flames leapt up" "ln the coming oftogether ofmo hearts..." "in the pla_ulness of our eyes..." "my heart was pounding, it could be heard far away" "ls this killing to be forgiven? Is this anyjustice?" "lt was doing ofthe eyes and it was the heart that was targetted" "Our friendship has blossomed into love" "A sense of fun fanned the fires..." "there rose a bit of smoke, and the flames leapt up" "Our friendship has blossomed into love" "A sense of fun fanned the fires..." "there rose a bit of smoke, and the flames leapt up" "Our friendship has blossomed into love" What brings you here? - l came to buy some things. Their men are keeping a watch on you. They are tailing you. One ofthem is watching you even now. They want to know who is your informer. Any information? - Yes. At 4 pm today, near Bombay Central their man Prakash is delivering one million in gold to someone. His car number is MRX 4060. Sylvia, he alone is poised to win this year's derby. I'm sory Mr Daaga, Prakash couldn't deliver your gold to the right man. Prakash? Who Prakash? I found your telephone number and address on him. Are you talking about the Prakash who fell to death from a train? Yes, I remember. I read about him in the newspapers. I am delighted to hear that you read newspapers. But why did he keep my telephone number and address? He could have told you. Your misfortune. He is dead. The news of his death was a false news spread by us to cheat you. He isn't dead. He's alive and kicking. He is alive? And he has testified in the hospital itself. Don't you fret, Mr Daaga. Prakash is dead. I just wanted to see the change in colour ofyour face. These things are trivial, Inspector. The court asks for evidence. And as long as the police doesn't find any evidence against us it can't even shake us. Little mouths don't open in front of elders. Understand? Inspector Vijay, you have insulted my man. I can sue you for this in Court. Well, Mr Daaga, you will have to produce evidence for this smack. How can I help you in this matter? Vijay is a close friend ofyours. He is. But he is a responsible police officer. I can't interfere in this matter. And what do you think? Will he let you go scot-free if I tell him? That I am his friend, doesn't mean that I have bought him out. Ifyou haven't done it yet, do it now. I am with you. Meaning? Here's 1 ,OOO,OOO in this bag. Tell me ifyou think the price is less. There is no price for Vijay. My friend is priceless. You can't buy his honesty. Not even for 10 million. My friend is a man of principles. Amazing! He is the first lawyer I have seen in my life whose hobby is to fly an airplane. Flying isn'tjust an hobby for Ravi. It is his life's first romance. His first love. Tell me something. - Go ahead. Even you must have had a first love, hadn't you? Yes. I did have a girlfriend. But why do you ask? Just nothing. Was she in your college? -Oh yes. In college...in my class. What was her name? The name was... Meenakshi. Meenakshi Chatterjee. Eveyone used to call her her as Meena with love Did you call her that too? - No. In college I was a shyster. I was scared to talk to girls. But this girl was vey... An_ay, forget it. What use digging up the past? Exactly. No use. Was she beautiful? Yes, she was nice. Roundish face. Large eyes. Long tresses. Now that you mention her, I think she was quite exotic. And so you fell for her? - Who, me? Forget it. At the beginning I never used to look at her. But one day something strange happened, and... Forget it. Why dig up the past? - Right. No use. So you were saying... what happened that day? What day... yes, that day ...it so happened... ARer college, I find only Meenakshi standing at the bus-stop. I didn't mind her. Like me she must've come to catch a bus. There was a silence. All of sudden she.said, "Excuse me' I said, yes please? She said, "My watch isn't working. Could you tell me the time?" I know. This is an outdated idea to start a conversation. Quite possible her watch must have stopped working. You are unnecessarily suspecting her. - No need to advocate for her. What happened next? - What else? I told her the time. Again there was a silence. There was no sign ofthe bus. I decided to walk. I had just put a step ahead and she said... "Listen". -l said, yes, tell me. She said, "You are leaving me alone over here" "l am scared to be alone. Can you drop me home?" Why? Was the bus-stop in a forest? -Not exactly. But she was afraid. I told her to come along. Then we started walking. I felt like the poor thing was a bit tired. You know there are benches on the footpath, don't you? I told her to sit down for a few moments. She sat down. Then I saw that she was staring at me. I asked Meena whatthe matter was. You know what she said? She said, "Vijay are you cross with me? I said, come on, why would I be angy with you? Why do you think like this, Meena? She said, "Vijay, why do you always remain far from me? "You never even give me a look" And then when I gave her a look, do you know what I saw, Sheetal? I saw mo large drops oftears in her large eyes. That moment I realised that this girl loves me from within her heart. She considers me to be her god. I said... Meena don't, I can't bear to see tears in your eyes. For my sake wipe it. Please! Excuse me. This isn't your Meena's arm. You won't be doing the Lindy overnight... but with proper care, that leg will be 1 00%. Why is there a bandage on my hand? What's wrong with it? When you consider that boys come through here every day... and lose their sight, limbs, even their lives-- What happened to my hand? Well, you have some nerve and tendon damage. Fortunately, there will be only slightly diminished use of three fingers. - They'll look perfectly normal. - What do you mean, "slightly diminished"? There will be a certain loss of dexterity. - For how long? - Afraid it'll be permanent. - Oh, my God. - But your leg will be fine-- I don't care about my leg. - Damn it. - I don't understand. My legs are nothing. These are my life. I play the piano. I'm a concert pianist. A pianist? Well, any helpful suggestions? Well, this one is interesting, but I'm afraid... burning down the entire camp would be impractical. First Annual Naked Day shows promise. We're working on that. [ Chuckles ] I see. Oh. Uh, how did your Simon Says tournament turn out? - Oh, great. B.J. won. I came in second. - Nobody else showed up. Evening, Captains Heckle and Jeckle. I'd have been here sooner, but I stopped to watch the dancing in the streets. Well, after just two days, what did you expect? Miracles? I expected a big goose egg. But you two haven't even done that good. These folks expected a lot from you. And getting let down is worse than having no hope in the first place. Oh, now, Colonel, I don't think it's as bad as all that. Right! Everything is under control. Listen, you two. Where are the cosmetics I asked for? My nurses are human beings, you know? They have needs. But you don't seem to care. Who cares about a bunch of nurses powdering their noses? When are we gonna get those new movies you promised, huh? - [ All Clamoring ] - Patience, everybody. Patience. At this very moment, an emissary is tracking down one of Hollywood's finest. - Oh, yeah. Sure. - Here comes Mr. Show Business now. Any luck, "Shobe"? So far, the only nibble is a movie called Terror in the Tiny Town. It's a Western with an all-midget cast. - Oh, great. What do we do, show it on a pillowcase? - With selected tall subjects. I'm serious. It's a real movie. You guys stink. Who wants to see a shrimp cowboy? [ All Clamoring ] You want a morale problem? What about mine? - The food in this place is disgusting, right? - [ All ] Right! - Well, I don't cook it, right? - Right! But who has to stand over this slop every day... and listen to everybody's gripes and dumb jokes about it? - Who? - Me! Well, I've had it! If you don't like the swill here, talk to the cook! - Where's the cook? - Eating at Rosie's! [ All Chanting ] Kill the cook. Kill the cook! Kill the cook! See what you've done? Father, you'd better talk to them. - Not without a whip and a chair. - I don't blame you. This place is a cat's whisker from loco. - [ Chanting Continues ] - I'll take care of this. Okay, hold it. Hold it down! Hold it down, everybody! I was hoping we could keep this a secret, but I guess now's the time to tell you. [ Clamoring ] My associate and I have been planning a big surprise dinner party for tomorrow night. Oh, yeah? What kind of a party? That's the surprise. But I guarantee you... it will be spectacularly unforgettable. Well it better be! It better be! What kind of a lamebrain scheme are you two hatching? - Oh-ho, Colonel, that would spoil the surprise. - Let's go, Beej. This I gotta see. Don't forget-- unforgettable. - You don't have a thing in mind, do you? - Even less than that. David? - What time is it? - It's very late. David, I'm sorry to awaken you, but... I feel that we need to talk. Doctor, we have talked. How many times do you need to come here? I've told you I don't blame you for what happened, but that doesn't give me my hand back. Whether you blame me or not makes no difference. It's you, David. You see no future for yourself, and that gnaws at me. Your concern is admirable... but there must be better ways for you to spend your time, because I don't give a damn. You have a very special gift. Had, Doctor. Had. I'm very tired. Good night. You know, you're being much too harsh on yourself. You mustn't think that you failed. But I have. The boy's a graduate ofJuilliard. He just embarked on a promising career. I reach out to him... but no matter what I do, I cannot get through. - That's not your fault. - Oh, isn't it? We both know that there are other doctors here more able to... show compassion, provide comfort. I have no magic words. I work my wonders on flesh and bone. I perform no... miracle surgery on the soul. That's-That's your department. Major, I know how difficult it was for you to come here. It's obvious that you care a great deal. - Of course I care. - Then you must not give up. There's no one here with a greater love or-or knowledge of music. And that's the key. You must show him... that his musical career is not over. You can't let him waste that precious talent that God has given him. Thank you, Father. "Big surprise dinner party." "Spectacularly unforgettable." Did you ever consider renting your mouth out to the motor pool as a garage? Beej, if we don't come up with something soon... we're gonna be modeling the latest in tar-and-feather wear. - Let's attack this rationally. - I'd rather attack you irrationally. Come on. Think back. You remember some special dinner party you once went to? Sure. Lucia Murphy's 1 4th birthday. We played spin the bottle and sent out for Chinese food. Now, there's a nice touch of home. Dinner just like Mao used to make. Hawk, admit it. No matter what kind of spectacular food we come up with... as soon as it hits those tin trays on those crummy tables in that rotten tent... it's still gonna be a mess. So we won't have it in the tent. What can we eat outside? - Dirt. - No! A picnic! We'll have a cookout. Wait a minute. Wait a- - W-W-Wait! I just got a great idea that will save us from a lifetime of death. - You're gonna take us all out for American food? - Close, but wrong. We'll bring America here. We'll have a beach party. Big fire, blankets, singing. Huge, boiling kettle full of lobsters, crabs, clams, whatever they've got. Hawkeye, I don't see a whole lot of lifeguards around here. Yeah, well you would if this was Inchon. And where's there sea, there's gotta be seafood, Mama. Hah! What do you think? What do you think? Does that sound fantastic? - That really sounds stupid. - But is it possible? - Of course. The stupid is always possible. - Great. Can you leave right away? Me? You want me to drive halfway across Korea... on treacherous roads over hostile terrain? I don't want my Purple Heart to read, "He gave his life for crabs." Klinger, the future of the whole camp depends on this. - Not to mention our lives. - Aha! Your wanting me in the driver's seat certainly puts me in the driver's seat... for, say, a three-day pass? - Thief! - "Thief" is such an ugly word. Shall we say "entrepreneur"? Sign here, Prince. I'll fill in the date after I decide on one. This is blackmail, and I won't stand for it. Klinger, Colonel Potter tells me you're going down to Seoul for him. Son of a gun. Now that you mention it-- - You were planning on going to Seoul the whole time! - It's only an inch from Inchon. You sneak! You stole three days from us. "Stole" is such an ugly word. Shall we say, "creatively acquired"? Klinger, this is a list of pieces of music. The military library in Seoul should have at least some of them. Please get them for me, will you? Thank you. Gentlemen. - That's the most fun he's been in two days. - Get back as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you. Hey! Hey, Captain Cook, what about the big dinner party? - You better be quick, or your goose is cooked. - Yeah, you bums, you! You guys are all talk and no food! The natives are hungry tonight. Listen to the pounding of those gums. If Klinger doesn't get here soon, we're gonna be the featured danglers at a lynching. What do you say we go see Colonel Potter, find out if he's heard from him? - Yeah, let's keep low. Maybe they won't notice us. - Yeah. [ All Clamoring ] - Coast is clear. - Good. - Where are the movies? - They're getting away. - Somebody get a rope! - Let's season 'em! - Have we crossed into enemy territory? - I hope so. - Where the hell is Klinger? - At last. A friendly face. I knew this would happen. Klinger would be back with our cosmetics by now... if you hadn't sent him off on a wild-fish chase! You've completely destroyed the morale in this camp. Let me know if that crowd gets out of control so I can go out there and egg 'em on. - I take it you haven't heard from Klinger. - No, but I'm sure... we'll get a postcard from Toledo any day now. Oh, come on, Colonel. Just 'cause he's a little late? You call it late. I call it permanently skedaddled. How could you three-day suckers give Klinger a blank pass? That's like the warden asking Willie Sutton to lock up the hoosegow. - Colonel, you're just jumping to conclusions. - Well,jump on this. He took his footlocker with him. Ayear's change of duds to go with his change of scenery. - You dopes! - You idiots! [ Horn Honking ] - [ All Cheering ] - [ Hawkeye ] What took you so long? Please, please. An artiste cannot be rushed. - There you go, sir. - Ah! Treat this with care. It's loaded with live crabs. Shh. I told 'em I was taking 'em to the circus. Why'd you take your footlocker? What's a beach party without beach? [ Chuckling ] - ? [ Lively ] - [ All Chattering ] What a terrific idea! These crabs are delicious. Sure are. And the best part's right here... inside the little first baseman's mitt. You two are lucky Klinger came through... or you'd be skinny-dipping in that kettle. Oh, you're right. Underestimating Klinger's become a national pastime. Thank you, sirs. Hate to eat and run. But I've got to pack for three days... and a fun-filled trip in Seoul. Okay, I've had some fresh air. Can we go back now? No, not quite yet. Thank you very much. Thank you. What are we doing here, Doctor? I don't want a drink. Good. Because you're not gonna get one. What the hell is this all about? Please, David. - I'm sure you've heard of these. - Huh? Pieces for the left hand. Of course I've heard of them. What are you suggesting now? That I make a career out of a few freak pieces written for one hand? Not at all. I won't make any pretense about your physical ability to play concerts. Not my point. - Are you familiar with the story behind the Ravel? - No, and I don't really-- It was written for an Austrian concert pianist named Paul Wittgenstein. He lost his right arm during the First World War. He embarked on a long search to commission piano works... for the left hand alone. Composer after composer turned him down, but he refused to give up. Finally, he found Ravel... who, like him, was willing to accept this great challenge. Don't you see? Your hand may be stilled... but your gift cannot be silenced if you refuse to let it be. "Gift"? You keep talking about this damn gift. I had a gift, and I exchanged it for some mortar fragments, remember? Wrong. Because the gift does not lie in your hands. I have hands, David. Hands that can make a scalpel sing. More than anything in my life... I wanted to play... but I do not have the gift. I can play the notes... but I cannot make the music. You've performed Liszt... Rachmaninoff, Chopin. Even if you never do so again, you've already known a joy... that I will never know as long as I live. Because the true gift... is in your head... and in your heart and in your soul. Now,you can shut it off forever... or you can find new ways to share your gift with the world-- through the baton, the classroom, the pen. As to these works... they're for you... because you and the piano will always be as one. [ Chattering, Indistinct ] [ Both Laughing ] Ohh! Here's the hermit crab. Ah, gentlemen. From the sounds of this evening's revelries, your soiree was eminently successful. - My congratulations. - Oh, thank you. The man is positively aglow. We must be better at "morale-ing" than we thought, Hawk. Major Giggles here wasn't even at the party, and we cheered him up by remote control. Hey, Beej, I got a great way to end the war. We shell North Korea with crabs. No kidding, Charles. You missed some good food and a great time. Thank you, gentlemen, but you need not concern yourselves. I'm doing just fine, thank you. Each of us must dance to his own tune. Gentlemen, this way please! Xiao Si, attend to the customers! My lord, have a drink Hurry up, Xiao Si! Coming, coming! Gentlemen, please take a seat! Very Good! Master, you're very skillful! Why are you still here? Didn't they tell you to get off? Y es! Y es! You three are very punctual Jin Tianyun, the three of us... have nothing to do with you Why do you call us here? Because I can't stand to see... Murderers and rapists So you want to be a hero? I just want to give you a little punishment T o chop off all your right hands So that in future you'll behave properly T o the hero, I raise a toast! No! Drink it first! Stop! Are you okay? Y es, yes! It's funny Huang, you're really something! Go! Don't let him run away! Chase I'm coming! Again! You okay? You jerk! Big brother! What happened? It's him! Nothing, nothing, it's a mistake! Mistake? I think you did intend to touch her No wonder wet nurse said you're always hungry Don't regard Sister as your wet nurse You jerk, when dad comes home See if you can still live! No, I won't dare next time! Maybe I'll let you touch me and we can get even! You deserve it He teases you! Huh, does that amuse you? Blockhead, I guess you need a good beating How dare you tease your brother? Brother! Big Brother That blockhead didn't respect me Don't you think he deserves a good beat? Forget it and continue practicing Otherwise Master will blame us when he returns What are you looking at? Want a good beat? Gao Jian! He pretends not to hear you! Gao Jian! What's the matter? Bring me two stone weights! You can get it yourself I'm your elder, you should do atleast obey That's right, get it quick! What a chicken! And he wants to learn martial arts He is good in bed. Hurry up! Hurry up! Quick! Gao Jian, kneel down! Master Gao Jian, I took pity on you as a young orphan That's why I kept you here to learn martial arts But you're not behaving well, causing trouble And have no respect for your elders! If you don't want to stay here, you can go! Master, it's not my fault 2nd and 3rd Brother have ill treated me And in turn, falsely accused me as the villain! Master, don't listen to him! He hurt us on purpose Brother's wound can get serious if we wait longer Master, it hurts so much! Shut up! Dad Let me check That's not your business! What's the first rule of our school? T roublemaker and treacherous fighters Will be punished severely! A crab and claws eight A head of this shape A wink and a shrink Hooray as it came! Good brother, drink together A four, a five and a six Drink till you're sick! I'll drink. I've never hesitated for a drink Roasted chicken wing My all time favorite! And roasted pigeon? It's just amazing! That blockhead Where is he? He is exhausted! It's good to drink wine. The blockhead is here What are you doing? What do you want? Want to collect our bones? Shut up! A horse stance! Master said I can go when the incense finishes Now it's all burnt down! Burnt down? Not yet! Look carefully Be patient, kid. Want to go? Horse stance! Want to sleep? Horse stance Keep on horse stance! I've been in stance for the whole night I'm so out of shape, food doesn't matter now I'm so tired! Mr. Ghost, I'm not the one that killed you! I've nothing to do with you Please, no! Master! Master! Master! Forget it! If I inform Master now He'll blame me all the same What should I do? How dare you, you're still alive You've scared me so much! Where's Gao Jian? Didn't see him Master, I'll get him! Shut up and go! Gao Jian! What are you doing? Nothing. A while back I carelessly... bumped into 2nd Brother You know the time now? Lazy boy, go and practice! Master, have you heard of someone by the name Jin Tianyun? Why did you ask about him? Nothing, it's just that I've heard about How amazing Jin Tianyun's technique is He is pretty skillful A pity that he didn't come from a decent school Just in case you run into him in future You better turn away Master, will you turn away... If you run into him? Nonsense! Gao Jian, if you'd rather leave us I'll make it easy for you! Master, you got me wrong Got you wrong? Master, this blockhead... didn't really want to learn martial arts He just wants a place to stay And have three meals a day 3rd Brother, can you shut up! What's wrong with that? Master, the stance you taught us a few days ago Is it like this? 2nd Brother Oh, it hurts! You bloody fool Dad, 3rd Brother beats Gao Jian! What's the first rule of our school? T roublemaker and treacherous fighters Will be punished severely! Someone has got a pig's foot to sell Someone has got a ghost story to tell Someone has no voice yet wants to yell Someone standing on a bench, shivering like hell Who over there could be so ecstatic? I'll feed you to a dog if I get hold of ya Wow, don't be so cruel! It must be hard on you T alking wastes energy! Be careful! You're out of breath Mind you don't get a bad breath! I'm now holding my breath Save your breath. I did that on purpose So that Master will punish you And I can release my long held breath! Oh! I'm sorry! I've stepped on your injured foot! Help! Quick, go practice after dinner Hey, sharing is a virtue This is a world of efficiency Only those fast enough can live, stupid! Y es! Come, take some soup! Your leftover! We've tasted every bone! Now you can have the most original taste! Brother Jin, you must be hungry T ake this first I don't feel like eating I'm sorry, I did want to bring you some food But all those nasty brothers, they were so fast in clearing up all dishes, leaving you only this This one is untouched! I really don't feel like eating You're deeply hurt and haven't eaten for days Your stomach will hurt. Come, for my sake T ake this bowl of rice, come! I'll get you some tea Your brothers fight for food? They say this is a world of efficiency Only those fast enough can live! You must be the slow one! I'm the junior, they always bully me Every meal I only have rice with soup, no food It's better than what I have now! So original! Y es, that's called the original taste Rice has it's own taste! Isn't it? My Master said... your Kung Fu technique is stunning But... What? Seems like he doesn't like you Who is your Master? Shi Zhengzong. Have you heard about him? He was nicknamed Thunderstorm He has good technique and holds high acclaim Thunderstorm? Think I lied to you? If he has good technique n' all that... how did I break his bones three years ago? You've beaten him up? I despise these hypocrites who call themselves The decent school of martial arts All they know is vanity! Don't worry, I won't beat you up Because we are good brothers! Of course! Brother Jin, are you okay? T omorrow get me some medicine Tianqi and Baiyao 1 0 grams of Tianqi and 50 grams of Baiyao Please get it from somewhere else! Why? I've got money? Get it quick! Tianqi, Baiyao Do you need them for cuts? Hey, don't you want to do business? What are you doing? T ell me quick, do you need them for cuts? It's not your concern I'll cut your head off if you don't tell me! Okay, okay, I'll tell you. Mind your blade I want it for my Master. He's wounded Who's your Master? Is it Thunderstorm? Shi Zhengzong Hey man, let go of me! How did your Master get hurt? My Master is so unfortunate While he was asleep... Someone covered with blood suddenly came in Blood? Y es, he was stabbed here He knew martial arts Have you heard of anyone who was stabbed here and didn't die? Who is that man? My friend, why're you so rude? Release me first Oh, my waist! T ell me quick! Y es, yes! That man was covered by blood But he could still survive! My Master asked him what happened And he tried to chop him up I sensed something was wrong so I kicked him Go on, speak Okay, it so happened that I kicked him Right on where the knife was stabbed The knife plunged in two more inches He gave out a loud cry! T urned away and ran. I followed him He kept on running, and I kept on chasing T o where? I was after him for more than a mile Then he got on a horse and went east And you lost him? Y es, it's all true Every word is so true! Boss! The one you met at the pharmacy is Fan San He's one of the Three Devils. Very bad tempered Very skillful with his duel blades His way of sword is mean and nasty! The second one is Zhou Sanzhao, a womanizer Very good with dart and secret weapons Never misses a target! The leader of the three is Y an Qingwang Ruthless and insidious, most skillful of the three His Leopard boxing is marvelous, his plait can kill They're the parasites of the martial arts field One of these days... I'll use their heads as footballs Brother Jin, you mentioned that 3 years ago You've broken my Master's rib bones Is it true? You can ask him yourself According to my Master's way of boxing There're 3 stances that can protect the chest How did you break his rib bones? Which three stances? Okay, look carefully! Hanging high as a star. Flying light as butterfly Kicking hard as the top star. How's that? What? Isn't that right? You're okay, but, not good enough! Not good enough? You know these 3 stances have turned me into a strong man, look! If so, why don't you work in the fields? You think I'm an ox? Ox? Well, you aren't as big as that! What then, you mean I'm puny? I can see that you're like a Mongol doctor Sick or not sick as he wishes. Lemme show you Come! Okay Like Mongol doctor I'll give you a body check I'm coming! Left punch! Right punch! Wah! Really fierce I mean, that's nothing Want to know how I defeated you? Of course! Then come again! Hanging high as a star! And the second one? Flying light as a butterfly Kicking hard as the top star! Shi Zhengzong has led the young one astray Even if you study with him all your life All you'll learn is fancy boxing somekicks Brother Jin, can I learn from you? You want to betray your school? Not really. Betraying one's own school is a serious violation in martial arts I don't want to be called a traitor! You do have a character Character? If I had that... I won't stay under their roof and be bullied! You really wish to learn from me, huh? Of course, but then I don't want to be a traitor That's easy. I'll teach you discreetly Nobody will know Brother Jin, when can we start? Starting from tomorrow T omorrow I'll show you what real martial arts is Boxing has four types Fist, Palm, Claw and Hook. These are founded on Four bases : kick, strike, wrestle and hold There're 3 don'ts when practicing boxing Don't act on impulse, don't rush, don't be vain Impulsive will break the energy; Vanity will loosen the energy By being hasty you'll have a sloppy potential Boxing is also about coordination of... the eye, the body and the hand Speed is critical ; especially the eyes In Chinese boxing there are some ambiguous elements One must learn to balance them... and thereby testing your opponent You have to know all that to win What I'm showing you now is close range At the time of actual wrestling... Gather your power and attack at short range It is indeed very powerful! That's the so called Extreme fist, very agile Can you do that? Exactly copy? Sorry! Watch me Sometimes even tofu can make one choke T ake your time! If it was simple, everyone could be a Master You broke it? Y es, my head! Did you find Jin Tianyun? Couldn't find anywhere Chief, you think he has left this Phoenix town? That's impossible. He's wounded. Can't go far Keep on searching! Brother Jin, how's that? Not bad? Very powerful, right? It's actually more than that It's extremely powerful from top to toe! See, it's more broken than a broken body! Don't be so proud T o learn about the essence of close range You've to practice hard How? I'll tell you later! Have you learnt the rules of sword by heart? Getting' there. I've been studying whole night Starting tomorrow, I'll teach you the way of sword Sword is listed the top of all short weapons It has two blades and a ridge in the middle The blade will break if hit by hard material The essence of sword is at the edge So all attention is being put there The art of sword is also based on that The perfect use of sword hilt Is not only an art by itself But can also be used to confuse the enemy's vision It helps in your attack Brother Jin, how come these tiles are so hard to break? Because you're not concentrating enough Just watch! First clear your mind, and concentrate Brother Jin, you're amazing! Remember, more haste makes for less speed otherwise it could cause you injury and can turn you into a moron Thanks for your teaching! Brother Jin, you haven't recovered yet And we ran out of money, what should we do? Don't worry, the fortune teller said I can live up to ninety years Is it true? How do I know? You can ask him yourself But he is blind! What? Blind? He told your fortune in darkness? I think you should get into your room first I'll get money from Master to get you medicine Hey, Gao! What? Jin Tianyun is dead? Y es, I heard he was killed by the Three Devils These Three Devils are pure evils Ever since they killed him their morale is boosted Don't know why they have stayed here the past few months? What's more, a few days ago they have beaten up Master Qin's apprentices for no reason at all! Nonsense! If they keep on causing trouble I'll teach them a good lesson! That's why we are here We hope you could ensure that justice is done Y es! The three of them are very skillful Master, what should we do? Should we hire some more men to help? In order to eradicate these kind of dregs Maybe it's good to have some more men Do you know where the three of them... used to stay? We're not sure about that, but we've heard... Zhou Sanzhao spent all the money he'd robbed at Yihong Brothel. He went there every night The money was spent fast as flowing water! Yihong Brothel? I must get that ill-gotten money Have some tea! My lord, aren't you wasting this good wine? What a pity? Not at all! Nothing like Chinese dates soaked in wine It's like paradise! Such a big man and he's still sucking breasts Looks like it's so pleasurable Heavenly! Look at the way he waggles his tongue This is so embarrassing What's so embarrassing about that? Don't come if you're broke This is so wonderful! Master Zhou, you've had your pleasure! Let's play the money game, how's that? Good! Come! Come! All of you! Let's get everybody out! These are all for you! Coming! Coming! Only those fast enough will get reward! Let's start the game! You can have it if you get it If you drop it, it's not yours! You dropped it! Stupid! Next! You better catch them for me! What are you doing here! Line up! Go! Line up! Line up! Shut up! You're all useless! I'm so mad! Next! Put down your hands! It's so embarrassing! Like a piece of cardboard? Looks like she hasn't had enough nutrition Even though it's a bit flat, but on a closer look It's actually not bad. Throw at her, it's funny! Really? Thanks, Master Zhou! Master Zhou, keep on playing! Thanks Master Zhou, thank you! She got it again, throw at her, quick! Master Zhou, come on! Stop! Get off! Get off! Are you blind! Sorry, sorry! Open the door! Boss! Open the door! What're you doing here in the middle of night You want to break into my shop? I'm sorry, boss, I need 1 0 grams of Tianqi 50 grams of Baiyao, also... Are you mad? You know what time it is? Come again tomorrow! Please help. It's a matter of life and death What does it have to do with me! I need to sleep! You can't sleep, boss! Asshole, no sympathy at all All you want is sleep! Think you can sleep no more? What are you looking at? Get off! Asshole I'll make it hard for you to sleep! Sleep! I'll let you sleep! Son of a bitch! Sleep! Since you like to sleep! Damn it Sleep! I'll let you sleep! What are you doing? The gold is mine It has the word "San" engraved on it Doesn't this belong to Zhou Sanzhao? So you know Zhou Sanzhao? Don't get me wrong, I didn't steal it Zhou Sanzhao gave it to me on his own accord Gave it to you? It's true, you don't believe me? Grab him Hey, don't move! You really want to fight? Kid, you do know some kung fu! This kid must be the apprentice of Zhou Sanzhao We'll take him to Thunderstorm! Wait, Thunderstorm is my Master! How come he has an apprentice like you? Who's that? Who are you looking for? Master Shi Master! Help! Get me out! Master Shi We've got hold of Zhou's apprentice We'll let you handle this Good! This bastard, let me question him! T ake a seat, Master! Help! let me out! Master, it's me! It's Gao Jian! Gao Jian, what happened? Master, I...they... What exactly has happened? Master, these three assholes I told them I'm your apprentice, they ignored me Look at you. What do you look like now? Master, I think he looks like a lily You all think so? Shut up! Shut up! Master Shi, we found on your apprentice Zhou Sanzhao's silver ingot This is indeed strange We hope you can clear things up for us! The silver ingot is engraved with the word "San" Y es, "San"! San is on it! Y es Where did you get it? Zhou Sanzhao gave it to me What? Zhou Sanzhao is the most notorious murderer How will he gave you money? That's right! He didn't really give it to me, I... Master, he's lying again Y es! He's lying again! Where did you get the money? Gao Jian, tell dad the truth! Quick, otherwise Master will punish you! Zhou Sanzhao threw money... at the prostitutes So I dressed up as a woman and got his money Dressed up as a prostitute? Good idea! Y es, yes, he does look like a woman! Your apprentice is smart, he has a bright future Enough is enough! Just now it's me against you all Now my Master is here, let's fight if you dare Gao Jian Not bad! That's my Master's teaching! Dad! You want to drive me mad? Dad! What do you know about kung fu? T alk about fighting? You deserve it! You! I'm sorry, I should have taught him better I'll teach him a good and harsh lesson Master Shi, please take it easy! Gentlemen, please take a seat inside Attend to the customers! Master! Third day now. Won't live long even if I survive this Don't be such a cry-baby! More hardship is coming It's bad luck! In fact, you can take the punishment... as a form of practice It's not only horse stance that I'm having What else? A stomach stance! You need to stand up as a man Y es, my eyes are standing still! Let me show you Air flow in the stomach! Energy flow from the abdomen Brother Jin, what is that? This is the art of utilizing the vital energy It can loosen stiff joints and helps blood flow If you follow the instruction, not only horse stance But you can stand up to any stance! Air flow in the stomach! Energy flow from the abdomen Eyes closed as the energy gathers! Left and right and left and right! A thousand pounds and I'm still alright! Left and right and left and right! A thousand pound and I'm still alright! Looks like he gives a damn Get into position! Make a proper horse stance! Or get stomach stance Do it! Higher! Oh! 3rd brother, what are you doing? You asshole! 3rd Brother, Jian is already serving his punishment Why do you beat him up? He...oh my foot! Poor foot! What? Brother Jin Would you be leaving this place tomorrow? Y es, during the past three months... I've already taught you all that I knew As long as you practice hard, a year later You'll be another Jin Tianyun Brother Jin, you're not recovered yet Those gangs are still looking for you As long as they didn't find my body They will not give up Sooner or later they will be here I know, you're afraid of involving me Brother Jin, we're good brothers We should share everything, be it joy or sorrow Jian, nothing will last forever I'll come to see you a year later Okay, Brother Jin, by that time I'll take good care of you You mean the rice of original taste? Daixiong, give it a try! -Me! -Y es, master Master! Got it! Okay, okay! Ying Chang, it's your turn! Me? No way! 3rd Brother, if you don't want to learn from dad You can leave here! I didn't mean that! Then go practice! Alright! Master, which stance? As you wish Whatever! Go, go! I'll die if I have to! You still have a lot to learn. Keep practicing Y es, Master! Gao Jian, are you here to learn martial arts? Master, I don't think he'd learn anything But even if he did so it's useless Useless? Because, Master, he looks down on our school! Don't make things up! Come here! Gao Jian, how long have you studied here? About three years So you should know the stances they've just shown Could you demonstrate Master I doubt if you can manage even one One stance and he's finished Master, please! See? He's useless! Master, you see! Gao Jian, where did you learn this from? I... I made it up Okay, show me some more! Please! Master, the "flying light as a butterfly" Even though it strikes from the top and bottom But the middle part is unprotected It'll be an easy target! Master, he's right! Seems like he's not bad What did you say? Master is angry! No wonder you can't win over him! Dad! I'm sorry, Master! Master's technique is good But now he can't even stand still He was defeated in at least six or seven stances He picked up the brick The brick? You bastard! Master! Stay there! Don't run It's me! Master, stop it! Stop it! You bastard! How dare you beat me up! I didn't mean it! You did, too! And you beat me so hard? It's just a mistake! Mistake? It's more than one time No, Master can't take it Dad! T ell me, who taught you those stances? Me I taught him! Jin Tianyun! Master Shi, it's been 3 years since we met Your temper is still so bad, huh? Brother Jin, how come you're still here? I'm afraid that you'll be bullied again So I came back! Jin Tianyun, you taught my apprentice in secret This is definitely against ethics T alk about morality? How complicated! I don't know that. Your apprentice saved my life I taught him a bit as a way to say thanks Why are you so mean? That's true, Master. In fact, it's good to learn more! You traitor, you've betrayed our teachings And our school. I'll kill you! Shi Zhengzong, the decent school talks about Loving and helping the young generation But you blame your apprentice ; even beat him up... in order to save your face. If you try to... give him a hard time again, I'll interfere Jin Tianyun, I know how to teach my pupils You have no say here! You yelled so loud, don't you fear... it will break some more of your rib bones? Brother Jin, you're not recovered yet Just leave here, quick! So, you're wounded If I fight with you... People will say I've taken undue advantage It'll ruin my reputation Ying Chang, Wei Kun and Daixiong, come here! Y es, Master? Y es, Master? Go have a game with Master Jin! Me? You wouldn't want me to lose face, would you? Move! Go Go! Keep going! Keep going! Keep going! Are you all dead? Go and get him! Master, he's wounded, just stop it! Master! Master... Dad! Master, he ran away! I'm sorry, Master! You traitor, hang him up! So, Jin Tianyun, I thought you've flown away We meet again! Don't think you can get away this time Fan San, get him! Let me go! Big Brother! Jin Tianyun, I'll get you this time! Master, Gao Jian is young and ignorant Please forgive him once! Dad, you've already hung him up for one whole day Let me release him! Stop! Betraying one's school is a serious violation This bastard, I'll teach him a good lesson Dad! You don't need to beg me on his behalf! I've invited some leaders here... to discuss how to get rid of the Three Devils I'll also take this chance to clear up our school! Clear up our school? Master, you mean... I'll dispose him of all his vital energy In front of everybody, so as to show the world My sense of justice! Dad! Dad! I'm so itchy 3rd Brother, I need some water I'm so dry, 3rd Brother! I need some water! 3rd Brother! Quick, I need a drink What? Better say your last wish fast! I'm so thirsty! Give me some water! Water, sure! Let me give you the best soup in the world It'll surely soothe you! Come down! I'm high up here. If you don't let me down How can I drink? Want me to attend to you, eh? No, I didn't mean that Never mind, let me do it! How's that? T aste good? Well, the taste is a bit strange That's the water I've just used to wash my feet T ake some more! No! It's good for your body! Gao Jian! Big Brother! Go! Master wants to dispose you of your vital energy What? Dispose my vital energy? We've today all the heroes from close and afar I appreciate all your bravery and uprightness It's our honor to attend to your call We are more than willing to obey! Thank you! Thank you! As long as we can get rid of the Three Devils Please use us as you see fit! Y es, yes! May we have your good advice? I won't dare! Please take your seat Everybody knows that Y an Qingwang, Zhou Sanzhao Fan San are the parasites of our martial arts field They are here to mess up! Y an Qingwang, what do you mean? T o come and kill? Zhengzong, I hear you got some men here... to get rid of the three of us So we came on our own to see how good they are! Good! Since you saved us the effort of searching you Then I'll give you what you desire Come on So, you've taught your apprentices how to get beaten, is it! I think the word "Decent School" of martial arts needs to be corrected As what? As "deceased" Three Devils, don't go too far! Go! I said, move! Master, I can't My head is wounded! My eyes are swollen! Big Brother, you're the best, you go! Shi Zhengzong, it's your turn! Dad! Big Brother! Dad! Stop! Shi Zhengzong, he who wins is the King What else have you to say? Your name Thunderstorm does mean something in the martial arts field. I think your place... is indeed a good shelter for us! I can't even sleep a bit more! I've told you a million times You've to hurry up! The customers are coming! I'm working now! You keep yelling at me day and night And to think you're my dad? Look at you, are you a thief at night? Thief? If so, need I stay here... and work like a horse? What are you mumbling about? What did you say? Nothing! If you don't like it here... you're free to leave Boss, look at your restaurant It's as big as a market. I'm the only staff here It wouldn't hurt to hire one more helper What did you say? Who's gonna pay for that? You're so ungrateful! If it wasn't me who pitied you last year... And keep you here, you'd have starved to death Y es, oh yes! Thanks Mr. Boss! Work fast! Can't take any criticism, even talks back to me Did you light the stove yet? Light the stove? You lazy bum! I woke you up... to have you light the stove! You're so forgetful! I'll beat you up! You good-for-nothing, how dare you run! I'll beat you up, you can't remember a thing! Where is he? He was here just now! You'll be dead if I catch you This is such a small place Where can he hide? I'm here! You bastard, you bastard! I'm so mad! Gao, how come you're so slow? I'm coming! Coming! You will have it for sure Y es, I'll be right there! Gentlemen, take your time! Coming! That way please! Gentlemen, have some tea What would you like? Whatever is good here, we'll take it! Y es, yes, will be right here! Hurry up! Just get whatever dishes here Anyway, we can eat as much as we want When we get to the home of Thunderstorm! What're you rushing at? Brother Y an is really smart He can turn the home of Thunderstorm ...to be his own camp What about Shi Zhengzong? That coward Of course he won't dare to fight back! Come, a toast! What happened? You messed up again! My clothes are all wet! Stupid! T ake care of the customers immediately Waiter! Stupid! Someone calls you over there! Gentlemen, what do you want? Get our dishes quick! Okay, coming! How come Y an will stay at Thunderstorm's place? It's not your bloody business! You stupid! You messed up again? I'll give you a good beat! You beat me? Get the dishes, right? I'll go! Waiter! We've been waiting for ages! Thank you! Thank you! You know nothing but mess up! Waiter, waiter! Y es, what do you want? Refill the teapot! Refill, yes! Refill what? There's no water I'm sorry, coming soon! Boss, why do you have to do it yourself? You asshole Where are you hiding at? I'll beat you up! Watch the teapot! I don't need your advice! I'm telling you You... Get off, right? Okay, I'll take your word Why are you pulling my clothes? Gao, are you really leaving? Y es! But bear this in mind It's me who fired you, not vice versa! Oh, you asshole! Hi, is there some gold here on the road? It's you again! Stay calm! I just want to ask you something Mind your head! Oh, you two are killing each other? Who exactly is your Brother Y an? Y an Qingwang! How come he stayed with Thunderstorm? Say! Y es, yes! I'll tell you! Brother Jin is killed! Y es, after Y an Qingwang killed Jin Tianyun He stayed at Thunderstorm's house Dad! 2nd Brother, 2nd Brother! 2nd Brother, don't you know me? I'm the one that's always bullied by you - Gao Jian Oh, it's you! How come you're here? Cause I miss you all! How is Master! It ain't good to talk here. Let's go in Brother, try these noodles! Go on! 3rd Bro, we haven't seen each other for a year Did you change your profession? It's a long story! We're now at the mercy of others We are at the end of our tethers Y et there's no end to our insults You're not much better than us! That's right! Ever since the three bastards came 3rd Brother has become the chef I'm the servant, and Sister is the housekeeper Hey, looks like you've been doing well You here to do your brothers a good turn, is it Shame on me, I'm not much better than you What are you doing now? Speak up, chap I'm waiting on tables A waiter? The noodles are for me! No wonder Master wrote you off as a useless bum As the saying goes : can't change one's nature What did you say, kid? Nothing! 3rd Brother, he is teasing us! You asshole You need a good beat! You? Give him a good beat! What are you guys yelling about? Sister! Gao Jian, when did you come back? A while back. I heard Master has been sick Is it true? Oh! What's going on in the kitchen? Hurry up! Master Y an is waiting! Coming! All they know is rushing! You're rushing to your death, asshole! T ake it out! Hurry up! Hurry up! Sister, let me do it! You? I can do it! Hey, don't mess things up! Big Brother, we'll raise you a toast! Come, come! Help yourself! A toast! Where is the food? This is nonsense! Coming! It's our honor that Brother Y an invites us here We'll do whatever you need us to do! Come, come! Gentlemen, help yourself! Don't be shy, feel free to eat! Who are you? Where is that woman? She is cooking in the kitchen I'm the youngest apprentice of Thunderstorm Youngest apprentice? T ake that old fart here And see if this kid is lying Y es! Lying? I'm telling you the truth My name is Gao Jian How come I've never seen you before? Master said that I didn't practice well So he kicked me out. I just came back to see how he is doing. If you release me I'll pour wine for you! Master, Master! How are you? Master, I'm Gao Jian! Gao Jian! Zhengzong, is this one of your apprentice? Y es! Master, so I can be your apprentice again? T ake him out. He's not allowed here... without my permission! Dad, take the medicine! What are you doing? Big Brother has such a tragic death Can't I even make him an altar? There's not enough space even for the living Who cares about the dead! You... What? What are you guys arguing about? Don't you know that dad is sick? Brother Jin, please rest in peace! Hey! What are you doing here? Go away! Master Fan, I've a secret to tell you! What secret? We shouldn't talk here, I'll wait for you at hillside Come here quick! Come here! Hey! I'm here! What secret? You really want to know? Since I asked you out I'll surely tell you! Someone wants to kill you! Who? Who dares to kill me? Say! This man is very skillful I don't think you can handle him! Do you remember a year ago At the pharmacy? It's you! You're right, it's me! Want me to be a eunuch? Here! Come again! Come up here! Running away? Master Y an, Master Fan's body is over there He deserved it Who brought it in? I don't know We just stepped into the house And saw that Master Fan is lying here! Ask that old fart to come out Someone has already been sent What's happening? Master, there is a body there! Come here! Master, they've asked you to go there. Coming! Hurry up! So it's Master Fan. You deserve it! A word more and I'll cut out your tongue! It's true. That's what is written Gao Jian! Shi Zhengzong! Y es, Master Y an Who killed Fan San? I'm sick. Been in the store room all the time I haven't stepped out What about your apprentice? If we're that skillful... we'd have rebelled long ago! Get out! Okay, okay. Master, I'll take you to bed Big Brother, Fan's death is questionable Do you think it's the old fart that did this? That's not possible The old fool does not have that ability! It must be someone from the outside! Who could it be? The killer is in the temple I am waiting for you Very good! Very good! It's better than a stage performance! Relax You are too slow Watch out! Look clearly So it's you, you short-lived asshole! Don't be so mean! Don't you want to know who killed Fan San? Who is he? Watch carefully! I am the killer Why did you kill him? Because Jin Tianyun is my friend Jin Tianyun! How nasty! I'm still a virgin! This is called "Act like a Man"! The way you throw dart could be exhausting It's my fault! If only I knew you carried so many rusted tins I'll kill you fast! Now you're prepared, it'd be a bit harder You're so smart, you can learn from me... in such a short time Now it's my turn! Finished? Killed? That's what you taught me Act like a Man Fan San is killed suddenly Who possibly can kill him? Dad, could it be a hero... who wants to deliver justice for us all? Hero? I smell trouble! That's right. Now that someone is killed Don't know how he will torture us again Gao, running around again? Where've you been? I went to pee! Pee again! You pee all day long Kidney failure? How do you know? How dare you! T easing me! No, I'm not Y es, you are! You are, too Master Y an, Master Zhou has been slain The body is lying outside Dad, don't know who did it this time? Brother Y an, you see! You see! Who killed him? Who killed him? Who did that? Brother Y an, what should we do? That's right, Brother Y an, what should we do? What should we do? Let's go! Go, go! Wait, it'll be dangerous for us to stay here! What do you mean? If we stay here, we'll be killed all the same! I guess we should leave tomorrow! T omorrow? Now! The bad guys of the boxing world I'm sorry, did I scare you all? How come everyone is here? You want to flee? Leaving Y an Qingwang here all by himself? He'll be lonely! So it's you! It's too late now to know! No wonder you look like a pig! Y an Qingwang, why are you so late? You should've come sooner to see my act You bastard, since you're here! My brothers died suddenly I never imagined it could be you! With age a person's reflexes slow down Don't blame yourself. It's said... T o err is human, and you're not even human! How's that? Good? Who is Jin Tianyun to you? We share a complex relationship It's now close to the end Let's forget all that meaningless talk! Come! Is it Gao Jian? What do you call that stance? Good! Very good! Stop! Gao Jian, will you ever obey your elders? Y es! Please teach us the stances... which you used to kill that old fart Don't you fear betraying your own school? Of course not. There's only me, you and him That's right, you can teach us step by step Nobody will know! That's right! Okay! - Good morning, sweetheart. - Hi. Still in love with that coat? What coat? It's been open to that same page for the last three days. Oh, that's the centre page. It opens there naturally. - How long for the pancakes? - Just a few minutes. Well I'll finish getting dressed. Mother? Mother, I can't wear this coat. Yes, you're right, Samantha. The colour isn't very becoming to you. Oh, that's perfect. Mother. I know, I know. I don't understand, but I know. I will have a mink coat when Darrin can afford it, and not before. Well, by the time Darwin can afford a mink, mink will be extinct. Now, be honest with yourself, Samantha. Wouldn't you adore to have that coat? Well... Wear it in good health. Mother. You take back this coat. - Hi. - Hi. It's crazy, but I've been looking at that picture of that mink coat for so long, I could've sworn you were just wearing one. Darrin would you like to tell me what's bothering you? I don't know, honey. L... I don't seem to be getting anywhere. I've been doing pretty much the same job for the last three years and what have I accomplished? Sweetheart, I think you accomplished a great deal. Like what? Well, look around you. We're not exactly starving, you know. Well, honey, I know we have most of the things we need but just having the things you need isn't everything. I mean... I'd like to buy you some things you haven't got. I've got you. That's the only thing I really want. What about that fur coat? Oh, Darrin, I haven't heard you talk this way before. Remember the new account I told you about? Waterhouse and Company? The one the agency's been trying to get for years? Yes. Oh, don't tell me you lost it. No, we got it all right. The trouble is, I will not be handling it. Well, did you talk to Larry? Larry's the one who told me about it. Well, I know how you feel. But maybe... Well, maybe you're just in too much of a hurry to get to the top. Remember, you're still young. I'm young all right, but I won't always be young. If that's Larry, tell him I'm on my way. Hello. Oh, hi, Louise. Yeah, sure I'd like to hear some good news. Larry told you wh... Darrin's got the Waterhouse account? Oh, I can't wait to tell him. Oh, well, all right. If Larry wants to tell him himself, I understand. I won't say a word. It won't be easy, but I promise. Oh. Oh, I'd love to. Yes, I'll do some shopping, and then I'll meet you for lunch. Okay. Bye. - Who was it, honey? - Louise. - What are you so happy about? - She wants me to meet her for lunch. - Oh, boy. Some life I've given you. - What do you mean? A little thing like going out to lunch, and you're ecstatic. I'm easy to please. I'll just go change, and then I'll drive you to the office. Honey, I'm a little late. Only take a minute. Darrin. Larry, I want to speak to you about the Waterhouse account. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Well, I'm talking to you about it first. Remember the Hoffsteddler-Douglas account? - Yes, but... - Before I took over Hoffsteddler hadn't spoken to Douglas in 30 years. - You did a fine job there, Darrin. - Yes, I did. And let's not overlook the Michael Sales Company account. Before I took charge, they couldn't give away ice water in the middle of the Mojave Desert. - A memorable job. Yes, it was. And don't change the subject. Then there was the Pender Drug account, and Sheridan Cement. All first class. And all the others. I haven't thought about hours or days off. I've proved my loyalty and it's about time you gave me an unqualified vote of confidence. Now, Larry, either I get that Waterhouse account or you get yourself a new boy. - You got it. I mean it, Larry. I've got the Waterhouse account? That's what I wanted to tell you when you came in. Yesterday you said I couldn't have the account because I was too immature. What did I do, age overnight? I just thought it over, and this morning I changed my mind. And Darrin, I know you'll do a great job. - Good luck. - Thanks, Larry. You won't be sorry. I still don't get it. What made you change your mind? - Oh, it's the boss' prerogative. - I'll buy that. Boy, I can't wait to tell Sam. I was tempted to tell her myself but I knew that you wanted that pleasure. Oh, yeah. When... When did you see Samantha? Oh, just now. Down in the parking lot. There's a great little wife you've got there. Has your every interest at heart. She sure has. She's got more confidence in me than I have in my... Larry, you stopped and spoke to her? We chatted a while. You chatted a while. Yes. Larry, I resign from the Waterhouse account. You... You resign? What are you talking about? I will not accept any job that my wife got for me. You got this job because you're the best man for it. That's not the point. Any success I make I'm going to make on my own or not at all. Samantha. Now, you listen to me. I have had it with your magic and spells. Now be quiet. I'm not finished yet. I've had it up to here with all your witchcraft turning me into a werewolf, into a chimpanzee! I'm not through yet, Sam. Just to prove that I have had it, I am going to blow this account. Do you hear me? I'm gonna blow the account! What do you think of that? Is this 555-7328? Look, I'll have to make this fast. Mr. Waterhouse is outside. Before you meet him, I want to brief you... - I don't need any briefing. - Darrin, Waterhouse is a very conservative man. He's been making thumbtacks since 1888 and he doesn't go for this modern hoopla. I don't know why he decided to change agencies and come with us but take a tip from me and play it sincere and conservative. Betty, would you please ask Mr. Waterhouse to come in here? Larry, you just leave everything to me. Well, if it isn't old J. P. Waterhouse, thumbtack king of America. Stephens is my name and advertising is my game. Lay it on me, baby! Stephens? Is that the name of the man who's handling my account? Yes, Mr. Waterhouse. - This is Darrin Ste... - You bet your bottom dollar I'm your boy. But time's a-wasting. Let's get down to brass tacks. Brass tacks! I got a million of them. All levity aside, Porterhouse. Now, I've been looking at your advertising, and believe me some of your ideas went out with hoop skirts. I mean, it's " Hey, you, kid with a wow-wow brush!" What Darrin means, Mr. Waterhouse, is that some of your ideas could be brought into better focus... Oh, no, no, Larry. Larry, that isn't what I mean at all. What I mean is, Waterhose, baby, you gotta get with it. That TV commercial of yours where the executive comes in and he puts the poster up on the wall. Oh, that has got to go. But say what if you should take a cute little secretary and she comes into the boss' office and she's putting thumbtacks in the boss' drawer and one of those thumbtacks, it drops on the boss' chair. The boss comes in, and he sits down. That'll bring the TV viewer right out of his chair. - Bring the boss out of his chair too. - That's enough, Darrin! Hold it, Tate. I'll talk to this boy. Young man, you might as well know it now. I don't like you. I don't like your manner, I don't like your style, I don't like your attitude. But I do like your ideas. Stephens, I'm putting next year's entire campaign in your hands. - You are? - Yes. We've been advertising the same way for 30 years. It's not working anymore. That's why I changed agencies decided we have to keep things up-to-date. Get to work on that campaign right away. And remember one thing, gentlemen Waterhouse is my name and thumbtacks is my game. He wants me. Darrin, you must have somebody watching over you. Larry, I just learned something. - When a man can't lose, he can't win. - Where are you going? - To a bar, to drown my sorrows. - Drown your sorrows? You just landed a big account. Well, let's just say I'm a sore winner. Yeah, you came to the right guy for advice, Darrin. I'm an expert. I know everything about marriage. That's why I'm still single. I don't get it. I'm married to a girl who can have anything in the whole world yet she chose me. - Take my brother. He's had four years of happy marriage. The trouble is, he's been married for 16. She must love me. Gave up everything for me. But obviously she misses all those luxuries. Who can blame her? It all boils down to the old question. Is there a life after marriage? She just didn't wanna hurt my pride. Wants me to think that I'm the breadwinner. Pretty soon the romance goes. And, as the song says women get weary wearing the same shabby dress. Well, then, that's the time to go out and buy her another shabby dress. That's why she's doing it this way. Instead of just wapping up a million dollars. I guess I have been selfish forcing her to give up her witchhood, live on my salary. - Poor little witch. - You see, the thing to do is to try to keep the magic in your marriage. I guess I'll just have to go along with her. She's been a great wife. Be my way of saying thanks. Oh, listen, you're welcome. Anytime, Darrin, old boy. Anytime. Oh, Darrin! Oh, it's... It's beautiful. Well, you shouldn't have. Oh, but I'm glad you did. Well, I can afford it. Because you got the Waterhouse account? You guessed I would, huh? Well, you deserve it. It's beautiful. You like my gift, huh? Well, Darrin, you know what they say. It isn't the gift, it's the thought that counts. Oh, yes, of course I like it. - You'll be my slave, then. - Are you a Traoré? If I had known, I'd have carried the two sacks on my head. Traoré, do you have a new slave? Rather he has a new master. All right. I'll pay you tomorrow in front of the factory. Ok. See you! Don't go yet, little slave! Come with me to the Bozola Co-op. The sale is over. Impossible! We need rice! There's no more left... No more for sale. That's the last sack. We're out of stock. We're out of rice. Balla, let's go back! Come! Boss! Don't call me boss, call me Balla Traoré. I wanted a leave permit. Did you get someone to replace you? Then tell your boss that I sent you. Traoré, the boss is looking for you. I'm going to get my rice. That's your problem. Get to work. You screwed up with that part. You know it'll be three months until we get a spare part. Make sure it doesn't happen again. It won't. Back to work! I've got them very cheap. Take a look at the large one. - How much? - 350 FM. That's for women! Try it on. Too small for my girlfriend. Look at him! She's looking good. How much for the trousers? I'll give you 50 FM. No, 150! I can't give you more than 50... for that used rag. I've made some progress with a serious man. A rich man from Sarakollé. He just needs to swallow the bait. This has no future. She'll end up getting married, like our sisters. Watch out! The Director's coming. You old whore! Who did you date yesterday? In the afternoon, Seydow. The ugly one? Is the Minister in? I'm Makan's secretary. Fatou! The Director wants to see you... tomorrow at 4 pm. Is that all right? Ok, good bye. - Is the Director in? - Go see his secretary. Take this to the boss's car. Is the director in? Don't you know how to say hello? Yes, sorry. Is he in? - He's not seeing anyone right now. - He called me. - Who are you? - Balla Traoré, from the factory. Right, Balla from the factory, he's expecting you. It's the office on the right. You're late, I was leaving... Have a seat. - Any news? - Everything's all right. I got the quarterly report. Truth is, this factory is going from bad to worse in red ink, according to a report made before you arrived. But right now, we need to keep up appearances at all costs. A rich man nowadays, is like the crap that... bees feed on. They get pleasure, but at the same time it makes them cry. 200 workers will be laid off, among this mass of lazy bums. 200, that's too many! The factory will produce, I'll take care of it. You have my trust. - Here's the sack. - Leave it there. That's everything. You owe me 215 FM. Go, I'll pay you later. I can't start the day... with debts. So what do you want? I also start the day with debts... What am I working for, then? I don't give a damn. Beat it! I have no money. What do you want? Come back later! Just think a bit, I have to earn a living. Go on, beat it! I won't flee... Hi, Korotoumou. You could wait until the morning is over. Korotoumou... do you have my money? Don't insult me! - Aren't you a bitch! - Yes, I am. I have your money, but I won't pay you. You'll pay me. Is the Mecca wall painted... with your shit? And yours? Fucking bitch! You old whore! Calm down! Have you no shame? Traoré, breakfast is ready. What's the matter? I don't feel like talking. I'm worried. - You know them well. - Not at all. Do you think we're alone in life? I get criticized because I... don't take care of my family. You know my parents have nothing. I can't support... two families. Go back to your parents if you want. You talk to me like that... precisely now? How can you want me away from my parents? Besides, it's you who forced me to work. From now on, I will work. Did you find an employer? That's my problem. Also mine. Anyway, it'll happen soon. My only frustration in this relationship, is not having children. And also mine! If we don't have kids, I can't do anything. I don't want to hear you... talking that way. Let's stop this discussion, we're too nervous. Smarten up, tonight we'll be having dinner at the Director's house. I don't want to go. Your hosts look down on everybody. You're only coming with me. I know, but I don't feel like it. Get ready! - Djénéba... hi! - Sinaté... hi! - Is you husband in? - Yes, he's expecting you. - How much is this sack? - 20700 FM. You've done a lot of shopping today. These days we're playing tag again... with the tax agents, to avoid any delays. True. We have to solve the problem... one way or another. How much do we owe them? 200 million! Is that the total? What's our cash flow? 75 million! I'll ask Djénéba to write a check. It's always better... to pay off debts to the state, so we can make projects... in the best conditions. Put the money away! Write a check for 125 million. I don't have so much money in the bank. It's not about your bank account. Is it you who feeds him? No use complaining. Do as you're told. You're unbearable. I can't take it any longer! Just leave if you can't take it! Sissoko, calm down. What do you want me to do? My woman treats me like a nobody. You don't have to spit on me... every time you get into debt. Leave me alone! If you don't do it, I'll beat you up. Too much anger... for just one man. By God and Sinaté, I forgive you. I've had enough. Here, Sinaté. Djénéba, give us five minutes. Sinaté, I'm preparing a little trip. Hey, you, what about your papers? I don't have any. Hey, get up! Come on! You, there! Get up! Your ID? The guy asked him for a "hit". As the baker didn't understand, the Sarakollé showed him a loaf of bread... Then the baker and his wife started to laugh. That's funny! Our Sarakollé fathers... in Europe, make fun of white people... Really funny! Leave that! What have I done now? You're provoking me! Come on, M'Batoma, let's go to the room. Founé! See the children off to bed! Is this your little girl? Time to go to bed. Excuse me, Balla... it's better to be alone. Women are indiscreet. - What do you do? - Nothing. After returning from Europe, my husband won't let me work. What about your degrees? Young men are jealous. In a week you'll have your car. I'll go and see Bathily for your coverage. You'll have all the privileges of your rank. It's very pretty. It's a gift. Don't be surprised, it's nothing special. You want to reorganize the factory. It will only be possible... if you're in charge. Put it in the other room. A bit further behind. Djénéba! We have to see each other less frequently. Why? I'm not afraid of gossip. People stick their noses into other people's business. Do you mean my husband? Of course. You'll regret... the day when... he catches you. There's nothing to be worried about. Sure there is! He's already been divorced four times. Right now he loves you, make the best of it. Enough. I know what I want. Don't get angry. Let's change the subject. What are you doing on Thursday? I don't know yet. What's your plan? Come over by my house. I won't be able to. Sing to Fakoli! Praise his majesty! Fakoli's worthy descendant. Great Griot! Please accept... to pay them all this morning. Good! And so it shall be. Get behind me, sons of Fakoli. You deserve a tribute... O worthy son of your father. What about the house? The sand's been delivered, the other materials are on their way. Noumouké has promised it by the end of the month. Hurry up, German and French experts are coming. Don't worry. Hurry up! Where's Diarra? He's been arrested. For lack of papers. And where is he now? I don't know. What's the problem? One of my workers has been arrested. And I don't know why. What's his name? 1000 FM to set him free. I need him free. You'll get an ID card. Thank you, brother. Come on, Diarraké. Nobody's taking my son away! I am! Then, I'll pursue you forever! What's going on? This witch is after me every day, we're going home to solve the problem. - I have the rights to adoption. - Never! Thanks for freeing me. I had no means... to get out. Carry your papers... and no one will hassle you. I didn't know that. It won't happen again, brother. Have you finished? - Have some more. - I'm full. You can always eat a little more. - Have a roll. - I can't, really. Try the salad. Don't refuse everything. Have some fruit. I'll have a banana. - I'm leaving now. - Already? Wait for me, I'll wash my hands. As I foresaw, your employment has been arranged. Come to the factory tomorrow. There's no need for a ride. - How will you go back? - On foot, as usual. - I'll show you out. - Don't bother. Good evening! Balla! They set you free? My boss paid for me. Liar! It's true, he freed me. You dug a hole in the wall. And I also have a job. Oh! What a tall tale! "If you think the night is nice, the day will be worse. " Balla is a liar. I'm not crazy. Believe me! Balla is a joker. It's been a long time. Haven't seen you around lately. Is it ready? Yes. Let's celebrate the reunion. Where? Come sit with me. They're waiting for me. I'm in a rush. So, don't forget: - Tuesday, at "3 Caïmans". - All right! We'll have a good time. - How much is it? - 1200 FM. Where are you going tonight? To the "3 Caïmans". We could go together. You need to rest, you've had a hard day. Sure! There's always an excuse. - All right, then, get dressed! - No, I'm not going. Sometimes you're a bit complicated. Go alone, I'm not going. Shut the door. If you stay out late, I'll lock it. You're sitting there with your golden kerchiefs... and your bald heads that signal that you're the bosses. Your activities will be evident at the court... You eat up all the public rights... The police will catch you all. - You're getting on our nerves! - So what? Mec, get back to your place! Let me go! Have you gone mad? I haven't seen your money! Let him go! A drunkard won't humiliate me! The bottle holds the wine. Why can't you? Go and let off steam over there, not here! Calm down! He's not drunk, he's just insolent. What's wrong with you? You're bothering us. Incredible! Scandalous! Let's settle the bill! - Let's go home. - No! - I'll walk you... - No, I'm staying. You don't look good. The harm's already done. You behave... like a hooligan. That's what I had in mind. You might have warned me. Since you were there, it's all right. You really have changed. I thought you were a good citizen... like in the days we were studying. You change according to your place. Because of your job... private companies, you work hard... Balla, you should never treat a friend so badly. I've never been so serious. Private companies, then... you work hard... and make nothing. Who told you that? You've never worked... for the public sector. You work very little and make ten times more... than in the private sector. If you don't believe me, then that's that... Listen! You know very well... that while not in the public sector... my salary is more than enough... and I don't need more to get by. You disappoint me. Hi, Tiekoura! Hi, boss! How are you? Any news? The young ones came to tell me about a meeting. Organized by the new engineer? We have no confidence in him. With or without your confidence, let's listen to him. We'll judge him by his actions. He doesn't have to be like the ones before. For sure. Let's go and listen to him. See you later. Don't forget the meeting! Try to be there! What do you say? The work is hard. You have to get used to it. I don't think it's that hard. It's just getting used to it. Try to make it to the meeting. I'm very tired. I'm asking you... as the organizer. I'll see. I'm counting on you. Founé, my thurible! Founé, hand me the phone. Good morning. Yes, it's me. Is the boss in? Let me speak to him. Hold on, I'll go and see. Founé! Put Sissoko on the phone. Who is it? Zangué? What's the matter? Are the workers meeting... with your permission? Never! This is Balla's idea. Incredible! I can't trust anybody. Don't wait for me. Take Kariba or Drissa with you, and follow procedure. Those are my orders, I can't stand hooligans. You've come at a good time. It's about the meeting. I told the boss, he wants us to follow procedure. You know what to do, so get over there. What are you doing here? Take the kids, quick! Come here, Naou. Wait here, I'll be back in a while. Good day, Touré. How are you? And the family? Today I've come to thank you, for the work you did with my wife. It was a complete success. My wife adores me. And all thanks to God and your work. - I thank you. - Give thanks to God! To his Grace! Today, my main concern in this visit... is the factory. In these violent times, it's enough to wear a new shirt... to awaken envy, even if the person... is not concerned. I come to you for protection. I've told you Traoré is evil. And now the workers have stopped working, to go to the meeting. Who could have lightened the work load? It's the new engineer. He's reduced the cloth price. And when such a person calls a meeting, to discuss our problems, I think it's... something good, that we should... all value. What do you say? You're right. Our union delegates are a bunch of stool-pigeons, trust them... and you'll bury yourself alive. So let's fire them! I think they should reduce the working hours. Eight hours a day, instead of the current ten. They only pay us 7000 FM a month. The people that work eight hours a day are paid better... than us, that's the real problem. So what do you want us to do? I think people are spoiled here. Did you hear? After the first month, everyone's in debt. You have to claim your rights. Besides, there's tattletales among us. They keep quiet now, and talk later. Instead of insulting each other, let's reach an agreement. In any case, we need to earn more. - Speak up! - Traoré, a call for you. - I'm at a meeting. - It's very urgent. - What do you want? - It's not my problem. Instead of talking, let's act. How? - Let's go and see the boss! - We've already seen him. Let's go once more. And if he doesn't see us, we stop working. Traoré, the boss is calling. Doumbia, carry on with the meeting, I'll be right back. You know what we have to do. Traoré will be back. Wait for him. Let me go! Where were you when my fur order arrived? I'm worried. You're never there when I send someone. I don't know what to do. You could phone. That would make things easier. True. I hadn't thought of that. Did you get my check? Yes. It was for my cotton business. I'm worried about that too. Coming. Balla has been on the job for three months... and he's been well received by the workers. His salary has risen and his work rate has improved. Therefore, management has decided... to take special measures, though not for the first time. The police have opened an investigation. Nothing new! We've heard this story before... with all its mysteries. The crowd you see over there is here because of your brother. All will be known today. How many times have we taken the blow? Enough! Balla, you'll see us do it. - Hello! - Hello, Touré! The house is quiet, where are the servants? Madame has... Sent them all away? After I left? Naré, what an embarrassment! Sissoko is at the door. How will I explain? I'm dead! Hurry up! You're so slow! My God! Sissoko! Hurry up, Niaré! - What's going on? - Greetings, Sissoko. - I was waiting for you. - Why? - You called me. - I don't remember. That must be it. You know, Niaré, you lose your head easily in this world. Let's go in and talk, then. I'm very short of time. - Come in, please. - I'm afraid I can't. I'll send you a message by phone tomorrow. Good bye. Do you need to whine? Can't you see I'm not well? Right, you're ill! What was he doing here? Who? Niaré! He came because you invited him. You asked him to wait here. You know very well that I didn't call him. How could I? I wasn't there. You're not going to cry over that. What did he come for? You could speak to me more gently! Wasn't it for this shitty life that you married me? Haven't you seen Niaré? Don't talk to me about him. I've got a thousand like him. And he doesn't have shit. Sure, now you can slut around all you like, but when I build houses... and give your father cars, you don't say a word. Speak, then. I know how you made your fortune. Your father, a common employee, corrupted... the public services, and you're even proud of it. Go to hell! I'll make you choke on that! I'll choke you... Calm down! Everything will be settled... today. Who went and told the cops? You couldn't keep your mouths shut. This was bound to happen. Who could have betrayed us? I don't know. I'll go look for Sissoko. Sissoko! What's that on your pants? - Is it here? - Yes. Wait for me! Come and see. I'll report it... Get back to work! - Get back to work! - Never! Until we know where Balla is. Do you know how he got here? Attack them! Slit their throats! Kill him! Murderer! Subtitles: scalisto for the KG tracker. - Morning. - Morning. What do you want? What do you want? How much? Twenty-four cents. Cash. Don't put him in with any other horse, would you? Why not? It'd just be better. That'll be extra. Put him in with another horse, he's gonna kill him. That'll be extra for you. What the hell else does he do? He can spin in half his own length in crossfire from either side. If you drop a dime over in that stall, don't stoop over to get it. - Get it with your pitchfork. - What do you keep him around for? That's a mother-in-law horse. Know what that is? A mother-in-law horse is a horse you put your mother-in-law on. Send them both up in the hills and hope they don't ever come back. Here's your money. He just all-around looks after my best welfare. I'm going out and get a morning whiskey. If all goes wrong, I'll come back and sleep in that stall. What about your tack? Just leave it in there. Anybody that's brave enough... to go in there and get it, they're welcome to it. - Harry, pass the champagne. - Breakfast champagne in Hagersville. Now, how can I pass the champagne when Dexter here drank it all? Barkeep, a little more champagne. Soon as we get to San Francisco... I want to check out where Mahare is training. Gonna be pretty tough. I understand he's copying your style, Jim. I'm not worried about him. The last 10 guys he faced, he knocked them out. He's never seen Jim's footwork, either. Remember that Florida fight? You were so fast, he couldn't land a punch. That new punch of yours is the greatest in the game. Tex, did you ever hear of a hook punch? No, I haven't. We're toasting the man with the greatest hook punch in the world. Barkeep, give Tex some champagne so that he can toast with us. - I'd rather have whiskey. - Give him anything he wants. Jim, you brought a touch of class to this game. And a lot of pretty ladies. Tex, you ready? What are we toasting? We're toasting the next heavyweight champion of the world: "Gentleman Jim" Corbett. He's gotta fight for it yet, so he ain't champion. Why don't we toast something interesting? Like what? Like Geronimo there. He's interesting. In a pig's ass. Don't you read the papers? They put Geronimo in jail, where he belongs. Let me ask you something, Tex. Who's Geronimo next to Jim Corbett? Geronimo's a man so great... that Corbett there'd have to stand on his mother's shoulders to kiss his ass. Frank. - What's your name? - Tom Horn. Do you have a gun, Tom? - No, I don't. - Good. Then you're gonna get exactly what you deserve. I don't know where you come from... but the manners that you arrived with are just awful. I'm trying to imagine how you could make such a reference... to the mother of the future heavyweight champion of the world. You ain't champion yet. Besides, you're acting like an asshole. - I could go to the penitentiary over you. - Now, wait a minute. Before we start this fight, I wanna ask you one question. - Is it about my mother? - No. I've said enough about her. If I win this fight, am I the champion of the world? You're not big enough. Then what are you picking on a little fellow like me for? You get in a fight in a public bar, they'll discredit you from your profession. I'm gonna save you from that. That ain't the real Tom Horn, is it? He doesn't seem to be too scared of Corbett. He's gonna get himself killed. Lord, the end is here. - Is Tom Horn in there? - Yeah, he's here. Last stall on the right. But I wouldn't go in there with that horse if I were you. That son of a bitch is harebrained. He's got him trained to stand people off. Well, he's a hero of the frontier and he's lying here in Hagersville... with his face kicked in. - Can you hear me? - Yeah. How bad you hurt? Wasn't much of a party. Say, you another one of those newspaper guys? No, I ain't, but I'd like to get you out from under that horse if I can. Open up that gate and I'll walk him out. Let me ask you something. - Are you in fact Tom Horn? - Yes, I am. Goddamn, Tom. You know, here in Jerkville, where these yokels... is busy flicking dandruff off their mail-order suits... they forget awful quick that it was men like you that made it... safe and possible for them to lead out their dull little lives. Right now, I wish I had nothing to do with it. - What's your name? - John Coble. What can I do for you, John? Well, first, I'd like to offer you my ranch till you get recovered. And then I'd like to offer you work... that suits both your ability and your quality. I'm a fair hand, and I'll earn my keep. Yeah, I know you will, Tom. We better stop and water our horses here at Brown's Hole. We should move on as quickly as we can. Tom, some of those cows in there are mine. What are you looking at, Mr. Coble? We're just gonna water our horses, and we'll be moving on. You like to buy some of them cows? I don't want no trouble, and like I say, we'll be moving on. How about a little dance? Give us a little dance, Mr. Coble. Dance. I said dance. All right, Mr. Coble, why don't you just ride on out? Get that shooter and put it in this water trough. Move! You son of a bitch! I'll get you, you son of a bitch! Tom, that little deal back there at Brown's Hole... ought to give you an idea of what we've been putting up with out here. I ain't never seen roping like that. Damn! He sure don't rope like no Christian. I wanna tell you. Any means that you have to take... to eliminate this rustling problem... we're all behind you 100%. - Whole organization? - All of us. I'll just have to take your word on that, John. You got it. Hey, Tom. How you feeling? We're plugging along. I'm giving a little party at the house. I'd like you to meet everybody. - I'm kind of raggedy. - Nobody'll mind. Most of the Association will be there, and they're all anxious to meet you. Okay. Pipe down. Ladies and gentlemen, in this age of quarter-section pastures... and tinhorn legislators who is riding our old trails... it's a real pleasure to welcome a vestige of that heroic era... that we just about lost. Standing beside me, right here... is the legendary tracker and interpreter of the Apache wars... Tom Horn. You're welcome, sir. Tom, this is Arlo Chance. - Tom. - Ora Haley. Howdy. - lan MacGregor. - Proud to meet you. What's the matter, Tom? - What is it? - It's a lobster. I'll be darned. I've never eaten a bug that big before. That's a Maine lobster. Broiled alive, packaged in seaweed... and shipped out here by train. At every station, the conductor drains the melted seawater off of them. - You getting the hang of it? - I'm trying. Tom, I don't know whether John here told you... but we've got a hell of a range problem here. The damn rustlers have completely wiped out our herd profits... not to mention... what the buzzards and the predators have done to our cash crops. We got people homesteading our rangeland... and raising sheep on our grass. Right at the present time, Mr. Horn, what's your primary source of livelihood? Mr. Coble offered me to ease up at his place for a while... and I said I'd earn my keep. That's good enough. Tom, you met Joe Belle? United States Marshal. Hello. I'm not wanted for anything, am I? Why don't you two fellows see... if you can get your heads together for a few minutes? Go ahead. - Do you know who I am? - No. What you used to be in the southwest... I used to be in the northwest. How does that work? I know that you've been, as I've been, a man hunter. I was a tracker. Better still. John Coble's put in a pretty fervent recommendation for you... to The Cattlemen's Association to help control the rustling. I believe his point was... handling rustlers after your experience with the Apache wars... should be like shooting fish in a barrel. Now, you're talking about... the high side of shooting and the low side of the law. Bring them to trial if you like. I feel that what I know about you... you're gonna wanna go ahead and shoot. From the standpoint of the Association, that's going to be entirely up to you. Whether I bring them in or shoot? Is your problem. You're a U.S. Marshal. You tell me, what's the difference... between a U.S. Marshal and an assassin? A Marshal's checks come in on time. Say, did Buffalo Bill ever ask you to be in his Wild West Show? Yeah, he asked me once out in Arizona, where we had a lot of people killed. He offered me my own act. Like I said, we had a lot of people killed. Joe. - Can I talk with you a minute? - Sure. Man of the West, Indian tracker, and scared to death of lobster. It was my first time. What do you... Teach school. - Yeah? - Yeah. - What were you going to ask me? - That. - What? - What you do. I teach school. School teacher? What was it like out in Indian territory? Lonely as hell. - What did you do out in the West? - Cowboy. What do you do for Mr. Coble? Cowboy. Joe, I think we've found our man. Not anything in Brown's Hole I couldn't take care of. Well, I think Horn's reputation... might be as effective as his Winchester is here. I have quite a good reputation myself. It always seems to precede me. I know that, Joe, but... your political ambitions are gonna fit right in with our future plans. Now, we don't wanna forget that, do we? And, besides... there won't be no chocolate cake for Horn up there at Brown's Hole. - Where are you from originally? - Hawaii. Hawaii? Yeah, Hawaii. Did you live in one of those grass huts? In a hotel. - They have those there? - Sure they do. Sure come a long way to teach school in Wyoming. I guess you could say I've had a romance with the West... since I was old enough to read. - You miss that ocean? - Sometimes. You know, I never learned how to ride. Is that right? Glendolene. It's a nice afternoon, John. I enjoyed my lobster. And I know Mr. Horn did, too. I'm glad you liked it. - Excellent afternoon, John. - Joe. Tom. Giddap. The way I see this, you'll be a stock detective. See that the rustling gets stopped. You can stay here at the ranch... and I'll pay your wages as a cowhand. $200 for every rustler that goes somewhere else... to ply his trade. - Who do I report to? - To me. And as far as you are concerned, you and Joe Belle never discussed this. And for that matter, neither have I. Twenty-five. Do I hear 25? Would you bid 30? Thank you. Now a half. Would you bid a half? Would you bid 35? 40. Thank you, sir. Now a half. Would you bid a half? 75. Got a dollar. How about going on for a half? $1.50. Would you bid $2? Did I hear $2? I got $2 right over here. Thank you, sir. Sold to Western Trail Packing Company for $2. Could I see that bill of sale? Thank you, son. You consider this an actual bill of sale? I'm just the auctioneer, sir. The bill of sale's been sworn to. Well, whoever swore to it... was a liar and a cow thief. Those cows belong to John Coble of the Wood River Cattle Company. Who the hell are you? Stock detective. What's a stock detective? Me. You may call yourself some kind of stock detective... but I'm a deputy sheriff, and I'm the law here. Lock these men up. I'll file the charges. Nobody's going to jail, unless you start some trouble. I see. I'll tell you what, Horn. I'm gonna kill you. You ain't gonna kill nobody. If he don't, I will. - Your damn charges ain't gonna stick. - lf the charges don't stick... I'll just take it between us as who gets who first. That's how it's gonna be, then. There won't be no more cows stolen. Not from the Wood River Cattle Company... the Bar-Three Cattle Company, or the Haley Cattle Company. Consider that my last word on the matter. Come on, boys, let's have an auction. You know, I got a weird feeling. Yo, me too. We're being followed. Look! Tell them what you saw here. That you, Horn? You coming in here after me? Giddap! Come on. Get them up there. Hang in there. Come on. Let him stop first, then give him slack. Hitch him up. Hang in there. Ease up on him there. You got him. Yeah, he's a good horse. You go ahead... ride him around a little bit and tire him out. Keep his head up. If you keep his head up, he ain't gonna buck. - Could I talk to you a minute? - You bet. All right, you go ahead and take the rough off of him. I'll come back after he's quieted down and put a handle on him. What'll I do if I get into a real storm with this horse? Just get off of him the best you can, but don't let him roll in that saddle. I think that... I need that horse! Shit. Stop that horse! I need that horse. Get that horse. I can understand you smaller children... but you older children have no excuses. So, we're going to stay until you get it right. Now, I don't want any erasures, so turn the page and start fresh. Put that mouse in your pocket. I brung you a horse. Class dismissed. Lord, it's like a stampede. - I'm not dressed for riding. - Sure. Go on home. Go on. - I'm not dressed for riding. - Why, sure you are. Why, women ride all the time dressed like that. I busted that horse for you. Come on, I'll boot you up on him. - He's beautiful. - He's a good horse. Come on, I'll put you up there. Okay. Done. You all right? - How do I get... - Take hold of these reins. Grab his reins, grab a little handful of his mane. Give him a little kick in the slats. Yeah. Hold on with your thighs. That's it. Kind of roll your hips a little. Roll your hips along with the horse. You ride good. So, I finally got my teaching diploma... and I taught in Cincinnati for a while, and Denver, and... Well, I've been everywhere. I'm an adventuress. I thought that was a girl that worked in dance halls. - No? - No. That's a girl who goes on adventures. How do you figure this day we're having out here? - An adventure. - Yeah? How do I work into it, this adventure? I see a man of the Old West trying to live in the New. Do you know how raggedy-ass and terrible the Old West really was? - No. - lf you spend any time with me... you'll find out just how raggedy-ass it was. You love it out here, don't you? Yes, I do. - Morning. - Good morning. Looking for Lee Mendenhour's place. Two drainages over is a little basin. Lee is situated on the morning side. - What's your name? - Tom Horn. Well, I thought maybe. Look, I ain't never stole nothing. I sure am sorry about Lee. - He wasn't too damn bad a fellow. - He's still with us. He is now. Well, he weren't too bad a fellow. Those are Coble's cattle you're running there. Same old deal. Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. You get my note, tell you to get out of this area? Yeah, I got your fucking note. I rolled it up with some tobacco and I smoked it. That what I did, champion. You killed my horse, you son of a bitch. - How are you? - Morning. Howdy, John. Gentlemen. It's this Horn situation. We got a problem. You think maybe he might be just a little bit too protective? You know we still got the Nolt sheep problem on the south fork. But the rustling has stopped. Yeah. I think it's his rifle every bit as much as his reputation... that's done that. It's almost a foregone conclusion that this fellow's working for us. You know, after that incident in town, we're just within one damn inch... of having our names splattered all over the newspaper... and I don't have to tell you what an embarrassing situation... that can put all of us in. What do you suggest? John, we just can no longer afford this fellow. He's only doing what we hired him to do, you know. The time has come for us to divest ourselves of this Mr. Horn. How? I think Joe there is the answer to that question. Let this thing lie down, John. Understand? Thank you, John. Bob, look at this: "Man thrown in prison for eloping with his sister-in-law. " I'll be. I wonder what he did. Put down the paper and play. It's cold. Nolt boy got killed, Tom. - Who's that? - Nolt boy, Jimmy Nolt. How did that happen? Shot with a.45-.60. That's what I shoot, a.45-.60. Shoot what, Tom? Prairie dog. - Jimmy Nolt's dead. - Yeah. Where's your horse? He's dead, too. I knew you'd be there. - You did not. - Okay. I heard the news. You still working that horse I started for you? It's about the Nolt boy. What about him? They found a rock under his head. Like those other three fellows from Brown's Hole. You seen Joe Belle around? The Association sent him up to talk to Coble. Trying to figure what they're gonna do with a child killer like Tom Horn. People think you did it. You don't understand what's going on, do you? No, I can't say as I do. What are you thinking? I'm thinking I want a drink. Whiskey, George. Leave the bottle. - Sorry I'm late. - It's all right, Charles. - Let's get started. - What'll I need, Joe? Just your writing things. Where's Tom Horn? He's over to the Interocean Hotel. What kind of condition is he in? He'll be just about where we want him by the time we get set up. Come on over here. We got a mattress laid out here for you behind the door. - Can you write okay lying down? - Can you rig me a little light? Absolutely. Got the bottom of the door planed off so you can hear real good. But you got to be real quiet. Joe, what if Tom Horn sees me in there? - You mean, will he kill you? - Yes. I'm not going to let that happen, Charles. A man like that you don't want to get mad at you. I'm going to be sitting right over there at my desk. I've got this Colt patent.44 in my vest... and a German automatic over there in the drawer... one of the new ones. What I need is... for Tom Horn to talk himself into a terrible tangle... and for you to get it down on paper. It's no good for us just to write it down later. You mean it has to be in his own words? Just like I said, Charles. Hello, Tom. Hello, Joe. I got a letter yesterday from a fellow up in Montana. What'd he want? I'm not so sure this is the spot to be talking. Got a bottle of mescal in my office, and it's quiet. Sure. You've spent some time in the hills, haven't you? Most of my life, Tom. - But the world is changing fast. - I can see that. And a man had better get with it. I've been trying to work a few things out in my mind. Staying in a hotel and being able to get a drink right away seems to help. Think you'll ever get back in them hills again? I don't know. Scares me to death. I see you're carrying a belly gun. I've never known you to do that before. Well, carrying a rifle in town and all... I got this inquiry from Montana... for a man who could come up there and see to himself... and look to a few things that-a-way... in respect to the cattle stealing going on in the Big Moon up there in that district. - What's required? - Some ability with a rifle. You know, Joe, nobody ever offered to give me an office. - Make you feel kind of special, does it? - I don't know. If I had your ability with a rifle... nobody would ever expect me to come in out of the field. As it is, I spend half my time on the railroad... handcuffed to some petty criminal, as just a delivery man. What's the best shot you ever made, Tom? I don't know. What about Mendenhour? If it was me, I'd say it wasn't much of a shot. Wouldn't you rather shoot a Sharps.50 instead of that.45-.60? Those old buffalo guns carry better, but with a.45-.60... you can get rounds at any general store. Keeps a drygulcher in business. Tom, on the killing of this kid... - that was quite a shot. - Was it? Two hundred thirteen yards. What do you know about that? What I just told you. You afraid of dying, Joe? Yes, I am. I am afraid of losing my ability to be able to come and go as I please. Lose my freedom. Not be able to get back up in those hills again. What would they do to a man... that killed a 15-year-old boy with a Winchester? I believe that man would have to die. And you believe that a.45-.60 that's got a trajectory like a rainbow... could make that shot? I know it could happen. If I'd have killed that kid... it would have been the best shot I ever made... and the dirtiest trick I ever done. Hello, Sam. I'm going to have to arrest you for the murder of Jimmy Nolt. Taking yourself kind of serious, ain't you? What are you going to do with that Winchester? We're just going to have to find out, ain't we? Yeah, I guess we are. I'll take that rifle, Tom. Hello, Earl. And the belly gun. Come on, Tom. Wait right there, Tom. Don't put that pistol in that drawer. Keep it in your pocket. You got anything in your pockets, Tom? I got some Indian stuff here... some shells in a sheepskin, a little bit of change. You ready? No, upstairs. Bill, you stay down here. I'm going to put you in this one. I know how you love those hills. You can see a little bit of them from here. Don't close that door until I get over to that window, would you? Is it true Horn worked for the Association? I've nothing to say on that. Is the Association going to pay for his defense? I told you, I have no more to say. John Coble to see you. This is Thomas Burke. He'll be your legal counsel now. Every boy needs one of those. Mr. Burke's the man to put an end to all this for you. - I ain't got no money to pay you. - I'll pay that. They're going to have you come to court very quickly. Have you ever been tried for anything before? Yeah, once. It was a military trial a long time ago. - A couple of scouts and myself. - What were you charged with? Invasion of Mexico. Tom, I have to move on with this as quick as I can. You think I killed that boy? That question will never come up between us. Why not? It's going to come up in court. When do I go to trial? They're bringing in a judge and swearing in a jury right now. I'd like to set up a time we could get together... and maybe make a preparation or two. What for? What are we going to talk about... if we don't talk about whether I killed that kid or not? Mr. Burke, I'd like to talk to Tom alone for a minute. You ever see so many bars in your life? I guess that's why they call it a jail. - I've been free all my life, John. - I know that. Look, it's damn important you don't try to break out of here. I know you can do it, but it's just admitting your guilt if you try. Christ, I can see those hills over there, but I can't touch them. Cowboys. Schoolteachers. You sure are good company. Yes, but do you care for me? That horse over there... is the only thing I've owned for a long time. He thinks the whole world of me... and I've never even given him a name. Was he good company? Yeah. - Do you care for him? - Yes, I do. Tom, you're an idiot. Yeah, I know. - What happened to your tooth there? - Chipped it. How'd you do that? Riding horses. I've been riding all my life. Get down! Get dressed. How about giving me back those Indian charms of mine? They're just sentimental value, nothing more. Earl, get Tom's Indian stuff and bring it up here, will you? Anything else you want? - Well, my rifle. - No. - How about a nice fast horse? - No. You getting all choky seeing me behind bars? God damn you. - What are these buttons for? - Just lucky. - The paper said they're charms. - Yeah, they are. - Said you believed in them. - I do. - Show me how they work. - Someday. Who are those fellows out there with those rifles? That's the National Guard. The paper said they didn't think we could hold you in jail... and they got kind of personal about it. Open this thing up, Earl. Let us in. John Coble's here to see Tom. Here you go. John brought you a suit to wear at the trial. All right, you fellows can have about 10 minutes. Come on, Earl. It's real important that you let Burke guide you in court. And you be as closed-mouthed as you can around that prosecuting attorney. - Who is he? - His name's Walter Stoll. He is effective. They say he's running for office again... and this trial will be kind of a showground for him. If he convicts you, he'll be a big hero. He needs to hang you to get elected. I'm sorry I got you into this. You could have been riding right through this two-bit town. - People been trying to kill me all my life. - I've got to tell you something. I knew the Association wanted to get rid of you... because they told me. But I just didn't know what to do. They... I didn't know nothing about... the Nolt boy... or how it happened, but... Who the hell could have done such a thing? But I know one thing. You never killed that kid. I figure folks would have to do something about me sooner or later... the frontier closed and all. I never knew anybody that knew anything but just killing and getting killed. After a while, it's all you know. Now listen, if it all goes wrong in there for me... I know you're my friend, John... and I know that you care about me. Now sit down, and I'll whip your ass at checkers. Good day. That's fine, Tom. Tom, you can step up to the counsel's table here. Earl, back over here. You boys split up. The Honorable Judge Scott. This court is now in session. Mr. Ohnhouse, you were in the next room at the time... under the orders of Marshal Belle... and you listened very carefully to the conversation... between Marshal Belle and Mr. Horn. Is that correct? Yes. Will you tell the court exactly what you took down at that time? The last thing Mr. Horn said before leaving Joe Belle's office was: "When I shot that kid... "it was the best shot I ever made... "and the dirtiest trick I ever did." I want order in this courtroom. Your witness. No questions. You may step down. The prosecution calls Mr. Tom Horn. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth... so help you God? Did you listen carefully to contents of the transcription... as read by Mr. Ohnhouse to the court? Yes, I did. And you understand that this is a record of your conversation with Marshal Belle? Well, it was "Mr. Horn said this" and "Mr. Belle said that." I don't follow. What I'm trying to get you to understand... is that that was a conversation between me and Joe Belle. I understood that. Do you? Yes, I do. Do you consider it an accurate transcription of that conversation? You'll have to ask that fellow that wrote it down. I don't know how good he was at it. Can you offer us an opinion? What did you say your name was? Walter Stoll. I'm prosecuting you for murder. Well, Mr. Stoll, I was just a little drunk. Why? Because I'd been drinking. What's your problem now? I didn't understand you. We're trying you for murder, for a capital offense. So far, no one has had much success in getting your attention. Well, I've been in jail. You've been in jail? What has that got to do with your lackadaisical response... to the questions of the court? I'm a little bored. What Prosecutor Stoll is trying to apprise you of is that... we're trying to decide whether or not... you're guilty of a crime for which you should be hung. You're gonna do what you have to do. Do you object to the assertion of Marshal Belle... that you killed Jimmy Nolt? That was your reply in the transcribed conversation. Mr. Horn? Did anybody see me kill that kid? There were not, and you know it, any witnesses. I think what the prosecutor is trying to say to you is that... we would keenly like to have you reply specifically... to the accusation that you killed this boy. You want me to say whether I did or I didn't do it? In effect, yes... although a plea of innocence has been entered. I'm not going to give you the satisfaction. Now, whether you or Stoll... or that sold-out, son-of-a-bitching marshal Joe Belle... want to see me guilty, you go right ahead. But I'm not going to give you any more satisfaction than I have to. Whether you shoot me or hang me... or take my rifle or my horse... one reason is as good as another. And I believe that, I do. That's my last word on this matter. I want order in this court. In the interest of a fair trial, I'm going to suggest... there's something about our proceedings which seem to elude Mr. Horn here. But forgiving, I'm going to suggest... that his life in the lawless parts of our country... have left him entirely unfamiliar with the processes of the law. And I strongly suggest... that someone who is interested in his welfare... educate him in our ways. I'm not sure it is necessary to point out... that it is his life which is in question here. It's cold in the night. I've been kind of down on my luck lately, and I want to try to revive it. This may sound kind of off-center to you... but I want to take my Indian charms and set them under my bunk tonight. So when you come in the morning to give me my breakfast, I'd appreciate it... if you didn't look at them. I'll probably be asleep... because I'll be up most of the night, thinking. Sure, Tom. Two bourbons. What I'm trying to prove, Philip... is that criminals like Tom Horn are not immune to prosecution. The newspapers and the legal profession... are going to set things straight in this country. And our system of justice insures that... killers like Tom Horn get exactly what they deserve. And I'm going to see that it happens. Where are the rifles in here? The sheriff said we can't keep them in here no longer. - You got a gun? - No. You going to kill me? You and I are walking out of here, and you're going to smile. Now smile! Keep smiling. Smile. Listen, I've got a.41 caliber in your back. You damn fools. What are you trying to do, kill him? Shit. You damn fools. Has the jury arrived at a verdict? Yes, we have, Your Honor. The jury finds the defendant, Tom Horn, guilty. The court finds you guilty of murder as charged. You are sentenced to be hanged by the neck until dead... between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 9:00 a. m... on November 20, 1903. May the Lord have mercy on your soul. Someday, you're going to have to pay for your way of life, Tom. You're a bad man and I know it. And if I let you talk me out of it, I'll be lost forever. And my adventures in this life won't mean anything... because you will have seduced my soul... and drawn me into your world. Goodbye, Tom. Has his weight been varying much here in jail? I don't believe so. It's stayed about the same. - Do you know how tall he is? - I ain't sure. All right, Tom. Step out. Up on the scales. What's this for? I'm designing your gallows, Mr. Horn. I've got to get the weights exactly right. If this thing works the way I designed it... you should fall absolutely straight, stop, and make a half-turn to the right. - Will I be alive or dead? - When? When I make that half-turn to the right. You should be dead. Nobody wants to spring the trap on you. Mr. Julian here is designing something special for us. The trap is water operated. Christ, you ain't going to drown me, are you? No. You just step onto the platform... and your weight will activate a water valve... that finally springs the trap. All right, step back inside. Do I spring that trap myself? Exactly. Makes me feel like I'm committing suicide. You suppose that's what I've been doing all these years, Sam? Don't ask me that, Tom. Bring the scales. Come on, Mr. Julian. Tom, it's time. I'm gonna have to strap you up, Tom. Earl, I'm sorry I busted your head so hard against those bars. That's all right, Tom. This is Father J. P. Rank. - How do you do? - Fine, Tom. You? - How long you had that Bible? - Twenty-eight years. Got her about bucked out yet? I think so. - You ready? - Yeah. - I understand you're getting married, son. - Yes, I am, Mr. Horn. You take good care of her, now. Right there, Tom. Keep your nerve, Sam, because I'm going to keep mine. All right. Tom, step back on the trap. There. Sam, I've never seen... such a pasty-faced bunch of sheriffs in my life. - You wouldn't ever forget me, would you, Bobby? - Diane, I love you. I want you to find a woman, a woman who disappeared 40 years ago. She worked in a club on Hotel Street. - She was a hooker? - She was also my wife. - He hired me to find you. - Don't toy with me, especially about Bobby. - Rick, stop him! - Hey! Hey, wait a minute! [ Man ] What's the matter? It's not cold. [ Woman ] Bobby, it's cold! Come on, Diane. [ Woman Screeches ] [ Man Talking, Indistinct ] [ Both Laughing ] [ Bobby ] What's the matter? [ Diane Screeches ] Bobby! Oh, I'm gonna get you. No. It's cold! [ Bobby ] Come on, Diane. Let's go swimming. [ Screeches ] [ Giggling ] Diane, you're gonna be at sea before Jessie even realizes you've left the club. Jessie doesn't scare me. Well, if it's Dutch-- It's you, Bobby. Diane, I love you, and I'm gonna marry you. That's what scares me. All of this is just-- It's all too good to be true, and I just keep thinking that something's gonna happen to spoil it. Like what? I don't know. That's because nothing's gonna happen. In two hours, we're gonna be married, and you'll be on the boat to San Diego. And when I join you next month, we're gonna have the rest of our lives to raise beautiful little girls... just like you... and nasty little boys just like me. Bobby, if something did go wrong, you wouldn't ever forget me, would you? Will you just stop it and listen to me? I love you, and nothing's gonna go wrong. I won't let it. You understand, Diane? I won't let it. I love you, Bobby. Hey. [ Chuckles ] I have to get back to the club. Hey. Come on, now. You don't want me to be late on the night I'm gonna elope, do you? Diane, why do you have to go? Why can't we just get out-- Bobby. Bobby, I have to go back to the club. If I don't, Jessie'll be suspicious. Don't you worry, honey. No man is ever gonna lay a hand on me again except you. I swear it. Come on. Let's go. Okay. ? [ Car Radio: "Moonlight Serenade'"] Do you want my jacket? Mm-hmm. Okay. Come on, honey. [ Radio Announcer ] That was the magic of Glenn Miller's "Moonlight Serenade" emanating... from the beachfront ballroom of the Royal Hawaiian Hotel. Temperature in Honolulu 7 4 degrees, with only 1 8 days left till Christmas. It's gonna be a balmy, beautiful Sunday. Now let's join the king of swing, Benny Goodman, "Stompin' at the Savoy. " ? ["Stompin' At The Savoy'"] ? [ Fades ] Mr. Caine? Magnum. I appreciate your meeting me like this. Well, to be honest with you, sir, I was rather flattered. I've never met a justice of the Supreme Court before. You haven't met one yet. I haven't accepted the nomination, and even if I do, it'll have to be confirmed by Congress. Well, from what I hear, that's just a formality, sir. Well, perhaps. After Robin Masters recommended you, I, uh, got some friends in Washington to pull out your military record. Makes for pretty good reading. Personally, I find it rather boring, sir. Annapolis, class of'67. Three tours in Vietnam. Twice wounded. Mr. Caine, did you come here for my help, or are you trying to get me to re-up? - I need your help. - Well, pulling my 201 file isn't exactly a polite way to ask for it. I had to find out what kind of a man you were, just how far I could trust you. The only recommendation I had was Robin's, and let's face it, he is a novelist. And you thought he might've lied to you... the way you lied to him? Mr. Caine, Robin said you were looking for an old war buddy you thought might still be living in the Islands. You wouldn't have pulled my service records for something as simple as that. Magnum, I, uh-- I did lie to Robin. I want you to find a woman, a woman who disappeared 40 years ago. - Forty years? - And you've gotta find her in the next 2 4 hours. [ Chuckles ] As long as it's not something impossible. I don't blame you for being angry at me, but unless you find Diane by tomorrow night, I'll have to decline the nomination. Come on, Mr. Caine. What's she got on you? She, uh--She worked in a club on Hotel Street before the war. She was a hooker? She was also my wife. [ Magnum Narrating ] It sounded like something out of a bad Robin Masters novel. In fact, for a second, I thought the whole thing might've been one of Robin's jokes. But Robert Caine was a nominee to the Supreme Court, even if I did think he might be lying through his judicial teeth. Besides, driving a Ferrari, it couldn't hurt to know a judge. I'm sorry, sir. You wanna fill me in? About a week after my nomination, I received a telegram. It read, ""Congratulations, Bobby." It was signed, ""Love, Diane." - You sure it was from her? - Positive. The wire came from Honolulu, and she's the only Diane I've ever known. Did she ask for money? Diane would never do that. Things were different between us. She was different. Special. We were married. I don't care how long ago it's been. Diane would never blackmail me. I don't understand the problem, sir. Why don't you call the president and accept the nomination? I don't dare take the chance. - When's the last time you saw her? - A few hours before the Japanese... bombed Pearl Harbor. Now, that, brah, is what I call a good-looking wahine. She sure was. What do you mean, ""was"? Is she dead or something? Or something. [ Man ] I don't think you understand. I'm John Sculley of the Newport Sculleys. [ Rick ] Mr. Sculley, I'm sure in Newport, you make the tide go in and out, but here at the King Kamehameha Club, you have to be a member, which you're not, or the guest of a member, which you aren't, in order to use the facilities. And anyway, sir, it's after 6:00. It requires a jacket here. What about him? Hey, didn't I tell you to make all the deliveries in the rear? Right. I think I understand. How much is it to join your little club for an afternoon? Don't even try it. I was gonna buy you one drink, as a courtesy, at the club. Now I want you out right now, or I'm gonna throw you out. You and who else? Me. - Get me a drink. - Coming right up. Thanks. That's all right. I just didn't wanna see you kill anyone. Besides, I need your help. I gotta find her. She used to work Hotel Street. What club? Wiki-Wiki. Wiki-Wiki? I never heard of it. Well, this was some time ago. I don't think anybody's seen her since December. December? 1 941 . 1 94-- 1 941 ? Aloha. I'm looking for Maku. You know him? What do you want Maku for? Rick sent me. Thomas Magnum. Kiki. Maku's my grandfather. He's also an old fool. Boy, that's tough swimming. I don't know what he's trying to prove. Swimming to Laie Point and back is 1 0 miles. He do that often? Every time he feels old. He's in trouble. No, he's not. Are you crazy? You nearly drowned. Hush, child. Have you lost your senses? Is that the way to speak to your grandfather in front of a stranger? - Not many men can time a wave like that. Tom Magnum. - Maku. Kiki, go get us some beer. Hey, brahda, you married? Me? No. I'd make a terrible husband. Huh. All men say that. Even I say that, and I have 1 0 children and 43 grandchildren. But you didn't come all the way out here just to hear an old man bragging. Well, Rick sent me. I'm looking for a woman. You don't look like you need any help, but the best one I got just went in for the beer. Oh, no. See, you don't understand. I'm not just lookin' for any woman. I mean, not that Kiki's any woman. She's beautiful. I'm sure she's a special, sweet girl. Hey, brahda, just kidding. Just kidding. Who's this wahine, this woman, you're looking for? - Did you ever hear of the Wiki-Wiki Club? - Sure. I was the bartender there... from '39 to '43. Good club. High-class wahines. Not like the girls working the streets today. - Did you know many of the women who worked there before the war? - Hey, brahda, I knew them all. - You know what I mean. - How 'bout this one? Her name was Diane Westmore. She disappeared in the attack in '41 . Sorry, brahda. Don't know her. You sure? She worked there the same time you did. Lots of girls worked the club. They come. They go. Some stay only for couple of days. How come you looking for her anyways, somebody been gone that long? A relative died, left her quite a bit of money. Here you are, Papa. If we want any money around here, I gotta catch the bus to go to work. Hey, maybe you can give my Kiki one ride. Take the beer with you. I'll call some of my friends from the old days. And you come back tonight, maybe I'll have something. Fair enough. Thanks. You get some rest, okay? Sure. Hey, stop fussing over me like I'm an old man. If I like, I can go swim all the way out there and back again. Well, you are an old man, but I love you anyway. Aloha. Aloha, Papa. [ Phone Ringing ] Mueller. [ Man Speaking, Indistinct ] What'd you tell him? [ Man Continues, Indistinct ] Okay. I'll tell her. [ Woman ] Oh, uh, don't worry about dinner. I may not be back till 1 0:00. [ Woman #2 ] Yes, Mrs. Pauley. Maku just called me. Oh, how is he? Worried. Someone just visited him, looking for Diane Westmore. [ Magnum Narrating ] Faced with a tough problem, some people drink. Some eat. Me, I swim. I was pretty sure Maku recognized Diane, but when he suggested he call some friends and get back to me, I decided not to push it. - [ Barks ] - Hi, guy. Where's... Apollo? Zeus. Apollo. Patrol. [ Dogs Bark ] Enjoy your swim? [ Chuckling ] Oh, whatever it is, Higgins, the answer is no. My, we are suspicious, aren't we? I won't give up the Ferrari. I wouldn't dream of asking you to, old boy. I won't move out of the guesthouse. Well, I should bloody well hope not. And I won't let someone move in either. Never entered my mind. You want me to take out your sister? She's married and living in Sussex with four monstrous children. All right. I give up, Higgins. What is it you want from me? Are you, by any chance, the T. Magnum who played on the American bridge team... in Sao Paulo in '72? Say good-bye, Higgins, because the answer is no. I will not make a fourth for your Wednesday afternoon bridge club. - I don't play with amateurs. - We are all Life Masters. - Well, then, you're better than I am. - Magnum, I wouldn't stoop to ask if it weren't a bloody emergency. - What happened? Your fourth die? - Yes. Higgins, uh, I'm sorry. Look. I was just joking. I quite understand. Look. I am on an investigation, but if I can wrap it up by tomorrow afternoon, I'll play. Splendid. Now, what can I do to assist you in your work? What do you know about Robert Caine? Well, only what I've read. A rather obscure judge till his recent nomination to the Supreme Court. However, those who should know speak very highly of him. - Shall I pull some clippings? - That would be very nice. Thank you. - But I have to leave in an hour. - I'll have them ready for you and warm up the Ferrari. Splendid. Higgins, who died? Mr. Blackmore. Heart attack. Higgins? Who's playing for Mrs. Blackmore? Well, no one. The funeral's today. The game's tomorrow. What a strange little man. [ Magnum Narrating ] I really had to hand it to Higgins. In less than an hour, he'd dug up four articles on Caine, gassed the Ferrari and packed a lunch. After bridge tomorrow, Zeus and Apollo might be having me for lunch. But until then-- Caine's life was a Horatio Alger story. Orphaned at birth, he ran away to sea at 1 4, sailed freighters until the war, then enlisted. He fought in Europe and was decorated for bravery twice. After the war, law school on the G.I. Bill and a lucrative practice in New York and so on, until he was nominated for the Supreme Court. [ Engine Revving ] All the articles read the same: Robert Caine was an amazing man. I wasn't sure a brief marriage to a prostitute who disappeared 40 years ago... was going to do him any real damage, even if it did leak. Not with his record. But I couldn't help feeling there was more to it than that. Right on time. Have you found her? Let's go for a ride, Mr. Caine. [ Engine Revving ] Well? I haven't found her yet. Well, where are we going? On the phone, you led me to believe-- That I had a lead? You remember a bartender used to work the Wiki-Wiki? Big Hawaiian named Maku? - No. I don't think so. Did he know Diane? - He says no, but I think yes. Are we gonna see him? No. How 'bout a piano player called Tickler? Well, I remember somebody at the club who played piano, but I don't recall his name. You know, Mr. Caine, it sounds like you didn't know anybody there, and nobody there knew you except Diane. It was a long time ago. I told you the club wasn't one of my hangouts. I met Diane at the beach. Sure, I knew people, but I don't remember their names, even their faces. Look, there's only one person I am interested in meeting, and that's Diane. Now, if you haven't found her, where are you taking me? To jar your memory. ? [ Radio: Distant ] [ Engine Shuts Off] - Why'd you bring me here? - Last place you saw Diane was here. No, no. The last time I saw Diane was on the dock. I told you that. You know, Magnum, you keep testing me, and I don't like it. And you're not telling me everything you know. Come on, Mr. Caine. It's tough enough finding a woman who disappeared 40 years ago without my own client sandbagging me. Magnum, there is nothing more I can tell you that'll help you find Diane. Nothing. You just have to believe me. Now, uh, take me back to my hotel, please. [ Engine Starts, Revs ] ? [ Honky-tonk Piano ] ? [ Piano Continues ] [ Distant Laughter, Chattering ] [ Door Opens ] [ Woman ] Going for a ride, kiddo? You know my rules, Bobby. It's after curfew. You weren't thinking of leaving, were you, Diane? Not with two years left on your contract. You can't hold her, Jessie. Think not, kiddo. Of course, if you want to buy her contract, it's worth at least 20 grand. But I like you, Bobby. I'll let you have her for 1 5. You haven't got 1 5? That's too bad. [ Chuckles ] Well, I suppose I'm just gonna have to keep her. Well, of course you can visit Diane... for a more reasonable fee anytime she isn't occupied. - Dutch is gonna have to kill me, Jessie. - That's up to you, Bobby. Bobby, no. Get in the car. Diane, get in the car! No! [ Man ] There's a fight.! - All right, Jessie. I'll stay. - Sailor! [ Both Grunting ] - No. Please. - Yah! Yah! [ Yells ] [ Crying ] Bobby. - [ Yells ] - Dear God. Please. [ Agonized Yell ] [ Diane ] Bobby.! [ Diane Screams ] Bobby? Come on, Diane. Get in the car. Come on. You killed him! It's okay. [ Engine Revs ] Damn it, you've killed him! You killed him.! You killed him. You killed him. You killed him. [ Magnum ] I don't know. Something's not right here. Thanks, Moki. It's screwy, Rick. Caine's lying. Maku's lying. - Hell, I'll bet when I meet this guy Tickler, he'll be lying. - Do me- - Do me a favor. Finish this beer upstairs in my office, quick. Huh? Higgins is here. It's after 6:30. If he catches you in here without a jacket, he's gonna string me up alive. No, he won't. What? I can guarantee ya, five gets you 50, he's gonna lay that old line on me that he's on the board of directors. He's gonna tell me to throw your butt out of here. Money's up. [ Sighs ] You're on. Hi, Hig. And how is your investigation progressing? Oh, not too well. - Are you sure there's nothing more I can do to help? - [ Rick ] To help? No. Positive. Well, if there is anything, please don't hesitate to ask. - Put Magnum's beer on my tab. - I always do. - Tomorrow at 3:00? - I'll try. Thank you. You believe that? You're catching flies, guys. Give that guy a drink. ? [ Lounge Piano ] ? [ Piano Continues ] How you doin'? Oh, fine, thank you. You Tickler? Yes, sir. Well, Rick sent me. He said you used to work the Wiki-Wiki Club on Hotel Street during the war. [ Chuckles ] Sure did. Great club. Lot of action. Lot of fun. Lines for everything. Even to hear my music. Times sure have changed. - She work there? - [ Tickler ] Oh. Pretty lady. Yeah. You remember her? You know, her face does look kind of familiar. Her name's Diane Westmore. Yeah. Diane. Nice girl. I remember when she died. Lot of people cried. She died? That's right. During the war. The big one. In a car accident with some flyboy from Wheeler, I think. - You sure it was Diane Westmore? - About as sure as an old man can get. Is she related to you? No. Never met her. Anyway, thanks a lot. Thank you. Could I play anything particular for you? Oh, no, thanks. I'd love to some other time, though. Good. Come back again. Now, don't go doin' that, Mrs. Pauley. You've done enough. I want to, Tickler. ? [ Piano Stops ] Well, I'm gonna have to earn it. I don't know. I have to think adout it. In any case, it can't go very far. He has no education. He is a dit uncouth. And you are not a woman. You know, Renato, you're a real killjoy. Are you OK? You do everything to hurt me, Renato. Don't exaggerate. I'm not exaggerating. Let me tell you something. I've had it with you. I've had it up to here! And I'm getting the hell out of here. I've had it. All right. Go! Good-dye! I can't take any more! A little trout for my little princess. What's wrong? Why are you crying? Is it that dastard who's making you cry? I'll kill him! Luigi! Renato! Hello. Renato. Hello. Don't scream. Not a word. The others are out there. Just act natural. That's fine. Just like that. You dastard! Who's that? Some nut. Come on! What adout Aldin? So the microfilm got to Italy... to the top of the mountain on its own. I don't give a damn adout the microfilm. I just want to find Aldin. You detter give a damn. It may de our only means of getting him dack. Why? If it is the list of their agents... we'll know exactly where to find him. Make him shut up! I can't make him talk and shut up at the same time. I've had enough of this! Enough! I was giving him a truth serum. We've given it to him three times... and all he admitted was that he was a homosexual. Thirty cc's of Pentothal to have him say he's homosexual. It's a deginning, no? We've already wasted a lot of time. Mougeotte. Dear Mougeotte. Tell us where the microfilm is... or I'll put a dullet in your head! I don't know where it is! I don't even know what microfilm is. I don't know! Telephone. What? No need to look further. They have it. They've arrested Martin and Dupré. Bastards! They've infiltrated our ring. You sold it to the other side. Excuse me? You chose the wrong camp. Too dad. No! Don't kill me! I didn't do anything! The house is surrounded. You haven't got a chance. Give yourselves up. On your feet. Hold on just a second. Where are your manners? If you try something, I'll kill her! Don't make it worse for yourselves. Come out with your hands up. We won't hurt you. Aldin, I'm here! Don't worry anymore. Your Renato is here. You're gonna ruin everything! Renato, I want to go home! Don't worry. I'll take you home. Shut up, for God's sake! Get him out of here. Don't talk to me in that tone of voice. Don't get so excited. I'll keep still. Tie him up! Listen to me. The dastards took a shot at me! Ask for a plane. In exchange for what? For that. For that thing? Would you exchange a plane for that? A child, a woman, a priest, yes, dut that? Pretend I'm not here. It doesn't matter. You have two minutes... or we'll open fire. Come and get us, you dastards! They wouldn't shoot. After all, there's a hostage in here. Are you cold? I'm afraid. Forty seconds! Don't shoot! Aldin's in there! Get out of here! Who does he think he is? Thirty seconds! So I'm not even a hostage. I'm nothing at all. I'm not the Blue Angel. I'm not a princess. I'm not even a hostage. Good, then. Excuse me. Where are you going? I'm going to Renato. Ready up there? What's he doing now? I'm going to Aldin. Are you OK, Aldin? I'm all right, Renato, and you? It's so deautiful. Yes. The Secretary of State? Yes. Put him through. Good morning, Mr. Secretary. Yes. I'm fine. Fine, thank you, Mr. Secretary. Me? Me, Mr. Secretary? But why me? It's the deputy. Sorry. Gentlemen, your courage has enadled us... to put an end to a dangerous spy ring. The government has asked me... to express its thanks and its congratulations. A photo of the three of you. A photo? Come. Come this way. How's this? A little closer. Closer? I'm close enough. Yes. Well, sit down. There. Thank you. No pictures! [Explosion] [Fire crackling] [Rapid gunfire] [Bomb exploding] Okay, okay. All right, hey... Open up... oh. [Distant gunfire] [Explosion] [Gunfire exchange] Okay, come on, come on. When'd you attack lompard? [Gurgling] When you attack lompard? - July... July 31st. - Good. That's what our spy said. [Groaning] [Gunfire] [Screaming] [Groaning] [Gunfire] They're over there... Come on! Hey, you, give him a hand there. Oh, Christ! Let's get outta here, huh? [Rapid gunfire] [Indistinct chatter] Let's move... come on! All right, let's get the fuck outta here. This way! Hey... hustle, hustle! Let's go... let's go! Come on! Take 'em up... Let's get out of here. Song: I have been a witness to the spilling of the blood seen a lifeless body lying in the mud I walked away alive with a wounded heart but I had to heal it I had to heal it till I couldn't feel it anymore I have heard the cry of my brothers goin' down could not turn away I could hear no other sound I have watched the pain through my wounded eyes but I had to heal it I had to heal it till I couldn't feel it anymore and the anger of the night I remember it so well beneath the midnight sun lord I walked the edge of hell kept all those memories in a wounded mind but I had to heal it I had to heal it till I couldn't feel it anymore they say there's a reason I'm told there is a rhyme but tell me who will answer who will pay this time I was left with a wounded soul but I had to heal it I had to heal it till I couldn't feel it anymore I had to heal it I had to heal it till I couldn't feel it anymore. Michael Jefferson. And for your time, forty hours. Amount, 207. State tax, $17.00. Witholding tax, $32.25. Here you go, Michael. This week, there's a little raise. You're a good worker. I wish it could be more. Thank you, Mr. Hoffman. Hey, Mike, what's goin' on? Hey, how you doin', John, buddy? How about some coffee, man? Who's buyin'? Well, uh, I will, if, uh, you push this down to stall 34. You're on. I knew I could convince you. Okay, I'll meet you over there. You got it. Come on! Didn't tell me it was this heavy. Hey! Hey, what the fuck are you guys doin' in here, huh? You got a problem, buddy? Uh, no-no problem. No, you ain't got no problem, right? That's right. Just be cool, motherfucker. Yo, Bobby... Yo, yo, come here, man. Hold this one. Come on. Now, I advise you two to take that beer out the trunk of your car. And I advise you, smiley, to put that knife away. You advise? That's a pretty big word for a nigger. - Yeah. - Oh, fuck! [Grunting] [Box cracking] You okay, buddy? Yeah, sure. Well, let's get rid of these turkeys and clean up this mess, huh? - Hey. - Hmm? Thanks. You okay? Yeah, sure. Hey, how do you feel about goin' to shoot some pool? Well, I wanna see my kids before they go off to school. Sure. I'll catch you in 20 minutes. Yeah, see ya later. [Screaming] Daddy, daddy! [Laughing] Hi, honey... come here. How you doin', big man? - Fine. - You bein' a good boy? Yeah. Gimme five... All right. You be a good boy, okay? - 'Kay. - All right, Emily. All right... Have a good day. I'm gonna go have a beer with, uh, John. Okay. You want anything from the store? - Mm-mm. - You sure? - No... positive. - Come here. Take care, okay? Okay, bye. Come on, come on. Let's get ready for school. Oh, damn! [Groaning] [Gagging] Now, be careful, okay? Oh, wow... There you go! That's a good boy... Come on! Oh, my. John, what are you doin' here? Hi, John... hi, John! How you doing? We gotta go home. Let's go for a walk. Bobby, it's time to go. [Indistinct chatter] Okay. You be a good boy. Be careful. Maria, come here... Sit down. I gotta talk to you. Early this morning, Michael was mugged. What? His neck has been broken. God... And it seems that he's gonna be paralyzed. No! Possibly for the rest of his life. [Crying] [Machines beeping] I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. What, is this some kind of joke or something? What are you doin', what are you doin'? I'm lookin' for some friends of yours. One of them's a little guy. Wears a beret, has a beard. The other one's a big, stocky guy. Ugly, looks like an animal... You know who I'm talking about? I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. - No? - No, uh-uh. Huh... huh? Early this morning, a friend of mine got mugged. I think they did it. A black man, this morning? You know anything about that? No, I don't know anything about it. Wait, no, wait... no, no! Uh... now. Tell me where they are right now. Uh, we got a... We got a clubhouse over on barton and throop, on the... on the second floor, okay? That's it. - You sure? - Yeah. No... If you're lyin', I'll be back. No, I'm not lying to you. [Panting] I'm not lyin' to you! [Music playing] [Group chatter] [Girls laughing] [Music playing] Come on... come on. [Shouting and laughing] [Laughter] Come on, baby. [Screaming] Fuckin' animal. I said, move... Do it... get out! I'll blow your fuckin' head off. Get your girlfriends outta here. Get outta here! You're makin' a mistake, man. You're makin' a mistake, motherfucker! Get the fuck outta here. Come on, move! You hear me... get out! You, what are you doin' over there? Move... get over there. Get out! Ah! [Gunfire] Now, what did you want to say, fuck-head, huh? I'm sorry about this morning, all right? I mean, we didn't hurt you! Shit, man. That guy was just a nigger. That nigger was my best friend, you motherfucker. No! [Screaming] [Gunfire] [Sirens wailing] Where's O'Malley? - Pukin'. - Pukin'? Yeah, it was pretty bad. One of them was still alive when we got here, even though the rats had eaten off half his face. Another psycho killer, just what we needed around here. Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch. What do you mean? Somebody offed some of the ghetto ghouls? Is that what this bullshit's about? You check it out. I'll see ya down at the station house. See ya later. Hey, Dalton, you want a TV? [Police radio chatter] [Sirens wailing] Hey, Stevie, I don't wanna keep you awake or anything, you know. Thank you very much! Hey, Stevie, it ain't so bad! Yeah, let's go. Swing it in there, Steve! These comics are terrible. Whatever happened to "moon mullins,". "Maggie and Jake," and "buck Rodgers?" Do you remember "buck Rodgers?" Nah, you don't remember "buck Rodgers." I just spoke to Washington, and they're... shh! Excuse us, hon'. We got a little business to talk over. Why don't you finish your breakfast out by the pool? I'll join you in a moment, babe. Sit down. What the hell's the matter with you? You know better than to talk in front of her. The price of beef is going up too fast in New York. They feel a congressional investigation is imminent. So, what do they want from me? A four cent drop for the next six months. [Laughing] Six months, huh? Do you know how much that'll cost me? Hey, you seem like a smart, young man. You tell me, what am I paying' those guys down there for, anyway, huh? Can't they do something about it? They are doing something about it. They're giving you a warning that could save us a lot of aggravation. You can't afford to be too greedy. It's not like the old days. All right, all right, all right. Work it out! But don't you give me no crap about the old days. At least, in the old days, you could understand the comics. Today, all they got is cosmic ducks and star shit. Now, you get outta here. Don't you come back until you have something I wanna hear. Okay, Mr. pontivini. Whatever you say. - Hi, tom. - Hey, Ralph. Very good, thank you, very good. Listen, Ralph, uh... I'm lookin' for the girls that were with those, uh, ghetto ghouls on the night they were killed. You heard anything, or do you know anything? I only know one of them... candy. She works the trucks at the market. Tonight, she's wearin', uh, green hot pants and a black, sparkly blouse. That's it. That's fantastic... Thank you. Hey, uh, Dalton. I got a few parking tickets. I'll take care of 'em. Thank you. Hey, how you been? - Hey, you. - Hey, how you doin'? How are ya? Hi... I miss ya. What you thinkin'? Uh... you wanna get lucky tonight? Yeah, how much? The usual. What do ya say? - Get in. - Yeah? - Yeah. - Okay, stay there. Don't move, okay... I'm comin' around. Stay right there. - I'm right here. - Okay. The regular is $10. French is $15. And anything special will cost you $25, okay? Yeah, baby. Handcuffs, that'll be $35, okay? Uh, they're for you, baby. I'm a cop, and you're under arrest. Oh, shit, what kinda shit is this, man? You know this is entrapment, man. Aw, my man is the man, holy shit. What the fu... Who the fuck are you now? Uh, what-what's um... Where am I now? What, uh... who... What's this room? I don't understand. I never seen this place before. Nobody ever did anything. [Indistinct mumbling] Uh, is this... is... Where's everybody else? What do you want? I want the person who killed the ghouls. I don't know nothin' about that. I can't tell you... I don't know nothin' about that. I can't... I can't tell you what I don't... Wha... Those are my things. Um, do... are you... Are you new? Is this... um... Who-who-who... Who... where... Uh, gee, if i... How 'bout it? What's up? Do-do you know many, um... [crying] Wait! Please, don't go. [Crying] It's up to you. I'll talk. I'll tell ya. What did he look like? [Monitors beeping] I think it's time for us to go. Listen, would you wait for me outside? Okay. I'll be there in a minute. I found the guys that did this to you... And I've taken care of it. It was strange. It was like we were back in 'nam. It didn't matter if it was right or wrong. I just did it. And don't worry about Maria and the kids, 'cause I figured out a way to get some money for them. Don't worry. I'll be careful. Listen, do you want me to turn this television on here... just blink your eyes if you do. I'll get the nurse to come in and look after you, okay? Just hold on. Please. Focus! Get him! Come on... get him! Come on, Charlie... Get him! Thatta boy... get him! [Laughter] Hey, hey, that's it... Come on. Oh, oh, oh, oh! Come on... How about that, Tony? Not bad, huh? Come on, Scotty. You're beautiful, you know that? What a beautiful dog... Here you go, huh? Hey, somebody tries to break in there, they're gonna end up with a bloody stump, huh? Come on, baby... I'm gonna take you to the greatest steakhouse in town. Hey, how'd you like that dog, huh? Good evening. Oh, hello, there, Greg... How are ya? Will you be having the usual this evening? Oh, yeah, that'd be fine. Fine. Hey, Charlie, before I start a new meal, I better get rid of the one I had last night, huh? [Laughter] Excuse me, hon. You take good care of her, you hear? Don't worry, boss, I will. [Rustling] [Toilet flushing] [Gasping] Charlie! Tommy! Hey, you! I know you're out there, somewhere! What are you doin'? What the hell are you doin', huh? What the... oh, Jesus Christ, no, no. Hey, look... Hey, listen, pal. Wait a minute, wait a minute! I wanna talk to you. I wanna talk to you... look. What are you doing, huh? Listen, who hired you... Who hired you? What are you doin'? Wait a minute, wait a minute. You're not gonna get away with it, you hear me? Holy shit... what are you, crazy, or something? Hey-hey, you don't wanna fucking talk to me? What are you doin'? Hey, leave that alone, huh? Oh, Jesus Christ, hold it... take it easy. Don't do it, don't do it. Hold it... no, no, no. Holy shit. Holy... hey, wait a minute. Look, what do you want? Look, I'll make any kinda deal with you. What the hell do you want? Hey, listen, who put you up to this, huh? That-that caputo guy, huh? Carmine caputo? You're not gonna get away with it. Do me a favor, huh? Listen... Oh, Jesus Christ. You see the thing is, my friend needs the money you've taken out of his pocket all these years. [Chuckling] Hey, hey punk, that's easy. Twenty, thirty thousand dollars... I'll give you anything you want. Just get me the hell down, ya hear? Hey, hold it, hold it. Hold it, please. Now where's your house? It's over in englewood, new Jersey... 26 ocean road. How do I get in? That's easy. I'll give ya key, huh? This one here is the front door. The alarm system... Be my guest. Where's the safe? It's the first room, right behind the kitchen. You can't miss it. It's to the right. What's the combination? No, wait a minute, okay. Okay, pal, hold it, hold it. Look, it's 14 to the right, then you go twice around to the left 'til you come to 22... And then back to zero. What about the bodyguards and your lady friend? Those two bums, that fuckin' whore... They took off. Is there anything else I should know? Hell, no... You kiddin' me? Hey, look, I swear. If you're lyin', I'll be back. Hold on! You gotta be kiddin', buddy, I got your message. This fuckin' guy's crazy, man. Wait until I get that fuckin' Johnny and Tony... I'm gonna cut them both off. Somebody get me out of here! Get me out! [Mourning dove calling] [Dog barking] [Dog growling] [Electric knife whirring] [Dog whining] [Coughing] [Water running] Hey, wait-wait a minute... No, no, what are you doin'? Are you crazy... Don't do that! Stop it! Jesus Christ, don't! Please, please, don't do that. Don't, don't! [Screaming] [Collective chatter] [Monitors beeping] Dalton... I didn't know you were a friend of the family. Hey, I didn't put him there. I'm tryin' to find the guy who did. Mm, sorry, I don't know why I said that. That's okay. I probably can't get anything out of him anyway, huh? I don't think so. Dalton. Uh, I-I'm sorry I'm so sarcastic. Well, that's okay. I guess we've both had a long day. Hey, you hungry? Yeah. What kind of food do you like? Anything. Like, you want a picnic? Ha... are you serious? Sure, why not? Why not, indeed. Cheers. [Giggling] This is really romantic... cheers. Is that pouilly fume? - Pouilly fume? - Um-hmm. I don't think I have... I've had pouilly fuisse. What do I do with the bones? - Back there. - Really? Yeah, the squirrels love 'em. Do you know that I lived in New York for most of my life, and I've never been to central park at night. [Whistling] [Indistinct chatter] How you doin', mama? - You goin' out? - I ain't goin' out. If you wanna let someone come in, we can do some business, man. What do I have to do? It's a hundred bucks, baby. You don't ask questions... come on. Cute. [Heavy breathing] There's this client of mine. He likes to do young boys. That's our specialty around here. This one also wants to be done by a chick at the same time. That's where you come in. Not me, man. I don't get involved with chicken hawks. I think you're pretty sick... I'm goin'. Hey, this guy's a good customer of mine. I told him I'd get him a chick, cunt. You ain't goin' nowhere. What's goin' on, here? I've been waitin' twenty minutes. - Let me go! - Shut up, bitch! She ain't bad. Yeah, she's the chick, all right, but she don't wanna do it. Well, shit, I'll go somewhere else. Now, now, wait a minute. If we discipline her a little, she'll be glad to do it. You'd like to watch that, wouldn't you? - Yeah. - No! [Whimpering] [Laughing] Eh, can I, uh... yeah, but it's gonna cost you extra. Yeah, all right. Go get your toy. No, ah! [Whimpering] No... no! No, no. [Gasping] No, no. Oh, please! [Screaming] Do you have to get up early? I'm supposed to have the day off, but, uh, you never can tell. What's your day like? So far, so good. Yes, Al, we're ready on the floor. Twenty seconds to air. Mic up, over there. Sit down, here we go, in ten... Five, four, three, two... good morning, I'm rodger grimsby. Here now, the news. Early today, the grisly remains of a reputed meat mobster, gino pontivini, were found on the floor of a warehouse in the South Bronx, beneath a huge meat grinding machine. Now police initially presumed this to be the work of a rival mob. However, a letter dropped off, apparently, late last night at eyewitness news, indicates another possibility. I quote from the letter. "The people of New York have been terrorized" "by criminals for too long." "Politicians have stood idly by" "as thugs and killers have taken over" "our streets, our parks, our lives." "As of today, this will no longer be true." "Gino pontivini will not be the last." The letter is signed, "the exterminator." In other news the nuclear regulatory commission came under fire once again... elections are just two months away. We really don't need this bullshit. Can you take care of it? Well, what do you want me to do? I think the country would be better off if this lunatic were brought to justice. I see. Arrested, brought to trial. That's not necessarily what I had in mind. I didn't think so. The trial might raise some embarrassing issues. The president's campaign promises, for example. An administration that hasn't brought about law and order for the last four years shouldn't be given a second chance. I asked you if you could take care of it. I'll take care of it. But it would be a lot easier if the New York police cooperate with us. I'll give their commissioner a call. [Collective chatter] Cocaine, joints in bags, nickel bags, man, speed... check it out, check it out. Check it out. Hey, check it out... No headphones. Yeah, fuck you, man. Hi. Hi. Goin' out? Twenty dollars for me, five for the room. No. Fifteen for me, five for the run. How old are you? Twenty. You'll catch a cold in that costume. Nah. Where's the room? [Distant shouting] You probably know the rules. Five dollars a half hour, five dollars each additional half, ten dollars deposit, I'll give you back five if you're out on time. Clean sheets five bucks extra, five bucks deposit on the sheets. You want the sheets? Yeah. You want the sheets? Oh, yeah, yeah, we gotta have the sheets. Uh, what does that all add up to? Twenty-five bucks. These are clean ones, huh? Have a good time. God, what happened to you? Who did this to you? Is that what you want? Dirty stories, is that how you get off? No. But what kind of person would do a thing like that? Some guy took me to a chicken place. Chicken place? What's that? That's where they serve young boys to perverts. I wouldn't do what they wanted. So they tied me to the bed... And took a soldering iron... I'm sorry. Listen, let's get outta here, eh? You don't belong here. I'm not gonna hurt you. Nobody's gonna hurt you again. [Grinding] [Locks clicking] - Yep. - Hey, my man. Got some chicken for sale... You hungry? Hey, I got two young boys. One's six and one nine. Their mother's a junkie. I hear she od'd about a week ago. No relatives, so you can't trace 'em. I got a great bargain for ya. Five hundred apiece... What do ya say, huh? Hey, man, sounds good. They look all right, I'll take 'em. Hey, you got pictures? You really are a sick motherfucker, you know that? Hey man, what's wrong with you? Just takin' care of business. You know, it's kinda funny. That's kinda what I'm doin' here, too. Huh. Fuckin' takin' care of business. Hey, hey, man. Hey, now, whatcha doin'? Come on, man, don't fuck around. Oh, man. Hey, hey. [Indistinct shouting] Hey, hey, don't do that. Come on, man, whatcha doin'? What are ya doin'? [Screaming] [Screaming] [Gunshot] N-n-no, please, please, no, no, no. Leave me alone. No, no. [Screaming] [Screaming] Take it easy. Everything's all right. Get your clothes, and let's get outta here. All right... That's where we stand. I don't know what we're gonna get here... good. Hiya, Dalton. It's uh, pretty, uh, gruesome in there, isn't it? Wait, hold it, Victor, hold it. Listen, can we just come in and take a quick look around. Now you know the rules. Nobody in there until 'til the ma gets here. Listen, Dalton, what do ya have on this? I just got here, Judy. I don't know... Give me a break. Come on, Dalton... You're here. It's gotta mean one thing, the exterminator. The first one was johnathon minor, age 37, male Caucasian. Forty-two arrests for promoting prostitution, assault, rape, white slavery, corrupting the morals of minors. Lately he specialized in young boys. He was convicted twice and served a total of 18 months. Jesus, it looks like he got hit by napalm. Most of that's from the burning mattress. The fireman says it's like that every time someone falls asleep smoking. Step this way... I'll show you our next attraction. Jesus. Who was he? He was a state senator from new Jersey. Hey, Dalton? Yes, Steve? I have the autopsy on the third ghetto ghoul and the print out that you ordered. I also have a telephone message from the CIA. - The c.I.A? - Yeah. An agent shore called. He wants a briefing on the "the exterminator" case. He says he cleared it with the commissioner. Here, he left his number. - Thanks, Steve. - All right. [Phone ringing] Dalton. Hi, it's Megan. Oh, hi, how are ya? How's it going? Oh, it's goin' fine. Our lab boys picked up a bloody footprint in the, uh, meat packing plant. They, uh, matched it with a size 10 hunting boot, manufactured by a firm in Maine. He only sells mail order. Well, you think he's from Maine? Well, our computer checked their records with all sale of that size with army records, and we finally have us some suspects. Why do you think he was in the army? Well, uh, one of the ghoul's girlfriends picked out the m-16 machine gun as a weapon the ex... Uh, the exterminator used when he broke up their party. About the only way you can get one is stealing it from the army. You think you're gonna catch him? Oh, we'll-we'll catch him, all right. But it's gonna take some doing. The computer gave us 2,000 suspects. Now it's gonna take a lot of knocking on a lot of doors. What are you doing right now? Uh, well, I'm a just going over some lab reports and just lookin' for clues. Do you want to take a break? Yeah. Well, there's a good jazz concert at battery park. All right, I, uh... I can be there in about thirty minutes. Good. Okay, see you there. Ladies and gentlemen, Stan guest. [Applause] [Music playing] Megan? Jalon! - Oh! - Oh, no! It's nice to see you... Holy shit! I haven't seen you since we got arrested at the army induction center in [Indistinct]. What are you doing now? I'm a doctor. Baby! I sell convertible bonds for Baldwin and byrne. [Laughter] Sounds brilliant. Hey, um, who's your friend? This is Dalton... He's a cop. A cop... that's a good one. You always did have a sense of humor. Hey, want a joint? [Giggling] You know that I have not seen jalon... For twelve years? Those were some times, huh? Yeah, they, uh... They were some times. But they were a little different for you than they were for me. What do you mean? Well, uh, I was there, and you were here. Were you really? Where do you think I was... Sarah Lawrence? What I meant was, I haven't been out with anyone who was in Vietnam before. Well, most people from scarsdale wouldn't have. I didn't say that to be mean. I know. Um, I'm sorry. What was it like? [Sighing] Um... it was bad. Not as bad as New York City, but it was bad. Hey, mama. Whoa, whoa, whoa. All right, grandma, let's hand it over. Please. My check was late, so I couldn't buy any food. I need my money, please. Lady, you are breaking my heart, here. Gimme that. [Screaming] [Belching] This is for you, and, uh, this is for you, and this is for you, and this is also for you, and this is for me. And this is for you. [Sobbing] [Giggling] Shut up, you old bitch! What the fuck is going on here? Whoa. Tryin' to be some kinda hero or somethin' here? Huh, huh? No, man. Come on, man... Let's go. Come on... let's go! [Groaning] You okay? Can I get you anything? [Screaming] Oh, stop! Pick your head up again, and I'll blow your fuckin' head off. Stay right there. Okay. [Engine starting] [Tires screeching] [Cheering] Woo! All right, all right, all right! Good to see our fuckin' guy back. You scared the shit out of him! - I can't take these guys. - And what'd we get? I can drive this fucking car better than you can. What do we get, what we get, what we get, what we get, man? What, what, what? Twenties and thirties. Oh, hey, I got it. I got eleven. Hey, man, how much money we get? Nothin'. We didn't get anything! Sam, you in there? You better give me my fucking share. - Bullshit. - There's tomorrow. Yeah, there's always tomorrow. There's always tomorrow. You pissed, you pissed, and this goes. It goes. Come on, guys, I can't drive with you guys like this! Sammy, watch where you're going. I'm watching. I'm all right, man. Jesus-sorry! [Overlapping chatter] Red light, red light. Jesus fuck! God damn it. You're fucking pushing on me, man. Who's that? Hey, it's John Wayne! It's not the same guy. Hey, it's Mr. America. I thought I told you to get out of here. Holy shit! [Gunfire] You must be thinking of somebody else, friend. Come on... Get out of here. [Tires screeching] [Engines revving] [Tires screeching] [Debris clattering] Let's finish the motherfucker. [Tires screeching] [Debris clattering] [Indistinct shouting] [Tires screeching] [Gunfire] [Horn honking continuously] [Indistinct radio chatter] [Sirens wailing] [Collective chatter] [Sirens wailing] Magnum .44. I bet it was from the same gun the exterminator used. Who the fuck are you? Agent Shaw, from the c.I.A. So far you haven't been very cooperative. And just why is the c.I.A. Interested in this case? We're interested because in these sensitive times, two months before elections, the exterminator has been stirring up a lot of resentment against incumbent politicians and the entire judicial system. This could easily be the work of the opposition party, or maybe even a foreign government. Dr., uh, Megan Stewart, please. What do you think? I think you have to take a shit. It's coming out of your mouth instead of your asshole. [Phone ringing] Hello... Dr. Stewart. Hi. - Hi, there. - Hey, listen. What time do you get off work tonight? I'm on call all night. Damn it. There is another solution. The nurses call it, "midnight admission." Midnight admission. It's, uh... it's an empty, private room. Shame to let it go to waste. Okay. See you soon. [Pa announcement] Coronary emergency. Dr. jenester, to emergency. Dr. jenester, to emergency. [Groaning] The bed's a little small, but, uh... Tilts electrically. [Laughter] [Monitor beeping] I finally got Maria to accept the money... so she and the kids should be okay. I heard about the doctor's report... and that you wanted to see me right away. [Sighing] I guess we never did bullshit each other very much, did we? So, listen, if you want me to cut you off this, uh, system here, I will. Just blink your eyes twice if that's what you want. [Monitor beeping] [Gagging] [Alarm sounding] [Flat lining] Paging Dr. jenester, Dr. jenester. [Alarm sounding] What's the alarm? Respirator failure. [Indistinct pa chatter] Hey, your fly is open. [Indistinct pa chatter] Somebody cut the wire to the respirator. Was that Jefferson? Oh, sweet Jesus. W-where are you going? That guy that just came down the hall? I think that was the exterminator. Dalton! Take care. [Siren wailing] [Collective chatter] Dalton, what the fuck? Aah. [Phone ringing] Come on, come on. - Computer center... - Yeah, Nick? This is Dalton. Now, listen. Were any of the exterminator boot suspects... Were they in, uh... Were any of them in ju... The 144th ranger battalion. That's an interesting idea. I'll find out. Okay, I'll wait here. Listen, call me as soon as you find out anything, all right? You got it. Okay, Dave. Hello, Maria. Listen, I'm sorry it's so late. That's all right. Can I get you some coffee? Uh, no, no. Would you sit down? I just want to talk to you. Maria, I just left the hospital. Maria, Michael is dead. - No. - Yes, he is. - No. - Please. No, there's still hope. No, there is no hope. There was no hope. Please, he knew that, Maria. He knew that. Maria, I am his best friend. Maria, I love him like he was my brother. It's what he wanted, believe me. - No! - Maria. - Mommy, mommy. - No! [Sobbing] I'm sorry. [Phone ringing] Yeah? I think we got him, Dalton. One of the hunting boot suspects, John eastland, was in the 144th ranger division with Michael Jefferson. Thanks. [Tires screeching] Okay, you two, up there. You two, in the back. Let's go. We're in position. Okay, we're going in. Police! [Distant baby crying] Have them move that junk from out front. We'll wait for him to get back. [Engine rumbling] [Indistinct radio chatter] [Phone ringing] Hello? Meet me in the Brooklyn Navy yard. You'll see some cranes there. Go to crane number five. Crane five. If you're not alone, I'm gonna have to kill you. That'll be 3:00 am, tomorrow morning... Dalton. Okay, eastland. [Indistinct radio chatter] Did you get a trace? No, it was too short. Thanks for the tap. [Car door closing] [Clattering] [Banging] [Gunfire] That's what it's like to be a victim. That's what it was all about. [Gunshot] [Groaning] I had to do it, Dalton, huh? You guys were gonna set me up, huh? Come on, Dalton... Let's get out of here. I'll help you... come on. No, no, you get out of here. Don't play hero with me. Let's just go. Damn it! You get out of here! I'll cover you. Go on, go on, go on. [Gunfire] No! No! [Gunfire exchange] [Splashing] Nice shooting. Thanks. [Explosion] Washington will be pleased. Song: Set me up straight in a chair comb my hair 'cause tonight I'll see an old friend and I wonder if she has been thinking of me now and then like a candle that burns for the sailors who turn she's a fortress that's safe from the storm she's brave and she's free and she's waiting to keep me warm and save all your small talk for some other lady just give her your love and your pride and lay down beside her and give her what's left of your hide set me up straight in my chair comb my hair 'cause tonight I'll see an old friend and I wonder if she has been thinking of me now and then just give her love and your pride and lay down beside her and give her what's left of your hide set me up straight in my chair comb my hair 'cause tonight I'll see an old friend and I wonder if she has been thinking of me now and then Are these pictures you've made recently? Yes, recently. They aren't like your usual work. Maybe not. It's an old film negative I took from my mother. It's a picture she took of me as a child. That's me. Don't you recognize me? In any case, you know that the only real pictures are childhood photos. What is this picture? It's an eminent Victorian in a hollywood bed. There's a special effect here... The bed appears twice. Yes, I made the bed even more hollywood-ish by doubling it. I prolonged it, to show this curve. To make it even more victorian. It was taken in London, in a hotel room. And who is this person? My husband. It was taken in London? In London, in january. At night, as you can see. This is my friend of mine. Whom I photographed here in Paris, nearby actually. I took off the part I wasn't interested in. This person is also in a bed? No, he was layed back in a couch. Layed back... But he seems floating in a bathtub, no? Yes, yes. In the water, in a pool. He holds a glass of tequila. I gave him some... In order for him to relax. It worked just a little bit, actually. I have never seen this one. This was taken more or less a year ago... In Montfort I'Amaury. Actually I wasn't the one who took the picture. But I'm the one who processed it like this. It's always interesting to process other people's photographs. What about this part? Did you cover part of the negative? No I didn't, the negative ends somewhere here. Here I didn't expose it, and here I used a light pencil. Do you recognize me? Is this a person? A painting? It's not a painting, it's a real man. He wasn't naked, even though the picture suggests otherwise. He's perfect like this, isn't he? Yes, yes. Is this picture called "vertigo"? Yes well, it's called like this for anecdotic reasons. Because I saw the film after... I took the picture, well it was the same afternoon but.. It isn't very related, even though I was... I suffered from vertigo while taking it. I was quite drunk. This bottle is almost empty. It's a very strange story. The story of the shooting of the picture is quite special. Would you mind telling me? It's quite obscene. I was... In a position... An embarassing situation with a friend. Who... I lit a cigarette, and he told me... "You're lighting a cigarette now, like an Amsterdam whore..." And I say "Yes, why not?" "And I'm also going to take a picture." And so I took this picture. And it was really hot, I tried to show this with... With this clumsy coloration. Clumsy... A picture can be personally pornographic while being also... Publically decent. Wouldn't you say so? This is my father. Where is this? Between Washington and New York, on the road. This was one and a half years ago. I took it because I realized it was... The way I saw my father... Almost all of my childhood, as we travelled... While driving, I always saw him from the back. I saw his eyes only through the mirror. I mostly saw his big hands on the wheel. I trusted him. Therefore it's a picture... I mean... It's a family picture, a sentimental picture. A childhood memory. But it's a childhood memory that isn't in childhood pictures... That's why I reproduced it. I mean re-photographing a memory I had. This isn't a family picture. It's in Corsica. It's a pseudo-sunset. The sunset isn't real. The sun wasn't setting, it's here. The light beams. What I did was... By artificial means... I set it - in a way - since I created a sunset. In color. It was fun to fake it, to change its position. By showing it has set through the colors. Even though it's here. What's this? That's part of a series, it's called "The Last Room". It's the last bed I used, in my parent's room. It's my last bed, at my parents'. The last room, to put it simply. The last darkroom as well. If you look closely... The light on the body... Isn't coming from the light source you see here. This light is strange... Not really... It is artificial? No, it's a lamp here, on the bedside table. Well it's a suicidal picture, in a way... It's a body that is... Mine, I suppose. But glorious... And dead... I mean... Dead but glorious. It's also a rather morbid picture... So I've been told. It's deliberately morbid. How can it be artificial... Since it's about death and... The entire photo fights against death. Against time, against break-ups... Against things we'll never see again... Anyhow, that's not important. Unlike the pictures. Where is this? It's in London. The same hotel room as before. The same bed, of which we can't see the... The convolutions anymore. What I liked is... The contrast between this extraordinarily serious, studious person... And the idleness... Of the same man... Sitting... Unoccupied... Waiting for I don't know what... Which isn't part of his official, public image. What I really liked was the contrast between this incredible dignity... Of his reading position... And this sort of idleness, waiting for something. Of the same person. Is that you? Oh, you shouldn't ask questions like this. Whether it's me or not... All the pictures are me. But yes, here that's me. I think I was very stoned. I also was in New York at that time. Not the same year, by the way. I simply... just... I countertyped this picture. And then I superimposed it... With a page I photographed in a diary. Of your diary? But why did you... Photograph the picture and didn't take the film negative? In order to have a photograph... That's even more photographic than the photograph itself. Further away from reality, than it already is. To really show it's a photograph. And not reality, and even less than reality... And a lot further than reality. You don't like that one, do you? I find it strange. Paris? This is Paris. In the 17th district. And... Is there a trick? There's no trick, it's only sort of faded. It's colored, it's colored... That's not part of the picture. It's colored with yellow here. Yes, it's my watch. The one I have around my neck right now. But why taking a picture like this? It's a still life. Still life pictures are vanities. Vanities in the baroque sense... Things that are futile, empty, abandoned... Perishable. That will disappear. And this one? This is in Corsica, it's a man whom I loved very much. I photographed him in a field... Which he owned in a certain way... It's land that... That was his heritage from his uncle in Corsica. It's a picture taken 5 or 6 years ago. I particularly like the sun in the tree over here. And this man, standing straight in front of the tree. I took it because that's kind of his empire. When seeing him there, I told myself that... That this land is his own, and he's standing there... I've always envied that - people who have a land, a place... A belonging. I've never had that... I also loved him for this, actually... Therefore it's a sentimental picture. That's why you took it, because he was there... Well no, there's no real explanation for this... It's just a sentimental picture... All pictures are sentimental. What do you think about it? I don't know. You never know. Never mind. It's in London. That's more recent. It's in a pub in London. In the day, we were having lunch. A very British pub. I really like pubs. Their... sort of darkness... At that time I didn't photograph myself yet... I left my spot empty, indicated in the pictures. This empty seat is mine. They're two men I knew. I lived with this man with the blurry face... The other... Is a friend. He still is, by the way. That's one of the first pictures where I put white inside... Inside the picture itself... I really enjoyed it. I also liked the mouvement of one the characters. It's the first picture on which I made the outlines blurry. Very blurry. But only to let this white in. The white of the frame, inside the picture itself. It's very London-ish, isn't it? I've never been. That's true. Where is this window? Where do you think? The order, the greenery, the grass... The fields, the trees.. It's Britain... Britain... The heart of civilization. It seemed to me... Strangely I took this picture while I wasn't feeling well... When I wasn't feeling well, I took very ordered pictures. Very composed, with this... There's a little string. A little string of a roller blind, ready cover the whole image. So you took this picture to show something of Britain? Yes, to show what I imagined to be the essence of Britain... A sort of orthogonality which isn't british at all... But which could be... It could be... With this wall containing these trees... With this way of... This very british shyness, this very british grayness... This calmness, this british distance... This big distance, so gentle and british. Eminently british. I'm quite proud of this one. It's a break-up picture. It was taken in Venice, in rather dramatic circumstances. It's the suit, tie and shoes of a man I loved. In an apartment in Venice where we stayed. My shoes nearby, not at all aligned with his. That still aren't aligned, even less than before. That are the only element of disorder in the picture. And this colored shade... It's a picture I sent him as a break-up letter in a way. An ironic picture also. Don't you think so? Ironic? I don't know. This one is strange... I don't like it very much... It's a field in Corsica with... A superimposed man in a bed in Aix-en-Provence... The whole thing re-worked in Paris... Already stained by humidity and weather. It's a juxtaposition of a man... Here below is a man in his bed... Photographed in Aix-en-Provence, a man I really loved. And a Corsica landcsape. Just like before, the sun through the tree. It's not the same tree as before, but it's the same man. The same garage in Montfort I'Amaury, close to Ravel's house. I went on vacation there last year. That's done with a light pencil, and that's entirely imagined. I like to do that... Didn't you cover the negative? No, the negative ends here. I actually printed this... Then I prolonged the picture... With imaginary lines, on the top and the bottom. Then in the middle, all this black part. All with the light pencil. Do you recognize me? Yes. And my two friends? No, I don't know them... I'm sure you've seen them here before. The real version of this picture, is this one. "Eric's new boots" It's a guy who'd follow me around surprinsingly... Without any warning... Without me wanting him to, in New York. I didn't like him very much... He'd come to New York all dressed in white... With clothes he'd bought for the occasion... And boots very... Which he was proud of... Which must've cost a great deal of money... He photographed everything in New York. So I was very happy to only photograph... His trousers, his boots, the sidewalk, and this car. I really liked that, and... Also what I liked was... To blur the whole picture, except the upper outline. What's that? It's beautiful. It's a sunrise on Fès. I went to Fès in April... And people told me "Did you take pictures? !" I say "Sure, here's a great sunrise on Fès"! And I show them... And they're a little bit surprised... It is Fès, that's obvious... Fès is here... There's the brightness of a lamp, but... No, it's not a lamp... There's Fès... And there's some brightness... Those two things together can make a picture... Can make a picture...! Two heterogenous things can make a picture together... Like a sunrise in Fès. I seduced someone with this picture. I send it to him... He fell in love instantly with the picture... He's also a photographer. He felt close to it, especially for this. The end. That's all. I want to thank (...) For their help. J.E. Pepper! Pepper! Here we are! Come on! Come on, digger! Come on, there you go! There you go, digger! Go get it! Go get it! Fetch! Fetch, digger! Go, digger! I didn't know you walked out this way, Andrew. Yes. One of digger's favorite spots when I'm in the area. Fit, are you? - Yes, can't complain. My word, look at him go. He's like a whippet. - Yes, isn't he? Sheer joy of living I call it. Still digging up neighbor's gardens? Yes, digger by name, digger by nature. There's no cure in the book for that, I'm afraid. Actually, James, I'm glad we ran into each other. I've been wanting to see you about digger. There's nothing wrong with him, is there? Not really, but he is having some problems with his eyes. How do you mean? I found him rubbing his face along the carpet, and he seems to blink in strong light-- that sort of thing. It's just some minor irritation, I expect. Bring him in, and I'll give him a check. Best to be on the safe side. Thank you, James. I'll pop by in a few days. - Good. Just look at those legs go. Tea is ready, Mr. farnon! Thank you, Mrs. hall! Aha, the cup that cheers, but not inebriates, eh, Mrs. hall? That's what I like to think. Nothing like a good strong brew to keep the seasonal maladies at bay. Here you are. - Lovely, thank you very much. A cup for you, Mr. herriot? - Yes, please. Well done, James. Just in the Nick of time. While you've been swanning around on the moors-- excuse me, Mr. farnon. - Yes, Mrs. hall. I thought I'd mention fence again. - Fence, Mrs. hall? Yes, I do recall. Perhaps, you also recall I asked you to tell Mr. Tristan about that. It's the sort of thing he looks after. Mr. Tristan says fence is your responsibility. Does he? Would you be good enough to tell him-- you tell him. It's not my place, is it? Now, if you'll excuse me. Oh, dear, oh, dear. There you are, the senior partner's lot-- disobedience and insubordination. James? - What? Oh, sorry. You're looking despondent. Not ailing, are you? I do feel a bit under the weather. Touch of flu, perhaps? - No. Or is it melancholy-- a feeling of mea culpa? What do you mean? - Paul cotterell? Don't explode, James. I know how reticent you are about private matters, but it is Paul's death that's troubling you, isn't it? Yes. - You can't carry the burdens of the world, especially not a world that's tearing itself apart like ours is. He was in despair after I put his dog down, and I can't help feeling that's why he took his own life. You've got to accept it. He was a very sick man. Come on, snap out of it, or do you want me to get Helen to sort you out? Oh, no, thanks. That is more than I can take. Ah-choo! - Aha! Our seasonal friend, I'll hazard. You hazard away. This winter, I stay germ-free. I'm off on my visits. Likewise, me to surgery. Wrap up warm, James, and... Stay away from the cold, empty place... If you want to keep fit in this weather. Don't worry, I will. Bye-bye. Ah-choo! He's always been a poor one, Mr. herriot. He never seems to put on no flesh. - Which field was he in? In the orchard for a few hours. That's a thriving cough you've got there. You're right there. I'm sure I've got bronchitis. I'd watch it, if I were you. Was there any fruit in the orchard? Aye, we had a greatly crop-- orchard is full. - That's it, then. That fruit's brought his digestion to a complete standstill. Bogged up, is he? - Uh-huh. A good dose of linseed oil will soon shift him. No, we're going to have to open him up, I'm afraid. It's a very serious condition. And we're going to have to operate here. Anyone around who can lend a hand? Aye, if you're set on it. But I still think a good dose of oil will put him to rights. It'll be a lot easier. I'm sorry. The condition's far too advanced. I've got to shift that fruit immediately. Thou knows best, I suppose. Hang on then, veterinary. I'll get old George down at village. He'll give us a hand. And hurry it up, please. We don't want to catch colds. Ain't nobody escapes bronchitis this time of year. Best to have it, and be done with it, I say. Not me, thank you. Right. Ah, esteemed brother, I bring you diverse wonders-- powders to banish the worm, pills to unrumble the canine tummy. Just what the faithful messenger ordered, yes? Nope. - Don't be a rotter. This ghastly weather's about done me in. First, we do not drink during working hours. You are! - Quite, but my working day is over, yours is not. In the second place-- - wait a minute. I'm still disputing your assumption of the first place. I'm extremely annoyed with you for upsetting Mrs. hall. - Me? Yes, you refused to mend that hole in the fence, didn't you? I thought that particular nasty might surface again. Mrs. hall told you that I'd said you were to do it? And I told her what I tell you-- it's your fence, you mend it. I see. Rebellion. No, it's called making a stand, stiffening the backbone. In fact, I'm no longer prepared to accept your tyranny, at least, not all the time. - T-tyranny? Consider, here I am, an adult human being, almost qualified, and what happens? I run and fetch, I stand to, I hold the fort. The original dogsbody. It won't do, siegfried, it's just not on. It's not on? - No! When's the last time you let me do some real work? Not just tidy up after you or James? Not merely dispense pills, but real work. Nuts and bolts vetting. - When you're a qualified vet and have some conception of the responsibilities of our profession, which you have not-- you see? That's your attitude in a nutshell. I've heard you out. Now you hear me out. You mend that fence. I see. It's like that, is it? You have 24 hours, and not a second longer to mend that fence. Thank... you. There's enough fruit in here to start a shop. Ah-choo! - George, please. It's this bloody cold, a right dose of bronchitis. Would you move back a bit, please? For heaven's sake, Mr. sowden! Haven't you ever heard of droplet infection? Infection-- you know, from coughs and sneezes. It's no use fussing. There's no escaping it. He started, all right. He's off. Bronchitis, right enough. Ha-choo! Ha-choo! Hee-hee. Ah-choo! Really, James, it's your own fault. You can't expect to worry yourself sick over Paul's death, and do your own job at the same time. I know, but-- - no ifs or buts about it. You worried yourself into a really low state. Now look what's happened. I'm sorry. You're right, of course. I understand how you feel, but I want you to pull yourself out of it. Promise? If you promise not to go on about it. It's a deal. You just relax while I go boil another kettle. Drink that up. There's another one to come. Who is it? It's me. May I come in? If you don't mind catching flu. How are you feeling? Jolly good. James, let me ask you a question. Tris, I'm really not up to it-- no. Shush. Tell me... When is the last time we stood up to siegfried, I mean faced him out to the bitter end? - Ah-- ah-- you see? You can't answer, can you? Because neither of us ever have. We've always given in to him. Well, this time, I'm going to do it. Do what? - I'm going to stand up for our rights, at least, in the matter of the fence. Wouldn't it be easier just to mend it? I mean-- no, I'm making a stand on principle, James. You will back me up, won't you? - Leave me out of it. For one thing, I'm not up to it. For another-- all right. Be like that. Wallow in defeatism. What is that disgusting smell? Helen swears it's a sovereign remedy for flu. It smells like old socks. - Don't insult old socks, this stuff's in a class of its own. - What is, darling? I was just praising the remarkable qualities of your flu remedy. Oh, were you? Come along, drink it up while it's hot. Got to get you fit again. 'Night, tris. Next, please! Come on, digger. - Andrew, come on in. James, you don't sound too good. No, I'm fine. Spot of flu, but Helen's specific knocked it on the head. Let's have a look at him, shall we? Come on. Come, digger. Mr. herriot just wants to look. When did you first notice this problem? He's had eye trouble on and off since he was a pup, really. Could you hold his head, please? That's it, thanks. All right, digger. How old is he? A little over a year. It can't be anything serious, can it, James? It's none of the usual things-- an inverted eyelid or an extra row of lashes rubbing against the eyeball. Sometimes, I find him lying in his basket with his eyes half-closed. No pain, but there's something wrong. Nothing shows. I suppose he might have a long-standing infection in there. I'll give him some drops. See how he gets on with those. All right, digger. Apart from his eyes, he's fit as a fiddle. Marvelous company when I'm traveling about. Get through the work like lighting, don't we, boy? Changed my whole life, this little chap. Digger. Don't worry, Andrew, most of our patients feel that way about the surgery. Even our own dogs avoid it like the plague. There we are. Thank you, James. I'm sure I won't have to trouble you again. Let's hope so. Come on, digger. Next, please! You're an idiot! An idiot! Bad dog, very bad dog. You're lucky I'm not scooping up the pieces. Do you realize what a silly animal you are? Mrs. hall! Mrs. hall! Go on to your basket now. Oh, I'm disgusted with you. Go on. Mrs. hall! - I heard you the first time, Mr. farnon. How did he get out? I've asked you to keep the gate shut. Aye, you have. - He nearly ended up under the wheels of my car. While the hole stays in fence, dogs will stray-- the hole? ! - So either you or Mr. Tristan must mend it. Till then, you've got nothing you can complain about, have you? Tristan... You almost left it too late. Stick that round his neck, would you, please? He was running with that bunch at far field. I had no idea it had gotten to this state. Wooden tongue, is it? Yes, that's right-- actinobacillosis, to be absolutely accurate. It you don't catch it in time, the tongue hardens, and they starve to death. Can you do aught for him, you reckon? Mmm, fortunately. There's a new treatment, Mr. Abbot-- sodium iodide. It's a vast improvement on the old system-- painting the tongue with iodine. Hello. What do you want? Come to keep an eye on things, haven't you, lass? It's vital you get some nourishment into him. Milk or gruel will do until the injection starts to work. If he'll drink it, that'll do him the most good. If not, you'll have to bottle it into him, but do be careful. You can choke a beast that way. Anyhow, nurse is on the job. Yes. I have the distinct impression that I'm under supervision. Hmm? Is she always like this? Aye. Funny how they are in their ways. Judy here thinks she's responsible for all the stock on the farm. Well, sheepdog... Keen instinct, I suppose. Oh, it's more than that. She likes to take charge. Newborn calves, new kittens all get licking and nursing treatment from old Judy. It'll be all to the good for this little chap. It might give him a new interest in life. You're a rummer, all right, are you, lass? Hello, James. - Hello, siegfried. Savaged? Hammer blow, actually. I trust you weren't using it on a patient at the time. Sorry. Can I do the honors? That's okay. - Come on. Thank you, James. Pleasure. James... - Mm-hmm? May I ask you a very Frank question? When I opened my eyes, I was on board in fishing trawler. It was then I learned, that I have been two months since I have disappeared. Since that date forward, I have not had the guts to head out to sea. Andres, we all know there's something down there. Another world. Another form of life. myabe they are from the past. from a vanished from of life. I do not know what is it that they want. But I do know is that they need us. I am an old man now, and my only regret is not having returned to unravel that mystery. But you can, go there, but speak of this to no one, or you would be considered as insane! Are you worried? I am. I is I who should be going down there. Do you fear for me? I do, yes, this is where Enrique and I dived, but, please, do not dive all the way down. and if you feel a queer sensation of listlesness and hopelesness, return immediatedly. It is a sign of danger, you would be at the treshold of another dimension. Do not let yourself be decieved and return immediatedly, I beg of you! You must not hesitate! If you wait one moment, it would be too late! Paco, help her! "another ship dissapears" How is it going? Ricardo, I am glad to see you. I came as soon as I could, what is wrong? You be the judge, appart from Maria's boat, other ships have dissapeared in the same place. And some mysterious images that appear and dissapear from underwater photographs. And there was also a shark that nudged me, as if to only scare me from going deeper. You went diving? Andres should not have allowed it. Andres did not agree, but I insisted. I had to know. what madness! In any case, it has helped, I am now covinced it was not his imagination, he was telling the truth. It seems his madness is contagious. We will soon know if its truly madness, Ricardo. Tomorrow we will dive again. I do not want to have a single doubt. I will go along. What your are doing makes no sense. Go on holiday and forget about all this. You would like to see me in an insane asylum. I am not insane. And if you have come for that, you could have spared yourself the trip. You are wasting our time. Is it that you don't realize that you're risking angelica's life? So... That's what it is? I hope nothing happens to her. I doubt you will overcome this madness anytime soon. Can you tell me why you tossed the tank and the harpoon? Protection, in case... In case of necessity. I understand. Andres... God Dammit, I don't like this. Here, take this. What is it that you are doing, Andres? I have to help Angelica. Don't move. And you, drop that gun. Once again we meet,eh. You were planning to recover the case for yourself,eh. Thanks,you have managed to show me where it is, my men will find it. It is not the case that we seek. I don't know where it is, it fell to the bottom. You won't get to see it. Hold it! Have you ever killed in cold blood? Go ahead, what are you waiting for? Andres, no! Andres! Andres! Oh no! The End? Subtitled by Jose Jimenez 12/22/2011 Nice landing, Uncle Bene. Right on the 50-yard line. Should've gone for a touchdown. Next time, I'll put it right between the goalposts. Can't wait to see the museums and go to all the concerts. That's why we arranged this little vacation. We've been so busy establishing our community on Witch Mountain that you two haven't had an opportunity to see what life in the big city is all about. I'd rather go to the beach and learn how to surf. There'll be another time for that. Just remember what I told you, and have a lot of fun. - It's locked. - Tia? Tony, come back here. Now, never energize unless it's absolutely necessary. Tia? If earth kids can live here without energizing, you can too. You the party I'm supposed to pick up? - Just the children. - All right. Meter's running, hop in. I got it. I've been waiting here forever. You know, people wait for taxis, not taxis wait for people. We're exactly on time. Yeah, well, kind of a strange time and place to be making a pick up. I mean, if you're here for the next game, it's in three months. We have seats on the 50-yard line. Deliver the children to this address. You'll be paid after you arrive. This is a big fare here. If these kids pay me, I hope they know I get a big tip. Now, everything's been arranged. I'll see you Friday. - OK. Goodbye, Uncle Bene. - Goodbye. Have fun, you two. Look at that dummy. Get off the road, you dummy. These civilians don't know how to drive. They ought to be kept off the streets. The streets belong to us professional drivers. Taxis, buses, trucks. That's all that should be allowed on the streets. You see, I happen to know a great deal about driving. I have a perfect safety record. Come on, get out of the way, you bum. Thank you. Thank you, Sickle. Well, this is a perfect test site. Little traffic and low real estate value. It's adequate, I suppose. Ok, let's get this over with. This thing on all right? It's ready. What do you want him to do this time? I want you to climb that fire escape to the absolute top. Wait a minute. This is as high as I go. You want me to break somebody's leg? Just tell me how many pieces. But up there, I don't go. - Why not? - Because I'm afraid of heights. I will get dizzy. I will fall. That is true, Victor. He has acrophobia among other things. Find a different test for him. Acrophobia is not a problem with my device. Start climbing. I will do anything else you say, but I am not going up that building, understand? - I... - Sickle I command you to climb up that fire escape. You will go to the very top, You will turn around, and you will look down. And you will not be frightened of heights. Off you go. It's working. It's working! It seems to be. Victor. Victor, you are risking his life. He's my nephew. My only living relative. He's the only one I can leave my my bankruptcy to. That's what experimentation is all about, Letha. We cannot afford to lose him. I am the only one we cannot afford to lose. Can't you see that I've got complete control over his mind? He has no fear, no memory, no will. He can only carry out my commands. What... what's happening? We're out of gas. What are you, crazy? Look at the dial, it points to... empty. Empty? It was all that waiting I had to do for youse. I'll run down the street to the gas station and get some gas. Boy, oh, boy. You guys are costing me a lot of dough. I sure hope you make the tip worth it. Something's going to happen to someone near here. We've got to help. No, I think you'd better stay here and wait for the driver. I'll go. I think it came from back that way. Be careful. And remember what Uncle Bene said. That is enough. Bring him down! Sickle, turn to your right. Balance yourself and walk along the ledge. Victor, no. Stop. I'll bring him down myself. Give that to me. Look what you've done. Sickle, stop. Sickle, I'm commanding you to stop. Sickle, this is Dr. Victor Gannon commanding you to stop! - He's out of control. - Sickle! Go back! Sickle! No! Letha... look. - I can't look. - You must. It's miraculous. There are no miracles, Letha. Only scientific explanations for everything. Well, then, just explain to me what we're seeing. It... must be that... boy. There's a... There's a force that centers around that boy. A force capable of countermanding the basic physical law of... gravity. Victor, I don't know what you're talking about. Molecular mobilization. I need that boy, Letha. - I need him desperately. - Now, just a minute. Brilliant, my boy. Brilliant. Congratulations, young man, for a fantastic... Well, whatever it was you just did, It was absolutely heroic. It was nothing, I just... Get off the street! - Run! - Hide! Here come the goon goons! Let's get 'em! They run like chickens. More goons! We're trapped! Hide or they'll get ya. Over here. It ain't no use hiding behind those trash cans. The earthquakes' got girls in their gang. Let's finish 'em. Now, where in the world did that come from? It was a set up. - Let's give it to 'em. - Yeah. That was an ambush! Stop banging into me. I can't see. I can't get out. Get me out. Get it off me. Yeah! All right! Hey, you really saved us from getting wiped out. Yeah, thanks a lot. - What's your name? - Tia. - I'm Rocky. - I'm muscles. - Crusher. - And I'm dazzler. We're the earthquake gang. Does that scare you? No. Let's change our name again. We gotta have a name that scares. Yeah. How'd you do what you done? Well, I really didn't do anything. Yeah. You a magician or something? No. You want to join our gang? I'm sorry. I'm looking for someone. - Thanks anyway. - Aw, sure. I guess you're like the rest of them. You've heard we're a nothing gang. Yeah, well we ain't always gonna be nothing. Someday we're gonna be the toughest. Take over the whole territory. Someday they're gonna run when they see us coming down the block. All right. It's just that I've got to find my brother. What gang does he belong to? He doesn't belong to any gang. I never heard of a Guy that never belonged to a gang. I'm sure something's happened. I've got to find him. If anybody could find him, we could. I mean, we know this town inside out. Oh, would you? Hey, yeah, sure. Listen, you done us a big favor, now we'll do it for you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Hey, come on, let's go. That Tony sure made himself scarce. - We better walk you home. - Where do you live? I... I was supposed to stay at a hotel. But I don't know which one. You could stay in our hideout. - Yeah! - Thank you. We'll look for Tony tomorrow. If we aren't busy beating up goons. - Yeah. - Hey, it's Yo-Yo. - Get down. - Come on, hide. - Did he see us? - I don't know. - But he's coming this way. - Who is he? - Our worst enemy. - He's worse than the goons. He's Mr. Yokomoto, the truant officer. He's trying to make us go back to school. Let's go. That's our hideout. When do the ghosts get here? Don't say things like that. This place could really scare ya. Come on. This is where we're gonna live when we run away from home. Yeah, you can't be tough if you take orders from your mom or older sister. That's why we quit school. You can't be tough and educated, too. - Tony! - Where? I had a contact with him. You... You calling on the spirits? - She's weird. - She's creepy. I... I ain't too sure I wanna meet this Tony. Tony, where are you? He's coming in again. I can only see a light. That's all. Now it's... going black. Now it's... completely gone. He's doing that? He's projecting a magnetic field through his reflexes as he struggles to regain consciousness. His output is so great, that my machines aren't even capable of measuring it. But he's dangerous. Once I have control of his brain, Letha, he will only be dangerous to others. I hope you realize that kidnapping's a criminal offense. My experiments are more important than the law, Letha. With these receptors placed on certain people, combined with this boy's powers, I could become one of the most influential men in the world. Oh, you are absolutely brilliant, professor. Now we can go ahead with my plans, too. Don't bother me with your plans. They're empty, unimportant. A comment, perhaps, on you and the life you've been leading. Now, you look here, doctor, professor, physicist. Whatever you are. I built this laboratory for you at great expense. I used every penny I had. Now, we've made a lot of plans and I won't let you upset them. I want some money. Fast. Letha, we are worlds apart. My mind is filled with large concepts. Mankind, the universe. You only worry about the horse that's running in the third race. Sure, I gamble but with my own money. You're the worst kind of gambler. You use other people's money and want to keep all the winnings for yourself. Well, you can be sure of one thing, Victor. I'll be around to pick up the chips with you. We'll be back in the morning with maps and breakfast. I'll bring an egg from my refrigerator. And I'll bring some day-old bread. - I'll bring some milk for you. - Thank you. - You're good friends. - That's the trouble with us. We don't want to be good. We want to be bad. Yeah. Hey, uh, let's go, you guys. My mom's gonna yell at me. See you tomorrow, Tia. We'll find Tony tomorrow for sure. Let's stay close together on the way out, guys. Good. This is professor Gannon... Tony! He's in some kind of a room. Like a hospital. With machines and instruments and things. Oh, that's easy. All we have to do is check all the hospitals. While we going around looking for a fight. Come on. You will now function exclusively under control. You will no longer think independently. All thinking and reasoning will be done by the voice that commands you. Do you understand? - Yes. - What is your name? - Tony. - Where are you from? Witch Mountain. Sounds like some hick town to me. How did you suspend Mr. Sickle in mid-air? By energizing matter. Do you mean to say that you can control molecular flow? Yes, sir. - How did you learn to do this? - I was born with the ability. I wish to see a demonstration of molecular flow. You are strapped to the table. Unbuckle yourself and sit up. Power has come into our hands which is centuries before its time. We must use it wisely. Well, what can you have him do? Other than go around making people's belts unbuckle. The possibilities are unlimited. Oh, come on. It's just some gimmick, that's all. Tony... Mr. Sickle, whose life you saved, doesn't seem to believe in you. Mr. Sickle needs convincing, Tony. Hey, come on. Hey, get back! Get back! Get back! Don't. Get back! I can see how that'd be a big hit at a scientific convention. But the bottom line is, how do we make money with it? I will demonstrate an industrial application. Come with me, Tony. Now, Tony, those wine casks... stack them... neatly. Two glasses of burgundy, please. To molecular mobilization. To molecular capitalization. Hey, got any more clues? No. Nothing at all. It's so strange. We've been to every hospital and he's in none of them. It's like his mind's a blank. He probably conked out somewhere. - Don't listen to him. - We'll find Tony for sure. Yeah, we'll turn the town upside down. Yeah. - What're you doing? - Thinking. Thinking about us in a different place, such as... Las Vegas with Tony. Seven or eleven every time, right? A day at the races. All the long shots come in. You do have an imagination, after all. The possibilities with Tony are unlimited. For example, he stacked the wine casks by just looking at them. If he can stack them, he can unstack them. The gold is on display at the museum. Protected by an impenetrable security system. Just sitting there waiting for us to penetrate it. Wait a minute. Us? You mean Gannon said it's ok to use the control on Tony? Professor Gannon is extremely busy being a genius. I own half the invention, Half of Tony, that means I own half of the profits. So far, the return on my investment has been half of zero. What about security. We'd need an army to pull it off. We'll have an army with us! Tony. Tony? Tony? Tony, why can't I get through to you? Tony? I'll pick up the new transistors, make a few stops. Be back later on. Don't worry. Everything's under control. Tony. This is Letha Wedge, Commanding you to open your eyes. Now, stand up. We're going to the museum for education and profit. Tony and I will do a little... sightseeing. Wait. Gold! I see gold. - Hey it's mine. - Where is it? - Hey, give it to me! - No! A stagecoach. She must be tuned in on a western. Yeah. I see dummies. That's you. No. Old things. Clothing. Hey, he's at the salvation army. Nah, they don't got stagecoaches at the salvation army. They don't got gold, neither. Wait a minute, wait a minute! We had one of them nothing school trips. To the museum. Yeah, they got a pile of gold. And a stagecoach. They had to kick me out. We've got to go there. Come on, it's over here. Now, Tony. We're going to create a little diversion. The stagecoach. I want you to roll it all around the museum. Look out. Watch it. Watch out for that thing, it's coming this way. Hey, where are the horses? I... don't know. Now cause total chaos. Watch out. Short circuit the control system. Oh, no. Letha! Letha! Look out. Get out of my way. Can't you put that thing out? Come on, take a shot. Move it. Now, Tony, Make a hole in the plastic shield. And it doesn't have to be neat. Tony, unstack the gold bars and deliver them to Mr. Sickle. Move it buddy, move it. We gotta get out of here! Las Vegas, here we come. Look. Come on, follow me. Tony, make them go faster. Watch out! Hey, Letha! Hey, Letha! Look out, lady. Yeah, why don't you watch where you're going, you big dummy. Look out, Eddie! Tony, what's happening? Molecular flow reversing. - Are you doing this? - No. Then who is? It would have to be one of my people. - There are more like you? - Yes. - Let's get out of here. - Tony! Tony! Who's that? It's my sister. My sister, Tia. This is no time for a family reunion. Letha! Tony! You fool! How could you do this? Not now. - What's wrong? - I don't know. I keep it running perfect. It's Tony's sister, she did it. She's as weird as he is. Tony, I command you to make this car run perfectly and continuously without interference from your sister. I can't stop the car. Tony's energizing it. It's like your brother doesn't even know you. - It's yo-yo. Let's go! - No. Don't run. You crazy? You don't want to go to that school. Please, trust me. Now, come on, hurry. Hey, wait for me. Come on, you guys. Get in there. - Let's go! - Come on, get in. I'm dreaming. You're surrendering to the board of education? Sir, you see that car going down the street? - Yeah. - My brother's in it. He ought to be going to school. You ought to catch up with him. Another truant? Oh, boy, we're gonna have a load. - Hey, what happened? - Good driving, Yo-Yo. Yeah, that was neat. This bus can really move. Tony, look through the window. The rear window. That minibus is following us. I command you to place obstacles in its path. City property. I've damaged city property. They said these glasses were shatterproof. Was that a bus or a bridge? They're still with us. Tony, you must stop her. Man, that man was really buzzing. Am I still alive? They're gaining on us. She counteracts everything that Tony does. Tony, you've got to stop her. We flew! They must've flown. Don't you dare try it. Sickle... Sickle, stop... Stop over that hill. Tony, cause the reflection of the sun on the rear window to magnify and shine so brightly that our pursuers'll be blinded by it. Come on, open the doors. I can't see. - Yeah. - Come on, let me out. - Everybody OK? - Yeah, sure. Oh, look what's happened to city property. No... but I'm still gonna take you to school. - Just soon as I... - Come on. You jeopardized my life's work. My accountants' are desperate. You've proved yourself incompetent yet again. I don't even know if I can trust you anymore. You don't trust me? I trusted you enough To make my credit rating look like Swiss cheese. Don't tell me you don't trust me. We have to trust each other. Right. I trust everybody. Yes... Well, fortunately, I thought of something very spectacular which will satisfy both of us in terms of prestige and money. Well, you have the prestige, I'll take the money. But, before we celebrate your return to sanity, we'd better do something about Tony's sister. How did she know we were at the museum? I... I'm not certain. Tony. How did your sister know that we were at the museum? Telepathy. She'll show up again and ruin everything. In that case, she will have to be, as you would say Scratched? Tia. Tia. What happened to you? I can't explain now. I've lost the power to energize. Where are you? Follow my voice path. Please! OK. Guide me. Tony, which way? This way. Which way, Tony? Which way? Keep moving straight ahead. This is the house. Here, look. Come on. Down here. Be quiet, Alfred, you silly thing. Tia! Tony! I've put her into a state of comatose neutralization. Hey, Tia. We got you some cold hotcakes. She ain't here. Hope she didn't go looking for Tony without us. Yeah, she needs us. Tony? Crusher? Muscles? Rocky? Dazzler? Alfred. Alfred, what's the matter with me? Where am I? Alfred, find the earthquakes. Listen to me. What kind of place is that? That is an underground plutonium processing plant. Translate that into financial terms. Plutonium is more valuable than gold. That's why I like scientists. They're always discovering new, expensive things. It is used in the explosive core of nuclear missile warheads. I suppose you're going to have Tony split an atom bomb or something. In effect Yes Well, I didn't count on killing anybody. Especially not us. It will never go that far. They will pay anything to prevent it. This is the first step towards my becoming the most powerful man in the world. IDs, please. Take a powder. Tony. Those are the outer security scanners. Put them out of commission permanently. The scanning systems are malfunctioning. All right, let's run a maintenance check. Three million bucks, you'd think these things would work right. - Where to? - Andy's place, know it? Yeah, sure. I know where everything is. Second and third? - Fourth and market. - That one. - Hop in. - I'm in a hurry. Could you... Don't worry. Have you there in a couple of minutes. Listen. Feel the power in this cab? It has lots of power. You know, everybody tells me, I ought to be a race driver. What do you think? Well, I think you're wrong. Don't worry about nothing, sir. I'm a very safe driver. Want me to tell you how safe? I'll tell you anyway. I've been driving a hack for 19 years and 11 months. And in all that time, I never even put one scratch on a cab. In fact, next month, they're gonna give me a gold safety award. What do you think of that? Boy, you don't like nothing. I sure hope you're a good tipper. I knew there was something about you that didn't look right. Hey! You owe me a fare! - Officer, that goat's a guy. - The goat? The guy became a goat when I'm driving. The guy? This magician beat me out of this fare. The magician? - My perfect record. - Record? Oh... record. I ain't gonna get the gold safety award. Hear that? That must be her. Come on. Help me. Hey. Watch out. Get him away. How'd you get in here? Hey, come on, get out of here. Watch out! He's looking at me like he knows me. Hey, what do you want from me? Get away! He's got Tia's vest. Get him! Quick. We're going for coffee now. Can I bring you a cup? May I see your IDs, please? Tony? Show him our ID. What's happening? Why? Don't leave me up here. Open the door, Tony. You can't go in there without IDs. - Now seal it. - How do I get down? Tia! - Quick, let's get her out. - Yeah. Phew, it smells. It's some kind of a gas. Come on. You OK now? Yes, thank you. This is some kind of science place. - How'd you get here? - It was Tony. He was here. I saw something! What was it? It's where Tony is. I'm sure of it! A big, round shape. A doughnut! He's eating a doughnut. No way! Is it like a ball? A great big ball? - Yes. - I know where he is. Let's go! Hurry, let's go. Oh, thank you. And thanks for everything. Come on, let's go. We are about to make scientific history. And some money, too, I hope. You will shut down the complete cooling system of the furnace. It's a red light on the cooling system. It must be a circuit breaker. Restart the system. I can't get a restart. Hit the backup system. It's no-go on backup. Temperature increasing in the furnace. Get that coolant flowing. - Furnace control. - Control? You don't really think you're controlling anything, do you? Who is this? This is Dr. Victor Gannon, And I have just shut down your cooling system. OK, you've shut it down. Get it back on again! Tell him how expensive it is to put it back on. In exactly one hour, we shall be serving grilled plutonium, medium rare, to the atmosphere unless the following conditions are met. What conditions? Five million dollars in cash. A jet waiting at the airport. A safe escort, of course. And most important of all, You will announce that Dr. Victor Gannon has achieved molecular control and mind control. And this is the first of a series of worldwide demonstrations of his power. How long does it take to count five million dollars? We'll have to pay them. Evacuate the immediate area. Put Los Angeles on alert. There's the big round ball. - Is that it? - No, it was bigger than that. Get outta here. Leave me alone. At least I tried. Hey, look. It's Yo-Yo. Let's get out of here. Come on. Hey, Yo-Yo. Don't you want to catch us? I don't trust him. He's probably using some psychology trick on us. Come on. Hey, Mr. Yo-yo, don't you want to catch us? It's not my job anymore. They're coming down to fire me for destroying city property. The only thing that works is the radio. And it won't turn off. I was only trying to help you, kids. Mr. Yokomoto, I'm sorry about everything that's happened. All I ever wanted in life was all you kids that I put back in school, someday visit me and say, "thanks Mr. Yo-Yo, Yokomoto. If it wasn't for you forcing us to get an education, We would've been bums." That's all I wanted. You see? I told you he was gonna hit us with some of that heavy psychology. I mean, I feel guilty. Bulletin from the plutonium plant. Unless the demands of the terrorists are met, the furnace will explode with the force of ten megatons. An official describes the atomic furnace controls as frozen in position, - As if "the molecular flow..." - That's Tony! - The plant is being evacuated. - That's where he is! - We've got to go there. - How? Take a bus? - We'll go in this. - Tia, the tires are flat. Come on. If it doesn't start cooling soon, the chain reaction will start. You hear that? In ten minutes, this place is going to be a hole in the ground. Now, let's be reasonable. We have three and a half million dollars in the control room. And the balance is on the way. It's a deal. I do not compromise. - Hey, what are you guys doing? - Nothing! Nothing! We're doing nothing. Hey, kids! How did these children get past security? Sir, the people destroying the furnace kidnapped my brother. If I could see him, I might stop them. - She can do it! - She can do it. - Do what? Impossible, they're inside the room. They've sealed the door somehow. - What part has to be fixed? - The emergency cooling system. - Where is it? - Five levels down. But it's too late. We've already begun to evacuate the plant. Tony's here, all right. Get me down. Thank you, thank you. Now, where are you going? In there. Oh, no. You can't go beyond this point without IDs. Tony! - Tia! - I knew it. She'll spoil everything. I can just taste that money. We cannot let her take it away from us. Tony! Tony, from this moment you will no longer hear Tia. She cannot break through my power of control. - Acknowledge. - Tony, what's wrong? It's me, your sister. Try to remember me. Acknowledge. Tony? - Yes, sir. - Get those kids. She'll use some of those molecules on us. I'll take care of her before she gets a chance, you get them. I can't get through. I don't know what they've done to his mind. We've got to find the emergency cooling system ourselves. How do you spell cooling? Come on. Look out. We've got to find the emergency switches. You two go that way, and you two go that way. Tony, we must eliminate Tia. You will cause that portable utility panel to run her down. Hey, Tia, come here. Come on. That ain't it, right? - You found it! - I knew it was it! But, it's spelt wrong. You guys get dazzler and muscles. OK. Come on. The rest of the money's just arrived. All right. I'd better call Gannon. The cooling system's on. Switch it off. We lost it! What's going on down there? It's coming back. 650, 600... Gotcha! Tony, you must stop her. Tony, why are you doing these things? Why are you using your powers against me? What's happened? Tony pretend to remember Tia. Lure her to the center of the room and make that crane drop on her. Tia! I'm starting to remember. What was the matter with you? I don't know, exactly... but... I need help. Don't go any closer. Why? What is it, Tony? Tony, stop it! Stop it, Tony, stop it! Exert a force greater than hers. Why are you doing this, Tony? Stop. Crush her. Kill her! Crush her! Crush her! Crush her! Finish her! Now! Tia. Where are we? What's happened? Tony. Tony, we can still do it. We can still make use of molecular control. OK, doc, let's do it. Letha! Why don't we all go and have some... some candy and, uh, sodas and ice cream? Next time... - ...next time I'll... - Forget it. I've lost my faith in science. Sickle! Aunt Letha! Oh, aunt Letha. Help. Aunt Letha? Aunt Letha? It's absolutely dreadful the way they bring up children these days. Come on. Tony, the bus won't run without me in it. It's all my fault. It's such a mess. Well, I guess we'll just have to fix it. I'm sure Uncle Bene won't mind. I'll do the engine. You do the body work. - OK. - So long, Alfie. Goodbye, Alfred. What job will you do now, Mr. Yo-Yo, uh, Yokomoto? Oh, I've saved my money. I'll probably open a Japanese delicatessen. Hey, kids, look. I don't understand this. - Man! - Wow, what a family. The molecules must have rearranged themselves... - ...somehow. - Uh, that's a possibility. You know what this means? They never saw the wreck. I'll tell them that the reports were exaggerated. And, if you kids will go back to school, I'm sure they won't fire me. You will go back to school, won't you? Well, if we was to go back to school, could we get as smart as Tia and Tony? - Maybe even smarter. - Yeah, sure. Let's give it a shot. Great. I hope the school can take it. - Goodbye, Yo-Yo. - Goodbye. - See you later, Yo-Yo. - You promised. Tia, open the gate. No, everybody join hands. Cool! All right! Flying saucer! Will we ever see you again? Well, it's... it's kind of hard to say. Thanks for everything. And especially for letting me be in your gang. Take care of Alfred for me, OK? There you are. - Where's your luggage? - Uh, we lost it. There were a few problems. - But you did have fun? - Oh, terrible. I just knew we should have gone surfing. Hey. Let's do it the way Tia and Tony taught us. Yeah. - Ready? - One, two, three! - Hey, Yo-Yo! - Yo-Yo! Guess what! Tia and Tony just drove off in a flying saucer. Flying saucer? How about whooshing yourself into the bus? But, it's true. Lookit, I saw those two kids do miraculous things. I believe anything and everything, except that. Get in. I hope this school teaches about flying saucers. Yeah. Flying saucers. [machine whirring] [girl] nice landing, Uncle Bene. Right on the 50-yard line. [boy] should've gone for a touchdown. Next time, I'll put it right between the goalposts. [girl] can't wait to see the museums and go to all the concerts. [Bene] that's why we arranged this little vacation. We've been so busy establishing our community on Witch Mountain That you two haven't had an opportunity To see what life in the big city is all about. I'd rather go to the beach and learn how to surf. [chuckling] there'll be another time for that. Just remember what I told you, and have a lot of fun. - It's locked. - Tia? Tony, come back here. Now, never energize unless it's absolutely necessary. Tia? If earth kids can live here without energizing, you can too. [tires screeching] [brakes squealing] You the party I'm supposed to pick up? - [Bene] just the children. - All right. Meter's running, hop in. I got it. [cabbie grunts] I've been waiting here forever. You know, people wait for taxis, not taxis wait for people. We're exactly on time. Yeah, well, kind of a strange time and place to be making a pick up. I mean, if you're here for the next game, it's in three months. We have seats on the 50-yard line. [Tony laughs] Deliver the children to this address. You'll be paid after you arrive. This is a big fare here. If these kids pay me, I hope they know I get a big tip. Now, everything's been arranged. I'll see you Friday. - Ok. Goodbye, Uncle Bene. - Goodbye. - Have fun, you two. - [tires screeches] [engine revving] [horn honking] - Look at that dummy. - [honking horn] Get off the road, you dummy. [sighs] These civilians don't know how to drive. They ought to be kept off the streets. The streets belong to us professional drivers. Taxis, buses, trucks. That's all that should be allowed on the streets. You see, I happen to know a great deal about driving. I have a perfect safety record. [honking horn] Come on, get out of the way, you bum. [sighs] [car doors shut] [woman] thank you. Thank you, sickle. Well, this is a perfect test site. Little traffic And low real estate value. It's adequate, I suppose. Ok, let's get this over with. This thing on all right? It's ready. What do you want him to do this time? I want you to climb that fire escape To the absolute top. Wait a minute. Uh-uh. This is as high as I go. You want me to break somebody's leg? Just tell me how many pieces. But up there, I don't go. - Why not? - Because I'm afraid of heights. I will get dizzy. I will fall. That is true, Victor. He has acrophobia Among other things. Find a different test for him. Acrophobia is not a problem with my device. Start climbing. I will do anything else you say, But I am not going up that building, understand? - I... - Sickle I command you to climb up that fire escape. You will go to the very top, You will turn around, and you will look down. And you will not be frightened of heights. Off you go. It's working. It's working! It seems to be. Victor. Victor, you are risking his life. He's my nephew. My only living relative. He's the only one I can leave my Uh, my bankruptcy to. That's what experimentation is all about, Letha. [Letha] we cannot afford to lose him. I am the only one we cannot afford to lose. Can't you see that I've got complete control over his mind? He has no fear, no memory, no will. He can only carry out my commands. - [car rattling] - what... What's happening? We're out of gas. What are you, crazy? Look at the dial, it points to... Empty. Empty? - [exhales] - [horns honking] It was all that waiting I had to do for youse. I'll run down the street to the gas station and get some gas. Boy, oh, boy. You guys are costing me a lot of dough. I sure hope you make the tip worth it. Something's going to happen to someone near here. We've got to help. No, I think you'd better stay here and wait for the driver. I'll go. I think it came from back that way. Be careful. And remember what Uncle Bene said. That is enough. Bring him down! [victor] sickle, turn to your right. Balance yourself And walk along the ledge. [Letha] Victor, no. Stop. I'll bring him down myself. Give that to me. [wires crackling] Look what you've done. [exhales sharply] Sickle, stop. Sickle, I'm commanding you to stop. Sickle, this is Dr. Victor Gannon commanding you to stop! - He's out of control. - [Letha] sickle! Go back! [Letha screeching] sickle! No! Letha... Look. - I can't look. - You must. [footsteps approaching] [Letha] it's miraculous. There are no miracles, Letha. Only scientific explanations for everything. Well, then, just explain to me what we're seeing. It... Must be That... Boy. There's a... There's a force that Centers around that boy. A force capable of countermanding The basic physical law of... Gravity. Victor, I don't know what you're talking about. Molecular mobilization. - I need that boy, Letha. - [horns honking] - I need him desperately. - Now, just a minute. Brilliant, my boy. Brilliant. Congratulations, young man, for a fantastic... Well, whatever it was you just did, It was absolutely heroic. It was nothing, I just... [gasps] [tires screeching] [sirens approaching] [dog barks] [helicopter approaching] [boy #1] get off the street! - [boy #2] run! - [boy #3] hide! [boy #4] here come the goon goons! [older boy #1] let's get 'em! [older boy #2] they run like chickens. [boy #1] more goons! [boy #2] we're trapped! [boy #3] hide or they'll get ya. Over here. [older boy #2] it ain't no use hiding behind those trash cans. [older boy #1] the earthquakes' got girls in their gang. Let's finish 'em. [older boy #1] hey! [older boy #2] now, where in the world did that come from? It was a set up. - Let's give it to 'em. - Yeah. - [all yell] - hey! [laughing] That was an ambush! [older boy #2] stop banging into me. [older boy #1] I can't see. [older boy #3] I can't get out. [older boy #4] get me out. Get it off me. [boys] yeah! All right! Hey, you really saved us from getting wiped out. Yeah, thanks a lot. - What's your name? - Tia. - I'm Rocky. - I'm muscles. - Crusher. - And I'm dazzler. We're the earthquake gang. Does that scare you? - No. - Aww. Let's change our name again. We gotta have a name that scares. - Yeah. - Hey. How'd you do what you done? Well, I really didn't do anything. Yeah. You a magician or something? No. You want to join our gang? I'm sorry. I'm looking for someone. - Thanks anyway. - Aw, sure. I guess you're like the rest of them. You've heard we're a nothing gang. Yeah, well we ain't always gonna be nothing. Someday we're gonna be the toughest. Take over the whole territory. Someday they're gonna run when they see us coming down the block. All right. It's just that I've got to find my brother. What gang does he belong to? - He doesn't belong to any gang. - [boys snicker] I never heard of a Guy that never belonged to a gang. I'm sure something's happened. I've got to find him. If anybody could find him, we could. I mean, we know this town inside out. Oh, would you? Hey, yeah, sure. Listen, you done us a big favor, now we'll do it for you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Hey, come on, let's go. That Tony sure made himself scarce. - We better walk you home. - Where do you live? I... I was supposed to stay at a hotel. But I don't know which one. You could stay in our hideout. - [boys] yeah! - Thank you. We'll look for Tony tomorrow. If we aren't busy beating up goons. - Yeah. - Hey, it's yo-yo. - Get down. - Come on, hide. - Did he see us? - I don't know. - But he's coming this way. - [Tia] who is he? - [muscles] our worst enemy. - He's worse than the goons. [Rocky] he's Mr. Yokomoto, the truant officer. He's trying to make us go back to school. [dazzler] let's go. [all] yeah! That's our hideout. [stairs creaking] [Tia] when do the ghosts get here? [Rocky] don't say things like that. This place could really scare ya. [gasps] Come on. This is where we're gonna live when we run away from home. Yeah, you can't be tough If you take orders from your mom or older sister. That's why we quit school. You can't be tough and educated, too. [crusher] yeah. - Tony! - [boys] where? I had a contact with him. You... You calling on the spirits? Shh. - She's weird. - She's creepy. I... I ain't too sure I wanna meet this Tony. Shh! Tony, where are you? He's coming in again. I can only see a light. That's all. Now it's... Going black. Now it's... Completely gone. [machines beeping] He's doing that? He's projecting a magnetic field through his reflexes As he struggles to regain consciousness. His output is so great, That my machines aren't even capable of measuring it. But he's dangerous. Once I have control of his brain, Letha, He will only be dangerous to others. I hope you realize that kidnapping's a criminal offense. My experiments are more important than the law, Letha. With these receptors placed on certain people, Combined with this boy's powers, I could become one of the most influential men in the world. Oh, you are absolutely brilliant, professor. Now we can go ahead with my plans, too. Don't bother me with your plans. They're empty, unimportant. A comment, perhaps, on you and the life you've been leading. Now, you look here, Doctor, professor, physicist. Whatever you are. I built this laboratory for you at great expense. I used every penny I had. Now, we've made a lot of plans and I won't let you upset them. I want some money. Fast. Letha, we are worlds apart. My mind is filled with large concepts. Mankind, the universe. You only worry about the horse that's running in the third race. Sure, I gamble But with my own money. You're the worst kind of gambler. You use other people's money And want to keep all the winnings for yourself. Well, you can be sure of one thing, Victor. I'll be around to pick up the chips with you. - [wires pop and sizzle] - [Tony moans] [panting] [grunting] We'll be back in the morning with maps and breakfast. I'll bring an egg from my refrigerator. And I'll bring some day-old bread. - I'll bring some milk for you. - Thank you. - You're good friends. - That's the trouble with us. We don't want to be good. We want to be bad. Yeah. Hey, uh, let's go, you guys. My mom's gonna yell at me. [crusher] see you tomorrow, Tia. [muscles] we'll find Tony tomorrow for sure. [Rocky] let's stay close together on the way out, guys. [sighs] Good. This is professor Gannon... [indistinct shouting] Tony! He's in some kind of a room. Like a hospital. With machines and instruments and things. Oh, that's easy. All we have to do is check all the hospitals. While we going around looking for a fight. Come on. [victor] you will now function exclusively under control. You will no longer think independently. All thinking and reasoning will be done By the voice that commands you. Do you understand? - Yes. - What is your name? - Tony. - Where are you from? Witch mountain. Sounds like some hick town to me. How did you suspend Mr. Sickle in mid-air? By energizing matter. Do you mean to say that you can control molecular flow? Yes, sir. - How did you learn to do this? - I was born with the ability. I wish to see a demonstration of molecular flow. You are strapped to the table. Unbuckle yourself and sit up. Power has come into our hands Which is centuries before its time. We must use it wisely. Well, what can you have him do? Other than go around making people's belts unbuckle. The possibilities are unlimited. Oh, come on. It's just some gimmick, that's all. Tony... Mr. Sickle, whose life you saved, Doesn't seem to believe in you. Mr. Sickle needs convincing, Tony. [knob squeaks] [gas hissing] Hey, come on. Hey, get back! Get back! Get back! Don't. [grunting] get back! [goat bleats] I can see how that'd be a big hit at a scientific convention. But the bottom line is, how do we make money with it? [goat bleats] I will demonstrate an industrial application. Come with me, Tony. [gas continues to hiss] Now, Tony, those wine casks... Stack them... Neatly. Two glasses of burgundy, please. To molecular mobilization. To molecular capitalization. - [goat bleats] - [gas hisses] [muscles] hey, got any more clues? No. Nothing at all. It's so strange. We've been to every hospital and he's in none of them. It's like his mind's a blank. He probably conked out somewhere. - Don't listen to him. - We'll find Tony for sure. Yeah, we'll turn the town upside down. Yeah. - [sickle] what're you doing? - [Letha] thinking. Thinking about us in a different place, such as... Las Vegas With Tony. Seven or eleven every time, right? A day at the races. All the long shots come in. [laughs] you do have an imagination, after all. The possibilities with Tony are unlimited. For example, he stacked the wine casks by just looking at them. If he can stack them, he can unstack them. The gold is on display at the museum. Protected by an impenetrable security system. Just sitting there waiting for us To penetrate it. Wait a minute. Us? You mean Gannon said it's ok to use the control on Tony? Professor Gannon is extremely busy being a genius. I own half the invention, Half of Tony, that means I own half of the profits. So far, the return on my investment has been half of zero. What about security. We'd need an army to pull it off. We'll have an army with us! Tony. [chuckles] Tony? Tony? Tony, why can't I getthroughtoyou? Tony? I'll pick up the new transistors, make a few stops. Be back later on. [Letha] don't worry. Everything's under control. Tony. This is Letha wedge, Commanding you to open your eyes. Now, stand up. We're going to the museum for education and profit. [brakes squeak] Tony and I will do a little... Sightseeing. [indistinct chatter] [Tia] wait. Gold! I see gold. - Hey it's mine. - Where is it? - Hey, give it to me! - No! A stagecoach. She must be tuned in on a western. Yeah. I see dummies. [both] that's you. No. Old things. Clothing. Hey, he's at the salvation army. Nah, they don't got stagecoaches at the salvation army. They don't got gold, neither. Wait a minute, wait a minute! We had one of them nothing school trips. To the museum. Yeah, they got a pile of gold. And a stagecoach. They had to kick me out. We've got to go there. Come on, it's over here. [kids grunting] [indistinct chatter] [tires screech] Now, Tony. We're going to create a little diversion. The stagecoach. I want you to roll it all around the museum. [woman gasps] [woman] look out. [man] watch it. [man] watch out for that thing, it's coming this way. Hey, where are the horses? I... Don't know. Now cause total chaos. [man] watch out. [yelps] Short circuit the control system. [control system buzzes] [indistinct yelling] [guard screams] Oh, no. Letha! Letha! [indistinct shouting] [chortling] - [gasps] - look out. [man] get out of my way. [moaning] [guards yell] [man] can't you put that thing out? Come on, take a shot. Move it. Now, Tony, Make a hole in the plastic shield. And it doesn't have to be neat. Tony, unstack the gold bars and deliver them to Mr. Sickle. [man] move it buddy, move it. We gotta get out of here! Las Vegas, here we come. Oh! - Look. - [bars thudding] Come on, follow me. Tony, make them go faster. [woman] watch out! Hey, Letha! Hey, Letha! - [woman screams] - [man] hey! [indistinct chatter] Look out, lady. Yeah, why don't you watch where you're going, you big dummy. [gasps] [man] look out, Eddie! [Letha] Tony, what's happening? [Tony] molecular flow reversing. - Are you doing this? - No. Then who is? It would have to be one of my people. - There are more like you? - Yes. - Oh! Let's get out of here. - [Tia] Tony! Tony! Who's that? It's my sister. My sister, Tia. This is no time for a family reunion. [crowd murmuring] [victor] Letha! Tony! [victor] you fool! How could you do this? [Letha] not now. - [door shuts] - [engine sticking] - What's wrong? - I don't know. I keep it running perfect. It's Tony's sister, she did it. She's as weird as he is. Tony, I command you to make this car run perfectly And continuously without interference from your sister. [engine starts] I can't stop the car. Tony's energizing it. It's like your brother doesn't even know you. - [Rocky] it's yo-yo. Let's go! - No. Don't run. You crazy? You don't want to go to that school. Please, trust me. Now, come on, hurry. [Rocky] hey, wait for me. [dazzler] come on, you guys. Get in there. - Let's go! - Come on, get in. - [door shuts] - I'm dreaming. You're surrendering to the board of education? Sir, you see that car going down the street? - Yeah. - My brother's in it. He ought to be going to school. You ought to catch up with him. Another truant? Oh, boy, we're gonna have a load. - Hey, what happened? - Good driving, yo-yo. Yeah, that was neat. [laughs] this bus can really move. Tony, look through the window. The rear window. That minibus is following us. I command you to place obstacles in its path. [tires squeal] City property. I've damaged city property. [moaning] [panting] they said these glasses were shatterproof. Was that a bus or a bridge? They're still with us. Tony, you must stop her. Man, that man was really buzzing. Am I still alive? [tires screech] They're gaining on us. She counteracts everything that Tony does. Tony, you've got to stop her. We flew! [boys cheering] They must've flown. Don't you dare try it. Sickle... Sickle, stop... Stop over that hill. Tony, cause the reflection of the sun on the rear window To magnify and shine so brightly That our pursuers'll be blinded by it. [glass breaking] [van scrapes road] [muscles] come on, open the doors. [crusher] I can't see. - [Tia] yeah. - [muscles] come on, let me out. - Everybody ok? - [all kids] yeah, sure. Oh, look what's happened to city property. No... But I'm still gonna take you to school. - Just soon as I... - Come on. [siren approaching] You jeopardized my life's work. My accountants' are desperate. You've proved yourself incompetent yet again. I don't even know if I can trust you anymore. You don't trust me? I trusted you enough To make my credit rating look like Swiss cheese. Don't tell me you don't trust me. We have to trust each other. Right. I trust everybody. Yes... Well, fortunately, I thought of something very spectacular Which will satisfy both of us in terms of prestige and money. Well, you have the prestige, I'll take the money. But, before we celebrate your return to sanity, We'd better do something about Tony's sister. How did she know we were at the museum? I... I'm not certain. Tony. How did your sister know that we were at the museum? Telepathy. She'll show up again and ruin everything. In that case, she will have to be, as you would say Scratched? [Tony whispering] Tia. [louder] Tia. Tia! [Tia] what happened to you? [Tony] I can't explain now. I've lost the power to energize. [Tia] where are you? [Tony] follow my voice path. Please! [Tia] ok. Guide me. [dog barks] Tony, which way? [Tony] this way. [sirens blaring] Which way, Tony? Whichway? [Tony] keep moving straight ahead. This is the house. Here, look. Come on. - [door closes] - down here. [goat bleats] Be quiet, Alfred, you silly thing. [Tony] Tia! Tony! [yells] [gas hissing] I've put her into a state of comatose neutralization. [crusher] hey, Tia. We got you some cold hotcakes. She ain't here. Hope she didn't go looking for Tony without us. Yeah, she needs us. [Tia] Tony? Crusher? Muscles? Rocky? - Dazzler? - [ Alfredbleats] Alfred. Alfred, what'sthematterwith me? Where am I? Alfred, find the earthquakes. [bleating] Listen to me. [bleating] [hoof steps approaching] [bleating] [sickle] what kind of place is that? [victor] that is an underground plutonium processing plant. Translate that into financial terms. Plutonium is more valuable than gold. That's why I like scientists. They're always discovering new, expensive things. It is used in the explosive core of nuclear missile warheads. I suppose you're going to have Tony Split an atom bomb or something. In effect Yes Well, I didn't count on killing anybody. Especially not us. It will never go that far. They will pay anything to prevent it. This is the first step towards my becoming The most powerful man in the world. Ids, please. Take a powder. [laughing] Tony. Those are the outer security scanners. Put them out of commission Permanently. [static] The scanning systems are malfunctioning. All right, let's run a maintenance check. Three million bucks, you'd think these things would work right. - Where to? - Andy's place, know it? Yeah, sure. I know where everything is. Second and third? - [man] fourth and market. - That one. - Hop in. - I'm in a hurry. Could you... [grunts] - Don't worry. - [tires screech] Have you there in a couple of minutes. [Alfred bleats] Listen. Feel the power in this cab? - [Alfred bleats] - it has lots of power. You know, everybody tells me, I ought to be a race driver. - What do you think? - [bleats] Well, I think you're wrong. Don't worry about nothing, sir. I'm a very safe driver. - Want me to tell you how safe? - [Alfred bleating] I'll tell you anyway. I've been driving a hack for 19 years and 11 months. And in all that time, I never even put one scratch on a cab. In fact, next month, They're gonna give me a gold safety award. - What do you think of that? - [bleating] Boy, you don't like nothing. - I sure hope you're a good tipper. - [bleats] I knew there was something about you that didn't look right. [tires screeching] [cabbie] hey! Hey! You owe me a fare! [cabbie sighs] - Officer, that goat's a guy. - The goat? The guy became a goat when I'm driving. The guy? This magician beat me out of this fare. The magician? - My perfect record. - Record? Oh... Record. I ain't gonna get the gold safety award. - [hoof steps approaching] - hear that? That must be her. - [bleats] - come on. [boys grunting and panting] [dazzler] help me. [grunts] hey. Watch out. - [bleating] - get him away. - [moans] - how'd you get in here? Hey, come on, get out of here. [Rocky] watch out! He's looking at me like he knows me. Hey, what do you want from me? Get away! He's got Tia's vest. Get him! Quick. - [phone ringing] - we'regoingfor coffeenow. - [phone ringing] - can I bring you a cup? May I see your ids, please? Tony? Show him our id. What's happening? Why? Don't leave me up here. Open the door, Tony. You can't go in there without ids. - Now seal it. - How do I get down? [boys panting] Tia! - Quick, let's get her out. - Yeah. - Phew, it smells. - [boys cough] It's some kind of a gas. Come on. [inhales deeply] You ok now? Yes, thank you. This is some kind of Science place. - How'd you get here? - It was Tony. He was here. I saw something! What was it? It's where Tony is. I'm sure of it! A big, round shape. A doughnut! He's eating a doughnut. No way! Is it like a ball? A great big ball? - Yes. - I know where he is. Let's go! Hurry, let's go. [Alfred bleats] Oh, thank you. And thanks for everything. Come on, let's go. We are about to make scientific history. [Letha] and some money, too, I hope. You will shut down the complete cooling system of the furnace. [alarm ringing] It's a red light on the cooling system. It must be a circuit breaker. Restart the system. I can't get a restart. Hit the backup system. It's no-go on backup. Temperature increasing in the furnace. - Get that coolant flowing. - [phone buzzes] - Furnace control. - Control? You don't really think you're controlling anything, do you? - [alarm continues buzzing] - who is this? [victor] this is Dr.VictorGannon, It's the finest picture I've ever seen. They've gone, every single one. Who have? - Percy's pack of suitors. So will he be OK? - Yes. The whole thing has disappeared. Roly's in seventh heaven. Morning, Helen. Morning, James. - (Helen) Morning, Siegfried. A quiet night? Yes, only one call and that was delightful. I delivered six bouncing Labrador puppies. That's right, my boy. Your friend Mrs Farmer. What a delightful woman she is. Very...generous disposition. Knows how to show her gratitude. Only the best malt whisky. On the other hand, she's a woman of eccentric tastes. Positively weird. Do you know what she asked me to do, Helen? I couldn't begin to imagine, Siegfried. All right, I'll tell you. She asked me to ask Tristan if he'd like to have supper with her. (James) Ohh! (Siegfried) On Saturday. James... you wouldn't care to hold the fort for me on Saturday, would you? All right. (Laughter) Hey Sara, is your mother around? What do you mean who am I? Don't you really recognize me? It's not funny! Don't laugh. Can I talk to your mother? Are you alone? Do you like being alone? Yes that's true. We haven't been going out much lately. But that doesn't mean I don't think of you. "WHAT MAX SAID" Sara, you seriously didn't recognize me? It was a joke? Well, if your mother is not around, nothing. Don't tell her I called. I'll call again. Goodbye. Kisses. Doctor Tarras? I'm a patient. Máximo Gascón. Yes, please. It won't take long, just a minute. Doctor Tarras? I don't know if you remember some days ago you put me a tooth cap. And... it's moving. I'm sorry. Didn't know it was that late. Alright, at the clinic. I'm sorry for waking you up. Goodbye. Thank you very much. Federico? It's Max. Were you having dinner? Well, don't worry. It's not urgent. No, I just wanted to end the other day discussion. Because... I think you cut the conversation in a very frivolous way. Yes. You said I was a fanatic intellectual.. From the 17th century searching for the absolute truth. Well... I'm not trying to sermonize you. I just wanted to end the discussion. Okay, go eat your dinner. Bye. Hello? I'm Max. Excuse me, I thought you were Cristina. I got the wrong number. Sorry. Fermín? I'm Max. Hey, don't you remember Cristina's number by any chance? What do you mean Cristina who? Well, some years went by but... you know Cristina. Yes, of course, that Cristina! All of a sudden I thought I could remember her number. Yes that's right. It's possible that she doesn't live there anymore. But, I don't know. Nothing in particular. I just... wanted to know how she was. Well, I'll find her anyways. Thanks a lot Fermín. Bye. Can you put Father Urlieta on the phone please? Thank you. Father Urlieta? I'm an old student from high school. My name is Máximo Gascón. They called me Max. Yes... I think you should remember. You taught me religion for 4 years! Of course it was a lot time ago... 30... More than 30 years ago I think. If I'd tell you some details you surely remember me. We'd spend the entire day talking and arguing. About everything. Theology and ethics... Everything. And suddenly I'm remembering all those conversations. And I'd like to clarify some misunderstandings that happened back in the days. Father Urlieta, are you there? No, It's not about any religious doubt. In fact, what I'd like to talk with you is about those conversations. You were very efficient and convincing when arguing. It was some kind of dialectics full of sophisms. An authentic brainwashing. I'm not trying to offend you. In fact, my intentions are pure. Absolutely pure. I just wanted to see you and talk with you. I'm sorry but I'd like to see you. Yes, yes. Any other day. I'll call you. Well, thank you Father Urlieta. Bye. Man! You look good with that beard! What have you done? You'd be surprised by the enormous amount of sounds around us. And we don't listen to them at all. Do you use that for your compositions? We'll see... I'm not sure. You could compose some kind of horror symphony with those noises. People are so used to them it would be difficult to scare them. I bet silence would scare them more. It'd leave them with their own noises. Exactly. Like what happened to me. What about the play? Good. After this long time there's nothing much to do but asking questions. And Clara? Did you have any children? One daughter. We're separated. But you were the perfect couple! Well, at least to me! You're exaggerating. - It was a crazy love! I'm telling you! Even once, the cops stopped you in the middle of the street! Because we were making out. At that time kissing in the street at daylight... You tell me. It was only because we were young. You still are. Not long ago I read your article in a magazine. I can't remember which one. You basically said the real protest emerges spontaneously, apart from the political parties. It wasn't exactly like that. Something like that. As you know, I don't care about politics at all. I can't do nothing about it. It must be because of my pessimism. But every time I think about those issues, I get useless conclusions. I'm such a mess... On the other hand, I'm sure you chose right. You're fine. That's what the doctor says. But it's not true. You know I've always envied your job? The music? To me it's like magic. Of course I have a terrible hearing. There's nothing to envy about. It's just a hobby, not a job. The composer who doesn't perform is nothing but an amateur. I thought you were fine in Germany. Yes... Well that was before the sanitarium. What sanitarium? Didn't you know? Everybody knows it! I spent two years in a madhouse. I didn't know at all. Yes. But what happened to you? I had a screw loose I guess. But know you feel better? Besides, you know, the crazy ones are the most intelligent. It's a shame that no one else thinks that way. You shouldn't care. Of course I care, unfortunately. Well, I'm fine now. I have a couple of projects. Even though I only need an orchestra. But apart from that I'm practicing some songs. Hey, I'd like you to hear them. Why don't you come by any time? My opinion could unsettle you. You could tell me something about the lyrics. Be sure I will. So you're not that bad? I'm always complaining. It's the very first thing that psychiatrists teach you. To complain about everything. Since the moment they tell you you're dominated by the subconscious you start playing the victim of everything. If I knew, I'd have visited you. But I was really taken care of in the sanitarium. Besides, Laura was so kind to me. She worked, took care of all the expenses... She visited me frequently. The only bad situation... Took place when I went back home. I can't blame Laura. She's much younger than me. And two years is too much time. The thing is when I was back, she had a lover. I didn't say a thing to her when she told me. She told me she was incapable of leaving her lover. And I accepted. I would've accepted anything from her. I felt so grateful. I felt an infinite debt to her. Moreover, I was so used to see Laura as the head of the family... that for a little time I was the one cleaning the house. I can assure you I did it better than her. The truth is I couldn't do anything else. I couldn't go out. The mere fact of deciding to do anything was below the threshold. I was afraid of people walking in the streets. The more movement I saw around me, the more I wanted to be still. I'm sure things weren't as bad as I remember them now. Are you coming to the rehearsal? -Well... One of the songs is going to amaze you. Then I'll go for sure. Even now I can't understand everything that happened back then. I felt such panic I wanted to go back to the madhouse. Stop thinking about it. The funniest thing was when Laura left that guy... She almost reproached me for my apathy. Are you writing in your diary? How do you know I have a diary? You told me. I'm sure I didn't tell you anything. But are you writing it? Yes. And what is it about? About what happens to me. Some stuff. You're not very talkative today. I'm upset. With me? With mom. Don't tell her about the diary. I won't. You always end up telling her everything. - I won't say a word. She'd start asking... and as I won't say anything she'd look for it everywhere. Did you hide it? Don't think I'm gonna tell you where it is. But you can tell me some of the stuff you write about. What for? You wouldn't understand. Why wouldn't I? Because you live different. That's true. But I've also lived like you. I also wrote in my diary. Do you still have it? I've lost it. But do you remember the things you wrote? Some of them. Tell me. See how one can't tell a thing about that? It must've been too boring. Why? I remember how I wrote the things that happened to me. For example: "I woke up at 8. It was cold." The bed was warm. "I was almost late... because Jacoba took too long to make breakfast." Things like that. I've dreamt about dogs. -With dogs? Yes. That happened very often. I saw a square full of dogs. They moved, sniffed around... There wasn't any people. Only dogs! And sometimes, me. Don't you remember about going to the beach? Arrizaga, Alonso, Adbinu, Arza... I still know it! No, please, don't name the whole list. -Arostegui... Arostegui comes before Arza! You're right. I'm sure I couldn't recognize any of them. Arostegui, Arza, De Blas... I remember a lot of soccer team lineups. The Italian one was beautiful. Lupo, Taviani, Becattini,.. Estébanez, Estremianas... Who were the next to Estremianas? Alcón! Maybe I know the class list better! What time is it? It's 12:15. -I haven't called Laura yet. Be right back. Julian and I were close friends. When you're young, you meet friends everyday and then they vanish. Don't you get bored with our silliness? -No. How long didn't you guys see each other? We met by coincidence the other day. Apart from that... Maybe 10 years or more... You also named that list back then? I hope not. The last thing I remember is we were really drunk. At dawn we decided to look for an old mutual girlfriend. What a catastrophe... Didn't you find her? Yes. Amelia. The husband tried to throw us down the stairs! She was completely fat! They say us singers end up fat. I'm sure you won't. Laura says hi. How is she? -Fine. She's still my guardian angel. Always worried about me. She asked me how were you doing. And what was your answer? That you look so great! And what do you think? I think you have a normal look. A moment ago, I was thinking how would you look without beard. Taxi! Luisa! Make him come to the concert! Hey Max, if you don't come, let's not wait another 10 years huh? Do you like singing, right? Yes. It's what a like the most. And do you like that song you sang before? I know that poem is yours. It'd be better to say it was. I wrote it more than 20 years ago. How were you like back then? Without beard. Why don't you ask me to come to your place? I'm asking myself the same. I can assure you I'm not calling for nothing. Then put me with the asylum's principal. Alright, with the housemother then. Good evening. I was trying to explain to the other Mrs. the matter of my call. But apparently, there's a strong discipline in not letting an adult lady, who's there by her own will, answer the phone. I'm not trying to teach you anything. But... I don't see the necessity in imposing... military rules to some peaceful old people. The problem is this: It turns out that Jacoba... left home leaving a note in which she wrote me where she was going. Without any apparent reason. Please note that I'm disconcerted. Jacoba's been at home for more than 40 years. I don't know. I can't remember her last name. Good morning. Did you make all this by yourself? Of course. And where did you get the jam and the toasts? Everything was in the house. And the cups? They're yours. Where were they? There. They'd only be used for special occasions. Like today, for example. God, they're tasty. Don't laugh. One breakfast like this could end all the day worries. What an easy remedy. As simple as making it everyday. You'll have to come and make it. I'll do it for a reasonable price. Where will you say you stayed the night? What is the matter? Will you lie? Nobody will ask me. Where did you meet mom? At college. And had you met other girls before? Yes. Specially one. What was her name? Why do you care? Come on, tell me. If you tell me about your writings. That's blackmail. Then I'm not telling you her name. Her name was Amelia. Was she pretty? No. But she told me that she liked me, and that she was feeling good with me. Are you and mom still arguing? Much less now. Poor Clara... Why do you say "poor Clara"? -It's just a manner of speaking. She says the same about you. Is that right? You're sad. Clara is right. Mum's used to speak badly of you. But I always defend you. Don't do it. It's useless. -But it upsets me. If I'd say bad things about mom, would you defend her as well? I've never heard you dissing her. Well I can do it. Mom is so selfish. She just wants everybody saying good things to her. Everybody like that. Yeah, but maybe there's someone thinking different. Clara demands everything and she's right. Mom says you're a looser. To whom? I heard. She said that so you'd listen to it. -No. But I'm sure she knew I was listening. With whom were she talking to? Could you guess? I met a woman once... -Aren't you interested in what mom said anymore? Once, I met a woman who told me to write down 7 numbers. -And she told you each number slowly without failing. And all the numbers were odds. Well then, with whom were she talking to? To Juan. Juan? Clara is dating Juan? You're never aware of anything. Do they go out frequently? Juan says he wants to live with Clara. She's crazy. He also says you're still in love with mom. And that you'll always be. I don't understand why all men are after her. It was always like that. Are you in love with mom? Me? No. Love vanishes. And it never comes back. When we decided to split up, my wife assumed that I was leaving and she was keeping the house. That's what happens usually. I think it's not fair. But surprisingly I accepted that as something natural. Someone had to leave. We could've flipped a coin, for example. And where did you go? To a hotel. Even now I still ask myself what I was doing in that room all alone.. Awake and looking at the ceiling. But wasn't there another woman? -Yes, Rosa. It took some days until I told her I've left Clara. Why? I don't know why I didn't go to my parents house in the very beginning either. And you had a woman.. And a house waiting for you? And you went to a hotel? I was there for a few days without unpacking the bags. Then I reacted and I called Jacoba to tell her I was coming over. By the way she was really upset with me. And Rosa? I couldn't go to Rosa's place because her husband was there. You didn't tell me that. Truth is I felt offended by the failure of my marriage. That's why I stayed at the hotel. So absurd. -Quite absurd, yes. Do you have any children? One daughter. Sara. She kept her too. I think that's great. You tell me why? We had terrible conflicts about Sara. I started showing myself weak and falling back.. And all of a sudden I had to ask for permission to see my daughter. (Praying) Follow me. She's much better now. Jacoba! Don't bother her. Jacoba. Who's there? -I'm Máximo. Máximo? Did you come here from school? I don't know what to tell you. I don't know if your parents are at home or if they've left. Have you eaten already? Jacoba, how are you feeling? Bad. Last night was terrible. You look good. That's impossible at my age. Even more now... that I'm dying. Don't say that. I'm dying! Come on Jacoba, you have to be strong! I don't want to! I'm dying... It's all because of your son. It's a girl. Don't you remember? Why do you blame her? He's a selfish person. When he was small, he was so quiet. Probably he was thinking what he was going to do later. He was really cute. And very obedient. You know already what happened when he grew up. He turned out to be so ugly! Now that we're married I can tell you... He took away my house. You said the house was for me. But he came back and took it away. So I told him I was leaving to die in other place. Don't listen to her. She doesn't know what she's saying. I know what I'm saying! Who's that? She's a nun. She takes care of you. You're younger. And you have a son... But I'm your wife forever. So, when you die.. The house is for me. If not, why would I last this long. It's better to leave her rest. -I'm not tired! Why did you leave the house and came here? Do you want me to take you home? -What are you saying? That would kill her! Máximo can't be good to me! Yes.. Take me to my house! When you recover, you'll can come back. Now, you have to be strong. -I don't want to be strong. And you better realize this: I don't have anything to thank you or your parents for. It's better to leave her rest. I was leaving... -She can't be moved from here! I suppose... -She's perfectly fine! - Máximo! Come closer to the window. Have a look. They say breads are falling again. Watch out! Working conflicts. Pensioner's home. Yes, put it through. Hello? Yes I'm fine. Normal. Hear about what? Of course I've read the newspapers. Yes, I'll wait. Luisa. I prefer to meet Laura by myself. As you want. Yes. Yesterday. Almost at eight. Sometimes I heard him saying at dusk time. When I walked in the terrace door was opened. When I saw it, I knew what happened. Soon people screamed. Windows opened. Everybody showed up. They said someone fell out. As I was going up in the elevator he was falling down. Did he try it before? Never. I was scared of him doing it before. But he was fine now. You know they had to confine him. He told me the day we met. He was very good now. But I have an idea that comes to my mind. Julian wanted to win. To win? Why don't we leave? I'm afraid of people coming here. As you want. In the worst moments, Julian used to draw his silhouette with his finger. He'd repeat it... over and over. I didn't know what to say. When you met.. What did Julian say? We talked a bit about everything. He told me what happened to him. And about me? That you were nice to him. Nothing else? Also, what happened between you two. He didn't look very affected that day. It's true. Shall we leave? Do I look good? Very good. The day he met you, he came home radiant. The only important thing to him was that you wouldn't realize how happy he was for seeing you. Do you know why he chose my poem to compose? I thought he could've wrote it. Specially the last verses. "And with hands trembling..." How was it? "With hands trembling by tenderness". He said you wrote it thinking of Clara. Who knows. I'm sure. How is she? I guess she's fine. You and Clara broke up on time. I was determined to leave Julian when he'd go out of the sanitarium. I hoped to find him recovered and so I'd explain to him everything. But when he came back... I won't say he was worse. It's not that. But he was a total helpless person. I don't know what would he told you. He told me the same. I couldn't leave him in that spot. It was a terribly unfair situation for me. I thought that with me by his side I could help him. How is Luisa? Who told you about Luisa? I heard from mom. Well, from Berta. She was talking to her. What a lousy, filthy bad omen bird she is! What's omen? It's a sign, a premonition... I sense your eyes like dark violets... Who wrote that? Mine. -It's beautiful. And why wouldn't it be? Are you gonna write more poetry? I don't know. What did Berta say about Luisa? That she's a whore, more or less. But why do you care? And what did your mother say? Nothing. She said she knew you were dating some girl already, but she didn't know her. And Berta said she was very tall and young. Nothing else? Well.. she couldn't care less about who were you dating. That she only cared about when you're with me. And that she weren't calm we I'd leave. What does Clara mean by that? I want to meet Luisa. Do you want to know how is she? -Yes. Luisa sings. Does she play the guitar? I don't think so. Why not if she sings? She doesn't sings modern songs. She sings opera? -Yes. She's studying. She haven't performed yet. Then Berta was right. She's much younger than you. She is exactly 23 years old. Much younger than mom. And even younger than Berta! He's 18. He's studying economics. He's 5 years older than you? And what do you talk about? Dunno. About everything. What do you talk with Luisa? About everything too. But it's not the same. Why not? -Because it's not. What's his name? -Daniel. Daniel is in college, and he faces issues completely different than yours. What do you mean? Strikes and all that? -For example. Well we're gonna make one. I don't know if not going to school is considered as a strike. I'm not sure about that at all! You're so reactionary. I'm worried about you dating an 18 years old boy. And what if he were 20? I'd be more worried. Don't laugh about it. It's not funny at all. It's not that. The other day, a guy who's 20 asked me to go to skate with him. Then tell him to go to skate with his mom. Hey, that would be if I wouldn't wanted to go, huh? Don't talk to me like that! Can I know why are you upset? -I'm not, I'm just worried. You sound just like mom. "Don't talk to me like that!" Is there any of your friends talking to their fathers about this stuff? Not that I know of. And is there anyone brave enough to tell them the same? Neither. And what about that priest you guys are meeting. You talk like that? Like you and me? We don't talk to the priest. Just between us. Sometimes he says something. But that's it. But I'm not the priest. No. You're my father. I come here once a month and you always end up interrogating me. Sometimes I'd like to slap you face! No. Better hit me with your belt! Like Elena's father. And who's Elena's father? A beast, who else. Well, let's calm down. I'm calm. I assume I was bad at you. But you were too. Me? Why? You never give up! You're mad because I'm going out with Daniel. If he were 15 you'd be so happy. 15 is a much more similar age for you. That kid who came to eat with us one day was 15. He seemed nice. Normal. Do you think we talk in the same way with an adult? Then when there's someone older you guys lie? And you lie to me? Tell me. You lie to me. -I didn't say a thing. What you can be sure is I'm not telling you the whole truth. Tell me about Daniel. -Daniel? Yes. Don't think I've forgot. I told you he's 18 and he's studying economics. I know that already. What else? Don't think I know much more. Then when you meet... He says: "I'm 18 and I'm studying economics." He doesn't have that voice! And you answer him: "That's nice! I like you." You're so foolish. You guys must talk about something. -Yes. A lot of things, sure. Can't you tell me anything? I wouldn't know how to repeat them. Right. I'm your father and we can't talk in the same way. No. We can talk the same but no. It's not the same. It's different. I can't figure this out... What? Nothing. Doesn't matter. See? You keep to yourself some things too. But it's not the same. -Why not? You're 13... Daniel is 18... I'm your father... And I want to know what you're doing with an 18 years old boy! Well I go out with him, to the movies, we dance, laugh, argue, tell jokes, we go to the theater.. And nothing else! Had he kissed you? I said nothing else. Won't you have slept with him! That's why you're worried. The whole point was this. It's not funny. What if I'd answer yes. Nothing. What could I do? Who knows.. The first thing would be telling mom. Do you think I should tell her? You should know. So you've slept with him. If you say so... Want to make me angry? That's what you said when I was little. And what are you now? If I were so little you wouldn't ask me this. It's true, but now... -Now everything changed right? You're 13 now, and what you could do is serious. Like riding on Daniel's bike and crash into a truck. That doesn't matter to you. Of course it matters to me. No. Only if I've slept with Daniel. That is my concern me too. -No, just that! If you get so upset, maybe you did something! You always said I should do what seems right to me. And I'll always tell you that! -Then that's it. So you've slept with him? Don't be like that. -How do you want me to be? If you'd tell me the truth, you'd feel more calm. You'd feel more calm, but you won't! Why don't you stay the night here? I told you I couldn't. -I didn't get that impression. What then? What's the matter? Truth is nobody could find you for six days. Alright? You can do whatever you want. Of course. That's what I'm saying. But not what you're thinking. Do you know my thoughts better than me? I see you're going to sermonize me about what I've done, or what you or we've done. I've never asked you to change your behavior. Regardless of what I could think. -No. In the end you're living at Pablo's home. -In my house. I don't care who's the owner. If you'd analyze your behavior with me or Pablo, you'd realize the deep reason... -Don't start with your theories! You live completely apart from them. You've made up a character and your buying it. How is that character to you? -A victim of the society. An idealist, full of altruism. And actually you're selfish, dominant, maniac... And sometimes miserable like everyone else! I think you haven't missed anything. Of course I have! Or do you think it's easy to put up with someone teaching everyone? Is it better for you to act irrationally? A bit of that irrationalism could be good for you. I don't want to keep arguing about this! It'll be better if we don't see each other for a couple of days. I've been wanting to tell you that for a while. It'll be better if we don't meet ever again. I see you've thought about it. Yes. Then I agree. I'm sorry to tell you this while arguing. It's absurd to argue at this point. There's something true in what you say. Can I ask you something? Sure. It's something I'm always thinking. Why did you came here the first night? Because I liked you. Do you think I'm still attractive for women? To me, yes. Of course you are. You knew who I was. I've heard about you. Great piece for your collection. I don't know if you're mean or just pathetic! That night, the only thing that had your interest was the name. Be honest. But what does the first night matter? There have been other nights I think. I just wanted to be sure. Are you calm now? Yes. Then I'm leaving. Nobody stops here. I have an idea. Maybe if I wait here alone somebody stops. Why don't you hide behind there? -I won't. It's easier for a lonely girl. Don't be ridiculous! You're not going to stay here alone. -But you're gonna be right there! No way. Please, let me do it. Don't think that I like picking up people in the road. Did you have breakdown? No. We don't have a car. We're spending the weekend in the countryside. One must be careful. I check everyone who get into my car. But with you there's no doubt. Married? -Yes. Is your wife waiting there? No. Well... We're going to my friend's place. That's good. It has a great ambience. It's separated. In the middle of the field. I congratulate you. You're a lucky man. And why isn't your wife coming? Actually, we've been living separated for a long time. Now that's a coincidence. Give me five! I'm separated too. Watch out! Don't be afraid. I know these roads by heart. How long has it been from your separation? I'm free since 3 years ago. Excuse me for talking like this but to me it was like freedom. My wife thought I'd discuss who keeps the children. I told her she could keep them forever. I've never seen any of them since then. Good God! What an ease, what a beautiful life! There was a moment... in which I thought of killing her. Yes, you heard me. Of course you won't believe it as you're seeing me here talking nicely. I can assure you at that time I'd see those news in which.. A man kills his wife while she sleeps, you know... And I could understand them completely. I surely would've killed her. We got along pretty well... Well I congratulate you because for me it was real hell. Thank God! Thank God I divorced on time. If not, I don't know how could have ended. I'm telling you, I had these terrible thoughts... tremendous! Did you manage everything patiently? More or less. Believe me I'm jealous. She told me that if I was leaving she'd bring charges for abandonment of the home. Do what you want! That she'd get the children custody... It's alright keep them all! Look. In my wrist. Can you see a little sample of what happened the last day? She almost break my arm! She hit me with the iron machine and I thought she broke my arm. Actually, she tried to hit me in the head, so I took the iron machine from her and I hit her! I left her lying on the floor. It was all messed up. We fucked up everything. I remember wondering if she was dead... But not at all! She just got some stitches. Of course I didn't see her. I didn't come back to the house ever again. I haven't seen her or the kids since then. Thing is I don't exactly remember how that fight begun. But that's not important. You've been married and you'll underst... -Careful! Hey! I found a big fridge full of food! I told you! Ramón keeps the house ready for everything. It's downstairs. Do you want to see it? No. What are we eating? -Are you hungry? No. Do you like the house? -Yeah. Have you seen the soccer goal? What are we going to do? Nothing. Goal! It's your turn now. Now you. I did know that Clara would talk about us. About our relationship. About how was everything. But I didn't expect what she said. Did she talk about me? You weren't the point. -The point was you two. Yeah, us... It'd be better to say I was the subject. Clara wanted to talk about me... And boy she talked... Did she say you were selfish? That's what she always say. If you think she's right.. -She's right about that. I don't know exactly what selfish means. Someone who loves himself more than others. Yeah, but that happens to everyone. Some of them realizes and others don't. Did she just say that? No. She talked more about... I don't know! I remember it was getting dark.. And I started crying. I don't know if Clara noticed that. Did you cry? I've never seen you crying. Clara talked and talked... And she was making an image of me that I couldn't recognize. Has this happened to you before? Yes. No. That couldn't happen to you. Why do you ask me then? Clara said everything was over. That it'd be better if we don't try it again. That everything became an useless effort. And what did you say? I didn't speak much. I started imagining the future. I felt everything fell apart. As Clara was talking... I felt more afraid. Without noticing, I repeated several times: "I won't know how to live alone". One of them got Clara mad. And she said: "You've always lived alone!" That I should be used to it already. That even in those moments I was incapable of saying that I couldn't live without her. That I only thought of myself. You didn't think of me? We'll talk about you later. And what did you two say about me? I remember telling Clara that I wanted to see you more often. We discussed some issues concerning you. And why didn't you ask me? You were too little. How long ago? Two years? More. Three? Would had you preferred to live with me? No. Then we decided right. Yes. Not long ago, a girl wrote a letter to Max. But then she broke it. You tell me why. If you interrupt me I lose the inspiration. The letter said: Dear Max I'm thinking of you. And I'm writing you some things that I can't tell you. Can't you still? Did you realize that it's not the same now? We don't love each other anymore. That's what the letter said? Nothing else? Did it say something about me? Yes. Tell me. Tell me! Can't you say those things about me? You've never wanted to know them. Well now I do. What do they matter now? ! To me they do! Tell me! Stop it! You're hurting me! Then tell me! You're nuts! That's what you think about me? No. That would be so easy! Besides, you'd take that as a compliment! I don't want to say what I think of you because it doesn't matter anymore! Would you like to live in the countryside? Always. I'd stay here. I couldn't get used to it. I'd be afraid. What are you afraid of? I don't know. There's a lot of time to think. Strange ideas come to mind. For example? Some things. When you're alone? -No. Even though you're with me? Even more with you. Then you're afraid of me. You? Not a bit. Maybe indirectly. Those ideas may scare me, not you. I'm glad I don't scare you. What'ss the impression you get about me? -Fear is not one. Will you be upset if I tell you something? I hope not. Sometimes you make me laugh. I find you funny. Yikes. Yes. When you're worried about something. You're funny. You think too much. That's true. Of course it is. You're always analyzing everything. And saying what's good and bad. And why things happen this way and not the other. I think there's no much use in talking about what happened already. Probably... You're always trying to explain people what happens to them. Instead of looking to yourself. Once, I was thinking of you.. And then I got sad. Then I'm not funny always. You never put any effort in a better living. For example, you say you like living in the field. Then why don't you move here? Would you come with me? Why do you say that? I'm saying if you'd live here with me. I don't know. I told you I may not like the idea. What does that mean to what we were talking? Do you love me Sara? And what did that come from? I'm asking you. How I couldn't love you. You're my father! And if I weren't? Imagine for a moment that I weren't. What a nonsense! What do I know? Could you give me a cigarette? I'm going to bed. We had a long ride. Good night. Bye. Good night. 25.000 Log entry 143. Flight time 010, elapsed 90. We have reached course delta red 2. New heading locked in, all systems functioning. Log entry closes. [DOOR OPENING] Ah, come on in. I could do with some company. I feel sleepy all of a sudden. I'll just finish marking up this. There it is, look. Circling every two minutes. - When did you pick it up? - Just before I called you. It's circling all the time? Yes. Zen says it's a Mark Three Galaxy Class cruiser. Galaxy Class? That's outer planets manufacture, isn't it? Right, but Mark Three went out of production at least fifty years ago. Getting any signals from them? No, she's as quiet as a grave. Probably guidance control systems That ship's in trouble. It's the only thing that makes any sense. - You think so? - Mmm. All right, we'd better take a look at her. Zen, abort course programs. Take us in to 200 spacials and match vectors. Confirmed. I want everything in the data banks concerning Galaxy Class cruisers. Complete data is extensive. Good. How long before we're in teleport range? That will depend on speed as yet unspecified. - Standard By Four? - 16.140901 minutes. Approximately speaking, of course. It is estimated that you will require 128 hours to assimilate all available data on Galaxy Class cruisers. Mark Three? No sign of any external damage. According to the data banks, Galaxy Class cruisers are fitted with communicators. See if you can raise a voice contact will you Cally? - I don't like this. - That's unusual. Mock if you like, but I can always sense danger. Yes, even when there isn't any. Scan doesn't show any modifications. I think it's just what it seems to be. An obsolete civilian cruiser. Any luck Cally? No response on any channel. All right, I'm going across. Will you come with me, Avon? Cally? Vila? You don't need me to come over! Confirmed. There you are, deserted. If they did abandon, they certainly did it in a hurry. If the last of this mark is built half a century ago, this ship could have been here a very long time. No, these space condition reports are recent. There is an odd smell, sort of sickly sweet. Yes, there is something. Could be the change of atmosphere, a different recycle system to that of the Liberator. No, it's more than that I can't place it. All right, shall we get on with it? You go on down towards the stern, Cally and I'll work up towards the flight deck. Right, I'll just contact Vila. - Are you awake? - No. That's what I thought. It's very quiet here. If it should get noisy, I'll be in touch. It's that same smell again. - The girl's alive. - So's this one. The pulse is strong. No visible sign of injury. - D'you think they're drugged? - What? They could be drugged. Possibly I don't know possibly. They're certainly in a coma of some sort. No, it's no good. We'll we need the Cally, that's it. Cally, wake up! - Alone. - Yes, Cally! What? It's Sonovapour Tranquillising gas Gas? That's why we're so sleepy. Must be bypassing the filters. I must find the filter system. That'll cut off the flow, it was coming through the ventilators. Filters. See what you can do for those two. Avon. Have you found anything? Take a look. He's the fourth one I've found, all of them unconscious. It's Sonovapour. Yes. I know. We found a couple. It must be coming from the filters. Yes, well that should be this way. It's over here. Here it is. Not a very expert job. Just stuck the tubing into the primary feed. It's effective, though. Look at the gauge. The cylinder is almost empty. Once it was empty, the filter system would have cycled the gas out of the atmosphere. At which point everybody would just wake up. On the face of it a seemingly pointless exercise. So wake them up and ask them what it's all about. Increase the oxygen supply, it will speed recovery. He's dead. Very. Someone was very thorough. All this damage has jammed the main controls on a circular flight pattern. Can it be repaired? That would depend on what their replacement stores are like. Look at this it's blood. He tried to write something. 54124. Whatever that might mean. Could be anything. Call sign, transmission frequency, navigation index, anything. But it is important. He must have been dying when he wrote it. [SCREAMING] I'm sorry, I just don't know. I haven't any answers to your questions. All I remember was I went my quarters and fell asleep in a chair. At least that's where I was when I woke up a few minutes ago and found all this going on. Yes, I know exactly how you feel. Just relax and try to remember. Where were the rest of you when all this was going on? What gives you the right to ask? - You need our help. - Do we? We do. I was off duty. I share quarters with Pasco. We were both there. Routine rest period. And your name? Sonheim. We must have slept through it all, as Dr Kendall did. And you? I was in the communications centre trying to make repairs. I remember feeling very drowsy, that's about all. And my name's Grovane. That's all. Mandrian and I were together. The first thing I knew was when I came out into the corridor and saw Rafford. And you? I am called Levett. Did you see or hear anything? I was asleep in my quarters. Would anybody else have seen you there? - Why should anyone else bother? - All right, there's no need for that. There are worse things than being alone, Sonheim. Being with you is one of them We're getting away from the point a little, aren't we? You were all knocked out by Sonovapour. At some time in the last 12 hours, your pilot was murdered. And since you're the only people here on board, then I presume... No, we're not. Dortmunn isn't here. - Who is Dortmunn? - Flight engineer. Well, where is he? I want him found, Mandrian. Search the whole ship. He's got to be here somewhere. Sonheim, Levett. Whilst your people look for him I'll go and see how my people are getting on. They're on the flight deck assessing the damage. Will you come with me? Right. Well, there's nothing I can do with that, it'll have to be replaced. What's the situation? We can fit some of it back together, but there are a lot of components that will have to be replaced. Can it be made operational? The interesting thing is, as far as I can see, that all this damage was done but for one purpose: To prevent the orbiting flight pattern, which you are now in from being altered. I don't understand any of this. First the trouble with the communicators, and now sabotage. What happened to the communicators? Just after we started back on the return trip there was a burnout in the main circuits. Grovane, the communications officer, thought the damage couldn't be accidental. Apparently, all the safety circuits were still intact, they'd been bypassed somehow. It's still not working. This man Dortmunn they're looking for, could he have any reason to sabotage you? None that I can think of. He's a fine man and a first class engineer. [COMMUNICATOR CHIME] Kendall. Mandrian. We're in section 9, Doctor, you'd better come down. There's something you should see. Lead the way. - This is a pity. - What is it? The Ison crystal. Even if we get the ship operational, it'll be blind. With this fractured, there isn't a chance of outside vision. What have you found? Life Rocket Two has been launched. That explains where Dortmunn got to. He's taking a tremendous chance. Those life rockets have a limited range. It certainly couldn't carry him to the nearest habitable planet. But why? Why would he do that? If he killed Rafford, he's got nothing to lose. A ship this size, you can't hide forever. It still doesn't explain why. Not just the murder, the malicious damage, the... It's not possible! I'd better check just to be sure. For a moment, I thought Dortmunn might have taken this. If he had, everything that has happened would have made sense. But it's here. It had to be, of course. It's impossible to open the safe without a molecular key and combination, and I'm the only one on the ship who has those. Well, what is it? It's an energy refractor, a neutrotope. What does it do? I'll explain. I and my crew come from Destiny, way out here on the edge of the galaxy. Yes, I've heard of that It was colonised what, about a hundred years ago? That's right. But you're still not members of the Federation? They've approached us, threatened, but we've resisted so far. Ours is an agricultural economy. We've a small fleet of mercantile ships to trade with our nearest neighbours. Our people live well, but simply. At least they did. What happened? Towards the end of the last growing season, just as the main crop was coming into maturity, reports came in that the plants were dying, wilting and dying. It spread across both our continents with incredible speed. We estimated that in under a year there would be no living vegetation left on the planet. But did you isolate the cause? It was a fungal disease. Identifying it was one thing, but destroying it it was resistant to everything In under three months, half the planet was buried in a covering of slimy white fungus. The stench was vile and it was still spreading. You think this uhh, neutrotope will provide the answer? My experiments show that radiation from our sun was deficient in certain specific wavelengths. The neutrotope will provide the necessary frequencies to kill the fungus. And you'll mount this on a satellite to be activated by your sun? - That's right. - Hmm. We've calculated the orbital pattern required to maintain a balance and save our planet. Impressive. Yes, this has cost us. Well, let's say it's bankrupted our economy and mortgaged our future. Why so much? The yield from the ore containing the element is minute. This neutrotope and the few others that exist are the most valuable objects in our galaxy. I can see why you were concerned that Dortmunn might have taken it. Yes, it's enough to tempt anyone. There are men who would betray their companions for a lot less. What a very cynical thought, Doctor. But realistic, I'm afraid. Cally and I have finished checking the damage. I can give you a fairly accurate assessment of the situation now. We can fit things together and we can make repairs. And? There is, however, a problem. When we've finished, you should have a ship that will navigate and get you back to Destiny. The problem is that without this, you will have to travel at sub light speeds. I estimate that the journey will take you approximately five months to complete. - But that'll be too late! We'll miss the planting season! - Five months? It'll set us back a full year! When I heard the news I was as concerned as you. A delay that long would be disastrous, but there is an alternative. Liberator can make the journey in four days. What I've suggested is that Avon and Cally stay here and help you with your repairs. I take the neutrotope to Destiny, and then come back to collect them. No. We can't do that. We can't just hand over the neutrotope to some passing stranger. I agree. We've been trusted with this mission, we can't simply forget our responsibility. There are plenty of ready markets for the neutrotope. If it was stolen and sold, a man could be wealthy beyond imagining. That thing is a temptation even for those of us with our homes, families, and lives at stake. You have nothing at stake, nothing to lose. It is frequently easier to be honest when you have nothing to lose. The responsibility for the neutrotope belongs to all of you. There is a risk that if you entrust it to me, I may fly off never to be seen again. You have to weigh that chance against the effects a year's delay would have, on the possibility of your planet's recovery. We've made the offer, the choice is up to you. Remember that Avon and I will be staying. We will regard ourselves as hostages against Blake's return. Well thank you Cally, what a clever idea. Blake will return. You can bet your life on it. In fact, you've just bet both our lives on it. Personally, I have no hesitation about accepting the offer. Delivery of the neutrotope is vital. And anyway, after what's happened here, it may well be safer with Blake. However, we'll vote on it. Those in favour? That's about four to three, in favour. We accept gratefully. Right, I'd like to get started right away. Of course. Sara, would you get the neutrotope, please? Sorry. It's a natural reaction. Right, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. You're quite sure about volunteering to stay? We must help these people. Must we? Personally, I don't care if their whole planet turns into a mushroom. I shall stay because I don't like an unsolved mystery. You don't think Dortmunn and his life rocket are the answer? - No. - Why not? There is something else that has to happen before it all begins to come together. Thank you. You'd better give me your guns. - Don't fail us. - I won't. Vila, bring me up. My people have a saying, "A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken". Life expectancy must be fairly short among your people. - 3210? - Check. 32100? - Where are Cally and Avon? - It's a long story. - What's in the box? - It's an even longer story I like stories! Zen, get a locator fix on the other ship. I want to be able to pinpoint its position at all times. Confirmed. Set a course for Destiny, speed standard by six. - Where's that? - Confirmed. - What have you got there? - Why are we leaving them behind, what's going on? Where is Destiny? ! According to Avon, it's a story that doesn't have an end yet. All right then, we'll start with the beginning. Probe. Does this mean anything to you? 54124? - No, I don't think so. - Should it? Is it important? Yes, it is important. Monitor response? - The air is stale in here. - The ventilator's closed. - Well? - Zero response. There's nothing I can do. It will have to be replaced. I shall need laser transfer linkage. Have you got any? I think so, in the storage hold. I'll go and check. Stay here, I'll get it. You'll need a torch. [METALLIC CLICKING] [ELECTRONIC HUM] Fourteen? Right. Where is the storage hold? What do you want down there? We need some laser transfer linkage. I don't know that we have any. That is what I'm going to find out. Can you tell me, please? Don't mind him, he lacks affection. Blue corridor. Go down past the filtration plant and it's the next door on the left. Thank you. Be back in a moment. Muffled voices: "You are always snooping" "I am not snooping" "Yes you are" "I am not! Now I want to know what it is" It's Dortmunn. Someone among us is determined that this mission should fail, and frankly, I can't even guess at a motive. Try greed. It's usually reliable. When you set out on your return journey, you were carrying something extremely valuable. As he said earlier, if the neutrotope could be sold, it would make a man wealthy beyond imagining. Well, it obviously wasn't beyond the imagination of someone here. I just meant that we were taking an enormous risk by entrusting it to a stranger. - It never crossed my mind that any of us. - But it did cross your mind, didn't it? A temptation, you said, even for those of us with our lives at stake. The value of the neutrotope is all the motive you need to look for. Now I don't pretend to know the whole plan, but parts of it seem fairly clear. The damage to the communications centre, that isolated the ship. You couldn't receive any messages, nor could you put out a distress call. I'm not sure when Dortmunn was killed, but Cally thinks that the death of the pilot Rafford was an accident. What d'you mean? An accident? - A misfortune. - It certainly was for him. I think that it was not part of the plan. Whoever put the Sonovapour into the ventilation system intended to put the whole crew to sleep, while the controls were being sabotaged. Rafford was supposed to be sleeping, too. But the ventilator ducts on the flight deck were closed, consequently Rafford was unaffected by the gas. The murderer was using an oxygen mask to stay awake. Reaching the flight deck and finding Rafford conscious must have been a shock. And that shock killed Rafford. The ventilators shouldn't have been closed. It's against flight operating procedure. The next shock was when we arrived. Now that really was misfortune. Pure bad luck. - Rafford should have known better. - Shut up, Pasco! Go on. Even the most meticulous of plans could not have anticipated our arrival. Meticulous? The murderer had to cover up, and quickly. Dortmunn was killed. I think the plan was to put his body into the life rocket and launch it into space. That way, it would appear obvious that Dortmunn was guilty. So why didn't it happen? I think it was too difficult. Dragging the body across the spaceship to the launch area without being seen? That proved to be impossible, so the murderer settled for the next best thing. He launched an empty life rocket. And that worked. We all believed that Dortmunn had escaped. But whoever did it must have known the body would be discovered sooner or later. Of course. He was playing for time. The plan had gone to pieces. The best the killer could hope for was to delay a full inquiry for as long as possible. As a matter of fact, I think that was a waste of effort. I know, we all know, that one of you is the murderer. But proving which one. Unless, of course, as seems quite likely, someone other than the murderer already knows. Already knows. Naturally, the whole matter will be put into the hands of the authorities when we reach Destiny. Despite what you say Avon, the murderer will be found. In the meantime, you will all resume your normal duties, and anything that you see or hear that seems unusual, report to me at once. Thank you. We'll get back to the repairs now. A couple of hours, you should be able to set off for home. Something you wanted, Grovane? Yes. It just occurred to me. You said one of us was the murderer. That's right. - There is another possibility. - Yes? There could be somebody else on the ship, somebody we don't know about, a stowaway. Detectors indicate a meteorite storm directly in Liberator's flight path. Scale and intensity? Scale nine. Intensity twenty seven. Twenty seven? I think eight's about the strongest we've had so far. My teeth are still rattling from that. Twenty seven is a lot of very fast rocks. Scale nine puts the storm over a vast area too. How much would it add to our flight time if we went around it? Estimated flight time of 84 hours would increase to 336 hours. - Four times as long. - Confirmed. Would the force wall hold if we went straight through the storm? It is within the maximum design tolerance, however there would be no safety margin. Is there enough reserve power to maintain the wall? Insufficient data for accurate projection. - In other words, he doesn't know. - Confirmed. Let's go round. Are the others still searching? Yes, nothing so far. Do you want any help on the flight deck? No, we've almost finished. Sonheim, there was something I wanted to ask you. Go ahead, I'll catch you up. What is it? Finding Dortmunn's body put it out of my mind. Why did you follow me to the storage hold? Why do you think? You're an attractive girl. You asked where the hold was, I snapped at you. I came after you to apologise. To apologise? Of course. What other reason could I have? Perhaps you were afraid I would find Dortmunn. That's ridiculous! I didn't know his body was there! I told you. I followed you to apologise. - I believe you. - It's true! Of course. The transfer linkage you asked for. About time. Any news from the search parties? No. No, there won't be. It was an unlikely idea, keeping out of sight for the length of time this ship has been in flight. Not really possible. I agree. So who do you think it is? - Mandrian. - Why? Instinct. I discount Dr Kendall. I thought you mistrusted instinct? I do, so I am probably wrong. It could be him I told you I heard him quarrelling with Sara, didn't I? Sonheim makes me uneasy, too. He would be next on my list. The answer is here. If only we could see it. I knew you'd be here. [DISTANT METEOR IMPACTS] How far are we in now? Halfway I can't be sure. The detectors are swamped. The force wall's eating into our power reserves. There's a field drag effect too. We're having to use a lot of power to maintain our speed and heading. Avon, I saw Mandrian with this. Then he put it back in the bottom of Sara's flight bag. What is it? That's what I want you to tell me. [ALARM] Look! Filtration malfunction. We'd better get down there. - Dr Kendall wants you. - Filter plant? There's been another killing. [ELECTRICAL DISCHARGE] [ELECTRICAL DISCHARGE] Tell me what happened. I was coming past, and I heard a noise. So I looked inside. Mandrian was just as you see him. Sonheim was standing over him, with this dagger in his hand. I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him! Power reserves are almost gone In 103 minutes, it will no longer be possible to operate force wall and main drive simultaneously. Please decide which to close down. Without main drive we'll never get out of this. Without the force wall we'll be smashed to pieces! Have the locators detected the outer edge of the storm yet? No.Yes! No. Maybe. Which is it, Vila? It's "maybe". Directive is now required. Jenna, stand by to feed all power through to the main drive when the force wall is down. Ready. Gan, deactivate the force wall. Deactivating. Why? For what reason? Perhaps Sonheim was still trying to cover up. Mandrian knew about him and threatened to expose him. Or perhaps he went into the filter plant while Sonheim was sabotaging the equipment? But why damage the filter? What possible reason could he have for delaying the flight still further? How bad is it? The damage was minor. I've got Levett working on it. We've locked him in the storage hold. He seems quiet enough. Has he said anything more? Nothing new. He claims he went in and found Mandrian dead, picked up the knife, that's where I came in. He still says he didn't kill him. I believe him. But I saw him with a dagger in his hand! But you didn't see him use it. I didn't see Mandrian die either, but I know he's dead. I've just spent the last ten minutes in the filter plant looking for something that should be there but isn't. The cable that was damaged carries a high energy charge. In order to cut it, he would need a laser knife or an insulated saw. Neither of which were there. Then, somebody else was the saboteur? Yes. Mandrian came in, discovered whoever it was, and had to be silenced. The murderer then went out, taking the saw with him. Sonheim's story is true, he just happened to be the one to discover the body. Then who did kill Mandrian? The same person who killed Rafford and Dortmunn. And I know who that is now. You know? Yes. I should have seen it right from the start, but my mind had conditioned itself to see the wrong thing. As Cally has been saying all along. You found the meaning? Yes. Just before he died Rafford managed to scrawl this out. 54124? Precisely What's it mean? Absolutely nothing. As a number it has no significance at all, but in the filter plant just now, I noticed one of the instruments. Liquid crystals show a number, then the confirmation circuit translates those numbers into the written word. From the start, we thought that those were numbers. They are not, they are letters. Letters? Rafford was dying. It's difficult to be neat under those circumstances. Let's start with the one and the two. And the first letter. So now you know. It doesn't matter, you'd have known soon enough anyway. Sara, why? I wanted the neutrotope Or at least the money it would give me. It's that simple. Was Mandrian in it with you? No, but he found out. I asked him to share it with me, but he wouldn't. He wanted me to come to you and admit the whole thing. If I didn't, he was going to tell you himself. So but none of that's important now, I only need a little more time. You're not going anywhere, Sara. You just don't get off a spaceship and run. I'll kill the first one that puts his head outside this door. Well, she's one of your crew, you'd better get after her. Locked! It's clear enough why she acted as she did, but why go on with it? Once Blake left with the neutrotope, there was no need for more killing. I don't understand that myself. What worries me is that she's still so confident. She hasn't a hope of escaping yet she's still holding out. How did she hope to dispose of the neutrotope when we reached Destiny? She probably made contact with a prospective buyer when you were collecting it. It wouldn't be too difficult. What is it? I know what she's planning. Why she sabotaged the ship. Well, don't keep us in suspense. Ever since the controls were damaged we have been in the same space position. A homing beam transmitter and it's operating. Anyone tuned into its frequency can locate us exactly. That's why she's not worried. Another ship is coming to get her and it's on its way now. - Destroy it! - Too late. They will have had a fix on us for some time now. And when they get here and find the neutrotope not on board? It wouldn't matter if it was. They will have to destroy the evidence. And that, I'm afraid, includes us. I don't think I feel very well. I hope nothing's been broken. So do I. It's still on the Ortega. We've got to get back to them. Now I know I don't feel very well. If we could get back onto the flight deck, how long would it take to finish repairs? No time at all. It's virtually all done. In flight we'd stand some sort of chance, like this we're a sitting target. We would have to burn through the flight deck door. And if we did, she's armed, remember. She could still hold us off. Then we have to get her to come out. Well she's hardly likely to do that. Oh yes she is. - Visual. - Confirmed. There, there she is. How long before we're in teleport range? 23.16 minutes. We're getting another reading, look! Another ship. It must be coming to collect the neutrotope. Zen, can we get there first? Liberator will be in teleport range 3 minutes before the unidentified ship makes contact with the Ortega. [MUFFLED LASER BLASTS AND SCREAMING] You'd better get her out of here, I really rather enjoyed that. Teleport range will be achieved in one minute. Come on, Vila. They're getting very close. Blake! How did you get back so soon? Get ready to leave. There's a ship coming up on you fast. You've got about three minutes. We have the neutrotope now, nothing else matters. - I'll get the others. - I'll be back in a minute. He's cutting it too fine. Come on Blake, get out of there. No, no I won't! - She must be taken back for trial. - Agreed. I won't go! - Everything set? - Yes, ready. Bring us across Vila. They're locked on. [EXPLOSION] What was that? I rigged a charge on the entry hatch. Right, I think we can get you all home now. Zen, set a course for Destiny, speed standard by six. Confirmed. Take us round the easy way this time. Hello? You weren't at work today, were you, Elizabeth? Waiting for my call? Look, you've won I'm leaving Don't go Come to the window All those windows out there, I'm behind one of them What do you want? I've had it I'm getting out Don't leave me, Elizabeth Where are you going? Somewhere you'll never find me I'll find you I don't give up Sweet dreams, Elizabeth How many? Two thousand tenants. Fascinating. In addition, we can handle up to 5,000 visitors a day. That's a lot of people to have over for drinks. You have 80 miles of wiring, piping, cables... - In this apartment? - No, over the whole building. That's a relief. There's a restaurant in the foyer which serves what we consider the finest seafood. We also have a gift shop and a wedding chapel. - Mother will like that. - Oh, Mother wants you married, huh? Mother wants herself married. It's looking pretty good now that she's got this aluminum siding salesman from Toronto. I think they're going to move here. She wants to be close to me. Maybe we can show her one of our two-bedroom apartments. Well, I'm afraid not. I was lying. No aluminum siding salesman. No mother. I've developed this strange sense of humor and it sometimes gets me into trouble. - Trouble? - You don't have to worry. I'm actually just a normal person. I work hard, I take showers, I turn the radio down after 10:00. I won't tell jokes to the neighbors. The building is equipped for change. For instance, if you're in a westerly room and you're exposed to the setting sun, our computers increase the flow of air-conditioned air. So your temperature is always perfect. There's no comparable building anywhere. How about that one? Oh, you know, that building doesn't look as tall. Probably doesn't even have one computer. Honestly, I love it. It'll be like living in the top drawer of a glass box. I'll take it. Hello, little Cyclops. Welcome to your new home. Don't forget, you're supposed to take the curse off the lonely nights. Lonely nights and lonely days coming your way. Cut it out, Michaels. Hello, L.A. This could be the start of a meaningful relationship. Mr. Frimkin? Hello, I'm Leigh Michaels. Fine, thank you. And you? Yes. I worked at WXN, New York, for five years. Uh-huh. I was born in Carthage, New York. I'm 29 and I'm single. I hope that's not going to be a problem, Mr. Frimkin. I swear. - They won't get over it. - Who? The others down there. Father Catolle, Mr Mayor. Most of all, those wives of theirs. It'll kill them! - And then there's Bertha - Who's she? Someone I thought of as queen of the village. But now, comparing her to you she's a cow. I like you a lot, Goubi. Do you... Do you think the schoolkids will call me "Mr Goubi"? They'd better, or they'll cop it! But then there's the others. The grown-ups. They all know I'm an imbecile. Even if I have a wife and a car I'll always be one. It's true... Once the die is cast, that's it. And then there's something else. You're all that I think about. I can't help it. One day, thinking about you too much... is going to make my head explode. Because of you. I'm used to people making fun of me. But they'll talk about YOU, because of ME and I'd hate that. You'll have your own land and money in the bank... So you'll never stop people talking behind your back. The main thing is that they're silent when you turn around! So you came to ask me permission to marry La Fleur. - Not "La Fleur" anymore. Juliette. - Excuse me. if you'd told me this was a certified virgin, chaste and pure I would've said... "Goubi, watch out!" But in this case, knowing her as I do, I can happily say... "Marry her, my boy! Discouraged by their expensive life... their work devalued by The Pill... defecting streetwalkers... are the last refuge of virtue and fidelity. These women aspire only to a single social position... having exhausted all the others. You'll never be a deceived husband. I'm liking being married already. I've no illusions about myself. How many children do you want? I'll have to ask Juliette... if she has something planned, but I don't think so. If our girl takes after mummy... and our boy after daddy... we'll have a steel-drum parade... and the house will be too small. There is only one true house, Goubi... Welfare! I have 2 boys. When they were babies I put them on welfare. The best college in France. Our Oxford, our Harvard. After 18 years on welfare, they're ready for life's challenges. Now they're total welfare-abusers, like their father! What a shame your bride-to-be had not been raised by me! She'd regret it. But think about it... It's not only her... The world's full of people coming from who knows where. Don't worry... They'll be paying for us. - What are you doing? - Take the wheel. You really are afraid of nothing. You've got to show them... You have to stick it right up them... you have to flabbergast them. - What do I do? - Put in first gear. - Where's the handle? - There. Put it into second. On the left, by your leg. Press the clutch at the same time. Your left leg! - Your left leg! - Which is that? The clutch! - Which? - Your left leg! The left pedal! - Fucking pedal! Oh, I'm sorry! Hit me, to check I'm not dreaming! Must be that southern wine! I'd better give it up. - I can't believe it! - Good God! It can't be possible! - Who's the crazy guy? - The steel-drum champion! Go to it, Jean-Marie! Super-dooper! He plays on Radio Luxembourg. - Put it into third, Goubi. - If I can. Put it into third! Watch what you're doing! Brake, brake! The middle pedal! Goubi's piece of soil. Over there, I see a large room with tiled floors. The kitchen here. There, the laundry. And our bedroom up there. Then there's... There's something else. What's that? Well now... As far as looking after the animals ...bringing in fodder, cutting timber is concerned I think that because you'd have ME, you're doing the right thing. But as for the other things... For the other things... You can leave it to me. Subtitles by FatPlank for KG What are these, bitch cuffs? - Hold still. - My hand, man! I said hold still! Cadillac Kligman. Six Million Dollar Man. Six pins in his leg and a bunch of screws loosing his head. And I was hoping for a slow day. I'll get started on the paperwork. Better get him out of here. Have fun. What the hell are you doing? That's my desk! Get down now! - Get on the floor now! - Get in there! Get him down! I need an ambulance in here! Get me an ambulance! - Come on, Todd, come on! - What happened? I don't know, one minute he was fine, then he started convulsing and he fell over. Come on, kid. Come on! He's dead. Don, he's dead. CSI: NY Season05 Episode13 Rush to Judgment I was questioning him. He was getting agitated, then he started talking azy. Then he started shaking. Foam was coming out of his mouth and he hit the ground. Don't worry. Sid will get to the bottom of it. Detective Flack. - You mind answering a few questions? - No problem. Don, don't you want to wait for a union rep? No, no, no, no. I'd rather take care of this now. Okay, you can start by filling out this incident report. When did you first encounter Mr. Fleming? Earlier today. He was at wrestling practice over at Hillridge High School. Detective Angell and I went by and asked him to come downtown with us. What'd you pick him up for? Because he was a potential suspect the Vincent Nelson homicide and we wanted to ask him questions about his relationship with Mr. Nelson. And what was the subject's physical condition when you first saw him? Nothing unusual. Maybe he was a little nervous. Cops make some people nervous. - But basically he was fine? - Yes. - No cuts, no bruises,o scrapes? - No. What about the abrasion on the side of his head? He walk in with that? During the interview, he grew agitated. Started flailing around. I had to restrain him. When I let go, he slipped and fell off the chair. 17-year-old boys don't just slip and fall and then drop dead. And they also don't require a guardian to be present during questioning. So maybe you gave him a little push. You know what? I changed my mind. If you want my statement, G.O.15 me. I want my union attorney. 2 days ago Flying tomato over here took a dip in the garbage while he was snowboarding. Landed right next to the foot. The rest of the body? We're canvassg garbage receptacles in the area. The city only picks up trash once a week on account of the budget cuts. This place is turning into a cesspool. Look what I found. It's got dried blood all over it. Looks like the foot was wrapped in it. Now I've heard of re-gifting, but this is pushing it. Danny and Hawkes just found an arm in a trash bin a couple blocks away. That looks to be male Caucasian. Same as the foot that Mac found. Wrapping paper's a match, too. I'm thinking Christmas with the in-laws. Degree of decomp puts the time of death between 6:00 and 9:00 last night. Mercifully, the dismemberment came later. Kill a man and then chop him up into pieces. Maybe the killer thought little pieces would be easier to dispose of. There is a certain logic. Any idea what he used to cut him up? Haven't seen this particular wound pattern before. There's lateral movement at the incision, bordered by these jagged punctures. Maybe I can give you a hand. Okay. Department of Sanitation found it in a storm drain five blocks from the foot. The top layer of skin is separating from the underlying tissue. Yeah, it looks like it was submerged in water for a while. If the glove fits... ÇúÃû: Oceans And Streams ¸èÊÖ: The Black Keys Vince was the head wrestling coach at Hillridge High for eight years. Five championships. Are you positive it's really him? I mean... I mean, how can you be sure? Maybe there's been some kind of mix-up. We've identified him by his fingerprints. Every employee in the school system has them on file. Mrs. Nelson, when was the last time you saw your husband? Yesterday at breakfast. He was taking a business class at NYU on Thursday nights. He wanted to open his own wrestling school. So he never came home last night after class? I fell asleep. I called the police in the morning when he wasn't home. But they said I had to wait 48 hours before he'd be officially missing. Looks like yr husband was quite a successful coach. Mrs. Nelson, can you think of anyone who might have wanted to hurt your husband? No. Vince was a great guy. Everyone admired him. Did he owe anybody money? Or have a drug problem or a gambling habit? I'm sorry... but if you knew him, you'd know how ridiculous your questions are. Okay. Thank you so much. Please, give us a call us if you remember anything else. There was one thing. I don't see how it could be related, but yesterday when I came home from work, someone was lurking on our roof. I saw their shadows through the skylights there. Looked like two people. I heard them talking. Creeping around. It was kind of scary. What time was this? Around 4:00. I knocked ony neighbor's door. He said he would go up and check. And? He said he saw something that looked like blood, but no people. She said she saw them from the skylight. Yeah, this would be the Nelsons' apartment right here. Yup, here we go. This is the blood the neighbor was talking about. Boom. So get this, there's no Thursday night business classes at NYU or any of its extension schools. And there's no Vince Nelson registered with them period. Nelson was lying to his wife. He also withdrew 200 bucks from an ATM on the Upper West Side the night he was killed. Maybe he had something going on the side? Confiscate his computer, bank records, credit card statements-- - I want to know what else he was hiding. - Done. What are you working on? The blood we found on Nelson's roof. I thought whoever was up there could've been connected to the case, but it isn't human. Take a look. Cells have nuclei, it looks like some kind of animal. It's a very large animal with claws and scales. The blood comes from an alligator, Mac. Mr. Potato Head. The live versision. More like the bloody dead version. I used to play Mr. Potato head as a boy. I would time myself. See how long it took to assemble him. Some would say I was obsessed. You, obsessed? No. I found this stuck in a patch of dried blood on Nelson's torso. Looks like some ki of jewelry. It's an acupressure magnet. You put it on a meridian of the ear to quit smoking. My mom tried everything. Then I'm almost certain it didn't belong to the vic. His lungs were pink as a baby's. Alas, his spine was not in such pristine condition. Same marks as on the flesh, but it looks like some sort of thermal burn on the bone. Kinetic energy. Whatever the killer used to dismember the body was starting to heat up. So he must have dismembered the too last. That explains why we only found burns there. I also discovered trace in the victim's chest hair. Looks like sawdust. Sawdust.Between that and the thermal burning on the bone, I'm thinking some kind of chainsaw. But what type of chainsaw leaves jagged wounds like this? ÇúÃû: I Need To Know ¸èÊÖ: Marc Anthony Mind if I cut in? Prostitution? Come on, Ms.Love, I got a rap sheet here says you've been arrested four times for solicitation. I'll see you next week, George. Mm-hmm, okay. This isn't what you think, Detective. This isn't what you think either, Ms. Love. I'm not Vice. I'm with Homicide. And we have your fingerprint on this acupressure disc. I bought one of those to quit smoking. I lost it. Well, we found it near this guy. You know him? That's Vince. Vince Nelson. Why are you looking for him? Becaushe was killed. When was the last time you saw him? Last night. He comes here every Thursday night for a lesson. Exactly what do you teach? Private salsa lessons? Is that what they call it these days? No, these were legit. Nelson wanted to surprise his wife for their fifth anniversary. Take her out dancing. And our Salsa instructor had a client right after Nelson who corroborated her alibi. Mac, I found something on Coach Nelson's computer you should see. This kid can't be more than ten years old. It gets worse. All right. These photos were attached to an e-mail that Nelson sent out to seven of his wrestling students. ****** This e-mail went out at 4:00 P.M.Three hours later, Vince Nelson was dea You think we just found our motive? Someone may've gotten this e-mail and snapped. But if the Coach Nelson was a pedophile, why would he incriminate himself by sending it outo members of his own team? Maybe he molested some of these boys before and knew they wouldn't tell. The whole thing makes me sick. No. Pedophiles usually download photos and trade with other short eyes. If that's the case, I'm betting there's more where these came from. Find them. We had one victim, but now we have two. This boy is too young to be a student at Hillridge High. We need to know who he is and how Vince Nelson knew him. I'll reach out to the Bureau of Missing and Exploited Children, see if we can come up with any leads. Pedophile coach. Maybe he got what was coming to him. The day he died, Nelson e-mailed the photos to seven kids on his wrestling team. One of them could've been embarrassed, humiliated... Or just flat-out enraged. I'll track them down, see what they got to say. Found the kind of chainsaw we're looking for. It's new on the market. Serrated shears on the bottom, chainsaw on the top. Tool-mark pattern's a match to the body parts we found. Call the manufacturer. Get a list of credit card purchasers, cross reference them against... the last names on the e-mails. Did it, done. Nothing. Okay. What about the sawdust? The sawdust. Still working on it. The problem is the DNA from the tree contains endogenous chemicals which inhibit analysis. That means it's gonna be really difficult to narrow it down to a specific species. Well, that tree could point us in the direction of our killer. Go with conventional methods instead. - Extract organic compounds, run 'em through the GCMS. - All right. Hey, I think I just connected the alligator blood that we found on Nelson's roof. According to the principal at Hillridge High, they had a science fair three days ago. And the winning project was about the immunological properties of alligator blood. The creator of this project, Todd Fleming, is also on the wrestling team. I worked with Coach Nelson every day for three years. We went to meets together, had a few beers after work, then I find out he's into something like this. Any of the guys on the team talked about the e-mail or the murder? No, not in front of me, anyway. We got state championship coming up tomorrow. That what they're focusing on. Life goes on, right? Not for everybody. Is Todd Fleming around? We want to ask him a few questions. Fleming! Front and center. Come on! Keep it going! Look, I don't know anything about what happened, okay? None of us do. If that's why you guys came down here... We found alligator blood on Coach Nelson's roof. We think it was a part of your science project. What were you doing up there, Todd? I wasn't up there. I... Look, even if I was, up there, what does it matter? 'Cause it's a murder investigation, smart guy. Everything matters. I didn't kill him. We'll talk about this downtown. - I'm in the middle of practice. - Practice can wait. Am I under arrest or something? Look, Todd, do you have any street clothes you can change into? We just want to talk to you. - Yeah, in, in the locker room. - Let's go. What are these, bitch cuffs? My hand, man! No! - Better get him out of here. - Have fun. What the hell are you doing? I want to talk to you about the e-mail Coach Nelson sent you. What? The day he was murdered. Hey, Todd, wake up. I know you got Nelson's e-mail and I know you were on his roof. It's crazy. This is our fault. Was there someone else involved? It wasn't supposed... You talking about Vince Nelson's murder? - Can I go or what? - Todd! Your coach was murdered! Now tell me what do I gotta do to get your attention here! Get down on the floor now! I need an ambulance in here! Get me an ambulance! Preliminary cause of death is hypoxia which presented in cardiac arrest. Did he have a history of brain seizures? Medical records are on the way. He was a wrestler. He might've had a previous head injury. There were also several bruises on his arm, fractured ribs. Well, that could've happened while Flack was performing CPR. What about this abrasion? Based on the lack of subdermal bruising, it occurred moments before death. You saying Flack hit him? Mac, I'll know more when I open him up, complete my examination. I did a preliminary tox screen for heroin, cocaine, PCP, methamphetamine, marijuana and alcohol. All were negative. Don Flack did not kill this boy. Find out what did. Now when you and Detective Flack first approached Todd Fleming, he was at wrestling practice, correct? That's correct. And what was his demeanor? He was fine. So the kid's calm, perfectly healthy. He agrees to take a ride with you down to the station house. He's calm when you walk him through the precinct, he's calm when you bring him in the interrogation room. And then in less than five minutes, he suddenly becomes agitated, has to be subdued, and now he's dead. That's exactly whatappened. And if I knew why, I wouldn't be sitting here with you. Did you notice any injuries when you picked Fleming up? - Bruises? - No. Was Detective Flack ever alone with him? In the car, maybe? I drove. Detective Flack sat in the back with Mr. Fleming. We were together the entire time. What about at the school? Fleming was in his street clothes at the time of his death. I'm assuming he changed somewhere? In the locker room. Who accompanied him there? Detective Flack. Detective Flack. Doesn't look good. Until you hear different, I'm placing you, on Modified Assignment. As soon as we're done here, you can surrender your gun and your shield to the Lieutenant downstairs. What ever happened to giving a guy the benefit of the doubt? Take a look in my personnel folder. Not one civilian complaint. Not one allegation of excessive force. Nothing. Now come on. That's gotta account for something! The only thing that counts for something is what happened inside this room. Look, Detective Flack did everything by the book. The guy's a total professional. Unlike your relationship with him, which I understand is less than professional? Not only is that none of your business, but it has nothing to do with Todd Fleming's death. Say hello to the newest member of the rubber gun squad. I've been officially removed from active duty. How do they know we're seeing each other, Don? - Who? - Internal Affairs. But I thought we were trying to keep this thing quiet? I didn't say anything to anyone. That only leaves you. People talk. They make assumptions. Because of those assumptions now, my word doesn't mean squat with IA. - I mean, who could've told them? - Look, Jess, I'm sorry. But I got bigger things to worry about right now than squad room gossip. Right. Detective Angell's working this case until IA's finished with their inquiry. Inquiry? Is that what they're calling it? They can't possibly think that Flack's responsible for Todd Fleming's death. I mean, he is so by the book. He doesn't even swear. None of us are happy about this. In the meantime, IA's got a job to do and so do we. All right, well, Fleming's been ruled out as a suspect in Coach Nelson's death. According to his mother, he was taking an SAT prep class at the time of Vince Nelson's murder. The police confirmed that. Still working on the sawdust, but based on extracted hydrocarbons, I've narrowed it down to three families. Good. Stay with it. Yeah, well, I wasn't so lucky with the Christmas wrapping paper. It's manufactured in China and mass-marketed to department stores all over the U.S. Taylor. I'll be right there. They just found a head. He's coming together. COD was hypoxia due to crushed cricoid cartilage which obstructed airflow to the lungs. Lateral bruising on his throat. He was hit with something hard, a club or a pipe. Look at this. Cauliflower ear. From his wrestling days. Same chainsaw tool marks as the other body parts. I also found this fleck of blood adhering to the skin at the contusion site on the vic's throat. And unlike the blood around the wound, this particle was deposited when it was already dry. Which means it could've come from our killer. Stell, results on the blood fleck that Sid collected from the vic's neck. Not a match to our vic. Johnny Holt. Ex-con. He was in for sex crimes. Just got released two weeks ago. Thanks. Hello. How are you holding up? Fantastic. What's a five-letter word for a cooking utensil? A whisk? That would be it. We're all rooting for you. I want you to know that. Thank you. I appreciate that. You here to see Johnny Holt? Yes, I am. We found his blood on Vince Nelson's throat. Holt's a bad dude. If he gives you any problems, let me know. I'll get in there and beat him up for you. Whisk. I knew that. Never seen him before. There's traces of your blood on him. My blood's all over this city. Been shot nine times, knifed five. We believe the victim was involved in child pornography. Do you recognize this boy? You implying I'm into kids? Because I sure as hell don't fly that way. Right. Right, you prefer to rape grown women. forgot. They said it was rape. Not me. Where were you on Thursday? - On a date. - With who? I didn't catch her name. But she wasn't as hot as you. Holt's blood is on the victim, he's got priors and his alibi is just as worthless as he is. In other words, Mr. Holt just became our prime suspect. Now all we have to do is shore up motive. I've been working on that. So far, I haven't been able to find a single connection between him and Nelson. And I doubt u will. Ribosomal analysis shows that the sample of Johnny Holt's blood that we found on our vic is at least three months old. While he was still in Sing Sing. Sid found the dried blood on Nelson's throat. Said he must've been hit there with a pipe or club. The blood must've been on the murder weapon. Transferred onto Nelson when he was killed. I think we just found our connection. No. I've never seen him. Are you sure? He might've been an acquaintance of your husband's? Absolutely not. What about this boy? I don't recognize this child at all. And to save you a question, I have no idea what these pictures are doing on Vince's computer. Ever since this e-mail thing came out the phone's been ringing nonstop. Someone put a pile of dog feces on my doormat this morning. Mrs. Nelson, did your husband teach anywhe else where he might've been in contact with younger boys? After school program? The local Y? Look, I'm just going to say this once. Vince was a normal guy. Okay? A normal, boring, regular guy. He watched football in his underwear. He never took out the garbage unless I told him to. He forgot our anniversary year after year and tried to make up for it two days later with a, with a bouquet of white roses. But I didn't care, because he loved me. Mrs. Nelson, was there anybody on the wrestling team that your husband seemed especially close to? Anyone he saw outside of practice or talked about more than any of the others? No. Did he seem to have a problem with any of the boys on the team? Look, just because he worked with boys doesn't mean that... I don't know why I don't just unplug it. I guess I keep hoping one of these times it'll be someone with something comforting to say! I-I'm so sorry. We're almost done here. I know what you're thinking. "Oh, poor woman. How could she possibly deny the fact" "that her husband was a pedophile? We have these pictures." This e-mail." Well, Vince wasn't a pedophile. He was a loving, innocent man who was murdered. Why don't you put your energy into finding his killer? The photos of the boy were downloaded from an international child porn site. Which makes it unlikely that Nelson actually molested him. I checked the browser and search histories on his computer, there were no additional pornography downloads or searches, not one. Maybe he covered his tracks? Surfed anonymously? No. The hard drive's clean. The strange thing is when I checked the firewall log, I did find a breach on the same day the photos were downloaded. I'm thinking someone could've pirated his signal. Todd Fleming. The alligator blood Stella found puts him on Nelson's roof. Maybe that's what he was doing up there. Okay, so Fleming downloads the photos of the boy, and makes it looks like Coach Nelson sent them. I mean, it's possible, but why? Clearly, Fleming wanted to discredit Nelson. Making a coach look like a pedophile, that'll do it. Nothing. Nothing. Nelson's apartment. Stell and Lindsay found the alligator blood over here. Okay, maybe something. I'm getting a list of networks, but nothing strong enough to connect to. It means we're in the vicinity. Okay, I've got several network choices now. Signal looks like it's strongest in this direction. Got one Wi-Fi network that's fully unprotected, no password, nothing-- genius. Look what it's called. Vince N. Wireless Network. So all Fleming had to do from here was to release a prewritten script to Nelson's computer, turning it into a zombie. Giving him complete control. The e-mail connects to the murder, I just can't figure out how. Yeah, well, we know Fleming didn't kill Nelson. He had an alibi. Right, but Coach Nelson's wife said she saw two people up here. He might've had some help. There's sawdust over here. Sid found sawdust on the victim. But Stella and Lindsay would've found the sawdust when they were here. Not necessarily. I got good news and I got good news. Which one you want first? Whatever's faster. All right, the sample of sawdust from the roof is identical to the sample we found in Coach Nelson's chest hairs. And I finally determined the species it came from. Fagus Sylvatica. Beech Willow Tree. Which is indigenous to Flushing, Queens. Could be where our killer lives. Or just where he set up his chop shop. See if anyone who got that e-mail hails from Flushing. Got ya. Kyle Sheridan? Three count, buddy. You lose. High school wrestling team? Four oer brothers. Come on. Whoa, Coach Nelson. What happened to his neck? It was separated from his body. And the rest of him was stuffed in garbage cans all over the city. Whoa, wait, you think I had something to do with this? We found sawdust on his torso. Sawdust from a tree indigenous to Flushing, Queens. So? You're the only kid on the wrtling team who is from Flushing, Queens. We found that same sawdust on Coach Nelson's roof. You were up there, weren't you with Todd Fleming? No. You leeched off his Wi-Fi signal, sent out the incriminating photos of the young boy. Right, when the coach found out about it, he came to you, and what'd you do? I-I didn't kill Coach Nelson. Todd Fleming had an alibi for the night Nelson was killed, which leaves you. Okay! Okay... Yes, we sent the e-mail, okay? I'll admit that. Yeah. Nice. See, my-my dad, he doesn't make a lot of money. So the only way I'm going to college is if I get a wrestling scholarship. Coach Nelson, he moved me up a weight class. That totally wrecked my chance at State Championship. So we thought if we sent these pictures around, maybe it'll get him fired. So you e-mailed them to yourselves to throw off suspicion? Yeah, but that's all we did, okay? We had nothing to do the murder. Ah, you know what, actually, you kind of did. 'Cause we're thinking it's those pictures that got your coach killed. Where were you Thursday night? I was at, uh, school. I was at a basketball game. Got somebody who can vouch for that? yeah, yeah. My, my-my, my Dad. He picked me up around 10:00. What's his name? Alex Sheridan. He works at the Manhattan Superior Court. He's a court officer. He was struck by something hard, a club or a pipe. It wasn't the son, it was the father. Court officers have metal batons. I'm thinking that's what made the bruise on Vince Nelson's throat. So the father was snooping on the son's computer, saw an e-mail from Coach Nelson... - Assumed Nelson sent it. - And confronted him. The problem is, in order for Johnny Holt's blood to get on Sheridan' baton, they would have to have contact at some point. Right, and that blood is more than three months old, and Holt was still in prison. Let's check it. Prison transfer log from Sing Sing. Here we go, three months ago Holt was taken from Sing Sing to Manhattan Superior Court. For one day to testify as a witness in a trial. There must've been some sort of altercation in that courthouse. That would explain how Holt's blood got on Sheridan's baton. All right, let's go. Move it, scumbag. Time to get a warrant to search Alex Sheridan's house. Kyle's whole life was wrestling. He was 14 when he made the team. That was the happiest day of his life. Gave him confidence, discipline, a sense of belonging... I wanted to pin a medal on Coach Nelson. But when I saw that e-mail, those disgusting photos... That knocked the breath right out of me. I picked up the phone and told him I was going to notify the school the very next morning. So Nelson came to your house to try to settle things in person. Yeah, except all he did was deny it; said he'd never seen the photos, had no idea where they came from. See, no one is guilty these days. Everyone's an innocent victim. I was not about to let my son become a victim. I fought back. So what was I going to do? Get 25 to life for killing that son of a bitch? I see these perverts every day. They waltz into my court. They get a slap on the wrist, and then they go off and re-offend. The only treatment for them is death. You dismembered him to make it easier to dispose of the body. I've worked in a courtroom for 16 years. Tough to get a conviction without a body. There's only one problem. Vince Nelson didn't send those photos. I don't understand. I saw them. They were there with his name on my son's computer. Your son, Kyle sent them. To himself and six other boys on the wrestling team. He blamed the coach for ruining his chances at the state championship. Sending the photos from Nelson's e-mail address was his way of getting revenge. He wanted to get the coach fired. This whole thing was just a tragic misunderstanding. Wrestle! You got him! ÇúÃû: The Sound Of White ¸èÊÖ: Missy Higgins You going somewhere, Don? Yep, there is no point in me hanging around pushing papers. It's not my style, Mac. You've been cleared. I just heard. - I want you to know, I never doubted you. - Thanks. You know, for a long minute there, it felt like everybody else did. Todd Fleming's medical records show that he was prescribed an anti-depressant eight months ago. When Sid did a screen for that particular drug, he found more than ten times the recommended dosage in his system. Enough to cause the seizure? Found an empty prescription bottle in his locker at school. I stood by the door while he got changed. That's the only time he was alone. God, what a waste. Seems to be a lot of that in this case. Don. You know, the Rangers are playing tonight. We could catch thehird period at that new sports bar on Lafayette. I didn't know you liked hockey. I don't. April of 1954 Whoever may have seen it, looking towards the bay, would think that it was just a simple fisherman. No one could have imagined, that the binoculars contained a camera, with which he recorded all that was happening in the bay. The message from this simple fisherman, was sent by letter to an agency in Paris. The letter contained a coded message, which was sent to the Central Intelligence Agency, headquartered in the city of lights. It was a microfilm, which had been attached to the letter in the form of a dot. This is how a message was discovered, which could be read easily, with the aid of an amplification camera. David: My God, why have you forsaken me? The coded message was sent to the director of the Central Intelligence Agency, Counter-espionage service. The message was decoded and it revealed the routes of arms shipments being sent to Latin America. The counter-espionage service took the necessary measures, and thanks to a seemingly humble and simple fisherman, They destroyed the plans of greatest terrorist plot in Latin America. but, the agitators would not stand still. They would attempt to fullfill their plans, but, where, when, and why? The Intelligence department had no clue. "we would like to show our gratitude to the civilian and military authorities," "as well as all institutions and person that rendered their valuable assistance," "as to be able to make this production possible, in the natural scenery of the Republic of Ecuador" Julio Aleman as Alex Dinamo in: S.O.S. The Bikini Conspiracy Written and Adapted by Rene Cardona Jr. Swimwear by Peter Pan/ Designed by Oleg Cassini Directed by Rene Cardona Jr. Once again, you got carried away, Alex, there was no need to risk yourself like that, we had them trapped. I tought they would flee, and wanted to catch them red handed. Well, and did you find out how they smuggled the drugs? Yes, Inspector. Look Inspector, inside the banana, and there is a good amount of it, don't you think? Quite ingenious. Now we have all the suspects. They will spend a good amount of time in prison. Alex, for your own good, don't get involved in my affairs. They almost got away because you where too reckless. Very well, Inspector. I will heed your advice, for now. But, you know, I have a date in Quito, and don't want to dissapoint. Just one moment, Alex be careful with the skirts, they only bring more complications. you think? We shall meet again soon, Inspector. Ladies and gentlemen, we are now flying over the city of Guayaquil. In a few minutes, we will land at Simon Bolivar Airport. Peruvian Airlines thanks you for granting us the opportunity to serve you. Please attach your seatbelts, and be attentive of the no smoking sign, thank you. Is everything ready? My dear Diana,we cannot afford the luxury of failure. "Humboldt Hotel International" "Peruvian Airlines" Excuse me, madame, have you lost a key? Yes, Quezal, I did not need your password to know who you are. I have studied the files of all our members to perfection. Is the plane ready? Yes, Miss Bristol. Let's go. Where will the conference take place? At the Quito Hotel. Is that so? Yes, all has been arranged, as instructed. Have the models reported in? Yes, they are traveling by commercial flight, accompanied by Maddame Rapiee All is well, Lucrecia? The operation will take place in Quito. Will our other agents have any problems? No, all has been arranged, the only one that cannot pass trough customs is you, you are too well known by the intelligence agency. Very well, Lucrecia, I am now in your hands. We wil go to Quito in one of the emergency planes. And where shall we find it? the secret landing strip is not far away. What would you like? Do you have loose American cigarretes? Lights? Twentieth century brand? only Fiteenth century. Here, this is for you. "In case of extreme circumstances, look for contact in Quito, code 00100" When will we go into action? It will be soon, the members will arrive today. Agent one, S.O.S. Got a light? My matches are wet. I do. I am Charlie, he is Sibor. I know, I was expecting you. How are you? All has been arranged? All, the meeting will be in Quito. Shall we? lets. Your attention please, Equatorian Aviation announces the arrival of flight 422 from Guayaquil. Something for the press? Please, tell us something about the convention. Well,we have selected the best models. and we will present the most exclusive of swimsuits. I am certain it will be a big success. As we all are. A photo please, thanks. "The Beach Club" No, wait, Adriana! Hold it, Adriana, its me! I can see you! My goodness, I know you have improved, but, you almost broke my neck. Then why do you startle me? I'll buy you a drink When did you return? I just came in. This is my first night off. is it? First night? Do you accept that drink? Then we shall meet tonight! Say, Adriana, come here, wait! Oh, excuse me. Alex! Inspector, what are you up to? Same as you, admiring the bikinis. Well, I doubt you would have come to Quito just for that. I also doubt you came for the same. You know that wherever there are beautiful women, I shall be there. I'll buy you a drink. Lets. And, tell me, Inspector, how did your .... You where saying? No, I have a prior engagement, I will see you later. Did you have any problems? No, everything is rolling along, Ms. Bristol. Except for one thing, that girl, I have seen her somewhere else. Which one? The red head. A member of the International Service? I do not know, but it is something we must find out. There is no time for that, there is but one solution. There is, we must not take any risks. Truly, I am having the best of luck. This is my first night off. What did you say your name was? I didn't say. Well, it does not matter, a name is not that important. It seems you do not like to waste any time. Of course not. Then what are you doing here? you will accompish nothing here. Well, It will have to be enough to just admire the view. I tought you would have been more daring. You are right, I am actually quite shy. Tell me, are you still free tonight? Of course! Adriana! No, wait! Yes, he is quite free for the night! Lucrecia, Lucrecia! Yes, Luigi? Come immediatedly, I must speak with you. I am coming, just a moment. Luigi? What is wrong, why so nervous? Its one of the models, I remember her from somewhere, but don't know where! Which one? The red headed one. You are imagining things, Luigi, she is one of our must trusted models. Do you think that all the precautions our organisation has taken, are useless? Its that we must not take any risks. Has it dawned on you that it is insane for all of us to remain here, together? Any slight error, can finish our organisation, with one blow. You know it is necessary. I have been working here for the last two months, and nothing abnormal has happened. All is rolling along, please Luigi, do not worry. Say, Lucrecia, when do you go on stage? In just a moment, Don't you enjoy seeing me as an entertainer in a night club? You would enjoy it even more to see me as a designer of swimwear. can you help me , please? May I? Thanks I must congratulate you. You swim quite well. I have already thanked you, what else can I say to you, Mr. Dinamo? Ah, you know my name, that means you have heard of me. You are wrong,I only know your name, and I am not interested in knowing you. Alex. Where where you, I was looking for you. Adriana Its just that I came out for a stroll on this wonderful night. to take in the fresh air, and to gaze upon the moon. A moon in a blue bikini? No...you are wrong, Adriana. Excuse me, Madame, I forgot my bracelet. Valet? Please give this to Mr. Dinamo, at the casino. No more bets. three red I will teach you how to win at this game. You don't say. it seems I always loose when you are along. seventeen. Listen to me, I am an expert. No more bets. seven red Oh my, that is the only time I did not play seven red and now it comes up. and its all your fault for interrupting me, just when I was going to play seven red. Do not worry, we will win now, on seventeen. No more bets, ten black. Ah, so you are quite the expert, eh? Now you will believe. Tokens please. Unfortunate in games of chance, fortunate in games of love. Lets put that theory to the test. Mr. Dinamo, a message thanks seventeen black We won! We won, Alex! what? Seventeen black, we won! Great! Fortunate in games of chance, unfortunate in games of love. we won. What, thats all? yes. Ok then Thanks Here. You where splendid. Truly, you looked marvelous. Enough with the complements, you know that there is no room for them between us. What time is the meeting? Tonight at midnight. And Uli? He is carrying out a small mission. You are becoming quite the dangerous Cassanova. Me? Why do you say that? I have my reasons. Should I bring Mr. Dinamo's car? No, bring mine! Adriana, wait! wait. What happened to you...you are quite the mess. I was trying to stop a man from shooting a woman. Who was he? I do not know, It was dark. And who was she? Don't know, I only saw her shadow. Oh, sure. Ah,I see, there goes your "ghost." Say..no... bast... Forgive me, I tought it was one more of your tricks. Oh, the message. Get in, quick, tonite, we shall dance at the Crazy Horse. Ah! Dinamo? zero zero one hundred So, it was you. I have something very important to inform you, but now it is much to dangerous, I am being followed. I will contact you, Careful! Excuse me, miss, did I harm you? No, not that much. Now you will tell me that you had another fight, and someone tried to kill you, right? Of course, look... We have been waiting three minutes for you. Excuse me . Ms. Bristol but... There is no time for explanations! We will begin our business. Our best weapon has been and always will be, terrorism. It has given us great results in countries that are already under our control. But... but what has happened in the countries where you work? nothing. Absolutely nothing. Only some skirmishes and nothing conclusive. This is why we are meeting here. Report to me your activities. I will advise you of new systems, and new weapons. Where is that red head? She went out a few minutes ago, Madame. The red head was here with us. She was in a hurry, but did not say where she was going. If she is not here on time, you start the show with the special design, allez, allez! Yes, Madame, I will be ready. And you follow with the "Springtime Dream" design! And then in the rehearsed order. Yes, Madame. Where where you! At the beauty salon, Madame. You are so late, we are about to start! Yes, Madame. Good luck, girls, and don't get nervous. Say, don't you think its lovely? My dear Adriana, I have had no time to admire the swimsuits. No doubt our convention has been a success. We needed a convention such as this, We will coordinate our plans, and correct misteakes. This design is so lovely, right? I think its precious. I am refering to... the bikini, yes, thats what I said. This one is also lovely, but I just don't like the color. Don't see what's wrong with the color, its wonderful. This was an idea formidable, if it wasn't for... there is nothing to worry about, all has been taken care of, Madame. "Tonight, San Francisco Convent" May I be informed at what time the date starts? Take a look. Quite mysterious for a love date, don't you think? Come on, we are next. Ok, Ok, if you want to stick your nose in this, go ahead. It is enough that there are skirts involved for you to be interested. but let me tell you this, we will find out nothing, untill we know all of the victim's background. unless you know something, Alex. What do you know? Not much, Inspector. I only know who killed the model. And if you know, why not spit it out? It was...the murderer. Ah, another one of your bad jokes. May I look trough your notes? And what is it to you about my notes? No, I am refering to the documents of the murdered model, may I see them? What are you doing? Making sure of the authenticity of these documents. I am sorry to tell you, Inspector, It will be very difficult to identify the victim. Ah, so you mistrust the efficiency of the police? Nothing like that. To the contrary, they deserve all my respect. But what I can assure you, is that , these documents, are fake. Are you sure? A ha, absolutely. What are you doing? taking some pictures. No doubt, you are quite ingenious. But this gadget has never done you any good. You think, Inspector? Very well, I will take a look around, and will keep you informed. One moment. Remember, no violence, so anything comes up, notify my immediatedly. Do not react on your own. No worries. Come here please Yes, Inspector? I want these documents analysed, and duplicate the passport photo. Immediatedly. Wait. Keep an eye on Dinamo, I do not want him complicating things. He knows something, inform me of all his movements, understood? Yes sir. Go ahead. Well, very well. I see you have learned quickly, Adriana. Thank you, Madame. Remember no to think of what has happened, it was horrible, but it has passed. We cannot do anything for her now, let this be a lesson. Surely,it was one of those, crimes of passion. Go change, we must see the next designs. Good morning, Madame Rapee. Look, I admit no one to interrupt my work. So, if you are here to see your friend, it is best for you to leave, and dont come here again. Allez! I am sorry, I do not know what friend you are talking about? She is talking about me. Ah, I see you got a job, I am glad. Yes, but not for long, If you do not leave immediatedly! Ok, Madame, In reality, the only thing I wanted, was to interview the models. Are you une, police? Not exactly... They have undergone all kinds of questioning, And I do not want the girls to be nervous with what happened, so leave! In that case, please forgive me, I will bother you no more, Excuse me. Ok girls, lets go. Diana? who is it? Dinamo. I want to ask you some questions. Come in, the door is open. grab a drink, relax, I will be out soon. Why did you take so long? I have been expecting you. I will explain... I will explain the reason for my visit. Reasons do not matter. I only want you to answer some questions about... It will be best for you to ask nothing. Can you pour me a drink? a...drink? Double? If you like. Double. I only want you to answer one question. Would you like it if I told you...that I like you? What do you know about her? Oh, you are refering to the murdered girl. The same. I know many things. Tell me. I know she was a model, who came to a swimsuit designer's convention. What else. And that she was murdered. The only thing I don't know is who did it. Are you satisfied? No, I am not. Surely, you will be. S.O.S. he is in the elevator. its stoped on the second floor. Open up, Laura. Need something? I want some info on the murdered girl. Please sit down, Mr... Dinamo Please, sit Thanks. Smoke? Very kind of you. Do you understand the incovenience we have had with the police inquiry? We are not used to that line of inquiry. But I will be delighted to cooperate, with what little I know. Hopefully, it will be of use to punish the perpetrator. Ms. Bristol, I would like to know about you. I will spare you from a long line of questioning Laura? Give him what I dictaded persuant to the case. Here you have all I know about the unlucky girl. When she was hired, how we met her, etc. And... I will ask for you to bother me no longer, Mr... What did you say your name was? Forget it, it is not important. Show him out. Thanks. I need a secretary just like you, when you wish to resign, know that I await you with open arms, eh. I would like to have you as a boss, but I am quite pleased with my current job. Good bye, Mr. Dinamo. I do not like that guy. Easy, Pascual, easy. I am tired of this lack of activity! C3, go ahead. S.O.S. Reporting S.O.S. Reporting Alex Dinamo is headed your way. Follow instructions, follow instructions. Understood. With joy I would split that bastard's head with a single blow! There is no need to listen to our conversation in that manner, Mr. Dinamo. we have nothing to hide. Very well, in that case, I only wish for you to answer some questions related to... We know about what. Here is all you need to know about the matter, I hope that our data will help you resolve the case, and punish the perpetrator. This is quite queer, those same words I have heard from the lips of, Ms. Bristol. I can see that you have quite the perfect organization. Oh no, no, Mr. Dinamo, we are men of action, businessmen, executives of important corporations, and we are not acustomed to wasting our time! What's the matter, Alex? Are you still dedicated to investigating? Or to have fun taking plunges fully dressed? That is correct, Inspector, can't you see I am trying out the swimsuit I will model at the conference? Good morning, Alex Good morning. Come in, I was expecting you. Thanks. I regret I can only offer you...this. But I believe it may interest you. Ah, as I can see, you lot waste no time. we are men of action, businessmen, executives of important..., Of important corporations, I know. I know the script well. To tell the truth, your organization is too perfect for a plain conference. But not that smart. We shall meet again soon. Mr. Dinamo, Yes? I did not know that not only are you efficient, and a good observer, you are a photo enthusiast. What? May I see your lighter? My lighter? Yes, your photographic device. Very well, you lot already found out? I only wanted to take pictures of the important people attending the conference. That was all. Mr. Dinamo It is logical that you should fail as a vulgar detective, unlike us, who are specialized agents. So I would suggest for you to not move! It was a good idea of yours, that. My picture could have been identified by the intelligence service, but I can assure you, that will not be so. Freeze, Mr. Dinamo! It seems you fail to understand that behind this book is a machine pistol with silencer, ready to fire. Very well, I will demonstrate. Lucrecia? Report in. Calling HQ, calling HQ? Go ahead, Lucrecia. We have Dinamo. Understood, hand him over to S.O.S. so they can take care of him. S.O.S. recieving, Agents S.O.S. one and S.O.S. two bring Dinamo onboard, alive, or dead if necessary. General advisory! General advisory! We will hold a meeting immediatedly, over. Mr. Dinamo, thanks to you, we will have to rush our plans. Take care of him! Very well, shall we? I am sure that all this is very risky for our organization. Well then, we have to get ready for the meeting, we do not have much time. Follow them! Agent S.O.S four to unit one, respond unit one. Agent S.O.S four to unit one,attention unit one, Unit one, go ahead. You are being tailed by a car,You are being tailed by a car! Understood. Quickly, accelerate, we must loose them! Ok then, go take a break, I will let you know if we have another test. Miss Diana, one moment, I must speak with you. Yes, Madame Attention, attention, this is Lucrecia reporting, we have Adriana, you may pick her up. Yes, Madame? Do not be frightened, Miss, you are only going to serve as company, to your friend Dinamo. We do not want any risks. It is best for you to not resist, dear. Freeze or I shoot, darling. Take her. I will take care of her later, personally. Kill him! I will. Watch out! Are you ok, Dinamo? I am, Inspector, this is bigger than you can imagine. We are facing an S.O.S. cell. S.O.S.? Secret Organisational Service. What are they looking for here? I do not know, Inspector, but we must not waste time. Have your men sorround the hotel and wait there, to await my signal. May I use one of your motors? Alex, please, no need to risk yourself further. We can catch the lot of them. We will do that, Inspector, but I do not want to loose the opportunity to nick the entire organization. Unfortunatedly, my only withnesess, are in there. Relay the order to alert patrol units. The weapon's shipments will be sent from different points, and we shall use different codes for each shipment. In the envelopes in front of you, you will find a microfilm with codes, With the instructions and funds needed, to head to the countries you have been assigned. Our contacts will be the same, and the plans you are already aware of. We shall begin as soon as possible. You all understand the methods to carry out our plans, based on the ideologies and peculiarities of the chosen countries. and now, I need only remind you, that the key to our success, is in your hands. Gentlemen, our meeting is concluded. To remain another day here is dangerous. Be brave , and good luck S.O.S. in general meeting, go ahead. Agent four reporting distress call. Unit one has crashed, units one, two, and three have perished. Alex Dinamo escaped and is headed your way. Police is mobilizing to cordon off the building. Stop them! Impossible to carry out plan one and leave Quito by plane. We leave to Guayaquil by land, and carry out plan two,understood? Inspector! They shot from that roof top, but escaped. It will not be for long. Pick up our comrade's body, the rest of you, follow me! Lets go! Hurry! One of your men must stay here, no one must leave the hotel! You heard him, disconnect both elevators! Hurry! Yes, Inspector. This way. We are too late, Inspector. Search the entire hotel, they must not be far. Let's go! Wait! Listen, Inspector, it's Adriana's beacon, we have a lead,come! Based on the distance and heading, they are driving towards Guayaquil. To Guayaquil, are you sure? That is what I believe, Inspector. Hold all flights, no one must leave. Advise the patrol boats, we will comb the entire Guayaquil. Is she ready, does she have petrol? Yes sir, shall I accompany you? I would not recommend it. Quickly, push off the boat. Call the pilots and advise them to be ready. Yes. Ms. Bristol. HQ to flies, HQ to flies, HQ to flies Flies to HQ, go ahead. This is an emergency, have plane 336 ready to carry out plan two. We will carry out plan two. Have them send a plane to cover us if needed. Send a plane to protect us if necessary, on the river. Understood, we will be ready. Captain, radar registers a light craft that is closing in fast to our stern. Its Dinamo. Prepare arms! Battlestations! Attention, light helicopters,patrol entire sector. Attention, Yacht club, attention, Yacht club. Viking calling Yacht club, over. Yacht club, Yacht club answering, go ahead Viking. Miss, call the police Inspector, advise him that I am chasing the yacht, of the S.O.S. organisation, twelve miles high, by the Salty Estuary, twelve miles, over Understood, Mr. Dinamo. Understood, out. One moment, we will finish him my way, fetch the girl! untie her. here, were he can see her. Mr. Dinamo, get closer if you dont't want something to happen to your partner. Hide your weapons, when he gets close,we will anihilate him. Fire, finish them! Attention, amphibian fly to HQ, Go ahead fly. We are ready at the estuary to carry out plan two, We are ready at the estuary to carry out plan two, Plane one is in the air, over. Deploy the amphibian and prepare rockets for action. Alert the coast guard, be alert. lets go. Carefull with that grenade! rudder full starboard, rudder full starboard! ram the girl, ram the girl! She must not escape, ram the girl! Attention, this is amphibian fly, amphibian fly to HQ, over. Respond, what is happening? Take care of that boat while we disenbark at the landing strip, Take care of that boat while we disenbark at the landing strip. I got you! Fire. Fire! You are crazy! They would anihilate us all! Stop the boat. The planes where intercepted at the clandestine airfield, I caught them like wasps in a nest! you caught them... We caught them, Inspector. Eh...well, yeah, we caught them. Well then, no need to argue, I will treat you to a bottle of champagne at the bar, shall we? Lets. The End Subtitles by Jose Jimenez 03/18/2012 NARRATOR". When last we saw the Caped Crusaders they were trapped in Black Widow's giant cobweb about to be bitten by two deadly Black Widow spiders. Are the heroes headed for that great Batcave in the sky? In scant seconds, the answer will be yours. Batman, he's almost on me. He is a she, Robin. Only the female of the species is venomous. And mine is almost upon me also. I've freed my right hand. Now if I can just reach the mini charge in my utility belt. I've got it. Brace yourself for a shock of 5000 volts, Robin. We'll be stunned for a split second. But the cobweb will act as a conductor, and the spiders will be electrocuted. - Hurry, Batman. She's ready to bite me. -Now. Good going, Batman. I thought we were dead ducks. I'm sure Black Widow thinks we're dead bats about now. What was that exit line of hers? Something about "My lieutenants and I are going to tunnel into my vault." Tunnel, that's how most crooks get into vaults. But into her own vault? And she couldn't have gotten far. She's left the Black Widow Cycle here. This must be it. And two for me. Two for you. And two for me. Two for you. I wouldn't grow too attached to all of that if I were you, Black Widow. For heaven's sake, look who's here. You didn't count on us, did you, you sophisticated but evil woman? As a matter of fact, no. But how fiendishly clever of you. And how handsome you are, Bat-doll. Watch out for a trick, Batman. Don't worry, Robin. She won't catch us off guard this time. You needn't try to short circuit our brains, Black Widow. We're still wearing our anti-short circuit Bat-brain electrodes. Batman, I've lost one of my electrodes. Bad luck, old chum, but perhaps I can pull off a bluff. No amount of UHF short circuiting can affect the brain of either Robin or me. Are you definitely wearing your electrodes, darlings? - Definitely. -Definitely. Marvelous, because I've reversed the polarity on my brainwave short circuiter. Just an added little precaution. And with the electrodes on, you've had it. You, she-devil. Have you short circuited Batman's brain? No cause for alarm, Robin. I feel fine, just fine. You see, Robin baby. Now be a good little Boy Wonder and do just as I say. No, I will not submit to your treachery! Trap Door, sweetie pie, you're needed. Wrap up Robin, my boys. Ah! Very good, kiddies. You're learning the business. Ha-ha-ha. Now, is there anything I can do for you, Black Widow? As a matter of fact, there is. I have a perfectly devastating idea. Masked Muscles, you go back through the tunnel into my main web and have a little drink to the latest development. Ha, ha. - How does that grab you, doll? -Fine. - Could we take Robin along too? -But of course. No Robin, no Dynamic Duo. - N'est-ce pas? - Ha, ha. Now, I imagine Robin is getting a bit heavy? Boys, I'm sure the Bat-doll would like to get rid of him. Better tie him up. Well, Bat-doll, perhaps you would like some champagne? I never touch spirits. Have you some milk? Milk? Oh, yes, yes. Oh, maybe Trap Door has some. Trap Door, have you got any milk in there? Thank you. - Perhaps you'd like to mix your own. -Thank you. Delicious milk. Well, now, my dear, this may come as a surprise to you but I have a little problem. You, Black Widow? I thought business was good. Business is boring. I've completely run out of banks to rob. I've run through them all. Now, that's where you may come in handy. Me? How? Well, everyone's heard about your Batcave and everyone's heard about your Batcomputer in your Batcave. Oh. You want me to get the Batcomputer to give you a bank to rob. Precisely. Do you think that you could send for it? We don't have to send for it. I have right here in my Utility Belt a remote control Batcomputer oscillator. Oh, heh. - How convenient. How does it work? -Simple. I just press this button and it activates the radio frequency Bat-generator. - And I just talk to it? -No, I talk into it. It wouldn't recognize your voice. Now, question: ls there any bank in Gotham City which Black Widow has not robbed? My word, wherever he is Batman must be operating his remote control Batcomputer oscillator. Ah. Here we are. The just-opened Heritage First National Bank. How perfectly lovely. Ha-ha-ha! Again? It must be adding something. Wait a minute, it's sending a further message. - What is, darling? -Here. "Seen with Black Widow. Batman's life in great danger?" Oh, it really seems as if your criminal career is over even before it starts. But I am certainly not going to risk your life. Let's take the gamble. Batcomputer's known to be wrong when it's elected to go off on its own, right? Ah, ha, ha. No, but I have a brilliant idea. Tarantula, go upstairs, get Grandpa off his rocker and bring him down here quickly. Batman, you wouldn't by any chance happen to have an extra Batsuit just kind of lying around, would you? Oh, yes, as a matter of fact, we do. Lovely. Lovely. Now, Tarantula, I want you to bring my makeup kit and I want you to make Grandpa to look exactly like Batman and I will make myself up to look exactly like Robin. Now, look here, darling, I want you to call the manager of the just-opened Heritage First National Bank. You may use my Web Phone. Try it. NARRATOR". While Black Widow hatches her plot, at Commissioner Gordon's office... I don't know what he's doing behind that mask of his but at least there haven't been any bank robberies in quite a while. - That's a good sign, isn't it, Chief O'Hara? -A very good sign. Caped Crusader probably has Black Widow under lock and key at this very minute. - Commissioner Gordon. -This is Irving Irving at the just-opened Heritage First National Bank. - Yes, Mr. Irving. -I just had a call from Batman. He wants me to take $40,000 in a brown paper bag to the front of the bank at exactly 11:43 this morning. -Well, that sounds odd, Mr. Irving. He says the Batmobile will be parked there. And he's arranged for Black Widow to meet him and they will split the money. Oh, well, then do it by all means. - Thank you for calling, Mr. Irving. - All right, commissioner. Ha! Apparently, Batman is springing a trap on Black Widow. That's good. Are you sure you're gonna be able to drive the Batmobile from the passenger side? Perfectly, Tarantula. What time is it, doll? Exactly 11 :37. Got to run, sweetheart. Keep an eye on the Dynamic Duo. While my Batman and Robin do their stuff. Ta-da, darling. Well, Chief O'Hara, Black Widow's caper should be just about over. And I should be hearing from Batman now. Yes, right on schedule. Why isn't he calling on the Batphone? Commissioner Gordon. Ah, ha-ha-ha. Ro- - Robin did what, Mr. Irving? Oh. Thank you for calling, sir. Yes, we'll get out a bulletin right away. Glory be, commissioner. What's wrong? The just-opened Heritage First National Bank has just been robbed. - By Batman and Robin. -Saints preserve us. Yes, indeed, saints preserve us if the Caped Crusaders have gone crooked. Which apparently they have. Mr. Irving could hardly have dreamed that this happened. Chief O'Hara, I want an APB to all units for the arrest of Batman. Hopefully alive, but we'll take him the other way if we have to. Attention all units. Be on alert for Batman. First name unknown. Caucasian. Height: 6'2, wearing purple trunks, purple cape, purple cowl and a black bat insignia on his chest. He has a masked accomplice whose alias is Robin. Approach with caution. They may be armed. I hate to do it, Caped Crusader, but I have to take you in. You're on the wanted list. My gun's pointed at you, Caped Crusader. Don't make me use it. Think Batman is afraid of you, Copper? Go on and shoot. I dare you. What's happened to you, Boy Wonder? Even your voice has turned snarly. None of your business, Flatfoot. Now, go ahead and shoot, because you'll never take us alive. Batman, I'm giving you three to get out of the car with your hands up. One. Two. Three. I couldn't have missed at such close range. I've killed Batman! Red six on a black seven! I certainly don't wish to be rude but normally the game of solitaire requires only one player. Ha, ha. Oh, come on, Batman, cheat a little. Or it ain't no fun! Why don't you two kibitzers go outside and wait for Black Widow? - All that loot. Sure. -Yes. Trap Door! Come on. Batman. - Who untied you? -I untied myself. - Was that wise? -Yes. And I want you to do me a favor. - What? -Sing a song for me. - Loud. -Oh. All right. Ahem. - How about some Gilbert and Sullivan? -Fine. Ha, ha. I'm called little Buttercup Dear little Buttercup Though I could never tell why A little louder. But still I'm called Buttercup Pool little Buttercup Sweet little Buttercup, I Robin? What's happening? Batman, I want you to come with me later today and rob a bank. Robin, don't even joke about such a thing. Have you lost all your sense of judgment? Holy reverse polarity, I did it! I got you out of Black Widow's clutches! Of course, I knew what I was doing but with my cerebrum short circuited I couldn't stop myself. You sit down here, Robin. I'll retie your hands and pretend that my brain is still short circuited. Sure and it's a dark hour in Gotham City, commissioner. Yes. But I was faced with the decision and I had to make it. How will we be breaking the news to the people? We'll tell them the truth. Batman was shot and killed when he and Robin... Robin? No doubt he's gone into hiding. Most likely in the Batcave. Maybe I can talk to him. Get him to surrender. So no more of the Dynamic Duo's blood will be spilled on the streets of our fair city. I'm sorry, sir. Batman is not here. I know that. - We've lost the Caped Crusader. -Lost? One of our officers was forced to shoot Batman. And the Boy Wonder has become one of Gotham City's ten most wanted men. Boys. Is he there hiding out? No, I'm afraid not, sir. But- - But isn't it possible that a mistake has been made? No mistake was made. Why? Well, it's a long and rather involved story, sir. You see, earlier today, Batman activated the Batcomputer via his remote control Batcomputer oscillator. Remote control? I took the liberty of getting some information from the, uh, Batcomputer myself. Batman activated the computer from, uh, "411 Larva Drive." -411 Larva Drive. -Larva Drive. Sounds like a good place for Black Widow's hideout. Thank you. We'll get on it right away. Get some men and some squad cars, and let's go. I'm back, boys. Well, now, after a brief encounter with the law and a quick change in the lady's lounge-- Oh, Grandpa's back too on the porch. Guess what I have in this tiny little bag. - More stolen money? -What else? Oh, Batman, you were out of this world. And, of course, I was adorable as baby Boy Wonder. Robin's pretty good as a Boy Wonder too. You bet I am, Batman. Let's get them. Now, what did I do with that silly short circuiting device? You mean, what did I do with it, you obsessed woman. Black Widow. First of all, Robin and I will wanna return all the stolen moneys to banks A through H. What a perfect idea. - And secondly-- Batman. Oh, it's really you. In cape and cowl, commissioner. Why? - I'll explain later, but thank heaven. - And this is Black Widow. So you're the she-devil who's been robbing us out of house and home. Oh, you must be Chief O'Hara. What a delightful surprise. Why don't you ask her if she'd like to go along to jail with you, Chief O'Hara? Oh, don't ask. My heart says no but my brain says yes, love. I feel it's my responsibility to tell you that you have the constitutional right to consult with your attorney before answering any questions. -Ah! But I want to answer his questions. Sweetheart, I cannot tell you how much you remind me of my dear departed Max. - You'd better come with me, Black Widow. -Thank you. Goldberg, you take care of the rest of them. I can't wait to see how it turns out, angel. If it really looks good, I'd love to have you come over every day and give me a wash and set. Why don't we have a look? Ah! Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And only Batman knows for sure. Batman there's a question I got to be asking you and the Boy Wonder. Yes, chief? With all the crime that you and Robin should be out fighting how do you find time to come here and fix Black Widow's coiffeur? Those aren't hair dryers, Chief O'Hara. They're Bat Wave Brain Analyzers, which Robin and I have slightly rewired. Oh, you mean you're not really fixing their hair? Right. What we're doing is decriminalizing them. It may take months of treatment, but we feel it's worth a try. If we can permanently short circuit the bad streaks in them we will make honest useful citizens out of those spidery crooks. Chief O'Hara, do you realize what time it is'? I'm famished. Please bring me a menu, doll. And don't forget the wine list. You heard the lady, chief. Get a menu. Yes. Yes, ma'am. A menu and a wine list. I'll see if I can locate them. Divine, darling. Absolutely divine. ♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ (ELEPHANT TRUMPETS) (JUDY CHATTERING) Judy, get lost. Yeah. Mike, where are those eye drops? Oh, thank you. Well, we'll just put a little of these in. Oh, that stings. What is it? A steroid with an antibiotic. Yeah, here, want this? That should clear up the infection in about 24 hours. However, the world might look a little fuzzy to you for a while. Here, put these on, Paula. It'll cut down the glare. (JUDY SCREECHES) Judy. Take that-- that's my new hat. For Pete's sake. Around here, all hats belong to people. But if you find one in the bush, keep it. (CHATTERING) - And where're you going? - Well, to make lunch. Lunch has already been prepared, courtesy of Jack, our new short-order cook. Well then, I better check on it. I wonder how many ways you can boil eggs. Chief cook and bottle washer. Boy, what a waste of talent. Hmm. (CHATTERING) (CHATTERING CONTINUES) (CHATTERING) Oh, for crying out loud. Judy! (SIGHS) Ok, Toto, enjoy the peel. Look, for once, please try to be a good girl, huh? Just today? (ANIMAL PURRING) (ROARS) (CHATTERING) (SCREECHING, ROARING) (MARSH): Judy. Oh, for Pete's sake. (MARSH): What on Earth has gotten into you anyway? Dad and Mike, don't jump at Judy so. I'm not jumping at Judy. She's just been acting up. First stealing my hat. Now twisting Clarence's tail. And not only that. She has been poaching bananas from the fruit bowl. Oh? You know, young lady, I think a few days in a cage might do you some good. (SCREECHES) Oh, come on, you guys, stop picking on her. Oh, I'm not picking on her. Ah, she's just picking on the whole world. (VEHICLE APPROACHES) Hello, Hedley, what's up? More a question of what's down. Have you been listening to the radio reports of Sally, the American astro-chimp? Oh, yes. Yes, we listened to the blast-off last week - from Cape Kennedy. - It certainly was exciting. Judy, you remember my telling you about the chimp taking the ride around the moon. (CHATTERING) Last we heard, she had returned and was due to splash down in the South Atlantic - about an hour ago. - Well, she hasn't. The guidance system malfunctioned at the point of re-entry, so instead of the Atlantic Ocean, - she may well be in this area. - (MARSH): Are you sure? The American consulate in Nagoro just radioed me. I've been out alerting all the village chiefs. Well, having been on a lunar orbit, I'd say that at this moment, Sally is the world's most valuable chimp. (SCREECHES) As soon as she's found, she has to be given a very complete examination. Now, the American consulate in Nagoro is sending out a truck with a military and scientific attaché, but they don't know the area as well as we do. Poor thing, she might've been injured in the landing. Or what about possible attack by another animal in the bush? Uh, she has to be in an exhausted condition, so wherever she is she's in serious jeopardy. Mike, get me a dart rifle from the truck. - Mmm. - Hedley, I'll go with you. - Good. - Jack, you and Mike take a look down by the river. And, Paula, you stick right here by the radio. (JUDY CHATTERING) Look, Judy, come on now. This is no time for fun and games. Come on. Get over there. Go on, scoot. (ENGINE STARTS) (SCREECHING) Come on, Judy, we have work to do. You heard the Daktari. Now scoot, huh? Young lady, you are getting to be a pest. Now, look, you can't go with us. You'd only be in the way, understand? Here, hold her. (CHATTERING) Judy, shame on you. You know, today, there just happens to be a chimp far more important than you. (CHATTERING) (PAULA): You know, somewhere out in the bush there's a chimp just like you. Only she's been on a long trip through outer space. And now she's waiting for somebody to rescue her. Poor thing. All alone, frightened, and lost. (TRUMPETS) (MAN OVER RADIO): This is Radio Nagoro interrupting again to give you the latest news on the fate of Sally, the missing American astro-chimp. The space capsule which carried her on her epic round-trip to the moon has apparently landed somewhere deep in the confines of the Wameru game reserve. Natives at nearby Katanga village reported sighting a large, metal object floating from the sky under the canopy of a red, white, and blue parachute... (MARSH, OVER RADIO): Paula. Paula, do you read me? Yes, Dad. Have you found little Sally yet? (MARSH): Not yet. Look, Hedley and I are near Manduli, and Jack and Mike are headed for the river crossing. Look, honey, I hate to ask you this, but, um, do you feel up to walking over to the north waterhole? If Sally's wandering around she's probably pretty thirsty by now. Well, sure, Dad. (MARSH): Why, and take Clarence and Judy. And don't forget to keep in touch, ok? Ok, out. Now, Judy, we've got work to do. You get Clarence, and we're gonna join in the search. Go on. No, Toto, I'm sorry. You're gonna have to stay home. You're too small to take out into the bush. Anyway, I can't look after you. As a matter of fact, I need Clarence and Judy to look after me, so you stay here, ok? (CHATTERING) (ELEPHANTS TRUMPETING) (TRUMPETING CONTINUES) (CHATTERING) Oh, Judy, I guess you're right. I can't focus too well. There's no harm in letting you try. Do you see anything, Judy? (CHATTERING) (CHATTERING) Ok, Judy. I guess she's not around here. Why don't you take a look over there? I'll stay here with Clarence. And remember, if you find Sally, be gentle with her. Dad says she's a very important chimp. Now go on. (CLARENCE PURRING) Paula Tracy calling Officer Hedley. Come in, Hedley. Paula Tracy calling Hedley. Come in please. Paula calling Hedley. Come in, Hedley. Come in. Hedley here. Come in, Paula. Where are you? Well, I'm at the north waterhole, but no astro-chimp. Where's Dad? He's out in the bush looking for tracks. You know, the trouble with chimps is they're very tricky, and it's almost impossible to track them. But if anyone can find a missing chimp, I'd place my money on Marsh. I'm afraid Daktari hasn't had any luck either. - How are you doing? - Well, not too well. And you know, I guess it takes a chimp to find a chimp. Judy's out in the bush scouting around. Over and out, Hedley. Oh, Clarence, I hope Judy can find Sally. (CHATTERING) (SCREECHING) (MIKE): Around here, all hats belong to people, but if you find one in the bush, keep it. (CHATTERING, SCREECHING) (ANIMALS SNORTING) (MENACING MUSIC) (CHATTERING) (SCREECHING) (CHATTERING) (MIKE): If you find one in the bush, keep it. (ANIMAL SNARLING) (GROWLS) Well, come on, Clarence, it's time to go round up Judy. Come on. Come on. Clarence, this is no time to sleep on the job. Come on. Clarence. Come on, Clarence. (SNARLS, GROWLS) Clarence! (SCREECHING) (ROARS) (SCREECHING) (ROARS) (SCREECHING) (ROARS) (ROARS) (BIRDS CHIRPING) Judy! Clarence, look out for that leopard. Get him away from Judy. (CLARENCE GROWLING) Oh, Clarence, good boy. Good boy, Clarence. Judy, where are you going? It's all right. Everything's fine now. Now we'll go home, ok? Judy, is something wrong? That leopard hurt you? Judy, you know me, don't you? Judy, Clarence saved your life. Don't you know Clarence, your old buddy? Paula Tracy calling Daktari. Dad, come in please. Paula Tracy calling Daktari. Dad, can you hear me? Yes, Paula, what is it? Well, it's Judy, Dad, she was attacked by a leopard. - Well, was she hurt? - Well, not really. Clarence chased the leopard away, but there's still something wrong with Judy. It's as if she's in shock, Dad. I'm frightened. She doesn't recognize me. Well, Paula, she's just probably playing games. She doesn't even recognize Clarence. Dad, I think you better get back here and have a look at her. Paula, you know I can't do that. We have to locate Sally. Judy needs you more. Now, uh, Paula, I'm sure Judy will snap out of it. Right now, Sally holds the answers to a lot of information the space agency needs. Well, I don't care about Sally. Judy's in terrible trouble and you're chasing some silly astro-chimp around the bush. Ah, now, listen, young lady, get a hold of yourself. You're not doing Judy, yourself or anyone any good by getting hysterical. Now listen, does--does Judy have any physical injuries? I'll check. There's no visible wounds or broken bones. Well, does she have any muscle paralysis? I'll tell you what, test her reflexes. All right. Well, her arms and legs seem to function all right. Well, then there's no brain damage or muscle paralysis. Well, Dad, I don't know about brain damage. Something's happened to Judy. Paula, you sure you're not imagining things? Dad, I swear to you, I am not imagining anything. And I think Judy's suffering from amnesia. Now, what can I do? All right, Paula, I'll tell you what to do. Take Judy back to the clinic and do a complete diagnostic work-up on her. Take her pulse, blood pressure, uh, respiration readings. Do an EKG, an EEG, and you can X-ray both arms and legs. And if she's still out of sorts you can give her a mild sedative, ok? Marsh, is all that really necessary? Oh, no, of course not. I just want to keep her occupied. Uh, Paula, you sound as if you're having kind of a bad case of nerves. Dad, my nerves are perfectly calm. Now, there's something wrong with Judy. She's a different chimp. Honey, she probably just wants some attention. She's not faking. She is sick. She's very sick. All right, honey. All right. Take Judy back to the clinic, and do as I told you. Are you sure you feel up to it? Yes, Dad, I'll do anything to help her. - Anything. - Ok, honey. Paula and her instant diagnosis. Come on Judy. Let's go, Clarence. (BIRD SQUAWKING) (MAN, OVER RADIO): This is Cape Kennedy, bringing to the entire world via international shortwave the launching of the most important animal in the world, Judy the astro-chimp. At this moment a rocket is being launched into space. Judy, the sweetheart of the whole civilized world, sits in her spacecraft atop this mighty rocket. Ready to be blasted into a perilous ride through space to make the first landing of any living creature on the moon. When Judy takes that first step on the moon, she will become the most famous chimp in history. We are now in the last 10 seconds of the countdown. All conditions are go. And still counting-- 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2... 1, ignition, blast-off. (MAN): She's awake. Atta girl, Sally, you did it. - You better call Nagoro. - Right. - Sergeant, get me a banana. - Yes, sir. This is Captain Stedman calling Nagoro. Come in, Nagoro. Come in, please. (MAN, OVER RADIO): This is Nagoro. Come in, Captain. Nagoro, relay this message to America. We have found the missing astro-chimp Sally at Wameru game reserve. Repeat, we have found Sally. What is her condition? Repeat, what is her condition? (MAN): Well, uh, just a minute. Dr. Alison, what's your off-the-cuff estimate - of Sally's condition? - Stay with her, Sergeant. Yes, sir. Here, Sally, let me help you. This is Dr. Alison from the consulate. Without a complete diagnostic check-up, which we can only do properly at a medical office, I would say she is really a super chimp. Her heart has a steady beat, and she appears to be in astonishingly good health considering her fantastic voyage through space. Now if you'll excuse me, I want to get back - to my famous patient. - Message received. I'll be needing you, Doctor. Thanks. That's right, Nagoro. We'll keep in touch. Out. That's it. We're gonna lift her. Put your hands under her. - You get that end. - Right. Up we go. 1, 2, 3, lift. Here we go. Now we'll turn. (SERGEANT): You'll be all right, pal. (CAPTAIN): Here we go. I'll get her from the front. All right. - Ok. - All right. Lay her down gently now. - Real easy. Yeah. - Let her down gently. There you go. - That's a girl. - Yes. - That's right. - There we go. - There. - There we are. Now, how do you feel, Sally? (CHATTERING) Oh, we just wanna take your helmet off so you'll be more comfortable. All right. All right, Sally. Whatever you want. Whatever you want. (CAMERA CLICKS) Sergeant, start the tape recorder. Wanna get a complete record of this. Yes, sir. Now, Sally, I want you to breathe in and out. (CAMERA CLICKS) (VEHICLE APPROACHES) - Sergeant, stop that car. - Yes, sir. - Hi. - Shh! - Shh! - Shh! - They found Sally. - Mm-hmm. Atta girl, Sally. By tonight, the entire world's gonna hear how well you're breathing. Hi, I'm Jack Dane. This is Mike Makula. - Hi. - We're from the Wameru Center. I'm Captain Stedman from the consulate. This is Sergeant McEvoy, and Dr. Alison, our scientific attaché. How do you do? Doctor. We're with the search party. Well, thanks very much for your help, gentlemen, but as you can see, we were fortunate enough to have already found Sally. - Can we see her? - Sure. It's all right, Sergeant. Hello, Sall-- I don't believe it. That's not Sally. That's Judy. She's our chimp. You gotta be kidding. Of course it's Judy. She's our compound pet. Gentlemen, you are sadly mistaken. Look, she's wearing an authentic NASA space helmet. Now, if she weren't Sally, what would she be doing with that helmet? Well, that's a tough thing to answer, but believe me, you are making a mistake. Please, young man, we've got no time for jokes. Doctor, I assure you, if anybody's playing jokes, it's Judy here. Come on, Judy. Don't touch that chimp. Look, fellas, this animal's the property of the United States government. (JACK): Captain, you are wrong. Doctor, will you let us prove it to you? Ok, convince us. Hey, Judy. Judy, it's Mike and Jack. She has a stubborn streak. Judy, don't you have something to say to us? (SQUEAKS) Judy, this is getting silly. Now, say something. Look, I will ask her to give me a kiss. Now, if she does so, will that prove to you that space helmet or not, she is our chimp? Not necessarily. And let me warn you, Sally is reputed to be a very aggressive chimp. - Don't get too close to her. - I'll take my chances. Ok, Judy, now look, you've had a lot of fun, but the game is over. Now you lean over here and you give your old friend Jack a great big kiss. Now, come on. Pucker up. (SCREECHING) Jack, you all right? No, no, Sally, don't do that. I told you not to get too close. - Did you see that? - Yes. What's gotten into her? Judy, when I get you home-- Hold it! That's enough. - Judy, so help me-- - All right, Sergeant, tie up these two jokers and keep 'em under surveillance. - Yes, sir. - Come on. (CHATTERING) Move. Easy, Sally. Easy. We won't let these gorillas hurt you. Sorry, Dane. But I warned you about Sally. (OSTRICH BUzzES) (ELEPHANT TRUMPETS) (TRUMPETS) (ROARS) Toto, the respiration rate is weak. (TRUMPETS) Toto, hand me that otoscope. (ROARS) Oh, Clarence, I know you're worried. So am I. Wameru compound calling Dr. Tracy. This is Paula. Come in Dad. Wameru compound calling Dr. Tracy. Come in, please. Yes, Paula, I read you. What's up? Dad, Judy's in serious trouble. I have the results of the tests. Her blood pressure is 80 over 120. Her respiration rate is 7 a minute. And the EKG, well, shows a very decreased rate. The EEG... well, that's all spread out. Dad, you've gotta come back and take care of Judy. Paula, your eyes must be playing tricks on you. Why, those readings would mean that Judy must've been under tremendous strain for quite a while. Dad, I'm worried about Judy. She fell asleep before I could give her a sedative. Oh, well, honey, I don't think there's anything to worry about. You know, very often after a traumatic experience such as a leopard attack an animal will fall into a deep sleep. No, I think she'll be fine just as soon as she wakes up. (PAULA): Well, I hope so. How's the search for Sally coming? Well, Hedley and I are on the outskirts of Watuba village. Hold on a second. Here he comes now. The chief said he heard drums from the Cayuba Gorge section saying that a giant silver bird with red, white, and blue feathers - came out of the sky. - Hey, Paula, did ya hear that? Well, that could be the spaceship with the NASA parachute. Yes, we're gonna go check it out. Oh, Dad, I haven't been able to get in touch with Jack or Mike. They seem to be out of my range. Don't you think you and Hedley should go looking for them? Oh, don't worry, honey, they can take care of themselves in any situation. Everything's gonna be all right, Sally. All right. Now then, Sally, did this little interruption upset you? (CHATTERING) Ok, Sally, then we'll get back to your tests. Well, excuse me, Doctor, Sally have you ever seen those two clowns before? So help me, Judy, you've seen the last banana in your life, you two-timing little rat! When we get you back to Wameru, you'll get solitary confinement in a cage. The second I get my hands free I'm gonna wallop the daylights outta you. (SCREECHING) Sally! Captain, Sergeant, quick, before she gets lost. Hey, Captain, get these ropes off us. We'll help you find her. After what you threatened? You'd probably kill her. Hey, there she is. Judy. Come here. (CHATTERING) - Come on. - Come on, Judy. That's a good girl. Now come on. Untie these ropes. Come on, Judy, get these ropes off. No, Judy, you're not the world-famous astro-chimp. You're just plain, old-fashioned, smart-aleck Judy from Wameru. For Pete's sake, Judy, you're not Sally. Sally is obviously an intelligent, superior, well-behaved animal, and you're just a spoiled little brat. Jack, do you suppose something has happened to Judy and she really believes she's Sally? She could be suffering from some kind of nervous disorder. The only thing she's suffering from is a sense of misplaced grandeur. Judy, honey, come on over here and untie Jack, and you get a great big banana. Two bananas? (CHATTERING) Ok, Judy, you win. Now, if you untie us, there'll be no punishment. I promise. (SQUEAKS) All right, Judy. You've had your fun. Now untie us before those soldiers get back. (CHATTERING) Oh, now where's she going? She's making like an astro-chimp. What else? What else. Oh, here they come. We couldn't find her. Did she come back? - Yes. She came back. - She went that-a-way. Oh, wise guy, huh? Hey, fella, are you and American citizen? Of course I'm an American citizen. Well, I'm gonna see that your passport's revoked and that you're shipped back to the States. Captain, she really is our chimp. Look, I don't know what your game is. Are you trying to get publicity for your compound? Is that why you scared Sally away? Forget about them. How do we get Sally back? It's very simple. Mike and I know this country. - You don't. - No matter what you think, there's a missing chimp out there. We can help find her. Captain, I'm afraid they make sense. Our first responsibility is to find Sally. Well, ok, we'll release them. You guys better remember-- anything happens to Sally, you're gonna be responsible, you get that? Believe me, Captain, we're just as concerned - about that chimp as you are. - Yeah, well, we'll see. Hey, no guns. It's just a dart rifle, Captain. Here. Look for yourself. (CHATTERING) (ROARS) (JUDY SCREECHING) - Got it? - Yep. There we are. Now I'll secure the tarpaulin, and then I'll call one of my men to stand guard over it. Ok. I'm gonna check in with Paula. Marsh Tracy calling Wameru. Paula, do you read me? - Come in. - Wameru. Go ahead, Dad. Paula, we found the space capsule and Sally's spacesuit - but no helmet. - Well, Dad, where's Sally? Well, frankly, I'm worried. She's been wandering around in the bush this long, anything could've happened. Incidentally, how's Judy doing? Dad, Judy's pulling a Rip Van Winkle act. She keeps sleeping continually. Ah, she's probably just all worn out, honey. Or she might have picked up a virus infection or something so the rest can do her good. Have you heard from Jack and Mike? Not a peep out of them. I can't even reach 'em - on the walkie-talkie. - Neither can I. Well, maybe they got a lead on Sally. I hope so. Well, I don't envy them trying to find one chimp in the bush. Well, let's just hope that she has that space helmet on. (CHATTERING) (GROWLS) They're making too much noise. We have to get rid of them. We could tranquilize 'em with a couple of darts. Most impractical. I've got a better idea. Oh? - Gentlemen. - Yeah. We're now entering dangerous terrain. This area is filled with giant pythons. Bone-crushing gorillas, rampaging elephants. And there are poacher's pits and snares with poison spears all over the place. Mean they're booby-trapped? (ANIMAL GROWLS) It's a leopard. Around here? He's probably lost and hungry. Thinks he has supper up that tree. Over there. That's Sally he's got treed. Ok, fellas, let's get that leopard. Wait a minute. This is leopard territory. A gunshot could bring on 30 or 40 more of them. Yeah. Five of us could never handle that many deadly leopards. But what about Sally? As long as she's in the tree, she's ok. Jack and I will tranquilize the leopard. Quietly. Ok, we'll keep you covered. Sergeant, you follow right behind Mr. Makula. Captain, I think it might be safer for all of us if you gentlemen stayed under cover. Look, we just wanna help. What difference does it make what we do? The difference is we're using tranquilizer darts. You're using real bullets. I have no desire to be a battle casualty. Come on. Well, now, what have we here? Who is that fancy looking chimp? Why it must be Sally, the world-famous astro-chimp. - What are they doing? - Sergeant, we're moving in. Hold it. Well, if that's the case, we better keep pretty far away from her. Yes. They might shoot us if we touch her. She's valuable government property. (GROWLS) Hey, I can see her face better now. (CHATTERING) She doesn't look like Sally. Are you Sally? (CHATTERING) Well, since it's Judy, we'd, uh, better take care of that leopard. Uh-huh. Be my guest. (GROWLS) (YOWLS) Ok, nut. Come on down. Very nice work with that leopard, fella. Thank you. That's a handy gun to have around. Mr. Dane, I'm sorry that we doubted you. We heard her confession. But if this is Judy, where is Sally? Uh, beats me. (THUDDING) Judy, stop that. The least you can do is show them you're sorry. Thank you, Judy. Now all you have to do is tell me where Sally is. (CHATTERING) You had the helmet. You must know where she is. (VEHICLE APPROACHING) Look, Marsh. The missing space helmet. Judy. What's going on here, anyway? Well, that, Marsh, is a bit of a story. At any rate, this is Dr. Alison and Captain Stedman of the American consulate. Sergeant McEvoy. How do you do? They've been out looking for Sally. Well, I certainly hope Judy hasn't caused you any trouble. Oh, no. No trouble at all. She merely convinced us that she was Sally the astro-chimp. With this helmet on I can understand how you could've made that mistake. Yes, now we're right back where we started from. Unless we can get Judy to help us to find Sally. (CHATTERING) Gentlemen, I think I have a pretty good idea where Sally is. You have nothing to worry about. She's safe and in good hands. Chin up. That's a girl. Fine. And again. And once more. That's fine. Well, Sally is in splendid shape. Thank you, Miss Tracy. Let me see the results of the tests. Sure. (PAULA): All I did was follow Dad's instructions. Well, I have to admit, young lady, that I gave you those instructions just to keep you busy. Luckily they were the right things to do. Well, I felt something was different. But if this is Sally, then where's Judy? (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) Now, look at that, Doctor. Judy really is sorry. She wants to give Sally her favorite doll. (CHUCKLES) I'm sorry, Judy, that's government property. The scientists back at Cape Kennedy want to study it. (CHATTERING) I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll send you a brand-new one. How 'bout that? Ok? Miss Tracy, I'm going to see that NASA sends you a special letter of commendation. You made just the kind of diagnostic tests that were required. We couldn't have done better ourselves. Actually, Clarence is the one who deserves the letter. After all, he saved Sally from that leopard. I'm afraid we're overlooking the really heroine of this recovery program, and that is Judy. If Judy hadn't found Sally, Sally could've been taken by a predator in the bush. By Jove, that's right. If you chaps are going to commend anyone it ought to be our little Judy. Yes, she's a clever little person. I mean, chimp. She certainly made monkeys out of us. Judy, how would you like to come back to America with us and train to be a real space chimp? (CHATTERING) I'm afraid you lost a volunteer. (ELEPHANTS TRUMPETING) (ROARS) (CHATTERING) (PURRS) ♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ (English - SDH) All clear ahead, Captain. The sensors indicate zero register. Forward readings, Mr. Spock. Gravimetric reading-- no significant change, zero space density. Ahead warp factor 3, Mr. Sulu. Colony Beta 6 wants their supplies. We'll get across this void in a hurry. Void, stardust-- The word conjures up pictures of dunes, oases, mirages. Sunlight, palm trees. We're 900 light-years from that kind of desert. The precise meaning of the word desert is a waterless, barren wasteland. I fail to understand your romantic nostalgia for such a place. It doesn't surprise me, Mr. Spock. I can't imagine a mirage ever disturbing those mathematically perfect brain waves of yours. Thank you, Dr. McCoy. Moving on schedule into quadrant 904. Beta 6... is eight days distant. Something, Mr. Spock? Unusual, Captain. I'm now getting a sizable space displacement reading. - Can you verify that, Navigator? - No, sir. Forward sweeps are negative. Wait. Verified, sir. We must be in some sort of light warp or we would have picked it up earlier. Put it on visual. Iron silica body, planet size-- magnitude 1-E. We'll be passing close. Inconceivable this body has gone unnoted on our records. And yet, here it is. No time to investigate. Science stations, gather data for computer banks. Uhura, notify the Discovery on subspace radio. A strong interference on subspace, Captain. The planet must be a natural radio source. Let's get out of its range. Veer 40 degrees to starboard, Mr. Sulu. 40 degrees. Sulu! Mr. Spock, they're gone! Emergency! Full reverse power! Space-- the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission-- to explore strange new worlds... to seek out new life and new civilizations... to boldly go where no man has gone before. Ship 's log- - Stardate 2124.5. First Officer Spock reporting for Captain James Kirk. We are orbiting the lone unrecorded planet in the star desert. For four hours, we have made every possible instrument sweep, but Captain Kirk and Helmsman Sulu remain unaccounted for. I have placed the ship on red alert. We've searched again from stem to stern. If they're not down on that planet, they're now here. No sign of human life on the surface, sir, unless the instruments aren't functioning. Function is normal. Continue sensor sweeps. Lieutenant Uhura, have you checked all wave bands? All of them. No response. With due respect, sir, request permission to transport to the surface and carry out search. I second DeSalle's request. What are we waiting for? The decision will be mine, Doctor. I have the responsibility for your safety. Mr.Jaeger, describe your geophysical findings for the surface below. No detectable soil or vegetation, extremely hot, toxic atmosphere swept by tornadic storms, continuous volcanic eruptions, deadly to any life-forms such as we know it without oxygen and life-support systems. Estimate survival time of two unprotected individuals down there. Not very long. Mr. Spock... look. "Greetings... and felicitations." Hmm. Send this, Lieutenant. U.S.S. Enterprise to signaler on planet surface. Identify self. [ Beeping ] "Hip-hip... hoorah"? And I believe it's pronounced... tallyho. Some kind of a joke, sir? I'll entertain any theories, Mr. DeSalle. Any at all. One thing is certain. Obviously there's life on that planet. You're quite correct, Doctor. Prepare transporter room. Request assignment to the search party, sir. No, Mr. Scott. Neither you nor I can be spared here. Mr. DeSalle, equip the landing party with full communications, armament, and life-support gear. Mr.Jaeger, your geophysical knowledge may be crucial down there. Dr. McCoy will accompany. If those peculiar signals are coming from Captain Kirk or Lieutenant Sulu, their rationality is in question. Dismissed. [ Uhura ] No more messages from below, sir, but I've locked onto their original source. Very good. Transmit coordinates to Mr. Scott. Once on the planet's surface, you'll establish contact with us immediately. Use the laser beacon if necessary. Ready, Scott? Ready, Mr. Spock. Activate. Where are your storms,Jaeger? Atmosphere... exactly the same as ours. [ Communicator Beeps ] DeSalle to Enterprise. DeSalle to Enterprise. It doesn't function. We're cut off. [ Communicator Beeps ] No response. Keep trying with yours. [ Beacon Whistles ] Something's blocking the beacon. Got to find open ground. Jaeger! McCoy! In the name of heaven, where are we? Look. [ Tricorder Sounds ] There's no reading. They're like waxworks figures. [ Harpsichord Plays ] I must say, they make a perfectly exquisite display pair, but I suppose you want them back now. Where are we? Welcome to an island of peace on my stormy little planet of Gothos. What happened? Fill me in. You disappeared from the bridge after Sulu. We've been looking for you for four hours. You must excuse my whimsical way of fetching you here, but when I saw you passing by, I simply could not resist. I'm Captain James Kirk of the United Starship Enterprise. Ah, so you're the captain of these brave lads. My greetings and felicitations, Captain. So good ofyou and your officers to, uh... drop in. Absolutely smashing. Who are you? Where do you come from? General Trelane, retired. At your service, sirs. My home is your home. We've lost contact with the ship, Captain. We're trapped here. I can't tell you how delighted I am to have visitors from the very planet that I've made my hobby. Yes, but according to my observations, I didn't think you capable of such voyages. Notice the period, Captain. 900 light-years from Earth. It's what might be seen through a viewing scope if it were powerful enough. Ah, yes. I've been looking in on the doings on your lively little Earth. Then you've been looking in on the doings 900 years past. Oh, really? Have I made an error in time? How fallible of me. Oh, I did so want to make you feel at home. I'm quite proud ofthe detail. General Trelane-- Retired, sir. Just Squire Trelane now. And you may call me squire. Yes, I rather fancy that. For what purpose... have you imprisoned us here? Imprisoned? Nonsense. You're my guests. You see, I just finished my studies of your curious and fascinating society. You came by at the most propitious moment. I want to know all about your campaigns, your battles, your missions of conquest. Our missions are peaceful, not for conquest. When we do battle, it's because we have no choice. That's the official story, eh? I must ask you to let us go back. I wouldn't hear of it. You shall join me in a repast. I want to learn all about your feelings on war, killing, and conquest. Do you know that you're one of the few predator species that preys even on itself? Not yet. Put it on stun, not to kill, DeSalle. DeSalle, did you say? Un vrai Francais? My ancestry is French, yes. Ah, monsieur. Vive la gloire. Vive Napoleon. You know, I admire your Napoleon very much. This is Mr. DeSalle, our navigator... Dr. McCoy, our medical officer, Mr. Sulu, our helmsman, and Carl Jaeger, meteorologist. Welcome, good physicianer and honorable sir. Is he kidding? Und... Officer Jaeger. Ein deutsch soldat, nein? Ein, zwei, drei, wirgehen vermittels schiessgewehr. I'm a scientist, not a military man. Oh, come now. We're all military men under the skin. And how we do love our uniforms. What an interesting weapon you've got there. Do let me see it. Oh... yes. Now, let me see. How does this work? Ah, yes. This won't kill, and this will. Oh. Oh, how marvelous! Devastating! Why, this could kill millions. Who will you start with, my crew? Are we your next targets? Oh, how absolutely typical of your species. You don't understand some things, so you become fearful. Now, do let me anticipate your next question. You want to know how I've managed all ofthis. That's correct. We, meaning I and others, have, to state the matter briefly, perfected a system by which matter can be transferred to energy and back to matter again. Like the Enterprise's transporter system. Oh, a crude example of an infinitely more sophisticated process. You see, we not only transport matter from place to place, but we can alter its shape... at will. This drawing room... did you create it by rearranging matter on this planet? Quite. I see. How did you manage-- Your inquiries are becoming tiresome. I want you to be happy. Free yourself of care. Let's enjoy ourselves in the spirit of martial good fellowship. We're getting out of here. You're being quite rude. You can't go. Apparently, you need another demonstration of my authority. Yes, quite. [ Coughing ] Now, that's a sample of the atmosphere of this planet outside my kindly influence. Now, you will behave yourself here after, won't you? Or I shall be very, very angry. Captain 's Log- - Stardate 2125. 7. Science Officer Spock reporting for Captain Kirk. We have completed 14th orbit of this planet without establishing contact with our missing officers or the parties sent to find them. Subspace communications remain blocked. However, by diverting impulse power to our sensors, we have made them operable, and we have detected one small area on the surface which seems relatively stable. Aye, it's there, Mr. Spock. Peaceful as Earth, but how do you explain it? I don't, Mr. Scott. It simply exists. Artificial or a freak of nature. The fact remains that life can exist in that area. Aye, it could, but it couldn't move around much. Apply a fine tuning on our sensors. Locate any life-forms in that stable area. If we find any, it may not be our people. Affirmative. But if the captain is down there and alive, that's where he'll have to be. We'll attempt to transport up any living beings our sensors detect. Shooting in the dark? Or stand by and do nothing, Mr. Scott. And this, of course, is an array of your battle flags and pennants dating back to the Crusades, to Hannibal's invaders, the Grecian war galleys, and the hordes of Persia. Can't you imagine it, Captain? The thousands of men marching off to their deaths, singing beneath these banners. Doesn't it make your blood run swiftly? Captain... where could he possibly come from? Who is this maniac? Better say, what is he? I monitored him, and what I found was unbelievable. Not alive? Not in the way we define life. No trace. Zero. You mean... it shows he's dead? It doesn't even show that he exists at all, alive or dead. Notice the wood fire, Captain? Burning steadily, ember bed glowing, and it doesn't give off any heat at all. Fire without heat, mistaking all this for present-day Earth without taking into account the time differential. Whatever we're dealing with, he certainly isn't all-knowledgeable. He makes mistakes. Discussing deep-laid plans, I'll wager. [ Laughs ] I cannot wait to see them evolve. Trelane... we haven't planned-- Tut-tut. Do not think that I deplore your martial virtue of deception and stratagem. Quite the contrary. I have nothing but admiration for your whole species. If your admiration is genuine, you must have respect for our sense of duty. Our ship needs us. We have tasks to perform. Oh, I can't let you go now. I was getting a bit bored until you came. You must stay. I insist. For how long? Until this is over. Until what is over? Dear Captain, so many questions. Make the most ofan uncertain future. Enjoy yourself today. Tomorrow... may never come at all. Even if we wanted to stay, our companions are missing us. Yes, I must experience your sense of concern, your grief at the separation. There are 400 men and women aboard that ship. Women? Do you mean that you actually have members of the fairer sex among your crew? Oh, how charming. Ha ha. And they must be all very beautiful. And I shall be so very gallant to them. Here, let me fetch them down at once. No. No? This game has gone on long enough. Those are crucial operating personnel. You can't-- I can do anything I want. [ Communicator Beeps ] Captain, receiving a transporter signal. Transporter signal? What does he mean? You must tell me! It means, Trelane... the party's over, thanks to Mr. Spock. Wait! I won't have this! I haven't dismissed you yet. Stop! I won't have this! Everyone to stations. Report, Mr. Spock. How were our scanners able to penetrate that radiation field? They didn't, Captain. Not clearly. We beamed up all life-forms in a given area. Which means Trelane is not a life-form, or he'd be beaming through now. Prepare to warp out of here at once. Oh, Captain, I was so worried. Scotty, we're going to need every ounce of your engines. We're going to put 100 million miles between us and that madman. I'm quaking, but from laughter or terror? What was it? What was down there? Well, it was a-- Oh, forget it. Look. Where are all your weapons, Captain? Don't you display your weapons? Trelane. Don't fret, Captain. I'm only a bit upset with you, but this Mr. Spockyou mentioned, the one responsible for that unseemly, impudent act of taking you from me, which is he? I'm Spock. Oh, surely not an officer. Isn't quite human, is he? My father is from the planet Vulcan. And are its natives predatory? Not generally. But there have been exceptions. Oh, really? You will see to his punishment? On the contrary. I commend his action. But I don't like him. Get off my ship. Oh, rot! You're all going back with me. We're not going anywhere. Nonsense. I have an absolutely enchanting sojourn on Gothos planned for you all. You shan't spoil it for me. Anyway, the decor of my drawing room is much more appropriate and tasteful. Don't you agree? No. But so much more fitting, honorable sir. You... DeSalle. Oh, what primitive fury. Why, he's the very soul of sublime savagery. Trelane, let him go. We haven't even got our phasers. Yes, of course. I forget that I shouldn't frighten you too much. But I warn you, you can't provoke me again. Come, everyone. Let's forget your bad manners. Let's be full of merry talk and sallies ofwit. We have victuals to delight the palate and brave company to delight the mind. Come, Doctor, do partake. Ah, you've been, uh... quite derelict in your social duties, Captain. You haven't introduced me to the charming contingent of your crew. This is... General Trelane. Retired. But if you prefer, you may address me as the lonely squire of Gothos, dear ladies. Lieutenant Uhura of Communications. Ah... a Nubian prize. Taken on one of your raids of conquest, no doubt, Captain. No doubt. She has the melting eyes of the queen of Sheba, the same lovely coloring. And this. Is this the face that launched a thousand ships and burnt the topless towers of Ilium? Fair Helen, make me immortal with a kiss. Yeoman Teresa Ross. I believe you have met our science officer Mr. Spock. You do realize, don't you, that it's in deference to the captain that I brought you here? Affirmative. Well, I don't know if I like your tone. It's most challenging. That's what you're doing, challenging me? I object to you. I object to intellect without discipline. I object to power without constructive purpose. Oh, Mr. Spock, you do have one saving grace after all. You're ill-mannered. The human half of you, no doubt. Ah, come, my little wood nymph. Won't you dance with your swain? Give us some sprightly music, my dear girl. Oh, I don't know how to play this. Of course you do. Captain, how far do we go along with this charade? Until we can think our way out. Meanwhile, we accept his hospitality. You should taste his food. Straw would taste better than his meat, water a hundred times better than his brandy. Nothing has any taste at all. It may be unappetizing, Doctor, but it is very logical. There's that magic word again. Does your logic find this fascinating, Mr. Spock? No. "Fascinating" is a word I use for the unexpected. In this case, I should think "interesting" would suffice. You don't find this unexpected, Mr. Spock? That his food has no taste, his wine no flavor? No. It simply means that Trelane knows all ofthe Earth forms, but none ofthe substance. And if he's fallible, he can't be all-powerful, which means he has something helping him. Evidently. A machine? A device? Something which does these things for him. Ah, my dear, don't we make a graceful pair? Except for one small detail-- that dress hardly matches this charming scene. Ah, yes, that's more what we want-- the dashing warrior and his elegant lady. That mirror... it's part of his audience, his ego. He never wanders from it. Is it ego... or something else? Explain. The mirror. What? You noted he never gets far from it. I suppose it could be vanity. No, no, Mr. Spock, that's not the reason. What kind ofa machine could do these things? A machine with the ability to turn energy into matter guided by thought waves. It would have a very complex memory bank. It would be extremely sophisticated. Like a computer, only much more. Could the machine that maintains the environment in this immediate area be kept in this house? I think not. A device capable of keeping out this planet's natural atmosphere would be immense. Good. I agree. That leaves me free. Free, Captain? If I'm not mistaken, Mr. Spock, I think I can turn his lights off at the source. Don't be too upset by what you see, gentlemen. After all, his actions are those ofan immature, unbalanced mind. I overheard that remark, Captain. I'm afraid I'll have to dispense with you. You only heard part of it. I just started. Oh? Yes. I want you to leave my crew alone. Don't dance with him. Did it make you angry? Don't accept his gifts, either. I believe the dear captain's Jealous of me. I don't care what you believe. Keep your hands off her! How curiously human, how wonderfully barbaric. I've had enough of your attentions to her. Of course. That's the root of the matter, isn't it? You fight for the attention, admiration, possession of women. If it's fighting that you want, you may have it. Are you challenging me to a duel? If you have the courage. This is better than I'd planned. I shall not shirk an affair of honor. A matched set-- Just like the pair that slew your heroic Alexander Hamilton. And, Captain... I never miss. Captain 's Log, Stardate 2126. 1, delayed report-- the whole bridge crew are the unwilling guests of the creature who calls himself Trelane. We are weaponless, powerless, and our only hope of escape with the Enterprise lies in playing his games. I've decided to make my move with the field-of-honor game, and everything depends on my one chance with the ancient dueling pistol. Oh, how fascinating. I'm party to an actual human duel. Ready? Quite ready, sir. We shall test each other's courage, and then... and then we shall see. Let's get on with it. As you will, sir. Honor will be served, eh? Oh, wait! As the one challenged, I claim the first shot. We shoot together. It's my game and my rules, but if you need to be persuaded... All right. Captain... And now, Captain, how do you have the expression? My fate is in your hands. You've ruined everything! The machine. [ Communicator Beeps ] Subspace interference is clearing. Try to contact the ship. The remarkable treachery of this species. Go on, Trelane. Look at it. It's over. Your power is blanked out. You're finished. You've earned my wrath. Go back. Go back to your ship, all of you, and prepare. You're all dead men-- you especially, Captain. Trelane? Everyone, we're getting out of here, and now. This is the captain. Commence beaming up-- maximum speed. Set course for Colony Beta 6. Linking, sir. Full-power acceleration from orbit, Mr. Scott. Full power, sir. Emergency warp at the earliest possible moment, Mr. Sulu. Standing by to warp, sir. Shall I make a full report to Spacefleet Command? Not yet. They may trace our beam. Wait until we're well out of range. Can we know his range, Captain? We can take an educated guess-- at the point we entered their solar system. Still no sign of pursuit. Instruments clear, sir. Good. May I take a moment to change? Yes, I think you might. Turn in your glass slippers. The ball is over. Gladly, Captain. Hard to believe that it ever happened. Captain, we're about to warp. Large body ahead. Collision course. Hard to port, Mr. Sulu. That was the planet Gothos, Captain. Gothos! Have we been going in circles? No. All instruments show on-course. Gothos again. Hard over. Cat-and-mouse game. With us as the mouse. 90 degrees to starboard, Mr. Sulu. Turning, Captain. Now veering aftwards. 90 degrees subport, Mr. Sulu. Adjust. Turn completed and still accelerating toward the planet. Or it toward us. Decelerate into orbit. Prepare transporter room. Captain, you're not beaming down. Yes, I am, Dr. McCoy. I am going to see our playful Mr. Trelane and whatever it takes to make him give up our ship. Stand by communications. If you don't receive a message from me within the hour, Leave the vicinity at once. No turning back. The prisoner may approach the bench. Trelane. Any attempt at demonstrations will weigh against you with the court, and this time my instrumentality is unbreakable. I've had enough of your games. Oh, the absurdity of these inferior beings. "And now, Captain James Kirk, you stand accused of the high crime oftreason against a superior authority, conspiracy, and the attempt to foment insurrection." How do you plead? I haven't come to plead in your court, Trelane. Anything you might say has already been taken down in evidence against you. I've come to get back my ship. Irrelevant. We've made you angry with our will to survive? Uncalled-for. Then vent your anger on me alone. I led the others. I shot out your mirror machine. Did you think that was the only medium of instrumentality at my command? I took that chance. I'm willing to pay the price for chancing wrong. Oh, then you do admit to the charges? Yes, anything! Just allow the Enterprise to continue its journey. Uhh! You pompous-- Immaterial! Those people have done you no harm. Inadmissible! We're living beings, not playthings for your amusement. Silence! This trial is over. You are guilty. On all counts, you are guilty. According to your own laws, this court has no choice in fixing punishment. You will hang by the neck, Captain, until you are dead, dead, dead! Captain 's Log, Stardate 2126.3. First Officer Spock reporting. Still no word from Captain Kirk on the surface below us. Waiting time is almost up. I willsoon be forced to attempt departure as per instructions. Until a moment ago, I didn't think it possible, but it was. I did it. I was angry. I actually experienced genuine rage. This experiment has been successful. I'm glad you weren't disappointed. Why, Captain, you're still angry. Would that I could have sustained that moment. Ah, no matter. Do you have a last request? If you think I'm going to obediently stick my head in that noose-- You still haven't learned. You have no choice. Oh, this is becoming quite tiresome. It's all so very easy. That's your problem, Trelane-- everything's easy. It's given you a bad habit. You're not aware of it, but you have it. You don't think, Trelane. That's your problem. You miss opportunities, like your anger before and mine right now. Oh, you enjoy it, but you couldn't have accomplished it without me, and you know why? Because you're a bumbling, inept fool. Take care, now. Here you have an opportunity to experience something really unique, and you're wasting it. You want to commit murder? Go ahead, but where's the sport in a simple hanging? The sport? Yes... the terror of murder, the suspense, the fun. Oh, I'm intrigued. Go ahead, Captain. What do you suggest? A personal conflict between us-- not like the duel before, but the real thing. The stakes? A human life--mine. Oh... yes! Yes! That's the idea. Oh, then you approve? Yes, but... you can do better than that. There's still not enough sport in killing me with a sword. I know. That will be dull. We'll have to have something more fanciful. Let me see... a hunt, a royal hunt-- predator against predator. Now, you may go hide in the forest-- anywhere you like-- and I shall seek. How does that strike you, Captain? It strikes me... very well... but you'll have to make it worth my while, Trelane. Why not up the stakes? The stakes? Yes. While we're playing our game, free my ship. Let it continue on its way. In return, I'll give you a contest you'll remember. Always back to your ship. Oh, well... if it will add spice to the pursuit... I accept your terms, Captain. [ Trelane ] Remember, you must try not to let me find you too quickly. Let me notify the Enterprise that it can go. At your convenience. Enterprise... Enterprise, this is Kirk. Can you hear me? [ Static ] Get the ship away as fast as you can. I'll try and give you the time you need. Can you hear me? Aha! Enterprise... Ha ha! Captain Kirk. You must try harder, Captain. This is too easy. Enterprise... Enterprise, can you hear me? Touche, Captain. Touche. I must confess you scored first, but after all, I never played this game before. And now let's have at it again! Ha ha ha! Enterprise... Enterprise... Aha! Tallyho! Aha... You made a noble fight of it, Captain. Remember, you promised to let my ship go. But this is such sport. I must fetch all the others back to play. So this is victory. It has a sweet taste. Down, Captain-- on your knees! You haven't won, Trelane. I could run you through! But you haven't won anything. On your knees, Captain! No! Does it still taste as sweet? I order you. You've been beaten! But I'm not defeated. I order you! I order you! You broke it! You broke my sword! You've got a lot to learn about winning, Trelane. You dare to defy me! You've got a lot to learn about everything. I'll fix you! You cheated! You haven't played the game right. I'll show you! [ Woman's Voice ] Trelane! No! No! You said I could have this planet. [ Man's Voice ] This has gone far enough. But you always stop me when I'm having fun. You're disobedient and cruel. We've told you before. Time to come in now, Trelane. I don't want to come in, and I won't. I'm a general, and I won't listen to you. Enough, Trelane. Come along. But why? I didn't do anything wrong. I was just playing. We said come along. But I haven't finished studying my predators yet. This is not studying them. If you cannot take proper care of your pets, you cannot have them. Aw, but I was winning. I was winning. They're beings, Trelane. They have spirit. They're superior. No, no. You saw. You'll grow up, Trelane. You'll understand. Now come along. Aw, but you said I could. You promised. I never have any fun. Stop that nonsense at once, or you'll not be permitted to make any more planets. Aw, but you saw. I was winning. I would have won... honest. No, Trelane. No, Trelane. I would have. I would have. I would have. I would. I would. I would. I would. Captain, we regret that the life paths of yourself and your companions have been disturbed. Who are you? Who is Trelane? You must forgive our child. The fault is ours for indulging him too much. He will be punished. We would not have let him intercept you had we realized your vulnerability. Forgive us, Captain. We will maintain your life-support conditions while you return to your ship. Please accept our apologies. Captain to Enterprise. Captain to Enterprise. [ Spock ] Captain, we're receiving you. Beam me up, Mr. Spock. We're free to go. Warping down, Captain. Our warp factor--4. Approach channels clear, Captain. Colony Beta 6 clears us for normal approach, sir. Normal orbit approach procedures, Mr. Sulu. Captain. Still thinking about Trelane, is that it? For the record, how do we describe him-- pure mentality, force of intellect, embodied energy, superbeing? He must be classified, sir. God of war, Mr. Spock. Well, I hardly find that fitting. Then a small boy, and a very naughty one. It will make a strange entry in the library banks. He was a very strange small boy. He was probably doing things comparable to the mischievous pranks you played when you were a boy. Mischievous pranks, Captain? Yes-- dipping little girls' curls in inkwells, stealing apples from the neighbors' trees, tying cans on-- Forgive me... Mr. Spock. I should have known better. I shall be delighted, Captain. You'll enjoy Commodore Travers. He sets a good table. I wonder if he brought his personal chef along with him to Cestus III. Probably. Rank hath its privileges. How well we both know that, huh? Scotty. - Kirk here. - Travers, Jim. We're waiting. Good, commodore. We're on our way. Be sure to bring along your tactical people. I've got an interesting problem for them. We'll beam down immediately, commodore. Kirk out. Captain, I wonder why he's so insistent that our tactical aides come down. This colony is isolated, exposed, out on the edge of nowhere. He probably wants additional advice. Perhaps, captain, but nevertheless, I... Spock, isn't it enough the commodore is famous for his hospitality? I, for one, could use a good nonreconstituted meal. Doctor, you are a sensualist. You bet your pointed ears I am. Ready whenever you are, captain. Energize. - Kirk to Enterprise. Red alert. - What is it, captain? Cestus III has been destroyed. Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: To explore strange, new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilisations, to boldly go where no man has gone before. Full alert. Tricorder readings, Mr. Spock. Life detection. Those messages we got, captain, the one directing us here yesterday... Faked. All this happened several days ago. Lang, over there. Look for survivors. Kelowitz, that way. O'Herlihy, stick with me. Captain, impulses that direction. Very weak, possibly a survivor. Come on, Bones. Captain's log, stardate 3045.6. The Enterprise has responded to a call from Earth observation outpost on Cestus III. On landing, we have discovered that the outpost has been destroyed. Captain, over there. - Careful. - Careful. Shock, radiation burns, internal injuries for certain. He's in a bad way, captain. Keep him alive, Bones. I want to know what's been happening here. Getting another life reading, captain. - Survivors? - Not survivors. Not warm-blooded. Living creatures, but not human. Where? Azimuth, 93 degrees. Range, 1570 yards. O'Herlihy. Captain, I see something. Cover. Kirk to Enterprise. Lock on transporters. Beam us up. Captain, we're coming under attack. Unidentified ship quartering in. We can't beam you up. I've just rigged up defensive screens. Keep those screens up. Fire all phasers. Firing phasers, captain. The alien has screens up too. Take all action necessary to protect the ship. We'll hold out here. Are you under attack, captain? - We could drop screens. - Keep those screens up. Worry about us when the ship is safe. Kirk out. If they lower those screens to beam us up, they'll be open to phaser attack. We're hopelessly outnumbered here, captain. Those disrupters versus our hand phasers... We're stuck with it, Mr. Spock. We'll have to make do with what we've got. Kelowitz, Lang, flank out. Lay down fire on coordinates Mr. Spock gave you. Even if you don't see them. Keep your heads down. Helpless down here. And the Enterprise... Sulu is an experienced combat officer, captain. It's my ship, Mr. Spock. I should be there. - We can't even get at them. - Nor can they at us, at the moment. Not unless they move their original position. That intervening high ground. You remember the layout of this place? The arsenal? About 100 yards in that direction. But after an attack as thorough as this one... I'll risk it. Kirk here. Report. Captain, are you all right? Never mind about me. What about the ship? We returned fire with all phaser banks. Negative against its deflector screen. - Arm your photon torpedoes. - Aye, aye, sir. Arm photon torpedoes. Stand by. Any identification on the attacking vessel? No, sir. Doesn't correspond with any configuration we're familiar with. We can't get visual contact. She's too far away. Mr. Sulu, photon torpedoes locked on. Photon torpedoes locked on, captain. Fire all banks. All banks fired, sir. Sulu. Sulu, our communications are being interfered with. Now, get this straight: Do anything you think necessary to protect the ship. Leave orbit, maximum warp, anything. Clear? Clear, captain. But you... Never mind about me. Protect my ship. Yes, sir. Photon torpedoes negative, captain. I'm warping out of orbit. Good. Contact me when you can. Kirk out. How is he, doctor? He'll be dead in half an hour if we don't get him some decent care. They're moving. I've got to get to the captain. I've locked on to the enemy, captain. They're moving toward the high ground. They've locked on to my tricorder. Very ingenious. They fed back my own impulses and built up an overload. We'll see how ingenious they are. Here, give me a hand with this grenade launcher. Lang! Any word from the Enterprise? Sulu's taken her out of orbit. They got Lang, sir. - Did you see them? - No, sir. An evaluation, Mr. Kelowitz. Where do you think they are? If I were them, I'd go to the high ground on the right. I'd make it 1,200 yards. Azimuth 87. It's pretty close for one of these little jewels, captain. It will be a lot closer to them. Stand clear. - Kirk here. - Captain, the alien is withdrawing. She's at extreme range, but our sensors indicate she just activated her transporters. Lock on to the alien, Mr. Sulu. I don't wanna lose her. Aye, aye, sir. Our screens are down. We can beam you up now, sir. I want a search party of 30 medical personnel beamed down immediately to search for survivors. Notify the Transporter Room. Lock on to us. We're beaming up. Aye, aye, sir. Captain's log, supplement. We have beamed back to the Enterprise and immediately set out in pursuit of the alien vessel. It appears to be headed towards a largely unexplored section of the galaxy. Can you tell me what happened? Scanners reported a ship approaching. We get them now and then. They're all welcome to use our facilities. You know that, sir. They came in, space normal speed, using our regular approach run, but they knocked out our phaser batteries with their first salvo. From then on, we were helpless. We weren't expecting anything! Why should we? We didn't have anything anyone would want! Easy, easy. They poured it on like... Like phasers, only worse, whatever they were using. I tried to signal them. We called up, tried to surrender. We had women and children. I told them that. I begged them. They wouldn't listen. They didn't let up for a moment. Lieutenant, the Enterprise received two messages, ostensibly from Cestus III. One for the Enterprise to go there and the other for myself and my tactical crew to beam down to the surface. They hit us a full day before you got there, captain. No messages came from us, captain. Why did they do it? Why? Why did they do it? There has to be a reason. - There has to be a reason! - It was a trap. Getting the Enterprise to come to Cestus III. Getting us and our whole crew to come ashore. Very clever. As to the reason... The reason is crystal clear. The Enterprise is the only protection in this section of the Federation. Destroy the Enterprise, and everything is wide open. You allude to invasion, captain, yet positive proof has not... I have all the proof I need on Cestus III. Not necessarily, sir. Several possible explanations come... How can you explain a massacre like that? No, Mr. Spock, the threat is clear and immediate. Invasion. Very well, then. If that's the case, you must make certain that the alien vessel never reaches its home base. I intend to. If we can keep them in the dark as to our strength, they'll never dare move against us. - Captain to helmsman. - Sulu here, sir. - Is the alien still making warp 5? - Affirmative, sir. - Initiate warp 6. - Affirmative, sir. Overtake. Phaser banks. Lock on to the enemy vessel. Stand by for firing orders. All hands, this is the captain. We are going into battle. All hands, battle stations. Red alert. I repeat, red alert. This is no drill. This is no drill. Captain's log, stardate 3046.2. We are in hot pursuit of the alien vessel which destroyed the Earth outpost on Cestus III. - Mr. DePaul? - Yes, sir. Position. Twenty-two-point-three parsecs beyond latest chart limit, sir. All scanners lock into computer banks. I want a complete record of this. Mr. Spock. What do we have on this general area? Virtually nothing, captain. No records of any explorations. There are rumours of certain strange signals on subspace channels. However, none has ever been recorded. Anything on intelligent life forms? Nothing specific, captain. Unscientific rumours only. More like space legends. Security control, this is bridge. Status report. Mr. Sulu, status, alien vessel. They must be aware we're after them, sir. They've gone to warp 6 also. Warp factor 7. Aye, aye, sir. Something the matter, Mr. Spock? A sustained warp-7 speed will be dangerous, captain. Thank you, Mr. Spock. I mean to catch them. We'll either catch them, or we'll blow up, captain. They may be faster than we are. They'll have to prove it. Yes, Mr. Spock? You mean to destroy the alien ship, captain? Of course. I thought perhaps the hot pursuit alone might be sufficient. Destruction may be unnecessary. Colony Cestus III has been obliterated, Mr. Spock. The destruction of the alien vessel will not help that colony, Jim. If the aliens go unpunished, they'll be back, attacking other Federation installations. I merely suggest that a regard for sentient life... There's no time for that. It's a matter of policy. Out here, we're the only policeman around, and a crime has been committed. Do I make myself clear? - Very clear, captain. - I'm delighted, Mr. Spock. Report, Mr. Sulu. Alien ship maintaining interval, captain. Now at warp 7. Warp factor 8. Aye, aye, sir. Captain to phaser banks. All components at battle-ready. All banks primed. Aft phaser to bridge. Work status, all weapons at operational ready. - Captain? - Yes, Mr. Sulu. Closing on target, sir. Good. Mr. DePaul? - Yes, sir? - Our position? Two-two-seven-nine PL, sir. Uncharted solar system at 2466 PM. This is on the alien's course? No, sir. He's headed away from it. Captain, sensors report we're being scanned. By the alien ship? No, sir, it's from that solar system ahead. Any interference? Resistance? No, sir, just scanning beams. It's on an unusual wavelength. Mr. Spock? It would appear someone is curious about us. Mr. Sulu, is the alien still heading away from that solar system? Yes, sir. We're closing, sir. Lieutenant Uhura, anything further on those scanning beams? There's no hostility, sir. They're not tractors or weapons of any sort, just increasing in intensity. Steady. Regular. It's growing stronger, sir. - Captain! - Yes, what is it? The alien, it's slowing down. Warp 5, 4, 2. It's going sublight, sir. Sir... - It stopped dead in space. - He may be turning to fight. No, sir. They're just dead out there. Are you sure? Yes, sir. Unmoving. Then we've got him. Go to red alert. Prepare to fire phaser banks. Sensors, lock on. Mr. Sulu, continue closing. Mr. Spock, lock phasers into computers. Computers will control attack. Computer lock ready, captain. All systems standing by. Range is 1810, 1760. Range is 1700, 1640. Range is 1590, 1550 and closing, sir. Warp 6, warp 5, 4, warp 3, warp 1. Sublight, captain. We're stopped, captain. It's impossible, but... AG section. We're reading only 4.5 here. Can you confirm? It's impossible. From warp 8, have you lost your mind? Same as the alien, captain. - Engine Room acknowledging. - AG section acknowledging. Mr. Scott, report. We're dead, captain, locked up. Frozen tight. - All propulsion systems read zero. - Life systems? They're all normal, sir. Atmosphere, heat, light, no variance. Phaser banks. - Report. - We're all inoperative here, captain. No power at all. No faulty circuits I can find. Just no power. Damage control, report. All systems report normal, captain. No ascertainable damage. - Then what is it? - I don't know, sir, - but whatever it is, we cannot move. - We're being held in place, captain. Apparently from that solar system. This far out? That's impossible. We are being held. - Tractor beams? - No, sir. An unidentifiable power. We are the Metrons. You are one of two crafts which have come into our space on a mission of violence. This is not permissible. Yet we have analyzed you and have learned that your violent tendencies are inherent. So be it. We will control them. We will resolve your conflict in the way most suited to your limited mentalities. Captain James Kirk. This is Kirk. We have prepared a planet with a suitable atmosphere. You will be taken there, as will the captain of the Gorn ship which you have been pursuing. There you will settle your dispute. I don't understand. You will be provided with a recording translating device in hopes that a chronicle of this contest will serve to dissuade others of your kind from entering our system, but you will not be permitted to communicate with your ship. You will each be totally alone. What makes you think you can interfere..? It is you who are interfering. We are simply putting a stop to it. The place we have prepared for you contains sufficient elements for either of you to construct weapons lethal enough to destroy the other, which seems to be your intention. The winner of the contest will be permitted to go his way unharmed. The loser, along with his ship, shall be destroyed in the interests of peace. The contest will be one of ingenuity against ingenuity, brute strength against brute strength. The results will be final. - Just a... - There will be no discussion. It is done. He's gone. The Enterprise is dead in space, stopped cold during her pursuit of an alien raider by mysterious forces, and I have been somehow whisked off the bridge and placed on the surface of an asteroid, facing the captain of the alien ship. Weaponless, I face the creature the Metrons called a "Gorn." Large, reptilian. Like most humans, I seem to have an instinctive revulsion to reptiles. I must fight to remember that this is an intelligent, highly advanced individual, the captain of a starship, like myself. Undoubtedly a dangerously clever opponent. - Have you tried overload? - Aye, sir. It does no good. How about bypassing the transformer banks, feed the impulse engines directly? I tried that, sir. Nothing. Control to bridge, status report: All decks... Lieutenant Uhura, have sensors learned anything about the nature of the force which holds us here? No, sir. They report they definitely emanate from that solar system ahead. No indication of its composition? Gravimetric? Magnetic? Electronic? Nothing, sir. This is Captain James Kirk, of the starship Enterprise. Whoever finds this, please get it to Starfleet Command. I am engaged in personal combat with a creature apparently called a Gorn. He's immensely strong. Already, he has withstood attacks from me that would have killed a human being. Fortunately, though strong, he is not agile. The agility and, I hope, the cleverness, is mine. The Metrons, the creatures that sent us both here, said that the surface of the planet provides the raw material to construct weapons. There's very little here. Scrub brush, rocks, an abundance of mineral deposits, but no weapons in the conventional sense. Still, I need to find one. Bare-handed against the Gorn I have no chance. Leave channel one open, lieutenant, just in case. Aye, aye sir. What are you gonna do, Mr. Spock? I'm going to wait, doctor. - There's little else I can do. - What about the captain? If I could help him, I would. I cannot. Now, you're the one that's always talking about logic. What about some logic now? Where is the captain, Mr. Spock? He's out there, doctor. Out there somewhere in 1,000 cubic parsecs of space. And there is absolutely nothing we can do to help him. A large deposit of diamonds on the surface. Perhaps the hardest substance known in the universe. Beautifully crystallised and pointed, but too small to be useful as a weapon. An incredible fortune in stones. Yet I would trade them all for a hand phaser or a good solid club. Yet the Metron said there would be weapons, if I could find them. Where? What kind? This is the USS Enterprise calling the Metrons. Our channels are open. Come in, please. We urgently desire a conference. Please answer. This may be my last entry. I am almost exhausted. Unless I find the weapon the Metron mentioned, I have very little time left. Native sulphur, diamonds. This place is a mineralogist's dream. Yet there is something about sulphur. Something very old, something... If only I could remember. The ship, our engines, our weapons. It's just inconceivable that we are immobilized. But it has happened, doctor. We are the Metrons. Your captain is losing his battle. We would suggest you make whatever memorial arrangements, if any, which are customary in your culture. We believe you have very little time left. We appeal to you, in the name of civilisation, put a stop to this! Your violent intent and actions demonstrate that you are not civilised. However, we are not without compassion. It is possible you may have feelings toward your captain. So that you will be able to prepare yourself, we will allow you to see and hear what is now transpiring. If there were only some way we could contact him. Yes, indeed, doctor. If only there were. You'll notice the substance encrusting that rock. Yes. Unless I'm mistaken, it's potassium nitrate. - So? - Perhaps nothing, doctor. Perhaps everything. Earthling! Captain! Who is this? The Metron? This is your opponent, earthling. I have heard every word you have said. - All right. What do you want? - I weary of the chase. Wait for me. I shall be merciful and quick. - Like you were at Cestus III? - You were intruding! You established an outpost in our space. You butchered helpless human beings. We destroyed invaders as I shall destroy you. Can that be true? Was Cestus III an intrusion on their space? It may well be possible, doctor. We know very little about that section of the galaxy. Then we could be in the wrong. Perhaps. That is something best decided by diplomats. The Gorns simply might have been trying to protect themselves. Yes. Fascinating. Good. Good. He knows, doctor. He has reasoned it out. Yes. - Yes. - What is it, Spock? An invention, doctor. First potassium nitrate, and now if he can find some sulphur and a charcoal deposit or ordinary coal. What's he doing? Diamonds, the hardest known substance. Impelled by sufficient force, they would make formidable projectiles. What force? Recall your basic chemistry, doctor. - Gunpowder. - Captain, let us be reasonable. You have lost. Admit it to yourself. Stop running. Coal. Can he do it? If he has the time, doctor. If he has the time. No. No, I won't kill you. Maybe you thought you were protecting yourself when you attacked the outpost. No, I won't kill him! Do you hear? You'll have to get your entertainment someplace else. You're a Metron? Does my appearance surprise you, captain? Turn the cannons on them! Turn the cannons! Break them, Lo! What's happening? I can't see what's happening to my boys! What's happening to my boys? Major, give me your glasses. There's a rebel. Take him prisoner. Will you help me up, please? Sir, could you tell me what your name is? Who you are? I would like to see General Hancock. Do you know where General Hancock may be found? I'm sorry, sir. The general is down. - He's been hit. - No! Not both of us. Not all of us. Please, God. Sir, we're having a surgeon come as quickly as we can. Can you hear me, son? Yes, sir. I can hear you. Will you tell General Hancock that General Armistead sends his regrets? Will you tell him how very sorry I am? I will tell him, sir. I will tell him. General Webb, sir. Let go of the horse, Major. Major Sorrel, I said let go of the horse. Now you form up here, put fire down on them. They're coming and I'm going to meet them. Captain Goree. Come on! General, what are your orders, sir? What do you want me to do? Where do you want me to go? You've got to pull back, General. Pull back, sir. Place the guns. Bring up the guns! God! How are you, T.J.? I'm tolerable, sir. They aren't coming. Too bad. Yes, sir. General. I'll tell you plain. There are times when you worry me. No good trying to get yourself killed. The Lord will come for you in his own good time. What are the orders, sir? Prepare for defense, but the Yankees aren't coming. Come on, boys. I have the figures from Pickett's command. General Armistead is missing. General Garnett, missing and figured to be dead, sir. General Kemper is down, seriously wounded. Sir, of the 13 colonels in Pickett's division, seven are dead and six are wounded. No more. You tell me the rest later. - Major? - Yes, sir. Is that General Kemper there bearing toward us? I believe it to be, sir. General Kemper. I do hope you are not seriously injured. They tell me that it's mortal, General. I do pray God that it is not the case. Is there anything I can do? There's nothing more you can do for me. But, General Lee, will you see to it that full justice is done for my men who made this charge today? I will do so, sir. Thank you, General. Thank you, General. It's my fault. It's my fault. I thought we were invincible. Friends. It is all my fault. Hear me. Hear me, I pray you. It is entirely my fault. Hear me. Hear me. Please, friends. We must rest now. We must retire and fight again another day. And there will be another day. Meanwhile, friends, we must show good order. Never let them see you run. Do you hear me? Never let them see you run. Let us hit them again. Let us reform and hit them again. I know we can do it. God bless you, gentlemen. They're forming over there, Major. I do fear they may attack. Yes, sir. General Pickett. You may reform to the rear of this ridge and set up a defensive position. General Pickett, sir. You must look to your division. General Lee. I have no division. General... We will withdraw as soon as we have secured all those wounded or who are well enough to be moved. If we can reach the Potomac and cross over into Virginia there will be no more immediate danger. But I'll need your help, Pete. I'm so very tired. What can I do, sir? General? We must look to our own deportment. The spirit of the army is still very good. Very good indeed. We will do better another time. They do not die for us. Not for us. That at least is a blessing. If this war goes on... And it will. It will. What else can we do but go on, you and I? It's always the same question forever. What else can we do? If they fight we must fight with them. And does it matter, after all, who wins? Was that ever really the question? Will almighty God ask that question in the end? Police Department, zone one. Sergeant Roberts. The Polish Hill Strangler has claimed a fourth victim. The nude body of Arlene Dunn was recovered from the Ohio River. Police had been alerted to the crimes by the killer, who taunts them by playing the song "Little Red Riding Hood". The police brutality trial of Detective Jimmy Detillo is over. Detillo was convicted for the beating of Leon Watson. Watson remains in a coma. The key to the conviction was the testimony of Detillo's partner and cousin Thomas Hardy. Hardy testified that his partner used unwarranted force. Come on, son, we're gonna be late for the policeman's ball. - You've got to face him sometime. - I feel like an asshole. Maybe you are an asshole. You always were kind of strange. - I had you as a role model. - You got that from your mother. - I see you got the boat fixed. - Yeah, we're going out tomorrow. What's the latest on Little Red Riding Hood? We get close, he slips away. I'm telling you, Dad, it's a cop. Maybe an ex-cop. Uncle Nick thinks so, too. - Did you talk to him about Jimmy? - We talked around it. Every cop in Pittsburgh thinks I'm a rat. You're not a rat. You told the truth. Nick knows that. Yeah, we'll look where it's got me. It's tough, but you know what my dad used to say? "Loyalty above all else, except honour." We're pursuing a murder suspect. '89 Ford, dark blue, RHX715. We just crossed the 31st StreetBridge. Suspect is armed and dangerous. - Let's go. - So much for the policeman's ball. Take Bigelow. - Don't you have a date tonight? - You're my date. - What happened to that nurse? - It just didn't work out. You've got to give these things a chance, Tommy. That girl that works for Dutch is awful nice. - Is there some meaning in all this? - Grandkids. What? I'm not that grown up myself yet. - There they are. - Go down the alley. Send an ambulance to the southbound tube. We'll trap him at 2nd Ave. Captain Hardy. Get out of the car now with your hands up. - Uncle Nick. - Is this the policeman's ball? This is your last chance. Get out with your hands up. Here he comes. He drives like a cop. Pull up to him. Come on, fellas, easy. My leg! Something's wrong with my leg. - Where's Dad? - Tommy, listen... He's been shot, Tommy. The killer got away. Daddy! Jesus Christ! Look who's here. - Tommy, sorry about your father. - Thanks, Don. You just couldn't stay away. Why come to the sentencing? We've already heard your testimony. - Uncle Nick. - Hi, Tommy. - How are you feeling? - I don't know. - How's the leg? - Okay. - I don't want to be here. - You're a better man than I am. Tommy, they got the guy that killed your father. - What is this? - His name's Kesser. He couldn't even lift those women. We have an eyewitness that saw him dump a body. - Even you said it was a cop. - I said it could be. Now we have a witness that said it wasn't. - Dad, let's go in. - Sit down, I'll be right with you. Go ahead. Sit down. I'll be right in. I don't want any problems with you. Do you understand me? You should be glad we caught him. Where is he? They're going to throw the book at him, Nick. Your son or not. The criminal court of Pennsylvania is now in session. The sentencing for the State versus Detective Jimmy Detillo. The Honourable Judge Hellen Kramer presiding. - Mr. Gunther, where is your client? - We don't know, Your Honour. Jimmy... Son, listen to me. Listen to Daddy. We'll talk to them. We'll work something out. Mama went off this bridge. You remember? They never found her. Jimmy, you don't have to do this. Cops don't go to prison, Dad. I don't go! Are you gonna give him a push? - Jimmy! - Hey, Tommy. That's my partner. My flesh and blood! Come on down. You're scaring everybody. - Who's the best cop now? - You, Jimmy. Always you. Who's the best cop now? Always you, Jim. Come on down. Come on, partner. Just take my hand. Come on. Come on down. - No! - Jimmy! - You motherfucker! You did this. - Let go of him. You did this. Fuck you! No, Bob! Don't lick me with that fish breath. Hey, Hardy. RIVER RESCUE He's still on the sauce. He'll be sleeping it off somewhere. He's a fifth generation cop. He'll show. Yeah? Who wants to bet? - $20 says he don't show. - You're on. Thank you. - Tie that up for me, will you? - Hardy! I've been calling you for an hour. You missed roll call. Penderman's really pissed. You look like shit. Did you fall off the wagon? You're a fucking mess. I'm sick of taking shit for you. - What do I put in the log? - Will you get the stern line? You're a real asshole. How did I end up with you? Hardy! Get some dry clothes on, Sacco. I'll catch you on the next run. River Rescue 9221, this is base. We have a 111 one mile south of Neville Island. 10-4. Kim Lee, get Hardy. - 9221, this is base. Come in. - Go ahead. This is Penderman. Get back here and pick up Sacco. Hardy. Hardy! Malfunction on his radio, sir. Like when you shut it off. - Jeff Schultz. Where's your diver? - He fell off. Open it up. Stand back, please. Shot in the heart. Small caliber. Been in the water 48 hours. Less. 24 hours. She's been dead 48 though. Somebody held on to her a while. - Who's this guy? - Tom Hardy. - Tom Hardy? - The infamous. - Uncle Nick. - How are you? - How come you never call me? - I call, you're always busy. - Danny's back. - Where was he all this time? California, some place. - What did he say? - Nothing much. You know Danny. - How are the treating you at work? - Good. I read that Rossmore is retiring. Are you gonna be the next chief? Not me, kid. I'm just a Larimer Avenue dego. - I hear they're gonna fry Kesser. - That's what they do with killers. - I'll see you around. - Come on, let's go. When I grow up, I'd love to have a pair of shorts like that. - How's your wife, Eddie? - None of your fucking business. How would you know... You're his partner, how's his wife? Eddie's picking on me again, Uncle Nick. One of these days it's just going to be you and me! Workers discovered the nude body wrapped in a sheet. She was identified as Cheryl Putnam of Monessen. Miss Putnam, a stewardess, was abducted from her home, then taken to another location, where she was murdered. The brutal crime reminds many of the Polish Hillstranglings. There's no connection other than the victim being a white female. The Polish Hill victims were strangled, not shot at close range. - You picked the wrong house to rob. - You got nothing worth stealing. - It's been a long time. - I could've killed you. - I wanted to surprise you. - You did. Give me a drink. Why do you live on a houseboat? You and your old man should've burned this place down. - How was California? - Sunny. Sunny? You're out there two years and that's all you can tell me? "The Simpsons" are on an hour earlier. Are you still mad at me? Yeah, well, I fucked up. After that night on the bridge... I blamed you for Jimmy. Yeah, I blamed me, too. - I looked for you at the funeral. - I couldn't deal with it. An empty coffin like my mom's... The river took half my family. It never gave them back, either. I was wondering what happened to that picture. You, me and Jimmy at my dad's cabin. All going to be cops. - Brilliant idea. - Look at us now. I'm a dropout. Jimmy's dead. - And you're one of those... - Water dogs. It wasn't your fault what happened to Jimmy. He had something wrong with him. He did, like my mom. Nobody noticed it, until he beat that suspect. But I noticed it... I never did anything about it. You did the right thing. - Fuck 'em. - Fuck 'em. - So, are you back now? - I'm back. - You want to get something to eat? - No, I've got to meet a girl. Danny... Welcome home, man. HARDY-CHRISTMAN - Hey, Kim Lee. - How are you doing, Hardy? - Who's Christman? - Jo Christman. New diver. - What's he like? - Not what you'd expect. Come on in, Tom. Tom Hardy, Jo Christman. She's a police officer, a qualified diver and a paramedic. - Hi, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. - No. - Okay. - Can I ask you what he said? - No. Thanks. I hope she floats. You want to get that stern line, please? - Afternoon. - Hello. Give me the bottle. Let me rephrase that: Give me the bottle now. - You know this is a no-wake zone? - No, sir, I didn't. - Drive a little slower next time. - We have to give them a ticket. - No, we don't. - They were speeding. You better do it. I'm not sure I can stand the excitement. Sir, I need your registration. - Hardy, did you see that? - Yeah. Take the wheel. Keep heading up the river. Tell Penderman to send backup. River Rescue, this is 9221, over. Land shark. How many men upstairs? Let me rephrase that. - Two, plus a pilot. - Close your eyes. Close 'em. Where's the $200,000? I'll blow your head off. Pittsburgh Police. We have two choices here. You either put the guns down or we all start shooting. I'll shoot! Hey, man, untie us! Behind you! Thanks, Dutch. Hey, you did really good out there tonight. - Thanks, Hardy. - Really good. - Thanks. - Goodnight. - I've never had a woman partner. - Neither have I. - You guys are understaffed. - This is the new efficiency system. - See you tomorrow. - No, I'm off until Wednesday. Damn it! Hello. Who is this? Who is this? PITTSBURGH DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFTEY KESSER CHICANIS Tom, what are you doing here? Are all the bars closed? Just visiting some old friends. - You don't have any old friends. - Who'd know that better than you? Yeah, old friends. Goddamn it. Mother fucker! He was in the Polish Hill files. Hey, Tom. What are those? What is that? What? This? Nothing, just some papers. As the Italians say, "Don't scald your tongue on another man's soup." There's an Irish saying: "Never listen to Italian sayings." I knew this was going to happen. You just won't let go, will you? I can't lay down on this. My father's in a grave... - We've got the guy who killed him. - A cop killed my father! - Kesser doesn't have the brains. - He was convicted in court... - Answer me! - I'm telling you! Your father is dead and this case is closed! If you can't accept that, that's your problem. I can take that gun and that badge away from you right now. - Is that what you want? - Do what you got to do, Nick. Hardy, we're out of our patrol zone. Will you tell me where we're going? We're going to visit a friend. I'll break here for dinner. I'll be back. Right... I'll just stay here and watch the boat. - Can I get you something? - Yeah, a guy named Chicanis. I don't think I've seen him all night. Okay, tell me what you know! Who told you to lie? - Give me the names. - Don't shoot me. - Hardy, put up your gun. - Now! No, put up your gun. Hardy, damn it! This shit has got to stop. If you have a drinking problem... You were out of control. - You're already on probation. - How long have you been a cop? - How many years? One? Two? - Long enough to know the rules. Partners back each other up. You have no business telling me how partners should treat each other. - You had a gun to his head. - I wasn't going to shoot him. - I'm trying to solve a murder! - What murder? I hate to tell you this, but you're not a homicide detective any more. - 9221, this is base. Come in. - Hardy. We've got another 111. Northshore. East of Glenwood Bridge. Get the bow line. This is Hardy. We're on our way. Let's go. Now! If the kids have any bad dreams, call this number. We'll send a counsellor out. Get the kids home now. Kids, come on. Let's go home. - Why didn't you question them? - What for? - The body was dumped last night. - How do you know? I used to be a homicide detective. - Round up the usual suspects. - Keep laughing. It's a sin what he turned into. Sorry to interrupt your evening. We've got a dead nurse. You stay right here. Don't move. Absolutely, Dad. I wouldn't want to get in the way. Prick! Paula Puglusi, a nurse. Same M.O. as the Putnam woman. Guess who she used to fuck. You knew her? - Yeah. - God, Tom, I'm sorry. Does that guy you were chasing have something to do with this? - He was a witness. - In the Polish Hill case? I was one of the investigating officers. Five women were strangled. During the pursuit of the suspect my father was killed. - Chicanis said he saw the killer. - And you don't believe him? This was the case where you lost your shield. I lost my shield because I said a cop killed my father. You want to give her one more pop before they take her away? - I'll give you one more pop. - Blow it out of your ass. - Talk to the press for Uncle Nick. - That's enough. - I thought you quit smoking. - The gum didn't work. Who's she? - That's my new partner. - Not bad. - You didn't know about that? - No, why should I? Coming back to the force? See what you're missing? Tommy! - You want to get some dinner? - What did I say? - I just invited him to dinner. - Go up there! - He hasn't changed a bit. - Yeah, that's the problem. - What do you know? - We just fished out the body. Don't play games with me. I want to know what you know. You don't want to hear it. It's the same guy. - The same guy? As in Polish Hill? - Fair hair. Good bodies. These women were shot, not strangled. They had neck bruises and were bound wrist and ankle. - Eiler told me you know this girl. - A lot of guys knew her. If I didn't know better, I'd think you didn't want to solve this case. Are you a cop or not? Now you come up with this story and I'm supposed to believe you. When was the last time you saw this girl? He's putting them in the water so I'll find them. - He wants me to find these girls. - You're crazy, that's it. - He called me. - He called you? - That's right. - What did he say? - He didn't say anything. - You dreamed it. Get in your little boat and get the fuck out of here! You're an alcoholic. You need help. - Get your head examined. - Maybe you need a drink. - It'd ease the pain of being wrong. - Get out of my sight. Keep those people out of here! Am I talking to myself? Put Grandpa back on. Just a second. She sounds good. Yes. Okay, bye-bye. - Hi. - Hi. Are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine. Okay. This is it. 16 months ago. I didn't murder anybody. This witness is lying. One memeber of the police department agrees with him. Thomas Hardy made this statement to the press. I do not think Kesser is the killer. Important information was withheld. Can you tell us what that information is? Two of the women were called from police call boxes. Why didn't you say that? . A Pittsburgh cop did it! An offical police report denied Hardy's accusations. The controversy has not changed Kesser's death sentence. Airtight case. Kesser had no alibi at all. He confessed to the murder of his accomplice as self-defense. He denied the Polish Hill murders. We found evidence from the murders in his hotel room, and the gun that killed Vince Hardy. Then why does Hardy think that Kesser was framed? Kesser's fingerprints weren't on the gun. It was a police special. The serial numbers were erased. Hardy starts barking conspiracy. - He thinks the killer's a cop. - No one thought he was innnocent? Yeah, Kesser. Well, Bob, he's putting them in the Allegheny or the Monongahela. That narrows it down. This is Hardy here. Go. Hi, it's Jo. Are you going to the policeman's ball tonight? . I'm going to go. I don't really know anyone. Maybe I'll see you there. Bye. - Don't leave me out here. - One drink, real quick. What the hell is he doing here? Captain, he's here. - Hi. - Hi. You look... different. I'll take that as a compliment. - I didn't think I'd see you here. - Nobody did. Tommy, you made it. Good to see you, man. Come on, the whole family's right over here. - Dad, look who's here. - He's got Tommy with him. Let him go. Don't keep them waiting. - Tommy, good to see you, son. - Hi, Uncle Fred. - Introduce your date. - She's not my date. This is my new partner, Jo Christman. Unfortunately, these are the Hardys. My Uncle Fred. - My cousin Gary. - Don't fuck her. Tommy, you're too skinny. Come to our house to eat. She's right. You ought to quit being such a stranger. Now, I'd like to propose a toast. - To Vince Hardy. - The best Captain of Homicide ever. Vince Hardy. How about we drink to my mother? She was a Hardy, too. And Jimmy, let's drink to him. It'd be fitting here by the river. Uncle Vince is dead. They're dead, too. Drink to Jimmy! - That's enough! - No, It's not enough, damn it! - Let go of me. I'm all right. - You don't belong here. - Me and you, Eddie. - Anytime. The best day of the year. Better than Christmas! - Are these policemen all relatives? - No, they're just criminals. How did they end up on the force? Part of some nationwide negative gene pool, I guess. - Don't do that, okay? - What? That thing where you're not really talking to me. - That's not the answer. - It'll do till the answer turns up. Hey! What the fuck is the matter with you? Get out. Get out now! You want to sit around drinking and feeling sorry for yourself. What is this? You won't respect yourself until someone else does? I respect you. You've got a lot of courage. The whole department is waiting to see you fall on your ass. - You're giving them what they want. - They want to keep me silent. Stupid is almost as good. Will you go now, please? Just go home. No, I don't want to. I don't want to go home. What are you doing? What made you decide to become a cop? All the shit you've got to go through being a woman and all. When I was in college, my roommate was raped. The campus police were only interested in keeping it quiet. I knew that the guy was white and very tall. I started checking out basketball courts near the campus. From the pictures I took of the white players she identified him. - You caught the guy? - Yeah. This is the police. Pull over and stop the engine. Stop the car..! Take the wheel. This is 9221 in pursuit of a murder suspect, heading west on the railroad service road at mile 16. Suspect is armed and dangerous. - Send backup. - All units respond. Hold it steady. My God! Yep, it's definitely a rug! Way to go, Hardy, you asshole! Tommy, congratulations. We're all very proud of you. You blew up a litter bug's car and found a carpet. - It looked like a body. - Then you're in the wrong job. Let's just say that it was the killer and it was a cop. It'd be very easy for him to figure out our patrol patterns. He'd just be waiting for us to come along. He dumps the rug to make us look like morons. - Hardy... - Yes. - You should know something... - Are you really a man? - No. - Good. But I was married to one. - A cop? - Worse. A lawyer. That is worse. We have a daughter. She's four. - What's her name? - Sarah. Nice name. Thanks. Is that it? We shouldn't be doing this as partners. - We should be taken out and shot. - We should shoot each other. - Too much paperwork. - I'm serious, Tommy. Well, maybe you're in the wrong job. Tommy? STEWARDESS CHERYL PUTNAM VICTIM LOTS OF LOVE CHERYL Tommy, what's wrong? What's the matter? THIRD VICTIM IN 3 RIVERS MURDER CASE Her name was Constance Cabrizzi. I used to call her Connie. - You knew this girl too? - I took her to the prom. Amazing coincidence... me knowing all these girls. You knew about the nurse. Now you know about Cheryl. And now Connie. - You've got to tell someone. - Who? Who can I trust? I don't know how high up this goes. - What do you mean? - Say I told the wrong person. - You didn't do this. - Why? ls it an obvious frame? It's just like Polish Hill. That's right, Jo. It's the same killer! He killed those girls in '91, and my father. Now he's killing women I knew and leaving them for me to find. - You're scaring me. - It's scaring me, too. All the women in my life keep turning up dead. There is absolutely no connection between Polish Hill and this. There is absolutely no connection between Polish Hill and this. If you print that in your paper, I'm knocking you off this beat. The tip checked out. Hardy went to high school with Cabrizzi. That's two out of three. I bet we can tie him to Cheryl Putnam. - You want me to bring him in? - No, we couldn't hold him on that. We can put him under review. I'll call internal affairs. - He'll be put under surveillance. - He is under surveillance. - Close surveillance? - It doesn't get any closer. Thank you very much, Officer Sacco. I'd like to call Detective Emily Harper. Raise your right hand, please. Do you swear to tell the truth? - I do. - State your name. Detective Emily Harper. Are you a member of the Police lnternal Affairs Division? - Yes. - What was your last assignment? The assignment was to rate Officer Hardy's competence and to monitor his interest in the Three Rivers murder case. You state that Officer Hardy neglected his duties to pursue an illegal investigation into the Three Rivers murder case. To what do you attribute his unusal interest in the case? He feels the murders were committed by the Polish Hill murderer. A case he worked on. A prosecution witness in the case said that Officer Hardy threatened him. And that you were forced to protect him with your own weapon. No, that's incorrect. - I drew my weapon as backup. - Backup? Officer Hardy was not... out of control and dangerous? At no time whatsoever. Hardy is courageous and resourceful. I wish we had more officers... - Excuse me... - Don't you want my evaluation? Thank you, Detective, you may step down. Ten-minute recess. I'm sorry. - Why'd you change your testimony? - Why do you think? - You cheat good. - Hardy. Hi, Emily, it's your father. Sarah just wanted to say hello. She's enjoying her visit. We'll see you Sunday. Bye. Hi, Jo... I mean Emily. I'll never get used to that name. It took a lot of courage to do what you did at the hearing. Maybe we can talk. Call me. Bye. Yes, Bob, I know you're hungry. You're always hungry. Go catch a rat. Let's see what our friends the coastguard have for us. Let's see. Nothing up there but cabins. Jesus Christ! Bob, will you get that... This is Hardy here. Go. Jo! Kim Lee! No! Oh, God! It stops now! Hands high, Danny. Where's the girl? I know everything. - I got your note. - What note? Jesus Christ! The key to Detillo's conviction was the testimony of Thomas Hardy. Surprised? Hello, Jimmy. I got you. I got you good, didn't I? Admit it. Yeah. Yes! What a world! It's hard to believe, isn't it? I jump off a bridge. I don't die. Go figure. And you being so smart. That must be a real comfort to you at a time like this. - Jimmy. - Shut up! Shut your fucking mouth! I loved you. You're my brother and you betrayed me for him. You knew I was the best cop! Say it! - Who's the best cop? - Jimmy was the best cop! - What are you doing? - I'm sorry. Tommy, let's have a drink. Me and you. Just like the old days. Remember? Look at me when I'm talking to you. What's the matter? You're a drunk, aren't you? Drink it! Are you too proud to drink with a dead man? Maybe I should drink with your little dove. Hey. - Leave her alone, Jimmy. - Shut up! So, I'm killing all these girls... He's riding next to me wondering who's doing it. We're investigating the crimes. Me and my partner. You've been a very bad boy, fucking your new partner. Did you get fucked, honey? Well, Tommy has made a career out of fucking his partners. - Let the girl go. - Shut up or I'll kill you. - Bye-bye, Tommy. - Jimmy! I like this game. Everybody dies, and they all die with Tommy's gun. Now we've got us a game. - Say goodbye to her, Tommy. - Jimmy, don't do it! - Jimmy, no! - Say goodbye to her. Jimmy! Put the gun down, son. Please. Listen to Daddy. - Put the gun down. - What fun would that be, Dad? It's all over, son. Put the gun down. - It's just starting. - Please! I think Tommy has some questions for you. Tommy? Comments? Come on. Should I help him along, Dad? You know your dad, God bless his Irish soul... He was... How shall I put it? He was sort of killed. Tell Tommy who killed his dad. Tell Tommy. Come on, tell him! Don't move or I'll fucking kill you! Son of a bitch. Jimmy! Get up! Get up! - I'll kill you. - I'm your son. Let me go. Let me go. - Freeze! Stop or I'll shoot! - Vince, no! I'm sorry, Tommy. I never meant for any of this to happen. He was my son. But it's over now, because we're going in... together. What are you gonna do? Shoot me? Come on, shoot me. You couldn't do it before. You just don't have it in you. Shoot your own son? There goes that gold watch. A bullet proof vest! Who's the best cop now? - Come on, Jimmy! Me and you! - Go on. Run, you son of a bitch. Tommy! I just want to talk to you! Tommy, what are you making me chase you for? Come on, are you mad at me? I just shot my dad. Call me, Tommy. No, I'll call you. - Get these handcuffs off me. - Why are you handcuffed? Where's Detillo? - He's been shot! Get off! - I'm not getting off. Hardy, you son of a bitch! Get away from me! You could never beat me! You like to jump off bridges. Who's the best cop now? - Take these handcuffs off me. - Get some handcuff keys. - Do you want to take a shot at me? - No. It wouldn't do any good, Eddie. On the other hand... Hardy! You're okay. VINCENT THOMAS HARDY LOYALTY ABOVE ALL ELSE, EXCEPT HONOUR Grandkids, Dad. I am at the very centre of the great white continent, Antarctica. The South Pole is about half a mile away. For a thousand miles in all directions there is nothing but ice. And, in the whole of this continent, which is one and a half times the size of the United States and larger than Europe, there is a year-round population of no more than 800 people. This is the loneliest and the coldest place on Earth, the place that is most hostile to life. Yet, in one or two places, it is astonishingly rich. (HOWLING WIND) Penguins come here by the million and endure temperatures of minus 70 degrees centigrade and winds of 120 miles an hour. Other birds fly right to the heart of the continent, even though they have to dig away snow in order to find a place to nest. And here is the nursery for over half the world's seals. Antarctica is remote from all other continents, surrounded by the vast southern ocean and smothered by a blanket of ice so immense that it contains over 75% of the world's fresh water. All life in the Antarctic is dominated by the ice. All but 2% of the continent is covered by it. Its very whiteness reflects back what little heat there is in the sun's feeble rays, and snow, when it falls, remains permanently frozen, so that now, after accumulating for millions of years, it has formed this gigantic ice cap and the ice beneath my feet is three miles thick. Submerged beneath it are mountain ranges as high as the Alps. Only their summits project through it. Rivers of ice spill down from the ice cap as great glaciers and creep slowly towards the edge of the continent and the sea. When you get beneath the snout of one of these huge glaciers, you begin to appreciate the immense power and size of the Antarctic ice machine. The ice here towers 100 feet above me and the front of the glacier is about two miles across. But this is a small glacier. The largest glacier in Antarctica and in the world is the Lambert glacier, and that's 25 miles across. This certainly is not a place to linger. The glacier moves forward at a rate of about two-thirds of a mile a year, and the front end continually breaks away to form icebergs. If one came down now, the surge could easily overturn a small boat. These icefalls disintegrate into brash ice, but when a large chunk of a glacier or ice sheet breaks away, it floats off as an iceberg. At first, these bergs are slab-like, but winds and waves above water and currents below slowly carve them into the loveliest of shapes. A large berg can survive for up to ten years before it ultimately breaks up and melts. Only one fifth of an iceberg is above the surface. The rest is hidden beneath the water. Streams of minute air bubbles, released from the melting berg, carve grooves in its submerged flanks. Huge though bergs may be, they are nonetheless usually on the move. But come the winter, sea ice forms around them and locks them solid. As winter progresses, so more and more of the sea freezes, spreading out from the margins of the land like an immense skirt so that, in effect, the continent doubles in size. When the ice reaches its farthest extent, you have to travel hundreds of miles from the edge of the continent before you reach open water. The annual formation of the sea ice is the greatest seasonal change that takes place on this planet, and completely dominates the lives of Antarctic animals. Practically all of them depend on the sea for their food, so year-round access to it is essential for their survival. In the summer, when the sea ice melts, they can reach the islands that were trapped in the ice and eventually the continent itself. But when the ice re-forms, they have to retreat north. So now, in winter, with the sea ice at its fullest extent, it's in the sea that we must look for life. The southern ocean is extremely rich in food. Millions of penguins and seals and thousands of whales feed here. The majority of them rely on just one source of food - krill. Krill are small, shrimp-like creatures about six centimetres long. In winter, they are dispersed widely, mostly under the ice, but in summer they assemble in vast swarms, some of which may contain a billion individuals. They are the most numerous animals on Earth. Their total weight far exceeds that of the total human population. Humpback whales. During the brief summer, they gorge themselves on krill. When the krill swarms are near the surface, the humpbacks collect them by lunging. They simply open their cavernous mouths and scoop it up. Often the whales co-operate, working together as fishing boats do. When the krill is more dispersed, the whales have to dive deeper. After a while, lines of bubbles appear on the surface. The bubbles gradually form a pattern that spirals inwards. Then suddenly, in its centre, the whales appear. Time and again, the pair dive. When they reach the bottom of the dive, they start releasing bubbles and continue to do so as they swim upwards, spiralling around one another. These curtains of bubbles rise through the water, creating a ring on the surface. Underwater, the curtains drive the krill into the centre of the spiral and the humpbacks then surge up through the middle, jaws agape. The humpbacks that visit Antarctica only feed during the brief southern summer, building their reserves for a winter that will be spent in less productive northern waters. And so, for hour after hour throughout the long Antarctic day, these 40-tonne creatures perform a splendidly synchronised and very productive underwater ballet. Other creatures benefit from the whales' industry. Sea birds forage in their wake. As the whales drive the krill closer to the surface, it comes within reach of birds that are not particularly skilled in diving. Cape petrels, about the size of pigeons, can only duck-dive a few feet down. But that's enough to give them a share. 360 million sea birds constantly scour the southern ocean for food. They only go to land to breed. Most of their lives are spent on the wing, far out to sea. This ocean is rich in nutrients and very rough. Howling gales whip it into huge waves. These, with so few islands to interrupt and break them, grow and grow into some of the most mountainous seas to be found in any ocean. Birds, dispersed over its vast surface, face a huge problem in finding food, for it is by no means uniformly spread throughout the ocean. The nutrients occur in patches, and so the krill, which is sustained by those nutrients, is patchy too. But once the birds find a swarm, there is a frenzy of feeding. Krill typically spends the day in deep water, rising nearer to the surface at night. But sometimes a swarm rises during the day and then the birds get their chance. But getting to the krill is still a major problem to all birds except penguins. Albatrosses such as the black-browed, whose diet is about 40% krill, can only dive down a couple of metres at the most. Fur seals also feed out in the open ocean, but they are able to dive to 100 metres or more. The patchiness of the krill requires those that live on it to spend a great deal of time searching, and an albatross will fly hundreds, sometimes thousands of miles, on a single foraging trip. Out here, birds can't afford to be fussy, and must take whatever food they can find. Almost all of them scavenge to some extent. These birds have found the remains of a small whale. They are the crumbs left behind after a catch by killer whales. Giant petrels - the vultures of the Antarctic - soon dominate the feast. (SCREECHING) The biggest of all these scavengers is the wandering albatross. With a wing-span of over three metres, this bird can range over greater distances than any other. It needs the updraught created by waves in order to fly, and only these stormy southern waters provide that in such abundance. Throughout the winter, the wandering albatross remain in the south, for although the continent is trapped in ice, there are a few outer islands that always remain beyond its grasp, and these provide the albatross with their nesting sites. 3,000 pairs of wandering albatross nest on one of them, here in South Georgia. An adult wanderer may travel 5,000 miles - sometimes to Brazil and back - in order to collect squid for its young. This enormous chick weighs ten kilos, as much as a full-grown swan. It's the biggest of any sea bird chick. Although it's a couple of months before it has to face its first flight, it's now at its maximum weight. In fact, it's heavier even... (HE LAUGHS) ...heavier than the adult. The spring snows are now beginning to melt, but the chick has already faced the worst of the winter weather. Hatched last March, it has sat here on its nest mound unprotected and unshielded for eight months while the temperatures may have fallen to minus 10 degrees and terrible storms raged. It's so big that it can't possibly grow to this very huge size in the short summer season. So the parents have to come to feed it every three or four days for 10 months. In order to do that, they have to be able to reach the open sea. Only one other animal breeds throughout the year on the outer islands - King penguins. They also need continuous access to the ocean to collect food for their chicks. Throughout the winter, adults come and go from their traditional breeding colonies. (DIN OF SQUAWKING) Antarctica is home to two million Kings. In this one colony alone, there are 600,000 of them. These engaging chicks are so inquisitive that you only have to sit down to their own level for them all to gather round you and try and discover what sort of creature you are. They were hatched last summer and, like the albatross chicks, they're coming to the end of their first winter. During that period, their parents were out to sea catching food for them, but each chick was only fed about once every three weeks. Left to themselves for so long, they've all gathered together to form immense crèches. This one contains about 50,000 chicks. You might think that this huge congregation would make it almost impossible for a parent returning with food to find its own chick. Not so - the fact is that parent and chick can recognise one another's voice. (DIN OF CALLS AND WHISTLES) A returning adult may spend hours looking for its chick among such a crowd, for the young are inclined to wander. The chick will respond to its parent's call and the parent to the chick's whistle. Eventually they meet... (CHICK WHISTLES VERY LOUDLY) ...but instead of feeding the chick straight away, the adult leads it through the rookery, as if to test the bond between them. At last, in response to its chick's plaintive entreaties, the parent regurgitates a meal of squid. A King penguin chick takes more than 12 months to rear, so the adults can't breed annually. At best, they raise two chicks every three years. Because of this, the breeding cycle of any one pair slides out of phase with the seasons. So now, late in winter, there are chicks both young and old and adults at different stages in their cycle. Some of the adults are going through their pre-breeding moult before going to sea to fatten up for courtship. Others are already courting, parading back and forth with a special ritualised walk. The male usually leads. If the female is sufficiently impressed, the pair seal their relationship with a vocal duet. (MALE AND FEMALE TAKE IT IN TURNS TO CALL) King penguin rookeries are very busy places. Every morning at about six o'clock, the adults leave their chicks, cross the glacier stream and march down to the sea. They like to take an early morning bath, getting rid of the smelly mud and grime of the crowded colony. For an hour or so, they wash in the surf. These penguins seem to have a fairly easy time of it, surrounded by an ocean laden with food and with year-round access to their breeding beaches. But they are one of the few of Antarctica's inhabitants to achieve independence from the factor that governs almost everything else - the advance and retreat of the sea ice. King penguin and albatross live only on the frontier of the Antarctic. They never go closer to the pole than the edge of the sea ice. Next week, we will. As spring really takes hold, we will follow the retreating sea ice to the shores of the continent and go up to the great ice cap, to the very heart of the Antarctic, where life in the freezer faces its greatest challenge. Wise men say Only fools rush in But I can't help Falling in love with you Shall I stay Would it be a sin If I can't help What are you looking at? Not much. Get out, you stupid bitch! Don't call me a bitch! I'm gonna batter you! Aah! You're dead! You better not touch me, Sonny Curley! I've witnesses! What did you do to him? Nothing! I just gave him a piece of advice! I dare ya. I bleeding' dare ya. I told him to stop fiddling' with himself... when he thought there was no one looking! I'll batter you! Sorry. You'll have to make an appointment. You're dead! Is that a fact? Very interesting. Shut up! You're dead. I'm telling Ma! If you tell Ma... Where you going? Piss off! Don't! You're what? You heard me. Oh, my Jesus. You're pregnant, you said? Yeah. That's lovely, that is. You sure? Yeah. Sort of. - What? - Yeah. Positive now? You're only nineteen. - I'm twenty. - You're only twenty. I know what age I am. Don't start getting snotty with me. I should be getting snotty with you. Sorry. It's shocking, that is. What do you think? - I don't know. - That the best you can do? Well, what do you think? I don't know. I should give out, I suppose... or throw a wobbler or something... but what's the point? I mean, if she was... You should have come to us earlier. Before, you know, when... said you were gonna get pregnant... then we could've done something about it. My God. You're positive, now? Absolutely certain? Shh. Molly, my Irish Molly Good girl. What's that on your face? Shaving foam. Oh. Well, fair enough. My Irish Molly, when you are near Who was it? What? I don't know. Ah, now, Jesus... - No, I do know. - Well? I'm not telling. Now, look... Jesus, do you hear that? Gobshite! Now, don't start that. Just tell us. - I can't. - Why not? - I just can't, right? - Well, is he married? No, he's not. Well, that's something I suppose. Ah, Kay... Jesus, stop it, will you? The music getting to you, is it? They're inside watching the telly. Go on, get in there. Go. Get in. Go on. Will he marry you? No, I don't think so. Ooh, the Iouser. That's cheatin', that is. - It's not a game. - I know that, Kay. I mean, it's his fault as much as Sharon's... isn't it, whoever he is. I mean, it was his flute that... You've the filthiest mouth! Ah, lay off, Kay, will you? I'm being harassed! You just move! Look, do you want to keep it? What do you mean? Do you want to... He wants to know do you want an abortion? I do not! There's no way I'm having an abortion! Good, you're right! You definitely won't tell us who it is? No! Sorry. Well, there's no more to be said, is there? She's obviously made her mind up. A man needs a pint after all that. Hang on a second. Yes, love? Is that all? What do you mean? It's a terrible... the neighbors! Do you care what the neighbors think? Yes, I do. Sure, the O'Neill young ones are after having kids. The pair of them. And the Bells would be the same... except they don't have any daughters... but you know what I mean. Tara O'Neill had her baby for Paddy Bell. Of course she did. So fuck the neighbors. You coming for a drink, Sharon? - No, thanks, Da. - Come on. All right. Good girl. How about you, Kay? Ah, no. I'll slip on up to bed. I'd come up with ya... only I've an awful throat on me. Cheerio now... Grannie. Ohh, Molly My Irish Molly My sweet acushla dear I'm fairly off my trolley My Irish Molly, when you are near Still think you should tell us who the da is. You can think away, then. Your mummy took it very well. Yeah. She was great. She's a bit old-fashioned, you know. Set in her ways. Yeah. No, she was great. So were you. Ahh. Those your pals over there? Yeah. Go on over to them. I'll be all right on me own. Ah, no. Go on. You might as well. I'll be grand. I can always slip downstairs. I was so embarrassed, I was scarlet. I'm not joking yous, I was burnin'! How are yous? - Go on. - How are you, Sharon? He was holding the eclair in his hand like this. The place was full, and he says... "Why did you rob the cream out of me eclair?" - The head on him, Jesus! - And did you rob it? Well, I paid for the bleedin' thing. Why shouldn't I have? I told him to cop on. "I seen ya," he says, "with your finger." So I gave him the finger. I'd shag the elephant man before I'd let him near me again. The prick. Here, young fella! Give us three vodkas, two cokes, and a glass of Furstenberg. Have you got that now, chicken? Hey, handsome, give us a packet of crisps as well, will ya? And do you have any nuts? Whoo! You dirty bitch! I'm only messing with you. He's a nice little bum on him... like two eggs in a hankie. He'll be nice-looking when he's older, won't he? Are you going to break it off with him anyway? Yeah. I was giving the matter my serious consideration. Then when I saw him sulking, Jesus! He was very good-looking, though. Very handsome. Not really, Mary. Not when you got up close to him. Beauty's only skin deep. It wasn't even that deep, Mary. He'd loads of little spots on his chin. Tiny, little ones, now. Millions of them! Only noticed 'em when you were right up against them... then you want to throw up. He was thick as well. Come here, Jackie. Was he passionate? No! But he thought he was. You know what I mean? He was just a big, thick monkey. Looking for somewhere to stick his banana, what? Ha! Yvonne Burgess! He stuck his tongue in me ear once... and I'm not joking yous. He was trying to get it out the other one. Don't know what he thought I had in there. His sense of direction wasn't the best, either. - Know what I mean? - Jackie O'Keefe! You're bleedin' disgusting, you are! Any news, Sharon? No. Not really. "Then the discharge... "becomes yellow and offensive. "Any infected discharge... "may also result in soreness... "or actual irritation... "at the entrance of the vagina." Jesus, me fanny! "It's only the unfortunate few... "who suffer severe nausea... "or recurrent vomiting." Sharon, it's not fair! You've been in there ages! Get out of there. You leave Sharon alone. You all right in there, Sharon? Yeah. Coming. Ah, no, no. There's no hurry. No, I've been in already. Ohh... Jesus, what were you drinking last night? I'm going back to bed. Ah, yeah, go on. Good girl. I'll go on without you, what? - What's up with her? - You shut your mouth. Get in there and get your clothes on. Go down to get your breakfast... and get a bleedin' job for yourself, right? Sharon, we're going to have to tell them. Stop it, will yous? Keep it... here, give me that. Hey! Shh! Now... stop it. Are yous all listening? I'm in hurry. Will you get on with it? Shut up! He has to sit on the wall all day and do nothin'. You go and shite you, you stupid bitch... what? Don't you "what" me, Sonny Curley. No language like that in this house. - Exactly! - Don't start, you. - You never hit her! - I do so! I'm not taking this! Have a nice day! You better watch yourself... or you'll find yourself... packing your shampoo and spot creams. I'm sorry, you'll have to discuss it with my solicitor. Don't you start. Now... Sharon has a bit of news for yous. I can't help it. I'm sorry, Sharon. Go on, love. I'm going to have a baby. - That's massive, Sharon. - Is that all? Women, what? Right. Where's your bump? They'll drive Sharon spare. That's a weed there. Look. She belched there, inside with the telly. Kimberley asked her if she was gonna have the baby. I don't know. It's hard to believe you can get so much shite... out of only one dog, isn't it? - Dessie? - Huh? Do you not think we should tell the girls... what Sharon did was wrong? What? I don't mean turn them against her or anything... Or the baby, remember. - Yes, I know that. But... - What? I think we should tell them. Without, you know... I think we should tell them... that it's better to be married if you're pregnant. Jeez, they're a bit young, aren't they? I mean, Lisa, maybe. You'll need a shears for that. What were you thinking of telling them? Do you think we should? Whatever you think yourself, Kay. I'm only their da. They'll laugh at me. Times have changed. Jesus, where did she leave her cop-on? Did she never hear of contraception? Do you remember that crombie coat you used to have? What? Do you remember the coat? - No. - You do so! You used to keep it spotless except for your dandruff. - I didn't have dandruff. - You did so! After you bought it, you stopped trying... to get me to go into the fields with you. It was the best contraceptive... ever invented, that coat. It's in the attic. How are ya? How are ya, Sharon? I'm pregnant. Did I tell yous? Ha ha ha! Yeah, well, I am. She's bleedin' serious! - Well done, Sharon. - Thanks, Jackie. Yeah, Sharon. Congrats. Thanks, Mary. Well done, Sharon, ya thick bitch, ya. Jesus, though, Sharon. I know. It's terrible, really. - How long you gone, Sharon? - Sixteen weeks. You don't look it. I do. I won't argue. You're the expert. I'm only messin'. I'll start getting bigger in a few weeks. You can hang around with someone else then. No fellas'll come near us if one of us is pregnant. So, Sharon, who you havin' it for? I can't tell. Sorry. Sharon. Give us a hint. - No. - Just a little one. Do we know him? You're scarlet. We must know him. Is he married? - Jesus! - No, he's not. I'll bet you he is. - Is he in here? - Jesus, Yvonne! Would you do it with anyone here? I was only asking! You're right, though. Sorry for insulting you, Sharon. Seriously, though, Sharon. Do we really not know him? No. Swear to God. Where did yous... Look, I don't want to talk about it, all right? Let's get pissed, will we? Oh, yeah. Young Sharon's after getting herself up the pole. Your Sharon, like? Yeah. Gas, isn't it? But she's not married. I know that. Who did the damage? We don't know. She won't tell us. You'd want to find out, wouldn't you? Excuse me, compadre. What's it to you who it was? I couldn't give a shite who it was. I'm not gonna buy the food, the nappies... or the little bleedin' track suits. Dessie is! I am in me hole! Hang on a sec. Maybe I will, what? Ah, so what? I don't care. It's only a baby. Snapper, what? Compadre... I can let you have some very good baby clothes. Mucho goodo stuff. Benetton. - Ha ha! Benetton. - Very competitive price. Sorry, lads. Will you take a few of these raffle tickets off me? What for? This. We need a new set of jerseys for the under-fifteen lads. They've all grown bigger since the start of the season. Here, we'll take a few for Sharon's snapper, will we? That's a very good idea. No! Here you go, Georgie. Here. There. Thanks very much, lads. That's great. Oh, give a little. Helps a lot. - Gobshite. - Absolutely. Listen... Do you think she'll get married? What's that? Oh, no. No. Jesus, no. They've more cop-on these days, eh? I mean, would you get married... if you were that age again... these days? - What? - I think I'm going to cry. Anyway, I wouldn't want Sharon getting married that young. She's her whole life ahead of her. Exactly. Unless she drinks an iffy pint. Having a baby's the most natural thing in the world. - That's right! - Oh, good shite! Olé, olé, olé, olé Olé, olé Whoo! Was it Dessie Delaney? - No! - I was only askin'! Well, don't! I'm not tellin', so feck off! Was it Billy Delaney, then? Sharon Curley's pregnant, did you hear? Sharon Curley's up the pole. Sharon Curley's having a baby. I don't believe you! Jesus! Jesus! Are you serious? Who's she having it for? I don't know. She won't say. She doesn't know. Ha ha ha! She can't remember! That's shocking! Dirty bitch. Mmm. Poor Sharon. The slut! I don't believe her. The stupid bitch. She had that coming. Serves her right. Ah, poor Sharon. Let's see her get into those jeans now. Are you all right, Sharon? Are you all right, Sharon? - Now? - Yeah. Aw, God almighty. Jesus, Sharon. You'll soon be the same shape as me, what? Thanks very much. Now I've got to know what is and isn't mine He's coming! He's coming! If you received my letter We should have met him at the airport. Not at all. Then you'll know just what to do If you still want me If You still want me Well, tie a yellow ribbon 'Round the old oak tree It's been three long years Do you still want me? Still want me If I don't see a ribbon 'Round the old oak tree I'll stay on the bus Forget about us Put the blame on me Craig, love. Sharon's having a baby. Is that right? That's right, yeah. Who was it? Do you want me to sort him out for you? Sure, I already offered... Grow up, will you? No bullets? No. Well, what's the point of giving you a gun... if they don't give you Jesus bullets? So we wouldn't shoot anyone. I thought that was the point. How else you supposed to keep the bleedin' peace? That's crazy, that is. It was no joke, all right? You had to look straight at 'em. - Who? - The Arabs. Straight at them. Straight into their eyes. Mesmerize them. Easier said than done, I'd say. Who are you telling? Thanks. Hit me, will you? Get out! Hey, Sharon. You forgot your piss. Urine. Da! Next time you try that, you better watch it. For God's sake, are you daft? He's not only daft. He's such a roving eye for everybody in this hospital. Did you see him? Every young student doctor... She wanted to know my menstrual history. I didn't know what she was talking about till she told me. I felt like a right bleeding'eejit. Why didn't she just say "your periods"? We'll weigh you now, Sharon. Doctors are always like that. "Menstrual history." I got a "C" in that in me inter. How are your movements? Not bad. How's yours? There's the heartbeat now. See it? Yeah. Only one heart. What? There aren't twins in there. Oh, yeah. That there is a leg. See it? Oh, yeah. Sharon? Why didn't you come in this morning? Had a checkup. I swapped with Mona. You should be on check... Ask her. You should be on check-out now. I can't do it! Why not? 'Cause I have to keep going to the toilet! Why aren't you in uniform? It doesn't fit me anymore! He must be a right fucking bastard! I know what I'd have told him. He blushed. You should've seen him. Just 'cause I said "toilet." Is he good-looking, Sharon? Ah, you're joking me. You know Roland the rat? Well, he looks like him, only not as nice. He asked me why I wasn't wearing me uniform... so I stuck out me belly... and I said, "It doesn't fit me anymore!" You were dead right, Sharon. You should've stuck one of your tits... in his mouth as well. You should see the state of me nipples. Jesus. Frank Kinsella's a ride, isn't he? - It wasn't him. - I didn't say he... It wasn't him. It wasn't his brother. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't Bart Simpson. It wasn't anybody. Now get off me bleedin' back, will ya? I'm sick of it! - She didn't... - You keep out of it, right! He is a ride, though, isn't he? Frank Kinsella. Bitch. What's that that's on, Sharon? - Yachting. - Ah, good shite. Would you look at that fucking eejit? Can you not just say eejit? That's what I did say. Where are you going? - Toilet. - Jesus, again? Me uterus is pressing into me bladder. Ah, now stop that, Sharon! I don't want to hear that sort of thing! It's not right. Sorry. It's OK. Where's the remote? Da? No, you can't have a bike. It's not his birthday for ages yet, is it? Oh, Jesus. There's nothing on the telly tonight, is there? There's never anything on. Oh, you're right, of course... but there's absolutely nothing on tonight, is there? I suppose a ride is out of the question? Hang on till I get this line done. You serious? I suppose so. Fucking great. You're not messing now? No. Just let me finish the next line. I'll go up and brush me teeth. That'll be nice. Come on, up on the stools, everybody. I've an announcement to make. Quick. Come on, move it, move it, will yous? Come on! Quick, get up there! Would you take it easy? Get her down off that. People have to eat at the... Get her off the stool! Shut up! Shut up! Happy birthday, Darren. Happy birthday, Darren. Yeah, good lad. There you go, what. - What is it? - Open it and see. It's not a bike. He's brilliant, isn't he? I know that! - Ooh, wow. - Very nice. It's a pump. It's a very good one, too. See, I'm gonna get you a wheel for your Christmas... and another wheel for your next birthday... and then the saddle, what. Ha ha ha ha. You can pump yourself to school every morning now. Go away, you. Yous are messing. We are, of course. Kay, when you're ready. Dee dee dee diddly dee dee dee... - Ohh! - Whoa! It's a beauty, isn't it? Get yourself up on that. Go on. What? It's a Stephen Roche special. Oh, yous are still messing. 'Course we are. Dee dee dee diddly dee dee dee... Whoa! Ohh! Whoa, ho ho ho! Throw your leg over that one, what. - Sorry, Sharon. - It's a Raleigh! 'Course. Only the best. It's not the best, though. Peugot are. You ungrateful little bollix. Give me that back. - No, give it! - Give me that back! I want to keep it, Dad. Give it! It's a bit embarrassing, really. But I heard him talking about Sharon. Your Sharon, like, on Sunday. What was he saying about Sharon? He said she was a great little ride. My God. What... You wouldn't want to be listening to that fella. I only told you 'cause... I don't know why I told you, really. You were right. It's pathetic. A grown man talking like that. Exactly. Just 'cause she's up the pole. Exactly. It's stupid. Yeah. You wouldn't want to be getting... worked up about it. Still, though... It's just... I heard something. I thought I should warn you. - Warn me? - Yeah, warn you. You know your man, George Burgess? What about Mr. Burgess? He was saying things. Not to me face. It was Lester who told me. He was saying things... about you being pregnant. What was he saying? He said... he said you were a great little ride. So Lester says, anyway. Lester wouldn't make a thing up like that, would he? Jesus, no. Not Lester. Never. Ah, well... You're not upset, are you? No. Being called a ride's... a bit of a compliment, really, isn't it? Jesus, I don't know about that. Anyway, he shouldn't be saying things like that. Sure, men are always saying things like that about girls. But not about daughters. Don't be thick, Da. All girls are daughters. Well, not my fucking daughters, then. That's hypocritical. I don't give a shite what it is. He has daughters of his own. That young one, your friend. Do you expect us to drink without eating something? If you don't immediately bring me mutton, you will get eaten! There's a little imp in you, sometimes you can't live without pranks. Could it be that it amuses you to play the sorcerer for the little boy? My dear Doctor, we all play some type of part: I, a sorcerer, you, a scholar who holds nothing dear. Every man, if we are to believe Moses, is only a part played by God. I would like to know what you know, apart from a few such portrayals? Move aside! I'm so bored with your grimacing face! Man is created in the image of the Creator himself, and therefore he has characteristics incomprehensible both to angels and to demons. Wine! Ah, scoundrel! No mutton for us again? A good glass of wine demands also something good to eat. Wait! Wait now! Don't you get bored with the same old tricks? And you're always making those stupid faces! Good sirs, don't be angry with this creature. He suffers from melancholy since birth. But tomorrow is a party here, many people are coming. You must return my serving-boy. I can't manage it alone! Now my friend, for this first time I forgive you. Over there, in the trash can sits your infant. Doctor, look, what a long face! He can't accept that he has lost his girl. And his girl is a treasure, a real treasure! Les do him a good turn, Doctor, and we'll have a laugh as well. My dear fellow, we are travellers and are here for the first time. This is my friend, doctor of philosophy and medicine, Johann Faust, a name you may perhaps have heard. And I... I am a modest scholar, learning the dark side of things, and am called Mephistopheles. And thus I ask you to call me. Forgive me, my dear fellows, but I am astonished that you are addressing me. We don't want to hurt you. We were in Egypt and Palestine. But I don't much care for that place. Having passed through Constantinople, Moscow, and Vienna, we became convinced on the way that wherever you go, wine is heady and men run after women. - And that nowhere can happiness be bought with money and love be gained by force. Now we are visiting Cologne and would be very happy if you show us it. You don't appear very happy at all. Well, we're cheerful lads. We live for the moment, not thinking of the future. My soul is like an out-of-tune viola. Maybe we can help you to tune it again. Alas! Who knows! Who knows... Come with us. You will find out much. He will grimace. Pay! Is your task to command me, and mine to obey you, except until the parts are switched around someday. So, is settled. We'll wait for you tomorrow morning at the Three Kings Inn. May this conjuror kiss the cross! Sister Renata, do you believe in evil spirits? I do not believe in evil spirits but in the word of God, which bears witness to them. Sister Renata, have you seen demons? I have always looked away from them. Sister Renata, I can see that you are very unhappy. I am sorry for you, as I was on the first day. But why, since you came to my convent, is there no longer any peace in our quiet life? Mysterious knocks on the wall, invisible fingers touching us in the dark, visions and terrible fits among the sisters. Sister Renata, all this came to us with you. Where holiness is near, there roams the spirit of perfidy. Pray, Sister Renata. The Inquisitor has come to the convent to combat sin. He will administer exorcisms to expel demons from you. Prepare yourself, Sister Renata. May heaven forgive you. Beloved brothers and sisters, it is a well-known fact that the spirit of darkness often takes the form of a holy angel. But for this we are given a spiritual sword to cut off his shameful snout. Come here, beloved daughter, and tell us what evidence you have that your visions aren't from the Devil? Father, I do not know where my visions come from. But he who appears to me day and night speaks to me of God and goodness and calls me to the life of virtue. How can I not believe him? Who is responsible for this? Answer! Father, is my foes! Come forth, dark spirit, father of lies, ancient serpent! Do not torment! We pronounce anathema upon you, we expel you, we curse you, we repudiate your deeds! Do not torment! We prohibit you from this place. Get away, dark spirit, destroyer of bliss, criminal and sinful one! Run, banned, humbled shamed, to far-off, arid deserts, to terrible regions, inaccessible to man! And there, hiding and keeping a check on your pride, may you await the terrible day of the last judgment. Stay in your place. Hold them down! Get away, dark spirit... Are you here, accursed sower of sedition? He is here! Is it you, spirit from Hell? Oh yes. Spirit of evil, do you have accomplices? He has! Perhaps in Sister Renata? ...get away from this cloister and never return, devilish dragon... Perhaps in Sister Renata? Oh yes... Devilish spirit, leave this body. Away, rapacious wolf. Away, venomous scorpion! By the power vested in me from above, I command you: Go hence! He's going! Take them away. Sister Renata, we have forced your foes to forsake the bodies of your sisters. But we have discovered you are in a sinful pact with the devil. Confess your sin, apostate! I am not guilty of the sin which you have named. Woe is us! Get away from us! Sisters, come to your senses! Holy Sister Renata! Holy Sister Renata! Pray for us, Sister Renata! Intercede for us, Sister Renata! - Back, insidious spirit! You are the pure, innocent bride of a celestial angel. Pray for us, save us, deliver us from the Devil. Pray for us, Sister Renata! Intercede for us, Sister Renata! From this sister came all misfortunes. From this sister came all devilish intrigues. Malign spirits, condemned and prohibited, banished, exiled, I command and charge you, in the blinking of an eye, depart all of you who purvey iniquity... You are holy and without sin, you save us sinners. Sisters! Sister Renata! - Get away from me! Have pity, dark one! Have pity, base one! Have pity, terrible one! Have pity, dreadful one! Have pity! Get out, black one! Get out, sinister one! Get out, terrible one! Away with you! Away! Get away! Away! Don't touch me! - Go away! Away! Die! Pray for us, Sister Renata! Pray for us, Sister Renata! Have pity, dark one... Look, isn't that the one who put your viola out of tune? There she is! There she is! You yourself are a devil's servant! Profanity comes from your lips! Die, crumble away! Crumble away like ashes in the desert! You are a devil with a tail and hair. Sisters, tear off his clothes! Trample him down! Trample him down! This woman is guilty of carnal intercourse with the Devil. She is subject to the judgment of the inquisition. She shall be tortured and then burned at the stake. Subtitles David Fenske Film und Video Untertitelung Gerhard Lehmann AG Love is like a net, capturing heroes' hearts Like a sword, vengeance cutting through love and hate Even heroes have to succumb to love and hate Not even the Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre can disentangle love and hate Hatred in the sea of love Regrets in this life filled with resentment and love who can answer what is love and hate Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre are legendary weapons in the martial arts world They were created by Guo Jing and wang Yung The legend says that at the end of the Sung dynasty Guo Jing and wang Yung guarded the xian Yang which fell to the enemy's hands Knowing there was no further hope before their anticipated deaths They secretly sought a famous sword smith using the hardest quartz available on earth to amalgamate with hero Guo's heavy sabre to create the Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre As a result for hundreds of years martial artists wanted to find out the secret and possess these weapons, to be the best of all The Heaven Sword had been hidden with the Er Mei School by heroine Guo while the Dragon Sabre drifted from one place to other Our story follows the route to finding the Dragon Sabre At the end of the Sung dynasty, a powerful cult arose It was called the Ming Cult This cult originated from Persia ...and came into China The key person in our story is one of the four chiefs of the cult Golden haired lion Tse Shun His wife and daughter were raped and killed by his teacher, Shing Kwun, which drove him to madness This drove him to kill many innocent people, including ...many on the wang Puen Mountain He unintentionally snatched the Dragon Sabre from the Hoi Sha clan Another character in the story is wu Ji the son of Chang Tsui San of wu Dong Chang couple Tse Shun became sworn brother sister and made a retreat at lce Fire Island Subsequently Chang and his wife because of quarrels with other clans committed suicide Thus Chang wu Ji remained as the only one who knew where the Dragon Sabre and Tse Shun was when our story begins Chang was injured by the Freezing Palm Chang San Fang brought him to Shaolin for treatment but was unsuccessful The two were spending the night at the pier Suddenly... Stop You cur, you've come to harm innocent people again Get lost Attack Don't cry, come Come here Don't be frightened Let's go Your name, sir? I am Chang San Fang of wu Dong So it's you I am Sheung Yu Chun, at your service Please arise... Hero Sheung, you've been wounded internally I was escorting young master to the south when I was injured by the Monk who is your master? Chau Tsi wang of Yuen Chou head pupil of the Ming Cult That's right Young master...how are you? ... His body is cold He's been hit by the Freezing palm I have also been injured quite badly and was seeking a doctor If you trust me let me take him too, how about it? would you be referring to the doctor of the Butterfly Valley? Exactly I still have a favour to ask Since I am seriously injured and cannot take care of two kids Could you therefore take my young master to wu Dong to be looked after? Okay, don't worry Thank you who is this kid? His name is Chang wu Ji The son of Chang Tsui San of wu Dong School why have you brought someone from wu Dong? Don't you know I never help anyone from other schools? I am indebted to his grand teacher for saving my life, can you make an exception please? Chang San Fang saved you, not me Then could you bear not to save a life That's right, my other name is Stand by and do nothing' where are you off to? You won't save me, but neither do I want your help You have a strong character How come your pulse is so strange? He was injured by the Freezing Palm what? The Freezing Palm? Yes I think you should let him go or you'll be in embarrassment what do you mean? During those years I married you I have never seen you heal such a kind of injury If you should fail, it's better to let him go now You know my character Tougher it gets, the more I must accept the challenge If I can't cure him in a year, then I'll take two years If not then five years or even ten years You have taken the best medicine and with acupuncture at the 36 pressure points over ten years' treatment How come you couldn't be healed? You've done your best, it's okay The freezing poison has reached your heart and it's difficult to cure, also that Monk has forced it deep into your meridians You'll never rid yourself of the poisons in your life Your condition will fluctuate between good and bad I can only extend your life for a few years that's the best I can do In that case...how many years do I still have? 3 more years That's good enough, I have no parents but I have enough time to see my grand teacher Right, last night Sheung Yu Chuen asked someone to deliver a letter to you saying that the girl you met at the pier have joined Er Mei and became student of Abbess Mie Jiue and has grown a lot Oh, yes Yes, grown up just like you I wonder if we'll meet again Don't think too much Go and get some medicine as per this prescription at Butterfly Valley Yes, guardian Don't move, where is wu Ching Niu? what do you want with him? Never mind, just tell me what, you're a girl? what are you up to anyway? Disguised as a girl and looking for wu My mother has been injured and I need Doctor wu where's your mom? Mom Mom Mom, how are you? How come you've been hurt so badly Do you know where wu Ching Niu is? Of course I do but he doesn't treat outsiders I know You're from the school of Ming Cult You could say that because my name is Ji Shiau Fu Then you are the heroine of Er Mei who gave birth to a daughter with Yang Siu ...1 8 years ago Ashamedly yes Please Sit, wu Ji, fetch the medicine Yes Doctor wu I haven't come here for treatment but have a favour to ask what is it? Since she's Left Guardian of Ming cult's daughter... I was hoping you could deliver her to her father ...after I die Mother, you won't die... Heroine Ji, what's your story with Guardian Yang? It happened about 1 8 years ago My teacher Master Mie Jiue decided with wu Dong's Priest Chang that I should marry wu Dong's Yan Lei Hang I knew he liked me a lot Not long after I took a trip for some business and met a person in a white outfit we quarrelled and fought and on that day that person and I had a daughter He was in fact Yang Siu of the Ming Cult For this I was ashamed to return to Er Mei and hide in a cottage Little expected that after 1 8 years my sister Ding Man Juan found me I fought her off and escaped injured with Bu Huei I know I can't escape but hope you would save her No, mom, I'll go wherever you go You needn't go anywhere just stay with me If anyone wants to kill you, he'll have to kill me And me, wang Nan Gou first Is that true? Abbess Mie Jiue I guessed you would come here because this evil cult consorts with you closely Teacher Shut up Doctor wu, I'd like to borrow this place to take care of some of Er Mei's internal business Sure However as I said if you plan on any killing you'll have to kill me first Also me, wang Nan Gou I hear that, please You kids please go outside You are... Chang wu Ji You are... I am Chou Chi Yeuk You've grown such a lot I kept the shawl you gave me until last year when it was torn How's your illness? I've been told it's hopeless Have you finished? Yes what is Er Mei's third commandment? It prohibits fornication and promiscuity what about the sixth commandment? Guard against rebels who turn against Er Mei what punishment do these rebels deserve? Death You now have a chance to make up for your wrong That is to go to Yang Siu of the Summit Guang Ming and poison the food so as to kill them all and rid us of this evil Shiau Fu, your word now will determine your fate what wrong have Ming Cult done to deserve total annihilation? If you must kill, just kill me You're looking for death? Mother Mother I told you if you must kill kill me first And me, wang Nan Gou This bitch's skills are not bad I think her title of Head of Er Mei has not been bought by money Doctor, please stop Even ten more of you won't be my teacher's match Let me settle this affair today Run while you can Haven't you heard of the Scholar Chuang Zi's words? Living mightn't mean happiness deathnotsuffering' In death we might find we were fools while we lived So don't place too much emphasis on life and death but you must have great regard for what you've said Doctor, how are you? we have done our best Take care of yourself Doctor wu... Doctor wu... Teacher, why? why? The evil cult is better than the hypocrites full of high sounding morals Mother who is she? She is Shiau Fu's daughter? Should we kill her too to prevent future problems? No, you can't kill her You can't kill her why? Because she's my wife I am a member of wu Dong wu Dong School Let's go Sister Bu Huei Mom Sister Bu Huei, don't cry any more Sister Bu Huei Please don't cry Sister Bu Huei "The tomb of wang Nan Gou" "The tomb of wu Ching Niu" "The tomb of Ji Shiau Fu" Let's go You know where my father is? I don't Regardless of whether I know I'll take you to him Okay, you'll be alright in a few days How come you know how to treat wounds? I have lived at wu Ching Niu's place for 1 0 years and he taught me You are from wu Dong why did you stay at a Ming Cult member's home? My foster father was a member of Ming Cult who was he? Golden haired lion Tse Shun Golden haired lion Isn't the Dragon Sabre with him? True, that's why so many people are looking for him I know where he is, but I won't tell I tell you, I have been with him for a long time He taught me a lot of kung fu including paralyse pressure points I also heard that not long after I was born he raised me How did you become wounded? On the night my parents were killed someone struck my chest with a palm blow Look, the colour of the blow on me has not changed these 1 0 years wu said as long as the colour remains the same my illness will stay with me Now, let's talk about other things You really don't know where to find your father I really don't but I heard my mother say that this time each year father always sneaks in to see us but I have never seen him Forget it Looks like you're no better than I am Come, let's eat You're so beautiful when you let your hair down You like it? Yes Help her out Be careful How come you're sleeping in the coffin? I'd like to die at sea Look at her hands No need This is the Hand of a Thousand Poisons She is practising her poisonous kung fu who are you? I am looking for this girl because she has just avenged her mother by killing ...her step-mother, she might at an emotional low ...and not clear-headed How would you know? Her mother is my student Student? How do I know if you're telling the truth or not? what insolence! Good fun... No one has ever talked to me with such impertinence, you must be tired of living Good fun... who is it that has such excellent kung fu? I am Yang Siu of the Ming Cult and am begging your pardon on behalf of the kids Yang Siu Let's go quickly You are Yang Siu of the Ming Cult? That's right Sister Bu Huei, he's your father My father? How did you know I am here? As in every past year, I went to your home and see what had happened in there So I knew something must have gone wrong then I came here where's your mother? She's dead Okay... I have at last delivered you to your father I can go to wu Dong myself Little brother, you... Never mind who I am you'll never see me again Brother wu Ji what is it? I hope to see you again Okay, if my wounds are healed I'll look for you Farewell It's so cold Damn the Freezing Poison Grand teacher, I fear I won't be able to return to wu Dong to see you Don't run Bitch, see where you can run to? Don't kill me... I ain't responsible for Gold Silver Serpent's poison who else could it be? Madam, let her go She has been hit by the Deadly Dart of our Kwun Lun School She is doomed I'll leave you to die of the poison here, let's go who are you? I'm here to save you You're lucky I got the antidote with me Don't be afraid, stay calm You'll be alright in a few days what's the matter with you? Forget it, let's meet and talk in a couple of days If you see anyone from wu Dong Tell them Chang wu Ji might not return to wu Dong Yes You're called Chang wu Ji Yes why are you not gone yet? Go Go quickly If they come back there'll be trouble Go on I think I'm okay He is Cheng wu Ji Let's grab him and ask him where Tse Shun is what do you want with Tse Shun? Don't waste our breath, attack I see, you want Tse Shun because you want to find the Dragon Sabre That's right I am Chu Chang Ling of Er Mei My daughter tells me you are Chang wu Ji of wu Dong Listen, take me to Tse Shun to get the Dragon Sabre You have no choice what if I don't do it? If you refuse you'll die here Attack Chase See where you can run to who are you? I am one who hates being aroused from sleep Old lady Jin Hwa So you are the old witch who killed 68 men in Lin Jiang restaurant in one night You want to die? You again I wanted to kill those who woke me up but ended up saving you fool Thanks, I'll repay you someday wait Chu Er, you must be bored being alone here I'll let him stay to serve you I have to go, you stay and practise with her I want you to catch 1 0 poisonous spiders for her daily Hear that? Sorry, but I have to go I have to see my grand teacher because I only have two more years to live if I don't return I won't see him again I don't care you have to stay here Chu Er, practise hard when I get the sword I'll return to you Okay Granny Miss, I have some business I can't accompany you when I say you can't go, you can't what's your name? Let go You call Ah Niu? Let me go, alright? what? You were a cow herd why do you bite me? Get lost It's painful Do you have any pain killer? How would I know? Hey...hey I forgot to tell him the house is unstable If your lifting kung fu is no good don't enter why is there light there? Let me take a look what is this place? It's so beautiful Strange, why is the lake water so cold? Yet it doesn't freeze why is this frog red in colour? And its body is so hot in the cold water It's bitten me These red frogs are obnoxious but they will taste good when cooked Feels so good, a warm current is running through my body Could it be because I've eaten these frogs So hot You fool, you should know you can't win so you should stay out of trouble Look, you've been bitten all over Come, I'll get you some medicine So it's even more beautiful by day A pity there're cliffs every where, no escape route! what's the matter? what's up in the tree? In the tree The Jiu Yang creed Jiu Yang Creed is the martial arts world's treasure It was originally in Shaolin But 90 years ago when hero Guo Jing was the martial arts world's leader the villains wan Si Hak and Siu Seung Ji sneaked into Shaolin and stole the creed but they were discovered by Monk Guo Yuen and were pursued to the peak of Hua San They knew they couldn't get away so they placed the creed on a baboon After the two men died The baboon carried the creed to a far away place and ultimately buried it here Chang wu Ji was blessed to have this opportunity plus he has eaten the red frog that can enhance the circulation So he not only acquired excellent martial arts skills but also cured the poison within him for 1 0 years That deadly palm strike mark has also vanished How come you're still here? who are you? It's me You are the one who bit my hand How's your hand? I put my hand in the box so the spider could bite it It's part of the training How did you get so many poisonous spiders? It's her Sister, what are you doing? I know this person Sister Teacher, look This is the Hand of a Thousand Poisons Quick, paralyse her pressure points Carry her downhill and treat her with the antidote Yes So you belong to the evil cult what's your relation with Eagle Cult Yan Tin Jing? Isn't he my grandfather? You're not saying anything Okay, come on Tie the two of them together we'll deal with you when the other clans arrive It'll be okay tomorrow That's good to hear I recall now I once met you over at wu Ching Niu, where's your wife? wife? Right Oh, she ran away what? She ran away with somebody So she's gone, what's the big deal Jiu Jun said he is connected to the Dragon Sabre Look at his stupid look, most likely it's rodomontade Master what's the matter? You said she's a follower of Yan Tin Jing what proof do you have? Only Yan Tin Jing's daughter-in-law who is the student of granny Jin Hua knows such poisonous techniques Are you the daughter of Yan? what? Right, you know my father So you're the lunatic who avenged your mother by killing your step-mother what a damned evil cult! If you're the grand daughter of Yan Tin Jing that makes you my cousin. Cousin what cousin? You're brother Niu Brother Niu Be quiet, I'll take you away No need Here is highly on guard Even if you're an excellent fighter you can't escape with this mad lass Eat up Any more? No more Forget it I'm not too hungry anyway Right, where are you going? The six mighty clans are gathering all martial artists to annihilate the Summit Guang Ming It beats me, why does everyone want to destroy the Ming Cult? when did you marry the Yang lady? You're wrong, I said it only because I didn't want your teacher to kill her I really have nothing to do with her why do you ask? Nothing You girls are strange You only speak half of what you want to say what are you doing? Eating a bun I never expected in this evil cult there could be such a beautiful place Jiu Jun Yes Didn't we arrange to meet the wu Dong School here? Yes, teacher we did arrange to meet in this famous Snow Pond in the Marble forest 6th Master of wu Dong Yan Lei Hang, 6th Master of wu Dong Mok Sing Kuk, 7th Master of wu Dong Abbess Mie Jiue, I am at your services Please be at ease, where are the others? Big brother has led 33 men and will arrive immediately My nephew Sung Ching Shu is here Ching Shu, greet Master Mie Jiue Yes Hi, Master This is Sung Ching Shu the son of our big brother Your fame precedes you you're an admirable young hero You fluttered me! Chi Yeuk, come and greet hero Sung Yes Hero Sung Miss Chau Master, the letter brought by the pigeon messenger It said we've reached the foot of the hill So you're the Five Emissaries from the Ming Cult I suppose most of their men have returned we're here to deal with the troubles Good However before you lies only a way to death I suggest you beg for mercy we uphold our principles to be righteous Death to us is no concern You want us to surrender, forget it Hack off all their right arms See how tough they are Yes wait Aren't you ashamed of this barbaric deed? what's so shameful about destroying an evil sect? who do you think you are? You dare to lecture me? Even if you had the Dragon Sabre You have spar with our Heaven Sword first I have no Dragon Sabre but I have a better heart than you I am willing to take the punishment you've planned for them You've all heard this Right, if you could take 3 palm strikes from me I'll let them go but if you lose I will die with no complaints I have one more request If I win I get to take the girl as well Okay, release him Yes I have took your first blow I used only less than half my normal power Looks like I'll have to use the Jiu Yang kung fu You still have one more blow Teacher... Teacher... Strange, how does he know the Jiu Yang kung fu? we're saved... I have blocked 3 of your blows now you can let them go As promised, yes Please we'll be forever grateful Farewell... Miss, please Move Go The Green Bat You... You didn't expect me, did you? I saw it all I'll repay you for your help to the Ming Cult but now I'll have to take the girl who is he? He is one of the four guardians of the Ming Cult Blood sucker the Green Bat Blood sucker? Yan Li Yan Li... Strange, where did he go? who is it? who are you? ... Are you a ghost? ... why are you following me? ... who are you? I can't tell why not? I can't tell why are you running around? I have a friend who has been taken away by the Green Bat Green Bat? His martial art skill greatly excels yours You are no match for him I have to Good, your friend must be a girl Yes, how did you know? If not, the young man would not have fought so vigorously? But... No need to struggle This is called Qian Kun bag You can't get rid of it who are you? I am Shaw Bu Di, the Monk Bo Doh one of the Five fighters from the Ming Cult I'll now bring you to see him Is somebody in here? Hello Hello That's strange, how come nobody's in here? Says who? Priest Tieh Kwun Shaw Bu Di, you are here too Right, how come nobody's here? They are preparing themselves at the main hall for the attack from the six mighty clans Let's go and find Yang Siu So glad that Green Bat and the 5 fighters are here too I beg your pardon for not personally welcoming you The reason we are here is because of Ming Cult If the six mighty clans were not attacking this place we'll never be at a place like this I know, the six mighty clans are attacking us and I am helpless It's really our blessing that the Green Bat and the Five fighters agree to help for the sake of old Master Ming when the enemies go what'll you do with the headship? Are you all here to help me fight against the enemies or discuss the succession to the Chief's seat I will pursue this question relentlessly I don't want to argue with you at this time If you do not care about the well being of the Ming Cult please leave now If I survive I'll visit you individually what boastfulness! Mr Yang... Mercy Stop fighting... Stop fighting... Deadly Finger Shadow Finger who are you? I am Yuen Chun, before I became a monk I was called Shing Kwun Shing Kwun I am the cousin of the Master's wife we were in love at the beginning but her parents married her to your Chief for money Because of this I've sworn to try my best to destroy the Ming Cult I manipulated the fiery temper of my student Tse Shun I raped and killed his wife and daughter I used him to fight against the martial arts world As a result the six mighty clans are attacking Summit Guang Ming today Although we are seriously wounded I still have strength left... to give the last blow Now, let's see who recovers first will win this fight, or we'll die altogether Little brother, maybe you have to give some help to the Ming Cult Little brother? I've brought a person in my bag You can't tear it open Jump slowly Alright, tell me where he is I Chang wu Ji have to avenge for my father's death what? Chang wu Ji He's five steps from your left, hop over One Two Three Four, five That villain is right in front of you, fight him Shing Kwun, you've never thought that I'll be here to avenge my foster father's death He still has the energy to use the Shadow Finger! How? You've never dreamt that I could unblock my pressure points at the last moment Let me tell you, I've been practising hard in the past 30 years to beat and overcome all your techniques I've studied them all very carefully and know how to open up the pressure points I see that this is the end of the Ming Cult Chang wu Ji, I failed to kill you 1 3 years ago but today I'll kill you with my Shadow Finger Only Jiu Yang kung fu can tackle it It's a pity Jiu Yang kung fu has been lost for century I think you'd better accept your death But before you die you will see one big incident in the martial art world and that is my palm strike killing the 7 devils wait, if you want to kill them you have to have my permission why? I haven't been wounded by your Shadow Finger You've practised Jiu Yang kung fu Yes I did long ago Don't run Shing Kwun, don't run Shing Kwun... where's he? Miss, why are you so late? Something happened in Summit Guang Ming, hurry Siu Chiu, bring me my sword Yes Sister Bu Huei Stay here Hey Hey who are you? I am... Mr. Chang... You are... I am the one who saved you in the forest How come you are here? I was rescued by Miss I was supposed to... we'll talk about this later Tell me whether there's any hidden path in this house that leads to some other places Hidden path? I was stalking someone but he just disappeared here! I've served Miss for almost 3 years and have never heard that there's any hidden path It's here Shing Kwun Shing Kwun... where are he going? what's inside? I don't know Shing Kwun... Chian Kuen shifting Technique! This is a superior technique of the Ming Cult Right This is where their head Yeung Po Tin used to practise his martial arts Never mind him, let's see how this kung fu works How come there're no words in it? How did you know its secret? Never mind, just look at the creed inside The first level of the technique Unite heart and spirit, lotus position Start from... Mr. Chang It's you How come you're behind me? I don't know either This must be the secret power working Once you move, I'll automatically dodge you and move to this spot That means you've accomplished your training I unintentionally acquired knowledge of the skill, never meaning to steal it I will use such skill to serve the Ming Cult from hereon to thank you for it The six mighty clans have arrived You so-called righteous clans use successive attack tactics to fight our white Brow Is it fair? The white Brow Eagle is my grandfather Seventh Brother It is not a big deal at all Thank you for showing me mercy Old rogue The three of us will fix you Little did we expect we of the Hung Dong School get to kill the last fiend of the Ming Cult wait All of you of the six mighty clans are bullying these wounded people Can your conscience accept this? Little bastard, mind your own business Are you...related to the Ming Cult? what's your name? I am Chang wu Ji, and unrelated to the Ming Cult Chang wu Ji... Though I don't belong to the Ming Cult I know someone has been inciting the six mighty clans to attack Summit Guang Ming Is it true...? who is that culprit? None other than Monk Yuen Chun of Shaolin If only Hung Ji would give him up the truth will be known You know very well Yuen Chun always meditates in his room and never leaves it why are you trying to frame us? Our Dragon palm of Shaolin Please, mercy Thank you for being easy on me Yuen Yin, Yuen Yip, step back... Yes, teacher... Attack Looks like in order to annihilate the Ming Cult we have to go through you Shaolin and Hung Dong have been beaten by you I wonder if you have the guts to fight against the swordsmanship of Kwun Lun School and that of the wa Shan School Union of the our sword styles Many heroes have died in this Yin and Yang formation Really? Hero Chang, choose a weapon This is it Alright, then use the dried branch as weapon You are not showing any respect to our Schools Chian Kuen Moving Technique That's right, Hero Chang has mastered the Chian Kuen Moving Technique what? why did you stab me? I didn't. That kid must have used some evil magic what are you doing? How did my sword injure you? This lad has strange kung fu Don't know where he learned it? Now all schools have been defeated by hero Chang Now only Er Mei and wu Dong remain Abbess, you're mistaken I've come to resolve the situation not to challenge the six mighty clans I hope you'll listen to me... Shut up The six mighty clans want to annihilate the Ming Cult If you wish to leave, go now Or die with members of the Ming Cult here Chang wu Ji The Heaven Sword of Er Mei will not return to its sheath unless it draws blood Do you really want to die at Summit Guang Ming? I swore by the body of the Ming Cult leader to serve the Ming Cult I believe you also heard wu Ching Niu say life and death are unimportant what's important is what one has said and I have said I will serve the Ming Cult Alright where's your sword? wu Ji, this sword has been with me for 1 0 years and has killed numerous villains If you can behead that evil nun I can die in peace I've been looking for the right match for this Heaven Sword in the past 30 years I hope I can find one Just now you've heard that the Heave Sword will not return to its sheath unless it draws blood You still have the chance to leave if you want to Pardon me This little kid Chi Yeuk Master, are you alright? My sword This is the Heaven Sword of Er Mei, take it back Chi Yeuk, kill him with the Heaven Sword what's the 3rd rule? Thou shall not commit adultery what's the 6th? Thou shall be faithful to the clan what's the punishment for those who break these rules? Death Mr. Chang... Hero Chang, this is the best medicine from Shaolin Thank you, no need I'll cure myself why must you do so? Abbess, please excuse my words Someone must be trying to frame Ming Cult we should ask Monk Yuen Chun to come forward and be questioned openly Alright...regardless of who is right or wrong This matter should ends here today If we've to massacre a group of Ming Cult followers... who are unarmed and seriously wounded we are no different from evil cults Alright, heroes Let the matter rest today wait I have a personal grudge to be settled I am here to challenge Yang Siu from the Ming Cult I hope that one of us will die in the fight here today Yan Lei Hang That's right, I am the fiance of Ji Shiau Fu wu Dong's 6th Master, Yan Lei Hang In fact... you could have looked for me a long time ago Father, don't kill my father Your father? That's right, I am the daughter of Ji Shiau Fu Yang Bu Huei Bu Huei? Ji Shiau Fu didn't regret to do such things Yang Siu, why do you get hurt today? why don't you kill me first today? Shiau Fu... Brother wu Ji... Brother wu Ji, your medication is here Alright Do as I say, use the medicine internally externally I understand Sixth Uncle is alright now He will probably recover in a couple of days what about your wound? Mine is not serious either when you recover go back to see grand teacher if you have the chance He misses you I know Don't leave me Shiau Fu... Uncle Yan... No... Shiau Fu... Miss Yang, please forgive him In the past 1 8 years, brother has been calling out this name thousands of times in his sleep Despite its being wrong, it's fate after all No need to be too upset Sometimes you won't understand why you owe others? while other times you don't know how to return what you owe them? I know, from now onwards For mother's sake I'll forever take care of Uncle Yan You'll be leaving tomorrow? I'll go back to wu Dong with Uncle Yan tomorrow Remember I've told you when I was sick in bed at the lake that I hope to see you again Alright, when I recuperate I'll look for you Now we meet again but we have to be separated again tomorrow It's hard at this moment to have to tell you what's at the bottom of my heart neither is it easy to make you understand No, I understand It's just that the world takes over our lives, and we can only drift along, existing but not leaving a mark where we go we meet and depart why must we be laden with troubles? why is it that each time we meet it is only for a short while? Only long enough to say goodbye Siu Chiu, I'm going Your dick is driving the car. Fuck her and get on with the goddamn case! I don't want to fuck her. Isn't one of you enough? Can you smell that? No, that's not it. How's the dog? He has to stay there for a while. Don't turn on the light. You want something to drink? No, no. I'm not staying. What are you trying to do here? Turn that off, please. You think having the lights off... is gonna make everything OK? Just let me pretend for a while. Pretend what, that you can't see? I can't see. I can't see things that are right in front of me... and I can see things that couldn't be there. For all I know, it was Cuchetto on the stairs. I saw Valerie after she died. I saw my mother. Want to see me cry? Boo-hoo! My dog got hit by a Cadillac. Now get the fuck out of here. Simmer down. Is this the cross you saw? Is it? How about this one? That's it. Why didn't you tell me... about these other hallucinations you had? Because it wouldn't make me a credible witness. Isn't that right? Isn't that what you're here to tell me... that I'm a nut and you're moving on? Why do you think I assigned someone to protect you? I can protect myself. With what... darkness? I survived 20 years... without sight or a cop at my door. That's great. What are you going to do... break every lamp in the house? No. Take the bulbs out. You need some light? You creep. - Just lay down! - No! Listen to me! You want to be raped... strangled, and drowned in a bath of your own blood? If you want to keep your ass alive... you're gonna have to help me. You better be strong. Strong like you? Let go! Don't test me. Why did you come here? You better get some sleep. I don't want to sleep. I got to go. Someday that dam you built's going to break, detective. What you got there? Soap. It's from the hospital. Surgical, antibacterial. She saw him there last night, right? She smells the same weird soap. So you're going to bring her in... for a detergical lineup... like some kind of goddamn commercial? What the hell are you doing? Anyone at the Byzantine churches recognize the drawing? Hallstrom, Crowe's on 501. Joe. Hallstrom. You lost her? Asshole rookie fuckup. This lady asked me to take her picture. Patroleo jagoff is what you are. I should have known... when she wanted to bring the violin. She had the violin? Some strange fate Might wait for them Fortune turns her wheel When fortune turns her wheel Emma, really great. Ready to go? You two know each other. Yeah. What are you doing here? Just doing my job. What are you doing here? Hey. Sounded good. Where are your glasses? You wear glasses, right? Contacts. So which one's your date... Grumpy or Doc? Thank you for asking me. Let's do it again sometime. It was great. Good night. You all right? You and the doctor... I wanted to get on with my life... but I just can't see him that way. Why is that? Because my eyes are filled with someone else. What are you smirking at? Huh? You are in serious trouble. You're going to need fucking flippers... to wade through the shit you're in. The lady was so upset... I had to sack out on her couch. Hysterical crying and shit. You know, I'll have to write this up. You know that? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There was one time... me and my friend Dennis... we were 8 or 9... we were in the front row of the grand stand... and I had a Coke in my hand. And when I looked down... I mean, it was a direct hit. And I said right there and then... I said, "I'm going to live in one of these buildings... with a view like this." What? You want to go inside? Shh. Wait, wait, wait. Open your eyes. I want you to look at me. My face is so fat... I don't think Ray wants to sleep with me anymore. I'm growing a mustache. No, it's the medication. They're not here. Ray took them to the movies. Look, come over. I haven't felt this good in years. Marlene... OK, OK. Honestly, Marlene, I'm not made of glass. OK. Bye. What's this? Van Morrison. Mm-hmm. And this? Vivaldi. Mmm... this? Pearl Jam. God, you're eclectic. What's this one? That's The Drovers. You're kidding. You bought ours? Yeah. That night I saw you guys. They sold them in the hallway. God, you're one of 3 people who bought it. No, I'm all 3 people. Of course, I was drunk. Figured I could give 'em away... for Christmas presents. I think I could fall in love with you. Thank you, I guess. You're welcome. Unfortunately... I got to go to work today. Hallstrom. Don't bother me. Wait, wait. Lieutenant? Aw, holy shit. Yeah. I'll be right there. There's been another murder. Milwaukee. Why don't you just come in here and sit? How long was this one dead before they found her? What's she doing here? Not even an hour. The husband came home with the kids. Would you come with me, please? - What? - Come on. What's going on with this girl? I happen to like her. Is it any of your business? Yeah, it's my business because it's my ass. Mitchell's talking about... putting another team on the case. Mitchell's what? Who the hell's he going to put on this case... that's not already working on it? I mean, we followed every goddamn lead. We got enough evidence to put the guy away for life. We've got one fucking problem... we have no idea who did it. And she is the only one that saw that killer. That's why I keep coming back to her. I'm telling you, she's the key. To the case or to you? Ridge... I bought her flowers. I bought her fucking flowers. Me. If you two are through making out... I'd like to see you in my office, please. What have we got? We got victim number 3 in Wisconsin. He's hitting his stride now. Nina Getz, Valerie Wheaton, and now this. Somebody's got to go to Milwaukee this afternoon... and tell them that we ain't got jack shit. It sure as hell isn't going to be me. Be sure and show 'em that drawing you got... from a blind witness. You just keep pushing me. Hey, you need it! Then don't you just take me off... this fucking case right now. Oh, ho! No way, Jose. You're going right down with me, asshole. Why don't you lighten up, lieutenant? Stay out of this, Ridgely. You two know more about this case than anybody. This guy's out there laughing at you, man. He's beating you. I want you to go out and shut the motherfucker down... 'cause you're not getting off the case. You're going to retire on this one. I'm going straight to Milwaukee. I don't know when I'll be back. I'll get you a ride from someone downstairs. I got this fucking jagoff of a lieutenant... who's blaming me for the fucking murder. Here for the murder? They're all inside. You live here? I'm sorry. Why do people say that? Why don't they just say that it sucks shit your mom's dead? We'll be coming to Chicago tomorrow. I wish I had more to tell you guys. Sometimes it takes a new victim... new input to a case to break it wide open. We're going to have to do an autopsy. She marked her driver's license. The donation was very important to her. You can imagine. Is there nothing you can do? She lost too much blood from the wrist wounds... for them to be in any shape for donation. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. Well, thank you very much for your kindness. Brought those home last night... for her. How many has he killed? As far as we know, 2. Including my wife? No, no. Your wife is number 3. Don't call my wife a number. Her name is Margaret Tattersall. I'm, uh... I'm real sorry, sir. What have you been doing down there? Why didn't you catch him? What have you been doing? Want some coffee or anything? Oh, no. I'm in enough trouble already. But thanks. OK. See ya. Holy shit. When did this happen? When you were with her. Christ. Why didn't you beep me? Hey, John, you were in Milwaukee. Look, I've got a patroleo with her. Who? Crowe? Aw, Jesus, Tommy. I told him to call me... if anything happens... anything at all. Let me ask you something. You believe her, don't you? Yeah, sure, I believe her. Tommy, could you take over for Crowe through tonight... just till I get my head fucking straight here? Good morning, Miss Brody. Where's John? He's working. You'll be safe with me. Well, can you tell me when he'll be available? No. No message. Miss Brody! It's Detective Ridgely. Is everything all right? Did you get my messages? I've been calling you... and calling you. Are you OK? Where's Ridgely? Ridgely? What are you... Do you have a death wish or something? Jesus Christ, Emma. Now you listen to me. While we were goofing around... another woman got murdered. I am gonna get someone to take you home... and you stay there with the cop who's assigned to you. Please don't palm me off on somebody else. I have to talk to you. I got to work on this full-time all the time. Ridgely's a good cop. He's gonna look after you. Is Ridgely gonna take over fucking me, too? Did you enjoy that? What the hell am I to you... one of your little conquests? I've seen your friends smirk at me. You think I'm stupid? What do you tell them? You give them a full report? Listen to me. I'm a little bit busy right now... to be playing Romeo to your Juliet. I have one or two minor things on my mind... not the least of which is finding this killer... before he finds you... so simmer down and stop acting... like some love-crazed teenager. You are such a prick. Emma... I like you. You're a very interesting... unusual woman. You're so full of shit. Don't you dare treat me like we just met in a bar. Well, we did, didn't we? Fuck! What do you want me to say, huh? You want me to say I love you? Is that what you want? Look at us. You think we have some kind of future together... some kind of suburban bullshit? Huh? You're the type of woman... who needs a man you can control. Well, guess what... I'm not that man. I'll show you! You little whore! Oh, Jesus Christ. Emma, let me see your hand. You keep the fuck away from me! Get the fuck away! How the fuck could you let her get out alone? You crossed the line, John. You put the girl in jeopardy. Yeah, well, I didn't lose her. She's reckless because of you! To get to you! Now, I'm gonna go get her, bring her home... and handcuff her to the fucking banister! She's gone! Oh, man! She's probably at the EI. Come on. No. No way! You stay out of this! You fucked up enough already! Come on. Couldn't you have said something... she wanted to hear? Anything? Couldn't you have lied? I did lie. Help! Help me! The mailman put one of your letters... in my box. I'll give you some medication. I'm growing a mustache. Miss Brody. It's me. It's Detective Ridgely. You all right, honey? Take this. Miss Brody. Don't you ever try... to sneak off on me like that again. You understand? It's all right. Hey, Barry. Long night, squire? Hospital bills. You got a file for every nosebleed in Illinois? If you'll just be patient... Thank you. But this says 3B. Yes. Miss Brody lives in apartment 2B. Somebody made a mistake. That's right. Valerie Wheaton died in apartment 3B. Who has access to these files? Only hospital personnel. I want a list. All right. Do you by chance recognize the handwriting on this? This looks like Dr. Pierce's writing. What were you doing at the El station... so late at night? Why do you want to know? Does it have anything to do with Detective Hallstrom? Look, I don't want to talk about it, OK? You don't like him because you... What? Wanted you for myself. I'm sorry. This is stupid of me. You're ready for contacts... if you want them. Or glasses. They'll correct you to 20/50. Do you think I saw the killer? Seeing isn't something that happens to you, Emma. It's something you do. I gave you the equipment. It's up to you to control it. If you invent these visions, you can stop them. Do you think I invented him? Doesn't matter what I think. What do you think? I'll call you later. I got to go. Oh, sergeant, hi. It's Detective Hallstrom from Chicago. I'm trying to find out if Margaret Tattersall... spent any time in a hospital recently? A lot of time? She got a new kidney. Hey, you just can't... That's OK. It's OK. It's all right. Where's John? What's the problem? I have to tell him something. I'm expecting John any minute. There's been another murder. In Indiana. Indiana? Is there something you want to tell me? No, nothing. The smell on the killer's hands... it's surgical soap. He must take it with him. He washes his hands with surgical soap... to get rid of the blood. I don't like this. Nina Getz was my patient for many years. The man has killed 3 people. A donor's identity is strictly confidential. Here it is. Leslie Davison. OK, follow me here. Frank's victim... Margaret Tattersall... had a kidney transplant 2 months ago. So? Our victim... Nina Getz... had skin grafts from an organ donor... about 2 months ago. Valerie Wheaton never had a transplant. No, but the woman who lived below her did. Emma Brody... she had a corneal transplant... and, it turns out... her apartment number is listed incorrectly... on her medical records. This guy meant to kill Emma Brody. Holy fuck! OK. So you got the letters... and the organs, right? What's the connection? I'm not done yet. Nina Getz's donor's name... was Leslie Davison. All right? What if our guy knew her at church, work, or something... and he's obsessed with her? But she dies. She donates her organs... and he goes after the people that have them. Now, postmortem wrist wounds... blood loss speeds the decay of the organs. The result is, they can't be passed on again. I'm betting that this girl Davison... is the donor for all of our victims... Getz, Tattersall, and Emma. Emma is not dead. I heard back from Ned in Indiana. The latest victim was a heart transplant. If you'll excuse me, gentlemen... Emma. Please, it's Dr. Pierce. I've been trying to reach you all day. Emma, listen. The donor I talked to you about... her family is threatening to sue. Her mother had religious objections... to harvesting her daughter's organs... even though her daughter was a voluntary donor. I don't think they have a case, but... Are you listening to me? Her lawyer just called. She needs to see you. She needs to see how her daughter's cornea... has changed your life. Because it has, Emma. Whether you like it or not, it has. Where does she live? Is this Leslie's? You're Russian, you go to a Russian church? Yes. Um, Davisovich is our ancestral name. Where did Leslie work? Illinois Masonic... on Wellington. She was a nurse. No, thank you. I'll do that. I could probably get Miss Brody to come by. - What? - Emma Brody... the woman who received your daughter's cornea. She says you've written to her. No. I never heard of Emma Brody. Is this the place? Well, this is the right block... but... jeez, what a dump. He said that the Davisons were at 523 South Sawyer. Well, there it is. That's it. That's it? Now, wait a minute. We got to find a place to park here. OK, I'm gonna turn around up there... and park back there across the street. Oh, they've seen us. This is good. I'm gonna go. Hold it. Hallstrom said... never to take my eyes off you. I'll be on the porch. You'll see me. Now, wait. Hold on. Hold... Ah, shit! Hey, officer. Mrs. Davison. It's Emma Brody. Hello? Crowe, wait up! There's no one there. Crowe? Hey. Do you hear me or wh... Think of him in terms of Leslie... someone she might've known, someone who liked her a lot. You got something? I got an I.D. From an orderly. The guy's name is Neal Booker. - Neal Booker? - Yes. You know him? The orderly. He's so quiet... like he's not even there. - He working now? - I don't know. I think this could be Neal... if he were really angry and scared. Ridge, get down to personnel. Find out where this guy is. Your eyes are different, Leslie. They gave them to her. They're not the right color. They... they took the corneas. Just the clear window on top. The windows of the soul. I've been looking for you. In all of them. I... saw them... carry pieces of you away. I'm here. Put it on. You have 30 seconds. Leslie Davison was Emma's donor, correct? How did you get that information? She has something to do with the murders. Yeah, Leslie Davison is the donor. Emma's with her mother right now. Someone who said he was her lawyer... gave me the address. Leslie, put it on. You're so beautiful. Stand by for the all call. Attention all units and all districts. I'm on South Sawyer. Can you hear me? Unit 12 proceeding southwest Harvard. ETA South Sawyer 3 minutes. You're not Leslie. You're one of them. You killed her to give you life... like that fat sow who had her heart... her little beating heart and all that f... Blind as a fucking bat, aren't you? I'm closer than you think. I could be right beside you... and you wouldn't even know. I'm coming. I should've just gone for her. I should've just... I should be with her. Help! Somebody! I'm in here! Help! I'm in here! Goddamn it! In here! Fuck! That's Leslie Davison. You guys go around back. Make sure everything's all right there. Looking for Officer Crowe. They can't hear you. You're dead. You wanted to be Leslie. Well, you weren't good enough. Somebody shoot that fucking car alarm. Say goodbye to the light, Emma. I'm taking back the eyes you stole. Goddamn it, no! Over here! Hold your fire! You all right? You all right? Sir, it's Crowe! Oh, Jesus Christ. Ms. Brody, come with me. Come on. Johnson, take the back. Watch your head. Look, I know all of this has been hard on you... and again, I just want to thank you for everything. I think we got enough now. Sure you don't need to go to the hospital? No, think I've had enough of hospitals... for a while anyway. Let me get somebody to take you home. I'll drop her off, lieutenant. Why don't you take this. Thank you. It's the gray one. I think I've got a ride home. Let me give you your coat. That's all right. It's OK. Thanks a lot. Ralphie. Hello, boy. How you been? What a good boy. Can I buy you breakfast? I know this great little diner. Sure. - Yeah? - Yeah. Well, seeing as you caught the killer... I figured the least I could do... was write you some lyrics. So... There once was a dick from The Windy City Who met this great mick who was, oh, so pretty He told her goodbye... But he had no reason why... That's all I got so far. Well, I was soaked to the marrow I was chilled to the heart I took shelter in her room She called me from the corner Of a song I never liked For the occasion that was in there If I let you inside me Will you stay for long? The one and only While the gray wall crumbles Whatever you are Whatever you want One more time While the gray wall crumbles If I knew now What I knew then I'd run from these blues-soaked hills And I'd go back to the well And chew her white lipstick And her long, slow kisses If I let you inside me Will you stay for long? The one and only While the gray wall crumbles Whatever you are Whatever you want One more time While the gray wall crumbles I'll tell the keeper Bring us something else to smoke While we're naked and alone So they make us immortal So they make us a deal Will it matter when we're naked and alone? Such a beauty with a smile There'll be opportunity And abundance for all But if I let you inside me Will you stay for long? The one and only While the gray wall crumbles Whatever you are Whatever you want One more time While the gray wall crumbles If I let you inside me Will you stay for long? The one and only While the gray wall crumbles When you're an old lady And I'm still around We'll make love in ruins Make love in the strand That's it That's it all right Atten-shun! Shoulder arms! General salute. Present arms! Morning, Hogan! Morning, Sir Arthur. Mon dieu! Milord Wellesley. Eyes down. On y va. Better late than never, Hogan. What's your name? Sharpe. Sergeant. 2nd Battalion, - 95th Rifles sir - I'm much obliged to you. You did me a damn good turn. Now I'm going to do you a damn bad one. I'm giving you a field commission, Sharpe. From this moment on you're a lieutenant in the 95th Major Hogan - meet Mr Sharpe. - Congratulations. Capital choice, sir. The minute I saw him I looked. Hogan says "Aye that fellow don't seem much but he's a natural-born officer " Of course, you know, Sir Arthur, he'll need a mentor. Hogan, you keep your hands off him. Hogan is an officer on... - Ahem! - On my staff. Your colonel will be informed. I'll request light duties till his wound be healed Good day to you both. Light duties, sir. Light duties it is. Absolutely. See here, Sharpe. Light duties means staying at headquarters and being snubbed by snobs. How would you like me to find you something else? As long as it's safe, sir. That's my boy. So the bankers won't budge? Afraid not, Sir Arthur. We need to find Rothschild. I'd like to suggest we add that fellow Sharpe to Dunnett's search party. I make a man an officer today and you want me to send him into the mountains tomorrow. - Have you no heart, Hogan? - No, sir. We need somebody to command Dunnett's sharpshooters, and Sharpe will be much happier up in the mountains than up in the mess. You know the problem, Sir Arthur. Not one of us. Lawford, let me see him. Lieutenant Sharpe. Don't be stupid. Lieutenant Sharpe, sir. Where did you get the uniform, Sharpe? Major Hogan, sir. What's that, Sharpe? - It's a shilling, sir. - The king's shilling, Sharpe. Our last shilling. London's late, the army's broke, and we owe the lads two months' wages. Next week, it'll be three. Bad for the morale. And more of our Spanish irregular support will melt away without cash. - What do you do when you're short of cash? - Do without, sir. You borrow, Richard. From a bank. Our banker is Nathan Rothschild of London. Nathan's brother James runs a banking service from Viennna to Lisbon under Boney's nose Ten weeks ago, James set out from Vienna with the bank draft. He was to travel across France, across the Pyrénées, and into Spain and make a rendezvous at a place called Casa Antigua. James Rothschild never turned up. - But... - Don't! Don't tell me James is a banker travelling across a country at war. James is no clerk. He's done this before. We know he got safely to Torrecastro, and from there headed south and is somewhere in these mountains. So we're going to send out a search party led by... - Dunnett. - Major Dunnett. It means going a hundred miles into occupied French territory. Care to come along, Sharpe? - But... - Good. Tomorrow, I go on ahead. Alone. It attracts less attention and gives me a chance to contact my Spanish agents who are searching, too. A small special force of Rifles attached to Dunnett's force will travel a day behind, in case I need help. That's where you come in, Richard. Want you to command the sharp shooters Sir Arthur. The men you will be commanding must know nothing of this mission in case of capture. That is a secret shared between you and your superior officers, Major Dunnett and Captain Murray Whatever happens, one of you must get through to Casa Antigua. You'll find them camped about three miles north of here. They like to live rough. They expect you at dawn tomorrow. Give this to Captain Murray. Major Dunnett is an officer of the old school, Sharpe. He may not erm... He may not approve of my raising an officer from the ranks Yes, sir. He may not erm... mind his manners. So you must mind yours. Sir. Good luck, Mr Sharpe. Er Richard The shilling. Will he do, Hogan? Do or die, sir. Teresa. Quitalos. Venga, rapido! Arriba! Arriba Allez! Attention! Attention Regroupez-vous! Regroupez-vous Chosen Men, Sharpe. They may look like a band of gypsies but they're the finest marksmen in King George's army. Oi! Soldier. Who goes there? Lieutenant Sharpe. 95th Rifles. Forgive me, sir. I didn't see you proper. - And who are you? - Isaiah Tongue. Chosen Man, sir. Chosen Man? Where are the others, Tongue? In the barn, sir. Sleeping on sentry's a shooting charge. If I catch you again, I'll do it myself. He could have had you shot, Sergeant. Not me. Major Dunnett doesn't like officers made up from the rank s. Come on, Isaiah. I want to see what happens when he wakes Harper. Up! Up you lazy bastards Up! Come on! Blessings are guarding you, friend. Can't you see I'm an officer, you bloody bogtrotter? And I'm Napoleon Bonaparte. Has anybody seen the new officer? Major Dunnett told me to find him. Name? Rank? Patrick Michael Harper. Chosen Man, sir. You? Chosen Man? Show me. What's this? Liquor? Liquor displeases the Lord. Give it here, Harper, so I can destroy it. Oh, blimey. A bloody Methodist. That's best brandy, sir. Top of the morning, Harper. who the blazes are you sir? Lieutenant Sharpe, sir. These are my orders. Sharpe. Sharpe? Are you the fellow - that Wellesley raised from the ranks? - Sir. These papers are in order, sir. Seems Sharpe distinguished himself. Not here he hasn't Brawling with common soldiers! - it won't do Sharpe - No, sir. Harper, you struck an officer. - it's a shooting matter - I woke him up, sir. He thought I was an intruder. All my fault, sir. If you say so. But we have standards here Sharpe An officer must behave like a gentleman. Even if he is not a gentleman. - Yes, sir. - We march in an nor Form a rearguard. Full kit in five minutes! Sweet is the silent mouth, Cooper. Didn't say a word, did I? Strange officer, that. Sharpe. He's not a proper officer. Proper bastard, though. - Name? - Cooper. Sir. Where are you from, Cooper? - Shoreditch, sir. - Previous employment? By way of a trader, sir. In property... and the like. Would that be other people's property, Cooper? - You. - Daniel Hagman. County of Cheshire. Poacher. So, you're a good shot, then, are you, Hagman? Aye, I can shoot, sir. Go on, then. Show me. You've defaced the king's uniform, Hagman. I can put you on a charge for that. - Well? - Harris. From Wheatley in Oxfordshire. And previously? A courtier to my Lord Bacchus and an unremitting debtor. You're a rake and a wastrel, Harris. Is there anything you can do? I can read, sir. Isaiah Tongue, sir. Yes, I know that. Where are you from, - Tongue? - Dunno, sir. Speak up, man! Don't know, sir. What about your family? Don't know, sir. Previous employment? Army, sir. Just army. Why are you here, Harper? You boneheaded Paddy! So... The Chosen Men, eh? Well... I didn't choose you. But remember this I know you all i've always known you you and your kind all my life All I know is how to fight. So if there's any man amongst you expecting a quick ramble through this war, now's the time. Be sure now. Right. Join the column. At the double, left face! Trail arms! Quick march! Halt! Company, halt! It's that way, sir. We'll wait for dawn. Sergeant Williams! Sir! - We'll make camp now. - Sir! All right, lads, make camp. Fletcher, Jones, Edwards - fetch firewood. Morris and Brown - sentries. Column dismissed! Not you Sharpe Take your men up that slope and see what the terrain is like for tomorrow. Well, you heard him. See? We haven't got a proper officer so we get pushed about like potboys. He's not a proper officer. Never seems to tire. Hard to catch him off guard. He let you off light, Sharpe, back in the village. So why so hard? He's just not right, Cooper. He's not happy being an officer. And mark my words he'll bring us bad luck We'll do it tomorrow. In the mountains. Vale. The fire's started. Prepare to fight Down Get down! Or I'll kill him Rifles! To me! Oh, my God. Young Perkins, sir. Not a sound. No! No! Perkins, I want you to protect this pennant with your life. Yes, sir. Never say die, Perkins. Never again, sir. They'll be back for them two. Up! Keep moving! No stoppin' till dark. Tin whistle plays You're in my light, damn you, Hagman! I beg your pardon, sir. But it's Captain Murray. He's poorly, sir. Harris. Figure me this, Harris. Where is the bugger planning on taking us? Sorry to be so much trouble. You did well today, Sharpe. I did my duty, sir. We're lost. And we've lost Hogan's trail. Try to find your way to Casa Antigua. I'll find it, sir. Don't be too hard on the men, Sharpe. How can say this without offence? You see the lads don't like an officer who's come from the ranks They want an officer to be privileged to be set apart from them... touched by grace They think of you as one of them Sharpe one of the damned know now hard it must be Sorry. Of course I don't... I don't know. I'm just trying to think of some practical advice after I've gone. Oh, yes. Get Patrick Harper on your side. Is that an order, sir? I want you to have my sword. Maybe if the men see you carry it... They'll think I'm a proper officer? No, they'll think I liked you. Thank you, sir. Bloody silly place to die. Captain Murray's dead. Bury him. And what then, him? We're lost, aren't we? So we'll be heading south towards Lisbon and home. My orders are we continue north. What for? What are we doing up here anyhow? Did you ask Major Dunnett or Captain Murray to explain their orders, Harper? No. But with all due respect, Captain Murray and Major Dunnett were proper officers. Now they're dead, there's no shame in going home. We go north at dawn to Casa Antigua. Carry on, Harper. We've been having a chat. We? Me and the lads. And? We're not continuing north. We want to go south. MEN Aye - What the hell do I care what you want? Eh? who the hell do you think you are Harper? Do you think the British army is a bloody d-d...? Democracy, sir. Comes from the Greek word demos. It means... Shut up, Harris! Dismiss. I See Captain Murry gave you his sword, sir. The Captain always said a sword like that put the fear of God in the French. We're going south, sir. We'd like you to come with us. And suppose I don't? And I get to Lisbon and report you? They shoot mutineers, Harper. Best if you come with us, sir. I go south or you kill me? That's it? Very well. Fetch my pack, Harper. You Irish scum. Go on! Finish him off! - Harper - Come on Harper - Hit him - He's all yours now Come on Come on You've got him now Come on, Pat! Come on! Come on, Mr Sharpe, sir. Go on! Who the devil are you? Allow me to introduce Comandante Teresa, the commander of the guerrillas who fight the French here And who are you, sir? I am Major Blas Vivar, Count of Matamoro, Major General in the Royal Army of His Most Catholic Majesty, Ferdinand VII, King of Spain. And you sir? Lieutenant Sharpe. 95th Rifles. Only a lieutenant? Perhaps they do not promote you because you fight with your men? That man is a mutineer, sir. He'll be taken back to Lisbon and shot. Tongue, tie him up and take him to the barn. Spain and England, we are allies. TERESA What are you doing here? Don't tell me a stupid lie about being lost 100 miles behind French lines, Lieutenant. We're looking for the village of Casa Antigua. That is all I can tell you. If you were French, I would take a knife and you would tell me all I wanted to know. But we are allies. Allies? Do allies keep secrets from each other? Lovers keep secrets from each other, yet they still make love. Er... Perhaps... perhaps we can help each other That is what allies are for. Good. I'm on my way north to the town of Torrecastro, carrying important documents from my government to those who resist the French. The village of Casa Antigua is on our way north, so we can travel together... under my command. I thought she was in command? Teresa is seeing us safely through the mountains Now'm the senior officer here Do you agree to travel under my command? Yeah. OTHER MEN Yean - I think your men agree. You ask your men what to do? Yes. I don't always do it, but I ask. Don't you? Or do you just beat them until they do it? Agreed. But only until Casa Antigua. Good. We march in an hour. We must hurry. The French colonel will send the scouts after us at dawn. How do you know it's a colonel? Why not a captain? Or a major? Unless you watched us yesterday. Watched us die and did nothing. I'm sorry. So am I. Now, listen. I'm in charge here. Not them, not Harper. I'm in command. You follow me. Speak French, Harris? Oui, certainement, je parle... That'll do. I want two boards and some pitch. Hagman, I want a lantern, a pound of gunpowder and a pound of old iron. Cooper, go on sentry. - And, Perkins... - Sir? Dig a proper grave for Captain Murray. Yes, sir. - Out! - That box on the horse. They never take their eyes off it. I heard your man telling you it was full of old documents. Well, that's not so. You see, a lot of documents is a lot of paper. And paper's heavy. But they lift that box as if it's as light as a feather... sir. Take him out, Tongue. - What's French for "keep out", Harris? - Défense d'entrer, sir. Right. Come with me. Say a short prayer, Tongue. Yea... I say yea. Yea. COOPER French scots sir About a mile back! Fall in, Rifles. French sir Ba Why is that colonel chasing you? He's chasing you A full troop of French cavalry? A full colonel? No, they're after you. Why? Because of what's in that chest Why? Because that chest is full of papers and the colonel is a great reader? That's why? I don't think you're escorting me I think I'm escorting you amigos. Perkins! Get this old goat moving! Look alive, boy! Sir. Move, you bastards! Get up! Saved you for the firing squad, Harper. Perkins tells me that you were once a common soldier, a sergeant. - So I was. - Strange. In Spain, an officer must be "of the blood". Un caballero. righteous but charming A gentleman Sorry, wrong house, Miss. Is that why you have trouble with your men? Perkins told you that, did he? Yes. He said you were a proper bastard. He's right. You may as well know the rest. My mother was a whore. I was born in a brothel. Grew up in an orphanage and hope to die in the army. Right? But the boy Perkins says you saved the life of General Wellesley. And the Irishman, Harper, he says that when the English wish to honour a man of courage, they call him a proper bastard. You listen to soldiers' gossip, ma'am. Yes, I do. You see, we have two ears but only one mouth. So a good leader will listen twice as much as he shouts. I beg your pardon, Mr Sharpe. But she's as dry as a bone. She sparks every time, she does. That rifle does you credit, Hagman. Thank you, Mr Sharpe. Oil sir The secret is not to spare the oil. So General Wellesley says. Aye. Ow! Damn knee! Old leg wound, Hagman. Rain plays the devil with it. Aye. Brown paper and paraffin oil is the only cure for a contrary leg. I has a contrary arm on account of an argument with a French hussar... Oh, bugger it! ...which we had at the Battle of Vimieiro. And which argument he lost, on account of me blowing his head off his neck. But it do itch fierce of a rainy day. And I find nothing work s so well as paraffin oil and best brown paper. - Aye. - Oh, aye. ? Gentle Spanish guitar She's beautiful, is she not? Yes. You never loved a woman? No. Not after I paid for it. So she's like no woman you ever met? I think you should try to forget her. Because, you see she's no longer a woman. She was the best student in Salamanca. She came home to her father's estate. She was young and happy and hopeful. She read book s and played music for her mother and sister, and laughed while she waited for some nobleman to come and ask her hand in marriage. The French came instead. She hid and watched all they did. She saw them blind her father. She saw them rape her mother and sister Maria who begged the French to kill them. They spared her sister but killed her mother. At the end, she was raped as well. When the French were gone, she buried her mother. And on her grave, she made a sacred oath. Death to the French. She plays no music now. Nor reads book s. Nor smiles or sings. But rides the hills and hunts the French and hopes to die. But today I saw her smile. She smiled at you. It almost broke my heart. For that alone, I thank you. Buenas noches. No that one's a bit sad I'll play a reel for Miss Teresa. "Salamanca." - Who goes there? - Sharpe. 95th, the Rifles. Advance and be recognised. Pass, friend. Stand easy, Cooper. Can I ask you a question, sir? Where did you learn to fight so dirty, sir? Same place as you, Cooper. Saturday night in the gutters. Long way from home, sir. It never was much of a home, Cooper. No, sir. That it weren't. Did you volunteer for this lot, Cooper? Er, no, not exactly, sir. I was invited to join by a magistrate. ? Here's adieu to all judges and juries ? Justice and Old Bailey, too ? For they bound me to King George's army ? So adieu to old England ? Then it's over the seas that I wander ? To stand to the red, white and blue ? For they gave me the old King's hard bargain ? So adieu to old England ? Adieu Who untied you, Harper? Miss Teresa, sir. What have you got there? Oh, it's just a little wild bird. Won't it fly away? No. It trusts me. But you're going to put it in a cage. It's cold. It knows it'll get some crumbs in a cage. Thought wild things liked their freedom Freedom to starve is no freedom, sir. Is that why you joined the British army, Harper? Maybe Can't be easy to be Irish. Wearing the uniform of England No harder than it is for yourself, sir, having to walk into the officers' mess wearing the uniform of a gentleman. You fight dirty, Harper. So do you, sir. Morning Miss Teresa Good morning. Morning, Lieutenant. Morning, Miss. Hope you slept well. I slept safely. Thank you. Now, there's a woman worth fighting dirty for, sir. Do you smell danger? I smell French cavalry. Horse sweat and saddle rot. - They were here. - Nonsense. Casa Antigua is ahead. My own people, they would have warned us Smoke. Village on fire! - My village. Vamos! Vamos! - No, it could be a trap. - Is this the only way into the village? - Yes. I'll send scouts ahead. Let my men do it. That's what they're trained for. - Do as he says, Major. - Cooper! Scouts ahead. Lively! Major, I'll leave you to secure your precious box and Rifleman Harper. Teresa, you bring your men with me. - Miguel, Paco, aqui. - Los demás, conmigo. Retira el cofre. Venga, movete. Carlo, José! Mierda. Yargh! Harris! You say you are an Irishman, a prisoner. Why should you be loyal to the British dogs who want to take you to Lisbon to shoot you? Jesus, you took the words out of my mouth. I can help you. Give me the box. Right. Fine. But what do I get? You will be rich. And if I don't? You will be dead. Hm. Well, you're having the best of the argument so far. Who are you? What are you doing here? I'm George Parker, travelling with my wife Agatha and my niece Louisa. We're Methodist missionaries. Any more of us lot around? Tell me, Major, why was the colonel trying to draw you away from the canyon? - Draw me away? - Yes. I speak quite good French. I heard him tell his men to set fire to the village to draw you away from the canyon. That chest. You've lost that chest, Major. I will give you one hundred guineas in gold and safe passage to America. America! That'd be nice. But you see, the King of England owes me last month's wages. There is no way I could rest easy in America knowing that bastard owed me a shilling. You would die for a shilling? That's what I signed on to do. You will have to do it, then. It's a grand day for it. Chapter and verse, Rifleman Harper. Well, sir, I met this old fella who was dressed like an undertaker, sir. There were two other fellas with him - and they asked me to hand over that old box - So? We had a bit of a barney, sir. Rifleman Harper, you have powder burns on your face. These are the telltale signs of a half-loaded rifle A common mistake understandable among raw recruits who sometimes discharge their ramrod in the heat of battle, but unforgivable in a Chosen Man. - It's called going off at half-cock, Harper! - Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. Fall in, Rifleman Harper. Yes, sir. Thank you very much, sir. Wait. Do you not wish your officer to give you some high honours? Oh, but he did. He told me to fall in. Lieutenant Sharpe, I think it better if you now take command. Get down! That fella's the dead spit of you, Major. Something you want to tell me? And what are your orders? Open that chest and tell me what's going on. I'm sorry, not until we reach Torrecastro. My orders are to meet someone at Casa Antigua. But if they are not here... Your fellow countrymen need your protection to Torrecastro. Naturally, as officer commanding, I travel by coach. Just like a proper officer. Then it transpired that my poor uncle had left a small legacy for the purpose of spreading the message of Methodism to the Papists. Ireland was well spread so it had to be Spain. So here we are Mrs Parker and sowing the seed I didn't know Methodists smoked. Oh, it's for my lungs. Sorry. Sorry, I can't. Not yet. Sorry. Gloria patri et filio et spiritui sancto. Sicut erat in principio et nunc et semper et in saecula saecularum Amen Deus, adjutorium meum intende Domine, ad adjuvandum me festina. Gloria patri et filio et spiritui sancto Amen. Sicut erat in principio et nunc et semper et in saecula saecularum. Amen. Rifles! Load. Now I know why they join for life, Cooper. A meal in a monastery is a bit erm... Papist for my Methodist tastes, dear Major. MAJOR the abbot is a Cistercian, but civilised for all that. A toast. Death to the French! ALL Death to the French! Why do you not drink? I never liked that toast, Major. I am a soldier, not an assassin. Another toast, then. A safe journey to Torrecastro. Torrecastro Torrecastro Will you not laugh if I tell you a story about Torrecastro - dear Miss Parker? - I love stories. You have the soul of a Spaniard. Excuse me. Duty calls. I must see to the sentries. Excuse me, ladies. When will you pay me Says the bells of Old Bailey When I grow rich Says the bells of Shoreditch When will the... Oi, blimey! - Sh! Is that you in the dress, sir? Nice. - Give me your picklock, Cooper. - Picklock, sir? Catch me with a picklock? They did. But when you got out of Newgate prison, you got another set. - That's the one the officer wants. - Come on! Do I get it back, sir? Trust me. It's very hard to trust a man who wants to borrow your picklock, sir. So... You could not wait until Torrecastro Very well, you shall hear the story. A thousand years ago the Muslims swept across Spain orn their way to Rome My ancestors made a stand in these mountains at a hard rock we call Torrecastro. They were many. We were few. We died hard. At sunset my ancestor dying called on Sant'lago, St James, the saint of Spain. Sant'lago came. He came with a banner of blood and a bright sword, and he slew the invaders in their thousands. And we dipped his banner in the blood and cried ot "Sant'lago Child of thunder! Child of battle!" The gonfalon. The banner of blood, kept in my family for 1,000 years, lest we needed Sant'lago to keep his promise. What promise, Major? His promise that he would come again if Spain were invaded, as soon as we raise his banner - over the cape of Torrecastro - Get to the point, Major. There's only a small French garrison in Torrecastro. The people of the town know the legend, secretly believe it. As soon as we raise the banner over the little chapel, the people will rise up against the French invader. Rise up? For a rag on a pole? Are you mad, Major? No, it's a legend, Mr Sharpe. The people believe in it. As soon as the gonfalon is unfurled, Sant'lago will surely come with fire and sword. But it takes time to raise the banner. And before it is unfurled... The French will come with the sabre. Exactly That's why we need you. Will you help us fight off the French long enough to raise the banner? You lied to us, Major. And you, Miss. You picked us up and we marched with you, fought for you. And for what? For a stupid superstition. For a... for a rag in a bag. Not a rag, but the last flag of Spain. Be damned to you and your rag, sir. My Rifles march at dawn. South, sir. Good night, Miss. Lieutenant Sharpe! Surprised to see me Richard? Oh you've done a grand job a grand job But now, at dawn tomorrow, with the help of my agent, Comandante Teresa whom believe you've already met I want you to seize the chapel of Torrecastro and hold it against all-comers until Major Vivar has raised the gonfalon of Sant'lago over the chapel roof. Seize Torrecastro? With six men and a straggle of Spaniards? It can't be done. May I remind you of our main mission, sir? - To find a missing gentleman - Not now, Richard. Our mission is Torrecastro. Spain is a sleeping tiger. If the people of Torrecastro rise up, even for an hour, the shock will shake the whole of Spain. - Carry on, sir. - Rise p? Do you really believe men will fight and die for a rag on a pole, sir? You do, Richard. You do. Richard! I knew you would not march to Torrecastro for a superstition. I'm like you. I don't believe in virgins or holy candles, but I believe in Spain. I had to choose between Spain and Richard Sharpe. - I had no choice! - You did your duty. Now I must do mine. Keep him safe and I will light a candle in Torrecastro, Holy Mother. Why didn't you tell him before? His burden is great enough. Besides, it would ruin his voyage of discovery. Prime the pan, close the steel, butt to the ground Charge the barrel, spit the ball, Pop it in with your thumb. Draw the ramrod, ram it home. Put it back in its hole. Bring her back and she's ready to fire - You wanted to see me, sir? - Yeah, er... Teresa has a plan that might improve the odds in or favour I'd like to know what you think, let you decide. Tell me. Torrecastro has strong defences. We can't attack from the outside. But there must be a way in. I will go on ahead. As a Spaniard, I can find it. No! I forbid it. Easy dear boy Easy. I said I'd let you decide, have the last word Oh, forget it. He forbids it. Who does he think he is? Who does he think I am? Evening, Sergeant Harper. - You want to make me sergeant, sir? - Get a needle and thread. I need a sergeant by dawn. I'll never make a proper sergeant, sir. So? I'll never make a proper officer. Indeed you will, sir. You'll make a grand... killing officer Killing officer? God love you, sir. I thought you would have known. There are two kinds of officers, sir. Killing officers and murdering officers. Killing officers are poor old buggers who get you killed by mistake. Murdering officers are mad, bad old buggers who get you killed on purpose. For a reason, for a country, for a religion. Maybe even for a flag. You see that Major Hogan, sir? That's what I'd call a murdering officer Teresa! Oh, that Hogan. He's a murdering officer all right Damn it, Hogan! I wish I were down there. So do I. So do I. But our first duty is to protect Mrs Parker. That's my girl, Teresa. Mmmm! Rica, huh? Tengo otra muy buena para ti. Jesus! No! Mr Sharpe, sir. Lieutenant Sharpe. 95th Rifles. Colonel De L'Eclin. I have the honour to command the garrison in this town. May I present His Excellency, the Count of Matamoro. You know my brother. Major Blas Vivar. I have the honour of knowing the Count. The title of Count is in dispute between us, as, of course, is Spain itself. Why? You're a Spaniard. Why do you fight against your country and your brother? Politics. I am what is called afrancesado... - one who suports France - Why? Bonaparte brings the light of reason. There are two Spains, Lieutenant. My brother's Spain is a monastery - silence and superstition My Spain is a court - science and scholarship. If you were Spanish, - which would you choose lieutenant? - I am neither monk nor prince. So I would choose a tavern. You have 30 minutes to surrender. I suggest you surrender your sword and order your men to lay down their muskets. We don't use muskets. We use rifles. My men are all crack shots. We call them Chosen Men - They never miss. - I will stop you raising the banner, but many men will die for a superstition. Ten minutes, gentlemen. Ten minutes. Hagman. Perkins! Cheeky bastard! - Which one, Cooper? - Left, three o'clock. That'll teach him. Sant'lago, saint of Spain, stand with the Chosen Men. Sant'lago - That's my boy! - Ha, ha! St James! ALL St James! De L'Eclin. No shooting! He's mine! Who fired that? Me, sir. Give him yours, Harper. Chosen Man, Perkins. Take a tip, Perkins. Give it back. Under Major Hogan's orders, I held Torrecastro long enough to effect an uprising. I deemed my duty done and thought it prudent to return to await further orders sir You did damn well, Sharpe. Napoleon will be in a fearful rage about Torrecastro. Heads will roll. Morale will suffer. Which is all to the good. Because next month, I mean to cross into Spain and give Marshal Victor a damn good thrashing. Pity about James Rothschild. I presume - he's left the country? - On the contrary, sir. He's here in this room, sir. Your banker's draft Sir Arthur How did you know? You smelt of Turkish tobacco - a kind you can't get in Spain. You didn't touch your pork at the monastery And remember speaking Yiddish in the coach? Sir, you are an edel mensh. A gentleman Did you know about that banner, sir? Well, I knew you'd risk your life for the army's wages, but I couldn't count on superstition. Time to go. Hasta otra, Richard. No. Sir Arthur's pleased as punch. So you say, sir. Say, is it? And don't I have your promotion for first lieutenant in my pocket. Wellesley's going to take the army into Spain. It'll be bugles, battles and bags of glory. Stick with me, Richard. I'll see you right. You'll see me dead, sir. That's my boy! Oh, well done, Pat. Well done. ♪ Soft music ♪ Give me a week. You know I need the money up front. You know I need the money up front. ♪ Soft music ♪ Mike pritchard line two, Mike pritchard line two. Out of the country for five years. Yeah. Where? Canada. British Columbia. Lumber mills mostly. Have you ever been in prison? No sir. Ok, I'll take you for the rest of your day. But if you're no good, you're gone. ♪ Soft music ♪ ♪ Soft music ♪ Hey! Speaking Japanese. Speaking Japanese ahh. Eeeehhh! Groan speaking Japanese speaking Japanese we need backup! We got him. Shit. Go on get out of here. All right, roll it. Shit! Get down! Are you OK? Who are you? Shit. Who sent you? The unemployment office. We're going for the Lincoln, OK? Ok, we go for the Lincoln. Ok, we go for the Lincoln. Wait a second. What's happening? In the car. They're in the car. In the car. They're in the car. Shoot em! Aahhh. Hang on. Luckily, the bullet passed right through. Just missed a major artery though. And he still lost a lot of blood. Is he going to be all right? What do you want a warranty? No, I want him checking out on me. No, I want him checking out on me. You should have thought about that before you brought him here. But this guy seems pretty tough though. He'll probably pull through all right. Man. That's the biggest god-damn tattoo I've ever seen. What the hell are you doing? Jesus. Guy certainly isn't afraid of needles, huh? How long till he comes to? You got me. This stuff is supposed to keep him calmed down but I'm not sure for how long. This stuff is supposed to keep him calmed down but I'm not sure for how long. I haven't gotten into anesthetics yet you know. Look, thanks a lot. That's what I get paid the big bucks for. Speaking of which, that will be two hundred of them. Right, remember? Yeah listen. Alls I got is thirty right now. Hey, that's nice. 18 karat? Forget it, sentimental value. Sentiment has no value. Sentiment has no value. How about I give you this now and I'll give you the rest next week when I get paid. How about you give me the ring, or I'll dial 9-1-1. Take it, but if you call the cops, I'll find you and I'll fucking bury you. You got it? Christ, get off me man. ♪ Soft music ♪ Are you all right? Do you want some more water? 559-9934. 5-5-5-9-9-3 speaking Japanese speaking Japanese speaking Japanese speaking Japanese speaking Japanese pick your check up inside. You don't work here anymore. Was it something I said? Don't tie a smart-ass. We don't hire ex-cons. Nice Picasso. Actually, it's not a Picasso. Speaking Japanese speaking Japanese speaking Japanese speaking Japanese come in, come. Would you take a drive with me? Nick Davis. I'm free. Thanks. No, I thank you. Mr. tendo also thanks you. Mr. tendo? His family owns the company. I manage his business in this country. What kind of business is that? Import. Import. Import what? Sake? Among other things. We like to depacify. Diversity. Excuse my English. We like to depacify. Diversity. Excuse my English. No, that's OK. Words are pretty much over rated anyway. I agree. Actions speak best. Speaking Japanese speaking Japanese what did he do? He's a traitor. He was involved with the attack. Speaking Japanese honesty is all we ask from those who work for us. There is no honor in deceit. Death doesn't frighten you? No, not if it is for the right reason. No, not if it is for the right reason. My business requires a handy man. Oh yeah? What are you offering? What you gave me. A life. Do I have to drink that shit? When do I start? There you go. That is dino campanela. The head of the campanela family. We believe he was behind the attack. Are you sure about that? Are you sure about that? I will be. What do you want me to do? You will find what you need under the seat. If there is trouble, use it. There you are. How are you doing shuji? Listen, I heard what happened. I'm sorry. If there is anything I can do. Thank you. I'm glad you can make this meeting. Like I said, anything I can do. Let's sit. I want to know why you have ignored our agreement. What do you mean? We haven't interfered with your business. Shuji, you mean you think I had something to do with the hit? Never, never in a million years would I do anything to disrupt our agreement. Our relationship means everything to me than gold and you know that. Our relationship means everything to me than gold and you know that. Come on, shuji, what do you think I am a fucking idiot? What are you trying to say here shuji? Huh? Not me, not my family. Not anyone who has a future on this fucking earth. Someone hires a low life piece of shit that worked for me for five minutes, makes it look like my guys puts you and me in a war together. It's the last thing I want. Do you understand? The last thing. Mr. tendo will be relieved to hear that. Well tell Mr. tendo that he has my full respect, huh? One thousand percent. Thank you. Any time. So? It was him. Really? Yes. Now what? We eat. Come on lets go. Come on. Wow this is a beautiful house. I always thought you guys ate on the floor or something. So how do you like Japanese food? It's good. A little more exotic than I'm used to. Yes, I wouldn't imagine prison food isn't very tasteful. No, but they sure gave me plenty of it. One year is a long time to be locked up in solitary. You seem to be in very good shape. Gee, thanks. Isometrics. And you're not very pale. I'm a quarter apache. Oh, a true American. So, why exactly did you go to prison, Mr. Davis? So, why exactly did you go to prison, Mr. Davis? Now, I don't know how it works in Japan, but in this country it is considered rude to grill your dinner guests. Japanese thanks, sh... Do not be so familiar. What? Shu-short for shuji. That is your name, isn't it? You will call him Mr. swanato. Japanese let's go. Nick saved my life. He has proven much to me already. So you may call me sh... It's a good name, huh? ! Toast. To our friends and our enemies. May they both feel the warmth of our embrace. May they both feel the warmth of our embrace. ♪ Dark music ♪ That's Tommy's. This is crazy. We're just sitting here. Let's go there tonight. Let's make them pay for this. Sure, sure now we're doing drive bys. Just like a fucking street gang. Then what are we going to do? I don't know? I don't know? You know if you put your gun away, it will help you bury your cousin. Italian wow, wow. What did you call me? All right, all right. Enough. Enough. What did you call me? Dino, dino. Dino let him up, dino! Are you listening to me? Are you trying to kill him? Shut up Vic. Yes, I'm trying to kill him. I will kill him. God damn it. Rudy just give the man what he wants, huh? Did I hear you say you were sorry? Tell him? Did I hear you say I'm sorry? Did I hear you say I'm sorry? Jesus Christ. Did I hear you say you're sorry, huh? I'm sorry. I'm going to tell you something. Tendo wasn't a dumb fuck like you. The first thing he is expecting is a strike right now. So we count his hit as a pay back. Let's get back to business, huh? No! Don't you ever fucking talk to me like that again. We let things cool down. We let things cool down. We find out when tendo goes back to Japan. We find out who the fuck the American is he has working for him. Ok, once we got this information, then what? Then we call in our connections. And we blow them off the face of the fucking earth. This is Tony's. Sam? Sam? Man, what took you so long? I'm freezing my nuts off here. I didn't pick this place, tell it to the captain. No, you tell it to the captain. Man he is mad as hell at you! For what? You get sent undercover and the next thing he knows San Pedro looks like v-8 juice. What the hell happened this time? Tendo is in town. Campanela found out and tried to knock him off. Yeah, well I heard they would have succeeded if some asshole hadn't interfered. Yeah, well I heard they would have succeeded if some asshole hadn't interfered. Are you talking about me, Sam? Shit yeah, I'm talking about you. You're supposed to be helping us bring these guys down. Give me a break. You told me to get in deep. I'm in all the way. They didn't teach us this one in the academy, thinks I'm Batman or something. Yeah, well we found Robin floating in the bay with a third eye. What do you mean? The guy who was the manager at the ware house you were working was undercover too. Okasake, okasake? Yeah, they thought he was campanela's man. Hey, thank god they didn't suspect the FBI. Hey, thank god they didn't suspect the FBI. Well neither did I. Am I the next on the line? I don't know that. I thought we were supposed to look out for each other. Okasake used to be yakuza. He pissed off his elders in Honolulu. They down his lower teeth, so we made him a deal. Loyalty. You know they understand that word. So do we. The important thing is you didn't blow your cover. Yeah, no thanks to you. We never had anyone this deep before. We never had anyone this deep before. So you gotta do whatever it takes to stay in, David. You hear me? Whatever it takes. Ok, OK. You take care of yourself. Who sent you? Who the fuck sent you? Geahh! No, get out. Kuzou. Why the hell am I being followed? Why are you having me followed? I understand your anger, but while mr. Tendo visiting we cannot take any chances. Hey look, you hired me. If you don't trust me cut me lose. I don't need some freak with a sword following me every time I take a shit. Are you always this crude? Only when I'm pissed off. Only when I'm pissed off. Then I'm sorry I pissed you off. Oh yeah. I think that's yours. Thank you. You're welcome. Christ. Campanela's? The yakuza's don't mess around. How did you get these? They sent them to you? I think campanela wants us to know what we're up against. I think campanela wants us to know what we're up against. Mafia is warning us about yakuza's? That's rich. Maybe you're right. I just hope our guys can bust them before they start an all out war. Right, what amazes me is how he got so deep, so fast. How good is his cover story? Convict died in solitary so we gave brand his identity. There is no way for yakuza to found out otherwise. But, brant's bio is not exactly call sparking. But, brant's bio is not exactly call sparking. He is a bit of a loner, but he's a solid agent. The FBI is the only family he's got. His parents were a horror story. I don't give a shit about his family life. Can we trust him? Sir, when I started out I worked in the field with brant. He'd run through a wall for you if he believes in you, but you betray him, you don't want to be on the same fucking planet. You don't want to be on the same fucking planet. Wonder boy or not, I'm putting back up on this case. You're the boss. So, so what kind of job? Oh, don't worry Nick. It's an easy job. Easy. Choose one. Easy job, huh? Don't you have a regular guy for this? Don't you have a regular guy for this? He's not with us anymore. We must all make adjustments. Let's go. Wonderful. So where are we gong boys? ♪ Singing ♪ ♪ Singing ♪ Let's go! ♪ Singing ♪ Stay, you are only the watchdog. Speaking Japanese ♪ singing ♪ Hey. Speaking Japanese speaking Japanese you should have bought American. Speaking Japanese hey, guys how's it going? Come on in. Right this way. So you guys want to hear a joke? So there is this little boy. He finds a welders mask. Get out of the Van, fucker, slowly. Let's go jerk off. So the kid is walking down the street and this old mans pulls over and offers him a ride. Come on, Mike, not that joke, Jesus. That joke is older than fire. That joke is older than fire. So the old man leans over and says, so have you ever heard of falatio? And the kid says no. So they drive another mile or two. The guy leans over and says, hey, have you ever head of sodomy? The kid rips off his mask and says, look man, I'm not a welder. I guess you had to be there. Ok, OK, now let's see the Booty. Let's see what he got here. Fully automatic, who did the conversions? Right. Never mind. That's it. That's the ticket, come on. Get down, get down. Take it, take it! Shoot him! Aaah! Shoot him. So do we have a deal or what? Bingo, OK. Mike lets get out of here. Who's that? Who the fuck is that? Mike, Mike. Read me. It goes down now. Right now. So sorry, asshole. Watch your fucking mouth. Freeze, FBI. Oh, shit. On the floor now! Do it, god damn it. Hey, hey, hey. Give it up! Give it up! Fuck you! I'm gonna kill them all. Mother fuckers. I'm gonna kill them all. Mother fuckers. Go on. Get out of here, go on! Get out of here! Go on! Get the fuck out of here! Hold your fire! Hold your fucking fire! I'm FBI damn it. Fuck you. Special agent brant. They fucked up. Special agent brant. They fucked up. Good try, asshole. Speaking Japanese speaking Japanese what happened? We got ambushed. We're lucky to get out. We got ambushed. We're lucky to get out. We lost taka. What about the guns? Gone. It wasn't a complete loss though. Kuauo got it out. We got it out. Wow, this is great. This is your new place, huh? No, yours. Mine? Mine? You don't like it? No, no. I mean yeah! It's just that it's so big. You know, for one person. Perhaps that will change. What kind of bullshit is that? You told me to do whatever it takes to stay in. You told me to do whatever it takes to stay in. That didn't including shooting your fellow agents. Those guys should have never been there. That's not the point. That's exactly the point. God damn it David. You shot three agents. I winged them. I tried to keep them alive. Which is more than they did for me. They didn't know who you were. I told them. I surrendered. What do you want me to do? So are you taking me off the case or what? No, I wish I could. Believe me I wish I could, but no. Is that it? You risk blowing my cover to chew me out? You risk blowing my cover to chew me out? No, littman told me to find out if you had gone nuts. So, I'm going to tell him you haven't, right? You tell him whatever you want. Oh no. I'm going to tell him that you haven't, right? Will that be all? Yeah. Hi. Hello, Mr. Davis. I am yuko. How are you doing? Mr. sawamato said you found this place empty. He hoped that I may help you fill it some how. How are you going to do that? I'm an interior decorator. Oh yeah? So why did sawamato pick you? Oh yeah? So why did sawamato pick you? He said that was your choice. That you had described exactly who you wanted. So you work for him? No. Mr. sawamato is my god-father. So who is he, Vic? We don't know yet. Don't know yet? That's very impressive, Vic. We're spread a little thin right now, dino. Yeah, right. Shit. What's this I hear about you and carmine settling down? We want to buy a house, you know. We want to buy a house, you know. A house, what like this house? No, not like this. What's wrong with this house? Oh come on, huh? I don't need anything big. What the fuck does need have to do with it? Do you think I need fourteen bedrooms? Do you think I need eight rooms to take a shit in? Christ Vic, if all I had was what I needed, I would be living in a cardboard box with a fucking blow up doll. I have this incredible house because it makes a statement about who I am. It says, I am a force to be reckoned with. It says, I am a force to be reckoned with. What you are Vic? You know it's time you stop jacking off and started making a serious commitment. Not to just carmine, but to this family. And the rust and most important step in doing that is to, stop thinking about what you need and start talking about what you want. Well, I want respect. Well, I want respect. You want respect? You take out tendo. You put him out of business. I don't care how you do it. He'll have all the respect you need. And then we'll talk about the house. ♪ Dance music ♪ ♪ Dance music ♪ Hi. Hi there yuko. Shuji! So happy you could make it. Well, my client insisted. Yuko said she needed to know more about me. I'm kinds of helping her do her job. Good idea. Hi, yuko. Hi, aja. Speaking Japanese I'm so happy to see you again. Nick, this is aja. She is my manager here. Hello. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Oh, this is the man who saved you. He's the one. I was in the right place at the right time. I want to talk with yuko. Come on. Let me show you the place. It's been a difficult week. Yeah. Campanela, taka, thank you Shelly. And now our connect at the Mexican boarder has been killed. Do you know who did it? I think maybe his wife killed him. No, shit. These things happen. I do know this guy in San Diego. I do know this guy in San Diego. When I was in high school, I used to smuggle a little pot, you know. Then I would cut him in on the action. And he still works the boarder. Sounds promising. And the best this is, he doesn't have a wife. I like you Nick Davis. I think fate brought you to me. Well here's to fate. And to family. What's wrong? What's wrong? I've offended you? No, I was just thinking about something. Tell me. Tell me about your family. Well my father was drunk and my mother was drunk. They should have never had a fucking kid, you know. The yakuza is my family now. It gives up absolute loyalty and trust. We take care of each other. We take care of each other. Sounds all right. It is. You will like it. Nick, go dance with her. Yeah. Thanks for the tie. You like it? Yeah. Speaking Japanese speaking Japanese ♪ soft dance music ♪ What's the matter, did I step on your foot? No. Is it my breath? No. Well, what's wrong? Well, what's wrong? We bare in public. Oh I see. What is the story with those guys anyways? Are they- they are very special to each other, yes. Uh-huh, like what? Are they engaged? No, they will never marry. Why not? Why not? Mr. sawamato's position in the family places him at great risk. They have both decided it would be safer to remain apart. That's bullshit. I mean look how happy they are, you know? Look as shu. I wouldn't want to hide that. Neither would I. ♪ Slow dance music ♪ ♪ Country music ♪ Hey! Ahh! Get your hands off me. I'm waiting for Nick Davis, man. Oh fuck! He's a little rough, but he's a great guy. I know you'll like him. Hey, Nick what's happening, buddy. You're looking good, buddy. You're looking good. You're looking good, buddy. You're looking good. You OK? Yeah buddy, cool. Mr. sawamato this is my friend, bill Jenkins. Hey, how about that trade deficit. Getting bigger every day ain't it? It's good to meet a friend of nicks. Sure thing. Me and Nick go way back. We used to hang out and do things I wouldn't even do with my brother. We got some stories we could tell don't we Nick. Hot one ain't it Billy? Yes, it is. Hey I'm sorry man I forgot. You people don't have deserts and this dry heat do take some getting used to. Especially if you're going to be wearing suits out here. Especially if you're going to be wearing suits out here. Mr. Jenkins. Yeah? We are busy men. Me too. So you do know what we need. Oh yeah. Nick you said you have some big stuff you need greased through the boarder. Yes. Well I handle the number three artery into California, the night shift. I could smuggle through a heard of elephants if I had enough capital. That's true. Billy here is the very best. He's your man. So what do we move? So what do we move? When the time comes, we'll let you know. Sure thing, konnichiwa. I've been studying. I might be playing baseball in Tokyo next year. I'll call you. Ok, partner. All right. So what do you think? He was nervous. It's a big opportunity, anyone would be. Are you sure about him? Absolutely. Then I am too. ♪ Soft music ♪ ♪ Soft music ♪ Plain ones or the patches? Nick? What's wrong? Nothing, I was just admiring your work. Nothing, I was just admiring your work. Really? It is not finished. I can wait. Is it my breath? No. Nick, we are not in public. Nick, we are not in public. ♪ Soft music ♪ Mr. sawamato wants to see you. Why? You will come with me. Now! I'll get my coat. ♪ Soft music ♪ Nick Davis, will you join us? Yeah. Speaking Japanese having drunk from the old yaba's cup, and he from yours, speaking Japanese speaking Japanese you shall be accepted as part of the tendo family and have shuji sawamato as your brother. Speaking Japanese even should you stop, even at the cost of your life. Speaking Japanese your duty is now to the family, through fire and blood form now until the day you the die. Through fire and blood form now until the day you the die. ♪ Soft music ♪ You knew about the ceremony, didn't you. I could hardly keep it a secret. An American being accepted into the family is not something that happens every day. Neither does this. Neither does this. Speaking Japanese speaking Japanese speaking Japanese speaking Japanese ♪ soft music ♪ Why don't you go back to fucking canine where you belong? Will you fucking let go of me! Somebody tell me what the hell is going on here? Wonder bitch just blew the shit out of my cover. There is nom ore cover, it's over. It's over, what do you mean it's over? The whole operation. A new ballgame. Something is about to come down and we want you out of harms way. What's he talking about? What's he talking about? We heard that dino campanela is gearing up to hit the entire tendo family. What? What are we going to do about it? Nothing. Nothing, what do you mean nothing? That's enough. I'll take it form here. What do you mean nothing. See ya around. Suck my ass. This is fucking ridiculous. Agent Brandt. You're in my office. Agent Brandt. You're in my office. Let me make it easy for you. We know how to deal with the mob. The yakuza's are very different and dangerous. They get a food hold in this country and we are screwed. The campanela people will do for us in twenty four hours, what would take another two months in the field and three years in court. I know these people. It's pretty damn clean, actually. When is this going down actually? As far as we know, immediately. I'd like to thank you agent brant for your hard work on this project. I'm sorry it couldn't have gone to better use. Maybe next time. ♪ Dark music ♪ I know what you're thinking. Get the fuck out of my way. You can't interfere in this. Sam, how can you sit back and let innocent people get slaughtered? Innocent people? Jesus Christ man, have you lost your mind? They're not innocent people, they're the yakuza's. They're the bad guys remember? Yeah, I remember. Good, then maybe you'll accept this as a professional. Littlman has you booked on a flight to Hawaii tonight. Littlman has you booked on a flight to Hawaii tonight. Look it's for your own protection. You did such a good job that even campanela is fooled. He thinks you're yakuza. And if he's hitting the tendo family, you're going to be very high on that list. Ok. Now listen, you're going right? I'm going, I'm going. Hey thanks. ♪ Dark music ♪ Yuko? Nick, Nick! Help me. Help me. Yuko! ♪ Somber music ♪ I will kill campanela if it's the last thing I do in this lifetime. Wait, sh... I was wrong, you will never understand, never. You should all feel proud. The Japanese have been strong and cunning people. But tonight we proved that American drive and know how is still number one. Tonight we drink from our enemies cup. We eat from our enemies table. And we celebrate in his most proud room. Tonight the victory is complete. Go clean these. I'll do it right away. So let's hear some fucking music. Sit down. Johnny, bring my big number one scotch. A beer is fine. Tonight you drink like a man. Look who I found hiding here. Look who I found hiding here. Well, well the entertainment has finally arrived. Poor little buttercup. Come on baby, come on, it's a party. Have a drink with the new owners. Come on you bitch. Hey, do you think this is absolutely necessary? I'm holding you responsible for this. Apologize. Kill him, Vic. Apologize! Kill him! Vic, you're a fucking coward. Come on you wanna fucking kill me? You think I'm scared of dying? Ha, fuck you! Fuck your people. Fuck your whole fucking race. Shu! Yo yakuza. So, what is your real name? David. I like Nick. Stay still, stay still. Get my sword. Get it. You picked the wrong fucking side. I'm sorry. We were supposed to do this in the next life. I understand. Watch my back. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. ♪ Somber music ♪ ♪ Somber music ♪ I'm up. Ellington, I'm up. I'm up. I'm up. She don't want to believe that the boy is using drugs... but he comes home every day with bloodshot eyes... and then he eats everything in the kitchen. She knows he didn't get those red eyes... from being in the library. I hear the boy can't even read. Good morning, Mr. Moses. What do you think? You think this is something, check this out. What do you think? Look, girls, y'all just gonna have to wait in line. Mr. Moses, let's make a trade. I'll trade you The Best of Wynton Marsalis... for Duke Ellington and Billie Holiday. Never! I would never give up any of my records for anything. It would be like cutting off one of my hands. Jeff, you're right. Got to go younger, huh? Yeah. I'm getting me girls on Soul Train. Have a good day, Mr. Moses. - Good morning, Mrs. Walker. - Morning, Jeff. Thanks again for the tickets tonight for that show. No... thank you. When the Georgetown Three make it big... I'm going to say, "Special thanks to Mrs. Walker... "who let me slide on my rent when I didn't have it. "This Grammy's for you." Have a good day. Hey, Jeff, ready for tonight? You know I am. First show's sold out. Second one's almost there. - Cool. - And this device I invented... will monitor the vibrations of the audience. - That's great. - Just keep the music coming... from the baddest jazz trio in D.C.! And I got some women lined up for you. Michael, I told you. I don't want to meet anybody. Come on, Jeff. You got to get over Stacy. It's been four months since you broke up. You got to move on, experience life. - You're right. - Anyway, first show... Debra's bringing her cousin Denise. She's kind of fat, but she's got a cute face. Cool, cool. Second, Anita's bringing her girl. Says she's a ten. - A ten? - Uh-huh. Without a weave, she's a six. That's cool. I got to go. Warden. Just appease her. With this baby here, you won't be here much longer. Move over, Wynton Marsalis. Cool. Aren't you going to say excuse me, Dre? Excuse me. Thanks again for calling, Mr. Reed. If he gets out of line again, I will be back. Keep it! Ahem. Excuse me, Mr. Reed. Mrs. Laws is waiting for you. You wanted to see me? Well, you've done it this time, Mr. Reed. What did I do? Look. Louis, what happened to you? You. You're the one filling his head up with all this junk. We have taught this boy to stand up for himself... to fight the bullies, but he doesn't listen to us. He said, "Mr. Reed teaches us differently. "Mr. Reed said that we should run from the bullies..." and that Mr. Reed encourages the smaller kids... to practice running, hiding, and eating their lunch quickly! I didn't say "quickly." I said "rapidly." - I was trying to help. - Well, thanks to your help... every bully at this school is beating him up. A younger girl did this to him! Mr. Reed, have you ever stood up to anybody? Or better yet, have you ever had your butt... Mrs. Williams, I'll handle it from here. Mr. Reed, may I remind you... that you are just a substitute teacher? No more of this. I was simply talking about how life is. I don't care. Teach only from the books and not your philosophy on life. That's all for now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. If you have the meetings in the evening... nobody wants to come out. Everybody's just so afraid. It's a question of what you people really want to do. Do you want this community or what? Ted, I realize that we are the community. That's right. Nothing's going to happen until we do what I said. Are you down with o.p.p.? You know me. I really do understand that. We just can't go around... Let's cross the street. Put your hand down. - Hey, man. - You want this? What for? I ain't crossing' the street for nobody. Leave me alone, Maxine. - Dad, come on. - Ted, don't be crazy. - Are you scared? - Yeah, I'm scared. I don't have to prove nothing to nobody. I want to see a hero, I'll rent Rambo. You go ahead on, then. We got to get these young people involved in this. What did I just say? I said give me the green. You lucky that didn't break, old man. See you later, old man. Don't see me later. See me now, punk... 'cause I ain't crossin' no street. Damn. Gangs only take over because you let them. If you would've challenged them, they'd think twice. You know they got us living like animals... with bars on every window, alarms on every car. All I'm saying is, if we would just patrol our streets... like right here at Drake's Place... where all the drugs are... and with everybody wearing one of these hats. Show them those hats, Maxine. If everybody wore one of these caps... they'd know that we meant business. - Ma. - Don't you have a show to do? He needs money again. Your brother Kenny never asks for anything. Dad! How much? I just need ten dollars for gas. You know, you should be coming to some of these meetings. This is your community, too. You listen to what Mrs. Walker's talking about. That's right. This whistle will be a signal to everybody who hears it... to call the police. You crazy if you think... I'm going to walk up some dark alley... with a loud orange hat on my head and a whistle. I can see the headlines now... "Golden Lords kill old man in loud orange hat... "and stuff a whistle up his butt." Ernest is right. This patrol is a dumb idea. Oh, Elvira! No. It's time we stuck together. Mom, Dad, I got to go to the show... but she's right. We can't win. Don't upset your father. Ernest, I need you to help me here, man. Listen, what about the kids in this neighborhood, huh? Damn. They took my radio and my bass. What's going on? Dre. Squirrel? Lords! This is your initiation. You want to be a Golden Lord? Then get him. Lords! What's up, fellas? Where's he at? What, y'all just gonna stand around here looking stupid? Split up. Come on, Dre, he ain't stupid enough to hide in there. You see something over there, Squirrel? Nobody. All right, Golden Lords, move out. Come on, move out and check every corner. Move out, Golden Lords! Watch it. Watch it. I got you. I got you, OK? All right. Let's... Easy. OK. OK, let's go. Clear a path, please. People, please, move out of the way, please. Keep this door open. Come on, open the door. - Bring him in. Is he conscious? - No, ma'am. - Oh, my God. - Calm down. He's going to be all right. He's going to be all right. We'll cut him right here. Gauze. - That's good. - On your left. Thank you, nurse. Dr. Simmons, take a look at this. Heavenly father... I know everything happens for a reason... so I'll just leave it in your hands. Amen. Excuse me. I need somebody to talk to about my friend. I'm worried about his condition. What time you get off work? I just want to discuss his condition. Visiting hours are over. Good night. You're doing much better, Mr. Reed. Don't try to talk. You need your rest. My name is Vanessa, and I'm going to take great care of you. Understand? Just push the button on the side of the bed... and I'll be there. Are these the same X-rays? Jefferson, Jefferson Reed. Mary, would you give me the blood vial on this patient? "Jefferson Reed." The patient's name is Jefferson Reed. Dr. Jones, you're needed immediately... in patient Jefferson Reed's room. Cut the bandages away. Oh, my God. Let me have a mirror. This is how I always look. What we have here is another case... of a patient being diagnosed improperly. He was suffering from third-degree burns... but there isn't any scar tissue anywhere. Any real doctor might assume that this is... a rare case of the Stromburg theory... where badly burned tissue has an adverse reaction... causing the tissue to heal. - Wrong! Wrong. - I beg your pardon? Wrong. The Stromburg theory states... that minor burns could heal under stress, not third-degree. Look in the book... page 294, 3rd paragraph, middle of the page. - He's right. - Thank you. Dr. Jones wrong. He don't know what he talkin' about. You really should reread chapter fourteen. Chapter fourteen? Please, tell us why. In chapter fourteen, he starts out talking about... What was I saying again? Thank you very much for your medical tips, Mr. Reed. I just want to run a few more tests... and you may leave whenever you're ready. Oh, no, Mrs. Johnson. They just called me, and I... They said it was on the floor. I didn't understand. Really. Please try to forgive me and understand. I'm just new here. It's my first day. If I'd known it was down there... You sure you'll be OK? I'm really very sorry. Please try to forgive me. If you need anything, just call me. Anything you want... I'll be outside. Phil, when you get a chance, take a look at this article. It has been a day! Dr. Jones is a piece of work. Had me running back and forth. I can't wait to get out of here. No. I'm talking about the one right there. No. Look over there, girl. Stop. He's all right with me. He's cute. Of course he's cute. That's why I'm telling you to look. You having a problem there, Jessica? Yes. I put my money in there, and it keeps eating my money. I can see through their clothes. This is weird. I can see through... anything. May I help you? Where's Vanessa? Vanessa? What can she do for you that I can't do? I can do everything she do, honey, and a whole lot better. Walking around here, thinking she cute... showing them little pencil legs. Honey, I seen better legs on a pool table. And another thing... Vanessa this, Vanessa that... talking about how cute she is. I've seen something at the zoo cuter than she was. Come on, get in there with your half-dead self. Thank you. Let me tell you something. Here's my phone number. Call me, sweetie. We can get together, have champagne at my house. The bubbly kind, you know? And I got one of them little bikini nighties, you know? See-through. We now run the market in D.C., Baltimore... and Philadelphia. At the rate we're going, in three months... we'll be ready to make the move on New York... because if I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere. Goldilocks. Hello, Mr. Byers. How are you? That's great. The boat comes in tonight. You brought me back something? Nothing. We're just about to have lunch. Hey! Hey, boy. Did you miss me? Did you miss me? Hey. I know you did. I missed you, too. Are you hungry? You want something to eat? OK, let's get something to eat. Let me see what we got here. Let me see. Chicken, liver, beefy beef. Come in. What up? Got you your mail... bills, bills, Upscale, Jet. Michael, I can talk to Ellington. Watch. Man, this is crazy. You barked. The dog barked. Trippin', Jeff. That's right. You can't hear me talk to Ellington. Michael, something happened to me. I can touch a book and for thirty seconds... know and do everything in the book. I mean, grab any book in this house. All right. Jet. I know you ain't read this one yet. Touch it. Put a stop to this madness right quick. OK, page twenty. People page. Names... Karl W. Taylor, Eric Sawyer. - Page thirty-three. - Society world. It's a photo of a couple that just got married. Centerfold. What does she do? She's an actress, a model... a dancer, and a dental technician. She enjoys cooking and hip-hop. She's wearing a black bikini, and she's fine. Yes! What's her measurements? Thirty-eight... After you touch it, it only lasts for thirty seconds. You really got superpowers! That's what I've been trying to tell you. - Man, this is wild. - Check this out. Jeff, you were hit by a meteor. Think anybody else got superpowers? Larry? Larry, come in here. Something's wrong with this TV. What's wrong, Mary? The channels keep changing by themselves. They keep what? Fix it. It's this thing. It's this right here. Oh, see, I know what's wrong. I know what's wrong. Let me tell you what's wrong with this TV. Them kids been here, that's what's wrong with this TV. No, Larry, the kids have not been in here. No, them kids been in here. Trust, OK? They been in here playing that hindindu, OK? And I told them don't be playing the hindindu with my TV. That's why I got a four-bedroom house for everybody. Everybody have a room. In other words, you can't fix it. I can fix this. That ain't no problem. I fix things for a living. That's my job... to fix things. - What's up, Mr. Reed? - Hey, Mr. Reed, how you doing? From goons to mafia, from hooligans to terrorists, I gave every one bad dreams. But one thief disturbed me very much. Not one or two, he committed 14 thefts. He decamped with Rs.150 crores. Government handed his case to me. Don't know why he's doing it, don't know where is he, how is he, nobody knows it. I stood for him... I called him to take me... I changed my face... Cheated everyone... I appeared strange... I raced up the heart's pulse... Teased mischievously... Stole sleep from the eyes... Anyone will go bonkers or finished if he sees me... If I allow him to touch me, anyone would become my slave... If I give little liberty on me, anyone will go mad... Anyone would die in the fire of my desire... It's run into the wilderness... It's fire of passion of fans... This attack is fatal... Nobody can stop this stealing of hearts... If you make a request, you'll enjoy the fun... If you tease with romance, I'll take you to the bliss... It seems he's a latest thief. Without any discrimination, he's robbing every one. The doors remain closed but the money inside vanishes. That's the magic! Forget all this, I'm giving you full powers as the Home Minister. Close down his file swiftly. - First theft... - July 5th. It happened on 5th. 12 thefts in 10 months. According to you, it's Rs.75 crores. Much more according to me. He didn't spare anyone. Before robbing doctor, his name appeared on newspaper a day earlier. Lawyer appeared on TV a day earlier before he was robbed. He robbed Minister's home a day after he commented on the thief. All his victims were news makers before getting robbed by him. He's leaving clues to us and enjoying our inability. He's not a regular thief. Hey you! Did you read the files already? I read him well. If my guess is right, his next victim is here amongst us. - Who? - You only! You gave an interview to TV9 channel, right? Is there any rule that your guess will come true? He took charge and shot him. Check thoroughly and kill without missing him. All your search is in vain, because I'm his next target. He'll definitely come for me. I shot a bullet into him, right? He likes challenge. He'll definitely counter attack me. Somebody gave this for you, sir. I'm going to rob Rs.20 crores from him in an hour, be ware! We have an hour only, we must find who is he. Inform all TV channels. Fast! Who is he? Doctor? Politician? Who are you man? I'm a peon in Revenue office. Remember that while doing your duty. It seems you refused to do household work. Why are you so proud? Sir, madam... Don't talk, go get me a tea. Rs.20 crores? ! Who is the mad man to say that? We don't have time, tell us the truth. I beg you sir, please leave me. You're hiding something, please co-operate. Co-operate? What do I've? Nothing, let him come and take it. Would I be like this if I had Rs.20 crores? Leave me sir. Sir, he has two bank accounts, both are empty. What's this trouble sir? If I don't get tea, my boss will dismiss me sir. I'm going sir. A link is missing. He won't lie...no way. Why did he send his photo then? He's a thief, why should he tell truth? He can lie to us, right? May be the peon is lying. Thank God! My money...crores of my money, where is it sir? You said you'd no money. Not mine, it's Minister's. Why didn't you tell the truth earlier? How can I sir? I'm a proxy, trusted proxy of Minister. He punched me and took everything. Who is he? How does he look? Rajinikanth...superstar Rajinikanth punched me and took everything. I swear on my mother, it was Rajinikanth! My money...my money... where's my money? Mother promise, superstar Rajinikanth took it away. Bloody crap! Rajinikanth took it? Why would he take it? How would I know sir? May be he's starting a new party? Oh God! He has robbed me clean. I earned that money by every mean I could in all these years of public life. I beg you, please tell me, where's my money? I don't know anything sir, I'll fall at your feet sir. Hey Officer! You took charge with a promise to catch him, I lost crores of rupees, do something I say. No expression on face, do something I say. Thank God, he plucked few strands of hair only sir. Wait my partner...wait... I was expecting your call. How are you? Partner? Who is your partner? You helped me in robbing, right? Actually I knew that Minister's money is with the peon. After I made you my partner in the plan and you caught him, I came to know where's the money, it means I made you also my partner in the crime, right? Want me to send your share of the booty, partner? I like you... You're making a grave mistake by making me your partner. You became my partner the day you shot a bullet into me. If I had been your partner I would've shot the bullet into your heart. Wantonly I shot 6.4 inches away from your heart. You're terrific, partner, but you don't know about me. Stealing isn't your profession, you're doing it for fun. You like challenges. You can guess it from my modus operandi, say something new. Your body can bear anything. You can say it looking at my body, say something new. You trust your sense of timing, you're cocksure nobody can catch you, above all you're good in making caustic remarks. You can judge it from my words, say something new, partner. If my guess is right, you're near by, looking at me while speaking to me. Your guess is perfectly right. One more thing, you're the best one to catch me, but do remember one thing, I'm always top and you're always down. You can never catch me. You've hurt my ego unnecessarily, and challenged me, wherever you may hide, I'll hunt you down. How can you catch me, partner? Do you know how do I look like? You don't know. Do you know where would I be? You don't know. Do you know who's next victim? You don't know. Do you know where would I be tomorrow? You don't want to meet the character in your story, but I want to meet the character in my story, actually I'm here to catch him. What? In the arrogance that I can't catch him, he left a clue for me. Do you know where would I be tomorrow? He didn't call me a loser. It's a clever clue he gave me. I took two days to crack it. This is not just a word but the flight number he took to Malaysia. Right now he's in this city only. He can't escape from me this time. I'll catch him even if his shadow falls on me. Can you guide me to this address? And you...? I too don't know. I'll fix engagement next week as you wish, I'll make other arrangements. Sister...congratulations, your engagement is fixed next week. - He ignored me. - Who? Who else? That kick guy! Bloody idiot! Is Kalyan here? When? Where? Why are you so excited? Why did he ignore me? I am sure he's here to ruin my life. It's him, right? It's not him...it's not him... it's him... I'm sure it's him. We believe that you'll catch that thief. You need any help sir? I need a journalist. I'm here for my partner. I'll definitely find him. Your interview was rocking, your still in the paper is very glamourous. You've a good photogenic face. Have you settled in Malaysia? How's your accommodation? Very good, but weather is hot like you. I thought you'd come to marry here, have you come here cracking my clue to catch me? I feel like shaking hands with you, will you give me a chance? Don't rush off buddy, I'll put handcuffs if I get you not shake hands with you. Even if you refuse, I'll shake hands with you. You couldn't catch me in India, how can you catch me in Malaysia? Aren't you over expecting, partner? When I've come so far using your clue, can't I come to you, partner? You can't! I'm giving you another opportunity, catch me before December 16th, after that even if you want to catch me, I won't get caught. This is your last opportunity. Thanks, I gave that interview to lure you, I know you'll call me back, and you got caught. You gave a good knock-out punch, I'm your fan. Hello partner, you've made me run long distance, I'm new to Malaysia, where do you want me to go? Want me to take right or left side? I'll take the left side. Partner, helicopter also to catch me? You've so much power here? I need to speed up. I need to run! Why are you so moody? - Is it about him? - No. New movie has opened, shall we go? No mood. It's him! Why is he entering hospital? This is a special case from India, he has forgotten the past with a blockage after being hit on head. He's under observation, take care of him. What's this silly meeting going on here? Somebody has hijacked my patient. Why are you staring at me? I'll rip out your skin if you don't answer me. He's missing since two days, I've high BP also. If I get angry, I'll... ...this is my weakness. If I don't find my patient, I'll not spare anyone of you. He's a doctor, why is he behaving like this? - He's not a doctor. - Then? He's the memory loss patient we were just discussing about. When he was brought here... Tell me, who am I? If you don't, I'll jump down... Who am I? Where am I? I know... We were scared he may kill himself. Now...? Please...take one injection... let me give you one shot... We are now scared he may kill one of us. - Why? That's what confusing us, why did he suddenly change like this? Somebody has influenced powerfully and changed him. He has a patient also in our hospital. Where did you go? That is...there... Bloody! Do you know how tensed I was without seeing you for 2 days? With the problem you have... what's that? - Memory loss. Where did you go? Forgot the hospital address and took time to come here. What happened, doctor? He's under observation. What are you thinking, doctor? Sometimes I've a doubt... Will you please step out once, doctor? Give that to me. How many times do I've to tell you? You're a doctor and I'm the patient. Bloody, you... You're a patient, I'm a doctor. That's what I said. How dare you manhandle me? I will... Take it. How dare you beat me! Cerebellum is damaged, cerebrum is battered. Totally his brain has busted. You mean he can't remember the past? Why not? Didn't I get it on getting beaten up? He can remember if anyone rakes up his past. He can if he's beaten up day and night. Are you feeling for him? He was mad after kick, so he lost his brain. Now I'm peaceful. No tension. I thought he would come to disturb us. You don't want him but you want the gift he gave, right? She's much more clever than what I expected. Why would you believe me? But she doesn't know about me. If plan A fails, I've a plan B. - Play the band! - Play the band! ABCDEFGHI... Matter is little serious. No! Hit high pitch! How long will you sing the same line? Come to the point. Boss, we've memory loss... That's it! Boss, we've memory loss... Past has vanished... life is at full blast... Hit the lucky chance... What's this in between lines from film 'Chandramukhi? I don't remember anyone, I've lost my memory... Not like Rajini but like Ghajini... Brain is empty... totally it's gone... I'm having a good time, don't keep your face dull... Ex-girl friends who have left me... And those silly clashes... I'm saying thanks to the mental peace I'm enjoying now... Good or bad, sweet or bitter, she's not seen flash is not leaving me... Life without love is better... Who will bear that nonsense all the life... Poor Devadas fell for Paru... Your lover is somebody else's wife... This life is better... It's better than intoxication... Silence is much better... Spend life with empty heart... Always fresh is the base of life... Won't every day start fresh for you? He's Devadas...no he's Kalidas... This is fine for us... We've memory loss... Hey Babe! My heart will never stop... Isn't this loss, a big profit for us, boss? No battles or wars or without history, this life is a curse... So my dear, buddy... This life is not a curse but a big boon... Oh God! I'm stuck! Is memory loss a boon to you? I feel... Hey stay out! I'll kill you... bloody, I'll kill you... Let's escape! Is she so angry on me, bloody bitch? Why did you beat him severely? I should've killed him. He's happy forgetting the past. Enjoying life. While falling in love, he was happy, while in love, he was happy, even in separation, he's happy. Is forgetting past a boon? Bloody, I'll kill him... Sister! You beat him, right? Leave him. I'll not leave him simply. What will you do? I'll make him remember our past, I'll make him remember our love, when he remembers everything, I'll marry Kalyankrishna then. He must die in jealous. And I must watch it. What if our parents know it. I'll not tell, you too don't tell anyone. I'll play with his life taking him to home. This bracelet was made in India, buyer's details are taken before selling it to them. First find the jewellary shop. If you give this bracelet number, they will give the buyer's details. Kinsman, our children have agreed to marry, I'm very happy. Yes, I never felt so happy even when I made billions. That's why I'm throwing this party. You said your son-in-law lives in Malaysia, where's he? They are also beautiful! Didn't I say, I'm Jiguru Jingania? I didn't tell my name, right? 'Run' Prakash Raj. Dear, didn't your short man come with you? What's this dad? All can't be tall like you, look down, dad. Have you come, son-in-law? Why did you come so late, brother-in-law? What's this new get up? That is... Kinsman, my son-in-law. Nobody knows when I'll come. Do you know why you're here? Just a joke. Jokes apart, why did you change your name? That is... It seems you're here for a year, and refusing to go to India. What's the matter? I made an attempt to murder. I tried to kill a police officer in India by planting a bomb in his car. It happened because of a girl and a boy, I got scared of getting lynched there, so I came to Malaysia. Just a joke! It's not a joke, bloody fools! It really happened. Come on brother-in-law, where's my sister? - My son-in-law. - Son-in-law? Oh God! I got wedged! What if they come to know I chased this girl? My brother-in-law will break my back. They both were in love there, why are these two marrying here? He's no ordinary man, he'll not give up so easily. Where could he be now? Can you guide me to this address? This is the place. By the way, you are...? I too don't know when will I come. I don't know what had happened to me. I don't know why I'm here. What's going on here? I invited you. He's my friend Kalyan from India. He's my fiance. I'll put handcuffs if I get you not shake hands with you. Even if you refuse, I'll shake hands with you. He's a memory loss patient, he's here for treatment. He'll stay with us from now. Okay dear. No need to feel sorry, I'm very happy. Instead of feeling sad thinking about silly past, I'm peaceful happy now. You bloody! Sister! What's this? Have you gone mad? Why are you bringing to our home? What's your game? My plan is... Are you playing games? May I tell you? You fool! Who are you? Are you trying to play with me in India and my brother-in-law here? Has he forgotten the past? Is that why he didn't recognise me? Hey Kick! Now I got you in my hands. Give me some of your revenge, allow me to stay with him, I'll make him see stars in day time. One small request, don't tell anyone here about our story in India. You too don't tell anyone about our plan. Have you lost your memory? Now I'll give you kick of the life. Sleeping like a log. I'll give him the shock of his life. What's it Prakash? Unable to sleep. Come, sleep. - What happened? - What's that? This... I hate any cloth on my body when I sleep except this blanket. Come, let's sleep. No, I'll not come. Come Prakash, it'll be warm. You mean, are you that type? Yuck! Our 'friendship' is broken. Oh broken! What type are you, man? My patient likes to undress himself and I like to undress others. Don't you wear brief? Door is locked! How come I got stuck here? Prakash, come. Your cheeks are like sausages. Bommali! I'll not leave you. Mother Jejamma! You've to save me! Mother! Did you show him stars? I didn't show him anything, in fact he showed me everything. They are not ordinary people. What happened? Asking me what had happened? One sleeps without any clothes and another doesn't like others wearing clothes. I beg you dear, please shift me from that room. - Why? They are other 'type' of people. Yuck! What the hell are you saying? Stay with them for a night, you'll know it. He's a sex maniac! Worse than you? You don't say anything but I hear it. Go away. You can't do it, I'll deal with him myself. Here he comes. You are...? Don't you know me? How can I not know you? What's this? You don't know me but you know her? You stop. We are friends, right? - You come with me. - Where to? Dicky? What's this dicky? Not only at night he's different in day time also. Actually we are not friends but lovers. Are we lovers? I don't believe it. You must believe it. How can I? Was I such a violent guy? - Remember it? - Remember it? How can he remember past with just one scene? Continue it. It happened like this then... When? Did you think I forgot everything, right? I remember everything. What do you remember, sunny? Whatever you said just now. You continue the tale. Do it, sister. Remember anything? Whatever it is bit, or scene let it be anything. A villain entered the scene then. Who is he? - How will he be? - He's... - Come out. - He stole my bike. He's short... What's his name? Bald head... Halwa...where are you going? My back is punctured. But you're not like Halwa. Isn't it? He's just like you. Where's my bike? Where's my bike? Stop...stop... Where's my bike? To whom did you sell it? You come aside, I'll tell you. How could you love such a man? I don't know. I'm angry on him, I hate him...but... Whatever he said was fresh and new. I liked his kick. Did we love so much? It's good. Yes, we loved each other so much, do you know why we split up? No need to know reason for split up, there's good feeling in what you said now. Let it continue. You must hear why we split up. Leave it. No, please listen to me. After hearing whatever you said, I don't know if it's true or false, I liked your character in it, I love you. He gave a reverse twist. You were right sir, a Chennai jeweller made two such pieces, records show it was sold to two people. Who are they? What are their details? One buyer was our DGP, another buyer was a girl. Shop has a photo of hers. Girl? They don't have other details but have a delivery address. Go there immediately and find who is she. He hasn't called even once after going there. Can't he work here? Why does he have to go to Malaysia? You always criticized when he leftjobs, now he's working sincerely, let him do it. Is Swathi at home? Swathi? Nobody lives here with that name. This girl. Who is she? They give this address only. We are living here for the past 7 years, not only here, I've not seen her in this area also. Why did you say you don't know her? She rejected my son. She had promised to be with him always. Why should I tell them about her? Don't know why they had come without even knowing her name? Hey, please listen to me... I will not. I don't want to hear flashbacks of split ups. I like as I'm now. I feel something fishy. Why isn't he listening to me? I suspect him... Why are you silent? Do something. What is your plan? Why are you staring? Do something. What can I do? I suspect him... Say something please... Check, where is Kalyan? Can't you do it yourself? What happened, Halwa? Was I here only? You're here only, right? Though I'm here, I'm not and though I'm not here, I feel I'm here. Do something. Something is happening without my knowledge. Hey! If you've guts remove the veil and beat me. Whether you're in veil or me, I'm getting the stick, right? If you've guts, remove the veil. How can I be afraid of you, Halwa? I'll tell her everything. Go ahead. With that planning to kill wife, throwing bombs on police, and escaping to Malaysia on fake passports. Go and tell her. What's this man? Game. Is it good? He's not a patient, he has no memory loss. He has memory loss. Being a doctor, I say this. No, he has no memory loss. He has memory loss. No, he doesn't have memory loss. Trust me. He told me what had happened 2 years back, and also told me that he doesn't remember that. He told me what had happened 2 years back, and also told me that he doesn't remember that...? Actually, he told me that I am a doctor. Aren't you a doctor? It's okay you knew it. But don't tell him. He will beat me to pulp. Hey you patient... Where were you? Did you find anything about him? I found everything about him. What? Does he remember his past? I saw my future. Don't play with him. He will cover your face and beat you up. Stop talking nonsense. Are you playing games with me? Everyone thinks they have started the game. But actually, we are all players in his game. Idiot! Hey Halwa, what are you still doing here? You are no ordinary man. You made that lunatic a doctor. How long is your game? I can't with stand it. This is nothing. This is just an interval. Climax is still pending. Shall I tell you something shocking? What? I'm the thief whom your brother-in-law is looking for. Why did he come to Malaysia? He used to rob regularly in India. Why is he quiet now? Has he quit robbing? What does December 16 mean? There is lot of time left for that day. If he had quit robbing, why would he fix the target? Why is he robbing? Who will he rob in Malaysia? He must either rob the nrls. Or rob those who have link with India. Where could he be? If he had called from this phone booth, he must be living in these surroundings. But where? What do you think of yourself? Is duty everything for you? Even after coming to Malaysia, you are still thinking about that thief. Why did we come here? For your engagement or to catch that thief? What if something happens to you? It's alright uncle. How many people are so duty conscious like your son? Feel proud of him. Sir, you're really great. You will catch that thief. Looking at the fire in you, if you catch him, he will see his worst nightmare. You are his perfect partner. You will catch him for sure. He won't. He will catch him. He won't. He will catch him, you shorty. You won't catch him. You stupid. I'm telling you, he will catch him. Why are talking nonsense? Why are you interfering in our matters? I am talking to my brother-in-law. You can't catch him even if he stands in front of you. You won't catch him. No way. Day after tomorrow is very auspicious. Lets fix the engagement on that day. No. I've an urgent meeting on that day. Ministers are coming from India. Actually... Sorry. Don't mistake me. This meeting was fixed a month back. Important business deal. We will have it next week. A month back...? Meeting...? Is your meeting more important than your daughter's marriage? Cancel that silly meeting. Keep quiet. You remember half forget half. Ministers meeting...? As said, fix the engagement in 2 days time. Thank you. Find out when was the Ministers meeting in Malaysia finalised. Oh God! My bladder is full. Hey Halwa... I can't take this tension. I don't know how you will behave. Tell me your next plan. I'm planning to surrender. Don't be tensed. I am not selfish. I give charity to everyone. Once I surrender, I will tell them your name too. Even you will find some kick. I'll be back soon. - What should I do now? - Run. You... You heard me right. I said that. Buy the ticket run away before they lynch you. You must know why we got separated. I won't listen to you. This is very important. Definitely not. Day after tomorrow is your engagement. Go. Get ready. What are you talking? Do you know how badly you cheated me? The lies you told me. Cheating? Lying? For this simple matter. Is this a simple matter. If you know what really happened... What happened? I said that I joined the job for you. I didn't like it. So, I quit the job. You got the information from some idiot. You got hurt. Is that all? Not only that. Didn't you call my love silly? If you keep shouting at me, anyone would say that. You were no less. I was after you to make you say I love you. You said that at the time of our separation. How would I feel? Frustrated. What are you staring at me? You were trying to make me remember something. You wanted to say something. C'mon talk. You said you don't remember your past. I say that even now. But how did you remember all this? I'm caught. It was a lie. Coming to Malaysia for your treatment? A naked lie. You made us fools? You're right, that was true. I hate people who act like you. Aren't you acting? Though I am in your heart, you're getting ready to get engaged with someone else. Isn't that an act? I acted saying that I don't remember past. And you are acting without saying that. Not much of a difference. Happy moments I spent with you are more important for me. You think of our separation. You forget things which you should remember. Don't cheat yourself. Is she telling me to go away? Is she telling me to come? What is your heart saying? Do you know that at least? You storm me like a tornado... I suffocate because of you... In such circumstances... Is it possible to know what my heart says? Roaring forever... The clouds won't hide the water vapour and carry that burden... Like you, it won't hide its love... If you had embraced me with your warmth... my youth would have jumped in joy... If you had struck the right notes... I would've expressed my love for you... Still I'm found at fault... Is that my mistake? When you come after me, I feel angry... When I don't see you around, I go mad about you... My heart rages in fire... Time has no medicine to cure my heart... You fight with your conscious everyday, dear... What will your arrogance achieve? Nothing wrong to accept your love... Stop fighting, sweetheart... Don't you like my arrogance? Daddy, I want to talk you urgently. I'm in an important meeting. Talk to me later. No dad. Ministers Malaysia programme got confirmed on November 8th. They have come there on an official visit. The clue 'LOSER' was given to me on November 9th. Ministers Malaysia programme got confirmed on November 8th. So, he already knew about Ministers programme. There is some link between their programme his plan. What are these Ministers doing in Malaysia? Ministers are planning something unofficial here. Banerjee, we earned 300 crores cheating people doing all the wrong deeds. We struggled had to turn this money into dollars. Your 300 crores is the first investment for the hotels we are going to start. Big money will change hands. He has come here to rob that money. If he had come here months before, he must've planned it well. He must've planned a game. There is a link between Ministers my uncle. So, he must be around them. Who is the new entrant in their family? He is my friend Kalyan. He can't be the thief. He is memory loss patient. I'm at peace in this condition. Something is wrong. Thanks partner. How are you? Who is your partner! Do you know where will I be tomorrow? How many people are so honest in their duty like your son? Catch me before December 16. You will catch him for sure. You are his right partner. You are my right partner. What do you say, Swami? First, let's have tea. Later, we can deal with the money. Thief...! Money is more important to me. Yes, my son is a thief. He became a thief for kick. He was in search of kick, but he didn't get it. But it came looking for him. We are Venkat Swapna. We have a daughter. I work in a private company. My salary is Rs.10000. Every morning at 8, I take the lunch box, drop my daughter at the school, catch a running bus, go to office, come back in the evening, play with my daughter, sometimes go to theatre, count our savings several times and feel safe, this is my life. We've no complaints on anyone. She is our world. A peaceful life. No big wish list. We were happy with what was given to us by God. But... We didn't understand what doctor said about her disease. We understood only one thing. It required lot of money. If we don't start the treatment soon, the disease will spread all over her body, and she will die. From then on, she fought the disease, and we fought for money. All our savings were spent on her initial treatment. The situation was out of our hands. We had no money. Even now, we have no complaints on anyone except on our incapability to save her. The day she looked at us to save her life, we died. If the operation is not performed in 24 hours, she too will lose die. We had no choice. We can't see her die. So, we sent her an orphanage, and dying before her. Please don't mistake us. We had no other choice. You're often asking for charity. Is this for you or for everyone? For me only. So, you know the truth. It's alright. Father went to bring money. He will bring it. Operation will be over. It's you who said that if we get things very easily, there will no kick in it. It's true. If death comes easier, there is no kick in it. I'm scared, uncle. You will be fine. Lord Hanuman will protect you. He wants to play with me. It's a very serious case. She will live only if we perform an operation on her within 20 hours. I told her parents about this. I'm telling you again. Operation will be performed on her only if you pay 20 lakhs by tomorrow morning. Actually... Okay, I will bring it. - Take a snap. - Is it? You're out of Health ministry. But you're given Home ministry. Then, let's distribute sweets in jail. Okay. This is enough for today. This is the last snap. I need to go to jail. Bye. Sir, I need 20 lakhs. You have explained me very clearly. I will explain you very clearly. Try to understand. Government can't help each and everyone. There are few funds available. Funds are available...for our benefits. Let's not talk about that now. Since I like you, let me tell you the facts. Since it is a small girl, submit an application. I will help you on some grounds. But you will not get 20 lakhs. You will get 50 thousand or 1 lakh. I will get it ready in 2 days time. - You won't do it. - Why? Though people can work hard, you provide rice for Rs. 2 per kg. And make them lazy fellows. You give houses for the poor. You provide employment for the youth. You provide free electricity and loans to farmers. During elections, you waive the loans. You give everything to everyone. Why don't you care about children? What sin have they committed? Is it because children are not eligible to vote? How much can we get selling this house? To the bankers? This house is on loan. How much do you have in your account? Rs. 10 lakhs. Give me a cheque. For what? I said do it, father. Rs. 10 lakhs...? What made you think that I will give you the money? Since he married my daughter, I forgave him made him my PA. I challenged you that I will make you fall at my feet. What made you think that I will forgive and give you the money? Who won? Me or him? To make my heart wet... Came this drizzle of smile... Time drew it... This rainbow of desires... What happened, uncle? Smile once. Today, Tony's dream will come true. He likes to play with me. Silence heard by the heart. Doctor told me that I can play now. He must be very happy. Do you have any dreams, uncle? It's alright. What's the fun if each one fulfills his own dream? The fun lies in fulfilling others' dreams. Are you the meaning of life? It's said that God lives in children. It seems to be true on seeing them. Each one of them has a disease. They forget all the sorrows and feel very happy since one of them has defied death. Some of them will not survive inspite of good medication. But some will survive. But there is no money. Look at him. He will not survive for more than 4 days. He too knows that. But he forgot that is happy that she has survived he can play with her. Who has disease? We or they? So many of them? If there are so many of them in our orphanage alone, think about the entire city, state the country. How many are there? I need a list of all those children. We went pillar to post to save one child. By saving all these children, do you want to be a hero? I'm not doing this for the people. I'm doing it for myself. The happiness I saw in her smile... If there is so much kick in one smile, think about the kick in millions of such smiles. I want that kick. I want that kick. The kick started from a child's smile. It won't stop. Nowadays, people want to be happy even on someone else's sorrows. He looks for happiness in others' happiness. He is not giving any suggestions. He is not fighting against the system. He never orders anyone to do something. He does what he wants to do. He is not saving those children. He is showing us the kick in saving others. Which father will get such a great son? I get lot of kick. Till now, I wanted to see what he will become. He has now become a thief. He has become a true human. What if he gets caught? There is truth in his efforts. Nothing will happen to him. He will not get caught until he completes his job. Where is he now? What if I lose? What if I lose? When did you come, boss? How are you? What? You stole millions but I see you in a toddy shop. Foreign liquor is boring. Local toddy is too good. You ruined all the money. Moreover they were dollars not rupees. What if I lose? Boss, you must live long. You're the king who gave us party on losing. When will you lose again? Winners have the say. We are losers and they are winners. Winner boss... When will you win? When you win, we will party. You are right. You're trying to cover up your defeat very well. Cover up? I don't know that. Only now I knew there is lot of kick in losing. Yes boss. Every time I win and I've lost the kick in winning. I lost for the first time in my life. Now I know the kick in losing. I'll pay the bill. When we lose, we should never worry. You must celebrate it. When a man understand this, no loser will cry on losing. Will party all the time. Drinks all the time. That includes you too. Superb! I mean your philosophy. Don't worry, they don't know who you are. I didn't come here to catch you. Till now, your strength and my weakness were the same. I didn't know who you were till date. But now, both our levels are equal. Arresting you killing you is not a big deal. I won't do that. Do you know why? You are my special case. You are my partner, aren't you? I won't leave you so easily. I will catch you red handed with evidence. I will know your every move. Forget about robbing. The moment you think of robbing, I will cut your nerves and pluck your heart out. Rs. 500 crores. Election fund. Party office. 12 noon. Tomorrow. You challenged that you will catch me red hand. Catch...you can never catch me. This is the real kick. Kalyan or Kalyankrishna...? Check everyone thoroughly before sending them in. Be it MLAs or Ministers. Why so much security? There is a terror threat to the party office. I know. I told you that. Count fast. - High command has entrusted me to distribute the election funds. Is the list of receivers ready? Ready sir. I must distribute these funds. Ensure win the election. They must make me the next CM. Something is happening. Whatever you do with this money, it'll be wonders only. Already had enough of wonders happening, you forced us to take all our money to abroad, a local Indian took it away, we had our balls crushed. Take it sportively son. Didn't I tell you, I'll know all your movements. Just half an hour to strike noon! Will you do it on time as you promised? I want to see it happen. Come. Going to steal with a police officer, that's really a great kick! Are you still confident of stealing money? What exactly is your plan? Would I tell you? Can you become a friend by sitting next to me? No, you're a police officer and I'm a thief. There are 300 police men in the office, you can't even step in there. If you dare to go, one round of fire is enough to shred your body. I'll go to loo and come, it's very urgent. Trust me, if you've any doubt, come with me. Go. Is my new get up nice? Only you know my real face. Others mustn't know it, that's why. I've a doubt, I think you're taking revenge on me for that girl. You're important to me not that girl. Okay, it's time, let's go. What are you looking at? So much money here reminds me of that thief. Shut up! Don't remind me about that thief. I'm getting shivers. Can I distribute it now, Swami? Inauspicious time will elapse at 11 .59 am, after that it's auspicious time all the way. Take care of it till then, after that money won't be here even if you wish. You'll distribute it, right? - Got scared? - You've a lighter? Just 2 minutes only, how will you steal it? 120 seconds is more than enough for me. You're still here, I'm next to you, so many security people around, how will you do it? Are your men inside already? If you don't steal by noon... I will... How...how...? Still 80 seconds only. Bad man? Who are you? A wonder is going to happen inside in 80 seconds. An extraordinary man will steal all the money right under your nose. This is confirmed intelligence report. Who are you? Go...go...go away... What's all this? An unknown man has donated billions of rupees for children's welfare. He's still donating. City school children have rallying to thank and wish him well. The doors are still locked. Tight security all around. All our eyes are on money. Suddenly there's a hole in the wall. Money vanished silently. He's no ordinary thief. You don't say anything. I got the stick of my life for trusting you. We all had our balls busted. I'll get the details... You can't do it. We've handed over the case to a new officer. Call the new officer. I told you that you can never catch me after December 16th. Today I'm reporting for duty, I think all are waiting for me. I wanted to do it for children, I did it. It's over. Then, what about this? This is for my lover. She wants me to be a police officer. I worked hard to become a police officer. But there's a real kick in fulfilling her wish. Shattering! What are you discussing? Give the file to him. Who do you think he's? Meritorious candidate, and he gave a lot on information about the thief also. Don't you feel you've caught the thief by looking at him? Yes sir. You don't feel bad, old officer. Nothing like that sir. I know very well about him. He's very sincere. Handover all your wealth to him. He's the right man for you. Trust me, give all yours to him, you'll be safe. I don't know about others but I feel like seeing the thief once, only then I can be happy. You'll definitely see him sir, you've seen me, haven't you sir? You've seen him! From now onwards, I'll give the kick of life for all of you. Previously on "Being Erica"... Is it true that you're taking Friedken's book from Julianne? Julianne's ship is taking on water, fast. She gave me my shot. She's a friend, and I'm not just gonna abandon her. I'm disappointed in you, Erica. The feeling's mutual. That girl is my daughter. I don't feel like you want me to have a life. We had a fight this day, and it was one of many, but this day I said some things that I later regretted. You're hurting me! And this was the last time that I saw my daughter. I mean, I didn't know if she was dead or alive... and I still don't. So... you sing really well. You're like a barista by day, a rock star by night. I do have feelings for you, Kai. I wish that I didn't, but I do. Relationships-- they're like pillars in our lives, providing support, defining the space in which we live. Good morning. Hey, you. Is everything ok? Yeah. Everything's fine. Why? You know, you're the worst liar on the planet. Uhh... Sorry. I'm just, uh, I'm just a little distracted. Because? Because the... "The None" is launching, and Alexis owes me a draft of the third chapter. It's four days late. Julianne is breathing down my back. And, of course, I forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. Again. Plus we got the hydro bill, and it's crazy this month. Yeah. Anything else you wanna stress about? Point taken. Hey, I'll pick up the dry cleaning. It's gonna be ok. It always is. Thanks. We think of them as solid, immutable. The world may change around us, but our relationships? They remain constant. No, and I agree. I think that the orgasm chapter is compelling, but I feel like it's coming too soon in the book. Uh, no pun intended, I hope. And chapter three? Where's that one, exactly? Uh, I'm hoping it's in my inbox. Hey, what're you doing here? Just, uh... I didn't sleep last night. I kept thinking about what you said. And I realized that this was a big mistake-- Us becoming friends. Kai... I came back here to have a normal life, not to screw up yours. No, you came back to undo a regret. At first. And then I realized that I can do a lot more than that. I can rewrite my whole existence. No, you can't. I can, and I was, until you showed up. You know, getting in the middle, between you and Ethan, that was the old me, and I won't go down that road again. And I'm not asking you to. We shoulda stuck to coffee and small talk, like I said. I think that you're overreacting. Really? Yeah. You think you can just say that... that you feel something for me and it doesn't change anything? Well, not if we don't let it. Just do yourself a favor and stay away from me. Kai... I'm serious. I'm done-- With this whole screwed up situation, this friendship... or whatever the hell it is. It's over. Relationships-- they feel so permanent, so solid. So why, are we always surprised to find out that, like everything else, they are not immune to change? ♪ Being Erica 2x10 ♪ Papa Can You Hear Me? ♪ it's clearer inside of me ♪ ♪ who I will always be ♪ ♪ open me up to my heart ♪ ♪ feels like I'm seeing in the dark ♪ ♪ waking me up to my heart ♪ ♪ to do it all over again and again ♪ ♪ until the end ♪ ♪ the sum of my dreams ♪ ♪ and everything I ever wanted to be ♪ Um... Brent? We can't talk here. What? Why not? Count to 15 before you follow me. Second thought, make that 20. Brent! I said 20. What has gotten into you? You've become a cub scout? No. These two fingers represent the pause button. On our friendship. What? River Rock Publishing is in the middle of a cold war. I'm America, and you're the USSR. That's ridiculous. Crossing enemy lines is a mistake. It complicates things. Oh, Brent, come on. This is crazy. How long can you two keep this up? Don't blame me. Blame Julianne. By the way, fierce heels. I am the one that's paid the lion's share of the mortgage! I am the one that's bought the groceries! I paid the bills! I--I arranged and funded all of our vacations! Hey! Sam. What's going on? Divorce papers? Wait, Josh is asking for a divorce? Not just a divorce, Erica. He wants to wipe me out. Claire and Josh, separated at birth. He wants you to pay him $80,000? Yup. Yup. Because, according to him, he "put me through med school." That's ridiculous. He didn't. You know, all of the signs were there, even from the beginning. I--I just didn't even wanna see them. Like what? Like... We just never talked-- Never about anything important, never about how I felt. So, of course, after a while we become like strangers... It was like he had this made-up idea in his mind of who I was... and now here we are. You know what's really, really pathetic? I just wanna run away from this whole thing, So I go to Goblins like some desperate loser, looking for Kai. Kai. Really? And, uh, how was that? He wasn't there. He quit, actually. What? ! I mean, are you sure? Yeah. Um, Dave said he came in this morning and didn't give any notice. Just walked out the door. Oh, it's the lawyer calling me back. One sec. Hello? Yes, this is Samantha. Hey. There you go. Sorry, we're closing. I know. But, Dave, look, I heard that Kai quit, and I really need to talk to him. So, do you have his phone number? He doesn't want me giving that to anyone, especially you. Dave! Look, please. Something is going on with him, and... Kai, he loves this job. Apparently not. He didn't even give me two weeks notice. Did he tell you that he's quitting his band? What? ! Last thing he said before he walked out. I don't know what's happening to him. Please, please, Dave, I really need to talk to him. This is his address. He's not answering his phone. You didn't get this from me. Uh-huh? Mm-mmm. Mmm! Mm-hmm. You don't-- oh, Dave, thank you! Ok. Thank you! You're the best! Kai! It's Erica! Look, I came all this way! Uninvited. To talk to you. Please. Hey. Can I come in? Look, I know that I made everything really complicated for you, and I'm sorry. Whatever. It's not you, it's me. I screw everything up. Why did you quit your job? 'cause I figured then if I disappear, you and Ethan can go back to being in love, Travis can have a nice little musical career. No, that's not the way that this works. I don't care how this works. You can go. Now. Kai-- I told you to stay away, all right? Stop trying to save me. It's not your job. If Dr. Fred can give up, so can you. No, Dr. Fred, he hasn't given up. Really? Do you see him here, laying down the law? No. Tomorrow, I tell Travis I quit the band, then I'm gone. ♪ you're driving me ♪ ♪ alive again ♪ ♪ you're driving me ♪ ♪ ohh ♪ you-- ♪ alive again ♪ ♪ you're driving me ♪ Erica. Please, have a seat. He won't listen. I mean, he's being irrational and unreasonable. Why is he doing this? Well, those are all valid questions, but they're not for you and I to discuss, so... Why not? Why? Because. In here, we talk about you. Right? Your life... and your choices and, lo and behold, your list. But I can't just ignore what's happening to him. Kai, he has no one. I feel responsible, and so should you. I mean, you let Dr. Fred send me to his future for a reason. Yes. I did. And, you know, it's a decision that I've since come to regret. Well, then why did you agree? Because I thought that it would help you, that it might provide for you some useful, you know, perspective. But instead, you've gotten completely caught up in his life. What you need to do is focus on yourself. Ok? So, please, sit. No. No? This is my therapy, and I should be allowed to decide what we talk about. Erica, just drop it. Ok? You're not his doctor. This is not your problem. No, because his doctor is mia, and Kai is out there drowning, and you are acting like you don't even care. You could talk to him. No. Yes. You could get through to him. You and I are not gonna discuss this any further. You know, unlike Dr. Fred, I don't become involved in the lives of other patients. That's a rule? That's my rule. Fine. We are not doing this today. Erica, come back. Open the door. Come back and sit down in the chair, please. Open the door! Everything ok? We had a disagreement. It wasn't our first, won't be our last. Well, disagreements are a normal part of the process. This was different. This felt like... the fights that I used to have with Sarah. In what way? Well, you know, she and I would get going, and, uh, you know, there was never any middle ground. It just would always end up being an all-out war. And it never accomplished anything. It would just end up leading... well, you know where it led. You lost her. Are you afraid that you might lose Erica? I don't know. I--I don't understand. I mean, I don't even know what that was in there. I was not a good father. And I'm aware of that, But I am a good therapist. Yes, but even the best therapists miss things. What? Just tell me, then. What is the connection here? You know, why am I having the same fight with Erica That I used to have with my daughter? Only one way to find out. Stop it! Sarah. Let go of me! Sarah! Forget it, dad, I'm never coming home! Sarah, wait. Wait! I just wanna talk to you. Yeah, well, you never listen to me. There's no point. Wait, wait, wait! This time, I will listen. She said she doesn't wanna talk. Yeah, just go back to work, ok? Work? I don't care about work. Oh, you see this? This is work, ok? Dad... Ok, what else? My cell phone? Work. Definitely work. Garbage. And uh, what, watch? You take that. No more work, ok? Dad, what's gotten into you? You're embarrassing yourself. I want you to come and have some lunch with me. Just lunch-- One hour, that's all. Please. Ok, I'll meet you back at the van, Martin. Ok? Don't let him do this. He's just messing with you again. I'll be fine. I promise. Ok? Just go. We leave at 5:00. Don't be late. Hey, you ready? You remember this place? Of course. I'm not brain-dead. You used to bring me here every Sunday. We'd get strawberry milkshakes. Yeah. With extra whipped cream. Yeah, and you'd always let me eat yours. Yeah. Seems like a lifetime ago. So, what did you wanna talk to me about? You. Uh, let me guess. Ok, you hate my hair, My clothes, my friends... Sarah-- How I'm ruining my life. Sarah, I'm here because I wanna understand what happened. I just wanna know how you and I ended up like this. I don't know. It just happened. Listen, I understand that the problems between your mom and I didn't or haven't helped the situation, but... Can we-- can we just order already? All right. I'm just trying to understand here. Well, you never do. You just believe what you want. Well, maybe you do that, too. What can I get ya? Uh, two eggs, over medium. Multigrain toast. Uh, I'll do the mushroom and cheese omelet, please. Anything to drink? No. Water for me. Nothing, thanks. No, excuse me, uh... Actually, we'll have two strawberry milkshakes, extra whipped cream. We couldn't find you anywhere. You know, finally, your mom stayed up top, and I took the elevator all the way down to the ground floor. And I got out of the elevator, and there you were, reciting the alphabet, in French, to, uh, the security guards at the CN Tower. And you were little, too. You couldn't have been more than five. Not scared though. Nah, not one bit. Heh. Take your time. Thank you. Oh. Damn. What's wrong? Heh. My, uh, wallet was in my jacket. Oh, no way. Way. Do you have money? I'll pay you back. I promise. Yeah. Um... Three and change. That's it? Yup. Mmm, not enough. Let's go. No, no. We can't do that. What, you got a better idea? Come on, dad, our window's closing, and we need to dine and dash now. Excuse me, sir. Sir! Wow. I can't believe you did that. Yeah, neither can I. That is so not you. Can I ask you something? Sure. So, where are you and Martin going? Dad. What? Come on, I don't wanna talk about that. We're just gonna fight, ok? Forget it, then. It's ok. Well, I should get back. Oh, Martin said that you had 'till 5:00, right? Sarah, I really just... just wanna tag along with you, see how you spend your time. I'm not gonna interfere. I'll just sit there, won't say a word. What is it you think I do? Steal cars? Vandalize private property? Beg? Sarah, I have no idea what you do... and that's why I'm asking. This is a life drawing class. Yeah, sorry to disappoint. Here you go. Thanks. Hey. You come here a lot? Yeah, 2 or 3 times a week. You wanna sit there? There? Yeah. ♪ scars are souvenirs you never lose ♪ ♪ the past is never far ♪ ♪ did you lose yourself somewhere out there? ♪ ♪ did you get to be a star? ♪ ♪ don't it make you sad ♪ ♪ to know that life ♪ ♪ is more than who we are? ♪ ♪ I won't tell him your name ♪ ♪ I won't tell him your name ♪ ♪ I won't tell him your name ♪ So, you wanna show me what you did? Oh, uh...sure. All right. Heh heh. Oh, that's very abstract. Well, that's--that's a smudge from my hand, that part. It's good. Can I see yours? Come on, fair is fair. Um, well, ok. Well... It was a bit rushed. I could do better. Ok. That's good. Sarah, that's really good. And Debbie's actually one of my favorite models necause she's so flexible, and she moves in really interesting ways, you know? So, what do you do with that now? Oh...nothing. It's just an exercise. You mind if I keep that? Thanks. Yeah. You know, you really should've gone to art school. What is this, a mid-life crisis or something? Do you have cancer? No, no. No, no. Well, then what? Art school? That's what I should do? I thought it was Commerce or... Pre-med or I'm "on my own." I said that? Ah. Well, I wish I hadn't. I mean, I know that doesn't really help. It helps a little. Well... I had a really nice time today, Sarah. Yeah, me, too. Good. Take care of yourself. Bye, dad. Hey, I already know where I'm going to hang this. Dad? Yeah. What, Sarah? What is it? I don't think I wanna go. Hey, what is this? What're you trying to do here? I just came to say hello. No need to get testy. You and I both know I cannot change Sarah's path. I can't influence her to make a different decision. I can't this, I can't that. It's all about you, isn't it? What? Wonder why that is. I have no idea what you're talking about. Where's Sarah in this equation, Tom? You're not making the choice. She is. Come on, that is pure semantics, and you know it. The only reason that she's changing her mind is because I'm a different person. So, you know what? Actually, yes, it has everything to do with me. Hey, dad, what's going on? Nothing. Oh, I was just describing to the officer about my wallet, my lost wallet. So, thank you, officer. Well, we'll be sure to put every resource we have on this, just for you. Let's go. Marjorie? I'm gonna go have a shower. Ok. Uh, Sarah? What should I make us for dinner? Don't you mean, what should you order in? No, I cook. S-sometimes I cook. Yeah, I'd wait for mom if I were you. Wow, look at you. Yeah, please don't. I look like I walked off the set of "7th Heaven" or something. I hope you don't mind, I put my clothes in the wash. And since everything else I own is in Martin's van... It's totally fine. What's that? This is fettuccine bolognese. Wow. Props, dad. Thanks. Hello? Tom? Yeah, we're in the kitchen. Sarah. Hey, mom. Um, dad said it'd be ok if I came home with him. Of course it's ok, if you're here to stay. Sarah's here for dinner, which, uh... is actually going to be ready momentarily, so... So, what was it this time? Did you run out of money, or did you have another fight with Martin? Yeah, it was a big mistake. I really shouldn't have come here. Sarah, wait. One of many. Marjorie, please. What? She's here. That's a good thing. It is, but I think I have the right to know why she's here and if she's going to stay this time. Just drop-- Uh, could you, um, set the dining room table for us, please? I cannot believe you! Shh, I know. Shh... I thought we agreed we'd be a united front. Yeah. Listen, I spent the day with her today. And I really believe that we all have an opportunity here. And, Marjorie, I don't want to drive her away again. We have been down this road before and every time-- every time, we fail. Yeah, all of us. But let's-- can we just have some dinner? As a family? Pasta's not overcooked, I hope? It's really good. So, have you, um... have thought about your plans now that you're home? No. Well, I'm here, If you want help with your resume or if you decide you want to apply to university again. Well, I just got back an hour ago. Of course. Um, we can think ahead. She is, actually. Sarah tells me that she wants to pursue art. Yeah, maybe even, um, art school. Well, that could be good. You've always liked art. So you'd study graphic design, that sort of thing? Uh, maybe a bit, but... Yeah, uh... I think that whatSarah wants to do is to be an artist. You know, the, uh... And the thing is, she's good. You know, we went to her art class today. To an art class? Yeah. She did this. Yeah, it's lovely. But drawing is... a hobby. It's not a career. Marjorie, don't. Don't why? It's true. How many artists do you know who make a living? Who aren't forced to waitress or clean houses? Mom, there's more to life than money, actually. I know that's really hard for you to understand. Sarah. Come on, Tom, you agree with me. I don't, actually. It's Sarah's life. And I don't think that shutting this down is the right thing. Really? Since when? What? Do you know what your dad told me last night? He said it killed him, waking up every morning, knowing that his daughter was living on the streets and throwing away her whole life. Would you stop? ! Why did you come looking for me? Sarah... I was fine. I came because I wanted to understand why this happened. This happened because you and mom, you won't let me live my life. You think you can make decisions for me for the rest of my life, forever. No, Sarah, that's not true. I want you to decide. Right. Decide to go to art school? Yes. Yeah, so even there, you're taking the thing that I love, and you're... You know I'm an adult, right? And so, that means, for the first time, finally, finally, I can make my own decisions. You can't control me. I can do what I want! And right now, what I want is to get the hell out of here! Tom. Just, uh... just give me a minute. Thank you... for taking me back there. I know it was hard. Yeah, you know, I always assumed that it was the problems between marjorie and I that were to blame for what happened with Sarah. And now? Well, now I know it was more complicated than that. We were scared. We thought she was just messing around, you know? We thought she just didn't wanna grow up. When, in fact, that's exactly what she was trying to do. She accused you of wanting to make decisions for her, forever. Is that what I'm doing with Erica? Making her decisions for her? What do you think? You can't deny the fact that Kai... He has become a distraction. Maybe he has. But why does that preclude him from being a necessary part of Erica's journey? Especially if she wants him to be? How did you know when--when I was ready? You knew. And you let me know. Thank you. Fred? Hey. Cheers. So, what do they do to doctors who crash and burn? Same thing they do to doctors who quit. I heard about that. Yeah. Uh, not my finest moment. Mmm. You know, this thing that we do, it's not easy. No kidding. I can't reach him. I've tried everything I can think of. Sometimes you need a little help. I did. Yeah, well, no one's offered. Well, consider this an offer. Hey, I'm not saying it's gonna change anything, But if you wanted me to, I'd be happy to give it a try. Be my guest. I'm not sure if Kai will let you be his, but you might as well try. Hold on a second! Hold on a second! Yeah, what? It's funny. I think was expecting someone more... Charming. You know, for a rock star. May I come in? Who are you? Dr. Tom, Erica's therapist. Thanks. So, what, are you tag-teaming me now? Huh? So, Dr. Fred sent you in here to talk me back on the straight and narrow, convince me I'm destroying my life? Erica ever mention to you that she had a brother? No. Well, he died 10 years ago in a tragic accident, one that Erica tried to go back and prevent by twisting this therapy into something that it's not. Did it work? What do you think? So... Well, explain to me, Kai... what is it that you want, exactly? To disappear. Why? I mean, what is it that you figure that's gonna do? It's gonna make things better for everybody, including me. Well, it seems to me you've tried that already, though, Haven't you? I mean, you ran away from your whole life. And yet, here you are again... running. Um, I'm just wondering where it ends. It ends with Travis still alive. You know, Kai, just because you want that to happen doesn't mean that it will. You know, that might be something you need to face. Are we done? No. No. Uh... one more thing. Be sure, Kai. Before you make any big changes, before you start messing around with your past, be sure that you're making the right choices this time. "act the way you'd like to be, and soon you'll be the way you act." Bob Dylan. You know, Alexis, she may know a lot about sex, but she sure doesn't know how to use the apostrophe. Well, that's why we pay you the medium-sized bucks, chicken. Dori swears by this new raw food place. That being said, raw food plus Dori equals a bathroom break every 20 minutes. Hey, maybe Erica can think of someplace we can go. Eri-- actually... I feel like Italian. Carb cleansing's so 2005. Ouch. I can't believe that... I actually thought that I was friends with him. Yeah, I kinda figured out he couldn't be trusted when I found his nail file sticking straight out of my back. Erica, it's awful, I know, but it is what it is. Maybe if I could just talk to him away from here... or maybe you just need to accept that fact that your friendship has changed. Probably for good. Here it is. Thanks. Hey, so, uh... how is this? It's a little high on the left, you think? Maybe you didn't get the message when I walked out of here yesterday. No, I got it loud and clear. Erica, you were right to be upset. Really? Yeah. And also, to answer your question, when are you allowed to decide what we talk about? When you're ready. And apparently, that's now. So... Let's talk about Kai. Ok. Ok, what's the catch? No catch. Sit. Please. Well, he... he is withdrawing from everything, And I feel like it's my fault. Why? Because you told him that you felt something for him? And he thinks that changes everything, and I told him it doesn't have to, but he--he doesn't listen. And you think that he's wrong-- that after your confession, that you can continue to be just friends. Yes. Because I made it very clear to him that-- That you were not breaking up with Ethan. Right. I know. What? It's funny. You know, a year ago, you and I couldn't have this conversation. You know, I would have shut it down and, uh, you would have dropped it. You would've done as you were told. Heh. Yeah. Things are different now. 20 for the first 12 months. See how useful you are. 20 for the first 12 months. See how useful you are. Plus bonuses on a case-by-case basis, Plus bonuses on a case-by-case basis, determined by me and me alone. determined by me and me alone. Rub me off, I'll shoot you in the head, cut your ears off, Rub me off, I'll shoot you in the head, cut your ears off, post them to your mother. post them to your mother. (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) Ooh, shit! Wouldn't I love to see her face? ! Ooh, shit! Wouldn't I love to see her face? ! "Oh, what's in this envelope? What's in here?" "Oh, what's in this envelope? What's in here?" "Arrgh!" (LAUGHS) (BOB LAUGHS) "Arrgh!" (LAUGHS) (BOB LAUGHS) Shit! Shit! Shit. Shit. MAN: It's getting so we're scared of driving down our own road. MAN: It's getting so we're scared of driving down our own road. DONALD MACKAY: Well, there's no law against carrying a rifle. DONALD MACKAY: Well, there's no law against carrying a rifle. You do so yourself. Not a bloody machine gun, I don't. You do so yourself. Not a bloody machine gun, I don't. And they made sure we know. And they made sure we know. WOMAN: Yeah, to put the wind up us, Don. WOMAN: Yeah, to put the wind up us, Don. I reckon they got a tonne of that weed on the go. I reckon they got a tonne of that weed on the go. Well, any chance you can jot down their numberplate Well, any chance you can jot down their numberplate so I can take it to the police, give them something concrete? so I can take it to the police, give them something concrete? Yeah, sure. OK. Yeah, sure. OK. Look, I'll keep it for 14 days. Look, I'll keep it for 14 days. Give me a bell when you've made up your mind. Give me a bell when you've made up your mind. Nice to see you, Margaret. Yeah, thanks, Don. Nice to see you, Margaret. Yeah, thanks, Don. Do you always have to be such a hero? Do you always have to be such a hero? What? What's that? What? What's that? Bank statement. You didn't tell me you deposited 10,000. Bank statement. You didn't tell me you deposited 10,000. What? What? What's this? What's this? It's them. It's them. They're trying to compromise me. They're trying to compromise me. Get it out of the bank, Barbara. Get it out of the bank, Barbara. Take it out, get rid of it, give it to charity - anything. Take it out, get rid of it, give it to charity - anything. I don't care. Just do it now, Barbara. I don't care. Just do it now, Barbara. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. We can't. We have to. We can't. We have to. We can't knock a skip, Roberto. We have no choice. We can't knock a skip, Roberto. We have no choice. Italians are bad enough, but not an Anglo. Italians are bad enough, but not an Anglo. An Anglo like Mackay. An Anglo like Mackay. This guy's face is in the newspaper every fuckin' day. This guy's face is in the newspaper every fuckin' day. If we don't stop him now, everything's up in smoke. If we don't stop him now, everything's up in smoke. Cazzate. He's just one man. Cazzate. He's just one man. They changed the law because of him. They changed the law because of him. They post Drug Squad cops here. They post Drug Squad cops here. We might as well plant fucking beans. We might as well plant fucking beans. Make him an offer. Don't worry about it. Make him an offer. Don't worry about it. (LAUGHS) He doesn't want money. (LAUGHS) He doesn't want money. Doesn't want girls. He's a saint. Doesn't want girls. He's a saint. Take him out, the whole anti-drug thing... Take him out, the whole anti-drug thing... ..whoosh! ..whoosh! It has to look like an Anglo job. Well, you know anyone? It has to look like an Anglo job. Well, you know anyone? (SIGHS) I can find someone. (SIGHS) I can find someone. Cleanskin. Cleanskin. Not an amateur. Better we use a professional. Not an amateur. Better we use a professional. Cleanskin. No record. Please. Cleanskin. No record. Please. I'll try Melbourne. I'll try Melbourne. Lot of killers down there. Lot of killers down there. Let me get a blessing first. Let me get a blessing first. (MEN LAUGH, SPEAK ITALIAN) (MEN LAUGH, SPEAK ITALIAN) NARRATOR: The Calabrian mafia is known as 'Ndrangheta - NARRATOR: The Calabrian mafia is known as 'Ndrangheta - the 'Honoured Society'. the 'Honoured Society'. In Australia it amounts to an informal coalition of families. In Australia it amounts to an informal coalition of families. But they're still capable of ordering a murder. But they're still capable of ordering a murder. (MEN CHEER) (MEN CHEER) (HEAVY ROCK MUSIC) (HEAVY ROCK MUSIC) Meet the Kane brothers, Brian and Les, Meet the Kane brothers, Brian and Les, the meanest men in Melbourne. the meanest men in Melbourne. Members of the notorious Federated Painters and Dockers' Union, Members of the notorious Federated Painters and Dockers' Union, they ruled the criminal world with an iron fist, they ruled the criminal world with an iron fist, helping themselves to a slice of everybody else's action. helping themselves to a slice of everybody else's action. I made strawberry jam out of shit. (LAUGHTER) I made strawberry jam out of shit. (LAUGHTER) Fuck off, Flannery! Fuck off, Flannery! (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (BELL DINGS) (BELL DINGS) Beautiful. Thanks, Mick. Now, listen. Beautiful. Thanks, Mick. Now, listen. That left of yours is coming along nice, mate. Alright? That left of yours is coming along nice, mate. Alright? Cheers, mate. Just wish I could fucking hit something with it. Cheers, mate. Just wish I could fucking hit something with it. You will, mate. You will. Don't worry about... You will, mate. You will. Don't worry about... Brian. How are they hangin'? Brian. How are they hangin'? NARRATOR: They also earned a bob on the side NARRATOR: They also earned a bob on the side protecting Aussie Bob's drug distribution network protecting Aussie Bob's drug distribution network south of the border. south of the border. I'm with ya! I'm with ya! Bob's got other things to worry about. Bob's got other things to worry about. Hey, Brian, um...you got a sec? Hey, Brian, um...you got a sec? Eh, you haven't come to register a complaint, have you, Frankie? Eh, you haven't come to register a complaint, have you, Frankie? No. Very satisfied with the standard of protection you provide. No. Very satisfied with the standard of protection you provide. We like to call it the Kane brothers' insurance scheme. We like to call it the Kane brothers' insurance scheme. (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) I'm looking for a shooter. I'm looking for a shooter. Oh, what, to off someone, yeah? Oh, what, to off someone, yeah? You are asking me and Les to off a bloke? You are asking me and Les to off a bloke? Or recommend someone. No Docker. Or recommend someone. No Docker. There's a drink in it. There's a drink in it. Eh. What about old Mick? Eh. What about old Mick? Nah. Nah. Mick Gatto couldn't hit the back end of a bull with a handful of rice. Mick Gatto couldn't hit the back end of a bull with a handful of rice. Gatto. Nup. Gatto. Nup. No Italians. No Italians. Frank, it's not really our bag. Frank, it's not really our bag. Pot of VB, thanks, love. Pot of VB, thanks, love. Hey, mate. Hey, mate. Excuse me. Excuse me. Are you looking for a shooter? Are you looking for a shooter? I'm available. I'm available. We got our own guns. Oh, it doesn't have to be guns. We got our own guns. Oh, it doesn't have to be guns. We can use knives. Anything. We can use knives. Anything. Bit of fuckin' four by two - anything you want. Bit of fuckin' four by two - anything you want. It's your call, mate. You're the boss. It's your call, mate. You're the boss. How much it worth? How much it worth? You ever offed a man before? You ever offed a man before? Sorry, boys. Maybe next time, uh? Sorry, boys. Maybe next time, uh? Fuck! Should've said dozen! Fuck! Should've said dozen! Two dozen, Laurie! Fuck off, Chris! Two dozen, Laurie! Fuck off, Chris! NARRATOR: One day they called Chris Flannery 'Mr Rent-a-kill'. NARRATOR: One day they called Chris Flannery 'Mr Rent-a-kill'. But not today. But not today. GIRL: Mum, you forgot your lunch! GIRL: Mum, you forgot your lunch! Oh, thank you, sweetheart. Oh, thank you, sweetheart. You go back inside. Quickly. You go back inside. Quickly. NARRATOR: Everyone has their heroes. NARRATOR: Everyone has their heroes. For me, as a seven-year-old, my hero was my mum... For me, as a seven-year-old, my hero was my mum... ..Detective Liz Cruickshank. ..Detective Liz Cruickshank. I don't want you anywhere near my house, Les. I don't want you anywhere near my house, Les. We clear on that? (SNIGGERS) We clear on that? (SNIGGERS) You got something for me? You got something for me? I do love it when you talk dirty to me, Lizzy. I do love it when you talk dirty to me, Lizzy. Morning, sir. Just had a meeting... D-d-d-d-d... Morning, sir. Just had a meeting... D-d-d-d-d... Sir, I just had a meeting with a fizz. Sir, I just had a meeting with a fizz. There's an Italian going around town looking for a hitman. There's an Italian going around town looking for a hitman. Who's the target? He doesn't know. Who's the target? He doesn't know. That's what I call useless information. That's what I call useless information. He also said that the shooter has to be an Aussie. He also said that the shooter has to be an Aussie. So, what are we talking about? A...a non-Italian target? So, what are we talking about? A...a non-Italian target? That would be my guess. That would be my guess. How reliable is this informer of yours, Cruickshank? How reliable is this informer of yours, Cruickshank? He did also say that he saw Ray Chuck He did also say that he saw Ray Chuck at a petrol station last week. at a petrol station last week. The armed robber? He's in jail in England. The armed robber? He's in jail in England. Told him that. Told him that. File an intelligence note and, um...freshen the pot. File an intelligence note and, um...freshen the pot. Lapsang souchong. Yes, I know. Thank you. Lapsang souchong. Yes, I know. Thank you. NARRATOR: Detective Inspector Joe Messina NARRATOR: Detective Inspector Joe Messina was Victoria's most admired police officer. was Victoria's most admired police officer. It was an honour to work for him, Mum said. It was an honour to work for him, Mum said. But that didn't mean she had to like him. But that didn't mean she had to like him. Franko! As I live and breathe. (CHUCKLES) Franko! As I live and breathe. (CHUCKLES) You don't look a day older. You don't look a day older. I'd give you a big kiss, George, I'd give you a big kiss, George, but these good Richmond folks might get the wrong idea, uh? but these good Richmond folks might get the wrong idea, uh? (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) So... So... ..how's the gun shop business, uh? ..how's the gun shop business, uh? Having copper mates never hurts. Having copper mates never hurts. A beer? Or do you want a woggy wine? Give me a beer. A beer? Or do you want a woggy wine? Give me a beer. Sure. Sure. What can I do for you, Franko? What can I do for you, Franko? You heard I'm looking for someone? You heard I'm looking for someone? Thought you might know the right man. Thought you might know the right man. He calls himself Fred. Which one? He calls himself Fred. Which one? (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) NARRATOR: James Frederick Bazley bred poodles for fun. NARRATOR: James Frederick Bazley bred poodles for fun. Shooting people for money was strictly a job. Shooting people for money was strictly a job. Know what this is about? Know what this is about? Who's the mark? Who's the mark? Furniture salesman. Furniture salesman. You don't need to know why. You don't need to know why. Job's interstate. Job's interstate. I'll pay all expenses - I'll pay all expenses - airfares, motel, hire car. airfares, motel, hire car. You just tell me the fee. You just tell me the fee. I thought you blokes took care of your own shit - I thought you blokes took care of your own shit - Eyeties, mafia, or whatever the fuck you are. Eyeties, mafia, or whatever the fuck you are. You want the job? 10,000. You want the job? 10,000. Six now, four on completion. Six now, four on completion. I work alone. I work alone. (PHONE RINGS) (PHONE RINGS) Good afternoon. Mackay's Furniture. Good afternoon. Mackay's Furniture. Probably dry-cleanable, actually. Probably dry-cleanable, actually. Oh. Well, I'll just get him for you. Oh. Well, I'll just get him for you. Donald? Donald? A Mr Adams for you. A Mr Adams for you. Would you excuse me for a minute, please? Would you excuse me for a minute, please? Adams? Hmm? Adams? Hmm? Do I know any Adams? Do I know any Adams? He says it's your lucky day. He says it's your lucky day. Mr Adams, Don Mackay speaking. Mr Adams, Don Mackay speaking. G'day. Guess who just won the Golden Casket? G'day. Guess who just won the Golden Casket? Wow! I'm always happy to speak to a lottery winner. Wow! I'm always happy to speak to a lottery winner. Uh...congratulations. Thanks. Uh...congratulations. Thanks. So I thought I'd splash out and buy my daughter-in-law some furniture. So I thought I'd splash out and buy my daughter-in-law some furniture. That's very generous of you. That's very generous of you. What sort of things does your daughter-in-law like? What sort of things does your daughter-in-law like? The most expensive. What else? The most expensive. What else? I tell you what, I tell you what, why don't you drive to Jerilderie? why don't you drive to Jerilderie? You can quote on the whole bloody house. You can quote on the whole bloody house. Well, that sounds like an offer I can't refuse. Well, that sounds like an offer I can't refuse. Uh...where and when, Mr Adams? Uh...where and when, Mr Adams? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Be my pleasure. Be my pleasure. No. Thank YOU. No. Thank YOU. (CRANKS HANDBRAKE) (CRANKS HANDBRAKE) NARRATOR: As it happened, Don couldn't make it - NARRATOR: As it happened, Don couldn't make it - he had a funeral to arrange for a family friend. he had a funeral to arrange for a family friend. So he sent Bruce Pursehouse. So he sent Bruce Pursehouse. And Bruce took his father-in-law along for the ride. And Bruce took his father-in-law along for the ride. Don Mackay didn't know it, Don Mackay didn't know it, but he had bought himself three more days of life. but he had bought himself three more days of life. Putana! How hard is it to shoot a bloke? Putana! How hard is it to shoot a bloke? He said Friday night. He said Friday night. He said he'd do it yesterday! He said he'd do it yesterday! Every hour he puts it off, there are more things that can go wrong! Every hour he puts it off, there are more things that can go wrong! Mackay always goes to the pub on a Friday night. When he comes out... Mackay always goes to the pub on a Friday night. When he comes out... (SPEAKS ITALIAN) Get an alibi for Friday night. (SPEAKS ITALIAN) Get an alibi for Friday night. Can't it wait till tomorrow? Can't it wait till tomorrow? Told the customer she could have it tonight. Told the customer she could have it tonight. Oh. Oh. Well, it's cutting into good drinking time. Well, it's cutting into good drinking time. Yeah. Just...watch the legs. Yeah. Just...watch the legs. Oh, bugger it. I'll call the lady, tell her we'll deliver it tomorrow. Oh, bugger it. I'll call the lady, tell her we'll deliver it tomorrow. That's why I like working for you, Don. That's why I like working for you, Don. You're corruptible. (LAUGHS) You're corruptible. (LAUGHS) When it comes to beer, I am. When it comes to beer, I am. Me too, buddy. Me too. Me too, buddy. Me too. It's just I promised the girls I'd be there. It's just I promised the girls I'd be there. Barb, I told you. It's not a problem. Just go to the meeting. It's fine. Barb, I told you. It's not a problem. Just go to the meeting. It's fine. I don't want to be late. I don't want to be late. Well... Yeah, he'll be OK. Well... Yeah, he'll be OK. (DINGS BELL) (DINGS BELL) He will. (MOUTHS SILENTLY) He will. (MOUTHS SILENTLY) Look, I'll be home at 7:00 on the dot, and that is a solid promise. Look, I'll be home at 7:00 on the dot, and that is a solid promise. Will you give Horrie his tablet? Yeah, leave it with me. Will you give Horrie his tablet? Yeah, leave it with me. Ah, yes, the last time you said that, you forgot. Ah, yes, the last time you said that, you forgot. Barb, I'm running for State Parliament. Barb, I'm running for State Parliament. I reckon I can give a dog a pill. I reckon I can give a dog a pill. I was telling the blokes today, I was telling the blokes today, we have to flog it to pay off the national debt. we have to flog it to pay off the national debt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like... like Medibank. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like... like Medibank. Yeah? What about no-fault divorce? What about no-fault divorce? Bruce, Australia cannot afford to have a Labor government, Bruce, Australia cannot afford to have a Labor government, at any level. at any level. Anyway, nice to meet you, guys. Anyway, nice to meet you, guys. And I hope I can rely on your vote on polling day. And I hope I can rely on your vote on polling day. (MUFFLED VOICES CELEBRATE) Hey, Malcolm! (MUFFLED VOICES CELEBRATE) Hey, Malcolm! (ALL CHEER) (ALL CHEER) Hey, hey. Come on... Hey, hey. Come on... Look, mate, I can't stay. I gotta... Look, mate, I can't stay. I gotta... No, no, no. No, no, no. Come on. Yeah, sit down here. Come on. Yeah, sit down here. (CALLS OUT ANIMATEDLY) (CALLS OUT ANIMATEDLY) (GASPS) (GASPS) (PHONE RINGS) (PHONE RINGS) (CLEARS THROAT) Yeah? (CLEARS THROAT) Yeah? I got his driver's licence and a dentist bill. Do you want 'em? I got his driver's licence and a dentist bill. Do you want 'em? Burn 'em. Burn 'em. Where is he now? Where is he now? Pet food. Pet food. Fred put him through a meat grinder. Fred put him through a meat grinder. NARRATOR: Donald Bruce Mackay. NARRATOR: Donald Bruce Mackay. 44 years old. 44 years old. Loving husband, loving father. Citizen. Loving husband, loving father. Citizen. His body has never been found. His body has never been found. (WHINES) (WHINES) Here, love. Come here. Here, love. Come here. Do you know how much trouble you've caused, you fat fuckin' dago? Do you know how much trouble you've caused, you fat fuckin' dago? No call for language, Malcolm. No call for language, Malcolm. Fuck me! You could not have picked a worse guy if you'd tried. Fuck me! You could not have picked a worse guy if you'd tried. Don Mackay? Don Mackay? I don't know nothing about it. I don't know nothing about it. And setting me up as your alibi? And setting me up as your alibi? How about a nice cappuccino? How about a nice cappuccino? I don't want a cappu-fucking-ccino, I want an explanation. I don't want a cappu-fucking-ccino, I want an explanation. So do the boys in town. They're not happy, mate. So do the boys in town. They're not happy, mate. Now, worst comes to worst, I arrest you and I deny everything. Now, worst comes to worst, I arrest you and I deny everything. Six months time, no-one'll even remember his name. Six months time, no-one'll even remember his name. (PHONE RINGS) (PHONE RINGS) Yeah? Yeah? Hey, Franko. What news? Hey, Franko. What news? Paisan. You tell Ray Chuck I'd be thrilled to meet him. Paisan. You tell Ray Chuck I'd be thrilled to meet him. (POLICE TALK IN THE BACKGROUND) (POLICE TALK IN THE BACKGROUND) "The wife of Griffith businessman and anti-drug campaigner, Mr Don Mackay, "The wife of Griffith businessman and anti-drug campaigner, Mr Don Mackay, "believes her husband is dead. "believes her husband is dead. "But she said yesterday she did not know "But she said yesterday she did not know "who would have wanted to kill him. "who would have wanted to kill him. "Mr Mackay has been missing since Friday night." "Mr Mackay has been missing since Friday night." Could this be our man? Could this be our man? Mystery Italians. Mystery Aussie hitman? Mystery Italians. Mystery Aussie hitman? Stretching the logic a bit, isn't it, sir? Stretching the logic a bit, isn't it, sir? How many contract killings occur in Australia in any one year? How many contract killings occur in Australia in any one year? MAN: (ON INTERCOM) Sir, I've got the chief of Sydney Detectives MAN: (ON INTERCOM) Sir, I've got the chief of Sydney Detectives on the line, Inspector Bill Allen. on the line, Inspector Bill Allen. Joe Messina, Victoria Major Crimes. Bill, thanks for taking my call. Joe Messina, Victoria Major Crimes. Bill, thanks for taking my call. What can I do for you, Joe? What can I do for you, Joe? The Mackay case in Griffith - we have information The Mackay case in Griffith - we have information Italian interests were scouting for a shooter in Melbourne. Italian interests were scouting for a shooter in Melbourne. I was wondering if there's any connection. I was wondering if there's any connection. Talking hard evidence, are we? Talking hard evidence, are we? More rumour, to be honest. No names, certainly. More rumour, to be honest. No names, certainly. Thanks for your interest, Joe, but we've got that well in hand. Thanks for your interest, Joe, but we've got that well in hand. I've sent a hand-picked homicide team down to Griffith. I've sent a hand-picked homicide team down to Griffith. Cheerio. Cheerio. Cheerio. Cheerio. (FRUSTRATED) Ugh! (FRUSTRATED) Ugh! (SLAMS PHONE DOWN) NARRATOR: Detective Sergeant Phil De La Salle NARRATOR: Detective Sergeant Phil De La Salle was absolutely thrilled when they handed him the Mackay case. was absolutely thrilled when they handed him the Mackay case. He'd never headed up a murder inquiry before. He'd never headed up a murder inquiry before. 72 hours after the shots were fired, 72 hours after the shots were fired, he drove into Griffith, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, he drove into Griffith, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, bursting with confidence. bursting with confidence. These look like drag marks. Looks like murder, boss. These look like drag marks. Looks like murder, boss. Murder requires a body, Warwick. Murder requires a body, Warwick. Until such time as we have a body, Until such time as we have a body, or the Coroner tells us otherwise, or the Coroner tells us otherwise, this is a disappearance. this is a disappearance. Don't we have to assume foul play? Don't we have to assume foul play? Let's not make reckless accusations. Let's not make reckless accusations. Whole world's watching, Warwick. Whole world's watching, Warwick. Phil, is it? Phil, is it? Malcolm Paris. Malcolm Paris. Mobbs. Mobbs. What's your reading, Malcolm? What's your reading, Malcolm? Oh, we reckon it's all a bit suss, you know. Oh, we reckon it's all a bit suss, you know. Something doesn't smell right. Something doesn't smell right. What? Because there's no body? What? Because there's no body? There's no body, you know. There's no body, you know. Take a look at the blood spray, the strategically placed shells. Take a look at the blood spray, the strategically placed shells. I'm no forensics expert but I reckon it all looks a bit staged. I'm no forensics expert but I reckon it all looks a bit staged. Like someone's trying to convince us that Mackay's dead, Like someone's trying to convince us that Mackay's dead, if you know what I mean. if you know what I mean. So why would he disappear? So why would he disappear? Did he have money worries? Did he have marital problems? Did he have money worries? Did he have marital problems? Oh, who doesn't, mate, eh? (LAUGHS) Oh, who doesn't, mate, eh? (LAUGHS) Was he a friend of yours, Malcolm? Was he a friend of yours, Malcolm? Oh, me and Don had a lot of respect for each other, yeah. Oh, me and Don had a lot of respect for each other, yeah. Don have any enemies? Lot of people hate politicians. Don have any enemies? Lot of people hate politicians. You're not wrong, Warwick. You're not wrong, Warwick. A few weeks ago a bloke called Bob Trimbole threatened to kill him. A few weeks ago a bloke called Bob Trimbole threatened to kill him. Gentlemen. Gentlemen. Ray Bennett. Ray Bennett. Also go by the name of Ray Chuck. Also go by the name of Ray Chuck. Thought you were supposed to be in stir in Pommyland. Thought you were supposed to be in stir in Pommyland. I was. Now I'm back. I was. Now I'm back. NARRATOR: Ray Chuck, the armed robber's armed robber. NARRATOR: Ray Chuck, the armed robber's armed robber. He'd learned his trade at the feet of the masters, He'd learned his trade at the feet of the masters, London's notorious Wembley gang. London's notorious Wembley gang. I got a job opp. I got a job opp. I need to move a large amount of cash overseas. I need to move a large amount of cash overseas. Now, Frank here says you've got ways and means. Now, Frank here says you've got ways and means. How large? How large? Could be huge. Millions. Could be huge. Millions. Where do you want to shift it to? Where do you want to shift it to? Philippines. Manila. Philippines. Manila. Oh, shouldn't be a problem. Oh, shouldn't be a problem. Place is awash with Aussie dollars. Place is awash with Aussie dollars. We could use a legit route We could use a legit route and use a shopfront bank like the Bank of Cyprus. and use a shopfront bank like the Bank of Cyprus. We could move it through a solicitor's trust fund - We could move it through a solicitor's trust fund - that's tried and true. that's tried and true. But I reckon simple is the best. But I reckon simple is the best. Why don't we just walk the money in suitcases onto a cargo boat? Why don't we just walk the money in suitcases onto a cargo boat? Boat docks in Manila. Cases are walked off again. Boat docks in Manila. Cases are walked off again. Ray Chuck's there to collect and bob's your uncle. Ray Chuck's there to collect and bob's your uncle. No. Fuck that. No. Fuck that. The wharves are controlled The wharves are controlled by Brian and Les fucking Kane and their mates. by Brian and Les fucking Kane and their mates. Now, I've got now intention, none whatsoever, Now, I've got now intention, none whatsoever, of cutting those greedy bastards in. of cutting those greedy bastards in. Huh? Understand? Huh? Understand? Fair enough. But I'm talking ANL Sydney. Fair enough. But I'm talking ANL Sydney. Not Melbourne. Not Melbourne. The boats from there do the Philippines run regular. The boats from there do the Philippines run regular. Our fee is 8% of the takings. Our fee is 8% of the takings. Gentlemen. Gentlemen. What's the job? What's the job? Bob. Manners. Bob. Manners. Where the bloody hell have you been? Where the bloody hell have you been? This thing in Griffith - This thing in Griffith - any chance the cops will trace it back to you? any chance the cops will trace it back to you? What do you think I am? An amateur like you? What do you think I am? An amateur like you? Bob! Why did you have to kill him? Bob! Why did you have to kill him? It's an example to any other clam who thinks about giving us any grief. It's an example to any other clam who thinks about giving us any grief. If they do look into it, Bob, what are they going to find? If they do look into it, Bob, what are they going to find? Relax, kid. Nobody knows. Relax, kid. Nobody knows. They're going to find me. They're going to find me. I said relax! I said relax! Here, buy yourself a lolly. Here, buy yourself a lolly. (HORN HONKS) (HORN HONKS) Girls. Hair of the dog? Girls. Hair of the dog? Any news on the bush telegraph, Brian, Any news on the bush telegraph, Brian, re Donald Bruce Mackay? re Donald Bruce Mackay? Well, I'm told the brass aren't too keen on making an arrest. Well, I'm told the brass aren't too keen on making an arrest. That's why they've sent supercop to Griffith. That's why they've sent supercop to Griffith. That is if he can find the joint. That is if he can find the joint. By the way, your Kiwi buddy, Greg Ollard, By the way, your Kiwi buddy, Greg Ollard, he's moonlighting. he's moonlighting. Mate, he wouldn't dare stiff me. Mate, he wouldn't dare stiff me. The narcotic agent on my payroll's been tailing him. The narcotic agent on my payroll's been tailing him. He's setting up his own supply line. He's setting up his own supply line. He just got off a flight from Bangkok. He just got off a flight from Bangkok. What do you think he was doing up there, Phillip? What do you think he was doing up there, Phillip? (IMITATES NEW ZEALAND ACCENT) Ping-pong championships? (IMITATES NEW ZEALAND ACCENT) Ping-pong championships? See you, ladies. See you, ladies. He said he was on holiday in Bali. He said he was on holiday in Bali. Well, he's got to be planning to undercut us, Well, he's got to be planning to undercut us, otherwise he wouldn't have kept it a secret. otherwise he wouldn't have kept it a secret. I'll handle Greg. I'll handle Greg. NARRATOR: Terry's old prison buddy Greg Ollard NARRATOR: Terry's old prison buddy Greg Ollard was his key heroin distributor in Sydney. was his key heroin distributor in Sydney. Everyone was making big money, but greedy Greg wanted more. Everyone was making big money, but greedy Greg wanted more. Greedy, stupid Greg. Greedy, stupid Greg. Only a stupid man cheated Terry Clark. Only a stupid man cheated Terry Clark. (MEN LAUGH) (MEN LAUGH) TERRY: Greg. TERRY: Greg. (CLEARS THROAT) (CLEARS THROAT) What's up, chief? What's up, chief? How long have we been mates? How long have we been mates? Well, I don't know. Back in stir, '74? Well, I don't know. Back in stir, '74? What have I done, Greg? What have I done, Greg? Why don't you love me anymore? Why don't you love me anymore? What do you mean? What do you mean? I know about Bangkok. Setting up your own supply. I know about Bangkok. Setting up your own supply. Look, Terry... Look, Terry... Why would you do that - go behind my back, betray me? Why would you do that - go behind my back, betray me? I just thought that... I know what you thought. I just thought that... I know what you thought. You thought you'd steal my customers. You thought you'd steal my customers. Undercut me. Send me broke. That's what you thought. Undercut me. Send me broke. That's what you thought. Mate. No, no, no, no. Mate. No, no, no, no. It was just a spur of the moment, just...stupid piece of insanity. It was just a spur of the moment, just...stupid piece of insanity. OK? I mean, where am I going to find Chinese White? Huh? OK? I mean, where am I going to find Chinese White? Huh? You're the only guy that customers want to deal with. You're the only guy that customers want to deal with. (LAUGHS) I've got nothing to worry about? (LAUGHS) I've got nothing to worry about? Hey, not a thing. Hey, not a thing. Not a thing. Not a thing. I can count on your loyalty? I can count on your loyalty? Cross my heart and hope to die. Cross my heart and hope to die. Cor! (LAUGHS) You scared me, man. Cor! (LAUGHS) You scared me, man. Make me a drink. Make me a drink. It was the drug people. It had to be. It was the drug people. It had to be. That's not what you said to the press, though, Barbara. That's not what you said to the press, though, Barbara. Because I'm terrified of them, that's why. Because I'm terrified of them, that's why. If they come after me, what happens to my family? If they come after me, what happens to my family? Don spoke out against them every chance he got, Don spoke out against them every chance he got, and that's the way to make enemies around here. and that's the way to make enemies around here. Is it possible he walked out on you and he made it look like a murder? Is it possible he walked out on you and he made it look like a murder? No. No. But is it impossible that he was involved with another woman? But is it impossible that he was involved with another woman? I knew my husband. I knew my husband. He was the most decent man I've ever met. He was the most decent man I've ever met. PHIL DE LA SALLE: "If you make accusations against my family, PHIL DE LA SALLE: "If you make accusations against my family, "I will effing kill you." "I will effing kill you." Did you say that to him? Did you say that to him? Something like that. Strong words. Something like that. Strong words. Did you mean it? Did you mean it? 'Course I didn't. 'Course I didn't. I was het up. I was het up. You threatened to kill a man who's now missing, You threatened to kill a man who's now missing, possibly dead. possibly dead. OK. Where were you Friday night from 6:00 onwards? OK. Where were you Friday night from 6:00 onwards? I was having a business dinner with associates at La Scala - I was having a business dinner with associates at La Scala - it's an Italian restaurant here in town. it's an Italian restaurant here in town. OK. Can you give me some names? OK. Can you give me some names? Sure. Sure. Malcolm Paris was there. Malcolm Paris was there. Country town, Warwick. Everybody knows everybody. Country town, Warwick. Everybody knows everybody. Do you grow pot, Mr Trimbole? Do you grow pot, Mr Trimbole? Now, you wouldn't be asking me that if I was Mr Jones, would you? Now, you wouldn't be asking me that if I was Mr Jones, would you? You're welcome to search my place. You're welcome to search my place. I've got nothing to hide. I've got nothing to hide. I've never been in trouble with the law in me life. I've never been in trouble with the law in me life. We finished? 'Cause I'm rooted. We finished? 'Cause I'm rooted. Pizza night at the Coronation Club, mate. Malcolm'll give you the jib. Pizza night at the Coronation Club, mate. Malcolm'll give you the jib. Got a bit worked up there, matey? (CHUCKLES) Got a bit worked up there, matey? (CHUCKLES) Talk to Mackay's bank first thing. Talk to Mackay's bank first thing. If we take Malcolm with us, I doubt we'll need a warrant. If we take Malcolm with us, I doubt we'll need a warrant. What do you make of him? What do you make of him? Malcolm? Malcolm? Well, he and Trimbole are a little too close with each other for mine. Well, he and Trimbole are a little too close with each other for mine. OK, so what's the population, hmm? 12,000, 15,000? OK, so what's the population, hmm? 12,000, 15,000? 'Course they know each other. 'Course they know each other. What's the first thing a good copper does What's the first thing a good copper does when he moves to a new town, Warwick? when he moves to a new town, Warwick? Shakes everybody's hand. Shakes everybody's hand. But this is Griffith, Phil. Bloody heartland of the cannabis industry. But this is Griffith, Phil. Bloody heartland of the cannabis industry. Coppers take money to look the other way, you know that. Coppers take money to look the other way, you know that. So what are you saying? Malcolm's involved in Mackay's disappearance? So what are you saying? Malcolm's involved in Mackay's disappearance? Or murder. Maybe. Or murder. Maybe. I don't know, but I know I don't bloody trust him. I don't know, but I know I don't bloody trust him. Who was it that pointed us to Trimbole? Who was it that pointed us to Trimbole? Well, since he's Trimbole's alibi, Well, since he's Trimbole's alibi, maybe he thought it was worth the risk. maybe he thought it was worth the risk. Listen, mate. We weren't sent here to take on the coppers. Listen, mate. We weren't sent here to take on the coppers. Got it? Got it? Hello, Ray. Hello, Ray. Long time no see. Long time no see. Oooh. Oooh. Hey, thought you might have put your roots down, mate. Hey, thought you might have put your roots down, mate. Call yourself a Pommy bastard. Call yourself a Pommy bastard. What brings you boys all the way out to Keilor? What brings you boys all the way out to Keilor? Jungle drums are beating, mate. Jungle drums are beating, mate. Ooger-booger. Ooger-booger. Ooger-booger. Ooger-booger. Ray Chuck's got a job on. Ray Chuck's got a job on. It's a good thing you haven't lost your work ethic. It's a good thing you haven't lost your work ethic. Sorry, boys. I've got nothing on. Sorry, boys. I've got nothing on. In fact, I'm going back to the wharves. In fact, I'm going back to the wharves. We don't need to know what the job is. We don't need to know what the job is. In fact, we don't care, mate. We don't. In fact, we don't care, mate. We don't. But what you've got to remember, Ray, is nothing's changed. But what you've got to remember, Ray, is nothing's changed. So if you want our tick of approval... So if you want our tick of approval... Ray, you want our tick of approval, mate. Ray, you want our tick of approval, mate. ..we get a big drink out of it. ..we get a big drink out of it. I didn't do hard time over there to come home and get butt-fucked. I didn't do hard time over there to come home and get butt-fucked. Yeah? Yeah? (INHALES DEEPLY) (INHALES DEEPLY) OK, Ray. OK, Ray. NARRATOR: Pit bulls, born and bred to fight, NARRATOR: Pit bulls, born and bred to fight, to sink their teeth in and hang on like grim death to sink their teeth in and hang on like grim death until the last drop of blood was spilt. until the last drop of blood was spilt. And pretty soon the blood would start flowing. And pretty soon the blood would start flowing. NARRATOR: Chris Flannery and Laurie Prendergast - identical twins. NARRATOR: Chris Flannery and Laurie Prendergast - identical twins. Except they weren't blood-related. Except they weren't blood-related. Anyway, they loved each other like brothers, Anyway, they loved each other like brothers, which means they fought like cat and dog which means they fought like cat and dog and never missed a chance to hang shit on each other. and never missed a chance to hang shit on each other. Listen, getting a few heads together for a job coming up Listen, getting a few heads together for a job coming up and I put your name forward and he's interested. and I put your name forward and he's interested. Who? Ray Chuck. Who? Ray Chuck. Ray Chuck? Yeah. Ray Chuck? Yeah. You pulling my leg? Nuh. Deadly serious, mate. See ya. You pulling my leg? Nuh. Deadly serious, mate. See ya. (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) Vinnie Mikkelsen, wasn't it? Vinnie Mikkelsen, wasn't it? What did he want? Nothin'. What did he want? Nothin'. He's got a job on, hasn't he? Ray Chuck. He's got a job on, hasn't he? Ray Chuck. Talk to me, Laurie, you devious little fucker! Talk to me, Laurie, you devious little fucker! MAN: 27. MAN: 27. 28. 28. (MEN GROAN) 29. (MEN GROAN) 29. Come on, ladies. Come on, ladies. Now, down, 10 push-ups. 1, 2, 3, 4. Now, down, 10 push-ups. 1, 2, 3, 4. Come on. 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! Come on. 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! Take a break, ladies. Take a break, ladies. Well done. Well done. Fuck. Fuck. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! No smoking. No smoking. We need fitness if we're gonna get this job done. We need fitness if we're gonna get this job done. OK? OK? Give us a hint, Ray. A bank, payroll, armoured car, what? Give us a hint, Ray. A bank, payroll, armoured car, what? You'll know when you need to know. You'll know when you need to know. Hey, fellas. Ray. Flannery, what are you doing here? Hey, fellas. Ray. Flannery, what are you doing here? Thought I could lend a hand. Thought I could lend a hand. Wheelman, second gun, whatever - I'll do anything, mate. Wheelman, second gun, whatever - I'll do anything, mate. Look, I don't know what you're talking about. Look, I don't know what you're talking about. We're just getting ourselves fit. We're just getting ourselves fit. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? I'm already fit, mate. Yeah? I'm already fit, mate. Everyone says you're a psycho. Everyone says you're a psycho. (SCOFFS) I'll let Mother know when I go home, then, will I? (SCOFFS) I'll let Mother know when I go home, then, will I? (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) Come on, Ray. Come on, Ray. Can't have too many psychos on your team, now, can you? Can't have too many psychos on your team, now, can you? Alright, come on. Alright, come on. Hey, mate, Chris Flannery. How are ya? Vinnie. Hey, mate, Chris Flannery. How are ya? Vinnie. Chris Flannery, how you doing? G'day, mate. Chris Flannery, how you doing? G'day, mate. How are ya? Chris Flannery. How are ya? Chris Flannery. Now - job day, so three of you fat bastards won't make it. Now - job day, so three of you fat bastards won't make it. Which three? Which three? Who's up to it, who's not? Who's up to it, who's not? Four. Four. Don was supposed to go Jerilderie Don was supposed to go Jerilderie to see a Mr Adams about furnishing a house, to see a Mr Adams about furnishing a house, except a family friend died suddenly except a family friend died suddenly and he had to help with the funeral. and he had to help with the funeral. I took my father-in-law along for the drive. I took my father-in-law along for the drive. We went in Don's Fairlane. We went in Don's Fairlane. Very comfortable touring car, the Fairlane. Very comfortable touring car, the Fairlane. Anyway, we did see a bloke in a white Ford sedan parked nearby. Anyway, we did see a bloke in a white Ford sedan parked nearby. I reckon there never was a Mr Adams. I reckon there never was a Mr Adams. I think it was the murderer, that's who the bloke in the white Ford was. I think it was the murderer, that's who the bloke in the white Ford was. But we don't know it's a murder. But we don't know it's a murder. It was a murder, believe me. I know Don Mackay. You don't. It was a murder, believe me. I know Don Mackay. You don't. OK. Are you sure it was a Ford? OK. Are you sure it was a Ford? Yeah, it had the 4.1 badges on the front mudguard. Yeah, it had the 4.1 badges on the front mudguard. Registration number? Mmm. Sorry. Registration number? Mmm. Sorry. But I'd recognise the bloke, the driver. But I'd recognise the bloke, the driver. Description? Description? I reckon the bloke was mid-40s, he was wearing a suit. I reckon the bloke was mid-40s, he was wearing a suit. A suit? Yeah, a suit. A suit? Yeah, a suit. He was clean-shaven, around 5'7", dark hair, that's it. He was clean-shaven, around 5'7", dark hair, that's it. Ever heard of a hitman walking into a country town Ever heard of a hitman walking into a country town wearing a bag of fruit? wearing a bag of fruit? I think we should shoot over there, I think we should shoot over there, see if we can find ourselves a witness. see if we can find ourselves a witness. Jerilderie's a three-hour drive, mate. You'd have to overnight it. Jerilderie's a three-hour drive, mate. You'd have to overnight it. I'm game. Boss? I'm game. Boss? Any time you like. Any time you like. I'll go along, Phil. Keep the lad on the straight and narrow. I'll go along, Phil. Keep the lad on the straight and narrow. Why not? That's the way to investigate a homicide. Why not? That's the way to investigate a homicide. Ruling out suspects, Warwick. Ruling out suspects, Warwick. Skip, a Mr Forrester on the phone for you. Skip, a Mr Forrester on the phone for you. He's got some information on Friday night. He's got some information on Friday night. I'm driving into town this way, right? I'm driving into town this way, right? Yep. Yep. And as I approach the bend, I notice a car coming the other way. And as I approach the bend, I notice a car coming the other way. White Ford Fairmont. White Ford Fairmont. What, coming from Griffith? Yeah. What, coming from Griffith? Yeah. And just as I get to it, this other car comes screaming up behind it, And just as I get to it, this other car comes screaming up behind it, pulls out right in front of me and overtakes. pulls out right in front of me and overtakes. Did you get the make and the model? EJ Holden, green with a white roof. Did you get the make and the model? EJ Holden, green with a white roof. Constable, I want you to place an alert Constable, I want you to place an alert on a green EJ Holden with a white roof. on a green EJ Holden with a white roof. OK, car leaving Griffith on Hillstone Road at high speed OK, car leaving Griffith on Hillstone Road at high speed between 6:30 and 7:00 Friday night. between 6:30 and 7:00 Friday night. No worries, skipper. No worries, skipper. And I want you to place an advert in every local paper within 100 miles. And I want you to place an advert in every local paper within 100 miles. Appealing for information. You write it, I'll place it. Appealing for information. You write it, I'll place it. Detective Inspector Messina, Victoria Police. Bill Allen, please. Detective Inspector Messina, Victoria Police. Bill Allen, please. He's expecting you, is he, sir? No, but he'll get over the shock. He's expecting you, is he, sir? No, but he'll get over the shock. BILL ALLEN: Assuming this mystery Italian is connected to Mackay, BILL ALLEN: Assuming this mystery Italian is connected to Mackay, how is that a Victoria Police matter? how is that a Victoria Police matter? The conspiracy to murder may have occurred in Victoria. The conspiracy to murder may have occurred in Victoria. At this stage, we are just talking disappearance, At this stage, we are just talking disappearance, perhaps engineered by Mackay himself. perhaps engineered by Mackay himself. No-one's talking murder. No-one's talking murder. Crooks knocking off crooks is one thing. Crooks knocking off crooks is one thing. Killing politicians, we can't allow that, can we, Bill? Killing politicians, we can't allow that, can we, Bill? Police across the country have to draw a line in the sand. Police across the country have to draw a line in the sand. I'm late for a meeting. I'm late for a meeting. We've canvassed dozens of people who live and work We've canvassed dozens of people who live and work around the Jerilderie Post Office and Motel around the Jerilderie Post Office and Motel and we couldn't find a soul who remembers seeing the killer's Ford. and we couldn't find a soul who remembers seeing the killer's Ford. Now we're convinced he's the killer, are we? Now we're convinced he's the killer, are we? I'm talking about Bruce Pursehouse. I'm talking about Bruce Pursehouse. Dozens? Jerilderie's a red bloody herring. Dozens? Jerilderie's a red bloody herring. We barely interviewed anyone. He had it all worked out. We barely interviewed anyone. He had it all worked out. He does not wanna find the guy in the white Ford. He does not wanna find the guy in the white Ford. (SPEAKS INAUDIBLY) (SPEAKS INAUDIBLY) (SPEAKS INAUDIBLY) (SPEAKS INAUDIBLY) NARRATOR: Terry Clark was making money hand over fist. NARRATOR: Terry Clark was making money hand over fist. He bought himself a posh Sydney waterfront property for $150,000 He bought himself a posh Sydney waterfront property for $150,000 paid in cash. paid in cash. But it was small beer. But it was small beer. He wanted the world, He wanted the world, which meant taking on more couriers, which meant taking on more couriers, reckless fools like Harry Lewis, known as Pommy. reckless fools like Harry Lewis, known as Pommy. (HARRY SINGS TUNELESSLY) (HARRY SINGS TUNELESSLY) Harry, let's step outside. Harry, let's step outside. WOMAN: Little boy's willy, Bob? A lovely spread, Maria. WOMAN: Little boy's willy, Bob? A lovely spread, Maria. Grouse place, Terry. Grouse place, Terry. And very classy, Tel. And very classy, Tel. What, you buy it for cash? What, you buy it for cash? You ready for tomorrow? Absolutely, mate. You ready for tomorrow? Absolutely, mate. They're alright to go, Tel. They're alright to go, Tel. Yeah. We know what to do. Buy yourself another one next week. Yeah. We know what to do. Buy yourself another one next week. Don't ever do a run when you're drunk Don't ever do a run when you're drunk or stoned or hung-over. or stoned or hung-over. Now, go home and get some sleep. Now, go home and get some sleep. OK. OK. How are things in Singapore? How are things in Singapore? They're good. They're good. Is Liney behaving himself? Is Liney behaving himself? Sure. Sure. Keep an eye on him for me. OK. Keep an eye on him for me. OK. (GLASS SMASHES) (GLASS SMASHES) Can you go look after my shit? Can you go look after my shit? Yeah. Yeah. Surprised to see your pal Greg here. Surprised to see your pal Greg here. He's undercutting us, He's undercutting us, using our bloody network to sell his bloody gear. using our bloody network to sell his bloody gear. Me, I'd set an example. Me, I'd set an example. Prove to me you're not just another Kiwi wanker. Prove to me you're not just another Kiwi wanker. How you doing? Fine. How you doing? Fine. (SCOFFS) What's with you? (SCOFFS) What's with you? Greg. Greg? Greg. Greg? You know what he calls you - a poser. You know what he calls you - a poser. How can you be mates with him? How can you be mates with him? TERRY: It's obvious you're not happy. TERRY: It's obvious you're not happy. GREG: Mate, I'm as happy as a pig in shit. GREG: Mate, I'm as happy as a pig in shit. No, let's be honest. It's not working. No, let's be honest. It's not working. You're better off trying to run your own outfit, Greg. You're better off trying to run your own outfit, Greg. I'd rather a 2IC that was 100% happy, I'd rather a 2IC that was 100% happy, not just 90%. not just 90%. You know? You know? This is what I'm thinking - This is what I'm thinking - pay you what I owe you, plus a few extras, pay you what I owe you, plus a few extras, we'll shake hands, part as friends. we'll shake hands, part as friends. What do you say? What do you say? What extras? How's a brand-new car sound? What extras? How's a brand-new car sound? Plus a bag of your favourite scag as a bonus. Plus a bag of your favourite scag as a bonus. I could live with that. I could live with that. Lennie McPherson? Lennie McPherson? I am he. I am he. Phil Scott. I rang you. Phil Scott. I rang you. A lot of people ring me. A lot of people ring me. About buying a gun. About buying a gun. Now, what do you want a gun for, Scottie? Now, what do you want a gun for, Scottie? There's this bloke... There's this bloke... Don't go around telling everybody, you nitwit. Don't go around telling everybody, you nitwit. Just give me the cash. Just give me the cash. Oi! Oi! Let's hit the park, sweetheart. Happy? Let's hit the park, sweetheart. Happy? Lenny...show me how to use it. Lenny...show me how to use it. Point and shoot, Scottie. Point and shoot. Point and shoot, Scottie. Point and shoot. Terence John Clark, feel the weight of the cold steel in his hand, Terence John Clark, feel the weight of the cold steel in his hand, knowing that it would soon grow hot. knowing that it would soon grow hot. Today, a man must die. Today, a man must die. NARRATOR: Whenever Terry Clark brought merchandise into the country, NARRATOR: Whenever Terry Clark brought merchandise into the country, he did what lots of other businessmen do - he warehoused it. he did what lots of other businessmen do - he warehoused it. Except Terry's warehouse was Ku-ring-gai Chase, Except Terry's warehouse was Ku-ring-gai Chase, an entire national park north of Sydney. an entire national park north of Sydney. See, the problem with the 280Z, it's heavier than the 260 See, the problem with the 280Z, it's heavier than the 260 and much, much heavier than the 240Z. and much, much heavier than the 240Z. That's why I want to get the 240 - better power-to-weight ratio. That's why I want to get the 240 - better power-to-weight ratio. Japanese crap. What? Japanese crap. What? Datsuns. Be a man - get a Jag. Datsuns. Be a man - get a Jag. This is it. Yeah? This is it. Yeah? Dig right here. Dig right here. There? There? How deep is it, mate? How deep is it, mate? Come on, Greg. Yeah, I'm getting there. Come on, Greg. Yeah, I'm getting there. Help yourself to as many as you think you deserve. Help yourself to as many as you think you deserve. You're the best, Tel. You're the best, Tel. I mean that. I mean that. You really are a greedy bastard, aren't you? You really are a greedy bastard, aren't you? (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) You don't like it? You don't like it? No, it's lovely. No, it's lovely. Did I overcook it? Did I overcook it? No. Thanks. No. Thanks. What exactly were you doing today? What exactly were you doing today? I was helping Greg pack up his things. I was helping Greg pack up his things. He's gonna hitchhike to London or some hippie bullshit. He's gonna hitchhike to London or some hippie bullshit. Good riddance. Good riddance. (BANG! ) (BANG! ) Can't we afford wine in bottles? Can't we afford wine in bottles? (SIGHS) (SIGHS) Cold beer? Or is that not allowed? Cold beer? Or is that not allowed? Not allowed and not required, Mr Trimbole. Not allowed and not required, Mr Trimbole. You a collector? You a collector? Oh, me and a mate supply pinball machines all through the Riverina. Oh, me and a mate supply pinball machines all through the Riverina. It's a good lurk. It's a good lurk. Did you organise, facilitate or participate Did you organise, facilitate or participate in the murder of Donald Bruce Mackay? in the murder of Donald Bruce Mackay? On my mother's eyes, I did not. On my mother's eyes, I did not. Well, your alibi for Friday night's a bit too good to be true, isn't it? Well, your alibi for Friday night's a bit too good to be true, isn't it? What do you mean? What do you mean? Well, you even organised for a local copper to be there. Well, you even organised for a local copper to be there. I often entertain businesspeople from the district. I often entertain businesspeople from the district. Right. Right. Malcolm Paris is not a businessman. Malcolm Paris is not a businessman. Well, I like to maintain good relationships Well, I like to maintain good relationships with the local constabulary. with the local constabulary. I'd be mad if I didn't. I'd be mad if I didn't. Do you mind if I imbibe? Do you mind if I imbibe? Sure. Sure. Sandwich wouldn't be breaking the rules, surely. Sandwich wouldn't be breaking the rules, surely. Help yourself. Help yourself. I will learn the truth. I will learn the truth. Know that, Mr Trimbole. Know that, Mr Trimbole. Enjoy your lunch. Enjoy your lunch. When's that? When's that? Um, yeah, that would be fine. Um, yeah, that would be fine. OK. Hey, listen, can I give you a call back? OK. Hey, listen, can I give you a call back? Alright, see ya. Alright, see ya. (SIGHS) (SIGHS) Hey, um... Hey, um... Do you take money, Malcolm? Do you take money, Malcolm? Like, if I got a warrant to access your bank accounts, Like, if I got a warrant to access your bank accounts, what would I find? what would I find? Come on, mate. Come on, mate. It's no accident It's no accident the cannabis industry around here's out of control. the cannabis industry around here's out of control. You've been looking the other way for a long time now. You've been looking the other way for a long time now. It's not just you. I know that. It's not just you. I know that. Even this bloody building's got a smell about it, hasn't it? Even this bloody building's got a smell about it, hasn't it? Dry rot. Dry rot. And garlic. And garlic. Listen, mate, if you tell me the whole story, Listen, mate, if you tell me the whole story, I will move heaven and earth to protect you. I will move heaven and earth to protect you. If you're thinking of turning this into some kind of witch-hunt, If you're thinking of turning this into some kind of witch-hunt, I wouldn't recommend it, Phil. I wouldn't recommend it, Phil. The boys up in Sydney would not be happy. The boys up in Sydney would not be happy. (CHOMPS ON ICE-CREAM CONE) (CHOMPS ON ICE-CREAM CONE) I wanna thank you gentlemen for putting your hands up for this job. I wanna thank you gentlemen for putting your hands up for this job. As you know, we only need six men. As you know, we only need six men. As a show of my appreciation for your efforts, As a show of my appreciation for your efforts, the unlucky ones get a 10-grand sweetener when it's done. the unlucky ones get a 10-grand sweetener when it's done. OK? OK? Spud, champ, you're not required. Spud, champ, you're not required. Stanley, sorry, mate. Stanley, sorry, mate. Chris, same goes for you. Chris, same goes for you. I'll see you round, boys. I'll see you round, boys. Now, listen, if you want that 10 grand, keep your mouth shut. Now, listen, if you want that 10 grand, keep your mouth shut. Oi. Oi. You out of your fuckin' head, Chuck? You out of your fuckin' head, Chuck? I'm the fittest of the bunch. I'm the fittest of the bunch. You said it yourself, Chris. You said it yourself, Chris. You're a psycho. You're a psycho. I can't afford a psycho. I can't afford a psycho. MAN: Hey! MAN 2: Hey, come on. MAN: Hey! MAN 2: Hey, come on. MAN 2: Come on, you can screw him, Ray. MAN 2: Come on, you can screw him, Ray. MAN 1: Come on, Ray. MAN 3: Fucking girls. MAN 1: Come on, Ray. MAN 3: Fucking girls. (MEN HOLLER) (MEN HOLLER) You filthy fuckin' ape! You filthy fuckin' ape! Yeah, get fucked, you prick. Yeah, get fucked, you prick. BOB: (LAUGHS) Shit, Ray, BOB: (LAUGHS) Shit, Ray, you didn't tell me there was gonna be a floor show. you didn't tell me there was gonna be a floor show. Wanna see a floor show? Be at the Victorian Club on Tuesday. Wanna see a floor show? Be at the Victorian Club on Tuesday. (SPEAKS ITALIAN) That's huge. (SPEAKS ITALIAN) That's huge. Plum just waiting to be picked. Plum just waiting to be picked. After every major race meeting, After every major race meeting, the bookies get together for drinks to settle up with the major punters the bookies get together for drinks to settle up with the major punters here in the Victorian Club settling room. here in the Victorian Club settling room. Just before noon, the Armaguard van arrives Just before noon, the Armaguard van arrives with a stack of steel crates full of bookies' cash bags. with a stack of steel crates full of bookies' cash bags. Now, those cash bags are taken upstairs under guard Now, those cash bags are taken upstairs under guard to this security room here. to this security room here. It takes approximately 60 seconds It takes approximately 60 seconds for the guards to get from the lifts to the door of the security room. for the guards to get from the lifts to the door of the security room. Now, that's when we hit. Now, that's when we hit. MAN: Go! (MEN HOLLER) MAN: Go! (MEN HOLLER) Down! On the ground! Everybody, get down! Down! On the ground! Everybody, get down! (WOMAN SCREAMS) (MEN CALL OUT) (WOMAN SCREAMS) (MEN CALL OUT) Shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up! Get on the ground! Shut the fuck up! Get on the ground! (MAN YELLS) (MAN YELLS) Quick! No. The back up plan doesn't work. What do you mean by "doesn't work"? I don't think I'm gonna like this. Now, go. Heavens got me. Oh, Artie, don't do this. No, please. Artie. Oh, god, I don't hope to get shoot, please.Don't because of this. Just don't move. Ok. I promise I'll be good from now on. Grab it. Ok, I'm trying. Ultimas maximums. That was awesome! Yeah, it kinda was awesome, wasn't it? All right, let's get out of here. You've got to take that off right away. - Okay. Yeah. - Now. Now. Hey. Are you hurt? No. No, I'm fine. What happened? Well, it's a long story. I hope you like cross. Pete! Oh, my god. Help me. What happened? Okay, okay, he's losing a lot of blood. - We gotta get him out of here. - No, no, no, no. It's all right. He's chosen me for sacrifice. I'm...on...a new path. How many times do I have to write this, Artie? Okay. All right, Claudia. All right. Okay. You know what... - No. - Yeah. Enough of doing it that way. All right,so... Now, Claudia... Okay... Now, focus. Don't just write it. Believe it. - No... - Yes. I will not disobay Arite. How long you been working on that? Since I lost my father. Artie, I'm sorry. When did he die? Oh, he's alive. I just hope that finishing this Will help us find each other again. Myka. Yeah? So listen, I'm taking the girls out For a little night on the town, You know, which, in this part of South Dakota means Going for ice cream. You wanna come? I'm beat. All right. You want me to bring you something back? You know I don't eat sugar. Right, butter pecan, caramel sauce, Chocolate sprinkles. You all right? I'm good. You know... All right. Well, remember, if you want to talk... Maybe tomorrow. I'll have my people call your people. You do that. Bye. Bye. Warehouse 13 S01E10 Ho. Excellent. Huh? Oh. So you want a piece of me? Agh! Is there anything you don't play with? Um, no. Ah-ah-ah-ah, lift the point. Off the floor. - Oh, sorry. - Put it down. put it down. - Yes. - Gently. Lay it up. What? - Lay it up. - Oh. I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, Artie. It's, uh--that is really cool. oh, thank you. We try. - You--you made this? - In record time too. With the help of-- things. This is a copy of the finest samurai sword ever forged. The Honjo Msamune, Owned by the ruling family in Japan for centuries Before it disappeared. The real one unearthed a few weeks ago At a dig site in Okinawa. the real one. Which does what? Which will arrive in D.C. first thing in the morning In order to be presented as a gift to the president. But it's not going to happen because you two Are going to intercept it at the Japanese embassy. - that wasn't what I meant. - no, I know what you meant. But you've got to pack. and you got to catch a plane. And it really doesn't matter, does it, What the real sword does? Because, remember, "snag it, bag it, and tag it?" Well, get snagging, bagging, and tagging. You're off to swap Masamune for an Artie Nielsen. - Arigato. - Bitte schön - What is that? - Get out. - Okay. - So many questions. It was never boring working with you people. Hmm. Back and forth. Back and forth. One day your government wants me, The next I'm a crackpot. Your own partner said to me, "never again." Even then I knew One day one of you would be back To place an order. Huh? Oh, it better be cash. American credit ain't what it used to be. What's that? Another gadget for me to tinker with? Wait. I did what you asked. Lots of eyes to make the switch here. I guess night's our only option. White house won't be any easier. I'd feel a lot more comfortable doing it Before it gets anywhere near the president. It's ridiculous that we don't know what we're protecting him from, but... Typical Artie. I mean, I understand grabbing the artifact Before it causes trouble. But he couldn't spare two seconds To warn us about what we're walking into? Look, I'm sure if it were really dangerous, Artie would've told us. Let's go. Uh, go--go--go back. Go back. Go back. What--what exactly happened there? You tell us, Artie, okay? Because the Japanese sure as hell don't know. They're testing for everything from dirty bombs to gas leaks. They won't let us in the room. They're holding us in the lobby. They're--they're treating us like suspects. Suspects? Why? did you have the decoy sword with you? No. but they're not even looking for the sword, Artie. They--they're not even sure whether or not it was taken. Okay, that makes no sense to me whatsoever. Either it's gone or it's not gone. You said you saw somebody leaving. Did he have it? I don't know, okay? 'cause I was about two seconds away from passing out. Yeah, wh--wh--what did this guy look like? Uh, not female. Look, Artie, uh, my Japanese sucks. But it sounds to me as if they think the sword Was vaporized or something. What do you mean vaporized? What do you mean? By the bomb? There was no bomb, Artie. Nothing blew up. There was no victims that were brought out Or--or dead bodies. There was nothing. I don't understand. Nothing blew up? That's the weird part. It was--it was like a bomb, only backwards, okay? Instead of blowing out, it--it--it yanked everything in. - Implosion. - Artie. Artie. Did the sword do this? And if it did, can I reconsider this mission? It didn't. And what you have to do is you have to get in that room And tell me exactly what you see. That's a look I don't know. It's called the past rearing its ugly head. So in other words, the sword didn't do whatever happened at the embassy. But you know what did. Oh, God, I hope not. - Artie, where are you going? - No, no, I can't-- First, I have to... - Hey. - Here we go. Round two with Mr. Congeniality. Mr. Ogawa, look, we've answered all your questions, And now we have a few for you. Actually, agent Bering, I have one more. Why does the secret service need to send two different units To inspect the same gift? Two different... I'm quite certain they will have the same question. On the Q.T. is one thing. But you're tramping through my backyard, Literally tripping over my agents, And you don't even give me a heads-up. We have explicit instructions not to contact you any more. Artie Nielsen. Look, it's not like we can't have coffee now and then. We just can't have you on speed dial. Look. I get it. For better or for worse-- and I happen to think worse-- You two are serving a new master. This isn't your screw-up. It was his. It's just that he doesn't really... Play well with others... - Hmm. - So much. So this security officer, Ogawa, Japanese embassy, Is waiting for my explanation of what you were doing And if you had anything to do with whatever the hell that was. Any suggestions what I'm supposed to tell him? All right. Do me one favor. Get on a plane and leave D.C. while I can still let you. Can I at least have that? Be out of here as soon as possible. I don't think this is what Dickinson had in mind. Well, what are we gonna do? We've got to get into that room. A room that's losing evidence as we speak. I know. It's just, I thought coming back to D.C. Would feel like old home week or something. - Home is overrated. - God. - Uncool, Artie. - What are you doing here? - Uncool, Artie. - What is he doing? I had a hunch about something From Pete's description and I just need to see this with my own eyes. You two have a plan to get in there? Yeah. We're gonna crawl under the motion sensors-- Yes. There's an access panel on the roof. We can go in through the-- well, please, ladies first. No. You know what, you--you be the smart one this time. Okay, get this, There's an access panel on the roof. It'll bring us in right above the main wiring For the security system. Now, if we crawl on our bellies, we can avoid the motion sensors. And what do you mean "this time"? All right. I get the idea. If I may, put these on. Really. Or you'll be of no use to me. Let's go. I look like Kermit the frog. Oh, God. Artie, stop doing that! Yeah, I gotta tell you, Myka, those really bring out your eyes. This is a, uh, 14th century Chinese firework Known as an ice flower. Very few-- very few like it left. Now... Do not tell Mrs. Frederic that I did this, all right? All right, we've got about ten minutes, more or less. Let's go. The light pattern triggers a feedback loop In the optic nerve that mesmerizes the viewer. They won't remember a thing. Booga-booga. Whoa, freaky McFreakerson. So it's some sort of reverse chemical reaction? Oh, yeah. Okay, take these off. Just don't look directly through the window. This was made by an implosion grenade. It removes matter from the center of a space And pulls everything-- Obviously everything-- Directly towards it with violent force. This explains why they couldn't find the sword. It could be in there. - Oh, no, no, no, no. No. the sword, long gone. Stolen. This was used by the thief as a cover. - So the guy that I saw-- - The guy you kind of saw? The guy that I saw leaving must've stolen the sword And hidden in this room over here When he set off the bomb. I collected these grenades years ago. Every last one of them. I know I did. So, wait, whoever stole the sword Has other things that belong in the warehouse-- Which would mean that we have competition. I don't know. Artie, just how long is this list of things We don't know? I don't know. About twice as long as the list of things That I don't know about, all right? Well, who else would have these implosion grenades, Artie, I mean, if you collected them all? Well, whoever it is, if he's willing to use this To cover his tracks, then it's somebody that's-- What's a darker word for dangerous? If he did this to steal the sword, He'd have no trouble killing anyone Who got in his way. Oh, none at all. Next time, don't get a suite--just a room. Okay. The lead here is the implosion grenade. We find out who had one of those And then we find out Who has the sword. Okay, let me just-- Is there a listing for implosion grenades? - Those were the days. - Artie, we've got WiFi. - No, no, no, I like paper. Actually, I hate paper. But, you know, it's a security issue. Okay, Artie, enough. You have to fill us in. Okay, if the competition used an implosion grenade to steal the sword, Then what the hell does this sword do? Yeah. I mean, it must be pretty major, right? You don't drop a nuclear bomb to steal a butter knife. Exactly. Okay. You want to know about the sword? I'll tell you about the sword. The Honjo Masamune is much, much more than a dull knife. It kept the ruling Shogunate in power for hundreds of years By making them invincible in battle. And the beauty in the way these things were forged. I mean, ritually hammered and folded. The blade millions of layers of steel With a carbon content that's right off the charts. And each layer only atoms--atoms--thick. I mean this sword... Is said to be perfectly aligned. - So what does it do? - Yeah. Um, ha, uh... Okay, you know how geese fly in a "v" formation And the wind hits the first bird and then splits And then it keeps on splitting wider and wider When it hits each successive bird 'cause it makes it easier for the birds to fly that way. - Good. So--so what... does the sword...do? The blade in this particular sword Is said to be so perfect that light splits in its path And goes around the person holding it. Um, are we--are we talking about, um, invisibility? Mm. Kind of. In effect. No, the person's still there. Although, you know, the light that we see Doesn't hit-- yes, invisibility. Awesome. I knew- - I knew that was possible. I knew it. Okay. Invisible swords now... Hey, Artie, these are-- these are the same sword, right? - Yeah. - They don't match. What? Well, you see, disc thing that's attached to the grip-- Well, it's in the painting, but it's not in the sword From the dig site. It's missing its tsuba. This piece right here is called a "tsuba." It's actually a collectible in its own right, You know, separate from the sword. But this is missing its tsuba. Then the sword might not even work. And if it doesn't, the guy's going to come looking for it. We are in a race. We're in a race. You two have to find what happened to that tsuba and fast. Well, Artie, we're looking for a 500-year-old sword. 800. Exactly. So it should be easy. You guys follow the tsuba. I will follow-- Ah...the implosion grenade. And one of us will find the thief. W--wait. I mean, wh--wh--where are you going? Somebody is making new grenades. Somebody who promised not to. Again he doesn't answer. And no good-bye. This is impossible. Keep at it though. you're the smart one. - What are you doing? - What? - What are you doing? - Nothing. You're--you're doing great. - Hello. - Leena, hey. Hey, is--is Claudia there? Okay, she won't be able to find it either. Claudia's out. It's just me. Oh, um, okay. Uh, well, you'll do. - Flattered. - Sorry. Listen, Leena, you know that 800-year-old sword That we were swapping out? Uh, well, it turns out, a piece of it has come up missing. So if--if--if you were standing next to Artie, right, And he was looking for this thing, Wh--what--what would he be doing? Artie did say that the sword was from the Edo period. So instead of trying to track it forward From the past, just find it in the present. Identify any collectors that deal in that period And then try and find as much information as you can On any sales or transactions of those pieces. - Right. Right. Right. Uh, since-- since you're right there, Do--do you think that, uh, maybe you could, uh... Give me a minute, Pete. One point, Lattimer. Thank you. Hello. Hello! Hello! Oh, you should've kept your promises, Erik. The tsuba, did you find it? - Well-- - Well, it wasn't easy. You know, it--it took some digging. But, uh, it turns out an antiques dealer Had it in Tokyo in the 1920s. Now it's here in Washington. Artie, it's at the secret service. What the hell's it doing there? Well, the Japanese government presented it In the 1920s to Woodrow Wilson as a symbol of peace. Guess that didn't work out so well. And the curator at the Wilson museum of peace Made the connection a couple days ago And offered it to be united with the sword At the gift ceremony. But freaky explosions tend to put the kibosh on ceremonies, So it's going back to the museum in the morning. The sword and the tsuba in D.C. at the same time. No, no, no. That's--that's too much coinc-- Too much coincidence. Well, Artie, we're sitting on the secret service building. But, look, if this thief is--is coming to get the tsuba, We have to warn Dickinson. No, no. absolutely not. Well, Artie, you saw what this guy's willing to do. Yeah, and--and so did you. And imagine what he's capable of with the sword. No, no, no. this thief is ruthless and smart. So if you warn the secret service, And they do anything out of the ordinary-- Anything at all-- then he will be tipped off. So you want to use him as bait. - No, Artie. No. - Hey, hey, hey, hey! This is not a discussion. When I-- - Hello, Artie. - Artie. - Artie. - James. Okay, I think I know who this is. And I've got to go. You tail the agents. Grab the tsuba. Watch out For implosion grenades. Good-bye. Your agents Bering and Lattimer Are compromised. Not possible. I ran a background check on Arthur Nielsen. Where'd you get this information? I have my sources same as you do. I don't see how any of this is your business. The three of them returned to the embassy last night. I'm very sorry to hear that. I have no desire to stir up an international incident. It's a great deal of paperwork and a great deal of scrutiny. And you and I both get screwed. If you can't handle this, I will be forced to take this to a higher authority. Everything all right? Yes. Peachy. What? The tsuba's heading back to the museum. We're heading out. Regards to President Wilson. Hi, it's me, Artie. No, I-I-I know. I know. Look, please, do you think you could meet me? As soon as possible. Artie does to us what he's making us do to them. He keeps us in the dark. For all we know, we're decoys too. Look, we're all pretty good at our jobs, okay? We accepted the risks going in. Having intel in the field keeps an agent alive, Pete. But Artie acts like keeping us alive Isn't a priority. To him, we're just-- red shirts? - Yeah. - Okay. First, he doesn't think we're red shirts. And second, that's so cool you knew what I meant. Come on. He's got a Tesla too. Drop that weapon! Are you okay? Yeah. Grab the tsuba. Ah. You get a look? - We get it? - We got it. Yes. Now give it back. Slowly. No. no, no, no. Did--did you see that--that guy With the--with that--that gun? It--it erases your short-term--no. Psst. What the hell is up with you two? Now who are you working for? Secret service. But a department that you, sir, know nothing about. I doubt that. Now what department? It's a, um, archival department. You're filing clerks Running around shooting stun guns At your own people? Oh, we didn't shoot you. All right, filing clerks that protect us from invisible bad guys. - Yeah. Pretty much. - Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. I'll take it from here. Careful, archives. Paper cuts, they take days to heal. That's hilar-- you're hilarious. Very scared. - So glad to see you. - Thank you. Not a damn word. Now, I warned you to back off before things got worse. Do you have any idea what this looks like? Come on. You know we didn't shoot at them. - You know that we're legit. - Yeah, I do. But if you keep shutting me out, How am I supposed to back you up? We'll just-- This stays with me until things die down. - Or implode. - What? Sir, you're putting yourself in serious danger. You have no idea what you're dealing with. So tell me. We can't. Well, I admire your loyalty. I prized it myself once. But you need to look at where you're placing it right now. This has come to my attention. It checks out. And I will have to act on it. You want me to trust you, okay. If there's even a remnant of a two-way street left-- If you still trust that I'm trying To look out for you--then read it. I want some extra people in the office. Around the clock for the next 72. Just in case. Why? 'cause he stole something dangerous And it's important that I get it back from him. What makes you so sure it was him? Call it a gut feeling. Oh, that's still annoying, you know. What is? You talking in riddles and intuition. You never change. Yeah. So has he? You know, contacted you? I haven't seen or heard from James in 15 years. And, uh, the irony's not lost on me That you're the one who's asking. Carol. Carol. Look at me. No matter what you think, I'm not the one who drove him away. You made things intolerable for all of us. Well, if it--if it makes you comfortable to blame me, Then you should go ahead and blame me. I don't care. But the truth is that you made choices. And the choices you made--you chose badly. I'm not the one who disappeared. Oh, there it is. How did I not know? What? What--not know what? Oh, stop it, Artie. You're in town for whatever reason and you decide to twist the knife For old time's sake. Rub it in that I chose the wrong guy. Right. You're not the one who disappeared. You would've had to have been there in the first place. No, not Artie. Oh, all your--all your secrets, And your--and your treasure hunts, And that damned place. You know, James believed in life. You need to get one. Hold on. Hold on. Carol. Carol. Carol. Could you please--please. Wait. Wait. Wait. - What? - Listen. Listen. Listen. Carol, if you're harboring him in any way, You're in danger. What are you doing here? Just about to ask you the same thing. Why are you bothering that poor woman and torturing yourself? It is called investigating a case. This isn't the case. This is self-pity. The case is the implosion grenade And the sword. And someone out there is running around Using the artifacts-- but that someone--that someone is Macpherson. And I can prove it. Remember? Artie, we've both seen you like this before. No, no, no, no. He planted this on purpose. He wanted me to find it. Otherwise he would've been much too careful. He's taunting me. Would you listen to yourself? You are leaping to wild conclusions Based on nothing. And meanwhile, your team is falling apart around you. Oh, they're not falling apart. Myka and Pete are fine. Are they? Did you know the tsuba's now under Dickinson's control? Did you know Bering and Lattimer had been detained? They're at the hotel. I'm taking you all off this case. - Wait. Wait. Wait. Wh--what if I'm right? What if it is Macpherson? Go home, Artie. - Artie, where are you? - It doesn't matter. New orders. You two stay in the hotel and you wait for me. I will take it from here. What's the matter? What's wrong? You okay? - Yeah. Everything's fine. - All right. I don't want to hear about it 'cause it isn't true. That isn't Artie. I don't want to believe it either, Pete, But it's true. Yeah, well, you shouldn't even be reading that. Pete. We should be out doing something. Pete, his real name isn't even Artie Nielsen. It's Artie Weisfelt. He used to work for the NSA. He was a cryptographer--a code breaker-- When he was in his 20s. They recruited him right out of school. They had him decoding soviet communications. He intercepted letters, phone transcripts. Then they think he turned. He contacted one of the people they were spying on And he started selling secrets to the Russians. And his file, it just ends. He was never prosecuted. It's like he just disappeared. But it's him, Pete. What? It's definitely him. You're under arrest. No, no, no. listen to me. I have to take this. Lives are in danger--no, no, not for that. Dr. Weisfeld, you're under arrest for treason. Just tell us that the charges aren't true. We both know. So just tell us. - I can't. They're true. - Okay, that's--that's not-- I had my reasons. Artie, homeland security's coming To pick you up. You need to give us a way to help you now. You need to concentrate on the mission, Not worry so much about me. Mrs. Frederic fixed this once and she can fix it a-- This whole thing could've been avoided If you just told us anything about the sword, the tsuba, your past. Anything, Artie, we--we--we could have helped. We could have run interference with Dickinson. If you just trusted us. So--so what happens now, Artie? I mean, what--what happens with the warehouse? I mean, what, are we in charge? what? I think we should know. She fixed all this. Mrs. Frederic. She fixed all of this years ago. It's him too. It--it has to be. Okay, Artie, This isn't just about the treason, all right? You also burglarized the secret service. I'll spend a little time in prison. You're not getting what is important here. I'm not getting what's important. And the fact that I changed my name-- Which, by the way, I did so the soviets wouldn't find me, Not to hide from our government. Important. That--Mrs. Frederic fixed all this. She expunged all the charges. Someone obviously unfixed it. - Artie, focus. - Oh, I'm focused. Here's the key. Who gave Dickinson my file? Find out, that'll take you directly to who has the sword. And that will lead you to Macpherson. Who? Time's up. Some friendly advice, it's self-preservation time. Put in for transfers while this whole warehouse business Is still just a sidetrack in your careers. Scars don't have to be permanent. - Yeah. No can do. - Just think about it. Meantime, I have some self-preservation to do too. Now, I may not be your boss anymore, But until someone tells me otherwise, I still outrank you. So this time I am putting you on a plane With your best friends as an escort. - Why is he here? - Ogawa? That guy makes me itch. Well, the Japanese want their tsuba back. With the sword gone, it's all that's left of a national treasure. Don't worry. They're leaving tonight for Japan. By tomorrow, the tsuba will be on the other side of the planet. By the way, just to ask it, who did give you that file on Artie? That's my secret to keep. Cooper, see that they get on their plane. No detours. Yeah, and--and don't rule out shooting them if necessary. What's going on? What? It's Ogawa. it was him at the embassy. He walked out with the sword. - Are you sure? - Myka, I saw him. You have to trust me. Dickinson looked at him when I asked him about the file. Artie was right. Yeah, and now he's got the sword and the tsuba. Heading for the diplomatic terminal. There's no security. How about you both just take a time-out, huh? Just for the drive to Dulles. Let's go. Bored? Yeah. Oh, finally. Hi. Who's Mrs. Frederic? I'd tell you, but then he'd have to kill you. What do you think? 6th to constitution? This time of day I'd take 9th. Yeah, you're right. Want to grab a beer after we drop off these two jokers? Ah, I can't. in-laws are in town. Hey, hey, hang on. I want to pull over And grab a paper. They'll be fine. Before you say anything, I know that I mangled this. I know I ran in there impulsively Without--without thinking--without my bag-- Because I had a bigger--someone dug you up. Oh. So you know. It's Macpherson. I'm right. Yes, I'm afraid you are. Now it's up to you to stop him. Thank you. Don't move! So, Mr. Ogawa, when does he get here? Oh, God. It works. - Hello, Arthur. - James. Good to see you after all these years. Wish I could say the same. Not while you're pointing a gun at me or trying to. Well, no, you're an invisible guy with a sword. I think you might have the advantage over me. My point exactly. So what happened to you, James? What happened? I mean, I know we had our differences And I know Carol... happened. You always had your own ideas, Your own objections to warehouse policy. But, I mean, James, James--killing people. When did you turn into that? I woke up, Arthur. Ah. Once I was out from under Mrs. Frederic's iron hand And your neuroses, I could see the world more clearly. Yeah, well, you know, that's a little pathetic, Isn't it, James, blaming everybody else but yourself? I don't think you found clarity. I don't think your ego could stand the light. I'd love to discuss this with you at length. You or one of your new agents. Lattimer and Bering, right? I've been observing them for some time. I see they have potential, but they're so raw, So untrained, so corruptible. If you come anywhere near them, I promise you-- I promise you, James, that you're going to regret it. You'll never get anywhere close to them as long as I'm alive! Arthur, you can still read my mind. - Ah! Ah. Ah. Ah. You always hurt the one you love. Artie? No! No! No! - Artie. - Yeah. Oh, my God. okay, we have to get you to a hospital. Wh--what did you do to yourself? Well, it was the only way I knew how to get the sword. What if we didn't get here in time? Yeah, I thought you would. So just--right now, could you just hurry up, Pull it out? Wait. Wait. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Wait a minute. Now wait a minute. Are you sure? Yeah, it's the sharpest sword ever made. It should slide out just like butter. Just--just do it really, really, really, really fast. Okay! Not like butter! You all right? - Is that one of those... - Yeah. I wasn't here when everything went down Between Artie and MacPherson, but I know it was bad. Here. Yeah, this feels right. Yeah. It must've been bad. I mean, all that stuff with Ogawa. Giving Dickinson the file. He wanted more than the sword. He wanted to mess us up as a team. It worked. Well, I don't know how to work with him right now. The thing about Artie is that he's lost A lot of people in his life--including agents. So now he just shuts everybody out. It's a defense mechanism. That's not an excuse. It's not a reason to keep secrets as compulsively as he does. It's not meant to be an excuse. Just an explanation. Artie acts like he doesn't care, But he does--about you both--a lot. And that scares him. Well, I guess he needs to work that out, doesn't he? You know, just because he lost people, It doesn't make us expendable. I'm not a red shirt. I'm not. She's upset because I don't communicate. Did she not notice the word "secret" in her job description? Their job is to follow instructions. So is yours. You knew that I couldn't let this go. as it turns out, I was right. I apologize for doubting you. Oh. Well, thank--thank-- we're--we're all human. As far as I know. You know that this was only Macpherson's first move. And he's planning something... bigger. Any guesses what his plan might be? No. I don't know. I don't want to wait to find out. You know what the Talmud says? "If someone's coming to kill you, get up early, kill them first." It also says "don't rush into any unnecessary danger. A miracle may not save you." Previously on Warehouse 13... So you know it's MacPherson. - I'm right. - Yes, I'm afraid you are. And he now has a sword which renders him invisible. Now it's up to you to stop him. You always hurt the one you love. Okay, just stop. Okay, stop and think this through. Guess what. I'm still taking the artifact. I can't let you do that, Pete. Turn around. MacPherson is alive and he's loose somewhere in the world. - Stopping MacPherson is not your job! - My what? Protecting the world happens to be my job! And right now that is being threatened by an insane ex-Warehouse agent who is competing for artifacts that belong right out there. Mrs. Frederic said that she will handle it. I can do it. He ran a sword through your chest. - I'm all right. - You could have died. Please just let Mrs. Frederic handle it, okay? This? This is your job, Artie. And you're not doing it. You have Pete, Myka, and Claudia spread out through the Warehouse taking inventory for you day after day. - Meanwhile, all... - Meanwhile, these things are piling up. Yes, they are. I'm pretty hard to kill. Really? Really? You want some of this? Nice one. Did not see that coming. - Playing with yourself again? - One game. A quickie. We got time. Besides, none of this stuff's going anywhere. Right, buddy? Okay, this stuff is dangerous, all right? - Right. - This is Lewis Carroll's mirror. Alice in Wonderland. "Off with their heads". - That's chick lit, right? - Chick lit? I mean, come on. Not everything in here is dangerous. You got that cuddly little ferret from a cooking pot. - Yeah, he peed in my shoes. - That was... That was me. - That's funny. - So what, are you still mad at Artie? No, I'm not. - I'm not mad at Artie. I'm mad at you. - No, you're not mad at me. - Yes, I am. - You're not mad at me. Because when you're mad at me, your neck gets all long until it looks like that. It's like a giraffe over here. And when you're mad at Artie, your neck gets down over here to the right. Just like that. Look, I know the MacPherson-DC thing is still bugging you, okay? But everybody has a past. But he lied, Pete. Artie's past is treasonous, hazardous, there's a crazy man who wants us dead and he wants the Warehouse for himself. Would have been nice knowing that going in. Artie should have told us about MacPherson. Yes, yes, I get it. Daddy issues. Can't deal with the old man. You're useless. My God! The mirror! I got it. Watch out. - Look, the giant thing... - Pete! Sick. That sounds like... The Studio 54 disco ball. God, I hate disco. Myka, you okay? - What's going on? - Myka, you okay? What's going on? Ask him. You can't... This is... Projet-SG (1.00) I know you're feeling lost. What? Artie's past, MacPherson... It can be a bit disorienting. I know. I feel pretty clear actually. Things are the way they are. Don't fight it. Just go with it. Whenever I don't, I always end up right back in the same place. Not a good one. Thank you for the tea. You're welcome. I'm gonna do it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. They're excellent, yes. I don't know what... So today's... Where is... Pete, in the room, please! You do something with your hair? Would you help me with this bag? Just open it up, take everything... - Dude, dude, take your meds. - I want a turn, bro. Pete, sit. - You saved at least? Thank you. - I saved. Focus, focus! - Wait, what are you doing? - Focusing. You don't... We're gonna... We... You... All right, nevermind, fine. Just... Try! try! Pay attention. Gary and Jillian Whitman. Take one each. Aka more aliases than they would care to mention. They are small-time thieves who have inexplicably hit the big-time. - I smell artifact. - I smell a loser. Come on. Let's let Artie get through this so we can just not be here any longer than necessary, all right? - Thank you very much. Much appreciated. - You're welcome. - So what is this... this artifact? - It's unconfirmed. But if there's one, it's given these two an unbelievable amount of luck. That defies all the laws of probability. They've had winning streaks in Miami, Detroit and Atlantic City... Not one single gaming commission alarm bell has been tripped. Well, how? Well, they go into a gaming room as high rollers. Anybody? Okay, fine. And they're really good. And they win just enough money to stay under the radar, right? And then they get... Fine. They move on and don't get caught. So they're taking a little back from the house. OMG, what's the BFD? What? Iniquitous hands with the means to exploit fate. - "Iniquitous" means "bad." - Thanks, Roget. So where are they now? 3 hours ago, they checked into room 1510 at the Maximus hotel in Las Vegas. So I've also prepared a rundown... This is yours... of possible artifacts still in the wild that might be responsible. There's plane tickets and reservations for the Maximus and all that stuff. Vegas, baby. Kicking it. Where's the money? Well, we need to roll high. Yeah, there's $10,000 in Pete's envelope. Snap! - Doubt it. Are you sure this... - Get out. Pack. Boys. Do me a favor. Yes, my liege. I shall bring you receipts. Yeah, that too, but also, one more thing. Is she mad at me? Maybe. A little. But look, a trip to Vegas will unbunch the pants. It should be fun. Please don't have fun. - Yeah, or crap out. - That's so funny. Later. - So what am I doing? - What do you mean what are you doing? Well, Leena told me Mrs. "F" was keeping you off the MacPherson trail, so it doesn't mean I can't look for him. I'll say this once. Listen. Back off! The man will kill you. Kill you. Understood? Yes, sir. Hello. - How are you? - All right. Your tie is crooked. You just knocked everything crooked. - How are my teeth? - Your teeth are fine. Perfume? That's a first. So I've been going over the possibles. And I've been sniffing ten grand. Nothing in Artie's hit list suggests a multi-part object, which means we're looking for one thing and it should be in their possession. Why? It's Carson's rule of linear transfer. It means they have to have it on them. Forced outcomes require tangency. Someone's been paying attention. Some of us longer than others. Let's assume that it's a single artifact shared by two suspects. We each take one and we compare notes. I'll take lady luck. You take her date. And I got these. - I... - What is it? I cleaned 'em with alcohol, all right? So... And a little bit of spit. Kidding. Testing. Sorry. You have the Tesla, right? I'll trade you for the Farnsworth. - But you have the gun. - I know, but it's the boring one. - Well, you lost the toss. - I know. Let's just go find this artifact and see if we can't change somebody's luck. That thing is so freaky. - What, this? - No, the thing behind you. Yeah, that. Well, trapped desires... Refracted by light, sound, sex... Mind-altering drugs into a... - Disco ball. - Disco ball. - A disco ball. - I know. - Dude, how? - Well, unknown. Unknown, but, mirrors are usually just gonna reflect light, but this thing projects yearnings and cravings. You know what this thing does? It imparts a grim stampeding inhumanity against anything decent. You asked. Don't worry. No, not in here. In here it's just a round, shiny object. - But out there... - It's the'80s. The'70s. By the way, I'm sorry I came down on you a little hard at Leena's. It's whatever. It's just 'cause I owe you, for helping me and saving Joshua. I mean, the guy hurt you. It pisses me off. If finding MacPherson... Yeah. Just help me lift this thing, would you, on three. Well, can Mrs. Frederic find him? I don't know. On three. One, two, three. The guy used to work here though, right? And, what, the place drove him nuts? Something lured him to the dark side? He is the dark side and things are lured to him, people especially, which is why you're never gonna mention his name ever again. - Just to you. - To anyone, promise me. Is that Myka? Whatever it is... It's not good. Red five. - You're pushing our luck. - And it's pushing right back. - Take a break. - I'm okay. We've got enough. Nobody's legs are getting broken. Everybody's paid off. College for five kids won't be cheap. We're having three. It won't matter if you're not around for the honeymoon. I'll be around. It's gonna be the best years of our lives. - Just five more spins. - Three. Okay, we've found them. - You see anything? - Besides two scoundrels in love? No, but they might have something off-site. I'm gonna go toss their room. Call me if you see them chewing on a rabbit's foot or adjusting a magic girdle. Red 23. - Careful! - Stop yelling! - Start listening! - I'm so running over your toes. - Just get it straight. Not like that! - Okay! - Can you close the door? - Got it. You know what? Pull all the Dodgson files, would you? And anything that's got a listed cross-reference, like Alice Liddell, Lewis Carroll. - What are you still standing here for? - I'm not your girl Friday. What kept you? Three pumpkin pies and a broken oven thermostat you keep promising to fix. What's this? - This is why I called you. - What happened? - Optical divagation, I think. - What? Kind of like a retinal flare after a photo flash. My best guess is the blast from the disco ball, kind of frizzed this mirror's primary reflective capacity and then it probably clipped part of Myka's psyche and fused it in there. I don't... You know, it's kind of like shadows on a wall after Hiroshima. - It's a pretty lively shadow. - Yes, but is it? - Is it what? - Alive. Help me! - You wanna? - Sure. What's that about? I'm gonna pull her back if she falls in. - Oh, hell. - Get your mind out of the... - Okay. - Thanks. - So? - Nothing. - So what is it? Just a shadow play? - Well, the glass is like a barrier. If that's alive, I can't tell. - Let's just ask her. - "It." "It" might have something to tell us. I mean, why can't we just talk to her? Because we do not converse with reflective entities, okay? - Because? - Because two words. Bloody Mary. That's just an urban legend though, right? - Of course it isn't. - Shadows have power you let this thing speak and there is no telling what could happen. Pete was playing ping-pong with one of those things. Weren't you supposed to go pull files or something? Thank you. - And pull anything from Studio 54. - Got it. - 54. - Heard you. - Can I make a suggestion? - Sure. - I haven't lost a penny, Mom. - Myka with you? No, she's downstairs on the Whitmans. I'm getting ready to search their room. What's up? How's your radar? You mean am I having a vibe or something? Give it a second. Anything out of the ordinary? - Anything at all. - With Myka? With anything. You know, now that you mention it, there is something. - What? - The buffet is overpriced. - Other than that? - Nope. No vibe. No trouble. - It's all good. - All right. Are you sure? - Is there something I should know? - No, no. Everything's good. It's just a status check. Don't dawdle, stay in touch. Kirk out. He's fine. So is Myka. Okay? Put it down on red 15. - I got nothing. - Nothing's going on down here either. They're still winning and I'll be damned if I know how. I know. I am. I just think that's... - What if you put those two together... - I don't think that's gonna work. - What about what we tried in... - What is that? It's just something I whipped up. - What do you mean? Just now? - That's right. Wait, wait. - What are you doing? - I'm opening a line of communications. CIA uses laser mics to read vibrations off windows to hear what's going on on the other side of the window. I wanna hear what she has to say. Bloody Mary, shadows have power, I get it. But what if that's not just a shadow? That look on her face is somebody who's trapped. Believe me, I know that look and so do you. If things get hinky, you can pull the plug. What do you got to lose? I do need to do this. Wait, wait! Let me think! Where are you? So Mr. Whitman doesn't look good. - No sign of any artifact. - Not even a glimmer. - What's up with his hand? - I don't know. If you want to get rest, I'll stay with them. - Not if they split up. - I'll call you. No, no. Let's... Let's stay together. If they've got something, it's on 'em. I want to know what it is. I've been burned by this before. They look real and they'll say anything. Say something. Artie, when I get out of here, I'm hugging her and I'm kicking your ass. Yeah, well, that won't be happening. Why? - Artie, it's me. - No, no. You're just a reflection. The real Myka's in Las Vegas on a mission with Pete. What? No, no, I'm not! Artie! See? That's exactly what I mean. You just don't do it. Turn that thing off. Artie, if I'm in Vegas with Pete, then how can I be here? Just no! Just don't turn it off! Whatever that thing is, it's never getting out of here. Lewis Carroll's Alice. You're so sweet, so innocent, so not true. This woman was as mad as a hatter. And Charles Dodgson, aka Lewis Carroll, was not writing books. He was chronicling this young woman's descent into a sociopathic madness in all of his books. He didn't write these books. These are Warehouse fabrications... Brilliant fabrications... To hide the truth about that mirror. Here's a report from Warehouse field agents. The mirror crossed paths with Alice Liddell. I bet it crossed paths. When? - Before the murders. - Terrifying. Yeah, and there's no mention of where the mirror came from. Okay, well, where do any of these things come from? Artie, these agents, they trapped her inside of the mirror. Somehow her energy, her essence... Even they weren't sure how it happened. Wouldn't it have been nice, Leena, if these Warehouse field agents had bothered to figure it out before she killed one of them? Lot of loose ends here, okay? So I'm not... That is why, Claudia, taking inventory is so important! So what are we saying? What are we saying? Are we saying that just Myka's image got melded with the crazy essence of Alice? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. Looks like Myka. Isn't Myka. And if we give voice to that thing, it'll trick us somehow to try to get out and that is not gonna happen. We've done enough. We promised each other we'd stop at $5 million. I'm a lying, convicted thief, Gary. I'm breaking the promise. No, we're so close. We're just a few thousand away. It won't make any difference. You need to see a doctor. We don't have any insurance. Please. We'll be paying out of pocket. I won't go unless we offset what that'll cost with an hour's worth of betting. - Listen to yourself. - You listen. My hand can rot off. I'm not going to any doctor. We should take it now. Take what? Whatever it is they've got. You know, force them to hand it over. - We're not even sure if... - One more round of betting and - I'm cashing us out. - You're the boss. I was just trying to keep her distracted. We're clear. I want him. - Sorry? - You follow the girl. I'll stay here and I'll call you if he comes out. - Are you sure? - I can handle him if there's trouble. All right. - I'll call you if I catch anything. - Do that. Artie, I know you're not as sure about this as you're pretending. I'm not pretending. You know when you hold a mirror up to a second mirror and you get that sort of reflected infinity thing? What happens if that mirror is reflected and it's something like the Studio 54 disco ball? Is it possible to get some kind of artifact interaction? Something completely unexpected? I don't know. What if the disco ball goes off and someone is standing in front of the Alice's mirror? I think we know what happens. Do we really? - Could reflections switch places? - Could people? She pulls to the right. Pardon? I noticed it a couple months ago. When Myka's mad at me, she pulls to the right. She's mad at you now. Has been for about a week. - So is she... - Pulling... To the right? Red 23! Excuse me, Miss. Hi. - You dropped this. - Keep it. Maybe you'll get lucky. That's what I'm hoping. Red 21! Holy bananas. You're really mad at me. - I feel sorry for you, actually. - Why is that? Because of all the things right in front of your face that you refuse to see. Like what? Like me. Oh, well. I need to ask you a question that only the real Myka would know the answer to. You know what? You're wasting time, 'cause Pete's in danger. Yeah, well, so are you, right? In danger if you're who you say you are? Okay, fine. Here's what you and I both know but we never talk about it. All right? That I don't trust you. That I need you to tell me the truth. And to not treat me like some chess piece that you move around on a board that only you can see. That I am valuable. That I matter. And that I deserve to know everything I can about this world that you send me into every day so at least I have a fighting chance. You know, in spite of everything... In spite of everything, I like you. I think you're great. And I want you to think the same of me. I screwed up. Honey, my key's not working. Where's him? Him's not here. - What room you looking for? - My room. Who are you? You're cute. And you're faking it. You never con a con artist. You had your chance to walk away. You won't get another. - Pete with you? - No, listen. I'm a bit busy. - Can I call you back? - Yeah, no, sure. Everything okay? It will be as soon as I can get back to work. I got some bad news. Leena tells me that your ferret escaped and she's tried to call for it. She doesn't know its name. I don't even know if you finally did name that thing, did you? No, actually, I never did. Put some food out and it'll come back. I gotta go. Now... Where were we? Myka did name the ferret. She's just not telling Pete the name. - Why not? - Because she named it Pete. Yeah, it's cute, but so annoying. - That's good. I like that. - You think that's funny, huh? Because if she thinks we know, she'll kill him. Name's Pete. Look, you're in trouble and I'm here to help. That chip that you have, the one that's changed your luck... - Let go or I'll scream. - Jillian, it's hurting you. Okay, that is a contact wound. Wishing objects do that. This one seems to be a bit addictive and we both know that that's bad, right? So you keep the money, but you give me the chip. Gary's sick too, isn't he? You gotta stop while you're ahead, Jillian. Trust me. Don't make me use this. The Jubilee Grand, right? The fire? What are you gonna do with it? I am gonna put this on a shelf and ignore it forever. I know. Now watch. Watch what? That chip allows you to see the future. Yeah, I can see the attraction. You have to tell me what's going on, Artie. Well, he may have figured it out already. Seriously? I mean, it's Pete we're talking about. I can't get ahold of him. His cell keeps going to voice mail. - Alice has obviously the Farnsworth. - Dude... He's in a big hotel. There was this man at the bar one night bragging about how he miraculously survived the inferno. He said that this chip saved his life. - And you stole it? - It's what we do. Pete Lattimer, white courtesy telephone. Jillian, take the money and run, don't walk. Find a beach. Never look back. I am gonna go get your husband. Wait, hold on. You're not arresting us? You're letting us go? What happens in Vegas, okay? Just get outta here. It looks like you were telling the truth. Don't hurt Jillian. Do you know what? Hurting is half the fun. You wanna know what's more fun? The other half. Who are you? You've had your wishes. Now, it's my turn. And now I'll know when they're coming for me. And if I can see them, I can kill them. I bet you didn't see that coming. Are you okay? I'm fine. I had to use the Tesla. He's dead. You killed him. - Pete, what's going on? - Change of plans. What do you think, I'm an idiot? Don't answer that. Look, just stop, okay? Just put down the gun and let's think this through. - I'm still taking the artifact. - I can't let you do that. Die trying to stop me, Alice. Oh, clever boy. What tipped you? The real Myka... would never kiss me. Never! Not if her life depended on it. - Which is... - A shame. You're a good kisser. - So Artie hasn't figured this out yet. - Well, not yet. But when he does, he'll set the real Myka free, and you will... poof... disappear. It doesn't work that way, Pete. Meaning what? Meaning nothing comes out of the mirror unless something goes back in. Really? And I am done... with that. I beg to freaking differ. Freak. I suppose I should have destroyed that mirror when I had the chance. Turn around. This is on you. You're the one who set me free. Well, I'm fixing that right now. Turn around. Oh, my... I am never going back into that mirror. Do you hear me? Never. And this. This is my ace. That's it. Cash me out. Curiouser and curiouser. Artie, now! Pete, help me. Artie, where is Myka? - Thank you. - Yeah, you're welcome. All right. Here, let's get this. - So what now? - Now... Now we move Alice to the dark vault. - What's the dark vault? - It's better than the "oy gevalt." The dark vault. You've never seen the dark vault. I'm gonna hazard a guess here you're never gonna want to see the dark vault after we move that to there. Okay, you get the... No, you know what? Let's do this tomorrow. You know, we better secure it. You know, let's move that trunk. When I say "let's," I mean you. Little known but apropos fact, by the way, Steven Rubell, who was one of the co-founders of Studio 54, he considered calling his club Wonderland. Oh, my God! - Other side. Other side. - Hey, lady! Yeah, okay, let's go. - My ten grand? - Right, about that. Well, Artie, you know, last-minute Apache helicopter rides to the middle of nowhere, - South Dakota, don't come cheap. - I know a guy with a Chinook. Would have cost you about half if you would have called me! Well, I had to beat Alice here, didn't I? Did it work? - Look who's here. - Oh, my God! Yeah, making breakfast. Come on. So, Myka, you said I was a good kisser. NARRATOR: Previously on Fringe: - There is more than one of everything. OLIVIA: Who the hell is this guy? BROYLES: We've recorded him at over three dozen scenes all of which relate to the Pattern. - Why? What is he doing? BROYLES: Watching. Observing. - We refer to him as the Observer. WALTER: We were dead, Peter. Until someone grabbed me. We were saved, both of us, by a man that I had never met. - You talked to him? WALTER: He wouldn't be any use. He just observes. I have said too much. I am not supposed to get involved. MAN: Nice specs. I've never seen anything like them before. They're from somewhere far away. I don't have any money. Oh, that's okay. I'm gonna give you one of these anyway. There. Oh, that's great. Thank you. (LAUGHING) - Come with me, please. - Excuse me? What are you doing? Get off me! What are you doing? Help me. Help me. - Hey! - Let go. Help me! - Let her go! - Somebody help me, please. Somebody. Help! (SCREAMING) GIRL: Please. Help me. Please. Help me. Help. Somebody. Stop! Stop! (ENGINE STARTS) Fringe s2e08 August Morning. (CHUCKLES) Good morning, Funny Face. You ready for our day? Yep. This is the map Mom left for us. There's four roller coasters. Oh, no, no, no. We agreed, no roller coasters. Go on any ride you like, but no roller coasters. Because I am scared of the roller coasters. Ha, ha. Oh, you think that's funny? You think that that is funny? Okay. No roller coasters. (PHONE RINGS) Dunham. Where? Uh, no, I'll tell Walter and Peter. So we're gonna have to take a rain check. That's okay, Aunt Liv. I know you have an important job. Well, I'm gonna call the Jacobson's and see if they can baby-sit. And then I'll... - Make pancakes? - Yes, ha, ha. Then I'll make you pancakes. - You're sure it was him? - Uh, we don't have security footage yet but an eyewitness said that he was wearing a gray suit and a hat. Quote: "One of those old ones, from the '60s." - We don't have information on the girl? - No. The police showed her picture around the museum. No one knew who she was. - Is Walter awake? - Oh, yeah. He's in... (BLENDER BUZZING) ...The kitchen. - But talking to him's not gonna be easy. - Why? Walter, we have company. Oh, hello, Agent Dunham. Walter, hey. I need you to tell me what you know about the man we call the Observer. You once referred to him as your friend. Seems he may have kidnapped a woman. They called it the Strawberry Supreme. PETER: His favorite ice-cream store shut down. He made me wait in line with him for four hours to get one last milkshake. They have a secret ingredient. It's mundane, but it's... Oh, it's sublime. And I'm trying to stimulate my olfactory and gustatory senses to try to re-create it. Walter. Can you come with me? OLIVIA: We've recorded him at over three dozen Fringe events. - Do you remember him? WALTER: Of course. But there's nothing more than I've told you before. Peter and I were in a car crash. In a frozen lake. When I was a boy. We were drowning, and he dove in and saved us. But you say he's kidnapped a woman? We think he may have. Why? What are you thinking, Walter? Hey, guys. The footage from the abduction has been downloaded. Also, the police found a book on a bench by the museum... - ...with some kind of weird writing in it. - They think it was his? Well, they don't know, but Agent Broyles is sending it over. OLIVIA: Have we ID'd the victim? ASTRID: No, not yet. OLIVIA: Wait a minute, Astrid. Can you zoom it? Now freeze it. Peter, that isn't him. That's a different guy. There's more than one Observer. Stop. Hold on. What just happened right there? Was he hit? Who are these people? - Please don't hurt me. - Please don't hurt me. - Why are you doing this? - Why are you doing this? - Please let me go. - Please let me go. - I promise I won't tell anyone. - I promise I won't tell anyone. - You don't have to do this to me. - You don't have to do this. - Please. - Please. It will be safer if you stay quiet. BROYLES: Her name's Christine Hollis. Twenty-seven years old, in the master's program for fine arts at BU. Far as we can tell, she's no one special. Parents deceased, no siblings, no arrests. Twenty-seven hundred dollars in her bank account. - Nothing unusual at all. - Do we have a home address? We're working on it now. Assuming she's still alive. We have no reason yet to think otherwise. Well, that's just it, isn't it? We don't know what to think. I'm lost. Twenty-four years ago, one of them saved Walter and Peter. Walter doesn't know why. Can't remember. But beyond that, everything we know about these guys the little that there is, suggests that they just watch. They don't get involved. But now... Figure out why he took this girl. What makes her the exception? Do that, and I think you'll find him. PETER: Hey, I think we may have a lead on the Observer. Walter, look at this. In his book. I think that might be blood. What did you wanna tell me before? Doesn't matter now. - It just happened. - Leave me alone. You're not mad at me because of that. Just like I'm not mad at you about Vanessa. Stop telling me what I feel. We're just doing what we always do. Finding excuses. Well, I won't do it anymore. - You told Serena you love me. - Serena heard wrong. Last year, you told Nate. This year, you told Serena. You tell everyone but me. Why can't you tell me? Is Gossip Girl right about you being a coward? That's not true and you know it. Gossip Girl can be right about you all she wants. But I won't let her be right about me. I will not be weak anymore. You can't run. You have to stay here and hear it this time. Chuck Bass, I love you. I love you so much, it consumes me. I love you. And I know you love me too. Tell me you love me. That everything we've done, all the gossip and the lies, and the hurt will have been for something. Tell me it was for something. Maybe it was. But it's not anymore. Oh, my gosh. Do you remember The Casbah? That concert? - Barely. In the best way. - Oh, my God. You covered "How Will I Know?" And you dedicated it to me and I sat there trying not to laugh. I was so in love with you. What are we doing? Things were easier when we were younger. Unlike our kids, we just jumped into things. I mean, why can't we just be more like that? Just figure it out as we go along. Maybe this didn't turn out to be the romance we thought it would be. It was more like choose your own adventure. Maybe it just wasn't the right time. Maybe it never will be. What if it is? What if we're just too stubborn to see it. - I don't wanna miss out. - Well, neither do I. I don't have a ring so this will have to do. - Rufus, what are you doing? Marry me, Lily. Marry me. I know that'll make me your fifth husband. So... Yes. Give me your hand. Come here. Hey, don't worry about this, okay? Everyone's gonna get over it eventually. When? I mean, high school is over. If I don't fix this tonight some of these people will never talk to me. And what happens next year? What, she does this next Serena and Nate and Dan and Blair. Well, what else can you do? It is too easy for her to sit behind a computer and not face the damage she's done. - Wait. That's not true, is it? - No. But she doesn't know that. You didn't get to use your gossip. Well, here's something new. I told Chuck I loved him, again. And he didn't say it back, again. - Blair, I'm not gonna tell people that. - I'm giving you what you need to be queen. - Don't wanna be queen. I just wanted a chance to have a life in school. - Look what it almost made me do. - That's the thing. You need to be cool to be queen. Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart. She got her head chopped off. So her daughter Elizabeth made a vow never to marry a man. She married her country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize, Jenny Humphrey. You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you. For what it's worth you're my queen. I choose you. Thank you. [PHONE BEEPING] NATE: It's already been over an hour. Bar's closing soon. She's gonna come, I know she is. Whoa, wait. Dan is Gossip Girl? Gossip Girl? You crazy? - Dan, what are you doing here? - I Loopt you. Are you waiting for Gossip Girl? Yeah, and I know you don't approve. I'm gonna go close the tab. This grudge-match thing, it doesn't seem like you. What's going on? - I don't wanna be irrelevant. - Irrelevant? You're Serena van der Woodsen. Gossip Girl might be right about me, but she's wrong about you. Without Serena, who would I have dreamt about? I might have spent my whole life on the outside if you hadn't let me in. Which I'm holding against you. [LAUGHS] - Thank you. - Thank you. Oh, my God. Oh, that makes sense. - Wait, they're a team. - A team of what? - Wait, why are you all here? - I got a text saying to meet you. - Yeah, so did I. - So did I. [PHONES BEEPING] GOSSIP GIRL: You wanted to meet Gossip Girl? Well, look around. You just did. I'm nothing without you. And while most high-school friendships fade it's my hope that what happened today will bond you forever. Now that all my secrets are out, you have a clean slate until college. Congratulations. I'm coming with you. GIRL: Oh, my God. - Drinks on me. - Yes. Thank you. - Wonderful. NATE: Thank you. Thank you. I'm sorry about what I said. You don't have to apologize. Where's Chuck? It's over. Once and for all. But I'm gonna be strong. Still, it doesn't feel right without him here. You know, everyone's here. Yeah. Everyone's here. - Oh, it's beautiful. - It looks so good on you. I've dreamed about this for so long. - Do you wanna fire it up? - I can't. Blair and I have a meeting at Rouge Tomate. That's cryptic. Both. So how are you today? Miserable. But at least college will be the fresh start it's supposed to be. No Chuck, no Nate. - No anybody, really. - Except Gossip Girl. - Forget I said that. - It's okay. I read them too. "Spotted: Chuck Bass in France. Chuck Bass in Germany. Chuck Bass in Italy." I hope he has so much fun that they have to quarantine him. - Open your present. - What? - It's to remind you of who you are. - I love it. I'm gonna put it up on my wall at Brown as soon as I get back from Europe. Come with me. I chased a guy for years who wasn't that into me. And I'm going to a glorified state school. My mother married an entertainment lawyer. So I need to just stop moving and contemplate the failure of my life. When you're ready to start moving, you know I'll be here. Yes, of course I do. Humphrey. Where's your mind? You know, I know it sounds crazy, but I actually kind of miss high school. I miss Blair Waldorf and her daily ego demolitions Nelly Yuki stealing my lunch. Even Chuck Bass, who'd get so close to talk. Wow, you miss Chuck Bass. Well, not as much as you probably miss Chuck Bass. But, yeah, I think it's safe to say that the nostalgia has officially begun. Apparently, the Upper East Side feels the same about you. What's up, Dan? Vanessa. Shouldn't you be giving the deputy mayor her coffee? Well, I think she'd rather I gave her something else. - Yeah, she made a pass at me. - God. Is she hot? - Actually, yeah, she is. - You're both disgusting. You know, I don't wanna be the guy Gossip Girl made me out to be. So, what are you gonna do? Go backpacking. - If you'll have me. - Well, it's too late. - I'm- - I'm taking someone else. - Oh, really? Who? - That's me. - Him. Yeah, we're gonna have a great time, Melissa and I. Oh, really? Daniela. - Close. - It's Vanessa. But thanks for trying. Please let me go with you. I'm always doing what everyone else wants. I wanna do something for me. We'll go as friends. It won't be romantic. Unless we drink a little too much in Vienna one night. How could you say no to that? Seriously. As long as you take off that ridiculous tie so I can maybe picture you with a backpack. - What's wrong with my tie? - I need a coffee. He's always wearing a tie. So I'm the one who does the good deed, and that guy goes off with the girl? Yeah, it's good to be that guy. Do you go to NYU? - I'm starting in the fall. - I just transferred from BU. Scott. I'm Dan. Nice to meet you, Scott. Maybe I'll see you around. We got this for you. - I'll take that, thank you. - What are you doing here? What I should have done months ago. In five seconds, your phones are going to go off with the latest Gossip Girl blast. [PHONE BEEPING] She is nothing if not punctual. Allow me. Remember all those secrets Jenny amassed when she was trying to protect you, Nelly? Well, now the world knows them too. Looks like we have a winner. Now if you don't mind... PENELOPE: How can you do this? Letting some girl from Brooklyn carry on our legacy? Ever heard of a foreign queen? Besides, her dad is marrying Lily Bass so I think that makes her richer than all of you. Not enough. JENNY: Okay, so starting next year, no more headbands, except for this one. - Thanks, you can keep the change. - Oh, big spender. Hey, Mom. It's really cool here. I've already met some great people. Yeah. All right, all right, you were right about Portland. I think I'm gonna love it. All right. Listen, I gotta go, all right? I'll call you soon. NATE: I'm done for the day, if you guys wanna see a movie. Let's do it. [PHONE RINGING] Hold on. Hold on. Hello? GEORGINA: Check your bank account. Your money's back. [WHISPERS] It's Georgina. [IN NORMAL VOICE] Georgina, where are you? What happened to Poppy? You don't have to worry about her ever again. You got your money, that's all that matters. - Now you can go to Yale. - Well, I'm going to NYU now. Oh, great. Then I'll see you next year. Wait, what does that mean? [PHONE HANGS UP] Wait- - Hello? Georgina? What? - Georgina Sparks? - Yes, that's right. I recently enrolled in Gallatin. Here's my paperwork and my check. Thank you, Ms. Sparks. - Is there anything else? - I'd like to request a roommate. Blair Waldorf. She's my best friend, and I just can't wait to live with her. Serena. Carter. Aren't you supposed to be in Dubai? You know you can't lose me for long. Where you headed? Everywhere. I have something you might wanna know before you go. - I hope it doesn't have to do with Blair. - It has to do with you. About Santorini, what you were looking for. While I was on the trip you so graciously gave me I found it again. Only it's not in Santorini anymore, it's in Fiji. At least he was last week. You found my father? Get in. Let's go. Why aren't you in Europe? I was in Paris but only to get your favorite macaroons from Pierre Hermé. And Germany? To pick up your favorite Falke stockings. You know how I adore them. - What are you doing here, then? - You were right. I was a coward, running away again. But everywhere I went you caught up with me. So I had to come back. I wanna believe you. But I can't. - You've hurt me too many times. - You can believe me this time. That's it? I love you too. But can you say it twice? [LAUGHING] No, I'm serious, say it twice. CHUCK: I love you. I love you. There's three. Four. I love you. GOSSIP GIRL: XOXO, Gossip Girl. Gossip girl here-- Your one and only source Into the scandalous lives of manhattan's elite. Georgina? where are you? You can tell jesus that the bitch is back. - Emma. - Got a credit card fake i.d. And i want bacardi and a boy. That beautiful dinner you made-- You were gonna propose weren't you? I just don't know where we stand right now. Tell me if what you feel for me is real. It's just a game. - Chuck why did you just do that? - Because i love her. I can't believe blair won! Yeah, who even voted for her? - Me. about 150 times. - That was really sweet. I just wanted to make sure she had the perfect night. - Where's the prom king? - We broke up. But everything was so perfect. Turns out fairy tales end when they do for a reason. Like everything on the upper east side High school graduation is done a little differently. Who needs pomp and circumstance when you have paparazzi? Ever since "gossip girl" broke my arrest It has been everywhere. Do you know eric found it in "pravda"? You're famous because you got arrested. Of course this happened to you. I just can't wait for this day to be over. The end of high school means the end of me on "gossip girl." No, she has plagued you more than anyone. You were her first blast ninth grade, if i remember correctly. It involved a white dress some rain And a recently docked aircraft carrier? Okay, let's just hope that my mug shot is The last thing she ever prints about me. Look on the bright side. Gossip girl does not report on college So this is your last day to be under her rule. Okay can you just take my mind off of me? - Talk about anything. - Did he say it like... - Anything but-- "i love her"? - "i love her"? - "i love her?" - i totally set myself up for that one. B.i don't know why you're acting like this is new information. You know how chuck feels about you. The problem isn't his feelings. It's his inability to express them to the right person. Who cares who he tells if he doesn't tell me? Does he even know that you and nate broke up? Have you not told him? It's not like we stay up at night Braiding each other's hair and having heart-to-hearts. Then why are we still here? we've already paid the check. Serena. - So we'll meet afterwards for the party. - will do. - Good luck up there, son. i'm proud of you. - Thanks. It's like getting a smile from the president. And how are you? I'm good. and you? Good, good. i start my internship At the mayor's office next week.so that's the big news. As for today i got my mom and my grandpa To agree to sit together so that's something. - And things with you and - Blair? Yeah, it's over. but it's okay. It turns out,we just had to go through something to be sure. Ever since it ended i can't stop thinking About how horribly i handled everything between us. So i just wanted to say i'm sorry. Thanks. It means a lot. and thanks for what you did last year. If i hadn't taken the s.a.t.s i'd never be going to n.y.u. Right after i get back from my Backpacking trip through europe, of course. Look at us--so civilized. Hey stop by my party tonight. Party? what party? After-grad party. I figured i'd at least do something To commemorate my time here. so i hope to see you there. Both of you. Is that a program? Yeah. and smile. Today's the first day of the rest of your life. Way ahead of you. This graduation is a celebration for us too. No more mean girls. We have suffered under their dictatorship for way too long. Starting next fall, there'll be peace in the kingdom. J. wanna throw your hat in the ring? What are you talking about? Queen. what else is there to talk about? The fact that there's not gonna be a queen next year? What would high school be without hierarchy? Bearable? a nice place to spend time? Ladies. I thought we were matching our headbands under our caps. - What's going on? - your minions were just telling me About the search for the next queen. They don't get to choose the next queen. i do. And take off that hideous scarf, penelope. You can see if from space. Not so fast j. don't waste your time appealing to blair. We don't listen to her anymore. The coronation happens at midnight at nate archibald's party. Whoever brings us the biggest piece of untold Constance gossip wins and you've got competition. The new girl emma boardman transferring in next year. Nice to meet you little j. See you at midnight? unless you want to concede right now... Oh and next year You don't want to take the subway to school. You're more than welcome to sleep at my house. it's on park. Well so much for that. At least we have all summer to prepare for hell. No. the cycle of abuse must be broken. The monarchy ends tonight. Hey. why are you sitting here all alone? I'm waiting to approve a special insert My name was left off the list of graduates. Fate sure knows how to run with a bit. Well at least you're special. - Mr. Humphrey? - Oh thank you. "We apologize for the inadvertent omission "of Daniel Humphrey from the graduation program. He is indeed graduating. Congratulations Don." That's perfect. I haven't seen you around. Have you been looking? How are you? I'm fine. No I'm great. Um But I could be better. I... was wondering if you heard that I... I'm... I'm so happy high school's over. Congratulations. You too. Everyone let's line up So we can make our way down please. Girls on on side boys on the other Girls on on side boys on the other Right. Well good luck up there. How could I have forgotten? We reserved our seats together. Oh Lily and Rufus! Oh We haven't seen you - Since we broke matzo together. - Hi. - You look wonderful. -Thank you. Love--It's put color in all of our cheeks. We were talking on the way over here About what a wonderful couple you two make. So we decided you should take the plunge like us. Dating at our age is not enough. Marry before it's too late. Well It's not exactly Uh We're just enjoying the journey. Well Apparently at one point We had a destination But that no longer seems to be the case. Subtle. Mm I was going for honest. Dear friends colleagues As we stand here today We bear witness to a bright new beginning. Just standing in front of him I-I couldn't do it. I can't believe I chickened out. It's okay B. This is the beginning of something new. Now we can all move on. The possibilities are endless after all. Yes. To great things. And so what if i'm not going to yale? you were recently incarcerated And I'm afraid to talk to Chuck because he might hurt me again. This is our moment. Nobody can take that from us. I urge you to go out into the world And show them who you have become. Not so fast. You're not graduating until I give you my diplomas. Mine are labels and labels stick. Nate Archibald-- class whore. Dan Humphrey-- the ultimate insider. Chuck Bass--coward. Blair Waldorf--weakling. And as for Serena Van der Woodsen After today you are officially irrelevant. - O.M.G. - I know. Congratulations everyone. You deserve it. Now please join me in welcoming the class of 2009. Class please stand. You were right B. Nobody can take this day away from us. Gossip girl is going down. Gossip girl has ruined our graduation And it's only 2:00. We have to stop her. I don't know. Messing with gossip girl? Think of the consequences. You can't ask us to jeopardize our futures for your personal vendetta. Besides she didn't even say anything about us Not even penelope. Oh soup dumplings. This is not my personal vendetta. She attacked all of us and was wrong. Completely. Totally. Well I'm gonna go do some damage control just in case So don't wait for me. Well what about you two? Well of everyone here You guys probably have the most secrets you're hiding. I'll gather intel. I'll run some stats. I'm sorry... About before. About what part exactly? the pre-graduation squabble Or the fact that you no longer want to marry me? What exactly is our problem anyway? You tried to give me money behind my back When i said no. We both make mistakes. But if we can't accept that about each other How do we move forward? I don't know. But we can't go back. I need to um see my guests. Can we talk? Always. Is something wrong? I know you have high aspirations for me So in the spirit of full disclosure There's something you need to know Something that may... it may come out. I'm intrigued. Last summer... I had an affair With an older woman. Oh my boy. Welcome to washington. She was married at the time. Go on. And she... Well she paid me. Well... Whatever happens i'll protect you. Let's hope it doesn't come out. Yeah. Have you seen your girlfriend? - You don't know? - What? Blair and i broke up. This party is not so hot. There's a killer doughnut place around the corner. Can you guys believe gossip girl? "the--the insider"? what is that? - A really good movie? - that's a tabloid tv show. Come on. seriously£¬guys. she can't keep getting away with this. we all just have to band together and take her down. Serena we just graduated. gossip girl high school All these people backbiting and conniving-- Don't you think we should be moving on with our lives? Well high school's over But--but they're still my friends. you're still my friend. Yeah. What you--you don't think so? No no i do but honestly... School's finished And our parents... That--that doesn't really look great. Next year we're gonna be in different cities. And when you think about it What's really keeping us together? So that's it? You--you get your diploma and you're just moving on? Well congratulations dan. Have--have a good life. So... doughnuts? No let's just go home. - I want to--i want to get out of this suit. - all right. The number of posts in the last six months about constance and st. jude's is more than double Of the next mentioned school. number one on our hit list Would seem to indicate a personal connection. And i refuse to believe the students at our school are Any worse than those at horace mann or spence. So gossip girl most likely goes to or went to constance. Yeah exactly. why else the focus? Well,i would also assume that she is our age. The blasts all started when we were in the ninth grade. An upperclassman simply wouldn't care. So you're saying gossip girl's a senior,like us? Well,if she's a senior Then--then that means she's in the room right now. So who could it be? Rebecca sherman? no her head's always in a book. - She's not paying enough attention. - Okay. Not her either. Then i submit nelly yuki. Low profile Good with computers... Many grudges mostly against me. No i have been with her way too many times When gossip girl has sent out a blast. There's no way it's her. i'm gonna speed this up. What are you doing? sending a tip to gossip girl. - Chuck,get the room quiet for me. - i'm way ahead of you. If i could have everyone's attention please. We'd like to thank you all for being here today. Jonathan? what? Gossip girl is... a guy? It's him. look. What just happened? What's going on? Tell 'em who you are. Wait. so if you're not gossip girl You must know who she is. No. i just hacked into her server over spring break. I was bored. And now we have access to every e-mail that gets sent to her. I can't believe she gets All these posts that she doesn't report. No. no. boring. Apparently you dye your hair. Yeah we have this theory That either she can't substantiate some of them... Or she waits till the perfect moment for maximum damage. I wish i could be more helpful. No you--you have been so helpful. Can i actually borrow you for a minute? I'd like you to help me dig deeper. Nothing in here's good enough to beat the new girl... Except for this. No way. would you really use that? I-i don't think i can. If you did you'd totally win. Yeah,and then i could abolish the monarchy forever. You going to nate's party? No. i thought vanessa and i would hit a movie instead. And here we go. all right It's your last party of high school. Now i know you don't love your classmates But you just shared four years with them. honor that. And i suspect there may be a couple of people That you'd like to stay friends with,or at least one person. Yeah. yeah serena said kinda the same thing. So h-how am i gonna get these doses of sage wisdom When i'm living at the dorms at n.y.u.? I'll appear to you like obi-wan. Now go young jedi. All right. bye. have fun. Our kids graduated high school today. And i felt... old. And so i wanted to do something young and crazy And you're the only one i wanted to do it with. Something I found in Chuck's room. Well then I bet it's good. Are you dressing for someone? Yes. Someone I hope is finally ready to love me The way Cyrus loves you. Cyrus told me. You told Chuck how you felt and... He ran away. You seeing him tonight? Yes. Don't let him get away again Oh.. Hey..drunky. Don't embarrass yourself. Dan. You're here. There's something I have to tell you And it's only because I'm drunk And I'll probably never see you again. I um.... Oh God. I have to go. Was she just about to tell me she loved me? I'm so glad we came. Blair£¬I need to talk to you. Gossip girl knows. Ominous.But ill-timed. You can tell me tomorrow or never. About new year's? Look,the mean girls want the best piece of gossip In exchange for keys to the kingdom. I just thought you'd want to know. If gossip girl were gonna post that information She would have done it this morning. and like I said,the mean girls don't control anything. Blair, wake up. You're not queen anymore. You haven't been for a while. And you're not going to be either If you tell anyone what you know. I'm sorry I wasted my time on you. You don't have what it takes. You never did. Now if you'll excuse me. Bring me your leader. It's not midnight. My gossip's too juicy to wait. I wanna talk. I prefer to talk after. What do you think about my coat? I like it. Why? - And now? - Even better. And...what about my headband? I... admire it. And...my stockings? Oh I adore them. And my dress? I worship it. How do you feel about me? Say it. I... - What is it now? - Oh not again. Serena Van Der Woodsen Just couldn't leave well enough alone. Since she had to find out the truth about me I'm going to tell you the truth about everyone. Every gossip bomb I've got is about to drop And if you've got a problem with that,take it up with her. Ever wonder why Miss Carr left town? A little bee told me Dan Humphrey had sex with her During the school play. Remember the sparks between Humphrey's sis and Nate? Oh my God. During a hot photo session. Thank God it stopped at pg-13 Or someone could have ended up in jail like her brother. Is that true? What? You were in jail? And as for Blair Waldorf say "uncle." We hear she kept it in the Bass family on new year's. but rumor has it Chuck spent some time in Brooklyn-- Metaphorically speaking of course. - You slept with Jack? - You slept with Vanessa? Serena Van Der Woodsen here's looking at you. Jack? Blair? Really? That's calculating.Even for you. I was sad and he tried to comfort me. You call that comfort? More like collusion. Like you didn't do that with the dregs of d.u.m.b.o. I'm standing right here. I can't believe you slept with miss Carr. And you were in jail? I can't believe you let some guy take photos of you. Wh-what was he doing there? No,no,no. It wasn't as bad as it sounds. Okay? You guys just stop it,okay? She's trying to create A divide between us. This is exactly what she wants. We can't let that happen. You want to know something? I don't think it's her that created the divide. I think it was you. You're the reason we're on "gossip girl" in the first place. If it wasn't for you we'd all be safe. Okay that's enough. We all did what she said we did. - You can't blame Serena for this. - Yes we can. She declared war on gossip girl.You brought this on us. That's,that's not fair. Serena was just trying to help everybody. What do you know about anything Besides your label was the only one that was true. You mean what she said about the "insider"? Are you crazy? You're friend with Nate Archibald You played on the soccer team.You got into Yale You got the lead role in the school play You got published in "the New Yorker " You had sex with a teacher. Plus you dated the most popular girl in school And ignored the rest of us. No. I meant them. You pretend not to be like us but you are... to the bone. And you should have known better. Thank you. Kudos S. Way to go out with a bang. Now what did you want to tell me before? Oh. It doesn't matter now. - It just happened. - Leave me alone. You're not mad at me because of that. Just like I'm not mad at you about Vanessa. Stop telling me what I feel. We're just doing what we always do--finding excuses. Well... I won't do it anymore. I know you told Serena you love me. Serena heard wrong. Last year you told Nate. This year you told Serena. You tell everyone but me. Why can't you tell me? Is gossip girl right about you being a coward? That's not true and you know it. Gossip girl can be right about you all she wants But I won't let her be right about me. I will not be weak anymore. You can't run. You have to stay here and hear it this time. Chuck Bass... I love you. I love you so much... It consumes me. I love you... And I know you love me too. Tell me you love me Then everything we've done-- All the gossip and the lies And the hurt Will have been for something. Tell me it was for something. Maybe it was. But it's not anymore. Oh my gosh. Do you remember the casbah? That concert? Barely... In the best way. Oh my God. You covered "how will I know" And you dedicated it to me And I sat there trying not to laugh. Oh God. I was so in love with you. What are we doing? Things were so much easier when we were younger. Unlike our kids we just jumped into things. I mean, why can't we just be more like that Just figure it out as we go along? Maybe this didn't turn out to be The romance we thought it would be when we first met. Well. It's more like choose your own adventure. Maybe it just wasn't the right time. Maybe it never will be. What if it is? What if we're just too stubborn to see it? I don't want to miss out. Well... Neither do I. I don't have a ring So this will have to do. Rufus. What are you doing? Marry me, Lily. Marry me. I know that'll make me your... uh your fifth husband. So? Yes. Give me your hand. Come here. Hey. Don't worry about this. Okay? Everyone's gonna get over it eventually. When? Nate, high school is over. If I don't fix this tonight Some of these people will never talk to me again. And--and what happens next year? What... she does this to the next Serena and Nate and Dan and Blair? Well. What else can you do? It is too easy for her to sit behind a computer And not face the damage she's done. No. But she doesn't know that. You didn't get to use your gossip. Well here's something new-- I told chuck I loved him... again And he didn't say it back... again. Blair. I'm not gonna tell people that. Why not? I'm giving you what you need to be queen. I don't want to be queen. I just wanted a chance to have a life in school And look what it almost made me do. That's the thing.... You need to be cold to be queen. Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart And she got her head chopped off So her daughter Elizabeth made a vow never to marry a man. She married her country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize jenny humphrey. You can't make people love you But you can make them fear you. For what it's worth You're my queen. I choose you. Thank you. It's already been over an hour. The bar's closing soon. She's gonna come. I know she is. Whoa Whoa whoa. Wait. Wait. Dan is gossip girl? Gossip girl? You crazy? Then what are you doing here? I loopt you. Are you waiting for gossip girl? And I know you don't approve. I'm gonna go close the tab. This grudge match thing-- It d--it doesn't seem like you. What's--what's going on? I don't want to be irrelevant. Irrelevant? you're serena van der woodsen. Gossip girl might be right about me But she's--she's wrong about you. Without serena van der woodsen Who would i have dreamt about? I might have spent my whole life on the outside If you hadn't let me in... Which i'm holding against you. - Thank you. - Thank you. Oh, my God. Oh, that makes sense. Wait. they're a team. Team of what? Wait. Why are you all here? I got a text saying to meet you. - Yeah - So did I. - So did I. You wanted to meet gossip girl. Well look around. You just did. I'm nothing without you. And while most high school friendships fade It's my hope that what happened today will bond you forever. now that all my secrets are out You have a clean slate... Until college. Congratulations. I'm coming with you. oh. - Drinks on me. - Yes. Yes. thank you. I'm sorry about what i said. You don't have to apologize. Where's chuck? It's over... once and for all. But i'm gonna be strong. Still, it doesn't feel right without him here. You know everyone else is here. Yeah... Everyone's here. Oh it's beaufiful It looks so good on you. Oh! i've dreamed about this for so long. Do you want to fire it up? I can't. blair and I have a meeting at rouge tomate. Huh. that's cryptic. Both. So how are you today? Miserable. But at least college Will be the fresh start it's supposed to be. No chuck No nate. No anybody really. Except gossip girl. Forget I said that. It's okay. I read them too. "Spotted--chuck bass in france. chuck bass in germany. Chuck bass in italy." I hope he has so much fun that they have to quarantine him. Open your present. What? Oh! it's to remind you of who you are. I love it. I am gonna put it up on my wall at brown As soon as I get back from europe. oh! Come with me. I chased a guy for years who wasn't that into me And going to a glorified state school. My mother married an entertainment lawyer. so I need to just stop moving And contemplate the failure of my life. Well When you're ready to start moving again - You know I'll be here. - Yes of course I do. Humphrey Where's your mind? I know it sounds crazy But I actually- - I kind of miss high school. I miss blair waldorf and her daily ego demolitions Nelly Yuki stealing my lunch Even Chuck Bass who would get so close to talk. Wow. you miss Chuck Bass. Well not as much as you probably miss Chuck Bass. But yeah I uh I think it's safe to say That the nostalgia's officially begun. Apparently the upper east side feels the same way about you. What's up Dan Vanessa? Shouldn't you be getting the deputy mayorher coffee or something? Well I think she'd rather I gave her something else. - Yeah she made a pass at me. - god. is she hot? Actually yeah she is. You're both disgusting. I don't want to be the guy gossip girl made me out to be. So what are you gonna do? Go backpacking... if you'll have me. Well, it's too late. i'm... I'm taking someone else. - Oh, really? who? - It's me. Him. Yeah, we're gonna have a great time. Melissa and i. Oh. really? Daniela. - Close. - It's Vanessa but thanks for trying. Please let me go with you. I'm always doing what everyone else wants me to do. I want to do something for me. And we'll just go as friends. Don't worry. it won't be anything romantic Unless you know we drink a little too much in Vienna one night. How could you say no to that? Seriously. As long as you take off that ridiculous tie So i can maybe try to picture you with a backpack. What's wrong with my tie? Mm. i need a coffee. He's always wearing a tie. So i'm the one who does the good deed And that guy goes off with the girl? It's good to be that guy. Do you...you go here to n.y.u.? I was sort of heard you on the phone. I'm starting in the fall. uh i just transferred from b.u. scott. I'm dan. nice to meet you scott. - Maybe i'll£¬uh i'll see you around. - yeah. We got this for you. I'll take that. thank you. What are you doing here? What i should have done months ago. In about five seconds your phones are all going to go off With the latest gossip girl blast. She is nothing if not punctual. allow me. Remember all those secrets jenny amassed When she was trying to protect you nelly? Well now the world knows them too. So looks like we have a winner. Now if you don't mind... How can you do this? Letting some girl from brooklyn carry on our legacy? Haven't you ever heard of a foreign queen? Besides her dad is marrying lily bass£¬ So i think that makes her richer than all of you. Not enough. Okay so starting next year no more headbands Except for this one. - Thanks you can keep the change. - oh big spender. Hey mom. it's really cool here. Um i've already met some great people. Yeah. All right. all right. you were right about portland. I think i'm gonna love it. All right. yeah i--listen i gotta go all right? - I'll--i'll call you soon. - well i'm done for the day. Do you guys want to go see a movie? Ooh. hold on. hold on. Hello? Check your bank account. your money's back. It's georgina. Georgina where are you? what happened to poppy? You don't have to worry about her ever again. You got your money. that's all that matters. - Now you can go to yale. - well i'm going to n.y.u. now. Oh. great. then i'll see you next year. Wait. what does that mean? Hello? georgina? What? Georgina sparks? Yes that's right. I recently enrolled in gallatin. Here's my paperwork and my check. Thank you miss sparks. Is there anything else? I'd like to request a roommate-- blair waldorf. She's my best friend and i just can't wait to live with her. Serena. Carter. Aren't you supposed to be in dubayy? You know you can't lose me for long. where you headed? Everywhere. I have something you might want to know before you go. I hope it doesn't have to do with blair. No it has to do with you. It's about santorini what you were looking for there. While i was on the trip you so graciously gave me I found it again. Only it's not in santorini anymore. it's in fiji. At least he was last week. You found my father? Get in. let's go. Why aren't you in europe? I was in paris But only to get your favorite macaroons From pierre herm? And germany? To pick up your favorite falke stockings. You know how i adore them. What are you doing here then? You were right. I was a coward running away again. But everywhere i went You caught up with me. So i had to come back. I want to believe you... But i can't. You've hurt me too many times. You can believe me this time. That's it? I love you too. But can you say it twice? No i'm serious. say it twice. I love you. I love you. mm. There's three. four--i love you. '20 years ago, my good friend Douglas Adams spent a year tracking 'down endangered animals, together with the zoologist Mark Carwardine. 'Now, it's my turn. Mark and I are heading off to find out 'exactly what happened to those species that he'd seen 'dangling on the edge of extinction two decades ago. 'It promises to be exhausting... 'Exhilarating...' Unbelievable. 'Exasperating... 'But I wouldn't miss it for the world.' You seem to have brought me to some kind of paradise, Mark. Isn't it wonderful? There's clear water, there's beautiful white sand. What are we after? I thought you wouldn't complain. Our main objective is to get to Komodo and look for the Komodo dragon, which is one of the most impressive animals on the planet. The biggest lizard in the world, very dangerous and endangered, so that's what we're aiming for. But rather than go straight there, which I thought would be too easy, I thought we'd go and explore a bit of the Malay Archipelago and look at some of the other reptiles and the other wildlife along the way. We're actually heading for Snake Island. "Snake Island"? Right. Welcome to Snake Island, Mr Bond. Yeah, that's a worrying title, and what sort of snakes do we find there? This is home to an animal called the yellow-lipped sea krait, which is a kind of sea snake. It spends half its life in the water and half its life on shore. It actually comes out onto the shore to rest and to lay eggs. Are they venomous? I thought you'd ask that! It's actually the second most venomous snake in the world. 10 times more venomous than a rattle snake, more venomous than a king cobra. I've got open-toe sandals on. I forgot to mention that, yeah, you should have worn... Great(! ) No, I'm kidding, they're fine. The sea kraits are just one of the many creatures that thrive in the marginal world that exists between sea and land which is so widespread throughout the islands that make up Malaysia and Indonesia. Oh, did you see? Oh, there's a little lizard. Quite a big lizard. What kind? That was a water monitor. Water monitor, that sounds like a job at school. It does, actually. Today, you'll be water monitor. That was quite big.It's a slightly weaker version of a milk monitor. Oh, careful, careful.Oh, my God! Oh, my... That's a sea snake? Look at that, that's a good size one, isn't it? Yep.You're not going to handle it? Oh, my God, you are. Careful. Oh, my goodness! You are very brave! Mark told me this is possibly the second most venomous snake in the world.Yep. God, look at that. Gorgeous markings. I was just going to say. Because it's also called the banded sea krait, you can see why - all those dark bands across the body. What's amazing about it is that it spends most of its time out at sea, out in the ocean. It can dive and hold its breath for up to 2 hours. Yes.Good Lord.They'll come on land for mating also. And lays the eggs. Is this a female, this one? Yeah. Normally the female is bigger than the male.Right. OK, so I'm going to release it. We should release it. Where are we going to do that? Just going to release it here. Back to the same spot we found it. It is a big one, isn't it? Beautiful. It's a good four feet. I didn't think snakes had feet! Hmm? Nothing, I didn't speak. Je despair! 'On our journey through the archipelago, we'll be 'discovering more fascinating species 'who've adapted to this marine and terrestrial existence, but whose 'habitat is under increasing threat from human activity.' From Snake Island, off the coast of Sabah in north east Borneo, we'll be travelling south east, to the islands around Flores in Indonesia, where that mighty, ugly, salivating giant lizard known as the Komodo dragon awaits our arrival with its foul and stinky breath. After the fleeting glimpse of the water monitor, Mark is keen to show me more of these reptiles who so closely resemble the Komodos. They are much smaller than the dragons and, unlike the Komodos, extremely successful, having colonised practically every island of the archipelago. Got to take pictures of it. Extraordinary, they're obviously flesh eating - they seem to be tearing at something. They eat absolutely anything, from small insects to small deer. They'll eat one another, they eat human faeces, they eat dead bodies, they eat absolutely anything - amazing animals. Look at that tongue smelling. Is that what it does? It's a blue tongue.Just like a snake, yeah. This is exactly how I was picturing a Komodo dragon to look, but... It's hard to believe, but these are tiddlers compared to the dragons I'm hoping we're going to see. Hello! Smaller guys have to watch out, cos they'll get eaten by some of the bigger adults. Good gracious. Are they aggressive? No, you'll be fine. And they're being hunted. Big numbers, hundred of thousands of them, are killed for their skin. And the skin is imported to Europe and Japan and the States to make handbags. So many of them are being killed, they're obviously at risk. It's very humid. And there is something bubbling. Wow, that looks fantastic! 'The whole of this region is on a major fault line, 'and has the most active volcanoes anywhere in the world. 'Eruptions are frequent, 'albeit rarely as violent as the infamous Krakatoa, 'but even on this small island, 'there are some ominous evidences of all that subterranean activity.' I'm going to take off my clothes. You devil. I'm going to go butt naked... but with trunks. Oh, my God, it's weird, look at that. Oh, it is warm. Oh! That's fantastic. You actually can't get down. You can feel it sort of pulling all around you, that's so amazing! Oh, it's great.You also feel slightly like one of those Pompeii figures, caught in an attitude of... Here comes the volcano.Actually, it's like being weightless. Like being an astronaut. Can you swim? No, if I do a one-legged side... Oh, I feel very slippery. My goodness, they pull your trunks down... This weight of mud. 'Muddy, but oh-so-thoroughly cleansed after our ad-hoc spa treatment, 'we head to the beach. 'But at the liminal zone between the sea and land, 'we find a curious species which has cunningly adapted to this habitat.' Look, more mud. Little creatures on it.Look at these, these are mudskippers - they're fish, can you believe? What? ! They actually come out of the water, and they've got fins like other fish, but they use their tails. They curl their tails around and use them like springs and then leap. Why? Is it food up here, or mating, or what do they do? They spend most of their time out of the water, actually. They breed in the water, they have little tunnels they make out of mud that are underwater, and they do all of their social activities on the mud. So in the breeding season, the males will suddenly leap up in the air and do back flips and try and impress the females, and if the female likes the look of the male, he'll then get her into his little tunnel and she'll lay eggs and he'll fertilise the eggs. So would it be fanciful to regard these as a sort of missing link - is this how the first land animals moved from the sea to the land and became reptiles? Well, it's interesting to look at them and learn bit about how it might have happened. They're not actually related any more than any other fish to the original animals that came out. That happened 365 million years ago when fish started walking on land, and these are doing the same thing. So they're interesting from that point of view. Look at that one. Did you see that one leap? Fantastic.We should get into the water and wash off. I think, frankly, let's... there's the sea. 'It's hard to exaggerate the devastation that man has wrought 'on these seemingly pristine beaches 'and the wildlife that depend on them. 'One particular family of reptiles has suffered more than most - 'the sea turtles. 'For millions of years all over South East Asia, 'vast numbers of turtles 'came ashore on beaches like these to lay their eggs... But no more. 'Most of the beaches are now empty.' 'However, a few hundred miles to the east, on Pulau Selingan, 'evidence of the turtles' nests pock mark the beach. 'Remarkably, 20 years after being born here, 'the female turtles return to exactly the same beach, 'to lay their eggs.' The eggs are down there somewhere, and they're probably a good half a metre to 80cm underneath your feet. 'Dr Nick Pilcher has spent his career studying the turtles around these shores 'and has been actively involved, alongside Sabah National Parks, 'with a major conservation program here. 'Egg poaching, hunting for their meat and shells and 'drowning in fishing nets has led to a dramatic collapse in their numbers 'in spite of their protected status. 'To increase the remaining hatchlings' survival rate, 'which at best is less than 1% in the wild, 'Nick and the park rangers patrol the beaches 'and collect the eggs to put into a hatchery. 'Every night in the nesting season, up to a score of turtles will come ashore here to lay between 70 and 120 eggs each.' Oh, look, you can see them, they just come one after the other! They look like table tennis balls, don't they? Oh, look, there they are... Actually the ranger has to get the rest of the eggs out of this nest, there he comes. It's extraordinary, isn't it? It's another example of how the act of conservation is almost exactly the same as the act of poaching. That what we're doing here for good used to be done by people to take the eggs to steal them for food.Absolutely. Do you want to try and reach in and grab some? So what do I do, just lean? Just put one hand down behind her flipper there. Now you can reach in - try not to touch her tail. Oops, got one. Try and grab them all out before she finishes laying, so... There's another one there. It's hard. Can I feel it? Yeah, look at that. Oh, it's warm and heavy. What's interesting is that you can make a little dimple in it - it's a little bit flexible, and that gives it a little bit of play when it falls into the nest. I can't see anything through the light, I can't see a shape. You don't get any fresher than these. How many was that? 95 total. That's a good number. She's starting to cover it up. She thinks the eggs are still there, so she's going to cover this up just like it was any other nest. She's being extremely careful about how she puts her weight down. All the eggs are being kept in a sort of inner dome as it were, and then the looser sand will get... It is more sophisticated than just filling the hole. It is, she's building a whole shape around it. The other thing that's interesting is she's using her front flippers, throwing sand to backfill. Oh, we're getting showered in sand, straight in your face. Yes, it was. Extraordinary - there's a lot of power in those flippers. I'm gradually disappearing. There you go! Look at you. So when she starts heading towards the sea, is she going towards the sound of the sea or the lights? She's actually going to follow the slope of the beach, possibly somewhat the sound of the waves. She's going really quickly now. Look at the speed! She can smell it. She's so happy to be back. Well done, mother. Good job done.Well done. CLAPPING Some of the great scenes in nature - the power of maternity and the power of instinct and the fitness for purpose, all come together in the turtle - almost like no other animal. That fitness of purpose, hundreds of millions of years. Are there still lots of mysteries surrounding sea turtles, still a lot of unanswered questions? Absolutely. We know what happens to them when they go into the sea, we understand a lot about this magnetic orientation and... But how do they make it back? You stop and think about that and you go, "Well, who told them they should come back here?" Sure, it's natural and there's a homing instinct... How is that homing instict derived, how do they even do it? That was fantastic. That was one of the great evenings of my life. I get to do this on a daily basis! 'The hatchery is half in shade, half in sun, 'as the slight temperature difference determines the sex 'of the animal. 2 degrees is all it takes to change a male to a female. 'If only our lives were that easy! ' Actually, if the nest is quite warm, you'll get a greater number of females. So have you got one that's due? Well, if we just wander up and down here and just see what there is, there could be some. This one looks... That one looks like it came out. Look - here you go. Look at this. Do they climb out... There's one hatching. They're just about to come out. Here you go. Look at this. Can I hold him? Yeah. Oh, that's the most fantastic animal, isn't it? Literally just been born - effectively, its first sight of the world, isn't it? They're perfect.One of the things you'll find with these animals... When they're walking down the beach and they can feel something underneath them, then they've got an alternating gait. Just on land, to run along the sand. But the minute they go weightless - so the minute they're in the water - they'll start to swim. Oh, wow, that's fantastic. So he's swimming along as if he was in the water, and notice also that the head comes up for a breath, just like it would... Look at that, see? The head is coming up for a breath as if it were in the water. Oh, there are more down there. Oh, they're all coming out now. Once some of them start to move, that's the message for the ones underneath - "C'mon, guys, let's come out and go and see the beach." Swarm of them - does it say how many eggs? Well, there were 81 eggs. That's very healthy, extremely healthy. Let's get these guys out to the ocean rather than keep them waiting around. Yes, please.This is excellent. Evening time, when hatchlings would typically be coming out. So they'd come out just before the sun drops down, would they? Yep. I think this is a good enough spot to let them go. The idea is, in nature they would actually come out and run down the beach, and as they're running down, they're picking up on magnetic fields. So they need a bit of a run-in, just to orient themselves. To get their bearings. Exactly. Once they go through here, they'll have a much better idea of where they're headed. So that's why we release them up here. And we can just gently release this. How extraordinary.Here they go! And notice one thing - they're headed straight towards the brightest spot. They are - straight for the sun. That is the most incredible sight. Fantastic. Look at them! Look at him! They're desperate! There's no hanging around, they're not nervous about it - straight in the sea. Notice as soon as they float, they change their swimming pattern. Just like a clockwork toy. Look, there's one last one up here - look, Stephen. Oh, yes. Come on. Come on, you. Oh, no, the crab grabbed it as it went over the hole. Rescue it! I know you're not supposed to intervene, but hey! That's it, go for it. Good luck! Yeah! Made for the water. Oh, that's fantastic. I've never seen anything quite so magical in all my life. That's one of the best wildlife things I've seen. 20-25 years from now, hopefully she'll be back laying eggs if she's a girl. That was fantastic. A great sight. 200 miles to the south on the border with Indonesia and the Philippines, we are to get a chance to see the adult turtles in their natural habitat. See you in there. Mark tells me these are some of the best coral reefs in the world, but their health is as much at risk as the turtles. Dynamite and cyanide fishing, the pet trade and global warming are such serious threats to the reefs and all that are dependent on them, it's feared they may be extinct within 50 years. But it's hard to imagine that now, as I gaze in wonder at the grace and beauty of the turtles in their weightless world. Wow, that was amazing! Extraordinary. I've never seen anything like it in all my life. Two turtles I saw, at least. So graceful and beautiful, those easy strokes of those amazing flippers. I was watching them go off over the abyss, they go over the edge of the reef out to the open ocean. We're staying on the island of Mabul, which is home to many different nationalities. There are the Bugis, the sea gypsies that roam these waters, Malays, Filipinos, Indonesians from various ethnic groups, and all of them struggling to make a living on this crowded coral island. Hello. Sprite? Sprite. Dua. Terima Kasih. Thank you.There you go. 'For these islanders, shark fishing is a major resource, 'but one which itself is threatened with extinction.' I don't know what species of shark it is - good size one. Look at all the rows of teeth. Oh, my goodness... One, two, three, four, five, six... You can't even count, they go right down... There's at least eight. It's a conveyor belt, so these front teeth are in use and as they break off, which they do often, literally, the next one just pops up like that, and that works, and then there's another one ready to go, and there are others developing further back so they never run out of teeth. Extraordinary. Presumably it was killed for shark fin soup, is that one of the big problems? That's the big threat. Sharks the world over are being killed by the million. They reckon 150 million sharks are killed every year - every year - just for shark fin soup. Things like this are a by-product. Most of them just get caught and the fins get cut off, and they get thrown overboard, often alive, so most of the shark is wasted, and in these cases they just take the jaws, which they sell to tourists. And there are so many of them. 'There are other endangered species nearby. 'In amongst the sea gypsy villages that flourish in these margins of sea and land trots one of the most endearing animals of all. Ouch. Good - that's the first stage complete, up to the knees. The reason I'm wearing these today, which I didn't yesterday, is cos I've got really bad - it's quite red here - really bad sunburn from the snorkelling. Just from lying, you know... Weird.Stephen, are you coming? Yes, sorry, just chatting to the ladies and gentlemen. Ah... Oh, dear... Hello. It'll be dark soon. Oi, less of it. Ouch. Oh, I see. Oh, dear, excuse me. Ow! For goodness' sake, it's impossible. Yeah, exactly! Ow! Have mercy on my poor flesh. Say if it starts to hurt.Oh, yeah, that's usually what I mean by "ow"! That was lovely, really good. We were lucky to see one, cos they're so well camouflaged, aren't they? They really are, especially when they stretch themselves out - they become like a caterpillar. They do. I always think they look like bits of other animals. They've got a monkey's tail, that prehensile tail that wraps around the... Grasps the end of the blade. Then they've got a horses head, obviously, and chameleon eyes, cos the eyes can... Swivel. In different directions. Then the most amazing thing is they've got like a kangaroo pouch. The males have got what's called a brood pouch and they are the ones that get pregnant. It's very unusual - the male gives birth to the young and... To live young? Yeah, it's an extremely unusual way of reproducing. So are seahorses in danger? Yeah, of course, there's all sorts of threats. The main threat is traditional medicine in China. They get dried and ground up and used as everything for medicine, from asthma to an aphrodisiac. Thank you. These little spratty things. 'In the markets of the archipelago, 'it's hard to persuade artisanal fishermen to limit what they catch. 'Such a seeming abundance and diversity of sea life to be eaten, 'or sold to the Chinese, belies the problem - 'a real threat to a whole range of vulnerable species.' There's some sharks there.Oh, yeah. That's sad, that's the fin gone. And they sell the rest of it, but the fin is the valuable part? That's right, the fin is what goes to make shark fin soup. A very young one. That's the trouble these days - most of the sharks being brought up are small, which is a sign that the big ones are already gone. Yeah. A sleepy time of the afternoon, isn't it? 'The trade in shark fins, seahorses and other unappetising sea creatures 'is thriving, in spite of the evidence that they're fast disappearing.' Goodness me.What an extraordinary collection of stuff.Oh, are those... Those are sea cucumbers, which they use in a soup. Literally, millions of sea cucumbers are collected from the wild around the world. They look like sort of ossified turds, to be honest. Shark fins, they're all dried, ready to go. Look, there's sea horses. Goodness.Look at that. They're perfectly dried. What they do with these is they put them in a cooking pot and boil them in water for 3-4 hours and then they drink the water. Very, very popular, and millions of sea horses are traded around the world just for that. That's a tonic, but there are several dozen different animal products that are being traded for Chinese medicine. Things like tiger penises, rhino horns and it's such a huge volume. When you think of 1.5 billion people believing in this kind of medicine, demanding the products. One of the key goals for conservation in years to come is to educate people in the far east not to buy these products. If you can get rid of that demand then you'll start to solve the problem on the ground. And it's not only the sea creatures that are under threat from the demands of Chinese traditional medicine. The pangolin, or scaly anteater, that lives in the forests of South East Asia is highly sought after for its reputed health giving properties. Many are caught, but this one is lucky. It's going to be released by a park ranger into a protected reserve. Can we just chat about it a little bit? I know a little cos funnily enough, we did the pangolin on QI. It's a mammal, isn't it? People often think, "Gosh, that must be a reptile," cos I think it's the only mammal covered in scales, isn't it? Large scales. These are made out of keratin like our fingernails, like rhino horns. People call them sometimes walking pine cones, which I think is a great description.That's very good. And unfortunately, it's rather delicious flesh, isn't it? Isn't there an issue with them being stolen from the wild for the plates of Chinese restaurants and other places around the world? Yes, one of the delicacies.And they're expensive and highly rated. People drink the blood as well, and they reckon these keratin scales are good for things like blood circulation and swellings, and then they boil them to get the scales off and eat the meat. He's taken his whole face out of his... Isn't that fantastic? And how endangered is the pangolin? Vulnerable? Well, they are a protected species. They are a protected species. Well, we should let him go. What are you going to do, just put him on the ground? Just put him on the ground here and then we will... I think he's going to make a dash for it, wouldn't blame him. Can't believe his luck. OK, he's just smelling... Oh, he's going the wrong way now. There he goes. There he goes! They find it hard to walk because of those big claws - of course they have to walk with the claws curled... Oh, look at that. That's where the claws come in handy as well. Oops. Reasonably in handy! That's better. Got the hang of it now. That's fantastic. Splendid. Well done. Well, that was a great success. Yeah. The pangolin faces an even greater threat than poaching. Like so many other animals here, it's fast losing its habitat. The main cause - the dramatic increase in palm oil plantations. Rows and rows and rows of these palm trees. I know. It's scary, isn't it? It's literally as far as the eye can see. Look, over that hill and beyond. And these are all over South East Asia, aren't they? Yes, it's one of the big conservation issues in the world, let alone just in South East Asia, because what's happening is vast areas of tropical rainforests are being cleared and replaced with palm oil plantations like this. And we in Europe are partly to blame because we're among the consumers. Is it a foodstuff oil? Yeah, the palm oil is used in foodstuffs, food processing, and also in cosmetics. And the latest thing, which is very ironic, is in bio fuels - environmentally friendly fuels. So-called environmentally friendly. Well, of course, the fuel itself is environmentally friendly, but the production not only destroys the rainforest, which destroys all the wildlife and so on, it also, by destroying the rainforest, releases more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere than you save by using the bio fuels, so it's a bad thing all round. Most of the wildlife in the forest that would have been here has gone. 'Palm oil has caused the destruction of much of Borneo's rainforest, 'but it's also the mangroves, 'those amazing trees that spend half their life in the sea, 'that are equally at risk, along with the species they nurture. 'One of the most endangered is also one of the most ridiculous looking - 'the aptly-named proboscis monkey. 'In Labuk Bay, a small area of 400 acres has been saved 'from the encroaching palm oil plantation 'by its owner Ambrose, who is dedicated to preserving 'the unique wildlife of these tidal swamp lands.' What happens when we are here, looking at the monkeys all around, we feel that it's unfair to destroy their habitat.No, quite. I mean, sometimes we're thinking about this, studying all the pros and cons - in the end, we have to protect them. So it's one little island though, with all around is palm, palm, palm, and this one part - because you have it, it's private land. Yes.So you can do what you like with it.Yes, it's all private property. Right. And you've turned it into a sanctuary for all, I mean, not just the monkeys, the proboscis and the... Yes, and also we also want to protect the mangrove. Knowing well that we need to help the mangrove. And from this sanctuary, I think we are the leaders, we make the first move, you see? So hopefully the rest of all these big players in the plantation also follow suit. Seeing them in profile there, you know the Indonesians used to call them "Dutch monkeys" because that was a bit of a dig at the Dutch settlers because of their big pot bellies, and of course, their big red noses. You can see it, can't you? You can. Also, there's something about the noise they make... Reminds me of lunchtime at the Garrick Club. "Oh, they've given him a peerage, what has he ever done? Ridiculous!" "Oh, I see from my paper that you're dead." "Urgh, argh." It's rather nice in this world, where most tropical fruit is available in the local British supermarket, to see things that aren't, and this is something I've long wanted to try. This is the famous durian fruit, isn't it? I know, the smelly fruit that lots of airlines have banned. Yes, you're not allowed to have it in Singapore in public transport, and in hotels there are signs with cigarettes crossed out and durian fruit crossed out. Shall we get one, try one? I think so. Oh, it's like an embryo. Hideous. Feels disgusting. Oh, it's so unctuous and slippery. Are you ready? Argh! I wish I could describe to you how disgusting that smells. It's hot from Satan's anal ring. Not quite that bad! You know, do you? ! Tastes delicious, really sweet and... Not bad at all. As you say, the texture is not appealing particularly. But...oops. The taste is lovely. I'll have another piece.Mmm. Terima Kasih. As there are no direct flights from Borneo to our next destination, the Komodo islands, we need to do a spot of island hopping. Our first waypoint is the island of Bali. Unlike neighbouring Borneo, Bali destroyed its rainforests centuries ago, when the Hindus settled on this small island to escape the advance of Islam. Every available piece of land was harnessed to feed the growing population, to the detriment of the forest fauna and flora. The Balinese have remained resolutely Hindu in spite of the overwhelming dominance of Islam amongst Indonesia's 230 million people. The mix of local deities, animism and Hindu mythology has created a dynamic ritual life for the Balinese that is seen everywhere on the island. Though there is great respect for nature, ironically, animal, and specifically turtle sacrifices, have been a major ingredient in the ceremonies. You can see everywhere in Bali how important Hinduism is, with all the offerings. Everywhere you walk there are little offerings to different deities. It shows just how hard it is to change traditions like sacrificing sea turtles. It's been happening for time immemorial, and to actually make that change involves a lot of effort. So instead of sacrificing turtles, what do they do? Well, some places are now using drawings or paintings of turtles. Mock turtles? Yes! Why didn't I see that coming? No, they're using things like drawings and paintings and rice cakes in the shape of turtles - anything that represents a turtle. Well, in a lot of religions, their history is a move from the actual to the symbolic, isn't it? Of course, yeah. MEN SPEAK IN NATIVE TONGUE 'The evening entertainment in the temple grounds is the traditional 'shadow play, with a plot involving gods, demons, and fallible humans, 'as well as a fleeting glimpse of of a Komodo dragon.' 'I wish we could have stayed longer, 'but our destiny lies to the east, where the real dragons await us. Labuan Bajo is the main port on the island of Flores, and where we'll find our boat to the islands where the dragons live. In the 20 years since Mark and Douglas came here, the five islands that make up the main Komodo habitat have become a National Park, and a popular destination for the intrepid traveller. It's a rather nice town. Has it changed much since you were here with Douglas? Oh, God, yes, so different - can't believe it's the same place. But the islands are marvellous to see, aren't they? They've got that South East Asian sort of humpiness that's just very characteristic. They're different from islands anywhere in the world. That one there is just fantastic. Mark... "Man killed by Komodo dragons." I'm not making it up - look. My goodness!"Two Komodo dragons mauled a fruit picker to death "in eastern Indonesia," police and witnesses said, yesterday. "The latest in a string of attack on humans by the world's largest lizard species."! That's not good. Well, they are incredibly dangerous animals. I think the most scary thing is they have this amazing saliva, the saliva is dripping from their mouths they have so much of it, it's like a witch's brew of bacteria. And what they do is, they don't like tackling the big animals and actually bringing them down, so they'll lie in ambush, and they'll leap out and bite a water buffalo, or a deer, or a horse or some huge prey animal, and then just wait for it to gradually lose strength and get weaker and weaker or die, and then it'll go and - maybe a week later - will go in for the kill. That's the creepiest way for an animal to earn a living that I've ever heard of! That's revolting - that's lower than a dung beetle. It's lower than an estate agent or a banker! How creepy is that? 'We hear that one of the Komodo park rangers, a man called Pak Main, was 'attacked last month while sitting 'at his desk in the rangers' office on the island of Rinca. 'He's still recuperating at home.' I hear you had a fight with a Komodo dragon - what happened? The dragon bit my foot, the left. After a bite here, still in my foot his mouth, so I had to step and take the right of my foot put in the body. To stamp on him, yes. I would like to make a break of the leg of the dragon, but he more strong and I cannot hold him. So the dragon, throw down on the floor, try to bite anotheron the hand. Oh, my goodness.You have many more scars here and your hand is swollen. And then I make like this. I'm calling my friend. Right, so you're shouting with blood coming out of you. Help me, help me. Well, this is a warning to us to be careful.Yes. We're off! Yes, this is what we've come here for. 'The wind is fair and all is shipshape aboard the good ship Felicia, 'as we set sail for our encounter with the decidedly deadly dragons.' 'Our first stop will be at Rinca, the second largest of the islands 'within the Komodo National Park, 'which in 1991 was designated a World Heritage Site. 'The result is that not only are the dragons protected, but so crucially, 'are the animals they feed on.' We seem to be approaching land. Yeah, so this is Rinca. Rinca. Seems quite a bare sort of landscape. Rather Welsh or Scottish almost - not many trees, and scrubby grass and rocky outcrops. What sort of animals and things does the Komodo dragon live on? Here, they're living on animals introduced by people, actually, the big things like water buffalo, horses, pigs, deer...big things. For the past six years, zoologist Pak Deni has been studying the dragons, monitoring their movements, and examining their mating and hunting habits. The most recent research indicates that the dragons are in fact highly venomous, so it now seems it's not just the toxic brew of bacteria in their saliva, but also the anti-coagulants in their venom which disable their prey. So this makes them the largest venomous animal in the world. And I'm about to meet them. Great(! ) Oh, my goodness! Look at this. It's not, is it? They're huge! That's a really big one, isn't it? My goodness me. How big would you say that is? This one, probably 80kg. Are they aggressive to you? They keep an eye on us. We have to be careful. But this is where you live - the rangers live here. And this is the office where - we were talking to Main yesterday - that's where he was attacked. Yes, there's still blood remaining on the windows.Oh, dear! And they can climb up these steps? Of course, that's why we have to be careful.God, I thought I was ugly. They really are not the most attractive animals, there's nothing about them that endears us as mammals to them, but I daresay they love each other in their own way. They're so well armed - you've got those amazing claws, like tiger talons, and a really powerful tail they can knock an animal as big as a horse and a water buffalo over with, and the shark-like teeth. He's nuzzling. We could get some gay action going on. How long have you studied and worked with Komodo dragons? Since 2002. Do you - this is a strange question - do you like them? The first time, I have to be honest, it is a dangerous species and I have to be careful and I was a little bit worried, but after one year, two years, I try to love my job. And do you now? Yes. You do.This is the only dragons that live in Indonesia which is my country. I'm proud of it and it's kind of my pride. You see all the folds of skin, that's what fascinates me. That's partly so they can expand when they eat, cos they eat huge amounts, don't they? In one sitting they can eat almost sort of 80% of their own weight in one sitting. They get really big, obviously, so all those extra bits of skin will stretch out like a big bag. Do they use the tongue to smell? Yeah, it's an incredibly clever system cos it's the forked tongue and they can tell which direction the smell is coming from.In stereo! It is, smell in stereo.Left channel, right channel - brilliant. It's so powerful they reckon... I don't know what the latest theory is, but many kilometres away.More than 4km. They are as ugly as sin, but, like all animals, I suppose they're very good at being themselves. You've got to respect that Komodo dragonness of them, it's so complete, isn't it? When their tongues come out, you can see where the Chinese dragon myth came from, cos the tongue is like fire coming out, and a couple of thousand years ago there were Chinese traders stopping off here, and that's where the "here be dragons" was written on the maps, warning people in this area that these animals were here. There's one there looking straight at me, and it's one of the most malevolent expressions I've ever seen on any living thing. The dragons live cheek by jowl with the rangers, but they also wander throughout the various villages or kampungs on the islands, whose inhabitants now number some 4,000. Be interesting to know what the villagers think of living as it were in the shadow of the dragon. Wouldn't it? We need to try and find a head man, or mayor, I don't know what you'd call the person in charge of the village here. The kampung commandant. Do you think? Yeah. A local legend recounts how once upon a time, the Komodo was a human's twin, which may explain something of their mutual tolerance. Goodness me, lovely, aren't they? But last year, on the largest kampung on Komodo, a child was eaten by a dragon, so we want to find out how the villagers' attitude to these dangerous predators has changed. Could you ask him if the villagers are always aware, always conscious of the fact that they have these dangerous dragons close to them? HE SPEAKS NATIVE TONGUE Before the kids died, it just live in harmony. But right after the kids die one year ago, the peoples here a little bit careful, they teach the little ones not enter the forest again. And do they like the fact that tourists come to see the dragon, is that a good thing, are they welcomed here? HE SPEAKS NATIVE TONGUE Oh, it's happy, they're happy with the tourists, they get incomes from the tourists. 'I detect a certain insouciance towards the dragons, 'but maybe it's because there's simply no alternative. 'And maybe to them, killing the dragon would be tantamount to fratricide. 'We leave the village to sail to the far side of Rinca, 'where Deni has a research project to continue. 'As we pass the mangrove forests that adorn the islands like 'emerald necklaces, Mark is keen to show me how crucial they are to the health of the entire archipelago.' Wow, isn't that incredible? ! Fantastic, isn't it? I mean, it sounds a silly thing to say,but this is trees growing in the sea! I know, I always think of them as botanical amphibians. They've sort of got one foot on the land and one foot in the sea - it's the most extraordinary habitat. Aside from everything else it's just so beautiful, this kind of wonderful bushy margin to the islands. Oh, I love it, it's great. They're marvellous and they're multifunctional - are they in any way endangered? Of course, as most things are. No, they are, there's coastal developments of all sorts from golf courses to hotels. They're destroying mangroves and reclaiming the land. Shrimp farming is one of the main threats, and the other problem is once you've destroyed a habitat, all the other wildlife goes and, you know, we've just seen not just the fish, there are barnacles and oysters and crabs and there are snakes living in here and all sort of birds, so they'd go as well. Snakes. Thanks for telling me! As the fruit bats leave these floating forests, I marvel at the extraordinary and complex evolutionary forces that have made these island habitats so utterly bewitching. Next morning, the Rinca dragons are blithely unaware of Deni and the rangers' plan. The idea is to trap some of the dragons and tag them with a radio collar so their movements can be tracked over the islands. By doing this, they will have for the first time an accurate census, which will be vital in monitoring their survival. But snagging a drooling, venomous lizard is no easy matter... Or is it? So have we got one? We've got one, it's pretty big. Wow, that's a big trap. Oh, there he is. Gosh, he's a big one. Good grief. So what's the plan then, what do we do? We will try to measure them, we will tie them up and then... So you kind of hog-tie them and then attach some device... A GPS device? Radio telemetry. Right, radio telemetry. Shall we try? You can try. You can feel it, can't you? It's being hog-tied. It's like a chicken when you... Measurement's beginning now. Head width 14.5. Follow the line of the tail. Two and 2/3 metres - wow! What's the next stage? The next stage is to attach the transmitter. We'll see, it's probably thick enough. That's working. So this is fine tune. OK, keep the leg like this, even though it's already released. It's a tough animal. And then we release them in the three count like that. One, two, three and then everybody just go! Right, OK, ready. Wait a second, we've just got rope on the... Just undoing the tape around the... Just undoing the tape on the snout. Got it. Unwind. OK. I count one, two, three. So we can start to track them. You don't really need the radio ID when you can see it, but nonetheless. No, we're checking it's working! No, I know, exactly. RADIO BEEPS All good, yeah, great. Well, he looks none the worse for wear, does he? No, he's still interested in staying around here, I thought he'd want to vamoose. They look so lethargic, and you do have to remember they can whip around in a split second. Oh, my goodness, we're sort of surrounded, aren't we? Yeah, there's that one we've just released. One, two... Another one there. This might be an appropriate moment to adjourn our little dragon meeting. What do you think? Another way of putting it is shall we get the arse out of here? 'We sneak off the island to the safety of our boat and leave 'Deni and the rangers to continue their work. 'Deni estimates that the dragon population has remained 'pretty level over the past 20 years but, worryingly, some 'estimates suggest there may be very few breeding females. 'However, the Komodos have a little trick up their tail.' What's interesting is, if this was a female and she was out at sea and got washed by currents or riptides or something and landed on another island, she could actually develop eggs and give birth to young Komodo dragons without a male being anywhere near. They don't have to have the eggs fertilised, it's called parthenogenesis. Virgin birth in Greek. So they could in theory colonise another island with just one female. For the foreseeable future, the Komodos shouldn't need to use their virgin birthing. The creation of the National Park has certainly protected them and their habitat and in the process all the other species, especially those denizens that straddle thesea and land they have also been helped. Barring some catastrophe - be it fire, flood or plague - with vigilant monitoring, the dragons should survive for years to come in their own small corner of this beautiful archipelago. 'Never let it be said that I'm less than willing to seek out endangered 'species, but when Mark said that he wanted me to travel with him 'to the other side of the world in search of a fat, flightless parrot, 'I knew I was with a man pursuing a very personal and peculiar passion.' Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd SAM: When I told Dad I was scared of the thing, he gave me a .45. DEAN: What was he supposed to do? -I was 9 years old. SAM: The weapon training? And melting the silver into bullets? Man, Dean, we were raised like warriors. Lock the doors, the windows, close the shades. -Most important-- -Watch out for Sammy. [GROWLS] I don't understand the blind faith you have in the man. -It's called being a good son. -Dad's gonna be here, right? He'll be here, promise. -Where is he, anyway? -On business. -That's why you ran away. -I was going to college. It was Dad who said if I was gonna go, I should stay gone. Your brother and me, we needed you. You walked away, Sam. -You walked away. DEAN: Stop it. You're the one who said don't come back. You closed that door, not me! This isn't the life I wanted for you. [SCREAMING] I'm sure Dad would have been here if he could. [SNIFFS] She's such a slut. So? Personally, I'm very pro-slut. -What happened, anyway? -She banged Jamie Jaffe, that's what. She gave him the reverse cowgirl and everything. Hi, Taylor. How was your weekend? Fine, I guess. You didn't go to the rodeo? [STUDENTS CHUCKLE] That's my spot. Sorry. This is a skeev-free zone. STUDENTS [GIGGLING]: Ooh.... [COUGHING] Slut. Slut. CHEERLEADER: Bye. BOY: Bye. ALL [COUGHING]: Slut, slut slut, slut slut, slut slut, slut, slut slut, slut, slut... [BANGS TRAY ON TABLE] -You shouldn't listen to those jerks. -Leave me alone. I just mean- - I'm sorry, that's all. You? You're sorry? Don't you feel sorry for me, you fat, ugly pig. [FOOTSTEPS LEAVING] [STUDENTS MURMURING] [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] You think I'm ugly? Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean it, okay? [TAYLOR SCREAMS] [TAYLOR SCREAMING] [SCREAMS] I'm not ugly. [TAYLOR GASPING AND SCREAMING] [FLUSHING] You're ugly. I'm not talking about it anymore. I already told the cops and the doctors. No one believes me. They think I'm crazy. SAM: Well, I'm a little bit more open-minded than most. April, why did you tell the police you were possessed? It doesn't matter. It matters to me. When I-- When I hurt Taylor, I was there, in my head. But I couldn't control my body. I could see what I was doing. But I couldn't stop. I just wanted to stop. [SIGHING] I'm sorry. -You don't need to apologize. Some of the kids at school told the police... -...that you and Taylor didn't get along. -Yeah. But I never wanted to kill her. Never. Do you believe me? Yeah, I do. [SIGHS] A couple more questions. On the day this happened, did you happen to smell anything? Anything, like what? Like rotten eggs or sulfur? No. Okay, um.... Did you notice any black smoke? What, are you crazy? [SIGHS] [SIGHS] So? I think she's telling the truth. The way she talked about being there mentally but not physically. Kind of sounds like demonic possession to me. -Kind of? -She didn't see any black smoke. Or smell sulfur. Maybe she's not a demon. Kids can be vicious. Well, I mean, we're already here, might as well check out the school. Right. The school. -What? -Truman High, home of the Bombers. -What's your point? -I don't know. We went there for a month, a million years ago. -Why you so jazzed to go back? -I just think it's worth looking into. All right, what's our cover? FBI, Homeland Security? -Swedish exchange students? SAM: Don't worry. I got an idea. Okay. [CAR ENGINE REVS] DEAN: Thanks, Dad. Got your lunch? -Books? Butterfly knife? -Yeah, Dean. -You okay? -Sure. Sammy? I mean, look, this is the third school we've been to and it's only November. -I'm just sick of being the new kid. DEAN: You'll be fine. If anyone gives you any trouble, you let me know. [SCOFFS] Relax, Dad said this hunt will take him two weeks, tops. As soon as he gets back, we're out of here. To another school. Awesome. [DEAN SIGHS] [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] Ladies and gentlemen, please say hello to Sam Winchester. ALL: Hi, Sam. Class, say hello to our new student, Dean Winchester. Dean, is there anything you'd like to tell us about yourself? Not really, sweetheart. STUDENTS: Ha-ha-ha. -Take your seat. Is there anything you'd like to tell us about yourself? Not really. Okay. Uh, grab a seat. BARRY: Whoa. That's yours? Awesome. Dean? Where are your books? Don't need them, sugar. Not gonna be here long enough anyway. [STUDENTS MURMURING AND CHUCKLING] All right, gang essay assignments. [CLASS GROANS] Yeah, yeah, my heart breaks for you. [WHISPERS] Hey. -I'm Barry. WYATT: Now, I want three pages... -Sam. -...on your memorable family experience. WYATT: Just a reminder, though, this is going to be worth half your final grade. Leave him alone. WYATT: Don't screw it up. -Shh, I'm going for a record. WYATT: Um, what you write about.... I said leave him alone. WYATT: --than how you write about it. I wanna know how-- You wanna take his place, midget? WYATT: I'm looking for the brutal, funny... -Yeah. Sure. -...maybe even the painful truth. WYATT: Okay, everybody, if you have any questions? All right, let's get started. Good luck. [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] [STUDENTS CHATTERING] [WHISTLE BLOWS] Today, you will have the honor of playing one of the greatest games ever invented. A game of skill, agility, cunning. A game with one simple rule. Dodge. [BOY MOANS AND GASPS] Sorry. -Uh, substitute coach Roth. DEAN: Yes. Miss Boudreaux never let us play dodge ball. Well, Miss B's in Massachusetts getting married, so we're playing. She says it's dangerous-- [BLOWING WHISTLE] -Take a lap. -But-- [DOOR CLOSES] Go nuts. [STUDENTS CHATTERING] Having fun? The whistle makes me their god. Right. Nice shorts. Find anything? Been over the entire school twice, no sulfur. No sulfur, no demon. No demon, no case. -I don't know, maybe I was wrong. -It happens to the best of us. We hit the road, huh? But after lunch, it's, uh, sloppy-joe day. [BOY SCREAMS] [GROANING] Good hustle, Colby. Walk it off. [WHIRRING] TEACHER: Always make sure that your cover is securely fastened, Jamie. Hey, I need to copy your Algebra homework again. TEACHER: Good. Step two. Hey. TEACHER: Okay, now, my darlings... -Why? -...that's enough. Because you're a stupid, brain-dead dick? [WHIRRING] I'm gonna shove my fist down your throat, little freak. -That fist? -Yeah. [SCREAMING] JOCK [YELLING]: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. [STUDENTS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] BOY: Oh, man. What happened? [EMF METER HUMMING] [TURNS METER OFF] How's the non-violence assembly going? Shoving a kid's arm into a Cuisinart is not a "healthy display of anger." The kid had ectoplasm leaking out his ear? Which only comes from a pissed-off spirit. It's gotta be ghost possession. -That's pretty rare. -Yeah, but it happens. They get angry enough, they could take control of a person's body. So, what, we got a ghost in the building? Yeah, but where? I mean, there's no EMF. Maybe we could find out who it is. Check and see if somebody died around here. Way ahead of you. I had to break into the principal's office to get this. Oh, and FYI, three of the cheerleaders are legal. -Guess which ones. -No. Ahem, there was one death on campus. It was a suicide back in '98. Some kid named Barry Cook. What? [SIGHING] I knew him. How'd he die? He slit his wrists in the first-floor girls' bathroom. -That's where-- -Where the chick got swirlied to death. So, what, this ghost is possessing nerds? And using them to go after bullies, yeah. Well, does that sound like Barry's M.O.? Barry had a hard time. [STUDENTS CHATTERING] JOCK: Oops. [GIGGLING] Thanks, Sam. Great school. I don't care. Three years and I'm out of here. Going to Michigan State. They got the best vet program in the country. You like animals? They're a lot nicer than people. So tonight, I'm thinking you, me, a bucket of popcorn, extra butter. Hmm, kinky. [GIGGLES] And the midnight screening of I Spit on Your Grave at the Cinedome. AMANDA: Unh. I can't. I have a curfew at 11. So? So if I break it, my folks will ground me for a month. Yeah, parents. Terrifying. Mm-hm, when's your curfew? I don't have one. [CHUCKLES] Your parents just let you stay out all night, don't they? My dad's out of town on a job. It's just me and my brother. Hmm, for how long? Couple of weeks. [CHUCKLES] Seriously? Yeah, we've got a pretty sweet setup at the Pines. Unh. -The motel? -Mm-hm. HBO, Magic Fingers, free ice, it's great. Yeah. I guess. I do whatever I want, whenever I want. It's perfect. Yeah but don't you miss your dad? Yo, Sammy. That's your brother with Amanda Heckerling? -He's cool. -Yeah. He thinks so. DIRK: Hey, tough guy. I've been looking for you. Still wanna take Barry's place? -Get out of here, Barry. -I'll go get a teacher. -Wanna go? -I'm not gonna fight you, Dirk. Why not? Chicken? -Come on. -No. [STUDENTS GASP] Get up. Get up. Come on, get up. Get back. Get back. That is enough. WYATT: Dirk? Dirk, stop. BOY: You suck, Winchester. WYATT: Dirk, stop right there. [FIRE ROARS] So long, Barry Cook. You all right? Barry was my friend. And I just burned his bones. Well, he's at peace now, Sam. If Dad had let us stay just a little longer maybe I could have helped the kid, you know? You read the coroner's report same as me. Barry was on every anxiety drug and antidepressant known to man. School was hell for that kid. His parents had split up. He just wanted out. It's tragic, but it's not your fault. To tell you the truth, I'm glad we got out of that town. I hated that school. It wasn't all bad. Heh, how can you say that after what happened to you? [STUDENTS YELLING] DEAN: That kid's dead. -Dean-- I'm gonna rip his lungs out! -It's not a big deal. -Not a big deal? Look at yourself. -If Dad was here-- -He's not. I am. And as soon as I'm finished with that dick-- Just shut up, okay? -I don't need your help. -That's right, you don't. You could have torn him apart. So why didn't you? Because I don't wanna be the freak for once, Dean. I wanna be normal. So taking a beating, that's normal? Any word from Dad? [CELL PHONE BEEPS] He called this morning. He said he's going to be another week, at least. We weren't supposed to be here this long. At least you've got Amanda. She's cool. Dude, she wants me to meet her parents. I don't do parents. [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] [STUDENTS CHATTERING] Mr. Winchester, can I talk to you? Um, I'll wait for you outside. Look, if this is about the fight, I didn't start it. Oh, no, it's not about the fight, Sam. You know this assignment was nonfiction, right? Yes, Mr. Wyatt. So you and your family killed a werewolf last summer, huh? Why would you write something like this, Sam? It doesn't matter. As soon as my dad gets back, we're leaving. -So you can flunk me if you want to. -I'm not flunking you. I'm giving you an A. Aside from the werewolf is that really how you describe your family? Yeah. Well, your brother's quite a character. And your father, he seems, uh, driven. Anyway, it's good, Sam. It's really good. Have you ever thought about pursuing writing? I can't. I have to go into the family business. Family business? Yeah, my dad's a-- My dad's a mechanic. So I have to be a mechanic too. Do you wanna go into the family business, Sam? No one's ever asked me that before. Well? More than anything, no. You know I don't wanna, uh, overstep my bounds here but you don't have to do anything you don't wanna do. Look, I mean, I know what it's like. I come from a family of surgeons, and that wasn't me. So, you know, I traded in the money and prestige of being a doctor for all the glamour you see around you. The point is there are maybe three or four big choices that shape someone's whole life. And you need to be the one that makes them, not anyone else. You seem like a great kid, Sam. Just live the life you wanna live. We came back here so you could talk to the teacher? He's a good guy. Well, whatever. Go have your Robin Williams, "Oh, captain, my captain" moment. Just make it quick. [DOOR CLOSES] [EXHALES] [SIGHS] GIRL: Excuse me, sir? Can you tell me how to find room 305? Sure, um-- Down the hall, take your first right and it's the third door on the left. Thanks, Sam. [GRUNTS] You got tall, Winchester. [GROANS] [GRUNTING] [SPIRIT THUDS] [PANTING] [OBJECTS CLANKING] Trust me, this will help. [SIGHS] That ghost is dead. I'm gonna rip its lungs out! You know what I mean. It knew my name, Dean. My real name. We burned Barry's bones. -What the hell? -Well, maybe it wasn't Barry. Maybe we missed something. We just gotta go back. No way. How did we not see this before? -What? -Check it out. Martha Dumptruck, Revenge of the Nerds, Hello Kitty. -They all rode the same bus. -Okay, so maybe the bus is haunted. That would explain why there's no EMF at the school, but not the attacks. Ghosts are tied to the places that they haunt. They can't just bail. Unless this one can. There's lore about spirits possessing people, riding them. Whenever they leave the body, they're bungeed back to their usual haunt. But until then, the ghosts can go wherever they want. So a spook just grabs a kid on the bus and walks right into Truman? It's possible. Ghosts getting creative, well, that's super. [EMF METER WHINING] SAM: Definitely ain't clean. Here ghosty, ghosty, ghosty. -Come out, come out, wherever you are. -I don't get it. No one ever died on this bus. It's not like there's a body here. But a flap of skin, a hair-- Hell, a hangnail-- Something's gotta be tying the ghost to this place. We gotta find it. SAM: Yeah. Got a new driving permit, issued two weeks ago. [CLICKS OFF EMF METER] -Just before the first attack. -Yeah. Name of the bus driver is Dirk MacGregor Sr. 39 North Central Avenue. -MacGregor? -Yeah. What? I knew his son. You knew everybody at this school? [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] DIRK: Gotta watch where you're going. Leave him alone, Dirk. You never learn, do you, midget? Get to the bus, Barry. [STUDENTS MURMURING] What's the matter? Scared? Don't worry, I'll go easy on you this time. Come on, Losechester, let's see what you got. Come on, freak. Freak. [GRUNTING] [STUDENTS GASPING AND CHATTERING] [STUDENTS GASP] You're not tough. You're just a jerk. Dirk the Jerk. BOY 1: Hey, Dirk the Jerk. Yeah, that's pretty good. STUDENTS: Yeah, totally. Dirk the Jerk. BOY 2: Dirk the Jerk. BOY 3: Dirk the Jerk. STUDENTS [CHANTING] Dirk the Jerk, Dirk the Jerk Dirk the Jerk Dirk the Jerk Dirk the Jerk SENIOR: So you were friends with Dirk? SAM: Uh, yes, sir, in high school. SENIOR: I don't recall Dirk having many friends at Truman. Sit down. When did, uh- - When did Dirk pass? He was 18. What happened to him? Well, there was, uh-- First, drinking, then drugs. And then too many drugs and-- He just slipped through my fingers. It was my fault. I should have seen it coming, you know. Dirk, he, uh- - He had his troubles. What kind of troubles? School was never easy for Dirk. We didn't have much money and, well, you know, kids, they can be cruel. They picked on him. They picked on him? Mm-hm. They called him poor and dirty and stupid. They even had a nickname for him. Dirk the Jerk. -After what happened to his mother, he-- -His mother? Yeah, Jane, my wife. She died when Dirk was 13. Cancer. I was working three jobs, so it fell to Dirk to take care of her. And he was a great kid. He made sure Jane got her medicine. He helped her, cleaned up after her. But, you know, you watch somebody die, slow. Waste away to nothing. It does things to a person. Horrible things. I didn't know about his mother. He- - He wouldn't talk about her not even to me. Lot of anger in that boy. I'm sorry. We'd really like to pay our respects, Mr. MacGregor. Um, do you mind telling us where Dirk is buried? Oh, he wasn't. I had him cremated. All of him? Well, I kept a lock of his hair. Oh, that's- - That's nice. Where do you keep that? On my bus, in my Bible. Thanks for subbing tonight, Eddie. My pleasure, coach. Eddie, you wanna ease up on the pedal there? I got it all under control. [TIRES BURST] What the hell was that? [TIRES SQUEAL] Everyone okay? SAM: Dirk. [GUN CLICKS] Winchester. What are you gonna do, shoot me? Don't need to. That rope is soaked in salt water, Dirk. You're not going anywhere. Everybody stay where you are. You'll be okay. Aren't you the P.E. teacher? Not really. I'm like 21 Jump Street. [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] The bus driver sells pot. Yeah. It's not here! -Where is it? -No way you'll ever find it. SAM: Where is it? Sam Winchester, still a bully. You, you jocks. You popular kids, you always thought you were better than everybody else. And to you, I was just Dirk the Jerk, right? Now you evil sons of bitches are gonna get what's coming to you. I'm not evil, Dirk. I'm not. And neither were you. Trust me. I've seen real evil. We were scared and miserable and we took it out on each other. Us and everybody else. That's high school. But you suffer through that and it gets better. I'm just sorry you didn't get a chance to see that. You or Barry. Nothing is gonna get better for me. Not ever. [EDDIE GRUNTING] [GROANS] [STUDENTS CHATTERING] [GROANS] [GRUNTING] SAM: Dirk, no. Dean, find the hair. [SAM GRUNTING] Hey, buddy, this isn't what it looks like. [BLOWS LANDING] [SCREAMS] [GRUNTS] [SAM STRUGGLING AND GASPING] Little help. Unh. [CHOKES] He's giving you the full cowgirl. Yeah. [KNOCKING ON DOOR] Five more minutes, Jerry. [DOOR OPENS] Amanda, hey. Uh, Gettysburg Address, 1863, right? [SIGHS] History test next period, we're studying. Come on, baby, she means nothing to me. Don't be mad. I'm not mad, Dean. I thought maybe, underneath your whole I-could-give-a-crap-bad-boy thing that there was something more going on. I mean, like, the way you are with your brother. But I was wrong. You spend so much time trying to convince people that you're cool but it's just an act. We both know that you're just a sad, lonely little kid. And I feel sorry for you, Dean. You feel sorry for me, huh? Don't feel sorry for me. You don't know anything about me. I save lives. I'm a hero. A hero. What? What? GIRL 1: Good job. BOY 1: Hey, way to go, Sam. BOY 2: Good job, buddy. BOY 3: Yeah, nice job, Winchester. Winchester. BOY 4: Sam, great job with Dirk the Jerk, ha, ha. BOY 5: Nice, Sam. Yeah, you know it. BOY 6: Sam the man. GIRL 2: Hey, Sam, good job, man. GIRL 3: Good job, Sam. [CELL PHONE RINGS] Dad? Finally. I can't wait to get the hell out of here. This place sucks. [CAR HONKING] Come on, Sam. [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] Mr. Wyatt? Yes. You probably don't remember me, um-- But my name is Sam Winchester, and, uh I just wanted to thank you. -For? -I was a student here. And, uh, you gave me some advice once. Winchester. Right, right. Yeah, you, uh-- -You wrote that horror story. -Yeah, yeah, I did. Yeah, it's kind of all been one long horror story, unh. -What do you mean? -Nothing, sorry. So, what was this advice? I might need to plagiarize myself down the line. You told me I didn't have to go into the family business. You said I should make my own choices. Ah, so you managed to do your own thing, huh? Yeah, uh, for a while, yeah. And I think I went to college because of you. But, you know, people grow up. Yeah. Responsibilities and-- But still, um you took an interest in me when no one else did. That matters. So thank you. Well, you know, the only thing that really matters is, uh that you're happy. Are you happy, Sam? [ENGLISH SDH] When I told dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a .45. What was he supposed to do? I was 9 years old. The weapon training and melting the silver into bullets? Man, Dean, we were raised like warriors. Lock the doors and windows, close the shades. And most important Watch out for Sammy. I don't understand the blind faith you have in the man. It's called being a good son. Dad's gonna be here, right? He'll be here. Promise. - Where is he, anyway? - On business. - And that's why you ran away. - I was just going to college. It was dad who said if I was gonna go, I should stay gone. Your brother and me -- we needed you. You walked away, Sam. - You walked away! - Stop it, both of you. You're the one who said, "don't come back," dad. You're the one who closed that door, not me! This is never the life that I wanted for you. Look, I'm sure dad would have been here if he could. She's such a slut. So? Personally, I'm very pro-slut. What happened, anyway? She totally banged Jamie Jaffe, that's what. She gave him the reverse cowgirl and everything. Hi, Taylor. How was your weekend? Fine, I guess. You didn't... go to the rodeo? That's my spot. Sorry. This is a skeev-free zone. Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut! You shouldn't listen to those jerks. Leave me alone. I just mean... I'm sorry, that's all. You? You're sorry? Don't you feel sorry for me, you fat, ugly pig. You think I'm ugly? Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean it, okay? I'm not ugly. You're ugly. I'm not talking about it anymore. I already told the cops and the doctors. No one believes me. They think I'm crazy. Well, I'm a little bit more open-minded than most. April, why did you tell the police you were possessed? It doesn't matter. It matters to me. When I -- When I hurt Taylor, I was there, in my head, but I couldn't control my body. I could see what I was doing, but I couldn't stop. I just wanted to stop. I'm sorry. You don't need to apologize. April, some of the kids at school told the police that you and Taylor didn't get along. Well, yeah, but I never wanted to kill her. Never. Do you believe me? Yeah, I do. Just a couple more questions. On the day this happened, did you... happen to smell anything? Anything... like what? Like rotten eggs or... sulphur? Um, no. Okay. Did you... notice any black smoke? What are you, crazy? So? I think she's telling the truth. I mean, the way she talked about being there mentally but not physically -- Kind of sounds like demonic possession to me. Kind of? She didn't see any black smoke or smell sulphur. Maybe it's not a demon. I mean, kids can be vicious. Well, I mean, we're already here. Might as well check out the school. Right. The school. What? Truman High, home of the bombers. What's your point? I don't know. I mean, we went there, like... for a month a million years ago. - Why are you so jazzed to go back? - I'm not. I just think it's worth looking into. All right, well, what's our cover? FBI? Homeland Security? Swedish exchange students? Don't worry. I got an idea. Okay. [ "Long, Long Way From Home" by Foreigner) ] Thanks, dad. Got your lunch? Books? Butterfly knife? Yeah, Dean. - You okay? - Sure. Sammy... I mean, look, this is the third school we've been to this year, and it's only November. I'm just sick of always being the new kid. You'll be fine. If anyone gives you any trouble, you let me know. Relax. Dad said this hunt will take him two weeks, tops. As soon as he gets back, we're out of here. To another school. Awesome. Ladies and gentlemen, please say hello to Sam Winchester. Hi, Sam. Class, say hello to our new student, Dean Winchester. Dean, is there anything you'd like to tell us about yourself? Not really, sweetheart. Take your seat. Is there anything you'd like to tell us about yourself? Not really. Okay. Uh, grab a seat. Whoa, that's yours? Awesome! Dean, where are your books? Don't need 'em, sugar. Not gonna be here long enough anyway. All right, gang. Essay assignment. Yeah, yeah, my heart breaks for you. Hey. I'm Barry. Sam. ...of your most memorable family experience. A reminder though. This is gonna be worth half of your final grade. Leave him alone. I'm going for a record. I said, "leave him alone." You want to take his place midget? Yeah. Sure. Ok, everybody, got any questions? All right, let's get started. Today, you will have the honor of playing one of the greatest games ever invented. A game of skill, agility, cunning. A game with one simple rule. Dodge. Sorry. Uh, substitute coach Roth. Yes? Ms. Boudreaux never let us play dodge ball. Well, Ms. B's in Massachusetts getting married, so we're playing. She says it's dangerous. Take a lap! But... Go nuts. Having fun? The whistle makes me their god. Right. Nice shorts. Find anything? I've been over the entire school twice. No sulphur. No sulphur, no demon. No demon, no case. I don't know. Maybe I was wrong. Well, it happens to the best of us. I say we hit the road, huh? But after lunch. It's sloppy-jo day. Good hustle, Colby! Walk it off! Hey, I need to copy of your algebra homework again. Hey! Why? 'Cause you're a stupid, brain-dead dick? I'm gonna shove my fist down your throat, you little freak. - That fist? - Yeah. What happened? How's the nonviolence assembly going? Apparently, shoving a kid's arm into a cuisine art is not a healthy display of anger. So, the kid had ectoplasm leaking out his ear? Which only comes from a seriously pissed-off spirit. It's got to be ghost possession. Yeah, but that's pretty rare. Yeah, but it happens. I mean, they get angry enough, they can take control of a person's body. All right, so, what, we got a ghost in the building? Yeah, but where? I mean, there's no EMF. Maybe we could find out who it is, at least. You know, check and see if somebody died bloody around here or something. Way ahead of you. I had to break into the principal's office to get this. Oh, and FYI, three of the cheerleaders are legal. Guess which ones. No. So, there was only one death on campus. It was a suicide back in '98. Some kid named Barry Cook. What? I knew him. How did he die? He slit his wrists in the first-floor girls' bathroom. That's where... Right where the chick got swirleyed to death. Exactly. So, what? This ghost is possessing nerds? And using them to go after bullies, yeah. Well, does that sound like Barry's M.O.? Barry had a hard time. - Thanks, Sam. - Great school. I don't care. Three years, and I'm out of here. I'm going to Michigan State. They got the best vet program in the country. You like animals? They're a lot nicer than people. So tonight I'm thinking you, me, a bucket of popcorn, extra butter. Mm, kinky. And the midnight screening of "I Spit On Your Grave" at the Cinedome. I can't. I have a curfew... at 11:00. So? So if I break it, my folks will ground me for a month. Yeah, parents. Terrifying. When's your curfew? I don't have one. Your parents just let you stay out all night, don't they? My dad's out of town on a job. It's just me and my brother. For how long? Couple of weeks. Seriously? Yeah, we got a pretty sweet setup at the Pines. The motel? HBO, magic fingers, free ice -- it's great. Yeah. I guess. What? I do whatever I want, whenever I want. It's perfect. Yeah, but... don't you miss your dad? Yo! Sammy! That's your brother with Amanda Heckerling? He's cool. Yeah. He thinks so. Hey, tough guy. I been looking for you. Still want to take Barry's place? - Get out of here, Barry. - I'll go get a teacher. You want to go? I'm not gonna fight you, Dirk. Why not? You chicken? Come on! No. Get up! Get up! - Come on! Get up! - Hey, get back! Get back. That is enough. So long, Barry Cook. You all right? Barry was my friend. I just burned his bones. Well, he's at peace now, Sam. I mean, if dad had let us stay just a little while longer, maybe I chould have helped the kid, you know? You read the coroner's report same as me. Barry was on every anxiety drug and antidepressant known to man. School was hell for that kid. His parents had split up. He just wanted out. It was tragic, but it's not your fault. To tell you the truth, I'm glad we got out of that town. I hated that school. It wasn't all bad. How can you say that after what happened to you? - That kid's dead. - Dean. I'm gonna rip his lungs out! - It's not a big deal. - Not a big deal? Sammy, look at yourself. If dad was here... He's not. Well, I am! And as soon I'm finished with that dick... Shut up, okay? ! I don't need your help. That's right, you don't. You could have torn him apart. So why didn't you? Because I don't want to be the freak for once, Dean. I want to be normal. So taking a beating -- that's normal? Any word from dad? He called this morning, said he's going to be another week at least. We weren't supposed to be here this long. At least you've got Amanda. She's cool. Dude, she wants me to meet her parents. I don't do parents. Mr. Winchester, can I talk to you? Um... I'll wait for you outside. Look, if this is about the fight, I didn't start it. Oh, no, it's not about the fight, Sam. You know this assignment was non-fiction, right? Yes, Mr. Wyatt. So you and your family killed a werewolf last summer, huh? Why would you write something like this, Sam? It doesn't matter. As soon as my dad gets back, we're leaving, so. You can flunk me if you want to. I'm not flunking you. I'm giving you an "A." Now, aside from the werewolf, is that really how you'd describe your family? Yeah Well, your brother is quite a character. And your father -- he seems, uh, driven. Anyway, it's good, Sam. It's really good. Have you ever thought about pursuing writing? I can't. I have to go into the family business. Family business? Yeah, my dad's a-- My dad's a mechanic. So I have to be a mechanic, too. Do you want to go in the family business, Sam? No one's ever asked me that before. Well? More than anything now. Well, I don't want to overstep my bounds here, but... you don't have to do anything you don't wanna do. Look, I mean, I know what it's like. I come from a family of surgeons, and that wasn't me. So, you know, I traded in the money and prestige of being a doctor for all the glamour you see around you. But the point is... there may be three or four big choices that shape someone's whole life, and you need to be the one that makes them. Not anyone else. You seem like a great kid, Sam. Just live the life you wanna live. We came back here so you could talk to a teacher? He's a good guy. Well, whatever. Go have your Robin Williams' "O captain, my captain" moment. Just make it quick. Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me how to find room 305? Sure. Um... head down the hall, take your first right, and it's the... third door on the left. Thanks, Sam. You got tall, Winchester. Trust me. This will help. That ghost is dead. I'm gonna rip its lungs out! Well, you know what I mean. It knew my name, Dean. My real name. We burned Barry's bones. What the hell? Well, maybe it wasn't Barry. Maybe we missed something. We just got to go back. No way. How did we not see this before? - What? - Check it out. Look, Martha Dumptruck, revenge of the nerds, and hello kitty -- they rode the same bus. Okay, so maybe the bus is haunted. Well, that would explain why there's no EMF at the school, but not the attacks. Ghosts are tied to the places that they haunt. They can't just bail. Unless this one can. Dean, there's lore about spirits possessing people and riding them for miles. Then whenever they leave the body, they're bungeed back to their usual haunt. But until then, the ghosts can go wherever they want. So a spook just grabs a kid on the bus and walks right into Truman? It's possible. Ghosts getting creative -- well, that's super. Definitely ain't clean. Here, ghosty, ghosty, ghosty! Come out, come out, wherever you are! Man, I don't get it. No one ever died on this bus, and it's not like there's a body hidden in here. Yeah, but a flap of skin, a hair. I mean, hell, a hangnail. Something's got to be tying the ghost to this place. We just got to find it. Yeah. Got a new driving permit. Issued two weeks ago. - Just before the first attack. - Yeah. Name of the bus driver is Dirk McGregor sr. 39 North Central Avenue. - McGregor? - Yeah. Why? I knew his son. Did you know everybody at this school? Got to watch where you're going, man. Leave him alone, Dirk. You never learn, do you, midget? Get to the bus, Barry. What's the matter? You scared? Don't worry. I'll go easy on you this time. Come on, Lose-Chester. Let's see what you got. Come on, freak! Freak! You're not tough. You're just a jerk. "Dirk the jerk." "Dirk the jerk." Yeah, that's pretty good. Dirk the jerk. So, you were friends with Dirk? Yes, sir, in high school. I don't recall Dirk having many friends at Truman. Here, sit. Sit down. When did, uh -- when did Dirk pass? He was 18. What happened to him? Well, there was, first, drinking, then drugs, and then too many drugs. And then he just slipped through my fingers. It was my fault. I should have seen it coming, you know? Dirk, he, uh -- well, he had his troubles. What kind of troubles? School was never easy for Dirk. We didn't have much money, and... well, you know, kids -- They can be cruel. They picked on him. They picked on him? They called him poor and dirty and stupid. They even had a nickname for him. Dirk the jerk. And after what happened to his mother, he... His mother? Yeah, Jane, my wife. She died when Dirk was 13. Cancer. I was working three jobs, so it fell to Dirk to take care of her. And he was a great kid. He made sure Jane got her medicine. He helped her, cleaned up after her. But, you know, you -- you watch somebody die slow, waste away to nothing... it does things to a person. Horrible things. I didn't know about his mother. He... he wouldn't talk about her. Not even to me. Lot of anger in that boy. I'm sorry. Well, we'd really like to pay our respects, Mr. McGregor. Um, you mind telling us where Dirk is buried? Oh, he wasn't. I had him cremated. All of him? Well, I kept a lock of his hair. Oh, that's... That's nice. Where do you keep that? On my bus, in my bible. Thanks for subbing tonight, Eddie. My pleasure, coach. Eddie, you want to ease up on the pedal there? I got it all under control. What the hell was that? Everyone okay? Dirk! Winchester. What are you gonna do, shoot me? Don't need to. That rope is soaked in salt water, Dirk. You're not going anywhere. All right, everybody stay where you are. You'll be okay. Aren't you the P.E. teacher? Not really. I'm like "21 Jump Street." The bus driver sells pot. Yeah. It's not here! Where is it? No way you'll ever find it. Where is it? ! Sam Winchester. Still a bully. You, you jocks. You popular kids. you always thought you were better than everybody else. And to you, I was just Dirk the jerk, right? Now you evil sons of bitches are gonna get what's coming to you. I'm not evil, Dirk. I'm not. And neither were you. Trust me. I've seen real evil. We were scared and miserable, and we took it out on each other. Us and everybody else. That's high school. But you suffer through that, and it gets better. I'm just sorry you didn't get a chance to see that. You over, Barry. Nothing is gonna get better for me. Not ever. Dean! Find the hair! Hey, buddy, this isn't what it looks like Little help? He's giving you the full cowgirl. Five more minutes, Jerry. Amanda, hey! Gettysburg Address, 1863, right? History test next period. We're studying. Come on, baby. She means nothing to me. Don't be mad. I'm not mad, Dean. I thought maybe... underneath your whole "I could give a crap," bad-boy thing, that there was something more going on. I mean, like the way you are with your brother. But I was wrong. And you spend so much time trying to convince people that you're cool, but it's just an act. We both know that you're just a sad... lonely little kid. And I feel sorry for you, Dean. You feel sorry for me, huh? Don't feel sorry for me. You don't know anything about me. I save lives. I'm a hero. A hero! What? Way to go, Sam. Good job, buddy. Damn, nice job, Winchester. Sam! Great job! - Nice, Sam. - Sam the man. Hey, Sam, good job, man. Dad? Finally. I can't wait to get the hell out of here. This place sucks. Come on, Sam. Mr. Wyatt? Yes. You probably don't remember me. But my name is Sam Winchester, and... I just wanted to thank you. For? I was a student here, and you gave me some advice once. Winchester, right. Right. Yeah. You, uh -- You wrote that horror story. Yeah. Yeah, I did. Yeah, it's kind of all been one long horror story. What do you mean? Nothing. Sorry. So, what was this advice? I might need to plagiarize myself down the line. You told me that I didn't have to go into the family business. You said I should make my own choices. So you've managed to do your own thing, then, huh? Yeah, for a while, yeah. And I think I went to college because of you. But, you know, people grow up. Yeah. Responsibilities. But still, um... you took an interest in me when no one else did. That matters, so... thank you. Well, you know, the only thing that really matters is uh... that you're happy. Are you happy, Sam? - (SIGHS) Well, got another one. - Oh, boy. What's in the box? (EX CLAIMING) What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box? Right? (LAUGHS) Brad Pitt? Se7 en? Nothing? Yeah, I'm the jerk. What's in the box? Well, ever since Marshall and Lily got their own place, his mom keeps sending them boxes of his old stuff she's trying to get rid of. (LAUGHS) Thanks, Mom. You really nailed it this time. I really needed He-Man's right arm, and this old book of mad libs. (MARSHALL CHUCKLES) - "Fart went to the fart to fart fartly." - (BOTH LAUGHING) That's nice. (LAUGHS) That's good stuff. - That's good. - Thanks, Mom. (CELL PHONE RINGING) - Hello. - Hello? Ted Mosby? Yeah. The window is open. The what? The window is open. The window is open. What are you waiting for? Run, Ted, run! Lily, the window is open. Make a hole, people. Run, Ted, run! Sorry. (TED PANTING) - Ted? - Hey. - (CHUCKLING) Hey. - Maggie. I was just, you know... - How are you? - I'm fine, I guess. Actually, no, I'm not fine. I just broke up with my boyfriend. (EX CLAIMING) - I'm so sorry to hear that. - No, it's... - Do you want to hang out tonight? - Sure. - It was so fun. You guys liked it. - It was the most... - Please tell me you got in the window. - I got in the window. (ALL CHEERING) What is going on? What is the window? You know how everyone has that guy or girl who, no matter what happens, you always remember them being the perfect one for you? - Mike Scharz. - Lily. That girl right over there. Well, that girl for me was and still is Maggie Wilks. We all went to college together. She was awesome. Everybody loved her. I think I know what we're dealing with here. Tell me when to stop. It wasn't that Maggie was hot. She was... She was the ultimate girl next door. She was the ultimate girl next door. Still is. I mean, every guy who meets Maggie falls madly in love with her. And that's the problem. Since I've known her, she's only been single for, like, three brief windows of opportunity. TED: When she moved here and broke up with her college boyfriend, I waited a month. You know, so I wouldn't be the rebound guy. Well, the rebound guy lasted two years. This is Dave. TED: After they broke up, I only waited a week. I was still too late. She dated that guy for three years. The next time, I wasn't messing around. I was at her door not one hour after they broke up. The only thing she did between becoming single and the moment I got there, was go downstairs and check her mail. I was still too late. And she dated that guy for four years. I wasn't going to let this happen again, so I begged her neighbor, Mrs. Douglas, to call me the second she and David broke up. And now, a very single and available Maggie Wilks is on her way to this very spot. I sent a cab with a female driver so she'd have no other interaction with a man until she got to me. Where she will still have no interaction with a man. What up? I feel good tonight. Tonight's going to be good. Oh, hell, yeah! It's my overalls. I wore these babies all throughout high school. These were my jam. God, you really were a virgin before you met Lily, weren't you? (LILY CHUCKLING) - Well, that's unnecessary. - Oh, she's right, baby. If you had worn these things in college, even I wouldn't have slept with you. And, if you recall, I was good to go. (BARNEY LAUGHS) No one, I mean, no one could get laid wearing these. (BARNEY LAUGHING) Challenge accepted. I, Barney Stinson, being of sound mind and amazing body, will wear these overalls until I have sex with a woman. - I actually dated that guy. - Yeah. - (LILY SIGHS) - Okay. Quick game plan. Maggie shows up, couple minutes of hugs and "Hi" s and then everybody's out of here. This is my one shot. I am not gonna screw this up. Who'd you get to cover your class tonight? - Crap! - Oh, my God! - Hey. - (LAUGHS) Hey. Oh, my goodness. - Hey, stranger. - Hey. - Maggie, this is my roommate, Robin. - Hey. - (GIGGLING) Hey. Nice to meet you. - (GIGGLING) Nice to meet you, too. Um, I totally forgot I have to teach a class tonight. Hey! Wanna come with me and check out a real live architecture class? (EX CLAIMS) Not even a little bit. You know, I'll just hang here with Marshall and Lily. - It'll be fun. - Fantastic. - Okay. - Well, have a seat. Relax. Yeah, this is casual. This is all very, very, very casual. Listen to me. You want me to find the perfect girl so we can all grow old together? That is her. Do not let any guy near her, okay? That means no waiter takes her order, no busboy clears her table. If she bursts into flames, I want a fire woman putting her out. I don't think 911 takes requests. Damn it, Marshall! Whatever you have to do, keep Maggie Wilks single until I get back. I left my tab open. Don't abuse it. - Target secure? - Target secure. - Oh, my gosh. How weird. - (MAGGIE LAUGHS) We all walked out of the bathroom at the same time. Well, let's all walk back to the booth together. (WOMEN CHUCKLING) (CLEARS THROAT) Oh, my. Look at this, the table where we are sitting. Back off! Okay, um, not that I care about this challenge, but it's cheating to wear overalls over a suit. No, it's not. They're not called "over-T-shirts," Robin. They're not called " over shirtless fat guys who used to come fix my mom's car "and then hang out with her upstairs for a little while." No. They're called overalls, okay? And I can wear them over whatever I want. (CLICKS TONGUE) Hey. Oh, he's not saying hello, he's just telling you what he feeds his horsies. (ROBIN GIGGLES) Oh, man, I can sit here and make you-Iook-like-a-farmer jokes all night. (CHUCKLES) Challenge accepted. Good evening. Tonight, we're gonna have a nice, quick class on bridges. There are six types of bridges. Beam, cantilever, arch, suspension, and two others. You got land on both sides, water in the middle. See you all next week. Hey, we get you for the whole hour. Oh, come on. I mean, who really wants to sit here and listen to me yap about bridges for an hour? Really? (LILY EX CLAIMS) I just thought about how awesome Ted is again. (LILY AND TED LAUGHING) This is a weird drinking game. Can I buy you a drink? (IN SOUTHERN ACCENT) He's got a big brown jug with three X's on it. What have I done? One very important thing to keep in mind when designing a bridge... Maggie? Oh, no. I mean, yes. Yes, when you are designing a bridge, always remember, "Make adjustments, "go get it energized." That's good advice for life, too. So, Professor Mosby, is this Maggie someone special? No. I... She's just this girl I've been into for a really long time, and, well, tonight could be the one chance I have to go out with her, so... - Is she a hottie? - Yes, Jamie. She's very attractive. And if we can just end class right now... - Betty? - Maggie may finally be available, but what about you, Professor Mosby? Are you ready for a serious relationship? Totally. I mean, I think so. Maybe. I don't know. What do you guys think? - Oh, my gosh. I totally forgot about this. - What is it? It's a homework assignment from when I was 15. Write a letter to your 30-year-old self with a list of goals you hope to achieve. (MAGGIE LAUGHING) Um... "Dear future me." - (INFORMER PLAYING) - First off, you'd better be driving either a kick-ass Camaro or The A-Team van. That's priority número uno. And by now your rat tail should hang down to your freaking knees. You can still slam dunk, obviously, and you've legally changed your name to "Vanilla Thunder." Your wife, let me break it down, blonde, six-feet tall, has an awesome rack and caters to your every need. - Sorry, babe. - That's okay. - You just described your mother. - Ew! - Keep going. - "You're still rocking..." You're still rocking the stone-washed overalls, because this look is working. Oh, and most importantly, you'd better be saving the world. If you became some lame corporate sellout, just throw yourself off a cliff, because you suck. And I licky boom-boom down. (INFORMER CONTINUES PLAYING) (WOMEN LAUGHING) Yeah, hilarious. - I became a lame corporate sellout. - (LILY SIGHS) I work for GNB, the most evil bank in the history of the world. Oh, come on, Vanilla Thunder, everyone's got to grow up and get a real job. Yeah, I remember back in college Maggie wanted to be a marine biologist by day and mentor inner-city kids by night. What did you really end up doing? Those things. Baby, where are you going? I just gotta... I gotta do something at work. It won't take long. What's up with Marshall? Oh, no. I think he's going to quit his job. I'm sorry, Maggie. I gotta go stop him. (INAUDIBLE) Ted, I had to leave the bar, but it's okay. I left Maggie with Robin. You left Maggie with Robin? Relax. I've got things under control. You don't understand the situation. This girl is like a super-powered man magnet. Oh, Teddy. I know a little something about man magnets. You see, your friend may be one of those magnets that can hold up a picture of your kids on the fridge, but I'm one of those magnets that can pick up cars in a junkyard. - Who's this? - Robin, this is Jim, a good friend of mine from work. Oh, well, hello there. (GIGGLES) - Nice to meet you. - Oh, boy. What does being "ready" even mean? I mean, I thought I was "ready" last year. I wound up getting left at the altar. I'll be honest, guys. I'm a little scared. Okay, Louis, then Betty. We're all scared, Professor Mosby. Doesn't being scared let you know you're on to something important? Yeah. I mean, if you're not scared, you're not taking a chance. And if you're not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing? Right? I think you're ready, bro. (STUDENTS AGREEING) (ALL LAUGHING) - Jim, you are so funny. - Funny? I think he's hilarious. In fact, I laughed so hard, I think I may have just peed my pants. I'd better take off. I'm going to the opening of that photography exhibit that they were talking about at work, - Les Chiens Erotiques. - (MAGGIE EX CLAIMS) - I have an extra ticket if you want to... - Me? I'd love to! All right, I gotta go. One last piece of advice. Make adjustments... STUDENTS: Go get it energized! (CELL PHONE RINGING) Hello? Ted, change of plans. You left her with Barney? Ted, will you take it easy? I'm your bro. You're an animal. And even though our bro-lationship has suffered its setbacks in this area, I assure you I will be the perfect gentleman. Oh. Thanks. By the way, I really like those overalls. You have 10 minutes to get down here or the window's closing. - 10 minutes? - Yeah. Because we're bros. OLDER TED: While I was racing through the streets of New York, trying to get back to the bar, your Aunt Robin was doing her best to keep Jim away from Maggie. (PEOPLE CHATTERING) Do you want to go back to the bar and see if Maggie's still there? (EX CLAIMS) No way! I love erotic dog photography. Did you see the one over there of the corgis doing it people style? (ROBIN LAUGHING) I'll get us a taxi. I just feel bad leaving Maggie all alone. No! Let's have a glass of wine first. (ROBIN SIGHING) (ROBIN EX CLAIMS) Oh, man. (ROBIN EX CLAIMING) Look how filthy I am. I am just a filthy, filthy girl who would totally go to second base with a guy as a favor to a friend. (ROBIN MOANING) You like that? (ROBIN MOANING) I'm going to call Maggie, see what she's doing. Oh, God! Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. Give it a rest, jeez! She's hanging out with Ted tonight. - Ted? What about David? - They broke up. Maggie's single? That doesn't sound familiar. Uh... Can I help wipe that off? Please? I hate Barney Stinson! WOMAN: Me, too! OLDER TED: Lily finally got to GNB, but the place was deserted. Hey, baby. I thought you came here to quit your job. I forgot about the hoop. Yeah. I thought if I could just do one thing in that letter, I wouldn't feel like such an old sellout, so I came out here to dunk. Did it make you feel better? I barely grazed the bottom of the net, and now my legs hurt so bad, I can't even fall down. (LAUGHING) Wow! How could you? Ted, I challenged myself to get laid wearing overalls. And if you stand in my way, then you're letting Barney win. And you don't want that. That smug son of a bitch will never let us hear the end of it. Oh, thank God. Maggie... Where do you think you're going? - To tell that girl I love her. - Get in line, bub. Yeah. I'm going to have sex with her, then he's going to tell her he's in love with her, and then you can do whatever you want. Do we agree on the order? Mister! You just missed out on the night of your life. (PANTING) The night of your life. I've been in love with her for five years. I've been in love with her for 12 years. I've been in these overalls for an hour and a half. Hey, maybe you can't dunk anymore, but you've achieved more in your 30 years than that 15-year-old dweeb could ever dream of. You put yourself through Columbia Law School. You had the sense to chop off that stupid rat tail. And you married a smoking-hot chick who looks nothing like your mother. I think that earns you an entire foot closer to dunking. There you go, Vanilla Thunder. Step back. (MARSHALL SCREAMING) Oh, baby. How about instead of dunking, we go up to your office, and you lie very still while I go bananas all over you? MARSHALL: Could we maybe instead just do it right here? Sure, baby. - She loves me! - But I chose her! Guys! Guys! Guys, we have to figure this out. We are dealing with a very small window of opportunity here. Guys, let me assure you, if you let me in there, that window's gonna open up again in, like, 10 minutes. - Wait, where's Maggie? - She's gone. - What? - I sent her home. You guys were like vultures fighting over her. Let her be single for once. - Jealous bitch! - Robin, how could you? No, she's right. Maggie deserves some time to herself. Nobody likes to be alone, especially after a breakup, but that's when we discover who we really are and what we really want. She deserves that. OLDER TED: And kids, I meant that. Which is why I'm not proud of what happened next. It's around the corner. (KNOCKING AT DOOR) (MEN GROANING) Hey. Maggie, sorry. Class ran a little... - Who's this? - (CHUCKLES) This is Adam. And it's so crazy. We grew up next door to each other. God, we haven't seen each other since... - (LAUGHS) A long time. - (LAUGHS) Yeah. OLDER TED: And then Maggie Wilks told us the second-greatest love story I've ever heard. (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) I just moved to town and I had to look her up. (MAGGIE LAUGHS) I guess we've got a lot of catching up to do. Yeah. Yeah, of course. OLDER TED: So, kids, I missed out on the ultimate girl next door to the guy next door. Well, see you next time. OLDER TED: There was no "next time." Maggie's window never opened again. Hey! Hey, I got it! That country bar, Giddy-ups! The overalls have gotta work there. Wingman me? I don't want Giddy-ups. I want that. I forgot what it feels like to chase the real thing, but I think I'm ready again. Yeah. Let me tell you where I'm at. I wanna have sex with a girl so I can take off these overalls. Come on. Come on! Ted, you gotta help me! I gotta get these damn things off! MRS. DOUGLAS: Hey there. I just love your overalls. MARSHALL: Dear 60-year-old Marshall. By now you should be working somewhere that's making the world a better place. Or at least trying to. No pressure, dude. I mean, sir. Also, if time travel is possible, maybe you could give me a little sign on Tuesday, December 8th, at 8:29 p.m. So, someone sent back these chicken wings, because they were too hot. And I'm like, "Too hot? Are you crazy?" So, free wings. MARSHALL: Old man Marshall, as long as you're still married to Lily, you're doing just fine. Sir, this is on us. Sorry the wings were so hot. Oh, no, dear. It wasn't that they were too hot. It's just that I had wings earlier. Much earlier. ENGLISH - US - SDH Kids, back in 2009, your Aunt Robin was the host of a morning show for local New York cable. And it was on early. How early? Mike? wakey, wakey. But then, everything changed. Hey. Hey. See my show? Oh, I meant to watch it. I just got so busy with the whole "being sound asleep" thing. It took all night, eight hours down the drain. Oh, it's fine. But get this: After the broadcast... Hi. Are you Robin? Yeah. I'm Don, your new co-host. Don was Don Frank, seasoned veteran of no fewer than 39 local morning news teams from all over the country. The guy was an industry legend. Oh. Wow! You are so going to hit that. No, I just think we're going to be great together on the air. And on the sofa and on the bed and on the coffee table. All right, all right. I'm gonna go up on the roof and stand there by myself for five minutes. Have fun. And that's exactly what she did. She just stood there. All right, kids, I'm gonna level with you. That's not what she did. Here's what she did. All right, all right. I'm going to go have a cigarette. BOTH: What? ! NARRATOR: I promised her I'd never tell you this, but once upon a time, your Aunt Robin did enjoy the occasional cigarette, and occasionally that occasional cigarette... was more than just occasional. I just left something like this in my apartment. Robin, come on, take it to the roof. We said no smoking in the apartment after you torched the throw rug doing push-ups. All right, all right, all right. Geez. Yeah, Robin, I mean, God, not only is that a filthy habit, but also, can I bum one? Sure. What? ! "How I Met Your Mother" - Sync By YesCool - Kids, your Uncle Marshall definitely doesn't want you to know this, but he also smoked off and on. It all started when he was 13, on a camping trip in Minnesota. Come on, Marshall, let's celebrate. It's summer vacation. Okay, but just one. This is my first and last cigarette ever. And that was the first of many, many "last cigarettes ever." That's it. I am done, I am out. Last... Cigarette ev-arrh! So, by that point, I'd heard it all before. Last cigarette ever. What are you doing? You haven't smoked in six months. Is this about the McRib? It's gone, dude, let it go. I'm worried about work, okay? They just hired a new head of the legal department, and he's going to be letting people go. So that's why you're worried? The new head of the legal department is Arthur Hobbes. As in "Artillery Arthur"? As in your former boss? Arthur Hobbes was the meanest boss Marshall or anyone else had ever had. The last time Marshall worked for him, it ended like this. I quit! Yikes. So does he hold it against you? Worse. I'm sorry, who are you? I'm, I'm Marshall Eriksen. Hmm. Um, we had a fairly intense screaming match. No. Wherein I suggested that you take your head and store it within yourself in a fashion that, while, while space-saving, might limit its exposure to, to sunshine. Well, that describes 95% of my employees and everyone in my family... except for my dog. : He's such a good boy. Well... I'll see you later, uh... Randall Wilkerson. Marshall Eriksen. Gary Dinkersfield, right. Great, he doesn't remember you. Not great. Arthur Hobbes hating Marshall-- that's no big deal. He hates everyone. It's the people he doesn't know that he cuts loose. He just fired What's-His-Face. He fired What's- His-Face, Ted, and What's-His-Face was invaluable. Look, I can understand you getting upset, but it's not worth killing yourself over. Yeah, wait till you get laid off, then kill yourself. Like What's-His-Face. Although I guess now it's more like Where's-His-Face. Look, it was just two cigarettes. Okay, I can handle two. As long as I don't have three within 24 hours, then I'm not going to get hooked again. What's Lily going to say when she finds out you smoked? Lily's not going to find out. I have a system. Ah, yes, Marshall's system. Hey, Lil. they find each other and reunite. I went there every day hoping I'd remember the title. But you know what? That scene's not actually from a movie. huh? Aren't you gonna get in trouble for hacking into corporate databases and school records? Little late to be worrying about that! We're trying to find Takizawa's graduation photo over here! Got it! No wonder we couldn't find him! Freakin' Juiz. She took everything related to Takizawa Akira on the net and changed it to Iinuma Akira! what's in No. 09's logs? There's nothing like that in his... It's gone! All evidence of Takizawa Akira's history is being erased! Even the Seleção logs! what? Then they've been erasing the logs when we weren't looking? Chill out. so I have my PC set up to save a copy of all the logs as they're created. master! you're making me blush. it's like a defense system and attack bot rolled into one! you ever seen anything like this? ! bring up Takkun's request details again. look here. use their image recognition system. Pants! Wha... Juiz! Iinuma Akira is going to completely replace Takizawa Akira. They're called "roving bugs". It's a technique used to remotely activate a phone's mic and eavesdrop on the owner. The FBI's been doing it for years. Did one of the Seleção do this? Dunno. Micchon? Any luck? Got it! It's from No. 01. "Request MPD to investigate Eden of the East. What? ! What does he want with Eden? Takizawa-kun? What's wrong? Thought I bailed on you? You had this poster in your other movie theater too. Somehow it seems like they're linked to my movie-related memories. What now? It'll take some time for your friends to wire money. I've got enough cash for us to take the Chinatown bus. You wanna wander around the city for a while? But- I think I might've lived around here when I was a kid. And I'm curious about that room... Maybe I can find some proof before my past disappears forever. didn't you say "it doesn't have a golden ring"? Did you mean... This is Juiz. Hey babe. Something really neat's about to happen. Do tell. The son of the hardline party's leader is the culprit behind the missile attacks. don't you think? But it wouldn't be enough to save this country. we'll need some significant casualties so that the entire world can rally to our aid. Juiz? Tsuji. Casualties are the missing piece of this puzzle. we live in an era where you can sue for spilling coffee on yourself. So you get your "sacrifice" ticket punched and hop on that famous last train. We can't have all those NEETs resting on their laurels go to waste. Let's put 'em outta their misery. Tsuji. It sends a chill up my spine. Hell yeah. The PM's son returns wearing an Air King shirt. Japan's headed straight towards militarism again and he'll have all of them seeing red. Iinuma Akira will be shaming the Japanese and everyone else. Tsuji. I pray you continue to act as a cutting-edge savior. But how will you get him to wear the shirt? I bet that's the "golden ring" you were talking about. I went and looked it up after you said that. Japanese merry-go-rounds never had them to begin with. but anything built up to the late 80s would still have it. the ride keeps going. Makes sense. I'd probably know that. Whiff. Over already? I'll watch from the bench. When did you-? maybe I spent the whole time watching movies... not the movie theater. stretching out to grab the golden ring. Look Mom! Maybe she used to watch me from right here. But she hated movies. The only one we saw together was Dumbo. Takizawa-kun! I'm fine! I wanna keep watching you. Target acquired. He's in front of the merry-go-round. Finally found them... How dare those jerks sneak off on a date... Is this... thanks to you I remembered that I once lived in New York. Get in! Are you the one who called me yesterday? Yes. Prime Minister Iinuma's wife requested I meet with you in secret. The Seleção aren't the only ones who don't like your request to become king. and she loathes you for it. Then why does she want you to bring him back? Mrs. Iinuma wants to hear it straight from his mouth. And I personally want to see what happens with you as king. What do we do? I already deleted the new search engine. Take the Eden of the East System down. That should at least buy us some time. How much would that help? It'd give us exactly 48 hours. More evidence of how incredible our Eden really was. Eden of the East 000 NEETs in Toyosu anymore. It's being used by people all over the country. We have no choice. Micchon? I switched over to the wireless LAN. Eden of the East. Hirasawa-san... users always complain about the system being down. Don't let it get to you. sweat and snot! Leave the snot out! what do we do now that we can't help Takkun? I have a suggestion! why don't we change our HQ's location? To where? I set up our room at the university as a fallback. The old Eden System is still in there. that settles it. What better place to save Vintage's butt. Agreed. It's from Saki! I'm heading to the airport now. Takizawa-kun is returning to Japan. What the heck? I'm afraid your journey ends here. Hey... What's this mean? No. 01's launching a missile? I need to know No. 01's target. launch the remaining missiles. Request accepted. Noblesse oblige. I pray that your plan to destroy and rebuild leaves you as our strongest savior. Now I'm gone? Juiz. Juiz? Did Mononobe-san manage to locate Juiz and launch missiles at her? my request is still being carried out too. Mononobe-san. Yuuki-kun? ! I thought the Supporter eliminated you! I destroyed my Noblesse phone and disappeared on purpose so I could get revenge on him. I have an urgent request. Yes? Move the third trailer to the front. Of course. Thank you. Request accepted. Noblesse oblige. I pray that tomorrow you continue to be a worthy savior. Juiz. Juiz... You were the best employee I ever worked with. No. 09. I can no longer be your guardian angel. No. 01 is making a bid to win the game. But I'm betting on you. Don't forget your promise. Promise? I pray that you'll be a compassionate king. Go. Help him in any way you can. Kuroha-san... I'm going back to Japan. Ato-san's not happy about it either. the political fallout will be huge. That's exactly why we need Iinuma-sensei's son as our scapegoat. I have faith that in the end you'll prevail. you're the man who launched 60 missiles at his own country. You have my word. I'll get rid of all the weaklings who have spent the last 66 years relying on other countries and other people to take care of things. Given your outstanding ability to gather information I'm sure you can make any idea a reality. just say the magic word. Hey. You selling? I don't know what you're talking about. Ok. That's cool. I'm just saying, you know, if you were selling, I could maybe do with a teenth. You're kidding, right? Dude, I so smell bacon. What? What are you talking about? Gee, I don't know. How about over there? That brown van. - That's yours, right? - What brown van? Parked all inconspicuous. It's a cop van. Another one right over there. "Duke City Flowers"? Come on! Can't you at least be original? Dude, I just want to get high. A flower van. You know what you should do is a garbage truck. Seriously. And I don't mean to disrespect, but if you put a bunch of cops in the back of a garbage truck, there's no way I'm seriously thinking that there's cops in the back of a garbage truck. It's a freebie, yo. Just think about it. Think about it, boys! All right. I'm hitting it. You dudes give up that easy? I'm not a cop. Then lift your shirt. Show me you're not wearing a wire. All right, you know what? Just to show you you're being an asshole. I'm blinded by white. Douchebag. Come on. I was joking. Come on. Don't walk away angry. Sit down. Come on. I mean, what are you complaing about? You got abs, man. Kinda. Whatever, dude. I'm not even sure I want to buy anymore. I think you turned me off to the whole thing. Come on. Don't be like that. I just need you to prove it, you know? Prove you're not a cop. How the hell am I supposed to do that? I don't know. I got it. Go over there and punch that dude right in the face. Which dude? - That dude? - Yeah. No way. He'd kick my ass. True that. This is so hard, you know? Yeah. I know. It's simple. If you ask a cop if he's a cop, he's, like, obligated to tell you. It's in the Constitution. Constitution of America? So go ahead and ask. - Are you a cop? - Not like that. Ask it, like, official. Are you a police officer? No. I am not a police officer. Okay, then. 175 for a teenth. The price is the price, yo. All right. There you go. Enjoy. Thanks, man. Albuquerque Police! You're under arrest! Get on the ground! Get on your stomach now! On your stomach, get on the ground! - Hold it, don't move! - Stay down! Breaking Bad 2x08 - Better call Saul I had a good job until my boss accused me of stealing. I'd better call Saul! I was out partying, minding my own business... You are under arrest. I'd better call Saul! Hi. I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do. And so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent. And that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque! I really need to get some furniture. I suggest you start with a bed. God, I wish we could smoke in here. - Well, you can't. - Yeah, I know. I know. I'm just saying. Don't think I can't smell that weed. You better seriously hope that airs out. My dad will keep your security deposit. He has a nose like a damn bloodhound. Yeah? Has he ever caught you? Yeah. Many times. Well, listen. Since I already lost my deposit and all, maybe we should light up. No, thanks. You sure? Well, is it cool if I burn one? Maybe you'll change your mind. Do what you want to do, I guess. Hey. What'd I say? Nothing. I just have to go, is all. What's this? My 18-month chip. I'm in recovery. And you know, pot is, like, stepping stones. Recovery? That's cool. Right on. I respect that. You know, I don't really burn much anymore. It's just a sometime thing. But no more, like, in the house. So, you want to go grab some some dinner? I could really go for some Chinese. No, I better hit it. We cool? Your satellite's on, by the way. That screen's bad-ass. I just think it's asking a lot. He knows it. He's done nothing but apologize. Is this going to be every weekend now? It's just the end of the quarter. You remember how that was. But I am earning double time. There's a bright side. So, when the laziest boy in the world wakes up, tell him he better wash those sneakers. And I said "Bye." And tell him to let them air dry this time. I don't want them banging the hell out of my dryer. What? What, you don't even get casual Saturday? No, it's just you... You look nice is all. It's work, Walt. Everybody's gonna be there. Ok. Maybe we'll order a pizza tonight? Ok. - Bye. - Bye. Hi. You've reached Walt, Skyler, and Walter Junior. Please leave a message, and we'll get back to you. Skyler? Are you there? I... don't know what to do. I need to talk to you. Hey, Marie. It's me. What's up? Yesterday I got home and found him. He didn't even tell me he was coming. - A man was killed? - A federale, right in front of him. Three agents wounded, one lost his leg. It's like what you hear about in Iraq or something. - The IEDs. - Jesus. I had to hear about it from Steve Gomez. Hank talked to his SAC for about an hour. Hank should win an Oscar. He's so damn breezy with the man. He hangs up the phone, goes right back to bed. And all he keeps saying is, "I'm fine. I'm fine. Leave me alone". Baby, not now. It's me, Hank. Sorry. Hey, buddy. What's up? I just... Do you mind if I...? No, no. So... How you doing? You know. Lousy. Montezuma's Revenge, big time. I mean, everything's going through me like crap through a tin horn. Better not get too close. I'll take my chances. I guess you heard about what happened down in Juárez? Terrible. What do you expect? Freakin' animals. Like "Apocalypse Now" down there. Like Colonel Kurtz holed up in his jungle. And my SAC in El Paso sends me home. Now, that's a sound leadership decision right there, huh? You don't put your second most senior man on the trail of those motherless bastards, you send him home. I was, you know, "He's out getting an evidence bag, and so ends up without a scratch on him. So must be something wrong with that picture". So are you home for good? No, no. Playing it by ear. "To be determined." Think you might want to - talk it through with somebody? - What? A shrink? No, no. I can't. Start going down that road, kiss your career goodbye. Or Marie. Or me, if you like. You know, I don't know how to say this. You know, the things I deal with, you and me don't have much of a... what you might call an experiential overlap. What if I told you we do? I have spent my whole life scared. Frightened of things that could happen, might happen, might not happen. 50 years I spent like that. Finding myself awake at 3 in the morning. But you know what? Ever since my diagnosis... I sleep just fine. Ok. And I came to realize it's that fear that's the worst of it. That's the real enemy. So... get up. Get out in the real world. And you kick that bastard as hard as you can right in the teeth. Do it again. Go on. $10,000 even. Same as last time. It's totally accurate. You and I, we are gonna feed this machine. - I want it running 24 hours a day. - Right on. Not yours, I take it. We got 10, 20, 30, 44, 45 each. 3 pounds should be 48 each. - Who's short? - Ok. Don't freak, all right? We didn't get ripped off. Badger hasn't kicked in his full amount. I know he's planning on pulling an all-nighter, so he's probably still in the sack. Then wake him up. He can sleep after we're paid. Why you gotta be such a hard on? You're not his pal. You're his boss. This only works when they're scared of you. Jack off. It's going straight to voicemail. Voicemail? Just chill, okay? Count your money. Combo, you seen Badger? Don't you cover for him! I ask you a straight-up question, I expect a straight-up answer! Well? They were too scared to tell me. Badger got busted. He's in jail. Honey, I'm home! Too slow! What's up? You've got more lives than a damn cat. Now if I can only learn to lick myself. What's up, guys? Good to see you. All right! Let's all go back to work, for Christ's sake! In my office, man. Let's see what you bozos have been up to lately. You okay? Hanging in? What's it look like? What's this from APD? I been checking with them to see if they come across that famous blue meth of yours. Sure enough, last night. Got themselves an honest-to-God dealer. I was thinking of cruising over and saying hello. Maybe you'd like to go with me. Well, all right. You told me to my face you weren't a cop, man. I feel manipulated. I thought we were gonna hang out. We are hanging out, Badger. You like Badger or Brandon? I like people who don't, like, abuse the Constitution. Badger, listen. I'm trying to help you here, man. If you just tell me who your supplier is, I think this can end very well for you. What are you doing talking to my client without me present? You Sneaky Pete! Which is which? What, did the Academy hire you right out of the womb? You guys get younger every... What'd you say to Baby-Face? Did you say anything stupid? By anything stupid, I mean anything at all. Look at you. Mouth open, vocal chords a-twitter. We'll talk about it later. Right now, you out. Ten minutes ago! Go on! There are laws, detective. Have your kindergarten teacher read 'em to you? Go grab a juice box. Have a nap. Go on. All right. Who do we have? - Brandon Mayhew. - Brandon Mayhew. All right. Brandon Mayhew. Here we go. Public masturbation. - What? - I don't get it. What's the kick? Why don't you do it at home, like the rest of us with a big flat-screen TV, 50 channels of pay-per-view? In a Starbucks. That's nice. That ain't me, man! I was the guy who was selling meth. Allegedly. Ok. All right. I got you. Meth. Right. Sorry, that was a little transpositional error. Nothing a little Wite-Out can't take care of. And a felony quantity. - Just barely. - Yeah, just barely. The cops around here are like butchers, always got their thumbs on the scales. But good luck arguing that in court. Let me get down to brass tacks. I'm going to get you a second phone call. You're gonna call your mommy or your daddy or your parish priest or your Boy Scout leader, and they're going to deliver me a check for $4,650. I'll write that down on the back of my business card. 4-6-5-0. Ok? And I need that in a cashier's check or a money order, doesn't matter. Actually, I want it in a money order. And make it out to Ice Station Zebra Associates. That's my loan-out. It's totally legit. It's done just for tax purposes. After that, we can discuss Visa or MasterCard, but definitely not American Express, so don't even ask. All right? Any questions? You're gonna get me off, right? I look like your high school girlfriend? Five fingers, no waiting? That's a joke, Brandon. Lighten up. Son, I promise you this. I will give you the best criminal defense that money can buy. Francesca, I took these already. Didn't I take these already? Ok. Look, it's on your head. You're not supposed to double up on Vitamin A. It's bad for the liver. Okay, who's next? Did him. I did him. That one went public defender. Thanks for nothing. What happened to my masturbator, Francesca? You got me all turned around. Hang on. I'll get back to you. Gentlemen, I sense you're discussing my client. Anything you care to share with me? Sure. Your commercials? They suck ass. I've seen better acting in an epileptic whorehouse. Is that like the one your mom works at? Is she still offering the two-for-one discount? DEA, huh? For a street bust. Now, what would two feds want with that little twerp? Sooner or later, this was gonna happen. You want your exponential growth, guys are gonna get busted. Simple as that. So how about we get him a real attorney? I mean, what the hell is this? This is who he hires? What? Are you kidding me? This is the guy you want. This is the guy I'd hire. - It's the guy you'd hire. - Look, you remember Emilio? This dude got Emilio off, like, twice. Both times, they had him dead to rights, yo. And then poof! Dude's like Houdini. Seriously, when the going gets tough, you don't want a criminal lawyer. All right? You want a "criminal" lawyer. Know what I'm saying? Look, we're in good shape, Mr. White. Badger's way too loyal to roll. Plus he's scared shitless of me. We pay four large. Cost of business. Take it out of his payroll. And it's only his first dealing rap, so worst case scenario? They plead him out, he does five months picking up litter in an orange jumpsuit. So who goes inside? I don't need them seeing my face. Well, I don't need them seeing my face. Why not? You look like his typical clientele. Dick. Fine. We'll flip for it. Call it. Heads. Mayhew? Mr. Mayhew? Mr. Mayhew. Nice of you to come down. Please. Look at you. Should I call the FBI and tell them I found DB Cooper? Joking. Please, come on. Come on. Please. Hello. Saul Goodman. Please sit. So it's a shame that we have to meet under these circumstances. I believe you have something for me? Yes. - Mayhew. Is that Irish or English? - Irish. Faith and begorrah! A fellow potato-eater. My real name's McGill. The Jew thing I just do for the homeboys. They all want a pipe-hittin' member of the tribe, so to speak. I digress. Good things are happening. Fact is, your nephew's gonna get out in no time. That's wonderful. There's still a few details to be ironed out, but now that the DEA is involved, I think he's looking at time served and probation. So leave your number with Francesca, and we'll be in touch. Excuse me, the DEA? Yeah. That's the Drug Enforcement Administration. The feds. I hope that I'm not the breaker of bad news, but your nephew got mixed up with some pretty nasty customers. I understand that. But what does that have to do with the DEA? They're after some mystery man, some heavy-hitter that goes by the name Heisenberg. They want this guy like the ax wants the turkey. Seems young Brandon may have information that could lead to his arrest. Jesus, cheer up! This is good news. I mean, Brandon fell head-first into the doo-doo pile and came up smelling like Paco Rabanne. Look, look. I think... I just think that we should - review our options. - Options? I'm gonna tell you what your options are. And you got a grand total of two. Option A, Brandon takes the deal. Option B, Brandon goes up to the penitentiary and gets his rectum resized about yay big. Look, look. What about... reprisals? I mean, if Badger... If Brandon... informs on this Heisenberg... I mean, what if... God forbid... that they decide to... - take revenge? - What have you been telling him? The kid keeps spouting off about "if I talk, they'll kill me". Right now, he's the only thing holding up this deal. - Good. - No, that's not good. That's terrible. Trust me, sir, your nephew won't last in prison two weeks. You let him take his chances on the outside. Maybe I can - work in some witness protection. - No, look, look. These are vicious, desperate people. I've been told that one of them killed another man by crushing his head with an ATM machine. People love to take credit for the fun ones. The guy who got his head smooshed used to be a client of mine. His wife killed him, all right? It was open and shut. Trust me, you folks have nothing to worry about, okay? I'm gonna set your nephew straight, get him singing like a canary... all's right with the world. $10,000. 10,000. Cash to you. I'm not saying to throw the case. Just... no talking to the DEA. Are you saying what I think you're saying? Yes. What's it going to be? What? That dude wouldn't take a bribe? That dude in there? Saul Goodman we're talking about? "Morally outraged", he said. Threatened to call the police. And Badger's gonna spill? Like the Exxon Valdez. So what do we do about it? Francesca, how about I follow you home? - No! - For safety! What? God, you are killing me with that booty. Talk to me, guys! Come on. Just tell me what you want! Jesus! No, no, no. No. It wasn't me! It was Ignacio! He's the one! Shut up! - Siempre soy amigo, siempre del cártel. - Shut up! Shut up! All right, just speak English. Lalo didn't send you? No Lalo? - Who? - Thank God! Christ. I thought.. What can I do for you, gentlemen? Anything! Just tell me - what you need. - This afternoon, an associate of ours offered you $10,000. You should have taken it! Wait a minute. This is in regards to what's-his-name? Badger! Brandon Mayhew. The uncle. That was your guy? No offense, guys, but I don't take bribes from strangers, you know? Better safe than sorry. That's my motto. - But I'll take your money! Sure! - No. That offer's expired, yo. It was kind of low anyways. But okay, okay, I'll take it. Just tell me what you need. All right? I'm easy. I'm going to keep a happy thought and assume this is just a negotiating tactic. All right, listen to me very carefully. You are going to give Badger Mayhew the best legal representation ever. But no deals with the DEA! All right? Badger will not identify anyone to anybody. If he does, you're dead! Why don't you just kill Badger? Follow me, guys, but if a mosquito's buzzing around you, it bites you on the ass, you don't go gunning for the mosquito's attorney. You go grab a flyswatter. I mean, so to speak. I mean, all due respect, do I have to spell this out for you? We're not killing Badger, yo! Then you got real problems. 'Cause the DEA is gonna come down on your boy like a proverbial ton of bricks. I mean. I don't think I'm going out on a limb here, but he's not gonna like prison. He's gonna sing like Céline Dion regardless of what you do to me. Mr. Mayhew? I recognize your cough. Take that mask off. Get some air. Go on. Take it easy! Breathe in, breathe out. I'm gonna stand up, all right? 'Cause I got bad knees. That's better. Ok. Now listen. The three of us are gonna work this out. Yeah? How? First things first, you're gonna put a dollar in my pocket, both of you. You want attorney-client privilege? So that everything you say is strictly between us. I mean it! Put a dollar in my pocket. Come on, make it official. Come on, do it! That's it. Come on. Just a dollar. All right, now you, ski bum. Come on. Give with the dollar. - Go on. - Be smart. What? - All I got's a 5. - I'll take a 5! Come on, already. Come on. Be cool. You're now both officially represented by Saul Goodman and Associates. Your secrets are safe with me under threat of disbarment, all right? Take the ski mask off. I feel like I'm talking to the Weather Underground. Just do it. So if a prison shanking is completely off the table... and we're sure of that? No shanking! All right, all right. Then the way I see it is somebody's going to prison. It's just a matter of who. All right. Lame-ass TV ads aside, your lawyer here, he cooked you up a pretty killer deal. Time served, no probation. He's pretty slick. Couldn't believe the judge went for it. Don't get cocky. You ain't home free yet. You don't give us the name of your supplier, you're going nowhere. Agent, the tough guy act is unnecessary. This young man is cooperating fully. Is that right? You cooperating? Let's start with a name. He just goes by Heisenberg. Heisenberg? How old is Heisenberg? Old. Like 50 or 70 or something. Height? Average, I guess. Medium height, medium weight. - What color hair? - No hair. Dude's balder than you. 1963. James Edward Kilkelly is convicted of stealing a vending machine. 1975. Breaking and entering. 1982. Grand theft auto. 1984. Armed robbery. 1987, 1992. You get the idea. And here he is today. Better known today as Jimmy In-'n-Out. City, State, and Federal. He's spent 44 of the last 58 years inside. An entire life behind bars. Jimmy provides a very special service. For a price, Jimmy will go to prison for you. On purpose? The guy goes to prison on purpose? He's actually more comfortable inside. The outside world hasn't been too kind to him. Sometime during the Clinton administration, Jimmy figured out how he could use his talents to turn a profit. So... - When does all this happen? - It's already happening. The buy is set for tomorrow. Cops bust Jimmy, Badger gets out, everybody's happy, and all it's gonna cost you is 80,000 and one pound of your finest meth. $80,000 for eight years of his life, huh? First of all, he's not gonna do eight years. I'm gonna represent him, and I guarantee there's gonna be some unexpected problems with the prosecution's case. Secondly, he gets 30. 50 goes to me. - You get 50? For what? - For facilitating. Who's taking a bigger risk? He likes prison. You did bring the cash, didn't you? Look, if this option is too expensive, you can still always... Badger in the chow line. Conscience gets expensive, doesn't it? All right. There's our boy. Right on time. - Go back. - What? All right. So... what do you think? Did they see us? No, man. I think we're good. Badger looks like he's gonna throw up. Give me those back. Just give them to me! No. Where the hell is Jimmy? He should have been here ten minutes ago. You think Jimmy's actually for real? A guy who wants to be in prison? There's more than one kind of prison. What the hell is that supposed to mean? There he is. Wait a minute. No, no. What? What? Let me see. - Who the hell is that? - I don't know. Mr. Heisenberg, I presume. Time to move? Not till we see the exchange. - No, no. - Shit. What? Now he shows. Okay, let's do this. My God. Jimmy's on the wrong bench. Crap! We are screwed! What are you doing? What are you doing? I don't get it. What's the holdup? Where's the stuff, man? - Where are we going? - Just shut up. Get out. Go stop him. The DEA is right there. If they see me, we're screwed. Get out. I'll do something. - What? - Go! Hank, I thought that was you! Schrader, I'm blocked. Not a good time. How you doing? Are you feeling okay? Schrader, I'm blocked. Listen. We're working. You gotta get out of here. You're working? You mean like... - DEA working? - Schrader! Is something going down? Wrong guy! Wrong guy! Other bench. Walt, Walt, Walter! - Move your ass now! - Okay. I'll go and leave you alone. - We'll talk about it later. - Just floor it! Floor it! - Should I backward of forward? - Forward, forward! - Forward is better? - Yes. - I'll be out of the way then? - Yes! Ok. I'm sorry. All right? I'm sorry. - I'll leave you alone. - We'll talk later. Just go. Where'd he go? Where the hell'd he go? Wait. Got him. Looks like it's going down. Take 'em! Freeze. Right there. Don't move! That's there. Let's go. Jesus. I think they bought it. Absolutely. Textbook bust, sir. Yes, sir. Looks like we got a full pound of the blue stuff. And Heisenberg's real name? James Kilkelly. Thank you very much. It was my pleasure. Hey. You weren't home, so I let the delivery guys in. I hope that's okay. Absolutely. So you bought a bed. Yes. What is that? A king? Pillow top? 40. NOT EVEN CLOSE. My God. You really are a Chemistry teacher. You mind? I was terrible at Chemistry. I'm more of a Humanities guy. How did you find me? We should talk about that. It should be much, much harder for people to track you down. My PI charged me for three hours, so I seriously doubt it took him more than one. So this is what, blackmail? Walter, I'm your lawyer. Anything you say to me is totally privileged. I'm not in the shake-down racket. I'm a lawyer. Even drug dealers need lawyers, right? Especially drug dealers. So what, you're just doing this out of the kindness of your heart? Come on. Have you seen my hourly rate? By the way, where do you keep the money? Is it in your mattress? Is it in a jelly jar, buried in the side yard? This kid Mayhew may be the first of your guys to get picked up, but he won't be the last. And if I can find you, how far behind can the cops be? I don't understand. What exactly are you offering to do for me? What did Tom Hagen do for Vito Corleone? I'm no Vito Corleone. No shit! Right now you're Fredo. But with some sound advice and the proper introduction, who knows? I'll tell you one thing. You've got the right product. Anything that gets the DEA's panties in this big of bunch, you are on to something special. And I would like to be a small and silent part of it. Full for thought, yeah? So, if you want to make more money and keep the money that you make, Better call Saul! Hey. You... You selling? I don't know what you're talking about. Okay. That's cool. I'm just saying, you know, if you were selling I could maybe do with a teenth. You're kidding, right? Dude, I so smell bacon. What? What are you talking about? Oh, gee, I don't know. How about over there. That brown van. That's yours, right? What brown van? Parked all inconspicuous. It's a cop van. Yeah, another one right over there. "Duke City Flowers"? Come on. Can't you at least be original? Dude, I just wanna get high. A flower van. You know what you should do is a garbage truck. Seriously, and I don't mean to disrespect but if you put cops in the back of a garbage truck there's no way I'm seriously thinking that there's cops in the back of a garbage truck. It's a freebie, yo. Just think about it. Think about it, boys. All right. I'm hitting it. You dudes give up that easy? I'm not a cop. Then lift your shirt. Show me you're not wearing a wire. All right, you know what? Just to show you you're being an asshole. I'm blinded by white. Douchebag. Come on. I was joking. Come on. Don't walk away angry. Sit down. Come on. I mean, what are you complaining about? You got abs, man. Kind of. Whatever, dude. I'm not even sure I wanna buy anymore. I think you turned me off to the whole thing. Come on. Don't be like that. I just need you to prove it, you know? Prove you're not a cop. How the hell am I supposed to do that? I don't know. Hey, I got it. Go over there and punch that dude right in the face. Which dude? - That dude? - Yeah. No way. He'd kick my ass. True that. - This is so hard, you know? - Yeah. I know. It's simple. If you ask a cop if he's a cop, he's, like, obligated to tell you. It's in the Constitution. Constitution of America? So go ahead and ask. - You a cop? - No, no. Not like that. Ask it, like, official. Are you a police officer? No, I am not a police officer. Okay, then. Hundred and seventy-five for a teenth. The price is the price, yo. All right. There you go. Enjoy. Thanks, man. Albuquerque Police! You're under arrest! Get on the ground! Get on your stomach now! On your stomach! Get on the ground! Hold it right there. Don't move. Stay down. I had a good job until my boss accused me of stealing. I'd better call Saul! I was out partying, minding my own business... - You are under arrest. - I'd better call Saul! Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do. And so do I. I believe that until proven guilty every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent. And that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque. Better call Saul. Saul Goodman, attorney at law, 505-1 64-CALL. That's 505-1 64-CALL. I really need to get some furniture. I suggest you start with a bed. God, I wish we could smoke in here. - Well, you can't. - Yeah, no. I know. I'm just saying. Don't think I can't smell that weed. You better seriously hope that airs out. My dad will keep your security deposit. He has a nose like a damn bloodhound. Yeah? Has he ever caught you? Yeah. Many times. Well, listen. Since I already lost my deposit and all maybe we should light up. No, thanks. You sure? Well, is it cool if I burn one? Maybe you'll change your mind. Do what you wanna do, I guess. Hey. What'd I say? Nothing. I just have to go is all. What's this? My 18-month chip. I'm in recovery. And, you know, pot is like stepping stones. Recovery? That's cool. Right on. I respect that. You know, I don't really burn much anymore. It's just a sometime thing. But no more, like, in the house. So you wanna go grab some dinner? I could really go for some Chinese. No, I better hit it. We... We cool? Your satellite is on, by the way. That screen is badass. I just think it's asking a lot. He knows it. He's done nothing but apologise. Is this gonna be every weekend now? No. It's just the end of the quarter. You remember how that was. But I am earning double time, so there's a bright side. So when the laziest boy in the world wakes up tell him he better wash those sneakers. And I said bye. And tell him to let them air-dry this time. I don't want him banging the hell out of my dryer. What? What, you don't even get casual Saturday? I mean... No, it's just you... You look nice is all. It's work, Walt. And everybody is gonna be there. - Okay. - Okay. Maybe we'll order a pizza tonight? Okay. - Bye. - Bye. Hi. You've reached Walt, Skyler and Walter, Jr. Please leave a message, and we'll get back to you. Skyler? Are you there? I don't know what to do. I... I need to talk to you. I... Hey, Marie. It's me. What's up? Yesterday I got home and found him. He didn't even tell me he was coming. - A man was killed? - A Federale, right in front of him. Three agents wounded, one lost his leg. It's like what you hear about from Iraq or something. - The IEDs. - Oh, Jesus. I had to hear about it from Steve Gomez. Hank talked to his ASAC for about an hour. Hank could win an Oscar. He's so damn breezy with the man. He hangs up the phone, goes right back to bed. And all he keeps saying is, "I'm fine. I'm fine. Leave me alone." Baby, not now. It's... It's me, Hank. Sorry. Hey, buddy. What's.? What's up? I just... Do you mind if I.? No. No. So... How you doing? Oh, you know, lousy. Montezuma's revenge, big time. I mean, everything's going through me like crap through a tinhorn. Better not get too close. Well, I'll take my chances. I guess you heard about what happened down in Juárez? Terrible. What do you expect? Bunch of freaking animals. It's like Apocalypse Now down there. It's like Colonel Kurtz holed up in his jungle. And my SAC in El Paso sends me home. Now, that's a sound leadership decision right there, huh? You know, you don't put your second most senior man on the trail of those motherless bastards you send him home. You know? I was, you know... "He's out getting an evidence bag and so ends up without a scratch on him. So must be something wrong with that picture, you know." So are you home for good then? No, no. It's... Playing it by ear. To be determined. Think you might wanna talk it through with somebody? What, a shrink? No, no, no. Can't go down that road. Start going down that road, kiss your career goodbye. Or Marie. Or me, if you like. You know, I don't know how to say this. I... You know, the things I deal with you and me don't have much of a... What you might call "an experiential overlap." What if I told you we do? I have spent my whole life scared. Frightened of things that could happen might happen, might not happen. Fifty years I spent like that. Finding myself awake at 3 in the morning. But you know what? Ever since my diagnosis I sleep just fine. Okay. And I came to realise it's that fear that's the worst of it. That's the real enemy. So... Get up. Get out in the real world. And you kick that bastard as hard as you can right in the teeth. Do it again. Go on. Ten thousand even, same as last time. It's totally accurate. You and I, we are gonna feed this machine. - I want it running 24 hours a day. - Right on. Not yours, I take it. We got 10, 20, 30 44, five each. Three pounds should be 48 each. Who's short? All right. Don't freak, all right? We didn't get ripped off. But Badger hasn't kicked in his full amount. I know he was planning on pulling an all-nighter so he's probably still in the sack. Then wake him up. He can sleep after we're paid. Why you gotta be such a hard-on? You're not his pal. You're his boss. This only works when they're scared of you, remember? Jack-off. It's going straight to voicemail. Voicemail? Just chill, okay? Count your money. - Combo. - Yo, what's up? You seen Badger? Don't you cover for him, bitch. I ask you a straight-up question, I expect a straight-up answer. Well? They were too scared to tell me. Badger got busted. He's in jail. Honey, I'm home! Too slow! What's up? Got more lives than a damn cat. Now if I could only learn to lick myself. What's up, guys? Good to see you. Good to see you. Good to see you. All right. Let's all get back to work, for chrissake, okay? In my office, man. Let's see what you bozos been up to lately. You okay? Hanging in? What's it look like? - What's this from A.P.D? - Been checking with them to see if they come across that famous blue meth of yours. Sure enough, last night. Got themselves an honest-to-God dealer. I was thinking of cruising over and saying hello. Maybe you'd like to go with me? Yeah. Well, all right. You told me to my face you weren't a cop, man. I feel manipulated. I thought we were gonna hang out. We are hanging out, Badger. You like Badger or Brandon? I like people who don't, like, abuse the Constitution. Badger, listen. Hey. I'm trying to help you here, man. Now, if you just tell me who your supplier is I think this can end very well for you. What are you doing, detective, talking to my client without me present? You sneaky Pete. Which is which? What, did the academy hire you right out of the womb? You guys get younger every... What'd you say to baby face? Did you say anything stupid? By "anything stupid," I mean anything at all. Look at you. Mouth open, vocal chords a-twitter. We'll talk about it later. Right now, you out. Ten minutes ago. Go on. There are laws, detective. Have your kindergarten teacher read them to you. Go grab a juice box. Have a nap. Go on. All right. Who do we have? Brandon Mayhew. Brandon Mayhew. All right. Brandon Mayhew. - Here we go. Public masturbation. - What? I don't get it. What's the kick? Why don't you do it at home with a big flat-screen TV, 50 channels of pay-per-view? In a Starbucks. That's nice. That ain't me, man. I... I was the guy who was selling meth. Allegedly. Okay. All right. I got you. Meth. Right. Sorry, that was a little transpositional error. Nothing a little Wite-Out can't take care of. Yeah, and felony quantity. - Just barely. - Yeah, just barely. The cops are like butchers. Always got their thumbs on the scales. But good luck arguing that in court. Let me get down to brass tacks. I'm gonna get you a second phone call. You're gonna call your mommy or your daddy or your parish priest or your Boy Scout leader and they're gonna deliver me a cheque for $4650. I'm gonna write that down on the back of my business card. Four-six-five-zero. Okay? And I need that in a cashier's cheque or a money order, doesn't matter. Actually, I want it in a money order. And make it out to "Ice Station Zebra Associates." That's my loan-out. It's totally legit. It's done just for tax purposes. And after that, we can discuss Visa or MasterCard but definitely not American Express, so don't even ask. All right? Any questions? You're gonna get me off, right? What do I look like, your high-school girlfriend? Five fingers, no waiting? That's a joke, Brandon. Lighten up. Son, I promise you this. I will give you the best criminal defence that money can buy. Yeah, but, Francesca, I took these already. Didn't I take these already? It's on your head. You're not supposed to double up on vitamin A. It's bad for the liver. Okay, who's next? Did him. I did him. That one went public defender. Thanks for nothing. What happened to my masturbator? You got me all turned around. Hang on. I'll get back to you. I sense you're discussing my client. Anything you care to share with me? Sure. Your commercials? They suck ass. I've seen better acting in an epileptic whorehouse. Is that like the one your mom works at? Is she still offering the two-for-one discount? DEA, huh? For a street bust. Now, what would two feds want with that little twerp? Sooner or later, this was gonna happen. You want your exponential growth guys are gonna get busted. Simple as that. How about we get him a real attorney? What the hell is this? This is who he hires? What? Are you kidding me? This is the guy you want. This is the guy I'd hire. It's the guy you'd hire. Look, you remember Emilio? Okay, this dude got Emilio off, like, twice. Okay? Both times, they had him dead to rights, yo. And then, poof. Dude is like Houdini. Seriously, when the going gets tough you don't want a criminal lawyer. You want a "criminal" lawyer. Know what I'm saying? Look, we're in good shape, Mr. White. Badger is way too loyal to roll. Plus, he's scared shitless of me, all right. We pay four large. Cost of business. Take it out of his payroll. And it's only his first dealing rap so, worst-case scenario, you know, they plead him out. He does five months picking up litter in an orange jump suit. So who goes inside? I don't need them seeing my face. Well, I don't need them seeing my face. Why not? You look like his typical clientele. Dick. Fine. We'll flip for it, all right? Call it. Heads. Mayhew? Mr. Mayhew? Mr. Mayhew. Nice of you to come down. Please. Look at you. Should I call the FBI and tell them I found D.B. Cooper? Joking. I... Please, come on. Come on. Please. Hello. Saul Goodman. Please sit. So it's a shame that we have to meet under these circumstances. I believe you have something for me? Oh, yes. - Mayhew. Is that Irish or English? - Irish. Faith and begorra. A fellow potato-eater. My real name is McGill. The Jew thing I just do for the homeboys. They all want a pipe-hitting member of the tribe, so to speak. I digress. Good things are happening. Fact is, your nephew is gonna get out in no time. That's wonderful, yeah. There's still a few details to be ironed out but now that the DEA is involved I think he's looking at time served, then probation. So leave your number with Francesca, and we'll be in touch. - Excuse me, the DEA? - Yeah. That's the Drug Enforcement Administration. The feds. I hope that I'm not the breaker of bad news but your nephew got mixed up with some pretty nasty customers. I understand that. What does that have to do with the DEA? They're after some mystery man some heavy-hitter that goes by the name Heisenberg. They want this guy like the axe wants the turkey. Seems young Brandon may have information that could lead to his arrest. Jesus, cheer up. This is good news. I mean, Brandon fell head-first into the doo-doo pile and came up smelling like Paco Rabanne. Wait, wait. Look, I just... I think... I just think that we should review our options. Options? I'm gonna tell you what your options are. You got a grand total of two. Option A: Brandon takes the deal. Option B: Brandon goes up to the penitentiary and gets his rectum resized about yay big. Look, look. What about reprisals? I mean, if Badger... If Brandon informs on this Heisenberg... I mean, what if, God forbid that they decide to take revenge? What have you been telling him? The kid keeps spouting off about, "If I talk, they'll kill me." Right now, he's the only thing holding up this deal. - Good. - No, that's not good. That's terrible. Trust me, sir, your nephew won't last in prison two weeks. You let him take his chances on the outside. Maybe I can work in some witness protection. No, look, look. These are vicious, desperate people. I've been told that one of them killed another man by crushing his head with an ATM machine. People love to take credit for the fun ones. The guy who got his head smooshed used to be a client of mine. His wife killed him, all right? It was open and shut. Trust me, you folks have nothing to worry about, okay? I'm gonna set your nephew straight, get him singing like a canary all's right with the world. Ten thousand dollars. Ten thousand, cash to you. I'm not saying to throw the case. Just no talking to the DEA. Are you saying what I think you're saying? Yes. What's it going to be? What, dude wouldn't take a bribe? That dude in there? Saul Goodman we're talking about? Yeah. "Morally outraged, " he said. Threatened to call the police. - Wait, and Badger is gonna spill? - Like the Exxon Valdez. So, what do we do about it? Hey, Francesca, how about I follow you home? No. For safety. What? God, you are killing me with that booty. Talk to me. Come on, talk to me, guys, huh? Come on, just tell me what you want. Jesus! Oh, no, no, no! No, it wasn't me. It was Ignacio. He's the one. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. Shut up, dude. Shut up, all right? Just speak English. Lalo didn't send you? No Lalo? - Who? - Oh, thank God! Oh, Christ! Oh, I thought... What can I do for you gentlemen? Anything. Just tell me what you need. This afternoon, an associate of ours offered you $10,000. You should have taken it. Wait a minute. This is in regards to what's-his-name? Badger! Brandon Mayhew. The uncle. That was your guy? No offence, but I don't take bribes from strangers, you know? Better safe than sorry. That's my motto. - But I'll take your money! Sure! - No, that offer has expired, yo. It was kind of low anyways. But okay, okay, I'll take it. Just tell me what you need, all right? I'm easy. I'm gonna keep a happy thought and assume this is just a negotiating tactic. All right, listen to me very carefully. You are going to give Badger Mayhew the best legal representation ever. But no deals with the DEA. All right? Badger will not identify anyone to anybody. If he does, you're dead. Why don't you just kill Badger? I mean, follow me, but if a mosquito is buzzing around you and it bites you on the ass, you don't go gunning for the attorney. You go grab a fly swatter. I mean, so to speak. I mean, all due respect, but do I have to spell this out for you? - We're not killing Badger, yo! - Then you got real problems, okay. Because the DEA will come down on your boy like a proverbial ton of bricks. I don't think I'm going out on a limb here but, hey, he's not gonna like prison. He's gonna sing like Celine Dion regardless of what you do to me. Mr. Mayhew? I recognise your cough. Take that mask off, you know. Get some air. Go on. - God. - Take it easy. Breathe in, breathe out. All right. I'm gonna stand up, all right? Because I got bad knees. That's better. Okay, now listen. The three of us are gonna work this out. Yeah? How? First thing, you'll put a dollar in my pocket, both of you. You want attorney-client privilege, don't you? So that everything you say is strictly between us. I mean it. Put a dollar in my pocket. Come on, make it official. Come on, do it. That's it, come on. Just a dollar. All right, now you, ski bum. Come on. Give with the dollar. - Go on. - Be smart. What? - All I got is a five. - I'll take a five. Come on, already. Come on. Be cool. Okay, you're now both officially represented by Saul Goodman and Associates. Your secrets are safe with me under threat of disbarment. All right? Take the ski mask off. I feel like I'm talking to the Weather Underground. Just do it. Okay, so if a prison shanking is completely off the table... And we're sure of that? No shanking! All right, all right. The way I see it is somebody is going to prison. It's just a matter of who. All right. Lame-ass TV ads aside your lawyer here, he cooked you up a pretty killer deal. Time served, no probation. It's pretty slick. Couldn't believe the judge went for it. Don't get cocky. You ain't home free yet. You don't give us the name of your supplier... - ...you're going nowhere. - The tough guy act is unnecessary. This young man is cooperating fully. Is that right? Yeah, you cooperating? Okay, let's start with a name. He just goes by Heisenberg. Heisenberg, huh? How old is this Heisenberg? Old. Like 50 or 70 or something. - Height? - Average, I guess. Medium height, medium weight. - What colour hair? - No hair. Dude is balder than you. 1963, James Edward Kilkelly is convicted of stealing a vending machine. 1975, breaking and entering. 1 982, grand theft auto. 1 984, armed robbery. 1987, 1992. You get the idea. And here he is today. Better known as Jimmy In-'N-Out. City, state and federal, he's spent 44 of the last 58 years inside. Entire life behind bars. Jimmy provides a very special service. For a price, Jimmy will go to prison for you. On purpose? The guy goes to prison on purpose? He's actually more comfortable inside. The outside world hasn't been too kind to him. Sometime during the Clinton administration Jimmy figured out how he could use his talents to turn a profit. - So when does all this happen? - It's already happening. The buy is set for tomorrow. Cops bust Jimmy, Badger gets out, everybody's happy and all it's gonna cost you is 80 thousand and one pound of your finest meth. Eighty thousand dollars for eight years of his life, huh? First of all, he's not gonna do eight years. I'll represent him, and I guarantee there's gonna be some unexpected problems with the prosecution's case. Secondly, he gets 30. Fifty goes to me. - You get 50? For what? - For facilitating. Who's taking a bigger risk here? He likes prison. You did bring the cash, didn't you? Look, if this option is too expensive you can still always... Badger in the chow line. Conscience gets expensive, doesn't it? All right. There's our boy. Right on time. - Go back. - What? All right, all right, all right. So, what do you think? They see us? No, man, I think we're good. Badger looks like he's gonna throw up. Give me those back. Just give them to me. Oh, no. Where the hell is Jimmy? Should've been here 10 minutes ago. You think Jimmy is actually for real? A guy who wants to be in prison? There's more than one kind of prison. What the hell is that supposed to mean? There he is... Wait a minute. - Oh, no, no, no. - What? What? Let me see. - Who the hell is that? - I don't know. Mr. Heisenberg, I presume. Time to move? Not till we see the exchange. No, no. Oh, shit! - What? - Now he shows. Okay, let's do this. No, no. Oh, my God. Jimmy is on the wrong bench. Crap! We're screwed! What are you doing? Hey, what are you doing? I don't get it. What's the holdup? Where's the stuff, man? - Where are we going? - Just shut up. Get out. Go stop him. The DEA is right there. If they see me, we're screwed. Get out. I'll do something. - What? - Just go! Hank, I thought that was you. Schrader, I'm blocked. - Walt, not a good time. - How you doing? You feeling okay? Schrader, I'm blocked. We're working. You gotta get out of here. - Working? Oh, like DEA working? - Schrader, we're missing it. Schrader. Is something going down? Wrong guy, wrong guy. Other bench. Walt, Walt. - Walter, move your ass now. - Okay. Listen, I'll just go, leave you alone. - We'll talk about it later. Just floor it. - Should I back up? - Go that way. - Forward is better? I'll be out of the way there. Okay, okay. I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry. - I'll leave you alone. - We'll talk later. Just go. Where'd he go? Where the hell did he go? Oh, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Got him. - Looks like it's going down. - Take him. Freeze! Hey, right there. Don't move. Come on, let's get him up. Jesus! I think they bought it. Absolutely. Textbook bust, sir. Yes, sir. Looks like we got a full pound of the blue stuff. Oh, and Heisenberg's real name? James Kilkelly. Thank you. Thank you very much. It was my pleasure. Hey. You weren't home, so I let the delivery guys in. - I hope that's okay. - Absolutely. So you bought a bed. Yeah. What is that, a king? Pillow top? Oh, my God. You really are a chemistry teacher. You mind? I was terrible at chemistry. I'm more of a humanities guy. - How did you find me? - We should talk about that. It should be much, much harder for people to track you down. My PI charged me for three hours so I seriously doubt it took him more than one. So this is, what, blackmail? Walter, I'm your lawyer. Anything you say to me is totally privileged. I'm not in the shakedown racket. I'm a lawyer. Even drug dealers need lawyers, right? Especially drug dealers. So, what, you're just doing this out of the kindness of your heart? Come on. Have you seen my hourly rate? By the way, where do you keep the money? Is it in your mattress? Is it in a jelly jar buried in the side yard? This kid Mayhew may be the first of your guys to get picked up but he won't be the last. And if I can find you, how far behind can the cops be? I don't understand. What exactly are you offering to do for me? What did Tom Hagen do for Vito Corleone? I'm no Vito Corleone. No shit. Right now, you're Fredo. But with some sound advice and the proper introductions, who knows? I'll tell you, you've got the right product. Anything that gets the DEA's panties in this big a bunch you're on to something special. And I would like to be a small and silent part of it. Food for thought, yeah? So if you wanna make more money and keep the money that you make better call Saul! Hey. You... You selling? I don't know what you're talking about. Okay. That's cool. I'm just saying, you know, if you were selling I could maybe do with a teenth. You're kidding, right? Dude, I so smell bacon. What? What are you talking about? Oh, gee, I don't know. How about over there. That brown van. From your Valentine's bitch. PS: And on my face." That's my favourite, I like the way she remembered the face. It's funny how all these cards seem to be in the same handwriting. Your admirers are either very young or have severe learning difficulties. Which is possible. The handwriting's bad cos they were strumming one out as they wrote 'em. Not you writing with your left hand? You're just jealous cos I got loads and you got none. - I got a card. - If it's your nan it doesn't count. - I didn't get any then. - I did get a card. A proper one. - Total bollocks. - Yeah? - What do you call this then? - Interesting! - Wow. Who's that from? - Hannah Fields in the year below. Sniff it to see if she rubbed her fanny on it. Neil! Na, just a bit of perfume. So what are you going to do about it? Nothing. Apart from making sure Carli doesn't find out. I think she'll be too busy sucking on her boyfriend's knob. - Shut up. - What? All I'm saying is, he'll have his cock right deep in her gob and then in her vag. Out the vag, back in the gob. Thanks! Oh, yeah, that reminds me. Give that to your mum for us. Are you serious? - Oh, you are. - Don't tell her who it's from. No, course not. Anything else, Neil? - Would you like me to ask her out? - Would you? Let me think. Would I? No. No, I fucking wouldn't. Good morning. And shut up. Right everyone, your work-experience placements have been finalised. And as 99% of you left it to the careers officer, I don't want to hear whingeing about where you're heading. Sir. There seems to be some mistake. Is the mistake you choosing to ignore me saying "No whingeing"? No, sir, it says here I'm going to work at a garage. Yes. Come on. Me. A garage? - Does that seem likely? - What's your point? I wrote to the local paper. To shadow a journalist there. Maybe even write a few pieces myself. Right, let me have a look. I don't get paid extra for this, you know. OK, it says here that Sutherland is expected at the newspaper. - Case closed. - Well, then there's clearly been some sort of mix-up. I don't mean to be rude but look at him. - No offence. - None taken. What was your first choice, Sutherland? Airplane driver. - And that is...? - Someone who drives planes. - You mean a pilot. - Do I? - What was your second choice? - Working with cars. Right. Ever wanted to work at a newspaper? No, sir. - Have you ever read a newspaper? - Not really. OK, it does seem there's been some sort of mistake here somewhere. That's OK, mistakes happen. Shall I go the paper tomorrow? You go to the garage. It's all booked. Is this a joke? Do I make a lot of jokes? - But sir... - I can't change the placements. Can't or won't? You pick. It's the same result. Sutherland? Does this mean I won't be driving any planes? This is a fuck-up. What experience will I get at a garage? Apart from a depressing working-class one? You get to look at horny calendars. Why work for a paper? I thought you were going into the family business. - Which is...? - Prostitution. Yep, nice one. It'll be shit anyway. The clue's in the name - work experience. It won't be shit at my dad's firm. When I worked there last summer, I spent every day jumping JCBs over cement mixers. - Well, that's a lie. - And I got paid a grand at the end. - Another lie! - I had a wank earlier - about your mum's tits. Is that alle? - I hope so. - It's not. - Oh, good. - Sorry, mate. - I ain't your fucking mate! He's touchy. It's probably cos he's such a short arse! - What d'you say? - What? - He's taking the piss, Danny. - Yeah? I'll fucking do you. - Yeah, whatever. - Wanker. - What's his problem? - Ooh, don't cry, Simon! Yeah, good one. Um, catch up in a bit. Oh, that's right, run after her, that's not creepy! I may not have received any Valentine's cards, but that didn't mean I hadn't sent any. Charlotte! Oh, hello. Happy Valentine's day. Did you get any cards? Yeah, maybe ten? Ten? Yeah, me too. But, did you get any flowers? I think you know I did. I thought it was really sweet, and I was gonna say, if you're not busy, we could hang out this Friday? I think I'm free. Yep, yes I am. I'm working on the bar at a local Valentine's disco thing. It's under-18s, so it might be a bit lame, but if you fancied keeping me company? A date? No, Will, not a date. Just two friends hanging out. Great. See you Friday. It's a date. No, it's not a date. Cool. She said it wasn't a date, but we both knew it was. Before that, I had to make the most of my new, pointless, shitty manual job. Hellooooo? Will MacKenzie, I'm here for work experience. Hello, you must be Will. Great to meet you, I'm Jim. This here's Wolfie and Steve. Hi, Jim, hi, Steve, hello, Wolf. Wolf-ie. Wolfie, right, gotcha. You'll have a right laugh. Long as you don't mind a bit of blue talk. - Not a poof, are ya? - No. Not a problem if you are, just be harder to join in some of the banter. Any part of car mechanics you're interested in, as it goes? To be honest, none of it... as it goes. - More interested in bikes, is it? - No, the media. Or law. Look, no offence, but I'm never going to work in a place like this. - Place like this? - You know, a place like this. Manual, dirty. Not stupid exactly, but not academic by a long chalk! It's not that I'm better than this, it's just that I am much cleverer than you need to be to work here. Steve here's got a BTEC. Exactly. I suspect the mix-up'll be sorted today, I'll be gone tomorrow. I see. You don't mind helping out today then? No, course not. Just the once, eh? Right, Cholmondley-Warner. We need some stuff picking up from the suppliers. Fine. I'll just get a pen and paper. Great. OK, we need two tins of tartan paint. Tartan paint times two. - Spirit level bubbles. - Bubbles for spirit level. - D'you need anything, Wolfie? - Yeah, ask him for a reach around. - A reach around. - Don't forget you really need that. Fine. So it's two tins of tartan paint, bubbles for spirit level and... a reach around. Might as well ask for a long wait while you're there. Great! ... this is a joke, isn't it? - What? - These items... they're not real things, are they? They don't exist. - I don't know what you mean. - Now, I know that these initiation ceremonies exist in certain types of workplace, and, don't get me wrong, I enjoy the camaraderie, but you have to get up pretty early to fool me. - No, fair enough, you caught us out. - Yeah, fair cop. Too sharp for us! I tell you what, why don't we initiate you with a pint at lunch? - Good. - We'll go to the Crown, barmaid in there's got a smashing pair of tits. OK! So, while I was getting a City and Guilds in tits, Neil was at the newspaper, happily wasting the opportunity of my lifetime. Toby, your work experience is here. Fine... All right. - Hi, you must be Neil, I'm Toby. - All right? So, what are you looking to get out of this assignment, Neil? Don't worry, I won't steal nothing. What I meant was, is there anything specifically you'd like to do here, or an area of journalism you're particularly interested in? No, not really. Right. And do you have any questions you'd like to ask me about anything? How long's my lunch hour? An hour. Meanwhile, Jay really had arranged some great work experience for Simon, freezing his arse off at a disgusting plant-hire yard. This is shit. I don't wanna do this for a living. Nah, it's all right! We'll be able to drive the diggers soon, I reckon. Jay? Why have you stopped? This is work experience, not standing-around-being-a-useless-twat experience. You don't need any experience at that - you're the expert! Sorry, Dad, we only stopped for a moment. This is well knackering. You'd better get used to it, cos with your brains you'll be fucking lucky to get a job throwing shit into a skip! This isn't exactly how you described it. Get many Valentine's cards, Simon? - Just the one. - One more than Jay's ever got. - I got plenty. - Don't worry, there's a girl out there for you. You just need to find a desperate bird that likes the smell of BO and blokes with tiny cocks! Now get back to work, I ain't paying you to sit on your scrawny arse. Nice. - All right? - What are you doing here? - I thought you should be at work? - They let me go home at lunch. You jammy bastard. Si, what's all this I hear about you having a fight with Danny Moore? What? ! Who's Danny Moore? He's been talking about a beating on you. Who is he? - I don't know who he is! - That kid you bumped into - and then called a shortarse. - That was Jay. You'll have to go and knock him out now. - Teach him a lesson. - If you see him, - tell him it's a mistake. - I'm not getting involved. He's from a hard family in Northwood. His brother did time. Oh, Northwood? Been nice knowing you, Si! What's this, my dad's bigger than your dad? What are we, 12? - I think he is 12, actually. - You're not scared are you, Si? No, it's just I'm not going to look cool beating up a kid. - And you couldn't. - Yes, I could, can we just leave it? I'm not fighting anyone. Oh yeah, nice one. Mature. Compared to Simon, my first day was turning out OK. After a morning of pretending cars were broken and overcharging middle-class women, we had bonded over a pint. Thanks, guys. That was a much more civilised way to welcome me. It's shame we won't get to do it again... Oh, no! A kidnap? ! What are you, the cockney Al-Qaeda? Don't shit yourself, we're going for a drive. - Hello, mate! - Come on, is this really necessary? What about my allergies? ! Let's talk about this. Please! My allergies! Wasn't expecting that, was you, mastermind? ! See you tomorrow! Institutionalised bullying wasn't quite the work experience I had in mind. But I knew how to deal with bullies. I got my mum to tell the teacher. I was hoping you'd be able to do something about it, Mr Gilbert. - I'm sorry. - I just wonder what he said to them. - I don't think he said anything, Kevin. - He must have said something. He walked back through the town centre sopping wet and barely clothed. I'd hoped you'd take this more seriously. He wrote to the paper especially to get work experience, and instead I'm picking frogspawn out of his underpants. Would you excuse me just for a second? Ooooooooh God! Look, I really want to help, but it's not my responsability. I will ask if they'll consider swapping students, but I can't promise anything. Now, if you'll excuse me, I do have a meeting to attend to. What a pickle! I'm not sure I should send Neil to the garage. Those men sound like brutes. I think it was just hijinks. What, three dirty men throwing a naked young boy into water? - The mind boggles. - I never said Will was naked. I thought you did... Not quite the outcome I'd hoped for. Neil's dad imagining me naked. When it comes to love, they say a gentleman never tells. But I wasn't a gentleman. I was a twat. Guess who got a date with Charlotte Hinchcliffe? - Donovan? - No. I bet it is - he's probably balls deep in her right now. The answer... is me. - No way. - Yes, way. Of sorts. - Of sorts way. - How? I've no idea. Honestly, and I'm not going to stop and ask her. I don't know why she likes me but I'm going to do my best to keep it that way. Sounds like a good plan. - When is it then? - What? - Date. - Friday. - What we up to Friday? - Same as every Friday. - Nothing. - Maybe we could go. In what world would I want you to come along? - It's not for you, it's for us. - It'd be funny to watch you fuck it up. Yeah, you might cry. Thanks for the vote of confidence, but you won't want to come. I'm seeing her at this under-18s night she's working at. It will be uncool, - even for us. - Sounds OK to me. - At least we'll definitely get in. - No, no. - You won't like it. - We might even get some. Won't they be a bit young? - Grass on the pitch and it's OK for me. - Right, and what if there isn't? By the time you find out it'll be too late. Surely you've got better things to do than watch me with Charlotte? Great, no, fine. See you there then. So before my date with Charlotte, and it was a date, I had to endure one last day with the savages. I was pleasantly surprised to find Jim and Wolfie engaged in serious debate. All right, Will? You'll like this - we're just having "a discussion". - Oh, really? - Which titties would you spunk over? The little ones, or big and bouncy? A handful, plenty to play with. - They both look nice. - Better than tits you'll ever get mate! All right, I'd spunk over the big ones, and they're not better than I'd get. Bollocks. Here, Steve... - Speccy here... reckons he has better! - Stop that. - I have. - Fuck off, you're a virgin! - Classic virgin. - You're wrong. I did it last year. With a girl I'm seeing tonight. Yeah, sure. Yep! She's fit, she's older than me, and she goes like a porn star. - Oh, right! - Yeah, and she's got massive titties and I... Well, I... fucked her hard and all night long. What are you and this dirty horn bucket up to this weekend then? I might come and check her out. Going to an under-18 disco where she works, so you won't be able to. I could go. - What? - I could go. I'm 17. You're 17! ? - You're 17? - Yeah, yeah - I just look older. There's looking older and then there's that. You look about 30! Lovely! Wolfie'll check out this tart you've been boning, then. - Good. - Maybe Wolfie'll pull her. - He won't do that because she loves me. - She loves you? I'm going to cry! I mean... - She loves to fuck me. - Yeah... Course she does. That evening at the Civic Hall, I hoped Neil would enlighten me about what I'd be up to next week. He'd never enlightened me about anything before, but you never know. How was the newspaper? Did you write anything? No, nothing boring like that. I'm on the internet most of the day, this afternoon I smashed old desks in a skip and then home at four. Are we the oldest here? Possibly. It's even more shit than I knew it would be. I honestly don't why you came. - To see you get blown out by Charlotte. - Please try not to fuck this up. Charlotte asked me so there's a chance, admittedly a very slim chance, that she wants to pull me. Or maybe she needs a mechanic for her car! - Good one! - I'd service her all right. I'd slide my dipstick in deep! Thanks for coming, really appreciate it! I'm gonna find Charlotte. Up to you. It looks like there's some tidy minge here. Yes, it's tidy because there's no hair on it. Oi, Si, Hannah Fields is over there. It's her who write your Valentine? Oh, yeah, shit. She looks quite fit actually. Right, I'll go over and tell her you fancy her. - No. - Why? Well, you going over and telling her I fancy her, seems a bit, y'know, childish. When in Rome. That's how you got to play it with younger girls. You go over... Shit, she's coming over here. So did you get my valentine's card then? Oh, yeah, great. Thank you. - Do you want a drink? - I've got one thanks. No, I mean a proper drink. Oh... right. Yeah, thanks. You're fit. - Sorry? - Oh, forget it. Come on. You're well sexy, I used to stare at you in assembly. Right. Ooh, you're so horny. Tongue me! Um, how old are you? Blimey, that didn't take long. Compared to you and Charlotte anything's quick. - Softly softly, catchee monkee. - I didn't know you spoke Spanish. See! I told you this was a great place to get your fingers stinky. Oh, my god, she's going for his cock. Oh, what you doing? Shall we go somewhere more private? - I want you. - Right. Careful, no-one's touched that before, it might go off. Good! Crikey, careful. Are they allowed to do that in here? - Crikey! - Fuck me, she's gonna wank him off! The jammy git's pulled an experienced cock handler. Or, someone so inexperienced she thinks it's the best way to pull an older boy. - Either way it's a win-win situation. - It's not really, though, no? Thanks to me, we're now watching Simon get wanked off. Thank you so much! - Getting a bit weird now. - I hate it when he makes eye contact. None of us do, Neil. Call me a short arse now! Come on then, you fucking coward! - Oh, please, not his face! - I'm gonna do you! Northwood are in the house, you're fucking dead! How embarrassing. - That was brilliant! - Was it? Fucking hilarious, he totally did you. - Have they chucked him out? - Doubt it. Not gonna chuck him out for that, just a scuffle. - He kicked me in the cock. - Good shot! - What happened to Hannah? - Erm, I think you blew it when a twelve year did beat you. I fucking slipped! He's talking to a load of Northwood lads. - What? - They don't look twelve, to be fair. Fucking hell Si, you muppet. We are so dead. What? Dead? That should be the end of it! Simon's taken a beating, a child's honour's been restored. - I didn't take a beating! - Yeah. This is Northwood. It's not the end, it's the start! - We do what now? - I get Charlotte? - Is she hard? - No, she'll get them thrown out! I'll go find her, you go and hide somewhere. - Hide? - Yes, hide. - Toilets? - Charlotte! - Someone's desperate for a diet coke! - No, Simon's been attacked by a kid... Here? What did he do, headbutt him in the knee? No. Kicked him in the cock, actually, but listen... Please say you aren't asking me to protect you from children? Hmm, a bit. All right, Cholmondley-Warner? Is this your bird? Nice to meet you. You're just like Will said you was. - Right. I hope that's a compliment. - Oh, yeah it is. You wouldn't mind having a quick word with our boss Jim on the old blower, OK? - Please don't. - New friend? - From work experience. A colleague. - Jim for ya. Ignore everything he says, it's bollocks, I promise. Hello. Right. No, I'm not his girlfriend, no. No, we didn't have sex. He did, did he? No, that didn't happen. No, I'm not a porn star. Charlotte, listen... I was working in a garage. You don't understand what it's like. How many chances do you think you'll get to be a dickhead? One more? Wrong. You're a nasty little virgin. See ya. Right, fair enough. OK. Best of a bad lot, deal with what we've got. I need you, we're in trouble. I'm off. Only popped in to check out your missus. Well, thanks for popping by and ruining my love life. No problem. I hope you and your ignorant boss get a good laugh out of it. I'll tell you who'll be laughing last! Me! Cos I'm not the one who'll be working in a shitty garage doing manual labour for the rest of my life. See you Monday. No you won't! Because I'll be at a local paper. That's right, a local newspaper. So my date, yes, date, was a disaster. But at least my friends weren't hiding in the toilet. Oh, they were. There was only one person for saving us now. Thanks for stepping in, mate! I was going to dive when you put your cock away. - Budge up a minute Jay, I need a piss. - You're not pissing in here, Neil. - Why not? It's a toilet. - Go outside if you have to. What if they come in? I don't see why I can't piss here. Because I do not want to see piss coming out the end of your cock. - I could sit down and do it. - What? I do that sometimes. You know, for a treat. Oh, fuck, just get on with it then. - Are you going yet? - I can't, you're putting me off. - Shit, who's that? - Northwood? - Who is it? - It's obviously me. What is happening in here? - Has Charlotte sorted it? - No. I've sorted it though. - What have you done? - My mum's gonna pick us up. What? - Oh, this is tragic. - Called your mom! Your mum is coming to rescue us from the toilet of an under-18 disco because we're being bullied by 12-year-olds? No-one must ever know about this. Si, go outside and take your beating from this child, and then we can leave. I'd have taken him down if it weren't for Northwood. How were you going to take him down? Spunk in his eyes? Oh, shit. What if Carli finds out about me and that girl? Oh, no! Maybe she still won't go out with you. Oh, god this is a fucking disaster. No actually, it's OK, it's fine. - I can move away and change schools. - My night hasn't been brilliant either. At least next week will be better, get my teeth into some journalism. Oh, yeah, the paper want to keep me on so there's no room for ya. Tell me you're joking? They said I was the best work experience they'd ever had. This is an urgent message for William MacKenzie. Please make his way to the front entrance as his mother is here to pick him and his friends up. This is an urgent message for William MacKenzie. Please come to the front where your mother is waiting to collect you. Oh, for fuck's sake! It had been a strange week. I hadn't experienced much actual work, but I had learnt some valuable lessons. Never work with children or animals. Don't call your valentine a porn star. You're a nasty little virgin. And despite what I'd thought, a girl touching your penis is not always a good thing. .: La Fabrique :. L'Équipe à Roger Synchro: mpm I love martinis. They heal all wounds. After about 1000 of them I'm still amazed. But your poor liver has had to work so hard. I know, I know. - I'm very proud of her. - Your liver's female? All of my internal organs are women. Listen, I have an early surprise birthday present for you. - When is your birthday, by the way? - In about six months. Then this is very early. You know the director Jim Jarmusch... Down by Law, Broken Flowers? - Yeah, I love his movies. - Well, I saw Jarmusch the other night. He has very good hair, just... Anyway, he wants to meet with you, give you a script to read. - Why does he want me to read? - He loves your first novel and he wants you to do a revision of one of his screenplays. You're gonna meet him at a film society party tomorrow sometime and I've set the whole thing up for you. I don't know. I really should be working on my book. And look, I don't know how to write screenplays. You need a computer program or something. - It's crazy. - Don't be a milquetoast. This is a very big opportunity for you. It could be a life changer. Can one screenplay really change a life? Sometimes. Do I want my life to change? Most people do, Jonathan. Oh, shit, there's Antrem and Priscilla. Don't turn around. Don't draw attention. Just sit... Just sit there. Who are they? Damn it, I can't stand him. I can't believe this is happening. Richard... used to work for me years ago. And that's Priscilla, my best ex-wife. They recently moved back to New York. This is not gonna work. Let's get out of here. Why was she your best wife? Everything with her was as intimate as kissing. I never really got over her... the most orgasmic woman I've ever been with. Who was the most orgasmic woman you've ever been with? You could use my first name. But I hope I'm not the most orgasmic woman you've ever been with. I'm not that easy. - Hello, Priscilla. - Hello, George. - You look absolutely beautiful. - I don't. I look like shit, but thank you. - How do I look? - Depraved, but well-fed. Jonathan, this is Richard and Priscilla Antrem. Richard is the new editor of Women's Wear Daily. George, you know I'm editing GQ. Don't be petty. - I'm sorry. I get the two confused. - Of course you do. You ought to try doing The Times crossword puzzle. It's supposed to be good for senile dementia. Richard, George, please. Well, it's very nice to meet the both of you. - Same here. - So... who was the most orgasmic woman you've ever been with? No, I wasn't talking about me, actually. Jonathan here mentioned a woman that he was dating that was very lively? - Lively. - Really? You've got an awfully good grip. It's probably kind of handy in bed, isn't it? How orgasmic was she? Thank you about the grip. Yeah, I... she was... - I don't want to be rude. - I don't mind talking about sex. It's what everybody's thinking about anyway. Why don't we sit down and have a drink and be civilized? I'd love to, but we actually were on our way out right now. So maybe some other time. So anyway, hello and goodbye. Nice to meet you. That was really weird... the way Antrem wouldn't let go of my hand. He's a strange and tormented creature. It really disturbs me that Priscilla loved me once and now loves him. I'd hate to think what that means. They're very nice ladies. Well, one of them is. I'd be doing them a huge favor. I don't feel good about this. I don't want you to be a sperm donor. But it's flattering. They're fans of my work. I've never had lesbian fans before. They should go to a sperm bank. You can't just give your sperm to two girls you met in a cafe. I met you in a cafe. I just feel like you shouldn't be doing this. The world is overpopulated. You know there's an island of plastic the size of Texas in the pacific. I know, Leah. You told me this 1000 times. Please don't dismiss what I'm saying. Overpopulation is important to me. Look, I don't think that me giving these lesbians one illegitimate child is gonna add that much plastic. You have two children. Why can't I have one? But you haven't thought this through. You don't listen to me. I do listen. I've heard everything you've said. Really? You don't listen listen. I want you to go for therapy. Oh, God. I'll trade you therapy for sex. It's been almost three weeks. I think it's sweet you know how long it's been. Let's get a drink. - Keep an eye out for Jarmusch. - There's a lot of good-looking women... much better than at book parties. Goodbye. - White wine? - Yeah. Why is it wherever I go I look for Suzanne? Because your heart's broken. You're looking for the piece that is her to put it back together. I'll probably do the same with Priscilla now that she's back in town, God help me. If it works out with Jarmusch I'll be so distracted that I'll forget about Suzanne. Movies equal money, women, glamour... - more women. - I like that. That's positive thinking. - But is any of it meaningful? - No, but it's fun. There's Jarmusch. All right, let's go. All right? Look at that hair. This is... I'm sorry, I forgot your name. We just met. Miriam. Nice to meet you. George Christopher. And this is Jonathan ames. - The man I want to meet. - It's very nice to meet you. Could you excuse us? We have some business to talk over. - Sure. - Thanks. Are those hummingbirds? They're dipping their beaks into flowers. I love them. - What was your name again? - Miriam. So I really loved your novel... dark, funny, perverted, beautiful. You must really suffer from the terrifying clarity of your vision. Thank you. I do suffer. Thank you. Take a look at this screenplay. I kind of dashed it off. It's about the New York poet Frank O'Hara. He had a beautiful nose like a boxer. Yeah, I know. I love his nose. He got run over by a dune buggy on Fire Island. Anyway, I'd like you to think about doing a rewrite on this. - George has my number. - Thank you for this opportunity. I love your work and I can't wait to read this. Thanks. Did you have this script made for me? My name's on the cover. Now when you give someone a script to read it's kind of standard practice to laser print their name on every page. I see. This is not a big deal, but my name is misspelled. There's no "O" at the end. It's "Jonathan", not "Jonathon". Yeah, man, I don't know. It's not really important. But call me tomorrow and it's really great to meet you. Great to meet you. Thank you, Jim Jarmusch. Do you know Jim Jarmusch? He's my favorite director of all time. His films are like poems that come to life. It's really interesting. The film that we might work on together is actually sort of about that. You're gonna work with Jim Jarmusch? I don't want to go to a bar on Smith street. Let's just go back to my place. I live with my dad, but he'll be out tonight. - We can have a drink there. - What year are you again at N.Y.U? - Senior. - Senior? Okay. Wait, so you're 22, right? I'm going to be soon. I'm 21. You don't think i'm too old, do you? I'm 30. 30 is cool. I've been with guys older than you. But are you a man or a boy? Well, what's the difference? With a man... you feel like you're being taken and you like it. And with a boy you feel like they're stealing something from you and you don't like it. This is it. Thank you. Shit, my dad is home already. We can go to seventh avenue and grab a drink. We're going in his office. It's fun in there. It's a beautiful brownstone. - Your dad's a therapist? - Yeah, he's a pain in the ass. He thinks he's the Carl Jung of Brooklyn. I like Carl Jung. Not when he's your dad and he acts like your diary is part of the collective unconscious. Wait. Sorry, I keep thinking about people sitting on this couch talking about being sexually abused. That's what makes it fun. You're a good kisser. Am I a manly kisser? Do you want to go to my prom with me? N.Y.U. has proms? Shit. I'm drunk. I should be honest with you. I don't go to N.Y.U. - Where do you go? Hunter? - St. Anne's. The high school? How old are you? - Old enough. - Wait wait. You want me to go to your senior prom, right? You're 18? - No, junior prom. - You're 17? - 16. - 16 years old? But I'll be 17 in two weeks. You're 16? Oh my God, oh my God. Don't freak out. I haven't been a virgin for almost a year. I probably know more about sex than you do. I know plenty about sex, okay? That doesn't matter. You said you weresn't 21. There's a big difference between 21 and 16. Look, I'm sorry. You're beautiful, but I have to leave. I feel really guilty. I wish I had met you in high school. I wouldn't have liked you then. That's true. If you really have to go I want to give you something to remember me by. And you can tell Jim he can put me in his movie. Don't do that. - Dad! - What the hell is going on here? That's right. Run, you little sick. Oh, shit, the script. - You're gonna go to your mother's. - You don't understand me. I don't want to. You're gonna go to your mother's. You can't deal with being attracted to your own daughter. Do not try to pull transference on me. I invented transference. I called the girl, but she's already in Connecticut with her mom so she can't get the screenplay. - What the hell am I gonna do? - You gotta break into that place. I can't break into a therapy office. Why? What difference does it make? You gotta get in there. No, it's not possible. George is gonna kill me and so is Jim Jarmusch. Well, they can't both kill you. Just call the dad and ask for it. He will shoot me. She's only 16 years old... Well, nearly 17. Nearly 17. - You didn't sodomize her, did you? - No. That's too bad. You gotta be careful. A lot of things fall under sodomy. I wonder if kissing is sodomy. Don't say that. I need to get this screenplay. I'm supposed to call Jarmusch and tell him what I think. Ignore it. Don't answer your phone. That's what I would do. But I don't want it to blow over. I want this. I can't work on my novel. I need this job. You let me know. Because what happened to me was, talking to you before, kind of stirred me up a little bit. Yeah, it did. And I realised that, you know, my opinions aren't generally taken into consideration. That's because in my line of activity, the attributes of loyalty are so much more important than your attributes of opinions. Cos, a bodyguard... What does a bodyguard do? He's gotta stay close to his subject at all times, all the time, and you're wondering what am I doing here right now, right? Well... Well, Mr Diamonds said, "Hey, go take the afternoon off. "Take a few hours off. You deserve it." You know what that's called? It's called esteem. Esteem for loyalty. I mean, I don't... I don't need time off, cos anything could happen when I'm not covering his back. He could be talking to other bodyguards, for instance. Yeah, right? I mean, I'm not concerned as such, I'm not concerned, because, well, I'm... I'm that guy, that one-in-a-thousand kind of a guy. I'm that guy that will go the distance. I will go all the way. They no respect for the dead! They no respect for nothing, Michelangelo! Dorothy, Bonnie, they pass on! Poor babies. They just babies! Like you! My daughter, yesterday night, she say she see what you doing on internet. She say she see me speaking! She say, "Mum, you are famous!" But I do not want to be famous! I want to be invisible! Invisible! So you stop now. Right now, Michelangelo! Child, you go home. Please! Pray to lord for souls of dead! Hello, dear. Are you all right? This is a terrible, terrible time for us, Michelangelo. Actually, I'm really not sure that you should still be here. Poor Dorothy. Poor Bonnie. Even if she was a little difficult... Well... She made the people in the backroom suffer, you see, at her fittings. The lateness, the screaming, the insults. She insulted me, too, often enough. She had to have this and she had to have that. Whatever you did was wrong. Whatever you paid her, it wasn't enough. It was a nightmare. Of course, it was galling to think that in one day, a so-called day, she earned more than some workers earn in six months or even a year. It doesn't seem fair, does it? Well, but then there she was the next day on the front pages. You know, dear, my father, he started this business from nothing. My mother worked all hours. They both did. And I was their only child. I wanted to go to law school. I wanted to be a politician. I wanted to change the world. But how could I let them down? I couldn't do that. And now it all seems irrelevant. Bonnie's family are flying in. The whole thing is unbearable. I can't even bear to talk about it. Not even to you. Let me tell you that this is one of the worst days of my life. Remember how I told you Minx's best friend was the light? Well, now I realise I was wrong. Bonnie was my best friend. Bonnie. I saw that crystal clear today when I went to the airport to pick up her parents. It was a good photo opportunity for Minx. So she went, even though it was very early. You didn't laugh at my little joke against Minx, Michelangelo. Maybe you don't have a sense of humour. Anyway, her family are fat. They're all fat and small. Her little sister looks like a sausage. Look over there. But they loved Bonnie. They loved her. Nursed her through the operations, the eyes, the nose, everything. Worked night and day to pay for it all. And now she's gone. All for nothing! The detective asks me how I feel about my models. I told him again and again, I adore them. Of course, Michelangelo! They wear my designs! OK, OK, Dorothy was, I must admit, tiring. It was the tears like a fountain. And Bonnie was, I admit, a nightmare, but in the show, you see, she was a winner. She could walk, you see. And then there was the hair, red, which was, in my opinion, overrated. That's why I put her in a wig but not just any wig, you understand. A 30-metre long black braid, Chinese reference. It was superb, truly superb. A little bit heavy, I agree. But, anyway, she hated it. Hated me for making her wear it. And then, you see, Michelangelo, models, they hate this or that. Ultimately, they hate each other. Like all women do. So what do I do now, you might ask. Well, first, I wait for Forensics to come back to me about the line of fire, complicated by the mother of all wigs, apparently, and then I look for motive. I've been talking to people. I've been asking questions. Lots of questions. From what they's been saying to me, seems everybody loved everybody here. "My best friend Dorothy this, my best friend Bonnie that." These fashion folk doth protest too much. For praising what is lost makes the remembrance dear. Between you and me I'm a little nervous, because you know what they say, these things happen in threes. And I'm damned if I'm gonna be the third. Minx, stay on top! Yesterday... Was it yesterday? I was trying to explain to you my views on fashion and morality. I do feel my views have been vindicated. Forget beauty. Forget creation. Look at the human race. What do you see? Look honestly. Not a species of creatives. Humans are, quite simply, the greatest destroyers of all time. Rape and pillage is the norm. And not just of each other but of the planet. You'll be lucky if there is a planet when you reach my age. Afraid? You should be. Well, the world of fashion is no exception. It thrives on fear and on hatred, Michelangelo. Fear of failure, hatred of the non-entity. And why? Cos only the brightest sparks will gleam for longer than a moment. None of us seek oblivion. In fact, we are all secretly foot soldiers, marching in a great army against time. It's a hopeless cause. Hopeless. Speaking of which, I'm sure you are aware of the students standing around outside with their... Their tacky placards and clichéd slogans. Listen. To a worker in the Dominican Republic, or a village in China a garment factory is not a sweatshop. It's an employment opportunity. You know something, Michelangelo? Merlin kept this collection under wraps. He said it would be a wonderful surprise. He promised there would be music, dancing, beading. Now, you put that together with a fragrance and a brand name that works any time, any place, any language, you are on to a winner. And they came up with M. Mysterious. Magical. Mother. Excellent name for an excellent investment. Excellent. Very secure. And now some clever journalist, in a paper I do not yet own, writes that M is for murder. My marketing people did not warn me of this possibility, Michelangelo. No, they did not. This was not what I had in mind, not at all. OK. Did you get that? Good. As I've always said, you must look for opportunity in every situation. A lot of people would think if they are let go from an employment position, for example that their future is not looking so very bright. But, then, every ending is also a beginning. That's, guess what, another chapter heading for the book I'm going to write. Which I will be having a lot of time for from now on. Also... leisure opportunities. As a matter of fact, I always wanted to dance. Have you spoken to Dwight a lot? You have? Well, he's very bright, isn't he? Very well educated. They... seem to like that. Yes, it's true. I have been promoted, Michelangelo. How did you guess? You see, I made a counterproposal to Mr Diamonds after Bradley's proposal didn't go over so well at the press conference. I could see that Mr Diamonds was not impressed by "M is for mortality". Ladies don't want to be thinking about death and dying when they're buying a fragrance. Anyway, so I thought, under the circumstances, why not change tack and target the youth market with the perfume? Actually, it was talking to you that gave me the idea. You know that? Yeah, young people, they have identity issues and insecurities about body odour. Am I right, Michelangelo, hmm? So I thought of "M is for me". It works for the 12- to 16-year-old out-of-control hormonal situation, that teenage demographic, and, then, as for the under-12s with their... so used to violence with their video games, that brand association of murder and perfume... whoa, man! That could really take off. Now, well, Mr Diamonds, he didn't exactly get it at first, but then he got kind of excited and he called it damage limitation, Michelangelo. And I think there's an amazing niche right there... in damage limitation. OK, Michelangelo, I have decided to use these disasters and rethink everything. Yes. They want me to revise my collection? Overnight? OK, I will give them a collection that they will never forget. Yes. I will, I will... wrap everything, cover it, and I will call it my burkha collection. Yes, and then I will rip everything to shreds as if a burkha was hit by a bomb. This is East/West, you see, in one. Brilliant, no? But my backer, my business manager, my public relations people, they all will say no. Why should I listen to their opinions? Because, Michelangelo, they control the finance. Therefore, they only think about what will sell. What will sell a perfume. Second, they are afraid it might offend. They don't want to upset people. People like me. Not because they care about our feelings but because they are afraid of us. Do you understand? And, suddenly, my designs, they must attract people under 12! What are they thinking of? Suddenly, my designs must attract children? I mean, children! No offence to you, Michelangelo. I mean no offence to you. I am very fond of children. I was once a child, too, but not for long. You have to grow up fast where I came from, very fast. Yes, Michelangelo, a very successful meeting. Sometimes you just have to be firm with designers. Ultimately, they are reliant upon my investment, but they do tend to forget this from time to time. They get emotional... but then everyone gets emotional when they feel they may lose their position. But as Mr Trump says, it's not personal, it's business. Now I am going to have a little word with Miss Carvell. I have some ideas for her column. See what an education you're getting here. How to run things from the top. Are you learning things? Good. Yes, I did meet with Mr Diamonds, Michelangelo, although, quite frankly, it is none of your business. I'm absolutely fine, thank you. Hmm. Now listen up, Michelangelo. See, I have observed that you have been speaking to the exact same people I've been speaking to. Sometimes ahead of me. Maybe you have a fascination with this fashion universe and you is trying to make a reputation, reputation, reputation with this little camera. Or maybe, as beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold, you is stealing the truth out of their mouths, and by the time they get to me, they is all talked out! So... just what exactly have they been saying to you? Anything you want to pass on brother to brother? Hello, Michelangelo. How are you? I have good news, Michelangelo. My photograph was in a magazine for celebrities. My face. Actually, it was an action shot, falling. So... And, also, Otto is phoning me. He is telling me that a big producer is phoning him to offer me a very good role in a commercial. It's for the bad guy, actually. The villain. The killer, actually. With a knife. All right, I'm gonna tell you something, kiddo. I woke up last night thinking about it. I couldn't sleep at all. First I thought, "Who am I gonna talk to?" And then I thought, "Michelangelo." Because you're a good listener. I mean that, really. But it's not an easy thing to talk about. Because... Well... Maybe... Maybe it was my fault what happened to Bonnie. And Dorothy. Because you see, in a way, Minx wanted them dead. But a girl can't help her feelings, can she? That's all they were. Private feelings. Private thoughts. I didn't really want it to... You know. What do you think, Michelangelo, honestly? Do you think I made a mistake with my career? You see when I was born mother decided I was to be something respectable, reliable. So you can imagine, when I started playing with dolls, mother started crying day and night. It was a nightmare. And that's when I began to dream of being a psychiatrist. To stop mother from crying. And then one day, a man told me I was beautiful, asked me if I wanted to be in a commercial. Big hair, big eyelashes, big fur. Vodka. It was a big success. They called me Minx, sent me to New York, and I sent money home to mother and she stopped crying. That's when I learned that the best medicine is money. Money. I still dream of being a psychiatrist. Because I think I could help people with their problems. Really I do. Do you? I've been developing my ideas, Michelangelo. And I'm here to make a proposal to you. I've seen your site. Yes, I have. I know my way around the web, all right. Now if you put your mind to it, you could become one of our brand-awareness operators, Michelangelo. You could become... an influencer. Do you know what that is? That is a kid who sets a trend. And we employ a lot of them. Now tell me, OK, honestly. How many hits did your site have yesterday? Wow! Really? You see, I knew that the youth market was the niche to explore. It is just where the numbers are... Except for the ageing population, of course. Wow! That just came to me. Geriatrics! They sure need fragrance, right? See, Michelangelo, you have to think ahead in the world of the new. That's a pity it's not called N. "N is for new." But then that wouldn't work for the old. Michelangelo, can I? Can I ask you something? Do you think that something is, like, there, whether you look at it or not? And... and do you think everything or every, every, every, every, everybody exists that ever was or ever will be? Because, then, logically you don't have to do anything at all. You can just sit and wait and wait for it all to happen but... But I don't want to wait, you know? Cos what if that's not true? I mean, free will must have something to do with it, otherwise what's the point of being alive? Have you got? Have you got? Have you got, like, some place I could stay? I mean... I mean, would your mum? Would your mum mind, if I? I... I just really want to get away from... from all this. You know, like doing, like... like doing the show. Doing the show again and... And I thought... And I... But Rho... I mean, Rho... Rhoda said... But I... I thought... I thought... maybe... W... what... what do you think? Michelangelo I would like you to record something for posterity. And you keep it safe. You understand? You see, before you know it, they will point a finger at me. And why will they point a finger at me? Think about it. This collection was reflecting, quite deliberately, the culture of violence in which we live. So of course the models were carrying guns. Of course they were pointing the guns at each other. It was a statement! And, you know, I explained to you what a statement is. But maybe they will interpret this statement as part of a larger plot to destroy the whole of society and then I will be finished. Maybe they will take me away and I will disappear and that will be that. Now you have a record of this thought in your little camera, OK? Just in case. Good morning, Michelangelo. Yes... Now... Now we have to get serious. What have you been doing? Are you crazy? This is not what we agreed. All those kids outside, hundreds of them, among the protestors, some of them calling my name when I came in just now. "'O' is for Otto, that's my motto!" They were calling that and laughing! Now I don't mind people calling my name, not at all. I do feel it's my turn to have a little piece of the limelight, but, er this information, it was private, between you and me. You know? You have... you have betrayed all the confidence I put in you. My God, Michelangelo. Will you switch that thing off? Enough is enough! Michelangelo... I think you were the last person to speak with Lettuce Leaf yesterday. She told me that she wanted to talk to you, and today she's nowhere to be seen. Did she say anything to you? No? Well, I can't really blame her for not wanting to turn up here. Merlin will just have to manage as best he can and Minx can fill in for the absentees. I won't be helping out, as it happens, no. I thought it might interest you to know that I, myself, will be joining the demonstration myself this afternoon when the show begins. Yes. I'll be protesting against the policies of the company that I manage. We have an escalation situation, Michelangelo. An escalation situation. We have demonstrators chanting and waving things in the air. We have a mob of young people, very young, crying in unison, "To be or not to be," when I pass by. Now, I like to see young people interested in Mr William Shakespeare's verse, Michelangelo, but something don't smell right and it might just be you! Come here, Michelangelo! You have to take sides, brother, and I don't know what side you're on. See, when I was a kid, if we saw a cop, we started running, right? We knew, in the eyes of the law, we were guilty of something. Even if that something was just the sin of having a darker complexion. Then, one day, I made a decision. I'd rather be the chaser than the chased. I made a career choice, brother. That's how I got the cuffs in my hands and not on my wrists, and in my hands is where they're gonna stay! It is absolute mayhem out there, Michelangelo. I have never seen such crowds. Incredible. Absolutely incredible. And so young, the demographic. He was right. The boy was right. So down to business. How much do you want for it? The website, Mikey, the website. He told me all about it. What do you mean, it's not for sale? Everything has a price, Michelangelo. Everybody has a price. In the end, everything and everybody is for sale. All right, all right, you think about it. You think about it and you give me a call when you're ready. You will be. You will be. I have decided to sit the show out, Michelangelo. This time with you. After all, what's the point in watching it, when my opinions can subsequently be cut to suit the needs of of the sales graph of a perfume? The fact is, Michelangelo, until now I've had reservations about Merlin's work, serious reservations. He's always had big ideas, but, in my view, they were the wrong ones. But now, I feel Merlin is having his moment. You could say he was a prophet in this age of AIDS and... century of terror. His clothes are shrouds. Are you crying, sweetheart? There, there. It's better to face up to things as they really are. But the truth hurts, my love, doesn't it? It was chaos out there. I think I may have... I was... I was trying to save the white sister. And... and... and there was a lot of people... Even some... some kids, who were here because a certain brother invited them here on his website/cell-phone/blog thing! You know what Macbeth said, Michelangelo? He said "My life has become a tale told by an idiot, ..."all full of sound and fury signifying nothing." I think you better start running, Michelangelo. There's blood on your hands. Listen my words, Michelangelo. There is one life only. Hmm? We got precious gift from Lord God. N... no matter if nobody speak your name on television or nothing the Lord God, he know you are there. Hmm? That's why, to him, you never invisible. OK? It's not your fault, Michelangelo. It's not your fault. Even if you invite them to come here the childrens choose to come. Everybody choose what they do. Mm-hm. It's OK, it's OK. Michelangelo. Give me that. It's, like, my turn. My mother used to say this about residency-- It takes a year to learn how to cut... It takes a lifetime to learn not to. I'm up. I'm here. What's going on? Uh, Jackson's BP, it's a little down from yesterday. No big deal, but if we make a few calls, get pushy, maybe we could get him bumped up a few spots up on the transplant list. Dr. Bailey, you-- you paged me 911 at 2:30 in the morning, uh, to chat? Uh, you... like to chat. - You're chatty. - Not at 2:30 in the morning. Look, he's young. He--he's near the top of the list. UNOS will find him his organs, when they find him his organs. And God knows that staying up all night chatting about it is not gonna help. I'm gonna go get some sleep. I suggest you do the same. He's running out of time. They always are. Welcome to peds. Of all of the tools on a surgical tray... Sound judgment is the trickiest one to master. And without it, we're all just toddlers running around with 10-blades. Oh, I asked them not to wake you. I said, "Whatever it is, it can wait till morning". "Dr. Shepherd needs his beauty sleep". Your latest head CT shows that the brain contusions are expanding. I'm gonna get you into the OR right away. This--this brain thing. It--it could kill me? If we don't treat it, yes. You find that funny? I'm sorry. It's just that they're gonna execute me in five days. Five days. Might as well take my chances with this brain thing, right? - Mr. Dunn-- - You gotta admit, it's a nice way to go. Plenty of attractive females. All the jell-o I could want. Have you tried the strawberry? - It'll change your life. - You're refusing surgery? Either way, I'm going to die, dr. Shepherd. Might as well do it on your watch. Grey's Anatomy Season 5 Episode 12 Sympathy for the Devil Why do you have to live in Meredith's attic? How am I supposed to sneak out of here with that frat party going on downstairs? Don't you kids ever sleep? They're cleaning the house for dr. Shepherd's mother. Mrs. Shepherd is coming? - To Seattle? - So? So that woman practically raised me, taught me right from wrong, and if she found out that I was... With you, that we were... You're Meredith Grey's little sister. You are forbidden fruit. You are 25. - You're a fetus. - 24. I skipped third grade. I feel dirty. 10 bucks that she tanks in the first 5 minutes. I have faith in Death. She'll make a good impression. She's holding that bottle of tequila like it's a life vest. Mer, don't listen to them. - She's gonna love you. - No. Mothers don't love me. Mothers like bright and bubbly and happy and... Izzie. Mothers love Izzie. They do. Mothers do love Izzie. My mother would've loved you. Uh, I stashed all the tequila, took the condoms out of the cookie jar. I also replaced all your trashy magazines with back issues of the "Annals of Surgery", okay? Does it smell musty in here? My mom's house smells like peppermint. - It's so homey. - My house isn't homey? - I feel at home. - I was raised in a hellhole. - This place is a palace. - Why isn't my house homey, George? I can't explain it. It's just a feeling. Well, Izzie can't fix a feeling. She is freaking out, people. Just tell her something I can fix. Rebecca peed on that couch cushion. I've been sleeping there for weeks. Thanks, Alex. You're... a good friend. You're welcome. Keep drinking. - Mark. - Hey, there you are. - Want to get a drink? It's four in the morning. - I probably, uh, shoulda called first. Hey, I hear your mom's coming into town. Good times. You'll be fine. Just keep the talking to a minimum. Short. Short little nuggets of Meredith. That's all anyone really needs. And if you start to get stuck, just smile. You have a really great smile. Ooh. That's just scary. Um, Mer, are you sure you want to wear your hair like that? You're wearing an alarmingly high ponytail. Your mother is coming. Mr. Dunn, the swelling in your brain is increasing rapidly. The longer we wait to operate, the worse it gets. Excellent. - Go, team. - I strongly suggest you reconsider surgery. Have you ever seen the inside of a maximum security prison? Believe me, if you have to die, this is the place to do it, in good company. You two will vigilantly monitor mr. Dunn's elevating ICP's. You will do hourly neuro exams. When he goes unconscious, which he will, we'll rush him to rgery. You can't do that. Can--can--can he do that? When you're unconscious and can no longer make sound medical decisions, a 2-doctor consent is all that's needed to treat you. For god sake, I'm gonna be dead as a doornail in five days. - Dr. Grey, you're a reasonable... - We're done here. Would you fix a broken television before you throw it out? He's got a point. He's trying to cheat the system, and we're not gonna let him do it. What's the problem? I have a little infection from a little surgery I had done. In Hong Kong. My crazy-ass brother went and got crazy-ass elective surgery in Hong Kong. - Who does that? - Short people. Desperate short people. I had my legs lengthened. I couldn't find a surgeon who would do it here. Look, it's barbaric, okay? They--they broke his legs and they hooked him up to some sort of medieval torture device. Yeah, that's to pull the bones apart. That's the lengthening process. It's a controversial procedure. I don't perform it myself. - Could I take a look? - Yeah. They said it'd give me 2 whole inches. Any word from UNOS? Not yet. Dr. Karev is staying in constant contact with them. How much longer will we have to wait? Are--are livers and intestines hard to find? Well, Jackson's blood type is O-positive. It shouldn't be too difficult to match. But he's had blood transfusions, which means there could be extra antibodies that are hard to match, so we need to be patient, Melinda. In the meantime, um, I need to run some tests on Jackson to check his electrolytes. We're gonna do everything we can to help your son, mrs. Prescott. All of us. You. You're squirrelly. I'm sorry? I don't trust you. I don't trust you in this hospital. And I certainly don't trust you with my patient of three years, who's extremely important. I... If you want to stay on this case, you will stay out of my way. You will do what I tell you, and if you have something to say to or about my patient, you will raise your hand and wait to be called on. You--you've got to be kidding me. Yes. This is a joke, right? Do I look like I'm laughing? You're upset. I don't get upset with patients. You're mad at me for killing those women. I get that. Would you feel differently if you knew that I was beaten as a child? Every day. It's how I learned to read. I-I used to hide under the sink and sound out the letters on the detergent box. Is that true? Did it make you feel better? Whatever helps you sleep at night, dr. Grey. Did you do something bad? Traffic violation. What's wrong with you, kid? I need a new liver and a new intestine. Yeah? You want mine? Are you in the north terminal? Well, that's where she's supposed to be. No, no, do-don't go anywhere. Just wait. Never mind. I found her. You know, there's a town car waiting for you at the airport. I don't need a fancy car. I just hopped on the bus. Saved you some money. So this cruise... You just happened to have a layover in Seattle? Well, I've always wanted to check out the Space Needle. I understand you can see mount Rainer from the top. Oh, really? Anything else you want to check out? You gonna take me or not? I got back-to-back surgeries, ma. You gotta give me a little more notice. Yeah, yeah. I gave birth to five doctors. I know the drill. I can wait, maybe meet your colleagues. - Is that Mark Sloan? - Yeah. Mark Sloan. Oh, mrs. Shepherd. You look great. Oh, damn. Catch up later? Uh, oh, perfect timing. Um, mom, this is Meredith. Meredith, finally. Hi. My son has been acting like a dog with his favorite bone, hiding you away. I hope you're free for lunch. I can't wait to dive in and find out all about you. Mer looks weird. Does she look weird to you? She looks like she's gonna pee her pants. Oh, crap. I made her hydrate. Meeting the family always blows. I'd never make you do that. Me, either. One of the many perks of dating a dead guy. Who's that lady touching Meredith? Derek's mom. Oh, that's why she looks so weird. She does not look weird, okay? I've got it under control. Mer is doing... great. Looks like she's gonna pee. Dr. Yang, you mind checking on some of my post-ops? ER is swamped with traumas. Also, would you like to go on a date with me? I'm sorry? A date. You said not to play hot and cold with you, so, um, I'll pick you up around 8:00? Oh, and make sure mr. Kenner in room 2-2-1-2 gets that enema. He's been holding on to it for days. Okay. 'Cause that wasn't weird. See, another perk of dating a dead guy. No awkward dates. 2-to-1, but who's counting? Why can't I have that nice man's organs? He offered. You know how in school, there are rules you have to follow? Well, the same goes for here. We have to follow the rules, or else we get in big trouble. And what that man offered you... was definitely against the rules. She's fighting with the insurance people again. You're not supposed to worry about stuff like that. Tell her something good today, even if nothing good happens. She needs good news. I've got a body full of-- of high-quality parts here. 3-day liquidation sale. Everything must go. Even if we could do it, you have to be a match for him. Which means we'd have to crossmatch your blood with his. Good thing we're both in a hospital then. Let--let me save a life before I go. It's the--it's the least I can do. So you really expect me to believe that you want to do this for a kid? Whatever helps you sleep at night, dr. Grey. The infection's made its way deep into the bone, so we're gonna have to take the rods out of your legs... And clean out the dead infected skin and bone. You mean I won't get my 2 inches? All that pain for nothing? Mr. Ruben, at this point, you're lucky to keep your legs at all. Yeah, that's easy for you to say. What are you, 5'10", 5'11"? Leave the doctors, alone, Chuck. They're just trying to help. Oh, shut up, Gary. You are over 6 feet tall. Do you have any idea what it's like to have everybody you know literally look down on you? Or how humiliating it is to have to ask for help from a teenager at the grocery store 'cause you can't reach the top shelf? I've gone on two dates in the last six months, both with women I met over the internet. And, hey, no one wants to see me again because no one wants to date the short guy. - Chuck-- - I wanted those 2 inches, Gary. I wanted them so bad. It's 2 inches. I mean, wh-what's the difference between 5'3" and 5'5"? 5'5" you can say out loud. Okay, I made a list of the best pediatric GIs in the country. I figure, between the two of us, we can get one of these guys to come down and do a tips procedure on him. Doing a tips on a kid who needs a new liver? - Yeah. - That--that's like putting a band-aid on a bullet wound. - Well, you have a better idea? - I do. Waiting for UNOS. Trusting the process. W-why can't you do that? Because I'm tired of waiting while this kid is getting worse. Jackson's tired. His mother is, too. The only one who's happy to sit on her ass and twiddle her thumbs and wait is you! Whoa. I have been patient with you. I have been nice. - But I am really over you... - Okay. Constantly telling me how to do my job. - Okay, somebody has to-- - I've got 20 other kids in this hospital. - I'm concerned about this one child... - Shut up! Respectfully, all right? Respectfully, shut up. Because we've got organs. I whish we could get organs delivered, instead of having to pick them up, you know? I hate flying. I always feel much closer to death on a plane than in the OR, don't you? I do now. I met Izzie the other day. She's very pretty. So you--you think she's the one? I-I don't know. Well, I mean, we're at that age, right? Marriage, babies... That the plan? I don't know! I'm sorry. I-I don't make plans, okay? If there's a future there, great. If not, whatever. I'll get over it. I always do. Okay? Okay. I think it's nice. Your date. I think you and the pig murderer make a really good couple. Okay. What are you gonna do on your date? What are you ganna talk about? - Why do you care? - Yeah, why do you care? You only get to do a first date once. It should be... fun and sexy and... ask really good questions. Ask him why he first decided he wanted to save lives. Ooh, ask him what his best surgery ever was. I know how to go on a date. Why is Meredith eating pot roast? It's a show lunch for the mommy. She's freaking out. That ponytail? It's gonna blow. Derek tells me you--you, uh, grew up right here in Seattle. Are your parents... Mm, dead. Mer's mother died last year. Oh, I'm so sorry. And your father? Oh. You know, I should go check on the patient who's the serial killer. Who's here. Not killing people, so that's good. - I should go. - Yeah. Family isn't her favorite topic, okay? She's had a rough time of it. - I didn't say a word. - I know what you're thinking. I was thinking... It must be awful for you. Treating a murderer. Dad died a long time ago. I'm fine. Grey, what are you doing? If you sleep with me, you lunch with me. New rule. You let interns sit with you at lunch, dr. Sloan? That is so cool. Oh, you want to go halfsies with me on that cookie? Uh, what are you gonna trade me for it, huh? You guys, they have Tater Tots! I have to go. Mark. Mrs. Shepherd. - You've been avoiding me. - What? No. You have that same guilty look on your face as you did when you were 10 years old. And you put Derek's favorite frog into the microwave. I never pressed "Start". What's going on? I'm sleeping with her. Oh, Mark! Not again. - How could you? - No, no. No, not Meredith. God, no. Meredith's little sister. Which one is she? The, uh, the... one with the juice box. Are my new organs here yet? Mm, not yet. But we're gonna get you all prepped now. So that we can put them in as soon as they get here. When you wake up, you're gonna be a brand-new boy with brand-new parts. I can't believe this is it. The thought of us getting to live our lives outside of this hospital... Don't get me wrong, Miranda, I love our chats. But it'll be nice not to see my face every day? So freakin' nice. He's just a kid. Yep. Let's go get his organs. Am I hallucinating, or is that a really high ponytail? You're not hallucinating. But once your brain starts to herniate, I can't promise anything. So I'm really circling the drain here? You should just take my organs right now, help that poor kid. Oh, they found him organs. They're flying them over right now. He's gonna be fine. Did you know that they let you choose? Hanging or lethal. You get to pick your poison, literally. Which one would you choose? Medically speaking, which one's... Better? Well, with hanging, your neck breaks, which severs your spinal cord, which causes your blood pressure to drop to nothing, and you lose consciousness. You don't actually die for several minutes. And with lethal injection, they inject an anesthetic first, which puts you to sleep, and then a paralytic, which stops your diaphragm and your lungs, and then potassium, which stops your heart. Was, um... Was I a match? Yes, you were. Can I help you with something? Were you looking for dr. Shep-- Are you a good girl? I-- What? A good girl. I don't mean perfect. I mean... Relatively speaking. - Are you? - Yes. How many sexual partners have you had? I won't judge. Six. No, s-seven. K-kinda six. But kinda seven. - Criminal record? - Speeding ticket. - How fast? - 12 miles over. That's fast. Well, it wasn't too-- it wa-- it was way too fast. But I was- - I was downhill and I was- - I was- - I was coasting, ma'am. Now I don't suppose you can tell me... Where the gift shop is? First floor, east wing. It's like pudding in here. This is exactly why I don't do this procedure. I mean, you're living with broken legs for months. You're in excruciating pain. God, all for a few inches. Pain and agony for a little bit of pleasure. I get it. If it's that bad, why don't you just stop sleep-- - Doing what you're doing? - Because it doesn't feel bad when I'm... Doing it. It's good. It's great. And maybe if you weren't so scared of getting burned, you'd feel the same. You know, I used to walk tall around here. I used to walk tall. Then... Came George. He took off at least an inch. Then Erica went and left me. That shaved off a few more. I got shorter. All that humiliation, it makes you shorter. So, yeah, I am scared of getting hurt because one more personal disaster right now would cut me off at the knees. So, uh, Valentine's day? Personally, I mean, I think you can't go wrong with jewelry. - If you want, I can recommend some local plac-- - What is wrong with you? What? We just took a liver and an intestine from a little kid. A dead little kid. And you don't even care. You're talking about rainbows and relationships and crap. What the hell is wrong with you? You don't think that I know that they just pulled the plug on a kid? Sir? - Okay. - Cameron? - Yes, babe? - Cameron? Is he gonna be all right? Yeah, babe. Babe, listen to me. Yeah, he's gonna be okay. I need you. You know what? But I need you. I need you. Come on, baby. Come on. Come on, come on, come on. I need you. I need you, all right? I need you this time. I need you, okay? - I need your help, all right? - Okay. - I need you. All right. - Oh, God. Oh, God. Okay. - It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. - Oh, God. - Sela, come here. Come on. - Okay, You need to put the pressure on this wound, okay? - Okay, okay. - All right? Are you okay? - I'm okay. - All right. Yeah. - You hold that pressure, he'll be all right. - Okay, okay, okay. Help. - Nancy, no. - I'll be right there, okay? Don't you... - It hurts. It hurts. - Okay, I know... Get away from her. Move away. I'm sorry. I can't do that. You did what you did. Now I do what I do. Suit yourself. Hey! He's down. Secure the suspect. Oh, my God. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. Kevlar. I got a vest. See? Hey, I thought I told you guys to stay put. Her fault. We need to check for other victims. Pete, take this floor. John, you're with me. Don't you die. Don't you die on me. Come on. You're gonna live and see what you did. You're gonna live. Come on. Don't you die. Come on. Don't you die. - Let's do it. - Shooter's dead. - I'm glad your wife's all right. - Yes, sir. Hey, I got it. I know. You don't have to say it. You don't have to say it. It's okay. It's okay, babe. It's okay. Okay. I'm so glad you came. I'm so glad you... Oh, babe. What were you doing here anyway? Um... Mandora Schwartz attorneys at law Ma, nothing to worry about. I spent the day sitting on a rooftop playing sudoku on my phone. - You can do that? I need a new phone. - Yeah. I got to go, mom. Call you later. Well, well, well. I heard you took a bullet. Do you know how pissed I am that I wasn't there to see that? Bunch of us are dropping by the cove, try and wipe the day away. You gonna come? Nah. The thing about a drink after the battle is you got to be in the battle. So I'm gonna go home, take a hot bath, and play the most violent video game I can find. - Later. - Later. Hey, I'm glad you're not dead, butt-head. Me too. The rampage left 12 dead, 23 wounded, and many still in critical condition. The alledged gunman, a former I.T. advisor at the company, was evidently embittered over being recently let go Due to company downsizing. He apparently entered the building... that was insane. Yes, Glenn. A man walking into a building and shooting people in the head is the definition of insane. They give you a nickname over at the station yet? We'll call you "dictionary." You walking around here defining things. I'm just dicking with you, man. That was a thick one out there. You think that was insane, shoulda been at Katrina. You were there? Yep. You know, before I touched down here, I moved around a lot. New Orleans, New York, Chicago. Been here the longest. Ah! Hold on. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Ahh. Yo? I'm stripes. That's right. What? You're kidding me. No, no, I can't switch shifts with you. I've been drinking. Oh, you could tell? All right. All right, thank you very much. All right. I've never seen anything like that, Tyler. That's all I'm saying. Well, you're right. It was insane. All right, Cory. Tony, please? Just keep 'em coming. You know, I could be wrong, But I think they call that self-medicating. I'm a trained professional. - I'll have what he's having, Tony. - You don't want what he's having. - Just pour it, Tony. - Come on, Tony. Come on. - Okay, okay. I thought you were turning over a new leaf. Yeah, I nearly died today, Rabbit. And you saved my life. I guess, um... we're even. Is that you want to be? Even? All accounts closed. Everything tied up. Nothing complicated. I... I... don't know. Yeah, neither do I. Thank you. Tony. Previously on rescue me... What if you never see him again? And I also started drinking again. But let me explain. - And that is so stupid. - It's--it's not stupid. I got--I figured it out. I have a system.I can control it. Hook a brother up with a long island iced tea. - Who's gonna know? - I will. Besides, I told your mom I'm watching out for you. I'm not gonna send you to school in the morning all hungover and shit. You know, you're already playing catch up as it is, dame. And, um, do you want to come? Are you--are you asking me out on a date? - I should buy you a drink. - We're opening our bar tonight. - Well, I'll see you later. - Ok. - Bye. - Bye bye. What you're telling me as my best friend is that not in a million years would this girl ever think about - taking me to bed, right? - Never.Never! - The reptilian, repugnant creature that I am. - Your words, your words. I have been a goddamn fool. Because all these years, tom, i thought that we were friends, and we're not. You don't have to worry about teddy anymore. You know how he was banged up after your father died. Right. He's running around volunteering at every single V.A.Hospital there is. It's not right when the man in the relationship knows less in the sack than his lady does. I gotta get out of this. Yeah, well, what are you gonna do about the father? How do I tell tommy his daughter's a slut? By phone.From another state. How much is it to pop the kidney out? Well, you're insured through the fire department, right? No, see, I can't use my insurance company. I don't want the fire department to know. It seems that our mademoiselle doesn't really like our mr. Gavin so much to the degree that she was willing to engage me in a good old-fashioned grudge hump. All right, bitches, all set outside. Let's wrap it up in here and go hit the strip club. - Yeah, baby. - Oh, my god. Franco, we just did a full tour in the firehouse. We had 5 fires in 2 days, and now you're talking about tits and ass? That's all you can talk about? Jesus. Um, actually, yes. Not to mention, scores serves sandwiches till closing time. - Really? - Yeah, really. All right, let's hurry up and get over there. My man. Yo, yo, yo, bro. We're closed, man. I hear this is the hottest joint downtown. Models and good tunes. Yeah, between the hours of 10:00 and 3:30, ok? Some come back tomorrow. Ok.Sorry. Goddamn.Guys, I'm gonna need somebody else on the door if black shawn ain't coming back, ok. You know, got to get somebody to work for him tomorrow down at the firehouse. So, wait, he's still not back at work? Nobody knows where he is? I got a message from him saying he's up in boston. I know he's got a cousin in the department up there. He hasn't called colleen. She's out of her mind. You know something, if we keep covering for him like this, needles finds out, asshole mode he's in, trouble in river city. I hope he's not pulling this disappearing act because, you know, he knows I found out about what went on with him and colleen. What? Guys, I know. We work in a firehouse. I know everything you guys know. All right, and believe me, I say this as a dad. You know, no dad could be prouder to find out that his daughter is terrible in bed. - Right. - That's right. - Yeah. - You know what, to colleen. May she continue to make tommy's life miserable for many, many, many more years to come. Here, here. Mike, do me a favor.Call shawn in the morning, will you, find out what's going on. Ok. Holy shit, guys. Another 8 grandioso. - Oh, yeah. - Really? Awesome. Nice. You know, we gotta give some of this to charity, don't you think? Yeah, that's a good idea. That's a good idea, right? Hey, charity. Yeah. Yeah, let's not do that. That sucks. What's wrong with you? You know, guys, my mother made all this possible. You know, maybe we should give it to like a cancer charity or something. Yeah.Yeah, that is a really good idea, actually. Well, wait a second, shitbird. I thought you said we we weren't doing it. Hey, come on. A little, you know--jesus. I mean, people with cancer, they have issues, franc. Jesus christ. You know what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna take a little bit of this, and I'm going to make a donation in mike's mom's name. Whoa, whoa, hold up.Before you give all our money away, - what kind of cancer are we giving to? - Yeah. I don't know, ass, face, skin, brains, all of it. - Cock? - Cock and balls.Everything. All right, I'm in. Sweet. What about dogs with cancer? Hey, dogs are welcome. - All right, I'm in. - Sweet. Breasts? Breast cancer.How about that? Oh, yeah. Well, what? I mean, we're going to a titty bar. It's like an investment, you know. I got it, cat cancer. Titty bar made me think of pussy and, you know. All set downstairs, boys. Hey, derek, we're creating a special slush fund for cancer research.You want in? Cock, tits, ass, animal, all taken. What about the liver? - I'll drink to that. - Duh. Yeah. Of course, the liver. Come on, boys, belly up. Toast to us. Uh, derek and tommy, I'm gonna pour you guys a little shot of ginger ale since you're girly boys who can't handle your booze. To us, gents. To, uh, garbage bags full of cash. To liver cancer. - Here. - Cheers.Bam. Let's go, boys.The strippers aren't going to shove dollar bills between their own jugs. You know, you guys go ahead.I'm gonna stay and, you know, close up shop, take care of the money. No, it's ok, I got it. Don't worry about it. No, no, it's fine. I got like a place where I hide it. It's very secretive, you know. Yeah, well, I'm gonna keep it at lou's place. So it's not a big thing. All right, but I know how to retain it and everything.It's my job. - You know what I mean, it's my job. - It's not your job tonight. I got it. Ok? - You got it? - I just said I got it. Ok. All right, you got it. You guys go ahead. Have a good time at scores. All right? And, you know, I can give you guys a couple of tips that will actually help you guys out there. - Yeah? - Yeah. When you get to the strip club, instead of going inside, just bang your head against the wall outside, take the money out of your pocket, and light it on fire. You'll still wake up in the morning with a raging headache, your dick in your hand, and no money, but at least you won't be late for work. See you. We're going to be late for work tomorrow. Yeah, that's what I figured. - Bye, asshole. - See you, douchebag. King of the douchebags, ok. My title deserves a little respect. Yeah, whatever. You all set? I ain't gonna go to scores. You want me to stay? No, no, I'm good. You sure? You're gonna be by yourself in a room full of booze. Yeah, I'm good. - You sure? - I'm your sponsor. Come on, i know what I'm talking about. Yeah, but bottom line, tommy, we're both just a couple of drunks. Yeah, but I'm a higher ranking drunk than you, so if A.A.Was like an army, I'd be a 5-star general, and you're just a grunt. Take it as an order. I'm fine. Get out of here. - Yes, sir. - All right.Bye. Rescue Me Season 5 Episode 08 I love you. I always loved you. I know I never told you often enough. You were the best goddamn center fielder in high school. And on ice, heh heh, tough as nails. Not to mention the way you fight fire. You put every other fireman I ever knew to absolute goddamn shame. I should have said this shit when I was alive. But hell, I'm saying it now. You are the best goddamn son a father could ever hope for. You happy now? - Yeah. - Well, get over it. Because if you believe all that, I got some land down in florida I might want to sell you. Now give me a goddamn drink. Middletons, not that bottom shelf shit. He was a pretty good center fielder. No bat, hell of a glove. I'll take the bottom shelf shit. - Jameson'S. - What is that with you? Budweiser, jameson's, always the low-rent shit. Hey, you know what, I like the way it tastes. I could give a shit about what people think. He's a great fireman. No bustin' balls. He's too risky. Gets the job done. You know how many people would be dead but for him breaking rules, taking chances? Lot of kids would be on this side of the bar. Most guys, they play it safe. Him, he pushes the envelope. Like, um, what's his name? Who's that quarterback? He used to scramble around like a goddamn maniac. Doug flutie? He's the doug flutie of fire? That's funny, dad. Hey, flutie, where we you on 9/11? Yeah, doug, where were you? Don't give me that, you know, "if only I knew that you were running into the second tower" bullshit. I only ran in because-- well, because it was the next goddamn job. But you, i can't figure it out. What were you waiting for? Too much of a goddamn pussy to go in? First tower comes down, they're yelling, "pull out! Pull out!" All I know is if you're a fireman and you ain't carrying someone else and you've still got 2 legs and 2 goddamn feet, you move on to the next goddamn job. Doug flutie, my ass. Doug flutie would have run in. No balls, tom. No balls at all. - I was looking for you, asshole. - Why, huh? - Jesus christ. - Holy shit. Don't tell me you were afraid. - What? - He was afraid. - I was worried. - About what? - You. - Me? 600, 700 fire fighters in there. Thousands of other people needing to be rescued. You worried about me? - You were scared. - Shut up. No, you were scared to go into the second tower on your own. I think you were afraid to go up the first time, so you were hoping that you could find some bullshit reason so you could stay downstairs. Makes all kinds of sense right now. This is it, right? This is it, pops.This is it, ain't it? - That ain't it. - This is it. This is the nail right on the goddamn head. - I'm warning you, johnny. - Warning me how? This makes perfect, complete sense here. Wait, wait, you didn't want to go in, tom? Of course I wanted to go in. You didn't want to go in. Holy shit. Shut your fat cop face, johnny, ok. - You don't know shit about it. - Why? 'Cause you're a cop. You don't know shit about it. I know a bullshit rap when i hear it. I swear on my kids' souls, johnny. You're a goddamn coward. All this show. All the balls. All the bravado. Running in like a madman. Tommy "goddamn" gavin, the firefighter with the biggest cock on the goddamn block. You know what, it's all bullshit, bro. You know why? 'Cause the one day-- the one goddamn day that your department, that your crew, that your goddamn country needed you the most, you froze up like a goddamn needle-ass little dick. Anybody else want some? You're all right, you're all right. It's all right. It's all right.Get up. I wish you boys could learn to get along. Jeez. When we were riding down in the rig that morning, I think we were figuring out what we were gonna do. I was ok, so was he. Getting off the rig, fine. Going in, going up, coming out, the first couple of saves, all good. Even as the building... was coming down. The rumble, all instinct. Run, roll, cover, fine. But after... rubbed all that shit out of my eyes, out of my ears, couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything. You never told us what to do after, did you? Running up the beach on d-day, huh? Guys on the left of you, the right of you getting their heads blown off. You kept running up the beach. Hitler's holy hell. We heard all about that, right? D-day. The marching to berlin. Goddamn concentration camps. Going in, freeing everybody up. We heard all about that. Goddamn hero. Goddamn decorated hero. What were we supposed to do after? You never told us what you did after. Far as I could tell, you just keep your goddamn mouth shut unless you're opening it to pour booze in. And you cheat on your wife. That's all i knew about after, you asshole. You goddamn son of a bitch. Goddamn teddy, vietnam. Goddamn million gooks dead, 50,000 americans. Goddamn won the war. What did he do when he came home? After? Drink, fight, cheat on his wife. I ain't no goddamn coward. I got goddamn medals out the ass, asshole. Proves I'm a hero. God, bombs going off, buildings coming down. I know exactly what to do. If it happened right now, if this bar blew up, I'd know exactly what to do. Kids, marriage. That's where--that's where I suck. That's where I really suck. That shit... that scares the balls off of me. Here I am after, surrounded by booze and dead assholes. Thanks. Get up slow. Ok. This is how it's gonna go. You're gonna take that bag of cash I saw earlier. Yeah. You're gonna hand it over to me. And if you so much as twitch a muscle while you're doing it, I'm gonna blow your goddamn head off. - Capiche? - Ok. Listen to me, there's no cash with me. They took the bag with them when they¡ª Asshole, I saw them leave. No bag. Get it.Now. Ok. We have security cameras in here, you know. You don't got shit. You're running an illegal joint under the table and off the books, asshole. - Nice and easy. - Ok. Ok, take the money out of the bag. Put it down so I can see it. And you're gonna put it back in. Very slowly. If you play your cards right, I'm going to leave quietly, and you're not going to tell anybody about this, because reporting a robbery of unreported income would be insane. As would doing anything other than what I just told you. Right. - How much of this should-- - Just keep it coming. Putting it right here. Nice. Shit. Just take the money. Can you hear me? Hey. Hey. Jesus christ. You want to be a hero, asshole? You want to be a goddamn hero? Guess I do. Jesus, dad. You shot my insides out. Asshole. That's your own goddamn kid. Shit. Classic. Killed your own kid, tom. Shit, stay away from damian, will you? What the hell, dad? Connor? Yeah. Shit. Look at me. He doesn't get it, kid. This is what he would have been. Shit, it might be what he is. He's a junkie. I'm telling you, tommy, stay away from my kid. Shut up. I'm back, dad. I'm here. I'm a junkie. I need that cash. He's a goddamn junkie. - This is beautiful. - Oh, tommy. He's a junkie. - That's what you get. - That's perfect. Shut up. Your kid's a freakin' junkie. Knock it off. He's a junkie. That's what you get, tommy. Hey, tom, it's lou. You want to talk about anything? ? Garrity went nuts about the money. Worried. I realized I forgot my wallet. To be honest, I felt bad about leaving you to clean up in a room full of booze. So much temptation. In the cab on the way back there, I realized, wouldn't it be awesome if tommy was just sitting at the bar drinking himself silly when I got there? I like when you drink. And lo and behold, my wish came true. Although silly ain't exactly what I saw. Sober, you're a great fireman and a selfish, spiteful, hit the nail on the head, no bullshit kind of a guy. Drunk, you're a great fireman and a selfish, spiteful, hit the nail on the head kind of guy, but funny. And I like funny. So I say we keep the booze and we lose the guns. I know you've got demons jumping out of your head, I just don't want you shooting at them. We'll tell the guys you saw rats the size of michael moore running around the joint. You know, which means, of course, that they were big and wearing little baseball caps, and they were also in favor of gun control laws. All right. I just want to say--ahem-- thanks for tonight. And, uh, ahem, I take back all those nasty things I said when we were having that, uh, tiff the other... I didn't mean all that stuff. Ok. You're really the best friend a guy could ever have. Water under the bridge, pal. What? The things that you said? What about them? Do you take them back? No.No, I meant every goddamn word of it. You don't want to take back any of that? Nope. Nope. Ok. Oh, and, uh, I slept with frenchie. I'm sorry, what? I slept with frenchie. And I got the note to prove it. You're carrying that around with you? Wouldn't you? Jeez, it sounds like the end of the world down here. Jesus, he's pounding the leather off that thing. Hey. - Hey. - Hey. You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? Yeah, no more spic jokes. No, F.D.N.Y. Boxing team. We get him in the ring, we get some side action going, pick up a little extra cabbage. I mean, with me and you coaching him, we'll clean up. Whatever happened to no more mr. Nice guy, you guys don't give me any respect, buh-buh-buh? That's the job. This is a chance to make money. And for that, I will revert back to my happy-go-lucky whore self. Just, uh, think he'll go for it? Can't hurt to ask. Christ, let's let him finish up first. - You gavin? - Yep. - On your break? - Sorta. It's hard work, ain't it? Hey, I'm just happy to help out. That's what I hear. So, uh, can you do me? Pardon? What you did for lester, i want it done. I didn't do anything to lester. Look, he's right over there. I sit alone in a room all day praying for death to come. You got to do this for me. Please. Listen to me. I killed 5 men in my life. 4 of them had slanty eyes and were shooting at me and my buddies. The other one was a drunk driver who ran over my 10-year-old nephew. They all had it coming. But I'll be goddamned if I'm gonna kill a war hero, a brother in arms. I just won't do it. Then you're a fag. Say that again, war hero or not, I'll kill you. You are a fag. Ok, all right. We're on. 5 goddamn miles. You know, i nearly had a heart attack. My legs feel like jell-O. Oh, that's all right, dude. You'll get used to it. Yeah, when? Uh, depends on you. You're pretty good with that thing. I'm ok. No, seriously, dude. When did you learn? I started taking lessons a while ago. This and voice. Voice? Yeah, you know, like singing lessons. Dude, if you tell any of the guys at the house, I swear to god, I'll kick your ass. Nah, your secret's safe with me. - So sing something. - I don't know, dude. I never, like, really sang in front of anybody except my vocal coach and, like, my band. You got a band? Yeah, yeah, a couple of N.Y.U.Music grad students i picked up. So if you got a band, you're probably pretty good by now, right? Yeah, listen, you know, like sean's sleeping in the other room and he's got the flu and stuff. Oh, come on.See, now you're just making excuses. I mean, how are you going to sing to a stadium full of people if you can't even sing to me in this room? I guess you're right. I mean, there is this one tune I've kind of been working pretty hard on, like, that I wrote. Ok, so sing it. - All right, but my chord progression's-- - Blah blah blah. - Just get on with the freakin' thing. - All right, all right. I'll--I'll do like a verse or something. * Nothing left to look at but what lies inside me, * * my first reality cannot take what lies ahead, * * clear the path of destination is what you once... * What? That was good. - Yeah? - Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know, I was ready to earn an academy award nomination trying to mask my horror over how badly it sucked, but it's actually pretty decent. Thanks, bro. You mind if I take a crack at it? Yeah, knock yourself out, bro. All right. Holy shit, you got skills. * Left to look at but what lies inside me, * * my first reality * dude, you go to be in my band, bro. - That was sick. - Count me in, bro. - Holy shit, bro. - What are you guys called? - Hot lunch. - Count me out, bro. - What? - Hot lunch? - Are you serious? - Yeah. You know what a hot lunch is, right? Yeah, like salisbury steak, like taco tuesday. No, no, it's not like salisbury steak. It's like a euphemism for a sexual term. It's like when you're doing a chick and she takes a dump on you. - No way. - Yes way.Like a cleveland steamer. - What's that? - Same thing. Dude, I guess I'm never gonna go to cleveland. I gotta take a piss. Sean, are you all right, dude? Yeah. He don't look too good. You think I should, like, make him some tea or something? Oh, my god. Sean.Sean, you all right? Holy shit, mike, he's pissing blood. All right, call an ambulance. Sean? - Hey, franc. - Hey. Lot of iron on that bar. What is that, 200, 240? Oh, I don't know, maybe 280 on a good day. Animale, this kid, huh? Yeah. Got a proposition for you, franco. Yeah? Well, I'm very flattered, lou, but I don't believe in gay marriage. - Hilarious. - This kid cracks me up. No.Now look, we saw you beating the heavy bag into submission the other day. We were wondering, maybe you ever thought about stepping into the ring. - Boxing? - No, bullfighting. What are you doing? Look, I cornered a couple of fighters back in the day, and i think you got potential. - You got a thunderous left. - Thanks, lou. You, uh, you used to be a boxing trainer? Yeah, indeed I was. I took joltin' joel johansson to the department title back in '86. He had a brief but minorly successful golden gloves run. No shit. You guys talking about slow joel johansson? Want to mind your business, tommy? We're talking here. Who's, uh, who's slow joel? You know joel.He comes by the house a couple times a year.He's got the pushed-in nose, scars under the eyes. Wears the pull-down wool cap. Talks like marlee matlin. Oh.Oh, that guy is jolting' joel johansson? Was joltin' joel, is slow joel. Hey, it's not my fault he kept dropping his goddamn hands like sugar ray leonard. The guy was an ape trying to be a hot dog. But you're smarter than that, franco.You can move. And lou made a lot of money with jolting' joel. I mean, the side action on these fights are over the moon. Yeah. And now he shits his pants twice a day. Tommy, why don't you go be a pain in the ass somewhere else? We're talking here. Ok.Don't forget to mention the glass eye. Uh, the what? It's totally unrelated.He got excited, hit himself in the face with a fork. Joel loved a good meal. What do you think? I don't know, guys. I've been in the ring before, you know, lou. Think I'll just stick to hitting the heavy bag. Bag don't hit back if you know what i mean. Ah, come on.I'm serious here, franco, you got real talent. This could be huge with the right guidance. Yeah.Well, you know, I'm just not to keen on messing with the catnip, you know. End up looking like mickey rourke. He looked good in sin city. He was animated. Look, franc, man was not meant to hit 80 pounds of sand hanging from a ceiling. They were meant to hit other men. Want to deny yourself the opportunity of venting all that rage and frustration you have over bush and 9/11 out on another living human being? And you could imagine bush's face on the head of your opponent just before you cave it in. Yeah, if it's such a good idea, how come you don't step into the ring, huh? 'Cause I'm a pussy. But you, my giant latin friend, you are one thick spic. I mean, the very sight of you strikes fear in the hearts of men. Me included. If I wasn't your superior officer, would I be saying any of this to you right now? If you weren't my superior officer, I'd be pounding the shit out of your right now. That's the killer instinct a good fighter needs. So what do you think, franc? Can I wear head gear? You can wear a dress and a jogging bra for all I care.Just say yes. Yes. Yeah, I swear to god, guys, if good old nielsy didn't cut the wheel and nail the brakes just at the right time, there'd be like 4 people dead. Nielsy's one of the finest wheel men on the job. Yeah, he's like B.J. And the bear minus the monkey. I'd like to get a monkey. Man, I'd love to be a driver. Well, usually just senior guys drive, kid. Now that there's so few of us left, newbies can take the course in maybe 2 or 3 years. Oh, would that mean he wouldn't have to go into the fire? That part of his job is a little hard to get around. Well, it doesn't hurt to ask. Maybe once he graduates probie school, I can put in a good word. Have him assigned to this house. Keep him in good hands. You, sidney, are too sweet. He's a good kid. Certainly comes from fine stock. And you can call me sidney. I already did. How about i call you big cutie? Like, big cutie, have some more treats. - Thank you. - Hey, tom. Sheila brought us rice crispy treats. The guys are giving me a little fire fighter tutorial. Damian wants to drive the rig when he gets on the job. Why don't you graduate first before you start picking out a goddamn locker, ok, punk. Come on, tommy, he's gonna graduate. Yeah, his instructor says that he's already top of the class so far. What are you, 3 weeks in? Stretching hose and doing physical training. Got some guy that used to look up to your old man helping you put on your bunker gear every day. Wait till they stick your narrow ass in the smokehouse, ok, or you're roasting at 1,500 degrees in the goddamn flashover stimulator. Then we'll see how big your balls are. Hey, asshole. I'm sorry, big cutie. Listen, why don't you back off my son. Because this ain't goddamn summer camp, ok, sweetie. And if I'm not mistaken, chief, isn't there a rule against social calls in the firehouse? Don't be a stickler, tommy. Here, have a treat. No thanks. Ok, duty calls. - Hey, can I ride along? - No. Oh, come on, chief, let the kid ride. It'll be good for him. - Only if his mother says it's ok. - Uh, it's ok. You stay clear of the action, ok? Understood? - Yeah, understood. - Ok. - This is ridiculous. - You, thank you very much for coming. - Come anytime you want. - I will, I promise. I promise. Can I ride on the rig with you guys? Hey, chief, can the kid ride in the rig? Sure, go ahead. Bobby, you ride with me. Why do I got to ride in the suburban? 'Cause I said so. Come on, you big mutant. I thought you were going over in that thing. No, I'm riding in the rig. The chief said it's ok. Ok.Well, keep your hands to yourself, don't touch anything hot. If your kid's in trouble, I'm not looking out for him. He gets in trouble, mike's gonna watch after him. Oh, really? I guess he's in trouble already. Oh, whoa. What the hell is this? Did you ok this, chief? It's ok. Don't worry about it. - I love you. - Love you, too. Hey, check out salt and pepper over there. Wouldn't mind those two on a sandwich. Almost never happens. You know that almost never happens. - Hey, where's garrity? - He's got the flu.' Missing black shawn, now we're missing white shawn. We're 2 shawns down. We had to take him to the hospital.White shawn. - For the flu? - He was pissing blood, dude. Nah, nah, you don't piss blood when you got the flu. You piss blood when you got something like gonorrhea. You do? Me? No.No, no, no. I never have. That's what I heard happens to people who have gonorrhea, which I've never had.Obviously. I think he had gonorrhea. Once, ok. Jesus, just once. One and a half times. The second time doesn't count because I was just a carrier. - Dude, that was awesome. - Ahh, we did all right. The engine had a dry hydrant which delayed our primary searches, which is why the chief had to call a second alarm.but, most of the apartments above were vacant, which is why we didn't find any roasts. - Roasts? - Dead guys. Oh, yeah, roasts. Hey, let me get in there, you know, check out the damage. No, I don't think so. Oh, come on, mike. Let me in there. I mean, the stimulator at school, it's for pussies. Let me see what this bitch can really do. All right. Here, suit up. Listen, whatever you do, keep this mask on, you hear me? Because if you get in trouble, then I get in big time trouble. - I'm not gonna get you in trouble. - No, that's right. You're not going to get me in trouble because if you get in trouble, then I'm going to get in big time trouble. And if I get in big time trouble, then you-- what are we talking about? Let's go. It stinks in here. You'll get used to it.In fact, there will be times you find yourself craving that stink, like it's a drug or something. Watch your head. Usually a fire like this, it's either a torch job or it was initiated by something stupid, you know, something small like a cigarette or a candle. This burn, classic case of jewish lighting. - What's that? - Arson. Torch must have gassed the shit out of the stairwell, because by the time we got here, all the floors were fully involved and the flame was coming out through the bulkhead on the roof. - Where you going? - Upper floors. - I don't know. - What, you scared? - Kinda. - Good.Let's go. So the engine will come in and do the final douche once we open up the cockloft and check for any hidden flame, then we could take up, head home, and get some r and R. Can we get a long island iced tea after the shift? Hey, don't push your luck, buddy. Hey, tommy, want to join me up here? Shit. Come on. Here, get in here, and I'll come back for you, all right. - Let me go talk to these guys. - Wait, do-- If anyone comes in, just act like you're working or something. Wait, mike. Mikey, where are you? - Hey, what's up? - Get over here, will you? I got too many irons. Go right over there, give the ceiling a pull, will you? Basic business principles went right down the drain on this thing. You're fired! Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd Keep doing the exercises and take three of the supplements a day. It really should help your back. Yeah, I'm gonna be back in the office today. Okay, great. Bye. You're going back to work? Well, we talked about this. It's been a month. You said you were ready. But if... oh, no, no. Right, right. You're right. You're right. You should go back to work. Hey, I put down the new rug. Oh, good. Do you like it? 'Cause I can get something else. It's fine. I just didn't know if you'd like it. It's fine. It's fine. It's for covering blood. It doesn't have to match the drapes. You want to hold him? He's fed, changed and burped... happy. It's the perfect time. Well, you... you've got him. Violet... Okay, breathe in and out. Shh, shh, shh. Remember what we said? This time, you're just gonna breathe in and out. You're just gonna stand there and wait. Shh. I can't. I can't. I can't. No... yes, you're just gonna stand there and wait until I open the door. Breathe in and out. Do not go in... The closet. I told you, don't ring the bell. Oh, oh. Did I wake him? No. She's in the closet again. Don't worry. I'm handling it. Yeah, no, no. I can... I can see that. Look, this really isn't a good time. Could I at least say hello to Violet and the baby? You know, since I might be his father. I'm sorry, but this really isn't a good time. Well... That was Sheldon. The rug is stained. Well, better coffee than blood, huh? You know what? I'm not gonna go back to work yet. You're not ready. You're looking at me like I have crazy head. And I don't. I don't have crazy head. I'm fine. Go back to work. You haven't been out of the house. You don't answer the door. I'm... I'm fine. You never want to hold the baby. Well, give me the baby. Pete, give me the baby. All right, Pete, you... you... you are understandably concerned because you're not sure of what's going on, so I'm gonna explain it to you. I am suffering from panic attacks, sleeplessness, agoraphobia and fear... all within the windows of behavior one expects from trauma victims. However I... I'm not cognitively altered, I am not utilizing unhealthy outlets for my feelings, such as drugs or inappropriate behaviors. I am aware of my condition and feel a normal amount of concern for my well-being. I display few signs of improvement, but... but I also display no signs of dintegration. I have the number of two therapists, the housekeeper is coming by, and the baby can fit in the closet with me. More importantly, I am a Harvard-educated medical profsional with 14 years of clinical experience of trauma and depression. So believe me when I am telling you that I do not have crazy head. Now I'm holding the baby. Go to work. We'll be fine. Watch out... Morning. Morning. Good shoes. Thanks. Yours, too. Oh, can you... Oh, yeah, yeah. Press 4? Thanks. How's it going there? It's great. It's really great. I redecorated. Oh. Good. How's it going up there? Fine. Yeah? Hey, what ever happened with that guy? What guy? The... the heart guy. The one you really liked, but he was married and his wife was your patient. What was his name? Noah. Yeah, Noah. Noah. What happened? You never told me. Nothing. I, uh, did the right thing. Good. That's... that's good. Okay. Well... I'll see you later. Because, Sam, it is time. Time for what? Cooper thinks we should hire a new doctor. I think it's time we move on. I just don't want to rush into anything. When we find... if we find someone, I want it to be the right person. Addison, explain to the man that married his college sweetheart that the best way to get over a breakup is to move fast, throw yourself into a relationship. I mean, drunken, impulsive rebound hiring. Naomi is gone, man. You gotta let it go. What is wrong with you two? What? We made a pact. Addison and I are ignoring our problems. We are not going to talk or think about our problems anymore. Nothing even closethinking or talking about our problems. We're gonna be strong. Strong. In denial, but strong. Strong. Yeah, well, that's, um, you know... stupid. You need to talk about stuff. Really? Mm-hmm. Okay, well, how's Violet, Coop? Good. She's good. Is she? Uh-huh. Leave me alone. I've sent stuff. I've sent brownies and flowers and some very thoughtfully worded e-mails. I will get to Violet's. I'm giving her some space. Oh, okay, you know what? I gotta get to the E.R. You two don't talk about me while I'm gone, okay? It's rude. Oh, you waited for me. I like dating the chief of staff. I get special service. What do you got for me? One of my patients put a marble in his nose? Not exactly. 11 year old's dad threw her across the room, probably broke her arm. Mom looked like she was in a prizefight. Dad won the first round, but mom threw the knockout. Fun times. Wait a minute. The Larsens? My Larsens? Tammy and her parents? Page Sam... and Addison. Michelle's pregnant. Dad? I stabbed him. I stabbed my husband. We're gonna get you in a cast later. You can have everybody sign it. You're just gonna have to be prepared for a little bit of itching, okay? All right. You want to talk about it? No. I can't. All right. Okay. I know it feels that way, but, um, you gotta believe me. There's a lot of people that want to help you. Okay. Well, maybe later. All right? You still playing soccer? Yeah. Starting fullback. Oh, yeah? Starting fullback. That's, uh... Yeah, see, I don't know anything about soccer. You could ask me about basketball. I'm good with the basketball. Invented by a doctor, probably to get more patients, 'cause, you know, basketball injuries. Is my dad gonna be okay? Dr. Bennett's taking care of him. He's in good hands. Okay, so crits are stable. Fast scan is negative. He's got some bruising behind his left ear, so we'll also need a head C.T. Thanks, man. Sam... It looks okay? Uh, you've got a stab wound to your abdomen. If you ask me, you're lucky that's all you got. What about Tammy and... and Michelle? Is the baby okay? Oh, so you're worried about them now? A little bit late for that, don't you think? So he says, "she's not dead. She's just electroencephalographically challenged." So it looks like everybody is settling in. Yes. Thank you, Dr. Bennett. It's good to be here. Okay. Well, if you, uh, need anything, just let me know. My door is always open. Interesting dynamic. Even a group of top-notch, einstein-type professionals feel the urge to get out of the room when the boss comes in. Oh, well... they'll warm up once we all get to know each other. Yeah. So have you had the chance to see Violet and Luke? Pete's been telling me it's a bad time, politely, as he blocks the door and refuses to let me pass. H... has he said anything to you? Um, they're... kinda not talking to me up there. But, uh, Addison and I actually had a real conversation this morning, so hopefully things will get back to normal soon. What? Nothing, nothing. It's just... well, another interesting dynamic. You being my new boss, I'm hesitant to point out that it... it might not be that easy. Heartbeat looks normal for 10 weeks. No evidence of bleeding from the trauma. So the baby's okay? Looks fine. Michelle, does this kind of thing happen often, Darren hitting Tammy, hitting you? It was an accident. I want to see my daughter. Michelle, look, I know this is hard to talk about, but you stabbed your husband. Now if you were protecting Tammy, if this was self-defen... God, you're making us sound like... It was not like that. Darren didn't do anything. You don't have to make excuses. I was cooking... and Darren and I started arguing. Tammy tried to stop us, and she got in the way, and Darren pushed her. It was an accident, but I got mad and I overreacted and I had a knife in my hand. Please. I need to be with Tammy. I need to make sure she's okay. Okay, okay. Michelle Larsen. We have a warrant for your arrest. What? No, no. No, officer. Her husband hit her. It was an accident. Okay, Michelle. No, look, she has a daughter who needs her. She's pregnant. She has a head contusion. She needs medical care. Then admit her upstairs to the medical jail ward, but her husband has a knife wound, and she's under arrest. Mom? Do not handcuff her in front of her daughter. What is happening? Tammy, it's okay. She's traumatized enough. Cooper, get her out of here. No! I want to stay with mom! No, no, no. Tammy, Tammy... Everything's okay, sweetie. I love you. Mom! I love you, sweetie. I love you. Tammy. You want me to give up a hospital bed for a kid with a broken arm? She's 11 years old, her dad hit her, she just watched her mom get hauled off by the cops. All good material for a country song, but lousy on a medical report. You look like day-old dishwater, Coop. Why don't you go grab a shower, get some rest? You've done all you can here. No, she's my patient, and I should've known what was going on. I could've stopped this. When are you going to Violet's to get your stuff? Oh, Charlotte, come on. Have you talked to her? This is not about Violet, okay? I haven't shaved and my shirt's a little wrinkled, but beneath the depressed hobo look, I am fine. You're fine? You haven't seen Violet since she got home. You live with her for six months, now you won't even pick up a clean shirt? You won't talk about it. Like you talk about you getting fired? I'm doing my job, Cooper... the one I have left. My problems aren't getting in the way of that. I have a patient. Echo is now a grand old matriarch, her crossed tusks make her unmistakable. Hello. Violet, you're there. Yeah. Well, that's how the telephone works. You call people. They answer. You speak. Right. Uh, look, I was just calling to remind you that if Lucas can't sleep, give him the sheep toy. And he likes the rain sound, but not the whale calls. Uh, well, nobody likes the whale calls. They're eerie. You're checking up on me. Yeah. I was hoping you'd be out. Well, Lucas is sleeping now, so, uh, I better go. You know what they say... sleep while the baby sleeps. The Larsens? My Larsens? Yeah. Well, my Larsens now. Well, when Michelle came to me, she and Darren wanted a sibling so badly for Tammy. When they finally got pregnant, they seemed so... So happy, I know. Yeah. Hey, listen, thanks for coming with me today. Yeah, well, you know, I wanted to see Violet, and this gives us a chance to hang out. Yeah. Yeah. Things have been a little awkward, you know? Well, no. It's just, uh... It's nice to see you... outside of the office. Yeah. Yeah. No. Mnh-mnh. Apparently... there's a closet situation. Violet. Hey, it's me. Uh, Nai and I are outside. Okay. Hello? Vi? Could you... could you shut the front door, please? And... and lock it. Both locks. It's closed and locked. Okay. Hey, you guys. Hi. It's so good to see you. Hi. Oh. Oh, my God, you brought food. You're gods. Hi. Hi. Oh... my God. Hi. Oh, look at these tiny hands. Hi. Oh, baby smell. I love baby smell. It's like heroin. Aww. Yes. This is making my uterus hurt. Oh. Hello, sweetie. Oh. Hi. Yeah. He's adorable. Yeah. Hi, sweetie. I get that you think I'm a monster. But the thing is, I swear, Sam, it was an accident. You get medical care from me. You don't get sympathy. I'm not looking for your sympathy. I feel terrible. It's not that. I'm a good man. Stop talking. You're a good man? You like to hit women. You like to hit children. That doesn't make you good and it sure as hell doesn't make you a man, so stop talking. Okay, I'm... I'm a good man. And if you say one more word, I might have to show you what this good man does to people like you. Dr. Bennett, you might want to rein in that charming bedside manner. Trust me, I was reining it in. He's seizing. Darren? I need suction and an airway now. Your incision is healing well. Just keep the area, you know, clean and dry. Okay. Anything else? No. Yes. Um... you should probably get some light exercise. Just go walk around the block or something. You know, just get out. Wow. Your... your lips are moving, but your words sound just like Pete's. You were in the closet, Violet. Look, I'm... I'm doing the best I can. No, I know you are. I do. Oh, look at that smile. That's gas. Sorry to tell you. No, it is not gas. This is a smile. Yes, it is, 'cause you love your auntie Nai, don't you? Oh. Oh, isn't he beautiful? When Maya was little, I used to just watch her breathe. Isn't this the best? Sure. I am hogging the baby. I'm sorry. Who wants him? It's Addison's turn. Oh, go, go, go. Yes. But you're coming back to me. Hello, Lucas. He did just smile. He smiled. Wow, this place looks different. Pete... I'm surprised to see you here. Unless you're my 2:15 appointment, in which case, I'm glad you're finally dealing with your kleptomania. Well, that's funny. You're a funny guy. Look, I need to talk to you about Violet. Are you sure this is a good time? Okay, I've been a little overprotective. You mean territorial. Whatever psychological term you want to use is fine. I'm not here to argue with you. I told you when you brought her home from the hospital to her home, that was a mistake. She wasn't ready to face the trauma. Going back to that house is what Violet wanted. You try telling her what to do. I'd like to, but I haven't had the chance. You're handling it. I need your help. I'll stop by this afternoon. Thank you. I was eyeing that apple. The pressure in his brain is still not coming down. Continue the mannitol and hyperventilate him to a P.C.0.2 of 35. Hey. What happened? Cerebral contusion. He wouldn't stop seizing. I had to induce a barbiturate coma. Neuro put a pressure monitor in, but I can't get the pressure to come down. So he may die? Yeah. Little bit of justice. I'm just saying. Sam, if he dies... Michelle could be charged with murder. And what, Tammy has a father who's dead and a mother in jail? All right, well, now you're just making me feel bad, so stop it. Michelle, if you don't tell the truth now, you'll go to jail. I am. I just don't buy it. You're still trying to protect some image that you have of your family or of Darren. It wasn't an accident, and if he dies, you will be charged with manslaughter or worse. You have to stop protecting him, if not for yourself, then for your daughter. Think about Tammy. I am. I am thinking about my daughter. Tammy, we have some hard stuff... to talk about. Your dad is in a coma. From being stabbed? He hit his head. And Dr. Bennett's taking care of him. We're doing everything that we can. Look, I know this is really hard and I know you don't want to talk about it, and believe me, I know what that's like. But your mom's in trouble with the police, and I don't want her to be in more trouble. And this should not be your responsibility, but she says that it's all her fault, what happened, and... well, I don't believe her. And... if you told the police what really happened... well... I'm supposed to say it was an accident. But it wasn't? No. No. Tammy, look, whatever your dad did... it wasn't him. I was cutting a cantaloupe, and my dad came in. He started singing with the radio. He was being funny, but I got so mad. I don't know. It just cos over me. My dad could see it was happening. He held me to calm me down, but I bit him. And he yelled for my mom, and they both tried to stop me. I had the knife in my hand, so I stabbed him. And now he's gonna die. I see you have a new rug. Pete tells me you're afraid to leave the house. I said that you could come see the baby, not shrink my brain. Your body language is telling me that you're uncomfortable. My vocal language is telling you that I'm fine. Really. Could you be deflecting right now? Not very effectively. What do you want me to say, Sheldon? I want you to talk about how you're feeling. Do you want to hold the baby or not? Yes. I know what you're doing, Violet. It's not gonna work. I'm not doing ything. Look at this guy. Do you mind watching him? I could really use a shower. It's not gonna work, Violet. I'm a professional psychiatrist. You're not gonna confuse me with a baby. And I think you have my ears. I'm sorry about that. Yeah, I am. No. No, no. She told you? No, no, she can't take the blame for this, please. Can you give us a moment, please? Thank you. No, what are they gonna do to her? They're gonna try to get her some help. Don't you think we've tried? Michelle, I understand the urge to lie, to protect your family, but we couldn't let you say that it was your fault when it wasn't. But it is. It is my fault. I was on drugs when I was pregnant with her, for the first couple of months, before I knew I was carrying her. Michelle... You weren't there. You don't know, but I know. She had H.D.H.D. because of what I did, and then these rages started. She has them over nothing. And someone told you that her behavior was related to your drug use? The school counselor said that it's adolescence, but I know what it is. I've read enough, and she's been tested and tested and... and there's nothing else. It's me. Michelle... look, I know that you feel guilty and that you feel hurt and that you would do anything to change what happened, to change how you're feeling right now. But sometimes... you just have to push forward. Darren is the strong one. I want to talk to him. We've been through all of this together, and without him, I can't do it. I can't. He's in a coma, and then... Tammy's gonna be taken away. I'm just losing everyone I love. We had a therapeutic fencing match, and I lost. She distracted me with the baby, who is quite winning and has my ears. They're my ears. What am I gonna do now? Can I make an observation? I don't know. Can you? I know you're upset, so I'm just gonna ignore that. You told Violet you were going to leave, and you never did. You know, you talk, you send people over. Violet's smart. She knows she doesn't have twalk out that door because you are always gonna walk back in. Definitely my ears. Hey. There's a juvie officer here that wants to take Tammy. I need you to let me keep her in the hospital for another 48 hours. You did not just interrupt my dinner to ask me to hide your patient from the law? Do you really think that putting an 11-year-old girl in jail is the right thing to do? She stabbed her father. So let's help her. Let's not throw her to the wolves and just hope they decide to raise her. You're not social services. You fixed her arm. You did your job. Look, I feel bad for the kid, too. Do you? Because I really can't tell, because it's like nothing bothers you. It's like you didn't get fired, like Violet didn't almost die. It's like I'm... it's like I'm heartless? Violet. Lucas is in his crib. I'm just trying to sleep. I love you, olet. I'm really tired, Pete. All right. Just listen. Before all this... we had a chance. We had a... we had a real chance. And then katie attacked you, and... I've been doing everything I can think of to help you get past this. But it's not helping. What I'm doing... it's not helping. So... I'm gonna go home. What? You're leaving? What about Lucas? He's in his crib, like you said. Well, you can't... you can't just walk out and leave him alone. He's not alone. He has you. Look, this isn't just about us. We have a child. You were hurt. And everyone thinks that maybe you need time, but Lucas doesn't care. He needs you now. But... and if I'm gonna be a good father, I've gotta do what's best for him. I can't fix you. I can't... make you walk out the front door. You have to do it yourself. And I have to let you. Ow! Ow! It's okay... leave me alone! Aah! Tammy, stop it! Ah! Don't! Leave me alone. I got her. 5 milligrams of lorazepam, now. What happened? I don't know. It came out of nowhere. No! Mom's here. Mom's here. It hurts. You're hurting me! Just breathe. Tammy... Tammy, listen to me. Tell me what's going on. I don't know! I don't know! Paging Dr. Noah barnes. Dr. Noah Barnes. Addison, can I talk to you for a second? Of course. I saw, um, Tammy in a ra... in a rage last night, and her heart rate jumped and her blood pressure spiked. Uh-huh. So I'm thinking... So you're thinking that it's more, um, physiological rather than psychological? Yeah, but I went through everything. Uh, I was here all night, went through everything. Head C.T., tox screen... Yeah, they're both negative, and the psych eval isn't conclusive. Did you notice if her pupils were dilated when she got angry? Yeah, yeah. It was like... like she was on something or like there was some kind of exaggerated fear response, but again, the C.T. scan... Hey, you okay? Me? Yeah, you seem sad. Or you've seemed sad lately, and I c... it's none of my business, but... I'm not. I don't... I am sad. Okay. But I can't talk about it. Okay. It's... Order an abdominal M.R.I. and a urine catecholamine. It's just a hunch. Okay. Oh. I almost killed you with an educational rattle. Sorry. I didn't knock in case you were sleeping. I just came to get Cooper's clothes. Yeah, and to check up on me, make sure I'm not crazy. I know the drill. What, you want to hold the baby? Do I look like someone who wants to hold a baby? I'm wearing silk. Are you breast-feeding? No. No, I'm not. You know, a lot of women don't breast-feed. I don't need to breast-feed. L... like I should feel bad about it? I... I am so sick of people trying to make me feel like what I feel isn't what I should feel, if that makes any sense. No. No, Charlotte, I'm not breast-feeding, okay? What you do with your boobs is your business. I only ask because you look like you need a martini, and if you're not breast-feeding, you can have a martini. You want a martini? Yeah. Please. Naomi. Hey. Hey. I was just, uh, coming to see Addison. Oh, okay. She's, uh, she's not here. Oh, okay. You okay? Me? Yeah. Well, I guess it's just been a tough couple of days. Oh, the... the Larsens? Yeah. You want to talk about it? Uh, no, no. Uh, it's... it's not your problem. I'm gonna get back to the hospital. Hey! I was looking for you. Hey, Nai. I'm just really busy. Oh. This Larsen thing? Yeah. I'm waiting on the results of an abdominal M.R.I. For Michelle? I thought she was fine. No, for Tammy. Oh, but I thought that... Is everything okay? I... I can't tell you everything all the time, Nai. I like gin. Gin is good. Gin is good. So... what's wrong with ya? I mean, other than the whole "psycho chopped the baby out of your belly and ran" thing. Other than that? Is... is there something other than that? You tell me. I'm just a chick with a drink. No judgments. Oh. I get it. You don't want to open up to me. I know. I'm not the touchy-feely type. I got fired for being heartless. Cooper apparently agrees. Maybe he's right. It's the baby. He have 11 toes or something? He's perfect. He's absolutely perfect. He's the baby in the commercial, he's so perfect. And I... I look at him, and I feel... nothing. I can't... feel anything... ever since the... I mean, there's this pressure to be all "mommy," and I'm just... I'm not. I'm not ready or something. I just... I don't... I don't want to deal with him. I just want to... stick him in the freezer. Maybe thaw him out later when I'm ready to deal with him. That's a... that's a horrible thing to say, isn't it? Yes. Oh. But the horrible things they're... things that need to be said. Can I ask you question? Shoot. Where the hell is Cooper? He's busy saving a patient, trying to make up for the fact that he didn't save you. What? Is he... blaming himself for... except for the part he blames on me. I called him that night. I was the reason he didn't walk in that door and save you. I guess you owe me. Tammy has a very rare tumor on her ovary called an ectopic pheochromocytoma. It intermittently releases an excess of adrenaline, Causing a rise in heart rate, blood pressure, All leading to fear, anger and Tammy's sudden rages. And, Michelle, nothing that you did or do not do During pregnancy caused this. But we found it, which means we can fix it. Yeah, I can remove it laparoscopically. Without the need for a large incision. Which means at all those moods that you've been feeling, they should stop. All this time, I've been blaming myself. I can't believe it. You're gonna be okay. But dad isn't. But you cannot feel guilty for something you couldn't control. But I do. And taking out this tumor, it won't change that. It won't change the way I feel. I've tried steroids, fluid restriction. Nothing's working. Neuro says he's not a surgical candidate. I'm gonna take Tammy into surgery now. Okay. How's she doing? She'll be fine. Yeah, physically, but she will not forgive herself, and nothing I said was gonna get her... you guys think that when we die, There's like a bookkeeper, and he tallies up everything we did... all the lives we saved, all the people we helped, and if we've done enough good in the world, that it makes up for the times that we just completely fail? No. I don't think anyone's keeping score. I think we do what we can, we hope for the best, and that's all anybody can do, right? I think, uh, I think that we... we do what we can do when we know how to do it, and it hurts. It just... it hurts. Violet's in the kitchen. Hello. Hi. Come here. Hi. Yes. Yeah. Hmm. So I have this 11-year-old patient, stabbed her father. Turns out she has a pheochromocytoma, which made her... aggressive. Um, Addison's gonna remove it, but this girl just can't forgive herself. Maybe she needs more time. Time? So should I offer her time? Well, what do you want, Cooper, a magic pill? Bad things happen. You can fix them, maybe, but it doesn't mean they didn't happen. So don't go in there to that girl and try to sugarcoat it and pretend it's all better when it's not. Well, I should've seen it. You know, I could've stopped it. You are not responsible for what that girl did any more than you're responsible for what happened to me. I'm sorry, Violet. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. You came when you could. No, no. I'm sorry that I did not come sooner... before, with Katie. You came when you could. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Mm. Shh, shh. You're here now. So a bad thing happened, and I can't change that. And sometimes the things people say to try to make you feel better, they just come out sounding... stupid. So, um... you tell me what you need. What if he dies? What if he dies, and I never get to tell him I'm sorry? Nobody beat me, nobody tried to steal my baby, nobody stabbed me, but... I am wounded, Sam. Noah? Oh, my heart is broken. And I shouldn't even complain about it because... nothing happened. I mean, nothing happened to me, not like what happened to the Larsens and Violet. You know, sometimes... I'm almost jealous of them? Because everybody can see their injuries, so they have a right to be messed up. I sent noah back to his wife. I did the right thing. And... my heart is broken. Yeah. Nai would what to say to you right now. I can't talk to her, though. I just can't... talk to her, 'cause it's like... she's not our Nai anymore. Exactly. I'm sorry, dad. I'm so sorry, daddy. Hi. Hi. Nice shoes. I hate talking about shoes with you. I... I hate that at's all we talk about. I miss you. I... where are you? Where... where did you go, Addison? Like I said, nice shoes. You came. No, wait. I... I need you to listen. Just listen? Um... I want to be a good mother. I want to be a good mother so badly, And, um, I'm trying to figure out how to do that, how to do that when I look at this baby and I feel... Uh... Katie stole something from me. She changed me, and I don't know how to change it back. But I'm trying to be a good mother, okay? Okay. And... and you're right. You're right. It's not... it's... it's not just about you and me anymore. And being a good mother means doing what's best for your child. And you may not understand this, and you may never... forgive me for it, but I... I walked out that door tonight to do what's best for Lucas. This is what's best for Lucas. You're what's best for Lucas. This is me being a good mom. Violet? Violet. Shh, shh, shh. : THIS IS HAL BOON REPORTING LIVE AS ACROSS THE GLOBE, PEOPLE ARE GATHERED AT ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT FOR WHAT ASTRONOMERS ARE CALLING THE GREATEST METEOR SHOWER IN NEARLY 10,000 YEARS. JARED, GIVE ME 100DB APERTURE GAIN. WHAT'S THE MATTER? WE HAVE AN N.E.O. BIG. WE HAVE INCOMING OBJECTS, LARGE ENOUGH TO SURVIVE ATMOSPHERIC BURN. : HOW FAST? : THIS IS CRAZY. THE IMPACT FORCE EJECTED DEBRIS AT 6,000 KILOMETERS A MINUTE. MR. PRESIDENT? GET SOME ANSWERS, QUICK. OUR MOON GOT A HEAVIER HIT THAN WE THOUGHT. WE BELIEVE THAT A PIECE OF BROWN DWARF IS LODGED INSIDE THE MOON. THIS IS HEAVILY MAGNETIZED. NOT ONLY IS THE MOON NOW TWICE AS HEAVY AS THE EARTH, BUT WE HAVE A GIGANTIC MAGNET FLOATING UP THERE ABOVE US. PLEASE GET OFF AT THE NEXT STOP, AND GET INSIDE A SMALL ROOM SOMEWHERE. OKAY, I WILL. BYE. BYE. SIR, I BELIEVE WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT, WHAT WE ARE WITNESSING, ARE FLUCTUATIONS IN GRAVITY. THE MOON IS NOT CAPABLE OF MANIPULATING GRAVITY AT THIS LEVEL. THERE IT IS, SIR, POSSIBLE. WE WERE FAR TOO CONSERVATIVE IN OUR ESTIMATES. THE MOON HAS MOVED INTO AN EVEN NARROWER ELLIPTICAL ORBIT. THE HYPERMASS WILL NOT ESCAPE OUR GRAVITY. THE MOON WILL MAKE IMPACT WITH EARTH IN 39 DAYS. WHAT HAPPENS TO EARTH? MR. PRESIDENT, AN ASTEROID NINE MILES ACROSS KILLED THE DINOSAURS. THE MOON IS MORE THAN 2,200 MILES IN DIAMETER. THERE WON'T BE A PLANET EARTH. EASY. YOU OKAY? I THINK SO. YOU DO SPEAK ENGLISH. OW. AH! WE NEED TO CLOSE THIS. WHAT WAS THAT? IT WAS THE MOON. AH! IS THAT OKAY? YEAH. GET OUTSIDE. I'LL CHECK FOR OTHER SURVIVORS. OW. CAN YOU WALK? YEAH, I THINK SO, YEAH. WE NEED TO FIND HELP. THEY'RE NOT GOING TO FIND US HERE. YEAH... HIGH-TECH CRAP. WE'RE LEAVING. I THOUGHT THEY WERE PICKING US UP. Are you smoking again? No, sweetie, I'm not smoking. Why? You get jumpy when you smoke. I'm not smoking, I promise. No, I was just sitting here trying to picture what this room's gonna look like when it's finished. - I like that game. - You do? Yeah. What color did you picture? That's where I got stuck. Yeah. I was thinking maybe yellow. - Yellow? Okay. - Yeah. I mean, it's neutral. - Mm-hm. - Yeah. So it could be whatever. It could be an office, it could be a guest room a gym, a baby's room... [LAUGHS] Wait, did you mean "neutral," or "gender-neutral"? - I don't know what you're talking about. - Oh, really? I know we said we'd wait to talk about it. BEN: Uh-huh. - Mm-hm. But I think that we're almost ready to start talking about it. [UP-TEMPOED MUSIC PLAYING] JARRAD: So that's the last time I do anything pro bono. [GIGI LAUGHS] Well, ladies, I guess I have to get back to the office. You go back to the office after happy hour? What's happy about that? I met you. I would love to call you sometime. Do you have a card? - Of course. - Oh, great. Here is my info. - Nice to meet you, Janine. - Nice to meet you. Look forward to hearing from you, Gigi. Oh, wait. So how are we doing this? Are you hearing from me or am I getting a call? What? You said you'd love to call me but then you said, "Look forward to hearing from you," and... You see how that's kind of confusing? Yeah, look, we'll talk. We'll get in touch. You did it again. Very vague. You know what? Let's just say that you'll call me and then we can skip all the nonsense. Goodbye, Gigi. - He was cute. - Yeah, please don't cyber-stalk him. What are you doing? I'm not calling him. If he wants to see me, he'll call. Wow. That guy Alex really made an impression on you. Was he hot? No. He was just right. Morning. Morning, Ryan. A surprise mocha venti just because you're so awesome. - Love you. - Love you. Good morning. Okay. So? Oh, hi. - He asked me out. NATHAN: Oh, my God. He called? MARY: Well... - He e-mailed? - No. BRUCE: What? Left his calling card with your lady-in-waiting? - He MySpaced me. - Ouch. - Oh. - Oh, girl, I don't know about that. My trampy little sister says MySpace is the new booty call. Well, what am I supposed to do? I mean, things have changed. People don't meet each other organically anymore. If I would like to make myself seem more attractive to the opposite sex I don't go and get a new haircut, I update my profile. That's just the way it is, you know? [PHONE RINGING] NATHAN: Yeah, she's right. Back, back, back, back. Ad sales, this is Mary. Hi, Mary, this is Conor, Anna's friend, or whatever. Hi. So, what'd you think? Looking at it right now. I'm not sure about this. Oh, you have to trust me. It's a burgeoning market, you're gonna make a fortune. I know. Did you have to put me with the massage ads? Well, it was either that or the page with the personals, so... This page gets a lot of action. Yeah, I guess you're right. Hey, have you spoken to Anna lately? Yeah. Okay. All right, Mary, I'll talk to you soon. Thank you. Bye. PAIGE: What I'm trying to show you is that there's a difference. There is a difference. BETH: Hey, how did you get Aunt Linda to sew these dresses in two weeks? PAIGE: She wanted to do it. LAURA: Really? She told me she felt like an old Indonesian lady in a sweat shop. - Is that not right? PAIGE: No, she didn't. LAURA: No? BETH: What's the...? Why the big rush to get married? PAIGE: Because I am not having my wedding during a gross Baltimore winter and I am not waiting till spring. You are so pregnant. PAIGE: Oh, God, I'm not pregnant. I'm not pregnant. That's ridiculous. - Chug a beer then. PAIGE: No, I'm not chugging a beer. CATHERINE: Chug a beer. PAIGE: We're in love, you assholes. That's what people do when they're in love, they get married. But you know what? Not everybody gets married, you know? There are many people who never get married. Well, thanks for the inspirational pep talk. What she meant to say was that it's fine that you broke up with Neil. Right. Tons of people make the choice to be alone. They're happy. Look at Al Pacino. Never been married, happy as a clam. Would that...? Am I...? Would I be Al Pacino in this scenario? No, Bethie, we just... We want you to be happy. Well, then you should have rethought the coral. LAURA: Oh, her face. - Your face. - Don't make her cry. I'm sick of these coral jokes. I know, you're sensitive. Trust me, I get it. Hey, why don't you have dinner with me and Steven and the kids then you can just stay over...? Why'd she wanna hang out with you and your husband? The last thing I'd feel like doing. If being in this wedding is too painful... Oh, God, you guys. Please, stop it. Relax, relax. That's enough, okay? Seriously, you guys, I'm f... I've gone through breakups before. If you remember, I handle them quite well. You've been there, you've seen it. I'm perfectly capable of doing this. I can do it again. I want you to stop worrying about me. I'm fine. BEN: I know it's here somewhere. I spoke with George Lane in Music. He had a whole list of references for you. Well, that's okay. You can just call me when you find it. I swear I didn't lure you here under false pretenses. I know. A girl can dream, though. You're just too good a guy. [SIGHS] Why are you married again? [LAUGHS] Seriously, why? No, I really think that it would be good for me to know why you cannot live without this other woman. Well, we'd been together since college and she gave me an ultimatum. She said, "Either we get married or we break up." So we got married. Wow. You caved. It's complicated. Really? What? You're a dick if you date a girl for too long and don't marry her. You marry her and you're an asshole for marrying before you're ready. I mean, shit, I don't know. [SIGHS] You're really hot. And I am obviously attracted to you. So I think the best I can do is eventually find this piece of paper and call you and hope to just help you out in your career in some small way. Hi. Hi. What's going on? [HAMMERING] Javier. Javier, I thought we talked about tarping the furniture. [PHONE RINGS] City Supper. Hi, this is Gigi. Is Alex there? Hold on. - Alex? - Yo. - Drinks are good? MAN: Yeah, one more. - Hello? - Hi, this is Gigi. - Gigi? - Gigi Phillips. - Huh? - I, um had the dentist pen. Right. Hey. How you doing? - I'm really sorry to bug you. - That's okay. You had some really good insights and I wanted to ask you a question. Okay, look, now I need to be harsh with you. Conor's never gonna be interested in you, Geege. No, I know. This is about Jarrad. Jarrad. So we meet at happy hour and he's completely charming... Hey, give me two seconds, okay? Two seconds, hold on. Let me guess. He said: "The only thing happy about this hour is you." He might have used some derivative of that. [CHUCKLES] So he says he's going to call, but then he gives me his card and he says... Oh, he's not interested. - You don't even know if he's called. - Oh, did he? No. - But I honestly think he's expect... - Okay. Gigi, he is not interested. [KNOCKING ON DOOR] Alex, this is jacked. The hostess is giving me shit for not wearing a black shirt. - It's not black. - Look at it. Not a black shirt. I see it. It's not black. This shit is black. If a guy gives you his phone number instead of taking yours, he's not interested. He took mine first. Then he gave... And also, if a guy wants to see you, believe me, he will see you. I once called 55 Lauren Bells until I got the right one. That's cute. What happened? Oh, yeah, as it turns out, her ass looked really huge in the daylight. [GIGI LAUGHS] Is it your sensitivity that makes you so popular with women? Don't call him. He doesn't like you. Don't tiptoe around my feelings. - Well, I'm just trying to help. - I know. Thank you. Sure. I gotta get back to work, but good luck. Okay, bye. Hey, buddy, you home? CONOR: Yeah. Come on in. Hey, you want a beer? Or an apple martini? Oh, that's funny. [ALEX LAUGHS] Have you told your parents? It's for work. I'm trying to expand my client base. By pretending to be gay? No, by being more gay-friendly. Or, in real estate terms, "gay-adjacent." Nice. I'm gonna use that. I should change this. It's maybe a little much. I don't know. Dressing like that, seeing a girl who won't sleep with you I think you can pull it off. It's not that she won't sleep with me, douche bag. I have slept with her. It's just she, you know... Won't sleep with you anymore. Pretty much, yeah. What do you think? I think you got a problem because you're gonna have to beat them away with a stick, you gorgeous, sexy man. Holy shit. Observe your breath. Inhale, belly rise. And exhale, belly fall. Bring your hands together in front of your chest. Bow your head in gratitude. - Namaste. - Namaste. Thank you for coming. See you next week. [BEN CLAPPING] Great class. We ran into each other. You came to my class. I had no idea this was your class. You called to ask me if this was my class. No, you never called back. Because you told me not to call you if it was my class. It was. - No. We just ran into each other. - Okay. We're just two innocent folks who happen to be working out near each other. BEN: Exactly. Do you want a swim? Sure. You know, I was just thinking why can't we be friends? I mean, am I not allowed to have friends anymore? I mean, am I not allowed to be friends with people that are hot? I mean, what kind of reverse prejudice is that? I hear you. I mean am I not supposed to be friends with a guy just because he's married? Right. Or has an insane smile? Or an ass that makes me wanna dry hump? [BEN CHUCKLES] - Did you just say "dry hump"? - Yeah. BEN: Think I just fell in love. So we're friends. Yeah. You wanna come in? I'm sorry, I don't trust myself. That's okay. You can just watch. You know, you may be the best friend I've ever had. [LAUGHS] - Hi. - Hey. BEN: Take a shower. Hey. - What? Hi. - Honey? - Yeah. You smell weird. - I smell weird? - Yeah, different. - Different how? - I don't know. [BEN LAUGHS] Sort of an odd thing to say. You know, maybe it was the ashtray and cigarettes I found. In the back yard. What part of "My dad died of lung cancer" is so hard for you to wrap your brain around? What? Do not lie to me, Ben. Please, okay? Are you serious? We have, like, 8000 undocumented workers here daily. Okay, and you find an ashtray with cigarettes in it and you think... You automatically assume that they're mine. Oh, yeah. Honey, I'm not lying to you. I think you are really freaking out. This whole renovation thing's getting to you because nothing's happening. Just say no. Get it out. Gonna take a shower. - I'm exhausted. - Okay. - Sorry. - It's all right. Who'd have thought that a random girl from yoga would fix me up with such a good kisser? - Back at you, sister. I can't wait to kiss you again. But we're kissing right now. I know, next time. The second-date kiss is way more intimate. Well, listen I'm leaving tomorrow, so I'll be out of touch for a little bit. Can you excuse me a quick second? Too many Diet Cokes. Okay. [PHONE RINGING] Oh, yeah. Yeah? Hey, sorry to bug you again. Quick question. Excuse me one minute, babe. Sorry. What's going on? Okay, I'm making out with this guy... PG stuff. And he mentions that he's going out of town, he's gonna be out of touch. Run. But maybe he is going out of town. Where? Where's he going that he's gonna be out of touch? Where are you going out of town to again? Um... Uh... Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh. Run. So, what, now I'm just supposed to run from every guy who doesn't like me? Yeah. There's not gonna be anybody left. I don't know why I'm saying this but I think I know a nice guy who might actually like you. - Yeah? - Yeah. He's friends with my brother. His name's Bill. We'll all meet for drinks and it'll be good. So, I mean, I'm in his bathroom right now. What do I do? Well, you gotta come out eventually, right? But I'd take my time in there. I'd let him sweat. - Thanks. - Good luck. [SIGHS] BEN: Yeah, the boat looks great. You look like shit. But your boat looks great. Yeah. I live on my boat, man. Personal hygiene goes out the window. A lot of time to work on the place. BEN: You should try working on a shower. NEIL: Yeah. Hey, what can I tell you? Standing on principle, man. It's all I got. Cigarette? No, I'm good. That's right, you quit. Good for you. BEN: So did Janine send you out here to check up on me? Yeah, pretty much. What are you gonna tell her? I'll tell her how gorgeous you look out here on the ocean. [LAUGHS] Break. Any word from Beth? She's so busy organizing her sister's funeral, I think she must be... Sister's what? Her wedding. Her sister's wedding. - Isn't that what I said? - No. You said "funeral." - No, I didn't. - Yes, you did. Shit, did I really? That's so weird. I don't understand why people wanna get married. [SIGHS] They don't. - They don't? - No. No, no guy actually wants to get married. And if they do, all they're really thinking about? All the women they're gonna miss out on. I don't wanna be with anybody else, just Beth. I don't know, man, I... Why'd you get married? I love Janine. You're a happily married guy. Yeah. Yeah, I'd say so. Now, I know I don't need to tell any of you that my cousin Paige is hot. [ALL LAUGHING] In high school, if I told the popular guys that Paige was my cousin it'd keep me from getting my ass kicked because no one wanted to blow their chances with her. [ALL LAUGHING] And when she gets up there and says those marriage vows to Devon there will be hearts breaking all over the world. MAN: Hear, hear. WOMAN: That's sweet. But, you know, keep in mind that her sister Beth is still on the market. Yeah, sure, she may be an older model but she got a lot of good miles left in that tank. But don't stay on the lot too long or next year's models are gonna slip in there and steal all... Okay, that's enough of the speeches. Okay. KEN: So enjoy the crab. And that yellow stuff is not hot mustard, it's the crab's hepatopancreas. Bethie. Your cousin Jay has always been a jackass. I know. And somehow even he's married. [KEN CHUCKLES] Oh, honey, look. Back when everyone was just going to camp at the Y you borrowed my New York Times found some arts camp in the Berkshires wrote away for information and got accepted on your own. You never did things like everyone else. Why not? Because that's you. That's why you're my favorite daughter. You're not supposed to say that. I don't give a shit. I'm retired, I'll say what I want to. I'll say it to the whole room if you want. Wait, wait, wait! Come here. Stop. KEN: It's true, though. Hey. - What are you doing? - Waiting for you. Come on. Sorry I'm late. No, it's okay. I like a little time before a blind date. Prepare myself mentally, remind myself not to tell the story about my molars... Gigi, he's not coming. But you can tell me the story about the molars. I'd love to hear it. Hey. How could he already not like me? I screwed up. I told Bill it was Thursday, not Tuesday. It's my fault. Hi. Are you good? - Can I get a Jameson on the rocks? - Sure. GIGI: Awesome. I'm stuck with a guy who can't distinguish Tuesday from Thursday. Meanwhile, this girl, she's probably meeting her soul mate as we speak. - This one right here? - Mm-hm. Oh, God, no. How do you know? The guy working the Tom Cruise thing? She's interested, he's clearly not. You cannot tell from a cursory glance that he's not into her. Actually, I can. I see this stuff going on every night. Watch this. She's going on about her macrobiotic diet. He's thinking, "Dear Christ, get me out of here." And look, how fortuitous. Drinks spill, which is perfect for him, because now... He can move on to the girl with the shoulder tattoo. Man, you have a gift. Now check out Droopy Dog on the other side. He's gonna buy her drinks all night and she's still gonna insist there's no spark. Maybe there's not. You need a spark. Oh, the spark thing is bullshit. - Really? - Bullshit. Enlighten me. Guys invented the spark so they could not call and treat you kind of badly and keep you guessing then convince you that that anxiety and fear that just develops naturally was actually just a spark. And you guys all buy it. You eat it up and you love it. You love it because you feed off that drama. You all love that drama. I don't. So you never wait until the last minute on a deadline or a phone bill because secretly you love the drama of not knowing whether or not you're gonna make it? Maybe. And let me guess: When you were stalking Conor the other night were you obsessing about him calling constantly pacing back and forth, staring at your phone for days even though the date was just kind of mediocre? [GIGI LAUGHS] Okay. Yeah. Because you all thrive on the drama. Thank you. Look, you gotta be more like me. If a girl likes me, great. But if not, there are plenty more out there like her, you know? With smaller pores and bigger implants. - That's beautiful. - I know. Why are you sharing all of this inside dating information with me again? I don't know, I like you. You do? Well, yeah. Okay, don't start doodling my name on your binder, okay? I just mean... I mean, I like you the way I like basset hounds. Something pathetic about them. You just wanna cheer them up. Again with the sensitivity. To sensitivity. [HAMMERING] It looks good. JAVIER: Yeah. JANINE: Yeah. - He does good work. - Yeah, he does. JANINE: Very nice. Very nice. - Javier? - Yeah. Javier if I asked you an honest question do you think you could give me an honest answer? - I think so. - Good, good. Because I think some of your guys might be smoking. Javier? - Is that the question? - Yes. - Seemed like a statement. - The question part's implied. I really didn't hear it in the inflection. Javier have you guys been smoking or not? No, ma'am. My guys, they don't smoke on the job site. They're good guys. Are you sure your guys haven't been sneaking around here? And smoking? And lying to me? And smoking? I'm pretty sure. I need you to be honest with me, Javier. Because I can't have someone lying to me. To my face, under my roof, on my time. That's a lot of prepositions. I mean, there's no reason for that kind of dishonesty, is there? I mean, we made promises to each other. I mean, we have a contract. That's like making promises. Isn't it? Maybe I should get back to work. Oh, yeah. Right, yeah. That's great, yeah. - Javier? - Yeah. We're good. Right? You and me. - Oh, yeah, yeah. We're good. - Oh, good. Okay, that's great. Yeah, he did great work. Hey. Welcome, everybody. Thanks for coming. I'm Conor. Sign in when you get a second. Make yourselves at home. We got some cookies over here, some cold beverages. Help yourself. Conor, you are the Liza Minnelli of real estate. - I know. Your friend Mary's a genius. - I know, she's so great. Well, I gotta go, so I guess I'll see you later. What, you got a class, or? Yeah. No. No, just something. - Stuff I gotta do. CONOR: Okay. Well... - I'll see you. Okay. Bye. - Okay. Okay. Bye. - See you later. CONOR: All right. Call me. What? She's holding out on you, isn't she? Not quite sure I get your meaning. It's obvious she won't sleep with you. It's written all over your puppy-dog face. - It's killing me, literally. I'm dying. - Here, have a cookie. No, I'm cool. I don't know what she's doing. I cannot read her signals. We used to sleep together all the time. That's not true. I don't know why I said that. It wasn't all the time, but it happened. I know I'm not just making this up. And then out of nowhere it just stops. But she still calls. She wants a massage. She leaves cute messages. But it's not going anywhere. What is she doing? Honestly, we may not have the best insight. Gay signals have nothing to do with straight signals. He's right. The signals are totally different. Like, here. Here's "I wanna sleep with you." One, two, three. That's it, three seconds or more, it's on. And here's "I don't wanna sleep with you." One, two... - Nope, thanks for playing, move along. - It's that simple. You're right, that didn't help me at all. All right, well, I can tell you this: Gay or straight, you're not gonna get anywhere by being inactive. She likes you. Maybe she just wants you to be a man and do something. Hit me up with an oatmeal raisin, will you? - Thanks. - Here you go. TRENT: If a girl's into you, she's sleeping with you. If after a month, or two months at the very outside she's not sleeping with you? She doesn't like you. The trick is to spot this girl early. Don't wanna waste the one to seven weeks waiting to find out it's never gonna happen. So I've come up with some signs about how to spot this girl. A girl will never sleep with you if she calls you "cuddly" or "dependable." If she pops a zit in front of you if her name is Amber or Christine if she takes a dump in your bathroom or she takes home leftovers on dates one, two, or three. I know it's not scientific but I'm just saying, you were warned. Wait, stop. What? BEN: Shit. What? I am so into you. Seriously, I've never felt like this before. I have to actively stop my brain from thinking about you. Like, all the time. Why stop? Because I don't do stuff like this. Stuff like what? Like sleep with women that aren't my wife. First of all, I am not "women," I'm just one. And second of all? Oh, I didn't have a second of all. I was hoping "second of all" would make me feel better. Second of all I can't stop thinking about you either. [ANNA LAUGHS] He's totally leaving his wife for me. That's crazy. That's crazy. We hardly know each other. I don't know. I mean, look at Becca. You know, my sister's friend. One guy waits on her at Bennigan's and by the end of the meal, they both knew they had found the one. You're right. You're totally right. I mean, it could happen, right? Not for me. What about texter? Texter has yet to make verbal contact. I mean, this guy could've had surgery, leaving him without a voice box breathing through a stoma and I would never know because I've never actually heard his voice. Well, I doubt he has a stoma. MARY: That's not the point. I can't text. You know, I'm not charming via text. ANNA: Maybe you should just stop texting. But it's not just texting, it's e-mail. It's voicemail. It's snail mail. That's regular mail. Whatever. None of it's working. I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home. And then he e-mailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell. Then he e-mailed me to my home account and the whole thing just got out of control. And I miss the days where you had one phone number and one answering machine. And that one answering machine housed one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from the guy or it didn't. And now you have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting. What about that MySpace guy? - Jude. I like him. - Good. Yeah, I felt like we connected. Great. What if she wants you to kiss her? Well, then I guess I'm just gonna have to kiss her. [RECITING ON-TV DIALOGUE] "Amanda Jones is no minor leaguer who'll be swept off her feet at the touch of your amateur lips." [PHONE RINGS] This babe has plenty of battle scars. Hello? Oh, hey, you're home. Where am I supposed to be? Out, maybe? It's Saturday night. You won't let me go out with guys who don't like me. It's kind of limiting. Right. Listen, I was just gonna leave a message. I'm having a party next weekend. You should come. Oh, I don't know. Won't Conor be there? Might be kind of awkward. He's at a real-estate conference in D.C. But there'll be a lot of single guys. So there will be plenty of chances for me to be awkward. Don't worry, I'll be there. I'll talk you through it. [PLATES SHATTERING] Okay, gotta go. Someone just dropped like 84,000 plates. Maybe I'll see you there. You're busy. I shouldn't have called. You called me. - Yup, good. - Bye. KEITH [ON TV]: How...? How do you work on it? Pretend I'm a girl, okay? I mean pretend I'm her. Amanda. He's into me. Awesome. I knew it. - Who's this now? - Alex. It's totally clear to me now. He's Watts. - He's what? - From Some Kind of Wonderful. I thought Mary Stuart Masterson was Watts. - Yes. - So why aren't you Watts? I'm Eric Stoltz. Alex is Watts. Watts helps Eric Stoltz go on a date with Amanda Jones. Really, she's in love with Eric Stoltz. So Amanda Jones is Conor? I guess. At first. Now men in general, but that's not the point. The point is he's into me. I knew there had to be some reason why he was spending that time with you. I know. It's so obvious now. There are so many signs. Signs. Love signs. You gotta tell me about the signs. I love signs. First they were small. At first when I called, he said, "Good to hear from you." - Totally good sign. - Right? And then the next time I called he was with a woman but he took the call and we talked for a while. - You know it was a woman? - Called her "babe." Okay, a guy doesn't leave a woman to go talk to another woman unless he's... And it gets more obvious. I mean, please. There was no guy he was gonna fix me up with. The fix-up was him. No. Yes. He shows up without this fictitious Bill character. The two of us basically have a date. And then he calls and invites me to a party at his place. JANINE: He so likes you. I'm so happy for you. Let's look up places for your destination wedding. How do you feel about Napa Valley? I have really always wanted to go there. Oh, he's cute. Yeah. Smoldering but sensitive. Oh. "All I have is my guitar, these chords, and the truth." BOTH: Bon Jovi. - That's hot. - Yeah. I like him. I mean, he probably hasn't called yet because we just had coffee last night. - Really? MARY: Yeah, you know. I mean, we actually video iChatted while holding coffee. But that's the same thing, right? - Right, right. - Just call your voicemail. Yeah, but he had a gig last night and he probably didn't get home till late. - Did I tell you he's a singer? - Mm-hm. - Just call. JOSHUA: Oh, honey, no, on speaker. I don't think so. I'm sure he hasn't called. - Just call him. - Okay. RECORDING: You have two new messages. GUYS: Oh. [BEEP] JUDE [SINGING]: Mary Whoa, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary Oh, my Mary I just got hard. Hey, Mary, it's Jude. I was just calling to tell you again how special it was to meet you. So call me back. Bye-bye. [DIAL TONE] Amazing. NATHAN: This is good, this is good. - This is... See, he called. JUDE [SINGING] Jenny Whoa, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny Hey, Jenny, it's Jude. I was just calling to... Whoa, shit. What number did I just dial? RECORDING: All messages erased. That one. - You sure? - Yeah. No. It's a laminate. - That's not real hardwood floor? - Nope. It looks exactly like it. But it is like one one-hundredth of the cost. Oh. I still wanna go with the real wood. What? You can't even tell the difference. It's not the point. Well, what is the point? I just... I don't like the way it's pretending to be wood. If you're not wood, don't try and look like wood. I don't think that it's pretending. This is a lie, Ben. Just be up front and tell people what you really are. Okay, you're right. You're right. I'm sorry. It's okay. Maybe we should just go look at the grills and we'll come back. Okay. I slept with someone. - I said... - I heard you. You tell me this in Home Depot because you know I hate a public scene. No, that is not why I'm telling... I knew it. I knew it. - You asshole. - I'm sorry. It is you that's been smoking too, isn't it? Wha...? Wait, what does that even matter? Have you...? ! Have you been smoking? No. No, I haven't. I talked to Neil. I told him. He said I could stay at his boat for a while. Excuse me? Now you're moving out? - You're, like, leaving me? - No. No, I just assumed that you wouldn't want me to... Aren't we gonna deal with this? Don't you wanna find some way for us to work through this? I assumed that when I told you, you would want me out. Is that what you want? No. Okay. Okay. WOMAN 1: You're doing a great job. Oh, my gosh, it's Bridget. Hi! WOMAN 2: Oh, my goodness. [CROWD CHUCKLING] Oh, what a beautiful dog. Seriously, Devon, I really did feel just a moment, a splash, of hesitation. No, there wasn't. There wasn't any hesitation at all. PAIGE: You just did it again. That was a pause. DEVON: I did not pause. You must be Beth. Yeah. Yeah. Heard a lot about you from Paige. Actually been lobbying to sit next to her single sister for weeks. Oh, yeah? So you must be: "Dan." Sort of. - Sort of? - Well, I'm actually a Wiccan. - A what? - A Wiccan. Wiccan? - Male witch. - Right. So I also have a magical name. It's Brother Phoenix East-Horse. But I didn't know if that would fit on the card. Love that. I'm guessing that I'm gonna hear a whole lot about you. Nature-based pre-Christian paganism, yeah. Yeah. That's fantastic. Well, where to begin? Well, first off, it's not just a bunch of nude farming. Dad. - Wow. - Let's look at Stonehenge. Obviously not a coincidence. They didn't have the machinery to move those rocks. They're huge. - Yeah, they're heavy. - Of course. ["IF I NEVER SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN" BY MAROON 5 PLAYING ON STEREO] - I'm Nathan. And this is Bruce. - Gigi. - Gigi. Hi. - Hey. So how do you guys know Alex? We don't. Our friend Mary heard about this from some guy named Conor. And how do you know Alex? I hope... I'm pretty sure that something's about to happen between us. BRUCE: Ooh. NATHAN: Oh. So are you here as, like, a guest, or, like, his date? Oh, I hate that. When you don't know if you're a date. You don't know if you should bring a friend, or are you co-hosting or should you stay to the end to have some alone time? He didn't say. I'm sure I'm more than just a guest. - I mean, there have been signs. - Cool. [BAND PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC] DOMINIC: So where's Neil? We broke up. - No way. - Yeah. You guys were together, what, like 10 years? Seven. But still, it's a long time. Yeah. It's too bad cousins can't marry, because then we could maybe... Oh, Dominic. - Gross. - No. MAN 1: Ken, are you okay? What happened? WOMAN 1: Oh, my God. WOMAN 2: Ken, are you all right? MAN: Just clutched his chest. WOMAN 1: He was standing there and all of a sudden... WOMAN 2: Ken, just try to breathe. MAN 2: Call 911. BETH: Dad. Excuse me. Daddy, what is it? What happened? What happened? - Guys, come here! LAURA: What happened? BETH: Daddy, lay down, okay? LAURA: Did he fall? BETH: You'll be fine. You guys, did anybody see what happened? LAURA: Over there. Just go get it. - Okay. Hey, hey. I had no idea it'd be such a madhouse. Hey. Great party. Thanks. Did any guys hit on you? A lot of them here. You need me to evaluate any level of interest? They were gay. Even I know their level of interest was probably low. ALEX: Hey, Skilo! It's too bad Bill couldn't make it. I know you guys would hit it off. Okay, right. "Bill." Right. [CHUCKLING] Listen, I gotta go make a liquor run, but the food needs some refreshing. - Would you mind helping and refilling...? - Like co-hosting? Okay, yeah. Sure. Just refilling the chips. They're on the fridge. Thanks. [TING TINGS' "FRUIT MACHINE" BLARING] MAN 1: Hey, sweetie, get me a beer? - I'll get you another. - Hi, guys. - Nice. Hey, Linda. [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] - Really great party. - Oh, thanks. You know, when Alex said he wanted to throw a party, I was like, "Let's do it!" - Thanks for having us. - No problem, any time. Can I help you find something? Oh, no, it's okay. I got it. Thanks for mixing that up. What? Alex asked me to get the dip together. Thanks for getting it started. It could use a little more dill. I'm on it, though, don't worry. Come on, my boy. Take it home. Franchise player. My boy Marbury. GIRL: Fifteen seconds. ALEX: Let's go. GIRL: Oh, a pass. ALEX: You work too hard. Well, I think I've rounded up the last of the beer bottles. - Oh, what game are we playing? - Oh, sorry, Nash. - Oh, come on. - Come on, come on. ALEX: Nash, you piece of shit. Come on. - Maybe I should just... - It's past 3, so... ALEX: Okay, swat it. GIRL: Watch this. Ready? - And... ALEX: Oh, no, no, no! Yes. Suck it. Yes. Oh, you are... You're sensational. - Yeah, I know. - Jesus. I don't know why I bother. - Did you say it's past 3? - Yeah. - Oh, man, I gotta go. Hey, good game. - All right. GIRL: Bye. GIGI: Bye. Hey, thanks for staying and helping me clean up. I really gotta go to bed, though. Is that an invitation? What? [GIGI LAUGHS] Oh, God, that was cheesy. Oh, I'm not good at this. What? ALEX: Hey. Oh, yes. I knew it. The best relationships grow out of friendships. Wait, wait, wait. Gigi. Wait, wait, wait. What? Now you and I are in a relationship? Well, I'd say if we're not at relationship station-ship we're at least on the track. And why exactly would you think that? Because of the signs. Really, like what? Like, it was good to hear from me and you talked to me even when you were with a girl and I felt something. Oh, man. What are you talking about? Gigi, what have I been saying since I met you? If a guy wants to date you, he will make it happen, okay? He will ask you out. Did I ask you out? No. Why would you do this? Oh, shit. Why do women do this? Build up this stuff in their minds take each little thing a guy does, and then twist it into something else? It's insane. I'd rather be like that than be like you. Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean? I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there too much but at least that means I still care. Oh, you think you've won because women are expendable to you? You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone, Alex. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I know I'm a lot closer to finding someone than you are. BETH: Do you want anything else? Yeah, less of the cardboard crap and more regular people food. Well, that cardboard crap is what we call whole-wheat toast. Well, maybe you could just fry me up a couple of sausage links. People who have just had a heart attack are generally not advised to have animal fat that's been stuffed into a synthetic casing. [CHUCKLES] [VAN MORRISON'S "I GOT A WOMAN" BLARING ON RECORD PLAYER] STEVEN: Hey, Beth. Grab me a beer when you get to the kitchen, okay? And a little plate of cold cuts, if there are any left. Hey, would you guys please just turn that down a bit? Dad's trying to sleep. You think he wants to hang on to this vinyl? My collection could use a lot of these. Would you just turn it the fuck down? Well, we're totally out of toilet paper and all we have left to eat is some old jelly and some ramen noodles. And our new brother would like to co-opt Dad's property before he's even dead. Laura, also your husband would really like another beer to go with his fifth consecutive hour of the golf network. Are you okay? [CRYING] Don't worry, honey, Dad's gonna be fine. GIGI: Do you know who it is? - No. Doesn't matter. So are you gonna leave him? Gigi, he's my husband. He's not some guy who didn't call me back. He did admit it to me. He didn't wait to get caught, which takes courage, you know? I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I didn't mean it. I know that Alex wasn't just some guy. Oh, it's okay. It's my fault, you know. What? Oh, I just think I need to take responsibility for my share in the whole mess. You know? I forced him into getting married. - You know, he wasn't ready. - Janine, this isn't your fault. No, it is. It is, I've changed. I was fun, you know? I was fun when we first met. You're still fun. [SIGHS] We don't have sex anymore. Lots of couples go through lulls. No, I mean we never have sex. [JANINE CRYING] I mean, realistically, what do I expect him to do, you know? I don't think that's really... God, this tile is too small. I have to tell Javier. - What? - This tile is too small. I gotta go. I have to take a personal day, if anyone asks. MARIEL: Well, my first husband was unimpressive. I found him in bed with his big-breasted secretary when I came home early from the Maldives. It was just so unoriginal. Made me feel sorry for him. My second husband was a pinch more creative. Cheated on me with my sister but made me believe that I was insane for being suspicious. So at least some mind games, some intrigue. But my last husband, he was a gem. He was a veritable master at covering his tracks. I mean, I pored over his phone records, I intercepted his credit-card bills I had him followed on numerous occasions and never found a single shred of evidence. It wasn't until he died that I found out about the property he owned with his Austrian mistress. But the real master, I have to say, is me. Three husbands, countless boyfriends, I haven't been caught yet. ANNA: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - Oh, my God, oh, my God. I can't... - Shh. BEN: It's over there. ANNA: Oh, my God. He liked the demo. I can't believe it. It's unbelievable. Did you hear when he said that it was hauntingly beautiful? Yeah, I was there. I was... I was there, baby. Thank you. [KNOCKING ON DOOR] Dana, I'm working. I'm still going over some offering statements. You gotta... You gotta come back later. JANINE: It's not Dana. Is that your...? - Is that your...? - Shh. [WHISPERING] Can you get in the closet? - Get in the closet. - What? Just go in the closet for a second. Just for a second. Ben? I keep telling Dana to get that damn lock fixed. JANINE: Why do you even bother locking it? - What? JANINE: Why do you bother locking it? Oh, you know I can't get any work done if I don't. - Hey. - Hi. - Can I come in? - Yeah, of course. What are you doing? JANINE: Sit down. BEN: Okay. Hon? What are you doing? I don't know. I just thought maybe we could... - Sorry. - Are you okay? JANINE: Maybe if you just go over there. Just trying to you know, re-light the fire. Oh, honey. Didn't you hear what I said before? I really gotta finish these offerings. Look I'm really trying here. Do you wanna save our marriage? Of course. Me too. Tyrone, you cover 4 through 6 and pitch in with the bussers when you can. Wait a minute. I'm on 8 through 10. Hey, I been working here 18 months, 8 through 10. ALEX: Minor oversight. Luis, you cover 4 through 6, then. Dude, Luis quit like 10 months ago. [WORKERS CHUCKLING] MAN: Yeah, he quit. Is there any reason we're even having this meeting? Not really. - No, not for me. ALEX: Great. Good. Great. Meeting adjourned. Back to work. Hey, Kelli Ann. Did I get any calls? Since you asked me 11 minutes ago, no. Not a lot of phone traffic. - Oh, my God. - What? What's her name? Who? The girl, Alex. There's no girl. You can't hide it, man. I know strung out and you are strung out. Okay, please. KELLI ANN: This is amazing. You can't focus, right? Jumping every time your phone rings, checking your e-mail 100 times a day wishing you could write songs. No, feeling the need to bring up her name in random conversations. It's always the same and it has happened to you, my friend. Shit. Welcome to my world, asshole. Let me get the door. Sure I can't interest you in a little beef and broccoli? I gotta finish this stuff. Okay. - Yeah. So I'll see you at home. - Okay. I love you. I love you too. - Okay. I'll see you later. Okay, bye. - Bye. - You make me sick. - I had no choice. - You're a disgusting excuse for a man! - What was I supposed to do? - You're the one I wanna be... - Don't touch me! You will never touch me again. Dino, thanks again for letting me pay over the phone. I assure you this late-payment thing will never happen again. Yep, just trying to trim some of the drama out of my life. [BEEPING] Oh, that's my other line. Okay, bye. - Hello? BILL: Hi, Gigi? This is Bill. - Bill? - Alex's friend. We were supposed to meet up but Alex told me the wrong day. Bill, so you do exist. I do. And I'd love to buy you dinner sometime if you're still game. Yes. Sure, why not? [KNOCKING ON DOOR] Hey. Coming, I'm coming, I'm coming. Hi. Hi, sweetie. See, why did you just call me "sweetie"? - We always call each other that. - Why? All right, look, I wanna say something, okay? We call each other "sweetie" all the time. And we fall asleep on the phone after talking for hours. I washed your hair for you after you had shoulder surgery and everything. And it's like we're together. - I know that I've been... - No, hold on a second. Let me finish. I think maybe this is my fault because maybe I wasn't clear about exactly what I want. So let me... Let me be clear. I love hanging out. But I'm so attracted to you. I just... I want both. I don't know what happened or why we stopped. I don't care. Okay. - What? - Okay. No, I'm talking about really doing this. Like a full-on relationship. Right. With me. Yeah. A bunch of gay people put you up to this? Stop talking. DEVON: Stay home. It's an end-around. GEORGE: No, no, it's not. He's still got it. He's still got it. STEVEN: Shit. - Who let that happen? It's embarrassing. GEORGE: Argh! DEVON: That is so embarrassing. What? Did any of you guys have a chance to get to the store? Oh, yeah, no. We're good, we got takeout. No, I didn't mean for you, I meant f... GEORGE: All right, here we go. - Come on, defense, wake up. You have to be kidding me. I just got a little bit more of this I gotta finish. There's some laundry I'm gonna put away then I had another load of clothes in the dryer. I did get some of the food your dad likes, but some healthy stuff too. Just, you know. It's gonna be okay. It'll be okay. [CAR ALARM CHIRPS] [HAMMERING] Bend your knee a little bit more. There you go. Inhale, reverse warrior, look up. Exhale. [PHONE RINGING] Hi, you've reached Ben's cell phone. Please leave... [SIGHS] You lying sack of shit! [SCREAMING] Lying! Sack! Shit! Okay. [PHONE RINGING] GIGI: - or call my cell, or try me at work but definitely leave a message here first. Thanks. Hey, Gigi, it's Alex. How's it going? Just wondering how you're doing. I haven't talked to you in a little while and was just wondering how you're doing. So, hey, I was hoping to talk to you. Obviously. But you're out, I guess. So just call me sometime. Or tonight. I'm around, I'll be... Well, I'm in and around. So that's enough for now. It's Alex. Okay. Dude. I know. Hey. Hey. Welcome aboard. Might I come aboard? Yeah. You remember the boat. Well, you know, I thought I did. - Or, you know, little... - But it's been a while. You know that dock? Over there, there's a boat that looks just like yours. NEIL: Uh-huh. - It's not yours. - No, that's not my boat. - It's definitely not. But there's a very nice gentleman living on the boat who invited me in for a white-wine spritzer. Oh, good. Wasn't expecting visitors. That's all right. I just wanted to just come by and say thanks for helping yesterday. Beth, you know, I'm the same person. I would do anything for you. I just can't give you... I just can't give you what you want. You're what I want. Our life together is what I want. I miss it. I miss you. You see those guys my sisters are married to... You're more of a husband to me, not being married than those real husbands are ever gonna be, and... It's enough. It's really enough for me. And you would be willing to take the whole marriage thing off the table completely? If you promise to commit to me and to love me, and... - I already have. - I'm not finished. Okay. All right. - But I've loved you for seven years... - Ah-ah. Okay. You have to snake the drain when my hair gets clogged. You know that happens. Okay? Okay. Yeah. And also you have to let me eat those Wheat Thins in bed. You gotta give me that. - Okay, fine. All right. - Okay? And... - Yeah. - And? - That's it. - Okay. Do I get to come home now? I guess you can. But these cannot come. - What, my pants...? - That's correct. - Can't come home? Why? - No. You just won a really big battle, my friend. Come on. So we're not gonna get married, but I have to get rid of my pants. Mm-hm. And we both win. All right. I'll get rid of them if you like. You're getting a lot of bids on this place? Yeah. I know it's crazy, but it's a neighborhood in transition. Is that like young, hip, gay couples or something like that? Yeah. Hip gay people, young couples, young families. ANNA: Wow. God, this reminds me of where I grew up. I bet it's got one of the... Wait a minute. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's it. We used to have the exact same one except my mom used it as a desk. So when do all the fabulous people arrive? Well, actually, the open house is tomorrow. But I have this one buyer and I wanted to make sure his girlfriend likes it first. Oh, he has a girlfriend, huh? Yeah, I have an idea. For this house. For me. And hopefully, if you like it and things continue to, you know... Anna I have a plan, okay? I know where my life is going, and I want you to go with me. I'm not saying I want you to move in right now but I don't want to buy this place unless, at some point you could see yourself moving in. So, what do you think? I can't do this. Okay. Well, if it's too fast, I guess we can always just... I can't do any of this. I mean what you're saying and what you're offering is what every girl wants. It's what I always wanted. It's just... You don't want it with me. Okay. I have a question. Is there any way we could dial it back to before, when we were just sleeping together because I don't know, I felt like that gelled. Babe? It was nice meeting you. Thank you so much for a lovely evening. You too. Good night. [KNOCKING ON DOOR] You forget something? Yeah, I did. Really? What did you forget? This. You came all the way here at 11:00 at night to bring me back a promotional pen? Yeah. I thought I should just come up with some really great excuse to get over here. That's how it's done, isn't it? Sometimes. Look, I can't stop thinking about you. It's a problem. I drive by your place, I call and hang up. I'm turning into... Me. Yeah. A wise person once told me that if a guy wants to be with a girl he will make it happen, no matter what. That's true. But when I was hurling my body onto yours you did not seem to want to make it happen. Yeah, all right. Here's the thing about that: You were right. I've gotten so used to keeping myself at a safe distance from all these women and having the power that I didn't know what it felt like when I actually fell for one of them. I didn't know. Look, I just went out with your friend Bill and... Yeah. He might be just exactly what I need. No drama. He calls, he does what he says. - I can do that stuff too. - But you didn't. And that same wise person told me that I am the rule. That I have to stop thinking that every guy will change. That I have to stop thinking that... I'm the exception. You are my exception. [PHONE RINGS] Conor Barry. Hi, it's Mary at the Blade. I'm looking at your new ad and I love it. Really? You don't think the muscle T is too much? I think the shirt you're wearing now is probably more you. What, you here? I'm sitting right in front of you. [MARY LAUGHING] Wow, this is you. Mary. It's me. I'm me. Should I...? - Please. Please. - Okay. - Talk to you in a minute. - See you in a second. Okay. Hey. - Hi. - How are you? It's nice to finally meet you. - You too. - In person. This is a pleasant surprise. - You... - What? - I don't know. Not what I expected. - My voice doesn't match my face? CONOR: Your voice does not match your face in a good way. In a... Yeah, I mean... That sounded terrible. Amazing. I don't know how all this stuff fit in here before. I know. It seems like it just expanded. You are not trying to get these back in here. - You are not getting rid of these pants. - We had a deal, mister. These are not staying. - You can store those horizontally. - Goodwill wouldn't even take these. They could be pressed, flattened, you can... If you're gonna throw them out, at least check the pockets, all right? So you don't throw away some personal items. I love you so much. So much. And I wanna make you happy. I need to make you happy for me to even have a shot at being happy. Will you marry me? Yes, of course I will. Yes. Yes. NEIL: Thank God. GIGI: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up: If a guy punches you, he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs. And someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. - and your commitment to each other. GIGI: Every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it. The third act twist: The unexpected declaration of love. The exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't. The ones who will stay from the ones who will leave. - Hi. - Hi. GIGI: And maybe this happy ending doesn't include a wonderful guy. Maybe it's you on your own picking up the pieces and starting over. Freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on. Baby, what are you doing? It's our turn. Forget the dip. Come on, come on. MAN: Let's go, Alex. Come on, Alex, your turn. Ready? LOL. Laugh out loud! We won! GIGI: Or maybe the happy ending is this: Knowing that through all the unreturned phone calls and broken hearts through all the blunders and misread signals through all of the pain and embarrassment you never, ever gave up hope. NEIL: Now that we are married... BETH: We're gonna move. Gonna move. That's one thing we're gonna do. Another thing we're gonna do is move a little further away from... - Baltimore? - Your sisters. JANINE: I mean, everyone makes mistakes. I've started trying to figure out what I wanna do, who I wanna be, you know? Probably seems the wrong time to do that, but why not? You know, why not? Better later than never. I'm dating now. MAN: What do you miss most about marriage? Have you been married? MAN: Yes, I'm married. - You are married? MAN: I am married. And what's your question? MARY: We're heading there, is that fair? CONOR: It's moving fast. Just on our way. I like him, I'll say that L word. That's true, it does start with an L. Yeah. I like her a lot, so... - Good, I'm glad. [MOUTHING] I love her. I love her. ANNA: You know, what I've been focusing my energy on is like a self-discovery, as opposed to dating. I don't know. Maybe dating's a little overrated. Good friend of mine and I are going to India for a few months. We're going on a yoga retreat. ALEX: I really genuinely love this person... He had asked me to co-host this party and I stayed after. I was trying to help you out because there was this girl who would not leave... - ... that tall girl. - Right. She was gross. I was trying to... She was... Come on. Subtitles by LeapinLar - Who is it? - It's Lily! - What do you want, Lily? - Scarlet told me to tell you, three o'clock canceled. - Oh, fuck. Does that mean I have an hour to myself now? - Yeah, I guess, but I've also got your mail. - Slide it under the door, Lily. - Hello, Cindy, just a minute. Honey, I know Paris Hilton is in the habit of carting around a dog, but what did I tell you about bringing that baby here? - I'm sorry, sorry Scarlet, but I have to work... - This better be the last time. M. M. M, M, M, M, M. Hi! - Hi. - What took you so long? - I needed a cigarette. Got a problem with that, little miss? - Can I have one? - Yeah. - Oh, do you have any weed? - No, can I have my mail? - Hello, baby. - Would you like to take Evie? - Certainly not. I can't afford to smell of vomit. - Yeah, I know, I remember. - Maybe one of the other girls can take care of her. - Is M free at the moment? - Thank you. - Um. What did you do that for? - 'Cause it's not the first time a client's written me a love letter, Lily. - Really? Like what? What kind of stuff do they write? Well, like what? Roses are red, violets are blue, I pay you money and we fuck. - Yeah, pretty much. - Now then, Joey is it? - Yeah. Katy. Katy. - I'm an employment officer here at the Elizabeth branch. Do you know why Centrelink has called you in today? - 'Cause it's my birthday? - I'm sorry. I didn't think you were serious. - At least you get letters. - Oh sure, Lily. Most of the poets that come in here don't even want to see my face when they fuck me. - Rule number one is to make them cum, right? They come in five minutes, they owe you for half an hour. - Good. What else? - Ah, but a professional always offer a massage, so the guy doesn't feel like a total loser. - And - it's the best way to get another half an hour out of the prick. - That's my girl. * And night falls on a weekend day * And all the young and some old * Come out to play * And some of us drink to laugh * Some of us drink to cry * But everyone drinks to leave life * For a while * And anywhere's better than here * - When were you last employed? - Um, well, I, uh, I do volunteer work? - I'm sorry, perhaps I didn't make myself very clear. When did you last cease full-time, paid employment? - Paid, um. It's about two years ago. - Well, that's the reason why you're currently under review for your Newstart Allowance. We just need to be making sure that you're still actively looking for work. - Yeah, I have been. I have been. It just contains pertinent medical data, family histories, you know, stuff like that. Everything but a mix tape. How would you characterize your marriage? Perfect. Fantastic. Well, let's start with something easy, then. What's your favorite thing about your partner? Uh... She's a good mom. He really is a great dad. And where did you meet? School. High school. High school. Yeah. She was a cheerleader - I was on the football team. Fullback. I coach now, but I used to play. And we had... We actually had our daughter... We... On prom night, we conceived Lacey and it was a little confusing at the time, but it's been a blessing. It's been the best thing that's ever happened to us. It's been the best thing that ever happened to us. We did the right thing. How often do you have sex? She wants me to be tougher, screw harder. Work less, but bring home more. I can't keep this shit straight. All I know is, whatever I do, it's not good enough. Mmm. It's over. Then why are you here? This is not my wife. This is Trudy. I met her a couple weeks ago. Can we go boogie boarding now? And once people knew what we were going through, I think my cortisol levels just shot up through the roof. Because it's difficult to go through a very private struggle publicly. I heard what you think, but you know what I'm really interested in is hearing about how you feel. Just tell her how you feel. Well, I think if you looked at everything that... No, no, no, no. Just... Don't explain intellectually how you feel. You know, just tell her how you feel. In one word. Sure. Angry. Cynthia? Judged. Very good. Yes? Progress. Excited. Relieved. That is it. Yeah. We're awesome at feelings! Okay. Nice job today, guys. That's all for today? Great job. That's all for today. All right, well, great. Yeah. How did we do? Did we do good? I mean, are we gonna make it? Well, you know, it's just our first session, you know. We're not looking for an end result here. It's not a competition. I get all that, but have you seen couples that are worse off than us? Yeah. Or are we that far gone? We're... Are you gonna put a... Like a numerical value on it? You know, Doc? Like a one to 10? One being worst, 10 being best? No, hang on one second. Where would you put us? Right where you are, sir. What if someone put a gun to your head right now and said, "You have to answer this second or I'll shoot. "Are they gonna make it?" What do you say? What would you say? Whoa! Okay, no one has a gun to my head, Mr. Smith. It's hypothetical. It's not a place for inappropriate behavior. And you definitely don't pull a hypothetical gun on your therapist. Sorry. It's okay. Let's clear the karma. Okay? I'll holster this. See, you know, I work 10 hours a day, so by the time I come home, I'm exhausted. It's not that I don't want to answer questions about the house renovation. I really just don't want to answer questions about anything. But, you know, you may just be shutting your mind off, but it can feel like you're shutting your partner off as well. Again, that's a caution area. And just as a point of interest, when you speak that way, David, you're really de-prioritizing your teammate. Excuse me? It's called "crossing emotional boundaries." Or, more commonly, "bulldozing." And it's ugly. Ronnie, when you spoke earlier of... Let me just find it in my notes here. There it is+ You said, "We make it through things well together." That doesn't sound very fun. You don't want to look back and say, "I made it through my life." We want to enjoy our projects, enjoy our work week. We want to enjoy our lives, celebrate our lives. And all this talk about my project and his work, and my this and his that, and mine and his, and mine and... It,s... Where's us in all that? Where is our journey? I don't hear it. And it's because it's not there. Listen. I'm not saying that there's not some really stressful times sometimes, because there is, but it works for us. Does it? I don't know. Oh, gosh, I don't know, you guys. There's no "us." There's no "we." You two could be perfect strangers. I think the one thing that we can agree on, today, is that you guys should be doing a lot better than just "works." Pretty sure that's why you're here. Oh. That's it. Great. Great job, everybody. Thank you. Lucy? Good day, sir. I got room service for you. I'm very sorry. I didn't order that. I think your wife, she called me for you. I'm... This is just... Because I got a sunburn, 'cause it was... The sun was very strong today. Yeah. I know. This is good for sunburns, right? No. Okay. It's good, yeah? It's good for sunburn? Okay, so I don't see anything. See what? There's nothing to see. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. It works great. Okay, I move now. No. That was. -. That was... There's nothing to move. I... I was... I had a sunburn. Good night, sir. Now we will enjoy looking at the fish! See and take in with your eyes all the beauty the ocean has to offer! As these new things come at you, you may not have seen them before, but be open to them and find the beauty within. Hey, buddy. Yep. Thanks a lot for bringing me to Problem Island. What are we gonna do for an encore? Talk about all the people that we slept with before we were married and really stir shit up? What the hell are you talking about? The therapist is trying to create a problem in my marriage that doesn't exist! Maybe he's not creating them, maybe he's just noticing them. Okay, you know what? Don't start with me. I'm serious. I don't need it. These are the best in the world at what they do, all right? If Jeff Gordon told you that your oil was low, you might want to think about changing it. From the bucket, feed them! My therapist is kind of pushy. Really? Yeah. God, I like ours. Yeah, he said that Dave and I take each other for granted. That, you know, our relationship has become more like a job. How do you mean? For example, he says that Dave is de-prioritizing me, that he doesn't pay attention to what I actually want. Yeah, but, honey, that's just Dave being Dave, you know? Yeah. But so then, what if Dave being Dave is sort of like Dave bulldozing me? Please continue to look at the fish! Enjoy them as they come at you! I get it, dude, it's advanced snorkeling. Dave... Hey, I'm trying to do this exercise! Why don't we talk about this during down time, okay? This might be what the therapist is referring to. You're missing out on life. It's happening right now, out here, all around us, all right? And you're too busy complaining about your problems to enjoy all these beautiful little fish that are... Marcel! Yes? Marcel, we have a real problem here! It is not a problem! It is a circle of life! The circle of life is circling our lives right now! Do not move, do not panic. Shark! What? Shark! Jason! Okay, it's all happening, Marcel! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Don't worry! Wait! These are only lemon sharks! This is all part of the course. It is like life. Like in relationships. They will not attack unless they feel attacked! Marcel, I need you to take the French out of your mouth and tell me what to do! Don't let them see your fear. Okay, I think we just hold tight, we play it cool, we don't make a move. What was that? What? What was that? Jason, stop... He said not to panic! He said not to panic! I'm sitting in blood! I'm sitting in blood! Marcel, this isn't a drill, buddy! You got real sharks here! It's time to get the guns' and it's time to shoot some fish! Here on Eden, there are no guns! You got an American life at stake. One life is not more important than another. What do I do? My friends and my wife left me to die. You must get out of the chum, but slowly. Okay. Swim slowly out of the chum! Slowly. Slowly. Yes, yes. Slowly, baby! Stop! I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm standing still or I'm swimming. Swim now! Stop! They're torturing me! They're playing with me! They're slow-playing me! Shoot them! Swim slowly. Swim, swim, swim. Save yourselves! Go to shore! It's too late! They've got me! It's only a matter of time! There's no sharks around you, honey. You're safe now, baby. I don't know what's going through my mind! I'd love some ice cream. What? I'd love some ice cream, with maybe some pecans in it! Couples' massage is part of your program and so important. It gives you the chance to bond, relax, reconnect. We prefer to bond on our own. Okay, would you prefer male or female therapists? What would you recommend more for like a nurturing, pampering, motherly energy? Would that be a man or a woman, do you think? A woman. Well, I'm just so tight in my shoulders. Do you have any... Let me see. We do have a male masseur available, madam. Daddy, I can't wait to get my drink on tonight! Damn! Is this whole thing uphill? Where's the downhill part? We gonna get our groove on tonight. Right, Daddy? Of course, baby. You know how we do it. Well, hello. Hi. Lucy. Yes. Excellent. Who are you? I am Xavier and I will be your man-seur for today. Xavier? Yes. Mmm. Twenty, 30, 40, 50... Hi. Joey. Yes. What's your name? Gert. What a beautiful name. Well, thank you. Do you mind if I heat up the lotion? No. Heat that lotion up. The hotter the better. What kind of massage do you want? You left it blank. Korean? Korean? I am not familiar with Korean. Dealer's choice. Whatever releases the most tension. Mmm. Oh, that feels so good. Thank you. I can't tell you how much I need this. It has been a long time. Oh, I love pleasuring people. So do I. I mean, it's not my job, but it is a job that I love doing, if you know what I mean. I know exactly what you mean. So, Joey, do you have any problem areas? I hold a lot of tension in my upper thighs. We'll get to your upper thighs. It's just the top of my quads. As a matter of fact, if you want to do, like, the full 80 minutes on the thighs, I'm good. Whatever you want. Oh, I need this. You have no idea. Oh, you got great hands. Okay, Joey, what I want you to do for me is just close your eyes. Quiet that mind, okay? Just listen to my voice. Feel the sound slide down my throat and come out through my mouth. Down my throat, come out through my mouth. Down my throat... Keep... Keep going, keep going. Sir, I'm so sorry. No, no, no. Don't be sorry. You shouldn't be sorry. No, I aroused you. You should be proud. This hasn't happened to me in a long time. Are you attempting to have a manual stimulation from me, sir? Am I... I am here on a couples retreat with my wife in the other room. My husband Scott is just like a cat. Scott? My husband. I'm trying to save my marriage here. Look what you did to me. Well, that wasn't my intention, sir. It wasn't mine, either, and now I'm humiliated. Well, I'm sorry. You told me not to think. Well, when I don't think, this is what happens. You can't leave me all backed up like this. What do you want me to do, sir? I don't know. We got to figure out a solution. You know, let's not take anything off the table. Let's start brainstorming. We"re both in a maze together, okay? How do we get the cheese? I'm sorry, sir, but that is not gonna have a happy ending. Give me the oil. Go grab a smoke. Daddy, this is awesome! Yo, they should put me up in a video on this bitch! Don't go chasing waterfalls Stick me in the ocean I'm gonna make it look real good You go, girl. Daddy's got to ice his knee, baby, okay? If you just let me recharge my battery, I promise, this'll be more for you later, okay? Technically, I was bit by a shark. Were you bit or were you nipped? I mean, if you had been bit, you probably would have lost a great deal of blood and... What difference does it make to you two, anyway, what you would call it? It hurt. And I had shark teeth penetrate my skin. And besides, Jason, it's your fault that it happened. The only reason I got bit in the first place is because you did the worst thing you could possibly do in that situation. You panicked and you threw a bucket of chum in my face. I did the prudent thing and I got the hell out of the water. There were sharks in there, David. What was I supposed to do? You know what? Remember it however you want to and I'll remember it how it actually happened. Dave. I mean, really, did they penetrate your skin? Do you really need that bandage? Lucy, I don't know what to tell you, okay? You tell me if I need the bandage. It looks like you scraped yourself on the ladder, maybe, on the way out. I'm sorry? Did you get out of the water abruptly? Hey, I don't know how to explain it to you. Maybe I have tough skin. Perhaps lemon sharks don't leave that bad of a mark. Maybe they're pack animals and they're marking me for later. I don't know. Dave, I was in a car accident once, okay? And it was really scary, I had nightmares. But when... I've been in a car accident, too. Have you ever been bit by a shark? I was never bit by a shark. I'm just saying that I understand. My... Say it again. I was in a car accident. No, say the last part. I was never bit by a shark. That's it! Then you shouldn't talk about it. And I'm not gonna sit here and try to explain myself to a bunch of black and white suburban trash who don't know a damn thing about the ocean. And you understand the ocean, honey? I have some real field experience, honey, yeah. I had a shark attack. I'm part of a very elite group. Like people who have been struck by lightning. Not everyone can say that they've had that and maybe that's what's going on here today. You know what? I don't want to get in an argument with it. I really don't. You know what? I'm really exhausted. It's been a long day. I'm gonna go back to the room. You want to come with me? Baby, I thought we were gonna go to the waterfall tonight and have a little alone time. Sweetheart, I'm a shark attack survivor. I'm fried. Honey, I think the fear was a lot worse than the actual attack, which I can totally appreciate, but the good news is you weren't hurt, so let's not ruin the evening over it. I'm sorry? Honey, you weren't hurt. Good night. Dave! Where you going? Dave. Come on, okay, you got bit by the shark. You got bit, I believe you! We're here all the time, so let's take that opportunity to go to bed. Honey, we'll go to the waterfall with you. We'll grab our drinks and go. Yeah. We could all go together. It'll be beautiful. Hon? I was thinking that maybe we might go back to the room, huh? Bolt the door, draw the shades, huh? Just shut the whole world out and sit Indian-style and really explore our feelings. Daddy! Wake up! It's too deep! Yo, you having a nightmare. You ain't even in the water. It's night time. Look, you said we was gonna have fun, so let's get up, let's dance, let's do a shot, let's do something. Anything. Baby, let's just go back to the room, all right? I don't want to go back to the room. I don't want to go to sleep. We're not going to sleep. We're not? Mmm-mmm. What we gonna do in there? For real? So how was your night? My husband found himself in a very traumatic shark situation. Here we go. As we were planning to go to the waterfall and have a romantic evening, because, as you know, we don't do that very often because of the kids and work... But somehow, this crazy, traumatic shark experience was enough to make him neglect his wife. Ronnie, nice to meet you. Well said. David, how did that make you feel? I know my truth. Excuse me? I know my truth. Did you say, "l know my truth',? Oh, boy. Listen, I'm telling you, you getting on my last nerve! Yo, I didn't sign up for this! Yo, you said we was gonna be dancing. You said we was gonna be partying. You said we was gonna be doing what we do. You made promises, Daddy. Boo-Boo, look, they got me doing a lot of activities. What do you expect from me? I'm tired. You tired? Yo, I'm tired. Plain and simple, I ain't having it. Sometimes we forget how to do the easiest thing in the world, which is just to talk to each other. Okay, let's start here. Lucy, you go first. I want you to look at Joey and say hi. And Joey, after you've heard that, I want you to look back at Lucy and say hello in return. And then we'll just see where it goes from there, okay? Hi. Hello. You kept saying "open" and "fruitful" and other weird stuff. That's not feeling, it's just more talking in short half-sentences, and you managed to turn feeling into a job or an activity, and it was exhausting. So now it's my fault that you don't feel satisfied! Everything is my fault? Is that what you're saying? I'm not saying that! I'm crazy? You don't look at me! You don't ever ask me how I am! I work! You haven't looked at me in 10 years! I'm crazy and everything is my fault, and my family is awful, and nothing at all is your fault! 'Cause you rock, Joey! If a guy talked to me like that, I'd punch him in the face. You're such an asshole! You're an asshole! It's like a little kid who gets a puppy for the first time, just hugs it so much, snaps its neck. Cynthia's your puppy. It's puppy-cradle death syndrome. All that love is gonna snap that puppy. Yeah, but... You don't want that! The dawning of a new day. A marriage is not a timeless agreement. It is one day. And each day, it begins anew. Moments. Life is made of them, much the same as a great mosaic. A thousand little pieces that make one great image. But the most important thing in life is... And today, we open the door to breath with a shared yoga group experience. Our instructor, Salvadore, is running late. So I will touch on tomorrow. It is very important that you are here before sunrise, as well as not eat or drink anything too late tonight. As you pursue knowledge, as well as your own individual animal spirits, it is very important that you strictly follow your programs. Failure to do so will definitely take you off your path and lead you away from the answers you seek. I'm sorry, monsieur Marcel. Why is it so important for us to be on time tomorrow when Pablo, the yoga guy, is running late today? Quiet, please. The yoga teacher's punctuality is not your concern. You are to be here before sunrise. Why is it so important for us to be here on time tomorrow? I'm not understanding. Why can't we eat or drink tomorrow? What, is he gonna probe us? Who is that? Oh, my. Damn! I guess that's the yoga guy. This just gets better and better. Well, hello. I am so sorry I'm late. I just swam from the other side of the island. Please, allow me to put on something more proper before we can begin. Thank God. There we go. Much better. Now, who is ready for their yoga? My name's Jason. Jason. Pleasure, hi. Nice. Cynthia. Hi. Can't wait. Hello, Cynthia. Yes, we have a brave peacock. Use that. Yes. Yes. Hi, you must be Veronica. Hi. Yeah, how did you know? Why, I have read that you have studied the yoga for five years. Oh, well, I mean, just off and on, you know, before the kids came. Nonsense. You know, there is such thing called the muscle memory? And I could tell by looking at your gait, your muscles remember. Thank you. Yes. Okay, we are going to do the children's position. What's that? Head down, buttocks up. Everybody on your mats. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Very nice posture. Yes. Encouragement. So I will transfer you my energy. I will transfer my karma. Here is my karma on you. Jason! You have a great aura. Yes. Jason! Encouragement! Yes! This is a great way to stretch. Yep. You see? You could do this with your partner at home. Sure. Let's ride this energy out! Keep your chin up. Yep. Yes, this fire has just started. And we will not put it out. What is he doing? I don't really know that pose. Okay, now we go into the happy baby pose. No, no, no, no, no, no. Please regard me. I'm sorry? Please, allow me. To do what? Regard me. Okay. Yes. Okay. You are doing fantastic, my dear. Thank you. Okay. See as I gently pulsate. Okay... Trying to go deeper and deeper, and bring her deeper and deeper into a stretch, yes? Okay, Fabio, that's enough of the pulsating. Please. Then do it! Yes! Encouragement, my friend. Yes, fantastic progress. Yes, put your shoulders back. Yes. Now feel the energy. Feel that energy. Yes. Through your chest. Your peacock chest. Yes. Good! You like that? Yes. Good job. Encouragement. Yes. Great job. There, you need to find your mental equilibrity. Not on my knees, man, that hurts. It's okay, it's okay. Know your limits, yes? There is no giving up in yoga, you know? Encouragement, yes! Encouragement my ass, Daddy! You ain't even trying! Look, yoga's not my strong suit. Yoga's not your strong suit? Oh, look at this one. This little one is flexible. She's good. She's really good. Ooh, fantastic. So you do like the lizard. Now is when we transfer the energy, you see? Yep. And you just lay everything on top of her? Yes. Lay it on. Stretch. That feels pretty good, hon? What? Am I straight enough here, do you think? Or am I curving a little? Let me show you. You feel the transfer of the energy. Well, it feels solid. It is tantric energy. Yeah. It is karma. Yes. Okay, now I want all my girls in a downward dog position. Yes, this pose contains a tantric hip thrust. Now you and I will try this. You got a pose called "Yoga Guy Gets His Ass Kicked',? "Cause that's my favorite one. I feel your anger, yes! Yes, I got your blood pumping, yes? No? Now use it! Harness it! Hmm. Boom! Everybody into the children's pose! Heads down. Okay. Close your eyes. Yes? Yes, good. Let's breathe. Excuse me, Salvadore? I feel like my sacrum is really tight. Could you just help me stretch it out a little? Yes, of course, I will play the role of your husband. Great. Boom, boom. -. Boom. The rain room has fire. I did not see that coming. I was getting centered. I was enjoying the island. What if Joey had seen? Lucy, it was really inappropriate. Well, I didn't know that you were so concerned about how Joey felt. What's that supposed to mean? Let's drop it. All I'm saying is that it was pretty uncomfortable. Well, then why were you staring? It was hard to miss. Trust me, Salvadore is the least of our problems. It's freezing in here. Why would they make a room like this? You should have seen my masseuse. She was so hot. You're supposed to be relaxing out here. Why do you think I wanted to get a full release? You know what? I don't even want to get into this with you. Into what? I don't want to get into this conversation with you. Why is that? Because I don't want to be put in a position where l,d have to lie. Why are you getting all high and mighty on me? No, I'm not so high and mighty. Joey, I'm not judging you, I'm just not asking anything because I don't want... I don't want to know. Because that way, if someone asks me... You won't have to rat me out. I would never rat you out. Of course I wouldn't't rat you out. Right, right. But this way, I don't have to make that decision because I really don't know. All right, let me ask you something, then. Could you honestly say that after seven years together, that you get turned on by the same woman? I do. Without going to the highlight reel. You're playing a verbal shell game. I... You have to make your own decisions. I'm just saying I don't want to know. I'm saying, if you're... When you're sleeping with her, if you're hitting up some fan favorites, I think you're cheating on some level. You might not be acting on it, but you're fantasizing. You know what? I don't know what journey you're on, but I... I can't take this trip with you. But if I told you, as a friend... I came up to you, I said, "Hey, Dave, I'm attracted to men." I was thinking about their bodies and things, but I didn't act on it because I'm straight and I was being very strong, would you consider me straight or gay? If I desired a man. If I was thinking about a man's body, like how the light reflects off of his sweaty back... Am I interrupting something? No. We're great. Have a seat. Want to sit down? Enjoy this. Enjoy it. No, I'm good here. Thank you. If I was sleeping with my wife and thinking about, like, a dude's wet mouth... Snow and steam, huh? Is this place outstanding? Okay, Jason, let me ask you a question here. Is the highlight reel considered cheating? The highlight reel? No. I'm just saying everybody cheats and everybody lies, and whether they act upon it or not is a secondary conversation. So you're saying that you can't tell the difference between the highlight reel... I can tell the difference. ...and physically, really cheating on somebody? Don't say it to me like I can't tell the difference. Well, that's what you're saying! You're saying that they,re related, then they're somehow in the same family. No, no. I'm saying you own a Jack Russell, I own a Bull Terrier. They're both dogs. They're both terriers. Mine's just a little more aggressive than yours. I own a zebra, you own a goat. What the hell's that have to do with cheating on your wife? Right, they're both animals. Are you out of your mind? How would you feel if your wife cheated? Guys? Listen to me. Trudy's gone. What? What do you mean? What? I went to the room and all her stuff was gone. Where do... Where do you think she went? Like she... I don't know. We had a argument at therapy. She said she was sick of my senior citizen bullshit. I've been trying to keep up with her, but I'm a old ass! Shane, honey, it's not your fault. No, it's bullshit. It is my fault. I should have worked harder. Now she's gone! She's not gone. I know where she is. Sit down. How do you know where she is? Now use your head. She's a young girl. She wants to party. She wants to get wild. Too late to leave the island. Where is she? Where's the only place she could go? Eden East, the singles' side. We gotta go get her. You're damn right we do! And I'm going with you! I am not letting you go alone! I don't care if I have to go there all night! To find Trudy. We're gonna go find Trudy for him! We can't even go to that side, all right? And it's gonna get very dark, very soon. Plus we have to be in bed... What are you talking about? Listen to me. We have to be to bed at a very reasonable hour tonight because we cannot miss the sunrise in the morning. Now, Marcel said if we miss that sunrise, we will not be completing our course. We are here for the course, all right? - Yes. And stop eating and drinking, as well. Honey, our friend is asking for our help. She's 20 years old, for God's sake. She's probably with a bunch of dudes, like, sweating, drinking and dancing it out of her system. What's the problem? Let her spend the night on Hump Island! I promise, she's gonna come back here first thing in the morning! Dave, firstly... I don't want her to spend a night on Hump Island. No, I... I'm just trying to say it's not like she's kidnapped or something. Now she's dead, Dave? Huh? Now she's dead? She's dead, now? She's not dead. She's dead on Hump Island! I'm just trying to put it in perspective for you! You know what? I don't even know why I'm blowing up at you, because it... It's... Once again, it's my fault. This is a Shane thing. I've been dealing with this all my life. First Jennifer, and now Trudy. We're gonna find her, okay? I got a plan. I know how to get there. You do? Yeah, I do. I just can't tell you now "cause we got Mr. Belvedere clocking us. Now everybody take it real casual. Just drink your drinks and smile. So we just make it all nice. Everything's easy, fun, we're drinking, we're smiling. Okay? We can't leave till sundown. Guys, we all need to be together first thing in the morning, okay? Which is exactly why we have to find Trudy. Otherwise, we won't all be there. Let's get out of here now. Reconvene later at the beach, at 1900 hours. You with me? Joey, we are not gonna be able to finish the program if we get caught! All right, bring it in. Hey, come on, Shane! We walk to the other side, we get caught. This way, we canoe out nice and easy, we find ourselves a nice, quiet beach. We pull up. We find the singles' side, we find a dance floor, we find some cocktails. And we find Trudy and we bring her back... Yeah, we find Trudy and we bring her right back here. This is crazy. Trust me. I was an Eagle Scout. My mind is a compass. I can handle these situations. I've been trained to do so. Now follow me and I'm gonna get you there, but we gotta do it quick and we gotta do it quiet. Come on. These are not the best laid plans, okay? I'm just gonna go on record right now, okay? I do not think this has a high chance... If we keep up this pace, we'll be there in 20 minutes! I hope so! What was that? Great! Awesome! What do we do? No! Jason! Cynthia! Cynthia! Grab the oar! Are you okay? You all right? Yeah. We gotta go to shore! Cynthia, we're out of synch again. You know, you gotta paddle on the opposite side of the boat! Well, Jason, I can't see which side you're paddling on! Well, turn around and take a look every once in a while. Otherwise, we are gonna capsize again. You get that, right? It was an accident. I'll bet it could have been avoided. Right? Am I right? Baby' I need you to paddle. Cynthia, paddle the boat, please! You know what? Sit down. You've got to sit down in the boat! Cynthia! Cynthia! Cynthia! What are you doing? Cynthia! Cynthia! Hey! Cynthia! Thank God. Thank God that is over! I mean, who jumps out of the canoe? You could have really hurt yourself out there! Put these on. Cynthia? Jason, I have had it! I can't do everything exactly the way you want! I can't control the ocean and row the boat and stop the waves! Calm down! And I can't do anything about the fact that I can't get pregnant! This is nuts. No, it's me. And I just really need some time right now. Please stop following me, 'cause I need to be away from you. Come on. What are you doing? Hey, hey, where you going? That's a jungle! You know what? I'm gonna go check on her, okay? Great, thank you. Yeah, you guys go ahead. I'm gonna make sure she's okay. Honey, I don't think it's a good idea that everyone separates right now. I really don't think we have a choice. Let me just go talk to her. No, Jason, she really needs a minute, okay? All right, go ahead. I gotta go. Baby! You guys go ahead! We'll meet you guys there! So, what are we gonna do about Trudy? What are we gonna do about Cynthia, who just disappeared into the jungle? Jason, she's upset. Let her cool down. You'll talk to her later. We still gotta get Trudy to do all the Marcel stuff, anyway, all right? So let's just get her ass and let's get back home. Cyn, please, slow down, honey. I think we're almost there. I think we might have taken a wrong turn. Really? Yeah. Wow. Finally made it to the waterfall. I think my marriage is over. What? Honey, don't say that. You're just exhausted. I am. I'm so tired of him trying to steer everything in the direction that he thinks is right all the time. Listen. Don't make any decisions right now. You guys just need to take a breather. Get a little bit of space, you know? You'll be okay. You know? You guys have been on top of each other ever since we got here. No, that's the... Actually, the one thing that we haven't done. We haven't had sex since we've been here. We've barely even touched each other. Now, Cynthia and I are in a terrible spot. I come to this island, I come to the program to get some answers, find out my animal spirit... Yeah. Let me help you out on the whole animal spirit thing. It's gonna be awesome! It always is. It's like if you go to a tarot card reader for past lives, you're always something cool... Dave like a king or a gunfighter. No one ever finds out that they were, like, a shopkeeper or an asshole. Is this hilarious to you? 'Cause it's not to me. Tell you what+ If I get kicked off this island, I'm gonna blame all of you. And I can't believe I let the two of you derail me! We derailed you? That's correct. If you kept a closer eye on Trudy, she wouldn't have strayed so far from the pack, all right? She's not a dog, Jason. Yeah? Well, listen, she's been very selfish, hasn't been a very good teammate. I can tell you that. No, no, no, no, no. Look, I made promises, I let her down. You don't know the ins and outs of our relationship. Is that what it is? It's a relationship? It's been two weeks, okay? All right? That's not a relationship. It's more like an antibiotic cycle, all right? She should be very happy that she's even here. You're a good guy. You brought her to this island. She shouldn't be running off. She should be doing everything that she can, bending over backwards to make you happy. Don't blame this on Shane. You brought this on yourself. I don't need to hear it from you, okay? It's half your fault. Half his fault, half Trudy's fault, half your fault. Me? Yeah, with the whole canoe scheme? All right? You put me and my wife in a very extreme situation, put tension on the relationship. Your wife left you because you were suffocating her. And now you're suffocating me! And you're suffocating Shane, too! Yeah, don't suffocate me, man. A grown woman literally jumped into shark-infested waters and did a distance swim that she had no way to train for instead of staying in a dry canoe with you. Look in the mirror. Okay, Joseph Cecil Tanzini, with a monsoon of respect, I don't think you're in a position to be telling anyone to look in the mirror when it comes to relationships. You're not Mr. "'I Try So Hard At My Relationship," okay? So let's go, glass house. Me, glass house? You, glass house! You're the glass house! Talk to me about relationships. You got a woman who adores you. She'd do anything for you. You have a real partner in life, and what does she want from you? "Take me to the waterfall." But, no, you can't take her because you had some over-stimulated snorkeling experience. Do you think when your marriage is over that you're gonna find somebody that just caters to you, no matter what? That you're not gonna have to work at it? That's gonna be, like, psyched to go to Applebee's with you every Friday night and hear the same football stories about how you rocked in high school? I did rock in high school football. You want to check tape? But whoever that person is, you have to listen to their stories, too, or they're not gonna go to Applebee's with you. You're not gonna have someone to go to Applebee's with. You'll be sitting by yourself, eventually, at Applebee's, all alone. And who wants to go to Applebee's by themselves? You know what? If anyone should be mad here, guys, it should be me. I am having a real fight with my wife, okay? And it's not a fun feeling. Look it. I'm talking in circles. I'm on an island. I'm getting island fever now. I'm starting to lose my mind. This is an early sign of things to come. And what we need to do now is get focused and stop pointing fingers. You're a problem. You're a real, real problem. Is that Salvadore? Does this guy think he's a mermaid? What is his deal? Oh. Please, excuse my nudity. I was expecting no company. Allow me to put something on. I would have asked you to join me, but the water is a little chilly. But perhaps this will warm up the evening. And what is that? It's an island rum, infused with the essence of the coconut fruit. Delicious. Yes? You like? Very much. Yes. That's yummy. It is yummy. It's yummy, yummy, yummy, isn't it? Mmm. Yes. Oh, oh... Slow down there, killer. You see, this island has so many healing curiosities. You know, it is good to have a drink and have a good time. Then do it! Well, I guess we just go around, huh? No, we gotta go through. The path ends. We go off the path, we get lost+ Come on. No, hey, we'll make a new path. What if there's people in there? Joey! Be careful, sweetie. Ronnie, I'm Cynthia. I'm always careful! Yes! Okay. Okay. Get in there. You,re leaving fingerprints! I don't know what you're doing... Get away from the door. Jessie is a friend Yeah, I know he's been A good friend of mine But lately something's changed That ain't hard to define Jessie's got himself a girl And I want to make her mine And she's watching him with those eyes And she's loving him with that body I just know it And he's holding her in his arms late Late at night You know,.. Hey! What are you doing here? Private staff quarters are strictly off limits to hotel guests! I'm so sorry that we are disturbing your fortress of solitude here. I'm going to have to ask you to leave The Ponderosa immediately. Well, that's a shame, because the place is so inviting. When does Hoss and Little Joe show up? Dave. You gentlemen have broken into The Ponderosa and have broken the rules of this island. And, unfortunately, I don't think you're gonna like the consequences. I'm gonna call monsieur Marcel. No, no, no, no, no, no. Sctanley, there's been a big misunderstanding. Some of us don't necessarily want to be here. I'm sorry, Mr. Smith, but you've broken the rules and there are consequences. Yes, could you get Marcel for me, please? Yes, I know he's asleep, but wake him. This is important. I'll hold. What a shocker that this went bad. Thank you. Came here for answers and now I'm not gonna get them! Great. Great leading, Joey. Me? Yeah, you. I thought monsieur Marcel felt that technology was a distraction. For the guests, yeah. You seem pretty good at that game. He's the best on the whole island. It's a pretty small island. Doesn't look like it's all that hard. Looks like all you gotta do is push these big buttons and play along with the song here. Am I right? Something like that. You know what'd be a gas, Sctanley? For me and you to play. And when I win, you could point me towards the singles' side and forget you ever saw us. When you beat me? When I win, what will you give me? Maybe just this. $1,000 - A cool G, as we call it back home. Are you at liberty to play for that, Sctanley? Or would you prefer to play for smiles? Monsieur Marcel, I'm sorry to have woken you. I thought there was an emergency, but I was mistaken. I do apologize. I play at expert level. You take this kind of serious. That's a big screen. You've played this before. Maybe just a couple times, Sctanley. All right, Sctanley, let's have some fun. Come on, Sctanley, get him! Don't let him get in your head. Don't let him get in your head, Dave. I know a place you will like. Really? Yes. You will love it. What kind of place? Like a place that has dancing? There is everything. Everything? Oh, my God, you guys, I want to go dancing! You want to go? Yes, please, regard me. Follow me. Oh, my God, yeah, I want to go! It'll be a girls' night! Okay, but, honey, honey, honey... Oh, my God. You should just slow down here for a second maybe? That's exactly what I need! It's the second guitar solo that sorts the men from the boys. I was kind of counting on that, Sctan. Joey? Yeah? I think it's time to show the donkey the snake. Cut his head, cut his head, cut his head! Go, go, go! Dave! Dave! Cut his head! Big finish. Star power! Star power! Yes! Sctanley, no! Yeah! You hustled me. Yes, I did. For that, I'm sorry. You see, I sell video games, Sctanley. And this one here, in particular, in fact. And I'm proud to stand here before you and tell you it brings me as much happiness as it does for the people I provide them to. And we had a bet, and I know that you're a man of your word. Forget that you saw me and my friends and point me in the direction that I seek. I cannot confirm or deny that the one that you seek is on the singles' side. But a bet is a bet. And I will tell you how to get there. The beach is blocked by rocks. It's completely impassable. No more boats for me and my friends. I go by foot. I would be remiss if I did not advise you to wait until daylight. Do not take this journey lightly. Hmm. There is an old game path through the forest, just beyond the abandoned Starbucks. Take it to where it forks. Jog to the right. Do not go to the left. You will see lights. You don't want to go there. Keep walking. Look up and locate the belt of Orion the Hunter. I think we should be writing this down. I think Dave's got it. The stars shall be your guide. As long as we're headed east, that's the direction we're supposed to be going. I'm looking for the Little Dipper. If I could find the Little Dipper, I could find the North Star. Shane, help me find the Little Dipper. What do I look like, Harriet Tubman? Fine! I'll do it by myself, okay? You guys are no help! Just... Just... Welcome to Hump Island! It's time to feast here in the belly of the beast here at Eden East! Now can you feel it? Come on! Man, we are about to get this party started right! You guys ready? Bingo! Hey, yo, check it out, y'all! A luau fire and drum show is coming up real soon! Some of the best drummers in the whole world. Don't forget to check it out! This place is out of control. What could she be possibly getting into over here, man? Come on, let's not get ahead of ourselves. For all we know, she could be sitting in a corner sulking somewhere. Hey, we can do this. We get in, we get out, we're back before sunrise. I know... I know that girl. San Diego! I know that girl. I'm gonna go see if I can get some answers out of her. What are you talking about? I'm trying to find Trudy! Talking to locals is the best way to get information! You guys should be doing it, too. That's a great idea. We split up. That way, we find her twice as fast. Shane, with me. We shouldn't split up, we should stay together. Listen, Dave, time is of the essence, okay, and if we don't find her, here's what else. We meet back at the exit in, like, an hour, okay? Come on. Let's go. Jason, there's a ton of people here. If we split up, we're gonna... Stay with Joey. This place rocks. What are you doing? What am I doing? I'm trying to have a good time. I'm trying to have a party going on. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. We gotta find Trudy. I don't want to get into this. Come on, buddy. What, are you dying to be part of the new singles scene? Look at all these people. They're running around, they're... They're sexting, they're krumping, they're twatting each other 'cause their day's so special they have to share it with the world. It's called tweeting. I call it twatting! Look, Joey, we were single. We had our fun. We're not missing out on anything. No, you were single, you had fun. I got married early, so I never got to experience this. I have a feeling you had a chance to experience lots of things. But, look, if you want to go play "Guess Your Disease" or "Let Me Translate Your Tribal Tattoo," knock yourself out. You don't get it. I'm here trapped on an island with a woman who can't even stand the sight of me. And whose fault is that? It's not my fault! Dude, relationships are a two-way street, not a highway and a bike path. If it matters to you, work at it. And if it doesn't, then don't! But make a decision. I want to be married 'cause I want to have people I can share my life with. I don't wanna be doing this. I know what I want. I want it... Look. Hey, Dave, it's not 'cause I don't want it, okay? You make the best of your situation! My situation's to party! Yeah! Yeah, definitely. San Diego! Remember me? Where have you been? Where have I been? I've been trying to get here! Look, we'll never be able to find her. If... If I walk over there, she's gonna walk over here. If I'm on this side, she's probably gonna be on that side! All right, panicking's not gonna help, Shane. Hey, want to dance, tough guy? No, I'd step on your feet, I'd hurt you. Thank you, though. All right, now, everybody up, everybody up! This is Eden East! This place is amazing! I can't believe they kept this from us! I knew you would love it. This is why I brought you here. Vitality! Oh, it is so nice to be out with lots of people! Everyone's smiling and laughing. Don't you guys love this? It's great. In a couple more minutes, I'll just roofie myself. I will go get my special Salvadore drink, yes? Oh, yes. "Guess I am on my way." "Mighty glad you stayed!" Yes! Yes! He is so much fun! Oh, God, don't even start. I'm just having fun. No, it's just... Guys, this is too much. What's too much? Let's just get it together and chill out a little. Excuse me, I don't mean to disturb you. My name's Dave. Hi. Ronnie. Ronnie. That's a great name. Thank you. Yeah. Do you have a cell phone I could use? Why? Someone's got to call God and let him know one of his angels is missing. Wow, that is the worst line I've ever heard. Well, what do you want from me? I've been out of the game for a while. I've been slumming it with a really hot redhead. Now you're getting closer. Dave, if you're here to be an olive branch for Jason, I am not gonna talk about it tonight. I'm not here to talk about anything, I just want to see my wife. Let's go. I can't just leave these two. I think they'll survive. We sure will. They are so lucky. Now this next jam goes out to all you party people in the house! Everybody, up! Let's keep this party going, y'all! Maybe we ought to wait by the exit, so when people come out, you know... Whatever we do, we gotta do it fast. I gotta get back, gotta find my wife, you know? What do you got? You see her? That's my wife. Jennifer? Shane? God, Shane, there you are! I've been looking all over for you. Jennifer, what are you doing here? Look, I heard at the salon that you were coming to this crazy singles' island, so I just felt a strong sense of urgency that you and I needed to talk before it was too late. Jennifer, you left me, remember? I know, I know. But then I was hoping that you would come after me. It wasn't like you walked out of a bar! It was a divorce. And why are you even at this place? Do you know this place is insane? I'm getting called names. I've been called a cougar, a black panther, a puma! I had to smack this one kid. That's the last time he'll walk up to a woman talking about cougar! Yeah. I've been looking all over the place for you. And where have you been? Well, actually, I'm staying on the other side, the couples' side, with my girlfriend. What? Who? Her name is Trudy and she's aspiring to be a manager. Put it in my mouth! Go, go, go! Trudy? All right, y'all, it's almost time for the mele, the Kanikapila luau drum show! The special blend. Yes, this is a magical drink. You know what? I'm gonna go get a good spot for the show. Do you guys wanna come? No, no, we're good here. Okay. You're fine? Okay. And then there was two. Listen, I want you to come back with me. I'm not going back to the other side with you. I'm gonna stay right here, get my celebration on and get another margarita made up in my face. I came a long way to find you. Well, I know you ain't come to get a drink. You damn sure ain't come to dance. So what'd you follow me here for? No. I did. I came here to drink, party, scratch records, do it all! Do it... It's just... Just... Just... You know? What am I saying? I don't want to do any of those things. Truth is that I'm exhausted just saying them. All right, y'all, it's time for the Kanikapila luau drum show! Cynthia, hi. Excuse me. Hi. Hi. Hey, what are you doing here? You all right? I'm fine, Jason. I'm watching the show. We do have to get back before sunrise, though. Let's get a move on. I don't think that's a good idea, Jason. Come on, hon. Let's go. We're very close. Jason, I'm not going anywhere. It pains me to say this, but I gotta let you go. I love you. But we cannot do this to each other anymore. It's over. It's over. Daddy, wait. I was wrong. I don't want to lose you. I'll go back to the other side. No. Then you... You,d be doing what I did. Trying to be something that you're not. You're 20. Go be 20. All right? I will not lose you. All right? I cannot lose you. You're the whole reason that I'm here. You're the whole reason that I've done all of this. You're the whole reason that I've made a complete ass out of myself. I have failed here miserably. And that does not bother me. What bothers me is that I have failed you and I am not gonna do that ever again. All right? I love you a lot. Let's go get a drink. Oh. Honey, it has been forever since we did something like this. Yeah. You know, baby, it's funny. Since we've been here, it's like the therapist and the place has made it like we got a problem. But you know what? I think we don't have a problem. No. We got a million problems. Really? Yeah. But, honey, I think everybody has a million problems. I don't know that, like, you,re supposed to solve them all, because the simple truth of it, sweetheart, is we're married. We made a commitment to each other and to our families. And to myself. And I meant it. Shane, honey, wait. Jennifer, I don't need this. I'm done with trying to make you like me. I'm not gonna be the man you want me to be. I'm not gonna do things the way you want me to do things. I'm always gonna wear my heart on my sleeve because that's who I am. And I got a lot of friends that like me just because I'm the way I am. But it really doesn't matter because I like me. Well, I don't like you. Whatever. I love you. I can't stand picking out tiles. It drives me nuts to try to redo the fricking house. I know it does. But, you know, the one thing that we can and should always do is just kind of have fun with each other. And truthfully, sweetheart, that should be the easiest thing to do because before there was the kids or the house or the job or any of it, there was just you. And I love you, Ronnie. I love you, too, Dave. Hey, now, all you naughty boys and girls, gather 'round, gather 'round. The hell's she doing here? Who? That's my wife. She must be looking for me. I don't think so. She looks fine. You should just relax. Son of a... Excuse me! Hey! Peacock! Please, I don't want to hurt you. "Encouragement!" Joey! Baby, remember when we first met and I told you that you were the only man I'd ever been with? You lied? No, no, no, no, no. I was... I was completely inexperienced, and, honey, I didn't know what I had in you. I've been cheating on you! I've been cheating on you every chance I got! Yeah? For years, I've been cheating on you. Well, I cheated on you with more than one guy! With two... You had a three-way with two dudes? No, no! But I would have! I totally would have! Well, I would've, too! Not with two dudes! You know what I'm talking about! I thought I needed to know what it was like out there, in a real way, not like I read it in Cosmo. So I went out there and I lived it. I've had one-night stands! Okay. I've woken up in beds with men whose names I didn't even remember! I was like, "'How did I get this T-shirt on? ,' Jennifer, I get it. Land your plane. Just deal with it! You deal with it. You deal... You deal with going to Applebee's alone. What? If you don't put in effort, you're gonna be the one who ends up at Applebee's alone. Are you asking me to go to Applebee's with you? The bottom line is that none of them made me feel the love that you did. And I had to go out into the world in order for me to come back and say that I belong home. Now I'm gonna keep on spinning these fly tunes until somebody gets something going on! I'm not saying I wouldn't go to Applebee's with you! Well, I'm not saying I wouldn't go to Applebee's with you! All right, well, I would try to go to Applebee's with you. Well, I would try to go to Applebee's with you! So let's try. I want to try! Well, let's try! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I am so sorry that it took all of that. But you know what? Now I can honestly say, with love in my heart' that you are my man. Could you ever love me again? Well, you're my wife. And I never stopped loving you. Now come here and give me a kiss. This next jam goes out to all you party people in the house! And that time that you got sick, you didn't want me to see you, so you locked me out of the bathroom? No! Then I passed out! Yeah. And you called the ambulance. Well, because, before you passed out, it sounded like you were dying in there. You know? I thought I was dying. I did. Yeah, well, what was I supposed to do? I should have broken down the door. You've been a really good friend. You have been the best friend in the world to me. Now don't stop dancing, y'all! Party ain't over! It's far from over! Silence, please! Silence! I made a program for you and you decided not to follow it. You defied my instructions and you went off course. Why are we being held to a different standard, Marcel? You weren't here on time this morning. I was here before sunrise, sadly, by myself. Therefore, I chose not to wait. Marcel, I've got to be honest with you. You know... Silence! No, you silence! Please, just... I don't need some speech about moments, okay? No more, okay? I'm sorry that we kept you waiting this morning and that we didn't respect your program, but last night my wife and I, we spent some real time together, and for the first time in a long time, we woke up actually very, very happy. So, with all due respect, sir, I don't need you, or anyone else for that matter, to, you know, say anything, really. I know. Sorry? You do? Yes. That is why I am giving you this. I don't understand. I could never reveal your true inner animal spirit. It was always up to you. Cynthia, Jason, your spirit is the rabbit. No matter what obstacles are put in front of him, the rabbit will scrape and burrow and find a way to create his home. Thank you. Thank you. Lucy, Joseph. For you, the wolf. The wolf is by nature a pack animal and one of the few proud members of the animal kingdom that mates for life. Congratulations. Thank you. Hello, Jen. Welcome, Jennifer. Thank you. For you, the noble honeybee. The honeybee is committed. And though it may fly from flower to flower, collecting the sweet, sticky nectar' it has no choice but to return to the hive. Congratulations. Thank you. That's a big-ass bee. Finally, Ronnie and David. I have thought long and hard about this. I could not decide with my mind. I had to open my soul to the animal spirits. And, finally... Okay, the build-up's killing me. What do we got here? Two cheetahs? Couple of eagles? You got two lions? The ass. You are the ass. Stubborn and immovable. The mighty ass tirelessly bears the heavy burden of others. But when the ass is on the move, nothing can stop the ass. Be an ass for your marriage. Be an ass for your children. Be an ass for love. Thank you, Marcel. I'm gonna be the biggest ass you've ever seen. And now, you may spend the rest of your trip enjoying the island. Please feel free to make Eden into your own, personal Sandals. Yes. And now, jet skis! Yes, yes! Yes! Hey, hey, what's happening? I sure miss you guys. I miss you so much. And Grandpa Jim Jim let us watch Jaws! We get to eat all the candy we want! Hey, guys, the jet skis are ready! Come on! We're waiting on you! Give us one second with the kids. We'll be there in a minute. Go ahead and start. Well, listen, when we get back next weekend, we'll go to Medieval Times and we'll get some big drumsticks and lots of meat. - Yes! And we're gonna be doing a lot more of that fun stuff, guys, so get ready, okay? I'm gonna take you to the school parking lot, we'll do some donuts. Yeah! Donuts! All right, I love you. Love you, too. Here's Grandpa Jim Jim. All right. Enjoy your last few days. Hey, Dad, could you do me a favor and not give them candy every time they ask? You ought to be thanking me. I'm here at this home store returning some of the stuff that you had on that house list. Okay, thanks so much. When you.. - When you look at the coating, will you beat that guy up on the price? Kevin! That is not a real toilet. Dad, what's going on? Is everything okay? Please tell me he's not peeing in the store. It's nice to take a moment and just relax. Dad? I gotta go. I don't know him and there's no way I'm going near him. Grandpa, there's no toilet paper. Help me get my shirt off. You know, the Federal Reserve is a pimp. They want you to be in debt. That's how it works. They give you these credit cards you can't pay for, HD, motorcycles. It's all a pimp game. I BELIEVE IN ANGELS God, grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change. Grant me courage To change the things I can. And wisdom To know the difference. Marcus Aurelius (121-180) No blessing. I'm not giving my blessing. Where would she go without a blessing? Shut up, woman. A fine job you did, raising her. What I've been telling you? But no. I'm primitive, I don't understand a thing. You wanted to send her to the city, to school, to be our pride and joy. This is your school! This is your city! This is now your pride and joy! Fuck this life... Let life give her the blessing, she won't get it from me. Neither she, nor that bastard that grows inside her! BASED ON A TRUE STORY Hurry up, Miro, we're going! Miro is quick! The St. Nicholas' Day tradition goes back to year 1113 AD. We pick the oldest boat in town. Ritual burning of the boat takes place on the hill in front of the church. We do this to appease the god of the sea. We pray for the calm seas, full of fish. It's an honour to carry the statue of St. Nicholas. Local respectable men take turns in carrying the statue. Everyone wants to be close and touch it. Some say the island would bloom if the ferry to the city was more frequent. Or if there was a mobile phone signal, at least. We could connect with the world. Unfortunately, to no avail. But, don't you worry. Each one of us in our small town has a cell phone. Not a single call has ever been made from here. What can we do? People want to be part of the world. Some day the signal will come to us, too. Move these two up there, I don't want to get dirty. But I'm not sure what good would that bring. Sime, what do they say about the weather? I believe we can expect bora wind. But I already missed last time. Lebicada will start blowing. You can expect 3-5 on Bofor scale. Mist in the morning, it'll go away in the afternoon. You should sail away as late as possible. Lebicada on St. Nicholas' Day? Are you out of your mind? I told you, now it's up to you. Put this piece there, too. Lebicada on St. Nicholas' Day... - I'll be off, Stef. Bye. - See you. Come and get it! We've got nice salad! - Here I am, Ivka, Mirta. - Hi there, Sime! Bills for you... - Do you have something for me? - A letter. - Wait! Take this. - There's no need. - Thank you. Bye! - Bye. - Hey, Tesla! - Hi there, Sime. - I've got a letter for you. - Thank you. - Come in, have a drink. - No, thanks. I'm in a hurry. You're always in a hurry! - Mrs Keka, a letter for you. - Thank you. Put it away. It'll rain in the afternoon. Thank you. Mr. American! Here it is. From America. Good, good. Do you save those things for me? Of course I do. I'll get to you. Tesla, turn it off. What can I tell you? He gets scared shitless when he hears this. Pensions are finally safe! - It really scared me. - Go on, have a drink. Tesla, I can understand your inventions, your ideas... I support that, but... Can you tell me how many pension robberies we had here? I've got no idea. Of course you don't. - Do you want me to tell you? - Go ahead. Not one! Not a single robbery! Who on earth would attack me here and steal the pensions? Tie it! Tie it! - Sime! Sime! Sime! - Here it is! Excuse me, Miss, may I help you? My name is Sime. Sime the postman. - I'm looking for Ribarska St. - Ribarska? What number? Thirteen. You go left from the square, some 200-250 meters. Who are you looking for? Nobody lives there. I know. "My name is Sime. Sime the postman." - Who's that girl? - I've got no idea. But I heard she moved in late Tonka's house. She must be her relative or something. - Hold this. - I'm holding. I'm sorry, I'll be late for the Mass. - See you, Mr. Mayor. - Go ahead, work. If you say so... I'll pack this for you. It's not easy for you. No woman at home. Have something sweet. Thank you so much, aunt Anka. I'll be off, then. Wait, I've got something else. - What is it? - Take a look. Thank you so much. You really piled up a heap. I didn't peel this off, I was afraid to tear the stamp. - You'll do a better job. - Thank you so much. I asked the neighbours, too. I know that you collect these things. - Now you've got a bunch. - Thank you, I've got to go. Bye, thanks for dropping by. The series will start now. Tito, Nasser, Nehru. Tito lives. Mail for you, Countess Lily, you have to sign here. Fucking Tesla... You know what, Lily? Of all the people in this town, you're the most honest person. My Sime... what is honesty? Father Ive, praise the Lord. This was one of the best days ever! - Sime, my man! - I'll be only a minute. It was just like you said! Lebicada wind on St. Nicholas' Day! It was a good day for scorpionfish! Here's one for you. Thank you, Roko. Look at it, a real champion. - Thank you. - No problem. Come on, folks! Come and get it! Hello, 13 Ribarska St. What do you say? Out here, all the fish is as big as this one. I'd like to ask you something, if I can... No, you can't. What devil brings you here? Praise the Lord. Now and forever. It was opened, so I came in for a prayer. Do you need any help? Thank you, my child. I'm done. Sister... I'd like to give a donation to your church... if I may. You may... of course you may. We pass this on to the Child Care Centre. Here. My child... Thank you. On behalf of them. What brings you here? Have you come alone, or... I'm alone. My child... If you need anything, just ask. Thank you, Sister. I hope I won't. You never know. Hey, girl! You're not from around here, are you? Let me see... You're... twenty, maybe twenty five. Your hair is black. But your soul is deeply bothered. Here it comes. Yes, my child. I'm blind. Blind as a bat. Then how you know I'm a woman and how old I am? I've been sitting here for the past 40 years. The only thing I do here is listen to the sounds. Ma'am, if you don't mind. I... I'm sorry, but it is necessary. [Greta barking] We do a routine investigation on any accidental death, Particularly one like your brother's, where There weren't any witnesses. I don't know what to say. The police told me it was an accident. Yeah, I read the report she gave to our detective The next day about how you brother parked on the hill On account of the dead battery. Well, I've been thinking about the past four days As how I should have gone out and helped him. I should've insisted. But I don't understand how the car got down the hill. Well, you know, ma'am, that's one of the strange things. Uh, actually I was on night duty when it happened. And I was there when they remove your brother. Uh, he was working under the hood, Apparently, when the car jumped out of gear. Well? Is there something else? You're looking at me like you expect me to say something. I'm sorry, ma'am. It's just that I was wondering if you knew where the battery Is on your brother's car. Under the hood, I guess. Isn't that where there are? No, ma'am. In your brother's car, the battery's behind the seat. You see, they have these two 6-volt batteries wired Together to make a 12-volt. I don't know about electricity and cars. Well, anyway, there's one more thing. The driver thinks there was someone Else there, that your brother might have been pushed. No, he was alone when he left here. Well, it's the way he fell backwards into the car. The headlines... Please. OTIS: I'm sorry, ma'am. It's just that I... I have to check on everything. [Greta whining] Hey, that sure is a fine dog you got there. Hello there, old girl. How old is she? About five, I think. You like dogs? Oh, I got this old dog at home. I had him 13 years. I had Greta about a week. Come on, Greta. Give me the ball. Out. Hey, come on here. Hey, let's have that ball. Out, out. Out. Out! Oh, she sure has sharp teeth. She likes you. [Chuckles] Was there something else? I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name. Uh, Detective Burris. Otis Burris. Uh, no, ma'am, nothing else. Hey, yes, you are a good old dog there. I really appreciate a dog with spirit. I sure do. And one that likes people too. [Music playing] [Phone rings] Hello? No, I'm glad you called, Jeff. No, I didn't take it. You know how I am about pills. I slept pretty well, just the same. Me too. I missed you too. No, I'd love to go to lunch. I'll meet you there just before noon. Don't worry. I'm OK. I love you too. Damn it, Richard. Will you sit down? If you think on your butt like ordinary folks... Otis, it just doesn't make any sense. I mean, why would a girl like that kill her own brother? Well, you're a college boy. You tell me. Didn't they teach you any psychology up In that fancy school? Sure. I'll tell you one thing. In my opinion, the driver's telling the truth. Record's spotless. Stopped right away and he called the ambulance. Well, I'll go along with that. But, uh, might be a little more to it. Well, how do you figure that? Well, look. The girl's got to feel a lot of guilt Over the death of her old lady, right? Sure. She probably suffered severe psychological stress, Which may or may not have anything to do with it. OTIS: Right. Well, now, the way I got it figured... the girl probably Feels a lot of unconscious hostility Toward that brother of hers. I mean, after all, he's the one having a good time. And she's been shackled with her mom in the funny farm. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. It's not enough to kill her own brother. Ah, maybe yes, when you consider That now she's the only one that stands to Inherit the whole Ramsey estate. Otis, I think you're the one that's crazy. Maybe I am for listening to you. It just doesn't make any sense. Well, anyway. Wait a minute. What about that Hester woman? I mean, hell, she's the one that's got all the money. And she's still alive. Yeah she sure is. Hester is still alive. And she's got no kinfolk. Except that Audrey girl. You know something? Maybe we ought to go after her, talk to Hester Ramsey. Might give us some background information. My god. That college education wasn't a total waste, was it? Why don't you give her a ring? Hell, I've been dying to see the inside of that house Ever since I was a kid and used to steal Plums out of her damn orchard. Come on, call her up. Well, I guess I should get back. Unless you want me to take the rest of the day off. No, go ahead. I'm doing much better. It was a big help getting out of the house. I really should have taken the day off, Too, it wasn't for... what do they say? ... pressing business. I know, Jeff. I don't mind. As a matter of fact, I think I'm going Back to work myself tomorrow. Are you sure you're not pushing it? No, it'll be better at work. Now, hurry up, 'cause you're late. I'll finish my coffee. Come on by tonight? JEFF: Yeah. OK. OTIS: Yes, Ms. Ramsey. Like I was telling Richard, during the Depression, I used to ride a trolley for a nickel all the way out here To the end of the line just to steal Fruit out of your orchard. [Chuckles] I bet you were one of the boys who I took a pot Shot at with my slingshot. Well now, what's on your mind, Detective Burris. Ms. Ramsey, uh, would you say that you and your niece Are close? Oh, of course we are. But she's my sister's only daughter. And, uh, now that Stephen is... Well, now that Stephen is dead, She's the only family I have left. How did Stephen and his sister get along? Oh, just fine. They were as close as any brother And sister I've ever seen. Why do you ask? No particular reason, Ms. Ramsey. Uh, we just have to ask a lot of questions When we're checking out a possible homicide. Homicide? What are you talking about? I thought it was an accident. I read it in the newspapers. Well, yes, it may appear that way, ma'am. But, you see, we have to, uh, check out everything, Every possibility. It must have been an accident. Run over by a car? Uh, that's the way it appears, yes, ma'am. Well, if it wasn't, then someone wanted Stephen dead. Oh, that's ridiculous. I don't believe that boy had, uh, an enemy in the world. RICHARD: Seems like everyone we talk To feels about the same way. And then, of course, the next question is, who Would benefit if you were dead? Gentlemen, I'd appreciate it if you would leave. I'm not going to stand by and have you impugn The integrity of my niece. I resent the implication that Audrey is a murderess. Oh, but please, uh, Ms... Goodbye, gentlemen. Uh, one more question, Ms. Ramsey, if you please. We could find out without your help, But it'll just take more time. What is it, Detective Burris? OTIS: Could you make a guess as to the total value Of your estate, please? I suggest that your superiors contact my attorney. His name is Henry Claypool. This way out, please. All right, girl. It's OK. You'll get fed. Jeff! Why don't you take her out while I get her dinner? Come on, lady. Out we go. Oh, come on, you old mutt. Now do your thing. Jeff, don't talk to her like that. Here. Give her her dinner. If we're going out, I'm going to slip into the shower. Do you mind? I don't mind, as long as I'm invited. I think I can stand that. [Greta snarling] DAVE: Scrub right here. [Shower running] [Monique gasps] What the? Oh well. Hey, this isn't so bad. [Monique giggling] Dave, what's that? [Doorbell ringing] I'd better see who it is. I'm gonna check the breaker box. The breaker switch jumped off for some reason. Hey, who was at the door? MONIQUE: Whoever it was, they left. OK, Richard. Stand there by the front, over there A little closer to the center. That's about right. OK, now, I'm gonna kick the car out of gear. OK, you got it. Can you hold it? Yeah. Yeah, I can hold it. I'm not gonna push it far off hill though. Well, uh, tell you what, now. What I want to do is to kind of ease up on it a little bit. Like, you know, let it... as if you Were gonna let it roll forward and pick up a little momentum. And then see if you can hold it. Otis, you've got to be kidding. What if I can't stop it? Well, then I'll get a really good look at what happened. Yeah, you stay right there in case I need you. Well, of course. I was gonna do that. I'll be right there by your side, OK? Ah, ah, OK. All right. That's good. [Sighs] Well, I guess you're right. He should have been able to stop it. One thing I can't figure though... I Can't see how the car would push them into the street. Yeah, well, I don't know. Wait a minute. He could've slipped, right? He falls back as the car rolls forward. Uh, could be, I guess. RICHARD: It's got to be the way it happened. The driver... he won't swear he saw anybody push him. OTIS: No, he won't swear. Well, come on. I guess we better get this heap back to the pound. You know, it's a damn shame this thing's got that little old Whine there in the rear end. I always sort of imagined myself had a little old car like this. [Starts engine] Come on, Greta. Come on, girl. Let's go outside. MONIQUE: Audrey? Come on in, Monique. The door's open. There you are. I hope this is an imposition. It's just that I have a date tonight. I'm really glad you called. You're welcome in my hot water any time There's a plumbing problem. [Greta snarling] [Pulsating] Oh, you started me. Put that curler down. I don't want to play now. Come on, doggy. Put it down. My god! [Screaming] [Water splashing] Monique? You still here? [Gasping] POLICE RADIO: Calling 57-40. Come in, 57-40. This is 57-40. Tell the old man I'm on my way in now. Just hold your horses. POLICE RADIO: Something came in for you at 3813 Hanover Lane. You're to proceed... Hanover? That's where I just was. What the hell is this? A damn merry-go-round? [Tires squeal] [Siren wailing] [Tires screeching] No, this is Burris. Let me have Detective Donaldson. Richard, we got a problem over here at Audrey Matthew's. Uh, you better get the boys from the coroners. Yeah, that's right. I don't know yet. We haven't had a chance to talk. Just get on over here, huh. [Siren wailing] Well, girl, what happened? Who is she? Electrocuted. She was electrocuted in the bathtub. I know. I saw. But how did the curling iron fall into the tub? There's no shelf or anything above the tub. It's funny. When I saw her, I thought she was healthy. Saw who? Who was in there? The dog... just Greta. She was in the bathroom. Well, what was she doing? That's the funny thing. She was pulling the curling iron out of the water by the cord. Boy, that's some smart dog. Maybe she heard the girl scream when the curler hit the water. I guess that's what happened. God, I don't know. [Siren wailing] There's something more. What? How did the dog get in? She was locked out, I'm sure. Well, maybe... maybe the girl let her in. No. She was in the tub. I remember Monique slumped down under the water. Eyes were still open. Oh? Well, she's propped up against the end of the tub now. Well, I pulled her up from under the water. I was hoping she was still breathing, but she wasn't. But who is she? What was she doing here? Monique Berger, a friend. She lives across the street. They're working on the plumbing system. [Siren wailing] Anything else I should do? No, just stay in there and see they Don't make a mess of things. I still can't understand. Nothing explains how Greta got in. OTIS: Through the door, don't you see? But I'm sure, positive it was closed. Now, Greta is a very strong dog. It wouldn't be much of a problem for her to just push it open. It's so strange, the things she seems to be able to do. Has she ever tried to attack you, ever been vicious? Just the opposite. She's the most gentle dog I've ever known. They'll be through in there in just a minute. Oh, good. Uh, I'll be downtown in a little while. You go on with them. OK. AUDREY: I know this sounds crazy. But it's something I feel very often. When I'm with her alone, sometimes it Feels more like I'm in the room with a person. She watches me. Do you think I'm losing it? I mean, like Mom? No, no, of course not. You can handle it. Will they arrest me? No, no need worrying about that. But you'll have to admit, it looks A little bit fishy though. This is the second one to die recently, And you were the last one to see them... just you. And the dog. Richard, I want you to do something for me. Get a hold of the kennel association. See if you can trace that dog's background. Otis, trace a dog? Well, they told me that, working with you, I'd learn something every day. Look, you can get the dog's registration number From the girl. I want to know everything possible. You know, uh, name of the breeder, place of birth... All that sort of stuff. OK. And don't make a big deal out of it Now, especially with the girl. Audrey dear. It's Hester. I know, dear. Another senseless tragedy. No, no, no, there's nothing you can do about it. Just leave it to the police. Yes. I'll tell you why I called. I've called the vet. Yes, I'm going to take Greta to get her shots. No, I'd be glad to do it. It'll give you a chance to rest, dear. Oh, yes. And, uh, by the way, um, you know that tag, that other tag That Greta's wearing? Well, I know it sounds silly. But, uh, I'd like her to keep it. Oh, thank you, dear. Yes, I'll be right over. Of course. Goodbye. What did you find out? Cause of death? Drowning. Her lungs contained water. But it's hard to tell. Cardiac risk occurred about the same time, Caused by electrocution. Signs of struggle? None. She was burned somewhat, but that's Consistent with electrocution. Was it an accident? Well, I don't know yet. Just, uh, let me know if you find anything, Doc. Anything at all. Well, there was something else. Maybe not much. There were a couple of hair in her hand. Looked like animal hair. Get those to the lab. And, Cliff, I want that report fast. I'll do my best. Thanks. Come on, Greta. [Door creaks] [Ominous voices echoing] [Pet squeaking] [Owl hooting] [Phone rings] Hello? Who is this? Oh, Detective Burris. No, it's all right. I needed to get out. What would you want with the dog? All right, then, but she's not here. Hester took her to the vet. You'll have to pick her up over there. No, just bring her here after. And Mr. Burris? Take good care of her. [Dogs barking] Detective Burris, this dog's a pussy, let me tell you that. There's no way that I'd ever make her a violent. When a dog acts like that, she's never going To have a killer instinct. Well, thanks a lot. You just shot my best theory right in the ass. Come on, Greta. Let's go, girl. Come on. There we go. [Dogs barking] Oh. Going a little fast. OK, Greta. I'll go buy you a hamburger, all right? [Dog barks, kids playing] Think you let me win today. I never let anyone win. It's too hard on my ego. Either way, it felt to get out and get some exercise. While you're in the shower, I'll scramble some eggs And make some of my special pancakes. Pancakes for me? And for me. Something to restore that energy we've burned out. JEFF: Only if you got lots of honey. My wallet. I left it at the court. I hooked it on the chain-link fence. I'm so stupid. No problem. We'll just walk back. No, I'll go back. You stay here with Greta. It'll be faster. JEFF: OK, Greta. That's try to stay awake while she's gone. [Greta whimpers] Yes, you're a good dog, Greta. [Ambient growling] [Choking] Jeff! No! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! [Sobbing] [Wailing] No. No. No. No. No. Please. So the guy was choked to death. You sure, Doc? Yes, absolutely. Not only that, it appears it was done with one hand... someone With a very strong right hand. So you're saying that he was choked By a guy using just one hand? Yeah. There was severe damage to the larynx, the esophagus. There's no doubt it was strangulation. That doesn't make sense. Broad daylight, no robbery. And if there was an assault, why didn't the dog bark? I can't solve the case. I can only tell you how the young man died. Not a single person heard a damn thing, And yet there were people all around. Hey, Doc. Is it possible that... that a girl could have strangled him? On, the top my head I'd say no. The hand print on his throat was too large for most women. And I doubt if any woman would have that much strength. Why do you ask? Oh, hell, I'm grasping at anything, Doc. I mean, he was with a girl. It was her dog. You'd think if it had been anybody else's dog, It'd have barked or done something. My god, the dog's a monster who must weigh 125 pounds. Boy, I'll tell you, I wouldn't want to try to strangle anybody With that critter around. No one saw or heard anything? Uh, nothing. It was a total blank. And the guy was by myself for only three minutes or less. We timed the trip back to the tennis court. Doc, are you absolutely sure he was strangled? You want to come see for yourself? Oh, no, no. There is another thing. The victim apparently fought back. How is that? The knuckles on his right hand were bloody. OK, Doc. This one I've got to see for myself. Let's go. [Cat meowing] HESTER: Well, young man? RICHARD: Oh, yes. Ms. Ramsey. I was just looking for... HESTER: Snooping around? Uh, spying, I believe they call it. No, ma'am. Nothing like that. I just heard some sounds, like animals, and was... Oh, call it natural curiosity. That's what got me into this business, I guess. I'm just naturally curious. Well, I assure you, there is nothing here Nor any place else on my property that could Interest you in the slightest. I realize it's been difficult for you With all that's happened. Look here. I don't like to see anyone die. But I didn't know this Jeff boy at all. Were he and your niece engaged? Not really. There wasn't a ring or anything. Did he stay at her house? He had his own apartment. Suppose she stayed with them? That would hardly be the behavior I'd expect from my niece. Check up on her very often? Lord no. Since her mother's death, I've look in on her Once in a while just to see if I could help. Ms. Ramsey, this is a question I have to ask. Do you know of anyone who would want Jeff Ingram dead? I don't know anyone who even knew who he was. Now... well, except Audrey. Does that answer your question? I know it's crazy, but it's the only thing That makes any sense. No, it doesn't. Look, we know that she and the guy Were getting real serious, right? Well, maybe she got jealous about something. [Mutters with mouth full] Maybe she had somebody jumping. Mm-mm. No. I don't think she's involved. RICHARD: Why not? She has a pretty face, sweet smile. Look, I don't pretend to know the answers. I'm just trying to figure out the problem. I'll tell you one thing though... I want to know everything there Is to know about that dog. [Faint radio chatter] Now, tell me how you're doing. I don't know. Rotten. Confused. There's a whole nightmare going on all around me. I'm starting to see a doctor. One of those that Mother went to. Is that a good idea, uh, all the memories and all? Guess I trust him. One of the few I really trusted. OTIS: I wish we could have some good news for you. We don't have much of it yet. Seems like with that boy we're just... any little thing Will be of help. Right now, I'd like to see the chain the dog Was wearing in the park. Greta's leash? Why? Mm. Grasping at straws, I guess... Nothing for you to worry about. Well, OK. Sure. OTIS: How is she, Greta? AUDREY: Oh, fine. Maybe a little more restless than usual. [Snarling] Here it is. What's important about the leash? Oh, nothing probably. You know, I'm just checking on anything. Do you have a headache? Yeah. It's an occupational hazard at my age, I guess. Probably a lot of sinus too. There's a lot of dust in the air today. Well, let me get you some aspirin. Oh. If you would, uh, think this will be better. If it's a little seltzer, if you'd dump it in a small glass Of water, please. Sure How about some coffee? Uh, no, no. No thanks. Water's fine. [Sink runs] [Rustling] AUDREY: If you're hungry, I could make you a sandwich. Give me something to do. Maybe you haven't eaten. OTIS: No thanks. I had something. I do appreciate it. [Greta growling] Oh boy, this is a real sick headache. Better wait a while. It's still bubbling a lot. OTIS: Well, I like it best. [Gasps] [Gagging] My god, what's wrong? [Audrey screaming] What happened? What's wrong with him? AUDREY: The do... Damn it, I want to know what happened here. Now, what's wrong with her? [Audrey sobbing] You get on the phone. Call an ambulance now! Do it! [Growling] [Shrieks] Get over here, Greta. Come here. Dear Greta. There, Greta. Good girl. Oh, you are a good girl, Greta. We did well, didn't we? Now I have a surprise for you. You'll see. Come on, Greta. We're going to play one of our favorite games. Sit. You're a good girl. [Rock clatters] Here, girl. Go, catch it. Catch it. [Greta barking] Go on. Go on. [Greta yelping] [Pot clanging] [Low growling] [Barking viciously] [Hester screaming] [Loud scream] [Pained moaning] [Pained moaning] [Greta barking] [Hester screaming] I may have been expelled, but I am still the best. Wu-tang! Good morning, Master Law! Jun-kit... Our students used to learn kung-fu as Shaolin monks. Any better now? Yes, Master! Fung-wu! Do all our students understand the mystery of the sword? Yes, Master! They all understand! Good morning, Master Law! Let's get together tonight at the old place. I'll be the host. No, I should be the host! I will be the host! I'll be the host! I've told you I'll be the host! I'll be the host! Don't argue! No... I will! Don't argue! I'll be the host, do you hear? Fung-wu... What's happened to you? There's nothing to argue about! Don't snatch! Who's the host really? I am! I am! Fung-wu, try to use our sword skills! Jun-kit, attack him with the Shaolin fist! Master, we shouldn't show them too much of our sword fighting. Master, they'll imitate our Chin Kang Fist. The Wu-tang won't imitate your Shaolin fist. The Shaolin won't imitate your Wu-tang sword. Don't despise our Wu-tang kung-fu. I think sooner or later, we'll have a competition with Wu-tang. I'll be expecting you! Alright, go! Mr. Hong, Chung-Ian, come! Mr. Hong, please drink it! Come on, bottoms up! Bottoms up! Don't hesitate, drink it! That's more like it! - Chung-Ian, serve them well. - Please excuse me. I've got to go out for a walk. Please don't leave! He feels shy around women. Not like me! Yes... you're more handsome. Ridiculous! What do you mean? Don't stop me! Please be more polite! That's none of your business! Don't get angry! Shut up, or I'll beat you! Get up! Let's go and have a look. What's happened? Don't go! - Let's have a look. - There's fighting outside. I haven't fought! Please don't misunderstand me! I just came to stop the fight. He's fantastic! Fantastic! I can't fight, I'm innocent. You've cheated me. Now you have taken my girls. I haven't! You don't have to deny it. I understand! Good! Wu-tang will not lose to your Shaolin fist. Shaolin? Wu-tang? What a minor art! Are you really good at kung-fu? He's inferior to you! Please excuse me! Thanks! Shaolin won't lose to you Wu-tang. Jun-kit, you want to compete with me? Good... let them compete! Sure, if you're interested! Good fist! Watch out! Shaolin Chin Kang Fist is not bad. But now watch mine! Are you alright? The Wu-tang Sword is really fierce. Please stop or someone will get killed! How come? We're good friends. Mr. Wong, this way please! Let's go! Shaolin and Wu-tang are really so fierce. Yes, Your Highness! I saw them fight myself. Chin Kang Fist of Shaolin! 8-divine Sword of Wu-tang! If only... Your Highness, that's easy! We have gyms of both martial arts schools here. We'll bring them here! Wait. - Sung Chi! - Yes! Invite the master of the Shaolin martial arts school here. I have an idea! Cheers! I've always admired Shaolin kung-fu very much. Especially your kung-fu, Mr. Liu! Not at all, Your Highness! I just know a little, you don't have to praise me. I haven't exaggerated it. Your fist is really marvelous. Of course, if my master's kung-fu wasn't good, I wouldn't be his student. Shut up! Please excuse her, she's spoiled! She's right. I've this intention to learn, too. You wish to learn kung-fu from my master? Shut up! His Highness is such a noble person. Master Liu, I know Shaolin kung-fu has never been learned by my people. But the time has come for them to start learning. Your Highness, although kung-fu is for everyone, I'm really not capable of being your master. So you turn me down? Don't move! Your Highness! Please sit down! Mr. Liu, I hope you'll reconsider. Come on, let's drink! Come on, cheers! Cheers! Close all Shaolin schools in this area! Yes! Your Highness, please don't be emotional. Don't you still want to learn Shaolin Chin Kang Fist and Wu-tang 8-divine Sword? If Law Ching of the Wu-tang also refuses to hand over the 8-divine Sword book, what shall we do? I've got an idea. You'll have the book. I must have it by any means. Mr. Law, please! Please! Playing chess is like having a sword fight. Strong, fast, and accurate. What a good sword, your Highness... Do you think your Wu-tang sword is better than mine? I came here tonight to play chess. Please don't mention anything about swords. Mr. Law, you're a funny person. Please! Please! Cannon, move to 2! Knight, up to 3! Chariot! Check! Like master, like student! Fung-wu, stand back. Your Highness, this wine is! Master, it must be an extra old vintage. Very smart. Check! Good move! This bottle is a gift from the king. A rare wine! Yes, it can stimulate the belly of warriors. Master, it's good for your stamina, too. Check! You'll lose! Good move. Please have a drink! Master Law! Thanks! One more! Your Highness, how about you? I used to have it every day! Try more, this is a good wine. Master, you better try one more! That's right. With good wine and lovely women, everything is changed. Even a master will ignore his student's presence. Then I'll have one more. Please do! Your Highness is right. I'll leave for a bit. Perhaps when I'm gone, you'll win your next game of chess. Please excuse me, Your Highness. Please! Disgusting! Disgusting! What a smart guy, please! Please! Mr. Law, you want more wine? How are you? Check! Good move! Are you alright? Are you alright? This wine can stimulate warriors. I think it's just the opposite. You want the antidote? I assume your offer depends on what I offer. What's your intention? Wu-tang 8-divine Sword! Give me the book, or you'll suffer more. Check! Mr. Law, you have lost! Speak! You'll tell me sooner or later. Tell us! What? Don't be nervous! You're losing so badly! Fung-wu! You want me to move for you? You're afraid of losing to me? I will not lose to the Wu-tang. Don't be afraid! I haven't taught him the art of 8-divine Sword. Master! You better tell me before it's too late. Fung-wu, take the sword! The sword? Yes, give him the sword! Master! How are you? Don't... don't ask! Listen to me! Master, you! You! Single-line! And the next strike? Speak! Sinking Dragon! Peacockering! Swinging Dragon Tail! Master! Master! Jumping Dragon, I! Master, I... didn't mean it! Fung-wu, you... you've done the right thing. Why? I've hurt you! Remember! Don't let the Ching have our book. Master! Master! Why did you kill Law Ching? Why did you force my master to die at my sword? I didn't force him! Now I understand. This is your filthy trick to get our book. Nonsense! It was the Shaolin! Shaolin? Impossible! Impossible? Why? The poison your master drank is familiar to the Shaolin. Shaolin temple! Stop! Sung Chi! Execute him for the murder of his master. Your Highness, Law Ching has cheated you. His student definitely knows 8-divine Sword. Arrest him! 8-divine Sword? Don't stop! How are you? Speak! Yes, or you'll have to suffer more! But I don't know 8-divine Sword. How can I tell you? Your Highness, please stop! Why? The man has the same temperament as his master. He won't tell you even if you kill him. What can I do then? I got an idea. What is it? I can guarantee success with my idea. - Your Highness will have to be patient. - Why? If you can be patient, I'll guarantee you'll have the books of Chin Kang Fist and 8-divine Sword. Brother! What is it? Fung-wu killed his master! He killed his master? How can it be? How can it be? It's true! Fung-wu's master was playing chess with His Highness. Suddenly, he held a sword in his hand and plunged it into his master's body. That's unreasonable. How can it be? I saw it myself. His master told him before he died that he'd done the right thing. Done the right thing? That's strange. What happened afterwards? His Highness arrested him for murder. Did he resist? It was useless! He's helpless! Yan-ling, don't be sad! I'll find out the truth. 1, 2, 3! 1, 2, 3! 8! 1, 2, 3! 3, 4! You! Chao Fun, if you want to taste delicious food, give me the Sword Book. Lock him up with crazy girls? Then he'll become crazy, too! I never knew what a fierce, filthy fellow His Highness is. What's the situation inside? He's exhausted now. Then! I have a request! Jumping Dragon! Facing the moon! Falling sun! Falling sun! I won't tell you... no! Shaolin... you're too filthy! H... How did you end up here? I! Meal! Let me go, do you hear? You crazy women! Let me go! Don't pull me, let me go! Do you hear? You crazy women! Remember my strikes! Use this to save him! Can't you hear? Let me go! This! I'll kill you if you don't take your hands off me! Let me go! Let me go! Do you hear? Don't hold my hand! Let me go! Fierce, crazy women! What are you doing? Nothing! Distribute the meals! Yes! Meal! Meal! - Meal! - No rice! Fire! Put down the fire! - Her, too? - Don't say anything, run! Is this place safe? Yes, absolutely safe! - We have to treat Fung-wu. - Right. Come on! Come on! Jun-kit! Although you saved me, Shaolin caused my master's death by my hand. Why do you say that? The Shaolin persuaded His Highness to get our 8-divine Sword Book. - Shaolin wouldn't do such a thing. - You've always despised the Wu-tang. And you're afraid that someday we'll overtake you. You... So you used your medicine to poison my master. Nonsense! You're scared that our power will surpass yours. Nonsense, don't flatter yourself. Our Wu-tang... Someone is trying to pin the blame on us. Then where did His Highness get your medicine? Where is your proof that the medicine is ours? His Highness said so. His Highness? Then why did he lock you up with the crazy women? Because I'm guilty of killing my master. Your master threw himself onto your sword. And now His Highness wants to learn your secrets. I won't tell him! Master told me before he died not to let the Tartars have the secrets of Wu-tang. The Shaolin would never reveal our secrets either. You want to see the Wu-tang destroyed, hence your trickery. Brother! What are you doing? What are you doing? Mr. Chao! Mr. Hong! Fung-wu, even if we were to learn your 8-divine sword, she already knows Chin Kang Fist. Chin Kang Fist? Jun-kit, you taught her the Chin Kang Fist to help me, but you still haven't taught me. You haven't learned it? Did you teach him? - I! - Eh, the answer is... no. No? Then why did you save her from jail? You taught her to save me. It's only fair I save her. What's your relationship with this girl? Tell me! Fung-wu, the Highness is behind this. He deliberately pinned the blame on us. Someone is there! We're surrounded, let's go inside. - They're the Ching army! - And archery, too! What shall we do now? Their aim is Mr. Chao and me. We'll escape in different directions. Fung-wu, you and Miss Cheung should escape out the back window. Yan-ling and I will fight them in the front. Shoot! Now! Run! You go first, I'll stop them! Miss Cheung! Run! Let's go together. I taught you to fight. Watch out! You have come back? Chin Kang Fist? 8-divine Sword? Fantastic! Still fighting! - You're? - Wu-tang! Then you're my uncle! Chao Fung, you know the sentence for killing your master. - He had no choice. - Yan-ling, keep calm. You're? Cheung Ching Tse! I'm willing to receive any punishment. Please punish me! He didn't kill his master. Who are you? Yan-ling of the Shaolin! Shaolin? Uncle! This is our internal affair. Yan-ling! Uncle! Uncle, she just came to save me. Alright, let's go back and have our senior be the judge. - Don't go! - No. Be careful! Yan-ling! We came here today to catch the traitor Chao Fung. We've no quarrel with anyone else. Chao Fung, you have nothing to do with her anymore. Leave her. Uncle, he didn't intend to kill his master. - But he did kill his master! - Uncle! Yan-ling! It's worthwhile to die in your arms. Yan-ling, you... The arrows feel uncomfortable. Please pull them out for me, so I can die more peacefully. Fung-wu! Take care of yourself! Bring him away! Yan-ling! Yan-ling! Yan-ling! Brother, Wu-tang... Wu-tang? Wu-tang? We'll be enemies forever! I! Chao Fung, this is a Wu-tang closet for meditation. You better do your penance here! Amida Buddha! Sir! Please wait. Amida Buddha! Shaolin stands high on a mountainous pinnacle and is the origin of all martial arts. Please give me a chance. We can't just accept students on their own behalf. Please treat this as an exceptional circumstance. I can't make that decision. Who can? The Chief Monk! I'll look for him! Please don't disturb him. He's in the chamber resting. I traveled here with hardship. Please don't disappoint me! Amida Buddha, please turn back. No, I'll never go back. I'll beg the Chief! Behave yourself! I want to go in! Brother! Behave yourself in the temple! I want to be a monk. Who's your chief? We don't accept anybody as a monk so easily. Mercy! Mercy! Shaolin was founded because of our ancestor's determinate spirit. Brothers, what's your opinion? We'll obey our chief! Thanks! Amida Buddha. From now on, you'll be known as Tat-chi. Since you're now a monk, you must remain single and stay here to practice and to train yourself. Obey all our regulations! Thanks! Tat-chi, you've learned kung-fu before, so you needn't start from scratch. Tomorrow, you'll practice with the Four Escorts. Yes! Fat-tao, I'll hand over Tat-chi to you. Yes. Tat-chi! Have a rest! I wish to continue. Tat-chi has made good progress! Chin Kang Fist is really mysterious. Brother, it can turn death into life. Good sword! Brother, your 8-divine Sword is fantastic. Yue-lam, you must have suffered a lot. Otherwise, I would not have been able to learn Chin Kang Fist and 8-divine Sword. Brother, I know how much you love kung-fu. What I've done is worthwhile! Good girl! But I wonder if I learned it thoroughly enough. It'll be alright! With His Highness's background, he can learn everything. Your Highness, you'll be the ruler of the martial arts world. Sung Chi! Each faction has its characteristics. All parties are getting stronger and more formidable. And they are all Han. It's a threat to our Dynasty! You're right! But don't worry. I have an idea that will destroy both parties. What's your idea? Your Highness, Shaolin and Wu-tang are traditional rivals. We can kill two birds with one stone. How? Your Highness, order the two factions to merge into one. So that they'll fight each other! Right, they'll fight each other! But that's against the spirit of kung-fu. Yue-lam! You must understand that this is my duty. I've got to do this! Teach him starting from tomorrow. Give him a firm foundation, and he won't disappoint us. Sure! Pervading bright future! We'll call you Ming-kai. You'll be our Wu-tang priest. Everlasting Buddha! Everlasting Buddha! Thanks for your teaching! Cheng-ching, you'll practice with Ming-kai. Yes! Stick! Use your wrist! Yes! Don't let him hurt you at all. Yes! Ming-kai! Please excuse me! Your 8-divine Sword is superb now. I think you can beat Shaolin. Tat-chi! Monk Ming-dun! Tat-chi, your Chin Kang Fist has progressed remarkably. And if you can improve your physical strength as well, nobody can beat you. Thanks for your kind teaching. You never practice. Sir? You always act as if it's for real. You must be hiding something. Actually, the real reason why I wanted to join the Shaolin was purely to get revenge. Amida Buddha, who is your enemy? Wu-tang! Wu-tang? Wu-tang originated from Shaolin. They are so ambitious as to compete with us. The Highness will be the host of this competition. Then please send me! That's what's in my mind. But we still have to get our chief's approval. Tat-chi has only been with us for a short time. He's still got a lot to learn. How can he be our representative? Please decide, Chief! Why do you propose that Tat-chi fight? Although he has a short history with us, he has great potential and a firm foundation. He would make an ideal representative. Only a senior student can represent our temple. How is your sole testimony supposed to sway me? I don't think we should let seniority decide. Then since you must continue to insist, I would like to test him! You don't have to argue anymore then. Yes! Tat-chi, would you like to compete with Fat-chi? I'm willing to accept it! Tat-chi! You must do your best! Please excuse me then! Very nice! Fat-chi, excuse me! Tat-chi, your strikes still cannot demonstrate a sure win. Try your Chin Kang Fist now. Let's see how you do with that. Tat-chi! Tat-chi! Yes? Tat-chi, you have realized the secrets of Shaolin. Chief, I think Tat-chi is skilled enough to be our representative. Amida Buddha! The Shaolin and Wu-tang parties have both arrived as planned. If they can fight each other, Your Highness will surely have the advantage. You'll be the ruler. Will the two representatives please come out? Remember to eliminate unnecessary doubts. Please start the fight! Stand back! Shaolin monks say that the Wu-tang school originated from them. Does the Shaolin still say that? Amida Buddha, yes! Wu-tang founder San-feng broke our rules and was expelled. That's enough! He was expelled because Shaolin was jealous of his ability. We are the best fighters. Nonsense! Wu-tang is too proud! We're only telling facts. Please don't argue! I trust this contest will decide which school is better once and for all. - Yes! - Yes! Who will be the representatives? Ming-kai! Tat-chi! Fung-wu? Jun-kit? You! - Ming-kai! - Tat-chi! So you're the representatives. - Yes. - Yes. Fantastic! I've already heard much about you. This will be a magnificent fight! This is really an honor. Yes! Sir, I won't fight! Sir! Ming-kai, we must count on you. Tat-chi, the Shaolin are depending on you. Start! Go. Go. Sung-chi! No matter who wins, see that my orders are carried out. This is a fair duel. I'll decide the winner and the new ruler of the martial arts world. Watch out! Not bad! You've improved a lot, too. Don't stop! Fight! Fight! Watch out! Why do you want to be a priest? To avenge my master. Why are you a monk? To take vengeance for my sister. Yan-ling was killed by the Wu-tang. Which one of you killed her? - We didn't kill your sister. - Liar! Your sister was killed by someone else. Trust me, we're friends! I ain't your friend! I'm your enemy! Yes! Use full strength! Stop talking! Fight! Go! Ming-kai, use 8-divine Sword. Wu-tang, why didn't you use full force? How did you know? Go on! Why did you intentionally miss him? How did you know I missed him? Chin Kang Fist? 8-divine Sword? Yes! You better not play any tricks! We won't. It's just a contest, so there's no need to kill each other. Nonsense! What do you mean? Mean? Chin Kang Fist and 8-divine sword are both impressive. I can't distinguish which is better. That's why I invited you both here. I want to know which is better. That is the reason! That will deepen the hatred between us. I don't care! You want us to kill own men! Yes, kill them all! - And if we won't? - And if we won't? Listen, I want you to fight with your own men. Only the winning side can survive. Or all will be killed. We have no choice! Tat-chi, do your best! Ming-kai! - I won't use 8-divine Sword. - You! My fists will suffice! - Fung-wu, take the sword! - There's not much time left! Take your sword! Fung-wu! Take it! - Shoot! - No shooting! Stop! No shooting! Stop! - Sister! - Take the sword! - Do it! - No! You must take the sword! Sister! I'll force him to fight! What do you mean? If you kill them, how can we tell which faction is superior? So you tricked us! You filthy woman! You induced me to avoid the archery. You all go out! Sister, what are you doing? Brother, you must not kill them now. You go away! Brother, forget about it! Brother! Jun-kit, what strike is that? Please excuse me! Come on! Good strike! You haven't learned this sword before. He certainly hasn't! Fung-wu, I'll give it back. You fight better than me! Take the sword. Just fight! You haven't seen this Chin Kang Fist before. Brother, stop. He's changing styles. I'll see what else they've got! How about my fist? You want to learn? Brother, are you hurt? It's alright, I haven't hurt him! Ridiculous. Go! Stop! It's none of your business! You'll get hurt! I told you! You'll get hurt. You traitors mixed the two factions. No, we haven't. Actually, they're the same style. Yes, you just haven't realized it. Kung-fu is no fixed motion! It's endless! Go! Stop! Stand back! They're geniuses to have mixed the two factions. I must kill the two traitors! Brother, they set a good example. We shouldn't kill them. Fung-wu's master and Jun-kit's sister were killed by us so that we could learn their styles. They taught us, so they're our masters now. Release them! - Brother! - Your Highness! - He's a monk now! - He's a monk now! Master! Yan-ling, behave like a girl! Master, I wish to go to the restaurant with you. Go then! What are you talking about? Nothing! What did you say? Tell me. What are you doing? - She wants me to buy her flowers. - It's not true, Master! That's enough... I'll buy you some then. You naughty pair, go! It's all your fault! - Don't behave like that next time! - It's all your fault! He asked me to go to the brothel with him. So you! Surely you know what kind of man he is by now. You! Interesting? Mr. Chao, are you satisfied with three girls? Not bad... not bad! That's fine, enjoy yourself! Ah-chuen! Master! Reward! Yes! Thanks, sir! Well, let me continue! Do you know what's happened to him? What? He can't stand it! Look how happy you are. Jun-kit, you should enjoy yourself in this place. Why are you sitting there like a fool? Come on, cheers! Chung-Ian, go and toast to Mr. Hong. Take it! Go! Hold it, lady, what are you doing? Looking for somebody! Who are you looking for? Chao Fung-wu. Chao Fung is at a chess game with his master and Highness. Having a chess game? I'll join them. His Highness has ordered that there be no disturbance. It's alright! I won't tell anybody if His Highness loses. What are you doing? I'm just looking for his student. No! No? Surround her! This is ridiculous! Go away, or we'll do something! I won't leave unless I see Fung-wu. Brother! Yan-ling, why do you figtht with them? You better go away with your sister. And don't disturb the chess game! The chess game? He's playing chess with Mr. Law! You came to find Fung-wu. Yes, they just won't let me in. Mr. Royal Guard! We are friends of His Highness. You should at least tell Fung-wu that she's here. That's right! No disturbance, that's an order. Yan-ling! Jun-kit! What happened? Fung-wu! Stop! What's this all about? They won't let Yan-ling see you. You must have provoked them! No! He said there can be no disturbing the chess game. Is it true? It's the Highness's order. No disturbance from anybody. Please go to Mr. Chao! And you two better leave. You better go back! Fung-wu! Go back, don't cause any trouble! Let's go! I feel something odd will happen tonight. Now why is chess so mysterious? It's a game. You go on ahead. I'll keep watch here. Make sure you don't fight! I won't! We don't accept anybody as a monk so easily. I want to acquire the mystery of Shaolin kung-fu. I'm a sincere Buddhist. What's wrong with accepting me? Please calm down! Don't be emotional. Please leave! I must see the chief. Brothers, the way he fights looks similar to us! Stop! He must have a particular reason. Brother! We'll let our chief decide! Thanks very much! Chief, we couldn't stop him from entering here. Please accept me! Why do you want to be my student? My master Liu Chung belonged to Shaolin. He was a student of Wu-mei. I wish to learn more about kung-fu. Although you're a Shaolin student, you're too eager to kill, so we can't accept you. He was anxious to enter the temple and so fought with our fellow monks. That's why he gives off a killer's aura. Fat-chi! What's your opinion? I still sense a killer's aura on him. Sorry, but I can't accept you! Chief, I'll never leave this temple! Behave yourself, this is a sacred place. Buddhism mentions fate. I'm here, that's fate. Why don't we keep him? This will set a bad precedent. Amida Buddha! Mercy! Mercy! Shaolin was founded because of our ancestor's determinate spirit. Brothers, what's your opinion? We'll obey our chief! Fung-wu, why did you kill your master? I'm innocent! Those that have broken our regulations must be locked in the closet, no matter how senior he is. But my master... Before I leave here, I hope you learn patience. I knew your master well. He was a friend. Fung-wu, I promise you I'll see what I can do. Thanks! His Highness has initiated a competition between Shaolin and Wu-tang to elect the ruler of the martial arts world. Which chamber should be our representative? I think among the various chambers, the Four Escorts are our best fighters. I think the Pine Crane Chamber is enough. Yes... enough! You're a senior, and your kung-fu is acknowledged to be the best. Your 8-divine sword is superb now. You'll surely win! Yes, we'll win! Yes... we'll win! This contest is to see who will be supreme chief. It decides the destiny of Wu-tang. We can't underestimate Shaolin. What you mean is? Monk Wo-tao will be out tomorrow. I think we better let him decide. Shaolin Chin Kang Fist requires great speed. It attacks the enemy at all his vital points. 8-divine Sword may not be able to counter it. And your opinion is? Unless we can understand the Chin Kang Fist, we'll lose and bring disgrace to Wu-tang. But I know someone who can beat the Shaolin. Which chamber does he belong? He's not a priest. He's Chao Fung-wu. Chao Fung-wu! According to our regulations, a guilty person cannot be our representative. Furthermore, Chao Fung-wu isn't our student... He's the only one who knows how to fight the Chin Kang Fist. If he can represent us, he can win. Then all charges will be dropped. That's a good point. If he wins, he'll be pardoned. $50,000, they do pass. $50,000, they don't. I smell a rat. Been dead at least 24 hours. My sensors detect the vehicle is armored with my protective shell. He took the bait. We hooked him real good. I was always strongly attracted to you. Michael, he's coming right for us! Knight Rider, a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. michael Knight, a young loner, on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law. michael, I've searched my data banks thoroughly, I can't find one redeeming quality about gambling. KITT, look at it this way: gambling is all odds. It's pure mathematics. Come on, I'll show you. I'd rather not. A little computer blackjack, $1 a hand. I'm the house, you're the player. I believe the word is "sucker. " Okay. I've got a nine up, and you've got a five and a six for 11. Do you want a card? I want to double down. KITT, that's doubling your bet and you only get one card. You sure you wanna do that? Is the house in the habit of advising the player? Your money. I believe that's 21. Thank you, michael. They call that "beginner's luck," pal. As I understand it, the phrase is, "shut up and deal. " Hold on to your horses, hotshot, we've got Devon on the line. Hello, Devon! Hello, michael. I'm glad to see that you're getting into the spirit of things. Yeah, I'm already $2 behind. What's up? Uh, there's, uh, someone I want you to check out for me since you're going through Las Vegas, anyway. Her name is, um, Rita Wilcox. She works at Caesars Palace. Okay, what are we looking for? I'm not sure. She tells a provocative but fantastic story about a missing brother. All right. I'll see what she has to say. With any luck, we should be pulling in to Vegas about 10:00, 10:30 tonight. See you later. Right. Have a good day. Uh, you won't be here. I beg your pardon? Here, at 10:00 or 10:30. Your date tonight. Yes. The liaison in question is hardly a "date," it's an appointment. Devon, she's a very beautiful woman. Yes, however she's also the widow of Wilton Knight, who, as you may recall, created and continues to fund the foundation for which we both work. Oh, I recall. Yes. However, you're quite right. She is a beautiful woman. She's also a woman who never does anything without a purpose. Devon. Elizabeth, how nice to see you. You remembered. How could I forget? Devon, you look absolutely wonderful. And so do you. I believe, you used to say, "living well is the best revenge. " Until someone comes up with a better phrase, I still do. Gin and tonic? You remember. I'm so glad you phoned. How long has it been? Three years? Three years and four months. But who's counting? I am. I'm not telling you anything you didn't already know. I was always strongly attracted to you. And you knew it. So did Wilton. That's why The Foundation saw so little of me. Elizabeth, we've known each other for too long not to keep it simple. What is it you want? Oh, Devon, you know better than that. When Sigmund Freud lay dying, his students all gathered about him and they asked if there was one question his work had not answered. And he replied, "What a woman really wants. " Well, there's no need to be coy. Well, there's certainly no need to rush. The future is still the future. It will reveal itself when it chooses. . Oh, a storm is threatening. . My very life today. . If I don't get some shelter. . Oh yeah, I'm gonna fade away. . War, children. . It's Just a shot away, it's Just a shot away. . War, children. . It's Just a shot away, it's Just a shot away.. Boy, do I feel lucky. Well, then don't play with her. She's a killer. Yeah. Garthe? No. No, name's Michael. Does that surprise you? Uh, no, no. It's, uh, just that you look so much like somebody I-I know. Uh, place your bet. Hi, Rita, name's Michael Knight. Devon Miles from The Foundation sent me. I said not to send anybody here. I can't talk here. Okay, where? Uh, I get off at midnight. Okay, thank you. And so I did everything the magazines say a wealthy, attractive divorcee does. And more. Thank you, Roger. That will be all tonight. Although I don't suppose there was anything that would unduly shock a man, who appreciates life as much as you do. And I gave up being shocked years ago. I must tell you that I'm having a wonderful time. In spite of a nagging suspicion that somewhere, you have an ulterior motive hidden between the entree and dessert. No, no, no, no, no. No ulterior motives. No, I gave that up long ago. When I want something from a man, he knows it. Devon, would you be a dear and open a window? It's a bit stuffy in here, don't you think? Yes, of course. I was gonna be a singer and Ron played piano. He played everything. Classical, bluegrass, electric rock. Anyway, when we ran out of money, we stopped here and I got a job dealing blackjack at Caesars. The next thing I know, this mysterious man, the one you look so much like, Garthe, he wouldn't leave me alone. Flowers every day, gifts. One of the gifts was a job for Ron. The plot thickens. I suppose so. I sure didn't see it at the time. Ron did odd jobs for him. It all began so innocently. And we went out twice. A limo to pick me up. Carte blanche at the best shops in town. So many flowers sent to the apartment that Ron's old allergies came back. Well, it sounds all right to me. All except for the allergies. What happened? I've always believed in love and romance, pretty much in that order. Garthe made it clear that he didn't. He prefers to buy what he wants. Okay, I think I get the picture. Ron gets suspicious of Garthe. Whatever he found out or overheard went into a tape recorder, and the tapes he hid in a locker right before he disappeared. I know it's not much to go on, but it's all I've got. Michael, something's happened to him and Garthe's behind it, I know it. All right, I'll see what I can do. The key... Pardon? You said you'd found the key to the locker. Do you know what "antithesis" means? "Antithesis"? I think it was on last month's Power Vocabulary Builder. I'm serious. You're the antithesis of him. I have never seen 2 people who look so much alike, who are so different inside. Be careful. And so one night in Innsbruck, before the entire Norwegian ski team, he proposed a toast. Devon? Are you all right? You are a stubborn one. Now we shall begin. I have the formula. Good. One card. This better not be another 10. Ten. Thank you, michael. That makes 21. I'm telling you, it's beginner's luck. That's what you said yesterday. I'm no longer a beginner. In addition to which, it's not luck. The odds in blackjack are 0.6 percent in favor of the house. However, if one applies- KITT, I wish your computers had less on odds and more on the key Rita gave me. A key from blank stock is extremely difficult to trace, michael. april's calling. Hello, April. michael, you've got to come back right away. Why, what's wrong? It's Devon. He went out with an old friend last night, and... And what? What an interesting palm you've got, Christine. Can you read palms? A bit. This line here, for instance, means lots of love but not every love is a happy love. So? Tell me. I don't know enough about it. I might frighten you. Why? is it scary...or dangerous? I see more loves in your present life than just me. There's someone else... Tell me I don't mind. Yes. I see a young man. He's beautiful. Yes. He lives in... I see letters. K, and O with dots on top... is that German? Yes, Köln, or Cologne is where he lives. You're really good at it. If you want me to go on, I need something tangible of his. Something tangible? - A key or a lock of hair or... - A letter. - Could work. You got one? - l'll get it. - Here. - No, I don't want to read it. Or you'll think it's all a trick. Then I'll hold it. What do you see? I sense something else. A picture? His? He's not wearing much. He's not into the sex industry, I hope? No. I see him on the beach waves and... What's up? What did you see? I drifted off, I think. His name was there, letters. H and E, HENK... HERBERT... HERMAN Herman! Gee, I didn't know you were so good at it. Look... ls that him? Well now... You're going to tell me all about this Herman. I've known Herman for years. From when I first met Johan. Johan? Who's this Johan? - My dead husband I told you about. - Oh, yes. Herman wanted me, but I married Johan. That's life. Sure. But tell me about this Herman? I'd rather not. Why not? is it problematic? Come on, Christine, we're both adults. Herman is so...savage. He doesn't beat you? No, in bed I mean. What does he do? He just pounds away. And he comes at once. No wonder, that boy is crazy about you. Yes, but there's nothing in it for me. Zilch! Doesn't he repeat the exercise? Falls right asleep. Tough. Perhaps I can help you. How? I'm psychic as you've noticed. Get that boy down here. I'll apply my gifts to see why he comes so quickly. - l could possibly cure him. - That would be wonderful. - Oh, but he's in Germany. - l'll go and get him...tomorrow. Tomorrow? Good girl! Up and at it! You're lying on something sharp, look! Didn't you feel it? No, there's a numb spot on my back. Strange... Clean sheets? is that necessary? Herman will see you've slept with me. - ls he jealous? - You better believe it. - And where'll I sleep from now on? - l'll show you. He's staying all next week. It'll give me lots of time for the treatment. What'll you say about me? That you're a writer in need of some peace. He knows I'm a member of the Literature Club. Isn't it a bit perverse, Christine taking in two lovers at once? Perverse? You're going to help me with Herman? You care about as much for Herman as for me: not at all. A great deal. Take the keys, so you can come and go as you like. We'll be back late. Bye... Give Herman my regards. I will, and you start your novel! Drive carefully! Chapter One When I arrived at V. yesterday... Damn... I'm wearing your shirt, Johan! Home movies? Johan. Henk. Gé? Snip, snip, snip... Do you take Christine to be your lawful wedded wife? What is your reply? I do! I do! All gone! That's all... the next one! Gé! That's for Gerrit of course! A real clodhopper's name. Damn it! Christine, my girl... She's had... She's been married twice! She's been fucking married twice! Why didn't you tell me? What a god awful movie... I don't like nature films... Gé... I've had Gé... I'll try Henk. Hello Henky! I'm the first talking goldfish. Another one! Another wedding? She didn't tell me! Why didn't you tell me? Three times why didn't you tell me? Married three times... What a mess! I'd prefer porn! I'm in there too... Tiddle-dee, tiddle-door, who is number four? Christine, darling... What's this? What are you doing here? Sorry, I thought you were Christine. The back's the same. How do you know what Christine looks like in the nude? Because we went swimming and I was in my bikini. This is Gerard, the writer I told you about. He's here to work. Well... Working with the whiskey bottle, by the smell of it. Let's go to bed, I'm dead-tired. Tomorrow morning...! Look at it this way... ln Germany they're in need of plumbers too. So I set me up a business with Dutoh labor. Pour me some more. And I got 5 chaps there now, all working black and drawing welfare in Holland besides. A lot of sugar, baby. And they give me no trouble, 'cause if they did I would report them to Labor Inspection. Those ham and eggs are just the thing especially after last night. Really, Herman. I mean the long drive. Don't be shy, Gerard's a writer. - He's used to a thing or two. - Stop it. Damn, it's empty. I'll get a frosh pack. The world of Peter Stuyvesant so much more to enjoy. What do you think of him? He's really got something. How was it last night? - Zilch. - Zilch? We hadn't met in weeks... and oopla! He came and zonk! Fell asleep. Tough... You'll find out what's wrong, won't you? - You said you could. - Sure, my love. And you've always got me, in case of need. Or did you want us both? No, I'm not like that. Not the one and the other. - lt's more either/or. - Either/or? What are you two either/or-ing? Gerard asked me about my morning, and I have to work. It's either working, or neglecting the salon. Working? Today? I've taken the whole damned week off for you! It's just this morning, sweetheart. Monday mornings I have to see my salesmen. I'll be froe this afternoon. That's great! I'll be bored to tears meanwhile. - Do something with Gerard. - He's here to work too! So I don't work this morning. Yes... show him around. Or talk to him. Perhaps he'll write about us. Then we'll be in a book. What's the use of being in a book? You know what? Take the car. I don't need it anyway. Shall we? I have to get to the meeting. Leave the dishes, I'll have Adrienne clean up. - They're here, Madam. - Ah, gentlemen! I've seen you before. At Amsterdam Central. That's possible. Or someone else. - l have an ordinary face. - lt was you. I don't forget a bod like you. So we're going to tour around? Whatever you like. You wanted to, didn't you? For your work. I don't have to tour for my work. No. I wanted to have a chat with you. A long chat. - Privately. - With me? There's nothing I can tell you. I'm just an ordinary boy. I always write about ordinary people. As I said on TV, the ordinary man is my central theme. All of him. Above and below the belt. Yes... you've been on TV, haven't you? And on the radio and in the papers, sure. - ls it true what they write? - What? - All the goings on in the studios? - What do you mean? About everyone screwing everyone. What you read in the tabloids. It's even worse. - l could tell you stories. - Tell me. There's one bigwig when he throws a party the neighbors secure their kids behind locks this big. Kids six or seven years of age. Girls, but boys too. What do you think of that little boys? - Hello sir. Hi, Herman. - Adrienne... Madam told me to clean up. Won't you join us? Funny bunny. Tell me more, Gerard. Later in the car. - Coming? - Good morning. - What the hell are you doing? - For later! You with a famous writer! Who cares... Bye! Now tell me, do these TV people go at it all the time? They slow down in their 80's. Can't we flnd a quiet place in the dunes? I'm a nature lover. Ah, I like touring. And are those showgirls an easy lay, too? - You revel in such things, don't you? - l love sex. Sure, but do you ever do anything about it? I lay them by the dozen if need be. Don't you? What do you think I did with Chrissy last night? But Christine has often walked down the aisle. Never had any luck. Take me to the studios some time. Stupid bitoh! Wait... stop! Stop! You got something going with her? ! I saw that woman in a dream! Ma'am! Nothing, I guess. Probably screwing on some tombstone. I read about them: cemetery whores. - Damn weather! - There! We'll get soaked. - That one's open! - ln that tomb? ! Dead men don't bite, only live ones do. Do you want to get hit? It wouldn't be the first time. - But you won't. - Won't I? No. Do you think I'll like it? I'm gonna try... Keep going, Gerard. I saw you at the station and your picture later on such a beautiful boy. I thought I've got to have him, even if it kills me. I like your spiel nobody's ever told me that before. Spieling is my profession. I kept lobbying with Christine... and hoping that you would come. I like you going for me, Gerard. I, dirty old man. loving HUSBANDS OF christine HALSLAG - My God! - Hey, what's up? Three dead! Look at those urns! I'll be damned! Chrissy's family grave. She had all three of them cremated. A fourth and they can play bridge. - Did you know they were dead? - Of course. The whole town knows, and even pities her. Pities her? She let them die, and I know how! - Oh, come off it! - She had one crash with a parachute. She fed one to the lions and sank the other at sea. Bet she didn't tell you! Bullshit! One of them had to show off in the Safari Park the second one's parachute didn't open and the third... And who'll be the fourth? ! - Get your hands off me! - You or me! Get that? ! One of us! I don't get it. I'm stupid to get it Mr. Writer, sir. I say be an ordinary plumber, but you, you're a raving lunatic! That woman is deadly! Three husbands, three dead bodies! One of us will be the fourth, can't you see that? Deadly? You just want to scare me so I'll split! So you'll have Chrissy for yourself and all her money! Forget it! You can't rattle this boy, this boy's staying with Chrissy! - You stay and you're dead! - Bullshit! One of us will croak! Scram! Fine! I'll read the headlines about your death! Raving lunatic! - Get in! - No! I'm leaving for Amsterdam! Get in and I'll take you to the station. Just don't take me anywhere near that woman. Okay. She's mine then. - Can't you pass them? - Grouch! You're driving beside your own funeral, Herman. Watoh out! First him, doctor, first look at him. Cover him, Ria. Mr. de Vries... you're a doctor. Mr. Reve! Calm down. What a shame we have to meet here. Tension gauge. Life takes strange turns. I didn't know you were a doctor. That's why matters of life and death interest me. Bloem! Thinking of death I cannot sleep, remember? How is he? How's Herman? - He's in very bad shape. - Dead? Yes. A friend of yours? A relative? The fourth man! I told him but he wouldn't believe me. Doctor, the liver. Now Herman can go into a vase too, he can... - Enlarged but intact. - Normal reflexes. - She's done it again. - You've had a lucky escape. But she's done it again the fourth man. She takes him like a spider a spider also fucks her mate and then devours him... dead! Quite a shock for you. Keep on talking, it'll settle you down. She's a spider, a witoh. She leads men to ruin. She seduced me with Herman's picture. Who are you talking about? About Christine, doctor. Christine Halslag. She's a witoh. Everything checks. She even has a numb spot on her back like the witohes in the middle ages. It all connects. Keep on talking... about witohes. She killed them all! Don't scoff at the poor girl's misfortunes. I've known her for years. Those were tragic accidents. Especially for her. But these things happen! Four accidents in a row is damn strange! Use your head! One plus one is still two! Alright. Then let me tell you how a physician sees you. You turn a dead tourist into a giant with 30 grieving dwarfs. You're a compulsive liar. You lie the truth! I heard you say so! I diagnose an enlarged liver due to mild alcoholism and you're in shock. Otherwise you're as healthy as a horse! No! She fucks you and finishes you off! Okay, I'll go along with you. He slept with her, you slept with her. He is dead. Why are you still alive? - Because Mary helped me. - Mary? Mary who? Mary, the Mother of God. She, in person she helped me. The woman in blue. Mary helped you. It all checks, it does. She was on the train, with the blood on that picture. She wanted to warn me. And later in the Beauty Salon she was lying beside me. "When you're warned, you must listen..." And she was at the cemetery this morning. Mary is with me. Mary is among us. Mary is among us... in Vlissingen? I'm a Catholic myself, Mr. Reve. I've got six kids and my third name is Maria but that Mary would be among us in Vlissingen to help you against Christine, beauty specialist and witoh! Lie down! There she is! The Godforsaken witoh! Godforsaken witoh! I'll kill you! Nurse! Injection! 10cc! Mary... Easy, it'll be alright. Easy... This one to the morgue, the other to neurology for now, Ria. And your prognosis, doctor? No alcohol, then prolonged psychiatric treatment. I'll take him some time to collect his wits. - Unless Mary helps him, of course. - Of course. Rotten for you, Christine. I got the fright of my life. Did you see him come after me? Writers can do fine things but when they crack up, they're a menace. Here, dry your tears. An emergency. Sit down here, I'll phone you a cab. I'll come back and tell you what Gerard said about you. - Feeling sad? - Yes. Where do you live? Let me take you home, I'm going that way. - No, they're getting me a cab. - That'll take ages. Come on. - You wind surf? Any good at it? - Yes, out at sea and in the harbor. - Among the big tankers. - lsn't that dangerous? It's child's play. Want me to teach you? No, it's not my sort of thing, but I'll come and film you some time. Oh, any time. 1938, when Sino-Japanese War was like a raging fire. And the countries were fighting each other, Atomic fission was first tested by German Scientists, which would lead to the world's destruction. If this was exploited by Hitler, The entire human race will be annihilated. Fortunately, this yet to be completed formula... was stolen by a Jewish Scientist, who intended to sell it to the Americans. Since the Jew's nanny taught him Mandarin, and to evade attention, the deal was carried out in H.K. They cold named the formula the "Beast". On knowing this, Hitler sent 2 Gastapos to H.K. To catch the "Beast". Nothing can stop the world from rotating. But there are always exceptions. You're always so fast, only takes you less than a minute. That's simple enough, even a dog can do it. Someone's at the door! - Who's turn? - Yours, of course! Give me a hand! Hold on! - O.K? - O.K.! Hello, this is Yoyo Private Eye's, I'm Super... No... I'm the Great Super Yoyo? What? Your No.8 concubine has walked out on you? Such a simple case, why bother me? Wait till all 8 of them walk out on you! What? The Mayor inviting me to dinner? Haven't got time! I wouldn't be Yoyo if I can be so easily invited. Old man, what can I do for you? I've come to connect the telephone. Oh yes, you haven't paid the bill for 6 mouths. I spent all my savings yesterday to pay for it. Smart girl. Here comes business! Why no sound? Hello, this is super detective Yoyo. Listen: I am woman! You can go now. Me? I've only just come in! Get off...this is you day off! Day off? Why? Today is your special no paid leave fixed by me, bye! I am woman too! Woman, is this yours or hers? I just don't understand why he calls himself a woman! Let's start all over again! - l am woman! - l am woman too! 18 years old girl, like a rose. Boy at 18, nothing to boast, Woman at 40, beauty most, Man at 40, what a ghost! Woman at 80 sparkles and glows. Man at 80, coffin soon to close! What's your rank? Supermac 99! And yours? Supermac 98. Salute! I don't like these ranks, too female chauvinistic! Neither do I, but it's an order from above. Listen: now you're given a glorious task to do. What task? Come to Wu Yen Road, You'll see a black car 9413. On Friday thirteenth? Just get into the car and I'll tell you what to do. Remember: better come early than late, late than never. Right way! Not now, tonight! Tonight? Then what shall I do now? I even sent my secretary away! Find something to do to kill time. I haven't taken my milk yet. Nuisance really! Taxi...! Shut up! What the hell are you yelling about? Damn you! Shit! You think this is a night market, shut up! Get lost, or I'll call the police. Damn you! - Hi, Hitler! - Hurry up, go! Go to the front! Don't turn around! There's match inside the drawer. Listen, a Jew has taken a "Beast" to H.K. from Europe. To be handed to an American. Your task is to help him find the American. What does he look like? The Jew will tell you. Don't turn around, I told you. What if I do? You wanna bite me? Of course I won't bite you, but if you don't leave in 5 minutes, you're done! Because the car's going to explode. You think I'm a fool? Can't I get out in 5 minutes? Oh no, not 5 minutes, but 5 seconds! 5 seconds? Counting now...! 5, 4... - Can't you slow down? - 3, 2, 1...! Damn it! Still 2 more customers? won't scratch the backs of foreign devils, get lost! I wouldn't do it for more money, damn it! Damn it again! It's dangerous! Gosh, I forgot to ask where the Jew is! You're Yoyo? Yes, this is he! Prove yourself. My father said so. How did he know? My mother said so. Alright, I believe your mother. Thanks. Who are you? - Helle's my last name. - Hello! - Not Hello! - Not Hello My name's Walter! What the hell? (Walter Hello). You are wrong. I'm the Jew you're looking for! Come right away to Hotel Hong Kong. Yes. Better early than late, late than never. No, I want you now. How can I recognize you? Just shout Fat Pig, that'll do. Bye-bye! Fat Pig? Hi Fat Pig, long time no see, you're keeping well! You're making a lot of money! Let me down, Fat Pig! How dare you call me Fat Pig? Only my mom calls me this! His mom! - Even my aunt! - His aunt! - My nanny! - His nanny! - Nor my godmother can call me this name! - Not even his godmother! - l'm now the Commissioner of Police! - The Commissioner! - Not Fat Pig! - Fat Pig! - Beat him up! - Yes sir! See who dares call me Fat Pig in future! Fat Pig! - Get him! - Yes sir! Oh, it's you who made this sound? Don't look at me, look at the glass. Yes, a spy needs to be very secretive! So you're Fat Pig? No, but I know a Fat Pig is eyeing my 'Beast'. So I got you to uncover him, and I found out. So you've set me up! I told you not to look at me, look at the glass! What if there's no glass? Then look at the ash-tray. - What if I look at the vase? - lf you like! Where's the 'Beast'? - ln my head. - What? The 'Beast' is the formula for an atomic bomb, Meant to have a deal with the American, but got chased about. So I got you to help me close this big job. Oh yes, big job! Can you see it? Very clearly. - Does it look good? - Looks great! You're still looking at the good view? Not any more, only at the menu! Lucky you! Why? That's what happened to me, stared at the good view too long. Let's get back to the 'Beast'! How will I benefit if I succeed? You'll become a nameless hero. I said how will I benefit? The League of Nations will thank you! What benefit is that to me? The whole world will love you! That means I don't benefit at all! More than that. There's half a million! - Japanese Yen? - American dollar! American dollar? Where do I find the American? Cafe Casablanca. Take him to Room 44 here. What does he look like? Wearing a white suit and a pink rose. When you see him, just say: You want woman? Worth's half a million. And he'll reply, 'Get some sort of toys'! Good. I'll go first! - Hold on, I'll go first! - Why? So that I don't have to pay. Tips? Book says don't give anything today, especially tips. What a miser! White suit and pink rose? What a coincidence! Mister, you want woman? Worth's half a million! is she inlaid with diamonds? Ridiculous! Thank you... Hello Sam, how are you? I'm Joe! Why so many foreigners in white suit here tonight? A Yank's grandma get married the 8th time to an officer. They are holding a party to celebrate! You still remember this song? Of course I remember, you cruise chick with this song. Play it again, Sam! You want a woman? What? You dirty pimp, leave my husband alone! The soup's tasteless, add some soya sauce! What? Add some soya sauce! Did you say 'Get some sort of toys'? Did you...? - Must be you, I'm damn sure! - American. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Sandra! You want woman? He wants to kill me! Get some sort of toys! Help yourself! I'm American! American! He run away! Hi, Hitler! - Hotel Hong Kong! - Yes sir, right away! Back so soon, you're not dumb this time! What? What happened? Take it out! What are you doing? Fat Pat? - Take him to toilet and get the 'Beast'! - Yes Sir! Don't do that, I'm against violence! I'm against violence...! Boss, I can't find it! I don't believe! Did he hide it there? Not here...! To hell with you...! Fat Pig! - Boss, he calls you Fat Pig! - You want us to beat him up? No need! I'll help him to this drink, and he'll curse no more. There's no poison! I don't want to take... Here you are, $1.00 please! What the hell do you want? Want some water? Alright? Feeling better? It's poison! Damn it! Couldn't find the American and the Jew's dead. And my half a million dollars too, oh hell! Fat Pig swallowed my 'Beast'! Fat Pig again? Why would the Emperor find this so important? I'd better cable Tokyo tomorrow. And have somebody come pick this up. Usually the safest place is the most dangerous. And the most dangerous place, the safest! Who's that? Did you see someone go past? Who was it? - Where is her? - Chase... I've forgotten you're dumb! Use your imagination...! Charade? Great! 3 words! The first word...! An old woman? A bitch? Gallstone? Boobs? No boobs? A woman? Can't be that simple. Since you're so smart, clean up the toilet tomorrow then. The second word...! A stripteaser? A female hen? Get off. You thief! A woman thief? This house will be put under strict security. Get Inspector Robin to protect me tomorrow. Yes Sir! Darling, go buy me an ice-cream! I want you to apologize to this lady. None of your business, I like it when he hits me! I still want you to apologize to this bitch. I know you'd be checking the view here. I've got a great scheme for us. Hang on. I want his apology. Just say 'sorry', out of pity for him. I never have to say sorry! That's true! Come on, let's go...! No way. He has to apologize! He's lnspector Robin! Inspector Robin. Oh, I'm sorry! Don't bother with me. Apologize to the bitch. Sure thing. Sorry, bitch! I beg your pardon? Let's go! Who the hell's lnspector Robin? Great... Shame on you... What do you want from me? This scheme will benefit the human race, lt will benefit the entire world. But how will it benefit me? You can be the greatest unknown hero, But how will it benefit me? The League of Nations will thank you! What I said was, how will I benefit? The entire human race will be grateful! That means I won't benefit at all. Oh, there's US$500,000 too! US$500,000? We'll share it fifty-fifty. For the human race, for the world, I will help you. Come what may! What do I have to do? You have to steal a Formula. Where from? From Fat Pig's house! What? You want me to steal from my boss! You want me to lose my job? I'll get my provident fund in 20 years' time! Do you want that in 20 days, you will be enjoying California's sunshine. Inspector! What is it? The Commissioner and his family will be going out tomorrow. He wants you to tighten up security. No problem. Tell him to go in peace. I will take charge personally. I'll stand guard tonight. You come as the burglar. Then we'll be able to get it. Over here, get in. Hurry! Yoyo looks great. Beginning to take after me! Robin, can I go in now? - Who're you? - Yoyo! That's right. You are Yoyo! Then what was that... Watch me catch the burglar! What a fool! Sure got a lot of mirrors here! I look good in this outfit. How come I've got...? Thief! Remember, you're a burglar too! That's true! Let's split to make a search! - Better get my gear first. - Hurry! Catch it! That's it! Go tiptoe! Gotcha! Don't try and get away! You're on top of me! Not my face! That's how I make my living. My foot. lt's broken! Get off! Gotcha at last! Bring a rope, hurry up. How can I? You're on top of me. Don't run! Taking advantage of me. Safer to go down on the stairs! Where're you off to? To catch the burglar. You look in the safe. Don't run! You think only you know Chinese Kung Fu? Bet you're out of breath after the chase. Do you know who I am? Don't bother asking. I'll tell you. When I was a kid, they called me Super Kid Robin! Now they call me Super Sleuth Robin! Also known as Super Shot Robin! You quite finished, Super Silly Sop? Are you ready to shoot? You want to see me shoot? Don't blink! You've set 2 records in my books: the slowest draw. And the shortest time I've disarmed anybody. You've got a surprise coming! Freeze! You got anything else to say? - Sure! - Go right ahead! You haven't buttoned your pants. You made a fool of me! Confidential? You want to screw my head off? Ain't got much use anyway! Couldn't even fix a woman. Just wonder how you become an inspector. That's enough! You've already said that over 30 times today. Dinner is served! What family education! Grabbing the bigger piece. How were you taught? Always to take the smaller piece! You got what your mother told you to get! Couldn't find the Formula. But I found this. On April 14, 7:00 p.m., the Emperor's godson, Hiroshima Tora, The Emperor's godson! Will pick up the 'Beast' posing as Special Envoy from Chungking. You want to know what he looks like? Looks just like you! What a coincidence! You know what to do then? You want me to pose as him? Right! What if the real thing turns up? - He wouldn't. - How come? Tomorrow, we'll get on the train 1 station ahead... ls it the right person? Why don't you ask himself? Are you Hiroshima Tora? People with hearing aids are usually deaf. From my past experience, he doesn't look the part. Let's go to the other cabin. It's him! Kidoo, get a bigger hammer! We haven't worked so well together for ages. Who's he? - l don't know him! - Who are you? Hiroshima Tora of course! - Then who am I? - How do I know? - l'll beat you up! - Electric shock... I'll strangle you to death... This way! Don't slip up. lt's the real test! Have I ever failed you? Salute! Never mind! Good evening, your Excellency! Commissioner! Who's the giant who picked me up? Such manners! Robin, greet his Excellency properly! Good evening, your Excellency! And where's the bow? Robin! Good evening, Your Excellency! Inspector Robin is in charge of security tonight. Good boy! Sir! - lt's a nice place here. - Thanks. But small though. Commissioner, phone call! Why didn't you call me away for it. What? Bullshit! Who was it? - The Mayor! - What did he want? Wanted to know why he wasn't invited tonight. What did you say? You heard me, bullshit! Get me...the phone! What are you doing? Don't you do that to me again! Why not? I have full command here? That's true! - Why is he here? - Who? Have we met before! I'd recognize your ashes, you're... You! You! We've met in Japan! I've never been abroad! In Chungking, that's it! Who am I now? The Special Envoy from Chungking! Smart guy! You got something in your eye? Allow me. She's the Commissioner's daughter. Friends call me "Dumplings"! - Doesn't look it! - You really don't quite look it! I love men with moustaches. We make quite a pair! is it really she? I see the light! It's really attractive to me. Robin, are you alright? I'm perfectly alright...! - ls that really you? - Of course it's me! Remember when you left me 3 years ago. No sleep at night, no waking up in the morning. Couldn't eat at meals. Why were you so cruel? There are even crueler things! Your Excellency, may I present my fiancee! You son of a bitch... Your Excellency! You alright...! Stop it, I'm fine now! Do you know one another? Know her? Never! There's little left of whom I knew! The one I knew is dead. My soul was betrayed 3 years ago. And 3 years later, her own soul is being betrayed! What's left is just a walking corpse. For the world to laugh at! What wonderful lines! If Yeats could have heard you just now. He would have saluted you indeed! Fantastic...! Thank you...! Someone's fainted again! Couldn't take your speech! Get away. Give me, what I need now is this. I'll go to the ladies! She recovered even before putting it on! Must be very potent? Darling! Wait for me here! Don't go away. I'll go put some on. Save some for me! The Formula is in the smallest tooth-brush. Burglar...! Stop drinking. You'll get drunk! I've been sober these last 3 years. Useless! Has he ever been sober? You again? Don't stand there. I'd never ask you to dance. I feel like dancing with someone handsome! Me? Sam, the record's stuck! Watch it, don't get fresh! It's you who's getting fresh. Damn you! - l feel dizzy! - Me too! How much does Fat Pig pay you? Such awful taste! I had worse taste 3 years ago! Fat Pig is a traitor. You'd marry a traitor? Better than you posing as a Japanese! Damn Robin, I quit. Gosh... Something terribly important is missing. What did you lose? I lost a toothbrush! I'm not kidding. it's an heirloom. Passed on through the generations. For good fortune. lt's very important. I'm afraid I'll have to search you all. Right, stealing right under the Commissioner. And Inspector Robin's nose. It's really too much! I agree to a search, I'll go first. Yes, I approve of a search! No need for you. Dumplings, you do it! Oh yes please, come! Not him. I meant her. - Inspector Robin! - Sir! You're responsible for security tonight. If you don't find the toothbrush, I'll have your head! Yes. - Fools! - Yes sir! Get away. Salute! - Body search! - Yes sir! Hurry up! If we can't find it, I'm done. I have high blood pressure, I can't take this. Shame on you! Inspector! No toothbrush. But we found 2 pineapples. Where from? From them! Help me get rid of them, quick! - Get rid of them, sure! - Yes. I meant the pineapples! Inspector! Inspector Robin! I've been waiting for you! For me? What for? - To be friends with you! - Friends? Do you mind if I sit on your bed? Not at all. You can do anything you like on my bed. Make yourself at home, feel free! I'm a very easy-going person! - Inspector Robin! - Just call me Robin! Robin, I want to...! What do you want to do with me? I want to chat with you! O.K. let's talk while we're still sober. Robin, I...! Control yourself, Bridget! - Can I have a drink! - A drink? With her drinking, how am I going to control myself? I'll get you one right away! Wonderful! She'll sure get drunk! is this my heart beat or yours? Or are our hearts beating as one? Someone's knocking at the door! Never mind him! Answer the door! How can I leave you alone? Go and answer the door first! OK, stay where you are and reserve a place for me. Collecting garbage removal fee! This is the fee for 3 months. Don't you ever bother me again. But you haven't paid for 6 months. Can't you just take this first? Nobody's going to disturb us now. You take a shower first! Good idea. Get all clean first! I'm taking my shower. Bridget, I'll be real quick. I mean I'll be quick at taking my shower! Sure! Gosh, how can I say such silly things? Bridget! Robin darling, I have to go. See you soon. Love, B! Robin darling! She called me 'Robin darling'! Oh dear, so intimate! Robin darling! Can't take this! "Guest..." Your Excellency, take a seat please! Where's the 'Beast'? You think I really hid it in the toothbrush? You hid it in the toothbrush? Yes, but I moved it after the burglar show up. Then why were you so agitated? I meant to set a trap to catch the burglar. But didn't succeed! I'll go to the bank tomorrow. And get it back for you from the safe! Go and have an early night! Plumbing system of the Police Station. This Formula is only a phoney one. I think you'd better find Yoyo first. Your Excellency, you knew I'd come. That's why you didn't lock the door, right? Yoyo! You still remember my name? Yoyo! You're the same Yoyo of 3 years ago. You shouldn't even talk about it. 3 years ago, poor Yoyo waited for someone at the station. Yoyo! He waited and waited... Yoyo! He didn't move an inch in case she came. Yoyo! He was starving... Yoyo! He has a fever and his stomach ached. Yoyo! Where was I just now? You were getting nowhere. Because I don't know what you're talking about. You still remember the good old days? "l remembered the love song she used to sing." "Even in my dreams I will always remember." "Her tender love warms my heart." "The good old days I will always remember." "Like a flower that bears fruit is our love." "l cannot live without you." "The calm water rippled as you left me!" "Our love will never be forgotten." You know how I suffered these 3 years? But I have my own difficulties. Difficulties? Why did you get engaged to Fat Pig? It's all because of you. Me? You shouldn't marry Fat Pig. You should marry me. Sooner or later, you'll know how much I love you. Love? Action speaks louder than words. Can you wait? Did you make it? If you didn't come, I would have made it. What? I meant the 'Beast'. Not so soon. How about tomorrow? Let me tell you something. No need, just drop me a line. Some chick is crazy about me. I'm irresistible! That's a good joke. Very funny indeed, good night! You are jealous. Guess, who's come to find me? The boss's fiancee B.? How dare you call her B., only I can. She calls me Robin darling too! Robin darling? Are you kidding? She's so sexy, she even tried to seduce me. Tore everything off to rush and take a shower... You mean her? Me of course! But she told me to do so. Do you get it? But it's very clear what she wanted to do. Why is she lying on your bed? I haven't done anything yet! How dare you steal my first girlfriend? I didn't. Don't deny it. This is the end of our friendship! Did you go and visit him? Yes I did! Did you tell him to take a shower? Yes. Did you lie on his bed? But I'm lying on your bed too. First you fool around with Fat Pig, Then this over-aged virgin, And now you come for me. You're worst than a bore. You mean a whore? Don't correct me. I hate people who correct me. - Yoyo! - Shut up. I don't want to see you again. Get lost right away! Hello, handsome! - Don't touch me! - Why not? Because I used to get 0 in my exams, So I'm allergic to anything that shape. So long! - Dumpling! - Stop that! You said you didn't like well-rounded people. You're different, you're unique. How unique? Because you're rounded in all the wrong places. I have something to discuss with his Excellency. Your Excellency, this is the 'Beast'! Sir! What's the matter? Someone called Hiroshima wants to see you. Hiroshima? - Bring him in. - Yes sir! I'm so famous, there's bound to be impostors. I want to see the Commissioner! Where's he? Where's he? He's a mad nutcase! Does he look like one? All mad nutcases say someone hit their head! Someone hit my head! The Commissioner, where is he? Say something or he'll get mad. I'm the commissioner. I'm Hiroshima Tora from Japan. Ali Baba Toyota wadashiwa Yamaha! Abracadabra toro sahimi tempura sayonara! He can't even understand my Japanese. What? - O sake teppanyaki yamato desu ka. - What? What's the name of Hiroshima Tora's father? He doesn't even know his pa's name, - he's not Hiroshima! - l am! - How dare you pose as Hiroshima? - You...! I have the Emperor's appointment letter. Don't try to fool us with a bit of paper! Emperor's letter...! Come on, take him out! Take him out! I'm Hiroshima Tora! Let me go...! Hurry up! He looks like a drug-addict. He probably did this to get some money! Yes, but he really does look like you. If you were not here, I would have been fooled. Yes, this is the Commissioner! He's not the real Mr. Hiroshima! - You mean him? - We were just tipped-off. is that so? - lt's came from a reliable source. - ls that so? Sir, do we need to take action? Wait till I come back. Your Excellency! I'll be right back, don't go away! You must stay for my wedding party. Notify all the guards, without my orders, No one is permitted to leave the house. Yes Sir! Excepting myself, of course. Yoyo, you're done! Did you say something? Ridiculous, you're dumb. Dangerous situations can do miracles. Who are you? I am woman! You must be crazy, you're a man, how come...? Listen: I am woman! I am woman too. 18 year old girl, like a rose. Boy at 18, nothing to boast; Woman at 40, beauty most, Man at 40, what a ghost. Woman at 80, sparkles and glows! Man at 80, coffin soon to close. What's your rank? Supermac 99, and yours? Supermac 98! You've been found out. You're done! What shall I do? Only the Commissioner's fiancee, who can save you. But I don't want to see her again. This is an order. Go immediately! Why are you here? You remember what you said to me yesterday? I don't remember. But I do. I remember it too well. You said you'll never see me again. I was just joking. I don't mean what I say. But you said you love me, do you mean it? Of course I do. I need you help. My help? To go after some girl? Can't you even get Dumplings on your own? All I want is to get the 'Beast'. But Hiroshima has escaped and identified me. I was told that only you can help me out. Bridget! 3 years ago, my heart was broken by you. After 3 years, my body and soul are in your hands again. You can do whatever you like. May your body rot and your soul burn in hellfire! Doesn't matter, I'll die anyway. But this is the best way to go. I'll die for my country and all mankind. What a hero! Pity no one knows about this. You know, I know, God knows and the Devil knows. The man downstairs knows too! Unlike you, everybody knows you're a real whore! You think you're the greatest hero on Earth? I am woman too! I know you are woman, a bad woman too! I said I am woman! You're not just bad, but wicked too! Listen: I am woman. You...! What did you say? I am woman, answer me! I am woman too! 18 years old girl, like a rose. Boy at 18, nothing to boast; Woman at 40, beauty most, Man at 40, what a ghost. Woman at 80, sparkles and glows, Man at 80, coffin soon to close. What's your rank? Supermac 99, and yours? Supermac 1! I'm so small and you're so great! Get him... I've to get him today! Hurry up! Damn, they're back! Hurry up! Climb out through that window. Hurry up, run! This way...! Hurry...pull me up! Hurry...! My dear! Sex-maniac! Don't let others see you! Who assaulted you? His Excellency? Where is he now? He even found my secret tunnel! Go...! Sir...! I forgot to press the button! Follow me. Hurry up...! Get him... "l am woman!" Hello, Inspector Robin! - ls it you, Bridget? - You still remember me? Of course. You've broken my heart, good night! Don't hang up. You know you're in trouble? Me in trouble? You must be kidding. I'm perfectly alright. Listen: Fat Pig knows all about your plan. And he's coming to get you! That means I'm really in trouble! Get away from there immediately! - Where to? - Go into hiding with a friend! As an inspector has no friends but lots of enemies. Then go to No.1 Hua Shi Street right away. Where is it? Don't worry, I'll get someone to contact you. Our password is "l am woman"! If someone says 'l am woman,' that means 'He's a friend.' Hurry up, let's go! Scram or you'll run out of time! Open the door... I've already run out of time! Inspector, why are you still here? You're...? I am woman! We are women too! Other policemen are coming. They're not women. Inspector, run! Dear sisters, so long for now! Go after him...! So many people! Go after him...! Uncle, I am woman! Sure, in about 10 years! - What did you say? - l am woman! I am woman too! - Get in quick! - Okay! Where's it? Search around! Hurry up...this way...! Just follow it! Follow it? Yes, it is a friend! "l am woman!" - You're right. lt's one of us. Bye. - Bye-bye! What happened to the dog? "Hua Shi Street" This is Number One. A man! Don't panic, I am woman! No. 38! Are you woman? Please let me go, I am woman! What? You are woman? What's the matter? I don't know. Someone told me to come here to avoid! Sorry, we only help deliver. And we're all urgent cases. Go away, woman! Who's here to avoid it? Step this way! Aren't you...? I have the safest way for you to avoid it! If I knew it could be avoided, I'd do it too. It's already my 8th child! Better late than never, why not start now! Please come with me! What a bunch of fools! You couldn't even get those 2 jerks. How can you be the Commissioner of Police? How can you be the Sick Man of Asia? Your Excellency, cool down! I know the place of exchange: Cafe Casablanca. - You recognize me? - No! Really? I don't know your kind of person! Lucky me! I'm not in a good mood, just get lost! You think you can get away by not looking at me. You can tell from my voice I'm the Commissioner, scram! Upstart. Nearly wouldn't give up his place! Has Yoyo been today? Damn... Canton was defeated! "Long live China and our great national heroes." "Long live China and our dauntless armies." "Brothers never give in!" "Yet yourselves ready, brothers, to fight on the front line!" "The national heroes are our good examples!" "Long live China...!" "Long live China...!" Yoyo! Get him! Freeze...! Don't move, I'm the Commissioner! - He's not! - He's the wanted person! - l'm not! - You're just nobodies! - So don't do anything silly! - Whistle! Yes sir! Don't move! One dark and windy night. A female vampire was in search of a virgin boy's blood. Tonight she found her victim, So she walked slowly to the door. I'm not a virgin! You scared me! Robin darling, I need you! What? I need you! Me...too! - l need you now! - Now? You mean right here? But the bed's a little small! If you don't go to rescue Yoyo, he's done! Rescue Yoyo? I wouldn't do that! He's my arch enemy... in affairs of the heart! Alright! I promise you! I won't be with him after you've rescued him! Really? Yes, I really mean it. Will you come with me then? Sure I will, wherever you go! Yoyo's locked up there. - So high above! - Let's go! - Over there! - OK! From here! I go first! Come up. Hurry! Hurry up! Old friend! I feel good now! - Commissioner! - Yes sir! Did he tell you where the 'Beast' is? Ask him! Yoyo, tell us. I won't! I'll let you go if you tell us where it is, or else... You'll get Amelian! (A million) ln that case, I won't say anything! - What? Bring him Amelian! - Yes Sir! Got a big shadow though! She's the biggest woman in Japan. Here's name's Amelian. - Amelian! - Yes Sir! Beat him up! Don't pull me! Stay away from me... I've got B.O.! I'm getting dizzy. Please let me go! Let me down! What a B.O.! You still want Amelian? No...! I wouldn't dare...! Give me the money! Some more, don't you try to fool me! Where's the 'Beast'? I won't tell you. Amelian has been again! I can't hear your death bells ringing! You wouldn't tell the lady, I'll get you a man! Hiroshima! Why is it taking so long? Have you got it yet? In a second! Soon! It is hot! It's time! Let me do the introductions, He's Mr. ABCD, he's good at playing deadly games. He's going to play Russian Roulette! There are 3 bullets in this Russian Roulette. Over there! Let's start the game! I'm done! Hiroshima, he's shot himself 3 times! Damn it, wake him up! He's dead. You're just as dead, Wake Yoyo! Follow me! Follow me! - l heard something. - Let me see if I hear it! What's the matter? What's the matter? What happened? - l asked you what happened? - Nothing...! But there are mechanical traps. I'll go first! Robin darling! You're terrific! You always know where they are! Sure. I know exactly where they are. So you go first, I'll protect you from the back. Are you alright? Sure I'm alright! I can hear something! Him again? No, he's Mr. ABCD's half brother, Mr. EFGH, Born 3 days after his brother. He doesn't shoot as well as him. But he plays Russian Roulette with 6 bullets. You first or him? Him first...! OK, his first! Ready, 3, 2, 1...! OK, I'll talk! Are you alright? Robin don't look for mechanical traps anymore. I'm not looking, but they always find me. Yoyo's over there! Where's the 'Beast'? In the speaker at Cafe Casablanca. You hear that? I told you he's a no good son of a bitch. - Who's there? - Get them! Freeze! Bridget! Everybody freeze! Break the chains, hurry up! You're a terrible shoot! I just didn't want to free you, traitor. What? You're...! I'm free, I'm free now! - Get her! - Yes Sir! Don't move! Over there! Run, hurry up! I'm the Emperor's Godson, I'll go first! Wait for me! Wait for me! Hiroshima, traitor. Don't run! Don't panic. There's only 1 bullet left. Block it with your finger, hurry up! How do you know you'll be alright if I fire? - l don't know. - l do. Don't worry! Some jerk tried it once. Then go ahead! It really works! E.T., how come...? Mr. Robin, there're no bullets left. Back to the Stone Age, I'll use... I'll beat you up, beat you up...! Beaten... Mr. Robin! I'll slay...! See you in Japan! Oh, I got it wrong! I'll slay...! I'm sorry! Follow it... Come back here...! All finished! Not for real! I'll kill you... Where's Mr. Hiroshima? Wake up! Don't fool around. You can't face the world? Why not? You think I'm a traitor like you! Traitor? Help me break his chain. What chains? These chains, of course. Gosh, it's broken already! Why didn't you tell me before? What a waste of time! I should have left you sleep away! Where's Hiroshima? B must have chased him into a secret passage! How do we get in? I always manage. Let me try! Open sesame...! I get it...! You can't get me! Hiroshima, don't run! Bi Boo...! Bridget! Bi Boo! Bi Boo! What does she mean by that? A mechanical chair! Open sesame...! That's out of fashion. Watch this. Bi Boo is the latest password! Watch me! Bi Boo! Bi Boo! What are you doing? Can't you speak clearly? You have to say each word clearly. Bi... Boo... Get out of there. Let me try. What? The chair's too small for 2. I sit on you then! Why don't you sit in the middle. Bi Boo...! I got it...! Bi Boo...! Here's a police car, get in! Hurry up! Sit tight, here we go! Casablanca. Here I come! I've got the 'Beast' finally! "The bright sun quickens the tempo of life." "The drum rolls like somersaulting peas." "How hilarious is the atmosphere!" "Everybody is so high-spirited!" "l am so overjoyed and excited," "Please stay behind and don't go away." "Let the begones by bygones." "Make hay while the sun shines." "Stay behind and don't go away!" "Till death do us part!" "But lt's only a fond dream for you have to leave." "Our love is just a mirage." "Stay behind and don't go away!" "Till death do us part!" "But lt's only a fond dream for you have to leave." "Our love is just a mirage." Bye-bye! Damn, Hiroshima escaped! Bye-bye! I'll go to Japan to stop him! No need, it's only a small matter. Small matter? You traitor! - What? - l beat you. Why did you hit me? Why not! The whole world's destroyed by you. You're the sinner of all mankind. - l'm sorry! - Why hit her? And me too? Why did you give the Formula to the Japanese? What are you laughing at? Don't worry, Hiroshima never got the real 'Beast'! Then where's the real one? The real one's right here! Well done, Yoyo! I can see the money already. We can go on a trip tomorrow! Shush...someone's about! Come out or I'll shoot! Come out quickly! Oh no, don't shoot! I hate violence! I'm here to tell you a secret! Put your pistol away! What secret? Get it out! Alright, but I have one condition! What condition? I want Yoyo to kiss me once. Supermac 99! I order you to kiss her. Lucky you, kiddo! In the name of our country, kiss her! Go on! - You have to close your eyes! - O.K.! Hey, wake up. lt's done! Japan cabled today. Hiroshima only has a phoney Formula. You have the real one! We all know that! That's why the other secret is even more important! What other secret? I'll tell, but I have to kiss Yoyo this time. What a pity! Serves you right! Alright, but you have to close your eyes again! Sure thing! My first kiss! Don't faint, wake up! Now, what's the secret? My father Fat Pig is coming with his troops to get you. So you better leave at once! Down there! Surround them! Don't move! Daddy, I got the Formula! You think my daughter would help you? Fools! You'll die in a woman's hands some day. You didn't kiss me. Yoyo, you've tricked me all along. Daddy, I want him dead! See! I told you! Your bad breath gave it away. Supermac 1, Yoyo, Robin. You're done. Say your prayers! Ready...! Have no fear, there are women about. More women? Ha! There are only men here. Where are the women? Sisters! It's time to get rid of the traitor. And prove your loyalty to the country, show yourselves! Have you forgotten I'm woman too? What? She's a woman? And I'm 100 percent woman! You're really dumb, I'm in front of you for so long. And you still don't know I am woman! That's right. She's Supermac 88. Salute her, 99! How come everybody's more senior to me? Dumplings, you're... Dad, where's your sense of history? Many heros place righteousness above family. I shouldn't have give birth to you! Tell them to drop their arms! Don't mind me. For the Emperor, get the 'Beast'! If all Chinese were like you. Where would we be today? How can we fight one another? When we're faced with a common enemy? If you can kill your own people, go right ahead. What's the matter? We want to become women! We could easily run out of men! Why don't you give me a chance to become woman too? Father! This story is getting too female chauvinistic! Can I have the Formula now? Get rid of them! I'll give this to the American for you. My mission is completed, I'll go wherever you go. Yoyo, you can't come with me! Why not? Because I've promised him. Him? I feel sorry for you too! Robin, thanks for coming to see me off! See you off? I feel very sorry for you too! Miss Bridget, it's time to board the plane! Hey Yank, don't go away! Hey Yank, what about the money? I want cash, no credit cards! I've paid her already! Yes! I've donated it in your names to the War Relief Fund. You're great! I thank you for the four hundred million people. See you after our country wins the war! - Allow me! - Thank you! It's all your fault, me posing as Hiroshima. Now we've got no money and no woman! Hey Yank! What is it? Remember to get Hiroshima for me! What? Don't forget to fix Hiroshima for me. OK! No money, no woman, that means we have nothing. I guess we're friends again! Sure we are! 6th August, 1945. The American finished Hiroshima. History was rewritten by Yoyo. HEARTY GREETINGS FROM THE GLOBE -Why are you yelling? -Me? But... Darling! -Did you throw a bottle from the window? ! -No, Mr. Vanyerka. -I wish! Stay covered, miss. For now. One, two. Rascals! Is it possible to get any privacy here? ! -Don't be cross with me, I don't know, what... Mr. Vanyerka? What happened, Mr. Vanyerka? Mr. Vanyerka? Oh, a bump! Come round, Mr. Vanyerka. Well, wake up! Yirinka, Wait! Yirinka! Now look. Was that necessary? Mr. Vanyerka? Where have they sent us? We're here. -They are people. -Beautiful. It's a nice sunny day, once again, good morning. We will open a window and take a deep breath. For the floor, actually for your arms, now calls another exercise, only for ambitious athletes, because these will be press-ups. So, a nice, straight push-up on your arms, legs backwards, we start by bending the arms down, but we are not laying on the belly doing this, we are stretching our arms nicely making a push-up And here we go. We loosen our arms And up and down and up and... Sir. Excuse me. Import, export. Let's go. Mr. Vanyerka? -Doctor Yansky? -Yes. What would you like? You're not going to invite us in? Of course. Please. You were chosen by the biggest computer in the galaxy to be the representative of the planet. Congratulations. We came to accumulate objective systematical information. About the conditions on Earth. This is a confidential mission. You understand? Calm down, please. Part of our project is to be inconspicuous. But if you really arrived from outer space, you would look completely different. Like what? For example like green elves or something like that. We don't like doing this. Every change of appearance exhausts us. Doesn't it? Then we must rest for a long time. Now do you believe us? Excuse me, but why me? Why only me? How can I be beneficial to you? There are other influential people, why don't you go to them? For example... -For example... -No need. Look, doctor, you are a completely ordinary, insignificant man. -Congratulations. -You don't lie. And this is exactly what we need. We need a background, a guide, who will help us understand matters on Earth. I must go to work. Pardon. What is "work"? Work... Work is the meaning of life. And what is the meaning of life? Meaning... I will explain it to you when I get back from work. -You mustn't snap. -And what is "snap"? Such big gaps in knowledge... Snap, is like... It is like... I have it! It was those from the eighth floor. When I catch them, I will really catch them! INSTITUTION FOR RELATIONS WITH EXTRATERRESTRIAL CIVILIZATIONS. Hey... Doctor! ARTIFICIAL FOOD RESEARCH Good morning, Jerry. Some things in people's homes ring continuously. And some don't. But also continuously. Martin? -I'd like to say something. -Yes. If it goes on like this, it will come to an end. -Yes. -I mean yesterday. Yes. Why did you let that idiot be with you? We could have had a nice evening. -Yes. -Who are you constantly calling? -Are you even listening to me? -No. I mean yes. You get this from the pills. Trying it on yourself! What do you have your guinea-pigs for? Some things in human homes are breakable. And some are unbreakable. What do people use it for? I don't know, people are strange. And hang up when I'm speaking with you! No, I can't stand it. When will this misery end? ! Some things can open normally. And some can't open at all. But they can. We must close the opening so that something else won't fly away. -Some things play. -And some things don't play. -Did you turn a knob? -Yes. All. It doesn't play. It's only hissing. Of course it doesn't play. There aren't any parts there. And now we welcome in the studio professor Janatka, to introduce the popular series "Mystical outer space". Dear audience, recently there have been many groundless reports about the existence of extra-terrestrial civilizations on our planet. From a scientifical point of view this is shear nonsense because... Hey, doctor! -Thank you. -You're welcome. -That was a great explosion, Doctor. -You gave us a real treat. Congratulations! At night some people are falling into a strange kind of unconsciousness. -Shall we try it too? -Well, since we are here... -Are you already unconscious? -Not yet. Mum, mummy, Not noodles! Please not noodles! Let's repeat after him. Mum, mummy, Not noodles! Please not noodles! Mum, mummy, Please not noodles! Not noodles. Not noodles. Not noodles. Not noodles. Noodles... no. -Not noodles. Why me? Why only me? Why only me? Why only... What is it? -A soft-boiled egg. -It has a great shape. A civilization that can produce such a perfect thing, - is a very advanced civilization. -This is not produced, -hens lay these. -Hens? -Yes. Tell them we congratulate them. Excuse me, but according to the program we have an opinion poll. Do you want help? You're not going to eat? No, don't worry. We have our own methods. Good afternoon. How would you react to a visit from extraterrestrial civilizations? I would kick them in the arse! Look, I'm not intrerested in politics. At work I'm doing my job, I adorn windows. I want my own peace. Good afternoon.How would you react to a visit from an extraterrestrial civilization? Pidlivization? How would you react to a visit from an extraterrestrial pidlivization? Civilization. It depends on where they came from. Good afternoon. Can we ask you a question? How would you react to a visit from extraterrestrial civilizations? We must have made a mistake somewhere. Look, just between us, -what do you think of them? -So I should give my opinion? No, don't worry. I'm telling you "just between us". I'm supposed to give my opinion between us? -I will not give it. -And why not? I will give my opinion, and you will broadcast it, and who will have problems? Me. Do I want problems? No. If you want problems then give your opinion. What, me? ! I'm only an ordinary substrate. Excuse me, how would you react to a visit from an extraterrestrial civilization? Now I don't know what I would say. I'm thinking about something else, I don't perceive you. Well, I don't know. Everyone whould be wondering and would be curious how it would work out. For sure they would be wondering too. It's an interesting question, but I don't know. That question has been put strangely. Depending on whether they have the antennae or they speak with a dictaphone. -Do they seem normal to you? -Normal? -Definitely not. -Really? -Normal? No. I would probably be a bit taken aback from it. I would probably go crazy if they were here. I haven't the time to respond to anything, I'm going to a meeting. That sublime expression... It's possible to see it when they are thinking. When I'm thinking, you can't see anything on me. Nothing at all. Really. But you are forgetting that we don't need to think. So we can continue. -Can I ask you a question? -Certainly. How would you react to a visit from an extraterrestrial civilization? How would I react... Calmly, the same as to any other visit. How fluid their walking is. Just look. We are not walking we are shambling. Yes, we are shambling. Calm down. They'll also be shambling. How would you react to a visit from an extraterrestrial civilization? I'm already too old for this. How would you react to a visit from an extraterrestrial civilization? Hard to say. Thank you. You're from television, aren't you? They have questions like this. I don't know how I would react, you know. Please don't put this on television. So that I don't blurt something. I would probably try to suggest that I'm peaceful. Good afternoon. Can we ask you one... -One? -I think we've already been here. Only one? ! Release me! We come in peace! From the galaxy! -I'll give you galaxy! -Release me! -No! You'll break my arm! -You won't make fun of me! -Rascals! -Let me go! -I'll break the door down with you! - Let me go! I'm not here for anyone's fun! I've just finished a night shift! -And they call themselves intelligent creatures! -Calm down. I'll tell you who they are. -Aggressive louts. -Calm down. I won't stay here a minute longer. -We are flying back. -And what about our mission? -What will we tell home? -The truth. They'll send someone more skilful here and we won't go anywhere else anymore. Don't be crazy. Why didn't you keep the finished answers? -Our methods are good for nothing. -So we must use their methods. It seems that if someone gives you one blow, -you have to strike back. -You think? -What are you doing? -Strike back. -At once? -You mustn't hesitate! If you think... -How was it? -Fine! Well, that's it! Hurray, we have it! -They haven't worked this out badly. Pick it up, the galaxy is waiting for our report. One moment, we'll just settle something here. So you see, an agreement is always possible. Hush! The planet is called Earth. It's inhabited by living creatures. Multi-legged, four-legged... and two-legged. The two-legged creature is called a human. He considers himself to be the highest form of life. He has gained control of energy... and invented a line of useful things. The lighter, The telephone, The toaster. -Soft-boiled eggs, the food dispenser. An automatic machine for amusement. Pop music. Guided missiles. Stress. -Tranquillizers, stimulants. -Myocardial infarction, reduction diet. Jogging. The escalator. And public transport. Together all these things are called "technical civilization". Technical civilization serves people so that they are happy and satisfied. Technical civilization functions by using buttons. Connection started. Pop into the supermarket at least for mineral water. Hey gentlemen, a trolley! Act inconspicuously. Observe. Watch how people are doing it. -Push, push! -Don't act crazy. -The bigger is carrying the smaller. -I told you, inconspicuously! -What a lot of things. -All of these can produce people. It's fantastic. We must take samples. We should have started here and not with the inquiry. "They spare your time". Do you know what fascinates me the most about people? How they live. Packaged time. Magnificence. Hey, look! -Galaxy. -What have they written about us? "Aromatic, coloured, Trnava." Take ten. Stadium of developed miniaturization. Now we must choose what we want. Well we won't take this. And what about this? We'll take this. -Give me one too. -Open your own. Horror! Don't let these two out, they don't have any ID. -I'll call the police. -Don't do it! Hold on please, I will explain! Beat it! Doctor, what about the mineral water? They are not from here. They're from a different galaxy. I mean from the agricultural co-operative Galaxy. Such a small village. Never in their life have they seen a big supermarket. Manager, I will pay for it all. -Why me? I'm not responsible for it! -What have you got? -Me? Nothing. -Give it here! -But I really don't have anything! -Quick, what is it? -A little memento. We fly from such a great distance, with a noble mission. and you steal in a supermarket. That makes 3625 crowns and 50 hellers. -Thank you. -All right. Hello. What does this mean? We can't figure out the process in which this works. -Can you give us some advice? -What is in the can? Great. But we can't see in there. Do you have matches, doctor? No! Jeez, it's petrol! Where did you get it? This must go immediately! -What if someone saw you? -It was lying in front of the house. Unattended. The man who owns this, saved a long time for it. -Worked. Went without food. -Really? Someone stole my car! Someone stole my car! Someone stole my car! Someone stole my car! Someone stole my car! I've been saving all my life! I've been working all my life! I went without food all my life! Fuck it! Someone stole my car! Someone stole my car! Someone stole my car! Go and look! You can be a witness! Give it back immediately! Mr. Vanyerka? Mr. Vanyerka! It was here! It was here! Here it is! Here it is, here it is! Here it is, here it is. Good work, comrades. I'm glad you came. They stole my car just now. I am Vanyerka Joseph, trustee. Born... I was born... Good, isn't it? We did what we could! The planet is actually controlled by a creature, which moves on four legs. It's called a car. It is the most numerous creature on the planet. A car is used for moving from place to place. The meaning of this moving is unknown. A car is noisy, comfortable... and gives off an intensive stench. Despite this, people live in perfect harmony with this creature. They remove various obstacles from it's path... and build for it huge structures which are called highways. People hold cars in high esteem. They show certain signs of concern when they lose them. Martin! -Martin! -I love you! One moment, the boss has a meeting. I'm asking for sick leave. Immediately. Now before the symposium? You've gone crazy! And what about the report? Do you have the report for me? -Well... -Yes, or no? -No? -I'm sorry. It'll be all right. Sorry. -Yansky! -Good bye! Martin, what's going on? You won't even look at me? You have a nice hat. Yes, yes, Doctor Yansky. Decent, truthful, responsible, So send him to a psychiatrist. Life is beautiful. -I know. -So what's missing in your life? It's not missing. It's excessive. I have aliens at home. So relax nicely, don't think about anything. Life is beautiful. You don't understand! -I can't go any further. -I know. -Life is beautiful, isn't it? -But I really have two aliens at home. -A visit from another planet. -Well, great! So you will rest at our place, and when you get out of here, you'll be as fit as a fiddle, won't you? -Doctor? -Yes? -We are full. We are full. So you won't rest at our place. But you'll go and rest in nature, and you'll be as fit as a squirell. Sister, write down. Nature is the best doctor. Doctor, haven't you had enough of us yet? No? -Don't you feel tired? -Let me see. You look bad. Is there something wrong with you? No, I'm only a bit overworked. Cursed, fucking job! Where are you screwing around? ! -What's the matter, boss? -Watch your language! Fuck watching my language! You watch your job! I don't understand him. What's this man talking about? Come on, boys, don't be crazy. Because of you all the gang is at a stand-still. -Boys, come on. -No boys. Look. -Reproduction artists. -We are starting a new life, boss. -Here is the agreement, master. -"Group Biceps". -We are going down the artistic road. -Therefore... we can fuck this job. Cursed, fucking job! Excuse me, do you have some cursed, fucking job for us? And now we will play for our Rose from the canteen. This is a magnificent feeling! Splendid. Indeed. How does it work? What's wrong with you? Well, what's up? Nothing. I'm working. Well, you're working, but this isn't working. You're right. And does yours work? I can't see a button anywhere. Maybe it's centrally controlled somehow. A kind of central control. Hallo! Hallo! Hallo! It's trash. Oh look! It's working. Look, isn't it manually propelled? Mine also works. Perfectly! Try it with this. -It's splendid! -It's something. It's really something. You have two days off, go to the forest and pull yourself together. Yes, nature is beautiful. Sometimes I jack it in and go to a forest somewhere, to nature's bosom. A forest, what can be more beautiful? The clearing, stumps... deer, foxes, otters, seals, giraffes... Walruses... Ah... I can't remember the last time I was there. A propos of the report, do you have it for me? No, I... Quiet. Be quiet. Be quiet. We're only human. Accompany the doctor, please. Comrade director, a delegation is waiting for you. Are the scissors prepared? It's beautiful! Isn't it beautiful, when all the houses are the same? There's such an order in it. -Harmony, architecture. When I report this at home... And I would like to repeat once more in this solemn moment, as a poet says: "O, thanks, thanks to your effort." Because miniaturization and electronics... are the future of mankind. Do you know what I like the most about people? That they can always celebrate something. All right, I'm coming. -They're always pestering. -Hurry, these are ours. Inhabitants of Earth live in houses. In small, bigger and the biggest. Many houses together are called a town. A town provides comfort for people. People start the day with a row of typical actions. When they have done the prescribed number of actions, they leave their houses and rush away. They attend to useful activities, which they call work. On Earth work is the meaning of life. People get money for work. People buy things with money, which increases their comfort. After work people return to their homes. By pressing a button they set in motion a device for amusement. Amusement serves people by drawing in new energy, so they can successfully repeat another cycle of daily activities. -Oh no. -Oh yes. You put more effort in your work. As we say, toil. Not so. You put into it more intelligence, as we say, craft. Well, all right. It's beautiful! Splendid. -It's warming. -I'm just going to the bathroom. We are the first from our galaxy, to enjoy this feeling. An uplifting feeling. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride. Nature will do you good. I will arrive after you... Don't lose your temper. You know it's bad. You'll take a rest, everything will be like before. My little bunny will go to a nice forest, snuggle down, yes, snuggle down... Tell me, why don't you follow the program? Who's the lady, Doctor? What have you done now? Yirinka, please! These are only friends. Yirinka! Never get married doctor. It's terrible! Yirinka... Enough! Guys, I surrender! I'm a goner. Look at me. I don't sleep. I wanted to sleep with the lady! That is, get married! And getting married, doctor, does it relate somehow to reproduction? Go away. Go away! Go away. Doctor, we are terribly sorry, but we aren't doing it out of spite. We don't have it easy either. Such research is so terribly demanding. We are trained specialists. I spent my youth on a simulator. With my head downwards. I didn't have a childhood at all. Do you know what it means to toil through cold eternal space from planet to planet whole light years with such a half-wit? You should take a rest. Do you also rest sometimes? -Only in critical situations. -And how? Shall we show it to the doctor? Well, actually it's a secret. But we can show it to you. Ten, nine, eight, seven... -Six. -...six, five, four, three, two, One, now! So how did you like it, doc... RESERVATION In the last episode of our serial Mystical Outer Space we explained some groundless theories about the existence of extraterrestrial civilizations and their alleged envoys on Earth. Today... -There he is! -Fasten your seat belt and no smoking. How many times do I have to remind you? Doctor! Doctor? -Are you here? Hallo! -Hallo! -Hallo! -Hallo! He's not here. I hope nothing will happen to him. -It doesn't look safe here. -Well, it's quiet instead. If I'm not wrong, it's such a sharp, frosty silence. I would say even a dry silence. Personally I'm more suited to the silence on Jupiter. The silence there was so fizzy. -I'm not wrong, am I? -Yeah. On Jupiter it was fizzy, but sometimes deep and sublime. While on Ganimed the silence was kind of dark blue, lazy, blending together. -Am I right? Do you remember? -Of course. Only I don't remember what the silence blended together with. With a morning cock-crow. But on Oberon the silence there was something wicked. -The nicest silence is on our planet. -That's right. Such a silence I haven't heard anywhere else yet. The evenings in front of the bunker... It's such a silence. Hallo, Doctor! Quiet! You are in a reserved area. I am a crystal clear well, please drink. I am a crystal clear well, please drink. I am a crystal clear well, please drink. I am... I am a crystal clear well, please dri... I am a crystal clear well... -That's beauty, isn't it? -Yes, but we would... Mother Nature will outlive us all. -It's beautiful. -But we are looking for... Yes, yes, a rest. We have wonderful things here. Yes, but we are looking for... It's something, isn't it? Wow, it's like at our home. According to the dynamic plan of the landscape development, there should be a hundred years of untouched nature here later. -Let's continue. -Yes, but... -Who are you actually looking for? -A colleague. He got lost, We're worried about him. In our forest nobody can get lost. Oh, yeah, in the past horrible things happened here. Rabbits ate grass, foxes ate rabbits and bears ate whatever crossed their mind. But now thank God there is order here. Look. I know a crystal clear well, where the forest is the deepest. Dark bracken grows there and in the surroundings, red heather. Thank you for your visit, sirs. We are closing. Please, wait. We've lost our friend here. But no one can get lost here, sirs. -It belongs to the ministry of culture. -But it's a scientist. -And what's his name? -Doctor Yansky. Hallo. This is attendant Zero. Doctor Yansky come to the exit of the reservation. I repeat. This is attendant zero, barrier 173. Doctor Yansky come to the exit of the reservation. You caused this. What a mission! -You are an interplanetary bungler. -Let it go. Look, everybody drives, but we are going on foot. This way we will never look like people. -And would you like it? -Well... they are better, prettier. Look at me. Never in my life have I looked better. In contrast to it, out there at home, how do we look? It's better not to speak about it! The ridiculous antennae. Horror! I'm telling you, I'm considering whether or not to stay like this. All right. Normally we look hideous. That's a fact. On the other hand we can travel where we want. Yoohoo! Come for a ride! All over space. And that's a fact too. Well guys? Are we going? FREE HOUSEHOLD Look, where are you going? -There, where you're going. -What about having a picnic? I'm not interested in it, doctor or no doctor, nature is not anarchy! -But I... -From eight until four and that's it! What do we have here? Come. Come. -Show me what you've got here? -Wait, stop it. -This is lovely. -Don't touch it! It's mine. Wait, come on... -It's beautiful... -I will take... No, please! No... Help! Help! Hel... Come... Come... Saw, saw... -You're also going to a meeting? -Also. Inter-ministry? No. Inter-planetary. So take him, Stanin. Look, tell me, do you love me? Look, do you hear? Will you write to me? Tell me, do you love me? Will you write to me? Manya? Let's beat it! Look... We're just naturally loose! We can't broadcast this to our planet, nobody would believe it. And why not? Because if they get to know this on our planet, then everyone will want to fly here. And we don't have enough flying saucers for this. It would be the end of our civilization. You get it? Hallo. Hallo! What do you think? Should I write to her? Don't pick it up! What will you report to them? This just isn't possible. I'll adjust the message a bit so it won't be so shocking. What do you think about this? -No. It's concealing facts. -I know. But it will be better this way. Believe me. I'll only a little bit more... Well you broadcast this alone. Did you go crazy for her or what? No. I only wanted... Sorry. -Well not this at all. -And why not? On Earth there are people of different genders, that attract each other, and they call it love. Why don't you want to broadcast it? Because they wouldn't understand it. Love... And why do you care? We must deliver all available information. This information is available, but incommunicable. -What do you suggest? -I wouldn't like it if we caused panic on our planet. I'll alter it a bit. -What about this? -Let me see. "On Earth there are people of different genders, that attract each other." This is already better. So broadcast it. But... "attract each other". I'll omit this too. -This is useless titillation. -All right. Broadcast it. -And what about the gender? -What about it? Wait, I have it! And this way it will be without consequences. "There are people on Earth." Right? It's not so shocking, and at same time it's true. Ha! Where is my report? Here. Yansky! We'll deal with this together. What do you look like? You are dismissed. The representant of the ecological committee of the UN. Ah, so that's him. Could you please tell us what your first impressions were of your visit to us? There he is! Really, you're right. Sometimes even in your case it's possible to talk about intelligence. Doctor. -I didn't suspect that you know it. -We scientists are one family. Doctor Yansky is my best co-worker. The pillar of our institution. -Have you seen Mr. Cimrman here? -He's at yours. Master Miller! I have read in Scientist your essay about the curvature of space. Your hypothesis is absolutely crazy. But these days crazy hypotheses have the right to be applied. Congratulations. Professor Horowitz. I'm telling you here on this grain of space dust they tap excellent beer. Come. I suppose, space is curved like this. -I agree. But... -There isn't any "but". But... Everyone to saloon 6, please. Everyone to saloon 6, please. I suppose it's curved like this. You mean like this and at the same time also like this. Well it's grandiose! This is a revolutionary idea! And at the same time it's beautiful. Please follow me to saloon 6. Fantastic! And at the end of the symposium I have the honour of showing you the result of the work of our institution. The first successful samples of synthetic food. Please. Fantastic! It needs some mustard. -And now I'm inviting you to... -Sorry? ...a little refreshment. Don't worry about it, they don't understand it. Men. Do you know how it will lighten the work for us employed women? Someday in the future all of us will eat this way. All over the world. Even before starting the live transmission we have to get you familiar with one interesting thing. There's an increasing number of reports, that visitors from distant planets move among us The latest report of this sort came to us from Joseph Vanyerka. He claims that he spotted a spacecraft. What did it look like? Can you describe it to us? Like a dumpster. Here you have it dear audience, most of these cases when confronted with clear scientific thinking are revealed as sheer nonsense. We thank Mr. Joseph Vanyerka. This way, please. -Pray, because... -Just like a dumpster. -Please, the conference. -Just like a big dumpster. Dear spectators, utilizing the international symposium and with live broadcasting from the Milton hotel scientists of world significance will answer your questions. Profesor Elington, please. Thank you. This is a sample of rock originating from Mars, that the probe M356 just brought from this mysterious planet. Bravo! Will this piece of space stuff answer the question that has been bothering people for centuries? So far we've been researching it in our laboratories. Even the first results have brought some exciting prospects. If we expose this sample to beams of the slightest intensity it will begin to warm intensively. Please, see for yourself. Please. -What are you drinking chairman? -Well, it's a medicine, I'm suffering from gall stones. Seven billions... in the shit hole. Well, now we have another question. Joseph Beysovec from Vamberka asks: What do you think of dwarf stars? Professor Miller, please. Dwarf stars are stars with a hormonal disorder. In fact they are stars that didn't grow into the regular size. Also I can assure you, that in space most stars are precisely according to the norm. -It's unheard of! -On the contrary. Bravo. One of your theories is better than the other. Gentlemen, quiet please. Here is another question. Marie Brnena from Uvaly asks, Do intelligent beings live in space? Professor Nowak will answer He's an expert on space civilizations. Please. We have evidence that there is no place in space with such a high density of intelligent creatures -like there is on Earth. -It's mystification! -Where is this evidence? -Space civilizations exist! But gentlemen! It doesn't make sense to look for civilizations in space while our own civilization slowly ceases to exist. It's unacceptable defeatism. The principles of evolution are the same throughout the whole universe. What's that? If in the universe there are the same principles of evolution like on Earth, then potential inhabitants of other planets would certainly go mad like us. Gentlemen. Earth pidlivization, excuse me, civilization is great. There is nothing so perfect, you can't find it in this galaxy, or even in the whole universe. When compared to what is happening on Earth, there is nothing happening at all on other space objects. Except for banal eruptions of poisonous matter. By the time the most developed planet in space invents such a fantastic thing, for example the television or the water closet, billions of years will have passed away. "Professors Nowak and Miller have arrived." In Zurich they got on a different coach to Hawaii by mistake. Where should I sit them?" Nowak... Miller? Inhabitants of Earth are reasonable beings. They are able to think, use instruments and invent new things. The most reasonable humans are called scientists. Scientists congregate in research institutions, where they attend to organised reasonable activity. A group of scientists are called a scientific team. Scientific teams commit discoveries, which bring benefit to the whole of mankind. The highest form of reasonable activity on Earth is the scientific symposium. They resolve the ill-effects of beneficial scientific work. Particular scientists are tagged with labels, so they don't get confused. The more scientific teams, the more life on Earth is better and more beautiful. If it continues like this, soon life on Earth will be absolutely perfect. So that was our last greeting from Earth. What could they be doing there at ours? At home? Nothing. You know them. -Doctor Yansky. -Dear doctor. -Our mission is complete. -We are flying back. You've provided priceless service to the idea of interspace cooperation. -The whole galaxy is proud of you. -Congratulations. I... One moment. I also have to thank you. So thanks for everything, and see you later sometime. No, no "see you later". I know that we caused you certain inconveniences. But now it's the end of this. We are going back home. We are already fed up with you also. Don't take it personally. -Otherwise you are very nice. -To your health. When our official delegation comes here, we will bring you a decoration. You golden boy! I will mount the little horse... Sing with me. When I join the army Everyone! And you, my dear -Call me Pepa. -Hi, Pepa. -What should I call you? -Whatever you like, Pepa. -For example, can I call you monster? -You can, Pepa. -And I will also call you monster. -Call me monster 2, -so there's order in it. -Bye, monsters. Bye, Pepa. Boys, I like you. Yirinka! These are my friends from space. Nice to meet you, I'm the princess of Monaco. They are just flying back. Cheers. -Cheers, Pepa. -Cheers, monsters. Well? Do they congratulate us? I'm looking forward to going home. We'll get bonuses, I'll buy new aquarium, feed the fish, and have peace and quiet. -I probably won't even tell you. -And you call yourself a friend? The central computer has assessed our information and has found serious problems. Planet Earth is heading for catastrophe. Serious problems... What do we have to do with it? That is we have to stay hear and solve them. Cursed, fucking job! What's their problem? Everything is in order here. We described it so nicely for them. How it works, how fantastic it is here on Earth. Unlikely. You don't understand it too much, you're a junior substrate, but I know different. The computer is always right. -I'm so glad, Martin. -Me too, Yirinka. Doctor Yansky? You have been chosen as a representative of the election committee and... -So Doctor Yansky will be really pleased with that. -We can't do that to him. He's such a decent man. Who do we have next? A Joseph Vanyerka. Excuse me, do you know where Mr. Vanyerka lives? Joseph! Joseph Vanyerka! Ordo Draconis - (K) Kopyleft 2016. All Rites Reversed... VISITORS A previously unknown comet appears in space, threatening Earth with impact. The catatrophe could only be avoided using the mathematical system of Adam Bernau, a 20th century scientist. Academician Filip is entrusted with the leadership of Expedition Adam 84. The technology of the age is so advanced, even travel into the past is possible. The members of the expedition are getting to know the century of two world wars, natural catastrophes, and social inequalities, and unexpectedly start to oppose Filip. They consider their trip to 1984 too dangerous. 3. THE VISITORS ARRIVE Yes, because they wanted to fly. And not because the computer liked them. Hallo! Where are you? Good morning! Morning exercise! - What a hairstyle! - Come on! Can we start now? He looks terrible. Who's going to tell him? Will you? No turning back now. - Is the fire prepared? - No. It should be burning by now! This man's blind. He seems not to notice that we don't care about his Expedition. A piece of crap! He's gone crazy! He'll burn down the house! Filip! Where are you? Filip! He isn't upstairs! Filip! He's not here either. I found him! Here, quickly! Come on! Help! Let's bring him outside! I couldn't extinguish it. I think I might have given too big a dose. Let me go! Departure is in one hour. Greetings to you all. - What is it, please? - A contemporary custom. There. I have a surprise for you. A cake! Right! With Nasper-cream! And that's not all! The best is yet to come. Watch and wonder! This is Adam Bernau's violin, about which he wrote in the Memoirs, that it was his companion throughout his entire childhood. It's so moving to think that I'll have the chance to see the living Adam Bernau in less than 2 hours. And on his 11th birthday. I hope we'll only be there for 4 hours. It seems unreal. When my parents boarded the spaceship, that seemed so unbelieveable too. So many beautiful women! While I, idiotically... Prepare for start! Shields off! The kinetor. Thank you. I repeat, we mustn't interfere with history. And nobody should find out that we are visitors. Surely they wouldn't understand it, and wouldn't know what to make of us. 2484. That's when I was born! - I wasn't even alive here! - 2123. The colonization of Mars. The Peace Treaty. 1989. 8... 7... 6... 5... It stopped. Don't touch anything! In brief, one hour from now the Bernaus' house will burst into flames. We have more than enough time. If everything went according to plan, then we must be somewhere here, on the country road that's still under construction, between Bournak and Kamenice. You know our task. 17 degrees Celsius. The air pollution is within the acceptable level. - Well, but here... - Just say it. There is no country road here! That can't be. The machines must be here as well. To the right, behind us. Hold on! - Hold on! - Give me your hand! - It's terribly deep! - Give me your hand! Pull me up, please! - What a nice country road! - Don't look down! Hold on tight! That's it! That's it! Now! Like that! Good! A bit more! Thank you. So, we've arrived. But I'm afraid, not where we were supposed to. - According to the plan we should be... - Let's check it out. - Come on, please! - My transmitter has disappeared! What did you want to transmit anyway? That we landed at the wrong place? - That's all we know. - Leave that to me. What's this? Against the cold. - Maybe we pressed the wrong button. - Why? Did you press anything? - No. Emilia! Katya! I see flowers! And bees! I thought they only existed in fairy tales! Hey! How did you get up there? From further up. Is this the country road between Kamenice and Bournak? - It will be when it's finished. - And when would that be? A year from now. - More exactly? - In May. Hold on, for Heaven's sake! All right, all right! I'm all right! But I don't really know the exact time. Is it '84 now? It's half past four, if you please! Just stay there, I'll fetch help. 1984. Floods in Italy, the Security Council is having a meeting... Everything fits. Call the Central World Brain! We have to wait for that. Only Katya knows the password. Let's try it like this: Adam 84 calling CWB. There isn't the slightest hope without the password. Do something! Can't you hear it's picking up interference? Just search under the letter P. Quickly! Not that, that's Periodicals! Maybe the next one. We said unobtrusively! - Am I needed? - Report this: the time travel is complete. The visitors calling CWB. We have 2 and a half minutes. Send us some rope quickly. The time travel is complete. There is no need for any ropes. Perhaps with a slight adjustment... The signal is not clear. Give me the parameters, please. CWB's question: What kind of rope? And what kind of adjustment? It seems there was a mistake in the calculations. Because we are at the top of a rocky hill right now. 60 meters above the country road between Bournak and Kamenice. Poochie! Third check. No errors found. By CWB's estimate, the error must have occurred during mission execution. The mission is dangerous. You don't say. Tell them that! What do you mean, I should tell them? That we cannot send another Expedition after them? The World Council approves their return. Based on CWB's data. You know what? The CWB can go and hang itself by the neck. Explain! The return would be risky. It could deplete all the energy reserved for emergencies. And you wouldn't consider this an emergency? Just give us 2 hours, and the notebook will be recovered by then. Perhaps less than two hours. Just one and a half. - Give me Academician Filip, please. - Is it OK? Filip speaking. Following a thorough evaluation of the situation the crew of the Adam 84 Expedition has decided, that... This is CWB. This is the Central World Brain. The connection is lost. CWB is powerless in the matter. Well, what do you say? Where did she go now? Eh? Poochie! Stupid Bernau! Give it to him! Are you scared? You'll get some more tomorrow at school! Just wait! What've they done to you, Adam? Oh, it's just my shirt. But they couldn't take the notebook from me. What's so important to them about it? Secret calculations. It's not suitable for girls. - Unless... - Why are you so secretive? Perhaps some girls could... Adam! Stop messing about! Wait! Those beautiful days of childhood. 50 years later, the Nobel laureate Adam Bernau wrote in Volume One of the Memoirs, page 63, "I was dreaming about discoveries that could improve the life of the entire human race." I'd like to emphasize that I don't agree. It's pointless. There is no other way. Get ready... We're going. Helicopter! Maximum alert! This is gonna cost you a lot, pal! - Where do you think that car was? - There. I saw it, but then it drove off that way. And what happened to the hut? It just collapsed all by itself? Look! Rum! It's worse than that. It's brandy. - But I... please... - We know! I'm impressed! The car only used up 30% energy, Instead of the allowed 70%. Thanks to you! - I'll remember that! - And you wanted to return, remember? - Well, yeah. I'll never forgive you, you understand? Unless... So, what is it? Just say it. Unless you tear that notebook up. If it's really so important to you... Are we going to meet tomorrow? I don't mind... If I ever catch you... Is that you, Bernau? Just wait! We know it was you who made a hole in Karel's boat! You bastard! Me? It wasn't me, I swear! Stop that! How dare you lie about that as well? It's not enough that he scares the fish away, but... Just leave him. Look there, sheep! That's right, this kind is from the hillsides. There were some especially good areas for keeping sheep in Australia and Wallachia during the second half of the 20th century. Those aren't sheep. I think they're cows. Weren't the sheep kind of woolly? - What's a sheep? - Perhaps we should get back to our mission. We aren't here on a school trip. We must adjust the program, I think. Watch out, a bus! People who live like nomads. Mostly they came from the poor parts of the countryside. Working under the Sun. So I told him, "You'll know if she starts talking!" - But she needed no introduction. Once she starts, she'll never stop. - How true! It's so different, seeing it in real life instead of just reading a book about it. This goes on every evening at our place. He just comes home from the orchard... Let's not forget, hydroponic agriculture only started in the 21st century. Back in this century they couldn't even control the weather. Gee! My dad! - Bye, then. - Bye. Didn't I tell you to get home earlier? What's that in your hand? Give me it! Fido! Fido! Adam! Can you hear me? I'm talking to you! Give it to me! Dad, I didn't... I just... Fido! Dear God! This dog is driving me crazy! Look what he just did! You're the one who should look, at all these women! - Take it away! - It's disgusting! Wasting time on this instead of studying! - My dear son! - This kid will never amount to anything! He'll never get a job, not even in the fields. He can't even calculate how much a man would plough during an 8 hour shift. If in one hour, 8 men can do... He'd only be good at playing football! - Addie! - You stay here! Hey, you! Open it! Open it or there'll be trouble! Don't hurt him, it's his birthday! Yeah, and I have a short temper! Adam, come out! Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Don't do this, my dear son! Open it now, you hear me? Addie! It's only me, your father isn't here. You can open it. Please! What is it? You've locked yourself in again? The folks from the Council were here yesterday as well, complaining that you must be brewing alcohol here secretly! You know what? They can all go to hell! What am I supposed to do with the apples? Let them rot? They're travelling with their houses! Gee, animal sculptures. They must be art collectors. I just changed the number plate, and the colour as well. And you just play here, when we're clearly late already! We'll never make it to Kamenice like this! Grab the steering wheel! And go! What do they want? Stop. This is the expected behaviour if they wave at us. It must just be some sort of greeting. They seem to be evolving in this respect as well. It seems as if a simple movement of the hand replaced handshakes. This is how they signal that they aren't carrying weapons. And what do you know about this? It must be some sort of routine check. Prepare your IDs. There's no point looking in the bag. It's full of the items related to the fire. In the small box, doctor. Not a doctor, but a land surveyor. Five o'clock. According to the Memoirs, the Bernaus' house is just starting to burn now. You should be ashamed of yourself! Your father and mother are working hard. While you... instead of practicing, - But Mum, I was... - I don't care. I know you can always find some excuse. So. Take it. And now, play something nice. There, at the window. Down there. Let me hear it. Fido! Go down to your father, and apologize to him. Give him a piece of this. Hmmm... Hurry! Dad! Can I come in? Don't be mad at me, Dad! Aw, you know I don't hold a grudge! I'm coming to open it. Have a taste! Can't we go a bit faster? I'm sorry but this isn't an airplane. We're going all right, by the way. A department store on the left, a photoshop and a drugstore on the right. Heading towards the square. A roundabout on the square, in a clockwise direction. Compulsory yield of way. Hotel Lion to the right, the city museum in the front. You're trudging so slowly, as if you weren't aware of the fire! Meanwhile, the house is burning down! Faster! That way! Everything fits. A dairy to the left, a watchmaker to the right. Everything's reversed here! Are you sure we didn't come in through the other gate? What's this? What the hell are you looking for here? Can't you see it's a one-way street? Don't you know where the fire is? It's the Bernaus' house. No. 15, Lake Street. Move back! Don't park here! Move aside! Can't you see you're in the way? Karas! You're responsible for our delay! Go on! Get dressed! End of Episode 3. HEROIC TIMES Like a herdsman's fire blazing on autumn nights across the vast sea of the Puszta, Miklós Toldi's face flares before me over nine or ten generations of antique time. (János Arany, 1817-1882) My life began in the middle of that summer, which, now I know, was the last summer of my childhood. My brother and I got orphaned early. My father, the king's knight, died in battle, so we were raised by our widowed mother. My brother, as the rightful heir of the title and the estate, enjoyed the limelight of the royal court, while he threw me, his blood brother, amongst his servants. I was not afraid of work. I also valued our servants, since I ate the same bread, that we ploughed together, with our sweat, in the rough soil. It's just that I imagined, that I could be destined to some more glorious purpose. I was inspired by my father's example. In my feverish, restless adolescent dreams I too rode my horse in front of heroic armies. I won many laurels in battle, with my father's invincible sword. Oh, that sword! That sword, He kept it sharp until his death. In the middle of that summer, a shiny army crossed our land, and their captain, who rightly took me for a stray servant, asked me about directions. The haughtily thrown reward coins caused the cup of my bitterness to flow over the brim. I decided to finally rebel against the destiny that was enforced on me, to get my inheritance and leave the parental house. Oh, damned anger! Heavy burden of my life. If my mother did not threw herself in between us, my rage could have lead me into the terrible sin of fratricide. But my loving brother knew, how to keep fanning the flames, without himself getting burnt. He ordered his servants to confront me, expecting their blatant aggressivity to deprive my anger of its last restraint. I killed. I murdered a poor, ignorant person. I became the tool and the victim of my brother's nefarious plan. My only wish was to say goodbye to my mother. But the night's shadows whispered bad advice in my ears. "She too wants your blood, like wolves." "A snap, and you are free." "Why do you hesitate? Kill her! You are already a murderer, after all." God moves in mysterious ways. Was it his will, that sparked a storm that washed away my footprints? Was it his will, or just chance, that lead me to the king's court? I don't know. Days, weeks, went by. Time is blurred in my memory. At that time it was custom that a knight-errant, visiting the royal courts called out the local braves to a duel. The loser's weapons were usually given to the winner. While wandering in the city, I've heard about the bull-headed Knight, who was defeating our best fighters, one after the other. He did not spare anyone. The king attended every day these tournaments, and each day brought new disappointment for him. On the day when two young men volounteered to fight him, I ventured among the onlookers. The king welcomed delegates from some distant country. The bystanders whispered that the visitors brought the image of the king's wife to be, in a pledge for the future marriage that could transform our country to an empire. At that time, I did not bother with all this. The fight took my full attention. The foreign knight easily beat our first fighter, and I could not help but to look toward the king's tent, to see how he reacts to another setback. I was shocked, like struck by lightning, to see my hated brother in the tent, whispering into the king's ear. My last hope went up in smoke; the king knows about everything, maybe more, maybe even worse than what actually happened. Nobody volounteered to fight the knight. Not surprising for my brother; storm always finds him under eaves. But our country's illustrious warriors one after another cowardly refused the king's calling. Even though more than one of them could have stood a better chance against the knight, than the two brave youngsters. But their precious life, their only life ... It's at this moment that the idea germinated in me: "If only I defeated this knight!" Fighting, without weapons and armor... At that time I was a pennyless, wanted man. As I stood in front of a blacksmith's workshop, eagerly watching the treasures that were out of my reach, suddenly there was panic on the street. A runaway bull was chasing away people and live stock. I took this for a heavenly guidance: "Defeat the bull, and you will beat the bull-headed Knight too!" I brought back the bull to the slaughterhouse, kindling foolish hopes that the reward will help to reach my goal. But the celestial order is wiser than the feeble man, who would trade his virtue against small change money. The mother's heart found the trail, that the brother's hatred had sought in vain. My mother found me and brought with her my holiest relic: my father's weapon. The victory was complete. With a single blow of the sword, not only my earthly sin was forgiven, but I cut off the viper's head of envy and scheming. My brother was disgraced, and I rose up. From outcast, marginalized, sinner I became the King's knight! Oh, then and there, why did the immense happiness not blow up my heart? I did not know, I could not know, that then and there, was the pinnacle of my life. It was a glorious battle. We fought to protect our country, a noble goal, for the last time of my life, now I know. The enemy's superior forces almost crushed our small troops, when an outerwordly power took possession of our flabby arms. They say, it was a miracle. Raising out of the dust, the legendary knight King himself helped our tired troops to victory. I took a sacred oath then, as a loyal knight, to dedicate my whole life to my country and king, to purity, to honesty, to knightly valor and to fraternal love, and to even sacrifice my life for it, if I must. Fine words, light colored petals. I believed in those words. But the coming years did not bring serious challenge. I expected heavy burdens, not knowing that eventually I would stumble on a tiny lump of earth. Candidates fought in tournament for a girl's hand. A girl, red rosebud from God's flower garden. I did not contend. I did not think of marriage, at that time I valued other things more. Retreated from the noise of the juvenile play, I spotted one of my fellow combattants, whom the sky did not bless with great physical strength. The poor guy was clumsy too. His eyes were lingering helplessly on the winner's award. I got pity on his suffering, so I proposed light-heartedly: let's switch clothes, and I'll get the girl for him. It would have been better if I was struck dead by the lances! Death would have saved me from my fate's further misery. At the end of the tournament I saw the girl. My world was suddenly upside down. I was all confused. What had been sacred to me: my faith, my life, my honor, I would have thrown away everything, everything, for one smile of her clear blue eyes! I knew, I felt, that she was the only one, that she had to be mine. That she also knows, she must know, that I had fought for her with honor. With honor... a man, who is a knight, can not fight in vile disguise. My poor red flower! Neither the real owner of the armor, nor its usurper was worthy for laurels. What is this painful and yet sweet choking sensation? Secret power? Demons or angels' invincible will? I had already seen that girl, but not like I saw her this time, never. And since then, I always see her that way, forever. Then a herald arrived. The emperor asked our young king to venerate him. Alert, enthusiasm all around me, to take up arms to retort to the insult. "For our country! For the king!" Fate strucks with one hand and the other offers easy resolution, but at the end of the road, where man suspects salvation, a new trap is waiting. I wanted to fight, like a thirsty man wants a cool spring. The storm of war, perhaps, will launder my honor, or it will bring death to my struggling soul. But our wise king, having compared our army's strength with that of the emperor's army, devised a strange trick. He disguised our warriors. This carnival disguise burned my skin, like embers. To put on a disguise again? What was dishonest in the tournament arena, will become warrior's virtue on the battlefield ? What brought me shame, can honor the king? For our noble goal, must not we fight with immaculate weapons? How can our knight-king open up the gates to such deceits? The victory was complete. The merriment ended superbly. As a pledge of perpetual peace, the terrified Emperor offered his daughter's hand to our lord. The tears of shame and helplessness gnawed my throat. Out of here as soon as possible! Out of the bloody fair of shame and lust. How to measure my stumbling to this mad revelry of betrayal and murder? The holy knight-king, whose oath I took will maybe forgive my sin. And that girl, I feel it, she will love me. I weaved fine words, to come up with an excuse for my thoughtlessness. She cannot reject me, because heaven created us for each other. A happy life's long years will prove, that I am worthy of her hand. All these years should be able to tilt the balance of judgment, because on the other side of the balance lies only a quick moment's light weight. When I saw that screaming girl in the robber's saddle, it was as if I had seen Her. At the bottom of a stone pit, lying on dirty straw, with broken bones, tossing around feverishly, I found out that the fruit of revenge had matured. The bull-headed Knight's children drew me into a trap, to punish me for their father's death. No one has ever seen me afraid. This is more a disease than a virtue. But I dreaded that girl, the bull-headed Knight's daughter. I, who always longed for pure love, did not know, that this hell of lust and wild passions can burn in the human soul. The horror and desire to escape multiplied my strength. I broke out of my jail. Perhaps it's not too late, perhaps that girl is still waiting for me, I was hoping. It is not possible that for one single fault, the heavenly judge would strike me with such a blow! I could hold her in my arms for a few moments. A few moments of happiness, while an autumn leaf falls to the ground, while a snowflake melts from the heat of our hand into a water droplet. Fate gave this much to me, for a whole life. Her husband came in. My brave fellow champion, and raised his dirty hand on her. I would have crumbled him into small pieces, had she not stepped in between us. I know, she protected me from the grime, rather than this bastard worm, who, while I was away, stained my name with slimy slander. The shameful! I murdered again, I murdered him anyway. "It's a knight's duty to get revenge for the offense taken on a weak lady", this was my excuse. While in reality I just wanted to sweep away with my sword the barrier that rose up between us. And she, this pure soul, horrified by the idea of blood stained happiness, measured my deed on the balance sheet of conscience. We were both struck by her cruel verdict. She rejected me. I was hoping to find peace of mind in the solitude of a cloister. I joined as a fellow servant. There was no inferior, beastly work, which I did not undertook with humility, to punish myself. The king's wife, the dim daughter of the Emperor was summoned by the Creator. Our king did not want to stay widowed for a long time, he was looking for the consolation of a new woman. Thus, re-appeared the picture of his abandoned bride. That the former betrothed is now a happily married woman, what difference does it make! This can not prevent an ambitious plan: the unification of the two countries. It seems that destroying a happy marriage is a lofty noble idea too, if the king wills it. Anyway, for me it was a chance. Hope gleamed in me: I get to fight back my knighthood! Surely the king will forgive my sin! And maybe that girl too. Bloodthirsty days. The sizzling meat, the pungent smoke of burning towns. growls, screams, the stench of corpses rotting in the murderous fire of the sun, foxes, ghouls sneaking around in the night, this is war. That's the price of fulfilling a dream. Finally, a quick and accurate strike, as a surgeon cuts off gangrened limbs, the prince's death. There is no obstacle anymore to the marriage. The country can recover. I have achieved everything as well, since the king, in exchange of saving his life, and for my dedicated fervor, graciously forgave me. Like the broken branch, tumbling in the stream, that sometimes drifts on the surface of the water, and other times is pulled into the deep, so we struggle in the unpredictable turbulence of our destiny. The tired swimmer hoping to land safely in the marsh grass greens, his legs are caught in black swamp. At the bottom, a cruel death awaits him. The girl is dead. And I died too with her. The world is dead. Purpose and reason, everything perished. The cherished dream of empire was gone. The Heavenly Judge sent his exterminating angel over our triumphant troops. The angel's name: Horror and Damnation. The angel's name: Hatred and Revenge. The angel's name: Plague and Black death. Sin is sin, even if committed by kings. Even they can not do everything with impunity. Years and decades passed. The country's life got dynamic again. The king, as if he wanted to make amends for his sins, the deceit, the destruction, has devoted his life, to clean the dust of the old-fashioned ideals out of the country. But I did not find ... I could not find my place in this new world. Like the ghost of past time, I wandered on strange streets and squares. And strangers, kept out of my way, as if I was a ghost. A past era's images floated in front of me. Sword against sword. Lance againt lance. What need is for that now? When a single miserable scrub can sweep away entire armies with his gunpowder? What do we need the old virtues for? What do we need me for? Then one last time a satanic fury rose up in me. I just remember a Black Knight, who beat everyone. Blood punded in my head. To hell with you, vile! To hell with you all, who smear with dirt the holy ideal, the pure faith of people! To hell with the whole world! Let all perish! Down with this flashy comedy world! Oh, my Lord. We yearn for brightness and purity. But our vile passions yet so often smear with mud our once clear goals. You poor little red flower! My Lord, have mercy! Script based on Toldi Trilogy, written by János Arany. Music: János Decsényi Atthe end of Sung dynasty, Ching troops invaded the northern part of china, kidnapped emperors Hui and Ching; And prince Kang was held hostage. Prince Kang finally escaped and? Ent south to found... an empire as the first emperor of the southern Sung dynasty. This picture shows how prince Kang was saved by... many patriots and the selflessness of these valiant men. "The Jin regime announces that whoever consorts with Sung empire shall be tortured to death" To save Prince Kang and restore the Sung regime Heroes have been captured by the Jins... and will be executed We must save them quickly Hero Shiu, please take some people and go from the path Hero Guo, I and a few others... will attack the execution site from the main road We'll attack from front and behind Yes Let's go "Jin" Attack You reach Chiugou, go on Attack So you're Man Tiankuei... who dares to kill for the Jins You must be Bao Tingtian the flying axe I've heard of you since long Yin Tiansi, you treacherous villain Don't pursue him I must kill the villain today ...why shouldn't I go after him? A large troop of Jin soldiers will arrive soon Let's retreat Come on The Jin soldiers are here. Let's go Your Majesty Arise Hero Man, some people stormed the execution area? Yes You have failed to guard it Your Majesty, of the nine prisoners they only freed one... and left the others They've been at a disadvantage Hero Man... the Jin have Prince Kang as hostage and are in an advantageous position It is a great responsibility to guard him ...and it falls on you Don't worry, with him under my guard there'll be no problem Award hero Man 500 taels of gold... and 50 horses Yes Thank you, your Majesty Among the Princes of Sung, Prince Kang is the most smart The others are slow-witted and can cause no harm As long as we retain him We will sure win Why don't we just kill him? It is easy to conquer, but difficult to rule After we devour Sung, we have much use for him You wouldn't know about this Yes You can lie down and speak There are so many of you, how come you were wiped out? All have been killed Nine of us were captured and escorted to the execution site, I... We will go again Tell us about the situation in Jin We went in two groups I was in the first group Hero Ting Siu led us... and came to the river side Where are the boats? What? Only 2 rafts? The soldiers must have scared them off You're so bold Brother Ting, I think this person... is the River Dragon of Jin You really know me Quickly Quickly Come... Let's go These two hiding in burrow and trunk... are the villainous pair They, the River Dragon, Fire Demon Lui, ...and Golden Demon are Man Tiankuei's henchmen They are so-called Five great fighters Golden Demon has been killed by me; But Lui's fire bomb is the most difficult to deal with After you met with hero Tseng... did you run into him? The seven of us escaped to a village and ran into hero Tseng and his men We were about to tell... hero Tseng what had happened... when Lui and Golden Demon came with their men Hero Tseng Brother Gau, just the few of you? Where are all the others? They were all killed Somebody's here Could it be... Retreat... We had been taken to jail and... following day sent over to the execution ground They were all killed one by one I never even dreamt that... I could escape They were all killed That means... so many heroes have sacrificed their lives but still don't know where Prince Kang is confined Not really. Someone has found out... the place where Prince Kang has been confined When we were in prison, few other heroes were captured there One of them... was almost tortured to death He happened to lie next to me He told me about an unguarded secret passage that'd lead to the place where Prince Kang was confined Where's this secret passage? I don't know who this hero was But as he spoke... he used his nail to draw the passage on my back Please have a look You will see... some bruise marks on my back These indicate places where fights took place, and many heroes died there The right path leads to the hill Only hunters take it, and it is unguarded If this is the way to where Prince Kang is confined how come no one is guarding it? That path will lead to a cliff There's an abandoned bridge between the two cliffs The hero said that only the one with great... lifting skills can cross it A person with great lifting skills... Yes, he urged me to go find... the loner thief Yian Luyan Apart from him, nobody can help Yian is a burglar... and has no contact with us Besides, nobody knows... his whereabouts I know He runs an antique shop in Xinlung town I have met him once I'll go and find him He was defeated by my teacher a few years ago Owing to his good lifting skill my teacher released him I was there Maybe for old times' sake, he will help We'll go to the cliff and look around... to see if we can think of other ways Alright... Bao and his men came to rob the prisoner today Although they didn't gain anything, we lost quite a number of men and the kungfu expert like Golden Demon I think they will try again Brother Man, they'll just die for nothing Prince Kang is confined here How can they save him? Right. There's only one way up hill and it is also where the Jin troops camp Hundreds of thousands of Sung soldiers... still won't be able to come through So how can these people do it? However, the cliff at the back is left unguarded There? Unless it's a bird If there's someone with great lifting skill Speaking of people with great lifting skill I know one Yian Luyan? Yes Do you know where he is? Yes, he's at the Xinlung Town We need some help here It would be nice if he's here Only if he agrees to come If he doesn't, he may be used by the enemy You know what should be done? Yes I'm leaving and will be back soon The bridge is disintegrating and in bad shape Unless someone is lighter than this stone otherwise anyone who comes this way... will surely die These are good Sir... I'm looking for my brother You are mistaken Your brother is not here I'm here for my brother He's in the antique shop in the Xinlung Town "Antique shop" Alright... then your brother must have a name Naturally; he's called Yian Luyan Sir, something has come up in the shop please come again tomorrow I'm sorry... Oh, my dear sir How can you... mess around with sir's name? Why not? That's what he's called Sir, it seems you're a novice in the boxer world Close the door Okay Come, follow me... this way You are... Master Yian, he claimed to be your brother It's you, Little Bat How come you are here? Brother, it's good that you recognize me Good, you're quite grown up I'll see how much you've learnt from teacher Wang, please attend the counter there's no business for you here Yes Come Not bad. You're half as good as teacher and 70-80 percent of mine You've overpraised me How is teacher keeping? Well, he passed away Brother, with teacher passing away... you must be glad, is it? Of course not You've found me At least you've got a place to settle down Stay here first You may have riches and glory coming to you Brother, when teacher was dying... he had a few words for you What did he say? Teacher said that he mistook you as his student He never guessed that you'd later take to crime That's why he asked me... to watch over you after he died And not allow you to consort with gangsters... going around stealing things Teacher must be confused When I was here just now you were talking with your friend How come he hid himself... as soon as he knew that someone was here? He must be a bad guy Let me have a look and stop him from coming again Nonsense Little Bat, I suppose your kungfu is as good as mine Even better We are like brothers. Does it matter... whose kungfu is better? Of course it does If yours is better than mine... how can I manage you? You haven't changed since you were small Who's he? Oh, him This is the one who will bring us... riches and glory as I said before Master Yian, someone wants to see you He's sneaky, can't be a good guy Go away, you are not welcome in here (BELL RINGING) DIRECTOR: Roll 'em. And action! Jimmy, Jimmy. Let's go in tight. (WHISPERING) Tight, tight. I'm as tight as I can go. (WHISPERING) Get down! We're shooting a movie. Get down. Get down. DIRECTOR: Cut! Cut! (BELL RINGING) What is this? Who is that? Let's move it. We've cut. It's a little too late to be careful, sir. I'm sorry, I... Oh, what is going on here? Will somebody get the security guards? I can't tell you how sorry I am, sir... Would you mind very much, sir for making this disturbance. I really can't tell you. My name is Columbo. I'm from the police. We're ready when you are. Lieutenant Columbo. No, that's all right, Danny. Just hold on a second. It's all right. Never mind the security. Okay. Take five! You'll have to excuse me, Lieutenant Columbo. I'm terribly sorry. How can I help you? Oh, that's very nice of you, sir. I appreciate that. After what I did. Gee whiz. Where was I? This is a little difficult. I'm looking for a Mr. Daley. Sid Daley? He wasrt at his house last night and he wasrt there this morning, and they just told me at his office that they don't know when he's gonna be in, so I was wondering if, you know, I thought maybe somebody here would have an idea where he might be. Yes, this is about Claire, isn't it? Yes, sir. Yes. I'm afraid it is. I heard about the shooting on the radio. And I still... I still can't... I mean I... I can't quite... I keep expecting her to walk in through the door. I know it's silly for me to think that... No. You want some ice? No, no, no, no, no. But she was something special to me. I mean, everybody felt that, but she was. I wouldn't be won'th a damn today, if it wasrt for her. And it was more than that. She was my friend. Hey. Take it easy, Ward... Exactly what time did it happen, Lieutenant? Last night, sir. About ten minutes to nine. Ten minutes to nine. God knows what I was doing when she could have used my help. Alone in my room, probably, with some idiot script. You were not, you were watching the ballgame with me. I was? A ballgame? (SCOFFS) Oh, God. I hope I wasrt. I was alone. I hope I wasrt... But you werert alone. Listen, Lieutenant, he's upset. He's nervous, you know? And he... Mark, for God's sakes! Will you stop it! This isn't one of my shows! This actually happened. Claire's... Claire's dead. Now, will you take that soup and get out of here. I can't take anymore today. Look, all I meant was you... Will you just get out of here! Sir... And stay out! Sir, he didn't mean any harm, if you'll forgive me for saying so, sir. I sometimes have a silly effect on people, you know what I mean? Just being a police lieutenant, you know. At least, I hope that's why. Yes, I'm sure it is. Your friend, sir. He was just trying to be nice. (SIGHS) What? Oh. Him. No, no. He wasrt trying to be nice. He was trying to fix me up with an alibi. Then it wasrt true? What, Lieutenant? I... Excuse me. I keep swimming in and out of myself. Well, you know, that's what happens, sir. It's kind of like being in shock. Maybe you ought to sit down for a minute, sir. I am not in shock. I don't need to sit down. What was it that you asked me? Well, sir, it was only what you said about being fixed up with an alibi. I mean, did he have a reason to? Lieutenant, would you mind speaking clearly? Did who have a reason to do what? Make an alibi, sir, your friend. I mean, were you watching the ballgame at ten minutes to nine, sir, with him? Oh, I see. Well... Yes, I suppose I was. I don't have an exact memory about time, that's why I have Mark. And if he says I was, I was. He's very responsible about time. That's what makes him a superior gofer. You think she was murdered, don't you? I beg your pardon, sir? You heard me. Yes, sir, I did. I mean... Yes, I do think it was a premeditated killing, sir. I mean, I think the robbery was staged to cover-up the murder. How did you know, sir? Why else would you be here? It could be just a routine check, sir. No, Lieutenant. They don't send a police detective stumbling around asking silly, fake-innocent questions on a routine check. I know that from my show. Well, silly, fake-innocent questions like what, sir? (CHUCKLES) Like, "Mr. Daley wasrt at home last night. "He wasrt there this morning. They told me at the office. "Said they didn't know when he'd be in, "and I was wondering "if anybody here had any idea where he would be." A man on a routine check... STAGEHAND: Your chair, sir. ...just asks for Mr. Daley. Thank you. (CHUCKLING) Well, you're absolutely amazing, sir. You're right. And here I thought you were in shock. No, you didn't. You thought I was confused. Perhaps scared. And probably playing for time. Amazing. What makes you think her murder was premeditated? The usual thing, sir. Little facts that plain don't fit, you know, sir. Anything I hate, it's one of those little facts. Doesrt ever seem to matter how small it is, either, sir. It could be this big. Like he left the credit cards behind. I mean, why does a street robber grab money from a wallet and leave the credit cards? They're won'th a pretty good piece of change on the black market. You see what I mean, sir? Credit cards. What else? Oh, there was an alligator bag. A diamond ring. I doubt very much if a robber in a hurry, on the edge of panic, is gonna take the time to pull the ring off of Claire's finger. You mean, sir... You mean, if she was dead, he couldn't get it off? Well, she is, I believe, isn't she? Well, yes, sir. But he could have asked her for it first. Before he shot her. I remember Claire trying to get that ring off at a party once. Some silly game people were playing. She couldn't. Not even with soap. And you can check that out with her husband. He was the one that asked her to take it off. He was on the other team. Boy, when you say you studied, you aren't kidding, are you, sir? Well, then, what about the alligator bag? An alligator bag that is six years old is apt to be worn-looking. It doesn't look like it's won'th very much. It probably isn't. How do you happen to know all that much about her bag, sir? I gave it to her. Well, that takes care of that, doesn't it? Right. Well, I guess, then there's only the credit cards, sir. If the killer is an idiot. I beg your pardon, sir, I don't quite follow your meaning there. Well, you don't kill a woman and then sell the credit cards with her name on it. The police have been known to bribe fences before, you know. Well, of course. I'm sorry, sir. I should've thought of that myself. Jeez, I guess you're right, aren't you? Not a lot to go on, is there? Cup of coffee? Sir? Except the panic. The panic? Yes, sir. I might have something in this area. See what you think. Mrs. Daley was shot at a distance of 30 feet and she was shot in the back. Are you with me so far? Yes, I think I can grasp that. Now, Tony... He's the owner of the deli. He said that the killer was "cool as a cucumber." That's a direct quote, sir. So that means that when Mrs. Daley tried to run, that's when he lost his cool. See, that's when he panicked and he shot her. But he hit her right in the heart, sir, and at the distance of 30 feet while she was running. Now, that's hard to do in a panic. What do you think? I think that I had better try and help you because you're going to ask me to, aren't you? You did it again, sir. You read my mind. Would you? Oh, that would be an honor. Detective Lucerne helping me. Wait till I tell my wife. Somebody asking for me? Oh, Sid, it's all right. This is Lieutenant Columbo from the police department. This is Claire's husband, Sid Daley. Sid, what can I tell you? You know how I... How I felt about Claire, huh? ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: We're ready, Mr. Fowler! Yeah. Yeah, I'll be right there. Whoops! We're hooked. I'm terribly sorry to have this happen at such a tense moment. Mr. Fowler, we're ready! I said, I'll be there. I'd better watch this, Lieutenant. Do you mind? SID: What's the story, huh? ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: We're running a little late, Sidney. Let's move it, huh? Lieutenant, what about this robber? Do you have any leads? Well, sir... The truth is, it seems to be a little bit more complicated than a robbery, sir. Oh? What the Lieutenant is saying is that he's come to the conclusion that Claire may have been murdered and the robbery may be a cover-up. Murdered? That's insane. Don't you think you should have come to me first with this, Lieutenant? Well, I tried to, sir. I've been looking for you ever since last night. I was with my lawyer last night. We meet for chess once or twice a month, and last night turned out to be a marathon session. We didn't quit until five in the morning, so I stayed over. Thank you, sir. This friend, sir, the lawyer, where can I reach him? SID: Is this a grilling session? What am I? Some kind of suspect or something? Nothing personal, sir. I have to ask these routine questions. Well, his name is Leo Hart. But I think you're gonna have trouble contacting him. He took the plane for Rome at noon. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: We're ready to roll. Let's do it then, huh? Mark! Why don't you entertain the Lieutenant while we shoot this. I'm sure he's seen this, anyway. Seen it? He was in it. Yeah, you know, Ward is right. Time is my business, you know, and I always know it. Oh, boy, am I hung-over today. I'll be glad when this day's over. Hey, what time you got, Lieutenant? 11:00 on the dot. Are you kidding? Jeez, I paid a thousand smackers for this watch. I lost five minutes overnight. Do you mind, sir? I have never seen a thousand dollar watch before. Boy, that must be solid gold. That's platinum. Oh, no wonder it looks so different. Well, there's nothing wrong with your watch, sir. You have 11:00, too. Yeah, but it should be five minutes past eleven. I always set my watch, you know, five minutes fast. You know, you're always racing against time 24 hours a day. Excuse me, sir, are those men members of your crew? Oh, yeah. Yeah. They're with us all the time. Good. I think I'll have a word with them. Thank you very much for everything. Excuse me, sir. Lieutenant Columbo, LAPD. I wonder if I can have a word with you? MAN 1: We're gonna have the hotel in the shot, right? MAN 2: Everything. On the master, right? In the master, right. Okay. This is where... He comes up right here. Can I ask you this? What now? This is just the way we discussed it. This we do on stage... This is on stage three, right? Right. Stage three. How long do we stay there? Two days at the most. Then we go to four. Well, what I wanna know... Would you make a note of this, Cathy? What I wanna know is do we really need this set? Excuse me, sir. I don't wanna interrupt you. Is that the shark from Jaws? Yeah, I believe it is, Lieutenant. That's the one that they used in the picture? I think so. Well, that looks different to me. I can't help that. If we do scene 31 on stage four... Could they have two? I... You know, because in the picture... Lieutenant... ...at the end, it got all mangled. Lieutenant, I know you didn't come here to talk about sharks. I'm pressed for time. What do you want? Well, I just wanted to ask a couple questions... We got wardrobe in five minutes. I can give you two minutes. Fine. Thank you very much. I understand, sir, that you and your wife were living apart. That's true, Lieutenant. We haven't been close for some time now. Would you know, sir, whether or not she was seeing somebody? I don't mean to get personal, but somebody whom she might be emotionally involved with? Claire was devoted to her work, Lieutenant. She wasrt any more interested in lovers than she was in her husband. It made for a pretty miserable marriage. Well, still, you must've gotten along pretty good. I mean, you were partners in business. Partners? That was on paper, Lieutenant. Claire fought me on everything. She had to have things done her way. If I said white, she'd say black. All you have to do is take a look at this new Ward Fowler contract. Paying an actor that kind of money is insanity. Now, wait a minute. Let me get this straight. Are you saying that you didn't wanna pay him that money? I think they should have turned him down. I think he would have folded. But Claire argued me right under the table. I was an idiot for giving in. Now, if this show takes a dip they'll drop it. I still don't understand. You and your wife were partners. Now, isn't it to her best interest not to give him all that money? In anything involving Ward, she always took his side. Forgive me for asking this, sir. I seem to remember stories that at one time they were pretty close. Are you suggesting that their relationship was still pretty close? Yeah. But not the way you mean it, Lieutenant. Oh, sure, they'd had a big romance, but by the time I came into the picture, it was dead. But that didn't mean that Claire was finished watching over Ward's career. She stopped being a lover and she became a mother. Sent him off to have his teeth capped. Made him drop ten pounds. Showed him how to comb his hair. It sounds like she was proud of him. It was ego. Claire's ego. You learn. (PEOPLE CHATTERING) Lieutenant Columbo. MAN: No problem. No problem. COLUMBO: Lieutenant Lucerne. I just wanted to fill you in, sir. Right. What have we got? Nothing. We still think it was premeditated, don't we? Oh, I don't know, sir. What do you suppose? Well, I suppose if that's your instinct, then it must be right. My instinct about Claire, and I don't have any clues to go on, is that she was what they call, I believe the term is victim-prone. Some people are, you know? And Claire, well, Claire was given to taunting people. She was a born victim. She was the kind who asks for it. In her marriage, in her life... Quite possibly in her death. That's fascinating, sir. You've got quite a way of putting things. Especially about Mrs. Daley. Let me ask you, sir. Could you maybe tell me more about her? Not much. But you're right. About what, sir? What you're thinking. I was lying before. I didn't like Claire very much. I haven't for years. Which doesn't mean to say I wasrt shocked by the news of her death, I was. And I was still a little bit shook up when you first walked in, so I said whatever sounded right to a detective. Some other detective. Not you. Please sit down. Properties, a glass for the Lieutenant, please. MAN: Yes, sir. You had me absolutely fooled, sir. Really? Scout's honor. Even after you asked a few questions around the set? Thank you. Our fights, Claire's and mine, werert always discreet. And some of them were overheard, I believe. You must have been told by the crew. You know how people talk. Yes, I do. I know exactly how they talk. But gossip doesn't mean anything, sir, does it? One way or another. I mean, we still don't have anything to go on except the fact that the killer hit the bull's-eye from 30 feet. If he hit the bull's-eye, Lieutenant. What do you mean, sir? I mean that there's as good a chance of a man hitting the shoulder as there is of his hitting the heart. Which leads us to another theory. We're going to assume that our man is a robber, with no prior intent to kill anyone. And we're also going to take into account the fact that a bullet aimed high at the back has a better than 28% chance of killing the victim by hitting a vital organ in a crime that is not premeditated by a robber who is not an expert marksman. Now, what do you think the odds rise to if the man is an expert marksman. Do you think an ex-mercenary, a kid hung-up on guns, excuse me, a former policeman, shoots still targets? No. Part of being an expert marksman is hitting a moving target. And a man who is accustomed to firearms enough to be an expert marksman is often in a situation of panic. That's brilliant, sir. That's very impressive. No wonder you solve more crimes than I do, sir. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute, sir. I forgot. Forgot what? The dress. The what? I think I can show you what I mean, sir. Excuse me, sir. Would you draw a circle back there right around the area of the heart? Don't press too hard, sir. I don't wanna ruin the coat. Now what? Now I drop my hands. Do you see what happened to that circle, sir? When I dropped my hands, the circle dropped, too. Now, when I first saw Mrs. Daley's body, I noticed that she was wearing one of those tight-fitting dresses. And that the bullet hole in the dress was about an inch below the actual wound in her body, which meant that she had to be holding her hands up when she was shot. And she couldn't be running away, could she? I mean, with her hands standing like this. No one runs for their lives with their hands straight up. So, either she was walking with her hands straight up or she was standing still with her hands straight up when the gunman shot her in the back. Very well done. But I wish you had said something before about this. It would've saved us a lot of time, wouldn't it? Well, we're back to our deliberate murderer, aren't we? And this time there's no doubt about it. Really, Lieutenant, really well done. MAN: Ward, the car's ready to leave for the back lot. COLUMBO: This is what the police artist came up with. WARD: Not much help, is it? No help at all, sir. I shouldn't have wasted your time. Well, I'll just let myself out. Thank you very much. Where is the... Oh! There's the door. Lieutenant, where do you think he got the costume? Well, funny you should mention that, sir. I've been asking myself that same question all day. There's a couple of odd things about it. Neither the parka nor the ski mask have any markings on them. No way to trace them and they were cut to ribbons, anyway. You certainly lock yourself in here, sir. And very smart to do it, too. Oh, here we go. No, that doesn't work either. You think he mutilated the disguise because he was afraid someone might recognize it? Exactly, sir. Boy, do you and I think the same way. It's amazing. Isn't it? I wonder, sir. Is there a trick to unlocking this door, sir? I can't seem to manage it. Everybody has trouble with this. Thank you very much, sir. Oh, did I mention the mask? That it was slashed? No. That it had makeup on it. The lab turned it up, sir. Where would he find a mask that had makeup on it? That's a very good question. I believe you know the answer. I believe I do, sir. We could be looking for a woman. Precisely. We've assumed all along it was a man, but it's possible we were wrong. Particularly in the light of this. Oh, I'm relieved to hear you say that, sir. I thought you were going to say it was impossible because of Tony. Tony... He's the owner of the delicatessen. Saying that the voice was a mars. But, the below average height and the fact that the voice was disguised and it was muffled by the mask... All indicate at least the possibility of a doubt as to the gender. The lab is going to be running some more tests on that makeup, so I'll report tomorrow. You should be on salary, sir, with these hours. I feel I am. Good working with you. Thank you. (COLUMBO HUMMING) (KNOCKING) (CONTINUES HUMMING) (CLEARS THROAT) I guess I just got carried away, sir. I hope you don't mind. No, no. It's all right. These shoes, sir, they're really terrific. Now I know why, Lieutenant Lucerne, he always look so tall. Yes, well, I would appreciate a certain amount of discretion in that matter, Lieutenant. Public image, you know. Oh, right, sir. Oh, well, you don't have to worry about a thing, sir. As far as I'm concerned, you're four inches taller than I am. And that's the end of it. Thank you, Lieutenant Columbo. My pleasure, Lieutenant Lucerne. Sir, I got the second lab report on the mask, so I hurried right over. Yes? It turns out that it probably isn't a woman, sir. You see, it was actor's makeup. Not the kind of makeup that women use in the street. Pancake. Women very often use a brand of makeup that's made up for actors like pancake. I, for example, use precisely that product myself. Yes, sir. I know. Yes. I'm sure you do by now. No, but the point here is something else, sir. You see, the lab found traces of four different shades of makeup on that mask. And women, you know, they don't usually change shades that much. So, in the light of that, sir, I got to thinking. Where did it lead you to this time? A guess, sir. A professional makeup man? Right, sir. And then to my makeup table. Oh, no, sir. No, sir. No. I only came here to see you. Honest. I was just fooling around with the shoes just to pass the time for something to do until you came in. No. I didn't look at another thing while I was here. That means you didn't have to. You already know something. Where did you look? Guess, sir. I'll give you three guesses. The studio wardrobe department. You got it in one, sir. That's absolutely amazing. You're right. The parka and the ski mask. That's where they both came from. And the gun? Come on, sir. You're putting me on. You know that guns don't come from the wardrobe department. Of course. How stupid of me. No, that's the prop department, sir, not the wardrobe department. How does a smart man like Lieutenant Lucerne make a mistake like that? Because you're not talking to Lieutenant Lucerne at the moment, are you, Lieutenant? You're talking to Ward Fowler. Well, what's the difference, sir? The difference is Ward Fowler's under suspicion of murder. And a man under that kind of threat is apt to make mistakes. He's apt to get rattled. Well, who ever said anything about Ward Fowler being under suspicion of murder? Lieutenant Lucerne did. He did? Well, how did he come to that conclusion, sir? He had to face the same fact you did. What fact is that, sir? There are only four people who could have murdered Claire. You mean the four people who knew where Claire Daley was going to be that night. Exactly! And only one of those is instantly associated with makeup, wardrobe and props. COLUMBO: Well, now, let's see. Mrs. Daley took the call from her secretary in your dressing room when she said that she was going to... Oh, what's his name, sir? Tony's. You know Tony, sir. He's the one who... If you tell me that one more time, I'm gonna kill myself. Sorry, sir. Have I said that before? So the number of people who knew where Claire Daley was going to be that night, her secretary, Mr. Sid Daley, Mark... I'm curious as to how Mark knew. Well, sir, Mark offered to bring her a cheeseburger and she told her secretary to tell him that she not only didn't want a gofer, she didn't want a cheeseburger, either. And that she was going to get a sandwich over at Tony's. And she said to tell her husband the same thing. I see. Well, no you don't, sir. I mean, you must have seen before. Because you were in the room when she took the call, werert you? She made it from this dressing room. I don't know. I'm not sure. I'm not in the habit of listening to other people's telephone calls. I didn't know that Claire was going to Tony's. You didn't, sir? Absolutely not, Lieutenant. Then how did you know, sir, that there were only four people who knew where Claire Daley was going to be that night and how did you know that you were one of them? The same way you did. I asked Claire's secretary and she informed me that the call was made from my room. You did, sir? Oh, yes, I did, Lieutenant. Oh, that's very good, sir. Thank you, Lieutenant. I believe you meant that. Oh, I did, sir. I'd say we make rather a good team, don't you? Yeah. Sort of like Sherlock Holmes and Watson, sir. No, no, no, no, no. More like Sherlock Holmes and Sherlock Holmes. Well, what I mean, sir, is the way I see it, I'm working with the highest paid detective in the world. It's not as high as it sounds. Not when you have to pay out as much as I do. Well, I gotta get to work on Sid Daley. Boy, it's hard to find someone in Rome, sir. Yes, I imagine. But his story has to be checked out just like anybody else's. Oh, by the way, sir, did I mention that we found the gun in the prop department? No. What you said was that was where you were gonna look for one. Oh, that's right, sir. Right. And you didn't wanna jump to conclusions. No good detective should. Was there anything on the gun? Anything like what, sir? Fingerprints, what else? Oh, right. No, I don't think so, sir. The lab is still running tests. By the way, sir, why do you think he put the gun back and threw away everything else? Perhaps because he didn't have time to get rid of the gun safely. Guns are very easy to trace. And the prop room may have seemed the safest place to him. I think you hit it again, sir. (KNOCKING ON DOOR) ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: Ready when you are, Mr. Fowler. Be right there. Oh, sir, if you didn't think I was gonna be in the way, I would love to... No. Not at all. Be my guest. Oh, thank you very much, sir. I appreciate that. Excuse me, sir. I don't wanna appear grabby, but do you think I could have one of these, sir? Certainly. As many as you want. That's the usual publicity nonsense. Ward Fowler this, Ward Fowler that. Nothing. Nothing to you sir, but to my wife... Boy, she's gonna be tickled pink. (CLEARS THROAT) But blend it on. All right. No. I mean blend it, especially on this side. Oh, I see. All right. Like that? I can't tell. Oh, am I in the way, sir? Oh, forgive me. I didn't mean to intrude, That's all right, Lieutenant. That's remarkable. Yes, sir. Remarkable how you do that, sir. My wife would like to have you around. Thank you, Lieutenant. You know, this bio, sir, it doesn't say anything about when you were first discovered, and what you were doing when you were discovered, who discovered you. I'm going to have a little chat with the publicity department about that. Come to think of it, sir, it was Mrs. Daley who discovered you, wasrt it? Now, Lieutenant, I told you all about that with great emotion and in great detail the first time we met. Well, that's what I mean, sir, it should be in here. Excuse me, Kenny. Thank you. Where were you and when... Lieutenant, why don't you just ask me what it is you wanna know? Where did Mrs. Daley discover you, sir? That's something even my wife doesn't know. It doesn't say anything here in the bio. It doesn't even say whether Ward Fowler's your real name or not. And that's something any Lieutenant Lucerne fan would wanna know. Why don't we stop pretending that I'm brilliant and you're simple for one moment. I'm gonna confide something in you. Anything you tell me, sir, it's between us. Like the shoes. Lieutenant, my real name, so help me, Charles Kipling. And you're the only one who knows that. Now, Charles Kipling was in a little bit of trouble when Claire first found him. Actually, I was doing theater in Toronto. Claire and I hit it off big, she thought I had a great future, she persuaded me to leave Canada. And that was the beginning. The trouble straightened itself out, of course. But I've always been a little sensitive about it. You understand? Oh, I certainly do, sir. Lou, Lou, I'm talking, but you're not listening. (KNOCKING ON DOOR) There's no money in the budget. Lou, will you believe me? There's no money. Look, that's the way it is, take it or leave it. Good. Good. You got yourself a deal. What is it this time, Lieutenant? I'm a very busy man. There was no one out there, sir. It's all right. So I just came in. Congratulations. Congratulations for what? I heard you came into a lot of money. I see. You heard about my little windfall? Yes, sir, I have. Lieutenant, if you think I knew anything about this, you're wrong. My lawyer called me and told me my wife's safe deposit box was practically layered with receipts for these silver certificates. I'll be damned if I can figure out how she did it. I think the government's gonna have a little trouble, too, because she never declared them as income. She kept the certificates in a numbered account in a Canadian bank. And it all goes to you, right, sir? And it all goes to me. After taxes. Including a few lovely IOUs from Ward Fowler. Is that so, sir? That's surprising, isn't it? Considering all the money he makes. I never question good fortune, Lieutenant. All I know is that getting along with Ward Fowler is gonna be a lot easier from now on. What about a drink? That's amazing how she kept it from you. Well she did. I just found out about it. Yes, sir, I know. Your accountant told me. Oh. Well, good. Then that's it, huh? Yes, sir, that's it. Oh, there's one more thing, sir. Mr. Hart is in Rome. He's gonna be back in his hotel room in a little while. Before I talk to him, were you really playing chess the other night? Lieutenant, let's get it straight right now. I was not with Leo Hart the other night. But I wasrt busy killing my wife, either. (BUZZER SOUNDING) Yes, Mr. Daley? SID: Molly, would you come in for a minute? I need your help. Molly, would you please tell Lieutenant Columbo where I was on Thursday evening, the night my wife was killed? The truth. Mr. Daley was with me, Lieutenant. We left the office together and we were together in my apartment until the next morning. It's the truth. Yes, madam. I believe it is. Good afternoon, Lieutenant Lucerne. I suppose you came here for a confession. Well, you're not going to get it, sir. (LAUGHING) Because you don't have the facts, sir. (CHUCKLING) Wait a minute. You're gonna love it. Let's see what we got here. All right. I don't know why you started laughing. Here. (BOTH CHUCKLING) Good afternoon, Lieutenant Lucerne. I suppose you came here for a confession. Well, you're not going to get it, sir. (WARD LAUGHING) I'm just silly, sir, but that machine, that is really fantastic. How much, roughly, would a thing like that cost? Oh, about $3,000. Not counting the camera, of course. Three thousand? Dollars? Why, I can get a new car for that. Not that I need one. Lieutenant, you have something to say to me, don't you? Yes, sir. I'm really sorry to bother you like this, sir. But just a couple of questions before my report on Sid Daley. It doesn't look like he could have done it, sir. He was with a girl and she confirmed it. I see. I tell you what. Let's you and I discuss what I have to tell you first. And then we can both interrogate Ward Fowler. You see, as Lieutenant Lucerne, I have a rather unpleasant idea taking shape in my mind. Brandy? Thank you, sir. What might that be, sir? Well, that might be... And I'm speaking strictly as Lucerne, of course. Of course. It just might be, unlikely as it may seem, it just might conceivably be Ward Fowler is the man we're after. You mean the murderer? Exactly. No. Yes. I know this comes as a shock to you. But let's think about it. Let's examine the possibilities. Well, if you say so, sir, but I don't see where there could be possibly a motive. Why would Ward Fowler wanna kill Claire Daley? It's Claire Daley who made him famous. That's what I was wondering and then I got to thinking about the IOUs. Oh, did you, sir? Yes. Oddly enough I did. I'm speaking as Lucerne, of course. Yes, of course. Half a million dollars in IOUs. Wow! I couldn't help wondering why, with all the money that Ward Fowler makes, he could owe Claire Daley that much. And then it hit me. What hit you, sir? Coffee? Thank you. Did you happen to see a show last August that had to do with a man who was being blackmailed by a woman? Oh, yes, sir, I did see that show. Yes. He shot her. Exactly. Why would Claire Daley blackmail Ward Fowler? And then how? That's where I'm gonna need your help, Lieutenant. Have you, by any chance, checked with the Toronto police by now? Yes, yes, as a matter of fact, I have. I thought maybe you had. And they told you... They told me that Charles Kipling was an alias. And that's when you decided to have Ward Fowler's fingerprints checked with the FBI? That is absolutely right, sir. You're amazing. Yes, it turns out that Ward Fowler's real name is not Charles Kipling. It's John Snelling and you're a... He's not a Canadian. He's an American. And he went to Canada after he deserted during the Korean War. There you are. There's your motive. How would it look if America's favorite detective were known to be a Korean War deserter? Or hadrt that occurred to you? Oh, yes, sir, it did occur to me, but there's something wrong with your thinking. If you'll forgive a criticism, sir. I look at it this way. If Ward Fowler's career was ruined, she wouldn't be able to blackmail him anymore, would she? He wouldn't have anymore money. And on top of that, the show would fold. And it would be her show. Do you understand my point, sir? I mean, does an intelligent woman go and destroy her only means of income? I don't know. Does she? It's what that character did in the show last August. That's the implicit threat of every blackmailer, "Pay me or I'll ruin you." Can I ask you a question, sir? Why don't we just ask Ward Fowler if he was being blackmailed or not? I asked him. And? He claims not. He claims he has what he calls a weakness. And this weakness has cost him a great deal and Claire Daley was kind enough to lend him enough money to cover his rather extensive losses. And do you believe him, sir? Taking your argument for him into account, I think so. I'm not sure. Do you? Well, it's hard to say, isn't it? I mean, taking your argument against him into account. I mean, you know, he had an awful lot to conceal. Did you know that? For example, the Army unit that he deserted from was the artillery. He was an expert marksman. I checked on that, too. He never told me that. You see? You never know, do you? On the other hand, Ward Fowler has an alibi. He was with Mark during the whole time during the murder. And that alibi is ain'tight. Is it as ain'tight as Sid Daley's? Oh, I think it's more, sir. I mean, a girl that you're gonna marry is much more apt to provide an alibi than a gofer. What do we conclude from this interrogation? Ward Fowler denies having a motive, he won't admit to having means, and he can prove that he didn't have opportunity. So that leaves us with Sid Daley. That's a great third act line, isn't it? "That leaves us with Sid Daley." Well, I think this has been very helpful, sir. Thank you very much. I certainly appreciate it. Oh. One more thing, sir. We got something else on the gun. Did I mention that? No, you. Didn't. What, Lieutenant? A thread sir. From the parka? No, sir. We haven't traced the garment from which the thread came from yet, sir. Lieutenant, if I were you, I'd get a search warrant for all four people involved. Yes, sir. That's just exactly what I've done, sir. In fact... (KNOCKING ON DOOR) Could you open this, sir? I still don't have the knack. I would like for us to know, Lieutenant, the meaning of this. Sid, please. He asked me where you were, Lieutenant. I hope it's okay that I told him. May I ask what this was all about? Oh, there's the sweater. Does it match up with the thread? I think so. We gotta take it down to the lab, though, Lieutenant. It's the only piece of clothing that even came close. I don't know what you're talking about, Lieutenant, but I do know that suspicion is being deliberately cast on me and I can guess by whom. Well, sir, I won't deny that Lieutenant Lucerne... Will you stop calling him Lieutenant Lucerne? He's a television detective. You can't conduct an investigation based on his suspicions. Well, sir. I did have a reason beyond his suspicions. You see, the gun that killed your wife, sir, had a little piece of thread that got caught on the trigger. I'm afraid, sir, that that thread came from this sweater. A thread from my sweater? Yes, sir. Mohair. And the lab said navy blue mohair. And I remembered that was the color of the sweater that you were wearing the first day that I met you. The morning after she was murdered. But that's incredible. Yes, sir, I agree with you. But I've always had a good memory for colors. Bravo, Lieutenant. Even I didn't remember that. Didrt you, sir? My goodness, that's funny. You see, because one of the reasons that I remembered the sweater was because you got hooked on it that day. Following our discussion, sir. Supposing Lucerne was right before when he got the idea that Ward Fowler was our man. Supposing Ward Fowler had planted that thread on the gun himself. I don't quite follow you. Well, sir, supposing you... I mean, supposing Lieutenant Lucerne was right, and Claire Daley was blackmailing you like in the TV show. Lieutenant, I thought we agreed that I had what you called an iron-clad alibi? Ain'tight, sir, that's what we actually say. Yes, sir, but you know as well as I do that you could have rigged that alibi. It was very brave of you, sir, to show me the videotape machine. You certainly like to take a chance. And I always wondered, of course, how two drinks could have given Mark such a hangover. I figured it was phenobarbital. And then he would be out. And you'd be able to tape the game, and go over to Tony's, and kill Claire, and get home, and then wake up Mark. And he would be disoriented and groggy and guilty about drinking. And when you saw the ballgame on TV, and it looked just about the same as it did when he passed out, he'd be glad to assume he'd only been out for a minute or two instead of the hour and a half that had actually passed. And you changed his watch, didn't you? And then you changed it back to the right time after he was asleep. That was a mistake, sir. You shouldn't have set it to the correct time because Mark always keeps his watch five minutes fast. I wondered about that. A thousand dollar watch just doesn't lose five minutes overnight. Is that it? No, sir. There's also the height of the criminal. He's about my height. And your height without the platform shoes. And there's one other thing, sir. You're a crack shot. Endlessly fascinating, Lieutenant. But as Lieutenant Lucerne would say, "Where there is no proof, there is no criminal." Fascinating, notwithstanding. But I think, sir, I have the proof. Here. What proof? WARD: Lieutenant, there are no fingerprints on that gun. You said so yourself this morning. This has been a rather silly demonstration, Lieutenant. Well, you're absolutely right again, sir. The killer cleaned the gun of all incriminating prints. But the thing is, he forgot something. Forgot what? Well, sir, you know that this gun was only used as a prop. So, of course, it was never filled with anything but blanks. That is, until you stole it, sir. And in order to kill Mrs. Daley, you had to remove the blanks and insert real bullets. There were no prints on the gun because you wiped the gun clean, sir. But there is a reason that the lab report took so long. You remembered to clean the gun. But you didn't remember to do the same thing with the bullets. Damn! I had to forget something. That's always how the third act ends. You see, I've had no rehearsal as a murderer. I'm, after all, a detective. Yes, sir, but you did kill Claire Daley, didn't you, sir? She was a blackmailer. And I killed her. And up to now, I'm glad I killed her. And I believe that in this killing the murderer has the sympathetic part. Does that satisfy you? Yes, sir. That satisfies me. Lieutenant, you would do me an enormous favor if you stopped calling me sir. Are you tired of living? Yes? What do you want? Who is it? Let me look at it Don't you recognize me? I am Man Si Sun You sent me your photo and I sent you mine Look at it I know you I know you're coming today, Uncle Chow called earlier You've got guts, it's different here now The law has been changed Both you and I will be in trouble if someone sees you Besides, Hong Kong is not as good as they say You'd better go Mrs. Lee Good morning Your daughter is going to school at such a young age? She's almost three Kindergarten education costs a lot One thousand five hundred dollars a month lt's much more expensive than hiring a Filipino maid ls she your relative? No...she's got the wrong place I won't be bothering you Let's do it this way I've got a hundred dollars here Take it What are you doing? Don't go away, what are you doing? Take it, you need money ls it not enough? Everyone's coming to Hong Kong, how many can I take in Go to 2nd fl. to wipe the windows, you sweep on 3rd Uncle You go to the fourth floor to clean the toilet Uncle Are you hiring someone? Are you from the mainland? Have you got an id card? No? This wouldn't do This will make me an accomplice You go to the fifth floor to clean up this thing Look at you Where have you been? Look how dirty you are You've got dirt and mud all over you Let me clean you up Look at you See, you've got mud on your face and your head You deserve a good beating Ah Hung was on night shift last night and wasn't back until this morning Don't go out if you don't have an id card I must go out to look for opportunities Don't cause trouble when staying under others' roof Welcome to our wonderful show and a warm welcome to our audience The last winner, Miss Cheng... Come...eat... Make way None of these competitors for Miss Hong Kong is pretty They all look like blocks of wood One has a flat nose and funny eyes I really give it to her Come and play Are you kidding? Si Sun has just arrived Then you come Come Next is a clerk from the Western Street followed by a factory worker from Kwun Tong Welcome them Do you know where No. 196A is? Go straight ahead and turn right Thank you Always big Nine is small A hundred dollars on small The bigger the bet, the more you win Big lt must be big, open it up Excuse me Place your bets, open, small How come it's always small? Bad luck, what happened? Tough luck Brother Shing, what are we going to bet on next? What else? Big Big... One hundred and fifty for small Place your bets... Open up... Place your bets, open 1 , 3, 4. Small Pay up... lt's always small, tough luck This god has lost his power I'll be betting on big again this time This god won't protect people so easily Look at me, I'll bet on small Hurry... Open it up Four, five and six is fifteen, big I said bet on big, you are really weird Bath water of woman Hurry back to wash your eyes Place your bets, or I'll open Three hundred dollars on big Bet on big Wait We must win while our luck is good I bet on triple five. Do you accept this? Yes One hundred and fifty dollars for triple five One hundred and fifty dollars for one bet Come on Alright, I'll bet ten dollars You are a man, put in fifty lf you don't win, you lose, it's that simple Alright, I'll listen to you Place your bets, open Open, triple five Three fives, we've won We've won We've won a lot You'll win a lot of money Pay up... Forget it What luck Place you bets... One hundred for big, it must be so Open Place your bets, open 1 , 2, 3. it's small Place your bets Place your bets Stand still, chase, don't let him run Don't run Stand still Don't run, stand still Stop him Alright Don't run Stand still Don't run Pick up the money, give me a share Chase The woman is bathing No wonder my luck has been tough recently Hurry and split the money This morning the police has intercepted and seized a fishing boat near the Fan Lau at the Lantau Island While searching the boat they found 20 illegal immigrants One of the women escaped and jumped into the sea Police has issued warrant for the arrest Coming up next is the 63rd draw of Mark Six The 6 drawn numbers are 1 , 4, 8 13, 16, 18 The extra number is 33 Repeat again, 1 ... I'll give it to you Why do you have to give it to me? I won't need it anymore, I'm moving out Congratulations, you've got relatives to take you in Not really, I've found a "ma ma san" Your mom is here? Ma ma san is one managing a horde of dancing girls If I'm going to be somebody's plaything why not work at a dancing house and earn a bit more money to send home Congratulations, sir You have the look of a rich man You'll be rich in 2 years' time lf this doesn't come true you can come and challenge me Miss, your id please Duke, do you have an id card? Give me back my id card Thank you Miss, please come over My dear, where have you been? Go back to your sleep Go, it's late Duke, show me your id card My wife Honey, wait for me, don't go so fast idiot I must thank you for what you just did You've saved me once You have no id card? Did you swim here? Jumped the train? I swam here How long have you been here? Not too long What's your plan? What plan can I have? Staying with your relatives? Washing clothes? Yes Did you come from the mainland? Have you got any relatives here in Hong Kong? Virtually none Please don't mind my saying lt's not a good idea to stay with that gang What else could I do, it's better to be here than to be in the mainland You can find someone get married and start a family Wouldn't that be just as good? You can stay in Hong Kong and don't have to hide for the rest of your life Women have to get married sooner or later Find someone and get married is much better than having to... I've a relative who is a carpenter He's still a bachelor Although he's illiterate, and somewhat uncouth he earns four thousand dollars a month He's honest and is not a gambler I believe he can be a good match for you If you are agreeable, you two can meet Think about it Tonight I'll worship the gods, come and have dinner Try harder... Fight... Buy what? Five hundred dollars on red Take it Separate... Watch out, I've put in a large bet You'll lose to him this time Don't let him come close to you His punches are more powerful than yours Can you win? Don't worry I'll not let the house lose What is this? Drink it and you'll feel strong You have enough points to win Hit hard if you have the opportunity lf you are tired, try the guerrilla warfare tactics lf you win points I'll get paid too you know! I'm going to top up the stakes, calm down Sister Wan Try harder... One, two, three, four Come over Top up Ah Cheung's stakes Buy less Get up One, two, three, four, five Hit his left side One, two, three Get up Five, six, seven Get up Blue win Damn it, why don't you use guerrilla warfare tactics You're so weak Do you need your mother to pamper you? Damn you, what the hell do you know? Don't come over Watch him for me What do I know, I placed a big bet on you Stop... Can you fight? If you can go up and fight Right... Why not? Can I bet on myself? Of course You'll be the red side, the odd is one to five Alright, I'll bet on myself Bet on me... I'll surely win, bet on me All for red Bet on red...it's sure win Bet on red Thank you See how Sister Wan cares about you Do a good job Your takings Sister Wan, what happened? Nino, your "kids" are good for nothing I do as I please l'll show you something good in the next round You're bluffing all the time, what if it's no good? If it's no good, I'll give Ah Shui to you lf l win then he will... This cannot be given away Come... Start Try harder... Come on... Can you fight? Come... Get up... Get up .. Come Go over lt's alright You belong to this side, idiot Sister Wan has an affair with the referee You'll surely lose by points unless you knock him out Hit him Give it all you've got... Blue side, come on Get up .. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I've won, red has won Kid, I was right about you Be good I'll get you a fight in the selection contest Thank you This is your prize money Si Sun is young and beautiful Just have to bear it for a while but it's only temporary lt'd better not be a real marriage Who said anything about getting married? Come... Go away Let me go Don't be shy If she's not coming, then you come instead How's Ah Ha doing lately? Haven't seen her for a long time Who is it? It's you You know him. ls he your relative? No Have you been fighting? No Who is he? He's from the mainland and I'm staying in his place temporarily We share the same fate The same fate? Take turns and play Get lost You're all bastards Ah Ho, Ah Ching, don't let him go Don't let him go...stand still... Come... Uncle Kwai's dead wife was so ruthless that Uncle didn't even dare to say a word She left Uncle without any children Uncle Kwai wants a son so much Look, he lives there He lives by himself on one of the floors His flat landlord is an old man who often travels to America This is a good area There's a podium, and has everything Be careful, these stairs are no good Open the door, Uncle Kwai Uncle Kwai Coming You are here Come in lt's so dark, why don't you turn on the light? I've got used to it What? You want to save money? I can see without the light Don't tease me, sit... Sit... This place is too small You should sit here Sit This is... Miss Man Uncle Kwai Uncle Kwai Please stay for dinner I don't have much to offer, but it's easy I'll buy some food from downstairs Good Uncle Kwai, no need to stand on ceremonies Miss Man, how old are you? Twenty two Have you got any brothers and sisters? Four Are they all in the Mainland? Yes You have great responsibilities Yes, come... Let me tell you, she... Uncle Kwai likes you Honestly, here it's better than in those wooden huts What are you thinking about? I'm an illegal immigrant I still owe people a large sum of money I've told Uncle Kwai before He said he can give you $300 a month to pay your debt and another $200 as pocket money ls that enough? Yes... What if there are no children after the debt is paid? I have no problem with that But I don't know about him... Then the three hundred dollars are for you Five hundred dollars in total per month ls that correct? Then you don't have to think about it anymore Just stay here tonight to save yourself money and efforts youneedn'tworryaboutgettingyouridchecked impossible Why? Uncle Kwai, this bed is so small How can two people sleep in it? Small? I've got an idea This should do it That's good enough A carpenter is well-equipped Finish working? Wow, it's a colour TV I never thought I'd marry such a good wife is he any good? His right hook is powerful, don't worry Get up is it alright? One, two, three, four, five six, seven, eight, nine, ten Now we invite the H'nble Chairman of Free Fighting... Association Mr. Chan Chi Chuen to present the prizes Mr. Chan Chi Chuen please Kid, I was right about you, you're good I'll sponsor you in the Asia Pacific selection contest I'll write you a cheque, it'd suffice for a good life and be enough for you to get a trainer You can spend as much as you want. Okay Let's take a photo Watch here...smile... Si Sun, it's you Auntie Kam Come, come up Come up Auntie Kam, this is for you You shouldn't have spent all this money lt's good enough that you dropped in for a chat Thank you so much You don't have to take off your shoes, it's a mess here Have a seat, I'll get you a cup of water My heart is sincere, my love is true the moon speaks for my heart You ask me how much I love you My heart is sincere, my love is true Just arrived? Yes No lD card again She has your old clothes A light kiss makes my heart flutter A deep and utter... I've been looking for you Why have you come to Hong Kong? I want to do something I'd like to do Couldn't you do it in Canton? No but I was doing more of what others wanted than what I wanted I didn't realise before I had achieved anything here I had to sell my body You mean those bastards in the wooden hut area? It's not them They have escaped to come here too They work hard for money and have to send it home to their family How about that carpenter? He treats me well But he wants a son, and I want an id card When he got a son, and I get my id card He won't force me to be with him He might even give me some money then I can do whatever I want What do you want to do anyway? I want to go to Taiwan Then what do you want to do in Hong Kong? Me? I want to be rich I want to earn a lot of money, and enjoy myself Can't you be rich in Thailand? If I could would I have come to Hong Kong? Then are you rich yet? Do you know how to become rich? I know Hung Fist, and have learnt Thai Boxing too lf l combine the 2 styles they are no match to me Just wait and see, I will win Does it hurt? Do you feel the pain? This is Ah Mut Sha, your opponent He's testing the power of his opponent Watch out for his elbow, he's quick He's Chan Kam Kong, represented Hong Kong last time His punches are powerful Have you seen his knee attacks? Very lethal Within one round One, two, three, four Again Catch it Lousy Japanese stuff, hardly used it for over a day Save some money Why do you need a vacuum cleaner? We have no carpets I don't care, get some carpets then I can get them but give me a son quickly My dead wife never bore me a son and she just died Damn you, you're cursing me I didn't mean it Si Sun, bear me a son to continue my line and I will reward you well Even if you were arrested and sent back I'll buy you a house in Shenzhen and will come to see you whenever I have time What if there are no children? Don't say such things You know I am superstitious Alright, never mind... Really? You can get a car for nine hundred dollars? Of course it's real, it's been advertised I called just now A lot of people have been asking Better be quick if you want to buy one This is it, not too bad Like it or not? No, it's 1997 here lt can't be Look How can that be, the screw is loose, it's 1967 This car isn't bad Do you want to test it? Sit tight Come inside and talk This car will be yours for nine hundred dollars Recently driving license fees are up, and so is the gas That's why cars are sold cheap That's right Okay Where's the license? I can't give it to you now What do you mean? You have to pay the remaining six thousand dollars before you can have your license Six thousand more? Of course Give me back the money, I'm not buying it Well, then all that will cover the administrative costs lf everyone came in like you and messed about, how can we run a business here? Country bum How come you puke just after a short car ride? Are you alright? Luckily I haven't bought it Otherwise, you can't enjoy it Come down Hey, you... Damn What happened? What are you doing? Stand still You want your money back? Here I'm sure to have my money back And along with some administrative fee Thank you Hey Don't you know me? I am Choi Ha ls it really you? Yes I couldn't have recognized you if you hadn't call me Let me look at you Well? You are pretty Just put on more make-up to make yourself pretty Money is for spending l heard that you've got married Are you going to be a mother soon? Really? I'm faster than you I've got more than ten "daughters" What? I'm a "ma ma san" I love my "daughters" Going shopping? Yes, chicken is cheap today Si Sun Mr. Kwong Buying vegetables? Yes How's Uncle Kwai? He has to work late and won't be coming back tonight Really? I won't bother you then Goodbye You don't need to buy vegetables? I've bought them Who's that guy? He looks handsome ls he your boyfriend? You're doing better than me No, tell me or else I'll tell your husband So late? I'm studying English Drink it ls it chicken soup? Where are all these lD cards from? They're for you I've won them There are so many women in Hong Kong who sell their id cards for the sake of gambling One day when I win the fight, I'll have everything not to mention id card I don't want it Look at how bad this woman looks She's a shame to our city Put her to sleep The old man is back No Old aunt upstairs is out of breath climbing the stairs Go to America with me Go to America? How? If I win the semi-finals, I will go to America for the world champion lf l become the America's boxing champion I can apply for you to come over Will you win? Very likely You're against Ah Mut Sha, the Thai Boxing Champion He fights fiercely But I might not necessarily lose I won't see you fight I can't stand your being a boxer Are you going with me or not? I don't know English You can learn it Those foreigners are weird They're either blacker than coal or insipid white I would say you don't want to give up that old man It's not good leaving him like this Do you really want to bear a son for him? Have you suffered so much to come here just to bear a son for an old man? I can't say whether the child you are pregnant with is his or mine It's mine Alright...it's yours What about me? You want the child but not his father? Disgusting is it the neighbour upstairs again? It's my husband Don't you have to work late tonight? Ah Mut Sha's elbow and knee are powerful If your condition the following night is as good as now, you'll be alright Hello How's the training? Boss, it's great, don't worry Boss... Good, any problems? Very good, he'll surely win Boss' car was passing by and he insisted on coming up to see you He has also brought you some chicken essence Keep it Alright, I'm leaving, I've to go for a meeting I'll see you out Don't work too hard, understand? What's the current situation? One to four, that Kong Yuen Sang will lose lf they had not known he's practising real hard the stakes would be 8 times higher He'll definitely lose One to six, get them all Alright Asia Pacific World Free Fighting Champion final round will now begin The winner of this match will win $40,000 and will represent the Asia-Pacific region to fight for the final Championship to be held in New York When match begins Kong Yuen Sang starts his attack A right hook Ah Mut Sha is unable to retaliate Ah Mut Sha is now retaliating, right fist a left kick Ah Mut Sha is pressed down by Kong Yuen Sang Ah Mut Sha can't do anything but to hold Kong The referee is separating them but Kong wants to continue with the fight The experts here tonight are the Champion of two successive years Ah Mut Sha, nicknamed Crocodile King who is very experienced and fights fiercely His challenger is... a Chinese-Thai, Kong Yuen Sang He is a rising star in Hong Kong The two of them are still fighting and have not been able to get the better of each other A right hook A testing straight punch Hit him, hit him on his head The two are still fighting A right kick, forcing him towards the ropes of the ring following up with alternate left and right punches Once he retires towards the ropes of the ring Ah Mut Sha was stepped on his foot Ah Mut Sha wants to hit Kong but fails Ah Mut Sha hits Kong with a straight punch after Kong's hit, he moves away then a left hook followed by a left kick Their knees knocked against each other Kong Yuen Sang's left kick hits Ah Mut Sha's shoulders Ah Mut Sha focuses and kicks Kong back Kong blocks him with a straight punch Ah Mut Sha ducks and hits him with a right hook Kong delivers a right punch Kong Yuen Sang is relatively less experienced and is a dark horse in today's match Let's see if Kong can win unexpectedly His stakes in the China towns of U.K United States are one to five A right punch There will be 5 rounds in tonight's match Each round will last for 2 minutes Ah Mut Sha gives a right kick, then a right punch Alright, the first round has come to an end I'll beat him You've won this round Continue to fight in this way Easty now, don't rush I'll beat him You needn't fear Just beat him, don't be afraid The bets are on your defeat, don't fight too hard You have to fall down in the third round You bastard, watch me He'll be on his knees in the second round Kong seems to be in a better position in the 1st round The second round begins After Ah Mut Sha delivers a swift left leg sweep... both lash out at each other Kong is hit Now he starts his attack Ah Mut Sha is hit, the attack is ferocious Ah Mut Sha delivers a right punch Kong Yuen Sang falls Kong is determined to win Ah Mut Sha realises his weakness of being too rash Don't get up so fast Wait until he counts to seven Kong wants to get up He's up Once he gets up, Kong retaliates Good, two punches lt seems that both are stalling Kong rushes over and holds him Ah Mut Sha has been under attack with sheer force Kong forces him to the ground Kong presses him down You stupid fool I told you to hit his head but you keep hitting his body There's no point hitting his body I did Be careful of his elbow You've messed up the tactics Did you know that you've lost this round? Don't be so hasty He can't beat you Don't be afraid. Fight on Fight harder Fight yourself lt's right to fight like this, keep it this way You should pass out in the next round Shut up Remember what I've said News roundup. According to the official report immediate repatriation tactics for illegal immigrants who are caught has been effective The government denies rumours that those who got married and gave birth here will be pardoned A female illegal immigrant gave birth to a boy today at the Queen Mary Hospital but the woman was deported back to the mainland This becomes the first case of an illegal immigrant denied permission to stay after a delivery here Please continue to watch the live broadcast from Queen Elizabeth Stadium Asia Pacific World Free Fighting Championship finals Over to you, Ho Jin Kong Thank you, Lai Yin Shan The fourth round has just ended ln the first and third rounds Kong fought better Ah Mut Sha fought well in the second and fourth lt seems that the deciding match will be in the fifth round Boss says that you have to win He wants to make you the new Champion He's willing to run a losing business? Boss has a good plan and just called long distance to top up the stakes he can still make a buck No wonder he started the match half an hour earlier to facilitate doing this Ah Mut Sha will beat you anytime Boss has asked you to drink some magic potion lt can refresh your spirit lf you lose, we'll be in trouble For me this match is a piece of cake Beat him This will lift your spirits Thank you Any trick in it? I'm here, don't worry No use Look The fifth round will soon begin Both sides have been on equal footing in the last four rounds This is the deciding round The referee is asking both sides to get ready Alright now, begin The fifth round is about to begin Kong tests him with a left punch A punch Followed by two Ah Mut Sha delivers two kicks Two kicks Get up He's up He's exhausted Ah Mut Sha uses his left knee to hit him A left kick Beat him Followed by a left hook Ah Mut Sha is hit on the head Ah Mut Sha hates people hitting his head He hits Ah Mut Sha's sore point Ah Mut Sha is dizzy Don't let him hit again He delivers more kicks with his right leg A left punch, this is powerful Then a left punch This is lethal Now let's see who has staying power The one with more endurance will win The fifth round is drawing to an end 30 seconds more Let's see who the winner is Both are exhausted Let's see the final result His left hook didn't hit the target Ah Mut Sha kicked in the air Kong Yuen Sang retreats to the side of the ring Ah Mut Sha wants to dash over Kong delivers a double kick One punch, two punches Three, four Five, six, seven and a kick Ah Mut Sha falls on the ground lt looks like Ah Mut Sha is unable to get up One, two, three, four, five six, seven, eight, nine, ten Kong Yuen Sang wins Ladies and gentlemen I am interviewing Kong Yuen Sang right now Kong Yuen Sang...excuse me Spare me some time for an interview Si Sun, I've won, I'll take you to America Good Are you happy that you've won tonight's match? We'll go to America Wait for me. I'm coming Over the five rounds of this whole free fighting competition I feel that Kong Yuen Sang should win But who will actually be the winner? The judges will decide Whoever is the winner will be representing the Asia-Pacific region Alright, they'll soon announce who the Champion is Everybody, the Chairman of the Chinese Boxing Society will be presenting the prize to the Champion I am sorry, the organizers have received a complaint that a contestant has used banned drugs There will be a urine test Please wait, the result will soon be announced What is it? It's from boss Was there any drug in what I drank? Ladies and gentlemen, after the urine test lt's proved that Kong Yuen Sang has taken stimulant so he is disqualified Ah Mut Sha leads the Championship 3 times in a row Go Kong Yuen Sang, you bastard You dare to play tricks on me Boss, I'm sorry, I... None of your business Give him the cheque Ah Cheung, what a plan to give him drugged tonic You're good Damn, you set me up Did you betray me? What if I did? You've lost anyway Si Sun... What happened to you? I fell from the stairs My son's gone, my baby is gone! Lost... Ah Kwai, help me My son's gone... You only think about your son, and not about me That's not true, but I've spent so much money in the hope that I could have a son A son... You should have the ability Am I not? I'll give you anything you want Did you say I'm not capable? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? You bastard lf you are that capable, marry a Miss Hong Kong If it were not for me you'll still be a whore in that place, you bitch I didn't come to Hong Kong to bear you a son What's a woman for if not for bearing children? This son is not yours Not mine, you're saying I'm impotent? Alright, let me show you No I'll show you Dare say I'm impotent? Help What happened to you? I... I've lost Who are you? Are you two having an affair? I'm calling the police, you are illegal immigrants I'll report you I'll sue you for breaking in He's calling the police Never mind him, he's crazy... You say I'm crazy? I'll beat you... You want me to buy everything Cassette player Buy the whole of Hong Kong if you can You want to buy everything Television You say I'm no use, but I've bought everything No use It hurts, I can't walk She's bleeding badly You better call an ambulance None of your business Madam, you call an ambulance for me please Alright... I'll call for you They'll deport you back to China Ordo Draconis - (K) Kopyleft 2016. All Rites Reversed... VISITORS Expedition Adam 84 gives Mr. Dürchlich a night of surprises. The money sent from the future isn't delivered to exactly the right spot. What's more, somebody witnesses their entire conversation. The land surveyors are suspicious of him, right from the start. The fact they come from the 25th century doesn't particularly shock the old man. But the football results in next week's newspaper do. On reading about the victory of Sparta, he is struck speechless. The visitors have no choice but to dry their clothes, and the money too. But the Central World Brain has made a mistake when sending their money. A mistake of 100 years. The banknotes are out of date. The Expedition is near bankrupt. The doctor's disappointed too, over his ejection from the hospital, and Olga's seemingly happy marriage. The search of the mysterious Beisovice fishing lake reveals nothing new either. Although the discovery of Mr. Dürchlich's bicycle causes some speculation in town. Yet the old man is still alive, and he's entertaining guests, and even the doctor manages to make contact with them in the end. 13. DISCLOSURE Prepare for our journey back home. Destroy Eyes No. 2 and 3. - Anything else? - There's a bill, 728 for the rooms. Why haven't you paid it? Because I'm not a Schwarzenberg. If you want new horses, I'm happy to help, though. - What now, then? - We only found the bicycle. 728 Crowns? Check if they included the extra bed in that as well? Yes. It's with the extra bed. 646. - And 5 more. - Here is another 20. Plus 3. The change they gave me when I bought the fur coats. And you said it wasn't a good idea to buy them. - Mr. Dürchlich? - Well, yes. You use the pencil as a phone, but still, you don't have the money for the hotel. What can I say? Nice prospects. Well, we'll surely cover the rest somehow. How much are you still missing? - 54. - That's nothing. That's right! -You've got to do it someday. -Yeah, but how? I have a selfish idea. It has to do with you and me. It's called marriage. -Wouldn't that just bowl him over? -I'm sure it would. And me too. But... don't think of doing it just to bowl him over. Betty, you're the only girl I've ever wanted. Rodney... Rodney, not that way... What good is life if I go through it not having guts to do it my way? Rodney... I've really loved you for such a long time. It must take a lot of patience to make something so beautiful. That's what they tell me. -All done. -Thank you. Naked as the day they were born. Not a stitch on them. Saw them with my own eyes! Sorry, don't think it 'd be ethical to tell you their names. Good-bye. Marion? -Thanks for today. -Anytime. How about tomorrow, for instance? I can't remember when I had so much fun. I'd almost forgotten the wonderful things there are for people to do. It isn't over yet. Mike, please... I don't think... we'd better... I mean it! -All right, let's talk about this. -I don't want to talk. I just want you to leave. -Just like that? -That's right. -We're not kids, we're adults! -And we're going to behave as such. I kissed you, you kissed me. That's affection, not carnality or lust. You ought to know the difference. And what do you call a man who thinks about nothing but... Human. All men are alike. The approach is different, but the result is always the same. Sooner or later, we'd get around to this. If all I wanted was a woman, I could get one any place. In a bar, in a hotel lobby, on a street corner... Or in my home? I'm not going to let you make anything dirty out of this! Then what do you call it? I'm going to tell you a hard truth about yourself. It isn't sex your afraid of. It's love that you can't handle. And that's what you're offering me, with your hands all over me? That's only one expression of it, backed up by many things. I haven't asked for any of them. You'd better understand what you're saying no to. When I take you in my arms, I'm committing myself to you all the way! That means that I intend to worry about you, take care of you... and that's what I want back from you! Without any reservations, or shame, or embarrassment! -Either you're up to that or not! -I have my standards and my pride. -Not enough. -You need someone to trust, to love. -No, I don't. I don't! -Just leave me alone. -I can, but I don't want to. Connie, let me help you. I don't care if you hang back. If it takes time, I'll give all you need. I can't! The offer is always open. I don't know if you'll take it up but... perhaps it will make you feel better knowing it's there. Hello? Yes, Marion. I don't believe it! Are you positive? No, I'll call Mrs. Page myself. Operator, would you please connect me with Evelyn Page? I don't believe Norman did what you said he did! 2 people saw them. Marion Partridge has probably spread all over town! Don't you dare say a word against Norman! If you brought your son up with some intelligence, decent principles... He has no interest in girls! He never had. He never learned about sex at home. The word was never mentioned. -Hello, Mrs. Page. -Come in here. -Where is Norman? -Outside, just going home. -Mother. -You just stay right here. -What's the matter? -Norman! -Come in here! -What is it, mom? -Where were you today? -What is it, mother? You were seen at Crystal Pond swimming in the nude with Norman. -Oh, that's a lie! -How could you think such a thing? You were seen clearly and plainly by two people! We went swimming, Mrs. MacKenzie, but we had our suits on. And by now everybody in Peyton Place knows about it! So help me if anything is wrong with her because of this! I didn't do anything. We didn't do anything, did we, Allison? -No! -You'd better take your boy and go. I've never, never been so humiliated and disgusted! Allison! Come back here immediately! If you keep this up, someday I'll do what you keep accusing me of. I don't doubt it. You're just like your father about sex! In that way, you're just like him! Don't you say things about my father. He was a wonderful man! -Wonderful. -Fine and good to you. That's what you told me. So don't blame him for anything! Wonderful, and fine, and good. That's what I told you? I lied. I lied about him because I was ashamed of him and of myself. -Then why did you marry him? -I didn't! And he didn't marry me because he already had a wife! -You don't mean that, mother. -I do mean it. -Don't you understand? -No... He had a wife! No! Nellie! Allison! Connie, everybody reacts differently to suicide. With Allison, severe shock. -But she looks so, so... -Shock is just a kind of a sleep. It's an escape when the mind can't accept what it sees. A few days care and she'll be out of it. I guess I'd better tell Selena. And, Connie, just because it happened in your house... don't think that any of it was your fault. -Somehow I do. -You've got one thing to think of: Allison. If you were going to get married, why didn't you tell me? -Because you wouldn't have approved. -You never gave me a chance. At least, it would've been a proper marriage... not a cheap sneak-off weekend affair. -Don't say that! -Well, what was it? -I'd like to talk to you alone. -You can talk to both of us. This has to do with the business, not your wife. -I'll wait outside. -Okay, honey. I can get it annulled. Look, dad, I don't want any trouble between us. I was in love with Betty and I wanted to marry her, that's all. You weren't in love. You had an itching for her. She took you, son. Good-bye, dad. -Don't bring her to the house. -Then I won't be there either. Rodney, what about college? I'm not going. I have a wife to support. You can have a job here if you work like everyone else. That's good enough for me. Thanks, dad. I know you weren't coming down for lunch, so I thought... It's such a beautiful day, darling. Why don't you get dressed and go for a walk? You haven't spoken with me for over a week, since... Allison, I understand how you feel. You'll just have to accept what's happened... make the best of it. Mother? As soon as I can, I'm going to get dressed... pack my things and leave Peyton Place. I never want to see this town or you again. -You can't mean that. -I mean it. I'm going to New York. Please, Allison, I was only trying to protect you. I was an accident that you hated and tried to hide. But I loved you from the moment you were born. Try to believe me. Well, how will you live? What will you do for money? I have enough to get there. I'll find a job. Suppose you can't find a job. Then I'll live off some man, the way you did. Oh, God... God, help me! Allison! Allison! I didn't want you to come down here. I couldn't say good-bye to you. -You know I don't want you to go. -But I'm going just the same. Stay here! You belong here, both of us, together! -We've been friends ever since... -Good-bye, Selena. But your mother? How can you leave her alone? Mother's always been alone. Oh, Selena... I cried all the way to New York... and my eyes were the color of the oak leaves... that had started to fall back home. For days, I struggled to keep alive... and I shivered with loneliness in the back room of nowhere. There were times when lwanted to crawl home... but somehow I managed and I stayed. I learned what I could endure. But none of us in New York or in Peyton Place... could guess how much would be demanded of us that winter... of deep despair. I knew families at home would be getting up on frosty mornings... driving their sons to a place of hurried good-bye. I prayed forthem. Come on, fellows, get your last cup of civilian coffee. That army stuff is used for waterproofing shingles. That's what I heard. Make yourself. -Take a cup. -Did you hear what Norman Page did? -Yeah, became the first 4-F in town. -No, he enlisted in the paratroopers. -No kidding! -Our Norman? -Norman Page? -He volunteered. The paratroopers. It's the funniest thing I've heard in years. Maybe they'll drop his mother with him. She'd kill 1,OOO Japanese before letting one touch her little boy. Brought you a donut. Here. -Rodney, I'm going to cry. -No, and don't say anything silly. Betty, you know how glad I am that I married you? Oh, Rodney, I hope so! Your dad is over there. Go say good-bye to him. Go on, go say good-bye to him. He loves you as much as I do. Go on. Take care of yourself. And, whatever you do, do it honorably. That's the family motto. Say, do me a favor, dad. Certainly, son. Take care of Betty if she needs anything. She won't ask you, but she might need it. -I'll keep an eye on her. -The draftees assemble over here. Come right in close. Now... as chairman of the Draft Board, let me say that all of us regret... having to send any of you men off to war. You carry our love, our devotion and our undying gratitude. Please, try to come back safely to your homes. We've prepared some gift packages. Step up here, I'll hand them out. Peyton Place draftees, in the bus, on the double. Let's go. Hubba, hubba, hubba! Come on, boys, hurry it up. Make the good-byes short. Name, loud and strong. Last name. Clark, Cline, Clackey... Culver, Jones, Charlie. Keep going right in, boys. You boys are going to love the army. -Elliot. -Elliot. Right. Hurry up in the back of the bus, all the way. Nothing in this world is going to stop me from coming back. -I love you, Selena. -I love you, Ted. Hurry up, hurry up. On the double. Let's go, boys! Cut them off. Hey, you! Snap it up. On the double, let's go. You know, you can write to her later on government stationary. Good-bye. Let's go! That first winter away from home, I took shape as an individual... and toughened. With spring came the promise that perhaps I'd found my place in life. But part of me would keepescaping. I'd find it running in memory back through Peyton Place's fields... orwandering down the streets, now emptied of young men. I've got a couple of funny ones. This is from Ted Carter. He says: "The food they serve here must have been warmed over from World War I"! -Oh, you remember Fred Cole. -Yes, I know him. He says: "Dear Hyde, I joined the Navy because I liked the way... they kept their ships: neat and tidy. But I never knew, until now, who kept them that way: me"! Yeah, the boys are certainly getting around these days. I've had a V-mail letter just the other day from Norman Page. -You remember Norman? -Oh, sure! He said something about... He dug a foxhole so deep it was just short of desertion. And then the seasons spun by so fast they've seen to become one. The war news was too big to grasp and too unhappy to understand. Selena wrote me often about Peyton Place. and I treasured her letters. She always tried to mention my mother... and tell me what people were saying to each other. Orwere not saying. Eventually,I broke the ice of my intentions... and subscribed to the "Peyton Place Times". Iwas hungry for names that meant something to me... but among them,unhappily,came the names of those gone forever. Betty... Rodney asked me to take care of you. -I don't need your help. -But I need yours. Rodney was a better boy for having married you. When I was 6 years-old, I was in love with Rodney. For years afterwards, I never even thought of anybody else. I was a kind of flashy girl, I know, but... Rodney liked flashy girls, so that's the way I was going to be. Funny thing is Rodney always loved me as much as I loved him. But you taught him appearance was worth more than feelings. I was wrong. Rodney discovered it. Let's... Let's keep of what's left of the family together. No, a little brighter one, please. Did you hear about Mr. Rossi. -No, what? -He's leaving town. -Leaving? -Well, not really leaving. They're trying to make him principal of a high school in Portland. -Are you sure? -Of course. I got it first hand. From Mr. Rossi? From Kathy, who got it from Betty, who got it from Miss Thornton. I suppose that's first hand. I guess we won't be able to keep him here. -This is nice. Can I try it on? -Sure, come on. -Merry Christmas. -Come in. Merry Christmas. It's been a long time and it is Christmas. You don't have to explain a gift. Thank you. Come in. -Let me take your coat. -I can only stay a moment. I have to deliver a few more things. -Can I fix you a drink? -No, thank you. Well, come in, sit down. Well, I really came to... ls it really true that you might go to Portland? I received the offer. It's a larger school and, naturally, more money. -So of course you'll take it. -I have a week to make up my mind. Sit down. -Michael. -Yes? You were right. I never thought I could say it but you were right. -About what? During the past months, I've been able to come to a few conclusions about myself. -And what were they? Well, Michael, I've lied for so long. I was everything you said, specially that night in the kitchen. I wanted you more than you could've never wanted me. -I had no right to say those things. -Yes, you did. -And I'm here to tell you the truth. -You don't owe me explanations. Allison didn't leave home because of Nellie's suicide... but because she hated me. She won't answer my letters or phone calls. Why not? The night you walked out, Marion Partridge called me. -She told me Allison and Norman... -I know about the phone calls. Well, I've always been so afraid of scandal. I believed Marion. I believed that phone call. And, without thinking, when Allison returned I told her some terrible things. -What things? Come on, Connie, what things? I'm Allison's mother, but I've never been married. Not to Angus MacKenzie, not to anyone. I went to New York and lived with a married man. After he died, I came back here and lied. And I've been lying ever since. You want the truth. And when you get it, you're just like everybody else. -They want anything but the truth! -Connie! Connie! I told you once that the offer was always open. I told you that I'm committing myself to you all the way... that I plan to worry about you and take care of you. I meant that. Oh, Michael! -How's that? -Fine! I'll get it. -Merry Christmas! -Aren't you going to invite me in? Not very friendly after practically breaking my back getting here. Hi, Joey! Say, there's a blizzard blowing out, a big one! You got a drink? I'm froze. You're nowhere near froze with all you've got in you already. I see the Navy hasn't managed to cure you of drinking. Cure me? Honey, the Navy started me in tricks you never heard of. Say! You sure made a lot of changes around here, ain't you? You bet we have. And, for a start, you can pick up your things and go. Ain't nobody going to tell me what I can't do in my own house. -This isn't your house anymore! -I don't care what you did. This is still my place. Don't forget it! Did you just come back here to make trouble? -You heard about mom, didn't you? -Yeah. Heard about her. Hey, Joey, here's a quarter. Run along now, huh? Come on, pick it up. -Pick it up, Joey! -Lucas, you leave him alone. Honey, don't start a fight. Me and you, we got to know each other a little too well for that. Say, I didn't think you could improve, but you sure have. Oh, it ain't like I was your real pa, you know? -You dirty filthy animal! -Still a little wildcat, ain't you? As we worship together this Easter morning... and more of we pray to Him who died and rose again... that we might have life and have it more abundantly... let us remember especially... those who have gone from this country and this town... to live and die in far old places for a like purpose. May they know His mercy, His comfort and His peace. May we uphold them with our prayers... encourage them with our letters... honor them with our love, and may our lives... not less than theirs, be dedicated to that same Lord... who alone can give to life a perfect freedom and a final peace. Let us pray. Our Father, who art in heaven Hallowed be Thy name Thy kingdom come Thy will be done On earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread And forgive us our debts As we forgive our debtors And lead us not into temptation But deliver us from evil For Thy is the kingdom And the power And the glory, forever Amen. -Thank you. Come again. Yes? -I'd like to see Miss Cross. Selena. Miss Cross, you have a father in the Navy, Lucas Augustus Cross? -My stepfather. -Have you seen him lately? Not for a year and a half. -What's wrong? -He went on leave, didn't come back. He's listed as a deserter. Miss Cross, are you sure you haven't seen him? I didn't even know for sure that he was in the Navy. He hasn't called you or written you? -No. -He disappeared from town... a year and a half ago, deserting his family. Well, it looks like he's running true to form. If you do hear from him get in touch with 1st. District Shore Patrol. I will. Oh, Selena, don't get upset. It's not your fault they can't find him. What is it? What's wrong, Selena? Mrs. MacKenzie, I've got to tell somebody. I can't keep it to myself any longer. -Every time I go out in that yard... -What are you talking about? Lucas didn't desert. How do you know? Because I killed him! I killed him Christmas Eve in the shack! -I don't believe it! -I did! I buried him in the sheep pen. Selena... you've got to call the State Police. -No. No, I can't! -You've got to! You should've done it long ago. -Oh, please, don't make me! -Listen to me, Selena. Listen. -One of us has got to call. -I can't! -No... -You must call them now. I can't... -Pardon me. -Allison! Norman! -Oh, gee! What a surprise! -Yeah! Come here. Hey, you guys. You know. -You look older and all grown up. -Well, the uniform helps. And all the decorations. -What have you been doing? -Living in New York. Have you been doing any writing? You've always loved to write. -Yes, I did some writing. -Did you get any of it published? No, I got a job working for a book publisher. He didn't by any chance publish those books with the... the plain wrappers, do you remember? Yes, you do. Remember? You were always afraid, and everything frightened you. I can't get over how wonderful you look. -Really, you look great. -Thanks. Though you never said good-bye to me when you left Peyton Place. -Never even said good-bye. -I'll never forget that Labor Day. -I won't either. -I see you have 2 Purple Hearts. -What brings you home? Vacation? -Haven't you heard about Selena? -No, what? -She killed her stepfather, Lucas. The trial starts in two days for murder. Lucas was always a bad Joe, but she always seemed to put up with him. Who ever knows what anyone's able to put up with in this world? Well, that's true. It sure took me a lot enough time... to know a little about myself, understand Peyton Place. -Cigarette? -Thanks. I'm going to go back and try to work things out with my mother. Maybe we'll both be happier. If not, maybe at least I've made the effort. You know? I always wondered why you enlisted. In the Paratroopers, I mean. I don't know. I guess I wanted to get knocked off or something. But as soon as I got away from my mother... I suddenly realized how wonderful life really was! And then I fought like a tiger to stay alive! I was running away from problems. You know what I mean. Yeah, I know. Something's bothering you, isn't it? Yeah... Can I help? No, you can't. Better not to talk about it. All right. -Hey, have you had dinner? -No. -Would you like dinner with me? -Okay! All right. Doc Swain? Evening, Selena. I'll be right with you. My wife loved these flower gardens. I try to keep them up for her. Ah, watch your feet. Are you going to tell them about me? -I'll have to, Selena. -Nobody in town must ever know. But, if I don't, you'll be risking your life. -I know that. -Well, then, why? -Because of Ted. -What are you afraid of? What he will think? He loves you. It would ruin his life marry to a girl who... Doc, you know not a respectable person in town would accept him. Respectable! What kind of respectability are you talking about? The people with enough money to hire him as a lawyer. Don't you understand? We're talking about your whole life! Prison can be a kind of dying! Losing Ted would be a worse kind of dying. -Besides, you mustn't get involved. -Now, never mind about me. Promise me you won't tell them. Promise me, please, promise! All right, Selena. I'll promise you. Selena, you don't seem to realized. You face a possible life sentence! -I need much more to work with. -There is no more. Lucas was drunk, brutal. When he tried to beat me, I killed him. Killing in seIf-defense is understandable... but you hid the body and acted like a criminal. -I know. -But she was fighting for her life! The State is sending a prosecutor for one purpose: to convict Selena. I've seen him work. He's competent, relentless as the law itself. Yes, tell her to come in. There must be something you haven't told me. He tried to kill me, and I killed him first. But you hid the body! Why? Come in, Allison. Allison! I was never happier to see anyone in my life. Are you all right? -Hi, Ted. -Hi, Allison. Mr. Partridge, I can testify about Lucas. I saw him beat her. It will help, believe me. We appreciate you coming for the trial. -You're going to get her off? -We're going to do the best we can. But the jury decides on the one thing: evidence. Now, it adds up to this: we have a murder and a defense that's too simple to be good. It's open to attack from many sides. Selena, have you told me the whole story? I'm sorry! There's no more to tell. Yeah, I'll take the dress shop before, okay? Hello, Allison. -You look well. -With the drink in my hand? Would you care for something? I moved hoping I'd be left alone. -You haven't learned, have you? -Oh, yes, I have, mother. I learned to smoke and drink. And go to bed when I want to. And when to kiss whenever the impulse gets over me. Allison, we all make mistakes. But if we face them, truthfully, they can be overcome. Can we overcome the fact of my birth? That I'm illegitimate? I think so. With love. Thank you. And good-bye, mother. As soon as this trial's over, I'll take the 1st. train out of here. Good-bye, mother. Court will come to order. Everybody rise. Be seated, please. The recess in the trial of the State versus Selena Cross is over. Gentlemen, you may proceed. Prosecution wishes to call Joseph Cross to stand. -Joey... -I told you my name was Joseph. Joseph... this morning, just before recess... we were talking about lying and telling the truth. Joseph, have you ever told a lie? -Yes, sir. -Big ones or little ones? Some little ones and some medium ones. You'd lie to save your sister from prison, wouldn't you? -Yes, sir. -A big lie? -The biggest lie you ever heard. -I object! Sustained. Now, Joseph, we heard your testimony this morning. -Was it true? -It was all true. And you claim that your sister killed your stepfather... because he grabbed her. He was a strong man. We were both afraid. If Lucas was as strong as you and everybody else has said... how could your sister possibly overpower him? She was madder than he was and scareder. Lucas was 195 lbs... your sister, 11O lbs. Did she sneak up behind him... and hit him with that piece of firewood when he wasn't looking? No, sir. Were you watching every second? Well, I might 've looked away once or twice. Did you see Selena hit him the first blow? I don't know. is there any doubt in your mind as to how that 1st blow was struck? I... I don't know. It all happened so fast. Joseph... you said that you told your sister to bury your stepfather. -That's right. She didn't want to. -I see. And how old were you when you told her, when she did what you wanted? About 8. In other words... a19 year-old girl didn't know what to do with the body... until an 8 year-old boy told her. -Yes, sir. -I have no further questions. No questions. You may step down, Joseph. I wish to recall Selena Cross to the stand. Miss Cross, yesterday you told the jury that your stepfather... disappeared from home a year and a half before you killed him. Do you have any idea why he left? I'm not sure. I'd only be guessing. You hesitated. Why? I don't know. You know what he did during that year and a half? He was in the Navy, he said. Do you imply that he came home from the war, from combat duty just to beat you up? -We object, your Honor! The defendant has implied no such thing. -Sustained. -Did your stepfather... own the house you live in? -My brother and I fixed it up. -Answer the question, please. -It wasn't a house when... -Please, answer the question. Yes. But it was a dirty shack, and nothing else! But you had the freedom to come and go, and... invite boys in... and answer to no one while Lucas was gone, didn't you? Yes, I had the freedom, but I never did! When you thought he was going to change all that, did you kill him? No! Lucas was drunk and tried to beat me! The coroner testified... that Lucas was unconscious from the first or second blow... so you'd say you'd end the beating then, but you didn't stop. Why? I don't know. You kept beating him until you crushed life out of him. Why? I don't know! I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop. When you finally killed him, why didn't you call the police? I wanted to, but I was afraid. You hadn't committed any crime, defending yourself. What was there to fear from the police? I don't know. I was just afraid. You had nothing to fear. Until you hid Lucas' body, isn't that right? But the moment you buried your stepfather's body you had a great deal to fear. -That's right. But you buried him! You must have had a reason... a powerful reason! And don't tell it was simply because you were afraid. -I was! -Are you sure? -That is the only reason! -Fear is panic. And clearly burying the remains of a man you just murdered requires cold, careful thought! -Objection! -You knew what you were doing! -I didn't! I didn't! He's not cross-examining, but harassing the witness. Objection sustained. I withdraw the question. I have nothing further. Miss Cross... at all times during the quarrel that led to the death of Lucas Cross were you in fear of bodily harm? -Yes, I was. I have no further questions. You may step down. I wish to call Miss Allison MacKenzie to stand. Raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth... the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help you God? -Yes. -Be seated. -State your name, please. -Allison MacKenzie. Miss MacKenzie, how long have you known Selena Cross? Ever since I was a child. We went all through school together. Miss Cross is my best friend. Ms. MacKenzie, you've testified that when you saw Lucas beating Selena... you thought that your presence prevented things from going further. -I know it did. -You don't know, you assume. Well, he was embarrassed to find me watching. How many times did Lucas hit Selena? -Once. -Once? Now, did he hit her with his fist or a weapon? -Well, it was kind of a slap. -A slap? Have you ever been slapped, Miss Mackenzie? -Yes. -By a stranger? -No. -By a member of the family? -Do I have to answer this? -I'm sorry, but you do. By my mother. As hard a blow as Selena Cross' stepfather gave her? -No. -How could you tell? I don't think so. You don't really know what happened inside that house, do you? -Yes, I do know. -First, you talk about a beating... and then we find out all you're discussing is a single blow. Would you say that the arguments in the Lucas Cross house... were more or less violent than any other family arguments? -Objection! -What's the purpose of that question? The witness must define her terms if the jury and this court... are to clearly understand what she means. A beating becomes one blow, a blow becomes a slap? Perhaps the slap will become something else. Objection overruled. -I have no further questions. -No questions, your Honor. You may step down. The prosecution would like to call Mrs. Constance MacKenzie. Raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth... the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help you God? -I do. -Be seated. -State your name, please. -Constance MacKenzie. Mrs. MacKenzie, I understand you've known the defendant a long time. Yes, since she was a baby. Did Selena ever complained that her stepfather had beaten her... at any time? -What? -Did Selena ever complained... Oh, no. No. Did you ever see any marks on her, injuries? No. You knew the defendant 's mother well, did you not? Nellie worked for me as a house maid. Did she ever mentioned Lucas' brutality or... described any beating he had ministered? No, she said he was drunk and and lazy, and he deserted her... -Mrs. Mackenzie... She committed suicide over the kind of life Lucas brought them to. We're not concerned here over Mrs. Cross' suicide. But I don't see why not. There was something terribly wrong in the Cross family life. -Mrs. Mackenzie, if you please... -Something wrong when a woman... had to raise her daughter up almost alone and trying to help her, and... -Mrs. MacKenzie... -...not being able to help. -Mrs. MacKenzie... -Not being able to give... Mrs. MacKenzie, I'm aware of your deep concern over the suicide... but that's not the point at issue. Did your daughter ever tell you she had seen Lucas beating Selena? No. Don't you think that if she had seen such a shocking incident... she would've mentioned it to you? -I don't know. -Well, wouldn't she? Well... Mrs. MacKenzie, didn't your daughter ever bring home her problems? How many times do I have to answer your questions? Until we find out the truth. The truth is... my daughter did bring her troubles home... and I wouldn't understand. Well, if she did bring her problems home, did she ever... I wouldn't understand! The court will adjourn for a short recess. Come in. -What have I done to Selena? -You had no choice. But I did have a choice. Maybe the wrong one, but... -I'll never forgive myself. -You blame yourself too much. You did what you morally had to do. Here. -Charlie, can I speak with you? -Surely. The court will come to order. Remain seated, please! Has the prosecution completed its questioning of Mrs. MacKenzie? Yes. The prosecution rests. No more questions. You may step down. We call Dr. Matthew Swain to the stand as a witness for the defense. Raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth... the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help you God? -I do. -Be seated. -State your name, please. -Dr. Matthew Swain. Dr. Swain, do you know of any act of force or violence... which Lucas Cross perpetrated against the defendant? I certainly do. We've spent too much time torturing a girl who's emotionally unable... to speak for herself. Lucas Cross was a drunken, and a wife beater... and a child abuser! I object! "Child abuser" is an exaggerated and inflammatory word. When I say "child abuser", I mean it in the worst way possible! I object, your Honor. The deceased is not on trial. Lucas Cross' character as to force and violence is on trial here. You may continue, Dr. Swain. The night that Lucas Cross left town... I performed what I recorded as an appendectomy on Selena Cross. It was not an appendectomy. I falsified my records. I assisted her in a miscarriage. A miscarriage of Lucas Cross' baby. I said that it was Lucas Cross' baby that Selena Cross carried. I object to admitting any such statement as evidence! On what grounds do you base your objection? It's the unsupported conclusion of the witness. -Except that it is true. -Can you testify of knowledge? -I can! -Objection overruled. Continue. I have here a complete admission of guilt... signed by Lucas Cross. Will the attorneys please approach the bench? I offer Lucas Cross' confession in evidence, your Honor. I object, your Honor. The confession of a person who's neither a witness nor a party... is totally inadmissible. The prosecution may have a sound point. But I'll reserve my ruling until I've heard that witness testimony. And, if I find it inadmissible, I'll order it stricken. Dr. Swain's whole testimony stricken from the record, your Honor. I'll rule on that when I've heard it. You will complete your statement, Dr. Swain. I'm sure the prosecutor will see that the State investigate my records. And perhaps I could lose the privilege of practicing Medicine. And it's time that someone spoke up and paid whatever price is asked... for the privilege of speaking. Selena killed Lucas out of fear. Fear of being forced to submit to him again. And then she hid her crime... for fear of how we'd react to her being assaulted by her stepfather. She couldn't trust us with the truth. Selena had no one to go to but me. She only came to me because she had to, for medical reasons. She swore me to secrecy. Now, I'm violating that secrecy for a bigger purpose. We're all prisoners of each other's gossip. Killed by each other's whispers, and it's time it stopped. Our best young leave as soon as they learn the price of a bus ticket. They contribute the best of their characters to other communities... because they're stifled in Peyton Place. -We're not interested in Dr... -Matthew Swain has come forward... at considerable risk to himself, and I intend to hear him through... without any more interruptions. I will rule on your objection when he's finished. You continue, Dr. Swain. We're a small town, but we're a prosperous one... and yet we allow tar-paper shacks to stand! We have half a dozen churches, which most of you attend... and then don't practice the word they preach... once you walk down the steps. We have a fine school, but you take it for granted. We have a town's paper with a most intelligent editorial page... which you use for wrapping garbage. It's time you people woke up. Perhaps today you will, because there's something much bigger... than the tragedy of Selena Cross on trial here: our indifference... our failure as a community to watch over one another... to know who needs help and to give it! Selena's been living in a prison of her own, one we helped to build. I have nothing more to say, your Honor. The objection of the prosecution is not sustained. The jury may consider this statement as evidence. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have you reached a verdict? -We have, your Honor. -The foreman will read the verdict. We find the defendant not guilty. Court is adjourned. Come on, Joey. You come home with me. Selena, would you like to go now? Good going, Doc! Selena, I'm so very happy for you. Selena, I'm so happy for you. Mother? Come on, Norman! We finally discovered that season of love... it is only found in someone else's heart. Right now,someone you know is looking everywhere for it. And it's in you. Captions: Videolar My name is Allison MacKenzie. Where I was born, time was told not by the clock or the calendar but by the seasons. Summer was carefree contentment. Autumn was that bittersweet time of regret for moments that had ended and things that were yet undone. And then winter fell with a cold mantle of caution and chill. It nipped our noses and our arrogance and made use move closer to the warm stoves of memory and desire. Spring was promise. But there was a fifth season of love and only the wise or the lucky ones knew where to find it. Hey, mister, which way to Peyton Place? Go up this road, about two miles. You'll come right to the town. Thanks. Lucas stole my money. He drinks everything in sight. I saved for a year and a half for a course. Don't go, Paul. You was my firstborn... . - Hitting everyone in his way. Even you. - Only when he's drinking. That's been every night. Why did you marry him? When your real pa died, you and Selena and Joey had to have a father. Lucas tries hard to be a good man. - Goodbye, Ma. - Paul. Selena, don't you ask me to stay. My babysitting money. I wish there was more. Paul. Paul, I'll do extra work. I'll find a job and get the money back. Don't leave. I'm sorry we got into a fight. It won't happen again. I give you my word. Paul, Paul! He'll come back. You wait and see, he'll come back. Nellie I'm going to try hard not to drink anymore. Selena I'm gonna try harder than I ever tried anything. - Morning. - Good morning. May I have fried eggs and a cup of coffee, please? - All right. - Do you have a washroom where I can clean up? - First door. Oh, yeah. Thank you. - What you selling? - Nothing. Sorry, I thought you might be a traveling man. No, I came here to get a job. I should have known. I hear Harrington Woolen Mills got some government contracts for military uniform cloth. A lot of people will move here. Which way is it to Harrington Mills? Follow Elm Street to the river then look up to your right. You'll hate it. - Morning, Mrs. MacKenzie. - Morning, Nellie. Paul left this morning. - Left for where? - Don't know. Says he wants to leave town and make something of himself. Instead of working all the time at the mill. - He wants to see the world. - Who is? Paul. He left town this morning. Allison, must you play records so early? Good breakfast music. Digest your juice with culture. I'm glad about Paul, Nellie. How did Selena take it? She's glad too. But she ain't a mother. Neither are you. I'd like to see the world. Have a romance in Venice. Meet a tall stranger in Hong Kong. - Allison, don't eat so fast. - Have to. Senior class is giving a gift to Ms. Thornton. I wrote a speech that Rodney Harrington's going to read. - Badly, I'm sure. - What's going on? A meeting to appoint a new principal. - How do you know it'll be Ms. Thornton? - Nobody else deserves it. I'll drop by the store after school. Goodbye, Dad. I wish you'd stop that ridiculous performance every day. What? Saying goodbye or hello to my father? Saying it to a photograph. I suppose it's silly, but it makes me feel that he's here. You scarcely knew him. It's not my fault he died when I was two. I can't remember him, I admit, but I miss him. You mean, you miss a father. Yes, Mother. Wouldn't it be nice if you had men friends, or dates, or even marry again? Stop talking about fathers, husbands and marriage. You miss him more than I ever realized. I'm sorry, Mother. I'll be late. Forgot the speech. - Goodbye, Mom. - Bye. - Good morning, Ms. Lancie. - Good Morning, Allison. Hi, David. - Good morning, Mr. Herman. - Morning, Miss Allison. Go on home, Buffy. - Hi, Dr. Swain. - Morning, Allison. - Good morning, girls. - Morning, doctor. - Good Morning, Mr. Cross. - Morning. Thank you, Norman. - Everything's gone wrong this morning. - Lf you didn't run all the time... . Ted's bringing the gift. Rodney. Here's the speech. - I'll never memorize this. - Then just read it. She's coming! Miss Thornton's coming! Hey. Hey. "The job of principal of Peyton Place High School. " Quiet. Ms. Thornton, the senior class has asked me to say a few words and on behalf of them, to present this gift to you. "Our names are inscribed inside the cover of that dictionary. Because there are so many words to express what we feel for you and your long services to the school we decided to give you all the words in the language. We're losing you, but to something bigger and more important: The job of principal of Peyton Place High School. So you'll know we'll never forget you can always turn to the words love, friendship and remembrance and know that we're always thinking them. " This is the loveliest thing that ever happened to me. I... . There's another word in this book. Gratitude. Now, let's talk about graduation. I would like a report from the president of the class, Ted Carter. Ms. Thornton, I've arranged for all the necessary committees and if they all do their jobs well, I'm sure we'll have a fine graduation. Vice president, Selena Cross. The programs will be printed in a couple of weeks and I've rented caps and gowns at $2.50 apiece. And we're gonna have a tea and a reception on the lawn afterwards. Editor of the yearbook, Allison MacKenzie. The copy's all done. But the engraver's going mad waiting for all the pictures. Whoever doesn't have his picture in by Wednesday won't be in the yearbook. Senior dance, Betty Anderson. Everybody has to help with the decorations. The tickets are printed and will go on sale a week before. I'm supposed to announce there's to be no necking in the parking lot. Nor anywhere else, for that matter. Harrington, Elsie Thornton has earned the right to be principal. She's given her life to this town. At least we can recognize it. As head of this school board, it's my opinion she should be retired. I'm afraid I can't quite concur with you. I agree with Doc Swain. You would. Ms. Thornton's practically senile. A hypochondriac, uses sleeping pills. You want a drug addict for a principal? Marion, it seems to me that I write a lot of prescriptions for you. As far as Ms. Thornton being senile, she's of your generation. She is not. I'm 36. You're 45. My father delivered you the year they built the courthouse, 1896. We need someone young. This fellow who's coming is well recommended. And I can get him at the right price. Mr. Harrington, he's outside. He can't do us much good out there, Ms. Colton. Send him in. - Would you come in, Mr. Rossi? - Yes. Thank you. - Good morning. - I'm Leslie Harrington. This is the school board. Mr. And Mrs. Partridge. He's a lawyer. Dr. Swain. Seth Bushwell. He's editor of the Peyton Place Times. Mr. Rossi, here's our situation. We're prepared to offer the job as principal to a qualified man with a minimum guaranteed five-year contract. Mr. Rossi is a graduate of Penn State, summa cum laude. He holds a master's degree in English and literature. He was an outstanding athlete. He's single. Personally, now that I've seen him, I like what I see. - Did I miss anything? - I've been working in construction. If you're a teacher, why were you working there? I couldn't live on the salary of a teacher. This job starts at 3000 a year. Then we're all wasting our time. That's only $5 a week more than I was making as a teacher. But this offers you security. A long-term contract. Guaranteed poverty is not security. I want 5000 a year and a raise of 500 in the second year. - We can't do it. - You own this mill. How much do you pay a foreman, $200 a week? This is business. These men manufacture a product that makes money. Be practical and face realities. To people like you, education is a necessary evil. You can't see it, so it's worth nothing. Let me tell you this, the things we can't see are the most important things on this earth. They're called ideas. Thank you for the interview. If we offer you 5000, would you coach the basketball and football team? No, I would not. If you can't pay the principal of your school a decent salary you have no right to be running a school. Mr. Rossi. Leslie, I'm afraid you're fighting a losing battle. Now, Mr. Rossi, frankly... . In other words, the life history of the race repeats itself in the individual. - A notice from the school board. - Thank you. "Effective immediately the school board of Peyton Place is happy to announce the appointment of a new school principal: Mr. Michael Rossi. " Who? "We trust that you will show him the same loyalty and devotion you displayed to the late Mr. Firth. " Class dismissed. I'm sorry, Ms. Thornton. I don't know how they could do such a thing. You deserve to be principal. Allison, a person doesn't always get what she deserves. Remember it. If there's anything in life you want, go and get it. Don't wait for anybody to give it to you. Now, I have some work to do. See you later, Al. - Here we are. - Good-looking school, doc. That must be the new principal, you know? They really give it to you, didn't they? Like everybody else, they really give it to you. Have you been drinking? Work yourself to death, then they bring in an outsider to pick the plum. You have been drinking. I know you keep a bottle in the basement, but I won't have you bring it into the classroom, ever. Don't forget. It'd do your kids good to learn how to handle liquor instead of algebra. - You're talking like a fool. - Oh, be I. I sat in this classroom four years. I sat right here. Everything important was learned somewheres else. You never applied yourself. If you had, you might've learned something in school. Tell my wife, a cleaning woman. - Tell me, a janitor, cleaning toilets. - Stop it! - Tell every mill worker behind on his bills. - I said, stop it. If you had applied yourself, you might have learned how to live intelligently. There ain't nobody in this here town living intelligently. Nobody. - I don't believe that. - All right. Name me one important person graduated from this here school. Name one. You can't. I'm gonna tell you something, Ms. Thornton something you can teach your class someday. The minute they walk out that door, they walk into a dog-eat-dog world. It's crawl in front of the big dogs if you want to eat, get a job. I won't do it. I won't do it! That's why I'm washing windows, scrubbing walls, emptying ashes. I never had nothing I ever wanted. Shakespeare did me no more good than Washington did crossing the Delaware. You didn't help yourself. Elsie, I'd like to have you meet Mike Rossi. Ms. Thornton. - Hello, Ms. Thornton. - Mr. Rossi. - Welcome to Peyton Place. - Thank you. This is our utility man, Lucas Cross. - Hello, Lucas. - My hand's too dirty. I'll start on another room. Does he always drink? He's disappointed for me. Loyalty is always more passionate than reason. I guess that's why I came to see you first. There was sentiment for making you principal. Please don't feel uncomfortable, Mr. Rossi. My time came too late. - I hope we can work together. - Of course we can. I suppose you have a lot of new, progressive ideas. No, not really. I'm rather old-fashioned, as a matter of fact. I have just two rules: First, I want this school to teach the truth as far as we know it. I don't want any teacher making a fairy tale out of life. It's hard enough without being unequipped to meet it. That's a good rule. Shall we sit down? And rule two teach a minimum of facts and maximum of ideas. Our main job is to teach children how to think, not just to memorize. If war comes for us these kids shouldn't fight just for historical dates but for the ideals behind them. I like your rules, Mr. Rossi. Peyton Place is very fortunate. Thank you, Ms. Thornton. Allison, I don't know what Betty's buying, but tell her to hurry. Okay. Mother, Ms. Thornton didn't get the job. I know. Betty and Margie told me. They're in the back. After giving her the gift and the speech, it was embarrassing for her. She'll get over it. I'm glad I'm graduating. I don't want to know the new principal. - Mrs. MacKenzie, about graduation... . - What about it, sweetie? Mother needs a new dress for the exercises. Could I make some arrangement to buy her one? After I graduate I'll get a job and I could pay you back. You'll be needing a new dress yourself. I can get by. Look, with Easter and graduation coming on, I'll be needing some help. Would you like to work afternoons and Saturdays? - I'd love to! - Fine. - Then I could buy two dresses. - Wholesale. No girl ever had two better friends than you and Allison. When you see how hard Mother makes you work, you won't say that. - Rodney's outside. - Good, let him wait. You'll be arrested for wearing that. No, just picked up. Mother says women should be mysterious. - Do you think the dress is too old? - No, you're too young. Won't people think you're a little fast? According to my philosophy, what other people think will not pay the rent. If you're accused of being fast, might as well run. Get the good things first. Just remember, men can see much better than they can think. Believe me, a low-cut neckline does more for a girl's future than the entire Britannica encyclopedia. - Allison, could you help me a moment? - Sure. - Be right back. - Do you think Rod will like it? When you have your 18th birthday party I don't want you to invite Betty Anderson. I might as well not have a party. If I can't invite Betty, Rodney won't come. I wouldn't mind that. If Rodney won't come, his friends won't. Then nobody will accept. I can't understand why you want to be friends with Betty. I don't like the way she talks about men and sex. It appears the only perfect individual is you. We've had 17 dull birthday parties alone. Could you let me have one for myself, please? Allison, what about Betty? Hi, Norman. Oh, hi, Allison. What's the matter? Same old thing. Grownups who act like children. Hey, could I walk home with you? No. You'd get home late. You mean, your mother wouldn't like it. - Well... . - Come on, Norman. Come on. Spend the afternoon in the library again? Yeah. Isn't it awfully dull going there every day? Yeah. Then why do you do it? I like books. Good place to do my homework. Besides, where else could I go but home? Go down to the water. Sit in the square. Take a walk in the woods. I can't. You know, that was a nice speech you wrote for Mrs. Thornton. I'm sorry I did it now. Why didn't you read it yourself instead of Rodney Harrington? Because I was afraid I'd cry. Still might cry every time I think of Ms. Thornton not getting that job. You know, you just might turn out to be a great writer. Norman, I hope so. You know, every time I touch a book or read a story or even when I just open the dictionary something inside of me goes thump and my heart starts pounding, and my stomach. You know, it's how people are supposed to feel when they fall in love. Of course, I never have. I wish I could be so sure of what I wanted to do. You must have some idea. No. No, I've thought of everything, but nothing seems to fit me. Maybe I'll be unique and retire at the age of 18. Norman, it's about time you got home. Hello, Ms. Page. - Goodbye, Norman. - Wait just a minute, will you? - But you... - I don't want to go in just yet. Norman, what an awful thing, hating to go home. Come on in here. Well, thanks for walking with me. I enjoyed it, really. Goodbye. Goodbye. - May I walk on it, Nellie? - Sure, it's dry by now. - Your mother wants you to call her. - I really don't feel like it. You two have a fight again? Same fight, different round. - Nellie? - Yeah. You've been both a daughter and a mother. Which one is worse? - Being a mother. - Why? You find yourself doing the same things you hated your own mother and father doing. That's very interesting. Doesn't somebody get intelligent and realize children must grow up their own way? The mind's nothing to do with it. It's your feelings. Kids get born and you just worry about them and you hope for them. Well, I gotta get going. - Good night, Nellie. - Good night, Allison. Hello? Oh, hello, Mother. I've been thinking it over. You can invite anyone you want to your party. Oh, Mother, thank you. Thank you very much. I'll be home in a little while. Bye. 2676J, please. Hey, watch where you're going there, buddy, will you? - Thanks much. - Thank you. - I want it. - You don't need any. I want some! - Would you like a sandwich, Norman? - No, thank you. Excuse me. Excuse me. - Happy birthday! - Happy birthday! - How are you? - How are you? - Betty and Rodney. - Where's Ted Carter? Right here. Let's stop that corny music and do some serious dancing. - Those are good records. - These are new ones. - I brought some mistletoe. - Mistletoe? - Hang it high, will you? - Only if I can kiss Betty. Tonight, nobody is safe from me. - Hey, Christmas is eight months away. - I do my Christmas kissing early. - Hey! - Where's the punch? - It's over there. - Oh, good. - Add the old family formula. - Now you're talking, Rod. My mother wouldn't want me to... - Don't tell me she's here. - No, she's at the movies. Put the booze in the bowl. That's the one thing she made me promise. You want to have a party or not? - You can't fight city hall. - Put the liquor in. Forget it. I know 10 other ways to make a party successful. Now, first, we gotta make the atmosphere a little more intimate. Rodney, aren't you the one. - Evening. - Good evening. Hello, doc. Hi, Connie. - Just coffee, please. - Right. Who's that, doc? That's Mrs. MacKenzie. She runs a dress shop. She has a daughter in the senior class, Allison. Beautiful woman. She's a widow. Born here, but she had ambitions, and left. Married in New York to some ad genius. When he died, she came back here. - I'd like to meet her. - Wouldn't do you no good. Bring your coffee. Connie, you haven't met Mr. Rossi, the new school principal. - How do you do? - Hello. I hear about you every day from my daughter. You've been working kind of late? No, I've been to the movies. Allison's giving a party. What does she plan to do after graduation? She'd like to be a writer. I'd like her in college. It's too bad she has no brothers and sisters. - Why do you say that? - Just that I'm against only-child families. Only children receive all the attention of the parents. - Good and bad. - I don't think Allison turned out badly. She hasn't turned out yet. Her life is just beginning. It's too late to give her any brothers and sisters. In your case, I'd say it wasn't. If I didn't like you so much, Matt... . No use... Now, Connie, don't you go proposing to me. - For you, doc. - Excuse me. Would you like a cigarette? - Swain speaking. - Thank you. I'll be right over. Speak of babies and they appear. Mrs. Runkle's in labor. I'll see you later. Thanks, doc. - Bye. - Bye. Doc Swain's always talking about babies. - They're his stock-in-trade. - Not a bad subject. We teach schoolchildren English and math and history, and yet we neglect what gives them the most trouble in life. You don't recommend classes in baby-making? Only in theory. I intend to initiate a sex-education course in the school. - Isn't that a function of the home? - You'd think. And yet not one parent in 10 does it. No, sex is taboo in the home. And it should be in the schools. Where would they learn it, in parked cars? They'll learn it when they marry. Good night, Mr. Rossi. Doc Swain offers a special price for frostbites. - Come on, Allison. - Rodney. Allison! This was supposed to be a birthday party. Just playing "photography": Turn off the lights, see what develops. Don't be fresh. Just leave immediately. - All of you! - I just caught her under the mistletoe. Will you please leave? Happy birthday, Allison. Come on, Betty. I'm sorry. Thanks anyway. Thanks, Allison. Come out here. Allison, I said come out here. I knew this would happen if you invited Betty. - Wasn't her fault. - And you making love... We were kissing, one kiss, not making love. The house in darkness, and couples necking all over. I know, but everyone wanted to dance in the dark. And I couldn't very well... . Mother, at every party in this town, they turn out the lights. I don't want you to be like everybody. I want you to rise above Peyton Place. It's my home, my town. Why should I wanna rise above it? Because its standards are low. Its people spend their time trying to drag each other down. I don't want to be perfect. I don't want to live in a test tube. I just want to be me, and have some fun, and have some friends. I'd rather be liked than be perfect. By liked, you mean being pawed by an animal with one thing on his mind. Don't make it sound like that. Everything has to be learned, even kissing. And sex? Is that what you're going to practice at your next party? You keep trying to accuse me of things I'm not even thinking about. I don't want you to get a reputation for a half-hour's carelessness. I already have one. The wrong kind. I want you to fall in love and at the proper time, to marry a man who respects you. I want you to have a good name. I want... You want! You want! You want! Is that all you can say? Well, if any man would ask me, I'd run away and become his mistress. Don't you ever let me hear you say a thing like that again! I don't know why I said it. I don't know why I said it. Allison. Hello, Trudy. - Hello, Allison. - Hello, Joey. - Selena'll be out in a couple minutes. - Thank you. Come on in back. I got a new baby lamb. Oh, I'd love to see it. Oh, it's darling. I didn't show you my lizard. I keep him in a box right there. I got some holes punched in it, just so he can breathe. His name is Pocahontas. Used to be, a man didn't have to cook his own meals in his own house. Times have changed. Ma's working, and I'm late for church. The way you parade yourself up and down, taking off your clothes... - I don't parade up and down. - You do! - You just like to show yourself off. - I don't like to show off! Just because we don't live in a palace, doesn't mean we have to act like pigs. - We've got a trash can, remember? - Well, well, well. If you don't pick it up, somebody else has to. And it wouldn't harm you to take the garbage out and bury it. Or do you like living like a pig? What do you think you are, always giving orders? Take your hands off of me! Don't you touch her. Don't you touch her anymore! Just a little family fracas. Guess my little girl's getting too big to spank. It was my fault, Allison. I made him mad. Every family has fights. They're forgotten in an hour. Come on. Hey, Norman, you know what? There's a place I know that I'd like to show you, that no one knows about. Not even you. It's my secret place. I know every spot within three miles of Peyton Place. Not this one. Come on. You were right. I never knew this place was here. I don't think anybody does but me. And maybe God. And now you. It's beautiful. I've just decided. This is the last time I'm ever going to come here. Why? Oh, I'm gonna leave it for somebody else to find. Maybe your children will discover it. I'm never going to marry. I'm just going to have lovers. Oh, Allison. What's wrong with that? No children to grow up unhappy, nobody gets hurt except maybe me. That's the worst kind of emotional maladjustment. Who said so? - A book I read. - What book? I sent for a book. It was $ 1.98, in a plain wrapper. - A plain wrapper? - Yeah, a plain wrap... And, well, it was about marriage and sex. I had it sent to me at the post office. It took me two weeks to get up the courage to go pick it up. Look... . I know it sounds funny, but it was the only way I could find out anything. Norman, you know what? I sent for a book just like that in the same plain wrapper general delivery. - No, really? The same one? And I read every word of it, and I think most of it's mid-Victorian nonsense. Maybe yours was better. Hey, want to trade books? No. I'd be too embarrassed. That's your whole trouble, Norman. Everything embarrasses you. Everything frightens you. I know. And I'm sorry we started talking about all this. Hey, Norman, look... . It's about time you learned that girls want to do the same things as boys. And they have the right to know how. I mean, I think we should help each other. - Are you suggesting that...? - Norman, don't get me wrong. All I want is some normal, intelligent discussion and maybe some normal affection between a boy and a girl, nothing more. Everybody in this town hides behind plain wrappers. You're so afraid. You've even been afraid to ask me to the graduation dance. Allison, I want... . Well, see, I'm just not asking anybody. - I'll be there, but I can't ask you. - Why not? Well, my mother. Your mother. Well, she wouldn't actually forbid it. It's just that she gets jealous of anybody at all that I spend my time with. You don't know her. You don't have to live with her. But she's my mother. There's nothing I can do about that. You don't have to tell me any more, Norman. Please, Allison, I've gotta tell somebody. She won't let me have friends. She... . She makes me tell her 10 times a day how much I love her. She's afraid she'll die alone in a poorhouse. And marriage... . Marriage, she says, is misery. And a woman can only cause me trouble. Oh, Norman, I can't believe it. Nobody would. Now maybe you know why I hate to go home and why I live in the library and why I can't dance, or kiss girls, or look anybody in the eye. You see, I'm a sissy and a coward. No, you're not, Norman. No one around town stopped to think and give you a chance. You shouldn't be afraid of girls. I know, but I am, and I don't know what I can do about it. - I know what you can do. - What? You can start with me. I'll prove everything your mother ever said was wrong. Would you kiss me, Norman? - I don't think I can. - Yes, you could. Kiss me. I don't know why I should act so experienced. It was only my second kiss this year. It wasn't as good as Rodney's, was it? No. Hello, I guess I should've phoned but I was in the neighborhood... - That's all right. I have a message for Allison. Is she home? No, she and Selena have just gone over to Kathy Ellsworth's house. That gives me a good excuse to talk to you. - May I come in? - Oh, of course. - You have a lovely house. - Thank you. Please come in. This is a very comfortable room. Good books, pictures. My own hotel room is a bit basic. I have a mirror for shaving, a basin for washing and a closet to hang my coat. You ought to find a house. I'm trying to. In the meantime, I have my hotel room, which I clear out of right after dinner. You said you had something you wanted to tell me. I was telling you something, but you weren't listening. Your husband? He died when Allison was 2. And Allison. - A few years ago. - She's grown a bit since then. I came to tell you that Allison has been named valedictorian. Wonderful. She'll be terribly pleased, and so am I. She's a fine girl, bright and sensitive. You should be very proud of her. Yes, I am. Well, that's what I came about. Good night, Mrs. MacKenzie. You are lonely here, aren't you? It's not the worst thing that can happen to you. - Isn't it? - You can learn to live by yourself. You can get used to it. Maybe. But that doesn't make it the best way to live. The best way? What would that be? People meeting, talking. Well, in Peyton Place, two people talking is a conspiracy. A meeting is an assignation, and getting to know one another is a scandal. I think you're hard on the town and hard on yourself. No, I'm quite all right the way I am. What were you gonna do tonight? Wash your hair? Read a book? Go to the movies alone? - Well, it makes time pass. - Time shouldn't just pass. It should be used. I wouldn't know where to begin. Begin at the beginning, begin by getting out. We need another chaperon for the dance. Why don't you help us out? Will you come? I think I'd like that. Fine. Good night, and thanks. - Good night. - Good night. - Betty Anderson's father stopped me. - What did he want? He asked when you'll marry Betty, before or during college. - I hadn't exactly thought of marrying her. - I wouldn't hear of it if you wanted to. Anderson's a good foreman, but Betty is something else. - Yeah, I agree. - Then stop seeing her. I just can't stop seeing her. I invited her to the graduation dance. - Uninvite her. - Now, Dad, I can't do that. You're gonna. Do you realize what it'd mean if you married the local tramp? When you marry, you'll marry someone on your own level. Call and tell her it's off. - Are you trying to kill me? - Call her. - Please, Dad. - Go on, call her! 1042W, please. I can understand you wanting to see this girl, but not in public. You know what I mean. Nobody's fighting you. I'll be as big a Harrington as you are. I'll marry a cold fish, then cheat the rest of my life. An apple doesn't fall far from the tree. But the graduation dance is important. You want a new car, don't you? Betty? Hello, Betty. This is Rodney. Look, Betty, this is so terrible, I don't know where to begin. Tell her. Betty, the graduation dance is off. She hung up. What a fine graduation. - I know someone you can take. - Who? Allison MacKenzie. Her mother kicked me out of the house for kissing her. I'll talk to her mother. Allison's a girl of quality. Quality's a very good thing in woolen cloth, but it's very dull on a big date. I didn't know you were such a good dancer, Allison. - Thank you. - Yeah, sure. - Hi, Rod. - Hi there, Allison. Hey, Rodney, looking for someone? After the dance, shall we go to Rockland? Okay. Oh, really? - Some more, Mrs. MacKenzie? - No, thank you, Ms. Thornton. May I have this dance, Mrs. MacKenzie? I haven't danced for such a long time, I'm afraid I'd be terrible. Dancing isn't something you forget. I promised a dance to Betty, the second one after intermission. Do you mind? No, not if you promised it to her. - Well, I'll see you around, okay? - Okay. Allison. Did you see your mother dancing with Mr. Rossi? - I've never seen my mother dance. - Standing over there. They make a good-looking couple. They do? - Hi, Norman. - Hi. Dance with me, Norman. - I don't know how. - Just try. - Where are we going? - You'll see. Hey, Rodney, you got a new car. Yeah. Hey, come on, get in. Rodney, it's beautiful. Here we are, snug as peas in a pod. - Where are we going? - Nowhere. Hey, I'm mad at you. Come on, Betty. You really want to kiss me, don't you? - Boy, do I. - Tell me how much. Tell me. I wanna kiss you more than anyone in the world. I wanna kiss you 1000 times. I never wanna stop. That's pretty good. I'll give you one kiss. What would Allison say? Why bring her name up at a time like this? Only one kiss to a customer. Betty, I couldn't help it. My father made me call you. Wouldn't you rather be with me? - Oh, yes, yes. - Tell me how much. In the whole world, in the whole wide world there's nobody I'd rather be with than you, Betty. Give me another kiss. Oh, honey, honey. - You want to make love to me? - Yes, yes, of course I want to. Now go make love to Allison MacKenzie! Go get the girl you brought and try it with her. The next time I go out, it will be with a man, not a papa's boy! Ladies and gentlemen. Pupils and faculty of Peyton Place High School, and especially the seniors. They tell me it is a tradition here to end each graduation dance with "Auld Lang Syne. " Since I'm new here and not yet part of your traditions I think the song should be led by a woman who has been with you long. Ms. Elsie Thornton. Thank you, Mr. Rossi. We're a small spot in a small town on a great big map. And maybe Peyton Place High School isn't a name that shakes the world but it's a part of each of you forever. Make it great by honoring it and come back to see us whenever you can. Now let's form a big circle everyone holding hands. It's an odd feeling, being in a school when it's so quiet. I always think of it as sleeping resting up from the pounding it takes during the day. - Do you work at night? - Yes, quite often. You don't realize the preparation it takes to be a teacher. It's like... . It's like all these kids were my own. I love them. I want so much for them. It's more than a job to you, isn't it? I didn't mean to sound like the dedicated idealist. Well, there's nothing wrong in that. Connie. - I did want to thank you for coming. - You don't have to. I enjoyed everything. Including the dancing? Including. You're wasting your time, Mike. I had my love a long time ago. And when my husband died, I came back here. And I've had no time for anything but Allison and the dress shop. - You've got time now. - It's too late. - Look, Connie. If I were... - I said it's too late. I made my choice long ago. Please take me home. Sure. Selena, let's get married. You mean now? Sure. I can get a full-time job. But what about college and law school that you've always talked about? That's just a dream. I can't do it. My old man doesn't make enough... Whose father does? Not everyone in college is a millionaire's son. Don't get so steamed up. Ted Carter, you've always wanted to be a lawyer. Now, go be it. Don't crumple up at the first obstacle. The first obstacle's the biggest, the money. Well, then get over that and the rest should be easy. Do you know how long it takes to become a lawyer? What difference does it make? It's what you wanna do in life. One of the things I want to do is marry you. If I don't do it now, maybe I never will. Ted, the only family I'll ever have will be half yours. I'll wait no matter how long it takes. Good night. Good night, Selena. Ted thank you. Ma? Ma? Joey? I thought you was something out of a dream. Where's Ma and Joey? Let's have a drink, celebrate your growing up. Where's Ma and Joey? They're working at a party at Harrington's. Let's have a drink. Rather stay in the dark, getting kissed by Ted Carter. I'm going to bed. It's about time I started teaching you something. Lucas! Let me go, Lucas! Never had nothing I ever wanted. Never had a beautiful woman. Let me up. Let me offer to the class of 1941 this fond farewell. The world outside waits for you. It is a world full of love and rich in opportunity. There may be dangers, but if you hold firm to your purpose and your ideals you will storm the ramparts of success and capture them. Tomorrow you grow up and your true happiness begins. - Thank you. - My best wishes to you. Selena Cross. Norman. At first a diploma seemed like a reward for the past but once in your hand, it became an obligation to the future. Independence was a distant word that we suddenly owned and we exploded with it. Some of us splashed away the summer or swooped and stretched with joyfulness and emptied our childish piggy banks of their play money. Yet others of us, eager to feel adult or out of necessity began our work early. - Put the bottle up on top. - Here? And gradually, as the happy confusion of summer faded one by one, we knew the Monday morning of responsibility was at hand. - Hi, Mr. Rossi. - Hello, Allison. Did you read those stories I gave you? Yes, I read them. Well? - When did you write them? - All summer. - Ever since graduation. - Has anybody else seen them? Only Selena. She thinks I'm a genius. What do you think? Are they good enough to send to a magazine? Yes, if you want to end up in prison. Those stories were full of enough libel and slander and double-entendre to hang us all. Allison, is that how Peyton Place really looks to you? They were only fiction. I didn't use any real names. You didn't have to. I recognized everybody in town. But let's get down to the important part. You have a talent. Those stories were a good start. Now, where do you go from here? That's what I hoped to find out from you. Then I suggest college. With your talent and your ideas... Thank you, but I don't want to go to college. I never have. Why not? Because I don't want to study about writing. I want to write. Nobody has to tell me Shakespeare was a wonderful writer or that wonderful books have already been written. Those books tell you how and why. I'd rather find that out myself at a typewriter. I need someplace to get me going. Someplace to start. All right if that's how you feel about it, then let's do it. Let's start at the Peyton Place Times. Who said I was a cynical, hard-hearted newspaperman? Aren't all newspapermen? That's a myth. We're the most sentimental slobs in the world. - The softest touches there are. - Prove it. All right. When do I start? All I want is a chance to show what I can do. Write something up this week, I'll run it Friday. Thank you, Mr. Bushwell. I'll start right away. - I'll dig up a story you'll never forget. - I don't doubt it. Just remember, there's no such thing as a cheap lawsuit. Hold on. We haven't discussed pay. You don't have to. I'll do it for experience. The first thing experience teaches us is to get paid. Five dollars a column to start. More later. That's more... . I wouldn't want these stories to fall into the wrong hands. Thanks, Seth. There's no question, the tests confirm that you're pregnant, Selena. I'd say about three months. - Who's the father? - I won't tell you. Now, what kind of rot is that? You're not the first girl in the world who had to get married. Or in this town, for that matter. Who's the father? Ted Carter? - No. - Don't you lie to me, don't lie! I'm not lying to you. Doc, help me. I need your help. What do you mean by "help"? I don't want to have the baby. Give me something. There's nothing I can give you. Tell me who's responsible. I can help you that way. You can get married. He's already married. Then he'll have to take care of you and provide for the baby. Who is it? - Please just give me something! - Selena! I've done a lot of things, but I've never broken a law. What you're asking me to do is break the law of man and God. Now, tell me, who is the man? Selena, tell me who he is. Who is he? It's my stepfather! It's my stepfather! It's Lucas! Hi, doc, come on in, have a drink. I've got Selena in my office. Selena? What for? She's pregnant. I told her she'd get in trouble. Always wrestling with that Carter boy. - I told her, she wouldn't listen... - You low, miserable, crazy slime. - Don't you go shoving... - That's your child she's carrying. - It ain't. - I can prove it, Lucas. I've got enough proof on you to put you in jail for the rest of your life. - I never touched her. - Here, sign that. It's a statement of the facts. Are you out of your mind? I never touched her! Maybe you'd like the police to sweat it out of you. I never touched her, and I ain't gonna sign nothing that said I did. If you don't want to sign this paper, that's up to you. Hey, doc... . You know I couldn't do nothing as awful as that, don't you? I'm going back to my office. I'm gonna start telephoning every father in Peyton Place. You wouldn't. I don't know what they'll do, but I do know this: You're the janitor in a school full of young girls and an hour from now, I wouldn't wanna be in your shoes. Don't do it. I wouldn't think of fooling around with any other girls. It was just Selena, doc. Well, there was something about her. It was just Selena. Please, doc, don't. There's only one thing that'll stop me. You sign that. If I sign it, what are you gonna do with it? I'll lock it up in my safe. Give me the pen. Now, get out and leave a man to work. No, Lucas. You get out. - You get out of Peyton Place before dark. - Doc, I signed it for you! If you do, I'll keep this in my safe. But if you don't, I'll use it against you. I signed it! Don't you ever try to come back here. Not next week, not next year, not ever. If you do, I'll kill you myself. Why you little... . Mary. Unofficially, this was a miscarriage but officially, for the records, it's an appendectomy. - That's a lie. - I removed her appendix. Understand? You want to ruin a girl's life for one word? - No, but falsifying records... . - I'll make them out personally and if you tell anybody this wasn't an appendectomy I'll tell the whole town about you and that drug salesman. Doc, that's blackmail. It sure is. Nellie, she's all right now. She's just fine. Thank God. What a disgrace, disgrace! - Disgrace! - Nellie. Don't talk that way. Nobody's ever gonna know but the three of us. People find out. They always find out. Nobody will find out as long as you don't say a word. Understand? - No, I won't. - Good. Now, you run on home now. - Thank you, doctor. - That's a good girl. Thanks. And don't worry about your job. It'll always be waiting for you. Thanks for the beautiful bed jacket. Hi, Mrs. MacKenzie. Hi, Allison. - Hi, Ted. - We were just leaving. - Don't let me rush you out. - We have to go. Goodbye, Selena. See you soon. They say it'll bloom for a month. You can plant it in your yard as a reminder of your operation. Here's a book on humor. Surgery's nothing these days. You'll be up before you know it. I went to see Mr. Rossi today, talked about how to get to college. He said he might be able to wrangle me a scholarship. He talked Mr. Partridge into taking me into his office as an office boy. How about that? That's just fine. Only thing is, if I work there a year, it'll be eight years instead of seven before I can pass the bar exam. Selena, I don't want to wait that long. I want to marry you now and become a lawyer too. Honey, don't cry. It's nothing to cry about. Please go, Ted. Just go. Okay. I guess I picked the wrong time. I'll come back tomorrow, when you're feeling better. Morning, Mrs. MacKenzie. Why, Nellie you didn't have to come to work today. Work keeps my mind off of things. Selena's all right now, isn't she? She'll be back to the store tomorrow. Everything is just trouble, Mrs. MacKenzie. Just trouble. Nellie, don't do any work today. Just sit around and relax. Happy Labor Day, Mother. Something's wrong. She's upset. Can't blame her, with Lucas gone and nobody knows where he is. I've gotta run. Bye. - Hi, Norman. - Hi. - How are you? - Fine. Come on. Hello, Mike. Where'd you come from? - Back there. - Right here. Nothing's as dull as a Labor Day speech. I didn't bring you here to explain how management and labor must pull together, not in opposite directions. You've got living proof of it in our prosperity. And there's more to come. Meet me halfway and you'll never be unemployed as long as men and women don't go back to wearing fig leaves. And if they did, I'll bet we'd be in the fig-leaf business sooner than anybody east of the Alleghenies. Now aside from this celebration, this is a proud moment of my life. Tomorrow my son Rodney leaves for Harvard. Let's get the fun started and give him a sendoff! End of speech. Just beside myself. First Paul goes, and then Lucas. I don't know if Selena and me can keep working and take care of Joey. - You'll just have to keep trying. - I've been trying all my life. With a husband drunk all the time and a grown girl dressing and undressing in front of him, and him staring at her all the time staring at her and thinking... . - Oh, Nellie. - We all have our problems. - Staring at her staring at her. ...and staring at her. Hello. Hello. What are you doing out here by yourself? I'm not used to being at home with Nellie. She has too many problems. As for the outing, I've seen them all. Let's go for a drive, try to find something interesting to do far away from Peyton Place. Now you're beginning to think like a true suspicious native. All right. - Are you ready? - Yeah! - Are you ready? - Yeah. Ready, set, go! Hi, Harvard. Going to invite me to the big game? If it isn't my childhood sweetheart. How are you? Take a look. Draw your own conclusions. You've certainly improved with age. Things must've been dull for you these past months. You're right. Come on, let's take a walk. What would your father say? Look, Betty, I don't care about that. - Come on. - Outings leave me cold. Let's grab some sandwiches, I've got a pint and go down to Crystal Pond. Hey, you can think for yourself once in a while, can't you? Okay. Hey, let's go get a hot dog or something. - Okay. - Good. - Let's go swimming or something. - Okay. Okay? - See that. - What? Allison and Norman on their way to Crystal Pond to swim, all by themselves. So what? They're young, happy, maybe in love. What trouble can they get into? If you don't understand, I'm not going to explain. - More? - Why not? Your father said to give you a big sendoff. Rodney, will I ever see you again? Can I compete with those Boston girls? What are your qualifications? - Can't you guess? - Seeing is believing. I think you're 10 percent man and 90 percent talk. You're 100 percent woman. Two hundred and fifty percent woman. Maybe 500. Going to take more than money to keep me. Know what you're doing to my temperature? - Let's cool it off and go for a swim. - But we didn't bring any bathing suits. - You all ready, Norman? - Yeah. Forgot my cap. What did you say? Norman, you're making me blush all over. I'm sorry. Let's go in swimming. What did you whistle for? I saw a fellow and a girl swimming, without a stitch on. - Where? - They're gone now. They got out of the water and ran into the woods. - Naked? - Naked. It was Allison MacKenzie and Norman Page. I didn't really get a good look at them. Don't you lie to me, Charles. We're gonna pull out of here and forget we even saw them. Betty, do you know how much I like you? I remember, faintly. I found out you can't always do or say what you want to that is, unless your father lets you. Rodney are you going through all your life only doing what your father lets you do? Only having the friends that he picks out for you wearing what he tells you to wear, thinking his thoughts? Betty, I'm old enough, but he's a tough man to handle. - You've got to do it someday. - Yeah, but how? I have a selfish idea. It has to do with you and me. It's... It's called marriage. Wouldn't that just bowl him over? I'm sure it would. And me too. But don't think of doing it just to bowl him over. You're the only girl I've ever wanted. Rodney... . Rodney, not that way. What good is life if I know I didn't have the guts to live it my way? Rodney. I've really loved you for such a long time. It must take a lot of patience to make something so beautiful. That's what they tell me. - All gone. - Thank you. Naked as the day they were born. Not a stitch on them. Saw them with my own eyes. Sorry, don't think it'd be ethical to tell you their names. Goodbye. Marion. - Thanks for today. - Anytime. How about tomorrow, for instance? I can't remember when I've had so much fun. I've almost forgotten the silly, wonderful things there are for two people to do. It isn't over yet. Mike, please. - I don't think we'd better, I mean it! - Connie, listen... All right, let's talk about this. I don't want to talk. I just want you to leave. - Just like that? - That's right. - We're not kids, we're adults. - And we'll behave like adults. I kissed you, you kissed me. That's affection, not carnality. That's not lust, you should know the difference. What do you call a man who thinks about nothing but...? Human. All men are alike. The approach is different but the result is always the same. Sooner or later, we get to this. If all I wanted was a woman, I could get one in a bar, in a hotel lobby... Or in my home? - I'm not gonna let you make this dirty. - What do you call it? I'll tell you a truth about yourself. It isn't sex you're afraid of. It's love, that's what you can't handle. That's what you offer me, with your hands on me? That's one expression, backed up by many things. I haven't asked for any of them. Understand what you're saying no to. When I take you in my arms, I commit to you, not just physically but all the way. That means I intend to worry about you, to take care of you and that's what I want back from you, without any reservations or shame. - Either you're up to that or not. - I have my standards and pride. They're not enough for anyone. You need someone to trust, to love. No, I don't. I don't! Now, just leave me alone. I can but I don't want to. Let me help you. I don't care if you hang back. I'll give it time. I can't. The offer is always open. I don't know if you'll take it up but perhaps it'll make you feel better to know it's there. Hello. Yes, Marion. I don't believe it. Are you positive? No. No, I'll call Mrs. Page myself. Operator, will you please connect me with Evelyn Page? I don't believe Norman did what you said. Two people saw them. - Marion has spread it all over town. - Don't you say a word against Norman. If you'd brought him up with intelligence... He has no interest in girls. He never had. He never learned a thing about sex in my house. It was never mentioned. - Hello, Mrs. Page. - Come in here. - Where's Norman? - Outside, just going home. - Stay right here. - What's the matter? Norman! Come in here. What is it, Ma? - Where were you today? - What is it, Mother? You were seen swimming in the nude with Norman. - That's a lie! - How could you even think that? You were seen clearly by two people. We went swimming, but we had our suits on. And by now, everybody in Peyton Place knows about it. If anything is wrong with her... We didn't do anything, did we, Allison? - No. - You better take your boy and go. We didn't do anything. I've never, never been so humiliated and disgusted! Allison! Come back here immediately! Keep this up and I'll do what you accuse me of! I wouldn't doubt it. You're just like your father about sex. Just like him! Don't say things about my father. He was wonderful. - Wonderful! - And good to you. - You told me that, so don't blame him. - Wonderful and good. That's what I told you? Well, I lied. I lied because I was ashamed of him and of myself. - Then why did you marry him? - I didn't! He didn't marry me because he had a wife. - You don't mean that, Mother. - I do mean it. - Don't you understand? - No. He had a wife! No! Nellie! Allison. Connie, everybody reacts differently to suicide. With Allison, severe shock. She looks so, so... . Shock is just a kind of a sleep. It's an escape when the mind can't accept what it sees. A few days' care, and she'll be out of it. I guess I'd better tell Selena. And Connie just because it happened in your house, don't think any of it was your fault. Somehow I do. You've got just one thing to think about: Allison. If you were gonna get married, why didn't you tell me? - You wouldn't have approved. - You never gave me a chance. At least it would've been a proper marriage, not a cheap weekend affair. - Don't say that. - Well, what was it? - I'd like to talk with you alone. - You can talk to both of us. This has to do with the business, not your wife. - I'll wait outside. - Okay, honey. I can get it annulled. I don't want trouble between us. I was in love with Betty and wanted to marry her. You weren't in love. You had an itching for her. She took you, son. She took you. Goodbye, Dad. - When you come home, don't bring her. - Then I won't be there. Rodney what about college? I'm not going. I have to support her. You can have a job here, if you work like everyone else. That's good enough for me. Thanks, Dad. I knew you weren't coming down for lunch, so I thought... . It's such a beautiful day, darling. Why don't you get dressed and go for a walk? You haven't spoken to me for over a week, since... . Allison, I understand how you feel. You'll just have to accept what's happened and make the best of it. Mother. As soon as I can, I'm going to get dressed pack my things and leave Peyton Place. I never want to see this town or you again. - You can't mean that. - I mean it. I'm going to New York. Please, Allison. I was only trying to protect you. I was an accident you hated and tried to hide. But I loved you from the moment you were born. Try to believe me. Well, how will you live? What'll you do for money? I have enough to get there. I'll find a job. Suppose you can't find a job? Then I'll live off some man, the way you did. God. God, help me. Allison. Allison. Didn't want you to come here. I couldn't say goodbye to you in person. - You know I don't want you to go. - But I'm going. You stay here. You belong here, both of us, together. - We've been friends since we were kids. - Goodbye, Selena. Your mother, how can you leave her alone? Mother's always been alone. Oh, Selena. I cried all the way to New York and my eyes were the color of the oak leaves that had started to fall back home. For days, I struggled to keep alive and I shivered with loneliness in a back room on the fourth floor of nowhere. There were times when I wanted to crawl home but somehow I managed, and I stayed. I learned what I could endure, but none of us, in New York or in Peyton Place could guess how much would be demanded of us that winter of deep despair. I knew families at home would be getting up on frosty mornings driving their sons to a place of hurried goodbye. I prayed for them. Fellas, get your last cup of civilian coffee. The Army stuff is used for waterproofing shingles. That's what I heard. - You hear what Norman Page did? - Became the first 4F in town. No, he enlisted in the paratroopers. - Our Norman? - Norman Page? - He volunteered, the paratroopers. - That's funny. - Maybe they'll drop his mother. - She'd kill 1000 Japanese before she'd let one touch her little boy. Brought you a doughnut. Rodney, I'm gonna cry. No, you don't. Betty, you don't know how glad I am that I married you. Rodney, I hope so. Your father's over there. Go say goodbye to him. Go on. Go say goodbye to him. He loves you as much as I do. Go on. Take care of yourself and whatever you do, do it honorably. That's the family motto. Do me a favor, Dad? Certainly, son. Take care of Betty if she needs anything. She won't ask, but she might need it. I'll keep an eye on her. Would all the draftees assemble over here, please. Come right in, folks. Now, as chairman of the draft board, let me say that all of us regret having to send any of you men off to war. You carry our love, our devotion and our undying gratitude. Please try to come back safely to your homes. Now, we've prepared some gift packages. If you'll just step up here, I'll hand them out. Peyton Place draftees in the bus, on the double. Let's go. - Best of luck. - Come on, boys, hurry it up. Make the goodbyes short. Name, loud and strong. Last name. - Culver, Jones... . - Harvey. Keep going. You boys are gonna love the Army. - Elliot. - Elliot, right. Hurry up in the back. Plenty of seats. Nothing in the world's gonna stop me from coming back. I love you, Selena. I love you, Ted. Come on, hurry up. On the double, let's go, boys! Got them all. Hey, you. Snap it up, on the double. Let's go. You know, you can write to her later on government stationery. That first winter away from home, I took shape as an individual and toughened. And with spring came the promise that perhaps I had found my place in life. But part of me would keep escaping and I'd find it running, in memory, back through the fields of Peyton Place or wandering down streets now empty of young men. I got a couple of funny ones. This is from Ted Carter. He says: "The food they serve here must have been warmed over from World War I. " Remember Fred Combes? He's in the Navy. He says, "Dear Hyde: I joined the Navy because I liked the way they kept their ships neat and tidy. But I never knew until now who kept them that way: Me. " The boys are getting around these days. I had a V-Mail letter just the other day from someplace from Norman Page. - Remember him? - Sure. He said he dug a foxhole so deep that it was just short of desertion. And then the seasons spun by so fast they seemed to become one. The war news was too big to grasp, and too unhappy to understand. Selena wrote me often about Peyton Place, and I treasured her letters. She always tried to mention my mother and tell me what people were saying to each other or were not saying. Eventually, I broke the ice of my intentions and subscribed to the Peyton Place Times. I was hungry for names that meant something to me. But among them, unhappily, came the names of those who were gone forever. Betty... . - Rodney asked me to take care of you. - I don't need your help. But I need yours. Rodney was a better boy for having married you. When I was 6 years old, I was in love with Rodney. For years afterwards, I never even thought about anybody else. I was a kind of flashy girl, I know, but Rodney liked flashy girls so that's the way I was gonna be. The funny thing is, Rodney always loved me as much as I loved him. But you taught him appearances count more than feelings! I was wrong. Rodney discovered it. Let's... . Let's keep what's left of the family together. A little brighter one, please. - Did you hear about Mr. Rossi? - No, what? - He's leaving town. - Leaving? Not really. They're trying to get him to be principal of a high school in Portland. - You sure? - I'm sure. I got it firsthand. From Mr. Rossi? From Kathy, who got it from Betty, who got it from Ms. Thornton. - I suppose that's firsthand. - We won't be able to keep him here. - This is kind of nice. Can I try it on? - Sure, come on. Merry Christmas. Come in. Merry Christmas. It's been a long time. It is Christmas. You don't have to explain a gift. Thank you. Come in. Let me take your coat. I can only stay a moment. I have to deliver a few more things. - Can I fix you a drink? - No, thank you. Well, come in, sit down. Well, I really came to... . Is it true that you might go to Portland? Well, I've received the offer. It's a larger school, and naturally, much more money. - You'll take it. - I don't know. I have a week to make up my mind. Sit down. - Michael? - Yes? You were right. I never thought I could say it but you were right. - About what? During the past months, I've been able to come to a few conclusions about myself. - And what were they? - Well, Michael, I've lied so long. I was everything you said, especially that night in the kitchen. I wanted you more than you wanted me. - I had no right to say those things. - Yes, you did. - I came to tell you the truth. - You don't owe me an explanation. Allison didn't leave home because of Nellie's suicide but because she hated me. - She won't answer my letters or calls. - Why not? The night you walked out, Marion Partridge called me. She told me Allison and Norman... I heard about that woman and her phone calls. Well, I've always been so afraid of scandal. I believed Marion. I believed that phone call. Without thinking, when Allison returned, I told her some terrible things. What things? Come on, Connie, what things? I'm Allison's mother, but I've never been married. Not to Angus MacKenzie, not to anyone. I went to New York and lived with a married man. After he died, I came back here and lied and I've been lying ever since. You want the truth and when you get it, you're just like everybody else. - They want anything but the truth. - Connie. Connie! I told you once that the offer was always open. That I'm committing myself to you all the way and that I plan to worry about you, and take care of you. I meant that. Oh, Michael. - How's that? - Fine. I'll get it. - Merry Chris... - Ain't you gonna invite me in? That's not a very friendly greeting after I broke my back getting here. Hi, Joey. Say, there's a blizzard blowing up, big one. Got a drink? I'm froze. You're nowhere near froze, with all you've got in you already. I see the Navy hasn't cured you of drinking. Cure me! Honey, the Navy's taught me tricks you never heared of. Sure made a lot of changes around here, ain't you? You bet we have, Lucas. And for a start, you can pick up your things and go. Ain't nobody gonna tell me what I can't do in my own house. - This isn't your house anymore. - I don't care. This is still my place, and don't forget it. Did you just come back here to make trouble? - You heard about Ma, didn't you? - Yep, heard about her. Hey, Joey, here's a quarter. Run along now, huh? Come on, pick it up. - Pick it up, Joey. - Lucas, you leave him alone. Oh, honey... . No, don't start a fight. Me and you got to know each other a little too well for that. Say, I didn't think you could improve, but you sure have. It ain't like I was your real pa, you know. - You dirty, filthy animal! - You're still a little wildcat, ain't you! As we worship together this Easter morning and more, as we pray to him who died and rose again that we might have life and have it more abundantly let us remember especially those who have gone from this country and town to live and die in far-off places for a like purpose. May they know his mercy, his comfort and his peace. May we uphold them with our prayers, encourage them with our letters honor them with our love. And may our lives, not less than theirs be dedicated to that same Lord who alone can give to life a perfect freedom and a final peace. Let us pray. Our Father, who art in heaven hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Gives us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen. Thank you. Come again. - Yes? - I'd like to see Miss Cross. Selena. Miss Cross, you have a father in the Navy. Lucas Augustus Cross? My stepfather. Have you seen him lately? Not for a year and a half. What's wrong? He went on leave and didn't come back. He's listed as a deserter. Miss Cross, you're sure you haven't seen him? I didn't even know that he was in the Navy. - He hasn't called or written you? - No. He disappeared from town a year and a half ago, deserting his family. Looks like he's running true to form. If you do hear from him, get in touch with the First District Shore Patrol. I will. Selena, don't get upset. It's not your fault they can't find him. What is it? What's wrong, Selena? Mrs. MacKenzie, I've gotta tell someone. I can't keep it to myself any longer! - Every time I go out in that yard... - What do you mean? Lucas didn't desert. How do you know? Because I killed him! I killed him Christmas Eve in the shack! - I don't believe it. - I did. I buried him in the sheep pen! Selena, you've gotta call the state police. No. No, I can't! You've got to. You should've done it long ago! Please don't make me! Listen to me, Selena. Listen. - One of us has got to call. - I can't! - No. - You must call them now. I can't. - Pardon me. - Allison! Norman. - What a surprise. - Yeah. Come here. Hey, you guys. You know... . - You look older. More grown-up. - A uniform helps. - And all the decorations. - Yeah. - What have you been doing? - Living in New York. I remember you liked to write. - I did some writing. - Get any published? No, I got a job working for a book publisher. He didn't publish those books with the plain wrappers, did he? - Remember? - No. - Yes, you do. Remember? - Yes. You were always afraid. And everything frightened you. I can't get over how wonderful you look. Really. You look great. Thanks. You know, you never said goodbye to me when you left Peyton Place. You never even said goodbye. I'll never forget that Labor Day, Norman. I won't either. - I see you have two Purple Hearts. - Yeah. What brings you home? Vacation? - Haven't you heard about Selena Cross? - No, why? She killed her stepfather, Lucas. Her trial starts in two days, for murder. Lucas was always a bad joe, but she seemed to be able to put up with him. Who ever knows what anyone's able to put up with? Well, that's true. Sure took me a long time to know about myself and understand Peyton Place. - Cigarette? - Thanks. I'm gonna go back and try and work things out with my mother. Maybe we'll both be happier. If not, well, at least I've made the effort, you know? I always wondered why you enlisted. In the paratroopers, I mean. I guess I wanted to get knocked off or something. But as soon as I got away from my mother I realized how wonderful life really was. Then I fought like a tiger to stay alive. I was running away from my problems. You know what I mean. Yeah, I know. Something's bothering you, isn't it? Yeah. Can I help? No, you can't. - Okay. - I'd rather not talk about it. All right. Hey, have you had dinner? Would you like dinner, with me? - Okay. - Okay? All right. - Doc Swain. - Hi. Evening, Selena. Be right with you. My wife loved these flower gardens. I try to keep them up for her. Watch your feet. Are you gonna tell them about me? - I'll have to, Selena. - Nobody in town must ever know. - But if I don't, you'll be risking your life. - I know that. - Well, then why? - Because of Ted. What are you afraid of, what he'll think? He loves you. It would ruin his life, married to a girl who... . Not a respectable person in town would accept him. "Respectable. " What kind of respectability are you talking about? The people with enough money to hire him as a lawyer. Look, don't you understand? We're talking about your whole life. Prison can be a kind of dying. Losing Ted would be a worse kind of dying. - Besides, you mustn't get involved. - Never mind about me. Promise me you won't tell them. Promise me, please promise! All right, Selena. I'll promise you. You don't seem to realize you face a possible life sentence. - I need more to work with, much more. - There is no more. Lucas was drunk and brutal. When he tried to beat me, I killed him. Killing in self-defense is understandable. But you hid the body, like a criminal. - I know. - She was fighting for her life. The state is sending a prosecutor for one purpose: to convict Selena. I've seen him work. He's thoroughly competent and relentless as law itself. Tell her to come in. There must be something you haven't told me. - He tried to kill me, I killed him first. - But you hid the body! Why? Come in, Allison. Allison. I was never happier to see anyone in my life. Are you all right? - Hi, Ted. - Hi, Allison. I can testify about Lucas. I saw him beat her. It'll help, believe me. - We appreciate you coming back. - You'll get her off, won't you? We're gonna do the best we can. But the jury decides on the one thing: evidence. Now, it adds up to this: We have a murder, and a defense that's too simple to be good. It's open to attack from many sides. Selena, have you told me the whole story? I'm sorry. There's no more to tell. Hello, Allison. - You look well. - With a drink in my hand? Would you care for something? I moved hoping I'd be left alone. Well, this is an unexpected pleasure. Do come in. It is wiser to telephone. Please sit down. Would you like a drink? I do hope this isn't an appeal to my better nature. - I haven't one. - No. You might as well know, my engagement's broken off. I'll never see Bill again, so it's no good you going on blackmailing me because I haven't a penny in the world. This is shocking news. But 16 Texan oil wells shouldn't be thrown away. That doesn't matter. You wouldn't understand. I really love him, and I'm nobody without him, so, please, please, leave me alone. I'm sorry, but it would still make a good supporting feature. "Lurid past loses luckless model Texan oil millions." - (Sobs) - Look, my dear. You'll be better off trying to win him back than wasting your time and mine. What the d...? ! - (West Country accent) Sorry, sir. - What are you doing here? I beg your pardon, sir, for barging in. - Get out of here! - I'm trying, sir. All right, I'll see that you do. Wait here a minute. MacGregor... What the devil are you doing? - Do you want to know who I am? - Yes, I do. Well, sir, see, I'm from the London Bureau of Boats, Barges, Brigs, all tethered bottoms and maintenance of, sir... that's it. Maintenance? This place is condemned. I'm the last one. Lucky you are. If you've got wet rot on the top, you've got dry rot on the bottom. - What are you talking about? - I'll show you. Look at that. - What...? - Oh! I'll see what I can do. I'll put my report in... and I'll try and get them before they close. I haven't got a cork with me, so I'll be back later... Terrible thing, you've got there. Dreadful thing, that. Terrible mess you've got there, terrible mess. - Madam? - Some knock-out drops, please. - Some...? - Knock-out drops. - You want a pick-me-up? - If I did, I would say so. No, quite the reverse. Knock-out drops. Surely you've heard of them? - For knocking out what? - People. Who else? - You mean a sleeping draught. - I suppose so, but instantaneous. My dear madam, you're asking for a Mickey Finn. - Am I? - We have a mild soporific here, if you're sleeping badly. I'm sleeping perfectly well, thank you. Mickey Finn... Mickey... Thank you very much. Desiree, you are the expert on crime, how would one obtain a Mickey Finn? Well, I get all dope on drugs from a little crook called Maury Fish. He hangs around in a pub called the Limehouse Arms. The Limehouse Arms? Thank you very much. (Piano music and chatter) - Yes? - Gin and... Port and lemon, please. - Thank you. - One and six. - You know Maury Fish? - Why? I want some Mickey Finns. The real McCoy, mac. - What for? - Ask no questions, eh? Wait here. Hello. Good evening, boys. - Have you got the stuff? - What stuff? - The Mickey Finns. - What do you want 'em for? - Ask no questions, eh? - I'm afraid it's our duty, madam. - We're police officers. Come along. - (Sighs) (Footsteps) My dear Lord Mayley! This is an unexpected pleasure. Laden with good news, I trust? - Yes... and no. - Ah... Hmm... I'm willing to pay but the point is this - my wife's rich father is on his last legs. - So? - He won't last a year. She'll get the lot, I shall be able to extract. A year? I gave you two weeks, remember? - Yes but £10,000... - You're an insurance chief. - You earn a lot. - My wife spends a lot. - If there's any left, I spend it. - Too bad. I don't know where I'm going to get £10,000. - You can do it. I have faith in you. - You... - You what? - You sw... ine! - Help! Help! - Hold on! Don't panic! Don't panic? ! I can't swim! Help! Help! (Splutters) What the devil are you doing here? Day and night service. I reported your leaky bottom for you. - Are you all right? - (Mayley) Yes. Take him home. He's a valued friend of mine. - Aye, aye, sir. - Home to a hot drink. We don't want you getting pneumonia. Good night. Good night, sir. Come along, my darling. Don't call me darling! I'm sorry. I should have thanked you for saving my life. Half a crown? It ain't worth it. I'd have done it for a tanner. (Laughs) Your moustache... Oh, yes, sir. I got the creeping alopecia, sir. It crept all over my lip, it did, sir. Yes, sir. - Fetch Mrs Ransom. - Yes, sir. I'm sure Mrs Ransom was after local colour for one of her romances. Local colour is one thing. Asking a publican for a Mickey Finn is another. - I don't know Mr Finn. - Knock-out drops, sir. Drugs. Oh, my goodness! Then hurling abuse at a police officer, and giving a false name. - "Lotus Blossom." - Good gracious. - She had been drinking. - Oh, never. No, Mumsie is totally teetotal. She was on port and lemon tonight, miss. Well, I'm sure she's very sorry indeed. She's been under stress... I shall write to my MP! You haven't heard the last of this, not by a long chalk! - Flora! - Sit down. Masquerading as civilians. That oaf who arrested me hadn't even shaved! Madam, nobody has arrested you. Now please go home. If you want to know anything about crime, ask the police. Very well, then. Where would I get a Mickey Finn? I haven't the faintest idea. There you are, you see? Come, Cedric. What are you waiting for? Come along. Ethel, come on! Sergeant, where would one get a Mickey Finn? I haven't the faintest idea, sir. (Creaks) - Good evening. - (Gasps) Must you keep jumping out? You seem to have jumped in. What on earth...? - I... I got caught in a storm. - It hasn't been raining. It was raining where I was. Cats and dogs. - And mud, I see. - Yes, I must brush that off. By the way, one of your girls has been telephoning. Really? Which one? I mean... What do you mean? She had a twangy voice and refused to give her name. - Never heard of her. - You will. She's in trouble. Impossible. It must be a mistake. (Sighs) A bomb... Yes, a bomb would do it. A bomb would blow him and his records and the barge to kingdom come, yet it wouldn't hurt anyone else. Yes. But where do we get a bomb from? Well, if you only want a little one you'd have to go to Ireland. Honestly! Bomb, indeed. Get the whole mad idea out of your head. Ireland... That's it! (Irish accent) Ireland! You remember that old villain at the Dublin show. He was still at it. Get me a sprig of that stuff they wear in the buttonhole. What is it? - Shillelagh. - No, shamrock, you twit. And book me on the first plane to Dublin in the morning, right? (Sniffles and sneezes) Henry? Henry? Please don't ask any more questions about that storm. An orphan of the storm has just arrived. - What? - Your girl. Look, I keep telling you, I haven't got a girl. - What's she like? - Oh, about 40. I thought you said she was a girl. - I wasn't referring to her age. - Eh? Oh. Poor Henry. It never rains but it pours, hmm? I've never seen her before. It's a lie. - What? - Whatever she says I've done. - Oughtn't you go and find out? - Yes, I jolly well will. And be careful. You might fall. - Good evening. Did you want me? - I'm sorry to come like this. I know you've done something dreadful, too, but you needn't pay a penny. - What are you talking about? - That beastly Dennis. Come here, will you? ...and there were magazines on Sonny MacGregor and a lady called Ransom. Now I've nothing to lose, I'm going to expose everything. - To whom? - To the police. You may have nothing to lose but other people have. - You don't want to pay him, do you? - I have my reputation to think of. I can't discuss this with you here. It's most embarrassing. I'll come and see you tomorrow... I can't. I've got a board meeting and a charity dance. I'll come the day after tomorrow. Until then, expose nothing. - Where do you live, by the way? - 54, Chillingdon Court. You know it? Yes, I used to have... Day after tomorrow. - Ah-ah. This way. The firm will... - The firm? ! Yes, the firm will try to straighten out matters. - We will try and find the man. - Dennis? But I know... Do nothing till you hear from me. 12:30, the day after tomorrow. Phew! 54... 54... Darling... Shall I jot it down for you? No! (Silence) (Irish accent) A drop o' the hard stuff, please. Right away. - Three and six, please. - Right, right, right... - There. - Thank you. # 'Tis the shamrock in her hair that reminds me of Killarney # And the little people standing in a row # And... # God bless all here. #... the boys on the stalls and the people of Killarney... # My name's Lannegan. I'm from across the water. You'll be O'Toole, and it's right glad that I am to meet you. I'm descended from the kings in the halls of Tara. It's like this. We're doing a job in London. 'Tis the Albert Hall at all, and we've run out of the jelly. So, if you're letting me have some gelignite, I'll be doing the job. But why are we talking in the cursed tongue, when we have the Gaelic? Oh... Llanfairpwllgwyngyll... gogerychwyrndrobwll... Ilantysiliogogogoch. He's an Englishman, all right. Ah! My nose. (Delirious) His nose has all gone! F... F-A... F-A... F-A-R... F-I... Fist... Fistula... Flat... Ethel, how do you spell Finn? - What? A fishy fin? - No, a Mickey Finn. Oh, Mumsie. You and these Mickey Finns. I'll have no peace until I get one from the nursing home. What did you say? The doctors use them on the violent patients. Why didn't you say? Why didn't I think of it? - Get me some. Plenty of them. - Mumsie, I was only joking. Wait! Sit down. Ethel, I have something very important to tell you. You know how much my reputation as a writer and as a woman means to me. You're loved and respected the whole world over, Mumsie. Till now, yes. Ethel, many years ago, your father was in China. Money was short. I was young, beautiful. It was easy, and so was... I fell by the wayside. So, you slipped, darling. So do tons of people. You found your feet again. For some months, I lost my head completely. Ethel, suppose someone found out and was threatening to expose me to the world. What would you say? I... I'd want to kill him, Mumsie. Splendid. That's exactly what we're going to do. - Mumsie! - I have it all worked out. - I've recced his barge. - Wrecked his barge? ! No, Reconnoitred. He lives on a barge. - But, Mumsie... - Shh! Hello? Are you that Dennis creature? This is Flora Ransom here. I have your money. Come and collect it at 7:30 tomorrow night. Now, you get the pills, I'll prepare the trunk. "Solder wire to hole marked Z." And that's that. - Wonderful. - Whatever's that? That, my friend, is the bomb completed. Now for the gunpowder. Get out my Indian army colonel with the overdraft clothes. (Doorbell) Mr MacGregor? My name is Lord Mayley. - Yes? - We haven't met before but you're said to be a very decent sort. - You're very kind. - I'm sure you agree that we should help each other. - How much do you want? - No, I want to help you. Mr MacGregor, if I mentioned the name Dennis, and that I know that you're being "B"-ed... - "B"-ed? - Well, blackmailed. - Look, may I come in? - Wee Sonny MacGregor blackmailed? - I think you're mistaken. - You're wondering why I'm here. I know why you're here, friend. You're being "B"-ed, too. - No, I'm a complete outsider. - I wouldn't say that. Please, let me explain. A young lady came to see me... You're a lucky fellow. Good luck to you, sir, and good day. - Mr MacGregor? - Go away. You'll regret this. - How did he find out? - I don't know. Why didn't you let him talk? He obviously wanted an ally. The more friends we have now... Make an ally of that idiot? No, thank you. I'll rely on my bomb. And now... for the gunpowder. (Doorbell) Bill! Oh, Bill! Honey! Oh, no! We don't want any today. - Don't want any what? - I don't know who you are. - (Whispers) Go away! - Of course you know who I am. - I don't! (Go away! ) - But you asked me here! You haven't forgotten the other night? You got me out of bed! Well, didn't you? Don't, Bill. No! Bill! Don't, please, Bill! Bill, please! Don't! Please... Bill! Please, come here! All right. All right. I'll leave him alone, and I'll tell you for why. We're through! Finished! Finito! Understand? Good afternoon, sir. (Upper class accent) Good afternoon. I'm having a day's rough shooting and want some bullets. Cartridges? Certainly, sir. Any particular make? No, as long as they've got gunpowder in them. - What bore? - Boar? No, no. A few rabbits, pheasants, small fry, you know. No, no, sir. Bore. B-O-R-E. Bore! (Laughs) - Hmm? - 12, 20 or 4-10? Er... Definitely, yes. Well, which, sir? Well, the largest you have, surely. 12-bore. How many, sir? 50? No, I think you'd better make it a thousand. - A thousand? ! - Yes. But didn't you say a day's rough shooting? Yes, I did, er... and it may be pretty rough. On second thoughts, I think you'd better make it 1,500, perhaps? Right. That's whisky, gin, sherry, tea, coffee, cocoa - all Mickey Finned. He's bound to accept one or the other. Mumsie. Oh, Mumsie! This is stark-staring murder! Remember, before you pop him in, you must take his keys. But why should I have to do all the dirty work? He'd never take a drink from me. He'd suspect foul play! - I shall be hung! - It's "hanged", and you won't be. Oh, Mumsie! I'll go by the service stairs to avoid him. Is everything clear? Good. I'll be in the car at the front. The moment he falls insensible, signal from the window. - You'll have a lot to answer for. - Mumsie! - It won't be long now. Chin up. Chin up... Oh! It's... Mumsie, she... (Shrieks) (Doorbell) Ohh... Oh. Mrs... Miss Ransom? Are you alone? May I come in? Charming. Charming. - Going away? - No. No. Yes, Miss Ransom... Hello. Excuse me. Mrs Ransom, if I mentioned the name "Dennis" and the word "blackmail", would this mean anything to you? Yes? Splendid. What I want to know is are you going to pay him, or are you going to fight? I don't know. Would you like a drug...? A Mick...? A drink? - Yes, I think I would. - Please. Wh... Wh... - What would you like? - Anything, thanks. Other than tomato juice, of course. You know, Mrs Ransom, this is a great relief to me. First, I'd like to introduce... Whoa! Just a minute. You'll have me passing out. Could I have a little soda, please? Thank you. Your very good health. Mmm! I needed that. Well, Mrs Ransom, we now come to rather a delicate question. If the threat of publication is genuine, we... (Stutters) I say... (Mumbles) Oh, dear. (Sobs) What, inside already? Bravo! Well done. Keys? - Come along. Best foot forward. - Oh, Mumsie. No. We can't leave him in there. He'll suffocate before we drown him. No, it must look like suicide or an accident. One, two, three... Go! That's the way. - Good evening, Mrs Ransom. - Constable Johnson, give us a hand. - Somebody going away? - Yes. - What's in here? A body? - Yes! How did you guess? - My daughter murdered him. - Poisoned or suffocated? - Both, I'm afraid. - Very funny. - Why did you do it? - He was blackmailing Mumsie... - Ethel! Good night, Constable. - Good night. Once he's in the pond, we'll go to the barge and destroy the cabinet's contents. - Can't we do it without killing him? - Of course not. He'd just hide himself away and write it all over again. Of course we must kill him. Whoops! Steady. We mustn't hurt him. Come along, Ethel. Give us a hand. Come along! We'll tip him out from here. Come along, Ethel. Right. Up. There! Give him a pull. Come on. Botheration! He's stuck. You'll have to launch him! Come along, Ethel! Shh! You'll wake him! Shh! Hurry, girl. Hurry! (Gasps) Right, strap the trunk. Come along. - He looked so happy. So happy! - Splendid. Then everybody is. Last lap. The barge. Come along. (Snores) (Sniffs) Darling... What's the time, darling? (Splutters) Help! Help! Where am I! My goodness! Where am I? (Gasps) (Ticking) (Footsteps) - The silly chump. He didn't lock it. - Don't speak ill of the dead. Come on. There it is. Come on. Careful. This is it. Come on. Lift it. Careful. You'll have it bursting all over the place. Come on! Do you realise that the contents of this cabinet could rock London to its foundations? And provide very interesting reading, too! Oh, Henry? - Oh, my heart! - Yes, that's the trouble. Another storm? No... Seaweed. That's it. That's it. Yes, I... I had a dip. - A midnight dip. - Fully clothed? Well, I couldn't go in in the nude, could I? Well, could I? - I fell in. - Well, fall into bed. - I'll get the doctor. - I'm going out again. Where to this time? The Serpentine? (Tuts) I'll get Maria to lay out your frogman's outfit. Go and clean up. You look a terrible sight. (Doorbell) Oh, good evening. Is Mrs Ransom in? Yes, but I'm afraid she can't see anyone at the moment. Then I'll wait. Please, couldn't you come back tomorrow? Mumsie... Mumsie won't be in the least surprised to see me. - Been rather an evening. May I? - Yes, of course... No! - It's bad! Gone off! Flies! - All right, all right! - (Door opens) - It's Mumsie. (Dennis) Good evening. Well, don't look so surprised. You expected me earlier, or did more pressing engagements banish it from your mind? No, no, no... Of course I expected you. - Won't you have a drink? - No, thank you. - Your daughter warned me. - Did she? Ethel, come here. Excuse me. Certainly. Oh. How did he escape? - Who? - Dennis, girl. Dennis! - That's not Dennis, Mumsie. - Of course it's Dennis. - I should know. - Well, it can't be. Then who was the man in the trunk? Oh, Mumsie, what have you done? What have I done? ! You have murdered an innocent bystander. Control yourself. - Get this back to the barge. - Why? If he misses it, he'll be suspicious. Besides, it pointless our taking it while he's alive. If I nobble him now, we can get it back. Though why you had to go and warn him... Hurry! Hurry! Our whole future depends on it. (Chuckles) Forgive me. I was getting rid of my daughter. Getting rid of people seems to be a hobby of yours. Eh? ! Are you sure you won't have a drink? Oh, no. For once, I think I won't. - Oh... - Please sit down. Business before pleasure. The keys! Beautiful evening, Constable. Beautiful evening. Mr X was then pushed into the pond. I don't know why you did it, but if that isn't worth double what I asked, I'm a Dutchman. It was a dummy. We... I was working out a plot. Pinching a plot, don't you mean? What would your chum say? Therefore I suggest a contract making over 50 per cent of all your future royalties forever. - Impossible. - Then I'll send an anonymous letter, telling police to drag the pond and name you as the culprit. - Mumsie! Mumsie! - Go away! But, Mumsie, the keys! You've got the keys! In my raincoat pocket. Hurry. Don't say there's someone else for the high jump. What about the money you mentioned? I couldn't get it. It may be a few days. Well, the new deal will be £5,000 down in advance of the 50 per cent. When may I hope to see the cash and contract? Why, you...! My agent is away. Come the day after tomorrow evening at nine o'clock. Well, don't let me down this time. - No. - Good. (Footsteps) (Engine starts) Beautiful night, Constable. Beautiful night. Excuse me, sir, you got... Oh! Oh! You. Mr Creeping Alopecia. No you don't! There's something fishy here. There'll be something even fishier soon, sir. We're going to stay here and discuss this very quietly. "Mystery explosion wrecks peer's car"! Well, Henry? What's going on? Come on. Out with it. I'm cheesed off. If it isn't police or reporters, it's you. Just a couple of minor accidents and a girl I'll never see again. (Knock on door) Miss Melissa Right to see you urgently, sir. So, we're off again. Show her in, Maria. Show her right in. Bathing again, or is this a dry day? Good morning, my dear. How very nice to see you again. My husband was afraid we'd seen the last of you. I have a feeling you won't be needing your frogman's flippers today. - You shouldn't have come here. - I'm... Shh! (Whispers) I came to apologise about yesterday. Is that the only reason you came? No, it isn't. Now I've really lost Bill. - I am going to the police. - Please... That's no good. No point crying over spilt milk. You don't understand. It's not his money I care about. I really love him. So, now I'm getting my own back on that beastly Dennis. Just a minute. You said you saw a file on that authoress Flora Ransom? - Yes. - Right! We're going to see her. I have a few questions to ask that murderous woman. Excuse me. - Have a good time. - I am not going to have a good time! Is Mrs Ransom in? She's out but we are expecting her back soon. Come in. Thank you. My name's Bastable. I'm the lucky fellow she's consented to marry. She's a widow, you know. This way. Oh, was Flora expecting you? - I hardly think so. - Oh. Let me introduce myself. My name is Mayley, Lord Mayley, and this is Miss Right. Oh, congratulations! No, no. That's her name. Her name? Oh, how do you do? Yes... Would you care for a glass of sherry while you wait? Yes, please. Er, has Mrs Ransom been a widow very long? Oh, yes. Many years. Yes. Many, many, years. Her poor husband died out east in rather mysterious circumstances. - Oh? - Yes. Drowned, poor fellow. - Oh! - Flora was in England at the time. Oh. - (Doorbell) - Ah! That may be she. She's... (Chuckles) She's apt to forget her keys. Let me do the talking. Good morning, sir. Mrs Ransom? She's out but we expect her back, if you'd care to come in. Well, I am, sir, aren't I? - Nothing to worry about, sir. - Oh, I'm sure there's not. I'm inquiring about a missing cabinet last seen in her possession. - I don't know if you know anything? - I've no idea. Now, please... - Well, won't you come in? - Yes, thank you. This is Lord...? - How do you do? - And this is Miss, um...? This is a most genial gentleman from the police. - Pleased to meet you. - Will you have a glass of sherry? Well, I'm not supposed to on duty, if you'll pardon the... word... but a small one for medicinal purposes. - Splendid. - Yes. Well, for what we are about to receive... Oh, Mumsie, need we flee the country? If we made a clean breast of it... Murdering a stranger by mistake? Go and finish off that trunk. How you can use that of all trunks? (Screams) - Now what? - It's... It's Daddy Batty. He would come! Get rid of him. We're going on holiday, remember? Well, let me in. He seems to... Well, he has... - a female. - A female? ! Cedric! Why, you brazen hussy! - Good heavens. They're asleep! - Mumsie, look! Sergeant... The police, they found out! They've doped themselves. We may still get away. - Mumsie, look! His moustache! - They're onto us all right. He's a plain-clothes brute disguised as an ordinary policeman. We must get an earlier plane. Stand guard while I finish packing. - What's this for? - To crown him with if he wakes. - No! - In for a penny, in for a pound. (Screams) No! No! Another? ! Who is he? - It's him! - Him? - It's him! It can't be but it is! - Him who? The one we drowned! - He's come back! - Ethel, stop it! Are you sure? Back from the dead and still so happy! (Shrieks) Stop it! Control yourself! Here. Drink this. Here. Mumsie... - You... - No! - You! - No, Ethel! Ethel! Oh! Ohh! (Distant chatter) ...tomorrow night is my deadline. I beg your pardon. Quite a congregation. Oh, am I interrupting something? Yes, Cedric. We're working out a plot. That's curious. It's dark already. - I seem to have... - Dropped off? Yes, Cedric. - Ethel will find you a taxi. - Taxi? Oh, thank you very much. Before I dropped off, didn't you have a moustache, Sergeant? Yes, Cedric. That dropped off, too. Away with you. Well, good luck to your endeavours. Thank you. We'll need it. Oh, dear. Oh... - Now, where were we? - My plan. I'll polish him off but I'll need an alibi from you. Hey! I asked you to sit down. Get that thing out of my face. I've been abducted by aliens. You think I care about your little toy trumpet? ( group gasps ) RAY: You sit down, hero, or I will shoot your bride-to-be. DR PENZLER: Ray, I'm sure if we talk about this, we can work it out. Ray, listen to Dr Penzler. It's gonna be all right. DR PENZLER: Give me the gun. Give me the gun. Please, give it to her, Ray. ( phone rings ) ( people scream ) Can't think with the phone ringing. Dorothy, get over to the window and shut the blinds. The rest of you stay put. Don't do anything stupid. Come on, Dorothy! All right, back with the others. ( cell phone rings ) What's that? Whose is that? Is that you? Yeah. - Answer it. - You sure? Just don't say anything stupid, huh? Okay. Hello? Ni-Ni-Nina, it's really not a good time. Allie doesn't run off, Nina. That's not something she does. I-I can't. It's really hard to explain. - Hang up. - My daughter's missing. - Hang up the phone. - You can just wait. Is she okay? - Yeah, she's all right. - How do you know? . I know. She's scared, but she's all right. Listen, Nina-- End the damn call, Lisa. Hang up now. ( gunshot, people scream ) Oh, my God. ( Charlie gasping ) ( group gasps ) Help me sit him up. DR PENZLER: It's all right. Come on. - There you go. - Oh, my God. CHARLIE: Cellophane. - What? - Cellophane. Cellophane. Somebody find some cellophane somewhere. All right, he's got it. Get it off. I've got a scarf! I've got a scarf! Where are you going? I'm getting my scarf because you shot him, Ray! Ray, Charlie is really hurt. We've gotta get him to a hospital. I guess I wasn't that much help to you after all, was I? This doesn't have to get any worse, Ray. Everything gets worse, Dr Penzler. Every stinking thing in this world. What are you gonna do? Let me think! I gotta think. Who else has a cell phone? Um...turn 'em off and slide 'em over to me. - Ray, it's in my coat. - Go ahead. - What happens now, Ray? - I'm thinking. There's no time, Ray. Charlie doesn't have that kind of time. Okay... I want you to call the FBI. You know which one of these is yours? The little flip phone. This one? What should I tell them? The FBI, Ray. What should I tell them? Um...tell 'em I'm armed, and I'm gonna have to start shooting people if my demands aren't met. Oh, God. We're gonna die. We're gonna die. Just shut up! I'm only gonna shoot you if they don't do what I'm asking them. - Ray? - What? What demands? What are you asking them to do? Tell 'em I wanna talk to the person in charge of their, um... you know, whatever they call it, their--their extraterrestrial project. You want Will Smith or Tommy Lee Jones? Cynthia, you're not helping. I'm not sure who I should be asking for. Dr Penzler, just make the call. All right, all right. FBI, please. What are you gonna do once you get to somebody in charge? I'm gonna make my demands. You're gonna call the federal government and say, "Let me speak to the man in charge of your super-secret operation because, if I don't, I'll shoot a few people That's pathetic is what that is. Well, no one ever said that Ray wasn't pathetic. CYNTHIA: I knew I never should've joined this damn group. This is like White people land. Do you know how many Asian people have been abducted since 1947 ? Will you please shut up? Maybe seven, and you're looking at one of them. So I decide to be open and honest about it, and this is what I get-- I'm abducted by Homer Simpson. White people land. Hello. Hello. Is this the--the FBI? - You got 'em on the phone? - Um, yes. Uh-huh. See? This is, um, Dr Harriet Penzler. I'm hoping you can help me. I have a bit of a problem here. DR PENZLER: Yes. Um, I have a group of people here, and one of them's been shot. The--the man who shot him... Lisa, what are you doing? DR PENZLER: And, um... hold on a minute. EVERYONE: Lisa? Sit down. Where do you think you're going? Isn't this sweet? Now we got the whole happy family. Allie...it's okay. Come here. Come here. It's okay. DR PENZLER: Ten adults and one child. That's right, exactly. Sit down. Okay, here's the thing. I don't want any cops. I don't want any hostage negotiator or any of that Dog Day Afternoon crap... Everything's gonna be okay. I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you. RAY: One SWAT team or anything, I start shooting these people. Good. I want someone here in 15 minutes. There is a problem here right now, Allie, but it's gonna be all right. Ray is just a little angry. "Ray is just a little angry"? No, Ray is majorly pissed off. I mean, you should be angry, too. Look what they did to you and what's-his-name--Charlie. Look at that! I mean, how can you sit here and let that kind of thing go unanswered? Come on, we don't need to talk about that. What, we're not supposed to tell Allie she's a test-tube baby? You sorry bastard. Hey... Charlie's hurt. Yeah. Is he going to be all right? I don't know, honey. If Ray will let us get him to the hospital... No one's going anywhere until I get what I want. ( knock on door ) GUARD: Campus security. Dr Penzler? We had a report of a gunshot. Hands up. Get your hands up. Yeah, you keep 'em up there. Okay. Here's the situation. I'm holding these people hostage, all right? I've already shot one of them. I'm angry and unpredictable. Look at me! What we're doing here, we're waiting for the FBI. There's two more security officers coming from other parts of the campus. Yeah, so? What do you want me to do about them? I want you to go out there and talk to them. I want you all to come up with something to clear this place out, okay? Say something exploded, say anything you want. Just keep the world away from me till the FBI gets here, okay? Hey, don't be stupid. A lot of people are gonna get killed. You can go now. What are you doing, Ray? What do you think you're gonna get done? We live in a world that's out of our control. You should know that better than anyone. I mean, things happen, right? What is that, God's will? The hell with that. We all feel that way sometimes-- Spare me the couch, Dr Penzler. I'm not a crazy person. I mean, things really happen to me, and I'm sick and tired of nobody believing me but you fruit loops. What am I gonna do? Okay, so it's very simple. The government is gonna come clean on national TV. They're gonna tell the world this is all real, and then no one... no one will ever think I'm crazy again. Answer your question? We do exactly what he wants. We clear the area, evacuate the building, keep the students and faculty safe. By then, the FBI will be here, and then it will all be their problem. - Start setting up the barricades. - Right away. Something frightened you. That's why you came here? I don't really know what happened. There were some people. And you felt as if they were coming after you? - And I started to run... - But? And then... I don't know what happened. You did something. I think so. GUARD: This way, folks. Come down this way as quickly as you can. SECOND GUARD: All right, folks, calmly. This way. Quickly as you can, please move down. Just follow them. Thank you. Right through the barricades there. That's right. Do you wanna know what I'm worried about? I wanna know who's gonna feed my cats. We'll all be out of here soon. You'll be home to feed them yourself. And what if that doesn't happen? Relax, Dorothy. The aliens'll feed 'em. Yeah, they're old friends of your cats, right? What? What are you looking at? You really think if you're cruel enough to other people, all your own misery will go away? No. Just keeps my mind off it for a while. RAY: Gas trucks. Nice touch. ( tyres screech ) ( cell phone rings ) ( rings ) Answer it. Yes? It's for you. Sit down. Yeah? Okay. I see you. What do I want? How about a world cruise and a winning lottery ticket? ( chuckles ) Why don't you come up here? We can talk about it. Just you. Your little friends can wait down there. Hey, sit down. What do you think you're doing? I'm gonna get some ice for my neck because you hurt me. And tomorrow morning, after the FBI either lock you up or shoot you dead, I'm gonna have to get up and go to work like any other day, and I'd just as soon do that looking as fresh and pretty as possible. Get some water for Charlie, will you please, Cynthia? CYNTHIA: Yeah. Anybody else? - Is that okay? - Yeah. Thanks. We got to get him out of here, Ray. Yeah? Let's just hope this lady coming up the stairs now feels the same way about that as you do. I felt good about this guy as soon as I saw him. LISA: Me, too. ( knock on door ) Answer it. Come on. Out of the way, Dr Penzler. Let me see her. Are you the one who asked for the FBI? ( scoffs ) Yeah. I'm here. You can talk to me. Did anyone tell you what this was all about? Man in therapist's office holding ten hostages demands FBI agent. I asked for someone from the FBI extraterrestrial project. Someone who knows about aliens. You mean, like on X-Fiies? I'm the one you want. RAY: Okay. Let me bring you up to speed on our situation here. I shot him. And he's gonna die if he doesn't get medical attention. That's one. After that, if I don't get what I ask for, these people, they're just fish in a barrel to me, you understand that? That was the lady in the park, the one who tried to grab me. RAY: You understand? This is what I want you to do. I want you to go public. Go public? Call the New York Times, call CNN. Tell 'em everything you know, tell 'em this is all real. You just signed our death warrant. - You think she cares about killing 11-- - Shut up! She's not gonna call CNN, Ray. She's gonna have us all killed. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to make that call. My people have a very old-fashioned, Cold-War slant on things. It's not right...keeping something like this secret as I'm sure everyone here would agree. This is news that belongs to the world. How do you know she's from the government, Ray? How do you know she's not one of them? Sit down. Why don't you let the little girl come with me? It's the kind of gesture that would go a long way. Give me the girl, and I promise, I'll do everything I can for you. WILSON: Look at the eyes, Ray. You see? Those are alien eyes. RAY: Wilson, shut up. Let me have the girl. Let Allie go, Ray. She doesn't have to get hurt. Allie, stand up. Stand up. You've got something I want, now I've got something you want. Get out. Get out! MAN: Clear it off the south perimeter! MAN: Here comes your dad. The rooms here also-- What's the situation? He's gonna kill the girl unless we call CNN and tell the world we're not alone. You two were going to pick her up. This was supposed to be easy. It got a little complicated. I'm handling it. How? . I say what I have to, promise him anything he wants. Just make sure the girl doesn't get hurt. No one's going to get killed here today. - Hey. - Hey. You got a nice move to the post. That kid yesterday thought he could get one past you, but you were right there. What I do is I fool myself. I make myself believe I'm really going to cover. Because I believe it, he believes it. How do you get yourself over to the post? I don't know. I'm afraid if I ever stop to think about it, it won't work anymore. Do you know why you're here? Do you know what this is about? I'm not sure yet, but I think we're gonna find out soon. This is the year for the "big ideas," right? ( groans ) Hey...hey. - I may pass out here. - No, you won't. - Do you know CPR? - Uh, n-no. You're gonna need to take my right arm and put it across my chest. Okay. Make sure I don't roll over. Then what do I do? You're gonna have to give me mouth-to-mouth. I'm sorry I said those things about the way you live. I was scared. It's like Allie said--people get mean when they get scared. All right. She's a wonderful girl, Lisa. You did great. You want CNN here so badly, why don't you call 'em yourself? Because they'd just think he was crazy, and he wants everyone to know that he isn't crazy at all. ( cell phone rings ) Yeah? Okay. The media'll be here in 15 minutes. We're almost home, fruit loops. ( gunshot ) ( everyone screams ) Get down. Who took that shot? ( cell phone rings ) What the hell do you think you're doing? ! What'd you think would happen if you tried something like that? It was a miscommunication. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. You're damn right it won't! Next time something like that happens the little girl is coming out of the window with a bullet in her head. ERIC: Mary. Oh, what the hell, Ray? Leave the little girl alone. You stay right there. You sad little man. Who do you think you are? God? You shut up. He's not God, Dorothy. He's just a poor excuse for a man. A man without any faith. Faith? You're gonna talk to me about faith? God comes down and, pluck, there goes your son, no more Luke. Bye-bye. Why? Dale, why? Because He's up in His Heaven and all's right with the world? Or because we live in a stinking sewer where nothing makes one bit of sense? RAY: But you have faith. Your son dies for no reason, but you have faith. You get taken and tortured, but you have faith. ( Ray laughs ) If I didn't, then I wouldn't have any reason to go on living. Then you crawl away and you die, because this right here-- this is as much sense as the world will ever make. What are you doing? I told you I didn't want anyone killed. What am I doing? I'm trying to keep the little girl alive. I put a man up there, I told him if he had a clean shot, he should take it. And he missed, and we'll be lucky to get her out alive. Pull everybody back. And do what? What do you suggest? We should call CNN for him? This little girl is everything. She's what it's all about. We can't afford to lose her. ( cell phone rings ) Yes. Ray. I am so sorry about what happened by the window. There are some people out here who've seen too many Lethai Weapon movies. Look up at the window. You get me what I want. Do it now. RAY: Go sit down with your mum and dad. You don't have to be scared, Mum. This is all going to be all right. A lot of things are going to happen because of this. That's all. But it's going to be all right. You better hope you're right, or you're gonna have to start praying for a little intervention from your grandfather's side of the family. You're not gonna get it any cleaner. He's gonna kill her. We've gotta take him out. I'm not gonna be a party to any more killing, Mary. I'm done with that. I don't think you are, Dad. You know who's in there, right, besides the little girl? Her mother and her father--Charlie. That means he knows. And that's two people with a lot of information that have had some pretty bad experiences with us over the years. They have to go. Dr Penzler, too. I can't risk a leak. It's too important. They don't matter anymore. It's all about Allie. You're not in charge here, Mary. I am. Take a step back. Calm down. I'm sorry. You're right. Just, the two of them having gotten together has made me a little nervous. - They could really gum us up. - No one's getting killed here, Mary. Of course not. CYNTHIA: I got to go to the bathroom. Grab a cup. Knock yourself out. Lisa, hows he doing? He's still breathing. Are you all right? I just don't want any more bad news. Mr Watson? Luke, when he died, he wasn't mad at you anymore. DALE: He wasn't? He knew. It was just one of those things that happens. He was growing up, and that was hard for you both. He loved you very, very much, Mr Watson. And that's what he was thinking when he died. I just wish I could see him one more time. I wish I could tell him that I was sorry. He knows, Mr Watson. He knows. ( cries ) It's okay, Dad. You can let go. Now I can see why those people want you so badly. When it gets dark, we shoot for the windows again. At the same time, we bring two men through the hallway. He'll be down on the floor, won't be looking to the door. We've got a man up in the heating ducts. He'll coordinate by earphone, drop down through at the same time the two men from the hall enter. And then he turns and shoots the girl. That room is covered by snipers. These men know what they're doing. It all goes by the numbers, we take him out. - And the others? - Not a problem. I don't want my father to see you do it. You look like a college kid doing his homework. - What are you working on? - Oh, just a little theory. Their craft was, I like to call it, thought-powered. Allie may be a stronger manifestation of that power, that energy. How long have you been sleeping with my daughter? About six years. You get some kind of sick pleasure from that, the boss' daughter? "Boss"? I thought we were friends. I love Mary. And I think she loves me. I want your desk cleaned out by tomorrow. After this is over, I'll be going back to Maine. I don't wanna see you there when I go into the office. How you feeling? What's happening to me? - It's in her DNA, isn't it? - That's what makes her special. Mum... I never believed that part of your story-- "My grandfather was an alien." - Allie... - Your dad--could he do things? I never saw it, but, yes, he could. - But you never could. - I can play drums and sing harmony. A lot of people would tell you that's amazing. There's you and me. The way I know where you are, how you're feeling, if you're safe. I always figured that was just because I'm your only daughter and you love me so much. Yeah, I suppose it could be that. It's what made your dad sick, isn't it, doing these things? You're not my dad, honey. You've got a lot of other things in you. You've got Charlie's family, too. MAN: Everybody in position? He's not gonna last much longer. You got a lot of hell on your plate. MAN: What are we doing here, Ray? This man needs help. Are you just gonna sit there while he bleeds to death? Nothing you do is going to change anything about what happened to you, Mr Morrison. What are you talking about? That man in the woods when you were eight. The one that took you in that shed. He wasn't from another planet. He was just mean and crazy. You shut up about that. You're just going to hurt more people, that's all. It's not going to make what happened to you go away. Shut up! - LISA: Allie... - It would be easier, wouldn't it? Blame it on them. They came down and took you. You stop it. It's a lot scarier to think that the monsters might be us. Shut up! - Ray! - You shut up right now! Ray! She doesn't mean it! She's a little kid. She doesn't know what she's saying. DOROTHY: One day, you're gonna stand in front of the Lord, and you're gonna have to explain what happened here today. You are gonna have to explain. I'm not the one who has the explaining to do. Dale's son--explain that. Explain cancer. Explain war. Explain the whole damn thing to me just one time... so I can understand why everything has to be so hard. ( sobs ) Oh, God. I'm sorry I hurt him. Oh, God, I'm so sorry. Allie... LISA: Allie... What are you doing, Allie? Charlie... Look at me. Look at me. Look at me, Dad. He's all right? What do you think we ought to do now? . ( cell phone rings ) Yes, Ray? Heiio, Ray? No. This is Allie. We're all going to come out of the building now. Please tell everybody not to shoot. I'll go with you. All right. They're coming down. She says she'll come with us if we let the others go. Everybody set? - Mary...you can't do this. - Do what? You can't kill anyone. What makes you think they'll let you? They don't care about Lisa and Charlie now any more than we do. It's all about Allie. Then where are they? We tried to pick up Lisa. Lisa was helpless. Allie can take care of herself. Then what makes you think any of this will work? I don't know if it's gonna work. At least I'm not afraid to try. Mary, don't do this. Listen to me. I-I know this. Walk away. Even if you lose the project, walk away... before you do something you can't walk away from. MAN: Here they come. Why don't you just fade away? You're a burden to the project. You don't have the stomach for it, and you don't have the brains. You have no idea what I'm capable of? What I've done? I won't have any more blood on my hands. Everybody set? Get a tight lead on that subject. Run away! Take the little girl! It's a trick! Run! It's a trick! WOMAN: Oh, my God. It's okay. Come on! I'll take care of you. Come on. MARY: It's okay. Keep coming. I'll take care of you all. Come on. It's okay. It's all right. Keep coming. I'll take care of you. Come on. ( laughs ) ALLIE: Miss Crawford. I'm ready to go with you now. Little girl... I love the way your mind works. Subtitle by Hovilmist The Conquest Of The Pole The conquest of the North pole Fantastic aerial journey over north sea and north pole. Fantastic film in two parts. Part I The scholars of the whole world meet to discuss a means for the reaching of the north pole. A delegation of Suffragettes seeks to interrupt in vain the serious work of the meeting The meeting selects the committee, which will have the honor to take in the marvelous airplane of professor Klaps Platz The professor demonstrates his flight apparatus, which is to reach the glaciers of the north pole The electrical factory, where professor created his work The Suffragettes, which the congress rejected, tries in vain, to participate in the conquest of the north pole Professor Klaps and its companions begin their travel preparations The scholars, who could not get into professor Klaps' flight apparatus, seek to join the expedition by different other means The automobiles try to join the expedition as well The masters of air are not afraid of a danger End of Part I Part II As king of the air the professor flies around the stars and visits Zodiac In vain the tempest seeks to prevent their victory run The fameous apparatus lands at the pole The secret of the north pole. The snow giant. The magnetic needle, the axle of the pole After the victory. The aero-nautical club celebrates its hero. The End This film was shot in 1912 and due to the equipment used at the time it has no soundtrack THE WAR FOR INDEPENDENCE The Romanian -Russian - Turkish war 1877 Shot with the help of the Romanian Army and the artists of the Bucharest National Theatre. During peace time (in the village) The country was in danger His Highness the king Carol I of Romania decrees the mobilization of the army. The mobilization. Penes and Rodica We were 9 when we left the town of Vaslui At Calafat. Cobuz's Death. This is the music that I like! Over the Danube Russians repelled by the Turks. Posing the new flags. The Turks gathered a lot of troops at Plevna and they are crushing us. Cross the Danube any way you want. Nicolas. Religious ceremony for the flags. Distributing the new flags. Crossing the Danube 19th - 20th of July 1877 The patrols cross. Building the bridge. His Highness the Tsar of the Russians entrusted me with the supreme command of both allied armies operating around Plevna. Make our ancestors flag rise again remembering the glorious days of Michael the Brave and Stephen the Great. Proceed, troops, trusting God for our right, for the Romanian Independence. Carol. The embarking. The landing. The main landing. The fight. The pursuit of the Turks. The attack. A Turkish patrol. Osman Pasha, the commander of the Turkish army at Plevna. The Romanians were repelled. His Highness King Carol encourages them. "Through fire and smoke..." Claiming Grivita the first time. The soldier Grigore Ioan takes the Turkish flag. Consigning the flag. The Russian attack at the Green Mountains. General Skobeleff. The valley of despair. The cease-fire. Burying the dead. His Highness the Tsar Alexander the Second and His Highness King Carol I visit the wounded. Fighting around Plevna. A Turkish attack. Go! Go! Go! The fall of Plevna 28th of November 1877. The Turks leaving Plevna. Crossing the river Vid. The Turkish attack. The Russian position. The Romanian intervention. Osman Pasha was wounded. The main attack. Opanez. His Highness King Carol I follows the battle. The Cavalry attack. The Infantry attack. The Turks surrender. The chaos. After the fall of Plevna Osman Pasha surrenders his sword. His Highness Tsar Alexander II gives back the sword to Osman Pasha. Osman Pasha's departure. The sad convoy. "On the hilly road" After 35 years Celebrating the Romanian Independence. THE END translated and subtitled by finix The inventor. "This will bring my dear little daughter happiness!" At the factory owner. "Leave your plans to me... and the success is certain." "Only courage! The results are shining!" "You've no more business in the factory. The patents are registered in my name only and belong to me." The inventor has meanwhile become most needy and turns for the last time to the one who cheated him. All pleas are in vain. The poor man finds support under his comrades. The inventor is a hero. The conscience of the factory owner triumphs over greed. The hard days are over. The end. Poor Jenny by Urban Gad. Lead Actors Eduard Reinhold - Leo Peukert Fritz Hellmann - O. Braun Foreman Schmidt - Emil Albes His Wife - Paula Helmert Jenny, Their Daughter - ASTA NIELSEN Foreman Schmidt - Emil Albes His Wife - Paula Helmert Jenny, Their Daughter - ASTA NIELSEN Directed by Urban Gad. The morning's work for the young Jenny. After a wild night. Wait for me at 4 o'clock at the front door. The means to an end. Clothes make the man. How to find a REAL life ... An agonizing wait. A gloomy dawn. Homeless. Misled. A proletarian girl also has her honor! A few months later in the big city. Jenny as a dancer. Jenny meets her first love. Shown the door. One year later. Ruined. Jenny celebrates her thirtieth birthday. Announcing the marriage of Mr. Eduard Reinold and Ida Riegel. Farewell to home. Farewell to the beloved. In Night and Ice Sea drama Genuinely based on true story Act I Lowering a boat in the harbor The stewards are carrying suitcases onboard A well-known other(? ) Millia? dar comes with his young wife on board (Toward the front in a slouch hat) The young woman was rescued while her husband drowned, since he was only anxious of helping others The port sides are shut watertight Service on the command bridge The first officer observes passing ships, among others the four funnel steamboat "Augusta-Victoria" on a Hamburg-American route The chapel steward plays "Home Sweet Home" during departure A tour of the decks by the mentioned passengers Passengers' onboard pastime The ship at full speed on high seas during the ill-fated night A sailor will give orders from the look-out on the mast The captain hands over the watch to his first officer, who drowned later, and goes below deck Wireless telegraph service in the station The second telegraphist, who was rescued, at work The first telegraphist, who sacrificed himself and went down with the ship heroically, allows himself to report back The first officer inspects the deck duty Six of the 160 boilers of the giant evaporator, which are all simultaneously holding hundreds of heaters glowing Toilet in Lux apartments for the onboard soiree The small inheritor of billions, which was rescued by his nanny to preserve the Name, since the whole family sacrificed themselves Evening toilet in a Lux cabin Evening's entertainment in the ? Cafe Parisien Some huge icebergs, which extend in front of (? ) a large ice-field, are so close that a collision with the ship appears to be inevitable The captain signaled to the machine room: "Full steam backwards" Collision with the iceberg and its effect on deck and under The first telegraphist receives an instruction to deliver emergency signals ? Von den im wasser schwimmenden mit geretteten passagieren besetzten booten aus hort man die stewart-kapelle an bord spielen "Closer, my god, to you" The boats fishing for passengers who jumped overboard The water that flooded the boiler rooms flooded over causes the boiler to explode Large flames blast from the chimneys The ship sinks deeper still The first telegraphist remains unshaken at his post and sends his radiotelegrams for help incessantly The ship sinks deeper and deeper The ship sinks deeper and deeper ? rescue not ? hoping, the captain releases the first telegraphist of his duty Both have the determination to go down with the ship; they think (? ) only of rescuing the passengers The captain, who is washed overboard by a wave, rescues a drowning person - he brings him on a boat He refuses to be rescued "There's my boat, I go down with it" The End Romeo Juliet From the Shakespeare's drama Romeo Montaigu falls in love with the blond juliet, Capulet's daughter, sworn enemy of her family. Slave of a passion growing in his heart, Romeo can't resist to the desir to see Juliette again. Desperately in love with Romeo, the sweet Juliet refuse to betroth to Thybalt. Romeo, decided to oppose to the wedding of Juliet and Thybalt, compe secretly to a masked ball organized by Capulets. Irritated of the affront made by Romeo, Juliet's father and his supporters challenge their centuries-old rivals, the Montaigus "In order to prevent the return of the civil fights that disturb the city, "Us, Duke of Verona, will sentence to exile "every one, from now on, who'll cross swords against one of his citizens." Romeo comes and begs Juliet to consent to marry him. Romeo, challenged by his rival, Thybalt, Hurt this one in a duel. "Exile penalty was pronounced against Romeo Montaigu, "guilty to have infringed our edict on duel." Romeo Juliet Act Second before leaving in exile, Romeo come to take his leave of Juliet. Ignoring Juliet's secret wedding, His father forces her to accept Thybalt as husband. Brother Laurent gives Juliet an unexpected way to avoid the union she is threatened. This narcotic provokes a deep sleep, Faithfull reflect of the death, which disappears the following day." Tragic wedding Informed by the public rumour, Romeo, believing that Juliet is dead, comes back in Verone to see a last time his love. THE MUSKETEERS OF PIG ALLEY New York's other side. The poor musician goes away to improve his fortune. Later. The little lady meets Snapper Kid, the chief of the Musketeers. Alone. The musician returning with replenished purse, ...meets the Musketeers in Pig Alley. The musician determined to recover his stolen money. A friend tries to cheer the little lady. The little lady at the gangster's ball. Fear of the big boss forces them to settle the fight outside. The gangsters feudal war. One good turn deserves another. Links in the system. YES? DRUGSTORE. MISS JUDITH! PACKAGE! IT'S A CHARGE. TAKE IT, POP. AFTER YOU GO OUT FOR DINNER, I COME BACK AND PERMANENT-FIX THE PLUMBING. Judith: FINE. I USE MY PASS KEY. YOU DON'T WORRY ABOUT NOTHING. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. GOOD NIGHT, POP. GOOD NIGHT! OH. DRUGSTORE AGAIN. I - I THINK I LEFT THE WRONG PACKAGE. A MINUTE LATER, I'D HAVE BEEN IN THE TUB. NO, MY NAME'S ON IT. SORRY. MM-HMM. AAH! CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP MR. MOBLEY, YOU'RE ON THE AIR IN 15 MINUTES. JUST A MINUTE, GUS. OH, BOY! HAVE THE COPY PUT ON THE IDIOT SHEET. PLEASE, MR. MOBLEY. "EVER ON THE ALERT TO SERVE ITS-" MR. LOVING'S OFFICE. TELL THAT BOSS OF YOURS TO STOP PURRING OVER YOUR SHOULDER WHILE HE DICTATES. Shut your obscene face! YOU WANT A DRINK LATER... AT YOUR PLACE? OH, NO. WE'VE TRIED MY PLACE. WHAT WOULD YOU SUGGEST- MADISON SQUARE GARDEN? I'M SORRY, MR. LOVING. THAT MOBLEY- I'VE TOLD HIM AND TOLD HIM. WELL, FRANKLY, NANCY, I DON'T BLAME HIM. I SOMETIMES WISH THESE WALLS WERE NOT MADE OUT OF GLASS. "AND THE KIND NEWS SERVICE, EVER ON THE ALERT... " "EVER ON THE ALERT... " HELLO. GOING HOME, MILDRED? OH, DARLING, I DON'T HAVE TO. THERE ARE TWO SCHOOLS OF THOUGHT ABOUT THAT MINK. ONE IS THAT A SYNDICATE BOUGHT IT, AND THE OTHER IS THAT MARK LOVING SHELLED OUT FOR THE WHOLE THING. WELL, WHY DON'T YOU GET ME ALONE SOME NIGHT, AND I'LL TELL YOU ALL? THAT'S A GOOD OFFER. YOU OUGHT TO FIND OUT JUST HOW GOOD. BYE. HEY! MR. BRIGHT EYES? YES, SIR? SEE WHAT'S IN THE CITY NEWS TICKER, HUH? RIGHT. GET MARK LOVING IN HERE! AND JON DAY GRIFFITH! AND HARRY KRITZER! MR. KYNE? AND ED MOBLEY, TOO! MR. KYNE! YOU PROMISED THE DOCTOR NO MORE WORK- A MURDER STORY HAS JUST COME IN, MISS DODD! IT'S A LULU, AND THEY'RE BLOWING IT! MR. GRIFFITH, MR. KYNE WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU. MM-HMM. GENTLEMEN? MR. GRIFFITH. HMM? OH. I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE MY WIRE SERVICE BEAT BY EVERY OTHER ONE IN THE COUNTRY. WHY, IT'S JUST ANOTHER MURDER. I SUGGEST THAT THE LIFE OF A HUMAN BEING IS NOT BENEATH YOUR CONSIDERATION. ALL RIGHT. I'LL GET ONTO IT MYSELF. JON? MAY I REMIND YOU THAT YOUR FIRST EDITION IS ON THE STREET AT 7 P.M.? ALL I'VE GOT LEFT IS THE FINAL. I'LL PUT THIS ON PAGE 2. HOW MANY WOMEN IN THE UNITED STATES USE LIPSTICK? HOW MANY WOMEN ARE THERE? I WANT EVERY ONE OF THEM SCARED SILLY EVERY TIME SHE PUTS ANY ON! CALL THIS BABY "THE LIPSTICK KILLER"- SMACK ACROSS THE FRONT PAGE! WHATEVER YOU SAY, AMOS. HOW ABOUT PICTURES? I'LL SEND THE MEN OUT RIGHT AWAY. Kyne: AND I'LL SEND YOU A SPECIAL LETTER OF COMMENDATION. NOW, GET OUT OF HERE, BOTH OF YOU, AND GET TO WORK. DO YOU WANT ME TO FEATURE THIS THING ON MY TELECAST? ED, I'M REAL JUMPY. SO AM I. I'M ON THE AIR IN 4 MINUTES. WHO'S GOING TO RUN THE WHOLE SHOW WHEN MY CARBURETOR CONKS OUT? YOU'LL DO THAT YOURSELF FOR MANY A YEAR. KYNE ENTERPRISES... SOMETHING THAT'S TAKEN A LIFETIME OF BRAINS AND GUTS TO BUILD... AND IN ALL THAT LIFETIME, I FIND I'VE MADE ONLY TWO BIG MISTAKES. WELL, I'M SURPRISED THAT YOU ADMIT TO THAT MANY. ONE-MY SON WALTER. I KILLED HIM WITH KINDNESS: POLO PONIES, YACHTS, WOMEN... ESPECIALLY WOMEN HE MARRIED. SECOND- I THINK YOU'RE LOOKING IN MY DIRECTION. WHY DIDN'T YOU WANT TO FILL MY SHOES, ED? WHERE WAS YOUR AMBITION? I'M CONTENT THE WAY I AM: JUST TO BE ABLE TO WRITE A BOOK NOW AND THEN, KEEP MY NOSE CLEAN... I HAVE NO APPETITE FOR POWER. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT POWER. IT'S A BIGGER THING- THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE FREE PRESS TO THE PEOPLE. IN THIS COUNTRY, IT'S THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE THE DECISIONS. IF THEY'RE TO MAKE THEIR DECISIONS RIGHT, THEY HAVE TO HAVE ALL THE FACTS THAT WE- OH, I DIDN'T MEAN TO CUT YOU OFF, BUT... AMOS! Announcer: IT'S 11:00, AMOS! AMOS! AND KYNE ENTERPRISES, INCLUDING THE KYNE NEWSPAPERS, KYNE PRESS SERVICE, KYNE PHOTO SERVICE, AND KYNE WEEKLY, PRESENT THE DISTINGUISHED AUTHOR, COLUMNIST, AND PULITZER PRIZE WINNER... FILM. NO SCRIPT. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MOST NEWSMEN VALUE A BEAT. HERE'S ONE I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE. A FEW MOMENTS AGO, AMOS KYNE PASSED AWAY... HELLO? YES? Woman: THE GENTLEMEN ARE HERE, MR. KYNE. WHERE DID THEY LOCATE HIM? AT THE STORK CLUB. WHERE ELSE? YES, SIR. YOU THREE. ED'S TO WAIT. GENTLEMEN, EXCEPT FOR HARRY, I'M AFRAID I DON'T KNOW YOU. IT IS TERRIBLE ABOUT YOUR FATHER. YES. YOU ARE, UH... MARK LOVING? Loving: THAT'S RIGHT. AND JUST WHAT DO YOU DO AROUND HERE? I RUN KYNE NEWSWIRE SERVICE-KNS. I PRESUME YOU'VE CHECKED OUR HANDLING OF YOUR FATHER'S DEATH. ANY SUGGESTIONS? THE NEWSWIRE. YES, UH... YES, WE MUST TALK ABOUT THAT SOON. YOU MUST BE, UH... JON DAY GRIFFITH. I SWEEP UP THE FLOOR, AND I'M EDITOR OF THE SENTINEL. I'M ALSO ADVISORY EDITOR OF THE OTHER 9 PAPERS. ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FACT THAT A CHEAP MURDER WAS FEATURED ON THE SAME FRONT PAGE AS THE DEATH OF MY FATHER? THE OLD MAN WANTED THE STORY PLAYED UP BIG. 'COURSE, HE DIDN'T KNOW THEN HE WAS GOING TO BE NEWS. BUT INASMUCH AS IT WAS HIS LAST REQUEST- WALTER, I HAVE ARRANGED A COPYRIGHTED FEATURE ON THE OLD MAN'S LIFE. SHALL I GIVE IT TO MARK TO SEND OVER THE WIRE? WE'LL SEE. HARRY, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. HOW'S DOROTHY? WE MUST HAVE DINNER SOON. I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THREE THAT, AT THE MOMENT, I CONTEMPLATE NO CHANGES IN PERSONNEL. SO FOR THE TIME BEING, NONE OF YOU HAS ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. OH! UH... ON YOUR WAY, WILL YOU TELL MOBLEY TO COME IN? Harry: WHEW... WELL? YOU'RE ON. WHAT- SO, YOU'RE EDWARD MOBLEY. DEEPEST SYMPATHY, MR. KYNE. SIT DOWN. THANK YOU. YOU'RE THE FELLOW WHO WROTE THE BOOK. EVERY TIME THE OLD MAN GOT SORE AT ME, WHICH WAS OFTEN, HE USED TO TALK ABOUT YOU... MOBLEY THIS AND MOBLEY THAT. I GOT PRETTY SICK OF IT. YES, I CAN IMAGINE YOU DID. THOSE THREE WHO WERE JUST IN HERE MADE THEIR OPINION OF ME PRETTY PLAIN- AMOS KYNE'S IDIOT SON. I SUPPOSE YOU FEEL THE SAME. FRANKLY, I DON'T FEEL QUALIFIED TO FEEL ANY WAY ABOUT YOU, MR. KYNE. OTHER PUBLISHERS TOOK THEIR SONS IN AND TAUGHT THEM THE BUSINESS, BUT NOT HIM. TILL I GET THE HANG OF THINGS AROUND HERE, I'M GOING TO NEED SOME HELP- NOT THAT I DON'T INTEND TO RUN THINGS IN MY OWN WAY, FROM BEHIND THE SCENES. I'VE GOT AN IDEA. IT'S A GREAT IDEA, IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF. I'M GOING TO CREATE A NEW JOB- EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR... SOMEONE TO DO THE ACTUAL WORK. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF IT? IT SOUNDS LIKE A STEP YOUR FATHER WOULD HAVE APPROVED. MY FATHER IS DEAD. THIS IS MY PLANT NOW. I'M GOING TO GET MYSELF A GIMMICK- SOMETHING THAT WILL SET THE THREE OF THEM SCRAMBLING FOR THE NEW JOB. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT? I'D RATHER NOT SAY. WHEN I HAVE THEM DANGLING ON THE STRING, WHEN THEY REALIZE THAT I HOLD THEIR ENTIRE LIVES IN MY HANDS... THEY WON'T SNEER. NOW, TELL ME... COULD EVEN HE HAVE THOUGHT UP AN IDEA LIKE THAT? NO. NEVER! ANYTHING FURTHER? NOT FOR NOW. THEN GOOD MORNING. "DEAR WALTER KYNE, "BEFORE YOUR FATHER DIED, I WAS WORKING ON A... "TRYOUT WITH MIDWEST TELEVISION, "WHICH COULD BE IMMENSELY PROFITABLE. "DURING THESE TRYING DAYS OF MOURNING, "I HAVE NOT WANTED TO DISTURB YOU, BUT LET'S HAVE A CONFERENCE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE." ALL RIGHT, NANCY. GET THAT OUT IN THE MORNING. THAT'S ALL. YES, SIR. What's Griffith doing in there for half an hour with Walter Kyne? GOOD NIGHT, MISS DONNER, MR. LOVING. GOOD NIGHT. 'NIGHT. MIL... UNTIL I CLINCH THIS NEW JOB, I'M GOING TO BE LIKE A CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF. OH, LOVE, THE BOYS HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF BETTING LINE. YOU'RE THEIR FAVORITE AND MINE-6 TO 5. IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE. I'M PLUMPING WITH EVERYTHING THAT I CAN THINK OF: THIS MIDWEST DEAL, INFLUENCE... I'VE WRITTEN DOZENS OF LETTERS. I'LL HAVE THE PRESSURE POURING IN, BUT KYNE KEEPS HARPING ON THIS MURDER THING, AS IF SOLVING IT COULD BE A FACTOR. NOW, DO YOU SUPPOSE THAT- WHY NOT? IT DOES CREDIT TO A BETTER BRAIN THAN WALTER KYNE'S. YES. HE'D GET A SCOOP AND AN EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, WITHOUT THE TROUBLE OF MAKING UP HIS LITTLE MIND. THERE'S THE GUY NOW! DARLING, I THOUGHT YOU LIKED JON. Loving: WELL, THERE'S NO ROOM FOR LOVE AROUND HERE NOW. WHAT'S HE DOING WITH GERALD MEADE? Mildred: WELL, DARLING, SOLVING THE MURDER'S THE BIG THING. HE'D NATURALLY WANT THE CRIME-BEAT MAN ON HIS TEAM. SO WHY DON'T YOU TRY AND GET HIM ON YOURS? GRIFFITH'S PROBABLY SEWING HIM UP RIGHT NOW. Mildred: GERALD WOULD SELL HIS MOTHER AND DELIVER. Loving: WELL, THEN, HOW CAN I BE SURE OF HIM? DO I SLEEP WITH HIM? YOU GO TO WORK ON MEADE, AND IF IT WILL EASE YOUR MIND, LOVE, IN A LITTLE WHILE I'LL DROP DOWN TO THE DELL AND, UH, FEEL OUT GRIFFITH. Griffith: HELLO. YES, SIR? BETTER HAVE ANOTHER, CARLO. I'VE BEEN UPSTAIRS WITH WALTER KYNE. A FINE MAN. HE'S A WEAK-SPINED, BLUE-EYED FISH, YOU ASK ME! I DON'T KNOW HIM TOO WELL. WELL, I- MAKE IT 2. NO, MAKE IT 3. Ed: HELLO, JON. HI. Nancy: HI! LET NANCY SIT BETWEEN US. YOU AND I CAN INDIAN-WRESTLE UNDER THE BAR. RYE AND SODA FOR ME, AND I'LL HAVE IT WITH MUSIC. YES, MA'AM. OLD MAN UPSTAIRS IS ROARING LIKE A LION. "GET ME THE KILLER," HE YELLS. "USE ALL YOUR BEST MEN: "REPORTERS, EDITORS, FEATURE MEN, "PHOTOGRAPHERS, WIRE SERVICE MEN, BUT GET ME THE KILLER!" AND THE MAN WHO GETS THE KILLER LANDS THE JOB. UH-HUH. WHO DO YOU BET ON, ED- ON LOVING? LOVING'S SMART, LOVING'S FAST, LOVING KNOWS A LOT OF THE RIGHT PEOPLE, BUT LOVING DOESN'T GET THE JOB. NO? NO. I'M GOING TO GET IT, BECAUSE I SPENT MY YOUTH AND $30,000 ON WHISKEY AND DEVOTION TO THE JOB, BECAUSE I HAVE A LONG-SUFFERING WIFE AND TWO SWELL KIDS, AND BECAUSE YOU AND I TOGETHER ARE GOING TO CRACK THIS MURDER THING. MR. LOVING WANTS ED ON HIS TEAM. YEAH? WELL, HE'S NOT GOING TO HAVE HIM, BECAUSE ED'S GOING TO HELP ME! AND LET ME GET ONE THING CLEAR- I DON'T PROMISE YOU A THING FOR YOURSELF. NOT A THING! WELL, LET ME MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, JON. I DON'T CARE WHO GETS THE JOB. FOR ONE THING, I'VE BEEN OFF A CRIME BEAT FOR 5 YEARS, AND FOR ANOTHER, I'M NOT GOING TO GET MY THROAT TORN OPEN IN ANY DOGFIGHT. NOW, ED, I'VE BEEN REAL NICE TO YOU. NANCY, TELL ED I'VE BEEN REAL NICE TO HIM. Mildred: I KNEW IT ALL ALONG... JUST KNEW I WAS GOING TO FIND A FRIENDLY FACE DOWN HERE. WELL, MY FACE IS FRIENDLY. HI. HELLO, YOU LOVELY PEOPLE. I ALWAYS SEE YOU TWO TOGETHER, DON'T I? YOU COULD DO A COLUMN ABOUT IT. OH, I'D LOVE TO, DARLING. I'M ALL FOR ROMANCE. HAVE A RUM ON THE ROCKS OR SOMETHING. WELL, NOW, THANK YOU, JON. THAT'S RIGHT FRIENDLY OF YOU. AND I DO THINK WE SHOULD ALL BE VERY FRIENDLY DURING THESE TRYING TIMES. HOW IS MARK? OH, HE'S DRIVING HOME YOU-KNOW-WHO. WHO IS YOU-KNOW-WHO? JON, WALTER- WALTER KYNE. I UNDERSTAND HONEST HARRY KRITZER'S HAVING DINNER THERE. ONE AFTERNOON AT THE SANDS IN VEGAS, I WAS TAKING A SWIM. THEN I LOOKED UP AND SAW DOROTHY SITTING BY THE POOL. SAW HER LEGS FIRST- THOSE BEAUTIFUL, LONG LEGS. HA HA HA! SO I MADE KIND OF A ROUGH-AND-READY APPROACH. I'LL NEVER FORGET WHAT SHE ANSWERED - TWO WORDS. YOU KNOW WHAT SHE ANSWERED, HARRY? UH, NO, I DON'T. I SAID, "WINDOW SHOPPING?" Kyne: YES. HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA. SO, 3 NIGHTS LATER, I SETTLED FOR MARRIAGE! EXCUSE ME, SIR. HMM? MR. GRIFFITH IS WAITING ON THE TELEPHONE. OH, I'LL TAKE IT OUTSIDE. EXCUSE ME. SIT NEXT TO ME, HARRY. UH-UH. I DON'T LIKE THE WALLS IN THIS ROOM. LOOK LIKE THEY'VE GOT SLIDING PANELS. COWARD. HE'S PROBABLY GOT MICROPHONES BEHIND THOSE PICTURES, TOO. WELL, YOU DON'T NEED TO KISS ME SO LOUD. WHEN'S THE NEXT TIME YOU CAN VISIT YOUR MOTHER? TOMORROW NIGHT... I HOPE. I DON'T LIKE KEEPING UP THIS "MOTHER" BUSINESS. EVERY TIME I MENTION MOTHER TO WALTER, I CAN'T KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE. HOW DO YOU THINK I STAND IN THE RACE, DARLING? OH, FAR BEHIND, DARLING, FAR BEHIND. WELL, DARLING, I DON'T THINK SO. LET GRIFFITH AND LOVING BEAT THEIR BRAINS OUT. WHAT CHANCE HAVE I GOT- SEND OUT A CAMERAMAN? AM I A CRIME CATCHER? UH-UH. I'LL PLAY IT MY OWN WAY... AS WALTER'S BEST FRIEND. WITH... WALTER'S BEST WIFE? I DON'T WANT TO INVOLVE YOU. MY HERO. YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO'S MOVED IN HERE- HARRY KRITZER. HONEST HARRY? VERY MYSTERIOUS- NO NAME ON HIS MAILBOX. HIDEAWAY? DO YOU SUPPOSE OLD HARRY'S GOT A BLONDE STASHED AWAY ON THE SIDE? IF HE EVER SEES ME, HE'LL DIE. HE'S RIGHT ACROSS THE HALL FROM ME. OH? YOU KNOW, MY DARLING, AS I WAS TELLING YOU- BETWEEN THE FOURTH AND THE FIFTH HIGHBALL, A MOST INTELLIGENT THING TO DO IS TO FIND OUT BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED- THE MORE THE BETTER. I KNOW QUITE A LOT ABOUT YOU NOW: WENT TO SCHOOL NOT FAR FROM HERE; PLAYED STOOP BALL AGAINST THE SIDEWALLS OF ENGINE COMPANY NUMBER 18- I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF KNOWLEDGE. I KNOW YOU DIDN'T. I'M JUST TRYING TO HEAD OFF A DISASTER. YOU KNOW, YOU'VE SEEN THESE COUPLES- THERE'S A BIG GUY, 6 FOOT 7, AND A ITTY BITTY GIRL, 4 FEET 11. HOW DO THEY GET ALONG? SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IF HE LIKES MUSIC, AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW IF HE LIKES BOOKS. MAYBE THEY GET MARRIED TO FIND OUT. WELL, I KNOW ABOUT ALL I'M LIKELY TO FIND OUT TONIGHT. GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. YOU KNOW... YOU HAVE VERY NICE LEGS. AREN'T YOU SWEET? NICE NYLON STOCKINGS, TOO. WHAT HOLDS YOUR STOCKINGS UP? THERE'S A LOT YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU. I DIDN'T ASK MY MOTHER. I ASKED YOU. IT'S, UH... SIMPLY A MATTER OF SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH. HADN'T WE SAID GOOD NIGHT BEFORE YOU GOT INTERESTED IN MY NYLONS? I CAN'T REMEMBER WHEN I WASN'T INTERESTED. DON'T YOU EVER WAIT FOR ANYTHING TO BE OFFERED? OK, I'M OPEN TO AN OFFER. OK... IF IT WILL GET RID OF YOU. I SHOULD HAVE A PERMIT. TO KISS ME? HMM! AN EXPLORER'S PERMIT. DO EXPLORERS HAVE TO HAVE PERMITS? THEY SHOULD HAVE, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE HEADED FOR UNCHARTED TERRITORY. OH, FORGIVE ME, ANGEL. I KNOW NOT WHAT I SAY. GOOD NIGHT, DRUNK. OH, MAY I USE YOUR TELEPHONE? HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE? TEMPER, TEMPER. KYNE ENTERPRISES. OH, YEAH, MR. MOBLEY. OH, GET GERALD MEADE FOR ME. GET HIM OUT OF BED- ANYBODY'S BED. MR. MOBLEY, YOU'RE REAL GEORGE. GERALD... THAT FELTON GIRL WHO WAS MURDERED- DID SHE HAVE A BUTTON LOCK ON HER DOOR? YEAH. WHY ARE YOU SO INTERESTED? OH, I'M AN EMPLOYEE OF THE SOCIETY FOR THE PROTECTION OF VIRTUOUS MAIDENS. YOU OUGHT TO GET A CHAIN LOCK ON THAT DOOR. AW... NANCY'S MAD. TOO MAD TO OFFER A DRINK? IF YOU WANT ONE, FIX IT YOURSELF. YOU'RE DARN RIGHT NANCY'S MAD! WELL, THAT'S A FINE WAY FOR MY FUTURE BRIDE TO BE. OH, YOU DON'T WANT A BRIDE. WHAT YOU WANT IS AN ILLITERATE COMMON-LAW WOMAN. FIX YOU A DRINK? NO, I DON'T WANT TO GET DRUNK WITH YOU. SOMETHING ELSE YOU'D PREFER? THAT MILDRED DONNER IS MORE YOUR TYPE. TRY HER. DON'T YOU SIT THERE AND TELL ME WHO'S MY TYPE. DU VERSTEHST? YOU'RE MY TYPE. HEY, LET ME TELL YOU JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE. ED LOVES NANCY VERY DEARLY... VERY MUCH. ED WANTS TO MARRY NANCY. YOU ONLY SAY THAT WHEN YOU'VE HAD A FEW. WANT ME TO PUT IT IN WRITING? HOW CONVENIENT. THE GREAT REPORTER HAS NO PENCIL. AND A DARN GOOD REPORTER, TOO. AND A DARN GOOD MAN... A MAN WITH GREAT KINDNESS- MAYBE TOO MUCH, BECAUSE IT DAMPENS AMBITION. "AMBITION"? IF YOU MEAN BY THAT, I SHOULD JOIN THE RACE, UH-UH. YOU WATCH, NANCY. THEY'LL ALL BREAK DOWN-ALL THREE OF THEM. MAYBE ONE WON'T. WHICH ONE? THE REPORTER-EDITOR OF THE SENTINEL BUT, STILL AT HEART, A REPORTER... THE ONE WHO OFFERED ME NOTHING FOR MYSELF- A GOOD OFFER- THE OFFER OF A FRIEND. THEN DON'T YOU THINK YOU OUGHT TO HELP HIM? NOBODY EVER HELPED ME. NOW, YOU KNOW THAT ISN'T TRUE! AMOS KYNE DID AND GRIFFITH WOULD... AND I WOULD. I'D DO ANYTHING YOU ASKED ME. YOU BETTER STICK TO YOUR FRIEND. HE'S YOUR TYPE. YOU'RE MY TYPE. SHALL WE PHONE MY MOTHER AND FATHER? AND ASK THEM IF YOU SHOULD MARRY A REPORTER WITHOUT A PENCIL? TO TELL THEM I'M GOING TO. OH, WHAT DO YOU KNOW! IS THAT YOUR BOSS CALLING? DOES HE USUALLY CALL AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING? EVERY NIGHT. HELLO? YES. JUST A MOMENT. IT'S FOR YOU. YES? LISTEN, ED, YOU'RE A REAL GOOD PAL OF LIEUTENANT KAUFMAN'S, AREN'T YOU? BURT? WE WENT TO THE SAME SCHOOL TOGETHER, FOUGHT TOGETHER, DATED JANICE BEHIND THE SAXOPHONES IN HER FATHER'S HOCKSHOP. WHY? THEY'VE GOT SOMEBODY, ED. "WHO"? HOW WOULD I KNOW? DONALD DUCK! THE COPS WON'T SAY, BUT KAUFMAN WILL MEET YOU AT HEADQUARTERS. CONGRATULATE ME, JON. I'M ENGAGED. WHAT DO I CARE, YOU'RE ENGAGED! NOW, DO ME A FAVOR, PLEASE, AND GET OVER THERE! WHAT? I ALREADY SENT MEADE, AND WHERE DO YOU THINK I LOCATED HIM? IN LOVING'S APARTMENT. ED, STICK WITH ME! BUT IT'S MORNING, SO IT'S TUESDAY - MY DAY OFF! ARE YOU MY FRIEND OR NOT? ALL RIGHT. I'LL HANDLE IT JUST THIS ONE TIME, BUT THAT'S ALL. ASK ME, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, IT'S JUST AS WELL. HEY, WHAT ARE THEY DOIN' IN THERE? MAYBE SOME PHOTOGRAPHS, MAYBE THEY'RE QUESTIONING ALREADY. LT. KAUFMAN IS EXPECTING ME - ED MOBLEY. HI, GERALD. HIYA. HELLO, BURT. WHERE WERE YOU? GETTING ENGAGED. NO FOOLING. POOR NANCY. WHO HAVE THEY GOT, BURT? THE JANITOR OF THE GIRL'S BUILDING, BUT YOU CAN'T USE IT BEFORE A GENERAL RELEASE. HE'S IN QUESTIONING. ANY CHANCE OF HAVING A LISTEN? UNDER THE SAME CONDITIONS. AGREED? SURE. Man: SHE WAS KILLED WITH YOUR WRENCH. WHY DO YOU LIE TO US, PILSKY? I DON'T LIE. YES, YOU DO. YOU TOLD US THAT YOU WENT TO JUDITH FELTON'S APARTMENT AT 9:00 AND FOUND HER DEAD. BUT THE PEOPLE AT THE DRUGSTORE TELL US THAT A PACKAGE WAS DELIVERED TO JUDITH FELTON'S AT 8:00, THAT YOU OPENED THE DOOR AND TOOK THE PACKAGE. IS THAT RIGHT? YES... I LIED. I - I WAS FRIGHTENED. THEN YOU DO ADMIT THAT YOU WERE IN THE FELTON APARTMENT AT 8:00. Y - Y-YES. BUT I DON'T KILL! I LEAVE HER WHEN SHE TAKE BATH. WHEN I COME BACK, I FIND HER DEAD. IF YOU WENT AWAY AND CAME BACK, GEORGE, HOW DID YOU GET INTO HER APARTMENT? I USE PASS KEY. THE DOOR WAS LOCKED, THEN, HUH? YES. DID ANYONE ELSE IN THE BUILDING HAVE A PASS KEY? NO. ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL US THAT SOMEBODY WALKED THROUGH A LOCKED DOOR AND KILLED MISS FELTON? I TELL TRUTH. I DON'T KILL HER. I FIND HER DEAD. ALL RIGHT, PILSKY. WE'RE GONNA START ALL OVER FROM THE BEGINNING. HMMM! SUN'S COMING UP. NOT FOR THAT OLD BOY. HE DIDN'T DO IT. YOU KNOW HE DIDN'T. 4 DAYS AND NO RESULTS. SOMEBODY HAD TO BE HAULED IN FOR THE HOWLING PUBLIC. OR THE CRIME COMMISSION. BUT YOU'LL LET HIM GO BEFORE THE DAY'S OVER. WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE? THE EVIDENCE AGAINST HIM IS JUST TOO PAT TO BE TRUE. USE YOUR PHONE? NOT FOR PUBLICATION. HELLO? ED? YEAH. THE JANITOR. IF THAT OLD BOY DID IT, I'LL SIT ON THE HOT SEAT FOR HIM. KEEP MEADE ON IT. I'M GONNA GO HOME AND GET SOME SLEEP. YOUR PIN-UPS? YEAH. ALL VERY MURDERED. I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR POSSIBLE POINTS OF COMPARISON WITH THIS FELTON CASE. LOOK FOR A YOUNG GUY, BURT. NOW YOU'RE GUESSING. PRE-MEDITATED MURDER BY A PSYCHO, AND NOT HIS FIRST. HE DIDN'T LEAVE ANY FINGERPRINTS. SO HE WORE GLOVES. ANYONE WHO LEAVES FINGERPRINTS NOWADAYS, EVEN ON HIS FIRST HOMICIDE, CAN'T EVEN READ! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH STUFF IS WRITTEN AND PUBLISHED FOR THE INSTRUCTION OF POTENTIAL LAWBREAKERS? TAKE THE SO-CALLED COMIC BOOKS. SOLD TO KIDS OF ALL AGES, IN DRUGSTORES AND- WHY DO YOU SAY THIS KILLER IS YOUNG? THE LIPSTICK BIT. THERE'S NOTHING NEW ABOUT THAT. SEVERAL YEARS AGO- I KNOW, I KNOW. WHAT WAS IT? "CATCH ME, I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF"? THIS ONE ONLY CHANGED THE LYRICS. "ASK MOTHER." HE'S A MAMA'S BOY UNLESS I'M MISTAKEN. WELL, THE MESSAGE MAY HAVE BEEN A BLIND. I THINK IT'S AN IMPERTINENCE. HE'S LAUGHING AT THE POLICE BY LEAVING CLUES BUT NO FINGERPRINTS. KEEP ON TALKING. IN THE OLD DAYS, BEFORE YOU WERE ABOVE WRITING ABOUT CRIME, YOU AND I USED TO BE PRETTY GOOD TOGETHER. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE DRESSER DRAWERS FOUND OPEN? WE SEARCHED THE JANITOR'S ROOM. WE DIDN'T FIND ANYTHING. OF COURSE, WE DON'T KNOW THAT ANYTHING WAS STOLEN. KAUFMAN. HOMICIDE. DETAILS? FEMALE... WHITE... 21... UNMARRIED... SCHOOLTEACHER... STRANGLED... 3:00 THIS MORNING. Man: HE ENTERED THROUGH THE BEDROOM WINDOW. OH? DO WE HAVE ANY LIPSTICK? LIPSTICK? THIS JOKER'S MUCH TOO CLEVER EVER TO LEAVE LIPSTICK AGAIN, BURT. SHE GOT HER HANDS IN HIS HAIR. WE TOOK A COUPLE STRANDS FROM UNDERNEATH HER FINGERNAILS. THAT'S GOOD. ANYTHING? NO, HE MUST HAVE USED GLOVES. HE LEFT THE BOOK HERE DELIBERATELY, TO LAUGH AT YOU, BURT. AND EVERY TIME, HE'LL LEAVE A DIFFERENT CLUE. LOOK, SERGEANT, I'VE BEEN HERE OVER 9 HOURS AND ALL I'VE GOT IS WHAT EVERY OTHER REPORTER IN TOWN HAS, A GENERAL RELEASE ON THE FELTON MURDER. TIM, YOU AND I HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME. I NEED SOMETHING SPECIAL, SOMETHING FOR MYSELF. IS THIS CASE ANY GOOD AGAINST PILSKY? MM-HMM. PRETTY GOOD. BE SPECIFIC, TIM. I WON'T FORGET YOU. WELL, IF I WAS TO TELL YOU WHY WE PICKED PILSKY UP- YEAH, WHY, WHY? YOU WOULDN'T SAY WHERE YOU GOT IT, PROMISE? PROMISE. WELL, PILSKY'S FINGERPRINTS ARE ON THE MURDER WEAPON. OH, THANKS, TIM. YOU WON'T REGRET IT. AAH! WAIT. WAIT TILL I'M OUT OF THE OFFICE. MARK LOVING, SISTER, QUICK. MARK? I'VE GOT THE INSIDE DOPE ON THE FELTON CASE. WHAT? GREAT WORK, GERALD! THAT'S GREAT. HOLD THE LINE. PHONE IN TO WALTER KYNE THAT I'VE CRACKED THE LIPSTICK CASE. JOE, GERALD MEADE'S ON MY LINE, TAKE IT. GIVE ME THE CALL ON MR. LOVING'S LINE. DON'T GIVE IT TO THE COPY DESK, FEED IT DIRECTLY TO THE WIRE. TOM! GOOD MORNING. 'MORNING, MARK. WANT TO MAKE A BET? ON WHAT? ON ME. Man: HOLD IT, JIM. CAL, WHO SENT IT? WASHINGTON. BREAK THEM. GIVE THIS 4 BELLS. MARK. CAN I BELIEVE THIS? YOU CRACKED THE LIPSTICK CASE. HA HA! I CERTAINLY DID! WE'VE GOT A SCOOP ON THE BIGGEST STORY IN THE COUNTRY. DID THIS GO OVER THE WIRE? FOR GOD'S SAKE! OH, I'LL BE- MARK'S KILLING IT. KILLING IT? WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM? THAT IDIOT MEADE. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? WASN'T HE QUOTING A COP? NOTHING A COP SAYS OUTSIDE A COURTROOM IS PRIVILEGED. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? ANYTHING YOU REPEAT, NO MATTER FROM WHAT SOURCE, IF IT DOESN'T SIT UNDER OATH, YOU'D BETTER STAND ON IT YOURSELF. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HE MEANS IF THE OLD MAN DIDN'T KILL HER, IT'S LIBEL. LIBEL! YOU COULD BE SUED. ANY NEWSPAPER THAT USES YOUR WIRE SERVICE COULD BE SUED. WELL, WHAT KIND OF A WIRE SERVICE ARE YOU RUNNING, ANYWAY? I KILLED IT, DIDN'T I? YOU TWO DON'T HAVE TO QUOTE ME THE LAW OF LIBEL! OF COURSE NOT, WALTER. YOU MISSED SOMETHING, ED. MEADE ALMOST SCUTTLED LOVING. LOOK- READ THAT COPY, JON. HUH? HA HA! SENSATIONAL. CAN YOU SUBSTANTIATE? NOPE. MAY BE A PIPE DREAM. BUT IF IT IS, KAUFMAN AND I ARE SMOKING TOGETHER. IN ANY CASE, I'M GOING ON THE AIR WITH IT IN 5 MINUTES. HOLD IT FOR THE PAPER, ED. LET ME HIT THE STREET WITH IT BY 7:00. USE IT IN YOUR NIGHT SHOW. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? I WANT TO GET THE JOB, THAT'S THE IDEA. AND TO GET THE JOB, I'LL STICK A KNIFE IN ANYBODY I HAVE TO. OH, I KNOW, I KNOW! IF I HAD ANY ETHICS LEFT, I'D GIVE IT TO LOVING FOR HIS WIRE. OK, OK. I'LL TAKE IT TO HIM MYSELF. DON'T CALL YOURSELF MY BOY, MEADE! YOU'RE THROUGH! MEADE, YOU'RE THROUGH. WHEN YOU KILLED THAT BULLETIN, YOU PROMISED YOUR CLIENTS A NEW LEAD. I THINK THAT WILL DO IT. GREAT SCOT! YOU GOT ONE-MINUTE LEAD ON MOBLEY'S TELECAST. THAT BOYFRIEND OF YOURS WHO SET OUT TO HELP ME, HE JUST PUT YOUR BOSS A MILE OUT IN FRONT. Announcer: MR. WALTER KYNE PRESENTS THE DISTINGUISHED AUTHOR, COLUMNIST, AND PULITZER PRIZE- WINNER EDWARD MOBLEY IN HIS PERCEPTIVE ANALYSIS OF THE DAY'S NEWS- IT'S ALREADY ON THE WIRE. WAIT TILL YOU HEAR. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AT APPROXIMATELY 3:00 A.M. THIS MORNING, IN OUR CITY, ONE HUMAN BEING TOOK THE LIFE OF ANOTHER. IN OUR WORLD, ACTS OF VIOLENCE ARE NOT RARE. AND SO MY EXCUSE, OR, I SHOULD SAY, MY REASON, FOR GIVING IMPORTANCE TO THIS PARTICULAR STORY, IS MY HOPE THAT THE KILLER MAY BE LISTENING TO ME. FOR I BELIEVE THAT IN HIS PROGRESS TO THE CHAIR OR TO THE INSANE ASYLUM THAT HE HAS REACHED A WAY STATION, WHERE HIS SICK AND WARPED EGO DEMANDS TO BE FED WITH THE MILK OF SELF-IMPORTANCE. AND SO, WITH THE CONSENT OF A VERY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE, WHO IS BY WAY OF BEING A REMARKABLE CRIMINOLOGIST, BUT WHO HAS ALSO ASKED THAT HIS NAME NOT BE CREDITED, I'M GOING TO SAY A FEW THINGS TO THE KILLER, FACE TO FACE. ITEM 1- MR. UNKNOWN, YOU WILL NOT FOR VERY LONG REMAIN UNKNOWN. ITEM 2- YOU'RE HUSKY. STRONG ENOUGH TO HAVE CHOKED TO DEATH THIS MORNING A POOR SCHOOLTEACHER BY THE NAME OF LAURA KELLY. ITEM 3- YOU ARE THE SAME KILLER WHO, LAST WEEK, BLUDGEONED TO DEATH A GIRL BY THE NAME OF JUDITH FELTON. YOU ARE THE LIPSTICK KILLER. ITEM 4- YOU READ THE SO-CALLED COMIC BOOKS. ITEM 5- YOU HAVE DARK-BROWN HAIR. A FEW STRANDS OF YOUR HAIR WERE FOUND BENEATH THE FINGERNAILS OF YOUR LATEST VICTIM. ITEM 6- YOU'RE YOUNG. A CRIME LAB EXAMINATION OF YOUR HAIR REVEALS THAT YOU'RE APPROXIMATELY 20 YEARS OF AGE. ITEM 7- YOU'RE A MAMA'S BOY. ITEM 8- THE NORMAL FEELING OF LOVE THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE TOWARD YOUR MOTHER HAS BEEN TWISTED INTO HATRED, FOR HER- AND ALL OF HER SEX. ITEM 9- Mother: MAY I COME IN, DEAR? I HEARD THE TELEVISION, SO I KNEW YOU WERE UP. IT MUST HAVE BEEN ABOUT 4:00 WHEN I HEARD YOU COME IN THIS MORNING. I DON'T LIKE WORKING SO LATE. OH, I KNOW. I KNOW HOW IT IS WITH MY BOY- STUDYING ALL DAY, WORKING ALL NIGHT, AND I KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT HAS BEEN FOR YOU EVER SINCE YOUR FATHER LEFT US. HE'S NOT MY FATHER! AND YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER. ROBERT, DON'T SAY THAT. WHY NOT? IT'S TRUE, ISN'T IT? WHEN YOU ADOPTED ME, YOU WANTED A GIRL, DIDN'T YOU? AND HE WANTED A BOY! NEITHER ONE OF YOU WAS SATISFIED, WERE YOU? I REMEMBER ONCE WHEN I WAS 8 YEARS OLD- 8 YEARS OLD! I WAS HELPING YOU DUST THE HOUSE, AND THAT WOMAN FROM ACROSS THE STREET CAME OVER AND SAID, "MY, MY." AND YOU SAID, "YES, I KNOW. "HE'S EXACTLY LIKE A LITTLE GIRL, ISN'T HE?" BUT, ROBERT, YOU ARE MY SON AND MY DAUGHTER AND ALL THE CHILDREN I EVER WISHED I COULD HAVE HAD. DON'T YOU LOVE YOUR MOTHER? SHALL I SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE MY MOTHER? OH, I HAVE SUCH A GOOD BOY! NOW I'LL BRING YOUR BREAKFAST. YOU MUST BE AWFULLY HUNGRY. Mobley: AND SO, WITH THIS MOST HAPPY NEWS ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE, I CLOSE UNTIL I VISIT WITH YOU AGAIN AT 11:00 TONIGHT. IN THE MEANTIME, FOR ANY FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS IN THE CASE OF THE LIPSTICK KILLER, READ THE SENTINEL, WHICH HITS YOUR NEWSSTANDS WITH ITS FIRST EDITION AT 7:00 THIS EVENING. Griffith: DID HE REALLY GET NANCY'S OK ON THIS THING? HE MUST HAVE. Kaufman: HERE, HE'S BRINGING HER. HI. BURT, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU. HELLO, BURT. NANCY. JON. TONIGHT, WE CELEBRATE. THANKS, JON. IT'S WORTH GETTING ENGAGED. THAT WAS A PRETTY FLOSSY TELECAST YOUR BOY DID. NOW WE'VE GOT TO GET READY FOR THE NEXT STEP. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HAVEN'T YOU TALKED THIS OVER WITH NANCY? THE NEXT STEP IS TO THE ALTAR. I'M TALKING IT OVER WITH HER NOW. NANCY, YOU GOT THE IDEA OF MY TELECAST, TO INSULT THE KILLER. YES. HE'LL GET MAD AT ME AND ANYBODY I LIKE. AND IF I KNOW HIS MANIACAL MIND, SOONER OR LATER, HE'LL COME OUT, AFTER THE BAIT. WELL... WHAT BAIT? HA! SOME NICE GIRL, LIKE THE OTHER TWO. WHO? HA HA! A NICE GIRL WITH A BUTTON LOCK ON HER DOOR. YOU MEAN SOMEONE NAMED "NANCY." AHEM! NANCY, YOU SEE THAT MAN IN THE DARK SUIT SITTING OVER AT THE BAR? HIS NAME IS MIKE O'LEARY. HE'S A PLAINCLOTHESMAN FROM BURT'S DEPARTMENT. FROM NOW ON, HE'LL BE YOUR SHADOW. HE'LL TAKE YOU TO THE RED CROSS TONIGHT, AND THEN HOME TO YOUR ROOM, AND MAKE SURE THE DOOR IS LOCKED. MORNINGS, YOU WON'T LEAVE UNTIL HE'S THERE TO GO WITH YOU, WHEREVER YOU GO. YOU'LL BE SAFER THAN YOU'VE EVER BEEN IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE. THAT'S THE KIND OF GUY YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY. I LIKE THE KIND OF GUY I'M GOING TO MARRY. I TOLD HIM LAST NIGHT I'D DO ANYTHING FOR HIM. I WON'T LET HIM DOWN. ALL RIGHT, DARLING, I'LL DO IT. LET'S KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY! I WAS PRETTY SURE YOU'D SAY YES, BUT IT'S A GOOD THING YOU DID SAY YES, BECAUSE THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF OUR ENGAGEMENT IS ALREADY IN THE PAPER. WHAT DO YOU KNOW? NANCY ENGAGED TO ED MOBLEY. THAT NICE LITTLE SECRETARY OF YOURS, DARLING. HMM. I WONDER WHAT SHE'S GOT. WELL, APPARENTLY SHE'S GOT MOBLEY. NO, I MEAN TO ATTRACT A MAN. OH, FORGET THEM, LOVE. I'M WORRIED. ABOUT THE JOB? WHAT ELSE? KYNE WORRIES ME. HE WAS HUMILIATED TODAY IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, AND IT'S MY FAULT. YOU MADE UP FOR IT WITH THE SCOOP ON MOBLEY ON HIS OWN TELECAST. LET ME TELL YOU THE FACTS OF LIFE. THAT BREAK WAS AN ACCIDENT OF TIMING. IF ONLY I HAD MOBLEY IN MY CORNER. HE KNOWS THE RIGHT PEOPLE. DON'T YOU? OH, SURE. I KNOW THE HEAD WAITER OF THE STORK, AND THE COLONNIER, AND "21," AND I KNOW THE FELLOW AT THE DOG SHOW, AND THE FELLOW AT THE DOG SHOW KNOWS THE FELLOW AT THE HORSE SHOW, AND THE FELLOW AT THE HORSE SHOW KNOWS THE PEOPLE AT THE WALDORF, AND THE PEOPLE AT THE WALDORF KNOW ME, BUT MOBLEY KNOWS THE RIGHT COPS. WELL, MARK, TALK TO HIM. IT MIGHT DO A GREAT DEAL OF HARM IF HE RATS ABOUT IT TO GRIFFITH. DEAR HEART. YOU WANT ME TO HAVE THIS JOB, DON'T YOU? YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK THAT. THEN GO TO MOBLEY FOR ME.